The Swan and the Owl

2002
Hermann watches the boy wistfully as Karla signs for her package. The young man can’t be more than sixteen, though Hermann can just make out a respectable goatee. His heart flutters as the boy leaves with a smile and a wink at Karla, who returns the smile but otherwise doesn’t act interested.
“He left his personal number on the receipt. Does anyone even respond to that?” She asks the room at large. Dietrich shrugs, buried in his books. Bastien doesn’t even look up from his video game. Only Hermann, pretending to read, responds.
“He liked you.” Karla tosses her hair and snorts, a family habit that Hermann finds embarrassing.
“I’m not interested in delivery boys.” Hermann rolls his eyes. His older sister is quite popular at school. Of course she can pick and choose her dates. Then Hermann sighs and closes his book. He doesn’t have to choose—no one wants him anyway.
“I’m going to go study.” Bastien waves behind him as his character runs across the screen. Karla doesn’t acknowledge her brother as she tears into her package.
“Actually, Hermann, can I speak with you for a minute?” Dietrich says as he rises and follows Hermann to his room. Hermann shrugs (also a bad Gottlieb habit) and sits down at his desk. He shuffles until his bound wings are as comfortable as he can get them (which is not comfortable at all) and he hooks his cane in its place.
“What did you need?” At twelve, Hermann has learned to get to the point. Otherwise people waste time trying to be polite. It’s a useful skill when dealing with the rare visitors to the Gottlieb home.
“Well, I’m going off to University soon and I wanted to know if there was anything that I could do for you before I leave.” Dietrich has always been protective; sometimes Hermann wonders if he cares only to shield the family. Whenever he thinks that way, Hermann remembers how Dietrich cared for him when he destroyed his leg and then he feels guilty.
“I’ll be fine. Karla will take care of me.” It pains Hermann to say that, but it’s true. He’s always needed his siblings to help him. His mother never did and their father’s special brand of care was not preferable.
Dietrich frowns as if he was expecting more. “You know that you can tell me anything.” He places a strong hand on Hermann’s knee for only a second, respecting Hermann’s distaste for touching.
“That delivery boy was cute.” As soon as he’s said it he regrets it. He’s going through puberty (and he’s catching up to Karla’s height, finally) and he’s just confused. But the winged boy has always found people attractive. It never matters what gender. Hermann spends hours on the computer after his schooling, admiring normal people. He varies his tastes without thinking.
“Really? Into older men, then?” Dietrich jokes, actually jokes, and Hermann gapes. That was not the reaction that he was expecting. Dietrich laughs at Hermann’s face.
“You don’t mind?” It occurs to Hermann that this is the kind of conversation that you have with your parents first. But then, his mother is dead and his father will disapprove. No sense is wasting time talking to him. It hits Hermann how much it will hurt if his siblings don’t like it. If Dietrich doesn’t like it. Because Dietrich is more of Hermann’s father than Lars Gottlieb has ever been.
“I want you to be happy, Manny. If that means you end up with a boy, that’s fine.” Dietrich is his quiet self, but Hermann can see the sincerity in his eyes. Dietrich has always been his favorite sibling.
“I don’t just like boys, though.” He wants so badly to share as he finally accepts that Dietrich is leaving soon for school. He’s terrified of how he will cope without his kind, strong older brother there.
“Oh? Well, then, I’ll keep an eye out for nice girls on campus.” Dietrich lays a soothing hand on Hermann’s shoulder as the boy looks lost and scared. “It’ll be all right, Manny.”
“Will you visit? Please say that you’ll visit.” His breath hitches but he doesn’t cry. “I--I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you as well, and I'll visit. I'll send you all lots of letters, too." Dietrich says with the sort of conviction that he reserves for his deepest values. The words comfort Hermann and he leans into his brother's touch.
"I'll miss you." Hermann says again. One tiny advantage of being so helpless is that Hermann has not learned to shame himself for his affection. They are his only true family; they must know it. Even if he's a winged thing, never truly human, they must know how much he feels for them.
"I love you, Kleines." Dietrich pulls Hermann into a hug and Hermann lets a few tears leak out as he envelopes his older brother with his great wings. He will miss Dietrich so much, but he knows that he will be there when he most needs him.
"I love you, too."
Category:Ficlet
Category:Pages in need of tags
Category:Birds of a Feather storyline
Category:Karla (mention)
Category:Hermann
Category:Hermann (ficlet)
Category:Dietrich
Category:Dietrich (ficlet)