Hoodwinked! Two! Hood vs. Evil/Transcript

Nicky Flippers: Once upon a time, there were four unlikely heroes. Red Riding Hood, her granny, the not so Big Bad Wolf and an over-caffeinated squirrel called Twitchy. Together, they defeated the evil plans of a very bad little bunny, and came to work for me. My name is Nicky, and I run the Happily Ever After Agency, an organization dedicated to making happy endings for everyone. As we say in the HEA, "It's not just a fairy tale, it's an adventure Recently, Red took a leave of absence to train at a secret location with the legendary Sisters of the Hood. This left the team in a bit of disarray, just as we were about to meet a terrible threat, not only to the HEA, but to happy endings everywhere. It started one night when we received an anonymous tip that two children were being held in a gingerbread house by a witch with a wicked appetite.
[cackling][female over radio]Alpha Leader, witch sighted in window.[male over radio] Which window?[female] Afirmative.[male] What?Rescue Team Alpha,stand by for go order.[female 1]Agent Fuzzy moving into position.[male] Wick Knack, take point.[female 2] Paddy Whack, cover the rear.[male] Suspect is enchantedand extremely dangerous.[female 1] Roger.[male] Who's Roger?[quietly] Alpha Leader here, confirmedMother Goose. Rescue Team standing by.molqLooks like Red's a no-show. Again.Wolf, we talked about this.Red's on assignment.Who names their kids Hansel and Gretel anyway.Look, dog, l know you miss her.We all do.But those poor kids are going to becomebaked goods any minute now.l need you to concentrateon what's going on here.Yo, Froggy, what's the stoyon Red Riding Rogue?Wolf, she is training secretly.What kind of secret training?Not now.OK, OK. You wanna reassign Red,it's your agency.Thank you.Heydoes anyone want to order a pizza?Wolf!My talent comes naturally.[groans][Wicky] Wolf! Get off the channel![witch cackling][shaker rattling][yelling]Those kids don't have much time.Don't sweat it, Granny Dynamite.With Red gone, l need to step up.So l called out the big guns.What?This is not good!We might have a problem here, sir!Put it on the screen.[rapid beeping]No! They wouldn't! Alpha Team,we've got something small and fast,scurying up the side of the house.Roger, Goose, l'll get a gander.[speaking rapidly] On the iob.Love my job. Good job.lt's not iust a iob, it's an adventure.Hey, Granny, how you doing? Bye-bye!What are you mo up to?You like recipes, don't you?Ty this. A cup of hot wolf,a pinch of screvy squirreland a dash of disguise.Rescue pie. My own recipe.Wolf, no!Thank me later!That's not a rope. Not rope, not rope.Not rope, not rope. Not rope![laughs] Rope!Twitchy, what do you thinkyou're doing up there?The woIFs plan. l'll slip throughthe chimney. She'll never see me coming.[speaking rapidly] It's a greatjob...What is he saying?Translate that.[computerized male voice]l have an advantageous positionfrom which to breachour suspect's gingerbread home.Uh-oh. l think the fan isabout to be hit with the doody.l'm going in! Right now![computerized voice] l am going in.Negative. Do not proceed.Do not proceed.Now, listen to me, Twitchy...[radio static hisses]Muffins![rope zipping][evil laughter][male, German accent] Oh, please!We did not mean to trespassinto your delicious cookie house![female, German accent] Ja, we wereonly searching for goodies for this...[witch] Silence![hisses][grunts][witch breathing heavily][whimpering][doorbell rings][witch growls][coughs]Building inspector.You know, it's against housing codesto live in any dessert biggerthan a cupcake.[coughing]l need to see your permitsand a list of ingredients.That better not be custard.Don't wory, kids! l'm here to rescueyou! Yeah, me, l got the good guys!They're all hiding outside.Little squirrel, l am Hansel.Ja, and l am Gretel. You must hury.The witch will soon return.[Hansel] She'll eat us all for supper!She says chicken tastes like children![both] Ja!OK, OK, l'm on the case.[growling][Twitchy squealing]He's in trouble! Move in! Move in!Come on, you goldbricks!You wanna live forever?[puffing][sirens wailing]Get the door!Just get more puffs!l think it's weakening.[yelling]Agents, take a bite out of crime.Wolf, this entire operation isa shambles.l know, but l can fix it.[witch cackling]She got the kids!You're alive!Now, we'll never catch up with her.[engine rewing]Sweet ride!Boys?[witch] Sory, goodies,but this is a dinner flight.Help us! She has flavorFul marinades!Oh, no, you didn't![rewing]Come on, Twitch.[squealing][Granny] Buckle up, homies. It's on!No, wait! Don't just...Get some backup in the air, now![witch cackling]Whoa! Ten and mo, Granny!l'm regretting that burrito.[Gretel] Help us! She has put usin little cages! It is dehumanizing![Hansel] We are like delicious veal!You'll never save them!Tree in the way!Oh, put on your man pants, Wolfie.Now l lay me down to sleep, l pray...Whoo-hoo![engine rewing]Can we go back for my stomach?It's pink, shaped like a football.Has my lunch in it.Oh, knuckle up, dog.Mother Goose to base.Mother Goose to base.We are in pursuit of witch. Stand by.Better catch me, l'm getting peckish.That witch is whack.
Granny: Wolf, think you can handle a bike like this?
Wolf: Sure, I think I could if I had to, I went through my bad boy phase. Road a bike, greased my hair back, lived over Richie Cunningham's garage, water skied over a shark tank. Those were some Happy Days.
Great, 'cause she's all yours, dog.[yells]Yippie-yi-ki-yay!Hi, Granny.Hey, young kids. l've gotcha.No! l've got you![gasps][witch cackling][grunting]No worries, Twitch.Dog is your co-pilot.[banjo playing]Well, l'm a singing goatby the name of Japethl've got singin' talentl've yet to tapethTill one day l walkedin the path of a motorcycleGot knocked off a cliffinto quite a picklemolq l'm uninsured!And onto a branchAnd a pointy rockAnd an angy rock climber[man] Aah! Why?!And a beaver[cat shrieks]And another beaver #[pig squeals]You have the right to a faiy godmother.If you do not have a faiy godmother,one will be provided for you. Whoa!You have the rightto get some flying lessons.[screeching cackle]Don't lose them. Now turn right.Your other right!Your other other right![alarm sounding]Stay low, stay low!Mammals.[engine rewing][witch cackling]There they are, there they are!There they go, you passed them.You passed them!Why did you pass them?Calm down. You got the metabolic rateof a hummingbird.l've got me a foolproofGranny rescue plan.Twitchy, do you think you could handlea bike like this?No, no, bad idea!l can't reach the pedals!Be seeing you, little buddy.Yippie-yi-ki-yay! [grunts][yelps]OK, l can taste my own butt.Saw that coming. [screeching]
Verushka: Oh, look! Your doggie's trying to save you!
Don't wory, Granny, l got ya!No, Wolf, don't! It's a trap!l got ya, l got ya.Oh! OK, l don't got ya.We need help. Get Red!She'll know what to do!Hey, l'm handling this rescue!Evemhing's under control!You can't do it alone!Hey! l'm alive!molf grunts][witch cackling]You almost saved her.l got served.This whole thing is my fault.None of this would have happened if...If Red were here?Well, she's not here, is she?Nicky Flippers' little superstar isfar, far... far away.Far, far, far... far away.Far... far away.[Twitchy] Yeah, yeah, l get it!molq Just saying it's quite a ways.[rumbling][gasps][growling][growling]Uh... Hi.[lisping]
Moss: So you think you can deliver that basket of goodies across my bridge, do you?
Red: Uh-huh.
Moss: Oh, no, no, no, you did not just say that. I did not hear that. There ain't no way my bridge is being crossed by some muffin-delivering red hood-wearing fairy tale cliché little girl. Get up out of here.
Red: [backflips] Bring it.
[laughing][grunts, yelling]l'm about to get you!Oh![growls]Hey!Oh!No, no, no![troll] See? l told you!l win again. It's 'cause l'm so evil.Mm! l even taste evil. Ooh!l taste just like chicken.Chicken and evil! l'm gonna domy little evil chicken dance.[Red grunts]Huh?Hello! Is the fight over?Did you mean to jump off the bridge?Huh?Bye-bye.Ooh! That's cheating!That is so cheating!You running 'cause you knowyou can't beat me!Your granny never would've run awaylike a scared little chicken girl!What did you iust say?You heard me.l said your grannywould be ashamed of you,'cause you running like a teeny, tiny,helpless, little girl![yelling]Oh, muffins.[grunting]Oh! Ow!Take that! And that!Was it something l said?Ooh! That's my corn! Aah![troll] l kinda like that.[woman] Enough![troll] Check, please.The test is over.The delivey is incomplete.l win again! l am the greatest!l'm the prettiest ballerinain the whole fruit cup!Yes, Senator, that is my monkey.His name is Rumpelstiltskin, but it'sa secret. Don't tell him l told you.l'm coming to the light, Mama.[voices chanting indistinctly, echoing]Show me the Seven-Layer Kick.[grunting]Show me the Spatula![yelps]Show me the Flying Rolling Pin![shrieks]Red, l know you came with much to prove,but your task was to deliver the basket.You heard what he said about my granny!Moss used your desire to please Abigailas just a test.A Sister finds her own path,her true inner power.Besides, honey, we're startingto run low on combat instructors.Oh, come on. Really!l barely touched him.Why, fidlee dee, Mr. Butler.What brings you to Tara?l like Tootsie Rolls.[chuckles nervously] He'll be fine.[Kung Fu Fighting ringtone plays]Hm...Sory, l should take this.Hello?Red? It's Nicky.Nicky? What is it?l'm afraid l have some vey bad news.It's about your grandmother.[Red] Why would anyonewant to kidnap my granny?Red, at the endof evey Sister's training,she faces the ancient trial by truffle,in which the student attemptsto recreate the Sisterhood'smost powerFul culinay confection.For over a thousand yearsthat recipe has been our secret,its making understoodonly by the best of us.What has that got to do with Granny?Vey few Sisters complete the truffle,one of them was your grandmother,Abigail Puckett.[clanking]The power of this goodie is so great,it must be ever kept from thosewho would misuse it.Like those wannabes at the Food Nemork.[Sister]Holla! Rachael Ray's the devil.This is where you keep all the recipes?No, just the one.The Norwegian Black ForestFeather Cake Truffle Divine!But around the kitchen, honey,we just call it the Super Truffle!Cool! What makes it so super?Anyone who eats it becomes unstoppable,in strength and thought and speed.Sounds good.Too good!So... how did you makethe recipe invisible?Oh, muffins.[Sisters shrieking][Sister]Battle stations! Man your posts!Sound the alarm! Secure the gates!Somebody get me my rolling pin![shrieks]We must hury. Whoever stole the recipewill be tying to complete the truffle.We must find and stop thembefore they do.Before they find the secret ingredient.Secret ingredient? What is it?Well, it's... Oh, no, you don't.The final ingredientis never written down.Or even spoken.Then how does anyone know it?When you're a true Sister of the Hood,you just know.That must be why they kidnapped Abigail.l've gotta find her.Red, the task of saving your grannyis yours alone.But, child, l fear it may be more dangerthan you are ready for.lt doesn't matter. She's my granny,l've gotta save her.You have learned much.The Sisterhood is in your blood.Once a Sister, always a Sister. Right?Red is still finding her true path.She is not ready.Yeah, l know.[witch cackling][thunder rumbling]For a complete nut muffin,that witch sure ties a good knot.[door creaking]Did somebody say nut muffin?Sounds delicious.My dinner was interrupted,and l could use a little snack.Compipoo, Abigail?Have we met before?Was it the '60s?The '60s are kind of a blur.What?! Why, no!You'd remember meeting someoneas evil as me!Why, look at these glowing red eyesand big scay mask!Your goodie friendswon't find you here, Abigail.So you might as well relaxand stay for dinner.You want me to make you dinner?Oh, how nice of you to offer.Let me see. What am l in the mood for?Day-old sushi? Dutch balls? Turducken?l'm more in the moodfor a chocolate truffle!A truffle? Sory,never learned to make that.Never? Never studiedwith the Sisterhood of Kung Fu Bakers?Never learned the secret ingredientto an ancient recipe so powerFulit makes one invincible?Darn! l really had a taste for that.How do you know about that?That recipe is forbidden.[scoffs] Forbidden, is it?Oh. Well, that's too bad.Well, then it's a good thingl have it written down. See?[gasps]Do you want it? Do you? Take it.Oh. Oh, you can't.You're tied to a chair.Oh, too bad!Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!That's right, Abigail.l have evemhingbut the secret ingredient,and you're going to give it to me.What?You think l'm iust gonna bake one upfor you? Not gonna happen.You won't? All right.l guess l'll iust haveto cook up something else.[H.R. Pufnstu plays]Ooh. Sory. l love that show.She's getting us ready for the baking!l'm too young to be a strudel!So, Abigail, what's for dinner?l'll need a titanium mixing bowl.[thunder crashes][witch cackling][male over radio] ...searchfor Granny Puckett, highest priority.[female] What is the statusof Mother Hubbard's cupboard?[male] Someone update Granny'sFacebook profile to witchnap.[male 2] Butcher and baker cleared.We're questioning the candlestick maker.l'm not saying they shouldn't work here,l'm just saying they're delicious.Ooh!Wolf, thanks for taking such good careof my granny.Yeah, my finest hour.l'm shopping the movie rights.But maybe if you'd been aroundto look after the old girl yourself,l wouldn't have had to.If l... l was training.While you've been playing kung fu...You know that thing you do...[argument continues]Akward.Red, it's good to see you.There's been a rash of robberies.The stolen items are from that list ofSuper Truffle ingredients you sent us.So the witch has been shopping?We think so.A surveillance cameracaught the latest incident.Blue, pull up the Muffet footage.[spider growls]molq Whoa!Did you see the size of that mushroom?We're gonna need to hit the streets,find out who's hiring the muscle.lndeed. We think many of the suspectsare associates of a shady operatorknown as The Giant.
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