The Safety

==Watch Out, Little Teddy!==
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:: Watch Out, Little Teddy.
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:: Little Teddy is very excited, because it's cookie time. But, watch out, Little Teddy…
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:: Ow! Ow!
:: BE CAREFUL AROUND OVENS!
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:: Little Teddy has seen a bird. Hello little bird!
:: Hello!
:: But, watch out, Little Teddy...
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:: BE CAREFUL AROUND WINDOWS!
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:: Little Teddy is having fun in the backyard, with a butterfly. Butterflies are pretty. But, watch out, Little Teddy….
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:: BE CAREFUL AROUND GARDEN TOOLS!
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:: Little Teddy is helping a senior citizen. That's kind of you, Teddy. It's nice to be nice.
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:: But, watch out, Little Teddy...
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:: BE CAREFUL AROUND STRANGERS!
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:: AND CARS!
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:: If you're going on adventures, or having lots of fun. Remember to be frightened, being safe is number one.
:: Remember, kids: please take care, 'cause danger's lurking— everywhere.
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:​​​​​: Okay. Everyone, take the rest of the day off. I'm just gonna—
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==Darwin Turns Overprotective==
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:: DUDE!!!!!!! HHAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?!?!?! WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT??!!!
:: CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:: The what are you doing?!
:: Keeping you safe. You almost stepped in a puddle, man. You could have slipped. Or worse, DROWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: Dude, I think you might be overreacting just a teeny tiny bit.
:: I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU GET HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL KEEP YOU SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL KEEP EVERYONE SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:​​​​: Are you kids alright?
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:: COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
:: Sorry!
:​​​​: Oh, it's quite alright!
==Child Filter==
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:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:: HEY DARWIN! 
:: What?
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:: But it always looks like that.
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:: Oh, that! That's because I put the child filter on the house.
:: WHAT THE [BLANK]?!?!?!?! Wait, what's happening? It's like there's some kind of [blank] device, censoring every gosh [blank] word I say!
:: Cursing is unsafe, Gumball. Words can hurt.
:: Dude, I don't even know any real curse words. I only know the mom-sanctioned versions.
:: But those words hint at the bad ones, so they need to be censored as well.
:: So, what are we supposed to say when we need to vent?
:: Like when?
:: Like now. 
:: OH YOU—
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==Routine Made Safe==
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:: Oh, Mom. Darwin's being a complete mom! No offense to you. OFFENSE TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: I'm sorry, but your brother is right. Vegetables are full of pesticides, meat is full of hormones, fish is full of mercury, milk is not meant to be digested, sugar makes you fat—
:: And bread is full of gluten! The only solution is to eat pure proteins, carbohydrates, fat, minerals, and vitamins. It is for our own good!
:, , and : It is for our own good.
:: Can you pass the iron?
::
:: Ah.
:: Am I the only one here who thinks this is COMPLETELY CRAZY?!?!?!!!!!?!??!???!?!?!?!?!?!??!!!!!!!
:: Is it crazy to keep your loved ones safe?
:: I don't mind, as long as I'm full.
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:: Careful, Mr. Dad. It's dangerous to take too many vitamins.
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:: Aww.
::
:: Hello?
:: Hi. I'd like to complain about your cartoon. I disapprove of the use of dynamite. It is imitable, and could endanger the life of a child.
:: Where would a child be able to buy dynamite?
:: Are you saying your channel and sponsors don't care about our nation's children?
:: Okay, no dynamite.
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:: I'm sorry. We can't allow that, either.
:: But a child can't lift an anvil.
:: But he might hurt himself trying.
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:: Ah ah ah! No running in the road.
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:: And, of course, no violence.
:: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I wasn't really gonna bite his tail. The joke is that he's gonna give me my own tail—
:: No jokes, please. A child might laugh and choke.
:: Can we keep the music?
:: No, thank you. It's the gateway to rock n' roll, which is the root of all evil.
:: Uh—
:: Repeat after me: it's for our own good.
: and : It's for our own good. It's for our own good— 
:: NO, NO, GUYS, WAIT, WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??! I WOULD NEVER IMITATE WHAT I SEE ON TV!!!!!!!!!!!! GUYS, COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:: You know, you can't talk to characters inside a TV, right? And birds can carry diseases!
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==Darwin’s Tyranny==
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:: Guys! What's going on?!
:: Darwin tied us up while he went to make sure the rest of Elmore is safe.
:, , and : It is for your own good!
:: How can this be for our own good?! DON'T YOUR REALIZE—
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:: What is that????????
:: That's the best way for you to exercise safely.
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:: Mmm. That was my idea!
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:, , and : It is for your own good!
:: Have you lost your minds???!!!!! How could you give up your freedom???!!!!!
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:: Okay, Gumball. We don't have much time. Just do as I say—
:: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU, MOTHER, BUT I STAND FOR FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: No, Gumball! You don't get it!
:: SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: GUMBALL, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE—
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:: OH, THAT'S RIGHT!!!!!!! LAUGH IT OFF!!!!!!!! LET'S ALL GIVE AWAY OUR FREEDOM, AND LAUGH ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAH— Everybody, careful. I think we're being watched.
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:: That's what you wanted to say, wasn't it?
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:: OF COURSE!!!!!!
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:: GOT IT!
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:: What?
:: Oh, nothing. Let's get out of here, and stop your brother!
==Overthrowing the Safety Regime==
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:: He's at the town hall!!! We have to get there, and stop him!!!!
:: Before what?!
:: He plans to invade the rest of the world to make it safe!
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:: How do you know about all this?
:: He told us.
:: Why didn't you stop him?
:: Because, he's Darwin. He's really cute.
:: Aw, he was all like— "All resistance is futile!"
:: "Those who stray from the path will be corrected!"
:: "Today a safer Elmore! Tomorrow a safer world!"
:: HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE HE WAS DANGEROUS?!?!?!?! Actually, now that I think of it, it must have been adorable!
:: Aw.
:: NOW, ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!! LET'S TAKE THIS CUTUIE PATOOTIE DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:: I don't mean to alarm you or damage your eardrums by shouting, but under the new regime you are under arrest for treason. Please don't force us to use our balloon batons.
:: Wait. That's not real?
:: No. That would be unsafe.
:: So, what's to stop us from running away?
:: Running is now an unsafe act.
:: Oh, good.
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:: Stop!
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:: Control, we have no other choice but to engage in a vehicle chase.
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:: I wish we were still allowed to drive.
:​​​​: I'm sorry sir, but under the new regime, complaining about the regime is a punishable offense.
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==The Plan==
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:: Okay. So, here's how we get in.
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:: Okay, now, you're there. We come in from there. We go around there, and we meet there. Is that clear? Let's go!
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:: It's not working!
:: Dad, that was just a diagram.
:: Well, we couldn't see it.
:: Yeah. Fair point. Okay, the plan is this: dad creates a diversion at the entrance, allowing us to zip-line inside; mom neutralizes the first three guards; Anais hacks into the alarm system and opens the door, so I can get to Darwin— and destroy him!
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:: Verbally.
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:: Why'd you need to wear a dress to do that?
:: So I can do this.
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:: Come on, guys! Hold on to me.
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:: Warning: These stunts are performed by cartoon characters. Do not under any circumstances attempt to imitate or recreate the majority of things that happen in cartoons. Obviously.
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:: Leave this to me!
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:: Did anyone see what happened? I'm pretty sure I didn't hit this guy.
:: Hey!
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:: What's going on? I didn't even touch him!
:: I think Darwin still has the child lock on.
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:: "Twiddle?" What? And he's now censoring the sound effects as well?
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:: You guys go on ahead. This is gonna be pretty boring to watch.
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:: What is all this?
:: It must be where he monitors the whole town.
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:: We're getting close.
:: Wait!
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:: Okay!
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:: Ugh! We need a code. How are we gonna get in?
:: Don't worry. I have my ways. H A C K: Hack. Press enter.
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:: Really? "Hack"?
:: Just kidding. Actually, I bypassed the storage controller, tapped directly into the VNX array head, decrypted the Nearline SAS disks—
:: Mhm. Mhm. Mhm.
:: Injected the flash drivers into the network's fiber pack, before disabling the IDS, routed incoming traffic through a bunch of offshore proxies—
:: Mhm. Mhm.
:: Accessed the ESXi server cluster in the primary datacenter, and disabled the Inter-VSAN routing in the layer three—
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==Revolution!==
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:: REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Use the stairs. It's safer.
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:: Oh, whatever.
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:: Gumball, that wasn't very safe. Did you hurt yourself?
:: Yes. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: But, I'm doing this for your own good! I'm the hero here.
:: Okay, man. Let me ask you one question: WOULD A HERO SIT ON A THRONE??? WOULD A HERO CARRY A RIDING CRAP?!?!?!? WOULD A HERO HANG OUT IN A LIAR, SURROUNDED WITH PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD??!!??!!??!!??!!??!!??!!??!!
:: That's three questions.
:: THAT'S—EH—THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!!!!!!!! Look at yourself!!!!!!!
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:: D—Do you think—? Am I the villain?
:: Mhm. Mhm.
:: Did I go too far?
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:: YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! NO!!! THE CAPE IS AWESOME!!!
:: What am I gonna do?
:: Just accept that sometimes, life isn't safe.
:: You're right. I'm gonna get rid of all these rules.
:: Uh, before you do, can I add one?
==All Hail the Lords of Elmore!==
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:​​​​: All hail the mighty Gumball and Darwin, lords of Elmore!
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Category:The Amazing World of Gumball Transcripts