Vodka & Whisky

"Vodka & Whisky" is a song featured in All's Wellford That Ends Willy. A barkeep has a serious discussion with mobsters Pauly and Bruno about the merits of mixology.
== Lyrics ==
Barkeep
(spoken) Do you know how to muddle? Do you know what kind of accoutrements go on multiple kinds of cocktails? Do you know the three base ingredients for a well-balanced drink?
Bruno
(spoken) I don't care about this nonsense, your job or your life! We've come to town and we're taking jobs, right Pauly?
Pauly
(spoken) That's right.
The only kind of drink that you need to know
Is a drink with the name of the thing inside it:
Vodka! 
Bruno
Vodka!
Pauly
Whisky! 
Bruno
Whisky!
Pauly
If you get all fancy with your mixers and cherries,
I will have to deny it.
I only drink vodka,
Sometimes gin and also whisky.
So yeah, I can't do your job,
Maybe that is true.
But you're gonna give me protection money
Or I'm taking that job from you.
Bruno
Maybe you don't give us a job,
But I take it, what the heck.
You do the work,
I get the paycheck.
Ha ha ha.
Pauly
Screw triple sec!
Vodka!
Bruno
Vodka!
Pauly
Whisky!
Bruno
Whisky!
Pauly
Gin!
Bruno
Tonic!
Barkeep
(spoken) You see, you know that sometimes you need to mix a little something else with just the liquor.
Bruno
You tricked me!
Barkeep
(spoken) Oh yes, you can't just have...
Just the spirits, with that soon you will bore.
I promise this is a passion, it is not a chore.
You can't do what I do 'cause I use my heart,
And I know good drinks have three parts.
Pauly
(spoken) Well no, gin and tonic's only got two parts, it's got...
Well it's got the gin and the tonic
Are the two things that make it sublime.
You wouldn't add anything else to it.
Barkeep
Except maybe a slice of lime.
Pauly
(spoken) Wait, what?
Barkeep
Because everything needs the spirit, 
Needs the sugar but also the bite.
A gin and tonic without that lime,
That citrus, no, it makes it right.
Pauly
Okay well, Bruno and Paulie,
We've got a lot to think about.
We should go and get a book about how to bartend,
And then we'll come back and shout
Pauly and Bruno
All about vodka!
Barkeep
Vodka!
Pauly and Bruno
And whisky!
Bruno
Maybe tonic now that we know a little about it.
 
Pauly
Yeah, lime as well.
Pauly and Bruno
But mostly vodka!
Barkeep
Vodka!
Pauly and Bruno
And whisky!
Barkeep
Whisky!
Pauly
We'll be back sure as you can see,
Bruno and Pauly.
Bruno
After me.
Pauly
(spoken) After you.
Bruno
(spoken) After me.
Pauly
(spoken) No, after you.
Bruno
(spoken) No, after me. I'm basically agreeing with you.
Pauly
(spoken) Okay, you go first and I'll leave.