Suit Warehouse Quotes

:Dwight: Stone and Son Suit Warehouse recently lost their paper provider. They're a family owned business [chuckles]. Jim and I used to clean up at those. We'd go in pretending to be family – brothers. We did it at a family owned law firm, at a family owned construction company, and a family owned motorcycle store. Jim and Dwight Shrupert. I was the dynamic, likeable winner that was doted upon by Mom. And Jim was the closeted foot fetishist pretending to belong. The client never knew any of that, but I knew.
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:Dwight: [on the phone] I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills, Jimbo, because it's time for another episode of "Handsome and Stinky, paper brothers for hire".
:Jim: Sorry, Stinky, can't do it. Too busy.
:Dwight: Oh, god, this again? You're Stinky.
:Jim: Okay. There's no possible way I can get there, so just ask Phyllis. She can be your older sister or something.
:Dwight: Phyllis, my sister? More like my dead great great grandmother who died of stupidity.
:Phyllis: I have ears, Dwight.
:Dwight: Oh, do you really have ears, Phyllis? Like all human beings? We all have ears. [on phone] See what you leave me with here, Jim?
:Jim: Hey, I'm in Philadelphia right now.
:Dwight: How is that my problem? Get in your car and drive down here. You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles per hour.
:Jim: Huh. How long would it take me if I drove 300 miles an hour?
:Dwight: Mmm. That's a good... question. 300 times... [Jim hangs up] 180... Um that comes to 25 minutes. [realizes Jim hung up] Yes. Oh, well, thank you Jim. Yes, I am better than you. Thanks for acknowledging that. Okay, bye bye. Love you.
Category:Season 9 quotes