Kuckoo Kat: The Search for Whatzitville (2012 film)/Transcript

Transcript of the 2012 American animated jukebox musical adventure comedy-drama film Kuckoo Kat: The Search for Whatzitville.
==Prologue==
(The Gryphon Animation and Imagine Entertainment logos play)
GRYPHON ANIMATION and IMAGINE ENTERTAINMENT presents
a BRIAN GRAZER production
an ARNOLD LOWE film
Narrator: Once upon a time, many centuries ago, a toon by the name of Kingsley Kat defeated the hellish king Blazespark for destroying his small village. After that, he was known as the "Chosen One". Through the ages, his descendants continued his legacy, ridding the world of evil. However, as time passed, these heroes slowly disappeared. Now, as evil lurks, the world is in desperate need for heroes. Any kind of heroes.
KUCKOO KAT: THE SEARCH FOR WHATZITVILLE
==Part 1: Escape From Toonopolis ==
(We fade into the entrance to the town of Toonopolis with a sign that says "Welcome to Toonopolis! General population: 1,432. Bunny population: Too many to count.") 
(We zoom in through the town and to Kuckoo's house)
Narrator: This is the town of Toonopolis. Nice, isn't it? Quiet, peaceful, serene, adequate. Surely, nothing can interrupt such quaintness.
(Kuckoo bursts through the door, looking beaten up and he then starts to pack up his belongings in a fast manner)
Kuckoo: Gotta hurry up before they find me!
(He then rushes up to his room and packs up his gloves and Kooky's dresses, waking up Kooky)
Kooky: (yawns) Kuckoo, what's going on?
Kuckoo: No time to explain, gotta go!
(Kuckoo rushes out the room)
Kooky: Okay...
(Kuckoo bursts into Smarty's room while he's working on experiments)
Smarty: Come on, Smarty... Just one tiny drop...
Kuckoo: SMARTY!
(Smarty puts a huge amount of a chemical in his experiment)
Smarty: Ah! Yes?
Kuckoo: We gotta get out of here! Come on and pack your things!
Smarty: Wait, what!? What happened?
Kuckoo: No time to explain, we're in a hurry here!
(Kuckoo leaves the room)
Smarty: Gosh, he sure was quick!
(Smarty notices his experiment bubbling and it explodes)
Smarty: Ouch.
(Cuckoo is sleeping in his bed until Kuckoo bursts in his room)
Kuckoo: CUCKOO, COME ON, WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE THEY GET US AND KILL US ALL!
(Cuckoo grabs Kuckoo's mouth)
Cuckoo: Kuckoo, I'm going to kill you if you don't leave my room.
Kuckoo: But, you don't understand!
Cuckoo: I don't think YOU understand. I need to get my 24 hours of beauty sleep and I'm going to have you interrupt it with your nonsensical babbling! NOW, GET LOST!
(Cuckoo kicks Kuckoo out of his room)
Cuckoo: Now, for the rest of my damn peace and quiet...
(Clattering sounds are heard)
Cuckoo: Oh, I wish I was in another movie...
(Kuckoo finally gets everything packed up)
Kuckoo: Okay, I think that's everything... Now, to get all this in the car!
Kooky: *ahem*
(Kuckoo turns around to find Kooky, Smarty, and Cuckoo and he grins sheepishly)
Kuckoo: Oh! Heh heh, what are you guys doing here?
Kooky: Funny, we should be asking you the same thing....
Smarty: Kuckoo, what's going on?
Kuckoo: Uhhh.... nothing.
Cuckoo: Then why don't you explain why all of our stuff are in those suitcases?
(Kuckoo pushes one of the suitcases away)
Kooky: Kuckoo.... just tell us already.
Kuckoo: *sigh* Fine. It was earlier this morning....
(It flashbacks to the town square where everyone is celebrating a huge event)
Kuckoo: Everyone in town was celebrating Toonopolis's 105th anniversary. It was a huge event and everyone was having fun. That is, until I showed up...
Assistant: And now, presenting yours truly.... the mayor!
(The mayor comes onto the stage and everyone applauds)
Mayor: Thank you, thank you! As mayor of Toonopolis, I am glad that this town is still alive and thriving, even after 105 years! And hopefully, we can't experience any mishaps on this blessed day....
Kuckoo: (off-screen) Oh, mayor!
Mayor: Oh no, not him....
(Kuckoo arrives with a big load of fireworks)
Kuckoo: Hello, mayor!
Mayor: What is it now, Kuckoo?
Kuckoo: Oh you know I couldn't miss this event without bringing a special present! And that, of course, is fireworks!
Mayor: Uh, I don't think it would be a good idea to light those. Besides, you always cause many mishaps whenever it comes to big events in this town. Remember what happened on Easter?
(Cut to flashback where Kuckoo brings a rabbit with rabies)
Kuckoo: Look, I found the real Easter Bunny!
Mayor: Or Arbor Day?
(Cut to flashback where the Mayor is crushed by a big tree that Kuckoo cut)
Kuckoo: TIMBER!
Mayor: And do I even need to mention the incident that happened between you and Kooky last Christmas?
Kuckoo: Heh heh, how was I supposed to know she had too much eggnog?
Mayor: THERE WERE CHILDREN THERE!
Kuckoo: Alright, alright, those were in the past. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to light this baby up!
Mayor: KUCKOO, NO!
(Kuckoo lights the fireworks up and they all explode, leaving everyone covered in soot)
Kuckoo: Oops, heh heh, I guess that was one firework too many....
(The citizens get angry at Kuckoo)
Kuckoo: Hey, it was just a simple accident....
Mayor: Everybody.... GET HIM!
(The citizens run after Kuckoo and the flashback ends)
Kuckoo: ....And that's how I ended up like this.
Cuckoo: *sigh* Of course you caused something like this to happen...
(The town end up knocking at the door)
Mayor: OPEN UP THIS DOOR!
Citizen 1: We don't wanna hurt you, WE JUST WANNA MASSACRE YOU!
Kuckoo: Crap, we gotta hide! Quick, to the garage!
(Kuckoo drags everyone to the garage)
Kooky; We gotta get out of here! But how?
(Kuckoo looks at the car)
Kuckoo: I think I have an idea...
(Everyone gets in the car and Kuckoo starts it)
Kuckoo: Wait! Before we get out of here, we need some appropriate music...
(Kuckoo turns on the radio to play the first song in the movie, "Breaking Out")
Kuckoo: Now.... LET'S RIDE!
(Kuckoo crashes through the garage door)
Mayor: AFTER THEM!
(The town chases after them)
I know how it feels
To be cooling my heels
Kuckoo: Now we're getting somewhere!
(Kuckoo drives faster from the crowd as they continue to catch up)
I've been down on them
Long enough
But if I take to them now
Then maybe somehow
You'll see through the bluff
I'm not playing it tough!
(Kuckoo eventually makes it to the junkyard, where another car bumps into them)
Kuckoo: Hey pal, watch where you're goin'!
I've been a lifetime on deposit
(The car window rolls down and it reveals two crazed dogs, one short and one tall)
And that's a long time in the closet
Tall Dog: Get him, Spot!
And if you say to me
Short Dog: Okie dokie, Ringo!
How was it?
(Spot jumps into the car and starts to attack Kuckoo's face)
It was hard taking
That heart breaking
Kuckoo: AAAAH! I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE!
God forsaken route
(Kuckoo starts to swerve the car and Kooky takes a hold of the wheel)
Kooky: You little tramp!
But I'm
Buh buh buh buh buh buh
(Kooky punches Spot off of Kuckoo's face and he lands into the junkyard)
Breaking out!
Ooh!
Kuckoo: Thanks, I needed that.
Ringo: Spot! Why you little-
(Ringo crashes his car into a heap of junk)
You may say that you choose
To be in my shoes
Kuckoo: Ha! We lost him!
But look what it
Did for me
(They then feel something on the car roof)
I got buried alive
I don't thrive on that jive
Cuckoo: What the hell is that?!
Look and you'll see
That the spikes don't fit me
(The mayor rips the car roof off)
I've been a lifetime on deposit
And that's a long time in the closet
Mayor: JACKPOT!
And if you say to me
Assistant: I want the nerdy one first!
How was it?
Spot: LET'S GET THEM!
It was hard taking
That heart breaking
Ringo: You said it, Spot!
God forsaken route
But I'm
Kuckoo: We're done for.
Buh buh buh buh buh buh
(Smarty notices that they are driving to the park and thinks of an idea)
Breaking out!
Buh buh buh buh buh buh
Smarty: I got an idea.
Breaking out!
(Smarty grabs onto the merry-go-round and the mayor's assistant along with the mayor and Spot fly off)
Ringo: You think you can get rid of me?
Breaking out!
(Ringo loses his grip)
Breaking out!
Ringo: I'll get you SOMEDAY!
(Smarty lets go of the merry-go-round and they all fly off, leaving Toonopolis)
Breaking out!
Ooh!
(The song ends)
Mayor: AND NEVER COME BACK!
(We transition to a desert, where the car lands and Kuckoo continues driving)
Kuckoo: We... we made it. We made it out of that chase alive. WE DID IT! HAHAHAHAHA! NOW IT'S NOTHING BUT SMOOTH SAILING FROM NOW ON!
(Kuckoo crashes into a giant rock, totaling the car and leaving everyone in shock)
Kuckoo: Hey, where's the-
(An airbag pops out)
Kuckoo: (muffled) Airbag.
(They all get out the car)
Kooky: Looks like this old hunk of junk is done for.
Smarty: Yep.
Cuckoo: Oh well, looks like we'll starve out here in the middle of nowhere. Fine by me. What about you, Kuckoo?
(Cuckoo notices Kuckoo slowly starting to cry)
Cuckoo: Kuckoo?
Kuckoo: I... I'm so sorry, everyone.
Smarty: Sorry for what?
Kuckoo: I'm sorry for all the stupid things I've done. I always try to help and be a happy-go-lucky person, but every time I try, it always ends up going wrong. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just an idiot?
Kooky: Oh, honey, it's not that. You just tend to go a little over-the-top sometimes.
Kuckoo: I mean, I guess you're right... but now, we don't have a home and it's all because of me. Now where are we gonna live?
(A piece of paper flies into Kuckoo's face)
Kuckoo: Hey!
(Kuckoo gets the paper off of his face)
Kooky: What's that?
Kuckoo: It looks like a map to some place called... Whatzitville. Wait... I think I remember that name.
Kooky: You do?
Kuckoo: Yeah...
(Kuckoo starts to flashback to old memories of him as a baby back in Whatzitville)
Katty: Isn't he just adorable, honey?
Lucky: He sure is, Katty. I'm glad we have our own miracle of life of our own...
Katty: I think we'll call him... Kuckoo.
(We see a few more flashbacks showing Kuckoo growing up and getting introduced to his new brother, Smarty. Eventually, the final flashback is of Kuckoo and Smarty about to leave Whatzitville.)
Katty: Oh, look at my little boys all grown up. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but...
(Katty starts crying)
Lucky: Oh, there, there, honey...
Kuckoo: It's okay, Mom, we'll be fine. We're just moving to Toonopolis. And I promise, nothing bad will happen to me or especially Smarty.
Katty: Okay, dear. It's gonna be awfully lonely here, but we wish the best for you two...
Smarty: Thanks, Mom.
(Kuckoo and Smarty hug their parents and they leave Whatzitville as the flashback ends)
Kuckoo: *sigh* I miss those days... Say, all those flashbacks gave me an idea. What if we go live in Whatzitville?
Kooky: Really?
Kuckoo: Yeah! We can use this map to help lead the way!
Kooky: Well, I've always wanted to visit Whatzitville thanks to all the stories you told me about it, so sure, why not?
Kuckoo: Smarty, what do you think?
Smarty: I would love that! Besides, it would be nice to see Mom and Dad again!
Kuckoo: What about you, Cuckoo?
Cuckoo: You mean you want to know if I want to travel about a few thousand miles to a place I don't really care about? HA! No.
Kooky: Oh well, three against one, we win!
Kuckoo: Well, guys, looks like we're off for another journey. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda nervous on how this'll end up...
Kooky: Oh, don't worry Kuckoo, just remember...
(Kooky dresses up as a fairy godmother)
Kooky: If you believe in yourself, then your courage will help you find the way!
Cuckoo: Fah, what a load of baloney!
Kooky: You know, it isn't nice to mess with fairy godmothers.
(Kooky zaps Cuckoo with the wand)
Cuckoo: Ow.
(Kooky reverts to her normal red dress)
Kooky: Don't worry about him, Kuckoo, we'll make it there...
(Music starts to play, leading to the second song, "High Hopes")
Kooky:
Next time you're found
With your chin on the ground
There's a lot to be learned
So, look around
Kuckoo:
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he'll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant can't
Move a rubber tree plant
Kuckoo and Kooky:
But he's got high hopes
He's got high hopes
He's got high apple pie
In the sky hopes
Kooky:
So anytime you're gettin' low
'Stead of letting go
Just remember that ant
Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant
Kuckoo:
Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant
Kuckoo and Kooky:
Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant
Smarty:
When troubles call
And your back's to the wall
There's a lot to be learned
That wall could fall
Kuckoo:
Once there was a silly old ram
Thought he'd punch a hole in a dam
No one could make that ram scram
He kept buttin' that dam
Kuckoo, Kooky and Smarty:
'Cause he had high hopes
He had high hopes
He had high apple pie
In the sky hopes
Kooky:
So anytime you're feelin' bad
'Stead of feeling sad
Just remember that ram
Oops, there goes a billion kilowatt dam
Kuckoo and Smarty:
Oops, there goes a billion kilowatt ram
Kuckoo, Kooky and Smarty:
Oops, there goes a billion kilowatt ram
(Kuckoo and Kooky dance as a small instrumental break plays)
Kuckoo:
All problems just a toy balloon
They'll be bursted soon
They're just bound to go pop
Kooky:
Oops, there goes another problem ker-plop
Kuckoo:
Oops, there goes another problem ker-plop
Smarty:
Oops, there goes another problem ker-plop
Kuckoo, Kooky and Smarty:
Ker-plop!
(The song ends)
Kooky: Alright, everybody, get your suitcases, we're off to Whatzitville!
(They all grab their suitcases out the car)
Kuckoo: Alright, it looks like the map is telling us to go this way. Come on, everybody, off to Whatzitville we go!
Kooky: His spirit of adventure is inspiring.
(Kooky and Smarty follow Kuckoo)
Cuckoo: Whoopee.
(Cuckoo follows them)
== Part 2: Welcome to Heck ==
(We transition to a city far, far, FAR away from Whatzitville, the city of Heck. We see several demons causing chaos in the city as "Dead Man's Party" plays in the background. We then transition to the castle of VooVoo the Great as he is looking over his new plan in his room)
VooVoo: After all these years, my plan will finally come into fruition. Without any of those pesky "Chosen Ones" alive to bother me, I can finally try to rule the world. No, not just the world, but THE UNIVERSE! Soon, they'll all feel the wrath of VOOVOO THE GREAT! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!
(VooVoo laughs evilly until his pet dragon Sweetiekins comes up and licks his face)
VooVoo: Aw, Sweetiekins, I love you too! I know just the thing for you...
(VooVoo gives Sweetiekins a dog biscuit. The dragon eats it, burps up fire and barks like a dog)
VooVoo: That's a good Sweetiekins!
(Smedley enters the room)
Smedley: Um, sir...
VooVoo: What is it, you sniveling baboon? Can't you see I'm busy?!
Smedley: Yes sir, I see that, but there's a huge problem. 
VooVoo: What is it now? Are the guards starting another strike? Remind me to change their coffee breaks from 1 minute to a minute and a half.
Smedley: No, it's not that. it has something to do with your big evil plan...
VooVoo: What do you mean?
Smedley: *gulp* There's another "Chosen One"...
VooVoo: WHAT?! HOW?! I THOUGHT I KILLED THEM ALL! SHOW ME WHO IT IS!
Smedley: Yes sir, right away sir...
(Smedley pulls up Kuckoo on VooVoo's TV)
VooVoo: Who is that idiot?
Smedley: He is the only living "Chosen One". His name: Kuckoo Quincy Kat. Age: 23. Height: 5'6. It also says here that his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather is Kingsley Kat.
(VooVoo sparks up when he hears the name "Kingsley Kat")
VooVoo: Wait... THAT Kingsley Kat?! The same one that killed my father all those centuries ago?
Smedley: Seems like it, sir.
VooVoo: I can't believe it. There's another "Chosen One" in the world. My plan will be ruined. Wait... I have another idea.
Smedley: Really? How are you gonna do it?
VooVoo: Listen to the simplicity of the plan. I can send someone to kill him and his friends. And I know the one person that can do it. Smedley, get me... One-Eye.
Smedley: *gasps* You mean THAT One-Eye?
VooVoo: Yes, bring him here... now.
Smedley: Yes sir!
(Smedley leaves the room and comes back with one of VooVoo's exiled minions. He was a short, spunky devil with red ruffled hair and only one eye. His name was Orville Doyle, but everyone called him "One-Eye")
One-Eye: Good evening, sir.
VooVoo: Hello, One-Eye. Or should I say... Orville?
One-Eye: I thought I told you not to call me that anymore!
VooVoo: *laughs* Alright, alright... Now pay attention, I have an assignment for you. You see that yellow cat right there? I want you to go out and kill him before he can try to spoil my plans. You got that?
One-Eye: Yes, sir. However, I can't do it alone. Is it alright if I can bring some assistance with me?
VooVoo: Of course.
One-Eye: Thank you, sir. Oh, honey, you can come in.
(A curvy figure enters the room as sultry music plays)
??????: Hello, sugarplums.
VooVoo: Well, if it isn't LooLoo Lipinski.
LooLoo: It's a pleasure to meet you again, Mr. VooVoo.
VooVoo: Same to you.
LooLoo: Don't you worry, me and my darling husband will take care of that yellow pest for you. By the time we get back, he'll be as dead as a doorknob.
VooVoo: That's great to hear. I'm so happy that I could just sing! In fact...
(Everything goes dark and a spotlight appears on VooVoo, One-Eye, and LooLoo while Smedley plays the piano. This starts the third song of the movie, "No More Mr. Nice Guy")
VooVoo:
Gosh, it's such a hoot to see them quaking
When I'm king they'll treat me with respect
And I can't wait to see their poor hearts breaking
So much for politically correct
Up 'til now I've pulled my punches
I intend to eat their lunches
No more Mr. Nice Guy, not for me
If you think that I'm hard-hearted
Lambie pie, I just got started
VooVoo, One-Eye and LooLoo:
No more Mr. Nice Guy, no sirree (no sirree)
VooVoo:
Vengeance is what I believe in
I don't get mad, I get even
As for the world, well that's tragic
VooVoo, One-Eye and LooLoo:
I'm going back to that old black magic
VooVoo:
Good behavior is so much duller
One-Eye and LooLoo:
So much duller
VooVoo:
Time to show my one true color
Baby, Mr. Nice Guy's history
(An instrumental break plays while VooVoo, One-Eye and LooLoo tap dance)
One-Eye and LooLoo:
I'm going back to that old black magic
VooVoo:
Up to no good, I love plottin'
One-Eye and LooLoo:
He loves plottin'
VooVoo:
Yeah, I'm so good when I'm rotten
No more Mr. Nice Guy, wait and see
One-Eye and LooLoo:
Wait and see
VooVoo:
I'll become that nasty, naughty, petty, spiteful
Wicked, wayward, way delightful
Bad guy I was born to be
One-Eye and LooLoo:
You so bad, so bad
(The song ends)
VooVoo: Now is the time to STRIKE! GET THEM! AND I WANT THEM DEAD OR ALIVE! SPECIFICALLY DEAD!
One-Eye and LooLoo: Yes sir!
(One-Eye and LooLoo leave the castle to find Kuckoo)
VooVoo: And after he's gone, the world will finally be mine...
(VooVoo laughs evilly as his face transitions to the night sky of the next scene)
== Part 3: Hillbilly Hullabaloo ==
(The scene transitions to a montage of Kuckoo, Kooky, Smarty, and Cuckoo traveling as "On the Outside" plays in the background. After the montage, the scene transitions to Kuckoo and the others having a campfire in the middle of a swamp)
Kuckoo: Ah, isn't this the life? Just the four of us, together in the middle of a cozy campfire in a nice Southern swamp. Right, guys?
Cuckoo: Oh yeah, sitting out here in a cold, damp swamp almost freezing to death with a bunch of mosquitoes and stinkbugs flying around and a whole lot of predators lurking around who will do God knows what to us. I'm just PEACHY right now!
(Kuckoo, Kooky, and Smarty look at him with confusion)
Kuckoo: I'm guessing that you don't like it out here?
Cuckoo: Gee, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
Kuckoo: Now, now Cuckoo, that attitude won't help you in life. I know something that'll cheer you up.
(Kuckoo grabs a banjo)
Kuckoo: A song!
(Kuckoo tunes the banjo)
Kuckoo: Oh....
(Cuckoo grabs the banjo and slams it across a tree, destroying it)
Kuckoo: Sheesh, talk about a music hater...
Cuckoo: That's it, I'm going to sleep.
(Cuckoo gets into his sleeping bag)
Kuckoo: Yeah, it's getting pretty late, so we might as well hit the hay.
(Kuckoo puts out the campfire and they all get into their sleeping bags as the fourth song in the movie "Lullaby" starts)
Kooky:
I feel the heat from your skin
And the rubble on your chin
You're no good
Kuckoo:
You're no good
Kooky:
You've got dirt on your hands
And everybody understands
You're no good
Kuckoo:
Mmm... you're no good
Kooky:
Oh, what a joke
Kuckoo:
What a joke
Kooky:
You feel like choking
You play for broke
Kuckoo:
You play for broke
Kooky:
He'll leave you smoking
Kuckoo:
Oh, romance is not a children's game
Kooky: 
But you keep going back
It's driving you insane
(A small instrumental break plays)
Kooky:
Drift into the Treacle deep
Slip into its silent depths - go to sleep
With your everything akimbo
Float into the sandman's limbo
Smarty:
Night night
Cuckoo:
Night night
Smarty:
It's time for bye-byes
It's been a great day, thanks a heap
Now it's time for everyone to go to sleep
Kuckoo, Kooky, Smarty and Cuckoo:
Night night
It's time for bye-byes
It's been a great day, thanks a heap
Now it's time for everyone to go to sleep
(The song ends and we transition to the morning sky as the four felines continue their travel in the swamp to Whatzitville)
Cuckoo: Ugh... Kuckoo, how much longer until we arrive at that damn Whatchamacallitland? I'm getting mud all over my feet.
Kuckoo: Don't worry, we only have about... a few thousand miles left!
Cuckoo: Oh, that's fi- A FEW THOUSAND MILES?! OH, C'MON!
Kuckoo: Sorry, Cuckoo, that's the way it's gotta go!
(As the four continue walking, One-Eye and LooLoo secretly follow them)
One-Eye: Alright, LooLoo, all we need to do is follow those four nitwits and once their guard is down, WHAM! We'll kill them!
LooLoo: Ooh, Orville, you old son of a gun! That's a great plan!
One-Eye: I know. Sometimes I even surprise myself!
LooLoo: I just love you and that brain of yours! And your eye, and your lips, and your...
One-Eye: Honeybunch, not now! Maybe when we're finished with our objective...
(The four continue to walk until they come across a mansion)
Kuckoo: Well, look at that! A Southern mansion!
Cuckoo: Finally, shelter! Yahoo!
(Cuckoo runs up to the mansion as the others follow)
Kooky: Hmm, doesn't look too bad...
(Kuckoo knocks on the door and a big Southern bobcat)
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Well, what do we have here?
Kuckoo: Good evening, sir! I am Kuckoo Kat and these are my friends! This is my sweet but sultry girlfriend, Kooky, my smart and naïve brother, Smarty, and my bestest friend in the whole world, Cuckoo!
(Cuckoo slaps Kuckoo's mouth shut)
Cuckoo: Yeah, yeah, introductions are great, anyways, we're kinda homeless for now, think we can crash here?
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Why, sure enough'! Just let Ol' Brick Bobcat settle you four into our humble abode!
Kuckoo: Our?
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Oh, how silly of little ol' me! Bailey, Betty, we got visitors!
Kuckoo: Huh?
(Quickly, the two bobcats enter the hallway)
Lil' Betty Bobcat: What is it, daddy? Huh, huh, what is it?
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Say hello to your new roomies!
Lil' Betty Bobcat: Ooh daddy, they look so cute, especially that adorable little one with the glasses!
(Betty points to Smarty, which quickly makes him blush)
Smarty: M-Me?
Lil' Betty Bobcat: Of course, you cutie patootie!
(Betty grabs Smarty)
Smarty: W-Wait, but-
(Betty hugs Smarty, pushing his face into her cleavage)
(Bailey notices Kuckoo and Kooky)
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: Well, well, well, what have we here?
Kuckoo: Oh hello there, my good man! My name's Kuckoo and this is Kooky, my-
(Bailey pushes Kuckoo out the way)
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: Yeah, nice to meet you, whatever. Now then, what's a sexy doll like you doing here?
Kooky: Ugh, creep.
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: Ooh, the shy type! Listen babe, why don't you stick with me? I've got plenty of charm, appeal, and lots of muscles! Especially in my lips.
(Bailey puckers his lips for a kiss)
Kooky: Yuck!
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Hoo-wee! Looks like we've got young love in our midst! Y'know what this calls for?
Bailey and Betty: A WEDDING!
(Kuckoo, Kooky and Smarty become shocked)
Kuckoo, Kooky and Smarty: WHAT?!
Ol' Brick Bobcat: C'mon, kids! Let's go and get you hitched!
(Bailey grabs Kooky)
Kooky: Hey, don't touch me there!
Kuckoo: Yeah, only I get to touch her there! 
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: Oh, why don't you buzz off?
Kuckoo: But that's my girlfriend!
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: Oh well, ya snooze, ya lose!
(Bailey and Betty go off with Kuckoo and Kooky)
Cuckoo: Welp... I'm out.
(Cuckoo leaves the mansion)
Kuckoo: Cuckoo may not care, but I certainly do! I'm gonna get them back, and I have a plan...
(The scene transitions to the wedding between Bailey/Kooky and Betty/Smarty)
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two cats and these two bobcats in blah blah blah, yak yak yak, yadda yadda yadda...
(Smarty cries as he's in Betty's grasp)
Kooky: What's wrong with you?
Smarty: *sniff* I always cry at weddings!
Ol' Brick Bobcat: ...and if anybody thinks these people shouldn't get hitched, speak now or forever hold ya peace.
Kuckoo: (off-screen) Hold it!
(Kuckoo enters wearing a hat, a mustache, and a salesman disguise)
Kuckoo: Allow me to introduce myself, ladies and gents! My name is Wacky Wally Watson, founder, co-founder, president, vice president, CEO, CFO, CCO, LLC, and FCC of Wacky Wally Watson's Fireworks Factory of Walla Walla, Washington! My, what a wonderful wedding! And such a wonderful wedding deserves a variety of wedding fireworks!
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Well, I dunno...
Kuckoo: Nonsense, my good man! In fact, since I like you, I'm willing to give you all these fireworks for FREE! Now, why don't I go plant these all around while you folks listen to some good ol' fashioned music?
(Kuckoo grabs a stereo that starts to play "I Dreamed of an Hill-Billy Heaven" by Tex Ritter and starts to plant fireworks all over the place. Meanwhile, One-Eye and LooLoo enter the mansion)
One-Eye: Hmm, not a bad looking place... now all we gotta do is find that yellow devil in here and POW! Right in the kisser!
LooLoo: Got it!
(One-Eye and LooLoo go searching in the mansion as Kuckoo finishes planting the fireworks outside)
Kuckoo: And there! Plenty of fireworks set up! Now we just light the fuse...
(Kuckoo lights the fuse)
Kuckoo: ...and I'll just go and have a talk with these two! Bye!
(Kuckoo grabs Kooky and Smarty and runs off with them, running out of his disguise)
Kuckoo: C'mon, Cuckoo!
(Cuckoo runs off with the three and the fireworks go off, exploding the house and launching One-Eye and LooLoo into the air and landing into the bayou water)
One-Eye: (dazed) Well, they certainly weren't in the house...
LooLoo: Yuck, what nasty water! At least things can't get any worse...
(Two crocodiles rise up from the water, menacingly looking down at One-Eye and LooLoo)
LooLoo: Orville...
One-Eye: Yes, sweetie?
LooLoo: Run.
One-Eye: Got it.
(One-Eye and LooLoo scream and run away as the crocodiles chase after them)
== Part 4: Down The River ==
(The scene then transitions to Kuckoo and his friends swimming through the bayou on a large piece of wood that came as debris from the explosion)
Kuckoo: Ah, isn't this nice? Taking a nice scenic route through the Southern bayou... 
Cuckoo: Ha, if this is scenic, then I'm a monkey's uncle! Dirty swamp water, constant flies, dangerous animals that can kill us... And besides, what if those stupid bobcats come back and massacre us?! 
Kuckoo: Oh relax, Cuckoo. After that big explosion, I'm sure those three dolts are gone all the way up to that big Southern mansion in the sky. Now, why don't I entertain you all with a little song? 
Cuckoo: Oh no... 
(Kuckoo starts to play his accordion and sing to everyone)
Kuckoo: 
I don't care about your karma
I don't care about what's hip
No space cadet's gonna tell me what to do
I won't swim in your jacuzzi
You can't make me settle down
I'd rather kick and jump and bite and scratch
And scream until I'm blue
I may as well be hyper
As long as I'm still around
'Cause I'll have lots of time to be laid back
When I'm six feet underground
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead
When are you cosmic cowboys
Gonna get it through your head?
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I don't want no part of that vegetarian scene
I won't buy me a pair of designer jeans
No redwood hot tub to my name
I got all that I want
And if it's all the same to you
I don't need a course in self-awareness
To find out who I am
And I'd rather have a Big Mac or a Jumbo Jack
Than all the bean sprouts in Japan (wow)
So don't ask me what I'm into
I don't need to prove I'm cool
I'll break your arm if you ask me what's my sign
I won't tell you where my head's at
I don't need to see no shrink
Psychosis may be in this year
But I'm really not that kind
And I'm in no hurry to be casual
In fact, I think I'll wait
Until I'm pushing up the daisies
(Like, wow, man, can you relate?)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead (mellow when I'm dead)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead, I'll be mellow when I'm dead (wow)
(Kuckoo finishes his song)
Kooky: Bravo, bravo!
Smarty: Wow, what a performance!
Kuckoo: Thanks, guys! So, Cuckoo, feeling happy now that I've blessed your ears with a sweet serenade?
(Kuckoo notices Cuckoo wearing earmuffs. Cuckoo takes them off)
Cuckoo: Sorry, couldn't hear ya. I was enjoying my silence.
Kuckoo: ...very funny.
(Kuckoo continues rowing)
Kooky: You know, Cuckoo, you should try to appreciate what Kuckoo is doing. He's just trying to cheer us up in dark times like these.
Cuckoo: Oh, please! If you ask me, he's just making things worse. Not only do I have to being out in the hot stinking sun or the cold pouring rain, but I gotta deal with this fool trying to cheer us up with his stupid songs. I just hope nothing else bad happens.
Ol' Brick Bobcat (off-screen): Oh, fellas!
Cuckoo: Just. my. LUCK.
Kuckoo: Oh, crap!
(Ol' Brick Bobcat, Lil' Betty Bobcat, and Lil' Bailey Bobcat arrive on their own debris of wood)
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Thought you could get rid of us, huh?!
Lil' Betty Bobcat: Lemme get the nerdy one, papa! I wanna RIP HIS HEAD OFF!
Kuckoo, Kooky, Smarty, and Cuckoo: AHHHH!
(Smarty starts to row faster. Ol' Brick Bobcat brings out his shotgun and starts to shoot at the characters, blasting some parts of the wood)
Smarty: We're losing wood!
Kuckoo: Don't worry, your dashing hero is here!
Cuckoo: We couldn't afford a better one?
(Kooky slaps Cuckoo)
Kuckoo: Kooky! Bring out the bon-bons.
(Kooky pulls out a bag of bon-bons and fills it into Kuckoo's mouth and aims him at the bobcats)
Kooky: Take this, you slimy scumbags!
(Kuckoo shoots the bon-bons out of his mouth at the bobcats)
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Why that little whippersnapper!
(Kuckoo continues to shoot out the bon-bons until he runs out)
Kuckoo: Uh oh. Out of ammo.
(Ol' Brick Bobcat shoots at more wood and eventually shoots Kuckoo in the arm)
Kuckoo: OW!
Kooky: Kuckoo!
(Kooky goes over to Kuckoo)
Kooky: How bad is it?
Kuckoo: Pretty bad...
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Aw, what's wrong? Can't handle a shotgun, PUSSYCAT?! Bailey! Bring out... "the big one".
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: Sure thing, pop!
(Bailey reaches into a bag and pulls out a huge bomb)
Cuckoo: Holy shit.
(Bailey lights the fuse)
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: CATCH THIS, YA FREAKS!
(Bailey throws the bomb at the four and it explodes the boat, making the four grab onto smaller pieces of debris)
Kuckoo: *cough* Is everyone alive?
Kooky: Yeah...
Smarty: Same...
Cuckoo: Ditto...
(Brick points his shotgun at the four)
Ol' Brick Bobcat: Well, well, well, looks like ya'll got nowhere else to go...
Lil' Betty Bobcat: Don't worry, darlings, we're just gonna RIP YOUR PRETTY HEADS OFF!
Lil' Bailey Bobcat: Hope ya enjoy being FELINE FRICASSEE!
Kuckoo: Uh oh.
(Kooky looks shocked at the upcoming sight)
Kooky: Uh, honey...
Kuckoo: Yeah?
Kooky: Look.
(Kuckoo notices that they're approaching a waterfall)
Kuckoo: Oh fudge.
(The seven characters fall down the waterfall until Kuckoo grabs onto a branch and Kooky, Smarty, and Cuckoo grab onto him)
Kuckoo: Okay... this may look bad... but hopefully this branch might be good enough to hold us all.
(The bobcats grab onto Kuckoo and the branch quickly snaps)
Kuckoo: Stupid, STUPID BOBCATS!!!
(Kuckoo, Kooky, Smarty, Cuckoo, Brick, Betty, and Bailey fall down, screaming as they do. Brick, Betty and Bailey fall onto the sharp rocks while Kuckoo, Kooky, Smarty, and Cuckoo land in the swampy water. Kuckoo swims up to the top)
Kuckoo: *cough* *cough* Kooky? Smarty? Cuckoo?
(Kooky pops out of the water)
Kooky: Right here!
Kuckoo: Oh, thank goodness! What about Smarty?
(Smarty pops out of the water)
Smarty: *cough* *cough* Help!
Kuckoo: Hold on, I got ya!
(Kuckoo grabs onto Smarty)
Kuckoo: There ya go, I got you, buddy.
Smarty: Kuckoo... are you gonna be okay?
Kuckoo: Yeah... I'll be okay. I-I just need some bandages, that's all... Do we have any, Kooky?
Kooky: Yeah, I'll try to put some on your arm when we get to land.
Kuckoo: Thanks, sweetie.
(Kuckoo, Kooky, and Smarty swim to land and Kooky wraps Kuckoo's arm in bandages)
Kuckoo: Wait, where's Cuckoo?
Kooky: He must still be in the water.
(Cuckoo finally emerges out of the water, with several piranhas on him)
Cuckoo: Don't. Laugh.
(Kuckoo, Kooky, and Smarty start to snicker)
Cuckoo: Can we just get going already?
Kuckoo: Alright, fine. Come on, guys. The map's a little wet, but it's still readable.
(Kuckoo grabs the slightly wet map and starts to follow the path. We then see One-Eye and LooLoo looking at the four through binoculars)
One-Eye: Alright, they're still on their path. You got the paraglider?
LooLoo: Yup!
One-Eye: Alright, off we go!
(One-Eye and LooLoo run and jump off using the paraglider, flying in the air until lightning strikes them and they fall down on the ground in pain)
One-Eye: On second thought... *cough* maybe we'll just stick to the ground.
LooLoo: Agreed.
== Part 5: Ol' Huckleberry ==
(The scene transitions to the next morning, where Kuckoo wakes up)
Kuckoo: *yawn* Alright, everybody! Time to wash up before we continue on!
Kooky: Okay, sweetie.
Smarty: Alrighty then.
Cuckoo: Ugh, do we gotta?
Kuckoo: Yes, especially you. If we continue on to Whatzitville without washing, we're gonna have to keep clothespins on our noses.
Cuckoo: Ugh, fine. But how are we gonna wash, idiot? This whole area has nothing but mucky swamp water.
(Kuckoo leads everyone to a pristine and clear pond)
Kuckoo: You were saying?
Cuckoo: Smartass.