Mace Windu vs. Chewbacca vs. Frenzy vs. Crocodile Legend Beast

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It is a period of civil war. Rebel fighters, striking from a Maximum Security Sarcophagus, have won their first victory against the awesome Pharaoh Hotep. After the battle, it was decided that they would sort out the matter civilly. "Uh-oh..." said the audience...
Pharaoh Hotep: Well son, I sure hope you get your pyramid back.
Amset-Ra: Wait, really?
Pharaoh Hotep: Really! I would never say a thing like that just for the purpose of being on your good side in the case you DO get the pyramid back!
Amset-Ra: Why'd we have to call her then?
Pharaoh Hotep: Oh, you know, following due process and all. I just don't want to break the rules.
Amset-Ra: Weren't you breaking the rules when you threw me in the dungeon and took control of my pyramid?
Pharaoh Hotep: Well...
Amset-Ra: Oh well. Here's a compromise- I go back to owning the pyramid, but you get to stay in the Pharaoh's booth with me and Scarab, AND we can make the pyramid a Rubik's PYRAMID.
Pharaoh Hotep: Of Doom?
Amset-Ra: Sure, doom.
Creak...
Queen Hypogirtis: Okay, let's all sit down and sort this out. I've acquired a copy of the lease, a transcript of all battles so far this season, written witness statements from many of the fighters and staff of the pyramid, and a large box of snacks.
Amset-Ra: Actually, you'll be happy to hear that we've sorted out an agreement all by ourselves!
Queen Hypogirtis: Are you telling me that I came here for NOTHING?
Pharaoh Hotep: Um....
Amset-Ra: How about free tickets to the rest of the season's battles?
Queen Hypogirtis: I ALREADY HAVE FREE TICKETS, YOU FOOL.
Amset-Ra: You do?
Queen Hypogirtis: Why do you think I have an entire third of my army devoted to theft, and a division devoted to hacking?
Pharaoh Hotep: I always wondered about that...
Amset-Ra: You could be the predictor at the next match...
Pharaoh Hotep: An honoured guest!
Queen Hypogirtis: That seems acceptable.
Several minutes later, outside the pyramid...
Dr. Inferno: Alright, I think we're done. Pyramid shape- Check! Rubik's Cube colours- Check! Ogel, test if the Rubik's cube is functional!
CreakCreakCreakCreakCreak...
Ogel: Functionality- Check!
Terabyte walks over a sand dune and reaches the fighting pyramid at last.
Terabyte: ERROR. This defies the laws of physics. It is physically impossible. Please, destroy it before the universe erupts!
Dr. Inferno: Where's TeeVee?
Terabyte: He didn't make it. The sand rusted too many of his systems...
Audience: GASP!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Terabyte: ...So the Alpha Team came to pick him up.
Audience: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=== The Battle ===
Wyldstyle: Welcome back, my friends, my foes, my pharaohs, my Phobans, my fighters and my fellow staff, to Amset-Ra's Hotep-Funded Fighting Rubik's Pyramid of Doom!!!!! I am Wyldstyle, your primary announcer for today. Before we introduce the fearsome four fighters, allow me to introduce you to the rest of our staff, and our very special guest!
Audience: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wyldstyle: As my backup announcer, it's the Tech-Savvy TERABYTE!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Terabyte: Thank you, thank you! I will be in charge of making all the bad puns, as well as bringing up any important stats. Also, I need to thank Dr. Inferno for agreeing to disable his name-scrambler, allowing me to keep this name! I guess you could say that's just In-fine-o and dandy!
Amset-Ra: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Queen Hypogirtis: This had better be the worst it can get...
Wyldstyle: As your primary referee, this man practices to be the incredible Invizable!!!!
Audience: We know you're there, Invizable.
Invizable: Hmm, that trick doesn't work anymore.
Wyldstyle: As the backup ref, we have the much beloved Dr. Inferno!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: YAY!!!!!
Agent Chase: You're coming with us, Doc.
Sam Sinister: I'm afraid that's simply not possible, Agent Chase. You see, I have recently hired the King of the Sulfurix to work here with me, and if you so much as take one more breath, then he will have no choice but to drop both Agent Trace and Agent Charge into the mouth of the T-Rex.
T-Rex: ROOOAAAAARRR!!!!
Agent Chase: Gasp! How could this happen!
Sam Sinister: Weren't you listening? I said not a single breath.
Wyldstyle: Well, this seems like a good time to introduce our new Chief of Security! Baron Von Barron, or Sam Sinister, depending on which way you look at him.
Audience: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wyldstyle: And now, our Award Presenter, the Glorious Sir Fangar!
Sir Fangar: Welcome! Isn't it just a GLOOOORIOUS day?
Wyldstyle: Now, please allow me to present our special honoured guest, Queen Hypogirtis of the Mars Mission Aliens!
Queen Hypogirtis: THANK YOU for not misnaming me. It is quite a refreshing occurrence.
Wyldstyle: No problem, Queen! Next up, these two are the most awesome Pharaoh's to have ever been manufactured, give it up for Amset-Ra and his father Pharaoh Hotep!
Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amset-Ra: Thank you, thank you! I hate to interrupt, but we should probably get on with introducing the fighters...
Wyldstyle: Well, before we get to that, we need to have those awards. Sir Fangar?
Sir Fangar: Of course! Our gloooooorious User of the Week is ArcticSeahorse, the newest member of the wikia!
ArcticSeahorse: Thank you! Go Crocodile Legend Beast!
Sir Fangar: And now, our gloooooorious Minifigure of the Week is ME!!!!! No? Okay, fine. It's Queen Hypogirtis!!!!!!
Audience: YAY!!!!!!
Amset-Ra: Cheer louder!
Audience: YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Amset-Ra: Much better.
Wyldstyle: Now, we're at the moment you've all been waiting for... In the Red Corner, we have Mace Windu, the mighty Jedi Master!
Mace Windu: Greetings, young ones.
Wyldstyle: Greetings! And now, in the Blue Corner is one of the most famous fur balls of all time, Chewbacca!
Chewbacca: Uuuuur aaargh.
Wyldstyle: Aaargh!
Chewbacca: Oh-oh aaargh?
Wyldstyle: Urughar! In the Yellow Corner is the frantic fanatic, Frenzy!
Frenzy: Ooh! Nice hair! HAIR!!!!
Wyldstyle: Hey, get away, that's my hair!
Terabyte: This is quite a hair-raising situation.
Amset-Ra: HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAAAHAAAA!!!!
Wyldstyle: This isn't funny! Give me back my hair!
Invizable: Actually, it is pretty funny.
Frenzy: MY HAIR!!!!!!! NOT YOUR HAIR!!!!!!!!
Wyldstyle: I PAINTED THIS HAIR MYSELF.
Frenzy: BUT I STOLE IT MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!
Terabyte: Perhaps it would be best if we stopped frenzying and going wild over some hair.
Amset-Ra: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Pharaoh Hotep pulls out some tape and tapes it over Amset-Ra's mouth.
Audience: Finally!
Pharaoh Hotep: I had a feeling I might be needing that.
Wyldstyle: Fine. The last fighter is the Crocodile Legend Beast, in the Green Corner!
Crocodile Legend Beast: Marangue Marangue!
...
Wyldstyle: Um...
Dr. Inferno: This is odd...
Terabyte: I have no data that supports any creature uttering the sound we have just heard...
Wyldstyle: ANYWAYS, it's now time to go to our honoured guest for a prediction!
Queen Hypogirtis: Well, while the Crocodile Legend Beast is a powerful foe, I believe that it is equal to Chewbacca. However, Mace Windu appears to be much more powerful than any of his adversaries, so I predict Mace Windu to be the imminent victor.
Wyldstyle: Vizzie?
Invizable: Fight!
Chewbacca: MWAAARGH!!!!!
Mace Windu: Thou shalt not passeth!
Gandalf: You shall not steal my quotes!
Shakespeare: And my century's style, bro!
Sir Fangar: These battles are glooooooriously weird.
Chewbacca: Oooaaarm!!!
Crocodile Legend Beast: Marangue Marangue.
Frenzy: Ooh, Lemon Meringue Pie! GIVE ME SOME!!!!!!
Crocodile Legend Beast: Marangue?
Swat!
Chewbacca: Oaarrgh!!!!!
Wyldstyle: Quite interesting! Frenzy dashed towards the Crocodile Legend Beast, who swatted him away with his tail. He went flying into Chewbacca, knocking him out of the arena!
Invizable: The Wookie is out of the battle.
C-3P0: What happened to "Let the Wookie win" ?!?!?!?
Squidman: Great move, Frenzy! If you keep this up, there's no way you won't win!
Pharaoh Hotep: Somebody stop him before we have another embarrassment of a winner!
Mace Windu: This ends now, Frenzy! In the name of the law, I'm placing you under arrest!
Frenzy: Arrest?!?!? Are the Space Police here?!?!?!?!? I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL!!!!! There isn't any fun in jail!
Frenzy begins to sprint away from the fighting pyramid.
Wyldstyle: Well, Frenzy got out of here pretty quickly.
Terabyte: You could say he was frantic for a golden getaway.
Invizable: Never the less, he's out.
Dr. Inferno: In more ways than one.
Mace Windu: When will I receive my reward?
Crocodile Legend Beast: Marangue Marangue.
Cragger: Not until you defeat the powerful Crocodile Legend Beast!
VwoooshhhHHH!!! CRASH!!!!!
Dr. Inferno: That ended quickly...
Wyldstyle: Mace Windu used the Force to throw the Crocodile Legend Beast across the pyramid, where it slammed into the wall!
Invizable: The Crocodile Legend Beast is out! Mace Windu has become our second two-battle winner of the second half- And the final winner of the second half!
Terabyte: For more information on Round 2 matches, rush over to the Voting page!
Sam Sinister: I have already warned you, Frenzy. If you do not return that hair immediately, you will be ejected from the pyramid for life.
Frenzy: No! I can't give it back! It's magical!
End Transmission
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Category:Season 1
Category:Round 1 Battles