Episode 315: Lesley Ann Warren

Gonzo unveils his new act: riding his motorcycle up a ramp and into Statler and Waldorf's theater box, having first taken the safety precaution of chaining them to their chairs while they were dozing. Of course, the bike doesn't even get off the ramp... the first time.
Meanwhile, Kermit doesn't realize that he's booked Lesley Ann Warren; he thought he was getting "Leslie and Warren, the knife throwing act". He's thrilled to learn that his guest star is the multi-talented Ms. Warren, but over the course of the episode, other ersatz guest stars approach, including Lesley and Warren, the Dancing Cucumbers, and a trio named Les, Lee, and Warren.
==Songs/Sketches==
* Gonzo's Motorcycle Act: Attempt 1
* "Beasty and the Beaut"
* Pigs in Space: Dummo Rays
* UK Spot: "Mack the Knife"
*"Just the Way You Are"
* Gonzo's Motorcycle Act: Attempt 2
* "Last Dance"
==Notes==
* Lew Zealand appears in a promotional photo for this episode, but does not appear anywhere in the episode itself.
==Episode==
Picture	Description
 	Cold Open: Scooter wishes luck to Lesley Ann Warren and her apparent dressing roommate, Luncheon Counter Monster, who takes umbrage at the notion of them needing luck.
 	"The Muppet Show Theme": Statler and Waldorf do a short soft-shoe routine during the musical break.
A cow's "MOOO!" comes out from Gonzo's horn. He's shocked when a live one appears beside him.
 	Kermit announces tonight's guest stars - Lesley and Warren, the knife-throwing act, when Scooter reports only one has arrived. Lesley Ann Warren arrives onstage and Kermit apologizes for the mix-up.
 	Gonzo opens the show with his new motorcycle act. He will ride up a ramp and land "safely" between Statler and Waldorf, whom he has chained to their chairs during their nap. He barely makes it up the ramp when his motorcycle shorts out on him and he rolls off the stage.
 	Kermit notes the shaky start they're off to. Gonzo futzes with his bike and ends up sending himself zooming out the stage door.
 	Kermit goes out to introduce Lesley's first number, when he's greeted by Leslie and Warren, the dancing cucumbers. Kermit explains their actual guest is a great singer, dancer and actress. "But can she make salad?," Lesley quips before the two are shooed from the stage.
 	Lesley stars in "Beasty and the Beaut," a ballet interpretation of Beauty and the Beast. Lesley happens upon a castle, which is home to a beast (Doglion). The two share a connection and dance together. Lesley must part and leaves him with a flower to remember her by. Heartbroken, the beast collapses. Time passes and Lesley returns, only to find her friend in a broken-hearted coma. She tries to help him recover, but to no avail. She kisses him, which not only revives him, but makes her a beast too; the two end the scene with an up-tempo, vaudevillian finale.
 	Waldorf asks about the transformation effect and Statler demonstrates.
 	Fozzie reports to Kermit that Gonzo's perfected half of his act - the take-off. His landings still need work, as he crashes into Fozzie and Kermit.
 	Pigs in Space: The Swinetrek is about pass through a series of "Dummo Rays," which only affect the completely mindless. They pass through and only Link Hogthrob is affected. He stays in a stupor, while Miss Piggy seizes the opportunity to assume control of the ship. Dr. Julius Strangepork reports that the effect is temporary and Link comes to. However, he suffers the main side effect of the rays: he's now a tap dancer!
 	UK Spot: Dr. Teeth makes it through a verse of "Mack the Knife" before Sam the Eagle stops him, appalled by the lyrics. Dr. Teeth gives him a kinder interpretation.
 	Kermit introduces Lesley, who'll be performing with Rowlf. The curtains instead reveal Marvin Suggs and The Muppaphone. They begin playing "The Blue Danube" and Lesley is disgusted at Marvin's cruelty. Rowlf appears, claiming someone locked him in his dressing room. When Marvin and the Muppaphone are removed from the stage, Rowlf accompanies Lesley on piano, performing "Just the Way You Are."
 	Gonzo revs up behind the curtains as Kermit introduces his act once more. The curtains barely have a chance to open when Gonzo zooms through them, crashing into the box. The old men faint.
 	Lesley runs into Link at the local discotheque and invites him to dance. Link turns sheepish and tries to leave, but she pulls him back, singing "Last Dance." As she sings, she takes her sober gown off, appears in a bare-shouldered dress as an aggressive go-go dancer, and tugs and throws him about the dance floor, until he and the other patrons join in.
 	Kermit brings out Lesley for the closing, when they meet another misnomer group: Les, Lee, and Warren.
 	Waldorf comments the show was on a roll, and so is the bike, which falls out of the balcony (to Gonzo's dismay).
==Cast==
Muppets:
:Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Scooter, Rowlf the Dog, Statler and Waldorf, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Dr. Teeth, Sam the Eagle, Luncheon Counter Monster, Doglion, Marvin Suggs, The Muppaphone, Lesley and Warren, Les, Lee, and Warren
Background Muppets:
:Male Koozebanian Creature, Female Koozebanian Creature, Annie Sue, Janice, Whatnots, Beauregard, Pigs
==Performers==
:Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Rowlf the Dog, Waldorf, Link Hogthrob and Dr. Teeth
:Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Marvin Suggs and Sam the Eagle
:Jerry Nelson as Dr. Strangepork, Luncheon Counter Monster, Warren the dancing cucumber and Lee
:Richard Hunt as Scooter, Statler, a Muppaphone and Les
:Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Beauregard, Leslie the dancing cucumber and Warren
:Louise Gold as a Muppaphone and others
:Steve Whitmire as others
:Kathryn Mullen as others
==Gallery==
File:Warren03.jpg
File:TMS315-TwoDoglions.jpg
File:Warren04.jpg
File:Warren01.jpg
File:Warren05.jpg
File:Warren06.jpg
File:Warren07.jpg
File:TMS_Performers.JPG
File:Muppet_Performers03.jpg
File:TMSLAW-GonzoHand.jpg
File:TMSLAW-GonzoEyes.jpg
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