Example ZettaiBlog (MAL is down Edition)

Category:Anime Blogs
=As Long As There's BLOGS, it doesn't matter if MAL is down, right?=
This is the Two-hundred-and-... Hey, Riri.
*from the other room*
: Yeah?
What blog would this be? January sixteenth of twenty-fourteen?
: Ugh. Make me do all the grunt work. (Ririchiyo, s-stop that. He's your boss and just look it up for him). Uhhh, it looks like it'll be number two-hundred-sixty-eight.
I see then. I suppose that's the thing when starting this early on the blog. But without further ado, it's time to begin!
This is the Two-hundred-and-sixty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.
Welcome everyone! I'm sure you're all surprised seeing me here, doing guest blogs for Zettai.
: I'd imagine that it's in exchange for all the blogs he's sent you through the years...
That is one reason, but it's also because I want to support all my friends and their blogs!
: That's commendable for you. So what will you be doing?
I will be....
*Topaz picks up a couple of briefcases and starts running away with them.*
going to the BEACH! *escapes*
: GAH! COME BACK HERE AND FINISH THIS BLOG! *sigh* Why is he so irresponsible. And yet, I can't help l-lo-liking him so much, yes...
*Time passes, and Topaz arrives at the beach.*
At least THIS time it's not a magical girl month so the chances of getting attacked by giant monsters are slim!
*Suddenly, Topaz is grabbed from behind and his eyes are covered with a human's hands. A young-sounding voice comes out from behind him.*
???: Guess who it is, Oniichan!
There's a lot of imoutos that it could be, especially on a guest blog from one of my imouto-loving friends. Can you at least give me some sort of hint?
???: Hmmm. Well, I'm the one who loves Oniichan the very most!
That could be any number of imoutos. Give me a more helpful description.
???: Well, I have long dark hair with a hime cut. I'm at least young-looking, and I'm really really cute!
I have an idea on who you are now....
*The questionable female also presses her breasts against Topaz's back*. ???: Really?
He'll be disappointed that it's not who I was thinking that it was though, sadly. But speaking of who it is, it looks like this blog's girl will be...
Today's girl is:
Akiko Himenokou
from
OniAi
: Wow! Oniichan actually acknowledged me! Whoooo! *spins cutely, showing off her sexy bikini and sarong.*
*Topaz sighs.*
: Eh? What's the matter? What's wrong?
I'm sure that you know what-sarong, so to speak... But anyway, it's now time for the blog!
==Head==
===Hair===
Akiko's hair is nearly flawless. It's dark brown, perhaps even black, in color which means she's already got roundabout my favorite hair color. Even better, she has a HIME CUT. Hime cut bangs are justice, and while her bangs aren't exactly level I'd still count them as a hime cut. They're certainly straight enough, anyway. Her length is also great, with the back of her hair going down to her hips or so. It's also mostly straight as well, which is another plus. It even BOUNCES when she runs, so adorable! Finally, for even MORE adorablility points (yes, that is now a word) she has two red bows, one on each side of her head with cute yellow bells on them. 
However, there's some downsides. On occasion, Akiko has her hair up. It's not often, but it's still unfortunate to see. There's also the fact that her side curls only go to her cheek/ear rather than her chin or so, but that's a bit of nitpicking. Also, in the ending credits, Akiko does one of the worst things possible and pulls her hime cut BACK, blocking it with a headband. This is a horrible injustice and won't be tolerated. Okay fine, so she DOES look really cute as the headband is red and it makes her look adorably smart, but still! HIME CUT DESTRUCTION! Overall, Akiko's hair is really sweet, but there's not that "something special" to make it PERFECT. 
*Grade: A
===Eyes===
Akiko eyes are pretty nice. They are a nice purple color (even though Zettai would probably prefer red, purple is a fine compromise), and really work well with her hair. She has some eyelashes, but they're not as noticeable in the anime itself. Her eyes are also VERY round and wide, making her seem full of excitement and cuteness. However, this is one of the problems as well. Akiko's eyes would be greatly improved if she had more of a Tsurime! There are times when her eyes are straighter (OniAi tends to be more free with its designs), but those aren't the normal. This isn't to say that Akiko's eyes aren't adorable; she certainly has her moments but they're not too catered to me despite the nice choice of color.
Speaking of "catered to me", do know that, on rare, and I mean RARE, occasions, Akiko DOES wear glasses. I think that she had one scene in the whole series where she's wearing them, as well as a special and a short moment in the ED. Still, they're a really nice lower-framed pair that fits her face well. It's also even red, which works well with her eyes. I do so wish she wore them more though.
*Grade: B+
===Face===
Akiko's face seems great for my tastes. Other than her eyes (and, rarely, her glasses) doing wonders for her face, it's also framed nicely by her hair. She also really shows her emotions on her sleeves, and usually in a pretty cute way as well. I'd also like to point out that she has a dot-like nose and a very simplistic style of face. This is one of the rare times where it HURTS though. Note that I used all caps to show how strange it is, not how hurtful it is. The problem with Akiko's face is, well, her face seems too small. Not her eyes, but her nose and mouth seem too small for her face. at times. More so her mouth than anything (I can deal with a small nose), and especially when she's smiling. It looks like someone just put a U-shaped dash on her face and called it a day. All in all, I don't dislike her face, it just seems cheap and like they didn't put a ton of effort into it.
*Grade: B-
:
Oniichan really appreciates me!
I do, though now comes the troublesome part!
: But your blog shouldn't be troublesome. It's about ME, after all!
Well, the formatting is what I'm having trouble with. Should I use my own style, or should I use Zettai's style?
: What's the difference?
So far I'd have to change "face" out for "voice", but I won't be doing that because I wanted to talk about the, er, distinctness of your face. However, as he's not as big a fan of breasts as I am he chooses to focus more on the derriere of girls. I'm wondering which I should do...
: Since this is your friend's blog, I am guessing that you should do it his way.
Butts it is then!
==Body==
===Build (& Breasts)===
Akiko has a mostly alright teenage body. She has a slender figure but still retains a somewhat soft-looking stomach. Her waist is also well done. Surprisingly she has shapely arms and legs, usually cheap shows like this skimp on them (though there's still some images where they don't look as great either). But for the most part her legs look nice (though that may be the pantyhose talking). Otherwise, she has, and I quote, "beautiful, soft, and glossy skin" that reflects light. Some people might say that it looks plastic-y, but Akiko's skin is beautiful. She's also slightly pale, but not to the point of being classified by that. Speaking of "classification", I don't know if Akiko would be counted as a "loli". Personally I don't, but it's possible due to her personality, I guess.
Sigh* I suppose that I'll put "breasts" here too, since the next point will bring up another can of worms (pun hopefully not intended). Akiko isn't the bustiest of the cast, and I think that she's not the next bustiest either. This isn't to say that she's flat though, she's smack in the middle (or so) of the five main girls. I'd say that she'd be a B or C-cup or so. Not too big or unwieldy, but enough to give her some cleavage and an overall nice chest. Normally I'd complain about the censorship here as well, but OniAi didn't really have Akiko topless until the specials so it wasn't much of a problem. I will say that her nipples are pretty large, though that's just the style of the show.
*Grade: B
===Breasts Butt===
Much like her bust, Akiko's butt is pretty average. There's no measurements here either, from what I've seen either, but they look about the same size or so. That said, do know that even though OniAi is a nudity-filled show there's VERY little buttservice (excluding Ginbei as she's the least busty character). She seems good though, and in the first episode her buttcheeks even jiggle when she's only wearing a towel and is angry at her brother. Jiggling buttcheeks are very often GREAT. The only problem is during the bikini-shopping episode. She goes into exposition about how the right top can hide a flat chest or that a strap behind the neck will naturally support the breasts (really though, more girls SHOULD wear straps). However, she also says that if you might want to HIDE your butt you can use a sarong. This goes against any sort of fanservice law and Sarongs should be banned. If anything, you'd want to EMPHASIZE your butt as much as your breasts! Wear thongs or, if that's too bold, vertical stripes so that your butt looks bigger! I'm certainly not as hard on this part as Zettai is, as he'd probably penalize Akiko FAR more than I have.
*Grade: B-
===Clothes===
Ahem* Anyway, let's continue on to Akiko's outfits. Not just because I just talked about a certain piece of clothing that should be forbidden, but more because I DO like her outfits. In particular, her school uniform is one of my favorites. It consists of a black buttoned top with six gold buttons on her torso, a white collar and undershirt, a red ribbon that looks like a bow tie (more Zettai's tastes than mine, but still great anyway), a black skirt, and pantyhose. Pantyhose of course brings it all together, but I do love black uniforms. Even if they're somewhat generic sailor uniforms. As far as other clothes go, Akiko has a good amount of outfits. First off, in some episodes she wears a gym uniform which also includes RED buruma, which is always a plus. There's also a moment in a special (the glasses one) where she wears a white dress shirt and only her pink underwear that looks really sexy. Speaking of pink, she also has a pink bikini that's also canon. It shows off a good amount of cleavage but the bottom is frilly which is a no-no (also BOO sarongs). There's also scenes were she's bathing in the nude as well as moments where she's wearing just a towel. She also has some cute pajamas as well. The last thing I'll bring up is her t-shirt collection. Usually I don't notice the casual outfits, but Akiko's needs special menton. After all, she wears a shirt that's reminiscent of the DBZ gi or another that's a parody of the Che Guevara, only replaced with her face (though it retains the beard and mustache) and it's called the "imouto revolution" shirt. Overall she has a lot of nice outfits, but I would like to say that there were many more she could have used (like being a maid or teacher or something like that). 
*Grade: B+
: Oh, so you didn't like my sarong then?
Yeah, do you mind taking me off for you then?
: Eeee! Oniichan is going to undress me *shoves her butt in the air and wiggles it*. Hurry, I don't think that I can wait...
*Topaz goes to take off Akiko's sarong, but he trips conveniently into Akiko. He pulls down the sarong AND Akiko's bikini bottom, as well as falling face-first into her round butt!*
BFFT!
: OH ONIICHAN! Don't be so naughty when you have viewers.
*Topaz gets up and brushes himself off. After that, he fixes Akiko's bottom.*
Err, that was an accident.
: My heart is a flutter! Doki Doki!
*Topaz sighs* Why don't we get back to talking about the blog...
==Mind==
===Personality===
Akiko seems to be a pretty and polite girl on the surface. She is, most of the time at least. However, she has a brother complex so thick that you wouldn't be able to cut it with a chainsaw. It's so bad that at the beginning of the series she goes back to a dorm because she knew her brother would be there and hoped to spend some alone time with him. Akito, her twin brother (yeah, the family seems full of creativity) wants nothing to do with her, but secretly writes imouto-cest novels under a pen name. Ironically Akiko is a big fan of his work. She gets made fun of, but she holds her love high and doesn't see it as wrong. Because of this, she's a bit naive as well. She's also the secretary of the high school's student council, though it's not like they really do anything important. Instead, the rest of the girls try to keep Akito from having alone time with Akiko. And they not only succeed, but it's in such a way that Akiko barely seems present in the show. Really, other than the first episode Akiko gets shoved away so that the other girls will get episodes. This is NOT how you do an imouto anime, folks! 
Overall, Akiko is a nice girl. She's nothing too special but I do like her. I just wish that she had more screentime.
*Grade: B
===Libido===
Akiko's libido is VERY high, if you couldn't tell. The problem is that it's all directed to a single person, her Oniichan Akito. She even wants him to peek at her in the bath and got offended when he didn't. Though originally she just wanted him to bathe with her, one thing I really find attractive. It gets to the point where Akito actively has fun picking on her. Also, the only thing preventing her from jumping his bones, so to speak, is because she thinks that they're blood relatives. They actually aren't, but don't tell her that as it will probably take forever for the series to inform her. There's also Arashi, the student council president, who sexually harasses all the characters. Yes, this includes Akiko as well, especially in the specials. I wasn't a big fan of them though.
*Grade: B+
===Age===
Akiko seems to be a second year student at a high school. Visually though, she seems to be between 14 and 15. I don't have a problem with that age, though it is somewhat low for my tastes. What I DON'T like is a certain meme attached to Akiko. You see, Akiko was voiced by the then-unknown Ibuki Kido in her first role. This might not seem like much, but the VA was ALSO fourteen when she did the voice for Akiko. Again, this wouldn't be too bad, but as you saw above Akiko, as well as the other characters, seem to have a VERY expressive libido. OniAi IS a adult-only series, with nudity and sexual situations and all that. Now, I don't consider myself a prude, but there is a point where I have to draw the line. For me, that line is having underage girls voice underage girls in sexual situations. She IS a good voice, I won't deny it, but it does make me look twice at Akiko...
*Grade: C
**Total Grades: 73
**Average score: 8.1
**Final Grade: B
: Is that a good score? I don't know your blog enough...
It's fine. It's not too low, but you didn't exactly score high either.
: What if I do THIS *puts on red-framed glasses*.
You certainly do look more attractive to me, but isn't that a running gag in Zettai's blogs? Eh, I don't mind it anyway!
:
Obviously more imoutos need hime cuts, glasses, and to have great bodies for Topaz to approve. Learn that lesson everyone!
Also sarongs should be burned!