Wet Chicken Bones (transcript)

Wet Chicken Bones is the seventh episode of WeirdWorld. It is the first episode rated TV-14-DLSV and is about Bob getting traumatized by a sex education video, as well as Smib failing many attempts to find love. Oddly, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the episode, and not even the show's creator knows why it's called such an odd name.
==Transcript==
*(We see Smib walking around with a sad expression on his faces, until he accidentally walks through a wall)
*Smib: Oh, that hurt! (He opens his eyes, stands up, and discovers Nugget looking straight at him) Oh, hey, Nugget! Are you alright with the damage I caused to your house?
*Nugget: (looks at the wall, which has a Smib-shaped hole in it, and broken bricks all over the floor) Thank you! You're just amazing! Now, I saw you walking around like an abandoned puppy out thorugh my window. What's wrong?
*Smib: YOU STALKER!
*Nugget: That's right, I like to watch. (flips his face 360 degrees to face Smib up close) But, seriously, what the hell where you doing?
*Smib: It's... nothing. Just something to do with love.
*Nugget: If it involves love, I can help! Currently, I have over 9000 girlfriends, all who have slept in my bed at least once. So what is it?
*Smib: I can't find a girl. Everytime I ask them out, they either reject me due to my dozens of eyes, or because of my bellybutton.
*Nugget: I haven't even seen your bellybutton. Do you have one?
*(Smib lifts his shirt up, and his bellybutton is covered up by a bar saying "CENSORED". Nugget screams in horror.)
*Smib: You can see why I can't find love. Everybody just wants to see you shirtless.
*(The scene cuts back to a younger Smib on a beach with several females.)
*Girl #1: Woah, Smib, take that shirt off! Don't you want to get a tan?
*Smib: What sort of advance is that?
*All Girls: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
*(He takes his shirt off, and all the girls spontaneously combust in terror. Cut back to Nugget's house.)
*Nugget: So, effectively, you're a murderer?
*Smib: Give me some freakin' tips, will you?
*Nugget: Let's get out of here, and embark on a quest so mysterious, yet so titillating, known as "Tour de Chick"! (they both walk out of the house) Together, we're going to go to everybody's house, girl or guy, and ask them out.
*Smib: But, what about the Laundry Guy? I don't want him targeting me!
*Nugget: Ask everyone out, and I mean EVERYONE.
*(Wobbleding walks by)
*Smib: Can... can we go out?
*Wobbleding (punching Smib in the face) What do you think you're doing?
*Nugget: I guess that didn't work.
*(Cut to Bob's classroom, where the teacher is standing next to a giant TV screen)
*Mrs. Glum: And now, kids, it's time for the moment you've been waiting for... sex education!
*(One of the kids points a Nerf gun to his head while the others recoil in horror)
*Bob: Pingas, are you unsure about this whole thing?
*Pingas: I'm not unsure, I'm as excited as pingas!
*(Mrs Glum draws her cane)
*Mrs Glum: Who swore in MY establishment?
*(Everyone is silent. We hear a cricket chirping.)
*Mrs Glum: And, now, it's time for the actual video. Any further enquiries should be given to your principal, in the Q&A session afterwards. Now, all of you, get your doggy bags and 3D glasses.
*(A time card appears saying "Five Minutes Later". Cut back to the classroom, the camera not facing the screen. Sultry saxophone music plays, as we see a close up of Bob's face, mouth hung limply open. His 3D glasses fall off.)
*(Cut to a close-up of the school bell, which rings. All the kids run out screaming, except for Pinga and Pingas, who are gossiping about the whole thing.)
*Pinga: Hey, Pingas, I think that movie was shown in that triple-X theater next to our house.
*Pingas: Holy pingas, it was! Don't you remember, our parents took us to see it! What did you think, Bob?
*(Close up on Bob's face, and his eyes are oversized and bloodshot. We hear chatter going through his brain.)
*TV Announcer: When a man and a woman love each other very much...
*Mrs. Glum: Put all queries you have in the box!
*Woman: OH GOD! OH GOD!
*TV Announcer: When a man and a woman love each other very much...
*(Pan out to the whole of Bob, in front of the school with his arms raised.)
*Bob: MAKE IT STOP!
*(End of scene. Cut back to Smib and Nugget, who are in the city street. Nugget is holding a piece of paper, which has Wobbleding, Grob, a random old man, and Rainbow Dash crossed off.)
*Smib: And not even Rainbow Dash wanted me. Said she didn't want crossovers in her show.
*(Smile Dog walks by. Nugget runs and starts shivering in a corner, but Smib asks him out.)
*Smib: Hey, dawg. Wanna spend the night with me?
*Smile Dog: No, you weirdo! Go back to the dark alley you came from!
*Smib: Son of a b***h!
*Smile Dog: Well, since I'm a male dog, I technically am the son of a b***h. Thanks for saying something completely unoffensive.
*Smib: I never liked you anyway! Whenever I think of you, I have epileptic fits in my sleep.
*Smile Dog: Spread the word...
*(Smib lowers his face onto the ground, like he did in the opening scene. Nugget drags him into the car to do some more soulsearching.)
*Nugget: It's not over until we both find at least three consenting girls!
*Smib: Listen, I'm really not enjoying this, I just kinda wanted to find someone who actually feel love for me, and you seem to have forgotten that I'm not gay. Thanks for nothing. All you've done is boast about (childish voice) all the girls you've slept with! (normal voice) If you're not going to help me, you may as well not be my partner.
*(Smib bares his teeth and slams the car door in Nugget's face. Nugget drives off, screaming at Smib with his mouth blurred out.)
*Smib: Well, *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* you too!
*(Smib turns around to face - the Laundry Guy!)
*Laundry Guy: Hey, I heard you were looking for love. Could you be my lawfully wedded husband?
*Smib: Crap. (tries to chase Nugget's car) NUGGET! NUGGET! HELP!
*(The sky turns black and rain begins to pour down)
*Smib: What have I done?
*Laundry Guy: Hooray, you like me! Want to go to my house?
*Smib: No.
*More coming soon...
==​Trivia==
This episode is the second to feature the Laundry Guy, the first being Moustachio vs. Smib.
Category:Rated TV-14
Category:Comedy
Category:Transcripts