Street Performers Pick on Me Again!/Transcript

* Rebecca Parham: You want to know one of the weird random things that has helped keep me sane throughout this whole quarantine? Barbershop quartets. Hey, listen, don't pretend like you don't have one of those weird interests that not even your best friends know about. We all have one! I just choose to bring up mine to millions of people, but seriously, barbershop quartets hear me out for two seconds. It's basically a bunch of the most dad-looking guys pitch-perfectly singing parody Disney songs with jokes in the occasional tap-dance. So you know it's amazing. These guys, in particular, are called Main Street and they're all dapper dancers from Disney World. Hmm, Disney World? Street performers? Cheap segways? I do believe this means we have a sequel on our hands. Welcome to Disney Street Performers Pick on Me Two! Although I'm probably gonna call the video something different in the title, so the algorithm doesn't flag me as "for kids". Roll film!
* [film starts] When last we left our heroine, Rebecca, she was singled out by the Citizens of Main Street and made to sing Disney show tunes to a crowd of people! But alas! Our young star has landed herself in a new predicament! Now she must face off with the Citizens of Hollywood, a group of 1930s and 40s styled full of origins who play up the Golden Age of cinema over at Disney's Hollywood Studios. [film ends]
* Rebecca Parham: So back in ye olde animation school days, sometimes, I had enough time off to go to Disney World. One weekend, I went to Hollywood Studios by myself. When I got there, I headed straight for the Tower of Terror, but on my way, I ran into a street act just getting started. Now all of these different citizens of Hollywood characters at the park are reoccurring and they all have names, so the subject of today's tale is Mr. Ready Freddy Fiddlesticks. He and another character were doing their set and I was happily watching, because, as I've mentioned before, I love Disney street performers and Disney street performers love me because they can tell I'll play along. Case in point, in the middle of this performance, the other characters started going into this monologue about how Freddy will never work in this town again and Freddy acting scared came over to me and hugged on me for comfort. My performer instincts tell me that this was him testing to see if I was comfortable being part of the bit:
* Freddy: "Hmm, no. She won't file a harassment claim. She reeks of theater kid [sniffs] and lemons!"
* Rebecca Parham: For his grand finale, Freddy was gonna do this big trick of juggling hats because he needed to hype up the crowd, so he yelled out:
* Freddy: "Are you all ready to see me do a trick?!"
* Rebecca Parham: and the crowd cheered back but then he zeroed in on me and yelled:
* Freddy: "Hey, lady!" [Rebecca is shocked] "Are you ready to see me do a trick?!"
* Rebecca Parham: He then purposefully dropped a hat and bent down seductively showing me his, uh, his hams. The audience lost it, of course, a veritable roar of laughter, and of course, I was playing along, getting all flustered and batting my eyes, and when the act finally ended, Freddy and his friend jumped into their jalopy and started rolling away, with Freddy pointing at me, giving me the call me signal. Huh, how delightful! Disney magic, 10/10! But it doesn't end there. After the act was over I got in line for the Tower of Terror. Back then, I always carried around a sketchbook and pencils with me. So as I was waiting, I was trying to draw Ready Freddy Fiddlesticks from memory and I was getting a little bit frustrated because I couldn't quite remember the details of his costume, but I made my half-finished sketch and rode the ride. When I got off, however, you'll never guess who is outside doing a bit with two new characters: it's Freddy, golly! What luck! I'll be able to finish my sketch. Now let me offer you some advice about not getting picked on by street performers: if you don't want to be part of the act, don't do something that sets you apart from everybody else in the crowd, like drawing because as I stood there innocently finishing up my sketch, unbeknownst to me, one of the other characters had snuck up behind me and was watching over my shoulder. "Hey, Mac, you think you could dangle two steps over, you're blocking the light."
* Snitch: "Hey, Mr. Vanderbilt, I know something! This girl is drawing Freddy!" [Freddie looks behind him, sprints to Rebecca and blinks twice]
* Rebecca Parham: Well that's the fastest a man has ever moved in my direction. While Freddy stood there next to me ogling over this very mediocre drawing of himself, the third actor, playing a big important movie producer, came over as well. He reached for the sketchbook, but mid grab, he at least had the wisdom to ask me under his breath:
* Mr. Vanderbilt: "May I show this?"
* Rebecca Parham: and as the book was leaving my hands, all I had time to quietly say was: "Don't turn the page". Let's just say that if he did this innocent young crowd of Disney going, children would be getting an early art school education in figure-drawing, also known as artistic nudes. And honey, at that point, he'd lose his job, and I'd have to rip up my Disney animation application because I just know I'd be sitting in that interview and the recruiter would say:
* Recruiter: "Our records indicate that you flashed naked people drawings to a bunch of kids while visiting Hollywood Studios four years ago".
* Rebecca Parham: "No, you're thinking of the crazy Rebecca Parham that makes YouTube videos." Thankfully, he heard me because he just held up the page with Freddy's drawing on it. There were some "oohs" and "ahhs" from the crowd, but in that moment, all I remember thinking was: "Man, I wish I was a better drawer". The actor gave me back the sketchbook, reached into his coat pocket, and said:
* Mr. Vanderbilt: "Very good, very good. Well done!"
* Rebecca Parham: and handed me a fake hundred dollar bill. A shame it wasn't real, would have been able to afford a soda. Freddy was still drooling over the drawing, so I asked him to sign it and he was thrilled to do so. [shows her sketchbook in real life] Here is the actual sketchbook from Monday, this is a- this is an old one and here is the drawing of Ready Freddy Fiddlesticks, there's a signature and here's the fake hundred dollar bill that the Disney actor gave me. I wouldn't call this a particularly good drawing by professional artist standards, but I'll never forget how happy it made Freddy. He was a good reminder that the little things can matter a lot to people and you should never underestimate the little things you can do. Well, that's all I got for you, explainers and entertainers, thank you so much for tuning in but now I got a tune out [Rebecca singing with three clones] So, long, and one of the clones says "boop", then the clones awkwardly stare at them and she says "what?".
*[outro begins] Rebecca Parham: Hey, everyone, editor Becca here, just want to say a couple of things before the video ends: first and foremost, I hope everybody is remaining safe and responsible and not going out to any theme parks right now until it is absolutely safe to do so. Number two, as some of you may have heard, I did get really really sick a while back and my doctor did diagnose me with COVID-19 and I just want to let everybody know that I am okay, I am completely fine, I have recovered, I get a lot of questions about it every single day, and I just want to let everyone know you don't have to worry about me anymore, but it is one of the reasons why this video came out so late, so I'm very sorry about that. If you want to know what it was like, I did do a Firebug Chat on my second channel about the topic, so you can just click over there and give that a listen. Thank you to everyone who helped me on this video and thank you for subscribing and watching and liking and commenting and all that jazz. Alright, bye everyone!
Category:Transcripts