Crocodiles

TRANSCRIPT
Landline telephone call
From Sydney Shatterdome to Hong Kong Shatterdome
28 September 2018, 13:23 AEST
XIONG LI-HUA, MARSHAL: Good afternoon, Thomas.
THOMAS NGUYEN, MARSHAL: Good afternoon. I have a pair of consultants and a Ranger team clobbering each other in a swamp. The consultants are winning. What would you do if you were me?
XIONG: I would let the alligators deal with them.
NGUYEN: Crocodiles, actually. The ones that keep growing given an unlimited food supply. Alas, they don't live in temporary swamps. The consultants planned their attack well.
XIONG: The crocodiles aren't an option, then?
NGUYEN: No, and as much as Ranger Jones the Younger is a pill, I would prefer not to lose him.
XIONG: On what are the consultants consulting?
NGUYEN: New Zealand Evacuation.
XIONG: If the Rangers are losing, I think you've already lost them.
NGUYEN: Do you have any advice or will you continue to mock me?
XIONG: I can do both, can't I? Drag them from the mud by their ears—you or someone else, doesn't matter so long as you're there to look disapproving—make them wait outside until they're dry, and then turn on a pressure washer in their general direction. And make them clean up whatever they track in after.
NGUYEN: Cruel, unusual, and yet theoretically effective. I like it!
XIONG: Let me know if it works on them.
NGUYEN: It hasn't for you?
XIONG: Typhoon's been in action for three months and there've been independent sightings of sea monsters on four separate occasions. Do you know how much milfoil it takes to cover a Jaeger?
NGUYEN: Are the Japanese happy?
XIONG: Not that kind of seaweed.
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