Flip The Switch

"Flip The Switch" is the Season 1 finale of Squiddie's School, and the 13th overall.
==Characters==
*Squidward Tentacles
*Patrick Star
*Eugene H. Krabs
*SpongeBob SquarePants
*Sheldon J. Plankton
*Pearl Krabs
*Bubble Bass
*CrazySponge
*Matchy
*Gary the Snail
*Larry the Lobster
*Sandy Cheeks
*Poppy Puff
==Synopsis==
When Squidward finds out that he's losing students to Mrs. Puff's Boating School, he challenges Mrs. Puff to switch jobs for a day. However, Squidward learns that driving instruction is harder than he thought.
==Transcript==
[episode begins with SpongeBob driving a boat with Squidward in the passenger seat, SpongeBob drives out of control while Squidward tries to grab the wheel from him]
Squidward: SpongeBob, stop the boat!
SpongeBob: I don’t know how! [boat continues to go full speed]
Squidward: Just take your foot off the ped- AHHH! [shows them about to hit a wall]
[record scratch, freeze frame, Squidward starts talking]
Squidward: Yup. That’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. [silence] Huh? You’re not? Well too bad, that’s what the episode is about, so I have to tell you. Well, it all started on a perfectly normal day of art school. 
[cuts to Squidward before the school day, preparing to open the classroom]
Squidward: Ah, another day, another chance to teach these idiots about fine culture. Just need to put everything together… [shows him cleaning the paint brushes] And we’re good! Now for the worst part of the day, letting the damn fools in. [Squidward opens the door] Greetings, peas- huh? 
Patrick: What? Not wanting to resort to the BDSM terms, Squiddy cakes?
Squidward: Okay, first of all, never call me that ever again. Second, why have only a few people shown up? [zooms out to show that about half the class has shown up] Not even Gary came!
[cuts to SpongeBob’s pineapple where Gary is shown to be sleeping on the couch, minding his own business]
Gary: [snoring] Meow meow meow meow… [snoring] Meow meow meow meow…
[cuts back to the school]
Eugene: Well, you could just let us leave.
Squidward: No, no! I’ve already spent my precious time preparing everything to perfection. Come in. 
[the class sighs as they head inside, cuts to Squidward trying to teach]
Squidward: So, can anyone tell me what acrylic paint is best for? [Sheldon raises his head] Yes, Sheldon?
Sheldon: As lube?
Eugene: Bad answer. [crushes him]
Squidward: You people are stupid. 
Bubble Bass: WRONG! I won the Superhero Challenge on the Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy Wiki. No superfan is as super as I am.
Squidward: I meant when it comes to art, Bubble Bass.
Bubble Bass: It is art!
Squidward: Jesus… could this day get ANY worse? [shows a crash in the wall by a boat, launching debris and everyone in the class falls onto the ground. We see Poppy and Pearl in the boat]
Pearl: Oops. Looks like my daddy’s gotta pay for the expenses!
Eugene: [gets up, brushing the debris off] Oh no you don’t, I’ve exploited my employees hard for my profits!
Poppy: Pearl, you are falling incredibly behind! Throughout all my years of teaching, I've never seen anyone act the way you do. I've never seen teenagers act this way. So immature, so silly!
Pearl: But Mrs. Puff! What about SpongeBob?
Poppy: Don’t speak that name of evil in my presence.
Squidward: What the? [gets up, walking over to Poppy with an angry expression] YOU! Why did you recklessly drive into my building like this? [school manager walks out]
Manager: You mean MY building, Tentacles. [turns to Poppy] You better watch your students, teach. You know how much semen I’ve expelled in here?
Matchy: [showing up in the backseat] Yeah, me too!
Poppy: You’ve gotta be patient when it comes to teaching students how to drive. You can’t just go willy nilly, you know.
Squidward: Well I’m sure I can, and I’d be far better than you as well.
Poppy: Oh yeah, really? Let’s test that out. Squidward, we’ll switch jobs for a day. You can fill in for my boating school duties, and I’ll fill in for your art school duties. We’ll see who’s better.
Squidward: Deal’s on. [they both shake their hands] You’ll never survive the antics of these six morons.
Poppy: Likewise, buddy. Now vamoose, this is my turf now.
[cuts to Mrs. Puff’s Boating School, where we see Squidward sitting at the teachers’ desk]
Squidward: Ahh… that Poppy Puff will never match up to my talents. Now time to hold down the fort. Who do we have here?
SpongeBob: [opens door] Squidward! 
Squidward: AHHH!!! NO! I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU WEREN’T AT ART SCHOOL!
SpongeBob: We all were gone. [shows Pearl, Matchy, CrazySponge, and Larry all walking in and taking seats] I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready for my license!
Squidward: And I’m ready to go beat the living shit out of myself. But anyway, let’s get out to the course. I wanna see your skills. [mumbling] I guess.
[cuts to the course as Squidward gets in the boat with SpongeBob]
Squidward: Okay, since I want to save my miseries for later, I’ll be testing you all first, SpongeBob last. [SpongeBob shrugs and walks away, Squidward turns to Pearl] Alright, Pearl, so let’s go over the parts of a boat first.
Pearl: Pffft, the oral exam. I’m great at those.
Squidward: Alright, prove it. [goes onto the clipboard, but Pearl starts to bend down to Squidward’s crotch] NO! NOT LIKE THAT! [pushes her off] Your dad will kill me, you know. I should send you back to the streets.
Pearl: Oops, sorry.
Squidward: Anyway, what’s the front side of the boat?
Pearl: The bow. Like how I bow down to give head.
Squidward: CEASE THE SEXUAL DEGENERACY IMMEDIATELY! Anyway, next question: what’s the left side?
Pearl: The port. Like the port that goes into my juul.
Squidward: [facepalms in disappointment] Alright fine, let’s move on the driving portion. Just start the boat and go, I already can’t stand this.
Pearl: If you say so. [puts her foot on the pedal, as Squidward starts to droop down in his passenger seat. He covers his eyes in fear, and starts to ache while Pearl slowly drives around the first turn. He starts to hold onto his legs]
Squidward: Please…
Pearl: Please what? Look. [Squidward looks up to see that Pearl already finished the course]
Squidward: Phew. Well that was anticlimactic. [gets out of boat] Alright Pearl, you passed. 
Pearl: Yay! Time to run over my dad so I can take his money. [takes her license and heads off]
Squidward: Hell yeah, I passed a student that Puff couldn’t. This is the easiest gig ever.
[cuts to the art school, where Poppy is teaching the class]
Poppy: Now, class, to begin the day, I shall be reading an excerpt from today’s newspaper. [flips the page] Hm, a new outbreak of COVID-19 in Rock Bottom. They’re falling incredibly behind!
Sandy: What does that have to do with art?
Patrick: [giggles] You’re a piece of art, Sandy, and I’d like to paint all over you.
Poppy: Patrick, please stop with these very strange, very unusual remarks.
Patrick: My penis is currently in a very strange, very unusual state, you know.
Poppy: [puts paper down] Patrick! Please keep such details to yourself. This is a learning environment. Such proclamations are highly unprofessional. [gets up from desk] Alright, enough of that. Now I’m gonna teach you all how to play table tennis.
Sheldon: Table tennis? I’m here to learn how to paint a picture for Karen so she can nag about how bad it is.
Bubble Bass: Yeah, why table tennis when we can play with Mermaid Man action figures?
Poppy: There’s no coasting in table tennis. It’s serve, play, defense, strategy...there’s no place to hide.
Patrick: Well I say fuck your strategy.
Poppy: [puts down racket] Why don’t you stop using your tongue in such an impulsive manner?
Sandy: Mrs. Puff, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re worse than Squidward.
[Poppy starts to sweat as it cuts back to Squidward at boating school, giving out licenses]
Squidward: Matchy, we can settle our differences now. Here’s your license. [hands it over]
Matchy: Oh HELL yeah! [sticks license in pants and starts rubbing it against her member] AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
Squidward: MATCHY! [takes license back] Your license is revoked.
Matchy: Eh, it was worth it. [CrazySponge walks up]
Squidward: CrazySponge, you certainly surprised me out there. You drive well for an 11 year old. [hands license over]
CrazySponge: HOOPLA! [runs away]
Squidward: Ah, Squiddy boy, you’ve outdone yourself. Everyone graduated under you. 
SpongeBob: Well, everyone except for me. [Squidward turns around, screaming at his realization]
Squidward: SpongeBob?! [gulps] I forgot. Come… come here, I guess.
[cuts to the boat, both of them buckle up]
Squidward: Okay, SpongeBob, take it slow. Don’t floor it.
SpongeBob: Floor it?
Squidward: No!
SpongeBob: FLOORING IT! [presses the pedal as the boat takes off, becomes difficult to control]
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing?
SpongeBob: I don’t know, Squidward, I don’t know! I can’t handle this pressure!
[shows the boat spinning out of control on the course, hitting several cones and markers as the speed starts to go out of control. Squidward closes his eyes for a second in fear before trying to grab the wheel from him]
Squidward: SpongeBob, stop the boat!
SpongeBob: I don’t know how! [boat continues to go full speed]
Squidward: Just take your foot off the ped- AHHH! [they crash into the barrier wall, completely ruining the boat as they fall out trying to catch their breath]
SpongeBob: Goddamnit, I guess I just can’t drive.
Squidward: You think?
SpongeBob: Well, at least no one got hurt. [cuts to CrazySponge crushed between the wall and the boat, with his license sticking out from his hand] 
CrazySponge: o [dies]
SpongeBob and Squidward: OMG CRAZYSPONGE DIED OH GOD OH FUCK!
Squidward: Welp, time to go admit defeat to Poppy. There’s no way she could screw up teaching an art class.
[cuts to the art students chatting during class while Poppy is trying to teach them about table tennis]
Poppy: That’s enough! [angry expression] Throughout all my years of teaching, I’ve never seen anyone act the way you do. I've never seen teenagers act this way. So immature, so silly!
Eugene: But we’re not-
Poppy: You all are falling incredibly behind! You know, your habits continue with you throughout your lifetime. They don't just go away because you get older.
Sheldon: We liked Squidward better. He didn’t try to talk in mahoosive words like you do.
Poppy: THAT’S IT! I'm going to submit my resignation. I've had enough of your shenanigans. Your very strange, very unusual shenanigans. Goodbye! [walks out of the door as Squidward stops her]
Squidward: Mrs. Puff, I was wro-
Poppy: TAKE YOUR STUDENTS BACK! It’s very strange, very unusual. They can't act like this. It's unbelievable. It's almost the end of their semester and they’re acting like this! I mean, wow. Unbelievable! I have never seen art school students act this way before. Such behavior! I mean, goofing around all the time. It's very strange, very unusual behavior. [storms off, as Squidward watches her. A couple cops stop her]
Cop: Freeze, ma’am. You’re under arrest.
Poppy: For what?
Cop: Ma’am, we found a young lad dead at your boating school. We can only assume that you waived your responsibility of your students, and thus, you have violated the law. [puts her in handcuffs and puts her in the car, driving off]
Poppy: Well, it’s the end of the road for me.
[cuts back to art school]
Squidward: Aha! I won! In your face, Puff!
SpongeBob: Look, Squidward, I’m sorry that I-
Squidward: Pfft, I don’t even care. All I care is that I WON!
Patrick: Show off. [turns to Sandy] Now show me those goodies!
Sandy: No, no, that would be highly unprofessional. [covers her mouth] Uh oh, she rubbed off on me.
Patrick: Just like how-
Squidward: Okay, I don’t even know why you’re all still here. Just leave, class dismissed. [class walks off as he slams the door behind him] Ahh… I’ve still got it. [chuckles as the episode ends]
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