Two's A Cloud/Transcript

The follwing is a transcript for the episode "Two's A Cloud".
== ==
(Poppy and a crowd of Trolls are in a pile holding their hug.)
Poppy: Hold the hug. Hold the hug! (Soon, some Trolls fall down and the pile collapses.) Time?
Troll #1: 10 days and 44 seconds. A new group hug record! (The crowd cheers and Branch appears.)
Branch: Too much affection! Got to be alone! Got to be alone!
Poppy: (Getting down with her hair) Great effort, guys! What’s next?
Branch: Ooh-ooh-ooh! We all go home and sit in silence! Wahoo! Yeah! Awesome! (He dances and mimics a record scratching.)
Keith: How about hide-and-seek? (The crowd cheers again.)
Poppy: Woo-hoo! (She jumps while spinning and waves her arms in the air.) What do you say, Branch? Hide-and-seek? (Branch does not answer.) Branch? Branch? Huh.
Keith: Oh, he’s good. (Branch goes to his bunker.)
Branch: Phew! (He sits in his chair and sighs. Then he puts the leg lifter up.) Finally, some alone time. (He presses a button on Gary and a drink appears. Just before he starts drinking, he hears a faucet squeaking and water running. He drops his glass.) Intruder! (With a weapon, he stealthily goes to his bathroom. He sees his shower on, heads to it, and turns it off. Steam can be seen.) Who turned the shower on?
Voice: (As the steam moves) It was…
Branch: (Doing a face palm) Oh, please, not now! (The steam reveals that it was Cloud Guy who turned on his shower.)
Cloud Guy: Me. (Branch screams and falls head-first into a puddle.) Hey, Branch. How’s it going? Uh, just a heads up, I clogged the toilet. It was a real Category 5. (Branch looks at his toilet filled with thunder and lightning. Cloud Guy hums a tune while drying himself with Branch’s towels. He throws some on the floor and throws the rest in Branch’s face.) Oh, by the way, we’re out of towels.
Branch: (Removing the towels from his face) Well, Cloud Guy, this has been delight-less, as usual. Time to go.
Cloud Guy: Go? (He chuckles and picks Branch up.) I live here, Puffalo rear. We’re roommates now!
Branch: What?! No way! You can’t just move into someone’s bunker without asking. (Cloud Guy appears in a puddle.)
Cloud Guy: Can I move into your bunker?
Branch: Absolutely not!
Cloud Guy: (Not listening to Branch) OK! (He jumps out of the puddle with a suitcase of socks.)
Branch: Uh… What? (Cloud Guy opens his suitcase and lots of socks and pictures come out. They land all over his living room.) I said no!
Cloud Guy: Nope. You said I couldn’t move in without asking, and I asked, roomie. (He rubs Branch’s hair.) Ha-ha! (Branch frees himself and takes out a tiny vacuum.) Whoa! (Branch sucks him into the vacuum and puts him in a green vent.)
Branch: Hm. (He pulls a switch and the vent sends Cloud Guy flying skyward. Then he sits in his chair again. As he picks up and opens a red cup, Cloud Guy reappears like a genie in a lamp.) Huh?
Cloud Guy: Phew! Glad you got rid of that guy. (Branch screams in anger as Cloud Guy goes through his ear.)
Branch: (As Cloud Guy spins his chair) Whoa!
Cloud Guy: Look, Branch, I’m not leaving. (As he talks, he spins Branch in his chair, sending him flying.) My parents live next to my old place and they refuse to acknowledge I’m an adult who can take care of himself. They’re constantly barging in and pestering me.
Branch: (Lying in a shelf) Can’t imagine what that’s like.
Cloud Guy: I know. They have no boundaries. (He removes his socks and his stinky feet causes Branch to pinch his nose.)
Branch: No, you’re just trying to drive me crazy, like you always do. (He gets up.) But you’re not gonna get to me this time, Cloud Guy. Nothing you do will remove this smile from my face. (We then show a montage of Branch living with Cloud Guy as he burns his couch by shooting lightning on it, taking out the trash as Cloud Guy puts more on the floor, trying to sleep while Cloud Guy rains on him, and him throwing his socks in Branch’s face and cereal. As this happens, Ain’t Getting To Me plays.)
(Branch)
Nothing can get to me
I’m totally worry-free
Yeah, I’m relaxed and flexible
Just look at how calm I am
Because nothing is out of hand
So why would I ever lose my cool?
You
(Vocalists)
Hey!
(Branch)
You ain’t getting to me, no
(Vocalists)
No way!
(Branch)
No matter what you do
I’ll keep on smiling
Because I’m totally fine
You ain’t getting to me, me
You ain’t getting to me, me
You ain’t getting to me, me
I’ll keep on smiling
Because I’m totally fine
You ain’t getting to me
You ain’t getting to me
You ain’t getting to me
You ain’t getting to me (Branch finally loses his temper and screams.)
Branch: I’m going out! I’m going out! (He sits on a log by a lake and throws a rock. Poppy appears in a bush costume.)
Poppy: (As Branch screams) Branch, you’re not hiding well.
Branch: Poppy, I’m not playing hide-and-seek. I’m trying to be alone, which is impossible, because Cloud Guy just moved himself into my bunker!
Poppy: Cloud Guy? Fun! (Branch grunts.) Oh, come on, Branch. He just likes messing with you. If you don’t let it bother you, he’ll leave.
Branch: No, he won’t leave. He’s moved in because of his… (chuckles) Oh! (He comes up with an idea and goes back to his bunker. Then he knocks on Cloud Guy’s room door.) Hey, Cloud Guy? Look, we got off on a bad foot. How about we celebrate you moving in by having a couple of guests over?
Cloud Guy: (gasps) Bunker party! Wait. Who did you invite?
Dad Cloud and Mom Cloud: (Appearing in vents) It was… us! (Cloud Guy yells and runs out of his room.)
Branch: (whispers) Your parents. (Dad Cloud and Mom Cloud open the door, sending him and Cloud Guy flying into a shelf of socks.)
Dad Cloud and Mom Cloud: Son!
Cloud Guy: I will never forgive you for this! Mom? Dad? What a pleasant surprise. (grunts) Thanks, Branch.
Branch: (chuckles) Oh, no need to thank me, pal. (He jumps off the shelf.) What kind of Troll would I be if I didn’t have my roomie’s parents over… regularly? (Cloud Guy gasps.)
Mom Cloud: (laughs) Son, aren’t you gonna hug your parents?
Dad Cloud: Yeah, get over here, champ! (He and Mom Cloud spread their arms out. Cloud Guy tries to hug them, but his parents hug.)
Dad Cloud and Mom Cloud: Too slow! (They laugh and Cloud Guy folds his arms.)
Branch: (snorts) Classic.
Dad Cloud: (Rubbing Cloud Guy’s head) Oh, just razzing you, son. (He, his wife and son walk into the living room.) Hey, got to say, we really like your new place… because we’re too polite to tell you the truth. (He and his wife laugh.)
Cloud Guy: Well, I’m not a Cloud Boy anymore. I’m a Cloud Guy. I can live wherever I want.
Mom Cloud: (Rubbing her son’s cheeks) Well, of course you can.
Cloud Guy: Mom, stop!
Mom Cloud: Uh-oh. I feel a warm front coming on.
Cloud Guy: I’m fine.
Mom Cloud: (Holding her son’s eyelid up) What color is your precipitation? That’s it. I’m taking your temperature. (She puts a thermometer in Cloud Guy’s mouth.)
Dad Cloud: And your barometric pressure. (He puts another thermometer in Cloud Guy’s mouth. Then he spits them out.)
Mom Cloud: Is this how you’re styling your wisps these days? Wouldn’t be my first choice. (She brushes Cloud Guy’s hair.)
Branch: That’s what I keep telling him. And doesn’t he look a little thin to you?
Dad Cloud: He’s got a point, son. Someone’s not getting enough particulates. (Cloud Guy groans.)
Branch: Well, I’m just gonna pop out and let you three get all caught up. For as long as Cloud Guy lives here, when it comes to you two, my vents are always open. (He goes up his elevator and whirring and clattering can be heard. He then goes back down.) Hey, what’s all the racket going on here? What is this? (He sees pictures of Cloud Guy and his family.)
Dad Cloud and Mom Cloud: We’re moving in!
Branch: Moving in?!
Mom Cloud: Yup. You did say, “Please move in with us. Your son and I could really use the help.”
Branch: What?! No! I said, “My vents are always open.”
Dad Cloud: Eh, tornado, tornahdo.
Mom Cloud: (At Branch’s rations) Yes, this place really needs a good spring-cleaning. (She picks up a garbage back and throws one of the rations in it.) It’s like a storm blew through here, but… not in a good way. (She throws more rations in the garbage bag.)
Branch: No!
Mom Cloud: Yes! These jars look like they haven’t been touched in years.
Branch: That’s the whole point of rations! (He takes the jar back and hisses. Then he looks at Cloud Guy.)
Cloud Guy: You brought this on yourself. (Early the next morning, he and Branch are sleeping. Just then, Dad Cloud wakes them up by opening the door.)
Dad Cloud: Rise and shine! (Branch and Cloud Guy wake up fall down.) It’s nearly 4:00 a.m.! Whew! Somebody crack a window up in here. (Soon, Cloud Guy and Branch are at the table.)
Mom Cloud: Breakfast is ready. Now, you boys, let me know if you need seconds. (She licks her fingers and brushes them on Branch’s hair.) Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you will, you growing boys, you.
Dad Cloud: (Rubbing his son’s head) “Make sure you chew thoroughly,” my father always used to tell me.
Mom Cloud: Here. Let me cut that for you.
Dad Cloud: You, too, son!
Mom Cloud: My handsome boys. (She pulls Branch’s cheek. After breakfast, he goes to his closet, only to see that his leaf vests are missing. We can see that he is shirtless.)
Branch: Uh… Where are all my leaf vests?
Dad Cloud: (Only showing his face) Those were vests? I just thought you were really bad at taking care of plants! (On the couch, Mom Cloud puts a red sweater on Branch.)
Mom Cloud: Oh, so cute! (Dad Cloud burps out a camera.)
Dad Cloud: Say cumulus congestus! (He tries to take a picture, but his wife stops him.)
Mom Cloud: Wait, wait, wait. You have a little um… (She goes over to her son.) Uh… (She wipes her son’s face.)
Dad Cloud: Yeah, you have a little… Let me see. (He and his wife fix Cloud Guy and Branch’s hair.) Fix your hair a little more. Smile for your papa! (Later, Branch and Cloud Guy lie down on the bed.)
Branch: We can’t keep living this way.
Cloud Guy: What choice do we have? If we run, they will find us. Like two well-meaning monsters, who help us and help us until there’s nothing left to help.
Branch: “Nothing left to help.” That’s it! Cloud Guy, if we work together, we can both get out of this.
Cloud Guy: You mean, the two of us actually teaming up to fight the force of over-parenting? (He looks at Branch.) Put her there, pal! (He holds out his hand.)
Branch: You’re gonna pull your hand away and say “too slow,” aren’t you?
Cloud Guy: No. (He puts his hand down. (Branch sighs. The next morning, Dad Cloud bursts into Branch’s room with cymbals.)
Dad Cloud: Rise and shi… (He sees that Branch and Cloud Guy are gone. We can see that the blanket on Branch’s bed is gone. He goes out to warn his wife.) Dear, I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m afraid the boys have been taken by some very tidy kidnappers.
Mom Cloud: And they folded the laundry before they finished the job! (Branch laughs in a waiter outfit.)
Branch: It wasn’t kidnappers. It was… (Cloud Guy pops up wearing a tie.)
Cloud Guy: Us! Good morning, my beloved parents.
Branch: Cloud Guy prepared your favorite, poached vapor.
Cloud Guy: Oh, please! Team effort. (He and Branch laugh.)
Branch: It was. It really was.
Mom Cloud: Oh, well, you hear that, dear? They’ve already made breakfast… without our help.
Dad Cloud: Well, I’m sure we can lend a hand in some way. (Cloud Guy appears behind him and his wife.)
Cloud Guy: No. No need. (He teleports his parents to the table.) Dirty spoon!
Branch: (singsong) On it!
Cloud Guy: See? Everything’s under control.
Dad Cloud and Mom Cloud: Everything? (They get off their chairs.) NO!
Mom Cloud: Uh… I mean, I know, I’ll iron the-
Branch: (Ironing the socks) Already ironed!
Dad Cloud: Well, then let me repair the-
Cloud Guy: (Repairing the pipes) Done and done.
Mom Cloud: What if I knit the-
Branch: (Putting a scarf on Mom Cloud) Oh, don’t bother!
Dad Cloud: Or balance the-
Branch: Mm-hm. Already balanced. (He and Cloud Guy guide his parents to the couch.) Take a load off. There’s nothing left for you to do.
Cloud Guy: Nothing. (He hits his mother’s side.) Oop! Here, let me fix that for you.
Branch: (Combing Dad Cloud’s mustache) There it is. There it is. Oh, that looks better. That looks better. (Cloud Guy laughs.) Oh, look at you! What do you know? Fresh as a daisy. Coochy-coo!
Dad Cloud and Mom Cloud:  ENOUGH! (They pack up.) We’re going to visit your sister! (They go up the vent and fly skyward. Branch and Cloud Guy remove their uniforms.)
Branch and Cloud Guy: VICTORY! (They do fist bumps and a high-five. Cloud Guy falls over and Branch helps him up.)
Cloud Guy: Master plan, Branch, my man.
Branch: You know, we should work together more often. What do you say, roomie?
Cloud Guy: (gasps) I say… that’s not gonna work for me. (He inhales all his stuff into his mouth.)
Branch: Huh?
Cloud Guy: It would kill our dynamic. You know, I bug you, you get bugged by me. When it doesn’t bother you, I sort of lose interest. Cloud Guy, out! (He gets in the vent and leaves. Branch gets back to his normal private routines. He eats breakfast and brushes his teeth. Then he flushes his toilet and sits in his chair.)
Branch: (sighs) Alone at last. (Just then, Keith bursts in and he screams.)
Keith: Found you, Branch! (The Trolls laugh at Branch and he grunts angrily.)
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