The Krusty Bucket Lair/transcript

== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: July 13, 2019
Episode Copyrighted: 2019
This episode is rated TV-PG.
Episode starts at Mr. Krabs' anchor house. Clam is crowing like a rooster.
Mr. Krabs: *yawns* What a beautiful morning at the Krusty Krab *goes to the bathroom and takes shower*
Lord Master Lox: *goes to Mr. Krabs' house, then goes to the bathroom* Roger, Plankton. According to the desktop.
Inside the medicine cabinet, Plankton squeezes out of the toothpaste tube.
Plankton: Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! *talks through walkie-talkie* Fluoride to Desktop, I'm in a position to raise no suspicion, over.
Karen Plankton: *through walkie-talkie* Cut the poetry, Wordsworth. Did you get Krabs' hair sample yet?
Lord Master Lox: Yeah, Pearl what is it?
Pearl Master Lox: *through walkie-talkie* Did you get Mr. Krabs' hair?
Plankton: Keep your pants on, woman! I'm gonna steal his hair right out of his razor.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *chuckles*
Plankton: *grabs a razor and goes to take some hair*
Suddenly, Mr. Krabs opens the cabinet door.
Mr. Krabs: I'll just grab the razor here… *grabs Plankton*
Plankton: Wait! No! *gets dragged against Mr. Krabs' face with my teeth* Auugh! *spits out a hairball of Mr. Krabs' hair, then coughs* Ehhh! *rubs the hair off my tongue*
Mr. Krabs: *holds Plankton up to the shower head and fills his mouth up with water* Now for the rest of it. *uses Plankton to shave my back hair*
Lord Master Lox: Oh no, I think I gotta go.
Slide transition to Karen and Pearl reading a book while she's waiting for Master Lox and Plankton.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *comes in*
Karen Plankton: Well, if it isn't my thieving husband. So did you bring me the— *sees Plankton's mouth full of hair*
She picks it up and removes the hair from Plankton's mouth
Karen Plankton: Hair? *takes a sample of hair and throws the rest away* I only needed one.
Slide transition to Master Lox's Lair, Master Lox leaning on the glass of his machine.
Lord Master Lox: Hee-hee-hee! You married a genius, Pearl. Using the DNA of Mr. Krabs' hair, my DNA from my eyebrow and Plankton's own DNA from his antennae—
Master Lox's left eyebrow gets snipped off by Pearl.
Lord Master Lox: Ouch!
Plankton's right antenna gets snipped off by Karen.
Plankton: Ouch!
His antenna is placed in the machine.
Lord Master Lox: I will create a combo-clone of me, Plankton and Mr. Krabs to finally steal the secret formula! *pulls up the lever and cackles*
The machine turns itself on and fuses the hair sample, eyebrow sample and antenna sample together. The cloning machine turns on and creates a single being with Mr. Krabs, Master Lox and Plankton's DNA together. The being turns into a blob and the machine turns off.
Lord Master Lox: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Behold PlanKrab Lox!
The machine opens the door and the being steps out.
PlanKrab Lox: Heh-heh-heh.
The smoke clears to reveal the being. It appears to be a clone with Mr. Krabs' body and arms, Plankton's legs and Master Lox's head.
PlanKrab Lox: Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr!
Karen Plankton: How is this a good thing?
Lord Master Lox: Wake up, Karen! The Master Lox and Plankton side will know everything the Mr. Krabs side knows! It'll be easier than taking candy from a baby.
Pearl Master Lox: Mm, and we know how successful that was. Karen?
Karen Plankton: Okay, Pearl. *turns on the screen to show Plankton trying to steal a lollipop from a baby, but ends up getting sucked on*
Plankton: This is different! Isn't it, PlanKrab Lox, my pretty? Now, here's our plan.
PlanKrab Lox: Don't waste your breath, Plankteron. I already mapped out the perfect plot to swipe that formuler-ererer! *gives Plankton a high five before leaving for the Krusty Krab*
Plankton: Great! See you soon, P.K.L.! *sighs* I love that guy.
Lord Master Lox: I love that guy too. Well, half of him anyway.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *laughs*
Plankton: *coughs* Still got a hair in there.
Slide transition to Plankton waiting for PlanKrab Lox at the Krusty Krab.
Lord Master Lox: Where is PlanKrab Lox with the secret formula? It's been over three minutes already!
Plankton: *gets stepped on by Colonel Carper*
Lord Master Lox: Plankton?
Mr. Grouse: *steps on Plankton as well*
PlanKrab Lox: *walks to the door and notices Plankton on the ground*
He picks Plankton up.
Lord Master Lox: All right, Three-Face, what's the big idea? What have you been doing all this time?!
PlanKrab Lox: Oh, nothing much-erer. Just stealin' the formuler-erer… *shows Master Lox and Plankton the Krabby Patty formula*
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: Uh-whaaa? *our eyebrows falls off in surprise*
PlanKrab Lox: Taking over this restaurant-erer…
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Lincoln and Lori Loud: *happy and wears new hats* Hooray for PlanKrab Lox! He's the best boss ever!
PlanKrab Lox: And kicking Krabs out on his booty-erererer! *points to Mr. Krabs looking through the window in depression*
Lord Master Lox: B-b-but how?!
PlanKrab Lox: All it took, me hearty, was a hearty handshake. The world's persuasive handshake, that is! *holds my hand out* It's me latest creation. Put her there-erer, matey.
Lord Master Lox: An evil handshake. That's hands down the dumbest thing I ever—
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *puts our hands on PlanKrab Lox's hand*
Plankton: Huh?
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *feels tiny hands giving our hands nice, gentle massages and spa treatments*
Lord Master Lox: Oh. Ooh. Heh-heh, yeah.
Plankton: Oh, ooh, ahh, ahh.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: Yeah, yeah. Ahh! Yeah. Ohh-ho-ho! *lets go of PlanKrab Lox's hand*
Lord Master Lox: Oh, your handshake is exquisite! We'd believe anything you say.
PlanKrab Lox: *turns Master Lox and Plankton around* Then believe this, swabby. *steals Plankton's deed to the Chum Bucket* I'll also be commandeer-ering the Chum Bucket from now on.
Plankton: Ahh—ahh. Sounds great to me, P.K.L.
PlanKrab Lox: And I'm afraid your services are no longer required-ererered! *throws Master Lox and Plankton in the air*
Lord Master Lox: Gosh, we still can't get over this handshake.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *gets booted out of the Krusty Krab and is sent flying in Mr. Krabs' coffee mug*
Lord Master Lox: We're over it now.
Mr. Krabs: *gasps upon seeing Master Lox and Plankton in my mug* Master Lox and Plankton! *sets Plankton down* Some creepy one-eyed crab took me restaurant! *sobs really hard*
Plankton: Wait a minute. I think he took mine too!
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *sobs alongside Mr. Krabs*
Mr. Krabs: I-I-I don't know what happened. But that was some handshake of his, huh? I mean...hoo—hoo!
Lord Master Lox: Snap out of the handshake! It's a trick, Mr. Krabs! *slaps Mr. Krabs in the face* A dirty, beautiful trick!
Suddenly, a truck with a crane comes by. It implants something on the top of the Krusty Krab. The cover pulls itself up and reveals to be Master Lox's Lair. It implants something on the top of Master Lox's Lair. The cover pulls itself up and reveals to be the Chum Bucket. Only this time, it says Krusty Bucket Lair in place of the word, "Chum" and "Master Lox's." The sign opens to reveal the word, "The Krusty Bucket Lair."
Lord Master Lox, Plankton and Mr. Krabs: *screams in terror upon what we're seeing*
The scene changes to Mr. Krabs and Plankton eavesdropping on the Krusty Bucket Lair to see what PlanKrab Lox is doing.
Nat Peterson: *eats a patty* Say, this Krabby Patty tastes even better than usual. What's in it, SpongeBob and Lincoln?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, it's the same old patty.
Lincoln Loud: Except now each one has a pinch of chum added.
Lord Master Lox: Huh?
Plankton: A pinch of ch-ch-ch-chum?
PlanKrab Lox: *gives SpongeBob the soothing handshake* Good work, me boy-o.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *heavily breathes* Wow! *faints*
Mr. Krabs: Me boy-o?
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *sobs a rainfall of tears*
Storm clouds roll by and rains on the three depressed Mr. Krabs, Master Lox and Plankton.
Lord Master Lox: *sighs* There's only one way to get our restaurants back, Eugene.
Mr. Krabs: *gasps* You don't mean…
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: We gotta work together...!
The rain floods on Mr. Krabs, Master Lox and Plankton.
Plankton: *coughs* Hair.
Slide transition to PlanKrab Lox taking out the trash. He locks the back door and goes to get rid of some of the trash bags. But little did he know, Mr. Krabs, Master Lox and Plankton are hiding in the garbage can between the brick walls. They're planning to stage a surprise attack on PlanKrab Lox. They chuckle and give each other a high-five.
PlanKrab Lox: *comes to the garbage can in between the brick walls*
Lord Master Lox: Hey, what the…
A brawl is heard from between the brick walls. The fighting stops.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *comes out with the key*
They end up collapsing to the ground.
PlanKrab Lox: *comes out unscathed and takes the key*
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *growls angrily*
Slide transition back to the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: He may have taken our restaurants, but we'll take his customers!
Fred Record: *sees signs that says "The Krusty Bucket Lair" is closed and points to something else in another direction, then walks over to Mr. Krabs, Master Lox and Plankton's stand, then buys a patty, and leaves*
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *chuckles, thinking we've won*
PlanKrab Lox: *holds a drive-thru sign but points it to Master Lox, Plankton and Mr. Krabs* This way! Drive-thru! Literally.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *gets run over by a passing truck*
PlanKrab then heads back into the Krusty Krab.
Lord Master Lox: All right, all right! We can't go any lower, Eugene! Please make it stop!
Mr. Krabs: *picks Plankton up* It looks like there's only one way out of this one, James and Sheldon.
Plankton: Oh, no! You don't mean…
Mr. Krabs: Yeah. I'm afraid so.
Slide transition to Mr. Krabs and Plankton sitting in front of the Loud House. Lincoln is controlling the fan for PlanKrab Lox.
PlanKrab Lox: That'll be all for now, SpongeLincmatey.
Lincoln Loud: Oh, could I just have one more handshake, PlanKrab Lox?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Aye aye, Captain?
PlanKrab Lox: *chuckles* Sure as yer born. *gives SpongeBob and Lincoln the soothing handshake*
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: Ooh…. *melts and slithers back into the Loud House*
PlanKrab Lox: So you three scallywags want to work for me, eh?
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: I wanna be the manager! *growls angrily*
PlanKrab Lox: Well, you're guys in luck. It just so happens I'm looking for two new manager-erers…
Mr. Krabs: Ahh!
Plankton: Yeah!
Lord Master Lox: We're talking!
Slide transition to Mr. Krabs' House, Master Lox and Plankton are placing many Minecraft TNTs.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *places many Minecraft TNTs in Mr. Krabs' house*
Lord Master Lox: Are you ready, Plankton.
Plankton: Ready. 3. 2. 1. BOOM!
Minecraft TNT explodes with sound effect destroying Mr. Krabs' house.
Lord Master Lox: Yes, we did it!
Plankton: We destroyed Krabs' house!
Mr. Krabs comes home late one night after work.
Mr. Krabs: Ah, another successful day of cheating folks out of their money. *unlocks my front door* *steps inside, noticing that my house is gone, only with the front door still there* Me house! What happened! *starts crying*
Plankrab Lox: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs! Hand shake!
Plankton: *jumps on the scene* We destroyed it in search of the Krabby Patty formula.
Lord Master Lox: Good job, Plankton.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *high fives each other*
Mr. Krabs: *sobs* All of me possessions! All of me money! Ruined!!!!
Pearl Krabs: *stumbles out of a pile of debris* I'm still alive, Daddy. Don't worry.
Mr. Krabs: WHO CARES ABOUT YOU, PEARL! ME HOUSE WAS DESTROYED!!!
Pearl Krabs: It's my house too, ya know.
Mr. Krabs: Oh! That reminds me! I still have one less possession I can sell!
Pearl Krabs: Wait, don't tell me you're gonna sell me.
Scene cuts to Pearl tied up on a pirate ship.
Pirate: Argh! This young lady slave cost $500!
Pirate Captain: Argh! She was way too expensive!
First Mate: Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Lord Master Lox: Yeah, his house was destroyed!
Plankton: But, I didn't do anything! *coughs* Hair!
Scene cuts back to the Krusty Krab in the bathroom, Mr. Krabs holding a bag of money while Master Lox and Plankton plunging the toilet.
Mr. Krabs: I sold me last possession, me daughter Pearl. But $500 still isn't enough to get a new house! *starts sobbing*
Plankton: Calm down, Krabs, we'll figure something else. You can stay with me in the Chum Bucket.
Lord Master Lox: What about my fortress? 
Mr. Krabs: Noever I'll live here in the Krusty Krab!
Plankton: Kinda destroyed that too....
Lord Master Lox: This place sucks!
Mr. Krabs: This is all your fault, Master Lox. I'll kill you into pieces.
Lord Master Lox: Wait, how about this. *smashes Mr. Krabs with a coffee maker*
Plankton: Get him, Master Lox!
Mr. Krabs: *punches Master Lox and Plankton* THAT'S FOR RUINING ME.
Lord Master Lox: *electrocutes Mr. Krabs with lightning with my hands*
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *fights each other with fight cloud*
Builderman: Guys, stop! I'm trying to build!
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *continues to fight each other with fight cloud and attacks Builderman*
Cuts to the restaurant.
Squidward Tentacles: Hang on, just a sec.
Builderman: Squidward, they're fighting each other.
Squidward Tentacles: What?!
Builderman: *sobs and runs away*
Cuts back to the bathroom.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *keeps fighting each other*
Plankrab Lox: Alright, who did this?!
Lord Master Lox: *points to Mr. Krabs* He did.
Mr. Krabs: *points to Master Lox* No, he did.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *points at each other* No, he did. No, he did. No, he did. No, he did.
PlanKrab Lox: *looks at them, then splits into three*
Black PlanKrab Lox: Get off me, Master Lox!
Green PlanKrab Lox: It was obviously Mr. Krabs' fault!
Red PlanKrab Lox: Yeah.
Black PlanKrab Lox: Why signing with Master Lox.
Red PlanKrab Lox: And why signing with Krabs.
Green PlanKrab Lox: And why signing with Plankton.
Lord Master Lox: They're arguing.
Plankton: Me either.
Mr. Krabs: And splitting up.
Black, Red and Green PlanKrab Lox: Stop hitting meself/myself, I'm sick of you/I don't care!
Plankton: Well, you could become a hobo.
Mr. Krabs: Why would I wanna become a hobo?
Lord Master Lox: Hobos are awesome! In fact, I know a guy who can help you.
Mr. Krabs: Who????
Plankton: Those Plankrab Lox, they're fighting each other!
Black, Red and Green PlanKrab Lox: *continuously hitting each other* I can't stop hitting myself, because I'm torn!
Special Robloxian Cashier: *whistles* Stop fighting, Plankrab Loxes!
Black, Red and Green PlanKrab Lox: *stops fighting* Huh?!
Special Robloxian Cashier: *zips to Mr. Krabs* Hi!
Mr. Krabs: A human in Bikini Bottom?
Plankton: Yep, he's one of the few.
Lord Master Lox: Maybe, just a few.
Special Robloxian Cashier: I can teach you everything about life as a hobo!
Mr. Krabs: Why do they call you special steve?
Special Robloxian Cashier: *barfs out a unicorn* A mango!!! My favorite vegetable!!! *shoves the unicorn up my nostril*
Mr. Krabs: Whoa.....you are.......
Special Robloxian Cashier: Special?
Mr. Krabs: Very.
Special Robloxian Cashier: Well, let's goooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!
Slide transition to Steve and Krabs in a dark alley. He is talking to Plankrab Loxes.
Mr. Krabs: want a clean fight. No rough stuff. Go back to your corners when the bell rings and come out fighting.
Lord Master Lox: But first, you gotta shake hands.
Black PlanKrab Lox: Well, fine.
Black, Red and Green PlanKrab Lox: *gives each a handshake*
And, at the same time, they end up getting the same massage and spa treatment that the original PlanKrab Lox gave out earlier.
Black PlanKrab Lox: *chuckles warmly*
Green PlanKrab Lox: Wow, this is a great handshake.
Red PlanKrab Lox: Yeah.
Black, Red and Green PlanKrab Lox: *melt into puddles on the floor, leaving nothing but our severed hands*
Steve from Minecraft: In the hood, you need to establish dominance by proving you're top dog!
Mr. Krabs: I'm watching.
Steve from Minecraft: *walks up to a giant rough-looking fish* Hey, you! You think you're so tough!
Rough Fish: *grunts*
Steve from Minecraft: Well you're not! You're going down!
Rough Fish: *pounds Steve's face into the ground*
Mr. Krabs: You seem to be losing, Steve.
Slide transition to Steve and Krabs in front of a line of trash cans.
Steve from Minecraft: Now I'm going to teach you how to eat well in the hood!
Mr. Krabs: Looks delicious.
Steve from Minecraft: *reaches into a garbage can* Let's see what we got here. Oh! A delicious sock! And a hunk of moldy meatloaf! Score!
Steve from Minecraft: Ridin' the rails!
Mr. Krabs: *gulps*
Slide transition to Krabs and Steve standing beside a railroad track.
Steve from Minecraft: All we have to do is wait for the train to pass, and we hop inside of it!
Mr. Krabs: What's the point of this?
Steve from Minecraft: Cuz that's what hobos do!
Mr. Krabs: I don't like being a hobo.
Steve from Minecraft: It's a way of life, Krabs. You'll warm up to it eventually. Shhh, the train's coming!
Lord Master Lox: It's the train.
Plankton: Train? So soon?
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *laughs heartily*
Mr. Krabs: Oh, you. *laughs*
Lord Master Lox: Plankton, hair?
Plankton: *coughs* Hair.
Mr. Krabs: Here, me bucko. Let me get that for ya. *steps on Plankton to cough out a hairball*
Hairball: *chuckles* Freedom!
*It says "THE END" Episode ends*
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