Transcript:The Name of the Game

The episode begins with two boys, Benjy and Jamie, arguing over who is better out of Translucent and the Deep while walking across a road.
Benjy 	Yo, I am so psyched for Invisible Force 2.
Jamie 	Please. Invisible Force 1 was lame. I'm all about Rising Tide.
Benjy 	Rising Tide?
Jamie 	Uh-huh.
Benjy 	The Deep? Translucent could kick the Deep's ass.
Jamie 	(scoffs) How? He's invisible. That's like all he's got. That's it.
Benjy 	Exactly. He sneaks up on the Deep, then boom, motherfucker! Sit down!
Jamie 	Until the Deep makes a shark bite Translucent's dick off.
Benjy 	How's he going to find his dick? It's invisible.
 	Tires then screech and the boys turn around to see a truck being pursued by police in a chase.
Benjy 	Holy shit.
 	The truck then hits through a taxi. Benjy and Jamie start to run away but Jamie falls.
Jamie 	Benjy!
 	Jamie runs back to help Benjy. Maeve then appears.
Jamie 	Come on, get up, get up, get up! Come on, Benjy, come on!
 	Maeve then lands in between them and the truck and it crashes into her. Maeve then smiles at one of the burglars within it. The driver then gets out, removes his balaclava and vomits. Maeve then gets out the back of the truck. She goes around to the front to see the driver and a third burglar have Benjy and Jamie hostage at gun point.
Driver 	Stay back. Just stay the fuck back!
 	Maeve grins.
Driver 	What are you smiling at?!
 	Homelander's heat vision then burns the gun the driver is holding. He screams in pain and falls to the ground. The third burglar then shoots at Homelander as he lands, but does no affect him. Homelander walks towards him and pushes him upwards, sending him flying up.
Benjy 	Homelander?
 	Homelander turns around.
Homelander 	You boys okay?
 	The third burglar lands fatally on a car in distance.
Benjy 	Can I- can I get a selfie?
Homelander 	'Course you can.
 	Benjy and Jamie then walk to either side of Homelander, who puts his arms around them, before they take selfies. A news report then plays over footage of other people having selfies with Homelander and getting hugs.
Jennifer 	The Seven's Queen Maeve and Homelander made another heroic save today, stopping a hijacked armored truck in the streets of Brooklyn, and staying behind for a photo-op with some very lucky fans.
Second reporter 	Jean? Thanks, Jennifer. And now...
 	The camera then zooms out, revealing Hughie cleaning a TV screen.
Hughie 	So this is pretty much everything in one; bluetooth speakers, it's in stereo so you can put it all around your living room, have some fun with it. You said you had a standard cable box, right?
Woman 	Uh-huh.
Hughie 	Okay, so I need to get you an audio transmitter, aptX, low latency, it makes it so there's less audio lag. And it's got a standard optical in. And let's hook you with 1000 meg HDMI- let's go with this one.
 	Hughie gives the carbon to the woman.
Hughie 	It costs a little bit more but the carbon's way more conductive.
 	It then cuts to Hughie hanging up a mouse and then pausing, before he turns to his boss, Gary.
Hughie 	Hey Gary, I really need to talk to you about something.
Gary 	Later kid.
Hughie 	Okay, cool. Late- you what- like... in what like thirty minutes, like a solid forty-five?
 	The door to the store opens and the bell rings and Hughie's girlfriend, Robin, comes in.
Robin 	Excuse me, sir? Hi. I'd like to make an appointment for to come over and... lay some cable.
Hughie 	Okay... uh... oh, Robin. Oh dear, dear, Robin. Um... that doesn't mean what you think it means.
Robin 	Um... laying cable means sex.
Hughie 	No, no, laying pipe means sex. Laying cable means you want me to come over to your house and... just take a big old shit.
Robin 	(laughing) That's disgusting.
Hughie 	Well, okay but you- who- who said it though?
Robin 	Okay, are you ready? Despite your best efforts, I am actually still hungry.
Hughie 	Actually more hungry now.
 	The both leave the store and walk alongside each other.
Robin 	(laughing) Where're we going to go after all this...
Hughie 	I don't know.
Robin 	...hot talk, you know?
Hughie 	More importantly, where're we going to go to lay some cable afterward?
 	Robin laughs
Hughie 	Jeez.
Robin 	So did you ask 'em?
Hughie 	Who?
Robin 	Gary. Did you ask Gary for the raise?
Hughie 	Yeah, yeah, it was- it was uh... like a crazy day and you were super busy but... tomorrow for sure, yes.
Robin 	Okay.
Hughie 	What was I supposed to do? Was I uh- kick his door down, like Homelander?.
Robin 	I said okay.
Hughie 	Yeah but you didn't mean it. Hey I see the look. I see it. Come on.
 	They stop and face each other.
Robin 	This is like when we started dating.
Hughie 	I don't think that's- I don't think that's true.
Robin 	Dude, I had to ask you out.
Hughie 	Well... excuse me for waiting, ever hear a chivalry?
Robin 	Listen, this is about you getting what you deserve. I'm killing myself at school because I think it's gonna be worth it for both of us, y'know if we move in together.
Hughie 	Wait what? Wait-w-w-w-w hey-hey-hey-hey-hey. What was that? What'd you just say?
Robin 	Well, I mean we can't keep you know, laying pipe at your dad's place, trying to be all quiet, staring up at that dumb Billy Joel...
 	They then kiss.
Robin 	poster.
Hughie 	Hey, don't you ever besmirch Billy Jo-
 	Robin then suddenly disappears. In slow motion, wind blows and blood splashes on Hughie's face. Hughie then looks to his right and sees A-Train panicking.
A-Train 	I can't stop- I can't stop- I can't stop- I can't stop- I can't stop- I can't stop.
 	A-Train then runs off. Hughie then looks forward.
Hughie 	Robin?
 	Hughie then looks down to see he is still holding Robin's hands, but only her forearms remain.
Hughie 	Robin? Robin?! ROBIN!
 	The scene then cuts to Des Moines, Iowa, where Starlight is awoken by an alarm. She then works out.
Starlight 	I am Starlight, I am one hundred and ten pounds and I am five foot six.
Casting director	Turn around please.
 	Starlight turns around.
Casting director	Okay. Let's see it, dear.
Starlight 	You should look away.
Casting director	Sorry?
Starlight 	You should look away from the camera, and you should close or eyes, or else I'll blind you.
 	Starlight's eyes glow and the room goes white and knocks the camera over.
Starlight 	I am so sorry. Are you all right?
 	The scene cuts to a shot of Starlight in the bathroom. She puts down a cup of urine.
Starlight 	I was born super-abled. Uh, my mom was thrilled. She took me to all the little miss hero pageants, but I hated it. Ugh, I mean, I can still smell the hairspray. Uh, but, at the Q and A, they always asked me what my wish was, and I always said, "to save the world." And the judges just chuckled like it was cute. But it wasn't a joke to me. Since when did "hopeful" and "naive" become the same thing? I mean, why would you get into this business if not to save the world? That's all I have ever wanted. And that's why I've always wanted to be in the Seven.
 	The scene cuts to Hughie sitting down on his couch and watching TV and looking distraught. Hugh Sr. sits down next to him.
Hugh Sr. 	Thought Robin's service was nice. Did you see how many people came? Wow. Lot of respect for the girl. Lot of love in the room. And the spread. What a spread. Just really nice.
 	On the TV, Stillwell is speaking in a conference on Robin's death with A-Train stood next to her.
Stillwell 	That does not begin to convey the terrible regret-
Hugh Sr. 	Aw, geez. Maybe there's a movie on.
Hughie 	No, keep it.
Hugh Sr. 	No, we can switch-
Hughie 	Keep it.
A-Train 	My deepest condolences to Robin Ward's family. I was chasing these bank robbers. She just stepped in the middle of the street, and I... I couldn't...
Hughie 	Middle of the... She was a half-step off the fucking curb!
Hugh Sr. 	Oh, now, come on, Hughie. Just, uh, don't get upset, okay? Just... He knows.
 	The doorbell rings, then the scene cuts to Hughie sitting at the table with a Vought lawyer on the other side.
Lawyer 	Everyone at Vought is just, just wrecked about Robin. Now, you two weren't married, and look, technically, there's no legal claim. But Vought wants to do the right thing: offer you $45,000 in restitution. All you have to do is sign right here, and I'll offer you the check.
Hughie 	This is a confidentiality agreement?
Lawyer 	It's a boilerplate NDA.
Hughie 	I sign this, and I can't talk about it? Have to pretend like it didn't happen, like I wasn't holding Robin's arms in my hands?
Lawyer 	Look, I know you're upset, but we're just trying to help.
Hughie 	Then say you're sorry.
Lawyer 	Excuse me?
Hughie 	I mean, you people say "our condolences" and "my sympathies" and "our regrets,” but nobody can look me in the fucking eye and say "I'm sorry!" I'm not signing anything. Get out.
 	Hughie then grabs the lawyer.
Hughie 	I said get the hell out!
 	The past minute is revealed to be a fantasy in Hughie's imagination. Hughie stares ahead blankly. panting slightly.
Lawyer 	You okay? As I said, boilerplate NDA, really. Pretty standard stuff.
Hughie 	Can I think about it?
Lawyer 	If you have any questions at all, just, uh...
 	The lawyer taps his business card in front of Hughie. He gets up and leaves. The scene then cuts to a shot of a trophy shelf in Starlight's kitchen. It then pans to show Starlight listening to a police radio. Her mother walks in.
Dispatcher 	Unit 44, code 20. Address is 1420 63rd Street-
Donna 	Any maniacs out there?
Starlight 	Mmm-hmm. Quiet night. Like every night.
Donna 	That's too bad. We could really use the press right now.
 	Starlight pours herself some food.
Donna 	Oh, Annie.
Starlight 	I'm hungry. Don't worry. I didn't get the job.
Donna 	You don't know that.
Starlight 	They're auditioning girls nationwide. Besides, Countess probably got it. She's so good in a room.
 	The phone rings.
Donna 	If you're negative, negative things happen to you.
 	Donna picks up the phone.
Donna 	Hello? Yes, I'm her mother. Uh, yes. Uh, one moment.
 	She hands Starlight the phone.
Donna 	It's them. It's them.
Starlight 	Hello? Yes, this is she... I got it?
 	Starlight and her mother immediately begin jumping and yelling in glee.
Donna 	You got it! You got it!
Starlight 	Shh!
Donna 	Oh my God.
Starlight 	Uh, I'm so- I'm so sorry. It's a weird connection. I don't know what that was, actually. Uh... Mm-hmm.
 	The scene cuts to Hugh Sr. sitting on the couch watching TV. Hughie walks around in the background.
Hughie 	Oh, shit.
 	Hugh Sr. watches Hughie walk around.
Hugh Sr. 	Whatcha doing?
Hughie 	Can't file a criminal case against A-Train. Supes are like cops. They can't be charged for damages while they're on the job.
Hugh Sr. 	Okay...
Hughie 	But maybe we can file a wrongful death. I just got to get Robin's parents to sign off on it.
Hugh Sr. 	Hughie, come sit with me.
Hughie 	Dad, I'm not... I'm right... Okay.
 	Hughie sits on the couch. His father pats him.
Hugh Sr. 	Good for you. You want to make this right, what happened to Robin.
 	Hughie smiles.
Hugh Sr. 	But you can't. So sign this.
 	Hughie's smile fades and his father hands him the NDA.
Hughie 	What?
Hugh Sr. 	This is a lot of money, Hughie. We could really use it.
 	Hughie stands up.
Hughie 	I can't... Dad, they killed her.
Hugh Sr. 	Be realistic, okay? Even if we could pay for a lawyer, and that's a big if there's no. She was in the street. Be like if a bus hit her.
Hughie 	Dad, she was on step off the curb. I-I saw it!
Hugh Sr. 	Hughie, look, look. You can't do this.
Hughie 	Why not, Dad? I have-
Hugh Sr. 	You don't have the fight. You never have. I'm sorry, but it's… it's true. Neither do I. Now come and, come and sit with me, okay? Remington Steele's on.
 	Hughie walks out the door.
Hugh Sr. 	Hughie! Where are you going? (sighing)
 	The scene then cuts to a red carpet event. camera pans down to a shot of a large crowd around the red carpet. Ashley waits at the end. Starlight and her mother get out of a limo.
Ashley 	There she is! Welcome to New York. I'm Ashley Barrett, director of talent relations.
Starlight 	So, uh, are all these people here for me?
Ashley 	Oh, honey. Who else would they be here for? Come on. We're running late.
 	Annie and her mother follow Ashley as they look around at all of the screaming fans and paparazzi. Cut to inside the building as Stillwell speaks at the shareholder's meeting.
Stillwell 	Ladies and gentlemen, it is without a doubt a good time to be in the Superhero business. Our net income is up 14%. Our latest film, G-Men: World War, just grossed shy of $1,700,000,000 world-wide. And this fall, we break ground on our newest theme park outside of Paris. The branding opportunities are limitless. But, you know, none of that really matters. Because job one is managing, supporting, and advising the brave heroes who put themselves in harm's way each and every day for us. Let's take a look.
 	She gestures towards a big screen behind her. It begins playing a commercial for Vought's superheroes, which is narrated by her.
Stillwell 	A world without crime, with liberty and justice for all, that's within our reach, thanks to the 200+ superheroes in the Vought family. We see a bright future ahead, where there is a Vought hero in every town.
 	The scene cuts to the backstage, where Ashley leads Starlight and her mother towards the stage.
Ashley 	You're doing really well, by the way, so far.
Starlight 	I- I haven't done anything yet.
Ashley 	Yeah, exactly. You're already up 2.5 points with Midwesterners and conservative Christians in 18 to 49. That speech, by the way, your audition, oh! It was modest; it was humble. Really fucking smart choice.
Starlight 	Uh, I, I meant it.
Ashley 	Yeah, that's why we love you. So you ready for your life to change?
 	The video continues.
Stillwell 	-including the jewel in Vought's crown, the greatest superhero team the world's ever seen: the Seven. That is our job, our honor. We are Vought. We make heroes super.
 	The video ends. The audience applauds. Madelyn returns to the mic.
Stillwell 	I have a very exciting surprise for you. Both a member of the Seven, and Lord of the Seven Seas, live and in person, the Deep!
 	The Deep walks out on stage to the mic to applause.
Deep 	Thank you. Thank you, everybody. After a long, distinguished career with the Seven, my good friend, the Lamplighter, has retired. Let's give him a big "thank you.” What do you say?
 	The audience applauds.
Deep 	But now, as we turn towards the future, I'd like to introduce someone very special. And I, for one, can't wait to work with her. Please welcome Starlight.
 	Backstage, Starlight looks nervous. Ashley pushes her out.
Ashley 	Go!
 	Starlight walks out on stage. The Deep greets her. They both wave towards the crowd. Stillwell returns to the mic.
Stillwell 	Ladies and gentlemen, Starlight and the Deep!
 	The Deep continue waving while Starlight stares around at the audience.
 	The scene cuts into a shop. Hughie enters. He grabs some beer, then looks up to see A-Train branded beer. He begins panting. Looking around and walking to the counter he also encounters A-Train cereal and a cardboard cutout of A-Train. At the counter, the store clerk is reading a tabloid with A-Train on the cover. Hughie's panting gets worse.
Clerk 	Hey, buddy, you okay?
 	Hughie falls backwards into some shelves.
Clerk 	Hey, buddy!
 	The scene then cuts into the Seven HQ. The Deep and Annie get off an elevator into the Seven's main conference room. He leads her around.
Starlight 	Wow.
Deep 	Pretty cool, huh? Oh, hey, check this out. We have 2 World View-4 satellites in geocentric orbit. We can essentially read a getaway car's license plate from 380 miles up.
Starlight 	That is just... I mean, I was working with a police scanner that I bought on eBay.
Deep 	Yeah, well, not anymore you're not. Oh, and wait till you check out the dining room. We, uh, may or may not have stolen Miro from Gramercy Tavern. Yeah, he's fan-fucking-tastic.
Starlight 	That's his, isn't it?
 	She looks at the chair at the head of the table.
Deep 	Homelander's? Yeah. But you'll have your own soon. Here. Come on.
 	He pulls out Homelander's chair.
Deep 	Give it a test drive. Come on. Oh, you- you okay?
Starlight 	It's just... I used to stand in the mirror, pretending to be where I am right now.
Deep 	You know something? On my first day, I, uh... Well, I felt like a fraud. Yeah. But the good news is, everybody feels that way.
Starlight 	Thank you.
Deep 	And, hey, we're a team now. We'll help each other out. I bet growing up you had a poster of Homelander on your wall, huh?
Starlight 	No, actually, I... I don't know, Homelander's so... He's like Jesus or something. If you want to know the truth, I actually had a poster of you.
Deep 	Really?
Starlight 	Yeah, yeah.
Deep 	Oh.
Starlight 	I kind of... I kind of had a schoolgirl crush on you.
Deep 	Oh my God.
Starlight 	Oh my God. I hope that's not inappropriate to say.
Deep 	No, no, no, no, no. It's not inappropriate at all. It's just, it's kind of wild.
 	Starlight looks out the window for a moment, then turns and sees The Deep has pulled his pants down and begun masturbating.
Deep 	What? I mean, you said you had a crush on me. I figured that, you know...
 	Starlight hurriedly walks away, disgusted.
Deep 	Whoa, whoa, wh-wh-whoa, hey. Look, you're gorgeous. I'm not I'm not talking about sex, just a little bit of pole-smoking. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's just a question of how bad you want to be in the Seven.
Starlight 	Excuse me?
 	Her powers flare up, shattering some nearby screens and causes the lights to flicker.
Deep 	Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Take it easy. Settle down. We're just, we're just talking. And look, I know that you're powerful. I get it. Your powers are no joke. The thing is I am number two around here. So, like, if I say so, you know, you'd be out of here. Especially since you attacked me.
Starlight 	I what?
Deep 	Yeah, look.
 	He gestures towards the broken screens. As he talks, he walks over to her.
Deep 	I mean, Iowa's sweetheart, the Defender of Des Moines, just went psycho on the Deep. I mean, that that could put you out of the business. Yeah. I mean, home to Mommy, tail tucked between your legs. Just think of all those kids. I mean, the kids. Those kids who look up to you, they'd just be shattered. I mean, that's not what you really want, right? Or, we come together as a team. You and me, we just roll with the punches, for, like, three minutes, maybe. It's not a big deal. And then you know what happens? All your dreams come true.
 	The scene cuts to a Translucent interview on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
Jimmy 	I'm sure you guys have all heard that Translucent stopped a home invasion in Yonkers last night, a young, single mother and her two kids. Just incredible. Just... So tell us, how are you able to, to vanish?
Translucent 	No, I don't actually vanish. My skin turns into this carbon meta-material that bends the light. Like an invisibility cloak.
 	The interview is playing at Hughier's workplace on a number of monitors.
Jimmy 	All right, but just to be clear, you have to be completely naked, right?
 	The door opens. Hughie turns to look and sees Butcher looking at a nanny cam.
Hughie 	You interested in a nanny cam? 'Cause we're actually running a special on that. Um, it's a pretty popular bear. There's cameras in the eyes.
Butcher 	Tell me, how many nannies shake their babies?
Hughie 	Uh, I'm sorry?
Butcher 	You know, a good hard shake, like, like tryin' to get ketchup out of a bottle. 1%? Less?
Hughie 	I don't really know.
 	Butcher puts the nanny cam down.
Butcher 	Funny, that. They sell a billion dollars worth of that shit worldwide. Goes to show you, doesn't it? The bollocks people will believe if you get them scared enough.
Hughie 	Cool. Cool, cool. Um, is there anything I can help you with today, or... ?
Butcher 	I'm not gonna piss you about, Hughie. I heard what happened to Robin.
Hughie 	I'm... I'm sorry, who are you?
Butcher 	She wasn't in the street, she was one step off the fucking curb, and you didn't take the pay-off.
Hughie 	Yeah. I said, who the hell are you? How do you know that?
Butcher 	Name's Butcher. Billy Butcher. (showing his FBI badge) Listen, I was thinking that, uh, you and me should have a little bit of a chat.
 	The scene cuts to them walking on a busy sidewalk outside.
Hughie 	You're a Fed? You don't sound like a Fed.
Butcher 	What, I can't immigrate? There's a giant green slapper with her ass in the harbour that says different.
Hughie 	You don't really look line one, either.
Butcher 	No? What do I look like?
Hughie 	Like you're starring in a porn version of the The Matrix.
Butcher 	Well, it's alright there in black and white.
Hughie 	Okay. Uh, what exactly can I do for you?
Butcher 	No, you got it all wrong, Hughie. It's what I can do for you. You see, you ain't alone, son. It happens a lot more than you think. Supes lose hundreds of people each year to collateral damage.
Hughie 	No. Come on, that'd be all over the news. People would be screaming bloody murder.
Butcher 	Yeah, look, there might be the odd mention of it now and again, like with Robin, but there's a fuck-sight more that happens that just gets swept right under the rug.
 	They stop walking.
Hughie 	Why?
Butcher 	Ain't it obvious? Movie tickets, merchandising, theme parks, video games. A multi-billion dollar global industry supported by corporate lobbyists and politicians on both sides. But the main reason that you won't hear about it is 'cause the public don't want to know about it. See, people love that cozy feeling that Supes give them. Some golden cunt to swoop out of the sky and save the day so you don't gotta do it yourself. But if you knew half the shit they get up to... Ooh. Fuckin' diabolical. But then, that's where I come in.
Hughie 	Come in to to do what?
Butcher 	Spank the bastards when they get out of line.
Hughie 	How do you spank a Supe?
Butcher 	Come on, son.
 	Butcher begins to walk away.
Hughie 	Uh, where?
Butcher 	You'll love it.
 	Butcher turns back to Hughie.
Hughie 	Uh, not likely. Uh, listen. I think this is good; I'm good. Uh, thank you for an extremely weird conversation, but, uh, I don't want to go to a second location with you. So, I'm gonna get back to work. Thank you.
 	Hughie begins walking away.
Butcher 	Hughie! Hughie. This is your one and only, mate. Once I go, I'm gone. I'm offering you the opportunity to get them that got your girl. What have you got to lose that you ain't already lost?
 	Butcher walks away. Hughie stands for a few moments before following him down an alley.
Hughie 	Where are we?
Butcher 	Keep your mouth shut.
 	Butcher knocks on a door. Harry opens a slot on the door to talk to him.
Butcher 	Harry. Got your message. Thank you for being an upstanding citizen.
Harry 	You know this is fucking police brutality, man. You know what they'll do to me, they catch me letting you in?
Butcher 	Not half of what I'll do if you don't.
Hughie 	Did he just say you were police?
Butcher 	Yeah, you know, cop, Fed, all the same to twats like that.
 	The door opens. Butcher pulls Hughie inside. Hughie stares shocked at the debauchery taking place, include some couples having sex while floating midair.
Hughie 	Holy shit.
Butcher 	Pick your jaw up off the floor and try to blend in. This is the only place where the Supes can scratch their filthy little itch without the paps taking snaps.
 	Hughie watches Termite shrink and then run and jump into a woman's vagina. He sees Ezekiel receiving oral sex nearby.
Hughie 	Wait, wait, wait. That's Ezekiel. The "Capes for Christ" guy preaches all that "pray the gay away" shit.
 	Ezekiel stretches across the aisle between another two men on a couch nearby.
Butcher 	And now he's the meat in the manwich. Fucking hypocrite.
 	They step over Ezekiel. Cut to the back room. Harry shows Butcher and Hughie security footage.
Butcher 	Keep going forward. That's it. Further. Further. There. There. Stop.
 	The footage shows A-Train sitting in a booth.
Hughie 	Wait, wait, wait. A-Train's... A-Train's here right now?
Butcher 	Was. This is from last night. Turn it up.
 	Big Game sits next to A-Train.
Big Game 	I cannot believe you ran through a bitch.
A-Train 	You want to hear something crazy? I ran so fast through this bitch that I swallowed one of her molars. Like a bug on the fucking freeway.
Big Game 	Dude, that's nasty.
 	The pair begin laughing.
Hughie 	They're laughing. Just, like she's a joke. They're fucking laughing.
Butcher 	So what are you gonna do about it?
 	The scene cuts to Starlight vomiting in a toilet. She exits the stall to see Maeve standing nearby. Annie washes her face. Maeve hands her some tissues.
Maeve 	Oh, for Chrissakes. Clean yourself up. Never let them see you like this. Translucent, you're a goddamn pervert.
 	Maeve leaves. Translucent makes himself visible, having been standing naked nearby.
Translucent 	Ah... Oh, uh... I'll just go.
 	The scene cuts to a bar where Hughie and Butcher sit across from each other.
Hughie 	They're all like that? All of them? Even Homelander?
Butcher 	Homelander's the exception. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. Man's a saint. But the rest of 'em, yeah. Pardon my French, fuck those fuckers. Here. Have a shufti of that.
 	Butcher hands Hughie some files.
Hughie 	What are these?
Butcher 	That's the police log the day that Robin got murdered. Couple of bar fights. A few cars got nicked. But you know what's not in there? No bank alarms going off. No one charged at Central Booking. A-Train stopped two bank robbers, my arse. Someone's fucking hiding something.
Hughie 	Hiding what?
Butcher 	Well, I don't know, whatever dodgy shit he was up to that night. Why couldn't he stop? I mean, what was in that bag? You know? Who was he running from?
Hughie 	Or where was he running to?
Butcher 	Bingo. Work that out, and we'll have the fucker, I can smell it.
Hughie 	Okay. Okay, so, um, what can I do to help?
Butcher 	Here's what you do. Ring Vought, tell 'em you'll take the money, sign the NDA, but only if A-Train's there is person when you do it.
Hughie 	Why does A-Train need to be there?
Butcher 	Then they'll take you into the Seven Tower, through security, mate, and then you're gonna plant a bug.
Hughie 	A bug?
Butcher 	A bug. And we'll have a little listen. See what's really going on.
Hughie 	Okay, let me just, sorry, let me just get this straight. You want me to, you want me to go to Seven Tower by myself, and-and you want me to plant a bug, like I'm what, like I'm fuckin' James Bond?
Butcher 	Yeah, exactly. You got it.
Hughie 	You're FBI. If you're FBI, then get a warrant. Why do you, why do you even need me?
Butcher 	Hughie, Hughie, look, mate, I got a warrant, all right? But that place is firewalled, untappable, and locked up tighter than a nun's knickers. I couldn't get myself in there in a million years. But you, son, you could do it.
Hughie 	No, no, I can't, okay? I can't. No. You didn't see A-Train covered in... And, and I'm, what, I'm just supposed to go in there, and I'm supposed to I'm supposed to shake his hand? And smile?
Butcher 	Yeah.
Hughie 	I'm not g- I'm not… Do you know who my favorite musician is?
Butcher 	Who?
Hughie 	James Taylor. Number two, Simon and Garfunkel. Number three, Billy Joel. Any of those guys, they don't infiltrate. Okay? I'm not an infiltrator.
Butcher 	Hughie, Hughie, fucking grow a pair. You heard that cunt laughing at your girl.
Hughie 	No. No. No. No, I can't. I can't do that. I'm sorry, I'm just gonna fuck it up, and you're not gonna have your bug, and I'll be dead. I'm not, I'm not like you.
 	The scene cuts to Stillwell's office. Stillwell sits down across from Steve, the Mayor of Baltimore. He's holding a signed photo of Homelander.
Steve 	This is amazing, Madelyn. Thank you for this. My kid is gonna lose his mind.
Stillwell 	Ah, it is our pleasure. Just do not sell it online.
Steve 	All right. What are you thinking?
Stillwell 	Baltimore is a beautiful town. But you've got a problem. Your homicide rates are up, what, sixty-two percent? The police are not closing cases. You're on the verge of needing a federal lifeline.
Steve 	Cut to the chase, Madelyn. Who are you proposing?
Stillwell 	Nubian Prince. Fits your population's demo, but not too militant. Caucasians love him, too, with a fifty-nine percent approval rate. I am willing to give you a three-year exclusive contract with full PR support, and I'm gonna give you nine-and-a-half points of the merchandising.
Steve 	I thought he was in Detroit.
Stillwell 	Well, we're thinking about making a move.
Steve 	How much?
Stillwell 	Three hundred million a year.
 	They both chuckle.
Stillwell 	I know, I know, it's a tough swallow. But we both know that your city needs a hero.
Steve 	Two hundred million for Nubian Prince. I can sell that.
Stillwell 	Mm. I'm sorry, Steve, I can't do it. We've got Atlanta waiting in the wings.
Steve 	I think maybe you can.
Stillwell 	And why is that?
Steve 	I happen to know about Compound V.
 	Homelander quickly flies by the window outside without either noticing.
Stillwell 	What is Compound V?
Steve 	It's the type of rumor that could really tarnish those heroes of yours. Nobody wants that. People need heroes. Now, I can make sure that that stays a rumor, because I'm a friend. But friendship does cut both ways.
Stillwell 	I'm sorry, Steve, I don't know what you're talking about. Three hundred million is the price, or we go to Atlanta.
 	The scene cuts to Starlight talking on the phone with her mother who has photos of her from a tabloid.
Donna 	So, how amazing is it? What's Homelander like?
Starlight 	Uh, he's busy. I haven't really met him yet, but Mom, I got to tell you what happened.
Donna 	Oh, I forgot. I was playing mah-jongg with Patty and Trish, and Patty is going on and on about how her daughter got into med school, and I'm thinking, so what? My daughter got into the Seven! Anyway, so, so, what did you want to tell me?
Starlight 	Everything's great. Just how we dreamed. Um, mom, actually, you know what? I have to go.
Donna 	All right. Bye, honey.
 	Annie hangs up. She's sitting on a park bench. The camera pulls back and reveals Hughie sitting a few feet from her eating a sandwich.
Hughie 	Um, excuse me. I'm sorry, a-are you okay? Just seemed like a tough call. Sorry. I don't mean to bother you.
Starlight 	No, no, it's okay. Uh, I'm fine. I'm just… I'm just having a bad day.
Hughie 	Yeah, me, too. Uh is it, like, a- a work thing, or a- a life thing?
Starlight 	It's a work thing. You?
Hughie 	Uh, life thing.
Starlight 	You know how you have this image of yourself? Like, I thought I was strong. You know? Like, made of steel. A fighter. And then I was faced with this horrible situation with this asshole and I just heard my mom's voice in my head, "Keep smiling, the show must go on," and I didn't fight. And now I just feel sick. Partly because I did it, but mostly because turns out I'm not who I thought I was. Oh. Oh, I'm, um, sorry. Uh I-I didn't mean to just dump all of that onto you.
Hughie 	No, no, it's totally fine that you dumped. Um, listen, d-do you like your job?
Starlight 	Oh. It's the only thing I've ever wanted.
Hughie 	And it's a good job? Like, you're not selling kids smack?
Starlight 	No, it's a great job. I could help a lot of people.
Hughie 	Thing is, I, um... used to know this girl, and we used to go skating at Rockefeller, and I'd be on the side with this death grip on the rails. She would just charge headfirst into the middle of the rink. And she wasn't good. Like, she fell a lot but she was never scared. And she always used to say, "Just 'cause you fall on your ass doesn't mean you have to stay there." So you fell on your ass, you know? That's not who you are. So who are you?
Starlight 	I'm a fighter. I'm gonna fight. Yeah. I'm gonna take that son of a bitch's head clean off his body.
Hughie 	Okay. Wow, that was... Okay. Cool. Little scary, but, but cool. I'm-I'm Hughie, by the way.
Starlight 	Annie.
 	They shake hands. The scene then cuts to Butcher sitting alone at the bar. Hughie comes in and sits next to him.
Hughie 	Okay, man, I'm in.
 	The scene cuts to the pair in the bathroom. Hughie calls the Vought lawyer while Billy listens in.
Hughie 	Okay, it's ringing.
Lawyer 	Yeah, hello?
Hughie 	Hi. Hi. Yes, hello. Hello, Mr. Friedman. It's Hughie Campbell. I got your message, and-and forty-five K, it's just it's just it's bingo, like, life-changing. Um, but I just need one thing before I sign anything. I need an apology from A-Train.
Lawyer 	Uh, he already apologized.
Hughie 	Well, no, no, no. No, he hasn't. Yes, he sent his he sent his regrets and his sympathies on, on TV, but I, if I could just get an apology face-to-face, that would be fantastic. Just to, just for closure, just to put just to put a button on it.
Lawyer 	Okay, yeah. But, uh, Hugh, I'm telling you, the answer's gonna be no.
Hughie 	All right, in that in that case, can you just give me... Uh, hello? I think... They hung up. I don't think they're gonna go for it.
Butcher 	Oh, yes, they will.
 	The scene cuts to the main conference room. Starlight enters as the other six members of the Seven are already there. Homelander stands by the window while the rest are sitting at the table.
Homelander 	Starlight. Don't want to be late to your first official meeting. I had a whole welcome speech planned.
Starlight 	Sorry, sir.
Homelander 	Please, Homelander's fine. (sitting down)
Deep 	Beginning to wonder if you'd even show up. I mean, all that pressure, it's a lot for anyone to swallow.
Starlight 	(sitting down) Yeah. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere.
Translucent 	Can we get back to this, please? This is a serious crime. These assholes pirated my movie three weeks before release, and you can't walk down Fifth Avenue without bumping into a table of unlicensed Homelander shirts. Copyright infringement is costing Vought One point two billion dollars per year. That's money out of our pockets. We've all got, what, four points each?
A-Train 	What the fuck? You got four points?
Maeve 	And clearly better lawyers.
Homelander 	Hey, hey, hey, guys, come on. Stop. What's Starlight gonna think? Listening to us haggling over nickels. We're the Seven, for God's sake, whether we're out there or we're in here. Now, what I do want to hear is who you saved this week. Huh? Who's up for that? Black Noir.
 	Noir looks up from his iPad.
Homelander 	Let's start with you, man.
 	The scene cuts to outside the building, where Butcher pulls up outside with Hughie. Hughie spots some dog toys on the back seat.
Hughie 	You got a dog?
Butcher 	No. All right, give us your phone. There's fuck-all security to worry about. In fact, they're a bunch of muppets. And the metal detector won't pick this up. Right? And what they'll probably do is take you through the security and then up into the boardroom. Sit down. Be nice, congenial. Then, real polite-like, tell 'em you're gonna take a fake shit. Go into the bog, take the bug out. Peel back the plastic bit to reveal the sticky side. Put the plastic bit in the bog. Flush it. Then go back into the boardroom, sit down big smiles plant the bug underneath the table. Easy peasy Japanesey. Bob's your uncle. That's that.
Hughie 	That's that? That was that was a lot. Th- I've- Hold on, can you just can you repeat it again? Just a little bit slower? Because I-
Butcher 	Shh. Listen.
Hughie 	Fuck.
Butcher 	Hughie, calm down, all right? This is like that scene in The Matrix. Now, you could take the fucking red pill, right? Spend the rest of your life jacking off, crying into your chai tea green latte, what the fuck. Or you could take the blue pill. Or is it the red pill? Anyway, take the other pill and quit being a cunt.
Hughie 	Which pill do you want me to take?
Butcher 	Just quit being a cunt. That's what I'm saying.
Hughie 	Fuck me. Okay.
 	Hughie gets out of the car. “Take Me Down” by Daniel Pembleton plays. Hughie pauses to take in the sight of the full building. Inside, he walks past armed guards. He sets off the metal detector.
Guard 	Sir, could you empty your pockets, please?
 	Hughie walks back through and puts his keys and phone on a tray. He walks back through and one guard scans him down while another inspects his phone. After a few moments the guard slides the tray over.
Guard 	Thank you.
 	Hughie grabs his things. In the main conference room, he looks up and sees a mural of the previous Seven lineup. He turns toward a guard in the room.
Hughie 	Um excuse me, can-can I, uh... can I use your bathroom?
 	The Vought lawyer walks in, tailed by A-Train and Ashley. They all approach the table. Hughie stands up.
Lawyer 	Just to be clear, A-Train's apology isn't an admission of any sort of culpability whatsoever. Do you understand?
 	Hughie hallucinates that A-Train is covered in Robin's blood. He stares wide-eyed and begins panting.
A-Train 	I'm sorry about what happened to your girlfriend, all right?
 	In the background, Hughie imagines A-Train's laughter from the security tape.
A-Train 	Hey, dude, are you okay?
 	Everyone stares as Hughie's panting gets worse. After a few moments and some deep breaths, he returns to normal and shakes A-Train's hand.
Hughie 	Fine. I appreciate the apology. Accidents happen, right? After all, I mean, you were saving the world.
Ashley 	Okay, great. Thank you so much. As you know, a crimefighter's work is never done. Douglas here will handle the rest of the paperwork for you, okay? Thank you.
 	Ashley and A-Train leave. The lawyer hands Hughie a pen.
Hughie 	Can I use your bathroom?
 	In the bathroom, Hughie drops the bug on the floor. Before he can pick it up, Starlight walks in. After standing in front of the mirror and applying make-up, she leaves. Hughie then picks the bug back up and prepares it. He leaves as well. After he leaves, Translucent makes himself visible.
Translucent 	What the fuck?
 	Hughie re-enters the conference room and signs the NDA, placing the bug under the table. The scene then cuts to Butcher driving Hughie to his workplace.
Hughie 	And I look him right in the eye, and I smile. And that was awesome, man, just getting to stare that asshole down. I get why you dig this job.
Butcher 	Yeah, you know, it has its moments, doesn't it?
Hughie 	You were right. Fuck A-Train. Fuck A-Train. Fuck-fuck the Seven. Fuck all Seven. What are we, uh, what are we doing here?
Butcher 	Well, you got to go to work, don't you?
Hughie 	Yeah, but, um, I don't, uh...
Butcher 	Well, I mean, that's all I need you for right now, yeah?
Hughie 	Yeah, I mean, but I, I can, I can help with other stuff, you know? I could, I could be, like, your tech guy. You know? Like, I could be in the van with the thing and, like, you know, "He's down the hall to the left." Like, I can-
Butcher 	Yeah, look, son, I, uh, I think it's best that I take it from here. You know what I mean?
Hughie 	Yeah, but I, I can I can really help.
Butcher 	I know you can help. I got it.
 	Hughie gets out of the car and walks away. Butchers starts the car again. Hughie turns around.
Hughie 	Oh, hey, wait. You ever see an asshole tear up forty-five K?
 	Hughie tears up the check.
Butcher 	Hughie, you're a good lad.
 	Butcher drives away. The scene cuts to Steve talking to Stillwell on the phone.
Steve 	Mr. Stillwell, I wasn't sure you'd call.
Stillwell 	This fucking chafes, but, um, I'm willing to come down to two hundred and thirty million for Nubian Prince.
Steve 	That's very reasonable, Maddie. Thank you.
Stillwell 	And, Steve, this, um, Compound V… Any rumors you may have heard about my heroes? Libelous and completely untrue. But, we all know how rumors spread, so I'd appreciate your discretion.
Steve 	Of course. You have my word.
Stillwell 	Thank you. Have a safe flight home.
 	The scene cuts to inside Hughie's workplace, where he is watching the news while at the front counter.
Anchor 	Policing cities is a thorny enough issue as it is, but allowing superheroes into national defense? We'd basically be privatizing war.
 	Gary walks over.
Gary 	Good night, Hughie. You'll lock up?
Hughie 	Yeah. Thanks, Gary.
 	Gary leaves. Before the door fully closes, Translucent enters, invisible.
Hughie 	Sorry, we're closing the store.
 	He looks up and sees no one has entered.
Hughie 	Hello?
Translucent 	Who are you?
Hughie 	(bolting up) The fuck?
Translucent 	Right in front of you, prick. You think I wouldn't find this thing?
 	Translucent, still invisible, holds the bug up in front of Hughie. He puts it down and grabs Hughie's lanyard.
Translucent 	Hughie.
 	Translucent begins throwing Hughie around the store.
Translucent 	You pussy, I followed you from the fucking Tower.
Hughie 	No, no, no!
Translucent 	Who's that guy you were with, in the car? Who was he?
Hughie 	I don't-
Translucent 	He put you up to this?
Hughie 	I don't know! He was just some Uber driver, okay?
Translucent 	Don't give me some bullshit! Uber driver! Do you think I'm a fucking idiot? Why'd you plant the bug?
 	Translucent picks a TV off the wall and begins walking over to Hughie with it.
Hughie 	Please. Please, please, please. No, please.
Translucent 	We're the Seven, Earth's most mighty, champions of the innocent, motherfucker!
 	Right before Translucent hits Hughie with the TV, Billy drives into the store and knocks Translucent across the store. He then gets ou the car.
Butcher 	Sorry about the mess. You should fuck off, Hughie.
 	Butcher walks towards Translucent.
Butcher 	Hughie, run!
 	”London Calling” by The Clash begins playing. Hughie runs into the back. Billy approaches where Translucent landed with a crowbar.
Butcher 	Well, well, well, if it ain't the invisible cunt.
 	Billy swings with the crowbar, but Translucent is no longer there. They begin fighting. In the back, Hughie begins to leave, but turns around and returns to watch the fight. Translucent gains the upper hand, but Billy spits blood on Translucent, giving away where he is.
Butcher 	There you are.
 	Now somewhat visible, the fight becomes more fair, but Translucent still manages to get Butcher on the ground.
Translucent 	So who are you? Fucking spy? For who? Huh? You're gonna fucking tell me, or I'm gonna smash your fucking scalp off! Who the fuck are you?
 	Translucent picks up the crowbar and holds it over Butcher. Hughie sneaks up behind him and grabs a live wire from the wall.
Butcher 	I'll tell you who you are. A fucking moron. "Translucent" doesn't even mean "invisible". It means "semi-transparent".
 	Hughie attempts to get Translucent with the wire, but he's not close enough. Billy looks disappointed. Translucent begins to turn. Now distracted, Billy is able to kick him towards Hughie, allowing Hughie to electrocute him. Hughie screams and after a few moments Translucent falls to the floor. Billy gets up. Hughie tosses the wire.
Hughie 	Is he- is he dead? Is he...
 	Butcher kicks Translucent.
Butcher 	Well, he ain't moving.
Hughie 	Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
Butcher 	How'd you know the electric could do the job?
Hughie 	Skin's carbon. Highly conductive. Saw it on, uh, Jimmy Fallon.
Butcher 	Would've taken me forever to work that one out. Good job. Let's get him in the boot.
Hughie 	Wait, wait, what? Wait, what? What?
Butcher 	The trunk.
Hughie 	No, no, I mean, what are we, what are we, what are we doing with him?
Butcher 	Well, Hughie, you just offed one of the Seven, mate.
Hughie 	Me? I... You, you hit him with a fucking car!
 	Butcher drops Translucent.
Butcher 	Look, potato, fucking po-tah-to. We're both in a shitload of trouble.
Hughie 	No, no, no, we're not! It's, it, he, he attacked us, okay? And you're, you're a federal officer, you know? Just, just call the fucking FBI.
Butcher 	Yeah, o-okay, so, look, technically, I'm not a Fed.
Hughie 	What?! Then who the fuck are you?!
 	"The Passenger" by Iggy Pop plays. Mayor Steve's son sits at a table with the autographed photo of Homelander in front of him. The plane rattles. The shot changes to show Steve is sitting next to his son.
Steve 	Don't worry about it, kiddo. It's just a little turbulence. It'll be okay.
 	An aide whispers something to Steve. Steve's son sees Homelander out the plane window.
Steve's son 	Dad. Dad. Dad!
Steve 	What's he doing out here?
Steve's son 	Are you guys friends?
 	Homelander's eyes glow red.
Steve 	Oh, my God.
 	Homelander uses his heat vision to cut the plane in two. It crashes down through the clouds. Homelander watches. After a few moments, he smiles. The credits roll.
Category:Transcript
Category:Transcripts