A Day in the Life of Patrick Jr.

A Day in the Life of Patrick Jr. is a SpongeBob fanon episode from Season 285. In this episode, we get to see Patrick Jr. living his day-to-day life.
== Transcript ==
Patrick Jr.: [Wakes up] Another lovely day! It was very nice of Patrick to let me live in the Krusty Krab!
[Cut to Patrick in his rock]
Patrick: I'm glad Mr Krabs let Patrick Jr. live in the Krusty Krab for 69 cents a week. I'm finally rid of him.
[Cut back to Patrick Jr.]
Patrick Jr.: Hey Dad!
Mr Krabs: For the billionth time, me boy, just because I'm male, and I'm older than you, and I live with you... DOESN'T MEAN I'M YOUR DAD!!!!
Patrick Jr.: Sorry, Dad. Anyway, can I have a triple quadruple greasy bacon burger with extra grease, please?
Mr Krabs: No
Patrick Jr.: [Shows Mr Krabs a pile of cash] I've got money
Mr Krabs: Where'd you get all that cash?!
Patrick Jr.: By making forgeries of winning lottery tickets... and selling them to people!
Mr Krabs: Can't you just use the lottery tickets?
Patrick Jr.: Do I tell you how to do your job?
Mr Krabs: Eh, I guess not. SpongeBob me boy! A triple quadruple greasy bacon burger with extra grease!
SpongeBob: Comin' right up! [Throws Patrick Jr. the burger]
Patrick Jr.: [Eating the burger] Mm, I can feel my arteries clogging up as we speak!
Mr Krabs: Now go bother Patrick for a while!
Patrick Jr.: OK Dad!
Mr Krabs: I'M NOT YOUR DAD!!!
[Bubble transition to Patrick's rock]
Patrick: [Laying in bed] I'm glad I chucked Patrick Jr. out. Now I'll never have to see the purple blob again.
Patrick Jr.: [Starts jumping down on Patrick's stomach] Pink Daddy! Pink Daddy! Pink Daddy!
Patrick: Ugh, you feel heavier. [Looks at Patrick Jr.] Whaaa... You've gained 25 pounds!
Patrick Jr.: I ate a quipple tradruple greasy grease burger with extra grease at the Krusty Krab!
Patrick: Don't you have something better to do?
Patrick Jr.: Well, I was going to tell Bubbly Bass something!
[Bubble transition to Bubble Bass]
Bubble Bass: [To Incidental 69] You'll never guess what I saw in today's issue of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy comics!
Incidental 69: Was it Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?
Bubble Bass: No! Well, yes, but I also saw The Moth and The Atomic Flounder teaming up to defeat the duo!
Incidental 69: Oh, cool. 
Bubble Bass: COOL?! In The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, episode 666, Man Ray Rises, it's explicitly stated that The Atomic Flounder and The Moth are lifelong enemies and despise each other! Man, do the writers care about continuity even a touch?! It's as if...
Patrick Jr.: Bubbly Bass! Bubbly Bass! Guess what!
Incidental 69: Do you know this person?
Bubble Bass: He's Patrick's son.
Incidental 69: Who's Patrick?
Bubble Bass: My nephew's girlfriend's boss's son's snail's cousin. He's a starfish.
Patrick Jr.: You'll be happy to know that Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is no longer my favourite movie of all time!
Bubble Bass: It isn't?
Patrick Jr.: Nope! It's now Batman & Robin!
Bubble Bass: [Beats up Patrick Jr.]
Patrick Jr.: Ow... Hey it's time for lunch!
[Bubble transition to the Chum Bucket]
Patrick Jr.: A chum burger with extra chum and a side of chum, please!
Plankton: And what would you like to drink?
Patrick Jr.: Chum!
Plankton: OK, that'll be five cents please.
Patrick Jr.: Oh, and no chum please. I'm allergic.
Plankton: [Kicks Patrick Jr. out of the restaurant]
Patrick Jr.: Huh. No-one's respective of my allergies. Ah well, I think the weight I gained from the burger I ate this morning will supply me for a month. Time to start work! Hey, sir!
Squidward: Yes?
Patrick Jr.: I've made a forgery for a winning lottery ticket! Would you like onee?
Squidward: OK. [Takes a look at one] What the- these are all drawn in crayon!
Patrick Jr.: Oh, I'm sure whoever checks them won't notice.
Squidward: Hey! These weren't the lottery numbers!
Patrick Jr.: Yeah, cause I made these before the numbers were announced!
Squidward: Forget it. What kind of an idiot would be stupid enough to buy these?
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick Jr! Have you got any more of those fake lottery tickets?
Patrick Jr.: Yup!
SpongeBob: I'll take 10,000! Let's see, if you win you get $500,000... which means I'll get $5,000,000,000!
Squidward: It doesn't work like that you id-
Patrick Jr.: That'll be $20,000 please!
SpongeBob: Here you go! [Gives the cash to Patrick Jr.]
Squidward: Wow... just wow... How do you even have $20,000?! You don't make that much a year!
SpongeBob: Oh, I sell forgeries of winning lottery tickets. Most of them I sell to Patrick Jr.
Squidward: Wha- how does that work?!
Patrick Jr.: Bye Squidward!
[Bubble transition to The Reef Cinema. Patrick Jr. is watching The Emoji Movie]
Patrick Jr.: OMG this movie is amazing! It's even better than Batman & Robin! I can't to tell Bubble Bass this is my new favourite movie! 
French Narrator: Later
[Patrick Jr. walks into the Krusty Krab in a full body cast]
Mr Krabs: Good heavens, me boy! What happened to you?
Patrick Jr.: Bubble Bass beat me up. Coincidentally, it was right after I told him what my new favourite movie was.
Patrick: [Walking in] I'll have half a billion krabby patties please. Wait - Patrick Jr?! What're you doing here?!
Patrick Jr.: I live here, remember?
Patrick: Oh yeah.
Mr Krabs: There's no way you're gonna pay for half a billion krabby patties!
Patrick: I make money by selling forgeries of winning lottery tickets. Most of them I sell to SpongeBob and Patrick Jr.
Patrick Jr.: I'll take 5,000!
[Episode ends]
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