Patrick Star in the Multiverse of Madness

A spiritual successor to The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star, Patrick and his friends have to stop an interdimensional rift from destroying everything.
== Act I ==
(Patrick is eating breakfast with his parents and sister Squidina in the Star family house.)
Patrick's dad: It's so great to have you here on time for once, Patrick.
Patrick's mom: Yes, you're becoming more of a man every day, son.
Patrick: (with his mouth full) These pancakes are delicious!
Patrick's dad: Some of your best work, Bunny.
Patrick's mom: I love to hear it, Cecil.
Patrick: Bunny? Cecil?
(Patrick swallows the rest of his pancakes then points his fork at his "parents".)
Patrick: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
(Cecil and Bunny hug each other.)
Bunny: Cecil, I'm scared.
(Suddenly, another Patrick walks down the stairs.)
Patrick 2: Sorry I'm late for breakfast again!
Patrick: Who's that handsome fella?
(Cecil faints in Bunny's arms.)
Squidina: Holy fish paste! There's two of you!
Patrick 2: What are you talking about, Squidina? He looks nothing like me!
Patrick: Yeah, I don't wear a shirt!
Squidina: There's only one logical explanation for this: an interdimensional rift must have taken a version of my brother from a parallel universe and sent him here!
Patrick and Patrick 2: Huh?
Squidina: I need to find Sandy! She'll understand this a lot better!
(GrandPat walks into the kitchen.)
GrandPat: What's all the commotion about?
(GrandPat notices the second Patrick.)
GrandPat: Oh, heck no! I'm way too old for these multiverse shenanigans! Wake me up when this is over!
(GrandPat leaves. SpongeBob walks into the house moments later.)
SpongeBob: Hello, Patrick and...Patrick? Oh, Neptune! How long have you had a twin?
(Squidina facepalms.)
Squidina: He doesn't have a twin, SpongeBob. The second Patrick is from another universe.
SpongeBob: Oh! Like that issue of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy where they have to team up with their Silver Age counterparts to take down the Abominable Eight!
Squidina: Yeah...something like that. Anyway, we need to talk to Sandy to figure out a way to send them back. Think dad will be okay, mom?
Bunny: Oh, yeah! He just needs a few minutes of rest. You kids go along.
(SpongeBob, Squidina, and the Patricks leave the house, and they notice a large red hole in the sky sucking up everything that comes near it.)
Patrick: Hey! There was something like that over my rock! I thought it was a bagel, and when I touched it, it brought me here!
Squidina: You thought that was a bagel?
Patrick: A big, scary bagel, but the big, scary things are usually the tastiest!
Patrick 2: This guy knows his stuff!
Squidina: Come on. We're almost at the treedome.
(The four walk into Sandy's treedome to find Sandy working on an invention.)
Squidina: Hi, Sandy! Whatcha doing?
Sandy: I'm building a machine that will cure my eyesight so I no longer have to wear these blasted things!
(Sandy pushes up her glasses and turns around. She gasps when she sees the two Patricks with SpongeBob and Squidina.)
Sandy: How was this done? Cloning?
Squidina: No! That second Patrick came from a parallel universe!
Sandy: I can't believe this. Parallel universes have only existed in theory until now. Patrick of all people being the first to discover one is very surprising.
Patrick 2: And why is that?
Sandy: Because you're an idiot.
Patrick 2: (nods) Fair.
Sandy: I have to study this further. We must dissect this second Patrick.
(Patrick shivers.)
Squidina: Instead of doing that, can we just send him to his old universe?
Sandy: (sighs) Fine. How did he get here?
Squidina: Through that rift in the sky.
(Sandy leaves her treedome with the others and looks at the hole in the sky with intrigue.)
Sandy: I'll need to do some experiments first, but getting Patrick back home may be as simple as putting him in that rift.
(Sandy takes an acorn out from under her suit.)
Sandy: This acorn has a tracker in it. After throwing it through that rift, I'll know everything about where it ends up.
(Sandy throws the acorn as hard as she can through the hole. She then takes a device out and reads the findings on it.)
Sandy: This is strange. It detects...a third dimension.
(Suddenly, a CGI-animated Patrick falls from the hole and lands in front of Sandy, SpongeBob, Squidina, and the Patricks.)
Squidina: What the?
(Patrick 2 vomits.)
SpongeBob: No! Not my new shoes!
Patrick 3: Where am I? Why is everything flat? (rubs head) And who threw that acorn at me?
Sandy: I'll answer that and more! But first...let's get everybody in the treedome before we spook any passersby the same way was just spooked Patrick.
Patrick, Patrick 2, and Patrick 3: Which one?
Sandy: This...will take some getting used to.
(End of Act I)
== Act II ==
(Lego versions of SpongeBob and Patrick are working at a construction site in the city of Brickini Bottom.)
Lego Patrick: (sighs) This job is so exhausting, SpongeBob!
Lego SpongeBob: I know, but when we're finally good enough to become Master Builders, it will all be worth it!
(Suddenly, a giant hole appears in the sky above them.)
Lego Patrick: What's that?
Lego SpongeBob: Don't touch it, Patrick!
(Lego Patrick's eyes sparkle as he stares at the hole in the sky.)
Lego Patrick: But it's...so captivating.
(Lego Patrick grabs Lego bricks from the construction site and uses them to build a staircase.)
Lego SpongeBob: Patrick, no!
(Lego Patrick reaches for the hole in the sky from the top of his staircase, and within seconds, he's sucked in.)
Lego SpongeBob: Patrick!
(In the Patrick Star Show universe, Patrick, PSS Patrick, and CGI Patrick are in Sandy's treedome with SpongeBob, Sandy, and Squidina.)
Sandy: So wait, you're telling me that you met your Sandy at summer camp when you were a kid?
CGI Patrick: Yeah!
Sandy: And Treedome Enterprises was willing to send a critter that young underwater?
CGI Patrick: I have no idea!
Sandy: (scratches chin) Interesting.
(Suddenly, Lego Patrick falls out of the hole in the sky and lands right in front of the treedome.)
Squidina: Another Patrick!
Sandy: How many of y'all are out there?
(In a darker version of Bikini Bottom from a different universe, a hyper-realistic Patrick walks past many failing buildings until he sees one with a number on its door that he recognizes.)
Realistic Patrick: Here it is.
(Realistic Patrick walks into the building and sees several fish inside it smoking cigars and playing poker.)
Realistic Patrick: Hello. I'm wondering if there's anyone here who has seen a friend of mine. He goes by the name of SpongeBob.
(As soon as the fish hear that name, they all pull out their guns and point them at Realistic Patrick.)
Realistic Patrick: It seems I've struck a nerve.
Voice: Hey, hey! Put that shit away!
(The owner of the voice comes out of another room to reveal it's a hyper-realistic SpongeBob. The fish put their guns back into their pockets and resume playing poker.)
Realistic SpongeBob: Sorry about that. We have some bad people after us, so we can never be too careful.
Realistic Patrick: It's good to see you again, anyway.
Realistic SpongeBob: So, are you here because you're ready to join the business?
Realistic Patrick: (shakes head) No. Drugs destroyed this city. If you went out once in awhile, you would see it. Kids addicted to whale blubber, people shooting up in the streets. I'm not here to join but to beg you to shut the operation down. Haven't you made enough money from it?
Realistic SpongeBob: There's no such thing as "enough money". Sandy's pregnant again, didn't you hear?
Realistic Patrick: She is? Damn, I thought she dumped your ass by now.
Realistic SpongeBob: She's more understanding of what I do than you are. I'm trying to provide my kids with life I could never have. I want them to move a better city, go to a good school, become doctors, lawyers, start families of their own, and to allow them to do that, I've gotta keep the business going.
Realistic Patrick: Come on, SpongeBob. You and I both know this isn't about the kids. You've been doing this for so long you don't know what else to do. You caught lightning in a bottle, cooking up shit nobody in this town ever tasted before. And you're afraid to drop the spatula and move onto something more respectable.
(Realistic SpongeBob turns around and thinks for a moment.)
Realistic SpongeBob: Maybe I am. It doesn't matter. I ain't shutting the business down, and if you think I am, you need to get those thoughts out of your head right now.
Realistic Patrick: Then you can have this back.
(Realistic SpongeBob turns around to find a ring with "BFF" engraved in it in Realistic Patrick's open palm.)
Realistic SpongeBob: (gasps) Our friendship ring!
Realistic Patrick: I can't be friends with somebody who continues to hurt people.
(Realistic SpongeBob takes the ring, and his eyes fill with tears as he looks at it.)
Realistic SpongeBob: Fine, then. Leave and don't come back, cause next time my people are preparing to blow your brains out, I won't intervene.
(Realistic Patrick leaves the building and goes into his apartment building several blocks away. He's about to go to sleep in his room on the 21st floor of the building when he notices something outside the window.)
Realistic Patrick: What the hell?
(Realistic Patrick opens the window and sees clearly that it's a large red hole floating in the space in front of him. As he gets closer to it, he feels it pulling him in, and before he can get away from it, the hole consumes him and spits him out into the Patrick Star Show universe. Sandy and Squidina run to him and cover their mouths in horror once they see his face.)
Realistic Patrick: Where am I? And why's everything look like a comic strip?
Squidina: (whispering) This is definitely the ugliest Patrick.
Realistic Patrick: Hey! I heard that! And you're no spring chicken, yourself!
(Realistic Patrick stands up and brushes himself off.)
Sandy: Welcome to our universe! You're the fourth Patrick to come from that rift in the sky today, so we think something big is about to happen that involves y'all!
Realistic Patrick: Fourth Patrick?
(Patrick, PSS Patrick, CGI Patrick, Lego Patrick, and SpongeBob join them.)
Realistic Patrick: Yeah, screw this. I'm out.
(Realistic Patrick jumps as high as he can, but he can't reach the interdimensional rift.)
Realistic Patrick: Can somebody give me a hand?
Squidina: No can do! Before we send you back to your universe, we have to find out why you and the other Patricks were sent here!
Realistic Patrick: Maybe this all is just a coincidence.
Sandy: I thought that could have been a possibility after the third Patrick, but now it's obvious this is anything but coincidence, and we're going to get to the bottom of it!
Realistic Patrick: We aren't going to do anything!
(Realistic Patrick grabs Lego Patrick and sticks his head into the ground.)
Lego Patrick: Help! I don't consent to this!
Realistic Patrick: I'm getting away from this freak show!
(Realistic Patrick jumps onto Lego Patrick and reaches for the hole in the sky. Before he's able to enter it, a UFO flies out of it, knocking Realistic Patrick off of Lego Patrick.)
SpongeBob: What the?
(The UFO's window opens to reveal a frog with two faces inside of it.)
Frog: Good! Everyone's here!
Squidina: Who are you?
Frog: I am Ianus, King of the Multiverse. I've brought these five Patricks together to help me stop the man who created this interdimensional rift you see behind me.
Sandy: Why does it need to be Patricks?
Ianus: Because, dear Sandra, it's a Patrick that we're fighting.
(End of Act II)
== Act III ==
(Ianus circles the five Patricks in his UFO.)
Ianus: Yes, yes, you'll do fine.
Realistic Patrick: What do you mean "it's a Patrick that we're fighting"? One of us created that rift?
Ianus: Yes. You see, in the trillions of universes out there, every single one has its own Patrick Star. You all come with a unique ability to mold the universe you're in and even travel between universes, but only one of you has actually discovered this ability, and unfortunately, he does not seek to use it for good.
Squidina: What's that Patrick trying to do?
Ianus: Destroy the multiverse using its own energy. That rift takes in energy from every universe it appears in, and it appears in a new one every second. Once that rift is in enough universes, it won't be able to contain all of that energy, exploding and turning every universe that has ever existed into little more than space dust.
SpongeBob: Neptune! That's awful!
CGI Patrick: Why would one of us want to do that?
Ianus: I haven't spoken to this Patrick, but I imagine he's given up on life and wants to take as many lives as possible with him.
Realistic Patrick: And how are we supposed to stop him?
Ianus: Since a Patrick opened the rift, only a Patrick can close it, but it's so powerful by now that we'll need up to five of you to close it successfully.
(The original Patrick looks at the others.)
Patrick: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's save the multiverse!
PSS Patrick: Yeah!
CGI Patrick: Yeah!
Lego Patrick: Yeah!
Realistic Patrick: (rolls eyes) Whatever.
Ianus: All right, get in. There's enough room for all of you.
(The Patricks jump into the UFO, and Ianus flies it into the rift, leaving SpongeBob, Sandy, and Squidina behind.)
SpongeBob: I hope they come back okay.
Sandy: I still can't believe any of this. There's a multiverse, it's ruled by a two-headed amphibian, and the most important person in every universe is Patrick? The book I write about this will make me rich!
Squidina: If you live to write it, anyway.
Sandy: (nervous) Y-yeah! If I live to write it.
(Ianus lands with the other Patricks in a universe where everything is chrome.)
Lego Patrick: Where are we?
Ianus: This is the original universe. The one that started it all.
(Ianus points to a large chrome statue of a Patrick wearing no clothes.)
Ianus: This Patrick died thousands of years ago and is currently worshipped as a god.
Patrick: Why? He doesn't even know to wear pants!
PSS Patrick: And I thought we were dumb!
Ianus: Every universe is different, Patricks. Now let's focus on what we came here for.
(Ianus and the Patricks walk through the streets, which are littered with the bodies of dead animals.)
Patrick: What happened here?
Ianus: The people of this planet attempted to create a device that would allow them to travel between universes many years after their Patrick died, but without a Patrick to assist them, the device failed horribly, wiping this planet's population out. Many other people in many other universes have tried the same, but without a Patrick's help, they all met a similar fate.
PSS Patrick: Man, we must be really important.
Ianus: Indeed, you are.
(CGI Patrick notices Realistic Patrick keeping his distance from the others. He slows down until he and Realistic Patrick are beside each other.)
Realistic Patrick: What do you want?
CGI Patrick: You seem lonely. Do you want to be friends? We have so much in common!
Realistic Patrick: No thanks, Stop Motion Patrick.
CGI Patrick: Hey, I'm not stop motion! That's Lego Patrick!
(Lego Patrick turns his head without moving the rest of his body.)
Lego Patrick: Did somebody say my name?
Realistic Patrick: Don't freakin' do that! That's weird as shit!
Lego Patrick: You swear a lot.
Realistic Patrick: Well, I'm a grown-up. That's what we do. Now, look at where the hell you're going.
(Lego Patrick frowns and turns his head again.)
CGI Patrick: Why don't you want to be friends with me? Is it my breath? I probably shouldn't have had those fried oyster skins for breakfast.
Realistic Patrick: Your breath certainly isn't helping, but it's mostly that...friends inevitably disappoint you. I'm better off without them.
Ianus: We're here.
(Ianus and the Patricks approach a large building.)
Ianus: This is where the device was built and likely where that rift came from. 
Patrick: Do you think that evil Patrick is in there?
Ianus: I know he is, so make sure you're on your toes.
Patrick: But I don't have toes!
Ianus: You know what I mean!
Patrick: Not really.
Ianus: (sighs) Just be careful.
(Ianus and the Patricks walk into the building to find a Patrick wearing the original Patrick's pants with a black shirt facing away from them, typing into a keyboard connected to a big machine which is connected to an even bigger monitor. The monitor contains several small lines of code beneath a large, constantly increasing number.)
Evil Patrick: I was wondering when you'd show up.
(Evil Patrick turns around to reveal that his face is also similar to the original Patrick's but with a mustache.)
Patrick: Oh, man! I could never grow a mustache!
Ianus: Step away from the machine, Evil Patrick.
Evil Patrick: Is that what you're calling me? I wouldn't say it's wholly inaccurate, but it's also not very original.
Ianus: We're closing that rift.
(Evil Patrick pulls out a knife.)
Evil Patrick: No...you aren't.
(Ianus charges at Evil Patrick and misses every knife strike before knocking the knife out of his hand and pinning him to the ground by his neck.)
Evil Patrick: (hoarsely) It's too late! We've already reached the inflection point of 300,286 universes with a rift!
Ianus: Really?
(Ianus looks at the monitor with one face to find that the number on it is 300,285. Evil Patrick discreetly pulls a second knife out of his shirt and stabs Ianus with it before his second face can respond.)
Evil Patrick: No, but we will now!
(Evil Patrick pushes Ianus off him and presses the Enter button on the keyboard, causing the number on the monitor to increase by one before flashing red. The other Patricks watch in horror as Ianus lays bleeding and unresponsive on the floor and Evil Patrick stares at the monitor with a huge grin on his face.)
Evil Patrick: The resetting of the multiverse...has begun.
(End of Act III)
== Act IV ==
(SpongeBob is eating dinner with Gary when he hears a knock on the front door. He opens the door to find a mailman behind it holding a part of shoes with strange metal circles under their soles.)
Mailman: Here are your government-provided gravity shoes.
SpongeBob: Gravity shoes?
Mailman: Yes. These will keep that giant hole in the sky from sucking you up like it's sucking up everything else.
{The mailman points to the rift, which is now bigger than it was when SpongeBob last saw it and still growing. It's also much stronger, collecting trees, cars, and almost everything else around it.)
SpongeBob: Wow! You guys work fast!
Mailman: I will warn you that there is a small chance of these exploding, so you will not want to wear them for long.
SpongeBob: Wha-
Mailman: Have a nice day!
(The mailman gives SpongeBob the shoes, gets into his truck, and drives off. SpongeBob carefully puts the shoes down before returning to the kitchen.)
SpongeBob: I wish everything would go back to normal.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I wish I knew where Patrick was, too. That thing sucked up his rock, and I haven't been able to find him anywhere else since coming back from work.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Don't say that, Gary! He has to be alive. He needs to be. I...need him to be.
(SpongeBob makes several flyers with a poorly-drawn version of Patrick and the words "Have You Seen This Starfish?" over it. He then leaves the house in his gravity shoes and staples flyers to different parts of the city. As he's returning home, he notices something coming out of the rift.)
SpongeBob: What's that?
(The object falling from the rift turns out to be Ianus, and he lands right on top of SpongeBob.)
Ianus: Man! Good thing I fell on this soft, squishy mattress, or I'd be a goner!
SpongeBob: (muffled) I'm not a mattress.
Ianus: Oops!
(Ianus climbs off of SpongeBob.)
Ianus: Sorry about that.
SpongeBob: It's fine! You falling from the sky isn't close to the weirdest thing that has happened today.
Ianus: (looks up at the rift) I see.
SpongeBob: So, what's your name?
Ianus: I...don't know.
SpongeBob: You don't know your own name?
Ianus: I seem to have forgotten everything. My name, where I come from. Perhaps it will come back to me.
SpongeBob: I hope it does! I've never seen a frog with two faces before!
Ianus: And I've never seen a...cheese man?
SpongeBob: I'm a sea sponge!
Ianus: (laughs) I wasn't even close.
(The rift, which briefly stopped pulling in everything around it after spitting out Ianus, starts again, causing Ianus to fly towards it.)
Ianus: Help! Please! I don't want to go in that void again!
SpongeBob: Don't worry, frog man! I've got you!
(SpongeBob grabs Ianus with both hands, but then he starts to get lifted from the ground, slowing moving towards the rift with Ianus.)
SpongeBob: No! The gravity shoes aren't strong enough!
Ianus: I guess there's no other choice, then. You have to let go.
SpongeBob: No!
Ianus: Come on. You've got your whole life ahead of you. I'm just an old frog who doesn't remember who he is.
SpongeBob: I'm not letting go!
(Suddenly, two policemen appear and grab SpongeBob, pulling him down and pulling Ianus down with him. One of the policemen give Ianus a pair of gravity shoes, and he thanks the policeman before putting the shoes on.)
Policeman 1: Who are you? I've never seen anyone like you around here before.
Ianus: I...I'm Ianus. Yes, it's starting to come back to me now.
(Ianus looks up at the rift again.)
Ianus: That thing...I tried to stop the person who created it...but I couldn't.
Policemen 2: You're telling us you know who's responsible for that?
Ianus: Yes. It's...it's...
(Ianus notices one of SpongeBob's flyers on a nearby flagpole.)
Ianus: It's him! That's who created it!
SpongeBob: You're saying Patrick made that hole in the sky? He couldn't have!
Policeman 1: Do you where this Patrick is?
SpongeBob: No! That's why I made those flyers.
Policeman 1: Well, I'm sorry, but this is the only lead we have. Put an APB out for the starfish.
Policeman 2: You got it.
SpongeBob: No!
(The policemen get into their car, which has bubbles shooting out of the top to keep it from getting taken into the rift, and they drive off.)
SpongeBob: No! No! No! Why would you do this?
Ianus: I simply told the cops what I remembered.
SpongeBob: Are you sure you remembered it right?
Ianus: (scratches both chins) I'm not sure, actually.
(Ianus walks closer to the flyer and squints at SpongeBob's drawing of Patrick before opening his eyes again wide.)
Ianus: Oh, Jupiter. You're right. It wasn't Patrick who made the rift, at least not your Patrick.
SpongeBob: There's another Patrick?
Ianus: Many. As many as there are universes. But there is one more dangerous than the others. That's the one who killed me. That's the one who we need to stop.
SpongeBob: Wait, you're dead?
Ianus: Do I look dead?
SpongeBob: I don't know what to believe anymore.
Ianus: As the King of the Multiverse, I have many ways to cheat death, but if the multiverse gets destroyed like it's looking like it will be soon, none of those ways will matter.
SpongeBob: Multiverse? Destroyed? Ice cream?
Ianus: I never said anything about ice cream.
SpongeBob: Yeah, I was just getting my hopes up. What can we do?
Ianus: I now realize that there's one thing that sets Evil Patrick's universe apart from all the others.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Ianus: You.
SpongeBob: Me?
Ianus: His universe is the only one that doesn't have a SpongeBob. Without a SpongeBob, he never got to experience love or friendship. He became bitter, angry at the universe, angry at all of the universes. He probably thinks destroying the multiverse and killing me for good will lead to a more fair multiverse replacing it.
SpongeBob: Will it?
Ianus: No. It will lead to nothing. There will be nothing left. Of course, I couldn't convince him of this even if I tried to.
SpongeBob: Maybe we could.
Ianus: Huh?
SpongeBob: Me and as many other SpongeBobs as you can find! Have us meet this Evil Patrick and show him the love and friendship he's been missing out on! Then he will have to reverse it!
Ianus: That idea may just be crazy enough...to get us all killed!
SpongeBob: Do you have any better ones?
(Ianus starts to say something but then stops. After a moment, he shakes his heads.)
SpongeBob: Let's do it, then!
Ianus: Okay.
(Ianus takes off his shoes and starts to float towards the rift.)
Ianus: (turns to SpongeBob) Ready?
(SpongeBob takes off his shoes next and floats towards the rift as Ianus is swallowed by it.)
SpongeBob: Yeah...I'm ready!
(End of Act IV)
== Act V ==
(In realistic Bikini Bottom, several versions of SpongeBob walk into a dilapidated building with Ianus. They find Realistic SpongeBob playing poker with members of his gang inside. Once they hear the visitors, Realistic SpongeBob and the gang members immediately stand up and pull out their guns.)
Ianus: Wait, wait! We come in peace!
Realistic SpongeBob: Who are you? And why are you with a bunch of fellas that look like me?
SpongeBob: It's Patrick! He's in danger and we have to save him!
Realistic SpongeBob: I don't give a shit about Patrick!
Ianus: Well, do you care about your universe? Because if you don't come and help us, there's a very good chance that it will be destroyed.
(Realistic SpongeBob scratches his chin.)
Realistic SpongeBob: Well, I can't argue with a two-headed frog and a buncha clones of me. Put your guns down, boys. I'll be back.
Gangster: You sure?
Realistic SpongeBob: Yeah.
(Realistic SpongeBob joins the other SpongeBobs and Ianus as they head to the rift in front of Realistic Patrick's apartment building.)
Realistic SpongeBob: We're going into that thing?
CGI SpongeBob: Yup!
Realistic SpongeBob: Is it too late to turn back?
Lego SpongeBob: Yup!
(Ianus and the SpongeBobs go into the rift, and they're transported to the universe where everything is chrome.)
Ianus: Evil Patrick should be over there.
(As Ianus points, he realizes that his hand is disappearing.)
Ianus: Oh, no. Since I've died in this universe already, it seems I'm not allowed back in it.
SpongeBob: What?
Ianus: (chuckles) It's nice to learn something new after being alive for thousands of years.
PSS SpongeBob: How are we supposed to stop this Evil Patrick without your help?
(Ianus looks down and sees the rest of his body dissolving.)
Ianus: I'm not sure, but either way, you will have to go on without me.
(After Ianus completely disappears, the SpongeBobs walk in the direction Ianus was pointing.)
Realistic SpongeBob: That toad better not get us killed.
(The SpongeBobs continue walking until they find a large building, the only one they've seen so far that isn't covered in chrome.)
SpongeBob: This must be where our Patricks are!
(The SpongeBobs run into the building to find that all of the Paticks except Evil Patrick are tied up.)
Patrick: SpongeBob! And...SpongeBob! And...SpongeBob!
Evil Patrick: SpongeBob?
Patrick: That's what I just said.
Evil Patrick: Ianus' plan for stopping me is sending the idiot friends of my alter egos?
CGI SpongeBob: We think...you're so mad because you never had an idiot friend of your own.
Lego SpongeBob: So let us be your idiot friends!
Evil Patrick: Hard pass.
SpongeBob: Come on! We didn't come all the way here to take "no" for an answer! We even brought a gift!
Evil Patrick: (laughs) What gift?
(CGI SpongeBob takes out a jar with a CGI jellyfish inside of it.)
CGI SpongeBob: Wanna go...
(PSS SpongeBob takes out two jellyfishing nets.)
PSS SpongeBob: Jellyfishing?
Evil Patrick: No, not really.
SpongeBob: Come on! You'll love it! 3D sponge, let 'er rip!
(CGI SpongeBob opens the jar, and the jellyfish flies out.)
Evil Patrick: Wait!
(The jellyfish stings Evil Patrick before flying to the machine connected to the monitor.)
Evil Patrick: No!
(The jellyfish stings the machine, causing it to malfunction. Evil Patrick shoos the jellyfish away and tries to get the machine working again, but the jellyfish flies back to him and stings him twice as hard.)
CGI SpongeBob: Aww, he likes you.
(Evil Patrick takes out his knife and stabs the jellyfish with it, getting jam all over the keyboard and machine.)
Evil Patrick: Damn it!
CGI SpongeBob: You monster! You killed him!
(Evil Patrick tries to type on the keyboard, but all of the keys are stuck. He looks at the monitor, which is no longer flashing red with a number on it that is rapidly decreasing.)
Evil Patrick: I'm going to kill you next, you annoying, ugly sponge, you!
(Evil Patrick runs to CGI SpongeBob with his knife and stabs as quickly as possible, but CGI SpongeBob is able to create a gap in his torso before evil Patrick can pierce it, and OG SpongeBob extends an arm to snatch the knife from Evil Patrick's hand before he can use it again.)
Evil Patrick: Now I really wish I had a SpongeBob so I could have known that you could do that.
Realistic Patrick: Quick! Get us out of this rope!
(SpongeBob tosses the knife to Realistic SpongeBob, and he uses it to release all of the Patricks, cutting Realistic Patrick out of his bounds last.)
Realistic Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.
Realistic SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.
(Suddenly, the monitor turns off, and sparks fly out of the machine.)
Lego Patrick: It's about to blow!
CGI Patrick: Let's get out of here!
(All of the Patrick except for Evil Patrick run out of the building, and all of the SpongeBobs except the original SpongeBob follow them.)
SpongeBob: Aren't you coming with us?
Evil Patrick: (crying) No. Just leave me here and save yourself.
(SpongeBob turns around and starts to leave the building, but as he hears Evil Patrick sob behind him, he sighs and turns around again.)
SpongeBob: Here's the thing about us SpongeBobs: we never leave our Patricks behind.
(Realistic SpongeBob is about to go into the building to get the original SpongeBob, but he stops just outside the door to listen to the rest of SpongeBob's speech.)
SpongeBob: My Patrick helps me be the best version of me, and I'm sorry you never had a SpongeBob to help you be the best version of you, but that doesn't mean you can't be better. You still have a lifetime to experience the kind of love that only a best friend forever can bring you.
(SpongeBob takes his friendship ring out of his pocket and presses a button to open it, causing miniature figurines of SpongeBob and Patrick to pop out and spin around the ring.)
Figurines: (singing) It's the best friends forever, best friends forever ring!
SpongeBob: So if you're going to stay in here, I'm going to stay in here, too! I'm going to make sure you experience a taste of this wonderful friendship even if it kills both of us!
Evil Patrick: Please. Just go away.
SpongeBob: Nuh-uh!
(Evil Patrick looks at the machine, which is shaking now with sparks still flying out of it, and he looks at SpongeBob, who Evil Patrick can tell from his face has the resolve not to leave without him.)
Evil Patrick: (sighs) Okay. You win. Let's get out of here.
(Realistic SpongeBob catches up to the other SpongeBobs and Patricks as SpongeBob and Evil Patrick leave the building. About a minute later, the building explodes.)
Lego SpongeBob: Now, how do we get back?
Evil Patrick: With this.
(Evil Patrick takes a small mechanical timer out of his pocket.)
Patrick: How do I know what number to set it to?
Evil Patrick: You're a Patrick. You know.
(Evil Patrick gives the original Patrick the timer, and Patrick immediately knows where to set the dial for it. He then grabs SpongeBob's hand.)
SpongeBob: Are you sure you've got it right?
Patrick: Nope!
(SpongeBob and Patrick then disappear, leaving the timer behind.)
PSS SpongeBob: I...guess it's our turn.
(SpongeBob gives the timer to the namesake of The Patrick Star Show, and he sets the timer without thinking, just like the original Patrick. After they disappear, CGI SpongeBob and CGI Patrick go through the same process, and after they're gone, Lego SpongeBob and Lego Patrick do the same.)
Realistic Patrick: I guess that leaves us.
Realistic SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick?
Realistic Patrick: Yeah?
Realistic SpongeBob: I'm sorry...for everything. When we get back, I'm gonna wind down the business and take drugs off the streets for good.
(Realistic Patrick nods.)
Realistic SpongeBob: And Patrick...
(Realistic SpongeBob takes his friendship ring out of his shirt pocket.)
Realistic SpongeBob: Apparently, there's a pair of these in every dimension, so they ain't as special as I thought.
(Realistic Patrick takes the ring back and smiles.)
Realistic Patrick: It's still special to me.
Evil Patrick: (sniffs) You two better get going...before your universe starts to miss you.
Realistic Patrick: Hey, man. You'll find a friend of your own. I thought friends were worthless before I came here, but now I'm starting to realize...they're worth everything. The only meaningful change I've had in my life is because of this yellow dude here, and even though he can piss me off a lot, I don't know where I would be without him.
Evil Patrick: Trying to destroy the entire multiverse, maybe?
Realistic Patrick: (chuckles) Yeah, maybe.
(Realistic Patrick puts on his friendship ring and hugs Realistic SpongeBob.)
Realistic Patrick: I forgive you, and I love you.
(Realistic Patrick then hugs Evil Patrick, surprising him.)
Realistic Patrick: I forgive you, and I love you.
Evil Patrick: (crying) I...I...
Realistic Patrick: No matter what happens, know you've got a friend in our dimension.
Realistic SpongeBob: Friends. You've got friends in our dimension.
(Realistic Patrick turns the dial of the timer until he knows that he has set it correctly. He then grabs Realistic SpongeBob's hand, and they both wave at Evil Patrick before disappearing. Evil Patrick wipes the last of his tears away, picks up the timer, and turns its dial again before disappearing with it. In the Bikini Bottom from the original show, SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing bubbles in the park when a cop approaches them.)
Cop: Hey, starfish, we need to ask you some questions about that rift.
Patrick: What rift?
(The cop looks up at the now-empty sky.)
Cop: Uh...never mind.
(SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.)
SpongeBob: It sure is nice to be back in our own universe!
Patrick: You can say that again!
(A poorly-drawn version of SpongeBob walks in front of them.)
DoodlyBob: It sure is nice to be back in our own universe!
SpongeBob: Patrick, are you okay?
(DoodlyBob disappears.)
Patrick: Yeah...sure...totally...I think?
(The End)
Category:Spin-offs