Thieving With Mr. Cooper

is a fanfiction that involves a fangirl joining a heist with The Cooper Gang, only to mess it up.
== Plot ==
=== Act I: "Forget the Rest! I Just Found the Best!" ===
Lindsay has travelled to Paris. And during the night, she gets a craving and does a night run for a snack, despite the danger surrounding the area. When she sees a certain raccoon, who is contemplating what his comrades told him about finding someone outside their gang to help them with a certain job. She thinks "Hello! Forget the rest, I just found the best!" He spots her, winks and tips the brim of his hat slightly, telling her to stay safe. Of course, knowing Lindsay, she takes any sort of attention as an invitation. She decides to follow him, and tries her best not to be caught by him. He picks up on being followed anyway, even though he doesn't see her even as he reaches the safehouse. After being asked by Murray if he's found any potential impromptu members, not remembering what "those guys in chess that don't matter" are, and Bentley tells him they're called "pawns". Lindsay suddenly pops out of Sly's hat, and he jokes "Look what followed me home, Bentley. Can I keep her?" Lindsay hugs Sly and introduces herself by full name, making him uncomfortable and he says "...Of course you are." He gets a vibe of her selfish nature once she says her usual line of "you better remember that name, because one day, I'm going to be famous", and he digs through her pockets as she's hugging him, only finding candy wrappers. He notices they are the same type of candy bars Murray likes, and the hippo also takes notice of this. Lindsay starts telling stories about how she broke her sister's possessions (a piggy bank and a desk) when her sister made her mad, which Murray thinks is cool.
Bentley tells the rest of the gang all about the next heist that they'll pull. Lindsay, upon finding out they are thieves, threatens to rat them out until they pull her back in and say that she'll get some of the loot out of it, and that they'd be stealing something that someone else already stole. Unable to point out any sort of logic behind that, and lovestruck, she agrees to go on with it. 
Murray whispers to his friends that if Lindsay says one more cool thing, that he'll be smitten with her, even though she seems more interested in Sly. 
The next scene shows her attempts to dig her hooks into the master thief, including an attempt at following him into the shower, but she instead catches Bentley there. 
=== Act II: "I Told You To Wait Outside" ===
It cuts to a monologue like in the game series, only for Lindsay to interrupt, saying that Sly shouldn't be monologuing because it's her show. Out on the field, we are shown Sly's portion of the job, as he uses a grappling hook to scale the roof of the museum and climbs up the rope. He feels something tug at it while climbing, and he looks down and sees Lindsay, who is looking up at him and says, "Best view in Paris," which makes Sly try to pull the bottom of his shirt down. When they reach the window, where Sly cuts a hole in, Lindsay asks what she can do, and he tells her, in an attempt to get her out of the way, to keep watch outside for anyone that might try and stop them. As Sly attempts to remove the artifact from its display, Lindsay appears across from him. He says, "I told you to wait outside." After tripping an alarm, mostly on Lindsay's part, Carmelita Fox chases after them, and shoots Lindsay, being the slower one. The blast from the shock pistol is too intense for the chipmunk, who vomits from it, much to Sly's disgust. Sly calls Bentley and Murray to bring the van over, (and possibly a mop) as Lindsay is paralyzed. Back at the safehouse, Murray carries Lindsay over to the couch, saying he liked holding her in his arms. Lindsay babbles, and Sly tells her not to talk, as nobody's listening anyway. Bentley discusses booting Lindsay out and telling her she is when she comes to.
=== Act III: "Nobody touches that raccoon... but me!" ===
When Lindsay regains consciousness, she complains "Owww... my... everything," before the Cooper gang tells her she's out, and that she should head back to where she came from. Lindsay, indignant about being let go, says "So, you're just gonna dump me? Just like that? Well, you can't do that, because I'm leaving!" Lindsay is back at her hotel, and it just so happens to be the next location of a heist the gang is going to pull. Sly enters through a window, but it's the wrong one, which happens to be in Lindsay's room. He says he made a mistake when she questions him on it. Lindsay makes a suggestion of what he could do as long as he's in her room, which visibly makes him uncomfortable. He says that maybe the lowest scum of the earth would pull that, but that is not his thing. Lindsay says "Did I ask? I think you owe me a little, Cooper!" before jumping him, and he tells her to stop. Just at that moment, Carmelita Fox arrives on the scene, sees Lindsay and a visibly frightened Sly and says "Freeze!" Sly says that it's an awkward time to arrest him now, but Carmelita says she's here to haul Lindsay away. Carmelita mentions what Lindsay's offense is, and goes on to say that Sly can get a court appeal to get a restraining order against Lindsay, which he thanks Carmelita for. Carmelita says that scum like Lindsay make her sick, then whispers fiercely to the chipmunk "And I'll have you know, nobody touches that raccoon... but me!" Carmelita says she'll deal with Sly later, only to see he has disappeared again. Lindsay is wailing, but nobody answers her cries. The Inspector tells Lindsay that she has the right to remain silent, which the chipmunk says she'll waive, until Carmelita conks her on the head with her shock pistol. Murray is a little upset that Lindsay was taken, and Bentley says "better her than us," to which Sly agrees and they drive off.
We then see Lindsay in jail, complaining about the stripes making her look fat, when Dr. Maraschino and Bradley arrive with the dimensional warp device and warp her back home.
==Trivia==
*This one was the most edited story in the series. There were even possible alternate endings, such as one where Lindsay is tricked into marrying Dimitri.
*It is uncertain when in the timeline this takes place. It is clearly in between games, though not any specific ones, as Penelope is not shown or mentioned, and Sly's relationship with Carmelita has not progressed to the point it did after the third game.
*The line said by Carmelita at the end "nobody touches that raccoon... but me," reflects Penelope's line about Bentley in the third game Honor Among Thieves.
Category:Sly Cooper