All Epilogue 15 - The Fight

==The Fight==
Osamu sat reading in the sitting room placidly. It was night; the children had been tucked in, Mako was elsewhere on his own errands, and Junko minded her business in her room. As he flipped through the paper, Lucca wandered in himself, curling up in his own chair. Some time passed in comfortable silence before Lucca spoke, “Can I talk to you about something?”
Osamu looked up with a face of innocent questioning, “Certainly.”
There was a pause as Lucca chose his words carefully, his expression troubled. When he spoke, his tone was non-confrontational but firm, “I think...it would be best if Virgil held off on participating in your hunting trips, for a bit longer. When you said he’d be helping, I thought you meant something normal, like deer or something...not sphinx. I don’t think it’s a good idea...it’s not safe.”
With a frown of confusion, Osamu replied, “Well, I suppose there is a certain level of risk inherent in the sport, yes, but I hardly think he's in any real danger.”
Lucca made a small grimace of disagreement, “I dunno, I disagree...He’s too young to be going toe-to-toe with large predators like that. Especially magical ones. No kid his age has the reflexes or the experience to really be safe, not even one so well prepared as Virg. If nothing else, he’s too young to appreciate the danger and make that decision for himself. But that’s not just it...if you were at least using proper equipment, that would be one thing...” He shook his head slightly, “Like, yes, I won’t for a second say your methods weren’t super effective...but I’ve never seen anyone else hunt like that, and for good reason.”
“That’s how it’s done in Yeto,” he said simply, as way of explanation. “We’ve used those techniques, and equipment, for generations. And of course he doesn’t have the full skills for it yet: that’s why he’s learning, and why we’re doing the majority of the work.” He shrugged slightly, “Used to be boys would start having to participate when they were younger than him. And certainly with teachers less capable of reacting to and mitigating danger than Mako and I.”
Lucca pursed his lips. “And how many casualties were there along the way? Just because that’s how it was done 200 years ago doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Regardless of how good the teachers are. I guess that’s why it bugs me? It’s so, so much risk, and for what? What is he really getting from this that he couldn’t in another, better way?”
Osamu tilted his paper down further, giving Lucca a curious look with a quirked head. “You talk like it’s some sort of antiquated practice from my time, but it was done a thousand years before me and has continued unchanged to today. It’s a sport, a tradition, a cultural inheritance; that’s what he’s learning. And yes, I said that I agree that there is risk, but I think you might be overstating it somewhat.”
“It is an antiquated practice, whether it’s maintained or not. And I am all for maintaining traditions, you know that, but if there’s going to be that measure of risk to anything, there’d best be a damn good reward. And I’m really not seeing one here. There are plenty of other sports, plenty of other traditions he could be learning right now that would be a lot more reasonable. I’m not saying don’t do it at all. I’m just saying that I think you should scale it back a bit. Wait. That’s all.” He sighed, “It doesn’t matter, at the end of the day, how much you think the risk is mitigated by you and Mako, all it takes is one misstep, one moment of distraction...a sphynx, a griffon, or any of the other things you’re hunting only needs that much of an opening to...to hurt him beyond what I can fix. And even then! That’s not really the point. Fixable or not, if something goes wrong, that’ll stick with him, and that’s not fair either.”
The look he gave him was muted, as Osamu nearly always was, but it still held a clear note of disagreement. After a moment of silence, he gave something of a shrug and turned back to his paper, “Well, seeing as how school is starting again presently, I wouldn’t suspect that we’d have the opportunity to go again until next spring anyhow. That should be more than enough time; 13 is certainly old enough.”
Lucca blinked, an almost indignant look passing over his face as he opened his mouth to retort and seemed to think better of it. He sunk down into his chair with a faint scowl and after a moment asked, “Why is this so important to you? Why can’t it wait? Next spring doesn’t really count; that’s barely over six months. I’d really rather you didn’t pull that nonsense. If you’re just gonna disagree, then disagree. Don’t throw tokens at me.”
With a slow consideration, Osamu looked up again, “Alright. Then I disagree. It is important, and I think you’re being a bit too overprotective.”
Lucca rubbed the bridge of his nose, and the sigh that escaped him spoke of his mounting frustration. “Yeah, I get that. I’m asking why. And you keep being evasive. Why is it so important? Why is it important at all? What makes it worth the risk?”
He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair, frowning as he looked down and away. “...It is important,” he offered finally, “because it was an important part of my life. It was an important part of Mako’s life, an important part of anyone’s life who shared our station, and I would give that to my son. He is enthused for it, he wants to join us, and he has burgeoning skill that easily surpasses others of his age who would have been included; why shouldn’t he?” He looked back up towards Lucca, “The risk to him is infinitely lesser than to any others who might engage in the sport thanks to our abilities, and he is being taught to act and respect the danger as though it wasn’t reduced as it is. So I see no issue.”
“Alright, fine. Yes, some of that is fair. But I still don’t see why it can’t wait? Why do you have to be in such a hurry? Maybe he is safer than most others because of who he’s with, and maybe others have started earlier. But if you try to tell me that there hasn’t been plenty of kids who got wrecked by a drake or something while doing this in spite of everyone’s best intentions, I’m gonna have to call bullshit.” With another sigh, he looked over at him earnestly, “You only get one chance to screw up, and you only have one son. I don’t think ‘because tradition’ is nearly a good enough reason to risk that.”
“I am aware that it only takes one mistake, and that is precisely why it’s important now,” he said with a slightly clipped tone. “Virgil is my only son, my only son who has stated very brazenly for years his intentions to engage in adventuring and who knows what other sorts of activities. In a few years I have no doubts he will be pursuing danger in some form without supervision, which is why it is critical that these years aren’t wasted in learning skills and sense that only come from practice, while we can be there to provide security and structure. It is more than ‘just tradition’: it has always been used as a means of honing abilities, and Virgil shouldn’t be denied the means to gain the skills he will very likely need.” He spoke with a somewhat final air as he added, “Mako and I can handle the danger of any Materian beast we’d target. Either of us alone could, particularly Mako with his aptitudes. So Virgil is exposed to reasonable risk, preparing him for greater risks in the future when we aren’t there to protect him.”
Lucca levelled him a flat look. “One, you could’ve just said that to begin with? Ugh…” He shook his head with a huff, “That at least makes a decent argument, finally. Two, I don’t for a second deny that Mako could handle anything you guys find, and more. But I also don’t think his priorities are in the right place either. His risk and violence threshold is way too high. I saw it on this trip, I’ve seen it on other things, and it’s not right. I’m not saying don’t involve him, ‘cause I know that won’t fly, and I know that’d be a dick move...but don’t argue that he’s making the situation better.”
Osamu paused, looking confused once again. He gave a shake of his head, retorting, “His priorities are certainly in the right place, and Virgil’s safety is certainly his priority. He would not, under any circumstance, let serious harm befall him. That isn’t in question.” He shrugged, “Yes, you’ve seen him grandstanding in combat, because the foes are so beneath him. It does not mean he isn’t vigilant. He has never been anything less than vigilant.” Osamu made a conceding expression, “I suppose there is a concern in exposing Virgil to Mako’s lackadaisical form, lest he pick it up himself, but we’ve both been rather strict with enforcing proper attention to detail and danger.”
Clenching his jaw, Lucca shook his head again. “Oh no, I know Mako wouldn’t let him get get dangerously mauled or killed, but that doesn’t mean he won’t leave him open to unnecessary harm. Not because he isn’t vigilant, or is poorly equipped, but because he doesn’t believe it’s harmful. I don’t just mean physical, either, although that is definitely a part of it, before you start to try arguing that ‘oh, well he’s gonna go get smacked around by monsters sooner or later.’ Because that’s really the least of my concerns here. I’ve watched time and again as he sets Virg up for the same sorta crap that I’ve seen mess me up, that I know has messed the both of you up. And yeah, I get that we all came out of it with some essential skills, but spirits, at what cost?”
Lucca’s words seemed to nettle deeply in Osamu’s mind. He sat back slightly, staring downwards with narrowed eyes and clenched jaw, and he dragged the fingers of his left hand slowly back-and-forth on the armrest: had he not been shifted, his claws would surely have been gouging deep cuts in the fabric. Lucca waited for his response, which was almost a full minute in coming. When it did, it was stated flatly and factually, without looking up, “No. Nothing he has done is unreasonable. Virgil’s upbringing cannot be compared to either of ours. It is not the same in any regard. Mako is not a concern. Hunting has been taught to children of Yeto since the country began. It is also not a concern. This isn’t the issue you claim it to be.”
“Well, that’s just lovely. I’m glad to know you’ve decided to remain blissfully unconcerned about all of this and see no issue. Great.” Lucca snapped in response. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to rein in his mounting anger. “I get that you don’t think that this is actually a problem, that I’m just being an idiot, but I’d appreciate it if you at least tried to meet me partway. I’m trying to help.”
Osamu exhaled heavily through his nose, obviously trying to remove the ice from his voice, “I understand that you are concerned, but I don’t see anything that requires alteration. What can be changed that doesn’t alter the fundamental goals of the activity?”
He opened and closed his mouth, looking to be at a frustrated loss, “I...how am I supposed to start to suggest anything when you just said you won’t change anything because it’s not a concern?” He sighed heavily, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “Okay. Fine. Give him proper equipment. Start with reasonable tools and scale up to your ridiculous melee weapons later. Start off with things that don’t hork acid at you or mesmerize you or something. Stop letting Mako glorify obscene levels of pain tolerance and shrugging off shit that you shouldn’t; he’ll learn that on his own later. Stop letting Mako goad him into unnecessary risks because he thinks it’s funny, and that Virg can take it. Stop letting Mako dump him in the bush to ‘figure it out on his own’, because that is a fucking assbackwards shitty way of teaching survival.”
Interrupting suddenly, Osamu commented, “I thought the issue had to do with hunting, but you seem to be placing greater concern on Mako himself.”
"Because Mako is also a concern!” Lucca retorted vehemently, “And one that could be managed without removing the activity altogether, like you wanted! His behavior is a problem, one that you consistently refuse to acknowledge! And he makes the other problems worse, almost without fail! And you just let him!"
Anger began to stir in Osamu’s manner as he said, "There is nothing to acknowledge! Nothing he's done to my knowledge has ever been outside the realm of reasonable, or it would be acknowledged!"
"That is a bald-faced lie and you damn well know it!" Lucca snapped. He went on to list some of Mako’s offenses, ticking them off on his fingers as he paced back and forth, his anger rising. “He is ridiculously violent, to practically everyone, always! He always prioritizing Virgil’s combat training above anything else, he harasses him into doing it even if he doesn’t want to, and then is totally unnecessarily harsh about it when he finally gives in! He interrupts and disrupts practically all of his other studies and hobbies, either just for the fun of harassing him or else to drag him off to get beat on some more! He encourages him to do stupid shit and then laughs when he hurts himself! He dumps him in the bush with nothing and calls it “survival training”. He’s temperamental and unpredictable and makes the entire atmosphere in this household unnecessarily tense, and that’s especially hard on the girls! And on that note, he’s absurdly obnoxious both here and in public, and they find him utterly humiliating to be around or be seen with!” Osamu sat, growing ever more visibly frustrated with the tirade; he opened his mouth to interject, obviously to argue, but Lucca shouted over him, "No! Stop it! You're making excuses for him again and it’s bullshit!” Osamu’s eyes widened in a measure of shock at being overstepped in that manner. “This is exactly what I am talking about: you let him away with crap nobody else would ever get away with, and then you make excuses for him! It’s messed up!"
“I will!” Osamu argued, his own voice now raised in anger as well. He stared down Lucca as he stood up, “I will excuse any and all of his behaviour as is my right as his lord. I know full well his eccentricities and faults, and full well how and why he acts the way he is, and I know full well that nothing he does with and around Virgil and the girls holds any ill-intent. So I will excuse him!” He glared as he shouted, “Or are you going to tell me that I can’t?!”
“Oh, of course not!” He spat, a slight hint of mocking colouring his tone as he added, “I wouldn’t dream of trying to tell you what you can and can’t do.” He snorted and dropped the tone, “But I fucking well am gonna tell you that you shouldn’t do it! Because it’s not fair to anyone who has to interact with him, and above all, it’s not fair to the kids! They shouldn’t have to suffer just because you have a compulsive need to excuse him for every fucking thing he does! I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if you know why he does the shit he does, or what his intent is, because at the end of the day that doesn’t change the effect it has on people the slightest bit! It’s fucked up, and it isn’t fair! It isn’t fair to them, and frankly, it isn’t fair to Mako either! You’re not helping him by doing this!”
“I hardly think you know what is and isn’t helpful to Mako, not that that has any bearing on this, and you’re dramatizing the entire situation! Suffering? Honestly?”
“As if you’d actually know one way or the other, what with the blinders you keep on in regards to shit like this!” He scoffed, shaking his head, “It only sounds dramatic because you love to downplay everything!” He met his eyes with a fiery glare. “You want it straight? Virgil probably wouldn’t be able to tell if he was hurting or not anymore because the pair of you have done your fucking best to train it the fuck out of him. And as for the girls, do you honestly, honestly know the first goddamn thing about what either of them are feeling at any given time? Let alone the magnitude of it? Oh wait, let me answer that for you: No! You don’t! Because you can’t be damned to try!”
“Try?? Try?? God forbid I didn’t try!!” the pair were both yelling now. “If you think I’m not trying now, you have a sorry idea of what I’m capable of!! If you think Mako isn’t trying, you have a sorry idea of what he is capable of! And I won’t be told that we are causing them to suffer for it!”
“Or else what?” Lucca challenged, jaw set.
He loomed over the smaller man as he replied, “Or else? Else just send me back to Hell! If I’m not trying, if I’m causing the children to suffer in your eyes, then put a stop to it! Put me back where I’m supposed to be, where I won’t harm them anymore.” There was a strange note in his voice: hurt mingled with his anger.
Lucca held his ground, refusing to give way before the other man’s threatening posture, although the shaking of his hands threatened to give him away. “No.” He growled with determined finality. “I won’t. I’m asking you to try to do better, because I know you can! And I know you want to, when you’re actually thinking clearly! But you’re not right now, at all! All I’m asking you to do is to listen! To try and meet me part way, or at least try to see what I’m saying!”
“I am trying! But what I am hearing is that my choices are harming Virgil in nearly every conceivable fashion, mentally, emotionally and physically, and that I’m not trying to consider the children’s feelings, and that I’m causing grief! Which I suppose makes perfect sense as to what would happen when you let a hellish monster who doesn’t understand human emotion near human children.”
Lucca let out a wordless growl and scrubbed his hands through his hair, “That is not at all what I am saying! At all! Now you’re being dramatic! Through this whole conversation you’ve been acting like I’m a hysterical moron for even thinking any of these things, forcing me to say more and more things to even start to get you to see where I’m coming from and now you suddenly turn it around and say I’m just attacking you for everything and that you can’t be any better because of who you are! Come on!” Taking a deep, shaky breath he shook his head and did his best to say calmly, “I am not saying everything you’re doing is wrong. I am not saying that you’re being terrible to them. And I am most certainly not saying or implying in any way shape or form that you are a monster who should leave! All I am saying is that there are some ways that you could do better, that you should do better! That you should try! All I want is for you to just. Fucking. Think. About what I’m saying! Actually saying! To just scale things back a bit! Since the start of this conversation, that is all I’ve been asking you for! Expose him to less violence! Slow down on certain activities! Curtail Mako a bit! I’m not telling you to stop altogether, I just want you to...to...ugh!” He threw his hands up, overwhelmed by his frustration.
Osamu mirrored Lucca’s frustration, waving his hand about uselessly before shoving back his own hair and sitting heavily back down into his chair. He exhaled sharply before shaking his head. “Fine. Fine! Fine.” He shook his head a few more times before he added, “...I will not restrict Mako. I can’t,” without looking up.
This earned a baffled look from the other man, “Why! What do you mean ‘can't’? That doesn’t make sense! And that makes me really, really fucking uncomfortable!”
“I’m sorry,” was all he had to say in response.
“No! That’s not okay! If you can’t control him, he shouldn’t be here!”
Clenching his fists and setting his jaw, Osamu spoke tightly with an air of finality, “I will not. I will not send him away, and I will not be yet another dictating his life. I cannot do that. Come what may.”
“Then you are being willfully negligent and what harm comes of his behaviour will be on you!” Lucca shot back with a mix of indignant anger and offense. “But I’m glad to know where your priorities lie! I just wish you could have had the decency to tell me sooner!”
Eyes still shut tightly, hands clenched, Osamu simply said, “...Noted.”
A scowl darkened his face and Lucca growled, “That’s it? After all that? ‘Noted’? Seriously!? What does that even fucking mean!? Come on!” With closed, angered affect, Osamu only tilted his head away further. Lucca stood for a moment, twitching with anger before he shouted, “For fuck’s sake! If you’re that fucking devoted to him, what the fuck did you marry me for!?!” Osamu only clenched himself further; with a look of terrible hurt and fury, Lucca yanked the wedding ring off of his finger and hurled it at the ground near Osamu’s feet before storming out of the room.
Lucca stomped upstairs and to the master bedroom, moving with the sort of frenetic, buzzing energy that could only come from rage so intense it bordered on panic. He spent a few moments darting about, seemingly grabbing things of his at random and shoving them haphazardly into his travelling bag before stalking back out into the hallway. As he made his way to the door to the girls’ room, he tried to rein in his emotions, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm his nerves. He paused with his hand on the knob and closed his eyes, then tried to turn it. He was surprised to find it locked. With another deep breath, he opened his mouth to speak.
“Lucca,” the sound of Junko’s voice caught his attention, and he spun to look at her. She stood in the hallway looking at him levelly. “Let them sleep.” He opened his mouth to argue, but she held up her hands placatingly, “Trust me, I understand. I really, really get it. I do. Go. Take a minute. Take a day. Take a week. I can watch them until you’re back. You’re upset now, and have every right, but before you move them, you need to be calm. It won’t do them any good to leave right now, like this. Take some time to yourself, cool off, and make sure that it’s what you really think is best. If it is, then we can make a plan, make sure there’s somewhere to go, and make sure that they’ll be ok. Alright?”
He fumbled and spluttered for a moment, looking almost pained as he tried to find words for the thoughts racing through his head. Eventually he gave up, and scrubbed at his face, taking a deep breath. “...Right. Okay. You’re right. You are right.” He said, as much to himself as to the woman before him. “I...I don’t know how long I’ll...soon. I’ll come back soon, regardless.” He looked up at her again, his expression one of pleading earnestness. “If there’s anything...if anything at all...Find me, okay? Or send Rik? I just…”
She walked closer to close the gap between them before she bowed politely, “I promise. If anything at all comes up. I can cast Sending, I can cast Teleport, I have Rik and a dozen other messengers. I won’t let anything happen to them while you’re out.” She frowned slightly sidelong, adding, “I’m sorry...about that. About him…” she shook her head, folding her arms. “You’re not wrong. He is.”
Lucca blinked, for a moment looking almost taken aback. He looked away, and the ghost of grateful smile flitted across his lips. “I...thanks. Thank you. Heh. Thank you, so much.”
She rolled her eyes slightly, “You’re welcome. Lord Osamu can be...frustrating. A frustrating idiot.”
Taking another deep breath, he closed his eyes and bowed his head to her, saying as steadily as he could manage, “I will be back soon. Try...try to keep them from worrying, eh? If you can? Make sure they don’t think I’ve...abandoned them, or something...”
She bowed her head again, “I’ll do everything I can. Try not to worry.”
“I’ll try.” He nodded slightly, and thanking her once more, turned to leave.
Osamu didn’t hear the precise words exchanged between Lucca and Junko, but he could hear Lucca storm upstairs, ruffle through their bedroom, move back down and, finally, leave the house. Very slowly, Osamu stood up. With exceeding care, he picked up the discarded ring and held it in his palm. Looking at it, he sent a brief telepathic message to Junko, Mind the house and children.
Of course, Lord Osamu. With her slightly biting reply, he vanished as he teleported somewhere distant.
==Virgil==
Virgil sat up at his desk, listening. He was supposed to be in bed by this point, but as long as he was quiet and in his room, no one noticed that he’d stay up late reading. So it was that he was awake when he heard the voices of Lucca and his father angrily drifting up from downstairs. As the tone continued to sour and increase in volume, he frowned. Quietly, he moved from his desk to the door, opening and closing it behind him before he scooted towards the room of his sisters’. The voices were louder here, and he could tell what they were arguing about: him. Part of him wanted to pause, to listen even more closely, but he resisted. He tried the handle only to find it locked; he knocked gently on the door before kneeling down to whisper at the crack beneath, “It’s me.” There was a short pause before Virgil could hear the lock turning; the door opened slightly, and Nuan stood there with a look of restrained fear and concern on her face. The boy slid in through the crack before his sister closed it and locked it again. In the far corner, sitting up on Nuan’s bed, was Xue. Tears were already rolling down the younger girl’s face as she hugged a pillow protectively in front of her. Nuan tried to keep the fear from her face, but she was little better than her sister. The girls were old enough to remember what it had been like when their birth father had begun yelling. Virgil did his very best to smile, to be calm, to hug and comfort them, telling them that everything would be alright, that no one would be hurt, certainly not them, and that he would protect them no matter what. All while he could hear the adult’s voices reaching their angered pitch, shouting about him. They couldn’t make out everything, certainly, but it was certainly about Virgil, and Mako: Virgil shouldn’t be doing dangerous things, and Mako shouldn’t let him. Osamu disagreed. The two had never fought before, certainly nothing close to this, and Virgil did his best to hide his own fear to soothe the girls.
Suddenly, the house went silent. They could hear someone stomp up the stairs, and the girls went rigid with fright. Virgil whispered to them, squeezing their hands, promising that it was ok. The stomping passed into another room, but it was only a few minutes before it returned. The knob of the door jiggled as someone tried to open it; Virgil got up and moved towards the door, motioning for the girls to stay together, still smiling for them. When he got there, he could hear voices: Lucca, and Junko. They were talking...about leaving? Lucca was going to leave? And...taking them. They were talking about taking them somewhere. The two finished their conversation shortly, and Virgil could hear Lucca walking away: he was leaving. Not for long. Probably. Virgil turned back to the girls and explained that it had just been Lucca: he had wanted to check on them to make sure they were asleep, but Junko said that he shouldn’t wake them up. It was fine; everything was ok. He continued to smile, despite the fear that ate at him. The boy sat with them until they both eventually fell asleep.
It was very late, or rather very early, when Virgil crept out of their room towards his own, the need for sleep marked clearly on his face. As he got near his door, a woman’s voice asked quietly, “Now, what were you doing in there?”
Virgil looked over to see Junko, watching him from across the hall. “Nothing,” he said quickly, his voice quiet to match his older sister’s. “...Just, making sure they weren’t scared or anything.”
“Oh? I thought you were all supposed to be in bed by then.” Virgil pursed his lips at her statement, and when he didn’t reply, Junko said, “Go to bed, or else your father will hear that you’ve been up this late.”
“Mmmn…” Virgil said, putting his hand up to his doorknob. He hesitated before asking, “Junko?” She tilted her head in acknowledgement. “...Lucca’s...not really leaving for good, right? He’s...not taking us somewhere else?”
She regarded him for a moment before asking, “Are Xue and Nuan worried about that?”
“They didn’t hear,” Virgil said. “And I didn’t tell them.” He bit the edge of his lip, “It was really hard, when their mother left.”
“Leave it that way. Don’t tell them,” she said. She pushed a piece of her long hair back before explaining, “Lucca and your father had a bit of a disagreement; Lucca is just going to cool down. He’ll be back.”
“I know. But you were talking about...after that.”
She paused for another moment, looking at him with a bit of an inscrutable expression before saying, “I doubt it. People argue all the time. He was just angry. He’ll come back and no one will speak about it again. Just like it didn’t happen. Besides,” she added lightly, “even if he were, I can guarantee that you wouldn’t go anywhere.” Virgil frowned with some confusion, and Junko said factually, “Lucca wouldn’t take you anywhere. You’d stay with your father.”
“...But…?”
“Lucca is a sensible man. That’s what they were arguing about, after all: being sensible. And on the off-chance that Lucca thinks it’s more sensible to raise the girls somewhere else, well, it’s not very sensible to take you too.” She gave her head a small shake, “But that almost certainly won’t happen. Lucca will come back, they’ll make up and everything will be back to normal. So, don’t make Xue and Nuan upset over nothing.”
“...Y-yeah…” he agreed, turning back to his door. “Yeah.”
“Now go to bed, Virgil. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Mhmm!” he said said quickly, going into his room. It was dark, but despite the hour he knew he couldn’t sleep. He quietly paced about his room a few times, his mind racing, thinking about the argument, Lucca going to the girls’ bedroom, and what Junko had just said. Lucca and Dad had never fought before; Dad had never yelled like that. He knew that the fight had been about him: Lucca didn’t think he could do what Dad and Mako thought he could. Those two talked at length about when they had learned to hunt, to fight, to survive, and all sorts of other things besides, and he was more than ready to learn too. Why did Lucca think he couldn’t do the things his father and Mako had done at his age? Hadn’t he done things like that? Lucca hadn’t been much older when he went to be a druid. The fight was about Mako too: Lucca didn’t like how Mako was. But he was fun! And he was a hard teacher, but didn’t that make it all the better, to reach harder goals?
Virgil slunk down into a corner of his room, clutching at his arms. What if Lucca left for good? What if he took his sisters, and not him? Why would he do that? He could think of a hundred reasons, and the more he thought about everything, the more scared he became. Shaking and with tears in his eyes, he moved his arms out into what seemed to be an awkward position. He couldn’t play his violin, not this late and after Junko had told him to sleep. But he could pretend, and think so hard about the music that maybe it would wash away the other thoughts. He had to put them away, because tomorrow morning he’d have to smile again.
==Junko And Mako==
Mako entered the house lazily in the morning, loping through the front door whistling to himself. He paused, and it took barely a moment for him to notice something rather amiss: silence. The house was dead silent. He frowned and began to cautiously peer around doors and into rooms, his spines bristling beneath the illusion that covered them. The entire household was comprised of early risers, some of whom didn’t sleep at all, and there was no school on this day: there should be the sounds of children, of activity, the smells of food. It was only quiet.
As he turned a corner, he saw a familiar face: the prim, placid face of Rilkirax, disguised in a well-dressed humanoid servant form. Unfortunately for him, the house wasn’t quite designed to accommodate the bulk of a massive bee moving through the halls and stairways. Rik bowed with a bit of a sly grin, just faint enough to make one question if he really was smiling at all, “The esteemed lady has summoned you to her room.” He gestured for Mako to climb the stairs, “If you please.” Mako raised an eyebrow but complied; it wasn’t unusual for Junko to go overboard with pomp and circumstance.
He waited at the door for Rik to let him in, where he saw Junko seated at the table that was set in the center of her rather lavishly-decorated room. She stood properly and invited him to sit, her motions those of nobility but her expression unmistakably that of a smug, excited teenage girl. With a bit of an eyeroll, Mako sat down, “Ok, what’s going on?”
“No, no no, please, relax, have a drink,” she said, sipping from a cup. He raised an eyebrow questioningly, and she replied with the edge of sass, “Gossip this good deserves proper treatment.” Mako rolled his head exaggeratedly, but nevertheless poured a drink and took a gulp. Junko grinned, “Good! Now, how was your night?”
He sighed, “Can we skip the foreplay and get to the important part?”
Junko made a sarcastic face, “Oh, I bet you’re great in bed, aren’t you?” She gave a snort of laughter, “Alright, fine. Be a boor.” With a toss of her hair, she said coyly, “Osamu and Lucca had a fight last night.”
“Really?”
“Oooh, really,” she trilled, leaning forwards on her elbows. “Proper fight, with yelling and everything. No violence, I think, but oooh, Lucca put the lord in his place. I don’t think anyone has ever been that brazen with him that I can remember. Good for him.” She rolled her eyes slightly, “Not enough people are.”
Mako snorted, “And that’s why it’s dead in here? What, they aren’t speaking now or something?”
“No idea,” she said without concern, “They both stormed out. Or at least Lucca did. Osamu more...skulked out. You know how he gets. House is half-empty, and the kids haven’t gotten up yet.” She glanced out the window to look at the sun, adding with a twinge of concern, “...Getting a bit late for Xue...” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, turning back to Mako, “I’ll check on them in a bit.” She paused to drink before adding, “You know, Lucca tried to take them, actually.”
This news gave Mako pause, “Wait, really? That’s serious shit.”
“Mhmm,” she nodded once. “I told him to wait, calm down a bit before making that call. He seemed to agree, so we’ll see where that goes.”
Mako still seemed a bit taken aback at the gravity of the fight, “Geeze...the heck did they fight about?”
Junko gave him a derogatory look, “What, really? Can’t guess? I’m surprised it took this many years to come up.” Mako gave her a look of his own, mockingly returning her own expression, shaking his head slightly. She snirked, “You. Idiot.”
“What?” he seemed legitimately confused. “I didn’t do anything!”
She stifled laughter, “Yes, that’s part of it.” He was still obviously confused, and she tilted her head, “Honestly? You really don’t get it?”
“Get what?”
“Ooh, here, I’ll spell it out,” she said, making explanatory hand gestures. “Basically? The problem is that this isn’t a noble manor that needs a whole bunch of staff. It’s a normal house. It doesn’t have an army that needs direction; it’s just a family. Now, if Osamu and Lucca are married...and myself and Virgil and Nuan and Xue are the kids...what are you exactly?”
“I…! I’m…!”
Junko cut off his short-tempered response, “You’re the guy who sits in their house and disrupts their routines. It’s similar to what you always have been? Except now your actual job function doesn’t exist and disruption is all you do.”
“I haven’t even…!”
“Oh, ‘haven’t even’ anything,” she cut him off again, “Don’t give me that, you aren’t thick. Osamu pretends to know what’s going on and you pretend you don’t; I’ve watched you both since I was three.” A snotty look had entered into her features as she continued to speak over the stunned and enraged Mako, “You favor Virgil so much over the other two it’s ridiculous, and you force your ’educational’ priorities over the ones he should have so much it’s crazy. I don’t suppose you’ve looked around very much but,” she spoke in a sarcastic loud whisper with a faux conspiratorial hand gesture, “we aren’t living in feudal Yeto anymore.” She returned to her speaking voice, “Times have changed, priorities have changed, and you and Osamu are trying to make a little warlord who has no place in a modern world, which has Lucca more than a little justifiably upset. And maybe Lucca could get Osamu to change his behaviour enough to make sure that Virgil is well-adjusted and not a violent autocrat from a dead age, but who does Osamu listen to first, hmm? He always, always, sides with you, even when you’re wrong. Lucca’s sick of it, and told him so.” She leaned forwards, “You are a homewrecker. You’re not in a feudal manor where you have an apartment and a job and you can pretend that you’re on business when you’re disturbing the lord all the time. You’re just a man, sitting in the normal house of a married couple. And it’s not big enough.”
Mako was twitching with repressed anger, but Junko just took a polite sip of her drink. She added thoughtfully, “I hope Osamu gets himself together and apologizes properly. He’d better. I rather like Lucca. And it would be a pain to have to move.” Mako just stared at her with an incredulous fury. She turned to him, “What? Oh, if Lucca leaves, he won’t leave the kids here, not with you and with the ever-ignorant lord. I don’t think he’d take Virgil, the lord's little shiny star that he is, but certainly the girls. I’m fond of Nuan and Xue; I’m sure they’d appreciate my help, for at the very least the transition.” She took another sip, talking conversationally, “But of course it would be better if they worked things out. Do you think they will? Osamu has always been so terrible at talking to people he cares about, but maybe he’ll make an exception for his husband.” Mako sat for another few seconds, restraining himself visibly before standing up and turning to leave. “Oh? Leaving so soon?”
“I’m not sitting and gossiping with you.”
“Oh, shame. No afterglow either,” she gave a fake pout, before waving to the man who exited the door, ushered by Rik, “Ta ta!”
==Granny==
It was early evening, just as the sun was setting. Marisol Wakiya sat propped up in her bed, knitting by lamplight. An insubstantial knocking at her door caught her attention and she looked up, “Yes?”
Mako, wearing the disguise hat that made him appear as a canary-haired elf, pushed the door open and smiled wearily as he looked in, “Hey Marisol. How ya doin’?”
“Oh! Mako!” she said brightly, putting her work down and scooting about weakly to try and stand; she was late in her years and hadn’t had much strength left these days. Mako dashed quickly across the room to head her off, returning her offered hug and making sure she stayed laying down. “It’s so nice to see you. What brings you out this way so late?”
“Oh, well,” he said with a half grin that held no real cheer as he slid down to kneel on the floor by her bedside. “Nothing, really. ...Long day, I guess?”
“Oh dear,” she replied sympathetically. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“Oof,” he exhaled heavily. “Not a whole lot to say about it really.” She looked at him patiently and he sighed again. He seemed to be thinking extremely hard about something, and she waited for him to speak as he slowly sunk down, twisting to sit on the floor heavily with his back against the bedside. When he finally began to talk, it was muttered, “...I don’t know why I even came here. Shouldn’t be bugging you…’specially since it’s getting late...”
“Oh hush now, don’t talk nonsense. I am not bothered in the least. It’s nice to have company, especially at this time of night.” She gave a light chuckle, “Contrary to what most would think, getting old doesn’t automatically mean you fall asleep with the sunset, and let me tell you, knitting is only entertaining for so long.”
He snickered along with her, “It’s not to begin with.” He sighed, “Yeah, you’re right…” Staring down, he poked at the floor a bit, “Just...didn’t really know anywhere else to go, I guess?” He added more quietly, “Where are you supposed to go, when you don’t have anywhere to go…?”
She tilted her head and asked with more than a little concern, “Whatever do you mean? I don’t understand at all, what happened?”
“Eh. Lucca and, Victor,” the name stuck in his throat slightly, as it always seemed to, “had a fight, last night. ‘Bout the kids, I guess. ‘Bout me.” He sighed slightly, “...I shouldn’t be staying in their house…”
Marisol winced slightly, offering a sympathetic look, “Oooh dear. I am sorry to hear that. It’s funny, but I always found fights seem so much worse when a couple doesn’t have them often to begin with. But it happens to everyone, eventually.” She sighed and shook her head, and fell silent for a moment, considering his words. “Why do you say that, though? That you shouldn’t be there? I hope that isn’t what either of them said…” she said as a faint scowl touched her face.
“Dunno,” he said flatly. “Wasn’t actually there for the fight, just the aftermath. They both stormed out, and Junko filled me in when I got back.” He shrugged, “Doubt it was said out loud. ...Doesn’t really change much. I really don’t belong, and I know it. Just no one wants to say it out loud.”
She sat back and after a moment said frankly, “I don’t think that is at all true. Now, of course, I wasn’t there, and neither were you. But I have been around for a lot of things, I have seen a lot of things, and I have seen a whole lot of the lot of you. And I have never gotten the sense that you weren’t wanted around.” She turned to look at him and smiled reassuringly. “If nothing else, I will tell you this. I know my grandson, and if he didn’t want you around, everyone from here to the peninsula would have known it years ago. So I don’t think it’s quite so bad as you think.”
He smirked, “Kid doesn’t really know better, does he?” He turned to look up at her, still grinning wryly, “Doesn’t have great judgement when it comes to people, even on his best days.” He turned back to the floor, flicking a piece of dirt, “Ain’t about his opinion anyways…”
“What is it about, then?” she asked gently. “It doesn’t suit you to speak so poorly of yourself. If you could give me something a bit more specific, perhaps I could help set your mind at ease?”
“It’s...nothing, really, I guess…” he said. “...Just, when I thought about where I’d go, I...had nothing. No ideas. No real skills or anything. No place. No other people. I’ve...really got nothing. And that’s…” he trailed off, adding after a pause, “...hadn’t really thought about that…”
Once again, the old woman seemed to consider this deeply before saying, “First, I must say that I think you are selling yourself short. But regardless, even if that were to be true, it seems to me that you are left with two options: if you do not want to be there, or honestly, truly think that you are not wanted, you will need to branch out and find those things and people that do speak to you and make you happy. Otherwise, if you think you’ve already found them and they’re there, then you’ll need to make sure to find a way to hold onto them tightly. Either way, you’re young. You have plenty of time to figure it out and fix whatever might need it.”
“...Yeah...young…” he said quietly. He drew his knees up to lean on them and sat quietly for a while. Eventually, he muttered through his legs, “...If Junko’s not lying, and they’re fighting because of me, for...whatever reason...then I really shouldn’t stay. Cause it’s really not my place to be sitting in their house. Not when I don’t have a job there. And it’s not like he would ever actually say he wanted me to go, even if he did. Even if I was getting in the way...and ruining it for him…”
She patted his head, her look taking on a tinge of bemusement, “Dear. If you honestly think that the problem is that you’re there too much and not contributing enough, then your solution looks very simple to me. Finding a job of some sort should sort that out just nicely.” She gave a firm nod, adding a touch more seriously, “But, in full honesty, what you really ought to do, is talk to them. You are worrying yourself over hearsay and suspicions, and while it might feel terribly uncomfortable to think of walking up and confronting them, that is really, truly the best thing you could do. For all of you.” She settled back again and finished quietly, “Communication, is by far one of the most important parts of a relationship. Any relationship at all, not just a romantic one. Without it, one is really just building castles on sand, and risks losing everything to fickle weather, so to speak.”
“Well, yeah, I mean...I was going to. I am going to. Victor’s terrible at saying anything, and if I didn’t say anything nothing would ever get done.” He paused and snickered, “How old was he...we were...fourt...fifteen? Fifteen. And he went 8 months without talking at all. Just silent.” He snickered sadly, “And afterwards he said that I was the only one who noticed. Or at least said anything to his face about it.” He shook his head, and slumped slightly again, “I know I have to bring it up. But I don’t know where either of them are right now. And it’s not the talking about it, it’s the ‘after’ part. The hel-” he coughed, checking his language, “‘heck am I supposed to do’ part?” He slunk into his knees more and added quietly, “...And I can’t...I can’t even...ugh.”
Regarding him with great sadness and sympathy, she smoothed his hair back and gently asked, “Can’t even what, dear?”
He growled a bit as he rubbed his face, “Ugh, why does it hurt? Ugh I f--, rgh, I hate it when it hurts…” He moped, “Don’t care if I ruin everything for everyone else…guess I forgot that I ruin things for him too. And I hate the thought of ruining things for him.” He added quietly, “It hurts...“
“It hurts because you do care.” She gave a small crooked smile, “It is, unfortunately, the price we pay for loving, for feeling deeply and all the good things that come with it: it hurts when things aren’t right.” She considered her words carefully before eventually saying, “It is hard, to learn to share those we love. Harder still, when one isn’t there for the start of the new, and just finds themselves trying to mash together two fully formed, separate spheres, like you all have tried to do. And hardest of all, for those who were there first.” She returned her gaze to him, “What is important to remember, is that if you care about him, you must also learn to care about the others that he cares about, too. A family cannot work, otherwise. Everything is entangled, like a spider’s web, everyone’s feelings lead to another’s. You are no longer separate entities, but all pieces of one whole. That is the nature of the arrangement.”
Mako made a whining sort of moan, leaning back onto the edge of the bed to look up at her upside down. “Families have not worked out for me. ‘M not good at family.”
“I’m very sorry to hear that,” she said sympathetically. With a smile, she went on. “But, shall I tell you a secret? I’m not sure how things are where you’re from, but I hear things are quite different across the south...but regardless, what I was going to say is: there are as many ways to have a family as there are stars in the sky. Just because one or two or even more types haven’t worked well for you in the past, doesn’t mean another one won’t. With some work, you will find your fit, don’t worry. The trick is, you have to be open to it. To working on it and to being a part of it. Otherwise...you are going to keep having problems. Because you can no longer have your brother all to yourself, if he’s decided that a family is what he wants. Not without hurting everyone, at any rate.”
He whined again as he rolled over, his chin resting on the bed’s edge. “I know...you’re right…Mostly right?” He sighed, “Things don’t work out not because I don’t try, it’s ‘cause I’m an awful person. Or a terrific monster? Either or.”
“Oh phooey! You’re melodramatic is what you are!” she teased gently, tousling his hair.
“Pft,” he grinned in turn, saying jokingly, “Shows what you know. I have a reputation! I have books written about how awful I am!” He added a bit sidelong, “I have...a lot of evidence.”
She regarded him for a few moments and then said, “Around here, good and bad are not things that one is, nor are they black and white. They are words to define one’s choices, and they exist on a scale. You decide every day, moment to moment, which choices to make, which you would rather define yourself by.” With an encouraging softness, she went on, “You are not confined by who or what you have been or what you have or haven’t done. You always have the power to change, to write a different story than you have been. That power, and that responsibility are yours and yours alone, and cannot be taken from you.”
He scoffed, “Yeah. Whatever,” as he folded his arms in front of his face, burying his nose in his elbows. “Was born and bred awful, and awful’s what I’ll be.” He huffed and settled into the edge of the bed, looking morosely thoughtful.
“Well, you’re certainly going to have a hard time with that attitude.” She chuckled softly, “But trust me, if there’s anything this old coot knows, it’s that birth and breeding do not have to define who or what you are later in life, if you don’t want them too. Believe you me, I know.”
“I unno...my mom was a psycho. Like, really. Heard voices ‘n sh-stuff.” He smirked, becoming conversational in tone, “Remember her telling me when I was like, 5? That if she could’ve gotten away with throwing me off a bridge she would. And everything went downhill from there. I think my dad was a little insane, just differently...my grandfather probably was too? I think people said he acted weird a lot. And my great-grandfather was totally nuts. People did not like him much at all. For good reasons. So I’m pretty sure I really am insane.” He smirked and added with a sarcastic whisper, “S’what happens when people keep marrying from like, the same ten families.” He sighed, “Uugh, this doesn’t matter. This doesn’t matter at all. Sorry.”
“No, it most certainly does matter. It does.” She said gently, looking at him earnestly, “I am so, so very sorry that you had to endure things like that, and at such an age…” She shook her head slowly. “The world can be terribly cruel...people, can be terribly cruel. I am sorry. But thank you, for trusting me enough to share these things with me. It is good, to speak of the bad things we have lived through, sometimes. Once you’ve shaken off the dust and aired them out in the light, once another person has looked at them and seen them for what they are...sometimes it’s easier to lay them to rest after that. I am here to listen, whenever you need.”
He groaned again, “I am not going to make you sit through the laundry list of everything ‘bad’ I’ve heard and seen and done.” He gave her a tired half-smile, “I’d pretty well have to repeat my life verbatim, and you have knitting to do.” He added a bit more seriously, “...But thanks, thank you, for listening.”
“You are welcome.” She said sincerely, with a warm smile, “Never hesitate, if you need someone to speak to. I have all the time in the world, dear. If it would help you in any way, I would be glad to lend you these old ears, anytime.”
“Thank you…” Mako reiterated again, burying his head in his arms on the side of Marisol’s bed.
She reached over to gently stroke his hair, “Anytime, my dear boy, any time.”
==Cafe==
It was morning, though late enough so that most everyone had started the day’s business. Lucca sat at an outdoor table that afforded him an ocean view. He was in a small town: a fishing village south of Tsimshian but north of the borders of Riolythe. The food he had ordered from the restaurant sat barely picked at, but it had meant that he could sit at their table without guilt. People bustled around him, not only to get food but walking past on the nearby street. He moved his attentions between the motions of the water and of the passers-by.
A figure moved out of the bustle towards him: a Yetoman with scruffy, uneven hair who walked with a slouch and downcast demeanour, his hands shoved into his pockets. He stopped short of the table, close enough to speak; his eyes flicked up for a moment to look at Lucca before they dropped again. Something about his posture suggested shame. “Hey.”
Looking up, Lucca regarded him flatly and after a moment offered a curt nod. “Hey.” He sat back slightly and looked up at him, “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Mhmm…” was all he said in response. He tapped the toe of his shoe against the ground a few times, still looking down. Eventually, he huffed and spat out quickly, “‘M sorry for fuckin’ up your marriage.” He slouched a bit further and added with a bit of a sidelong mutter, “I can leave if that's better.”
Lucca blinked, surprised, and after a few moments sighed heavily, “I never said that. And no, you can’t. One, I don’t want you to, that isn’t something I asked for at all, and two, because he’d never let you. Or, if he did, he’d be resentful and miserable about it ‘till the end of time. So no, it wouldn’t be better, for anyone.”
“Uugh,” Mako groaned, looking upwards and slouching exaggeratedly as he did. “Fuckin’ guy wouldn’t resent it, he’d just feel fuckin’ guilty.” He straightened and folded his arms, staring sidelong at the ground again as he muttered, “Stupid idiot can’t let go of anything…” He snorted before continuing, “He won’t tell me where he is, and I can’t magic around everywhere, so I can’t tell him what an idiot he’s being. So, I, guess I figured I’d tell you?” He scratched the back of his head, “I don’t know.”
“Oh, don’t you worry. I know he is. He will hear it, again,” he replied, and despite his calm tone his anger was more than clear.
“...Yeah. Yeah, you should...” he said slowly. He didn’t add anything else, but continued to stand awkwardly there.
Sighing once again, Lucca pushed out the chair across from himself with his foot. Gesturing to it he said, “Sit. Talk. You still have things on your mind, let’s hear ‘em.”
“Uuugh!” he groaned exaggeratedly, and though he didn't sit down, he started to pace and gesture about slightly, “The Hell am I supposed to do, right? If he doesn't freaking tell me to go and I do, he's going to get all depressed, and staying isn't good for anyone, but he's not going to say he needs me to leave, so the Hell am I even supposed to do here?”
“Nobody is fucking telling you to leave!” Lucca snapped, his temper flaring slightly.
“I’m fucking telling me to leave!!” he interrupted quickly. “I mean, fuck, you two are married and have kids and what the actual fuck am I doing sitting in your house? Like, actually! Why the Hell does he have me sitting in your house? I shouldn’t be sitting in your house! And he’s an idiot for putting me in your house and I’m an idiot for letting him, and rrrrg!” He pulled at his hair as he spat out, “He’s happy. Fucking Hell, he’s happy and you make him happy and I don’t want to fuck that up for him like everything else!” He dropped his hand and slumped, sighing heavily before tacking on more evenly, “...And I’m sorry for yelling at you in public and when you’re already on edge and really don’t need more yelling. I yell a lot. S’a problem.”
“You are an idiot.” Lucca said, a hint of bitterness lurking below his flat tone. “An enormous fucking idiot the likes of which the world has never seen, if you don’t get it. It is really not hard to see what the deal is with all of this here. At all.” With a frustrated huff he looked off over the water. “If anything’s fucked up, it’s because he went and fucked it up himself, of his own accord.”
Mako sighed again before stepping forwards. “Yeah, probably the size of it…” Kicking the chair leg, he spun it around to sit in it backwards, leaning on the backrest with his arms. He muttered quickly, “Not tryin’ to be weird or anything, but I’m wearing the illusion hat so I can’t sit in chairs properly.” He sighed again, “Ok. How’d he fuck up on your end, if it’s not that?”
He looked at him blankly. “If it’s not what?”
“I unno. If it’s not the fact that he’s keeping me, some random lunatic he just...literally frigging brought into your home one day and tossed in your living room, and who he refuses to evict and hey, probably even properly mention, because that’s what he does? Then what did he do?”
“He put your feelings, your theoretical, potential feelings, before everyone else.” He stated bluntly, not removing his gaze from the waves. “When I expressed concern about your behavior, about its effect on the kids in particular, he threw a legitimate tantrum and outright refused to so much as speak to you about it.” With a sigh, he finally turned back to the other man, meeting his gaze. “I mean this in the best way possible, but I know exactly who you were and what you have done, so much as I have been able to learn, and believe you me, I can learn with the best of them. And to have my partner, the only person who potentially could influence you outright refuse to even begin to try to keep you in check? Even for the sake of the children he is supposed to be caring for? That is fucking unacceptable. Utterly. Completely.” He gave a single, humorless chuckle, “So no, your apology is not the one I’m looking for. Really, you can’t be in the wrong here, because nobody would even fucking tell you you were doing anything wrong.”
Mako didn’t say anything immediately, instead drumming his fingertips lightly up and down on the table; the illusion made it seem like his hands weren’t coming close to the surface, but one could hear the light, rhythmic tapping of claws against the wood. “...So what am I doing wrong? Not saying I’m not, but...I unno, specifics?”
Lucca huffed; after a few moments, he began to list off his grievances, “...You interrupt and disrupt Virgil constantly to train. He can barely have any other interests, because you prioritize combat over everything else, and don’t let him focus on things he needs or wants to do instead. You harass him, demean him, get him hurt, and when you’re not doing that, you’re goading him into doing stupid, reckless, dangerous stunts, and when he hurts himself then, you laugh! And then no matter where we go, you’re intrusive, loud, obnoxious and embarrassing in public, and the girls are mortified…” his voice had been raising all along, and suddenly he stopped himself. After taking a steadying breath, he finished, "I can't do this right now. I came here to calm down and this isn't remotely helping. I’m sorry. I know you’re trying to help...We can discuss the specifics later, if need be."
The other man had been listening thoughtfully, and when Lucca cut himself off, he looked back up at him. He nodded slowly, “Yeah. Yeah, that’s fair...” as he leaned back, still looking thoughtful as he looked up at the sky.
Lucca sighed and dropped his gaze to the table. After a few minutes of pushing food around his plate he muttered, "I am sorry. For all of this, I mean. I...it wasn't what I meant to happen. At all."
Mako still looked upwards, "...Nah. 's cool. Not your fault, at least." He seemed to be leaning precariously, and lucca figured he must be balancing on his tail. The only response Lucca offered was a noncommittal shrug. Mako continued, "...Alright. Yeah, I'll step off. Sorry."
With a slight nod, Lucca muttered a small, “Thanks.” After a beat he sighed again and added more clearly, “Thank you, for coming out here to talk and stuff...and for actually listening. I appreciate it...”
“Yeah. No problem,” Mako stood back up and gave a small waving gesture, "Well, see ya then." He shrugged as he started to take a few steps back, "Osamu'll come around. Sometimes takes him a bit. But I’d bet anything he will."
This garnered a confused frown as Lucca looked up. “You’re done? You didn’t sound done…”
He shrugged, “You’re edgy; I can smell it. You’re trying to come down, and I’m only good at getting people riled up, so I don’t want to hang around.” He shrugged again, his affect lackadaisical, “I get where you’re coming from with the kid. I was trying, I guess? I figured I’d try, since he’s Osamu’s kid and all, and, you know.” He didn’t finish his sentiment, “But no one told me until yesterday that I was screwing it up, and I’m not surprised, I just figured…” he trailed off before giving his head a single shake, “Meah. Whatever. I shouldn’t be dealing with kids in the first place; knew that from the start.” He snickered, “You said you were reading up on me; you remember what my kids were named? ‘Cause I don’t. And they were probably better off for it.”
“Wait, you figured what?” he pressed lightly, a small frown of curiosity colouring his features.
He scoffed and grinned, “I figured I was helping! How stupid is that, right?”
Lucca shook his head. “No. I have no doubt that what you’ve been doing might have been helpful, in a different place, in a different time. It’s not stupid. You meant well enough, I know that.” This statement gained him a sort of curious look from Mako, but he didn’t interrupt. Lucca looked thoughtful for a beat, then went on with a dry chuckle, “Let’s be real here, this situation wasn’t any more fair to you, either. Maybe less. We all got hucked into a glorious jumble with no direction and barely defined roles...at least I’ve been playing on my own court. You didn’t even get that much.”
He still seemed to be considering something deeply, but replied off-handedly, “Nah, not so much...Not like my court is any good though…”
“Regardless, it’s easy to fuck up the footing on unfamiliar terrain.” He sighed and shook his head. “And on that note, again, I’m sorry. Because I really wasn’t intending for this to turn into such a thing. And it probably seems like you’re being attacked outta nowhere. And that’s shitty.” He looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fork. “I honestly thought he’d just go talk to you about it and it wouldn’t be a big deal...heh, goes to show what I know.”
Mako blinked, snapping out of his reverie for a moment to smirk, “What, Osamu willingly talk about something? Pfft.” He seemed almost vaguely morose as he added, “Though yeah, he’s spoken more since he’s been here than most of the rest of his life combined, so, I guess you…” He trailed off, giving his head one more shake as he returned to his expression of grave thoughtfulness.
Once more, a small frown spoke of Lucca’s confusion and he prodded, “What?”
“Hrmm…” he scratched the back of his head again before saying, “What you said before. That maybe I’d’ve been helpful in another place or time...Junko said that too...Hrmm…” His voice dropped as he added to himself, “I can’t really be the only one…? Hrrmn…” Speaking up, he turned back to Lucca, “This probably ain’t a good time...maybe remind me later? Hmn…”
Although his expression remained unchanged, Lucca settled back in his chair, and after a moment gave a conciliatory nod. “Perhaps you’re right...later, then.” He gave a faint, wry smile, “Now you’ve just gotten me curious, though.”
He smirked, “Hopefully the suspense means you won’t forget to bring it up.” He sighed, “But yeah, the rest is whatever. Still sorry I got shoved into your everything.” He dropped his gaze, and it seemed he might have been speaking to himself as much as Lucca, “Just don’t let me ruin it for hi-...either of you, I guess.”
He gave a soft, amused snort. “Sorry for the same, for getting all up in your space outta nowhere and scrambling everything up.” His amusement quickly faded, and his gaze dropped once again. “...I’m doing my best. We’ll see where it goes. Regardless, this really isn’t your fault. Seriously.”
He gave a shrug and a smug sort of smile as he said, “Not a lot of things are my fault, but I have yet to make much of anything any better.” He turned to leave, “See ya,” and quickly faded into the crowd.
Lucca watched him go and, after a few moments, he leaned back into his chair and resumed staring out to sea, deep in thought. He began to toss bits of his food to the seagulls nearby, and he smiled just slightly at their reaction.
==Loyalty==
Uuugh why won't you respond?! Mako’s telepathic message was frustrated, though what was behind the grousing wasn't anger but sorrow. I just…where are you? I know, I *know* you don't want to talk about anything but…but, arrrgh… Mako had, at first, avoided prying too far into Osamu’s affairs. He had left three nights before and Mako had respected his privacy, but now he was starting to be concerned: if Osamu didn't come back today, it would mark three full days where the kids didn't know where either of their parents had gone. Mako had spoken to Lucca the day previous and was in no position to tell him to go back, but telling Osamu was entirely different. Taking the Lightning Transit stations his family had unique access to thanks to their relationship with the Webbers and Komatsus, Mako made his way into continental Yeto. Osamu would not reply to his mental entreaties but that wouldn't stop Mako from looking for him. The archdevil could teleport anywhere in the world, but Mako secretly hoped that he wouldn't have gone too far. Mako was far from human: he could run faster than any mortal and never tire. So it was that he dashed towards the Miyagi Province. He had no idea where his friend might have gone, not after having lived this seven-year-life and coming back a changed man, but he knew where he would have gone if it was two hundred years ago, back when they were both humans.
There was a particular stretch of cliff that overlooked the ocean. It wasn’t terribly far from Miyagi Castle, and though that place had changed dramatically over the years the countryside itself was largely the same. Rocky and barren, the waters were too treacherous for boats and the ground was too uneven, hard and remote to be good for anything at all, leaving the place desolate of all but shorebirds. Mako stopped at the shore and sniffed at the air: his sense of smell could put dogs to shame, but more than that, he could smell emotions. Over the acrid scent of salt and seaweed, he could catch the taste of muted sorrow. Carefully, almost respectfully, Mako made his way towards it. There was a certain spot, almost invisible, where a foolhardy climber could lower themselves down the side of the cliff. It used to be exciting, trying to make it to the sheltered ledge below, knowing that a slip meant death. Now Mako’s climbing prowess was almost supernatural and he wasn’t even phased as he clambered down head-first like a lizard. Tucked into a crevice on the cliff side was Osamu, hidden in his Yetoman form and meditating silently. Mako crawled onto the ledge and curled up to sit nearby, looking out over the water. It was far from the first time they had played out this scene here. Mako waited quietly.
Eventually, Osamu opened his eyes. He made no other move besides, and Mako stirred only to speak, “You’ve gotta go back sooner or later. Your kids are getting worried.”
“Junko is managing it,” he replied. Neither man seemed to show much of any outward emotion as they spoke, staring out at the water rather than look at each other.
“She’s managing the girls,” Mako corrected. “Virgil’s worried. And you know how she is with him.” Osamu did not respond. The waves crashed against the shore, filling the silence. It was a long time before Mako said, “You need to tell me to leave. I can’t go myself. You know that.”
“I do,” he said. “I did not tell you because I do not want you to leave. You know that. Or you should.”
Mako snorted, kicking his one leg out in front of him. “...I don’t need pity, you know. I get you found a new life. A better one. You didn’t need to bring me here to ruin it.”
“I have no pity for you,” Osamu said evenly, his affect as flat as ever. “You know why you’re here. That will never change, no matter what I do, no matter who I meet, no matter where or when or who I am.” The rolling waves hit the rocks below them, sending up spray. “...Would you like me to say it? Does that change something that we both know? Make it more real?” Mako said nothing, so Osamu concluded, “No matter how much you think you need me, I need you more. I need your guidance. I need your support. I need your presence. Without it, I am lost. And you know that.” The tip of Mako’s heavy tail slowly flicked up and down passively. “...It was selfish of me, to bring you here. I will admit that. But I believed my thoughtlessness was directed towards Lucca, not yourself. Do you honestly doubt your place with me? Do you truly believe yourself threatened? You, of all people?”
He did not turn, and his voice was even, “...Yes.”
“Do not,” was Osamu’s blunt reply.
A ghost of a grin cracked the edge of Mako’s inhuman mouth, “You seriously going to say I’m above your husband?”
“No. You are not. But then again, you are not my husband. You never have been, and you never would be, would you?”
Mako considered that for a moment, “...No.”
“Then for me to take a husband should not alter your place.”
“What place is that?” he said with a subtle hint of sullenness. “It’s not like you need a general here.”
“General does not fully capture your role. You know that. Friend does not fully capture your role. Neither does brother. There is not a simple word for what you are so I do not try and force one. The words are irrelevant but the simple truth remains that I need you by me, regardless of everything else. There is no one else like you, to me, and there never could be.” Mako did not reply.
After another long silence, Osamu continued, “I was summoned here to fulfill a contract. I brought you to satisfy my own desires. But this is Lucca’s life. Lucca’s home. And just as you are bound to my orders, I am, in a fashion, bound to his. If he does not want you here, then you will need to wait for my return in Hell. It is not what I want, but my desire cannot be tantamount in this case. I am not the lord here.” Osamu’s voice gained an edge of authority as he spoke, “However, I can say this with certainty: I know you would wait. I know that you would not desert or tire. I will return to my kingdom in Hell and I will make it what it is supposed to be. Your position there is eternal and undisputed and I know you will never abandon it. Lucca will eventually choose whether or not to join my domain but there I am lord and there my desire does reign supreme.” He finally tilted his head slightly to look at Mako, “We have suffered worse than separation. We would endure it again if necessary. I do not want you to leave. But I know that I can tell you to. I know that it would break nothing. It would change nothing. Your loyalty to me is utterly unquestionable.” His voice dropped slightly as it lost its authority suddenly, “I...hope that you don’t question mine…”
Mako turned to look at him, the sudden shift in his tone jarring. A beat passed before he grinned, “Nah. Never.”
Osamu sighed, leaning forwards. “...Whatever you might be...you’ll never be the one who threw your wedding band back at me…” Mako’s expression suddenly became shocked. Curling forwards on himself again, Osamu muttered, “I didn’t even know things were that wrong...and then…”
Pursing his lips, Mako crawled over to sit beside him. He looked at him with concern for a moment before saying, “...Go home. Talk to him.”
“Did he go back?”
“No idea,” he admitted. “But even if he’s not there yet, well, your son is, right?” He smirked sadly, “The two of you can hug and worry together.”
Osamu looked over at him with a slow incredulity, “He shouldn’t be worried…”
“Good. Go tell him that,” Mako replied.
“...You’re right,” he agreed. Sighing and composing himself, he turned back to Mako, “Thank you, for coming out here.”
“Meah, someone had to,” he shrugged. “S’what I do.”
“No one had to. And yes, it is what you do. But never think for a moment that it’s unremarked or unappreciated, even if I don’t say it.”
“You never were any good at saying things,” Mako smirked. He added seriously, “...You are a lot better now, than you ever were.”
“I’m trying.” He sighed heavily, “I’m trying.” He shook his head, “Let’s return.”
“Can a bum a ride?” he grinned, “Otherwise I literally have to run across the country again.”
Osamu returned the smile, “I suppose that can be managed.”
==The Girls==
Lucca stepped back into the house, a day and a half after he had left. “Hello?” he called as soon as his foot stepped into the door. The response was almost immediate: Xue came running out from the kitchen and wrapped him in a tight hug. Nuan was not far behind and quickly joined. Lucca returned the embrace fiercely.
“Where were you? Where did you go?” Xue asked, still clinging.
“I just went to Txamsem; remember that little town on the way to Granny’s? I just, had to deal with something, that’s all. I’m so sorry I left without telling you guys.”
“...Don’t do it again,” Nuan said quietly into his shoulder, “Please.”
“I won’t.”
As they hugged, Junko stepped out from the kitchen as well. She smiled serenely, “You’re back! That’s great. The girls missed you.” She smiled as she reported, “I told them that you and Osamu had just had a bit of a disagreement and wanted to calm down before you came back. See girls? I told you he wouldn’t be gone long.”
“...Is everything ok?” Xue asked quietly.
At first Lucca fumbled, but he quickly steeled himself as he replied, “Yeah...yeah, it is. You don’t need to worry.” He smiled as he looked at her, and she returned the gesture. After giving her another squeeze, he looked around, “Where’s everyone?”
“Rik is in the kitchen; he was showing the girls how to make almond cookies. Virgil is upstairs, last I heard from him.” She gave a dismissive wave, adding, “The other two haven’t been around since the other night, but I’m sure they’re just out on business. They’ll be back when they’re back.”
Lucca frowned slightly at that statement, but quickly turned his attentions back to the girls. After another minute of hugging, Lucca asked them about the cookies they were making, and the group returned back to the kitchen.
==Resolution, Part 1==
It was nighttime when Osamu returned to his house, three days after their argument. He quickly found Lucca in the kitchen, preparing a large batch of late-night perogies. Walking up behind him quietly, he cleared his throat to catch his attention; when Lucca turned around, Osamu kneeled down before him and bowed his head, “I apologize. I’m...so sorry. I did not treat you with respect, I spoke poorly, and I...allowed my priorities to become out-of-order. Please let me make it up to you.”
The gesture seemed to catch him off guard, and it was his surprise and confusion more than anything else that cracked his stony demeanor. He flustered a bit and blurted, “What are you-...Hey, c’mon now...you don’t gotta…with the kneeling and all...”
“I do,” he said firmly, not moving, “I do because I am terrible at interpreting and expressing emotions, and I don’t want you to think that I am not grievously sorry for my words and actions.”
Scrubbing a hand back through his hair, Lucca turned away slightly. He chewed at his lip for a few silent moments, and eventually, heaving a sigh murmured, “I know you are...I know. I...hrm…” he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath, “Thank you, for the apology. For the acknowledgement. I appreciate it…”
“I do value your opinions, very much so, and I shouldn’t have acted petulantly when your opinions didn’t match my own. I admit, that I am not...skilled, at handling disagreements graciously. My history has not given me much experience with it.”
He snorted, and the corners of his mouth quirked ever so slightly as he muttered, “That’s the truth.” Becoming more serious again, he added, “I’m sorry, I know what you’re trying to say...I know you come by it honestly, I know you don’t really mean to...sorry…” He looked away, “I’m...sorry my temper is...how it is. It only makes things worse…’specially things like this.”
“No, don’t apologize,” he said evenly. “I love you, and your temper, your fire, is part of that. You are who you are…” he sighed, “but I am who I am as well. I am not good with emotion. I’m not good at noticing it, or expressing it...but I have been trying. I have been trying...and to be told that I’m not was painful and discouraging.” He shook his head slightly, “That doesn’t excuse the fact that I lashed at you though.”
He blinked. “That’s not-...I didn’t...That isn’t something I meant to say...I’m sorry if it came out that way.” He looked away, thoughtful and concerned, and after a moment explained, “I guess...yes, kinda? I can see how it came off like that...And I’m sorry, that wasn’t a fair dig. But...what I meant was that it seems like you’re not trying with the girls in particular...It’s like...you saw they were nervous of you, so you got scared of them and just...pulled back, you know? So how could you know what they’re thinking or feeling? That’s what I was trying to say...” He sighed. “I didn’t mean to imply you weren’t trying at all...I know you have been…I know you’ve been trying so hard. And you have been getting better at it, really.”
“I’m not ever going to be good at it, certainly,” he said, voice still factual. “But I’m trying to be mindful. ...And I suppose yes, that is likely what I have done. Between that, and...cultural roots, I suppose you could say. There’s much more segregation between men and women, where and when I grew up, so it seems more...intuitive, for Junko to attend them more closely.” He shook his head slightly, “Please don’t take that for an excuse. It is my attempt at explanation. There is no excuse.” He continued, “Virgil is more vocally demanding of my attention than they, and the protocol with which I’m most familiar would state that I do attend to his instruction more closely than that of the girls. So it does seem that I pay him more favour, but I do care for the girls just as much, and...I fear I might have withdrawn from Virgil just the same, if not for his adamant disruption of that behaviour.”
Sighing softly, he moved to sit on the floor across from the other man, folding himself crosslegged. “Honestly? That’s okay. I get it, believe it or not. I do. If that’s more natural for you, more comfortable...and since I can tell you that it suits them fine too, really, it’s okay. Everyone wins and it all works out...” An edge of sternness entered his tone as he continued, “But. If you’re going to do that, and you mean to do right by them, then it means it’s that much more important that you listen to the people that do know their thoughts and feelings, who are close with them. To me and Junko, even if we’re saying things that you don’t wanna hear.”
Osamu nodded his head dutifully, “You are right.” He paused before continuing somewhat uncertainly, “I will do...something, about Mako…” Bowing his head again, he said more firmly, “I will take whatever actions you feel necessary for the sake of the children and yourself.” There was a bare hint of something strange in his voice: an almost pleading tone, “Please forgive my lack of intuition in this matter…”
Looking away, Lucca chewed at his lip for a long few moments, before finally saying quietly. “...I will. It’s okay.” There was a pause, and he added, “...Thank you. All I wanted was for you to speak to him. To ask him to...ease off, a bit. A bunch. Some.” He looked at the floor consideringly and went on after another moment, “We’ve talked. I dunno if he mentioned it. He was very cool about it. So it’s probably cool, now? Presumably?”
“...That is good, I suppose.” Osamu took on an odd expression for a moment, tinged with earnest worry. With a deep breath, he settled and continued, “What would you have me do in the future, in this regard?”
He shook his head slightly. “I’ll have to think on it, exactly. I mean, I could just say ‘be more intuitive and considerate of the effects that these things have on people’, but that wouldn’t be fair or helpful to you. Or ‘don’t flip out’, but then I’m just an asshole hypocrite.” For the first time in the conversation, Lucca looked over and met his eyes, and the barest hint of a smile passed across his face, “Give me a bit, and I’ll come back with some proper ideas, alright?”
Osamu took a second before he inhaled and nodded, “I’ll...do whatever you need done.”
“...I’m not gonna ask you for anything crazy, you know…” he muttered with a tinge of reproach. “Honestly, I swear.”
The other man was quiet for a moment, and Lucca could recognize his expression: the one he made when he was preparing to say something. Eventually he spoke, “...I...am sorry, for being so, difficult, with this subject. I’m...recalcitrant, have been recalcitrant...because I know there is only so much, that Mako can do, to restrain himself. He...has an aggravating, short-tempered disposition, and he...cannot control it. It has always been an issue, with his family, with others. It ran in his family, and his family did not help it. His brother did not help it. And his mother was the worst of all. The Hobgoblin Army excused much, because they train berserkers, and have more tolerance of erratic behaviour. But Yeto does not. And he was denied...everything of value, because of it. While being told to be better. To have more control. To act in certain ways that he could not attain.” He inhaled stiffly, “I can order him to do some things. Deny certain activities. But there is a line, I cannot cross. There are things of him I cannot ask. I cannot tell him to not be aggressive, or loud, impulsive, or jarring. Because we both know it is not something he can do. And I, can’t do that, to him.” He seemed to slunk slightly as he continued, “I do not know what he agreed to do. But, I can only assume he means to physically retreat. Because in many cases, that is all that he can do.” Tilting his head further, he said, “This is a problem of my own creation. This is what I have made, by bringing him here. I know that he has good intentions and that he wouldn’t ever mean harm to this family...but you are not wrong, about my excuses for him, or for the realities of his behaviour. So, I do defer to your judgement. I will enact what changes need to be made, for the children, and your peace of mind. My hesitance,” he added quietly, “is from the knowledge that it is not as simple as it seems. But I will do what you want, to achieve the necessary outcomes.”
Lucca hung his head and for a few moments was silent, his face a picture of deep and uncomfortable deliberation. Finally, he said quietly but with complete conviction, “We will make it work.” He took a deep breath and looked back up at him, his expression a strange mix of emotions, “So long as everyone legitimately works at it...we will make it work. For all of us.”
Tilting his head up, Osamu looked at Lucca with an expression of tentative hope before nodding. “I will do anything.” He bowed again, “I had resolved, to do anything. Whatever needs to be done, no matter what it was. Because...because I love you, and the thought of you leaving…” he shook his head. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the ring that Lucca had tossed at him several nights ago, holding it gently and tentatively out towards Lucca, “I will do anything in my power, to do better...if, you’ll afford me that chance…”
Lucca stared at the ring in his hand for a moment that seemed almost painfully long, a strange look on his face. He swallowed a couple times and looked about to say something, but instead looked away and nodded reaching out to take the ring and saying softly, his voice almost a whisper, “...of course...of course I will.” He clutched it tightly and closed his eyes, shoulders slumping slightly, and after another beat, murmured, “...I’m so sorry...for...for that. No matter how pissed I might have been...that wasn’t right...that was fucked up of me...no...no reason for it...I’m sorry…”
Slowly, Osamu held out his arms tentatively in an open gesture. Lucca leaned forwards into the hug, eventually reaching around to wrap his arms around Osamu’s waist as well. Osamu shed the magical shift that made him appear human, and as he tightly hugged Lucca his wings joined as well, wrapping him in a sort of cocoon. Lucca nestled under his chin and gave him a squeeze.
After a few moments, Osamu muttered into Lucca’s hair, “Mind your food doesn’t burn…” Lucca snickered, and the two stood up to eat.
==Resolution, Part 2==
It was the night following Osamu’s return that found the two of them getting ready for bed, when Osamu asked suddenly, "...Are you that ready to leave, that that's all it took to make you act on it?"
Lucca stopped short in what he was doing, flinching as though he’d been slapped. When he recovered himself, he shook his head slowly, "...Spirits above, you can pick some ways to phrase things...frig."
"I-I’m sorry!" Osamu replied quickly, becoming visibly anxious, "but...but I didn't know that things were as wrong as all that, for you to react that strongly. I didn't know, I didn't know I was that wrong, and then suddenly from nothing to that...without a chance to do anything...I…” he tugged nervously at his hair, “I didn't know what to do, I didn't know if you might already be gone, I didn't..."
After a few more seconds of stunned incredulity, Lucca took a few steps towards him. Guilt was written on his face, and he tried to soothe him as he took the hand that Osamu pulled at his hair with. "No. No, I am not. I am not prepared to leave at all...not even a little. It’s the absolute last thing I want to do, ever." He gave the hand a squeeze, going on quietly, "But kinda like right now, you can pick one hell of a way to say things, and sometimes hit nerves without meaning to...especially when you're mad. And I know you can't help it, I know you don't mean it...But...the way you were talking...the things you were saying..." he shook his head slowly and looked away, "and then my temper didn't help either...I didn't mean to...I really didn’t realize until I was doing it..."
Osamu nodded with understanding, accepting Lucca’s words. "...Tell me. Please. Please tell me what nerves I was striking unintentionally. Please tell me so I do not do it again, so that whatever was building up that I did not see can be fixed. Please tell me what is actually wrong."
Lucca’s gaze dropped, and he chewed at his lip for a few long moments, his expression strained, almost conflicted. Eventually, he began quietly, “When we were...talking...whenever I said anything negative about Mako, or his behavior, you reacted like it was an attack. You went in to defend with teeth bared and all of your ice and immovability ready to build a wall and dig in for a siege or something. And I get it, I do. It’s how you are, it’s one of the best parts of you, the way you’re ready to defend those you love with everything you’ve got, whenever they might need it. It’s something I dearly love.” He paused and it was a few beats before he went on, “But...this time, there was no attack. I...was just trying to ask you to talk to him, really, and you reacted like I was asking you to kick him out, on the spot. And that unwillingness to bend, even a little...it...it sent a pretty clear, pretty blunt message…” He fell silent and closed his eyes, clearly considering something deeply.
Regarding the other with a gentle sadness, he bowed his head once while saying, “I’m sorry for that. I am. It...was a reflex. An overreaction. It is something I’ve had to do for a very long time: defend him and my choices to associate with him, to bring him places, and to trust his judgement in an official capacity. More often than not, it was to prevent having him removed, in one way or another. When combined with the other topics, and the heat of the moment…” he shook his head, “I acted poorly; I acted on reaction rather than reason.” He tilted his head to the side slightly, “I assume, when you refer to the message I sent, it was that I didn’t value your opinion, which is not true. Is that the case?” He added softly, “I cannot trust that I have correctly assumed any message…”
Making a face, Lucca rocked his head from side to side before eventually saying, “Not...exactly? It..hrm...lots of things sorta...nevermind that. It’s not what I’m talking about...” He sighed and took a deep breath. “When, after everything else was said, after everything I tried to say to you, about the effect his behavior was having not only on Virgil, but on the girls, and everyone else too, you outright refused to do anything at all about him, said that you couldn’t and wouldn’t, come what may...that...it...it sounds one hell of a lot like, ‘Mako first, before all others, unconditionally’.” He looked away, chewing roughly at his lip, and added quietly, “I know he means a hell of a lot to you but...he is who he is and there is no way I can raise the girls, especially those girls, in a household where the feelings of an aggressive, unpredictable, violent man are put so utterly and completely above their own. Nevermind...all...all the rest of it…” his shoulders slumped slightly as he finished, and he gave a rather defeated sigh.
Osamu considered those words deeply, and made to speak a few times but did not commit to any words. Eventually, he shook his head, “I admit that I defend him regardless of the realities of who he is, so I am trying not to speak purely in his defence now. I do not, and did not, intend to place his feelings above the girls, but I’ll admit that it’s what I did. ...I mentioned yesterday, that he cannot control his impulses particularly well. I know that it frustrates him, much more than he would ever let on, and so in turn I do not ask that of him. It’s...been a matter of trust between us, for a very, very long time. That is why I said I couldn’t control him, when pressed the other day. I meant...that I could not blithely place demands on him that would violate that trust. But I admit my overreaction to your reasonable concern. I admit that there has never been children involved before, and I have not been considering those outcomes.” He seemed deeply thoughtful, “...I suppose...it was well and fine when there was no one else involved...but that is not true anymore, and I must adapt. We both must adapt.” He exhaled heavily and looked towards him again, “What is ‘all the rest of it’?” Tilting his head, he asked, “...You don’t believe I place him above you?”
Nodding, Lucca seemed to ignore his question, “That’s really the heart of the problem though, right? There’s the way you guys have always done things, and it’s always worked out great for you...but, and I mean this in the least jerkish way possible but it’s hard to phrase any better…: You’re not a shogun anymore, and this isn’t feudal Yeto...this is just...a comparatively normal, middle-class household...just...a family...and things don’t work like they did before. And you’re usually pretty good at it, honestly. But Mako...not so much, always. And then both of you together...you don’t need to fight the same fights you used to; all the intrigue and posturing and crap of being nobles...you don’t have to worry about it anymore and feel like you’re gonna be held to those rules and standards. You can relax, you don’t have to defend anymore...but at the same time, you’ve gotta be a bit more aware of the rest of us and how the things you do sometimes affect us...and like you said, adapt a bit. That’s all I was trying to ask, really…”
“You are right,” he said, nodding. “The question remains, how best to change. What can we do to coexist in a way that benefits the children most, and that ensures your happiness...everyone’s happiness.” Osamu brushed back some of Lucca’s hair, dragging his fingertips along his cheek. “...You didn’t answer my question. And do not believe that I missed your other...curious omission, earlier.”
Closing his eyes, he turned his face towards the touch an odd, slightly sad tinge creeping into his expression. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” With a soft sigh, he looked back up at him, changing the topic once more, “I think...our best bet would honestly be to just...sit down and talk it out together. All three of us, pretend like we’re adults and all,” he said as he flashed a small, cheeky smile.
“A good idea; something we should have done years ago, I’m sure,” he agreed with his words, but his face still held concern. He brought his hand up and tilted Lucca’s chin, looking deeply into his eyes. His voice was gentle, but his words were firm as he spoke, “I’m asking you, to please, please, tell me everything that’s wrong. I never wanted to fight with you, but, I must sadly assume that we will certainly disagree on matters again. But not like that. I can’t stand thinking that any or every fight we have might end like that. So please tell me the heart of your concerns. If there are fears or grievances you do not say, I...I honestly may not realize they are there. And then they will grow and lead to heartache for both of us, and to everyone else besides.”
It was a long time before Lucca responded. Twisting his face from the other man’s hand, he stepped forward and buried himself into his chest, twining his arms about him tightly. “Won’t happen again...promise,” he mumbled.
Osamu wrapped his arms about Lucca’s shoulders, holding him. A sad frown tinged his expression as he stroked Lucca’s back. “...A weed without leaves will grow back, if the root is not pulled. It may not be fast, and it might not be in quite the same place. If we don’t solve the deeper problem, it will return in some shape.” He hugged him, “Please.”
The other man made a small sound of frustration and leaned against him more heavily. “Don’t start using plant metaphors against me…’s cheating.” He chided. Sighing, he added weakly, “I already said everything important...I swear…”
“Lucca, even I can tell something is still upsetting you.”
“Yeah, you and your persistence, right now!” he snapped back, adding on its heels, “Ugh, I’m sorry…Uugh,I’m honestly just keyed up from the other night still. It’ll pass.” Pulling away, he rubbed at his face with both hands, speaking in a muffled rush through them, “But because you’re so set on it… I guess it’s just, things weren’t very accurately explained when you brought Mako and Junko here and I get it and it’s fine it’s just...sometimes frustrating and can be kinda upsetting I guess? But not really and not usually so it’s not even really a thing? And it’s by far the less important part of any of this, so whatever.” He looked over at him with a tinge of reproach, “Good?”
“...No…” he replied, his expression curious and soft, “I think the things that are neither ‘really’ nor ‘usual’ are likely the worst, because those would be the things that get overlooked the longest, but are still ‘really’ and ‘usual’ enough to grow and fester.” He seemed thoughtful, “I’m...terribly sorry for...inaccuracy. I admit, for that first while, after everything happened…” he paused to shake his head, “I was thinking things through even more poorly than normal. I made mistakes, mistakes I can’t change now, but I certainly don’t want to leave them unaddressed if they are causing problems.” He tilted his head and asked gently, “Can you tell me what about it frustrates you? Perhaps I can explain better, or can clarify...put something to rest, or change something so it no longer troubles you?”
Turning his gaze to the ceiling, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his agitation palpable. “I don’t know...I just...It’s...hrng…There’s nothing to change, nothing to address!” He waved his hand dismissively as he said, “I just didn’t realize we’d all fit how we fit and that’s cool I just…” He gave him a faint half-smile, “...gotta do some adapting too.” Letting his gaze fall to the floor, his gaze became distant, his expression inscrutable. Eventually he said lowly, “I can share...It’s not my favorite thing, but I can do it, and it isn’t a problem. I just wish that could’ve been clear from the start that that’s what would be going on here. But I get it, and I’ll work with it. I have been working with it. And it is fine.” He paused, and with a deep breath turned away. It was some time before he went on, and as the seconds ticked by his growing distress seemed to fill the room, becoming almost palpable. Eventually he said haltingly. “I can share...but...If I’m gonna be second… ...I’m not gonna leave, that wasn’t what I meant. Not in that sense, anyway... I don’t break my promises. And I love you...for better or worse...but...If I’m gonna be second then right now I have a title that doesn’t belong to me. And if that’s how it is, then it doesn’t sit well, doesn’t feel right.” Arms wrapped around himself tightly, he shook his head and added much more firmly, “But that isn’t what is important here, wasn’t what was important the other night. The kids are. Not this.”
Osamu regarded him gravely for a moment before placing his hand on Lucca’s shoulder. “You are not second. I love you. Always, always remember that. You are my husband. You are my love, a light in my life. You are the one I have built a home with, have children with. You are so many things to me. Yes, Mako is many things to me as well. He is dearly important to me, yes, but he is not you. He is not what you are to me, and he never will be any of those things. He could never have your place, or outshine you.” Osamu sighed, “With Mako...for the vast majority of our long lives, we are all each other had, and now we are somewhat inextricable. My loss of memory was a double-edged event, and in my senseless panic upon returning to Materia I introduced the two of you with absolutely no grace or tact. In my selfish desire to keep both of you close, I did not think of the outcomes, for either of you. And when nothing was said, I assumed everything was well and I left it. Just some of the numerous mistakes I made.” He shook his head, “But the feelings I have for Mako are not those I have for you. They are not the same as the ones I have for you, and they do not undermine or detract from my feelings for you. He is not what you are to me, and what you are is certainly not lesser, in any way.” He brought his hand up and brushed his thumb over Lucca’s cheek, “You are not second.”
He leaned his cheek into the other man’s hand, but did not turn back around. “...I love you.” He murmured softly. “I’m sorry. I told you it wasn’t something to talk about. Not needed. Dumb.”
“It is not dumb,” he said firmly. “If it is something that worried you, it is not dumb, and the worry that you might be less than another is not a worry to take lightly. So do not be sorry: it is my fault for not explaining, as you said, and I hope to make it up to you so you never think of yourself as secondary again. ” He pulled Lucca into a hug, “So please. Please tell me if anything ever troubles you, big or small, and especially those things that you keep trying to tell yourself aren't problems, like that. Then I can explain, and we can adapt, and we can make things better.”
With a heavy sigh, Lucca leaned into the embrace, and after a moment turned and buried his face in Osamu’s chest. A few moments passed, Osamu said quietly, "Can I ask one other thing?"
“Mhmm,” Lucca affirmed.
"Earlier, you said you couldn't raise the girls like that. Why exclude Virgil? Especially since it seemed it was mostly concern for Virgil that sparked this exchange, so it isn't as though you don't feel it is impacting him."
The question caused Lucca to stiffen. After a long, tense silence, he said flatly, “It’s not my place. Not my decision to make.”
This assertion caused a visible confusion in Osamu. “...What? Why?” He shook his head slowly, “I mean, I suppose your role as his parent wasn’t particularly clear when he was born, but at this point, isn’t he just as much your child as the girls?” To this, Lucca’s only response was to turn his face away and bury it a little deeper into the other man’s chest. Osamu patted his back gently, still flummoxed, “Why would it not be your place?” He winced, “...Is it because of my actions earlier?”
“Because it’s not,” he mumbled into his chest. “Never has been. Just not how it works.” After a moment he sighed and pulled back slightly, saying more clearly, “I can make decisions like that for the girls, and enforce them, and do some good with it, I like to think. I can’t with Virgil. And even if I tried, nothing good would come of it. So no, that’s up to you. All I can do is talk to you about it.”
Osamu sighed heavily, his expression worried and sad. “I’m...sorry you feel that way. That nothing good would come of your actions, or that for some reason you ‘can’t’ influence his upbringing. It’s not true. You’re a good father. To the girls and Virgil. You shouldn’t feel like you aren’t important in his life and upbringing. You always have been.’ He gave him a tiny smile, “Some would say you’ve been his father just as long as I have.”
Closing his eyes, Lucca returned the tiny smile, and gently rested his head against Osamu’s chest once more. “Thank you...I love you.”
Pulling him into a tighter embrace, Osamu said, “I will try to be less overbearing and dismissive. They are terrible habits I have. But do not exclude yourself from Virgil’s life and well-being. Don’t think yourself unable or unwanted. It is entirely your place to help raise him.” Running his hand up and down Lucca’s back, he continued, “You must be less dismissive of yourself. Hiding feelings like these, that you’re unworthy or unfit or lesser than others, will only cause grief.” He added quietly, “Burying things, is never good. Even I know that...”
Sighing, he muttered sidelong, “I wasn’t burying anything...just trying to sort it without bothering you…”
Smiling slightly again, Osamu said lightly, “I vaguely recall, on a boat years ago, you worrying about having children because it wasn’t your place to.” He stroked Lucca’s hair, “Perhaps it is time to ‘bother’ me. I love you and I want to help. I want you to feel happy, and proud, and comfortable. But I can’t help if you hide things. I am shortsighted, and I need your help as well.” He nestled his face into Lucca’s hair, “...I want to be better myself.”
Lucca looked down and after a moment said quietly, “I guess you’re right...we’ve both gotta work on some stuff...together. Regardless of...anything else.” He nestled under Osamu’s chin and hugged him tighter. “We’ll get it right.”
Returning the hug, Osamu nodded, “We will.”
==Nacho Talk==
With a very casual air, Lucca pushed up the hatch to the attic, holding a plate of nacho chips with melted cheese. It was a few weeks since the fight had been resolved, but since then Mako had been making himself noticeably scarce. He had withdrawn from common areas and for the most part was nowhere to be seen, though if someone looked, he was often just hanging around in out-of-the-way places: the roof, the edges of the property, and, like now, the attic. He had hung a hammock here between the rafters and he hung lazily in it, one of his legs and his tail hanging off to the side. He opened an eye to regard Lucca as he entered; he held up the plate and said casually, “Hey.”
Mako gave a small grin, asking with a snirk, "Hey. How'd I rate room service?"
"Because I'm a fatty and was eating nachos and didn't wanna stop. I never said they were for you," he shot back in a clearly teasing tone, offering the plate towards him.
"Tch!” Mako returned the sarcasm, “Calling me to help with your nacho problem? Must be bad; sounds like a better job for your elf friend." Regardless, he reached out with his long, clawed hands and helped himself to the chips.
"I dunno man, I've seen you wreck some bar food with the best of them. I think you'd win that competition, if we put you guys to it." Taking a handful of the nachos himself, he sat on the floor nearby. "So. You had a tale to tell me. Or some sort of musings, at any rate."
He paused in his crunching, thinking for a moment before visibly remembering something forgotten, "Oh! Right!" He suddenly became more serious, sitting upright. "Right." He looked thoughtful, humming to himself before he turned to Lucca, "Fair warning: this probably won't be news you wanna hear. But...but I'm a bit worried now that I'm the only one who knows it, not just the only one acting on it like I thought. Maybe you do know already. But maybe you don't, so I guess I've gotta tell you. If you're ready for some bad news."
With a sigh, Lucca leaned back on his hands and looked up at him. "Yeah, go for it. I don't like not knowing things."
"Cool. Here's a question for you then!" his voice was conversational, almost light, but there was a sinister sort of gravity to it, "In a world where nothing goes wrong, what is Virgil going to be when he grows up?"
Lucca tilted his head back slightly, "Whatever he feels like? Probably some sort of adventurer?" He gave Mako a dry smile, "and now you'll tell me why I'm wrong?"
"Not wrong,” he shook his head. “But part marks for an incomplete answer." He tilted his head a bit, "I'm...really just trying to figure if you know."
"Clarification time: are we actually talking about 'when he grows up'? Or 'after he dies'?"
"Heh," Mako grinned broadly: a rather sinister look on his devilish face. "Phew! OK, you've got the right idea there. So, do you see where I've been coming from then?" He sighed, "I know Osamu isn't thinking about it at all. He never did, he won't have started now. And Junko....eeeeeehhhh. Sheeee...she has an agenda that's not as hidden as she'd like. But when you were all 'that would've made sense way back when', I was worried that you weren't making choices so much as you didn't know."
He gave a half chuckle, "Astonishingly, I am not quite as stupid as I look. Heh, sometimes."
Mako returned the grin before regarding him more seriously again, "So what's your endgame?"
"Allow him a well adjusted, pleasant Materian life while it's available to him. He has all the time in the world to become a ruthless hell-prince. He only gets one opportunity to be a human kid." He finished with a shrug, "That's the idea, anyway."
Mako sighed at this. He had a begrudging sort of thoughtfulness about him as he replied "...That’s what I'm worried about. I mean, that’s why I treat him like I do. More or less, right? Like, I'm not that hard him, not as much as I should be."
Lucca sighed, "I do get it, believe it or not. But I don't agree with it. Not now, not if it means screwing up his Materian life in the process. Because again, if it's his afterlife, as it were, that you're concerned with, then there's plenty of time to prepare him later."
"Ooooh, no no no no...." Mako shook his head, bringing his clawed fingertips to his brow, "No, no no, that's not how it is...I mean, I get it! I get your sentiment! But that's...that's not how it works. Least from what I've figured." Lucca cocked his head, his expression asking for further explanation; Mako obliged. "Ugh, you don't...you don't die, really; you’re remade. It’s not like you just said: he’s not going to be a sweet loveable guy one day, die, and suddenly wake up a devil king the next, all prepped and ready.” Mako explained slightly haltingly, like he was having trouble quite figuring out the best words to capture his thoughts. “Osamu takes what's already there and just...twists it, makes it into a devil. You don’t die and stop being who you were and start being someone else. But...you still are someone else, right? It’s hard to figure out...like, Osamu, Junko and I, we were all already messed up people, right? But we were people who knew how to handle our messed-up urges. Then we were devils, and if you knew where to look, you'd see that we’re all just our old worst parts. Junko was always a bit of a vindictive, jealous bitch. I was always psycho. We didn’t get new problems; just the old ones got worse. Devils are evil, right? Made of evil. Evil’s like...a compulsion. Way more than ever before, and it’s just, amping up the habits that were already there. But we are still who we were. S’weird and complicated to explain, right? So, with the kid, I got to thinking...what’s going to get made if he doesn't have evil?"
Lucca sat there, looking off in thoughtful silence for a long moment before saying quietly, "I wouldn't worry about him not having any evil. This world will take care of that on its own. It doesn't need any help...nobody gets out unscathed."
“No...no, that’s not...hrm…” Mako said, shaking his head almost sadly. “It’s not good enough to just see it or have it happen to you, not if you had a comfy childhood. ‘Specially not that kid. I mean, for real, he’s disgustingly noble and optimistic, isn’t he?” he said with a half-grin; it was not meant to be an insult, perhaps even some sort of compliment, “How’s he going to grow up into anything but a great person?” He grimaced as he added, “...who’s going to be absolutely destroyed when he becomes a devil.” Mako shook his head, trying to explain, “I get what you’re saying, and I get what Osamu and you are trying to do. I get you want what’s best for him, I get that you want him to be a good kid...but a good kid is gonna get wrecked by Hell. Wrecked. A person who was always good, suddenly compelled to be evil? That’s gonna be hella messy, for everyone...” he spoke sidelong, looking away, “...and I didn’t want Osamu to have to...handle that.” Mako exhaled heavily, “Hell will drag out whatever twisted shit is in his soul; better he knows his issues, knows how to deal with ‘em, instead of getting blindsided by dirty secrets he never played out, or maybe evil he never even had. He’s gotta have something...so make it his ambition, yeah? Prod him more. Make him want more. Make him think he’s the best, but not the best, to make him go even farther. Make a lesser evil now, so it’s not some messed up violent shit that he picks up by being a merc later on. Chasing perfection’s always been one of his dad’s problems; it’s not a bad sin to have. It’ll make him strong. ‘Cause that’s the other problem, right? Kid wants to be an adventurer. Kid’s gotta be strong, or he’ll die. Simple. But, if and when he decides to follow dear old dad? You gotta be brutally strong to live that process. And what you are at the end? A really weak devil. Like, you don’t get how weak you’ll be. How weak he’ll be. Look at the kid now. He already won’t let his dad into his mind; you think when he’s an adult, after he’s survived being an adventurer here, he’ll let daddy protect him? Course not. You can already see him doing that; I could see him doing that when I first showed up. If he doesn’t know how to train, if he doesn’t know how to discipline and get good, really good, quickly, then he’ll just get ripped apart by the first devil he runs across, when he’s a big-shot adventurer who doesn’t need daddy’s protection with the body of a weakling and a head getting overwhelmed by urges.” He shrugged, “He’s gotta be trained in how to train, and that’s why we schooled ‘em real young back in the day. Guy’s’d go to war, and it’s no good waiting ‘till they’re an adult; it’s too late to hammer that discipline in. Too late to get those habits. You gotta start young. So...I started.” He leaned back into his hammock again, “Like I said...I was trying. Dealing with something Osamu won’t think about. Didn’t think I was doing too bad. Considering.”
Lucca’s expression had grown more and more distant, more and more inscrutable as Mako went on. He sat staring into the middle distance after he finished as the moments ticked by. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath through his nose and stood up, clearly intent on leaving. “Well. Learned something new. Thanks for explaining it to me.” He looked down at the floor, perhaps thoughtfully, “...Good talk.”
Mako looked over to him and added, “...I get he’s not my kid. I get it’s not my place.” His tone of voice held no bitterness or disappoint as he spoke, “I get that I’m Osamu’s pet dog he dropped off here, and I shouldn’t be messing up things that ain’t my business. Particularly not kids’ lives. Particularly not your kid’s life. So I meant it. I’ll step off.” He held up his hand in an open gesture, “Your show. Your dance; I’ll follow your lead.”
“He’s not-” Lucca cut himself off with a twist and shake of his head, and started over. His voice and tone remained miles away as he went on. “This is not my anything. I’m not leading anything here. I’m no more qualified than you are or anyone else...or anything at all. I just do what I can to help him. Just...trying to do my best of it. Just...yeah. ...Yeah.”
At Lucca’s sudden denial, Mako blinked. His confusion was almost immediately replaced by a wry smirk, “God help us all then, ‘cause my judgement credentials are shit, and I don’t think Osamu is exactly calling himself qualified.” He became a bit more serious as he said, “I don’t think you’re doing a half bad job, at any rate. For what that’s worth.” He grinned, “Especially considering you have a psychopath and a giant bee living in your house.”
Lucca returned the grin with one that didn’t touch his eyes, “Heh, thanks. Certainly keeps it interesting! Between the bunch of us, maybe we can keep from fucking up too brutally, in this round or the next! Here’s hoping!”
“Woo! Teamwork!” he replied sarcastically, matching his sentiment with an arm gesture. He settled back more, “But seriously, one of you needs to tell me what the Hell I’m supposed to be doing? ‘Cause I’m either gonna keep doing what I was doing, or I’m just going to live up here for the next forty years.” He shrugged, “Or in the pond. Pond’s pretty cool. Live among my fish brothers.”
Shaking his head slightly distantly, he replied, "I know, we will soon. I'm sorry...you've just...given me some new things to consider..."
With another shrug, Mako replied, "Alright. Figured it wasn't a great thing to hear, but, also figured you should know my reasons, right?" He added off-handedly, "Don't worry too much about it. Not like I’m not consistently wrong about things. Maybe I'm wrong about this too."
Lucca nodded seriously, "No no, thank you for letting me know. It is important to consider, at the very least." He looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding thoughtfully to himself and starting for the stairs, leaving the rest of the nachos behind.
Mako waved lazily, “Thanks for the chips.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Lucca turned back and added casually, “Dinner should be in about an hour. Rik is making that pasta with the pine nuts and terrific cream sauce.” He gave a bit of a smirk, “If you don’t get there, I’ll definitely eat yours.”
It seemed the invitation took him a bit off-guard, but he returned the grin, “Heh. Don’t you dare.”
“Don’t be late then!” With that, Lucca popped back downstairs. As he closed the hatch, his look of trepidation and thoughtful concern returned.
Category:Advent of the All