Les Poissons

"Les Poissons" is a song from the film The Little Mermaid. It is sung by Chef Louis (René Auberjonois). It is a short comic relief song and ends with a classic chase scene between Louis and Sebastian, set to Jacques Offenbach's "Can-Can". It takes place inside Louis's kitchen as he cooks seafood, much to Sebastian's horror before he gets pursued by the chef who attempts to cook him, only to destroy the kitchen in the process and Carlotta to angrily demand him what's he been doing.
==Lyrics==
<tabber>Film version=
Nouvelle cuisine
Les Champs-Élysées, Maurice Chevalier
Les poissons, les poissons
How I love les poissons!
Love to chop
And to serve little fish.
(*Chop, chop, chop!*)
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones.
Ah mais oui, ça c'est toujours délice.
(Sebastian comes close to vomiting.)
Les poissons, les poissons
Hee-hee-hee, hon-hon-hon
With a cleaver I hack them in two.
(Sebastian examines a dead fish's head and gasps)
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried.
God, I love little fishes, don't you?
(Louis adds cooked fish to a platter)
Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique.
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet.
(Louis pounds the table hard)
Then you slash through the skin.
Give the belly a slice.
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause that makes it taste nice.
(Louis removes a leaf from the counter and finds Sebastian hiding underneath)
(Spoken) Zut alors! I have missed one!
(Louis picks up Sebastian)
Sacrebleu! What is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab?
Quel dommage, what a loss!
Here we go in the sauce.
Now some flour-I think just a dab.
(Sebastian sneezes)
Now I stuff you with bread.
It don't hurt, 'cause you're dead
And you're certainly lucky you are.
(Sebastian spits out the stuffed crab filling)
'Cause it's gonna be hot
In my big silver pot
Tootle-loo, mon poisson, au revoir!
English translation:
New kitchen
The Champs-Élysées, Maurice Chevalier
The fish, the fish
How I love the fish!
Love to chop
And to serve little fish.
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones.
Ah but yes, that's always delicious.
The fish, the fish
Hee-hee-hee, hon-hon-hon
With a cleaver I hack them in two.
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried.
God, I love little fishes, don't you?
Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique.
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet.
Then you slash through the skin.
Give the belly a slice.
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause that makes it taste nice.
(Spoken) Damn then! I have missed one!
Damn it! What is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab?
What a pity, what a loss!
Here we go in the sauce.
Now some flour-I think just a dab.
Now I stuff you with bread.
It don't hurt, 'cause you're dead
And you're certainly lucky you are.
'Cause it's gonna be hot
In my big silver pot
Tootle-loo, my fish, goodbye!
|-|Demo version=
Ah, ze crab!
I'll give you a demonstration,
of my special preparation!
First you nap ze crab!
Zen you grab ze crab!
Zen you STAB ze crab!
|-|Comic version=
Petit Fish (3x)
Set zem out on a dish,
Rip zair skin with a knife,
chop zair huh?
At this point Chef Louis finds Sebastian and starts singing a new song.
C'est si bon!
Zis is nice!
In ze sauce wiz ze spice!
|-|Reprise version=
Louis:
And now something truly exquisite
The creme of the creme de la creme!
Ho, ho, ho you may ask, but what is it?
It's a teensy surprise
A delectable treat
One I'm sure you'll just love.
Allez, bon appetit!
Chefs:
Les Poissons, Les Poissons!
Ooh la, la!
Here they are!
Say bonjour to our friends from the sea!
Chef 1: Fish fillet!
Chef 2: Fish pate!
Chef 3: Fish flambe!
Chef 4: Fish tartare!
Louis: It's a fish-how you say?-jamboree!
Chef 5: Curried bass!
Chef 6: Kippered smelt!
Chef 7: Fish-ka-bobs!
Chef 8: Tuna melt!
Louis: If it's grilled, its been grilled to a "t"!
Chefs:
Fish lightly toasted and roasted and steamed!
Tossed in the blender and tenderly creamed
Dish after dish like you'd wish to have dreamed!
Louis:
And now for the grand finale
La piece de resistance
A delicacy, by golly
You won't find in the restaurants!
A tidbit to tease your taste buds
With that certain je ne sais quois
Voila!
|-|The Little Mermaid Live! Version=
Louis: 
Pour moi?
Noh! Oui!
Les poissons, les poissons
How I love les poissons!
Love to chop
And to serve little fish.
(*Chop, chop, chop!*)
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones.
Ah mais oui, ça c'est toujours délice.
Les poissons, les poissons
Hee-hee-hee, hon-hon-hon
With a cleaver I hack them in two.
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried.
God, I love little fishes, don't you?
Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique.
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet.
Then you slash through the skin.
Give the belly a slice.
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause that makes it taste nice.
(Spoken) Zut alors! I have missed one!
Sacrebleu! What is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab?
Quel dommage, what a loss!
Here we go in the sauce.
Now some flour-I think just a dab.
Now I stuff you with bread.
It don't hurt, 'cause you're dead
And you're certainly lucky you are.
'Cause it's gonna be hot
In my big silver pot
Tootle-loo, mon poisson, au revoir!
Aha!
Whoa! They are multiplying like rabbits!
(Offenbachi's Galop Infernal plays)
Stop!
Ho ho ho! This way!
Ha ha! 
(Cries out)
En garde!
(Offenbachi's Galop Infernal continues)
(Sharp Cries)
(Yells)
(Combative Shouts)
En garde!
(Offenbachi's Galop Infernal continues)
(Combative Cries)
And now something truly exquisite
The creme of the creme de la creme!
Ho, ho, ho, you may ask, but what is it?
Crabs, you don't have me beat!
We'll cook them up nice!
Ha, ha, ha, bon appetit!
You shellfish are so selfish. I'm gonna get you my little crustacean. And now prepare to fry!
Chefs:
Les poissons, les poissons
Ooh, la, la!
Here they are!
Louis:
Au revoir to our friends from the sea!
Fish filet!
Chefs:
Fish pate!
Louis:
Fish flambe!
Chefs:
Fish tartare!
Louis:
It's a fish-how you say?-jamboree!
Chefs:
Curried bass
Kippered smelt!
Fish-ka-bobs!
Tuna melt!
Louis:
Little crabs you'll be grilled to a "t"!
Chefs:
Fish lightly toasted and roasted and steamed!
Louis:
Tossed in the blender and tenderly creamed
Chefs:
Dish after dish
Like wish you'd have dreamed!
Louis:
Les poissons! Aaahhh Aaaaahhhhh 
Pffftttt! 
Ha ha!
Aha.
I knew I could have played Prince Albert! 
Or Eric.
Ha ha ha!
Thank you.
Whoo-hoo!
We'll be right back. (Rasberrys)
</tabber>
==Gallery==
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Littlemermaid-disneyscreencaps com-5933.jpg
Littlemermaid-disneyscreencaps com-5939.jpg|"Zut alors! I have missed one!"
Littlemermaid-disneyscreencaps com-5945.jpg
Littlemermaid-disneyscreencaps com-5957.jpg|"How on earth could I miss such a sweet, little succulent crab?"
little-mermaid-1080p-disneyscreencaps.com-6314.jpg|"Quell dommage! What a loss!"
little-mermaid-1080p-disneyscreencaps.com-6317.jpg|"Here we go, in the sauce!"
Now i stuff you with bread.jpg|"Now I stuff you with bread..."
Littlemermaid-disneyscreencaps com-5975.jpg|"Don't hurt 'cause you're dead!"
Sebastian getting stuffed with bread.jpg|"And you're certainily lucky you are!"
Little-Mermaid-Screencap-the-little-mermaid-1873780-720-480.jpg
Littlemermaid-disneyscreencaps com-5982.jpg|"'Cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot!"
Littlemermaid-disneyscreencaps com-5988.jpg|"Tootle-loo, mon poisson! Auvroir!"
==Videos==
Les Poissons - The Little Mermaid Live!
==Trivia==
*"Les poissons" means "the fish(es)" in French and is plural for "le poisson".
*The song in the film is immediately followed by Jacques Offenbach's "Can-Can", a classical music piece traditionally associated with Louie's home country of France.
*The song has the same melody as "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast.
**As a result, it is referenced on the menu of the "Be Our Guest" scene of the 2017 version of Beauty and the Beast.
*The reprise version was created for the Broadway musical version.
*The phrase "mais oui, ça c'est toujours délice", while semi-obvious in meaning, translates to "but yes, that's always delicious" in English.
*The song mentions Maurice Chevalier, who sang the theme song of The Aristocats.
*"Shiny" from Moana is basically "Les Poissons" in reverse, with Tamatoa trying to eat Moana and Maui. Lin-Manuel Miranda even jokingly calls the song "Sebastian's Revenge".
== External links ==
* 
fr:Les Poissons
nl:Les Poissons
pt-br:Les Poissons
Category:Songs
Category:The Little Mermaid songs
Category:Songs with alternate lyrics
Category:Villain songs