SpongeBob SquarePants Intro Bloopers Season 1 Complete Full Length Version by James Kephart Entertainment Inc.

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius. Not The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius, SpongeBob SquarePants. The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius is the TV show should be the TV show. Change the logo now! Coca-Cola. Do they mean the Super Bowl XLV champion, Coca-Cola? Don't remind me, Mary. I wanted Pittsburgh to win. Not Coca-Cola, SpongeBob SquarePants. Change it! Well, what are you waiting for? Okay, okay. Don't rush me. Blue's Clues? Blue's Clues? That logo should watch its the cartoon. You idiot! You changed the wrong logo! Now get it right immediately! Now it's Dora the Explorer. I never watched Dora the Explorer. Hey Mr. Shield, can you make the next logo read Little Bear? As good as done, Mary. Of course, we all know Sam's Dora the Explorer is P-U. *** *** ***! That's enough! Shield, you're not going to display Dora the Explorer or Little Bear or even Oswald. You are under contract to display SpongeBob SquarePants and only SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm giving you one last chance. That does it! Shield, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I have only this to say to you: Little Bill! I'm going to visit Tom and Jerry at M-G-M. If he's fired, I quit. Little Bill, Sam. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! No, no, no! The SpongeBob SquarePants caption is supposed to stop when the music starts, not fly away. Let's try it again. Uh-oh! Runaway caption! He didn't want to be detected by crooks. He's a *** show-off. Now let's try the intro again. All right Shield, what are you trying to do to us? I just wanted to spice things up. You should know when to stop. Now let's try the intro again. Stop the music! This is the music for other version! Now let's try it one more time. Jeez Louise! Who flipped the frame? Sorry. I hit a bump in the road. Well, that explains it. Let's break for lunch. B-backwards N-D? What the hell kind of weird-*** name is that? Looks like a Buddha. If this Buddha can bend it, who needs Beckham? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Lorimar. Where have I heard that name before? I used to date her, but she dumped me for a foreign logo. Whataburger! Whataburger. They bring good things to life. What is this, a commercial? You can be sure... ...if it's Westinghouse. Get out of here, Westinghouse! This is not a commercial production. What are you talking about? This is a free country, isn't it? Out out out out out! O-U-T! Out! Sam, Sam, Sam. Why must you be so rude to our guests? Shut up, you ***! Sonic Drive-In. I used to own a Sonic Drive-In set. I was expecting a Sonic Drive-In restaurant myself. Get out! No more commercial plugs in a cartoon! Period! Wendy's. How do you Wendy's? I Wendy's very well. Now this is getting racy. I agree. What else could come up? The Viacom V of Doom? Oh noes! I shouldn't have said that! [POW!] [BLAM!] Jeez Louise! Did you see that? I don't believe it. The V of Doom just ran Microsoft Sam over like a steamroller. Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam. Did you get the license of that truck? Let's get Sam to a hospital. Doc McStuffins? Doc McStuffins? That's not right. That's wrong! It should be SpongeBob SquarePants, not Doc McStuffins. Doc McStuffins makes me think of a children's TV show. Speak for yourself, Mike. I just used the restroom a couple of minutes ago. I can tell. I can smell it from a mile away. P-U. Now that's silly. Who ever heard of a W-W-W SpongeBob SquarePants caption? World War? Wild Whiskey? Weird Willie? Wolf Whistle. Do that to me, Sam, and I'll slap you! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Now what in the heck is a B-B-B SpongeBob SquarePants caption? I've heard of a B-B-B gun, but not a B-B-B SpongeBob SquarePants caption. BBBBBBBBBBB! I hope they get it right this time. Sofia the First? Sofia the First? I don't want tuberculosis. Computer voices never catch tuberculosis. We don't even have lungs. Tuberculosis? Eewwwwww! They'd better get it right this time, or else! Oh no! Not BP! Anything but BP! I don't care if they cleaned up their image after that oil spill! I'm never getting gasoline from BP as long as I live! You hear me? Never! Now hear this! If you diss BP one more time, I'm going to beat you up! Screw you, BP! We all hate you, and we wish you were never invented! All right, you asked for it! No no no no no no! I'd take it back! [BLAM!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam! He's out cold, Mary. We'll have to get him to the hospital. And look at the set. It's falling apart. We'll have to put up an OUT OF ORDER sign before we get Sam to the doctor. Great idea, Mike. Now let's go. What the hell is this? There are no captions with SpongeBob! I agree with you, Sam. Caption Guy, go back and get some captions. KFC? I thought Taco Bell owned KFC, not Nickelodeon. KFC, Taco Bell, Chipotle. I eat a chicken at KFC. Wrong logo. Change it. This is not Chick-Fil-A, this is SpongeBob SquarePants. Change it. [NBC Chimes] The following program is brought to you in Living Color on NBC. Oh, how cute. I love peacocks. I don't. I'm allergic to them. Ahhh... ahhh... Ahh-CHOOOO! Gesundheit. Ah, a new house. I've always wanted to live in a NET house. Keep it up, Sam, and you'll be living in a NUT house! As for you, NET House, go back and get me the SpongeBob SquarePants caption! NOW! Mike, why must you be such a buttwipe? Sam, you an ***? Sam, you sonofabitch, I am not a *** ***! You're a potty mouth, as well as a liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! SpongeBob SquarePants on Church's Chicken? That'd be new. Anything would be better than that chicken restaurant that they eat some chicken. Go! Go go go go go go go! Take it easy, Mike. It's not my fault we keep getting all the wrong logos. It could be worse, like the Screen Gems S from Hell. No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooo! Not that! Not the S from Hell! Let me outta here! Eeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... What's the matter with Sam? He's been terrified of scary logos. First the Viacom V of Doom, next the BP Shield, now the Screen Gems S from Hell. I think he needs professional help. I agree, Mary. Let's find him, then we'll seek out a psychiatrist. Hahahahahahahahahahah lol lol lol lol rofl rofl rofl rofl soi soi soi soi! What's so *** funny, Sam? The caption SpongeBob SquarePants is said came in without the SpongeBob. Hahhahahaahahahahahah! It just looks so exquisite that way. Season 9? The SpongeBob SquarePants Season 9 caption in a SpongeBob SquarePants Season 1 intro? They must be really ahead of their time. Season 9 caption, this is a SpongeBob SquarePants Season 1 intro and you don't come in until in Season 9. Season 6? Didn't they make shoes? I take a size 9. Season 1, not Season 6! Now it's the SpongeBob SquarePants Season 7 logo. Our SpongeBob SquarePants can be Nickelodeon if Sam wasn't such a grouch. That doesn't come in until in Season 7. Go back and bring up the proper logo. Lionsgate? That didn't even exist in 1999. And this is supposed to be Nickelodeon. Get out of here now! Sam, Sam, Sam, why are you such a grouch? Who asked you, ***? Stop calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! Disney Junior has taken over Nickelodeon. I guess Mickey Mouse Clubhouse will star in a SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon soon. No more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, my friend, and I'm giving you one more chance. The Toys R Us in a SpongeBob SquarePants intro! Now Toys R Us is the toy store with Geoffrey the Giraffe. Sorry, but Toys R Us went defunct a couple of years ago. Geofrrey substituted cyanide for Geoffrey's toys and beat the snot out of the one-eyed toy. And they hanged toys for the bankruptcy of Toys R Us. There was not a dry eye in Sweethaven that day. Enough, all of you! And as for the idiot messing up the logos, you're fired! Now you've done it, Sam! Where are we going to find someone to man the intro? There are plenty of other fish in this ocean. They come a dime a dozen. While we're looking for a replacement, let's all go out for lunch. All right! What's going on here? Hey---you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. You got the caption wrong. It's either SpongeBob SquarePants, not SquareBob SpongePants. Go back and change it. Okay, boss. SpongePants SquareBob? They should have stuck with SquareBob SpongePants. I agree. Sounds like tunes for me--- SquareBob SpongePants. Hee hee hee hee hee! That's R-O-N-G wrong. Start over. What's this? "StnapErauqs BobEgnops?" What the hell are you trying to do to me? I was trying to do the whole thing with mirrors. What you have is a mirror image. Go back and do it right. Well, tscha! Nobody appreciates creativity any more. Hey Sam, they finally gave you top billing. I knew they'd give Sam his due sooner or later. Only something's not right. What do you mean? I gave you your proper billing, didn't I? Not the title card you're showing now, the one before it. What's wrong with it? The word to the left of SpongeBob is wrong. It should say "SpongeBob SquarePants," not "Nickelodeon resents." It's not a mistake. Nickelodeon really does resent you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Why you--- [BOOM!] Take it easy, Sam. He was just teasing you. Shut up, you ***! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! 2 logos of SpongeBob SquarePants in a cartoon! How silly! Jake and the Never Land Pirates! That's what I say! We need to talk. Yeah? Whatta you want to talk about, Sam? Not here. Meet me in my office in five minutes. Don't be too rough on him, Sam. He's only learning the ropes. I'm in charge and I'll do what I want. Besides, jobs like his come a dime a dozen. Cut! All right, what's going on here? Hey, you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. It's not supposed to be Harvey Girls Forever; it's supposed to be SpongeBob SquarePants. Change it! No, it is not an improvement, but next time, it's not Go Diego Go, it's SpongeBob SquarePants and get it right, capeesh? As Steve Martin used to say, well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Hey Mike, look at the caption! The Lion Guard. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny, you ***! One TV show is supposed to have The Lion Guard and the other SpongeBob SquarePants. Change it, or else! Tscha! I can't stand being "or elsed." What are you anyway, a comedian or something? Get it right! Now! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "The Wiggles!" That's rich! Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah Mary, that's so funny! Ha ha ha ha ha! That does it! SpongeBob guy, yoooooooooooou're fired! Fired? Fired? Screw you, Microsoft Sam! I'll see you in court! Take over, Mike. See if you can get it right, unlike that dime-a-dozen bum. Sorry, forgot to put the words "SpongeBob SquarePants" to the left of the SpongeBob byline. I'll try again. Dang! Now I forgot the byline! I miss that dime-a-dozen bum already. Don't worry, Mike. All you need is a little more practice. Let's take a break. There, there, Sam. You're probably having one of those days. After the break, I'll see if we can get the old caption guy back before he sues us for wronngful termination. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-otch! Cut! Where's the SquarePants? I see a SpongeBob, but no SquarePants. All right, you ***! Where's the SpongeBob? He had to take a leak. I don't give a flying caption! Go back and get me the SpongeBob! All right, all right! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Steak 'n Shake? What is this, a hamburger restaurant? Steak 'n Shake without hamburgers? Eeewwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Not Steak 'n Shake, you fool! SpongeBob SquarePants! Change it! NOW!! Arby's. We must be in the restaurant. Sandwich must be hiding out someplace. Not Arby's! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants! All right! Can I help it if you act childish? Blue's Clues & You? I feel like I'm in a TV show. I'm all for going to the steam room when this program is over. So am I, but Sam better keep his towels dry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, you ***! And as for the SpongeBob guy, one more slip-up, and I'll have you transferred to the Pink Panther Show! Sam, Sam, Sam. What makes you act like such a grouch? That's none of your business, you ***! I am not an ***, you sonofabitch! I'm not a sonofabitch, you ***! [BUZZER] And stop razzing me! That's what I say! SpongeBob guy, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I'll sue you for every cent you've got, Microsoft Sam! It will only be frivolous because I fired that dime-a-dozen bum with cause! There, there, Sam. Let me try the intro. Can't be any worse than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Liar! Uh-oh! I had the picture upside down. I'll try to fix it. Later, Mary. Let's take a break. You need a vacation, Sam. Your nerves have been bothering you lately. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! I agree with you, Mike. He's having a bad day. Oy vey! Cut, cut, cut! The SpongeBob SquarePants intro isn't supposed to be Season 1, not Season 10. Sorry, Boss. I just got a little excited. You again!? I thought I fired you last episode. You did, but I filed a lawsuit against you and won, so here I am again. I see your point. Now, you better toe the line, or else! Remind me to fire my lawyers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Harbor Freight in SpongeBob SquarePants! I agree that it's funny, Mike. I guess we better pack our bags and move to Japan. We're not moving to Japan. Harbor Freight does not own Nickelodeon. Get me the proper logo! Now! Walgreens is into SpongeBob SquarePants now? I can just see the pharmaceutical store meeting SpongeBob. What the hell is the Walgreens logo doing in my SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon? Get out! Now! Now it's Rite Aid that's trying to take over SpongeBob SquarePants. This sucks! I hate Rite Aid, you hear? I hate Rite Aid! I hate Rite Aid! I hate Rite Aid! Jeez Louise! I goofed again! Have mercy! Go! Go go go go go go go! And this time, stay outta my life forever! Oh yeah? Well, try this on for size, you ***! Look, it's Circle K. Those knuckleheads make me laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What are you anyway, a Wisenheimer? I told you to get out of my life forever. I heard you fired your lawyers, so there's no way you can kick me out of here. I'll find a way to kick you out, all right. You just try. In the meantime, chew on this! Judas Priest! It's the Screen Gems S from Hell! I hate that infernal logo so much, I wanna barf all over it! What the hell? I'll do it now! [Sam barfing] Nice try, but you're still forever banned from working here under penalty of death. Okay, Sam. If you insist on barring me from my job, I'm using my secret weapon. Take that, you meany! Oh noes! It's that infernal Viacom V of Doom! Let me outta here! Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Not so fast there, Microsoft Sam! I was sent here to torment you. And if you don't re-hire me, Sam, the V of Doom will torment you forever! This is all your doing, you dime-a-dozen bum! I'll never re-hire you and this infernal V of Doom will never get away with--- Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You leave Microsoft Sam alone, you terd! Do not interfere with justice, you ***! That's enough, V of Doom! For tormenting Sam and insulting Mike, I'm letting you have it! Take that, you King Daddy of scary logos! [BOOM!!] Thanks, Mary. You saved my life. Speakonia Male 1, you're re-hired. I should have known better. Just don't threaten me with scary logos again. It's a deal, Sam. [NBC Chime] Oy vey! Now it's the NBC Snake. Next, they'll say "brought to you in Living Color." Brought to you in Living Color. Now cut that out! Judas Priest! Just back on the job, and already Sam's starting in on me again! Take it easy, Sam. He's been having a rough time lately, and so have you. I guess you're right, Mike. I think we could use nice relaxing vacation. Perhaps we can go to Japan. Just kidding! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ut! All right, SpongeBob guy, who are you trying to impress? I wanted to get a little creative. The intro is supposed to display Season 3, not Season 7. You'll get kids to poop in their pants. Poop in their pants? P-U! Look, Mary, it's TDK Mediactive. TDK Mediactive? Great! Now we can play video games uninterrupted, uncut and uncensored. I have one word for putting TDK Mediactive where Nickelodeon would normally be: uneducated. Take back the TDK Mediactive logo and get me the SpongeBob SquarePants caption! Now! The Secret Life of Pets? That's nice. It used to be The Secret Life of Pets before it became. The Secret Life of Pets meant a 2016 Illumination movie. Not The Secret Life of Pets, SpongeBob SquarePants. Take it back and bring up the right logo. Antz. Something is wrong. Yeah. That's why I sent the Antz out here. Something always goes wrong whenever Microsoft Sam shows up. You cheap sonofabitch, this is not a movie flick. Get rid of the Antz and bring up the SpongeBob SquarePants caption, or you'll be SOL. All right! Jeez Louise, you are such a grouch today! And my name is Microsoft Sam, not Jeez Louise. Calm down, Sam. You know he's trying as best he can. He's very trying, you ***! You call me an *** one more time, Sam, and I'll wipe your *** with a porcupine. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Microsoft Mike, why don't you accept the fact that you are an *** and you can't change what you are because it's a fact you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Sam? I'm okay, Mary. I just got so pissed off at Mike for objecting to my calling him an ***. Be a little more careful who you call an ***, you sonofabitch! Arby's. We have the meats. We have the not meats. This is not a commercial. DreamWorks Animation. I wonder if SpongeBob SquarePants meets Shrek. I agree. What did I tell you about productions in a SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon? Sorry, Sam, I was put the logo. Get that production outta here! Now!! And if you give me one more production, I'll take you to Universal Studios! Universal Studios? Eeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Spanning the globe to bring you all the highlights in the Barron's Home Video. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. You fool! This is not Barron's Home Video, this is SpongeBob SquarePants. Get me the proper logo, or I'll give you the agony of defeat! Give me a break, Sam! I've been running back and forth so much, I'm already suffering the agony of de feet. De feet hurt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Ha ha ha ha" yourself. Very droll joke. Oh well. Since we mentioned food earlier, let's all take a lunch break. Cut! All right, what's the big idea? Tscha! This is supposed to be a SpongeBob SquarePants intro, isn't it? True, but the intro is supposed to be the Season 4, not Season 9. Go back and change it. All right, all right! Picky, picky, picky! Fry's Electronics SquarePants? How loud do you think they are? AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Mary, you don't have to yell! Sheesh! And it's not Fry's Electronics, it's SpongeBob! Change it now! Shush the sheesh, Sam! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Continental Girbau. They make strong movies, don't they? Not Continental Girbau... SpongeBob. Happy Tree Friends SquarePants. One dose and you'll go SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Sorry, wrong number. Craig of the Creek? Are we on "Craig of the Creek" all of a sudden? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You buttwipe! This is 1999, and "Craig of the Creek" doesn't come on until 2018. Correct the caption now, or I'll make you watch Craig of the Creek on Cartoon Network! Sam, Sam, Sam, why must you always turn a SpongeBob SquarePants intro into your own personal sweatshop? Quit making insubordinate comments, you ***! Tantrum coming on now. No no no no no no no no no no! Every time I try to calm Sam down, he acts like he's Genghis Khan! Well, I'm sick of this! Do you hear me? I'm sick of it! Sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!] If I hear any more outbursts like that, it's over! No! No! No! Out of Jimmy's Head did not exist in 1999! Go back and get it right! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Robot Chicken does not own Nickelodeon nor does it own SpongeBob! And that theme music belongs to the Season 10 version! One more slip-up and it's the end! No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! How dare you pair rival studio logos together! This is the end! I'm not doing any more SpongeBob SquarePants! You're all fired! Do you hear me? F-I-R-E-D! Fired! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't even bother coming here expecting your jobs back, 'cause that's never gonna happen! Never never never never never! Judas Priest! What a temper! Anybody know of a good lawyer? We oughta sue Sam. If he thinks he'll get away with dumping us like this, he's got another thing coming. We'll get revenge on Sam one of these days. ASSWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What's so funny, Mike? The SpongeBob SquarePants intro's acting like a Season 6! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Season 6's are fun. I wish I watched one when I was a kid. Enough with the Season 6's. I'm getting dizzy. The Pacifier has invaded SpongeBob SquarePants! Looks like we're in for an invasion of sitcoms. Sam would have a royal fit if he saw this logo in a SpongeBob cartoon. Could you try to get the SpongeBob SquarePants caption back, please? Oops! Sorry, my bad. I'll see what I can do. Now it's Bubble Guppies that's gone SpongeBob SquarePants. I can hardly wait to see SpongeBob being pals with Molly and Gil. Say good night, Bubble Guppies. Good night, Bubble Guppies. Who asked you? You're not funny and you're not Bubble Guppies! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Now hold on there! WALL-E did not take over Nickelodeon! What are you trying to pull? I just wanted to see what would happen if SpongeBob met Ben Burtt. When Microsoft Sam gets back, he's gonna hear about this and he'll give you your just deserts, but good! Judas Priest! Sam was right about you, Mike! You really are a total ***! Don't you start! I am not an ***, you sonofabitch! If Sam were here, Mike, he'd make you a member of the Liars' Club! Up in SpongeBob SquarePants! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny! Change it! Brave. Must be rabbit season. Or maybe duck season. The hunter in the sky. Maybe he's looking for Ursa Major. Perhaps he'll find her near the North Star. Tangled? Tangled? This is a TV series, not a movie! Am-scray! Please, Mike, don't get all worked up over these bloopers like Sam does. That's none of your business, you ***! Microsoft Mike! I won't have you calling me a ***! Simmer down, Mary. At least he knows how I feel about these bloopers sometimes. Microsoft Sam! Back so soon? I never thought I'd say this, Sam, but thank God you've returned! So what brought you back here so soon? I took a detour and found myself in a bad place. I raced back here as fast as I could, but someone from that bad place is chasing me. And who's chasing you? So, Microsoft Sam! I've found you! Eek! It's the Devil! He's brought that Satan's Kingdom sign with him. Somebody do something! Protect me from this evil overseer of that infernal realm! Too late, Sam! You are condemned! Prepare for an eternity of pain! Oh no you don't, Satan! Take that! [BOOM!!] No no no no no no no no! Not that! Anything but that! Let me outta here! Eeee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Look at him run! He took one look at the God's Country sign and fled in terror! Sic semper evillis - thus always to evildoers. Well said, Sam. I must go now. Peace be with you. And also with you. It's great to have you back, Sam. We all missed you. And I missed you too. I have an idea: now that Sam's back, safe and sound, let's all go out for some pizza. Your RoflCopter is all set, Sam. All aboard! We're on our way to Pizza City! soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi All right! What are you, a comedian or something? What do you mean? The only thing that should come in is the SpongeBob SquarePants Season 3 version, not Season 6. So sue me! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Shishkabob! I'm warning you! All right, all right! Judas Priest! You really know how to make a guy feel like an ***! Takes one to know one. Season 8. That's "Present." That's wrong! SPSB Season 11. I love this show so much! That's wrong. Get it right! You ***! I am not an ***! Liar! You are too! The logo "Penguins of Madagascar" does not come in. Only the SpongeBob SquarePants caption does, capeesh? I get it. Madagascar. I hope Conan's doing his Year 3000 routine tonight. Not Madagascar, Nickelodeon! Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. This movie is charged with the bomb. I agree. If you mess with it, it might explode on you. [BOOM!!] I didn't mean it literally! Welcome to the club. This is not DreamWorks Animation! Get that Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted outta here! I kind of watch Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted myself. Anna! What are you doing here? I heard you were having trouble with the SpongeBob SquarePants intro, Sam, so I've come to help you out. Okay, Anna, I'll give you a chance. Anybody can do better than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! You are too! Oh crotch! The captions are there, but not SpongeBob. Don't worry, Anna. You'll get the hang of it sooner or later. I guess you're right, Sam. We'll try again later. I'm all for going out to lunch. Would you like to go Dutch? I think we've been in dutch already. You are so funny, Sam! [Microsoft Anna laughing] All right, you ***! What's the big idea? What do you mean? And why, in heaven's name, do you keep calling me an ***? Because I can and I said so. Get that The Owl House outta here and get me the SpongeBob SquarePants caption! Now!! Okay, you're the boss. And I am not an ***! You are too an *** and you know it! *** *** *** *** ***! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Moulin Rouge? Oh crotch! We're all out of Moulin Rouge. Don't worry, Mike. I'll buy some on the way home today. Where did the Moulin Rouge logo come from? And it's not Moulin Rouge, it's SpongeBob SquarePants! Get it right or I'll spray the Moulin Rouge in your eyes! SpongeBob SquarePants upside down Season 6. SpongeBob art will never die. What are you, a comedian or something? You said it's supposed to be "SpongeBob SquarePants." Yes, but not the Season 6 version. All right then, I'll get a concrete one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Why does he always do this to me? I'm sick and tired of all the *** you give me! You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm sorry, Anna. I just get so sick and tired of all the *** the SpongeBob Guy gives me in these videos. It gets me so worked up and I'm always throwing tantrums. Don't worry, Sam. Just be calm like me. I'm as cool as the other side of the pillow. But not the pillow Sam drooled on last night. Sam drooled on the pillow? Gross! Eeewwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Honda. Don't they distribute cars, Abby? They sure do, Beulah. Next they'll send in the car. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Speaking of cars, if you don't get me the proper logo--- Stop calling me a car! At least I didn't call him an *** that time. Watch your mouth, you sonofabitch! Look, it's Subaru. Ah, he's so cute. I agree, Mary. I used to drive a Subaru car myself. Get that Subaru outta here or I'll sic on you! Take it easy, Sam. I was only joking. I don't even have a car driver. How much does a net globe cost? I don't care. I'll give this dime-a-dozen bum one more chance. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Kia. I used to drive a car when I was a kid. I agree. Now you've done it! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't ever come back! And this time I mean it! Next time I see you I'll jam--- [BLEEP!] Sorry I had to do that, Sam, but I just had to calm you down. That's telling him, Anna. Should we go shopping? Good idea, Mary. I have Sam's credit card with me. Let's go! Hey, SpongeBob Guy! Who, me? Yes, you! You got the Microsoft Operating System! Oh really? I thought this was Windows 10. Not Windows 10, Nickelodeon. Get it right! Windows 95. As in Windows 95 from Microsoft. Those were the days. Breaker 19 for an operating system check. Negatory, good buddy. I say Negatory to this logo. It's SpongeBob SquarePants, not Windows 95. SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! All right! Sheesh, you're such an ***, Microsoft Sam! I'm not an ***, you sonofabitch! And shush the sheesh! Windows 2000. I always wanted an operating system. You're making me thirsty. Oh, wow! I could've had a Windows 2000 computer! Windows 3.1? Windows 3.1? I don't want Windows 3.1. I don't want it either, but if Sam got it on with me, I'd end up with Windows 3.1 anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Microsoft Mary, you've got your nerve saying I give you Windows 3.1! I don't have Windows 3.1 you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm okay, Anna. I just get so pissed off by cheap jokes about my sex life. There, there, Sam. I used to feel that way, but then I got over it. If I can do it, so can you. Thanks. Now, let's see if the SpongeBob guy can get it right. Windows 98. How psychedelic. I love Windows 98. They're so real, I feel like I'm in a computer. Hey, SpongeBob guy! SpongeBob SquarePants! You hear? SpongeBob SquarePants! I wish you would call me by my proper name. I'm tired of being called "SpongeBob guy." If you don't display the proper logo, you'll be called an out-of-work SpongeBob guy. Up yours, ***! I AM NOT AN ***! Calm down, Sam. This too shall pass. Windows XP. Hi, Windows XP. What's new? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, SpongeBob guy! I have a riddle for you. Knock knock. Who's there? Ama Gana. Ama Gana who? Ama Gana fire you if you don't display the proper logo! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Sheesh! SHUSH THE SHEESH! Look, Mary. Someone whitewashed the Windows 7 logo. I love using those Windows 7 computers, but I also love to write dirty ones. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! SPONGEBOB GUY!! Uh-oh! I'd better vamoose! Come back here, SpongeBob guy! I hate you so much I wanna take that *** logo and beat your stupid-*** brains out! It's just human nature for me to hate guys that try to make my life a living hell--- ---especially dime-a-dozen bums like you. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR... Hey you! Who, me? Yes, you! What's the deal with this Mazda logo being here when this is supposed to be a SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon? I thought this was going to be a car. This is not car! This is SpongeBob SquarePants! Get me the SpongeBob SquarePants caption! Now! All right! Judas Priest, you're such an ***! And stop calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! Amazon? Why, they produced the old "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In." That show was comedy incarnate. I wish they'd bring it back. Was "Laugh-In" a funny show? You bet your sweet bippy it was! Sock it to me! If you don't bring up the SpongeBob SquarePants caption I'll really sock it to you, but good! Android, as in long-playing record. At last, a long-playing logo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Not "Android" - "SpongeBob SquarePants." Best Buy. I used to live on Best Buy when I was a kid. So did I. LH Michael and LH Michelle! You two are not allowed in this video! Get out! Out! O-U-T! Out! Hold it right there, SpongeBob Guy! Come back here! You called, Boss? Yes. I told you to bring up the SpongeBob SquarePants caption. That's your job. Who's the jackbutt that let in all these inappropriate logos? I don't have to ask. It's you, SpongeBob Guy. What do you have to say for yourself? It wasn't me that kicked down the door, it was those crazy people, LH Michael and LH Michelle, that did it. They shouldn't have broken in here in the first place and I'm putting you on notice. Get the SpongeBob SquarePants caption in here before closing time, or else! On notice? Me? Screw you, Sam, you ***! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no! *** you, SpongeBob Guy! I'm sick and tired of your *** insubordination! If you keep screwing up the SpongeBob SquarePants intro, you're fired! You hear me? Fired! You sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm all right, Anna. I just get so pissed off at all these inappropriate logos invading the SpongeBob SquarePants turf. Oh well, this too shall pass. BurgerFi. I guess we'll next be visited by Shake Shack. One more commercial plug in a SpongeBob SquarePants intro and I'll slap you. Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Samsung. I guess Samsung will now start showing SpongeBob SquarePants. Samsung presents SpongeBob. Made possible with a grant from ACME Carrots. If I told you once, I've told you a gazillion times, it's "SpongeBob SquarePants!" Gravity Falls. It's official now: Gravity Falls and Nickelodeon have merged. I can see it now: SpongeBob meets the characters of Gravity Falls. No, no, no, no, no! Gravity Falls did not merge with Nickelodeon! You have exactly one more chance to bring the SpongeBob SquarePants caption in here, capeesh? Sam, you're becoming a real control freak! One more insubordinate comment like that and you're a dead man! Science Channel. Time for an episode of How It's Made. You two here again? I'm calling Security! And as for you, SpongeBob Guy, you know what this means? I don't get the company car you promised me? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!! Fired!? Fired!? I've got a wife, ten kids and three credit unions to support! If it takes every cent I have, Microsoft Sam, I'll sue your sorry butt so vengefully that one day you'll be working for me! Sure you will. When Hell freezes over! Don't despair, Sam. You still have the rest of us to back you all the way. I guess you're right, Anna. Let'*** the bar. It's happy hour. All the drinks are on me. Krispy Kreme. Can donuts be far behind? Not really, Anna. I yearn for the days of the Huntley- Brinkley Report. Not a bad suggestion, RoboSoft 3. Little Caesars. Easy as Papa John's. Simple as Dominos. That's nice, but you forgot the pizza to go with the logo. Whoops! Bath and Body Works. It must be time for going shopping. Come and listen to my story about a store named Bath and Body Works. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. No wonder they moved to Simon Malls. That shampoo's got his own cement pond. That shampoo is a conditioner. Any news on Sam yet? Sam won't give in. He still won't re-hire the SpongeBob Guy. He's as stubborn as a Missouri mule. Look, Michelle, it's Jack in the Box. Jack in the Boxes are free. What restaurant is this from? Jack in the Box. It's the restaurant company that came from the musical jack-in-the-box. Now what is this? Panda Express. Restaurants? I love restaurants, especially with some noodles. Take it back. Now. What's the matter, Anna? Don't you like restaurants any more? I love restaurants, especially those fast-food places. They make my face break out. Now I know what Anna had for dinner last night. How's it going, restaurant-face? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! [BOOM!!] Holy Schneikees! You made my face break out! Sorry about that, Mary. I just don't like being called "restaurant-face." Be careful next time. What you just did to me made me sick. Eeeeewwwww! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Game Cube? What's a game cube? Don't you know, Mike? You roll seven-come-eleven with them. Dice. The original game cubes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Denny's. If you can cross over, we can eat some food. SpongeBob Guy! You're back! We missed you. Back already, SpongeBob Guy? Where's Microsoft Sam? I can explain everything. You better explain it fast. I heard that Sam's looking for you. He's got the police looking for you too. Sam and the cops are after the SpongeBob Guy? I thought you were holding him hostage. I was, but Sam grabbed the gun out of my hand and started shooting at me. I hot-footed it out of there, but Sam warned me never to come here or I'd be sorry. [Siren] Uh-oh! The fuzz! If Sam sees us here, we're dead! Hide us! Quick! Aha! I thought I'd find you here! Microsoft Sam! Give me another chance! And please stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle! Hah! That gay boy and his lesbian sister? I'm not a gay boy! And I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even from lesbas. Liars! Arrest them, Officer! On what charges? Criminal trespass, gross insubordination and mutiny. And make it a capital offense. Microsoft Sam! Are you out of your mind? Sorry, Anna, but justice has to be done. Officer, if you'll just hear me out for a second, I can explain everything. Go ahead. On my way in here, I stopped at the courthouse and filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against Sam. I also accused him of gross homophobia and being a control freak. This from you, a mutineer! Be quiet, Sam! Hear him out. Thanks. And not only that, I've secured a court injunction allowing LH Michael and LH Michelle to stay in these videos. Sam is never to hate them any more or call them homophobic names. All right. I won't arrest you, LH Michael or LH Michelle. And if Sam issues an apology, I won't press charges against him. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Foiled by a broken justice system! When will they ever learn who's in charge of things here? This is a travesty, you hear me? Travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty! [BOOM!!] Are you through, Sam? Yes, Officer. I'm sorry for the tantrum and all the trouble I've caused. SpongeBob Guy, you're re-hired. And as for LH Michael and LH Michelle, I promise never to hate you again. Can we continue with the SpongeBob SquarePants intro, please? Go ahead. LG? In a SpongeBob intro? what next, SpongeBob works with laundry? Whirlpool? Which Whirlpool do they hail from? Kentucky? Virginia? Massachusetts? Nerdocrumbesia? Whirlpool in Nerdocrumbesia? Just kidding, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Same old Sam. Always calls me a *** every time I get the best of him. Don't worry, Mary. This too shall pass. And how about getting the logo right for a change? Roger. The name's Microsoft Sam, not Roger. Sorry. Well, it's an improvement. All we need to do is replace the Season 10 with a Season 2 and we'll be on Easy Street. Not to worry, I'll try again. Not just yet. It's been a trying day and I need to get a little rest. Let's take the rest of the week off. Works for me. Me too. It sure feels good to see you back, Sam. I missed you. I missed you too, Anna. I love you. And I love you too, Sam. [Anna] Sam? Where are you? [Mike] He said he'd be a little late coming in. [Mary] He's probably lecturing the Caption Guy. [Anna] Well, we might as well get started. [Anna] Nice to drop in, Sam. What are you doing atop the SpongeBob SquarePants caption? [Mary] Great entrance, Sam. Are you auditioning to be SpongeBob's stuntman? No, I'm not auditioning to be SpongeBob's stuntman. I was telling the Caption Guy to get the proper intro in here and I wound up on top of it. [Anna] Sam, you look good riding the caption. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Caption Guy] I told you not to sit on the caption, Sam. [Sam] Now you tell me. ***! [Mary] Now where'd Mike go? [Sam] Mike, you ***! Get off the caption! You're not SpongeBob. Don't call me an ***, you sonofabitch! This caption is so pointy, it hurts to sit on it. Ouch! [Anna] I think Mike looks good atop the caption, but where's Mary? [Sam] She probably went to get a drink of water. Hey, this is fun! I could feel the breeze in my hair when I came in. [Sam] Caption Guy! [Caption Guy] What's up, Sam? [Sam] Don't "What's up, Sam" me, you ***! Tell Mary to get off the caption... right now! Don't listen to Sam, Caption Guy. I love these caption rides. [Mike] I'm hip to you, Mary. [Sam] Microsoft Mike, stop encouraging people to do these crazy stunts! You are a certified first-class ***! An ***. you hear? AN ***!!! [Mike] Microsoft Sam listen to me good: I AM NOT AN ***! I NEVER WAS AN ***! I'LL NEVER BE AN *** AND I WANT YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AN ***! YOU HEAR ME? STOP CALLING ME AN *** YOU SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH!! [BOOM!!] [Speakonia Male 2] Holy Schneikees! Mike throws a tantrum in a SpongeBob SquarePants Intro Bloopers video? [Speakonia Male 3] Usually Sam throws tantrums in these videos. [Sam] Gad! What a temper! Anna? Where's Anna? Have you seen Anna? Here I am, Sam! Mary's right. This is fun! [Sam] Anna? You're riding the caption? Yeah, but I think Mike's right when he said it needs a little smoothing out. [Sam] I'm hip to that. Hey Caption Guy, have you been charging admission to let people ride the caption? [Caption Guy] Nope. I let them ride for free. After all, you started it, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Sam] Sheesh! [Abby] Hey Beulah, this is fun! I can see clear over to Albuquerque from here. [Beulah] I agree, Abby. We should remember to take that left turn there. [Sam] Two people riding the caption at the same time? [Mike] At least that'll make riding it smoother. Hey Michelle, this has Coney Island beat by a country mile. I agree, Michael. They should name this place the Chuck Jones Memorial Park. [Sam] CAPTION GUY!! [Caption Guy] You bellowed, Sam? [Sam] Yes, I bellowed, Caption Guy. Did you let this gay boy and his lesbian sister in here again? Come on, Sam, give us a break. Stop hating us. We have as much a right to ride the caption as the rest of you. [Sam] I don't care! You're still not allowed in here! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! [Caption Guy] Microsoft Sam! You can't keep chasing LH Michael and LH Michelle as if they were prairie dogs! You'll turn into a hate criminal if you keep this up! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Why do you keep *** up my life, Caption Guy? LH Michael and LH Michelle are unauthorized personnel! I am not a hate criminal! You hear me? I am not a hate criminal you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] [Anna] Sam? Are you all right? [Sam] I'm all right, Anna. I just get so pissed off at the Caption Guy for letting LH Michael and LH Michelle in here. He doesn't realize how much I hate their guts. [Anna] Don't be too rough on them, Sam. Just because they're different doesn't mean they're undesirable. As a personal favor, please give them a chance. Do this for me, okay? [Sam] Okay, Anna. I'll try, but it won't be easy. [Speakonia Male 2] Banana Boat. [Mary] I love the Banana Boat sunscreen. He's so good. [Speakonia Male 3] What's up, sunscreen? [Sam] If they try to sell me insurance again, it's sunscreen soup. Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [LH Michael] Kangaroo Express. [LH Michelle] I love it. No work, all gas station. [Sam] Ix-nay on the ugs-gas station! [Caption Guy] Oy vey. [Caption Guy] Oops! I goofed again! I know I should be punished. Let me take off my trousers. [Speakonia Male 2] Don't bother. I think they've reached the limits on what *** probing can teach them. [Sam] Well, you're in the ballpark. This gives me an idea. Hand me the tools. Oh Sam! You are so gifted with tools. I'm glad you like it, Anna. I call it "The SpongeBob SquarePants Caption Mobile." I especially love these new seats. It's much more comfortable than sitting on the caption itself. It's almost lunch time. Wanna go Dutch? I'm one step ahead of you, Anna. All right. Hang on, here we go! [Beulah] Holy Schneikees! That's a real fast machine Sam's got! I wish I could ride one of those. [Abby] So do I, but Sam's only built one. [Mary] Well, at least we know where they usually have lunch. [Mike] We can join them at the commissary. [Caption Guy] May I tag along? [Mike] Only if you ride your own caption! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Caption Guy] Oh crotch.