2013.04.16 - Bank Robbery in Metropolis

Metropolis Central Bank is one of the icons of the city. It's an old bank, full of old money and is one of the rare banks that actually has armed guards in it at all times. It's usually very busy, with plenty of traffic passing between the large Corinthian columns and the heavy double doors, inside to a classic bank lobby with lots of dark woods and granite in view. 
"Ok. So, the important thing here, is that no one panics. All right? No one panic." 
"But this is a robbery." 
Deadpool- wait, nevermind. There's really no sense in asking how he made it all the way into the bank's lobby, un-noticed, in the middle of the day. But what counts is that there he is, abruptly in the middle of the crowd, and sporting a hugely outsized pair of automatic weapons that are meant to be fired two-handed in each hand. 
Immediately, people scream and start hitting the floor, many covering their heads reflexively. A guard goes for his sidearm, but Deadpool's got one of those rifles aimed at his eyes before the pistol clears its holster. "Easy there, Tex. No one needs to get hurt." Does anyone ever /need/ to get hurt? "Well. I mean, not /needs/ needs," Deadpool clarifies. "How about you don't shoot me, and in return, I don't perforate you with bullets?" he asks the guard, sounding almost polite about it.
Outside, it is one of the first really pretty days of Spring in the city. Matt Murdock just couldn't sit in his office as the Spring Fever was just too much. He ditched his afternoon appointments and ducked out of the office. Rather than go to the park, he slipped into the distinctive red uniform of Daredevil and begin to move through the rooftops and cityscape of Metropolis. He swings from the line in his billy club and lands on a window ledge looking over the Midtown Center. He is about to move again when the screams reach his ears. He cocks his head slightly as he isolates the screaming and where it is coming from. The Metropolis Central Bank seems to be the source. He leaps from the window ledge and fires his line so that he swings over the traffic down below. He lands on the top of a cargo truck, running with it so he adds the momentum, and then leaps again to catch hold of a flagpole in front of the bank. He swings around once and then lands on the ground just outside of the bank.
	Strangely enough... Emira had never actually had to deal with a bank robbery, the entire time she had been living in the city... They happened, of course... in a city filled with powered people who thought they were unbeatable, it was inevitable that people would come in and try to rob a bank for one reason or another... Usually it didn't work out.
	This time however... Emira was standing in line, waiting patiently for the man in front of her to be called so that she would know that she was next. She was absolutely calm, not expecting anything... Of course, she had never had any reason to expect anything... she couldn't have POSSIBLY noticed anyone with guns.
	Once the people in the bank started panicking though, Emira started to suspect that something was up, and started to look at little worried, looking around for a moment, "What's... going on?" She was more... confused than she seemed to be concerned for her own safety.
Another day, another exploratory mission out in the city. The boy known to some as 157 had been wandering in the Midtown area today, sightseeing after a fashion--in that he stared at a lot of things that a lot of tourists probably also looked at, at some point. Passing near the bank, the youth turns slowly to face it, noting the activity inside...and quietly and calmly walks over to the door, opening it and walking in without the slightest sign of recognition that this might be rather dangerous. Inside, he stares blankly at the man with the guns, the terrified civilians...and just walks further in, looking around the room and studying the layout.
"It's the St. Patty's Day parade! Have a cold one, relax, and think happy thoughts," Deadpool advises the confused woman. He walks right on past her to a teller station and tosses a big duffel bag at one of the tellers. "Fill that up with cash, my good man. Nothing larger than a fiver, and none of those marked tracer bills," he adds, with a remonstrative waggle of the barrel at the man. "So, y'know. Lots of dollar bills. Oh, and quarters, for the parking meter. Do you validate?" he asks, handing him a parking stub. 
With no significant effort, Deadpool vaults the teller line and starts walking purposefully towards the security deposit vault. Less than a minute's passed since the screams started. Deadpool quick-steps to the side of the vault area, then with a quick, darting motion, scurries past the vault door and chucks something through the opening. There's a shout, a deafening BANG, and Deadpool runs into the vault area. It's hard to see what he's doing, but it sounds like he's methodically smashing his way into the safe deposit boxes.
Daredevil lands in front of the bank door just as 157 wanders into the bank. Even as the door opens, he can hear Deadpool carrying on and the lobby takes shape with his radar sense. He is running into the lobby and actually vaults over 157. As he enters, he fires off his grappling line once more, pulling him up and over the folks laying on the ground so that he lands on top of the teller window partitions. His head moves this way and that as he tries to pick out Deadpool from the crowd even as the explosions go off. Behind his mask he winces as that sends ripples through the radar and he loses Deadpool. "Which way did he go?" the Man without Fear asks one of the cowering tellers from his perch. After a gesture, Daredevil turns towards the safe deposit box area. 
Emira frowns a little, her confused expression fading a little with something a bit more properly concerned. "What? That doesn't make any..." But then the green blur on her vision was walking past... and then moving past the blur that she had assumed to be a bank teller... after giving a less than traditional bank robbery quote. So far though, she didn't seem to be in any danger, and so she just stayed where she was... If this was a bank robbery, it was best not to make any sudden movements... She certainly didn't want to get shot, and she didn't want anyone ELSE being shot either... She had already had to revive one dead person this month, she didn't need a second one.
The sound of explosions however, caused her to wince. He was carrying explosives? As the explosion rang out, The potted plants in the lobby started to quake a little, their roots starting to rapidly grow over the edges of their containers, as if sensing Emira's distress over the situation... It was a small enough change so far, that it would have probably gone entirely unnoticed even by the people who could see.. but it was a start.
There certainly is a lot of noise and chaos from Deadpool's antics...but it doesn't appear to be bothering 157. The oddly-dressed boy walks slowly through the room, and settles on Deadpool as the thing most worthy of study at the moment. He actually follows Daredevil over to the vault, pausing for a moment and listening to the smashing noises within, then peeking around the door. Looking up at Daredevil--the closest available person at the moment--he speaks in nearly monotone. "Explanation required: Purpose of present activities."
 
"Hey, Daredevil!" Deadpool tells the Man Without Fear, his tone light and cheery. With practical and efficient motions, he slams a four-foot breaker bar into the safe deposit box door and simply rips it out of the wall, the contents emptied into a duffel bag near his feet. "What's the haps, man? If you want to make a bank transaction, you might wanna come back later. Everyone's gonna be a bit busy for the next..." He glances at his watch. "Six minutes or so." 
Deadpool leans back a little ways, peering around Daredevil at 157, then the Crimson Canadian looks back at the Daredevil. "What's his deal? I haven't read his +finger yet. Hang on." Deadpool pauses. "Yewes...yewesi... How do you even /pronounce/ that? Hey, kid!" Deadpool shouts at 157, breaking down another box door with a painfully loud shock of metal on metal. "How do you pronounce that?"
Daredevil turns his head towards 157. "Now would be a good time to get back." He gestures back towards the huddled crowd of folks. "This man is extremely dangerous." He turns back towards Deadpool. "Afraid I can't do that. I'm on my coffee break and Super hero union rules state that I only get 15 minutes before heading back to the job site." He crouches about to jump into the vault and towards Deadpool when he pauses. His head turns as the sound of plant pots cracking makes its way to him in between Deadpool's wise alec remarks. "Something else is going on to..." he says to no one in particular, but remains standing on top of the teller window.
Emira notices after a moment that one of the blurs that headed into the back was... smaller than the others and looks a bit concerned, "Mmn..." She looks between the other blurs, then back at the three in the vault, then she started to move in that direction, using a white cane to guide herself around the counter... Someone was going to get hurt back there, and she was starting to worry that it was going to be the smaller blur!
"Query: Yewesi...how do you even pronounce that?" 157 repeats. "Probable meaning: Inquiry as to identification of this unit. Request for assistance in pronunciation. Answer: Unit identification Yeweseisisel. Yeh-weh-say-sih-sel. Current language usage: English. English translation: One-Hundred and Fifty-Seven. Unit will also respond to variants. Examples: One-Hundred Fifty Seven. One-Five-Seven. Hundred-Fifty-Seven. This unit will also respond to identifications 'kid' and 'young man'." He looks up at Daredevil as the man instructs him to get back, and obediently steps back a few steps, though he doesn't go all the way back to the crowd. "Explanation required: Purpose of present activities," he repeats.
 
"That's right! I'm VERY dangerous! OoooooOOoooooo! Daaaangerouuuuus!" That's scary, not dangerous. Isn't dangerous scary? Only sometimes. But scary isn't always dangerous. "I'm scary AND dangerous!" 
Deadpool slams the prybar into the deposit box, making an illegal withdrawal again, the sound echoing around the room. "I'm glad you're on break, then. It'd be awkward if you tried to stop me," Deadpool informs Daredevil. "I mean, you're cool, dude, and I'm totally down for some villain smiting, or something, but I'm kind of /busy/ right now, y'know?" 
"Oh- busy robbing this bank, Short Round," Deadpool explains to 157. "Y'know. Unauthorized withdrawal, illegal transaction, armed robbery. However ya wanna hack it." He's making good progress. "Three minutes," he announces to the room.
Daredevil leaps from the teller window towards the vault. He catches hold of the top of the vault door and swings in towards Deadpool. His legs extend as he tries to hit Deadpool in the head with his heels. "Lucky for me then that I don't scare easily, Scary and Dangerous." 
"Understood. Subject identified as Scary and Dangerous. Clarification required: Should this unit add 'Short Round' to recognized identifications?" 157 asks, as he walks back to the vault door and watches the fight. "Analysis: Subject identified Scary and Dangerous engaged in activity which will attract attention of local authorities. Recommendation: Subject Scary and Dangerous should exit area immediately to avoid confrontation." Never mind that there's a confrontation going on right now.
 
Deadpool promptly swings the three-foot breaker bar around in a vicious arc, aimed right for Daredevil's ankle as the acrobatic hero flings himself into the vault. "Nothing personal about this!" Deadpool yells, dropping into a long step out low. Something small goes 'pting' against the rear of the vault, and then erupts in an erratic, earsplitting cacophany of sound as the Banger-9 detonates. The flashbang, enough to stun a man even in the open street, is an order of magnitude louder in the close, dense confines of the vault. After the first blast, nine smaller explosions thunder the room, like M80 firecrackers on steroids. 
Deadpool turns and swings the breaker bar at Daredevil again with a pair of short and snappy motions, the blows aimed to disable more than maim or kill. 
"Yeah, add that one to the list!" Deadpool yells. "Also, call me Docka Jones!"
Daredevil lifts his feet at the last moment before the bar connects with his ankles. He tucks into a ball and lands behind Deadpool. But then the flashbang goes off. It isn't the flash that bothers him, but the sudden explosion, amplified by the close quarters, has the intended result and then some. To Daredevil, the world shimmers as everything melds with everything else. His radar is completely scattered so as Deadpool comes around with the second swing, he catches it in the shoulder and is sent into the vault wall.
Deadpool's instructions to add names to 157's list are missed, largely because of the explosion of the flashbang. 157's reaction is...odd. He does what you'd expect--flinches, stumbles around, and looks ill, finally falling over...but it's all kind of subdued, without any of the panic one would normally see when someone gets flashbanged. "Alert: This unit's visual and auditory senses have been compromised. Possible damage." Despite an inability to hear at the moment, he actually doesn't speak any louder than normal.
 
"I told ya, nothing personal!" Deadpool yells at Daredevil, his voice echoing and rebounding in the vault. The walls continue to seeth disharmonously with the aftershocks of the flashbang, the hundred-odd safety deposit boxes vibrating erratically. "I mean, y'know, like I said, you're a COOL GUY," Deadpool shouts. His hearing is clearly compromised by the deafening side effects of the flashbang. "You shoulda just stayed on your break! I mean, I could report you to the Superhero Union, and tell them you're skipping your union break- you know how crazy they go over that kind of thing? The Merc union gives me all kinds of grief, lemme tell ya." He leans on his breaker bar like it's a cane. "Do you guys have dues? Can I get a member card? I could do the moonlighting thing, y'know, Superhero by day, avenging Anti-hero by night, and then I could do weekend work for the Merc Union, y'know, assassinating people, or stuff." He slips forward with an effortless motion and swings the blunt tip of the breaker bar into Daredevil's lower back, in an attempt to strike a nerve cluster to temporarily paralyze him.
Daredevil can't see, in any form at the moment, but once Deadpool touches him, he can find the Merc with the Mouth. He rolls onto his back hand coming up to grab at the bar as he does. He yanks the bar sideways with his one hand and swings where Deadpool's head should be. At least he hopes. "Sorry," he says in a voice of obvious pain, "but they are sticklers about only one Union at a time." He also kicks out one foot in attempt to knock Deadpool off balance.
157 slowly sits back up, clearly still disoriented and with compromised senses, and gets unsteadily to his feet...and then just falls right back down again, landing face-first this time. "Alert: This unit's locomotion has been compromised. No damage to limbs. Errors result from compromised senses. Analysis: Recovery possible over short time." So saying, he just...lies there for the moment.
 
Deadpool 'oofs' as he gets swatted across the face, but tumbles with the blow to avoid the more punishing strike from the breaker bar. He turns the trip into a controlled fall, landing spryly and lashing out with both feet in what looks like a Capoeira move, aimed at Daredevil's knee and ankle. "How would you know? I've got a Blockbuster's card /and/ an Arby's card," Deadpool counters. "And a library card! And I get a discount at the adult book store if I buy a skin magazine of equal or greater value. I bet you don't even know where Lady Helga's House of Skin is at. I have to recommend it as a client /and/ a patron." 
Deadpool glances over at 157. "Ignore that last bit, Short Round! It's rated PG-13! Not for young or sensitive MUSHers!"
Daredevil grunts in pain as the kick lands on his knee and ankle. He forces himself to fall forward to try and grab at Deadpool's legs before the Merc can pull them back again. As he grabs, he treats Deadpool like a gymnist's pammel horse. He supports himself on his hands as he swings his lower body forward, kicking out towards Deadpool's center mass. It is going to hurt if he connects as his knee and ankle are throbbing right now from the kick he just took. "Didn't know Arby's even had a card," he grunts through clenched teeth. "Or that you read anything but comic books."
157 finally seems to recover enough to get to his feet, though he's still clearly unsteady. He regards Deadpool with a lengthy stare, before finally speaking. "Input not understood." For the moment, he simply continues watching the fight. One might ordinarily expect someone to try to get out of the area when they've been flashbanged, but...well, the fight seems to have progressed to martial arts, so maybe 157 just expects the danger to himself to be over.
 
"I have a Kindle!" Deadpool snarls at Daredevil. "I read! I read Cat in the Hat /three times/. And I turned off Sex in the City so I could finish up the novelization of your crappy movie, finally, and it only took me /three years/ to finish it. Do you know how much I hate Ben Affleck in that movie? I mean, yeah, when I was a /kid/," he says, fighting back, "I thought the whole fight scene with him and Elektra was pretty cool, and man, Jennifer Garner is /hot/, but... that movie just didn't age well, y'know?" 
Deadpool clenches his stomach and folds his body around Daredevil's foot, capturing it in a neat jiujitsu hold. He hauls back and with Daredevil's leg trapped under one arm, slams the heel of his palm into the side of Daredevil's knee, hard enough to dislocate it. "When are you do for a gritty reboot, bee-tee-dubs? I was pissed, I found out that Ryan Reynolds stepped out of my movie, BUT-" he leans forward conspiratorially. "Didja hear I have a VIDEO GAME coming out?!" he squeals. "I got that role in Ultimate Alliance, and now I'm gonna be in my OWN GAME!"
	Daredevil cries out in pain as his knee cap is suddenly not where it is supposed to be. His hand slaps at his side, blindly, as the pain rips through him. Finally, he fingers close over the billy club at his side. He pulls it out and swings it hard at the side of Deadpool's head. The ringing of the flashbang is finally coming back under control and Deadpool's voice is actually forming a good base to focus on now. How many times will it ever be said that someone is glad Deadpool won't shut up? "I...." swings "don't..." swings "care..." swings with the billy club.
157 continues watching the fight, blankly staring at the events, and listening to Deadpool's continuous chatter. "Subject Scary and Dangerous exhibits erratic behavior. Analysis: Subject Scary and Dangerous unreliable information resource. Data provided by subject should be further investigated for corroboration by secondary resources." He turns his attention to Daredevil. "Other subject opposes subject Scary and Dangerous. Analysis: Subject apparently rational and of potential use as information resource. Both subjects capable of personal combat to high degree. Prediction of winner impossible."
"Ow." 
"Ow."
"Ow." 
Deadpool goes a bit limp as he's clubbed temporarily senseless, his nerveless hands releasing Daredevil's leg. Oh man, are you ok? Think of the boobies, Pooly! Think of the boobies! HEY. Minor present! Ix-nay on the oobies-bay! "How'cn youna care?" Deadpool slurs, his head leaning against the wall of the vault. "Issa vidjamage! Vidjamagame! I can't type," he apologizes lamely. He waves at 157. "Hey kid, you bored over there yet?" he slurs. "Did you know me'n Daredevil are allmos per'feckly matched? Wwe bof have a Marshal Arts shcore of 8!" He fumbles disjointedly, trying to get back on his feet from the punshing blows of the billy club. "An I'm TOTALLY reliable asa 'ninformation soursh." He waggles a finger at 157. "An' call me DOCKTA JONES." 
Deadpool starts clumsily crab-walking backwards, trying to shake the cobwebs out of his skull. Along with the three new dents in it. "What is that thing made of, buckles?" he mutters under his breath.
Daredevil's body visibly relaxes as Deadpool lets go of his leg. He pulls himself backwards with his fists slowly. One leg helps push him back. The other leg is already showing signs of swelling. Daredevil can't put pressure on that one yet or even use it to help himself pull along the ground. He reaches out for one of the hanging deposit drawers and begins to pull himself up from the mat to hop on one foot. "C'mon, Sweetheart," he says in a bad Short Round voice of his own. "What is a few thumps to that head anyway?" He pushes away from the side of the vault, barely able to stand on one foot and the other just touching the ground. He brings up both hands in fists, still clutching the billy club in one.
"Understood. Subject identified Scary and Dangerous will now be identified Doctor Jones." Sadly, 157 has no apparent interest in trying to mimic the accent. He watches both fighters as they try to shake off the effects of the damage they've sustained. "Statement: I am totally reliable as an information source. Response: Negative. Evaluation: Combatants evenly matched. Recommendation: Combatants should cease conflict. Continuation of conflict will result in considerable damage to both combatants."
 
Deadpool slaps his hands over his ears, screws his eyes shut, and tucks his head between his knees. 
He swings up a little handwritten sign on a wooden stick. It reads: 'Look Down!' 
The Banger-9 makes an erratic little whirlygig sound as it rolls between Daredevil's feet, hissing spitefully. Then the hissing stops. 
The rippling din of erratic explosions causes another series of screams from the lobby, and sends the handful of first responders scurrying for cover. Deadpool is up on his feet and moving in a flash, and with a smooth motion, he grabs his duffel bag and sprints out the vault door. "It's DOCTA Jones. Not Docter. Docta. Say it with me," he orders 157. "Docta. Dooooocta. Aww, forget it." He waves his hand dismissively, then turns and runs back into the vault. "HEY DAREDEVIL!" he shouts at the man. "WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE, YOU SHOULD REALLY LOOK INTO WHO INVESTS IN THIS BANK! I'M TECHNICALLY AN ANTI-HERO, REMEMBER?" He gives Daredevil's shoulder a friendly clap and then he's out and running again, heading for the doors.
"Awwww, Hell." It is said in a quiet, resigned voice as Daredevil recognizes what just rolled towards him. Even as it goes off, he is shoving himself, on his one good leg, out the vault door. The bang still goes off and still makes his head swim with distored radar images, but he is out of the massive echo chamber that is the vault. He falls onto his face as Deadpool runs by. He tries to get up, but his knee screams in pain. He collapses back down again. "Damn it, damn it, damn it," he curses as Deadpool heads for the door.
157 /does/ possess pattern-recognition ability, clearly, as when the banger-9 is tossed this time, he moves to cover his ears with his hands and closes his eyes. He's still pretty off-balance afterwards, but he doesn't take the full effects, at least. Opening his eyes again, he looks after Deadpool as he runs for the doors--utterly ignoring the attempts to un-correct his pronunciation of "doctor"--and then down at Daredevil. "Subject appears injured. Recommendation: Seek medical attention."
Category:Log