B90210-13

==Battletech 90210 - Chapter 13 -==
------
<<Next Chapter - Return to Story Index - Next Chapter>>
----
===Episode 13===
((scene opens in the Steiner-Davion dining room on New Avalon))
Galen: So who did you guys invite over for dinner?
Victor: Dad invited the Mariks.
Galen : Why them?
Victor: And the other options were?
Galen: (shrugs) Good point. (sounds of limo pulling up) I guess they're here.
Victor: (looks out window) Yup, there's Thomas...
Galen: Nope, that one is Thomas...
Arthur: Nope, he's Thomas. (pointing to the driver)
Victor: Nope.......he's the driver. What the devil has gotten into you?? Ever since you went to Wobbie school, your brain has gone right to stone.
Arthur: (thinking) **STONE......DEVIL STONE......DEV-LIN STONE...I like the sound of that (looks at Victor) That's not fair. This one time, at Wobbie school, we were being re-educated, and Ms. Waterly called Blake Brake by accident, and it was soooooooo funny, she got all mad and stomped around, and we just laughed and laughed. It was soooooo great.
Galen: O.....K.......Your parents are cool with me coming over right?
Victor: Kathy brought Vlad. Phelan brought his new chick, why shouldn't you and Cassie come over...
Galen: Remember when she saw your Dad's Battlemaster?
Victor: (wince) Oh yeah...MUST KILL!
Arthur: Well, one time, at Wobbie school, the ROM people were telling us we had to kill everyone, but they gave us all rubber knives to practice, and the blades bent every time we tried to kill each other, and it was sooooooo funny. WE just kept stabbing one another saying Hail Brake! We laughed sooo hard doing it to....and this one time at Wobbie school...
(Arthur suddenly tenses up, and then falls to the floor unconscious)
Victor: What the...good call on the tazer, Peter.
Peter: (holsters weapon) No kidding. Don't you think they might have gone a little overboard on the re-education there?
Victor: Maybe...Let's talk to Dad about it.
Peter: Why not Mom?
Victor: Mom, Kathy, and Yvonne are upstairs getting ready. Do you want to interrupt a Steiner woman in the middle of make-up?
((scene cuts to upstairs))
Kathy: I can't wait to marry Vlad. I've got this white dress all planned out.
Yvonne: We're not going to have to wear eye protection are we?
Kathy: (frowns) Nope, it will be pure as snow, just like me.
Security Guard: (off-camera) (coughs) BULL$#!^!
Yvonne: But aren't Vlad and Phelan genetically linked?
Kathy: Barely, why?
Yvonne: (southern drawl) Then you're going to marry your cousin. I thought only people from Arkansas and the Liaos did that.
Kathy: Silence! (Tries to slap Yvonne)
Melissa: Break it up! You two are sisters, and when I die, all you two will have is each other.
Yvonne: Don't say that Mom, you'll live to be 100.
Kathy: (Under her breath) Don't bet on it.
Melissa: What was that?
Kathy: I need a corset.
Melissa: Kathy, I want your word, that when I die, you'll take care of your sister.
Kathy: (smiles) Oh, yes mom.....I'll take GOOD care of my little sister.
Melissa: Now, I feel all warm like a fire.
Yvonne: ...and I feel all safe like a goat at the altar.
Melissa: Come on girls, get ready.
(Back downstairs)
Hanse: Welcome to the house, Thomas, so good to have you. The main dining room is down that corridor.
(twenty seconds later)
Hanse: Thomas, how did you sneak by me.
Thomas(#2): What do you mean?
Hanse: (confused) Weren't you just over.....(points down the corridor) Well, no mind there. Enjoy yourself.
(A few minutes later, the Steiner-Davions and the Mariks are all sitting down at an enormous banquet table)
Hanse: I'd like to propose a toast to Thomas Marik, and to Thomas Marik. May your schizophrenia finally restore all your personalities back into one body.
Thomas(#1): Funny, didn't I see a clone of you running around a few years back?
Hanse: That was a Liao thing, your excuse?
Thomas: (whispers) Wobbies.
Hanse: Did you say Wal Mart?
Thomas: No, that's a different clone invasion.....
Galen: Hey Isis, I am so sorry about you and Sunny boy breaking up...
Isis: I can't stand him! I hope he dies!
Victor: I can power up the Daishi.
Cassie: Must kill...must kill??
(Kathy hands Isis a cell phone)
Yvonne: Be careful with that cell phone, Isis, something nearby might explode.
Hanse: No kidding, I had to sell most of Melissia to the Jade Falcons to pay for all the exploding cars and cell phones around here...I swear, if we don't stop spending money, we're not going to have the power to run our own front lawns let alone our empire...
Kathy: Did someone say power?
Vlad: (To Hanse) Yes, I would happily take some of your power. (To Kathy) and perhaps a little of yours.
(Hanse pulls out a grease pen and tosses it to Vlad)
Hanse: Your funeral...
Vlad: We shall see freebirth.
(Vlad is then pelted by no less than six grease pens and an ancient kris blade)
Galen: Cassie, you throw the pen....
Cassie: (nods) I'm sorry.....(sobs) Hold me!
Kathy: I see you've upgraded to a ball of psychotic dementia.
Galen: She's different, Kathy. She has layers and cares a lot about other people...when she's not violently disemboweling people who scare her. Kathy, don't you care about others???
Kathy: (smiles) Of course! Well let's see, my hairdresser, my jeweler, my public relations person, my manicurist, my vinyl salesman, my tae-bo instructor, my...
Victor: Hey Peter, you still got that Tazer?
Pete: (shakes his head) This family. I'm so going back to the monastery. (To Victor) Sorry, it's out of power.
Kathy: Did someone say power?
Thomas#1 and Thomas#2 (together): Yes...
----
*; Note from the Author : I know Arthur-Steiner Davion is NOT Devlin Stone, but back when I first wrote this I was prepared to die on that particular hill. He's the One Steiner-Davion that never got a good endgame. Yvonne didn't really get one either, but she decided to go the 'peace, love and rebuilding' route, and that so screwed the Federated Suns down the line.But if there is a 120-year-old Yvonne on New Avalon growing flowers in a cottage near Mount Davion, I wouldn't be surprised.
----
<<Next Chapter - Return to Story Index - Next Chapter>>
12