Herschel Klein/Dialogue

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==BS02_MQ03_Blue==
#	Dialog Topic	Form ID	Response Text 	Script Notes
 	 	 	Eh, no. Last time I stocked that, fifteen pack Brahmin were left up on the roller coaster at Wavy Willards. How about a beer instead? 	No way. Recommendation is not really a question.
 	 	 	Okay then, nice and simple, coming right up. 	
 	 	 	One of America's finest, coming right up. 	
 	 	 	Uh... I've got a container of nuclear waste in the back, but you don't look like much of a Ghoul to me. So... how about a whiskey for now.	Yikes, trying to make light, but what's this guys problem?
 	 	 	Neat? Well, you sure as shit aren't getting it on the rocks. 	Chuckle to self. Not mad, just poking fun.
 	 	 	Oh boy, a customer! What can I get for you? 	
 	 	 	Okay, here you go, enjoy. 	Uncaring
==BS02_BlueRidgeOffice_Dialogue==
#	Dialog Topic 	Form ID	Response Text 	Script Notes
 	 	 	A new face. Wonderful! The shlumps around here were getting pretty boring. 	A welcome change to boredom
 	 	 	Hello there. What're you having? 	Friendly
 	 	 	Welcome back, welcome back. Always happy to have a returning patron. 	Friendly
 	 	 	Need a little breather from all those caravan runs you've been doing? Can't blame you. 	Impressed by the player
 	 	 	Herschel Klein, author, reveler of life, aspiring playwright, and on certain occasions, bartender... at your service. 	Full of himself. Note: he's really only ever tending bars
 	 	 	Take your pick from "Herschel's Curated Liquors of Choice," comprised entirely of whatever I happen to find today. 	Starts proud, slips into under breath
 	 	 	You're really starting to get that Brahmin dung fragrance like the rest of this sorry lot. Keep up the good work, I guess. 	Grossed out, but trying to be nice at the end
 	 	 	Keep showing up around here and I might even remember your name. So what's the news? 	Friendly
 	Never mind. 	 	Yeah, yeah. Leave poor old Herschel to slinging schnapps. Go on then. 	Tiny violin playing
 	 	 	His writings stink! They stink I'm telling you. 	
 	 	 	And he doesn't haunt much better either, believe me. I've had better hauntings after eating one of Rudy's spoiled soups. Kept me up all night! 	
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	You know that guard we got, Aries? He's got an encyclopedic knowledge of everything strange: cryptids, aliens, killer robots. 	Telling a secret, but he's full of BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	I've been working on a theory: he IS an alien. His spaceship was destroyed when the bombs fell, and now he's stuck working for us just to get by. 	All BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Poor guy. Must miss his home planet something awful. 	Sympathetic
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	So the Brotherhood of Steel, right? I heard a rumor it's all fake. Just a traveling theater troupe. They've got a different con in every town. 	Telling a secret, but he's full of BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	One of my regulars said he saw that Paladin Rahmani lady doing a trapeze act down in Florida. True story! 	All BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Here's a crazy one: Brahmin might have two heads, but only one brain... and it's in their udders. Seriously, Rudy told me. 	Telling a secret, but he's full of BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Speaking of Rudy, you ever ask what's in those pepperoni rolls? Human flesh. Heard him slip up and call them "peopleroni rolls" once. I swear! 	All BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Rumor has it that the folks in the Crater are actually astronauts that came down with that space station... but their mission is top secret. 	Telling a secret, but he's full of BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Or, at least, that's what one of them told me last time they mugged me. Said he couldn't tell me what the caps were for. Highly classified. 	All BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Here's one I heard: we're all just living in a simulation. 	Telling a secret, but he's full of BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	That's right: none of this is real. Die here and you'll just wake up in a memory lounger somewhere in Hoboken, New Jersey. 	All BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	To be honest, I'm not sure which reality is worse! Ha-ha-ha! Thank you, thank you... I'm here all week! 	Telling the punchline to a cheesy joke
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	You know them ghouls? Well, I heard the bombs got nothing to do with it. It's just a side effect of drinking too much Nuka-Cola. 	Telling a secret, but he's full of BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Really, a dentist came through here telling me all about it. Said sugary drinks work a number on your teeth a few years, then, pow, you're a ghoul.	All BS
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	Rumors? What do I look like, some kind of barkeep? 	A little insulted
 	Heard any rumors lately? 	 	I mean, I am, but, really, do I look like one? I'm trying to keep my style a little fresh. 	Fooling around
 	What is the Blue Ridge Caravan Company?	 	Always with the questions about Blue Ridge. Never "hello, fine barkeep, what's your story?" 	A little annoyed
 	What is the Blue Ridge Caravan Company?	 	No one's interested in reading the latest draft of "My Life at the End of the World: A Herschel Klein Story." 	Going on a tangent
 	What is the Blue Ridge Caravan Company?	 	With a special foreword written by Billingsley of the Bolton Greens. 	Out of the side of his mouth, and as if the player is meant to be impressed
 	What is the Blue Ridge Caravan Company?	 	Fine. The Blue Ridge Caravan Company is a caravan company. Hard as it is to believe, given its incredibly cryptic and non-descriptive name, I know.	Sarcastic
 	What is the Blue Ridge Caravan Company?	 	People pay us money to get things from one place to another place. If you want work, head over to the East side of the tunnel and talk to Vinny. 	Impatient
 	 	 	You know, not half bad. And, you want to know something else I just heard? 	
 	 	 	I heard that there's an intelligent and civilized mole rat society that lives underneath Appalachia. Lovely architecture, too. I kid you not! 	
 	 	 	Yeah, yeah. Leave poor old Herschel to slinging schnapps. Go on then. 	Tiny violin playing
==Moon_SQ05_Herschel==
#	Dialog Topic 	Form ID	Response Text 	Script Notes
 	On second thought, nevermind. 	 	It's a good show. But go ahead then, and live with your regret. Doesn't make a difference to me. 	
 	Sure, this doesn't sound crazy at all. But I'll do it. 	 	I know, I know, I sound like a schmuck. Can't you see I'm desperate though. I'm begging you. Many thanks and yada yada yada. 	
 	I found your ghost writings. Here you go. 	 	What? You did? I can't believe it. You mean they actually exist? Alright, who's the comedian? 	
 	Another time, maybe. 	 	Fine, be that way, but Herschel Klein never forgets! 	
 	Vinny sent me. He says you're not working up to his standards.	 	Ha! Vinny? Standards? I'm surprised he even knows the word, between you and me. 	
 	Vinny sent me. He says you're not working up to his standards.	 	Actually, you know what, I'm glad he's furthering his education. Applaud him even! 	
 	Vinny sent me. He says you're not working up to his standards.	 	But, uh... he's right, though. I am in a bit of a rut these days. And, ooh, do I hate it when he's right. 	
 	Let's back up. Are you kidding me? 	 	Whether it's real or whether it's a joke, what does it matter? 	
 	Let's back up. Are you kidding me? 	 	It's not like I want to steal his ideas, I just want to "borrow" a few. For good luck and inspiration. And any extra you find, for good measure.	
 	Let's back up. Are you kidding me? 	 	That doesn't hurt nothing, does it? 	
 	Just get back to serving the wine, instead of drinking it. 	 	Ha! Oh uh, you're serious? 	
 	Just get back to serving the wine, instead of drinking it. 	 	You know, if I wasn't so busy being pathetic, I'd really give you knock in the... eh, who am I kidding. Help me out, will you? 	
 	Why do you want a ghost's writings again? 	 	Look, I know you don't believe me. I barely believe me too. 	
 	Why do you want a ghost's writings again? 	 	Thing is though, those writings might be exactly what I need to cure my writer's block. 	
 	Why do you want a ghost's writings again? 	 	Herschel needs his inspiration, I'm begging you! 	
 	Enough already, get back to work. 	 	Wait a minute, how do you know I'm not working? Oh, ok I get it, Vinny has you checking up on me hasn't he? 	
 	Enough already, get back to work. 	 	Yeah, that makes sense. I've just been schlepping around lately. 	
 	Enough already, get back to work. 	 	Can't believe I'm this far gone for Vinny to notice. Fine, it's not what you think though. 	
 	 	 	See, I've got a nasty case of writer's block. Honest, I'm telling you, I'm on the rocks. 	
 	 	 	Is life worth living if you can't share your brilliance and beauty with the world? You know, I think I just figured out what I need though. 	
 	 	 	I know this sounds crazy, but listen, rumor has it that there's uh... this ghost... that, well... uh writes. Or wrote. 	
 	 	 	Is it writes or wrote? If it's a ghost would it be past tense... anyway, nevermind that. 	
 	 	 	His name's Jacque or something or other. You ever heard of Torrance House? 	
 	 	 	Sounds like he just litters the place with pages of his writings. Remarkable writings might I add. Hey, if he doesn't want them I'll take them! 	
 	 	 	Go have a look around that house for me, and bring me back some of those writings. That's the ticket! 	
 	Don't mention it. Happy to help. 	 	To show you my gratitude, I'll make mention of you in one of my stories. 	
 	Don't mention it. Happy to help. 	 	Trust me, not many people are lucky enough to make it into a Herschel Klein tale! 	
 	 	 	I'll be honest. I think this did the trick. Herschel's back baby! In mind, body and spirit. 	
 	 	 	Ha, "spirit", you see?! It's working already! 	
 	 	 	Oh... and spirit like the drink... triple entendre! A new record! 	
 	 	 	Seriously though, thanks. 	
 	Well you see, Jacque was actually a malfunctioning robot. 	 	Ha! You mean to tell me... a robot... that's priceless. Here I was thinking a ghost is actually out there writing books and all. 	
 	Well you see, Jacque was actually a malfunctioning robot. 	 	You know, let's just keep this a secret between you and me. 	
 	[Lie] Not kidding. Jacque, and his writings are the real deal.	 	Well I'll be. The chances of something like that. One in a million! 	
 	[Lie] Not kidding. Jacque, and his writings are the real deal.	 	You don't think he'll come to haunt me now do you? Meh, what'll it matter, maybe he could be my ghostwriter. 	
 	Sorry, I haven't found them yet. 	 	Tough break, for the both of us. 	
 	Sorry, I haven't found them yet. 	 	Just give the grounds around Torrance House a look for them please. 	
 	That's the spirit! 	 	Ha! Listen to us! We sound like two loonies, don't we. I thought I recognized you from the nuthouse! 	
 	Shut up and just get back to work now will ya. 	 	Jeez, alright, take it easy. Herschel do this... Herschel do that. Fine, whatever. May the drinks be poured again. 	
 	 	 	See you around, alright. 	
 	 	 	Where was I? Oh, right! 	
 	 	 	Meh, all right. 	
 	 	 	What, are you here to watch the show? "A Paltry and Pitiful Putz", starring yours truly, the washed up has-been... Herschel Klein. 	
 	 	 	Wait a minute, have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, about that, any luck?! 	
 	 	 	Not now, I'm in the middle of a thought. You should go see Vinny. 	
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Category:Once in a Blue Moon dialogue files