There will be Grease and his New Toner/transcript

Previous Episode: School of Potato Puff (Rewrite)
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: April 30, 2022
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins with Leni at City Hall sorting out The Copier II's files.
Leni Loud: Okay, "A file about zoning laws." Another one that goes under "A!" *fits the file under "A", but there's a lot of files under that and struggles to push it in* Phew.
The Copier II: Great work, Leni! How are you liking the internship so far?
Leni Loud: OMGosh, The Copier II, it's the best! I learned how to fix the printer.
Printy the Printer: Aw bummers, I need a new toner!
Leni Loud: Ooh, I just got a great new toner. *applies makeup to laser printer* And I got a lipstick you'll love. *puts in a new toner for Printy, then closes the printer door, then adds lipstick*
The Copier II: Leni, you're the lady. When my campaign manager arrives, send him in. It's time to talk about the grease! Let's go to the Krusty Krab!
Leni Loud: If you're going to run a race, my sister Lynn says you should always do some warmups. *does jumping jacks*
The Copier II: *laughs* Leni, I don't think–
Leni Loud: Come on, Copier! Get that blood pumping!
The Copier II: *shrugs and joins her in doing jumping jacks*
Leni Loud: Three, four, five…
Printy the Printer: That's what I'm talking about!
Slide transition cuts with Mr. Krabs walking to the Krusty Krab whistling and sees SpongeBob cleaning up.
Mr. Krabs: Nice work, Boy-o. She looks cleaner than a freshly scraped hull.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh hello, Mr. Krabs, I… *drops the mop and screams* Your feet! *points to my feet*
Mr. Krabs: Hm? *looks at his feet and gets sprayed out by a hose*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Phew! That was close! You almost tracked goo all over your nice clean restaurant!
Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Good thing. *falls over*
Leni Loud: *gasps* Mr. Krabs, are you okay?
Mr. Krabs: *puts my claw up* I'm alright. *puts my claw back down*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *notices a grease trail* Hm... *follows the trail* Oh, looks like this puddle here is the culprit! Don't worry, Mr. K! I'll have her cleaned up in no time! Hm... ah-ha! *grabs a gallon of soap and pours it on my head, then pulls my tie and my head starts spinning like a motor*
He jumps and cleans the grease with his head.
Plankton: *pours a chemical into a beaker* Ok, you just pour this in here and...
A bubble lands on the chemical and explodes.
Lord Master Lox: *to Pearl* "It's a beautiful day," you said. "Why not do some evil science outside?" you said. *accidentally fires my inator* Lincoln! What in Roblox's navy are you doing?
Lincoln Loud: *comes onscreen* Oh. Sorry, Lincoln. I was just helping for Mr. Krabs.
SpongeBob's head stops spinning.
SpongeBob SquarePants: And I was just cleaning up this goo puddle for Mr. Krabs.
Lord Master Lox: That doesn't look like goo. It looks like oil! Holy shmoly, Pearl! We're sitting on a mountain of moolah!
Mr. Krabs: *falls onscreen* That oil's mine, you hear? *grabs SpongeBob* My employee found it, and besides, *drags the grease on my side* it's on me property.
Plankton: Not so fast, Krabs! *drags it on my and Master Lox's side* That's our oil! And it's on our property!
Mr. Krabs: *grabs the grease*
Lord Master Lox: *pulls it back*
Mr. Krabs: *pulls it back*
Lord Master Lox: *pulls it back*
They pull it and get launched back. They start fighting.
Karen Plankton: *analyzes the grease* Mmm! Actually, you're both wrong. It's not oil at all.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *stops fighting* It's not?
Karen Plankton: According to my analysis, it's a combination of both Krabby Patty grease and chum run off, which your two restaurants and your secret lair have been leaking in the ground for decades.
Lord Master Lox: So it's just useless old grease?
Karen Plankton: I wouldn't call it worthless, it has a high viscosity index and impressive flavor and parting characteristics.
Pearl Master Lox: Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: So it's worth full?
Pearl Master Lox: Yes, however the deposit appears to be evenly split between your restaurants and your lair.
Mr. Krabs: Well, Master Lox and Plankton, looks like if we want to make a lot of money..
Plankton: ...we'll have to do it as…
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: ...partners
A giant "PARTNERS" logo lands on them.
Time card reading "Several Long Days Later"
French Narrator: Several long days later...
Several long days later, at the Royal Woods Mall, SpongeBob, Lana, Hops, Lincoln, Lynn, and Lisa are building a stage for Printey while Luan prepares whoopee cushions for marketing purposes. Plankton is overseeing the progress.
Plankton: Lower, Lincoln.
Lincoln is adjusting the sign and lowers it.
Plankton: No, higher!
Lincoln Loud: *moves it higher*
Plankton: Lower!
Lincoln Loud: *moves it so low*
He falls.
Plankton: Okay, now it's too low.
Lola Loud: *approaches Luan and picks up and reads a whoopee cushion* Printey the Printer isn't full of hot air! Seriously? As a job, I absolutely did not approve of Luan's whoopee cushions.
Luan Loud: Printey never said you were his print job.
Lola Loud: He didn't print anything, Luan, but I'm the obvious choice! Leni and Printey have the same sophisticated vision.
Leni Loud: *approaches* Ooh, farts! *presses a whoopee cushion]* So fun.
Luan Loud: *giggles*
Lola Loud: *growls*
Leni Loud: Okay, guys, I'll catch you after the rally. Wish me luck!
Printey the Printer: Have fun, you guys!
Leni Loud and Printey the Printer: *leaves*
The other two girls and the rest of the boys wave goodbye.
Krabs is sitting in a lawn chair next to the grease puddle, as Master Lox and Plankton pace back and forth.
Lord Master Lox: Come on, Mr. Krabs, there's gotta be some use of this stuff we can agree on! *has an idea* Let's sell it to the military!
Plankton: Great, Master Lox! Imagine... *imagines a flame thrower* fuel for flame throwers, *images a robot being oiled by a helicopter* lubricant for killer robots, *imagines a group of soldiers that smell a bomb, are distracted, and explode* bombs that smell like french fries! *chuckles*
Mr. Krabs: We'll use it to boost business at the Krusty Krab: *imagines grease being poured from a pump onto an open Krabby Patty* A flavorful new sandwich topping, *imagines a grease milkshake as a cow moos* a savory new milkshake,
Three customers smell a grease-scented toilet.
Mr. Krabs: ...and a lovely new scent for the restrooms!
Lord Master Lox: *blows the thought bubble away with a flamethrower* Oh no! We're not using our grease to drive customers to your restaurant!
Mr. Krabs: *starts growling at him*
Lord Master Lox: Why I oughta!
Mr. Krabs: Why, you!
They start fighting.
Plankton: Oh no, they're fighting again!
Lola Loud: *angrily* Go back to your stupid imagination, Plankton!
Luan Loud: *angrily* Yeah, the imagination's mine, not yours!
Plankton: Why, you!
Plankton, Lola and Luan Loud: *starts fighting as well*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *uses a saucer to pour grease into a bucket*
Lincoln Loud: Oh my gosh! We don't see why you need to find just one use for this stuff.
SpongeBob SquarePants: We started using it for everything!
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox, Plankton, Luan and Lola Loud: *stops fighting*
With Krabs about to hit Master Lox with a wrench and Master Lox wielding a club.
Mr. Krabs, Luan and Lola Loud: Huh?
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: Wha?
He is shown brushing his teeth with grease*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Toothpaste, *wipes myself with a towel in the shower* body wash, *puts grease deodorant under my armpit* deodorant, *polishes my shoes with grease* shoe polish, *puts the grease on my face* all night face mask,
Gary the Snail: *licks the grease out of a bowl*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Gary's breakfast, *licks the grease from a bowl labeled "My Own"* my own breakfast! *puts grease on a bump on my leg, making the swelling go down* It even cured my bursitis!
Lincoln Loud: What I mean is, if you can use it for anything, why not sell it for everything?
Mr. Krabs, Master Lox and Plankton's eyes turn into money signs. They have set up a stand selling it as SpongeBob and Lincoln pumps it from the ground.
Mr. Krabs: *reads along with my finger* Dr. Krabton Lox's Miracle Everything Juice. Not bad.
Plankton: But we better get some customers here, Eugene. I was up all night painting that sign.
Lord Master Lox: Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: Have a little faith, you two. *gasps* Behold! The lunch rush!
A fish is driving and sees the stand. He and his phone start screaming and he stops his boat.
Fish: Wow!
Other fishes: *crashes into him and a bus crashes as well, creating a dust cloud*
The dust cloud clears, revealing that tons of cars crashed.
Mr. Krabs: Wee-hee! Time to get to work! *grabs bottle*
He, Master Lox and Plankton go to the crash site.
Three triplet babies are crying. A mother fish rips her hair out from stress.
Lord Master Lox: Pardon me, ma'am, but how about some Dr. Krabton Lox's Miracle Everything Juice and Printing Papers for Sale to quiet the little angels?
He puts the bottles in the babies' mouths, calming them down.
Mr. Krabs: *pours grease on the woman's head and sticks her hair back on*
She smiles.
Mr. Krabs: *runs up to a fish in a boat with a dented front*
Fish #2: *groans*
Mr. Krabs: Why, Dr. Krabton Lox can fix up your boat for you! *smashes it against the boat to straighten it out* See? There you go. Good as new.
Fish #2: Say, it really woiks! Three cheers for Everything Juice!
Fish in accident: Huraaay! *jumps out and run to the stand with money*
Woman Fish: We'll take one!
They all buy their Everything Juice and run away, leaving a giant pile of money on the stand. Mr. Krabs, Master Lox's' and Plankton's heads come out.
Lord Master Lox: Oooo!
Plankton: Look at all this cash, Krabs! We're rich!
Mr. Krabs: Not rich enough. We got to take our show on the road!
A bottle of Everything Juice transitions to them driving a boat up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School.
Mr. Krabs: All right, Master Lox and Plankton. Let a real salesman show you how it's done. *rings doorbell*
Mrs. Puff: *opens door* Eugene? What a surprise. Uh, we don't have a lunch date today, do we?
Mr. Krabs: Not with me. Your date today is with *motions with arms* value! Suppose I told you there was one product that could fuel all your boats... *turns SpongeBob and Lincoln into a condiment dispenser and launches grease on the boat engines, which spin rapidly* Reinvigorate old lighthouse paint jobs...
Leni Loud: Hey guys!
Printey the Printer: Hello!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *grabs a paint roller with grease and cleans the lighthouse, making it sparkle*
Printey the Printer: *prints*
Leni Loud: *pulls out a printed paper saying "Dr. Krabton Lox's Everything Juice and Printing Papers for Sale"*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Printey the Printer: Ooh!
Mr. Krabs: And even cover up those... *clears throat* maturation lines around your eyes.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *takes out a trowel with grease on it and puts it on my face, wiping it clean*
Mrs. Puff: How dare you? *slaps him, then takes out money* Give me ten bottles.
An Everything Juice bottle transitions to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Master Lox, Plankton, Lincoln, Leni and Printey walking up to Sandy's treedome.
Plankton: You did pretty good back there, Krabs. But now it's time to watch a master!
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, gladly.
Lord Master Lox: *rings the doorbell*
Mr. Krabs: Let me know when he gets here. *laughs*
Sandy Cheeks: *opens door* Howdy.
Lord Master Lox: Greetings, Sandra. I am here to tell you about our latest invention. It'll fertilize your lawn. *throws grease to SpongeBob, who pours it on his head and grass grows* Polish your dome glass...
SpongeBob SquarePants: *polishes the glass with a cleaning cloth and the grease*
A clam flies into the glass and gets dizzy.
Lincoln Loud: *puts the printed paper on Sandy treedome*
Plankton: And give even your oldest nuts that fresh-picked shine!
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *snickers*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *pours grease on a live-action acorn to make it bigger*
It crushes Plankton.
Lord Master Lox: It's Dr. Krabton Lox's Miracle Everything Juice and Printing Papers for Sale! This goes to Printey!
Leni Loud: Printey, you won! Congratulations!
Printey the Printer: Thanks, Leni!
SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Master Lox, Plankton, Lincoln, Leni and Printey motion to it, and confetti fanfare blasts.
Sandy Cheeks: *unimpressed* I ain't some hayseed, Plankton. I'm a scientist. I don't believe in miracles.
Printey, Leni, Lincoln, Plankton, Master Lox, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob are frowning.
Plankton: Well, but it can also keep oxygen machines running in top shape!
They smile again.
Sandy Cheeks: Huh...
Pan to an unstable machine inside Sandy's dome, smoking and sputtering.
Sandy Cheeks: *nervously* Well, I do like breathin'. *takes out money* I'll take a whole case!
An Everything Juice bottle transitions to Leni and Printey sneaking into City Hall with Mr. Krabs, Master Lox, Plankton, Lynn and the twins.
Lola Loud: Okay, team. We need something on Everything Juice.
Mr. Krabs: Now let's get digging.
She and Hops have shovels.
Lana Loud: On it. Wait, where's the dirt?
Lynn Loud Jr.: It's just an expression, Lans.
Lana Loud: Aw, man.
She and Hops throw their shovels to the carpet while Mr. Krabs, Master Lox, Plankton, Lola and Lynn proceed.
Leni Loud: Shh. You have to be quiet or we're gonna get-
Lynn Loud Jr.: *plays some keyboard music*
Leni Loud: *hides in a potted plant*
Lola eats the documents*
She was perusing.
Leni Loud: Lynn, turn that off! *unplugs the keyboard, but notices something juicy on it and smirks*
Printey the Printer: Lynn, don't wake them up or we'll get in trouble!
Lola Loud: *takes a snapshot and snickers maliciously*
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *laughs evilly*
An Everything Juice bottle transitions to Mr. Krabs, Printey, Leni, Lincoln, Master Lox, Plankton, SpongeBob, and their truck outside at dusk.
Mr. Krabs: This door-to-door stuff's taking too long. *smacks fist* We got to go big!
Plankton: How big?
Mr. Krabs: Musical big!
Printey the Printer: Let's do this!
He elbows the truck and its headlights turn on. It collapses into a platform with an organ and an Everything Juice and Printing Papers For Sale banners coming out of it.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox, Plankton, Leni Loud and Printey the Printer: *spin around*
They are in tuxedos. They dance as the organ starts playing, and a crowd appears around them. Krabs goes up to a trucker and starts dancing.
Mr. Krabs: *sings* ♪ Hey, there, mister, would you like to know about a very a special something that makes all your problems go away? ♪
Trucker the Fish: What is it?
Mr. Krabs: ♪ It's Everything Juice. ♪
Trucker the Fish: What?
Mr. Krabs: *goes up to an old lady and starts singing* ♪ Hey, there, [takes her teeth out and pours Everything Juice on them] madam, can I help you out? With those false teeth of yours, it must be [puts her teeth back in] very hard to shout hooray! ♪
Fish old lady: *muffled scream*
Mr. Krabs: *sings* ♪ For Everything Juice! ♪ *displays it in my palm*
Printey the Printer: *sings* ♪ It's Printing Papers For Sale! ♪
Slappy Laszlo: *sings* ♪ Can it make my voice sound much more creepy? ♪
Mr. Krabs: Probably!
Human Little Girl: *wears a gas mask, with a smelly worm on a leash and sings* ♪ Will it fix the smell of my pet? ♪
Mr. Krabs: *jumps in with a bottle* Buy it and see!
Plankton: Indeed!
Lord Master Lox: *goes to a group of kids playing marbles and sings* ♪ Hey, there, son, *pours Everything Juice on the marbles* looks like you might need to find some slickening solution *walks on a marble and rides it around, creating an explosion* so your marbles can get up to speed today! ♪ *poses*
As the kids have marbles stuck in their bodies.
Lord Master Lox: ♪ Try Everything Juice! ♪
Leni Loud: *sings* ♪ Try Printing Papers For Sale! ♪
Plankton: *jumps to a man with visible nose hair and sings* ♪ Pardon me, *pours grease on his hair* but I see you chose not to trim that rather lengthy hair protruding from your nose, *pulls the nose hair and turns it into a mustache* but that's okay! With Everything Juice! ♪ *gives an OK hand sign*
As the man smiles.
Printey the Printer: *prints*
Leni Loud: *takes the paper*
The paper has a star.
Leni Loud: It's totes awesome!
Lady: How much does it cost?
Mr. Krabs: Quite a lot!
Lady Upturn: *takes money out of a coin purse* I don't care. Give me everything you've got!
Mr. Krabs: *collects money from a cheering crowd and gives him a bottle of Everything Juice with my eyestalks*
Printey the Printer: *prints*
Leni Loud, Printey the Printer, Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *sings* ♪ Yes, my friends, this is the greatest stuff! ♪
Mr. Krabs: *takes a fish's dollar, then my wallet, and gives him a bottle*
Printey the Printer: *gives her a paper*
Leni Loud, Printey the Printer, Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: [singing] ♪ It's a wonder, it's a miracle, you just can't have enough! ♪
Lord Master Lox: *plays the piano*
Leni Loud, Printey the Printer, Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *sings* ♪ So we say hey, get some today! ♪
Bottles are thrown at the crowd.
Leni Loud, Printey the Printer, Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: *sings* ♪ There's no excuse! Everyone needs *sing on-stage* Everything Juice! It's new toner! ♪
Audience: *laughs, cheers and throws money*
Mr. Krabs: *counts money* A million one, a million two, a million three...
Printey the Printer: Alright Leni, this is your last step. I need you to print for me.
Mr. Krabs: You can do this, Leni.
Leni Loud: *nods, then prints for Printey*
Printey the Printer: *tries to print but it's jammed* Ow! Paper jam! *tries to pull the paper out, but it's stuck* The paper's stuck on me!
Lord Master Lox: Guys, is this what friendship feels like?
Mr. Krabs: Perhaps it is, Lord. Perhaps it is. *pauses*
They look at each other.
Leni Loud and Printey the Printer: Paper fight!
They throw money at each other.
Mr. Krabs, Lord Master Lox and Plankton: Money fight!
They throw money at each other as well, elevator dings.
Lord Master Lox and Plankton: Huh?
Printey the Printer: What the flop was that?!
A horde of angry customers come in through the elevator, yelling.
Lola Loud: *points at Printey* There he is! Get him!
Crowd Member 1: Really bad print job!
Plankton: Um, bye. *leaves*
Crowd: *jeers in incense*
Leni Loud: Uh, no. I was gonna say-
Crowd member 2: He's a bad print job!
Printey the Printer: Why is everyone staring at me? Girl, you've got it in the bag now!
Leni Loud: *whispers* This doesn't feel right.
Printey the Printer: Yeah!
Scoots from The Loud House: Boo! You're weak, Loud!
Mr. Krabs: Hey! What are you all doing in here?
Sandy Cheeks: *pushes my way to the front of the crowd, my helmet tinted yellow* We are unsatisfied customers! Just look at what your grease did to my air! *takes off my helmet and the greased air falls out, splattering on the ground*
Crowd: Ewww!
Mrs. Puff: *with pink eye* Your grease gave me *points to my swollen eye* pink eye!
Mr. Krabs: *rubs shoulder* Well, at least your... *clears throat* maturation lines are gone.
Mrs. Puff: *slaps him, then hands him money* I'll take two more bottles.
Krabs is about to give her some when Sandy slaps her and pulls her out of the way.
Lola Loud: *with Black, Yellow, Cyan and Magenta hair, points at Printey* His new toner ruined my hair! There's toner dust on my hair!
Lisa Loud: *points at Printey* Yeah, that's him over there!
Sandy Cheeks: No more! You guys have ruined the whole town!
Lynn Loud Jr.: Yeah!
Crowd: We want our *raises weapons* money back!
Printey the Printer: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Leni, we have to go! *grabs Leni*
Leni Loud: *screams*
Leni Loud and Printey the Printer: *leaves*
Mr. Krabs and Master Lox are cornered.
Lord Master Lox: *nervously throws away a stack of money*
Crowd: *begins smashing the building and setting fire to the money*
Mr. Krabs: *sighs* I knew you would mess this up. You always mess things up.
Lord Master Lox: Me? I'm not the one who came up with that lousy song!
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob and Lincoln pumping grease outside the Loud House with Plankton.
Plankton: *walks* Guys, hurry up.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *grunts, pump wheezes*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Must be running low on grease.
Lincoln Loud: Yeah.
Printey the Printer: *screams* AHHHH! HOW AM I GONNA GET IT OFF?! IT'S JAMMED!
Leni Loud: Printey, do it inside.
Printey the Printer: Okay. I'll go with you, Leni.
Leni Loud and Printey the Printer: *walks to the Loud House*
Mr. Krabs: *walks in with Master Lox* Oh, well, it wasn't me who sold it as fire extinguisher recharging fluid.
Lord Master Lox: All right, all right. But I'm not the one who sold it as acne treatment to high schoolers.
Plankton: What's going on here? *walks with Mr. Krabs and Master Lox*
Mr. Krabs: *walks away, arm raised* Oh, but you did market it as drinkable vitamins with your stupid inator!
Lord Master Lox: *stands in the Loud House* That's it! This friendship is over!
Plankton: Yeah, we are mortal enemies once more!
Mr. Krabs: Fine by *points to self* me! *points to Master Lox* I don't want to see you ever again, ever!
They slam the door of the Loud House closed. Suspenseful music is playing. An empty cavern appears under the Loud House. It caves in.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Printey the Printer: *falls*
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *offscreen* Whoa, whoa.
Leni Loud: *offscreen, screams*
Suddenly, the Loud House is completely destroyed.
Mr. Krabs, Master Lox and Plankton are under the rubble.
Mr. Krabs: This is all your fault!
Lord Master Lox: You ruined our plan!
Plankton: You trapped us in here!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I wish I'd never met you!
Lord Master Lox: Who cares, Mr. Krabs. So, none of this would have happened!
Plankton: That goes double for me!
Printy and Leni are shown, his scanner glass, top of the scanner and his new toner are completely destroyed.
Printy the Printer: My new toner is ruined! I had to get it fixed!
Leni Loud: Here you go. Here's your old one back. *gives his old toner to Printy*
Printy the Printer: Thanks, Leni!
Leni Loud: *excited* You're welcome! *shrugs* I brought your new toner at the mall.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *pops out of the rubble*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh boy, the seven best friends buried alive together.
Lincoln Loud: And it's all thanks to...
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *sings* ♪Everything Juice♪
Printy the Printer: *the front door falls off*
Screen irises out on him and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
Category:Transcripts
Category:The esa Episodes
Category:The esa Season 16 Transcripts