Wade Wilson

"text.  Honestly just text.  It was the default quote when my character page was made and it's perfect.  Perfect I tell you!"
Character Stat Sheet
==Public Information==
Hey, I'm sorta wondering whether this should be in character or not but since it's what you would know about me as a character I guess it's not.
Anyways, Deadpool is a mercenary of ill repute known for being an excellent fighter but of extremely disturbing vernacular.  He constantly babbles nonsense and treats existence like a game.  Extremely short attention spanned, Deadpool is a product of the Weapon X project and a mercenary for hire.  He thinks that existence is a cheap thrill, and worth little more than a mad laugh.  A madman who claims that he's a comic book character played in an electronic roleplay forum, Wade is guilty of having extremely specific and narrowly tailored delusions broken up by the very episodic bout of applicable knowledge of events that by all means he should have no remote way of knowing which gets passed over due to his insanity and nature.  Somehow able to transit both worlds by self-proclaimed 'MU* Staff Fiat Yo', Deadpool is dangerous in both realms and not particularly well liked, if only tolerated by the talent he displays at violence.
Anyways, going off wikipedia Wade Wilson is a Canadian hockey play..  Oh, wait, stupid name association.  Well Wade Wilson is the zombie voodoo mercenary known as T-Ray..  Wait, that's another Wade Wilson.  Huh, it's a really common name!  Anyways, Wade Winston Wilson is a Canadian Army trooper and mercenary known for being generally thuggish and a bully.  From a military family, Wade's actions may have contributed heavily to the accidental death of his father for which he blamed himself, which lead to his loutish behavior becoming increasingly worse.  He was shortly after diagnosed with cancern and left the woman he was engaged to.  Since then, he was last heard of as a voluntary subject of the Weapon X facility.  And then someone else took over his solo title and Wade was too lazy to update his background to the latest writer.  So we're stuck with Nieceza!
==Background==
In West Philadelphia, born and raised, in a playground was where I spent most of my days.. Oh, wait, I have to write my actual background? What do you mean I can't use this one? Oh, wait, that's the Fresh Prince's. Still, #$#! you Rumble! :(
Ahem. Deadpool is from the land of beavers, moose, and rabid hockey fans with no sense of direction. Yes, it's Canada folks! Anyways, Wade Winston Wilson had.. Huh, I guess I am speaking a bit much in third person. Well, given as I look over my Comicvine history, it says my early background isn't very well known, so I'll make some stuff up! Anyways, Wade's dad was in the Canadian army (People who say 'Ehh' a lot). Wade was one of those kids who everyone thought would grow up to become just like one of those kids in a Matt Judge cartoon. He got into accidents, played stupid pranks, and had a high pitched, nasallay laugh over like Fran Dreschner. He didn't do well in school, and while an athletic kid was constantly beaten up by the chess team. Okay! I was a wuss. So I slashed their tires and set their pets on fire and TP'd their houses on Halloween. Anyways, my mom died from cancer when I was in my teens, and I became more of a problem child!
After my mom died, I went to Quebec sometime after they were rioting as something to do with the Habs. While there, I made fun of a lot of the Quebecois for being 'cheese eating surrender monkeys' and set things on fire. After I was arrested, I was given the option of joining the United States army or 'straighten up or ship out'. This is what you get from having American writers do a Canadian character kids and engage in stereotypes of people of the great north! Anyways, in the United States Army, my predilection for making fun of the weak and abused got me noticed, and I became a part of special forces. Where they kicked me out as I was a loser!
So I went back home, and then Nieceza retconned my origin. This is what you get when you have a lot of writers changing things at different times! Just pick and choose. Anyways, according to ~Nieceza~ I had a big fight with my dad in a bar and we left off really upset with one another. My dad wanted to have me make something of myself, but also said regardless he was proud of me. I said I hated him. He was run over by a car before I said I was sorry driven by one of my drunken friends. Or maybe it was an origin story in Star Trek. I could be wrong.
So, I went back stateside and became a mercenary. Since apparently that's what all ex special forces guys do. Instead of taking cushy jobs for Haliburton or getting consulting gigs. I also spent some time as a sumo wrestler purely to setup a fat joke later in continuity. Anyways, I met this hot mutant blue girl shapeshifting hooker named Vanessa. She was really sweet. And jailbait. But don't tell Wild Thing!
Anyways, one of my missions was kidnapping a British World War 2 intelligence operative whom I call Blind Al who I ended up locking in a box in the basement. Even though she had a box of scraps she did not build an Iron Man suit. In disappointment, I left her there ever since.
Anyways, this is the point Wade's life starts to suck. I'm the Yellow Box, and I'll be taking over narrating duties. Anyways, Wade ended up contracting a mysterious, incurable form of cancer that was due to kill him within months. Not wanting anyone to be dependent upon him or mourn him, Wade cut his ties with everyone who cared about him, including his girlfriend. His terminal illness had him developing a Death Wish (hey, awesome name for a rock band - it actually is) which would later ironically prolong the rest of his life. He was given a chance of staying alive and hope by a department of the Canadian Military called Department K, which saved his life by giving him a healing factor derived from Wolverine's. Yeah, the big hairy gal. Oh, wait, guy. Sorry, typo.
So, going on now with things. Wade was in the Weapon X Program. Which really sucks as a name for a super secret Canadian special forces team. Why did Canada have so many anyways? It's not like they had a great military budget in the first place. To take care of maraudering supervillain moose? Anyways, while on one mission Wade killed someone on his team who had a suckier name than he did, and was kicked off the team. He was sent to somewhere called 'the Hospice' for treatment. Sanity issues. What Weapon X didn't know was that the Hospice was a grim facility used for human experimentation projects by the sinister (not Mister Sinister) Doctor Killebrew and his assistant Beaker.. No, wait, Ajax. Anyways, I mean, Doctor KILLEBREW? You'd have thought that wound ring alarm bells in HR.
While there, Wade was dumped in a pit with the other experimental subjects. There, they were given no food, and their only interaction with the outside world was when the guards would come to grab one of them for the sinister beer doctor's experiments. While starving, cannibalism was rampant. Well, that and poor hygiene. The only thing the patients could do to pass the time was make bets on who would be the next one to leave the room and die. Hence, the Deadpool. Awesome foreshadowing right?
Anyways, the beer doctor performed mad science experiments upon me and the other patients. Or did I do that in my last background section? But, what happened is as he tortured me, messing with my healing factor to see how much pain I could take, I was visited by a goddess. A pale diva, a lady of pale skin, dark hair, and with an ankh. She was so gorgeous.. She whispered that she would take me in the end, and I would have peace. I would be with her forever, and her family. She was Death. And she was the beginning and the end. Wade.. I.. We.. We wanted to just be with her for all time. And we would be.
But that $##@! Killebrew Sorry, language censor wouldn't let us die. He kept on leaving me alive. No matter what. Then the people in the room said it was cheating to kill myself to win the pool! Stupid technicality. But, I had ideas. I taunted Ajax by heckling him again and again. To get me to stop, he critically injured my miniature buddy Worm to the point of Death. I killed Worm, to let him join in Death's embrace and end his pain. The penalty for killing another prisoner was execution, so sweet deal right?? RIGHT?
Anyways, I had all sorts of awesome adventures as a mercenary dude. Among them was meeting my girlfriend at the time (well, my ex, though she was blue now and I didn't know she was my ex-girlfriend) Copycat who turned into different chicks to bang me as she was a stalker, and teaming up with Bullseye and Taskmaster to form BROFORCE. Okay, we may have called it something different, but I worked with those guys a lot. So Did your Mom. Don't see her complaining bout it! Quoted for Truth
I had a bond with those two guys 'cuz they were awesome. I spent years as a nutty powered mercenary gaining a reputation for being the best in the business At annoying Wolverine and having all sorts of sweet stuff happen. Everyone knows who I am In this case a seriously ill professional who thinks he's a reporter on the Colbert Report who can't be subtle to save his life and I'm the best there is at what I do. And I'm prettier than Wolverine! I had all sorts of nutty adventures and random people emitting me or making silly jokes about me in scenes of how insane I was. I also met this cool dude named T-Ray who took me in off the streets, but I got bored so I killed him in front of his wife, who had him raised from the dead Voodoo style later on. Or something.
Anyways, there I was, about to be reunited with my patron, Death. We would be together forever.. But there was this guy Thanos who thought that exterminating reality was a way to pick up chicks, and he wanted to bone her HAH, get it so he cursed me with immortality. Or maybe it was just the chalupas. But there I was, clawing my way out of the ground just like Spider-Man at the end of Kraven's Last Hunt! I went back and got my revenge. And stuff. T-Ray and I fought one another for the rights to the name of Wade Wilson, then we both agreed that we had a right to it. I think I may have killed him, but things were rather fuzzy. So, I guess it really depends what writer you prefer.
But, anways, my thirst for VENGEANCE was stronger. As my heart was torn out and I was left in a pile of corpses for dead, my healing factor kicked in. My body transformed, spasming and rewriting my genetic data with the cancer CANCERCANCERCANCER as I was healed. So I charged out, killing Ajax and Killebrew, the guards.. And let the surviving dozens of metahuman experimental subjects who had been driven insane by experimentation, cannibalism, and isolation into the Canadian wilderness. Which may have /not/ been the best idea. Joined by my awesome yellow boxes, I took the name Deadpool and went on a course of ADVENTURE!
So, after dealing with T-Ray in a vague enough way to use it for later plot and/or roleplay hooks, I was at a crossroads No, that was trying to run across Times Square during rush hour. I went to work again on and off with other mercenaries, doing annoying things.  I ran into Copycat again.  She was on the run from Weapon X.  For old time's sake, I helped her.  I failed.  It was my fault.  I..  I'm sorry Vanessa.  It was my fault.  I could have saved you.  I failed.  You died because of me.  Because I wasn't a good enough man but you loved me anyways.  The voice box would like to note that there is crying now and it's making the computer start to bleed and the keyboard is fritzy and sticky and oh Stan Lee you don't want to know what it's got on it.
I went after Weapon X.  I failed.  There, you happy?  I'm having an eighties retro here!  I was all grim and brooding and making references to KISS and..  Oh, wait, sorry, wrong continuity.  Anyways, during my emo phase I ran over into Typhoid Mary.  I was hurting.  She was cuckoo.  She messed me in the head.  That's something I don't say about many women.  Also at some point after this things over from Daniel Wade's run happened and Loki made my face look like a movie star who was a parody of the Scientology couch guy.  According to his sheet I tried to nuke my face with a nuclear fuel rod and was run over by a train before he got bored and said that I wasn't Luke and he wasn't my father.  REVENGE WILL BE MINE TREBEK!
Also I have this old lady who was a WW2 hero that I kidnapped and locked in the basement of the DeadHutt that I call Blind Al and a minion named Weasel who cries when I say things about 4chan.  They're sorta cool.  Weasel is a stooge though.  I taped over his Battlestar Enterprise with Golden Girls and he mentally broke.  Blind Al is a big meaniepooh when she wears a maid outfit.
Also I really should think about going to Xavier's.  Xavier's Malt Liquer, bunch of honeys over eightteen, being able to emasculate Logan.  Hmm.  What do I have to do to get on an X-Spinoff?
Also there was a thing with the world's merging!  And I've totally gotta figure out what I was up to during it.  But I'm at the point where I have to stop cribbing from my app and write stuff that's new dangit!  Okay, in 2013 there was a thing where the worlds merged - like the dude that goes I'm a Marvel, and I'm a DC.  But with Superfriends quality animation!  I was up to explosions, nonsense, and chaos over it.  You can be sure of that!  Sure a doodly.  Because I'm being lazy and non-explicit since I'm not mentioned on the timeline so I don't have to bother with giving content!
Also after the Worlds stopped exploding and I was apped as a character I totally asked if I could be a both and they were like okay sure, so I get to go over to the other world and use the knowledge from this here wiki to sneak over there.  I've done it a few times.  They kicked me out.  But I'll be back!  And soon they all shall know the name..  HARVY THE WONDER HAMSTER!
Wait!  STOP DOING THAT VOICES.  They shall know the name..  DEADPOOL!  Duh because it's in your wiki page.  SHADDUP.  This BG is long enough and scrolling already so ending it. 
==Personality==
From the psychiatric files of Doctor Bong
Deadpool's base form of insanity seems to stem outwardly in appearance in his treatment of the outside world as being artificial in nature. I would deem it a coping mechanism from the horrors of how exactly he was created, and an outward method of denial. By inwardly deeming the outside world being of an artificial nature, Deadpool can inwardly deny the horrors that he has suffered as well as escape consequence of his actions. One might say he ironically has a very strong sense of conscience that otherwise would be overwhelmed by his actions, and this outward denial of everything and his treatment of residing within a fictional realm allows him to bypass the issues of his conscience and the horrors that he continuously has inflicted upon others and himself.
Psychiatric Notes Continued:
Deadpool's mind is in a constant state of flux and regeneration. His body is continuously disintegrating thanks to his cancer, and continuously regenerating at the same moment. Thus, he is in a state of constant internal torture. This ultimately brings itself to a death wish. Deadpool has strong suicidal tendencies in which he wants little more than to kill himself. And yet he cannot die, which leads to more escalating behavior to try and bring about his own demise.
Notes Continued:
Perhaps the most surprising discovery in my subjection of Deadpool was how much he is driven by both his self-hatred and his conscience. Deadpool cares. He cares too much. About particularly children and women or those who are close to him emotionally. He also hates himself and believes himself a monstrocity and does not wish for anyone to become close to him as they would suffer emotional scarring. Much of his behavior in turn becomes further exaggerated should he believe someone be close to him, as he would want to try and strongly alienate them. I think that with proper emotional support and grounding his nature could be greatly stabilized. As well as should someone learn this and in turn play at growing emotionally close to him and then betray him he would have his psyche shattered totally. Hmm, how much is Advanced Idea Mechanics paying?
Notes, Final Entry
Deadpool, for all his outward humor, is defined by anger. Anger at himself, anger at what he has done, and anger at how he has been treated. This is only subtly apparent, but subject is at his most dangerous when he is outwardly angry. When his humor shines away, he is at his most outward brutal. His humor is only a coping mechanism of denial, the outward externality of his own particular unique kind of schizophrenia. But it is anger that drives Deadpool more than anything else. And should one earn his true anger, then I believe there is little that would stop him from continuously going after whatever it is and ending it in his best possible way.
==Logs==
* 2014-08-18 - Morality Play in Black - A morality play in black, white, and red. Laura Kinney proves that she is not what the Faculty made her to be.
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Category:Earth-24800 Character
Category:Altered Humans
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Category:Regenerative Healing