Spider-Rowley

125.Once upon a time in a small suburban neighborhood, there lived an 11-year-old boy named Rowley. Rowley was no average kid. Even among all the peculiar kids who believed in aliens, cryptozoology creatures, and haunted video games, Rowley stood out. He had the exceptional privilege of wearing nappies and chomping on dummies. His favourite superhero was the legendary, infamous and absurd Captain Arse Face, who he operated in a wacky world Rowley himself conjured.
Though the likes of Marvel and DC never created Captain Arse Face, Rowley had no cognizance of these comic book stalwarts. He was blissfully ignorant of heroes like Batman, Wonder Woman or Spider-Man. Hence, when his grandfather gave him a Spider-Man costume for Halloween, Rowley, with his unique interpretation, considered it a costume for 'Lester the Pooh' and he soared into silly fantasies. However, a day came when the limit of this fantasy was stretched beyond the ordinary.
Rowley came up with a new superhero he named Spider-Man. But this hero wasn't a high-range swinging, wall-crawling or a web-slinging individual we all know of. No, it was just a 63-year-old man scurrying around, eating flies, and producing silk webs from his derrière. Spider-Man or as he soon came to know him, Spider-Rowley, seemed to be contented, despite the jeers and cockeyed look from people pointing at him engaging in fly delicacies.
One day, at home, when a fly landed on his father's fingertip, Rowley lunged forward, swallowing the fly whole and unfortunately, part of his father's finger. The shock was offset by his mother’s delight as she celebrated the reduction of flies in the house. However, the joy was short lived. Consuming a fly had dire consequences.
Rowley fell ill, horrendously sick. He filled up ten sick buckets in less than thirty seconds and gave a whole new meaning to 'explosive'. His trusty nappies were not much help either. When the doctor arrived and diagnosed that Rowley's illness was due to his peculiar diet, his mother’s delight faded as quick as her son’s health.
Left with no option, Rowley had to improvise. His superhero self needed nourishment. Looking around, he found an alternative that was both tantalizing and more importantly, didn't go buzz - batteries. “Safer than flies,” he reasoned, “and more readily available.”
Hence, Spider-Rowley became Battery-Man and oh, how he loved them. Each time a battery made its way to his intestines, it gave him a funny tickle. Rowley and his parents would laugh over his antics. It was a comic spectacle, one that fans of Marvel or DC wouldn't remotely comprehend.
Years have passed. Today, Rowley’s town is known far and wide for its unique superhero - Battery-Man. Some sneer, some laugh, but for Rowley, his antics are manifested in high creativity. Despite his stupidity, there was a curious gleam about his imagination. He was indeed unique with his squashy nappies and his capacity for absurdity. He was more than Rowley now; he was Spider-Rowley, he was Battery-Man.
As peculiar and as riveting as that combination sounds, to the citizens of Rowley's neighborhood, it was as thrilling as it could get. And so, the adventures continued, with endless laughter, relentless creativity, and absurd remedies. Today, it isn't about Marvel or DC, Spider-Man, or Captain Arse Face. It's about a quirky 11 year-old boy named Spider-Rowley. And honestly, they wouldn't have it any other way.