True and Honest Deathbattle (An Enemies to Reveal Lovers Story)

"True and Honest Deathbattle (An Enemies to Reveal Lovers Story)" is the first SBFW: THREE'S A CROWD short. Written primarily by Cheese Sauce Fan 2007, the short was deemed too offensive to air on Edgemo and was hence released to the BBC channel on August 24, 2022.
== Development ==
The short was originally planned to be the third episode of the series but due to a lack of creativity, was left unfinished. After modifications to the script by series creator JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway, it was swiftly repurposed as a short.
== Synopsis ==
Ken Stringfellow, and Chris-Chan are stuck in a broken elevator.
== Transcript ==
[The short, quirky theme song plays as a crude, rainbow-coloured MS Paint logo saying “THREE’S A CROWD SHORTZ” dances to the rhythm.]
Narrator Who Conveniently Never Appears Again: This episode of THREE’S A CROWD SHORTZ is brought to you by antipsychotic medication! Take it. Please.
[We cut to and Chris-Chan huddled in the corner of an elevator as Ken Stringfellow sets up his web.]
Rivers: Does it have to take up that much space? 
[Ken turns his head a solid 180 degrees and stares at Rivers.]
Rivers: I’ll take that as a yes.
[Ken turns his head back around and continues setting up the web.]
Chris: My Sonichu balls can’t take this for much longer.
Ken: If you don’t want me to bite that taint right back open, I suggest you stop complaining.
[Rivers cannot handle the mental image and starts crying. Ken sighs angrily.]
Chris: And to think I could be at home with my beautiful wife.
[Rivers stops crying immediately.]
Rivers: Wait, did you just say lesbian?
Chris: I did. Are you also a lesbian woman?
[Cut to a shot of Ken’s face.]
Ken: [interior monologue] Man, if I’d known I was in this elevator with two girls, this cum web would reach maximum capacity. The thought of chompin’ on those big, beautiful– 
[We cut back to Rivers.]
Rivers: [laughs] No, I just wrote a song about lesbianism once.
[There is another cut back to Ken’s face.]
Ken: [interior monologue] God fucking damn it.
[We zoom out to the whole elevator.]
Chris: I’d like to hear this, it might remind me of my beautiful Barbara…
[Rivers unscrews the top of his head and takes an MP3 player out of his skull, before screwing it back on. He hands Chris the MP3 player.]
Chris: Thank you.
Rivers: No problem.
[The band ’s “” begins to play as Ken finishes the web and hops off, tearing up at the first few chords. A time card interrupts the song, saying “A few minutes later…”, before cutting back to the elevator, where the song has ended. Ken is crying, Rivers is sitting proudly, Chris is bewildered.]
Rivers: So, what did you guys think?
Chris: That didn’t remind me of my beautiful Barb at all! Some “songwriter” you are.
Ken: SILENCE, YOU BUMBLING OAF! That was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever laid my ears upon.
[Chris vomits intensely and the short ends.]
Category:SBFW: THREE'S A CROWD
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Category:2022 Shorts
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Category:Episodes written by Cheese sauce fan 2007
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