New Kelp Anarchy

New Kelp Anarchy is the 7th episode of NKC's 2nd season, written by Locknloaded. It released February 5th, 2022.
== Plot==
Everything falls apart.
==Transcript==
Narrator: Previously on NKC:
Squidward: Plankton, why do you have this many guns?
Plankton: I collect them. It’s one of my hobbies.
Squidward: But you can build laser beams, and other cool shit. Why do you need guns?
Plankton: Stop questioning, and just grab a damn gun!
Rex: Hi, Squidward! Why are you screaming?
Squidward: I’m sorry, Rex, but I’ve never seen you like this before. Your smile, it’s really putting me off.
Patrick: You seem more cheery than normal.
Rex: Oh, don’t mind that. I’m just glad to be off the stuff!
SpongeBob: KRABS, WHAT IN NEPTUNE’S NAME ARE YOU DOING!
Krabs: JUST, LET ME EXPLAIN!
(Patrick continues vomiting in the background)
(Plankton fires a handgun in the air, stunning Squidward)
Squidward: Plankton! What the hell?
Plankton: I live for this shit, you wuss! Grab a gun and start firing!
(Squidward grabs his gun, and fires it into the air; mutliple rally members cheer, as Squidward grows a smile on his face)
Squidward: That felt good! I totally get this now!
Krillanon Rallier: Let’s show the big government who’s boss! Stop the steal!
(they all begin cheering, including Squidward and Plankton, who laugh evily as the camera zooms in on both of their faces, while they’re still laughing)
Narrator: And now, the next part:
(fade to NKC in turmoil; Krillanon supporters are destroying the city, buildings are on fire, and Perch Perkins is in the middle of it all)
Perch: This is Perch Perkins, reporting from New Kelp City. There is currently a riot breaking out in the city, and I wish I was still in Bikini Bottom because I feel every second I am here my life is in danger.
(A rioter grabs a trashcan and hits Perch on the head so hard he falls to the ground)
Perch: (Weakly, in pain) Now back to you, Phil… (the rioter suddenly begins beating Perch up more)
(Sudden cut to the Bikini Bottom News Station, where a news anchor sits on the desk)
Phil: Thank you, Perch. Now onto the sports.
(Cut back to New Kelp; Rex is watching the carnage in fear)
Rex: I TOLD THAT MOTHERFUCKER TO NOT GO ON THOSE GOD DAMN WEBSITES! (Facepalms) I knew this would happen! God damnit!
(a trashcan rolls next to his feet)
Rex: Oh, what’s this?
(Rex picks up the trashcan, and inside is some cocaine; he drops the trashcan out of shock)
Rex: NO! NO! NO! NEVER AGAIN! (Violently kicks the trashcan away) I CAN’T GO BACK DOWN THAT PATH! NEVER! (Shakes a bit, runs towards the trashcan screaming, and grabs the cocaine out violently; he is about to sniff it when he realizes what he’s doing) I can’t do this! What am I thinking?? (Blankly stares at the cocaine for a few seconds) …but it brought me joy with every sniff. Maybe just one, and -
(suddenly, a Krillanon rioter comes out of nowhere and steals Rex’s cocaine, snorting it right in front of his face, running off with bloodshot eyes screaming)
Rex: (holding back frustrations, deep exhale) it’s okay; that was for your better. You will never go back to the stuff. Just walk away.
(Rex hesitantly walks away; camera follows him, until he walks past Krabs’ apartment. Krabs can be seen staring out his window. Fade in to krabs inside)
Krabs: So much mayhem… oh god… my war flashbacks! (falls to his knees, holding his head, struggling and screaming) SO MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE! DEAD! WHY COULDN’T I HAVE DIED ALONGSIDE THEM! AND FUCKED THEIR CORPSES! (Krabs suddenly puts both his hands on his mouth) What the fuck?! Where did that come from?! Why would I say that? My god… 
(Krabs slowly lifts his hands from his mouth, and sighs, looking back out the window. Outside, he sees multiple bodies on the streets, as the city is on fire and things are exploding)
Krabs: So many bodies… so many corpses to- (Krabs falls to the floor screaming) I DID NOT FUCKING SAY THAT! WHERE THE HELL IS THIS DELINQUENT TALK COMING FROM? (hyperventilates, walks away from the window in cold sweat) Maybe I just need to meditate! I’ve never done that before, but I’ve seen other people do it, it can’t be too hard.
(Krabs sits criss-crossed on the floor and hums. We see inside his mind; he is in a sea of money, fishing rigorously. When he gets a catch, he eagerly reels it in, however the catch is a dead fish’s body. Krabs cheers in delight as he begins fucking it. Soon after, Krabs exits his mind screaming, but then randomly calms down)
Krabs: I see now. I was born to fuck corpses. I know what I must do.
(Krabs turns to face the doorknob; cut to Squidward and Plankton in the rally)
Plankton: DON’T YOU FEEL ALIVE, SQUIDWARD?
Squidward: YOU SAID IT, PLANKTON! (fires gun three times in the air) THIS IS A THRILL! (Runs to a cop car, tips it over, pisses all over it, and lights it on fire)
Plankton: Did you have to piss on it?
Squidward: It makes it more flammable, I think.
Plankton: You have so many problems.
Squidward: Eh, whatever. 
(A rallier walks in front of them)
Rallier: You'd better move, you two.
Squidward: uh… Why?
(The rallier pulls out a molotov cocktail and lunches it into a random building, where it bursts into flames)
Plankton: Holy shit! Where did you get that fuckin' thing?
Rallier: Just grab a bottle of beer, light it on fire, and throw it.
Squidward: (takes out beer bottle, lights it on fire) I gots it.
Plankton: wait, did you just have that on hand?
Squidward: Do you know just how stressful my life is?
Plankton: this just got depressing.
(Squidward throws the molotov and it lands in a random building, making it burn)
Squidward: WOOHOO! ANARCHY!
Plankton: I thought this was for the Stop the Steal cause!
Rallier: It is! We're trying to get rid of the government!
Squidward: Hell yes! Hate the government love the fucking dole!
Rallier: what the hell does that mean?
Other rallier: (points off-screen) WHAT IS THAT?!
(They look off-screen and to their horror, they see Mr. Krabs having sex with all the corpses laying on the street)
Squidward: KRABS, WHAT THE FUCK?! (Vomits)
Krabs: It's a long story! Just let me do my thing.
Squidward: Dude, we are trying to overthrow the fucking government and even we think this is too far!
Voice from behind: ahem.
(Krabs looks behind him and sees the same trenchcoat who hired him is standing behind him)
Krabs: Oh, uh, hi, you.
Trenchcoat: You were late for today's filming.
Krabs: Fuck! FUCK! I FORGOT!
Trenchcoat: Maybe you wont forget now that youre FIRED.
Krabs: How did you find me, anyway?
Trenchcoat: we placed a tracking trip firmly up your ass. Pleasure doing business with you, now fuck off.
(The trenchcoat walks away when out of rage, Mr. Krabs tackles him and strangles him to death, then proceeding to fuck his corpse)
Krabs: I feel so alive!!!!!
Squidward: well, that was about the grossest thing Ive ever seen.
(Suddenly, police sirens go off in the background and helicopters are heard overhead)
Squidward: Oh, crap.
(Sudden cut to Rex biting his own hat, shaking)
Rex: Just one dose… just one dose… that’s all… one more dose and im off the stuff for good…
(He begins pacing back and forth)
Rex: JUST ONE DOSE… all i need… JUST ONE…
(Rex eventually screams, running to a trashcan, digging through, and finding a bag of cocaine)
Rex: MY BELOVED! I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN!
(Rex hesitates a bit, and then slams the bag onto his face, spazzing randomly and screaming in delight, continuing snorting the cocaine)
Rex: I FEEL ALIVE!
(Rex laughs hard and sniffs more, but he then falls over, foaming at the mouth, and passing out; Cut back to the rioters, who are in shock when the police and SWAT show up, barricading them)
SWAT Officer: There they are! Fire if they make any (notices Krabs fucking a corpse) OH MY GOD IS THAT ONE FUCKING A CORPSE?
SWAT Officer 2: I’ll handle this. Go throw up.
(The other swat officer runs away to throw up; cut to the rioters noticing they’re being barricaded)
Squidward: Uh, this ain’t good.
Plankton: Burn their cars! We got weapons.
Rallier: This is the fucking SWAT team, dumbass! They would shoot us on sight if we did that! 
Rallier 2: Just remain as still as you can. Maybe they’ll try negotiating.
(Cut back to the SWAT)
SWAT: (speaking through megaphone) THIS IS THE SWAT! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! SURRENDER PEACEFULLY, AND-
(Suddenly, a rioter rushes towards the negotiator with a gun, but gets shot dead on sight by all the officers)
Rallier: We’re so dead.
SWAT: Open fire!
(Several ralliers get shot dead by the SWAT, as they try to attack; Shortly after, the ones who tried attacking are all dead on the floor, and the ones who just stayed still are spared)
Squidward: Wow, lots of people were looking for trouble.
Plankton: How many of us are left?
Squidward: I’m counting 10, including us both.
Plankton: 200 people participated in this rally. God fucking damnit.
(Cut to Krabs looking at all the corpses that surround him)
Krabs: I’m in corpse heaven! (Rushes to fuck a corpse, but gets shot in the shoulder by an officer, causing him to scream in pain)
Officer: You’re coming with us.
Krabs: What the hell did I do?
Officer: We saw you fucking all those corpses. Now get in the car.
(Krabs is handcuffed, and dragged away. Squidward and Plankton are also handcuffed)
Officer: You’re coming with us too!
Squidward: Aw fuck, I thought we’d get off easy.
Officer: It doesn’t work like that.
Plankton: Don’t I get a phone call?!
Officer: In prison, you do! 
Plankton: Fucking shit.
(Cut to Rex on the floor, still blacked out by cocaine; the therapist from his rehab walks by)
Therapist: Oh, rex. Looks like you’re going back to rehab. (sighs, as he picks up the body)
(Zoom out to reveal SpongeBob and Patrick were watching everything unfold)
SpongeBob: So wait, now it’s just us here.
Patrick: What do you mean?
SpongeBob: Well, Squidward and Plankton were arrested, Krabs was also arrested, and Rex is going to rehab, it seems.
Patrick: Huh… 
SpongeBob: So, what do we do now?
Patrick: I dunno. What do you wanna do?
SpongeBob: Move out as fast as I can!
Patrick: I agree with that sentiment.
(Patrick and SpongeBob walk off as the episode fades to black)
Narrator: To be continued!
==Trivia==
*The original name for this episode was "Everything's Fucked."
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