COLD❄BLOOD/Incubus Eyes/Down in a Bowl

Down in a Bowl is the fifth episode of the Japanese anime Incubus Eyes, written by lead writer Athena Panacea. When a silvery-white ghost decides to take residence in Silver Zin's toilet and refuses to move out, he decides to call upon ghost exterminator Devina Kilmister for assistance. Eventually, the severity of the problem continues to rise, to the point where Valerie Heartgold, General Scotch, and Azrail Neos wind up getting themselves involved.
==Transcript==
The episode begins in Silver's claustrophobic underground home, with Silver looking rather bored as he lazily leans on the armrest of his torn-up couch. He was flipping through cable channels looking for something to watch when Pierce wheeled in through the doorway, a tray of hot coffee cups resting on his lap.
:Pierce: Mornin' hon, you don't look so good.
Pierce places a cup of coffee on Silver's mini table.
:Pierce: What's up?
:Silver: I've just stayed up all night, that's all. In hindsight, I really should have gotten my beauty sleep, 'cuz I think I'm just gonna be a grumpy butt for the rest of the day.
:Pierce: Aww, it's alright Silver.
Pierce smiles as he rubs Silver's hair.
:Pierce: Just make sure you get your rest tonight, you know how important your health is to me.
:Silver: I can try at least, haha.
Silver picks up his mug of coffee, pulling it up to his black lips and drinking away. He tensed at how hot the coffee was, but after blowing on it a bit, he was able to drink it down.
:Silver: You're the best boyfriend I could have ever asked for, Pierce.
:Pierce: Now aren't you the sweetest little angel on this Earth?
Pierce pulls off a wicked grin.
:Pierce: No problem hon.
:Silver: I mean, I'm more of an incubus, but I get what you mean~
:Pierce: You're so much sweeter than an incubus though. [smiles sweetly] Just thought I'd let you know that you're still the cutest person in the world, in my eyes.
:Silver: You're cute yourself, don't you forget it!
Silver places his half-emptied mug of coffee back down on his mini-table. He smiles up at his boyfriend, who grins back at him as he in turn begins to drink at a cup of coffee through a ridiculously long straw.
:Silver: Y'know what? Maybe the reason why I don't feel so good is that I haven't taken my morning trip to the john yet.
Silver slowly stands up, tying together his purple robes before we can see anything.
:Silver: I'll be back, I'm just going to take care of my... umm... business, we shall call it!
:Pierce: Yeah, yeah, go use the loo, it sounds like you badly need to.
:Silver: Shhh! [laughs] Don't let Zellen and Medea make assumptions about me that aren't true!
Silver walks off to use the restroom. Pierce smirks to himself before turning around and wheeling his way to Silver's bedroom. When he made his way in, he found Zellen and Ms. Replicate sitting up and sorting out everyone's laundry. He leaves two cups of coffee on the counter, one for each, when he hears a shrill scream from the restroom.
:Pierce: ...Huh?
Pierce turns his head as both girls sit up, perfectly alert.
:Pierce: What was that?
:Ms. Replicate: What're you waiting for? Go check on him!
Meanwhile, in the restroom, Silver was breathing rapidly, shriveled up into a corner as he's face-to-face with the thing that made him scream... a ghost haunting his toilet. The ghost, a violet-haired pale woman with her bangs covering her eyes, was leaning out of a recently-scrubbed and freshly painted toilet.
:Silver: H... Hey, who are you and what the hell are you doing in my g-goddamn toilet?
:Casey: My name is Casey, but didn't you know? [folds her arms] This is my toilet now, how about you take your gross business elsewhere? I just got through cleaning it and painting it!
:Silver: Excuse me, your toilet? [grits his teeth] You wanna deal with the truth the hard way, d-don't you?
:Casey: I'm asking for you to deal with the truth, pastel boy!
Casey laughs evilly.
:'Casey: This is my property now, and soon this whole room shall bear my image! What's so hard to understand?
:Silver: Then answer this... where the hell did you come from?
Casey laughs maniacally, making Silver slink back further into the corner. He's afraid of ghosts, something that this one knows and is using against him, much to his hidden chagrin. Pierce was at the door, listening in from the other side so he didn't interrupt.
:Casey: Since the day I died while using the restroom in my family home, I've been crawling through the sewage system, twisting and turning my way around for a new toilet to use as my grave.
Casey smirks.
:Casey: And it just so happens that I decided to occupy your toilet!
:Silver: That's kind of gross, though.
Silver averts his gaze, trying not to look at her.
:Silver: Why don't you just occupy a real grave?
:Casey: You think being buried in dirt and manure is nowhere as gross?
:Silver: W-Why don't you understand that we've been using this restroom for months and that our posters and decors are hanging all over the walls?
Silver folds his arms, fuming.
:Silver: W... We own this space, girl!
:Casey: I suppose that's a fair point, but it's not like I'm going to go away just because you used facts and logic against me.
Casey smirks like a prick.
:Casey: The only way I'm going to go away is if you make me!
Silver hisses a little bit, grabbing a plunger and walking straight to the bowl. The ghost keeps smirking at him.
:Casey: Try as you might, little boy, you won't be getting anywhere with me!
Silver ignores Casey as he hits the flusher, sending Casey down the drain. He then shoves his plunger down into the toilet bowl, attempting to shove her down. After toilet water rushes back into the bowl, there's no sign of the ghost to be seen, Silver takes a sigh of relief.
:Silver: Thank the lords that was a short encounter.
Still wearing his robes, Silver decides to sit down on the toilet as a test, before Casey springs right back up and headbutts him, sending him flying to the floor!
:Casey: No simple flush-and-plunge strategy is going to send me away for good, pastel boytoy!
Casey cackles wildly.
:Casey: I have a better idea: why don't you just do your business outside in the grass? I'd rather not have your kind ruining my little beauty nap!
:Silver: Maybe I will.
Silver opens the bathroom door.
:Silver: Just expect no sympathy from me.
:Casey: We'll see about that!
Silver walks out of the bathroom, slamming the door. Pierce and the other two girls were standing there, looking rather shocked as he stared at his angry-looking boyfriend, whose 64 teeth were all gritting. Silver folds his arms.
:Silver: So there's this ghost called Casey that's haunting our toilet, everyone. We're all going to have to do our business outside until we figure out a way to get her out of here.
:Ms. Replicate: Oh jeez...
:Pierce: Uhhh...
Pierce looks totally dumbfounded.
:Pierce: ...What?
:Zellen: You sure you didn't just try to flush her down the drain or anything?
:Silver: Yeah, and it didn't work out as I was hoping it would.
Silver sighs and buries his face in his hands.
:Silver: How the hell am I gonna get rid of this Casey person?
:Zellen: I think I have an idea, Silvey!
Zellen snaps her fingers.
:Zellen: Why don't we just call upon that Devina person for help? You know, she's a ghost hunter and all that good stuff, I'm sure she'll be of good use to use.
:Silver: Not a bad idea, Zellie, I like the way you think.
Silver walks back into the bedroom, picking up his phone.
:Silver: You three can do whatever, I'm sure this is something I can handle on my own.
:Ms. Replicate: Good luck sweetie, we'll be out in the living room if you need us.
Silver nods as he dials up Devina's number, the others heading out and leaving him alone.
:Devina [voice]: Hello? Hellloooo? Who's this?
:Silver: Hey there Devina Kilmister, it's your good pal Silver Zin.
Silver laughs sarcastically.
:Silver: Look lass, are you willing to help me out with a bit of ghost extermination?
:Devina [voice]: Sure, I'm just trying to get this werewolf outta my home. I'll try to be there within twenty minutes, alright?
:Silver: ...You need some help with that?
:Devina [voice]: Nah, I got it.
Devina laughs embarrassingly.
:Devina [voice]: Black Eyes is helping me out.
:Silver: Alright then, see you in half an hour.
Silver goes to lie down on his bed to pass the time.
:Silver: I really have to go... c'mon...
----
After half an hour's passed, Devina arrives at Silver's well, dropping down into it and heading down the elevator. When she opens the doors, she finds Pierce, Ms. Replicate, and Zellen all lounging out on the couch, watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. In a panic, Pierce attempts to grab the remote, with Devina standing there silently as Pierce scrambles for the remote. He eventually turns it off, but Devina's already noticed.
:Pierce: Look, these films are my guilty pleasure.
:Devina: Ummm... I'm just praying you're not taking any inspiration for our next album, Pierce Hazel. I'd hate to imagine that timeline.
:Pierce: I'm not a sellout, Devina! [gulps] Well... maybe not quite yet.
:Zellen: Just for the record, this was Hazel's idea.
Zellen kicks back, her arms behind her head.
:Zellen: I was gonna watch some inappropriate Japanese anime instead.
:Devina: You're both terrible, holy shit!
Devina laughs it off as she moves past them, looking around for Silver.
:Devina: Where's Silver, guys?
:Zellen: He's in one of the two bedrooms.
:Devina: Would you mind telling me which one?
:Zellen: How am I supposed to know? You think I've got a good sense of direction, Devy?
Devina rolls her eyes as she walks over to one of the bedrooms. When she opens the door, she sees a church messiah sprawled out across a bed, surrounded by lots of money and wealth and reading a manga upside down. He was still in his clergyman robes and pants, but everything else was off.
:Leper Messiah: Uhh... I can explain.
:Devina: ...You don't need to! I don't even want to know.
Devina slams the door on him, leaving him in there.
:Ms. Replicate: Oooh... sorry about that. He's just a guest.
Devina just shakes her head before walking over to the other door, opening it up to find Silver likewise spread across a bed, this time in the same purple robes he was wearing earlier. He gets up, looking dazed from a lack of sleep as well as just how much has been on his mind overall.
:Devina: There you are Silver, I've been lookin' for ya.
:Silver: I've been waiting on ya.
Silver sits up straight, stretching his limbs out.
:Silver: So, I called you over here because there's a ghost lurking here in my home and I want you to help me get rid of it.
:Devina: Right, that's the message you gave me over the phone.
Devina pulls out her purse and drags out some ghost-hunting equipment.
:Devina: Do you know where you last saw that ghost?
:Silver: Oh, y'know, in my goddamn toilet bowl.
:Devina: You're joking, right?
:Silver: No, there really is a ghost occupying the bathroom and I dunno how to get rid of it.
Silver sighs, his cheeks going red from embarrassment.
:Silver: You think you can help me get rid of this ghost?
:Devina: Yeah, I brought along all the tools I need to capture a ghost and banish it for all eternity. Don't worry about me, it's not the first time I've had to deal with a bathroom monster.
:Silver: What'd you go through the first time?
:Devina: There was a clown ghost that used to occupy some little girl's sink. He'd blow balloons up the drain pipe and then have them burst, sending blood flying everywhere. [shrugs] I'm sure a toilet ghost wouldn't be any harder to deal with.
:Silver: I think I've heard of that clown. Isn't he gay?
:Devina: I dunno, I guess you can find out for yourself in another 27 years.
Devina laughs as she heads out of Silver's bedroom, opening the way to the bathroom. She then steps inside, turning out the lights as she carries her ghost-hunting gear out from her purse. She waits.
:Devina: Hmmm... hey, is resident toilet ghost here?
The same silvery ghost from earlier comes crawling out from the toilet pipe, standing nice and tall from the pristine and well-cleaned toilet bowl.
:Casey: Oh no, not another one of you simple-brained fleshies. C'mon, can't you just leave me alone? I'm still trying to make this little space my home, you know.
:Devina: Listen 'ere.
Devina holds out a remote.
:Devina: I'm a nice gal, and you seem like you'd be good enough to spare. If you just accept that this space isn't your home and go back down the drain, I won't hurt you.
:Casey: That's bullshit you little menace, this place is my home and you don't just walk up to the owner of a space and tell 'em they can't live there anymore.
Casey shrugs.
:Casey: Unless you're an authority I guess, but I don't listen to law either, so that trick won't work on me.
:Devina: We really don't have to do things the hard way, do we? If you just cope with me, maybe I can help you find a better space than this place. You really don't want what's coming for you.
:Casey: I will fight for my freedom in this room 'til the day I die!
:Devina: Pffft. I mean, you're already dead.
:Casey: Rrrgh! Shut up!
Devina rolls her eyes as she clicks her remote, revealing it to be a vacuum. Casey suddenly appears to be getting sucked towards it, but in a desperate attempt to escape, she hits the toilet flusher, sending herself willingly down the drain. Devina laughs, placing her hands back on her hips.
:Devina: Why didn't Silver just try flushing her down? That would have taken care of her real quick!
Just as Devina shut off her vacuum and prepared to leave the room, she heard unsettling noises from down in the pipe. Eventually, she finds that Casey managed to bring herself back up to the surface, herself smirking at Devina.
:Casey: See, you can't get rid of me!
Casey laughs proudly and mockingly.
:Casey: Look at you now! See, since I live inside of this toilet, I can just flush myself down anytime I want to escape your disgusting little vacuum!
:Devina: ...I don't understand why you're being so defensive about all of this.
:Casey: I don't see the problem!
:Devina: Look at yourself. You're making your residence in a toilet, you're planning on remodeling this bathroom into your home, and you never even lived here to begin with... miss, what the hell's wrong with you?
:Casey: Just give yourself up, you're not going to get rid of me no matter how hard you try.
:Devina: Maybe I will.
Devina opens the bathroom door.
:Devina: Believe me, you're not going to get any sympathy from me!
:Casey: That's what Silver said to me before and he got nowhere further than you!
Devina slams the door shut behind her, looking at Silver and Pierce who were sitting together patiently.
:Devina: She's not going to get out of there, Silver. [folds her arms] I tried to suck her up, but it just wasn't working out 'cuz she flushed herself down and came back up!
:Pierce: Jeez, she managed to stop you too?
:Devina: Unfortunately yeah, she has a real grip on being a pain in the ass.
Devina tweaks her glasses, looking at Silver.
:Devina: We're going to have to come up with alternate solutions, Silver.
:Silver: That's unfortunate.
Silver grumbles.
:Silver: But... wasn't this ghost hunting responsibility your specialty, Devina? I'm kind of puzzled that you couldn't snatch her out from the toilet drain.
:Devina: Listen to me, I've never had to deal with ghosts that can flush themselves down toilets to escape the wrath of a vacuum. Just bear with me here... I think we're going to need some outside help.
:Silver: From who?
:Devina: Just bear with me here.
Devina walks towards what appears to be Silver's basement.
:Devina: I'm going to call people who might be able to help us get that ghost out of there. Meanwhile, I'll mess with the pipes to see if I can make something work out from down there.
:Silver: Alright then. Let's see what you can do.
:Devina: I'll try my best, Silv. For now, I recommend urinating into a cup.
Ms. Replicate's trying her hardest to not start laughing hysterically.
:Silver: Alright, alright! You don't need to say that so loud!
:Zellen: Don't worry, Silvie. [looks red in the cheeks] I'll just open up a portal to a place where you can do your business, this isn't awkward or embarrassing at all...
:Pierce: This has no right to be as funny as it is holy shit!!
:Silver: SHUT UPPPPP!
Devina smirks harder as she walks alone into the basement, dialing up a number.
----
General Scotch was called first by Devina Kilmister. He's now in the darkly-lit bathroom with Casey, both having their arms folded as they stare at each other with cold, menacing eyes.
:Scotch: Who're you and why are you in this twink's toilet?
:Casey: I'm Casey, old man, and this toilet is mine to live in! 
Casey lets out a high-pitched cackle.
:Casey: And you're not going to get rid of me by flushing me down!
:Scotch: I'm honestly kind of disgusted that you think living in someone's toilet is your ideal kind of home.
Scotch walks over to the toilet.
:Casey: No funny stuff, I'm going to make sure you don't get to live in that toilet any longer.
:Casey: Try me!
Scotch reaches into his backpack, pulling out a tiny explosive and holding it out in his hand.
:Scotch: This small explosive will destroy the toilet and make quite the mess on the floor. You'll have to retreat back down the drain if I break it up!
Scotch lights the explosive, waiting for it to get close to blowing up.
:Scotch: Any last words to this unsanitary thing you call home?
:Casey: Uh... no, not really.
:Scotch: You sure?
:Casey: Yeah, I think I'm sure.
Scotch hurls the explosive into the toilet, but at the right moment, Casey splashes some water up at the fuse to put it out. It now sits limply in the toilet, and before Scotch gets a chance to take it back up, Casey flushes it down the drain, much to his utter embarrassment.
:Scotch: Well, shit.
Casey lets out a high-pitched fit of laughter as Scotch shakes his fists.
:Casey: I suppose that idea didn't quite work out as you planned, huh?
Casey grins evilly.
:Casey: Get out of here, old man, nobody wants to see you and your child's play.
:Scotch: I'll show you child's play!
Scotch attempts to strangle the ghost, but unsurprisingly, his hands phase right through her neck. He instead feels his fingers become numbingly cold, now wet with toilet water.
:Scotch: Oohh... uhh...
Scotch goes to the sink to wash his hands, Casey the whole time mocking him with high-pitched laughter, even as he dries his hands and leaves the restroom. In the basement, Devina pounds her hand as she hears Scotch give up, standing near the pipeline that leads up to the toilet.
:Devina: That didn't work out as I had hoped.
Devina sighs, calling up someone else.
:Devina: Alright, I guess I should call up the next volunteers to place this ghost out of its misery.
----
Later, Valerie Heartgold and Syinara Wyne are shown in the bathroom instead, looking rather reluctant to be there but willing to help out Silver in this time of need. Casey was beginning to look bored- she was sitting on the toilet seat and looking bothered by the persistence.
:Casey: Why won't you just let me occupy whatever I see fit for a home? What part of that is so damn hard to get through your thick skulls?
:Valerie: Listen here, I have a gig to play in 30 minutes, let's just make this quick and painless.
Valerie takes the plunger.
:Valerie: I'm going to push you right back down there! Are you ready, Syi? ...Syi?
Syinara looked really nervous, her fingers nervously clinking together.
:Syinara: E-ewww! I have to put my v-vines down t-there?
Valerie calmly placed her hand on Syi's back, patting it.
:Valerie: You can do it honey.
:Syinara: A-alright. I suppose it's worth a shot!
Valerie smirks as she walks over to the toilet with Syi, looking down at Casey.
:Valerie: G'bye, toilet demon! I'll be sure to dedicate a couple of songs to your memory!
:Casey: You'll learn the same fate the other three before you have: it's not going to work in your favor!
Valerie flushes down Casey, smirking as Syi pushes her vines down the drain to form a blockade. Valerie then quickly snaps them off of Syi, plunging the water and vines down the toilet hoping to push Casey back.
:Valerie: Oh cool, that might have worked.
:Syinara: That h-hurt... [winces] I'll try to recover though.
Casey then suddenly pops back out of the toilet, cackling nice and loud.
 
:Syinara: Oh no!
:Casey: Alright, let me just tell you two something rather than repeating the same cliché cycle of making fun of y'all for every single time one of those botched strategies of yours backfires on you.
Casey sighs.
:Casey: Look, I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't wanna rest in a grave 'cuz it's boring. I don't wanna go back home 'cuz I don't wanna traumatize my family. I don't wanna go venturing in the sewers because it's gross down there. Can I just have this toilet all to myself, please? It sounds gross but let me have it!
:Valerie: I understand that you're lonely and that you have nowhere else to go.
Valerie leans back against the wall, sighing in defeat.
:Valerie: was in that same situation once upon a time, but instead of infesting toilets, I hung out in back alleys and made money off of selling myself and my valuables. But you have to find motivation and inspiration to get anywhere in life, and I sure as hell didn't get as far as I have by claiming some random person's bathroom!
:Casey: Whatever, really.
Casey points to the bathroom door.
:Casey: Your life is your life, my life is mine. Go scram and leave me alone, for Christ's sake.
:Valerie: ...Who's Christ?
:Casey: OUT!
Devina sighs from the basement, having been waiting for the perfect opportunity with her ghost-catcher.
:Devina: Alright, guess I have one more viable option.
Devina dials up another number...
----
Eventually, Casey becomes face-to-face with her newest challenger: a clumsy man in a purple winter coat! He knelt down on the floor, opening up his toolbox and peering at Casey through his glowing golden eyes.
:Azrail: My name's Azrail... Azrail Neos, if you don't mind calling me such.
Azrail holds out his hand.
:Azrail: Nice to meet ya, Casey.
:Casey: Uhhh... I'm not taking that hand. [folds her arms] Aren't you the thief that's been going on panty raids around town? Why would I shake your hand, you creep?
:Azrail: So much for friendly conversation, huh. [opens up his toolkit] For your information, those panty raids haven't happened for years. I just ask people to pay me for their undergarments now.
:Casey: ...But why?
:Azrail: I don't know, why do people like feet so god damn much?
Azrail pulls out a vacuum, making Casey wince.
:Azrail: Don't move whatsoever, Casey.
Azrail places his hand on the trigger.
:Azrail: We can make this go the easy way if you just stay perfectly still. You can rest assured you'll eventually be in a better place.
:Casey: I'm not sure if I trust those words coming from y-
:Azrail: Silence, I say! Listen to me, your days of bathroom terrors are coming to an end! I'll make sure that Silver's bladder is spared from the expenses of buying new robes!
:Casey: Uhhh-
:Azrail: It's too late for apologies or rebuttals, unkind fiend!
Azrail switches on the trigger.
:Azrail: Begone, thot! A.K.A., toilet-hogging otherworldly troublemaker, as I've been advised to call you by that Kilmister person over the phone!
Casey didn't really know what to say as Azrail began to try sucking her out. In a desperate attempt to escape, she flushes herself back down the drain.
:Devina: Hey Casey, I don't think you're going to like going backwards either!
Casey looked behind herself, wincing hard as she notices that Devina also has her vacuum and that she's broken down the path she's been using to escape for a while now. Trapped between two sides, she looked nervous. Devina starts to yell over the loud vacuums they both have.
:Devina: Hey, I'm still giving you a chance! Just stop haunting the toilet and I'll give you a real home!
:Casey: R-Really?
:Devina: Really! I know someone outside that I know can take care of you.
:Casey: How do I know if this isn't another stupid trick of yours!?
:Devina: Listen to me, I never came here with bad intentions, I was going to hand you off to a friend named Koffina who I know can take care of you and protect you!
Devina smiles.
:Devina: That's why I was gonna suck you in, silly! I told you that I thought you were a nice gal!
Casey sighs to herself, holding onto the toilet pipe.
:Casey: Alright, f-fine then! I'll make peace...
Devina smiles as she shuts off her vacuum.
:Devina: C'mon Casey, let's go.
There was no response.
:Devina: Casey?
Devina widens her eyes.
:Devina: CASEY?
Devina looks up the tube. She couldn't see Casey at all no matter how hard she looked. She sighs as she walks up the basement stairs, going into the bathroom and holding her machine.
:Azrail: No worries, Devina! I sucked her up into this ol' machine of mine, and she's been successfully torn to shreds inside by the spirit-eating rays.
:Devina: Any chance that you can return her to life?
:Azrail: Nah.
:Devina: Well shit. I really hope that if she still has a consciousness that she's not too mad at me about all this.
Devina sighs and looks at him.
:Devina: Let's go back up to the surface.
:Azrail: Uhh... right. Why do you care though? She was giving everyone trouble.
:Devina: I dunno, she just wanted a place to be happy in. [sighs] That's what Val told me before she left.
:Azrail: ...Ah jeez. Sorry 'bout that, Dev.
:Devina: It's fine really. Just... I think I'll be sure to just give you my vacuum next time so mistakes like this don't happen again.
:Azrail: You're acting like we'll find another toilet lurker...
:Devina: Shut it! Let's just get out of here.
Azrail and a glum-looking Devina walk out of the bathroom.
:Devina: Bathroom's yours, Silver.
Silver rushes IMMEDIATELY into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. She sighs.
:Pierce: Thank you Devina and Azrail for everything.
:Devina: You're welcome, Hazel. [frowns] Don't show up late tomorrow, cutie.
Devina and Azrail go up the elevator. Little did they know though that Devina never put the pipes back in place...
----
The next morning...
:Pierce: Ah shit.
Pierce looks around himself in the basement. Toilet water everywhere, up to an inch in height.
:Pierce: Fuckin' hell! SILVERRRRRRRR!
THE END
==Other information==
===Characters===
*Silver Zin
*Valerie Heartgold
*General Scotch
*Syinara Wyne
*Pierce Hazel
*Devina Kilmister
*Azrail Neos (debut)
*Ms. Replicate
*Koffina Laxi (mentioned)
*Zellen Harley Quimbleson
*Leper Messiah (debut; cameo)
*Casey the Ghost (debut)
===Settings===
*Stenographer Well #66, Stenographer Garden, New Naxaz City
Category:COLD❄BLOOD
Category:Subpages