Seas of Avalon

= Seas of Avalon: Sumna 7th 3051- Autumnre 14 3101 =
== Summary ==
In the Seas of Avalon campaign, the crew of A Corsair Named Desire: A Ship Called Wanda (aka The Crimson Permanent Assurance) defend the gnomish city of G-Rash Bay from an Orcish invasion - and in the process learn that the war is just the latest incarnation of a millennia-long struggle between extraplanar forces.
== Season 1: 2019 (Sumna 7th - Sumna 46th 3051) ==
=== Book 1: Haul Away Joe: ===
9-22-19
~The Maiden Voyage of a Tabletop RPG Adventure~
Just finishing a several month journey aboard the merchant ship, our band of sailors is shaking off their sea legs with a few rounds of ale, cider, and liars dice. But the end of their journey will be short-lived when they meet the next adventure of the high seas!
Session notes:
Pub: The Pruned Perch (also referred to on other occasions as the Poached Perch)
Dorgan Citka, crabber, his husband Teak is missing, having gone after a lost trap too close to the pumice reef where some two dozen goblins have made a hideout doing something... unusual. We're going to go look into this at sunfall with the promise of his life savings and crabs for life.
Bobeg uses connections to learn stuff. Kiel's monk Rizzo attempts to mug someone for his gun, is knocked unconscious and mugged herself in response.
We sail. Treacherous waves. We anchor.
Swimming through an underwater point of entry, we come up in a large... latrine. There is a lobotomized ogre at water's edge and a goblin up on a raised platform. The goblin give simple orders to the ogre, which we use to our advantage. The goblin dies when the platform is pulverized. We move on toward the next chamber. We can't defeat the lock on the door, but the door can't defeat a lobotomized ogre who wants to please his new friends.
In the next chamber are a half dozen goblins mixing potions. They prepare to throw bottles at us when the ogre steps between us awaiting command.
"Mihu" is now Goblin for friend, btw.
We dispatch the alchemists and pocket some of their leftovers. Bobeg gains an alchemist kit.
We do manage to pick the lock this time, but Teeny directs the ogre to smash it anyway. We enter some barracks where the commotion from the previous room gave the goblins within time to suit up. They charge us.
We felled the goblins, though Teeny attempted to challenge two to a game of Liar's Dice... without dice... and was attacked in response.
While Bobeg prepares to pick the next lock, the ogre is directed to bash it.
Crepisto, an aged goblin, is our only adversary. He begins spraying lava throughout the room, forcing us to move to the top of the various daises. Teeny manages to persuade the goblin into attempting a swan dive... which he performs onto the ogre. We tell the ogre to spike him into the lava. This pulls the hose, filling the room faster.
There is an escape hatch high on the wall. We have the ogre assist us in reaching it, and we give him our farewells. Good thing he feels no pain.
We find Teak, drugged high as a kite. Lava's coming! We escape, emerge at the dock, blow the whistle to call Dorgan.
153 gp, and with six of us here, that's 25g5s apiece, but we return the gold in the end. (It is later revealed some individuals did not.)
Sauteed crabs and salad for breakfast, with coffee. Bobeg spikes with mead.
We are promised an interview with Captain Chuskrev of the Claymore.
===Book 2: Blow The Man Down:===
9-29-19
Our party has proven their mettle on the high seas against some nefarious goblins! In doing so, they've curried the favor of some kinship of an infamous captain: Clayton Chuskrev.
Will the Seas of Avalon be as kind to the party when they attempt to join the crew of The Claymore?
Session notes:Rizzo is gathering some of the party to go after the person she failed to mug, based on a lie. They do some investigation.
They are directed to a gunsmith by the name of Enarray. They do some bribing. "Corge" "EMS Subdragon"
Bobeg searches for some mechanical bits, finds 7 silver worth of material.
Teeny attempts to sell his crabs to no avail.
We return for dinner, a legit crab bake.
At breakfast, Teague enters, wearing a shiner. He's arranged our meeting. Also, he's canceling our contract. The bar Riptides, posthaste. Ask the bartender for The Riptide Rush.
This place is posh. Columns. Carissa's character Vivian disguises self not to look out of place. We request the drink and are shown to the "VIP room" behind the bar.
We check our weapons, mostly. Some make rolls to sneak in smaller ones.
Bobeg picks a purse containing 5 gold pieces along the way to the lounge with the Captain.
Oh, nice. We get a math puzzle to prove our worth. We succeed.
Teeny tries to intimidate some coins from one of the rejected privateers. Rolls a 1, wait, 20. Gets 10 silver.
We have to fight the remaining 8 for our place on the crew.
The last of them ran off. Teeny had tried decking the captain, so he returned the favor. 46 bludgeoning damage. We are still searching for his head.
We break for dinner while Jack retires Teeny and rerolls Cod.
We're attacked at the port by some of the dismissed applicants. We fell them.
Rizzo bribes a guard to look the other way regarding the violence we just suppressed. Some of us sell our gains.
We board the ship. Shown our quarters. Report to deck. Tattooed half orc with one tusk, Chompy Narwhal, then the captain. We're gonna have us an escort mission the next day.
The next morning, we are awakened and report to deck to find that the navy of a neighboring kingdom maaaaay be approaching thanks to international warrants on the captain. Yikes. End scene.
===Book 3: Roll The Old Chariot:===
10-6-19
Our party is finding their way to a new contracts on the high seas, albeit learning their own mortality slowly on the way.
Their mortality will once again be the topic of conversation aboard the high seas. The party is discovering that if their new captain doesn't kill them, his enemies very well might!
Session notes:I arrived late! Mid-combat, in fact.
Having evaded the privateers, we hoped to pass through a siren-protected cove by negotiating with them via Vivian. But we were charmed by a siren and had to fight her and her fishman. She was ultimately persuaded to flee, but we put her down anyway. This causes some temporary infighting as to whether that was necessary.
We are approached by other sirens who are willing to discuss and negotiate, but they want one of Carissa's "slaves" to eat in exchange.
"The snack that smiles back"
Not sure whether to trust them. But they do guide are dinghy back to the ship. We find among the privateer corpses one that still has a pulse. Tie him up, give him some schooma, and deliver him to the sirens. They will keep our pursuers busy for two nights. 
=== Book 4: The Coasts of High Barbary ===
10-13-19
After a battle at sea and the moral battle of the value of life, our party once again find themselves en route to their contracted destination. But when they find themselves at shore, they may wish they were back in the turbulent arms of the sea!
Session notes:We travel some three days, everyone does their thing. Vivian 20's the performance, the sailors are all into it. Some ancient man named Crumbsto emerges to belt the final line with her. We're invited to play liar's dice with him. Vivian wins. The rest take a shot, except Bobeg and Oonterteau (Andre) who sleight of hand their shots, and Ten who sloshes it on his face for lack of a mouth. Crumbsto passes out.
We're made to ready the ship for a storm while the rest go under for dinner. We succeed, and the captain "invites" us to his quarters to sup.
Painting of a drawf with a trident spearing the neck of a gem dragon. Map table, he rolls them up. He's glad we got Crumbsto to emerge. Salted pork!
We're headed to Mal Shokah, one of a series of islands off the east coast of Avalon. Isolationist, little travel, no markets there. Isolationist island of the orcs. Taking them to the G-rash Bay, paid a lot to get them off the island. But... his ship is particularly unwelcome there. He's putting us in charge of the contact given our recent successes and ingenuity.
Vaz Bach is our contact, orc shaman. We'll be portaled onto the island. In one hour, a return portal will be established. Be there with our cargo.
Crumbsto wakes us early and makes us a fine breakfast. We go to the deck where the portal is established. We go through in turn.
We appear in a cave. An orc shaman is being accosted by officers. We intervene when Ten's stealth is not very effective.
The chieftain has received a prophecy from a dark power that he will be killed by a Kilee. We are helping to evacuate the Kilee children.
We do our best to "blend in." Bobeg is on Haefelmere's shoulders, in a guard's armor. Vivian uses a disguise kit to make us look legit.
We are stopped along the way by a well-meaning orc. Vaz Bach is not the best, most rehearsed liar. He asks some questions and leaves.
We arrive to the children being rounded up by guards, but the guards roll 1's on their insight and believe the suggestion that they are mistaken about their orders.
We perform strength checks to rickshaw them to our cave. We then lay spikes and set fire to the cart to slow our pursuers.
When the portal opens, Rolen (Vix) joins the game. We manage to protect the children from the pursuers, but a hulking orc starts wrecking our sh*t.
Bobeg dragged the unconscious Oonterteau (Undertoenail?) through the closing portal to be the last two to escape. The orc throws his sword through after us.
===Book 5: Homeward Bound===
10-20-19
After escaping the Orcish isles by the skin of their teeth, they're going to be sailing on that same skin back to the coast of the G-Rash bay! While they have less sailors for the return trip, they have some 31 extra passengers who may not be as agreeable on the cargo deck as the party may be hoping...
Session notes:We get to go back to bed after all that. When we wake, there is a thick mist outside. Hard to tell what time it really is.
There is a "WUH" sound coming from below deck where the orc children are. Crumbsto is conducting a group game with them.
Turns out one of the 30 speaks some common, a girl named "Gomay" 8 or 9. Has an unexpectedly realistic worldview when it comes to personal safety and complacency.
Vivian sings them Baby Shark. They're into it.
A bell rings above deck, a call to arms. On deck, we barely see a ship on the horizon. We are called into the captain's quarters where the table has on it the schematics for a ship that seems to match the one approaching us. A Mal Shokah caravel coming up on our rear.
We do some mathing and determine we absolutely have time to prepare the cannons and turn the vessel such that we're firing before we're in range of their forward weapons. Team A-felmere and Team B-obeg each operate a cannon. Some called shots by the latter team destroy the mast and strike where their powder is stored to give our pursuers a Viking funeral.
A Shadar Kai ninja sneaks aboard and starts glooming those of us who were keeping watch with Darkvision. The rest come up when the ruckus begins. She teleports up the mast and slings spells at us. Eventually, Haefelmere gets up there and water whips her back to the deck with extreme malice.
In the week that follows, Haefelmere has a child-strangling adventure on the mast. Vivian rescues him.
Oonterteau interacts with the orc children, attempting to learn orcish.
Bobeg seeks Undertoenail to talk with him in private. Unloads his past and sorrows, particularly a past choice that wieghed heavily on his mind. "Bobeg is no hero." Is given a ring from Undertow's past that is important to him, from his family. Bobeg tries to refuse it, but eventually accepts and promises to treasure it.
Cod Coreman's Excellent Elixir (is actually a fart in a jar)
We approach the port. There are LOTS of orcs there. Families with luggage. They appear to be Kilee, judging by the kids we rescued. And they've been there for hours, maybe longer.
The Cpatain and Vas Bach go into his cabin to talk. Vivian eavesdrops. "Prices tripled." "I do not have it, I do not have it." Viv relays this.
The Captain goes down the gangplank to "register our arrival" with a pocket full of coin. 20 minutes, returns walking much lighter.
We've got to encourage the children into crates for delivery. After some spells fail, more level heads reason with Gomay and convince them naturally.
Tendo. We unload the crates to him. It's mostly successful. Only need to use illusion magic and mending once!
Bobeg speaks with Tendo using Thieve's Cant. Where are they headed. He will find them work. It won't be glamorous, and they probably won't like it, but they will not be harmed.
The Captain stamps our books and pays us all 200 gold apiece.
Released, Haefelmere talks Vivian (and thus others) into looking into the orc refugee situation. They talk to a dock guard, then the management that handles it. At first, it seems all good. They're rapidly building marina housing for them, all paid for, should be done in two days. But... it's being funded by the chieftain of their island? The one who wants them all dead? That's troubling, to say the least... 
===Book 6: Lowlands ===
10-27-19
After some gloom, cannonfire, and heavy moral conundrums; our party is finally back on shore where they safely deliver the refugees from the tyranny and violence of the Mal'Shoka chieftan. Thankfully, Gorpspipotaliariouverash Bay has arranged a space for the refugees to live and build their new lives. It was all thanks to the generous investments of Kyuzo, the tyrannical chieftain of of the Mal'Shoka...
(No session notes available)
===Book 7: Roll an' Go===
11-03-19
The party is learning more and more about the life of a buccaneer! There's something foul brewing at the bottom of the Burgundy Bay. What's more, there's something foul that brews when you cross the church of Moradin...
(No session notes available)
===Book 8: Merk Toch Hoe Sterk===
11-10-19
While the party was unable to successfully rescue the brother of Sir Neeb Anders, they were able to avenge his death. They now have a more complicated problem: how to escape the extraplanar depths to which they've delved...
Session notes:I missed two weeks of game to be in Japan. Alas.
Captain Gloomyfingers, human, of the galley the Royal Revenge, a pirate ship manned by humans. The ship's disposition is... such that Dan retconned and they're NOT flying the jolly roger. "Gloomy Fingies" He and his crew, fifty strong, have a terrible disease and are bleeding from the eyes.
An attache under Commadore Porcia, the privateer of all privateers. Cod had served on the Red Jester. He tries to see if we can get a bounty on the pirate ship we just guided to port, that the port is now commandeering.
We go to the Riptide, ask for the Riptide Rush, and are shown to the back.
There is a soothsayer. Rizzo slides her two gold coins. Asks about her vengeance against the gun guy. Then Rolen does. Sounds like there will be a lovers' quarrel in his future. He'll have to choose between his savior and his protector.
The Nicky Wildenschadenjatsencammer Band, headlined by a gnome. Vivian joins them with her instrument, performs well. Water elf among them named Leeward. Comes to our table to meet the other two water elves.
While looking for an easy mark, Bobeg notices the VIP room is being emptied out, and important looking people are being shown in. Vivian does her thing and bullshits entry for the lot of us. It's all the captains and crews of the Commadore's fleet. Kruschev is there, nearly chokes on his drink when he sees us. Tells us what's happening, to shut our mouths, and that he's now pretending not to know us. The attache lady comes in and announces that a new ship has come into the fold and that they're taking recommendations for crewmembers and a captain. We hobknob, spread rumors about the ship being cursed and diseased, then depart and get a room for the night.
In the morning, constables take us in on suspicion for an attack on Sir Neeb Anders overnight, clearly orchestrated by Leeward, who left behind a button to implicate Haefelmere.
In our holding cell, some make a daring attempt to escape. Rizzo finds out how many licks it takes to get to her Tootsie Roll center and bleeds out. Bobeg burns our processing papers. We return to our cell to earn our good boy points. 
===Book 9: Haul the Bowline===
11-24-19
Our party's adventures have certainly been sordid. But they never thought they'd have to answer for their own crimes, much less someone else's!
Will they find the courts of the shore are as forgiving as the waves they're acquainted with?
Session notes:
Session notes:No game last week. Today is Friendsgiving!
Kiel is now playing the guy who was already in the cell when we got there. According to Dan, whenever he farts, it smells like Malort.
The next morning, we are awakened and shackled. Led into the courtroom.
A gnome named Codney introduces himself to represent us. Another walks in with mad-ass suspenders. Rochter. He's smug, has golf in an hour. Codney is worried. Vivian gives him bardic inspiration. Chuskrev enters. Rolen sees him as some kind of tentacled horror temporarily...
Casey, Carissa, and Nat all have their turns on the stand. They pass their checks. The judge calls both counsels to talk to him. Codney returns to speak with us. We could plea bargain and confess to the breaking and entering. We say no deal.
Rolen next. Some difficulty, gets the Captain involved who then whispers to the defense. Next is Ten. Invokes request to have writing implements. But, per standards, it must be written in Gnome. Instead, they do Y/N questions. It doesn't go well, with the prosecution claiming he may have been following orders and unable to recall!
Next, they call... Sir Neeb Anders?! Wheeled in by Chuskrev. He testifies that we had no part in it, that it was committed by orcs... Um...
We have our things returned to us, but Rizzo's stuff is now the property of the State. Drat.
Kiel's memoirs: "I Was Gonna, but then I Didn't" and the pages are all blank.
We accompany the Captain in returning "Sir" to his home. The deception is dropped once we arrive there, the actor glamoring into someone else while walking away.
Blag Beldric, the Ripper <- Kiel's new character, has worked with the Captain before.
Captain has work for us. We're gonna see why the isolationist orcs are... in port? We're provided horses and travel two days to go do some information collecting.
The first night, reach Mason Point. There's a bar named the Senambulist. Caliari is the bartender, an orc, whom Haefelmere knows. They chat.
Everyone does their thing. Bobeg works on forging everyone's documents. Rolen practices some orcish. Oondertaeu does last rites for Rizzo. The cat, with a modified 1 CHA roll, tries to score some drugs. Succeeds, swallows something he was supposed to lick. Spends the next several hours tripped out.
Vivian performs, charms the fuck out of a neckbeard goblin. Has him buy her expensive drinks. They're terrible. She spills them "accidentally." Matt's character asks for info about the lost bellows they're tasked with finding. 2sp for the room.
The Goblin Neckbeard is back with lizard on a stick to share with Vivian. She sends him on a fool's errand to find a bight, red shell, and she gives the goblin delicacies to Bobeg. He wants more, but Viv and Haef are now talking about eating a goblin, so he excuses himself...
We set out again. Nothing of interest occurs.
We reach Carp Bay. There appears to be a gathering, and they have torches and pitchforks...
They're lynching three orcs. There aren't any law officials among them. We wreck that, while accidentally endangering half a dozen children. 
===Book 10: Blood Red Roses===
12-1-19
After being acquitted of a crime they didn't commit by allowing a possibly innocent community to take the blame, our party is hot on the trail of a nefarious plot involving the Orcs of Mal'shoka.
But in a weird turn of the rudder, our swashbuckling heroes have strangely found themselves rescuing the enemy...
Session notes:
Session notes:Black Cherry White Claw is a YuGiOh card
As the party loots the dead, Bobeg relieves the unconscous bystanders of 9 gold.
Rolen chats with the rescued orcs. In orcish, so the rest of us aren't sure what's being said. He insists that we escort them. For their safety. Their explanation is that they're investigating orcs who are accused of high treason. Sure they are!
We go into the town, astride our horses, with the orcs. They are the Wargods of the Mal'Shokar, some of several agents sent out.
Bimsgry, a powdered wig guy, is at the gate to the harbor with two guards.
We fight a bunch of guards who were ransacking the ship. Throw some into the water. The cat is paralyzed by a spell, but we break the turtle's concentration. As we finish them off, more come running down the dock, so we skedaddle.
We rest a little, but are mostly asleep through the night. Arrive at Mason Point. Sell some shit and sleep through the day.
The goblin comes back to woo Vivian. He has the red shell she sent him to find. She uses Command to try to be rid of him... but he's... into it. He creates a straw and shit diorama as a dowry that we discover in the evening when we wake. Haefelmere stomps on it and injures himself, triggering some kind of love potion effect. Haefelmere is enraptured by Rolen, who is receptive to this. Yikes.
We find that Caliari, who again was an orc, was taken by the constables of G-rash Bay for "registration." We decide we're going to hasten our return and buy a wagon and two horses, which Haefelmere pays for. While they prep things, Bobeg goes and buys too many crickets (assuming someone else would want some) and day-old dinner rolls because we haven't eaten in too long. Oh, and they gave the horses augmented dust, so when we set off, we have to roll Athletics not to fall off. Zoomies!
As dusk sets in, we catch up to the constabulary. Bobeg attempts to Mage Hand the lock open, but fails. We are waved to pass their cart. So we pull up alongside and unleash holy hell. The two are killed. The horses run off. The two orcs are dying but healed.
"Haefelmere, what have you done?" 
===Book 11: Heave Away ===
12-8-19
In the heat of *almost* killing children and *actually* killing the constable, our party is blazing through the grey areas of sordid tale!
But now that they've successfully released their friend from immigration custody, where will he go?
Session notes:
Session notes:We cruise up to Commadore Porcia's office. There's a line, but Vivian Vivians us to the front.
The Vatistray Harp. We've got to find if if we're to take command of this ship. Vivian nat20's knowledge of it and the ship that last carried it.
Bobeg picks 6sp on their way out.
We learn of the (ship captained by) Hershel, which launched from the city of Delorean headed to G-rash Bay. Most likely place for it to have sunk being the "Haunted" Maryellen Strait.
We chip in to buy a distilling device to help craft some water breathing potions. Also, we get nine of those from Sir Neeb Ander's. Then we set sail with Chuskrev. He lets on a small bit about who he is, who he was, and how long he's been here. The Mal'Shakar chieftain, on the other hand, is an orc, but very long-lived thanks to a likely pact with one older yet than Chuskrev. His rivalry with the chieftain goes back some fifty years.
Andalusian Separatist Conflict. Ship: The Andalusian Rippler.
We fight the Spectral Trollop and defeat her illusion, returning us to the sunken ship as it was. Search for the cargo hold. Find stuff! 9 gems, 100gp apiece (we each get one).
We continue our search in vain.
Port Braden Cave. Crumbsto says Hershel had a secret cache there. That's probably where that harp is. 
===Book 12: Braw Sailin'===
12-15-19
~THE SEASON FINALE OF AN EPIC SEAFARING JOURNEY~
There's a war on the horizon. Commodore Porsia has called to arms all the privateers of the coast to ready their ships to face against the orcish fleet who's come to lay waste to the shores where the refugees are hiding.
The commodore has promised a ship to the adventuring party that can discover an artifact. And our party just might have the best lead to find that artifact...
Session notes:
Session notes:Five of us, Bobeg included, put our 100g gems as a deposit for a rowboat from Chuskrev. He'll take us within view of Port Braden Cove, but no closer. What can we expect there? Extraplanar beings that fight wars by proxy. What fun!
"Serve your master, and dispatch these fools!"
We slay a penisneck aberration and his two orcs. We take their stuff and raise the pair as undead. Another floppy disc! Ten sees another flash of the past, missing limbs, repaired, learned word "family"
Bobeg unlocks the door. Nine Nothic in the next chamber. Bobeg uses his invisible Mage Hand to unlock the next door from a distance. We then envelop the aberrations in magical darkness and pelt them with area spells until Undertoenail senses they have perished.
We hear voices from the next room. Deep Speech. Haefelmere and Bobeg sneak to overhear them. Aboleth and Orc, having completed a business agreement. The latter departs on a supply boat through a sigil portal. Bobeg's arrow misses him. The two report to the group and attempt to rest, but the Aboleth beckons the party to come and talk. It wants the Warforged, but he's not for sale, buddy. Oh well, fight time. A large frogman swallows the cat. It's as unpleasant as it sounds. We all down the adversaries, some contracting the Aboleth's disease.
Then we are beset by a firestorm. The Nicky Wildenschadenjatsencammer Band has taken the harp, attacked us, taunted us, and departed. Asshole shielded Bobeg's cannon blast. The nerve!
Anyway, we're all level 10 now. 
==Season 2: 2020 (Sumna 47 - Autumre 14th 3051 - Autumnre 14th 3101)==
===Book 13: The Worst Old Ship===
01-05-20
||THE SEASON PREMIERE OF A TABLETOP SEAFARING ADVENTURE||
Our party has spent the better part of the season collecting debts in their effort to collect a ship. Thankfully, their labors were not wasted as a freshly claimed and quarantined war galley has been given to the traveling crew of Captain Jatzenkammer and his merry band of misfits.
The party's debts to one Captain Clayton Chuskrev are finally being called into payment though...
Session notes:
Session notes:Still in the aboleth's cavern, another orc ship enters. They mistake us for their guides in recovering a dangerous artifact. We roll with it.
Thrum'Ka Point
Captain Mal'Shaka I'gurg
Shaman Mal'Shaka Ush'na
T'oorg Mai, the mind-hardened adventurer (I am Groot backwards) (played by Miggs)
Quintessence Extractor
There is an elevator that is operated by adding and removing stones
13 stones, room of pots. Nothing of interest.
We add one more stone, totaling 14.
Larger room, cavern, water all over the place. A search reveals nothing.
We make INT rolls to try and figure out this thing.
In base 8, "11" is thirteen. We put 11 stones into the thing and go up three floors.
We encounter Shriekers. We banish them and make a dash for a locked door which Bobeg unlocks in one go. Go, go, GO!
Next room is carpeted in old, humanoid skeletons. Possibly tentacle-faced. Also, metal men.
We accidentally boot up one. They focus on Rolen and go hostile, but we pacify most of them. Install some new wings onto Ten. He sees another memory, gains a new attack, and learns the word ENEMY.
Neothelid drops from the next room's ceiling. It was once... a tadpole.
We fell it, but Ten has succumbed to the wings and now has red eyes. 
===Book 14: The Dreadnought===
1-12-20
With a clever cover up, our party has convinced the Mal'Shoka navy that they are, in fact, the extra-planar aberrations who will assist them in their efforts to obtain the ancient relic from the mind flayer crypt. It seems like they've uncovered more than just mind flayer relics, though.
They may have uncovered a reason for their automaton friend to consider them the *enemy*.
Session notes:
Session notes:Ten pulls the remaining two warforged to his team and starts trying to wreck our shit. Blag grapples him. Casters summon hands to pull out the wings. Haefelmere and Blag finally remove them. Ten is recovered! And also, piledriven! Welcome back to the team!
Also, we decided T'oorg Mai died, so Oonderteau raises a zombie. Viv disguises it as a totally living orc. They don't notice!
We also come up with this great plan to create an illusion on Bobeg's cannon to make it look like the Quintessence Extractor. This was important when the orcs had that hulking behemoth with them when we returned to the ship.
We battled! Things exploded! Kiel was debuffed! Orcs flew overboard! So did Kiel! They climbed back up! We killed them!
We have a boat now. And an extraplanar doomsday device. Sent a message to Captain Chuskrev. Headed home, a several-days journey. 
===Book 15: The Golden Vanity===
1-19-20
After many adventures and misadventures, our party is finally playing crew to their own ship! But they may soon find out that the sea is just as unforgiving as some of its nefarious denizens...
(No session notes available)
===Book 16: Toll For The Brave===
1-26-20
In between the pirates, privateers, and refugees; there's a delicate peace that is held on the shores of Avalon's east coast that's mostly maintained by the rule of one Commodore Porsia. What happens when he is cut down by assassins in his own quarters, though?
Session notes:We dashed back into the Commodore's office once the commotion begins. One of the Dorgens has shot him clean through with a cane gun. The other is strangling the secretary. Bobeg pulls her to safety. Blag grapples and pins one of the dwarves, whom Oonderteu "sees" as an aberration. A few see that the Commodore was a mechanical construct! But we don't ALL know until Bobeg calls out about it. After blows are exchanged, the pinned one tells the other to book it. He doesn't make it, and the pinned one explodes. Fun!
So the secretary was the one calling the shots in this office all along, and we (eventually) accept her offer of mutual silence about it, ship repairs and four cannons included.
To sate Haefelmere, who wants ANSWERS, and because maybe there's some good looting, I mean, INVESTIGATING to be done, we head immediately to the home of the Dorgens. We knock, no answer. Bobeg picks the lock. HOT HAIRY FUCKING!! Slam door. They answer the door after that, we explain the situation and apologize. Be watchful, you guys. And we know they were impersonated, not overtaken, not aberrations all along. Cool info, bad mental image, let's go to the Riptide.
Revis and Rutthead, brothers, Revis the younger is getting married! We join them for drinks. The cat spikes the drinks. Bobeg has a headache.
Viv and Rolen put on an enthralling performance. They lure Revis to a room to kill him. Rolen disguises self to give the appearance that Revis walked out of there, definitely alive. Differently-disguised Rolen returns and seeks Oonderteu's help getting rid of the remains.
There is a lot of discussion how spells do and do not work. Eventually, the would-be-evidence is dimension-doored away by steps and hops into the sea.
We sleep the night at the ship. In the morning, the contractors appear to do repairs. Bobeg tries to bluff that they should be getting SIX cannons, but that's the artillerists' job. Alas.
We go to attend the six-bells address. Chrystalle introduces... the Commodore! Commodore 65.
Porcelyn Erasmus, wealthy wizard family. Chrystalle's real name.
We chat with Captain C, after some delicious corn. The aberrations were probably working under a kraken, freelancing, probably playing both sides of the war. Also, the Dorgens aren't REALLY his kin, of course. Also chatted a bit about the Jatzenscammer Band. Fuck 'em.
Crumbsto wanted a song. Viv delivered. We saw him down to his room. He didn't die.
We retrieved our horses and carriage. No charge, because we're a legitimate part of the fleet! Woo!
We travel a day to a town. Blag sells his encumberence. We look at some expensive Mobility Milch. Learn that there are burrowing entities in the marsh where we're headed that slow your movement once within your flesh.
We stay the night. Bobeg buys a bag of crickets in the morning.
We continue. Eventually, we get to the point where the road ends.
We encounter some chatty trees who demand that we relinquish all metal and see their king for his blessing before taking us to where fleshies are mulched. We consent. But the king is the missing child who orders our termination, because of course he does. 
=== Book 17: Rolling Down ===
2-2-20
In their efforts to find a missing child, they had to seek out the king of the tree-folk marshes. Surprisingly, it looks like the child they were after was the king all along! He's not ready to give up his throne, though. And the kingly kid is ready to mulch his realm with the bodies of our party!
Session notes:Super Bowl Sunday! But yeah, let's play D&D
Treefolk encounter. Rolen charms a couple of them.
Child in the stump encounter. Blag gets hit by a rock.
Moss Mounds encounter. They engulf people. They get rescued.
Child and the Lady encounter. She has a crystal heart. We suffer a few setbacks, but make it through.
Crystal Heart Puzzle encounter. There is choking gas! We have precious little time to solve this puzzle! It takes 38 seconds. We had 20 minutes. It took Dan 12 minutes.
Bluffing the remaining Treefolk encounter. They're pretty easy to bluff.
We're going to take all the remaining metal stuff they had collected!
625g each person. Metal flask Vivian takes. A roll of 77 finds no data discs.
We travel a day back to that town. Ten watches the child while we sleep the night. Viv helps him back to sleep when he wakes and is startled by Ten. He pees. Good times.
We continue our journey. He gets hungry. Blag prestidigitates the food to taste like anise. He hates it. Mission accomplished.
We reach their home. It's a manor with guards. We are let in. Gnome sized place. Bobeg is fine. Older, hunched lady greets us. The child stomps off. We are admitted to the father's office. Jordan Gnomerson. We are granted cigars.
There is a chandelier.
He weighs out 2000 gold for us. He'll look up our ship if he needs anything again. 250 apiece.
The orcish fleet is coming! Anchors aweigh! 
===Book 18: [img not found] ===
2-9-20
[description goes here]
Session notes:It'll be a few more days until we can launch. We go to the job board.
Sbark, Bobeg's criminal background liason. I rolled a nat 20 to look up info on this organization, the Kloid Gang, that has the "time machine." There's a contact for them at Mason Point.
I buy his next drink. It's only half a copper. I buy myself one. I'm told it's delicious.
We go to contact Spinks engineering. It's in the shady part of town, natch.
The guy at the door asks if I'm named Bobeg. !!! I go by lots of names. Deception passed, he drops the issue.
We are let in to see their boss, with three pairs of glasses.
He has a blueprint on his desk, looks like something for a larger race, possibly some kind of large armor machine, or restraining device, hard to tell.
We're told again that the Kloid Gang is likely operating out of Mason Point. Insight says this thing wasn't really the property of Spinks, but what do you do? Bobeg tries asking for what they should be prepared, respecting and irrespective of what the machine does, but learns nothing. Very tight-lipped.
Rolen buys Bobeg some pickled gross food to get on his good side for a future request.
We retrieve our carriage and set off.
Some of us recall that Vivian's goblin neckbeard admirer was named Kloid.
We go to the Senambulist. The gnome is manning things in Caliari's absence. Vivian and Rolen go to perform. Goblin love melody to see if they can lure out the admirer. They make twelve gold in tips, but no goblins in attendance. Wait, no, there's a red shell and a note written in Gobbledegook, which Vivian can read. He'll be waiting on the beach!
They (we) meet. She demands the machine to surrender her heart. He's just an accountant, but he knows where it is.
Brought to a clearing, inspect the trees. One seems... metallic and hollow? The goblin can't lift it, so Blag opens the entrance.
We delve.
We come to a room with a ton of garbage and six ballistae. Blag ventures right into the center of the room, despite being told to stop. The six arm themselves. Roll initiative.
We destroy them, mostly with fire. The gobbo ineffectively tries to protect Vivian.
There's a gem puzzle on the portcullis to continue, but Blag hits it with a battering ram. Puzzle solved!
Bobeg takes one of the three volatile explosives left behind from one of the ballistae. Cod takes the other two.
Also, everyone wants those four gems, so they take electric damage until they're all claimed.
The next room has a pool of water, and something's moving within it. The gobbo says he's heard that they keep wish-granting creatures here.
There are two elementals, made of the water itself. We refuse to make a wish. They refuse to let us pass. A charm spell on one and a banishment on the other gets us and the battering ram to and through the next portcullis.
Three doors. One, what we seek. One, nothing. One, certain death. CHOOSE!
"This is where Coob practiced his magic."
We try dispelling magic. The entire wall, doors and all, disappears. There he is, casting something over two candles and a gemstone. He tells us we're too late, and the gem shatters. Initiative. Two large and one medium demon are summoned.
Vivian uses suggestion on Coob, coercing him into calling off the demons and letting us to the item. It's his turn next, so he tries to do that, and the demon wrecks him to a pulp. Great enemy turn, that.
We fight mightily. One demon is charmed and blinks away. The other two fall to our attacks, followed by the goblin who died of Eldritch Blast wounds. Weird. Bobeg takes his dagger and his nice pants. Not the shirt, as it has three holes burned through it.
100 on treasure roll. 10 gems worth 1000g (1428 a person). 14 on magic item. Magic Sword. Longsword. A topaz on the handle, and the word Rebutter in common script. Oh, and the device we seek. And Blag gives us each 200g from what he'd sold earlier because, yay, new sword! (Sword of Answering?)
There's a spiral staircase upward. Bobeg stealths to see what's there before we decide which route we're taking to escape with the object. Turns out, it's about 30 goblins with weapons drawn, focused on that space. Good thing his stealth roll was sufficient, because Bobeg likes his head not perforated.
 
===Book 19: The Tarpaulin Jacket===
2-16-20
While the crew of the Desire is killing time before they go to war, they might end up getting killed on the way!
Session notes:We combat a room full of goblins! One of them goes invisible, but that's not really noticed...
Near the end of combat, Ten tries to grab the chair. His hands go through it. Ruh-roh.
Bobeg identifies the spell, which has a 60ft range. It pops away. Guy's still close. Haefelmere tracks him back the way we came.
He's with the water witches. We watch him wish for him and the chair to be safe from us. This traps him below the water where he Sonic-drowns.
The witches try to seduce us into wishing. Bobeg reasons that we can satisfy their conditions by returning the chair to(ward) its room and not crossing their barrier. Persuasion success.
Haefelmere dives in to retrieve the chair and fails to save against a charm to stay down there, sitting in the chair. Good thing he can breathe water. Vivian suggests he get his ass up here, and he succeeds the reroll.
We go out the other way with the chair. Travel back to Mason Point.
Blag sells the spoils of our conquest, buys the proper type of armor (oops). Hands it to Bobeg to augment.
Haefelmere is becoming quite attached to this chair. Haefelchair.
After their requisite 4 hours long rest, Haefelmere and Oondertaeu go pearl hunting. They find one worth 30g, not the 100 needed for the Identify spell.
Blag sleeps in the chair in the cart. Has a wiiiiild dream. An aged human in a desolate place. FeGArok, Keeper of the Sword. "You have taken what does not belong to you." The sword returns. It will come back to me if you mistreat it. You will be tested today to see if you are worthy. If you succeed, the sword will stay with you. If you fail, you will die, and the sword will return to me. Or, you can return it yourself to absolve yourself of this.
Blag opts to keep it. Wakes in the chair. Discusses the dream with Rolen and Haefelmere. Bobeg brings Blag his armor, augmented to be psychic resistant, once attuned.
Bobeg nat 20's an inspection of the chair. It appears to be another Quintessence Extractor retrofitted by goblins with the addition of a chair and controls. Rolen sends tell to Chuskrev. We agree we're not delivering this to the goblins, nor do we want to keep it.
So we talk to the Commodore. Learn a bit about Quintessence Extractors. They are extraplanar weapons that extract Time. We end up keeping it. Haefelmere and Bobeg secure it within the captain's quarters of our ship. Blag dresses it up like a quilted chair. Let's hope for the best!
We go to the Riptide. Haefelmere looks for Leeward, finds Loannie instead. We all go up to the upper level bar and she and Haefelmere have a shot contest.
Bobeg picks 3gp.
Loannie falls over, shatters a glass vessel in her pocket. "That's... rrreally bad. I need my medicine. I suffer from co... co..." falls over.
Blag asks the bartender where the doctor is. He won't tell unless we get the drunks out of here. Blag intimidates all but the dwarf and half orc that were with her. THEY want to take her "home." Blag doesn't go for this. There's a tiny barfight that results in Bobeg's cannon granting everyone THP, Blag taking a punch to the face, Blag dragging the half orc out the door, the dwarf finally listening to reason, and Haefelmere dragging the girl.
The surgeon is at 68 Vermont Street, 5 blocks away. Tenser's Floating Disc carries her. Haefelmere notices she stops breathing, does CPR. We get her there.
Bobeg snacks on leeches, misunderstanding the jar's purpose.
The doc doesn't have the proper medicine. Suggests her ship doctor would.
We go to the port. The authority signals their ship to return. The authority offers to row us out there, but Blag rage-rows instead.
We need sahagin blood. There were some at the Burgandy Bay. Leeward should be able to transport us there.
We arrive, underwater. Eep! But we create an air bubble so Rolen can cast water breathing on everyone who needs it.
We come upon a downed ship with two sahagin summoning an Elder Elemental Leviathan. Roll for initiative.
Blag's sword of destiny is dissolved in an acid splash. Eep.
There's a lot of charge attacking splashing us around. We disarm a sahagin, literally, and clump up to blink out. It takes a few tries as we're being scattered repeatedly, but we manage to bring an entire corpse to Nicky's ship. We're promised our extorted money back, the armistice continues, Haefelmere will have his gentleman's duel, we're fucking tired and returning to our ship.
Blag has another dream. He was deemed worthy, champion of returning. He wakes to see the hilt has a new, amazing blade. 
===Book 20: Old Swansea Town===
2-23-20
Our party has been equipped with both a legendary weapon as well as a legendary alliance with their old rivals. Will this be enough to weather the storms of war on the horizon?
Session notes:Today's session: Hangover of Hadar. Kiel's birthday party was last night. And this morning.
I contributed today's Um Actually questions! And I read the recap.
We spend the night on our ship. The early risers (water elves and Ten) are active before the rest, and Vivian too I guess. She answers the lone goblin who approaches and calls out the name of the vessel. He wants to give us partial payment for destroying their enemies during the job, doesn't care about the object so long as their enemies are denied it. Vivian plays dumb, nah, that wasn't us. So he drops the bag of payment and leaves. Haefelmere goes down to investigate. Inside the bag aren't coins, but slugs with goblin words on them. Bobeg is fetched. He goes down and examines a coin. "Race Traitor."
The parcel explodes. Two trash golems (and eventually the goblin as well) appear. We battle them while the cat attempts to launch the ship in a panic. They decay Haefelmere's sword and Vivian's shells. One construct is destroyed on the pier. The other is shoved into the water where it trudges toward the underside of our ship before being dispatched. The goblin, who is not the one who questioned Bobeg at the door, calls out Bobeg by name while attacking. He is also pushed into the water where he goes invisible. We find traces afterward of his wet footprints leading back into town.
Shopping montage. People buy spell components. Bobeg buys golfball-sized ball bearings, 20, for 2gp. Haefelmere has Bobeg begin work on a +1 shortsword. Regularly takes 2 weeks and 200g, but Bobeg's skills mean it should take 3.5 days and 100g.
On the way back, there's a water elf beggar. A few recognize him as... Oonderteau? True vision reveals one of those impersonator creatures.
Oondertaeu pulls a dagger on him. Cod does the same. Blag has them stand down, suggests we go to the ship to receive a message from "the future." Bobeg bluffs some damage control with the onlookers, "Thank all for watching show!" We escort him toward the ship... but he teleports away.
All's good back at the ship. Blag installs the new lock he purchased.
The cat wants to know if Bobeg can craft syringes. No, but he could make them more explosive. We'll talk.
We go to visit Chuskrev. We're going to be dispatched before the fleet arrives, our ship teleported to the orc isle for a special mission. We're too important to be on the front line.
Also, it looks like we'll be headed to the once water elf island of Esenequa.
We see the Commodore 65. The Wizard Thorn. We're to see what his plans are, maybe attempt to recruit?
We go to the Commodore's private bay. We are teleported. Navigate there.
"Welcome to Darkstone Port. What is the purpose of your visit?"
Poetry slam at The Drowned Man. Blag convinces the man at ship registration that he's a poetry fan, gets these details. The password is Hotsy Totsy.
We go. We get Rotgut Coffee. Bobeg keeps finishing everyone else's. He may have a problem.
Rolen does a performance. It's well received. Ten is persuaded to have a go. He slams. A drow woman comes to talk with him. We're invited to a backroom. Highback leather chair. White, four-fingered hand. Greets us. White, porcelain skinned mind flayer. "I didn't think I'd ever see one of those again." 
===Book 21: The Drowned Lover===
3-1-20
Front-line sea combat may not be the best fit for our band of aquatic adventurers. No, they are better suited to more specific threats. Specifically, who is the holdout sell-sword in the floating necropolis of Darkstone? And why is he so interested in their mechanized mate?
Session notes:We're dealing with Thorn. "I could hear you (Ten) with my ears and not with my mind." He's speaking with his mouth for Ten's benefit. Claims to have killed Blag once.
We're given a tune that resonates with the dimension where we are headed, and told that reversing it will return us home.
Kwibejik, "older brother" will-be ruler, "born with more" = Ulitharid = super ilithid
Nalzer's Navigations in the marketplace. Bobeg plays the tune, recorded to his shield. We're warped instantly.
Battle against four Umber Hulks and two mindflayers.
Battle against the next room, where there's a holographic map that actually affects the room, jostling all of us.
We see the full map through it. Manage to warp the room into the final room.
Battle against five ogres, one Ulitharid, and there's also an orc strapped to the wall.
We charm the ogres and stupefy the Ulitharid. Dahl almost gets their brain slurped out. Good times. 
===Book 22: Storm Along===
3-8-20
Piracy at sea is for pedestrians. Our adventurers are buccaneering their way through the planes now! Which means they'll be swashbuckling in the stars!
Session notes:Our enemy is dead, but more are coming. Bobeg bolted the door during the battle, so we have a little time.
The next wave teleports in behind us. Another four ogres and two ilithids. The latter are casting spells. That's weird.
We bust down the door and the orc's thumbs to get him out of the manacles.
Vivian listens to the recorded song and reverses it for the ship. We fly through space.
Rolen consults the ghost of the Ulitharid. We learn... not terribly much. Interrogating the orc yields no surprises either.
There's a blip on the console. Weird. Then Ten has a psychic freakout. Then the flying octopus shows up with a fear aura.
Blag gets dominated and starts wrecking Haefelmere's shit.
We dispatched the giant fear octopus by hitting it with an explosive bolt, sending it "prone" which caused the force of the interdimensional space to tear it apart. 
===Book 23: Bury Me Not===
3-15-20
Our seafaring party has become a space-faring party! But the threats of the stars may be more dangerous than the threats of the sea...
Session notes:WE ARE SELF QUARANTINING together
We try to use the ship's interface to see if we can defend against the octopodes, but we are quickly beset upon and charmed. Vivian, under their control, expertly uses the terminal and sets a course with afterburners blazing. The octopodes detach and fly off. We begin snapping one another out of it, reprogram our course. But Haefelmere is still charmed and reinputs the new coordinates, so we crash into the sudden planetoid all the same.
We make some repairs. We translate some controls. We Send a message to Thorn. We learn that we are out of fuel, quintessence. We find a socket where an extractor would affix, but searching the debris trail, we do not find anything of use (or an extractor). So we camp out (in the magnificent mansion). Long rest.
In the morning, Blag's brother Brahm is there! Witch Sight says this is legit. "You should see the city!" Especially the water elves, apparently.
It seems that the octopodes have been... collecting... people here?
The city... is Darkstone/Esenequa??
Ickthigongu <- the providers
Laefelmere <- wood elf disguised Haefelmere
Kirby <- magic shop water elf. Haef knew him. We get some supplies free, because who needs money?
We encounter, at brunch, a human who self identifies as one of many and many of one who is Ickthigongu. Haef, Rolen, Ten, Blag, Bobeg all have people they know here. Cod, Oonterteu, Vivian do not.
Haefelmere's parents appear.
He has a brother! It's the protagonist of the Pirates of Dark Water.
Cod crits flirting with Haef's mom. Noice.
It's Rolen's turn. Someone he doesn't recognize declares that Rolen is not Rolen. They chat in private. "I was once called Craven, and you knew me." "On this planet, there are others like Mr. Ickthigongu." <- They don't maintain paradises, but what Rolen seeks may possibly be gained from them.
Haefelmere tries to make out with Rolen, but Rolen ports away. BLINK! Right to Blag, outside, smoking. "So, not everyone's having as good a family reunion as I am, huh?"
Research complete! Realm Nökoginkklu is a neighbor to this place. Is run by someone who collects... everything.
Ickthigongu chats us up. We're all in a hot tub now, because of course we are. Ickthigongu and Nökoginkklu are the same being, but different. The first collects experiences, the second, things. Bobeg asks what we can expect, whether we will be seen as "things," but Ickthigongu legit doesn't know.
Everybody rolled perception to notice the extra bubbles in the water near Bobeg. What's wonderful about this is only Chris and Andre were paying attention, so the rest of the players legit didn't know why we were rolling.
Oonterteau requests an Arakoka to peg in the hot tub. Bobeg shuffles away.
We sleep. Blag has another dream encounter with his sword who tells him to FUCKING GET HIS TEAM IN GEAR and GET ON WITH IT.
We are blinked away by Ickthigongu. We should just have to call his name to return.
Big, brutalist architecture style tower. Revolving door. We enter.
There are some goblins. Oonterteau jumps the gun and tidal waves them to death. Blag takes their morning stars. Speak with Dead... fails?
The next room... is the same! Four goblins, reaching for their weapons. "You will die before you get our treasure!"
The fifth time, we all play dead. After a few minutes, the sound of them walking around stops. The wall on the left blinks away, revealing a windowed wall with some 20 tentacled creatures observing. One motions to the door. We continue... to THE SAME FUCKING ROOM. 
=== Book 24: Of A Sailor Bold===
4-05-20
Our intrepid sailors may have found the means to return to the mortal realm, but their ship needs fuel and it looks like the only way to get it is from an immortal zookeeper who wants the party to be his prize exhibit!
Session notes:Facing the room of observers, Viv and Blag cast Tongues so to understand them. They have a chat with Nökoginkklu, who ultimately starts speaking so we can all hear it inside our heads.
He communicates confusingly, since he and Ickthigongu are one and the same and yet individual. But as he put it, Ickthigongu wasn't being truthful with us, and Nökoginkklu will tell us how to get what we need out of Ickthigongu if we provide him our experiences. With no other choice, we agree and continue.
The next revolving doors take us to the marsh where we fought the treefolk commanded by Slayer, but things seem... off. They are not weak to fire, and Slayer stays to fight with new tricks, particularly a fear effect. We collectively deduce that this is about as real as the goblins from before, so we go ahead and tear Slayer apart rather than making an attempt to rescue him as before.
Nökoginkklu questions us about this decision when we finish destroying the treefolk. He explains that he made the encounter from our memories more difficult so it would be an equal challenge for us now as it was then, and he determines that if he makes the experiences "real" with actual stakes, then we will grant him a more authentic experience for his collection. Knowing this, we head through the next revolving door.
We come upon the lynching scene. Immediately, Vivian and others use their charm and persuasive skills to send the crowd packing while the rest set immediately to freeing the three orcs of their predicament. The remaining foe, the armored one, employs a similar fear effect, but we quickly subdue him, fatally. This resulted in fewer deaths than the first time around.
Nökoginkklu appears again, replacing the orcs within the scene, and noting the rather diplomatic approach we took this time. We have one event remaining, and so we step through the revolving door...
...and are immediately HOSED WITH LAVA. We are in the goblin stronghold, facing the final encounter with the thermal generator. Mihu is here, and individuals immediately try to keep him from coming to harm. But the goblin has some new tricks, including that same fear effect, making escape difficult. Also, the goblin willfully damages the generator himself, increasing the flow. We try some clever tricks, including caging him within the stone table, but he uses legendary actions to thwart each of these attempts, and most of us opt to scramble up and out. We end up relying on Mihu as before, but this time Oondertau polymorphs the ogre into a bird to take him with us as we flee.
Does this mean that Mihu now survived the encounter in our spacetime? 
===Book 25: Loose Every Sail===
4-12-20
With a great explosion of magma, our party has finally rectified a loss from their first adventure. Now they are on to the next adventure where they must perform the dodge of a lifetime and swindle a god out of his essence!
Session notes:Happy Easter!
Nökoginkklu and his staff are on the other side of the field of force. He is pleased! But there is one experience he has never had, and that is to fall prey to subterfuge.
He's sure we can grant him this experience by way of Ickthigongu, dropping hints that we should try and get the first collector we met absofucking WASTED. Then, we can trick him into conjuring for us the quintessence we require to escape this place.
We call out to Ickthigongu and find ourselves outside Esenequa. There is a forested area we didn't see before, between us and the city. Ickthigongu tells us to go into it, that there's an experience there that we should have. With little other choice, we go forward.
The trees... are metallic? And have warforged faces? One speaks to Ten with Ten's limited vernacular, offers to help Ten grow. Gives him a data disk, which he inserts. We prepare for him to turn on us again, but instead... he speaks with a robust lexicon! And he doesn't shut up now!
Ickthigongu speaks again, explaining that he gave these warforged a place to be and grow, for they had none following their missions. And Ten answers some of our questions for him, too.
Bobeg declares that this is time for celebration! Bachanalia!
We are teleported to the Poached Perch. Ickthigongu begins conjuring elements on request. We begin drinking and celebrating, convincing Ickthigongu to make himself susceptible to the effect as well to properly experience it for himself. He even grants Ten the sensation.
Bobeg orders a potion of giant strength, demolishes a table with his bare hands, crosses it off his bucket list.
"Let me roll a strength check to see if the moose antlers can hold that tiny, gay frame" (Haefelmere is passed out and Blag sets him on the wall.)
Cod, who was told by Ten that he is not attractive, is sulking. Ickthigongu goes to him to see what he's experiencing, fails to properly become sullen himself. Conjures Cod's father, who takes interest in passed-out Haefelmere to Cod's distress.
Kiel invokes Mayor Power to make a 20 a 1. Vivian convinces Ickthigongu to give us the needed fuel. He embraces the experience of loss. We are given the extractor.
As we leave, the entire world is melting apart. Everyone we've seen so far is outside, their features going... wrong. We hurry.
A few familiar faces try to talk us into returning, with the exception of Rolen's acquaintance who wants to escape with us. We press on and are ultimately blocked by the Codfather, Haefelmere's little bro, and bionic treeface. We battle to board the ship, which Rolen's "buddy" is starting for us. We attach the extractor and are told we have to offer some of ourselves to get it going.
Some amount of stolen time later, we awaken to the scene of the chief of the Mal'Shoka and his forces taking a defeated Thorn, gloating. What did we miss?? 
===Book 26: One More Day ===
4-19-20
Our buccaneers finally found their way out of the astral plane, but to fuel their ship, they had to spend time. The problem with losing time is that they don't know what happened in it and now they need to recover that time and what's transpired in it!
Session notes:The barista is dead! Noooo! Rolen casts speak with dead and gets 5 questions.
Did the Mal'Shaka give a message? "Not to me."
"Tell your commodore that you need to evacuate your defenses."
"We were discussing your adventure, were beset upon by the orcs, and they bested you using their strange arcane abilities."
It's the same day.
He's not sure what happened to the ship. "Where did YOU put it?"
Oonderteu cast Wish to restore VG-Ten's full vocabulary. He passes out from the effort of casting the spell.
Bobeg finds another coffee and palms it. He and Rolen make a quick trip to the magic shop, where they get a wand and a tuning fork respectively.
On their way to the dock, some pallid, cloaked figures accost us. Blag turns one of their cloaks pink. They accuse us of bringing this violent element to their peaceful shores. They argue a few seconds, Blag intimidates, and they start casting. Roll for initiative.
Bobeg catapults the coffee during the skirmish, easy come easy go.
They do some necromancy, raising skeletons and one another, and one creates a zone of silence, forcing us to pay attention to which spells have verbal components. Ten gets struck down temporarily, but we come out on top rather quickly.
We send a message to the Commodore 65 about the result of the mission and our intention to give chase, but we are ordered to return at once. We seek audience with Chrystalle and discuss what transpired and what's about to occur.
Soon, our ship is on the front lines awaiting the Mal'Shoka attack force, but we instead are approached by a ship of refugees, captained by one "Narji." They are sick and plead with us to be let through to G-rash Bay. A few of our band go to their ship and encounter... an anti-magic effect that prevents Cod from removing their disease.
This sets off a lot of theorizing about what's at play here. An anti-magic field centered around something hidden on their ship? Anti-magic as part of their disease, sent as a biological weapon? The decision is made to sink their vessel, and Haefelmere is NOT HAVING IT.
He ports over to Yatsenscammer's ship alone to attempt to disable their cannons, which does little when the entire front line minus our ship follows the order to obliterate the vessel. He is restrained by Leeward who talks him down from the conflict, but Haefelmere is not done with this.
Despite all plans to continue that conflict back on shore, our ship is put under quarantine for three days to ensure we haven't carried the disease. The disease seems to be a typical one of sea travel, given the symptoms, minus the anti-magic. So... was that really part of the disease?
The downed ship was covered over by protective measures/magicks, so whatever else was onboard is effectively sealed away.
And we are preparing for another advance by the Mal'Shoka. 
===Book 27: Strike Home===
4-26-20
Our sailors are struggling with some of the decisions they've been a part of, but this is now a time of war! And our party may be the one to end the opposing fleet. All it will take is one mission to dispatch the forces of the Mal'Shoka. Is our party up to the challenge?
Session notes:Chuskrev calls us over to discuss the coming invasion. Seems we may have to contend with some nasty distance weapons, referenced as Aboleth railguns. With these in play, there would be no battle.
So we're going to go to their secret facility and sabotage that shit with scrolls that explode when teleported! Yay!
He takes us to shore and we sneak in, avoiding a path where we hear orc voices.
First, we encounter some dead orcs. They appeared to starve to death. Consultation with the dead revealed that they were convinced they were failures...
Bobeg shrugged off a math puzzle like it was nothing, and we explored the place. Found a room with experimented-upon animals. Recalling the possible germ warfare, Ten set to putting them out of their misery.
We found a very stubborn magical door. After enough bullshit, we retreated.
We overheard orcs in another room discussing the noises we've been making. The captain keeps the key inside the belly of the Bastamouth, we learned, because nothing can get to it there. Well, ok then...
In another cavern were some animated statues that instilled Blag and Bobeg with a feeling of failure, likely what killed those orcs from before. We avoided casting Shatter so not to alert everyone, everywhere.
In the room beyond that was a large creature, assumed to be the Bastamouth. It was very aggressive, and it seemed that fighting was the only option.
That is, until Cod prayed to his god Yeezy to turn it inside out in His vast benevolence. The prayer is answered in a visceral display of absolute carnage.
With the key extracted, we returned to the door and found the readied ships. It takes a while to arm the scrolls, but we completed the task before we were discovered. We feigned ignorance about the nature of the ships or that we'd managed to board every one of them already. 
===Book 28: Jackaroe ===
5-03-20
Our adventurers are trying to subvert the enemy fleet, which involves some heavy sabotage. But they've been made, can they make good their escape and not have their plot foiled?
Session notes:Battle in the room
Disintegrate the barrier to get out of the complex rather than repeating the math puzzle
Call Chuskrev for pickup
Battle on the sea
Large energy blast, most likely the aforementioned railgun
Chuskrev sends us (and one of his voidsmiths) along as he turns the ship back to engage 
===Book 29: Whitewings===
5-10-20
In the coming battle, our party has sabotaged the enemy fleet which might yet give them the advantage they need to defend the bay from an Aboleth Rail gun volley. That success cost them dearly, though.
What's the next step to winning the war for the ocean?
Session notes:We return, we rest. No response Sending to Chuskrev
See the Commodore 65. Make our report.
Funeral event set for 8pm
Haefelmere and Leeward make up. Drinks are had.
Blag fails to see he is being flirted with. Viv tries to give the girl a push to no avail.
We dress ourselves. Add meaningful items to C's funerary cache. Bobeg offers his last coffee potion.
Later, we find the voidsmith below the docks hauling a sack. He is doing the same rites for Crumbsto. We make offerings here, too. Bobeg donates a bell.
( At this point, the notes conclude. Apologies. I will return to this later to chronicle things as I recall them - C. ) 
===Book 30: Get Back===
Little victories have given our buccaneers from the bay an edge in the long game, so their enemy has resorted to desperate measures: germ warfare!
(No session notes available)
===Book 31: Beat of the Weary Waves===
Our crew has defended some refugees from the continued attack on their survival, but the chieftain of the Mal'Shoka had a bigger ace up his sleeve: ransom. Little did he know that our party's Commodore is craftier than he may have anticipated. Commodore Porsia may have secreted her incarceration location in the ransom note! Are the sailors bold enough to brave the Grave Reef to get her back?
(No session notes available)
===Book 32: Fire Down Below===
The penultimate adventure! Our party is ready to put an end to the war between the vicious chieftain of the orcish fleet, but they may have uncovered a threat to all life in the process! Will the party be able to undo the machinations of aberrant genocide in time?
(No session notes available)
===Book 33: On the Ocean Waves - 50 Years Later - ===
The glorious conclusion of a sordid tale of the high seas!
(No session notes available)