Squid Wood Remade

Squid Wood Remade is the tenth episode for SpongeBob SquarePants Remade.
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==Plot==
A wooden statue of Squidward comes to life.
==Transcript==
(Opens at Squidward’s house.)
Squidward: Oh, I hope I can finish this statue before work. (Is seen sculpting a statue. All of a sudden, laughing is heard.) Oh, what the… (looks outside window.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, watch this! (blows giant bubble which picks up SpongeBob’s house and drops it down.)
Patrick: Whoa, that was amazing!
Squidward: No, that was not amazing!
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward! Do you want to play with us?
Squidward: No, I will not play with you! My life is horrible because of you two! Why can’t you do something that’ll make my life better instead of cause me misery?!
Patrick: So was that a yes?
Squidward: No! (closes window.) Oh crap, work starts soon! I’ve gotta finish my statue fast! (sculpts really fast and a giant wooden statue of Squidward is seen.) My statue is finally finished. Oh, how I wish you could come to life. We could have at least one more person with a normally functioning brain in this city. (Outside, a shooting star can be seen passing by. Squidward’s watch beeps.) Oh great, now I gotta go to work. (the statue’s eyes turn red.)
Statue: Hi. My name is Squid Wood.
Squidward: Whoa! You’re alive.
Squid Wood: Yes, I am and guess what.
Squidward: What?
Squid Wood: (picks up Squidward) I am going to shove you in my mouth and replace you and as I live your life, you will spend your life in my stomach.
Squidward: Wait! You don’t want to replace me!
Squid Wood: Why not?
Squidward: My life sucks. Living my life is worst than watching every episode of Breadwinners!
Squid Wood: How so?
Squidward: Well, I live with two retards, I work at a fast-food restaurant, I have…
Squid Wood: Your life already sounds better than mine! As a statue, all I do is stand in one place. My mind is made up, I’m replacing you. (puts Squidward in mouth and walks outside.)
SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward!
Squid Wood: It works, people actually think I’m Squidward. Hi, uh…
SpongeBob: SpongeBob.
Squid Wood: Oh yeah, SpongeBob!
Squidward: (from Squid Wood’s stomach.) Help!
SpongeBob: Did you hear that?
Squid Wood: Uh, no! Let’s go to work. (walks.)
SpongeBob: Uh, Squidward, work is that way.
Squid Wood: Oh yeah! (walks with SpongeBob to work. Scene cuts to Krusty Krab.) May I take your order?
Nat: I’ll have one Krabby Patty.
Squid Wood: Okay. This is easier than I thought.
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, why are you standing around here?! There’s used condoms all over the bathroom!
Squid Wood: Okay.
Mr. Krabs: Get rid of them!
Squid Wood: Okay! (scene cuts to bathroom.) Okay, since these balloon thingies are all over the ground, I guess they are condoms. (picks up condoms and sniff.) They smell good! Well, looks like I’m all done! (Evelyn and Nat are seen walking into a stall.)
Evelyn: Let’s have some fun. (takes off bra and then closes the bathroom door. Moaning is heard and comes out of bathroom leaving their condom behind.)
Nat: That was amazing!
Squid Wood: One more! (picks up condom.) There, all done! (leaves bathroom.) Oh, Mr. Red Guy, I’m done!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa. Good job, laddy. I guess. I’ve never seen you this happy. Hmm, something is going on here.
Squid Wood: Uhhh…
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, our shift is over!
Squid Wood: Yeah, see you tomorrow! (leaves Krusty Krab with SpongeBob and walks home. Scene cuts to morning at SpongeBob’s house.)
SpongeBob: It’s time for another great day! (runs to Patrick’s house and knocks on door.)
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! (Squid Wood comes outside.) Hey, Squidward!
Squid Wood: Hi!
Squidward: Help!
SpongeBob: What was that?!
Squid Wood: Uh, nothing.
Squidward: Listen to me! That’s not really Squidward! That’s a statue of mine that somehow came to life! I’m really inside his stomach!
Squid Wood: No, don’t listen to that! That was just… my stomach growling!
SpongeBob: Enough! The jig is up! I know you aren’t Squidward!
Squid Wood: Even if I aren’t Squidward, you can’t do anything about it! You are just one pathetic sponge and stupid starfish. You’re idiots, losers and weenies.
Patrick: Weenie?! How dare you! (punches Squid Wood and nothing happens.)
Squid Wood: See, you can’t do anything.
SpongeBob: I guess you’re right. We can’t defeat you.
Squid Wood: (laughs evilly.) And since you know my little secret, you two can see your friend, Squidward! (opens mouth and shoves SpongeBob and Patrick inside.)
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward.
Squidward: Hey. We’re trapped here forever. Just when I thought when my life couldn’t get worst.
SpongeBob: For once, I agree. (just then a bubble blowing pack falls out of SpongeBob’s pocket.) Wait a minute, I’ve got an idea. (takes bubble pack and opens it and takes the bubble wand out.)
Squidward: You’re blowing a bubble at a time like this?
SpongeBob: Wait, just watch. (blows a giant bubble that’s making Squid Wood’s stomach bigger.)
Squid Wood: Wait, what’s happening?! (SpongeBob continues to blow until Squid Wood blows up.)
Squidward: SpongeBob, Patrick? You saved me.
SpongeBob: Does that mean you’ll play with us? (Squidward looks at SpongeBob and Patrick and is smiling for once. SpongeBob and Patrick are smiling back at him.)
Squidward: No! (goes to his house and slams the door.)
SpongeBob: It’s great to have the old Squidward back.
Patrick: Yeah.
Category:Episodes
Category:ElectroElf
Category:2016
Category:SpongeBob SquarePants Remade Episodes
Category:2010s