Attitude Adjustment

Attitude Adjustment is the seventh episode of the first season of Patrick in Kelp City and the 7th episode overall. It was written by , and directed by , and aired on May 18th, 2020 on Canary TV.
==Transcript==
[Episode begins with Patrick lounging on the couch eating an almost empty packet of marshmallows. SpongeBob walks over to him.]
SpongeBob: Marshmallows? When did you get marshmallows?
Patrick: Remember when I went to the convenience store? I picked up a few packets of marshmallows.
SpongeBob: Are there any more marshmallow packets?
Patrick: Yeah, just look in the pantry.
[Cut to the kitchen where SpongeBob opens the pantry door. It overflows with packets of marshmallows.]
SpongeBob: PATRICK!!
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: YOU SAID YOU ONLY GOT A FEW PACKETS, YET HERE I AM DROWNING IN MARSHMALLOW PACKETS!!
Patrick: Isn't 86 a few?
SpongeBob: (Sigh) No, it isn't!
[A knock is heard at the door. SpongeBob answers it, the mail fish man is there.]
Mail Fish Man: This is for you.
[Mail Fish Man hands him some taxes, then shuts the door. SpongeBob reads the taxes, and his eyes grow wide.]
SpongeBob: YOU SPENT $50,000 ON MARSHMALLOWS?!
Patrick: Yeah, duh.
SpongeBob: Patrick, Mr. Krabs doesn't give me enough money for this! If we don't wanna be in jail, I suggest you get a high-paying job, quickly!
Patrick: Shit.
[Patrick opens the newspaper looking for high-paying jobs.]
Patrick: This looks like a good one.
[Cut to Patrick sitting on a stool looking at a red wall.]
Patrick: How much longer do I have to-
Boss Fish: SHUSH! No talking until the paint is dry!
[Patrick continues looking at the wall. Fade to the next scene where it's nighttime, and Patrick is still staring at the wall.]
Patrick: I think it's dry now.
Boss Fish: Ah, good! You've done a very good job, Mr. Star. Here. 
[Boss Fish hands him a $1 bill.]
Patrick: A piece of green paper? But I wanted money!
Boss Fish: Uhh… that is money, you buffoon.
Patrick: Oh. Is it $50,000?
Boss Fish: No, that's $1.
Patrick: Aww! Can I have a $49,999 money?
Boss Fish: That doesn't even exist. Now go home!
[Cut to Patrick reading the newspaper again, and then in a dark office resembling that of a certain point-and-click horror game.]
Boss Fish 2: (on phone) So basically, watch the place 'till morning and make sure nothing happens.
Patrick: Okay… but… this looks like a scary place.
Boss Fish 2: Relax! Teddy Tadpole's Pizza is the safest establishment on-(dial tone)
Patrick: Sigh… nobody likes Five Nights at Freddy’s anymore. Can we just cut to the next job already?
[Teddy Tadpole is standing right behind him. Y'know, like a scary animatronic would. Patrick then turns around, screams, and punches him in the face, causing his head to fall off. Cut back to Patrick reading the newspaper and then in a bright office where we see lots of people.]
Patrick: I have to write fanfiction?
Boss 3 (Jasbre): Yes, now get to it, chappy.
[Patrick writes a fanfiction about him moving to Kelp City. When he finishes he shows it to the boss (Jasbre.)]
Boss 3 (Jasbre): Cool. What is it called?
Patrick: Moving out.
[Patrick is kicked out of the building.]
Patrick: Well, I didn't wanna do this. But it appears I have no other choice. I'm gonna go on… a game show.
[Cut to Patrick in a game show.]
Game Show Host: AAAaaaaaaaand welcome back to Are You Smarter Than A Clam? The game show where we compare your intelligence to that of a clam's! Today's contestants are: Squidward Q. Tentacles, Fred "My Leg", and Patrick Star! Now, first question.
[He presses a button and a question pops up: 'What is the solution to the equation 2+2?' The contestants write down their answers on a piece of cardboard.]
Game Show Host: Show us your answer, Squidward.
[Squidward shows his cardboard, which reads '4']
Game Show Host: Show us your answer, Fred.
[Fred shows his cardboard, which reads 'The solution to the equation 2 + 2 can be solved in different ways, however, the most simple is to count. If you add 2 to 2, you'd get 2 2's, which would equal 4. Thus, the solution to the equation 2 + 2 is 4', but Squidward steps on his foot, which causes Fred to erase his answer and write 'MY FOOT!']
Game Show Host: Show us your answer, Patrick.
[Patrick is eating his piece of cardboard.]
Game Show Host: What about you, clam?
Clam: (silence)
Game Show Host: Welp, guess the winner's Squidward. Take this $49,999.
Squidward: Thank you. (He takes it, but Fred takes it from Squidward)
Fred: This is to pay for my foot injuries.
[Fred grumpily walks away.]
Squidward: Sigh.
[Cut to Patrick guiltily lounging on the couch.]
SpongeBob: Did you get the money?
Patrick: I tried, but all I could get was this one dollar.
SpongeBob: Oh… wait a second… these taxes are for CARL!
[Carl walks into the room with a sandwich in hand.]
Carl: Oh, you got my taxes. Thanks, I'll take them.
[SpongeBob gives Carl the taxes.]
Carl: [to himself] Phew. Good thing they didn't open it fully.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Huh?
Carl: Nothing! Nothing. Go back to… uh… whatever it is you do.
Patrick: Sounds good to me.
[End of episode.]
Category:2020
Category:2020 Episodes
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Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
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Category:Episodes written by PrimitiveSponge129
Category:Episodes Directed by TheJasbre202
Category:TheJasbre202
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Category:Patrick in Kelp City
Category:2020s