Kill or Kick

An old Roommate of Space Tree's returns, and ST is not happy. In fact, he's kind of a dick.
== Transcript ==
{cut to the Ship's Control Room with Space Tree and Allon, holding a towel with GS written on it}
ALLON: Hey Space Tree, I found this monogrammed towel {holds up monogrammed towel} in the air ducts. I think it belongs to the guy who used to crawl around in there, you know that Ghostish Spider.
SPACE TREE: Lemme see that. {cut to GS on the towel} No, it belongs to me. {cut back to view of Space Tree and Allon} It's just a typo, you see, these letters are supposed to be ST, for Space Tree. And what would Ghost Spider want a towel for anyway? He's a Ghost... and a spider.
ALLON: Well, I just called him on the Space Phone, and he said that it is his, and he's coming here right now to pick it up. Right now.
SPACE TREE: Oh well that's just great. Now I have to go and seal up all the doors and windows.
{he leaves, revealing the Commander behind him}
COMMANDER: Ghost Spider is coming here? Why didn't you tell me? I better go put on some make-up. I mean, I better go and wait for him ... over there.
{Camera pans over to a sign with "make-up room" written on it, he goes there}
ALLON: Man those guys are nuts. {changes his voice} I agree Allon, they are nuttier than a nut bush. {voice back to normal} Shut up, Allon!
{Cut to Space Tree with a hammer near a crappily boarded-up window.}
SPACE TREE: There, this should stop him from barging into Space Tree's territory.
{somehow Ghost Spider materializes out of nowhere.}
GHOST SPIDER: Hey, Space Tree, what's up? What are you building, a clubhouse or something?
SPACE TREE: Alright, {drops hammer and picks up towel} take your stupid towel {throws it} and get out.
GHOST SPIDER: {removes towel off of his face} H-hey, take it easy, Space Tree. You wanna hang out or something? {pan out} It's been so long.
COMMANDER: {pokes his head out from the right side of the screen, apparently has makeup and a bow tie on} Hey, Ghost Spider, do you, uh, {close up, straightens bow} remember me?
GHOST SPIDER: Oh. Hey Commander.
COMMANDER: Oh my God, he remembered my name!
GHOST SPIDER: Hey Commander, did you hear how I arrested those Anti-Space terrorists?
COMMANDER: {kneels before Ghost Spider} Oh my God, you gotta tell me.
GHOST SPIDER: Well, I was in space-
SPACE TREE: Oh come on, {close up} who hasn't arrested terrorists? It's not a big deal.
COMMANDER: {stands up to Space Tree} Shut your treehole, Space Tree, he's talking!
SPACE TREE: Whatever, I'll be in the...suicide room. {walks offscreen}
GHOST SPIDER: Jeez, Is Space Tree still mad about the time I didn't invite him to my New Year's Eve party?
COMMANDER: {kneeling, holding one of Ghost Spider's legs} I think he's just retarded, {bows head} my liege.
GHOST SPIDER: Well it was pretty harsh the way that I kicked him out. I should buy him a birthday present to make up for- Did you just call me "your liege"?
COMMANDER: Well... do you want me to call you that?
(enter Allon)
ALLON: Hey, Ghost Spider, I was just walking past Space Tree's room, and I overheard him plotting to kill you!
GHOST SPIDER: He wants to kill me? Well, that seems rather extreme...
ALLON: Well, it was either "kill" or "kick". He wasn't plotting very loudly.
GHOST SPIDER: Well, I guess it's time for Plan B. I've tried my best to be nice to him, and now I think it's time we teach him a lesson about re-spect.
COMMANDER: But what about that birthday present? Sir.
GHOST SPIDER: That's part of the plan, Commander. Here's what we're gonna do. Allon, you better listen closely to this as well.
ALLON: Yes, sir, Ghost Spider. Why don't you just talk into my hat? (he leans over so GS can do said talking into)
GHOST SPIDER: Well, I see no harm in that.
(cut to ST's super-room; every word Ghost Spider says is being broadcast into the room)
GHOST SPIDER: (voice) I'll just talk into your hat, then. So, here's what we're gonna do...
SPACE TREE: (talking over his plan) Yes, talk into his hat, Ghost Spider. Little do you know that I'm hearing your every word thanks to my in-gen-ious plan-creating machine. (pan up to the "Planomatrizzle 1999") I have a way better plan than you, and I'm going to expose your super-villainous ways if it's the last thing I do!
GHOST SPIDER: ... and that's my plan!
SPACE TREE: Oh, what?! I wasn't ready!
(cut back to the others)
COMMANDER: Wow, Gee Spizzle. That plan is perfect. There's no way it can fail.
GHOST SPIDER: Yep. Luckily, I anticipated that I'd be planning something, and bought these gifts for Space Tree in advance.
(enter Space tree)
SPACE TREE: Hey, uh... can you guy repeat what you were just talking about, before?
GHOST SPIDER: Why?
SPACE TREE: Uh, no reason.
GHOST SPIDER: Well, while you're here, (reaches to presents to him) happy birthday, Space Tree.
SPACE TREE: Whoa, I certainly wasn't expecting that.
GHOST SPIDER: Well you deserve it, ST.
(Space Tree holds a pair of socks, apparently they were inside the present)
SPACE TREE: Oh, a pair of socks. Oh-ho. Yeah, that's reeeal funny. Was this supposed to be some kind of ironic joke? (throws the socks away, begins poking GS with his branch) Well you can ironically take this and shove it up...
GHOST SPIDER: Oh, wait, wait. Open the other box.
(Space Tree does so)
SPACE TREE: Look at this, you got me... a pair of feet.
GHOST SPIDER: So? do you like them?
(cut to Space Trees Face, or trunk or whatever)
SPACE TREE: Do I like them? (louder) DO I LIKE THEM? (the word "THIS" appears white on red) THIS... (cut back to normal view and voice, Space tree has a tear on his trunk and the background is pink) ... is the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. (hugs Ghost Spider) I love you Ghost Spider.
GHOST SPIDER: Hey... It was, no problem.
COMMANDER: Way to go Ghost Spider Sir. The Plan want off without a hatch.
SPACE TREE: The Plan? Without a hatch? You mean I was all part of you sick little game?
GHOST SPIDER: No, I was just...
SPACE TREE: I should have known. That's it Ghost Spider, it's time for me to execute MY plan. (gets out the Staple Gun)
{matrix-y flying scene with the Commander}
COMMANDER: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
(he crashes on the ground)
COMMANDER: I'm sorry my liege, I have failed you.
GHOST SPIDER: Seriously, stop calling me that.
(one plan later) (some wind-noised in the background)
(cut to Space Tree (with the feet and socks on) and Ghost Spider (with a footprint on his body, apparently he was kicked by ST)
GHOST SPIDER: Well I gotta hand it to you, Space Tree, your plan to kick me went off without a hutch. Starsky and Hutch, that is.
SPACE TREE: Yes, it was really a brilliant plan.
(Cut to Ghost Spider)
GHOST SPIDER: It's just too bad that I couldn't teach you to respect me. Looks like things will have to stay the way they are.
(cut to Space Tree)
SPACE TREE: Well, that's not true. I really feel like our relationship has changed over the last couple of minutes.
(Cut to initial view of Space McTree and Ghostish Spider}
GHOST SPIDER: Oh, yeah?
SPACE TREE: That's right. Now I hate you more than ever, you son of a bitch!
(Roll fake credits)
GHOST SPIDER: Well, wait a second. Why? I mean, I got you a freaking birthday present.
(cut to Space Tree)
SPACE TREE: Well, that doesn't change the fact that you are my arch-nemesis, Ghost Spider.
(Cut to Ghost Spider)
GHOST SPIDER: What? But I'm like, a superhero. And that would make you a supervillain, which clearly, you are not.
(Cut to Space Tree)
SPACE TREE: Yeah, superhero, more like, super...fear-o! Because you're afraid. (laughs) (Cut to initial view of ST and GS) But seriously, I don't like you.
(Pan over to reveal that CX is behind GS)
COMMANDER: I like you, Ghost Spider.
GHOST SPIDER: (mad) Alright, it's time for me to go.
COMMANDER: I'll write to you every day!
GHOST SPIDER: (Comes in from bottom) Please don't.
(Roll end credits)
== Easter Eggs ==
* Click on the ST-Icon on the right of the end screen to watch the Commander's flying scene backwards.
{The matrix-y flying scene in reverse.}
COMMANDER: {in reverse, obviously} Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!!!
* Click between the replay and the menu button to see a deleted scene about Space Tree's Plan, but it has no lip-syncing
=== Easter Egg Transcript ===
(cut to the scene after the Commanders matrix-scene, a message appears: THIS SCENE HAS BEEN CUT DUE TO BUDGETARY REASONS)
COMMANDER: I'm sorry my liege, I have failed you.
GHOST SPIDER: Seriously, stop calling me that.
(cut to Space Tree)
SPACE TREE: Prepare to feel the burning wrath of my excellent plan.
(cut to Allon, blood comes out of his hat)
ALLON: Ah, speaking of burning, can I take this microphone out of my hat now, Space Tree? It's kinda hot and I think uhm, my skin is melting.
SPACE TREE: No, you leave it in there, now everyone...
GHOST SPIDER: What the hell Allon, you are wearing a wire? I can't believe you would betray me like that.
ALLON: I'm sorry Ghost Spider, I had no choice. Space Tree threatened to raise my rent again.
SPACE TREE: Yes, yes but that was a different plan. This is plan C now, alright? so shut up! Time for the plan. Jesus!
== Fun Facts ==
* The Control Panel of Space Tree's Ship has a Caps Lock key. ONLY a caps lock key.
*Forescore Jones is off to the side after the "one plan later" (you need to resize your browser window)
== References ==
* "Shut up, Allon!"
** This is an obvious running gag that happened in Harassin' Assassin that continued on here.
* This is the second time in the series that Space Tree kicked Ghost Spider.
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