Annoying Orange Comedy Roast!/Transcript

(Screen explodes into the title card, and everyone cheers)
Grapefruit's Voice: Daneboe proudly presents the comedy roast of the Annoying Orange. Here's your host, Pot Roast!
Pot Roast: That's right, everybody. Just the way your mother made it, what now?
(Everyone laughs)
Pot Roast: It's great to be here, tonight in produce section. Seriously, there are a lot of vegetables, here. Then again, it is Youtube, say what now?
(Everyone laughs)
Pot Roast: This is so exciting, really. When, they told me to come down here and roast the Annoying Orange, I was like, "Heck, yes! I love Snooki!"
(Everyone laughs)
Pot Roast: Seriously, folks. The only thing worse in this gag was the time some guy shoved the thermometer up my rump.
(Everyone laughs)
Pot Roast: Speaking of pain of the butt, where's our honored guest?
(Orange being tape gagged appears by the machine where it goes up, and everybody cheers.)
Orange: (muffled through gags)
Pot Roast: What? I warned you not to sign that gag order.
(Everyone laughs)
Orange: (growls through gags)
Pot Roast: Orange doesn't seem like himself, tonight. I know what you're thinking. What an improvement!
(Everyone laughs)
Orange: (muffle through gags)
Pot Roast: What now?
(Screen flips into Pear hosting)
Pear: You know, with Orange, there's no in between. Either you think he's annoying, where you hate his guts.
(Everyone crowds)
Orange: (laughs through gags)
(Screen flips into Potato hosting)
Potato: (Matter-of-factly) I don't have anything bad to say about Orange. His face says it all.
(Everyone crowds and the screen skips into Bananas hosting)
Banana #1: You know, we'll never forget the first time we met you, Orange.
Banana #2: Although, we keep trying.
(Everyone laughs)
Orange: (groans through gags)
(Screen skips into Cucumber hosting)
Cucumber: Listen up humans, and listen good! This land structure is now the base of operations for my cucumber invasion of mankind.
(Screen skips into Midget Apple hosting)
Midget Apple: Orange, sometimes you say things that make me feel small, and sometimes you say things that make me feel insecure. I call those feelings "the cold pricklies".
Pear: Dude, are you gonna tell a joke or what?
Midget Apple: (Confused) A joke?!
(record scratches)
Midget Apple: I thought this was in an intervention!
(Everyone laughs)
Orange: (laughs through gags)
(Screen skips into Cabbage hosting)
Cabbage: Geez! What is this? A bowling alley? I can hear a pin drop!
(Screen skips into Sunflower hosting)
Sunflower: Orange has no arms and legs. When he goes swimming, I like to call him Bob!
(Everyone laughs, and the screen skips into Passion Fruit hosting)
Passion Fruit: Orange, when you talk, other people get hoarse just by listening.
(Everyone laughs and the screen skips into Liam hosting)
Liam: If I had a nickel for everytime the Annoying Orange annoyed me... well, I wouldn't need to find my Pot 'O Gold, now, would I? (laughing)
(Everyone laughs)
Liam: Ah... (Sad) I still want to, though.
(Screen skips into Walnut hosting)
Walnut: I get very nervous when I think about being alone with him. I mean he has these amazing huge eyes, beautiful hair, fair skin, and he is next to me.
(Screen skips into Eggplant hosting)
Eggplant: You guys wanna hear my impression to Orange?
(Everybody cheers)
Eggplant: It sounds a little something like this...(farts and laughs)
(Everybody laughs)
Eggplant: Pretty good, right?
Orange: (groans through gags)
(Screen skips into Party Rock hosting)
Party Rock: You know, Orange is the kinda fruit you could use as a blueprint........to build an idiot. Heh-heh.
(Everyone laughs and the screen skips into Yam hosting)
Yam: You had a lot of well wishers here today, Orange.
Orange: ('muffled) Really?
Yam: Yup, a whole bunch of people that wanna throw you down a well. (laughs)
(Everyone laughs and the screen skips into Grapefruit hosting)
Grapefruit: Orange is no dummy. He didn't just fall off the turnip truck. Nope, the turnips pushing him. (laughs)
Orange: Mm-mm.
(crickets chirping)
Grapefruit: Eh-heh-heh. Hey, is this thing on? Mic check, mic check!
(Everybody laughs and the screen skips into The Cobs hosting)
Cob #1: Hey Orange, Gilbert Gottfried called. He wants his laugh back.
(Everyone laughs)
Cob #2: (laughs like Gilbert Gottfried)
Cob #1: Not you, moron!
(Screen skips into Zoom hosting)
Zoom: Hey! Looks like you can use some ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! With Zoom, you don't have to count sheep! You can ride them at the speed of sound!
(Screen skips into Pineapple hosting)
Pineapple: Is that a spray tan?
Orange: (muffles "no" through gags)
Pineapple: Try using Copper tone, not Orange glow.
(Everyone laughs and the screen skips into Mango hosting)
Mango: If Orange truly spoke his mind, he'd be 'speech-less'. (laughs)
(Everybody laughs and the screen skips into Grandpa Lemon hosting)
Grandpa Lemon: Orange is so annoying that--(sleeping)
(Everyone laughs and the screen skips into Juice Boxes hosting)
Cherry: (tongue flipping)
(Everyone laughs)
Cherry: What's that all about, huh?
Orange: (groans through gags)
Blue: You--you think you're Nyan Cat like you do it long enough to turn you into a pop tart and like rainbows? Heh-heh.
(Everyone laughs and the screen flips into Marshmallow hosting)
Marshmallow: Yay! I think, Orange is great!
Pear: Marshmallow, you're doing it wrong.
Marshmallow: (Fails to realize this) Yay!
(The candy cane carries Marshmallow away, everybody laughs and the screen flips into Copper Lincoln hosting)
Copper Lincoln: Yo, Orange is so clumsy, that any dance he does is considered break dancin'. (laughs)
(Everyone laughs)
Copper Lincoln: (dancing) WHOO-HOOOOO!!!
(Screen flips into Gingerbread Man hosting)
Gingerbread Man: Orange is like a Christmastide - loud and useless. (laughs)
(Everyone laughs and the screen flips into Midget Apple hosting again)
Midget Apple: Orange is so dumb, and he got--
Pot Roast: Okay, like we say it Butcher Shop, it's time to wrap it up.
Midget Apple: Oh, come on! I was just getting started!
Pot Roast: Yeah, but, now you get stopped... short! Whaaaaaat?
Midget Apple: (groans)
(Everyone laughs)
Pot Roast: We've had our fun, last and short, but now, it's time for our silent partner to take a step.
(Orange take his duct tape out of his mouth.)
Orange: Eh, ducts taste like plastic! Uhh!
(Everyone laughs)
Pot Roast: What's the matter, Orange? Don't feel like chewing the fat?
Orange: I don't know. It's just kinda nice that everyone could be here to celebrate our billionth view. Especially, since most of them have already been killed, sliced or exploded.
(Everyone laughs)
Orange: I guess all I really wanna say is, tanks a lot!
(Record scratches, the tanks appeared, and they killed everyone except for Pear, Passion Fruit, Midget Apple, Marshmallow, and Grandpa Lemon, and everybody screams in fright)
Orange: (Surprised) Whoa!
(The audiences opened the top tank)
Little girl: Whoa, we're not late for the roast, are we?
Orange: I really do have an army of fans! (laughs)
(Screen show Pot Roast got hit by the tank wheel.)
Pot Roast: (pain noise) Oh, that Orange has a one track mind. Am I right?
(The tank explodes into ending credits. The new Kitchen Carnage update with Red Raspberry hosting in the square. Everyone cheers)
Red Raspberry: Your jokes are the bomb, and I'm a nuke. Wanna go toe-to-toe? Duke-to-duke? I'll come to your town, I will rock the world. Slap you down, son, and steal your girl. I'm Rapberry, son of a gun, you're just a chump, who loves to pump. Whoooo!
Category:Transcript pages
Category:Season 4