Tamatoa's Lair/Shiny Part 1 (Kiki Version)

(Upon noticing the pile of gold and treasure, Kiki's group looked on in amazement)
Link: (Whispering) Whoa. That’s a lot of treasure for a crab to collect.
(Popple, Meowth, Megavolt, and Quackerjack darted ahead and were about grab some gold when….)
Kiki’s group: (Whispering savagely) Don’t!
(The four stopped and got concerned as Kiki's group quickly went up to them angrily)
Bushroot: (Whispering savagely, enunciating) Don’t, touch, anything! (Whispering savagely) We’re just here to find Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, and Megavolt’s charms and Quackerjack's Mr. Banana Brain!
Yuffie: (Whispering savagely) Even Wes, Jessie, James, and I are not that obsessed with this stuff!
Jessie, James, and Wes: (Whispering savagely) That's right!
(Realizing and understanding, Popple, Meowth, Megavolt, and Quackerjack nods and they began searching with the others cautiously, hoping to not attract this Tamatoa’s attention)
Zelda: (Whispering) Now if I were four charms and a doll, where would I lay in this pile?
(Realizing something with Zelda, Elise got everyone’s attention quietly)
Elise: (Whispering) Wait a minute!
Zelda: (Whispering) Listen!
(Kiki's group got up to her and Zelda)
Kiki’s group: (Whispering) What?
Zelda and Elise: (Whispering) We could locate it.
(Zelda and Elise then casted a locater spell and sensed where the missing charms and Mr. Banana Brain doll are)
Zelda and Elise: (Whispering) We know where the charms and doll are now.
Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, Megavolt, and Quackerjack: (Whispering hopefully) Where?
(Zelda and Elise pointed at the top of the treasure pile, and there lay Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, and Megavolt’s lucky charms and Quackerjack's Mr. Banana Brain doll. Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, Megavolt, and Quackerjack were about to run to it when Popple, Jessie, James, Bushroot, and Liquidator grabbed them savagely)
Popple and Liquidator: (Whispering angrily) Don’t attract Tamatoa’s attention!
Jessie, James, and Bushroot: (Whispering angrily) They're right!
(They smack them in the back of their heads and Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, Megavolt, and Quackerjack rubbed them)
Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, Megavolt, and Quackerjack: (Whispering) Sorry.
Kiki: (Whispering) But we don’t see this Tamatoa anywhere.
Christopher: (Whispering) It’s because….
(He points at the pile of treasure, making Kiki's Kansas group realize)
Yuki and Jiji: (Whispering) You mean…?
Tombo and Kanta: (Whispering) That treasure pile is actually…?
Satsuki and Mei: (Whispering) No way!
Link's group: (Whispering) Yes.
Aryll: (Whispering) Tamatoa’s actual shell.
Lea: (Whispering, getting it) Got it memorized?
Kiki's Kansas group: (Whispering, getting it) Oh, yeah.
B.E.N.: (Whispering) Then how do we get up there without letting him know we’re up there?
(They think, and then Pinocchio got an idea)
Pinocchio: (Whispering) I know! What if we quote, accidentally catch his attention, unquote?
Bushroot: (Whispering sarcastically) Oh, great idea.
Popple: (Whispering sarcastically) Yeah.
Yuffie: (Whispering seriously) Then he’ll eat us!
Jessie: (Whispering savagely) Ever thought of that?!
(Pinocchio smiled smugly)
Pinocchio: (Whispering) Not necessarily.
(Confused at first, Kiki's group then realized and got what Pinocchio is talking about; A distraction. Then Kiki spoke up quietly)
Kiki: (Whispering) But who will distract him?
(A short pause as they think, then they turn to Kiki smugly, much to her confusion at first)
Kiki: (Whispering) Me?
(They nod and Kiki objected quietly at first as they walk up to her, carrying bioluminescent shells)
Kiki: (Whispering) No, no!
(Later, Kiki, wearing the shells on her like armor, got nervous as her friends climbed up to an edge near the top)
Kiki: (Whispering) Are you sure it’s going to work, Pinocchio?
Pinocchio: (Whispering) Positive! Then we’ll tie him down, like I said.
Tiger: (Whispering) Go on, Kiki, you can do it!
Yuffie: (Whispering) Make your distraction!
James: (Whispering) Go for it!
(Kiki sighed nervously, then gathered her courage and started shouting out loud, which is part of the plan)
Kiki: Wow! Look at all that treasure pile!
(Her friends give her a thumb’s up and a wink at her good performance as they climbed near the charms and Mr. Banana Brain doll. Seeing them almost there, Kiki smiled in confidence and then proceeded to shout)
Kiki: Can’t wait to collect some before he awakens!
(Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, Megavolt, and Quackerjack reached out for the charms and Mr. Banana Brain doll once there, and just after snatching them respectively, they and the others climbed down back to the ground to meet up with Kiki when suddenly, upon reaching the ground, the area shook, shocking the others)
Fievel: (Whispering) Uh-oh! Looks like Tamatoa’s awake!
(They hide behind a pile of rocks. Kiki was about to join them when the treasure shell slowly rose up, ending the small tremor, to reveal giant crab-like legs. Kiki stood there, frozen in silent concern as it happened. Then a head and two claws emerged slowly, revealing a giant male blue and orange blended skinned Coconut Crab with light yellow eyes, black pupils, white crooked teeth with some gold engraved in some of his teeth, and missing one of his left legs, which appeared to be torn off already, and it's already healed up, leaving it a stump. He is Tamatoa, the said monster Kiki's group was told about. He opened his eyes and noticed Kiki in her shell armor)
Tamatoa: Well, well, what do we have here?
(A short pause, then just when Kiki was about to blast him, Tamatoa picked her up with his claw and held her closer to him. Kiki began to struggle and squirm as she is brought closer to Tamatoa’s face)
Tamatoa: Looks like I found me a gold shelled creature, glittering like stars….
(Suddenly, Kiki’s squirming knocked all the shells off of her, exposing her, much to Tamatoa’s surprise and shock)
Tamatoa: Wait a minute! A human?! What’s a human like you doing in…?
(He suddenly changed the subject quickly as Kiki continued to squirm)
Tamatoa: Hold still, would you? I can’t see you clearly when you squirm like that because I need to focus.
(Confused, Kiki did what he said and Tamatoa resumed his question)
Tamatoa: What’s a human like you doing in my turf?
Kiki: (Confused) Uh….
(She narrowed her eyes at her friends’ hiding spot, who motioned her to be strong. Gathering her courage, she explained herself)
Kiki: I came here because five friends of mine dropped some things of theirs in your trench, which you brought here.
Tamatoa: (Leering) Oh, really? And what are they, pray tell?
Kiki: They’re four locket-like lucky charms, they’re gold, and a doll that looks like an anthro banana, but….
Tamatoa: (Realizing) Oh, you mean those four gold charms and banana man doll I found outside earlier. (Sneeringly) Well…. Finders keepers, losers weepers. Get it?
(He chuckled a bit. Kiki chuckled a little bit, then spoke up again)
Kiki: Well, I guess if they're yours….
(Her group slowly snuck out of their hiding spot successfully by that distraction as Yuffie, Wes, Meowth, and Megavolt placed their charms back in their shirt and business shirt's neck collars, bag, and jumpsuit's neck collar respectively and Quackerjack puts his Mr. Banana Brain doll back in his pocket)
Kiki: I guess I’ll be on my way. Looks like my friends will be disappointed.
(A short pause, then Tamatoa scoffs sneeringly)
Tamatoa: So I see.
(Suddenly, he kicked the door to the way out closed, much to the others’ concern. Then Tamatoa noticed them with an evil smirk)
Tamatoa: I’m not stupid. You took them from me! And nobody takes any type of treasure from me ever!
(He suddenly noticed the Ruby Slippers and got entranced)
Tamatoa: Hold up! Are those…?
(Kiki glared and shouted)
Kiki: Back off! They're mine!
Tamatoa: Oh, really?
(Tamatoa was about to use his other claw to grab them when Kiki kicked it away and blasted a magic spell blast at it with her free right hand)
Tamatoa: Ouch! You little...!
Kiki: Don’t touch them! Odette and the Blue Fairy the Good Witches gave them to me!
Tamatoa: (Mockingly) The Good Witches gave them to me!
(Then he got serious)
Tamatoa: I’ve eaten witches before! And you, little lady, look like a really good-looking, yet tacky, witch.
(Kiki got angry)
Kiki: I’m not tacky!
Tamatoa: Then how come you have the Ruby Slippers like the amateurish witch you are?
Kiki: (Snapping back) Then how come you came to be so…. Shiny?
Kiki’s group except Kiki: Yeah?
(Tamatoa got surprised by that question, and then leered evilly at them)
Tamatoa: Do you expect me to tell you my life story?
(Then he brightened up)
Tamatoa: Then I shall gladly tell you, in song form!
(He kicks a nearby small clamshell and a sparkling conch shell floating above Tamatoa’s shell like a disco ball and Tamatoa began singing as Kiki's group got calmly concerned)
Tamatoa: Well, Tamatoa hasn’t always been this glam
I was a drag little crab once
Now I know I can be happy as a clam
Because I’m beautiful baby
(He begins to dance around slowly)
Tamatoa: Did your good witches say
"Listen to your heart?"
"Be who you are on the inside?"
I need four words
To tear their argument apart
Your good witches lied
(He then danced around rhythmically)
Tamatoa: I’d rather be shiny
Like a treasure
From a sunken pirate wreck
Scrub the deck
And make it look shiny
I will sparkle
Like a wealthy woman’s neck
(He noticed some flying fish above)
Tamatoa: Just a sec
(He begins luring flying fish towards him with his glowing shell)
Tamatoa: Don’t you know?
Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb
They chase anything that glitters
Beginners
Oh, and here they come, come, come
To the brightest thing that glitters
(He eats the flying fishes, much to Kiki's group’s disgust)
Tamatoa: Mm, fish dinners
(He then proceeded to start slowly lowering Kiki towards his mouth, much to her and her friends’ shock)
Tamatoa: I just love free food
Chorus: (Voice-over) Free food
Tamatoa: And you look like seafood
Chorus: (Voice-over) Seafood
(Getting angry and determined, Kiki then gave a powerful kick at Tamatoa’s face just near the mouth, as well as blast a magic blast at his face, causing him to scream in pain a bit and drop her. Quackerjack then caught her with his bouncy clown doll)
Kiki: Thanks!
Quackerjack: You’re welcome!
(After Quackerjack packs his bouncy doll, Kiki's group quickly run out after pushing the door open when Tamatoa kicked bioluminescent algae at them, clouding up the area. Despite coughing and making some of the members of Kiki's group sneeze a bit, Kiki's group make it out thanks to Ray using his lit-up rear to temporally blind Tamatoa, ran far away a bit, and panted in concern)
Kiki: Everyone here?
Christopher: I hope.
(Suddenly, they noticed Yuki, Jiji, Mushu, Cri-Kee, and the Dream Eater pets not with them)
Satsuki: Wait, where’s Yuki, Jiji, Mushu, Cri-Kee, and the Dream Eater pets?!
(Suddenly, they heard Yuki, Jiji, Mushu, Cri-Kee, and the Dream Eater pets scream a bit and they looked and saw to their horror, Tamatoa carrying the eighteen poor animals/creatures into his lair with his claws and then slammed the door shut. Knowing they must go back and save Yuki, Jiji, Mushu, Cri-Kee, and the Dream Eater pets, Kiki's group bravely ran back to the lair and silently climbed up the clamshell towards the open top)
Coming up: Kiki’s group, despite Tamatoa catching them and almost sending Zelda and Elise flying, manage to save Yuki, Jiji, Mushu, Cri-Kee, the Dream Eater pets, Zelda, and Elise and race to escape to the other side of the trench before Tamatoa catches them again.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:The Wizard of Oz Parodies
Category:Ozma
Category:Disney Princess Fanmakes
Category:Disney Princess Parodies