Strike It High Striker Transcript

High Striker (V.O.): My name’s High striker, and I’m a Bad ride
High Striker (V.O.): Let's see...I’m 13 feet tall. I get no riders. Got a little bit of a temper on me.
High Striker: Hey, you rethemed my ride! Aaaarrggghhhh!
High Striker (V.O.): My passion bubbles very near the surface, I guess. Not gonna lie. Anyhoo, what else? I’m a striker. I strike things. Professionally.
High Striker: I’m Gonna Strike It.
High Striker (V.O.): I mean, I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know. The thing is, People only go to old town for Saw The Ride.
High Striker (V.O.): So yeah, naturally the Gerstlauer eurofighter is the most popular ride in Old Town. He’s cool enough as cool rides go. Definitely gets a lot of riders. But if you’ve got a beyond vertical drop, how hard can it Be.
Leftside Rush: YOO-HOO!
High Striker (V.O.): If he was a regular coaster junior ride, I guarantee he would not be able to get as much riders as he does. when Saw gets loads of riders, he gets a medal. But are there medals for getting three riders a season? To that I say, “Ha!”
High Striker: Ahhhhhhhh!
High Striker (V.O.): A-a-and no, there aren't.
High Striker (V.O.): For 16 years I've been doing this, and I've seen a lotta other rides come and go. How sad. I think about all those guys from Octopus Garden? Boom! Gone. Slammer? Who knows where that guy is, y'know? Hey, a steady theme park gig is nothing to sneeze at; I'm very lucky. It's just, I gotta say, it becomes kinda hard to love your attraction when no one seems to like you for doing it
Rita: All clear! The uk theme pakrs closed!
Galactica : Whoo! What a day. So, you want to head to the Donut factroy, oblivion?
Oblivion: If you're buying, Galactica.
Saw: Quitting Time!
High Striker (V.O.): I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way if things were different after the park closes. But it is what it is.
Saw: Good job, everyone!
High Striker (V.O.): Saw and the other rides go hang out in the dome, and everyone, you know...
High Striker picks himself up from the mud. He watches sadly as the other Rides ignore him and go to the dome.
High Striker (V.O.): They go to the dome, I go to my ride which happens to be boring. And when I say "boring," I don't mean like a shabby place. I mean my ride, where a few riders go, that's... That's what I call home.
High Striker climbs up the brick pile he calls home.
High Striker (V.O.): I guess I can't bellyache too much. I got my high striker, I got my hammer.
He pummels the seats into dust and pulls a blanket. He stares longingly at the building.
High Striker (V.O.): It looks uncomfortable. It's actually fine. I'm good. But, if I'm really honest with myself, I see Saw up there, getting patted on the back, people are giving him donuts and just so happy to see him all the time.
High Striker (V.O.): Sometimes I think...
High Striker: Man, it sure must be nice being a cool ride.
High Striker sits in a room full of bad rides. Catopillar claps in response to High Striker's confession. A sign on the wall reads: “BadAnon: One Ride at a Time.”
Catopillar: Nice share, High Striker. As fellow bad Rides, we've all felt what you're feeling and we've come to terms with it.
High Striker: Really?
Colossus: Right here. I am Colossus. I am Bad Ride.
ALL: Hi, Colossus.
High Striker: Hi, colossus.
Colossus: I relate to you, High striker. When i hit lifthill , I was crushing man's skull like sparrow egg between restraints. (smacking his thigh) And I think, "Why do you have to be so rough, Colossus? Why can't you be more like smooth Ride?" Then I have moment of clarity. If Colossus is smooth Ride, who'll crush man's skull like sparrow egg between restraints? And I say, "Colossus, you are rough Ride, but this does not mean you are 'bad' ride."
Catopillar Claps of understanding.
High Striker: Right. I'm sorry. You lost me there.
Ghost Train: Ghoooost Traain! Laaame Riiide!
ALL: Hi, Ghost Train.
High Striker: Hi, Ghost Train.
Ghost Train: Colossus saying labels not make you happy. Cool! Bad! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You must love you.
Cobra: Yeah! Insssssssssside HERE!
Cobra rips out Ghost Train’s heart, shows it to High Striker.
High Striker: Okay. All right, I get you. Watch out. It's dripping.
Catopillar: Question, High Striker. We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now, and tonight you finally show up. Why is that?
High Striker: I don't know. I just felt like coming. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that... Well, today is the 43rd anniversary of my park.
Rampage: Happy anniversary, High Striker.
High Striker: Thanks, Rampige.
Rampage: Uh, it's RamPAGE, actually.
High Striker: Got it. But here's the thing.
(SIGHS)
I don't wanna be a bad ride anymore.
Vampire turns into a scared bat; Catopillar turns into a cacoon; the bad-Anon rides gasp.
Cobra: You can't messssss with the program, High Sssssstriker!
Hero: You're not goin' Space Zero, are you?
High Striker: Space Zero? No, I'm not going Space Zero! C'mon, guys! Is it Space Zero to want huge queues? Or a medal? Or a donut every once in a while? Is it Space Zero to want more out of life?
Ghost Train: (bluntly) Yeeeeeeees.
Catopillar: High Striker, High Striker, Get a life now fuck off we get it. But we can't change who we are. The sooner you accept that, the better off your ride and your life will be.
Colossus: Hey. One game at a time, High Striker.
Catopillar: Now Let's close out with the Bad Ride Affirmation.
They all stand up and join hands.
ALL except High Striker: I'm Bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no ride I'd rather be than me.
The TITLE burns in over High Striker:
Strike It High Striker
Catopillar: Okay gang, see you next week.
Cyclonator (O.S): Listen, I can't do snacks next week.
Rampage: Hang in there, High Striker.
Catopillar: Hey, Ghost Train, don't forget your tickets .There you go.
Cookies in hand, he catches up to the group on a cable train headed to
GAME CENTRAL STATION
The train runs through the power cord of a Black Mirror Labyrinth ride and reaches the underground. The Bad Rides get off and enter the station, which resembles UK's Ride Central Station, providing entrances to other theme parks in the UK and full of THEME PARK RIDES bustling about.
High Striker passes through the entrance, and a safety feature, Anti Rollback Dog, appears. A buzzer sounds.
High Striker: Ugh.
Anti Rollback Dog: Step aside, sir. Random security check.
High Striker: Random, my hammer! You always stop me.
Anti Rollback Dog: I'm just an anti rollback dog doing my job, sir. Name?
High Striker: Kingda Ka.
Anti Rollback Dog: Name?
High Striker: Strike It High Striker!
Anti Rollback Dog: And where are you coming from?
High Striker: Uh... Black Mirror Labyrinth.
Anti Rollback Dog: You bring any cookies with you?
High Striker hides the cookies behind his back.
High Striker: Nope! No. No cookies.
Anti Rollback Dog: Okay, then. Where are you heading?
High Striker: Uh, Thorpe Park Old Town.
Anti Rollback Dog: Anything to declare?
High Striker hits Anti Rollback Dog in the nuts with his hammer
Anti Rollback Dog: I get that a lot. Proceed.
High Striker walks through the station eating his cookies.
Blue Grand National: Bad ride coming!
Grand National, Oblivion and Windmill Towers scurry away at the sight of High Striker. He passes a screen displaying a PSA video narrated by Saw.
saw (IN PSA): If you leave your theme park, stay safe, stay alert, and whatever you do, don't get out of operations. Because if you get out of operations outside your own theme park, you don't reopen. Ever. Game over.
High Striker comes upon a group of homeless characters, Colossus amongst them, who hold a sign: “Ride Closed for being too rough. Please Help! Duhh!” High Striker hands Colossus a cookie.
High Striker: Here you go, Colossus. It's fresh. Straight from Black Mirror Labyrinth's. Hang in there, colossus.
Colossus drops his cookie and High Striker steps on it.
He approaches the entrance to the Thorpe Park portal. The one crumb on the cookie caught the buzzer sounds and Anti Rollback Dog appears.
Anti Rollback Dog (nursing his balls): Name?
High Striker: (GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION) 
There is a party in the dome and X is a dj. The monsters university party music is playing.
High Striker arrives at a small station on the train. CRACK! SIZZLE! High Striker looks up just as “WE LOVE YOU SAW” fireworks burst over the Thorpe Park apartments. He notices lights flashing in the dome and grabs some binoculars.
High Striker: "Happy 43rd Anniversary"? They're having a party without me.
Eating her way across the buffet table is Black Mirror Labyrinth.
High Striker: Black Mirror Labyrinth? They invited Black Mirror Labyrinth!? That cookie-black mirror maze isn't even part of this park anymore! (SLAMS THE BINOCULARS ON THE GROUND, SHATTERING THEM)
Oblivion: Great party, Saw.
Saw: Why thank you, friend.
Vortex: Saw, you’re needed on the dance floor!
Vortex drags him onto a colorful dance floor. Saw does his Saw-it Saw dance. Everyone follows along.
Other Rides: Oooh-oooh! Saw-It Saw! Oooh-oooh! Saw-It Saw!
The door bell RINGS.
Saw: Oh! I'll bet that's Hyperia. Shes Fashionably late, per the norm.
Detonator: I'll get it, Saw.
Detonator walks to the door and opens it.
Detonator: AHH!
A smiling High Striker fills the door frame. Before the bad Ride can speak, Detonator slams the door on him.
Detonator: It's High Striker!
MURMURS of shock and confusion.
Zodiac: He'll bore the party!
Samurai: bfirdnhfhfrjkebcfhfe! (Hide Myself!)
Walking Dead: Get rid of him, Saw.
Saw: Oh, right. I'll go talk to him. Carry on, everyone.
High Striker still stands at the door. Saw slips out.
Saw: High Striker, can I help you?
High Striker: Hey, Saw. Just wanted to check on you. I saw a big explosion or something go over the building there.
Saw: Oh, those were just Detonator's fireworks.
High Striker: Fireworks. Okay. Phew. Somebody's birthday, or...
Saw: Well, it's more of an anniversary. The 43rd anniversary of our park, actually.
High Striker: What? Is that today?
Saw: I know!
High Striker: Oh, I'm such a dummy at remembering. Anyway, uh, congratulations.
Saw: Thank you, High Striker. And to you, too.
Awkward silence. Finally, the door opens. Samurai walks out.
Samurai: ikjbfhivjhgrhioegfjdveikeue (Just a quick heads up Saw they're gonna bring the cake in a few shakes)
High Striker: Hey, Samurai.
Samurai: HGIKRHFBHFKJHBRDGHJKERDHBGHCRFKJRHJEHBGFCJKNFBRHNJEHBGDN (WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU DUMB BITCH?!)
Samurai shuts the door, fast. And still talks
High Striker: Cake? Heard about this cake stuff. Never had it. No one ever seems to throw it out so it never ends up in the dump. I never actually tasted it. Uh... I've always wanted to try cake.
Saw: (shaking his head) I don't suppose you'd like to come in and have a slice, would you?
High Striker: (bursting in) Heyo, everybody! (Samurai is still swearing but then gets hit by the door and flies out the window smashing it)
High Striker's hammer slams into the ceiling.
Saw: AH!
A large chunks falls down on Saw and he drops DEAD. Everyone GASPS in horror. A little flower floats above Saw, and we hear a quick cycle of DEATH MUSIC.
Other rides (except Rightside Rush): (Gasp)
Saw suddenly regenerates next to High Striker.
Saw: I'm okay. I'm okay. Fit as a fiddle.
The rides (except Rightside Rush) all exhale in relief.
Saw: Now, you all know High Striker.
High Striker: Evening-
High Striker breaks the stairs with a single step.
High Striker: Evening, Quantum, Zodiac, Rush Twins, Vorteex
Vortex: Vortex...
High Striker: Big D!
Detonator: Why is he here???
Saw: He's just here for a slice of cake.
High Striker: And I'm a big part of the park, technically speaking. Why are you here, D?
High Striker bends down and he and D face off. Saw steps between them, breaking it up.
Saw: Oh, look! The cake!
Saw: Well, I'll be dipped. You've really outdone yourself, Rita.
Zodiac: Oh, and look! There's all of us at the top.
Rita: Each area represents good rides, okay rides and bad rides. Zodiac is in the good rides section.
Zodiac: Obviously.
Rita: As well as vortex, detonator and Saw...
High Striker: Hey, Rita. Um... What's the flavor of that sign that says "Worst Ride Ever" I'm stuck in there?
Rita: Hmm? Oh. Uh, seaweed.
High Striker: I've never been real fond of seaweed.
Rita: Well, I did not know that.
High Striker: One other little thing. I hate to be picky, but, y'know, this angry little kangaroo here...
High Striker picks up the little High Striker figurine.
Rita: My cake!
High Striker: ...might be a lot happier if you put him up here with everyone else.
High Striker: See that? Look at that smile.
Detonator: No, no, no. You see, High Striker, there's no room for you up here.
Detonator knocks Little High Striker back into the low podium.
High Striker: Well, what about this? We can make room. Here. We could take turns. Easy.
High Striker puts Little High Striker back on top of the cake and places Little Saw into the mud instead. The other Rides GASP.
Saw: How about we just eat the cake!
Detonator: Hang on. Saw needs to be on the top because he's about to get his medal!
High Striker: Well, how about we just take that medal and give it to High Striker for once?
High Striker rips the medal off, breaking the delicate fireworks, and puts it on little High Striker.
High Striker: Would that be the end of the world, D?
Detonator: Now you're just being a dick.
Detonator rips the medal off little High Striker, puts it on little Saw, and puts Saw back on the top. Detonator takes little High Striker off the cake.
Detonator: Only Cool Rides win medals, and you, sir, are no Cool Ride.
High Striker: I could be a Cool Ride if I wanted to, and I could win a medal!
Detonator: Uh-huh. And when you do, come and talk to us.
High Striker: And then would you finally let me be on top of the cake with you guys?
Detonator: If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the park! But it will never happen, because you're just the Lame Ride who strikes the rides.
High Striker: No, I'm not.
Detonator slams Little High Striker back in the mud upside down.
Detonator: Yes, you are!
Detonator: No, I'M NOT!!!
High Striker slams his hammer down right on the cake. SMASH! Chunks of cake and frosting cover the Rides. Black Mirror Labyrinth stops eating. Her mouth falls open in shock. 
Detonator: Yes. You. Are.
High Striker: All right, D. You know what? I'm going to win a medal. Oh, I am going to win a medal! The shiniest medal this park has ever seen! A medal that will be so good that it will make Saw's medals piss their pants! And good night! Thank you for the party.
High Striker exits.
Zodiac: Is he serious?
Detonator: Oh, please! Where's a Lame Ride going to win a medal? Of course he's not serious.
High Striker: I've never been more serious about anything in my life. That's why I came straight here, Donut Factory. You've never bullshitted me. Now, come on. Where can a ride like me go and win a medal?
Donut Factory: I don't think such a ride exists, High Striker.
High Striker: Oh, come on. You know people. There's got to be...
MALE CUSTOMER: Donut Factory, I need a donut.
Donut Factory: Coming! Hold that thought.
BACK INSIDE THE GAME: Donut Factory returns to High Striker's side.
Donut Factory: Okay. As you were saying.
High Striker: I was saying..
Donut Factory: Oop! Hold that thought.
BACK INSIDE THE GAME: Donut Factory returns to High Striker's side.
Donut Factory: Okay. As you were saying.
High Striker: I was saying, I can't spend another 15 years barely getting any riders. I'm not going back without a medal.
Donut Factory: Well, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe somebody left a medal here. You're welcome to dig through the lost and found.
High Striker digs through the “lost and found” crate. Behind him we see a hallway with the saloon doors on one side and restrooms on the other.
High Striker: Okay, let's see what we got here.
High Striker rummages through the box. A wasp flies around. High Striker SHOOS it.
High Striker: Fuck off Go on, get out of here. (back rummaging; Quantum's carpet) Quantum's Carpet? No. What is this? (Hey! Ho! Let's Go! plays) No. (a pair of shorts) Oh, come on, Colossus! Gross.
High Striker sighs, pushes the crate back into the closet, sighs.
High Striker: What am I doing?
Just then, Les cougar walks past High Striker.
High Striker: Hey, excuse you!
Les Cougar: (mumbling, shell-shocked) We are humanity's last hope. Our mission? Destroy the swarm. We are humanity's last hope.
High Striker: Uh... You okay there, space cadet?
Les Cougar: (traumatized) We've only been in the park for a week, and every day it's "Climb the lift hill, then fight the Swarm. Climb the lift hill, fight the Swarm!"
High Striker: Yeah, yeah. Right. Look. Easy on the hammer, flat earther. It's tough all over, all right?
Les Cougar: And all for what? A lousy medal?
High Striker: (Ding!) Medal? You win a medal?
Les Cougar: Yeah, Medal of Coolness.
High Striker: Ooh. Is it shiny?
Les Cougar: Eh-Pretty shiny.
High Striker: Ooh! And it says "cool" on it?
Les Cougar: Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
High Striker: And you say you win it by climbing the lift hill?
Les Cougar: AND FIGHTING THE SWARM!
High Striker: Right, the swarm. Listen, is there any chance I could go with you guys?
Les Cougar: Negatory.
High Striker: Does that mean maybe?
Les Cougar: No! Look, only the bravest and the best serve in the unsound.
The wasp flies around.
Les Cougar: SWARM! (SCREAMS)
Les Cougar runs off but slams into the wall and passes out. High Striker looks down at him and gets an idea. He also swats the wasp again.
MOMENTS LATER
Les Cougar: (dazed) We are humanity's last hope....
FEMALE ANNOUNCER ON PA: Attention! The park will open in five minutes. Please report to your rides.
High Striker (to himself): I can't feel my legs. What is all this stuff?
The helmet's visor is cluttered with stats and meters. Anti Rollback Dog gives him a sideways glare.
High Striker: . Okay, what was it called? Swarm Swarm something. Island Swarm Island
He sees soldiers in the same uniform going onto the Swarm island bridge. He follows. He trips over Colossus.
Colossus: Duhh!
High Striker: Sorry, Colossus. (LIFTS HIS VISOR) It's me, High Striker. Shh!
High Striker runs to the entrance of Swarm Island, bangs into an archway...
High Striker: The wall.
Colossus: Duhh?
The sun is up over Thorpe Park. Thorpe Park lights up the Logo.
Eve Rendell: Hey chickaroos!!!
A high-speed shuttle sweeps up to a stop. The doors open. High Striker and a few other soldiers run out.
High Striker looks around in awe.
ANNOUNCER OVER PA: Ride alert! Ride alert! This is not a drill.
High Striker: Sweet golden medal!
High Striker follows the other soldiers.
Zane goes into the queue.
Zane pulls his restraint down.
NARRATOR: In the year 2012 half organic mechanical aliens have invaded Earth you are humanites last hope.
Nemesis Inferno: All right. Now listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. Piss is a four-letter word, ladies. If you want to go pee-pee in your big-boy slacks, keep it to yourself. It's make your mamas proud time!
Nemesis Inferno: We are humanity's last hope. Our mission? Destroy the Swarm. You ready, rookie? Let's find out.
The door opens and the view is vicious.
High Striker: Sweet motherfucker
High Striker: No, no, no! Wait a second! Aah!
The soldiers shoot at Swarm's from all directions.
Nemesis Inferno: Alien, twelveclock. Take it, newbie.
As zane starts killing Aliens, High Striker runs around in a panic.
High Striker: No, no! Wait, wait!
He raises his gun and shoots randomly.
Nemesis Inferno: Watch it, rookie! These monsters will abduct you.
An alien grabs High Striker’s gun out of his hands and eats it.
High Striker: My gun! Give me that back.
The Aliens arms MORPH into guns. It starts shooting. High Striker SCREAMS and runs away.
Nemesis Inferno: Shoot the eggs before they hatch!
IN THE PARK: Zane looks confused.
Nemesis Inferno steps into frame, grabs High Striker, and throws him off-screen.
Nemesis Inferno: Les Cougar! Get back in formation! (getting back on script) All right, ladies, the kitten whispers and tickle fights stop now.
Nemesis Inferno: The entrance to the church is straight ahead.
High Striker: I'll meet you guys inside!
Nemesis Inferno: No!
He runs for the building.
High Striker: Oh! Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
High Striker: I thought this was going to be like Rocky Express! Since When did thorpe park rides become so violent and scary!?
High Striker (O.S): Please, get me out of here!
High Striker: Take her!
SAW'S ANNOUNCER: GAME OVER...
Zane: MOTHER FUCKER
BACK INSIDE SWARM ISLAND: High Striker grapples with the alien who tries to eat him.
High Striker: Ah! Get off me! It's game over. Stop it!
A Beacon light suddenly shines through the center of the building and out the top.
SOLDIERS: Beacon up!
OFFICERS: Cease fire! Ceasefire!
ANNOUNCER: Attention! Return to start positions. Return to start positions.
High Striker: Here, let me help you. Sorry about that.
High Striker: Yeah, you must be upset.
Nemesis Inferno: Les Cougar!
High Striker: Who? Whoa! Oh, yeah, me. I'm Les Cougar.
High Striker stands at attention, chin raised, to avoid detection. Nemesis Inferno kicks his nuts.
Nemesis Inferno: What's the first rule of Swarm Island?
High Striker: No 18 coconutties?
She kicks him in the nuts again.
Nemesis Inferno: Never interfere with the first-person rider. Our job is to get the riders to the top of that lifthill so they can get a medal, and that's it! So stick to the program, soldier!
High Striker: Right. Right. Aye, aye.
ANNOUNCER: Quarter alert! Quarter alert!
Nemesis Inferno: All right, pussies. Back to start positions!
High Striker: (Kicked in the nuts for the third time) Oh! Yeah, right. No way I'm going through that again.
He looks at the top of the building.
High Striker: So that's where they keep the medal, huh?
Zane looks at Depth charge. He throws his apple onto one of the lanes. Zane: Hmm. Sweet! Hit my motherfucking apples.
Zane watches. Jacob and Kian slide down and throws Zanes apple into the trash.
Jacob: AYYY? Get away! Thats not safe.
Kian: Yeah! Naughty Naughty
Zane: Sorry motherfuckers.
Zane sighs, goes over to old town to go on high striker. 
Zane: Wheres the motherfucking drop tower?
Samurai: Japanesed
Detonator: Shh! Stick with the program.
Saw: (through gritted teeth) High Striker! Rider alert! Ride on!
Zane tries to play normally. Saw, unable to resist, follows with his actions.
Vortex: Do something, Saw!
Saw: Just act natural.
Saw: High Striker! High Striker!
Zane: What the???
Saw: High Striker! HIGH STRIKER!!!
Saw runs towards High Striker’s attraction. High Striker’s not there.
Saw: Fuck! Where is he?
Zane: Eve
Eve Rendell: What's the trouble chickaroo?
Zane: The ride wont hit my motherfucking apples.
Eve rendell takes a look. She can see the Rides panicking on screen while Saw tries to calm them down.
Eve Rendell: Oh, Thats weird. Sorry, chickaroo. Here's a free fastrack.
Zane: But what about the motherfucking rides?
Eve Rendell: I'll have someone look at it tomorrow. 
Saw and the Rides watch in horror as an orange CLOSED sign eclipses the park light.
Detonator: Ladies and gentlemen, we're closed.
Samurai: (Japanese)
Zodiac: They're gonna destroy our rides!
Leftside rush and vortex hug each other. 
Leftside Rush and Vortex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Saw: Okay, everybody, calm down. High Striker probably fell asleep in the washroom of Donut Factory's again.
Just then, a light approaches through the cord.
Saw: (relieved) See? There he is now.
The tram arrives, and out is Colossus, not High Striker. 
Colossus chews off Quantums carpet.
Quantum: Chewing carpets has finished. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Oh dear colossus has made Quantum very sad.
Saw: Why it IS Colossus! What bring you here, neighbor?
Colossus: Colossus see high striker hit colossus hotdog.
Detonator: What's he saying, Saw?
Saw: Stand by. My Colossus-ese is a little rusty. (CLEARS THROAT) Saw wants to know what colossus has seen.
Colossus: Colossus see high striker wear incorrect clothes and walk into
Saw: Colossus see high striker walk into
Colossus: Colossus see high striker walk into Swarm island
Saw: (GASPS) Does this mean high striker has gone space zero?
Colossus: High striker has gone space zero
Saw: High strikers gone space zero!
(ALL GASP)
Lightning flashes across the sky. High striker forgone the armor and he’s climbing the building. High striker reaches the top. He peers in the window, sees:
A sea of eggs leads to a chamber in the middle of the room. Inside the chamber floats the Medal of Coolness.
High Striker: Shiny.
ANNOUNCER: Attention! The park is now closed.
SOLDIER: Did you get a load of Les cougar?
Nemesis Inferno: Shut your chew holes. (Hears something) Swarm
We hear a BLING. BLING. Saw steps out of the shadows.
Nemesis Inferno reels around starts firing.
Nemesis Inferno: Taste it!
Soldiers open fire on Saw, too. He springs into action, bouncing, dodging bullets and laser beams. BLING. BLING.
Nemesis Inferno pins him down.
Nemesis Inferno: Slick Tiddlywinking, spikey.
Saw: I'm saw the ride ma'am. From the territory old town.
From the low angle, looking up at her.
Saw: (lovestruck) Trippy trappy! Look at that high definition. Your face! It's amazing!
Nemesis Inferno: Flattery don't charge these batteries, civilian.
She lets him up. Her soldiers share sly smirks.
Nemesis Inferno: Now, state your business.
Saw: Oh. I'm looking for my colleague, Strike it high striker?
Nemesis Inferno: Never heard of him.
Saw: Well, Colossus saw him go in here.
Nemesis Inferno: Impossible. Nothing gets past me.
A CLANKING is heard from above.
Soldier: That came from the tower.
ON THE TOP FLOOR OF THE LAB:
High Striker punches the window, breaks it, and steps in. 
High Striker: Nice eggs. Nice eggs! Okay. That was easy.
He climbs the steps up to the chamber, triggering a giant hologram to appear.
GENERAL swarm Fox: Congratulations, soldier. It is my honor to bestow upon you the Medal of Coolness.
High Striker: Wow!
High Striker: No way!
GENERAL swarm fox: Ten-hut!
More holograms of space Colonels and Generals surround him.
High Striker: (LAUGHS) Wow!
All the holograms salute, as does the General.
GENERAL SWARM FOX: History will long revere your coolness and awesomeness.
High Striker: Well, thank you!
GENERAL SWARM FOX: You have etched in the rock of coolness a legacy beyond compare.
High Striker: Thanks, guys. At ease!
GENERAL Swarm FOX: You are the universe's greatest hero.
CRUNCH! High Striker steps on an egg.
GENERAL Swarm fox: The embodiment of all this corps represents..
The baby alien attacks him. As High Striker fumbles, every egg he touches glows green. All he does is the exact opposite of what the hologram says:
GENERAL Swarm fox : Bravery. Integrity. Awesomeness. And above all, coolness.
High Striker stumbles around, flies back and into one of the space pods. A harness immediately locks him in place. The door slams shut.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Escape pod activated.
In slomo, the pod flies right by Nemesis Inferno and Saw. As it passes by, Nemesis Inferno sees the swarm.
Saw: High Striker!
Nemesis Inferno: Alien
The pod flies out of the game through the tunnel to Park Central.
Something beeps. It’s the EJECT button!
High Striker and the alien are catapulted out of the ship. High Striker is flung into a tree. The alien continues on and slams into a nearby tree. It falls into a swamp.
High Striker: Sayonara, fucker!
From a tree, High Striker turns to see the vast, destroyed land before him.
High Striker: Amity cove?
A huge Amity cove sign glistens. Shitty go-karts whizz across a shitty race track.
High Striker: Oh, no! This is that american village destroyed by a tidal wave over by the jungle. I gotta get out of here.
He wipes the stickiness off on his shirt and realizes that his medal is gone.
High Striker: Oh, no! My medal! (Stutters)
The medal is on stealth track.
High Striker: No, no, no, no, my medal!
High Striker: No, no no! My medal!
THe only way is in the queue lien. 
??? (O.S.): Hey, lame ride!
High Striker: AHHH!!
Stealth: Hi.
High Striker: you scared me, cat. 
Stealth: What's your name?
High Striker: Uh... High Striker. Strike it high striker.
Stealth: Hey why do you have a pouch if youre a boy?
High Striker: Uh, I don't know. why is your tail so bent?
Stealth: Well, why are you so
Stealth: Sweet motherfucker a gold coin
High Striker: Don’t even think about it. That is mine.
Stealth: Race you for it! Stealth goes on his train and high striker grabs on
High Striker: Hey! I don’t have to race you for it, because it’s mine! 
The train launches and high striker is crying.
the train makes it to the top and Stealth grabs the medal.
Stealth: The winner! 
High striker loses his grip and hits stealth and makes him lose the medal.
Stealth: Whoa! 
High striker grabs the train and the medal and its at the brakes. High striker is shaking so much Stealth easly grabs the medal from him.
Stealth: Thank you.
He hops off the track to the ground
High Striker: Look, wait! Let me talk to you for one second. Here’s the thing, I’m not from the candy tree department.
Stealth: Lying to a cheetah. Shame on you, High Striker.
High Striker: But I wasn’t lying about the medal. That is my medal! That’s why I was climbing the tree. It’s mine! It’s precious to me.
Stealth polishes the medal, admiring it.
High Striker: That thing is my ticket to a better life!
Stealth: Well, now it’s my (glitches) ti-i-i-i-i-i-i-icket.
High Striker: What the…
Stealth: See ya, cunt.
High Striker: Come back! I’ll find you! I will find you!
Stealth (O.S.): Rollback!
High Striker falls into a bush
High Striker: Nowhere to hide!
Anti rollback dog: Yeah, he banged around in here like some kind of dumbass. Then he went barrelling down there into that area like a gay person.
Nemesis Inferno studies the entrance to Amity Cove.
Nemesis Inferno: Amity Cove. The swarm will take over that game faster than a chicken hawk in a coop of crippled roosters.
Saw: (following close behind) What was that now?
Nemesis Inferno: What are you thick? there was an alien on that shuttle! Do you even know what a swarm alien is?
Saw: I can't say that I do ma'am
Nemesis Inferno: The swarm is like a virus it doesnt know its a ride all it knows is abduct destroy kidnap but do you think that stops there?
Saw: YES!
Nemesis Inferno: WRONG! Viruses do not stop! Swarm dog! my cruiser.
Saw: Jeepers. Is she always this intense?
Swarm dog: It's not her fault. She has the most tragic past ever. The one day she didn't do a perimeter check...
Swarm dog(V.O.): ...her wedding day.
Nemesis Inferno and Slammer are about to exchange vows at the altar. Just then, a giant Swarm crashes through the stained-glass window and CHOMPS down on Slammer. Nemesis Inferno pulls out her automatic weapons and starts shooting.
Nemesis Inferno: She tries to shake it off. Saw hurries up to her in the tunnel.
Saw: Wait, Ma’am! I’m going with you. 
Nemesis Inferno: Fuck you.
She gives him a hard look, then scoots aside on her hover board, snaps, and points behind her on the board. He leaps onto it. And off they go.
Tidal Wave (O.S.):  (flat, sad voice) Citizens of Amity Cove…
Stealth: Just in time!
Tidal wave: All hail our rightful ruler, Flying Fish.
Flying fish: Hello, my loyal subjects! Ha-ha! Have some donuts!
Flying fish: Thank you for that drenched introduction, Tidal wave.
Tidal wave: Mmmmhmmm.
Flying fish: And thank you to today’s avatars. It was a wonderful day of racing, it was. But now the arcade is closed, so it’s time to wipe the slate clean and race to decide our new roster.
Flying Fish (over microphone): Yes, okay. Calm down. Listen, this event is pay-to-play. We all know this. All you need to compete is one gold coin from your previous winnings, if you’ve ever won, which (CHUCKLES) I have. Let me go first!
Flying Fish pulls a lever and tosses his coin onto a red lollipop which flips it into the huge cup. Flying Fish appears on a CONTESTANT board.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.): Flying Fish!
Flying Fish leaps into the air with a flourish and poses. The crowd goes wild!
The wolf girl tosses up her coin. We follow it and watch it land in the cup, where it turns into game code and then disappears into an abyss.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.): Luna Moonshadow!
Luna: Stay witty
More cats and wolves throw in their coins.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.): Shoreabreezel intertide! Alpha Orangeclaw!
Stealth scurries up to the back of the line.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): Crumbelina Di Caramello!
ON High Striker: High Striker, covered in swamp water, trudges his way towards the race track.
High Striker: Little stealer. Wait ’till I catch that bitch.
BACK AT THE TRACK: Racers continue throwing their coins into the cup.
ANNOUNCER: Minty Zaki! Snowanna Rainbeau! Raincis Coastalbay! Jubileena Coral Reef! Swizzle Malarkey! Sparklefur!
Flying Fish: Tidal Wave, who’s that last one?
ANNOUNCER (O.S.): Stealth Adrenalin Fearless Edge!
The crowd gasps in horror.
Stealth: Fuck yes! I’m in the race!
Flying Fish: STEALTH?!?
Luna: (GASPS) The bitch!
The crowd starts to panic.
Flying Fish (over microphone): Now, now! (LAUGHS) Everything is all right! SECURITY!!!
Two cat cops, RAINCHEL and DUNCAN, step toward Stealth with batons.
Duncan: C’mere, cheetah!
Rainchel: We're not gonna hurt you, you little freak!
Stealth makes a break for it.
Rainchel: Get back here!
Duncan: Slow down! Slow down a little bit!
Just then, seaweed-covered High Striker barrelling onto the track.
High Striker: You! Give me back my medal right now!
Stealth: Fuck
Flying Fish: What is that???
High Striker chases Stealth across the line. Stealth slips under a spectator’s box, but High Striker lifts it up. High Striker follows him, flipping over box after box. Spectators scatter.
Flying Fish: Careful! What are you doing?!
Stealth runs out from under the stands. High Striker keeps following. He slams into a giant cupcake water tower. It tips.
High Striker: (looking up) Huh?
The giant tank falls on High Striker, trapping him. 
High Striker: Come back here!
He tips over. Stealth slips away.
High Striker: I can't move!
Rainchel: Now we got him!
The cat cops rush up to helpless High Striker, who points to where Stealth went and mumble-yells.
High Striker: Oh, good, the cops. He went that way!
They ignore him and knock him with their batons.
Duncan: Hold still!
High Striker: Ow!
Rainchel: Take that!
High Striker: What are you doing??
Flying Fish: (into his microphone) Okay folks. Calm down! Everything’s all right. The monster’s been caught! We’ll repair all the damage. Don’t worry, we will have our race before the arcade opens.
Stealth: And I’m in it. 
Stealth hops into his kart and pedals off.
Luna: (to the other racers) There’s no way that I am racing with a glitch. Raincis, Sparkletail, come on.
Flying Fish: Tidal Wave, that bitch cannot be allowed to race! (point down to High Striker) And bring THAT thing to my castle.
High Striker: Guys! He too-
Rainchel tases High Striker's cock.
INT. FLYING FISH'S CASTLE
The police roll the High Striker into a frilly throne room. Flying Fish drives his kart right into the room and backs it into his THRONE parking spot.
Flying Fish: Tidal Wave, de-swampify this monster so we can see what we’re up against here.
Tidal Wave: Mmmm-kay.
Flying Fish: Milk my It’s Strike-it High Striker?!
High Striker: (getting his bearings) Yeah. Who are you, the guy that makes the donuts?
Flying fish: Please. No, I’m Flying Fish.
High striker: I see you’re a fan of pink.
Flying fish: Salmon. Salmon. It’s obviously sal- What are you doing here?
High Striker: Look, Your Scaliness, this is just a big misunderstanding. Just get me out of this tank, I’ll get my medal, and I’ll be outta your way.
Flying Fish: Your medal? (LAUGHS) Bad Rides don’t win medals.
High Striker: Well, this one did. I earned it over in Swarm Island.
Flying Fish: You territory-jumped? High Striker, you’re not going Space Station Zero are you?
High Striker: What? No, no no.
Flying Fish: Because if you think you can come in here to my kingdom and take over my game, you’ve got another thing coming!!!
High Striker: EASY, Your Scaliness. It’s not my fault one of your cats with the bent tail stole my medal.
Flying Fish: Cats with the bent tail? Who’d- (realizing, GASP) The Bitch! The coin he used to buy his way into the race, that was your medal?
High Striker: He did what? I need that back!
Flying Fish: Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you. It’s gone, it’s nothing but code now. And it’ll stay that way until someone wins the cup at the end of the race.
High Striker: Well, maybe I’ll just have to have a little talk with the winner then.
Flying Fish: Is that a threat?
High Striker: Listen, Willy-Wiper, I’m not leaving without my medal!
Flying Fish: Yes, you are. Rainchel, Duncan, get him out of that cupcake and on the first train back home. And if I EVER SEE YOU HERE AGAIN, STRIKE-IT HIGH STRIKER, I’ll lock you in my Fungle.
RALPH: Fungle?
Flying Fish: Fun Jungle. It’s a play on words -- Nevermind. Now, I’ve got a bitch to deal with, thanks to you. Goodbye, Strike-it High Striker! It hasn’t been a pleasure.
Flying Fish hops into his kart and drives out of the room.
Rainchel knocks on the tank.
Duncan: He's stiff as a rock.
Rainchel: I can see that. Get the tools.
High Striker: What tools?
Rainchel hits High Striker's nuts with the baton.
Rainchel: Quiet, you.
Duncan goes over to a chest, pulls out a chain-saw, and revs it up.
High Striker: What? No! Ah! Stay away from me!
Rainchel: Hey, take it easy, big boy.
High Striker flails. He rolls back onto his feet and starts hobbling towards the door.
High Striker: Stay away from me!
Duncan: He’s getting away!
High Striker burst through the wall and fall.
Rainchel and Duncan run to the window. They look down and see the smashed cupcake on the ground and High Striker running away.
Rainchel: Quick, call out the Lycanthorpes!
Lycanthorpes on leashes bound through the trees and down the ravine. They stop by a seaweed swamp. They lose the scent and run off down river.
High Striker:  ugh Seaweed -- I hate seaweed. (scrambling to the shore) Got to get my medal back.
He runs after them.
High Striker: Hey, cats and wolves! Can I talk to you for a second?
High Striker: It’s that little cunt.
Luna gets out of her kart and approaches Stealth.
Stealth: Sparkletail, Luna, Raincis, you’re looking bad. 
Stealth: Well here it is the Likkity Split 
High Striker: Sheesh. Looks like he built it himself. 
Stealth: I built it myself fastest pedal car than Mr Monkey's Banana Ride check her out 
Luna: Stealth it’s so... you. But you have to back out of the race, yeah.
Stealth: no, I don’t, and I’m on the board. So, yeah, I’m definitely racing.
Luna: Yeah, well, Flying Fish says glitches can’t race.
Stealth: I’m not a glitch, Luna. I’ve just got pixlexia, okay?
Luna: The rules are there for a reason, Stealth. To protect us. Say I’m you. I’m in my weird little car, and I’m driving, and I actually feel kinda cool for once. And then, all of a sudden, oh no! I’m gl-gl-gl-gl-gl-glitching!
Stealth: Hey!
Luna: See? You're an accident just waiting to happen.
Random Cat: Oh, no! I g-g-g-glitched, too!
Random Cat goes over to the kart, flails and smacks the hood loose. Stealth rushes over to his kart, but other racers get in her way and block her.
On High Striker: Disturbed by what he’s seeing.
High Striker: Uncool.
BACK ON THE CATS: The other racers tear apart the kart.
VARIOUS RACERS: Oh no, I glitched. I glitched. Look out, I’m glitching.
Stealth: Stop it! Stop! You're breaking it! Please!
Stealth grabs Luna (glitching her as well) and spins her around to face her.
Stealth: I just wanna race like you guys!
Luna: You’ll never be a racer, because you’re a bitch. And that’s all you’ll ever be!
Luna pushes Stealth, who goes flying back, and lands SPLAT in the seaweed.
ON HIGH STRIKER: That’s the last straw; he jumps up.
High Striker: Hey! Leave him alone!
He runs down the hill, flails his arms. They SCREAM in terror and run to their cars.
Luna: Let’s get out of here!
The racers drive off.
High Striker: Scram, you rotten little cavities, before I throw YOU in the mud!
High Striker puffs up. He turns to Stealth.
He wipes away tears, while sifting through the wreckage of his kart.
Stealth: What are YOU looking at?
High Striker: You’re welcome, you rotten little thief.
Stealth: I’m not a thief. I just borrowed your stupid coin. I was gonna give it back to you as soon as I won the race.
High Striker: It’s not a coin. It is a medal.
Stealth: Coin. Medal. Whatever. Just go back to your own dumb ride and win another one.
High Striker: I can’t. I didn’t win it in my ride. I won it in Swarm Island.
High Striker: I earned that medal, and you better get it back for me, right fucking now, cheetah!
Stealth: Well, unless you’ve got a go-kart hidden in the fat folds of your neck, I can’t help you!
High Striker makes like he wants to crush him, but takes his anger out onto a few nearby trees instead. He then hits a giant boulder with his hammer. It doesn’t so much as crack. He tries again.
Nothing. Incensed, he repeatedly hits his hammer-- temper-tantrum style.
Stealth: What a moron. Hey genius, it’s a boulder! You’re never gonna break --
It cracks clean in half. That gives him an idea.
Stealth: Huh.
Stealth: Enjoy your little tantrum, boring ride?
High Striker: Leave me alone.
Stealth: Look, you want that medal, right? And I want to race. So, here’s what I’m thinking; you help me get a new car, a REAL car, and I’ll win the race and get you back your medal.
High Striker: You want me to help you?
Stealth: All you got to do is break something for me. Come on, what do you say, friend?
She holds out a hand. He doesn’t take it right away.
High Striker: We are not friends.
Stealth: Oh, come on, pal. You son of a gun. Come on, buddy. Let's shake on it. Ah. Come on, chumbo. High Striker, my ride. My main ride. Hey. My arm's getting tired. We have a deal or not?
High Striker: (GRUNTS) You better win.
He takes her little hand, and they shake on it.
Nemesis Inferno: I’ll say this much, they don’t call your friend Strike-It for nothing. There’s the shuttle.
She lands the cruiser.
Saw approaches cautiously.
Saw: Is he in there?
Nemesis Inferno: Nope. Lucky for him, otherwise I would have slapped his cock -- No Aliens either.
She pulls out her tri-quarter alien sensor and starts scanning.
Nemesis Inferno: Got to find it before it fucking reproduces.
Nemesis Inferno and Saw pass the pit. She’s getting a faint signal on the sensor. It scrambles. She smacks it. It scrambles more.
Nemesis Inferno: It came this way, but the salt particles in the atmosphere are jamming my sensor; can’t get a read on it.
They walk on.
Nemesis Inferno: So, what is it with this Strike-it joker, huh? Why’d he go AWOL?
Saw: I wish I knew, ma’am. He was acting all squirrelly last night, going on about donuts and medals. (distraught) But I never thought he’d go Space Station Zero.
Nemesis Inferno: “Go Space Station Zero”?
Saw: That’s right, you guys just got built. Well, back when the park first opened…
Saw (V.O.): …Space Station Zero was by far the first rollercoaster at the park.
Space Station Zero crosses the finish line and gives us a giant thumbs-up.
Space Station Zero: SPACE-TASTIC!
Saw (V.O.): And Space Station Zero-- well, he loved the attention.
Space Station Zero takes the first-place spot on a podium. He blocks the second-place Space Dog down with a wave of his trophy and blocks the third-place Space Dog from view with his Space Zero thumbs-up.
Saw (V.O.): So. when Colossus got built and stole Space Station Zero’s thunder…
80S PLAYER 2: New ride! Alright!
Saw: …boy, was he jealous…
Saw: ...so jealous that he abandoned his ride and tried to destroy the new one.
80S Rider 1: These are the greatest elements I’ve ever seen!
Space station zero: SPACE-TASTIC!
80S Rider 2: Hey. Is that... That looks like Space Station Zero.
80S Rider 1: What's Space Station Zero doing in this ride?
80S Rider 1: Aw, come on!
80S Rider 2: Eve Rendell!
WORKERS close both Space Station Zero and Colossus.
Saw (V.O.): Space Station Zero ended up getting his ride removed and Colossus extremely rough.
BACK ON NEMESIS INFERNO AND SAW: Nemesis Inferno shakes her head.
Nemesis Inferno: Yes, the selfish dog is like a mangy man chasing a cautionary tale.
They step onto a fallen track acting as a bridge over a ravine.
Saw: I know, right? That’s why I have to get High Striker home, or the parks gonna get closed.
BLOOP-BLOOP! The entire track is a rollback.
Saw: Huh?
The tree disappears. They fall into a pit of sand.
Nemesis Inferno: What is this?
A sign reads: AMITY BEACH QUICKSAND.
Nemesis Inferno: "Amity Beach QuickSand"?
Saw: Quicksand!? Oh, I'll hop out and grab you one of those pipes. (GRUNTS) Huh!
Nemesis Inferno stands calm, sizing up the situation. Saw flails as he tries to hop out of the sand. 
Saw: I can’t hop. I’m hopless. This is hopeless! We’re gonna drown here!
Nemesis Inferno: Stop thrashing! Stop moving-- you’re making us sink faster!
Nemesis Inferno: Get a hold of yourself!
Nemesis Inferno slaps him in the face. He looks at her, shocked. Suddenly they hear GIGGLING. They look up to see Pipes hanging from a tree. As the Pipes giggle, they stretch and lower towards them.
Saw: The pipes. They’re Laffy Taffy. They’re attracted to whatever makes them laugh. Here, hit me again.
She smacks him lightly. The taffy vines retreat with a collective groan, disappointed.
Saw: That’s not funny enough. Harder!
She hesitates.
Nemesis Inferno: Look, you’re a nice guy, I can’t--
Saw: (unusually forceful) NO, MA’AM!! The park is depending on us. Now do your duty. That’s an or-
She full on belts him. The taffy howls with laughter. He’s got a huge back eye.
Saw: It’s working, hit me again!
Nemesis Inferno: Ooh, your eye.
Saw: I can saw it.
He hits his eye with the hammer. His black eye goes away.
Saw: Now-
WHAP! His nose grows bigger.
Saw: AAoooowwww!!! San Frantastic! (Hammers himself to normal) Again!
POW! He’s got half of his teeth missing.
Saw: Ow! You mean business!
BLING! His teeth reappear.
Saw: Ow! Yikes on bikes!
She hits. BLING. He fixes his face. Smack, bling, smack, bling, over and over, the pipes approaching.
Saw: Wow! We’re -- killing -- them! Comedy gold!
Finally, the pipes are within reach. He grabs hold, then pulls her into his arms. The pipe sweeps them up and out of the quicksand. The world slows down. Music swells. Nemesis Inferno looks up at Saw. They arrive on the tree branch. For some reason he looks strong-jawed and heroic. He smiles down on her. Man, she’s beautiful. There’s a real chemistry between them. Nemesis Inferno notices that the Laffy Taffy pipes are singing in a Disney-esque choir and have formed a heart shape around them. She pulls out her gun and shoots at the pipes.
Nemesis Inferno: Alright, enough with the goo-goo eyes. We've got work to do. Let's go.
She looks at the sensor, all business.
Nemesis Inferno (climbing out of the tree): Argh, we lost the Swarm. Let’s go. Come on, we’ll get a better view from the air. Think you can fix that shuttle?
Saw: Can do.
He follows back her towards the shuttle.
Down below the tree, unbeknownst to them, something has burrowed into the ground. We recognize the sounds of a Swarm coming from the hole it made. We see the Swarm from the pod emerge from the hole. It eats a striped cane root and becomes striped itself
An impressive facility shaped like a giant cake. Birthday candle chimneys line the top. High Striker and Stealth sneak past a guard’s gingerbread booth with Cat Papa snoozing inside of it.
They slink up to a giant door with a hefty dead-bolt on it.
Stealth is painted on the door with a slash through it and the words: “No Bitches Allowed!”
Stealth: Alright, do your thing. Bust it open.
High Striker: What’s this? You're a full on criminal, aren’t you?
Stealth: Hey, we shook on it.
High Striker’s hammer busts through the door, destroying it.
Stealth: Thank you.
Stealth runs in. It’s dark. There’s nothing but a start button.
High Striker: What is this place? Where are the karts?
He hits the START BUTTON. A screen lights up. It reads: CHOOSE YOUR CAR. There are a bunch of cool cars to choose from.
Stealth: You gotta make one.
High Striker: What? No, no no. Look, cat, bad idea, trust me. I don’t make things, I break things.
Stealth: Well, it looks like you're gonna be stepping outside your comfort zone then, Gladys. (seeing a kart he likes) Ooh, this is a good one.
He presses the “choose” button. Suddenly the entire place lights up. There are levers and pulleys and bins.
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the bakery! Let's make a car!
High Striker: What is this, a game?
Stealth: Yeah, well, it's a mini-game.
VOICE: You have one minute to win it.
High Striker: What?
Stealth: Come on, High Striker!
VOICE: Go!
Oversized numbers fly through air from the background to the foreground.
Stealth runs over to giant steering wheel. Before him: two shoots, a balancing platform, a bowl, and a trash can.
VOICE: MIXING!
The word “MIXING” flies through the air.
VOICE: Put the parts in the bowl and throw away the disgusting things.
A recipe card keeps score. He’s having trouble with the steering and is missing the parts.
High Striker: Cock. No! Pants, no, no! You’re getting all wrong the stuff, cat.
Stealth: I’m trying!
High Striker: Urgh. I’ll do it.
He jumps up on the platform, catches all the parts, throws the good ones into the bowl and the bad ones into the trash can.
High Striker: No -- yes -- gross -- Paint, yes!
The hits him. He falls into the bowl.
VOICE: Batter up!
The beaters mix the batter, High Striker and all. The batter and High Striker dump into a mold. High Striker crawls out of the batter just before it goes into the oven.
Stealth: Come on, no sleeping on the job!
VOICE: BAKING!
High Striker gets up, stumbles around, dizzy. The word “BAKING” flies through the air.
VOICE: Baking! Pump up the heat and hold the perfect temperature.
Stealth runs over and jumps on the bellows. He can’t get it hot enough.
Stealth: High Striker! A little help here.
High Striker: I’m on it!
High Striker presses down and completely breaks the pump.
Stealth: High Striker!
High Striker: Yeah, no problem, just give me this thing here --
High Striker grabs the hose and blows into it himself. The mercury rises.
Stealth: Okay, good! A little more. That’s it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
DING! Just right. Stealth cheers. High Striker collapses.
Stealth: get up, High Striker! Fifteen seconds!!
VOICE: DECORATING!
The conveyor belt goes under a bunch of candy dispensers filled with everything from wheels to jimmies. They must launch eggs out of a cannon aimed at targets on the respective bins.
Stealth: Wheels first.
High Striker: How many?
Stealth: FOUR, dumbass!
High Striker: Got it.
High Striker: Oh.
The other bins collapse like dominoes and spill all their content onto the kart.
The final buzzer sounds.
ANNOUNCER: Times up!
The kart drops down a ramp into a fancy garage. They run to the garage door, on which there’s a beautiful image of a perfect kart.
ANNOUNCER: Congratulations. You did it, and here’s your kart!
The garage door opens, revealing their abomination beneath spilled candy.
High Striker: (EXCLAIMS) Look, cat... I tried to warn you. I can't make things. I just break...
Stealth: I love it.
High Striker: You do?
Stealth: No.
Stealth then grabs two brushes.
Cat Papa: Hmm, cream puffs.
Cat Papa wakes with a start. He sees Stealth on the security camera. Cat Papa GASPS. He grabs his Red emergency phone.
Cat Papa: This is Cat Papa. The Bitch is in the bakery! Get me Flying Fish!
BACK INSIDE THE BAKERY: High Striker finishes writing “AND HIGH STRIKER” in red frosting under “made by Stealth” in turquoise. He stands back to admire their work. High Striker’s smiling like a sap, the first time we’ve seen him smile.
Flying Fish (O.S.) Hold it right there, Bitch!
Flying Fish, Rainchel, and Duncan drive in. Flying Fish sees High Striker and GASPS in shock!
Flying Fish (seeing High Striker) And Strike-it High Striker?!
High Striker: Uh-oh.
High Striker aims his cock at Flying Fish and the wolves and pisses on them in the face, temporarily blinding them.
High Striker: Start the kart!
High Striker throws Stealth in the driver’s seat of his kart and hops on the back.
High Striker: Start the car!
He hovers his hand over the buttons and knobs.
High Striker: What are you waiting for?! C’mon, let’s go!
Stealth: I, ah, don’t know how to drive a real kart.
High Striker: You don’t what?
Duncan: Are you hurt, Sire?
Flying fish: No, he just glazed me. Get them!
High striker: Gang way!
High Striker pushes off the floor with his hands. The kart takes off.
High Striker hand-pedals the ground faster. They catch a downhill and pick up speed, breaking the toll booth poll, which incidentally was double-stripped. Flying Fish and the wolves are hot on their trail.
Flying Fish: Stop in the name of the king; that’s me!
Stealth: Get off the road!
High Striker digs into the ground and takes a tight turn. The CLAW swat truck over-shoots and goes tumbling.
High Striker: Head for the cannery
Stealth: Drive through the water!
High Striker: What?!
Stealth: Right there, between the two trucks!
High Striker: Are you crazy?!
Stealth: Just do it!
High Striker and Stealth come sweeping into a of half-built props. They CRASH. The kart ends up vertical against a rock, front wheels spinning. High Striker tumbles out.
Flying Fish and the cat police screech to a halt. Flying Fish removes his goggles and looks around.
Flying Fish: Where’d they go? They should have just turned. (To the cops) Find that Bitch. Destroy that kart! He can’t be allowed to race!
Rainchel and Duncan drive off. Flying Fish wipes his sweaty brow, upset.
High Striker picks himself up and lays into Stealth.
High Striker:  Let me get this straight; you don’t know how to drive.
Stealth: Well no, not technically. But I just thought --
High Striker gets to his feet.
High Striker: What did you think? (mocking voice) "Oh, I’ll just magically win the race just because I really want to!"
He grabs the steering wheel, eager.
Stealth: Look wise guy, I know I’m a racer. I can feel it in my code.
High Striker: (GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION) That’s it, I’m never getting my medal back.
Stealth jumps up and tries to push the kart off the rock. It doesn’t budge.
Stealth: What is the big whoop about that crummy medal anyway?
High Striker: The big whoop? Well, this may come as a shock to you, but in my game, I'm the Lame Ride and I live in the garbage.
Stealth: Cool.
High Striker: No. Not cool. Unhygienic and lonely and boring. And that "crummy medal" was going to change all that. I go home with that baby around my neck and I'll get The Dome. Donuts. Ice sculptures. Fireworks! (off her blank stare)(GRUNTS) It's grown-up stuff. You wouldn't understand.
Stealth: No, I get it! That's exactly what racing would do for me!
High Striker: Well, guess what?
Stealth: What?
High Striker: News flash! Neither one of us is getting what we want!
High Striker stomps his foot. BOOM! Something explodes nearby.
High Striker: What was that?
High Striker follows the sound. He comes to a room with a bubbling pool. He reads the signs.
High Striker: (reading) "Storm Surge's No Umbrella Zone. Watch out for Exploding Pipes?”
Stealth: Yeah, check it out. Look!
Stealth throws a rock at the stalactite. Hits it. A pipe explodes. BOOM! A giant geyser shoots up into the air.
Stealth: Oh, you gotta watch out for the splash. That stuff is freezing cold.
High Striker: Yeah, I got that, thank you. What is this dump?
Stealth: I think it’s some sort of unfinished area. Yeah, it’s pretty cool, huh? I found that secret opening, and now I live here. See, look, look look!
He runs over to a crudely fashioned lean-to above a bed of candy-wrappers.
Suddenly, it occurs to High Striker: their plights are the same.
High Striker: By yourself? With all this garbage around you?
Stealth: Well, yeah. I mean, everyone here says I'm just a mistake and that I wasn't even supposed to exist. What do you expect?
High Striker: Listen, cat... I know it's none of my business, but why do you even stick around this game?
Stealth: You really don't know anything, do you? Bitches can't leave their parks. It's one of the joys of being me.
High Striker looks around at his sad life. He gets a thought. He raises his giant hammer and starts pounding the twisted, nonsense architecture.
Stealth: Hey, what are you doing? Come on! I know it's a dump, but it's all I got.
High Striker: (still pounding) If you're going to be a racer, you have to learn how to drive. And you can't do that without a track.
REVEAL: He’s made a beginner’s track around the hot springs.
Stealth: Whoa!
High Striker picks up the kart and puts it on the track.
High Striker: All right, now. Let's hustle up. We've got some driving to do.
Stealth runs in a circle around High Striker and the kart, cheering.
Stealth: I'm going to learn to drive! I'm going to learn to drive! I'm gonna-Oh, wait. Do you know how to drive?
High Striker: Yeah! I mean, I haven't done it, but... Look, I flew a spaceship today, okay?
Stealth: You crashed it.
High Striker: Just get in. How hard can it be? Okay, uh... Start it up.
Stealth starts it up and revs the engine.
High Striker: There we go. So there are some buttons on the floor.
Stealth: Pedals.
High Striker: Pedals. Right. Now, uh, that's the go pedal. That I believe is the stopper. And this...
He presses the clutch pedal.
High Striker: Wait. What is this? That doesn't do anything.
Stealth: Ooh, what does this joystick do?
He pushes the gear shift. The kart jumps forward, dragging High Striker with it. He lands flat on his face. Stealth stalls. High Striker lifts his head up.
High Striker: Okay, good. Let's try that again.
SINGER: I've been looking for a rider who's qualified / So if you think that you're the one, step into my ride
High Striker: standing in front of him.
He zips forward and slams into High Striker.
High Striker: Ow!
High Striker: standing behind her.
He grinds the gears, flies in reverse, slams into him. He cries out. He slams into him again.
SINGER: I'm an Intamin Hydraulic Launch accelerator
High Striker: Ow!
High Striker: hiding behind a rock.
Stealth hits a stalagmite. It falls, lands on High Striker.
SINGER: With no top and a gangster lean / So if you fear me, let me know, know, know / So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go
Stealth: steering through an obstacle course. CUT to reveal High Striker is pushing the kart from behind, guiding her around the rocks.
High Striker: motion-steering as Stealth watches. He turns the wheel and slams into a rock. Spitting out a tooth, He gives a “thumbs up.”
SINGER: Get you where you wanna go If you know what I mean / Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine /'Cause I'm 0 to 80 in 1.8
Stealth: driving in first gear. She lifts her foot off the clutch slowly and moves forward smoothly.
High Striker: Now shift it.
SINGER: Baby you got the keys
High Striker: That's good. Keep going! Shift it again!
SINGER: Now shut up and drive, drive, drive, drive
Stealth: I told you, racing's in my code!
SINGER: So if you fear me, let me know, know, know
High Striker: (CHUCKLING) I got that medal in the bag!
Stealth: Hey, Strikey, watch this!
He jumps the track then drives right up a steep, natural ramp. He jumps a part of broken track. Lands perfectly.
SINGER: Get you where you wanna go if you know what I mean / Got a ride that's smoother than a B and M wing coaster
Stealth: Whoo-hoo!
SINGER: Cause I'm zero to 80 in 1.8 / 'Cuz baby you got the keys
He then aims for a giant jump -- takes flight and -- GLITCH! He glitches in the air. 
High Striker: Look out!
He ducks, but his spoiler hits the pipes. He glitches again and crash lands on the track on the other side.
SINGER: Shut up and drive
Giant chunks of pipes fall into the cold water. High Striker jumps out of the way of the freezing water falling around him.
Stealth keeps spins out of control. He skids to a stop. He looks spooked, but then he shakes it off.
SINGER: Now shut up and drive
Stealth: So how did I do?
High Striker: Um... Well, you almost blew up the whole mountain.
Stealth: Right, right. That's a good note.
High Striker: You got to get that bitch under control, cat.
Stealth: Okay, I will, I will. And then you think I got a chance?
High Striker: (contemplates) Tiny.
He jumps up and around High Striker shouting.
Stealth: Yes, I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win!
High Striker: (giving in to his enthusiasm) Top shelf.
Stealth: Top shelf!
They fist bump.
Duncan and Rainchel ride to the palace.
Flying Fish paces in front of his car throne. Tidal Wave follows, waving him with a fan. The castle doors open. Rainchel and Duncan approach.
Flying Fish: (urgent) Did you find him? Tell me you found him.
Rainchel shakes his head solemnly.
Flying Fish: You didn’t? (LAUGHS HOPELESSLY) Go -- leave me.
The catsleave. Flying Fish thinks, gets an idea, then storms off through the door by his throne. Tidal Wave hurries after him.
An elevator door opens and Flying Fish and Tidal Wave step out and walk along what looks like the insides of a wire.
Flying Fish approaches a large door. He puts in a code. The door swings open. Tidal Wave tightens a rope around Flying Fish's waist.
Flying Fish: the code. the sweet lifeblood of the park.
The boxes are labelled with icons and text, saying everything from: “VALLEY” and “SEAWEED RIVER” to “LUNA” and “TIDAL WAVE.”
The physics are different here, and so Flying Fish floats as if in zero gravity. He drifts amongst the web, cautiously.
Flying Fish: Where are you? Let's see... Stadium, no. Jumbotron. Ha-ha! There it is. The winner's cup.
He double-clicks the box labeled “PISTON CUP.” The box opens. Inside floats a bunch of smaller boxes labeled “Coin,” interconnected with threads. Amongst the boxes, one stands out. It's the Medal.
Flying Fish: One of these things is not like the others... It's you!
Flying Fish: We're going to give you a nice new home.
He arrives in front of a very special box, connected with the most number of threads. It’s labeled, “FLYING FISH.” He double clicks it. It opens and he slides the “Medal” box inside. A string of ones and zeros gathers around his neck, then solidifies into The Medal of Heroes.
Flying Fish: Success! (CHUCKLING) (tugs on the rope.) Tidal Wave, I'm going out. You're in charge of the castle until I get back.
He floats back towards the door. We pan back to a box that is off alone, with no threads attached. Its label says: “STEALTH ADRENALIN FEARLESS EDGE.”
The Swarm sensor is locked on the dash, scanning. There are no aliens detected. Nemesis Inferno pilots. Saw stares at her, blushing.
Nemesis Inferno: Your face is still red. You might want to hit it again with your hammer .
Saw: That's not blunt force trauma, ma'am. That's just the pink swirls in my cheeks.
Nemesis Inferno: Okay.
Saw: Ma'am, I just got to tell you... You are one nemesis gal.
Slammer: Wow, you are one nemesis gal.
Slammer: One nemesis gal.
FLASHBACK: Nemesis Inferno and Slammer having a flowery picnic.
Slammer: Nemesis gal.
FLASHBACK: Slammer on one knee proposing.
Slammer: Nemesis gal.
FLASHBACK: Nemesis Inferno and Slammer wedding.
Slammer: Nemesis-
The glass shatters as the swarm bursts in.
Nemesis Inferno: Get out!
Saw: All I said is you’re a nemesis gal.
Nemesis Inferno: I said GET OUT!
He climbs out. 
Saw: (distraught) --
He lumbers off towards the castle.
Saw knocks on the castle door. Tidal Wave opens the door.
Tidal Wave: Mmmmyes?
Saw: I’m Saw the ride from the territory old town. Have you seen my friend, High Striker?
Tidal Wave: Strike it high Striker?
Saw: Yes, yes, that’s him.
Tidal Wave: We shoulda locked him up when we had the chance.
Saw: Locked him up?
Tidal Wave grabs a handle and pulls.
Tidal Wave: I'm not making the same mistake with you.
A trap door opens and Saw falls in.
Stealth runs out of the secret door. High Striker pushes the kart out behind him.
Stealth: Hurry the fuck up high striker!
He hops in his kart. High Striker climbs on the back.
High Striker: Okay, come on. Listen to me. If you get nervous, just keep telling yourself, "I must win High Striker's medal or his life will be boring." And have fun. Got it?
Stealth: Got it.
Stealth starts driving away,
Stealth: Wait. Hold on!
Then slams on the brakes. High Striker FALLS forward and falls nuts first. He puts it in reverse, then stops short. He FALLS off the back.
High Striker: Whoa! Hold on! Where are you going?
Stealth: I forgot something! I'll be right back!
Flying Fish: High Striker! (CHUCKLES) There you are. Hello!
High Striker turns to see Flying Fish getting out of his kart.
High Striker: You!
Flying Fish: I come alone, unarmed.
High Striker: I've had enough of you, pillow cock!
High Striker chases Flying Fish around a giant boulder.
Flying Fish: Please. Calm down! Please, look. Don't!
High Striker: I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you!
Flying Fish: Aha! (putting on giant glasses) You wouldn't hit a fish with glasses, would you?
High Striker grabs the glasses off of his face and knocks Flying Fish on the head with them.
Flying Fish: You hit a fish WITH glasses. That's... Well played.
High Striker grabs him by the fin.
High Striker: What do you want, Fishy?
Flying Fish: Listen, I just want to talk to you.
High Striker: I'm not interested in anything you have to say.
Flying Fish: How about this? Are you interested in this?
Flying Fish holds up the Medal of Coolness. Shocked to see it, High Striker drops Flying Fish.
High Striker: My medal. How did you...
Flying Fish: It doesn't matter. It's yours! Go ahead, take it.
Flying Fish: All I ask is that you hear me out.
High Striker: About what?
Flying Fish: I need your help. Sad as it is, Stealth cannot be allowed to race.
High Striker: Why are you people so against him?!
Flying Fish: I'm not against him! I'm trying to protect him! If Stealth wins that race...
FADE INTO A SCENARIO where Stealth is on the ride roster.
Flying Fish (V.O.): ...he'll be added to the ride roster. Then riders can go on him.
FLASH FORWARD: Stealth rollbacks.
Flying Fish (V.O.): And when they see him do rollbacks and just being himself, they'll think all our rides are dangerous.
FLASH FORWARD: The Closed sign gets slapped onto Thorpe Park.
Flying Fish (V.O.): We'll all be closed for good.
Thorpe Park is getting demolished as Flying Fish’s subjects rush into Ride Central.
Flying Fish (V.O.): All the rides will be homeless. But there's one who cannot escape because he's a bitch.
Stealth: Help! Somebody, help! Help!
Flying Fish (V.O.): And when the park goes out of business...
FLASH FORWARD: Stealth is crushed in the vortex of parts of oblivion. Back to reality.
Flying Fish: ...he'll die with it.
High Striker: You don't know that will happen. The riders could love him.
Flying Fish: And if they don't?
High Striker sits down, eyes still on his medal.
Flying Fish: I know it's tough, but Cool Rides have to make the tough choices, don't they? He can't race, High Striker, but he won't listen to me. So can I count on you to talk a little sense into him?
High Striker contemplates, then gives a small, pained nod.
Flying Fish: Very good. I'll give you sometime alone.
Flying Fish disappears around the bend. High Striker stares at the medal. He hears Stealth returning. He stands, braces himself, and puts the medal in his pouch.
Stealth: I'm back! 
High Striker: Yeah... Uh... Can we talk for a second?
Stealth: Wait. First
High Striker: What? No, we really...
Stealth: Will you just do it?
High Striker: Okay.
He kneels down.
Stealth: Now, close your eyes.
High Striker: Stealth...
Stealth: Shush! Close them!
He shuts them. He ties something around his neck.
Stealth: Okay. Open them up.
He looks down and sees a on a string, which has the words: “To Gay Pouch.”
High Striker: "To Gaypouch." Gee, thanks.
Stealth: Turn it over.
He does. On the back is painted the words: “You’re extremely gay.”
Stealth: I made it for you. So you won't forget that you're gay whenever you're away from me.
High Striker: (this is killing him) Thanks, cat. Listen...
Stealth: High Striker, hurry up. 
High Striker: Um... I've been thinking.
Stealth: That's dangerous.
High Striker: Who cares about this stupid race anyway? Right?
Stealth: (LAUGHS) That's not very funny, High Striker.
High Striker: No, I'm serious, and it was really fun to build the car and everything. But maybe you shouldn't do it.
Stealth: Hello? Is High Striker in there? I'd like to speak to him, please.
High Striker: Look, what I'm saying is you can't be a racer.
That gets his attention.
Stealth: What? Why would you...
Stealth: Wait a minute.
He pulls the Medal of coolness out of High Strikers pouch.
High Striker: No!
Stealth: Where did you get this?
High Striker: Look, I'm going to be straight with you, I've been talking to Flying Fish.
Stealth: Flying Fish?!
High Striker: Yeah.
Stealth: You sold me out?!
High Striker: No, I didn't... Listen, you don't understand!
Stealth: No, I understand plenty. Traitor!
He throws the medal at high strikers nuts.
High Striker: I'm not a traitor. Listen.
Stealth: You're a cunt! And I don't need you, and I can win the race on my own.
High Striker: But I'm trying to save your skin, cat!
High Striker grabs him and picks him up out of the car. He glitches.
Stealth: Put me down! Let me go!
High Striker: No, you listen to me!
He sets him down. He immediately makes a dash for the kart. High Striker blocks his way. He struggles to get around him.
High Striker: Do you know what's going to happen when the riders see you do rollbacks? They're gonna think your ride's dangerous!
Stealth: I don't care! You're a liar!
High Striker: No, you better care, because if the park goes out of order...
Stealth: I'm not listening to you!
High Striker: ...then shit will hit the fan, little cheetah!
Stealth: GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'm going to that race!
High Striker: No, you're not!
He hangs him by his tail on the edge of a tree.
Stealth: Take me down from here, High Striker, right now!
High Striker: No! I'm doing this FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!
He goes over to the car and takes out his hammer.
Stealth: Wait, wait, wait. No. No. No, no, no, no, no! Please, High Striker!
But he doesn’t stop. He STRIKES his hammer onto the kart.
Stealth: NO! HIGH STRIKER, STOP IT! STOP IT! NO!
High Striker destroys the cart. He breaks down sobbing. Then he lands on his palms and knees on the ground. High Striker turns to him.
Stealth: (heartbroken) You really are a Bad Ride.
He runs sobbing into Storm Surge No Umbrellas Zone entrance. High Striker hangs his head. He sighs, then walks over and picks up his medal.
He starts down the road alone.
High Striker rides up on the train, wearing his medal. It’s awfully quiet. All the lights are out at the park, but for a single light in the Dome.
The door hangs slightly open. High Striker pushes it the rest of the way and steps inside. The place looks like it’s been looted.
High Striker: Hello? Anybody home? Saw? Vortex?
Detonator (O.S.): Well, you actually went and did it.
There, by the bar, stands Big D, eating a donut.
High Striker: D? Where is everybody?
Detonator: They’re gone. After Saw went to find you and then didn’t come back, everyone panicked and left the park leaving they're rides behind.
High Striker: But--but I’m here now.
Detonator: It’s too late, High Striker. Our park is demolishing our rides tomorrow night.
Detonator motions towards the balcony. High Striker goes over and looks out. He sees the Closed sign taped to the park.
Detonator: But, never let it be said I’m not a bird of my word. The place is yours, High Striker. Enjoy.
Detonator tosses High Striker the key to the Dome. High Striker catches them and looks at them, upset, as Detonator grabs his suitcase and heads for the door.
High Striker: D, wait, wait.
Detonator turns
High Striker: Fuck you bitch!
High Striker: Listen this isn't what I wanted
Detonator: Then what did you want High Striker
High Striker: I dunno I was just tired of living alone with no riders
Detonator: Well now you can have riders here! In the park
Detonator leaves with his suitcase, leaving High Striker alone. High Striker drops the key and walks onto the balcony.
High Striker stands there, alone, staring at the sign, which shows a sick arcade console with a thermometer in its mouth, blocking the view of the outside world. A dim perimeter of light beams through, illuminating as he frowns, lowers his head, and yanks the Medal of Coolness from his neck, disgusted, then throws it at the screen. It twinkles as it arcs across the distance.
The medal smacks against the dome. Through the gap, High Striker sees the Stealth's coaster across the way. It reminds him of the homemade medal Stealth gave him. It’s still around his neck. He takes it off and turns it to the side that says, “You’re extremely gay.”
He closes his fingers around it and looks again at the coaster. He spots a large picture of a cheetah on the coaster's side, driving Flying Fish's car. High Striker furrows his brow as he realizes, it's Stealth!
Tidal Wave loads the scraps of Stealth’s kart into a candy wheelbarrow. A shadow rises over her.
High Striker: Hey, wet cat! Explain somethin' to me. If Stealth was never meant to exist, then why is his picture on the side of the dome wall?
Tidal Wave: Uh…
She tries to make a run for it, but High Striker grabs her .
High Striker: What's going on in this island like no other?
Tidal Wave: Nothing...
High Striker: Talk!
Tidal Wave: No.
High Striker: I'll lick you!
Tidal Wave: You wouldn't.
High Striker: (sticking tongue out) Oh yeah?
High Striker gives her a quick lick. Tidal Wave cringes.
Tidal Wave: Ugh! It's like sandpaper!
High Striker: Mmm, wonder how many licks it'll take to get to your center.
Tidal Wave: I’ll take it to my grave!
High Striker: Fair enough.
High Striker: They call you Tidal Wave for a reason.
High Striker: Had enough yet?
Tidal Wave: Okay, I’ll talk. I’ll talk. I’ll talk. Stealth WAS a racer until Flying Fish tried to delete his code (sobs).
FLASHBACK: Flying Fish in the code room, tearing all the connections off of Stealth’s code node and shoving it away from the web.
High Striker (V.O.): Tried to delete his code? Why is he doing this to him?
BACK ON TIDAL WAVE
Tidal Wave: I don't know.
High Striker: Suit yourself.
High Striker threatens to eat him again. Tidal Wave throws her arms up.
Tidal Wave: No, no, no, no, no, no! I swear, I don't know!
FLASHBACK: We see Flying Fish floating through the code room, scooping up nodes of memory into a royal chest. He locks the chest with a pad lock.
Tidal Wave (V.O.): He literally locked up our memories and I cannot remember! Nobody can!
BACK ON TIDAL WAVE
Tidal Wave: But I do know this: he'll do anything to keep him from racing. Because if he crosses the finish line, the park will reset and he won't be a bitch anymore!
High Striker: Where is he now?
Tidal Wave: In the Fungle with Saw the ride.
High Striker: Saw?
Tidal Wave: I'm sorry! That's all I know, that's all I know, I swear! Now please, don't put me back in your filthy pouch again! (sobs)
High Striker sticks Tidal Wave to a tree.
High Striker: Stick around.
Tidal Wave: Yes, okay. I will, I will. Thank you.
High Striker picked up the car pieces on his way out.
Nemesis Inferno patrols the area. Her scanner goes off. She pulls out her gun and follows the beep.
Nemesis Inferno: Come on, I know you’re out there.
The signal suddenly drops out. She hits the tri-quarter, frustrated.
Nemesis Inferno: Ugh. Seaweed saturated nightmare!
The tri-quarter suddenly goes off, loudly. Green dots fill the device's screen. She looks around on alert.
Nemesis Inferno: But-- where --
The ground gives way and she tumbles into --
She grabs roots to keep from falling into the nest below, full of glowing Swarm eggs and candy-coated Swarms traveling in and out of long caverns.
Nemesis Inferno: (talking to herself) Doomsday and Armageddon just had a baby and it is ugly!
A frustrated Saw calls out the dungeon window.
Saw: Hello? Hello? Somebody! Anybody! Please let me OUT!
He shakes the bars. One bar is loose.
Saw: What's he say? (IMITATING HIGH STRIKER) I'm gonna strike it!
He hits the bars with his hammer. They fortify, stronger.
Saw: (GROANS) Why do I fix everything I touch!? Oh! (SOBS)
High Striker: Saw!
Saw: High Striker! (jumps up; hugs High Striker) I'm so glad to see you! Wait. (lets go) No, I'm not! What do you have to say for yourself?!
High Striker: I—
Saw: Wait! I don't want to hear it. I'm not talking to you.
High Striker: Okay. Don't talk. That's fine. [dumps out a can full of the broken go-kart] But you have to fix this go-kart for me.
Saw: I don't have to do shit! I'm just so…so pissed with you! Do you have any idea what you've put me through?! I ran bullshit all over tue -place looking for you. I almost drowned in seaweed! And then…I met the most nemesis gal. Oh. She gives me the pink cheeks somethin' awful. But…she rebuffed my affections. And then, I GOT THROWN INTO JAIL!
High Striker: Saw, pull yourself together!
Saw: NO! High Striker! You have no idea what it's like to be rejected and treated like I'm boring!
High Striker: Yes, I do. That's every day of my life.
Saw: It is?
High Striker: Which is why I ran off and tried to be a Cool ride, but I'm not! I'm just a Bad Ride, and I need your help. There's a cat whose only hope is this kart. Please, Saw, fix it! And I promise, I will never try to be Cool again.
Saw smiles and pulls out his hammer.
Stealth sits in the fungle. The door looks unbreakable. Thorpe park ranger pictures line the walls. Stealth sits in the middle of the room with a “Bitch-proof” collar. BAM! High Striker busts the door down and pushes in his car. He stares wide eyed.
High Striker: I know, I know, I'm gay.
Stealth: And?
High Striker: And a real lame ride.
Stealth: And?
High Striker: A selfish tiny dick.
Stealth: And?
High Striker: And...
A gaypouch?
Stealth: The gayest pouch ever.
(They both smile.)
Flying Fish: (OVER PA) My wet subjects, I can without a pinch of hesitation assure you that I have never been so happy in all my life to say the following words...
A Cat with a checkered hat turns on the leader board, but Stealth's name blinks as a no show.
Flying Fish: "Let the Random Roster Race commence!"
Cheers! Flying Fish slides down his disgusting banner. He lands in his own kart. A Cat waves the checkered flag. And they’re off! Flying Fish times the speed boost perfectly, but Frozen Cat messes it up.
BEHIND THE STANDS: High Striker and Saw ride on the back of Stealth's ca, as he drives.
High Striker: Okay, remember, you don't have to win. Just cross that finish line, and you'll be a real racer.
Stealth: I'm already a real racer.
High Striker and Saw hop off at the starting line.
Stealth: And I'm going to win.
Stealth speeds across the starting line. He’s in the race!
OUT ON THE TRACK
The racers enter BALL PASS and must dodge stones the size of boulders. Swizzle Malarkey gets hit and is knocked off course. Shoreabreezel Intertide hits a Power-Up. Her kart transforms to reveals an ice cream cannon.
ANNOUNCER: Power up!
She shoots a scoop of ice cream. Flying Fish dodges the scoop, but Jubileena is not so lucky.
ANNOUNCER: Oh, Ala Mode!
Flying Fish hits a Power-Up.
ANNOUNCER: Sweet Seekers!
Flying Fish: Have some donuts!
He fires three fireballs at Snowanna, Gloyd and Shoreabreezel, knocking them out of his way. Shoreabreezel especially is launched through a gumboil machine, shattering it.
Flying Fish moves into 4th place and Stealth into 7th.
Stealth dodges the gumballs and makes a jump boost, overtaking Minty.
Stealth: (to Crumbelina) Behind you!
Stealth: In front of you!
Raincis: Huh!?
Raincis spots Stealth in his side mirror.
Raincis: It's the Bitch!
Luna: The Bitch? Light them up, Sparkletail!
Sparkletail leans over and lights the cherry stems with her tail.
ANNOUNCER: What's this? Exploding pipes!
One by one, the pipes explode as Stealth glitches, trying to avoid the blasts.
Luna: I told you. You're just an accident waiting to happen.
Luna, Sparklefur, and Raincis drive into a giant straw, laughing. Stealth glitches. He suddenly glitches past the cars to the front, driving backwards. Shocked, the bullies lose control and spin out, just as the tunnel spits them out over the sea. Stealth lands hard on the ramp on the far shore, stunned and confused. The rest of the racers miss and crash into a tide pool.
Luna: (SOBBING LIKE A BABY)
Raincis: (said nothing)
Sparkletail: (distraught) My tail!
Stealth: (talking to himself) All right. Gotta keep it under control. No more glitching.
High Striker: Okay, Stealth. Let's finish this thing without any more surprises.
High Striker is hit in the nuts with a gun by Nemesis Inferno.
Nemesis Inferno: Hope you're happy, junk pile. This territory is going down, and it's all your fault.
Saw: My lady, you came back.
Nemesis Inferno: Shut the fuck up, Saw. That alien you brought with you multiplied.
High Striker: No. It died in the swamp. Believe me.
The swarm burst out of the ground behind the bleachers.
Nemesis Inferno: Bullshit.
Nemesis Inferno: Listen up, people. Head to Park Central Station now! Move it! Let's go! Let's go! Go! Go! Go!
Flying Fish drives past the cold mountains when Stealth overtakes him.
Flying Fish: (in slow motion) Whaaa?
Stealth finally overtakes Flying Fish. Flying Fish furiously took a blocked shortcut. Stealth went in the tunnel and kept on driving. But Flying Fish suddenly came out of nowhere.
Stealth: Huh?
Flying Fish: Get off of my track!
Stealth: Hey!
Stealth: What, are you crazy!
Flying Fish: I forbid you to cross that finish line!
Stealth: Knock it off!
Saw: High Striker, look!
High Striker: Cat!
Stealth: Stop it!
Flying Fish: I'm not letting you undo all my hard work!
Flying Fish and Stealth start fighting and Flying Fish starts glitching.
Saw: Is that...
Flying Fish was SPACE STATION ZERO
High Striker: No way!
Flying Fish: Ahhhh!
Stealth:What the— Who are you?!
Space Station Zero: Im Space station zero, the greatest ride at thorpe park ever! And I did not retheme this world to let YOU AND THAT MALE KANGAROO WITH A POUCH TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!!!
Space Station Zero: Space tastic
Space Station Zero: END OF THE LINE, BITCH!!!
Stealth: Bitch. That's it.
Stealth: Come on, Stealth. I know you said you wouldn't do it again but you're going to do it one more time. Just focus and concentrate and... glitch!
She glitches, disappears, and reappears to the left of the fork. Space Station Zero swerves, bounces off the wall, and heads down the right hand tunnel.
Stealth: HAHAAA!! Sweet fucker! I did it!
Stealth speeds off and out of the mines.
Space Station Zero: NOOO!!!
A Swarm alien eats Space Station Zero
Space Station Zero: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Swarm eats him
High Striker: Bring it home, cat! The finish line's wide open!
Stealth kept on going but the swarm invades and stealth drives off the road.
High Striker: No!
High Striker and Saw leave the finish line and run to him.
High Striker scoops him up out of candy debris.
High Striker: Cat, are you okay?
Stealth: I’m fine, I’m fine. Let’s finish this race!
They turn to see that the finish line is being completely over-run by swarms. It collapses.
Saw: Oh my park.
High Striker: Alright, come on, we gotta get out of here.
They run out of the arena.
Stealth: But I didn’t cross the finish line!
High Striker: There is no finish line!
ON THE RAINBOW: Nemesis Inferno shoots aliens.
Nemesis Inferno: Move it or lose it, people. Come on, everybody, out. Now!
High Striker and Stealth come running up the rainbow.
Stealth: High Striker, it's not going to work!
High Striker: We got to try!
High Striker runs through the exit with Stealth on his shoulders, but he’s ripped back into the game.
High Striker: Cat!
Stealth: High Striker, I told you I can't leave the park.
High Striker: Come on. Get through.
He tries to push him through, but he can’t leave.
Stealth: High Striker! Stop!
High Striker: It's got to work!
Stealth: Stop, it's no use.
He jumps out of his hands and he kneels down, on the verge of tears.
Stealth: It's okay, High Striker.
Nemesis Inferno: All right, Saw-It.
Saw joins Nemesis Inferno as the last of the citizens leaves.
Nemesis Inferno: That's everyone. Now, we've got to blow up this exit.
High Striker's weary face falls.
Stealth: Just go. Go without me.
Saw: But what about the park?
Nemesis Inferno: Nothing we can do about it. Without a beacon, there's no way to stop these monsters.
High Striker gets an idea, then looks up at Storm Surge's No Umbrella Zone.
High Striker: Beacon? (To Stealth) Stay with Saw.
He jumps onto Nemesis Inferno's cruiser.
High Striker: (to Nemesis Inferno): Let me borrow that, lady.
Stealth: High Striker! Where are you going?
High Striker: I got some wrecking to do!
High Striker flies off, through the air, most ungracefully.
High Striker: I'll meet you at the finish line!
Saw: No! Wait!
Nemesis Inferno: Saw-It, get behind me!
Nemesis Inferno steps ahead of Saw and Stealth and shoots at the advancing aliens.
High Striker reaches the top of Storm Surge's No Umbrella Zone and jumps off the hover board. The crater’s center are pipes. High Striker strikes it with all of his might.
Small pieces break off the giant stalactite and land in the water beneath. 
BACK ON THE CRATER: High Striker gives it all he’s got. The crater cracks all around. He prepares for a final blow.
High Striker: One more! One...
SLAM! High Striker is knocked aside by what we assume is a Swarm.
He slams hard into the mountain.
Space Station Zero (O.S.): Welcome to the boss level!
High Striker looks up to see he is face-to-face with a giant, monstrous Space Station Zero Swarm mash up.
High Striker: (stunned) Space Station Zero.
Space Station Zero: (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) Because of you, High Striker, I'm now the most powerful ride in the uk! I can take over any park I want. I should thank you, but it'd be more fun to destroy you.
Space Station Zero lunges at him. High Striker rolls past him.
Space Station Zero: Get back here, little ride!
Space Station Zero diverts High Striker with his Swarm feet, then as High Striker tries to slam the pipes.
Space Station Zero: Have some donuts!
Space Station Zero swipes him with his tail.
High Striker gets to his feet and dives for the crater.
Space Station Zero: Where do you think you're going?
High Striker slides under Space Station Zero and throws him aside, but Space Station Zero rolls towards him and catches him by his feet.
Space Station Zero: I'm not through with you yet. Up we go!
They fly up into the sky.
High Striker: No!
Nemesis Inferno struggles to fight off the swarms as they swarm the exit.
Stealth: High Striker!
Nemesis Inferno runs out of ammo. She resorts to swatting away the aliens with her gun.
Nemesis Inferno: Fall back.
BACK IN THE AIR:
High Striker: (looking on) Cat!
Nemesis Inferno and Saw fall back through the exit. Stealth stands in front of the swarm, alone.
High Striker: Stealth!
Space Station Zero: Oh, look at that. It's your little friend. Let's watch him die together, shall we?
High Striker: No!
High Striker looks down at Stealth, then looks to his goal, the volcano now far enough below him to slam down all the pipes.
Space Station Zero: It's game over for both of you.
High Striker: (determined) No. Just for me!
High Striker breaks free from Space Station Zero’s grasp and free falls.
BACK ON THE RAINBOW: Stealth sees High Striker falling from such a great height.
Stealth: High Striker!
Saw: Stealth!
A Swarm closes in on her. He glitches and lands on top of the Swarm. He glitches again and again, bouncing off Swarms towards the mountain.
BACK IN THE AIR: High Striker extends his fist downward to the pipes, but is unable to keep steady, knowing full well that the water will freeze him.
High Striker: (reciting the BA affirmation) I'm bad, and that's cool. I will never be cool, and that's not bad.
Stealth’s medal slips out of his shirt. He grabs onto it and hugs it to his chest.
High Striker: There's no ride I'd rather be...
...than me.
The medal gives him strength as he slams his hammer down on the volcano’s pipes crater. The top of the mountain explodes, and the stalactites fall towards the freezing cold water. High Striker falls with them. This is it. He's gonna die a hero.
Suddenly, Stealth rides up the side ramp in Crumbelina's kart. She makes the big jump and catches High Striker on the hood of his kart.
High Striker: Cat!
Stealth: Don't worry. I got it under control.
He glitches through the side of the mountain just as the cold springs erupt and shoot upwards in a shining geyser. The Swarm instinctively stop fighting. They turn and fly towards the geyser's bright light. ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
Up in the air, Space Station Zero looks around at the other swarms.
Space Station Zero: You fools! Why are you going into the ligh...
Space Station Zero: (CHUCKLES) No! No, no, no. Yes... No! Yes... No! Go into the light!
He flies right into the light and is zapped and dead. High Striker and Stealth crash land in the seaweed river.
High Striker: Seaweed? (LAUGHS) It's seaweed! I love seaweed!
High Striker: Oh, beautiful seaweed!
Stealth: Yeah!
Saw and Nemesis Inferno see it all from the rainbow.
Saw: (joyous) Haha! You did it, High Striker! Oh, way to go, brother!
He laughs for joy. Saw hops up and gives Nemesis Inferno a kiss on her cheek. She looks at him like she’s going to kill him and yanks him up by his collars to her eye level.
Saw: I... Excuse...
She slams her lips on his. It’s worth a million points.
Saw puts the finishing touches on the finish line.
Saw: All fixed.
High Striker: You ready for this?
Stealth: As ready as I'll ever be.
The threads flicker. Stealth’s lonely box is suddenly attached to the giant web by dozens of threads.
The faces of her citizens brighten as they remember, too. Tidal Wave returns, a branch stuck to her hair.
High Striker: Huh?
The cats and wolves share a smile.
Nemesis Inferno: Saw-It, Strike-It, the park's about to open. Let's move 'em out.
Saw joins Nemesis Inferno in the shuttle parked by the finish line. High Striker turns to Stealth. He runs into his arms.
Stealth: You could just stay here and live in the castle. You'd have your own wing where no one would ever complain about your stench or treat you bad ever again. You could be happy.
High Striker: I'm already happy. I've got the coolest friend in the world. And besides, I've got a job to do, too. It may not be as fancy as being president, but it's my duty. And it's a big duty!
Stealth: (CHUCKLES)
Saw: High Striker!
High Striker: All right. To be continued. Yeah!
High Striker jumps in the shuttle and watches him until the door closes.
INT. THORPE PARK
Eve Rendell grabs the out-of-order sign, just as High Striker rushes into the game.
High Striker (IN GAME): I’m gonna strike it!
Eve Rendell: Hey Chickaroos back!
INT. BadANON
High Striker: So, I'm happy to report, and you'll be happy to hear, I'm taking life one ride at a time.
Catopillar claps.
Rampage: All right! Yeah, High Striker!
The same building. Same game. High Striker falls in the mud. SPLAT!
High Striker (V.O): Of course, the job hasn't changed.
The other Rides bring him a Placement cake. His ugly figurine is on the roof of it with everyone else this time.
High Striker (V.O): But, news flash, the other Rides are being nice to me! And you know, that got me thinking about those poor guys left without a park.
High Striker (V.O.): So here's what we did. We're gonna strike it!
The homeless characters help High Striker wreck the building.
High Striker (V.O.): We asked them to help us out on the bonus levels.
Saw: We can fix it!
Colossus: Duhh
Saw and Colossus work together to fix the building
High Striker (V.O.): I'm telling you, guys, I haven't been this popular in years. It's crazy.
INT. THORPE PARK 
Riders line up for high striker as Jacob gets kicked off for being too fat.
Jacob: Ay?
High Striker (V.O.): The riders say I'm "gay," which I think means "old but cool."
Kian: How have we never noticed this ride?
High Striker (V.O.): Oh, and I decided that living in the dump wasn't making me feel very good, so I cleaned it up, built myself a little shack and a couple for the new guys, too.
High Striker builds a rudimentary home. Nearby, Saw completes a row of professional-looking homes.
High Striker (V.O): Well, with a little help from Saw.
INT. CHURCH DAY: Saw and Nemesis Inferno are getting Married.
High Striker(V.O): And guess who was the best man at his and Nemesis Inferno's wedding.
High Striker stands beside Saw as his best man. Stealth in his tuxedo is there too.
High Striker (V.O): That's right, my friends, old Strike Hands himself. Very elegant affair. You should've seen it. Lot of grandeur. And not a single alien.
All the soldiers are on Nemesis Inferno’s side of the aisle. They cock their guns at the window. No aliens. All the other Rides and Samurai (who whispers Japanese swear words at High Striker). They kiss.
High Striker (V.O): Let's just say, some tears were shed.
High Striker (V.O): And I also gave Samurai a taste of his own medicine for swearing at me 
High Striker goes to Samurai. 
High Striker: And I did purchase a Japanese dictionary. (Hits samurai) I didn't like what you said. (Hits samurai) Dick.
High Striker (V.O): The best part of my day, is when I get riders. Because when I lift riders up, I get a perfect view of Amity Speedway.
As they carry him to the edge of the roof, he looks out.
High Striker's POV: Through the park, Philipa and Anthony are on Stealth. 
Philipa: We're going to see mrs pancakes anthony. 
Anthony: OH GODDDDDDDDDDD
High Striker (V.O): And I can watch Stealth racing. The cat's a natural, and the riders love him, rollbacks and all, just like I knew they would.
He goes over the top
High Striker (V.O) Turns out I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a cool ride. Because if that cheetah likes me...
Stealth then looks over at High Striker and gives a little wave.
High Striker beams with pride. He waves back.
High Striker (V.O): ...How lame can I Be.
Category:Transcript