SCP-TRENCH MUCK

Item #: GSCP-7272
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of GSCP-7272 is a long, dangerous and and tedious task. Firstly D-class staff are dressed in period accurate Great War uniforms, based on the region they are sent to. Secondly they are sent to Site-47 with shovels and Mason jars (unrelated to SCP-2103) after an egregious process of getting permission to use SCP-2003. The process consists of unavailable HR staff, vague and confusing collections of paperwork and the poor internet connection experienced by site-███, where GSCP 7272 is held. After going through the worst part of the containment procedures, the c̶o̶s̶p̶l̶a̶y̶e̶r̶s̶ D-class staff members go to various periods of WWI to collect samples of GSCP-7272 with shovels. The samples are then poured into the mason jars and sealed with standard issue lids. On return, the staff immediately put the jars in a storage room... somewhere... next to Dr. █████'s office... maybe. Reports from staff about the shovels being too large for the task have been issued (despite previous complaints that the standard issue dining spoons were too small for the task). Further improvements in equipment are planned to be made... probably
Description: GSCP-7272 is a wet, stinky, mustard gas contaminated, gross, icky, slimy, brown, pile of muck in a perfectly usable Mason jar. These muck piles are completely useless, they serve no purpose. Dr. █████ requested that it be collected for "extremely serious and groundbreaking research that might just change the world for the better". No results of said research has been shown. Suspected sentience of the muck has been suggested by Dr. █████'s assistant, Dr. ████████, after he found multiple traces of the muck in the doctor's office, computer keyboard, lab coat pockets and bathroom. Further surveillance of the doctor has been done without his awareness, multiple recordings have been made. For the reports, he will be referred to as SCP-7272-a
===Reports on GSCP-7272-a ===
==== Case-01 ====
7272-a: Ah that feels so fucking ████. I need more of this shit, hmm.
a loud knock on a door is heard, followed by a sound of glass shattering
7272-a: Fuck off, I'm busy with something extremely important!
==== Case-02 ====
Dr. ████████: Doctor, is there anything I can help you with?
7272-a: No! go do something else and leave me be... I have some important things to do that you are not yet worth informing about
Dr. ████████ is in the same class as SCP-7272-a and is only volunteering to assist it.
==== Case-03 ====
7272-a's therapist has reported that it has stopped attending therapy after the last session where it "kept blabbering on about some magic history soil that can fix all of his problems". The therapist was promptly neutralized
==== Case-04 ====
7272-a was seen storming through the hallways near his office
7272-a: Who took one of my jars! There were one hundred and thirty two jars last time I checked and now there's only one hundred and thirty one! Which one of you fuckers took it!
The missing jar was soon discovered to be the one broken in case-01, which he failed to account for while doing his check. Only 3 D-class staff members were injured during the incident
Category:Characters