Headhunters 3: The Ferocious Fifteen

==Introduction==
It was close until it wasn't anymore. 
When Return of the Mac left Dalvin Cook in his starting lineup, it seemed like destiny that the Fantasy Gods would punish him with a week five exit. After all, there is nothing the Fantasy Gods hate more than not setting your lineup. As a shot across Mac's bow, they knocked JuJu Smith-Schuster out for the season mid-game. 
But the Gods are also merciful. They want you to redeem yourself. It turns out Mac was in California and got tripped up by the time difference. As Pat can attest to, time zones are hard. Caught up in the three-hour quantum warp, Mac forgot that he needed to have his lineup set by 10am, and so Cook "took the field." Glorio the great and powerful Fantasy God is willing to let this one slide. 
Fate had other plans for Return of the Mac, and a huge 26-point night from Michael Pittman sent him to week six while sending another team home headless...
==In Memorium: Shotti's Bugatti==
I've been waxing poetic about Shotti for years. In all my seasons, I have never seen a level of dominance quite like the run I saw him make from 2015-2017 in my main league. Three straight championships on the back of Melvin Gordon, all while setting league scoring records. But even the great dynasties fall, and Shotti's Bunch was no exception. 
In comparison, Shotti's Bugatti has never been considered anything close to great. They were eliminated in week seven last year and finished week five this year over 230 points behind the leader. Understanding the urgency of his position, Shotti won Damien Harris with a huge bid of over $200. It was a move that signaled his lack of trust in the state of his RB position. He also placed a massive $305 bid on Hopkins and still managed to lose out by several hundred. Bids of over $100 were placed on several other players. So Shotti was fully aware of the need to make moves, but early Headhunters bids always tend to be way higher than expected so he came away mostly empty handed. Dame Harris's 12.55 was probably not worht the price of admission.
Another big thing was that Shotti could not figure out his QB situation. Matt Ryan struggled early, so he turned to Derek Carr in week four. That was right as Ryan got going and Carr hit a brick wall. Injuries to flex guys like Tee Higgens didn't help, and Melvin Gordon put up his worst game of the season in week five when Shotti needed him most. It was a dark way to go out for a team that has had so much success with Melvin over the years. Maybe this isn't the format for Shotti, or maybe he just keeps getting unlucky. In either case, he is no longer with us so it doesn't matter.
Time for an engine check. 
Shotti's Bugatti:
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)==
This and all other charts adjusted to reflect Bobecue Chicken still alive and Pats a bitch extinct.
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)
Team 	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Pats a bitch 	20th (-1) 	19th 	N/A
It's Blitz! Track 2	19th (-16) 	3rd (-2) 	1st
Shotti's Bugatti 	18th(-5) 	13th 	N/A
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$2,779 	93%
==Week Six==
Went back to my introduction and turns out we had planned for week six to be a single-elimination, with Wheel of Fate coming back for weeks 7-12. So let's stick with what I had planned from the beginning. One team going home in week six! 
==New Releases==
Last place teams are still pretty fucking bad but there is some star power here that will command a few big bids like last week. 
#Travis Kelce
#Adam Thielen
#Damien Harris (Again)
#Melvin Gordon III
#Derek Carr
==Week Five Bidding Results==
Week Five Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
DeAndre Hopkins 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	$502 	$333 (Bad VRs)
AJ Brown 	CP 	$269 	$222 (Bad VRs)
Damien Harris 	Shotti's Bugatti 	$205 	$159 (Out of Luck)
Antonio Brown 	The Titanic 	$201 	$130 (Neck-Fix and Chill)
Javonte Williams 	The Titanic 	$101 	$71 (Sloppy Seconds)
Hunter Renfrow 	The Titanic 	$75 	N/A
Brandon Bolden 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	$11 	$9 (Out of Luck)
Braxton Berrios 	Sloppy Seconds 	$4 	N/A
Jonnu Smith 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	$4 	N/A
Dallas Defense 	Return of the Mac 	$3 	N/A
New England Defense	The Guilloteam 	$1 	N/A
====Quick-hit thoughts====
*As much of a breakout guy Renfrow has been, Titanic overbid by a hell of a lot. With the $302 spent on AB and Williams, the $75 spent on Renfrow is a huge chunk of precious wasted funds that he cannot get back. 
*Bad VRs is showing their hand as an aggressive bidder early on despite already having a powerful team. They don't seem content to wait around until funds are depleted. They want a stacked roster now so they can coast to the finals. 
*Will Damien Harris be this year's DJ Moore? Who else remembers the 2019 Moore curse, where three teams got eliminated shortly after winning DJ Moore in a bid? It got so bad I'm almost positive people stopped bidding on him simply because they were afraid of the curse.
Last Year's most expensive week five player: D'Ernest Johnson ($70). Non-Elim bidding is hilarious.
==Money Spent Per Week==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$9 (2 Players) 	$1173 (12 Players) 	$1339 (7 Players)
3 	$1283 (10 Players)	$1033 (7 Players) 	$1902 (15 Players)
4 	$657 (8 Players) 	$1182 (11 Players) 	$1614 (11 Players)
5 	$1376 (11 Players)	$181 (4 Players) 	1743 (14 Players)
==Week Five Results==
Week Five Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1(5) 	The Titanic 	264.33
2(14) 	Last Matts Standing 	254.61
3(8) 	Beach McBungalow 	229.16
4(2) 	Bad VRs 	211.10
5(3) 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	203.46
6(1) 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	185.62
7(12) 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	185.59
8(9) 	Out of Luck 	182.71
9(11) 	CP 	177.64
10(13) 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	171.78
11(4) 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	161.22
12(6) 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	159.71
13(10) 	Sloppy Seconds 	158.76
14(15) 	Return of the Mac 	135.69
15(7) 	The Guilloteam 	132.43
16(16) 	Shotti's Bugatti 	118.06
17 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	0
18 	Bad Boys 	0
19 	Henry VIII 	0
20 	Pats a bitch 	0
*Biggest Climber: Last Matt's Standing (^12)
*Biggest Faller: The Guilloteam (v8)
==2021 Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Beach McBungalow 	ALIVE
2 	Return of the Mac 	ALIVE
3 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	ALIVE
4 	Bad Boys 	MERGED
5 	Pats a Bitch (Steve Blackman's Nun)	2
6 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	ALIVE
7 	Henry VIII 	MERGED
8 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	ALIVE
9 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	ALIVE
10 	Out of Luck 	ALIVE
11 	Soul Survivor 	MERGED
12 	@FFDraftScott 	ALIVE
13 	Shotti's Bugatti 	5
14 	Last Coach Standing 	MERGED
15 	Bobecue Chicken (Sloppy Seconds) 	ALIVE
16 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	4
17 	The Guilloteam 	ALIVE
18 	Who the Fuck are all of you? 	ALIVE
19 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	ALIVE
20 	CP 	ALIVE
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. The Titanic===
With how much money this team has spent over the last two weeks, they better be the fucking top scorer. And they'll need to stay that way for a long time with only $122 left, or approximately 1.75 Hunter Renfrows. Now we face a sad reality: all that money spent, and Titanic hasn't a single TE on his roster playing in week six. Pitts has his bye, and there is no chance he gets Kelce for $122. 
===2. Last Matt's Standing===
This team is the embodiment of the snip-snap-snip-snap Michael Scott gif. They dropped 11 spots from weeks three to four, then back up 12 spots in week five. Losing Kittle cost them depth at TE, which was one of the big benefits to the merge in the first place. 
===3. Beach McBungalow===
Arguably the team to beat. They finish third in scoring, have CMC about to come back, and have their entire budget. Other than the VR Alliance, no team is in a better place through five weeks.
=== 4. Bad VRs ===
Speaking of Bad VRs, is this team ever going to finish in first place? I thought they were this unstoppable force? I guess it's all part of the plan. Please hold for world domination. 
===5. I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls===
Lost starting TE Maxx Williams to IR and they've already shown they are willing to bid big for star-power. Could they be risking it all for Kelce this week? Dere-Lick is the first and only team to pass 1,000 points so far this season. 
==On the Chopping Block==
===15. The Guilloteam===
If I know anything about Pat he is about to spend $700 this week to boost his team. Most of that will go to Kelce, because this man is obsessed with Kelce and sick of not having a good TE on any team in his entire fantasy arsenal. But he'll throw some dough at other guys too. End of this week he will be 1.) a lot better and 2.) a lot poorer.
===15. Return of the Mac===
This man has been living on the Edge of Extinction for a hot minute now. He is basically Indiana Jones sliding under the closing door on repeat. Most of us get to this point at some point in the season, but for it to be this early is harrowing. 
===14. Sloppy Seconds===
Ever since his resurrection, Sloppy has been pretty quiet. He is certainly performing better than his original self, but not really lighting it up either. For now, my man is probably content just being alive but if the desperate teams below him go all out than he could be facing elimination in week six.
===13. Mixon Beer with Liquor===
Going up and down the defending champ's roster, it seems like RB, TE, DEF, and QB are all in pretty good shape. But WR continues to be a huge issue. We'll see if he can bring in some help this week. Also someone should probably reach out to him and remind him he has an immunity idol. 
===12. Ya Hate 2 See It===
I don't think I've ever seen anything like the way that Hate 2 See It has his roster constructed. He dropped two bench guys on September 15th and again on October 5th. He hasn't picked anyone up since. He has four empty roster spots just hanging out. It's borderline serial killer stuff. It's not like he isn't playing. He placed $200 on Hopkins, $100 on Metcalf, some $0 bids on lower-ranked players. He just...doesn't have a bench. It's insanity. 
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Shotti's Bugatti 	153.62 	5
Pats a bitch 	147.32 	2
It's Blitz! Track 2	136.14 	4
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
It's Blitz! Track 2	7.06 	4
Shotti's Bugatti 	14.37 	5
Pats a bitch 	N/A 	2
 
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2021 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Return of the Mac 	208.47
2 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	249.61
3 	Who the Fuck are all of you?	215.73
4 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	235.97
5 	The Titanic 	264.33
Titanic finishes 1st place in week five for the second year in a row.
==Dungeon Dwellers==
2021 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Bobecue Chicken 	132.96
2 	Mixon Beer with Liquor	118.90
3 	Return of the Mac 	120.63
4 	Shotti's Bugatti 	125.79
5 	The Guilloteam 	132.43
A different king and dungeon dweller each of the first five weeks has never happened before. Love the diversity. 
==Single Season Scoring Records==
As teams get eliminated their season will be added to the record books.
All-Tme Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3428.76	CP 	2019
3402.18	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3015.53	Mixon Beer 	2020
2997.67	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2743.25	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59	Mac 	2019
2422.98	Dere-Lick 	2019
2377.31	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51	CP 	2020
2282.91	Out of Luck 	2020
2046.35	LIVEWithIt 	2019
1941.63	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1736.99	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1439.40	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1357.00	Henry VIII 	2019
1238.56	Bluedevils 	2019
1132.61	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63	Mac 	2020
1049.89	LIVEWithIt 	2020
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
768.10 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2021
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	Dere-Lick 	2020
544.55 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2021
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
As teams get eliminated, their updated totals will be added to the record books.
All-Time Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played
6679.80	It's Blitz! Track 2 	3
5714.27	CP 	2
5374.98	The Guilloteam 	2
3765.22	Mac 	2
3249.90	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2
3224.47	@FFDraftScott 	2
3136.10	Dere-Lick 	2
3130.69	Mixon Beer 	2
3106.24	LIVE With It 	2
3000.73	Out of Luck 	2
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	1
2489.61	Henry VIII 	2
2414.99	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2
2401.59	Bobecue Chicken 	2
1898.12	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2
1885.08	Shotti's Bugatti 	2
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	1
1738.10	Bad Boys 	2
1238.56	Bluedevils 	1
698.91 	Phillip's Team 	1
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun	2
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 10/12/2021
Player 	Total Budget
Bad VRs 	$1459
Ya Hate 2 See It 	$1000
Beach McBungalow 	$1000
Mixon Beer with Liquor 	$1000
Out of Luck 	$999
Hasta Laviska Baby 	$998
Sloppy Seconds 	$993
Last Matts Standing 	$989
The Guilloteam 	$974
Return of the Mac 	$964
CP 	$719
Who the Fuck are all of you?	$601
Neck-Fix and Chill 	$498
I Can Dere-Lick My Own Balls	$375
The Titanic 	$122
Shotti's Bugatti 	0
It's Blitz! Track 2 	0
Bad Boys 	0
Pats a bitch 	0
==CONCLUSION==
That's all for this week! Little late again so I'm sure all your bidding is in and by the time you're reading this everyone's already won their players. But enjoy anyway and happy hunting!