Snail Amazing

Snail Amazing is the 8th episode of (pat)Rick Figures.
== Transcript ==
(Red is taking the trash out. He opens the dumpster.)
Cat: *Meow*
Red: Hey, cat, that's my trash! Get out of there!
Cat: *Meow*
(Red picks up the cat)
Red: Hoho what? Look at your cute cat face! You are soooooooft! What is your name? I don't even know! I'mma call you Kitty Amazing 'cause that's what you look like!
(Time lapse. Red is in the apartment showing Kitty Amazing to Blue, who is wearing shades.)
Blue: We are not keeping that cat.
Red: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
Blue: I can't even see what you're doing, you know I had eye surgery.
Red: Oh, man, I feel sorry for you because this cat is sooo cute! (The background turns dark and Red's eyes are completely white.) (Demonic voice): FEEL HOW CUTE SHE IS!!
(The background and Red's eyes turn back to normal. Blue touches Kitty Amazing.)
Blue: Ohhh, oh, yeah, it does feel soft... And strangely cold...
Red: Let's take this cat for a test drive!
Blue: What does that mean?
Red: It means chicas love gatos! (Marches out, carrying the cat.) Gatos! Gatos! Gatos! Gatos!
Blue: Red? Wait up! Marco! Marco?
(Red is now outdoors with the cat.)
Red: ¡Azul, mira! Dos chicas jalapeños.
(A lavender woman walks up to Red.)
Woman: Oh, my God, that is a cute cat! Ohh, my heart is melting...
Kitty Amazing: *Meow*
Woman: MY HEART IS MELTING! OH, MY GOD!
(The woman dies.)
Red: Oh, shit!
(Sirens are heard, probably from an ambulance.)
Blue: Red? What happened? I hear sirens!
Red: You hear nothing!
Green man: Hey, is she okay?
Kitty Amazing: *Meow*
(Man dies.)
Orange woman: Hey, is he okay?
Kitty Amazing: *Meow*
(Woman dies. Red screams and runs)
Blue: Wait. We're running towards the sirens? (Follows Red's voice.)
Tour man: And if you look to your left you will see....
Kitty Amazing: *Meow*
(The tour man and his group dies.)
Red: Oh, no, there's a parade! (He screams. Miscellaneous sounds are heard. Red and Blue run to their apartment building. An old man then appears)
Mr. Dingleberry: What have I told you about pets in the apartment?
Kitty Amazing: *Meow*
Red: Mr. Dingleberry, look away!
(Mr. Dingleberry falls off the stairs and dies.)
Blue: Huh? What's going on? Mr. Dingleberry?
Red: Oh, haha, he just tossed a sack of potatoes down the steps! Those Irish love their potatoes.
(A knocking sound is heard.)
Chad Quandt: I just heard the sound of death and secrets in here. Is everything all right?
(Red shows off Kitty Amazing in front of Chad.)
Kitty Amazing: *Meow*
(Chad Quandt shrieks and dies. Somber music plays in the background as Red and Kitty Amazing look at each other)
Red: You're too cute... too cute for this world. I have to destroy you! (Closes his eyes in despair.) Goodbye, Kitty Amazing... (He kisses Kitty Amazing and and puts it in front of a mirror.)
Kitty Amazing: *Meow* (It turns to stone.)
(Time lapse. Red and Blue play catch using the petrified Kitty Amazing.)
Red: Go wide, asshole! (Throws Kitty Amazing to Blue.)
Blue: Yeah, yeah, I'm going-- Wait, what?
(Kitty Amazing breaks.)
Blue: Ah, shi-
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2018
Category:2018 Episodes
Category:FDBackup
Category:2010s
Category:Episodes
Category:2018 Transcripts