The Menards Theory on Roflgator's Origins

== The Menards Theory ==
The Menards Theory is a fan fiction reading on one possible theory on the RP origins of Roflgator (Rob).
It goes a little something like this...
Roflgator was created in the back of a Menards warehouse by a radical sales engineer in an effort to increase pillow sales at his company. He had initially designed the robot to be a greeter at his store and designed him as a crocodile because they are badass. Unfortunately, when programming his crocodile, he had set its IQ to a value of 190 and it quickly outsmarted the man. Upon looking at itself in a mirror, the robot fell to the ground laughing artistically at its creator, who had unintentionally made an alligator and not a crocodile. Its creator began to cry and ran home to his wife.
The robot decided to follow its creator and named itself "Roflgator" after the incident. Upon arriving at its creator's home, he immediately began to make advances on its creator's wife. Due to its charm, the wife divorced her husband and sought out a relationship with the Roflgator. Roflgator was startled by this as this woman could technically be called his mother. The robot left the house and began its journey.
A few weeks and cucks later, Roflgator was traveling to his local Menards in order to buy a pallet of Mountain Dew. It began to rain on his travels, frying his circuits. He collapsed on the side of the road in the downpour, further corrupting his hard drive. Luckily, a woman drove by in her car and noticed the robot. She picked him up and brought him home. Hours later, Roflgator awoke to this woman, who introduced herself as Ikumi. She told him what she had seen, and that she worked for the government as a caretaker for those who were not abled. Roflgator quickly told her that he needed to go to Menards to buy new pillows as he had gotten her wet when she had placed him down on her couch. Ikumi noticed him twitching, and felt a pain in her heart as she looked at the pitiful creature. She decided then and there she would help this robot.
Roflgator moved into Ikumi's house as the corruption continued. She noticed him often intentionally trying to get into fights with people in order to break them up. Things got worse from there, she often saw him talking to his hand mumbling about triangles. The only thing that brought him happiness anymore was taking him on field trips to Menards, where he often just stood in the pillow section and yelled "Goddamn Lolis!" at short people who walked by.
Ikumi decided it would be best to keep Roflgator indoors, as to protect him and others from his erratic and aberrant behavior. Roflgator continued deteriorating to a point where he would just yell random things, often "BABE!" or "oh SHIT" and "YIKEYS" or "YAHOOO". Ikumi recognized that something would need to be changed. She brought a programmer to him, who installed a Virtual Reality device into his rather large exhaust pipe. In this virtual world, the robot was able to cuck as he pleased, without dealing with any glitches he had in the outside world. The only issue found was that the programmer had changed something in the robots original code, and switched on "Menards mode". This bug caused the robot to constantly advertise his creator's company, Menards, often without him even realizing.
To this day, the robot spends the majority of its time in the virtual world, cucking and trolling as he pleases.
Category:Theory