S05E02 - Shag Him Again, Darling

In this episode we continue reading chapter two of "Zeroing In" by trylsora and then proceeds on to complete chapter three.
== Episode Summary ==
Harry tells Ron and Hermione about his wild night. Ron is unbearable (as usual). Hermione advises Harry to masturbate a lot (for his health of course). Draco has a heart-to-heart with Pansy.
== Pairings ==
* Draco/Harry
* Hermione/Krum (implied)
* Pansy/Blaise (implied)
== Notable Moments ==
* Mention of GIRLS NIGHT!
* Lyndsay's grandfather is also named Dana...which puts a whole weird level on this story for her, I imagine.
* Allie is a fan of feminine male names (especially Ashley).
* Lyndsay needs to have a clear mental image of the sex logistics.
* The hosts rip into Hermione for thinking her life is so interesting that her not telling the boys about her vacation is a punishment.
* Allie shockingly makes a Forgetting Sarah Marshall reference (which is not a 90's movie)
* Allie gigglefest (unclear on what has struck her as so funny)
* Seamus + Neville = Seaville (Shovel?)
* Allie and Lyndsay discuss Dana's nipples and declare all nipples equal
* Wands down for Ron being homophobic and Lyndsay is upset
* Lyndsay (jokingly) accuses Allie of white-washing because she uses an American accent on "Mum". She then attempts to correct it and manages to make it even more American sounding.
* Molly Weasley suddenly has a very thick Southern accent (initiated by Lyndsay and Danny this time) and is very open-minded about polyamory.
* Allie mentions King of the Hill only to pronounce that she hates it and doesn't find it funny.
* "'I'll show her that I'm not polyamorous. I'll bring 2 women home!' Genius" ~ Lyndsay, surprisingly bashing Ron a little.
* "Molly Weasley always calls it a purple-headed yoghurt-slinger!" ~Allie
* Questions about the specific functions/rules around Zerophilia continue to be raised.
* The hosts lose it when Pansy makes an appearance - cue Dansy voice! (and also a mark on the hosts' WANGO! board)
* Gasping Lyndsay
* They lose it again (and sing "Blaise is in the house!") when Blaise is mentioned
* Lyndsay develops an eleborate conspiracy theory, in which Blaise and Pansy getting together has been an evil plot by Blaise set up in Season 2 when he set up Draco and Hermione using Amortentia.
** Being with Blaise has made Pansy slightly evil (tells Dana to sleep with Harry again to switch back to Dana and strand Harry as "Harriet")
* Hosts question how Harry did not notice the entire time he and Dana/Draco were hooking up that he was switching back and forth, even with a blind fold on.
* Danny compares blindfolded cunnilingus to bobbing for apples
* Lyndsay proposes that it would be cool if Harry's scar glowed in the dark or under blacklight.
* Dubious consent: Harry did not knowingly consent to all aspects of his hookup with Dana/Draco.
* Danny's Pansy voice kind of unravels a bit.
* Lyndsay works out the sex logistics required for both Draco and Harry to impregnate each other and live happily ever after as a family. Lyndsay makes a Twins reference. Allie then mentions something about twins separated at birth and finding each other years later at a bar with one dressed as a vampire and another dressed as a mummy? (not sure whether this is an actual movie or if Allie was just pitching a movie idea she has...I'd watch it)
* "Draco shows Pansy to the door, hugging hughorning her." ~ Allie
* Danny tries to remove some of the stigma attached to zerophilia. He doesn't see it as a disease. Lyndsay is put to rights, but seems to have pinpointed the "antidick" (antidote)
* The hosts are ecstatic that Pansy calls Draco/Dana "Darling" again
* Burner Owl reference
* "What a sweet way to talk about masturbation, 'Mom, I was just doing therapy!'" ~ Lyndsay
* Reference to Ron having sex with Harry in Quickie 10.
* Hermione, as usual, is 17 steps ahead of Harry and is already starting to work out that they probably know Dana.
* Lie by omission is still a lie.
* "This is not consent-y"~Lyndsay
* We hear a beautiful rendition of the "Wands Up Wands Down" song by Potterotic Paul.
== Wands Up or Down? ==
* Allie: neutral
** up for Pansy and her friendship with Draco
** loved Hermione being typical Hermione
** props to the creativity of the story.
** but no sex...
* Lyndsay: up
** up for Pansy being pregnant by Blaise
** slightly down for the portrayal of Ron
** up because it sounds like Hermione and Harry will have sex
** up for Molly's openness and acceptance of polyamory
* Danny: up
** for Pansy
** liked how the author incorporated exposition (questions around Zerophilia) into the dialogue
== Potterotics Shout-Outs ==
* Megan was the first Wango winner!
* UncleAragog78 provides an awesome version of the Wands Up or Wands Down song with piano accompaniment which the hosts play.
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 5
Category:2 Wands Up
Category:2018
Category:Reader: Allie
Category:Allie: Hoftie
Category:Lyndsay: Up
Category:Danny: Up