Hounddog McBrag (episode)/Transcript

(In Kryptarium Prison, the ninja are awakened by a whistle.)
Main Guard: Rise and shine! Roll out for work detail!
Jay: Ugh. Work detail?
Kai: I didn't know you had to work in jail.
Zane: It is common for prisoners to given labor, as both a means of exercise and of promoting a responsible work ethic.
Cole: Oh. Beats staying here all day.
Lloyd: And it's a chance to show we don't mean any trouble. So no powers, okay?
(The ninja board a bus. Mezmo gives Jay a threatening hiss before he moves to the back.)
Main Guard: Twelve aboard! Lock 'n' load!
Officer #2: Open the trap!
Fugi-Dove: (He jumps at Jay.) Well, well. If it isn't my arch-nemesis, Jay! The ninja of lightning!
Jay: Sorry, have we met?
Fugi-Dove: Oh, you probably don't recognize me in my prison clothes. It is I, Fugi-Dove! (He coos twice.) My cry fills the night?
Main Guard: Zip it and stow it! Once a month we pick up trash along Route 22. Those who work hard, get a few hours in the sun and a nice, cold lemonade.
Cole: Mm, lemonade.
Main Guard: Those who make trouble, get nothin'. Do I make myself clear?
Cole: Crystal.
Jay: Yep.
Main Guard: Alrighty then, let's get this show on the road. Roll out!
(Fugi-Dove turns around and stares at Jay.)
Jay: Yes?
Fugi-Dove: What happened to you, Jay?
Jay: What do you mean?
Fugi-Dove: Why have you turned to a life of crime? And what does this mean for our long-standing rivalry? And how can we be enemies if we're both criminals? You're messing everything up! (He waves his wing in Jay's face.)
Jay: First, I'm not turning to a life of crime! Second, there is no rivalry, and third, you're weird. Stop talking to me.
Main Guard: (He sees a vehicle blocking the road.) Slow down.
(They approach the old man next to the vehicle, who is Dareth in disguise.)
Officer #2: Now what seems to be the problem, sir?
Dareth: Ooh, what's that, young feller? I can't quite hear ya!
Officer #2: I said, what seems to be the problem, sir?
Dareth: Well, one minute she was purrin' along, and then somethin' went screwy, and she started makin' a sound, like a clunka clunka clunka. And then a sound like a chugga chugga chugga. And then she just went pow! (He falls to the ground dramatically.) And rolled to a stop!
Main Guard: Hmm. Sounds like you might have a blown piston.
Officer #2: Yeah, that'll happen if you don't change your oil regular.
Cole: That old guy reminds me of someone. Hmm.
Jay: Yeah, me too.
Fugi-Dove: You're avoiding the subject, Jay!
Jay: What subject?!
Fugi-Dove: How to repair our relationship in the wake of you becoming a criminal!
Jay: I'm not becoming a criminal!
Fugi-Dove: If you're really set on this, here's some free advice. (He coos, but Jay pushes him away.) Get a cool villain name! Like mine! But different, because I already have mine.
Jay: A villain name! Great. Thanks.
Fugi-Dove: Like "The Jay-ler"! Because your name is Jay, get it? And then get some chains so you can smash stuff.
Jay: Ah! That's it. (He turns to leave, but something shakes the bus. He turns to see the Samurai X MECH.)
Cole: Is that who I think it is?
(The MECH detaches the door and kneels down. Nya reveals that she is piloting the MECH.)
Kai: Nya?
Cole: What are you doing here?
Nya: Breaking you out! Let's go. Before someone sees me.
Zane: This course of action seems irrational.
Officer #2: Huh, I don't see anything wrong. Do you?
Main Guard: Nope! Weird.
Dareth: Well, keep lookin', young fellers! Must be somethin'. (He notices Nya giving him a thumbs up.) Oh, heh. That's my cue. Thanks, officers! You fixed it!
Main Guard: Uh, we did?
Officer #2: How?
(Dareth picks up the ninja and drives off.)
Main Guard: Hey! That old guy is helping the ninja escape!
(They turn to see the MECH turning the bus vertical.)
Nya: Sorry, fellers! (She blasts off.)
Officer #2: (on a phone) Uh, ahem. Central? You're not gonna like this.
(In the Mayor's Office, Ulysses Trustable is playing golf. Dwayne bursts through the doors.)
Dwayne: Sir! (He startles Ulysses, whose golf club goes flying before he catches it.) We just got a call from Kryptarium Prison!
Ulysses: Ha! How're the ninja liking prison?
Dwayne: Uh, I don't think they liked it.
Ulysses: Of course they didn't like it, it was a - wait. You said liked. As in past tense. Why - why did you say that in the past tense?!
Dwayne: Because they just broke out, sir!
Ulysses: What?!
(In the Ninjago City Police Station, the Commissioner is painting his model boat. Suddenly, the phone rings.)
Commissioner: (He sighs.) One day I'll finish you. One day. (On the phone) Commissioner's office.
Ulysses: I just found out that the ninja escaped!
Commissioner: Oh, uh, that's ... that's terrible, sir.
Ulysses: You're tootin' right it's terrible! I want them found. You hear me? (To his cat) Eh, not now, Mr. Fussly Fussly, we'll snuzzle later. (On the phone) Found and arrested!
Commissioner: Well, sir, I hate to be a stickler, but uh, I'm afraid Kryptarium Prison is outside Ninjago City.
Ulysses: Uh huh! What's that got to do with it?
Commissioner: Uh, well, sir, my jurisdiction stops at the city limits. I have no authority outside Ninjago City.
Ulysses: Who made up that dumb rule?!
Commissioner: Uh, you did, sir.
(Furious, Ulysses screams and launches his phone into his fish tank with his golf club. He turns to Dwayne.)
Ulysses: Amateur hour is over! Get me Hounddog McBrag!
(In the desert, Dareth takes off his disguise.)
Cole: Dareth! I knew it was you!
Lloyd: I thought you said you had one last strategy, Dareth.
Dareth: This is it! A strategy called breaking you out!
Kai: Please tell me you brought a change of clothes!
Dareth: Sure did! It's in a box behind the seat. Complements of P.I.X.A.L.. I have no idea how she makes this stuff so fast!
(Suddenly, Fugi-Dove pops up from under the clothes.)
Fugi-Dove: Did you bring one for me, Dareth?
Jay: What are you doing here?
Fugi-Dove: You're new at being a criminal. You'll need my criminal guidance if you have any hope of succeeding in your criminal plot!
Jay: Would you stop saying criminal?!
(A police car starts to pursue them.)
Lloyd: We gotta lose them, Dareth!
Dareth: Where? We're in a desert!
Lloyd: Just do it!
Dareth: Okay! (He drives the van off road.)
Fugi-Dove: This, Jaybird, is called a high-speed chase! It's what we criminals do! It will add to your sentence if caught, so I like to plan well ahead.
(The van goes over some boulders while the police car flips over.)
Zane: I told you this was irrational.
Dareth: Heh, we're home free now!
(The van breaks down.)
Kai: No!
Cole: Ugh.
Jay: Ugh!
Dareth: Oh, come on!
(They inspect the van.)
Zane: It appears that this engine has not received regular oil changes.
Lloyd: Can you fix it?
Zane: No. The engine has blown a piston.
Dareth: Wait, that's real?
Kai: But we can't stay here. I suggest we get off the road. Quick.
Jay: Good idea! Real quick, before Fugi-Dove hears.
(They walk through the desert.)
Cole: These new suits are great, but, not exactly the best disguise.
Lloyd: It's no worse than those prison shirts.
Kai: Anyone have any idea where we are?
Fugi-Dove: Not a clue!
Jay: Wha - where - how?!
Fugi-Dove: I am like the dove. Quick! Silent! Deadly!
Jay: Doves aren't deadly!
Fugi-Dove: Maybe not the doves you know.
Jay: None of them are deadly! Doves are a symbol of peace, and love!
Lloyd: Jay! Can we focus? We need shelter. Zane, isn't Twitchy's gas station around here somewhere?
Zane: It is 5.6 miles northwest of our position.
Lloyd: 5 miles? We can make that. Come on!
(In the desert, police cars and a helicopter arrive at the stranded prison bus. Hounddog McBrag walks toward it.)
Main Guard: Oh, wow. Is that Hounddog McBrag?
Officer #2: He's taller than I thought.
Hounddog McBrag: Listen up, rustlers! Got ourselves a couple of runaway horses decided to take a stroll. We're gonna find 'em and bring 'em home. And by horses, I mean ninja. And by take a stroll, I mean broke out of prison. And by bringin' home, I mean throw 'em back in prison. Understood?
Police: Yes, sir!
Hounddog McBrag: Go get 'em, boys.
(At night, the helicopter flies over the ninja.)
Jay: Huh. That was close.
Cole: We can't stay out here forever. They're gonna find us!
Lloyd: I think our chances are better if we split up. We'll meet again at Twitchy's, okay?
Cole: What if someone doesn't make it?
Lloyd: If anyone's not there by noon tomorrow, it means they got caught. The rest continue on alone. Agreed? (They all nod.) Jay, Cole, and I will go this way. Kai, Zane, and Dareth, that way.
Fugi-Dove: And I will of course accompany Jay.
Jay: Why not. You'll just be there anyway.
Lloyd: Good luck.
(The two groups head off.)
Fugi-Dove: My cry fills the night! (He coos.)
Jay: Will you please SHUT UP!
(End of the episode. For more information, click here.)
Category:Transcript
Category:2022
Category:Crystalized