LEGO NINJAGO Explained/Transcript

Jon Bailey: When evil threatens the world, you need a team of highly trained, razor-sharp ninja to save the day. But instead, you'll have to settle for these guys.
Ninja: Hot tub!
Jon Bailey: Uh, Guys? That's your cue. 
Cole: (drinks from his guzzler). Ahh! This is the life!
Jon Bailey: Ninjago!
Iron Baron: Nin-jeng-go.
Jon Bailey: Oh. I mean, Nin-jeng-go?
Faith: Nin-yee-go.
Jon Bailey: Uh...
Zane: It's Nin-ja-go. It's really not that hard to pronounce. 
Jon Bailey: Fine! Jeez. Whatever you want to call it. Meet Master Wu, an ancient and wise mentor to the ninja team. When he's not being a baby, a teenager.
Teenage Wu: I am Wu.
Jon Bailey: Or an evil cyborg. He'll recruit three teenagers and an android by promising to help them unlock their True Potential, as long as their potential involves riding dragons, collecting ancient weapons, and fighting power-mad villains. Otherwise, forget it.
Wu: Good morning, morning, morning! Up-
Jon Bailey: Wu will teach the ninja powerful disciplines, like-
Kai: Spinjitzu!
Jon Bailey: Gesundheight! It's the ancient art of spinning around really fast. Hey, I can do that! Look at me! I can-oh-there's a room going round and round. Oh-I think I'm going to be sick. (retches). But don't forget the other powers they'll unlock. Like: Airjitzu. Forbidden Spinjitzu. Elemental Dragons. And even more powers that will somehow mysteriously disappear without explanation, never to be seen again. 
Jay: (Gasps).
Jon Bailey: Together, the ninja will battle evil menaces, like: Wu's brother, Wu's student, people who want revenge on Wu, and all sorts of super dangerous enemies Wu knew were coming.
Wu: Right on time.
Jon Bailey: But never bothered to mention. Boy, maybe they'd be better off staying away from this guy.
Wu: Shake what your momma gave you. Yeah! Look at this one. Bah! Hm!
Jon Bailey: Meet the ninja team. Lloyd. He's the Green Ninja, and he wears-green. And when he's wearing gold, he's the-um-gold ninja. Good thing they don't have plaid in this universe. Watch as he goes from being a young boy that's magically aged up from childhood, to becoming so powerful, he actually doesn't even need his teammates. But just he's got powers, doesn't mean he doesn't have your typical teenage problems. From having one girlfriend who turned evil, to having another one who is a wolf-girl from another dimension. Well, who hasn't been there, am I right? A mother who abandoned him as a toddler and a dad who missed every school play and basketball game because he was trapped in the Underworld. Oh. Yeah. Sure, dad. Your precious hiatus is way more important than me. Whatever. Zane. the mechanical nindroid that started out as the Ice Ninja, then became the Titanium Ninja. He's a mighty machine with an even mightier loyalty to his friends. Except when he becomes the Ice Emperor and tries to destroy them all. Watch as he tries to understand emotions, develop a sense of humor-
Zane: It was a joke. Ha. Ha.
Jon Bailey: And try to make it through an entire adventure without being deactivated, disintegrated, or demolished. He'll also find a girlfriend in the form of an A.I. that's been stuck in his head for way too long.
Zane: Ehahaha-haha. 
Jon Bailey: I feel you there, pal. Jay. He's the Lightning Ninja and a talented inventor who keeps his friends laughing. 
(The ninja, Dareth, Misako, Dr. Julien, and Wu all laugh).
Jon Bailey: And gets along with everyone. Not sure who thought it was good to trust this guy around lightning bolts. Nya. She controls the powerful element of Water. She's also a talented engineer who creates the ninja's coolest vehicles, and a fierce fighter for justice known as Samurai X. So naturally, she was the last one picked for the team. Seriously, they picked this guy over her?!
Nya: (sighs).
Jon Bailey: Ugh. Kai. The Fire Ninja, in firehouse red, with a fiery temper and a burning desire for victory. But don't call him hot-headed, because that would be a cliché. You know, maybe someday he'll be a mellow, laid-back live-and-let-live hero with fire powers. But not today. And Cole. The Earth Ninja that used to be the team leader. Or so we were led to believe. 
Kai: Well, next time, you lead.
Cole: Next time, I will!
Jon Bailey: Oh, and he used to be a ghost. 
Cole: Uh, you lost me.
Jon Bailey: But behind his façade, he has the most devastating power of them all. He's... nice! To his friends! And his enemies. Watch Cole as he overcomes his greatest enemies of all - the writers, who never give him a season of his own. 
Cole: Just wait!
Jon Bailey: Together, they'll ride into battle on the flying ship Destiny's Bounty. I said, together, they'll ride into battle on the flying ship-
Dr. Julien: That went well.
Jon Bailey: Together, they'll ride into battle-Oh, come on! Join them in their quest to find: The Golden Weapons. The Fangblades. The Elemental Blades. The Techno Blades. The Jadeblades. The Aeroblades. The Djinn Blade. The Yin Blade. The Time Blades. The Oni Masks. What? No Oni blades? The Dragon Armor. Man, these guys are really starting to break the mold with that one. The Golden Weapons...again. The Scrolls of Forbidden Spinjitzu. And, some keyblade thingies. Now, get excited for their future mission to acquire the Blades of-oh, come on! Are you kidding me!?
Garmadon: No! That's not fair!
Jon Bailey: Together, they'll walk into battle with fearsome foes, like: Skeleton guys. Snake guys. Stone guys. Uh, whatever the heck these guys are. Ugh! Ghost guys. Cultist guys. Samurai guys. And even video game guys. But you can't sleep on your most dangerous enemy of all: Lord Garmadon! He's the ultimate bad guy. Turned good guy. Turned bad guy again. With the superpower of confusing everyone about which side he's on this year. He can summon shadows. Cause energy blasts. Create a giant colossus. And, still, somehow be a father while exiled in another dimension. Extra arms mean extra great hugs, am I right? Aww! So strap in for action and adventure with a ninja team that keeps forgetting to train in between missions.
Wu: After every big victory you get lazy.
Jon Bailey: Yet somehow, always manage to save the day, alongside a huge roster of well-developed and lovable characters, who are immediately discarded and forgotten about whenever a season ends. 
Bolobo: Ahh-
Gravis: Ahh-
Ash: Ahh-
Cole: Ahh-
Jon Bailey: So they can go back to laying around on the couch, eating pizza and playing video games. 
Kai: That was awesome!
Jon Bailey: Hm. Where have I heard that promise before? Master Wu's Angels. Uh-I mean, Ninjago. Wait, how many seasons does this thing have again? Thirteen!? Good luck getting through all that, you guys.
Category:Transcript
Category:2020