Tense Trent's Tents

== Pre-Game ==
Opening Quote: Hey, I’m Cookie Masterson, and it’s true; I do like to move it move it!
Sponsor Slogan: Tense Trent’s Tents: If you’re looking for at least ten tents, trust Tense Trent’s!
== Round 1 ==
=== Question One Title: Drawing Swords Online ===
Pre-Question: I’ve been watching the anime Sword Art Online, and I have to say, I’m really into it! Sure, there’s a lot of hate on it, but c’mon! You have to admit that it’s an interesting concept!
Question: Let’s say it takes one year to clear one floor of Aincrad from Sword Art Online. If it were to be renamed for this, which name would be more appropriate?
* A: Decade-crad
* B: Century-crad
* C: Millennium-crad
* D: Lightyear-crad
Wrong Answer 1: (A) Is your brain offline?
Wrong Answer 2: (C) Beat it!
Wrong Answer 3: (D) To Infinity and Beyond this wrong answer!
Correct Answer: (B) Aincrad, the floating castle has a total of 100 floors. And since there are 100 years in a century, this choice would definitely fit.
Post-Question: But let’s be honest, after year eight, people would get bored and beg the creator to pull the plug.
=== Question Two Title: A game of cards… And thrones ===
Question: Which of the following is NOT a card that occupies the monster world in Yu-Gi-Oh?
* A: A King
* B: A Queen
* C: A Jack
* D: An Ace
Wrong Answer 1: (A) All hail your stupidity!
Wrong Answer 2: (B) You are so d-d-d-dumb!
Wrong Answer 3: (C) If you’re expecting me to say "You Don’t Know Jack!" this early, then you’re wrong.
Correct Answer: (D) There are kings, there are queens, and there are jacks, but alas, no aces currently occupy any decks.
Post-Question: If you got that one right, you totally aced that! (Crowd booing) Oh, shut up! It makes sense if you think about it!
=== Question Three Title: My Little Who-now? (DisOrDat) ===
I’m going to read off seven names. For each one, I want you to tell me if it either belongs to…
A real character from My Little Pony
Or if it’s…
A name that I made up
# Sky Star: MADE UP
# Cheese Sandwich: REAL
# Midnight Eyes: MADE UP
# Photo Finish: REAL
# Ocean Sapphire: MADE UP
# Shining Armor: REAL
# Cheery Leap: MADE UP
7 out of 7: That should give you a big smile!
5 out of 7: You did okay, but it wasn’t anything to giggle at.
3 out of 7: You’ve seen the show, right?
0 out of 7: Your brain must be made of Tom. (Silence) Y’know, the rock?
Post-Question Transcript:
Cookie: Now, I’m not asking this because I’m a Brony. That would be ridiculous!
Bob: Cookie, your Rainbow Dash figurine just came in the mail.
Cookie: Um… (Chuckles nervously) That’s for my sister, Bob!
Bob: Cookie, you’re an only child.
Cookie: Oh, crap…
=== Question Four Title: Dinosaur, Bacon, Famous Actor, or Computer?! ===
Question: An unusual contestant that appeared in a 2011 episode of Jeopardy.
* A: Dinosaur
* B: Bacon
* C: Famous Actor
* D: Computer
Wrong Answer 1: (A) Your score is now extinct.
Wrong Answer 2: (B) Look, bacon isn’t always the answer.
Wrong Answer 3: (C) (Crowd booing)
Correct Answer: (D) Watson the Supercomputer was introduced by IBM in 2010. A year later, it was featured in an episode of Jeopardy where, get this, it won!
Post-Question: First game shows, then reality shows, and soon, the world! Just as the Terminator predicted!
=== Question Five Title: Dude (Somewhat) Perfect ===
Question: Suppose the dudes from the Dude Perfect YouTube channel were obsessed with shoes rather than trick shots. If they were to get help from Nike, what WOULDN’T happen?
* A: Tyler Toney would go to SNEAKERS Anonymous
* B: Garrett Hilbert would enroll in BOOT Camp
* C: Cody Jones would fix up is UGG-ly look
* D: The Cotton Twins would take a SELF-LACING class
Wrong Answer 1: (A) You’re probably wondering where your cash has gone. It went to rehab.
Wrong Answer 2: (D) Much like the Cory and the Wheel, you’re pretty unlucky!
Wrong Answer of the Game: (B) Take a hike! (Chicken clucking) To your new prize! (Reveal) You’ve won ten tan tents from Tense Trent’s Tents! There’s no need to be tense in your new tents!
Correct Answer: (C) Nike sold Ugg boots, but they went by a different name; the Golkana Boot. And since it has been discontinued, Cody will have to find another way to cope.
Post-Question: Okay, we’ll move on as soon as I make this shot. (Bouncing then smack) Damnit, intern! Get out of the way next time!
== Round 2 ==
=== Question Six Title: Nobody nose ===
Question: Which of these characters actually had a nose?
* A: Patrick Star
* B: Lord Voldemort
* C: Bloo
* D: Mailbox from Blue’s Clues
Wrong Answer 1: (B) Avadacadumbvra!
Wrong Answer 2: (C) Its almost like you imagined this was the right answer.
Wrong Answer 3: (D) Here’s the mail: You just failed!
Correct Answer: (A) Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants has no nose, but in one episode, he had one. Sure, he lost it at the end, but it still counts as him having one.
Post-Question: Although, that episode still wasn’t as disturbing as Wormy. (Shudders)
=== Question Seven Title: A bat out of shell ===
Pre-Question: Believe it or not, there was a time where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were musicians on tour! I’m serious! Anyway, it leads me to this next question:
Question: Suppose the Ninja Turtle with the Sais decided to imitate Gangnam Style singer Psy. What might he say while fighting the Foot Clan?
* A: “Oppa DONNIE Style!”
* B: “I’m a mother-father RAPHAEL!”
* C: “I got it from a MIKEY!”
* D: “LEO's heart is pounding, Woah! New Face!”
Wrong Answer 1: (A) Oppa Moron Style!
Wrong Answer 2: (C) Can I offer you pizza with pepper-no-ni?
Wrong Answer 3: (D) Whoa? No.
Correct Answer: (B) Raphael is the Ninja Turtle with the Sai.
Post-Question: Although, that would make for a good crossover. It wouldn’t make sense, but it’d be good!
=== Question Eight Title: I’m naked, but popsicles are angels ===
Pre-Question Transcript:
Cookie: (Yawn) Sorry if I’m a little tired. I fell asleep eating spaghetti and watching a movie last night. It caused me to have a crazy dream that I thought would make a good question out of.
(Cue opening for "Nocturnal Admissions with Cookie Masterson")
Cookie: Okay, in this dream, I was kidnapped by my cats Mayonnaise and Poopsie. They attached a beartrap-like device to my head that could go off at any second, but the only key was sewn inside a corpse that I had to cut open and dig through. After I got out in time, a doll that looked like my mom came out on a tricycle to tell me that I beat their game. And then the dream ended with the words "Game over".
Question: Holy crap! What the hell did I watch last night?!
* A: Saw
* B: Ready Player One
* C: You’re Next
* D: Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Wrong Answer 1: (B) Did you just blank out and only saw the ending part?
Wrong Answer 2: (C) Your score is next!
Wrong Answer 3: (D) What the (Censored) are you talking about?
Correct Answer: (A) Oh, right! I was watching the horror movie, Saw.
Post-Question Transcript:
Cookie: Speaking of Saw, I can do a pretty good Billy impression! Ready?
Billy: Hey, dunny!
Cookie: Billy, I wasn’t talking about you!
Billy: Well, de nore stecific next tine!
=== Question Nine Title: YouTurd ===
Question: Which of the following YouTube shows is still going strong?
* A: Equals 3
* B: Mailtime with Smosh
* C: Angry Video Game Nerd
* D: Dragon Ball Z Abridged
Wrong Answer 1: (A) I’m Cookie Masterson, and I approve this message: You’re a loser.
Wrong Answer 2: (B) No, Anthony left Smosh. Which is, y’know, a big clue!
Wrong Answer 3: (D) Is Nappa playing this game? Goddamn it, Nappa…
Correct Answer: (C) Out of everything listed here, the AVGN by Cinemassacre is the only show here that posts new episodes.
Post-Question: The Nerd is one of my favorite video game critics! And it’ll stay that way unless he reviews any entry in the You Don’t Know Jack series. After that, there will be ass kicking’s aplenty!
=== Question Ten Title: This question is a lie ===
Question: Much like the song from the first Portal game, which of these video game characters is "Still Alive"?
* A: Aerith
* B: Dr. Eggman
* C: Lee Everett
* D: Vladimir Makarov
Wrong Answer 1: (A) Much like Aerith, Sephiroth just murdered your cash.
Wrong Answer 2: (C) Your score’s been bitten! Allow me to take care of it for you.
Wrong Answer 3: (D) Soap didn’t pick this; I thought you would, too.
Correct Answer: (B) Aerith is murdered by Sephiroth, Vladimir Makarov is killed by Captain Price, and Lee Everett is bitten by a Walker and is either shot by Clementine or left to turn. But no matter what happens, Sonic’s enemy, Dr. Eggman always comes back and is never actually killed. Oh, and by the way, spoilers.
Post-Question: Speaking of Eggman, he survived multiple explosions, a black hole, and even getting sucked into space! I guess the only way to truly kill Eggman is to crack him open.
== Round 3/Jack Attack ==
Clue: Addicted to Addictions
Pre-Attack: What weird thing are they addicted to? Good luck!
# The "Silly Rabbit" = Trix
# Mr. Krabs = Money
# Total Drama Cast = Fame
# Rhett McLaughlin = Beans
# Billie Eilish = You
# Cocoa Puffs Bird = Cocoa Puffs
# Lindsay Lohan = Alcohol
Post Game: Now, I’m not addicted to anything! No sir! I’m completely clean! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to do some, uh… "Taxes" (Long sniff) OH, (Censored) YES! I LOVE THE SMELL OF FUNYUNS!
Slam
YOU DON’T KNOW JACK!
Category:Episode
Category:Dinosaur, Bacon, Famous Actor, or Computer?!
Category:Nocturnal Admissions with Cookie Masterson