Earthworm Jim: A Familiar Space Face/Transcript

This is a Transcript for the Game, Earthworm Jim: A Familiar Space Face
== Opening Cutscene ==
The Camera pans past a peaceful valley, then into a town covered in rubble and debris.
Peter Puppy: "Oh wow, Which one of Jim's space crook adversaries could have caused this? Jim! come check this out!"
Jim: "What Is it my faithful sidekick Peter.... OH MY SOD WHAT A MESS! who could have done this?"
Peter Puppy: "That's what i said jim."
Jim "Hops out of his suit and slithers around the Wreckcage"
Jim: "A Ha! Only one space crook could cause such devistation, My Nefarious duplicate, Doppel-Jim! Strange, i thought i banished him to death row-but-they-don't-go-through-with-the-death space jail years ago."
Suddenly, Doppel-Jim, Riding his Doppel Pocket Rocket, Appears on the scene and blasts away at the town, making more mess, Earthworm Jim and Peter duck for cover
Doppel-Jim: Attention All ******* of this ************* town, There's absolutely no ******* point in trying to stop me, you'll only **** yourself, i, Doppel Jim, am going to make the biggest ******* mess in the whole ******* universe! Later!
Doppel jim leaves the scene, The Real Earthworm Jim pops his head out the wreckage.
Jim: It Is My Doppelganger, and now he's cursing?! that's the most vile thing you can do! right, time to stop a space crook.
Earthworm Jim hops on board his Pocket rocket and blasts off after Doppel-Jim. Peter Puppy waves him off.
== Before Boss 1 ==
Earthworm Jim arrives in the Boss battle arena
Jim: it's quiet.... too quiett....
Suddenly, Jim's Suit's wristwatch phone rings, he answers it, Doppel-Jim Appears
Doppel Jim: Hello, Goody big ****
Jim: Wha?! By the Great Worm Spirit, How did you get my number?
Doppel-Jim: **** Numbers, i jammed the ******* Signal dork.
Jim: First Off, i'm no dork, secondly, i will undo any mess you make! for i am a superhero with.....
Doppel Jim Interrupts Eartworm Jim's heroic speech
Doppel-Jim. We shall **** see about that.
Transition to Earthworm Jim's Shocked face as Doppel-Jim Hangs up.
Jim: The Finger? Only a true fiend resorts to the Finger! I've had my suit's middles amputated for the sake of manners!
Jim sees the boss enter the stage
Jim: oh golly.....
== After Boss 1 ==
Jim, Having Defeated the boss stands Triumphantly
Jim: Groovy!
Jim's Suit's Wristwatch Phone rings, Jim Answers it.
Peter Puppy: Hey Jim! i see you've already beaten on of Doppel-Jim's Flunkeys
Jim: Indeed i have fuzz-buddy, he was no match for the good worm.
Suddenly, Static appears on Jim's wristwatch screen, Jim gets concerned
Jim: Peter? PETER?
The Static Dissapears and Peter Puppy reappears
Peter Puppy: Sorry Jim, Doppel Jim jammed my signal and called me a.....
Jim: A What?
Peter Puppy: I don't have the heart to sat that, but it starts with C.
Jim: i Get it.... See ya!
Earthworm Jim hops on his pocket rocket and zooms off into space
== Before Boss 2 ==
Jim wanders into a pitch black boss battle arena in the middle of the giant asteroid.
Jim: hello? y'know this is an Asteroid not an anechoic chamber
Earthworm Jim's eyes dart around as he suddenly hears Doppel-Jim's Voice
Doppel-Jim's Shadow: Heheheheheh...... You think you can ******* Escape Me? get the **** out, no ******* way.
Jim: Hello? Wicked Doppelganger? are you really in here? and if so, can you stop cursing before we face off in a senseless ray gun duel?
Doppel-Jim's Shadow: No ******* way, i'lll ******* say what i ******* want, even if it means ******* offending little *******
Earthworm Jim starts to get mad!
Jim: Where did you learn such language anyway?
What appears to be Doppel-Jim Continues to chew out the real Jim
Doppel-Jim's Shadow: just thought it ******* made me sound even more ******* menacing and ******* crooked, Plus, I'm not actually, Doppel Jim.
The Light inside the arena turns on, revealling the voice to be a shadowy black sihlouette of Doppel-Jim
Jim: A Shadow, how could a shadow come to life? i mean, i've read my share of J Ann Berry before but....
Earthworm Jim poses bravely, ready to face the shadow
Jim: Ok, enough pondering, EAT DIRT WICKED DOPPELGANER'S SENTIANT SHADOW!!!!
== After Boss 2 ==
Jim Defeats Doppel-Jim's Shadow, which explodes in a cloud of dark smoke.
Jim: *Coughs* Groovy!
Earthworm Jim Realizes something that Doppel-Jim's shadow has dropped. he goes over to it and picks it up, It's a note. Jim reads the note
Jim: Awww, he even writes with his dirty mouth. hey, but at least he knows how where his next minion is.
The Front of the note says **** you. and the back of the note shows the coordiates of Planet Mist.
Jim: My foe has made an error in my Favour, i shall follow the advice!
Jim Hops on his Pocket Rocket and zooms out of the asteroid.
== Before Boss 3 ==
On the Moon of even more fog, Jim arrives in a swamp, the murk goes up to his suit's knees.
Jim: Yikes! is this suit mudproof? by the great worm spirit, no lilypads!
Earthworm Jim's Suit's Wristwatch rings. he answers, Doppel-Jim appears.
Jim: You Again?! i thought you were going to train up your other two flunkies
Doppel-Jim: **** them, i only ******* value mions with big ****s
Jim's attention is diverted to a giant monster emerging from the swamp.
Jim: Great Googly Woogly!
Doppel-Jim: This *****'s name is Sneezageddon, a big ol' ***** i made myself using the DNA of a ******* swamp thing and my own ******* cold Germs
The Sneezageddon Monster Grabs Jim and throws him into the murk. Jim resurfaces and turns back to the wristwatch.
Jim: Look my doppelganger, you gave me coordianates here, so you asked for it!
Doppel Jim: Oh ****! yes i ******* did.
Doppel Jim Angrily hangs up, As Earthworm jim gets ready to fight the beast
Jim: Eat Dirt! Common Cold Monster that smells like cough drops!
== After Boss 3 ==
In Doppel-Jim's hideout, Doppel-Jim is seen throwing an angry fit
Doppel-Jim: Gah **** **** **** **** **** **************! No matter what i ******* try, that goody little **** always gets the better of me.
Doppel Jim's Suit's Wristwatch Rings, He refuses to answer it, but then it answers itself, Revealing the Real Earthworm Jim
Jim: Groovy!
Doppel Jim: What the ****? How the **** did you get my ******* number?
Jim: I Learned your Signal Jamming trick and decided to use it for good. Good as in defeating space crooks like you! and since you are my exact opposite..... I Can't handle losing, you must like it. so why don't you give up now
Doppel-Jim: Don't be so ******* Literal minded.
Scene chagne back to the swamp, where Jim is triumphantly standing in front of the defeated Sneezageddon.
Jim: Now i'd better get away before i catch this your cold from this beast.
Earthworm Jim Hops onto his pocket rocket and zooms away. Meanwhile back in Doppel-Jim's Secret Hideout, Doppel-Jim hangs up the wristwatch phone
Doppel-Jim: **** he's heading towards me, but he never expects the ******* black hole!
Meanwhile Jim, zooming though space. see's the mentioned black hole.
Jim: By the Great Worm Spirit!!
Jim Tries to get away, but the hole pulls him close
== Before Boss 4 ==
Jim Is Seen weeping intensely, his pocket Rocket has run out of fuel and he's on the other side of a black hole
Jim: *Crying* Why doesn't my beloved pocket rocket understand the meaning of Timing?
A Giant Tentacle Alien appears from underneath Jim and grabs his pocket rocket. Jim stops weeping as he floats his way onto a nearby piece of space Junk.
Jim: A DirecTV satelite?, what a find! Still, what do you call this thing? it's ginormous!
Earthworm Jim's Wristwatch rigns. he Answers it. Revealling Peter Puppy
Peter Puppy: Hi Buddy, I Just got a Call from Doppel-Jim telling me that you're no match for Tentaclez.
Jim: Yeah, But what Doppel-Jim doesn't know is that i know how to deal with giant calamari!
Peter Puppy: Indeed you do! see ya!
Tentaclez Grabs the Satelite Jim was Standing on and eats it. Jim hops onto another piece of space junk.
Jim: Latvian Reserch vessel? OK, enough with the space junk gazing.... Eat Dirt! Mutant Octopus thingy!
== After Boss 4 ==
Tenaclez sinks downwards into nothingness below. Earthworm Jim, Refuelling the pocket rocket using fuel from pieces of space junk. Raises his hand in triumph
Jim: Groovy! and no calls from by fiendish twin yet
Earthworm Jim zooms off on his pocket rocket, however, his suit's wristwatch phone rings. he answers it. Revealling Doppel-Jim again
Jim: Spoke too sooon, so Doppel Jim, you gonna curse me out again?
Doppel-Jim: **** Yes and i have a big ******* announcement to make, i took over Demoni-cat's position as the ******* ruler of heck
Earthworm Jim is suprised by this. then he remembers something
Jim: I Should have known. I Sent Demoni-Cat to space jail few days ago. And only you are bad enough to take the throne.
Doppel-Jim: **** yes, i am your fiercest ******* foe and i've already ****** up.....
Earthworm Jim, still riding his pocket rocket. runs into a directional sign
Jim: Pizza Planet? no, wait.... Pixel Planet?
Doppel-Jim: **** ******* *******, I Was gonna ******* say that. oh well, enjoy being totally ****** up by glitches!
Earthworm Jim Follows the sign to Pixel Planet as Doppel-Jim hangs up
Jim: I could have said something back, but i'm too good to do that.
== Before Boss 5 ==
Earthworm Jim Enters Boss Arena, but trips over a pixel and falls out of his suit.
Jim: Suit boy! I'm Coming for ya!
Earthworm Jim Slithers towards the suit, but the arena glitches out, sending him to another part of the Arena.
Jim: Uhhhh, What was that? whatever it is, did by wicked doppelganger glitch out this place? and if so, why?
A Jumbled mess for Pixels spawns from the wall of the Arena and reaches out to grab the worm. Jim dodges quickly, slithering back over to the suit and hopping back in it. he draws his blaster and prepares to fight
Jim: Eat Dirt! Unstable code in the Matrix.....
The Glitch blasts a beam of digital energy, blowing Jim Back out of the suit. Now forced to face the glitch without the suit. Jim uses this long body to grab the blaster out of the Suit's hand and holds it, ready to fight.
== After Boss 5 ==
Having Just Defeated the Glitch. Jim Hops back in his suit and gets out his pocket rocket.
Jim: Groovy!
The Pixelated arena starts to Dissapear, Earthworm Jim manages to rocket away before the dissapearing pixels reach him
Jim: Phew, I Could have been the next big glitchy mess down there.
The Wristwatch Rings Again. Doppel-Jim Appears again, but he's crying
Doppel-Jim: *Choked Up* ******* *******. victory is ******* yours, i quit!
Jim: Great! now where's your hideout
Doppel-Jim: Psyche!!! I still got lots of ******* gas in my ******* tank. you're ******* going down.
The Doppelganger hangs up. Earthworm Jim Continues rocketing towards another planet
Jim: Hopefully this is where Doppel-Jim's secret Hideout is. It's green, just like him.
A Meteorite crashes into the Pocket Rocket, sending it crashing into a different planet
Jim: Woah Nelly!
== Before Boss 6 ==
Earthworm Jim Arrives in the Boss Arena. Noticing nothing there.
Jim: Something tells me this isn't Doppel-Jim's Hideout....
He Decides to Call his friend Peter Puppy on his Suit's Wristwatch, but it doesn't work.
Jim: No Signal? *sigh* why is nothing ever easy
Still, Nothing Happens. Earthworm Jim wanders around the arena, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, all the doors close and an alarm goes off
Alarm: Foe Alert! Foe Alert! prepare for battle!
Jim: Ok Jim, Don't Panic... They might recognize me from the Weinstein Company movie i starred in years ago.... maybe.
The Boss of this arena enters the field
Jim: You wanna piece of me? Eat Dirt! Hopefully penultimate boss of the game!
== After Boss 6 ==
Earthworm Jim, Having defeated the Boss. Stands Triumphantly
Jim: Groovy!
The Suit's Wristwatch phone rings, he Answers it.
Peter Puppy: Hey Jim! You're almost at your Doppelganger's Hideout aren't you
Jim: Well i was Heading for it, but i got thrown off course.
Peter Puppy: Well I Know you well, and i bet you'll come up with something
Jim: And i Already Did.
Jim Shows Peter Puppy the Teleporter Nearby.
Peter Puppy: Great! See you when you beat.....
The Screen Goes to Static and suddenly Doppel-Jim appears instead
Jim: Great Googily Woogly!
Doppel Jim: ****! You've bested every ******* minion i have, now things are going to get ******* real.
Jim: Oh It's Real Alright, and that dirty mouth is really getting on my nerves!
Doppel-Jim: I Don't give a ****. when we clash, you're gonna be in the ****, Later!
Earthworm Jim Hangs up and hops in the teleporter
Jim: OK, enough insults for now. How do you work this thing?
The Teleporter Beams Jim out of the Boss room and onto the planet near Doppel-Jim's Hideout, With signs pointing to it
Jim: *Chuckles* He Didn't Hide it Too well.
== Before Final Boss ==
Earthworm Jim Arrives in the main room of Doppel-Jim's Hideout, Encountering Doppel-Jim Himself.
Jim: So I Finally Found you, Wicked Doppelganger.
Doppel-Jim: You Didn't ******* Find me you *******, i Dared you to ******* come here. All those ******* Minions were just to slow you the **** down so the time to ******* fight will be sweeter.
Jim: Man, Those words are even worse in the flesh.
Earthworm Jim points his blaster at Doppel-Jim, who points his own blaster at Jim
Doppel-Jim: There can only be one ****** worm named Jim in the ******* Galaxy.
Jim: My Thoughts Exactly! Eat Dirt! Wicked Doppelganger!
The Two Jims face off against eachother,
== After Final Boss ==
The Two Jims continue to engage in a Ray Gun Fight.
Jim: "THIS is for the finger you gave me earlier!"
Earthworm Jim Gets an Idea, then Approaches Doppel-Jim
Jim: "You're my exact Opposite Right?
Doppel Jim "Opposite as ****"
Jim: "Well That Means, Not only do you like the things i don't. I Have things that you don't and You have things that i Don't"
Doppel-Jim: You ******* Got nothing on me...... *Groans*
Doppel Jim Starts to lose energy.
Jim: "Case in point, Diabetes! You've been foiled by the ugly truth of undiagnosed differences from me"
Doppel Jim's Vision Starts to Blur and he collapses, Earthworm Jim Pulls his Doppelganger's unconcious body from his suit and raises him triumpanhtly
Jim: "Groovy!"
== Ending Cutscene ==
Jim Arrives back in the Town to a roar from the crowd. He hands Doppel-Jim's Body to a fleet of Police
Jim: This was the culprit of the Destruction, not me.
Police: Thanks Jim, You Did it Again!
The policeman inject a needle of Insulin into Doppel-Jim's Body, He wakes up
Doppel-Jim: Wha? Where the **** am i?
Jim: Foiled by the Real Jim, in other words, Me!
The Police chloraform Doppel-Jim and carry him away, a group of reserchers take Doppel-Jim's suit to a reserch lab.
Police: This time, we'll take this faker to a prison with actual death, and absolutely no Insulin.
Earthworm Jim goes through the cheering crowd, Which includes Jim's friends Snott, Princess Whatsername and of Course, Peter Puppy.
Peter Puppy: Way to go Jim! The Universe is Safe again! How did you know Doppel-Jim had Diabetes?
Jim: Simple Peter, He's my Exact Opposite, i keep a close eye on my health, he couldn't care less. and it might not look like it, but he's not the brightest Space Crook ever.
Earthworm Jim Looks off into the dusk sky. Text Appears on the Screen saying "Made in Latvia By Total Eclipse Software, Published in the US by Interplay, The Earthworm Jim Franchise created by Doug TenNapel, Stay Groovy!"
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