MALLARD LANE

Hello Kiddies.  I'm just playing a QUARTER-HACK for this game of SEVERED-FOOTBALL Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha.  I wanted to be a FEARLEADER, but decided I wanted to help SLAY instead.  During the game, why don't you all check out this HALFTIME-HORROR, about a hockey-player, who gets DOWN AND DIRTY WITH THE COMPETITION...
It rained on Mallard Lane out, in Woodsbury, Washington, on an afternoon in 1971.  Inside a house, two hippie teenage girls were in the living-room.  "Crimson And Clover" By Tommy James And The Shondells played on a record on a record-player in the room.  "This song's pretty trippy isn't it, Sarah?" one girl asked the other, as they sat on the couch, smoking cigarettes.  "Yeah it is groovy Melissa" Sarah agreed.  Melissa got up and looked out the window.  "It's still raining out there" she said.  "It's supposed to all day and tonight" Sarah said. That night, the hippies walked upstairs together, into a bedroom with two beds in it.  They each took one.  "Didn't you tell me there was supposed to be like a guy who was a hockey-player who was murdered in our apartment-house here?" Melissa asked Sarah.  "Yeah, he rented the place before we did after we graduated and was killed by his crazy Girlfriend" she answered.  In the night, the dirt-floor moved down in the basement and a hole formed. The basement-door opened in the darkness.  As the hippies slept, Sarah awoke, feeling some dirt on her cheek.  She found a dirty-zombie with decomposed-flesh staring down at her.  The corpse wore an old hockey-mask and had his ribcage showing through his rotting, white-uniform.  She screamed in terror, waking Melissa.  "NO, I MURDERED YOU!!!" Sarah screamed at the zombie, as it put a hatchet in her chest in the dark, killing her.  Melissa trembled in bed, sitting up, speechless.  The zombie glanced her way, removing its hockey-mask.  It grinned at Melissa, with a face composed of rotten-flesh of pale-white, worms crawling over it and two empty-eye sockets.  Its hair was blonde and matted, with more worms writhing around in it.  The zombie put back on the mask and walked downstairs, slumped and dead.  Melissa ran to the bannister of the stairs, seeing it go out the front door and into the rain.  
That zombie was quite a HOCKEY-SLAYER wasn't he kiddies?  But poor Sarah got CUT FROM THE SCREAM ha-ha-ha-ha!  We GORED 10 to 5 in our game.  But I admit kiddies, I was distracted once, by a SHRIEKER running across the field hee-hee!