Hope You're Alright

Emma,
I’m writing this message to you on August 17th, 2546. I hope it reaches you soon, wherever you are. I never knew how long it could take to get a few words through slipstream until… everything that happened, I guess.
I hope you’re doing well. I miss you, a lot. And I love you with all my heart. I wish I told you that more than I did before we left. Sorry if I sound corny, Dr. Gaier told me to write longer letters to you. Help me process all this shit I suppose. Not really sure if I can but we’ll see I guess.
Yeah the last few months have been pretty shit, actually. I don’t even know how to begin talking about it. I mean, I could talk to you but, well, that’s kind of difficult right now. Obviously. I miss you. I don’t know if I said that. Writing this all out seems… a little bit silly. You’re never going to get this anyway so I don’t know why I’m bothering. Sorry. I love you.
You know, after all that happened, sometimes I think back on high school and I’m actually able to smile. So much for my twenties being my prime, senior year was the shit. Probably because that’s when I first held your hand. I knew you for years and years at that point but finally holding you in my backyard by the fire, while dad cooked and Jason chased my sister around the yard? It was so… nice. I’m sorry. I just… I can’t
You were the best thing that ever happened to me. And now I’m never going to see you again. It hurts a lot. It hurts like hell. Maybe we should have never gotten married. I mean, two years out of high school, crazy as shit right? I think I get what my Grandpa was saying now. “Wait a little, you never know what kind of heartbreak’s gonna happen at your age.” I never invited him to the wedding, so that he couldn’t see me be happy. He never wanted to see me like that anyway, so what difference would it make. That was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and I didn’t want him there. And I’m starting to regret it. Because now he’s gone, and you’re gone too. All that happiness… it was so good, it was the best I’ve ever felt, when I was with you. And now I’ll never feel it again. It’s gone forever, and that hole in my body and in my heart from when you left it… it eats away at me. My heart feels like it’s black, and dry, and going to fall out of me. I miss you so much. I love you… I love you…
I don’t have anybody else left, either. My Dad was speeding down the highway, trying to get to us once all the shit went down, and I guess he spun out or some shit, because last I checked he had his leg broken and he was stuck under the car while every ambulance was stuck in the city. I took Mom, and Jason, and Aurora in my car and we left. They were doing evacuations at Belisk, and it was like a 50 minute drive. I think I made it in 30.
But none of that shit mattered, of course. Because Mom lost her fucking medicine, and had an allergic reaction to all the shit in the air and she just fucking died. Fucking gone. I took Jason and Aurora to the shuttles, and I just left Mom’s body fucking lying there. There was a thousand people at the barricade, too. I kept looking for you there, where you said you’d be, but I couldn’t find you. I left you behind and I’m so, so sorry. I love you, Emma. You need to know that. And I couldn’t find you. All I knew how to do at that point was help Jason, and Aurora. I had to push through that crowd to get to the front of the line. People, just like me, or you. Families, kids, old people, fucking dogs. All fucking dead. 
And then we got separated from Jason. Some shit right there, an asshole in armor tells us our transport is full. I beg him to let Jason on, to stay with us but they moved him to another transport. I hope he’s okay. I hope he’s out there, somewhere. I know he’s smart enough to work it all out, but deep down I know he’s just fucking dead. That’s the only thing I thought of on that transport. My brother is fucking dead. Aurora sat in my lap, crying. Can’t blame her after the shit that happened, I was crying too. That hole in my chest, I talked to you about? It just kept getting bigger.
Eventually we landed on Anker Station. That’s where I am now. I started volunteering at the clinic. It was simple, really- they gave me food to help out. I needed to feed Aurora. I needed to help her. She was the only one I had left. But it didn’t matter. I was traumatized. After all the shit I’ve seen? I saw a guy whose glasses were melted into his fucking eyes because a torpedo landed on him as he was leaving the planet. I saw somebody’s intestines burst because a fucking chemical weapon was loaded into some projectile. I’m never going to be the same. And Aurora knew. Fuck me, she knew. I couldn’t be there for her. And then she died too.
Radiation sickness. 6 years old. My baby sister, dead forever. They couldn’t cure her- there’s thousands of people here. At the clinic, we say we’re gonna help everyone but… that’s not true. We just can’t. I’ve given up trying, at this point. I’m a shit person, I know. You really brought out the best in me Emma… I need you with me. I miss you. I love you. I love you and I need you. Please…
The doctors around me didn’t give up the way I did. I’m just a volunteer, but they do this shit for a living. They’ve flown all across space, trying to help people like me. Like us. But it doesn’t matter. Two hundred and seven deaths. That’s the amount of people I’ve watched die on this station. Aurora included. And it’s not slowing down. We’re fucked. We are collectively fucked. The station is running out of food, and water, and oxygen, and we just keep collecting people. A navy ship was supposed to arrive yesterday, but it didn’t. It was supposed to bring people away, get them better help, get us help but… it didn’t show up. I just have to sit here and wait for my turn to get radiation poisoning, or burns, or whatever the fuck. I’m dead. 
I miss you, Emma. I need you by my side. I love you so, so much. 
Please… please come back… please just be okay.
Category:The Weekly
Category:Short stories
Category:Underlord1271 Stories