Pilot (Episode 1)

Our tale begins. Yugi and Kaiba face-off in a duel.
Cast (in order of appearance): Yami, Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Kaiba, Téa, Grandpa, Mokuba, Pegasus
==Transcript==
{Intro; Duel Monsters cards fly across the screen as Yami introduces the episode.}
YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh! was filmed before a live studio audience.
{Cut to outside outside Domino High}
YUGI: Hey, Joey! Earth to Joey!
{Cut to classroom. Yugi and Joey are facing off in a duel while several students watch.}
YUGI: Hey are you in there? It's your move!
JOEY: Sorry, Yug'. Doing this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games.
{Tristan playfully grabs Joey around the neck.}
TRISTAN: I know what you mean. My voice is pretty crazy too! I'm thinking about changing it.
YUGI: By the way, my Grandpa has a super rare card!
{Cut to behind the onlookers. Seto Kaiba is reading a book alone at a desk.}
TRISTAN: Groovy!
JOEY: Hey, bada-bing!
{Kaiba looks towards Yugi's group}
KAIBA: {thinking} Rare card? That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. And since I'm a child 
billionaire in charge of a huge gaming company, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out.
{Side-wipe to outside Solomon's Game Shop followed by an almost immediate cut to inside.}
{Yugi and co. are standing in the main area of the shop talking to Solomon, who is standing behind the counter.}
YUGI: Hey, Gramps, can we please see your super rare awesome chocolaty-fudge coated mega super card?
GRANDPA: I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
{Solomon holds up the card for all to see.}
JOEY: {Jokingly} That's the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of mook could want a 
card like that?
{Kaiba suddenly appears and proceeds to push the gang out of the way to see the card.}
KAIBA: I'm here for your Blue-Eyes, old man and I won't take no for an answer! Now give it to me.
GRANDPA: No.
KAIBA: Curses! Foiled again. I'm going to go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. {Starts to leave} I'm a billionaire, so nobody will even think about pressing charges.
GRANDPA: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid.
TRISTAN: Big time!
{Fade out to black followed by fade in to Yugi answering a phone in the game shop.. It seems as though some time has passed.}
YUGI: {on the phone} Hello? Game shop.
{Splitscreen to Kaiba on the other end of the line.}
KAIBA: I've kidnapped your Grandpa, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself!
{Kaiba disappears as he hangs up.}
YUGI: Wait, who is this?
{Cut to Kaiba's Dueling Arena. The gang arrive in an elevator into a lobby-like room.Yugi rushes forward as he sees his grandfather lying injured on the floor.}
YUGI: Grandpa! Are you okay?
GRANDPA: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured!
{Kaiba appears in a doorway on the other side of the room, holding the Blue Eyes White Dragon.}
KAIBA: That's right! And now, watch this!
{Kaiba tears the card in two.}
YUGI: {Shocked and appalled} Grandpa's special super rare awesome super card!
JOEY: {Angrily} What the heck did ya do that for?
KAIBA: So that it could never be used against me.
YUGI: {Still shouting In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world?!
KAIBA: Shut up and duel me.
YUGI: {Kneeling down to Solomon.} Don't worry Gramps, I'll win this duel with your deck.
GRANDPA: W-Wait a minute. I've been injured, so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch rival?
YUGI: Pretty much.
GRANDPA: No wonder your parents are never around!
TÉA: {Brandishing a permanent marker} Gather round, everyone, and I'll mark us with a special sign!
{ Cut to Yugi, Joey, Téa and Tristan's right hands, joined together in a circle. Téa has drawn a smiley face spread across each hand.}
JOEY: {Staring at his hand in puzzlement} Uh, Téa. Hey, not for nothing, but... ain't this permanent marker?
TÉA: Oh. Whoops!
JOEY: Why were you even carrying that thing around in the first place?
TÉA: I'm a kleptomaniac. I stole it from school.
TRISTAN: {Offscreen} Hey, my wallet's missing!
TÉA: {Points towards the other end of the room.} Kaiba took it!
Cut to inside the Dueling Arena. The duel has started and Yami has replaced Yugi.}
YAMI: It's time to duel!
KAIBA: Wait, did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your voice?
{A hologram of Hitotsu-Me Giant appears on the dueling field.}
YAMI: {Surprised} Holy Ra! Real monsters!
KAIBA: {Smug} Actually, they're just super-advanced holograms created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game.
YAMI: Okay seriously, you've got to be {bleep}ing kidding me. Who wastes all their money on something like that?
KAIBA: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh butt with three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, that's who!
{Cut to behind Yami to see that three Blue-Eyes White Dragon holograms have appeared.}
YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
KAIBA: Yeah, so?
YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it?
KAIBA: Screw the rules, I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi, so I can finish you!
YAMI: My Grandpa's deck HAS no pathetic cards, Kaiba! {Quietly} Except maybe for Kuriboh. {Normally again} But it also has this {holds up a card}: The unstoppable Exodia!
KAIBA: {Aghast} Ahhh! Exodia! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him!
YAMI: Really? Is that because it's so rare?
KAIBA: {{Nearly sarcastic} No, it's because this game makes no sense. Nobody can figure out how to do it.
YAMI: Nobody except me! Exodia, obliterate!
{After 'me' the scene cuts to a holographic Exodia gathering a ball of energy and hurling it at the Dragons.}
{Mokuba Kaiba enters at the sidelines and rushes towards the field.}
MOKUBA: Big brother! Is it time for my cameo yet?
KAIBA: H-How could you summon Exodia?
YAMI: Kaiba, if you really wish to know, then talk to the hand!
{A Millennium Eye symbol appears on Yami's forehead. He holds up his hand and all colours turn inverse. Cut to Kaiba with still inverted colours. His face seems to shatter and the pieces fall away to reveal a normal-coloured Kaiba.}
KAIBA: Ahhhhhhhh! {faints}
{Sudden cut to a hospital. Solomon is lying in a bed with Téa sitting by him and Tristan in the background. Suddenly, Solomon opens his eyes.}
GRANDPA: I wet myself.
{Cut to Pegasus' castle, inside. Maxamillion Pegasus is sitting in the foreground of a dark room holding a glass of wine. His manservant, Croquet, is standing in silhouette in the doorway.}
CROQUET: Mister Pegasus, sir. it seems the reigning Duel Monsters champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi. A-Also, it's time for your sponge bath.
PEGASUS: Mmmmmmmm...
Fade to the stinger. Yugi fills almost the entire screen with 'CREATED BY LITTLE KURIBOH' in white on black at the bottom.
YUGI: {Audio of Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, taken from the "Circus" episode} Hey hey, fun time! Goofin' off Martian style, wakka wakka!
==Episode Redux==
LittleKuriboh uploaded a new version on YouTube, released on April 13th, 2009, with high definition video and audio. As of right now, he has not spoken of any plans for remakes of other episodes.
<P Align=center><youtube>FbS4EvZuw1M</youtube></P>
==References==
===Inside References===
*This is the first instance of 'Screw the rules, I have money!' from Kaiba.
*This is also the first reference to Tristan's odd voice.
===Yu-Gi-Oh! References===
*Several of the lines in this episode are direct or near-direct quotes from the 4Kids version. Among these are Yugi's first line and much of the "Draw your last pathetic card" exchange between Kaiba and Yami.
===Real-World References===
*The intro is a reference to several sitcoms from the '80s that stated this before every episode, such as Cheers and The Cosby Show.
*"Curses! Foiled again!" is the catchphrase of DC comics character Doctor Sivana.
Category:Episodes