There’s Something About Noseward

There's Something About Noseward is the twenty-second episode of Cult of Squid. It aired February 7th, 2020 and was written by Purple133. 
== Plot ==
Noseward starts to have memories of an alternate past where the cult lost control and Squidward went to jail; meanwhile, Security and the Initiator find themselves in quite the pickle when they ruin one of Doctor Crayons’ experiments.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins in Noseward’s room)
Noseward: (sleep talking) why is everything burning?
Security: Uh Noseward, I just came to wake you up, why are you talking in your sleep again?
Noseward: No idea. I had this weird dream right? The cult was out of power and also on fire, and you were there.
Security: Oh! Well I’m going to go see what the good Doctor is up to.
(Security walks into Doctor Crayons’ lab and sees a coke bottle with wires attached to it)
Security: INITIATOR WHERE ARE YOU?!
(The Initiator pops up)
The Initiator: You called?
Security: Yeah. Hey, where did you come from?
The Initiator: That my friend is a secret. Now what do you need?
Security: You need to stop leaving your coke bottles around everywhere.
The Initiator: Can you prove that’s mine?
Security: No.
The Initiator: Is there still stuff in there?
Security: I think so, yeah.
(The Initiator drinks the remaining coke and the machine it was hooked up to explodes; Security heats Doctor Crayons humming outside of the door)
Security: SHIT! 
The Initiator: Hey so now seems like a good time to vanish again. Good luck and don’t die I actually sort of like you. Bye!
Security: Oh no you don’t!
The Initiator: WE’RE BOTH DEAD. 
(Cut to Noseward talking to Squidward)
Noseward: Brother Squidward, I’ve been having these odd visions lately. 
Squidward: Oh yeah? Well, please share with the class.
(Squidward has a bunch of toddler squids in front of him)
Noseward: Why do you have a bunch of children?
Squidward: We need to ensure the cult lasts for generations okay?
Noseward: Hey kids! It is I, Brother Noseward! Today I had a vision that the cult was on fire!
Kid 1: Dooooooooooooooooooooook
Kid 2: Uh oh
Squidward: Wait what?
Noseward: Yeah like there was a bunch of people attacking us and Doctor Crayons set off a bomb and-
Squidward: That sounds like the other life.
Noseward: What other life?
Squidward: Never mind. Where is Security? I need to talk to him. 
(Cut to Doctor Crayons’ lab as he opens the door and sees Security and The Initiator have ruined his experiment)
Security: Oh hi Doctor Crayons! How are you today?
Doctor Crayons: Do you mind explaining what the hell happened to my experiment? 
Security: Hey is that Brother Squidward calling me? Well Initiator, this would appear to be your problem!
The Initiator: NO NO NO!
(Security runs to Squidward, leaving the Initiator to feel Doctor Crayons’ wrath)
The Initiator: So um funny story actually, I just uhhhh
Doctor Crayons: YOU’RE DEAD SON!
The Initiator: OH SHOOT. 
(Cut to Security with Noseward and Squidward)
Squidward: So uh Security remember how I told you about that time I lived an entirely different life but then struck a deal with Satan and got the cult back in control?
Security: Uh vaguely, why sir? 
Noseward: I’ve been seeing it in my dreams. 
Security: Yeah, yeah.
Squidward: Ah, how very odd. Do we know why?
Noseward: No idea. 
Squidward: Well uh let’s work on figuring that out. But I have an announcement to make to the cult in light of these visions. 
(Cut to Squidward making an announcement to the cult while standing on his podium)
Squidward: My brothers today I must share with you a secr- BROTHER SNOOZY WAKE UP GODDAMMIT!
Snoozy: What? Oh I’m just a running joke I’m not important.
Squidward: Oh, alright. Well cult, today I want to share something with you. So remember how we beat the Feathered Friends in that big battle a few months ago? Well uh that isn’t what actually happened. See a few months ago we did fight a massive battle, but we lost because we were betrayed by one of our own. I won’t say names but Doctor Crayons what the [dolphin noises] bro?! After we lost, myself and a few others were imprisoned. So how did I get out? Well I uh summoned Satan.
Brother Brother: DEAR GOD!
Brother Immigrant: You made a deal with the devil to get another chance?
Squidward: Yeah, exactly. 
Brother ICE: Hey, when did you join our ranks Brother Immigrant?
Brother Immigrant: Oh sh-
Squidward: Thank you all for your time here today. Also, I’ve received word that tomorrow we will initiate a new cult member, so that’s cool. 
(Episode closes with Squidward heading to bed and as he sleeps, a mysterious amber light shines in the distance outside of his window)
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