Five Characters in Search of an Author/Quotes

===Homer Simpson===
====Through the level====
*Who is the creator? I like to think it's the guy who created us.
*Holy macaroni! This guy's loaded!
*This guy thinks he's better than me.
*I can be this rich, I'd just choose not to be.
*(listening to the doorbell) I have sudden urge to sit on a couch.
*(listening to the doorbell) What the? I suddenly wanna send money to Danny Elfman.
*Aw, even his lawn's nicer than mine. Maybe I should try hydro-seeding.
*You know who would love living here?... Poor people...
*This mansion looks bigger than the inside of Snoopy's doghouse.
*(screams) Our creator looks like a grad student!
*(gasp) That weird thing I saw once!
====Fighting enemies - Blue-haired Lawyers====
*Dude, quit sharpening your pencils!
*The movie Legal Eagles was terrible!
*You're not the first lawyer I've beaten.
*It looks like you just had... an accidente.
*If I had the time, I'd drink your blood.
*Lawyer is Latin for "nerd"!
====Fighting enemies - Matt Groening====
*How dare you name me after your father!
*In your face, creator!
*In Russia, I created you!
*In another life, we could've been friends.
*Stop drawing me stupid!
*Stop signing your name on my **s!
===Bart Simpson===
====Through the level====
*Let me breathe into the well... (sniffs) ...ah... exquisite...
*Check out this creepy artwork... (shudders)
*Whoa! This creator's like Richie Rich, except straight.
*This place is huge! Check it out... BOOGER!
*(referring to the theme tune doorbell) That song... it's been haunting me for years!
*I'm Bart Simpson, but who the **** is my creator?
*This place is amazing, I don't know what to break first!
====Fighting enemies - Blue-haired Lawyers====
*You're just Milhouse in a suit...
*I bet you were nerds in grade school.
*Your ties are ugly.
*Go chase an ambulance!
*You just failed the Bart Exam!
*Go sharpen a pencil!
*Battling lawyers is every scumwads fantasy.
====Fighting enemies - Zoidberg====
*You're my least favorite Billy West character.
*Nobody gets your jokes.
*You're too gross, even for me!
*Don't you dare get ink on me!
*Take that, lobster face!
====Fighting enemies - Bender====
*You were too weird for network TV!
*Ahhhh! It's Bender, from Futurama!
*You're just a mechanical Homer!
*Go cry to Leela!
*Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
====Fighting enemies - Matt Groening====
*You sucked at Comic-Con!
*Your animation style is crude, dude!
*Go write "Life in **"!
===Blue-haired Lawyers===
*Lawyers rule! Non-lawyers drool!
*Eat off, freaks!
*I'll turn you into a habeous corpus!
*Lawyers attack!
*I'll sue everybody.....
*This is the case of awesome lawyers versus stupid jerks!
*I'm taking you to court.
*Ow, my lawyer head.
*Suck pencil!
*I call for a RECESS!
*
===Matt Groening===
====Watching Homer and Bart====
*I wish I created Family Guy!
*Look, I've teleported, just like in Star Trek!
*Hey jack**ses, eat MY shorts!
*I'm gonna kill you... and put your images on sugary breakfast cereals!
*Well if it isn't Fat Man and Little Boy... or should I say Fat Ugly Man and Stupid Little Boy!
*When you guys are dead, I'm gonna marry Marge!
*I've brought you into this world so I can take you out!
*You made me rich, now I'll make you dead!
*Ah, like many successful artists I resent my own creations!
*Thanks for the mansion, losers!
====Attacked====
*Agh! Curtain burn! Curtain burn!
*Why did I agree to be in this stupid videogame?!
*You don't scare me, I'm friends with Linda Berry.
*Ugh! My evil plan's being foiled by a curtain! Yet again!
*Agh! I broke my iPod!
===Bender===
====Cutscene (non-DS only)====
*Aw, snap!
====Attacking Homer and Bart====
*Asimov's first law of robotics: Robots rule!
*Bender likes to bend human flesh.
***** your high ratings!
*Exterminate! Exterminate!
*Hey fleshies, you suck!
*I'm coming back strong on DVD, baby!
*I'm gonna bend the **** out of you!
*I'm gonna go I, Robot on your **ses!
*I'm gonna wear your skin like a Mardi Gras costume!
*I know it's a cliche but - crush, kill, destroy!
*I was a hit on the Cartoon Network.
*Kill all humans, especially you!
*Metal beats meat!
*The future's gonna kick your **s!
*You stupid sacks of meat!
====Attacked (non-DS only)====
*Anyone have any spare parts?
*Gah, I'm bleeding oil interally!
*I fell on my hard disk!
*I messed myself...
*I need a sexy robot nurse!
*I think I broke my floppy drive!
*I scratched my new paint job!
*Ow, my shiny metal **s!
*Robot down! Robot down!
*The Bender has become the bent!
===Zoidberg===
*After you die, latkes for everyone!
*Bow before Zoidberg!
*Even for non-lobsters, you're ugly!
*I'm a doctor of human killing...and podiatry!
*If you're looking for trouble, you found it!
*I slap my thorax in condempt!
*I will digest you in my stomach for a thousand years!
*I will lay my eggs in your brains!
*I will use your blood as leave-in conditioner!
*My claws will pinch your private areas!
*Oy, I'm gonna give you such a pinch on the tushy!
*The crustacean will crush you - get it?
*The lobster will eat a human roll. (laughs menacingly)
*When you're dead, I get your money!
*Zoidberg will bring eternal sleep!
Category:Quotes
Category:The Simpsons Game