Art Crawl/Transcript

Bob: Wow, I thought last year's Art Crawl was terrible, but they really outdid themselves this year, huh?
Louise: Yeah.
Bob: Ugh, bad.
Louise: Very bad.
Gene: Mm-hmm.
Bob: Oh, look at that. Really bad.
Gene: (groans)
Bob: Really, really bad.
Louise: Ugh!
Tina: I think they're... good.
Louise: Dad, why does Art Crawl suck so much?
Bob: Well, it's just a very loose definition of art, Louise. And don't say "suck."
Louise: Don't say "suck," please.
Bob: You're right, though. It does suck. I don't want you kids to think this is what art is.
Tina: We should got to a museum.
Bob: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Gene: Whoa. Yeah, maybe not.
Louise: Yeah we should... We should not go to a museum.
Bob: Let's not overdo it. Let's just walk around and make fun of this stuff.
Gene: Yeah.
Louise: Why don't we just go back to the restaurant?
Bob: Because your Aunt Gayle is there hanging up her art, which we're not allowed to make fun of at all.
Louise: Well, why can't we make fun of Aunt Gayle's paintings? She's family.
Gene: Yeah. That means never holding back anything, right, Pit Stains?
Bob: Am I showing?
Gene: Let's just say your shirt looks like my underwear right now.
Bob: Yeah. Well, look, no one tells Gayle anything she can't handle. That's your mom's rule, all right? You treat her like a mental patient.
Gene: Well, I mean, she probably should be one, right?
Louise: Yeah, I heard she ate her lipstick once because she wanted to feel red inside.
Gene: And she made a dress out of live shrimp and wore it to Mass.
Louise: Oh, and she shaved her cat.
Bob: Come on, Louise. You know none of that is true. Except for the cat shaving. (cut to badly shaved cat) And maybe the shrimp. (cut to Gayle wearing shrimp dress) And the lipstick. (cut to Gayle chomping down on a lipstick)
Louise: Are you kidding me? My kid could paint that.
Tina: Wow. It costs $200.
Louise: Someone bought that mess?!
Edith: How rude! Harold. Harold!
Harold: What?
Edith: There are some poorly supervised children amongst the art. Get rid of them!
Harold: All right. Let's go. Keep moving.
Bob: Excuse me. Are you a...? Are you a bouncer? Are you gonna bounce my kids?
Harold: No, no. Just keep it moving, chubs.
Bob: Chubs?
Harold: You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
Bob: Hey, easy, pal, all right? Don't touch.
Louise: Come on, Dad. This guy's not worth it.
Harold: Ah, listen to your kids, fatsy.
Bob: Fatsy?
Louise: Come on. Come on, Dad.
Bob: Louise...
Louise: Dad, look me... Give me your eyes, Dad. Take a deep breath. You are lucky, pal. It's not worth it, Dad. If you hit him, your hand would smell like ointment and pee.
Harold: You smell like ointment and pee.
Louise: You smell like ointment and pee.
Harold: You smell like ointment and pee.
Louise: You smell like ointment and pee.
(Back at the restaurant...)
Bob: Well, that was awkward. What is that place?
Category:Transcripts