The Alchemist

== Description ==
The Alchemist is an entity PoI with strong alchemicalVia Wikipedia: Alchemists attempted to purify, mature, and perfect certain materials. Common aims were chrysopoeia, the transmutation of "base metals" (e.g., lead) into "noble metals" (particularly gold); the creation of an elixir of immortality; and the creation of panaceas able to cure any disease. abilities that bears a resemblance to a human, albeit set apart by distinct and eccentric attributes. His face is somewhat similar to that of a Partial Faceling, in that unsettlingly smooth skin replaces his eyes beneath his glasses. His ears are distinctly pointed, reminiscent of an elf's rather than a human's. His ghastly white complexion and salt-and-pepper beard contrasts with his toothy grin, beaming along with the slight golden sheen that his skin exhibits in direct light.
His attire resembles that of a scientist's, a peculiar white lab coat. It's made of loose fabric that gathers at the cuffs and is fastened with golden buttons. It is cinched at the waist with a practical brown belt and a gilded buckle.
The Alchemist's coat pocket most commonly includes two items: a pen, and a magnifying glass. These items signify the Alchemist's curiosity and propensity for science, though only the pen is used by him frequentlyWhen questioned on his lack of use of the magnifying glass, he said he "doesn't need it"..
== Behaviours ==
The Alchemist is an eccentric personality, and can be very unpredictable. He carries himself in an enthusiastic manner even at the worst of times, caring very little for the circumstances around him, being remarkably unaffected by shocking or tragic events. His manner of speaking is equal parts scientific and enthusiastic, and can often come across as quite condescending. His attitude to alchemy is one of great pride, coupled with a genuine passion for the craft. 
He had this to say on his more eccentric personality in comparison to other godlike entities: "Did I used to be... Godlike? You mean formal, not Godlike. Either way, sure I did! But that was when humans didn't have science like you have today. I got to work things out for you, and you all thought I was great. And that's how it went for years and years until you all got too good at my game. So what's a man to do, pretend to be your babysitters when you're all perfectly fine on your own? Preposterous. That's the Keymaster's job."
The Alchemist's main ability is, according to him, the ability to "understand anything, down to its most basic systems" — this apparently can mean anything from seeing things' insides without opening them to comprehending and editing their molecular structures. 
His expertise can be enlisted in return for a favour; procurement of items, the teaching of interesting information, or even the revival of the dead could be possible if he chooses to entertain your request. The favours and trades he asks for in return vary from trivial to substantial, for example:
* Human blood (withdrawn from a syringe he keeps inside his coat);
* Busywork, for example, "Get me a doughnut;"
* Whisky;
* Your mortal soul;
* Human currency which he apparently collects;
* A quarter of your personality attempts by the Alchemist (or the wanderer after giving the said 'quarter' up) to explain what is meant by a half of a personality are unhelpful and incoherent.;
* A cigarette.
If his request is too difficult to fulfil, you might be better served to ask for his help on another day when he's in a better mood.
== Biology ==
The Alchemist's biology is a mystery through and through. He is able to see despite a lack of eyes, even wearing glasses over the space where his eyes would be. His vision is reportedly precise and far-reaching, unlike his hearing which (despite his ears being an irregularly pointed shape) is equivalent to a human's in range.
Through a manual, painstaking process the Alchemist can rapidly heal substantial injuries. This makes him practically invulnerable, though he still exhibits an aversion to risk due to the pain and effort of healing.
== Discovery ==
Records of entities resembling the Alchemist date back as far as the recordkeeping systems that hold them, appearing alongside other ancient entities such as the Keymaster.
The Alchemist is, nowadays, not an entirely uncommon sighting, though he may be elusive if you aim to find him for yourself. He tends to stay in safer levels, such as Level 10.
== Letter to the Keymaster ==
Via the M.E.G.
On the floor of Level 1, soaked with almond water, the M.E.G. discovered a letter that was apparently lost in transit between the Alchemist and the Keymaster. Its text is transcribed below:
Keymaster.
I, ever the heroic, would be all too happy to help you against any threat! Well, at least to have something to do. You should know this from our previous excursions, I'd move heaven and earth. That being said! There's no way you're getting my thingamajig. I'm a scientist, you're going to need some more empirical evidence.
I know you're desperate to avert this "chaotic future" you see for all of us, but you're simply not able to handle knowledge like mine. If you really want to convince me, and I'm sure you do, see me in person at my hideout. Don't let anyone follow you, or I turn your intestines inside out.
~ Yours, the Alchemist.
It is presumed that this exchange is pertaining to the Lens of Wisdom, a Treasure of the Void thought to lie within the Alchemist's magnifying glass. 
The letter was delivered by the M.E.G. to the Keymaster, who appeared frustrated that the letter had been lost in transit. It is unknown by what method the letter was intended to be transported, and — perhaps unsurprisingly — the Keymaster refused to explain.
The location of the Alchemist's 'hideaway' is unknown, although a team has been sent out to locate itThis team has been experiencing recent telecommunications difficulties, so the results from the excursion are still pending..
== Relations ==
The Jester: The Alchemist mentions the Jester at times, but they have never been seen together. "You should ask him about me, if you can stand to be near him that is."
The Keymaster: The Alchemist often helps the Keymaster (sometimes with the King of Normality in tow) to aid wanderers of the Backrooms. "I'd say we're friends! Not sure if he would."
The King of Normality: They share a mutual friendship with the Keymaster. "He's a funny one. He's boring to be around, but fun to think about."
The Crimson Wanderer: The Alchemist respects the Wanderer more than most, but does not see him often. "Oh. Him. I like him well enough, but we used to be closer back in the day. When I made that alchemic cure-all, I had to use some of his bloodThis potentially suggests the containers of Liquid Pain found throughout The Backrooms to be lab waste haphazardly disposed of by The Alchemist. What a good sport."
Mortis Abelson: Mortis and the Alchemist appear to be friendly with each other. Still, the Alchemist refuses to ask Mortis for the souls of people he brings back to life, instead redirecting them to seek him out for themselves. After reviving an M.E.G. agent who would rather remain unnamed: "Oh, come on! You don't really NEED a soul, do you? Just get drunk, it's basically the same thing."
The Priestess: The Alchemist seems to have a soft spot for her. "Right, that one. I can't bear to stay short with her, even though she can be SO boring. She's kind, though, and she cares to listen to me and not just dismiss me... maybe that makes her more insane than I am?"'
== Do's and Don'ts ==
=== Do ===
* Do ask the Alchemist to procure items for you, if the favour he asks in return is reasonable.
* Do keep clear of the Alchemist if you don't need anything from him. Interactions are unpleasurable and ill-advised.
=== Don't ===
* Don't waste time arguing with the Alchemist, or attempt to build a rapport.
* Don't accept a bargain you can't hold up. It will cost you dearly.
+ author
- author
by your local faceless scutoid
wow finally made a convergence boy xd
what a ripoff of the keymaster i'm so unoriginal throw tomatoes @ me
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Category:Entities
Category:Person of Interest
Category:The Royal Court
Category:The Alchemist