Joe Rogan

The commentator for the UFC.
"This might be the best BJ we have ever seen." - Rogan commenting on BJ Penn's performance during the second fight with Matt Hughes.
“Omigawa’s moving forward like a Karate robot.” -Joe Rogan
"Anderson Silva is not a door." - Joe Rogan commenting on the fight between Chris Leben and Anderson Silva.
"I think i just heard Rich Franklin run to the gym." Joe Rogan, after Silva destroyed Leben.
Joe Rogan: "Think of leg kicks as like in a video game. The more they take, their power goes right down."
"Ninety percent of the crowd is watching a fight in the crowds." - Joe Rogan, during the Kendall Grove-Ricardo Almeida bout. The two women involved received $60,000 fight of the night bonuses.
"I'd like to say hello to my friend Wesley Snipes. Sign the contract, let's do this!"
"If you put Phil Baroni's brain in Pedro Rizzo's body, he would not lose." - Joe.
"There was something extra special about those fights. Part of it was that they were in Japan, and their culture is so much different than ours. The pageantry of the event was off the charts – giant video screen entrances that really built up the hype, and rules that were quite different than we have here.
First of all, they didn’t allow elbows on the ground, because they caused cuts and they didn’t like the idea of a cut stopping a fight. Although elbows on the ground are very effective weapons, the people running Pride felt like it was better to leave them out to avoid potential indecisive doctor stoppages. What they were allowed to do however, is stomp each other in the head while they’re down and soccer kick each other in the face while they’re down. THAT is some pretty brutal shit, and there’s something about that added element of danger that just cranks the dial up on the excitement meter considerably when you’re watching it." - Joe on his blog, talking about Pride.
"One of the fights on Spike Friday night was Rampage vs Arona, a fight that ended with the most insane slam in the history of the sport. Rampage was caught in Arona’s triangle, and he hoisted him through the air up over his head like a pillow and slammed the back of his skull into the floor in fly swatter fashion, knocking him completely unconscious. I remember having seen it at home thinking it was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in sports. I, and the folks watching it with me that night were legitimately concerned that Arona might in fact be dead. The sheer savagery of the slam forced me to rewind it at least 5 times, because it couldn’t possibly been as bad as I thought it was. Every time I watched it, the crazier it seemed." - Joe talking about the Arona slam.
"Having these shows airing on Spike right now is a real fucking treat." - Joe talking about Best of Pride.
"Houston Alexander is for reeeeeeeal." Joe Rogan.
" I mean... young mixed martial arts fighters at home, watch this man, look at the dedication that he displays. This is a real showcase right here. This shows to you that hard work and discipline can really pay off." - Joe Rogan about Sean Sherk, just before he was stripped of his title for using steroids.
""Hurry up, I gotta pee!" Joe Rogan talking about the lackluster fight between Gabriel Gonzaga and Kevin Jordan.
"He even drinks his own urine. Appearently, urine is some of the most clean things you can drink" - Joe Rogan on Cummo or urine drinking, not sure which. During a Cummo fight.