Mystery SBFW Theater 3000: ZPW The Movie

(Box Productions logo and Box Movies logo appears while Purple133 is heard saying “Yes, this movie has a real plot.” A Cobble Productions logo appears. in the background. Dramatic music plays as the movie opens, but transitions into All-Star.)
Joel: Honestly I really need to know how this movie relates to SpongeBob since there's not a single Nickolodeon logo
Crow: Yeah, and why are they playing All-star?
(Movie opens with a shot of SpongeBob’s house with All-Star in the background, but the camera is slowly zooming in. SpongeBob, Patrick, Shaq, Owlette, and the kids are revealed inside playing a board game.)
Tom Crevo: Shaq is in this just because
Shaq: You know SpongeBob, your kids are great!
Joel: He Has Kids?
SpongeBob: That came out of nowhere.
Crow: My point exactly
Shaq: Yeah, I know.
Owlette (Amaya): You know, being 14 and having 4 kids makes school really difficult.
SpongeBob: Yeah why do you still go to Bikini Bottom High anyway?
Cervo: To get high!
Amaya: I don’t know.
Patrick: I never went to school.
Shaq: Shocker.
(CrazySponge pops in)
CrazySponge: KIDS?! BUT I THOUGHT I KILLE- eh i’ll kill them again later.
Crow: Sideshow Bob wannabe!
(Logo appears with the “Hey now, you’re an All-Star” part of the song playing at full volume.)
Everyone: Ahhhhhhhhh
SpongeBob: PATRICK! TURN THAT OFF! IT’S HECCING EARRAPE
(We hear an earrape version of All-Star)
Joel: Holy Crap SpongeBob has become trendy
Patrick:(Turning it off)Sorry.
(Camera zooms out and goes above sea to a framealier looking house. The camera zooms in on a red couch and Jeffy appears.)
Jeffy: Hey daddy, can I go back to Bikini Bottom to meet SpongeBob?
Crow: Hey look it's that puppet who caused a kid to hang himself!
Mario: (sighs) Jeffy how many times do I have to tell you that those girl scout cookies were drugged?
Jeffy: But daddy it was real!
Mario: Whatever I’m gonna go make you green beans.
Jeffy: BUT I HATE GREEN BEANS!!!
(Jeffy flips the couch over and runs into the white couch room where Black Yoshi is eating KFC)
Black Yoshi: Oh hey Jeffis. Want some chickis?
Jeffy: Sure black man!
Cervo: Why is that the best line of the movie so far?
Black Yoshi: What did you just call me?
Jeffy: Black man.
Black Yoshi: You damn kids in 2018 ain’t got no respects for yours eldis black peepis!
Jeffy: I thought you were 20.
Black Yoshi: Besidis the point!
(Camera goes to SBFW HQ)
Joel: And apparently that arc was aborted
Jasbre: Hey guys, I’m going to use up my vacation days that I’ve stored up!
Purple: Well then who’s in charge?
Jasbre: Here, everyone stand in a line and I’ll throw a dart blindfolded. Whoever it hits is in charge.
Crow: Murder in a kids movie
Joel: Why are we watching a kids movie anyway
Cervo: Maybe Dr. Forester was running out of ideas?
JCM: That sounds like a horrible idea.
(Jasbre throws the dart and Bot shouts, JASBRE THE HELL?!)
Crow: Swearing in a kids movie
Jasbre: Well it looks like Bot is in charge.
CrazySponge: NOOOOOO! Also don’t ask how I got here so quickly.
FDBackup: How did you get here so quickly?
CrazySponge: DAMN YOU!
Bot: Well since I’m in charge I say that somebody will have to be fired due to budget cuts. Hmmmm, I’ll just throw this dart and whoever it hits is fired!
 
Joel: Reused jokes aren't funny
(Bot throws the dart and the movie transitions to Optimus Prime and Ed Sheeran at a pub throwing darts)
W.I.P.
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