(S1) Chapter 5: The HAM Slam

Errrr404, OP!Sans, and Adam Sandler were bing chilling after having defeated HAM. Little did they know, they were about to be absolutely rekt. Errrr404 looked around, as he saw the field, and, being an emo, the flowers reminded him of his dead GF. He immediately broke out crying, and Papaya182 was now in pain he had to listen to more of Errrr404’s bitching and moaning. Harrus and Adam looked at Errrr404 in confusion, as he cried the big cry. Adam Sandler, being a gigachad, just chad-strided (he’s too chad for proper grammar) over to Errrr404, comforting him in a chadlike manner. Errrr404 stopped crying for a moment and just kind of laid there, staring up at the sun. Oh look, Adam was shading the sun with his arm, that’s nice.
Wait, a minute, that wasn’t adam’s a-
“ROAD ROLLA DA!” HAM screamed like a maniac, flattening Errrr404 into the dirt with his road roller. HAM looked different, black tendrils wildly snapping around from his back, and black goopy shit melting all over his body. The rest of his body was glitched as shit, and ERROR messages of all types filled his body. Ironically, he looked like a more badass version of Errrr404, despite Errrr404 supposedly making all other Errors his bitches. Adam leapt up, grabbing the road roller and smashing HAM with it. HAM slammed his heel back, destroying the road roller, as he blasted at Adam. Adam blocked his punch, as OP Sans blasted over, tackling HAM to the ground. HAM’s tendrils shot out, twisting around OP Sans and lifting him into the air and beginning to tear him apart like a young child’s broken toy.
Errrr404 dashed over, blasting at HAM with his epic gaster blaster. HAM raised his arm, twisting and bending the metal of the blaster as Errrr404 watched in mild discomfort. Adam, being a chad that wasn’t afraid of whacky telekinesis tricks, charged at HAM and kicked him strongly in the chest. HAM grunted, releasing OP. Adam tried kicking up at his face. Only for HAM to catch his foot, hurling him miles away. HAM flew after him, as OP!Sans and Errrr404 pursued him. Epic battle music played epicly as River got in his Dababy Car, hitting the gas and pursuing the group. HAM and Adam landed, as Adam got up, blocking a strike from HAM. Errrr404 ran over, grabbing a boulder as he slammed it into HAM, knocking him through a mountain wall and into a cave.
OP ran over to help Adam, as Errrr404 dashed towards HAM. Papaya182 blocked one of HAM’s strikes, as Errrr404 drop-kicked him in the chest, knocking him back. Errrr404 high-fived Papaya, but they both turned to HAM once more, as HAM tackled Errrr404 through the cave floor. They fell into a ravine, as the two traded blows several times, before slamming into the ravine floor. They groaned in pain loudly, as they laid on the ground, just kind of resting there for a moment as the pain settled in. Errrr404 stood up, cracking his back into place before dashing over to HAM, who quickly got up to continue fighting.
”JASÚS YOU FUCK, I JUST WANT TO BRING OUR FRIENDS BACK!” Errrr said, making a valid point that HAM’s constant attempts to stop him really weren’t in his self-interest. HAM cackled like a cliche villain, as he kicked Errrr404 in the side, before snatching him by the leg and yeeting him into a ravine wall harshly.
“Lul, Billy ye fookin’ idiot, I’m nawt int’r’st’d in fookin’ ur lass liek u ‘r m8.” HAM said, as Errrr404 blasted at him again. He drew his r/cursedimages bat, which also happened to be made out of bones similar to his r/cursedimages whip. He swung it harshly, knocking 404 back again as he did his cliche villain laugh. He blew into his joint, as a puff of smoke hit 404, blasting him through the rock and sending him deeper underground, as HAM pursued.
404 groaned in pain as he tried to get up, only for HAM to kick him in the side, causing him to roll away. 404 felt a strange warmth, and turned to the side, seeing he was approaching lava. He reached out, but HAM stopped on his hand, then put his foot under 404’s side, kicking him again towards da lava. 404 turned, trying to grope away, as HAM grabbed him, pulling him over to the lava. He put pressure on his head, trying to push 404’s skull into the lava as 404 pushed back with his arms, trying to avoid being cooked as HAM continued to cackle.
”Wair, why do i hear boss music?” HAM asked, as he turned around. He saw Adam standing there, as he pointed towards HAM. HAM grunted, trying again to dunk 404 into the lava, as 404’s face began to feel da pain. He screamed, as Adam dashed over, only to be grabbed by the neck with his tendril. HAM continued to cackle maniacally, but suddenly, he realized he had forgotten something: PAPAYA! Papaya had been charging a gaster blaster this whole time, and he fired it.
”o’” HAM said, as he was hit by the beam, being sent through several cave walls at full speed as he tumbled, dropping both Adam and 404.
”Thank god for that Papyrus.” Errrr404 said, as Papaya182 gave him a thumbs up. Adam breathed a sigh of relief, as he turned back to HAM. OP!Sans arrived, as HAM stood up, a firm grimace on his face. He began trudging towards the group, as suddenly, his purely white eyes consumed his entire head. His head was now nothing but a ball of light. The group looked on in confusion, as he continued to approach. OP ignored his better instinct, and charged at HAM at full speed, swinging his sword. HAM caught the blade, as he stared OP straight in the eyes. OP’s eyes twitched in confusion. HAM smirked. He reached with his other arm, crushing OP’s shoulder, as he screamed in pain. HAM pulled his arm back, tearing OP’s arm clean off. OP screamed in pain, as HAM kicked him, sending him tumbling away.
“W-what?!?” Billy Mays said, fear beginning to set in. He was just a little kid again, seeing his brother be hurt. He was just a child, he had no chance against a God. His non-existent limp quivered, as he began to stumble back. In a flash, he had teleported away. Adam turned, sighing, as he firmly planted his stance, preparing to fight HAM, who continued laughing like a cliche ebil boi. The laugh was distorted and strange, seemingly from his head altercation. HAM began to approach slowly, axe in hand, as his head glitched. Adam reached out, portaling OP Sans away, as Adam dashed away, evading HAM’s strike, as he entered the portal. HAM smirked sadistically, as they had all retreated. However, he had made them afraid.
They were defeated, and soon, his ultimate desire would be realized. Power crackled in his hand, as he let out another cliche villain laugh. He kept going, his cackling echoing throughout the cave, as his laughter only grew in sadism and volume. He continued cackling, until he began coughing, as his throat got scratchy from all that cackling and laughter.
Category:Episodes
Category:Canon
Category:Written by Reaper
Category:Story
Category:Season 1