Heartbreak Hotel

Heartbreak Hotel is the sixth episode of Total Drama: Resurrection.
== Synopsis ==
The remaining twenty contestants must act out a play penned by none other than the host, Chris McLean.
== Script ==
=== Intro - Recap ===
Setting: Pahkitew Island, the Dock, dawn
Blaineley:
Previously on Total Drama: Resurrection…
Chris:
The remaining contestants hunted each other down in the forest following Jasmine and Shawn officially ending their bland relationship. Scott tried to get Amy into a relationship, but soon felt harsh rejection while Topher managed to butt his way into an alliance with Jasmine and Shawn. While Alejandro and Heather got into an argument, Sadie’s determination led her to power through the challenge with impressive aplomb. 
Blaineley:
In the end, as Sadie accidentally sent DJ plummeting to impending doom over the cliff, Shawn beat Rodney and won the challenge for the Vicious Vipers. Despite being voted off, Sadie was granted another chance as DJ had to be removed from the game.
Chris:
Will Amy execute Sadie? 
Blaineley:
Will Topher out his alliance?
Chris:
Will Amy and Samey finally clear the air?
Blaineley:
Find out the answers to these questions and more, coming up on…
Chris:
TOTAL!
DRAMA!
RESURRECTION!
The theme song plays.
=== Act One - The Forest ===
Setting: Pahkitew Island, the Forest, dawn
Immediately following the departure of DJ in the previous episode, the teams break to go back to their cabins to attempt to catch some sleep before Chris has them do some asinine challenge today. However, Heather grabs Topher, and pulls him into the forest.
Topher:
Oh, come on, Heather. I need my beauty sleep!
Heather (attempted flattery, through her teeth):
With your naturally gorgeous skin tone and immaculate physical shape? Clearly you must meticulously take care of yourself. Like a god.
Topher (charmed):
Well, if you cleared up some of your blackheads, you’d look… good.
Heather:
I’ll tell you what. If you help me with something, I’ll let you take care of my skin.
Topher (invested):
Okay I’m in. I’m so honored to be the one to finally show you a spa day.
Heather:
Oh, I’m so looking forward to it. 
Guiding Topher to the forest to locate the specific tree that she saw the shadow object in, Heather leads him. Eventually finding the familiar area, she looked around for the tree.
Topher:
What are you looking for?
Heather:
There’s something of mine that belongs to me that got lost in the forest and got stuck in the trees around here. It’s too high up to get it myself.
Topher:
Why wouldn’t you, like, get Shawn or Jasmine to get it for you? They’d have an easier time identifying what you lost.
Heather:
Simple, I don’t trust them to help me. You’re the perfect help.
Topher:
I am? I mean, of course I am!
Heather:
A-ha!
Heather kept looking around a bit and then located the object in a tree. Pushing Topher towards the correct tree, she thinks of a plan to reach it.
Topher:
Ow, watch the hair! Did you find it?
Heather:
I found it, but I can’t reach it. It’s too high up. 
Topher:
So what should we do?
Heather:
Let me climb on your shoulders and you can give me a height boost.
Topher reluctantly gives Heather a boost up with his hands and carries her on his shoulders. With the extra height added by Topher’s tall frame, Heather is able to grab the object and jump down off of Topher. Topher, disgusted, wipes the dirt and mud from her shoe that transferred onto his hands onto her shirt.
Cut to a small confessional block.
Heather (proudly displaying the McLean Brand Immunity Statue):
It belonged to me ten years ago and it belongs to me now. Using Topher was a part of the plan all along. Knowing that he’s an airhead, he would never be smart enough to steal it from me, which is why I wouldn’t dream of asking Jasmine or Shawn to get it. On top of that, his love of gossip would pair with his intelligence and my flattery, and he’d spill the beans that the immunity statue was found, but wouldn’t dare to out me as the one to have found it out of loyalty. Also if he would decide to betray me, nobody would believe him. He’s my insurance policy to the end.
Topher (brushing his hair):
Heather had me help her find some object she lost that looked like the immunity statue, of all things. I can’t believe that she’d have lost something so important. Hey, wait a minute! She tricked me!
The camera cuts to a view of the cabins as hours pass and the sun has officially risen and the sky is bright blue with birds tweeting and flying and clouds dancing through the sky. Another morning comes as Dawn, Samey, Shawn, and Jasmine leave their cabins and proceed to go foraging for berries to have for breakfast in the forest. Jasmine is giving Samey the cold shoulder after the previous night’s events, but Dawn keeps nudging Samey to be persistent.
Dawn:
Come on Samey, you know you want to say something.
Samey:
There’s no point, she won’t talk to me. I guess I’ll just have to cope with having lost my closest friend and the person I considered to be real family.
Shawn:
I can try to butter her up. 
Samey:
It’s not an easy task.
Shawn:
Oh, I remember that all too well.
Dawn:
Have some faith in Shawn, Samantha. Your friendship will be restored eventually. Everything comes in time.
Samey:
I believe in him.
Dawn and Samey began picking berries as Jasmine kept distance between her and Samey, with Shawn trying to talk her down.
Jasmine:
Save your breath, Shawn.
Shawn:
Come on, Jas. You know that she didn’t really do anything wrong. She just did that challenge. You would have done the same.
Jasmine:
It was the challenge, sure, but there’s a friendship code that you don’t betray. She went behind my back while claiming to be my friend. She plays innocent and sweet, but she has a nasty bite when she puts it to use. I never expected her to turn on me.
Shawn:
That’s fair, but it was the challenge. If she didn’t do it, somebody else would have, to either of us. You would’ve done it to her if you could’ve. 
Jasmine:
That’s not the point. It was that she was quick to turn the gun on me. She betrayed me.
Shawn:
But would you shoot her if you had the opportunity?
Jasmine:
I suppose I’d have to. 
Shawn:
Do you think you can find it in your heart to forgive her? Especially since you do know that you would have no issue with having to shoot her.
Jasmine:
I suppose, I just don’t know if I can do it right now. I feel so angry and betrayed. Does that make me a hypocrite?
Shawn:
Well, a little, but that’s how you’re feeling. You’re entitled to feel that way. Take your time and do things at your own pace. I know that you’ll make the right decision when it comes time for you to make it. Your heart is bigger than you care to admit, Jas.
The four walk back to the cabins to join with their teams for their daily breakfast of berries. There is tension between the Raccoons from DJ’s departure the night before. Amy and Sadie glaring at each other as the entirety of the contestants can feel the tension. Lindsay tries to relieve the incredibly thick tension.
Lindsay:
So, uh, Amy, how do you feel since DJ was your close friend?
Amy:
I feel… shocked, crushed, and sad that he’s gone, and I’m angry that he had to be removed because of that cow sitting next to my clone.
Sadie:
It was an accident! He understood that and forgave me!
Amy:
Well, I’m not him, and I don’t forgive you. Watch your back.
Gwen:
Amy, it was a freak accident, she isn’t really at fault. Should she have been more careful? Yeah, sure, but DJ was standing on the edge of the cliff.
Heather:
I disagree. I think Sadie has a plot to get ahead. While pretending to be innocent, she took charge and took out a teammate who was a serious contender for the win. I think she’s a clever girl, and I applaud her use of impressive strategy. Nice work, Sadie!
Sadie (starting to cry):
It was an accident! The plan was to take out Courtney and win! There was no strategy involved, it was an accident! 
Amy:
Quit your blubbering, you’ve made your bed.
Heather:
Crying, nice touch. Makes you look remorseful to the cameras.
Jasmine:
Moving on, Heather, did you really think of DJ as serious competition? Like, seriously?
Heather:
Absolutely, without a doubt. He could easily win.
Eva:
While I’m, and everybody else, is fond of DJ, he was by no means a threat to the prize. Like, at all.
Heather:
Would you say that in the face of a jury?
Eva:
Probably not, but that still doesn’t stop you from acting like an ass.
Courtney:
For ten years, it hasn’t stopped her.
Amy:
You’re right there in the boat with her.
Gwen:
The difference is that Courtney is a good person.
Courtney:
Normally, I’d appreciate the sentiment, but you can choke. Don’t even breathe in my direction. Keep your mouth-breath away from me, gremlin.
Heather:
Hey, far be it from me to stop you from shilling out to someone who clearly doesn’t like you, but I feel like I need boots to get out of the deep s[censor noise] every single time you speak about Courtney. Honestly, it’s time to cut it out and move on.
Gwen:
Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?
Heather:
You forget yourself. Nobody really likes you that much, either.
Topher:
Ooh! The tea is being served today!
Shawn:
Oh god, please stop talking. For five minutes, please.
Samey:
Well, this was fun. I think we should just break and go our separate ways until the challenge starts.
Courtney:
Oh, now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us.
Amy:
What the hell does that mean?
Courtney:
Figure it out.
After their breakfast had pretty much been ended following the brewing arguments, the teams broke up, and from there, split into groups. Amy, Eva, Lindsay, Rodney, and Tyler went one way. Lightning, Sadie, and Sadie went one way. Dawn disappeared into the forest. Alejandro, Heather, and Zoey went one way. Anne Maria, Dave, Jasmine, Shawn, and Topher went one way. Courtney and Scott went one way. Gwen grabbed her sketchbook and walked into the forest, the camera following her as she sat under a tree and began drawing. Dawn materialized beside her, grinding up leaves and placing them in a pot over a controlled fire. 
Dawn:
You feel conflicted.
Gwen:
Excuse me? Where did you-
Dawn:
You agreed to the season to finally make amends with Courtney.
Gwen:
How do you know-
Not answering the question, Dawn hands Gwen a small cut and pours tea into it from her pot. She then pours herself one.
Dawn:
Your aura says a lot about you.
Gwen:
My aura? Is this tea?
Dawn:
Tea soothes a troubled spirit.
Gwen:
I never pegged you as someone to drink tea. Honestly, I don’t imagine you eating. I think you just photosynthesize or something. 
Dawn:
Nature provides. Tea itself is amazing. Mother nature provides these beautiful leaves meant for you to boil them and after you drink it, you plant them and they can bloom again and carry on their cycle.
Gwen:
That’s really beautiful. 
Dawn:
And berries are the same. If you replant the seeds, a new growth will rise and prosper after the original is long gone.
Gwen:
So it’s like nature has a will to always thrive.
Dawn:
That’s the short way of putting it, yes.
Gwen:
And how does this relate to me?
Dawn:
Think of it like this. You picked Courtney’s leaves, boiled her, and tossed her out. She’s now grown past that, and while you feel remorse for what you’ve done, you wish to pick another leaf and repeat the cycle for your memories. 
Gwen:
Is there hope for our relationship to be rebuilt?
Dawn:
There is always a ray of hope, but this one is getting eclipsed. The time to act is now, before it’s too late. The sun is setting on that chapter, and you need to make amends to start finally fixing what has been broken and damaged between you two.
Gwen:
Wow, thanks for yo-
Without a sound, Dawn had disappeared as the camera then panned to Lightning, Sadie, and Samey sitting at the campsite. Sadie is still crying as Samey consoles her, she sends Lightning to get something and he walks off.
Sadie:
It was an accident, I didn’t injure him on purpose.
Samey:
I know, Sadie, I know. Amy is just a little… difficult. DJ was her first real friend, well, ever, and she’s just having a hard time coping with that loss.
Sadie:
And your friendship with Jasmine, I ruined that, too!
Samey:
Oh, it’s okay. Jasmine gets very in her head about what she deems is betrayal. It’s happened with Shawn before, she’ll get over it eventually. 
Sadie:
All I wanted to do is come back and show that I have the drive to go all the way. I wanted to be a challenge threat, a key player.
Samey:
You’re doing fine, Sadie. It’s a competition, we all want to win. It’s okay.
The two hug and Samey wipes tears from Sadie’s eyes as an alarm went over the loud speaker followed by a familiar voice.
Blaineley:
Attention contestants, you are to meet at the newly built filming studio lot by the beach immediately!
Chef (grumbling):
I don’t get paid enough for this s[censor noise]
Grunts and groans over the island as the camera pans up and then to the film lot.
=== Act Two - The Film Lot ===
Setting: Pahkitew Island, new film lot, afternoon
The contestants observe the newly acquired film lot, and Topher and Lindsay immediately get excited. There are four exquisitely detailed and decorated sets of a hotel lobby, kitchen, dining room, and a bedroom with a closet. Chris, Blaineley, and Chef walk out from behind the big desk situated in the lobby set. 
Chris:
Welcome, actors, to your next challenge!
Eva and Shawn:
Oh no.
Lindsay and Topher:
Oh yay!
Blaineley:
Today you will be acting out a play!
Chris:
Written by Broadway’s newest, brightest upcoming star… me!
Courtney:
Ego stroking, much?
Chris:
Competing in my show, much?
Courtney:
Okay, you win this round.
Chef:
Get on with it!
Chris:
There are seven juicy roles up for grabs. The over-the-top eccentric hotel owner Sybil, the overworked chef Eliza, the jack-of-all-trades assistant loyal to the owner Siobhan, the no-nonsense hotel manager Coleen, and three speaking hotel guests.
Amy:
What do the rest of us do?
Courtney:
And only seven roles? Between the twenty of us?
Chris:
I’m glad you brought that up, Courtney. Both teams will be performing as the same characters. Raccoons will take one scene, and the Vipers take the next, so on and so forth. Those of you who do not land a speaking role will be non-speaking hotel guests. Now here are your scripts, read through them and decide your parts. 
Samey (reading through):
Uh, Chris, I don’t want to critique your work, but none of the speaking hotel guests have lines or blocking.
Chris:
That is correct. The three speaking hotel guest roles are all improv. You will be creating the characters yourself, from the ground up. As for everyone playing a non-speaking part, as the Raccoons do not have enough contestants, you all will have to play for both teams.
Heather:
Wait a minute, because those losers keep failing, we have to help them out?
Chris:
That is what I just said, yes.
Courtney:
Well, what if we were to sabotage them?
Shawn:
You’re really going to look at the egomaniacal man hosting this competition that you’re competing in, that wrote the challenge that we’re about to do, that you’re going to sabotage his work?
Courtney:
Yeah, so?
Shawn:
I hope that you’re ready to pack your garbage up.
Chris:
Exactly. You ruin my work, and you will pay the price for it!
Topher:
This is going to be so fun!
After a while, the teams have read through the script and have to decide what characters they will be playing. Courtney and Topher are standing in each other’s faces, having an argument. 
Courtney:
Obviously, I should be the hotel owner! She is the lead role!
Topher:
It is the lead role, which is exactly why I will be playing her!
Courtney:
You don’t have a prayer of succeeding in this part!
Topher:
I’ve been getting lead roles since Donald put me in acting classes since birth! You don’t have my qualifications! You aren’t of my class. 
Courtney:
The role is female, you are not!
Topher:
Gender-blind productions aren’t uncommon, bigot!
Courtney:
In what ways are you more qualified for this part than me?
Topher:
Seventeen years of vocal training, sixteen years of dance training, eighteen years of acting class, ten years of on-camera poise classes, countless iconic television and film roles, you name it!
Shawn (rolling his eyes):
Don’t forget your Onlystans performances.
Topher:
Those too!
Jasmine:
Just give it up, Courtney. He’s just gonna end up getting the role anyway.
Courtney (sitting down, defeated and angry):
Fine, but I’m taking the role of manager, it’s the second biggest part.
Topher (mockingly):
But it isn’t the lead.
Courtney:
Shut up!
Heather:
I’ll play the chef. I know about being overworked with you people.
Gwen:
If nobody has a problem, I’ll play a speaking guest.
Anne Maria:
I’m great at improv, so I'll be a guest.
Shawn:
I guess I’ll bite and be a guest, since everybody else is silent right now.
Topher:
Well, we still have one more character, the assistant. Somebody has to have it. Alejandro? Twink? Jasmine? Stinky? Red?
Jasmine:
Oh, alright. I’ll guess I’ll take one for the team and play your assistant. How bad can it be?
The Vipers read through the script as the camera pans to the Raccoons still picking their parts.
Lindsay:
Well, I want the owner!
Eva:
You can have it.
Amy:
I’ll be the manager.
Sadie:
I’ll be the assistant!
Lindsay:
Oh, yay! Fun!
Lindsay and Sadie:
EEEEEEEEE!!
Samey:
I-I guess I’ll play the chef.
Amy:
Now we just need our three speaking guests. Eva, come on.
Eva:
Amy, I don’t know anything about acting, especially improv. 
Amy:
You’re just making it up, you can literally play yourself.
Eva:
Okay, okay, fine. I’ll do it.
Rodney:
Amy, I’ll do it without being asked.
Amy:
Good to know? Anyone else?
Dawn:
Well, I have to admit that this seems like fun. I shall participate.
With all the parts now selected, the teams read over and attempt to memorize their scenes of the script until it is time to present them.
Chris:
Books down, my test subjects!
Cut to a confessional block. 
Topher:
Oh of course I got the lead role, but are you surprised?
Courtney:
I can’t believe that I lost the lead to that pass around party bottom toxic tart.
Anne Maria:
That was kinda heated. I almost got up and smacked the uptight out of Courtney’s mouth for talking to Topher like that.
Heather:
That was a small thrill. Maybe Courtney and Topher can destroy and take each other out, as I move closer to my rightful prize.
Sadie:
With as dynamic as our team is, I have no doubt we can win this challenge. I’m just a little concerned with Lindsay. She flubbed all the practices. 
Amy:
I hate to admit it, but Sadie is honestly really funny when she pretends to be someone else. Lindsay and my clone did absolutely terrible in our read throughs. 
Samey:
Maybe we should’ve had a second thought about giving Lindsay the lead…
Lindsay:
There wasn’t an eye not on me as we read through the script! I did so good! I’m going to nail this challenge, how fun!
Shawn:
With Jasmine’s claustrophobia, I know that there’s going to be a scene here she’s going to struggle with, if she even read that far in yet. I hope I can talk her through it, or hopefully Topher. Oh no…
Cut to the teams standing in front of Chris, Topher now somehow has a wig in the exact same cut, style, and color as Lindsay’s on his head, he looks upset with the actors on his team. 
Topher:
Seriously? Nobody thought to get into character? What about continuity?
Shawn:
We all look vastly different from each other, the continuity isn’t going to matter.
Gwen:
Where did you even get a wig to look exactly like Lindsay’s hair anyway?
Topher:
I brought it! A professional preps for absolutely everything!
Gwen:
I really doubt that you need it.
Topher:
It’s already glued down and set. I’m not taking it off.
Courtney:
You look ridiculous.
Topher:
I look committed. 
Courtney:
You look like you should be committed. 
Topher:
If that’s some criticism of me, I won’t hear it, and I won’t respond to it.
Anne Maria:
Get her, baby!
Courtney:
It’s like you two are sharing a brain cell.
Chris:
Alright, up first is the Ravenous Raccoons filming scene one. Places!
The Raccoons take their places in the lobby set. Lindsay as Sybil and Amy as Coleen are behind the desk while Sadie as Siobhan is talking on the phone, filling out a reservation book and Samey as Eliza is telling the kitchen menu of the day to Tyler, playing a non-speaking guest.
Sadie/Siobhan:
So that is one room for you, Ms. Peignoir?
Dawn/Peignoir (over the phone with a French accent):
Yes, that will be all, thank you. I shall be there in a few moments.
Sadie/Siobhan:
Quite right, collect your key from the front desk. We thank you for choosing Hotel Heart!
Lindsay/Sybil:
Siobhan, if you’d kindly get off the phone for five minutes, Kathryn in room six has been awaiting her breakfast for three hours!
Sadie/Siobhan:
Right, I’m on it, Ms. Heart!
Sadie speedily walks through a door to the dining room set, grabs a plate with a serving tray on top and walks up the stairs to the second floor. Walking to room number six, she then knocks on the door.
Eva/Kathryn (in her same voice):
Who is it?
Sadie/Siobhan:
It’s Siobhan, dear. I’ve come with your breakfast!
Eva opens the door and Sadie enters. Sadie places the serving tray down and the focus goes back to Lindsay and Amy at the front desk.
Amy/Coleen:
Did you hang the picture, Sybil?
Lindsay/Sybil:
Not yet, Col. I’m awfully busy trying to run my hotel!
Amy/Coleen:
I didn’t commission that picture from Mrs. Moonpence for it to be sitting on the floor, Sybil. Put it up.
Lindsay/Sybil:
My feet have wings, love.
Amy walks through a door to the employee lounge as Lindsay walks from behind a desk to a wall with a large picture of what can be assumed as the outside of Hotel Heart sitting on the floor, she picks it up and grabs a nail as Dawn enters the lobby and rings the bell on the desk. Lindsay, playing as annoyed, slams the picture back down on the floor and stomps back to behind the desk.
Dawn/Peignoir:
Hello. Yes, I called earlier and talked to one Siobhan Sherman. You have a room for me.
Lindsay/Sybil:
Excuse me?
Dawn/Peignoir:
Prunelle Peignoir. You have a room for me.
Lindsay/Sybil:
Have you booked?
Dawn/Peignoir:
What kind of chuckle factory of incompetence is this? I shall take my money elsewhere!
Lindsay/Sybil:
If you haven’t booked, we can’t accommodate you.
Amy returns from the employee lounge. glaring at Lindsay in character, and handing a key to Dawn.
Amy/Coleen:
Sybil! Room twelve, up the stairs, end of the hall, dear.
Dawn/Peignoir:
Thank you. I entrust that my things will be delivered to me?
Amy/Coleen:
But of course, love. Sybil will bring your bags up to you.
Lindsay/Sybil:
I will?
Amy/Coleen:
Sybil!
Lindsay/Sybil:
Oh, but of course I will! Don’t want you to break a finger nail, you cuddly nest of vipers, you.
Rodney enters, Zoey on his arm. As Lindsay starts to carry Dawn’s bags up the stairs, Rodney rings the bell. In character, an increasingly frustrated Lindsay throws the bags up the stairs and storms back to the desk.
Lindsay/Sybil (furious):
Right, then! What is it?
Rodney/Fawlty (clearly struggling):
I- Uh… We-… I-I… Well, we’d like a room please?
Lindsay/Sybil:
What? You’d like a room? Well have you booked?
Rodney/Fawlty:
W-well, n-no, but-
Lindsay/Sybil:
But nothing. No booking, no room. Sorry, I must ask you to leave.
Rodney/Fawlty:
B-but I have cash!
Lindsay/Sybil:
Well you have ca- Oh, you have cash! Why didn’t you say so? Let’s get you a double room for you and your lovely wife here.
Rodney/Fawlty:
Oh, she’s not my wife, she’s my girlfriend.
Lindsay/Sybil:
Oh I see, so two single rooms, then.
Rodney/Fawlty:
I suppose that’s fine. Two single rooms side by side.
Lindsay/Sybil:
Oh, I’m sorry. All that’s available is one single room on the second floor and one on the fifth. That’s all we have.
Rodney/Fawlty:
I suppose that we’ll have to go elsewhere, then.
Amy reappears from the employee lounge again, stopping the guests from leaving.
Amy/Coleen:
Why, what’s going on here? What’s the rush?
Rodney/Fawlty:
Your desk lady said you have no room available for us. 
Lindsay/Sybil:
Desk lady? I am the owner of Hotel Heart! I am Sybil Heart!
Amy/Coleen:
Sybil! Come, my dears, let’s get you sorted out.
Lindsay/Sybil (under her breath):
They’re not married, Col.
Amy/Coleen:
I don’t care, Sybil! Here is your key Mr. Fawlty. Room sixteen, third floor. Sybil, take their bags.
Rodney/Fawlty:
Quite right. 
Rodney and Zoey walk up the stairs as Lindsay grabs their bags. Samey walks out of the kitchen.
Samey/Eliza:
Ms. Heart! Ms. Cleese wants you to hang that picture!
Lindsay/Sybil:
Right! Let’s just take care of that then, shall we?!
In character, a frustrated Lindsay as Sybil throws the suitcases at Samey and then picks up the picture, and throws it on the floor, smashing the frame off the floor, then jumping up and down on the picture itself.
Samey/Eliza:
Ms. Heart!
Lindsay/Sybil:
Well that takes care of that, doesn’t it, then?!
Amy/Coleen:
Sybil?!
Amy as Sybil grabs a large black closed umbrella and strikes Lindsay as Sybil until Chris starts applauding.
Lindsay:
And, scene!
Chris:
Alright Raccoons, despite a rough start, you got there in the end. Okay, Vipers. Your turn! On the set, now!
The Raccoons and Vipers trade places. Topher is Sybil, Courtney is Coleen, Jasmine is Siobhan, Heather is Eliza, Gwen is Prunella Peignoir, Anne Maria is Kathryn, Shawn is Mr. Fawlty, and Zoey is his non-speaking girlfriend. Topher as Sybil is creeping around the hotel lobby, looking for somebody. As non-speaking guests, Dave and Alejandro walk past Topher, miming conversation.
Topher/Sybil:
Siobhan! Siobhan! Get moving! I need your assistance! Excuse me, I’m walking here!
In character, Topher impatiently rings the bell on the front desk whilst calling for Siobhan.
Jasmine/Siobhan:
Yes, Ms. Heart?
Topher/Sybil:
Siobhan! An unmarried couple is sharing a room in room sixteen!
Jasmine/Siobhan:
So? What’s the issue?
Topher/Sybil:
Have these people no decency? No scruples? What has this world come to?
Courtney/Coleen:
Sybil, don’t you dare bother those nice people!
Topher/Sybil:
Wouldn’t dream of it, Col. Not at all.
Courtney/Coleen:
I mean it, Sybil. Don’t you dare!
Anne Maria/Kathryn (as Eva):
Oh, Ms. Heart, there you are.
Topher/Sybil:
Ah, Kathryn, yes. How might I be of service, madame?
Anne Maria/Kathryn:
Ms. Heart, I was hoping that I caught you. Would you happen to have any razors that could be sent up to my room? It seems that I have forgotten mine and it’s been an awfully long time since I’ve shaved my back.
Eva (from the audience, angry):
Excuse your mouth?!
Topher/Sybil:
Rest assured, Kathryn, getting you a razor for your back jungle is of our utmost importance. You can go right up to your room and Siobhan will deliver you a nice, fresh razor. Siobhan!
Jasmine/Siobhan (under her breath):
I heard you, I heard you! Why don’t I just powder your ass, too?
Topher/Sybil:
Siobhan! Before you go… About the unmarried couple in room sixteen…
Jasmine/Siobhan:
Well, what’s your plan to ruin their stay?
Topher/Sybil:
They’re going out on a date in an hour. While they’re gone, we enter the room for some housekeeping and clean out their filth!
Jasmine/Siobhan:
That is… absolutely insane.
Topher/Sybil:
So what? You’re not going to help?
Jasmine/Siobhan:
Oh, no. I’m in. I wouldn’t miss this one for the world. 
As Jasmine walked up the stairs, Heather and Gwen came out of the kitchen set.
Heather/Eliza:
That’s it! I’ve had it Ms. Sybil Heart. I’m done. I cannot continue to cook for these horrible people and their three thousand questions! I’m done! I quit!
Topher/Sybil:
What the hell is this? What is happening here?
Gwen/Peignoir (failing. hard.):
Simple! I ordered a… Uh… Um…a spanish omelette! That’s it, a spanish omelette!
Topher/Sybil (improving, trying to save this failure):
And that’s it? That’s what set off my chef to quit?
Gwen/Peignoir:
W-well n-no… 
Heather/Eliza (improving, also trying to salvage Gwen’s failure):
Questions, questions, questions! “Are the peppers fresh?” Yes!” Are the onions fresh?” Yes! “Are the potatoes fresh?” I planted them myself! “Is the cheese fresh?” I hand made it! “How about the butter?” I broke my fingers and I gave myself carpal tunnel just churning it! “And the eggs?” I cocked the chicken and fired them out of its ass myself! “And the peas? Are they fresh?” Fresh from the supplier and frozen here! “But if they’re frozen, they aren’t fresh, I’ll have the cheese salad instead! Is the bread fresh?” I can’t take it anymore! You can take this ugly chef hat, this job, and this horrid ass class of scum clientele and shove it right up your deflated ass! I’m done!
In her character, Heather thrusts her chef hat into Topher’s chest, shoves Gwen, and stomps down the hotel lobby set. Gwen, still struggling, looks to Topher for guidance, so he keeps improving to try and keep this afloat.
Topher/Sybil:
Prunelle Peignoir, you have caused our only chef to quit? 
Gwen/Peignoir (still stuttering):
I-W- I- Well… I suppose I did…
Topher/Sybil:
Right, then be gone with you! You are not welcome in my hotel! Exit the establishment immediately. You feel free to pick up your belongings as Siobhan will be tossing them out the window over the terrace. Goodbye!
With a sigh of relief, Topher shoves Gwen down the lobby set until she is off camera. A quick cut to Topher in the confessional, rolling his eyes and then back to the acting challenge. Time has passed and Topher and Jasmine were standing outside of a door marked 16. Nobody wasn inside. Using a key, Topher opens the door and the two snoop around the room as Jasmine shuts the door behind them. However, there was a loud thump at the door and the handle started turning. Topher pushed Jasmine into the closet as in the script. However, this quickly backfired as Jasmine started hyperventilating, breaking character.
Jasmine:
O-oh my god. I-I can’t do this! T-Topher-
Topher (whispering):
Jasmine, not now. we’re in the middle of filming a challenge. 
Jasmine:
I-I can’t breathe…
Topher:
Jasmine, keep it together. You can’t breathe, but your character can!
Despite Topher’s “best” efforts, Jasmine couldn’t keep her composure. While the scene of Shawn and Zoey coming in and making out in the bed continued, Jasmine burst through the closet door and stormed off the set screaming. Topher, being a professional, decided to try and power through the scene alone, absorbing Jasmine’s lines with his, leaping out of the closet.
Topher/Sybil:
A-ha! I’ve caught you!
Shawn/Fawlty:
Caught us doing what?
Topher/Sybil:
Soiling my good hotel with your unholy acts!
Shawn/Fawlty:
Is this some kind of joke?
Topher/Sybil:
The only joke is you making a mockery of myself and my hotel! Both of you, pack your belongings, you will be leaving immediately!
In character, Topher stomps out the door and runs down the stairs to the hotel lobby. Soon after, Shawn and Zoey follow, in their jackets with their belongings packed. Courtney is sitting behind the desk, talking on the phone.
Courtney/Coleen:
What is this? What’s going on here?
Shawn/Fawlty:
This hotel is a joke!
Courtney/Coleen:
Sybil! What’s going on?
Topher/Sybil:
They’re leaving, that’s what it is!
Courtney/Coleen:
Sybil!
Shawn/Fawlty:
This psychotic woman got us out of bed in the middle of the night, made us pack our bags, and demanded that we leave!
Courtney/Coleen:
Sybil! Well, you two please go back up stairs while I take charge and sort this out.
Shawn/Fawlty:
Do. We’ll be going off to bed now.
Shawn and Zoey walk back up stares while Courtney grabs the same large black closed umbrella and begins smacking Topher with it. Faint applause from Chris…
Chris:
That was a disaster! Raccoons, you enjoy your second victory tonight! Vipers, you’ll be voting somebody off.  
=== Act Three - The Cabin ===
Setting: Pahkitew Island, the cabins, nighttime 
The Vipers had split up in different directions. The camera focused on Courtney and Scott in the forest, sitting down and having a talk.
Scott:
So are we not going to talk about us?
Courtney:
What do you mean?
Scott:
Well, we haven’t seen each other for almost ten years and we haven’t talked… about us.
Courtney:
Scott, I don’t think that there’s anything to talk about. We’ve moved on. You like that Amy girl and I’m not really dating anymore. What’s left to say?
Scott:
Well, I really liked you, and you were my first and only relationship ever.
Courtney:
Scott… The short time that we had together was nice, but it really wasn’t right for either of us. We were just kids and our passions were high. There’s nothing really between us, just my need to dominate and your love of being dominated. You’re a great guy, but you’re just not the person for me.
Scott:
It's nice that we agree on this. I just wanted to get… what’s the word for it?
Courtney:
Closure?
Scott:
Yeah, that’s it!
The two share a hug between friends as Gwen appears before them, having been walking through the forest alone. 
Courtney:
Oh god.
Gwen:
Scott? Courtney?
Scott:
Hi, Gwen!
Gwen:
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude on a personal moment.
Courtney:
Yeah, well, you did. You ruined it.
Gwen:
Oh come on, Courtney! Please forgive me! It’s been nine years! Let me make it up to you somehow, please!
Courtney:
I can think of one way and one way only.
Gwen:
Name it, it’s done. 
Courtney:
You’re voting yourself off tonight.
Gwen:
Wait, what?
Courtney:
If you’re truly sorry, you’ll vote yourself off. 
Gwen:
But then what if I get eliminated?
Courtney:
Then I guess that’s a chance you’ll have to be willing to take.
Gwen:
Surely, there must be another way!
Courtney:
There is none. It’s either this or nothing, make your choice.
Courtney walks away, and Scott follows after, leaving Gwen alone to think about the choice she must make. The camera pans to Anne Maria, Dave, Jasmine, Shawn, and Topher sitting by a waterfall. They are discussing their vote for tonight and what their options are.
Shawn:
Topher, why did you bring her?
Anne Maria:
Well, if you can bring your boyfriend along, why can’t he bring his best friend?
Shawn:
Boyfriend?
Dave and Shawn turn and look at each other, confused.
Anne Maria:
Oh come on, practically everyone sees the tension between you two.
Jasmine:
Does this matter right now? We need to figure out how to vote.
Topher:
Although we will be getting back to Total Drama’s first queer couple right after.
Anne Maria:
Well, we have two options. Gwen failed the challenge and Jasmine ended up blowing it.
Jasmine:
I know it, but I have more to show, more to prove.
Anne Maria:
And you’re saying that Gwen doesn’t?
Jasmine:
Well, this is her fifth time competing and she hasn’t changed.
Anne Maria:
And you’re trying to throw someone else under the bus because you failed the challenge. You’d think with your track record of this behavior, you’d have learned by now. You deserve to go home and you can’t set someone else up in your place. That’s as tacky as your gross, muddy boots! Pack your trash!
Anne Maria gets up and stomps off. Topher attempts to say something, but Shawn’s hand quickly covers his mouth.
Shawn:
Not another peep out of you.
Removing his hand from over Topher’s mouth, Topher becomes distracted with his disgust. 
Jasmine:
We can always try what they did with Duncan and vote off someone unsuspecting.
Shawn:
But we’d need a majority vote for that, and Anne Maria, Alejandro, and Heather don’t like us. Scott is a wild card, same with Zoey. I don’t know how we’re going to get out of this.
Topher:
Well this is depressing, I’m out.
Topher gets up and walks off as the camera cuts to another confessional block
Courtney:
I have to admit, after Topher stole that lead role from me, it felt so satisfying to beat him down. Over and over and over again. Seeing him get eliminated will be so satisfying. 
Gwen:
Courtney has put me in the exact same position I put her in all those years ago. How’s that for irony?
Anne Maria:
Jasmine put such a bad taste in my mouth after throwing Gwen under the bus to cover her own failures. She needs to go. 
Amy:
Another victory. These are too few and too far in between. We need to flip this and go onto our well-deserved winning streak. Although I would be a delusional fool to not admit that this win only came because Jasmine and Gwen failed miserably, because Topher absolutely had to do heavy lifting to carry them letting him down, that was impressive for the idiot.
The camera cuts to static and then to the campsite.
=== Act Four - The Campfire Ceremony ===
Setting: Pahkitew Island, the campsite, night
The Vipers sat on the tree stumps after each one had placed their votes. Everybody was glaring at Gwen and Jasmine, except for Courtney, who was glaring at Topher. Chef, as usual, carries a tray of marshmallows to the podium, slams it down, and leaves to get the boat of losers ready. Chris looks very displeased.
Chris:
Well, Vipers. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. You’ve butchered my work. I don’t think a single one of you deserves a marshmallow. You’ve all disappointed me. This was a trainwreck.
Courtney:
Some did far worse than others, and one did far too much to be the center of attention.
Topher:
Well, I was the lead, and you weren’t. Get over it!
Chris:
What is all of this throwing each other under the bus? You all did terrible.
Blaineley:
With that being said, let’s get right into it. Ten marshmallows, eleven contestants. Marshmallows go to:
Topher!
Courtney!
Heather!
Shawn!
Anne Maria!
Zoey!
Alejandro!
Dave!
Scott!
Chris:
That leaves Gwen and Jasmine. Gwen, you were an all around disappointment today. You failed your team at every opportunity. Jasmine, your failure was even more of a shock. You started off so strong and threw it all out quickly. The last marshmallow goes to…
Jasmine.
Blaineley:
Gwen, pack your bags. You are out of here.
Gwen:
Well, that’s the breaks, I guess.
Blaineley:
But first, let’s see how everyone voted!
The screen behind Chris and Blaineley illuminated, showcasing the votes. Gwen votes for herself. Courtney votes for Gwen. Scott votes for Gwen. Anne Maria votes for Jasmine. Heather votes for Jasmine. Alejandro votes for Jasmine. Topher votes for Jasmine. Zoey votes for Jasmine. Dave votes for Gwen. Shawn votes for Gwen. Jasmine votes for Gwen. Six votes for Gwen, five votes for Jasmine.
The camera cuts to Gwen packing up her belongings and walking the dock of shame. As she boards the boat of losers, Courtney runs down the dock to catch her.
Courtney:
Gwen, wait!
Gwen:
Courtney? What are you-
Courtney:
I’m going to give you something you never gave me when I wanted it. I forgive you.
Gwen:
You forgive me? Really?
Courtney writes something down on a piece of paper and gives it to Gwen, who clutches it in her hand.
Courtney:
Here, this is my new phone number. Text me, okay.
Gwen:
You better win this for me.
Courtney:
Like there was any other choice.
The two give a tearful hug, and then as soon as they let go, Chef drove the boat away, Gwen fading away into the distance, her and Courtney waving goodbye to each other.
Blaineley:
Well, there we have it. Another contestant booted out in the race for two million dollars!
Chris:
How will Jasmine take Topher breaking their alliance and voting her out?
Will Amy and Samey finally get into it and give us our Emmy moment?
Will Dave and Shawn finally cut their tension?
Find out next time on TOTAL!
DRAMA!
RESURRECTION!
The screen cuts to static and then fades to black.
== Trivia ==
* The challenge this episode is a loving tribute to the classic BBC comedy show Fawlty Towers, and there are many references to it in the episode.
** The character Sybil Heart is based on Basil Fawlty.
** The character Coleen Cleese is based on Sybil Fawlty.
*** Coleen's last name Cleese is based on show creator John Cleese
** The character Siobhan Sherman is based on Polly Sherman.
** The character of Eliza is based on both Manuel and Terry Hughes.
** The character of Mr. Fawlty is named after Basil Fawlty.
** The improv characters as well as the script used in the challenge are based on the episode The Wedding.
* For the second time in Total Drama history, Heather has acquired the McLean Brand Immunity Statue. This time, she finds it in the forest in the previous episode, and has Topher help her get it down from a tree.
* Alejandro, Dave, Lightning, Tyler, and Zoey do not speak this episode. 
* The improv characters in the challenge are based on the improv comedy show Who's Line is it Anyway?
* This episode uses foreshadowing multiple times throughout the episode:
** Dawn foreshadows Courtney and Gwen's reunion at the end of the episode.
** Chris foreshadows the bottom two of Gwen and Jasmine for flubbing his script.
* The episode uses Amy, Sadie, and Samey to set up an underdog storyline for Lindsay in the episode, as they state that she flubbed all of their practices, but she ends up doing a great job during the challenge.
* Jasmine's struggle with claustrophobia is brought up again in this episode.
* Courtney convinces Gwen to vote herself off in the same way Gwen told Courtney to do it on All-Stars.