Runelords 17.2 - Love

A light rap on the door caught Aldern’s attention. “Come in,” he said, twisting around. 
The door opened, and Luna stuck her head inside. She grinned cheerily, “Hello! I’m back.”
Aldern jumped to his feet, “Oh, thank goodness!” He closed the distance in a flash and scooped her into a tight hug. “I was so worried! Thank heaven you’re back! Are you ok? Did anything happen?”
Blinking, Luna hesitantly returned the embrace, taken off guard by the display of concern, “I’m...I’m fine. Nothing happened. Of course nothing happened.”
“That place is horrible,” he said, grasping her tightly. “Anything could have...I’m just so glad you’re back. That you’re ok.”
“But...but we knew that there wasn’t anything there that could hurt me,” she said, earnestly confused. He clung to her and she returned the embrace, resting her head on his collarbone. “You...you didn’t have to worry. It won’t hurt me. It’s...it’s just sort of sad. It’s a sad place.” She fell silent for a minute, thoughtful. Eventually, she added, “We’ll get it fixed, and you don’t have to go back. I got the mould and gave it to the Shivering Ones; they were happy, and everything is fine. Don’t worry about me.” 
He squeezed her tighter, his expression sad and fretful. “I want you to be safe.” They stood quietly for a while, holding each other. A soft sound caught Aldern’s attention: Luna was chuckling almostly silently. He turned his head towards her, “What is it?”
“Nothing,” she whispered. “...It’s just...just strange. I mean...it’s weird, that you’re worried about it being unsafe. Usually, people send me places because it’s not safe. It’s...strange.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s my job, right? Like I said,” she explained. “I clean up things. Spills, escapes, fires, crazy mages with mind-control...why risk someone who could get hurt, right? I can’t, so they send me in, to the places that aren’t safe. Seems so strange, to have it the other way.”
He moved his hand to cradle her head, “You shouldn’t go to places where you could get hurt.
“Heh, there aren’t many of those…” she chuckled, leaning into him harder. “You don’t need to worry.
“I do,” he said quietly. “I don’t think I can help it.”
“Heh, I’m sure you could,” she nuzzled into his chest. She could feel the round, metal medallion embedded in his sternum against her cheek. “But that’s ok. You just...don’t need to.” He sighed, and the two leaned into each other, grateful for the comfort. Luna broke the long-held silence, whispering, “I like the way your shirt smells.”
Aldern ran his fingers through her hair, closing his eyes. “I love you,” he said quietly.
Luna’s eyes flew open, and she twisted her neck to look up at him. Her voice was small and tight with confusion, “What?”
“I like the smell of your hair,” he said evenly, as though he had never said his last statement at all.
She looked at him with almost a hint of nervous fear before turning her face back towards his chest. “Why would you…?” she whispered but fell silent, her question unfinished and unanswered. She redoubled the force of her embrace, clenching her fingers into his shirt. They stood in silence, a quiet insistence to their hug, both people clinging to the other as though they might disappear. “...I can’t let go now…” Luna said, voice tiny. “I can’t let go...because it might not be real...it might go away...and I can’t…” She pushed her face into his chest, desperately trying to fade into him, clinging as tightly as she could. “I can’t let go...because I don’t want to be alone again. I can’t...I can’t be alone again…”
Arms wrapped around her, he pulled her in with all of the same fury that she pressed into his body. “I have the same fear…” he whispered. They had no more words, but their embrace spoke volumes.
---------
Luna and Aldern meandered down the evening street, taking in sights. The next day would see them leave for Turtleback Ferry; the preparations were complete, and they merely waited for their departure in the morning. It was raining softly but steadily, and they stood under umbrellas as they walked. Luna was quiet with a distant look about her, but Aldern let her be, content to wander with her. As they strolled and the streets slowly emptied, she looked up at him, “Aldern?”
“Hmm? What is it?”
Her gaze fell down again, “Can...can we talk for a little bit? About us? And, where we stand?”
His expression was a mix of concern and gravity, “Of course.”
“I just...I’m sorry, I worry about things, and I think about things too much sometimes, and I’m...yeah, that’s all. I’m just a bit worried.”
“Whatever about?” he asked.
“I…” she paused and sighed before continuing, “I worry, that both of us are worried. About being alone. We don’t want to be alone. And we’re both sitting in the back of our heads terrified that we’re the only ever people who could possibly want to be with us. I don’t want that to be a reason I’m with someone, the only reason I’m with someone, or the reason they’re with me. I don’t think, it’s not the only reason I like you, you’re a wonderful man, but I’m worried, that, maybe you’re only wanting to be with me because you’re worried that there isn’t anyone else. Which isn’t true! There are lots and lots of people out there. I’m not the only one.”
Aldern looked at her with consideration before replying, “I understand not wanting to be alone, and, I can see why you might think that. But, I can swear that’s not the case. I enjoy being with you. I like spending time with you, talking with you, and I think you’re a very special person. Even if not wanting to be alone is a factor, it’s not the only one by far.”
Luna’s worry suppressed a small smile that threatened to cross her face, and she leaned over, pressing herself into Aldern’s side as they walked. He smiled gently and moved to put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in. They walked a short ways in silence before she stood up again, moving out from under his arm but sliding her hand into his. She continued, “I guess...I also worry that...well, I’ve never really...been in anything serious. Not with one person, nothing formal. I worry...I don’t even know what I worry.” She frowned thoughtfully, “I never really believe when people think there’s only ever one person for anyone. I never think that you can’t love more than one person, that love is some sort of finite thing that you can run out of, or if you give some to one person there’s less for another. I don’t know. It’s weird, for me, to be in something like that. It’s weird, after so long, too. It seems sudden, after so long. And it’s like...I don’t know, if I love you…” She started talking frenetically, “It’s not that I don’t! I mean, I definitely like you! It’s just that I’ve only known you for like a month, and that’s not a very long time and I don’t know you very well yet, so I can’t really say that I love you, because I don’t know if I do yet, and I don’t want you to feel badly or rejected but I don’t…”
“It’s fine!” he interrupted, “It’s alright, I understand. Really.” She pursed her lips, falling silent. Giving her hand a squeeze, he coaxed, “Go on.”
“Well...yeah. It’s just...I don’t...I don’t know what I’m going on about. I’m worried...that people and things change, and that trying to tell someone that something only works if it’s only you, only together, forever and ever...it’s not...realistic. It’s making an expectation that can fail, and it makes people angry and jealous and push each other away. And that’s for people that only live so long, not for people that actually live forever. Like...what if I go back home? Back to work?”
He frowned, “Well, I can go with you.”
She shook her head, “You really don’t want to. It’s a small place. There’s nothing there but work. You’d be terribly bored. And, there’s no way for you to go there without everyone knowing who, and what, you are. It’s not possible. So, I wouldn’t make you go there, and you don’t want to choose to go there either.”
“I can visit. We can write,” he countered. There was a pervading optimism to his words as he said, “I understand that work needs to be done, and sometimes one of us will need to go somewhere alone. That’s always true. But, I don’t know if I understand. You’re...worried about being together, because we might drift apart? Or fight?”
Luna faltered, “No...maybe...I...hrmn…” She collected her thoughts before continuing, “I don’t want to make promises that could hurt us, if they fail. I’m not saying I can’t keep them! And I’m not saying that you can’t! But, forever is really long, and so many things could and will happen and we’ll meet so many people and do so many things, and I don’t want...I don’t want us to feel like we can’t do things, or love people, or go places, without hurting the other. I don’t want you to feel trapped somewhere if I’m doing work, or that you can’t be with someone because I’m around. And what I really don’t want, is for something like that to make us feel like we lost the other one. Because what I really want...is to know that someone’s there. That you’re there. No matter where I am or what’s happening, I just want to know that you’re there, somewhere, and that you care. In whatever way. Just...that you’re there.”
“Whatever happens,” he said, squeezing her hand again, pulling her in. She leaned over pressed her cheek into arm that she held. “I care about you, and I’ll go where you want. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
They continued to walk down the streets, Luna still looking distant. The rain pattered on their umbrellas, punctuating the silence. “...Tell me about Aisha,” Luna said suddenly.
With a look of confusion, Aldern turned towards her. “Are...you sure?”
She nodded into his arm, “Yeah. Tell me about her. She was your wife; I want to know about her.”
“...Alright…” he said. He started off slowly, “She...was beautiful. She had raven hair, in soft curls. Such fair skin. She was an adventurous sort, from far away, from Aive. She wanted to try everything, do everything. Always pulling me to one more event, one more sight, never tiring. She was interested in Akroum, every new sight and sound and taste. She smiled, so beautifully…” He spoke of her fondly, and reminisced on anecdotes and memories of things they had done and seen, of their wedding, of their first dance. The hesitation he began with melted away as he became engrossed in his thoughts of her, and he smiled. Eventually though, he came to the beginning of the end and caught himself, “And then…!” he stopped suddenly, coughed on his words, and ended, “But, that’s passed. What about you? Have you loved someone before?”
“Oh!” she jumped suddenly, having been absorbed in his tales. “No, no nothing like that. I mean...I’ve been with people before, but nothing serious. Nothing like that.” Her gaze turned distant as she explained, “When I was...young, I guess. I dated some people. A couple people, at the same time. There were a handful of us, and we just, went together. There aren’t a lot of people on Columbia, so, everyone knows each other well, and not a lot of people seriously court unless they’re thinking of getting married, and not many do. We...were all friends, close friends, and more, and that’s how it was.” She looked melancholic as she repeated, “...Was...They’re gone now. ...Well, not gone, they’re all still alive, but…” Her voice dropped to a faint whisper, nearly inaudible, “I’m not.” She spoke up immediately, “I’ll bet that sounds strange. It’s not really how it works here, I’ve heard.”
“It’s not strange,” he said kindly. “Things are done differently in other places. I don’t mind.” He stroked his thumb along the back of her hand, “I don’t mind that you’ve been with others. I certainly have; Aisha was not my first love. I think what matters more, is that right now I’m with you, and I’m happy. I hope that you are happy too.” Luna looked up at him for a moment before nodding, smiling slightly as she put her cheek back on his arm. “I will do whatever makes you happy, and settles your fears,” he said. “I trust that, if we both want to be there for each other, than we will, and things will happen as they should, however that is. Regardless of anything else, I promise to be there for you.” 
Luna sighed contentedly, “I promise too.”
Category:Rise of the Runelords