All's Fair in Oven War/Quotes

:Moe: Looks like me and Marge are both going to Hell. That's when I'll make my move.
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:Marge: (reading a note from Lisa) I look up to you... because you let me down. That's clever. And devastating.
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:Homer: A contractor? Those guys are the biggest crooks around. They charge for materials AND labor. Pick one, jerks!
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:Chief Wiggum: Listen here, Simpson. Your son has been exposing our kids to adult themes, unabashed dictionaries, and the lesser short fiction of John Cheever.
:Homer: Adult themes? What are you talking about?
:Ned Flanders: My Roddy told a joke about an octopus and a set of bagpipes, and the punch line implied that they fornicated!
:Wiggum: Ralphie wants to go on the pill.
:Homer: Stupid Bart, (laughs) bagpipes getting down with an octopus. That's classic.
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:Homer: Would you excuse us Milton?
:Milhouse: It's Milhouse.
:Homer: Yeah, and your father's no house. Now scram!
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:Bart: I could make the treehouse look like this. Then we can have orgies, whatever they are.
:Milhouse: We'll be Playdude Playmates!
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:(Ralph Wiggum cries)
:Wiggum: Sorry, Ralphie. The Bakeoff rejected your recipe.
:Ralph Wiggum: I want to be in the Bakeoff!
:Wiggum: There, there. I think your Grilled Crayon Sandwich was delicious.
:Ralph: You only had a pretend bite!
:Wiggum: No, I'm eating it, look. (swallows with difficulty)
:Ralph: Can you taste the thumbtacks?
:Wiggum: Aw, crap...
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:Lisa: (after discovering Marge was cheating on the competition) I can't believe my mom would cheat.
:Homer: Hey sweetie, is mom winning?
:Lisa: Oh, she'll win the contest! but she'll loose her soul.
:Homer: But she'll still win the contest?
:Lisa: And loose her soul.
:Homer: But win the contest?
:Lisa: (annoyed) Yes.
:Homer: Woo Hoo!
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:Apu: (puts on disguise) Apu? Never heard of him. My name is Steve Barnes.
:Bart Simpson: Then the Woman....