Charlie Chaplin vs. Buster Keaton: Epic Rap Battles That Will Never Happen

ERBTWNH #2: 
CHARLIE CHAPLIN VS. BUSTER KEATON 
(Nice Peter as Buster Keaton and Epic Lloyd as Charlie Chaplin) 
Charlie Chaplin: 
You're Living a Dog’s life! I am better than you in every way 
I’m the Great Dictator, Charlie Chaplin, and I’m here to stay 
I’m busting your balls, Buster, and this is more painful than lung cancer 
You’re a trance-stance prancing alcoholic dancer, by chance? 
My middle name is Spencer, cause I’m dispensing these sick rhymes 
I have fans of all kinds, all you have are mimes 
You're The Kid! I’m a New York King! I’m killin’ your crap! 
Your meant to be a silent comedian, you can’t rap! 
I’ll knock you through the walls of your Parlor, Bedroom and Bath 
I’m everywhere, its called fame, bitch, prepare for my wrath 
Buster Keaton: 
More famous than me? No one even knows where you were born 
And four wives? Your like dispensable porn 
I’ll painfully chain up your brain veins with your own cane 
Your efforts for fame are in vain, Houdini gave me my name 
Your not funny. At eighteen months, I fell down stairs 
I’m Buster now, and you better say your prayers 
That I won’t harm your precious moustache hair 
It’s not you that’s famous, it’s your appearance that’s known 
You were exiled from the U.S., and then you died alone 
Charlie Chaplin: 
Nobody cared? Someone stole my body, fans love me so much 
Your career is moving fast, you better hold tight and clutch 
I’m the first one on the cover of Time magazine, 
All you have been on is too much caffeine, 
And you shouldn’t be talking about wives, you’ve had only one! 
And your face always looks like you’ve been stunned, even while you run, 
You're the great stone faced disgrace 
I lived passed 70, and that’s not your case, 
I have more talent than Fatty Arbuckle has fat, 
And sure as hell I’m proud of that! 
Sure, Lock Jr. you Behind the Screen at One A.M. 
When it comes to rappig in silent movies, I’m fucking Eminem! 
Buster Keaton: 
You weren’t trusted for the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and why was that? 
You looked too much like a communist rat! 
My designing and staging makes you look flakey and fakey 
I worked on my projects daily, Let’s get crazy, 
Run you over with a Steamboat, I am a God 
You’ll be sitting back, awed, go back home to your broads, 
Your childhood is anything but comedic 
And your rapping, ugh god, it makes me sick! 
I’ll use your bowler hat as a toilet bowl to excrete my turds 
Your innocence died as your mother was still uncured 
Your so bad and you’re such a fucking nerd 
That you entered a charlie chaplin look alike contest... AND CAME IN THIRD! 
You can’t even rhyme, you're not sublime, 
You won an Oscar for Limelight, after your prime? 
“The General” was labeled the 15th best movie of all time! 
I broke my neck, didn’t notice at first 
So this is my last verbal curse before I disperse 
Your daughter is so ugly, I discover 
In your movie “Chaplin”, she played your mother. 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH