Zoltan's Tirade

This is the twenty-fifth episode of The SBFW Chronicles.
==Transcript==
(Zoltan is relaxing in his Hungarian home, when suddenly he hears the Friends theme song on the TV)
TV: I'll be there for you!
(Zoltan smashes the TV with his fist)
Zoltan: NO FRIENDS! NOT IN MY HOUSE!
Le French Guy: Le fuck this shit I'm outta here. (jumps out a window, injuring himself) I'm le okay!
Zoltan: I thought Nickelodeon was a family friendly channel!
(He then notices that it says “Nick@Nite” in the corner)
Zoltan: AT NIGHT?! NOOO! I must contact Nickelodeon about this immediately! Right after burning the French flag.
Le French Guy: (off-screen) Le suck my baguette!
Zoltan: The only baguette I'm willing to suck is Luigi's! Yum… okay it's time for action.
(A dramatic transition plays, and Zoltan starts walking out the door)
Jazzy: Where do you think you're going?
Zoltan: To Nickelodeon. They air Friends.
Jazzy: Oh I see, carry on then. By the way have you seen my sax anywhere?
Zoltan: No.
Jazzy: Fuck
(Zoltan leaves)
Jazzy: I'm horny where's my fucking sax
Mikez: Nothing you do can unfuck the thanksgiving turkey.
Jazzy: Damn it, you're right...
(One long walk to Nickelodeon studios later…)
Zoltan: Yay I'm finally here. Time to complain. Also why is the studio logo a foot?
Dan Schneider: Don't ask.
Dan: Ayy, fellow Dan, how you doing?
Dan Schneider: Take off your shoes. Now.
Dan: Alright, if you insist.
Zoltan: Okay I'm out.
(Zoltan entered Nickelodeon Studios and meets with the receptionist)
Receptionist: Welcome to Nickelodeon Studios, home of SpongeBob and The Loud House, what are you here for?
Zoltan: REMOVE FRIENDS FROM NICK AT NITE!
Receptionist: Haha, you're a funny one. You should write for the Loud House.
Zoltan: I hate asiangs 
Receptionist: Forget I ever said anything. Just get out of here please.
Zoltan: Die
Receptionist: Ok. (Dies)
Zoltan: well that was easy.
(Zoltan enters an elevator and presses a button that says “executive”. The Loud House theme song faintly plays as he goes up to the executive floor. When he arrives, he steps out of the elevator to see a bunch of fancy looking businessmen talking about Nick’s TV scheduling)
Executive 1: So I was thinking, how about we shaft Middlemost Post next?
Executive 2: That's a great idea! Let's do it after the Christmas special like with all the other shows we did that to.
Executive 3: And let's wait until 2030 to air the rest of the It's Pony episodes!
Executive 4: Even better, let's renew Unfiltered for a third season so we have a filler show still!
Executive 2: I have the best idea ever! How about we-?
Zoltan: STOP AIRING FRIENDS!
Executive 3: Ayo is that the new guy?
Zoltan: Uhh… yes?
Executive 3: Excellent. I think airing Kevin Can Wait instead is the best thing we did since shafting Harvey Beaks!
(A Harvey Beaks DVD set on fire is seen on top of a trash pile in the corner)
Zoltan: YAY! My idea worked! See you guys never! (Leaps out the window)
Executive 4: Uhh… he knows we're twenty stories high up, right?
Zoltan: Fuck. (teleports back home) Good thing I got CrazySponge genes.
Mikez: Hello.
Zoltan: FUUUUUU-
Mikez: I'll be there for you!
Noo-Noo from Teletubbies: (to the tune of the Friends theme song) NOO-NOO NOO NOO-NOO!
Zoltan: Shut up or I'll turn you into scrap metal!
(end)
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