Maurice and Me, June 2012

Maurice and Me is a Tumblr blog by Randy Rose, lead singer of The Residents. The blog was active between February 2012 and January 2019, and often featured historical anecdotes about Rose's history with The Residents, as well as further context about Rose himself and projects including the video series In My Room and the Wonder of Weird live tour.
This page collects posts made to this blog in June 2012, archived from the original Tumblr page by The Mysterious Spanish Ladies.
==Blog posts==
===Friday, June 1st 2012===
Okay everybody! This is it - my big idea! The only problem is I can’t decide which one to go for - Buttbook or Facebutt, but it doesn’t matter. I’m gonna be rich either way. Who knows, maybe I’ll do both. I have an appointment with my lawyer next week and he’ll work out the details. Also my buddy Schooner used to work for Apple, so he knows all about venture capitalists and stuff like that. I can see those armored trucks lining up around the block now!
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #buttbook, #facebutt.
===Wednesday, June 6th 2012 (1)===
(Just to get things started - THE FIRST ONE!)
Okay, so here’s the deal. Everybody will send in pictures of their, you know, and then everyone will vote on which ones are the best and we’ll create like a kind of pecking order (so to speak) according to who has the best butt. And of course there will be ways to increase your status by buying special Booty Points from me and stuff like that. I haven’t got it all figured out yet, but I’m working on it. THIS IS GONNA BE HUGE!
(Randy photo by Josh Keppel - it’s hires, too, in case you want to look REALLY CLOSE!)
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #buttbook, #facebutt.
===Wednesday, June 6th 2012 (2)===
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #buttbook, #facebutt, #vintage.
===Thursday, June 7th 2012===
WHOA EVERYBODY! Okay, I guess I need to apologize for posting that piece of Buttbook/Facebutt stock yesterday. I mean, I just wanted to keep everyone up to date in terms of what’s happening, but now PEOPLE WANT TO SEND ME MONEY! Hey, okay, great idea, but we’re a little premature here. I mean it will happen soon enough and of course, ALL MY FOLLOWERS WILL HAVE AN INSIDE TRACK ON THE BIG BUCKS!!! But meanwhile, just hold on, okay? Sheesh! (meanwhile, I have to get back to my lawyer)
 Tagged: #randy rose, #the residents, #randy zuckerberg, #facebutt, #buttbook, #BIG BUCKS!.
===COOL NICKNAMES! - Saturday, June 9th 2012===
COOL NICKNAMES!
Okay, so in addition to sending in pictures of their bohunkus, everybody on Facebutt (or Buttbook) will have this cool nickname. I’ve been talking to my lawyer and Schooner, of course, since he’s an expert on this stuff, and they told me to round up all the mondo boss nicknames for myself, then when the losers - you know the ones with saggy or fat butts - want to get more status, they’ll have to BUY THE COOL NICKNAMES FROM ME! I’M GONNA BE RICH! Here’s a few of the ones I already claimed.
#thebuttles
#doandroidsdreamofelectricbutts
#buttmanandrobin
#butterfucker
#theresnobusinesslikebuttbusiness
#closeencountersofthethirdbutt
#rowrowrowyourbutt
#thebuttstopshere
#nobuttsnogloryhole
#nobuttsaboutit
#raidersofthelostbutt
#thisbuttsforyou
#ohsaycanyouseemybutt
#inbuttswetrust
#theunitedstatesofbutts
#wewishyouamerrybuttfuck
 Tagged: #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #the residents, #buttbook, #facebutt.
===Tuesday, June 12th 2012===
Okay, so it seems like people have been giving me a hard time and saying they don’t really believe I have a lawyer who’s helping me deal with Facebutt (or Buttbook) and stuff like that, and I have to say it kinda hurts my feelings. I mean, this is not something I would just make up or lie about. So anyway, when I went to see Ernie today, I took a picture of office in Chatsworth. So see - it’s real! Man, everybody’s a skeptic these days.
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #music, #musician.
===Wednesday, June 13th 2012===
Ernie says it would help get the attention of some Venture Capitalists if I have a product. I’m thinking this might be it!
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #music, #musician, #buttphone.
===Thursday, June 14th 2012===
(Hey! For anybody that’s interested, I’m still working on my Bad Day on the Midway book. We expect to be selling it by the end of summer. Down below is another short piece from the book.)
----
11:07 AM
The wind is blowing softly as Timmy walks beneath the sign proudly proclaiming the entrance to IKE’S MIDWAY. Even though the carnival grounds are still sparsely populated, the cornucopia of odors greeting the young boy’s nostrils is both potent and profound. The smells of cotton candy, grease, sawdust and animal manure all blend into a heady aroma, suggesting the presence of mystery and delight. As Timmy stands transfixed, his eyes gradually move across the landscape of curious shapes, twisting, poking and bursting up from the dust and dirt and into the sky, each one competing for his attention in garish and unpredictable ways.
To the casual observer, the faded and worn carnival has obviously seen better days, but for Timmy it’s a scene of awe, a world of wonder, nirvana, a magical land with no limits or boundaries. With eyes the size of pies, the boy slowly explores the carnival grounds, eagerly absorbing a feast of pleasure, as each ride and exhibit echoes infinite possibilities in his mind: Ike’s Marvels of Mayhem Merry-go-round, Oscar - The Racing Rat, The Serpent of Satan Roller Coaster, Lottie - the Human Log, Torture’s Top Ten, and Dagmar - the Dog Woman. Each and every attraction fires and inspires the young boy’s imagination, stimulating more images, more stories and more excitement than his bursting brain can manage. “Wow! What a cool place,” is all Timmy can say… over and over and over again.
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #bad day on the midway.
===Saturday, June 16th 2012===
Hey! So this is a picture of me and my buddy Schooner (I call him Schooney a lot). Schooney is my kinda tech guru who helps me out with computer problems and stuff. Well, Schooner used to work for Apple, so he knows about venture capitalists and all, so I thought I’d get his advice and unfortunately he said it could be kind of tricky since they don’t just exactly give you money, but he also said since I have such good ideas like FaceButt and the ButtPhone and ButtCloud, it will probably work out. Schooney said I have to be kind of patient which is not always so easy for me.
 Tagged: #buttcloud, #buttphone, #facebutt, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #the residents.
===Tuesday, June 19th 2012 (1)===
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #buttcloud.
===Tuesday, June 19th 2012 (2)===
Okay, so people keep asking me what’s the deal with the weird butt-thing-in-the-sky and grass picture? Well, I was busy as hell yesterday, but(t) I so excited I had to put it up as quick as possible. I had just come from a meeting with Ernie, my lawyer, and I was thinking about my Butt sites and products and stuff, when I ran into this cute little geezer squeezer, Suzette. Suzette has this great looking purple hair, so of course, I call her Grape. Well, it turns out that Grape is like a WEB DESIGNER and knows photoshop and stuff, and when I told her how Ernie said I have to have a logo for ButtCloud, which is my cloud service where we store all the butt pictures and all kinds of private stuff that people are stupid enough to post on Facebutt (or Buttbook). So anyway, Grape said she’s be happy to make a ButtCloud logo for me, so anyway, that was it! Cool, huh? Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky!
 Tagged: #the residents, #randy rose, #randy zuckerberg, #buttcloud, #facebutt, #buttbook.
===IT WON'T BE LONG! - Wednesday, June 20th 2012===
IT WON’T BE LONG!
Uh, well, I got this email from my lawyer Ernie a little while ago and, uh, he got a couple of calls from some lawyers and, uh, it looks like it’s gonna take a little longer to work out all the details for, uh, those social network ideas that I’ve been working on. Also, uh, the special type of phone that I want to make. But it’s all still happening! We just have to straighten a few things out is all. Sorry.
===MOMMA DON'T GO - Thursday, June 21st 2012===
MOMMA DON’T GO
Hey everybody! I was looking through some old stuff and found this demo I recorded for a blues album I was thinking about doing a few years ago. Check it out.
 Tagged: #randy rose, #the residents, #music, #musician.
==See also==
*Maurice and Me
*Randy Rose
*Bad Day on the Midway (novel)
*"Mama Don't Go"
==External links and references==
*Maurice and Me
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