Misscliks: Pirate Edition: Chapter 1 Episode 8

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==Recap==
===Day 37, Part 2: A Yarn And The Cat To Go With It.===
Lily does some interrogating of the captured SM crew, and then makes the mistake of trying to order Kaster around. He gets very angry about insubordination.
Back in the rowboat, December has a complete emotional breakdown. Elianna snaps her back to reality by slapping her. In a moment of conscience, December rescues Rezo from the water.
Elianna, December, and Rezo abort the Stormtrooper Wookiee Plan, and return to the deck of the Swift Swallow.
Lily and Fe are ordered to stay with the rowboat. Kaster loots the Stony Mussel instead of Lily. They all return to the Swift Swallow.
Bertram didn't survive his injuries; Rezo is pressed into service in his place.
The group, rather frustrated about the day's events, separate out to rest.
The ship sails back to Silcove. The Stony Mussel is left floating, with at least 6 people on board.
One-eyed Captain Stormy Silverblade is sitting in the tavern, with his first mate, Saffron the Great (AKA "Three"), the three-legged cat.
Corlath gets to chatting with the Captain; he's looking for an item. In exchange for the trust (and beer), Corlath discovers that Stormy is a pirate, and lost his eye (and the cat's leg) fighting a Kraken in the Perfect Storm.
Stormy cut out the eye of the Kraken, and kept it in a rum jug. Unfortunately it was stolen from him during a night of grog and questionable company after winning a big poker game. He's here in Silcove because he's heard a local, Badwick the Butcher, has the Eye.
Corlath relates the information to the girls; Elianna snaps to attention with the three legged cat mention. Future Crazy Cat Lady?
Corlath definitely sleeping on the preverbial couch tonight, Vishna's none too happy about her husband's loose lips.
Kaster is talking with a woman of... doubious repute, Corlath is out to take a piss.
December wants to be friends with anyone who's fought sealife. So she's interested.
Lily leads off the conversation with Stormy.
"Who reads beer? Really!": Lily, about her tea-leaves ability.
Stormy's fight with the Kraken lost 200 souls to the beast; losing an eye scared it off though.
The Kraken's eye was the size of a medium coconut.
Saffron deflects December's attempt at petting; Stormy claims that she used to be solid yellow, and that staring into the Kraken's eye turned her white.
Corlath returns, complete with bright red mark, and continues running his mouth... he's booking for a matching one on the other cheek, but the girls distract themselves by talking with Stormy about future possibilities.
Lily is 3'6, but has puffy red hair and a huge ass....pirate hat on her head.
Elianna introduces herself in typical fashion. Lily and December retire for the night; Elianna remains at the bar, being plied with drinks from Stormy. Fe keeps an eye on Stormy. Stormy keeps an eye on Elianna. Elianna keeps an eye on Saffy. Saffy keeps an eye on Fe. And thus the circle is complete.
Elianna and Stormy bond a bit; she's clearly the most piraty of the group. Killing people, stealing things.
December and Lily decide they should talk to Kaster about bringing Stormy on; however halfway back to see him, they find him walking towards the ship with a... less than dressed woman, and decide to let him have his fun.
"I want your cat, but thats another story, for when you die" "There's so many things I want to say back to you, but I dont know if i should." -A very drunk Elianna, and Stormy.
Elianna stumbles home drunk with Fe, throwing up in the process.
===Day 38: Out With The Old, In With The Silvery.===
December is in the rigging, staring into the distance. Lily tries to go visit Kaster, but is told to go away. They decide to camp outside his room to wait for him.
Elianna is still drunk this morning. Fe seems to actually be compassionate towards her for a minute. Elianna crashes back into bed to sleep it off some more.
Stormy, having slept on his own boat, travels to the end of the Swallow's dock, to wait and watch.
Kaster's company departs the boat; the captain himself is still in bed, naked, and uncaring about the ladies' presence as he gets up and sits at his desk. Lily gets a good eyeful. December is unphased.
Lily is bidden to cast her spell on the Dead Pirate Robert's chest. She sees magic on the chest, and more magic on the lock. She's no wizardylocksmith though. While she's at it, she detects the crystal balls she's been carrying for months.... they're mundane.
"So i've got useless balls. Great." -Lily
December, ever the resourceful assassin, still has no lockpicking ability.
Unable to access the big chest, they pop the SM Captain's locker, but only find copper and a few silver.
Kaster's plan for the big chest is to go buy some sledgehammers and whack the chest to try and open it.
Kaster's division system: I take 30%, and you all split the rest.
Rath apparently died; dehydration. The new captive the ladies will have to feed and water if they want to keep him.
The idea settled, the ladies disembark, and run into Stormy. They get to talking... a lot of hypotheticals.
December and Lily find out that Stormy is calling Elianna "El", much to their surprise.
December and Lily go to get Kaster to meet Stormy; Elianna high fives Stormy, much to Fe's surprise. Elianna reveals she's just interested in his cat.
Pervy little hobbit Lily still trying to get an eyeful of Kaster. December will kill her if she tries anything. (Shoutout to the VSD's)
Kaster, after getting dressed, heads back outside to have a conversation with Stormy.
Stormy's evaluation of the crew, shared with Kaster only: Loose lips, and they act more stronger than they are, which may get Kaster in trouble, except for Elianna, who may just outright kill the captain. Or have mad passionate sex with him. (EtoileLion's Note (EL:) I would have added "...and THEN killed him" on the end of that.)
Stormy wants a cut of Dead Pirate Robert's treasure; Kaster is agreeable to that, but the crew gets a say. (Stormy would, by Kaster's reckoning, be getting Bertram's cut.)
After some debate, the crew agrees to the split. Corlath smarts off about being right about trusting Stormy, which gets him another slap from Vishna.
Kaster brings Stormy into his cabin to unlock the chest; Stormy balks a bit at hearing it's magically locked, and tries to negotiate hazard pay out of Kaster's 30%. He fails to do so.
"You can suck it up and take on some of the danger after we risked our lives many times to get this far" -Kaster, who has never actually put his life on any line at any point.
Stormy says Elianna will make it up to him (EL: ... leaving that one alone and to your imaginations, kids.), and produces a key from around his neck. He pops it into the lock, turns it.. and it unlocks. The chest is opened to a golden glow within.
The treasure is most definitely treasure. Gold, jewels, the whole nine yards.
Kaster starts to count it out; the girls, remaining in the cabin, discuss where Stormy got the key from. He won it at poker about 2 years ago. How fortuitous.
A few hours later, the group receives their loot 4000 GP 566 SP 700 CP each. Stormy gets 3600 GP 800 SP. (Math: The main chest contained value equivalent to 36,800 GP. The remainder contained 3288 GP in value.)
Stormy brings the girls into a pow-wow to real-talk. Kaster may be ripping them off, Stormy believes. Elianna's all about killing Kaster; probably Corlath as well.
December's not sure about the whole killing-everyone plan. She doesn't understand the reasoning, and this confuses her to the point of insecurity.
Stormy is open to discussion about doing more jobs with the ladies after the Eye mission. December points out that they don't know how to sail (EL: or swim, or read for half of them...).
Fe seems reluctant, but she goes along with the plan to kill Kaster and sink the Swallow.
Kaster has poor taste in jewelry. Elianna leads off the combat by tapping into her dark energies to empower her revealed spell, Light, cast directly into Kaster's eyes. She cuts her hand to do so (7/9)
Combat - Kaster's Final Gasp. Fe tries to snap Kaster's neck, and for once actually fails to do so. The rest of the group advance on Kaster, but Lily puts Kaster, December, Fe, and Saffron to sleep. (EL: IMO, it should have put her to sleep as well.)
Lily slits Kaster's throat, and then sits on his face. (EL: Her words, not mine.)
Elianna, none too happy about Lily's choice of combat action, attempts to swing at Lily; they exchange as many words as blows, though none of the fisticuffs connect (and make for a humorous display), the words landing closer to home.
Lily wakes December and Fe, loots Kaster's body, retrieving a pouch of money, in addition to the jewelry from the chest. Fe and Elianna both storm off, angry at Lily.
Lily gives 'as close as matching as possible' necklaces from the chest to December (who lets Lily put it on her), Fe (who lets Lily put it on her wrist), and Elianna (who snatches hers) as apologies.
The crew then turns to the problem of Corlath and Vishna. Who... apparently arn't on the ship. They do run into Rezo though, who tries to negotiate freedom. He fails flat out, the girls giving him no choice in the matter, as they abandon ship, complete with the chest and all loot.
The girls get to the Nostromo, confronted by Stormy, who is a bit upset at the absence of Saffron, who was left sleeping on the Swallow. Elianna and Fe are dispatched to retrieve her. December, Lily, Rezo, and Stormy all have a conversation about Corlath and Vishna.
Lily rather likes the idea of killing.... perhaps Elianna's getting to her.
Meanwhile, Elianna and Fe have returned to the Swallow. Saffron is awake, cleaning blood off of herself. Elianna goes to high-five the cat, but doesn't get the expected response, so turns it smoothly into a petting motion instead. They head back to the Nostromo, no sign of the rest of the crew yet.
Now Fe's on the kill them all bandwagon. Frustration does a lot, I suppose. The plan is to get the ship out to sea, sink it, and sail off on the Nostromo. They return to the Swallow to await the remaining crew.
Corlath and Vishna return to the Swallow, drunk as skunks. When informed of the captain's death, Corlath grabs for nonexistent weaponry; Vishna vomits. Fe grabs her and drags her towards the cabin.
Corlath socks Elianna upside the head. December and Lily both go to stab him, and Fe goes into her neck snapping pose with Vishna, ordering him to stop.
Combat: Till Death Do Us Part. December's blow strikes home viciously from behind, killing Corlath instantly. Fe, rather detachedly, snaps Vishna's head 270 degrees around, ending her life. Elianna slices Corthal's neck to ensure the job's done.
===Day 39: The Swift Swallow Swiftly Swallows===
Now that the crew's dead, the ladies decide to set sail into the night. Rezo somehow miraculously manages to sail the ship out to sea with 4 completely untrained sailors on board.
Stormy retrieves Pacco and Steve from the bottom of their rum bottles, and presses them back into sailing the Nostromo out to sea. They meet up, and instead of the fire attack, they go for scuttling the ship, using Pacco and Steve to cut the holes.
Stormy's new plan is enacted; with the ladies and Stormy on the Nostromo, Stormy attempts to stab Pacco with his swordcane, failing miserably.
Minor Combat: Pacco gets **** on. Elianna buffs Fe's already considerable strength, and she manages to deal the most damage in a single attack of the campaign (19), punching him so hard in the face that it snaps Pacco's neck
Steve bails, running inside the Swallow's cabin. Stormy drops the gangplank into the water. The Swift Swallow swiftly swallows water. With Steve on board.
The group has a party, pick out cabins on the Nostromo (light teak wood stain, clean, nice fabrics)...Stormy goes and has a private conversation with Rezo.
He strikes a deal with Rezo - no more Hot Guy names (He will be called "Rez" from now on). Stormy offers him a cut of his cut. Rezo just wants to be an equal.
"The objectification of Men is disgusting in our culture." -Anna
Rezo seems to have a habit of getting captured. Slightly troubling.
"I like the boobies" -Rezo. (EL: Nope, Neal, you're not getting away from it!)
Rez is given 10 GP by Elianna as makeup for lying about what December and Elianna might do.
The Nostromo's crew parties on into the night, and that's where we close it for the week.
* Recap from EtoileLion on reddit. Editoral notes are theirs.
Category:Misscliks Pirate Edition Episodes