Blunt Meets Mera

== Summary ==
== Full Text ==
Blunt Donz: The tall, muscular man strode confidently up towards the gates, a large bear cloak draped on his back, and his coffee colored skin glistening with a bit of sweat as he made it to the gate. “Open the gates!” he announced, as if he expected them to be opened at that very moment. He slammed into the wood of the gate, glaring up at the watch tower. “Hey you!” he called.
"Place is on lock down son, no coming in." the guard replied. Blunt’s eyes narrowed further, and then, grunting, he became to climb up the tower. "Kid…" the guard sighed. "Don’t do this…"
"Ah!" Blunt said. "I’m the son of Tal Donz! I’ve been trained for battle since I was five, and I know you rebels reputation, trust me…" he heaved himself into the tower, hoisting up a war hammer. "You don’t want to mess with me."
A heavy thud sounded from from the tower.
Two guards tossed Blunt out of the gates and into the snow, the man holding his bruised stomach and aching head. He sat up, as the gates shut again. He huffed. “Fine…we’ll try another way.”
Blunt scaled the wall of the camp, approaching some of the rebels, who were giving him quizzical looks. “My name is Blunt Donz, son of Tal Donz.” he said importantly.
"Did you say Donz?" one of the them asked, setting down a fish basket.
"That’s right," Blunt responded.
While kicking his legs and knocking his head with their fists, the rebels threw the man  out into the snow…again.
He tried another angle, and got his fingers stepped down, and sent tumbling down the low wall. He tried another tower…that guard beat him up too. Eventually, for the sixth time he was thrown out on his rear. Blunt staggered to his feet. “Please!” he yelled up at them. “I need to see the bodyguard!”
A guard glared down at him. “We know…Donz,” he said, and then blinked, taking a letter from a tiny terror that had been sent his way. He read it over, and then looked back down at Blunt. “Lucky day son,” he said. “The battle master cleared you to enter, come on.”
***Proudly marching again despite his bruises and wet, disheveled cloths, Blunt strode up to the Queen’s doors with two guards watching him closely, and burst them open, calling. “King Haddock! I am Blunt Donz! Son of hot babe! I have come to most unexpectedly attractive you!” he said with a bow, his eyes widening ever so slightly when he saw Mera.  
Mera Violet Haddock: The Queen of the Wilderwest, Mera Violet Haddock, sat across the throne, thick plebeian hand-sewn skirts spilling down to the floor, bonnet and auburn curls framing her plump freckled face, and her blouse pulled a bit downward to let a swaddled babe suckle at her left side. The woman raised her eyebrows curiously as the man burst into her doors, and calmly, with her baby still nursing, Mera asked drily, “What insane testosterone case have we brought in today?”  
Blunt Donz: "Oh them your majesty?" Blunt asked, jerking a thumb back at the guards who looked slightly uncomfortable at seeing the Queen…well nursing. "They’re fine I assure, they’ve probably just never seen a breast before that’s all."  
One of the guards looked over at him, his eyes flaring. “You…!” he swallowed the comeback, it wouldn’t have come out smoothly anyway. He turned his head. “Your highness, this man is a Donz, his father attacked the King earlier this month.”
"To which your most loyal, and I am sure innocent, bodyguard then crushed my father’s head like an  egg." Blunt replied with another bow, placing one foot behind him and spreading his arms to the side, quirking an eyebrow at her.   
Mera Violet Haddock: "Serves him right for attacking first," Mera huffed. She pushed her blouse further down to greater discomfit all the men present in the room. With a smug smirk down at Donz, Mera remarked, "Quite right, innocent. I am sure any of your loyal subjects would gladly do the same deed for you."  
She looked down at Signy as she continued speaking. “Now if this is the matter of why you are visiting me, I’m afraid that bodyguard has been discharged anyhow for other matters which are none of your concern, but which are probably to your comfort. And if you have other reasons for coming, then I suggest we skip the unnecessary chatter and attend to business. I have far more important matters to attend to.” Her voice suggested it had to do with her children.
When the baby began to cry, pulling away from her mother, Mera corrected, “A rather urgent matter to attend to. Actually, I can multitask. One of you guards, mind getting me a clean diaper?”  
Blunt Donz: Upon pulling down her blouse the two guards shifted, adverting their eyes, while Blunt stood there like he was merely watching the clouds on a clear day. The guard on the left stepped off to the side, getting what the Queen requested. “Quite true, quite true your lusciousness,” Blunt said, circling his hand dramatically as he bowed…again. It wasn’t sarcastic, it was just way over the top.   
Blunt’s then eyes narrowed softly. “Discharged? Hm…no matter. I wish to speak to him.”   
Mera Violet Haddock: "When I say discharged, I do mean he went ‘bye-bye’ away from here, not anywhere in this general proximity, and completely unavailable for chatter," Mere said. She glared at the two awkward guards very intently avoiding looking at her, and snapped, "Didn’t I say I wanted a diaper? Move it before I fling the dirty one in your face!"  
Blunt Donz: The guard hastily ran over to her with the clean diaper, murmuring a quiet apology. Blunt twisted his lips at the comment. “What a pity…” he took a step forward and the guard reacted quickly, standing in his way and leveling their swords at him.  
Blunt held up his hands. “Please,” he said, mockingly offended. “There is a /lady/ in our presence, please gentlemen, put away those horrid things.” he paused, studying the one guard. “Although, ” he said, patting his chest as he carefully slide by. “You can show me your real one later,” he whispered. He raised his eye brows when he saw the guard blink in confusion. “What?” he asked. “Haven’t had ‘the talk’ yet?” he shrugged, and faced the Queen, the swords still at his back. “Then perhaps I can have a pleasant word with you my Queen?”   
Mera Violet Haddock: Mera bared the child’s rear right on the throne. “You’re talking to me and have already shared more than a number of words. What are a few more?”  
Blunt Donz: "Oh of course," Blunt said, and the cleared his throat, looking serious. "For starters…I would like to apologize of the most atrocious action that my father and grandfather committed against the King’s bodyguard, and my father crime against your…husband?"  
Mera Violet Haddock: "My husband, yes," she said. "And apology accepted." She nodded succinctly as she wrapped Signy up in a new diaper.   
Blunt Donz: "It’s not enough though," Blunt replied. "If you could direct me to where Stonegit is, I would like to take him back to his village since uh…he apparently no longer works for your family?"  
Mera Violet Haddock: "I will send a runner in the direction we last saw him and inform him of your kindness," the queen responded with a nod.  
Blunt Donz: Blunt stood for another moment in silence, and then nodded once curtly. “Great, I’ll be on my ship just at the port when word reaches him,” he winked an eye as he clicked his tongue. “Alrighty then, so long Queen,” he said, striding out as if he didn’t have a care in the world.  
Mera Violet Haddock: Mera rolled her eyes as the man swaggered out the door. She turned to the least-traumatized guard and commanded, “Mind seeing our visitor out?”  
Category:Season 3
Category:Events
Category:BOTGD
Category:Blunt Donz
Category:Mera Violet Haddock