Crazysponge lives

crazysponge lives is the eighth episode of Season Four of CrazySponge Died: The Series.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with CrazySponge eating Frozen 2 mac and cheese)
CrazySponge: Wowee, this pasta sure is divine. Not that I don’t eat it every other day.
CrazySponge mom: Aidan, you’re gonna turn into mac and cheese one of these days.
CrazySponge: Yeah yeah I know, now let me eat in peace.
CrazySponge mom: Fine, I’ll do woman stuff then. The bathroom is filthy!
(CrazySponge mom leaves the room to do woman things)
CrazySponge: (still eating) nom nom nom nom nom nom nom I could do this all day
Stomach demon: Are you sure about that?
CrazySponge: AHH! Who the fuck said that?
Stomach demon: I’m the demon inside of your stomach. I’m afraid you have gotten… stomach autism.
CrazySponge: NOOOOOO! Wait, what’s stomach autism?
Stomach demon: It’s when you eat too much Frozen 2 pasta that I form in your stomach. Many bad things will come, I will guarantee you that.
CrazySponge: And what are these bad things?
(silence)
CrazySponge: Fine, keep your secrets. I’ll just go along with my day.
(CrazySponge gets up from his chair and heads into his bedroom to play some Fortnite)
CrazySponge: Nothing a little Fortnite game can’t fix.
(He immediately dies in Fortnite)
CrazySponge: NOOOOO! WHO KILLED ME?
Stomach demon: I did.
CrazySponge: YOU! WHY!
Stomach demon: What did I say? Bad things will come to you.
CrazySponge: Okay, Fortnite is apparently a no-go.
(He decides to go on Twitter dot com instead)
CrazySponge: Let’s see here… the queen died, boring. Trump picks his nose? Boring, I do that every day. CRAZYSPONGEISOVERPARTY? I didn’t even know I was famous!
(More scrolling)
CrazySponge: “CrazySponge is a stupid gay sponge”. I AM NOT GAY! “Mf goes to drama club that must mean he’s gay”. Once again, I AM NOT GAY! DRAMA CLUB DOES NOT MEAN I AM GAY! “He said the n word once in discord that’s actually racist”. Okay well I can’t deny that one.
Stomach demon: Had enough yet?
CrazySponge: Nope.
Stomach demon: Damn. Well I have one last trick up my sleeve that should do the trick.
(Jamie comes into Crazy’s room)
CrazySponge: Aw, hi Jamie.
Jamie: (hisses)
CrazySponge: What? You’ve never hissed at me before.
Jamie: (hisses again)
CrazySponge: Are you trying to say something, Jamie?
(Jamie attacks Crazy’s face, leaving bloody scratch marks all over his face)
CrazySponge: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD ENOUGH!
(CrazySponge hisses back and Jamie runs out of the room)
CrazySponge: I think I need to calm down a bit. Well then… (unzipping is heard)
Stomach demon: Wait… what are you doing?
CrazySponge: Something I should’ve done a long time ago.
Stomach demon: Don’t tell me you’re going to-
CrazySponge: Look at Fortnite porn? Oh yes I am!
(CrazySponge boots up Discord and searches for r34 of Fortnite again. The screen turns to black as he does… something)
Stomach demon: AAAAAAA! TOO UNHOLY FOR EVEN A DEMON TO SEE!
CrazySponge: Much better. I feel a lot calmer now. They should call me CalmStar.
Stomach demon: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE!
CrazySponge: My daily routine.
Stomach demon: Alright, that’s it! I’m outta here!
(The stomach demon pops out from Crazy’s stomach and flies off the screen)
CrazySponge: Well then. I’m surprised I haven’t died yet. (covers his mouth)
(silence)
CrazySponge: Any second now…
(silence)
CrazySponge: Okay this is taking too long.
(silence. Crazy looks around)
CrazySponge: Did… did I really not die this time? HOORAY! PARTY IN THE USA! TRUMP IS OUR ONLY TRUE PRESIDENT! STOP THE STEAL! (a MAGA hat appears on his head) OH YEAH BABY!
(CrazySponge starts flossing as the episode ends with him living for once)
Category:2022
Category:CrazySponge Died: The Series
Category:FireMatch
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:2020s