Timeline

History
The 3 Emperors ~ 250 years ago
* Around 250 years ago there was a battle for power between 3 factions for the throne of The Empire. One of these factions was lead by Count Damascus, who was unsuccessful and killed.
Journey to Puerto Arinosa
Present Day
*12 week journey with Captain Goldman aboard the SS Nicole.
*A card game involving a light-fingered Triton, a burly Loxodon, and a sleepy Aasimar gets violent. The Triton contemplated blowing a hole in the side of the ship to resolve the issue.
*The half-Orc deckhand is tasked with resolving numerous issues aboard the ship.
Discovery of the Hunter
*The SS Nicole ran into trouble and Orenthal is asked to investigate. After all, the well-being of the SS Nicole is his primary concern.
*The ship's rudder had become entangled by a Silver Net, housing the body of an Empire Hunter.
*Upon sharing this information the group were attacked by an Elf assassin. The Captain's quarters and the deck were badly damaged, mostly due to an 8ft Loxodon swinging through walls by his trunk.
The Cult of the All Seeing Eye
* An evil cult was discovered to be on board and managed to complete a ritual that resurrected Count Damascus. He overpowered the group before vanishing, Orenthal believes he used powerful arcane magic to teleport away. The Triton attempted to blow a hole in the side of the ship to resolve the issue.
*Only Gizmo has any recollection of the encounter.
 February - Arrived in Puerto Arinosa
 
=== Breaking the seal... ===
*Arrived in Puerto Arinosa on the 4th of February in the 17th Year of Emperor Gregorio the Gregarious.
*After proving their capabilities on the SS Nicole, the 3 Kings were introduced to the coastal settlements mayor Enzo Perez by Captain Goldman and given a number of small tasks. This evolved into them being asked to handle a number of key issues to help defend and expand the settlement.
Traveled to Captain Thunnot's Lumber Mill
*Lumber shipments, critical to the growth of the settlement, were being destroyed on the jungle tracks. Luckily the drivers always managed to survive.
*The 3 Kings reached and explored the Lumber Mill, stumbling upon a hidden cave of gems housing a strange, circular, pool of water.
*It housed a Water Monster that was swiftly defeated, but only after almost drowning Orenthal. Questions still exist about how much brain damage he suffered.
*Upon the return to the settlement with the shipment, the group were attacked by 3 Arachnids that scuttled within smoke that shrouded the jungle tracks. 2 were slain, but 1 was able escape - it also managed to finish the job the Cult of the All Seeing Eye started and end the life of a kebabed KingKoonzemi.
* The mercurial wizard Holdron, makes himself known to the Kings and explains a magical seal that was created to ward off the 'evil things' has been broken by Orenthal's swim. The seal was initially created by Holdron and another Loxodon, Agrafax.
Restoring Agrafax's seal
*Good news for the good guys, bad news if you've been turned to stone.
*Fought a huge mechanical bull that was gatekeeper to the tomb.
*There is obviously some links between this place and Loxodons as the 'security system' referred to Bunkhemoth as 'Ambassador' and Orenthal as 'Slave' - both in the Ancient language
*Bunkhemoth was able to communicate with this system and ultimately restore the seal before returning to the New World
 March - The Good Guys
===Restoring the water supply and meeting Lucia===
*The town's water supply has begun to run yellow, infected by sulfur
*They are introduced to Lucia who has asked for help in solving the issue
*The issue was tracked down via underground caves. The diary (and remains) of Damien Piliago were found, and so were some shady fucking monsters when they ventured too deep - some quick swimming ensued.
*The water source was found and fixed, and huge structures were scaled to reach a sinister 'building'.
Discover of the Shawoogan lair and experiments
*Found a Golden Dragon that was being experiemented on and his life force drawn, was killed by Jdango to end it's suffering
* Battled with a group of Fish Elves who managed to escape through a portal
*Rescued Arakus Vaan who's healing factor managed to save her from the experiments
*Attacked by a Leonin with red eyes that has been taken over by a Revenant and reanimated, extremely strong
Hunting the 8 escaped prisoners
*After ending the experiments which caused the facility to shut down - 8 different creatures were freed and escaped
*The first of which is tracked down after attacking Moonkays, a psychic powered beast known as a Otyugh
*The second, a Shoosuva, is lured into a trap by the Kings and vanquished. However, they are later informed by Lucia that this will create a group of Gnolls because the spikes it shed were not destroyed.
Discovery of Lorella's tomb
*While searching for a place to camp for the night, found an oddly symmetrical raised area of ground
*After being attacked in the night by shadows, discovered Lorella's tomb underneath as well as her sword
*A ballsy Moonkay strode forward to challenge the Kings. His head was swiftly parted from his shoulders, but Bunkhemoth is warned that you should either kill none of them or all of them!
 April - Down to the River BedA potential plot emerges?
*Orenthal is approached by a crew-member of the SS Nicole who believes Gizmo may be part of a plot by the All Seeing Eye
*Holdron and Lucia give their opinion of who is above suspicion in the camp, including Captain Thunnot, Mayor Enzo and Captain Birdseye
*Gizmo finishes 'vetting' the travellers that arrived and finds nothing untoward. He is convinced that the cultists have managed to hide themselves though.
*An unknown monster attacks the settlement. Its shape is seen, bounding away on 4 legs with a victim in tow, then shifting into a winged creature instantaneously. Gizmo fears it is a vampire...
Second attack by the Revenant
*Returning to Lorella's tomb with Holdron and Lucia they find it has disappeared
*They then return to where the Shoosuva was killed in order to hunt the created 24 or so Gnolls but are attacked by a Gnoll that has already died and been reanimated by the Revenant that is stalking Bunkhemoth after it was first killed controlling the Leonin
*In the attack Lucia used a high level spell called Burning Hands which even she didn't know she could do
*Holdron muses that the Revenant may take more bodies for up to a year so perhaps it could be captured to stop it
The Town Meeting
*Beforehand they talk with Lucia, Constantine Bestrapolis and train with Captain Thunnot
*Includes: Enzo, Birdseye, Thunnot and his Sargeant, Trev, Lucia, Holdron, and Gizmo
*Thunnot mentions they have found a dried up River Bed by the mill, which had water in it within just a few years
*Trev the Unendowed is still awaiting support to set-up the Quarry, 2 days travel from the town
*After MUCH deliberation they decide to help supply the Quarry then move to the Lumber Mill to seek out the water source of the river
Travelling to the dry River Bed
*They meet Magnus, the man who attacked them on the boat who is understandably wary
*Heading from the Mill to the River Bed they come across a petrified animal and find a Basilisk which doesn't last long
*However, a second Basilisk with its children are then put to the sword by Bunkhemoth (and Lucia's fire attack)
*Investigating the caves they find multiple small passageways, one of which contained a petrified(?) Empire soldier from many years prior, and are then attacked by small elf/goblin like creatures
*In the caverns they are swarmed by and attacked by dozens of these goblins. In the fight Jdango ends up hiding within the lair as the dumb fish uses half his spell slots to kill everyone, destroy the cave and trap Jdango hours away from the team - what a guy
The River Bed
*Upon arriving to the dry River Bed the find a huge Loxodon statue, with just the head showing at the bottom of a shallow lake.
*The statue was then taken over by an Eidolon and then proceeds to climb out of the ground, revealing itself to be over 80 feet high and attacks the party, ignoring Bunkhemoth's attempt to communicate as a Loxodon
*A vicious battle (with half the party dying) finishes with another Lucia killsteal 
*A huge bowl was unearthed, literally because Jdango was bored and there were some rocks around. Upon resting and communicating with Captain Thunnot they ventured further and ultimately found an Empire that had mysteriously been blown/transported quite far in land. It seemed to be at least 50 years old
The shipwrecked Pasada
*The ship, called the Pasada, was completely taken over by plants but also zombies, with a combination of plant monsters and zombie Moonkays attacking our beloved trio
*There were 8 or so Empire with 5 being soldiers, many Moonkay and a Panther that were all reanimated by this demon plant thing. The other 3 were sailors.
*In the hold we found 24 dead crew members who seem to have been barricaded in without food - perhaps maliciously
The Loxodon Temple and Ordan
*The first room had a statue of a Loxodon holding a bowl, upon investigating we activated another globe which caused water to start flowing
*As the water flowed, water elementals attacked - once they were killed, Orenthal performed a ceremony in front of the statue and a water elemental emerged and connected with the fish
*Outside they found the water had begun to fill the basin but was definitely populated by thousands of water elementals
*Further down the hill they found a huge pyramid which turned out to be a Loxodon temple, inside this was a huge room with carvings and murals of Loxodons and Gods, including Ordan
*Down a long slope there was a staircase with ornate Loxodon carvings in the steps, to a huge gilded pyramid
*The group were attacked by a magical monster. Upon dying, it's mental images of the above dispersed showing just a sarcophagus below
*The sarcophagus was guarded by magic that was dispelled by Lorella's Sword and Bunkhemoth was spoken to by Ordan, who explained the history of the Loxodon and the Shawoogan and took Bunkhemoth as well as Jdango into his worship
*Ordan asked them to take on the mantle - "The people of the sea have awoken those who slumber, The Empire is barely a touch on them"
*Inside they found Ordan's Holy Armour (formerly worn by Lorella), which was bestowed upon Bunkhemoth. The death of Agrafax was also confirmed. May - The Sulphur Cloud The Gang Investigates A Sulphur Cloud
*The river now returned a huge sulphur fog enveloped the area and the port, the water has returned but unsure where this is coming from. Holdron has gone to investigate.
*Upon venturing to the Obelisk they were attacked by several red and blue Slaad monsters that got critted to fuck
*At the Obelisk, still flooded by water, they finally found Holdron who was with a black, jewish Dwarf who was unable to speak Common
*The Dwarf turned out to be Pan'dahr Baer, part of a collection of Dwarven Tribes that live under the ground in the new world, rarely venturing to the surface. Fortunately Bunkhemoth was able to communicate by speaking Dwarven with the traveller.
*The Dwarven Tribes had gathered recently to discuss their underground water source mysteriously stopping, with Pan'dahr being asked to investigate above ground
*A druid, Pan'dahr, had seen the Slaad and was able to discover that Orenthal had been impregnated, impressive for a virgin, and was able to remove the parasite before it killed him - Orenthal showed little to no thanks for having his life saved
*Holdron suggested they moved back into the Shawoogan lair to investigate further
*In the underground Experiment Chambers the group initially found spiderwebs - with Pan'dahr recoginising some sort of break in reality to a place called The Veil, a place of evil that all Dwarves hear of but many believe to just be stories or myth
*From The Veil swarms of small, giant, and enormous spiders flooded through and attacked the party
*A battle commenced pitting fish, bear, elephant and negro against these arachnid motherfuckers. Someone may have been knocked unconscious (twice) but not sure who
*Orenthal set a Glyph of Warding as the group licked their wounds and short rested the fuck up
*Group Hug
=== The kidnapping Cult===
* Before returning to the Shawoogan lair, Panda shares some more information. Apparently the Dwarves worship the Goddess of Water (Ma'im) - who is locked in conflict with the God of Death (Guyota), who resides on the other side of The Veil
* Every few years a mighty warrior is chosen to pilgrimage through The Veil to combat the evil forces, the most recent warrior being Panda's brother (Grizz'lee Baer) who has not been seen since venturing forth three years ago
* Agreeing to help save him (and sort out the water issue...), the heroes begin to explore the lair but are quickly found by an injured halfling from the town - Hurin Deephands or some shit
*Hurin was with 11 others looking for loot in the lair, but upon arrival, 8 of the team turned on the remaining 4, announcing themselves as the Cult of the All Seeing Eye
*Hurin escapes, leaving his comrades to be sacrificed, real nice guy
* Throughout the lair they encounter and narrowly avoid many traps. Very Sus
*The team begin waylaying the cultists, body parts flying everywhere until Hurin surprises them again by naively attacking Bunkhemoth. Some say Hurin was subjugated, others maintain that Bunkhemoth is just a 'bit of an annoying cunt' and deserved it.
*Jdango takes a quick nap with Orenthal providing the lullaby
*Hurin's turns once again, this time hitting the cult leader right after everyone else dies
*Panda brokededed his toy
*The team save one townsperson plus a cultist to interrogate
*Should've Sparta'd the halfling like we planned to
*After the melee has finished, they discover the lead Cultist has dropped an ominous, evil dagger, icy cold to the touch, which of course Orenthal picks up
*On leaving, Holdron is found attempting to close a portal to The Veil - uses ice to hold it back and disintegrates one
*The Demon that was sending messages to everyone is unleashed by Orenthal's dagger, escapes from a huge metal door armed with a flaming sword and a lightning before killing one of the Aboleths as the Kings make their retreat
*During a MUCH DESERVED long rest, Jdango is awoken by a voice and is propositioned by Count Damascus who seems to be beholden to the cultists but quite against them
*The fish talks to the smaller blue fish and Captain Birdseye. That motherfucker has more secrets than R Kelly
*Enzo returns to the camp and informs them of a group of Moonkays being slain nearby
*The group searches for and finds the Moonkays and is attacked, initially by 2 but then a much larger group
===Pan'dahr's Map & The Loxodon Fortress===
* A monsoon buckets down and (a suddenly much more helpful) Pan'dahr offers to stay and defend the camp but also offers locations of several long lost Loxodon Temples
*The Kings venture forth, through this torrential rain, and are attacked by a group of some sort of fire elemental things encapsulated in rock - that get rocked
*Venturing further through the forest they come across what seems to be a Loxodon Fortress - with a sunken building cut into the rock, and a road through a made valley to enter it
*The steps to the front door were booby trapped, with ya boy walking right into one
*The front door itself was locked and unmarked, but a link between Lorella's Sword showed a hidden engraving, which when pushed slid the door open
*Inside there was left, right, and central pathways. Left and right were kill rooms to defend, with dead Loxodon inside.
*Upon proceeding forward they find a hidden door upstairs where even more Loxodon bodies are found, each replete with similar armour to Ordan's Holy Amour but of course not as dope
*The bodies had battle injuries but the armour seems to have somehow kept its condition
*A closed off store room full of not food, and another room with weapons and shit - some vision slit window to smoke dem mofos outside
*In the main room there is a huge stone slab - embossed edging with Loxodon symbology AND SOME ANCIENT - upon touching it it started projecting a 3D topographical image of the basin with a blips that seem to denote enemies
*After experimenting they they realise Bunk is green, Orenthal and Jdango are orange and sometimes flicker green but Lucia is red - with the Ancient word for "draconic" displayed near her
*Orenthal started fucking about with the LoxBook Pro, course he did.
*1 orange blip suddenly became a load of orange blips - Quaggoths were bounding for the Kings' location. And we all know they're the worst type of goths.
*Funnelling them into a secret kill tunnel was the Squad Leader's approach, and close to 20 of them were swiftly dispatched. Everyone's favourite slave (no, not the fish) was critting for fun.
*The beasts fled and disappeared from the LoxBook as quickly as they'd appeared.
*Naptime...a loooooong one.
*After resting they explore the rest of the Fortress, finding a nice +3 Axe for Ya Boy Slave
*Orenthal gets down with dem shrooms and can see the magic connecting to the LoxBookPro, and for a second another red dot shows coming from below
*Downstairs, into the main staircase they begun to hear sounds of a huge battle, but Orenthal can see a huge amount of magic around the doorway
*Through the door there is another huge domed room similar to the Shawoogan Lair, and inside a massive battle between Loxodon and Dragon rages on
*There are 12 armoured Loxodon, around 30 or so Warforged fighiting a huge Black Dragon and 70 or so of it's smaller Draconic minions
*Jdango is able to fire an arrow through the doorway and make a hit, but the Loxodon nearby can't seem to hear or see the party?
*Unable to hold back any more, Bunk runs through to try and help his brethren, as his Sword and Armour erupt into glowing light
*The Loxodon, obviously recognising Lorella's armour think they have seen a ghost, even the Dragon believes Lorella has returned but vows to finish the job
*Flung into battle, the Dragon concentrates it's attacks onto Bunkhemoth as the rest make ranged attacks
*Orenthal's drug habit seems to have some downsides, as upon preparing a spell the power flowing from him is doubles, leaving no doubt that doorway is definitely dead
*Jdango loses his temper and jumps into the fray, side by side his Barbaribro and swinging his axe
*Orenthal takes another potshot at the wall and is sent careening back into the wall's ally...another wall
*Eventually he manages to land an attack with Lucia's aid, nearly crippling the foe
*Calling upon Ordan's divine power, Bunkhemoth channels his will through Lorella's sword to SMITE THE DRAGON, driving down into and through it's skull
*Whatever magic that was involve dissipates as the Warforged cease to function, the Loxodon kneel in reverance to their saviour before fading away into death along with the Draconic beings
*Gathering their looted gear and returning to Puerto Arinosa only to see 5 huge ships moored up, including 2 flying the flag of The Empire
 Downtime - June - August June
* The Kings take time to rest and heal after such a long campaign
*The Empire bring a 200 strong force of soldiers, including leaders to the town
*Water continues to batter the town
*Bunkhemoth decides to gather some friends and make his way to the Lumber Mill, at the very least to avoid potential issues with the new arrivals
*Lucia, fearful for her life after running previously from The Empire (and now even more auspicious with her Draconic lineage showing around her face), decides to leave the camp. Enlisting the help of Jdango they explore local areas for refuge
*
*Orenthal decides to stay in the village, working with Holdron and Constantine he researches the Magic Mushrooms in hopes of finding a way to control their power without descending into madness like our favourite Wizard
*The arrival of Empire soldiers and their expedition have put many people on edge, it seems they have brought many learned scholars and historians alongside a large contingent of heavily armed and armoured soldiers
*Marques del Valle de Oaxaca, leader of the Empire's expedition, spent two weeks in Puerto Arinosa organising the construction of a larger dock and implementing a civic construction plan. With the plan left in the capable hands of the Governor, Oaxaca leads an expedition deep into the jungle and sets up the base camp of Mivens Rest where he can be found planning a deeper thrust into the jungle. Two weeks later he sets out with almost 200 soldiers and slaves and has not been seen or heard from since.
* Rumour has it he is searching for a lost city Los Urbe del Oro...
*Jdango and Lucia scout Mivens Rest (and the surrounding area), only stopping to enjoy the joyful music, interspersed with the wild ramblings of a drunken monk
July
*The Empire have installed a new Governor, Juan Pablo Domingues III, with more seniority than Mayor Enzo. However, it is quickly shown that he is a man left behind, with little power, influence or friends he becomes little more than a simple tax collector with no real power
*He has become a drunk and a gambler over this period, resenting this place and its people. Rumours begin that Juan Pablo has even begun to decry The Empire.
*Jdango and Lucia, staying out of the way of Empire patrols, begin to build underground tunnels and a safe house in case they need to enter or leave Puerto Arinosa quickly
*Orenthal's resarch does not bear any fruit, so decides to venture out to the water to investigate the original shipwrecked boat
*Rumours abound that Tritons are to blame for the weather, that continues to drench the town day and night, seeking to drive people from the land
*An Empire ship, the Fuerte de Madera, caught fire. Its blazing form seen by all in town, unable to do more than watch the conflagration consume it and its precious cargo.
*Rumours that Mayor Enzo Perez was responsible for this fire, as the destruction of the ship and its finest Moonkay fur was lost, this delaying riches reaching the Empire for many more months.
*At the Lumber Mill, Bunkhemoth has gathered a number of the town guards, Arakus Vaan & Pan'dahr Baer, and created a secret militia, ready to support and defend should the Empire turn violent
*Captain Thunnot offers his help in training this team, but preaches prudence saying that the Empire will live and let live, and beginning a violent crusade would be a critical mistake
August
*The seawall has been finished allowing two of the larger ships to lay anchor in a safe port.
*Underground, Jdango's underground tunnels connect right to the edge of the seawall
*Large herds of Moonkay have been migrating closer to the town, allowing a terrific source of income and taxes for the Old World
*Orenthal's trip proves fruitful, he finds several hundred gold within the wrecked ship but also some crucial information about Enzo. It seems he was previously in league with The Empire as documents with his signature show his involvement in wars with the Southern Tribes as well as an attack on the Southern Empire City of Cordoba
*More rumours, in that a great beast has awoken driving animals of all kinds south and from its hunting ground.
==September - Big Cop in a Small Town==
Pub...? Pub.
*Bunkhemoth and Jdango returned to a very different Puerto Arinosa to the one they left just a few months ago. The Empire have made some stunning improvements with a full stockade being built around the village, many buildings and even a small pub (Pati's Pub).
*Inside of the pub we find our dear Orenthal, drunk but happy. After a brief hello they head back to the Fish's new digs inside of the stockade for an update.
*The Fish certainly has done well, with his own room furnished with many fine things, Moonkay fur included
*One succesful bit of research has come up, it seems that the Evil Dagger that he picked up definitely has magical properties, sharing a story that blood will be sucked into it
*In his infinite, Clerical, wisdom, Orenthal the Stabby stabs himself, the blood flows into the dagger and he is shown... something quite scary
*Returning to the real world a moment and a lifetime later, he states that we need to speak with the Count to unravel this mystery. Apparently, a deckhand from the SS Nicole (Petey) is the key...the same deckhand that gave Orenthal the old coin.
*The other sane members of the group aren't convinced, with Bunk trying to take ownership of the dagger for safety before being reminded by Jdango that it doesn't seem to have any power of Orenthal thus far but perhaps could take him
*At this point, a knocking was heard on the door, the group find Gizmo along with 4 guards - it seems our friend of the cloth has found more friends
*Bunkhemoth closes the door on the guards but allows his old friend into the room. It seems that in the old world, Gizmo worked for The Empire, and in fact he is a member of the Gremilios, one of the most famous and rich familes of the Empire
*After hearing this name, Jdango is momentarily startled - as he has his own past with this family and his slavery at the hands of The Bastard
*Gizmo is a Colonel and admits it may not be his first choice to rejoin but he has familial obligations and will do what he must. Seemingly more powerful than both the Mayor and new Governor
*Colonel Gizmo assures his friends that they are still just that, but also is explicit in his warning against violence
*An uneasy truce is made before Gizmo makes his leave
=== Political intrigue afoot ===
* The group go to visit Mayor Enzo, who claims not to have been behind the torching of the Empire ship, so Petey the deckhand is their remaining suspect
*Orenthal shares that he has found Enzo's lost chest in his shipwrecked boat, but was too weak to bring it back. Enzo seems both excited and wary about this as the group promise to return it together
*Enzo leaves for a meeting with Gizmo as the group decide to leave and hunt down this new monster rumoured to be near town
* As they approach the exit they hear a commotion as an Empire solider comes running into the town - there has been an attack at Mivens Rest, the Empire outpost
*The soldier makes his way to the Governor's office, past guards and entering to speak with Juan Pablo and Gizmo
*As the trio follow they are rudely interrupted by two guards outside of the office, after attempting to reason and then intimidate these guards it nearly erupts into fisticuffs before Gizmo stands the man down and allows them to enter
*The peace is brief as more tempers flare, with the group wanting to intervene. Gizmo, surrounded by tepid lapdogs Enzo and Governor Domingues, refuses to tell Bunkhemoth where Mivens Rest and declines help.
*Jdango can take no more of the deceit, secrets, and half truths from Gizmo and essentially tells him to "go fuck himself" amidst a rambling, emotional dialogue fueled by the rage of finding out Gizmo is a Gremilios.
*As the group leave, Bunkhemoth plants a leaving gift on one of the guards jaws as he thumps him to the ground and storms away
*The group make their way to the rumoured monster, longing for simpler times when their biggest responsibility was protecting a cart that transported wood
=== Danger at the Grassy Gnolla ===
* The Kings make their way north west, in search of this rumoured monster. Not long into their journey they stumble across Ramon Jimenez, famous Moonkay trapper and hypocrit
* Ramon and his men have a Moonkay spit roast on the go, with a larger pile of them nearby. They do confirm that something has been scaring the Moonkay away from further north
* Setting off further north, after several days travel they come across some sort of symbol, made crudely of bone and feather, reminding Jdango and Bunkhemoth of warnings about a tribal territory
* Further they search, fortunately skipping forward through that shit, until they come across a shallow river. As the team dally and frolick they are suddenly attacked! (but not surprised)
* A large group of hyena like creatures bound towards them, lead by a group of larger and smaller Gnollas! It seems not cleaning up their mess with the Shashoova has bitten them many hundreds of Moonkays on the ass
* Initiative is rolled, battle ensues, heads are removed
* Jdango is attacked by one of the creatures, and is perhaps called chicken, his yellow Orc eyes glow as the rage inside of him explodes as he draws his Greataxe and furiously attacks - it seems these newfound powers of his are not yet fully under control
* Orenthal employs protection from his guardian spirits, but is still attacked from great distance but an unseen spell caster - the leader of these gnarly bastards
* The Fish is seriously damaged and as he seems close to unconciousness, calls down the fury of the gods that he does not believe as a mighty bolt of lightning zaps him and half a dozen or so enemies around him, saved only by the friendly water elemental ensconced around his wrist 
* This seems to quell the rage inside of Jdango as he snaps out of his fury in time to heal his Fishy man friend
* As the rest of the beasts are finished, their leader bolts for freedom, too far to be stopped, the Kings briefly lick their wounds and bandage up before chasing him through the forest
* Some Jackie Chan shit, and a quick drum solo by Orenthal on Bunk's armour, later - the team track down the bloodied and cowering Gnolla wizard and fuck. him. up
* However - in the distance, they notice smoke - it seems the Gnolla problem is much larger than they had realised as they can see 3 distinct camps in the valley no more than a kilometre across
* The wilder members of the team realise these Gnollas must be eradicated before they multiply and overrun the entire continent!
=== Rock & Gnolla ===
* bird checks out the camps
* decide it's too populated
* skulk around the outer trails
* stumble across vietcong off path traps and avoid scouting Gnollas and pets
* find a cave nearby the camps
* go into the cave, cross the sinewy bridge, take on and defeat some fucked up undead thing
* kill it, dead
* investigate briefly and hear drumming and wailing in the distance
* Gnollas enter the cave, Kings hide in another plane
* Stay there for a while
* Fish thinks we might have been spotted but has no confidence in his own assumptions
* We fall from the sky
* Take on Gnollas
* Bunkhemoth charmed
* Jdango falls off the bridge
* Orenthal falls off the bridge
* Jdango loses his bow saving Orenthal
* Everyone gets back on the bridge
* DUBBLE KRITS YALL
* Jdango didn't need that part of his chest anyway, and Ordan's mark saves him from destruction. Now tatooed on his arm
* The Gnollas are defeated
* The group emerge from the cave to a field of 200 Gnolla
=== Field of Dreams ===
* Discord text escape
* Bunky smears shit
* Jdango kills 2, steals a longbow, fires flame into the distance
* Fish stealths, sets off fires
* Ordan's guidance for Bunk - blinding light to help him escape
* Shit nature check by the fish, so we noisily move away from the field to the paths
* Stunning senses from Jdango hear Gnollas approach in the distance
* Orenthal sees them and estimates their next moves
* 2 more Gnollas approach and the group vault past them silently
* Superhero landing
* Find their shit, Bunkhemoth armours up
* The Kings run and find a cave near a path
=== Cave of Nightmares ===
* Dora the shit out of this place
* Some Quartz men form
* They. get. fucked. up
* Drop some crystals
* Django sets a trap
* Orenthal makes it rain...on himself
* Loses a fuckton of coin
* Emerge from the cave, track the Gnollas heading to PA
* Decide what to do...
=== Run, Forrest, Run! ===
* The Kings sprint back to PA - a long, grueling journey beset by Fish wishing he hadn't dumped CON. Upon returning to a camp as one smoked salmon
* Back in the town the group split up in order to rest and make some stops
* Fish heads home to rest up and do nothing else
* Bunk heads to Gizmo, realising tempers flared last time and looking to reconcile with his old friend. Fortunately things were smoothed over quickly for the greater good
* The greater goooooood
* Jdango goes to the pub to unwind and forget, just looking for solace at the bottom of a drink, but surprisingly finding it in other patrons
* Fish reappears, but refuses to answer questions as to why. He enjoys a sumptuos Monk's Head Ale
* Fish heads in to see ya boy Birdseye, who's like wassup my Trigga and Fish is like 'you can't say that, that word is for us only' and Birdseye is like 'yeh trigga fo sho'
* We meet THE BARD BOYS - They're in the The Puerto Arinchester grabbing a pint and singing THE BALLAD OF BUNKHEMOTH (and The Other Guys) - fuckin legends
* The group then reconvene with the town in order to decide on how to deal with the Gnolla problem
* A large group, Thunnot, Gizmo, Birdseye, Holdron i think, all discuss shit for literally 2 weeks before deciding to take most of the townspeople north and fuck these Gnollas up
=== March, Forrest, March! ===
* Over 80 (mostly) willing proud Puerto Arinosians march towards where the Gnollas were last seen
* The Kings lead, inspire, patch up, feed, and water the men
* Jdango gets pretty riled up, tracks poorly, alienates some sailors and 7 (not very) good men are lost, and 1 very good man is incapacitated.
* The teams devise their attack plan on the camps
* Bunk goes invisible before shitting the bed, and unfortuantely invisibility doesn't cover smells
=== The Triton: Battle of the Five Armies ===
* Bunk, Arakis, and 2 soldiers takes on the Hobgoblin and 3 hench shadowy figures
* Jdango, Orenthal and the gang take on the rest of the camp
* Thonnot and Holdron smash their backdoors in - death and fire coarse through the camp
* Wave after wave are slain, and then the Fish SHATTERS himself into ovlibion
* I seen a penaut stand, heard a rubber band, I seen a needle that winked its eye, but I be done seen about everything, when I see 4ft fish flyyyyyyy
* The Kings enact phase 2 of their plan and turn tail and funnel the Gnollas towards the chokepoint
* The Priest that ruined Jdango's escape plan and cost him his bow appeared. Now it's personal.
* A back and forth ensued and Gnollas launch themselves through a firetrap, to no avail.
* Orenthal plays with the weather, Bunkhemoth and Jdango charge at the biggest threat. The priest gets high-lowed and fumbles away his life.
* Game blouses.
=== The Triton: An Unexpected Journey ===
* Orenthal heads straight back to PA. Can't imagine why.
* Bunk/Jdango stay and slay
* Gnollas are eviscerated
* Back to the town, party on Wayne
== October - Why did Captain Birdseye blush? ==
* Because the SEAWEED
* Nah, it's because he saw the outline of Orenthal's dick through his armour
=== The Triton: The Desolation of his Asshole...probably ===
* Orenthal searches the ship - finds the Sea Elf
* Party on Garth
* Empire ships look like they're due to leave - full of Moonkay furs
* Orenthal Stormcaller (Fatboy Slim Refix), a Teon/Fenton banger, is released
* Next morning is met with screams from the beach
* Huge mass of seaweed full of debris and people
* Kings took a shortcut, arrived first and helped with salvage efforts
* Jdango helped a survivor but was subject to significant abuse from the hoipaloi. Cunts.
* The Duchess is taken away, the Kings fought a seaweed monster that killed some randomers.
* Orenthal used a Level 4 spell as soon as he finished a long rest. U ok bbz?
=== Did we just become best friends? ===
* Yup!
* Surrounded by death and destruction, the Fish sees a perfect opportunity to seek treasure
* He finds gems and gold amongst the debris...mostly in the pockets of people that "won't be needing it any more". His words. A true hero
* Jdango peers into the water from his ivory tower and finds some bracers that should help steady his aim. Probably not
* Bunk needs not for material possessions because he has been a God since Level 3
* Another survivor appears further down the beach. Jdango checks him over
* He refers to the Tritons as 'the enemy'. Can't imagine why...
* Bunk and Jdango head to town, stopping off at the Blacksmith
* Bunkhemoth bestows a master crafted, beautifully inlaid, non-Moonkay tendon laden bow. It's beautiful and should help steady his aim. Probably not
* We'll be adventuring as a team
* We're here to fuck shit up
=== Journey to Dwarvington Abbey ===
* After a nap was rudely interrupted by Leonard Di Caprio the team set off to Dwarfdale in hopes of restoring the water and cheering up Panda
* A several week journey, first stopping off at Mivens Rest and meeting... Pati again? also maybe some chick? They hear stories about evil Dwarves who seem to worship a Basilisk - the folks are very scared of Panda as a result of this
* Moving onward they come across a suspiciously caved in Temple but for the first time ever stick to the main quest
* After a week or so of travelling a river is discovered with a broken bridge, deciding to climb down the cliff and cross through the shallow water they very almost die to 2 death stare cows and some fucking fish
* The journey takes them high into the mountains, with our Kings, Lucia and Panda create an igloo in order to rest for the evening
* Pow - abomonibal random encouter! Yeti attack on a snowy mountain, be careful not to make any loud noises
* Fish makes a loud noise
* When are they going to get to the Dwarfirework factory!?!
* They find the cave entrance! Just a few more weeks to go!
* The caves are labirynth like, with Panda bleating on about how long it took him to climb out, hope this guy shuts up soon
*Inside they find several dead dwarves, which is surprising as no one is supposed to be this high
*Surprise surprise, those dead dwiggas aint fully dead, a full horde of zombies emerge and start to give chase
*Panda is turning into a spider and ferrying mother fuckers around, Jdiderman misjudges a cliff and penguino locos himself into a wall
* Orenthal has his 1 good idea out of 20 and blows 50 odd zombies
*Attempting to rest afterwards, some gelatinous monster emerges from the cave walls and begins to attack
*It doesn't last too long however in attacking Lucia, her skin burns away up her arm revealing golden scales below
*They find the Dwarf hole and climb down!
*The Dwarven river is almost entirely run dry, very scary, in the distance they can see a huge city/temple type thing
*Closer up the Baer City is empty - many rooms with open doors and some signs of battle but no dwarves!
*One room has a suspicious hole in it, filled with rags, on moving them they hear familiar chitinous sounds
*They hide in the room, as multiple smaller and 2 much larger of the Starship Trooper enemies appear - although more organic instead of being entirely metal
*Luckily they don't find our heroes but it's clear that The Veil has attacked!
* Venturing onward they come across the Dwarve's holy temple, guarded by a huge stone door that Panda has no idea how to open
*Orenthal gets pickin' while Bunkhemoth wisely shouts a message
*Concidentally The Veil monsters attack!
*It comes down to the wire as Orenthal opens the door just as the monsters begin to overrun the party
*Bunkhemoth grabs Lucia before shoulder tackling his way into the door
*They turn back expecting Panda to be with them, but he isn't... He shouts a message to run, turns into a fucken spider and dies
*RIPanda - maybe?
===The Woman, the Myfril, the Legend===
*The Pandas are happy that such valiant warriors have come to the aid!
*Buncha fuggen Scottish Irish bastards are not too happy, calling Panda all sorts of names and nearly losing their lives over it
* They meet Camem Baer - Dwarf captain and not particlarly nice guy - he takes their armour and weapons and telling them the council will see them soon to decide their fates
*Inside of the temple there are around 600 Dwarves, packed in and sleeping rough, at the end of the temple there is a pool of water as well as an area cordened off
*A nice long rest later, they meet some of the guards before being summoned by the council who speak what can only be called Gaelic, before a spell is cast to allow them to all understand eachother
*8 I think, with an even split between do-nothing religious wankers who worship the 'one true water god' and warriors keen to help and support
*The Dwarves protect the 'Great Lake' - by doing... jack shit - but recently for some unknown reason the water started to run dry *whistles*
*Jdango and Bunkhemoth are quite forthright - you are doing nothing, we are here to help and we will go to investigate this hidden, potentially evil temple somewhere in the depths
* Another Baer makes himself known, Booboo - a warrior and one of the council and an old friend of Panda's
*The meeting ends, and the team investigate this mysterious pool, known as the holiest of their water - come from the Great Lake itself - but inside of the pool they can see the same gold ring they have seen before..
*All of a sudden, the water begins to whirl and lift towards the room - SHAZAAAAAM - the water explodes leaving behind a solitary female figure
*This mysterious figure begins by speaking Ancient - ding ding good use of a training point right there - before breaking into common and announcing herself as Myfril Mithrandir
*LORE DUMP!!!!
*She has been sent to help as one of the 12 wards that protect this land from evil has begun to fail
*Not recognising Loxodon nor Triton, she does recognise Bunk's armour - turns out she knows Ordan, hell he owes her 20 bucks
*A descendant/offspring of the Ancients - also known as The Twelve - she scoffs at the idea they are gods - then who the hell did I pledge myself too?!
*It seems she wants to help, yet is no longer so sure about The Twelve. Each of them secure a land on the planet, with each of these having 12 wards - she does not know the name of The Veil but recognises what it is
*The religous zealots all prostate themselves to her but are still not very helpful, they decide to venture forth with Booboo and Lucia to find this ward temple a mile or so away
*Halfway there they hear noises and Dwarf voices
*We find 3 Dwarves wearing strange Squid helmets, and a strange Squid man himself, plus some fucken dinosaurs
* Squidward tries turning them against our beloved Myfril, Fish seriously considers it
*Battle erupts, Bunk valiantly saves one of them by removing his helmet - sadly he did not survive
*Squid boy legs it
*Myfril gets all sleepy and her voice seems to change
*They find another gold door that fucks up fish boy, then a big long room of traps and shit we are too stupid to disarm
== November - The Land That Timeline Forgot ==
* They enter the Holy Temple, it seems safe enough...
* Another gold bull and 2 shadow creatures attack. Myfril goes down. Oh yeeaaaaaa
* The ward is low on power and The Veil is encroaching because the portective orbs are disrupted again
* They get fixed but not before something sneaks through - a destructive mist
* A valiant battle ensues with much bloodshed, The beast is banished back to The Veil and nearly sucks off Orenthal into the void. Jdango saves him. Standard.
* A dragon (within this makeshift dungeon) tells the group of the False Gods (including Ordan!) and challenges what the faith that they have
* The Kings make their way back to the Dwarves to share what they have found out
* They hear of further issues around the camp that Bunk & Fish go to investigate
* Greenskin stays behind with Lucia to check the water problem - one that looks like it can be solved with a selfless sacrifice by the Fish...that's gonna be a tough sell
* Jdango leaves to find Bunk & Orenthal to share the news. It went down as you'd expect.
* They found a hole. They didn't want to go into the hole. The Loxodon jumped in the hole.
* They shouldn't have gone in the hole. It was a critter nest.
* SHIT
* GOT
* REAL
* BOOM. POW. THWACK. POISON. SHATTER. FAINT. RUN.
* Such a heat this day, I don't need this elemental bracer
=== Orenthal, The Holy ===
* The ultimate sacrifice was made
* Well, it wasn't. But he acts like it was.
* Stubborn Dwarves and Angry Fish engage in verbal sparring
*The factions are split into the Leavers and the Remainers
*They vote, and Dwexit happens
*While preparing for leaving its clear the Great Lake has been contaminated. And four dwarves, and the mighty Orenthal are consumed by it...losing their memories in the process
*For the greater good, Orenthal gives up the Blood Dagger
*THE GREATER GOOOOOOOD
*He retains his bracer, glowing blood red. Unsure why, what, or how it works.
=== Run Through The Jungle ===
* The boyz make their way back to Puerto Arinosa, things do seem odd and their are numerous birds around 
*In the midst of the night the boys get a few beers in 'em until a thunderous eruption - someone has attacked Fish boy's bedroom
*Bunkhemoth does what he does, self-defenestration, but nothing can be found
*They storm over to the Empire, Bunkhemoth is champing at the bit to challenge Petey but he only has eyes for Orenthal
*Inside of the town these crazy winged rats start dive bombing Orenthal, so they're not all bad
*Investigating we find out the Empire have an anti-magic field in their area
*On Enzo's boat however one of the birds viciously attacks, causing evil necrotic damage to Orenthal - the team realise now these are familiars being controlled by someone - BUT WHO?!
=== Mysterious spiderings and a fallen comrade ===
* Trying to work out the bird problem they now get a spider problem, as Ramon joins the group early one morning with a dead, but young spider - this thing has to have been born recently and spiders don't have small litters
*Venturing into the jungle they meet with the Moonkay trackers and it isn't long until they find their prey
*Dozens of smaller spiders attack followed swiftly by a 60 foot tall, anger hell-beast of a mother
*Battle music begins, followed shortly by funeral music as Ramon succumbs to the irony of being squashed like a bug 
*The team share the news with other trackers, handing over his possessions and a donation towards his family
=== Discovery of the Shawoogan Temple ===
* Following the remains of the spider they find a previously unknown cave, and squeezing through this it leads of an abandoned Shawoogan temple
*Inside of the temple there is a huge trap room, water filling out before the boys manage to stop it
*They come across a pit of sand, looking like a dueling arena, ol' Trunky steps right in before being attacked by ghostly, sea elf apparitions 
*Kicked dey fuckin' ass
*In the next chamber, there is an exit, a normal door and what seems like a demonic door
*Normal door, cha-ching, a treasure trove including 3 spell scrolls (Aura of Life, Blinding Smite, Mass Suggestion) plus a Fish Elf sword, armour/crown/shield set, a scarab of protection, 1,300 platnium, 480 gems worth 50 GP each, some antique coins (valuable to the right buyer!), Octopus Staff, Frost Strength potion, arrows of Jdango and an arrow catching shield!
*They decide to return to town for support before trying the Demon Door
*The main entrance they leave through has an unsettling throne in there...
*
=== Shawoogan Temple 2: Electric Boogaloo ===
* Birds seem to have chilled back in town
*The group decide to enlist the support of Ophelia the Fish Elf as well as Holdron and after a snooze head back out
*Returning to the temple Holdron warns of a trap with this throne, and disables it and the 4 large stone statues
*Ophelia sees a vision of a destroyed city when brushing past the throne..
*They manage to open the Demon Door and inside of it find another pool of water, with something inside?
*The crown spontaneously combusts and the Fish THREW IT ON THE GROUND
*The pool is triggered by the clumsy spellcasting Fish (or was it activated?) and black tentacles begin protruding from it
*The fish *selflessly* throws the Fish Elf sword to Ophelia. Why?
*The Fish and Ophelia rush to pick up the Crown and a wall of water erupts. Ophelia dons the crown (which activates when she wears it) and starts royally fucking up the stone men
*Holdron focuses on controlling the pool beast while Jdango shields him from multiple onslaughts
*Ophelia sees multiple visions of Orenthal and of a destroyed city
*The beast is returned to the pool and the Golems destroyed, but Holdron is a husk of a man
*Bunkhemoth cradles his friend's limp body and rushes back to PA
== December - A Schism Amongst the Kings? ==
=== Greased Up Dead Guys ===
*The Kings lay Holdron to rest...
*...in a bed so that he can gather his strength and be ready for the next super duper veil monster
*They head to the pub and are stopped stone dead, by a stone dead Kanye West sympathiser
*'Tis but a scratch, but Valter is very much an ex-barman
*He is put on ice and the boys get to tracking down the culprit...Pati is very conveniently absent and is apparently making his way to Mivens Rest
*Everyone and their mums has seen Pati: workers, Grenn, GG, GG's mum
*Jerrum is out tracking, but neither he nor the group can locate the shifty Kobold. It's almost like he passed by without a trace
*Rather than waste their time looking for someone that doesn't want to be found (or treasure!), the boys head back to PA to play God...is this the fish's redemption arc?
=== Best. Session. EVER! ===
*Valter's body lays on Pati's cellar table, frozen in time
*Orenthal is hellbent on bringing his friend back, but Runa (and societal etiquette) begs him to rethink his plan
*Obviously doesn't change his mind. Stubborn fish
*The ritual begins, and almost immediately a giant, blue fucking demoinoid thing emerges from the demi-plane
*Bunkhemoth strides forward to protect his friends
*Greenskin puts himself between this hell demon and Orenthal and supports both of his friends in their endeavours
*For what seems like an eternity the ritual continues, while Bunkhemoth and Jdango try to keep this glowing construct at bay
*Sweat beads down Orenthal's fishhead - Valter might not make it. Hell, they all might die
*No TPK today mon amie
*Fish completes the ritual. The Kings collapse on top of each other, sweaty, out of breath, spent
*Fish lights a cigarette and scratches another notch into his bedpost
*Wrong wiki...
*Valter is told he was on death's door but the fish helped him survive
*He told of Pati's misdeeds and confirmed the suspicions held all along
*He spoke of an egg hidden in the pub
*What egg?
*Fish?
=== The cup runneth over ===
*So, the fish has been running a black market and spy ring from the pub
*"I had nothing to do while you guys were away making the island safe" seems to be the justification
*"I didn't tell you because you never asked" does not sit well with Jdango and Bunkhemoth
*Bunkhemoth is angrier than when Ant cancelled 23 minutes before the session was going to start
*For the third time
*Words are exchanged, tempers are frayed, emotions run high - Jdango plays peacekeeper because no one here is Judge Judy and Executioner
*It's agreed that there are to be no more secrets from here on
*Fish 'agrees' - the other two are watching him closely now
*They track Pati to Mivens Rest again
*Go to Basilisk Temple
*Fight zombie shit and basilisks
*Leave Pati dying but not before taking his amulet from him
*After he has fully rocked out Bunk decides to also smash him up just to be safe
=== Plants be Feywildin' ===
*On the way back to town, our beloved Greenskin seems to be phasing in an out of reality but turns out he was just having trouble with a level 1 half Aasimar
*As they get closer they come across the familiar band of road workers, but it's just their empty camp - where are they?
*Definitely legged it, and someone seems to think this is some pretty funny shit
*Orenthal must have seen something shiny as he uncharacteristically does something semi-brave and blindly runs into what turns out to be some sort of portal
*Bunk bowls through after him while Jdango rolls initative vs a dirty nappy
*Where the fuck are we? Looks jungly but wrong, definitely not where we were?
*There's a gorgeous pool of water so of course Fish gets excited, before getting tangled up by toddler groot
*Bunk thinks that looks fun and joins him
*Jdango, with steady aim, has so far wasted 4 nappies
*The boys go full Mexican and wack these weeds while Orenthal discovers why the Groots avoiding the water as some other monster in there
*Manage to win the day and bounce out
=== Holdron the White?! ===
*Lucia has been investigating the Shawoogan Facility and has some a concentrated mushroom serum that could help Holdron?!
*Gizmo gives us an update, the birds have stopped their rampage and thinks perhaps a Fey creature could have been involved? Not sure why they would target Orenthal unless they've somehow met him
*A decision is made, they will take Holdron to the facility and adminster the potion, will he snap back to reality or immediately try and kill us?
*
=== GOD DAMNIT FISH ===
*The team plus Lucia lock down the Shawoogan facility, Lucia thinks putting Holdron in a chamber and then administering is the safest options
*Green and Grey skin scout out the rest of the facility to make sure there are no surprises when they heard a bloodcurdling scream.. 
*It's the Fish, of course, he's drank the potion, of course
*Somehow pickpocketing Lucia, he's fucking firing lightning everywhere with his hair on it's ends, shatters the roof and nearly collapses it
*Fish is fucking gone, he's lost control and is lashing out, Jdango tackles him down to try and talk sense, suceeds on athletics, nat 1 on persuasion (dc 1 million) 
*He is cantripping his balls off
*Bunk loses control himself, raging and beating this fishy mother fucker
*Stabs him, he's down! he's in ice! he's alive! he's down! he's up! Bunk even goes down before Ordan pushes him back into the fray "Your fight is not over"
*Fucking OP mother fucker, kill his ass 3 times and decide what to do
*Jdango zones of truth his ass and we find out.. not much
*He admits drinking it but to 'make sure it's safe'
*We do find out some guy called Carlos gave him the Count's Coin
*Let him put his clothes back on and off we go
== January - Some fishy business ==
=== Holdron ain't Happy ===
*Upon returning to the town the 2 non retarded members see Holdron, Fish checks in at the pub
*Gizmo is about, and manages to outmanoeuvre Orenthal into casting some detection spells down in the room formerly known as Volter's tomb
*Some other shit happened then old man H rolls in and goes nuts - apparently this whole taboo law is a big thing
*Fish gets arrested
=== Courtoom drama time! ===
*We take some time to understand what's going on - basically the fish gets arrested and all his shit taken, there's gonna be a trial with village elders deciding wazzup
*Fish gets a visit from ya boi Count - says he can help out but will want a favour in the future
*We have Captain Thunnot, Captain Birdseye, Holdron, Trev the unendowed, The Countessa, The Goveror Oaxava, Gizmo, Enzo & da bitch from Mizzens Rest
*The boys take some time to speak with a few of the deciding people
*Holdron knows his guilty but against the death penalty, Enzo and crew with us
*Thunnot travels down and has a big time sparrring session with Bunk, close call with Bunk taking it but Thunnot admits years ago in the Empire he was involved in something where someone had lost control and ultimatly their mind (Baron callback!)
*Bunk and Jdango ask for mercy, and offer to take the same punishment as the fish - they ask for exil over execution
*Vote happens and it's 4 jail, 4 exile, 3 execution - so a run off between the first 2
*Surprisingly Trev votes for exile, they speak to him and he suggests their mutual friend has made it happen..
*Second vote comes around and it's a huge swing towards exile - the boys are shocked and the Countessa is happy
*Holdron is furious..
*We find another similar chest to birdseyes but this time had the matching sending stone shell
*We get the fucking boot, say our goodbyes, Lucia wants to come with us but can't, exiled from not only the town but past the lumber yard, trev's mine, mizzens rest etc
=== Off to the Mine.. ===
*On the exit from the PA area they check in with Trev
*Jdango still hates him, FIsh is quiet cause he's technically in America, Trev is chill
*Turns out it actually was Birdseye, not the Count, who made contact - is Birdseye the fucking Count?! Definitely in league with him
*Trev wants us the help clear out some unexplored mines, gives us several around the camp 
*Picked up a BIRD COMPANION!!! - Tinkerbell
*
=== Mine Kampf ===
* Trev's lackey takes us to a mine. It's deserted.
* A few men died while exploring offshoots of the main tunnel. Obviously, let's go investigate that shit. Lackey boy runs off.
* WTF...? A room full of a dragonborn terracotta army? That's a bit weird to see, but surely not important in the grand scheme of things.
* Oh fuck. A mind flayer is chilling at the altar. Fish gets corrupted...again. Bunk unleashes hell and Jdango tries to help Orenthal.
* But he's too late. The fish is absorbed into a giant, red bubble. Fuck.
* Or is he? Fish emerges unscathed and unleashes his own hell to destroy the mindflayer. Something's off though...
* The mindflayer has nothing of value, but this altar looks like it moves. Brute force does nothing. The. Jdango's bloodied body comes into contact with the altar and it slides away. Inside: a sarcophagus.
* Again, looks like it moves. Jdango sees flashes of himself in the image in front of him. The lid moves. An ornate bow and axe adorn the mummified corpse. Jdango lifts them. The visions continue.
* Curious as to what else may be hidden he checks with the fish whether his blood should also touch this artefact. Fish nods slowly.
* Jdango's hand presses firmly against the sarcophagus.
* Nothing...
* NOT NOTHING! FUUUUUUCCCCKKKK...
Category:Timelines