Scene 1 (Vileness Fats)

Scene 1 of The Residents' abandoned feature film Vileness Fats was shot by the group in the early 1970s, possibly in one of the living areas of their headquarters at 20 Sycamore Street, San Francisco.
The sequence introduces conjoined twin tag-team wrestlers Arf and Omega Berry (Palmer Eiland and George Ewart), who are first seen sitting in a motel room on the outskirts of the village of Vileness Flats, watching a news bulletin showing footage of a battle between a group of defenseless villagers and an invading gang of renegade Bell Boys. 
The duo invoke the immortal Native American priestess Weescoosa with the chant/musical number "Kick A Cat". This song was released by Residents, Uninc. in 1972 on their debut EP Santa Dog (where it is instead titled "Aircraft Damage"). 
Footage from the sequence (with a mostly newly-recorded soundtrack) was released on the VHS featurette Whatever Happened To Vileness Fats? in 1984. The scene is not included in the 2001 Icky Flix "concentrate" version.
== Official synopsis ==
Siamese twin tag team wrestlers, Arf and Omega Berry (Palmer Eiland and George Ewart), are first seen in a motel room. Omega is asleep as Arf watches a news bulletin about a fight between a band of renegade Bell Boys and a group of virtually defenseless townspeople.
Hoping to turn the battle from a minor bloodbath to a major massacre, the Berry Boys recite a magic chant, designed to summon an enchanted Indian priestess, Weescoosa (Sally Lewis), who spends eternity rescuing short people from life threatening situations.
Curiously, since the combatants on BOTH sides of the battle are one-armed midgets, the resulting scenario is uniquely no-win AND no-lose. The scene ends with Arf and Omega chanting: "Kick a cat, kick a cat, kick a cat today, fish are dumb, pluck an eye from one."Vileness Fats at The Residents Historical
== Screenplay excerpt ==
The below is an excerpt from the original Vileness Fats screenplay, transcribed by noted fan and collector Ima Buddy, and included in his 1992 document Ima Buddy's Totally Impartial Companion to Uncle Willie's Highly Opinionated BIG MAMAS. 
Minor formatting changes have been made by a Mysterious Spanish Lady to suit the format of this wiki; otherwise the text is presented as it appears in the Totally Impartial Companion. The Ladies extend their thanks to Ima Buddy for graciously allowing us to share these excerpts on the wiki.
=== Scene 1: Arf & Omega in Living Room ===
(Camera is pulling away from TV - newscast is on TV with sword fight loop showing - Arf & Omega are on couch; Omega is asleep, Arf is watching TV.)
;Arf:
:Hey mushmellon, wake up! Wake up! You're missing some mighty tasty killing here.
;Omega:
:What! Huh? What! Go gargle lava mackerel mouth! I need my beauty rest!
;Arf:
:Beauty rest! Haw! Haw! Okay, you'll be sorry! (Turns to TV and says to himself) I just love it when that ole head pops right off there.
;Omega:
:Head pops off! Head pops off! (Opens eyes wide with a start and looks at TV) Hey!
;Arf:
:See! I told you! Where's my beer? (Grabs beer and starts drinking)
;Omega:
:Say, that's not bad; not bad at all - but I know how would turn this into a real genuwine massacre (gets more serious) and also, dear... Is it not the responsibility of all the creatures who breathe to come to the aid of those in need? Why, succor is the stable that an able bodied man must render. Is not...
;Arf:
:(Eyes getting bigger at this outburst of idealism until finally he can't stand it any more and sprays beer all over the room) Sucker is the stable that an able bodied must render sucker is the stable? Huh! Stupid is the stable your horse is in buddy boy!!!
;Omega:
:(Is all set with the next insult when he hears Arf's last line - His face goes blank) Stupid is the stable my horse is in? Stupid is the stable my horse is in...
;Arf:
: Now, c'mon! If you can juice this thing up some, go ahead on.
;Omega:
:Huh? Oh yeah. Now come on over here. (Pulls A across room) See this book...
;Arf:
:Book!? What about the mass-a-cree?
;Omega:
:Just wait a minute dimwit and I'll explain. Now see (Points to book) This here part tells about this mystical Indian priestess named Weescoosa who spends all eternity cruising around rescuing short people.
;Arf:
:What? Weesa-hoosa?
;Omega:
:Weescoosa, dummy, Weescoosa! And all we have to do is give this chant and she'll be on her way to those short people.
;Arf:
: Weescoosa, huh? Chant, huh? (Rolls his eyes in disgust) Well, this better work 'cause I want more action!! Action! Blood! Guts! Grrrrrrrrr -- (Turns to Omega with eyes wide) What do I do?
;Omega:
:Here! Right here! (Points at book) Now let's start together...
===Aircraft Damage===
;Arf & Omega:
:Weescoosa! Weescoosa!
; Arf:
:New Mexico delivers Weescoosa...
;Omega:
:But the message must be anyway;
;Arf:
:Adenhauer's gilded flower's towered over me for years, but now I need a new excuse;
;Arf & Omega:
:Weescoosa! Weescoosa! Weescoosa!
;Omega:
:Knows the way.
;Arf:
:She'll free that tree strewn river gravy --
; Omega:
:Rushin' down the animal death knoll stream;
;Arf & Omega:
:Feeding mouths with wings of trouts and wheeling trays of peckered snouts
;Arf:
:To inside civil eyed horny totin' baking pies;
;Omega:
:(Quieter) Eyes are big for what they wait.
;Arf:
:But I don't even CARE!!! (Loud again)
;Omega:
:Ah boy! Hamburgers... Mayonnaise... Mustard... Kicking cats and Vileness Fats for caviar --
;Arf:
: (At camera) Do you ever?
;Omega:
:Do you ever?
;Arf & Omega:
:Wonder who you are?
;Omega:
:Well, kick a cat --
;Arf:
:Kick a cat --
;Arf & Omega:
:Kick a cat today!
;Omega:
:Fish are dumb --
;Arf & Omega:
:Pluck an eye from one!
(Repeats "Kick a cat, kick a cat, kick a cat today; Fish are dumb pluck an eye from one" several times - eventually camera starts to rise)Ima Buddy, Ima Buddy's Totally Impartial Companion to Uncle Willie's Highly Opinionated BIG MAMAS, 1992
==See also==
*Vileness Fats
*Mole Show/Whatever Happened To Vileness Fats?
*Arf and Omega Berry
*"Aircraft Damage"
==External links and references==
*Vileness Fats at The Residents Historical
Category:Vileness Fats
Category:Whatever Happened To Vileness Fats?
Category:Arf and Omega Berry