Mr. Gus and Mr. Renaud

"Mr. Gus and Mr. Renaud" is the fifth of the Effed Up Movies within the Bigfoot Cinematic Universe. Written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway, it was released March 15, 2024.
==Synopsis==
Mr. Renaud consoles Mr. Gus about his father.
==Transcript==
:[The episode starts in Bigfoot's mansion in bloons, specifically in the meeting table room with Mr. Renaud and Jew Wario at the other side of Bigfoot.]
:Jew Wario: Bigfoot, if you walk out of Gusford's life now, don't you ever come back.
:Mr. Renaud: Sit down.
:Bigfoot: I ain't got time for no lecture.
:Mr. Renaud: I said sit down, Bigfoot!
:[Bigfoot sits down on a disproportionately small chair.]
:Mr. Renaud: You know, Mr. Gus was doing just fine until you showed up. But now that you're back, you have responsibilities to him.
:Bigfoot: Hey, look, we're still gonna take the trip...
:Mr. Renaud: Oh, bull! BULL! Gus is not a coat that you hang in the closet, then pick it up when you're ready to wear it. His life goes on. He's not supposed to be here for you! You're supposed to be here for him!
:Bigfoot: You get off my back! You think I want this?! IT JUST HAPPENED! Now, when Mr. Gus was a baby, I was scared...
:Mr. Renaud: CUT THE CRAP, ALRIGHT?! CUT IT! 'Cause I'm a pedophile.
:Bigfoot: Fine, Mr. Renaud! You win. You the man. You a better man than me. You happy? Now, are you gonna tell Gus or not?
:Mr. Renaud: I'm not gonna do your dirty work for you.
:Bigfoot: Fine. I'll call him from the road.
:Mr. Renaud: Yeah, why don't you do that?
:Bigfoot: Yeah, I'll do that.
:[Mr. Gus enters the room, holding a suitcase labelled "Cuba Visit".]
:Mr. Gus: Dad! What's up?
:Bigfoot: Gus, I'm glad you're here. Some business came up... so we're gonna have to put our trip on hold. You understand, right?
:Mr. Gus: Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
:Bigfoot: Just for a couple weeks.
:Mr. Gus: Mhm, I understand.
:Bigfoot: Maybe a little longer.
:Mr. Gus: Yeah, whatever, whatever.
:Bigfoot: Look, I'll call you next week and we'll iron out the details, okay?
:Mr. Gus: Yeah, yeah.
:Bigfoot: It was great seeing you, son.
:Mr. Gus: You too, Bigfoot.
:Bigfoot: Yeah, um…
:[Bigfoot exits his mansion and seemingly vanishes.]
:Mr. Renaud: I'm sorry, Gus.
:Mr. Gus: You know what? Actually, this works out better for me. You know, the kiddies this summer come to class wearing next to nothing, you know what I'm sayin'?
:Mr. Renaud: Mr. Gus, it's all right to be angry.
:Mr. Gus: Hey, why should I be mad? I'm saying, at least he said goodbye this time. I just wish I hadn't wasted my money buying this stupid present!
:[Mr. Gus empties the suitcase, revealing a stone statue of Bigfoot with Jew Wario, Mr. Renaud, Mr. Gus and Joe Mama beneath him.]
:Mr. Renaud: I-I'm sorry. If there was something that I...
:Mr. Gus: Hey, you know what? You ain't got to do nothing, not now, honey. You know, it ain't like I'm still five years old, you know? It ain't like I'm gonna be sitting up every night askin' Uncle Grandpa, "When's Daddy coming home?", you know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to raid my first classroom, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it, too, didn't I, Paul?
:Mr. Renaud: Yeah, you did!
:Mr. Gus: Got through my first date without him, right? I learned how to drive, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him, I had so many great birthdays without him and he never even sent me a damn card! TO HELL WITH HIM! I didn't need him then, I don't need him now.
:Mr. Renaud: Mr. Gus, wait...
:Mr. Gus: No, you know what, Renaud? I'ma be a bloons military general without him, I'ma move into your mayoral mansion without him, I'ma elope with the beautiful man in front me, and I'ma fuck me a whole bunch of kids. I'ma be a better man than he ever was, and I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love kids! 
:[Extended pause.]
:Mr. Gus: How come he don't want me, man?
:[The episode fades to black.]
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:2024 Shorts
Category:Shorts
Category:Parody
Category:Drama
Category:SBFW: Finding Bigfoot
Category:Bigfoot Cinematic Universe
Category:Effed Up Movies