Nematode Lives Matter

"Nematode Lives Matter" is a Season 1 episode of Squiddie's School, and the 12th overall.
==Characters==
*Squidward Tentacles
*Patrick Star
*Eugene H. Krabs
*SpongeBob SquarePants
*Sheldon J. Plankton
*Pearl Krabs
*Bubble Bass
*CrazySponge
*Matchy
*Gary the Snail
*Larry the Lobster
*Sandy Cheeks
==Synopsis==
The classroom gets infested with nematodes, which start disrupting Squidward's instruction. Can they find a way to solve the problem once and for all?
==Transcript==
[episode begins with everyone in the class sitting in their seats, doing nothing, as Squidward does the same at his desk. He checks his watch and lets out a sigh.]
Squidward: Well, class, this is what happens when you book a 10 minute test for a 3 hour class. 
SpongeBob: So…
Squidward: [sips on his tea before looking up] I’ve simply decided to curve everyone’s test, and now since I have nothing else in the tank after getting raped by my students, you people can just leave.
Class: YAY! [about to burst out the door before they get stopped by the manager]
Manager: Now where do you think you’re all going?
Larry: Home?
Bubble Bass: To my Mermalair replica?
Patrick: To a gang bang! [everyone looks at him weirdly] What?
Manager: Oh no you don’t. School policy is VERY clear on these grounds. [puts on reading glasses and flips through a manual] No teacher can dismiss their students before the bell, no matter how early or late in the class they are. Pretty fascist rule, I know, but it’s what we’re working with.
Eugene: Well Article 19 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights ensures the right to freedom of opinion and expression, but war criminals like you and I still violate it. [closes eyes with a grin but then opens them back up upon realization] Wait, hold up.
Manager: War criminal. [turns back] Anyway, the point is, go find something to do until the bell rings. That’s all. [walks away as the rest of the class share a deadpan expression]
Bubble Bass: Welp, I know what I’m doing. Gonna take the fattest shit in the bathroom. Up, up, and away! [takes off to the bathroom]
Squidward: ...right. So, yeah, knock yourselves out. [sits down and continues to sip on his tea, it cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick at their table]
SpongeBob: Aw man, I guess I’ll just have to do what I already do every class and stare at Sandy’s mahoosive knockers. 
Sandy: SPONGEBOB!
Patrick: Neat. I’m gonna look at Squidward! [stares at him as the top of his head starts to grow] Oh boy! [his stomach rumbles] Hm… my hunger strikes again! Perhaps I should ask Squidward for his ink. [starts to get up before SpongeBob holds him back]
SpongeBob: Patrick, no! He’s not gonna let you do it! [reaches into his pocket to grab a cookie] Here, eat this instead!
Patrick: Are you crazy? If I want some grade A squid ink, then you know damn well I’m gonna get it. [gets on the ground, crawling over to Squidward as SpongeBob stares in fear] Hehe…
Squidward: [reading a magazine] Hm, the fashion game has really gone downhill. [Patrick jumps up behind him]
Patrick: HI SQUIDWARD!
Squidward: AHHH!! [jumps up and squirts ink all over the floor, some of it landing in Patrick’s mouth] Patrick, why did you do that?
Patrick: To get the nutrition! [swallows] Ahh… I’m full. I’ll finish up the excess ink later. [walks away] Thanks again, Squidward! [Squidward starts fuming]
SpongeBob: I dunno, Patrick… leaving that ink there might not be the best idea.
Patrick: Pffft, it’s Squidward’s glistening octopus juices. What’s the worst that could happen?
[cuts to the outside of the school where a crowd of nematodes start jumping right outside the building. They can sense the ink from outside]
Nematodes: Ink ink ink! Ink ink, ink ink! [more of them gather as they start chewing through the walls. We see them appear inside the classroom] Thirsty! Thirsty! Thirsty! [rush over to the ink slick as they start slurping on the remains]
Patrick: Hm… I sure am working up a thirst. Time to finish off that ink!
SpongeBob: Patrick, it’s only been 5 minutes. Haven’t you had enough of Squidward’s fluids?
Patrick: You can NEVER have enough of his fluids. Welp, time to satisfy my taste buds and my erection at the same time. [gets up as it cuts to the nematodes finishing off the ink]
Nematode: Tasty, tasty, tasty!
Patrick: [looks down to see them] WHAT THE?! What did you tiny bastards do to Squidw- I mean my ink?
Nematode: Pink fatass! Pink fatass! Pink fatass! [start hopping away to the middle of the classroom]
Patrick: Oh no you don’t! [tries to jump on them but he misses and crashes into Squidward’s desk] Oops.
Squidward: [gets up] Patrick, this blasted buffoonery is uncalled for! I can’t believe I have to punish someone other than Matchy during class, but you’ve given me no choice! Go sit in the corner! [points to a stranded desk in the corner]
Patrick: Aww, not the corner! [pours as he sulks over, the nematodes start laughing at him as it cuts to a new scene. We see the whole class starting to read an art textbook to themselves as the nematodes start dispersing throughout the class] 
Nematodes: Terrorize, terrorize! [chant gets louder] Terrorize! Terrorize! Terrorize! [cuts to Larry]
Larry: Yo, Bubble Bass? [silence] Bubble Bass? [peeks over] Jeez, how much time does it take to leak the nuclear codes? [goes back to reading as the nematodes start to climb the table, gathering on top]
Nematode: Meep meep meep! [attach themselves to Larry as they start sucking the muscle out of him]
Larry: Huh? I worked hard for these things, you know. [starts to flex but his arms are visibly smaller as a result] Goddamnit…
[the nematodes start to go over to Eugene, Sheldon, and Pearl]
Sheldon: Krabs, this textbook is, uh, asking about the formula!
Eugene: Nice try. [shows him his textbook]
Sheldon: You’ve discovered my dirty little secret. [cuts to show the nematodes chewing on his antenna] Damn fools! Only Karen can chew on those!
Eugene: She’s a computer, how is that even possible? [starts laughing]
Sheldon: I wouldn’t be so pompous if I were you, Krabs. Check out your pockets.
Eugene: Hah, you think I’m falling for that communist propaganda? [looks down to see that the nematodes are eating through his wallet] YOU! That was the money I exploited from SpongeBob and CrazySponge!
Pearl: That sucks. At least I still have my juul. [tries to take a puff before the nematodes jump up and start eating it]
Nematodes: Vapor, vapor, vapor!
Pearl: Hey, I can’t live without that! [swats the nematodes away] Wow, I really am addicted.
SpongeBob: [looking over] Mr. Tentacles, you have to do something about this!
Squidward: About what?
SpongeBob: The nematodes. They’re terrorizing everyone!
Squidward: Pffft, get over it. They’re not THAT bad.
SpongeBob: What do you mean? They’re literally in Matchy’s pants right now! [cuts over to see the nematodes moving around in her pants]
Matchy: AUGHHHAHAHAGAUGAGAHAHAGAG!!!
Squidward: MATCHY! CEASE! 
Patrick: Does that mean she’s taking my spot in the corner?
Squidward: No. [Patrick sulks in disappointment] That was just her.
SpongeBob: They’re eating your nose right now. [cuts to show them on his nose, chewing through while ink spurts out]
Nematodes: More ink!
Squidward: HEY! [shakes them off of him] Okay, that’s it. I’m convinced. 
SpongeBob: We need to get rid of them. They’re disruptive!
Sandy: Disrupting what? We’re not even doing anything. [the nematodes start crowding her helmet] Okay, nevermind. [starts swatting them away] Thank god there aren’t nematodes in Texas.
Squidward: Alright, how do you suggest we handle this?
SpongeBob: I don’t know, you’re the teacher! You should know!
Squidward: What, you expect us to be experienced with nematodes sucking our noses?
SpongeBob: Yes.
Squidward: [deadpan expression] Well we’re not.
Sandy: Hey, leave it to the scientist. Squidward, if you get some of your ink, they’ll be attracted to it. Then, we can trap them!
Squidward: Hm, not bad!
SpongeBob: Good job Sandy. Perhaps we could practice some science together. [winks; Sandy slaps him]
Patrick: Me too!
Squidward: NO TALKING IN THE TIMEOUT CORNER!
Nematodes: No talking!
Squidward: You too.
[cuts to a new scene where the nematodes are scurrying around the classroom. Everyone is shifted to the side as Squidward starts to prepare to squirt]
Sandy: Alright, Squidward. I need you to squirt your ink in that circle. Then we’ll trap them with the box above them. [shows a circle marked by tape in the middle of the classroom] 
Squidward: I mean, sure, but I only produce ink when I’m scared. You’ll need to scare me if you want this to work.
Sandy: Oh don’t worry, I’ve got that all worked out. Are you ready?
Squidward: Yup.
Sandy: A Donald Trump or Joe Biden presidency.
Squidward: AHHHH! HOLY SHIT! [starts spouting out a massive blotch of ink that goes all over the place]
Sandy: Oh shit.
CrazySponge: o [some of the ink lands on him] o 
Nematodes: Ink! Ink! Ink! [start jumping over to CrazySponge, landing on him and starting to chew down on him. He disappears.]
Everyone: OMG CRAZYSPONGE DIED OH GOD OH FUCK! [the nematodes start to get even crazier, Sandy turns to Squidward]
Sandy: Squidward, what the hell? You were supposed to only squirt your ink in the circle!
Squidward: Sandy, I told you to SCARE me, not absolutely frighten the living shit out of me. That’s just what happens!
Sandy: Well, what are we supposed to do now?
Squidward: Maybe we-
SpongeBob: Uh, guys, they’ve got us trapped in a corner.
Patrick: Well that’s what Squidward did to me, so-
Squidward: NO ONE ASKED YOU! [the nematodes start to inch closer to them]
Nematode: Octopus! Octopus! Octopus!
[everyone starts to cower together in fear]
Eugene: Welp, I thought I was gonna go out by being executed for tax fraud. Not by a swarm of nematodes. 
Larry: We need something now. If only Bubble Bass was here, he’d know what to do.
[Bubble Bass comes bursting out of the bathroom door, dressed as Mermaid Man]
Bubble Bass: Did someone say my name?
SpongeBob: [gasps] Bubble Bass! You’re back from your shit!
Bubble Bass: Yeah, and I’ve gained supernatural powers from it. Time to defeat the nematode scum once and for all!
Nematodes: Ink! Ink! Ink! [Bubble Bass jumps jumps on all of the nematodes, capturing them and beating them down until they collapse. All of the students watch as they become covered in ink by the brawl. Bubble Bass comes out victorious]
Bubble Bass: Another successful battle by Mermaid- [begins to ache] Welp, looks like I have another problem to solve. Time to jerk off! 
[everyone has a deadpan expression as they look down at the nematodes]
SpongeBob: Welp, we’re safe. But how are we gonna deal with all of these nematodes?
Squidward: Hm… [looks up at Bubble Bass] Bubble Bass, we’d like to reward you for your deed.
Bubble Bass: Oh, I know exactly what I want.
[cuts to Bubble Bass’ basement where the nematodes are all dressed up as Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures]
Nematodes: Evil! Evil! Evil!
Bubble Bass: [starts yelling] No! YOU’RE BARNACLE BOY! YOU DON’T SAY EVIL! No make out with each other.
Bubble Bass’ Mom: Bubble Bass!! What are you up to down there?
Bubble Bass: Uh, nothing, mom! [sighs as the episode ends]
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