Can You Feel My Heart?

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
It's so dark. So hollow and empty. Something should have been here and yet there wasn't. I wish I knew what was meant to be here, in this lonely grey place. Even my scales are a dull washed out grey color here. Grey land and grey skies stretch for miles before me, and behind. To the sides too. I can't just stand here. I have to go somewhere. My mind feels so heavy and muddy. Thoughts seem to sink to the bottom of my skull and get stuck there. Buried before I can see why I thought them. I don't like it here. The grey emptiness is oppressively and so lonely. I'm so lonely. I begin to walk forward. The direction held no importance for me, I just felt as if I had to move. I walked for a very long time, or was it a short time? I can't recall. I felt nothing as I walked. Little emotion and no texture to the ground upon which I walked. The nothingness was strange, yet comforting. I don't know why. I think I liked it. I tried to remember why I was here. It wasn't a pressing matter, but it gave me something to due besides stare at the blank grey world around me. I remembered pain. Searing, burning pain. Fire Inky blackness creeping up my arms, erasing the bright blue of my scales. Why had I been burning? The grey landscape began to incline slightly. I tried harder to remember. Worked to grasp at the memories before they sunk into the murk of my subconscious. The incline flattened out and in the distance I saw something. A red shape, growing closer with every step. As I neared it I could make out a shape. It was a heart, a red beacon in the grey. I momentarily forgot about remembering and focused on the heart. I reached out to touch it, and as I brushed it's smooth surface with my claw color returned to the world. The sky became pale blue, the ground a soft ivory sand. The color returned to my scales too and the murk inside my mind lifted, allowing me to remember things. I was dead. Burned alive in a fire. I'd become trapped while trying to save someone from the fire. They had made it out, I hadn't. I remember that I was trying to fix something I'd done, and I'd thought that saving someone from that fire would atone for whatever I'd done. It still eluded me what I had done and was trying to fix by saving a life, and ending mine. I doubt it matters. Either way I was dead. I cupped the heart, my heart in my talons and held it close to my chest. I don't understand why we were separated, my heart and I. All I do know is that not having it makes the world dark and grey. I much prefer the ivory sand, and pale sky to the grey. 
Category:Content (Isis The Masked Dragon)
Category:Fanfictions
Category:Fanfictions (Fanon)
Category:Genre (Short Story)
Category:Males
Category:SeaWings