Boys Blowin' Up Our Phones

==Season Fourteen Season Premiere==
Followed By: Season Fourteen, Episode Two: Solo Missions Are a Privilege
Introducing: Icania Vandril, Rostan, Tamiko
==Summary==
: Leilah Maloch works fast. As soon as Orcus's death throes are finished, the party is healed and safely back on the Swiftest Thought. A great purple cloud of energy starts to blossom from the pit as the autopilot races away. It becomes a magical shockwave, and the ship kicks into high speed.
: The Thought is a quick little ship, and soon Orcus's pit is a mere speck in the distance. Leilah and Ashra discuss where to head next. Leilah proposes Voltagassy as a safe place, and Ashra agrees. The ship loops around to approach the city from the south.
: During the journey, the party identifies and distributes Orcus's treasure. Cicero gets most of the good stuff. The party also makes plans for what they will purchase in the next decent market they reach.
: At Voltagassy, an inquisitor signals for the party to land. This isn't a very comfortable process for the Thought, but they get it safely onto the ground. Ashra asks Prince Avimeus to handle customs; he sticks Cicero Tiberius Shadolan with the job. Cicero negotiates with the inquisitor, who wants a rather high docking fee. He reserves the spot for several days.
: First the party gets its shopping done, then everyone regroups on the Thought. Equipment is still a problem -- in Leilah's view, a very large problem indeed -- but so is personnel. Aether is taking stepmaternity leave to care for Hemera the Loved, and Semna wants to remain with the party only on retainer, no longer taking an active role in combat. Avi similarly is not inclined to fight with the party at the moment. This reduces the active party to Ashra, Leilah, and Cicero, a rather small group to brave the hordes of hell.
: A partial answer to this problem knocks on the hull of the Thought. Leilah pops her head out of a window and screams at the newcomer not to dent their precious ship; does he know how much it costs?!
: She finds herself yelling at a golem made of adamantium covered with glowing runes. He explains that he is looking for Semna Ashtad, and introduces himself as Icania Vandril. Semna goes down to meet him.
: The two recognize each other immediately from their school days. After formalities are exchanged, he explains that he just got back from a pocket plane near Mechanus, where he was building a golem army for Grax. He now needs a lawyer to avoid the repercussions of being associated with Grax; as he had been in a slightly different timestream, he missed all of the Revolution of 1441 and was too blinded by science to realize what the army was for.
: Semna telepathically calls Ashra over; she invites Kanye (as she immediately dubs him, just as Grax did) onto the Thought. He explains his story to her, adding that even Grax is angry at him now. The army he was building was headed by four progenitors, each of which had a quarter of consciousness and a quarter of the ability to make new golems. Together they made golems one log scale weaker than they, and so on, creating a race of evolving golems. He was supposed to make a single great general for the army which would pull all the golems together into a hive mind, but he instead blew up his forge and crafted himself armor. This wasn't entirely intentional; the forge was going to explode due to the interference of a friend of his, and he had to channel the energy into something. The friend in question, Ollie McOxen the Free, was destroyed by the explosion and now exists as a small black puzzle cube called Time Cube. Time Cube greets Ashra by bouncing a cast of Guidance off of her spell resistance.
: Kanye's resume is impressive enough for Ashra to offer him a position with the company, which he accepts. She passes him over to Leilah for evaluation. Leilah tells him to run thirty laps around the ship and then tell her everything he can about how it works and how it could be improved. He jogs around, up, and over the ship. He tries casting Identify, which Leilah counterspells; she tells him she wants to know what he knows, not what he can divine. When he finishes the laps he explains the basic mechanisms of the ship, as well as several possible modifications he could probably perform.
: Kanye asks after Ethan, and Ashra tells him Ethan became a god. She invites him to join her in her prayers to him that night.
: Leilah's Detect Scrying goes off, and she looks up at a gaunt, feminine elven man in full clerical robes and platinum armor. He wears a symbol of Saint Cuthbert, and she detects that he is in the third circle of Nyasa City. She recognizes him as Albert Greenwood, high cleric of Cuthbert. He demands to know why Leilah and her companions fled the scene of Orcas's defeat. He then asks to speak to her party's leader. She gives a long introduction before handing him over to Ashra. He recognizes her at sight and asks why there are two of her. She explains that it's a time travel thing, flailing a bit with the Common words to describe what happened. He mentions he just got out of a very awkward situation when Leilah gets another ping on the Detect Scrying.
: This one is cast by Barron Ganth, probably the real one. He asks to speak to someone who isn't a cleric, and Ashra greets him. He also wants to know why they fled. Leilah mentions that Greenwood is also scrying, and he immediately breaks the connection.
: Greenwood continues the explanation. Apparently, he felt Orcus's death and immediately teleported onto the scene. Just as he was getting his bearings, Ganth teleported in and held a sword to his throat. Then the inquisitors showed up and started buffing. Then Tyro and Poetry (recognizable instantly by their descriptions) showed up and started taking aim at the inquisitors. Then the neogi mindspider arrived ...
: It's pretty obvious why the party fled the scene, really. Perhaps the Foresight has some residual effects.
: Greenwood wants to talk to Ashra in person. He says he'll Wind Walk to Voltagassy and meet the party there. The Inquisition will want to talk to them too, but they have to make sure they talk to Greenwood first so that he can call them off. The party agrees to this, and Greenwood closes the scry.
: Kanye shows Ashra a mysterious amulet and asks if she or Leilah can identify it. Ashra doesn't need any spells to tell him this is an Amulet, though not one that the party has seen before. It does not have any visible writing beyond the note shoved inside it. She tells him to keep it hidden and safe, and not to try to use it.
: He says that makes sense, since he was able to blow up the forge. When he describes his forge in more detail, it becomes clear that by "place of great power" he means "motherfucking Frozen Fate". And he blew it up. Well, at least we know he's insane enough to be a proper party member.
: Kanye introduces himself to Avimeus and asks for permission to improve the ship. Avi grants it on the condition that he not try to improve it while in the air. Kanye agrees, and sets to work.
: Ashra asks Cicero to go into town and look for any promising new party members, since the company is still down a rogue. Cicero agrees.
: He goes off into the forest alone with the Hand of Vecna and builds a secret shrine. He thanks Vecna for all his help, and offers up the Hand in gratitude.
: There is a moment of divinity ... and what happens next is known only to Cicero, Vecna, and Leilah, who was scrying on him at the time.
: One divine experience later, Cicero finally goes drinking. He goes to an Underdark bar called The Beheaded Chicken. It's a rough place, full of ruffians, mercenaries, and goblins. He sits down and orders three beers. Then he takes a piece of chalk and draws a circle around himself. He holds up the beers. "This one's for me," he says, "this one's for the one who can take it from me without crossing the line, and this one's for the fucker who dares to cross the line."
: A goblin runs up, makes a grab for the beer, and flies across the room after a well-placed kick by Cicero. Cicero laughs, then notices he's only holding two beers.
: A man in the white hood of the southern assassins sits in the corner, sipping Cicero's beer. He offers a toast. Cicero drains the mug and asks the stranger to come with him. On the way out, he hands the goblin a beer and tips the bartender.
: The stranger's name is Rostan, and he is an assassin who targets corrupt religious figures. He is currently looking for work. Cicero invites him back to the ship to interview with the company.
: As the two are walking back, a door opens and a bone flies out at them. Rostan and Cicero dodge, and it smacks into the opposite wall. A beautiful woman with ram horns steps out of the doorway and demands to know where and when she is. Cicero answers her, and she magically breaks the chain on his symbol of Vecna. It falls into his pants; as he reels from the pain, she grabs the symbol and makes an Arcane Mark with the symbol "False God". She introduces herself as the Iconoclast. Cicero invites her to return to the ship, and she joins the group.
: The three make their way back to the Thought, where Leilah and Ashra interview and scan the newcomers.
: Rostan grew up on the streets of Nyasa and never took kindly to the corruption in the priesthood. He considers his greatest triumph to be the castration of a pedophilic priest, but he is best known for opposing his archenemy, Haveo Gloriosa.
: The Iconoclast's name is Tamiko. She has an invisible pseudodragon familiar and an intelligent Mirror of True Seeing, though her own mind is shielded. She has a divine link to Olidammara. She is willing to let be the holy and unholy symbols of the party; she claims her only enemies are false gods. She has particularly offended Duplicitous, Kord, and Tiamat, which Ashra considers to be a pretty good list. She has characteristics of so many different peoples they can't identify her origins.
: Ashra shows that she also has a mirror; the two chat briefly about the Hall of Many Things. Tamiko spent years there before eventually being personally escorted out by Olidammara himself. She looks around in her mirror; when she looks at The Dark Lantern, her mirror whispers "Ask about the end of the world."
: Ashra explains about the party's mission to prevent the end of the world from recurring.
: Leilah's Detect Scrying pings again. This time it's an inquisitor, face covered by cloth, staring into a dark puzzle. She pretends not to have noticed him. Ganth calls again, asks to speak to Ashra, and Leilah asks him to acknowledge her existence first. Ganth signs off, and the party hears the march of boots outside the ship.
: A squadron of Inquisitors is advancing on the ship. Leilah commands the ship to take off. Everyone is slammed to the ground as the ship soars into the sky. Kanye finished his first modification, a way of binding the ship's captive air elemental through the whole ship rather than just the engine. It is faster, but it is also very, very uncomfortable. Tamiko's pseudodragon and Leilah's chicken are blown against the side of the ship; everyone else clings to the floor.
: The party discusses where to go next. Nyasa's Reach is a possibility. Ashra wanted to talk to Greenwood and thinks that if they don't go too far, they'll get back into contact with him. There is a placid lake a few days out where Kanye can disable his new modification so that the journey goes a little smoother. Leilah wants to go to Benin Falls, where her mother can shield the party. The others eventually agree, and Leilah lays in a course that takes them along the mountains, across the Nubian Sea, then down to Benin Falls.
: Ashra's speakstone rings. It's Tyro calling; after a few formalities about hats and how awesome the Thought's contrails look right now, he makes her an offer. He thinks she has a candle from Orcas's loot, and will pay her 70,000 GP for it. She refuses to admit she doesn't have it, and he leaves the offer standing, then hangs up.
: The Thought reaches the lake, and Kanye turns off the turbo. Eventually he'll be able to make it controllable with a button press, but that'll take more time and labor.
: The party sets off again. Ashra and Rostan are sickened by the altitude. Leilah scries on Greenwood. He's in a large hotel room, talking to an inquisitor. He seems to be speaking about the party. He says "They'll appear when they want to. They avoid fame ... if they don't want to be found they won't be found."
: She tries to get Ganth to call, hoping to be able to transfer the scry over to Ashra, but he doesn't call her back. There is radio silence for a while. They pass over the Haverstad River and the aboleth den without incident. This time Matria is nowhere to be seen.
: Finally the party reaches Benin Falls. She is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Leilah steers the ship into the waterfall and parks neatly behind her mother's curtain. Everyone but Leilah is thoroughly soaked; Time Cube prestidigitates them dry.
: Hannibal Maloch greets the party in person. He asks Leilah what's going on, and the two exchange news. He says there is a new proscription on Tanaki's Wall for all the members of the Gloriosa Family, alleging that they stole the Binder's Rod. This is a powerful magical item that takes the place of a binder's candle in a demon binding ritual, allowing the caster to force a demon into a favorable bargain. Hannibal and Anahita will offer the party shelter and concealment as long as they can. Anahita will also allow the party to use her viewing pool; after meditating on something for an hour before it, it will show the viewer images of what they need to see.
: Kanye wants to talk to his parents; Ashra offers him the use of her speakstone. He calls his father. His father tells him it's been a decade since he's been in contact. He's very disturbed to think Icania is getting involved with the Gloriosas, and warns him away from them and, strangely, from Benin Falls. He invites him back to Barrensburg. He recognizes Ashra in the background of the call, though she's never seen him before in her memory. Kanye says goodbye and hangs up.
: Leilah is the first to meditate on the reflection pool. She thinks about the motives of the Gloriosa family. She sees a vision of a brand on pale skin. It is a demon brand with the word "FURCAS", the symbol that would appear if someone made a pact with Furcas. Leilah copies down the symbol.
: Ashra takes a turn after Leilah, meditating on the words "Welcome home." She sees a vision of her mother, the Baldur Mother Brain, in an underground pool near what looks like Mind's Touch. The Mother appears supercharged with energy, glowing through all her folds and crackling off her waving tentacles. She receives the words, We care little for human affairs, but in divine effort comes all the risk.
: Kanye takes a turn after Ashra. He thinks of his Amulet and the events years ago. The pool fails to show him anything, and he eventually gives up. Leilah and Ashra suspect it's because he is no longer living, and fueled by negative energy.
: Tamiko meditates on what she should be doing and where she should be. She sees an odd dark structure made of swirling lattices. There is an entryway held up by pillars, rising up into the top filled with something like a starscape. The background has something like smoke or vegetation. Laguna waxes in one corner. There is the faint shape of a skull. She receives the words, Bring justice to those who flee the moon.
: There are also the words Is it the end of all things or the beginning of the great war?
: When told about the Awakening, Tamiko points out that the massive natural disasters probably resulted from the artificial triple eclipse. Ashra suggests that the collapse of the planes might have been caused by setting off a Fate in the intersections between planes.
: The next time the party has dinner with Hannibal, he tells them that there is now a massive manhunt for the Gloriosas, and that even apparently legitimate members of the family have disappeared.
: Ashra asks Leilah to scry on Zaphodel. Her first attempt leaves her with a handkerchief of powerfully psychoactive mushrooms, which she stores for future use before repeating the spell. Zaphodel is not found.
: Cicero meditates on where the Gloriosas might hide. He sees a vision of the gates of hell, with a demon, graves, and shining engraved doors. A single figure stands in the sinister light which pours out from behind the doors. He receives the words, The Gates of Hell.
: Ashra meditates again, this time on the overlaps between planes. She sees The Dark Tower, a spot north of Landinis, a giant pit in the basement of Pyotar Umarov's temple, a gate on the Southern Continent, the mountains of Wroth's End, the icy plains of Point North, and a small plain building in southern Baldur. Then her mind overloads as she sees every place at once.
: Hannibal arrives with news: some men in white assassin robes have been poking around the town asking for the party. They are looking specifically for Ashra Puzzlesolver, but also Leilah Maloch and Icania Vandril. They have a strange skin color, not quite native but not so pale as Leilah. Their bright red swords glow through their sheaths. They have an unpleasant presence.
: Anahita and Hannibal will continue to shield the party, but they should probably move on before too long to avoid bringing undue attention on them. Leilah's Detect Scrying hasn't pinged; Anahita says she has blocked one scrying attempt at nine AM. The party decides to stay a little longer in order to decide where to go. Hannibal says he'll send the strange men into the jungle. Kanye offers his parents' house as an alternate place to hide out.
: Tamiko meditates again and receives the message The ones who flee the moon are binders.
: Leilah meditates on the binders and the Awakening. She sees several candles lined up in a row, one of them large, bright red, and without dripping wax. She sees red hot brands with the design of Farcus. She briefly sees a huge legion of demons.
: The party has a lot of work to do.