Fun Branch/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Fun Branch".
== ==
(Branch is walking to a pond to start his day.)
Branch: (sighs) What a beautiful sky. What a beautiful pond. (A fly’s buzzing and a frog’s croaking can be heard. The frog eats the fly with its tongue.) What a beautiful- (A fish eats the frog and he backs up.) Where is everyone today? (He hears distant laughter and sees the Trolls playing their Sunday Squish Ball game. Smidge and Guy Diamond are throwing squish balls at their friends.)
Guy Diamond: Yeah! (He throws his squish ball at Mr. Dinkles and Biggie gasps.)
Biggie: (Dodging past the squish ball in slow-motion) No! (He gets hit by the squish ball.) They… got me. (groans) Mr. Dinkles, let me hear that song I love one last time.
Mr. Dinkles: Meep.
Biggie: That’s the one.
Branch: What are you guys doin’?
DJ Suki: Nothin’. (She throws one of her squish balls.) Just our regular Sunday Squish Ball game.
Branch: Oh, so you play this every Sunday? Without me? (Satin and Chenille send Cooper flying with their hair.)
Cooper: Whooooooooo! (As he flies, he laughs and throws one of his squish balls at Guy Diamond. He yells as he crashes through most of the Snack Pack’s homes. Satin and Chenille gasp in shock. Cooper is seen lying on one of the pods.) My butt broke my fall! (Later, worker Fuzzlings are trying to get Cooper off of the damaged pod.)
Branch: (As he and the other Snack Pack members watch) So can’t help but notice you never invited me to play Squish Ball.
Guy Diamond: Oh… yeah, we thought this might come up. But don’t worry, Branch, no need to thank us.
Branch: Thank you? For excluding me?
DJ Suki: Uh-huh. We know how much you hate having fun, so we decided not to bother you with it. No biggie.
Satin: Yeah, what are friends for? Group hug! (The Snack Pack hugs Branch tightly.)
Branch: (Pushing the Snack Pack away) Whoa, whoa! You guys have me all wrong. I like fun. And I’d love to play Squish Ball, especially if we added a few safety precautions, huh? Like helmets, pads… ooh, rules.
Satin: I think we’re talking about different versions of fun.
Branch: No, no, no. I can be your version of fun, too. I’ll prove it to you. (Poppy and a Fuzzling appear on the tree branch.)
Poppy: Hey, gang! The Fuzzlings say your homes will take a few days to repair. (She jumps off the tree branch.) It’ll be tight, but you can squeeze into my place in the meantime.
Branch: No. They’ll stay with me.
Poppy: At the Fear Bunker?
Branch: At the Fun Bunker. (Poppy and her friends enter Branch's bunker on the elevator. Dance music can be heard. As soon as it lands, Branch greets them.) Hey, hey. Welcome to the Fun Bunker. The bunker of fun! (He pulls down on a string and a red balloon floats down. Then it deflates.) There were supposed to be more.
Poppy: Branch, can I talk to you for a sec?
Branch: Sure. Just go ahead and put your stuff in the color-coordinated luggage bins, guys. Or wherever. (He laughs as the Snack Pack goes to put their stuff away.)
Poppy: Branch, this is ridiculous. You don’t have to prove you’re fun. If you want to play Squish Ball. I can just go talk to them.
Branch: (Stopping Poppy by pushing her) No. I don’t want them to hang out with me ‘cause you told them to. I can handle this.
Poppy: Oh, Branch. I know for a fact you can’t handle this. See, ‘cause right now, DJ is putting her cup on your table without a coaster. (Branch turns his head and gasps because he sees DJ Suki putting her cup on his table without a coaster. A drop of her drink runs down it. Branch grunts.) You know it’s gonna leave a ring. Go on. Bring her a coaster. And I’ll see you later… (She talks in slow-motion.) Fun Branch. (She laughs in slow-motion as she leaves and Branch whimpers. He sees the spilt drink on his table.)
DJ Suki: Should I use one of those?
Branch: (grunts and whimpers) Uh, no. No, no. Fun guys don’t use coasters. These are for, um… indoor target practice. (The Snack Pack cheers.)
Guy Diamond: Wait, targeting what, exactly? That? (Branch turns his head and sees a target on the wall.)
The Snack Pack: Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it! (Branch’s mind goes to a flashback to when he was little.)
Branch’s Father: Branch, the bull’s-eye has been in our family crest for generations, symbolizing our integrity. (Branch looks at the target.) May it forever aim true. Treasure this… (Echoing as it fades back to the present) Always, always.
Branch: I’m sorry, Father.
The Snack Pack: Shoot it! (Branch throws the coaster at the target and it shatters and falls on the floor.)
DJ Suki: Whoa, that’s not against the rules?
Branch: Rules? In the Fun Bunker, anything goes. (The Snack Pack cheers.)
Cooper: It’s about to get crazy up in here! (Later, he, Branch, Guy Diamond, DJ Suki, Satin and Chenille are standing by a box with a question mark.) The idea for this game came to me in a dream. It involves a mysterious box…
Branch: Ooh, mystery box. That’s fun.
Cooper: (Putting a bucket of black grease on the floor) A bucket of grease…
Branch: Okay. Sounds messy. Which is great.
Cooper: And, of course, a wild animal! (He holds some grapes and a Puffalo comes out of the mysterious box. Then it runs around the bunker.) Catch it! Catch it! Catch it!
Satin: Catch it, Branch! Catch it!
The Snack Pack: Catch it! Catch it!
Branch: Whoa! (He runs into a shelf and catches two jars.) Okay. (As Cooper laughs, the Puffalo runs toward him and hits him.)
The Snack Pack: Catch it!
Branch: So… (chuckles nervously) ... I can see this is gonna be just a great time. (His voice echoes the word time three times into a hole. Then the camera reveals that the Trolls are wearing ropes around their wastes.) But before we jump, perhaps someone else would like to express concerns over… I don’t know, how physically and emotionally scarring this could be?
Chenille: Nope! You go, wild man! (She pushes Branch into the hole and he falls down screaming.)
Branch: WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!! (The rope stops him from hitting sharp rocks. A mouse smooches him in the face. Branch flies back up again. The Snack Pack cheers and jump down the hole. Branch reaches the top, hovers in the air, and gasps. Then he falls again. Mr. Dinkles can be seen reading a newspaper.) When does it end?! (He soon lands again.) I’m OK?! I’m OK! (The camera zooms out and we see that the Snack Pack is hanging in different directions and poses. They cheer and the Puffalo appears again. It crashes into him once again. Later, Branch is looking in the mirror to see his messy hair.) Hey! You pull yourself together, man. Yes, this next thing they want you to do is undoubtedly the most horrific one yet, but this is the price of inclusion.
DJ Suki: Branch! Come on, dude. Let’s do this. (Branch breaths deeply and leaves his bathroom. He gasps to see the Snack Pack eating a bowl of cookies.) You’re gonna love eating cookies in bed. (As she and the others eat, cookie crumbs fall on Branch’s bed. He watches in horror as DJ Suki wipes her fingers into his blanket. Branch hears the Puffalo again and he yells as he gets hit again.)
The Snack Pack: Catch it! (Branch later wakes up to see Satin and Chenille standing next to him.)
Chenille: OK, Branch, we’ve got one more thing we want to do.
Branch: (weak) More fun? (He gets up.) Just what I wanted to hear. (Chenille holds out a squish ball and he takes it.) A squish ball?
Guy Diamond: Sorry we never invited you to Squish Ball. We had no idea you liked actual fun.
DJ Suki: So, you up for a game next Sunday? (Branch looks at the squish ball for a moment.)
Branch: Of course I am. I’m Fun Branch! (The Snack Pack cheers and hug him.)
Cooper: Whoo! (Several red balloons float down from the ceiling.)
Branch: Ha-ha! See? I told you there were more! Whoo!
Poppy: Branch?
Branch: Poppy! (Poppy appears on the elevator.) Shocked to find us all having a good time?
Poppy: Honestly, I’m stunned you’re not in a fetal position, but I came to say your Pods are fixed and you can go home.
The Snack Pack: Aw.
Branch: Aw. Yes! (He guides his friends to the elevator.) This is such a bummer.
Chenille: Yeah. We were having such a good time.
Branch: I know. I’m equally disappointed. (He runs and picks up a basket.) Oh, gosh, if only you could stay.
Chenille: Well, no-one says we have to leave.
Branch: Wait, what?
DJ Suki: Yeah, we could stay a bit longer!
Guy Diamond: Or maybe we just move in. Uh, that is, if you’re really up for it, Branch.
Branch: Uh… (He looks at his friends.) I can’t think of any reason why I wouldn’t be.
Poppy: (As her hair droops) Huh? (The Snack Pack cheers.)
DJ Suki: (Taking out a radio) Roommate dance party! (She turns on the radio and they all begin to dance except for Branch. He drags Poppy away and she yells.)
Branch: This is a disaster. I will die if they move in.
Poppy: So drop the Fun Branch act.
Branch: And go back to being excluded? No. I’m stuck between a rock and a… (Cooper comes between him and Poppy.) Cooper!
Cooper: (Dancing with Branch) Hey! Oh, you can handle this. Whoo!
Branch: (Being spun around) This is great!
Poppy: Branch, you can’t keep up this crazy fun guy act and get them to leave.
Branch: Or… can I? (Later that night, the Snack Pack is sleeping in Branch’s bunker. Cooper is talking in his sleep. Branch peeks out from his room.) Emergency! Emergency!
Guy Diamond: Uh-oh, what? What’s the problem?
Branch: The problem is that you were sleeping when you could’ve been dancing. (He turns on DJ Suki’s radio and the rest of the Snack Pack wakes up. Then they start dancing all night. The next morning, they are tired from dancing through the night. Branch turns off the music.) You guys look like you could use a break. (He uncovers some food.) How about a little food? (DJ Suki gasps.)
Guy Diamond: Ooh.
Branch: (Throwing doughnuts in DJ Suki’s face) Fight! (He throws the doughnuts at the rest of the Snack Pack.) Are you guys tired? I know what you need. (He picks up the radio.) Dance party!
Guy Diamond: Huh? (Branch starts dancing while the Snack Pack refuses. Later, they are relaxing in a hot tub.) This feels so good. (Cooper floats on his back.)
Satin: Oh, finally.
Chenille: Some peace and quiet. (Branch slowly comes up out of the water with the radio.)
Branch: (quietly) Dance party! (The Snack Pack screams in fright. Later, they are packing their bags and getting ready to leave.) Well, I gotta say, I hate to see you guys go, but at least we’ll all leave with plenty of memories of how fun I am. (The Snack Pack walk toward the elevator.) And We’re gonna make more fun memories at Squish Ball!
Guy Diamond: (sighs) Actually, we’ve been talking, and we don’t think we can handle you coming to Squish Ball, Branch.
Chenille: Yeah, you’re actually too fun for us.
Satin: It’s not that we don’t like you. You just kind of freak us out. But in a nice way. (The Snack Pack gets on the elevator and leaves.)
Branch: What have I done? (A toilet flushing can be heard.)
Cooper: I was just asking myself the same question. (He runs out of the bathroom.) Ooh-hoo-hoo! (A flood of water and cupcakes roars into the room.) Oh! (Cooper screams and gets on the elevator. Branch cleans up the mess.)
Poppy: Branch! (She comes in.) Wow, that is a lot of butt prints. Looks like Guy Diamond had a good time.
Branch: Actually, these are from Fun Branch. (Poppy gives him an angry look.) I’ve done things I’m not proud of.
Poppy: Ew.
Branch: (sighs) Yeah. Guess I was pretty committee to proving I’m fun. Didn’t count on them being afraid of me, though.
Poppy: They’re afraid of Fun Branch. You should have shown them Branch. Branch. (Branch looks at the squish ball for a moment and comes up with an idea.)
Branch: Maybe I still can. It’s better than facing what Fun Branch did in the kitchen. (chuckles) You really don’t want to know. (Later, Poppy is leading the Snack Pack to their surprise.)
Poppy: Almost there, guys. Your surprise is just around this bend. (They soon reach Branch. Satin screams in shock.)
Satin: Please… no more dance parties!
Branch: That’s fine with me.
Cooper: Hm?
Branch: I’m not a crazy party animal, guys, but I do like having fun… in my own way. That’s why I built this. (He pushes the bushes to reveal pads, nets, and safety gear.) There’s pads, nets, and safety gear so you can play as hard as you want without getting hurt or destroying your homes. (The Snack Pack gasps happily.) Plus, I added a few bonus features.
DJ Suki: (Running toward the mushrooms) This place is tight! (She lands on a net.)
Chenille: (Putting on a pair of glasses) Safe and fashion forward.
Cooper: (Wearing a helmet on his butt) I’ve always wanted a butt helmet! How’d you know?!
Branch: So, you guys want to play?
Guy Diamond: Does this answer your question? (He does a glitter fart. Later, the Trolls are having fun with Squish Ball and being safe. Biggie and Guy Diamond slide down a rope. Branch puts on a helmet and gets ready to be sent flying by Satin and Chenille’s hair.)
Satin and Chenille: Ready?
Branch: Ready. (Biggie gets ready to send him flying.) Wait! Actually, I’m not sure I- (He screams as he goes flying skyward.)
Satin: Yay! He is fun! (The screen cuts to black and the Puffalo’s sound is heard.)
All: Catch it!
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