Riddle Accused of Being Threat to Public

Mark Wente, Mope and Wail
January 25, 2014
Hadyn Place, the outspoken CATS MP for Calgary West, rose in the House this morning to accuse the leader of the Official Opposition of being a threat to the public. Place noted that STYLE leader shares a last name with infamous wizard Tom Riddle, who has been accused of numerous crimes against humanity. Place asked the Michael Connolly, Minister of Magic – a new position created by this government – to explain how the SWAG government would address the threat. The Minister, whose response was largely empty rhetoric, did however affirm Place’s accusation that Riddle is a public threat, and that his government was committed to putting its full resources towards neutralising the threat.
When asked about the allegations, Riddle denied them, calling the whole thing “preposterous”. He did not explicitly deny any biological ties with Tom Riddle, but said that she could “not see how it is relevant.” She called the government’s plans to commit funds to this project absurd and appalling, and declared the entire Ministry wasteful and silly, insisting that “magic ISN’T REAL.” She continued, “Can I stress that again? Magic. Is. Not. Real”.
The situation changed rapidly within hours, as it was the Minister of Magic himself who brought about the demise of his own majority government, and Ms. Riddle was named by the Governor General as the new Prime Minister of Canada. Whether this story will quickly be swept under the rug, or whether the opposition will continue to interrogate the new PM over it in Question Period remains to be seen.
It is not yet clear whether Ms. Riddle will name a new Minister of Magic in her cabinet.