Brain Of The Earth

== BEGIN PROFILE: ==
One of many inventions of the brilliant but luckless Crown family,
 more specifically the brothers Duke and King (Pictured above 
maintaining the device), the BRAIN OF THE EARTH is a minor footnote in 
proto-G.U.F.F. History, intercepted in 194[REDACTED] in the run up to 
the Second World War.''
Firmly rooted into the earth, 
reportedly from interviews with Duke the invention was intended to “Whup
 that damn Hitler good,” and its operation had become aberrant when 
“That numbskull King sat his fat ass on the controls"''
The 
device’s apparent purpose was to draw energy from a cthonic source; the 
“Soul of the earth” as King called it, to create a beam of energy  that 
would cause injury “only the dark of heart.” Though, Duke was swift to 
report that “It sure as fuck almost blinded me!”''
The 
aberrance in the mechanism caused rapid fire at the fair; where it was 
their intention to showcase it for possible sale to the United States 
government (Hence the prescence of what would be later considered the 
proto-G.U.F.F.), caused massive rapid firing. ''
The only
 injuries reported were in a tent directly across from the station, 
later reported to have harbored a meeting of the German-American Bund; 
with [REDACTED] later revealed as foreign double-agents.''
The
 government reported interest in the device post-incident, but fell 
through almost immediately when it was found the blueprints were eaten 
by a nearby goat.''
== Author Commentary ==
Sometimes I get it into my mind to make stuff like a G.U.F.F.-based 
Laurel And Hardy-type shenanigans using a giant laser-skull. Because 
sometimes you gotta bring a story together weirdly.
This one also introduces the aforementioned family of black anomaly-inventors known as the Crown family, who have shown up in at least one other entry and which I will almost certainly use more in the future...
As per usual with G.U.F.F. stuff, this is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY 4.0 license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!
And, if you wanna support me, maybe check out my Patreon, which I previewed this design on ages ago, or even just send a Ko-Fi my way! Every penny is appreciated, and I am eternally grateful for those who donate!
Category:G.U.F.F. Entries