(S1) Chapter 7: The Power of the Force

Things didn’t go as planned. Allow me to explain the crazy shit that happened the night before what was supposed to be Billy Mays’s training with Master Yoda…in bullet proof format!
Just kidding, that’s lazy. I’ll be genuine about it. HAM sent an assassin to try and eliminate Will and thereby Papaya182 in their sleep. Papaya182, being the lightest sleeper ever though, noticed this assassin, who frankly wasn’t that good. HAM honestly just picked this guy because he was cheap. At that, the assassin was sent back to HAM with all of his bones broken. The plan wasn’t some big, grandiose thing that could be made into half of a chapter. Honestly, it was quite pathetic. However, it tipped off Yoda on just how ambitious HAM was to fuck these guys over. At that, Yoda unwillingly relayed the true second option to Will and Papaya: The Temple of Gad.
The Temple of Gad was something Will remembered hearing about from Adam. It was a temple that was lost to time and lost to everyone, even chads…or so it seemed. It was so lost to all that it was considered an old legend. It was a temple that hosted the power of the first chad to exist: Gad. The journey to said temple was long and perilous, with the temple itself having even more perilous trials within it. At the end was the altar of Gad, where one could connect with Gad and be granted their deepest desire so long as it wasn’t morally inept. 
Yoda confirmed that night that was seemed to be an old legend was actually a real place. Yoda was so old that he had spoken to Gad before he was Gad. Yoda even helped the construction of this temple, coming up with this mysterious third and final trial he insisted upon keeping a secret. Yoda relayed this information to Will not only because he knew HAM was ambitious and that the crew’s intentions were good, but because he also became aware that the dreaded Azathoth was with HAM. Since he was in the equation, Yoda figured that there was no other option. And at that, I have cancelled a boring training montage. Cry about it, I guess.
Harrus, Adam, and River were staying in a nearby hotel, leaving the two errors with Yoda because frankly they trusted Yoda enough to get his point across in a day or two to Will. I mean hey, this is THE Yoda. If anyone could get through that thick skull, it would have been him. They were also staying there mainly because they weren’t sure what to do at that moment; they weren’t sure what their mission was. This turn of events caused by a botched assassination would end up giving way to one of the crew’s most important missions to date: to get to the Temple of Gad and save creation from the likes of Azathoth.
And so we cut to the main events of this chapter. That’s right, the previous paragraphs were just a lazy exposition dump I added later because I forgot to actively establish any of this shit. Anyways, the gang was blasting off to multidimensional 7-11 again, this time with Yoda. Harrus and Adam Sandler listened to Yoda’s wisdom (they already got the talk about the Temple of Gad, but frankly they were just more interested in the force at that moment) while Errrrrr404 and Papaya 182 basked in their own anger for each other. Finally, River parked dababy car at the multidimensional 7-11 and got out. “Well guys, we’re here. I’m gonna arrange a big, fancy apartment room for us while we’re here so we can have a better base of operation. Y’all can do what y’all want while I do that.” The gang got out.
Yoda went to a table and had lunch with OP sans and Adam, teaching them how to “become masters of the force.” Errrrr404 went to the lounge and sulked while Papaya182 just trained his aegislash. Yeah, he has Pokémon. Why? I cause I said so! “Now young padiwan, told you I have what the force truly is, and sensed it within you two I have. Channel the power of the force.” Harrus and Adam obliged. On the forefront, Adam seemed to be the only successful one at channeling the force, bringing a water bottle to himself. Sure, this was just telekinesis, but it was cooler because this was the force. “Woah, master Yoda, is this what the force can do?”
Yoda nodded and said “Yes Padawan, the power of the force you have channeled. Among many other things with you can do though, so stronger you must get. Quickly you have learned though.” Harrus looked down, a little upset that he couldn’t do what Adam could do. “Sorry Master Yoda, I don’t think I got it in me.” 
Yoda smiled and said “Harrus, the force I sense more in you than in Adam. Keep getting stronger you must, for in amazing ways the force will appear to you .” OP nodded.
River rounded up the crew and they all took off to the apartment. Adam was training his machamp on the way there. Yeah, he has a Pokémon too, I couldn’t resist. Harrus was lifting hella heavy weights in Dababy car to train himself for the force I guess. How heavy? This man was lifting the entirety of your mom. Yoda was coaching OP. “One arm now, young padawan. Close to your goal you are.” OP struggled a bit but couldn’t quite lift such weight with one arm. You’re mom was just too heavy.
Yoda nodded and said “Very well. Ready you will soon be, padawan.” Adam was testing the limits of his force on his now empty water bottle when suddenly, a shadow sans with purple smoke pouring out of his cracked head appeared in the middle of the road. Dababy car swerved to the side and sped up. “SHIT, IT’S HAM!” HAM cackled. “Huhuhu, ahm beega’ and betta’ thahn eva mates!” His extended his arm and grabbed dababy car. He shook it for some reason instead of like crushing it or something. OP!Sans grabbed the weights and tossed them at HAM. HAM was knocked back a bit cause your mom is very heavy.
Errrrr404, who was previously just napping, reverted into his Buzzfly404 form out of sheer shock and flew towards HAM. HAM just laughed and flicked Errrr404 away like… well… a fly. While this was happening, OP was lifting and adapting to the weight of your mother. He was DETERMINED to be able to channel the force. Errrrr404 and HAM were firing lasers at each other. Oooh, what a creative and original fight. Harrus continued lifting the weights as Adam joined the fight, but was now singing along Face-Off, which was playing in his earbuds. He was gaining a yellow, electrical aura as he was adapting to your mother’s weight. Adam slammed his fist into HAM’s head, which disoriented him. The sheer force of this punch made HAM fall over.
HAM got up and kicked Adam into an asteroid. HAM wasn’t wasting anytime though and just slammed another asteroid into Adam, making an…asteroid sandwich? Errrr404 was just spamming blasters at HAM. HAM took the hits then hurled a buncha puffs at Will. Errrrr404 dodged the puffs then strung up a moon and hurled it into HAM. HAM was launched farther away into the cosmos. Meanwhile, HAM’s yelling Face-off at this point, with Yoda and River hyping him up. 
Now back to the battle. Papaya182 lunged at HAM with a punch he had been charging since the beginning of the fight. But HAM grabbed Papaya’s fist and did an epicc villain laugh. “Haw haw haw, I saw tha’ wun bruv. Ya waystid yar entya’ battle fo’ tha wun attack? Bit cringe, innit bruv?” He grabbed papaya and slammed him into Willy Wonka who was charging right at HAM. HAM wrapped them both up with his whip and lasered the fuck out of them. Adam went in for a gut kick, but HAM was quicker and grabbed him by the leg and hurtled him at Errrr404 and Papaya. He looked over the recovering three and grinned.
Suddenly, a yellow lightning bolt appeared from the heavens and struck HAM. When HAM looked over, he saw Harrus with a yellow aura levitating before him, with River and Yoda not too far behind. Yoda smiled and said “Young padawan, the force you may not have channeled, but an unseen power you have.” Shit I guess meditation and training with Yoda really Can bring out the best of us quickly. Yoda took out a metallic handle…wait…OH THAT’S A LIGHTSABER!! OP’s face lit up with happiness.
“No way, you’re giving me a lightsaber!?” Yoda nodded. “Yes, now help your friends you must.” OP raised his lightsaber into the air and yelled “I HAVE THE POWERRRRR!!!” Suddenly, a lightning bolt radiating with color struck him and his lightsaber, causing the blade to be an odd mix of whatever energy a lightsaber is made of and pure lightning.
Harrus sans darted over to HAM and began rapidly slicing him with his lightsaber. HAM kicked He-Sans back only for him to use telekinesis to sandwich HAM between two hella big moons. Hehe. He made a HAM sandwich. Funny, right? Yeesh, tough crowd. 
When HAM exploded out from the moons, he was met with OP, who had a thunderous punch ready for HAM. The others decided to join in with their combo attack, with Errrrr404 firing a god ray at HAM, Papaya bringing his mighty ban hammer down upon HAM, and Adam Sandler barraging HAM with chadly punches. Harrus being the main protagonist of this episode decided to finish off this combo attack with a godly lightning strike, sending HAM rocketing away like team rocket….again.
The gang all reverted back to their original forms and high-fived. Each other. “Good effort friends!” Harrus said. They all looked at OP with surprise. “What….was that form?”
“A mere fraction of the true power I sensed within him that was .” Yoda walked out of dababy car. “A different kind of power Harrus has. Although not the force, a formidable power it is. Throughout this journey, learn more about this power you all may perhaps.” This piqued the interest of everyone, ESPECIALLY Harrus. He had no idea he had this unseen power within him. 
Well, after all that, Yoda returned to his home, bidding them a farewell and good luck. Afterwards, the gang just headed to the apartment River rented. Wait, I see the words “meanwhile,” down there, would could this be about?
||| Meanwhile, in Azathoath HQ |||
“You moron..YOU DIDN’T USE ONE OF YOUR FORMS?! YOUR WIKI PAGE SAYS YOU CAN LITERALLY TURN INTO A FUCKING WORM MONSTER AT WILL DAMMIT!!!” HAM rubbed his head. 
“Bu’ baws, ah can’ yews it,” Azathoath squinted at HAM. 
“Tf do you mean ‘I can’t’?!” HAM shrugged and said, “Wotch.” He tried going turning into the worm thing but he couldn’t. 
“Ohhhhhhh I see the issue. Your too serious and smart to be able to use this form, which honestly sucks to be honest because you were already pretty stupid and this means. I have time make you even more stupid just to use this form. But whatever, using my mind Magic, I’ll simply take all the lunacy of Jerma and transfer it to you.”
HAM tilted his head. “Woi’s it wurk loike tha’?” 
“I don’t know, I don’t write this stupid fucking story.” Azathoth summoned Jerma and did his thing. An orb came from the head of Jerma and was given to HAM. Jerma’s expression suddenly changed. Instead of looking creepy, he looked genuinely confused. At the same time though, he felt oddly more competent and smart since another orb came from HAM’s head and went into Jerma’s, giving him a minor intelligence boost. 
“Aw yeah, dat felt guuud.” HAM said. He gave the form change another try, this time working. He became a large black worm-like spirit with a flat face. On the face were two trippy eyes and decayed teeth. Despite being in the shape of a worm, he had two wispy arms. “
”Ah thin ahma call thiz mah….H.E.N.T.A.I. Form.” HAM said. Azathoth furrowed his many burrows and did not allow this.
“Alright look, it’s one thing to be stupid, but it’s another to call your form change that. No, absolutely not! Nada!” HAM let out a little whine and thought of another name.
”Alroight, wudabout mah…W.U.R.M. form?” He asked. Azathoth approved of this name.
“Alright yeah, that’s much better. This chapter’s ending though, so let’s get our villain laugh out of the way.” Azathoth and HAM began to laugh their wicked laugh with each other, which was now a trend thanks to Azathoth. Jerma looked at the two, confused and annoyed by all of this.
“Wait, am I mandated to do this too?” Jerma asked.
”Yes, you are. Now shut up and start laughing.” Azathoth replied. Azathoth continued his maniacal laugh with HAM as Jerma put on the fakest and most annoyed laugh ever.
Category:Season 1
Category:Canon
Category:Episodes
Category:Written by Cliche
Category:Story