The Parrot and the Owl

=== The Parrot and the Owl===
“I’m sorry, you know.” Karla says gently from where she sits at his side as Hermann lies and stares at his ceiling. Hermann doesn't respond for a moment, too angry at life to muster the energy at first.
It’s been a few days since his “attempt” and his wrists still burn like mad. Dietrich insists that he check the wounds daily to clean and dress them. Hermann only lets him because he can't fight off his older, bigger brother, regardless of his physical state. After Dietrich leaves, Karla slips in and sits on Hermann’s bed. On a better day he might demand that she leave; today is not a better day.
“About what?” Hermann asks listlessly. That he was a monster? That he couldn't ever be normal like her? That he couldn't do anything to be better, short of ripping out his feathers one by one?
“For the ‘Bluebird’ thing.” Karla sounds sheepish and almost grabs his hand before retreating.
“Ah, yes.” The “Bluebird” thing is when she'd painted his hair and wings in bright blue hair dye. Not that color-blind Hermann could tell what hue it had been, but he felt the cold mess. He felt it more when his father chastised him for letting Karla do it to him at all. He'd spent the rest of that day alone and shivering in his room after cleaning up, his feathers dripping all over his floor. Karla had never apologized before and no one brought it up again until now.
“I was a brat, and I’m sorry.” Karla says, her voice taking on the special hint of sadness she always has when speaking of Hermann’s difficulties. Hermann doesn’t look at his only sister. So much else has happened since he was ten; Karla’s cruelty barely makes the list.
“You're forgiven.” Karla grabs his hand at last over his wing drapped over the side, and Hermann flinches. His siblings know how little he likes touching, but Karla’s grip is strong and sure.
“No, Manny! Listen to me. Father was wrong! Father's always wrong. I chose to torment you and that was my fault, not yours.”
“I tempted you to do it. If I weren’t a monster ….”
“Damn it, Manny! How many times must we tell you that you aren't a monster?” Karla is near tears and Hermann winces. He hates to hear her cry and even more so over him. His guilt feels like fire and Hermann turns to anger as his shield.
“But I am, Karla! We all know it! I'm never going to be normal. No one will ever want me. Even Father doesn't want me!” Hermann chokes out the last word on a whisper and his own eyes well. He’s sixteen, for Christ’s sake! He shouldn’t be crying!
“I want you! Bastien and Deiterich want you! And someday someone will come along and they're going to love you so much! And you’ll trust them and they'll know and it won't matter!” Karla says with deep conviction. Hermann almost believes her. He sighs and finally looks over at his pretty sister. She's so intelligent and kind and normal that Hermann’s heart aches with envy and gratitude that she doesn't live his life.
“I liked that boy so much.” Hermann says, his tears leaking from his eyes. He doesn't bother to wipe them away.
“You'll find someone. When we're all free of Father, you'll find them.” Karla laughs with a hiccup as she squeezes Hermann’s hand. “No one can resist those beautiful soft feathers.”
Hermann squeezes back and smiles for the first time in days. He may be a monster, but if he can find someone who loves monsters, maybe he'll have a chance. He’s such a little thing; he can’t be so frightening.
“I’d like to meet a scientist, like me.”
Karla laughs and strokes over Hermann’s wing, lulling him to sleep. It's several minutes before she answers. “Perhaps a biologist? So he can take care of you.”
“Oh, no! I wouldn't want someone so obsessed with how organisms work.” Hermann says with alarm, though his voice slurs with contentment. Karla laughs again and Hermann feels loved, so rare and special for him.
“Well, who knows?” Hermann begins to drift off as he feels Karla gently remove her hand from his and leave his room, closing the door behind her. Hermann’s smile remains as he dreams of a faceless love that holds him tight, someone that loves his wings and the boy attached to them.
Who knows indeed?
Category:Ficlet
Category:Birds of a Feather storyline
Category:Hermann
Category:Karla
Category:Hermann (ficlet)
Category:Karla (ficlet)
Category:Hermann has wings
Category:Hermann thinks himself a monster
Category:Dietrich (mention)
Category:Lars (mention)
Category:Edan (mention)
Category:Heartbreaker (mention)
Category:Hermann's suicide
Category:Hermann's siblings
Category:Karla's siblings
Category:Dietrich is a doctor
Category:Hermann and touch