Fingle Dan

Fingle Goutman Dan is a character role-played by TheChief1114.
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==Description==
Fingle Dan is a bored old man who gout-walks amidst the city of Los Santos, born to a large family of Dans. The Guild looks up to Fingle's immortal power and all-knowing, oracle abilities.
Fingle has a severe gambling addiction and will do anything for money. Even eat cum. 
Fingle loved the thrill of crime, and found excitement in high-speed getaways as well as foot-chases, in which he protests to the officers that he has a heart condition to avoid getting hit with a taser. He has also been notorious for his Fingle Skips, which involve pulling off an impressive trick or maneuver in a vehicle.
Fingle was an avid hunter, and had been known to hunt in suburban areas targeting dogs (claiming they are little furry deer's that bark) with his dad Freddy and brother Jeff.
Fingle has a unique form of dementia. It causes him to experience oddities such as being able to see into the void or feel time around him stuttering. As time progresses, it appears that Fingle's dementia can momentarily distort reality for those around him as well.
==Titles ==
Supreme Allied Commander Fingle Dan of The Time Police, Hero of BurgerShot, Wielder of The RPG, God's Favorite Cop, The Gout of War, The Fingler, Los Santos' favorite son, God's Favorite Drunk Driver, and Doctor in Tijuana. 
==The Dans' Curse==
The Dans' Curse, is a field that surrounds Fingle Dan and some of his family, which means that anything that could go wrong, WILL go wrong. Another effect of this curse is that Fingle can effectively get away with anything.
==Personality==
What appears to be a lovable, sweet old man is actually a callous, hardened cosmic entity that has lived longer than the earth itself. Often ruining people's lives by way of snitching or by setting them up in fake house robberies, Fingle has been known to burn bridges and is often cruel and uncaring to any of his colleagues just so he can get what he wants. 
To some of the actual friends Fingle still has, he can often be seen making crass jokes about semen or anything of that nature. However, even some of Fingle’s closest friends and family still tend to be the target of his abuse.
There is only one person that Fingle cares deeply about and would never dare to double-cross him, and that would be a certain man, locked away forever, never to be spoken of again.
==Timeline==
Early Days
====Early Days====
Fingle has fought in every war, including but not limited to: The Trojan War, the Peloponnesian War, the Hundred Years’ War, the American Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, the American Civil War, both World Wars, the Vietnam War, the Clone Wars, the Storage Wars, the War on Terror, and the War on Drugs. In recent history, Fingle Dan was reportedly involved in the dropping of tea into Boston Harbor on the 16th of December, 1773.
Fingle Dan, along with a few other Dans, acquired his immortality many millennia ago. Historical artifacts reveal that Fingle was viewed as a powerful god in Ancient Greece and Rome. Other artifacts included a scroll detailing the tragic tale of Kinglemesh; a painting displaying the birth of the beautiful goddess Peachingle; and multiple swords and helmets with the names of Dingle, Wingle, Kringle, and Broskingle engraved on them. Although there are no records of Fingle making deals with the devil, one can only wonder where the source of Fingle's immortality lies. The same cannot be stated for the relatives of Fingle, with each of them seeming to operate by their own unique laws of reality. 
Fingle Dan was about to be hanged in 1899 for the multiple robberies of banks and trains and also for the murder of the Blaine County Sheriff. However, Fingle slipped his head through the rope and said "Just don't die, lmao." Afterwards, Fingle ran away while everyone was dumbfounded from what had just happened. 
Fingle Dan invented highly experimental weapons that were used during WW2. The defeat of the Axis powers is attributed to Fingle Dan. He was also the first man to walk on the moon. President Nixon ordered this accomplishment to be scrubbed from all public records due to rumors that Fingle was having sex with both of Nixon's daughters.
During the Vietnam War, Fingle Dan was rumored to be an ace helicopter pilot. He was said to be "whipping that baby so hard its control was burning his hands".
In 1969, during the height of the Cold War, Fingle Dan began assembling a robot that would be able to detect communists and vaporize them on the spot. Due to the semen-infused circuitry that Fingle installed, the robot's AI became far more sophisticated than Fingle had imagined, and calculated that capitalism would defeat the USSR faster than it ever could. The robot soon after disabled any weapons built into it and swore to live a pacifist life. Fingle's dreams of controlling a human massacring machine were shattered so he went for the second-best option: having a son that he (kind of) loved. He named the mech Rob Otte.
Fingle Dan killed a man in 1984.
In the late 1980s Fingle began conducting experiments to try to clone himself. His first clone was a failure, it became a monstrous heap of flesh with a taste for blood and was referred to as "The Blob". Fingle's second clone was a success and was named Jean Claude Van Dan. Fingle then made one last clone and named him Gene Claude Van Dan. The whereabouts of the clones are currently unknown. More recently, the Humane Labs and Research facility seems have become active again, although under unknown management. Farmers in the area have also reported hearing strange slurping noises late at night, followed by livestock mysteriously vanishing the following day.
In the early 2000s, Fingle Dan met a man named Greg The Bomber, who at that point was a nobody. Greg and Fingle would go on to become friends; Dan lost contact with Greg but the last thing he heard was that Greg changed his last name to Everly over an obsession.
Before entering the city, Fingle Dan had a group of friends who he would ride around and do crime with. Sadly once Fingle entered Los Santos, the old gang went into hiding or died. Some friends of his have shown up such Suckaberg, and Robot, as well as Ken Tucky, but Ken cant make the train. Robot would tell Fingle about how their friend Joe Jonte, died a couple months back and there was a funeral for him back in October that Fingle missed, Fingle also learned that Joe was buried near his wife whom was allegedly killed by Mila Smoak.
===Recent Feats===
On February 13, 2024, Fingle Dan would awaken in his apartment after many years asleep, immediately opening The Long Dark on his phone and doing nothing for the day.
On March 25th, 2024, Fingle Dan would reawaken discovering his gout had spread across his body, prepared to die.
==Quotes== 
*"Yes, man."
*"We like to have fun here."
*"Look me in the eyes. Cum."
*"I'm old."
*"You guys are being total divas right now!"
*"They call me The Goblin."
*"Live, Laugh, Park."
*"AUUUUUGH"
*"cum. :)"
*"SHEEEESH!"
*"(REAL)"
*"Seshually"
*"Sess perv"
*"I just won't die."
*"What, are you gonna get an erection for the first time in your life?"
*"It's not where I am, it's where i'll be."
*"If I was on that plane, your honor, it wouldn't have gone down like that."
*"I'm a shooter, but my balls hurt."
*" Carter has tragically passed away."
*"Do you know how hard it was to dig 70 graves? I gave up, I just did one big hole!" - in reference to the DanClan's whereabouts.
*"Fingle Dan witnessed."
*"Can we just bury the hatchet? Before we have to bury you." - Fingle to Cleo Shaw
*"That little gay boys gonna have to wait because i'm gambling right now." - Fingle to Cahmelluh
*"Did I do good Cap?" Fingle as he lays bleeding out in Little Seoul
*"I wanna die, I have no hair." - Fingle because hes bald.
*"Johnny Divine here, just creamed me lots." - Fingle to Keyon after Johnny D creamed him.
==Trivia== 
* Fingle Dan is immortal.
*Fingle Dan likes to drive car fast.
*Fingle Dan's favorite hobby is poaching (preferably dogs)
*Fingle Dan's balls were surgically moved above his penis.
*Fingle Dan's favorite food is bean pie.
*Fingle Dan is a multiversal constant. This phenomenon is known as The Fingularity.
*Fingle Dan and Carmella Corset are Runescape husband and wife. They had a test tube baby named Obama2 Corset-Dan who was stabbed to death and thrown into a lake by Carmella.
* Fingle Dan and Ming Jingtai are old friends.
*Fingle Dan has once drank a burger.
*Fingle Dan wears thigh highs under his clothes.
*Fingle Dan's cum has magical properties when it's convenient to the plot.
* Fingle Dan has a bullet inside his stomach that the doctors let him keep.
*Fingle Dan has a tomb reserved in the graveyard despite the fact that he is immortal.
* Fingle Dan is missing one of his middle fingers due to Kingle Dan slicing it off in the hospital.
*Fingle Dan has a history with breeding cats. He is able to perfectly mimic the noises of cats in heat due to his extensive experience.
*Fingle Dan's favorite song is Bangarang by Skrillex.
* Fingle Dan spent a hour high on Krokodil.
*Fingle Dan has massive tits.
*Fingle Dan's name was legally changed to Fingle Goutman Dan by the government (without his knowledge)
*Fingle Dan briefly appeared in 2.0, and filmed The Crackumentory.
* Fingle Dan's other favorite song is 6STR by P Money.
* Fingle Dan eats Rhett McConnell's ass.
*Fingle Dan shits out his feet.
*Fingle Dan's cum is technically police equipment.
*Fingle Dan beat Domenic Toretti on the side of the road.
*Fingle Dan in his previous city, shot a police officer in the head and was never convicted of it.
*Fingle Dan has PTSD from being deployed in Little Seoul.
*Fingle Dan is a cuckhold.
*Fingle Dan serves drinks in a tube top at Pitchers.
*Fingle Dan was the cause of the Unified Police Drinking Game.
*Fingle Dan is legally able to carry an MP5 off duty.
* Fingle Dan was demoted to K-9 under Matt Rhodes for two local hours.
* Fingle Dan was allowed to FTO Shelly Smith on April 9th.
*Fingle Dan is a necrophiliac.
*Fingle Dan's construction company, Fingle Dan Building, aided in the construction of the twin towers.
*Fingle Dan didn't get any sign offs.
*Fingle Dan has had ride-alongs with every department head.
*Fingle Dan is somehow a okay teacher.
*Fingle Dan was allowed to FTO Wynona Fontaine on June 1st.
*Fingle Dan was awarded a Medal of Honor, by the courts.
*Fingle Dan is in Gunner's top 3.
*Fingle Dan's favorite band is Nickelback (voted on by chat.)
*Fingle Dan's favorite movie is 8 Mile (voted on by chat.)
*Fingle Dan's dreams make him wake up in blood.
*Fingle Dan's hands are small.
*Fingle Dan is there for a lot of high command talks.
*Fingle Dan has never seen a movie before.
* Fingle Dan was smited by God.
*Fingle Dan was propositioned for sex by Penny Farthing
*Fingle Dan is diabetic.
*Fingle Dan has metal shrapnel in his head dating back 300 years.
* Fingle Dan's Air-1 callsign is Minus-1.
*Fingle Dan was the first head of the VPD Liaison Department.
*Fingle Dan is in three departments.
*Fingle Dan likes having his balls tazed.
*Fingle Dan's biggest fan is Jenny Hall.
*Fingle Dan has a tolerance to laxatives.
* Fingle Dan was a lieutenant corporal, its either between sergeant or Lieutenant, or equivalent to sergeant.
==Gallery ==
Category:Dan Clan
Category:Old