Astrinan : Stories

==Stories==
"Old stories, are stories none the less. " - Luminous
----
<tabber>
|-|None= 
|-|How to save the world=
== How to save the world ==
How to save the world : Written by Aiden
(This is a story written by one of the players about the campaign Astral Antics)
Well looks like someone found my damm book, what's it about you asked well its as the title states how to save the fucking world. Well not really its more like a record of a Party’s successful or failed attempts at saving the world. There are multiple beginning in this story but I guess I’ll start with the appropriate one so you accursed reader have a better understanding of things. Oh btw the name’s xxx hah tricked you there you don’t think I am gonna tell you that easily maybe later but for now lets begin.
It all started in a fucking Tavern in a town called who knows what I forgot tbh, me and my twin brother Envy where just chillin in that Tavern trying to win at a bloody card game oh and were cheating of course. How you asked well its simple see I am what you called an Ethereal, its a group of I guess nearly extinct race of ghost like beings, see we have the ability to travel to the Ethereal plane at will, so back to the story Like I said me and my brother were cheating at a card game so we can win some quick buck but you see I don’t know how but the damm gnome wizard find out about our schemes so as punishment he stuck my brother up a ceiling. Its pretty funny tbh anyway as this is happening, one after the other a bunch of group of unique individuals started coming in and these individuals where you better remember them cause some of them will be damm important later on. So where to begin hmmm lets begin with our favourite totally not a doppelganger friend Riri, he is a unique character more unique than any other goblin I ever saw see he’s a barbarian so to say and a damm weird one at that. That fucker is wielding a fucking great axe even though its too fucking big for the damm guy but hey who am I to judge on weapon preference. So on to the next fucker the wizard Alarith Solstryx, now this fucker well I am gonna give a little spoiler for you dammed reader he is the one who started it all, it will all make sense later on but for now he’s just a evocation wizard looking for some companion to travel in. and up next we got some characters that aren’t really that important tbh so I’ll just speed round them, we got bahie the cannibalistic paladin, then we got cultist fucker I forgot his name tbh and I ain’t remember in em cause he is a fucking cunt, and that’s about it for now.
So after some introduction I guess I heard a weird commotion outside and as I look people are screaming out some demon threat bullshit well turns out its just some fucking scary cats but the Party didn’t really know that at first so anyway after the cat thing there is weird fucking portal that appears out of nowhere and before you ask yes it is that portal so being the clueless fuck that the party are they went in and after doing that, apparently they got transported into my realm the ethereal realm and there is a huge fucking tornado oh and for your information dear reader don’t jump or go near that tornado cause that shit will isekai your ass to another fucking world.  So anyway after I inform them of the dangers of the tornado eventually they all went back into the portal and back to the material plane
After that we decide to do a little demon solving but of course we’re all greedy fuckers so we obviously go to the rich cunt house and demand a bounty of sort so we fucking did. There this owlin fucker that greeted us oh and he is totally not a eldritch great old one worshiper or anything nooo totally not. So we asked for some shit money and some info basic stuff anyway a little timeskip and then we eventually investigate this abandon house of sorts and guess what instead of demons this house is full of cats yes fucking cats but not the normal kinds oh no this little fucker is far from normal I kinda forgot their name tbh but I think they are called something like scariyfie or someshit anyway after seeing this group of cats my stupid twin brother decide that it would be in his best interest to give one of the cats a fucking headic so bad that it is deadddd yup that's right my brother is a cat killer. So anyway the cats just look in his eyes then he got fucking scared shitless little bro was running out of the damm house and a bunch of other members also run. Oh and a little side note this cats are weak but they have an ability to scare you just by looking at you. Anyway after those pussies run away we got outside to find the damm rich owlin just standing there all cult like lookin like he the main villain of an anime whatever that is. So he just did this ritual thing calling some bloke called the great old fart, and then this huge ass ethereal hydra shit just came out and fucking eat the fucking owlin yes the anime is dead looks like bro is just a side character. So anyway a big fucking fight happen people were casting spells, swing axe and stuff like that honestly its quite fucking epic and I of course is doing the most important thing of all and watch the damm thing I mean what was I suppose to do at the time my powers haven’t even awaken yet so I am literally just a normal ghost dude, anyway after an epic fight ensued something sad happen my brother is dead yes dead as hell, bro died at the start of the damm adventure talk about bad luck am I right, and before you all criticize me about making fun of my brothers death in my defense for me that was like eons ago so I am fucking over it I was sad at the time tho anyway hydra dead Riri took his teeth and I well I was fucking fuming in anger I did something that I kinda regret.
So in my anger I may or my not burn down an entire mansion, the owlin mansion to be exact in hindsight maybe I shouldn’t have burned it down since it might have important documents there but oh well I was in my arson stage at the time. So after I burn the mansion down I think I met this goliath guy oh he’s not that important he sorta just there. Anyway I meet this goliath so is talking to this mysterious merchant (she gonna be important later on) anyway this merchant is very fucking greedy like this bitch will not do anything for free and that's a fact anyway the merchant gave us  a few task of capturing some pixies and with luck its easy enough anyway the important thing is what we find on the forest where the pixies are apparently there is some shadow thing and a ritual thing at the center of the forest. Well long story short it turns out the shadow thing is just an illusion and the puzzle is something to do with revelation destiny and shit like that anyway after that’s over the ritual reveal to us a vision of some kind a vision of our future enemy and in that vision appears a singular pirate and that cunts name is john fucking black eye. Anyway apparently Riri have some beef with this guy something about him killing his friends and crew mate boring shit like that anyway we’re just doing someshit in town me personally was checking out the merchants shop when suddenly out of fucking nowhere a goddamm fancy ass carriage appears and guess who is at the center yes that’s right another fucking owlin apparently that bitch is the sister of the owlin who killed my brother so anyway that privilaged bitch start shouting some nonsense about some stuff and she sent her guards on us and I personally manage to run away and escape and apparently according to the other they nearly got captured if it wasn’t for a man named Charles Dickens. Apparently that sly fuck manage to persuade the entire guardsman noble thing to listen to reason HAH image that nobles listening to reason my god how he manage to do it is still a wonder to me to this day.  Anyway the party decided to not fight and comply to the owlin’s demands which is to visit her at her home town that I forgot the name of anyway after that we said goodbye to Charles Dickens and we went of on the way Alarith manage to get him self under a current of fucking water tbh I kinda forgot how he manage to do that. But luckly yet again we manage to get saved this time by a huge ass golith that size should be large but becasue of stat reasons is medium 11 foot tall big ass golith name Hades. That abselut menence manage to jump in the water and drag Alarith out from the water. Anyway after some talking we found out absolutely nothing about Hades he has quite the mysterious past even until now. Anyway we were sent on our marry way and then we encounter some “threat” so to say a dyrad screaming out “DONT GO ANY FURTHER” “ITS DANGAROUS” and shit like that anyway even tho all this Dyarad do is talk this mf manage to stun lock the party for like 30 whole minutes it was me that eventually just had enough and fucking blast the damm thing so we can finally move on. Anyway on our way there we manage to encounter some sort of a thieves camp a group of thieves calling themselvles the thieves hall oh btw I forgot to mention Charles Dickens yeah that mf is neck deep in the criminal underworld that guy has some serius connections because the moment we show them the neckless that Charles gave us they immediately start to act friendly and then we were told to meet their leader but before that Riri is apparently called to go to a tent for some reason this is totally not a redflag at all nope he totally didn’t just got swapped by a doubleganger right about nope. Anyway we speak to the leader bla bla bla some bullshit things that I forgot then we were sent to our marry way oh btw godammit I forgot again I probably should mention that right about now we get a weird ring called ring of the soulless and after talking to the merchant about it this stuff can do cool and dangerous ass things and dammed reader if somehow you manage to find yourself in possession of this ring you must be very careful with it anyway this ring have the power to travel through time apparently the wearer of the ring can spend 1 of 3 of the ring charges to go back in time for 1 min per charge butt there is a drawback each charge used have their own side effects - first charge side effects = the wearer will lose a portion of his soul/emotion and the ring will got stuck on the wearers finger indefinitely (maybe a remove curse will solve this problem but I am unsure)
- Second charge side effects = the wearer will become a greedy fucker that's about it
- Third charge side effects = the wearer will fucking die permanently yup they will fucking die just like that so don’t ever use the third charge
Anyway after some travel we manage to get to the owlin’s home town a town name I forgot. Anyway after reaching here I found out that apparently Charles Dickens has got there before us (I have a theory that he is some demigod being that owned a lot of Taverns and can clone himself) anyway we meet with Charles then we also meet with a man called Libarua he is apparently a detective and after some wizard duel with Alarith he disappears and told us to find him in his home. So after some asking around we manage to find a guard station and go there talk to the captain sign some life binding blood contract and then he told us where’s Libarua’s home is after sometime getting there we got there meet with the man (oh he’s a shapeshifter btw) then we go to the owlin after we meet with the owlin I got a pleasant surprise apparently the huge ass goliath is scared of some fucking birds, and any kind of birds too it don’t have to be specific (also Hades have multiple personalities) after that the owl told us to attend some ceremony bullshit about Selune (the god of cunt fuck I hate that bitch) and then after some rest Libarua agreed to lead us towards the village where they are celebrating some moon event anyway somethings happen bla bla not interesting but now we get to the juicy stuff on our way there the party encounter this strange tomb place that is filled with 3 undead anyway after clearing it we went down to find a strange unopenable tomb and a book which contained a language that we cant read (oh fwi whatever you do do not drop your own blood onto the book you’ll see why later) anyway we grab the book find a rainbow dragon things then leaves and head towards the village OH SHIT NOW I REMEMBER were suppose to head their to deal with a changeling problem anyway we got there stay in for the night and tomorrow we plan to figure out the changeling problem.
So tomorrow settle in Libarua are discussing what we need to do at this point (Riri is mysteriously gone btw) after some discussing we agree that its best to start going around the village to see if we can find something out of place, so after some bullshit searcing the party encounters Riri talking to Libarua in the middle of the damm forest but here’s the kicker both of them is acting weird really weird. So after “Riri” going away we take “Libarua” back to town and low and behold another Libarua appears now this is getting really weird but at least we found the changeling. Anyway after confirmation test via the house of Libarua, we manage to figure out who is the real Libarua and detain the fake how do we detain them you? ask hahaha its good that you ask, so fucking Hades decided to carry the man all the way up to a damm mountain build a fucking cage then just left him there, and I gotta be honest I don’t think we ever went back to him either that or we manage to send him off to the owlin’s town for further questioning anyway after that we went back to our hotel church that we’re staying in, to try and confront the last remaining changeling which is a tabaxi and his scrarife friend. So we end up confronting them but they manage to escape I turn into a damm horse to change after them but in the end they just teleported away (oh they’re etherials to btw) but before they teleport they did give me some weird information. I am pretty sure they said something like “Home fucked, citidel thingy shit stain” something like that. So they teleported away with an etherial cristal (a cristal depending on the colour have the power to transport you to a different realm). Anyway after they manage to escape Librue told us that we’ve done enough and we should enjoy the finale of the moon festival and then report to the owlin once we’re done. So we did later that night the finale of the festival commence Libure say some god speech about the god of cunt Selune and her twin Shar it was all well and good until for some reason I felt like my body couldn’t move no its more like my mind have been taken over and Hades felt it too in fact all that worship Selune felt it a weird surge of energy that takes over your mind. Suddenly a fucking portal appears out of nowhere and the worshipers of Selune started to head there and this portal the other side is a flamming place that is constantly on fire (Its the fire plane) and me and Hades we’re just about to go to that place before a fucking meteor just came out of nowhere from the portal and just hit me and Hades, lucky the meteor is pussy grade so it dealt little damage but it did knock us back a few feet and manage to free us from Selune’s control. Oh and through Alarith’s familiar we discover that the owlin is on the other side of that portal seemingly leading the group of mind controlled worshipers (I’ll get to the real detail later bitch so be patient) anyway on a side note some fucker appeared out of nowhere and seemingly wanted to kill Alarith and I think its his brother or something yeah idk its some noble problem thing. Anyway then also out of nowhere a fucking tsunami appears through a portal Librue manages to dodge out of the way but me and the rest of the party weren’t so lucky so we got hit by the tsunami and got knocked back to a different portal. Where did we end up in you ask? Well we end up in a wonderful totally full of life place and not destroyed Water Plane.
So as we got dumped in the water plane we were separated at first but after a few shenanigans we eventually manage to meet up again, and the first thing we do is go to this shipwreck thing to see if we can figure out what is happening, on our way there we face off against this stupid ass aggressive squid that just attacked us unprovoked btw damm asshole squid and way we eventually manage to beat the fucker and head in further inside the shipwreck, and on the shipwreck after some investigating we manage to find some notes that state what exactly happened, so apparently the people on this ship were just innocently sailing around the sea until one day a big fuck all tornado just came in and fuck them in the ass, but there is a twist this isn’t just a regular tornado oh no this is an ethereal tornado which mean they gon get teleported to a random plane of existence, so for better or worse they got teleported in the water plane, hey I mean at least its not the fire plane or even hell right so its not really that bad for them. Anyway after reading out the journal we decide to rest up above the ship and then when we got there, well lets just say some brain fuckery is about to happen. We spot someone trying to swim on our to our ship at first glance that someone seems to be a fish person thing but after they got on it turns out to be a motherfucking Riri yup there is 2 Riri now and it will only get worse from this point on, so after some confusion and some DNA test (we don’t really run an actually DNA test more like a question test) we manage to figure out the real Riri and so we try and capture the fake one and we did Alarith manage to put him to sleep but once we wake up that mf use the ring of the soulless and send him self 2 minutes early. And just attacked Alarith out of nowhere but he is severely out numbered so we beat him again, but before he could get tied up and captured yeah you guessed it he used the last charge and sent back 1 min and of course this is all just speculation since only he knows the real timeline but anyway after using the last charge he got fucking Thanos snapped and just dies and surely after that we wouldn’t have to deal with more doubleganger righttt RIGHTTT.
So before I got further in to the journal dammed reader let me tell you how exactly the doppelganger shit happen and my personal advice on how to deal with it, so remember when I write that were on the thieves camp and Riri got called to the thieves thing yeah well apparently that’s where he got fucking kidnap and switch out by a doppelganger now why does that even happened you ask well as I mentioned before Riri got beef with black eye and black eye got beef with him because as I remember it he is the reason why he got a black eye, and as it happen black eye manage to control a large number of doppelganger and my theory is that the members of the thieves hall have been switched by a doppelganger some of them anyway its that or the thieves hall sold us out if that's the case they better hope I don’t achieve my ultimate goal cause once I do I am gonna wipe those fuckers out. Anyway that is when Riri got switched, now let us move on to how to deal with a fucking doppelganger.
Doppelganger abiliy’s =
*Memory jack = the creature is able to obtain its victim’s most recent memory’s
*Surprise strike = the creature is able to hit really fucking hard when its victim is unaware of the danger
Doppelganger weakness =
*Moonbeam will reveal a doppelganger if he got affected by the affect so if any of your party members started to act suspicuius I recommend you regularly shower them with moonbeam it will hurt sure but its better then getting back stab
*Because a doppelganger only have the victim’s most recent memory if you and the victim have been long accutainses it might be use to fact check them from time to time just to be save
*Truesight will obviously see through a doppelganger disguise so if you have an opportunity to obtain truesight or meet a someone who has truesight like an Astral be sure to ask them to check your party for any signs of foul play
Oh yeah and another thing to note if you are dealing with black eye’s doppelganger they will try and kill themselves to avoid capture so be sure to check for hidden weapons if you are planning to capture them or cast a control/charm spell on them.
On the topic of how to kill dangerous beings I might as well tell you how to kill a ethereal hydra too,
*E Hydra strength =
*its head is in the material plane meanwhile his body is in the ethereal plane
*If the head is killed then 2 more will take his place so whatever you do do not slice of the head
*E Hydra weakness =
*a party member must be able to go to the ethereal plane then attack the body their and finish it off as fast as possible
*This is untested but a normal hydra weakness is fire as fire can make the head stop regenerating it might work on a E Hydra too but this remain untested
Alright now that I’ve filled you in on how to kill some fuckers let us move on to the story
So after the doppelganger problem is “Solved” apparently Riri the “Real” one has been kidnap the entire time bro was in a fucking pirate ship getting tortured and what not but eventually manage to escape and find himself in fucking Atlantis no joke bro just casually discover an underwater city then again he is in the water plane so maybe underwater cities are common here anyway after some catching up Riri lead the rest of the party to this underwater city he also gave us this cool neckless that allowed us to breathe under water when worn of but it also make us unable breathe normal air so if you find one of these things you have been warned. Oh yeah I forgot to mention before all of this happen my dumbass thought it would be a good idea to cut myself then drop my blood in an ancient evil book so now I am cursed and the curse just keep getting worse but it didn’t really matter you’ll see why later
Oh and there is this puzzle thing too it goes something like “Etheyeende teeachei teeeiayr eyeen teeachei beeidees beeiellellodubau, ethayseeei whiyoyour peayestee reiseeoellelleiseeteeeioen. Achodubaueiveeeir peroveeei whiyoyoureseielleth teeo teeachei yeode Teewhiyr ayende eiemberayseei teeachei seeachayenyeei oeth dubauacho whiyoyou dubauayentee beei” if you ever find yourself stuck with this puzzle here’s a tip its a homophone puzzle and once you figure out a few words you must translate them into the alphabet. Anyway back to the story after we go the I am just gonna call it Atlantis, after we arrived at Atlantis we rest up for the day. Then the next day we enjoy this wonderful fish breakfast oh boy that shit was GREAT I am not kidding that shit make noble food look like a pile of shit, oh and I also met this wonderful squid thing name Dory. Anyway after eating breakfast 2 unexpected thing happen first of all Hades have this great idea that he wanna explore the UNDERWATER CITY ALONE  yup and he go to a place where there is a sign that said danger what did he do when he see the sign you ask well that fucker goes in of course. And you guessed it he encounter a very dangerous fucking giant ass angle fish and with the luck of the gods the luck of the world it self that fucker somehow manage to survive the entire encounter but with the loss of his bloody arm. Yeah after some quick surgery was done the second surprise came in apparently black eye’s ship is getting near he’s like 30 min away from here oh and he also have been destroying some cities on the way so yeah great news. Anyway after some talking Hades decide that its a good idea to go there alone and I guess fight black eye idk man Hades do be hades, meanwhile me Riri and Alarith want to wait at the edge of the city but before we can actually plan anything out the totally not a doppelganger Riri just snapped as if he is possessed or some shit and just heads in to the direction of the city. So I went in after him in case anything happens and after convincing alarith he too went in with me, oh btw Black eye pulled up an ethereal shard and like summon an army of demons or something, anyway were following Riri to whatever he was going eventually he got to this temple thing and there is a shire thing and in that shrine lies the orb of the water plane and then of course surprise surprise Riri turn out to be a doppelganger and the real Riri is still in the ship so before I continue let me educate you of what a realm orb is and what not to do when you find one.
So a realm orb is a core of the plane essentially that shit is what keeping the plane from fucking existing and when you encounter one whatever you do do not take or remove it doing so will cause the entire realm to lose its core fuel by the example of the water plane orb removing it will cause the entire water plane to be waterless and thus you kill everyone on the plane cause they are fucking fish. Anyway back to the story me and alarith fought with this DG (doppelganger) after an intense fight and me in the end literally blinding him he just gave up and now we have the orb and the moment we hold the damm thing a massive whirlpool just appears like outside so we drag the DG and head our way to the ship but the DG have suicidal thoughts and just killed it self by throwing himself to the whirlpool anyway after we head to the ship for the first time I saw him john fucking Black eye and oh boy was he strong but he is strong because he is wearing the  Armor of the heartless or soulless I forgot anyway if you encounter hostile enemy wearing this armor here’s what you need to do.
Anyone who is attuned to the armor is heartless hence the name also he is immune to all attack that is not a surprise attack essentially if he expect the attack he will be immune to it so do not use the same attack twice, if you can hide yourself until you are hidden then attack him and repeat the proses until he died. But we didn’t manage to kill him instead Riri manage to use a ethereal shard them shove him and black eye on to the portal. While all of this is going on the rest of the party decide that it would be best to escape via the shard so I think we smash a pink shard then goes in and after that we end up in the very normal and not weird plane of existence called the Fae Wilds.
So again we were separated. But before I continue let me give you all a tip about surviving in the fey wilds.
#You can nearly imagine anything out of existence expect for toffees if you try and do that and you will is not strong enough your head will explode
#Don’t try and Imagine yourself getting healed and this is just a theory but don’t try to imagine/conjure currency
#Assume everything in this place is Alive and treat it as it were a living being
With that out of the way lets continue with the story
So I manage to land in bum fuck nowhere same as everyone else but with some creative use of our imagination literally we manage to regroup and in here is where we met our first mental asylum patient a man named Lux he claimed to be a former powerful wizard but his heart got fucked and now there is a bomb in his chest that apparently grant him wild magic oh and the one who place the bomb is aviva solstryx otherwise known as Fae. So not long after we meet the guy we immediately got fucking jumped by this ethereal bird thing in which I am going to you dammed reader how to deal with this fucking thing so you don’t end up like me
*Ethereal bird strength =
*attack duplication, every time his main body is attacked he can duplicate and create a fake one
*Creative imagination, if he is on the fae wilds the bird and all of his clones would be able to use the imagination powers of the fae wild
*How to beat him =
*The recommended strategy is to split the party in half and have them do 2 task the one half focus on finding the main body and damaging it, meanwhile the other half focus on dispelling/killing of the fake body's and also contest against their imagination if need be
Anyway with all that said lets get back, so after a long and close battle with the bird and after Hades running away cause bird phobia we ended up losing, while the rest of the party are relatively fine I on the other hand am fucking dead.
So you must be wondering by now who is this absolutely intelligent and charming author of yours well its time to get into the backstory I’ll tell you my beginning
Sup you cunts my name is Aiden Starfall up until recently I am an orphan raised in a forest area right outside of aedenburg I think that’s the name, anyway it all truly started with a story, a story that is told by an odd old lady named Fey, you see back in the orphanage Fae was the local old lady with a shit ton of stories and some of them may or may not be true, anyway one day she told the kids of the orphanage a story about a kindapped child, a child of the fae wilds a child from the Fae queen herself and the king of the wind. At first it was all love and happiness until one day a shadow etherial came around and surprise attacked them and one thing led to another the child disappear not long after and it is said that the child will be back someday and with it he will bring a prophecy. More less that’s how the story goes at first when I heard this I thought Fae was just up to her antics again but well I was really wrong but we’ll get into that later anyway lets skip a few years shall we. A few years later our friend a boy named Glen suddenly approce us and told us that he found something in the forrest some ancient thing is what he said. And out of boredom and curiosity we decide to check it out and when we did it was a strange sight. At first the thing was trapped luckly me and Envy manage to avoid it, but upon further inspection this building is off like really of, I get the sense that it don’t belong here anyway after we head inside what we found there is a series of strange mechanisms, mechanism that should only be created by the most skilled artificer but somehow its more complicated then that. Anyway after some brain fucking puzzle we manage to activate a device in this building and it turns out to be a fucking teleporter yup its 3 fucking kids just found a teleporter what could go wrong. And where does this lead you ask?, why of course the fucking FIRE PLANE. So after we wonder of to the fire plane me and the others went to this strange place apparently we got transported in the outskirts of some city citadel thing and its white. Idk shit was strange as is anyway we evantually find our way into a museum and in that museum is a place dedicated to none other than Fey the inventor yup you dammed reader already know that fact but me at the time was pretty fucking supprised. Anyway after escaping the museum in classic fire plane costums some Slave fuckers were trying to kindap us clasic fire plane tbh but in a stroke of hmmm luck and shitty luck at the same time an shadow etherial came to kidnap us instead and he does so by opening a portal beneath our feat and transporting us to the Fae wilds. At there after some back and forth battle and a meeting with child Alarith we manage to hold back the shadow thing long enough that Fae show up to rescue us. And after that Fae explained things but not really explained things, well Fae was being cryptic as usual but we got to her workshop eventually where Fae manage to get Alarith home to safety. And then I told her about Glen and that he is still kidnap by some slave dickheads so me, Envy, and Fae went back to the fire plane to rescue Glen. Oh and on unrelated note I manage to befriend a fire salamander their, he was really sweet I manage to ask Fae for some money so I can buy one of his pots he was really happy when I did that, I wonder where he is now hopefully he manage to get out of the Fire plane poor guy. Anyway back to the story after Fae casually demonstrated her powerful ass invention such as a bow that have enough fire power to instantly kill an ancient red dragon we manage to scare one of the slavers to tell us where Glen is, and well this is going to took a bit of a dark turn you see the fire plane was a fucking hell hole but its diffrently from hell see I actually went to hell and tbh it was all torture and slaves and stuff but at least in hell the people that are getting fucked by the devils somewhat deserved it, but in the case of the fire plane there are innocent children that look lifeless and filled with beatings and scars, and of course the adults are not better of. So after some looking around we manage to find Glen and at the same time on that day my resolve have been shaken and I knew that I cannot let something like this continue to happen one way or another I will help these people and make the slavers fucking pay. But anyway we evantually went back to the Fae wilds where Fae is preparing somethings, oh and she also said that she is not going back to the orphanage and that due to fae wilds memory shit Glen will probebly forget the whole ordeal, and she also kinda forshadowed my brother’s death too apperenly she’s a bit of a future reader. Anyway after she sent us back to the orphanage we try and went back to the ancient machine thing but when we got there the whole thing just dissapier just like that as if its never there in the first place. Alright lore time is over now lets get back to where we left of where were we oh right I am fucking Dead.
So you must be wondering but writer if your dead how can you write this book, well I did die but at the same time I was also Reborn, alright lets begin the story of how I got fucking reborn with dope ass powers. After I was dead I got to this limbo place so to say and there is this dude that is watching me and after some dramatic flashback, he asked me a question but also he gave me a choice. I can either go to heaven I guess and be with my brother and die in happiness or I can try and complete the Astral trials if I succeed I will be reborn as an “Immortal” being called Astral's (fwi their immortality is bullshit there is so many ways of how they can die, sure you don’t age and stuff but the amount of time that my immortality is useless is actually laughable). Anyway if I succeed I get to live again and be an Astral but if I fail well my soul will get dissolved into oblivion meaning I will die forever. So after some not so long thinking I decide to do this Astral trials cause why not I am sure its not that bad right?, yeah no I was dead wrong its the fucking worse.
So for context reason not everyone get to have a chance on doing the Astral trials apparently you need to do some special ritual to be even presented with the option. Anyway lets get on the first trial the fucking Maze, yeah its pretty straight forward all I had to do is find my ways out of some mazes, seems simple right well it is expect it took me about centuries to fucking finish. You know I may seem to be downplaying the astral trials but its really fucking horrible ok but its just not that interesting to write about since the trial are simple, anyway the second Trial I had to fight an ancient red dragon yup gotta fight the damm thing. And guess what I lose A LOT, and I died but here’s the kicker every time I die got revived with all my health meanwhile the dragon wounds is still there, So I fought this dragon for actually EONS it took my so long but I did manage to get some info out from him, apparently the king of the wind also passes through the Astral trials and bro just speed run the whole thing well to be fair he is the king of realm so it should be easy for him to kill a dragon, anyway after some back and fourth I manage to damage the dragon enough to pass through the trials on yeah and there is this coin thing also that asked what is my end goal and I said to be the strongest being in all of existence but then my dead brother got all salty about it cause I didn’t said  want him alive I mean I did but if I had to chose ultimate power or him I would ultimate power of course I mean give me a break he was just a normal mortal he’ll die in a century max plus I had eons to come to terms of his death which I already did, anyway the dragon let me off early so I manage to pass the trials, after that another test came in tho this is a minor one you will be presented with 2 options a light and holy ish path or a dark and demonic path, yeah chose the light one that’s the right answer idk what will happen if I chose the demonic path but honestly I don’t wanna know. Anyway I talk to the watcher dude again and he explained that I am an Astral now and for the Astral sake I am not gonna explain how they work exactly so long story short I manage to become an Astral and got reborn, after that the watcher guy sent me back to the Fey wilds to reunite with the rest of the party members.
So after I make a cool as entrance by literally flying there in my ascended form I manage to rescue Riri from certain death and reunite with the rest of the Party and after some catching up I found out that they manage to get to Hades temple and that now they are running around some maze in order to find this Library thing that apparently have all the answer but also to infiltrate a meeting with some very powerful figures oh and also Fae is amongst those powerful figures. Anyway after A VERY LONG TIME SPENT trying to solve the damm maze well “solve” as in let Riri do all the work while we just wonder around aimlessly, we manage to find this Library and inside it there is this huge ass spider lady thing and essentially how it work is we can do and read what we want as long as we don’t make some loud noise more than 3 times. Ok so I am going to skip the useless fucking search for shit and just give you the important plot points of what we found
*First of all aviva Solstryx, Alarith ancestor and Fae are the same person oh and also due to a ritual involving zenith shit gone wrong Fae obtain partial immortality and haven’t aged well in ages apparently she is like thousands of years old
*Second of all in the past Fey and the others also experience this portal troubles and the whole damm thing also started because someone opened The book of the end yes dammed reader that fucking artifact is also the same reason why the chaos that is happening currently happened and you need some ritual thing in order to close/stop the book of the end
*The ritual it self well I gotta be honest my memory is a bit fuzzy at this one but I’ll do my best
*Essentially you will first need all of these things =
*- Phases spider venom - Sacrifice of Alarith (or the whoever opened the book in the first place) - Shadow feather from a shadow ethereal bird - Essence of fire from a high rank fire demon - Astral essence - Minor diversity energy spell - Tiger amulet located in Kassia - Falcon token located in Feyren - Blood from a god - The destruction of the Zenith items (Ring of the Soulless, Coin of the Luckless and Armor of the Heartless)
*Yeah tho how to do the ritual it self is still unclear to me but I am sure I’ll find out sooner or later
Anyway after all that shit and some investigating to find the meeting place of the powerful figures, I manage to get there before the rest of them does and manage to find a good hiding spot to watch the meeting. After some waiting here’s the essential highlight of the meeting
The one who came to the meeting was = some dwarf king cunt, some salamander pussy but kinda sweet too, Fey, the queen of the fey wilds, the king of the wind  who is an Astral, The merchant that I mentioned way back when,  Alith, and Libarua
As for the information I gained well its more less this
-    Alith seems of
-    Ring and armor gone missing, stolen from the hiding places, should keep on the move, these items are responsible for the death of gods, should be handled with precaution, zenith items needs to be found, map of the thing, the coin is in its hiding location (coin of the luckless is an item),
-    Missing = Armor of the heartless a while ago there was an attack on a flying pirate ship appear in the wind plane, Lost contact from all our contacts
-    The shadow fell is getting bolder
-    Raven queen and Venerzar (vampire king) working together, they believe that he is after the fey wild crown, they believe that the raven queen want the crown to to assert their rule in the fey wild
-    Main part = with great sorrow you guys zenith the book of the end has been realized from its prison
Also Libra point out something wrong in Alith then points to her eyes after some weird shit with her eyes Alith then proceeds to try and steal the map that has the location of the remaining zenith items while they are arguing. And then the wind king spot me from a distance (he’s my dad btw long story tell ya later), and I try and warn the others of what’s happening by blasting the table with eldritch blast in the hopes of them releasing what’s going on but well after that it all went to shit.
Yeah so everything went to shit first of all Riri just fell down from the heavens and landed on the table nearly fucking dead, Then the dwarf cunt tried to kill Riri but Fae stooped him, then the Damm owlin tried to escape so me and my old man went in and chase her down, it was pure chaos but eventually I devise a plan to lure the scary librarian onto the owlin in the hopes of stopping her which kinda work, well kinda she did stop but she then transform into this god like thing and it turns out selune is directly possessing her and that bitch tried to possess me too but failed oh btw here's a tip don't worship gods that you don't really know about cause they might just be a fucking power hungry psycho bitch that is willing to take over her followers mind to further pursue her agenda, anyway after she transform selune and my dad fought but it seemed like my old man was losing so I stepped in and use one of my trump card and to win the fight. Yeah I send that dumb bitch fucking flying of to the heavens, but the bad news is she manage to kill the librarian which means the powers that hold the library together is gone so the library is about to be destroyed, so I get the fuck out of there eventually everyone did and aftermath this and that it turns out back in the selune village thing selune used her powers to take over the mind of her worshipers forcing them to do her bidding the owlin included oh btw I also kinda killed selune even tho it's only temporary apparently gods can't be killed by normal means as long as they have followers but I did try and take advantage of the situation by making a minor deal with Shar telling her that selune is dead so she should take full advantage of that and that Shar owe me one.
So after that happen we had a heart warming funeral then out of nowhere a shadow ethereal assassin thing show up and try and kill the fey queen but Lux who btw is just drinking tea during the whole fight jump in the way and he got shot instead of the fey queen, but in a classic anime plot twist it was conveniently his heart that got shot and dammed reader if you remember his heart is where da bomb is so the bomb got destroyed meanwhile he is alive albeit at critical condition, so after some quick surgery by Fey he turns out to be some storm magic dude that can do storm powers (even tho that will be complete useless cause he is going to die in one the most pathetic ways possible). Anyway after that we did some shopping in the fey wilds where we met a creature that sells “fire retardant” then I met the Merchant again where I buy a totally overpriced mask, eventually oh and we also meet this cool as cat person who likes to scare the shit out of people, yeah her name Lavata and she’s a scarifie thing, see she is an ice wizard but funny thing is the majority of the time her spells are pretty much useless. So yeah anyway I also figure out that the fey queen is my mom and the king of the wind is my dad so yeah that’s pretty great apparently what happened was they got pregnant with twins but they don’t know that because I was in the ethereal plane which is just bad parenting tbh, and logically speaking I don’t even know how am I still alive since a baby can’t go on without food for long and since they ignore me I should have no way to eat but anyway we ignore logic in here who needs that thing, so yeah big revelation and you must be wondering also back where I right that in order to stop the book of the end you need to sacrifice Alarith of whoever open the book in the first place, yeah so let me explain it was revealed that in fact the book of the end was opened because Alarith and Colba just so happens stumble upon an old ruin thing near the solstryx estate and they just so happen discover the book of the end so Alarith fucking opened the book and pretty much caused the chaos that is today so yeah talk about a mistake of your lifetime am I right, so after that reveal we eventually got told to find this crow guy that sells ethereal shards so we can continue our quests, so we find this crow who was living in some bum fuck shack out in the shady land, and of course his fucking house is filled with traps. So after navigating through his house we eventually manage to get to him. And after he speak some nonsense bro he legit just throws a fire shard onto us and just transport us to the FUCKING FIRE PLANE WITHOUT BARELY GIVING US ANY DAMMM WARNING THAT DAMMED CROWWW.
So yeah we’re in the fire plane now but before I continue there are a few things that I forgot to mention such as that me and the party fought a phase spider and won to, so I am going to teach you on how to win against a Phase Spider and also how to bond with one I guess?
*Phase spider strength =
*potent poison, yeah that shit hurts its recommended that you take some poison resistant potion cause their poison is really deadly
*Phase shifting, see they have this ability that allows them to travel in and out of the ethereal plane pretty fucking fast, so its recommended that you kill them as fast as possible if you don’t have anyone that can travel to the ethereal plane
*How to deal with a phase spider = so there are 4 recommended ways to deal with them
*The first being, you must scout out a phase spider lair or find one wondering around without being seen then you lay an ambush of sorts and kill the thing before it can even act to the phase Spider can’t escape
*The second being, you must have someone with the ability to travel to the ethereal plane in my case I was the one who can do that, so just attack them normally or surprise them or attack them whoever you like just have at least 1 person in the material plane or the opposite
*The third being, you must find something a value and take something valuable from the phase spider so valuable that it has to get it back, so when you fight him he can’t just escape via the ethereal plane or from the ethereal plane back to the original plane
*The fourth being, you need to somehow make it so that the ethereal plane is worse than the material plane what I mean by that is you need to somehow “trap” the ethereal plane for example you can light the ground on fire or have a horde of zombies in the ethereal plane essentially make it so that if the phase spider tried to escape they would have to face something worse than you thus making it just came back to the normal plane eventually.
Alright now that I’ve got that out of the way lets continue, So we’re now in the fucking fire plane now I am giving you a warning this will probably be the least detail of my adventures due to me spending the majority of the time here fighting a fire demon and I’ll get to that later, so after I got dropped in the fire plane not long after we meet with this guy named faerun I think he was a fire salamander if I am not mistaken, and he’s been wanting to get out of the fire plane for a while now, anyway we eventually go to his house where we meet his absolute backstabbing cunt that he called a friend I forgot his name tbh but I’ll call him shit bag mcree so mr shit bag said that his friend is in trouble because apparently the fire plane is now getting controlled by some selune cultist and they are making the fire even worse to live, and his friend is in trouble because of a riot or someshit anyway being the good Samaritan that we are we agree to rescue his friend and when we arrive there the place was covered with selune cultist the moon fuckers. So after 10 minutes of cool ass montage and fight scenes we manage to rescue the “friend” but it turns out that the lying cunt sold us out to selune. So all of us besides Lux who is being depressed or someshit cause he didn’t get any tea I think idk he’s fucking weird and useless. Anyway we got our ass captured and I got put in a extra special room, apparently selune made a deal with a fire demon cunt bag named flame guy, so flame guy over here wanted to steal my Astral powers and apparently I will die permanently once the proces is complete (see I told you Astral immortality is useless), anyway some monolog here and there and some puzzle solving stuff from the other side of the party eventually they manage to get in my prison cell where a pathetic fight ensued yeah we got absolutely fucked by the fire demon it was laughable honestly but long story short I manage to hold back the fire demon long enough for Lavada to escape (Lux killed himself btw), but I stayed back to fight this fire demon. And ummm the story after this is a bit blurry I don’t know the full detail but according to the others it went something like this, they somehow manage to find the location of the fire orb manage to get there fight off 2 ethereal bird and then they stole the fire orb then they apparently cast some sort of a spell inside the bag of holding so then they got transported to the Astral plane, btw the entire time that happened I was fighting with the fire demon yeah that shit went on for a long time, but eventually the fire demon got bored and concerned because the fire plane no longer have fire and eventually he fucked off I was just wondering minding my own business until suddenly I got teleported into the Astral plane then I see my party members struggling in fighting this pirate ship who turns out to be John black eye but I just casually cast my spell then just fucking wrecked John black eye and his ship thus saving the day, but he did manage to escape apparently a portal appeared just when he’s falling down in the abyss thus saving his life but hey I still manage to save the day. Oh and there is also this new guy that joined the party his name is grobnar (the fucking nutcase) yeah if you think Lux is crazy this fucking guy is even crazy and dumber tbh despite him claiming that he’s smart (that’s a lie btw), So anyway idk what happened exactly but there is this assassin guy that also tried to kill the party and apparently he was hired by Venerzar the vampire king to kill us and steal the fire orb but he failed pretty badly. After that we manage to get to a temple that I will not disclosed for certain purposes but all you need to know dammed reader is that we manage to get teleported back to the Water plane.
Alright I know that was a bit of a speedrun but I genuinely don’t have the full details of what happened I was a bit ummmm “out of it at the time” So anyway we’re back in the water plane and Riri once again is possessed. Yeah Riri got possessed and starts to wonder off on his own, oh yeah btw the water plane have no water now, and another thing Riri obtained and use the coin of the luckless, anyway after following Riri he eventually lead us to this water temple thing and we went in after pulling out the water plane orb. So long story short Riri sort of sacrifice the power of the coin of the luckless in order to revive the water plane then he just sort of get engulfed in the water so me and the rest of the party escaped. But we are now pretty much stranded in the middle of the water plane so yeah really bad and after a long while of wondering of wildly me and levata eventually went of to investigate the light thing from a distance but it turns out its not a normal light in fact this fucking thing is a motherfucking big ass angle fish that took hades’s arm yup we’re fighting that fucker now, so after an epic fight ensued and after Hades got his revenge we manage to win and get Hades arm back (even tho its just a skeleton now), BUT we are not out of the woods yet oh nooo after a bit of more exploring there is another thing that we have to face and this thing is said to be one of the most dangerous creatures in the realm what is it you ask well its none other than a motherfucking Dream Walker.
Alright so I just told you that I had to fight 2 things in 1 day well the second thing is not really a fight but I’ll get to that anyway I am gonna give you fuckers a tip on how to win a fight against both an angle fish and a Dream walker lets start with The Angle fish.
Angle fish = there isn’t really any tricks or special ability that he has really he is basically just a big ass angle fish, but I’ll tell you this he can jump really fucking high so if you think your safe by flying yeah your not. Anyway like I said no special tricks this time just hit em until he’s dead and that is pretty much it
Dream Walkers = Alright now this is the more dangerous one if you encounter a dream walker well you might have pissed of a god or a powerful entity cause only powerful fuckers can summon up a dream walker essentially they are immortal killers and obviously mortal killers too so here’s how they work. They will first show up out of nowhere and shove you into this portal thing (that’s part of their trick), then they will fuck up your mind by showing you lots of horrible thing and make you delve into despair but here’s the important thing its all a dream its not real. None of the things he is showing you is real but he can kill you if you stay in his dream realm long enough he will kill you, so how do you get out well its simple just kill yourself.  But no seriously that is how you get out of the dream walker’s influence BUT there is a second trick, I predict that the dream walker also have the ability to use some form of illusion magic in the real world, so there might be a chance that the dream walker will trick you into believing that this is a dream but actually its not a dream and you just kill yourself. There is somewhat signs that you are in a dream but this is not 100% proven yet so take it with a grain of vodka.
#Things might be abnormally unlucky for you in the dream world
#You look like your getting hurt but you don’t actually get hurt in the dream realm
#If you have somesort of anti illusion spell it might help you getting out
#Theory: casting a teleportation spell might help you decide whether its a dream or illusion cause if the teleportation succend then you would have gotten out of the creature’s illusion range but if it fails then you are in a dream
#Just wait there no need to get impatient and kill yourself early make sure you know for 100% that you are in the dream world before you kill yourself
#Theory: the casting of deathward prevents you from dying but if your in the dream realm you don’t really die so deathward won’t really trigger but if your in the real world deathward should trigger right before you die so casting deathward before hand might be wise
That's about all the advice I can give now I still don’t know how to deal with that creature as of now but I am sure there is a way because if that creature is truly unbeatable then every god in existence would use it to kill the competition but considering that selune’s enemy’s is still alive I bet the gods have a way to deal with the dream walker problem.
So anyway with the dream walker problem solved albeit for now me and grobnar manage to get out from the dream walker’s clutches unfortunately Ferrum died by the hands of the dreamwalker. Yeah sad stuff anyway I don’t really know what happened next exactly because I was ummm a bit “out of it” but the party found this tower thing then they did some puzzle and then we got teleported back to the material plane specifically near a ruined village where there is a giant nearby.
So we got teleported here along with a ethereal bird I think and its rider. Oh also there is a bunch weird people that were with us too, there is this odd twin that just wanna tame and make everything into their pet. And a bunch of weird character’s showed up too. Anyway we eventually got near the village and the giant and after a surprisingly easy fight we manage to win and slay the giants then the weird people go back to do whatever they did originally I guess and we get left to investigate the place. So after some looting scouting and investigating we eventually spot a village nearby, oh and at this time grobnar started to act strange too idk he become less crazy I guess (not that in mattered in the fucking end cause that cunt still blow up the material plane), anyway we find this village kill some portal beast then talk to the mayor I think, and he told us that there is this time wizard’s temple thing or is it a monk’s temple idk its one of those 2 anyway there is this temple thing above the mountain but there is this guardian guy that is supposedly immune to damage and no one have manage to get past either so after some chatting we decided to start heading to the mountain (oh btw Riri just spawned out of nowhere and he’s now a sea goblin dude). So after a day worth of travelling we decided to take a “Rest” but it was unknown to me at the time that this would potentially be my final rest. Because while I was up in the dreaming just casually sleeping in lala land SOME FUCKING BLOAK DECIDED THAT’S ITS A GOOD IDEA TO SHATTER THE FIRE PLANE ORB AND BLOW UP THE FUCKING MATERIAL PLANEEE.
So yeah Grobnar shatters the fire plane orb and blows up the material plane all because he don’t want plants near him or someshit. So then we end up in this blank space in the middle of nowhere then some guy later showed up (this guy is Try btw), he showed up out of nowhere then proceeds to tell us that we are in god court being judge for our “crime” yeah the trial is bullshit only one person there is guilty, the whole thing is just an excuse for the hostile gods to get rid of us, but anyway there is one major revelation apparently the god of illusion and the god of fey I think they kinda “tricked” us but before that let me give you some context, remember when I said that we went to the Fae wilds then the crow just teleport us to the fire plane yeah apparently a time compression happened for you who don’t know what that is time compression a rare phenomenon that can happen when you exist the Fae wilds, sometimes when you exist the fae wilds time might be a little fucky in the harmless case you can spend 10 days in the fae wilds but once you return you only spend 10 minutes in the normal plane but in our case the harmful case you can spend around 3 days in the Fae wilds but once we return we found out that instead we’ve been spending 10 years there, So yeah fun time compression. So anyway bane the god of chaos I think?, told us that the illusion god have been placing illusions right on our eyes to make us belive that nothing major had happened to the material plane but once the illusion is dispelled it turns out that the material plane is just a complete mess, people look weird, the moon is a lot bigger than before etc etc, bane tried to frame it as a betrayal but honestly I don’t really care they didn’t do anything bad they just try to shield us from the truth I guess?, but anyway another revelation is that in the last calamity things more less went like this too but Fey the god took matters into her own hands and proceed to posses a mortal (Fey the halfling) and somehow stopped the book of the end?, not really clear on the details but that’s what more or less happened, so anyway back to the trial after some negotiation (well I negotiated the rest of the party just try to suck the gods of evil ones at that), I made a conditioned deal with the gods, the deal stating that we are going to accept our “punishment” in hell but we can take 1 blessing from a willing god to help us in our odds of survival, then the rest of the gods eventually agrees, so long story short I made a deal with Lathandra the god of rebirth and life, I made a deal with her because we share a common goal that is to break down the borders and merge the planes together so no injustice can go unpunished and in the future it will be a lot easier to monitor 1 realm instead of like 5, and then Infelic (new guy btw honestly idk where he came from he was kinda there I’ll ask him at a later date) yeah he made a deal with the Raven queen idk what the deal entail they were kinda whispering well I am sure it won’t bite him in the ass at a later date and Grobnar made a deal with no one cause honesty at that point I just gave up on trying to understand him so who cares what he did, so we got sent to the wonderful place that his Hell.
So hell this wonderful place yeah immediately when I arrive there, I sense something is off I feel dumb like really dumb, then I look down and inspect my own body then I just realize that I got turned into a fucking mare a lowly hell servant but before I continue let me just tell you the how hell kinda works well the hierarchy at least
So there more less it went like this: cursed/dammed/weird beings<Imps<Spined devil<bearded devil<chain devil<bone devil<Horned devil<Erineyes< Ice devil<pit fiend<duke or dutches<archduke or archdutches
So how hell works is that the lesser devils imp until bone devil are kinda just slaves or soldiers to a greater devil and that only a greater devil can promote someone to a higher rank and stuff like that. So anyway I start of as mane who’s rank is lower than an imp so went there wondering off until we found this row of statues in the distance and after some investigating and sudden ambush we found out that these statues use to be living creatures that turn to stone and the creature who did this is about to fucking turn us to stone too, So I don’t exactly know what were fighting I am pretty I was too dumb to even remember directions at the time so I can’t really give you any advice on it, all you need to know is watch out for its tail sting cause they can turn you into stone like how Grobnar turned to stone after he just literally stand there like an idiot doing nothing when the creature is going in his direction, yeah see remember when I tell you that Grobnar is an idiot yeah this is all the prove you need I mean sure we’re all idiots in our mane form but I am sure that he is the dumbest mane alive at the time. So anyway Grobnar turned to stone then me and Infelic manage to beat the mane up to death Infelic sort of clawed at the creature meanwhile I throw rocks at is until it died, after his death we did a bit of looting but then there is the question of Grobnar, he was a stone but I do have an ability to break stone effects, but after some internal thinking I’ve decided that its just better to let him rot in hell, he deserved it honesty, And well funny thing despite all that he did I would still help him out if only he didn’t just gave up at the end. But anyway after some looting and creating a divine artefact that we called a GAB, we wondered off deeper in hell until we encounter another accursed thing called leemers I think and then after that a pit fiend showed up and sort of kidnap us into fighting for his war
So one kidnaping later we eventually found ourself in the abyss were we have to fight off and army of leemers for the pit fiend, and in here we meet an unknown devil yeah he is a unique character first of all he doesn’t know his own name but also he can speak too like me and infelic did, but anyway he turned out to be a useful ally as when we went off to fight those leemers thing it was proven that he can held his weight. But anyway one fight scene later the 3 of us manage to win the fight, Infelic helped with his spiritual weapon, no name helped with his aggressiveness, and I helped with my quick thinking. After that the pit fiend manage to win his own fight with the shadow demon and we all got promoted to lesser devils, Infelic got turn into an imp, no name got turn into a bearded devil and I got turn into a spined devil. So after our exciting promotion we’re told by the pit fiend to go to the upper layer and report to one of the archduchess, so after some traveling we got In bit of a crossroad see the stupid pit fiend don't really tell us where to go he said we can “Figure it out” yeah we fucking so like a said a crossroad there is 2 option that we can go to one of them is this shadowy creepy demonic castle and the other one is a citadel yeah we should’ve went for the demonic castle cause the citadel is a trap, apparently it's a arena thing for 2 pit fiend’s entrainment. So yeah any unfortunate soul who go in the citadel will get enslaved where they have to fight in an arena until they die. So anyway we’re in a jail cell now and in here we met a friend albeit a short lived friend, he doesn't really tell us his name but we call him Will, yeah I don't care what anyone said but this devil this bone devil is the greatest devil to have ever existed without him we would never be able to get out. Anyway after he explained some stuff about this place and how this place is filled with chain devils eventually a chain devil came in our cell and tell us to fight, now after we got in the arena I thought we would fight someone who is on our level but boy am I wrong it turns out we have to fight a fucking pit fiend yup welcome to hell I guess they are allergic to anything fair over here, so anyway after we’re just tickling the pit fiend dancing around him eventually this paladin came out of nowhere and stage a rescue plot for us, so after some fighting and SEVERAL close calls eventually all of us Infelic, Me and no name manage to get out from Hell. But there is something off when the paladin spawned in, something is wrong I don't know how to put it but I am sensing a Vague sense of familiarity coming from the paladin, I sense as if the demons of the past have come to haunt me in the present.
Alright look like I’ve finally found a book to write my damm stories the entire time I’ve just been remember them in my mind by using a special skill called google docs, anyway so after the mysterious paladin rescued me and Infelic, her name is ketsu btw, we are back in the material plane in the bag of holding. But I was so fucking tired from the hellish adventure that I took a long ass nap, now I know I shouldn’t be taking to many long naps anymore since the last time I took a nap the world kinda end, but I was really damm tired ok gods need sleep too, but anyway when I woke up the party was in this dangerous ass battle with a fucking golem, like godamm I just wake up can’t I catch a break fuck man, but let me give you the bare bones rundown on how we got here, according to the others the party decided to climb up the mountain that has the golem guardian thingy in order to continue searching for the golden falcon token, so this golem thingy is very unique well it is strong but he’s strong in a unique way so anyway after some observation it turns out that the golem have interesting defenses, so the key to beating this golem is 2 things, so the golem have like a glowing chest thingy on his chest and that thing represent a color and that color represent what type of damage can the golem well get damaged by, so the key to beating this thing is to translate and memories what color correlate to what type of damage, and just keep hitting it until its dead OR you can do it the Astral Antics way and overload the damm thing with lightning, so if you hit this Golem with a substantial amount of lightning damage it will explode and just die, but the explosion can hurt a lot of people to so be careful since I am an Astral I was pretty much fine. So anyway Golem defeated and this spirit golem thingy appears after scanning Hades, apparently Hades’s family is some important ass mf the dunbar name is suppose to be important, well now that I am looking back on things I probably should’ve connected the dots earlier, what dots you ask well I ain’t gonna fucking tell you read more of the book and you’ll find out, but anyway the Golem thing sort of apologize  for trying to kill us cause someshit with his programming went wrong and he went full on murder mode. So anyway we finally gain access to this temple village thing that suppose to store the falcon token. So I’ll just give you the rundown version of what happened, long story short the Vampire king Venerzar Dunbar order his henchman to murder everyone here and steal the falcon token for what reason you ask oh its going to be a stupid one once you know about it, but its not the reason you’d expect. Anyway after we learned that the token is in the hands of Vanizar we decided to somehow get to the shadow fell and take the token back, now the lead up to the events of the party getting teleported to the shadow fell is a bit blurry cause umm lets say I was a bit out of it at the time. So anyway before I was out of it I decided to suggest the idea that we resupply to a near city just to stock up someshit, me personally I want to get a diamond so I can cast revivify, some of the party doesn’t agree with me but I eventually convince them. Well shit did went wrong but cmon I couldn’t have predicted that a group of hell cats (Raksasha) is taking over the city, so anyway we enter the city then I spot there is a group of mysterious fuckers watching us, so I tell the party that (that’s a mistake don’t tell them shit they are blood lusting, murder hoboing assholes) but anyway one of the party members decide that its a good idea to shout at them (its ketsu btw), so he did and they came to us, now this isn’t exactly a bad move if done right, BUT NOOOO THE PARTY DECICEDED TO DID EVERYTHING WRONGG, not only they decide to be some fucking tough guy bullshit and try to intimidate the rakshasha I guess, one of them also started to call the raksasha a racist which piss them off, and one thing led to another, ketsu decided that its a good idea to challenge a raksasha to a fight, EVEN THO HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A RELIABLE MAGIC WEAPON YET AT THAT POINT, so the obvious thing happened Kestu get her ass beat and  toyed with since he barely dealt damage to the fucking cat since you know you You can’t fight a raksasha without a magic weapon so yeah he’s near losing but he pulls out this sword that he gain from the monk village earlier, and he start acting funny, well I have a bad feeling of what’s going to happened so I tried to stop her from using the sword, but this fucker called A fucking decked me in the face that cunt tried to fucking stop me, well guess what I was fucking right something bad did happened after ketsu pulled the sword out he passed out, and then the hell cats tried to force us into signing a contract which essentially states that in exchange for our safety they we can’t mess with their “buisness” I thought I did a good job by adding some additional clause and spotting out their hidden clause but I underestimated their cunningness, we signed the contract but kestu didn’t and the raksasha business is fucking slavery so they essantially kindap ketsu and we can’t do anything about it cause we’re under a blood contract, so anyway Ketsu got kidnapped and we have to sort of move on, after while we tried finding a map and went on to this shitty ass library and after that some spectral hand shit pull up and drag us into an unknown place, now remember the part where I was a bit out of it yeah I was out of it so details are a bit fucky in here but from what I can gather what happened is Ketsu made some deal with a god and he somehow release the the bind that Infelic have with black razor oh yeah speaking of those 2 let me just give you a little bit of a backstory with infelic. So from the start of him joining he always had this creepy as black sword but it turns out that black sword is sentiant and apparentnly wanted to kill ketsu So long story short the sword went wild but manage to get contained and ketsu somehow break the binding curse that the sword have over infelic, but another problem emerge you fuckers remember the pirate guy right black eye, yeah that loser is back and I am still out of it at the time so I can’t stop him this time, but essentially he manage to obtain black razor somehow. Then through some means we ended up in the fucking shadow fell.
So the party is in the shadow fell now how fun, So apparently we got stuck in misty Area ish of the shadow fell where anyone who doesn’t have some sort of special vision can’t see properly, so we got stuck here and while we’re just walking around the party discovered quite an interesting thing about Hades, apparently the entire time Hades has been a fucking dhampir, for those who don’t know dhampir are essentially half vampires, they are vampires with out most of the weakness and also with out most of the strength but anyway he’s a fucking vampire all along and his dad is the vampire king himself Victor fucking dunbar, yep he is the son of a vamp king, a vampire king that send assassins to fucking kill us. So yeah anyway after that whole revelation suddenly appearing out of nowhere is this skeleton dragonborn thing who is apparently Infelics former best friend, I say former cus apparently he betrayed him or smth idk. But he seems like a good enough person to me he passed the lying check so he should be fine, well anyway after that he decided to just tag along with us and after some travelling here and there, The party came across this wreckage thing like a caravan getting destroyed, and when the party tried to investigate somewhere else I manage to spot this weird shadow thing, and the others tried to just shrug it of and say that its just a shadow rock but I know that, that thing is more than a shadow rock and besides after the whole ketsu got kidnapped thing I concluded that the party’s survival instincts and their ability to make good decision are just non existent to I tend to trust myself more that the party. But anyway after some few what is would seem a like a crazy person blasting some rocks in turns out that I WAS FUCKING RIGHT ALL ALONG, that “shadow rock” was a death/shadow dragon in disguise all along. And I was prepare to blast that thing to smiterines but Hades choose the pacifist route, so instead of killing it he decide to calm it down first and after me and hades negotiation skills we manage to make a deal with it, in exchange for 24 hours of undisturbed rest (thanks to my private sanctum spell), the dragon would give the party a ride to dunbar castle which was very convenient, but anyway some dragon ridding time later we manage to regroup with ketsu and Riri (they somehow manage to annoy the hell cats so much that they were given their freedom back). Anyway after regrouping with them and after me, Ketsu, and Riri saw a man shed his skin and transform into a snake (its hades btw) we manage to arrive at Dunbar Castle.
So after arriving at Dunbar castle I cast private sanctum on the dragon and she’s now in deep sleep, oh and Ketsu have this weird relationship with the dragon, apparently he tried making the dragon into a pet but bro became the pet instead weird ass shit anyway we arrive there and after scouting the place out we met this suspicious druid dude that tells us that the castle is a bit unguarded, there are still guards but not the usual amount, but anyway after a few goofy moments some ethereal bird chase and the fact that Infelic’s former bestie dropped down to the endless abyss we manage to get into the castle, and after harassing a painting and Ketsu getting a 2 wishes (totally nothing will go wrong from this), we manage to find out where to go, now the next hour or so is a bit of blur for me see I was “out of it” again but all I know we just explore the castle some more then head where we need to go which is to the throne room/treasure but on our way there, there is this ethereal skeleton hydra dragon thingy that is blocking our way. Its a bit of a pain in the ass to beat but I am gonna tell you how to beat it so here’s how:
- That fucker will cast a force field that also extends to the ethereal plane idk if the force field can be broken or not but there is an alternative to go through it
- So the dragon essentially have 3 main attacks, a lightning shock to the ground so anyone who isn’t flying or in the ground will be affected, there is an upwards fire ball, and there is an icy blizzard, and how the dragon attack is that he opened a portal each time he attacks (except for the lightning one) and his eyes is gonna tell ya what attack he is going to use, so the key to beat him is that as soon as a portal appears you immediately jump through it that way you will be on the other side of the force field, then you just beat the shit out of that hydra, oh and the fucker is resistant to force damage so be careful when using those. But anyway eventually after Riri’s strong ass attacks we manage to beat it or so we thought. Apparently that fucker has a fucking phase 2 yeah a few moments later the raise up from the dead and distorts space, time, gravity, and some other bullshit, and a fun thing happened when he distorts space, we got exposed to the shadow fell effect, oh yeah btw if your fighting in the shadow fell you better finish it fast cause the shadow fell affect is real pain in the ass to deal with especially after 1 minute mark, so anyway most of us are blind now and can’t see shit. I was about ready to use my trump card and end that fuckers life but luckily Infelic have this sort of awakening, apparently after detaching himself from black razor (a zenith item btw I think), he got withdrawal syndrome and become stronger because of it, he is now this dark edgy knight thingy pretty cool tbh I like his new drip better than his old one. But anyway he appeared and dealt the second killing blow to the ethereal hydra dragon thingy I am just gonna call it EHD from now on, so after the EHD is defeated combat is over and were save, oh and some random guy called Eren Yeager I mean Kegen Yeager show up apparently he is a Titan from the devil Island wait now that’s not right, oh yeah wrong guy, so yeah  idk who the fuck he is all I know is some dude sent him on a quest for a certain thingy and he appeared from an Ethereal storm for now he seems good but I am not sure yet, gonna have to watch out for him in the future. So yeah Hydra defeated and after a short rest we go ahead and go fourth towards the throne room, in there we discovered Victors dirty little secret, we found his fucking diary, Nah but really there is nothing compromising  there just the fact that apparently HE IS A GOOD GUY, but he is the worst good guy EVER, bro out here sending assassins to kill us like we’re his opps but apparently he too was just trying to save the realms from collapsing, and he also is on a quest to close the book of the end, so yeah apparently bro skipped both ethics and diplomacy class cause he straight up went straight in to the genocide playthrough, so yeah we discovered that plot twist oh and also after reading his diary I just discovered that he isn’t as strong as I imagined him to be, I thought his pure strength is at least god level but that’s not the case at all he is just a strong vampire, still strong mind you but the fact that he isn’t god level is interesting, what I am trying to say is he is beatable or killable if anyone have some Sun spells, but anyway we eventually went deeper in his dungeon and after a few blood sacrifice and some banshee encounter we manage to get through his treasury, and after some looting and investigation we manage to find a suspicious looking chest, but that chest is FUCKING BOOTY TRAPPED AS FUCK, yeah ketsu got the most of the traps, one of the traps is even a power word kill spell or disintegration one of the 2, but yeah we manage to opened the chest after putting it in a unlocker hole?, idk what that is tbh, but the chest is now opened and we found the golden falcon token (still don’t know what it does), but in the process both Riri and Kestu got turned into pixies, and Idk when will they be back to Normal, but yeah after that I cast private sanctum and try to contact my father with no response, I am a bit worried but Astrals are iffy Immortals so I am not that worried, but the Astral chief guy did say that he hasn’t respawn yet so he is still alive I hope but that’s future me problem cause for now the party is just gonna take a long well deserved nap.
----
</tabber>