Hubert: The Movie

Hubert: The Movie is a film by Then bends that released on March 24, 2024. It takes place in the "Dark Hubert" timeline.
==Transcript==
*[The movie begins with the Hubert gang sitting down in a bar area in a basement. The basement has a pool table, and green carpet with dark brown walls.]
*Hubert: Hey guys.
*Freddy Fazbear: What’s up?
*Hubert: Not much, really.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: So, guys. How’s it been? It’s been awhile since we all met up.
*Quagmire: Yeah!
*Mr. Zabs: You guys have missed so much! I was in “The Mr. Rabs Show,” it was awesome!
*Kuromi: Sounds like fun!
*Dark Stewie: We were there. All three of us.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Kuromi: Dark Stewie, just… okay?
*[Audience laughs.]
*Freddy Fazbear: Hey, what’s this?
*[Freddy Fazbear picks a toy duck off of the floor.]
*Freddy Fazbear: Hey, guys! Remember the time we got lost in the middle of nowhere, and had to live with only a paperclip and a rubber band?
*Hubert: Oh, yeah! That was awesome!
*Hubert (narrating): I should probably tell you what’s going on. You see, this all started back in 2012… It was Dark Stewie’s Dad’s funeral. As you could tell, we were all devastated.
*[Flashback.]
*Mr. Zabs: I’m really happy…
*[Audience laughs.]
*Dark Stewie: What the hell, dude! My dad just died!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Mr. Zabs: Oh, no, I wasn’t talking to you! I’m talking to her!
*[Mr. Zabs reveals his phone. He’s texting a girl.]
*Dark Stewie: My Melody… You know, My Melody is Kuromi’s girl, right?
*Kuromi: What! No, she’s not… I just-we’re just…. Shut up!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: Kuromi, it’s ok. There’s enough porn of it anyway.
*Kuromi: I know this hasn’t happened yet, but I bet one of you in this room right now is gonna talk about my porn in the future!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Mr. Zabs: What, no way! If anything, nobody would, especially me!
*[Flashforward.]
* Mr. Zabs: Sorry, Kuromi.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Kuromi: Oh, no. It’s fine. It’s fine.
*[Pause.]
*Kuromi: I’m fine.
*[Flashback.]
*[Audience laughs.]
*Dark Stewie: Ninja, are you SERIOUSLY wearing a SpongeBob backpack to my funeral?
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Well, I like SpongeBob!
*Duke Dennis: Gotta agree with him on that one. SpongeBob is AWESOME!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Dark Stewie: Yeah, my dad died!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Well, did your dad like SpongeBob?
*Dark Stewie: No.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Exactly.
*Dark Stewie: Okay, I’ve had it right up to here with you!
*[Dark Stewie grabs a giant ladder and places his hand down.]
*[Audience laughs.]
*[Dark Stewie throws a banana at Ninja Tyler Blevins.]
*Duke Dennis: FOOD FIGHT!!!
*[Suddenly, the entire funeral area is turned into a trench warfare-like place, with people throwing food everywhere. The gang is hiding behind a stack of mayonnaise, trying to plan how to win the food fight.]
*Quagmire: I didn’t sign up for this!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: Hey, stay calm, Quagmire! Remember, we're in this together!
*[Kuromi peeks out from behind the mayo, with a tomato in her hand.]
*Kuromi: I see a target!
* Hubert: Alright, Freddy, you cover me! Quagmire, Dark Stewie, provide ammo! Ninja, keep an eye out for anyone else.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Hubert! Watch out! There’s a bunch of meatballs!
*[Cut to a shot of a bunch of meatballs, really high up, somehow.]
*Hubert: Wow, that’s a spicy meat-a-ball!
*Squilliam: Your name is doof method.
*Hubert: No, it’s Hubert.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Mr. Zabs: How are we gonna avoid these meatballs?
* Quagmire: Not to worry!
*[Quagmire opens his mouth wide and eats all the meatballs. He doesn’t become fat like all the other cartoon characters when they do this gag because that’s fucking creepy. I’m sorry, I’m getting sidetracked, but seriously, why do they do that?]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Good job!
* Hubert: You guys aren’t written realistically at all.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: The FUCK YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!?
*[Audience laughs.]
*Freddy Fazbear: We’ve avoided the meatballs, but now we need to avoid-
* [Shot of a bunch of hot dogs.]
*Freddy Fazbear: The wieners!
*Kuromi: I’ve got a lot of experience with those.
*[Audience laughs.]
* [Ba-dum tiss.]
*[Flashforward.]
*Kuromi: I didn’t say that! This is making me uncomfortable! I’m leaving!
*Hubert: No, Kuromi, wait! Don’t go!
*[Kuromi stops.]
*Hubert: Guys, what do I say to make her feel better?
*Mr. Zabs: I dunno, maybe try something like “You only look KIND OF fat in that outfit?”
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: Great idea! Kuromi, you only look KIND OF fat in that outfit?
* Kuromi: I AM NOT FAT! YOU- YOU’RE FAT! YOUR MOTHER’S FAT! GOD!
*[Audience laughs.]
*God: What’s up.
*Kuromi: (sad) I need to talk to you.
*[Kuromi slams the door.]
*[Audience laughs.]
* Hubert: It seems “Audience” really loves this movie.
*Dark Stewie: They wouldn’t if this were real.
*[Flashback.]
*[Kuromi grabs all one thousand wieners.]
*Kuromi: This is very heavy!
*[Kuromi throws the wieners outside, breaking a window. Cut to SpongeBob, walking at night.]
*SpongeBob: Doot-doot-doot-doo-doo-doot-doo-doo. Hey, what this?
*[A penny.]
*SpongeBob: Wow! A penny, my lucky-
*[SpongeBob is hit by one thousand wieners, causing him to fling in the air.]
*[Audience laughs.]
*SpongeBob: Oh, boy.
* [SpongeBob falls into the bottomless pit.]
*SpongeBob: Not again!
*[Audience laughs.]
*[Cut back to inside.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Well, it looks like the food fight is finally over. What could possibly happen now?
*Stick Guy With Fishing Hat: RUN! THERE'S LIKE, A HUGE WAVE OF...
*[Stick Guy With Fishing Hat pulls out a script.]
*Stick Guy With Fishing Hat: ...OF KOOL-AID!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Quagmire: We gotta scram!
* [The Hubert gang barely gets out. As they leave, they close the door.]
*Hubert: See, what did I tell you? Everything's gonna be just-
* [The door bursts open due to the power of the Kool-Aid.]
*Hubert: Fine. Just fine.
*Freddy Fazbear: Har... har.. har.... har...
*[Freddy electrocutes.]
*Hubert: Oh no! Not freddy!
* [They run out of the Kool-Aid, and bring Freddy to shore.]
*Dark Stewie: What are we gonna do?
* Mr. Zabs: I know CPR!
*[Mr. Zabs attempts to revive Freddy, but it doesn't work.]
*Hubert: Why? WHY? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
* [Cut to Freddy's gravestone.]
*Hubert: I'll miss you, old friend.
*[Flashforward.]
*Freddy Fazbear: That didn't happen at all!
*[Audience laughs.]
* Dark Stewie: No, no, we're getting to that part.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: You know, all this talk about getting stories wrong reminds me of the time I defeated Homer Simpson!
*[Flashback.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: You know, when I first met you, I thought, "Hey, I love this guy!" "This is the funniest guy I've ever met!" "I'm gonna quote this guy to all my friends! I love his town, I love his family!" But now, I think I speak for all of us when I say, I am over the Simpsons!
* [Homer gasps.]
*Homer: What are you saying?
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: I'm saying the Simpsons suck!
*Homer: Why, you...!
*[He pounces and grabs him and they roll. When they get up, he punches him. Ninja Tyler Blevins's nose bleeds. He growls at him.]
*Homer: Huh?
*[Ninja Tyler Blevins starts punching Homer and he punches back. They continue punching each others' face, then Homer tackles him and Ninja Tyler Blevins punches him down, making him pull down his pants. He pulls them back up and trips, then kicks Homer in the face. They again punch each other, then Homer strangles Ninja Tyler Blevins. Ninja Tyler Blevins smacks Homer and he pushes him away to let go. He coughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Ow! What the hell? That really hurts!
*Homer: No, it doesn't! I do it to my son all the time.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: You strangle your son?! That's insanulous!
*Homer: No it's not!
*[He yells, then head-gut-punches Homer. They resume punching. Ninja Tyler Blevins punches Homer hard, making him topple into a bunch of kids. The school bus arrives, hitting Sherri and Terri. Otto opens the bus' door, then Homer gets up and Ninja Tyler Blevins punches him, making him bump Otto out of the bus. Homer kicks Ninja Tyler Blevins in the face, making him fall out of the bus. He gets up and Homer traps his head in the door. He steps on the gas petal and drives. He turns the bus into downtown. He rams Ninja Tyler Blevins's body into some buildings. Then gets back on the road and rams him into some cars. He rams him into a tree, making his head come off of the door.]
*Homer: Phew!
*[Ninja Tyler Blevins returns on the roof. Homer screams, then Ninja Tyler Blevins kicks through the window. He punches Homer and strangles him with his arm.]
*Homer: Hey, knock it off! Golden Sigma's back there!
*Golden Sigma: Golden Sigma.
*[Audience laughs.]
*[The bus turns, flinging Golden Sigma out. The two once again punch each other. The bus heads for the Power Plant. They drive through the security gate, as well as the tire spikes popping the tires. The bus swerves, then rolls while they still fight. It stops rolling and crashes inside. After it stops moving, Homer kicks Ninja Tyler Blevins out of the bus and they continue punching each other. Homer then headbutts him into Sector 7-G. They punch each other, then Homer attempts to kick him, but Ninja Tyler Blevins grabs his leg and throws him into his work station. They punch each other, then Ninja Tyler Blevins hits Homer down to the floor. He crawls to a cabinet, holding lots of Rabs Awards. He throws them at Ninja Tyler Blevins.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Hey, that's no fair, I don't got none of them!
*[Homer throws another, but he dodges it. It lands into a control room, then explodes. An alarm sounds. A sign saying "Meltdown" lights up.]
* Homer: Uh-oh.
*[The musk of radiation turns them into swapped looks of themselves, then changes them back. Two explosions make them bump into each other. Then, the floor breaks and they fall three floors down to the reactor of toxic waste. The splash hits a Windows 2000 in a radiation suit, making him fall. Homer's skeleton rises and levitates in the air. His skin regenerates, as well as his eyes and clothes, then muscles are summoned.]
*Homer: Ooh.
*[Ninja Tyler Blevins's skeleton punches Homer into the sky. Then, his body regenerates and he gains muscles as well. Homer stops and sees him charging at him. He does the same. They both crash into each other making a fireball. It disintegrates some of the townspeople and also not just disintegrates them, but also just their clothes. The two of them punch each other once more. Then, they hold out their fists and they hit each other, sending them soaring off in different directions. Homer goes through the hole of the Lard Lad Donuts donut sign, through a building and a sign. With Ninja Tyler Blevins, he crashes through the Duff Stadium jumbotron, the Itchy and Scratchy studio and a random building.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Dammit!
*[He finally crashes into the Patty Shack. Inside, he's landed into a cannon on the set of The Eleventy Seventh Anniversary of the Patty Shack.]
* Mr. Rabs: And in honor of our eleventy seventh anniversary, we're going to shoot this cannon! RongeRob, you do the honors.
*RongeRob: Slapsolutely!
*[Audience laughs.]
*[RongeRob walks over and fires the cannon. Ninja Tyler Blevins's shot sky high. He holds his arm up and makes a fist, as he's soaring towards Homer. He screams and gets hit. The two once again punch each other. Cut to Evil Mr. Rabs watching them.]
*Evil Mr. Rabs: What are these idiots doing? Can't they tell I'm trying to read about Telamon's Bonus?
* [The two of them are still punching, until Homer loses his powers. He plummets, then grabs onto a ledge. Ninja Tyler Blevins lowers down.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: It appears that I am now the only one with radioactive powers, which will allow me to unleash my fury...!
*[He loses his, too.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Oh, I talked too long.
*[He holds onto Homer and the two once again punch faces, then turn their heads and see the gorge. They scream, then punch each other, then repeat the same two things before screaming.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: We're gonna make it!
* Homer: Trust me, we're not.
*[The ship plummets and crashes and both of them fall out. Homer grabs a copy of "7 Grand Dad" and puts it in his pocket.]
*Homer: Whoa!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Aah!
*[They hit the side of the pit, and fight while falling, then hit the ground. They get up, then a giant rock lands from above them, but they jump out of the way. Both of them try to peek at what side they're at, then Homer goes around, then Ninja Tyler Blevins kicks him by surprise to the ground. Homer kicks Ninja Tyler Blevins and punches him, then gets up and charges at him with a fist up, but Ninja Tyler Blevins dodges his hit and hits him with wood.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Whoo-hoo!
* [Homer kicks him out of view]
*Homer: Roadhouse.
*[Audience laughs.]
*[Ninja Tyler Blevins gets up, then growls. The two circle each other, then close ups start with Ninja Tyler Blevins, then Homer. Homer makes a face. Ninja Tyler Blevins furiously growls. They both charge to each other. In slow motion, they punch each other and then fall to the ground. Homer then gets up and slams a rock down on Ninja Tyler Blevins's hand, making him exclaim in pain. Homer picks up a piece of the remains of the UFO, that's spear-like. He uses it to hit Ninja Tyler Blevins's face. He puts his foot on his right arm and holds it up to stab him. Struggling to break loose, Ninja Tyler Blevins screams, then bites his testicles, making Homer scream as he falls to the ground. Ninja Tyler Blevins then gets up and picks up a heavy rock. Homer becomes conscious and wakes up seeing Ninja Tyler Blevins, who's about to crush him with the rock.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Say hi to Titus!
*[Audience laughs.]
* [He sees the UFO about to fall.]
*Homer: No! You say hi to IShowSpeed!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: He's alive!
*[Homer gets out of the way and the UFO crashes on Ninja Tyler Blevins. Homer then sees the crushed Ninja Tyler Blevins with his eyes closed and his tongue out. He leaves, as the sunsets. Ninja Tyler Blevins then opens his eyes and scowls. He crawls out of the debris of the ship and walks off, then stops to see Homer sitting on a rock.]
*Homer: What are you still doing here?
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: I think you're gonna get a kick out of this. You're parked behind me at your place.
*Homer: That is funny.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Hey, listen, I... I'm sorry we fought. I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. You see, I'm a Ninja.
*Homer: I understand. I'm a The Simpsons.
*[Audience laughs.]
*[Flashforward.]
*Hubert: What a waste of like 60 lines.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: Thanks, Ninja. Anyway-
*[Flashback.]
*Hubert: Well, doc. Is there anything we can do?
*Dr. Fortnite B. Science: I don't know, dude. Freddy here seems like he's in pretty bad shape. The only way we can fix him is if we find this here Himalayan Doo-Hickey-inizer.
*Dark Stewie: We can find that in no time!
*Dr. Fortnite B. Science: Oh, no, no, no, no, lad. It's much more difficult than you thought!
*Then bends: Did somebody say th-
*[Then bends is crushed by a giant anvil.]
*[Audience laughs.]
* Quagmire: Hah!
*Mr. Zabs: Hey, not funny! That guy...
*[Pan left to reveal Animany, taking notes. He appears to have an unimpressed face.]
* Mr. Zabs: Didn't invent me..
*[Audience laughs.]
*Kuromi: Wait! Once we get there, how are we even gonna find it?
*Dr. Fortnite B. Science: Right in front of The Himalayas, there's a sign telling you where it is, right?
*All (besides Hubert and Dr. Fortnite B. Science, of course.): Yeah.
*[Audience laughs.]
* Hubert: I didn't know that!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Dr. Fortnite B. Science: Right in front of the sign, there's a guy selling these parts.
* Hubert: How much do they cost?
*Dr. Fortnite B. Science: One "Uno Reverse Card."
*Hubert: What! One "Uno Reverse Card?!" Well, you can count me out!
* [Cut to Freddy's gravestone.]
*Hubert: THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!
*[Flashforward.]
*Hubert: Okay, come on. Really?
*[Audience laughs.]
*Mr. Zabs: Look! It was... it was funny!
*Hubert: Sure...
*[The door suddenly opens.]
*Kuromi: Thanks, God! You're a real nice guy!
*God: You're welcome!
*[Kuromi closes the door.]
*Hubert: Hey, Kuromi! You're back! I just uh, I wanna say I'm sorry for earlier.
*Kuromi: Not to worry, you'll be getting your comeuppance soon.
*[Suddenly, a mouse comes in.]
* Kuromi: OH SHIT! A RAT?!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Mr. Zabs: No, no, Kuromi! You silly! That's our pet mouse, Fido!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Kuromi: Oh! C-can I pet him?
*Ninja Tyler Bleins: Sure! He doesn't bite!
*Kuromi: Okay... n-nice kitty?
*[Audience laughs.]
* [The mouse bites Kuromi's face off. She kind of looks like SpongeBob did when he got his face sliced off in "Plankton's Regular."]
*Kuromi: Oh man! I hate that stupid mouse!
*Dark Stewie: Fido's nice! He's just not used to you!
*Hubert: What is this? A Springer episode?
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: Here, Kuromi, your face back.
*[Kuromi duct tapes her face to her head.]
*Kuromi: I guess that works good enough for now.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Mr. Zabs: Anyway, back to the story...
*[Flashback.]
*Hubert: What! One "Uno Reverse Card?!" Well, you can count me out!
*Dark Stewie: Wait! Don't go! We need to revive Freddy! He's our friend!
*[Shot of Hubert's face. The Peanuts trumpet noise is what he's hearing Dark Stewie say.]
*Hubert: Absolutely.
*[Suddenly a TV turns on.]
* Barack Obama (On TV): Hey, what's up. Your friendly neighborhood Obama.
*[Audience laughs.]
* Barack Obama (On TV): Just wanted to say that the time to act is now! Come on, you guys! Hubert, you guys MUST save Freddy.
* Mr. Zabs: Right, Mr. President!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Well that's enough convincing.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Let's go save Freddy Fazbear!
*[Cut to black. Fade in from Black. "Highway to Hell" plays from Hubert's car radio, as the Hubert gang is inside of Hubert's BMW 700.]
* Mr. Zabs: Please let this be a normal field trip!
*Hubert: With the... with...
*[Audience laughs.]
* Hubert: With the Hubert? No way!
*Kuromi: I can tell this won't be a normal trip. I don't think this car even had a radio!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: How can we tell? We did the bare minimum, research-wise.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Kuromi: Yeah, and this story clashes with the previously set lore of the series that nobody remembered anything about me living in Bikini Bottom until earlier this year! It comes off as lousy writing by somebody who doesn't know what they're doing. Even if it's just to tell a story, there's no way to explain your way out of it.
* Then bends: See, and that's what I do! I just don't explain it.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Then bends: Leave the plot-holes in so somebody else can theorize why everything works that way, and I don't have to waste my time trying to fix it.
*Quagmire: Smart.
*Then bends: Yeah, I know.
*Hubert: What! How did you even get in here?
*Then bends: The trunk was open.
*Hubert: Get out of my car.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Then bends: Ok!
*[Then bends steps out of the car, where it is revealed that they are driving on a high highway. Then bends falls down and lands in the water below.]
* Dark Stewie: So, where are we headed?
*Hubert: We're going to Hungary, silly!
*Zoltan: Sounds grea-
*[Zoltan is thrown out of the car, and lands in the water below, with Then bends.]
*Then bends: Oh, hey Zoltan.
*Zoltan: Sup.
*[Audience laughs.]
*[Cut back to Hubert's car. Highway to Hell is no longer playing.]
* Hubert: So, what picks do you guys have for music?
* Kuromi: My song, "Oto Melody!"
*Mr. Zabs: Nah, "The Muppets Theme Song." is better.
*Quagmire: It seems today that all you see.
*Dark Stewie: Is violence in movies and sex on-
*[Ninja Tyler Blevins grabs both of their mouths.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Stop.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Being. Retarded. Can I say that?
*Hubert: No.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: That's too bad. I want the "Happy Gru Theme."
*Hubert: Yeah, well, you all smell bad.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: And I'm picking the song I like! Ha! Hahaha!
*[Flashforward.]
*Hubert: Mr. Zabs...
*Mr. Zabs: Hubey...
*Kuromi: Sounds like Pubey.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Kuromi: Oh, wait! "Pubes?" That reminds me of the time I tried to do the "Flintstones" theme song!
*[Flashback.]
=== Musical Number 1===
[KUROMI]
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
[Kuromi jumps out of her window and drives her bicycle.] 
Kuromi! Yes, Kuromi! 
She's the greatest girl in history, 
In Buh... Kini Bottom! 
She's about to hit a snorkeling tree! Waaaah!
[Kuromi hits the snorkeling tree from "I Had an Accident.]
*[Flashforward.]
*Kuromi: Ah, useless gags. I love 'em!
*Hubert: Welp, that's over. Now, let's get back to the film!
*[Fade to black.]
* Hubert: Alright, Ninja. I'll pick your song.
*Dark Stewie and Quagmire: Drat!
* [Hubert turns on "Happy Gru Theme.]
*Hubert: This theme is very devious.
*[Pause.]
*Hubert: How strange.
*[Everyone is silent.]
*Mr. Zabs: So... how's everyone's day going?
*Quagmire: I've been doing fine.
*Mr. Zabs: That's... great.
*[More silence.]
*Kuromi: This is awkward.
*Dark Stewie: Quite.
* Hubert: Alright, everyone, since you guys don't know how to talk, here!
*[Hubert pulls out a pack of cards.]
*Hubert: Some conversation starters.
* Dark Stewie: So, Mr. Zabs.
* Mr. Zabs: What's up?
*[Dark Stewie looks down.]
*Dark Stewie: "Discuss Bowling Pin's pregnancy?" Who the hell is Bowling Pin?
*Hubert: Some girl I know.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: These current day references probably won't be relevant by the time this film comes out.
* Hubert: So? I'll release it now.
*[Hubert goes onto SBFW.]
*Hubert: There, published!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: I didn't want you to do that.
*Hubert: Well that sucks! Unrealesed!
*[Hubert unreleases the film.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: No, you can't do that.
*Hubert: YOU'RE TOO CONFUSING!
*[Silence again.]
* Kuromi: So, Then bends, huh?
*(The following lines take place simultaneously)
*Mr. Zabs: Yeah, he's cool I guess.
*Hubert: Nice guy.
*Quagmire: Who's that?
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: He's kind of a dick.
*Dark Stewie: Could be worse.
*(The lines afterwords don't take place simultaneously)
*Kuromi: Well, I think he's obsessed with me.
* Mr. Zabs: Why do you think that?
* Kuromi: He's put me in practically ever piece of media he's made since August!
*Zoltan's Mum: And not me?
*Kuromi: No, not you, Zoltan's Mum! Even though you look just like me, and talk like me if I were British, we're not the same.
* Zoltan's Mum: Is Zoltan even British?
*KuromI: Don't ask me! I dunno.
*Zoltan's Mum: I should visit him.
*[Zoltan's Mum jumps out of the car and ascends into heaven. Cut to Zoltan and Then bends watching "Uncle Grandpa."]
*Zoltan: Wow! I love this show!
*Then bends: I know, right?
*Zoltan's Mum: Hey, son!
* Zoltan: Mom!!!
*[Cut back to Hubert's car. The gang has reached a dead end. Ocean. The car stops.]
* Hubert: Uh-oh.
*Mr. Zabs: What! What's wrong now?
*Hubert: Dead end.
*Quagmire: But how are we gonna get to Hungary?
*Hubert: We can't.
* [Aloha plays.]
*Hubert: Well, I guess we should just give up.
*[Hubert leaves the car and goes to sit on a rock in the sand.]
* Mr. Zabs: Should we talk to him?
*Dark Stewie: I think we should talk to him.
*[They go outside.]
*Mr. Zabs: Hey, Hubert, what's wrong?
*[Kamakani B.]
*Hubert: It's just... we've hit a dead end. We can't get to Hungary to save Freddy, and I feel like it's all my fault.
*Kuromi: Aw, don't beat yourself up over it, Hubert. I'm sure there's SOMETHING we can do.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Yeah, man. We'll get to Hungary.
*Dark Stewie: Listen, Hubey. That works, I think. I'm sure there's something we can do to get to Hungary. We'll figure something out.
*Narrator: A Little While Later...
*Dark Stewie: I can't do this! We're goin' home!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Wait! I know what to do!
*[Ninja Tyler Blevins goes to the now empty car.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Stand back everyone!
*[Ninja Tyler Blevins throws the car into the water, and it drops down.]
*Hubert: You idiot! You just got rid of our only way back home! It'll take days to get back home!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Watch this!
*[The car floats back up. It's able to drive on the water.]
*Hubert: That's awesome, Ninja Tyler Blevins!
*[They go into the car.]
*Hubert: Now let's go to Hungary!
*[They drive off.]
*Hubert: So, what's Hungary like?
*Kuromi: I don't know. I'm sure it's great.
* Hubert: Well, it can't be as great as Oliver North!
*Mr. Zabs: Wait, who's Oliver North?
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: What? I can't believe you don't know about the great patriot Ollie North!
*Mr. Zabs: I guess not.
=== Musical Number 2 ===
[HUBERT]
In the 80s there was Cold War drama. 
We fought the Commies inside Nicaragua. 
Our friends were the Contras. 
Freedom was their mantra. 
So we sent them lots of money for guns and landmines. 
But Congress stopped the Contra money flow 
Just 'cause they moved a teeny bit of blow. 
But then a hero came forth. 
His name was Oliver North. 
He and Reagan went around the sissy Congress. 
OLLIE NORTH! OLLIE NORTH! 
[HUBERT, spoken]
You see, North secretly sold missiles to a harmless country called Iran who would always be a grateful ally. Then he gave the profits to the Contras. Genius! 
[HUBERT] 
But the sales were uncovered by the press. 
[MORTY]
He he. 
[HUBERT]
Reagan and North...
[RONALD REAGAN]
Well... 
[HUBERT]
Began to stress.
[OLIVER NORTH]
Nyaay!
[HUBERT]
'Cause what they did was technically high treason! 
[HUBERT, spoken]
But it was totally justified.
[HUBERT]
North volunteered to take the blame, 
to save Reagan from prison rape shame. 
The truth he did bury with his hot secretary. 
Thanks to her shredder, 
he got off totally scot-free! 
OLLIE NORTH! OLLIE NORTH! 
He's a soldier! 
And a hero! 
And a novelist! 
And now he's on Fox News!
*[Audience laughs.]
*Dark Stewie: Wow, thanks! Now I know who Oliver North is!
*Hubert: You're welcome! Now, for more history lessons, Otto Buek!
*Mr. Zabs: Who's Otto Buek?
*Hubert: Otto Buek IS! Is, not was... a German philosopher and translator.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: How come you emphasized "is?"
*Hubert: People say he's dead... yeah, as dead as Walt Disney! Anyway, Otto was an advocate of neo-Kantianism, which was a revival of the 18th-century philosophy of Immanuel Kant!
*Kuromi: Who's Immanuel Kant?
* Hubert: What was that, Kuromi?
*Kuromi: Hey, I didn't say anything.
*[Audience laughs.]
*Hubert: Okay, Otto worked as a journalist in Berlin, where he translated many writings from people like Tolstoy, Unamuno and Alexander Herzen, and in the 20s, he worked as a correspondent for the Argentine newspaper La Nación.
*Quagmire: He sounds like a cool guy.
*Hubert: That he is, you poor, out of character little boy.
*[Audience laughs.]
* SpongeBob: Where even are we anyway?
*Hubert: Here, look at this map!
*[Hubert pulls a map out of his pocket.]
*SpongeBob: How is that supposed to be helpful? That has "You are here" written all over it!
*Hubert: Wait... WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAR?!? HOW DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP GETTING INSIDE MY CAR?!?
*[Audience laughs.]
*SpongeBob: Ok, sorry! I'll... I'll leave.
* [SpongeBob steps out of the car and falls into the ocean below.]
*SpongeBob: Ah, Tartar sauce!
*[Cut back to Hubert's car.]
* Hubert: Well, it seems Hungary's on the horizon.
* Mr. Zabs: That's awesome!
*Hubert: Yup! We're gonna meet "Otto Buek," and "Fredrich Nietzsche," and even "Viktor Orban!"
*Kuromi: Yeah! Nothing could go wrong now!
* Dark Stewie: No! Don't say things like that you idiot!
*Kuromi: How come?
*Dark Stewie: Something bad always happens when you say stuff like that!
*[Cut to SF99, walking Tit 2 back home on the ocean. He appears to have recently dried himself after falling in the water in front of Epstein Island earlier. Strange considering it's 2012.]
*SF99: I can't believe I got all the way out here!
*Tit 2: Meow.
*SF99: I know, right?
*[SF99 goes down to pet Tit 2.]
*SF99: Who's a good cat? Yes you are! Yes you-
*[SF99 looks forward. Hubert's Car appears.]
*SF99: Titus, look out!
* Hubert: Oh no!
*Then bends (narrating): You know how I said Tit 2 would die by getting ran over?
* [Tit 2 jumps out of the way, just barely avoiding Hubert's car.]
*Then bends (narrating): That wasn't that time.
*SF99: Grrr! You people don't know how to drive!
*[Hubert's car continues to go, but suddenly stops, as the engine sputters.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Wait, what's going on?
*Mr. Zabs: Flat tire.
* Quagmire: A flat tire? But Hungary's like, right there!
*Mr. Zabs: It's fine, I'm prepared!
*[Mr. Zabs steps out of  the car, and goes under it.]
*Hubert: Wait! Won't you need protection?
*Mr. Zabs: We're already underwater you dimwit!
*Hubert: Oh, yeah.
* [Hubert puts the condoms back in his glove box. Cut to Mr. Zabs underwater.]
* Mr. Zabs: I, Mr. Zabs shall fix this broken tire. I've got a speech: Time, Punishment, Pime, Tunish-
*Wrench: Just shut up and use me already.
*Mr. Zabs: I'm not sure that's how the line goes, but ok.
*[Mr. Zabs uses his fixing skills that he's totally had up to this point and not just suddenly had just to move the plot forward.]
*Mr. Zabs: There we go! Good as new! Sorry for stealing from you, "Hoopla's Fantastic Beach."
*Hoopla: Yeah, it's whatever. I'm suing you.
*[Mr. Zabs runs back into the car.]
*Mr. Zabs: Everyone! We gotta move!
*[Hubert drives the car really fast as Earl's Revenge plays. Hoopla tries to run after them, however he fails. The gang has now reached Hungary. They step out of Hubert's car, as it explodes.]
*Hubert: Man! I forgot cars could just explode like that!
*[Flashback.]
* Squidward: Could I buy this boat for... 50 fish bucks?
*Salesman: Why not!
*[He grabs the car, and hands it to Squidward, who runs with it in his hands home. Squidward runs home, where he places the car down delicately, but it explodes.]
*[Flashforward.]
*Hubert: So, I wanna depict Hungary accurately, so I should probably do my research.
*Then bends: Or! Or... we could just use ChatGPT for this section.
*Hubert: That... that's really smart actually!
==HUBERT: THE MOVIE's Adventures in Hungary==
*[Pan down. Hubert and the gang are walking through the streets of Hungary. They pass by market stalls selling traditional Hungarian foods and handcrafted goods.]
*HubertGPT: Wow, Hungary is amazing! I can't wait to try some authentic Hungarian cuisine.
*QuagmireGPT: You know what they say about Hungarian food, Hubert. It's not just a meal, it's an experience!
*NinjaGPT: This goulash is so flavorful! It's like a party in my mouth!
*[They continue wandering around, and they come upon a street performance featuring traditional Hungarian folk music and dance. The gang joins in.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Who knew we had such hidden talents in dancing?
*[Suddenly, Viktor Orban, the Prime Minister of Hungary, walks by, along with Friedrich Nietzsche and Otto Buek.]
* Viktor Orban: Welcome to Hungary, my friends! I couldn't help but notice your enthusiasm for our culture.
*Fredirich Nietzsche: Indeed, it's refreshing to see such zest for life. I am Friedrich Nietzsche, philosopher and admirer of the human spirit. Otto Buek: And I am Otto Buek, a humble storyteller with tales of old and new to share.
* Hubert: Thank you for welcoming us to Hungary and sharing your wisdom with us. This has been a truly enlightening experience.
* Viktor Orban: The pleasure is ours. Remember, my friends, the world is full of wonders waiting to be explored and understood.
* Hubert: Well, that was fun!
*Dark Stewie: It was also very short. Maybe we should... talk to Viktor Orban, about where he's going politically.
*[Transition to the Kancellaria.]
* Viktor Orban: Welcome to Hungary, my friends. It's not often we have visitors from Bikini Bottom.
* Hubert: Well, We're thrilled to be here! Your country is beautiful, and the food is amazing. But the real reason we're here is just to stop by and check it out. In reality, we're on a quest to save Freddy Fazbear.
* Viktor Orban: A quest?
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: I guess you could call it that.
* Viktor Orban: While you're here, let me share with you what's next for Hungary. We're preparing for something big soon.
* [Viktor Orban pours the group some glasses of Egri Bikaver, a famous Hungarian red wine.]
*Hubert: So, what are you doing?
*Viktor Orban:  Hungary is gearing up for war with Bajookieland.
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Woah, woah, woah! War? With Bajookieland?
* Viktor Orban: We have considered everything we can do. Bajookieland has been plagiarizing our games and making fun of us.
* Hubert: Yeah, yeah, is there any way we can like, not hurt Bajookieland?
* Viktor Orban: No.
*Dark Stewie: Yeah, I don't know if we can s-
*Hubert (whispering): It's Viktor Orban, dude. Keep your mouth shut.
* [Hubert stops whispering.]
*Hubert: We'd love to help you out!
* Viktor Orban: I appreciate your offer, but this is a matter for us Hungarians to handle. Your quest to save Freddy Fazbear is good enough. May your journey be successful as well.
*[The gang leaves the Kancellaria.]
*Hubert: We should continue our journey now.
*Kuromi: But how? We don't have a car!
* Hubert: Easy! Satanic Ritual!
*Narrator: Later...
*[Cut to later. Everyone's dressed wearing black robes.]
*Dark Stewie: How are we gonna summon the car?
*Hubert: We need to focus and repeat this chant: אני מר ביג צ'ונגוס, אני מר סוס. אני מר שכחתי את זה, אני מר יו מונגוס.
*Mr. Zabs: Ok...
* [Huber places his staff down.]
*All: אני מר ביג צ'ונגוס, אני מר סוס. אני מר שכחתי את זה, אני מר יו מונגוס.
*[They repeat the chant 5 times, when suddenly, a purple portal appears behind them.]
*Hubert: Woah...
*Kuromi: Um, Hubert. Are you sure we should trust this?
*Hubert: Yes, yes!
* [Hubert steps towards the portal in awe, and places his arm in cautiously, before he's sucked in. Pause.]
*Quagmire: Welp, he's gone! I guess we shoul-
*[Suddenly, Hubert comes out of the portal on top of an identical copy of his previous car, a BMW 700.]
*Hubert: Our ride is here!
*[Hubert goes to lean on the car.]
*Hubert: You guys must've thought I really wasn't gonna-
*[Cut to a shot of the area. The gang is atop a giant hill, with it descending very far down left. Due to Hubert leaning on the car, it starts to fall down the hill. Hubert, afraid, grabs onto the car. "Frantic Pursuit" starts to play.]
*Dark Stewie: Oh, butternuts! The car's gone!
* Mr. Zabs: And so is Hubert!
*Quagmire: Guys, we gotta go FETCH him!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: THE FUCK YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!
* Mr. Zabs: You okay dude?
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: No, this deadbeat drunk came up to me!
*Dave Miller: Mr. Krabs called me that earlier...
*[Flashback.]
===Musical Number 3===
[MR. KRABS]
Sponge, me boy!
[SPONGEBOB]
Yeah?
[MR. KRABS.]
What's his deal?
[SPONGEBOB, spoken.]
I think he likes kids!
[MR. KRABS.]
Better prep a kids meal!
[SPONGEBOB.]
Um... Mr. Krabs, this guys a threat sir!
[MR. KRABS.]
Oh... How 'bout I treat him like the health inspector!
From man of the business to killer in scraps
I went from rags to riches
You're riches gone rags
So sad, that robot band took your son's life
Like me pizza delivery
he had it in one bite!
People say you're quite the genius
but hey, I beg to differ
Just a deadbeat drunk
even made his name "Miller"
Me mattress stays bigger!
I lay on eight figures
You're so broken
you almost made me pay Squidward!
Me secret formula still keeps
Bikini Bottom lined for days
You keep repeated formulas riddled
inside your games
I served in the war and I earned me stars
While you just put a different meaning
in purple hearts!
*[Flashforward.]
*Dark Stewie: That's great, but we gotta catch Hubert!
*["Frantic Pursuit" begins to play again.]
*Kuromi: Quick, grab the lid of that Trash can!
*Quagmire: What use would that have!
* [Kuromi grabs a machine out of her pocket, which strangely, is just in her fur.]
*Kuromi: With this here Size-in-ator by Doofenshmirtz...
* [Kuromi makes the trash can lid bigger.]
* Mr. Zabs: Oh! Boogie Boarding!
* [They all hop on the trash can lid and follow Hubert down the streets of Hungary.]
*Dark Stewie: Hang on, Hubert! We're coming for you!
*[Cut to Hubert, hanging onto the car.]
*Hubert: Man, if only there was something I could-
*[Hubert hits a fruit selling stand. Due to this, he gets injured, however he thankfully finds some glue and glues himself to the back of the car.]
* Hubert: Phew! At least nothing bad could happen-
*[Hubert hits a food selling stand, and a bowl of hotdogs and baked beans lands on his head.]
*Hubert: Oh, boy.
* [Hubert licks it off his face.]
*Hubert: It was good though!
*[Cut back to the gang.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Wow, this feels like something out of an action movie!
*Quagmire: Just imagine if this were a movie! That'd be awesome!
*Kuromi: Focus, everyone! We need to catch up to Hubert and get that car back!
*Hubert (yelling): Don't worry about me, just get Freddy's Doo-Hickey-inizer! I know this car is like the only way of transportation we have to get there, but just... just get it!
*Mr. Zabs: We can't leave you behind!
*[Cut to Mr. Rabs and RongeRob closing up the Patty Shack. "Kamehameha Waltz" plays.]
*Mr. Rabs: Well, RongeRob! Another fine day at the Patty Shack!
*RongeRob: Yup! You know what doesn't make sense?
*Mr. Rabs: What's that?
*RongeRob: It's 2012!
*Mr. Rabs: Yeah, I can't believe it. All this stuff in this film is happening in 2012.
*RongeRob: That's awesome!
*Mr. Rabs: Let's hope no weird stuff starts happening 11 years from now.
*RongeRob: Yeah, me too!
*[Cut to black.]
* [Fade in from black.]
* Kuromi: We're gaining on him!
*Mr. Zabs: Grab onto Hubert, Quagmire!
*[Quagmire reaches out and grabs Hubert, causing the car to speed up a lot more. Hubert gets on the trash can lid.]
*Hubert: Thanks, guys. But how are we gonna get the car?
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Easy! We-
*[Cut to the car. It hits a wall, crushing it.]
*Dark Stewie: Wait, guys. If we're right behind the car... then that means!
*[They notice the wall in front of them.]
*All: AAAAAAAA!!!!
* [They hit the wall. Cut to later...]
*Hubert: Oh, what happened?
* Then bends: I don't know, man.
*Mr. Zabs: Wait, Kuromi, didn't you used to have a different voice?
* Kuromi: What? What do you mean? I'm the same as I've always been?
* Zoltan's Mum: How did I get here?
*Dark Stewie: Hold on, this is confusing. All three of you look the same!
*Then bends: Oh, yeah? I'm slightly...
*[Then bends pulls a ruler out of his pocket.]
*Then bends: Shorter... then all of you.
*Mr. Zabs: I hate how you have to make everything so complex! You just HAD to make you, Kuromi AND Zoltan's Mum look the exact same! You Malicious Bends!
*Then bends: Woah, woah, woah! I'm not malicious!
*[Pan left to SF99, leaning against a wall and shaking his head.]
*SF99: Tsk, tsk, tsk.
*Then bends: Oh, I hate that stupid eel! Anyway, I'm off to go with Zoltan and his mother.  See you guys later!
*Zoltan: Can you believe we all fell out of heaven like that?
* Then bends: I know, right? So cool!
* [The three go in their limo.]
*Hubert: Now, let's go to the Sahara Desert!
*[Montage of them going to the Sahara Desert. The Dinks from "SpaceBalls" sing the song they were singing in that film over this.]
*Hubert: You know what guys? I just realized, but the Himalayas aren't even close to here.
*[Their car explodes again.]
*Hubert: And now we're stuck in the middle of a desert.
*[They all fall down, as they were still sitting when the car exploded.]
*Kuromi: Well, that's just great! We're stuck in the middle of nowhere!
*Mr. Zabs: I might have something in my pocket! Let me see!
*[Flashforward.]
*Hubert: Wait for it...
*[Flashback.]
*Mr. Zabs: What? A paperclip and a rubber band? How are we gonna live off of that!
*[Flashback.]
*Freddy Fazbear: We had to explain ALL of that just to get there?
*Hubert: Yeah! I mean! It's all important, right guys.
*Others: No.
*Hubert: Come on, Fido?
*[Fido shakes his head no.]
*Kuromi: Even though I hate that stupid mouse, and I hate my child., I still agree with him.
*Mr. Zabs: You don't have a kid!
*Kuromi: Tell that to him!
*[Cut to a shot of a Bandsaw, cradling a baby Kuromi.]
*Dark Stewie: Yipe!
*Hubert: Now, let's go back to our story!
*[Flashback.]
*Quagmire: Guys, look. There's an elevator.
*Dark Stewie: How can we be so sure it'll get us out of here?
*Quagmire: Well, it's leading up to a zipline to the Himalayas.
*Dark Stewie: Yeah, I don't know. I wouldn't trust it.
*Hubert: You know what, Mr. Zabs, Kuromi and I will go in and check it out FOR you, since you're so afraid.
*[Mr. Zabs and Kuromi appear on the screen, in a similar vein to the scene in Awful Fawful's "Deliver Us" at 4:05.]
*Mr. Zabs: Let's roll!
*[Cut to them heading towards the elevator. The background suddenly appears similar to the scene right after the scene above in "Deliver Us," and the same musical track used in said scene (Stormy Nights) plays.]
*Mr. Zabs: Bye, guys!
*[They go inside the elevator.]
*Hubert: Which floor?
*Mr. Zabs: Well, we want to get to that zipline, so we should probably click on the zipline button!
*Hubert: Alright!
*[Hubert clicks the button. The elevator goes up, but suddenly, it stops.]
*Hubert: Uh-oh.
==HUBERT: THE MOVIE: Three's a Crowd==
*Kuromi: Are we... are we stuck here?
*[Text flashes on screen saying “KUROMI”.]
*Hubert: Seems like it.
*[Text flashes on screen saying “HUBERT”.]
*Mr. Zabs: Wha-
*[Text flashes on screen saying “MR. ZABS”.]
*Kuromi: Oh, dear God. One of my biggest fears is being stuck in an elevator with Hubert.
*Mr. Zabs: Don't worry, I'll try to fix this. Let me see if I can make something with this paperclip and rubber band.
*[As Mr. Zabs tries to make something with those objects, Kuromi and Hubert try to talk.]
*Hubert: So, we're really trapped in here, huh.
*Kuromi: Yeah. This reminds me of that time I went to the Rabs Awards.
*Hubert: That hasn't happened yet.
*Kuromi: Oh, jeez!
*[Kuromi facepalms.]
*Kuromi: I'm tired of this taking place in 2012!
*[Cut to SpongeRob's house.]
*SpongeRob: Hey, Anti-Larry! Boy, I love this grandfather clock!
*[Kuromi walks in.]
*Kuromi: I'm gonna need this for a second.
*SpongeRob: Hey! That's my grand...
*[Kuromi walks off of the background, into a white void.]
*SpongeRob: Um... WHAT!
*[Cut back to the elevator. Kuromi walks in from the side.]
*Kuromi: Alright guys, brace yourselves.
*[Cut to Mr. Zabs and Hubert putting braces inside of their mouths. They both do a "Thumbs up.]
*Kuromi: Ok, here goes!
*[Kuromi slams the grandfather clock on the ground, breaking it, and all of time. Suddenly, everything goes black and white (like using ONLY the colors Black and White. No greys.) Stormy Nights plays again.]
*Hubert: What the hell, dan! You just destroyed all of time!
*Voice: Yeah, come on.
*Mr. Zabs: Who said that- Jolly Good Fellow?
*Time God (voice): I did. You morons just destroyed all of time.
*Mike (voice): Yeah, come on guys.
*Kuromi: Oh, hey Mike! I haven't met you yet. I haven't met your mother yet either. I hope you're a cool guy 12 years from now!
*Mike (voice): I am!
*Mr. Zabs: Oh, yeah! Mike! From "The SpongeBob an-"
*Kuromi: "The Mr. Rabs Spin-Off!" you mean! Anyway, Mike, how's it going?
*Mike (voice): Things are weird. You see-
*[Static.]
*Hubert: Woah. That's a lot of important lore. You guys gotta listen to him.
*Mike (voice): Wait, Hubert! I thought you were dead! You know, even since you-
*[Static.]
*Mike (voice): I thought you were gonna-
*[Static.]
*Mike (voice): -forever!
*Hubert: Well, I'm still here. Could you help us get out of this elevator?
*Time God (voice): No.
*Hubert: Hey, FUCK YOU! You know that?
*Time God 2 (voice): Hey, calm down, man. We can't get you out of that elevator, but we'll help you save Freddy Fazbear!
*Hubert: An offer almost as interesting as Anaya's... hmm... I don't know, this is tough. Let's bring Zoltan in. He's always good at accepting offers, like he did earlier today, or a couple days from now, or a couple years from now, whenever you're reading this.
*Time God 2 (voice): You have 5 minutes to answer. We'll be out fixing the space time continuum.
*Hubert: Alright, let's call him in.
*[Hubert breathes in heavily.]
*Hubert: ZOLTAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
*[Cut to Zoltan, Then bends and Zoltan's Mum inside of the limo from earlier. They appear to be getting home from some sort of event.]
*Then bends: Zoltan, are you okay?
*Zoltan: I... I hate my child.. I mean, I have to go.
*[The limo stops, as Zoltan steps out.]
*Then bends: See you later!
*Zoltan's Mum: Don't die!
*Zoltan: I won't!
*[The limo leaves, and Zoltan pulls a red bull out of his pocket.]
*Zoltan: I knew this would come in handy someday.
*[Zoltan drinks the red bull and suddenly gains wings. He begins flying towards the elevator. Cut to The Sahara Desert.]
*Dark Stewie: Guys look! A birdie!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Woah...
*[Zoltan flies into the elevator, breaking the wall like glass.]
*Mr. Zabs: Not to worry! I'll fix it!
*[Mr. Zabs fixes the wall.]
*Kuromi: You idiot! You just fixed our only escape!
*Mr. Zabs: Sorry.
*Hubert: Come on, Zabs! You're better than this! Anyways, Zoltan. Should I accept this offer?
*Zoltan: Sex Edward.
*Hubert: Interesting proposition. I'll ask him about it.
*Kuromi: So, what do we do now? We've still got a little bit left before the Time Gods come back to consult us.
*Zoltan: I dunno.
*[Silence.]
*Mr. Zabs: So, Party Noob.
*Kuromi: He's a nice guy!
*Party Noob: I know I am!
*Hubert: HOW DO YOU PEOPLE GET IN HERE?
*Party Noob: Sorry! I just wanted to join in on the fun!
*Hubert: We're not having fun... WE'RE INFINITELY STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR UNTIL THE END OF TIME UNLESS THE TIME GOD'S FIX THE TIMELINE!
*Party Noob: Oh. I'm-I'm sorry.
*[Party Noob skips off, crying. Once again breaking the wall.]
*Mr. Zabs: Alright, our escape. Let's get out of here.
*[Mr. Zabs, Hubert and Kuromi walk out of the Elevator, only to fall down into the time void. They are teleported back into the elevator.]
*Hubert: Guess that didn't work.
*Kuromi: No, it didn't.
*Mr. Zabs: Well, we really are stuck here! Drat!
*[Mr. Zabs hits a wall out of anger.]
*Hubert: Wow, you're strong.
*Mr. Zabs: I know, I know. I'm getting bored, so I'm gonna watch the-
*[Static.]
*Mr. Zabs: -show.
*[Mr. Zabs pulls a TV out of his pocket and tunes into this show.]
*Mr. Zabs: Mr. Zabs: Ha! He got hit in the head with a coconut!
*[Kuromi and Hubert look at each other, and shrug.]
*Kuromi: I guess we could watch it with you.
*Zoltan: Can I join in?
*Hubert: Sure!
*[Hubert checks his watch.]
*Hubert: It's been 4 minutes and 50 seconds. We take the deal!
*[Hubert and Time God 2 shake hands.]
*Time God 2 (voice): Alright, here you go.
*[Time God 2 hands Hubert the part Freddy needs.]
*Hubert: Wow! What a nice guy.
*Time God 2 (voice): I'm awfully flattered. We're still at work here fixing time. It'll be done in a few minutes.
*[Hubert looks at the part Time God 2 gave him.]
*Hubert: I'm pretty sure this'll work.
*Kuromi: Really? It's missing a cord right there.
*Hubert: Not good. Are there any cord sellers nearby?
*Mr. Zabs: Yeah, 30 miles from here, in the Himalayas.
*Hubert: That'll be like an hour from here!
*Zoltan: I hate that stupid 30 miles.
*Hubert: You always have the right things to say, buddy.
*[The colors go back to normal.]
*Time God 2 (voice): Alright, things should be good now!
*Hubert: Now does anyone know how to fix an elevator?
*Zoltan: I knows! I took an elevator fixing class back in '98!
*[Zoltan pulls out reading glasses and a giant book, titled "Elevator Fixing 101."]
*Zoltan: You silly geese! Just click the "Fix this elevator NOW!" button!
*Hubert: Oh.
*[Zoltan clicks the "Fix this elevator NOW!" button.]
*[The elevator goes up to the zipline. Hubert goes to the hole in the elevator.]
*Hubert: GUYS, GUYS!
*Dark Stewie: YES?
*Hubert: THE ELEVATOR WORKS!
*Quagmire: THAT'S AWESOME!
*Kuromi: I KNOW IT IS! HERE, USE THIS LADDER TO CLIMB ON!
*[Kuromi pulls a ladder from out of her pocket and throws it down, with it somehow landing perfectly. The rest of Hubert's friends climb in the elevator.]
*Hubert: Alright, everyone! Prepare for a rocky ri-woah!
*[The elevator starts going down the zipline to the Himalayas. The elevator starts to go really fast.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Woah! This is fun!
*Kuromi: WE'RE GOING TO DIE!
*[The elevator stops. Remember, 30 miles is a long walk, sure, but this is a really fast elevator on a zipline, you dimwit.]
*Hubert: We're here!
*[Hubert gags.]
*Hubert: I'll be with you in a minute!
*[Hubert throws up off the side of the elevator. Meanwhile the gang ventures into the Himalayas.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: So, where do we find this cord for Freddy's Doo-Hickey-inizer?
*Mr. Zabs: Probably up that mountain over there.
*[Nude Sting plays as we see a shot for the sign of a village over there. The village's name is "Place where you can find a cord for Freddy's Doo-Hickey-inizer."]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Seems like the place.
*[Hubert appears.]
*Hubert: Does anyone have a toothbrush?
*[Transition to Later.]
*Hubert: It's a bit cold, don't ya think?
*[Cut to a shot of Kuromi, who is fully encased in ice.]
*Kuromi: Yeah, little bit!
*[They come across a cave.]
*Mr. Zabs: Guys! A cave!
*Dark Stewie: I wouldn't trust that if I were you.
*Mr. Zabs: It's probably fine! Watch.
*[Mr. Zabs walks in. He runs out, screaming almost instantly.]
*Yeti Krabs: Hi.
*All: AAAAAA!!!
*Yeti Krabs: Woah, woah, woah, there! I mean no harm. I noticed you were all freezing out here, and I wanted to offer some of my fur.
*Mr. Zabs: Really?
*Yeti Krabs: Of course!
*Hubert: So, you're not gonna eat us?
*Yeti Krabs: That's just an outdated stereotype. Us Yetis are nice.
*[Yeti Kras hands them some fur.]
*Hubert: Thanks, Yeti Krabs! You're a real lifesaver.
*Bag of Life Savers: I guess I just don't exist, huh.
*[The Bag of Life Savers walks off the mountain, into the freezing cold water below.]
*Hubert: THERE IT IS!
*[Cut to a shot of "Place where you can find a cord for Freddy's Doo-Hickey-inizer."]
===Musical Number 4===
[HUBERT]
Take a spin 
Now you’re in 
with the techno set 
You’re going surfing on the internet!
*Minecraft Villager: Hey, guys. What brings you to our humble abode?
*Hubert: We're in need of a cord for this Doo-Hickey-inzer.
*[Hubert pulls it out of his pocket.]
*Minecraft Villager: Ah, I know right where to find it! Follow me!
*[The gang follows him.]
*Minecraft Villager: It should be in one of these bins.
*[Quagmire runs in, and goes into a bin.]
*Quagmire: I think I found it! Over here!
*[Shot of the cord.]
*Hubert: That's it! Great job, Quagmire!
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Now, we can finally fix Freddy!
*[Flashforward.]
*Kuromi: Are we gonna explain getting back to Bikini Bottom?
*Hubert: No. That could be its own movie. I'm think "Hubert: The Three Movie."
*Kuromi: But that'd only be the second movie.
*Hubert: Keep your mouth shut, and don't get ahead of yourself.
*[Flashback.]
*Ninja Tyler Blevins: Dr. Fortnite B. Science... WE HAVE THE PART!
*Dr. Fortnite B. Science: Oh, goody goody! Now we can fix Freddy here! Let me just carefully...
*[Dr. Fortnite B. Science carefully puts the Doo-Hickey-inzier inside of Freddy.]
*Dr. Fortnite B. Science: There!
*[Freddy Fazbear sputters, and then turns back on. "Another Best Day Ever" plays.]
*Freddy Fazbear: Hey, guys! How's it hanging!
*Hubert: Freddy! You're back!
*[The gang hugs Freddy.]
*Freddy: So what happened while I was gone?
*Hubert: It's a long story!
*[Flashforward.]
*Hubert: Oh, I'm so wasted.
*Dark Stewie: We should probably go to bed.
*Hubert: I'm not going to bed! I've got something to do.
*[Hubert heads upstairs, the gang following behind him.]
*Kuromi: Hubert! Don't drive drunk!
*Mr. Zabs: You're gonna die!
*Hubert: Don't worry, I'll be fine!
*[Hubert steps into the car and drives off.]
HUBERT WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN
Category:Movies
Category:2024
Category:2024 Movies
Category:Then bends
Category:2020s