God Dammit

Concept and main story by: Sassmaster15
Consultants: Arctic Frost and queakysnick
==Introduction==
Once upon a time, not so long ago, sat a mountain in the central United States. On this mountain lived thirteen beings, the children of legends. On the outside they resemble ordinary mortals, adolescents even, but hold unfathomable power. This power combined has the strength to collapse the universe into nothingness. They were feared, revered, and worshipped by mortals worldwide. Allow us to introduce you to them now:
Antoine: Modern name Anthony. King of the gods; God of weather, storms, the supernatural, the occult, music, the Earth, and space. Son of Amarga and Davide. Husband of Niboul, father of Kyagana, Robinelle, Jilette, and Hormanas. Brother of Loselle, Seraphina, Elizabeta, Emariah, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Maurgand. Rules Mt. Pias with an iron fist, and is known to be the most fickle of all the gods. Quick to anger, uninterested in mortal affairs, despises diplomacy, loves to terrify and intimidate others, very crude and sarcastic, extremely biased. Tortures souls in both life and death, and despite not having control of the afterlife, repeatedly visits Hell to punish innocent souls long after death and make wagers with his sister, Emeriah, ruler of the afterlife. Rarely visits Earth; when he does, appears to certain individuals from a cloud of mist as a maniacal and fearsome demonic. Does not love much except for his wife, pets, and mother. May even fear his wife.
Niboul: Modern name Nicole. Queen of the gods; goddess of love, beauty, marriage and innocence. Daughter of Milus and Rose. Wife of Antoine. Mother of Kyagana, Robinelle, Jilette, and Hormanas. Formerly a mortal who encapsulated Antoine with her beauty; was added as a twelfth deity to Mt. Pias. Often seen as a beacon of hope in the modern mortal world to calm Antoine's brutal rages; may have led to his decreased interaction with mortals. Most caring of any of the gods, however, still fickle and somewhat vain. Often engages other goddesses in beauty contests and tricks mortals into picking her; antagonizing others in the process. Only one not intimidated by her husband.
Seraphina: Modern name Sarah. Goddess of light, crime, the sun, business, and inventions. Daughter of Amarga and Davide. Sister of Antoine, Loselle, Elizabeta, Emariah, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Maurgand. Fomer wife of Loselle. Mother of Nyakay, Shampert, and Elés. Highly energetic, vain, and condescending. Completely invested in others for the sole reason of expecting something in return. Acts caring towards others but in reality completely selfish and fake. Upbeat, loves to laugh, enjoys the misery of others. Loves to stick her nose in others' business. Complete power over the sun; often extinguishes it as punishment for those who go against her. Loves to argue; extremely fickle and picky. Once killed a mortal for offering her an oatmeal raisin cookie. 
Loselle: Modern name Logan. God of animals, life, agriculture, competition, parties, and wine. Son of Amarga and Davide. Brother of Antoine, Seraphina, Elizabeta, Emariah, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Maurgand. Fomer husband of Seraphina. Father of Nyakay, Shampert, and Elés. Very egotistic and self-centered; loves to focus on his accomplishments and staring at himself in the mirror. Somewhat more open, social, and friendly than his wife and sister. Not quick to anger, often seen as weak and pushover-ish by the other gods. Loves parties and is known for crashing those hosted by mortals. Creator of wine and other alcoholic drinks. Requires mortals to give thanks to him before they drink. Despises Emeriah.
Emeriah: Modern name Emily. Goddess of death, the afterlife, final judgement, fate, and ruler of the underworld. Eldest child and daughter of Amarga and Davide. Sister of Antoine, Loselle, Seraphina, Elizabeta, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Margaund. Often reviled as a hideous creature by both mortals and the gods alike; banished to the underworld forever with no means of escape. Oversees Fate; judges souls upon death, rules the afterlife with an iron fist - despises constant interference by her brother, Antoine. A miserable creature, constantly takes her anger out on the living and dead; developed telepathic communication to manipulate mortals from the underworld. Single; no children or spouse to her name. Despises Loselle. 
Elizabeta: Modern name Libby. Goddess of joy, family, children, the home and wisdom. Daughter of Amarga and Davide. Wife of Benollopy. Mother of Kelsayus, Brandover, and Ann. Sister of Antoine, Seraphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Margaund. Often seen and revered as the most genuine, loving, and caring of the gods. Cautiously involved in mortal affairs; truly likes helping others and does not seek personal gain from it. Fairly stern; not a pushover, will stand up for herself if need be. Often seen as the most "human" and "personable" of the gods. Has the largest following of priests and priestesses out of any other god.
Bernadine: Modern name Bri. Goddess of women, medicine, individuality, fire, sleep, and the moon. Youngest daughter of Amarga and Davide. Sister of Antoine, Seraphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Elizabeta, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Margaund. Somewhat shyer and more mysterious than her brothers and sisters; not much is known about her. Very modern in terms of style and trends; somewhat eclectic, rarely interacts with mortals. Likes being neutral, not interested by much. Loves music and is known to jump onstage and sing alongside her favorite mortal performers. 
Carstantine: Modern name Cassie. Goddess of the elements, plants, joy, unity, and sensibility. Daughter of Amarga and Davide. Sister of Antoine, Seraphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Elizabeta, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katamia, and Margaund. Generally favored as one of the better gods of the Lovotian religion, her followers state Carstantine is a patient, calm, understanding, and nurturing goddess. She is generally portrayed as someone who can bring her siblings together, uniting them in times of adversity. She enjoys classical music, and often attends mortal shows in disguise to avoid disruption. She is married to a male demigod but has no children. 
Saphya: Modern name Stefanie. Goddess of technology, dating, work, good fortune, and wealth. Daughter of Amarga and Davide. Sister of Antoine, Serphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Elizabeta, Bernadine, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Margaund. Saphya is often considered a mix of helpful, outspoken, upbeat, crazy, selfish, and idiotic by both her godly counterparts and mortals alike. Being the goddess of dating may have been a mistake as she has at least four boyfriends at any given time and upwards of fifty demigod-like children since coming into existence many years ago. Lack of experience has led to her so-called "dumbness" and hectic lifestyle. She interacts with mortal males for the sole purpose of flirting with them, and goes out with them to get them to pick her when she's in competition with the other goddesses. 
Jores: Modern name Jared. God of history, war, strategy, intelligence, tradition and hunting. Son of Amarga and Davide. Husband of Mygas. Father of Florges, Mandive, Lunala, and Karanine. Brother of Antoine, Seraphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Bernadine, Elizabeta, Saphya, Mygas, Katami, and Margaund. Jores is considered the most arrogant and one of the most intelligent of the gods, alongside his sister, Katami. He is very knowledgeable in mortal affairs and takes a cautious approach to ensure history doesn't repeat itself. When conflicts arise between the gods he either takes part or backs out completely. Very outspoken; sometimes appears cold and uncaring to certain mortals. Has one of the longest-lasting and happiest marriages among any of the gods. 
Mygas: Modern name Meggan. Goddess of fashion, the arts, truth and free will. Daughter of Amarga and Davide. Wife of Jores. Mother of Florges, Mandive, Lunala, and Karanine. Sister of Antoine, Seraphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Elizabeta, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Katami, and Margaund. Meggan is considered to be much like her sister, Elizabeta. Her following considers her to be very sincere, giving, and warm-hearted. She loves self-expression and has shaped much of the mortal culture over time. She wants mortals to be intelligent and well-versed in all they do and lets them have the free will they need to live fruitful, accomplished lives. She is happily married to her husband and her marriage is considered one of the most sincere, argument-free of any of the gods.
Katami: Modern name Karli. Goddess of education, culture, ideals, and travel. Daughter of Amarga and Davide. Wife of Victero. Mother of Selene and Uboro. Sister of Antoine, Loselle, Seraphina, Elizabeta, Emeriah, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas and Margaund. Katami is considered somewhat ignorant, oblivious, and self-indulgent by her brothers and sisters. However, she is seen as highly intelligent, friendly, social, and well-respected by mortals. She lives to have fun, but also mandates schooling for all mortals under the age 20. Much like Mygas, she has shaped many aspects of the mortal culture and is known to eradicate what she dislikes. She is an idealist and loves to live in the moment; and is the least worrisome of any of the gods. Married a mortal man; however, he was not added as a god like Niboul.
Margaund: Modern name Maurice. God of theatre, acting, drama, entertainment, and homosexuality. Son of Amarga and Davide. Husband of Nicolás. Brother of Antoine, Loselle, Seraphina, Emeriah, Elizabeta, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, and Katami. Margaund is the consul to all actors, television or theatre, and often gives them advice and support as they start their careers. He is the only LGBTQ+ member of the gods and is happily married to a male demigod. He is very wild, vain, and fun-loving - many mortals seek his guidance to take the ideal selfie. He is not quick to anger and many mortals say he does not have a mean bone is his body at all. He is the only married member of the gods to have no children.
===Minor Characters===
Aeriele - Nickname Ari. Goddess of the sky and the sea, close friend of Seraphina. Most powerful minor goddess; frequent guest of honor of the gods. Seen as the level-headed counterpart to Seraphina's craziness. Despises Timu.
Timu - Nickname Tim. God of peasants. Close friend of Seraphina. Known to be extremely lazy, once slept for an entire century. Despises Aeriele.
Hanaliah - Nickname Hannah. Messenger of the gods, close friend of Antoine, often makes Niboul jealous. Highly scatterbrained, misplaces messeges. Very humorous and light-hearted, doesn't take anything seriously.
Amarga - Mother of Antoine, Seraphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Elizabeta, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Margaund. Creator of the physical world and life. Retired to the Himalayas alongside her husband to let her children rule the universe. While she is entombed in stone for all eternity, she can be awakened by an ancient ritual when all the gods combine their powers into one. 
Davide - Father of Antoine, Seraphina, Loselle, Emeriah, Elizabeta, Bernadine, Saphya, Jores, Mygas, Katami, and Margaund. Creator of the heavens and known universe. Retired to the Himalayas alongside his wife to let his children rule the universe. While he is entombed in stone for all eternity, he can be awakened by an ancient ritual when all the gods combine their powers into one.
Shampert - Son of Seraphina and Loselle. God of misfortune. Shampert is often physically, emotionally, verbally, and mentally abused by his mother, who despises his very existence more than anything else in the universe. While he is fairly intelligent, that is not enough for his mother, who often compares him to his sister, Nyakay. Often tries to escape to Earth to live a normal life, however is always yanked back into the heavens by his mother. Punishments he has been subjected to include being beaten with the sun, and spending 1,000 years in Hell with his aunt, Emeriah. Even when not subjected to torment from his mother, he endures constant misfortune and life never goes well for him.
Nyakay - Eldest child and daughter of Seraphina and Loselle. Goddess of life and creation. She has a very active imagination, which was encouraged during her childhood. She created many species of animals and plants on Earth, and tries to help her brother through the constant pain and suffering that is his life.
===Rules===
*Each god and goddess lives in their own house unless married. 
*Each god and goddess has their own symbol representing what they oversee:
**Antoine: A crown of golden thorns surrounded by a red lightning bolt.
**Niboul: A jeweled crown protecting a pink heart.
**Seraphina: A hatchet encircled by a supernova.
**Loselle: Water buffalo standing in pond of wine.
**Emeriah: A dead, crooked, lifeless tree.
**Elizabeta: A mother kneeling in front of her child, reaching for a hug. 
**Bernadine: A crescent moon half-blocked by the shadow of a female archer.
**Carstantine: Calm seas encircling an island enshrouded by lively foliage.
**Saphya: A perfect diamond.
**Jores: A horse-drawn chariot.
**Mygas: A designer dress laced with silk and diamonds. 
**Katami: A book entitled "Knowledge".
**Margaund: Sock and buskin mask.
*Each god and goddess has their own "form" which they can switch between. Most of the time, gods will stay in their humanoid form which will comprise their primary appearance that is described in the story. However, in some circumstances, the gods will reveal their true power, which can only be done in their "true" form. Their true forms are monstrous and epic in size and appearance.
**Antoine: A powerful, hideous demonic entity with red skin laced with scars. Complete with pure white fangs, black eyes, and two twisted horns protruding from his head. In his true form, Antoine can possess any being, including mortals, animals, and even other gods and force them to do things that are not of their own will. He can even steal the life force of others forever. The only two souls he is not capable of possessing are those of his own parents.
**Niboul: Niboul retains her humanoid look in her true form with a few cosmetic changes. Her naturally straight, brown hair becomes pink and curly, and she spreads 25-foot wings that are tinged with hints of crimson and ruby. In a sense, she is somewhat like Cupid as she carries a crossbow capable of firing arrows that will help the person develop intense, sincere feelings for someone they desire. She is described to be 10x more beautiful in her true form, such that any living mortal being or animal will instantly fall in love with her.
**Seraphina: Twice the size of her humanoid form, complete with 40-foot wings, shining auburn hair, and a halo so bright it immediately perma-blinds those who even glance at it. Still appears human-like at first glance, but can actually set herself on fire in this form. Any opening of her body will have bright, white light exuding from it.
**Loselle: Transforms into a black rhinocerus-like creature with serious anger management issues. Loselle's true form has the power to take down even the most resilient, indestructible forms of construction.
**Emeriah: A serpent-like creature. Has glowing red eyes that can change the will of others for those who look into them. In her true form, Emeriah stands 310 feet tall and is 666 feet long from head to tail tip.
**Elizabeta: Elizabeta retains a humanoid look in her true form, however, it is drastically different from her normal appearance. Her hair grows longer and transitions from a sleek black to a shining silver. She grows an additional 120 feet in height and often appears to be shrouded in light, as a result of the sun catching her glimmering hair. She is fiercely intimidating, and being the goddess of children and family, has a supercharged glare that commands complete respect from any and all disobedient mortals, animals - even other gods and goddesses.  
**Bernadine: In her true form, Bernadine becomes a warrior woman dressed in a leather robe. She carries a crossbow in her right arm and wears a canister of arrows on her back. In this form, the arrows shot will be on fire. In addition to the physical transformation, Bernadine's voice changes and becomes a melodic, trance-inducing singsong that immediately grabs the attention of those who hear it.
**Carstantine: Carstantine's true form allows her to become one with nature. She retains a humanoid look but is completely enshrouded in foilage and flowers. When upset, her form changes to a spirit completely on fire. However, this is said to be a rumor as the goddess is rarely upset. She can bend elements of nature, including the sea, atmosphere, plants, and animals to her will, and can disguise herself among the various earthen and extraterrestial landscapes. 
**Saphya: Her skin will become as hard as diamonds and is able to reflect light. Her body cannot be injured and will deflect all forms of attack. She can bend the earthen elements and minerals to her will.
**Jores: Becomes a sentaur outfitted in ancient Greek warrior armor. The equine half of his body is equipped to run at speeds exceeding 500 miles per hour, has razor sharp red fur, and sharpened hooves that can cut through bone.
**Mygas: In her true form, Mygas doesn't change much. She wears a bright, floral sundress and has literal flowers clipped to her hair. She has a benevolent energy about her that can calm others when angry and supresses their urge to fight. She can also change the clothes her opponent is wearing just by thinking it.
**Katami: Katami's true form makes her appear much more intimidating and fearsome than she is as a goddess. She becomes a giant outfitted in a brown leather robe and hair tied back into a bun that becomes hard enough to serve as a helmet. In addition, she has a tree-shaped wand with the power to create and destroy elements of culture, as well as empower someone with knowledge or take away their ability to learn and explain information.
**Margaund: In his true form, Margaund becomes the literal Phantom of the Opera. His body is composed entirely of shadow and resembles a Grim Reaper-type figure, wearing a skeletal mask and black, hooded robe. Many are unassuming of his true form considering his giving, jovial nature as a god.
*As demonstrated above, gods and goddesses are more human than we think and extremely fickle. They aren't impressed by much, are very self-indulgent and don't do much unless it benefits them, but love competing with each other and interfering with the mortal lives, much more than any other ancient culture. This story is set in modern times, but makes allusions and references to the past since these gods have existed since the creation of the known world.
**An example of this is Timu's extensively long nap that lasted a century, in the midst of his sleep he missed the creation of the wheel.
*Many elements of mortal culture, including fashion trends, technology, societal norms, governments, and music/television/entertainment, will remain the same. Maybe realigned as appropriate to fit the bias of the gods.
*Other religions, such as Hinduism, Christianity, and Islam, will exist in this world, but they are rendered obsolete and incorrect. The name for the religion worshipping the dieties on Mt. Pias is Lovotianity.
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Category:Hypothetical Stories
Category:Supernatural Stories
Category:Comedies
Category:Satire