Stories of Randomness III

Welcome to the third installment of Stories of Randomness! I think this is the best one yet, so sit back, relax, and read this special episode. Enjoy!
==The Coat Hanger==
===Script===
*(Rack's alarm clock beeps; he then hurries to wake up.)
*Rack: Oh no! I'm late! Didn't I already wake up like this before? Oh, never mind! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!
*NH: (Yawning): We get it, we got it, you're late. What for, though, he regrets asking?
*Rack: Well, I decided to go back to that art school.
*NH: But I thought you said you wouldn't be going back. Remember?
*(Flashes back to Rack doing a life drawing of a naked man.)
*Rack: I.... I just can't do this.
*Man: It's my leg hair, isn't it?
*Rack: No, no! Well, maybe a little...
*Man: Is it my curly hair?
*Rack: Not at all! Well, kinda...
*Man: (holding Rack by his shoulders): Come on, tell me! What's wrong with me?! I'll start wearing pantyhose! I'll wear a bald cap! I'll even become a nudist if you want, I am getting tired of that zipper.... but anyway, tell me what's wrong! We can make this together if we share our feelings!
*(Cut to a view of the building outside; Rack is running out while the man is following him.)
*Man: How about we make it the other way around and I draw you? No one will know the difference!
*(Cuts back to Rack and NH.)
*Rack: I did.... (Shuddering): But I decided why not give it another shot?
*NH: Okay, but don't come crying to me when he breaks out of jail, again, and finds you, again.
*Rack: Darn it, now the dream's gonna return.....
*(Rack's watch beeps.)
*Rack: I better go! I don't have time to waste tell Rig to eat shag as food and I'll come back with groceries later bye!
*(Rack leaves.)
*NH: Finally. Rig!
*Rig: (Pops up out of nowhere): Yep?
*NH: Let's.... relax.
*Rig: Okie dokie!
*(Rig looks in the fridge.)
*Rig: Hey, NH, where's the food?
*NH: There isn't any. The human will get some later.
*Rig: Aw. Hm....
*(Rig slowly starts walking towards NH, with NH slowly walking away backwards; Rig then sees NH as a chicken leg with his arms and legs intact.)
*NH: (appearing as the chicken leg): What's with you?
*Rig: (tongue on lips): It's called revenge!
*(Rig eats NH whole in one bite.)
*NH: (voice only): Ugh, thanks a lot, Rig! Oh, so there's where my Super Wolf outfit went!
*Rig: It was so spandex-y.
*(Cut to Rack, who is running very fast, with bizarre obstacles in his way, such as a badger on his head; we then cut to an art class.)
*Student #1: So...... what are we gonna do?
*Teacher: What?
*Student #1: Something like, oh, I don't know, teaching us about art?
*Teacher: What?
*Student #2: (sigh): It's the same thing every day with her!
*(Someone suddenly barges into the room.)
*???: Sorry I'm late, class. I needed to (takes a deep breath) admire my art.
*Teacher: What?
*???: Look Myrtle, turn up your hearing aid.
*Myrtle: What?
*???: 'Kay Myrtle, you can take your medication now, which is in a plastic bag, you can fall asleep, it's been a long day.
*(??? pushes Myrtle.)
*Student #3: Is she oka-
*???: Don't question my authority!
*Student #3: But you push-
*???: Don't interrupt me!
*Student #4: What's your name, anyway?
*???: Rude! But I am Ms. Inbetween, your..... well, now, substitute teacher!
*(The class laughs at her name.)
*Ms. Inbetween: You won't be laughing after I give the janitor the night off and you need to clean your messes.
*(The students stop laughing.)
*Ms. Inbetween: That's what I thought. Speaking of which, where's that nerdy boy in the purple shirt?
*(Rack barges in.)
*Rack: I'm here Mrs. Myrtle! Sorry I'm late, first my alarm clock was off, then a badger attacked-
*Ms. Inbetween: First of all, I am not Myrtle, I'm Ms. Inbetween! How dare you insult me with that word?! And secondly, learn how to set a clock! Now sit down.
*Rack: But-
*Ms. Inbetween: Want a paddling?
*(Rack sits down.)
*Ms. Inbetween: Now, class, before we were rudely interrupted, let's do our paper mache projects!
*(The class is silent.)
*Ms. Inbetween: What are ya, dead? Anyway, grab your newspapers, starch, paint and coat hangers!
*Rack: What does a coat hanger have to do with that?
*Ms. Inbetween: You clearly need more classes. Now, students, before starting, don't go to the bathroom on the papers....
*(Animal student hides.)
*Ms. Inbetween: Don't eat the starch....
*(An obese student is about to eat a handful, but doesn't.)
*Ms. Inbetween: Don't paint yourselves...
*Student #5: (painted cheeks red): What's wrong with a little blush?
*Ms. Inbetween: And most importantly, do not throw any coat hangers around. They can be deadly.
*(The class laughs.)
*Ms. Inbetween: That is no laughing matter! They can cause infections, as we are using the rusty kind, and also get lodged into your brain and cause brain damage! Not that I would know....
*Student #6: Yeah, whatever you say, coot!
*Rack: Hm, I like lava. Maybe I'll do something like that!
*(Rack does the project and is done quickly.)
*Student #6: What the heck is that? It looks like some orange, blue eyed kid that's having an asthma attack! And you're such a nerd! "I like lava." No wonder you dropped out, four eyes!
*Student #5: (chuckling): You know, you are kind of a loser!
*Rack: Hey! You try drawing a naked man that has a crush on you!
*Student #6: Nerd and Nudist, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g! (laughs hard)
*(Students #5 and 6 laugh together.)
*Rack: Mind your own business.
*Student #6: Hey, I have an idea. (whispers to Student #5)
*Student #5: Isn't that kind of harsh? And she said we couldn't do that.
*Student #6: Oh, you're such a stickler for the rules. No wonder we broke up.
*Student #5: (gasps): The girls were right! I always fall for the bad boys! Now get out of my way, I'm gonna get a new partner.
*(Student #5 pushes Student #6; Student #5 then proceeds to partner with Rack.)
*Rack: Leave me alone. You can stop making fun of me now.
*Student #5: Listen, I'm sorry I called you a loser. You actually seem like a great guy, and I was being immature making you feel bad. It's my.... now.... ex-boyfriend's fault for making me act that way. Can we start over?
*Rack: Sure!
*(While Rack and Student #5 are talking, Student #6, infuriated, attempts to throw the coat hanger at Student #5, but it hits someone else instead.)
*Student #5: My name's Theresa. What's yours?
*Rack: Oh, you know..... just Rack.
*(The coat hanger hits Rack's ear, right in the area where an earring would be pierced; Theresa then screams loudly.)
*Rack: What's wrong?
*Theresa: T-there's a-a-a coat hang-hanger on your ea-r!
*Rack: Very funny.
*Ms. Inbetween: (wakes up): Is it lunch time yet? Oh! Who threw it?!
*(Everyone points at Student #6.)
*Student #6: Pointing is impolite! And they think I'm mean...
*Ms. Inbetween: Oh, my boy, you haven't seen "mean" yet!
*(Ms. Inbetween powerbombs Student #6 into the ground; it creates a hole, which Student #6 falls into, hearing his screaming echo.)
*Ms. Inbetween: Eh, the janitor'll take care of it. He loves corpses!
*Rack: But seriously, what's happening?
*Theresa: Here.
*(Theresa gives Rack her compact.)
*Rack: (screams): I have a zit!
*(Theresa rolls her eyes and moves it to his ear.)
*Rack: (screams): You weren't kidding!
*Ms. Inbetween: Is there any blood?
*Rack: May I be excu-
*Ms. Inbetween: I don't see any blood...
*Rack: But-
*Ms. Inbetween: I don't see any blood! Go back to your seat!
*(Rack sits down.)
*Ms. Inbetween: Now, I wanted to show you all a special guest to do our life drawing course....
*Rack: (thinking): Oh no..... I hope it's not that guy again....
*Ms. Inbetween: No thinking! Art is natural, improvised, not thoughtful. You need to learn more about art. But, here..... he....... is!
*(Ms. Inbetween takes the curtain off to reveal the "special guest".)
*Old Man: (In "The Thinker" pose): About time! Come to papa, breeze!
*(Old Man's nudity is censored with the student's drawing posts.)
*Class: Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
*Ms. Inbetween: How dare you?! This is the beauty of aged man!
*Old Man: You darn kids! You don't know how great you got it! How would you like wearing the same clothes and never taking them off for fifteen years?!
*Ms. Inbetween: Ingrates. It seems you all need to learn how to get "into" your works. I'll gladly show you how.
*(Offscreen, Ms. Inbetween is smelling Old Man in an unspecified area.)
*Old Man: Woo Nelly, you should teach dogs how to say "hello"!
*(Some students fall down, unconscious.)
*Ms. Inbetween: So what are you thinkin'? (winks)
*Old Man: I'm thinking about getting up 'cause my butt's asleep!
*Ms. Inbetween: But you can't-
*Old Man: (to Rack): Hey, whippersnapper, catch my good side!
*(Rack tries not to throw up; we then cut to Rack during the digital course.)
*Rack: Ugh, this coat hanger's starting to get a bit heavy...
*Ms. Inbetween: Oh, stop complaining! There's no blood, it's not in your brain, this class itself is for those with wuss excuses like "I have arthritis" or "My hand's aching from all the work", get over it!
*(Rack sighs, and then accidentally trips on a wire, shutting off all computers.)
*Ms. Inbetween: You're one rebel....
*(Cuts to Rack and the class painting; Rack is painting NH and Rig.)
*Rack: Ah, hopefully painting will calm me down....
*US: Raclk? Is that you? I couldn't recognize ya with that lame fad you're trying to start.
*Rack: Oh, hey US, I didn't know you liked art too.
*US: Of course I do! It created purple!
*Rack: Well, art didn't exactly-
*Ms. Inbetween: Talking, huh? Shame on you two! You should be breathing life into your works!
*US: Like this? (breathes)
*Ms. Inbetween: No, like this!
*(Ms. Inbetween smashes Rack's head in his painting, making his glasses get covered in paint.)
*Rack: Hopefully the paint fumes don't reach my lungs....
*US: But I don't want to ruin my beautiful painting!
*(It is revealed US just painted purple.)
*Ms. Inbetween: Yeah, that would be such a shame....
*Rack: Great. I can't see, I think my ear's getting rusty, and this has been the worst day ever!
*Ms. Inbetween: You're clearly not ready for my classes. Get out, double dropout!
*Rack: Gladly!
*(Rack bumps into something and goes unconscious; later, he then awakens, finding himself on a hospital bed, being pushed by US, Old Man, Ms. Inbetween and Theresa.)
*Rack: Hey, I can see!
*Old Man: Yep! They only removed that hanger thingamajig.
*Rack: Itter!
*Old Man: Although, they needed to borrow a skin graft from yours truly to fill up the hole. Ha ha!
*(Rack sees his old skin on Old Man's ear with a bandage; he then screams.)
*Ms. Inbetween: You know, you're the most naive, rebellious and persistent student I've ever had. That's why you're my favorite.
*US: I just think it's cool you have old skin on your ear now!
*Rack: Please don't make me scream again.
*Theresa: Glad you're feeling better.
*(Theresa kisses Rack's head, leaving red lipstick on his forehead.)
*Rack: Thanks, guys! So...... when are we gonna get out of the hospital?
*Ms. Inbetween: Oh, we're still in the school, we just went to the nurse's office. You're on my desk!
*Rack: (finds pencil, throws it): Great. Hopefully this cartoon wraps up soon.
*Old Man: You got it!
*(Yakety Sax then plays, with the five going through multiple doors, a-la Scooby-Doo.)
*US: Man, I love that song!
*Old Man: Yep! Thanks to me and this little whippersnapper's transplant, now I am rejuvenated with your coat hanger and feel young again! See ya suckers!
*Theresa: Sure, but could you at least put on a pair of pants? That class has been over for hours now....
*US: (covers nose): Please! I can smell smells I never thought I could!
*Old Man: Nope! Once you unleash the demon within, he can't go back in!
*(Old Man runs out, laughing maniacally.)
*Rack: Can I get out now?
*US, Ms. Inbetween & Theresa: Be careful what you wish for...
*(The girls push Rack out of the building, and then gets off his "hospital bed"; he then discovers everyone outside now wearing a coat hanger on one of their ears.)
*Rig: (wearing two coat hangers on each ear): Thanks, Rackles! I can't get enough of this new fad!
*(Rack falls down, unconscious, exhausted from the long day.)
*NH: (in fetal position): It's okay now. You're out. You cleaned all the brown off.
*(Old Man is running in the background while laughing crazily with cops following him.)
*THE END.
==US's Segment==
===Script===
To be added/fixed when US is finished.
==Wolf vs Wolf==
===Script===
(NH is alone in Rack’s home, on his web.)
NH: Ah, all to myself. Rack is running errands, US is at the national bacon convention, and Rig… well I have no idea, but I don’t care. I am ALONE!.... Wait… why am I talking to myself? Hmm…
(A pebble hits the window. NH heads to the window to see.)
NH: What was that?
????: It is I, Wolfberg, unchallenged greatest wolf ever! I come from the forest I have rule over to claim this town as my own!
NH: Hey, I am the greatest wolf ever, not you! This town belongs to me… to conquer!
Wolfberg: You? You can’t call yourself a wolf! You’ve been domesticated! You’re no better than a dog!
NH: Oh really? No one calls me a dog and gets away with it!... except everyone else… nevermind the fact! I challenge you to a dual! In the central park, 9:00 tomorrow! Say, why did you come here randomly?
Wolfberg: Because I've heard of you before from all your worthless shenanigans, and I wanted to prove that I can overtake you and control this town without being domesticated!
NH: Very well then, silly feral one We shall meet in combat! Off to work! First, I need materials…
(NH walks into a convenience store. Old Man is the cashier).
NH: Human, I demand all the components necessary to make a laser weapon!
Old Man: Pffft, lasers. Kids these days are too violent with their technology stuff. Back in my day, we played dodge rock, and when you got hurt, you rubbed dirt on it because it built character! And let’s not forget the great rock shortage of 1928…
(The Old Man keeps rambling and doesn’t notice NH stealing stuff from the store.)
Old Man: …And watching those strange new flying machine, boy that was the bee’s knees….
(NH walks out the store, with a sign posted that says “we hire retirees!”).
NH: Odd that a simple convenience store had all of that. Now I just need a uranium fuel cell. Hmm…
(NH is sneaking into the mayoral office while the Deputy Mayor watches TV. He takes a glowing metal rod labeled “US’s thinking stick” and runs out.)
TV: …and the best way to be respected by your co-workers is to find closure…
Deputy Mayor: Inspiring…
(Later that night, in the lab.)
NH: A little bit of these, and a little bit of those, and a sandwich for me, and a little bit of that…
(Meanwhile, in the forest.)
Wolfberg: You, squirrels! Ties those twigs together! Birds, get the ammo! I need this thing ready by tomorrow morning! Serve your master!
(The next morning, at Rack’s house.)
Rack: Bye NH, gonna do more errands!
(He leaves.)
NH: Okay, now it’s time to show this Wolfberg who’s boss!
(Later. NH is sleeping in the central park in front of the town hall.)
Wolfberg: NH!
NH: *waking up* It was Rig!... Oh, it’s you. Ready to be kaplaminated?
Wolfberg: That’s not a real word.
NH: I know, I made it up just now. Your silly forest tech is nothing compared to non-domesticated but living in the presence of humans NH tech. Time to dual!
(NH gets out a laser pistol. Wolfberg gets out a slingshot with pebbles).
NH: A slingshot? Really?
(NH gets hit in the eye with a pebble.)
NH: Ow! That really hurt! My turn! But first, lunch!
(NH gets out a paper bag, and takes out a glowing power cell.)
NH: Hmm, that’s odd. I usually don’t eat uranium. Eh, I’ll pass.
(NH pulls the trigger, and a sandwich slowly squeezes out of the muzzle until it gets launched into Wolfberg’s face, sending him flying through a concrete building.)
NH: Hmm… it finally worked. I need to rethink what I use for ammo.
(Rack walks up to NH with groceries.)
Rack: Why hi there, wolfie! How was your day?
NH: Eh, the usual thing that happens when I’m alone.
THE END
==Planning Gone Bad==
===Script===
*(Story begins with a thunderstorm and NH is outside, flying a kite with a key on it; Rig comes outside)
*Rig: Hi NH! You like playing in the rain too?
*NH: No. This rain always makes my fur clean, which you know I hate having clean fur. I'm only out here since I have a plan.
*Rig: Plan? Is it to play in the mud and throw mud balls at people? That's what I do.
*NH: No! I plan on attracting electricity through the key which I put on this rope made of wire. The lightning will bring a current of electricity down this wire and to my doomsday device. (Points at a small box) It'll grow once it's turned on. Then I will use it to destroy US and become the mayor of USville!
*(NH laughs while lightning strikes in the background)
*Rig: So......after you're done, wanna play?!
*NH: NO! Now leave me alone.
*Rig: Okay. I'm gonna go to Punkin' Pies if you need me. (Pulls out a ring of keys) Wait, where's my key?
*NH: What key?
*Rig: My pie key! If you show it at Punkin' Pies, you get a free pie and it's not here!
*NH: Oh, I took it for this.
*Rig: What?! Give it back!
*NH: No, I need it!
*Rig: Fine! I'll get it myself!
*(Rig climbs up the wire)
*NH: Rig, get down! You're gonna ruin my plan!
*(Rig grabs the key, slides down the wire, and jumps to the ground)
*Rig: I got it!
*NH: Give it back to me at once!
*Rig: No! I need my free pies!
*(NH grabs the key and they fight over it)
*NH: It's mine!
*Rig: Mine!
*NH: It's mine!
*(Lightning strikes and hits the key; NH and Rig are thrown away from each other and are big balls of fur)
*NH: (Groans) Fine, take your stupid key!
*(He's about to throw the key when he sees that his arm is small and brown; He looks at a puddle and it's revealed that NH and Rig have switched bodies)
*NH: AH! I'm in Rig's body!
*Rig: Whoa, I'm in NH's body. This is awesome.
*NH: It is NOT awesome. You have my fabulous body and I have your pathetic excuse of one.
*Rig: I've always wanted to be a boy and not be in a girl's body. I'm taller, stronger, and-
*(A gentle breeze blows)
*Rig: -Enjoy this breeze. NH, you should of done this a long time ago! OH, and by the way, how many pies can you eat?
*NH: I don't know. I don't eat that garbage. Come on, we've got to find a way to get our bodies back.
*Rig: I can't keep your body?
*NH: No Rig.
*Rig: (Pouts) Fine.
*(A montage begins with NH doing research, he mixes multiple chemicals which causes a small explosion, he writes on a chalkboard, and is constantly annoyed by Rig's body; Rig is seen eating multiple pies, puts a fan in front of her so she can enjoy the breeze, chasing her tail, and decorating her fur with multiple bows and accesories; Montage ends when NH is seen standing in front of a machine with two helmets connected to it)
*Rig: OH, are we playing one of those fancy-dancy video games?
*NH: This isn't a video game. This is how we'll get our bodies back. We just put these helmets on, flip the switch on the control panel, and it will simulate the lightning that made all of this happen.
*Rig: (Looking confused) So it's a video game?
*NH: (Sarcastically) Yes, it's a video game. Now put your helmet on.
*Rig: Okay!
*(They put their helmets on)
*NH: Let's see if this doesn't catastrophically fail.
*(NH tries flipping the switch but can't)
*NH: Curse your puny strength.
*Rig: I found the power button!
*NH: NOOOO!
*(Rig presses a button which causes it to explode; they're coughing as the smoke fills the lab)
*NH: Knew that would happen. Great, now I'm stuck in this body forever!
*(The smoke clears, only revealing the upper part of them)
*NH: Yes, I'm back! But, why am I still small?
*(All of the smoke clears and it reveals that their lower halves still haven't changed)
*NH: You got to be kidding me.
*Rig: Yay! I still have the breeze!
*NH: How is this logically possible?
*Rig: I'm still taller than you, haha!
*NH: Brag all you want but we're still getting our bodies back to their normal state in the next episode.
*THE END
==Credits==
===The Coat Hanger===
====Starring====
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
*New Heathera as NH
*Utter solitude as US
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
*Old Man as Old Man
*Ms. Inbetween as Ms. Inbetween
*Theresa as Theresa
*Myrtle as Myrtle
*Naked Man as Naked Man
*Students as Students
*People in Town as People in Town
*Badger as Badger
====Writing====
*Written by: Rackliffelikespurple
====Thanks====
*To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.
*To Saizou1607 for linking me a gif of Ed (from Ed, Edd n' Eddy) jammin' with two coat hangers on, which inspired what Rig did. Thanks, Sai! XD
*To my own mother for coming up for the "Myrtle" jokes verbatim. She has a rather unique sense of humor.
*And, last but not least, to the coat hanger that impaled me in the ear.... where an earring would be pierced. Yes, believe it or not, this was a true story that happened to me, I just made it more "cartoon" like to be funnier. I still have that rusty old thing in my room!
===US's Segment===
To be added/fixed when US edits this.
===Wolf vs Wolf===
====Starring====
*New Heathera as NH
*Wolfberg as Wolfberg
*Old Man as Old Man 
*Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
*Dep. Mayor as Dep. Mayor 
*Woodland Creatures as Woodland Creatures
*TV Announcer as TV Announcer 
====Writing====
*Written by: New Heathera
====Thanks====
*To Rackliffelikespurple for being the inspiration to his character.
* 
===Planning Gone Bad===
====Starring====
*New Heathera as NH
*Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
====Writing====
*Story by: Rigbybestie1510
*Written by: Kait Dunlap
====Thanks====
*To New Heathera for being the inspiration to his character.
*To Rigbybestie1510 for thinking of the idea, I knew it would be a great idea for a SOR segment and it was, thanks Rig!
==Special Thanks==
To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Kait Dunlap for helping with the episode.
==Other==
===Rack===
I think this is my favorite SOR ep! All the stories are great! I hope you enjoyed, guys! Thanks for reading! :D
===NH===
Thanks to Rack, US, Kait, and everyone else involved in this. And thanks to the viewers.
===US===
To be added/fixed when US edits this.
===Kait===
This was my first SOR segment/episode, (Yay :p), and I think I did a pretty decent job. It was fun writing this and these are some of the greatest Show episodes imo. I love it and I'm sure you guys will love it too :)
Category:Episodes