Radios

== Description ==
Radios are sent to each Kakos Industries shareholder prior to each broadcast. The radios vary in type and volatility from show to show, and the shareholder is almost always required to destroy it after the broadcast ends.
== Notice ==
The title of each radio leads to the episode wiki page it is first mentioned in.
Each radio that is mentioned in each episode page will direct to this list.
Radios with a ** are episodes with Corin Deeth I as the broadcaster
== The List of Radios ==
# Odd Little Radio: A client of Kakos Industries, the Odd Little Radio company provided radios which were delivered via a purple paper bag thrown through shareholders' incoming projectiles windows.
# Audiophile++ Mahogany Tube Radio: It provided the shareholder with the subtle warmth of tube amplification, using only the finest and rarest new-old stock vacuum tubes. It had eight low-density cone stereo speakers, and two streams of plasma the sound must travel through to make it beautiful, resonating, and the most accurate reproduction of sound experienceable. To purchase one, one must be called via mysterious landline at night, and provided with a price and a location, which one will go to and pay. It is only for the highest rank of sound-snobs and may cause arousal.
# Synthesizer Sequencer by Synthesthesia: Preprogrammed by Synthesthesia, it allowed shareholders to not only hear the broadcast, but experience it with other senses, such as sight and taste. Pressing the play button multiple times resulted in sick beats; the sickness being Polio. At least one intern was lost in the programming process. Any sampling or biting of what was heard on the synthesizer resulted in bitewolf attack. When dismantled, the process of which involved risk of grenade explosion, a five dollar bill could be found inside. Rest was advised if no bill was found.
# Antique Radio: This radio was bought at a thrift store. It was of dubious quality, and there may or may not have been enough exact copies in one thrift store for every shareholder. Instead of destroying this radio at the end of the broadcast like normal, shareholders were given the option of keeping it so it may take up space, but only if they already owned another radio.
# Spy Radio: Located within the Kak-O's cereal box all shareholders received was a spy watch radio. Batteries were included, but also warned to be leaky, rendering the cereal inedible. It was recommended it remain on the "awesome" frequency, as the "danger" one only summons danger (in the form of homing missiles). The spy watch radio is very fragile, so shaking it was sufficient to destroy it, or using a hammer, if shareholders were feeling a bit overkill.
# Echo Box: Built from Kakos Industries' GMO Echo Trees, which contain echoes indefinitely, the box sent to each shareholder contains an echo of the broadcast.  No instructions were left for its destruction.
# Cute Animal: The radio is attached to the collar of a GMO creature that Kakos designed specifically for cuteness. Size and shape of this animal depends on feeding, and it lowers relative productivity to zero by its mere presence. Upon the broadcast's completion, the collar had to be removed and destroyed, and the animal, driven off.
# ???: Though most shareholders received this broadcast via an unknowable, mysterious being that would be devastatingly life-changing should one look at it, one shareholder had Corin Deeth III himself, sitting behind them with a gun poised to fire should they look. The mysterious being had to be driven off by being shouted at. Corin simply leaves after the announcements are over, taking some more delicious cookies from the lucky shareholder's kitchen.
# Tooth Filling: The radio for this broadcast was found within the tooth fillings a shareholder may or may not have been aware of possessing. Upon the broadcasts completion, shareholders were given five minutes after the number-reading was completed to decide whether or not to remove the radio before it detonated. Either way, shareholders woke up the next day with a new tooth.
# Woman: The "radio" for this broadcast was a beautiful, implied to be scantily-clad woman who was genetically modified to be extremely attractive to all shareholders, regardless of sexual orientation. Her presence often invoked impulsive, anxious, rapid-fire thoughts revolving around the woman and the shareholder's own inherent horribleness. She left through the front door while the shareholder was distracted by these thoughts.
# Kakophany Audio Wireless Tube Speaker Set: The radio for this broadcast was a Kakophany construction, containing the warmth of the tube amplification of the Audiophile ++ unit, but combining it with with an extremely low quality and lossy sound file being transmitted from nearby. May or may not be radioactive, and if radiation is an issue for the Shareholers then that issue would be resolved. At the end of the broadcast, Shareholders were instructed to destroy their Kakophany set. If not destroyed, then it would play heavily distorted Bro Step music, even long after people have forgotten what Bro Step was.
# Project Tesla's Love Doves: The listener may hear it as lonely birdsong on the wind or a Kakos experiment with electronic birds, but both of those theories are mostly incorrect. Designed by the Division or Pigeon Religion. No directions given for the destruction of the radio, as Peter Wood ejaculated all over the studio.
# Greeting Card: This radio is a Kakos Industries Greeting Card with a prerecorded message inside playing the broadcast. If closed, the recording will be deleted and the listener will fall hopelessly behind. On the front of the card reads "Heard Your Shit's All Fucked", with the inside reading "#Sorry". If not a shareholder, listeners will receive a paper cut from the card, resulting in being infected with a pathogen that turns them slowly to ethanol. No disposal method for the radio announced.
# Assorted Media: This broadcast came from whatever media the listener may have been enjoying at that time. Some examples were television, radio, some lesser streaming service, one of the printed and bound volumes called books, or an orgasm. The scientists in the Division of Subliminal Massage finally perfected their method of preparing minds to accept messages of a secretive nature. Each listener was unknowingly prepared for just this message through the last several installments of these announcements. New shareholders were treated with the necessary blips, bloops, and bleeps through other means. The radio signals being sent from the main tower and hundreds of booster stations are running into antennae made inside of listener's heads by the thoughts that they were having. Neural pathways have been formed inside their head that have been molded over time into the shape of small receivers perfectly tuned to Kakos broadcasting frequencies. The broadcast ended shortly after the end of the Numbers section, the radio was not destroyed.
# Kaboom Tube portable speaker: This radio was delivered through Shareholders' incoming projectiles window earlier that day. The Kaboom Tube is a small device that represents the worst in manufacturing cruelty, and supplying Shareholders with a device set Kakos Industries back a total of around a hundred and fifty dollars. Contrary to the commercials seen for these devices, the sound quality and volume will not make you say “Wow!” or “That’s amazing!” It is a small and cheap device, and it is capable of projecting mediocre sound at an average volume. Shareholders were given the ability to destroy their speaker whenever they liked, Corin stated that he "honestly cannot care".
# Dusty Antique Radio: This broadcast came from an antique radio that the listener assumed came from their great aunt, but really came from Great Auntie Kakos Industries. The radio may have originally had great value and may have retained it had the listener taken better care of it, and they were encouraged to find a damp rag and wipe it off. Shareholders were not told how to destroy their radio.
# Memory: Broadcast came from what felt to be a really old memory that suddenly made sense. Kakos Industries, in the Division of Memory Manipulation, Mind Wiping, and Beat Repeating worked on planting thoughts and media files into the human memory. Technically, the memory is neither old nor live. It was placed deep where it wouldn’t be forgotten so easily, and where remembering it would trigger the fondest nostalgia. At the end of the broadcast, Shareholders were told that the memory would fade naturally with time. This fading would result in new memories being made up to take its place, but the content of the memory would be subject to the brain.
# Unknown: The broadcast may have been coming from the tide of undead outside of wherever the Shareholders were hiding, but Corin was unsure. A different radio had been planned, but it was not available and the Guild of Transmission may have had to improvise. No instruction for the destruction of the radio at the conclusion of the broadcast.
# Division of Relaxation and Never Ending Fear’s Loving Kindness Meditation Video: Came in a link vie email entitled "The 10 Sexiest Babies You Will Ever Want To Eat". Link is unlikely to be calming and meditative, but is certainly informative. Shareholders were invited to thing of loved ones or those with whom relationships were more complicated, but would find that feelings had either not changed or gotten slightly more complicated. Destruction of radio not mentioned as Corrin and Hailey engaged in sexual relations before the numbers began.
# A Rattle in The Wall: Unknown rattling in the wall nearby, caused by something equally unknown. Shareholders don't know if the rattling is coming from inside the wall or on the other side, but are strongly encouraged to remain in place and not investigate the rattling. Shareholders may pound the wall once to change the tone of Corin's voice, but if they are still displeased, they just need to deal with it. If pounding comes from the wall, shareholders need to respond in Kakos Morose Code or it will be pounded into their skull. Shareholders may also find some of their underwear missing after the broadcast. Shareholders are unable to destroy what is causing the announcements and are encouraged to try if their masculinity is offended. They are recommended to sit quiet for the next several hours and stay away from their underwear drawers.
# Chemtrails: Corrin is disbelieving at first, but the technicians are insistent that the broadcast is coming from a chemical added to normal jet fuel somehow transmitting the broadcast. Corin stated that shareholders were being lied to, but strongly encouraged them to not look for a speaker of any type as he made a bet with upper management and the bet was part of a death pool. Shareholders were told to try and destroy the chemtrails as Corin watched them flail about like morons. 
# Emergency Radio: Announcements are coming in through a hand-cranked emergency radio in a purple paper bag thrown through Shareholders' Incoming Projectiles Windows. Some shareholders may be frightened by the Emergency written on the radio, but no emergency was forthcoming. Shareholders were not told how to destroy their radio, Corin had to leave via a window to avoid Grace Rule carving a mark of failure into his forehead as a result of lack or holiday progress.
# Wind Up Duckling: The speaker is inside the duckling, which shareholders found outside their front doors. The duckling would follow them, but may be too tired to go very much further as they may have travelled hundreds of miles in order to reach the shareholders in the first place. Radio was instructed to be destroyed by being crushed by a sturdy shoe. If in one of THOSE houses, shareholders would need to go to their front door and get a shoe, step on the duckling, and then remove their shoe as to not dirty their carpets or whatever. 
# Piggy Bank Clock Radio:  A combination of porcelain and porcine technology, which can accept shareholder pledges directly into the slot on its back. Its eyes may begin to droop with sadness during the broadcast, shareholders were encouraged to drop a few bucks into it in order to perk the radio up. Shareholders were told to leave it outside their doors at the end of the broadcast and it would be retrieved by the Guild of Transmission. 
# Giant Ass Speaker and Antenna: Created by Giant Ass Radios, a division of Giant Ass Things in General. Some shareholders had them tossed through their Incoming Projectiles Window, but most would not fit and were left outside. The radio is as described, a speaker and an antenna that may or may not have something in between. The antenna may shock the shareholders or cause the air around it to get warmer than before. If this happens, shareholders are encouraged to move away to avoid further damage. Shareholders were told that they must destroy the antenna and speaker, by any means necessary and as quickly as possible. 
# DIY Radio: Shareholders were given a small DIY radio kit and told to assemble it in time for the broadcast. The tools to construct it were ill-fitting plastic, it was extremely difficult to tune properly, and all of the directions were in Japanese. Shareholders were simply told to destroy their radios.
# Radio: Shareholders were given a small, portable, battery-powered radio created by Conevilience Radio. Shareholders were told to destroy their radios at the end, Corin speculated that a big fucking rock may be the optimal method, but encouraged shareholders to experiment with it. 
# Cup on a String: A plastic cup on a string, the string is a superconducting wire and the cup is spill proof. It is also the most reliable way to contact Belladonnica Shareholders were told to destroy the cup by stepping on it or melting the cup, depending on how the shareholders feel about it. 
# Vibrations of House: Something is shaking the structure in which the shareholders are currently residing, created by the Division of Improbable Earthquakes, but the exact process was not something that the shareholders were allowed to know. Shareholders were promised a surprise at the end of the broadcast. The quaking in the walls ended soon after the broadcast, and the surprise was revealed to be a distraction from the earthquakes.
# Boom Box Drone: Created by Ariel's Aerials, the drone is a quadrocopter which plays music as it flies behind the owner. This radio is the last prototype before the design was optimized to fly quietly enough for the music to be heard over the noise of the drone. Shareholders were unable to get away from the broadcast as the drone would follow them wherever they went. The drone is also equipped with a gun and is an okay shot. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to destroy the radio as they saw fit, but were advised to know that it would fight back and may teach the shareholders of the threat and terror of drone strikes.                                             ​​​30B. Radio: Broadcast was coming over a normal radio, with no special properties at all as opposed to showing off and creating something unnecessarily complicated and large. No instruction was given to destroy the radio at the conclusion of the broadcast.
#GMO Bees Against Everyone: Created by the Division of Buzz, the Bumble BAEs for short are scientifically enhanced insects that are perfected to receive radio signals and adjust their buzzing accordingly to reproduce the sound accurately and clearly. These insects are the result of testing on conspiracy theorists in order to perfect the system and drive them to distraction. They cause an allergic reaction to people who are not usually allergic to bee stings and would immediately kill the person stung. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are encouraged not to attack the swarm; it would leave on its own after potentially consuming all of the sweet things in the shareholder's home. 
#A Harsh Cough: The Divison of Viral Media infected shareholders or someone nearby with a virus. The virus may or may not have small antennae that reproduce the sound when expelled from the body in a cough, but Corrin is unsure about the validity of that statement. The virus is transmissible, and can be fatal. There was no destruction indicated at the end of the broadcast as Belladonnica had run from the studio. 
#Crystals: The crystals in your pineal gland that were slightly changed, allowing with the communication between the shareholders and Kakos. Kakos left their portion of the receiver off the hook and so shareholders cannot respond to them, only listen. Side effects may be hallucinations, urban sprawl (sprawling out on a city street and being unable to rise), and the feeling of being more alone than ever. The crystals were set to return to normal in a few days, with the potential of having some sound effects (some heavy breathing, boards creaking, doors opening and closing) over the course of the changes. The crystals could also be removed and destroyed, but it would result in the death of the shareholders. 
#Sex Toy: Created by Sex Toys and Sex Toys, this toy has vibrations tuned in such a way as to reproduce the sound of Corrin's voice through harmonics. The effect is lessened slightly if the toy was being used inside the body at the time of broadcast, though the broadcast could be felt on a deeper and more meaningful level. The device has a wide range of vibration settings- from "ooh" to "I think I'm going to die". Shareholders were advised to choose their settings wisely. At the end of the broadcast, the toy was to be destroyed through use. 
#Stomach Rumblings: Stomach rumblings after consuming a savory burrito, customised to the shareholders' specific dietary needs, restrictions, and choices. Developed between the Culinary Division and Giant Ass Burrito, a subsidiary of Giant Ass Things in General. Shareholders did not need to finish the burrito, and it may actually be dangerous to do so due to the size of the burrito. There is a specific chemical in the food that, as it is broken down into a gas, turns the rest of shareholders' bodies into an amplifier of sorts that allows the broadcast to be heard. As the radio is a gaseous buildup, the ability to communicate will dissipate not long after the broadcast is over, at least until the shareholders warm up the remainder of the burrito at a later time. 
#Home Appliances: Various appliances in shareholders' homes vibrating and carrying the sound to the shareholders. There is a small token in each appliance which says "Voodoo Appliance". The potential of Voodoo is unlikely to Corrin, who believes that it is a part of the branding for the system. Radios did not need to be destroyed at the end of the broadcast, but the stress of the vibrations probably destroyed one or more appliances. 
#Potted Plant: The announcements came from a potted plant that is tuned to transmitting frequencies and then transmits sound. This is an innovation by the Division of Audible Nature which has tuned the plant's ability to feel pain and transmit sounds into the actual sounds of the broadcast. The transmitting plant is in Soundman Steven's studio, and grows increasingly menacing throughout the broadcast. At the end of the episode, the mother plant attacks Soundman Steven and Corin needs to destroy it in order to end the broadcast, he tells the shareholders nothing about destroying the plant, but expresses his hope that they are fine.​​
#Silos: The Division of Sadistic Ballistic Mystics has developed a way to fire the sounds, they have some really large speakers that compress air, and then allow it to expand when it reaches its target in the form of the broadcast. From the spec sheet nothing solid is actually fired at your homes, but they placed an asterisk at the end of that statement, and at the bottom of the spec sheet, it says "everybody makes mistakes". Corin has shareholders karate chop the air at the end of the broadcast and then laughs at them for making fools of themselves for nothing.
#Screaming Toad: A Bomba Speaker by Bomba Audio in the shape of a screaming toad. It was said that those who were not shareholders were killed by a poison it secreted. Shareholders were immune to this poison but we're not sure how,
#Cuckoo Clock: A Cuckoo Clock made by Cuckoo Clockwork Automata that was sent days prior. Shareholders had to build the clock and then hang it up somewhere prior to the broadcast. Every hour on the hour, the cuckoo clock would have a small bird come out and sing/chirp. However, when the broadcast began, instead of the small bird coming out, there was a small Corin Deeth III bringing you the announcements.                                                                                                                                                                                     Magical Elegant Nubile Sparkle Schoolgirl SuperSoldier Glamour Communicator Wrist Watch 2.0: Made in Japan. Seven different kinds. Each watch represents a different Schoolgirl SuperSoldier that is depicted doing something Evil.
#Car Stereo: The radio is a car stereo made by Nuclear Car Sounds. Although some shareholders were conveniently inside of cars for this broadcast, it would be found that the car stereo was actually not the shareholders car radio. Instead, it was a completely different car stereo attached to nothing in the car itself. For shareholders that were not in cars, say outside or in buildings, there was a car stereo somewhere in those locations.
#Jack-'O-Lantern- Radio is a poorly carved jack-'o-lantern with some sort of speaker device inside, it was delivered by the Guild of Transmission after the Division of Radio Transmission was too busy freaking out in the basement ballroom during the Halloween festivities. Corin was not provided with a prototype and the spec sheet merely says "We're terribly sorry". The destruction of this radio was delegated to the listener, as it was going to go bad a few days after the broadcast anyway.
#Toaster- Corin's restraint keeps him from knowing exactly what the radio is for this broadcast- a spec sheet given to him by his captors is simply a drawing of a toaster. He is unsure if the toaster will pop at the end of the broadcast and offer a heated foodstuff or not. There were no instructions for potential destruction of the radio.
#Coffin- Produced by Coffin Acoustics, the Resonant Coffin was originally designed to keep the dead from screaming themselves back to life and/or save anyone who had been buried alive. The wood has a particular resonance that allows noises made inside to resonate in such a way that they can be heard through six feet of dirt. The company had a surplus as no dead had screamed themselves back to life and only one person had been saved from suffocation and so allowed Kakos Industries to distribute them as radios. A small transmitter and speaker is inside, with a resonant frequency than humans can hear, which allows people to feel the announcements as well as hear them. Listeners are instructed to keep the coffin around, waiting until it can be used.
#Cheap Radio- Sent as the first gift in the nine days of Anti-Celebration. It is an exceptionally shitty and short-lived radio that will not live past the day or, potentially, until the end of the broadcast. It lacks a volume or tuner knob and so if the listeners would like to crank it, they need to move it closer to their ears. No instructions are given for destruction at the end of the broadcast.
#**Transient Resistance Transistor Radio- Top of the line, solid state radio technology. The device is clean and stable and will, in all likelihood, bring about the strongest reproduction of the broadcast possible. At the end of the broadcast, listeners are instructed to take the radio and crush it firmly underfoot, crush the speaker, destroy the electronics, and bend the antenna into a funny shape.
#Industrial Strength Radio- Part of the Shareholder's Emergency Radio Receiver System. It is number 27 of an unknown number. It was already hidden in the homes of the shareholders. It would probably survive any number of potential apocalypses that shareholders would likely not. The speaker is mono and kevlar, and the electronics are borderline indestructible. Corin backs up those statements with the assertion that he personally fired several weapons at a test model and it survived in almost all cases. There are no instructions for destroying the radio at the end of the broadcast.
#Industrial Strength Radio- Exactly the same as the previous broadcast, except with a watermelon color scheme and the radio is number 13 instead of number 27. Again, no instructions for destruction at the conclusion of the broadcast.
#A Foot Massage- A device in the feet of the shareholders that is giving them an aggressive foot massage. It is the Shareholder's Emergency Radio number 928. From the spec sheet, it says that the driver “gets you a-wigglin’, the wigglin’ gets you a-groovin’, the groovin’ warms your belly, and your belly amplifies these sounds that you’re hearing.” No notes for the destruction of the radio at the conclusion of the broadcast.
#Mason Jar- This radio is a mason jar with a speaker built into the lid, it is Shareholder's Emergency Radio number 3 1/2. The sounds may be glassy, but are of the highest quality possible. Shareholders are encouraged to catch fireflies, put LEDs into the jar, or throw the jar really hard at a wall and shatter it.
#Canned Laughs- Created by Laugh Manufacturers and the Division of Chucklery, this can was opened and Corin's voice came out. The can appears empty, but contains all of the necessary components for the broadcast or the various laugh types available from the manufacturer. Shareholders were told to recycle their radio responsibly or crush it against their head if they were feeling manly.
#Plantain Phone- Created by Tropical Telephonics, it's a plantain phone. Shareholders picked up the phone and the broadcast was the call coming in on the other end of the line. The sound was better than the average phone call and had the potential to tip the listener toward insanity. No instructions for destruction at the end of the broadcast.
#Suspicious Seashell- The broadcast came from a seashell that was designed by Ocean Acoustics. It has a small metal claw that clamped onto the ear of the listener and a small metal arm that wrapped around the head in order to give the listener a head hug. This rendered listeners unable to remove the shell from their heads no matter how hard they tried. The device helps people to relax and forget about the things happening around them, be they important or not. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were allowed to take the seashell off of their faces. It potentially left a face tattoo of the Kakos Industries logo, but only Corin knew for sure.
#My First Sampler- Created by Death Knell Rythmonics for their Sudden Infants Sick Beats Syndrome line. It allows children to sample and play back toys and their own voices. The devices have been modified with a radio sampler, allowing shareholders to hear the broadcast live. Pausing the broadcast would result in missing important notices. Recording the broadcast would result in something distorted and horrifying. Shareholders were instructed to take the sampler apart using the instructions in what may or may not be a rare character set of Chinese. There may or may not have been a prize inside for the shareholders.
#Talking Bernice Doll- Doll created by Crypto-Creepies brand and the Division of Creepy-Ass Children's Toys, it has glass eyes fixed in an expression of subtle horror, delicately painted features, and hand-sewn clothes in styles of the distant past. It also has a pull string in the back which had an antenna hidden in it that extended when pulled and allowed shareholders to hear the broadcast. The doll is described as being really scary, with no mention of sound quality. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to put the dolls outside and wait for them to be picked up or walk away on their own. Shareholders were instructed to lock their doors and windows "until she loses interest". Some shareholders may have gotten a Talking Margot Doll instead, which has a high potential for murder, as do all Margots.
#Monitoring Device- A device that may or may not be implanted in the bodies of shareholders and operates based on suspicion. The spec sheet says that the audio quality of the broadcast is surprisingly good. There was no instruction on destroying the radio as Kakos was going to continue testing it after the broadcast.
#Monitoring Device- Same device that the broadcast was shared on the previous time.
#A Long Arm- A speaker embedded in the palm of an exceptionally long arm and large hand coming into whatever space shareholders occupied at the time of the broadcast. Shareholders are told to refrain from touching the hands in any fashion as it may remove itself from wherever they are or close up. The Freaky Arm was created in combination with Dick's Prosthetics and the Division of Making Things Scary. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were told to give the hand their best dap, their best handshake, a solid fist bump, and to just generally let the arm know they they know where it's coming from.
#Whirly- This radio is a combination between a plastic tube that shareholders wave above their heads that makes a noise and the air around them. The atmosphere is being manipulated as the whirly is twirled in order to allow for the broadcast to be heard. The tube must be spun throughout the entire broadcast in order for shareholders to hear it. Shareholders are told to recycle their tube responsibly.
#Media Console- A console delivered gently through shareholder's Incoming Projectiles windows and set up as directed. This console began playing media for shareholders immediately after being set up and kept them watching until the time of the broadcast. Instead of Corin's face playing during the broadcast, some semi-hypnotic visuals are played on the console instead. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to turn off their consoles and crush them underfoot.
#Noisy Moss- Created by the Division of Nature Sounds, it is a genetically modified moss that makes noise. A small radio transmitter picked up the sounds of the broadcast and fed them directly into the moss. If the sounds were brittle, shareholders could sprinkle a little water on it to brighten it up. Shareholders were urged to not let it get out and cross-breed with regular moss as nature would become too noisy. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to incinerate the moss.
#Glass Sound Cannon- A piece of long-stemmed glassware ideal for creating a Devil's Soulgasm, a rare and intricate cocktail. This radio was created in combination with the Division of Broken Glass Everywhere, Dammit and the Division of Radio Transmission along with Glass Half Empty Acoustics. The chemical structure of the glass was modified to turn signals into sound and the broadcast came from light hitting the glass and resonating it in such a way as to reproduce the broadcast. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to either break the glass or make a Devil's Soulgasm on the hour, every hour for the rest of their lives.
#Audiophile ++ Headphone Amplifier and Radio Tuner- This tuner was plugged into Audiophile++ Dark Mahogany Headphones. The amplifier had a small radio transmitter added in order for shareholders to hear the broadcast. There were no destruction instructions at the end of the broadcast.
#Festive Jack-'O-Lantern- A festive jack-'o-lantern carved by the Division of Spookiness. An ordinary pumpkin carved with a frightening face and filled with a hallucinogenic gas with a speaker inside that is transmitting the broadcast. Shareholders were instructed to crush their pumpkins to keep it from freaking them out too badly.
#Pump Up the Jams Sneakers- Created by Pheidippides Pro Running Gear and the Division of Radio Transmission. These sneakers were created to fit the shareholders' feet exactly. They require frequent pumping to continue producing sound and do not need to be worn during the broadcast. The speakers are the best possible for footwear and the vibrations may inspire faster movement in the wearer. Shareholders need to wear the sneakers out and about in the near future on order for them to be stolen at some point or another.
#Conglomeration of Parts- This radio is constructed by shareholders from whatever they could put together from the box of parts sent out by Kakos. The only part that was required for this radio to work was the UltraCrystalDark, a small crystal that needed to be connected to a circuit board to begin playing sound. Shareholders were instructed to place their creations outside their residences and they would be picked up at the end of the broadcast.
#Something Destroyed- This broadcast came from something that the shareholders loved that was destroyed by Kakos Industries in order to make their Evil Quota. The something may have been stepped on, crushed, set on fire, or any other destructive action that then had a small speaker shoved into it in order for the shareholders to hear the broadcast. Shareholders were left to clean up the wreckage after the broadcast.
#Penis Cast- This broadcast came from a small cast of Soundman Steven's Previous Erection sculpted in ceramics. There was a small speaker inside and shareholders were invited to look at it and potentially stroke it as memories were shared about it on the broadcast. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were to take a small single-shooter pistol and shoot the sculpture, thereby destroying it.
#Mysterious Email Attachment- This broadcast came from an attachment from an email sent to shareholders. The subject of this email was XXX BIG TITTIES GROW YOUR DICK I’M A PRINCE FROM MADAGASCAR HAVE SOME MONEY AND SEX WITH YOUR BIG MONEY DICK XXYX OXYCONTIN, and the name of the attachment was "Get shit better grow your money". Kakos implemented a subliminal message that influenced shareholders to open and run the attachment and therefore subject their computers to the malware contained therein. The malware may have also brought along a file called JumpScare.avi, which should be harmless as long as it was not opened. At the end of the broadcast, the malware deleted itself, leaving the systems of the shareholders the same as they were before.
#Cassette Tape- This broadcast came from a cassette only release of Hip Tang Banana's new album The Taste of it All. Hip Tang Banana is not a really band, however shareholders rushed the cassette home and began playing it on their systems. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are instructed to crush their tapes underfoot.
#Brown Cardboard Box-This box is explicitly labelled "Do Not Open" and, if opened, will turn the person or peoples in the vicinity into mist. This mist will make anyone that walks through it or breathes it in sad. These boxes were created by the Division of Mystery Boxes, but no notes were left and the entire division had been turned to mist. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to put the mystery boxes outside and leave them alone.
#A Busker- This radio was the sounds of a lonely busker in the distance. This song sounds like something familiar, but when shareholders analyze the tune closer, it turns into the sounds of the broadcast. The documentation is complicated and it may or may not be blind luck that lead the scientists to the discovery of the radio.  At the end of the broadcast, the busker will finish their song and end the broadcast. They will then pack up their instruments and go home with their tips for the day.
#Bluetooth Ear Piece- This broadcast came from an insistent Bluetooth ear piece created by Herald Electronics. This earpiece makes the shareholders look like the worst kind of person, that Kakos would have no issue taking credit for. The audio quality is okay, but monophonic. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to take their earpiece out and destroy it in the way of their choosing.
#Wind Chime- This broadcast came from a set of wind chimes outside the homes of shareholders. One of the chimes was an antenna and the speaker was directional, pointing toward the shareholder's home. This radio was created by Sounds of Peace and Evil and the light twinkling can slowly be tuned out, leaving the broadcast playing in excellent clarity. No instructions for the disposal of the radio at the end of the broadcast.
#Penis Sound System- This radio is a three-piece system created by Shaft Electronics. There is a single speaker filled with tweeters, intended to be mounted vertically as well as two subwoofers intended to be placed on either side of the speaker. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were given the ability to destroy their radios however they wished.
#CRT Antenna Television- Created by Portable Eviltronics, a small portable television reminiscent of family road trips in the late 90's that played VHS tapes. The speaker is mono and gave off a high-pitched whine the entire broadcast, and the screen played audio visualizers that played on computers in the late 90's and early 2000's. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to destroy the televisions, being warned that they may be sturdier than they looked.
#Hand-Cranked Emergency Radio- This radio was hand-cranked and came with a note attached stating that there was no emergency. This radio was created by Shit Meets Fan Electronics. The radio is stereo and features a couple of good speakers, shareholders needed to continue cranking it for the duration of the broadcast. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are instructed to destroy their radios.
#Dancing Skeleton- This broadcast came from a cheap plastic skeleton that dances when the button on its head is pushed. When the button was pushed for this broadcast, the skeleton playing the broadcast as well as dancing. The speaker is somewhere in the head and excels in the mid range. The skeleton must be hung up, or else it will begin wrecking the things in the place it is occupying. Shareholders are not given instructions for destruction.
#Drugs!- This broadcast came to shareholders after they took an unmarked purple pill in a foil packet. These drugs caused the shareholders to become completely paralyzed and hear the broadcast in their minds clearly. At the end of the broadcast, all of the remaining drug was urinated out of their system and the effects would be worn off in eight hours, give or take four hours.
#Firework- The broadcast is coming from a firework tossed through shareholders' incoming projectiles windows. It is threatening to detonate at any moment, sparking and shooting flames, as well as giving off the sounds of the broadcast. At the end of the broadcast, 90% of the shareholders' fireworks should have gone out and just need to be thrown away. The remaining 10% need to figure out how to put theirs out and clean up and potentially collect some insurance money.
#Boom Wood Box- Designed by Wood Acoustics and the Division of Radio Transmission, this radio is a wooden box with a speaker inside. The sound is described as warm. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are instructed to set their boxes on fire somewhere safe.
#Electric Kettle- This kettle was designed by the Division of Aquatic Acoustics and the Koala Kettling Company. The sound of the broadcast is coming from the bubbling inside of the kettle. This kettle is so Evil from various sources that  any person who owned one before the broadcast was automatically made a shareholder. There was also a bag of drugged tea included with the delivered kettles. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to either destroy their kettle or drink the tea that came with it. The kettle would be gone by the time that shareholders came down from their trip.
#Dope Azz Speaker- This radio was designed by Plastic Bombastic. The radio itself is cheap and sounds like shit. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are told to destroy their radios.
#** Clock Radio- This radio come from Digital Tech Knowledge E, and has a standard clock radio speaker. It should sound pretty good, but no other details were forthcoming. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were not given any instructions.
#Radio Box- Created by the Division of Phoning It In. It's a box with a phone and a receiver inside, things are pretty normal. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are instructed to destroy the radio however they choose.
#Headset- This headset is designed by Bone Bliss Electronics, it is a bone conduction headset and radio receiver. This headset gradually shaped and changed the bones in the head and face of the listeners to make their face and head shape subtly more perfect by the end of the broadcast. The vibration of the bones in the skull gives the listener a deeper feeling of listening to the broadcast. The sound quality of the device is strange, but it must be worn through the whole broadcast.
#Jar of Jelly Beans- It's a jar of jelly beans with something inside of it that is making noise. This jar should not be touched, opened, the beans eaten, etc. It was created by the Division of Audio Sweetening and Confectionery Sounds. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were told to leave the jelly beans where they were and to ignore the sounds coming from them, not touch or eat them, etc.
#Neck Cable- This radio is a cable stuck in the back of shareholders' necks. It was placed there by Umbilical Informational Technologies and is technically not a radio as it is a hard line. The wire is connected directly into the subconscious of the listener and it may kill them or send them into an abyss in their minds. At the end of the broadcast, the cable should fall out of the necks of the shareholders or it can be safely pulled out.
#Stubbed Toe- This broadcast is coming through a stubbed toe gained from hitting a small metal cube on the ground. The radio is not the stubbed toe, but the cube that the toe was stubbed on, which is hijacking the vibrating pain signal in the shareholders' bodies and carrying the vibrations of the broadcast to the shareholders' brains. This radio comes from the Division of Ouchie and Kick 'Em While They're Down Entertainment. There is no instructions for destroying the radio.
#An Owl- There are no details about the origin of the owls or what division they may have come from. There is also no direction on destroying the radios.
#A Freshly Cracked Beer- The radio is the fizz from inside the can of beer. The beer comes from UltraDarkness Brewing Company and the Division of Fizz. The bubbles in the beer are popping in such a way that they bring high quality audio to both ears simultaneously. There is no direction about what to do with the radio at the end of the broadcast.
#**Audio Demonica Casseiver- Created by the Division of Budgets and Mergers. It's a high-quality machine with a tape inside that can drive a listener mad. There are no instructions on destroying the radios.
#Evilixia 7- A new cellular device created by the Division of Distraction and DigInfoDox. The broadcast came as a phone call that couldn't be ignored and shareholders were instructed to pepper in responses as if they were having a real conversation on the phone. The phone self-destructed automatically at the end of the broadcast.
#Permanent Marker Fumes- The marker was mailed to shareholders. The broadcast was able to be received by shareholders after a very small whiff of the marker. It almost certainly made listeners blind from the fumes and anyone who continued smelling the marker would begin hearing the broadcast increasingly loudly in their head, resulting in serious brain damage. The marker was created by Marker Island and the Division of the Cheapest Thrills. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were permitted to destroy their markers and any attempt to use it again may result in blindness again.
#Toy RayGun- The ray gun is the Zapplodicus Mark Nine Million, from Fun Fun Toys for Fun in partnership with the Division of Terrible Sounds. The ray guns have an antenna inside of the long laser blasting tip with a radio inside. The tip could fire specialized rays that could cook a person from the inside out and the antenna tip would burn if touched. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were told that they could destroy their rayguns or they could use them until they annoyed someone to the point of breaking them or until they broke.
#Album- These announcements are from an album that has been tainted by the emotions that shareholders had when they listened to it in the past. This album was tainted over a long period of time and taught shareholders about what it meant to lose an album to the memories attached to it. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were returned to the album on a track that they had previously skipped.
#Shoes- The Division of Perpetual Motion and Shoebert’s Shoes worked together to make the Foot Active Air Morgans. These shoes play music, podcasts, and the broadcast for shareholders. They require movement to be charged and will beep when the battery is low. At the end of the broadcast, the shoes began beeping indicating that they were going to self-destruct and that the shareholders needed to take them off and put them a safe distance away.
#A Firework- The firework is called the Wretched Fetcher and it was created by the Division of Boom and the client Consumer Explosives. The firework naturally is extremely loud and will drive away anyone within a 200 foot radius. The firework likely set off several small (or large) fires in shareholders' homes. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were told to throw the firework back outside of their windows and to try and avoid having their hands blown off.
#Fly Buds- A pair of earbuds designed by the Division of Pests and Mango Bango Computing Technologies. These earbuds drive themselves further into the ear of the listener the more often the listener tries to pull them out. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were able to pull the FlyBuds out before they self-destructed. It was recommended to put them underneath a heavy glass tumbler or something heavier and more sturdy.
#Crystals- The broadcast came from a bag full of vibrating crystals that look like sand. Each crystal is tuned to a specific frequency and as soon as those frequencies are passed through, the crystals start to make those sounds. Each of the crystals is razor-sharp in at least three directions. These crystals came from a partnership of the Division of Sharp Noises and Feeney's Sand. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to tie up the bag of crystals and crush them underfoot, then dispose of them anywhere they dispose of toxic waste.
#A Malfunctioning Fluorescent Light- The light flickers occasionally and the ballast is buzzing, which turns into the sound of the broadcast. The frequency range for this radio is higher than any before. The radio came from a collaboration between Finkel’s Fixtures and our Division of Deep Annoyance. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were told to destroy the tube or leave it as it should begin working properly again soon after the broadcast.
#A Ghost- The radio was a ball with a sheet on it floating around the shareholders. It should not be touched or interacted with in any way. At the end of the broadcast, the ghost should fly away unless it had fallen out of the air, in which case it should be put outside and picked up.
#Portable Tape Player and Cassette- This radio is of a type that nobody has ever seen before. They were found deep in storage and all of the tapes were blank, so they were retrofitted to be a radio receiver. The tape is essential to the playback, for reasons unknown. The audio quality is just okay and the unit is generally not great. It is powered by a small nuclear reactor, giving off unknown radiation. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders were instructed to remove the radio from their vicinity as quickly as possible for pick-up and disposal.
#Cooler and Receiver- This radio is a combination of cooler and receiver. The cooler comes from the Division of Alright, Bro and Dudequipment. The speaker is mono and the sound levels are "you should be drunk". Various cans in the cooler do things to shareholders when drunk; Black can is pure Evil, Red can is off limits for everyone, Yellow can starts the broadcast, and the Pink can ends the broadcast. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are allowed to keep their coolers, they would take up space somewhere until summertime.
#Broken Audio Cable- This radio is a broken audio cable plugged into an auxiliary jack. It had to be held at a very specific angle in order to play sound and cannot be propped up or bent in any way, it must be held by a person. The Division of Functional Malfunctions and Lo-Price Audio are responsible for this transmission device. At the end of the broadcast, shareholders are allowed to let the cable go and presumably throw it away.
#GamePerson Extreme- This is a newly released gaming device that has been pared down to its base functions in order to transmit the broadcast. It was packaged with a popular game which is also a part of the transmission. At the end of the broadcast, the GamePerson needed to be destroyed by crushing it.
#Big Sigs- A miniature radio with an enormous antenna capable of listening to and decrypting a large range of signals. It is the result of a partnership between the Division of Length and GreatBoom Audio. The frequency response is pretty okay for such a small speaker and internal components. At the end of the broadcast, the radio began to play soothing ocean sounds to keep shareholders happy and calm.
Category:Subplots