Headhunters 4: The Fantastic Fourteen

==Introduction==
An idol, a broken leg, and a Monday night meltdown. Week two brought the heat and in the end Bobecue got burned. 
==In Memorium: Bobecue Chicken==
It's been a strange path for Bobecue Chicken. Last year Bobecue Chicken was eliminated in the first (and only) head-to-head showdown with Sweet Dee (Burrow For Sure-Oh). But then, like a grilled phoenix rising from the charcoal, Bobecue was brought back into the league and went on a miracle run to third place. This made it clear that Bobecue might not be the best drafter, but he can hang once the wheeling and dealing starts. Sadly, Bob was responsible for drafting his own team again this year and things did not go well. 
Chicken had just one player narrowly beat their projection: Deebo. Everyone else shat the bed. Jones and Mills combined for 38.68 points. Nine QBs beat that number on their own. It seems impossible, but Cole Kmet still has 0 fantasy points in 2022. 73 tight ends have at least 1.10 points. Kmet is not one of them. Maybe Chicken should have drafted *checks notes* Tommy Tremble! 
But as bad as it was, things could have been worse. Heading into MNF, they somehow still had a shot against It's Blitz! Track 2. Blitz had a slight lead and Ryan Tannehill, but Bob had Dalvin Cook and AJ Brown. We all saw what Brown Could Do For You last week, and Dalvin is an integral part of that Vikings offense. A shootout would pretty much have guaranteed a victory for the wing man. Instead, the Vikings shot themselves in the foot. 
But then, after Bob fell asleep on the couch, the odds improved dramatically. Ryan Tannehill threw a pick six and got benched, finishing the day with 0.48 fantasy points. Blitz would have gotten more points had they started *checks notes* Tommy Tremble!
But Il Pollo could not complete the comeback. Jalen Hurts played so well that AJ Brown simply wasn't needed, and the Vikings stunk so bad that they pulled Dalvin Cook. It's a little poetic that the Eagles would screw over this Giants fan, but I doubt Bobecue is in the mood for poetry. If Headhunters is a full meal, Bobecue wasn't even around long enough to get the free basket of bread. Now he heads to a backyard cookout in the sky to watch over us in hopes that maybe someday Commish will kick a random team out and he can jump back into the frying pan. 
Bobecue Chicken:
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022)==
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022)
Team 	2022 Finish	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
CoachKnows 	16th (-6) 	11th (-9) 	2nd 	N/A
Bobecue Chicken	15th (-12) 	3rd (+14) 	17th (-10) 	7th
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money 2022
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
1,996 	99.8%
==New Releases==
#Ja'Marr Chase
#Deebo Samuel
#Dalvin Cook
#AJ Brown
#Cole Kmet...BAHHH, just kidding. I don't know, Melvin Gordon III?
==Week Two Bidding Results==
Week Two Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
Lamar Jackson 	deCaPitated 	$489 	$333 (Bad Boys)
Trey Lance 	Wildcat (no QBs no problem)	$277 	$32 (Bad Boys)
Mike Williams 	The Guilloteam 	$251 	$89 (deCaPitated)
Mark Andrews 	The Guilloteam 	$201 	$81 (Henry VIII)
Darrell Henderson Jr.	Wildcat (no QBs no problem)	$158 	$100 (The Guilloteam)
Rashod Bateman 	Laser Rocket Arms 	$101 	$26 (Henry VIII)
Tony Pollard 	Henry VIII 	$24 	$12 (deCaPitated)
Joe Flacco 	Muller Lite 	$21 	N/A
Treylon Burks 	The Guilloteam 	$20 	$5 (Beach McBungalow)
Jordan Mason 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	$5 	N/A
Robby Anderson 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	$5 	N/A
Cooper Rush 	Wildcat (no QBs no problem)	$3 	N/A
Greg Dortch 	Bobecue Chicken 	$3 	N/A
Chris Godwin 	The Guilloteam 	$1 	N/A
Sterling Shepard 	Bobecue Chicken 	$1 	N/A
==== Quick-Hit Thoughts====
*Good thing Bobecue won that Greg Dortch bid. He would have been in big trouble otherwise.
* Irony? Karma? A Derek Jinx? What do you call naming your team "no QBs no problem" and then spending $277 on a QB who breaks his leg ten seconds into week two?
*Wildcat doubled down on bad spend by using nearly 20% of their budget to acquire Darrell Henderson Jr., only for the clock to strike midnight and turn him into a backup pumpkin.
*Say what you will about CP making Lamar Jackson one of the most expensive players in Headhunters history (Zeke went for $563 in 2019 so Lamar is not quite #1), but it's hard to argue with results. If Jackson wants to drop 80 every week, he'll be worth his weight in fake fantasy money.
*In a strange way, that wasn't even the biggest overpay of the week. The next highest bid was $333, or 68% of the winning bid. The next highest bid for Trey Lance was just 12% of the winning bid.
*For $21, Broadway Joe Flacco proved to be the bargain of the week. Muller Lite was dead in the water before Flacco turned back the clocks and became Elite for the first time since his Super Bowl run.
==Money Spent Per Week==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2021)	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$1560 (15 Players)	$9 (2 Players) 	$1173 (12 Players) 	$1339 (7 Players)
We did it! The biggest opening week of bidding in Headhunters history. I'd like to thank all the fans, my family, and of course none of this would have been possible without the love and support of wildcat's reckless spending. 
==Week Two Results==
Week Two Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1 (6) 	Henry VIII 	291.46
2 (12) 	The Guilloteam 	259.08
3 (14) 	Bad Boys 	217.41
4 (4) 	burrow for sure-oh 	209.13
5 (13) 	Muller Lite 	204.95
6 (9) 	Laser Rocket Arms 	193.17
7 (11) 	deCaPitated 	192.89
8 (10) 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	192.83
9 (2) 	Beach McBungalow 	176.66
10 (7) 	The Executioner 	176.29
11 (1) 	Out of Luck 	158.35
12 (8) 	Mixon it Up with Mahomie 	154.64
13 (15) 	Wildcat (no QBs no problem)	148.07
14 (3) 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	122.26
15 (5) 	Bobecue Chicken 	116.35
16 	CoachKnows 	0
* Biggest Climber: The Guilloteam (^10)
*Biggest Faller: It's Blitz! Track 2 (v11)
== 2022 Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick (Last Year)	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 (1) 	Beach McBungalow 	ALIVE
2 (12) 	The Titanic 	ALIVE
3 (8) 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	ALIVE
4 (10) 	Out of Luck 	ALIVE
5 (16) 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	ALIVE
6 (7) 	Henry VIII 	ALIVE
7 (3) 	Mixon it Up wih Mahomie	ALIVE
8 (19) 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	ALIVE
9 (2) 	The Executioner 	ALIVE
10 (17) 	The Guilloteam 	ALIVE
11 (11) 	Burrow for Sure-Oh 	ALIVE
12 (14) 	CoachKnows 	1
13 (4) 	Bad Boys 	ALIVE
14 (15) 	Bobecue Chicken 	2
15 (16) 	Muller Lite 	ALIVE
16 (20) 	DeCaPitated 	ALIVE
Uh oh. Things are not going well for the bottom of the draft order. Is the Fantasy Grim Reaper coming for Bad Boys next?
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. Henry VIII===
Daddy Diggs and Matty Diggs might be the two shittiest teams in the LOC, but in Headhunters they are holding their own. Commish could have done the tactically smart thing and benched Jones/Buffalo to ensure better waiver priority. But the allure of finishing first for the first time was too great. Worth it? Maybe. Diggs put up one of the best performances ever, aided by a monster showing from Tua and projection-busting days from six other players.
===2. The Guilloteam===
If you spend big, you better perform big. It was a big day for newcomers Andrews and Williams, but it was the Monday night performance by Jalen Hurts that stole the show. As great at this was, this team still only has one startable RB and that was Dame Harris, who got banged up at the end of Sunday's game. Is it time for Guilloteam to step back into the kitchen and Dalvin Cook? 
===3. Bad Boys===
Where the hell did this come from? Bad Boys was projected for a league low 178.71 points. Enter Stefon and Tyreek, two WRs who combined for 110.20 points, almost enough to take down Bobecue Chicken's total team score of 116.35. This is especially impressive considering the late losses of Julio Jones and Alvin Kamara, which makes this still a rocky team even after the big day. 
===4. burrow for sure-oh ===
Fourth place! Fourth place! Fourth place! The finish so nice she did it twice. Chubb got fat off three TDs, and Carson returned to the glory days from Wentz he came with a 48.81 point day in Detroit. Consistent, balanced, but with room to improve on the bench. A great position for sure-oh. 
===5. Muller Lite===
A Jets fan getting saved by a Jets player. What a thing of beauty. Whatever elixer of life Flacco took before the Jets game, be real nice if he could share with guys like George Brittle. Although who knows, maybe Tyler Conklin is the real deal? Hell, maybe Muller should just keep accumulating Jets players and start a whole gang of green. Muller's bench is in rough shape and Joe won't be QB forever in NY, but for today we savor the best game the New York fan base has seen in many years.
==On the Chopping Block==
===14. It's Blitz! Track 2 ===
We knew it would be rough for Blitz and his QBs, but less than a point for Tannehill? Seems impossible. Mid-game injuries nearly tanked this team in week two. Jeudy's Booty was looking smaller than ever. Dalton Schultz is banged up. Zeke What-The-Helliot isn't hurt but looks 100 years old. It's a precarious position to be in early on when players get hurt and there are a dozen sharks in the water fighting over the newly released chum from the chopped team. 
===13. Wildcat (no QBs no problem)===
I mean there has to come a point where Wildcat can't buy any more QBs. That point might be now, because they've already spent a ton of money and there are other positions of need. But LAWD, I would not be too thrilled about heading into week three with Mac Jones and Cooper Rush as my guys. 
=== 12. Mixon It Up With Mahomie===
The way Justin Fields plays, Mahomie basically has just one QB on their roster. I wish I could take back all the time I've spent watching this piece of shit play football, if you can even call it playing football. What's a QB that can't throw? Shit, hire that WR who played Qb for Denver a couple years ago when the entire team had COVID. I think they'd be better off. At the very least, it looks like Gage is due for a huge week coming up with half the Bucs offense hurt or suspended. 
===11. Out of Luck===
A bit of a coming down to Earth for Papa, aided by average days from Justin Jefferson and D'Andre Swift and an ejection of Mike Evans. Luck seems content to roll with his team another week or two before getting involved in bidding, but can the lower end guys on this roster hold the fort until reinforcements arrive? 
=== 10. The Executioner===
Used his idol this week, but it wasn't the worst time to pull the trigger. 176.29 isn't exactly moving the needle, and his 1pm guys basically all blew chunks. What is there to do about Kyle Pitts of Despair? You can't bench him, but is this just the reality of Atlanta's offense? Chase Edmonds...the backup? Jarvis Landry should Land himself in retirement if he's not going to be the PPR machine we need him to be. But luckily the late window brought a decent showing from Murray and Denver that saved the day.
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Bobecue Chicken	162.14 	2
CoachKnows 	123.21 	1
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
CoachKnows 	2.49 	1
Bobecue Chicken	5.91 	2
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2022 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Out of Luck	235.77
1 	Henry VIII 	291.46
==Dungeon Dwellers ==
2022 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Wildcat 	125.70
2 	It's Blitz! Track 2	122.26
==Single Season Scoring Records==
As teams get eliminated, their single season performance will appear here. 
Bobecue sets a weird record here. He becomes the first team to finish a season between 300-400 points. 
All-Time Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3428.76	CP 	2019
3402.18	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3121.28	Return of the Mac 	2021
3049.02	Bobecue Chicken 	2021
3015.53	Mixon Beer 	2020
3013.13	Müller Lite 	2021
2997.67	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2743.25	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59	Mac 	2019
2677.20	Out of Luck 	2021
2620.18	The Titanic 	2021
2422.98	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	2019
2377.31	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51	CP 	2020
2282.91	Out of Luck 	2020
2262.36	Bad Boys 	2021
2233.57	Soul Survivor 	2021
2134.22	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	2021
2046.35	LIVEWithIt 	2019
1941.63	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1939.02	Beach McBungalow 	2021
1936.45	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2021
1817.79	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1749.51	The Guilloteam 	2021
1736.99	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1509.41	CP 	2021
1483.70	Last Coach Standing 	2021
1473.18	Henry VIII 	2021
1439.40	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1357.00	Henry VIII 	2019
1238.56	Bluedevils 	2019
1182.09	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	2021
1160.81	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2021
1132.61	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63	Mac 	2020
1049.89	LIVEWithIt 	2020
991.57 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2021
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
768.10 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2021
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls	2020
544.55 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2021
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
324.28 	Bobecue Chicken 	2022
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
123.21 	CoachKnows 	2022
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
Same as above: eliminated teams will have their 2022 season added to the total.
Bob is at risk of falling in the standings this year as a result of his early exit. Out of Luck has already passed him, with Mixon set to do so next week. 
It's Blitz has become the fourth team to pass 7,000 total points in Headhunters, while CP holds the narrowest of leads on the all-time list. 
 
All-Time Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played
7223.68	CP 	3
7124.49	The Guilloteam 	3
6886.50	The Executioner 	3
6679.80	It's Blitz! Track 2 	3
5844.65	Laser Rocket Arms 	3
5774.89	Bobecue Chicken 	4
5677.93	Out of Luck 	3
5270.32	Mixon It Up With Mahomie	3
5186.35	Neck-Fix and Chill 	3
5045.26	Beach McBungalow 	3
4586.98	CoachKnows 	3
4312.78	Wildcat 	3
4051.36	burrow for sure-oh 	2
4000.46	Bad Boys 	3
3962.79	Henry VIII 	3
3406.56	Hasta Laviska Baby 	3
3058.93	Ya Hate 2 See It 	3
3013.13	Müller Lite 	1
1885.08	Shotti's Bugatti 	2
1238.56	Bluedevils 	1
698.91 	Phillip's Team 	1
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2
Wildcat needed 148.50 to pass Coach and he scored 148.07, but with just a fraction of a point next week he will move in to 11th all-time on the scoring list.
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 09/20/22
Player 	Total Budget
burrow for sure-oh 	$1000
Beach McBungalow 	$1000
The Executioner 	$1000
Hasta Laviska Baby 	$1000
Mixon It Up With Mahomie	$1000
It's Blitz! Track 2 	$990
Muller Lite 	$979
Henry VIII 	$976
Out of Luck 	$900
Laser Rocket Arms 	$899
Bad Boys 	$850
deCaPitated 	$661
The Guilloteam 	$627
Wildcat 	$652
Bobecue Chicken 	0
CoachKnows 	0
==Conclusion ==
Happy hunting y'all!