CPR Training Session

==Overview==
The CPR Training Session is a course ran by Rose that all the office workers take in "Stress Relief", since nobody knew how to save Stanley Hudson after he collapsed of a heart attack earlier in the episode. The training turns out to be a disaster, with chaos reigning at the end.
 
==The Training==
Michael starts off by telling Rose that people might be confused with the acronym ABC, which stands for Airway, Breathing, and Circulation. Michael tells Rose that in sales, ABC means "Always be closing." It is unknown what Rose's response is, since the camera cuts to a talking head and when it comes back, Kevin is shown, already exhausted after twenty seconds of pounding on the test dummy's chest. 
When Rose calls for other volunteers, Dwight declines haughtily. Michael nominates Stanley, but Phyllis tries to veto his idea, saying that Stanley needs rest. Eventually, Michael convinces Stanley to practice, but Stanley performs chest thrusts at a snail's pace, causing Michael to pressure him to do it faster. The office expresses concern and Michael reluctantly surrenders Stanley, kneeling down over the mannequin.
 
When Rose asks Michael to asses the situation and see if the victim is breathing, Michael replies with, "No, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. You know what, if we come across someone with no arms or legs, why should we bother reviving them? What quality of life do we have?" Rose quickly averts Michael's attention back to performing CPR, which Michael does way too quickly. Rose suggests pumping to the beat of "Stayin' Alive."
Rose soon regrets this, as Andy starts to sing in an annoying falsetto, and Kelly starts to groove around as if it's a dance party. Rose interrupts, saying that nobody called 911 or bothered to continue CPR, so the dummy is dead. Dwight stands up and asks Rose what they should do if the victim is dead and she replies with, "No idea." Dwight quickly takes the office on a list of things to do if there is a corpse on the ground, and when he hears that the dummy is an organ donor, Dwight takes immediate action, drawing a short, sharp knife from what looks like a band in his leg, hidden by his pants. 
Dwight stabs the dummy in the chest, making Angela scream, soon followed by the rest of Dwight's co-workers. Rose seems helpless, while Stanley announces he is tired and needs to sit down. That remark is followed by concern by the rest of the office, who gather around him and help him take a seat. Suddenly, Angela screams again, and it's revealed that Dwight sliced off the dummy's face and pasted it on his, making him look like a serial killer. The CPR training ends there, and Dwight is later seen with Michael at the corporate office for a talk with David Wallace.
Category:Events
Category:Season 5