Disgusticles

In this commercial, Keyz sells the most revolting of frozen treats.
== Script ==
Hey listeners! Over the past 2 and a half years, Awful Industries has blossomed as a production company, and with the new year comes new products! In the past, AI has provided such delicious food and beverage items such as Shit on a Stick, Tasty Nuts Breakfast Sausage, Skanko Beverages, Fizzy Jizz Cola, Pussy Whip, Dirty Sanchez Taco Kits, Uncle Bad Touch Bald Beaver Bourbon, Kevins Bacon Brand Bacon, Period Pieces, IHOC brand cowpies, Pillfury Blamwich, Mongo Jabroni's Ball Cakes, Commuffins and of course Ksweeney Fuckin' Chicken, but never has the company pursued the frozen treat market...until now. From Awful Industries comes the next big snack...
Disgusticles!
Disgusticles come in 7 great varieties
Asscicles! - Frozen ass sweat flavored with toilet paper residue and loaded with real dingleberries!
Ballcicles! - Frozen ball sweat from Awful Show Hosts running on treadmills!
Pissicles! - Frozen urine with swirls of genuine urinary tract infection blood!
Cumcicles! - Frozen ejaculation in 4 tasty flavors: vanilla honkey, chocolate jigaboo, spicy dothead, and greasy wetback!
Douchecicles! - Frozen douche water from a delicate blend of female Pac-10 athletes, homeless women and hillbilly women from Kentucky!
Lactcicles! - Frozen breast milk for those who are lacking in their daily dietary calcium! And The Awful Show's personal favorite
Papcicles! - Frozen vaginal juice with chunks of real cervical tissue!
Every Disgusticle is frozen fresh at the collection site, packaged in real condom latex and kept frozen until it reaches your mouth, so there is never a concern of frost build up. Can't decide on a flavor? Then pick up a jumbo variety pack and try them all! Remember listeners, if you are tired of all those --tasty-- frozen treats and want to stick something revolting in your mouth, tell the Good Humor man to go fuck himself and grab a box of Disgusticles!
Disgusticles!
The frozen treats that make you puke on your feet!
Disgusticles!
Available at all Wiggly-Piggly, Food Tiger and Fred's Ipicac Emporium locations.
== Notes of Interest ==
*Wiggly-Piggly and Food Tiger are parody names of grocery stores Piggly-Wiggly and Food Lion, respectively. 
*This commercial originally started out as just "Papcicles". Tha Mike messaged Keyz with the other -cicles and it became a full line of flavors.
Category:Faux_Commercials