Crazysponge's dream

crazysponge's dream is the third episode of Season Four of CrazySponge Died: The Series.
==Transcript==
[The episode begins in CrazySponge's house]
CrazySponge's Dad: Well son, today you and I are going to Alaska!
CrazySponge: why
Dad: Because PLOT!
CrazySponge: o
[Cut to Alaska]
CrazySponge (offscreen): HOOPLA!!!
[The camera pans over to CrazySponge and his dad at the border between the US and the Soviet Union]
Dad: I still don't know what that word means.
CrazySponge: o
Dad: I wonder what would happen if I put my leg an inch across the border.
CrazySponge: dont do that
[His dad puts his leg an inch across the border]
Dad: Nothing happened.
[two soviet cops jump out of a bush]
Cops: We have had enough of this American bullshit. We are taking over America.
CrazySponge: I TOLD YOU TO NOT DO IT!
Dad: o
[Cut to CrazySponge and his dad strapped to chairs where they are waking up]
CrazySponge: where am i
Dad: is this heaven?
CrazySponge: wait wheres my cat
Dad: We did not bring our cat to Alaska.
CrazySponge: BUT WHERES MY CHEERIOS?!
Dad: I don't know...
CrazySponge: this cant be happening... this must be dream... i cant belive it... taking away my cat is fine... BUT MY CHEERIOS ARE SACRED!
Dad: You're too loud! The cops will notice that we are awake.
Cops: What are you two doing?
Dad: Nothing, sir.
Cops: Do not get out of chair, if you do you will get shot by gun.
Dad: Okay!
[The cops walk away]
CrazySponge (whispering): dont worry dad, i am immortal
Dad: What?
[CrazySponge jumps out of the chair]
CrazySponge: See?
[The cops look back and see that CrazySponge is no longer in the chair]
Cops: What the? Why did you get out of chair? We told you not to!
CrazySponge: o
[The cops shoot CrazySponge 69 times in the head]
Cop: Okay he dead.
[The cops leave]
CrazySponge: dad! i am still alive
Dad: Thank God!
[CrazySponge notices a tiny machine on the shelf]
CrazySponge: now what is that
Dad: Hm... it looks like a time machine.
[CrazySponge grabs the machine and warps away]
Dad: What the?! Where did he go?!
[Cut to CrazySponge teleporting into a weird hall where there are a bunch of different people from different realms and times]
CrazySponge: o
[CrazySponge notices an arcade machine]
CrazySponge: whats that
[he walks closer to it and realises its Polybius]
CrazySponge: *gasps* o my god is that the urban video game legend called Polybius
[CrazySponge starts playing the game and then a win sound effect comes out of the machine]
CrazySponge: yay i won
[The screen changes to a screen where he has to put in a date]
CrazySponge: whats this? shouldnt i put my name in here
[CrazySponge thinks for a bit and then gasps]
CrazySponge: is this supposed to be a time machine? well in that case...
[He puts in the date and time]
CrazySponge: o my goooooooooood
[CrazySponge gets teleported to Alaska where the Soviets are taking over the US]
Cops: What the?! Why are you here?
CrazySponge: to save america
Cops: But how did you walk all the way from the room to here?
CrazySponge: uh... i used plot convenient flights
Cops: Oh okay.
[CrazySponge grabs a gun]
Cops: Wait, what's tha-
[cut to CrazySponge back in the hall]
CrazySponge: ok so i need to go forward in time
[CrazySponge plays the game and puts in the date again]
CrazySponge: i hope i didnt change anything
[cut to CrazySponge watching the TV while eating Cheerios]
CrazySponge: i am so epic
[The TV shows Bill Cosby in the White House]
Bill Cosby (in the TV): Hello I am Bill Cosby, the president fo the United States.
CrazySponge: WHAT?! WHY IS BILL COSBY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Bill Cosby (in the TV): And to celebrate the US winning the war, we are going to kill all Jews.
CrazySponge: AND WHY IS HE HITLER?!
CrazySponge's Mom: Son! We gotta hide!
CrazySponge: but we are not jewish
Mom: Yes we are!
CrazySponge: o
[the cops bust down the doors]
Cops: HANDS UP YOU JEWS!
CrazySponge: WAIT WAIT WAIT
Cops: What?
CrazySponge: we are not jewish we are agnostic
Cops: Oh, sorry.
[The cops leave]
CrazySponge: i gotta fix this
[CrazySponge grabs the time machine and teleports to the beggining of the episode]
CrazySponge's Dad: Well son, today you and I are going to Alaska!
CrazySponge: NO DONT
Dad: Why not?
CrazySponge: BECAUSE IF WE DO YOU WILL PUT YOUR FOOT AN INCH ACROSS THE BORDER AND THEN THE SOVIET UNION WILL TRY TO TAKE OVER THE UNITED STATES BUT I SAVE AMERICA BUT BILL COSBY BECOMES THE PRESIDENT AND WILL KILL JEWS AND WE ARE JEWS
Dad: Uh... okay. Well I am still going but you can stay home I guess.
CrazySponge: I GOTTA STOP THIS!
[CrazySponge goes outside and gets on his bike]
CrazySponge: ok so i will follow my dads car and then when he arrives at alaska i will stop him from putting his foot an inch across the border
[He stops]
CrazySponge: wait i think thats imposibble
[he notices that a girl is there]
CrazySponge: well uh hi you are very uhm pretty
Girl: Thank you.
CrazySponge: wanna fuck
[cut to CrazySponge and the girl in a bed]
CrazySponge: well you are a very nice girl and you are great at sex but i feel like i forgot something
Girl: It probably wasn't important.
CrazySponge: o
[CrazySponge gets shot by a soviet cop]
Cop: Don't mess with the Soviet Union.
[CrazySponge wakes up in his bed]
CrazySponge: WHA- o it was just a dream... and i thought i lost my virginity.
[CrazySponge grabs his school bag and walks outside]
CrazySponge: well at least the soviets didnt take over the usa
[House who is in a soviet outfit crushes him]
House: Cyka blyat.
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