Stole Mom's Credit Card to Buy N64/Transcript

* Rebecca Parham: The Game Grumps played a couple episodes of Pokémon snap while I was making my last video and that jostle the memory from my childhood. I played video games when I was a kid.
* SomeThingElseYT: Ha! You in like 83 million millennials!
* Rebecca Parham: [To Adam] I didn't ask for your input, Adam! [Now to the viewers] And this is about to age me dramatically, because my first game console was the Sega Genesis.
* SomeThingElseYT: Oooooohhh. Granny, tell us the story of classic Sonic. You know, the good Sonic.
* Rebecca Parham: [To Adam] Adam, I SWEAR TO GOD!!! [BLEEP] [To the audience] As I was saying, my first console was the Sega Genesis. And yes, that meant I didn't grow up on Mario; I grew up on Sonic. My childhood in gaming was popping a game cartridge in and hearing that iconic "SEGA" while all the other kids on the street were like:
* [Rebecca Parham and SomeThingElseYT respectively melodically made and beatboxed the Super Mario theme]
* Rebecca Parham: Wait a minute! I'm getting ahead of myself. Nintendo didn't take over my life until middle school. My siblings and I grew up on Sega. We even had that notoriously difficult Lion King Sega game. We didn't beat it when we were kids, but in adulthood, my sister and I dusted off the cartridge one night and finally finished the game, without that famous cheat code, thank you very much. Get a ladder, kids. You ain't even close to our level.
* SomeThingElseYT: Aw, snap! Pokémon snap!
* Rebecca Parham: Speaking of that, in the sixth grade I got really into Pokémon. For my birthday, my parents got me a Game Boy Color and Pokémon Red and Blue. I remember being so obsessed with that game that I would put it away before bed, go to sleep and dream that I woke up in the middle of the night and continued playing it. And when I actually woke up and started playing it, I would wonder why I wasn't further along. [To the game] "Where the hell is my Dragonite?!". [To the audience] So, yeah. Pokémon was a really big deal for me, and when Nintendo announced that they were releasing the first Pokémon game for the N64, Pokémon snap, you know this little weeb was all over that. I went to my mom and very casually asked if she could order me Pokémon Snap. I also didn't have an N64, so I was gonna need one of those, too, and mama, being the kind and doting mother that she is, said:
* Ann Parham: "All right, fine.".
* Rebecca Parham: I was ECSTATIC! There was however, a slight problem, and some of you may even be too young to know what I'm talking about but [in an elderly voice] back in my day, we had this thing called [back to a normal voice] dial-up. To put it bluntly, dial-up internet was slow with the capital S, websites would randomly stop working, you couldn't use your landline phone while someone was online and this: [insert dial-up internet sound]. Ah, the sweet sounds of childhood. So my mom got on our family computer and went to Toys'R'Us (RIP Geoffrey). She tried ordering the N64 and Pokémon Snap, but because the internet was terrible back then, the website wasn't working and she couldn't get through. And back then, there wasn't much you could do about that except "try again later". So she put away her credit card in the desk drawer and said that she would try again tomorrow. But my little child brain was having none of that. Nuh-uh. The universe was out of order until I had my Pokémon Snap and N64 in hand. "Wrongs must be righted!". About an hour later, I went back to the computer when no one was around, I got online and found Pokémon Snap and the N64 (actually, this is the first time I ever ordered anything off the internet by myself, so good job me for figuring it out!). I was about to check out when I realized I'd forgotten a minor technicality: Things cost money. "Ah, right. Economics. Where am I gonna get money?". And then, I remembered something special had been left in the desk drawer. "*Gasp*. Mom's credit card!". You would think that a child would be more hesitant about using their parent's credit card without their permission. You know, maybe give it a second thought or work up a sweat at least, but NOPE! I was so laser focused on Pokémon that I didn't think twice about it. "It's for the greater good!" (What a jolly little thief I was).
* SomeThingElseYT: Wait, you stole your mom's credit card to buy something she was already gonna buy for you?
* Rebecca Parham: Yeah.
* SomeThingElseYT: Could you even really call that stealing?
* Rebecca Parham: Listen. I was a good kid by this age: I followed the rules, I listened to my parents so I was operating under this same logic: "It's not stealing if she was gonna buy it anyways!". To me, it felt more like, "problem-solving", but no. Go figure. Using someone's credit card without their permission under any circumstances is still considered stealing. And not to mention, when I scroll down to select a shipping option... "*Gasp* Overnight delivery?! I can have this tomorrow?!?! Sign me up! The Internet is awesome, I want to live there!!!". And I went to bed, satisfied that I would soon be playing the greatest game ever created on the greatest console ever created. The next morning, I got up for school and mom met me in the kitchen she told me that she would try again to get Pokémon Snap later that day. And me, being as naive as I was, said: "Haha, don't worry, mother. I got you covered. I already ordered it."
* Ann Parham: "You did what?!"
* Rebecca Parham: "Ordered it. Was really no problem. No need to thank me."
* Ann Parham: "How did you pay for it?!"
* Rebecca Parham: [sipping coffee] "Mmm. You left your credit card in the desk.". You ever get one of those looks from your parents where you instantly know, you messed up? "Uh..."
* Ann Parham: "Never. Touch my credit card. Again."
* Rebecca Parham: "Yes, ma'am!". The cherry on top of my transgression, later that same day, when my mom picked me up from school:
* Ann Parham: "You had it, OVERNIGHTED?!".
* Rebecca Parham: I had to wait two weeks before I could play my new game. I ended up waiting longer to play it than if I had just been patient from the get-go. Just goes to show, stealing is wrong, and I've never stolen anything since. Well, except maybe a few hearts. Hey, explainers an entertainers, editor Becca here. I forgot to record an outro bit special thanks to Adam of SomethingElseYT for his amazing voice work in this. He sent me his beatboxing and said:
* SomeThingElseYT: "Keep in mind. I'm not a professional beatboxer. I make fun of me.".
* Rebecca Parham: But as you can hear, it was perfect, so shush, Adam. I also wanted to let you know that I am working on the VidCon recap video as fast as I possibly can, and it's probably gonna be a little different this year, because so much crazy stuff happened that I'm having to cram a lot into one video. So, I must ask your patience on this one. I promise it will be fun. Anyways, that's it. Thank you so much for tuning in, but now I gotta tune out.
* SomeThingElseYT: Okay, I'd go for this one: don't forget to like that smash button, drink more liquids and stay hydrated.
Category:Transcripts