The Inbetweeners 3

Many years after the Inbetweeners had ended, it was made abundly clear by the show's creators, Damon Beesley and Ian Morris, and the actors, James Buckley, Simon Bird, Blake Harrison and Joe Thomas, that they would never do another piece of media in the show's chronology again, with the second film being the stopping point. 
What people don't know however is that Damon Beesley himself had written a script for a fake third film as a joke while he was drunk one night, which wasn't shared with anyone except Ian Morris. How would I have known about this? I worked at E4 for a few years, when they were doing the Inbetweeners reuinion show (which of course was shit) and while having some part in it, I had a chat with Ian and Damon about the show and what it became. Damon brought up that after they finished up the second film, he had written a script for a "third film" as a joke to make himself laugh, and that for the purposes of the show he'd share it on the live stage with the four actors. Which thank fuck never fell through. 
The three of us decided to read through the script throughout the entire lunch break and I have to say I was really impressed with where it went. 
The plot of the script was that after Simon would finally managed to have sex with Carli with a broken condom, he would have to move in with her to take care of the baby, which would cause a lot of tension between him and his mother Palma and father Alan. So in order to deal with that sudden pressure on his life of actually becoming an adult, suddenly brought on by himself for not checking the condom, he would start drinking excessivley at any stag party he'd be invited to, with Jay, Neil and Will on the sidelines, very concerned for him. 
All of this shit in the script from this synposis involved with him and the three other guys driving in the minge mobile doing some dumb shit like in any other Inbetweeners episode to leviate the pain of being a potential father, hoping for an abortion. Basically just the four guys driving around Rudge Park Comprehensive, doing a lot of destructive shit, much to Will's protests. Nostalgic but worringly different. 
One scene that sticks out in my mind from the script was this scene that Damon wrote in a very detailed way, describing everything about it and describing what would be needed for the set piece. It was a scene where Simon was at a stag party, with Jay and Neil, after Will would've left, telling the three guys to go fuck themselves because of his posh sheltered lifestyle conflicting with this kind of stuff again. Where Simon would be in the corner of a bedroom, curled up in a ball, crying to himself after taking some asprin, with Jay passed out on the floor next to a bottle of strong vodka that was nearly empty, and Neil fucking a girl, "played by Roisin Conaty" with airpods in his ears, listening to Comfortbly numb. 
Damon and Ian said to me that the point of this scene was to show the sort of mental state Simon would've been in, stating that Will left for the right reasons. 
The ending of the script was tough to swallow for me personally. It ended with a series of events that managed to turn Simon's life around, for better or for worse. The events involving his mother and father dying in a car collision, Will's mother Polly letting her son go, knowing he's ready for life, Pedo Kenedy getting arrested for touching a child in the school courtyard, and Jay and Neil managing to get lucky with another set of girls. 
This was where Simon would have to conquor his fear of becoming an adult, as all of the things that brought colour to his life as a teenager would slowly be taken away from him, and that he'd have to let it go. Before eventually moving out after his parents' funeral, he would have a serious chat with Will, with the two of them going their seperate ways, walking in opposite directions as Simon would see Neil and Jay, cleaned up and more in line with the direction he's going, and Will meeting someone. 
As Simon would get into Carli's car, to drive off with her somewhere, he would talk to her about a brief case for her new job. With this from the perspective of a baby in the car. 
The script wasn't shown on the reunion show because the show itself was very fucking unclear. And although this script I read was clearly a joke, it still blew my mind that Damon had put this level of effort into filling his time into it. Boredom does many things to a person, and I think that script is a good example of how much fucking boredom, is filled in that short space of time. Boredom can sometimes be a cunt, but it can sometimes be cool.
Category:The Inbetweeners