Chesed

Chesed is a character and entity from Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina. Most notable for having hands and fingers that have mouths on their underside, Chesed is a transgender menace who enters people's houses, and depending on how he feels about you, Chesed will do things to you and your house. 
His positive impacts are that he either gifts you by cleaning your house, sets up magical barriers around your house so you are free from bad luck for a bit, and taping everything to the ceiling, including yourself. His neutral impacts are that he grinds up all of the house meat and grills it for you, sets things up for a birthday party despite the fact it's not your fucking birthday, puts shitty hats on all of the objects in your house, or leaves a bottle of hot-dog flavoured Gatorade in your room. His sole negative impact that we're allowed to mention so our dear readers may remain sane is that he consumes every single grain of rice AND/OR every single noodle of pasta he can get his massive/little hands on in your disgusting dwelling, no matter how old they are. And all of the containers will remain half chewed, on the floor. BEWARE: if you don't have rice or pasta, let's just say you should get some. Even if you're some sick fuck who wants to see what happens, you really don't want to know. It made me a monster. 
After sacrificing himself to save Phineas from the Twister, Chesed became a Primordial Being. However, he retains his hobby of entering your house without permission. So watch out, or don't. The emotions are high right now. 
== Days before the Ascension ==
It is believed that Chesed manifested as a rich and talented man, but you really can't be sure with this fucker. Maybe he manifested as a yellow blood cell. Either way, it's generally agreed that he wasn't born, nor was he grown in a tube or some shit. He just came into existence one day because he wanted to, but Chesed would come to regret that choice. He was distracted by the pains of existing by trying to find a job, eventually residing in the Lobotomy Corporation. 
However, thanks to Angela, Chesed had a miserable time there too. She primarily pushed him to the brink by selling all of his Silly Putty. Thus, Lobotomy made him a bitter, bitter man. But he still succeeded over Angela, after Netzach finally filed OSHA complaints with Hod. This resulted in the shutting down of Lobotomy Corporation. Success! He became inactive during this period of life, and no one knows if he began trying to hunt down and kill Jared Leto for being a traitor to the American people, or anything. However, it is generally assumed that he had something to do with Bobby Flay's eyes being removed, and replaced with fleshlights after he Understood that Bobby Flay couldn't be killed, but wanted him to suffer all the same. 
Eventually, he ended up going into wherever the Phineas and Ferb documentary takes place. He ended up picking up a lot of hobbies during this period of time, but he still insisted upon being a menace towards the neighborhood. However, he also did fun things, such as, consuming grass shavings people left out, replacing the roofing, streaming Pumping Iron. Tough he was Strange, he was Accepted by everyone as someone they could trust. 
== The Twister ==
One evening, a twister was loitering on the Fletcher property while Chesed was over to help out with some yard work while the Parents were Away. But Phineas was outside. "Phineas, there is a twister Brewing," Chesed called out to him, "You need to get inside." But Phineas wouldn't listen. Chesed began shaking, why wouldn't Phineas listen. He was good boy. ☀ Then he realized that he could not hear the art. They were a new couple, they were a monster who had escaped from hell and maybe the police did nothing. Ha ha, the real devil on earth. Unfortunately, Chesed previously had a homosexual relationship with Dame Dame Guy and could kill the devil as a champion. After grabbing the rifle, he realized it was not a storm. It was an apocalypse called Sigma.
Sigma looked at Chesed. "Did you know that your past scares you? If you had to hide somewhere, give it to pinus. The key to aggression locks the body. But pull it out and put the bin in the bunker. It's here. It's a fairy tale." Everything is in the bunker. The hopper keeps everything safe. Cold and strong. You need to warm up instead of worrying too much. But he loved the earth's roots, sand, and sand. Marry again. When he is torn, "he will be beaten for life to save the happiness of others around him." "For me," Sigma said. "Never," Chesed replied, and at that moment Sigma and Chesed fought. Death. And they run out of the bunker. Understanding is beyond them.
And then, Jesus arrives. He sees the fortune of Chesed. He sees the body of Sigma. He sees all, because he loves. And he Made Chesed a Powerful Being, one fit to be a God. After this, he Left the Phineas and Ferb Realm, and has access to all of the realms. However, he typically likes to stay within more relaxing realms, and he uses his powers of god to do the same shit he did before as a menace.
However, Chesed now faces the wrath of the Pillsbury Doughboy, who is determined to cannibalize him after murdering his beloved Sigma. How long can Chesed run for?
== Trivia ==
# Chesed owns the Bass Pro Pyramid. He has fucked millions in there. Chesed will likely continue to fuck exclusively everyone in there for the foreseeable future.
# lol cheese head