Pizza Tower (Shame)

:This page is for the shame, not the place you dingus.
Pizza Tower is a shame about Italian epicness and what it means to be a professional in the context of Pizza Making. It was released in 2023 by a guy called McPig and his other friends at Tour de Pizza. Pizza Tower is a pretty good shame, but it is hated by Wario for reasons known only to demons. In this shame, Peppino has to go through a tower in order to show a literal pizza that he is cool and not stupid. Freddy Fazbear plays it a lot.
I don't know how else to fatten up this opening... maybe I need some more Italian food.
== Overview ==
=== Plot ===
Peppino is watching Antiques Roadshow as per usual, when suddenly, a giant pizza called Pizzaface (Super Ghostbusters reference lol) appears. Peppino screams in a way only a Peppino would be capable of. Pizzaface owns a thing called the Pizza Tower and on top of it is a Red Beam UFO Attachment stolen from the Galactic Chicken Empire. If Peppino cannot stop him, the laser will destroy his pizzeria! So he teams up with Gustavo, another pizza chef guy, in order to stop Pizzaface or something.
=== Shameplay ===
You play as Peppino, an extremely sexy italian who can run suprisingly fast. In every level, Peppino must locate and systematically destroy every single Pillar John he comes across. Pillar John is a weirdo who escaped from Easter Island because the Easter Bunny wanted to hide plastic eggs in his kidneys. After Pillar John is killed, Peppino must go back to where he came from before Pizzaface kills Peppino by making a ghost invade his butt. This would make Peppino order a ghost pizza, which is heavily disturbing.
Peppino also has some other things to keep track of:
* Toppins - Living pizza toppings, on any other day, Peppino would raid other towers to collect these guys and bake them alive in pizzas. However, this is an odd day, so he now has to keep them alive so that they give him 10 UnDollars each (the ones with Phoenix Wright on them). With this money Peppino can pay off some orange suited Cuphead lookin' guy called Mr. Stick and keep him from shooting Peppino at point blank (he just gets someone else to do it instead).
*Combo Meter - For every single action Peppino does (including sneezing), his combo will increase by one. Once a combo ends the player will get points (or Death Juice in real life if you're playing the shame on March 2nd for some reason). However, the thing you really wanna do is to start the combo in the first room, and then keep that combo up until you leave the level. God is malicious sometimes...
*Secret Eyes - There are three disembodied floating eyeballs in each level. You must find them and bore into them like the filthy parasite you are before The Aquabats find them first and destroy them beyond repair. Doing so will send you to a secret area with lotsa spaghetti to collect and some dudes that Peppino can loot points from. Bro thinks he's Kaptain Skurvy.
*Tower Secret Treasure - These edible things are locked in janitor closets that can only be opened by a literal brick with limbs named Gerome. You must find him doing XTREME JANITOOR STUFFZ DOOD somewhere in the level. He will then follow you and you can open the closet to the treausre because he has a key. Also, trying to exit the level with Gerome will cause a glitch in which Captain Qwark's limp, unconsious body tumbles through the screen and into your room before he regains consciousness and beats you to a bloody pulp. We don't know why, it just does, and it isn't even the only shame with such a glitch.
*Lap 2 - Lap 2 is what happens when you accidentally enter a giant pizza while escaping a level. It sends you back to where Pillar John was. Then you have to do the whole thing again which makes me just .
Handle all those stuffs listed above (and keep your points above the quota) and you could get certain ranks in return. The most desireable is the P Rank, which stands for, "Purple Rank". There are also S, A, B, C, and D ranks, each of which is increasingly more stupid to get than the previous one.
=== Floors ===
Floors are basically the worlds of this shame. There are five floors with four levels each and a boss.
==== Floor 1 - Tower Lobby ====
The floor all Old People live on! This is the floor themed after old and ancient stuff, like Facebook. A bunch of dust is on this floor, so it is dangerous to people with asthma... in real life. Gustavo is getting chased by a big scrunkly rat on this floor. Yadda yadda yadda nostalgia something something lorem ipsum.
* John Gutter - The first level of the shame (there is one tutorial with the Grandma from Cookie Clicker as a pizza but I don't care. To me, this is the first level). It takes place in an underground jungle and city with a bunch of Monkey Creatures, and only so many Coconut Guns. There are a bunch of dead Pillar Johns here, which is funny.
* Pizzascape - Inspired by West Hyrule, this level takes place in what looks like Hyrule Castle but lamer. King Harkinian isn't even there! Instead there are a bunch of religious leaders of some sort of pizza cult and humongus rats of low intellect. Peppino can become a knight though, so that salvages it.
*Ancient Cheese - In this level, Peppino is chased by a platoon of Ancient Geeks who want to kill him for starring in a modern shame and not one on the Magnavox Odyssey. There are also these stupid goblins who throw bombs like how Morshu wishes he could do it. It ends with Peppino fighting Wallace, who has near superhuman powers due to the amount of cheese in this level. It is the hardest part of the shame, and you only win because Zeus kills Wallace for you.
*Bloodsauce Dungeon - A level that takes place in Hell, and let me tell you, Hell isn't fire and brimstone, it's spicy cajun sauce and pizza. Peppino can burn his butt by touching the sauce because the Butt Ghost bit it like how it did to Mario's own. The Facebook logo appears in this level, told you the world is based off of it! There are also flying anchovies in this level for obvious reasons.
===== Boss 1 =====
The boss of this world is Pepperman! He's a big pepper with a weird face and artistic skills. Pepperman will explain why mere mortals cannot comprehend his modern art, and never attacks. If Peppino attacks Pepperman, Peppino will die instantly and graphically. In order to win, the player must insult Pepperman's art with the microphone, which kills him instantly and gives Peppino a key to the next floor. He gets there via a hand-cranked elevator, which means more work for Gerome! Yay!
==== Floor 2 - Western District ====
Yee-haw (or as they say in Super Mario World Chaos CompleXX, "yee-ha")! You're in the United States of UnAmerica now. As such, there are lots of sand grains and cowboys of questionable morality, and even less spaghetti. Somehow Pizzaface put a bunch of sand and a giant lamp on this floor and I don't know how he did that, man! Gustavo is now doing something PETA would hate to hear about to the rat (throwing punches, that's all).
* Oregano Desert - A level that takes place in Texas. In typical Texas fashion, you mug shopkeepers for your personal gain, run face first into cacti without getting hurt, and eat free samples of Kentucky Fried Chicken to give Peppino the power of fire breath akin to Joe Bigman. Thank God the priests can bless it away, or else Hoop's worst fear would ensue afterwardsAcid reflux and vomiting.. Towards the end of the level, alien stuff happens.
* Wasteyard - This is the spooky level with the most horrifying creature known to man: chickens. They are banditos, but they are not coming for fritos. They throw some more bombs and will share them with you regardless on if you are their friend or not. Even better, Peppino can DIE! Pillar John also dies and tries to use the Death Note to get revenge on Peppino.
*Fun Farm - Because last level wasn't spooky enough, this one is about Mort the Chicken. Mort is a nightmarish affront to our known world and he can use his comb to destroy potatoes for some reason. The level also has the VeggieTales cast way past their prime, and an anomalous cube that destroys the entire shame if Mort breaks it. Once Pizza Time begins, Hannibal Lecter suddenly spawns and throws lambs at you, the player, before being shot to death by a cowboy you will meet again later down the road.
*Fast Food Saloon - Cowboy stuff. Peppino can talk to the real Sandy Cheeks in this level and ride weiners around like a madman. Some irresponsible gambling ensues, and you can go racing with an annoying rocking horse to the literal death of the UnUniverse and some Toppin I guess.
===== Boss 2 =====
The boss of this world is The Vigilante, a blob of cheese who thinks he is both Captain 40 and Blondie at the same time. He is the worst boss in the shame because he has infinite health. The reason for this is because Blondie made it this way since he thought it would be funny that the guy who looks like him is stronger than every other character. The elevator to Floor 3 does open after Peppino dies though.
==== Floor 3 - Vacation Resort ====
Simply put, this floor has no theme, I guess you could say travelling is the theme, but I don't know. Gustavo finally made peace with the rat though, so that's a good thing. We will call the rat, "Brick".
* Crust Cove - In this level, Peppino goes to the beach. This automatically makes it one of the top 5 levels solely due to the shirtless scene. This level also has Peppino having to murder leagues of Pineapples because, "Hawaiian pizza bad"This post was made by the Hawaiian Pizza gang.. Also, Kaptain Skurvy appears here. This automatically makes it one of the top 2 levels solely due to the cameo.
* Gnome Forest - Everybody wanna be a superstar, get a lotta money drive in fancy cars. Everybody wanna be a superstar, get a lotta money might not see tomorrow. Gnomes are pretty cool, put them in a forest with more mushrooms than you could find on a Redditor's T-shirt! Gustavo and Brick also become playable and bring the black death onto the forest with the help of fleas. During Pizza Time an evil gnome appears and will summon elves and goblins to merk you. Evil gnomes exist, right? There's probably a Pop'n Music character that fits that archetypeYes there is..
*Deep-Dish 9 - The best level because it is about olives, everybody knows that olives are the best pizza topping. Peppino has to destroy Nibiru before it crashes into his pizza place... in SPACE! The whole time he recieves help from living olives and flies on the faces of spotty nerd rockets, and considering the pirate themes of Crust Cove this is pretty ironic. The Neon Genesis Evangelion version of Fly Me to the Moon plays throughout the whole thing.
*Golf - Peppino gets a bad case of Not Even DOOM Music. His only cure is to kill a bunch of demons who think they're Beast and take on another spotty nerd. Only through the powers of the legendary Primo Burg can he regain his former glory. Also some golf stuff happens I think.
===== Boss 3 =====
The boss of this world is The Noise! He is Peppino's worst enemy, which logically means he has the best boss battle. It's intense, full of goofy ahh antics, and backed up by none other than il vento d'oro. That's right, Giorno's theme! And did I mention Noise's only attack is throwing dishwater soap at Peppino for preheating his oven? Uhhhhh... Damn it, they vexed me!
==== Floor 4 - Slum ====
Yo yo yo! You're in the United States of UnAmerica... again! But now, rather than being in the south like in Western District, you're in the north! Gangstas are everywhere! Gustavo and Brick are doing Fatman villain stuff (poker). Do NOT kill the disgustingly green Cheeseslime on this floor or else you go to Hell before you die.
* The Pig City - PIGS!!! Everytime you kill an enemy Pig from Barnyard hosts viewer mail time. This happens every single time. Gustavo and Brick are also playable, and they continue to spread the plague through the city! Unfortunately, after their stint in der wald, Brick's disease mutated into the Gnome Virus! Shrimps must be sacrificed to save the day. Why shrimps, you may ask? Because shrimps are a byproduct of pigs, everybody knows that! Peppino also enters a serial killer's house made out of flesh, and eats what we assure you is a Bacon Explosion and not a severed limb.
* Peppibot Factory - Everybody hates this level for some reason, oh well. This level sees Peppino going on an adventure to save the environment. He shuts down a factory populated by sausages and robots who look like himself. Then he discovers that he was hired by PETA to do what he did, so he blows himself up. A flying hand also steals a door and then it warps you to The Backrooms.
*Oh Shit! - Peppino is shot by Mario and Luigi in the sewers, and then he comes back as a cheese zombie. And yes, there is a lot of encounters with Poo Face, Croc Head, and even the nefarious Pile of Goo! Suprisingly, this is the level I have the least amount of jokes for.
*Refridgerator-Refriderator-Refried-Alligator-Whatsitcalled-Freezerator - Evil Snowmen patrol the inside of this massive freezer complex. Furthermore, they are all members of the Snowman Mafia because this is the city! Santa Claus then comes in and propagates further Evil Snowmen until Peppino re-channels his Joe Bigman powers for revenge! Suprisingly, the ice is not slippery.
===== Boss 4 =====
The boss of this world is Fake Peppino! He is the cousin of Wega that he desperately hoped you never discovered. Fake Peppino just does frog stuff and throws his head around. If Peppino touches him, the floor collapses and Fake Peppino takes some cues from William Birkin (god I hate the way you spell his name) and chases Peppino down the hall until he escapes, which is considered "beating" him. Then the Elmo Gang shoot Fake Peppino for, "vexing them". Dang, them too? To avoid the ambush and keep your P-Rank, there's a lap 2 portal in the hall which takes you back to the start of the hall (remember that the floor broke) and you run left and find the level entrance door.
==== Final Floor - Staff Only ====
The very last floor. This floor is themed after all that is evil, very evil and dead. Gustavo and Brick be so scared they shaking in their boots, smh my head. I think this floor is just themed around that thing Mario said after Hyrule Castle collapsedJoker, forgive for explaining this... "spoooooky...". You can find a hobo here, and even Snick! Cherish Snick's cameo here, as it's his last (and only) appearance before he succumbs to his puppet overlords. So, did ya bring a light?
* Pizzascare - Hyrule Castle's back, and this time King Harkinian has shown up for the party! King Harkinian will non-stop shoot at Peppino with his Dinner Blaster, but the burgers are haunted so Peppino will be possessed if he eats the fattening burgers (what is it with this shame and Joel Vargskelethor parallels?). Peppino can fend for himself by getting blessed by the priests, who now don't know if they want to cosplay as either The Exorcist or a pilgrim. Peppino also grinds off ramps, and dresses up as Marisa Kirisame because it is a Halloween party. DA ZE~!!!
*Don't Make a Sound - DONKEY KONG REFERENCE!?!?!?!?!/!? Aside from that, this level sees Peppino working the night shift in Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Except instead of Freddy Fazbear, it's a Mushroom made out of cardboard tubes. It teamed up with a biomass of cheese, a tomato who wishes to be a real boy, a sausage who wishes he were Ashy Slashy, and a pineapple who probably died on the toilet in order to stuff Peppino in an animatronic suit until he grabs the shotgun and gets even. This wasn't as long as I wanted it to be. Uhhh... have you ever heard of Alt 2.0? For some reason people freak the heck out when they see her, I ship her with the animatronics in this level (and Peppino as well because I like to believe she is especially compatible with Italians).
*WAR - Shotgun returns! This level takes Peppino back to the Videogame War, right when his home country of the Mushroom Kingdom was about to drop the BOOM! onto Raccoon City. Halfway through the level he enters an Umbrella lab, where the Nemesis and Mr. X both come in to give Peppino the abject worst time.
===== The Final Boss =====
Peppino finally caught up to Pizzaface! Peppino walks in on Pizzaface taking a shower on the roof of the tower, so it's kinda awkward. Pizzaface sneezes all over the arena and gets Peppino sick. This sucks, so Peppino needs to throw bottles of Fluticasone Propionate Nasal Spray at Pizzaface's superior shroom schnoz to end the battle. However, Pizzaface was actually a robot the whole time! And his pilot was actually the ultimate evil of the fictional fictional UnUniverse this shame takes place in - the truly awful Burgermeister Meisterburger!!! Pizzaface asplodes, and Burgermeister begins ALTERING THE FILES in an attempt to make the shame permanently unplayable under the belief that shames are just digital toys. Thankfully, he only has one hit point, and then he dies...
SIKE!!! Burgermeister comes back to life and summons the previous four bosses for another battle! Peppino gets all wussy and begins soyjaking to levels beyond mortal comprehension. Despite Peppino crying about it, however, he is incapable of winning this 1 on 5 battle. This is primarily due to the fact that The Vigilante is still invincible. Big rip, you die again. Now cry about it like Peppino.
===== But There's One More Level! =====
* The Crumbling Tower of Pizza - The true final level! Peppino respawns in the tower, and Burgermeister and his allies are partying hard on top of the tower. Peppino finds the original Pillar John, and gets an idea. "This will be the ultimate prank, and I will get the last laugh!", Peppino thinks to himself. He kills Pillar John! The tower begins collapsing, and Peppino leaves everyone to die, even Gustavo and Brick, Gerome, and Mr. Stick! Peppino has to run like hell in order to escape the collapsing tower. But it isn't enough, he has to run faster, and God does he run faster. He picks up Herculean speeds, the types of speeds that would make Zoombah and Sanic cry, the speeds not even The Flesh has achieved! PEPPINO CAN FINALLY RUN LIKE PEPPINO!!! This is the scene that makes it all worth it! It's like watching a movie for Godzilla but he only shows up in the final 15 minutes! It's this speed that lets Peppino make it out of the tower.
=== Ending ===
The shame ends with Peppino escaping the tower as every other character dies. Peppino doesn't even bat an eye so he leaves. If you got all the Tower Secret Treasures an extra scene will play. In this scene Pillar John comes back to life as a Pillar Man, and then he gets Peppino arrested for his criminal activitiesIdk I never watched Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.. Peppino is executed, and since the green Cheeseslime from the fourth floor also died in the collapse of the tower, he goes to Hell.
=== Extra Levels ===
Once you've beaten the shame, there are 2 secret levels you have to beat to become the Pizza Tower. They are necessary for getting 1000‰ completion. 
*Tricky Treat - Fake Peppino goes tricker treating on a CS server and a TFC server and micspams "ARE YOU GUYS GOING TRICKER TREATING"? to which he gets Peppino's ass chased by a creepy stalker Pizzaface-looking dude whilst out in a shrimp-infected chinatown. You beat this level by making 22 pumpkins into pie and feeding it to Your EveryDay Crab!
*Secrets of the UnWorld - In this level, Peppino has to overcome his fear of everyone being a government a- No, it's just a rehash of all the shame's other secret levels. Nothing special here.
==Reception==
A lot of people love this shame because Italians are awesome. Freddy Fazbear is a real big fan for unknown reasons, while Wario and Sonic hate this shame for reasons even more obscure.
==References==
Category:Good shames