The Joe Foundation

"The Joe Foundation" is the fourth episode of SBFW: Finding Bigfoot. Written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway and guest starring , the episode was first aired on 11th February 2022, on Current.
===Synopsis===
Ray William Johnson starts a charity fundraiser to fund Joe's Bigfoot fight, releasing a charity single with Alan that tops the charts.
===Transcript===
[Episode starts with Ray William Johnson and Alan in a recording studio. Alan is strumming on a ukulele and Ray is beatboxing, before he starts rapping.]
Ray William Johnson: Yo, check it, this is Ray William Johnson! I got so much money, I could set up banks and rob some!
[Alan stops playing the ukulele and interrupts Ray.]
Alan: Ray, isn’t this song supposed to be in support of Joe and his fight with Bigfoot?
Ray: I don’t know how to rap about Bigfoot, unless he by any chance is having sex with someone else’s mother.
Alan: [pause] Ray, I’m afraid to tell you this but I am in fact Shaggin’ Your Mum.
[Ray, enraged, takes a deep breath and stares at Alan, before it cuts to Alan being punted out of the studio and into the window of a nearby warehouse.]
Warehouse Boss: Ay-up, young lad. You up for packing boxes?
Alan: For what company?
Warehouse Boss: Box Productions.
[We hear a shriek offscreen as we cut back to Ray in his Equals Three room, lip-syncing to a backing track.]
Ray: (singing) We’re here for you, Joe, you’re forever in our hearts
Bigfoot’s been hit with Cupid’s bow, struck by his… love darts!
[The music cuts with a record scratch sound effect.]
Cameraman: (offscreen) Wait a second, Joe and Bigfoot aren’t in love.
Ray: Then what are they? Friends with benefits?
Cameraman: I mean, we could try that angle–
Ray: Damn it, man, why can’t I just write a good charity single that’ll make all the people of the United Kingdom of Great American and Northern Canada fund young Joseph’s honest venture into the world of…
Cameraman: Boxing matches with mythical creatures?
Ray: Well, now that you phrase it in that way…
[Cut to Alan in his car, stuck in heavy traffic, listening to the radio.]
Radio Announcer: It’s a tough call for the top spot on this week’s chart, but we can confirm that by 2,000 sales, Adele’s newest track “My Dog Died (Whoops!)” has been edged out by the biggest charity single of 2022, in support of the Joe Foundation, to help fund his fight against Bigfoot.
Alan: For fuck’s sake, he really went through with this, huh? Well, let’s see what it sounds like.
Radio Announcer: Now, for the first time ever on national radio, “Boxin’ Your Mom”!
Alan: What?
[The radio starts playing the single.]
Ray: (singing) Boxin’ your mom, box-boxin’ your mom
Boxin’ your mom, box-boxin’ your mom
Boxin’ your mom, box-boxin’ your mom
You know, me and Joe be boxin’ your mom
[Alan, leaving the radio playing - with the chorus constantly on loop - takes his seatbelt off, grabs a gun from the glove compartment, opens the door and steps out of the car. Oblivious to the cacophony of beeping car alarms, angry passengers cursing at the car in front of them, and the intense rain’s eternal downpour, he puts the gun to his head, pulls the trigger with alarming ease, and the screen cuts to black with a gunshot. One final line from Ray plays as the episode ends.]
Ray: You know, me and Joe be boxin’ your mom!
Category:0fflinejoe
Category:SBFW: Finding Bigfoot
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:Joke Pages
Category:JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:Episodes written by Ray William Johnson
Category:2020s
Category:Songs