Life of Hoopla

Life of Hoopla is CartoonGuy's Spin-Off Kings' Spin-Off Because Yes' fourth episode. It aired on December 31, 2020, was written by CartoonGuy277, and its theme was coming of age.
== Transcript ==
French Narrator: Hello. Today, in this very special episode, we’ll be looking at the life of one of the biggest celebrities of the Sexual Batshit Fuckery Wiki. We’ll start with his rise to fame, at Goo Lagoon.
[The episode starts at Goo Lagoon, where a young Hoopla is running around]
Hoopla: [notices Lou in an ice cream stand] Ooooh! [goes to the ice cream stand]
Lou: Oh hello young kid! Want some ice cream?
Hoopla: Yes please!
Lou: What flavor? 
Hoopla: Chocolate, please! HOOPLEASE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHOOPLA!
Lou: Hahahahahahaha, yeah, very funny! I sure do get it! [gives the chocolate ice cream to Hoopla] That’ll be two bucks. 
Hoopla: Hooplabucks?
Lou: Heh, no, dollars.
Hoopla: Fine. [gives Lou two dollars and walks off]
Lou: Thank you!
Hoopla: Time for some deliciousness! [eats some of the ice cream] …………..HOOPLA! HOOPLA! HOOPLA! [he bounces around happily]
[Cut to Mr. Krabs, also in Goo Lagoon, who looks around in confusion]
Mr. Krabs: What the hell was that? Sounds like a lot of-
Hoopla: [bounces around Mr. Krabs] HOOPLA! [he’s about to bounce away, but Mr. Krabs grabs him] Hoopla?
Mr. Krabs: Me boy, what’s your name?
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, erm, okay. I am the boss of the famous restaurant known as the Krusty Krab.
Hoopla: Oooooh.
Mr. Krabs: You see, me and the Krusty Krew are working on a little thing called: The Krusty Krab Training Video. Lately, there have been some people trying to get a job in me restaurant, just because they assume a rich crab like me will give them a *laughs* high pay check! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, they are hilarious. Well, in order to stop these greedy evil people, we’re making a strange video we’ll show to the public so they know what it takes to work at the Krusty Krab, a strange job. We’ve hired a professional cameraman, and even some actors, and I think YOU would be a perfect actor for the video!
Hoopla: Me? An actor?
Mr. Krabs: Lad, I think you’d be a great actor! Your energy reminds me of me childhood…..
French Narrator: FLASHBACK
[A young Mr. Krabs comes out of a bank with a bag of money]
Mr. Krabs: Hehe, nice work, Eugene. Next stop, Scrooge McDuck!
French Narrator: END OF FLASHBACK
Mr. Krabs: He wasn’t real. [wipes off a tear] So, what do you say, eh? Do you want to act in old man Krabs’ video?
Hoopla: Mmmmmh……….
Mr. Krabs: You’ll be real famous, y’know? You’ll be the most popular kid in all of Bikini Bottom!
Hoopla: POPULAR?! HOOPOPULAR?! HOOPLA! I’LL DO IT!
[Cut to in front of the Krusty Krab, where a cameraman who is right next to another person, Hoopla, and Mr. Krabs]
Cameraman: Okay, so, in the next scene, you’ll get to act, Hoopla kid.
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Cameraman: And you’ll be saying just that! When this guy over here says “Sounds like a lot of…” you say “HOOPLA!”. This’ll happen twice, then this guy will say “Sounds like a lot…” and you’ll say the thing before he can finish the phrase. Then we’ll scroll over to you again and you’ll say it again! Got it?
Hoopla: Uh……...HOOPLA!
Cameraman: I’ll take that as a yes. Prepare the Krabby Patty! [someone puts a Krabby Patty in the sand] LIGHT! [a jellyfish holding a light in the sky shines the light on the Krabby Patty] Hoopla, your position!
Hoopla: [goes near the Krabby Patty but away from the shot of the camera]
Cameraman: ACTION! [turns on the camera]
Person: Sounds like a lot of…
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Person: Sounds like a lot of…
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Person: Sounds like a…
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Cameraman: [moves his camera in the direction of Hoopla]
Hoopla: HOOPLA! [Mr. Krabs, who is not seen by the cameraman’s camera, throws a brick at him, knocking him unconscious]
Cameraman: [moves the camera back in the direction of the Krabby Patty]
Person: Sounds like a lot of hoopla to make over a little Krabby Patty, right? *chuckles* Wrong!
Cameraman: [turns off the camera] Well, that scene’s done with! Nice job everybody!
Person: You sure showed some nice brick-throwing skills there, Eugene.
Mr. Krabs: Well, I didn’t win a Manly Toughness Trophy in me navy days for nothing, now did I?
Cameraman: Erm, what do we do with the hoopla kid?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, um, I’ll leave him at Goo Lagoon. 
[Cut to Hoopla unconscious at Goo Lagoon, with no one else around]
Hoopla: [wakes up] Woah…….[gets up] what happened? [looks around] Hello? Anyone? No? ……..Did I dream the Krusty Krab thing? Weird dream. I should get home now, my family must be worried.
French Narrator: Just you wait, Hoopla. A few days later…..
[Cut to a classroom, where Hoopla is surrounded by his classmates and their teacher comes into the room]
Teacher: Class, today is a very important day. We won’t be looking at books or anything, but we’ll be looking at a video made by the heroes of Bikini Bottom, the people working at the Krusty Krab!
All of the classmates except Hoopla: HOORAY!
Hoopla: HOOP-WHAT?!
Teacher: We’ll be looking at it live, it’s a message to the public by Eugene Krabs! [looks at her watch] Oh crap, we’re already late! [grabs a TV from under her desk and turns it on, and the Hoopla scene is on]
Narrator (TV): Sounds like a lot of…
Hoopla (TV): HOOPLA!
Narrator (TV): Sounds like a lot of…
Hoopla (TV): HOOPLA!
Narrator (TV): Sounds like a…
Hoopla (TV): HOOPLA! HOOPLA! [a brick is thrown at him]
The teacher and all of the classmates except Hoopla: [stare at Hoopla, then start laughing hysterically]
Hoopla: AAAAARGH! WHAT IS GOING ON?!
One classmate: HEY HOOPLA, LET’S SEE IF YOU CAN DODGE THIS!
[The classmate throws their chair at Hoopla, who dodged it]
Hoopla: AAAAARGH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! [he looks around, and sees everyone looking at him menacingly with big objects in their hands] I hate you all. [he runs out of the school as he is chased by people and dodges objects being thrown at him] I HATE THAT CRAB! [he jumps into his house and immediately closes the door]
Hoopla’s mom: What’s wrong, Hoopla?
Hoopla’s dad: Did you accidentally drug the teacher again?
Hoopla: No, I-
[An object is thrown at the window, breaking it]
Hoopla’s dad: HOLY-
Hoopla’s mom: EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL US! [throws Hoopla out of the window] GET HIM!
Hoopla: NOOOOOOO! [he runs away from everyone chasing him, and eventually trips on a rock, making him roll over on the floor quickly all the way to Jellyfish Fields] Uuuuh……...no one here?
[Jellyfish fly near him]
Hoopla: Oh, sweet! No people around to kill me! I’ll live with jellyfish all my life!
French Narrator: Then puberty arrived, a few years later…
[Cut to acoral tree in Jellyfish Fields, and particular sounds are heard from it]
Hoopla: [comes out from behind the coral tree, looking slightly older] Oh YEAH! That was awesome! [eats grass]
SpongeBob (offscreen): HAHAHAHA! This is so fun, isn’t it, Patrick?
Patrick (offscreen): Erm, SpongeBob, the jellyfish caught-
[Electrocution is heard]
SpongeBob (offscreen): PATRICK NO! I’ll help you, buddy! I-AAAAAARGH! LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE!
[Electrocution is heard]
Hoopla: What the hell is going on? [he goes in the direction of the voices, and sees two jellyfish nets on the ground] Oh, hunters. [he goes a little bit more to the direction, and sees two jellyfish near SpongeBob and Patrick, who are tied to a coral tree] Well well, what do we have here. A sponge and a starfish.
SpongeBob: Wait a minute…..I recognize you! You were the Hoopla guy in the Krusty Krab Training Video! Remember that? You know, you are such a good actor!
Hoopla: DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT! THAT VIDEO RUINED MY LIFE!
SpongeBob: It did?
Hoopla: YES IT DID! EVERYONE WANTED TO THROW THINGS AT ME! MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME! I HAD TO RESORT TO LIVING HERE!
SpongeBob: Wow…...I am so sorry that happened to you. You know, I work at the Kristy Krab, and-
Hoopla: WELL TELL THAT GREEDY CRAB TO EAT DIRT! FREE THESE TWO, JELLYFISH!
[The two jellyfish untie SpongeBob and Patrick]
Patrick: Hooray! Hey SpongeBob, want to-
SpongeBob: Not now Patrick, could you just…...leave me alone with him for a while?
Patrick: Oh, I see how it is! Well, fine! Have it your way! [storms away from Jellyfish Fields]
Hoopla: What more do you want, sponge?
SpongeBob: The name’s SpongeBob. What’s your name?
Hoopla: Hoopla.
SpongeBob: Well, Hoopla, I’m sure the people who wanted to throw things at you were just kids!
Hoopla: AND MY TEACHER! That old witch…..
SpongeBob: She’s probably in a retirement home! The point is, those kids are now teens, just like you! They’ll do anything trendy, and currently, the Krusty Krab Training Video is what the kids call a “dead meme”.
Hoopla: Forget it, old man! They’ll recognise me and try to kill me all over again!
SpongeBob: Well you’re probably right, but not if you……..COME INSIDE ME!
Hoopla: Excuse me?
SpongeBob: Just enter from one of my holes into my body! You’ll be hidden, and when I reveal you to the world, you will gain immediate respect as the guy who went inside SpongeBob SquarePants! 
Hoopla: That seems incredibly weird!
SpongeBob: Hey, do you really want to eat grass for the rest of your life?
Hoopla: [picks up a bit of grass] …...Grass, this is goodbye. [eats that bit of grass]
[Cut to Patrick sitting on a throne, with various Bikini Bottomites bowing to him. SpongeBob comes running towards them]
SpongeBob: What the-
Patrick: Oh hello SpongeBob. Look what I did while you were busy! Jealous?
SpongeBob: Uuuuh, kind of, yeah, but, I need everybody’s attention!
Patrick: EVERYBODY ATTENT SPONGEBOB!
SpongeBob: You know what’s cooler than being SpongeBob SquarePants? Being inside SpongeBob SquarePants!
Female sponge: *high-pitched scream*
SpongeBob: Today, someone went inside me: HOOPLA! [gets Hoopla out of one of his holes] Cool, right?
Patrick: Uh, ok. CONTINUE BOWING!
SpongeBob: Well, I’d say this story ended happily!
Hoopla: Uh, no one’s throwing things at me, so yeah, sure.
French Narrator: Years went by, and Hoopla formed a friendship with various Bikini Bottomites, even attending SpongeBob’s birthday parties. And now, he is old.
[Cut to and old Hoopla sitting on a chair]
Hoopla: Heh…….heh……..hoopla…….HOOPLA! *COUGH*
[Hoopla dies peacefully on the chair]
French Narrator: Then a certain human fished out the dead fish.
[Cut to and old CrazySponge staring at a box full of water, where the dead Hoopla is]
CrazySponge: Come on, wake up! [throws a brick at Hoopla] HE CAN’T BE DEAD! Why, I’ve been obsessing over you since I was…….uh……..how old am I?
Someone offscreen: TWELVE!
CrazySponge: MUTE YOUR MOUTH!
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