Scott Pilgrim

Scott Pilgrim is the main character of MERB's Season 3 finale who starts off the battle fighting Taylor Swift, though develops feelings for her and like his original series, fights all seven of her evil exes so he can win her heart, though gives up the battle after she reveals it was all a ruse leading to the match's real opponent. Scott was voiced by WrightOnTarget.
==Information on the Rapper:==
Scott Pilgrim is the protagonist of the series of Canadian graphic novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley, as well as the 2010 live-action film it inspired where he was portrayed by Michael Cera. He is the bass player for the band Sex Bob-Omb and worked as a dish washer & food prep trainee at The Happy Avocado vegetarian restaurant. The character's name was inspired by a song from Plumtree's 1998 album Predicts the Future. He believes that smoking is evil, drinks "only on occasions", and doesn't hit girls. Scott seems to suffer from memory problems and went through many rough relationships before he settled on Ramona Flowers, only to find out she has seven other evil exes led by the mysterious "Gideon," who he is able to triumphantly trump using his cunning wits in spite of poor capacity. 
Scott Pilgrim was ranked as the 85th-greatest comic book character of all time by Wizard magazine. Empire magazine ranked Scott Pilgrim as the 40th-greatest comic book character stating that Scott "is one of the most authentic twenty-somethings ever committed to comic book paper." IGN ranked Scott Pilgrim the 69th-greatest comic book hero of all time, stating that they love Scott not just because he is a tried-and-true nerd who battles villains in epic fashion, but because he went through a dramatic character arc over the course of his series. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/List_of_Scott_Pilgrim_characters
==Lyrics:==
===Verse 1:===
One, two, three, four! Yo, welcome to Toronto, land of mystery:
It's not the York you've sung about, and one far cry from Tennessee!
I'm rated "A" for "Awesome"; I'd rate you about a five-point-two:
"Too many teardrops from your whining", says my IGN review.
I feel I've loathed you for a thousand years; call me your biggest hater,
And the frigid words I spit: the bitterest Cornetto flavor!
Yeah, I've heard your fans: the kids all claiming you're the next Madonna,
But I've seen your latest vids, and girl, you're snorting marijuana!
You're a Naga, looking like the spawn of some LaVeyan coven;
Sampled "I'm Too Sexy", yet won't even show your belly button!
Your love life is a Catastrophe; you've got some major baggage,
'Cause you're not well in the head: the brain inside is surely damaged!
Mere band-aids won't fix the holes I'll leave as I tear you asunder,
Swiftly putting your whole "Gorgeous" Reputation six feet under!
Hitting hard as solid Mithril, I was born with rap-proficiency;
Insulting you's like garlic bread: I could go at it endlessly!
===Verse 2:===
Listen, I'mma let you finish, but your flowing ain't the best!
Besides, I can't shake off the feeling me and you might still have sex,
So let's forget our feuding; say we got amnesia,
And Begin Again at Blank Spaces just like your social media!
===Verse 3:===
I didn't come here to hold my peace, and thus, I'm speaking now:
It's time to make a Scottaholic out of you, and freaking how!
My last verse on this song'll be a killer: audience, beware,
And there's no way that you'll be Ready For It, Tay; you're unprepared!
I'm a high-flying Rickenbacker ace like Eddie on the bass;
You're the female Henry the Eighth, faced with my Pilgrimage of Grace!
This Romeo is throwing more than pebbles at you, Juliet,
'Cause I'm in lesbians with you, and it's our story; just say yes!
Your ego can't get in the way of how I spit this sick shit madly,
So consider me the second Scott you're gonna call your daddy!
===Verse 4:===
This truly is my Finest Hour; wait until I tell the fellas:
Natalie will Envy me, and even Wallace may be jealous…
…Whatever, then! Now, let's make love; I'll tap your weakest point!
I'm sorry, babe; please come again? Some weirdo just shot me a text.
It says: "Be warned: you're getting Jacked, so Gong Yi Tanpai, to the death!"
===Verse 5:===
So, you think you're S-L-ick with that wack heli-pack and face-paint?
Get your Jackie Chan Adventures ass back in your parents' basement!
Plus, you aren't the real Jack Spicer, though I bet you screw men, too;
You won't survive what my vocabulary's gonna do to you!
===Verse 6:===
This demon chick of yours ain't hip; she's fifteen centuries behind.
My girl is never out of Style; that, you'd better keep in mind!
Wait a minute… you two dated?!
===Verse 7:===
How can you hope to spellbind me when you can't spell the word "Shaolin"?
Your rapping's comparable to Chronicles: nobody gives a shit!
Listen, Pinky and the Brain: give up on global domination;
If I brought you in, your bounties' sum wouldn't cover transportation.
Leaping into action like the Mantis Coin to stick it to ya',
I'll bust caps in you in slow-mo while doves fly away, and Woo ya'!
AAAAA... (does this at least four times when closing in on Spicer)
…What a freaking nut that guy was; good thing I made him go boom!
===Verse 8:===
Since when'd you Darkslide over to the dark side, eh? I never knew;
I guess you did the kind of "heel-flip" that professional wrestlers do!
You've Dwindled in freestyle-skill; those improv raps were nothing special,
And your "A-Team" made the one with Liam Neeson look successful!
How can you switch up your stance with newfound tactics as you fight me
When your Plan B crashed and burned already way back in the nineties?
I don't want your autograph; need not hear any more from you
As I set out to rectify your record: thirty-four to two.
===Verse 8:===
Hell, you're just here 'cause Tony Hawk already had an E.R.B.!
You're past your peak; with age, grown rusty. Man, you've let your technique slide:
I bet you couldn't even rail-grind down that stairway if you tried!
===Verse 9:===
Holy crap, it worked; the Mutt struck terminal velocity!
I guess he somehow never read his own autobiography…
Tell me about it, right… wait, who is this?
===Verse 10:===
Wow; so much for your peace-loving dedication to nonviolence!
Crossing me was your worst move since opting out of Zombie Island!
Voicing Shaggy ended by the Sword? So will this extra life;
I'll put more anguish in your final hours than your second wife,
Then bury you right on the spot, to spare your kids another quandary.
Clash against this demon on the mic, and get headbutted promptly!
Once, you munched on Scooby Snacks, but now, you must be smoking spliffs,
So just take after your Transformers role, and jump right off a cliff!
===Verse 11:===
Although it's against his diet, and might even make him sick,
This gawky, shit-talky disc jockey needs to go and eat a dick!
===Verse 12:===
Have no fear, Judge; all's forgiven.
(*BEEPY-BOOP!*)
A 1-up? Cool; I must have scored a lot of points then!
So now, Taylor, when can I destroy the next of your ex-boyfriends?
What's the difference?
===Verse 13:===
Yeah, you're the Avatar, and dissing you is how I'm dealing with it;
It's your Last Stand if you'd step to this: you've got me feeling livid!
Swallowed whole by my dark lyrics, you won't recollect what hit you;
You're a lost soul, foggy-minded: don't know what you're getting into!
My chaotic raps will fracture you, like Ba Sing Se in anarchy;
I'll make your wack recap-announcer go…
That mercury derailed you into three years of depression?
That's no way to cope when handed poison lemons; just ask Tenzin!
===Verse 14:===
In mind-blowing circumstances, your arch-foe discovered flight,
And just as well, I'll take a level, and unlock the lover's might;
That's right, I'm armed! You're like Ming-Hua now; brace for your next new beginning…
(*SLICE!*)
New question for the other Quora: how's that for "love winning"?
===Verse 15:===
Oh, quite the opposite;
That's hot! Besides, I'm on a roll, and I'll have nothing stopping it;
At this rate, I could take on two at once!
Wait; I didn't mean that!
===Verse 16:===
Those camera tricks aren't fooling me; you're far from "Legendary"-level:
I've seen more authentic acting from Tim Curry as the Devil!
Screw Ibiza, Reg: I'm handing you two tickets straight to Hell,
And popping you like pills by the beloved you made slay herself!
With words as torturous as anything the Richardsons could fathom,
Watch me knock you 'til you're barfing blood like River City Ransom!
I'm a true violence-professional, so don't go slinging mud;
Just call me Leonard Ernest Read: I'll be the Nipper of your buds!
===Verse 17:===
I bring dishonor with the lyrics I'm discharging at you here:
These sentences'll leave you stricken for upwards of thirty years!
You died when Taylor was a kid; how could you possibly have dated?
…Seriously, Tay: what gives?!
===Verse 18:===
In my view, this rhythm's earned a rest from your wack rap-activities;
I'll send you both back down into the ultimate captivity!
Though five whole years went by between your prior passings, know this:
You'll go out together here; I'm getting that achievement-bonus!
(*BANG, POW, BAM, BOOM, BOOM!*)
===Verse 19:===
…Seems those twins were hardly wonders once my powers activated;
Now, but one last evil ex remains with whom I'm battle-fated!
So, who's sucker sinner seven? Yo, I bet I'll bust him easy!
What the Hell; where'd Taylor go, and why'd her face look all aglow?
Perhaps I ought to venture off alone, and- (*RING-RING-RING!*) …Hello?
===Verse 20:===
Why, you autogenocidal fiend; you'll pay for this offense,
For in defiling my love, you give me something to Avenge!
You're weak; your power's an illusion, like that pretty face of yours,
You freak! Go back to your own kind; I hear the Blue Man Group's on tour!
Your daddy should've left you where your daddy left you, all alone;
You say you're master over minds? I say you're infinitely stoned,
But don't expect you'll live to see the plans of Thanos come together;
As a Marvel movie villain, sheer dumb luck can't last forever.
===Verse 21:===
To quote a doper boss than Odin with a far more fly eyepatch,
I've had it with this motherfucking joking Jotun on my track!
I'll beat you black, and bluer still, 'til even Frigga says you're ugly;
Try this thrashing on for size, and then let's see you acting smugly…
(*BACKSTAB!*)
You cheater…
Not to complain, and no offense, but don't I have another guy?
…I live, with newfound understanding and respectfulness of self,
My Kurses on you cutting deeper than the duskiest of elves!
You ran for president? I'd sooner vote for Kanye! Man, you're heinous,
So relax, and have a drink; I'm pretty sure this poison's painless…
===Verse 21:===
The viking villain's vanquished; I'm victorious!
Well, yes!
===Verse 22:===
You're in way over your disfigured head; prepare to be defeated,
For I see what's up inside it, no Jacktastic voyage needed.
This just in, and Hellquist isn't here to spin it in your favor:
If you're your own story's hero, so's Big Brother; you're no savior!
Go ahead and call me bandit scum; I spit psychotically,
Though I ain't suicidal: that would be your Siren progeny,
'Cause you're an asshole, plain and simple, and that diss won't be my last!
Athena gave this "hero" too much credit; "Lilith's fault", my ass.
===Verse 23:===
You'll meet explosive force, Torgue-style, when I pull the verbal trigger!
You say you're one-of-a-kind? Your Doppelgänger begs to differ.
Though your virtual rebirth was Nakayama's sole success,
You're now in Rhys' pieces, as your former biggest fan attests.
I bring the heat like lava in the Vault where you met your demise,
And as for handsomeness, Squidward is more appealing to the eyes!
I needn't go all Saw to leave your legacy entire gone,
For I'm this beat's M.C.E.O., and as of now, you're fired, John!
(*BOOM!*)
===Verse 24:===
Today has been no fairytale, but finally, you're my Valentine,
So let's get to it: I'll show you the most incredible of times!
(*As Scott prepares to consummate his conquest, time seems to slow down while a familiar musical riff starts playing…*)
What the Hell just happened? Taylor, are you- OH MY GOD!
===Verse 25:===
Though that Aztec mask served you well, here, you know not with what you're screwing:
Victory's as lost to you as your first film to public viewing,
You JoJoke! WatchMojo had it right: you're nowhere near the best.
I heard it from the man himself: even Speedwagon's unimpressed!
My words will Ripple through your mind and leave you yare yare dazed;
Forget Hamon, though: I kick ass schooled in the ways of Streets of Rage!
My Battle-Tendency is winning, more than Charlie ever could;
Succeeding where your body's donor failed, I'm sinking you for good.
===Verse 26:===
You used to be a bloody boss, with gods and living dead devoted;
Then, you took a fist into the knee so hard, your head exploded,
But an arrow, on the other hand, is how you were empowered,
So with that in mind, I take a Stand in this, my darkest hour!
(*STAB!*)
[STAND NAME] Sex Bob-omb [STAND MASTER]
Pushed past the Threshold, Awesomeness is dialed to eleven:
I'll crush you five times as if it were a game; think Eyes of Heaven!
I go hard as Crazy Diamond; there's no way you're breaking me! Quit tripping:
Your next line is, "I'll be walking home, like an Egyptian…"
Yes; ahem… OH SHIT, is that a motherfucking JoJo reference?!
Just call my Stand King Crimson's twin: screw making sense; it simply works!
I'm roasting you as thoroughly as the Saharan desert sun:
No cosmic reset's needed here; I've unconditionally won!
(*BOOM!*)
===Verse 27:===
Now, my most bizarre adventure's at its end, for sure, for real,
And at long last, T. Swizzle's love is mine! Alright, let's seal the deal!
So, it was all an act? Forget you, then, you crazy serpent-girl!
Aw man, this bites… but hey, at least I stand as conquerer of the World!
Wait… so Dio really was invading; you didn't even plan it?
'Cause his power's called "The World"?
Newsflash, big guy: you aren't the universe's center;
Stomping on your face, I'll leave a carbon footprint to remember,
And… whatever! You know what? Just finish this accursed thing;
I swear, it's had as many false ends as The Return of the King…
Category:Characters