Re-Don't (Story)

*This is for the written version of Re-Don't from 2018. For the 2020 comic, go here.
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Re-Don't is a story written by Saveraedae about the story of Mark's graduation.
=The Story=
==Chapter 1==
It had been about two years since his sophomore year; the time seeming as if it was just dragging on, making every moment of his life painfully unbearable. But despite the slow trudge of time itself, Mark stayed determined; Determined only to graduate, to please his dad, to prove him wrong, to prove he was worth something. He'd given up everything just for this. Hell, he was on the edge of failing the tenth grade with all Fs. But to everyone's surprise, Mark was trying. It was a remarkably huge challenge for him though, as he had the hardest time paying attention. If he didn't find the content the least bit interesting, he would easily space out or advert his attention to something else. Nobody expected a guy like that, with the worst attention span ever, to even come close to graduating. Both his teachers and peers were baffled at Mark's sudden change of pace. But of course, there was an underlying factor they were all ignoring. Mark had no friends anymore. Of course it was arguable whether or not he had friends in the first place, but it was pretty obvious; Mark seemed to want nothing to do with Benjamin, Kenny, or Jonathon anymore. This was strange, as he had told himself for years that he was still their friend. But just as slowly as time had passed, his desire to be with them had faded. Of course, he still would love for them to come running back to him, but he knew that would probably not happen. Mark was in fact, thrilled beyond belief that he was graduating; He never expected himself to considering his grades in the past. But to his relief, he was, and he made sure his father knew. Ever since he learned that he was, he told him every single day. When he first told him, Samuel seemed a bit surprised, but also didn't pay him much mind. To him, Mark graduating meant that he could finally get rid of him. Mark appeared to be heading somewhere. He had no worries.
****
Mark opened his eyes almost as soon as the sun had risen, excitement rushing through him like it never had before. The day had finally come; He was finally going to prove his dad wrong. Mark felt himself fidget with intense joy. He had been quite restless throughout the night, he in fact, woke up a few times out of anxiousness. The excitement was getting to him. He had a joyous smile plastered across his face as he gripped his covers with both hands. He couldn't wait until the moment came. Leaping out of bed, he threw some clothes on an ran downstairs happily. It was quite early, but Mark knew he wouldn't have been able to fall back asleep. He turned his head just to meet eyes with his dad, who was downstairs already as well. He appeared as if he was leaving. Mark tilted his head a bit. 'Oh. No big deal,' Mark thought to himself, 'he's probably going to leave work later to see the ceremony.' He gave the fact that his dad was leaving no second thoughts as he sheepishly waved at him. 
"M-morning, Dad..." Mark managed to get out. It was rare that he even greeted him in the morning, and Samuel took note of that.
"Uh, hi." His father responded, slightly annoyed and obviously not paying Mark much attention. 
His mother was up as well, as was his brother. Mark made his way over to his family, who were all in the kitchen. 
"Oh, good morning, Sweetheart!" Darcy greeted, seeming surprised. "You're up early! Excited?"
Mark simply nodded, his smile still present as his mother put her arms on his shoulders.
"I'm so proud of you, Mark Dear, you've worked so hard for this." She pulled him into a hug, which Mark returned happily. Darcy patted her son's back. 
That meant a lot to Mark. He was thrilled to know that his mother was proud of him. He was pretty sure his dad was too, but as always, his dad was the same harsh, unaffectionate man he always was to him. He snuggled his mother in the hug a bit before letting go. Mark smiled. He couldn't contain his excitement.
"What'd he do?" Samuel asked, eying Mark. Mark turned to look at him.
"I'm graduating..." Mark replied, his excitement dying down a bit as he met eyes with him.
"Oh yeah," his father replied, "that's happening."
Mark turned to see his mom's response. There wasn't one. Over the years, Darcy had seemed to have stopped arguing with Samuel for making fun and being rude to her son. Mark was used to being the subject of abuse, both mentally and physically. He'd had to put up with it for nineteen years after all.
Mark turned his attention to Leon, who was being particularly quiet. Leon was now eight, almost nine, and he still cared for his brother the same amount as always. Leon was exceptionally intelligent for an eight year old, Mark noticed, and he knew that Leon would definitely go somewhere one day. Mark, despite graduating, had no plans for his future. He knew that his dad would probably bug him about it, but he genuinely had never even come up with the slightest idea of what he'd want to do. He was taken out of his clustered thoughts as his mother put her hand on his shoulder.
"I made you a plate, Sweetie. Come on and eat." Mark smiled, happy that his mom was being so generous, and sat down at the table. 
Before he could even take a bite, his Dad spoke up. "He should've fixed his own plate."
Mark rolled his eyes. Nobody said anything. Pure silence, except for the sound of Mark eating his breakfast, filled the room. Darcy smiled as she watched him stuff his face as usual. "You grew up so fast, my dear." She felt herself begin to tear up, but Samuel had something to say again.
"No he didn't. He still acts like he's in elementary school."
Darcy eyed him as she ruffled her son's hair affectionately. "He's fine, Samuel. He just wants to be noticed."
"Attention whore." Mark heard him mutter before getting up. "Well. I'm going to work now. See you when I get home." Everyone just nodded, not saying a word to him. He took note of that and left silently. After about another minute of silence, Leon finally decided to talk.
"I'm excited to see you graduate, Mark." He looked at his brother with a cheerful expression.
Mark tilted his head up a bit to meet eyes with him. "Oh really?"
Leon nodded in reply. "I know you worked hard to be able to graduate this year."
A huge grin spread across Mark's face. "Yeah, I did!"
    It was very true. And he knew the moment was right around the corner.
==Chapter 2==
It was time. Mark was impatiently waiting for his turn. Oh, how proud his dad would be, he thought. This would finally be the time that Mark could see his dad be proud of him. He knew he was smiling like an idiot, but he didn't care. He was standing a few people away from Kenny and Ash, and occasionally would look over to them, but he quite certainly didn't seem to care about their presence. Walking forward another step, he began to feel his heart pounding within his chest. Due to what? Excitement? Nervousness? He turned his head to look over at the audience. He'd had quite a tricky time trying to find his family, as the huge mixture of families from each and every student were present. He still couldn't see them. Taking another step forward, he finally spotted his mother, who was accompanied by Leon. They were watching as the student who was currently up there received their diploma and contently made their way with the other people. Mark's heart began to pound even faster at the sudden realization that his father didn't seem to be present. He had to have overlooked something. Beginning to stare, he was struck hard at the fact that his dad, indeed, was not there. He felt his body weaken as he clenched his fists wearily. 'It can't be...' Mark thought to himself in disbelief, 'He was always on my ass about passing to graduate. Where the fuck is he at?' Maybe he was somewhere else. It was almost Mark's turn. Taking his final scan of the crowd, he finally concluded that his mother and Leon were the only two from his family to show up. Mark felt tears well up in his eyes as he heard his name being called. It was loud and clear. He began to make his way over to the academic officer slowly. He knew all of the focus was on him. Usually, he would absolutely adore that. However, this time was different. He fought his best to keep his tears from flowing, but devastatingly enough, felt as streaks of tears began to make their way down his cheeks. He gave the person a sad, sorry, glare. It was only returned with the officer's usual warm smile. Mark began to feel terrible. There was no way he could take his diploma. There it was, right in front of him. It was the very thing that he had worked so hard the past two years to receive, but yet... he felt as if he had worked for nothing. What did the diploma signify besides the two whole years he'd so painstakingly wasted, hoping and longing only for his father's acceptance. Hell, even some type of praise would've felt the least bit rewarding. But no. What more was this diploma besides a simple 'participants reward?' It meant nothing. Mark felt himself sink down in his sorrows. Why couldn't his dad have at least showed up? It was the very least he could do. It just went to show how much he didn't care. Mark began to feel his sadness manifest into anger. His heart continuing to pound at its fastest, he took the stupid diploma and shook the person's hand furiously. He didn't care anymore. He didn't give the slightest care about how others perceived him. As he made his way back over to his stupid chair, he felt another sharp and painful feeling rush over him. He began to cry into his sleeves as he sat down. It wasn't fair! Why did people always abandon him at the only times he really needed them? He felt as his tears stained the sleeves of his stupid, meaningless graduation gown and sniffled a bit before moving his hands away. Everything began to grow blurry. He could barely comprehend the names being called despite the loud microphone. He rubbed his forehead in immense pain. He felt absolutely terrible. His palms were drenched in sweat and he felt himself tremble. He began to feel his body grow cold, the mental agony unbearable. This was without a doubt the worst he had felt in his entire life; and that was saying something.
The whole rest of the ceremony was but a blur to him; but that was ok. He wanted no memory of that horrid day anyway.
==Chapter 3 (UNFINISHED)==
Mark hadn't said a word since his graduation. He outright refused to answer to any concern directed toward him. There was no way he could formulate something proper at this point. If he would've been in his right mind, he would've been surprised when his ex-friends approached him yesterday. As it was an astonishment to everyone there that he even managed to graduate, he had garnered their attention. Though Mark's memory of it was remarkably fuzzy, he at least remembered how they had questioned why he was upset. He'd merely answered with "Dad didn't show," and that was enough for them to feel the least bit of sympathy for the poor pain stricken boy for awhile... 
It was obvious that Mark was feeling miserable; His face had been plastered with wet streaks running down it since the previous night. Completely unlike the previous day, he'd been neglecting to move from the mitigation of his bed despite it being half past three. He had no reason to get up. What did he have in store for him anyway? He was famished, but wasn't showing any interest in getting up to eat. As he lay there slightly shaking in fear, thoughts began to rush through him like a torrent.
'What now? What the hell am I supposed to do now...? I've got nothing. I've wasted my fucking time with that dumbass. Why did I think trying to shape up would help me? It never did... it's only brought me worse shit. Trying... should I stop? How much more can I even do? I did what others didn't expect me to do, but it wasn't enough. He didn't care. But of course he didn't. Why was I stupid enough to think he would care? Thinking about it, has he even ever told me 'good job,' or that he was proud of me? If he did I'd remember... Oh, what's the point? I've thrown my whole life away so I could try and impress him; and look where it put me. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. God fucking hell, I feel so awful right now. I just want to die. Seems like the only option right now if I want this to end. Or is this just the beginning? If I kill myself it'll just be worse. You know what? If I die, I die. I don't care anymore. It's gonna happen anyway. I don't even have a way to kill myself. God, what a pathetic faggot I am.'
He heard a knock on his door. Despite this, he remained in his bed. He did not wish to speak to anyone.
"Sweetie?" He heard his mom ask. 
He couldn't answer.
"Honey, it's almost four and you went to bed really early, are you feeling ok?" she asked approaching him. "I saw you were sad yesterday but you wouldn't tell me what was wrong."
Mark showed no interest in communicating. At his state, he couldn't even process that his mother had just walked in. With the pain becoming too horrible to bear, he soon found himself reaching for his neck. He gripped tightly, hoping to ease the pain that he carried inside him. However, this made him feel worse.
"Markus!"
Mark coughed a bit. He'd grabbed harder than he thought he did. He released his grip just as soon as he heard his mother.
"What are you doing?! Do you need to talk to someone? What's wrong? You've been locked up in here since yesterday." She obviously had concern in her voice.
Mark hesitated, but responded. "I don't want to talk." he said softly. He was still crying.
"Honey, yes you do. What's the matter?" Darcy sat on the edge of his bed, soothingly putting her hand on her son's back in an attempt to get an answer out of him. 
There was no response.
"You've got to be hungry. Want to come down and eat?"
Nothing.
Feeling a bit defeated but still having an idea of what his issue could be, she sighed. "Is it about your father?"
Mark tilted his head up a bit, rubbed his eyes, and nodded. "Mhmm." His voice sounded weak, as if he had given up, which he indeed had. It was truly a depressing sight to behold.
"Is it because he didn't come to see you graduate yesterday?"
Mark nodded again. "I spent so long trying to do it for him and he didn't even show up..."
"I'm sorry, Sweetheart." Darcy told him.
Mark once again ceased his responses. He felt worse than he could've ever imagined, and considering all the things he'd been through, all the pain and heartache he had to endure his whole life, that was saying something.
"Is there anything I can do to make it better?"
Without even thinking as his mind was in a frenzy, in a low, deadpan voice, through his substantial breathing, he shakily muttered, "Kill him."
Darcy met eyes with her son. "What?"
Mark immediately averted his gaze. Nothing but a slight groan escaped his mouth as he pondered on what he actually meant and why in fact he did say that. He'd always joked about killing the unloving man and had always dismissed the thoughts. However, this was a stressful point of his life. Why on earth would his mind decide to be lighthearted all of a sudden? 
He put his left index finger on his chin, now deep in thought.
Was that even a possible option? Considering how high and mighty his father acted towards him, he might as well have been better off digging his own grave. However, he didn't seem to have any genuine form of disinterest in his mind. He actually liked the thought. Would it be equivalent to the nineteen years of Hell he'd been put through? How would the deed even be done? Just the thought of his father finally succumbing due to the irreversibility of his actions as a parent made Mark tremble a bit. It didn't even sound bad to him. But how was murder— cold, hard murder— amusing to him in the slightest? The thought began to baffle him, but he didn't seem to feel much remorse for feeling the way he was. He met eyes with his mother again, a small smile finally began to weakly spread across his face.
Darcy began to feel a bit concerned. "Honey," she said as calm as she could, "Are you feeling alright?"
Mark thought for a bit, but nodded his head yes.
Category:Stories