Ristar 16: A Mozzarella Mystery

= Ristar 16: A Mozzarella Mystery =
== Overview ==
When fans has considered an outcry at the absolute underabundance of spin-off games, Ristar Creators (REDACTED) decided to make an important decision in making a spin-off that not only was important to the plot but was infact integral. A feat that had never been done in any Ristar game prior. Fans also thought that the naming of the Ristar games were weird and wanted it to be numbered again. They soon regretted the decision when it was called Ristar 16. When it was not infact the 16th game, nor anywhere near that number. Ristar 16 is known as a odd game in the series as despite being a spin-off most of the gameplay elements are exactly the same as most other Ristar games. Leading to theories that the developers could only do one thing and never change it up. "Not even a sports game" was a popular phrase uttered after the release as fans clambered for anything that wasn't a platformer or card game based on not losing, "Nice try" the developers often said after being asked if they ever had an original idea in the first place, and then not answering the question in particular and then talking about foosball. When asked if they would make a Ristar Foosball game. They simply responded by saying "Fools ball more like it". As a whole Ristar 16 is known as the turning point in the series as critical and fan response began dwindling as development time had gotten longer after it's release, fans still clambering for Ristarpg 6 after numerous push backs in release date. And the ever coveted Ristarpg 7 toted as being one of the longest in the series to date. Nevertheless Ristar 16 is more commonly known as "That one".
== Gameplay ==
After the release of the famous TellTale game StrongStar's Cool Game for Straight People, it was almost a surprise to see Ristar 16 use none of it's ideas and use everything else almost exclusively from Ristar 3, multiple characters and all. Although it is noted that there is a bit more dialogue than most other Ristar games, and attempts at describing where the characters are. As well as for the first time being voice acted by famous actors from SNL. Saddly they could get only 1 that was funny. No it's not Adam Sandler.
== Lore importance ==
To be fully grasped and understood Ristar 16 came with an ingame manual about many different Pizza and Pasta recipes, pictures, flavour profiles, flavor profiling, general ways to cook pasta, formal dinner party etiquette, informal dinner party etiquette, and why Italians deserved persecution upon arriving to America during the 1900's. The manual was actually not written by the head writer but instead was given to another studio to work on while most of the staff worked on Ristarpg 7. It includes many typos such an equippable being spelled as equiptable.
== Plot ==
Ristar 16 deviates from the status quo of most Ristar games and includes a diverse cast of not star characters, but infact some human characters living in New York. As the setting takes place a few blocks from Ristar's castle, Castle Ristar. At a pizza place.
=== Inside Vinny's Pizzareia ===
Meat: Yaow, this pizza is too hot vinny how hot is that oven of yours?
Vinny: You order hot and spicy pizza I GIVE YOU HOT AND SPICY PIZZA CAPICHE?
*The phone rings*
Vinny: Hang a second phones ringing, i'll chat later.
Twitch: If you wanted a normal pizza you could've just said so Meat.
Meat: I meant with like peppers and stuff, it's just hot temp wise, somehow it's not even burned I swear he corrupted reality to make this pizza.
Twitch: Well if you wanna let it cool down i'm sure it'll be as good as any pizza Vinny makes. You know you don't get better pizza in town at anyplace not as busy as here.
Meat: I know Vinny's is the best but sometimes that guy scares me. I don't even think he wants to be a chef sometimes I think he just likes talking.
Vinny (from far away): YOU CALL ONE MORE TIME AND I BREAK YOUR FUCKING KNEES. (he slams the phone back on the wall). I swear if that Asshole calls me one more time I'll cook his balls like an Ikea meatball on friday.
Pistar: Jeez Vinny you know you only get jape calls nowadays, everyone just walks in through the door.
Vinny: Yes, yes but today is a little slow as you can see. It is wednesday at 2:00pm though so I can only really expect you guys. Did you want another pizza meat?
Meat: No, no, I think this just needs to cool down a bit.
Vinny: Good good, no need to get vengeful meat.
Pistar: I'll take a Pizza Mr.Vinny
Vinny: Please just call me Vin, or Vinny. But for your information it would be Mr.Sauce
Pistar: Your last name is sauce?
Vinny: I was Born to be a pizza chef. At least that's what my dad tells me.
Twitch: He was right though, you can make a darn good pizza.
Vinny: Thank you kids really, always nice to see you.
*The phone rings again*
Vinny: Hold on, imma make sure that finnish bitch isn't calling me again.
Meat: (under breath) Finnish?
Pistar: Guess i gotta wait on the pizza.
Twitch: Sometimes i think the only thing you do eat is pizza.
Pistar: My mom says it's because I was born under a pizza moon on Italian independance day. That's why i got my hand mark.
Pistar lifts his hand to show a crosshair like mark on the outer palm of his hand, it's very evident as even though the rest of his body is a decently tan yellow as most stars are, the mark on his hand is almost like scar tissue. Not changed to the other colouring around it. Almost pale. If not for the red dot in the middle, looking like blood. Most likely on his arteries being too close to his skin.
Meat: That's probably just a birthmark dude
Pistar: I know that, I just think she's trying to make me interested in family history or some balongy.
Vinny: (Still on phone) Yeah you wanna talk about some dedication? Making the pizzas since 5 this morning no other co-workers its just me. No they just used the day as a vacation day. I dunno to see the mountains or go to the deli in new jersey or something I don't ask them what they do in their spare time i'm there boss not their friend. Yeah thanks, chat to you later. (He hangs up the phone)
Twitch: I'll guess that wasn't, some uh. Swedish guy
Vinny: Finnish
Twitch: Finnish
Vinny: It's not important. Anyway what pizza did you want Pistar?
Pistar: Just the usual please.
Vinny: Shoulda known. It's all you eat I swear. You never even try the other options.
Pistar: Maybe one day Vin.
*Some time passes as they wait for the Pizza*
Vinny: Alright one Deep Mozzarella Cheese 2. Now with Boot smell. HAHAHAH
Pistar: You say that everytime Vinny, it doesn't even smell bad.
Vinny: Ah i'm just japing ya kid jeez, enjoy.
Meat: Hold on, what's that on the pizza?
Upon taking a closer inspection everyone sees that the pizza has a line of marinara sauce from a flat pepperoni leading to a grate shaped olive and leading to a X-shaped pineapple. Throughout the cheese is cooked to show almost building like areas, some cheese even looks like bricks.
Vinny: Wait a minute, this isn't what I just cooked. Nobody like pineapple on pizza!
Pistar: No, it can't be the legends are true...
Meat: Do you know what this is?
Twitch: It can only be...
Vinny: What? What is it?
Everyone but Vinny: A PIZZA TREASURE MAP!!!
Vinny: But if I just made a pizza treasure map, does that mean the prophecy is finally going to come true? Has the lost city of Ma Pizzamia been unsealed?
Meat: We gotta follow this map right away, before the city is resealed!
Twitch: I only thought Vinny was just talking nonesense like he always does when he's bored.
Vinny: HEY
Twitch: What it's true
Pistar: We must go there. I just know we do. The map chose US. We must follow it.
Meat: Jeez mister inspired ok let's follow that MAP!
Everybody: HUZZAH!
Twitch: But Vinny what about the shop?
Vinny: Nobody will mind if I do a quick BRB, i'll leave some music on while i'm gone.
Pistar: Should we prepare?
Meat: Yeah take my hot pizza with you incase it cools off sometime soon.
Twitch: But where would we start
Vinny: Pizza maps are made with exact specifications of it's cooking location. It starts where we already stand.
Pistar: Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!
As the gang exits the store they reach a sewer grate with the phrase "Venice me Inn, written on it"
Vinny: This must be it let me see the pizza.
*Pistar hands Vinny the Pizmap*
Vinny: Yep this has got to be the grate leading to Ma Pizzamia. We gotta lift this thing though...
Twitch: It has holes so we can lift it, use ya brain
Vinny: My brain rotted many years ago, ok on 3. 3.2...1!
As they life the grate the hustle and bustle of NYC is almost silent, unbeknownst to them above them a giant battle is taking place, two castles rage in battle above them, the leaders in a dreadful combat. They are all too pre-occupied to notice what important lore implications lie above them. Before they enter the grate and see the sewers below them. The scent of crust tickles their noses as they slowly notice that this sewer is unlike anything they've ever seen. The walls were made of a hard cheese, almost like the entire surface was just rind. The water that flowed was fresh marinara, you could still see it bubble every now and then as anchovies swam across it's tomatoey surface. The ground was also hard, unlike the walls it was made of a thick crust. So hard and crusty not even the strongest man could crack it's doughy hide. They thought themselves lucky at that fact so the floor wouldn't give way. Ahead of them they saw a large obstacle course ahead of them made out of all you can eat breadsticks.
Pistar: It looks like they won't make it easy on us
Meat: I'm ready when you are
Vinny: I'm getting too old for this
Twitch: You play platformers all the time when you're behind the counter not working. Let's do this.
== Cutscene 2 ==
As the gang exists the obstacle course they see a large door, as they enter it quickly closes behind them and locks shut, a speaker from across the room bellows a low static as a voice can be heard coming out of it a second later.
J.A.W: I see you have made it pass the first test. But to escape this room you need to find the key hidden within one of these barrels
As soon as the man says this nearly 50 barrels rise from the floor like the crust was nothing, perhaps underbaked. All wooden barrels with loose-ish tops. The man cackles as this happens
J.A.W: Inside one of these barrels is the key to the exit. Every other barrel is filled with GAS. Choose wrong and you have to endure the smelly smells of rotted cheese until you find the correct barrel. Will you prevail? Let us find out. (the static stops as the megaphone goes silent)
Twitch: Whoever that guy is really needs to find something better to do with his time.
Vinny: Rotted cheese, he thinks that can scare us. I've smelled worse.
Pistar: I hate the smell of rotted cheese, let's do this quick.
Slowly one by one the barrels get opened, releasing a pungent gas of rotted and moldy cheese past their prime. Almost 10 minutes pass as each barrel is open before the last one reveals a key. They quickly open the door and run to safety.
Meat: That wasn't...too bad. For a trap room I guess.
Pistar: Speak for yourself I almost threw up in there multiple times.
Twitch: Come on let's try to get away from that smell before it gets through the door. There's probably more challenges ahead.
Pistar: You're right. Let's go.
== Cutscene 3 ==
After a somewhat empty hallway the gang comes across a somewhat small but homely room. A couch rests upon the wall as a old CRT TV is propped up on a birch wood table. The show that's playing is in a undiscernable language. On the couch sit's two people.
RRR: Oh hey guys wanna watch TV?
KT: No, no, they're not here for that, I gotta give them the test.
Twitch: Test? What kind of test
KT: It's simple really. What am I?
Vinny: That's simple, you're Keenan Tompson.
Keenan Tompson: Damnit I thought that would work.
Meat: Wait a second Keenan Tompson, from All That?
Pistar: No no, he's from victorius
Twitch: Victorius, i though he was the goodburger guy
Meat: Well he's from drake and josh
Twitch: Drake and Josh is just a TV show in Icarly
Meat: Well he wasn't in Icarly though
Twitch: But if he was in victorius than he was in ICarly they had the crossover episode, so he's in it.
Pistar: Wasn't All That also connected to Icarly?
Meat: Wait if he was drake and josh, but thats a tv show in Icarly is he real in Victorius but performed in drake and josh and All That in Icarly then what about Keenan and Kell?
Pistar: Well he was also fat albert and that was a tv show as well so it isn't all that crazy to think about.
Meat: But fat albert came out the tv and became real and met Bill Cosby who was his creator
KT: Try to forget that bit
Twitch: Well if he's real in the Bill Cosby show than keenan tompson was in Ghost dad as a tv star in a tv sitcom who later became the sitcoms creators own creation but also ran a food joint.
Pistar: So bill cosby created fat albert in Icarly?
Twitch: It seems so.
Twitch: But wasn't he also in-
KT: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I get it, thank you. Now please go. I have to watch M*A*S*H.
Meat: Wait Icarly is in M*A*S*H?
KT: NO IT IS NOT GET OUT
As they all leave the thought still was on their mind. What was Keenan Tompson doing in the Amanda show as himself that one time. They're questions would have to answered later as they exited through the next door, one step closer to Ma Pizzamia.
== Cutscene 3 ==
As the crew left the minecarts behind them from the last test they enter another small but cozy room. Once again was a couch, a tv, but this time about 5 people. One looked nervous and was sweating all over the couch. They all looked at eachother and froze for a second. The TV was showing some kind of cartoon, in a school. Before they could look any further one of them spoke up.
???: Hey look we we're kinda planning on finishing this movie before we did the final test so could you uh... just leave?
Vinny: What the hell are you watching on the TV?
The one sweating furrled his brow and looked almost pissed at Vinny the moment he asked and almost with a booming voice
???: It's NOTHING. GET OUT.
Almost before they could utter another word they rushed out of the room before they had to deal with some kind of crazy puzzle and just took the easy way out. Before long they came across a large stone door.
Pistar: How are we supposed to get this door opened?
Vinny: Oh I remember hearing about this one, you just open it.
Twitch: Oh...
Meat: Yeah ok lets.
As they open the towering door they looked inside and saw mountains of pizzas pilled high. Sky scrapers made of pizza, the roads paved with olive oil, clouds of parmesan, the ground almost glistened with how greasy everything was. The room itself was sweltering, almost like it was constantly being cooked to the perfect temperature. Oddly enough the city was empty. Not a citizen to be found. The city itself was impressive due to sheer size and scope. But one thing has gleemed their attentions. A large cross like marking on the wall. It was massive, and a little cracked. It seemed like the only thing left preserved worth noting was the mark. The city, sure was made of pizza. But nothing made their eyes turn away from the mark. Until.
Meat: Pistar... doesn't that look like...
Twitch: it...it can't...no way
Vinny: Kid, thats the mark on your hand
Pistar almost looked like he knew this was the case from the start. It called to him. The mark on the wall. His mind was rushing with thoughts of what it could mean. But all he thought was to put his hand up to the wall. To see for himself. As he placed his hand upon the wall it glowed a brilliant yellow and red streaks flung across it edge to edge. At the same time his hand lit up as well. His mind was flooded with thoughts and memories of Italians past. After a minute he stood still and begun floating above the ground.
Meat: PISTAR?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Pistar: It's not Pistar. I know the truth now I am.
Pizzar: PIZZAR!
Vinny: Dear god it can't be. No, it can't
Twitch: What is it?
Vinny: Pistar wasn't Pistar at all. He was the Italian Anti-christ the whole time. Pizzar the Pastageddeon. The ultimate fate of Italiana 5 home planet of the Pastafarians. It was thought to be a Mozzarella Mystery what happened to them this whole time.
Pizzar: That's right you foolish man. Before i return to my home planet and build my army I must congratulate you on getting me this far in my weakened form. As a gift i'll leave you alive in Ma Pizzamia for now. I will be back mark my words. And no hero can stop me! MUAHAHAHAH (He crashes through the roof and flys off into space, on the way there he bumps into something yellow before quickly speeding off)
At that moment the door behind them shut. Leaving Meat, Twitch, and Vinny alone in a pizza city by themselves. Never knowing when they'd get out.
== Trivia ==
* It is possible Pizzar may return given that it is never specified when his army will return, nor how such a feat is possible as pasta can't fly.
* Ristar, nor Dark Ristar isn't mentioned once in the entire game by name. This is a first for the franchise.
* The backround of Vinny's phone call can be heard, the man on the phone has a thick Swedish accent but yet it called Finnish by Vinny.
* Ghost Pizza is not in the game, despite initial rumors.
Category:Games