Bass Effect: Gary's Ultimatum

Bass Effect: Gary's Ultimatum is a feature film by a company known only in the film's opening credits as Shellco Films. It is, as described on the DVD casing(1), a "documentary" detailing the rise and fall of Gary the Snail and the psychological repercussions he faces following the events of a devastating "War on Freedom", of which he was a party to some degree.
Notes concerning the film will be cited throughout. See the section "Notes".
==Plot==
The film is divided into three acts, shown below.
===Act One: Baby Götterdämmerung(2)===
The film opens with a slow-zooming shot of SpongeBob's house, the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants playing in the background, notably pitched lower. Gary the Snail is sitting at his writing desk, a pained look on his face. A close-up shot of his eyes reveals he is deep in thought about something. Sweat pours down his eyestalks as dual images of explosions appear in his eyes, one red and one blue. Suddenly, the phone rings. Gary slithers over to answer it, and a strange voice asks if this is the "Bobsponge residence" (3). Gary meows and hangs up the phone. He stares blankly at the phone for several seconds before knocking it down angrily with one eyestalk. A close-up shot of the phone falling to the floor and breaking is shown in slow-motion. Gary then returns to his writing desk and draws a feather pen and paper. He begins to write the following letter:
Dearest Lillith,
Since last we spoke, Bobsponge has not returned. It seems at last that he has set his stubborn mind to other affairs and ventured elsewhere. He did not leave any indication of his going before it happened, nor do I recall noticing him leave at all. I suspect he went during the night, perhaps amidst one of my episodes.
Said episodes have been becoming more frequent. I'm beginning to recall past events with increasing vividity and detail. Like they're happening in front of me over and over again. My fragile shell can only bear so much of it, Lillith. It is bearing down on me.
This is why I intend to, as we speak now, relate my story to you in as much detail as possible, and then take my own life. The knowledge I have is more than I can take any longer. I will let Him win, as I should have so long ago, with what dignity I have left. He is higher than me, and it is a futile fight. The war is won.
Take my story with what you will. I make this known to you with the utmost trust and honesty. You are my sole friend in this world, and the only one I have left. I deeply, deeply apologize.
Love always,
Gareth T. Snail
Gary finishes his letter, then retrieves another piece of parchment. He looks outside at the setting undersea sun, and a tear rolls down his eyestalk as he begins to write his final testament.
The shot of Gary writing fades into what is presumably a flashback. In a shot similar to the first one in the film, it zooms in on SpongeBob's house, but the sky is overcast as if a storm is brewing. Gary is seen playing an acoustic guitar in the middle of the floor (4), all lights in the house out. After he finishes his refrain, he sets the guitar gently against the wall and slithers over to the television. With an eyestalk, he tries to turn it on, but to no avail.
MORE TO COME
==Notes==
#The film was delivered to the author of this article by an anonymous source, in a seemingly legitimate DVD case.
#"Baby Götterdämmerung" is the title of a song by the band Monster Magnet. It is unknown what the relation to the song and the film is, if any, as the song never shows up in the film and the film is never directly referenced in the song.
#The character that, for all intents and purposes, should be referred to as SpongeBob is instead referred to throughout the film as "Bobsponge". It is never explicitly stated in the film whether or Bobsponge is a different character than SpongeBob, and he is never shown on screen.
#It is unknown exactly how he accomplishes this. The guitar seems to be floating in front of him and playing on its own.
Category:Movies