Red Sox Nation

Two boys are playing hockey on the pond on Boston Common, when one is attacked by a vicious Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy took his hockey stick and managed to wedge it down the dog's collar and twist, luckily breaking the dog's neck and stopping its attack.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Bruins Fan Saves friend from Vicious Animal..." he starts writing in his notebook.
"But, I'm not a Bruins Fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we're in Boston, I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again.
"Red Sox Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific attack..." he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Red Sox fan either!" the boy said.
"I assumed everyone in Boston was either for the Bruins or the Red Sox. So, what team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Yankees fan!" the child beamed. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:
"Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet."
==Something Similar: Lion vs. Christian==
A man is walking through the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her right in front the little girl's screaming parents.
The man runs to the cage, hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the man returns her to her terrified parents.
A reporter saw the whole scene and says to the rescuer: 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.'
'Why, it was nothing,' said the man. 'Really, the lion was behind bars and I knew God would protect me just as He did Daniel in the lion's den long, long ago. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt was right.'
'I noticed a bible in your pocket. Are you a Republican?' asked the journalist.
'Yes, and I'm a Christian on my way to a bible study,' the man replies.
'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed... I'm a journalist and tomorrow's paper will have this on the front page.' The journalist leaves.
The following morning the man buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on first page: "Right Wing Republican Christian Fundamentalist Assaults African Immigrant and Steals His Lunch."
Category:Animals
Category:Athletic Humor
Category:Newspaper Humor