A Flag to Capture

The fifth chapter of Total Drama: Tiki Jungle, posted on February 2, 2011.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, "The contestants competed in a dinosaur bone-digging challenge! Over Nine Thousand proved that their awesomeness level is-- well, over nine thousand, and the Terrible Tikis did... terrible. Nic tried to be bad, again, but failed, again. Julia's shortness was quite helpful in the challenge, but led her to get poison ivy. Nic almost got eliminated, after his annoying-ness, but it was actually Alex who got sent home. Why? Nobody knows. Tune in for more fun today on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"
Octavia opens the door to her cabin, and slumps onto the bed.
"What's wrong?" asks Meg.
"Boy troubles." says Octavia. "Again."
"Aw, don't worry, Octavia." says Meg. "Boys are sort of useless. I mean, it's a reality show. What do boys do that help you win a reality show?"
"Make alliances," says Chrissy, who struts by.
"Oh yeah, and have you ever had a boyfriend?" asks Helga, who is reading a book called "Very Ugly Creatures".
"Hypocrite," says Chrissy.
"I have had a boyfriend," says Helga.
Helga says in the confessional, "Well, he's a character in the book I'm reading... I like to pretend he's my boyfriend..."
Meanwhile, the boys are talking about girls.
"Just ask her out!" says Gary.
"I don't know if I can," says Trey. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now."
"Consider yourself luckyyyyy." says Arthur. "Usually, when I even get close to a girl like Octavia, she calls the police."
Gary laughs. "So, guys, what do you think the next challenge is?"
"Capture the flag!" says Chris, bursting into the cabin. "Come outside, and I'll explain all!"
"Nah." says Arthur, who is floating in the hot tub. "I'm content here. And such."
Meanwhile, in the Terrible Tikis cabin, Julia is complaining about her poor team.
"What the @#$%! is wrong with this @#$%! team?!?" shrieks Julia. "You @#$%!s are going to have to learn a little thing called EFFORT, is that @#$%! clear?"
"Th' more y' complain to us, foo'," says Devin, "th' less we wanna do it."
Carson nods.
"Have faith, Julia." says Nic. "We shall get the job done in no time. Today, we must win!"
Sharissa chuckles.
"What is funny?" asks Nic. He turns around and grabs a sign off his back saying "I have a poopy diaper."
Elena is shown laughing in the confessional. "That was really, really immature..." she says, "But priceless!"
"This team needs to respect each other." says Nic. "I mean, a poopy diaper? Seriously?"
Outside, by the dock, Chris explains the challenge to the teams. "Today's challenge is a good ol' game of Capture the Flag!" he says. "Everyone knows how to play, right?"
Everyone nods.
"The Terrible Tikis will get this green flag, which matches the color of every tree, shrub and blade of grass in this jungle." says Chris, and hands Carson a green flag.
"Hey, that's unfair!" says Meg.
"They've lost twice in a row," says Chris. "I kinda feel sorry for them."
Julia smiles.
"And, Over Nine Thousand will get this large, and extremely easy to spot, bright red flag." continues Chris. He hands the flag to Gary, who puts it in his pocket.
"Each team will get a base, which they will hide their flag in. The Terrible Tikis will get the east side of the island, with a lot of bushes, and Over Nine Thousand will get the west side, which is mostly water. Good luck hiding your flag in a lagoon." Chris chuckles.
Over Nine Thousand groans.
"If someone from the other team tags you, you're out. The only safe zones are your bases. When you're out, you must proceed to the jail, and you can't get freed unless someone from your team tags you. We're only playing one round. The first team to grab the other team's flag and run back to their base wins!" says Chris.
"We need t' win, homes." says Devin.
"I will give you five minutes to hide your flag, then, it's findin' time!" says Chris. "Oh yeah. And watch out for tigers."
"Tigers?" asks Elena nervously.
"They're big orange cats with stripes, ever heard of them?" says Chris sarcastically. "Now, go!"
The teams rush into the forest. The Terrible Tikis get to their site first.
"Okay, can I be the leader for this challenge?" asks Julia.
"Sure," says Sharissa.
"Okay, guys," snaps Julia. "Me, Sharissa and Nic will stay at the base, protecting the flag and guarding our site. Carson, Devin, and Elena, you guys can invade the other team's base, and get the flag for us."
"Can we wear, like, war paint?" asks Carson.
"Sure." says Julia. "There's a blueberry bush over there. Smear it on yourselves."
Carson takes off his shirt, and smears the letter "C" on his torso.
Devin takes off his pants, and paints stripes on his legs.
Elena takes off her shirt and pants, revealing a bikini, and rubs large blue lines underneath her eyes.
"All right, guys." says Julia. "See ya."
The three war-painted Terrible Tikis trot off into the jungle.
"I'm gonna tie the flag to this tree." says Julia. "Hopefully nobody can see it. It looks like a leaf." She tries to tie it on, but is too short. She tries jumping, but fails too.
"Let me try," says Sharissa, who is quite tall.
"NO!" yells Julia. "I can do it." She then steps onto a stump. She finally reaches it, but only because of the stump. She begins grumbling.
"How tall are ya again?" asks Sharissa. "Like, five inches?"
Julia punches Sharissa in the gut.
"Hey, guys!" says Nic. "We must not fight if we want a good team."
Julia punches Nic in the gut.
Meanwhile, Over Nine Thousand is squishing around in the lagoon.
"All right, guys." says Arthur. "No luuuuuck." He begins to waddle about.
"Hey, we can't give up yet," says Octavia.
"True." says Arthur. He then sits on the flag. "There, it's hidden."
"That works, I guess." says Helga.
Arthur farts.
"...I'm not touching that." says Trey.
"Ewwww." says Helga. "That's really gross. At least hide it in my book or something."
Arthur shakes his head. "Nah, I'm gooood. Where are Gary and the other girls?"
"They went to go find the other team's flag." says Octavia.
Gary, Chrissy and Meg are in the bushes, around five feet away from the Terrible Tikis.
"They look occupied," says Gary. "Perfect time to sneak in and grab their flag."
"Where is it?" asks Meg.
"In that tree," points Gary.
"Ah," says Chrissy. "Stay down!"
Sharissa looks over to the bushes. She sees them rustle. "Julia, I think there's something in those bushes."
"Nah," says Julia.
"I'll go check." says Nic, He takes off his shirt and begins to stalk towards the bushes. Gary, Chrissy, and Meg crawl away.
Nic rifles through the bushes. "Nothin'." he says. "Good."
"Now, please put your shirt back on." says Sharissa.
"No need to." says Nic. "What, do you not enjoy seeing my buff ab belly?"
"Nope." says Julia. "PUT IT BACK ON. I'm gonna go to sleep. When I wake up, I want your shirt on."
Meanwhile, Carson and his gang are invading the Over Nine Thousand base.
"Intruders! Intruders!" shouts Octavia. "We must hide!"
"Where's yo' flag, dawgs?" asks Devin, while jumping up and down and swinging his pants around.
"We don't care where it is, we're gonna take it!" screams Elena.
Arthur giggles.
"Give it up, or we tag you!" says Carson.
Nobody gives it up.
"All right, then we're gonna tag you." says Carson. He charges at the team, tagging Trey, Octavia and Helga.
Elena grabs the prisoners and takes them back to camp. "I found these runts, refusing to give up their flag." says Elena.
"Goody." says Julia. "Throw 'em in the bushes."
Elena ties them up with bamboo and throws them into the bushes.
Suddenly, Chrissy jumps out of nowhere and tags all three of her team members, then runs back to the campsite.
"@#$%!" screams Julia. "We almost won!"
"Well, at least our flag is still here." says Carson. "You could look at it that way."
Gary, Meg and Chrissy are walking through the jungle.
"Tell me what we're looking for again?" asks Gary.
"My water bottle," says Meg. "I left it here yesterday."
"You know, this challenge is sort of all over the place, with no character development whatsoever." says Chrissy.
"Wow, Chrissy. Did you just break the fourth wall?" asks Gary, stunned.
Chrissy says in the confessional, "Mmmaybe. I don't even know what that means. Gary's nerdy, creepy and a bit of a pervert, but sorta funny. I want to beat him up sometimes, but I want to ruffle his spiky little hair at other times. Maybe I should get myself an Over Nine Thousand shirt, too."
"Come on, guys." says Meg. "Let's find that flag."
The three walk towards the Terrible Tikis' campsite. "I see them!" says Gary. "I hope we won't get caught this time."
"Don't worry, we won't." says Chrissy. She picks up a large rock and throws it at Sharissa, who faints.
"Um, you could have just snuck in..." says Meg.
"Chrissy does things the hard way." says Chrissy.
"All right then," says Gary. "Now, let's just get the flag so this unfortunately long challenge can finally end."
Meg sprints in, grabs the flag, and sprints back out.
"Run!" screams Chrissy.
Julia and Nic notice the three Over Nine Thousand team members, and begin to chase after them. But, before they can catch up, the three make it back to their base.
"YES!" screams Meg. "I win again!"
"Third win in a row!" whoops Octavia.
Chris comes up to the two teams with a grin on his face. "Honestly, I didn't expect that. The Terrible Tikis had all the advantages, but in the end, Over Nine Thousand won again."
Trey claps happily.
"So, you guys are safe from elimination." says Chris. "Terrible Tikis, you know the drill. Six of you will become five tonight."
"Aw, nutcakes." says Julia.
In the Over Nine Thousand cabin, Arthur says, "So, this is our fourth night in this cabin, eh? I love this place."
"Me too." says Trey.
"Me three." says Gary. "Hey, anyone want to play Maplopoly?"
"Nope, I can't." says Arthur.
"Why?" says Gary. "Who doesn't love Maplopoly?"
"I need a diaper." says Arthur.
"Arthur, you are the most disgusting person I have ever met." says Helga. "Why would you want a diaper? You're 16."
"Because of my loooose peanuts!" groans Arthur.
Trey says in the confessional, "I don't even know what that means."
Meg says in the confessional, while searching around for her phone, "My boyfriend broke up with me. I mean, he was becoming a bit of a @#$%!, but that's sort of bad. One, because my twin sister will start making fun of me, and two, that means Gary will start liking me again." She slams her head against the wall.
"Did I just hear what I think I just heard?" asks Gary, while playing Maplopoly with Chrissy and Arthur.
"Yeah, but you still have no chance." says Chrissy. "Helga's more your speed."
"Ewww!" shrieks Helga. "No way, Chrissy!"
Gary says in the confessional, "All right, I don't want to sound desperate. But I am! I need a girlfriend really badly! Even my buddy Frankie has one, and he's just as nerdy as me! His girlfriend's name is Monica and she's the hottest girl in the whole school! Poopy."
"Hello, Terrible Tikis." says Chris, at the campfire ceremony. "One of you will take the Path of Shame, again, tonight. Are you guys scared?"
"No," says Devin. "I got dis unda control, brotha."
"Well, good, because you're safe." says Chris, and throws a marshmallow to Devin.
"Whoo, G!" says Devin.
"Now shut up. Also safe is Carson." says Chris. Carson gets his marshmallow.
"And... Elena." says Chris. Elena gets her marshmallow.
"Julia." says Chris. Julia stomps up to Chris, gets her marshmallow, then stomps away.
"Sharissa or Nic, one of you is going home tonight. The final marshmallow goes to..."
"Sha--" says Chris.
"Wait!" interrupts Sharissa. "I think I wanna quit."
"NO WAY!" screams Julia. "Sharissa, ya gotta stay! You're one of the only cool people on my team! I know I insulted you and punched you in the gut, but I still like you a lot! Please don't make me be the only girl on the team!"
"Uh, I'm a girl." says Elena.
"Yeah, sure." says Julia. "Sharissa, pleeeeease stay! PLEASE!"
"Sorry, Terrible Tikis." says Sharissa. "I want to see Alex. I miss the little guy."
"Awww..." says Elena. "That's so sweet!"
"I like the guy, a lot." says Sharissa. "I mean, he's a lazy bum and all, but... He's cute, and funny, and awesome, and I want to see him really badly. Bye, everyone." She mopes to the Raft of Losers, and floats away.
"So, our runner-up from last season, and our third-placer, are both out! Only the winner is left remaining. Ironic, isn't it? Well, there's only one way to find out about who's going to get eliminated next... Watch the next episode of Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"