Alaskarfield

Alaskarfield is the 60th episode of Wait Wut and the 20th episode of season three. It was written by .
== Transcript ==
[Episode begins with Garfield sipping some hot cocoa. Jon shows up in an ugly Christmas sweater.] 
Jon: Hey, Garfield. 
Garfield: Yo.
Jon: I just wrote my letter to Santa. Wanna hear it? 
Garfield: I'm not in the mood. 
Jon: I wrote to Santa that I wanted a new girlfriend.
Liz: what the fuck- 
[Jon shoots Liz in the head. Liz fucking dies.] 
Jon: What did you ask him for, Garfield? 
[Cut to Santa reading Garfield's letter] 
Santa: "…for Christmas, I'd like the entire country of Alaska." 
Elf: Wait, we can't give him the country of Alaska! 
Santa: And why not, my servant? I- I mean helper. 
Elf: That's not how it works. You can't just give someone a country. Let alone for free. 
Santa: Do I look like I have any fucks to give? If it's Alaska he wants, it's Alaska he'll get. 
Elf: You're a dumbass. 
Santa: And you're fired. 
Elf: I am? Oh, thank God! You know, if it wasn't for the Christmas shit, I- 
Santa: Get out. 
[The elf leaves. Cut to Alaska on Christmas day.] 
Guy 1: Hey, I hear we're owned by a cat now. 
Guy 2: How about that, huh? 
Garfield (off-screen): Come to papa, baby! 
[Garfield shows up and vores Guy 2] 
Guy 1: wait wut 
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