Broomed

This is the 3rd episode of season 1 of SBFW's Got Talent.
==Transcript==
Nicholas: Welcome back yet again to another episode of SBFW’s Got Talent! Will the auditions suck harder than yesterday’s? It’s almost a given! But how hard will they suck? You’re about to find out.
NC: That just sounds plain wrong.
Nicholas: Don’t take it the wrong way, buddy boy. Or we’re gonna have a bad time. (snanz default dances in the background)
NC: I thought that guy already auditioned.
Nicholas: Who? (he looks behind his back, and snanz disappears) Huh. Let’s pretend that never happened and get on with the new auditions. First up, it’s Patrick Star!
Patrick: I’m a star!
Nicholas: Not just yet, Patrick. You’ve gotta PROVE you’re a star.
Patrick: Oh. Oh yeah. I got just the thing. (he pulls a swab out of his belly button and starts cleaning his belly button)
Gene: That’s disgusting. (buzz)
NC: DISGUSTANG! (buzz)
AVGN: Who let this fool in? (buzz)
Nicholas: The audience voted for him to audition.
Gordon Ramsey: I must say, this has got to be the worst performance yet. (buzz)
Patrick: (hesitating) Well… you… D’OH! (he runs out of the stage in anger)
Nicholas: Looks like Patrick didn’t make it. Oh well. Up next is Fred.
Fred: (trips on a cable) MY LEG!
Nicholas: Oops. Sorry about that. (he moves the cables connected to the lights, and one of the lights falls on Fred)
Fred: MY LEG… again!
Nicholas: I can tell you really like your leg.
Fred: It’s what defines me.
Nicholas: Well, what’s your performance for today?
Fred: Well… (he gets up and starts horribly singing My Leg is In Love)
Gordon Ramsey: It’s awful… but tragic. I like it.
Gene: I’m not falling for it, heheh. (buzz)
NC: My leg is in love with this song.
AVGN: Such tragedy!
Nicholas: Only one buzz… which means Fred is in!
Fred: Hooray! (he bumps into a box) My face!
Nicholas: Third audition of the day, it’s Amaya… aka… Owlette! (the audience cheers)
NC: Hey, I’ve watched the show she’s on before.
AVGN: PJ Masks?
NC: No, the other one.
AVGN: Ah.
Owlette: Thanks for having me here, y’all. I heard my boyfriend impressed the judges, so I hope I impress you too.
Gordon Ramsey: We’ll see about that.
Owlette: Okay… here we go… (Owlette starts making non-family friendly noises, and eventually reveals she had a baby) Ta-da!
AVGN: (surprised face) How?
NC: (also making a surprised face)
Gene: Impressive, but also disgusting.
Gordon Ramsey: I have no words.
Nicholas: And it looks like Owlette’s… questionable act… has got her in!
Owlette: (panting) Hooray… (passes out)
Nicholas: We’ll take care of her soon. Up next is… am I reading this right? (he passes the paper with Donald Trump’s name onto Ramsey)
Ramsey: Yep, you are reading it right.
Nicholas: Oh. Up next is Donald Trump!
(Trump walks smugly onto the stage)
Trump: One of the things that I love besides China are talent shows. And I’m finally on one. Hopefully this act will get me in-
(Everyone but Ramsey buzzes simultaneously)
Ramsey: Does everyone hate this guy or something?
The other three: Yeah.
Trump: Before I leave, I’ll perform anyway. (clears throat) China China China China Chi- (Gene sweeps him away with a broom)
Ramsey: Uhh… okay then.
Nicholas: That was another weird one. Anyway, onto the last audition of the day. Give it up for Hank Hill! (cheers come from the crowd)
Hank Hill: Howdy everyone. I’m here to tell you that propane and propane accessories are the best. And I’m about to tell you why. Ahem.
I was always told propane was pain
Until I actually used it… in vain
Consuming propane has got me saying
Man, propane isn’t the bane of our existence after all
Gene: Impressive poem.
Gordon Ramsey: I expected him to sing. This is better.
AVGN: Do I have to say something every time?
NC: Yes we do.
Nicholas: Hank Hill, you’re officially in!
Hank Hill: Hallelujah. I’m gonna get a drink to celebrate!
Nicholas: Be sure to be back for the next episode.
Hank Hill: I sure will. (leaves the stage)
Nicholas: And there you have it, folks. Three more people have gotten in. Less than five, but more than two. We’ll see you next time.
(Backstage…)
???: Those suckers have no clue what I have cooking up my sleeve.
??? 2: Like, I know I shouldn’t judge, but like, this thingy you’re working on sounds crazy.
???: Relax, it will be a-okay. My high-IQ patent pending invention will make everyone’s minds explode… metaphorically, of course.
??? 3: Sounds like a real toot! (farts)
???: Ugh. Get your corny jokes out of my backstage!
??? 4: This isn’t even your backstage.
???: Oh yeah. Everyone, just leave, please.
(End)
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