Danger: War Zone

This is the 28th episode of Hoopla's Fantastic Beach, and the 14th episode of season 2.
(Episode starts with Hoopla and the army getting prepared...along with his friends.)
Boopla: Do I look cool in all this armor?
Hoopla: Yes.
Boopla: LET’S GO!
Hoopla: Woah there buddy, slow down. You don’t wanna run out there and get yourself killed already!
Boopla: What else is there to prepare for?
Hoopla: You forgot to eat breakfast.
Alpooh: Remind me again why you pulled me out of jail for this?
Boopla: We need all the help we can get.
Hoopla: And we get a free sacrifice...if the aliens ask for it. 
Alpooh: What are we up against? Wait did you say free sacrifice? CAN I LEAVE?
Hoopla: You signed the contract. 
Alpooh: I DIDN’T READ THE FINE PRINT!
Hoopla: That's your problem, not mine.
Alpooh: GAH!
Doclement: Hoopla, I’ve modified some of the alien weapons to make them more powerful and easier to control. I hope you’re able to win this. (gives weapons to Hoopla)
Hoopla: What will you be doing?
Doclement: I’ll be in the control room watching you. If you need help, just listen to my voice via the speaker on your shirt.
Boopla: Ha, gay… oh wait he’s helping us NEVER MIND.
Zoopla: Son I thought we were baking a cake together, since you “haven’t had time” ever since you “became the president”.
Hoopla: President? Yes…
Zoopla: Also this armor is much too big. Do you have it in a smaller size?
Boopla: Well yeah if you want to die.
Zoopla: Fine.
Doopla: Wait why am I here I thought I was expelled from the beach years ago.
Hoopla: Well you were but I forgive you.
Doopla: Can my criminal record be expunged for stopping an alien invasion?
Hoopla: No.
Alpooh: Yeah I mean sure I tried to mind control everybody but at least I have SOME redeeming qualities. What you did was just unacceptable.
Doopla: What redeeming qualities?
Alpooh: My devilishly handsome good looks and every time I lie I hold in a sneeze.
Hoopla: Wait really?
Alpooh: Yes *sneezes*
(Bernie Swanders walks in)
Bernie Swanders: Will all of you stop blabbering? We have an alien invasion to stop! I’m your president, follow your orders.
Zoopla: President? Hoopla, you liar.
Hoopla: o
(Cut to the Oobglos setting up their attack)
Oobglo General: Okay gentlemen, we need to make sure this attack goes perfect!
Oobglo 1: Why do we all speak fluent English?
Oobglo General: To negotiate before we annihilate.
Oobglo 1: What’s the point in negotiating? Can’t we just annihilate them without that?
Oobglo General: Shush! If you want to know what we really sound like, it’s this. Wᒷꖎꖎ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷリ, ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ╎ᓭ ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ╎ℸ ̣ 'ᓭ ꖎ╎ꖌᒷ.
Oobglo 1: Huh.
(Senator Abglee walks in)
Abglee: How’s the meteor holding up? Is it ready to launch yet?
Oobglo 2: Well..uhm..
Abglee: You’re sweating goop faster than usual. I assume it’s not ready yet. Damn it. Well then, I guess we’ll have to go through with the ground invasion in the meantime.
Oobglo 2: Yes. We shall invade..
(Oobglo 2 gets on a spaceship and heads toward earth)
Hoopla: Hey what’s that in the sky?
Boopla: OH NO THEY’RE COMING!
Alpooh: Get ready boys. 
CalmStar: Guys don’t worry. I got this.
(CalmStar steps directly in the path of the spaceship)
Oobglo 2: What is that idiot doing?
Oobglo 3: Just vaporize him.
(Oobglo 3 starts pushing buttons)
CalmStar: PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF CALMSTAR STAR, THE GREATEST STAR WHO EVER LIVED!
(The vaporization ray starts to charge up)
CalmStar: YOU STUPID ALIENS THINK YOU CAN JUST COME AN INVADE MY HOME? (Turns around) WELL WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT-
(The ray gets fired and CalmStar turns to nothingness)
Hoopla: EVERYBODY RUN!
(WaterCandle and Yellow244 run up to CalmStar’s dust)
Hoopla: OTHER WAY!
WaterCandle: Omg CalmStar died oh god oh crap.
Yellow244: (gasp) Who’s gonna sign my paycheck?
WaterCandle: Ok, now let’s run away. (they both skedaddle) 
Bystander: I lost my phone! And I lost my lucky fish foot!
Hoopla: That’s disgusting. You’re probably gonna die though so it won’t matter.
Bystander: Wow what a pessimist.
(The Bystander gets vaporized and a fleet of ships appears in the sky)
Hoopla: Anybody have any ideas?
Alpooh: Wait wait remember the mind control tech I made?
Hoopla: Yeah?
Alpooh: What if we break into my old lab and use it to control some of the aliens and have them crash into each other?
Hoopla: Well that’s a plan so yes.
Boopla: Waiiit a second. Has this been tested on the aliens at all?
Alpooh: As far as I know, it’s only been tested on fish. But maybe it’ll work!
(The gang breaks into Alpooh’s lab while being pursued by alien spacecraft tearing through everything)
Hoopla: Hurry!
Alpooh: Okay, we got the tech. Now let’s skedaddle!
(Right after they leave, the aliens have destroyed nearly all of the lab)
Alpooh: I better have insurance for that. Anyway, time to activate mind control!
(Alpooh turns on the device and suddenly Boopla’s eyes start to glow)
Hoopla: Hey wait. Did you seriously bug Boopla?
Alpooh: I’m sorry chaps but I intend on surviving in my bunker. 
Hoopla: You jerk! If you turn on us, it won’t matter because a FREAKING METEOR IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!
Alpooh: Yeah but I’d like to die knowing I got revenge against you.
Hoopla: So how are you gonna survive in the bunker if you want to die? Sounds like a dumb idea to me.
Alpooh: I’m not. Boopla, please show these folks to the door.
(Hoopla rips the chip off Boopla and sticks it on Alpooh)
Alpooh: Wait no!
(Hoopla grabs the control and forces Alpooh to walk up onto a hill and lay down)
Boopla: What are you doing?
Hoopla: Simple, leaving him to die.
Boopla: Wow, that’s dark.
Hoopla: So long, shrimp! (kicks him in the head which knocks the chip off him, but Hoopla doesn’t notice.)
Yellow244: Well now that my boss is dead I assume you’re our leader.
Hoopla: I was your leader to begin with.
Yellow244: Yeah sure.
Hoopla: Whatever. Guys, we have to find a way to stop these ships!
Zoopla: What if we throw rocks at THEM before they throw a big rock at us?
Hoopla: Genius. Maybe the rocks will stop the ships! HOOPLA!
Yellow244: GUYS DUCK!
Jasper: Yes?
Yellow244: No I mean jump into this ditch because there’s a laser heading towards us.
(Everybody hops into a conveniently placed ditch and dodged another vaporization ray)
Hoopla: Oh thank god we all survived. 
Yellow244: Hey wait they vaporized my arm!
(Yellow244 is literally missing an arm)
Hoopla: OH GOD!
Yellow244: The heat from the ray must have cauterized it because there’s no blood. 
Hoopla: Dude you need like a robot arm. Hold on, I’m getting a call.
Doclement: Hoopla, how’s it going?
Hoopla: Not well. I think it’s time to use those alien weapons.
Doclement: Ok. Scooter, you go down there and give it to them.
Scooter: Alright mate, hawhawhawhaw.
Hoopla: Wait, who invited this joker along?
Doclement: You did.
Hoopla: i don't remember doing that?!
Scooter: Wait, how will I get to them?
Doclement: Carl will be telling you which directions to go, it won’t take long.
Carl: Ok Scooter, you're gonna want to make a right.
Scooter: A right, right?
Carl: Right.
Scooter: Wait, am I right? I’m gonna go left.
Carl: Scooter, NO!
(Scooter turns a left and runs right into some road spikes)
Scooter: I’m not dead… yet.
Carl: Phew.
(Hoopla finds the Oobglo mothership and spots several Oobglo looking for intruders)
Hoopla: Guys, a little help here?
Scooter: Haw haw, you got it dude.
(Scooter runs right up to the mothership and starts making annoying noises)
Oobglo 1: Who is this fool?
Oobglo 2: Earthings sure are odd… let’s get him!
Boopla: Ok good, they’re distracted. (sets up laser sniper) Just gotta make sure they stay still…
(Scooter runs up a hill)
Scooter: Try to get me!
Oobglo 1 and 2: Ok! (they try jumping up) Oh right, the gravity here is different.
Boopla: And… (SHWOOM) Got em’.
Hoopla: Alright, the body guards are gone.
(Scooter runs back to Hoopla)
Scooter: But...how are you going to get on the mothership?
Hoopla: What do you mean? 
Scooter: Sure, the guards are gone, but the aliens inside the ship can still blast us.
Hoopla: Why can’t you just distract them again? Worked the first time.
Scooter: …. Fine. (he grabs his surfboard) Hoopla, before I do this, I now classify you as my friend, and no longer an annoying brat.
Hoopla: o.
Scooter: Hang 11, dudes. (runs up to the ocean, stands on a surfboard, and gets on a giant wave) This is for the future. HAWAHWAHWAHWAHW (does a gnarly triple backflip into the windows of the mothership) How’s it going, dudes?
Oobglo: WHAT THE HELL!- (is smacked by Scooter)
Scooter: (talking to self) (sigh) Been a fun ride with you guys. I did what I wanted to do, at least. Did something good. Clamety eight, mates.
(The mothership starts to crash into the ocean)
Hoopla: What’s happening?
Boopla: It seems that because Scooter hit tons of aliens with his surfboard, no one was able to control the ship, bringing it down with everyone with it.
Hoopla: But- but, that’ll mean…
Boopla: (nods head) Farewell.
(Shot of the camera facing the characters backs while the mothership is fully swallowed by the waves)
Hoopla: (trying not to cry) He was good.
Boopla: We can deal with that later. We have to focus on the battle still. There’s still a dozen ships protecting the meteor.
Hoopla: I don’t know if I can do it.
???: Don’t worry! I got it under control!
(Ships start going down into the water)
Hoopla: It’s…Alpooh!
Boopla: Aww, I was gonna say David Hasselhoff... 
Alpooh: That’s right, boys! I’m using that nifty portable spaceship to take these guys down, I’m redeeming myself!
Boopla: How did you learn all those moves?
Alpooh: Black Market.
Boopla: Black Market?! I love that place. Hey uh, I’m gonna give you something after this because of that.
Alpooh: Ok well I can’t really think about that as I’m destroying lots of spaceships here! 
(All the spaceships are destroyed)
Alpooh: Oh wait I finished wrecking them already.
Hoopla: Great! Now we can make it straight to the asteroid-
(King Oobglon steps in front)
Hoopla: Uh...HOOPLA! Do you understand that?
King Oobglon: …
Boopla: Oh (dolphin chirp)! (speeds away)
Alpooh: I guess I was wrong… 
Hoopla: Alpooh, do something, anything!
Alpooh: Uh, okay… (he picks up a rock from the ground and throws it right between King Oobglon’s eyes)
King Oobglon: (turns red)
Boopla: Did we anger him?
Alpooh: Lemme try another one. (he throws a rock at King Oobglon again, and he turns orange)
Hoopla: Come on, we don’t need to learn our colors. Spelled with a “U” because I’m British.
Alpooh: Lemme try a third one, I guess… (he throws yet another rock at the King, and he turns purple) Hmm… they skipped half of the entire color spectrum.
Hoopla: And he’s getting smaller.
King Oobglon: ↔☺┴|Û8Ó‰hB♣ÿ.◙àà╎ℸ ̣ 'ᓭ ꖎ╎ꖌᒷ.àààààààààà- (explodes into a toxic pile of goo)
Alpooh: What the fr-
Hoopla: Shh. I don’t know either.
Alpooh: Wait a minute… How are we gonna destroy the asteroid? That’s the whole reason we’re panicking.
Hoopla: Crap, I forgot about that. Hmm… I think I have an idea.
(Hoopla pulls out the gravity manipulator)
Alpooh: What is that?
Hoopla: It’s a device that makes your gravity turn 
into anti-gravity. So I’ll just float up to the asteroid. Easy.
Alpooh: Where the hell did you get that?
Hoopla: Oh, I got it from scavenging through an alien ship, you weren’t here for that.
(Hoopla presses a button on the device, and starts to float up to the asteroid)
Alpooh: Wait, you still don’t know how to destroy the asteroid! Damn it, he can’t hear me. 
(Hoopla floats up to the top of the asteroid)
Hoopla: Thankfully I have this anti-gravity bubble around me so I can breathe. Now...um, what do I do? Maybe I could like, mine it with a pickaxe...no, that won’t work. Too big to destroy with a laser. (Hoopla starts panicking) Ok, I know, I’ll just ask Doclement.
Doclement: What is it Hoopla?
Hoopla: What do I do to destroy the asteroid?
Doclement: How the hell would I know?
Hoopla: Well you're the smart guy.
Doclement: That doesn’t mean I know the answer to everything!
Hoopla: SO THEN WHAT?!
Doclement: Erm...think hard Hoopla! Go deep into your memory, try to remember anything you might have on you! Don’t give up! Think from the start to the core of your brain!
Hoopla: Core… (Hoopla pulls out the Shadow Button) I...remember!
(flashback to the end of Artificial Dumbtelligence)
Doclement: There was a small pocket of resistance, but it's no longer a problem. We have reached the core of the button. 
Hoopla: I didn't know that was possible. The core? 
Doclement: The core...of the button. 
Hoopla: The core is…
Doclement: A portal. Pressing the button while focusing on something will send you to the core of that object. By looking at the readings of this area, it looks like it’s gonna implode on itself, causing jthe button to destroy itself and making us forget this interaction.
(flash forward)
Hoopla: I can’t believe I forgot that! And since this button contains the power of the Shadow Monster, it hopefully contains enough power to destroy the entire meteor. (gulp) Well, I hope I don’t destroy the world.
Doclement: Hoopla, what are you doing?
Carl: He’s gonna press the button!
Hoopla: Focus…now!
(Hoopla presses the Shadow Button, and is sucked swiftly into the core of the asteroid, where he is surrounded by black)
Hoopla: Destroy the meteor at all costs. That’s what I want.
(The Shadow Button starts to shake and crack)
Hoopla: Yes! That’s it! We’re almost there!
(The Shadow Button breaks, and the whole place explodes, turning white. But a millisecond before the meteor imploded on itself, the soul of the shadow monster quickly escaped through a crack in the button, and injected itself into Hoopla’s veins, without him noticing)
Hoopla: AAAAA!
(Tons of small fragments fall into the ocean, while Hoopla falls from thousands of feet up)
Hoopla: OH GOD I’M GONNA DIE! AAAAAAAAA!
(Boopla quickly places pillows onto the ground)
Hoopla: AAAAAAA- Oomph! (Hoopla lands onto soft pillows) Hey, I landed without dying! Thanks Boopla.
Boopla: No problem. Now I bought those for around a thousand dollars, so just let me grab them. (he falls to the ground from exhaustion, and Hoopla soon joins him)
(A few minutes later…)
Gale Doppler: Howdy, it’s Gale Doppler here with some breaking news! The asteroid that was about to hit earth… didn’t! Instead, fragments of it fell to the ocean! (Gets hit by one) mommy… (falls on the ground)
(Hoopla and his friends are all talking to each other)
Doclement: Hm. How did you do it Hoopla? How did you get the Shadow Button to not destroy everything?
Hoopla: Oh don’t thank me, thank you.
Doclement: We weren’t thanking you?
Hoopla: Well either way, thank yourself for saving the world.
Doclement: What.
Hoopla: Oh, I forgot, you forgot about it.
Doclement: Forgot about what?
Hoopla: Forgot...about...uh...how did I destroy the asteroid again? I can’t remember…
Doclement: Maybe some things are best left unknown.
Hoopla: Yeah. Let’s just enjoy the rest of this sunny day.
(Shot of the camera behind Doclement and Hoopla, where Hoopla doesn’t seem to have a shadow)
Boopla: Hey Alpooh, I heard you used to go to the Black Market.
Alpooh: Yes I did.
Boopla: Me too. So, do you want a job from me to work at Boopla Rapping Enterprises?
Alpooh: Well since it’ll get me out of prison, sure.
Boopla: Very good. (Boopla starts to walk away, until he gets a tap on his shoulder)
Boopla: Huh?
Tony: Uh, hi, my name’s Tony, and I was wondering if I could get a job in the marketing aspect of your company.
Boopla: Oh, sure! We don’t have anyone in that department currently.
Tony: Oh, thanks!
Boopla: But uh, get rid of the glasses, they don’t allow those in Hell.
Tony: Why?
Boopla: Less talk, more hell. (They descend to Hell)
(Cut to the news setting up a camera)
Hoopla: What’s this for again?
News Person: We need to take a picture of the heroes that saved us.
Hoopla: Ugh, fine.
(Boopla and Tony come back from Hell)
Boopla: Oh cool.
Tony: I know I haven’t done anything...but can I be in the picture too?
Boopla: Eh, sure! I like you already.
(Everyone gets in position)
News Person: Ok, everyone say kelp!
Everyone: Kel-
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
News Person: Um, let’s try that again.
(A portal opens right next to Hoopla)
Hoopla: Hoopl-AAAAAAAAAAAA (the portal sucks Hoopla inside, and quickly closes)
Boopla: Huh.
(end)
==Trivia==
*This is the first episode to have five writers.
*It's a current longest episode (from 4/20/20)
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