Stand and Unfold Yourself script

== Scene 1 ==
Helena, Lucius, and Rachel walk down the hall.
Lucius: You also have a fitting for the garden party, followed by the charity photoshoot. And Sir Elton John would like to pop around and say hello.
Helena: Pop around and say hello? You give someone a title and they treat the place like a Starbucks.
Lucius: Quite. The queen is unfortunately indisposed. Now, at half past twelve--
Helena: Just give me the book, Lucius.
Lucius: Are you ready, your majesty?
Helena: Of course I'm ready. I'm the queen of England. When am I not ready?
== Scene 2 ==
Liam is at a party playing darts. Ophelia is watching with a crowd of people on an overhang.
Ophelia: It's a race, you idiot!
Liam looks up at Ophelia.
Ophelia: Oh! I mean, it's a race, you idiot, your royal highness.
Liam: It's a race. True enough. But some things in life are meant to be savored. A cold drink. Time with your mates. The woman in your bed.
- time gap to Liam and Ophelia making out in a hallway -
Ophelia: That feels good. Let me ask you something. You know, could we go somewhere without them? Sorry.
Liam: What did you have in mind? Paris?
Ophelia: Actually, I was thinking more like your bed.
Liam: I like that even better.
Ophelia: But can we really go to Paris?
Liam: Sure. My sister's there right now.
== Scene 3 ==
Eleanor is dancing with two men at a club in Paris. One of her girl friends comes up to her.
Eleanor: Bitch, your coked-up ass better curtsy.
The girl curtsies and Eleanor laughs.
Eleanor: Do we like them?
Girl: No.
Eleanor and the girl walk off. The men try to follow them but the bodyguards block them. Eleanor climbs on a table and dances. She loses her balance and the crowd takes pictures up her dress.
== Scene 4 ==
Simon looks out the window at the helicopter bringing Eleanor home. Truman enters the room.
Truman: Your majesty?
Simon: My god, Truman. What else did she do? I can't imagine it can get any worse.
Truman: It's not your daughter, sir. It's your son. I'm afraid it is worse.
== Scene 5 ==
Liam is asleep in his bed with Ophelia.
Marcus: Prince Liam.
Liam: Marcus. You're supposed to guard me, not scare the hell out of me.
Marcus: You need to return to the palace, your highness.
Liam: Why? What's going on?
Marcus: You too, Ophelia.
Ophelia wakes up.
== Scene 6 ==
Helena is flipping through newspapers angrily. Eleanor enters the room.
Eleanor: Mum?
Helena: Eleanorgy. Flash Dance. Royal Beaver. My daughter, the princess, behaving like a common whore. But go on, amuse me. Explain this latest disgrace. But please, Eleanor, make it original this time.
Eleanor: Robert's dead, mum.
Flash to Liam running down the hall.
Narrator: I'll never forget the look on his face. The bewildered boy who had just lost his brother. And in the same moment, became the future king of England.
- flash to a reporter outside of the palace -
Reporter: It is with heavy hearts that we now have confirmation that his royal highness Prince Robert is gone. The conformation was made just yesterday. The firstborn son of King Simon and Queen Helena, Prince Robert was a fascinating combination. And the palace remains secure, yet tragically silent.
== Scene 7 ==
Ted: (on the phone) The body is where? And he won't be moved, right? Military protocol's in our favor. It's imperative things remain anonymous. Fiona will handle press, I'll personally escort the body. Yeah. I'm on my way.
Ophelia: How'd it happen?
Ted: We're still gathering information.
Ophelia: Is that the truth from my father, or the official response from the king's head of security?
Ted: The truth from your father. The same father who went to your room to find your bed empty, which can't be said for the prince's bed. A fact I had to learn from one of my men.
Ophelia: I know. Just don't take it out on Marcus, okay? He didn't know.
Ted: When the queen asks her head of security why he can't control his own daughter, what would you like me to say?
Ophelia: I don't know. You could tell her that your normally responsible daughter got drunk on gin and tonic - mostly gin - and had irresponsible but protected sex with her son. And is very much ashamed of herself.
Ted: I'm an employee, Ophelia. We live here under unspoken code of distance and division. A code you must have forgotten, otherwise you wouldn't have been up all night drinking gin and having illicit sex with the future king of England.
Ophelia: You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry about Robert.
Ted: I'm disappointed in you. Go to class. Oh, and I'm glad you're using protection.
Ophelia: Dad? Could you never say that again, please? And you forgot your phone.
== Scene 8 ==
Eleanor is sitting in a chair in her room. Liam stands in the doorway.
Eleanor: I owed him a call. Last night I promised I'd call him. But they're going to come now. All of them.
Liam: Maybe do mum a favor and wear some knickers.
Eleanor: Mum can piss off.
Liam: Maybe do dad a favor then. It's good to see you, Len. Robert loved you most.
Eleanor: Hey. This sucks, huh?
Eleanor stands and Liam hugs her.
== Scene 9 ==
Eleanor and Liam are standing outside on the front steps. Eleanor puts her head on Liam's shoulder. Penelope and Maribel are getting out of their cars with their dogs.
Penelope: Oh my god, I'm never flying commercial again!
Maribel: Where's our plane?
Penelope: It's redic.
Maribel: It's recock. Saw your fanny on the front page, Len.
Penelope: Well done, you.
Maribel: Yeah, but how many people read the tabs anyway? Like, 3 million? I mean that's less than what's seen your bits anyway. Yada, yada, yada.
Penelope: Whatever. Oh gosh, sorry about Bobby.
Maribel: Yeah, like, no fair.
Penelope hugs Eleanor and Maribel hugs Liam.
Maribel: So is our father about?
Penelope: The neglectful tosser.
== Scene 10 ==
Liam is sitting on a bench outside. Ophelia sits beside him.
Ophelia: Marcus said you wanted to see me?
Liam: Um, please sit. How do you like your tea?
Ophelia: I like it when it's called coffee. Iced dirty chai with soy.
Liam: I know those are words but I have no idea what they mean.
Ophelia: Last year when my mom died, people didn't really know what to say or do. But it was always nice when they tried. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about Robert. He seemed like a wonderful person.
Liam: He was. It's a bit mad around here, so I just wanted to say, about last night--
Ophelia: It's fine.
Liam: I didn't know who you were. When Marcus recognized you I realized it was you.
Ophelia: It's okay. I didn't know who you were either.
Liam: So you're funny.
Ophelia: I haven't been back that long, and even though we live in the same palace, it doesn't mean we live in the same world. Besides, my dad would prefer to keep things quiet.
Liam: Was he upset when he found out?
Ophelia: A little. But I knew what I was doing. Does the queen know?
Liam: The queen knows everything.
== Scene 11 ==
Simon and Helena are staring at Robert's casket. Helena puts her head on Simon's shoulder and cries. A servant walks into the room and turns around. Helena wipes her eyes.
Simon: Helena. Don't go. When a mother loses her firstborn son, I believe she's allowed to grieve.
Helena: Not when she's the queen of England.
== Scene 12 ==
Reporter: And so the world gathers to pay their respects and say goodbye to Prince Robert, taken suddenly and too soon at the age of 23. Charismatic, compassionate. Robert was Britain's beloved son and he, like all the royals, loved the people with all his heart.
- flash to inside the palace -
Cyrus: God, how I loathe those people. Draped in their football jerseys and false sentiments. I can practically smell them from here.
Eleanor: I would've thought you'd be happy, dear uncle. I mean after all, you're one step closer to the throne. All you have to do is wait for your brother to die and then kill Liam. Oh, and kill me too, of course.
Cyrus: The drugs will do that. And if not, the syphillis will drive you mad and they'll declare you unfit to rule. Either way, win win.
Eleanor: Speaking of syphillis, you probably should've had that whore of an ex-wife of yours checked before those two were born.
Penelope: What's that smell? Is that your feet?
Maribel: I thought it was your fanny.
Penelope: It well could be in this boiler.
- flash to Liam and Ophelia -
Liam: Hey. Are you trying to get away from me?
Ophelia: I'm sorry. I didn't -- I was trying to be respectful.
Liam: They wrote a speech for me to give to the press. "We lost more than a man or a prince, we lost a beacon. The kind on which a nation relies to confer legitimacy and create unity." My brother does and they script my feelings.
Ophelia: Well no matter what, I know he'll be proud of you today.
Liam: Hey. Let's have dinner sometime.
Ophelia: Are you asking me before your brother's funeral?
Liam: It's my first non-scripted moment of the day.
Ophelia: I like it. You should go off script more often. Good luck.
Liam: Thank you.
Ophelia walks off. Helena comes up to Liam.
Helena: Really? Poor Gemma.
Liam: Gemma broke up with me, mum.
Helena: Can you blame her? Might I remind you the entire world will be watching you today? You'll give your quote to Fiona, you'll acknowledge the crowd, and you'll escort me to the car. And try not to sleep with anyone along the way.
== Scene 13 ==
Ted, Ophelia, and the royal family stand on the palace stairs.
Reporter: Prince Liam, with heavy hearts we offer our condolences to you as a grieving nation.
Liam: One of the great things about my brother was he wasn't afraid to be his own man. I'll miss him.
The crowd applauds him. While Helena, Eleanor, and Liam get in the car, Simon greets the people.
Helena: My god. You wretched brats. Your brother, my firstborn son, and you can't find the decorum, the civility, to honor his memory. What's wrong with you?
Eleanor: Was that scripted too?
Helena: We script you because we can trust either of you to come up with a reasonably coherent thought.
Eleanor: You know, God forbid we appear incoherent when our brother dies. Or sad. You might try it, queen.
Helena: You are a little bitch. I'm inconsolable.
Liam: Really? Because our dad is out there genuinely grieving over the death of his son, and you're in here worrying about the family's image and topping off on the Botox.
Helena slaps Liam.
Helena: At least I'm not sleeping with the help. And she's so plain.
Liam: I think Richard III had it right. Lock the kids in the tower and be done with them. Maybe Henry VIII had it right. He just killed his wives. One of them because she looked fat.
Helena: They always take the good ones.
Liam: How did Robert die? All they'll tell us is that it was a military accident.
Helena: That's all you need to know.
Eleanor: Whatever it was, good for him. If you ask me, Robert was the lucky one.
== Scene 14 ==
Liam: I was thinking of taking some time off from school. Check up on Robert's charities.
Helena: I would have thought your studies would be a welcome distraction.
Ophelia walks in.
Eleanor: Speaking of welcome distractions.
Liam: I asked a guest to join us. Sit here.
Ophelia sits down.
Liam: Mom, dad, this is Ophelia.
Simon: Ophelia Pryce, artist in residence.
Ophelia: For his majesty's Silver Jubilee, I presented him with a very serious work of art.
Simon: I can recall, you were working in the paste and yarn medium at the time.
Ophelia: I retired shortly thereafter.
Simon: What's your focus now?
Ophelia: Art History at Churchill.
Liam: Ophelia's doing a joint honors degree. Art History and Dance.
Helena: Which is grand news indeed, as the Prime Minister himself recently expressed a concern about the shortage of frolicking art historians. I'm sure you'll be twerking your way to a great future.
Eleanor: Well, she is dining with the future king of England, so she's got that going for her.
Cyrus: It's good that you're here, Ophelia. You can give us the common point of view. How is the public faring in the wake of Robert's death?
Liam: I think we'll go.
Ophelia: Robert carried himself with a nobility and grace that was easy to admire. He was inspiring and he was ours. But I can only speak from this commoner's perspective.
Cyrus: You said he was yours, but you're American.
Ophelia: My mom was American, but I was born here and raised in the States because--
Simon: Because it was safer. Please, stay. I appreciate your kind words about Robert, Ophelia. I do. Robert joined the military because I did. Like my father before me and his father before him and so on.
Cyrus: Robert was killed by tradition. He died a hero's death. A noble death.
Simon: Which merely means he's dead. Why?
Helena: I seem to have lost my appetite.
Helena begins to stand.
Simon: I think you'll want to stay to hear this next part, my love. I think you all will. So put away your phones and your drugs and your lust for the server's sponge and pay attention. I'm considering asking Parliament for a referendum... to abolish the monarchy.
Penelope: Erm... What does that mean exactly?
Eleanor: That means you'll have to get a job.
Cyrus: A vote, idiot of my loins, to eradicate us. To erase us.
Maribel: Yeah, but who votes?
Cyrus: The people.
Maribel: But they can't do that. I mean, they're the people. You know, and we're like, us.
Cyrus: They can and they have. Ever heard of America?
Maribel: Oh!
Penelope: But I do not want to be American. I do not want to walk around like Justin Bieber with no shirt on and my trousers hanging off.
Eleanor: He's Canadian.
Maribel: Even worse. They can't make us Canadian, can they daddy? Canadian and poor like Justin Bieber?
Cyrus: The British monarchy always has been and always will be.
Simon: '"Always will be" killed Robert.
Cyrus: The people need the monarchy.
Simon: The people need bread and jobs and a decent wage. They don't need us.
Cyrus: With all due respect, my king, how would you know?
== Scene 15 ==
Simon: Truman.
Truman: Your majesty?
Simon: I need a favor.
== Scene 16 ==
Helena is getting dressed for bed. She takes off her clothes and is wearing lingerie underneath.
Helena: I know you're tired. And despondent over Robert. But honestly, it was so out of character for you to speak so carelessly about the family. Referendums and Parliament and disbanding the monarchy. It's all so dramatic. And frankly, it's weak and less than who you are.
Helena turns around. Truman is watching her.
Truman: Forgive me, your majesty. Er, I was... my god it's good to be the king.
== Scene 17 ==
Ted: I understand you've had dinner with the prince.
Ophelia: He invited me. I said yes.
Ted: Next time say no.
Ophelia: Did you ever think maybe I said yes for you? That saying no might make it awkward between you and the king?
Ted: Did you?
Ophelia: No. I said yes because I wanted to go. But speaking of places we've gone lately, did you visit mom's grave?
Ted: I've been working. The king's welfare is never ending.
Ophelia: Yeah. 
Ted: If you have something to say, say it.
Ophelia: You know what? Fine. I will. Two things, actually. I appreciate that you worry about me and I get it. Being close to the royal family is what got mom killed and that's where you go when I'm near them. But it's not the same thing, dad.
Ted: It is the same thing. And frankly, it's not fair to me.
Ophelia: Because you worry about me when I'm near them.
Ted: It's dangerous, Ophelia. Even for a moment!
Ophelia: Do you know how many steps it takes to get from the elevator to the chair you're sitting in? 7. Do you know how many to your bedroom? I lie awake at night and wait to count those steps. Because at least I know you're home and you're safe. You worry about a moment. I worry about all the other moments.
Ophelia starts to walk away.
Ted: Hey. You said there were 2 things.
Ophelia: She always put us first, you know? You didn't visit her grave. You haven't taken a single day off since she died. That's screwed up, dad. Mom deserves better.
== Scene 18 ==
Eleanor is laying on her bed putting something in a painting. Penelope and Maribel walk in.
Eleanor: Oh, look who it is. Slag 1 and Slag 2! Get in here, you daft bitches.
They pull drugs out of their purses and put them on the bed. Eleanor goes through the drugs.
Eleanor: I will take this and I'll leave you with this, okay? God forbid we get any more of the like of you.
Maribel: Oh yeah, Penelope doesn't actually get high. She says it makes her queasy. Erm, she is also a virgin.
Penelope: Oh! Just a vaggy virgin. Not a blowy or a handy.
Eleanor: Now I'm queasy. Well, you're getting high tonight. Both of you. Just not here.
Eleanor, Penelope, and Maribel sit in the thrones in the throne room and get high. Eleanor laughs.
Eleanor: Yes! Maybe you'll be better at shagging. Although I doubt it.
Maribel: I can't believe Robert's gone. He would've been a stellar king, yeah?
Penelope: If there's even going to be another king. Can you imagine it? Not being a princess? I'm just not qualified to do anything else.
Maribel: I think I can do all kinds of things. Like, erm, serve tea at the Ritz. Yeah, you know, like, "Would you like another pot of tea, ladies? With some finger cakes?"
Eleanor: Food.
Maribel: Perhaps like a sweet?"
Eleanor: I'm starving.
Eleanor leaves to go to the kitchen.
Penelope: I can't feel my legs. I need assistance. Len? Help!
Maribel laughs.
== Scene 19 ==
Cyrus is in his room. Prudence knocks on the door.
Cyrus: Come in.
Prudence: His royal highness asked for me?
Cyrus: Yes. Regrettably, there have been complaints about your efforts. Enthusiasm of service, that sort of thing.
Prudence: I can assure you this is the first I'm hearing of it. I'll do better. I can't be on benefits.
Cyrus: Of course. You seem terribly nervous. Am I that intimidating?
Prudence: It's just, well, I've heard things.
Cyrus: Oh? What sort of things?
Prudence: That some of the women have had to do things to keep their jobs. With you.
Cyrus: You've heard that they had to have sex with me. Well, I can assure you that's not the case. Nor was it my intention when I asked you here. So please, relax. I'm simply looking for a token display of dedication. In a service capacity. Besides, even the president of the United States said it wasn't sex. And remember, enthusiasm counts.
== Scene 20 ==
Eleanor is sitting in the kitchen eating pie. Simon walks in.
Eleanor: Is that the king of England sulking about? Fancy some? This was reserved for the Prime Minister but that fat bastard does not need anymore pie. I could always sell pastries. You know, if you decide to disband the monarchy. Which I am all for, by the way.
Simon: Something tells me your opinion is in the minority.
Eleanor: And when has that mattered? You trust your instincts. You follow your heart. That's what makes you great. A great king. And a kind of okay father.
Simon: How are you, Lenny?
Eleanor: Um, I'm sad. But I'm baked out of my mind, so right now I'm well.
Simon: They worry about you. Your mother. Liam.
Eleanor: Not you?
Simon: Not so much.
Eleanor: Oh, thanks a lot!
Simon: Go to bed. Do better tomorrow. I'm the king. You have to do as I say.
Eleanor: Dad? Do I disappoint you?
Simon: Those qualities you say make me great, I see them in you everyday. Don't medicate all that wonder. Your brother loves you with all his heart. So do I.
Eleanor: Yeah.
== Scene 21 ==
Helena and Simon are laying in bed.
Helena: Let me recap my week for you. My daughter's vagina was on the cover of no less than four tabloids. My firstborn child was killed. My husband announced he wants to abolish the only life I've ever known. And his footman nearly saw my snatch.
Simon: I miss him. With every breath. And what tears at me is the knowledge that he could have been anything in the world. I'll not lose another son or daughter to this. They're my children, too.
Helena: They're no worse than any other kids their age.
Simon: Your daughter was "rolling balls" in the state dining room. Now she's stoned and eating the Prime Minister's pie. I'm not sure that ending this will heal any of us, but staying the same will destroy us.
Helena: The English crown has been protected and defended for thousands of years. From clans with sticks through World Wars, legions of lives lost.
Simon: But not this one. Not our son.
Helena: You are the king of England, g**damn it. Act like it.
Simon: That's exactly what I intend to do.
== Scene 22 ==
Penelope and Maribel are getting in their cars to leave the palace. Liam and Eleanor are standing on the steps to see them off.
Penelope: Okay, so we'll be off now.
Maribel: I guess our father's not-
Penelope: Shut up! If this were Asia we could eat you with mushy peas. Water-
[Penelope gets in the car]
Maribel: For dear god, do not slam the bloody door!
Penelope: Stop shouting!
Maribel: I'll shout if I bloody want to!
Penelope: Your breath, it smells like a fart.
== Scene 23 ==
Ophelia exits her front door and sees Ted there. Helena has her back turned.
Ophelia: Hey. You okay?
Helena: You're probably wondering why I wanted to see you.
Ophelia: Something to do with Liam?
Helena: His royal highness, Prince Liam.
Ophelia: Right. Sorry.
Helena: My son likes you. But I would be very happy if you'd discourage the relationship.
Ophelia: It's not really a relationship.
Helena: No, of course it's not. Is your father still a workaholic?
Ophelia: He loves his job.
Helena: Some people feel as though he's getting a little old for his line of work, but, of course, is never allow him to be replaced, considering the favor you'd be doing for me.
Ophelia: May I speak freely?
Helena: Of course.
Ophelia: Okay. Well, the thing is, I wasn't even planning on seeing your son again. At least until you insisted on girl talk and started threatening my father.
Helena: Maybe don't speak quite so freely.
Ophelia: You're the queen of England. I get it. But your son is your problem, not mine.
Helena: Be careful, little girl. As you say, I am the queen of England, and this is my house. Perhaps if you had a mother, you'd have better manners.
Ophelia: I'm not afraid of you.
Helena: Afraid of me? Of course not. Why would you be? Now, curtsy to your queen and walk away.
Ophelia: I would, but my mother never taught me how.
== Scene 24 ==
Liam and Marcus are sitting in a bar. Liam is drinking.
Liam: You know what really sucks, Marcus? Other than my brother dying? You never drink with me.
Marcus: I'm working, sir.
Liam: And stop calling me sir. You've been my security detail for...?
Marcus: Six years.
Liam: Six years. Have a drink, you pussy.
Marcus: Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown, sir. Shakespeare. Henry IV.
Liam: I know it's Shakespeare, you Irish prick.
Marcus: Careful. Your name is Irish. So look at it this way. Maybe you're illegitimate. And in that case, you can't be king anyway.
Liam: Did you just say-
Marcus: That your mother, the queen, got owned by an Irishman? Yes, that's what I implied, you potentially Irish bastard.
Liam: Talk to me about Ophelia, Marcus.
Marcus: Ophelia, sir?
Liam: Ophelia. You recognized her in my dorm room.
Marcus: Right. Well, Ophelia is Ted's daughter. And Ted's my boss. So confidentially, Ophelia is my boss' daughter, sir.
Liam: Marcus, don't they give you diplomacy lessons before you become the king's head of security?
Marcus: They do indeed, sir.
Liam: Well, you suck at it. You think Eleanor's security detail is like this?
Marcus: Eleanor's security detail was fired, sir.
== Scene 25 ==
Eleanor and Jasper are in the wine cellar getting wine.
Eleanor: Enjoying that?
Jasper: Oh, perhaps I could call the keeper of the cellar, your majesty.
Eleanor: It's "Deputy Yeoman of the Royal Cellars," and I'm "Your Highness." If you're going to work here, you better learn the language.
Jasper: Apologies, your highness.
Eleanor: Are you nervous?
Jasper: Very much so, yes.
Eleanor: Why? Because I'm the princess or because I'm hot?
Jasper: Well, no, because you're the princess. Because you're hot. Er, both.
Eleanor: Inappropriate.
Jasper: Apologies, your highness.
Eleanor: I'm messing with you. 
Though I do have serious concerns about your ability to guard my body, Jasper. The good news for you is that I can look after myself. Now here, hold out your arms.
[Eleanor hands him a box of wine]
Eleanor: Okay, you look concerned. There are 25,000 bottles of wine down here, Jasper. I'm the princess. My house, my wine! Okay?
Jasper: Oh, no. No, of course.
Eleanor: Yes. But look, if the Deputy Yeoman sees you, you're an alcoholic burglar. Got it?
[Eleanor picks up a bottle of wine]
Eleanor: Ooh, this is a 1942 something or other. After I drink this, I'll need you to find a good spot to hide the evidence.
Jasper: Sorry. You just said--
Eleanor: Okay. You can go. But tomorrow night were going out, so could you lighten up?
Jasper: Er, yes, your majest-- highness.
Eleanor: Okay. Right.
== Scene 26 ==
Eleanor is sitting on the railing of the balcony drinking from a wine bottle.
Eleanor: Phe! Stay and drink with me. You look like you could use one.
Ophelia: Yeah, I could definitely use one.
[Eleanor pours a glass for Ophelia]
Eleanor: Some for you and some to me. To Robert. And to the fading days of a crumbling empire. So how are things with the new boyfriend?
Ophelia: It wasn't like that. I tried to explain that to your mother.
Eleanor: And did she threaten you and tell you to never see him again?
Ophelia: Pretty much. But it was just a hook up. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend.
Eleanor: So much for dating a guy for his money and power. Art, planes, boats, land. A couple of castles, the Crown Jewels, the diplomatic immunity. But, you know, the kid's terrible looking so I can see why none of that would matter.
Ophelia: I'm sorry about Robert.
Eleanor: Yeah. I'm sorry about your mom.
Ophelia: You knew my mother?
Eleanor: From a distance. She was elegant, your mom. And your poor father, he was so tortured.
Ophelia: I guess so.
Eleanor: I know so. You know, when I quit university last year, I used to kick about and try to go unrecognized. And mostly, I'd end up in this park stealing things from homeless people. Anyway, I would see your dad there. And he would sit on this bench. It was always the same bench. And he would just weep. You know, like he was gutted inside.
Ophelia: Are you sure that was my father?
Eleanor: He had this book.
Ophelia: "All Creatures Great and Small." It's how he met my mom.
Eleanor: She was reading that book in the park and they had a chat about it. So anyway, this went on for weeks. And eventually, my mother summoned him and told him enough was enough. Do you know what he did? Your dad? He looked her right in the eyes, his boss, the queen of England, and he said, "Sack me or deal with it. My wife deserves a lifetime of tears, and not even the queen will decide when enough is enough." Your dad's a badass. Everyone knows it.
Ophelia: Everyone except me. I gotta go. Hey. Thank you. You're a badass, too.
[Ophelia leaves]
Eleanor: No. I'm just a bitch with money and power. But I do make it look good.
== Scene 27 ==
Ophelia walks in her house.
Ted: You were out late.
[Ophelia hugs Ted]
Ted: Hey, what's all this about?
Ophelia: I just want to say that I love you. Because I do. Goodnight, dad.
[Ted stares at Ophelia]
Ophelia: What?
Ted: Are you going to tell me why the queen was standing in my living room or am I meant to pretend it never happened?
Ophelia: She just wanted to hang out. We're kind of besties, me and the queen. She wanted to tell me not to see Liam. She also threatened you, took a cheap shot at mom, and was pretty much a complete bitch. And before you say anything, I want to say that I'm sorry. Again. A girl has a few fun and tonics and all hell breaks loose.
Ted: Do you want to see Liam?
Ophelia: Dad, there's no seeing, okay? We hang out. And no, I wasn't planning on it.
Ted: Good. Because I agree with the queen. I think it's for the best. But if you change your mind, don't for a second worry about me, or my job, or what the queen wants, or any of it. Okay?
Ophelia: Really?
Ted: She might rule a nation, but that icy bitch had no hold on my daughter's heart. Besides, they've taken enough from us already.
Ophelia: Thanks, dad.
== Scene 28 ==
Ophelia is sitting on the couch using her phone.
Ted: Well, you might not want to hang out with him, but he certainly seems to want to hang out with you. Next king of England on his way up.
Ted: Good morning, sir.
Liam: Good morning, Ted. Hi.
Ophelia: Oh, hey. What's up?
Liam: Sorry to come unannounced.
Ophelia: That's what she said.
Liam: Wow. So Eleanor said you and my mom are hanging out now.
Ophelia: Yeah, we go to the mall together, trade clothes, threaten each other.
Liam: I should have warned you. It's kind of what we do. I meet someone, she threatens them. It passes for love in our family.
Ophelia: It's fine. I mean, it's nice of you to stop by, but totally unnecessary.
Liam: Good, because that's not why I stopped by. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime. What's that sludge that you drink? Iced soy dirty girl?
Ophelia: Iced dirty chai with soy. It's delicious. You should try it.
Liam: I plan to. With you, if you say yes.
Ophelia: I don't know.
Liam: It's just coffee, Ophelia.
Ophelia: If that's your story. Fine. Coffee. You and me. Me and the future king of England, having all the coffee.
Liam: Um, yeah. A little awkward, but I'm still in. I'll text you.
Ophelia: Okay.
Liam: I've got to go.
Ophelia: Hey. Thanks for stopping by.
Liam: I wanted to. Had nothing to do with the queen.
Ophelia: This is gonna suck.
== Scene 29 ==
Eleanor is sitting next to Robert's casket and a bunch of flowers.
Eleanor: Hey, Robby. I miss you and I'm going to miss you. I'll be fine, you know me. Look out for Liam, though. I think he's going to need it.
[Eleanor walks to the car; Jasper is standing by the door]
Jasper: Where to, your highness?
Eleanor: Have you ever been to Paris, Jasper? Oh, it's a beautiful city.
== Scene 30 ==
Simon and Liam are taking a walk by the city.
Liam: Dad, are you considering abolishing the monarchy because of me? Because you don't believe in me?
Simon: No. I'm considering it because I do believe in you. And because I want something more for you.
Liam: What could be more than king?
Simon: Love. A family raised beyond the tabloids and the walls of a castle. A life lived and not destined. I like Ophelia very much.
Liam: Me too.
Simon: Her mother was killed because of me. Because men always choose the wrong things. They stalk power and wealth and provolone things they think will make them whole. And it never does. But her father chose duty and honor and service to the king.
Liam: Those aren't frivolous things.
Simon: No. If you asked him could he do it all over again, what road do you think he'd travel? Ted chose duty over love. Robert chose honor over his own path. Choose love. Choose your own path. Those are the roads to travel, my son. Come on.
== Scene 31 ==
Eleanor is laying in her bed with Jasper and another girl.
Eleanor: Hey, go home. You're welcome. Get out.
[Girl leaves]
Eleanor: I apologize in advanced, Jasper, for getting you sacked. But let's be honest, I mean, you were a dead man walking anyway.
Jasper: Probably so. What do you remember from last night.
Eleanor: Erm, nothing, Jasper. You were perfectly forgettable.
[Jasper gets up and buttons his shirt]
Jasper: It's just that I remember everything.
Eleanor: Yeah, well, like I said. You're very welcome.
Jasper: I remember being at the club. And I remember the drugs that I put in your drink. And I remember every sordid, depraved, self-loathing thing that you did after that. And if I forget, I can always just watch the video. So I think I'll keep this job. Oh! And I like the benefits.
[Jasper walks toward the door, pulls the comforter off the bed, and leaves]
== Scene 32 ==
Cyrus: Hereditary power. Entrenched privilege. Can you really give all of this up?
Simon: I can and I will.
Cyrus: And do what? What would you did? Who would you be?
Simon: No one's ever asked me that before. I would like to have been a fisherman. And you, brother? If you could have chosen your own destiny? If you could have been anything at all? What would you have been?
Cyrus: King.
[Cyrus aims his gun and shoots right above Simon's head and some geese]
Simon: That was close, brother.
Cyrus: Long live the king.
== Scene 33 ==
Liam and Ophelia put on sunglasses and prepare to leave the palace.
Liam: Are you ready to get some tea?
Ophelia: Coffee. I'll give it a shot.
Liam: Okay, here's the thing. It might get a little crazy out there.
Ophelia: I'll be fine. It's just coffee.
Liam: If that's your story. But just in case, I'm right here.
[Liam and Ophelia walk out the doors and get in the car]
Category:Episode scripts
Category:Scripts