Flatulence

Properly treating flatulence, whether in man or beast, requires diagnosing the source of the offensive odor. Obtain a sample of the gaseous matter (any simple container, such as a paper bag, will suffice). Place your gas spectroscope (you do still have that old gas spectroscope out in the barn, don't you?) in front of a lit alcohol lamp or Bunsen burner. Burn the gas on the flame and observe the spectra readout and treat with the appropriate solution:
*Apples 'n Brown Sugar-Cinnamon (treatment: Sodium Bicarbonate)
*Excess Acid or Excess Carbon Dioxide (treatment: Nitrabylocynine)
*Caramel (treatment: Quinine)
*Meaty Byproducts (treatment: Bisalicylate Antitoxidene)
*Lentils (treatment: Aminophyllic Citrate)