Gingers, Cats, and Ginger Cats

Gingers, Cats, and Ginger Cats 
==Eden==
Mimmi's just learned the hard way not to play poker against Siqi (I think her wings are from the condor family).
Yeah, betting against the psychic is a baaaaaaad move. XD
I mean, you'd figure, she's clearly got some mind-reading thing going on by the simple fact /you're dead and /she's alive but... 
Mimmi might be too confident in her gambling abilities to take that into account ... XD
I like it! Not too sure about the recurring idea it's strip poker.
Strip poker sounds /very Mimmi.
==Grapevine==
To: chusiqi@chu.cn
From: hhansen@ranger.ppdc
Subject: Checking the grapevine 
Dear Miss Chu,
It has come to my attention that several key members of the former PPDC have been frequenting your services. I feel it would be in bad taste not to offer you compensation for your time. 
On a personal note, on the off-chance he's too much of a stubborn bastard to stay peacefully dead, has a Ranger Charles Hansen made an appearance?
Thank you very much for your time, 
H Hansen, Marshal
.
To: hhansen@ranger.ppdc
From: chusiqi@chu.cn
Subject: Re: Checking the grapevine
Ranger Hansen--
(You prefer that title so I'll use it.)
If you're talking about that cranky Australian ginger whom I will call 'Chuckles' when I see him, then no, I have not. I'll keep an eye out and send a notice through the proper channels. Please be aware I have absolutely no idea why all these people are still hanging around me; this is somewhat of an unprecedented development. There is a very good chance I won't see him, in fact I can almost guarantee I won't. There are also a few misconceptions I need to correct, however that can wait for our meeting. 
I believe you're available on Tuesday, around 11? I'll have my security clearance ready and all necessary information for the contract. 
Chu S.
==Spat at by an Angel==
A few nights later ....
"Oi!" 
Siqi cracks open her eyes, glares at her pillow, and sits up. "Good morning, Chuckles, what can I do for you?"
"My old man's not taking good enough care of Max." Chuck sits down heavily on the end of her bed. 
"He's kinda busy." 
"That's not good enough!" Chuckles snarls. 
Siqi throws salt at him. 
He yelps, smoking. 
Siqi readies another pinch. 
"The fuck was that?" 
"Salt." Siqi lies back down. "I don't talk to angry ghosts, I cleanse them. Calm down or fuck off."
"My dad and I never talked."
"Boohoo, I regret all the things I never said. Legitimate woes, not a good enough reason to be an asshole to me." 
"I don't have to deal with this."
"Really." Lounges against her stack of pillows. "Who was the last person who talked to you? Max? Pretty good, but dogs aren't capable of human conversation."
[stuff]
"What's with the whole 'wing' thing? Isn't that a little 90s?"
"I was born in 2003."
"Goddamnit, I hate talking to dead kids."
"I'm not a kid!"
"I'm twenty seven in May and still aging. Six years older, Chuckles; you're a kid." 
"How the hell do you remember the 90s?"
"One word, Chuckles: reruns."
Which is how they wound up watching Teen Angel (1997) for the rest of the night. 
"I can't actually related to any of this," said Chuckles. 
"Neither can I, t'be honest." Siqi turned off the TV. "That was a waste of time."
"I don't feel so shitty anymore."
"Then it did some good, I suppose. Why not you go hang out with Max for a bit so I can get a bit more sleep?" 
"Mind if I stay here?"
"So long as you keep your mouth shut and don't antagonize anyone, sure. Please?"
"I'll do my best."
==Prescience==
gal_behind_the_curtain: mimi i request ur prescience
gal_behind_the_curtain: pls come when convenient which i no is now so be here soon
gal_behind_the_curtain: k thx bye
Yeung_(TM): I'm on my way
Yeung_(TM): I didn't know you typo'd
gal_behind_the_curtain: i dont
gal_behind_the_curtain: i have a draft u need to look over
Yeung_(TM): Do you wanna just email it?
gal_behind_the_curtain: uh no
gal_behind_the_curtain: i wanna see u!!
gal_behind_the_curtain: we have TEN years to make up for
.
Dr Gottlieb-
I'm a friend of Tang Mǐn’s; you don't know me but I know way more about you than I would like. You are almost 36, the main brain behind the Jaeger Program coding, graduated from TU Berlin's math program (with honours!), started work for the PPDC in November of 2014, blah blah blah more stuff find-able on the internet so on and so forth. 
Now for the fun bits! You have a secret--I really cannot express the degree to which I don't care--and a lost love. I do care about that. Now that you're aware I'm serious, for Heaven's sake do something about your fucking ghost. 
He's driving me nuts. 
Enclosed is a guide on how to jerry-rig a personal shrine. Please build one and use it and just get him out of my hair. I really, really, really don't have time to care for him. I have far too many responsibilities to focus on any one spirit, especially one for whom I cannot do a thing. 
Thank you for your time, 
- Chu Siqi
PS 'Eat in' sends his love, some stuff about sadness, regret, woe--happy you found your 'heart' though--standard ghost feelings DO SOMETHING 
.
「It's bad, isn't it?」 
Mǐn puts down the tablet. 
Dark circles ring Siqi's eyes and her hair needs serious TLC. 
「Considering the circumstances,」 Mǐn begins slowly, 「it's alright.」 
Siqi scoffs. 
「I mean, it needs some editing obviously, but you knew that or you wouldn't have asked my opinion.」
「You know the guy, right? Can you make this... palatable? I think I'm gonna try for a nap.」
“It’s not all,” Min checks the name, “ ‘Eat in’, correct?”
“Heavens, no,” replies Siqi. “It’s the damn spheres. All the,” she waved a hand, “whatevers are shifting and it’s freaking everyone out.”
“Good. Go rest.” 
Siqi drags herself up the ladder and conks out mid flop. zs', 
Mǐn touches up the email (ie, actually makes it sound polite & professional), Siqi OKs it when she wakes up, and off it goes. 
.
"Herms, dude, are you OK?" Newt rushes to the sofa. "You look like you've seen a ghost." 
"Just... just an old friend I thought I'd never hear from again."
Newt looks at the tablet. "Ghosts? Pfft, what a hack."
The IM window pops open:
Yeung_(TM): This is Siqi
Yeung_(TM): I'M NOT A HACK 
Newt snorts. "Yea right." 
Yeung_(TM): (Siqi) Its true lizzie
Newt snatches the tablet. "It is so on," he growls, typing furiously. 
H_Gottlieb: IT'S AXOLOTL YOU LYING FUCKER GHOSTS DONT EXIST
Yeung_(TM): ASSVIOLIN'S MORE APT LOSER GHOSTS DO EXIST IVE GOT ONE ROUNDING UP CATS 
H_Gottlieb: *IM* NOT THE ONE BEING A TOTAL BITCH
Yeung_(TM): YOU ARE TOO ASSVIOLIN
H_Gottlieb: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR LOGIC 
H_Gottlieb: CATS??? GHOSTS??? ARE YOU *INSANE*????
Yeung_(TM): theyre ghost cats, duh
==Buddy==
I'm wondering why this one ends with Chuck asking to hang out with a virtual stranger because he's lonely.
There's a very silly part of me that wants to assign surly Chuck to watch over Artur as a guardian angel and split his time with harassing Herc.
==Movie Night==
I've got this lovely mental image of Siqi and her boys on a couch in a dark room, clearly watching a movie, but Chuckles has passed out on Gingersnap and there are ghost cats /everywhere/.
Siqi, Chuckles, and Gingersnap pile into her room for their weekly movie night. Ghost cats. 
Siqi flips through the binder of ready-made shade paper for snacks. Ghost cat. 
Chuckles finagles the projector. Ghost cat. 
Gingersnap nudges ghost cats off the couch. More ghost cats.
They reconvene on the couch. So do the ghost cats. 
Siqi hits ‘play’. Ghost cat. 
They watch the movie. As do the ghost cats. 
Chuckles passes out. Ghost Gingersnap. 
Gingersnap gets a handful of (shade) popcorn. Ghost cat. 
Siqi goes to change the volume. Ghost cat. 
Gingersnap pets a ghost cat. Ghost cats. 
Siqi stretches her legs. Ghost cats tumble off the sofa. 
Chuckles sleeps on, unaware of the cats packing themselves around him. 
Gingersnap pats a ghost cat. Ghost Chuckles. 
All hell breaks loose. Calm Siqi.  
「Uzgoin'on?」 slurs Chuckles from the floor. 
「I ... I, uh, um, the, I, a cat, uh, I--I just realized I haven't checked on her man today bye!」 Gingersnap vanishes. 
「Di' I miz somethin'?」 
「Only half the movie,」 grumbles Siqi and gives herself a mental kick. 「Shall I rewind?」 
Chuckles rubs his eyes. 「Sure.」 He pushes himself up only to find an unhappy couch between him and the cat. 
They hiss at him. 
He glares back and gets to his feet. 
Rather than shovelling cats off the spot, he lifts the blanket and squirms under, much to their displeasure. 
「All I can say is I'm glad these are small cats,」 Siqi remarks.
「Don't fucking say that!」 Chuckles groans. 
Siqi grins with too many teeth. 
. 
==Gingers Snapping==
「Dude,」 says Siqi after Gingersnap skitters away, red-faced, for the fifth time that morning, 「you gotta talk to him.」
「About what?」
「He thinks you're gonna make like a ginger and snap him.」
Chuck frowns. 
「He mistook you for a cat--」
「That bloody fucker!」
「--and petted you by accident.」 Siqi tugs him back down. 「Movies? Cats everywhere--」
「Really doesn't narrow it down.」 
「The other night? You fell asleep, woke up on the floor, outnumbered 20 to one by felines?」 
「How'm I supposed to remember that? I was asleep!」
「Oh, I don't know, maybe by the unholy shrieking of a thousand cats flying?」
「Will you fucking stop it with the cats?」 
「If you go talk to him, I might.」
「Again, I ask the question.」
「Very buff--」
Chuck preens. 
「--fy of you.」
Chuck deflates. 
「He thinks you think he was hitting on you.」
「I thought he was petting.」
「Making a pass? Courting? Gawd I hate talking to kids, can't believe I'm explaining this-- fuck you, Chuckles.」 
He smirks.
「Just go clear things up with the ginger.」
Chuck swaggers off. 
「And I mean the humanoid!」
Chuck flips her the bird. 
==Sticky Joss==
Chuck spends the day convincing a herd of child-sized spirits that hanging around a bereaved mother was not cool, and returns to the shrine to find a joss sticky note on the gate: 
Shatterdome Park. 
No recent activity in the area; fix that. 
Act ghostly. 
Yes you are my trained monkey. 
Have fun, Chuckles.
- Your lord and master, Siqi 
Chuck crumples up the note and drops it in a burner. As it curls and disintegrates, he saw a flash of red. 
And then felt something on his head. 
Made of felt. 
It was a fez. 
At least he'd long since mapped out the pipes. Next time she had a shower, Siqi wouldn't get a drop of hot water. 
[debates about 'But he kept the fez. It was cool.']
==Grumpy==
From "Kiwibot Origins"
I think Siqi and Lucky would get along quite well. I picture Lucky as what Chuckles would've become if he'd lived to have a house and lawn to tell kids to get off of.
What, you mean Chuckles doesn't shoo kids off his lawn already? :D 
Very good point about Chuckles. A crotchety old man before his time. "In my day, we had to punch Kaiju on our way to school /every morning/. And it was uphill and against the wind."
BWAHA!!!! "You think this is hard? Back in my day, we had to walk to school. No summoning! Uphill both ways, Kaiju around every corner!" 
==Silent as Snow==
A few weeks later, a snow leopard passes away at the national zoo. Takes her almost a month to arrive at the Chu apartment, much to the amusement of Tall-Grass-in-the-Wind until Sìqì’s mom cuffs his ears and points out he sat on a street corner wailing for a week. 
Tall-Grass-in-the-Wind huffs and stalks off, clinging to the fact the newcomer was scarcely a third his size and really, everyone knew stripes were the best. 
「Was he always this full of himself?」 Sìqì asks, dropping to the floor. She scoots under the table and the leopard joins her, pressing a warm nose into Sìqì’s knees for a moment, then rolls onto her legs and curls between the table’s knifecold sharppine blacktrees against nightsky notabreathofwind 
Zǐqì chuckles and passes Siqi's dad a measuring cup. 「The better question is whether his ego’s always been that fragile.」
「That your name?」 Sìqì murmurs. 
Silent-as-the-Stars purrs. 
「Which we all know is 'yes',」 adds Sìqì’s dad. 「How on Earth do you put up with him?」
「He never left,」 Zǐqì replies dryly. 「And,」 she leans into love of my life lucky am I, 「because someone thought a tiger familiar was pretty cool.」 
Siqi's dad can't help but smile and kisses her. 
「‘Ey, Chuckles,」 Sìqì greets absently. 
From the next break in the table legs, Chuck glares as if she’s insulted the honour of every single puppy he’d ever hopped to own. 
Silent-as-the-Stars twists in Siqi’s lap, sniffs sharply in Chuck’s general direction, and sneezes. 
And now she’s insulted their mothers, fathers, and ancestors. 
Silent-as-the-Stars she her head against his leg, twisting herself around for belly 
==Bite Yer Legs Off==
「I'm fine,」 calls Chuckles with a wave. 
The Hungry ghost collapses with a poof.  
「I'm fine,」 Chuckles insists as he swayed to his feet. 
「Lemme look at you,」 Siqi demands. 
One eye focuses on her, the other meanders about in its socket. 
「See? I'm fine.」
「Am I not seeing you right, or is your arm hanging on by a thread?」
Chuckles looks at his arm. 「No, it isn't.」 
「Pretty sure it is.」
「I've had worse.」
「We'll get you home and you can rest up.」 Siqi gently herds him to her car. 
「Pfft, that was a piece of cake.」
「Of course it was.」 She holds upon the backseat door. 「Would the great hero care for transportation?」 
Chuckles smirks and gets in as if he were royalty and totally whacks his head on the frame. 
「D'I tell you I took out a Kaiju with a flare gun?」
「No! That sounds exciting!」 
「Yea, 'did it with my old man. Jus'us.」 Chuckles topples over and continued mumbling the story. 
So maybe Siqi tunes into the universe and finds the quickest route home with the least amount of traffic and gets every green light. Wasn't like she does it often, doesn't want to 'abuse the power' or take away from important things, and besides, that Hungry ghost had been hungry for Chuckles and now she can almost see right through him. And there's that whole thing with the arm. Totally important. 
The concussion-y-thing's pretty much gone by the time they're back. 
「Just go sit down, I'll get you something to eat.」
「Sneezy, I'm fine.」
「Your arm?」 
「I've had worse,」 he says, and then giggles. 「Just a flesh wound.」
Gingersnap pokes his head from an attic window. 「Hey guys--that looks bad.」 
「Need a hand? I can loan you one!」 
「Arms for the poor?」 laughs Gingersnap. 
「I'll bite yer legs off!」 
「You fight with the strength of many men, Ranger Chuck.」
Chuckles puffs out his chest. 「'Tis but a scratch!」 
「What're you gonna do, bleed on me?」
「Heaven help me,」 murmurs Siqi, 「they honestly don't know they aren't making sense.」
Silent-As-the-Stars nudges her leg. 
Siqi absently scratched her ears. 「Hey, gorgeous, what d’you think of these nuts?」
Silent-As-the-Stars purrs and walks by, brushing Siqi as would a housecat except with the weight of a snow leopard and nearly pushing her over. She then uses that weight against Chuckles, heaving her front paws onto his shoulders and knocking him to the ground. 
「Hey- the fuck- get off me y’damn hairball!」
Silent-As-the-Stars, believe it or not, did, only to roll Chuckles onto his back and determine he would make the very, very most comfortable spot on which to sun herself.
==Vegemite==
Just because she could, probably, Silent-as-the-Stars kept taking Chuckles' Vegemite-on-toast just as he was about to dig in. 
That night, Chuckles gets food and carries it far, far, away. 
Silent-as-the-Stars gets up, walks a few feet, and lies back down. 
Chuckles retreats further. 
She comes closer. 
Chuckles climbs a tree. 
Silent-as-the-Stars pads over, looks up, glares, huffs, and moves out of sight. 
Chuckles happily starts on his Vegemite-on-toast and then there's a snow leopard bursting through the leaves, knocking him from the branches, landing on her feet, and inhaling his snack. 
When Chuckles remembers how to be, he pushes himself up to sitting and feels sorry for himself. 
"I hear they're not so good with doors," whispers Siqi. 
"FUCK--it's /her fault!" 
"They can jump forty feet, what do you expect?" She pats his shoulder and calls, "Beautiful, he's allowed toast too. And that's not an invitation to throw up on him." 
==Dead People==
not_a_monkey: I'M SURROUNDED BY DEAD PEOPLE
yeung_(TM): complaint noted; measures being taken?
not_a_monkey: u a robt?
yeung_(TM): possibly. 
yeung_(TM): hang on
silent_as_the_stars: yoooooooo 
not_a_monkey: ?
silent_as_the_stars: 5' nothing, glasses, talks to dead people?
not_a_monkey: siqi?
silent_as_the_stars: the fabulous!
not_a_monkey: yer not that quiet tho
silent_as_the_stars: ooooooooooo 
silent_as_the_stars: thats a cat
silent_as_the_stars: a big cat
silent_as_the_stars: not as big as moms 
silent_as_the_stars: (if i evr meet a cat as big as mom's ill flip)
silent_as_the_stars: but big enough to rest comfy on chckles.
not_a_monkey: lotta cats r big enough to rst on chuckles
silent_as_the_stars: errrrrrrrr
silent_as_the_stars: chckles pancake?
not_a_monkey: LOL
silent_as_the_stars: he gets sooooooo pissed ^u^
silent_as_the_stars: now tell me abt dead ppl. 
not_a_monkey: im surrounded
silent_as_the_stars: thr r 50 cats in ths rm aln. 
silent_as_the_stars: u r nt srrnded. 
not_a_monkey: theyre showing up in my sleep?
silent_as_the_stars: in ur dreams or watching u?
silent_as_the_stars: if its tht lst one i wll kck btts. 
silent_as_the_stars: 'cause thts crpy. 
not_a_monkey: dreams
silent_as_the_stars: awwwwwww
silent_as_the_stars: thy wuv yew!!!!!
silent_as_the_stars: buuuuut
silent_as_the_stars: nt th prblm
silent_as_the_stars: im nt ths interstng to ths mny ppl 
silent_as_the_stars: aaaand
silent_as_the_stars: m i only interstng to dead ppl? 
not_a_monkey: k thats creepy and way too accurate for someone i met twice
silent_as_the_stars: nt th frst prsn to thnk ths
silent_as_the_stars: i cme prepared ^u^
==Facefull of Cat==
I'm imagining Chuck being used as a spiritual enforcer. "Go around to this address and convince the cat spirit to stop sleeping on her master's chest. It's freaking the old man out."
Chuck returned from his FIRST assignment with an armful of scratches and a face full of cat. 
""What. Do. I. Do.""
"Um." Siqi fights to keep a straight face. "Well. You could return the cat ...."
"She. Will. Keep. Sleeping."
"Then Chuckles, I suppose you've just got yourself a cat. Until you can train it otherwise." Siqi fishes a toy mouse from her pocket and jingles it. 
"MEROW!"
"FUCK!"
Siqi returns her hand to her pocket. 
The cat goes right through the mouse and tries pawing at it. 
"The fuck did you not do that sooner?"
"Because it was hilarious?" 
Chuck raises his hackles and growls. 
"I will pinch salt at you," she warns. 
Chuck seethes. 
"Anyway, awesome work, Chuckles. Collect thy energy, we have a 'lost persons' agency to finally clear out." 
(It involved Chuck dragging Wandering ghosts from the property while Siqi chatted with a sketch artist and put up a barrier.)
2025 GC Sketch
'Clearing out the lost persons' agency' means Siqi chatting with a sketch artist while Chuckles creams and wallops the small army of Wanderers.
They don't put up much of a fight. Most of them don't seem very aware of their fellows and when Chuckles knocks them down they didn't get up. He just plows through them.
Until that one guy.
That one guy doesn't react on the first punch, nor the second one, turns around after the third, and balloons outwards.
"Uh, Siqi?"
She glances over. "You can take it."
The thing grows an extra pair of limbs and knocks Chuckles clear across the lot.
"SIQI!"
"You're doing great."
The ghost, about four times taller and five times wider than a person, let loose a roar from its somewhat impressive jaws.
"SIQI IT'S GOT TEETH!"
"Less than a Kaiju."
"Kinda lacking, oh, I don't know, A JAEGER?"
"Or a flare gun?"
"NOT MY IDEA!"
She rolls her eyes. "Fine, you wimp." She picks her way back to her car, digs out her portable shrine kit, tears off a chunk of paper, paints something, and burns it.
"Better?"
A ball of smoke gathers in Chuckles' hand and forms into a hanbo ... if it's three times bigger.
"Siqi!"
"Sorry!" She adds something on a mostly unsinged corner.
The hanbo grows to proper size.
"Thank you!"
"You're welcome~."
 
(The sketch artist has worked with Siqi before. In fact, he sorta thinks, if anyone's crazy, it's him.)
==Indigenous==
February 2025
"You're her, ye know." 
"Uh, Chuckold's Indigenous, I'm Australi-ow!" Chuckles rubbed his shin. 
Siqi looks down her nose at him. 
"She's Indigenous and I'm white. Happy?" 
"I'm always happy. Sometimes subdued, but always happy." 
"So how'm I her, exactly?" 
"We're going to meet a set of twins - Dawn and Moon - and you'll figure it out. You'd better, at least."
==Coin Toss==
(2025 March; Cats)
"So, Chuckles, the twins?" 
"Academy wash outs. If they really wanted it, they shoulda tried harder."
"Try as hard as you, perhaps?"
"If that's even possible for anyone else."
"Any other astute observations?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're a Wash, Chuckles."
Up go the hackles. "I /had a Jaeger. Hero of the Breach? I saved the world--" He bit back the last part.
"Exactly." Siqi fishes a coin from her pocket. "Heads or Tails? Heads." She tosses it. "Heads: Chuckles is Chuckles, Wash is Wash. Tails: Chuckles is Wash and Wash is Chuckles." She catches it. "Heads. We already know that, it's why we're sitting here." She tosses it again. "Tails. Chuck Hansen, best and brightest of the Jaeger program, washes out because he's not Compatible. He serves as Squire for Pietr Vos until the latter's retirement and serves out the rest of the war as Doctor Lightcap's Lab Monkey. Chuck Darling, 3rd best score in the Academy, throws Chuck Hansen from the Drift, ending his career. Her hope for a partner is realized in Pietr Vos, however political asscovering removes him from the Conn-pod in favour of Hercules Hansen. They pilot together until the Battle of the Breach when he, in turn, is replaced with Stacker Pentecost. Hercules Hansen loses the daughter he never had and his best friend. Chuckles is Wash, and Wash is Chuckles." 
"Chuckold is me if I hadn't found Pietr." 
"Basically. You're a Wash, just not in this universe." 
Underbrush shuffles, and Newt tumbles into the clearing. "Were you just talking now?" 
"Yup." 
"Anything good?" 
Siqi stands up and stretches. "Multiverse theory. I am gonna have a wicked headache tomorrow."
"Eesh, don't blame you. Tricky stuff, that." 
Siqi neglects to mention that in 98.6% of possible outcomes, Chuck Hansen and Stacker Pentecost end up piloting anyway as Chuck Darling gets injured defending Mimi from cultists ... which opens up a whole host of issues that make Siqi's current project straightforward in comparison. 
That first Drift isn't so much the coin toss as is Pietr Vos; the Drift fails so only one of them is there to meet him. Except there's the possible future where that Drift goes off swimmingly, the three of them are Compatible, and Striker /does get that 3rd arm. The media milks the 'love triangle' for all its worth until Pietr and Griet, and Chuck and Chuck have a double wedding (the latter with a quiet annulment at the ready), and Herc becomes the handler (and caregiver) for a teenager and a twenty-something who only remember they're 'married' at the worst of times and another twenty-something, homesick and longing for the woman he /did marry, but that's the Karloff of possibilities and has its own set of issues. 
And /there's the headache. 
==Boots==
(2025; Cats)
Siqi scrolls through the image search, saving as many pictures of Chuckles' shoes as she can find (she had about 4) 'cause there is NO way she was drawing those. Eventually she has a satisfactory render, ransacked her box of printer-sized joss paper, and made a hard copy of it and a number of other images. 
"Hey, Chuckles, prepare not to have cold feet!" she announces. 
A magazine cover becomes a magazine. 
A paper-doll Drivesuit (because Chuckles wouldn't run off into battle without armour) becomes a whoosy full-sized 2D kit. 
A print-out with multiple views and detailing of Chuck's shoes becomes bits and pieces of shoe which he helpfully gathers and dumps into a burner. 
The render goes last, just in case there was some hope Siqi wouldn't have to do this for every piece of kit. Alas, that's the case and the shoes turns out beautifully. 
Chuckles laces them up with an odd, slightly constipated look on his face, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground. 
Siqi doesn't comment, just cards his hair as she passes him by.
==Kiwibots==
"Chuckles, where the hell did you find a feather butt?" 
"Wasn't--" 
"MEROW!" 
"FUCK!" 
"Gingersnap?" 
"It was already here when I got here." 
Siqi tosses a pen at the feather butt. 
The pen bounces off. 
"It's a living feather butt." 
"I think it's a kiwi," suggests Chuckles, nursing his hand. 
Siqi kneels and offers her hand. "How'd you get this far south?" she coos, scratching the kiwi's head. 
"The bird's from New Zealand, actually," says Gingersnap. 
"How the fuck did a bloody feather butt fly half way across the Pacific?" demands Chuckles. 
"I thought you said it was a 'kiwi'." 
"'like your name better." 
"They can't actually fly," says Gingersnap. 
"Maybe!" Siqi's eyes light up. "Maybe it's a Kaiju Kiwi! They were silicon-based--That's why they were so hard to track!" 
"Don't even joke about that," growled Chuckles. 
Whirling mechanical sounds come from the feather butt. 
The three scrambles away. 
"Son of a pig it's a living robotic feather butt." 
"It's a bloody fucking Kaiju feather butt." 
More whirling sounds. 
Chuckles vanishes. 
Siqi runs inside. 
"Uh, guys?" Gingersnap looks around the empty courtyard. "I'm pretty sure the Kaiju were blue? And not feathery?" 
An attic window slides open, and Siqi hisses, "They're related to dinosaurs you blockhead! RUN!"
==Evil Overlord==
"You have that Look," said Chuckles. 
"What Look?" 
"The Look that says the world's not bowing to you only because 'Evil Overlord' is a hella boring job." 
"I wouldn't be evil, exactly." 
"That Look says otherwise. What're you doing?" 
"Writing down a multiverse." 
"Seems more like a bunch of pictures to me." Chuckles slides a few pages around for a better angle. 
"Don't be trite, Chuckles, it doesn't suit you." 
"Is this ...?" 
"You and Wash kissing on your wedding day? Striker has an arm for each the three of you." 
"We get /married?!" Voice shot up a few octaves there. 
"In a double wedding with the Bees, even though they already were. Biggest media event of the /century- the post-Pitfall press conference, for instance, was a guy on a soap box in comparison. The Royal Wedding, a home video. I'm thinking of just calling it 'Karloff'." 
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Nothing in common with anything else except a name? Please do."
Category:Ficlet
Category:Siqi
Category:Chuck H
Category:Edan
Category:Edan is dead
Category:Chuck H is dead
Category:Siqi is a medium
Category:Gingers, Cats, and Ginger Cats
Category:Coin-flip!UA