Cooking with Cartoons

Cooking with cartoon characters!
==Recipes==
*Pasta and Beans﻿ Skillet
*Baked Asparagus Dip
*Zucchini Patties with Dill Dip
*Evil Peperoni Pinwheels
*Salty Pretzels with Homemade Mustard
==Transcript==
*Remy: You're clean, pal... move it along. Uggh. 
*(Django and Emile arrives)
*Emile: Hey, little brother!
*Django: Are you finished yet?
*Remy: Just about, Dad. Can't rat work in peace around here?
*Django: Now listen, the old lady's naptime is almost over. Get crackin' and collect those apple cores before she wakes up... There's more stuff to be collected, boy. So get movin'. And for cryin' out loud, Emile, stop eating all our supplies.
*Emile: What supplies?
*Django: Remy, keep an eye on your brother. Make sure he leaves some for the rest of us.
*(Django walks away)
*Emile: Why are you walking like that?
*Remy: Because I eat with these paws.
*Emile: Well...alright go head, but Dad won't like it. Last thing he wants is for you to act human. 
*Remy: Yeah, I know.
*Emile: Remy, come on. Dad wants us to get some apple cores... Maybe I'll even show you some sweet moves along the way. Look, food!!!!! Follow me to pick up them up!!! 
*Remy: Hey, I thought we were working together on this.
*Emile: We are. I'll get the food on the flowerpots while you snag these.
*Remy: Thanks for the tip. Great. That'll work. Oh, yeah. Thank you. 
*Emile: Hey, Remy, watch me use my amazing muscles to get up on the flowerpots.
*Remy: This oughta be good.
*Emile: Okay, why don't you try it?
*Remy: Whoa! But... but how...
*Emile: I know... pretty amazing, huh. Sometimes I'm not quite sure myself. But hey, just pick the food and meet me over at the fishing net. 
*Remy: Okay, okay. Great. 
*Emile: Now, the master's gonna do some climbing here. Watch and learn, little brother... oops! 
*Remy: Master, huh?
*Emile: I can't be amazing all the time. I'll go around. 
*Remy: That'll work.
*Emile: I got an idea. We can use those cans to get on the roof. They look light enough to pick up. 
*Remy: Wait a minute. I'm usually the one with the great ideas.
*Emile: You mean all the great ideas that get me in trouble? Anyways, I'll wait for you near the window. 
*Remy: Okay, okay. 
*Emile: Hey Remy, check out my acrobatic skills. 
*Remy: Emile! What are you doing? You're gonna hurt yourself!
*Emile: Don't worry... I'm... an expert... try that little brother. I'll be waiting over on the chest. Look, some apple cores! Use that super-sniffer of yours to find 'em all. I'll meet you when you're done. 
*Remy: Wait... why do I have to do all the... work?
*Emile: Oh, look a ball. Watch this... we can use it to go over there... Ooohh, ooooohh!
*Remy: Ouch... you okay, Emile? Let me show you how it's done.
*Emile: Oh, don't forget to pick up the food then meet me at the window. Okay, now we're going to use this rope to get to the roof over there. 
*Remy: WHAT? Are you crazy? We're rats, not birds!
*Emile: Ahh, never mind, just watch how it's done. Notice how I use my considerable girth to balance. I call this one The Great Balancing Rat... Run. 
*Remy: This I gotta see. 
*Emile: Just watch and learn. Meet me down there on the wall... and don't forget the apple cores. Not bad, little brother, you've got some skills. Now we're gonna land on those sparkly posts. Watch this! 
*Remy: You should be careful... you might break something.
*Emile: Can you please just watch? Then meet me over there by the pile of wood? Okay, you can use boxes like this to hide. Just pick it up and climb underneath, and you can move around unnoticed. 
*Remy: So, if I'm in the box, no one can see me?
*Emile: Exactly. Lemme show you how to defend yourself. We'll use that was a weapon. 
*Remy: Emile, you're really starting to freak me out. Where did you learn how to do all this? 
*Emile: Seriously... I really don't know. 
*Remy: Who ARE you? You think you know somebody.
*Emile: Last thing, we're almost done. This one is about rafting and believe me little brother. I'm an expert in that, so just watch and learn. And don't forget how to pick up the food.
*Remy: I know, you've told me that, like, a hundred times. 
*Emile: Yeah, yeah... Just follow me! Uh, why'd you wanna come up here again? 
*Remy: Well... I need your help. 
*Emile: With what?
*Remy: This... It's a cookbook by Auguste Gusteau, my favorite chef with all sorts of mouth-watering delicies.
*Emile: Wow... wow Remy. I didn't know you could read?!
*Remy: Just come on, we'll get it now and I'll tell you more later.
*Emile: Daddy! Everyone -run for your lives! We're all gonna die! 
*Remy: Ugh. Disgusting stank water. Where am I? Nobody saids it would be easy. Wha'... what's going on? 
*Gusteau: Excusz-moi, but I am Auguste Gusteau. 
*Remy: I... I know who you are.
*Gusteau: Silence... and look there... So, mon ami... do you recognize this place? 
*Remy: I'm not certain, but...
*Gusteau: Go on... 
*Remy: Paris!
*Gusteau: Yes... 
*Remy: Did you lead me here? Why? Aren't you just a figment of my imagination? 
*Gusteau: Oui, I am a figment of your imagination, but inspiration comes to us all... especially chefs. The critics have dropped my restaurant from five stars to four. I believe you, mon petit ami, can help me get that star back. 
*Remy: Rebuild Gusteau's? I think I can handle that. Back to work. 
*Emile: We thought we'd never see you again...this is great...you're back home! Wait til Dad finds out.
*(Django arrives)
*Django: Finds out what? Remy, thank goodness you're alive! 
*Remy: Dad, it' great to see you too, but what are you doing... here!?
*Django: We're here because of your hare-brained scheme back at the cottage. It's hard to move a village you know. Finding a new poison checker has been a complete disaster. 
*Remy: Sorry, Dad. But I'm here now and I want to help.
*Django: Alright, alright. Follow me and we'll get to work. Ah Remy, I've been waiting for you. 
*Remy: Sorry Dad, I got lost and ended up in Paris.
*Django: Speaking of good food... They feed dogs a bucket of scraps in countryard every day. We need to get a hold of that bucket. 
*Remy: Yeah, but how?
*Django: Ah, don't worry about it. Just use that nose of yours to find the other rats in the countryard. They know all the details... but remember; beware of the dogs! 
*Remy: Dogs... great. 
*Gusteau: So Remy left the simple life of the country behind him... and came to Paris... where life is much more... how you say? Uhh... complicated. 
*Rat: Remy, there you are. Gusteau's restaurant is right over there, just a few meters away... that's the good news.
*Remy: And the bad news?
*Rat: The bad news is there's a crazy dog guarding the entrance to the courtyard. You're gonna need to find a dog bone to lure the thing away. 
*Remy: Got it. Let's go.
*Rat 2: Hey good job! Dogs aren't so smart after all, huh? Now we need to disable those rattraps... It's not safe for us out there. Can you do this? 
*Remy: Alright, so what do I do?
*Rat 2: Hey... I got it. Why don't you find some spoons to disable the traps? It's dangerous out there. Be careful! 
*Remy: All right... got it. Whew. Made it. I think I've got this hike thing trouble no problem. Made it by whisker. 
*Rat 3: That's done... good... listen, on the rooftops there's a coin we need in the net. Find it... then drop it down the rain gutter. 
*Remy: This is insane. We're doing all this for... for garbage? Food is good. Food is most definitely good. 
*Rat 3: Hurry up, Remy! Emile's waiting for you to start the mission! 
*Remy: Okay, I'm on it!
*Emile: Okay, now is the time to make our move. Give each rat a go sign, then you'll have to signal the way out to the other rats. Remember... you need to be fast.
*Remy: Sounds easy enough. I'm on my way. 
*Linguini: Even I know a ray anywhere near a kitchen is bad for business. 
*Remy: Not good. Gotta go! 
*Linguini: B-b-but why... how? Either I hit my head harder than I thought, or you're that rat... th-that helped me with the soup! Doesn't matter. Thing is, I could use a tiny chef like you around the kitchen. How about I promise not to chase you anymore... and you promise to teach me to cook? Okay then, it's a deal. Ya know, I think this might be the start of something very special. Can you start tomorrow? 
*Gusteau: Ooph... let's see; dark, smelly, wet... the perfect place for a colony of rats! Allez! See how the darts are being put to use... 
*Remy: Who's the rat? I'm the rat.
*Django: Come on Remy, hurry up!
*Remy: I AM hurrying!
*Django: The food is in the cooler. Get into the kitchen, and find the other rats. They'll tell you what to do. 
*Remy: So you want me to take food? I'm not sure that's right...
*Django: Son, it's for the colony...
*Remy: ...the colony. I know, Dad.
*Django: Remember, to find the other rats... try sniffing them out.
*Gusteau: And here we are in the kitchen... the heart and the soul of Gusteau's. There, where the cake is being prepared, is the patisserie. That is the dish washing area... and the stove - where we saute, poach, and grill our creations to perfection... Followed by the canape area where they make the soup. And finally, the cold storage, where the best ingredients are kept! Are you ready to explore the most famous kitchen in all of Paris? 
*Rat: You need to get to the main gas switch and turn it off so all the kitchen burners will go out... that should grab the humans' attention for a moment. Use a can to access the shelves over there. Hurry! 
*Remy: Anything else?
*Rat: Yeah, make sure enemies don't steal your can. 
*Colette: Linguini! We need the chef's special, we need it now!! Hummm, not bad! 
*Rat 2: Okay now Remy, we're heading home now. You need to get to the closet door. We'll throw you a rope when you get there.
*Remy: Doorknob... got it. I've never knew become a chef is so complicated and dangerous.
*Rat 3: The key to the food safe is over there... go get it and bring it back to me! Hurry! Watch out for the thieves that might try to steal it. 
*Remy: Don't worry. I'll be alright. I gotta handle, mistro. Couldn't it be simple. Couldn't it? 
*Emile: Hahaha... it's a good job Remy. Now we need to get what we came for - the food! You know what to do. Just give the signal to each of the rats. 
*Skinner: A rat! Not in my kitchen!
*Django: Ah Remy, I got a job for you, son.
*Remy: Not more stealing, Dad... Okay?
*Django: It's NOT stealing! We're going to the biggest market in Paris. Today's shipment day and we're gonna make the most it! 
*Remy: I know the drill Dad, don't worry.
*Django: Be careful son... we're counting on you.
*Gusteau: This... my friend... is the market, where every great dish begins. Beware of humans. If they notice or catch you, it's au revoir Remy'... Here we have the fish and produce vendors, la boulangerie for our baked goods, and le boucher... how do you say... 'the butcher'? For our meats. Are you ready to get some food? 
*Rat: Remy, your first assignment is to find a fuse and bring it to me. 
*Remy: A fuse? What for?
*Rat: I need it to start the forklift.
*Remy: Alright, I'll do it. 
*Rat 2: Hey Remy... you ready for more ha-ha? We need you to go move some food in the market so we can get it later. 
*Remy: There aren't any dogs there?
*Rat 2: No, no, no... no dogs, but there are humans so be careful.
*Remy: Seems like an easy assignment. I'm just glad there's no dogs...
*Rat 4: Okay Remy, we're almost done here, this next bit is tricky. 
*Remy: Tricky, smicky... what is it?
*Rat 4: Follow that old lady, and put the food in her bag so we can get it from her later. 
*Remy: So we're stealing from the market and then stealing from the old lady? Gusteau would be furious with me. 
*Rat 4: Who's Gusteau?
*Remy: He's the chef, see? And... oh forget it... I'm in.
*Rat 4: If you've got a question about something... you should ask your father. 
*Skinner: Filthy vermin!! You can't escape from me! 
*Django: The other humans have cleared out. You've got to get in there and help your friend finish this meal, and we're gonna help. The last thing we want is to lose this restaurant and its wonderful food supply. 
*Remy: When it comes to cooking... I'm always ready!
*Django: That human is still here and he's completely mad. You are gonna have to find a way outta here... How about the bathroom? 
*Remy: Okay, Dad, don't worry. I can handle this.
*Gusteau: Ahhh, poor Linguini! The other chefs seem to have left him to complete the dinner rush alone! But one chef's crisis may another chef's opportunity. You must help him, Remy. are you ready?
*Rat 2: We gotta get rid of that human. 
*Remy: Okay, but how?
*Rat 2: Hey... lure him into the closet. Once he's there, we'll lock him up. 
*Remy: Not all humans dislike us Git, but this one does. 
*Rat: Remy, the kitchen's filled with rattraps. You need to get rid of them. Use a spoon and swing at the traps or lure an enemy into them. 
*Remy: All right, I'm on it.
*Rat 4: She needs Gusteau's recipe book. Get it out of the office and get it back to her.
*Remy: Okay, I'm on my way. I think I got this hike thin under control no problem. 
*Emile: We need to do our best to help save the Restaurant... aaaaaaaah!!! 
*Colette: Hurry, the critic just ordered... he's waiting!!! 
*Linguini: Well Little Chef, looks like Gusteau's ruined!
*Remy: So with Gusteau's closed down, the spirit of the place, the soul of great cooking, lives on La Ratatouille. Because Linguini and I understand something that Skinner never will. It is something Gusteau preached his whole life: anyone can cook... but the only fearless can be great! 
----
*Django: Remy! Have you finished your job today? It's very important to check the colony's food for poison!
*Remy: I'm doing it now, dad. Sheesh!
*Emile: You know, Remy, there's all sorts of food possibilities here. Once you muscle your way past the gag reflex you'll find there's all sort of stuff you can eat.
*Remy: Yeah... garbage! There's a world of great food out there, Emile, and I'm stuck here with... garbage! Wait, what's that smell? C'mon, let's see what it is! 
*Emile: Dad's not goin to like this. Why do I always go along with your ideas.
*Mabel: !!!
*Remy: Look out Emile! RUN!! Gusteau's cookbook! I can't leave that behind! I'm hungry and I've just my family and friends. Probably forever. 
*Gusteau: If you focus on what you've left behind you will never be able to see what lies ahead. If you are hungry, why not have a look around Remy?
*Linguini: So, you're a rat, but you can cook? Maybe you could help me? But how? You can't be in the kitchen? So Gusteau is my dad? 
*Skinner: Where did you get that? It's mine!
*Colette: Actually, it's Linguini's now. He rightfully owns Chez Gusteau's.
*Linguini: You're fired, Skinner. I'm going to make Gusteau's better than it ever was!
*Skinner: What!!!! Argh!!
*Linguini: I'm not your puppet anymore. Now that I'm in charge, it's time for you to take a break little chef. 
*Emile: Hey! Remy's back!
*Django: This is where you belong, son. Welcome home.
*Remy: But I love to cook, dad. It makes me happy. I'm just here to visit. I...I can't stay.
*Linguini: Little chef! The top critic Anton Ego is coming to Gusteau's tonight! Will you help me? 
*Colette: Linguini? A rat is cooking?
*Linguini: I'm sorry Colette. The truth is I can't really cook, but this little rat can.
*Colette: How could you?
*Narrator: For Colette and the rest of the chefs this was too much to bear.
*Linguini: What are we going to do now?
*Remy: Dad! What are you doing here?
*Django: We're here to help, son. 
*Ego: I haven't tasted a meal like this in ages. Who do I thank for this meal?
*Linguini: It wasn't me... Wait until everyone's gone, then you can meet the real chef.
*Ego: Well then, he is the best chef in all of Paris!
*Narrator: ...our secret was out and Gusteau's was shut down by the Health Inspector. Linguini, Colette, and I opened a new resturant with the help of a famous critic...and it has become the talk of the town. 
----
*Remy: Now I can... Hey, what's that on TV?
*Announcer: ...Gusteau's restaurant lost one of its five stars after a poor review, a blow to the great chef that...
*Remy: Gusteau... No! 
*Emile: Quick, Remy! Run!
*Remy: She knows we're here! Can't forget the cookbook! Wait...! Oh noooo... 
*Gusteau: Remy, why do you mope?
*Remy: I've lost my family and friends, probably forever. 
*Gusteau: Ah, but if you do not look, ahead, how will you see where to go? Cheer up, Remy! 
*Remy: I... I suppose.
*Gusteau: I know what will help. Remy, imagine if you could cook at Chez Gusteau!
*Remy: Aren't you a figment of my imagination?
*Gusteau: That makes this even easier! Now, close your eyes and imagine you were cooking in my kitchen... Now, it's time to explore. Go up to the streets!
*Remy: Aren't the street dangerous?
*Gusteau: Sometimes you must rise above the dangers in your life, my little friend!
*Remy: Hey, yeah! I'll bet if I climbed out of the sewers, I could really get my bearings... 
*Gusteau: That's not really, um yes...sure. That's what I meant.
*Remy: All these walls. I wonder where I am.
*Gusteau: Upwards! Let us find a vantage point, and find out!
*Remy: Paris? All this time I've been underneath Paris? 
*Gusteau: It's beautiful... Yes?
*Remy: It's Chez Gusteau! You led me to your restaurant!
*Gusteau: I did? Yes, there it is! I have led you to it! 
*Remy: Then why wait? Let's take a look! I can't believe I'm looking into your kitchen.
*Gusteau: I can't hardly believe it myself.
*Remy: Hey, that garbage boy just spilled the soup - and now he's running it! I - uh oh - 
*Gusteau: Remy, it is not safe for you! Find a way to escape the kitchen!
*Remy: He is ruining the soup, and I need to escape...
*Gusteau: But you know how to fix it. This is your chance...
*Remy: Are you planning to appear out of nowhere on a regular bass?
*Gusteau: You just need to find ten ingredients. What are you waiting for? 
*Remy: Now it's time to fix the soup quickly before I get caught! Delicious! Oh, no! 
*Skinner: Take care of this... this rat!
*Linguini: Wait - you can understand me? And you can cook? All right, little chef. I let you go and you help me cook. We have a deal! But first we have to learn to work together... And I have to hide you when we're in the kitchen! All right, little chef. Let's see what you can do! 
*Remy: I can't cook without washing my hands.
*Gusteau: But there are humans near the sink! 
*Remy: I'll find another sink where I won't be noticed. 
*Linguini: Now that your paws are clean, get familiar wit the kitchen. Find the fifteen ingredients and see how they taste! 
*Skinner: Welcome... yo your worst nightmare. Recreate that soup, boy, or you'll wish you were already fired! Little Chef, I know you can help cook, but I need recipes or he'll suspect I'm a fake. There must be recipes hidden around here somewhere. Can you find them? Well done, Little Chef! While I look at this, please find all the ingredients we're going to need. Go find them, and we'll cook! 
*(Meanwhile...)
*Skinner: No one knows that Linguini is Gusteau's son. And if they find out before Gusteau's will expires, I lose everything! 
*Talon: How can they find out? Just wait, and will all be fine.
*Skinner: It better be! But I think Linguini is tricking me. He is taunting me with his rat.
*Talon: His... Rat?
*Skinner: Yes! And I will catch him! 
*Linguini: I can't believe a rat is going to help me with gourmet cooking? But let's recreate that soup... and more! 
*Mustafa: They liked it! All want a 'Linguini Original'! 
*Linguini: Yes! 
*Skinner: No! 
*Linguini: Nicely done, Little Chef. Time to take a break.
*Remy: I think I'll go outside and see the stars.
*Emile: Remy?
*Remy: Emile!
*Emile: I can't believe you're okay! Dad has really missed you. Come on, I'll bring you back to the sewers. 
*Remy: Well, actually...
*Emile: What are you waiting around for? I'm gonna be a hero for finding you!
*Remy: Um, well, it'll be nice a visit... 
*Emile: Visit? You'll never want to leave! I'll go ahead and tell them. C'mon!
*Django: I've missed you, son! And we've needed a poison checker.
*Remy: Yeah, Dad, I'm...
*Django: We'll talk after we eat, my boy! Go help the others sniff out dinner back up in Paris. And good to have you home!
*Remy: But, Dad... Oh, okay. We'll talk afterwards. Look, I have a new life. I love my family, but I need...
*Django: You need?
*Remy: Dad, I - 
*Django: Go then. Don't let me keep you. 
*Linguini: You're back! Just in time. Skinner is making me prove that I can do more than just cook. And I can't even do that! I need your help. Thank so much, Little Chef. I don't know what I'd do without you. 
*Skinner: Aha! I have... You? 
*Linguini: Yes, Chef Skinner? 
*Skinner: You don't have a rate here! Don't lie! 
*Linguini: Chef? A Rat? I'm sorry. I'll, err, just get back to work. That was close! Now, we'll need lots of ingredients before we can cook tonight. You must track all down 20. Excellent. And now, Little Chef, a 'Linguini Original'! 
*Remy: After all that cooking, I could use a snack. Time to look around and find myself something delicious.
*Emile: Hiya, Remy!
*Remy: Hi! Let me guess, you're hungry?
*Emile: Wow! How'd you know? I had something for breakfast, but it was sort of gray. And smelly. Your food is better! 
*Remy: Okay. But the freezer is locked. I'll need to get the key from Skinner's office. Hey, this letter says that Linguini is Gusteau's son... and the restaurant is his! Skinner is cheating him! I've got to show him this. 
*Skinner: Sacrebleu, the rat! Get back here with that letter!
*Remy: I escaped, but Linguini has to know!
*Skinner: What is going on here? Why are you in my office?
*Colette: His office, according to these papers. And his resturant! 
*Remy: Now that he's all famous, Linguini acts like he doesn't need me. I can't believe he's doing this. 
*Emile: Hey little bro, think you can help you get more food?
*Remy: I... This is your lucky day, Emile. I'll see what I can do. Now that I'm inside, I need grab food from the food safe and get back outside to Emile. Here you go, Emile. 
*Emile: Thanks Remy! We owe you big time! 
*Ego: I have heard big things about this restaurant, and about the young pretender who call himself 'Chef'.
*Linguini: -Gulp-
*Ego: I will eat whatever you dare bring you. Tell your chef to 'hit me with his best shot. 
*Linguini: Err... So, we should... ...cook... Something... Wait. I need to tell the truth. This rat, he's the cooking genius! He's been cooking, not me. He can save the day! Are you with me? 
*Colette: I'm sorry, Linguini. No.
*Django: Remy. It took real guts to stand in front of humans like that... I couldn't have done it. I'm proud of ya, son. Whatever help the colony can give us, is yours. 
*Remy: Thanks, Dad. I'm going to need everyone's help on this.
*Django: Not everyone is here! But I may know a shortcut. 
*Remy: Then I better go get them - and fast! Everyone - come with me. I have a plan! 
*Linguini: Uhm, I hope this works, Little Chef.
*Remy: Everyone has part of the meal to cook. This has to be perfect. Let's go! 
*Ego: That is the most extraordinary dish I ever had.
*Linguini: But I am not the chef.
*Ego: Then who is?
*Linguini: When everyone leaves... 
*Remy: They closed down Chez Gusteau's, of course, A Health Inspector saw to that. But it was the greatest night of my life. Ego was fired from his job, but he's doing very well as a silent partner. Here - at 'La Ratatouille.'
==Gallery==
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Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Crossovers