The One Fanfic That Isn’t About Killing

I will get back to working on this s o o n :)
This is a goofy fanfic by Morpho. Do not edit without permission or steal ideas or characters. This is not meant to offend anyone; it’s just meant to be a fun meta-humor story that makes lighthearted fun of tropes used in in WoF fandom, and writing in general. You aren’t a bad writer for writing about any of these things, you can write about whatever you want (as long as it follows wiki rules); again, this is supposed to be a silly story.
You can ask for your OC to be featured here if you’re okay with their personalities being exaggerated in this story. Whatever happens to them here will not affect them in your personal canon, since this takes place in an AU. Don’t worry, none of them will die, and I’ll only do weird things to them in the story (hurt them, make them turn into a fish, etc.) with your permission.
If huge chunks of the story suddenly appear at once, that’s because I am transferring them from my personal documents, and am probably behind on uploading them if they’re huge.
Anyway, on with the show!
== Blurb ==
In the world of dragons, bloodlust and violence rules. 
For centuries, the dragons of Pyrrhia have been caught in a bloody war that has killed millions. But, now that the war is over, dragons are trying to live peacefully with each other. But can the tribes get along when ——
WHY IS THERE A MARY SUE?! What? Why is she making everything weird? That isn’t what this story was supposed to be about!
Well…I guess this fanfic won’t be about killing anymore!
== The Story ==
=== Chapter 1: The Sue Returns (Without Ever Having Appeared Before) ===
Nightie was a normal NightWing, generic name (similarities to pajamas notwithstanding) and all.
She didn't have any mind-reading, future vision, animus magic, dimension-hopping powers, or anything else that might make her a Protagonist - or, worse, a Mary Sue. She even had the generic NightWing design of black scales, gray horns, a dark gray underbelly, and dark purple eyes.
None of that explained why some random SkyWing was trying to murder her.    
Not even close.
In fact, it should have been quite the opposite. Crimson the murderer should have been going for someone like Princess Aurora, the popular RainWing/IceWing hybrid with animus powers, who was currently floating bites of fish into her mouth. Or that weird new SilkWing student who was eating mangoes in the corner of the food cave.
Not her.
And yet, here Nightie was, with the blood-red SkyWing holding a knife to her neck.
“I WILL MURDER YOU!” he shouted, pinning Nightie down viciously as everyone watched in horror.
“...I have some questions about that,” Nightie said.
“Huh?” Crimson said. "Why aren't you screaming in terror and begging for me to not end your life?"
“Well, for starters, why do you want to murder me all of a sudden?” Nightie asked. “Just last week, you were some edgelord who stole fruit from RainWings and skipped out on classes, and now you're a serial killer? Why is that?”
“Uhh,” Crimson said, loosening his grip on the knife.
“And, second of all, why are you targeting me?” Nightie continued. "I have nothing to do with — “
She was interrupted by a shrill whistle. Everyone turned to look, even Crimson, who dropped his knife (thankfully, Nightie escaped before he could drop it on her neck). The animals in the food cave started stampeding around in terror. They saw something that made everyone's eyes turn into rainbow swirls.
“OH, MOONS!” shouted Princess Aurora, scales tinted green with jealousy. “WHAT IS THAT? It's even more perfect than I am! And that's saying something!”
It was a rainbow dragon, who was shining with glitter. A RainWing/IceWing hybrid? No, this dragon had some features belonging to neither tribe. She had feathered white wings, fab rainbow hair, and fab rainbow eyelashes. Her tail ended in a SandWing barb, her scales were sprinkled with NightWing stars, and she had SeaWing gills on her neck.
No doubt: It was a Mary Sue.
“ATTENTION, STUDENTS OF JADE MOUNTAIN ACADEMY!” boomed the Mary Sue, in a smooth, pop-singer-like voice. “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER?” She snapped her claws, making all the crazed animals freeze in time.
Everyone’s eyes filled with rainbow hearts, even though they did not love this dragon, and were rather confused by her.
“I was,” Crimson said braggishly (is that even a word? Apparently not, according to Spellcheck.).
“I, QUEEN MARY AMETHYSTE CRYSTALLE MOON SUE (but you can just call me Queen Mary Sue), AM HERE TO DECLARE THAT KILLING IS TO BE MADE ILLEGAL HERE! AND, IN FACT, ALL ACROSS PYRRHIA! ALL THROUGH THIS ENTIRE FANFICTION! BUT NOT OTHER FANFICS, SINCE THAT WOULD BE BAD!”
“What?” Nightie said. “Isn’t murder already illegal? Also, who died and made you queen?”
“All the other queens, actually,” Queen Mary Sue informed them. “They all tragically died in a mysterious accident. So, I, consumed with grief, have taken up the crown for all the tribes.” A single, shimmering pretty-tear went down her cheek.
Crocodile tears, Nightie thought.
“What? Are you nuts?!” Nightie yelled. “Who even are you? You must’ve killed all the other queens yourself!”
“No!” Queen Mary yelled. “I am outlawing killing partially because I suspect that my nemesis killed them.” Her bangs went over her eyes emoishly. (I don’t think that’s a word, either. Although Spellcheck isn’t calling me out on it, for some reason.)
“Who’s your nemesis?” Nightie asked. Apparently, everyone else was too shocked to even speak.
“That’s a spoiler,” Queen Mary said. “Um, anyway, I believe we have gotten sidetracked. THIS SHALL NOW BE...THE ONE WINGS OF FIRE FANFICTION THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE KILLING! Well, ‘The One Fanfic That Isn’t About Killing’ sounds better, actually.”
“Not all fanfics involve killing!” Nightie said. “And the ones that do can be really good! Have you ever even read a fanfic?!”
Mary Sue ignored her, and snapped her sparkly claws. 
Nightie was afraid that half the population of Pyrrhia would disintegrate into dust. Instead, a blinding light like a camera flash filled her vision. Once it was gone, the world had been transformed!
First of all, where the vicious, blood-red Crimson once stood, there was now a not-so-vicious, strawberry-red bunny rabbit. The rabbit squeaked, and started running away into the group of no-longer-frozen animals.
And...there weren’t any other changes that Nightie could see right now, being in a cave. So she decided to focus on the one that she could see.
“I thought you said killing wasn’t allowed anymore!” Nightie yelled. “Someone could eat him! I know he was a murderer, but…still.”
“Oh, no, don’t worry, all dragons are vegetarian now,” Queen Mary said. “Don’t want them killing every time they eat!”
“But...plants are alive, too!” yelled a LeafWing named Hemp. “They literally talk! I can hear them griping right now!”
Queen Mary ignored her. “You shall discover the other changes I have made to the world soon enough. Mostly because the author is making them up as she goes along. Also, chatty young NightWing…”
Dang it! Nightie thought nervously. What will she do to me? Turn me into a sparkly squirrel?
“Since you are basically the only dragon here who has said anything interesting...you would make a good sarcastic protagonist!”
“Oh, brother,” Nightie said.
“Exactly!” Queen Mary said. She snapped her talons again, and Nightie fell into a portal.
=== Chapter 2: The Test of Destiny ===
“AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!” Nightie screamed, being sucked through the rainbow vortex of Queen Mary Sue’s portal.
She popped out of the other side of it, in a rather nondescript place. She couldn’t tell what kingdom it was. Sky, maybe? There was a field of grass under her talons, and snowy mountains in the distance. It was sort of pretty, actually, but that was hard to appreciate with Nightie being so dizzy from the blinding colors of the portal still lingering in her eyeballs.
“Where am I?” Nightie said, as all people finding themself in an unfamiliar place are obliged to say.
“In my domain,” hissed a creepy voice.
Nightie jumped and yelled. “AAH!” She whipped around to look at the source of the voice. 
It was a female IceWing with silvery scales, sharp horns, and long, bloodstained claws. She had a cliche evil grin, which was filled with teeth that were sharp enough to...well, Nightie didn’t know, but they sure were sharp.
“I am Bloodstain,” said the IceWing, flexing her sharp talons. “The spirit of murder, in the body of a mortal IceWing. Let me kill you.”
“As if!” Nightie snorted. “Why would I let you kill me? That would be stup —— Ah!” Nightie narrowly dodged a blast of frostbreath by flying into the air. “Also, thanks for introducing yourself. Really appreciate that. Very polite of you.”
Then, she realized something weird.
“Wait ——“
Bloodstain flew into the air, and tried to claw Nightie, but she flew away from Bloodstain. Nightie wondered why she was so weirdly agile all of a sudden, and why she was casting a foreshadow.
“If this fanfic doesn’t have killing in it, why are you trying to kill me?!”
“That stupid MARY SUE!” Bloodstain answered, taking another swipe at Nightie. Again, she dodged, which continued to baffle both of them more and more. “She outlawed killing! She turned every single murderer into a fluffy critter! Well, all of them, except for the ones that fell into a plot hole.” She grinned evilly, and shot another blast of frostbreath.
Nightie dodged again. “A plot hole? What the heck? Also, why are we having such a strangely casual conversation in such a tense moment?”
“Yessssss,” Bloodstain hissed. “The plot hole. Some of the murderers were able to hide inside the plot hole, making them immune to anything that insipid rainbow dragon tried to do to them.”
“What about you?” Nightie asked, dodging a whip from Bloodstain’s tail. “Did you hide there?”
“No,” Bloodstain said. “I am a spirit. I will be immune until Mary Sue actually catches me with her own filthy talons. Well, unless the rules of the world were changed again…”
Nightie quietly giggled to herself as she dodged another attack. The dragon who was trying to murder her had become a source of information instead!
“BORING!” thundered a voice from the clouds.
Nightie and Bloodstain both shrieked like tiny scavengers, and looked up.
A giant, rainbow, Queen Mary Sue-shaped cloud was hovering in the sky. Pink lightning crackled around it.
“YES, YES, I GET IT NOW!” Queen Mary the cloud boomed. “ME BESTOWING PROTAGONIST POWERS UPON YOU DID WORK! STOP CHATTING! IT’S GETTING BORING FOR ME TO WATCH!”
“But I thought you said you didn’t want any killing to happen!” Nightie squeaked. “Also, you gave me superpowers without my permission or knowledge?!”
“YEAH, I DID!” Cloud-Queen Mary said. “WHY DOES IT MATTER? YOU ONLY HAVE A FRACTION OF MY POWER, ANYWAY.”
“Aayyeii!” Nightie squealed. She tried to dust herself off, as Bloodstain watched in confusion, not sure whether to attack Nightie or not. “I have your powers inside me?! Gross!”
“DON’T BE OFFENDED, CHILD,” Cloud-Queen Mary said. “ALSO, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW A LOT OF THINGS. HOW ABOUT I TAKE YOU TO MY PALACE FOR TEA AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING?”
Before Nightie (or Bloodstain) could ask what a child was, Nightie was sucked through a portal...again.
"I'll get you next time, Batman!" Bloodstain said, shaking her fist in anger at the portal.
=== Chapter 3: Exposition Tea ===
When Nightie popped out of the portal, she was in a very...descript place.
She was in a fancy, glittery, huge palace room, with huge, sparkling curtains over huge windows, and a huge carpet lining the floor. Everything was colored in eyeblinding shades of pink and rainbow.
Hey, wait… Nightie thought. Why isn’t pink included in “shades of rainbow”?
“Because pink isn’t in the rainbow, silly!” Mary Sue said, sitting on a glittery, frill-covered pink-and-rainbow throne, which had another, slightly smaller throne beside it, and several guards and advisers around it.
“Oh,” said Nightie. “Wait, did you just read my mind?”
“Anyway, I’d like to introduce you to my husband and our son!” Mary said. She gestured to the throne next to her, which Nightie hadn’t paid much attention to before, since she was so dazzled by all of the sparkles, rainbows, and her sickness upon seeing them. The throne was colored in manly shades of manly colors, and was sturdy and undecorated. A muscular, dark red-and-blue dragon sat in it.
“This is my husband, King Gary Stu!” Mary said.
“HELLO, MORTAL,” King Gary boomed, making everyone else in the room (except Queen Mary) cover their ears from the sheer loudness of the noise. “WHAT HAVE YOU COME FOR?”
“Umm...your wife sent me here? So she could explain everything to me?”
“OH,” Gary said.
“So...uh...where’s your son?” Nightie asked Mary, getting more confused by the moment.
“I can call him to meet us here,” Mary said. She raised her head to look at the sky. “DEUS EX MACHINA! Come over here! We have someone that we’d like you to meet!”
Out of thin air, a dragon popped into existence.
But it was not a normal dragon.
It was…
A ROBOT dragon.
He didn’t look like any tribe in particular, and was made entirely out of large plates of gleaming silver metal instead of scales. His eyes and the cracks between his plates glowed blue.
“Yeah, who is it?” the robot dragon, who Nightie assumed was Deus Ex Machina, said. Despite sounding like, well, a robot voice, his voice showed a surprising amount of emotion (annoyance and boredom, at the moment).
“Glah...uh...me?” Nightie said, still stunned at the sight of a robot dragon, even after everything else that she’d seen and been totally casual about. Although, that may have been because she’d never even seen a normal robot before, living in a world without very advanced technology... up to the moment when Mary Sue did her claw-snap-thing, at least.
“Hmm,” Deus said, squinting at Nightie. “You look like a normal dragonet. Do you have any untold powers? Are you in a prophecy of any sort?”
“Not that I’m aware of…” Nightie answered. “Well, except for the fact that I managed to dodge every one of the attacks that the personification of violence tried to do, despite me having never been in real combat before.”
Deus gasped robotically. He turned to Mary Sue. “Queen Mary Amethyste Crystalle Moon Sue, did you give that dragonet Protagonist Powers?!”
“Yes,” Queen Mary said. “It’s not a big deal. Most Protagonists are dragonets anyway. And often NightWings. It’s one of the most common tribes for protagonists. And don’t call me by my full name, son. Only I’m allowed to do that, Deus Ex Lazerbot Teknologi Futuristik Machina.”
Deus sighed.
“Anyway, who wants tea while I provide a whole bunch of exposition?” Queen Mary said, snapping her talons and making a cup of tea appear in everyone’s talons.
“How did you know that chai tea is my favorite kind of tea?” Nightie asked suspiciously after taking a careful sip.
“Because I know everyone’s favorite,” Mary answered. “I’m just amazing like that.”
“How?” Nightie asked.
“Well, I’m not here to exposition about that,” Mary said. “I’m here to exposition about YOU!”
“What?”
“Yes, of course! You, Nightie, you!”
“What about me?”
“Well,” Mary started, taking a sip of her rainbow-colored tea, “I decided to choose you as the Protagonist of this story because you seemed like you would be the best suited for being a snarky protagonist out of everyone. That means that you get Protagonist Powers! These are very special and rare powers that appear when you need them the most, modifying themselves for the situation perfectly! You never know what they will be until they appear! However, what always manifests, no matter what, is an inability to get permanently harmed or killed, and a strange ability to dodge danger perfectly. That isn’t really necessary in this beautiful, perfect utopia I have created, but I wanted to be careful, just in case!” She giggled.
“So…” Nightie said. “I’m a Mary Sue, too?! NO!”
“Oh, no no no!” Queen Mary said, waving her perfectly-shaped talons. “You could never be as powerful and perfect as me! No offense, of course.”
Category:Fanfictions
Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete)
Category:Fanfictions (Fanon)
Category:Genre (Comedy)
Category:Content (Morpho*Aurora)