Monty Can't Buy Me Love

Monty Can't Buy Me Love is the twenty-first episode of Season 10.
==Synopsis==
When the town becomes enamored with a Richard Branson-style millionaire who goes on crazy adventures and loves everyone, Mr. Burns realizes no one in Springfield likes, much less loves, him (save for Smithers, but Mr. Burns doesn't know or even care that his assistant has a crush on him) and enlists Homer's help in changing that — which leads them to Scotland to find the Loch Ness Monster.
== Full Story ==
While on a family stroll, the Simpsons discover a new mega mall named "Fortune Megastore". It has all their needs and desires. The opening for it has drawn a big crowd; Mr. Burns, taking a ride in his car, is unable pass through the crowd and wants to see what the hullabaloo is about. Once he enters, Mayor Quimby announces a very special person has entered. Burns is flattered that they would notice him, but they are really announcing billionaire-tycoon Arthur Fortune, the owner of the store, who, as a crowd pleaser, gives them all free money. Mr. Burns is miserable because he is not wanted. Burns tries to win their attention back by enlisting Homer to help him gain the town's eye. First they try to copy Arthur by throwing money to the locals, but they choose to throw silver dollars off a tall building, resulting in physical and bodily damage to the citizens. Next, Burns asks Homer to bring a check from himself to the Springfield Hospital. He later finds out that they didn't take the check under Burns' name, but under Homer's name, and Homer ends up getting a wing named after him. Then, Burns goes on a -type radio show called "Jerry Rude and the Bathroom Bunch", but he is appalled at the questions and embarrassed when the host makes farting noises. Burns has had all he can take and attempts to do something no one has ever done before: locate and capture the Loch Ness Monster.
Burns has enlisted the help of Homer, Groundskeeper Willie and Professor Frink to capture the monster. After several attempts of locating it, there is no success; Burns plans to empty the loch. Lo and behold, they find the monster. The younger men of the group are a little too scared to try and capture the beast. Leaving Burns to somehow single-handedly best Nessy and get it into a harness on the helicopter. They bring it back to Springfield. During his unveiling, a camera crew starts taking pictures. The monster likes the attention, but Burns goes crazy due to the bright flashes and drives the crowd off. With nowhere to go, Burns chooses to get The Loch Ness Monster a job at a Las Vegas casino.
== Citations ==
fr:L'amour ne s'achète pas
pl:Monty Can't Buy Me Love
pt:Não podes comprar o meu amor
Category:Mr. Burns Episodes
Category:Travel episodes
Category:Homer episodes
Category:Groundskeeper Willie Episodes
Category:Episodes featuring guest stars
Category:Episodes named after a character
Category:Episodes named after Mr. Burns
Category:Agnes Skinner episodes
Category:Episodes with a alternative Gracie Films logo
Category:TV-14 Episodes
Category:Episodes featuring musical guest stars
Category:Episodes named after songs
Category:Written by John Swartzwelder
Category:Directed by Mark Ervin
Category:Highly Rated Episodes