Weekend At Diamond's/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Weekend At Diamond's".
== ==
(Guy Diamond turns around at the camera.)
Guy Diamond: Has this ever happened to you? (He jumps and spins his feet.) You’re having fun at a party, when suddenly, a Glitter Troll delights everyone with this. (He does a glitter fart at the camera and onto the Snack Pack.)
The Snack Pack: Ooh!
Guy Diamond: Well, what would you say if I told you that now anybody can produce a shimmery puff? (He does another glitter fart.) Even you. (He winks at the camera.)
Cooper: I’d say… (He laughs maniacally and rolls on the ground.)
Guy Diamond: Well, good news! I’m giving the gift of glitter gusto to all with my new invention, the Farty Party! (He starts his invention and white glitter floats above the Snack Pack.)
The Snack Pack: Ooh!
Mr. Dinkles: Meep.
Biggie: What? Your life did too have meaning before this.
Guy Diamond: Now go! Glitter! (He throws more of his inventions to his friends and they run off cheering.) Glitter like no-one’s watching! (Fuzzbert sprays glitter on Cooper.)
Cooper: (laughs) Ooh! Ooh! Again! (He gets sprayed with more glitter.) Again!
Smidge: (grunts) It’s like I have three butts! Ha-ha! (Guy Diamond and Poppy watch.)
Poppy: Congratulations, Guy. Your invention’s a hit!
Branch Puppet: Yeah! Great job, Guy! (It is revealed that Branch is holding a puppet of himself. Guy Diamond shudders.)
Poppy: OK, Branch, we get that you’re excited about your new ventriloquism hobby, but come on! Tonight’s about Guy. Besides… it’s sort of creepy.
Branch Puppet: But you always say Branch should try out new things. (Branch groans and goes to put his puppet away.)
Poppy: Guy, the Farty Party’s amazing, which is why I set up a meeting for you to present it to Sky Toronto.
Guy Diamond: (gasps) Sky Toronto?! If he manufactures my invention at the factory, everyone in the village could get one.
Poppy: It would become a household name!
Guy Diamond: (gasps) Household name! Ooh. But what if I blow it? Sky is known for being very tough. (We go to a flashback to where Harper is showing something to Sky.)
Harper: It’s all natural, tastes great, and you’ll never have to sweep up again. It’s edible confetti! (She pulls a rope and confetti falls. Then she eats some.)
Sky: Ingenious. But there are two Ts in “Confettibles.”
Harper: But I made up that wor-
Sky: This meeting is over. (He presses a button at his desk and goes down a floor to where Biggie and Mr. Dinkles dressed up as clowns.) This meeting is over. (He goes down again and sees Cooper wearing an umbrella hat while taking a shower.) This meeting is over. (He goes down to Smidge in a glass with lightning.) This meeting is over. (He goes down to where Branch is showing his puppet.)
Branch Puppet: Has this ever- (We go back to the present.)
Guy Diamond: (gasps) It’s the opportunity of a lifetime! I must prepare. Thank you for coming, everyone. Party’s over. (He whistles, but his friends ignore him. They scream as a Caterbus drags them away.)
Poppy: Guy, the meeting isn’t for a week.
Guy Diamond: A week?! That’s all?! You have to reschedule.
Poppy: Well, I can’t. You only get one shot with Sky Toronto.
Guy Diamond: One shot?! I have to get started right away! (Later that night, he pretends to talk to Sky in the mirror.) It’s on honor to meet you, Mr. Toronto. I’m Sky Diamond. Uh… Guy Toronto. (He groans and does a face palm. The next day, he writes on a chalk board and walks around in circles. A light shines on his bed.) No! (He drinks a jug of coffee. The next day, he moans while shivering. That night, he speaks to the mirror again.) Hi, Mr. Toronto Diamond. I’m King Poopy. (groans) I mean, I’m King Peppy. (He hits his clipboard on his face. (The next day, his eyes are now black and filled with tears.)
Poppy: (In Guy Diamond’s mind) You only get one shot with Sky Toronto. (Her voice echoes in Guy Diamond’s mind.)
Guy Diamond: As you can see, the bars in this graph are different sizes and arranged in a… (He yawns as his chalk breaks.) … pattern. (He finally falls asleep on the floor. The next morning, Poppy tries to wake him up.)
Poppy: Guy? Guy? (She tries to hold one of Guy Diamond’s eyes open.) Guy, wake up! Your meeting with Sky Toronto is today! Oh, he prepared so hard, I don’t think he slept all week. He can’t miss this meeting.)
Branch Puppet: What are we gonna do?
Poppy: Branch, I am not talking to that thing. (Branch grumbles and sighs.) Now come on. We’ve got to find a way to wake him up. (She uses an alarm bug rhythmically, but it doesn’t work. Wake Up starts playing while Poppy and Branch try many ways to wake up Guy Diamond.)
(Poppy)
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
(Poppy and Branch)
It’s time to rise and shine
Hit the daily grind
You can do it, let’s get to it
Baby look alive
Ain’t no time to delay
Come on, let’s seize the day
Wake it up, shake it up
3, 2, 1, activate!
Roll out, let’s get kicking
Perk up, baby, time is ticking
Put a little pep into it
You can do it, you can do it
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
It’s time to wake that body
Let’s get this party started
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Wake, wake it up
Wake, wake, wake it up
You’ve got stuff to do today
There’s no time to hibernate
Get that body up, I said
3, 2, 1, activate! Let’s go!
Roll out, let’s get kicking
Perk up, baby, time is ticking
Put a little pep into it
You can do it, you can do it
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
It’s time to wake that body
Let’s get this party started
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Wake, wake it up
Wake, wake, wake it up (Branch and Poppy pant at the end of the song. Guy Diamond is still sleeping.)
Branch: Well, at least we can say we did everything we could. (He puts his face on the ground.)
Poppy: Not everything.
Branch: Poppy, come on! The meeting is in an hour, and Guy is still fast-
Poppy: Asleep? No, he’s not. (She imitates Guy Diamond.) Hi, Branch! Huh?
Branch: (Getting up) Ah. So, today’s the day it happens, huh? All that blind optimism finally broke your brain.
Poppy: It’s not blind optimism. We’re just gonna make it look like Guy’s awake so he can present his idea to Sky Toronto. Easy. (She lets go of Guy Diamond.)
Branch: Um… Poppy, is it possible this is one of those times you go overboard trying to help your friends?
Poppy: (scoffs) Me, go overboard? I really don’t know what you’re referring to. (She picks up Guy Diamond.)
Branch: Have it your way. But this is one hairball scheme you’re not dragging me into. (He walks away.)
Poppy: It will require your ventriloquism skills.
Branch Puppet: You had me at “ventriloquism skills.” (Later, Poppy is talking to her friends.)
Poppy: OK, team, we have a few logistical problems to solve. First, Guy’s eyes are closed. Satin? Chenille? (Satin and Chenille go to put make-up on Guy Diamond’s eyes.)
Satin: Careful! Don’t draw them too far too the left.
Chenille: Wait, your left or my left? (They stop and see that their make-up didn’t work. Everyone gasps. Branch puts sunglasses on Guy Diamond. They sigh in relief. Poppy puts an orange scarf around his face.)
Poppy: And this will cover up the fact that his lips aren’t moving.
Branch: (Imitating Guy Diamond) One thing to know about me is I’m definitely awake. (The Snack Pack gasps.)
Smidge: Oh, my Guh! He’s awake!
Poppy:  No, Smidge, he’s still asleep. But this just might work. (She takes Guy Diamond’s arm.) Huh? Huh? Hey? (Branch gives Guy Diamond a high-five.) All right! (Soon, she, Branch, and Guy Diamond arrive at Sky’s factory.)
Sky: Mr. Diamond! I’ve heard so much about you. And Queen Poppy. What are you doing here?
Poppy: We’re uh… here for support. Moral support, not physical support. Ha-ha!
Sky: Hm. Unnecessary clarification, but fine.
Branch: (As Guy Diamond) Where should I do my presentation? I’m away and ready to roll!
Sky: Well, you’ll have to do it on the go, I’m afraid. Schedule’s jam-packed. But the good news is you’re in time to join me for my morning swim.
Poppy: Oh.
Branch: Swimming?!
Sky: I was talking to Mr. Diamond, but yes. Is that going to be a problem?
Poppy: No problem! Right, Guy? (Guy Diamond’s head goes down and she lifts it. Then she nods it.)
Sky: What an incredibly slow and deliberate nod. (He looks at Guy Diamond’s sunglasses.) That’s good. Shows me you have confidence. This way. (He walks away.)
Branch: We are not prepared for this. (Poppy grunts and holds up Guy Diamond.)
Poppy: Come on, Branch! It’s for Guy. We can do it. (She nods Guy Diamond’s face and Branch grumbles. Later, they are with Sky for his morning swim. He jumps into the water and swims underwater for a second and resurfaces.)
Sky: Better than a stuffy bedroom, huh? What? (He sees Poppy carrying Guy Diamond.) What kind of stroke is that?
Branch: Uh… The backstroke.
Sky: Huh. He’s somehow moving without the use of his arms and legs. Just the kind of efficiency I like to see in a business partner. (He goes back to swimming and Poppy goes up to the surface.)
Poppy and Branch: Phew! (Later, they are at the meeting.)
Poppy: I think you’re gonna love this presentation, Sky. Guy has been working so hard on it.
Branch: (As Guy Diamond) Has this ever happened to you?
Sky: (Holding up his hand) Intriguing start. But please, tell me the rest in my office, which is just up the small staircase.
Poppy and Branch: Staircase? (Sky puts on his athlete headband.)
Sky: Follow me. (He runs off. Branch and Poppy gasp because there is a very long stairway. Wake it Up plays again as they struggle to bring Guy Diamond up the stairs.) OK back there?
Poppy: We’re OK. (She and Branch pant and lean over. Guy Diamond falls down the stairs. They scream and run down to grab him.)
Both: No, no, no!
Poppy: Faster! Oh, no, no, no! (A crash is heard. Later, she and Branch finally reach Sky’s office.)
Sky: Have a seat. (Poppy and Branch put Guy Diamond on a seat.) Now, let’s talk business, shall we? (Guy Diamond’s face falls onto the table.) Mr. Diamond, your behavior is… unorthodox. (Branch and Poppy gasp and lifts Guy Diamond’s face. It is revealed that his glasses shattered.) Hm. Unflinching direct eye contact. Very impressive. Proceed. (Poppy and Branch run to the other side of the room and two spotlights turn on.)
Branch: (As Guy Diamond) Has this ever happened to you?
Poppy: (Dancing) I’m at a party, but there’s no Glitter Trolls to spread the effervescent cheer.
Branch Puppet: Yeah, I wish we could glitter, too. (Poppy grunts and pulls the puppet down.)
Branch: (Imitating Guy Diamond) Well, now you can! (He spins Poppy around and after that, they are wearing a Farty Party.)
Both: The Farty Party! (They pull the switch and glitter explodes.)
Branch: (As Guy Diamond) So, do we have a deal?
Sky: Hm. (He thinks for a few seconds and Poppy and Branch smile.) I think we all know I’m gonna say yes. This is going to be huge. Care to hairshake to make if official? (He uses his hair to shake Guy Diamond’s hair.)
Poppy: Yeah!
Branch: Wahoo! (Poppy pulls her Farty Party and Guy Diamond wakes up.)
Guy Diamond: What? Where?
Branch: Uh-oh.
Sky: Hm? (Poppy gasps as Guy Diamond brushes the glitter away from him.)
Guy Diamond: Where am I? Mr. Toronto? Did I sleep through the meeting?
Sky: (angry) What is the meaning of this? I’ve never been so insulted. This meeting is-
Poppy: Wait! I can explain! Guy was practicing so hard to perfect his presentation to you that he fell asleep, and I just didn’t want Guy to miss out on his big chance. Please don’t blame him. This is all my fault.
Sky: Yes, yes, I know all about that. You knew we were pulling Guy’s strings?
Sky: Of course. You think I got where I am without knowing everything about the Trolls I meet? Also, it was pretty obvious. I was testing you, Mr. Diamond, and you proved something to me today. You surround yourself with people who really support you, and that’s just the kind of Troll I want to do business with. (Poppy, Branch, and Guy Diamond gasp.) Now let’s talk about how we’re going to get everyone in Troll Village farting up a storm.
Guy Diamond: (gasps) Dreams do come true! (He walks with Sky.)
Sky: I do have one suggestion, if I may? Call it the Farty Party. It’s cleaner.
Guy Diamond: Hm? Absolutely not! That’s out of the question! (He pulls his Farty Party.) I’m out of here! (He takes off like a rocket through the ceiling.)
Branch Puppet: Awkward. (Poppy and Sky grumble.)
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