Ebony

Ebony is a precious form of volcanic glass. Despite its rarity, a huge seam was discovered in the hills surrounding Ram Ranch. This material became so important to Team Gay that they soon abandoned all other projects for the sake of mining and hoarding it.
== Discovery ==
Shortly after his return from The Great Master Debate, Gay Robot met up with Big Mantis and Cobra for a debriefing. He was informed of a discovery made during his absence. The queer duo took him down to the musky basement of Ran Ranch where, behind sealed glass in an airtight chamber, The lone corpse of one of the then 28 US Marines was locked inside. After inquiring about what happened, Cobra pointed to a hunk of black ore lying in the center of the room. They informed him that this unknown substance was discovered in a cave nearby. The marine who found it having died of asbestos exposure immediately after sealing it away.
Gaybo loved the way it looked. Surely something so cool-looking would prove useful. He ordered everyone at the ranch to drop what they were doing and begin Operation: Big and Black. The marines would take to the labs while those hot, bronco bustin' bois would hit the mines. The cowboys would be paid very little for their work and be forced to endure long hours in hazardous mines. It was soon revealed that the hills outside Ram Ranch were not hills at all but ancient volcanoes and the metal Gaybo named "Ebony" was not actually a metal. It was a form of insanely dense glass.
Cobra informed Gaybo that, "just because it looks cool doesn't mean shit." However, Gaybo refused to listen nor did he loosen his absurd mining quotas. He was too entranced by the dark luster of the glass.
Impossible tasks and the increasing danger of asbestos being mysteriously spawned by the massive piles of ebony they accumulated were becoming unbearable for all but Gay Robot himself. Even Retard Brother's health was being affected but this revelation did not stop Gaybo from continuing the operation.
Late one night after the cowboys had finally been told to return to their beds and the marines were ordered to hand in all data collected, a terrifying discovery was made. There was a hidden aspect to Ebony. A secret that would change life at Ram Ranch and possibly the fate of the cosmos forever.