Hole in My Soul

Hole in My Soul is the fifth episode of the first season of Patrick in Kelp City and the 5th episode overall. It was written by , and directed by , and aired on May 16th, 2020 on Canary TV.
==Transcript==
[We open with Patrick lounging on the couch listening to the Kelp City radio as he stuffs his face with a sharing pack of chips.]
Announcer: Topping the charts again, it's "I Wrote This Too" by Patrick Star!
[Patrick's song starts playing.]
Patrick: Man, I envy whoever sings that song.
[SpongeBob enters with his work hat on.]
SpongeBob: But, Patrick you sing that song!
Patrick: Oh yeah. You wanna join me in doing nothing all day, Sponge?
SpongeBob: Sorry Patrick, I gotta take the train to work.
Patrick: Screw you, lousy capitalist society!
SpongeBob: (to Gary) Bye, Gare-bear, I'll see you soon. 
Gary: Meow.
Patrick: Bye, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Bye!
[SpongeBob exits the apartment.]
Patrick: (throwing the empty bag of chips on the floor) Those chips really hit the spot!
[His stomach growls.]
Patrick: But my tummy's still hungry! 
[A lightbulb appears over his head.]
Patrick: I know! I'll get a Krabby Patty!
[He goes outside and looks around.]
Patrick: Hmm… if I was a Krabby Patty where would I hide?
[A mailman walks by.]
Patrick: Greetings, native taxpayer! Do you know where I could find The Krusty Krab?
Mailman: The Krusty Krab? Is that a new videogame or something?
Patrick: No, The Krusty Krab! You know, it's the most popular restaurant in all of Bikini Bottom! With Squidward, and SpongeBob and the big sweaty red guy!
[Pause.]
Mailman: Sir, this is New Kelp. We don't have a Krusty Krab.
[Patrick looks at the mailman walking off in shock.]
Patrick: What the- no Krusty Krab? But that means- NO KRABBY PATTIES!
[Patrick screams. Gary approaches him.]
Gary: Meow 
Patrick: Huh? Oh, you're our lodger or something, right?
Gary: (rolls eyes) Meow.
Patrick: Well, you'll never guess this but I've just heard terrible news! There are no Krabby Patties in New Kelp!
[Pause.]
Patrick: Gee, you really don't talk much do you?
Gary: Meow.
Patrick: What's that?
Gary: Meow.
Patrick: You think I should try and find a new favourite food?
Gary: Meow.
Patrick: Well, alright then! Don't worry tummy, I'm gonna find you something even better than a Krabby Patty. To infinity and, uh, the other place!
[Patrick runs off.]
Gary: (to the audience) I hate it when people patronise me.
[Bubble transition to Patrick entering a cheap family-run burger joint.]
Cashier: Welcome to Bobby's Burgers, how may I help you?
Patrick: Yeah, I'd like the tastiest thing on the menu!
Cashier: Well, alright then! (yelling) TINA!!!
Tina: (off-screen) WHAT?!
Cashier: ONE BOBBY DELUXE TO EAT IN!
Tina: (off-screen) OKAY!!!
[The cashier hands Patrick a table buzzer.]
Cashier: This'll let you know when your order is ready.
Patrick: Oh boy!
[Carl enters.]
Carl: Hey, Pat! Fancy seeing you here!
Patrick: (gasps) It's the landlord!
[Patrick gets down on his knees and starts praying.]
Carl: (laughs) No need for that, silly!
Patrick: (gets up) Oh. So, uh, what you doing here?
Carl: I come here all the time.
Cashier: If it isn't our regular Carl! You want the usual?
Carl: You bet!
[A bell rings.]
Tina: (off-screen) ONE BOBBY DELUXE!
[Patrick's buzzer vibrates and the cashier takes it from him, before handing him his burger.]
Cashier: Here you go.
Patrick: Thanks!
[The cashier goes into the kitchen as Patrick takes a bite of his food.]
Patrick: (sad) The Krusty Krab does better patties.
Carl: The Krusty Krab? Is like some sci-fi film.
Patrick: (sad) No, it's the best restaurant in the whole ocean. And now it's too far away to go to.
Carl: Well, I'm sorry abou-
Patrick: (walking out the door) Oh well. I guess I'll just try to find something else to fill the void. Bye, Carl!
[Patrick runs off and the cashier returns with the bill.]
Carl: Tartar sauce!
[Bubble transition to Patrick entering a commercial fast food chain.]
Patrick: Hey, do you do any good burgers?
[Pause.]
Cashier: (unenthusiastically) Yes.
Patrick: Great! I'll take-
[The cashier hands him one.]
Patrick: Wow! That was fast!
[He takes a bite and throws the rest on the floor.]
Patrick: This tastes like slop! What did you put in this mess?!
Cashier: You'd be surprised. That'll be-
[Patrick runs out.]
Cashier: (sighs, muttering) You gotta save up for college somehow…
[Cut to Patrick walking into an old-fashioned American diner. He sits at the counter.]
Patrick: Hi, could I have just a normal burger or something?
Cashier: Sure, thing! I've been saving this for someone like you.
[Patrick is handed a burger.]
Patrick: Thanks!
[He takes a bite.]
Cashier: I'll take three dol-
[Patrick walks out looking sad.]
Cashier: Well I'll be darned.
[Cut to Patrick at a food truck.]
Cashier: G'day mate! What could I get for ya?
Patrick: (sad) One of your finest patties, please.
Cashier: Anything for a dag like you!
[He finishes making a burger and gives it to Patrick, who takes a bite.]
Patrick: (sighs) It's just not the same.
Cashier: What do you mean?
Patrick: I've been going around the city all day looking for a burger as good as the ones they do back at home, but nothing is the same. And I'm usually the type of guy to eat anything!
Cashier: Well, pal, change is inevitable. And we just have to accept that. We can't go around for the rest of our lives expecting everything to stay the same! What a boring world that would be.
[Pause.]
Patrick: Sounds a bit clich-
Cashier: I know, I know.
Patrick: Do you like serve anything else?
Cashier: We do some ace hot dogs. The locals love them!
[Pan over to several customers sitting on a wooden park bench enjoying hot dogs.]
Patrick: Huh, I might give them a try.
[The cashier passes him a hot dog. Patrick tries it.]
Patrick: Mmm… this is quite good actually! Say, I like these hot dogs! I do! I like them, whoever you are! And I would eat them in a boat! And I would eat them with a goat! And anyone else! These might even be better than Krabby Patties!
Cashier: (laughs) Well I'm glad you like them, boyo.
Patrick: I'll take all the hot dogs you have!
[Dollar signs appear in the cashier's eyes as we see a bubble transition to the same scenario at the beginning of the episode. SpongeBob enters the house. Happy to see him, Gary races over and starts licking him.]
SpongeBob: Oh, gare-bear, stop it, that tickles! (laughs)
[SpongeBob approaches Patrick, who is lounging on the couch as before, but this time he's munching on loads of hot dogs.]
SpongeBob: I'm back, Patrick! Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?
Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob! You have got to try these hot dogs! They're even better than Krabby Patties!
SpongeBob: (sad) Oh… so, uh… (he holds out a paper bag with a Krabby Patty in) you won't want this Krabby Patty I've been saving for you?
[Patrick suddenly drops all the hot dogs. Love hearts appear in his eyes.]
Patrick: Holy fishpaste! 
[Patrick snatches the Krabby Patty and swallows it whole, including the bag. He burps.]
Patrick: Oh, sweet Krabby Patties! Boy have I missed you!
[The two laugh as the episode fades to black.]
Patrick: What's so funny?
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