Transcripts/Hearth's Warming Eve

:[train whistle]
:Twilight Sparkle: We're getting closer!
:Rainbow Dash: I can hardly wait!
:Fluttershy: I'm so excited, I— I feel like shouting! [softly] Woo-hoo!
:Applejack: Hooo-wee! Canterlot, here we come!
:Rarity: Oh, I do hope I look festive enough!
:Pinkie Pie: There it is! Canterlot!
:Main cast: Oooh...
:Twilight Sparkle: Oh, isn't Canterlot wonderful this time of year?
:Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I wish it was Hearth's Warming Eve every day.
:Applejack: There's so much to look at! I feel like my durned eyes are gonna pop right out of my head!
:Twilight Sparkle: I have an idea, let's play 'I spy with my little eye' as we walk! I'll go first. I spy... an eight-foot candy cane.
:Rainbow Dash: I spy a snowpony!
:Pinkie Pie: I spy somepony eating a gingerbread house...
:[cash register ringing]
:Pinkie Pie: [munching] ...and it's me!
:Main cast: [laughs]
:
:[ponies chattering]
:[orchestra warming up]
:Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe that Princess Celestia chose us to put on the most important play of the season! Do you guys know what an honor this is? For all of us?
:Fluttershy: Oh, I wish she hadn't honored me quite so much... I can't go onstage! I don't want everypony looking at me!
:Rarity: Fluttershy, darling, there's nothing to feel nervous about.
:Fluttershy: No?
:Rarity: Of course not. All across Equestria, ponies are preparing their own pageants for Hearth's Warming Eve in their own towns. It's tradition.
:Fluttershy: So you're saying they'll be too busy to come to our play?
:Rarity: Well, no. We're in the Canterlot pageant, the biggest, most important production in all of Equestria. A lot of ponies will come to watch us.
:Fluttershy: A lot?
:Rarity: Hundreds.
:Fluttershy: Hundreds?
:Rarity: [gasps] Maybe even thousands!
:Fluttershy: [yelps]
:[wind rushing]
:Rarity: Oh, my hair! Applejack? Be a dear and shut those windows, will you?
:Rainbow Dash: Aaah! Rain-bow-Dash! Rain-bow-Dash! Aaaah! Thank you, thank you!
:Applejack: It's a reenactment of the founding of Equestria. It's not the 'Rainbow Dash Show'.
:Rainbow Dash: Well it should be the 'Rainbow Dash Show'! I'm the star!
:Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, you've got to come out of there!
:Spike: Curtain in two minutes!
:Pinkie Pie: Twilight, let me handle this.
:Rarity: My hair!
:Twilight Sparkle: PINKIE!
:Pinkie Pie: [teeth chattering]
:Rainbow Dash: [growls]
:Applejack: The Hearth's Warming Eve pageant is about harmony and friendship.
:Other main cast: Shut the window!
:Spike: [sighs]
:[music]
:Spike: [with a faux British accent] Once upon a time, long before the peaceful rule of Celestia, and before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony. It was a strange and dark time. A time when ponies were torn apart... by hatred!
:Audience: [gasp]
:Spike: [normal voice] I know. Can you believe it? [accent] During this frightful age, each of the three tribes – the Pegasi, the unicorns, and the Earth ponies – cared not for what befell the other tribes, but only for their own welfare. In those troubled times, as now, the Pegasi were the stewards of the weather. But they demanded something in return: food that could only be grown by the Earth ponies.
:Audience: [whispering]
:Spike: The unicorns demanded the same, in return for magically bringing forth day and night. And so, mistrust between the tribes festered until, one fateful day, it came to a boil. And what prompted the ponies to clash? 'Twas a mysterious blizzard that overtook the land, and toppled the tribes' precarious peace.
:Spike: The normally industrious Earth ponies were unable to farm their land.
:[wind blowing]
:Spike: The Earth ponies were freezing. The home of the Pegasi fared no better. The Pegasi were hungry. And the unicorns were freezing and hungry. Even the unicorns' magic was powerless against the storm. Each tribe blamed the others for their suffering, and the angrier everypony grew, the worse the blizzard became. And so it was decided that a grand summit would be held to figure out a way to cope with the blizzard.
:[ponies chatting]
:Spike: Each tribe sent their leaders.
:[fanfare]
:Spike: Daughter of the unicorn king, Princess Platinum.
:[fanfare]
:Spike: Ruler of the Pegasi, Commander Hurricane. And lastly...
:[fanfare with kazoos]
:Spike: ...leader of the Earth ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead. Perhaps the three tribes could finally settle their differences, and agree on a way to get through this disaster.
:, and : [arguing]
:: All I wanna know is why the Earth ponies are hogging all the food!
:Pegasi: [shouting]
:: Us?! We're not hogging all the food, you are! Oh, wait, you're right. It's us. Well, it's only 'cause you mean old Pegasusususes are making it snow like crazy!
:: For the hundredth time, it's not us! We're not making it snow! It must be the unicorns! They're doing it with their freaky magic!
:: [gasps] How dare you! Unlike you Pegasi ruffians, we unicorns would never stoop to such a thing! H-m-ph!
:Unicorns: Hmph!
:: Well, if you non-Earths aren't gonna stop using your weirdo powers to freeze us all, then I'm just plum out of ideas.
:: What a shocker. An Earth pony with no ideas.
:: Commander Hurricane, please cease with the insults!
:: You're not the boss of me, your royal snootiness!
:: I beg your pardon?! I am a princess! I won't be spoken to that way!
:: Well, I'm leaving first!
:: No, I'm first!
:, and : [arguing]
:Spike: And the blizzard raged on.
:[windigos whinnying]
:Spike: So the summit of the tribes did not turn out as well as hoped, and the three leaders returned home to lick their wounds... and basically complain.
:: Atten-tion! Well? Aren't you curious about how it went?
:: Oh! Commander Hurricane, sir! How did it go, sir?
:: Horribly! Those other tribe leaders are so disrespectful! Don't they realize that we are a mighty tribe of warriors, and should not be crossed? We have got to break ranks with those weak foals!
:[splat]
:: [shivering] Clover the Clever! I need you!
:: Yes, your Majesty. Did the other pony tribes see reason as I predicted?
:: Those other tribes are impossible! I, for one, can no longer bear to be anywhere near those lowly creatures. The unicorns are noble and majestic. We will no longer consort with the likes of them!
:[splash]
:[thud]
:: Wouldn't it have been easier to use the door, Chancellor?
:: Maybe for you, Smart Cookie. But I am a chancellor. I was elected because I know how to think outside the box. Which means [slightly echoes] I can also think inside the chimney. Can you think inside a chimney?
:: Uh...
:: I didn't think so.
:: Ugh.
:: Ohmygosh. Hold on to your hooves! I am just about to be brilliant!
:: [under her breath] That'd be a first.
:: I have decided that the Earth ponies are gonna go it alone!
:: Aw, so you mean the other tribes didn't come around? Shoot... I really thought we could get through to 'em if we–
:: Don't worry about them. We're the ones with all the food, right?
:: Actually, we're all out.
:: Fine, then we'll have to go somewhere new where we can grow some new food. And with me as our fearless leader, what could go wrong?
:[crump]
:: [under her breath] Where should I start?
:: The point is...
:, and : We must find a new land!
:: C'mon, Private Pansy, let's get a move on! Hup-one, hup-two!
:[lightning cracks]
:: [yelps]
:: Get a hold of yourself, Private! We cannot let anything distract us from the mission at hand. To find, and if necessary, to conquer a new land!
:: Conquer, sir?
:: You never know where enemies might be lurking.
:: I don't see any enemies, Commander. Just... snow.
:: A-ha! What's that?! [fighting noises]
:: [yelps]
:: Okay. This is getting old.
:: Oh, this is simply taking forever. My hooves are killing me! How long have we been walking for?
:: About five minutes, your highness.
:: Oh, I never imagined finding a new land would be so hard. But it'll all be worth it, don't you agree?
:: I actually think that the three tribes could've tried harder.
:: Stoooooop!
:: What's wrong?
:: That is what's wrong!
:[water rushing]
:: Your Highness, it's just a stream. We can cross it easily.
:: I refuse to get my gown wet. I have no intention of arriving at my new land looking like a bedraggled Earth pony, or worse yet a rough-and-tumble Pegasus. I, for one, have no intention of stooping down to their level. On the other hand, I have no trouble watching you stoop down.
:: [groans]
:: And do watch the gown, darling. It's worth more than all of the books in your library.
:: Yes, yes. This is definitely the right direction.
:: It feels like we're going in circles.
:: But that's impossible. Are you suggesting that I'm reading the map wrong?
:: Absolutely not, your chancellorness. It's just that there are holes in the map, and–
:: Of course! How else could I see where I was going?
:: Yeah, uh–
:: Or talk? I need to be able to talk! I mean, how would we survive if I just suddenly shut up?
:: Heaven forbid that should happen, your chancellorship. Heh. It's just that... the map is also upside down.
:: I got a newsflash for you, Cookie. The Earth is round. There is no up or down.
:: You're right! It's such a relief to me that you're in charge of this map...
:: Relief? You don't need relief! If anypony needs relief around here, it's me! I'm a chancellor! I'm a bigshot! You're just my, um... my, uh...
:: Secretary.
:: Whatever. [spits] You take the map while I enjoy some relief.
:: Yes, Chancellor Puddinghead.
:Spike: [accent] And so, each leader encountered obstacles along the way, but eventually, they all arrived in a new and wondrous land. Nopony had ever seen paradise before.
:: This is the new land we've been searching for!
:: What a view... I can see my future house from here.
:: I proclaim this new land to be... Pegasopolis!
:: I've never seen such jewels! This ruby is dazzling. This whole land is dazzling. I'm double dazzled! [squeals] In the name of the unicorns, I hereby dub this land Unicornia!
:: The air! The trees! The dirt! This dirt is the dirtiest dirt in the whole dirt world!
:: And fertile, too. Perfect for growing food.
:: In the name of the Earth ponies, I think I'm gonna call this new place... uh... Dirtville!
:: How about "Earth"?
:: Earth! Congratulations to me for thinking of it.
:, and : We found our new home!
:: I planted my flag first!
:: Did not!
:: Did too!
:: I planted mine earlier than first.
:: All of you riffraff are trespassing in Unicornia!
:: The name is Pegasopolis!
:: Earth!
:: Pegasopolis!
:: Unicornia!
:: I say we fight for the land. May the best pony win!
:[wind blows]
:: That's barbaric. Clover the Clever, throw that brute into the dungeon!
:: What dungeon? Look, perhaps if we all calmed down...
:: I agree. Let's all calm down.
:: I vote for calm.
:: I'll have you court-martialed for insubordination, Private! We settle this on the battlefield!
:[whack]
:: [laughs]
:[whack]
:: [laughs]
:: Who dares throw a snowball at royalty?!
:: Wait a minute, where'd all this snow come from anyway?
:: Oh no. Not again.
:[wind blowing]
:[windigos roaring]
:Spike: [accent] And so the paradise that the ponies had found was soon lost, buried beneath a thick blanket of snow and hard feelings. Instead of beautiful, it was blizzardy. Instead of wonderful, it was wintry! Instead of spectacular, it was snow-tacular! Instead of–
:Shoeshine: We get it! Move on!
:Spike: [laughs nervously] [clears throat] [accent] Everypony was forced to seek shelter. They searched high and low, but the only shelter for miles was a cold and desolate cave. And, of course, the three tribes had to share it, and nopony was too happy about that.
:: Please, Commander Hothead.
:: It's Commander Hurricane.
:: [clears throat] Please, Commander, could you just stand back and give me my royal space?
:: You mean like this, your highness?
:: Indeed not! You see this invisible line?
:: Private, outline our territory for everypony to see. See this real, non-invisible line? No unicorns or Earth ponies are allowed to cross it! This is the sovereign territory of Pegasopolis!
:: Clover the Clever?
:: Uh... Smart Cookie!
:: I know, I know.
:: What are you doing? Don't go around the rock, go over it! I'm not giving up an inch of territory to the enemy!
:: That rock is clearly on the Unicornia side of the cave, and it belongs to us! [under her breath] Who knows? There could be jewels inside.
:: [grunts] I claim this rock for Pegasopolis!
:: Unhand that rock this instant, you scoundrel!
:: Oh, look, you found my rock. I've been looking for it everywhere.
:: Hey! You invaded our territory!
:: Finders keepers, losers weepers!
:: That's the last straw!
:: Give me my rock!
:, and : [arguing]
:[wind blowing]
:: Look, everypony! The entrance!
:[ice cracking]
:: Great. Now there's no way out! We're trapped!
:: You two deserve this horrible fate. You've done nothing but argue and fight with each other!
:: You've been fighting too, your Highness.
:: Yeah! Worse! I haven't been fighting nearly as much as you!
:[ice cracking]
:: How ridiculous! A unicorn never stoops to fighting!
:: That's just 'cause you wimpy unicorns know you'd never win! Earth ponies are numbskulls!
:: Pegasi are brutes!
:: Unicorns are snobs!
:, and : [gasp] [sigh]
:[windigo roaring]
:, and : [screams]
:: W-W-What is that... thing?
:: They must be... windigos!
: and : Windigos?
:: My mentor Star Swirl the Bearded taught me about them. They're winter spirits that feed off fighting and hatred. The more hate the spirit feels, the colder things become!
:: Then... this is our fault. We three tribes... we brought this blizzard to our home by fightin' and not trustin' each other. Now it's destroyin' this land, too.
:: And now our bodies will become as cold as our hearts... all because we were foolish enough to hate.
:: Well, I don't hate you... I actually hate Commander Hurricane a lot more than I hate you guys.
: and : [giggling]
:[windigo snorts]
:: Actually, I don't really hate her, I just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dislike her.
: and : [laughing]
:: Well, I don't hate you guys either.
:: Nor do I.
:[windigos whinnying]
:: No matter what our differences, we're all ponies.
:[ice cracking]
:[ice shatters]
:[windigos whinnying]
:: What was that?
:: I didn't know unicorns could do that.
:: I didn't either. Nothing like this has ever happened before. But I know it couldn't have been just me. It came from all three of us, joined together, in friendship.
:Spike: [accent] All through the night, the three ponies kept the fire of friendship alive by telling stories to one another and by singing songs, which of course became the winter carols that we all still sing today. Eventually, the warmth of the fire and singing and laughing reached the leaders, and their bodies began to thaw. [normal voice] And it even began to melt their hearts.
:[rumbling]
:Spike: [accent] The three leaders agreed to share the beautiful land, and live in harmony ever afterwards. And together, they named their new land...
:Main cast: Equestria!
:Audience: [cheering]
:Audience: [cheering]
:Twilight Sparkle: We should be so honored that Princess Celestia chose us! She must really think we exemplify what good friends are!
:[wind blowing]
:Rarity: Applejack, I thought you closed all the windows.
:Applejack: Don't blame me. Rainbow Dash should've flown up there and shut it. After all, she's got wings.
:Rainbow Dash: Why do I always have to do all the high up chores? Why can't Twilight use her magic for a change!
:Main cast: [arguing]
:[windigo roars]
:Rainbow Dash: Y'know what? I got it.
:Main cast: [laughing]
:[music]
:[credits]
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de:Transkripte/Großes Theater!
es:Transcripciones/La Noche de los Corazones Cálidos
pl:Transkrypty/Wigilia Serdeczności
pt:Transcrições/Noite da Lareira Calorosa
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