Maroon Jr.'s Deal With Cloud and the Gangreen Gang/Borrowing the Camera

(Later, Cloud's group entered an office thanks to the secretary escorting them there. Inside the office, a young adult man and an editor are working on editing a cartoon reel. The young man is RK Maroon Jr.)
Secretary: Mr. Maroon Jr., Mr. Strife and his group are....
(Maroon Jr. holds his index finger up, indicating that he's saying "One minute." Then the secretary understood and turned to Cloud's group)
Secretary: He'll be right with you.
Maroon: No, no, no! Wait until he gets to his feet, then hit him with the boulder.
Editor: Right on it.
[The editor wheels the machine away and Maroon turns to Valiant.]
Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Valiant: Only there's no business like it. No business I know.
Maroon: Yeah, and there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You saw the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his work. You know why?
Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?
Maroon: Nah! He's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, he goes to pieces just like you or me. Read that. [Hands Valiant a newspaper.]
Valiant: [Reading aloud] "Seen cooing over Calamari with not so new sugar-daddy was Jessica Rabbit, wife of Maroon cartoon star Roger." What's this gotta do with me? [Hands paper back.]
Maroon: You're the private detective, you figure it out.
Valiant: Look, I don't have time for this.
Maroon: Look Valiant! His wife's poison, but he thinks she's Betty Crocker. I want you to follow her. Get me a couple of nice juicy pictures I can wise the rabbit up with.
Valiant: Forget it. I don't work Toontown.
Maroon: Ey, what's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown.
Valiant: Well get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going.
Maroon: Whoah fella! You don't want to go to Toontown, you don't have to go to Toontown. Nobody said you had to go to Toontown anyway. [Forcing Valiant into a seat] Have a seat Valiant. The rabbit's wife sings at a joint called the Ink and Paint Club. Toon review. Strictly humans only. O.K.? So what do you think Valiant?
[Valiant is more interested in the drinks cabinet behind Maroon.]
Maroon: ...Well?
Valiant: [Getting up to make himself a drink] The job's gonna cost you a hundred bucks, plus expenses.
Maroon: A hundred bucks?! That's ridiculous!
Valiant: So's the job!
Maroon: Alright, alright. You've got your hundred bucks. Have a drink, Eddie.
Valiant: I don't mind if I do. [Looks out of the window]
Background: Look I've got it. Careful Dave. I've got it. Dave, you're gonna drop it. I'm not gonna drop it! You're dropping it!
[Some workmen drop some large wooden boxes releasing some toon chairs with instruments which begin to play. As the villains from Sleeping Beauty and a lizard from Alice in Wonderland. As Valiant watches, a pair of eyes suddenly appear at the window. It's a familiar flying elephant from Dumbo.]
<Screech!>
Valiant: AH!!
[Eddie cowers under the drink cabinet]
Maroon: Kind of jumpy, aren't you, Valiant? It's just Dumbo.
Valiant: [Getting up from beneath the drinks cabinet and taking the check off of Maroon.] I know who it is.
Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney. Him and half the cast of Fantasia. [Opens blinds] Best part is... they work for peanuts! [He throws a handful of peanuts out of the window and Dumbo flies off sucking them up with his trunk.]
Valiant: Well, I don't work for peanuts. Where's the other fifty?
Maroon: Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job.
Valiant: You've been hanging around rabbits too long. [He leaves the studio passing an ostrich from Dance of The Hours and a frog on the stairs. It was the Fantasia festival. Valiant looks to his right where a sax player is playing The Sorcerer's Apprentice without Sorcerer Mickey, to some brooms sweeping by themselves. From behind them emerges a stork on a bike, apparently a postman, and as he rides by he begins to lose his balance and crashes sending letters everywhere. As he reaches the bottom of the steps a hippo from Dance of the Hours bumps into him.]
Hippo: Oh! Excuse me.
[Valiant walks past a group of cows practicing their lines.]
Cows: Moo. Moo! Moo? Moo...
[The hippo sits on a bench next to a workman and the bench promptly collapses, catapulting the man into the sky.]
Hippo: Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed.
[ Bugs Bunny, Goofy, and the other Saturday's toons are dismissed. Valiant crosses the road and tries to catch a tram. He shows the conductor the check Maroon gave him]
Goofy: Garsh! [Laughing] Hi, dear!
Conductor: What do I look like, a bank?
[Valiant waits for the tram to go past him and then swings himself onto the back, where two other kids are sitting. Another kid comes running after them.]
Kid #1: Wait for me.
Kid #2: Come on! Hurry up!
Kid #3: Hey Mister. Ain't you got a car?
Valiant: Who needs a car in L.A.? We've got the best public transportation system in the world.
[Valiant gets off outside his office. Across the road the sign above the tram station: THE WORLDS BEST PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM is being replaced by that of Clover Leaf Industries.]
Kids: See you later.
Valiant: Thanks for the cigarettes.
Kids: You bet. You got it.
Postman: Hi Eddie. How's it going?
Valiant: O.K. What you got for me?
Postman: The usual bills.
[Valiant throws the bills in the bin and crosses the road to the Terminal Station Bar.]
Valiant: Harry. You O.K.? [He passes a tram driver unconscious at one of the tables. He puts his hat, which had fallen off, back on his head and makes his way to the bar.] What's with Earl?
[The man he is asking is mute and writes his answer on a pad of paper: LAID OFF!]
Valiant: ...Laid off?
Soldier: A new outfit bought the red car. Some big company called Clover Leaf.
Valiant: No kidding! They bought the red car?
Soldier: Yeah. Put the poor guy on two weeks notice. Cut backs they said.
Valiant: Oh well. [grabs a drink] Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning, huh?
[Before Valiant can put the glass to his lips, a woman's hand covers it. He looks up. It’s his on-an-off girlfriend Dolores]
Dolores: Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday?
Valiant: Fish Special?
Dolores: [Taking the drink away from him.] My boss checks the books on Friday, and if I don't have that money I gave you back in the till, I'm gonna lose my job.
Valiant: Don't bust a button, Dolores, you've only got one left. [He shows her the check with a big smile on his face.]
Dolores: Fifty bucks? ...Where's the rest?
Valiant: [Looking hurt] Well, it's only a snoop job away. Have you got that camera of yours? Mine's in the shop.
Dolores: Wouldn't be the pawn shop by any chance, would it?
Valiant: Look. Come on, Dolores. You need the other fifty, I need the camera.
[Dolores gets the camera from behind the till and puts it in front of Valiant.]
Valiant: Any film in there?
Dolores: Should be. Haven't had that roll developed since our trip to Catalina. Sure was a long time ago. [She is having bagels in the basket.]
Valiant: Yeah, it was a long time ago. We'll have to do that again sometime.
Dolores: [Holding down the crockery as a tram drives past, shaking the building.] Yeah, sure, Eddie. Paper even good?
Valiant: Just check the scrawl.
Dolores: R.K. Maroon? As in Maroon Cartoons?
Angelo: Maroon Cartoons? Hey! So who's your client, Mr. Detective to the stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel? Heh, heh, heh.
Dolores: What do you want to drink?
Angelo: I'll take a beer, Dol. So what happened, huh? Someone kidnap Dinky Doodle?
Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.
Angelo: [Cracking boiled egg.] Hey. Wait a minute, wait a minute! I know. You're working for little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep and you’re gonna help her find them! Hey? Heh, heh, heh. Ha, ha, ha!
[Valiant, his patience run out, kicks the stool from under Angelo who falls on his jaw on the edge of the bar.]
Angelo: ...Ungh!
Valiant: Get this straight, meatball: I... don't... work... for toons!
[Eddie stuffs the boiled egg into Angelo's mouth and stomps out of the bar.]
Angelo: [Looking at the disappearing Valiant.] So what's his problem?
Dolores: Toon killed his brother.
Patrons: What? Huh?
Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Fanmakes
Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Parodies