The Critical Drinker

William "Will" Jordan (born: ) is a Scottish YouTuber and a professional writer known for the Ryan Drake series, who since 2019 has emerged under the persona of an intelligent drunkard, The Critical Drinker.
==Content==
The Critical Drinker is a Scottish drunkard with a crude attitude, a penchant for black comedy, speaks in biting sarcasm and snark, and frequently uses running gags and catchphrases. His snide demeanor is juxtaposed by his intelligent critique of the art of filmmaking and storytelling, which was intended to be a neat contrast.
As the Drinker, he mainly covers movies and television, and occasionally video games and comic books. He often focuses on what he views in a negative light as the 'political correctness' of entertainment in recent products. To him they suffer from forced and poorly inserted political correctness, hamfisted messaging born out of "Trump Derangement Syndrome". According to him, the current mega media industry sees identity politics being valued over story and characters, excessive uses of virtue signaling, alongside unqualified and unlikable creators and actors. He also loathes the way beloved IPs of the past are, in his eyes, retooled into being vehicles for present day ‘woke’ politics, such as Star Wars, Doctor Who, Star Trek and Marvel. He believes that as a result, the stories themselves are often poorly written on a fundamental level.
He also has the belief and makes the argument that all this does is hurt the value of entertainment itself and cause a divide where they would previously unite. Stories of the past featured timeless and universal themes and had applicability to everyone, yet today's stories will inevitably become dated to the period that it's in. The Drinker has set out to help save entertainment, in his own way, by drawing more attention to the failings, and successes, of Hollywood.
However, even without the politics, the Drinker criticizes the excessive amounts of remakes of lower quality, diluting what made the originals great and adding nothing good to the IP, such as Cruella and Mulan.
===Critical Drinker After Hours===
Critical Drinker After Hours is a companion channel, with a variety of different styles of content. This includes:
*Drinker Does Gaming -- Livestreams of video games, such as the Resident Evil series, Ghost of Tsushima and Call of Duty.
*Happy Hour -- Live discussions of movies with guest YouTubers, often going on for hours.
*Drinker's Extra Shots -- Additional movie reviews, usually of works the Drinker doesn't have the time to cover on his main channel. All positive, akin to The Drinker Recommends, but relatively brief.
*Drinker's Open Bar -- An open forum where The Drinker discusses recent events and developments in the pop culture landscape with guest YouTubers and the chat. This was introduced in September 2021. Originally, he hosted it by himself, but his longtime friend MauLer was later made into an official co-host.
*Drinker's VIP Lounge -- The Drinker interviews creators and actors who've worked in Hollywood itself, from movies, TV and comics. This includes: Neil Marshall, Sam J. Jones, Mark Rolston, Marc Zicree, Adil & Bilall, and Mark Millar. This was introduced in March 2022.
*Drinker's Chasers -- Excerpts from Open Bar and VIP Lounge streams, about a particular subject that was discussed, such as subverting expectations, the death of Hollywood, superhero fatigue etc.
Additionally, miscellaneous content is featured, such as one video about testing alcoholic beer, another being a dramatic reading of Ryan Drake in-character as The Drinker, and two instruction videos on how to become a writer and how to become a YouTuber.
==Formats==
There are several different types of videos ranging from reviews, commentary on the industry, editorials, or news.
===Reviews===
The standard review, usually of movies and TV shows. Most reviews focus on modern movies/TV, often those that were recently released, though there are numerous throwbacks from older properties as well such as Demolition Man, Highlander, Independence Day, Die Hard, The Chronicles of Riddick, Starship Troopers and Avatar.
Most of these reviews tend to be negative, such as Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Ghostbusters (2016), Star Trek: Picard, Birds of Prey, The Predator, and Alien: Covenant. Some reviews are good just because it was "dumb fun", such as Tomorrow War, Godzilla vs Kong and The Suicide Squad (the second movie).
But there are also all-around positive reviews as well, such as for Joker, Logan, Dune, Nobody, Squid Game, All of Us Are Dead, Reacher, The Terminal List, John Wick: Chapter 4, Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning, Gran Turismo and One Piece where he highly praises the stories and usually only has some small criticisms on the side.
The Drinker also reviews trailers for upcoming movies and TV shows as they come up, showcasing his reaction and analysis of them whether good, bad, or all-around curious.
===The Drinker Recommends===
The Drinker recommends series are Movies and TV that the Drinker likes that are recommended to the audience as something to enjoy with the Drinker explaining how the media being covered warrants a recommendation from him. 
These fall under two categories. The first is modern works that he believes buck the, to him negative, trend of woke and progressive movements such as The Boys, Chernobyl, 1917, Ford v Ferrari, Cobra Kai, The Expanse, Invincible, Arcane, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Everything Everywhere All at Once, and Top Gun: Maverick, which in his opinion, should be used as an example of what modern entertainment should be in contrast to many of today's stories.
The second consists of movies from the past that hold up to the test of time, setting the standard for movies to aspire to, such as Event Horizon, Predator, Falling Down, Jaws, Unforgiven, Blade Runner, Fight Club, and 2010: The Year We Made Contact.
A middle ground also exists for works slightly older than recent (pre-dating what he thinks of as the "woke") era of the former but aren't quite as old and classic as the latter, such as with Dredd and Whiplash.
===The Drinker Fixes===
The Drinker Fixes series shows how it is possible to keep the same themes, characters and most of the plot while dramatically improving the writing. This is to exemplify rather how poor the director and/or writer has handled its movie.
In other words, The Drinker takes a character that's considered broken, and "fixes" that character in the context of the story itself to make the character more in line with how the character should be portrayed, either consistent with their past portrayal or to make an already bland character interesting. First, the Drinker assesses the flaws of the character, and then analyzes what established traits can be used as the basis to repair them, before presenting his new and improved version of the character in a rewrite of the story they're in. It's a creative exercise to show how much better these characters could be done in competent hands. Episodes thus far include Fat Thor (Avengers: Endgame), Luke Skywalker (Star Wars: The Last Jedi), Captain Marvel (Captain Marvel), Rey (Star Wars: The Force Awakens), and Finn (Star Wars: The Last Jedi).
Another variation is to fix an entire storyline, rather than a specific character. In this version, a general fix is made on various plot points and story arcs, into something that makes more sense and works better as a storyline, while still keeping true to the general idea of the original. This variation was introduced with Season 8 of Game of Thrones and utilized again with Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.
===Production Hell===
The Drinker analyzes the nightmarish development process of certain movies and TV shows, as they often make for great entertainment in and of itself. Episodes so far include The Island of Dr. Moreau, Apocalypse Now, The Abyss, Superman Lives, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Batwoman, Justice League, the entire DC Extended Universe, and Waterworld.
===Editorials===
Videos that discuss various topics, like storytelling, character development and history, such as Is Anakin a Mary Sue?, Shocking News - People Like Good Characters, Why the Past Matters, What Happened to Our Villains?, Why Canon Matters, The Importance of Ambiguity, Hollywood vs. Fans - Everybody Loses, and Defeminizing Female Characters.
===Why Modern Movies Suck===
Videos detailing why movies today are bad in various ways, focusing on varying topics, and comparing them to movies from the past in an unfavorable light. He also explains why it's so, and often detailing both the incompetency of the creators, and the actual sinister intent behind it.
Episodes thus far include Setup and Payoff, They're Written by Children, They're Destroying Our Heroes, The Soft Reboot, They Teach Us Awful Lessons, Modern Actors, CGI Overload, They Hate Their Own Fans, The Myth of the "Modern Audience", They Hate Men, The Strong Female Character, and They're Too Expensive.
===Analogies===
This is where The Drinker creates a strawman (which could include the viewer) to do decisions based on a real-life story, but without any names of real people mentioned. This has been done on Kathleen Kennedy Saves Star Wars (Again) (on his opinion of Lucasfilm boss Kathleen Kennedy's horrific mismanagement of Star Wars), How to be an Awesome Game Developer (on how he thought Neil Druckman destroyed The Last of Us: Part 2 with identity politics), and The Girl Who Wouldn't Back Down (on Gina Carano after being fired from The Mandalorian following backlash online).
===Irony===
The Drinker sarcastically supports content he dislikes with visual imagery often portraying the said movie negatively. This often could be mistaken as a support to the movie, including the YouTube algorithm. Said videos often feature The Drinker ripping into how bad they are, with a sarcastic veil of praise, alongside antithetical footage and images of what he's saying. Often, these videos are even more damning to the products than an unironic review, as it paints the target as nothing more than a laughable joke.
Examples of this include I was SO WRONG about Captain Marvel, Remakes Are Awesome, The Genius of The Last Jedi, Female Thor - At last, Marvel gives fans what they ALWAYS WANTED!, Finally, a James Bond for the Modern Era!, Social Justice Is Great For Videogames, Batwoman in Trouble - Ruby Rose Quits, Marvel's New Warriors Looks AMAZING!, Gotham High is EXACTLY What the Comic Industry Needs, How to Be the Bestest Journalism Evar, and The Falcon And The Winter Soldier - It's The Best Show Ever Made.
==Recurring Elements==
The Critical Drinker employs numerous gags, catchphrases and elements common throughout his reviews.
===Quotes===
*"Nah, it'll be fine!" -- Used to describe idiotic decisions made in-universe.
*"Fuck off film!" -- Said when the Drinker gets frustrated. Sometimes swapped with "trailer", "show", "game", or an individual like Brie Larson or Rian Johnson.
*"Why? Don't know!" -- For picking apart major plot holes and leaps of logic in the writing. This is accompanied by two pictures, one in a curious thinking pose ("Why?") and one doing a major shrug ("Don't know!").
*"You know..." -- How he starts some videos, often leading to an anecdote or analogy.
*"What. The. FUCK!" -- Often said after compiling a list of nonsensical plot threads, or a poorly thought-out twist, that leaves the Drinker dumbfounded. It also features an echo for effect.
*"But, Drinker, you [interchangeable term] I hear you say." and "Well, [interchangeable person]" -- Used as a hypothetical strawman to lead into another point.
**Examples in full include "But, Drinker, you bastion of intersectional feminism I hear you say." or "But, Drinker, you charming but handsome rogue I hear you say."
*"THE MESSAGE" -- Referring to corporate activism that plagues modern entertainment, accompanied with images of stereotypically far left material like Black Lives Matter, Planned Parenthood, Third Wave Feminism, Critical Race Theory, Antifa and Gay Pride. It's said with a booming echo for effect.
*"So the rest of the plot can happen." -- Said when covering a badly written story element that is only there out of lazy writing to continue the story.
*"Unspecified virus of unknown origin." -- When referring to COVID-19 due to YouTube's demonetization policy. Often accompanied by a picture of a Chinese flag, Winnie the Pooh and a black bar over it saying CENSORED.
*"MOSTLY..." -- Often said to single out a weak link within an otherwise competent ensemble, accompanied by a picture of said weak link.
** Example: "Spider-Man films have been pretty successful. They've been perfectly well made, well written, and MOSTLY... [shows an image of Zendaya] well cast."
*"Keep that one in mind because it'll be important later." -- Foreshadowing a badly written element of a movie that will be dissected in full later on in the review when it comes to prominence.
*"Believe that!" -- The Drinker makes a proud boast or proclamation of something, followed by the yelling "Believe that!".
*"To reflect the world we live in today." -- Said after pointing out nonsensical modern, politically correct sensibilities and the injection of identity politics into settings where it makes no sense for them to be present. This is based on a quote paraphrased from an interview promoting Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.
*"MODERN AUDIENCES!" -- When lampooning woke modern reboots, sequels, reimaginings etc., referencing the term "updated for modern audiences", an oft-repeated corporate buzzword with little to no substance, that suggests that "modern audiences" consists entirely of easily-offended career activists. Said with a booming echo, and often paired with an clip of Luke Crywalker for further effect.
*"That's all I've got for today... go away now!" -- The outro to almost every video. The tone of the message changes depending on the subject, from happiness, sadness, apathy, irritation or anger.
===Running Gags===
*"Hahaha, *fart*" (from Not Another Teen Movie), paired with an idiotic scene, often followed by the aforementioned "Fuck off film!".
*"Yes, I can definitely smell shite!" and "Shiiiite!" (from Chewin' the Fat), used after a sarcastic compliment.
*Tyrion throwing up (from Game of Thrones), expressing the Drinker's disgust at the thought of something.
*"No way!" (from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure), after the Drinker makes a painfully obvious statement, usually in answer to someone else.
*"Sheer. Fucking. Hubris." (from Star Trek: Picard), describing the arrogance of the creative team.
*"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" (from Event Horizon), when he finds something hideous or frustrating.
*Luke Crywalker (the viral clip of Jessica Starr, the infamous Trump inauguration screamer), often used when making fun of the far left.
*"Hallelujah!", a choir played along an image of alcoholic drinks like whiskey to express his love for drinking.
*"Not a great plan." (from The Avengers), used for highlighting the idiocy of someone's plan or thinking, either of an in-universe character or a real-world creator/company.
*"Ahahahahah... HAHAHAHA!... you serious?" (from Spider-Man 2), to highlight a particularly ridiculous statement or idea.
*"HaHaHaHaHaHa" (from The Fifth Element), used for comedic moments like a troll move or highlighting a product's comedic failure.
===Other Elements===
*Potshots at (in)famous Hollywood figures. The most common targets are Kathleen Kennedy, J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson, Brie Larson, Tessa Thompson, Alex Kurtzman, Kevin Smith, Paul Feig, Chris Chibnall, Jodie Whittaker, Seth Rogen and Zendaya.
*Potshots at the mainstream press, often viewed as bias, corrupt, and doing anything in a desperate attempt to shill, elevate the voices of social justice warriors, and reverse their inevitable collapse. The most common individual target by far is infamous Forbes shill Scott Mendelson.
*Beginning with highly contrived or barely related anecdotes that connect to the main review in some weird way, often with the Drinker acknowledging the ridiculousness of it.
*Laughing in his distinct tone, often with his picture onscreen, in response to something ridiculous.
*Jokes at the expense of political correctness, including the Twitter community, gender studies programs, body positivity, identity politics, third wave feminism, and what he describes as a culture of "perpetually offended serial complainers".
*References to a fictional prostitute called "Tatiana", who the Drinker is said to live out many of his most perverted desires with.
*References to excessive drinking and reckless abandon, often portraying the Drinker as a bit psychopathic.
*Potshots at China, usually calling the coronavirus "unspecified virus of unknown origin".
*Referring to characters by a nickname, usually insulting, if he doesn't like said character (especially if played by a hated actor). Examples include: "Diverse Female Space Jesus" (Michael Burnham in Star Trek: Discovery), "The Doctor Impersonator" (Jodie Whittaker's Doctor in Doctor Who), "Super Rex" (the Indominus Rex in Jurassic World), "Obscure Actress #1 and Obscure Actress #2" (Naomi Scott and Ella Balinska's characters in Charlie's Angels), and "Plank of Wood" as a general term for boring actors.
==Origins==
In 2006, jacktaylor83, the channel that would become The Critical Drinker, was created. It wasn't until 2012 when the first three videos were uploaded, after which the channel didn't post any more until 2018, where he began to make videos semi-regularly. These videos were low-profile, and the premise hadn't yet fully formed, but did provide the basis for what would become The Critical Drinker (that is rants and reviews with a heavy dose of sarcasm).
In 2019, Captain Marvel was about to be released and had been very controversial among audiences as a centerpiece of the present day culture war. Jordan, having had his own gripes with the movie and the leading actress Brie Larson, yet noticed how seriously everyone was taking the situation, created The Critical Drinker persona as a means to poke fun at it through a comedic lens.
Afterwards, the channel grew in popularity as more tuned in, gaining over 500,000 subscribers by September 2020, and reaching 1,000,000 subscribers on December 6, 2021.
==Quotes==
"I started this channel first and foremost because I'm passionate about storytelling in any form, and I appreciate the simple joy of experiencing a work of art for the first time, and that's what entertainment really is when you get right down to it. From the humble to extravagant, the derivative to the inspired, whether we love them or hate them. And when they're at their best, they're quite simply remarkable. They have the power to tell stories that uplift our spirits, captivate our imaginations, stir the sense of adventure, or test the limits of our fears. They give us glimpses of fantastical worlds beyond our own existence, presenting ideas that question our assumptions or broaden our horizons.
They give us heroes who inspire us to try harder than we thought necessary, reach further than we thought possible, or risk more than we thought safe. And they give us villains who explore our deepest fears, challenge our insecurities, and question our deepest held convictions. Stories can do all these things and more. They explore the universal experiences of our lives, they stir emotions regardless of our race, color or creed, they help to bring us together through our shared experiences, and passions, and fears, and help remind us that we have more in common with each other than we think.
In short, they represent the best of what it means to be human.
But all is not well. Like a lot of you, I've noticed a change in recent years. Our entertainment industries have been under attack, our stories are being sanitized and twisted to serve political agendas, our heroes are being neutered and marginalized, as Hollywood studios try in vain to dance to the everchanging tune of social media activists and perpetually offended serial complainers. Old classics are being remade and repackaged by creatively bankrupt studios trying in vain to cash in on nostalgia and name recognition. Our childhood heroes are being wheeled out only to be humiliated and downtrodden to elevate the success of cheap, inferior copies. And this change has only been accelerated by a dying mainstream media, desperate for views and attention at any cost, to jump on any bandwagon it can find, to delay their inevitable collapse.
And the result of all of this is a gradual erosion of narrative quality, thematic depth, artistic meaning, and, well, actual fun in entertainment. The stories we tell are no longer universal and timeless. They've become vapid and shallow, mired in present day cultural angst, and weighed down by clumsy attempts to pander to politics embraced only by a vocal few. The stories which used to unite us now serve to stoke the fires to division, resentment and petty bickering.
In short, every facet of entertainment we consume today is under threat.
And this worries me, because I'm old enough to remember when things were different. I can appreciate the quality of the stories we used to tell, and I can see what damage we're doing to our artists of today. The next generation of moviegoers and filmmakers is going to grow up in a world where this ridiculous state of affairs is the norm. They won't have that experience needed to strive for something better, and I think we'll all suffer as a result.
But I don't think it has to be this way.
We don't have to lie down and accept the gradual erosion of our art, entertainment and culture. The decline can be reversed through the most fundamental mechanism of all: Money. You can have all the political ideology you want, but ultimately the market wants what the market wants. If enough people refuse to support products like this, and instead give their money to studios and developers and artists whose only goal is to tell good stories, then Hollywood will have a simple choice: Listen to your market or go out of business.
So I guess that's what this channel is really about. In my own small, heavily intoxicated way, it's about calling out these failings when I see them. It's about encouraging people to see through the fancy special effects and big budgets to understand the flawed, derivative, meaningless stories that lie beneath. To understand the real mechanics of storytelling. And where possible, it's about recognizing movies, TV shows and video games, that buck this trend and dare to focus on what's actually important."
==About==
Will Jordan is a published author who has sold over 2 million copies of his spy thriller series Ryan Drake, a throwback to Cold War era techno-thriller/spy fiction novels of the likes of James Bond and the works of Tom Clancy, which spans 9 books.
In 2022, Will wrote a new book called Dark Harvest, a conspiracy thriller/science fiction novel about bioterrorism and zombies. Will has also stated he's working on a comic book project, still unrevealed.
He resides in Scotland, United Kingdom, and has a wife, two sons, and a greyhound named Lara (who he affectionately calls "The Critical Doggo"). Will stated that his Drinker persona essentially represents him but with all traits magnified by ten.
==Trivia==
*When depicted onscreen, The Drinker is usually seen with dark aviator shades which is considered the icon of the persona.
*According to his writer's profile, his major interests include military history, mountain climbing, fitness training, boxing and reading, in addition to writing and entertainment.
*Jordan has made visits to both the United States and Eastern Europe, for research on his Ryan Drake series.
*He once played small extra roles in local British TV series, as soldiers. He was put through military boot camp in preparation for the role.
*The Drinker's distinct Scottish accent is partially an act; Jordan has said he both exaggerates his voice and slurs to sound more drunken for effect.
**Furthermore, Will stated that he used to work in London as a telemarketer in an interview, and during this time he had to tone down his Scottish accent for the English customers he was working with. To this day, he says that experience made his Scottish accent less pronounced.
*His earlier videos from 2018 and early 2019 were markedly different from his later material as The Critical Drinker. While he did have a similar dry, sarcastic demeanor and the occasional gag, and reviewed movies like Black Panther, The Last Jedi and Rocky and made rants, they were overall more serious in tone and amateur in production. This shows in several ways:
**The audio quality of Will's voice wasn't as clear (as he admits, back then he was using a "work com" for budget reasons and upgraded to a full-blown studio once he became a professional).
**He didn't end with his signature "That's all I've got for today... go away now!" but instead thanked the viewers for watching and asked them to subscribe (the more standard ending, which he didn't like even then and only said it because he thought that's what you're supposed to do).
**While there was humor, the overall way the reviews were presented were more "matter of fact" and serious. At the time, The Drinker persona didn't really exist, and reviews were made under his old name jacktaylor83.
**Will spoke using his normal voice, where his Scottish accent isn't as exaggerated and made to sound drunken.
**Will also more commonly reviewed specific things that interested him back then, as he hadn't focused on reviews full time. As such, he reviewed more video games like Final Fantasy and Resident Evil, and oddly enough, he did book reviews (which he hasn't done yet since The Critical Drinker was established).
*An episode of Production Hell covering Fantastic Four (2015) was made but was deleted due to a Cease and Desist order, and is currently unavailable to be viewed anywhere.
*In addition to writing the Ryan Drake series, Will Jordan co-write the 2017 book Deadly Cargo with James Patterson.
*Will Jordan made an Ask Me Anything on Reddit in regard to the Ryan Drake series on August 5, 2016, three years before becoming The Critical Drinker.
Category:Comedy YouTubers
Category:Film YouTubers
Category:Book-narrating YouTubers
Category:Review YouTubers
Category:Scottish YouTubers
Category:Users who joined in 2006
Category:One million subscribers