Kwickie-Mart Bad Gas

Kwickie-Mart Bad Gas is the fiftieth prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls.
==Transcript==
(ringback tone)
Singh: (censored)?
Milton: Let me speak to the imbecile that sold me this bad gas!
Singh: Hold on...Richard?
Milton: Hello?!
(Singh, an Indian gas station employee, hands the phone over to Richard, the manager)
Richard: Hello?
Milton: Oh, thank God you've answered! Let me speak to the idiot that sold me this bad gas!
(sports radio chatter in the background)
Richard: Oh, you wanna talk to...you said he sold him bad gas....ooh, I don't know......wha-what time you came in, ma'am?
Milton: I'm a sir! I'm stuck in the middle of the street right now! Listen to my car!
(Milton tries to start up his car, but the engine keeps stalling)
Milton: Will not start!
(Milton continues to try and start up his car)
Richard: Wh-wha-what time did you came in here?
Milton: 'Bout a hour ago!
Richard: A hour ago?
Milton: Listen, can you turn down that stinking television set? I can't hear a word you're saying!
Richard: We don't have a TV set.
Milton: Well, what's all that blabbing back there?!
Richard: That's the radio.
Milton: Well, turn the damn thing off! I'm trying to have a conversation! I got bad gas!
Richard: (faintly) Singh, could you....
Singh: (in the background) Okay, what's he want?.....
(Singh picks up the phone)
Singh: Yes, ma'am?
Milton: I'm a sir!
Singh: Uh-huh.
Milton: You're an idiot.
Singh: ....Yeah, I'm an Indian.
Milton: No, I said you're an idiot, not an Indian! I said I got bad gas!
Singh: So what I can do?
Milton: You can come pick me up and take the crappy gas out of my car and give me my money back!
Singh: I can't do that, ma'am.
Milton: I'm a sir!
Singh: No, I- I can't do that. You talk to the manager tomorrow morning, eight o'clock, okay? 
Milton: What is your name?!
Singh: I can't- my name is Singh. I cannot leave the station, ma'am.
Milton: What are you, a idiot?! I'm a sir! I am no-
Singh: Okay, you-you behave yourself. Don't talk like that to me, please.
Milton: I-
Singh: You ta-talk to the manager or (I) complain to the police , okay?
Milton: I just bought twenty-three dollars worth of gas from you and it's crap! And my car is stuck now!
Singh: Okay, I am sorry. I am, I am putting the phone back, okay?
Milton: No! No! Don't hang up on me!
(Singh hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Singh: Kwik Trip.
Milton: You listen, Singh! I'm gonna sue you!
Singh: Oh-you, okay, you go ahead, sue me!
Milton: I will sue you right now!
Singh: Okay, go ahead!
Milton: I will sue you because I have bad gas!
Singh: I tell you-go ahead, sue me!
Milton: How much money do you make?
Singh: I don't make any money here, ma'am! It-it is not your business, ma'am!
Milton: Yes it is, because it's all going to be my money after I sue you!
Singh: No, it is not your business how much money I make!
Milton: You're an idiot!
Singh: All right, okay, thank you.
Milton: You're a moron!
(Singh hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Singh: I am a salesperson here. I am not the boss here.
Milton: You know what? I'm gonna come down there- I'm gonna take the gas pump nozzle and I'm gonna jam it up your butt! How 'bout that?
Singh: Thank you very much. Okay, I am, I am again hanging up the phone-
Milton: No!
Singh: I have a customer here...
Milton: No! I'm very upset!
Singh: Okay, I'm-I'm going to call the police if you don't stop calling me!
(Singh hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Singh: Gas station?
Milton: Yes, Singh? I'm sorry for yelling.
Singh: Ma'am, it's alright. Please leave me...pity on me, I'm busy here!
Milton: I am very upset and I'm sorry I yelled at you.
Singh: It's all right, but please leave me now- let me work, okay? Thank you, okay?
Milton: I'm st-I'm starting to cry....(fake cries)
Singh: Th-thank you, thank you very much.
Milton: Listen, Mr. Singh?
Singh: Uh-huh?
Milton: I would like to invite you to dinner.
Singh: It's all right, thank you very much. I can't come, I'm working here, thank you very much-
Milton: Maybe tomorrow night?
Singh: It's all right, thank you very much, now...
Milton: I'm sorry for yelling...
Singh: It's all right! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Milton: Singh, I love you!
(Singh hangs up)
(ringback tone)
== Trivia ==
* The title of this prank call is a reference to the fictional convenience store the Kwik-E-Mart from The Simpsons.
*Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL8MVo_6GzI
Category:Prank calls