Seattle

Seattle is a major municipality in the United States of UnAmerica, constructed on a giant [~20km by 45km] surfboard. 
Said surfboard roams around the Venus Scream Waves of the Pacific ocean, bringing with it rain and ruination all across the western coast. 
== Threat Level ==
Prior to 1969, Seattle was rated a 10 on the Torino Scale. This does not mean that it was seen as particularly attractive. Seattle would often forcefully ram any spacecraft which got too close to it, typically destroying them in the process. Despite its imminent danger to humanity as a whole, very few people knew of Seattle and those who did suppressed their own knowledge out of fear.
Following Seattle Joe conquering the city and bringing it to Earth, it was reclassified simply as "Uh Oh" by NASA. To this day, Seattle is used by Seattle Joe as an attack craft, either tricking aircraft into landing at its airport via false telemetry, or bombarding watergoing vessels with artillery fire until they surrender. 
Seattle has demonstrated a remarkable defensive ability, resisting all known attempts at its neutralization. The United States of UnAmerica has tried to destroy the city on several occasions, all of which resulted in the city becoming enraged and/or Bill Nye beating the attackers to death with a baseball bat.
Instead of destroying the city, then-President Wahooley enacted the Seattle act, which resulted in the construction of 420 "anti-Seattle fans" to blow the city away from the rest of America. The Canadians, however, actively oppose the anti-Seattle fans, believing them to be a temporary solution. 
As of this moment, the giant crater of Vancouver is under greatest threat from Seattle, though, fortunately, the direction the Anti-Seattle Fans are pointed means that it might be pointed at Victoria instead, which, let's face it, is a far more concerning prospect.
== History ==
Initially titled Seattlelite, Seattle was considered to be a Near Earth Object up until 1969, when the space pirate Seattle Joe attempted landing there. His crew wrote fondly of the city, noting its massive quantities of gutter water. Within ten minutes, Seattle Joe had established a thriving colony in Seattle's once-empty high rises and coffee shops, but oddly not its supermarkets [these were somehow owned by Donald Trump, despite him not being aware of Seattle's existence].
According to ancient texts, Seattle possesses a "sister city" - an evil(er) twin in a phasing orbit with Earth around the sun. Seattle's residents responded to this threat by constructing the Space Needle, a massive laser and part-time radio tower with the capability to deflect its sister city if it ever strayed too close.
== Trivia ==
* Seattle does not exist.
* The above point is false.
* Seattle ranks 500 on the Pizza Quality Index.
* Seattle's chief export is Bill Nye.
* Seattle's chief import is everything it can find.
* Although primarily populated by humans, Seattle considers the Northern Spotted Space Pirate to be its ethnic majority group.
* Seattle has a loose alliance with North Korea, often trading its coffee for North Korean potatoes.
* Although Seattle is capable of flight, it primarily moves around by surfing on the freak waves the Venusians create by screaming.
* The Ancient Texts do not mention Seattle at all. Its twin, however, appears in several marginalia.
* According to some people, there is another space city that crashed into Io, then Jupiter. This is obviously a hoax...right?
Category:UnAmerica
Category:Dangerous places
Category:Spaceships
Category:Cities
Category:Places on the Pizza Quality Index
Category:Places you will die at
Category:Places few people have escaped
Category:UnDangerous Places