Avenue Q Presents Grouch Trailer

This is a trailer of Avenue Q Presents Grouch. Almost all the dialogue and scenes are the same as the ones from the SNL Grouch skit.
----[We see footage of New York City, then we see Osmar and another garbageman working on some trash.]
Garbageman: Damn, that smells straight like ass.
[Osmar opens a trash can]
Osmar: I don't know. (sniffs) I kind of like it.
Garbageman: Yeah? You like trash so much, why don’t you live in it?
Osmar: (angrily) Why don't you bite me?!
Garbageman: Damn, Osmar, why are you such a grouch, man?
[Cut to narrative video]
Announcer: From the studio that brought you "Joker" and the twisted minds at Sesame Workshop, comes the next gritty antihero origin story.
[We then see Osmar talking to a therapist.]
Therapist: Why do you think you're always in such a bad mood?
[Osmar is then seen walking through the streets of Avenue Q.]
Osmar: That ain't me. Things are getting worse out there.
[Cut to TV news]
Pal Friendlies: The once-friendly neighborhood of Avenue Q has now become a haven of crime and corruption. I'm Pal Friendlies, PTN News.
[Cut to Osmar walking on the street]
Osmar: Hookers and pimps on every corner.
[Cut to Snuffrod and Peggy Fawn]
Snuffrod: Now, look, Peggy dog, you're one of Snuffrod's ho's, okay? And Snuffrod's ho's earn.
Peggy: I'm sorry, daddy.
Snuffrod: Bitch, you better shut your damn mouffagus!
[Cut to Osmar watching]
Osmar: People getting killed over nothing.
[Cut to an alley where Verne and Scotty are getting robbed]
Robber: Give me the teddy bear.
Verne: Scotty! Give it to him!
Scotty: Hell no, bitch!
[The robber attacks Scotty upon hearing that.]
Scotty: (as he gets stabbed) NO!
[As Scotty collapses, the robber steals his teddy bear and runs away with it.]
Verne: (holding the fatally stabbed Scotty) AAH! SCOTTYYYYY!!!
[Cut to Therapist]
Therapist: How does that make you feel?
Osmar: Grouchy.
[Cut to video clips of Osmar acting like Joker]
When everyone calls you trash, and everyone treats you like trash, why don't you just become trash?
Announcer: Variety asks, "Did we need a dark take on 'Oscar the Grouch?'" "No," says the New York Times. "Avenue Q outdid themselves this time," says the Wall Street Journal. The beloved Broadway stars are performing on streets like you've never seen before.
[Now we see Kieran walking down the hall with a concerned Torrie, Almo, Ginger, Budfire, Stanley, Sunspot, and Fuzzle.]
Kieran: The police are powerless against these criminals. The government, the military - they can't do a damn thing! (holds up a clenched fist, in a determined tone) Somebody's gotta take matters into their own hands.
[The others look at him in shock upon hearing what he was saying.]
Torrie: You don't mean...
Kieran: I do.
[Cut to Toxie Jr. looking out at the crime-ridden city.]
Toxic Avenger: (voiceover) This is your chance to kick some ass.
[We then see Toxie Jr. viciously attacking the robber who stole Scotty's teddy bear.]
Toxic Avenger: (voiceover) Rip off someone's arm.
[Toxie Jr. rips off the robber's knife arm with his brute strength, causing the robber to scream in excruciating pain.]
Toxic Avenger: (voiceover) Just like your dad.
[We then cut to police taking the badly wounded robber as a news reporter speaks.]
News Reporter: I'm standing here at the site of what authorities believe is yet another vicious attack by the son of the Toxic Avenger. A state of emergency has been declared, and citizens are asked to remain in their homes.
[Cut to a female bird at a nightclub.]
Heidi Gardner: Do you want to see this big bird dance?
[Cut to Alcindor Von Count getting himself some pills.]
Alcindor Von Count: One, two, three! Three pills for me!
[Cut to a caged Grizzle Ingrid and a suspicious-looking peddler woman glancing at each other with interest.]
Female voice: (voiceover) I'd like to adopt this bird.
[Cut to the peddler woman speaking to a pet shop owner.]
Pet shop owner: You two are perfect for each other!
[Cut to the peddler woman leaving with Grizzle Ingrid.]
Evil-sounding female voice: (voiceover) You have no idea.
[Cut to Cookie Mongoloid, now a hobo on the streets, receiving a cookie before devouring it.]
[Cut to Phil Phillips speaking with Sherman the Frog, Bixby Bear, and Boppity.]
Phil Phillips: So you three are crack investigative reporters and a photographer for the New York Times. We could use guys like you to help us.
Sherman the Frog: You can count on us, Phil. We'll help put a stop to those crooks before you know it.
[Cut to Gaby running down an alley until she finds herself at a dead end.]
Valerie Vomit: (voiceover) The time for running away is over!
[Cut to a group of dwarf-sized shadowy figures menacingly approaching her.]
Greaser Greg: (voiceover) Time to paint the town red! And this time, as what we're originally supposed to be...
[Cut to the shadowy figures revealing themselves to be none other than the Garbage Pail Kids.]
Greaser Greg: (voiceover) Fucking horror monsters!
[Gaby lets out a blood-curdling scream as the Garbage Pail Kids loom closer.]
[Cut to Sparra Bird with two other female birds hiding in a secluded part of the city, Sparra holding onto her egg.]
Female Bird #1: (nervously) Listen! He's coming!
Female Bird #2: Hush!
Sparra Bird: (whispering) Be quiet.
Female Bird #1: (panicked) He's coming closer!
Female Bird #2: Stay calm, don't get excited.
Female Bird #1: We'd better fly!
Female Bird #2: No! No, don't fly! Whatever you do, don't fly!
Female Bird #1: (losing her composure) He's almost here! (as she starts flying rapidly) I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER!!!
[Sparra and the second female bird can only watch helplessly. Split Kit aims his gun toward the flying bird.]
Split Kit: (snickers evilly) Right on target.
[BANG! The gunshot echoes throughout the city, and the wounded bird falls to the ground. Ali Gator grabs it and devours it, getting blood and feathers everywhere.]
Ali Gator: (grins evilly) Mmmm! Tastes like chicken. (chuckles evilly)
Sparra Bird: (watching the gruesome scene, horrified) Oh, my God!!
[Cut to Phil, Connie Edwards, Sherman, Bixby, and Boppity meeting a familiar group as Phil smokes a cigarette.]
Bixby Bear: Who are you guys?
Mr. Burton: We're the ABC-Team, and we've heard a lot about you, Phil.
Connie Edwards: Hey, we've heard about you.
[Cut to scenes from the Survival Street comic being played.]
Connie Edwards: (voiceover) Puppet broadcasting shutdown, child labor, family separation, climate disasters, gun lobbies, for-profit prisons, privatized resources, forced birth, organ harvesting, shuttered schools, media propaganda, crumbling welfare, and a frowning town, all orchestrated by those damn corporations.
[Cut back to Phil, shaking his head in disgust.]
Phil Phillips: Fucking government bastards.
Sherman the Frog: What the hell has the government done?
[Cut to Constable Griswald arresting a Mexican girl puppet.]
Mexican girl: I'm innocent! I didn't sell any crack! You're arresting me because I'm Mexican and a puppet!
Griswald: (punches girl) Shut up, brownie! (shoves her in a police car) Get in there!
[Cut to Lt. Banning talking with Phil's group and the ABC-Team.]
Lt. Banning: ABC-Team, you have excellent potential. I have a proposition for you. If you agree to work with us, help put a stop to police corruption and all crime in Avenue Q, you will guarantee children and families their rights and freedom back. You will also become additional members of the Avenue Q cast to provide education again.
Birdie: Oh, yes, sir! We'll take the assignment!
Lt. Banning: Phil, Connie, and their investigative team are additional members of your team from now on. But be careful.
[Cut to the ABC-Team, Phil, Connie, Sherman, Bixby, and Boppity investigating a case as Lt. Banning continues via voiceover.]
Lt. Banning: With those Garbage Pail Kids and the Grouches running rampant, Avenue Q is a dangerous dump.
Osmar: (singing creepily) Sunny Day...
Announcer: From director Todd Phillips...
Osmar: (singing creepily) Sweeping the clouds away...
Announcer: ...and the writer of "P is for Potty."
Osmar: (singing creepily) On my way to where the air is sweet...
[Cut to an evil grinning Dead End Grouch outside the window of a passing taxicab, holding a trashcan lid with the word "GROUCH" on it.]
Can you tell me how to get...
[Cut to Osmar meeting the Garbage Pail Kids.]
Osmar: You are the ugliest, most disgusting bunch of kids I have ever seen. You're all beautiful!
Ali Gator: We're willing to do anything you want!
Osmar: I shall be the kingpin of the Garbage Pail Mafia, and you shall be my made grouches!
[The Garbage Pail Kids cheer at this.]
[Cut to Osmar speaking to a director as he is about to get onstage.]
Osmar: Would you do me one favor? Could you call me the Grouch?
Announcer: Brought to you by the letter R.
Osmar: Scram!
Category:Fanfiction
Category:Avenue Q
Category:Crossovers
Category:Musicals
Category:Toonwriter
Category:Adult shows
Category:Comedy-Drama
Category:Action/Adventure
Category:Live-Action
Category:Television shows featuring puppetry
Category:Puppets
Category:Satirical television programs
Category:Satires
Category:Trailer Transcripts