Integration Therapy/Transcript

This is the transcript for Integration Therapy, which aired on February 18, 2021.
==Transcript==
1 Hi there.
Are you waiting for someone? Ah, nope.
It's just me.
Although, in a way, I'm not really alone.
One might say I'm on a date with Ms.
Toni Morrison.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Okay.
Uh, would you like something to drink? Uh, Ms.
Morrison? [CHUCKLES.]
Uh, I'll have a sparkling water.
Julia? Oh.
Hey! Look who's here, too.
Uh, yes.
I, uh, I missed this place.
I had a craving for their porterhouse and fries, but I'll end up having the tilapia and broccoli because I also have a craving to not die.
Funny.
Well, good seeing you.
Someone's in a rush.
Are you on a date? - [SIGHS.]
- It's fine.
Coincidentally, I am also on a a night out on my own.
No, I'm not on a date.
I'm-I'm having dinner with Jim and Maureen for Jim's birthday.
Jim's birthday.
And he's having a party.
Huh.
Well, I can see I'm good enough to pick up his mail while he's in Cabo for a week but not good enough for an invite.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wow, Jim! Drew, listen, it's not gonna be a big thing.
They rented out the back room, but I doubt they're gonna fill it.
It's fine.
They were really more your friends.
Although the Hudsons weren't.
I'm sorry, Drew.
Look, I didn't know if they were gonna invite you, and I just think that sometimes, after a divorce, people don't want to make things awkward.
Yes, thank goodness neither one of us feels awkward right now.
Well, go on.
Have a good time.
Don't worry about me.
Parties are fun, but a book is a world of imagination.
Mm, yes.
That's exactly what you said to me on my "surprise" 30th when you gave me a copy of The Color Purple.
It's a good read, Julia.
Okay.
Well, I'll see you later, Drew.
Ready to order, or do you need some more time? Yeah.
I, uh I'll have the tilapia and broccoli.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
And bring it to me at the bus bench across the street.
- The more you live - The more you live - Your happiness is relative - Happiness But if you're feeling like crap It's time to face the fact It's your prerogative Your prerogative To be positive - Hey.
- Oh, good, you're here.
Can you hand me that feeler gauge? - Uh - It's that one.
Okay, sure.
You know, I, uh, used to help my dad out with some of his projects.
Aw, I'm like your dad.
Only if you scream at me and I run into the house upset.
Then you call out to my mom, "Here we go, Nancy Drew's crying again.
" I thought you were going out to dinner.
Yeah, I was.
And then I bumped into Julia.
She was out with some of our old friends - having a birthday party.
- Ooh.
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
I could've done without the valet bringing my car just as the party bus rolled up.
[CHUCKLES.]
Party buses are lame.
They're crowded, the booze is cheap, and you think the windows are tinted, but then you really just showed your boobs to all of Brooklyn.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Yeah, wouldn't know.
Uh, it's fine.
I mean, Julia was the one who maintained all the friendships.
She went to all the barbecues, hosted all the dinner parties, pretended everyone's baby was cute.
It makes sense that they choose her.
Well, maybe this is a good thing.
Maybe this is the universe telling you that it's time to go out there and make some new friends.
Yeah, no, I've never really been good at making friends.
Or as my dad would say, "That's because you don't play sports, Nancy.
" Now that you're all hooked up, I just want to get this out of the way.
Damon and I are - no more.
- Aw.
I didn't know you were dating anyone.
It was just a coffee, but we did sleep together, so I had high hopes.
In related news, Gideon depression-baked last night, so [VOICE BREAKING.]
: Enjoy the snickerdoodles.
I wonder what the origin of that cookie name is.
Very Dr.
Seuss, isn't it? "Gideon delighted the Whoville caboodle by gifting each Sneetch there a fresh snickerdoodle.
" [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, the places I wish you would go.
- Hey, guys.
- BOTH: Hey, Gina.
Oh, hey, jacket.
Snickerdoodle? And, yes, the broken heart shape is intentional.
Gina.
To what do we owe the pleasure? GINA: My bike broke down in the retirement home parking lot, so I Ubered over here to get a ride home.
- Why not just Uber home? - GINA: 'Cause then I couldn't tell everyone that Drew and I are having a party! It is Saturday night, and you are all invited.
- Wait, what? - Drew has been telling me how much he would love to see you all when you are not here getting rid of your poison blood.
Well, Gina, I'm sure everyone here has plans Saturday night.
I'm in.
GIDEON: Me, too.
I have no one else to see on Saturday night.
Thank you, Damon.
See? Everybody loves a party.
Not everyone.
I'll see if I can swing by.
Seahawks have a fan event in New York on Saturday.
People love photo ops with the ring.
Okay, could you have one conversation without mentioning the ring? You're like Gollum.
And I hate that I've sat by you long enough to know who that is.
You're gonna come, right? Well, I've been looking for a reason to get out of my sister's baby shower, so, yeah, I will be there.
Unless I find a reason to get out of this.
I will not find a reason.
As a matter of fact, I'll be early.
GINA: Great! We are gonna have so much fun on Saturday.
Well, actually, um, I have a date on Saturday.
With who? And do not say Toni Morrison.
I will see you all Saturday.
How could you do that? Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
Jerry has RSVP'd six times.
- Seven.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
I barely know them, Gina.
The most we have in common is renal failure.
You know what I call that? A start.
This is how you turn your renal failure into renal success.
If I didn't need your kidney, I would push you out of the car.
It's just one night.
Do you really want to sit at restaurants alone forever? 7:00 to 9:00.
Two drinks maximum.
No music.
Oh, wow.
I'll have to take a nap during the day.
[SIGHS.]
And if you even mention the word "charahds," I'm gone.
I hope you play it better than you say it.
Just look at this as a way to get to know them better.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
Oh, Jerry wants to know if your place is a shoes on or shoes off house.
Shoes off.
Shoes off.
Tell him shoes off.
Uh, did you hear on the news about that, uh, panda being born? No, wh-what happened? The-the panda got born.
- 12 pounds.
- Is that a lot? I don't know.
But I wouldn't want it coming out of me.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
And, um Uh, what's going on with you? My sister sent me pictures from her party, and I obviously chose the wrong one.
DREW: Oh, well, I wouldn't be so sure.
Later on, we might play a little game called "charahds.
" Okay.
Uh, three words.
Rhymes with "kill me now.
" Yeah, I'll refill the hummus.
Oh, while you're in there, could you grab me another vodka and a "lemonahd"? Charades.
I did not know - what the hell he was talking about.
- Yeah.
Hey.
How's it going? I should've pushed you out of the car.
You know, at Hartford Dialysis, they actually have chairs that recline.
I think that's an urban legend.
Gideon, why can't we get chairs like that? Eli, I am off the clock.
Can you not see Gideon is turtlenecked? This party is just like dialysis, except it's not covered by my insurance.
This is the only way they know how to relate to each other.
We just have to pull them out of their shells.
I think I can save your party.
Do you by chance have some ecstasy? Okay, plan B.
I've never had homemade beer.
This is really good.
Oh, the FDA won't legally let me call it beer, but thank you.
This is a really nice place, Drew.
Thanks.
Yeah, I love this house.
Just checked it out on Zillow.
It's not worth anything near what you paid for it.
Good to know.
- [SQUEALS.]
Okay, okay.
Uh - Come on, come on! "Watermelon Sugar.
" - Harry Styles.
- Yes! Uh, um, "Single Ladies.
" - BeyoncÃ©.
- Yes! - Time.
- GIDEON: Yes! - [SQUEALS.]
- Six for six.
I love me a sassy white girl! [GRUNTS.]
Samantha, we're up.
Okay, now, don't blow this like you did with charades.
The next time you get Edward Scissorhands, don't spend the first five minutes trying to make me guess Edward.
Go.
Current James Bond.
Daniel Craig.
Super Bowl ring.
Eli Russell? Who stuck that in there? You did.
I saw you write it.
Snitches get stitches, Jerry.
Right from the start, I gave you my heart Oh I gave you my heart Okay, Drew.
Bring it home.
- I don't bring it home.
- Oh, come on, do it.
- Go on.
Yeah.
- Yeah, do it! Don't go breaking my heart I won't go breaking your heart Don't go breaking my heart Stop singing.
- You're breaking my heart.
- Oh.
Whoo-hoo Whoo-ooh Nobody knows it Nobody knows When I was down I was your clown Whoa, oh I gave you my heart - Oh.
- Yeah! [WHOOPING, SHOUTING.]
Um, I was good, too.
I brought it home.
- [PHONE CHIMING.]
- Yes, you did.
Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, guys.
I-I got to take this.
And, uh, anyone for refreshments? I know you need to wet your whistle - just in case there's an encore.
- Oh, they're getting an encore, and next time, Gideon's going solo.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, hey, hey, you really turned this thing around.
- Yeah, I've got to go in to work.
- What? No, Gina, if you leave, this party is over.
Melinda went home sick, so somebody's got to cover for her.
What's the worst that could happen, someone dies? They're all, like, 90.
Let someone else have a chance to be the greatest generation.
Oh, it's awful when someone dies.
It's so sad.
And there's so much paperwork.
You'll be fine.
Everybody's having a great time.
That's because of you.
You're the people person.
You started a book club with that lady at the DMV.
That lady has a name It's Rhonda And she loves Harry Potter.
See? I'm not like you.
Well, you could be if you put a little effort into it.
Come on.
Maybe that's why you lost all your friends after the divorce.
No, those were marriage friends.
I'm not married anymore.
That's ridiculous.
So, so when dialysis ends, you're not gonna see these people anymore? Look, it's like the last day at summer camp.
You say you're gonna stay in touch, but you won't.
You're just vulnerable from the "Goodbye Campers" video montage.
Camp, college, your first job It's all the same everybody just moves on and drifts away.
That's on you, Drew.
And what about us? After the transplant, are you just gonna move on and drift away? No, but you know how it is.
Got it.
Gina So, Drew's bedroom is upstairs.
Gina's bedroom is downstairs.
Do you think they ever? - Absolutely.
- Oh, no way.
Look at the stats.
He's single.
She's an attractive woman.
GIDEON: Now, see, you got to be careful with that.
You sleep with your donor and it goes south, you die.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Means somebody else can get that rebound kidney.
- Okay? - [LAUGHTER.]
Hey, I will fight you for it, and I'm a scratcher.
- [GROWLS.]
- Bet you are.
[LAUGHTER.]
Hey, uh, yeah, goofin'.
Yeah, jokes.
Oh, man.
Ah.
That is some, uh, red pepper hummus.
So watch out muy caliente.
[CHUCKLES.]
Where's Gina? Oh, uh, she had to take off.
Aw.
But, um [CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY.]
SAMANTHA: You know what? I should probably swing by my sister's baby shower.
I-I am hosting it, after all.
Thanks for the night.
It was fun.
Well, hang on, hang on.
You guys don't have to leave just because Gina's not here.
We can just hang out, you know? Talk.
Uh, for example, I don't know what brought you guys to dialysis in the first place.
- Diabetes.
- Football injuries.
- Kidney stones.
- And I work there.
- Thanks for having us, Drew.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on, don't leave.
Uh, we're having fun.
Conversation.
You know? Group selfies, revelry, mirth.
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
Is he trapping us at his own party? You know there's a back door, right? We saw it on the tour.
Yes.
I I don't know what came over me.
I'm sorry.
Of course, if you want to go, go.
Thank you very much for coming over.
You know, uh I'd like to stay.
I-I I like hanging with you guys.
- I actually look forward to dialysis.
- SAMANTHA: Ugh.
- That's just the garage beer talking.
- No, no, it's not.
I don't have a million friends, like you, with your high-powered career, or you with your big-time NFL parties.
Actually, that thing was kind of a bust.
What happened? I don't know.
When I got there, everybody acted like they were happy to see me, but it wasn't the same.
It was like they were scared to look at me.
Why? 'Cause they know they're one injury away from being me.
A guy whose career is suddenly over.
If I'm not a football player, who am I? Ah, come on.
You are Eli Russell, a funny, endearing, compassionate, intelligent man who's got his whole life ahead of him.
Plus, you won the frickin' Super Bowl.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
That's true.
- Have you seen my ring? - [CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLING.]
I get it, though.
I haven't told anybody about dialysis.
You guys are the only ones that know.
Not even your family? I mean, why do you really think I didn't want to go to my sister's baby shower? It's 'cause all I'm gonna get is, "Oh, next it'll be your turn to have kids," and if I don't get a donor, I'm-I'm not gonna have a turn.
Yeah.
It's hard when you don't have family to lean on.
I tried to come out to my dad.
Three words in, he stopped me, told me to pray on it, and we never talked about it again.
Geez, read the room, Gideon.
[LAUGHTER.]
Gina, honey, it's dead.
Just watch.
[MOTOR SPUTTERING.]
I had a roommate with a cough like that.
Two days later, I was selling her CPAP on eBay.
Unlike, Drew, I don't give up on old friends.
So he doesn't want to be your friend after the transplant.
If you want a new friend, just have a kid.
That's what my parents did.
Sweetheart, Drew is a grown man.
Why are you forcing a friendship if that's not who he is.
What's so hard about making an effort to stay friends with people so when you're old, you can walk around the pond together and feed the ducks while you're tripping on acid? Ah, that was a fun day.
Was I there? - Yeah.
- Yeah, that was a fun day.
- [MOTOR SPUTTERING.]
- Okay.
Come on.
Come on.
NORMA: You have a lot of friends.
Why is Drew so important to you? You know how good food makes you feel better? It's the same with people.
And I've got plenty of junk food friends.
But Drew is my first vegetable friend.
He's good for me, like broccoli.
Yes, he would be better slathered in cheesy sauce, but he's very particular.
He doesn't even like to put product in his hair.
[FORCED CHUCKLE.]
Where you going with this? I've never had a friend like Drew, and I I just don't want to lose him.
[MOTOR SPUTTERING.]
[FRUSTRATED YELL.]
Oh! I give up! Honey, I've had friendships with people for six months that were way more meaningful than some that lasted for 40 years.
The important thing is to enjoy it for however long it lasts.
[SIGHS.]
You're right.
Are you sure I was there? I'm not even sure you're here.
Thanks again, Drew.
- Oh, sure.
We're hugging now? - Yep.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
No, we're not.
Oh, Jerry.
[OTHERS CHUCKLING.]
- Bye, Drew.
- Yeah.
Drive safely.
- See you, Drew.
- Thank you.
They just left? I thought they weren't allowed to stay past 9:00.
Yeah, but, uh, we got to talking, one thing led to another, and turns out I'm a guy who can make friends.
Well, doesn't matter if you keep them, as long as you make the most of them while you have them.
Well, um - look, about earlier - Oh, hey.
We're good.
I'm just glad you had fun.
I'll help you clean up.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Um, h-how was work? Oh, it was fine.
Except my bike is completely dead now.
Oh, really? I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It was time.
Hopefully, her parts will help another bike live.
Mm, just like her mother.
I am not her mother.
Why do you make everything so weird? We were more like a cool lesbian couple who lived in a yurt who were also beekeepers who collected coins that were touched by ghosts.
Sorry I made it weird.
- Why are you up so early? - Oh, since my bike broke down, these will have to be my new wheels.
You're gonna roller-skate to work? It's the middle of winter.
Well, it should be good for my buns.
Why don't you just take the car? Well, don't you need it? I'm not talking about my car.
I don't understand.
- What is this? - It's your car.
What? You bought me a car? No.
No, it's not a gift.
It's a loan.
You're gonna have to pay me ten dollars a month for the next 50 years.
And because I don't trust you, you're gonna have to make these payments in person.
Okay.
So, long after this transplant's over, you and I are gonna meet once a month for dinner.
Drew.
And we may even have to see a movie afterwards.
So I get to pay back the car in friendship? No, I still want money.
And I'm gonna have to have you sign this loan agreement.
I ran your credit score It's, like, a six.
Wow.
It's improved.
Oh, um, by the way, I'm a little short on cash this month, but next month, I'm in some class action lawsuits that are gonna pay off really big.
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