Welcome to Campus

Welcome to Campus is the first episode of SBFW College.
==Plot==
SpongeBob Fanon Wiki moves into their dorms at Squidward Community College, and chaos ensues; Pluto has some relationship issues; Aaron bothers everyone with his new song of the day; Aidan tries to create his own Box Productions at the college.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with an open shot of Squidward Community College)
Luis: Welcome one, welcome all, to the opportunity of a lifetime! At Squidward Community College, all your fanon dreams can come true! Just remember to pay tuition or we’ll harvest your organs. Heheheh.
Pluto: Cool, coo- wait what was that last part?
(Cut to NotJoe in the campus basement, chained to the wall. Cut back.)
Luis: Don’t worry about it, for now.
Pluto: Good, because I was initially gonna worry about it.
(Suddenly a blue Maserati pulls up. CartoonGuy walks out.)
Jarvis Zagna: Enjoy your new life at college, son!
CartoonGuy: I probably won’t, but thanks anyway dad. I’m glad my organs are safe thanks to you.
Pluto: Just because I’m a Jew doesn’t mean I won’t pay.
(Laugh track, cut back to Jarvis Zagna)
Jarvis Zagna: Don’t mention it. I’ll miss those showers with you.
CartoonGuy: Dad! Stop embarrassing me on my first day!
Jarvis Zagna: Oh, right. Well um… see you at the first break!
(Jarvis Zagna speeds off with stereotypical Italian music (When The Moon Hits Your Eye) in the background)
(Cut to Aaron getting literally thrown off the coach to campus.)
Coach driver: If I hear the name “Ken Stringfellow” one more time, I’ll drive this bus into a crowd of people! 
(Coach driver drives away.)
Aaron: ow
Jess: Who’s Ken Stringfellow?
(Aaron pulls up a picture of Ken on his phone)
Jess: AWOOGA!a
Aaron: He’s a sex offender.
Jess: Yeah and I’m potentially a furry. We all have our quirks.
Aaron: what
Jess: Um… remember to pay your tuition or they’ll harvest our organs! (awkwardly swings arm)
(Cut to NotJoe again, he is noticeably thinner, cut back.)
Liz: Oh boy, college! Finally I can do what I want without my mom scolding me for it! Which is why I’m wearing a crop top and a skirt.
Forest: Hey Liz, have you seen my latest masterpiece, Patrick Fails at Going to College?
Liz: He cries like a baby right?
Forest: How'd you know?
Liz: magic
Forest: that gives me an idea for my next masterpiece, Patrick fails at magic!
Liz: Are you from the special ed class or something?
Forest: This is a special ed college.
Liz: …oh. Right, I forgot. By the way, what classes are you enrolled in?
Forest: English, hopefully to learn about writing more SBF episodes, Art, so I can make more title cards, and Politics.
Liz: …you? Politics?
Forest: I want to keep my options open.
Liz: Please for the love of god don’t end up like Golfpecks.
Forest: We’re friends on Discord.
Liz: Oh my god why.
Forest: Well, see ya later! (leaves for his dorm)
Liz: I wonder who he’s staying with.
Oreo: Meow.
Liz: I know, you’re coming with me, Oreo.
Oreo: meow
Aidan: MY CAT IS BETTER!
Jamie: hiss
Liz: Your cat smells the gayness in you.
Aidan: I AM NOT GAY!!!
(The drama teacher, Gamer Numbers, walks by.)
Gamer: Ah, Aidan! Excited to see you for our first Drama lesson sixth period! (walks off)
Aidan: YOU’RE GAY TOO! Isn't that right, Jamie?
Jamie: meow.
Skittles: I’m signed up for Vanessa’s music class. Man I hope she teaches us about the legendary Kid Cudi.
Jess: KID CUDI?! FROM ARIANA GRANDE AND SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2 UYTRDHUIOPLYRTHSDFGHJKL.OI,UYTBRDNFGHJIJUYFBG (collapses on the floor)
Liz: His name sounds STUPID!
Skittles: IT IS NOT STUPID! IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL!
Aaron: L.
Skittles: Shut up we’re literally roommates.
Liz: Can’t say I’m surprised you two are bunking together. …where are the dorms anyway?
(Cut to the dorms. A girl wearing a pink and orange shirt walks into one dorm. Pluto is already inside, blasting Sponge at full volume.)
Pluto: oh hey there
Lillian: This is room 420, right?
Pluto: Oh, you must be Lilly.
Lillian: Yes I am.
Pluto: You’re hot.
Lillian: I know it’s like twenty degrees outside or something.
Pluto: No I mean… I think I’m in lesbians with you. This is crazy but like… you wanna go out or something?
Lillian: Go out where?
Pluto: Oh for fuck’s sake.
(Cut to Aidan approaching the reception.)
Aidan: (slams his hand on the desk) Room 12, where the fuck is it?!
Receptionist: Literally just down the hall, sir. It’s one of the first rooms.
Aidan: Thank you.
(Aidan walks away to room 12)
Aidan: Ah, sweet sweet sanctuary… for Box Productions, that is. (laughs evilly)
Rocky: hey
(aidan shrieks)
Rocky: Sup (censored)?
Aidan: I’m white.
Rocky: I don’t care. You’re all (censored) to me. What’s a Box Productions?
Aidan: Oh it’s… nothing really.
Rocky: Cool. Hey wanna hear about the time i met this (censored)?
Aidan: I used to say that word all the time when there was a virus and even I want you to stop.
Rocky: It’s okay man, I’m black. (points to his skin, which is painfully pale) See?
Aidan: …either you have some serious personal issues or Paige isn’t the only color blind person around here. Also what's that on your head?
Rocky: Oh, this? It’s a swastika. Cool, right? I got this for only five bucks in the bargain bin!
Aidan: Not that. I'm talking about the other thing.
Rocky: Oh. I got a really bad head injury one time and they replaced my head with a lobster.
Aidan: I see.
Rocky: Seriously though, what the fuck is a Box Productions?
Aidan: Well, um… it’s kind of stupid but since you keep asking, it’s basically just my own small little business I wanna set up.
Rocky: Sounds lame.
Aidan: Yeah, kinda. But tuition is expensive and I really value my organs. I need them to eat Cheerios and Paw Patrol mac and cheese!
Rocky: That sounds really unhealthy.
Aidan: You say the n word every other sentence.
Rocky: (censored) I DO NOT!
Aidan: YOU JUST SAID IT!
Rocky: NO I DIDN'T!
(Paige peers around the doorway)
Paige: YOOOO ARE WE SAYING RACIAL SLURS! I SAY THOSE ALL THE TIME! (laughs her ass off)
(Cut to Aaron and Skittles in their new dorm room)
Aaron: This room is missing something.
Skittles: What?
Aaron: MUSIC!
Skittles: Kid Cudi?!
Aaron: No he’s shit.
Skittles: You what?
Aaron: TIME TO LISTEN TO TOUCHED BY KEN STRINGFELLOW INSTEAD!
Skittles: NOOOOOOOO
(Skittles continues screaming while an obnoxiously bass boosted version of touched by ken stringfellow plays; cut to Aidan and Rocky back in their dorm)
Aidan: (holding a box) This really speaks to me on a spiritual level, you know?
Rocky: You’re insane.
Aidan: Shut up. Anyway, this is the very first step for the college startup Box Productions.
Rocky: What are you gonna do with the box?
Aidan: This.
(Aidan jumps in the box and sits in it)
Aidan: This is amazing.
Rocky: Weirdo ass (censored).
Aidan: NO SLURS! Anyway, we need to hire new slaves- I mean, uh, workers, for my startup.
Rocky: I can threaten them with slurs.
Aidan: Works for me.
(Cut to the a-level algebra classroom.)
EB: Alright class, since today is our first day we are going to start off simple. Who can tell me… how many globes there are in this room?
Lillian: Oh that’s a hard one. There are no globes in the room. There are no globes.
EB: Are you… FREAKING KIDDING ME?! ZERO GLOBES?! LILLY, THERE IS ONE GLOBE IN THE ROOM! NOT 32 MILLION, NOT ONE, ZERO! ZERO GLOBES!!!!!!!
(Pan over to the back of the classroom)
Rocky: Pssssst, Liz?
(Liz is unfazed)
Rocky: Liz?
(...)
Rocky: I’M TALKING TO YOU, FUCKNUTS!
Liz: What? I’m trying to pay attention to the Algebra class my student loan and possibly my organs are paying for.
Rocky: Well if I told you there was another way to cover the debt?
Liz: I’m… listening I guess.
Rocky: We-
Liz: I’m gonna have to cut you off there for obvious reasons. That is the worst idea I’ve heard since Aaron suggested that I unblacklist him.
Aaron: HEY! UNBLACKLIST ME!
Rocky: B-but I didn’t even get to say what my idea was.
Liz: Forget it, it’s shit.
Rocky: (sighs) Fine. We instead ‘’kidnap’’ all the teachers and drug them all and force them to pay our tuition.
Liz: Still an awful idea.
Rocky: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME MAN? 
Aidan: Pssst! Rocky! I thought you were gonna indoctrinate Liz into our cult- I mean, startup business.
Liz: Still not interested.
Aidan: FUCK!
Aaron: UNBLACKLIST ME OR I’LL SPAM YOUR MAILBOX WITH STRINGFELLOW!
Liz: If you do that again I’m filing a restraining order.
EB: …And that’s why ice cream trucks caused 9/11. (Bell rings) AND DON’T FORGET YOUR HOMEWORK ON THE DICTATORSHIP OF ESB!!
Rocky: We’re in algebra class, dumbass!
EB: HEY! DON’T TALK BACK TO THE PROFESSOR!
Rocky: Why shouldn’t I?
EB: BECAUSE… BECAUSE… STUPID ADMINS! GO SEE THE SUPERINTENDENT IMMEDIATELY!
(Cut to Luis and NotJoe in the school basement. NotJoe is fucking dead. Cut back to Rocky in Luis’ office.)
(Luis walks back in, with a suspicious red stain on his tie.)
Luis: Mhm. Why are you here?
Rocky: I… talked back to EB.
Luis: Excuse me? That is not allowed. Not in my Christian community college.
Rocky: Actually it’s Squidward Community College.
Luis: Okay now you’re talking back to me. This will be your final warning before you are expelled from our school.
Rocky: GOD! THIS IS BECAUSE I’M BLACK, ISN’T IT?
Luis: …Rocky, you are not black.
Rocky: (gulps and quickly leaves)
Luis: (wiping sweat off his forehead) Phew, he didn’t notice.
(Cut to the college hallway, where multiple students are having conversations. Aaron is lingering on his own, wanting to do something)
Aaron: Any second now…
Dan: Hot damn, did you see Charli’s milkers on Insta this morning?
Pluto: Bro, we’re in school right now. Besides I don’t need Insta thots anymore, I have my own girlfriend now - Lilly.
Dan: I don’t care. MY LIBIDO IS INFINITE! I WANT TO FUCK HER TILL SHE’S-
(Pluto covers Dan’s mouth as the others stare at them)
Aaron: (clearing throat) I think Charli is hot as well. Speaking of hot, HERE IS MY SONG OF THE DAY!
(Aaron grabs a bluetooth speaker and starts blasting “Blood” by The Infection)
Dan: …this isn’t Charli XCX.
Aaron: Wait, you mean you haven’t heard of The Infection?
Dan: Infection? You mean like the Granolavirus?
Aaron: You’re a lost cause, Dan.
Dan: WELL? WHO IS THE INFECTION???
Aaron: Forget it man, forget it.
Pluto: Aaron, your music SUCKS!
Aaron: Nope. I have impeccable taste.
(Everyone starts throwing tomatoes at Aaron for some inexplicable reason)
Aaron: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING TOMATOES FROM?
Rocky: THE SALAD BAR, (censored!)
Aaron: Bro I’m literally white.
(Cut back to Aaron in his dorm, covered in tomato residue. Skittles enters)
Skittles: What’s wrong, man?
Aaron: Nobody liked my song of the day…
Skittles: Well your taste in music is pretty bad…
Aaron: No need to rub it in.
Skittles: If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t throw any tomatoes at you.
Aaron: Thanks man. By the way, do you want to hear tomorrow’s song of the day?
Skittles: Hell no. (throws a tomato at Aaron)
(Cut to Aidan and Rocky’s dorm, where Aidan has a student kidnapped in a chair)
Rocky: Okay, who’s the little gremlin you got here?
Aidan: It’s Forest. The most well-known fanon series staff member you know.
Rocky: I don’t know any of them. I’m disappointed to see that he’s white.
Aidan: I discriminate to everyone equally, it’ll work out.
Forest: Mmmhmm!
(Aidan rips off the duct tape from his mouth)
Forest: What am I here for?!
Aidan: You’re here to work for… Box Productions.
Forest: Hey! You’re the guy from earlier who Liz’s cat can smell the gayness out of!
Aidan: I AM NOT GAY!
Forest: Look man, there is nothing wrong with being ga-
Aidan: Okay fine, if I say I’m gay will you join my company?
Forest: Will I get paid?
Aidan: Uhh sure, but only in Hooplabucks. (whispers) They’re not legal tender.
Forest: Aw poop.
Aidan: As your first job as a Box Production sla- I mean employee, you must write for the third Meme World Movai.
Rocky: A movie?
Aidan: Movai. 
Rocky: About a world of memes? And this is the third one in the series?
Aidan: You pick up on stuff fast.
Forest: I like memes. Especially the ones on Facebook.
Aidan: Great, I don’t care. Time’s a wasting!
(Aidan gives Forest an ancient computer and makes him get on the movie document)
Forest: Jeez, this is already twelve pages.
Aidan: And it’ll be at least seventy!
Forest: (gulps)
(The bell rings)
Aidan: Welp, I hate to leave so quickly but that’s the bell. Good luck on the movai!
Forest: But I’m supposed to have my Politics class next!
Aidan: FULL STEAM AHEAD! THIS MOVAI WON’T WRITE ITSELF!
Forest: (sighs and starts typing away)
(Cut to the school cafeteria; Pluto walks in with a tray full of food)
Pluto: Hey Lilly, I bought you some pretzels-
(Pan over to Lillian’s table, where she is sitting there kissing another woman)
Pluto: Um… am I interrupting something?
Lillian: Oh, uh… hi Pluto.
Pluto: Um.. who’s this?
Lillian: Oh, this is… um, a friend.
Pluto: Uh-huh. She, um… a close friend?
Lillian: Well this is quite an awkward time to confess, but… I’m a lesbian!
Pluto: (dramatically) NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jasbre: (showing up in a trench coat) Ayy does anyone wanna buy some drugs? I got marijuana, marijuana, cocaine, and even mp3 files!
Pluto: Welp, if there’s a time to start it’s now. (gives Jasbre some money and Jasbre gives him a joint, which he smokes)
(Cut to Pluto sitting over at a table with Skittles and Aaron.)
Pluto: -she was the love of my life and then, BAM! She’s a lesbian.
Skittles: Didn’t you only just start going out with her this morning?
Pluto: Well actually I didn’t know she existed until this morning. But that’s not the point.
Aaron: You should do what I always do when I’m down - sign up for a RateYourMusic account.
Pluto: What’s that?
Aaron: Well, it’s a website… where you can rate your music. LIKE MY SONG OF THE DAY - BLOOD BY THE INFECTIO-
(Pluto throws a tomato at Aaron)
Aaron: THEY’RE NOT EVEN SERVING TOMATOES FOR LUNCH TODAY! Anyway RateYourMusic is fun. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Please.
Pluto: You fuck cows, I don’t trust you at all.
Aaron: Okay, that thing with that ONE COW, WAS A ONE TIME THING! OKAY?!
Pluto: Once a cow offender, always a cow offender.
Aaron: THAT IS FALSE! FALSE I SAY! Besides, sexual intercourse with cows is legal in India. I think. Maybe. I don’t know.
Pluto: You’re sounding quite like Sharko right now.
(Cutaway to Sharko scuba-diving with a group of sharks.)
Sharko: So, you come here often?
(The sharks fucking eating Sharko and he fucking dies. Cut back to the cafeteria. Aidan walks over to the table.)
Aidan: HEY ANYONE WANNA JOIN MY SMALL BUSINESS?!
Pluto: No.
Aaron: What kind of small business?
Aidan: Um, well… 
(Aaron grins)
Aidan: What? What’s with- why do you have that look on your face?
Aaron: Aidan, have you heard of RateYourMusic?
Skittles: AIDAN DON’T DO IT IT’S A TRAP!
Aidan: No I have not heard of it.
Aaron: You should make an account. 
Aidan: Wait this is just an attempt to get me to listen to your song of the day, isn’t it?
Aaron: Eh, I’m past that now.
Skittles: Oh thank fuck.
Aaron: Now it’s all about my playlist of the day!
(Skittles throws an entire crate of tomatoes onto Aaron.)
Aaron: LISTEN TO MY PLAYLIST, AIDAN, AND I WILL JOIN YOUR COMPANY!
Aidan: Nah, I don’t really feel like it.
Aaron: DO YOU WANT WORKERS OR NOT?!
Aidan: (sighs) Fine, I’ll listen to your stupid ass playlist. But only if you listen to mine.
Aaron: Deal.
(The two reluctantly shake hands. Cut to Aaron listening to Aidan’s playlist in his dorm. Aidan is doing absolutely nothing except eating pasta)
Aidan: Man, this pasta is good.
Aaron: (wincing in pain) When are you going to listen to my playlist, Aidan?
Aidan: (yawns) Eventually. Sleepy time now.
(Aidan goes to his bed and starts sleeping. Aaron sighs; cut to Pluto and Lilly’s dorm)
Pluto: So… this is kinda awkward, huh?
Lillian: Yuh.
(Pause)
Pluto: I… I guess we’re not dating anymore?
Lillian: I guess not. That girl I was with is cuter than you anyway. Like, have you seen how big that ass is?
Pluto: Hey, I have a big ass too!
Lillian: I’m sorry, I just really don’t like boys. (smirks)
Pluto: So we good?
Lillian: Yeah. If it’s okay I’m gonna ask if I can change dorms though. I like you… it’s just that this would probably just be awkward.
Pluto: Yeah, I understand. I wonder who’s gonna be bunking with me from now on though.
(Cut to Jess setting up a Rouge the Bat poster in the dorm)
Jess: There! Perfect!
Pluto: I hate this.
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