Café Disco Quotes

:Michael: Now I know what the founders of Phillip-Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.
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:Jim: Oh, so this morning at breakfast, we're having breakfast together, and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, 'You what I want to do today? I wanna marry you'.
:Pam: I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I knew he meant it.
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:Michael: Charles really did a number on these guys. They are way too focused on work. When I was in charge, this place was like Dave and Buster's People just hanging out, having, fun, eating apps. I don't know. It's like [pause] Dave died or something.
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:Michael: Daddy's here and daddy is going to take care of you.
:Oscar: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
:Michael: I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss da boo boo.
:Andy: [baby voice] Wittle Andy is afwaid.
:Michael: Andy's afwaid?
:Andy: Yes.
:Michael: Are you all afwaid?
:Dwight: No.
:Michael: Daddy's here for you. My wittle angels. Ok. I think that I have figured a way to get you guys out of your funk.
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:Dwight: Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?
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:Dwight: Yeah. Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.
:Michael: I don't need you to give me a history lesson. Ok?
:Dwight: What do you think history is?
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:Michael: You all just took a life here today. You did. The life of the party. 
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:Creed: Boss, this used to hang from my windshield but it belongs in here.
:Michael: Hey, thank you, Creed. you're really getting this place.
:Creed: No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.
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:Dwight: I'm gonna with the python.
:Phyllis: But the rattler's so scary.
:Dwight: No. Please. I find the rattle soothing. It puts me to sleep.
:Phyllis: I think Bob is gonna cheat on me with his new secretary. [she starts to giggle]
:Dwight: What's so funny?
:Phyllis: When I say it out loud it's so silly. [they both laugh]
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:Phyllis: Wanna dance, Dwight?
:Dwight: Ordinarily I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.
:Bob: Mind if I steal my wife?
:Dwight: You can't steal what is legally your property.
:Bob: Are those staples?
Category:Season 5 quotes