August 6, 2024/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz episode, August 6, 2024.
==TV-MA Warning (before the story)==
Hulu TV-MA - Hulu Preroll|The TV-MA warning.
==Story==
===Opening Segment===
Opening Logo
*2021 Hulu Originals opening logo
Show Announcer: August 6, 2024. Hosting live from their home in Long Beach, California. This is Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz.
AUGUST 6, 2024
Opening Segment Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, your hosts of Memes of Truth, kicking things off with an opening segment, Zachary and Meredith Bortz.
OPENING
SEGMENT
[Transition to Zachary and Meredith]
Meredith: Zachary and Meredith Bortz here and today on Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz, we have something to reveal. But we'll save that for "Fetish Fest" when we get there. Factory Beat has what we have too but we won't talk about that next segment. Instead, we'll also save that for "Fetish Fest". Now, onto the next segment.
===What Are Beat and Glee Dan Up To?===
What Are Beat and Glee Dan Up To? Announcer: What Are Beat and Glee Dan Up To?
WHAT ARE BEAT
AND GLEE DAN
UP TO?
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Zachary: We'll keep "What Are Beat and Glee Dan Up To?" short today as there's not much to talk about today. As least not until "Fetish Fest". Anyway, remember on July 16, Meredith wrote what was on that Facebook post on a piece of paper and read it to us? Well, guess what, it's gone.
Meredith: Yep. Unfortunately, we discovered on Saturday that it had been deleted. But on a more positive note, we don't really it anymore since Bear-a-Stiff Glee Dan probably filled the Google Form out already.
Zachary: Indeed so. Well, that's about it for Glee Dan. Again, we'll save the Beat part for "Fetish Fest" once we get these next two segments over with. First up…
===Cool Chuck 95000===
Cool Chuck 95000 Announcer: Cool Chuck 95000!
COOL CHUCK
95000
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Meredith: Let's Cappa things up on "Cool Chuck 95000". First up, the location in Florence, South Carolina closed on Sunday and the Zachary & Meredith Bortz's location replacing it will reference the Chuck E. Cheese in that city.
Zachary: It will open on March 1, 2025 alongside 22 other locations, those being Albany, Georgia, Bowling Green, Kentucky, Campti, Louisiana, Cape Carteret, North Carolina, Cape Vincent, New York, Capitola, California, Carbon, Indiana, Carlisle, Pennsylvania, Carthage, Tennessee, Dothan, Alabama, Ellisville, Missouri, Greeley, Colorado, Hattiesburg, Mississippi, Janesville, Wisconsin, Jonesboro, Arkansas, Las Cruces, New Mexico, Leominster, Massachusetts, North Olmsted, Ohio, Ocala, Florida, Rapid City, South Dakota, Salisbury, Maryland and Yuma, Arizona. Cappas are being referenced here.
Meredith: On Friday, it was announced that a new summer-themed location in East Otto, New York would open on February 1, 2025 with the original-themed locations referencing Road Stages in certain stages and 2-Stages that aren't in New Jersey or Florida. East Otto is gonna reference that "You Rock! Game Over!" screen on the Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman Flash game, Link-O-Vision, which the original-themed Middleborough, Massachusetts location is gonna fully reference. And speaking of original-themed locations, a new location with the original theme in Monroe, Louisiana was also announced on Friday but with an opening date of February 28, 2026. And we'll tell you what this location is going to reference next segment. Speaking of which…
Zachary and Meredith: Cool Chuck 95000!
Cool Chuck 95000 Announcer: Cool Chuck!
COOL CHUCK!
===Stages, Restroom Signs and More===
Stages, Restroom Signs and More Announcer: Stages, Restroom Signs and More!
STAGES, RESTROOM
SIGNS AND MORE
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Zachary: On Friday, it was announced that the Chuck E. Cheese in Monroe, Louisiana had closed sometime in July after 13 years. Opening on July 9, 2011, the store had a Studio C Beta, which removed the animatronic after Studio C ceased programming. In fact, all Studio C locations should've removed their animatronics instead of leaving them behind on random movements. Although, Jackson and Tupelo, Mississippi did also remove their animatronics as they're Melvin franchise locations.
Meredith: A bot-less Studio C Beta? Well, that sucks.
Zachary: I know, right? No reason was given for the closure. We'll probably find out what it was later on. Louisiana's bot-less anyway. You know what other bot-less states saw a location close? North Dakota with the closing of Fargo, making the chain extinct in that state for that matter and Iowa with the closing of Davenport.
Meredith: Oh s**t. Talk about closing a couple of 2.0 locations with Fargo and Davenport being two of them. The other six are Grand Chute / Appleton, Wisconsin, Vernon Hills, Illinois, Vista, California, Buford, Georgia, Arlington, Texas and Monroeville, Pennsylvania. And speaking of 2.0, the location in Maple Grove, Minnesota removed their Alpha and is in the process of getting it and we just got that Amarillo, Texas removed their 1-Stage for 2.0, which means that Munch's Make Believe Band is extinct in Texas.
Zachary: No s**t. Not another 1-Stage.
Meredith: Well, at least Hicksville, New York is keeping theirs. However, the 1-Stage in La Mesa, California is not gonna live for very long since it's gonna close soon due to the Grossmont Center, the shopping mall it's in, being redeveloped.
Zachary: La Mesa's closing we know of ahead of time, same for Huntington Beach, California's relocation. Their 2-Stage is not gonna last for long either.
Meredith: But the story doesn't end there. Wyomissing, Pennsylvania's fate is still to be decided as their lease expires in December. Also, there will be more closings this year probably to get rid of the animatronics without wanting to remodel.
Zachary: Goddamn it. Downingtown, Pennsylvania closed cause they refused to remodel.
Meredith: It's probably gonna happen to the remaining phase 3 locations like La Mesa, but who knows? Low-income locations are definitely gonna be on the f**king chopping block soon. At least ones that still have animatronics.
Zachary: Buford was in 2.0 when it closed due to low sales. Their closing proves that 2.0 flat-out sucks big gay penis. [smiles as Meredith bursts into laughter]
Meredith (while laughing): Big gay penis. [continues to laugh] Holy s**t, that's hilarious! Big gay penis. [laughs even harder and then sighs] You're funny, Zach.
Zachary: Yes I am, Meredith. Anyway, expect some more locations to close. We'll mention them when they happen or if they get 2.0 if they didn't get it yet. But now, it's time for the revealing. Stages, Restroom Signs and More!
Stages, Restroom Signs and More Announcer: Stages!
STAGES!
===Fetish Fest===
Fetish Fest Announcer (singing): Fetish Fest.
FETISH FEST
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith.]
Meredith: So, it's been revealed that we, along with Factory Beat, have four sexual fetishes: partialism, alvinolagnia, alvinophilia and mazophilia. Let's explain what they are. Partialism is a fetish of non-genital body parts, basically everything on your body like your feet, eyes, armpits, backs, breasts, buttocks, noses, hair, navels, bellies, hands, legs, lips, facial cheeks and dimples. Alvinolagnia is a belly fetish. Me and Zach love bellies.
Zachary: We sure do. Which leads to the next fetish: alvinophilia. Alvinophilia is a navel fetish. Navel's another name for the belly button, by the way. People are sexually aroused by bikini-clad women and no one's denying that.
Meredith: It's true. By the way, you know how belly buttons are being licked in pornography movies? Well, that's a form of alvinophilia right there. Speaking of which, Zach, can you take off your shirt so I can do it?
Zachary: Right away, Mere. [takes off his shirt] Go for it. [Meredith licks his belly button then kisses it] Oh, not gonna lie, that feels really good. Even for a man.
[Meredith stops kissing his belly button]
Meredith: Now, you may remember from Glee Dan's latest TikTok that she has jewelry on her belly button. Well, so do I. In fact, that "jewelry" on both our belly buttons are called piercings.
Zachary: Makes sense. Women get pierced everywhere just to be beautiful.
Meredith: Kissing and licking the piercings is not as comfortable as belly buttons without them. So Zach never does the licking on me. He does it on our female friends who don't have piercings on their belly buttons.
Zachary: Yeah. Works better for me. Anyway, last fetish. Mazophilia is a breast fetish. Breasts are magnets to heterosexual men everywhere. Makes sense cause men who are dating, engaged or married only want to see their breasts of their girlfriends, later fiancées and later wives.
Meredith: Well, except for Zach. He wants to see our female friends' t*ts whenever he sleeps with them or just for comfort. Speaking of which, he's wearing tighty-whities right now. He wore just those to bed last night while I was wearing white panties. In fact, let's get undressed now and hug and kiss. [Zachary takes off his jeans and socks and Meredith takes off her socks, shirt and pants] All right. Let's do this. By the way, I decided to go bra-less today. That's why you didn't see my bra. Anyway, ready, Zach?
Zachary: Ready, Mere.
[They hug]
Meredith: I love you, Zach.
Zachary: I love you too, Meredith.
[They kiss and rub each other's side then place each other's hands on their thighs]
Meredith: See our nipples touching? Feels really good hugging topless.
Zachary: Yeah it is. Women need the love they need from their man.
Meredith: You said it, Zach. Let's let go of each other now.
Zachary: Okay. [they let go] So, now that we've talked about our sexual fetishes, we need to mention that Factory Beat has them too. He's waiting to tell a female acquaintance that he has them. They'll be f**king shocked to know this.
Meredith: What the f**k is he gonna do, ask women around his age to hang out with him so that he can have them sleep over just for them to touch each other's skin?
Zachary: That's the whole plan, apparently. When he goes to Hersheypark later this month, he will if he finds someone.
Meredith: Well, wait till he tells Glee Dan and her mother. They'll f**king change their mind about him when he tells the truth after two years. If he's still wanting to do it.
Zachary: It might not end well, but who knows? Maybe Glee Dan's interested in sex like Beat is. Plus, Beat never wants to be a dad. Like how we don't want to be parents.
Meredith: Exactly. Glee Dan's future sex life we won't know until Beat learns something about it, which we hope we can hear about. In fact, tighty-whities are the perfect underwear for men when humping, masturbating or being intimate with their partners.
Zachary: Ooh, I just remembered: you all can see my balls sticking out of my tighty-whities.
Meredith: Oh, I didn't notice them until now and… [her jaw drops] Holy f**king ass crackers!
Zachary: I know, right? Lying on my stomach while just wearing these tighty-whities is so relaxing when I'm on a body pillow but on a regular bed or a massage bed, it's still relaxing.
Meredith: Same with me. Anyway, let's put our clothes back on and do the main segment.
Zachary: Let's do it. [Zachary puts his shirt, jeans and socks back on, so does Meredith with her socks, shirt and pants] All right. Back to being clothed. To the main segment now.
Fetish Fest Announcer (singing): Fetish Fest.
FETISH FEST
===Main Segment===
Main Segment Announcer (singing): Main Segment.
MAIN SEGMENT
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Meredith: So, for our guests on Friday's movie, we don't know who were gonna do. We have 3 days to decide who should be our guests for the movie. For female humans without piercings on their belly buttons, we'll lick them like I did with Zach last segment. But we'll tell you who they are Friday during the opening segment. And that concludes today's show. Zachary and Meredith Bortz, your hosts of Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz are now signing off. See you all Friday for our next movie.
Main Segment Announcer (singing): Main Segment.
MAIN SEGMENT
Closing Logos
*2021 MGM Television logo
*2021 Hulu Originals closing logo
Category:Zachary, Grace and Lexia
Category:Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz Episode Transcripts