Dead Fish Has a Shadow

Contains censored moderate language and mild sex references.
Dead Fish Has a Shadow
SpongeBob loses his job, but finds a fortune in welfare fraud for $150,000.
Season: 1 Episode: 1
Total Episode Count: 1
Prod. no.: 1ACX01
==Characters==
===Main===
*SpongeBob
*Sandy
*Squidward
*Plankton
*Patrick
*Pearl
===Other===
*Fred 
*Tom 
*Bob 
*Barbara 
*Dale
*Mr. Krabs
*Judge
*Xavier
*Mail Fish Women
*The Black Fish Knight
*Dick and Paul
*Fish God
*Kool-Aid Man 
*Ed McFishton
*Dick F. Clark
*Adolf Hitler
*Tom Hanks
*Bill Clinton
* Jerry Seinfeld
*John Fishden
*Pat Tunahall
*Scoot Baio
*Eric Peterson
*The Brady Bunch
*Arnold Dudley 
*Pound Sea Poochies 
*Baby Heimlich 
*G.I. Jew Fish
==Plot==
As Sandy prepares dinner, Plankton puts the final touches on his mind-control device, only to be taken away from him by Sandy, who won't allow 'toys' at the table.
Later, SpongeBob asks Sandy for permission to attend an upcoming stag party. After he promises he won't drink, Sandy lets him go. Unfortunately, SpongeBob does not need Sandy's advice and plays such drinking games as "Drink the beer". He goes to work the next day with a hangover, and falls asleep on the job as a saftey inspector in a toy factory. SpongeBob misses such things as a butcher knife, surge protector, gasoline can, razor blades, a porcupine, toaster with forks inside and plug in water. The company receives bad press after releasing unsafe toy products, and SpongeBob is promptly fired.
At dinner, he breaks the news to his friends, but decides to keep it from Sandy. SpongeBob tries different jobs, such as cereal mascot and sneeze guard but fails miserably. Squidward pressures him to tell her the truth, but all he manages to do is to tell Sandy how fat she is. Squidward insists that SpongeBob must look out for his friends welfare.
With the word "welfare" in his mind, SpongeBob soon applies for a government assistance at a welfare office. But a processing error creates a weekly check for $150,000. Telling Sandy he received a big raise, SpongeBob spends his money on many foolish things. SpongeBob rents the Statue of David, treats Pearl to cosmetic surgery and even goes so far to surround his house with a moat to protect them from the black knight.
Unfortunately, Sandy is given the welfare check by the mail fish lady and storms at SpongeBob. SpongeBob decides to return the money to the taxpayers by dumping it from a blimp during Super Bowl XXXIII, and Squidward accompanies him. They end up in prison.
Eventually, Sandy receives the bad news and goes to court, where the judge sentences SpongeBob to 24 months in prison. Sandy tries to explain he's not bad and she loves him, and insists that no matter what, she will always stand by her friend. The judge agrees, and sends her to jail with him. Plankton, being a micro-organism, must have his frenemies by his side, regardless his burning hate for them. He then whips out his mind control device and forces the judge into letting his frenemie go free and get his job back.
SpongeBob states that he has learned his lesson and will never do it again. And instead he is going to try for such things as a minority scholarship, happual harassment suit, and a disability claim.
==Cutaways==
#Hitler works out
#SpongeBob drinks cutaway montage
#Hungover SpongeBob
#SpongeBob tries other jobs montage
#SpongeBob lies to Sandy
#SpongeBob farts for the first time
#Drunk Clinton
#The boys from Diff'rent Strokes get molested
==Transcript==
[We are introduced to SpongeBob SquarePants, Sandy Cheeks, Patrick Star, Sheldon Plankton, and Squidward Tentacles, who are sitting watching an episode the The Brady Bunch.]
Jan: Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg's jacket.
Mike: Greg, were you smoking cigarettes?
Greg: No, Dad
Mike: [to Carol] Well, he's lying, there's no doubt about that. [to Greg] Greg, I'm afraid your punishment will be four hours in the snake pit. [Mike pushes a button revealing a trap door in the floor] Maybe that'll give you some time to think about what you've done.
Greg: Aw, man. [dives in]
Jan: That'll teach him.
Mike: And, Jan, I'm afraid you've earned a day in the chamber of fire for tattling on your brother. [pushes a button and unlocks a steel door with roaring flames behind it]
[cuts back to SpongeBob's living room as the gang speaks for the very first time in this series]
Sandy: Uch! Smoking! How does a boy like that go so wrong?
SpongeBob: Well, they live in a crummy neighborhood.
Squidward: The Bradys?
SpongeBob: Oh yeah, they got robbers, thugs, drug dealers, aw, you name it.
[An orange fish woman with a plate full of pancakes appears at the window]
Woman: You folks want some pancakes?
SpongeBob: No, thank you. [to his friends] See, that's the worse we got is Jemima's Witnesses.
[theme song/title sequence]
[After the title sequence it then shows SpongeBob's house at night then shows the kitchen where Patrick is doing his homework, Sandy is preparing dinner, Plankton working on his invention, and Pearl reading a magazine]
Pearl: Sandy, my lips are too thin. Can I please get collagen injections?
Sandy: [while holding the cooked ham] Pearl, you don't need to change the way you look. You know, most of world's problems stem from poor self image.
[the scene then cuts to a cutaway showing the outside of "Das Gym" in Germany, then it shows the insides showing a weak Hitler trying to lift weights but stops to see a strong Jewish male laughing with two females admiring him with Hitler glaring at him]
[The scene then cuts back to the kitchen where it shows Plankton finishing on his device]
Plankton: Excellent! The mind control device is nearing completion!
Sandy: Plankton, I said no toys at the table. [then snatches the device from Plankton's hand]
Plankton: Damn you, vile squirrel! You've impeded my work since the day you and that sponge took me out of the Chum Bucket.
Sandy: Oh, don't pout Plankton. You know, I still remember you were so happy looking when we roomed you here.
Plankton: But, of course. That was my victory day. The fruition of my deeply-laid plans to escape from that dilapidating bucket. Return the device, squirrel!
Sandy: No toys, Plankton. [while putting the toy on the top shelf]
Plankton: Very well then. Mark my words, when you least expect it, your uppance will come!
[violent music plays]
Pearl: Sandy, can I turn the heat up?
Sandy: Oh, don't touch the thermostat, Pearl, SpongeBob gets upset.
Pearl: Come on. This thing goes up to 90.
[adjusts the heat, and SpongeBob enters the room quickly]
SpongeBob: Whotouchedthethermostat?
Pearl: God, how does he always know?
SpongeBob: Brain implant, Pearl. Every Sponge has one. Tells you when people are messing with the dial.
Sponge #1: Hey, SpongeBob, my thing went off, your thermostat okay?
SpongeBob: Yeah, s'alright.
Sponge #2: Hey, is my kid over here?
Sponge #1: Forget it, false alarm.
[Sponge #3 then appears behind Sponge #2]
Squidward: [coming into the kitchen cutting around SpongeBob's behind] Woah, ass ahoy. Hey SpongeBob, it's 7:00 and you've still got your pants on. What's the occassion?
Sandy: He's going to a stag party.
SpongeBob:  Now Sandy, I work hard all week to provide for you and the rest. I'm the man of the house. As the man of the house, I order you to give me permission to go to this party.
Sandy: Look, at least promise me you won't drink. Alcohol always leads to trouble.
SpongeBob: Come on, you're worryin' about nothin'.
Sandy: Oh? Remember when you got drunk off the communion wine at church?
[cut to priest giving a sermon at church]
Priest: And so the Lord God smote poor Job with festering boils all over his body...
God: [sitting in one of the pews] Aw, man, I hate it when he tells this story.
Priest: ...yet, miraculously, Job was still able to maintain his dignity.
[SpongeBob is seen drinking lots of communion wine, he coughs]
SpongeBob: Woah, is that really the blood of Christ?
Priest: Yes.
SpongeBob: Man, that guy must've been wasted 24 hours a day, eh?
[cut back to the kitchen]
Sandy: And then there was that time at the ice cream store.
[cut to the gang at an ice cream store where SpongeBob has a cone in his hand]
SpongeBob: Aw, butter rum's my favorite. [licks and passes out immediately, splitting the table in two]
[cut back to the kitchen]
Squidward: [emerging from behind the table] And remember you had an Irish coffee the day we went to see Philadelphia?
[cutaway to a movie theater. Everyone is crying, except for SpongeBo who stares blankly, then claps his hands]
SpongeBob: I got it. That's the guy from Big. Tom Hanks! That's it, aw, funny guy, Tom Hanks! Everything he says is a stitch.
Tom Hanks: [on movie screen] I have AIDS.
SpongeBob: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
[cut back to the kitchen]
Sandy: Promise me, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Sandy, I promise. Not a drop of alcohol is gonna touch these lips tonight.
[then cuts to Fred Rechid's house revealing to be the place of the stag party]
Fred: Hey, who wants to play "Drink the Beer"?!
SpongeBob: Right here! [chugs a can]
Fred: Heh, you win!
SpongeBob: All right! What do I win?
Fred: Another beer!
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm goin' for the high score!
Fred: Well, actually, Xavier's got the high score.
[pans to Xavier standing in front of a grandfather clock]
Xavier: Hey, man, your clock won't flush!
SpongeBob: Y'know, I feel kinda bad, you guys. I promised Sandy I wouldn't drink.
Fred: Aw, don't feel bad, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Ah, gee, I've never thought of it like that.
Attendee #1: Hey, did you bring the po*no?
SpongeBob: Did I bring the po*no? [then shows the attendee a VHS tape of a film A**ablanca] You're gonna love it. It's a classic.
[The scene then cuts to a TV showing the VHS tape which reveals the film to be a parody of the romance film Casablanca]
Rick Blaine: Listen, Ilsa. If I take this thing out and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But soon, and for the rest of your life.
[The scene then shows SpongeBob, Fred, and Stag Party Attendees watching the flim]
SpongeBob: Oh, come on, Ilsa! Get on it!
[The scene cuts back to the movie where it shows Ilsa taking her jacket off revealing her bra and underwear and is about to take her bra off, then the scene goes to static, then stops but showing the Statue of Liberty instead]
Off-screen Documenter: The Statue was originally a gift from France.
[The scene then cuts back to the attendees]
Xavier: What is this?
SpongeBob: Oh, man. Patrick must've taped over this for History Class.
[The attendees then moan]
Attendee #1: Oh, the Statue of Liberty? What are we gonna do?
SpongeBob: Boys, we're gonna drink 'till she's hot.
Fred: Hey, that's just crazy enough to work.
[The attendees then drink their cans]
[The scene then cuts to SpongeBob's house in the morning, then shows the kitchen where the gang is seen with SpongeBob shown to have slept on the table with breakfast on his body]
Sandy: [while pouring coffee into her mug] Pearl, finish your pancakes. Patrick, elbows off of SpongeBob.
[Patrick then takes his elbow off of SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Thanks, Pat.
Sandy: 37 beers. You're setting a great example for the others, SpongeBob.
Patrick: Yeah. A new record. Way to raise the bar, SpongeBob.
Sandy: Patrick, don't talk like that.
SpongeBob: Now, guys, I only drank so the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
Sandy: SpongeBob, what did you promise me last night?
SpongeBob: I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
Sandy: And what did you do?
SpongeBob: Drank at the stag p...Oh-ho-ho! I almost walked into that one. [then haves a headache] Oh, god! Feels like accountants are cranking adding machines in my head.
[Then scene changes to the inside of SpongeBob head where it actually shows accountants cranking adding machines]
Paul: Dick, you ever wonder what's outside those walls?
Dick: Now that's dangerous thinking, Paul. You best stick to your work.
Paul: Heh, Ok.
[The two then continue working then the scene goes back into the kitchen]
Sandy: You see, SpongeBob? A hangover is nature's way of telling you I was right. I mean-- [Sandy then collapses with her chair to the floor]
Pearl: Sandy, are you all right?
Sandy: [emerging from the floor with a chair leg] My goodness. This chair leg was loose. Isn't that silly? I could've broken my helmet.
Plankton: Damn!
[vilolent music plays]
SpongeBob: Look, Sandy. I took a cab home, I slept on the table so I wouldn't wake you up. Nothing bad happened.
Sandy: Well, I guess you're right.
SpongeBob: Apology accepted. All right, I'm off to work. Somebody's gotta put food on this table. [SpongeBob then falls to the floor with all the breakfast]
[The scene then shifts to the Happy Go Krabby Toy Factory also revealing where SpongeBob works then the scene shows the inside]
Mr. Krabs: How're you coming, Dale?
Dale: Well, Mr. Krabs, I've been workin' on the new G.I. Jew line and as you can see, they look great!
G.I. Jew: You call these bagels?
Dale: [rolls eyes] WooOOOOOOAaah! I'm glad he's on our side!
[the scene then shifts to SpongeBob sleeping next to a conveyer belt with toys]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: [waking up] What?
Mr. Krabs: Are you sleeping on the job?
SpongeBob: Uh, no. There's a bug in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate him.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I like you. But I need you to be more than just eye candy around here. It's your job to watch for any toys that could be hazardous to kids. Now, look sharp! [he leaves]
SpongeBob: Uh, yes, sir!
[SpongeBob then falls alseep again letting him miss hazardous items like a butcher knife, surge protector, gasoline can, razor baldes, a sea porcupine, a toaster with forks inside and and an extension cord in water]
more coming soon...
==Reception==
The episode has recieved mostly positive reviews from television critics. Ashan Haque of IGN in 2008 review rated the episode an 8.9/10, praising the integration of humor into the episode's storyline. Hague noted that the episode was "a very strong start to this long running classic series, and revisiting it serves as a reminder that unlike many other television shows, there are very few awkward moments, and much of the show's brilliance is immediately apparent." In 2009, the site singled out "Dead Fish Has a Shadow" as a "strong start [to Family Sponge]".
Robin Pierson of The TV Critic gave the episode a mixed review, rating the episode a 67/100, stating that it is one of the most densely packed pilots on television, he mentioned that it is entertaining but he said that there are many jokes that follow the quality does not win out over quantity saying. He compared SpongeBob to Homer Simpson and he compared the show to The Simpsons and the King of the Hill. He criticized the amount of unfunny jokes while he praised the surreal moments. At the end of his review he stated that "Family Sponge" is a different kind of animated comedy which sets out to do jokes that other cartoons can't do, also mentioning that the show had promise to become really funny.
A more negative review came from EW.com's Ken Tucker, who called the animation clunky, which he said made Hanna-Barbera's animation look like state-of-the-art. Tucker also said in his review that he hoped that smart people would use the Family Sponge half hour to turn off the television set and start a debate over the air strikes in Kososvo Combine and he also called the show "The Simpsons as convinced by a singularly sophomoric mind that lacks any reference some criticism from the Parents Television Council, a watchdog; the creator of this website L. Brent Bozell III wrote that he initially speculated that Family Sponge would be "pushing the envelope".
==Rating==
TV-PG: D
==Trivia/Notes==
*Some scenes from the episode will appear again in season 2s "15 Minutes of Whale Shame".
*The first few paragraphs are remade paragraphs from Pilot Pitch.
*This episode will appear again in Back to the Pilot.
===Censorship===
Some scenes were cut on FOX but left intact on Nick@Nite
*The cutaway of SpongeBob passing out on the table after licking butter rum ice cream was cut.
*The part during the party sequence where Xavier the drunk says "Your clock won't flush." is cut.
*During the sequence where SpongeBob goes to work hungover cuts out the part where one of the workers pitches a new idea for an action figure called "G.I. Jew".
*The part where the Michelangelo statue's p*n*s breaking off was cut.
*The cutaway of SpongeBob losing a music contest to the Von Trapp family was cut before he could say, "That is bull." and getting drowned out by the audience applause, the "bulls*i*" was actually spoken, however it was drowned by the audience to get a lower parental rating, also to prevent the scene being cut.
*The part after SpongeBob says he's going to apply for a minority scholarship and fake credits roll is cut to remove SpongeBob's other two ideas to get money (a happual harrasment suit and a disability claim).
==Gallery==
DFHaS(F).png|French title card
DFHaS(J).png|Japanese title card
DFHaS(S).png|Spanish title card
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