MASH

MASH (stylized as M*A*S*H on the film's poster and art) is a 1970 American satirical black comedy film directed by Robert Altman and written by Ring Lardner, Jr., based on Richard Hooker's novel MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors. It is the only feature film in the M*A*S*H franchise and became one of the biggest films of the early 1970s by 20th Century Fox. It stars Donald Sutherland, Tom Skerritt and Elliott Gould, with Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall, René Auberjonois, Gary Burghoff, Roger Bowen, Michael Murphy and, in his film debut, professional football player Fred Williamson. 
The film depicts several subplots around a unit of medical personnel stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (MASH) during the Korean War, although the subtext is more about the Vietnam War. The film inspired the popular and critically acclaimed TV series of the same name, which ran from 1972 to 1983.
==Plot Summary==
In 1951, two new surgeons, Captains "Hawkeye" Pierce and "Duke" Forrest, arrive in a stolen Jeep at the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. They are womanizing, heavy-drinking, mischievous rule-breakers but they soon prove to be top-notch surgeons. They soon clash with their new tent mate Major Frank Burns, who is both a religious man and an inferior surgeon. Hawkeye and Duke pressure the unit's commander, Lt. Col. Henry Blake, to have Burns removed from "their" tent. They also ask him to apply for a specialist thoracic surgeon, or "chest cutter" to be assigned to the 4077th.
=== The Chest Cutter and the new Head Nurse ===
The new chest cutter arrives but remains very ambiguous about who he is and where he is from; Hawkeye is convinced he has seen the new man somewhere before. It is only after surgery during an impromptu football game that Hawkeye recalls a game he played in college in which he scored the only touchdown by intercepting a pass from the opposing team's quarterback; the new thoracic surgeon was that quarterback, Captain "Trapper" John McIntyre. 
Major Margaret Houlihan, the camp's newly assigned Head Nurse, arrives by chopper and is greeted by Henry (who mistakenly refers to her as "O'Houlihan" several times). In the post-op ward, Trapper sees Frank Burns unjustly blame Private Boone, an orderly, for a patient's death. Henry gives Houlihan a tour of the camp, and just as they arrive in the room where Trapper is confronting Burns he punches him knocking him to the floor. Henry confines Trapper to the Swamp and then apologizes to Houlihan saying "We try to remember we're a military organization", "to which Houlihan coolly replies, "I should certainly hope so".
=== Chief Surgeon Trapper ===
While Henry is away visiting General Hammond at the 325th Evac Hospital, Trapper, having just been appointed by Henry to be the 4077th's new Chief Surgeon, leads the camp in a big celebration in the form of a wild party. Burns and Houlihan are appalled and write a report to the General, but as they do, they give in to their own repressed passions and engage in a sexual encounter, which is monitored in the darkened orderly room by Trapper, Duke, Radar and a few others. when Dago Red arrives at the office door he invites himself in thinking they're listening to an episode of The Bickersons on the radio, but then awkwardly excuses himself when he realizes otherwise. When they hear Houlihan growling to Frank to "Kiss my hot lips!", Duke latches onto the phrase, and Trapper decides that everyone else in camp should hear them going at it, and with a flip of the switch, the tryst is broadcast over the PA. Hawkeye hears it while doing surgery and snidely remarks, "Frank Burns is doing a bit of dilatation and curretage", while in the Swamp, Painless remarks that "the new Major is having a dream", to which another remarks "She's plugged in". But when Houlihan hears her own voice feeding back over the PA, she immediately stops and gives Frank the bum's rush out of her tent. 
The next morning in the Mess Tent, Trapper and Duke make fun of "Hot Lips", while Hawkeye quietly taunts Frank about the encounter, goading Burns to jump him. Burns is eventually sedated, restrained with a strait jacket, and permanently shipped stateside as the PA plays Sayonara.
=== Suicide is Painless ===
Dago Red secretly tells Hawkeye that Walt "Painless Pole" Waldowski, the unit's dentist, has consulted him about a problem. Mulcahy feels unable to divulge any details because Walt confided in him during confession, so Hawkeye visits Painless himself, who reluctantly mentions that he suffered a "lack of performance" with a visiting nurse and now, believing he may have latent homosexual tendencies, wants to commit suicide. Hawkeye tells this to the other surgeons in the Swamp, and when Painless arrives, Trapper suggests the "black capsule", a fictitious fast-acting poison. At a farewell banquet that imitates The Last Supper, Painless takes the capsule (actually a sleeping pill) and falls asleep in a coffin. Hawkeye persuades his girlfriend, Lt. Schneider, to spend the night (her last night in camp before going home) with Painless and cure him of his "problem". The stunt works, and the next morning Painless is back to his old self again, while Schneider flies off home- with a big, satisfied smile on her face.
=== Is "Hot Lips" a real blonde? ===
Duke announces that he is partial to blondes, prompting Hawkeye to declare that Duke is attracted to Hot Lips, which Duke denies, suggesting that she probably isn't even a natural blonde; Hawkeye bets $20 that she is, but since they have no way to find the truth, they develop an elaborate plan to isolate Hot Lips the showers, and on cue from Trapper, counterweights are used to raise the wall of the shower tent, exposing Hot Lips naked to the entire camp. In angry hysterics, Houlihan storms to Henry's tent and screams at him to have Duke, Trapper and Hawkeye court-martialed, threatening to resign her commission if he doesn't. Henry, still in bed with his mistress, dismisses Hot Lips' complaint and calls her bluff. Houlihan leaves in total defeat. (By the way, Duke wins the bet.)
=== Ho-Jon ===
Ho-Jon, a local teen who works in the camp, is drafted into the South Korean Army and is taken to Seoul for his physical. Hawkeye attempts to disqualify him by giving him drugs to elevate his blood pressure and heartbeat. But the physician is not fooled and refuses to disqualify Ho-Jon, claiming that, working at a medical post, the youngster may have come into contact with drugs. The doctor insists on keeping Ho-Jon under his observation until his symptoms clear, and Hawkeye reluctantly has to let him go. (Near the film's end, as Hawkeye and the others are playing poker in the Swamp, they notice a jeep pulling away with a shrouded body loaded onto the back, presumably a now-deceased Ho-Jon.)
=== The Pros from Dover ===
Trapper is ordered to proceed to Kokura, Japan, to operate on the GI son of a U.S. Congressman. Seeing an opportunity to play golf, he takes Hawkeye to assist. Billing themselves as "the pros from Dover", the doctors mischievously invade the hospital and order the patient into surgery within the hour; the gas passer turns out to be "Me Lay" Marston, an old friend of Hawkeye's. During surgery, the hospital's snobbish commander, Colonel Merrill, barges in to the OR and demands an explanation, but Hawkeye warns him that if he infects the patient they will tell the Congressman who did it. The surgery is successful, but Hawkeye and Trapper are cornered by the MPs and escorted to Merrill's office. Merrill threatens them with court-martial, but they remind him that by saving the Congressman's son's life they just "bailed you out", and they leave.
That night, while relaxing at Dr. Yamachi's New Era Hospital and Whorehouse (where Me Lay moonlights as a doctor), Hawkeye and Trapper are alerted to a Japanese-American baby with a serious medical problem. Taking advantage of their status as medical heroes, they go to the military hospital to operate, but are stopped by Merrill until they incapacitate and anesthetize him, then take blackmail photos of him in bed with one of the doxies from the whorehouse.
After their return from Japan, Hawkeye and Trapper immediately go on duty for several hours. Afterward, they trudge back to the Swamp only to find the door locked; Duke tells them to give him a couple of minutes, but when they find him sneaking Hot Lips out underneath the back of the tent they make fun of both of them.
=== The Game ===
General Hammond visits camp and invites the 4077th to play a "friendly" game of football against his own unit, the 325th EVAC. Hammond then suggests they make it more interesting by wagering money-- five or six thousand dollars, and says so to Henry. Hawkeye comes up with a plan: First, they get Henry to apply for a specific neurosurgeon: Dr. Oliver Harmon "Spearchucker" Jones, a former pro football player for the San Francisco 49ers, then bet only half of their money up front and keep the ringer (Jones) out of the first half of the game. Hawkeye reasons that once the other team has racked up some easy points and become confident enough to offer good odds to bet the rest of the money, the 4077th brings in Jones for the second half. But Hammond has more strings to pull than the 4077th and is able to recruit some ringers of his own.
The game gets underway, and even though the 4077th fights back with illegal injuries and by drugging the 325th's running back, the 325th runs up a 16-0 lead (two touchdowns with extra points, and a safety) by the end of the first half. Henry goes to Hammond to press the bets, and as expected, Hammond confidently ups the odds, and Henry throws in the last of their betting stash. 
Jones enters the game at the start of the 3rd quarter, catching the ball on the ensuing kickoff and running it all the way back for a score; the 4077th manages to score a second touchdown but fail to kick the extra point either time. The contest devolves in to a free-for-all with players from both sides falling to injury, but the 4077th gets Hammond's other ringer ejected from the game. With only seconds left in the fourth quarter, the 4077th is still trailing 16-12, and Jones comes up with a "center-eligible play", in which the center (Vollmer) takes the ball back from the quarterback (Trapper) on the snap, and then hide it under his jersey and run for the winning touchdown while everyone else chases a phantom ball. The play succeeds, and the 4077th wins 18-16.
Soon after the football game, Hawkeye and Duke get their discharge orders and begin their own journey home-- in the same stolen Jeep they arrived in. As they depart, leaving Trapper and Jones behind, the PA announcer gets on the speaker and announces the closing credits for the film.
==Cast==
*Donald Sutherland as Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
*Elliott Gould as Capt. John Francis Xavier "Trapper John" McIntyre
*Tom Skerritt as Capt. Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest
*Sally Kellerman as Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan
*Robert Duvall as Major Frank Burns
*Roger Bowen as Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake
*René Auberjonois as Father John Patrick "Dago Red" Mulcahy
*John Schuck as Capt. Walter Koskiusko "The Painless Pole" Waldowski, DDS
*Carl Gottlieb as Capt. John "Ugly John" Black
*Danny Goldman as Capt. Murrhardt
*Corey Fischer as Capt. Dennis Patrick Bandini
*Jo Ann Pflug as Lt. Maria "Dish" Schneider
*Indus Arthur as Lt. Leslie
*Dawne Damon as Capt. Scorch
*Tamara Wilcox-Smith as Capt. Bridget "Knocko" McCarthy
*David Arkin as SSgt. Wade Douglas Vollmer/PA Announcer. (Note: In the movie, Duke called him "Lee".)
*Gary Burghoff as Cpl. "Radar" O'Reilly
*Ken Prymus as Pfc. Seidman
*Fred Williamson as Capt. Oliver Harmon "Spearchucker" Jones
*Michael Murphy as Capt. Ezekiel Bradbury "Me Lay" Marston IV
*Timothy Brown as Cpl. Judson
*Bud Cort as Pvt. Lorenzo Boone
*G. Wood as Brig. Gen. Charlie Hammond
*Kim Atwood as Ho-Jon
*Dale Ishimoto as Korean doctor
*Bobby Troup as SSgt. Gorman
*Marvin Miller as PA Announcer
==Trivia==
*For those more familiar with the TV series, Father Mulcahy is depicted as Irish/Italian in the film (rather than simply Irish on TV) and is nicknamed "Dago Red", "Dago" being an offensive term for Italians, and "Red" to describe his red hair and the wine used by Catholic priests in holy sacrament. By the time the M*A*S*H TV series premiered, Mulcahy was only briefly called "Red" on a couple of occasions by Hawkeye, but the nickname was completely dropped by the end of Season 1.
*Gary Burghoff (Radar) and G. Wood (Gen. Hammond) were the only two cast members to reprise their roles in the subsequent TV series, which premiered in 1972. Burghoff stayed with the show longer, while Wood was only a recurring player during the first few episodes of the first season.
*The dark comedy theme of rebellious, enterprising heroes vs. dimwitted military authority is not a new subject; other small screen examples include, but are not limited to:
**You'll Never Get Rich (later known as Sgt. Bilko)
**F Troop
**McHale's Navy
**Hogan's Heroes
Category:1970 films
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Category:American black comedy films
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Category:20th Century Fox films
Category:Films directed by Robert Altman