The Secret Life of Pets 2/Transcript

==Transcript==
[2013 Universal Pictures logo. Illumination logo; a squeaky toy bounces in. Stuart the Minion is being pulled by dogs, which he is walking with.]
STUART: Stopa! Stopa! (The dogs try to get the ball, but the ball bounces away. One barked and they run. Stuart whimpers.) Illumination! (being pulled off the screen)
[A cherry blossom tree in full bloom is shown in the opening scene as Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind" plays. The scene moves through people enjoying a day at the park, showing a wide shot of New York City, then focusing on a grassy area at the park's center.]
MAX: (voiceover) Ah, kids. Everybody loves them, right? You probably love kids.
[As Max continues to speak, a blond child is shown playing with a black tri-colored chihuahua on a red and white checkered picnic blanket. In the background, an Old English Sheepdog is carrying two children on its back, barking and playing. A group of other kids runs after it playfully.]
LITTLE BOY: Hey!
MAX: (voiceover continues) I gotta admit... (watches as the Old English Sheepdog and trailing kids run past him and Duke) ...I don't. (Old English Sheepdog barks) That's me, by the way. I'm Max. I'm the little dog right there, grateful I'm not being piled on by a horde of children.
[One of the kids trips over a picnic basket, laughs, then continues chasing the Old English Sheepdog.]
MAX: (disgusted) Ugh, can you believe that?
DUKE: (laughs) Having a kid looks like fun!
BEAGLE: Nah man, it ain't fun. I'm telling you, once the humans bring a kid home, your life ain't the same. (jumps out of the way as the Old English Sheepdog pushes through the group with some kids still in tow, chuckles) Seen it a billion times. It changes you.
[The scene changes to show Katie walking Max and Duke through the streets.]
MAX: (voiceover) Now, I thought I never had to worry about any of that, but then one day...
[A man on a bicycle gets distracted and he crashes into a parked taxi cab. He flies over the trunk of the car and lands on his back, dazed. Shocked, Katie rushes over to him.]
MAX: (voiceover continues) ...my owner, Katie, met Chuck.
KATIE: (hovering over Chuck, haloed by the sunlight) Are you okay?
CHUCK: (stunned) Uh, yeah! (laughs as Duke licks his face)
[The scene changes to show Katie opening the door to Chuck, who is carrying a surfboard, backpack, and other gear. Duke and Max run up excitedly to greet him.]
MAX: (voiceover continues) A little while later, they're married. Which... it's—it's great! Chuck is—he's a good guy.
[The scene cuts to show Katie and Chuck, who is asleep, watching television. Max jumps up on the couch with a bark and Katie pets him, smiling.]
MAX: (voiceover continues) But then...
KATIE: (coos at Max) Aw... (cuddles him in her arms and goes back to watching television)
MAX: (voiceover continues) ...something happened.
[The scene pans out to show Max slipping out of Katie's hold and landing on the floor, revealing Katie's pregnant state. Duke is dozing underneath Chuck's arm. Katie chuckles as Max whines a little. In the next scene, Max and Duke are moving closer to a crib, curious. A baby is shown with a pacifier in his mouth, looking wide-eyed at the two dogs.]
MAX: (voiceover continues) Katie and Chuck had a kid of their own. His name's Liam.
[Max and Duke look between each other, unsure of the new arrival.]
MAX: (voiceover continues) At first, he slept all the time. Dreaming about, you know, whatever it is that babies dream about. 
[?]
MAX: (voiceover continues) He had his place... and I had mine. Things, seemed like they were going to be fine. 
[?]
MAX: (voiceover continues) Until he started talking. (Liam babbles and throws a toy car at Max) And eventually, he started crawling. Sort of. And suddenly my own home wasn't safe anymore. There was a tiny monster taking it over. Now, I did my best to keep a safe distance... Then one day, Liam did something I never expected.
LIAM: Max! (hugs Max) I love you, Max.
MAX: (voiceover continues) And from then on, everything was different. Duke and I, we became like role models to him. And what can I say, the kid's a fan. 
[?]
MAX: (voiceover continues) We'd try to be a good influence. And we'd help him out whenever we can.
This kid gets us.
Bubble... Yeah, we have fun.
And, by the way... I'm still, not a kid person.
I'm talking about this kid.
This is my kid.
He is perfect.
And I'm never going to let anything bad happen to him.
But I gotta say, keeping Liam safe is a full-time job.
MAX: (gasps) No, no no no...
Alright, ah... Everything's cool... We, we don't want any trouble.
Liam!
DUKE: You OK there, buddy? 
MAX: Was the world always this dangerous?
[?]
CHLOE'S OWNER: Agh... No No No No No...
Don't...
MOLLY: Good morning, Snowball. Who's the best bunny in the whole wide world?
SUPERHERO: (on TV) Take that, evildoer! Off into the sun with you!
MOLLY: Yeah... Pow!
Ears up!
I'm calling this meeting of the superhero animal friends to order.
Commander Horsie, please read the minutes from our last meeting.
Thank you.
Now remember everyone, crime is out there.
We have to be ready.
MOLLY'S DAD: (offscreen) Come on, Molly, time to go. 
MOLLY: Oh, I'm going to be late for school. (to Snowball) Captain Snowball, you're in charge while I'm gone.
SNOWBALL: First of all, I want to welcome White Thunder from the washing machine who was put in there with a red blanket and henceforth will be known as… Pink Thunder. Okay, I'm-a go check the perimeter.
[?]
SNOWBALL: Good morning, New York City!
[?]
MAX: Snowball. Hey, Snowball, what are you doing?
SNOWBALL: What's it look like I'm doin'? I'm looking for crime, tiny dog. I'm doin' superhero stuff. If anybody comes in here looking for trouble, oh, they gonna meet my partners, We're talkin about paw, and arm.
MAX: Okay, well, you do know that your owner is just playing superhero, right? You're just wearing some superhero pajamas.
SNOWBALL: Hah? Tiny dog, you're so naïve. Point me in the direction of any animal who needs my help, and stand back!
MAX: Okay, okay... I got it. So, ahh... did your kid leave for school yet?
SNOWBALL: Yeah, yeah. No, she's got a quiz today. And they in spellin'. She'll ace it though. Do you know she writes her answers down in ink? That's how confident she is.
MAX: That sounds really smart. But you know what? Liam is smart too. In fact, I heard Katie say, that Liam's head circumference is in the 80th percentile.
SNOWBALL: Oh, that's cool. That's a lotta head. Hey, quick question. Is he still peeing everywhere? Can't control his bladder?
MAX: Yeah, he... he's peeing. But, but every pet knows, if you pee on it, you own it. And Liam, he's just thinking ahead.
SNOWBALL: Yeah, but you still better train him before pre-school starts. You don't want Liam to get a reputation as one of those pee-pee kids?
MAX: Yeah, totally... Hey, wait... pre-school?
SNOWBALL: Yeah, he's around that age. The baby bird is leaving the nest, TD.
MAX: No, no. Baby bird is staying put. Doesn't need pre-school. You know, stay home with me, where it's safe.
DUKE: Hey, Max... It's, ah, no big deal... No need to overreact. But, ah, Liam just left.
MAX: Wait, what? Where'd he go? 
DUKE: I don't know. He never tells the dogs specifics.
MAX: OK, OK, OK... (speaks into a walkie talkie) This is home base to all units! The package has left the building. Does anyone have eyes on him?
I don't see him, over.
He's not in this bag of chips, over.
MAX: Okay, keep... Wait a minute, why would he be in a bag of chips?
NORMAN: Homebase, this is Eagle Eye. Don't you worry.
[?]
NORMAN: I got eyes on the package as soon as he left the building, over.
Subject is safe and sound, enjoying what looks to be a cookie shaped like a moose.
No, wait... It's a reindeer.
MAX: Ok, thanks Norman.
DUKE: Scratching again there, buddy.
MAX: I just... I really don't like it when they take him out without me.
Hey, Duke... Ohooo...
What's this?
DUKE: Oh, I know this. It's a ball.
Go get it.
Hey, Maxi... What say we go for a walk?
MAX: You know, I gotta say, this is nice. Good to stretch... the... legs.
DOG: I don't want to go to the vet!
MAX: The vet! No! No, no, no, no, no! Oh, not cool! You tricked me!
Maxi, come on boy. (Max whines) You've been so stressed lately, but the vet is gonna help you. Let's go, buddy.
All right.
Aww...
CAT: First time here?
MAX: Uh, yeah.
CAT: Oh, Dr. Francis is the best veterinarian in the business. You’re going to love him. He specializes in behavioral disorders.
MAX: Behavioral disorders?
CAT: Yeah.
MAX: But I don’t have a behavioral disorder. I mean I worry a little, sure. But it’s a dangerous world. You’d be crazy not to worry.
CAT: Yeah, I’m fine too. It’s my human that’s nuts. I mean, you know, I, I bring her a dead bird, she throws it out. I bring her dead mouse, right in the garbage! (the cat starts getting hysterical at his owner) Is nothing I do good enough for you, mother-?! (yowls and hisses)
MAX: Okay.
GUINEA PIG: I run, I can run, and I run, and I run, and I get out, and I’ve gone nowhere. Nowhere!
MAX: Ahhh...
NERVOUS DOG: My owner always says, “You’re such a good dog,” and I feel like a good dog. But what if deep down I’m a bad dog? What if I’m a bad dog?!
MAX: Heh, heh. 
(He notices two creepy looking Siamese twin cats.)
SIAMESE TWIN CATS: We start fires.
MAX: Ahhhh!
Max?
Come on.
I know buddy, it's just until we can get that scratching under control, okay?
Busy Bee!
DUKE: Max, Max... Max, Max... You're never gonna believe this... Oh, hey I like your coat. Listen, I heard Chuck tell Liam that we're going on a trip!
MAX: Really? We're going in the car?
DUKE: We're going in the car!
Car... Cars... Cars... Cars...
You know, life is funny. One minute, you're getting fitted for a cone, and the next, you get to go in a car!
DUKE: I feel like that's very specific to you, But, totally! (chuckles) Yeah!
MAX: (muffled) This is incredible! I'll be right back. (?) Chloe? (?) Chloe, I'm going on a trip, and I... Oh. (?) I was wondering if you'd... (?) Will you watch my Busy Bee while I'm gone...? (?)
CHLOE: Oh, Hey Max. Were you saying something?
MAX: (scoffs) Yeah. I was wondering if you could... (?) Oh... (groans) Okay. (?) Never mind! (?)
CHLOE: What's that stupid thing on your head? 
[Max goes to Gidget's apartment. ?.]
MAX: Gidget? (?) Gidget, are you home? (?) Gidget?
[?]
GIDGET: Mm. Oh, hi Max. (hops out) Do you want to join me?
MAX: Oh, you know what, I really wish I could, but get this... (?) I'm going on a trip!
GIDGET: Wow, really? 
MAX: Yeah! It's a big deal. I was wondering... Could you watch my Busy Bee while I'm gone?
GIDGET: (gasps) He is so cute!
MAX: I know, it's my favorite toy in the whole world. And that little face... Oh, that little face... Oh, and, and, ready?
♪ Squeeeek ♪
GIDGET: Oh wow, I love him! Oh, I just... I just love him immediately! It's, it's like we're his parents. It's like you're the Dad and I'm the Mom, and we're in a relationship, and this is our baby.
MAX: Well...
GIDGET: It's exactly like that. Exactly!
MAX: It's, ah, OK, yes. Yes, that's exactly what it is. Ahh... So, you'll watch Busy Bee while I'm gone?
GIDGET: Max, you go, have a great time. And I want you to know, I have got this.
MAX: Thanks, Gidget. See you later. (leaves)
GIDGET: I will defend Busy Bee with my life. (?)
[♪ Squeeeek ♪]
Yes, yes, yes! How we doing, Liam?
Woo Hoo!
Woo Hoo is right!
Okay...
Yes! Here we go!
Oh wow! Woo Hoo!
- Hey, man, I'm in a car!
- Us too!
I love the car! It's so fast!
Okay, come on guys... Hurry... Let's be quick!
No. No, no, no. This way buddy, come on. No!
[♪ Squeeeek ♪]
Oh, no!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Noooooooo!
Gidget, what have you done?
Ahh... Okay...
[?]
Huh?
[?]
GIDGET: Oh, dear, sweet Busy Bee. (?)
[?]
?: You know, I'll be the first bunny with washboard glutes.
I'm not even sure what glutes are, but mine are gonna be shredded!
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's, ah... fascinating.
Let me tell ya something,
Criminals will take one good look at my glutes,
And go give up.
No!
Ok, this is obviously glued to the floor.
[?]
DAISY: Excuse me, Rabbit, Cat, Do any of you know Captain Snowball?
SNOWBALL: Yeah, uh, ye-yes. Yes, we do.
CHLOE: And, here we go.
DAISY: Ohh, good! My name is Daisy, and I really got to talk to him. A poor, defenseless animal needs saving.
SNOWBAll: Wha...? Are you saying?
DAISY: Yes, I need Captain Snowball for a...
SNOWBALL: (?) ...top secret rescue. All right, well, I got to go. But nice meeting you, uh, what was it again?
DAISY: Okay, you don't listen. It's Daisy.
SNOWBAll: (?) Whatever. Okay, I... I got to get the dude that gets stuff to do things. I got to... Bye-bye.
DAISY: Mmm-hmm. That was weird.
CHLOE: Oh sister, it's gonna get way weirder.
[?]
It's Snowtime, baby.
Help!
Need my help?
Oooh, Rinaldo...
Uh, is he okay? Not in any way, no.
Hello citizens.
Who is that?
I'm Captain Snowball. I hear one of you needs my help.
Ooh, that's me. Ahh, very good.
New dog, tell me your story.
OK. Well...
It all began when I was on my way back from vacation.
Our humans were safely stowed in the overhead compartments.
And we were going through our owners stuff.
Humans always land the airline.
What do you got?
I'll trade you two socks for a pair of work out shorts.
Are they clean or dirty?
They ain't clean...
Nope, that's nasty.
And then, I heard a noise...
Now, I don't speak wild animal...
But from what I gathered, he was a scared, adorable tiger cub named Hu.
This poor baby kitty was being held against his will.
Aww...
That is unbelievable. I know, right?
No, I mean I literally don't believe a word of it, no offense.
Or, do take offense, I'm good either way.
Um, pardon me. Offense is very much taken.
That story happened, and it gets worse...
After the plane landed, I saw him again.
He was bein' packed in with his new owner.
And this guy,
This guy, was pure, concentrated, circus, evil!
That tiger needs Captain Snowball.
Daisy, let's go.
Yeah!
Bam!
Let's free that tiger. Or die trying.
Well, I mean... I mean we might.
Probably you.
You're wearin a bright suit. Everyone's gonna notice you. I'll be fine.
Hey guys, we're here. Oh, Yey...
Hey there... There's Uncle Shep...
Welcome to the farm.
Where's my little man?
Wow, look at this place. Yeah, it's...
So many smells I've never smelled before. My nose is so confused.
And happy!
Come on, Max. Let's go explore.
Ah, wait up.
DUKE: Hey, cow... Moo! (the cow stares at Duke) You're a cow, you're supposed to "Mooo"! (laughs)
COW: Woof, woof!
DUKE: What?
COW: Oh, I'm a dog. I'm wagging my tail like an idiot!
DUKE: Oh ho ho, okay. Dude, not cool...
COW: Oh, are you gonna throw a ball? Oh, please throw a ball. And I will chase it because my brain is the size of a rat turd!
DUKE: Huh, ha, ha... Okay, yeah I get it. You made your point.
COW: Oh look, I'm peeing on a tree.
DUKE: Okay, great. We're leaving now.
COW: I guess I'll just stare at the door until ya come back!
MAX: Oh, I miss New York...
Maybe a break from the city is just what you need.
Please tell me...
What?
Gobble, gobble, gobble...
- No, no, no...
- Gobble, gobble...
Gobble, gobble...
Duke! What did I do? What did I do!
Wooooof!
Gobble?
Mooooo...
Huh?
Growl.
Gobble...
Gobble gobble, gobble, gobble...
Whoooh...
Dinner's on!
[?]
GIDGET: (whispering) Chloe? I need your help. Chloe. Chloe? (looks around to her purring) Oh. Uh... oh. Uh, Chloe? Chloe, are you okay?
CHLOE: (shuts her mouth) Shh.
Sorry, ahhh... I'm, I'm just, I'm...
Real quick. Why is there a lampshade on your head?
Huh, ha... Listen, Gidget, baby...
I gotta be honest with you, my owner might have given me a liiiittle bit of catnip.
Oh, Ok. Gotcha. That's great, um, listen...
It is great, Gidget...
- Everything is greeeeeeat...
- Alright...
- Do you hear that?
- Hear what?
Purrr
It's like, like a tiny... like a tiny motor...
It's like a humming sound... purrr
I'm not... Don't know what you're...
Ohh...
Well, you're purring.
- That's you.
- What?
That's me?
I'm guessing the 'sound' is coming from inside of me?
Yup.
Oh, I wonder what other sounds I can make?
Meeeeeow
It's just Max trusted me to look after his Busy Bee,
- And then...
- Puuuuurrrrrr
Ugh. Why weren't you listening?
Meeeeeowwwrrruurrr
Wow, please stop.
Meooooooowwwrrrrrrrrrr
Are you finished?
Mep
This is important. I, lost, Busy Bee!
I've gotta get it back. But to do that, Chloe...
GIDGET: I need you to teach me the way of the cat. 
Bark, bark.
Max, come on. Try to catch a firefly.
I'm just... That sounds great, but I...
I think Liam wants me near him.
You know, he's... a little freaked out, being in this weird place.
I think he'll be OK.
Oh, okay. Just one...
Yes, I got...
Ugh, oh oh woh...
Growwwwwl
Yah!
Oh, hello.
Dog's got two things in this life, his water bowl and his dignity.
You take one, you take the other.
I ah, I don't know this was your bowl.
What, the cone blocking your view? It's got my name on the side.
We are so sorry, Mr Chicken.
Name's not chicken. Do I look like a chicken to you?
- No, no sir.
- No, not even a little.
Name's Rooster.
- Oh, okay, I'm Max, and this...
- Hey, what's that kid doing in the cage?
Something wrong with him? He got the fever?
That, that's Liam. He, he likes to run.
- So let him run.
- Well, Liam's super fast.
We blink, and he's up a tree.
So then your kids up a tree. What's the problem?
- Well, he could fall.
- He might.
And then he hurts himself.
Oh, so he got really high up, in this hypothetical tree?
Kid gets hurt, he learns not to do it again.
You know how many electric cords I've chewed?
Like, multiple cords?
One.
It shocked me.
I walked backward for a week, but I never chewed a cord again.
That is great for you, and, and it explains a lot.
But I like to protect Liam from... from everything?
Well, that's you, and you're wrong.
- Can you believe that guy?
- Yeah, he was cool!
- No, he wasn't.
- I know, wasn't cool at all.
Come on.
Whoa, hold up there. Dogs sleep outside.
- Ahh, pardon?
- Huh?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, OK wait, wait, let's talk about this like rational...
Alright! We're here.
In record time, too. Thanks to the Bunnymobile.
Oh yeah!
Stealth mode. Let's go!
Yah! Da ba da ba da ba da...
Ahhhhh!
You are jumpy.
I meant Ahhhhh, that's cool.
Or, Ahhhhh, look at that thing I'm not scared of, right there.
Or Ahhhhh, look at the candy wrapper on the ground.
See... It's just a thing I do.
Ahhhhh...
Stupid tigers!
There he is. Let's go.
We took care entire life.
Let's go!
You're wasting circus time.
Meorrrrrw
We gotta do something.
Come on.
We try again tomorrow.
If tiger does not do trick, tiger will become rug.
Don't let the tiger out of your sight. You're bad wolf!
It's ok, Hu.
It's me, Daisy, from the plane.
Hey, step away from that tiger.
Mind your own business, Wolf!
I'm gonna die... I'm gonna die...
Huh?
- I got the key, so let's go.
- What?
I said... I got the key, so let's go!
Ahh, alright. Yeah, I'm comming.
- Heck yeah!
- Boom!
Do you know what I learned today? Wolf's a jerk.
Duke!
Psst, Duke, I think we should check on Liam.
- Duke!
- [Duke mumbles in sleep]
Ughhh...
Ohhh...
Ahhh.
Huh?
What's that?
Uhhh...
Okay, okay...
What?
[multiple animal noises]
Ahhhhhh!
Ugh...
Ahh.
Ahh!
Wait... Wait... Wait... Don't... Please Don't...
You don't want to eat me, I'm skin and bones!
No, no, no, no, please?
[spits]
Thanks, he ah, he got the jump on me.
I can't see, I couldn't see him because of the cone.
Then get rid of the cone.
Oh, man, I would, I would.
But my... therapist says I need it.
Ohhh, ohh, okay...
Well... that makes sense.
Yeah, it's a medical device. These doctors...
Ahhhhhh!
There...
You're cured.
Hallelujah.
Not a fan. I am not a fan of the farm.
[?]
CHLOE: Okay, tail. (?) Ears. (?) And voila.
MEL: Whoa. (?) Gidget, you look so much like a cat, it's crazy. (?)
GIDGET: Yeah. Who knew? So easy. (?)
CHLOE: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. It's gonna take more than fake ears and a sock, okay? (?) You got to learn how to act like a cat. (?)
GIDGET: Okay.
CHLOE: Okay, Gidge, I'm gonna throw some situations at you, and you're just gonna, you know... you're gonna react like a cat.
GIDGET: Gotcha. (?)
CHLOE: Fetch. (?)
- Yes!
I'm gonna get it!
Gidget, stay.
- But...
- No.
Cats don't care about fetching. Fetching is for dopes.
MEL: Yes! (?)
You're above that, because you are a cat.
GIDGET: Mm. (?)
- Ahhh... [thump]
- Ahhh... [thump]
You see, dogs land like the clumsy oafs they are.
Meanwhile, cats land on their feet.
Really? How do they... (?) Yes, I did it! I landed on my feet! Yes!
Nice work.
Seriously guys, I think I broke something.
[?]
CHLOE: (?) You gotta, It's a fact of life.
GIDGET: Absolutely not! Never gonna happen.
MEL: (?) Guys, I found treats!
[?]
BUDDY: Aw, Mel! [?]
CHLOE: Okay, Gidget, eat Sweet Pea.
GIDGET: What?
SWEETPEA: Tweet?
CHLOE: Cats eat birds. It's nature.
GIDGET: Yeah, I'm gonna pass.
CHLOE: No, no, no, you used your one pass on the litter box. You have to do this.
GIDGET: But... 
CHLOE: Buh-buh-buh-buh... do it!
BUDDY: You're seriously gonna make her eat Sweetpea?
CHLOE: Oh, no no, of course not. I'm just freaking her out... (They gasp in shock as Gidget puts Sweet Pea in her mouth.)
BOTH: Ahhhh!
GIDGET: Okay, what's next?
CHLOE: Gidget, no! That's... Bad dog. Bad cat-dog. (?)
SWEETPEA: Tweet, tweet, tweet!
Ow... Sorry.
Up!
Tail in the face.
OK, shove the but to the cup.
Walk on keyboard.
There ya go.
Coffee on computer.
And, down.
- Great.
- Yes, ya got it.
Gidget, you're as close to a cat as a dog can get.
Cool, now turn me into a chinchilla. Can you do that?
Oh yeah. First mission in the bag.
It was easy... too easy? Maybe... maybe it was.
Hey big dog, what'd I do? Well, I just rescued a tiger.
And I'm not even tired of breath. I'm just telling you what happened.
You're so god **** awesome.
When you're awesome, and you just tell the truth, it sounds like you're bragging.
Let me know when you're finished tooting your own horn.
'Cause we gotta find a safe place for Hu.
Ahhh, What? What're you talking about?
Oh yeah... Oh that guy.
Yeah, ahhh, yeah...
Oh, I got it, I know a guy whose owner is never home.
Yes, we could just take him there.
- Sounds like a plan.
- Super Bunny powers activate!
Wait out here, buddy.
We'll be right back, OK?
♪ I'm a puppy, cute and sweet... Beg real nice and get a treat. ♪
Hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip...
Hey Pops.
Who's that?
Ahhh, I'm a hero... I need you to respect that!
Alright, alright.
Ten... Hut!
Puppy school is in session.
Puppy school?
Now the daily pledge.
- I promise...
- I promise,
- To listen to Pops.
- To listen to Pops,
And learn how to be adoreable, wide eyed and loving...
And learn how to be adoreable, wide eyed and loving,
To get what I want, when I want it.
To get what I want, when I want it.
Okay. Now, pop quiz...
Myron has hidden socks all over the room.
Now, what do we do with human socks?
- Ooh, me, me! 
- Go ahead, princess.
We hide them, Mr. Pops.
Correct-o-rooni! And why do we hide them?
Not knowing where one sock is messes with the human mind.
Heck yes it does! Always keep them guessing.
Now go find those socks!
Okay, ah, um, hey Pops... OK, that's enough. What's going on?
Yeah, my owner got a new puppy.
- My name's Tiny.
- Nobody cares!
I've been teaching Tiny how not to be anyone's sucker.
Word got out, suddenly every puppy in the tri-state area is scratching at my door.
- Oh.
- Professor Pops...
Yes, Pickle.
Pickle: I gotta make a poop.
- Ohhh...
You know where to do that. Find a shoe.
- This is so sweet.
- Yeah, them good...
Holy cheese and crackers, what is that?
- Myron, horn! 
- Huh?
[air horn blast]
Stop. No no, look look, it's OK.
This beautiful creature is Hu.
And the good news... is he's staying with you.
Get that tiger out of here before he does any more damage!
But we don't have anywhere else to take him.
Well, he ain't staying here.
No... What are you... Don't get attached!
That thing is out!
Awww...
Oh, Pickles. Did you poop in a shoe?
I did, in a boot. Your owner won't find it for a week!
- Are you crying?
- What? No. You're crying.
But, I'm just so proud of Pickles.
Mr Pops, please can the tiger stay with us?
Pleeeease...
Myron, look away!
Ohhh... Flap doodles!
Okay, fine. One night!
Really taught you guys too well.
I give wolf one job...
Guard white tiger!
And you worm, you blow it!
Maybe I should make juggling monkey head of security?
What say you, little Sergei?
Yes, you are so smart.
Then there's this one...
You're the worst wolf ever.
I swear, I...
What this?
This, from thief of tiger.
Yes, smell.
You bring that tiger back, and if you don't...
This one... will be a new coat for little Sergei.
Oh, this is good. You should really try this.
Max. Book, book, book.
One story read by Dad
Oh, sorry Liam. We can't read.
Well, wait a second.
There's no reason we can't figure this one out together, right?
This first page, there's, a little girl in a red hood.
Skipping through the forest with...
With some food. Look at that, she's got food.
Yum, yum, yum.
And look at that, she brought the food over to...
Say, who is that?
Oh, looks like her grandma.
Oh, I'll bet you're right. Aw, that is sweet, she...
So, grandma had a pet wolf. They had a great visit.
And the little girl went home. No one got eaten. The end.
No, no no no. That's not how the story goes...
We got this, thanks.
That wolf was gonna eat the little girl.
No! Thank you, Rooster.
He already ate grandma.
And then he assumed the old lady's identity.
Oooh, noo...
What, hey... Don't freak out my kid.
You bad, Mr Wolfy. Pffffft!
Kid seems fine to me.
You're the one who's scared of everything.
I am not. I'm, I'm... Tell him, Duke.
Yeah, yeah. Max isn't scared of everything.
I, I... I can think of, um...
Yeah, yeah well there's a few, there's a few things.
- Okay, thanks.
- You bet.
Okay, this is it.
You good to go? Roger that!
That's a good kitty.
♪ Squeek ♪
Busy Bee... ♪ Squeeeek ♪
Meeeow.
Oh boy...
[snoring]
Okay, come on Gidget...
♪ Squeeeek ♪
[snoring]
♪ Squeeeek ♪
Huh?
Meoow!
Norman! Help!
You got it sister.
Huh?
Busy Bee!
♪ Squeeeek ♪
Meowrrrrr!
Ohh, Okay, Ah... Time for plan B!
Engaging plan B.
Ohhhh...
Ahh, she caught the red dot...
Red dot!
♪ Squeeeek ♪
- She is the chosen one.
- All hail the Queen.
Hail the Queen!
All hail Queen Gidget.
Faster.
- Max, did you see that?
- Yeah...
So cool.
Well, it's not that big a deal.
Whoa... Yeah, move it!
Ohh, man!
- Hey look, that big guy got out.
- We'd better get Rooster.
No! No, No.
No need for that. I can handle it.
Hey mister... back, back inside. Come on...
- Yup!
- Ughh...
You're doing great!
- Go underneath him.
- Let's go...
Hey, he moved a little.
Don't you... Don't you ignore me.
Aww, come on!
Yup, ah ha. Going to the front, no, the back. No, go to the side.
Around back... Rooster nipped at the cows to get them to move.
Really? Sounds drastic, but OK. Pig, you asked for this...
[crunch] -Squeal!
- Whoa...
- Hey, Max, you okay?
- Yeah...
- What's going on?
- Don't worry, I'm fine.
You let all the sheep out!
- I did?
- Hey!
Get back in there! Come on.
Wait a minute... Where's Cotton?
Oh, he went into the woods.
You! Come with me.
Where, where are we going?
We're gonna go get Cotton back.
Oh, great.
- Come on Duke.
- Duke, sit!
- Yup.
- This is just you, and me.
- Oh boy...
- Come on!
- Super.
- Goodbye!
- Ungh...
Where are you?
Come on. Hurry up!
- Okay...
- Just jump.
Ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow! Argh...
Scent's getting stronger, Cotton is close.
Oh, boy.
I can do this.
Yeahhhh...
Rooster, you know I... Just go on without me.
- Oh, you're not giving up.
- Yeah, but...
[bahh]
Follow me.
Cotton! What are you doing down there?
There's apples in this tree.
Alright, just... Don't panic.
- Oh man...
- Max is coming down to save you.
- Wait, what?
- That tree can't support my weight.
You get down there.
I cant do that.
Sure you can. Think of this as a game of fetch.
Now, go fetch the sheep.
No, no, no, it's too high. And I'm, too afraid.
Max, here's the trick.
The first step of not being afraid is acting like you're not afraid.
Ah huh...
So, are you scared?
No?
Are you scared?!
No! No I'm not!
Now you're talking. Go get Cotton.
Hurry!
Okay.
Listen, ah, Cotton. Walk toward me, okay?
OK, sure. But my leg is stuck.
- His, his leg is stuck.
- Well, unstuck it!
Hold on!
COTTON: Wheee!
OK. Cotton, listen... Ahhh!
Hurry up!
Come on!
We're, we're alive!
- Yup.
- He he, yeah we are...
Yeah we are!
Huh? Max?
Max!
- Get back in your pen, Cotton.
- Okay.
- No, other way Cotton.
- Okay.
So, how did it go? What happened?
You know, it was pretty intense. Tell him Rooster.
You know... some stuff happened... but now it's over.
- Wow! He can really tell a story.
- Right?!
We are getting closer.
So there I was, surrounded by nasty wolves.
- You ask'n what I did?
- No one asked anything.
You just walked up to us and started talking.
I was scared, but I saved that tiger anyway.
Am I a hero? That's not for me to say.
Bubu! Bubu, are you listening?
- I am.
Stop digging for a second Bubu, and maybe you'll learn something.
- As I was saying, - Wol... wol... wolf!
Duh! That's what I've been talking about, wolves
[growl]
There.
Where is the tiger?
Oh, there he is!
What?
- Hey!
- So long, sucker!
Hah! Take that!
Now this is training. OK, keeping my reflexes sharp.
Close victory. Oh! You've just been beaten by a rabbit.
You don't even know it.
[ding, ding]
Ooh, my pizza rolls.
What's that?
Oh, hello Snowball.
Hey, Pops. What, what's going on?
Oh, you know, just returning your giant tiger.
Ooh, fun fact, he trashed my apartment!
This thing ate a flat screen like it was a potato chip.
We could shame!
Oh, now you've done it. Pickles is peeved.
Ahh... Are you sure that's my tiger, cause I don't know...
Let's go class.
Aw come on old man, don't do this.
Wait, wait, wait, wait... Please!
Hey.
Hey there.
I'm gonna go get back to my pizza rolls, & I'll come back to check on you in a bit, OK?
- Problem solved.
GIDGET: Snowball?
- Puppy Dog?
- What are you doing in Max's apartment?
Nothing. Why are you... hanging out with every cat in the Universe?
Oh, you know, just because?
- Mmmm, Okay...
- Okaaay...
Okay...
- Hey, Rooster.
- Hey, kid.
Good job today.
Yeah? Well, I gotta admit, I feel pretty good.
I'm not so nervous around the farm, or you, or the turkey who won't stop following me!
[gobble?]
Yeah, I see you. You weirdo.
Anyway, I heard Katie say we're leaving tomorrow.
[long howling]
Do you want me to ahh... You want me to go?
No...
It's what we do out here. You want to join me?
Yeah, OK. Cool.
You ready to try?
- [long howling]
- [weak howl]
Come on, kid. Deeper. Deep from your gut.
Right, okay, got it.
- [long howling]
- [howling]
There ya go.
- [long howling]
- [long howling]
Wow.
Alright, come on guys.
Huh, what do you think?
Hey, where'd Max go? And who let their super cool cowboy in the car?
Bye Uncle Shep. Goodbye now, so long.
- Bye Rooster!
- And thank you!
Well, huh... Right.
[gobble]
Mind your business, Turkey. I'm, I'm having a moment.
[gobble]
[gobble]
Okay, moment's over.
[gobble gobble]
There we go, buddy.
- Good to be home.
- So good.
- Ahh! Shhh.
- You Shhh.
Huh? Snowball?
Oh, hey, what ah... Hey tiny dog!
What are you doing with a tiger in my apartment?
Well, what are you doing home from your trip so soon?
I mean, as long as we pointing fingers.
Hey, hey hey! We don't have time for this.
We are trying to hide Hu before the circus wolves get here.
MAX: Circus wolves?
You do know I have a life when you're not around, right T.D.?
Yeah, OK, but...
- Captain Snowball, they're here!
- What?
Huh... Whoa...
Oh, no no no no no.
Aw no, they're gonna kill us Hu. Aw, this is bad.
Well, at least we die together.
- Aw ahh...
- Keep it together boy.
Okay, OK.
We need a plan. Daisy, let's hide Hu on the roof.
[knocking]
Tiny dog, where are you going?
Yeah, I'm not sure, but I guess I'm gonna, gonna try and find my inner Rooster.
What?
- [growling wolves]
- [Max barking]
Puny little dog...
Hurry up, Hu.
Alright, let's hide him in the... Ahhhh!
Ohh...
It's just this weird little guy.
Why don't you just go back to wherever you belong bonzo, because I don't want... Ow!
Run Hu!
SERGEI: Aw, pasty little dog, I like you. You will join my circus, as a cannon ball. Stupid tiger.
Let's go, we have a train to catch.
Daisy! Hu!
They're in a truck. What are we gonna do T.D.?
Attention, this is Captain Snowball. Me and tiny dog need backup.
We read you loud and clear, over.
We are headed to the circus. This is urgent, over.
Copy that. Busy Bee, mommy's gotta go save daddy.
Again.
Cats! Let's do this.
[♪ La Grange by ZZ TOP plays ♪]
Are my babies hungry?
Oh dear...
♪ La Grange • ZZ TOP ♪
Buckle up everyone.
Hang on Max, we're coming. Floor it!
Hurry up.
Let's go, let's go.
Sergei have new toy.
Training is going to be a lot more fun.
Alright, let's get this show on the tracks.
Snowball?
Come on, jump!
- Guys, what's your location?
- They're on a train headed northbound.
Roger that, Norman, we're on it. Go right here.
You hanging back T.D.? Captain Snowball is on the case.
Snowball?
I'm fine.
Yeah, can ahh, can you ahh, find a way to get back up here, or is there, Tiny Dog!
What was that? Hello?
- Daisy! 
- Snowball?
Oh, thank goodness. Get me out of here, I'm stuck.
Okay, okay... Huh?
This is now, Monkey.
You still there, monkey? Huh? Oh no, he's here!
Get me outta here!
- Snowball, the fuse!
- I got it, I got it.
Say goodbye, monkey!
Hello doggy, bring it...
Ahhhh! You bit me!
Tiny dog!
Come on.
Stop!
Bad dog! Max, you're very bad! (?)
SERGEI: (?) You going nowhere. Me had enough! This ends here and now! (?)
GIDGET: Hi, Max.
MAX: Gidget! (?)
GIDGET: Uh, that was a bad guy, right? (?)
MAX: Whoa. Okay, all right, all right... (?) all right, all right, all right, all right. (?)
[?]
Okay, so things got back to normal.
I mean, mostly...
You know they say, when life closes a door... it opens the cat lady's window.
That's a good kitty.
- Because everything changes. (?)
MOLLY: Good morning, Snowball!
Nothing stays the same for long.
The minute you're used to something, the minute you think ohh, this is how life is.
Life finds a way of surprising you.
What is going on? What... This is... awesome! Wow!
- Come on, buddy.
- This is gonna be fun.
You never know what life is gonna throw at you.
And you have two choices.
Run from it, or run at it.
It's a big day.
And from this point on, nothing's gonna be the same.
Wow...
But I'm gonna be brave.
And I'm gonna help Liam be brave.
Because he's my kid, and I want him to see the world.
The big, scary, incredible world.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
Wait!
- My doggies.
- Always.
Bye bye momma and dada.
[?]
MOLLY: Bye, Snowball. Bye, Mr. Bear. [?]
SNOWBALL: (rapping) Panda Panda, panda, panda, panda Panda, listen, hey Panda, panda, panda, panda I got broads in Atlanta Twisting rope, drinking Fanta Credit cards and the scammers Hittin' off licks in the bando Black X6, Phantom Wait and see, looking like a panda Panda, panda, panda, panda Listen Hundred scammers, Black X6, Phantom Wait and see, Panda Pockets swole, Danny Selling bar, candy Man, I'm the macho like Randy... (?)
MOLLY: Snowball, I'm back.
Mm... Panda, panda, panda, panda, panda.
[?]
ROOSTER: (voiceover) Okay, moment's over.
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