Friends of the Hammer

This game was the reason that the Earlham Green Adventurer's Guild initially congregated.
==Characters==
===Dungeon Master===
*JA
===Player Characters===
*Ahri
*Alec Shieldheart
*Byobiir
*Chester Dashing
*Porthos The Vain
*Slavine
*Tharivol Galanodel, Cleric of Sheverash
===Player Companions===
*Alec's minions
**Fabrizio
**Miguel
**Enrique
**Pablo
**Guillermo
*Gary (aka War-Gary)
*Tristan
===NPCs===
*Alastair Shieldheart
*The Harper Gnomes
*Captain Llast & Llast Company
*The Knights in Silver
*Adagio the Wizard
===Foes===
*The Black Dragon
*The Cult of the Black Dragon
*The Swamp Witches
==Plot==
Chapter One: The Road to Waterdeep
The party are huddled in a circle around a small table in Baldur's Gate inn the Fiveways when a clumsy, drunken dwarf nudges Porthos' arm, causing him to spill his drink, and very nearly resulting in a full on brawl. Luckily, the interjection of travelling companions Byobiir, Chester and Alec calms him as the dwarf and his companion stumble out into the night, and the buoyant spirit of the night has almost returned by the time the landlord rings for time, casing yet another cloud over the valiantly drinking party.Nevertheless, with the beer no longer flowing, the troupe are leaving the Inn when they hear a scream in the darkness. Following a fresh trail of blood, they find a crypt containing the corpse of a young woman and two zombies. Vanquishing the undead, the crew find a magic amulet with a note directing them to a local jeweller. Arriving at the jeweller's, they find it has been broken into by hoodlums and the proprieter killed! After avenging the death of the innocent shopkeeper, they are stumbled upon by the local Watch. Chester of House Dashing, a renowned Paladin, surrenders to the lawmen, disclosing everything about the amulet and the recent events. His honesty and piety cause the watchmen to allow the band to take the amulet to its intended destination, a wizard in the town of Daggerford.The journey starts uneventfully, but before long they encounter a caravan set alight by a party of kobolds! Rescuing the hapless gnomes inside, they learn of a large group of kobolds wearing the sigil of a black dragon in the nearby forest. Biobyr, half-elven Ranger, tracks the villains to their lair and they are defeated, allowing our heroes to return the gnomes' prized steel wool to them. The gnomes set off for Waterdeep, promising a reward should they find themselves in the city. Our heroes arrive in Daggerford without further incident. Upon visiting the wizard's tower, however, they find that it has been sealed off by the City Watch as it has been taken over by evil creatures! Our heroes, lead by the intrepid Alec Shieldheart of the New Hampshire Shieldhearts, fight their way up 6 levels of enemies, knocking at every door and defeating orcs, goblins and centipedes - oh my! At the 7th level, an elemental orb appears to guard the final ascent and is duly defeated, allowing our heroes to pass. The band learn from the wizard that the amulet is an evil relic, and was destined to be sent to Waterdeep so that the Harpers there could destroy it. Porthos, a young but talented elven sorceror, takes the burden of the cursed item upon himself once more for the journey onward. Upon leaving Waterdeep, they are joined by the half-brother of Biobyr, an elven cleric by the name of Tharivol, who aims to help the team in their quest. They travel for a day along the road before they meet the hapless gnomes once more, their caravan once more beset by goblins. Revealing themselves to be agents of the Harpers, they give our heroes information about a hag controlling large portions of the nearby swamps, as well as a base nearby containing more dragon cultists. Aiming to finish the job they started, the team chase the cultists to a cave system, vanquishing the orcish and undead guards before besting an ogre guardian, fighting their way into the living quarters and finally, the inner sanctum.The sight before them is fearsome. At least a dozen goblins are worshipping at an altar, accompanied by a massive ogre. Biobyr and Alec start attacking the goblins in the rear ranks, before Chester, heedless of his own safety and his comrades' concerns, filled with righteous zeal, charged straight for the ogre leading the enemies. Porthos' spellcraft cripples the enemy numbers with sleep, but not before Chester is overwhelmed by goblins. The ogre hits him with a massive, final blow and Chester is felled, left to die. Enraged at their comrade's death, Biobyr and Alec fell legions of goblins, and when Porthos inflicts sleep on the enemy ogre, Alec steps forward to dispatch him, avenging their fallen friend. However, the aftermath reveals untold wealth: gems, potions and an artifact bow imbued with holy power, which upon reaching Waterdeep they sell to raise funds to resurrect Chester and significantly increase their combat effectiveness. Now poised to deliver the amulet to the Harpers, their Paladin ally snatched from the jaws of death, our adventurers await the next stage of their journey...
Chapter Two: Enter the Dragon
Brief summary - needs rewriting
Arena & Black Dragon (THARIVOL gets a ultra cool bow and becomes super deadly healy killer) (also owl bears, 4 because tharivol has a big mouth and 2 wasnt enough. we still kicked their arses. last fight was against drow, and their sorcerer had way cool spells. THEIR sorcerer. Ignore their cleric.)
Harpers (they dont want the amulet) I forget who offered the amulet to them, but they say "errrr no we're okay thanks! we dont want it!"
(Tharivol is the leader ;D ) Heading towards swamp, Biobyr notices a path deviating from the beaten track leading towards the swamp. Tharivol, in his infinite wisdom (geddit?) decides, as TEAM LEADER, that the team should follow it NO MORE ARGUMENTS OR people telling him he's taking too long! Anyway... Get to the swamp, come across lizards with monitor lizards (like kimodos) we win, and porthos sleeps a lizard and we interrogate it and it tells us that the hags have trolls for babies. Also green fight purple, and purple fight green.
Find tower with magic stones, porthos has trouble getting through, we all carry on forward to have a gander at the tower, gary non-chalantly trots past porthos as he struggles to keep walking, Eventually porthos makes it through the magical barrier.
Climb tower, each level has cool stuff WAR GARY IS SUMMONED!!!!!!!
dragon statues, middle one gives porthos magic boost next room full of undead i think?
Flashes of past and stuff Chesty Dashing
Fight tentacley viney thing, Tharivol has some amazing shots
Alec shieldheart kills everyone and everything ever. Probably not for the last time.
Chapter Three: Back From the Dead
"The ritual iss compleete"Alec, Chester, Porthos and Tharivol waken to find themselves in a strange tent and, much to their general astonishment, much more alive than they were at last count. The sound of a peculiar serpentine voice continues in the corner as they adjust themselves to their new realities. Nearby, a more familiar voice replies. Biobyr, having survived his impromptu vertical plummet, is addressing the shape in the corner about something which no-one is yet conscious enough to quite understand."How long was I out?" asks Alec Shieldheart, of the New Hampshire Shieldhearts, stretching and attempting to hide his morning wood."About ten days" comes the reply, as Biobyr gestures to the mysterious figure. "Slivene here and her people brought you back after the battle. It's taken this long just to get you all back.""Ten days?" This from Tharivol, who seems frankly astonished at the passage of time. "I could have sworn it was only a handful of hours. It couldn't have been that long."On his mat, Porthos sits up, obviously puzzled. Eight years in limbo has warped his understanding of reality, and some peculiar force seems to have him staying close to the ground, instead of drifting off as he rightfully should.Slivene moves further forwards to check on her patients. As she gives the still silent Chester a quick once over, Porthos peers, brow furrowed, at his hands as he slowly attempts to pass them through each other. Slithene continues around the group, and upon ensuring that each person is definitely once more alive, greets them [in whichever way you think's appropriate Amy].As they reacquaint themselves with each other, Biobyr begins to explain what she has discovered in their absence. [You know what to do Stace].Eventually, introductions and explanations made, the party, now with a notable increase of one in the lizardfolks department, saddles up and prepares once more to hit the road. They head on through the swamp and rejoin the path heading [something]wards to Daggerford, adjusting to the new party dynamic as they travel. As the hours pass, even Porthos seems to move past his basic inability to remember to navigate solid objects and readjust to the idea of gravity and joins the conversation."So where were you, then?" asks Tharivol, matching the party's new leader Alec stride for pompous stride.[Guys, whack in a quick explanation of where you were for how long and shit. Would Chester mention not being accepted into heaven? Could just mention where he was but in a non-conversationy way sort of thing].As night falls, the party prepares to rest. However, the night's sleep is a fitful one, as each person is visited in turn by the apparition of the hags, attempting to tempt them with a book emblazoned on the front with an image of the black dragon. By the time they arrive in Daggerford the next morning, all but Tharivol and Alec are showing the signs of fatigue, and so decide to find somewhere to catch up on their sleep.After the party is mostly rested, they head at once to the tower of Adagio, the wizard who sent them on that fool's errand to Waterdeep for no reward. Climbing the tower, they find the room exactly as they had left it, with the spellcaster himself perched at a table in the middle, poring over some arcane text or other. As they greet him, he looks up and smiles. "[OK how have I forgotten the specific phrase. I think it was] Hey, how can I help you?"Approaching him, Chester explains the situation as it has unfolded, paying particular attention to the lack of financial compensation which the journey to Waterdeep has provided. Seeing him unswayed by Chester's normally golden tongue, Alec steps in on a more agressive tack. This, however, is met with even less success as Adagio fades away and instead the adventurers find themselves confronted by two stone gargoyles. It is quickly and effectively dispatched by Porthos, Biobyr, Tristan and Alec, the former pair using their magical flames to destroy one gargoyle as the other is despatched by the proud warrior Shieldheart, smashing the body as it lays prone, tripped by the dog at his side.As soon as these two monsters are destroyed, Adagio reappears at his table. Somewhat angrily, the team confronts him. The wizard himself simply looks up and smiles."Hey, how can I help you?"Alec, a little taken aback by the nonchalant, almost smug dismissal of their encounter not moments ago, explains the situation with the talisman yet again. Eschewing the demand for money, this time he requests assistance camouflaging the item in question. The wizard's eyes light up at this, and promising to help, he heads on over to the bookcase and begins examining titles on the shelf.Moments pass, and it becomes apparent that the wizard is no longer paying attention to the other occupants of the room. Alec heads over and attempts to hurry him. As he approaches, the wizard looks up and smiles."Hey, how can I help you?"Becoming more infuriated, Alec yet again explains the situation. This time, the wizard grins and replies that he actually has the solution to their problem about his person. Reaching into his robes, he pulls out a non-descript jewellery box and hands it to the party leader, promising that its enchantments will shield against magical detection. In the meantime, Chester, who has obviously been puzzling over something, appears to reach a conclusion. Darting forwards, he clenches a fist, and swiftly lashes out at the wizard. As soon as his hand reaches Adagio's face, however, he disappears, as does the box."An illusion" curses the paladin, Spinning around and smashing the table in his fury. Porthos senses the magic emanating from the shards of table, which has obviously been host to the enchantment conjuring the image of the tower's owner. In a rage, he unleashes a cone of fire from his fingertips at the wall, igniting the collection of exotic tomes, and the party storms downstairs in a rage.
Chapter Four: Pretty sure some more stuff happened here
Ummm. Will get to this later.
Chapter Five: The Knights of the Purple Dragon
After their tenuous victories in days past, the group found themselves with some time to spare. Returning to spend their downtime in the moderately lavish comfort of the once-glorious Shieldheart estate, they once again united with Alaistair in a meeting of great minds.While they waited for Alaistair to tell them what to do, the party took the chance to stock up on some much needed bling, in the form of rings and gauntlets, as well as a wand for the useless cleric. The treacherous swine Biiobir also lobbied for money for an upgrade to her sword, but was justly denied. To that end she has started stockpiling money instead of giving it to the treasurer, which is utterly selfish behaviour which shows a lack of depth of character which would make her, for example, a terrible leader.As they drank their way through a sizable portion of their remaining gold, they were joined in the bar by some hideous slimy rocky plantmonster mess. Displaying a pigheaded unwillingness to leave, the creature followed them as they left the bar.Returning to home base, (swamp-thing-lite in tow) they found Alistair awaiting, a veritable font of information which honestly the gang probably should have been able to uncover themselves if they weren't so staggeringly incompetent. Eventually settling on a course of action (meeting up with friends of the elder Shieldheart who conveniently specialised in the slaying of dragons), the group headed out with joy in their hearts and the promise of a bold new day ahead of them. Naturally, it wasn't as simple as it seemed. Alistair's promise of assistance from the Knights of the Purple Dragon had some strings attached.As Porthos led his band of merry men into the camp, the posse learned that these knights had been afflicted by a terrible curse, causing them to rampage uncontrollably as soon as dusk fell. Said wicked wizardry had been performed by a filthy ginger dwelling in a nearby tower.A little perturbed by this information which had been omitted by Shieldheart Mk. I, the party once again departed, this time to face a previously unknown foe.Arriving at the tower, and tethering their steeds outside, the party aptly disabled the trap on the door (thank you Sliveen) and headed inside. Unfortunately, the peculiar runes lining the inside were harder to affect, and only the majestic and insightful summoning of a rat by the noble leader (Porthos, not that treacherous usurper Byobiir) enabled them to test the waters.The demons that were summoned by this nonetheless inspired plan were rapidly dispatched by the party, after they (rather slowly) discovered the resistance to fire of a group of beings who essentially lived in a plane made of fire.Once this shocking revelation had dawned on the group, it was but a minute or twenty's work to finish off the hellspawn and head up the stairs to combat the wizard himself.This, however, was easier said than done. Upon the appearances of handsome Porthos' noble gang at the head of the stairs, the wizard cast a globe to the floor with a curse and departed, leaving in his place yet more demons.
These, however, proved harder to combat, and in the end the day was only won by an inspired assortment of tactics, involving Ahri's winning grease and mist combination, Tharival's healing, Alec's sheer damage, Sliveen's wiliness, Porthos' masterful command of magicks and even some help from that cowardly usurper Byobiir and her ragged mutt. 
In the gaze of this devastating (read: bumblingly inept) onslaught, the demons left standing had no option but to beat a hasty retreat. Alternatively, it could be said that they instead got fed up of the tedium of hearing the party blunder into bookcases in the midst of a fog of their own creation and left of their own volition, but the only one who could confirm this either way was Ahri, who has remained mysteriously tight-lipped on the whole subject. 
Nevertheless, the party was still relatively unscathed (or at least, not as scathed as they would have been if they'd all died) and their foes had been either vanquished or bored away, depending on who you talk to. 
Suddenly Ahri turned to her comrades, told them that her people needed her, and disappeared.
The rest of the tower was, for some mysterious reason, miraculously easier to conquer. In fact the journey would have passed mostly without note (a dead monster here, a pile of dead things there) were it not for the arrival of Captain Last and his gang, who seemed significantly more feline and aggressive than on their last meeting. In fact, it took a lot of self-control for the party to halt their onslaught without hurting any of the mind-controlled were-cats. However, through a combination of breaking the Red Wizard's thrall, sending members of the party to sleep and some basic combat, the Friends of the Hammer forebore with no loss of life or limb on either side.
Threat neutralised, the team soon found themselves on the top floor and face to face with the Red Wizard. He was an admittedly tougher challenge, especially for Porthos whose spells seem significantly less effective against people who have any idea about magic at all, but the party finally cowed him into submission, and then valiantly struck his fleeing back as he tried to escape, leaving him dead on the floor.
Thereafter followed the traditional looting of the dead guy's stuff, and following a gleeful rummage the party headed downstairs. There, they met with the now-human members of Last Company, who gratefully thanked the noble heroes for freeing them from their curse. Confessing that, from what Alistair had said, they had not expected such competence, Captain Last gladly gave the adventuring party an acid-resitant shield specifically designed for Black Dragon combat.
Still scowling from the mention of his brother, Alec took the shield a little more gruffly than he otherwise would, but was back to his normal brash self by the time that Last Company departed (mentioning that they may start seeking slightly less dangerous game for a bit).
Feeling thoroughly chuffed with themselves, the party sauntered confidently back into town to stock up on kit, sell off what they had spare and reconvene with Alistair.
Chapter Six: Endgame
First attempt at Black Dragon lair, those wormy fuckers, silverymoon
Chapter Seven: Endgame, Take 2
Second, slightly more successful attempt at Black Dragon lair
Return to the tower
The game climaxed in an epic battle. The party (their ranks now swollen by a few erstwhile compatriots, such as the superior Shieldheart and the inimitable Captain Last) arrived at the tower, ready to fight the dragon, and instead found themselves looking out over a plain littered with milling orcs and trolls (or something else, I can't remember). After briefly withdrawing to discuss strategy, and promptly deciding that strategy was for pussies, the Friends of the Hammer charged gloriously and nobly onto the battlefield and surprised everyone by straight up murdering the shit out of motherfuckers. 60 to 8? No problem. Odds are for bitches.
Needing not even a moment to catch their breath, our bold heroes kicked in the door and slew the shit out of that goddamn dragon and his remaining lackeys.
Shit was dope, yo.