List of Wasted Youth Characters

All pupils are listed in alphabetical order. The information and character portraits below (for the pupils only) can be accessed via any in-game school computer by using Mr. Andrews' login details (username: mr_andrews, password: fidelio) and opening the "School Records" program. Remember that these are student records and they are all written in Mr Stouffer(The Headmaster)'s point of view.
==Pupils==
=== The Player ===
Description: N/A
His birth-date is unknown.
Behaviour: N/A
Illness Records: N/A
Areas for Improvement: N/A
The main character you play as. The only known information about him is that he was expelled from his previous school for his huge time spent playing computer games.
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=== Adrian ===
Description: Adrian is a talented young sportman who seems to ignore all other subjects in favour of his training. He is intelligent enough to do well in academic subjects, but seems convinced he will become a famous footballer.
His birth-date is 04/09/1996.
Behaviour: He is well-behaved and is one of the pupils Mr. Bastard seems to have respect for.
Illness Records: No illnesess
Areas for Improvement: He must be convinced that academic subjects are less important than sports. This may be difficult. He believes he is going to be the next David Beckham and aims to match him in every way, including intelligence.
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=== Anabelle ===
Description: Anabelle is a proper little madam. She sees herself as above anyone who isn't rich and believes lessons are unimportant, as she thinks she can make it through life using her father's money.
Her birth-date is 09/10/1995.
Behaviour: She is uninterested throughout all her lessons and is usually among the first to leave.
Illness Records: She refuses to go into the nurse's office because it is 'dirty'.
Areas for Improvement: The only way she will improve is if her parents take away her money. They refuse to do this because she is their 'little princess'.
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=== Brian ===
Description: Brian is laid back and seems unconcerned about anything. This is troublesome when it comes to his schoolwork. He only does the work he thinks he needs to do to get by (sometimes this work falls short).
His birth-date is 09/08/1996
Behaviour: He does not misbehave, but has an air of rebellion about him. WATCH HIM CLOSELY.
Illness Records: No illness.
Areas for Improvement: He is capable of getting the grades he needs, but only as long as he is prepared to do the work.
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=== Bethany ===
Description: Bethany is a rich girl who gets everything she wants. She annoys me. Why can't I get what I want? She is not particularly obnoxious but she is used to be the best. The facilities here may be a cultural shock.
Her birth-date is 01/09/1996
Behaviour: She is well behaved and shows a genuine desire to learn, albeit only occasionally.
Illness Records: A couple of rashes from wearing fur underwear.
Areas for Improvement: She is capable of getting the grades she needs. I don't believe she will be a problem.
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=== Chris ===
Description: Chris shows no interest in anything whatsoever. I have seen him stand in the same spot for hours on end. I have advised the teachers to give him the occasional prod to make sure he isn't dead.
His birth-date is 07/10/1995
Behaviour: I find it difficult to write a behaviour report for someone who never does anything.
Illness Records: Cramp and bed sores.
Areas for Improvement : Activity of any kind would be an improvement. I wonder if he had some sort of trauma in his childhood...
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=== Casey ===
Description: Casey says she has based her appearance on Karen O of the 'Yeah Yeah Yeah's'. Miss Minerva says she wishes Casey was a little bit older. I have no idea what either of these mean.
Her birth-date is 07/03/1996.
Behaviour: She has a smart mouth, which can get her in trouble. Miss Minerva often keeps her behind after class.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: Grades are showing slow improvement, but she is coming ahead leaps and bounds in foreign languages.
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=== Dave ===
Description: N/A
His birth-date is unknown.
Behaviour: N/A
Illness Records: N/A
Areas for Improvement: N/A
((Note: Dave is your best friend and helper in the game. He has no file on the school database for some reason. Fans have theorized he may not even be a real person, but possibly a ghost or spirit. There's many evidence in-game that this might be true.))
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=== Daria ===
Description: Daria has certain beliefs that many people would find objectionable. She is disgusted by any nationality that isn't her own and would probably believe Hitler was right if it wasn't for the fact he was German.
Her birth-date is 03/02/1996.
Behaviour: Several pupils and members of staff have complained about her racist abuse, but she seems unable to understand why it is frowned upon.
Illness Records: Was once physically sick after eating a croissant.
Areas for Improvement: There is no hope for her and for this, I blame her parents. I spoke to her father and not only does he hold the same beliefs as her, he thinks the world is flat.
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=== Eugene ===
Description: Eugene is a disgusting, fat, ginger kid. I don't like fat people but to be ginger is even worse. Avoid him wherever possible. Note to self: I should change this description before Ofsted sees it.
His birth-date is 05/05/1996.
Behaviour: I think he is greedy, but my staff said he has a developed palate and is always trying new foods. He helped improve our school meals, so I guess I owe him that.
Illness Records: Stomach bug after eating a caterpillar.
Areas for Improvement: His school work remains average but, his cooking skills are unprecedented. This fat kid will probably become a fat chef.
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=== Elaine ===
Description: Elaine seems to spend her life rather than making any effort to relate with people. When she does speak with anyone, she only speaks about books.
Her birth-date is 07/11/1995.
Behaviour: When she first started, her behaviour was influenced by whatever book she was reading at that moment. This was proven problematic when she was reading 'A Clockwork Orange'.
Illness Records: Eye strain.
Areas for Improvement: Her behaviour is no longer influenced by books. The teachers are now teaching her by slipping school books into her bag.
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=== Fred ===
Description: Fred is the stupidest person I have ever met. I have met more intelligent corpses. He is capable of forgetting things that people told him just minutes before and has a disturbing preoccupation with shiny things.
His birth-date is 01/06/1996
Behaviour: I can't help but think his stupidity is a front, a disguise. Nobody can truly be that dumb? MAYBE HE'S A SPY.
Illness Records: Tends to walk into things. We have also held him in for brain testing.
Areas for Improvement: I don't know what to say. The nurse says he has no evidence of having a mental illness, so there's no treatment possible. His future is uncertain.
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=== Faye ===
Description: Faye is another spoiled little rich kid but she seems to have much more self-awareness than her peers. She will mix with the poorer pupils and has a good sense of humour.
Her birth-date is 26/07/1996.
Behaviour: She pays attention during class and has a genuine desire to learn. it seems her biggest fear is to end up like Paris Hilton.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: When she first game here, she wasn't sure what to do with her life. Her mind had been messed up by too much exposure to rich idiots, so her time here has been greatly beneficial.
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=== Guy ===
Description: Guy is from America but for some reason he has decided this should define his personality. He has purposefully turned himself into a stereotype to give himself an identity.
His birth-date is 15/09/1995
Behaviour: His behaviour depends on which American state he has decided to base his personality on on any given day.
Illness Records: Self-inflicted gun wound.
Areas for Improvement: He seems under the impression that Americans are stupid, so his grades are poor. We are working hard to help him discover his real personality.
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=== Grace ===
Description: Grace stinks. Seriously. The reason she failed at previous schools is because her teachers couldn't stand to be in the same room as her. My staff have undergone training so that they can withstand her stench.
Her birth-date is 24/12/1995.
Behaviour: She is not particularly bad behaved and everyone is becoming used to her smell now, so there are fewer instances of spontaneous puking.
Illness Records: Medical tests have not revealed the source of her smell.
Areas for Improvement: I once considered selling her to the Government for use as a biological weapon. Her grades are getting better, but I might suggest this to her as a future career idea.
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=== Harold ===
Description: Harold was in quite a state when he got here. He had locked himself in his room for several days, playing internet games and going on forums to do something he described as "flaming noobs".
His birth-date is 19/08/1996.
Behaviour: We are getting his gaming habit down to a few hours a day. It seems he started playing so much because he finds it hard to make friends.
Illness Records: Permanent acne.
Areas for Improvement: He is beginning to develop real skills in programming and even engineering. I feel it will be most productive to focus on these skills.
Editors Note: he would do WONDERS on 4chan I'm telling you dawg
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=== Heather ===
Description: Heather had social problems when she first came here because everyone she knew kept telling her she was beautiful and better than everyone else. She began to believe what they said and turned into a total bitch.
Her birth-date is 01/08/1996.
Behaviour: She has overcome her previous problems and returned to her previous, friendly personality.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: Heather is on track to getting all the grades she needs. No problems here.
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=== Ian ===
Description: Ian is an egotistical young man who believes he is God's gift to women. He seems to think this is the only skills he needs in life. We are trying to convince him that unemployment isn't that attractive.
His birth-date is 15/05/1996.
Behaviour: His entire life seems to be focused on the time when he reaches the legal age of consent.
Illness Records: Thong injury.
Areas for Improvement: He now seems to realize academic knowledge is necessary to make it in life, but seems destined to live a life of unfulfilling sexual conquests. BASTARD.
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=== Irene ===
Description: Irene shuns most forms of social interaction, preferring to be by herself. She does talk in the class and will speak when spoken to, but seems to be preparing herself for a life as a hermit.
Her birth-date is 19/03/1996.
Behaviour: She spends a lot of time learning about self-sufficiency. She tends to sleep anywhere other than her own dormitory bed.
Illness Records: Unknown, she tends to treat any injuries herself.
Areas for Improvement: Her grades remain average. She does the work but seems uninterested in any academic subjects.
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=== Joey ===
Description: JOEY IS A GOOD BOY. JOEY IS MY FRIEND. I LIKE JOEY. JOEY CAN READ MINDS. THIS HAS HAD ABSOLUTELY NO EFFECT ON MY REPORT ON JOEY.
JOEY'S BIRTH-DATE IS 27/05/1996.
Behaviour: JOEY IS A GOOD BOY. EVERYBODY LIKES JOEY. JOEY IS MY FRIEND.
Illness Records: JOEY NEVER GETS ILL.
Areas for Improvement: JOEY IS A GOOD BOY. JOEY IS A GOOD BOY. JOEY IS A GOOD BOY.
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=== Janet ===
Description: Janet is a very friendly person and is totally well-adjusted. The only reason she is here is that she basically isn't very intelligent. We will help her get the grades she needs.
Her birth-date is 08/09/1996.
Behaviour: Again, she is a very pleasant individual who gets on with everyone. Even Mr Bastard tends to be not so mean to her.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: Her grades are on the increase, so no worries. She could probably be anything she wants to be.
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=== Kevin ===
Description: Kevin comes from a rough area and he is rougher than most. He received an Asbo on his first birthday and he is here on release from a young offender's institute.
His birth-date is 17/04/1996.
Behaviour: He often gets into fights. I fear his crimes are progressing from mere thievery to mugging and robbery.
Illness Records: He has been treated for cuts and bruises, but full details are not available because he stole his records.
Areas for Improvement: His grades have taken a sudden sharp rise recently and he has became one of our best pupils. I fear this is because he realizes the profitability of white-collar crime.
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=== Kim ===
Description: Kim is an incredibly athletic young woman and, in fact, is the best sports player in the school. She often has tips for other pupils on how to improve their health and fitness and is actually a better teacher than Mr Bastard.
Her birth-date is 17/02/1996.
Behaviour: I am glad to have someone like her at the school. It was luck for us as the bad grades she got at her last school had come as a complete surprise.
Illness Records: Minor sports-related injuries.
Areas for Improvement: Another pupil who is expected to get good grades and get on well in life. I doubt, in fact, that she actually needed our specialist help.
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=== Lou ===
Description: Lou is an enigma. He takes interest in subjects and topics that nobody has. He is very tuned in to the state of the world and speaks openly about his own personal experiences.
His birth-date is 12/04/1995.
Behaviour: Mr Andrews hates him with a passion. During music lessons he will constantly experiment with feedback and distortion.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: He seems destined to become a musician of some sort - I'm just concerned he will not be everyone's taste.
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=== Lilly ===
Description: Lilly was deeply unhappy when she first came here and the reason soon became clear: alcohol. Unlike everyone I've ever known, she becomes smarter the more she drinks.
Her birth-date is 30/11/1995.
Behaviour: She is now drunk all the time. Mr Ross and Mr MacDougal have complained about the amount of puke they have to clean.
Illness Records: Seems immune to alcohol poisoning.
Areas for Improvement: Her last school would not let her drink and her grades were poor. We supply her with booze and she is now getting straight A's. Result!
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=== Michael Corleone Jr. ===
Description: Michael concerns me greatly. He continually speaks about family and respect, and what he'll do to anyone who breaks his trust. We must try to steer him away from this sort of thing.
His birth-date is 07/07/1996.
Behaviour: I know little about his family. All his father told me when he enrolled was if I fail him, I'll be sleeping with the fishes.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: His grades are getting better but his behaviour still worries me. He will either grow up to be a great man or a killer, possibly both.
((Note: In his side-mission it's revealed his full-name is Michael Corleone Jr. as written on the letter from his father. This actually makes Michael the only pupil in the whole school who has an official last name that we know of. Letter below this note (Click for better quality):))
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=== Monica ===
Description: Monica appears to have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She is obsessed with cleaning and hygiene. Mr Ross often finds that she does a lot of his work before he has a chance to.
Her birth-date is 18/09/1995.
Behaviour: There have been a few instances when her condition proved a problem. Once she erased all the words in her textbook, and another time when she was up all night polishing her bed's headboard.
Illness Records: Once tried to clean her mouth with a bar of soap.
Areas for Improvement: We have been unable to get her condition under control but the school has never been so clean.
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=== Nate ===
Description: Nate is popular with just about every pupil in the school and I have no idea why. All he seems to do is to brag about how cool he is. Perhaps I should try this for myself.
His birth-date is 13/08/1996.
Behaviour: Nate is quite aggressive towards anyone who doesn't like him - worryingly so. He hasn't been physically violent so far.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: He needs to cool down a bit before he ends up hurting someone, or himself.
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=== Nikki ===
Description: Nikki scares me. She behaves like a young version of one of those prostitutes I picked up in Vietnam. Note to self: Erase that comment later. Her capacity for deviancy is terrifying.
Her birth-date is 23/06/1996.
Behaviour: Some of the more softly spoken pupils have complained about her graphic language.
Illness Records: I'm too scared to look.
Areas for Improvement: She seems deeply unhappy at times and her grades suffer as a result. She will probably much happier when she hits the age of consent. It is likely that she will be a real man-eater, possibly literally.
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=== Owen ===
Description: Owen comes from an unbelievably poor background and has come on leaps and bounds since he joined us. Unfortunately he has become friends with Kevin because they are both from poor families. This must be nipped in the bud.
His birth-date is 13/09/1995.
Behaviour: He is grateful for everything we do for him and as such, gives us no problems.
Illness Records: Scurvy.
Areas for Improvement: His grades have slipped recently. I believe this is because he realises that once he gets the grade he needs, he will back home and back to poverty.
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=== Olivia ===
Description: Olivia gives a new meaning to the term "laid-back". She's the sort of person who wouldn't flinch if a nuke went off. This sort of attitude does not make for a great student.
Her birth-date is 18/08/1995.
Behaviour: She is friends with quite a few people and is not the sort of person to make enemies easily.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: She needs to learn the meaning of "hard work" otherwise she is just going to drift through life without achieving anything.
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=== Patrick ===
Description: Patrick is hated by everyone in the school and with good reason. He acts like an arsehole to everyone he meets and then gets upset when they treat him the same way back.
His birth-date is 25/03/1996.
Behaviour: He really needs to learn the basic principle of cause and effect instead of whining like a little bitch.
Illness Records: Gets beaten up every other day.
Areas for Improvement: Screw him. If he can't be bothered to act with basic level of human decency then I'm not going to do him any favours. Note to self - change this before Ofsted sees it.
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=== Pippa ===
Description: Pippa comes from a poor and unpleasant background but tries to overcome this by acting cheerful all the time. She tries to put a positive spin on even the most horrific circumstances.
Her birth-date is 05/04/1996.
Behaviour: I'm worried that she is on the verge of cracking. Her positive veneer is starting to fade and I believe she could have a nervous meltdown.
Illness Records: Miss Cummings is keeping an eye on her mental health.
Areas for Improvement: Her grades are increasing slightly but this is mainly due to sympathetic marking from the teachers.
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=== Quentin ===
Description: Quentin is sensible young man and deserves the position of head boy. He is the son of our biggest funders and, as such, is given everything that he asks for. He deserves it.
His birth-date is 27/09/1995.
Behaviour: A lot of the pupils don't like him because they say he never has a nice word to say about anyone. I think they are just jealous.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: He can be anything he wants to be because he is so smart and intellingent. He gets mostly F's but I have changed these to A's simply because he deserves them.
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=== Queenie ===
Description: Ah, Queenie, our wonderful head girl. She may be my brother's daughter but she would still have been given the role due to her mature outlook and sensible disposition.
Her birth-date is 25/02/1996.
Behaviour: A lot of the other pupils seem to think that she is stuck up. I am confused by this and think they need to give her a second chance.
Illness Records: Plastic surgery scars.
Areas for Improvement: Her work is not as good as it should be but I tell the teachers to give her straight A's anyway.
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=== Roger ===
Description: Roger is a very strange individual. He appears to have been brought up on television shows such as Jackass and has a disturbing preoccupation with the scatological.
His birth-date is 01/10/1995.
Behaviour: DIRTY BOY!
Illness Records: He has contracted a number of questionable diseases from playing with his own excrement.
Areas for Improvement: Nobody wants to touch him because they are afraid he will give them some sort of a terrible disease. He needs to overcome this if he is to make it in life.
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=== Ruby ===
Description: Ruby is an incredibly lazy individual who needs to buck her ideas right up. She always seeks the easiest way to deal with any problem and... actually, is that such a bad thing?
Her birth-date is 27/09/1996.
Behaviour: She seems at her happiest when she's relaxing and never gives the teachers any trouble.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: She really needs to make more effort because her grades are borderline passes - but she still always passes... maybe she is cleverer than we give her credit for.
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=== Sam ===
Description: Sam really needs to cheer up. Sure, bad things happen to all of us and maybe he's had it worse than most. Sure, everyone he's ever loved is dead, but does it really help to keep whining about it?
His birth-date is 05/04/1996.
Behaviour: The teachers have no complaints about him but he irritates the crap out of me. I have it hard too, kid.
Illness Records: Constantly harasses the nurse about imagined illnesses. Okay, he did have leprosy once, I'll give him that.
Areas for Improvement: CHEER UP! Seriously! Things could be worse. I'm not going to say that to him, though, because it'd probably depress him even more.
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=== Suzanne ===
Description: Suzanne is friendly and just gets on with her work, but I'm suspicious of her. Her grades were terrible before she came here and then they suddenly jumped to straight A's. I suspect a plot.
Her birth-date is 26/09/1996.
Behaviour: She seems very friendly with Brian, who I also don't trust. It seems she must have faked bad grades to be nearer him.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: She has an ulterior motive. I know it. She came here to be with Brian, that much is certain. What are they planning? Do they plan to overthrow me? I WON'T ALLOW IT.
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=== Terence ===
Description: Terence is an incredibly naughty child. The little bastard set fire to my hair, so I locked him in the detention room. Unfortunately, I lost the key. He's probably going to die.
His birth-date is 07/09/1996.
Behaviour: Ever since we locked him away, his behaviour has improved immeasurably. He does scratch rabidly on the door from time to time.
Illness Records: We slide food to him under the door and Miss Cummings speaks to him to see how he's coping. The teachers think we should try to get him out.
Areas for Improvement: I think I need to destroy this record before the police come knocking. He deserved it though - my hair never grew back.
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=== Tina ===
Description: Tina is a bully, plain and simple. She is aggressive to everyone she meets and has been expelled from several schools. I have advised the staff to keep her away from sharp objects.
Her birth-date is 11/07/1996.
Behaviour: Personally, I welcome someone like her to my school. Nobody can accuse her of not knowing her own mind and she is helping to build the character of some of our weaker pupils.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: If she can channel her aggression into her school work she would be one of the best pupils I have ever seen here.
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=== Uri ===
Description: Uri is a first-class fool. He believes he has psychic powers and just the other day he showed me a spoon he said he had bent with the power of his own mind, even though he had been seen bending it with his fingers.
His birth-date is 24/08/1995.
Behaviour: He gets on everyone's nerves by insisting that he has psychic abilities. It's getting tedious.
Illness Records: I keep telling Miss Cummings to find proof that he isn't psychic.
Areas for Improvement: He needs to stop mucking about with these parlour tricks and focus on getting a proper career. No-one's going to be interested in spoon bending.
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=== Ulrika ===
Description: Ulrika seems to attract trouble. There are numerous rumours flying around the school about her, each more unbelievable than the last, and I suspect every one of them is true.
Her birth-date is 21/12/1995.
Behaviour: We have never found any proof of what she is believed to have done, which suggests she is very good at covering her tracks.
Illness Records: On record? None.
Areas for Improvement: I think one way for her to get over these rumours once and for all is just come out and admit them. Then everyone will know her for who she is and she can just get on with her school work.
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=== Vincent ===
Description: Vincent is a self-proclaimed miserable bastard, which he uses to stop people from getting close to him. I think he is afraid of emotional involvement, although he appears to be close to Wendy.
His birth-date is 09/07/1996.
Behaviour: He is an avid smoker, but we allow that sort of thing to go unpunished at my school. If it helps him relax and get better grades, then it's fine.
Illness Records: Smoker's cough, but that's to be expected given how much he smokes.
Areas for Improvement: I do feel he needs to try to make a few more friends, but his grades are solid so I'm not that bothered.
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=== Vicky ===
Description: Vicky is an intelligent girl but she puts a lot of her smartness into coming up with cutting remarks about the staff and pupils. SHE KEEPS MAKING FUN OF ME, DAMN HER!
Her birth-date is 28/09/1995.
Behaviour: She knows just how far she can push staff without getting herself in serious trouble. One of these days she will go too far.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: Her grades are average. See how far those smart comments get you when you're flipping burgers, bitch.
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=== William ===
Description: William is just plain weird. He insists on wearing a sailor's hat wherever he goes, insisting he is on "an adventure of learning". He is incredibly naïve and childlike in his behaviour.
His birth-date is 11/03/1996.
Behaviour: He often makes completely bizzare comments which confuse everyone around him. Nobody can work out if he does this on purpose or not.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: I want to find out why he acts so strangely. I believe he will make a fantastic test subject for scientists when he grows up.
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=== Wendy ===
Description: Wendy has a very aggressive personality. A lot of this is fueled by her feminist and liberal beliefs and she has been known to beat up anyone who offends her.
Her birth-date is 17/10/1995.
Behaviour: Despite her feminist beliefs, she does like to be seen as attractive by the boys and can get jealous of people who steal attention from her, often threatening to blast them into the sun.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: We need to somehow control her aggression. At the same time, it does seem that she could have a good career in politics ahead of her.
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=== Xerxes ===
Description: Xerxes is an incredibly confused young individual. He continually jumps on the bandwagon of various cultural movements. Last year he was a new romantic. Now he is a goth.
His birth-date is 19/03/1996.
Behaviour: Whichever movement he says he is a part of, one thing always remains. He worships a god he has created that he calls Energor.
Illness Records: Rusty piercings from his punk phase.
Areas for Improvement: He seems to be unable to stick to anything and constantly changes his appearance in an attempt to find something that makes him happy. Maybe he should actually try to being normal.
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=== Xenia ===
Description: Xenia is the most optimistic individual I have ever met. Nothing appears to get her down and she can often put a positive spin on bad events. She often cheers me up when I'm having one of my "episodes".
Her birth-date is 18/09/1996.
Behaviour: She is an almost entirely positive influence in this school. Although she can be childlike at times, nobody in the school has anything bad to say about her.
Illness Records: Once got lockjaw from smiling too much.
Areas for Improvement: The one disadvantage to her continual optimism is the way she always puts a positive spin on her poor grades. I hate to say it, but someone needs to teach her that there are bad things in the world.
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=== Yves ===
Description: Yves frightens me. I have been unable to find any records about his past life and his parents don't pick up the phone when I call them. I have no idea where he came from or what he wants.
His birth-date is 09/02/1996.
Behaviour: He is almost monosyllabic in his speech but this is not any indication of poor mental ability. In fact, his grades are very good.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: He continues to get good grades despite shunning most human contact. Nobody in the school knows much about him. I suspect he may be an alien.
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=== Yvette ===
Description: Yvette is from France but speaks English very fluently. She has a knowing look about her and has a high level of intelligence. Unfortunately, she does not show this intelligence in her school work.
Her birth-date is 17/02/1995.
Behaviour: A few of the teachers do not like her because she is obviously smarter than she lets on.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: She seems to think herself above normal school work. What she does not understand is she needs the grades in order to move onto bigger and better things.
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=== Zachary ===
Description: Zachary sees himself as a commentator on the world's media and can often be heard loudly decrying the latest Hollywood blockbusters or music in the pop charts. Do kids still call it the pop chart?
His birth-date is 02/09/1996.
Behaviour: His constant disgust at the many poor examples of media out there gets on a lot of people's nerves, but he also knows how to make them laugh.
Illness Records: No illnesses.
Areas for Improvement: He needs to focus more on his school work rather than the latest release by... well, whoever the kids are watching these days. What, does he think he can do a better job?
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=== Zena ===
Description: Zena lives to party. Her personality is more suited to a university student than a school pupil, and I'm sure if she does get into university then she will do copious amounts of drugs and get several horrible diseases.
Her birth-date is 20/09/1995.
Behaviour: If there's a good time to be had and if there are substances to be consumed, she is there.
Illness Records: She has had her stomach pumped a couple of times - she doesn't know when to stop.
Areas for Improvement: She needs to act on her age. None of the other pupils are into the same things she is, so she tends to party on her own.
==Staff==
:Note: Staff files are normally inaccessible and can only be viewed with Mr Stouffer's login details. The developer has revealed the login details after the update which was originally intended to be on Part 2 as an easter egg. The username is mr_stouffer and the password is brains.
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=== Dinner Lady ===
Position: Cook (not seen in database)
Description: N/A
Behaviour: N/A
Illnesses: N/A
(Note: She's the only staff member that doesn't appear on the details.)
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=== Mr Andrews ===
Position: Music Teacher
Description: Mr Andrews has an absolute passion for music. Anytime you pass his classroom, you will hear him screaming his lungs out at some poor child for hitting the wrong key. This never fails to make me laugh.
Behaviour: He normally manages to make perfect musicians out of his pupils, well-versed in performance. Sadly, they are also perfectly boring, as they are so terrified of doing something wrong that they lose all their creativity.
Illnesses: High blood pressure.
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=== Mr Bastard ===
Position: PE Teacher
Description: Mr Bastard is not a very friendly individual. He relishes the chance to torture children through his lessons, pushing him to the very edge of snapping and then plunging them right over. He is the best PE teacher I have ever known.
Behaviour: His standards have dropped recently. Pupils aren't getting fit so much as they are being reduced to quivering wrecks. I shall have to ask him to ease up a little.
Illnesses: Hernia, piles, sweaty palms, smelly urine, erectile dysfunction, hyperhidrosis, regular constipation & vaginismus. Apart from that he is a very fit man.
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=== Mr Dull ===
Position: History and Geography Teacher
Description: Mr Dull was aptly named. Once he starts talking, he will not stop. It is a good job we only hold two lessons a day, as his lessons often overshoot by several hours. You can't deny his dedication.
Behaviour: You would think that boring his pupils to within an inch of their lives would be a bad thing. Not so. His pupils are so desperate to avoid his lessons that they seek to pass their exams as soon as possible.
Illnesses: No illnesses, though he put a pupil in a coma once.
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=== Mr Fryer ===
Position: IT Teacher
Description: Mr Fryer is very immature but then, computers are for children anyway. You can't beat the feeling getting hold of a good, hard pen and marking paper forever with your inky words of brilliance.
Behaviour: He doesn't really appear to do much, even on the days when he doesn't have a hangover. It's just fortunate that kids already know about everything about computers anyway.
Illnesses: No illnesses, but he visited Miss Cummings' office so many times now that she's starting to complain.
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=== Mr Hooch ===
Position: Biology and Chemistry Teacher
Description: Mr Hooch is a very sad case. He used to be one of our better teachers until the accident. He had just watched a Harry Potter film when he was struck hard on the head. Now he believes he is a character from the movie.
Behaviour: We have not been able to resolve his mental problems just yet, but we have got him teaching again by convincing him that maths and science are magic. He needs more training, however, as his experiments always end in explosions.
Illnesses: Aside from his head injury, various chemical burns.
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=== Mr Lambert ===
Position: English Teacher
Description: Mr Lambert teaches the sissiest subject there is in the curriculum, so it stands to reason that he is a total pansy. Honestly, why do we have English? Everyone knows how to speak it. We are English, after all.
Behaviour: It is a good job English is such an easy subject because he is possibly one of the weakest teachers who ever entered a classroom. He has absolutely no control over his pupils. Maybe he should wear glasses. HA HA HA.
Illnesses: Various stress related illnesses and nervous meltdowns.
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=== Mr Perkins ===
Position: Maths and Physics Teacher
Description: Mr Perkins is one of our smartest teachers. There is so much knowledge inside his head that it seems to have mutated into a giant blob. I hope he doesn't get any smarter, or else it could explode.
Behaviour: I sat in on one of Mr Perkins' lessons once and he didn't once speak about the curriculum. He seems easily distracted by irrelevant subjects. It makes little difference because every word he spews is GENIUS.
Illnesses: No illnesses, but he should take care of his head.
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=== Mr Ross ===
Position: Janitor
Description: Mr Ross is a fairly boring individual and I don't care to know that much about him. He has only been with us for a year. I only hired him after health and safety complained about the fact that we didn't have a cleaner.
Behaviour: Since I hired him, cleanliness has improved immeasurably, which is hardly surprising. As long as he keeps it up, that's fine by me. Need to take his fingerprints for the records.
Illnesses: No illnesses.
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=== Mr Stouffer ===
Position: Headmaster
Description: How can I describe myself? What right does a man have to judge himself? Am I a man? Who am I? All these questions have driven me into existential angst and I find myself beginning to question myself and my motives. I need help.
Behaviour: I am magnificent, a paragon of virtue. Nobody else compares to me, except my reflection. If you are reading this, who are you? Mess with my shit and I will find you. You will pay!
Illnesses: Miss Cummings gives me yummy yummy happy pills.
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=== Miss Cummings ===
Position: Nurse
Description: Miss Cummings is everything that a nurse should be. She is caring, knowledgeable about medicine and has the greatest pair of legs that I have ever seen. I wish I was young and virile again. I wish a lot of things. So many regrets...
Behaviour: She gets a lot of visits from staff, not so many from pupils, but anyone who goes to see her always feels better. However, she has refused to give her fingerprints for the records. What is she running from? Maybe I can protect her.
Illnesses: How can she be ill? She's the nurse!
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=== Mrs Lovens ===
Position: Art Teacher
Description: Mrs Lovens is a bit of an old dear, if I'm honest. Although she's not quite doddery, she is getting past it. She is very motherly but has remained a spinster all her life. This isn't surprising, as I wouldn't like to see her naked either.
Behaviour: Art is an incredibly easy subject to teach because it is all subjective. She has constructive criticism on hand for all her pupils and, surprisingly, they all improve. Maybe something to this "being nice" business...
Illnesses: I don't like having her around because she reminds me of my own mortality. Having said that, I know she'll die before me.
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=== Miss Minerva ===
Position: Foreign Languages Teacher
Description: Miss Minerva is a master of languages. She once told me she could speak the language of love in almost every country. A few minutes later, she told me she wasn't coming on to me.
Behaviour: Mr Bastard is determined to get her into bed but she keeps telling him he isn't her type. I have given him warnings on this but he persists. Luckily, it seems to be having no effect on her excellent pass rates.
Illnesses: No illnesses.
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=== Mr MacDougal ===
Position: Groundskeeper
Description: Mr MacDougal is Scottish, so I have difficulty understanding what the hell he's talking about. He is a relatively new recruit but he had good references from his last place of work.
Behaviour: He is incredibly grumpy and screams at the children to stay out of his way. This makes him alright in my book. Unable to take his fingerprints as they were burned off in a fire lit by some "spiky-haired brat" at his last school.
Illnesses: Alcoholic.
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== Other Characters ==
=== Hammy the Hamster ===
As unlikely as it seems, Hammy is actually a supporting character in the game. She is the school hamster and all pupils and staff love and appreciate her. They often stop by in the Foreign Languages classroom just to say hi to Hammy and see what she's doing. In a scrapped ending of the game she was actually a playable character for a bit to go and retrieve a key, before the Player role was passed to the main character again after he received said key. Hammy's mentioned through several parts in the game by other pupils. She was a core part of Mr Stouffer's will and she's seen on some children's drawings in the Art classroom.
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=== Energor ===
Energor is a fictional supreme being that has been created by Xerxes. He is a God that consists of the energy within all 'True' Goths as written in Xerxes' diary. He has many aliases, such as The Great Goth God Energor, Energor the Great or just simply Lord Energor, all of which are said by Xerxes during different points of the game. The only image we have ever seen of Energor is a small doodle on a notepad page drawn by Xerxes. He appears to be a buff and muscular "god" with a round head. It's indistinguishable whether the big scribbled hole on his face is supposed to be a very big eye or a mouth full of teeth. It may be possible that Energor is real, judging by the fact that Xerxes' ritual appeared to have succeeded in the bonus cutscene. 
Category:Characters