Pre-Game Preparation/Monster Prom

"All minds are rotten, but they are rotten in so many different ways." 
- Explanation for the quiz
"Monster Prom's Stupidest Pop Quiz Ever" is a mechanic in Monster Prom that determines players' beginning stats and the love interest(s) they will pursue. 
Stats can later be gained (or lost) by visiting certain locations, and by passing or failing stat checks.
Each quiz has three questions per round, which are randomly chosen from a pool. Two of them determine stats, and the last one raises the hidden affection stat with one NPC (between Damien, Liam, Miranda, Polly, Scott, Vera, Zoe, and Calculester), and ensures you will encounter them for your first event.
When playing solo, choosing an answer reveals the associated stat after selecting it. When playing with multiple people, all players must choose an answer before the associated stat is revealed.
==Stat Questions==
Democracy is just broken. What would be the best way of choosing the leaders of modern society?
*We create a reality show called "America's Next Top President" where the candidates compete in all kinds of physical and mental challenges. Voter turnout would increase and we would turn a profit on it! (FUN)
* You put all the candidates in an empty room... with a wild grizzly bear. Whoever kills the bear should be our president. If everyone dies, then it's obvious: the bear should be our president. (BOLDNESS)
*Whoever can play the most hearbreaking violin solo wins. (CREATIVITY)
You wish you were raised by...
*A really progressive marriage between a kick-ass venomous snake and... actual fire. I love fire and see no issue with being raised by it. (BOLDNESS)
*A pack of wild wolves... who also happen to be tech moguls who own some of the most profitable companies of Silicon Valley. They would be kick-ass role models AND wild wolves! Sick! (MONEY)
*A mysterious old man who saved me from the streets in order to raise me as his disciple in the ancient ways of rad DJing! (FUN)
You get the chance to produce a movie. It's based on...
* Something about superheroes, but with a love triangle between a beautiful yet somewhat relatable girl (maybe she's always stating she's a mess?) and two of the super hot superheroes, which are also like vampires or pirates or both. Instant hit! (MONEY)
*Two cool guys walking away from rad explosions. And they don't look at the explosions. THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE EXPLOSIONS! They reflect on life and love... BUT IT IS SUPER DOPE AND KICK-ASS BECAUSE THEY DO SO WHILE WALKING AWAY FROM NEVER-ENDING EXPLOSIONS! (BOLDNESS)
*The most influential Russian novelists of the XIX century... have gone nuts! They don't remember anything about last night and now they can't find the manuscript of The Brothers Karamazov; and Dostoyevsky has to deliver it TODAY! (FUN)
What is your soul emoji, the emoji that speaks the truth of your soul?
*Caucasian guy with a turban because fuck stereotypes. (CREATIVITY)
*Octopus emoji. Best animal on Earth. I know 5 mixed drinks, 3 drug cocktails, and 17 sex positions that involve one or several octopi. (FUN)
*Snowman, because that motherfucker is in the middle of a blizzard and he's fuckin' smiling. He doesn't give a fuck about blizzards. And he has a kick-ass hat. (BOLDNESS)
An alien race invade Earth and they tell you the world's fate depends on how you awnser the following question: how do you like your coffee?
*My favorite coffe is vodka (FUN)
*...alien-friendly? (SMARTS)
*I like my coffee as bitter and dark as my own soul...which isn't bitter or dark at all i'm a pretty nice person. (CHARM)
Which god do you pray to each night before sleeping?
* Praying is kind of lame. I have a group text set up with some deities: Dionysus, Bastet, Loki... coolest cats in town. (CHARM)
*Praying is for fools. I took compromising pics of a god molesting a tree, and now I blackmail him for whatever I want. A lot more effective. (SMARTS)
*Oh, I pray to all kinds of gods. I have this business where people pay me to deliver their prayers every night. I've even started to look for a Chinese factory to outsource the prayers. (MONEY)
A radioactive possum just bit you... what superpower did you get?
*The incredible power of writing fanfiction so compelling that the actual creators of the TV shows decide to go with my ideas and crazy ships. (CREATIVITY)
*Uh, probably rabies? I'd go to a hospital immediately. (SMARTS)
*The superpower of always choosing the right combination of emojis to get the desired reaction from all people: seducing my loved ones, burning my enemies, settling any argument, and even conveying complex emotional thoughts. (CHARM)
If you had to have sex with an animal... which animal would it be?
*A human being, because I'm the kind of douchebag who loves to find loopholes in stupid questions like this one. (SMARTS)
* No one can make me fuck an animal. If I fucked an animal, it'd be of my own free will. As a matter of fact, I already have fucked an animal, so the joke's on you, pal. (BOLDNESS)
* A swan. They're classy. Plus it reminds me of that myth of Leda and the Swan, so at least by beastiality standards, it has a certain chic appeal. (CREATIVITY)
*A great white shark. If I have to fuck an animal, let's at least try to make it a story worth telling! (CHARM)
*A dolphin. They're the only animal that fucks just for pleasure, so at least we can both do our best to have a good time, right? (FUN)
*A purebred horse. At least I can keep his semen and sell it. It's worth a lot! Who said there was no silver lining to beastiality? (MONEY)
School is outdated and lame. We need a new school subject ASAP!
*Critical Thought. I mean… Damn, this country could really use a subject like that in schools. (SMARTS)
*How to Correctly Punch a Crocodile Without Terrible Consequences. (BOLDNESS)
*Turning People Into Your Puppets Through Emotional Warfare and Deception 101. (CHARM)
If you could put a curse on your worst enemy, what would it do?
*You can't rely on the effectiveness of a curse. I prefer to take care of my enemies the old-fashioned way: By exposing them to unsafe doses of radiation over the course of several years. (SMARTS)
*I'd curse them to fall in love with a wonderful person and be happily married for years before they realize that all this time… Their partner was a wild panther in disguise! Then the panther viciously devours my enemy. Classic! (BOLDNESS)
*The curse of always meeting obnoxious people at parties who are super into new fad diets that feel the need to explain them in detail. (CHARM)
You've stayed late at office. There are 5 people left and suddenly they start to get naked for no good reason.. what do you do?
*Be nice and bring them a snack. And by that you mean getting naked too, because you're a snacc. (CHARM)
*Engage in casual conversation. You can finally overcome your social awkwardness by imagining all of them naked. (CREATIVITY)
* Propose to play not-so-well-known version of an all-time favorite: Sexy Cluedo. (FUN)
The coolest reality show would be…
*People in positions of power must face all sorts of questions relevant to their field, and if they fail, they lost their jobs… And society wins. (SMARTS)
*Twelve experts on the various arts of seduction live in a house where they must face a common challenge: seducing a potato into marriage… Somehow. (CHARM)
*Eight rich people fight in weekly challenges to see who's the best at giving money to you. (MONEY)
A distant relative you didn't even know has passed. You have to attend their funeral, but you're super hooked binge-watching the 7th season of The Office. What excuse do make to avoid the social obligation?
*Just don't go. From now on every time a family member asks you why you didn't attend, just say "You Know..." and wink at them. (CHARM)
* Try to convince your family that you were a flaming all along and flamingos are not supposed to attend funerals. (BOLDNESS)
*The trick to good lying is being subtle and telling half truths. Tell your family you can't attend because you're super hooked binge-watching the 5th season of The Office. (SMARTS)
One day you wake up and you've swapped bodies with your mom, in a 90's film fashion. What is the worst thing that could happen?
*She's killing her lifelong rival while in my body so she can frame me for the murder. (BOLDNESS)
*She's meeting with all my friends... and actully more popular than me. (CHARM)
*She's messing with my Spotify playlists and putting all her trash metal on it. My mom, such a metalhead. (CREATIVITY)
What would be the coolest prize you could find in your box of cereal?
*A sample of a more nutritious breakfast option, so people are encourages to stop eating that colorful crap. (SMARTS)
* A tiny piece of sharp metal, so every scoop will be full of thrill and danger! (BOLDNESS)
*The phone number of that sexy tiger on the front of the box. He's so passionate about breakfast and health that he's surely also a grrreat lover. (CHARM)
Be a visionary: what will be the next big social media craze be?
*Greek Agoras: like literal Greek agoras re-instated in our cities. Places where philosophy and arts are discussed by the greater minds. That's the social media I want to log into! (SMARTS)
* Rbert: from now on, a socially awkward guy named Robert will do everything he's commanded to do through the app by its users. (CHARM)
*Bull$hit: It's Facebook, but each time someone shares news that isn't supported by real facts, they're taxed, and the money goes to the people exposed to that bullshit. (MONEY)
You're elected president for a day. What's the first law you pass?
*Trivia fact: presidents don't pass laws…so is this a trick question or are you just being an idiot. (SMARTS)
*You can deduct taxes by writing sonnets instead. Amount to taxes deducted are calculated based on the beauty of the sonnets. (CREATIVITY)
*One dollar bills will not include a picture of me and the inscription "Beware: Too Much Awesomeness." My presidency might last a day, but my fame will last forever! (CHARM)
You build a 100ft statue commemorating an event so that in 1000 years archaeologists can learn something about the people of our time. What does the stature represent?
*Your least favorite political figure…being devoured by rabid rhinoceri…which are also covered in badass tattoos. (BOLDNESS)
*That mind-blowing twist in your favorite TV show that clearly changed the life of everyone forever, unlike all that boring stuff they show on the news. (CREATIVITY)
*That glorious instant when your friend stopped you from texting embarrassing stuff to your ex while hella drunk. (FUN)
If you could go back in time, what's one thing you'd tell your younger self?
*I'd teach myself not to teach that robot how to fall in love. As romantic as it might have seemed atm, it started the Robot Revolution of 2037, way worse than the much more positive Robot Sexual Revolution of 2043. (SMARTS)
*Why should we assume silly younger me needs advice? I've grown up to have a fuckin' time machine, so I must have don’t something right. Fuck younger me; we're going straight to Woodstock, baby! (FUN)
*I'd advise myself not to buy a time machine. Worst investment ever; they turned out to be the "Blockbuster" of 2032. (MONEY)
It's your chance to fix global warming. Go ahead!
*Global warming isn't real. I invented it, and now science is claiming authorship because science is a lame copycat with no original ideas. (CREATIVITY)
* It's time to be a real hero: I'll lead a mission to the sun in order to… invite the sun to the party of its life! We'll have so many hilarious misadventures that the sun will eventually become… cooler. ;) (FUN)
*Nah, the world is doomed. But I'll start investing in ships and start a profitable business for the "soon to be covered by water" world. (MONEY)
Which is the coolest mythological creature?
*This weird creature I drew when I was six and which is clearly super derivative from other mythological creatures… but it's super cool and it's my OC and my spirit animal, okay? (CREATIVITY)
*A sphinx… who is super turnt up and ready to party! And she raps all her riddles (she still kills you if you don't answer them correctly…but she raps the riddles)! (FUN)
*The invisible hand of the free market. (MONEY)
Which inanimate object do you think would make the best girlfriend or boyfriend, provided you went criminally insane?
*A human-size pillow depicting a character created by myself. As a matter of fact, I have all the needed paperwork and I'm only waiting for the conservative narrow-minded laws of our country to finally step forward into waifu and husbando territory, as was clearly intended by God. (CREATIVITY)
*A dildo, duh. (FUN)
*An ATM. Sugar baby life, here I come! (MONEY)
If you got to choose, how would you die?
*As a practical demonstration while giving a TED talk on how to die correctly. (SMARTS)
*How I die is irrelevant as long as I'm allowed to haunt my enemies for the rest of eternity. (BOLDNESS)
* Silly! Death is a concept we invented to keep the commoners at check. (MONEY)
If you were the leader of a new country, what would your flag look like?
* Just Garfield's face. It's a power move: there's no doubt you're the supreme leader of your land if no one stops you from making Garfield the flag of you country. (FUN)
*Flags are outdated symbols that lead to unnecessary nationalist exaltation. We will replace flags with a national QR code that will provide Taco Bell coupons and lead you to my Soundcloud. (SMARTS)
*I'd go for a simple three-colored stripe approach where each color represents one of the country's values: blue for diplomacy, purple for patience, and red for the blood that will be spilled if anyone tries to overthrow me. (BOLDNESS)
You're walking through the desert when you see a turtle on it's back, baking in the hot sun. But you're not helping Why aren't you helping?
*Because that turtle owes me money. (MONEY)
*No time. Too busy twerking. (FUN)
*Because fuck turtles. (BOLDNESS)
How would you talk a cop out of arresting you?
* Use your acting skills. Convince the officer you're actually the police. You know what? Go for the overkill and make them pay you a fine. (CREATIVITY)
*Use your seduction skills (wink). They don't call it "fuck the police" for nothing. (CHARM)
*Use your gamming skills. Eveyone knows that a police officer has to drop any charges on you if you manage to beat them at a fair Yu Gi Oh! card duel. (FUN)
==Love Interest Questions==
The world will end tomorrow... what will you do today?
* Nobody ends the world but me! I'll end the world today. (Damien)
*I'll finish my novel... whoever comes after the end should know my legacy! (Liam)
*It's okay! We invented the apocalypse to take care of the overpopulation of commoners. (Miranda)
*I always party as if there were no tomorrow... so who cares? (Polly)
*100 push-ups! No, no... 200 push-ups! (Scott)
*They always tell you the world is ending... I'll profit on other people's hysteria. (Vera)
*Netflix and chill. (Zoe)
*I would panic, because that' what real organic people do and I am real organic person. (Calculester)
What would be the most appealing in a love partner?
*A big... horn. (Damien)
*Sharp wits. (Liam)
*Kawaii eyes. (Miranda)
*A taste for party. (Polly)
*Soft fur. (Scott)
* A very tsundere personality. (Vera)
*TENTACLES. (Zoe)
*10gb of RAM. (Calculester)
If you were an ice cream... which flavor would you be?
*Spicy chocolate. No... chocolate ON FIRE! (Damien)
* Double crème de la Gruyere and meringues. (Liam)
*Rainbows and gummy bears. (Miranda)
*Tequila and coke. ;) (Polly)
*Meat! (Scott)
*Success. (Vera)
*Ikasumi. (Zoe)
*Plutonium. (Calculester)
You find a genie in a bottle. You can ask for whatever you want. What do you ask for?
* I don't ask for anything. I drink the gene from the bottle. I can grant my own wishes! (Damien)
*...Him to not be so cliched. Genie and wishes... So mainstream! (Liam)
*A rainbow that you can eat! (Miranda)
*Infinite confetti! (Polly)
*...His friendship! (Scott)
*Before asking for anything, you try to negotiate up to the three standard wishes. (Vera)
* I don't ask for anything. I drink the genie from the bottle. I can grant my own wishes! (Damien)
*To feel truly alive. (Calculester)
*For Shinji and Kaworu to be canon. (Zoe)
What's the sexiest type of knowledge a lover can have?
*How to set stuff on fire. (Damien)
*Obscure 80s movie trivia. (Liam)
*Lyrics to all Disney songs. (Miranda)
*How to make a killer cocktail out of anything. (Polly)
*Sports things. (Scott)
*All the principles to build a financial empire. (Vera)
*An accurate approximation of all fictional characters' genitalia. (Zoe)
* A bachelor's in engineering. (Calculester)
What criteria would you use to name your children?
*Just a swear word. (Damien)
*A non-heteronormative name to give them freedom to define themselves on their own terms. (Liam)
*My name + "II" (the Second). (Miranda)
* Meh... No name? It's just too much work! (Polly)
*Something simple and friendly like Bobby or Mary. (Scott)
* I will research for a name that is pun-proof and joke-proof. No one will pick on them. (Vera)
*"Child" + Current version based on birth order. (Calculester)
*The name of my favorite ship, like Gallavich, Dair or Narfield. (Zoe)
What would be a killer accessory?
*Fancy brass knuckles. (Damien)
*Coolness itself. (Liam)
*Shiny armor. (Miranda)
*Sunglasses… At night. (Polly)
* A necklace with your own name… In case you forget! (Scott)
*A fabulous purse made from the skin of your worst enemy. (Vera)
*Logitech G560, the best RGB gaming speakers. (Calculester)
*Sailor Moon's Magic Wand. (Zoe)
What would be a deal-breaker for a potential lover?
* The person is a coward. (Damien)
*The person lacks taste. (Liam)
*The person lacks manners. (Miranda)
*The person is boring. (Polly)
*The person hates the outdoors. (Scott)
*The person is mediocre. (Vera)
*The person thinks Asuka is the best waifu. (Zoe)
*The person uses Internet Explorer. (Calculester)
What would be your dream first date?
*Crimes. (Damien)
*An art exibition experimental enough to give you a seizure. (Liam)
* A lovey walk in the forest…after rescuing your date from a dragon! (Miranda)
* A wild party in international waters. (Polly)
*A sweaty and manly wrestling match. (Scott)
*A professional meeting where you charm your date with some astonishing business advice. (Vera)
*A fierce fight that starts lifelong rivalry open to become...something else. (Zoe)
*Sexy decompiling. (Calculester)
Your partner just gave you a cool gift for your anniversary but you totally forgot! Quick, come up with an idea for a great gift!
*Anything on fire. Or a weapon. No, No: a weapon on fire. (Damien)
*The abstract concept of gratefulness. (Liam)
*A pony. Always a pony. (Miranda)
*Anything capable of leading them to an overdose of some sorts. (Polly)
*A silly toy that makes silly noises. (Scott)
*The head of their fiercest enemy. (Vera)
*A friendly roomba with wobbly eyes. (Calculester)
*An art commission by Picasso. (Zoe)
School just isn´t working out... time to go into stripping! What´s your stage name?
*Excuse you? I wouldn´t be the stripper, honey; I´m the damn pimp. (Vera)
*Kawaii Pussy uwu. (Zoe)
*Fuckfest XXXplosions. (Damien)
*My name + "The Naked" (Scott)
*Oscar Wilde. (Liam)
*Nikkita Nipples. (Polly)
*MAX PLEASURE MODEL 3000. (Calculester)
*Duchess Henrietta Honeylips the Third. (Miranda)
If you were a D&D character, what would be your class?
*Partysmith. (Polly)
*Automaton. (Calculester)
*Fanfic Bard. (Zoe)
*The prettiest one. (Miranda)
*Obscure Instrgrammer. (Liam)
*Gun haver. (Damien)
*Good boy. (Scott)
*Moneymaker. (Vera)
If you were a product, what would be your slogan?
*You won't understand me, and that's how you know I'm cool. (Liam)
*For fans by fans. (Zoe)
*Be ready for a long trip. (Polly)
*I command you to enjoy me. (Miranda)
*Extra flammable. (Damien)
*Objectively better than the other options. (Calculester)
*Buy me, I'm good. (Scott)
*Too expensive for you. (Vera)
What's the title of your autobiography?
*Manual of Instructions: How to Properly Experience Life. (Calculester)
*"My parents Thinks I'm Cute and So Should You". (Miranda)
*"Temporality: The Ongoing Journey to Define My Inner Enigma" (Liam)
*What? I barely have time to READ a book, dude, let alone write one. (Scott)
*"The Art of Punching Life in its Dumb Fucking Face" (Damien)
* "How to Succeed at everything and Look Fabulous Trying" (Vera)
*When Garfield met Naruto: A Story of How I fell in Love with Forbidden Ships. (Zoe)
*The Top 10 Drunk Texts I don't Regret Sending. (Polly)
You find your zodiac sign to be inaccurate. Design your own personal zodiac sign.
* The rich bitch. (Vera)
*The regal 1%. (Miranda)
*The randomly-arranged set of stars. (Calculester)
*The cute pup. (Scott)
*The now-canon lovers. (Zoe)
*The happy-go-lucky ecstasy pill. (Polly)
*The ambiguous iguana. (Liam)
*The rad sword on fire. (Damien)
==Trivia==
*Teen Wolf magazine is likely the in-game counterpart to the real life Teen Vogue magazine.
Category:Gameplay
Category:Monster Prom