Bra Bashing

==Publishers Summary==
Germaine sits at her laptop, typing. Her breasts are barely being held into her shirt.
: Foamy
: Dude! Why are your bras all over the room?
: Germaine
: Pounds on table angrily.
: 'Cause I'm fed up with them! I'm not wearing bras anymore.
: Foamy
: So why?
: Germaine
: They're man-made torture devices. All they do it cut off your circulation, make it difficult to breathe, and squeeze your tits together so guys can stare at your cleavage! I refuse to be encumbered by mans' tortuous garments of oppression!
: Foamy
: You know, I've noticed, any time you gain some weight, and you can't fit into your old clothes, your old clothes become {emphasizes each word with finger quotes} tortuous garments of oppression. Why is that?
: Germaine
: Lowly tone.
: My undies are always oppressing me.
: Foamy
: Yeah, okay. You just don't want to accept the fact that you're gaining weight. So you redirect your self-loathing on your clothes! It's quite sad, really.
: Germaine
: Defensive.
: Nuh-uh.
: Foamy
: Dude. Why don't you just buy some new clothes?
: Germaine
: Angrily.
: My clothes are fine! {unsure} I can still fit into them.
: Foamy
: Um, why are you wearing a thong?
The view cuts to behind Germaine's computer, where her butt is visible.
: Germaine
: It... It's not a thong.
: Foamy
: Well, then your ass has consumed another pair of underwear!
The view cuts back to the front of Germaine's computer.
: Foamy
: And, frankly, that shirt needs a little help, too.
: Germaine
: Angrily
: It's fine.
: Foamy
: Dude! Your boobs are almost popping out of your... You know what? Never mind. I don't care. Every time I try to give advice, no one listens. Well fine.
: Cut to behind computer.
: Go about your life blindly, with your ass continuously eating your underwear,...
cut to front of computer.
: ...while your tits pop out of your shirt every time you take a breath. God forbid you buy some new clothes that actually fit.
: Germaine
: Sadly.
: But I don't want to wear and extra-large.
The view cuts to behind Germaine's computer.
: Foamy
: Extra-large? Who are you kidding? Your ass is going for triple XL, my bloated friend.
The view cuts back to the front of Germaine's computer.
: Germaine
: Why can't I just stop eating all those really tasty junk foods?
: Foamy
: Because they're really tasty.
: Germaine
: Sarcastically.
Thank you for your brilliant observation.
: Foamy
: Not at all. Here's another observation. {cut to back of computer} Your blubbery ass is devouring your chair!
Anchovie peers in from the right with an awed look on his face.
: Germaine
: You know, I don't appriciate your sarcasm.
: Foamy
: That's okay. Millions of viewers do. {ducks down}
Germaine and Anchovie stare at each other.
: Anchovie
: I'd just like to say I admire your...
Looks at Germaine's butt.
...convictions.
: Germaine
: Fuck... you.
End screen appears.
: Anchovie
: Rude.