Lazy Saturdays

Lazy Saturdays are an event that happen 65% of the time on Saturday. They give the weakness, slowness, and blindness debuffs for the duration of the day. Lazy Saturdays are a much tamer brother of the Anxiety Sunday.
==Creation and History==
Lazy Saturdays were first invented in 1946 by the U.S. government to help veterans of World War 2 relax more often. These worked extremely well and soon many countries asked for them and were granted them. However, a country known as the Soviet Union stole the idea and made Lazy Wednesdays, thus breaking out the Cold War, which was a U.S. victory. The U.S. anexxed the Soviet Union and eradicated Lazy Wednesdays from the world. In 2005, Lazy Saturdays were deemed pretty dope by U.S. president George W. Bush and thus were given the modern 65% chance of happening on Saturdays.
Lazy Saturdays were part of President Obama's 2nd campaign, Obama himself delivering the now famous "Accept Saturdays" speech. It went as follows. "People of America! We have worked extremely hard to secure our rights, our freedom, and most of all: our Lazy Saturdays! Now Mitt Romney poses a threat to our delightful instituition that gives us what we need, rest! Elect me and we will keep Lazy Saturdays!"
However, President Donald Trump posed a major threat to Lazy Saturdays, and got Congress to discuss the impact it had on the American people. However, following Trump's assassination in 2018, Congress had more to worry about, and dropped the discussion. The people wanted laziness! They wanted Lazy Saturdays and soon they would get to prove that in combat once again.
The War on Working Saturdays was the second time revolution was started against the U.S. This war was the American People V.S. The American Thugs, and was fought in many places. It started in New York City when multiple bombs in Times Square went off. While the American government chose not to fight, the people did. So began 7 months of bloodshed and violence, fighting tooth and nail against the criminals of America. At first, the criminals had an advantage, sweeping states away all the way to Michigan, where the famous turning point of the war was fought, in Detroit. Detroit saw the heaviest fatalities of the war, as it was unstoppable force V.S. immovable object. The American People prevalled and slowly took back major states and cities until they were back in New York. The siege on New York took 2 long months, but finally a weakness in the American Thugs showed, and the American People pushed through, finally ending the war. The war lasted 7 brutal months, from April 2019 to November 2019. The people cut their teeth in the trenches of Detroit and Washington D.C. but it was all worth keeping Lazy Saturdays.
Finally, in 2020, part of Percy's 2nd campaign against Biden promised that the remaining thugs who fought in the war would be imprisoned for up to 20 years. Percy won 47 states as opposed to Biden's 3. Percy, however, was sadly assassinated on January 3rd, 2022. 
Today, Lazy Saturdays are a staple of American culture, with many people coming to America to experience true laziness. A fine law it is. 
Category:Time
Category:Events
Category:Americans