No Good Deed/transcript

Previous Episode: Funny Formula Finders
Next Episode: The Trick of SpongeBob Scaredy Pants
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: November 23, 2002
Episode Copyrighted: 2001
This episode is rated TV-PG-L.
Episode starts at Roblox's HQ.
Roblox: Everybody, listen up! There's villains going on here! We must stop them before it's too late!
Little Miss Whoops: *dryly* This is going to be great, Roblox!
She then noticed the lid loose.
Little Miss Whoops: Uh oh. You have a loose lid. Don't worry, though, I'll take care of it.
She turned it a bit before smiling.
Little Miss Whoops: That's better. Here you go. *destroys tools accidentally* Whoops! Uh oh.
Builderman: Yeah! We were just messing around, and you had to go too far.
Little Miss Whoops: It was an accident. I didn't mean to-
Roblox: *glares* Shut it, Idiot! How many people want Roblox HQ banned from this place for life?
Both: Yeah!
Little Miss Whoops: Aw, come on, everybody. This bar is like a tavern to me. Plus free soda.
Roblox: *gets serious* Sorry, Whoops, you should have thought of that before you gave me the old sugar-me-do.
Little Miss Whoops: I said it was an accident! Why won't you believe me?
Roblox: Oh we believe you, but you're the most clumsy nerd we ever met and for that,  I'm taking your caricature down from Roblox HQ and I'm taking your favorite song out of the juke box.
He removed the record from the jukebox.
Little Miss Whoops: *gasps* 4 Eyes are Better Than 1?
Roblox: Yeah, not no more it ain't.
Little Miss Whoops: Oh. Hmph, joke's on them: I'm still alive...I hope.
Slide transition inside the apartment building with the Bagges, Mr. Bump patted Miss Whoops on the back.
Mr. Bump: Cheer up, Miss Whoops.
Little Miss Whoops: Can't.
Eustace Bagge: *grins* Ha! Fine with me!
Muriel Bagge: What if you pretended that this couch were a bar? Then you could spend more nights at home with your brother. Huh?
Mr. Bump: *sweatdrops* I'm not going to dignify that with an answer. Plus it's hazerdous to my health sometimes.
Courage: Look on the bright side, Miss Whoops. Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for "crisis" as they do for "opportunity"?
Little Miss Whoops: Yes! Cris-atunity...or something like that.
She got up as she continued.
Little Miss Whoops: You're right. I've been wasting my life away in that dump for days. That's it! I'm going to find a new bar to have fun in, and I'm going to get hyper than I've ever been in my entire life! Shirly! Where's my wallet?
She groaned, showing it.
Shirley the Medium: Right here, Miss Whoops.
She took it.
Little Miss Whoops: Thank you!
At a classy bar, Miss Whoops looked amazed.
Little Miss Whoops: Wow, classy.
Then, a fish waiter from SpongeBob SquarePants came to her.
Fish Waiter: Good evening, ma'am. Would you please leave without a fuss right now?
Little Miss Whoops: What did I do wrong?
Fish Waiter: Nothing, oh nothing...it's just that...
He pointed to where the sign had Miss Whoops crossed out.
Little Miss Whoops: *annoyed* Oh man, that's not cool!
Builderman: *to Miss Whoops* Don't you worry, Miss. You go to the mall.
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob's house.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *wakes up* I'M REEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Squidward Tentacles: If you say that one more time I swear to Neptune I'll cook your head for Thanksgiving!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, sorry. Guess what! Do you know what today is?
Squidward Tentacles: Yes, we have that stupid scrimmage in the ghetto.
Mr. Krabs: *jumps out of Squidward's mailbox* The ghetto???? No!!!!! Me money!!!!! Don't mug me!!!!! You can kill me, just don't take me money!!!!! *runs down the street*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uhhh....how'd he get there?
Squidward Tentacles: You don't wanna know. *winks*
SpongeBob SquarePants: That's disgusting.....whatever that means. Anyway, I'm gonna go wake up Pat! Don't wanna be late! *enters Patrick's home*
Patrick is fast asleep in bed. He is holding two basketballs in his arms.
Patrick Star: *sleeps talking* Aww yes!!! Basketball, baby!!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: That's nice. He's dreaming about basketball.
Patrick Star: *sleeps talking* Girl, you have the biggest basketball of any girl I know...
Lynn Loud Jr.: Did somebody say basketball?!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well that was an unexpected comment.
Patrick Star: *squeezes the two balls* Girl, I could play with your basketballs all day. What do you say we score some points?
SpongeBob SquarePants: OKAYYYY!!!
Lincoln Loud: Okay SpongeBob, time to wake him up!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah! *starts shaking him* Patrick, wake up! Patrick!
Patrick Star: *in my dream world*
We see him on a beach with his dream girl.
Patrick is about to kiss his dream girl, when her head suddenly turns into SpongeBob's head.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *in Patrick's dream* Patrick, wake up! Patrick!
Patrick Star: *wakes up* AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! SpongeBob, you had big basketballs!!!!
SpongeBob SquarePants: What? .....never mind, come on! We're gonna be late!
Lynn Loud Jr.: Are we going to basketball game?
Lincoln Loud: We're going to the ghetto! Our team has a scrimmage against some ghetto guys today.
Patrick Star: Will there be girls there?
SpongeBob SquarePants: It's the ghetto, Patrick.
Patrick Star: So?
Lincoln Loud: Let's stop talking. Let's go.
Time card reading "15 Minutes Later"
French Narrator: 15 minutes later.
15 minutes later at the Loud House exterior, Lana is playing some mud.
Lana Loud: *plays in the mud and rubbing mud all over my cheeks*
Lola Loud: Lana, is there anything you do besides playing in mud?
Lana Loud: Nope.
Lola Loud: Have you fed your lizards and frogs?
Lana Loud: Yep.
Lola Loud: Did you take a shower?
Lana Loud: Yep.
Lola Loud: Then why do you still play in mud?
Lana Loud: Cause I like it.
Lola Loud: Well, I'm telling Lincoln! *walks off to find Lincoln*
Lana Loud: Yeah, whatever. *playing until my foot is stuck* Huh? *pulls it off*
Lana is still sinking.
Lana Loud: Lola! LOLA!
In the house.
Lola Loud: *ignores Lana*
Leni Loud: Have you heard something?
Lola Loud: Nope.
Leni Loud: Eh. Me neither.
Lana Loud: *still sinking in mud* LOLA! HELP! MOM! DAD! LINCOLN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Now Lana is sunk into mud.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Lynn Loud Jr.: *runs inside*
Lincoln Loud: What is it?
Lola Loud: Lana's playing in mud aga- *notices that Lana is not there* Lana?
Lincoln Loud: I don't see her.
Lola Loud: She was right there! I saw her playing in mud! LANA GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Maybe she wanted to play in the backyard.
Lola Loud: Whatever.
They went inside. Later, at a mall, Miss Whoops was grinning at everyone.
Miss Whoops: Good news, everybody! Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want in the US!
Mr. Messy: Alaska!
Little Miss Helpful: Hawaii!
However, Leni looked a bit concerned.
Leni Loud: Er, I don't know, Miss Whoops. We're right in the middle of the busy housekeeping season.
Muriel Bagge: But Leni, you deserve a vacation. It's a chance for you to clean up after us in a whole other state!
Mr. Happy: I don't want to be a wet blanket, but getting on a plane like that seems like a hassle coupled with a burden.
Eustace Bagge: Come on, Leni, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero...I want to live, Leni!
Leni Loud: Okay.
Slide transition cuts to the UG RV.
Uncle Grandpa: *sighs* What a wonderful day. First, take your shoes off. *takes my shoes off* Then, put your boots on. *puts my boots on* And last but not least, I can jump in puddles.
Uncle Grandpa is jumping in puddles. SPLASH!
Uncle Grandpa: Hahahaha! Oh. It's dirty. Time to go take a bath.
Uncle Grandpa is taking a bath.
Uncle Grandpa: All Done!
Bug is attacking Uncle Grandpa.
Uncle Grandpa: OH NO! A BUG!! GET IT OFF ME!! AAAHHH!!! *hits a bug on my face and falls down* Time to go brush my teeth. Where is the toothpaste? Ah-ha! There it is!
Toothpaste Squeezes On Uncle Grandpa.
Uncle Grandpa: Well, It's too much toothpaste. I need some water.
Water Splashes On Uncle Grandpa.
Uncle Grandpa: Oh. Hey, Pizza Steve and Mr. Gus!
Pizza Steve: Sorry I interrupted you, Uncle G. I've just got plans to get on his head.
Uncle Grandpa: Oh! I can go do some- *slips on a Banana Skin* WHOA! OOF!
Mr. Gus: Huh. I never get the tricks I've seen before.
Lord Master Lox: Curses. I'm going now.
Slide transition cuts to Basketball game.
Builderman: Good, everybody gathered here today in the ghetto.
Mr. Krabs: *shakes nervously, holding my pockets* Gulp. I don't like this place.
Builerman: It's "The Basketball Builders Club". So, who's ready for the scrimmage?
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: Me! Me! Meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Larry the Lobster: So, who are these guys we're gonna scrimmage against?
Builderman: I have no idea. I met 'em online. They told me to meet them in prison.
Squidward Tentacles: That would explain why we're standing outside of a prison.
Builderman: *looks at my watch* They should be here by now.
Lord Master Lox: Maybe they meant inside the prison.
Builderman: What? inside the prison? *laughs* Don't be ridiculous! *walks into the prison*
Woman at the Counter: Hi, welcome to the prison, how can I help you?
Lynn Loud Jr.: *punches Lincoln* Told ya there'd be girls here!
Lincoln Loud: Ow, Lynn.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sighs*
Builderman: I have an appointment with some prisoners. We have a basketball scrimmage scheduled for today.
Woman at the Counter: Down the hallway, take a left at the water fountain. That's where the basketball court is.
Builderman: Okay, thanks. Come on, team, let's go.
Lynn Loud Jr.: *stays at the counter, drooling and staring at the lady*
Builderman: Lynn!! Let's go!!
Lynn Loud Jr.: Oh, sorry! Coming! *turns to the lady* This isn't working. I'm just not ready for a relationship. But just for the record. I love you. *runs down the hallway*
Woman at the Counter: *calls the Head Sheriff* Yeah, we're gonna need a taser and some pepper spray.
Screen cuts in the hallway.
Builderman: Now, before we enter the basketball court, we need to discuss our game plan.
Squidward Tentacles: Which is?
Builderman: I have absolutely no idea.
Mr. Krabs: What?? Nothing?? You mean I came here to potentially get mugged....for NOTHING???!!!
Larry the Lobster: Builderman!!! We need a plan!! This is our first scrimmage, and more importantly, our first real game is next week!
Builderman: Gosh! I said I was sorry!
SpongeBob SquarePants: No you didn't!
Builderman: Oh. Well sorry.
Plankton: I have a plan!!!!!
Larry the Lobster: What is it?
Plankton: Since we have no game plan whatsoever, I say we just throw balls at them!
Squidward Tentacles: Balls? Are you kidding?
Plankton: *pulls out a bag of balls*
Lord Master Lox: Plankton, that's fake balls.
Plankton: *sighs*
Builderman: *sighs* Better than nothing. Now let's get in there and show them what we're made of.
The team opened the door, and entered the prison's basketball court. There were 6 tough-looking men on the court. One of them was the coach.
Prison Coach: You dirtbags are going down! You know nothing of us, you're a sad excuse of a team! Get ready for some real power!
Builderman: Let the game begin! Master Lox, Plankton, you sit on the bench.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: What?? Why???
Builderman: Only heroes are allowed on the court at a time. You're villains, now sit on the bench.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: Fine! *hands Larry the bag of Pokeballs* Take these, my friend. You're gonna need 'em.
Coach blew the whistle, and the game began!
Opposing Player: Y'all are goin' DOWN!!! *gets whacked by a ball* Ouch! What the hell???
Larry the Lobster: Holy crap! These things only work in the movies!
Plankton: *from the bench* Curses! I knew we shouldn't have bought those "Real Balls" on sale! CURSE YOU, INTERNET!
Larry the Lobster: Even worse, we don't have a plan now!
Lord Master Lox: *yells from the bench* Just wing it, Larry! You can do it!
Larry the Lobster: You're right, Builderman. I can do this.
Lincoln Loud: What should we do?
Larry the Lobster: Lincoln, go to the left corner. Lynn, go to the right corner. Krabs, stay to the side of me. Squidward, go down the middle. SpongeBob, go in front of Lincoln. Patrick, go in front of Lynn.
Larry got the basketball, and dribbled down the court. The 5 angry prison players were playing some killer defense! .....literally
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ahhh!!!!!! This guy is strangling me!!!!
Patrick Star: Duh, this dude is pointing a gun-shaped basketball at me...
Mr. Krabs: THIS GUY IS MUGGING ME!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ME MONEY!!!!!!!!!!
Squidward Tentacles: I'm completely fine. *blasts and falls over dead*
Larry the Lobster: Ah! Now what do I do?
Builderman: Shoot the ball, Larry!!! SHOOT THE BALL!!!!
It was the moment of truth. In slow-motion, with patriotic music, Larry crouched down and got ready to shoot the ball..... BLAST! The ball deflates.
Larry the Lobster: Okay, who shot the ball literally? We weren't talking about actual shooting!
Opposing Player: *puts laser gun behind my back* Tee-hee....sorry.
Builderman: Well.... I guess the game can't go on.
Squidward Tentacles: *wakes up, holding my chest* Ohhhh.....what happened.
Builderman: We should probably get him to a hospital.
Squidward Tentacles: *heart throbs* Agreed.
Later, at the airport, Mr. Quiet looked concerned while Miss Daredevil was eating some peanuts.
Little Miss Helpful: Hey Miss Daredevil, where have you been here?!
Little Miss Daredevil: The entire time.
Little Miss Helpful: Well, you can go to the airport like so. I need your help!
Little Miss Daredevil: You want my help?
Little Miss Helpful: Yeah! I'm sorry, Miss Daredevil! I should clean it up! It was all my idea!
Little Miss Daredevil: Well, I guess certainly.
Mr. Quiet: Miss Helpful, we should get going.
Little Miss Daredevil: So, Leni, pretty sweet, eh?
She looked at Leni from across the seat while the twitching girl looked concerned.
Leni Loud: Hmm. Oh, I forgot to clean the lint basket in the dryer. If someone broke into the mall and did laundry, it could start a fire.
Slide transition to the UG RV.
Uncle Grandpa: *sighs*
Mr. Gus: Hello, Uncle Grandpa.
Uncle Grandpa: Good morning, Mr. Gus.
Pizza Steve: Uncle G.
Builderman: Um, this is my fault. I'm not thinking of that sooner. But you got bad luck. Because those bad luck are very very dangerous. Squidward is at the hospital.
Uncle Grandpa: It's okay, Builderman. You did your best. *excited* But don't worry. Next time will be get this coin, I can have a good luck for sure, that's why.
Builderman: I know, I'm sorry.
Pizza Steve: That's a good boy, Builderman.
Uncle Grandpa: My pressure, Pizza Steve. Now let's go for a walk into the street.
Screen cuts in the street.
Uncle Grandpa: Oh, I can't believe you got a good luck. Because it's not a bad luck anymore. We have just been friends.
Mr. Gus: That's a good boy, Uncle Grandpa. From now on, I can't wait to see the carnival tomorrow.
Car splashes Mr. Gus and Pizza Steve.
Mr. Gus: AAAHHH!!! What the?
Pizza Steve: So disgusting!
Lana Loud: *wakes up* Where am I?
Lisa Loud: You went on a rampage that you got sucked in on a mud when you're playing on it too much till you turn into mud that you call yourself clayface. And you made a big mess.
Lola Loud: Ha! So you better clean this mess..
Lana Loud: I should clean it up?
Lisa Loud: Nah, don't worry about it. you can play in dirt instead of mud.
Lola Loud: Plus you shouldn't play in mud so much.
Lana Loud: Ok. Maybe you're right. *they walks back home* Say have you fed Izzy when I was away?
Leni Loud: What now?
Uncle Grandpa: *uses the umbrella* See? Good luck!
Builderman: Good luck it is.
All heroes: *laughs*
Intermission
Johnny Elaine: *narrates* And now, you've all been waiting for... New Experiences with Beary Nice and Hot Dog Person: Happiest Places.
New Experiences with Beary Nice and Hot Dog Person: Happiest Places.
Narrator: New experiences with Beary Nice.
Beary Nice: That's me!
Narrator: And Hot Dog Person.
Hot Dog Person: That's me.
Beary Nice: Wow, I've never been so very happy before. Have you, Hot Dog Person?
Hot Dog Person: Uhhh, what's the happiest places?
Beary Nice: The happiest places is having a beyond imagination. And the imagination went wild! Are you ready for going a happiest places... For the beary first time?!?
Hot Dog Person: Uhhh, No thanks, I already messed up.
Beary Nice: You are a wedgie wiener. I can help you for that.
Hot Dog Person: NO NO NO NO NO!
Beary Nice: See for yourself!
Hot Dog Person is looking at the butterfly and the flower.
Hot Dog Person: Wow! Maybe you're right, Beary! I am at the happiest place in my life! I can't wait to visit one of my happiest friends!
Beary Nice: That's the spirit, Hot Dog Person. Keep it up for your imaginations.
Hot Dog Person: Awww, so beautiful birdies. I should be tracking the whole time.
Bird: *bites Hot Dog Person*
Hot Dog Person: Huh? What are you- *screams*
Bird flying and falling Hot Dog Person in the water and Whale bites Hot Dog Person.
Hot Dog Person: Well, I guess I'll be safe in here.
Whale is going to sneeze.
Hot Dog Person: Uh-oh!
Whale is blasting the water off from its blowhole and Hot Dog Person too and falls down the cliff and goes to hell.
Devil: Hey, you can't do that to me!
Devil is having a cannonball and lights a match from cannonball and it blasts Hot Dog Person to the moon.
Hot Dog Person: Hey, what the?
Astronaut: All in sight!
Hot Dog Person: Huh? Oh no! THIS ISN'T GOOD AT ALL!
The rocket flies at Hot Dog Person and falls down while screaming and the rocket finished falling down, they exploded.
Beary Nice: So, wasn't that great, Hot Dog Person?
Hot Dog Person: I don't like the happiest places.
Beary Nice: Well... maybe you're right.
Hot Dog Person: *groans*
Johnny Elaine: *narrates* And that's the end of episode. Until next time with The Expect Smart Actually.
Screen fades in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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