Ristar 1.9: Ristar is Homophobic and that is bad

= Overview =
Ristar 1.9 originally came out 30 years after Ristar 2. It’s goal was to flesh out the plot of Ristar 2, most of which was unexplained.
Some of the things the game explains are where the crystal shards came from in more detail, why Ristar is homophobic, and more.
= Plot =
== Chapter 1: Sin’s Beginning ==
A long time ago in Winslow, Arizona
Ristar: ah what a beautiful day in winslow arizona my place of birth
Ristar’s Dad: hello son
Ristar: hi dad
Ristar’s dad: i hate the gays
Ristar: me too
Ristar’s dad: ristar you see my friend smokes cigarettes 
Ristar: wow dad you’re so cool
Ristar dad: son you gotta stop kissing my ass you’re too old for that now
Ristar: shut up im 6
Ristar’s dad: yes son, years old.
Ristar: dad where’s mom
Ristar’s dad: ristar your mom was a bitch and a whore and a rocker, dont mention her name around me ever again
Ristar: yeah you bet she was dad, a bitch and a whore and a rocker through and through
Ristar’s dad: that’s right son, here have some alcohol
(he hands him a galon of alcohol)
Ristar: wow thanks wait dad this is empty
Ristar’s dad: oh sorry son i drak it all
Ristar: yeah me too dad
Ristar’s dad: son i like dog fighting and killing hookers
Ristar: me too dad, i do that every day
Ristar’s dad: you know american psycho?
Ristar: yes
Ristar’s dad: that’s like what im like
Rsiatar: wow dad thats so cool
Ristar’s dad: son i invented cancer
Ristar: pancreatic cancer?
Ristar’s dad: especially pancreatic cancer
Ristar: nice i love cancer
Ristar’s dad: pancreatic cancer?
Ristar: especially pancreatic cancer
(the sky darkens and lightning strikes all around)
Ristar’s dad: hm what is this
???: attention residents of earth i am Kaiser Lusty. I am here to control this planet! Just try and stop me!
Ristar: dad what’s happening
Ristar’s dad: ristar get inside and stay there
Ristar: why dad?
Ristar’s dad: just do what i say! I have to go stop this Kaiser Lusty from hurting anyone.
Ristar: i dont want to go inside i want to go with you! I can help you !
Ristar’s dad: no ristar you cant. I need you to stay safe this is something i must do alone
Ristar: no dad dont leave ill be all by myself!
(Ristar’s dad glances at ristar who is now crying, or almost at least)
Ristar’s dad: ill see you again ristar i promise
(he shoots up into the sky towards Kaiser Lusty’s ship in orbit)
Ristar: one day ill be just like my dad.
== Chapter 2: Bet on Gay ==
10 years later
(A 16 year old ristar is seen packing in his room. He hears a knock at the door.)
Ristar: oh man i hope its not cilantro i hate him
(he opens the door to cilantro)
Cilantro: hey ristar just wanted to say goodbye before you head off to new york city
Ristar: wow thanks actually since im never gonna see you again i might as well tell you that i hate you
Cilantro: yeah you’ve told me before many times
Ristar: whatever
Cilantro: i brought you a gift
Ristar: keep it to yourself
Cilantro: it’s a gallon of alcohol
Ristar: hm i have never got to taste a gallon of alcohol
Cilantro: here you go
Ristar: uh thanks, hey wait this is empty! Is this some kind of sick joke?
Cilantro: oh sorry i must have drank it all
Ristar: you know you remind me of my dad but you’re gay
Cilantro: is that why you hate me? Because you’re homophobic?
Ristar: yes
Cilantro: why? Wait let me guess.. Your dad?
Ristar: yes he was homophobic
Cilantro: oh ristar, even though it’s been 10 years since your dad disappeared you’re still just as naive
Ristar: my dad didn’t disappear he went to save the galaxy from kaiser lusty
Cilantro: maybe he did but he’s not here now. Perhaps if he had never left you would have matured better
Ristar: i think about that every day
Cilantro: hopefully new york will be an eye opening experience 
Ristar: i think my eyes are already open
Cilantro: one day you’ll realize
Ristar: realize what?
Cilantro: dont worry about it, just go to new york and forget about me
Ristar: uh damn
(cilantro leaves)
Ristar: hm
== Chapter 3: Emerald Greed and Fuschia Lust ==
5 years later, in new york city
(ristar is seen waking up in his bed, the apartment is a mess and the window is cracked)
Ristar: ah what a terrible day in new york
(the sky darkens and lightning strikes all around)
Ristar: oh god! The gay agenda!
???: hello citizens of earth my name is Kaiser Greedy! 
Ristar: Kaiser Greedy? Like Kaiser Lusty?
Kaiser Greedy: many years after one of your people defeated my brother Kaiser Lusty, i have returned to conquer this galaxy starting with the puny planet that was my brother’s demise
Ristar: Kaiser Lusty was defeated? I knew my dad saved the galaxy all those years back!
Kaiser Greedy: prepare for your demise!
Ristar: what is this feeling? Im getting all tingly? I feel a sense of determination. I know what i must do. This is my chance to prove that i can be just like my father.
(Ristar looks up and shoots into the sky, straight through the roof of the apartment building.)
== Chapter 4: Darkness Falls ==
1 year later 
(Ristar wakes up in a lavish apartment, there are women all around)
Ristar: ah what a great day in new york
(he hears a knock at the door)
Ristar: hm i wonder who that could be
(he pushes through all the women to get to the door)
Cilantro: hey is this ristar’s pla- oh hey it’s you.
Ristar: you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me
Cilantro: yeah uh hey ristar how’s it going
Ristar: well ever since i saved the galaxy my life has been amazing
Cilantro: that’s good i just wanted to see how you’ve been
Ristar: well that’s kind but i figured you forgot about me
Cilantro: how could i forget about you
Ristar: i don’t know i just thought that you probably hated me
Cilantro: i never hated you ristar i-
(ristar’s phone starts ringing very loudly)
Ristar: uh i gotta take this
Cilantro: yeah go ahead
(he answers it)
Ristar: hello?
???: Hello is this ristar?
Ristar: yes who is this?
???: yes hello this is steve jobs
Ristar: creator of the xbox??
Steve Jobs: Co-creator of the xbox yes
Ristar: oh man im a huge fan i have an xbox
Steve Jobs: yes very cool look this is sort of urgent
Ristar: ok what’s up?
Steve Jobs: it’s kind of hard to explain you just need to get out here
Ristar: where?
Steve Jobs: come to the center of town in the subway you will find me
Ristar: okay im on my way- sorry cilantro this is urgent i have to go
Cilantro: oh uh okay see you or not
(Ristar goes to the center of town and down to the subway)
Steve: hello ristar it’s good to finally meet you
Ristar: yes nice to meet you. So what’s going on?
Steve: follow me
(steve leads him to a vending machine. He punches a few of the buttons and the vending machine opens revealing a secret entrance)
Ristar: wow you’re right this was urgent
Steve: no that’s not it we just needed a secret way to hide what we found
(they go through the secret entrance which leads to a series of caves)
Steve: ok we’re almost there
Ristar: hey look a frog!
(ristar pets the frog leaving some stardust on his forehead)
Steve: let’s keep moving
(they reach a tent that seems to have been set up for a temporary base)
Steve: come in
(they go inside the tent and there’s another man inside)
???: you must be ristar
Ristar: oh my god and you’re-!
???: Bo Xbox, co creator of the Xbox at your service.
Ristar: wow im such a fan i have an xbox
Bo Xbox: thank you for your money
Steve: ok now we need to show you what we found
(they go through the other side of the tent)
Ristar: oh my god what is that
Steve: not exactly sure but i have a good idea
(in the middle of the cave, there is a large floating crystal)
Ristar: it almost looks like there’s someone inside… and they look like me!
Steve: now you realize why i called you here, inside there appears to be someone who looks like you but dark
Ristar: interesting how did you find this?
Steve: do you remember the storm that occured when you came back after saving the galaxy?
Ristar: the silent storm? When all that lighting struck around the city but there was no thunder?
Steve: yes lighting struck this exact area but there was no visible damage or anything, so i investigated and found these caves
Ristar: so what do you think it is?
Steve: well ristar, many years ago i knew a man, a scientist, and we worked on a project with another man that you remind me of, in fact a lot of men that remind me of you. That project went terribly wrong and my science colleague died. And there were some crystals that shattered into many shards, 100 maybe, and were scattered all over the multiverse. For some reason it seems that most of, possibly all, of those shards have gathered here in this cave. 
Ristar: then who is the person inside?
Steve: i have no idea
(all of the sudden the large crystal starts dripping a mysterious purple liquid.)
Bo: what is that?
Steve: it appears to be some kind of mysterious purple liquid
(the liquid starts to pool under the crystal. The frog ristar pet earlier starts to hop closer to the liquid. He jumps in and appears to melt in it)
Ristar: oh no the frog!
Steve: i think we should stay away from that liquid
(all of the sudden the frog comes out of the liquid but is dark)
Ristar: oh good he looks like he’s okay
Steve: i dont think that is the same frog ristar, it looks changed
Ristar: you’re right it doesnt have any stardust on it and looks quite different so it’s probably different
Bo: that’s incredibly interesting! I need to get a sample of this!
(Bo starts to walk closer to the liquid)
Steve: uh bo i dont think that’s a good idea
Bo: ill be careful im just gonna get a little sample
(when bo gets close to the liquid and leans down to get a sample the dark frog pushes him in)
Steve: NO BO
Ristar: oh lord he went completely in
(a new Bo rises from the liquid laughing)
Bo?: AHAHHAAH what’s up you heteros!
Steve: bo what happened to you?
Bo?: who is bo? My name is Dark Bo Xbox
Ristar: Dark Bo?
Dark Bo: that’s right heteros!
Steve: why does he keep calling us heteros?
Ristar: i dont know
Dark Bo: now im going to kill you!
Steve: oh no i thought something like this might happen! Follow me ristar!
(they run back into the tent and Dark Bo chases after them. Steve presses a big button and loud explosions are heard all around)
Steve: i rigged the cave to explode we need to get out of here now
(they run to the exit as the cave is collapsing all around them. Dark Bo grabs ristar leg but he shakes him free. A bunch of boulders fall onto Dark Bo and he’s turned to purple mush. Ristar and steve make it to the vending machine exit and the subway back onto the streets. A big flash of light flashes in front of them.)
Steve: im glad we made it out alive
(they look up and see all the crystal shard fly into the sky. Several of them fall around ristar and steve jobs’ feet.)
Steve: im gonna take the shards back to my lab for testing.
Ristar: ok im gonna go home and chill out
Steve: yeah ill probably do that too
Ristar: it’s a shame about Bo
Steve: yeah im gonna miss him
(a normal looking frog with stardust on his forehead hops near ristar.)
Ristar: oh hey buddy looks like you’re alive after all. How’d you make it out? Guess you’re one tough frog.
The End
Category:Games