Zomped Thrice

The One You've Been Waiting For is the fifty-first episode of Cult of Squid. It released on July 15th, 2021 and was written by Purple133. 
== Plot ==
Zomp uses the Book of the damned and begins to wreak havoc as he gains incredible powers.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins with Zomp throwing Squidward through a stone pillar. Squidward hits the ground and struggles to move, then Zomp walks closer to him)
Squidward: Dammit Zomp! You didn’t HAVE to do this! All you had to do was break the curse on me and we could’ve been partners!
Zomp: Nobody makes me do anything. Not even myself. I know that makes no sense but I’m trying to sound dramatic. For what it’s worth Squidward, I am sort of sorry. Unfortunately you still being here makes my plans a bit of a pain to actually try and complete, so I’m just going to erase you from history and see what happens.
(Zomp opens the Book of the Damned and beings reading a spell; Squidward starts to glow blue and disappear)
Zomp: For the final time, goodbye, Brother Squidward.
[24 HOURS EARLIER]
(Noseward and Squidward are somewhere in Rock Bottom)
Squidward: Okay so do you mind explaining how you got your old memories from before Satan’s curse back?
Noseward: Well you remember those dreams I was having?
Squidward: Yeah?
Noseward: Well I had ANOTHER, and some creature with wings showed up and broke the curse for me. It also gave me the ability to translate the Book of the Damned. 
Squidward: A winged creature… an angel?
Noseward: I mean that’s kind of what I was thinking, but there’s no way ANGELS are real, right?
Squidward: Maybe, maybe not. Now isn’t really the time to find out, we have to go get that book back!
(Cut to Zomp walking into a Project Phoenix “construction camp”)
Zomp: Hello there everybody! You may not know me, but I’m about to take control of your measly civilization.
Random Fish: No, no you’re not! We just got it back!
Zomp: Tell me kid, what’s your name?
Random Fish: My name is Markus, I’m the leader of today’s project. Project Phoenix is doing so much good!
Zomp: You actually believe that? Jeez you people are blind. Anyways, conform.
(Zomp opens the Book of the Damned and flips to a page, then begins to speak)
Zomp: CONFORM.
(Zomp motions his hands and then everyone kneels)
Zomp: Awesome!
(Zomp flicks his hand at the reconstruction zone and it falls apart)
Zomp: So I’m like magical now? Even more awesome!
(The book glows an ominous purple; cut to Noseward and Squidward walking through a tunnel)
Noseward: Where are we going?
Squidward: Back to Squilliam’s.
Noseward: You found Squilliam?
Squidward: Yeah, apparently he died during the apocalypse but got brought back by angels.
Noseward: Oh, so they’re real.
Squidward: Yeah I guess. I don’t really know or care what that means for us right now though. Let’s go see if he survived the mob.
(Squidward and Noseward see a dead mob member)
Squidward: Well that’s probably a yes.
(They reach the hatch where Squilliam’s house is)
Squidward: So he should be here if he survived or wasn’t taken prisoner.
Noseward: Taken prisoner?
Squidward: I don’t know. They might do that? 
(Squidward pushes the hatch open and Squilliam’s waiting for them in a chair)
Squilliam: Hello boys.
Squidward: Okay so you survived. How?
Squilliam: Well after I closed the mob in and seemingly knocked us out, I woke up because I had injected myself with an antidote earlier that would protect me from the gas. One of the mob members seemed to be naturally immune so I just um..
Noseward: Killed him?
Squilliam: Yeah. I totally killed him. I mean it took a second but yep, he died.
Squidward: That’s really messed up.
Squilliam: Oh shut up Squiddy. Anyways, I opened the chamber and then locked the hatch so most of the mob members just ran down the tunnel presumably to where it ends in Rock Bottom. But they stopped trying to attack, which makes me think that maybe they’re under control.
Squidward: How could somebody control an angry mob summoned for the one goal of killing me by Satan himself?
Squilliam: Good question.
Noseward: What about those Project Phoenix guys?
Squidward: I mean maybe?
Squilliam: They’ve been reconstructing the city. I don’t know if they have that type of power, but they definitely have influence.
Noseward: We need a plan to stop Zomp.
Squidward: I had an idea. So he gets all his power from the book, right?
Noseward: I mean yeah, yeah he does. So we separate the book from him?
Squidward: Exactly. We get that book out of his hands for even a second, and he becomes just a regular guy again.
Noseward: Sounds like a plan.
Squilliam: Hey guys hate to rain on your parade, but how do you plan on even getting close enough to him to knock the book away?
Noseward: Umm
Squidward: What if we just throw something at it?
Squilliam: Augh. Here, take this.
(Squilliam hands Squidward a sphere)
Squidward: This is a ball.
Squilliam: No, it’s a honing sphere. I had these things built as security against trespassers, it’s a really simple idea. Throw this and say what the target is, then it’ll hone in on it and hit it directly. 
Squidward: That’s a convenient piece of technology.
Squilliam: I have a lot of technology here. You should see my lab.
Squidward: What?
Squilliam: Good luck! Wait before you go-
(Squilliam grabs three bottles of soda)
Squilliam: A drink.
Squidward: Don’t you have anything like alcoholic?
Squilliam: No.
Squidward: Oh, alright.
(The three have cheers and then drink their sodas)
Squidward: Wow that was actually really really good. What brand of soda was it?
Squilliam: No clue, I just found this in my somehow still functioning fridge. Good luck!
Squidward: You’re not coming with?
Squilliam: What? No. That’s a suicide mission. Bye!
(Squidward and Noseward walk away from Squilliam’s house and after a bit of walking come across a Project Phoenix reconstruction zone where Zomp is attacking a bunch of workers)
Zomp: HAHAHA! I RULE THE SEA!
Squidward: ZOMP!
Zomp: Huh? Oh, you guys. Unfortunately I’m not going to let you stand in my way yet again. As they say in every business ever, the third time’s the charm.
(Zomp flips to a page in the book)
Zomp: EXHALE.
(All of the air rapidly leaves Squidward and Noseward’s lungs)
Zomp: You can’t beat me this time!
Squidward: Oh yeah? 
(Squidward throws the ball)
Squidward: Book of the Damned!
(The ball shoots towards the book)
Zomp: RETURN TO SENDER.
(The ball shoots back and hits Squidward in the chest)
Squidward: Ouahghhhh.
Zomp: Alright, just leave me alone please. I’m willing to spare you guys, I just need you to not actively stand in the way of my plans for world domination. Think about how much money I could have! I’ll rule the world and be it’s only supplier of weapons! I’ll start and end wars as I please! 
Squidward: Well can you at least break the spell on me?
Zomp: Oh I mean sure?
Squidward: Really?
(Zomp throws Squidward through a nearby stone pillar. Squidward hits the ground and struggles to move, then Zomp walks closer to him)
Squidward: Dammit Zomp! You didn’t HAVE to do this! All you had to do was break the curse on me and we could’ve been partners!
Zomp: Nobody makes me do anything. Not even myself. I know that makes no sense but I’m trying to sound dramatic. For what it’s worth Squidward, I am sort of sorry. Unfortunately you still being here makes my plans a bit of a pain to actually try and complete, so I’m just going to erase you from history and see what happens.
(Zomp opens the Book of the Damned and beings reading a spell; Squidward starts to glow blue and disappear)
Zomp: For the final time, goodbye, Brother Squidward.
Noseward: Book of the Damned!
Zomp: What?
(The honing ball shoots up off the ground and hits the Book of the Damned out of Zomp’s hands, giving Noseward the chance to tackle him)
Zomp: NO!
Squidward: YES!
(Squidward stops disappearing)
Squidward: Sorry Zomp, you’ve lost.
Zomp: So I assume I’m going to prison then?
Squidward: How about we let Project Phoenix take care of you.
Zomp: Wait wait, nonono. You don’t know what they’re going to do, they’re-
Squidward: Oh shut it.
(Zomp hastily grabs the Book of the Damned off of the ground and opens it to a random page)
Zomp: HAHAHAHAHA!
Squidward: NO!
Zomp: Now let’s see what this one does. END.
Squidward: Nice knowing you Noseward.
Zomp: Wait what did that do?
Squidward: No idea. You tell me!
(The Feathered Friends show up in a fast boat)
SpongeBob: Get Zomp and secure the book!
Krabs: Since when are you in charge?
SpongeBob: Since you led an onslaught against us and the Cult.
Krabs: Oh yeah.
Squidward: Wait you guys remember?
SpongeBob: Yeah. I don’t know how or why, but I woke up in the Krusty Krab and suddenly remembered. So we got into the boat and came here because Project Phoenix said some type of terrorist was attacking them.
Plankton: Alright Zomp, you’re going away.
(SpongeBob walks up to Squidward and hugs him)
SpongeBob: We did it man, we beat the apocalypse itself.
Squidward: Yeah, yeah we did.
(Zomp flips the book)
Zomp: You know what. You guys keep screwing me over again and again and again. How about I’m the one that does it this time?
Squidward: What?
Zomp: EMIT.
(SpongeBob and Squidward disappear in a flash of green light)
Krabs: Where did you send them?!!
Noseward: Alright Zomp now we’re definitely turning you over to Project Phoenix.
Zomp: Do your worst. They’re gone, and they’re not coming back. 
(Episode ends with Noseward handcuffing Zomp and dragging him to the boat)
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