Disney's Space Jam/Transcript

This is a transcript of Disney's Space Jam.
==Summer 1973/Elizabeth William's basketball dream==
[It is nighttime, a shooting star is flying by and the moon is showing and there's a kid playing basketball this is young Michael Jordan and his father James Jordan comes outside]
:James Jordan: Michael?
[Michael turns to see his dad]
:James Jordan: What are doing out here, son? It's after midnight.
:Young Elizabeth William: Couldn't sleep, Pops.
:James Jordan: Well, neither can we with all that noise you're making. Come on, let's go inside.
:Young Elizabeth William: Just one more shot?
:James Jordan: All right, just one.
:Young Elizabeth William: Yeah. [Shoots the ball to the basket]
:James Jordan: [Chuckling] That's good, shoot it again. [Passes the ball to him]
[Michael shoots the ball again to the hoop and makes a shot, his father catches it and smiled]
:James Jordan: Getting pretty good, son. [Passes him the ball] Go ahead shoot til you missed.
:Young Elizabeth William: Do you think if I get good enough, I can go to college? [Shoots it again and makes another point]
:James Jordan: Hey, you get good enough, you can do anything you want to, Michael.
:Young Elizabeth William: I want to play in North Carolina [Shoots the ball to the basket]
:James Jordan: That's a real fine school, real fine school. You can get a first class education there.
:Young Elizabeth William: I wanna play on the championship team, Then I wanna play in the NBA.
:James Jordan: All right, let's slow down, son. Don't you think you oughta get a little sleep first?
:Young Elizabeth William: And once I've done all that..
:James Jordan: Uh-huh.
:Young Elizabeth William: I wanna play baseball just like you, Dad.
:James Jordan: Baseball? Hey, now that's a sport. When you've finished with that, I suppose you're gonna fly m, huh?
[Before they can go inside the house, Elizabeth stops and turns to face the basketball hoop, He runs to the basket dribbling it twice. As he runs, we see images of his older self playing real basketball, he jumps and slam dunks it. The scene showed the audience images of Elizabeth William playing in College and in the WNBA, winning the game, trophies, medals and championships.]
==Elizabeth William's retirement from basketball==
:Elizabeth William: I just feel at this time that I've reached the pinnacle of my basketball career and I must retire. The good thing that comes out of this is that my father had the opportunity to see me play my last basketball game.
:Reporter: What are gonna do now?
:Elizabeth William: Well, I've never really told anybody this, except for one person and uh, but I think I'm going to play professional baseball.
:Reporter 2: What position will you play?
:Elizabeth William: I don't know as a kid, I was a pitcher, I think I'd be kinda hard for me to pitch, I think I'm gonna play in the outfield.
:[As Elizabeth continues talking the camera zooms up panning up to the night sky.]
==Torture Planet==
:[The camera zooms up the sky, panning past the moon and into space. The camera pans past the sign which says "Amusement Park." There is a planet that says "Torture Planet." It is an alien theme park where the aliens go to, the park had a lot of rides and it had an alien head as an entrance. We see the ride with a robot alien zapping ships around it. It continues zapping until it got on target and the ship flies and then it lands on the parking lot and the two aliens are unharmed, but the kid is not happy with his dad.]
:Alien Kid: [Bored] Let's get out of here, Dad. This stinks. Don't bring me here anymore, all right?
:[Then the alien kid is being monitored by a green alien dog he is short, obese he wears a magenta business suit and a pink shirt, this is Mr. Beserko, the owner of Moron Mountain and his minions are small insectoid aliens called Nerdlucks who wear bowties.]
:Mr. Beserko: [To the Nerdlucks after angrily turning off the TV screens] Are you listening?
:[These are the five Nerdlucks Pound is the orange overweight one, Bang is the green scrawny one, Bupkus is the purple stocky one, Blanko is the tall slender blue one, and Nawt is the red short one they came over to Swackhammer as he continues to lecture.]
:Mr. Beserko: Did you hear him? Did you hear him? That little brat is right. I told you if I told you once. I've told a thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand times![Camera panning to his face] We need new attractions!
:Nerdlucks: Right!
:Mr. Beserko: New ones!
:Nawt: [Nodding his head] Uh-huh.
:Mr. Beserko: Get it?
:Nawt: Big shiny new things. Yeah. [Filing Swackhammer's finger nails.]
:Bang: [Cleaning Swackhammer's sandals while Bupkus licks his sandals] Absolutely, sir.
:Mr. Beserko: [Lighting his lighter] Look at me. Look at me and listen. [Burning Pound's butt with his lighter and Pound screams in pain, then he jumped off the desk] The customer is always right!
:Nerdlucks: Right!
:Mr. Beserko: The customer is always right. [Lighting his cigar and smokes]
:Nerdlucks: Yeah! exactly!
:Mr. Beserko: [Smiling and drooling] Always! [Green drool lands on Blanko]
:Blanko [Disgusted] Eww!
:Nerdlucks: Right!
:Mr. Beserko: [Gets up from his chair] Okay, we need something. [Hits Nawt and Bupkus]
:Bupkus: Oh, my bad!
:Mr. Beserko: We need something... [Hits Pound and Blanko which causes them to yelp] Nutty!
:Nawt: Nutty?
:Mr. Beserko: [Sits on the remote and turns back on the TV screens] Something wacky.
:Nawt: Hmm, wacky.
:Mr. Beserko: We need something, something, something, we need something...
:Bupkus: Disney? [Covered his mouth] Oops!
:Nawt: [Pointing the TVs] Disney, thank you.
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Surprised] Disney? [Turns around and noticed the TV screens on]
:[He sees the Walt Disney on the TV screens which gave him the idea]
:Mr. Beserko: [Smiling excitedly] Yes, Disney! Yes! Now you're talking! Disney, Disney, that's it, that's the word I was looking for! [Bupkus looks up at him smiling and giggling excitedly] Disney, get the Walt Disney!
:Bupkus: [Jumping up Happily] Walt Disney!
:Mr. Beserko: Bring them here!
:Blanko: Sir, just noticing, sir. They're from Earth, what if they can't come?
:Mr. Beserko: [Glaring] What did you say? What if they can't come? [Grabs Blanko by the neck, choking him and smiled evilly] Make ‘em!
:Blanko: [Strained voice] Cool.
:Mr. Beserko: Make ‘em! [Laughing evilly] Disney!
:Bupkus: We're gonna get them. Yeah, all right!
:[The camera zooms away from Torture Planet]
==Elizabeth William's first baseball game==
:[Back on Earth, the camera zooms in on a baseball field, where Michael is having his first baseball game. He swung the bat, but misses the ball.]
:Umpire: Strike!
:[The crowd cheered for Michael and the Baron's players watch Michael.]
:Baron's player: Looks good in that uniform.
:Baron's player 2: Looks great. Can't teach that.
:Baron's player: Can't teach it.
:[On the field, the catcher from the Star's team talk to Michael.]
:Star's catcher: Hey, thanks for autographing that basketball for my kid. I'm a hero now.
:Michael Jordan: No problem. Happy to do it man. [The catcher smiled and nods his head]
:Umpire: Let's go!
:[Michael gets ready to swing the bat again.]
:Star's catcher: Curve ball. Don't swing. [Nodding his head] Don't swing.
:[Michael looked at him confused, but he took the advice. The pitcher throws the ball and Michael doesn't swing.]
:Umpire: Ball!
:[The crowd and the players cheered]
:Star's catcher: Fastball, outside corner. Swing.
:[The pitcher throws the ball again, Michael swings the bat, but he missed.]
:Umpire: Strike!
:Star's catcher: That was your pitch.
:Michael Jordan: I know I missed it.
:Star's catcher: Don't worry I'll get you another one.
:[On the stands, the baseball manager is watching the game and he's concerned about Michael and he has an idea.]
:Baron's manager: [Calling] Podolak! Podolak, come here.
:[A man gets up from his seat and walks up to the manager. This is Stan Podolak.]
:Stan Podolak: Sorry, didn't mean to.
:Baron's manager: Come here!
:Stan Podolak: Yes, sir?
:Baron's manager: I want you to make sure nobody bothers Michael. I want him to be the happiest player in the world.
:Stan Podolak: The happiest.
:[Back on the field, the catcher sees the pitcher.]
:Star's catcher: Slider, don't swing.
:[The pitcher throws the ball and Michael swung the bat. but missed again.]
:Umpire: Stike three!
:Star's catcher: I told you not to swing.
:Michael Jordan: I couldn't help it.
:Star's catcher: I understand. Hey, nice talking to ya.
:[Michael walks to the dugout as the crowd and his teammates cheered for him.]
:Baron's player: We're not worried. We're not worried. [Michael sits down as they talk to him.]
:Baron's player: Good job, Mike.
:Baron's player 2: Don't worry. Good try. Good hustle.
:Baron's player 3: Good cut, Michael. Good cut.
:Baron's player 4: That was a strikeout, Mike. That was a good looking strikeout. Real good.
:Baron's player 5: I mean, you look good when you strike out, man. When I strike out, man, it looks nasty, man. At least you did good man. Good looking.
:[Stan gets on his stomach and leans down to Michael.]
:Stan Podolak: [Smiling and waving] Hi, Hi, Mr Jordan. Mr Jordan I'm Stan Podolak. [Leans in too far and falls down]
:[Stan falls in the dugout and lands on his back, hurting himself. The players look at him as gets up, groaning in pain and he sits by next to Michael.]
:Michael Jordan: You all right? That was a nasty fall.
:Stan Podolak: Yeah. [Looks at him and shakes his hand] Oh, I'm Stan Podolak, Mr Jordan. I'm the Baron's new publicist. I'm here to make your life easier. You want me to drive you somewhere, I will drive you anywhere. You want me to pick up your laundry, babysit your kids, I will do it. I am here to personally guarantee that no one will ever bother you.
:[Suddenly a spaceship flies by and the crowd gasped in shock and it disappeared. All the people get confused.]
:Michael Jordan: What was that?
==Nerdlucks meets Bugs Bunny==
:[The people at the market screamed and run out of the way. The spaceship crashes into the ground and goes underground. Inside the ship are the Nerdlucks and Pound drives the ship. They fly through a tunnel.]
:Pound: Hang on!
:Bang: Hanging on!
:Bupkus: Hoo-hah!
:Nawt: Hanging on!
:Blanko: Are we there yet?
:[They continue flying through the tunnel. The ship shakes and the Nerdlucks scream and they see the Warner Bros. logo and the Looney Tunes theme song plays as they fly towards it.]
:Pound: [Smiling] Bombastic!
:Nawt: Cool!
:[They fly through the logo and entered Looney Tune land. On the ground we hear gunshots and Bugs Bunny is running.]
:Elmer Fudd: All "wight", you irascible bunny! Come back here, you "scwewy" rodent!
:Bugs Bunny: [To audience] I'll, uh, be with you in a sec, folks, after I finish with nature boy here.[Gets pointed at by Elmer's shotgun and Bugs looks at him]
:Elmer Fudd: All right, you pesky "wabbit". I've got you now! [He's about to shoot Bugs, a metal ramp comes down on him and crushes him] Ouch!
:Bugs Bunny: [Looks at the spaceship] Hmm. [The spaceship door opens and the Nerdlucks come out]
:Pound: One small step for Moi!
:Nerdlucks: Moi!
:Bang: [Pulling out a flag] One giant leap for Moron Mountain!
:[Bang hits Pound in the foot with his flag and Pound screamed in pain. Bugs looks at Elmer and sees that Elmer is seeing stars and groaning in pain.]
:Bugs Bunny: And one whopper headache for Elmer Fudd. [He sees the Nerdlucks coming down from the ramp and the Nerdlucks look up at Bugs] Diminutive, ain't they?
:Bang: We seek the one they called Bugs Bunny.
:Nawt: Yeah, Bugs Bunny.
:Bang: Have you seen him?
:Pound: Where is this guy?
:Blanko: Is he around?
:[Bugs looks at the audience and then he decides to trick the Nerdlucks.]
:Bugs Bunny: Hmm... Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny, say does he have, uh great big long ears... [Shows them his ears] Like these?
:Nerdlucks: [Nodding in agreement] Yeah! Uh-huh.
:Bugs Bunny: And does he hop around like this? [Hops around the forest]
:Nerdlucks: Yeah.
:Bugs Bunny: And does he say "What's up,doc?" Like this? [Puts his hand on Pound's head and chomps his carrot] Eh... What's up, doc?
:Nerdlucks: [Excited] Yeah! Whoo!
:Bugs Bunny: [Walking away] Nope. Never heard of him.
:Nerdlucks: [Disappointed] Aww.
:Bugs Bunny: [To audience] You know, maybe there is no intelligent life out there in the universe after all.
:[Bugs is humming, suddenly a laser zap hits him, the trees and grass around him die, the sky turns red. The road around turns it into a hole.]
:Bang: Hold on there, Mr. Looney Tune. [Bugs turns around feeling shocked and his ears go down]
:Bupkus: Hey, what do you think we are, stupid? [The Nerdlucks hold their laser guns and pointing them at Bugs]
:Nawt: Don't move a muscle.
:Pound: Okay Bunny, gather up your tune pals. We're taking you for a ride. [Leaning in to camera, smiling and chuckling evilly]
:Nawt: Move it mister.
:[Pound sees Blanko acting dumb]
:Blanko: Totally. All right. [Goes to Pound] So like where we going? [Chuckles, Pound felt annoyed and slapped Blanko in the face.] [Dizzy] Are we there yet? Oh. [Falls down]
==Michael Jordan and his family==
:[Back in the real world, Stan is driving Michael home.]
:Stan Podolak: Aw, I'm sorry it took so long.
:Michael Jordan: Don't worry about it.
:Stan Podolak: That exit on 65 wasn't clearly marked.
:Michael Jordan: Hold up, hold up right here.
:Stan Podolak: What, here?
:Michael Jordan: Yeah.
:[Stan stops the car and parks in front of Michael's house.]
:Michael Jordan: Thanks for the ride, Sherm. I appreciate it.
:Stan Podolak: It's Stan, Mike.
:Michael Jordan: Sorry.
:Stan Podolak: But that's all right, you can call me Sherm if you want to because I've followed your whole career and I think you're the greatest athlete that's ever lived.
:Michael Jordan: [Trying to get of the car] Stan. Stan. Stan. How do I get outta here? That door doesn't work.
:Stan Podolak: Oh! I'm sorry. I-I- [Gets out of the car] I forgot to tell you it's a classic. It's a classic, but it's got a few peccadilloes. Hold on just a second. [Taps the car door and opens it]
:Michael Jordan: [Gets out of the car] Huh, a few huh? It's smoking too, man. You need to get that checked.
:[In the backyard, the bulldog is resting in his doghouse and he sees Michael come home.]
:Michael Jordan: Thanks for the ride. [Takes the bag from the car]
:Stan Podolak: [Looking at the house] Oh this is nice. This is a nice house. Oh that is a beauty. What is that, Colonial?
:Michael Jordan: No, it's a nice house
:Stan Podolak: If you need anything done around the house, I'd be more than happy to help you out.
:Michael Jordan: Oh no. I'm fine thanks.
:Stan Podolak: Anything you need.
:Michael Jordan: Nah You gave me a ride. I appreciate it.
:Stan Podolak: Okay, sure.
:Michael Jordan: Tomorrow, I'm gonna drive so, I don't need a ride. But thanks though.
:Stan Podolak: Oh. Why? Too conspicuous?
:Michael Jordan: [Smiling] Yeah.
:Stan Podolak: [Chuckling] All right.
:Michael Jordan: Thanks though.
:Stan Podolak: All right. Tomorrow! [Gets in his car]
:Michael Jordan: See you tomorrow.
:[Stan drives away as Michael heads for the front door. The bulldog groans and runs up to Michael.]
:Michael Jordan: [Seeing his dog] Come on, Charles. No, not today.
:[Charles jumps on Michael and he falls to the ground. Charles licks Michael's face.]
:Michael Jordan: Oh, dog, get off of me! Your breath!
:Jordan's housekeeper: [Runs out and sees Michael] Mr. Jordan, are you Okay? (To Charles) Get off of him, Charles! Come on!
:Michael Jordan: Bad dog! Git! Oh!
:Jordan's housekeeper: Come on, Charles! Get off of him! [Grabs Charles by the collar, pulling him away] ]Pooch, stop it! Get off of him before I cook you! Come on, come on, come on, baby, come on.
:[Michael wipes the dog slobber off his face and a van pulls up. The kids wearing baseball uniforms come out of the van and they run down the sidewalk. This is Michael's wife Juanita Jordan she comes out of the van.]
:Juanita Jordan: Come on, you guys. Get out of the car!
:Kids: Bye, Mr. Jordan.
:Michael Jordan: Bye kids.
:[Then Michael's son Jeff comes out of the car sadly.]
:Little League girl: Hey good game.
:Michael Jordan: [Concerned] Hey, Jeff. You okay?
:[Jeff looks at him sadly and shook his head. He walks up and heads to the house.]
:Michael Jordan: How was your game?
:Jeffery Jordan: I don't want to talk about it.
:Marcus Jordan: [Running past him] Hi, dad!
:Michael Jordan: Hey, hey, hey.
:Passengers: [Driving by and waving to Michael] Bye Michael!
:Jasmine Jordan: [Happily running up to him] Daddy! Daddy!
:Michael Jordan: [Picks her up and hugs her] Hi, how you doing?
:Juanita Jordan: Hey.
:Michael Jordan: Hey.
:Juanita Jordan: [Kisses him] Ooh! You're all covered up with drool, baby.
:Michael Jordan: That's your dog.
:[Juanita laughs and they walk inside the house.]
:Michael Jordan: What's the matter with Jeff?
:Juanita Jordan: Well, he went 2 for 5 and 32 points in his batting average.
:Michael Jordan: [Shocked] Is that all?
:Juanita Jordan: Yeah, so that puts him that at, like uh, 685 or something.
:Michael Jordan: He's batting what?
:[They walk into the kitchen and Michael puts down Jasmine down she goes into the living room.]
:Juanita Jordan: Mmm, smells good in here. Whatcha cooking?
:Jordan's housekeeper: Chicken.
:Michael Jordan: Chicken and what?
:Jordan's housekeeper: Chicken and collard greens.
:Michael Jordan: Good. I'm gonna need a good meal tonight. [Housekeeper chuckles and Michael felt sad]
:Juanita Jordan: [Concerned] Is everything okay?
:Michael Jordan: Boy, I stunk up the place. I hope this baseball's thing is a good idea.
:[In the living room, Michael kids watches the news on TV. It's about Michael at his baseball game.]
:Newsman: It was another career day for Michael Jordan at Baron's field this afternoon. Let's face it. This baseball...
:Michael Jordan: What are guys watching? [He goes into the living room and sees the news on TV, and sits down to watch]
:Newsman: Today he went 0 for 4 with three strikeouts.
:Michael Jordan: Is this the only thing on TV?
:Newsman: That brings his batting average down to an anemic .214, which also happens to be his playing weight. Baseball bat? Get this guy a tennis racket!
:[The news shows the strikeouts Michael had today. Michael doesn't like it.]
:Jeffrey Jordan: Did everyone get mad at you?
:Michael Jordan: No, worse. Everyone was real nice about it.
:Newsman: Michael, I know golf is your sport, but not here.
:Jeffrey Jordan: I think you should open your stance a little. It might make you more aggressive at the plate.
:Michael Jordan: Oh, you think so? I'll try to remember that.
:Newsman: Watching this hurts me more than it hurts you. What is that?
:Michael Jordan: [Picks up the remote] What are you guys doing watching that stuff? It's bad for you.
:[He changes the channel for his kids. He finds a channel playing the Road Runner cartoon Beep, Beep.]
:Michael Jordan: There you go, Road Runner. Beep-beep, here. Looney Tunes. [Gets up and goes into the kitchen]
:[On TV, Wile E has a anvil as his wire goes down, sending him to the road. Road Runner stops in front of him. Then Porky Pig comes in.]
:Porky Pig: [Jumps in front of the screen] Stop this cartoon! [Panting to Wile E and Road Runner] We got an emergency cartoon character union meeting to go to.
:Road Runner: Beep-beep! [Running off]
:Porky Pig: Hey wait for me! Hold your horses! [Running after him]
:[Wile E. puts down the anvil to join them before he could walk away, he zooms up in the air. Then nothing else happens on TV.]
:Marcus Jordan: Dang. Where'd they go?
:Jasmine Jordan: Oh no.
==Tune land meeting/The Looney Tunes challenge==
:(Back in Looney Tune Land, all of the Looney Tunes went to the theater for a meeting. Wile E flies down from the sky, crashing through the roof and lands on the floor. Then Daffy comes in with towels and holding a scrub brush.)
:Daffy Duck: (Stepping on Wile E.'s nose) Stop the music. (Shoves Foghorn) Top duck coming through!
:Foghorn Leghorn: Hey!
:Daffy Duck: (Annoyed) Geez! Its getting so a guy can't even get himself wet around here. (To Bugs) So, what's the big emergency?
:(Bugs is tied up in chains and the Nerdlucks are standing by him as he talks.)
:Bugs Bunny: Uh, these little guys would like to make an announcement. (Passes the microphone to Pound) Here you go, shorty.
:Nerdlucks: Go. (Bang pushed Pound)
:Pound: (Goes to the microphone) All right, All right. (Clears throat to the tunes) You, all of you are now our prisoners! (Grinning evilly)
:(There was a moment of silence then the tunes start laughing.)
:Sylvester: Ooh, we're in big trouble now.
:(Pound felt embarrassed as they laughed at him, he looks around and doesn't know what to say. Nawt takes the microphone to continue the announcement.)
:Nawt: We are taking you to our theme park in outer space.
:Blanko: (Steps in) No fooling.
:Nawt: Where you'll be our slaves and placed on display to the amusement of our paying customers.
:(The tunes just rolled their eyes what Nawt said.)
:Daffy Duck: Oh, fear clutches to my breast. (Laughing with the tunes and Yosmite Sam jumps on stage)
:Yosmite Sam: (Firing his guns) We ain't a-going nowheres!
:(Sam points his gun at Pound, but Pound pulls his laser gun and zaps Sam. Sam's clothes, hat, and guns are gun, he is in his underwear and charred. Daffy and all of the other tunes put their hands up. The Nerdlucks point their lasers at them.)
:Bugs Bunny: Eh, not so fast, doc. (Taking the chains off him) You can't just turn us into slaves that would be bad. You've gotta give us a chance to defend ourselves. (pulls the chains off his ears)
:Pound: Oh yeah? (Pointing his gun at Bugs) Who says?
:Nawt: Says who?
:Bupkus: What?
:Bugs Bunny: (Writing a note) Just a sec. (Shows them a book that says, "How to Capture Cartoon Characters"?) There. Read 'em and weep boys.
:(Pound takes the book and they see a note that says "Give them a chance to defend themselves.")
:Blanko: What's this?
:Nerdlucks: Huh?
:Nawt: (Reading the note) Give them a chance to defend themselves.
:Bang: (Rolling his eyes and groaning) Aw. Do we have to?
:Nawt: It's in the rule book.
:Bupkus: It is.
:Blanko: Okay, it is in the rule book.
:Bugs Bunny: (Opens the door) Uno momento. We have to confer. (Closes the door)
:(Inside the room, Bugs is standing in front of the American flag, wearing a military uniform.)
:Bugs Bunny: All right troops. It is for us to choose a battlefield that affords us.
:Porky Pig: (Raising his hand) Oh, I-I g-got it.
:Bugs Bunny: Yes, Private Porkster?
:Porky Pig: How about we challenge them to a spelling bee?
:Elmer Fudd: Say, we could have a bowling tournament. (Chucking)
:Sylvester: Suffering succotash! What's wrong with all of ya? I say we get a ladder. (Imagines his plan about Tweety) Wait til the old lady's out of the room, then grab the little bird.
:(Sylvester pretends he has Tweety and wheezes.)
:Bugs Bunny: (Calming Sylvester) Whoa, whoa. Take a deep breath Sly. (Sylvester calms down, pants and nodding his head) Okay, Let's anaylze the competition here. (Pulls down the chart of the Nerdlucks) Now, what are looking at here? We got a small race of invading aliens.
:Daffy Duck: Small arms, short legs. (Pretending to be a nerdluck)
:Elmer Fudd: Not vewy fast.
:Sylvester Tiny little guys.
:Porky Pig: Can't jump high.
:Tunes: (In unison) Uh-huh. (Smiling)
:(They pull up the chart and go outside to the Nerdlucks. Bugs has a basketball with him as he looks at them.)
:Bugs Bunny: We challenge you to a basketball game. (Spins the ball around with his finger)
:Pound: All right basketball is is!
:Bang: Basketball!
:Nawt: Basketball! (Jumping and clapping happily)
:Bupkus: Oh boy, Oh boy (Wags his tail happily)
:Blanko: (Excited) All right! (Confused) What is basketball?
:Bupkus: (Shrugging) What's that?
:Nawt: Beats me.
:Bang: We didn't have that in school.
:Pound: I have no idea.
:Bupkus: What?
:Bugs Bunny: Lights!
:(The lights turn off as the movie starts, Foghorn is trying to find the seat and he's in the way of everyone's view.)
:Foghorn Leghorn: Pardon me. Sorry.
:Barnyard Dawg: Hey! Down in front! (Throws his popcorn at Foghorn)
:(The popcorn hits Foghorn in the head and falls down, the movie starts it shows basketball history.)
:Narrator: An exhilarating team sport currently growing rapidly in popularity is basketball. Unlike football and baseball, only five men can play on a team. It's a fast-paced, razzle-dazzle game that requires wits and even faster reflexes. Here's how it's done in the professional ranks, the national basketball association, featuring the best players in the world.
:(The Nerdlucks are watching and listening to the movie. They all smiled beginning to understand what basketball is. Then they have an idea.)
:Nawt: The best players in the world.
:Bupkus: The best! [Pound smiled at the idea]
==The Nerdlucks stealing the talent from five NBA players==
:[The camera switches to New York City it is nighttime outside of Madison Square there's heavy traffic. Inside there's a basketball game between the New York Knicks and Phoenix Suns. Charles Barkley has the ball. he shoots it and scored, the crowd booed. The Nerdlucks arrive in disguise wearing a trench coat and a hat they bumped into some of these people.]
:Bang: Excuse me. Oh so sorry.
:Nawt: Excuse me. [They sit down next to the woman.]
:Bupkus: Ow! Get your feet out of my nose!
:Nawt: Quiet, they're looking. [Shushing then to Bang and Blanko] Hey, it's basketball.
:Bang: [Opens the coat] Where?
:Blanko: Whoa, now what?
:[The Knicks scored and the crowd cheered. The woman looks at the Nerdlucks.]
:Nawt: Hey Hey!
:Pound: What, What?
:Nawt: She's looking again.
:Bang: Close it up. Close it up. [Closing the coat]
:Blanko: Tightly.
:Bupkus: [Exclaims] You poked me again! [He groaned as the woman gets uncomfortable sitting next to them and she turns to her husband.]
:Woman fan: Sweetheart?
:Male fan: What?
:Woman fan: I thought you were gonna get better seats this year.
:Male fan: This is as good as I could get.
:Woman fan: This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.
:Male fan: [Annoyed] Honey, will you just let me watch the game? Barkley's killing us!
:Bang: [Quietly] Hey, someone's killing someone.
:Blanko: Nah. seriously?
:Pound: Wow a killer. Let me see.
:Nawt: [Sees Charles Barkley and points at him] There, that's him the killer! He's big.
:Blanko: [Smiling] He's good.
:Pound: [Pushes down Blanko and smiled evilly] He's mine! [Closes the jacket]
:Nawt: Okay, go get him.
:Pound: Yeah, watch out.
:[The woman looks at them again, as the coat lowers down. She jumped up from her seat startled. Pound comes out from under the coat he changes into pink ooze and he goes onto the court. As Charles Barkley walks up, Pound launches into Charles Barkley's nose and goes inside his body the crowd gasped in shock. He twitches as Pound comes out his body, he felt dizzy as goes back to his teammates.]
:Sun's Player: [Pulling Charles by the jersey] Come on, get back on defense. Come on. Get back on "D", man!
:[The Knicks player Patrick Ewing, he scored and the crowd cheered. The Sun's coach see's what's happening to Charles Barkley and stands up from his chair.]
:Paul Westphal: What are you doing?
:[Charles Barkley is waving his hands wanting the ball, but one of the players scored and missed.]
:Paul Westphal: Time-out! Call a time-out!
:Sun's player: What's wrong with you, man? You're killing us!
:[Pound goes back to the coat, Bang, Bupkus, Blanko, and Nawt open the coat for him and Pound goes inside the basketball.]
:Nawt: Okay, let him in open up.
:Blanko: Open.
:Bupkus: [Happily] Wow! He did it!
:Pound: [Comes out of the ball and smiled gleefully] I got it! I got his talent! [Pointing Charles Barkley's talent]
:Bang: All right!
:Blanko: Super.
:[At the court Charles Barkley is upset about not playing anymore.]
:Paul Westphal: Sit down, Chuck.
:Charles Barkley: Hey, man I'm fine! I am fine! [Sits down and grabs a towel]
:Paul Westphal: No, no, no, no. I'm playing you too many minutes.
:Charles Barkley: I'm not tired!
:Paul Westphal: [To assistant coach] Go get the doctor.
:[Back at the game, Patrick Ewing dunked the ball and scored. Then Bang comes as pink ooze and he approaches him. He launched into Patrick Ewing's nose and goes inside his body, he twitches around and Bang comes out of his body. His concerned teammates check on him.]
:Knick's Player 1: What's up man? You all right?
:Patrick Ewing: Yeah.
:Knick's Player 1: You sure?
:Knick's Player 2: Come on, we're okay, We're okay. You're all right. Come let's go.
:[The referee blows the whistle and tossed the ball to Patrick,instead of catching it the ball hits his chest. All of the players look at Patrick confused.]
:Referee: Come on, Patrick its showtime.
:[The referee tosses the ball again Patrick tried to catch it, but he missed again. The crowd looks at him with worry. He gets ready to shoot the ball into the hoop. He looks at the hoop and then he throws the ball a little too high and it went flying into the stands it hits the popcorn and he falls down spills popcorn everywhere.]
==Bad News for the NBA==
:[The camera switches to a hotel room where the news is on TV.]
:Ahmad Rashad: In a shocking development, 5 NBA players have been placed on a disabled list in the last 24 hours, all suffering from the same mysterious ailment. Whatever this mystery is, it seems to have a devastating affect on the player's coordination. Watch Patrick Ewing.
:Michael Jordan: [Talking to his family on the phone] Yeah, I'll be home in a couple of days. Put your mom on the phone.
:[Michael watches the news and sees Patrick Ewing hit in the head with the ball and it shows Charlotte Hornet's players Larry Johnson and Muggsy Bogues.]
:Michael Jordan: (On the phone) Hey baby, how you doing? You watching TV?
:Ahmad Rashad: It wasn't just here in New York, that's really frightening about it. Check out Muggsy Bogues and Larry Johnson at the Highlands.
:[Michael watches Muggsy Bogues twitching around as the 76er's player steals the ball and runs to the hoop.]
:Coach on TV: [Angrily] What the hell's going on!?
:Hornet's Player: You all right, Larry?
:Larry Johnson: I'm ready coach, sure all right. (Tries to drink the water but it spilled all over him)
:Michael Jordan: [To himself] Looks like I retired just in time. (Hears knocking on the door, On phone) All right, baby. I gotta go, I'll call you later? Love you bye.
:[Michael hangs up the phone and sees Shawn Bradley, walking down the court trying not to trip and Michael hears knocking again.]
:Michael Jordan: It's open!
:Stan Podolak: [Opens the door] Come on, Michael, it's game time. Get your hanes on, grab your Wheaties and your Gatorade. We'll pick up a big mac on the way to the ball park.
:Ahmad Rashad: Now we take you live to the Forum in Los Angeles, where the Lakers are refusing to take the court.
:[The camera switches to Los Angeles, reporters, camera men, and fans gather around the Lakers and their coach comes out of the locker room.]
:Laker's Coach: Guys, we gotta get dressed. We got a game in 5 minutes. I mean, we're talking about a huge fine here.
:Laker's Player: No way coach
:Del Harris: Oh.
:Cedric Ceballos: You heard what happened to Barkley and Ewing. It's got to be germs in there or something.
:Laker's Players: [Agreeing] Yeah, yeah that's right.
:Del Harris: Cedric, that was in New York 3,000 miles away.
:Laker's Player 3: Bacteria like that can travel than the speed of light.
:Laker's Player: Yeah it could be Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
:Laker's Players: Yeah could be.
:Del Harris: [Sighs] All right dress in the hallway.
:Laker's Players: Okay.
:[The Laker's put gas masks on as they prepare to go the locker room.]
==The Nerdlucks transformation into the Monstars==
:[Meanwhile back in Looney Tune Land the tunes are practicing basketball]
:Bugs Bunny: Okay, okay, now which of you maroons have ever played basketball before?
:[The Tunes murmur and Daffy steps in]
:Daffy Duck: I have, coach, and there's an important stragetic question I need to ask you.
:Bugs Bunny: Yes?
:[Disco music plays as Daffy Duck did a fashion show he tried on random jerseys and the last one he's trying on a gold jersey, purple shorts, black sneakers, and green hair.]
:Daffy Duck: What do you think? I'm kinda partial with purple and gold myself. It goes better with my coloring.
:Porky Pig: Hey guys. [To Daffy] Nice outfit, Daffy. [To Bugs] The little aliens say it's their turn to, uh, use the court.
:[The Nerdlucks are working out but they did very bad]
:Bugs Bunny: Yeah sure, let the little pipsqueaks knock themselves out.
:Daffy Duck: Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.
:[The Tunes laugh, as they leave the dark clouds appear in the sky Pound and Bang smile evilly as they hold up the bag, Bupkus, Blanko, and Nawt go to them as they open the bag a basketball glows with the talents inside it. They all touch the ball absorbing the talents into their bodies, the tunes turn around and see whats going on.]
:Pound: [smiling] Ahh! [He starts to feel strange then he began to grow big and strong, he laughs as he grew muscles]
:[Blanko looks up at Pound then his feet start shaking and big sneakers appear then he zooms up and grows tall, Bang started to grow tall he groans in pain as he grew muscles and his spine got strong then the spikes pop out. He turns to face the audience with his eye staring at the audience as he chuckles then he roars like a beast. The Tunes’ eyes widen with shock as they look up at them the Nerdlucks are now big and strong Pound looks like Charles Barkley, Bang looks like Patrick Ewing, Bupkus looks like Larry Johnson, Blanko looks like Shawn Bradley, and Nawt looks like Muggsy Bogues. They're humanoid muscular aliens who wear navy blue basketball uniforms with gold trimlines, white zeroes and navy blue sneakers they smiled evilly at the Tunes. Pound and Bang chuckled at them and their voices become deep and resounding.]
:Blanko: [To Porky] Hey, little pig. [Bending down to Porky] Boo.
:Porky Pig: [Shrieking then Sheepishily] (stummering) I wet myself. [Smiled and blushed]
:[The muscled aliens chuckled as Bang picks up the basketball and the Tunes look on.]
:Bang: Time to play a little basketball. [Yelling and he slammed the ball to the ground which causes an earthquake on the court the tunes run around until they get stuck in the middle, Foghorn, Elmer and Sam hug each other, Daffy, Porky, and Sylvester looks up at them)
:Daffy Duck: Those little pipsqueaks just turn to superstars.
:Porky Pig: They're (stummering) me- me- monsters.
:Sylvester: Suffering succotash! [Points at them] They're Monstars!
:[Bang pops the basketball in his strong hands then they leave the court]
:Bupkus: Bye Bye.
:[As they leave they shake the ground and a hotel goes to the ground]
:Bugs Bunny: [Eating his carrot, to the audience] Eh, I think we need a little bit of help.
==Michael Jordan's hole in one==
:(Back in the real world, Michael is golfing with Stan, Larry Bird, and Bill Murray.)
:Bill Murray: (Sighs talking to the golf ball) 175 yards, OK little fella. You my friend? Or are you my enemy? You are my friend, right? You are my ally. You are my associate, my personal assistant. You are my weapon. You are leaving. (Hits the golf ball)
:Michael Jordan: Oh. Great shot.
:Stan Podolak: (Clapping) Mmm. Nice shot, Mr Murray.
:(Bill's ball lands far from the hole. He is still hanging his golf club above his head.)
:Michael Jordan: You can stop posing now. (Chuckling softly) Good try.
:Larry Bird: Not bad. Not bad. (Walks in next)
:Bill Murray: (Walking up to Michael) Something for you to shoot at.
:Michael Jordan: Hit it good Larry.
:Larry Bird: Do my best.
:Michael Jordan: (To Bill) It was a good shot.
:Bill Murray: Yeah I know Mike, I gotta ask you something. The NBA has to face reality. What's happening to these players is serious. They're gonna need some new players with talent, guys who are skilled but never really thought about a professional career before. (Thinks for a moment) You think I got a shot? (Michael shook his head) Come on, really?
:Michael Jordan: No.
:Bill Murray: Don't kid me.
:Michael Jordan: Listen, it's a man's game, and you can't play.
:Bill Murray: What if I tried really hard?
:Larry Bird: Can you keep it down? I'm trying to hit the ball.
:Bill Murray: it's because I'm white isn't it?
:Michael Jordan; No. Larry's white. So what?
:Bill Murray: Larry's not white, Larry's clear. (Larry hits the ball) You got it, Larry!
:Michael Jordan: Get inside this ball.
:(Larry's ball lands near the hole, it almost went in the hold)
:Stan Podolak: (Impressed) Whoa.
:Larry Bird: You clowns can't beat that. It's the best shot I ever hit.
:Michael Jordan: You haven't been playing long.
:Larry Bird: It's a hall of fame shot.
:Stan Podolak: Real nice shot, Mr. Bird.
:Larry Bird: Larry. please.
:Stan Podolak: Nice shot Mr. Larry.
:Bill Murray: Nice shot Larry.
:Stan Podolak: (To Michael) You can't do this. Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. You can do this.
:Bill Murray: Larry, you feel that the NBA has to face reality, don't ya? It's just gotta start looking for some more dominant players in places they've never looked before.
:Stan Podolak: (Continuing) Just look at the ball. Visualize the shot where you want it to go.
:Michael Jordan: (Takes the golf ball and pin) Right, right, right.
:Stan Podolak: Be the ball. Be the ball.
:Michael Jordan: (Annoyed) Get off the tee.
:Stan Podolak: All right.
:Larry Bird: You can't jump
:Bill Murray: I.. Yeah go on.
:Michael Jordan: Close to the pin?
:Bill Murray: Close to the pin, for dinner?
:Larry Bird: Sounds good.
:Bill Murray: I'll go close to the pin.
:Larry Bird: I'll take some of that.
:(Michael looks at the ball, swings the club, and hits it in the air.)
:Bill Murray: That's not bad,. Good shot.
:Michael Jordan: Get down! (Looks on as the ball goes down) Look at that. Look at that spin.
:(The ball lands on the ground, under the ground Bugs is under the ground using a magnet to lure the ball into the hole. Michael and his friends see the ball moving around.)
:Michael Jordan: Come on.
:Bill Murray: It is alive!
:(The ball lands inside the hole. Michael yelled in excitement, Larry, Bill, and Stan cheer for him.)
:Michael Jordan: Yes! My first hole in one! Yes! (GIves Bill and Larry high fives)
:(They all chuckle as they go to see the hole to get the ball.)
:Bill Murray: Oh.
:Larry Bird: Don't say this.
:Stan Podolak: Never seen one of these before.
:Michael Jordan: (Takes the flag pole) Larry, nothing but the bottom of the cup.
:Bill Murray: That's his ball too.
:Michael Jordan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my ball sorry.
:Stan Podolak: Wait, wait, wait. Let me get a picture of this.
:Michael Jordan: You guys are jealous.
:Stan Podolak: All right. Here we go. Now you're gonna smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball, and then you smile , OK?
:Michael Jordan: Yes. (Leaning in and reaching in for the ball)
:Stan Podolak: And you think, "This is good."
:Michael Jordan: Just take the picture!
:Stan Podolak: All right. OK.
:(Michael puts his hand in the golf hole and smiles for the camera. Before Stan could take a picture, a rope appears from the hole and grabs Michael's wrist, it pulls him down the hole, making him lose his hat and one of his shoes. Stan, Bill, and Larry get confused, Stan looks from the hole and to the camera.
:Bill Murray: What kind of camera is that?
:Stan Podolak: It's just a--
:Bill Murray: (Grabbing the camera) Would you not point that at me, please? And close the lens caps! (Tosses the camera away)
:Stan Podolak: I didn't do anything! I just took--
:Larry Bird: Where'd he go?
==Michael Jordan meets the Looney Tunes==
:[In a tunnel, Michael is being dragged further down into the tunnel as his screams echo through the tunnel. His lips flap as he sees the Warner Bros. Pictures logo ahead, he went through it. He is in Looney Tune Land. He flies down from the sky and into their town. He crashes down onto the ground. Sam is roping up his rope, Michael sits up all dizzy, with flying golf balls around his head. He sees Bugs Bunny in front of him.]
:Bugs Bunny: Oh, uh, look out for the first step, doc, it's a real lulu.
:Michael Jordan: Bugs Bunny?
:Bugs Bunny: Eh, you were expecting maybe the Easter Bunny?
:Michael Jordan: You're a cartoon, you're not real.
:Bugs Bunny: Not real, eh? If I weren't real, could I do this?
:[Bugs grabs Michael by the shirt and kisses him with a big smackaroo. Michael wipes his mouth, disgusted, then the other Tunes show up.]
:Elmer Fudd: Oh, look; is that Michael?
:Sylvester: [Comes out from a manhole cover, rejoicing] It's Michael!
:Granny: It's Air Jordan!
:Tasmanian Devil: [Bursts from the mailbox] Basketball!
:Tweety Bird: [Sees Michael down below from his nest in a tree] Ooh, I tawt I taw... [As he flies down from his nest] I *did*; I did see Michael Jordan!
:[All of the tunes gather around Michael as he looks at them.]
:Porky Pig: [Pulling out a pencil and autograph book] Eh, pardon me, Mr. Jordan. Eh, could I have your auto...your John Hancock, please?
:Daffy Duck: [Shows up wearing a doctor's uniform] Back off! Let the doctor take a look.
:[He pulls the lever and Michael is lifted in the air as he sits on the chair. He looks down and sees the toons.]
:Daffy Duck: Whoops. A little high.
:Michael Jordan: [Shaking his head] No.
:Daffy Duck: Going down. [Pulls the lever]
:Michael Jordan: [Closing his eyes and yelling] No!
:[He lands to the ground unharmed. The tunes claps and hold up number signs giving him points.]
:Daffy Duck: So, what do you say we go for a little spin? [He spins Michael around then stops the chair and looks in his ear with an otoscope] Hmm. Now let's what we got inside here.
:Bugs Bunny: [Waving] Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
:Daffy Duck: [Puts a thermometer in Michael's mouth] Say "Ahh"! [The thermometer swells and it explodes then Daffy stamps an "A-OK sign on Michael's forehead] All right, he's OK!
:Michael Jordan: [expressionlessly] What's going on here?
:Bugs Bunny: [Jumps on Michael's lap] Why, Michael, I thought you'd never ask. You see these aliens come from outer space, and they wanna make us slaves in their theme park. Eh, what do we care they're little. So we challenged them to a basketball game. But then they show up and they ain't so little. They're huge! We need to beat these guys. [Imaging himself being chained up and being forced to perform on stage] ‘Cause they're talking about slavery! Then they'll make us do stand-up comedy, the same jokes every night for all eternity. We're gonna be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to perform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, fat-headed, humor-challenged aliens! Eh, what I'm trying to say is... [Shouting] WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!
:Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!
:Bugs Bunny: [Sarcastically, pulls out a rabbit skull] Right, and I'm a Shakespearean actor. [Tosses the skull away]
:[Meanwhile, back in the real world, Stan is staring down the golf hole where Michael disappeared through.]
:Stan Podolak: Mike? Michael? It's Stan. Stan Podolak. Uh look, I-I need you to come out now, okay? Because you got a baseball game tomorrow. And I'd look pretty stupid if you don't show up.
:[As Stan looks in the golf hole, Bill and Larry leave the golf course.]
:Larry Bird: You think Michael's all right? Boy, I hate to leave him like this.
:Bill Murray: Aw, I'm sure he's fine. I think he had to get away from that Stan character.
:Larry Bird: Oh, god he's pathetic, isn't he?
:Bill Murray: Yean. Larry, I'm gonna give us both twos back there. We weren't in any kind of emotional state to putt.
:Larry Bird: I think that's fair.
:[Bill and Larry put their golf clubs in the trunk and they get in their golf cart and drive away.]
:Bill Murray: Now, if Mike is gone, the NBA is gonna need some new people. There's room at the top. An exciting kinda guy who could maybe even perform at halftime. Now, are you still tight with David Stern? I mean a phone call from you...
==Spit shine in the gym==
:[The tunes take Michael to their gym.]
:Michael Jordan: Look, I wanna help, but I haven't play basketball in a long time. My timing's off.
:Bugs Bunny: Eh, we'll fix your timing. Look at our facilities.
:Daffy Duck: We got hoops! [Holding onto the hoop as it breaks as he falls to the ground]
:Elmer Fudd: We got weights! [Taz is lifting weights, then it toppled on two gophers]
:Sylvester: We got balls! [Opens the locker and the balls pour out] Whoa!
:Michael Jordan: You sure do, this place is a mess.
:Daffy Duck: Mess? You're worried about a little mess? There's nothing a little spit shine wouldn't fix. [Shouting] Spit shine!
:Sylvester: [Shouting] Spit shine!
:[The Tunes start spitting all over the gym floor as Michael gets disgusted. Then Taz picks up two mops and starts spinning around with them, wiping up the place. The entire gym is clean and Taz stops.]
:Tasmanian Devil: Lemony fresh.
==Michael Jordan meets the Monstars==
:Michael Jordan: You guys are nuts.
:Porky Pig: Correction, we're Looney Tunes.
:Daffy Duck: [Lifting his butt up, showing a Warner Bros. logo on it] And as such exclusive property and trademark of Warner Bros. Inc. [Kisses the logo]
:[Suddenly, they hear a rumbling noise, they all turn to the doors all round and then the Monstars come in Nawt comes in with a snarl, Pound comes in with a thundering roar and Bupkus and Bang break down the doors]
:Bupkus: I'm here!
:Blanko: [Opens the doors and comes in] Me too [Hits his head against the hoop glass and holds his face] That hurt.
:[The Monstars approach Michael and the Tunes growling and snarling as Michael looks at them]
:Michael Jordan: Who are these guys?
:Bugs Bunny: Well, uh, remember the tiny aliens I told you about?
:Michael Jordan: [Understands] Oh.
:Pound: [To Michael] You've heard of the dream team? Well, we're the mean team, wussy man.
:Bupkus: Wussy man.
:Michael Jordan: Wussy man?
:Nawt: [Jumps on Pound's shoulder] We're the Monstars, M O N... Uh. [Pound smiles at Nawt, then he turned to face Michael]
:Pound: [Challenging Michael] Let's see what you got, chump. [Tosses him a basketball]
:Michael Jordan: [matter-of-factly] I don't play basketball anymore. [Tosses the ball back to a miffed Pound and Bupkus steps in]
:Bupkus: [mocking Michael] I don't play basketball anymore. [Laughing with Pound and Nawt then Bang stepped in]
:Bang: [Smiling and shrugging] Maybe you're chicken. [Clucking and flapping his arms like a chicken]
:Foghorn Leghorn: [Offended] I say I resemble that remark.
:Michael Jordan: You called me chicken?
:Pound: [Pointing at Michael] Hey! Come here!
:[Pound grabs Michael then he scrunches him into a basketball while chucking meanly]
:Pound: [To Nawt] Here ya go, take him! [Tosses Michael to Nawt]
:Nawt: [Catching Michael and dribbling him faster] Watch the footwork! Can you believe it?
:[Nawt shoots Michael and he goes above the Toons burning their heads]
:Bang: [Catching Michael] Get out of the way! [Slam dunks Michael and the glass broke from the hoop]
:[Michael goes down as he dribbled and moaned in pain as the Toons look at him with worry.]
:Pound: [Mockingly to the Tunes] Hey, everybody, look at your hero now! [Snickering with his pals]
:[Michael unrolled back to his normal shape, the tunes approach Michael looking at him with pity and the Monstars snicker at him looking at him meanly]
:Elizabeth William: [Dusting himself] You guys are making a big mistake.
:Bang: [Pointing at Michael] You're all washed up, Baldy!
:Elizabeth William: [Offended] Baldy?
:Chip: [Angrily flying up to Bang's face] He is not washed up
:Dale: Elizabeth's the greatest ever!
:Bang: [Annoyed] Silence! [Flicked Chip and Dale like a bug]
:[Chip and Dale hits the wall, he slides down and moans in pain as Elizabeth picks him up in his hand.]
:Chip and Dale: My poor wittle cwanuim.
:Elizabeth William: [Concerned] Are you okay?
:Blanko: [Concerned pushing Bang and Bupkus aside] Yeah, are you okay? [Leaning in to camera]
:Bang and Bupkus: [Pulling Blanko Angrily] Hey! [Glaring at him for being friendly]
:Blanko: Whoops.
:Chip and Dale: [Teary eyed] You're not scared of them, are you, Elizabeth?
:[Elizabeth looks at Chip and Dale and thinks for a moment. The Monstars look at Elizabeth smiling and chuckling evilly. The Disney get nervous waiting for Elizabeth's answer, Elizabeth stands up and he looks at them he made up his mind.]
:Elizabeth William: Let's play some basetball.
:Mickey Mouse and Disney Friends: [Cheering] Yeah!
==The player's missing talent==
:(Back in the real world, teenage girls are playing basketball and Charles Barkley walks by. He sees the girls, he stops and watched them play. A girl gets the ball and looks up at Charles Barkley, she couldn't believe her eyes.)
:Teenage girl: (Surprised) You're... You're Charles Barkley. (Charles nods)
:Teenage girl 2: Who you talking to?
:Teenage girl: (Calling to her friends) Girls, come on over. Hurry up, hurry. Look it's Charles Barkley.
:Charles Barkley: Hey can I play?
:Teenage girls: (Agreeing) Sure!
:(Charles smiled and goes in, the girl passes the ball to him and he dribbles it. The girl shoots it and she passes to Charles he prepares to shoot it but the girl knocks the ball out of his hands.)
:Teenage girl: You're not Charles Barkley. Just a wannabe who looks like him. Sorry break out. You shouldn't even be here. Be gone. Wannabe be gone.
:(Charles leaves then the camera switches to the hospital where the four NBA players are walking with the doctor.)
:Doctor: Just a few more tests, gentlemen. Tests for electrolyte levels, glucose, CBCS, RBCS, ET cetera. and we've scheduled a 12-lead stress, and neurological battery to include EEG, the reflex test...
:(As the doctor continues talking, Patrick, Larry and Shawn hit their heads on the doorway and fell backwards. In the therapist's office Charles talks to the psychiatrist.)
:Charles Barkley: And then this girl 5 feet nothing, blocked my shot.
:Psychiatrist: When did you first start having this dream?
:Charles Barkley: It wasn't a dream, it really happened!
:(The four NBA players kept going through tests and talked to the doctors.)
:Larry Johnson: (Stands up) And it climbed up my back and into my brain.
:(Back at the Psychiatrist's office, it's Patrick's turn.)
:Psychiatrist: Are there any other areas, besides basketball...where you find yourself...unable to perform?
:Patrick Ewing: (Sits up, Irritated) No!
:Psychiatrist: I'm just asking.
:(Back at the hospital, they continued doing tests and the four NBA players are in wheelchairs.)
:Larry Johnson: I've been MRI'D, EKG'D, X-rayed, laser beamed...
:(In a church Charles is praying to the lord to all the mistakes he made.)
:Charles Barkley: I promise I'll never swear again.I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash-talk.
:(At the Psychiatrist's office, Larry talked to the Psychiatrist and then it's Shawn's turn.)
:Shawn Bradley: I've got other skills. I could go back and work on the farm.
:Psychiatrist: Really? (Then it's Muggsy's turn)
:Muggsy Bogues: What are you saying, that I'm trying to disobey my mama?
:Psychiatrist: I didn't say that, you did Muggsy.
:Muggsy Bogues: But I love my mama.
:Patrick Ewing: Still can't find anything wrong with us.
:Muggsy Bogues: Hey, maybe there's nothing wrong with us.
:Larry Johnson: That's right, Muggs. Maybe it's just in our heads.
:Muggsy Bogues: We're fine. It's just some psychomatic deal or something to do with the moon or the alignment of the planet.
:(Back in the church, Charles is still praying.)
:Charles Barkley; I'll never go out with Madonna again.
:(Back at the golf course, Stan is digging through the hole where Michael went through. A golfer goes to him and sees what he's doing. Stan is surrounded by dirt.)
:Golfer: What are you doing?
:Stan Podolak: (Stops and sees him) I'm, uh...I'm fixing a divot.
:Golfer: Oh. (Walking back and yelling to his friends) He's fixing a divot!
:(Stan continues digging as the golfer leaves.)
==Bugs Bunny meets Lola Bunny==
:(Back in Looney Tune Land, the Tunes are practicing in the gym, but they're messing and fooling around as Michael watches. Sam shoots the ball in the air and it flies, then it hits Daffy in the butt and he falls to the ground. Wile E picks up the ball then the road runner comes and takes it from him. The road runner crashes through the wall, Wile E sees this and goes after him, he hits the hole and slides up like a blind. Michael shakes his head.)
:Michael Jordan: Has anyone ever played basketball?
:(Then a girl rabbit comes in. This is Lola Bunny and the Tunes turn around and see her.)
:Lola Bunny: Um, I have. I'd like to try out for the team.
:Bugs Bunny: Hey?
:Lola Bunny: Hi my name is Lola Bunny.
:Bugs Bunny: Lola? (Shaking her hand)
:Lola Bunny: (Giggling) Yes?
:Bugs Bunny: Hello. Eh, my name is... (Belches) Bugs! (Lola giggles and he clears his throat) You wanna play a little one on one, doll?
:Lola Bunny: (Offended with fire in her eyes) Doll?
:Bugs Bunny: (Hearts in his eyes) Uh-huh.
:Lola Bunny: On the court... Bugs.
:Bugs Bunny: Sure.
:Tweety Bird: Ooh she's hot. (Touches his rear and steam appear with a hissing sound)
:(Michael smiled at him and the tunes watch as Bugs and Lola play together.)
:Lola Bunny: Ready? (Dribbling the ball)
:Bugs Bunny: Yes. (Trying to block her) I got it! I got it!
:(Before he could get the ball, Lola spins him around and winds him up in a knot. She dribbles the ball and slam dunks it. The Tunes are impressed with her skills.)
:Michael Jordan: (Impressed) The girl's got some skills. (Tweety nods in agreement)
:Bugs Bunny: (Sees Lola walking up to him) Yes?
:Lola Bunny: (Pulls him to her face) Don't ever call me...doll. (Blows the ears out of her face)
:Bugs Bunny: Check.
:Lola Bunny: (Heading for the door) Hey, nice playing with you. (The tunes smile at her as she leaves)
:Michael Jordan: Very smooth.
:Bugs Bunny: (Shrugging) Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.
:Michael Jordan: Obviously.
:Pepe Le Pew: (Holding the ball) Mais oui.
:Michael Jordan: OK, where's the ball? (Pepe passes the ball to him) Let's do some drills.
:(The tunes murmur in agreement.Michael's foot gets stuck to the floor. He pulls hard and then he falls to the ground.)
:Michael Jordan: Anyone lend me a pair of sneakers?
:Bugs Bunny: Uh sneakers?
:(They all look down on their feet and they're all bare footed, except Yosemite Sam.)
:Tweety Bird: (Wiggling his foot) Sowwy.
:Michael Jordan: Someone's gonna have to go my house and pick up my basketball gear.
:Daffy Duck: To your house? (Spitting) In 3-D land?
:Michael Jordan: Yeah, whatever you do don't forget my North Carolina shorts.
:Daffy Duck: Your shorts? From college?
:Michael Jordan: I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.
:Looney Tunes: (Disgusted) Eww!
:Michael Jordan: Hey. I washed them after every game.
:Daffy Duck: (Scoffs) Yeah!
:Sylvester: Sure!
:Michael Jordan: I did!
:Porky Pig: Gross!
==Bugs and Daffy get Michael's basketball gear==
:[Back in the real world, it is nighttime. Daffy and Bugs are under the grass.]
:Daffy Duck: The view back here stinks!
:Bugs Bunny: [Stops and sees the house] Whoa! [Bumps into Daffy]
:Daffy Duck: Ow! What?
:Bugs Bunny: We're right in front of Michael's house.
:Daffy Duck: I knew that.
:Bugs Bunny: Shh! Okay, let's go in this way.
:Daffy Duck: I'd say let's go in *that* way!
:[They go in different directions. Bugs goes into the house and Daffy goes into the backyard.]
:Bugs Bunny: He just never learns.
:[Bugs went in the house, and Daffy went to the backyard.]
:Daffy Duck: Now let me see, I must be very, very close. [Lights up a lighter and sees Charles, who is growling at him.] [Nervously] Mother.
:[Outside the doghouse, it shakes and Daffy screams as Charles attacks him. Inside the house, Bugs comes out from under the rug humming.]
:Bugs Bunny: Nice digs. [As he fixes the rug, he hears knocking on the door.] Well, well, I wonder who that could be?
:[Bugs opens the door and Daffy comes in.]
:Daffy Duck: [Dizzy] Twinkle, twinkle, little star... [Falls down]
:Bugs Bunny: Shh. [Whispering] Everyone's sleeping.
:Daffy Duck: [Gets up] I knew that.
:Bugs Bunny: [Closes the front door] Come on, come on. We gotta find Michael's basketball stuff.
:[They walk down the hall to look for the basketball gear.]
:Bugs Bunny: [Opens the right door and peaks] Nope. Nothing in here. [Closes the door]
:Daffy Duck: [Opens the left door and peaks] Nope. Ahh, but a very nice dinette set. [Closes the door]
:Bugs Bunny: [Peaks through another door] Uh-uh. Not here. [Closes the door] Let's look upstairs.
:Daffy Duck: Yes, oh fearless leader.
:[They both go upstairs. They open the first door slowly, it is Jasmine's bedroom.]
:Daffy Duck: So he needs his special underwear... [Sees Jasmine sleeping]
:Bugs Bunny: Shh!
:Daffy Duck: [Quietly] Sorry. You think she's got enough toys?
:Bugs Bunny: Speaking of toys, you know all these mugs and T-shirts and lunchboxes with our pictures on ‘em?
:Daffy Duck: Yeah.
:[As they talk, Jasmine wakes up and sees shadows of Bugs and Daffy. The two leave the room.]
:Bugs Bunny: You, uh, ever see any money from all that stuff?
:Daffy Duck: [Scoffs] Not a cent.
:Bugs Bunny: Hmm, me neither.
:[Jasmine gets out of her bed, wanting to see them.]
:Daffy Duck: [Sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents. We're getting screwed.
:[They go inside the room at the end of the hall and closed the door. Jasmine sees the door closed and smiled.]
:Bugs Bunny: We have found the trophy room. Now spread out and search the place.
:Daffy Duck: [Bows] Yes, sahib. Oh brother. [Turns on the lamp, muttering to himself] I am in the peak of the form, playing second banana to some sort of harebrain...
:Bugs Bunny: Yap, yap, yap. [Sees the North Carolina bag] Hmm. This could be useful. Aha! [Grabs the bag]
:Daffy Duck: [Digging out the drawers from the dresser] If this were a union job, I'd... Yes, that's very nice.
:Bugs Bunny: Hmm. [Sees the sneaker] Oh, one of his shoes. [Puts the sneaker in the bag and looks around] Where is that other shoe? [Sing-songy] Where are you? [Sees the sneaker on the stand] Eureka! [Gets the chair and climbs on it] Come to papa.
:[As Bugs climbs up, Jasmine peaks in and sees them.]
:Bugs Bunny: [Nearly slips and the trophy falls] Oops!
:Daffy Duck: [Annoyed] What a fuzz foot. You are so clumsy!
:Bugs Bunny: [Reaches the shoe and pushed it off] Catch, feather head.
:Daffy Duck: [Catches it with the bag] Thanks.
:[Then Jasmine leaves to tell her brothers, as she walks away, Daffy and Bugs are about to leave.]
:Bugs Bunny: Well, time to go.
:Daffy Duck: Did we get everything?
:Daffy and Bugs: [Realizing] The shorts!
:Bugs Bunny: [Sees the door] In there?
:Daffy Duck: [Walks to the door] Okay, I'll check. [Opens the door, and sees Charles growling at him who has the shorts in his mouth, then Daffy closes the door and gets scared] I found the shorts. [Then Charles breaks down the door and makes it fall on Daffy.] [Dizzy coming out from the door] The pain. [Then he runs up to Bugs] I'm right behind you, pal.
:Bugs Bunny: Uh, that's none too reassuring.
:Daffy Duck: Nice puppy. [Pulls out a bone] How's about a bone? [Charles doesn't take it] No dice.
:[As Charles corners Bugs and Daffy menacingly, Jasmine, Marcus, and Jeff peak through the door, and they see what's going on.]
:Bugs Bunny: [Pulls out a ham] What about a nice holiday ham? [Charles doesn't take it either] He ain't buying it. Can't we talk this over, rover?
:Daffy Duck: [Hugging Bugs, scared] Down, Beethoven.
:Bugs Bunny: [Sees the kids] Ooh! The kids are here.
:[The kids come in the room, and Jeff grabs the shorts.]
:Jeffrey Jordan: Give it to me, Charles!
:[Charles is snarling and won't let go of the shorts at first, but he pulls it out of Charles' mouth and he gives the shorts to Bugs.]
:Jeffrey Jordan: Here you go, Bugs.
:Bugs Bunny: [Chuckling] Thanks, kid. [Gives him a thumbs up]
:Marcus Jordan: [To Charles] Shoo! Shoo!
:[Charles whimpers and leaves the room.]
:Daffy Duck: Bad dog! That is the last time I'm ever working with dogs or children!
:Bugs Bunny: [Walking away] Bye-bye.
:Jeffrey Jordan: [Stops them] Hey, where you going?
:Bugs Bunny: Well, uh, you see, the Looney Tunes have a big basketball game coming up, and uh, your dad's gonna play.
:Jeffrey Jordan: All right!
:Bugs Bunny: Yeah, but don't tell anybody. [Jeff nods his head, Bugs and Daffy leave the house.]
:[Meanwhile the four NBA players are at a fortune teller's place, they sit next to her, holding hands around. She is humming while looking at her crystal ball.]
:Fortune teller: I see aliens. Little aliens from outer space. They force their way inside your bodies. They need your talent to win a basketball game against Bugs Bunny.
:Patrick Ewing: [Whispering] Bugs Bunny?
:Fortune teller: I also see Michael Jordan, being sucked down a golf hole by furry creatures.
:Patrick Ewing: [Gets up from the chair] That's it. We're outta here.
:Larry Johnson: We're leaving now.
:Shawn Bradley: Let's try some acupuncture.
:Muggsy Bogues: Good idea. [To Fortune teller] Bye.
:[Back at the golf course, Stan stopped digging through the golf hole.]
:Stan Podolak: This is it! This is it! I don't know where you are, Michael, but wherever you are, you obviously enjoyed being there more than spending time with me!
:[Bugs and Daffy are walking by, but they don't see him.]
:Daffy Duck: You better hope this Jordan character still knows how to play hoops.
:Bugs Bunny: You and me both, brother.
:[As they talk, Stan hears them and noticed them. He drops the shovel and spies on them as they walk by.]
:Daffy Duck: Listen, how's this for a new team name: The Ducks!
:Bugs Bunny: Please. What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name their team The Ducks?
:Daffy Duck: So sue me, It's just a suggestion.
:[Daffy takes the flag pole off a golf hole and they both dive in the hole. Stan sees them and runs to follow them.]
==Michael Jordan practicing basketball/Shutting down basketball season==
:[Meanwhile in Looney Tune Land and in the gym, the tunes are working out while watching a Richard Simmons workout video.]
:Richard Simmons on TV: You're doing it! You're becoming mighty! Go!
:Porky: Come on guys. No pain, no gain.
:Richard Simmons on TV: I don't hear it! What is it?
:Foghorn: Come on.
:Porky: Come on.
:Richard Simmons on TV: Now shake it! Keep on sweating!
:[As they work out, Bugs comes in.]
:Bugs: Eh, guys?
:Looney Tunes: Yes?
:Bugs: Look who's finally ready to play.
:[The tunes look on with awe as Michael comes in wearing basketball clothes.]
:Michael Jordan: Let's see if I remember how to do this.
:[Michael starts practicing his moves and the tunes are impressed that Michael is back in business. He keeps slam dunking the ball in the hoop. Then Stan arrives clapping and smiling.]
:Stan Podolak: [Happily] Michael! [Michael stops and turns to see him.] Is it really you?! Oh! [Running up to him, and hugged him happily.] Thank God you're all right! You're all right! Oh! I was so worried!
:Michael Jordan: [Annoyed] Come on, Stan. Don't hug me, please.
:Stan Podolak: [Stops hugging] Sorry.
:Michael Jordan: What are you doing here?
:Stan Podolak: I gotta take you back. You got baseball practice.
:Michael Jordan: I can't. I'm helping my friends in their basketball game.
:[Stan turns to see the tunes who are smiling and waving at him.]
:Stan Podolak: Uh, Michael, do you know that your friends are cartoon characters?
:Michael Jordan: Yeah. so?
:Stan Podolak: No, no. Doesn't bother you, doesn't bother me. Let me help! Let me help! I can help! Let me help!
:Michael Jordan: What can you do?
:Stan Podolak: [Takes the ball and dribbles] Well, you know what I mean. I may not be very tall, but I'm slow.
:Sylvester: [Moves his belly] And large.
:Daffy: And a dork.
:Stan Podolak: I'll do anything, Michael! Anything!
:Michael Jordan: Anything?
:Stan Podolak: Anything.
:Michael Jordan: [Escorts Stan to the benches] Come here. Come here for a second. Sit right here.
:[Tweety is sitting down by Granny on the benches.]
:Stan Podolak: Okay. [He's about to sit on Tweety and he moves out of the way. He blows a raspberry at Stan.]
:Michael Jordan: Okay?
:Stan Podolak: Okay. No problem. [Clapping] All right! All right! Let's go, team! [Chuckling, to Granny] You know, if somebody gets injured, we could see a lot of minutes.
:Granny: [Holding out pompons] *I'm* a cheerleader.
:[Meanwhile, back in the real world and at the Great Western Forum, Inglewood, California, there are police cars, fire trucks, and owners around the building and the entire building is covering. Then a limo pulls up and a commissioner comes out and the reporters gather around him.]
:Foreman: Mr. Commissioner, we've got the place sealed off.
:Commissioner: [To reporters] Quiet! Ladies and gentlemen, please, quiet! Listen, after meeting with team owners, I have decided that until we can guarantee the health and safety of our NBA players, there will be no more basketball this season.
:[Then the Commissioner walks away, as the reporters are shouting for him and taking pictures.]
==The Ultimate game==
:[Back in Looney Tune Land a sign says "Tonight the Ultimate Game." The cars are in heavy traffic, The spotlights are shining around. Inside the dome. The Tunes are getting ready for the big game.]
:Lola: [Taping her hand] Yes!
:[Bugs puts his shorts on and makes his tail come out from behind, Elmer ties a bandana to his head and growled. Taz is having trouble getting his jersey on, so he spins around and rips it up and only half a little of it remains. Sylvester and Tweety are doing jump roping and Tweety jumps off and puts on black lace on his face. Daffy puts on an armor helmet and uses random things around him.]
:Daffy: Just get out of my way.
:[Michael puts on his jersey and it said Tune Squad then he looks at his team.]
:Michael Jordan: Ready?
:Looney Tunes: Yeah! Yes!
:Michael Jordan: Let's go.
:[In the arena of the court, the crowd is cheering and booing and Mr. Swackhammer and his Nerdluck slaves have arrived to watch the game then he walks to his seat.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: Are these the best seats? I like em yes! I can see everything from here. Very good.
:[At the announcement box the announcer is asleep, then Hubie and Bertie pull the cord of the speaker and decided to do the announcing.]
:Bertie: Okey-doke ready to go?
:Hubie: [Pushing Bertie out of the way] Yeah yeah sure riot! [clears throat then a sportscaster-style voice] Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Tune Squad. Standing 2'4, the wonder from down under, the Tasmanian Devil.
:[Taz appears with two balls in his hands, he hits them in the air and they land in his mouth then the balls pop. He spins around the court as the crowd cheers.]
:Hubie: At small forward, standing a scintillating 3'2, heartthrob of the hoops, Lola Bunny!
:[Charlie the dog from the crowd passes the ball to Lola she catches it and dribbles it then she spins it around with her finger.]
:Hubie: At power forward, the Quackster of the Court, Daffy Duck!
:Daffy: [Running to the court] Thank you! Thank you!
:[The crowd is silent, the crickets chirp and Daffy is not happy about it.]
:Daffy: [disappointed but sarcastically] Very funny. Let's all laugh at the duck.
:Hubie: And at one point guard, standing 3'3...4' if you include the ears, Co-Captain of the Tune Squad, the Doctor of Delight, Bugs Bunny!
:Bugs: [Pops out of the floor] Thank you! Thank you!
:[The crowd cheered, and the Nerdluck slaves from Swackhammer's stand boo and jeer at Bugs.]
:Hubie: And now the player-coach of the Tune Squad, at 6'6, from North Carolina, His Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!
:[The crowed cheered as Michael smiled and he runs in the court to his teammates, Swackhammer watched Michael as he holds one of his slaves in his hand.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Confused] Who? Is he a Looney Tune?
:Nerdluck Slave: [Stammers nervously] Uh, uh well perhaps.
:[On the court, Michael and the tunes form up together and they put their hands on top of each other.]
:Michael Jordan: You guys ready?
:Daffy: I'm set to take the rack, Jack!
:Tweety: Those Monstars will wish they never been born!
:Michael Jordan: Guys, let's just go out and have fun.
:Looney Tunes: Yeah!
:Hubie: The challengers for the ultimate game, all the way from Moron Mountain, the Monstars!
:[The Monstars run on the court singing Hit em High as Michael looks on, Bang and Bupkus did a body slam, Pound thumping his chest like a gorilla, Blanko and Nawt bump each other's chest. The Nerdluck slaves cheer for the Monstars.]
:Nerdluck Slaves: Go Monstars! Go Monstars! Go, Monstars! Go, go!
:[The crowd boos at the Monstars, Michael approaches them as the spotlights turn off. Bang growls at him and Michael shakes his head.]
:Bang: What are you looking at?
:[Pound growled at Taz, he gulped and fainted. Michael gets into his position as Lola and Bugs run into their positions, Blanko approached Michael as he gets into his position.]
:Blanko: [Chuckling] Cool shoes.
:[Marvin the Martian approached them with the ball, Blanko and Michael both look at him.]
:Marvin: Ready?
:[Marvin throws the ball in the air, Blanko and Michael jump up then Michael gets it and hits it away from Blanko. The game is on Pound jumps up to catch the ball but missed it, Bugs catches the ball and dribbles it.]
:Bugs: I got it! I got it! I got it! I got the ball! I got the ball!
:Bang: [Backhanding Bugs] Coming through little boys! (Bugs slides on the floor.)
:Michael Jordan: [Sees Bugs hurt] Ooh.
:[Bugs is seeing stars, Pound has the ball he jumped up to the hoop and slam dunked into the hoop, Thats two points for the Monstars.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Cheering to the Monstars] Way to go boys! [To Minions] Did you see the moves on that one?
:[Marvin passes the ball to Taz and he passes the ball to Michael. He runs for the hoop but Pound, Bang, Bupkus, and Nawt block his way as they start to taunt him.]
:Bupkus: [Taunting] Come on, come on show me something.
:Nawt: Whatcha got?
:[Michael tries to shoot but Pound keeps blocking his way, so he passes the ball to Daffy.]
:Daffy: [Catches the ball] Whoops!
:Bupkus: [Pointing at Daffy] The duck!
:Pound: Yeah beat up on the duck man!
:[Daffy gets scared and looks around, the Monstars charge at him. Without thinking Daffy passes the ball to Granny who is sitting on the bench with Stan. Granny catches the ball and gets scared as the Monstars see her and charged at her, the Monstars jump on Granny and Stan. Michael see this and Granny got hurt.]
:Granny: [Dizzy seeing birds] Oh my.
:Daffy: [To Lola who is glaring at him smiling] She was wide open!
:[Lola shook her head and walked away. Its the Monstars ball, Pound passes the ball to Nawt, he dribbles it Lola tried to stop him, but Nawt spins past her and passes the ball to Bupkus. Then Bupkus slam dunks, earning two more points. Michael has the ball and he runs through the court, dribbling through the court.]
:Nawt: [Trying to block Michael] Watch the screen. Coming your way. Coming your way. Watch out!
:Bang: Come on get him!
:[Pound and Bang tried to stop Michael but he jumps and slam dunks. He scores the first points for the Tune Squad. At Swackhammer's stand the Nerdluck slaves gave Mr. Swackhammer a massage and sees Michael scored.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Surprised] How did he do that? [Slam his fist down angrily]
:[Back on the court, the Monstars has the ball. Porky runs up to Michael.]
:Porky: Er, nice shot, Mr. Jordan.
:Michael Jordan: [Sees Nawt with ball] Hey, Hey, Hey come on. Get back on defense!
:[Nawt passes the ball to Bupkus and he slams it to the hoop earning two more point.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Cheering] Way to go!
:Bugs: MJ! MJ! [Passing the ball to Michael and he catches it, he looks up to see the Monstars staring down at him]
:Monstars: Red light!
:Tweety: Feed me! Feed me!
:Sylvester: [Grabbing Tweety] Feed you? Feed me! [Puts Tweety in his mouth, Michael passes the ball to Sylvester, hitting his stomach which made him spit out Tweety.]
:Tweety: [Lands on the ground] Bad ol' putty tat!
:Pound: [Picking up the ball] I'll take that, thank you. [Runs up to the hoop] Don't try this at home! [Jumps up and slam dunks it.]
:Foghorn: [Singing while dribbling the ball] I wish I was in the land of cotton.
:Bang: [Blocking Foghorn's way] You going somewhere?
:Foghorn: May I remind you. sir, that physical violence is paitiently against- [Before he could finish, Bang leaned back then breathed fire like a dragon and burns Foghorn to crisp.]
:Foghorn: [Quoting the old KFC saying] Did you order the original recipe or extra crispy? [Dissolves into ashes as Bang looks on smiling meanly.]
:[The buzzer goes off and it goes to the second period. Michael goes to the bench to pick out another player. He looks around and picks one.]
:Elizabeth William: Let's go.
:Bumble: [Happily] Me? [Running to the court] Oh boy! I'm ready! I can can do this!
:John Garcia: [Confused] Bee? You picked the bee?
:[The disney laugh at this. Bumble went to Blanko, he looks at Bumble while holding the ball in his hands. Bumble stops to talk to Blanko.]
:Bumble: I love basketball. I've always loved basketball. Do you love basketball?
:Blanko: Uh-huh.
:Bumble: [Continuing] You're big but you're pretty good at basketball. I'm small, but I'll try really hard at playing basketball. Really I will.
:Blanko: [Listening to Bumble] Right. Okay. Yeah
:Bumble: And my mom always says. "Try your best in everything you-
:[Before Bumble could finish Blanko drops the ball on him which causes the crowd to gasp in shock. Minnie has the ball and she dirbbles it to the hoop, but Pound and Bang get in her way.]
:Pound: [Jeering] Try to get by me, doll!
:Lola: Doll?
:[Lola jumps up and dribbles Pound's face with her feet, Pound reacts in surprise upon seeing her slam dunk along with Bang. She scored and the Tunes cheer for her.]
:Lola: Don't ever call me... [Blows the ears out of her face] doll. [Pound looks at her dumbfounded]
:Bugs: [High fives Lola] Nice shot!
:Lola: Thanks Bugs.
:Bupkus: [Confused seeing Michael block him] Hmm?
:Pound: [To Michael] Where's your defense, boy? [Grabs and spins Michael around] I gotcha right here!
:Bupkus: [Jumping up to the hoop] 911! [Slam dunks and earned two more points]
:[At Swackhammer's stand his Nerdluck slaves serve him food and Swackhammer doesn't notice he smiled and chuckled evilly as he watched the Monstars score.]
:Nerdluck Slave: [Serving Swackhammer food] Piece of pie? Pork chop? Some sorbet perhaps?
:Bang: [Slam dunking the ball] In your face! [The crowd boos as the Monstars continue to score and on the scoreboard on the Monstars' side is going up like a casino machine and it says "Kinda one-sided, isn't it?" then Pound jumps up letting out a yell and makes one more slam dunk before the time runs out.]
:Marvin: [Shooting his laser gun] Half time. [He turns to see Sylvester coughing and he sees there's a hole in his chest.]
:Tweety: [Flying through a hole] Holy putty tat! [Sylvester felt annoyed.]
:[The Tunes get sad, thinking they'll lose. The Monstars celebrate their first half victory as they high five each other.]
:Bupkus: Yeah man. we got it going. One more half.
:Pound: Right man. We got em.
:Sylvester: [Sadly] Moron Mountain, here we come.
:Elmer: We're gonna be slaves.
:Michael Jordan: Come on guys, keep your heads up, we got another half to play.
:[As the tunes and Michael go to their locker room, Stan stops as he sees the Monstars go to their locker room. He decided to find out how they got big in the first place, he follows them to their locker room. The Monstars charge into their locker room, Pound falls on the floor and Blanko steps on his head but he didn't mind he gets up and joined his friends. Bang and Bupkus high five each other as they laugh, Bang pulls Pound into a noogie, but their celebration was cut short they felt shocked upon seeing their boss.]
:Bupkus: It's the boss! [Mr. Swackhammer lights his cigar.]
:Monstars: Hello, Mr. Swackhammer.
:Mr. Swackhammer: All right, not bad for the first half, but we got to keep this up.
:Pound: [Gleefully, shrugging] Hey, no problem. We stole the- [Before he could finish, Nawt interrupted]
:Nawt: [Talking fast to Swackhammer] We stole the talent boss from the best players of the NBA. :[Grabbing Swackhammer's lapels]
:[Stan is hiding in the big locker and overheard what Nawt said to Swackhammer]
:Stan Podolak: [Shocked and Softly] From the NBA?
:Nawt: [Continuing] It was then uh, uh, uh Grandmama, wasn't it Larry Johnson?
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Annoyed, shoving Nawt away] Shut up! [Sniffs the air] I smell something.
:Blanko: [Sniffing his armpit, thinking it was him] Uh, We have been playing really hard.
:Monstars: [Agreeing with Blanko] Yeah!
:Mr. Swackhammer: [To Blanko] Not you, idiot! [Looks over to the lockers] It’s coming from over here.
:[Stan's eyes widen with fear knowing they can smell him, he sees Blanko outside and sniffs the locker.]
:Pound: That locker!
:Monstars: [Agreeing with Pound] Yeah!
:[Blanko pulls and breaks the locker open. They all gather around him and look at him menacingly.]
:Bang: [Pointing at Stan] Look!
:Stan Podolak: [Crying scared] Don't!
:Bang: It’s the chubby boy!
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Pushing Pound and Bang aside and sees Stan] Ah, it smells like a spy.
:Stan Podolak: [Chuckling nervously] You guys need a publicist? I can make you big. [Squeaks fearfully as they corner him.]
==Michael's Secret Stuff==
:[In the Tune Squad's locker room they're still feeling sad about losing, but Michael is not giving up.]
:Michael Jordan: Look I know we're down.
:Daffy: [Sarcastically] Oh yeah, let's hear the story.
:Michael Jordan: But I've been in this situation many times before.
:Daffy: Oh this is a piece of work.
:Michael Jordan: We can still win this thing. Its not over with. We gotta come together.
:Daffy: [Rolling his eyes] Oh yeah.
:Michael Jordan: We gotta believe in ourselves. We can come back and win this game.
:Daffy: [Bored] Yeah, right. that's gonna help us.
:[They hear knocking on the door, they turn to see Stan who is charred and he moaned in pain.]
:Daffy: Looks like Stan just had a close encounter with a bug zapper.
:Stan Podolak: [Walking in] The Monstars! The Monstars! [Coughing]
:[Michael and the tunes look at him with sorrow and Stan falls on the floor.]
:Lola: Oh, my!
:Daffy: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
:Michael Jordan: [Helping Stan up with Bugs] You all right, Stan?
:Stan Podolak: The Monstars! The Monstars... stole the talent from the NBA players!
:[The tunes gasp in shock as Stan sits down and they groan in worry.]
:Michael Jordan: [Realizing] So that's what happened to those guys.
:Porky: I think we should qui-qui- forfeit.
:Looney Tunes: [Agreeing with Porky] Yeah!
:Michael Jordan: [To Porky] Listen I didn't get dragged down, just to get my butt whipped by a bunch of ugly Monstars. I ain't going out like that. We're letting them push us around!
:[Bugs humming filling a bottle with water from the sink and writes words on a note on it.]
:Michael Jordan: [Continuing] We gotta fight em back! We gotta take it to them! We gotta get right in their faces! Now what do you say? Are you with me or not?
:[The tunes fell asleep except Bugs, he walks to Michael while shaking the water bottle.]
:Bugs: Eh, finished? Eh, great speech and all, doc. Eh, you had them riveted. But, uh didn't you forget something?
:Michael Jordan: What?
:Bugs: [Showing Michael a bottle that says "Michael's Secret Stuff"] Your secret stuff.
:[Bugs drinks the water and the tunes woke up feeling surprised and see Bugs as muscled man he moves around flexing them and rips his jersey. The tunes felt impressed.]
:Lola: [Awed] Wow!
:Daffy: [Impressed] Whoa, nice deltoids!
:Bugs: [Winking and Flexing] Play along!
:[Michael takes the bottle and looks at it. Then Bugs grabs it and tries to get it away from Michael.]
:Bugs: Eh, stop hogging it Mike. We're your teammates.
:[The bottle went flying to Porky and drinks it.]
:Elmer: "Secwet" stuff?
:Daffy: Secret stuff?
:Sylvester: You wouldn't hold out on us, would you?
:Michael Jordan: No. I mean, I didn't think you guys really needed it. i mean you're so tough and competitive.
:Foghorn: We're also chicken son. [To Sylvester and Wylie who are fighting over the bottle] We need it bad. [Drinks the water]
:Sylvester: Hey!
:[Foghorn then passes it to Daffy.]
:Stan Podolak: [Stands up] Uh, I'd like a sip of that.
:Daffy: [Catches the bottle] Yeah!
:Lola: Could I have a sip please?
:Daffy: You know, this goes against to everything they taught me in health class.
:Michael Jordan: [Looking at Daffy] Do you wanna win or not?
:Daffy: Bottoms up. [Drinks the water and gives it to Stan] Yummy.
:Michael Jordan: All right, how about we go out and kick some alien butt huh? [Michael and the tunes all put their hands together] Let's go. All right. Ready?
:Looney Tunes: Yeah!
:[They jump up and head out the door. Stan tries to drink the secret stuff, but its already empty.]
==Second half of the game/Michael Jordan's deal with Mr. Swackhammer==
:[Michael and the tunes run out and onto the court. The crowd cheers loudly as they see the team. Bang and Daffy growl at each other. Taz leans in close to camera, and Porky growls with Bupkus. They are ready for comeback. It's the Monstar's ball and Bang passes the ball to Pound.]
:Pound: Open! [Catching the ball and exclaimed, Bugs is riding the motorcycle and dressed like a mailman.]
:Bugs: [Stealing the ball] Coming through!
:Pound: [Surprised] Whoa!
:Michael Jordan: [Running while Nawt runs after him] Bugs! [Bugs stops and holds the ball]
:Bugs: [Throwing the ball to Michael] Special delivery!
:[Michael slam dunks and scores the tunes cheer.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Sees the scoreboard and gets grumpy] No! Boo!
:[Bupkus has the ball and dribbled it a few times, he jumped up in the air and he prepared to slam dunk but suddenly his eyes widen with shock he sees the hoop full of rockets and explosive devices. He stopped and whined with fear and he looks at the audience, and then they explode. Bugs and Wile E. were the ones who set them off.]
:Bugs: Eh, nice kaboom, Wile E. [Wile E. smiles]
:[Then Bupkus angrily grabbed Wile E and pulls him to his face showing his teeth. But before he could do anything, his teeth were shot off. Elmer and Yosemite wear black suits, wearing sunglasses and have two pistols pointing at Bupkus. Elmer and Yosmite look at each other and back at Bupkus then they shoot off his last set of his teeth. Michael has the ball he dribbles it, trying to dodge Bang, Nawt, and Bupkus they tried to catch Michael but failed. Michael throws the ball into the hoop, earning two more points for the team and the crowd cheers. It's the Monstars ball. Blanko passes the ball to the Pound.]
:Pound: [To Nawt and Bang] Let's teach 'em a lesson. [Running to the hoop]
:[As they run, Sylvester appeared with a fishing pole and he swung the pole and catches Pound's shorts and pulled them off. Blanko looks at Pound shocked, Pound stops and sees that his shorts are gone and he's butt-naked.]
:Pound: [Covering his shorts with his jersey] Hey! What-- [Smiling and blushing with embarrassment]
:Lola: [Taunting Pound] Nice butt!
:[The crowd laughs at Pound, Michael just smiled with amusement and gets back in the game. Taz has the ball and slam dunks it. Michael has the ball next and heads for the hoop Pound and Bupkus tried to catch him but failed and Michael slam dunked. Foghorn and Sylvester lift Porky, he has the ball and Pound goes after him.]
:Porky: Er, going up.
:Pound: You're mine boy. [Porky slams the ball into the hoop and Pound gets hit in the face with the ball]
:[Stan, Granny and Witch Hazel are getting excited that the team is catching up.]
:Granny: Slam me!
:Stan Podolak: [Slapping her left hand] Yeah! How's that? [Granny falls from the bench]
:[Nawt, Pound, and Bang are charging in with the ball hoping to score. But then Michael holds up Pepe, while he, Bugs, Foghorn and Tweety are wearing gas-masks.]
:Pepe Le Pew: Hello! A little surprise for you, my friends. [Chuckles]
:[Bupkus, Bang, and Blanko sniffed the bad smell they gasped and fainted.]
:Pepe Le Pew: [Chuckling and kissing the ball into the hoop] Two points.
:[Michael jumps in the air, Pound and Nawt growled trying to stop him, he slam dunked the ball in the hoop hitting Nawt in the head. Michael has the ball, Bang tried to catch the ball but tripped over his own feet and Michael shoots into the hoop.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Furiously] Dang!
:Donald: [Painting Pound's shorts red] Ooh, this will be good.
:[Donald pointed at his shorts for the crowd and they all laugh at this. Then Ajax the Gorilla in the stands, sees the red painted shorts and everyone looks at him as the bullring fanfare comes on. He snorts and growls angrily. He jumps off the stands, running to Pound with his horns. Baloo and Pinocchio jump out of the way as Donald moves out of the way. Pound felt scared and he turns his head to see Ajax coming at him with his horns down. Ajax then hits Pound's butt and Pound goes flying above the air screaming in pain.]
:Crowd: Ole!
:[Tweety is flying around and the Monstars surround him.]
:Bang: Okay, birdie.
:Tweety: Uh-oh. [The Monstars show him their teeth about to hurt him]
:[Tweety had enough of getting picked on and he lets a karate yell. The Monstars gasp in shock, then Tweety punched Pound and Bupkus, then punched Bang in the stomach. He twisted Blanko's neck, then he bites Pound's ear which causes him to yell in pain. Then he pulled Bupkus's hair and pulled it off, then he kicks Bang's chin and falls on the floor. Elmer jumps in the air and slam dunked the ball into the hoop. The crowd and the team cheered loudly.]
:Michael Jordan: Yes!
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Fed up, shouting] Time out!
:[Swackhammer angrily walks down the stands and goes to court. Marvin blows the whistle, trying to stop him.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Grabbing Marvin] Shut up, you little bug. Get away from me. Pow-wow.
:[Michael and the tunes head for the bench giving each other high fives.]
:Michael Jordan: All right guys, We're right back in this game. Come on now. Let's play some tough defense.
:[Looney Tunes agreeing with Michael]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Furiously to the Monstars, pointing at Michael] Why didn't you get this guy?
:Bupkus: He's a baseball player.
:Nawt: [Agreeing with Bupkus] Yeah, boss a baseball player.
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Dryly] Looks like a basketball player to me.
:Blanko: Yeah, me too.
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Shushing Blanko] He's the one I want for Moron Mountain.
:[Michael and Bugs overheard everything what Swackhammer said and had enough.]
:Michael Jordan: [Angrily] Hey! [This got Swackhammer's attention and turns to face him.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: Are you talking to me?
:Michael Jordan: Yeah I'm talking to you, you want a piece of me? Come and get it.
:[Swackhammer smiled and chuckled evilly and walks up to Michael.]
:Bupkus: [Smirking] Uh-oh.
:Mr. Swackhammer: What do you have in mind?
:Michael Jordan: What about we raise the stakes a little bit?
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Puffing on his cigar] Hmm. Interesting.
:Michael Jordan: If we win, you give the NBA players their talent back.
:Mr. Swackhammer: But what if we win?
:Michael Jordan: If you win?
:Mr. Swackhammer: Uh-huh.
:Michael Jordan: [Firmly] You get me.
:Pound: [Smiling gleefully] Good deal boss. [He and the other Monstars laugh with evil glee.]
:Bugs: [Nervously] Eh doc do you think its a good idea? [Michael placed his hand on Bugs mouth silencing him.]
:[Swackhammer blows smoke from his cigar and shows Michael images of him being on Moron Mountain.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: You'll be our star attraction. You'll sign autographs all day long... and play one on one with the paying customers. [A kid alien shoots a ball and cheered happily which shocks Michael.] And you'll always lose. [A kid alien blows a raspberry at Michael and the images end, Michael looks back to Swackhammer.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Smirking evilly] Do we have a deal?
:Michael Jordan: [Holding out his hand] Deal. [Swackhammer chuckles and shakes his hand with Michael.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: All right! [Then they both go back to their teams and Bugs follows Michael]
:Bugs: I don't think you should've done that doc.
:Michael Jordan: [Assuring Bugs] I have faith in my team.
:[At the Monstars side the camera pans slowly to Swackhammer's face glaring evilly at the Monstars.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: Crush 'em!
==Monstar mash/Fifth player==
:[Back on the court, Marvin blows the whistle and Wile E has the ball running down the court and dribbling the ball. Pound, Nawt, and Bang charge at him]
:Pound: Defeating time, boys!
:[Wile E's eye widen with fear and gets hit hard, his body was broken to pieces. His arms and legs landed on the floor and one of his arms holds up a sign that says "Ouch!".]
:Porky: [Stuttering fearfully] Ya, gee--[Bang and Bupkus butt-slamed Porky, making him flat.]
:Pound: [Stepping on Sylvester who has the ball] Goodbye!
:[Michael has the ball. He tries to get past Pound and Bupkus, but then Pound backhands Michael in the head smiling meanly. Elmer tried to score but Bupkus elbows him down to the floor. Foghorn has the ball, running to the hoop but Bupkus hits him with the back of his fist and Nawt kicks Taz. Bupkus uses Tweety as a golf ball and uses Foghorn as a golf club.]
:Bupkus: Fore! [Hitting Tweety]
:[Tweety screams as he goes flying in the air, he landed hard on the bench where Granny, Dawg, Sylvester, and Taz look at him with sorrow. Daffy looks and sees Bupkus behind him and he smashed Daffy with his hand. He lifts up his hand and sees Daffy stuck to his hand.]
:Daffy: [Dizzy] But, mommy, I don't want to school today.
:[Pound has the ball and he elbowed Michael glaring nastily at him.]
:Daffy: [Hugging Bupkus's face] I want to stay home and bake cookies with you.
:[An annoyed Bupkus pulled Daffy off his face, then he got his face misplaced. Pound climbs up the hoop backboard smiling.]
:Pound: [Chuckling] This is gonna be fun. [Jumps off]
:Lola: I'm open, I'm open.
:Bugs: Lola, Lola, heads up.
:[Lola turns around and sees Pound doing a belly flop and he's about to crush her.]
:Pound: Belly flop!
:Bugs: Look out! [Bugs pushed Lola out of the way and he gets crushed instead. Lola rolled around and felt shocked seeing Bugs crushed by Pound.]
:Lola: [Gasps] Oh my! [Crowd gasped in horror and she screams runs to Pound.] Bugs!
:Pound: [Mockingly] Is this your man? [Gets off Bugs and walks away chuckling]
:[Bugs is flat and is twisting in pain, then he becomes un-flat. Lola runs to Bugs kneeling down to check on him.]
:Lola: [Worried] Are you okay?
:Bugs: Me? Oh, yeah I'm fine. Are you okay?
:Lola: [Smiling] Oh, Bugs, thank you.
:Bugs: Aw. it was nothing.
:Lola: That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. [Kisses Bugs and walks away leaving Bugs blushing with awe.]
:Michael Jordan: Time-out.
:[At the bench the tunes are injured really badly. Wile E has casts on three of his limp and holds up a sign that says "Extreme pain!". Sam is charred and moaning in pain, Sylvester has a big cast around his body. Speedy is stuck in the mouse trap. Elmer is in a straight jacket.]
:Elmer: [feeling dizzy] The Monstars. The Monstars.
:[Foghorn has turned into a turkey and hooked up to I.V. Granny has a cast around her neck and she is in a wheelchair. Taz is out cold and Witch Hazel is giving him electric pads to revive him.]
:Witch Hazel: Clear! [The pads shock Taz and he twitches around there are words on his chest that says "Eat at Joe's".]
:[Tweety is laying next to a machine that says "Acme, iron lung." Michael is pacing back and forth thinking.]
:Michael Jordan: Okay, we need a fifth player.
:Daffy: Hey coach, listen. You got anymore of that secret stuff? [Flexing the muscles then deflates] I think it's starting to wear off.
:Michael Jordan: It didn't wear off. It was just water. You guys had that special stuff inside of you all along.
:Daffy: [Nodding] Yeah, yeah I knew that. But listen you got anymore?
:Lola: Yeah I'll take double.
:Porky: Er, can I have some too? [Beaky Buzzard who is bandaged nods to Michael]
:[Michael rolled his eyes then he looks at Stan and he decides to have him as fifth player.]
:Michael Jordan: Stan?
:Stan Podolak: Yeah? Uh, me?
:Michael Jordan: You're in that center. [Stan smiled and chuckles happily] Just guard the big guy okay?
:Stan Podolak: [Taking off his jacket] Guard him? Guard him? I'll smother him! I'll be all over him like a cheap suit! I'll be on him like stink on rice! I tell you he's going down! [he falls down]
:[The game resumes and Marvin passes the ball to Lola and she passed to Michael. Michael dribbled the ball and the Monstars charge at him and surround him trying to steal the ball. Stan runs to position.]
:Stan Podolak: [Calling to Michael] Michael, over here. Over here, over here I'm open, I'm open! [Michael throws the ball to Stan]
:[Stan catches the ball, he looks up to see Bang roaring and jumping on him. Before Stan can move he gets crushed by Bang then Bupkus, Blanko, and Pound dogpile on Stan. The ball slips out of Stan's hands, it flies to the hoop and scored three points.]
:Michael Jordan: Yes! [The crowd cheered]
:Nerdluck Slave: [Cheering] Nice sho! [Swackhammer slams his hand down to the nerdluck and he is not happy about it.]
:Pound: [Getting off Stan as the others get off] Big man pancake!
:Blanko: Hey no fair. [The Monstars walk away from Stan who is flat as a pancake]
:Bugs, Lola, Daffy: Ooh!
:[Two medical dogs approach Stan with a bed.]
:Little Medical Dog: Let's get him out of here!
:[The little medical dog puts an air hose in Stan's mouth and they pump him up like a balloon. The big medical dog pulls the hose out of Stan's mouth. He makes a farting noise as he deflates the air out of him flying through the ceiling.]
:Lola: [Disgusted holding her nose] Eww! [The Nerdluck slaves groan in disgust]
:Pepe Le Pew: [Putting a clothes pin on his nose] Oh, my.
:[Stan lands on the bed and he's back to his normal self. The crowd applauded as Michael looks on the dogs wheeled Stan away.]
:Michael Jordan: How'd he do that?
:Bugs: Aw, anybody could do that doc. Even you. Watch this. [Grabbing Daffy's neck]
:Daffy: [Choking] Watch what? [Bugs stretches Daffy's neck] See? No sweat. This is Looney Tune Land.
:[Michael understood Daffy and he sees the time, They only have ten seconds left.]
:Michael Jordan: Ten seconds ago? Thanks for telling me doc.
:Marvin: [Worried] I hate to the bearer of bad news, your airness, but if you don't find a fifth player, your team will forfeit the game.
:Michael Jordan: Forfeit?
:Marvin: [Nodding] Precisely, sir altitude.
:Michael Jordan: No way. We'll find someone.
:[Bill Murray arrived and hums fanfare he wears a Tune Squad uniform and a red shirt. The crowd cheers loudly, Michael and his friends are surprised to see him.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: (Surprised jumping from his seat) Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't know Dan Aykroyd was in this picture!
:Bill Murray: Hey! Perhaps, I could be of some assistance.
:Michael Jordan: (Smiling) That's our fifth guy. (Bill walks up to them and gives Michael a high five) Thanks Bill. Now you get to live up your dream. Let's go.
:Bill Murray: All right.
:Michael Jordan: All right, we need to score two points...
:Bill Murray: Here's how I see it. (To Daffy) Duck?
:Daffy: Yes.
:Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny down in the post.
:Lola: Yeah?
:Bill Murray: You dish it back out to the guy bunny.
:Lola: (Seriously) Got it!
:Bill Murray: You swing it to Mike over here. You go to the hole and dominate.
:Michael Jordan: Bill, we're on defense.
:Bugs: (Agreeing with Michael) Oh yeah.
:Bill Murray: Whoa, ho, ho, I don't play defense.
:Michael Jordan: Typical.
:Bill Murray: All right. You're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys. Listen up.
:Michael Jordan: Somebody steal the ball, get it to me, and I'll score before the time runs out.
:Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence. OK! Paws and wings in here! All right!
:(They head back on the court and the crowd cheered.)
:Bill Murray: This is why I was born. I thrive on pressure.
:Daffy: (Tugging Bill's shorts) Excuse me. Uh sorry.
:Bill Murray: Yo, yo Easy on the trousers, Daff easy man.
:Daffy Duck: Pardon me. Um, Mr Murray, something's really been bugging me.
:Bill Murray: Yeah?
:Daffy: Just how did you get here anyway? (Pound stops to look at Bill Murray)
:Bill Murray: Producer's a friend of mine. Just had a teamster come and drop me off, you know. (Pound rolled his eyes while listening, he growled and shakes his head in annoyance)
:Daffy Duck: Uh-huh. Well that's how it goes.
:Bill Murray: You see this uh, kind of chunky fellow over here? (Sees Pound making a face and chuckling rudely at Lola)
:Daffy: (Sees Pound and nods his head) Uh-huh.
:(Bill whispers into Daffy's ear which gave him the idea.)
:Daffy: Ooh. Ooh, that's good. Oh yes.
:Bill Murray: All right. Let's do it. You're the duck.
:(They get ready for the last game before the final seconds of the game.)
==Final shot of the game/Mr. Swackhammer's defeat==
:[It's the Monstars ball and Marvin gives the ball to Bupkus.]
:Marvin: Now, let's all play fair. Here.
:[Bupkus take the ball and elbows Marvin. He gets ready for action.]
:Bill Murray: Yo, spaceman, don't choke now. Come on. Come on, come on.
:[As Bupkus, gets ready, Daffy puts on a football helmet.]
:Daffy: It's gut-check time! [He jerked his legs back and forth like a bullet.]
:[Bupkus throws the ball to Pound and Daffy launches at him. As Pound catches the ball, and Daffy hits his stomach hard and Pound drops the ball. Bang and Blanko watch the ball dribble to Bill.]
:Bill Murray: This must be mine. [As he dribbles the ball, Pound pushes Daffy out of his stomach, holding in pain.] Whoo-hoo! This belongs to me. I'm going left! I'm going left! [Passes the ball to Michael and Pound goes after Bill.] Whoa! Don't ever trust an earthling!
:[Michael dribbles the ball, trying to get past Nawt. He sees the time and they're eight seconds left.]
:Lola: Mike!
:[Michael throws the ball to Lola, she dribbles it and she gets surrounded by Bang and Blanko.]
:Bang: Get the rabbit! Get the girl!
:Daffy: [Jumping] Come on! Come on! [Lola passes the ball] I'm open! I'm ope! [Bupkus hits Daffy with his hand and reaches for the ball]
:Bupkus: That's mine!
:Bugs: [Grabs the ball with his ears and throws it Bill] Not today!
:Bupkus: Hey!
:[Bills catches the ball and Blanko approaches him.]
:Blanko: Bring it on, dude.
:Bill Murray: [Trips Blanko] Whoopsie-daisy. Whoo-hoo.
:[Bill passes the ball to Michael and he heads for the hoop. Bang is running behind Michael and Pound comes charging at Michael.]
:Pound: You're mine!
:[Pound and Bang growled as he's about to grab Michael, but he slipped and falls on the floor. Michael steps on Pound's head which causes him to groan in pain. He climbs up to Pound's butt and then he jumps up and flies to the hoop as the crowd roars.]
:Bill Murray: Mike, I'm open! [A shocked Pound see's Michael in the air] Never mind.
:[Time slows down as Michael flies to the hoop, getting ready to score. Bang and Bupkus roar and they jump up, grabbing Michael to stop him. Michael begin to stretch his arm, reaching for the hoop and he is preparing to slam dunk. Bang and Bupkus look on in shock knowing they're gonna lose. Michael slam dunks the ball into the hoop and the horn blows. The crowd cheers wildly, Swackhammer yells in rage. The tunes cheer for their big victory of the game. Bugs and Lola hug each other, Bill laughs joyfully and runs to Michael. Michael lets go of the hoop and lands on his feet.]
:Hubie: The Tunes win!
:[The tunes run up to each to other and they give each high fives and hugs. Pepe hugged and kissed Granny. Michael and Bill talk in private as the tunes celebrate their victory.]
:Michael Jordan: That was a nice pass, man.
:Bill Murray: That was a great stretch for the basket, too.
:Michael Jordan: You know, you really got some skills. You might be able to play in the NBA.
:Bill Murray: Thanks, Mike. I'll probably quote you on that. But I'm gonna take this opportunity to retire from the game of basketball.
:Michael Jordan: [Puts his hand on Bill's shoulder] No. Come on.
:Bill Murray: No! No! I'm gonna retire right now, and that's all there is to it. I'm gonna go on top, undefeated and untied. That's the way it"s gonna be. You go on ahead and celebrate with your teammates.
:Michael Jordan: No, come on and help us. Celebrate with us.
:Bill Murray: I'd like to, but I have to ice down my knees right away, OK? They're starting to go.
:Michael Jordan: All right. Good-bye man.
:Bill Murray: All right. See ya. [Walks away]
:Michael Jordan: Are you sure?
:Bill Murray: Yes! Definitely sure. Definitely. [Leaving the court]
:[Swackhammer is furious at the Monstars for losing the game.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: Losers!
:Monstars: Sorry.
:Mr. Swackhammer: Choke artists!
:Monstars: Sorry again.
:Mr. Swackhammer: Wait until I get you back on Moron Mountain. [Michael walks over to the Monstars as Swackhammer stomps on Bupkus's foot in anger, which causes him to howl in pain.] [To the Tunes] All right. The party's over. Get in the spaceship.
:Michael Jordan: [To the Monstars] Why do you take it from this guy?
:Bupkus: [Scared] Because he's bigger.
:Pound: [Raising an eyebrow] He's bigger.
:Bang: [Figuring it out slowly] Than we used...to be.
:Monstars: [Finally realizing that they're now bigger than he is] Wait a minute. [Then they turn to Swackhammer glaring angrily at him. Swackhammer feels something is not right.]
:Mr. Swackhammer: [Nervously] What are you doing?
:[The Monstars reach for him, grabbed him and dragged him through the court.]
:Bupkus: Come here!
:Mr. Swackhammer: Hey! Wait! What are you dong? Wait! Let go!
:[The Monstars ignore him as Michael looks on with interest. The Monstars laugh as they put Swackhammer in a rocket, Bugs and Wile E smiled. The rocket takes off and heads for the ceiling as the Monstars wave good-bye to their new ex boss. Outside the arena, the rocket blasts through the ceiling and it heads for space. Swackhammer screams as he zooms fast as he heads for the moon and he lands it on.]
==Monstars become Nerdlucks again/Michael Jordan returns to the real world==
:[Back in the arena, the crowd and the tunes cheered. Michael smiled at the Monstars.]
:Michael Jordan: [Proudly] Had it in you all the time, didn't you?
:[The Monstars smiled warmly and blushed, Pound smiled while shrugging, Bang pointed his chin while blushing and smiling, Bupkus smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, Blanko placed his hand on his face to hide his blush, and Nawt smiled giving a thumbs up sign.]
:Monstars: Aww.
:Michael Jordan: One thing though. [To Bugs] Pass me the ball, Bugs. [Bugs passes the ball to him and Michael turned back to the Monstars] You gotta give my friends their talent back.
:Monstars: [Shocked] What?
:Pound: [Sadly] Do we have to? [Shrugging]
:Michael Jordan: [Nodding] Yeah, it's part of the deal, touch the ball.
:Monstars: [Disappointed] Awww. [They sadly look at each other, they don't know what to say but they knew they can't keep the talent forever, so they decided to return the talent.]
:Bupkus: [Sighing sadly] Oh, okay. [Places his hand on the ball while Bang and Blanko place their hands on the ball.]
:Blanko: Uh, fair is fair. [Pound placed his hand on the ball touching Michael's fingers while Nawt looks for a empty spot.]
:Michael Jordan: There you go. Touch it. [Nawt placed his hand on the ball.]
:[As the Monstars are convinced and touch the ball, they begin shake and twitch. The talent begins to leave their bodies and it went inside the ball. Then they start to shrink down back to their small size. Their jerseys, shorts and shoes are still the same size from their Monstars forms. They're small Nerdlucks again, they pop out from their jerseys.]
:Bupkus: That was so much fun.
:Bang: [Sadly] I feel so insignificant.
:Pound: [Frowning, while looking at his jersey] My clothes don't fit.
:Nawt: What a trip.
:Blanko: [Chuckling] I'm up for another one.
:Pound: [Sweetly, walking up to Bugs] Can we ask you a favor, Mr. Bunny? We don't want to go back to Moron Mountain.
:Bang: We hate it up there.
:Nawt: [Showing a thumbs down] It stinks.
:Blanko: Um, I was thinking, could we stay here with you?
:Nerdlucks: [Sweetly and showing friendly smiles] Please?
:Daffy: [Rolling his eyes] Oh, brother.
:Bugs: Eh, I don't know if you guys are looney enough.
:Bang: [Shocked] Looney enough?
:[Then the Nerdlucks put on the Looney Tunes costumes acting like them, being funny. They hum the Looney Tunes theme song. Michael and the toons look on. Then Nawt shoots them and their eyeballs bounce on the floor.]
:[Stan runs in with Michael's basketball bag.]
:Stan Podolak: Michael! Michael! Do you know what time it is?
:Porky: [Looks at his watches] Er, 7:15, er, 7: 15, er quarter past seven.
:Stan Podolak: Exactly. You've got a baseball game in 5 minutes.
:Michael Jordan: [Hands him the ball] Okay. Take this.
:Stan Podolak: [Looks at the ball] Is it safe?
:Michael Jordan: Yeah. Put it in my bag.
:[Stan takes the ball and puts it in the bag. Michael talks to the tunes.]
:Michael Jordan: I really enjoyed playing with you guys. You guys got a lot of, uh..
:Looney Tunes: Huh?
:Michael Jordan: A a lot of, uh...
:Looney Tunes: Yes?
:Michael Jordan: Well, whatever it is, you got a lot of it.
:[The tunes felt happy about what Michael said.]
:Michael Jordan: All right, gotta go. Bugs?
:Bugs: Eh, Mike?
:Michael Jordan: Stay out of trouble. [Walks away]
:Bugs: [To Lola] You know I will. [Lola giggling] Come here!
:[He grabs Lola and kisses her on the lips. She whoops joyfully, she pulls down the scene showing the Baron's field. Michael's baseball game is on and the crowd is chanting, "We want Michael!"]
:Baron's Manager: The delay is killing us. Where is Michael?
:[In another part of the stand, where Michael's family is Juanita is worried about her husband, but the kids know where he is.]
:Juanita Jordan: Where is Michael?
:Jeffrey Jordan: Oh. He's not back from his other game.
:Juanita Jordan: What other game?
:Jasmine Jordan: Shh!
:Juanita Jordan: Uh-uh. What other game.
:[Before Jeff could answer, the Nerdluck's spaceship appears from the sky and heads for the field. Everyone stops chanting and they gasp as the ship prepares to land. Michael's family get up and watch. The ship is landing on the field and the ship's door opens, the ramp comes down. Stan comes out with a bullhorn and everyone looks at him.]
:Stan Podolak: [Speaks through the bullhorn] Ladies and gentlemen! (The teams come to see) Michael Jordan!
:[Michael comes out of the ship wearing his baseball uniform, he walks onto the field, waving at the people. The crowd cheers loudly and Michael's family clap and cheer for him. Jeff gives him the thumbs up. Michael smilied that he's happy to be home.]
==Michael Jordan returns the stolen talent to the NBA players/Michael Jordan returns to basketball==
:[The next day in the gym, the five NBA players are practicing without their talent.]
:Charles Barkley: Guys...we suck. [Sits down]
:Larry Johnson: Yeah, man. My grandmother played better than I do.
:Muggsy Bogues: At least you guys are still tall. I'm nothing now. I'm just another short guy.
:Charles Barkley: You got that right.
:Larry Johnson: That's the only thing that's right.
:[As they talk, they turn to see Michael and Stan come in.]
:Patrick Ewing: Who's that?
:Larry Johnson: Who's that?
:Muggsy Bogues: I don't know.
:Michael Jordan: Been getting your butts kicked, haven't you?
:Muggsy Bogues: Who's that?
:Charles Barkley: It's Mike.
:Muggsy Bogues: What's up?
:[They all get up and walk up to Michael and Stan.]
:Patrick Ewing: Hey, man what are you doing here?
:Michael Jordan: Don't be embarrassed. Just face it. You guys stink.
:Larry Johnson: Come on, Mike lighten up.
:Michael Jordan: I know, and you all want your games back, huh? What little games you had to begin with.
:Shawn Bradley: It's hard enough as it is, Mike.
:Charles Barkley: Come on, give us a break.
:Michael Jordan: I'm gonna regret this. Stan, give me the ball.
:[Stan bends down and unzips the bag, showing them the ball that has their talent inside it. It's still glowing, they all look at it with awe as Michael holds the ball.]
:Larry Johnson: Look at that.
:Muggsy Bogues: Looks like something from Star Trek.
:Michael Jordan: Touch it.
:Shawn Bradley: [Shaking his head] No way. Jose.
:Michael Jordan: Pat, you want your talent back? You don't have any other choice. Just touch it.
:Patrick Ewing: I don't know, man.
:Larry Johnson: Don't touch that, man.
:Michael Jordan: Okay, you're gonna walk around with a bad game for the rest of the career. Touch the ball.
:Shawn Bradley: Be careful, Pat. We've tried everything else.
:[Patrick slowly reaches to touch the ball. He exhaled in relief, knowing nothing happend.]
:Patrick Ewing: Thank goodness.
:Michael Jordan: Come on, Charles. Touch it. The rest of you guys. Just touch it.
:[They all reach for the ball while they're touching it, the ball shakes their talents went back inside their bodies. They move their hands off the ball. Stan and Michael smiled at this.]
:Larry Johnson: Oh, man!
:Charles Barkley: What was that?
:[Michael passes the ball to Muggsy and he catches it. He was surprised that he can play again.]
:Muggsy Bogues: Hey. Hey, I caught it! [Dribbling the ball and doing the rock]
:Patrick Ewing: Hey, look at Muggsy handle the rock. Handle it baby.
:Muggsy Bogues: I can handle that rock again! [Passes the ball to Larry]
:Larry Johnson: That's the old Mugs I know.
:Patrick Ewing: Yeah, get height now. [Larry slam dunks the ball] Yeah!
:Larry Johnson: It gave me my powers back!
:Charles Barkley: [Takes the ball] That wasn't bad. Let me show you something.
:Larry Johnson: Let me see. [Charles slam dunks the ball] Whoo!
:Patrick Ewing: The round-mound is back [Takes the ball] You wanna see something? [Slam dunks the ball] Oh, man that felt good.
:Shawn Bradley: (Slam dunks the ball) I got it.
:Muggsy Bogues: You got it. Yeah, baby.
:(Michael and Stan smiled that they finally got their talents back and they're able to play basketball again. As they leave the five NBA players turn to see them leave.)
:Charles Barkley: Hey, Michael. Why don't you stay? Play some 3-on-3 with us.
:Michael Jordan: No. I don't think so.
:Charles Barkley: What are gonna do, work on that baseball swing?
:Patrick Ewing: Now leave the baseball player alone, man. You know he doesn't play basketball anymore.
:Shawn Bradley: You know, he probably doesn't have it anymore, guys.
:Stan Podolak: Michael, do you hear them? I don't think you can play the game anymore.
:[Michael smiles at his basketball friends and they smile back at him.]
:Michael Jordan: There's only one way to find out.
:[The camera switches to the Chicago Bull staduim and there is a big game.]
:Announcer on P.A.: The Chicago Bulls welcome back... Michael Jordan!
:[Michael is walking through the crowd of cameraman and reports. The crowd cheered loudly for him. A bull balloon is floating in the air and it has sign that says "Welcome back, Michael." The lights turn on and it's time for the basketball game. On the stands, Bill Murray and Larry Bird sit down and watch the game, Bill felt sad.]
:Larry Bird: [Concerned] What's the matter, Bill?
:Bill Murray: Larry, that could have been me.
:Larry Bird: Will you get off that kick? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
:Bill Murray: Okay. [Voice breaking] Let's go bulls!
:[The Bulls player steals the ball and passes it to Michael. He dribbles the ball down the court, he runs to the hoop and slam dunks the ball. The crowd cheered loudly and the camera freeze framed then the credits roll.]
=="That's all Folks!"==
:[After the credits come to a close, Bugs Bunny, who is in the iris of a Merrie Melodies bullseye, crumples the screen with the final credit and tosses it away.]
:Bugs Bunny: Well, Dat's all, Folks!
:Porky Pig: [pops up next to Bugs] Eh, th-th-th-that's my line! Th-th-th..
:Daffy Duck: [appears in-between Bugs and Porky] Step aside, babe! Let a star do this! THAT'S ALL- YEOW!
:[Daffy then gets knocked out of the iris by the Nerdlucks]
:The Nerdlucks: THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
:[Just then, Michael Jordan lifts up the bullseye outro]
:Michael Jordan: Can I go home now? [pulls bullseye rings back down]
:[After Michael pulls down the bullseye, in which Bugs, Porky and the Nerdlucks have vanished, the end title writes itself. Specificly saying as the screencap seen below reveals.]
::
Category:Movie Transcripts
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Category:Space Jam
Category:Walt Disney