Nik Antropov

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Nik Antropov is a former center and left winger for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Easily the second best NHL player from Khazakstan of all time, he is nine feet tall, sixty-eight pounds, and is still trying to get rid of his teenage acne. His charity work includes visiting hospitals, but not on purpose. Rumour has it that he's actually a good hockey player now, but he plays in Atlanta, so who the hell knows. During his stay with the Leafs he fathered an illegitimate love child, named Yuri, with former linemate Alexei Ponikarovsky.