Nori

I'm Nori. Yeah, I'm a bit of a detective. How could you tell? Probably the noir-esque music or the exaggerated caricature of an oldschool hardboiled gumshoe with a cat's face on it. Well, you figured it out. No one's winning any prizes here, though. What am I investigating? Listen, this case has been cold for two years now, there isn't a point getting yourself involved in this. Damn, that does make it sound more interesting, huh? Fine. Let me lay this whole thing out to you, from the beginning.
I first dropped in this joint called r/SmashBros around mid-2018. It was bustling, few thousand users at the least, and I started off as just another unsuspecting chump. I was a chump with a goal, though. Anyone around here could tell you that place was a mess. Rotting from the inside out. Yeah, well, that was an opportunity. I joined for information. You ever hear of Markiplier? Yeah, the YouTuber. Nice guy, right? Yeah... Well, maybe not. Rumors been floating around that he had been merking some poor fools outside of L.A. with his truck. Adding a few more angels to the city of angels, you could say. Were those rumors totally unsubstantiated? Yeah, at the time, it sure seemed like it. I got a tip that someone in r/SmashBros would know, though. I blended in easy. Made a bit of a name for myself eventually, picking fights and getting hotheaded. 
Not long after, the server started breaking down. They were desperate for new moderators, goons to keep the people in line. I took that position, easily. Gave me an advantage in my investigating. Internally, the place was a total circus. No one agreed on anything, everything was a vote, and nothing got done. Whole lotta muscle and no putting it to use. It was a waste. Well, accounting for my temper, I eventually got the boot, which was fine by me. I got what the intell I needed. Plates. License plates, I mean. Was able to trace them back to a nice, new, red pickup truck. It was taken into a shop for repairs multiple times... Yet there weren't any filings for accidents. Weird, right? Yeah, that's what I thought. Wasn't enough to prove anything, though. Eventually a group of users split off and made their own server. SD Smash. Like anyone who knows anything about this stuff will tell you, you gotta follow the trail. Follow I did. That's how I ended up here. 
I tried to gather more info, but the people here can be as useless as a concrete parachute. I was at a standstill. When you're already a hothead, that kinda frustration can bring out the worst in you. I got into fights every day, and I never got any closer to a new lead. No one had the time of day for my investigation, either. They thought it was all some big joke. Can't blame them. Markiplier, beloved YouTuber, a murderer? I rolled my eyes when I first heard it too. I stayed longer than I should've. When you hit a brick wall, normally you're supposed to try to go around it, but I just stayed there. Occasionally I'd try to bring up the details of my case, but it never exactly went over well. No one had anything to offer. Eventually, I left. Two years passed. In those two years, I made breakthroughs, and startling revelations. Checked the dates he had his car in the shop. Lined up eerily well to some unresolved missing persons reports in the general area. His car was always in the shop within 72 hours of certain reports. If that doesn't scream suspicious, I dunno what does. Again, circumstantial, though. Would never hold up in a court of law. I had other ventures. Took up new identities, new looks, new names. Eventually, people started realizing. Y'know Destiny, the streamer? Yeah, he even got talking about it on one of his livestreams. Someone in his chat mentioned something about a witness account. Middle-aged lady, works at a bar. Called up one day, got to talking to her. Talks about how her and her boyfriend were walking along the road at night, when these blinding headlights started coming after them. They got mowed down. The boyfriend died, obviously, but she lived. She crawled away, she says, but she could just barely make out the assailant's face. Tough, wide, thin beard, glasses, red hair. Sounds like our guy, right? My excitement was palpable. 
I can't talk about much more from here in regards to the case. I can say that things are getting serious, though. Why am I back? Easy. There's still more to learn. I know there's a trail here, I just didn't have it in me to follow it before. Those two years really changed how I think. How I perceive things. Point is, though, that I'm back. We're really starting to get somewhere with this case. I hope my explanation was satisfying enough. Don't go telling people about this, by the way. Last thing I need is people with information getting antsy. 
Category:Users