Many Happy Returns (audio story)

Many Happy Returns was a download-only audio story produced to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the release of Love and War which featured the first appearance of Bernice Summerfield.
== Publisher's summary ==
A special feature-length charity adventure celebrating twenty years of archaeologist and adventurer Bernice Summerfield! Written by Xanna Eve Chown, Stephen Cole, Paul Cornell, Stephen Fewell, Simon Guerrier, Scott Handcock, Rebecca Levene, Jacqueline Rayner, Justin Richards, Miles Richardson, Eddie Robson and Dave Stone.
== Plot ==
Benny arrives at the Museum to undertake a survey on behalf of the Raloogan Cultural Enforcement Squad and meets the Curator, who shows her exhibits collected from throughout her timeline. These include an "I Dig Archaeology" badge, the original manuscript of Down Among the Dead Men and the Quantum, an anomalous artefact whose story is told by simulation as she recounts it.
The Curator powers up Joseph, who was recovered shortly after the Deindum War and has assisted with the Museum. Joseph shows her a recording from early in her career at the Braxiatel Collection when she woke up and found the bodies of two assassins; the first poisoned coffee and was shot by the second, who drank the coffee and died. A third assassin jumps from her wardrobe and she shoots him dead before a student arrives and screams upon seeing the body in the kitchen.
When Benny asks to see Jason, Joseph accesses a recording contained within a chronon-sealed flight-retrieval box from an alternative reality with "For Bernice Surprise" in a language which seems to be Old High Gallifreyan. In the recording, Jason reminisces about how they fled from a chef who intended to cook him after he won Dante's Kitchen, how they tracked down Irving Braxiatel in a plum grove and when he stunned a harpist for making her cry. Benny has no memory of these events nor of Keith or Rebecca.
Joseph powers back down and the Curator presents another simulation. In it, Benny, Adrian and Peter spend time in a teaching program before it is time for Peter to speak with his psychologist, who has told Adrian that they might be able to prove diminished responsibility when it comes to Jason's homicide. Benny tells the Curator that it was Braxiatel who made Peter kill Jason and he shows her a simulation of when Braxiatel took her to Great Britain and stole one of the Domesday Books, which she insisted that he return.
The Curator next shows her a simulation of Benny and Bev searching for a black box left in a maze by Braxiatel. When they find it, it shows Bev memories from when she was living in the 20th century and how she loved somebody whom she lost because of Braxiatel. The Curator next shows Benny and Iris travelling in the Celestial Omnibus and being attacked by a shapeshifter, who wanted revenge on Iris for taking away her opportunity to prove herself as a diplomat. Iris slips the shapeshifter a laxative.
The next simulation shows Benny, Ruth and Leo celebrating being a family. Ruth is wistful as she is worried about who she was before coming to Atlantis, but Benny comforts her by telling her that she and Leo would love her just as much even if she were to wake up as somebody else. Another shows Benny and Jack at Star Double-Star Casino on Legion where their competition all fall into comas due to a gas leaking from Jules Vega's watch. Jack tells Benny about his friend Lara, whose murder he blames himself for, and they are let out when the gas mixes with Benny's tears and becomes detectable. She accuses Jack of making up the story, but she learns that a truth gas was in play.
With the simulations caught up to the present, the Curator shows her one of herself near the end of her life, having escaped her retirement home to excavate some ruins. Whilst recording a message for those at the retirement home, she spots the TARDIS and goes to knock on the door, but it has disappeared. The Curator tells Benny that this is one hypothetical future but it is already changing; he reveals that he has been corrupted by a computer virus several weeks ago and, according to his new records, she will die in the Museum. She is shot at by a Naxian laser rifle and a Barvan plasma pistol and flees.
Benny is joined by a simulation of Jason, who explains that the Curator, since being corrupted, has been showing memories to leave visitors emotionally confused before turning the feelings in on themselves; although she believes that she is being chased and shot at, they are inside her mind. Benny is joined by Leo, Ruth, Peter, Jack, Adrian, Bev, Irving and Iris and calls for Joseph, who terminates the computer virus and makes the Curator disappear, although with the consequence of her data being lost from the Museum. They all disappear, with Panda appearing to leave with Iris, and Jason asks Benny to find someone before disappearing. Joseph temporarily shuts down and says farewell.
The Seventh Doctor arrives at the Museum after hearing of trouble and is welcomed by the Curator. He asks who resolved the trouble and, when he learns that it was Benny, he wishes her a happy birthday.
== Cast ==
* Bernice Summerfield - Lisa Bowerman
* Jason Kane - Stephen Fewell
* Joseph - Steven Wickham
* Irving Braxiatel - Miles Richardson
* Bev Tarrant - Louise Faulkner
* Adrian Wall - Harry Myers
* Peter Summerfield - Thomas Grant
* Ruth - Ayesha Antoine
* Jack - David Ames
* Leonidas - Marcus Hutton
* Iris Wildthyme - Katy Manning
* Panda - David Benson
* The Curator - Nicholas Briggs
* Late Arrival - Sylvester McCoy
* Dave Stone - Sophie Aldred
* Adam McAuliffe / Rick Wheeler / Jules Vega - Christopher Allen
* Casino Robot - John Ainsworth
* Vice Chancellor - Gary Russell
== Worldbuilding ==
* The Quantum was found at Verulamium Tertius, a Neo-Roman ruin on the nameless fourth planet of Pontefract's Star.
* Joseph was found on a moon of Polax Mefalsis.
* A video of Benny playing strip pontoon went viral on UniversalTube.
* The chronon-sealed flight-retrieval box was recovered circa 2608 from the Kasterboron asteroid field.
* Benny states that it was a different incarnation of Braxiatel who attended her wedding than the incarnation of Braxiatel whom she worked for at the Braxiatel Collection.
* Benny sung a lullaby to Peter that included in the lyrics Ace, a TARDIS key, and a Monoid's eye.
* Jason sends a letter to Benny in High Gallifreyan, this was given to him by you know who with the punctuated sweatshirt when he popped by.
* Bev mentions Robyn.
* Galyari hoop cannon.
* Iris had sex with the Emperor Hadrian on several occasions.
* Jack uses the surname "McSpringheel", a reference to Spring-heeled Jack.
* Jack's best friend was Lara, who was killed by a group of crooks after she stood in for Jack and beat them at cards.
* Benny does not remember Panda because of her drinking Nargon vodka shots.
== Notes ==
* This audio drama was produced to mark the 20th anniversary of Bernice Summerfield, who was introduced in the novel Love and War in October 1992. The novel was also adapted for audio to celebrate the same anniversary.
* Proceeds raised from the story are donated to the Myalgic Encephalomyelitis charity Invest in M.E.
* This is the second appearance of Iris Wildthyme in a Bernice Summerfield audio drama. She previously appeared in the audio story The Plague Herds of Excelis in July 2002.
* This is the first appearance of Panda in a Bernice Summerfield audio drama.
* This is not the first appearance of Sylvester McCoy in a Bernice Summerfield audio drama. He previously played the Seventh Doctor in The Final Amendment in October 2007.
* This story was recorded on 3 December 2011.
== Continuity ==
* The museum has Benny's "I Dig Archaeology" badge, (PROSE: Oh No It Isn't!) and the first manuscript of Down Among the Dead Men. (PROSE: Theatre of War)
* Benny cannot remember the first time that she met Braxiatel. (PROSE: Theatre of War)
* Benny's adventure with Iris is set during the time they spent on Artaris. (AUDIO: The Plague Herds of Excelis)
* Benny remembers Braxiatel attending her wedding to Jason Kane in Cheldon Bonniface on 24 April 2010. (PROSE: Happy Endings)
* Iris mentions a "leather jacket wearing" Chimeron. (TV: Delta and the Bannermen)
* The aftermath of Jason's death is mentioned. (AUDIO: The End of the World)
* Bev and Benny search for a black box in Buenos Aires shortly after Frost. (AUDIO: Secret Origins)
* The Curator hints that Benny will become reacquainted with an old, male friend. (AUDIO: The Revolution)
== External links ==
Category:Bernice Summerfield sources
Category:2012 audio stories
Category:Iris Wildthyme audio stories
Category:Irving Braxiatel audio stories
Category:Seventh Doctor audio stories
Category:BFBS audio stories
Category:Stories set in Blackpool
Category:Stories set on Zordin
Category:Stories that use Steve Foxon's Bernice Summerfield theme