Helluva Boss (film)/Transcript

Transcript of the 2024 adult-animated film Helluva Boss.
==Prologue ==
(The A24 (North American version only), Sony, TriStar Pictures, Good Universe, and New Eden Pictures logos play. Then we fade to a night backdrop, where a car pulls into a warehouse. Out stepped a human, aged 55, who walked in, as the camera showed newspapers saying: "FBI's Most Wanted Criminal Escapes!" and "President Urges Citizens for Extra Caution.")
Unknown Person #1: So... you've planned it out?
(A light flickered in, revealing another man of Mexican ethnicity.)
Unknown Person #2: Yes, boss. The henchmen and I did exactly what you asked.
Unknown Person #1: Good.
(He stepped into the light, revealing himself as Dicker "El Dicko" Francis. He wore a black suit and a small top hat. He threw his smoking pipe on a map.)
El Dicko: Hernando!
Hernando: Yes, boss?
El Dicko: Come over here.
(Hernando walked over to El Dicko, next to the map.)
Hernando: What do you want to show me?
El Dicko: Look here.
(He placed his finger on an unnamed area near New York City.)
El Dicko: What do you say we... assassinate the President of the United States at the Square?
Hernando: You sure about this? The last time we tried to, you got captured.
El Dicko: Oh, Hernando. When will you learn? I've got just the thing that defies the police.
Hernando: And that is...?
El Dicko: A distraction.
(Hernando took a moment to process that.)
Hernando: Okay. I like where you're going with this.
El Dicko: Exactly. Because, my friend, once we assassinate the President of the United States, the world will see how dangerous of a human I am, and they will bow to me, giving us what we always want...
(The camera moved toward his face.)
El Dicko: ...loyalty.
(Then we cut to black.)
==Part 1==
(We cut to a commercial jingle titled the "I.M.P. Jingle." In the commercial, it shows a montage of three demons and one hellhound killing humans.)
Singer:
When you want somebody gone
And you don't want to wait too long
Call the Immediate Murder Professionals
Hand grenade or cyanide
We'll make it look like suicide
The Immediate Murder Professionals
We do our job so well
Because we come straight up from Hell
We'll kill your husband or your wife
We'll even let you keep the knife
We're the Immediate Murder Professionals
Kids die for free!
(The jingle ends.)
Voiceover: For more information, dial the number shown on screen.
(Cut to a board meeting, where Blitzø, the boss of I.M.P., is in front of a TV.)
Blitzø: Boom! And that's how you do a TV ad, everyone! I knew I couldn't forget you, Loony.
(Loona, Blitzø's adopted daughter and hellhound, rolls her eyes and looks at her cellphone. Moxxie, an employee of I.M.P., raises his hand.)
Moxxie: Sir, how would you know that remaking this commercial would bring in more clients?
Blitzø: Moxxie, don't lower my hopes down.
Moxxie: I'm not lowering your hopes down.
Blitzø: Now, any questions before I dismiss you all?
(Millie, an employee of I.M.P. and the wife of Moxxie, raises her hand.)
Blitzø: Yes, Millie?
Millie: What's our paycheck for the ad?
Blitzø: I didn't get an email from the advertising company yet. Hopefully they'll pay us or else I am going to fucking sue them.
Moxxie: Suing them is not going to change their mind, sir.
Blitzø: Yeah, yeah, Moxxie. Alright, dismissed!
(Millie, Moxxie, and Loona left the board room and went to their respective working areas.)
Moxxie: You think we could get this company up with that ad? It's the exact same thing we did before, but with Loona added.
Millie: Chill, Mox. I'm sure we could get up on our feet!
Moxxie: If only we can.
(Cut to Blitzø looking at his phone in his office, swiping on Sinstagram and swipes away an ad for the Hazbin Hotel. A pop-up for an incoming phone call from an owl named Stolas appears.)
Blitzø: Ah, crap.
(He accepts the phone call.)
Blitzø: Hello?
(We cut to a bedroom with Stolas, the Goetic Prince of Hell.)
Stolas: Why, hello, my Blitzy.
Blitzø: Stolas, what do you want?
(Stolas snickered.)
Blitzø: Oh, god. Stolas, don't!
Stolas: Why not, Blitzø?
Blitzø: I'm not going to do... that.
Stolas: But it's so nice when you [bleep] on my [bleep], and then [bleep] all over you again.
Blitzø: Please stop.
Stolas: Oh, I'm not done yet. When I get there, you'll [bleep] on me, just like how I request it. [bleep] on that [bleep] of yours and then [bleep] all over you. And then the cycle continues.
Blitzø: If you don't stop this instant, I will hang up on you.
Stolas: Come on, Blitzø. We're just getting started.
Blitzø: We are not getting started.
Stolas: It's only for a little bit. So- Hello?
(Stolas finds out the call had ended.)
Stolas: Oh, well. Maybe he'll decide upon it.
(Just then, Octavia, Stolas's daughter, came in.)
Octavia: Dad, Mom wants to talk with you.
(Stolas sighed.)
Stolas: Tell her I'm coming.
Octavia: Alright.
(Cut back to I.M.P. headquarters, where Loona was at her reception desk. A demon walked up to her desk.)
Loona: Can I help you?
James: Yes, hi. I'd like to make a request.
Loona: Okay. Who's the victim you want killed?
James: El Dicko.
(Loona types in her computer.)
Loona: Okay. We'll send that to our boss. Thank you for choosing the Immediate Murder Professionals.
James: Good. I can't wait to see that piece of shit rot here.
Loona: Jeez, no need to get angry.
(James walked away. Another demon walked up.)
Loona: And what can I do for you this time?
Marcy: I'd like to have a person named El Dicko killed.
(Loona types on her computer before stopping for a second.)
Loona: Wait, who did you say you want to get killed?
Marcy: El Dicko.
(Loona continues typing on the computer.)
Loona: El Dicko. Who is this?
(Then, another demon walks up.)
Loona: Let me guess. El Dicko, isn't it?
Jack: Yeah.
Loona: Okay. If El Dicko's the victim who wants to be dead, raise your hand.
(James, Marcy, Jack, and six other demons raised their hand.)
Loona: Holy shit. All of you guys want this El Dicko guy assassinated?
All except Loona: Yeah!
Loona: Dear Satan.
Carrie: This bitch has done nothing but mass murder throughout the world!
Neil: She's right. He killed all of us in a shooting yesterday!
Kelly: If you don't get that asshole killed, we will sue you all!
Loona: Now hang on just a moment there-
Tracy: You know what? Fuck this! I gotta kick something!
(Tracy kicked a vase and it shattered to the ground.)
Loona: Hey! That's Blitzø's property!
Tracy: Not like he has anything to do about it!
Lisa: So any choices, hound?
Loona: I'm already going to tell the employees about it! Just give me a sec!
(Loona ran to the kitchen, where Moxxie and Millie were talking.)
Millie: So then, he went "I don't know what you're talking about." And then I went, "What do you mean? You were a witness!"
Moxxie: He's that dumb?
Millie: Don't know, but the only thing I know about him is that he was there when-
Loona: Hey, Millie, TD, come with me.
Moxxie: What did you just call me?
Loona: You heard me. Now come on!
(Loona went out and Moxxie and Millie did the same. They saw the clients causing mayhem to the lobby.)
Moxxie: Oh, crumbs.
Millie: What's going on here?
Loona: They said something about some El Dicko shit. I don't know. We gotta tell Blitzø.
(The three ran to Blitzø's office. Blitzø was doing a crossword puzzle.)
Blitzø: Okay, that word doesn't go there. What about-
Loona: Blitzø!
Blitzø: Gah!
(Blitzø tipped over his chair.)
Blitzø: Guys! What the hell did I tell you about knocking on the door before you enter?
Moxxie: Sorry, sir, but this is urgent!
Blitzø: Okay, what is so "urgent" that you had to rush to my door and nearly break my fucking skull?
(Cut to the lobby.)
Moxxie: This is what was so "urgent" we had to rush to your door and nearly break your fucking skull.
Blitzø: Oh my Satan. Lots of clients!
(He climbed onto Loona's desk.)
Blitzø: Now everyone, can I have your attention please?
(The clients stopped their rioting.)
Lisa: What is it now?
Blitzø: I'm sure my receptionist is aware of your El Dicko situation?
Marcy: You got that right.
Blitzø: What exactly does he do?
Neil: He commits terrorism everywhere he goes!
Tracy: That and the fact he makes sometimes offensive stuff towards everyone!
Ash: You got that right. He even made fun of my step-sister for being a "dwarf."
Blitzø: Wow. Who gives a shit about that?
Ash: Ugh. I do!
James: Now you either help us or we are tearing this hellhole to the ground!
(Loona whispers in Blitzø's ear.)
Blitzø: Okay, everyone. I have made a decision. We...
(Everyone listened.)
Blitzø: ...are going to...
(They waited.)
Blitzø: ...not kill El Dicko.
James: WHAT?!
Kelly: I thought your ad said we could "get anyone killed whenever we want," you liar!
Blitzø: I'm just kidding, everyone. Of course we've got ya.
James: Oh, heh heh. He's just joking, everyone. How much do we owe ya?
Blitzø: Probably $20 at best.
All: We'll take it!
(Cut to the exterior of the building, where a bus was seen driving away.)
Blitzø: Good day, my friends! We'll get that douche in less than 24 hours or your kill is free!
Moxxie: And you're still implementing that deal?
Blitzø: Of course I am.
Loona: Oh gosh. Guys, I think I know who this "El Dicko" is.
Blitzø: Really? Tell us.
Loona: Okay.
(Loona cleared her throat.)
Loona: "El Dicko is the world's most feared man. From killing people to commiting world terrorism, he is a person slated to be avoided at all costs. He will slit your ass in under a second upon exposure."
Blitzø: And where do you get this information from?
Loona: My Sinstagram.
(Loona turned her phone around to show Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie a news article about El Dicko.)
Blitzø: Wow, Loony. You're really useful, you know that? You get a treat.
Loona: Ew. Stop.
(Blitzø throws the treat into the air and catches it with his mouth.)
Loona: You're so gross!
Moxxie: No shit.
Blitzø: Alright, everyone! Let's go in!
==Part 2==
(A Batman-esque transition played and we cut to the board room.)
Blitzø: Loona, can you track down El Dicko?
Loona: Nothing popping up.
Blitzø: Well, that's just great. That's just fucking great.
Moxxie: Sir, can't we just look around first? That would sound reasonable.
(Loona's phone rung.)
Loona: Oh shit. Guys, I think I've got the location of El Dicko. He's in New York City.
Blitzø: New York City? That hellhole?
Millie: New York City doesn't sound bad!
Blitzø: New York City is a rotting place, Millie. It is bad.
Millie: Didn't look that bad to me.
Moxxie: So sir, when are we leaving?
Blitzø: We're leaving in about ten minutes.
Loona: Hey, is there any way I can go with you guys?
Blitzø: Why do you want to do that?
Loona: Come on. You know why.
Blitzø: Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. New York City is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of freaks up there who'd drool all over you!
(Everyone breaks the fourth-wall by looking at the screen in disapproval.)
Loona: Well, maybe they stopped now.
Blitzø: You know what? You're right. Welcome to the team, sweetie.
Loona: I've been on the team with you for a while now.
Blitzø: Eh, who gives a shit?
(Blitzø took a seat.)
Blitzø: Now listen here, you ass-cracks. We are about to kill the worst victim we have ever witnessed. He sounds like he has bodyguards in every single part of his base. So one small mistake, and he shoots your guts out. No dillydallying here.
Millie: Yeah, maybe I changed my mind. This El Dicko guy sounds like he's gonna kill our asses on this one.
Moxxie: Same here.
Loona: For once, I agree with them. Why don't we just tell our clients we just killed him immediately and call it a day.
Blitzø: Are you fucking kidding me, guys? After you just said we can do this? You gotta make up your minds. Either you go to the human world, or don't! Which leaves getting you fired. Including you, Loona.
(Loona rolled her eyes.)
Blitzø: Come on, guys. Give yourself a little grit. Get out there like it's the start of summer break. Don't let those shit-stains get in your way. They just want to bring you down. So either we lie to them and lose our careers, or finish the job and be hailed as "heroes." Your choice. Anywho picks the former, raise your hand.
(No one raised their hand.)
Blitzø: Okay. Anyone who picks the latter, raise your hand.
(Moxxie, Millie, and Loona raised their hands.)
Blitzø: Oh, fuck me in the asshole. There is a god. Alright, get on out. I have to make a phone call.
(The three left, leaving Blitzø alone. He dialed Stolas. Stolas was laying on his couch.)
Stolas: Hello?
(Blitzø sighed.)
Blitzø: Stolas.
Stolas: Blitzy! Have you made your mind?
Blitzø: Oh my god. That's not why I called. Stolas, listen. Me and the pals are going to New York to kill a person named El Dicko.
Stolas: The human world?
Blitzø: Yes, Stolas. I wanted to ask if you could fill in for me at the I.M.P. headquarters.
Stolas: As in, replacing you?
Blitzø: No, not replacing me! Taking care of my job until I get back!
Stolas: Oh, Blitzy! How wonderful! So you're hiring me as an assassin? I call dibs on the guns!
Blitzø: No! It's neither! I'm just asking if you could temporarily do my job!
Stolas: Oh, Blitzø. You're so cute when you get angry. I'm [bleep].
Blitzø: No, not that kind of "coming."
Stolas: Just messing with ya. Won't be long!
Blitzø: Thank you!
(He hangs up.)
Blitzø: Holy shit. Is it that hard to explain?
(Cut back to Stolas.)
Stolas: Sounds like this will be-
Stella: Stolas! What is this?
(Stella, Stolas's wife, barges in. She showed Stolas one of Blitzø's ties.)
Stolas: That is nothing.
Stella: Then why does it have "imp" written all over it?
Stolas: It's none of your business, witch.
Stella: Ugh! Why are you still attached to that piece of shit?!
Stolas: He is my best friend! And friends don't leave each other!
Stella: What about me? What am I?
Stolas: You're my nobody! So get out now, or else I am shooting a gun at your face!
Stella: Hmph!
(Stella left Stolas, just as Octavia came in.)
Octavia: Dad, what was that all about?
Stolas: Nothing, honey.
Octavia: You sure? Sounded like you and Mum had a fit in here.
Stolas: It's nothing, honey.
(Back in the board room, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona re-entered.)
Millie: So you're done with your call?
Blitzø: Yeah.
Moxxie: So what now?
Blitzø: Suit up.
(Blitzø opened and puts on his sunglasses, just as the song "Without Me" played.)
Blitzø: This is going to get messy.
(Moxxie, Millie, and Loona smiled with determined looks. We then are shown a montage of the crew getting ready and setting up their gear, including: Blitzø adjusting his uniform by tightening his charm, Moxxie flipping two pistols, Millie wielding her battleaxe, and Loona closing the grimoire that activated a portal to the human world.)
Blitzø: Alright. This is amazing, team! I could just cry right now!
Millie: No problem, sir!
Moxxie: We had to, sir.
Loona: Yep, Blitzø.
Blitzø: Before we go...
(Blitzø puts his hand out. The song then fades out.)
Blitzø: ...how about we just do one of those teamwork thingies or whatever the fuck?
(Millie puts her hand on top of Blitzø.)
Moxxie: I don't see why not.
(Moxxie puts his hand on top of Millie. Millie giggled.)
Blitzø: And we especially can't forget you, Loony.
(Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie looked at Loona.)
Loona: Fine. Count me in.
(Loona puts her hand on Moxxie.)
Blitzø: Okay. No matter what happens, we stick together. Got it?
All except Blitzø: Got it!
Blitzø: Alright. All for one...
All: And one for all!
(The four jumped into the portal before we cut to black.)
== Part 3==
(In Washington D.C., an FBI meeting is taking place inside the J. Edgar Hoover Building. Agents Clark Davis, Ryan Terry, Henry McDonald, Jamie Lickers, Sue Baker, Stanley Lee, and Manny Anderson took their seats.)
Clark: One week ago, the FBI's most wanted terrorist Dicker Francis, otherwise known as "El Dicko", has escaped the United States Penitentiary in Florence, Colorado. What do we know?
Sue: Well, data readings sent to us by the CIA suggest he is planning something more sinister than we think.
Clark: Like what?
Sue: Based on audio recordings from their satellites, they confirmed he will be assassinating President Harvey during his speech in the New York City Hall in two days time.
Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sue, did you just say he'll assassinate President Harvey in two days?
Sue: Affirmative.
Manny: That son of a bitch is gonna get karma for that.
Henry: Well, what are we gonna do? If he kills Harvey, that's it. No more America.
Stanley: That's not necessarily true, Henry. We could still get the Vice President to fill for him.
Jamie: That or we can talk him out of it.
Henry: Jamie, you know convincing that son of a bitch to not do it is gonna make him want to do it more, right?
Jamie: Atleast I have a good personality, you dick!
(Jamie got up from her seat.)
Sue: Whoa, hey, Jamie! Get back to your seat!
Clark: Folks, don't get temped here. We could still figure out a plan to prevent El Dicko from commencing his plan.
Jamie: Like what? Shooting him?
Stanley: Well, Jamie, it could be a brilliant plan when you think about it.
Jamie: Don't even side with him.
Clark: We can't shoot him directly because he could be hidden somewhere in the city hall. We'll contact the New York Police Department, maybe the Mayor, and we'll have them do a security scan of every person attending the speech.
Stanley: But how would we know which is which? You know there'll be a shitload of people there.
Clark: We'll show them a picture of El Dicko and ask them if they've seen someone that looks like this person.
Henry: And if they don't?
Clark: Then we'll have to keep searching. Either he kills the president or we kill him. Simple.
Ryan: You do know we are trying to capture one of the most feared people in the world, right?
Clark: Yeah. And what about it?
Ryan: He's got bodyguards everywhere! There's almost no warning if he'll kill us or not.
Stanley: Oh, suck a dick, Ryan. You haven't done anything like this since you joined us two weeks ago.
Ryan: Hey, at least I'm innocent!
Clark: Boys, let's not point fingers. We are the FBI, and our job is to protect and serve the United States of America.
Manny: So how much we gotta gear up?
Clark: We'll pack a few guns, call in some units for any backup just in case, and we'll head to New York tomorrow. A day before Harvey gives his speech.
Jamie: Oh gosh. Guys, President Harvey just left D.C. He's on his way to New York now.
Clark: Well, why are we wasting time here? Pack up! Tell your wife and kids goodbye, and meet at Joint Base Andrews at six o'clock. I'll see you there.
(Clark left the meeting room.)
Henry: So we're going?
Jamie: Yeah. See you at the air base.
(Everyone else got out their seats and left the room. Meanwhile, a portal forms in an alleyway. I.M.P. come out of it.)
Blitzø: Well, here we are, gang. New York City!
Loona: This place looks like a dumpster.
Blitzø: And that's the best part, Loona.
Loona: Whatever, da- Blitzø.
(Loona transforms into her human disguise.)
Loona: You guys are gonna need human disguises like me.
Blitzø: We've got that covered.
(The gang captures three random people and kills them. They undress them and put on their outfits.)
Millie: Alright! You look cute, Mox.
Moxxie: You too, Millie.
Blitzø: Good job, gang! Let's find El Dicko!
(As they leave the alleyway, the song "Welcome to New York" plays, as we get a glimpse of New York City in its daily routine. The I.M.P. gang walk down the pier.)
Blitzø: You know what? Maybe I was wrong. The city looks nice to visit every once in a while.
Moxxie: Maybe Millie and I will have our next date here?
Millie: Oh, I'd like that!
Blitzø: Maybe once this is over, we'll take a small trip here. How about that?
Millie: Ooh, now that's better.
(They accidentally bump into a man.)
Citizen: Hey! Go back to Jersey, ya freaks!
Blitzø: "Jersey?"
(Moxxie picked up a map.)
Moxxie: I think he's talking about this state called New Jersey over there.
(Moxxie pointed to Jersey City just across the Hudson River.)
Blitzø: Why that city?
Moxxie: I think they dislike Jersey, from what I heard.
(Loona began scenting something.)
Loona: Quiet, guys.
(She bent over to the ground and began sniffing the sidewalk.)
Loona: I think I've got a target. Follow me.
(Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie followed Loona, as the song faded out. Unbeknownst to them that Hernando watched them from behind.)
Hernando: Hmm... red skin people with dog-like abilities. El Dicko would like this.
(Hernando contacted El Dicko with his phone.)
El Dicko: What?
Hernando: Dicker, I've got some pictures I want to show you.
(Fade to El Dicko's hideout.)
Hernando: Sir, I'm back.
El Dicko: Welcome back. You told me you got pictures you wanted to show me?
Hernando: Yep. Here they are.
(Hernando dropped three pictures of the I.M.P. gang on the table. El Dicko examined them closely.)
El Dicko: Anymore information on these entities?
Hernando: Negative.
El Dicko: This is interesting. We've got demons in our world. 
Hernando: You think so. 
El Dicko: Yeah. Why do you think they look like that? 
(El Dicko looked at three chambers.)
El Dicko: Well, Hernando, hire a person to hunt them down. And tell them not to rest until they're captured. I have something in mind for them.
Hernando: Yes, boss!
(Hernando saluted and left.)
El Dicko: Run as fast as you can, red-skinned humans. But you can't hide from El Dicko.
(El Dicko laughed maniacally. Fade back to the I.M.P. gang walking around the city. They meet citizens Vivienne and Gabe.)
Vivienne: Oh my god, have you heard the news?
Gabe: Yeah. I might be paranoid now that Dicko is out there somewhere. Who knows what he'll do?
Blitzø: Hey, guys.
Vivienne: Whoa!
Gabe: Holy shit, you guys. What happened to you?
Blitzø: Uhh... Sunburn! 
Gabe: Oh. Sorry to hear about that.
Blitzø: That's okay. Now can you explain to us more about this "El Dicko" guy?
Millie: Yep. We're trying to assassinate him.
(Vivienne and Gabe look at each other and they burst out laughing.)
Vivienne: What dumb fucking humans! Like you guys know how to kill a terrorist!
Loona: Hey, it's not funny!
Vivienne: Oh no! That goth girl is going to attack us!
(Loona's anger got the better of her. She took Millie's axe and wielded it next to Vivienne, shocking her and Gabe.)
Loona: Say that again. I dare you.
(Vivienne and Gabe didn't say anything.)
Loona: That's what I thought.
(Loona gave Millie her axe back.)
Moxxie: So now with that out of the way, can you explain more details about Dicko, please?
Vivienne: Okay, okay. We'll tell you. As long as that girl doesn't do that again.
(Vivienne and Gabe got up.)
Gabe: The thing about El Dicko is... terrible.
Vivienne: Yeah, what he said. We were witnesses.
Moxxie: Wait just a second there! You were witnesses of El Dicko?
Vivienne: Yep.
Moxxie: That's perfect! Tell us whatever you can remember about Dicko so that we can make sure when we comes by, we'll catch him.
(Fade to a flashback, where El Dicko, around his mid 30s, was seen commiting vile crimes, which include: shoving a crowbar up a man's head, setting someone on fire, detonating a bomb at a public place, and even "making love" with someone.)
Vivienne: Back then, he was the most feared man on the planet. Killing innocent civilians, blowing up places, and even having sexual intercourses with people without their consent. Oh, how they screamed. He was a living nightmare. Even worse than Jeffrey Dahmer.
(Then we are shown a woman in the dark night, walking down the sidewalk. She is then startled by a whooshing sound. And when the sound got closer, it was El Dicko, who stabbed her in the head.)
Gabe: He even killed my friend's mother.
Vivienne: But it all finally came to an end when the police finally captured him when he tried to commit a mass shooting. However, that didn't last either, as now... we all know what happened.
(The flashback ends.)
Vivienne: And that's how it all happened. Any questions?
Blitzø: So El Dicko ***** people?
Gabe: That's correct! Man, those poor people. They might not get it out of their heads!
Blitzø: Wow, he is such a douchebag.
Gabe: No lie there.
Millie: I told ya. We'll have our asses kicked immediately.
Gabe: And that's why he's one of the most feared people on the planet. We just can't win!
Blitzø: I'll have you know that once we get that c--ksucker, you'll be shaking hands with us.
Vivienne: Good luck with that.
Blitzø: Yeah, yeah. Thanks for all your help!
Gabe: So long!
(The I.M.P. gang was already gone.)
Vivienne: Oh, you poor souls...
(A quick moment of silence filled the air.)
Gabe: Say, don't they look familiar to what we're making?
Vivienne: Yeah, they do.
==Part 4==
(Back in D.C., the FBI agents met at Joint Base Andrews.)
Clark: We got everyone?
All: We're here.
Clark: Good. Get on. We're leaving now. No exceptions.
(The rest of the FBI agents got on.)
Clark: Sue, pinpoint the location of El Dicko.
Sue: Yes, sir.
Clark: Henry, make sure the weapons are locked and loaded.
Henry: Aye aye, sir.
Clark: And Ryan... don't fuck this up. We can't afford having to lose a member of the FBI again.
Ryan: Yes, sir. I know.
(The plane took off.)
Jamie: Sir, we've got bigger news.
Clark: What is it?
Jamie: Red-skinned entities with a goth girl have been spotted throughout New York.
Stanley: You don't think they're demons, do you?
Jamie: They can't be demons.
Henry: Then what do you think they are, eh?
Jamie: Probably sun-burned humans with horns?
Henry: There you go. That's the perfect definition of a demon.
Manny: I'm siding with Henry here. Demons are like that.
Henry: There. That's what I'm talking about, bitch!
(Manny and Henry high-fived.)
Jamie: You don't know if they could be something else.
Clark: Well, if that's the case, Sue, tell the New York Police Department to be on high-alert. We don't know what problems they could cause to our world.
Sue: Yes, sir.
(Cut to a shot of the plane flying above the clouds. Meanwhile, back in New York, the I.M.P. gang were walking down the street.)
Loona: Goddamn it. I'm bored.
Blitzø: Why don't you go take pictures on your phone, sweetie?
Loona: Exactly. There's not a lot of stuff to take pictures of other than these big buildings.
Millie: Ehh, I have no problem.
Loona: That's because you haven't came here before.
Millie: Neither did you!
Moxxie: Hey, don't cause a riot now, girls. Argue later.
Blitzø: Guys, what are you doing? People are looking at us!
(Bystanders looked at the gang.)
Moxxie: Ah ha. Nothing to see here, folks. Good day!
Bystander: They don't look like they're from around here at all.
(Then, a Mexican man named Juan appeared.)
Juan: Hello, mi amigos! You look famished.
Blitzø: Yeah, yeah, whatever. What do you want, bitch?
Juan: Nothing. I thought I'd invite you to the bar just over there!
(Swoosh to the exterior of a bar named "New York's Margarita Frenzy!")
Blitzø: Mmm... How do we know we can trust you?
Juan: Drinks are on me!
Blitzø: Eh, sure. I don't see why not. But we're keeping a keen eye. So no fuck-shit on my watch.
Juan: Of course! Of course! Nothing entirely too suspicious!
(Juan chuckled.)
Loona: Doesn't sound trusty at all.
(The song "Live Your Life" began playing as the gang and Juan walked into the bar.)
Blitzø: Holy shit!
(The bar was filled with bright lights, a game of pool with three players, strippers, and a chugging game. For the chugging game, a group of people chanted one person to chug down an entire mug of beer. Unfortunately for that person, he vomits on the table and on another person.)
Blitzø: Now that's what I'm talking about!
(The camera slid over to Millie and Moxxie.)
Moxxie: You know, Millie? This place reminds me of the time we first met.
Millie: I know. Oh, how the times were back then.
(The camera orbited them for a quick four seconds until we cross transition to a pub called “Fred’s Alcohol Tavern,” where we are shown Moxxie in his early 20s with his friends from high school. One of his friends, Hugo, noticed his gloomy expression.)
Hugo: (flashback) Hey, Moxx, you still looking for a partner? It’s been a while since you’ve dated someone, like two-ish years ago?
Moxxie: (flashback) Well, Hugo, I don’t need someone right now. By the way, Chaz broke my heart and I still need some time to recover...
Hugo: (flashback) Yeah, I could see that. Oh well, let's not worry about that. Let's have the best night of our lives!
(Meanwhile, Millie, also in her early 20s, was seen gulping down six tequilas while her friends cheer her on, giving her more drinks than she can handle. She felt woozy and threw up on her side but continued to drink more tequila. Her friends Brenda and Lily were impressed.)
Lily: (flashback) Wow, Mills! I can’t believe you can handle that much tequila! You’re trying to forget about Chaz and his stuck-up ass, are ya?
Millie: (flashback) Yeah Brenda. He was a good-for-nothing *hiccup* bastard that cheated on me with a local drug dealer. But I’m fine now and I don’t need a moocher like him in my life.
Brenda: (flashback) Yep. Such a douchebag.
Millie: (flashback) And that's why I consider you two my "good friends," Brenda and Lily.
Lily: (flashback) Hey, girls! Check this out!
(Lily winked at Hugo, wondering if she's gonna catch her attention.)
Hugo: (flashback) Hey, Moxx! We got some bitches lookin' at us!
(Hugo smiled at Lily and gave her the two-finger salute. Lily and Brenda giggled.)
Hugo: (flashback) Come on, Moxx! Try it out!
Moxxie: (flashback) Not in the mood for mating today, Hugo. Maybe next time.
(Back with Millie, Brenda, and Lily...)
Lily: (flashback) Wonder what's up with the other guy.
Brenda: (flashback) Eh. Don't worry about him.
(Then bursting out of the front door, a demon with a slicked-back pompadour, a fake golden tooth, a black leathered jacket with golden embroidery, and some jet black shades walked up to the counter and demanded alcohol from the bartender. A minute passed and the guy, who calls himself “Daryl”, started gulping down drinks left and right; when he was done, he walked up to Millie and said...)
Daryl: (flashback) Hey, beautiful. Where have you been all my life?
Millie: (flashback) What do you *hiccup* want?
Daryl: (flashback) What do I want? I want you and me together, dancing the night away. So what do you say? You want a piece of Daryl tonight, babe?
Millie: (flashback) Actually, there is one thing. Do me a favor and shove...
(Millie flipped Daryl with the middle finger.)
Millie: (flashback) ...this up your tiny little asshole.
Daryl: (flashback) Ooh... refusin', are ya? Know that I kindly don't take those who decline.
(As Daryl kept persisting Millie to come to his place, she started to get scared and worried. She tried looking for her friends but they went to the restroom to throw up an entire ocean of alcohol and bile.)
Millie: (flashback) Oh shit...
(Back with Moxxie, he drank his virgin margarita, swirling the straw with boredom while Hugo and the others went to the bathroom to also throw up. Moxxie scrolled through Sinstagram on his phone until he spots Daryl putting his arm around Millie, who looked around for her friends with panic in her eyes. Moxxie understood what she wanted: she wanted help and wanted to get away from this random guy that sat next to her. So Moxxie did the right thing. He put down his virgin margarita, got up, and walked toward Daryl and Millie.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Excuse me sir, but do you, by any means, know this young lady?
Daryl: (flashback) None of your business, little dude.
(Moxxie looked at Millie, who had desperate help in her eyes. It looked like she was about to whimper and cry. So Moxxie did what he had to do. He punched Daryl right in the face, letting Daryl hit his head on the counter, and falling out of the chair. Moxxie looked at Millie.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Are you okay, ma’am?
(Millie’s eyes shone and her cheeks warmed. Daryl got up angrily.)
Daryl: (flashback) Listen here, bitch. I don’t know who you are, but you gotta back off. You don’t want to mess with me. I run with gangs and you run... What? A pathetic homework club at school? That’s your last warning before I’m gonna beat you into a fucking pulp. You understand, pardner?
(A hazardous feeling went through the atmosphere as Daryl finished his whole spiel. Moxxie rolled his eyes.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Are you done with your little edgy backstory, “pardner?"
(Meanwhile, Hugo, Brenda, and Lily came back.)
Lily: (flashback) Whoa. What the hell?
Hugo: (flashback) Uhh, Moxxie, I think it's about time we hit the road.
Moxxie: (flashback) No. I got this.
(Moxxie kicked him in the chest. Daryl groaned and snapped his fingers, summoning four demons with shades and suits, grabbing Moxxie by the arms and restraining him so he couldn’t hit Daryl. He got up and crossed his arms with a dirty expression on his face.)
Daryl: (flashback) I told you not to mess with me, you little shit.
(Daryl punches Moxxie’s face and threw him to the ground. Everyone in the bar was shocked.)
Brenda: (flashback) Oh my god!
(Moxxie, who was nearing death, remembered some familiar demon’s words.)
Unknown: (flashback) Listen, Moxxie. If you’re in a situation where you are restrained or being pinned down, not like in a kinky way if you know what I mean, you have to do a move called “S.I.N.G”, which is a self-defense move that I use a shit ton of times.
(The memory faded away and Moxxie knew what to do.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Roger that, Blitzø.
(Moxxie elbowed the two demon’s solar plexus; which is located in their stomach area, then stepped on their feet, punched their noses, and kicked their groins.)
Bartender: (flashback) Everyone out of the bar!
(Everyone ran out of the tavern and suddenly, everybody, including Moxxie, started a shoot-out. Moxxie shot the demons swiftly and shielded himself from Daryl, who hid behind the counter while trying to shoot Moxxie with an AK-47. Fortunately, Moxxie, having a keen eye, jumped from table to table and took the gun from Daryl’s hands before shooting him in the head.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Who's laughing now, bitch?
(Moxxie dropped the gun and leaped over the counter, heading towards Millie. He took off his jacket and puts it over Millie.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Uhh, sorry for the inconvenience ma’am-
Millie: (flashback) Call me Millie.
Moxxie: (flashback) I-uh... AHEM. Might as well call me Moxxie.
(He bowed to Millie and held out his hand.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Want to dance, Miss. Millie?
Millie: (flashback) Of course, Mr. Moxxie.
(The song "Until I Found You" began playing as Moxxie and Millie began dancing with dead bodies on the floor. When they began to share their first kiss, the flashback was long interrupted by Blitzø snapping his fingers and revealing that Moxxie was about to kiss his wine bottle.)
Blitzø: Moxxie!
Moxxie: Uh!
(Moxxie finds out he was about to kiss his wine, which made Loona snigger a bit.)
Millie: Still remembering the time we met, Mox?
Moxxie: Yeah. *to himself* Oh shit, that was embarassing.
Blitzø: Well, cut it out with the old times, Mox. I have a feeling this is a trick.
Moxxie: What do you mean?
Blitzø: Come on. Strippers? Alcohol? Those are the perfect distractions for someone! So come on. Ditch this. We are getting out of here.
(Blitzø took Moxxie by the tie.)
Juan: Alright. I got them. They're right here, amigo. And- SHIT!
(The seats the I.M.P. gang took were empty. It was revealed they hid in the janitor's closet.)
Loona: Get your face out of my waist!
Moxxie: Hey, my face? What the- Get your waist out of my face!
Blitzø: Stay quiet, you guys. He's coming.
(Coming inside the bar was El Dicko himself, with Hernando. Dicko looked around the bar as everyone hid under the tables.)
El Dicko: What is this, man? You told me you had them!
Juan: But I did! They were right here!
El Dicko: Oh, so now you're lying to me, are you?
Juan: No, I'm not! I swear, I told them to sit here!
El Dicko: What part of, "I want those red-skinned and goth-looking humans dead. And if you see them, come and get me. And if I find out that you didn't come and get me or just couldn't find them at all, I'll fucking kill your asses," did you not understand, Juan?
Juan: Well, we all mistakes sometimes, don't you agree? And when we do, we're given a second change, right?
(El Dicko sighed.)
El Dicko: You know what? It's okay. I'm sorry I got over my temper, Juan. How about we just go get some drinks and call it a day, ah? Come here...
(El Dicko quickly took out his M1911 and shoots Juan in the head, with blood splattering on the camera.)
Bystander #1: No way, Jose!
El Dicko: Yes way! Jose's fucking dead, yo.
(El Dicko took Moxxie's drink and gulped it down.)
Blitzø: Oh no!
(El Dicko throws the drink on another man's crotch.)
Bystander #2: Aye! Right in my freaking balls!
El Dicko: Now don't tell anyone I was ever here or else I will kill you in your sleep. Capeesh?
Blitzø: Go, go, go!
(El Dicko spotted I.M.P.)
El Dicko: Hey! There you are!
Blitzø: Shit. Come on!
(The four ran through the kitchen.)
Chef: Watch out, possum!
Moxxie: I am not a possum!
(Then they reached the alleyway.)
Millie: Fuck! We're trapped!
(Blitzø spotted a 1996 Chevrolet Express.)
Blitzø: Not really.
(Blitzø grabbed the keys that were outside and got in. Inside, it was already full of guns, ammo, and [for whatever reason] a gasoline barrel. They got out of their human disguises.)
Blitzø: Ah, crap! Start, you piece of shit!
(Blitzø struggled to get the van working.)
Millie: They're coming!
Blitzø: I know, Mills! I just gotta-
(Finally, the van started its engine.)
Blitzø: Aha! Yes!
(Blitzø slammed the gas pedal and drove off.)
Blitzø: Hasta la vista, motherfuckers!
(The van then turned left onto West Street.)
El Dicko: After them!
(El Dicko and Hernando got into their 2013 Cadillac ATS and chased after Blitzø and the gang. Blitzø drove the van quickly.)
Moxxie: Holy shit, we almost got caught.
Loona: Thanks, Captain Obvious! Now they're chasing after us! Look!
(Loona opened the rear doors to show El Dicko and Hernando chasing them in the Cadillac.)
Loona: Blitzø, we got company!
Blitzø: Oh, god. You three, get any weapon you can find!
(Loona took a Smith & Wesson Model 686, Moxxie took an RPK, and Millie took a hand grenade.)
Hernando: Get ready!
(El Dicko attempted to shoot them with his pistol, but Loona, Moxxie, and Millie dodged the bullets.)
Millie: Jeez, they're good!
(Loona and Moxxie cocked their guns.)
Loona & Moxxie: Suck on this!
(Loona and Moxxie shot their respective guns, but fail to shoot El Dicko and Hernando, and instead, shoot a couple drivers on the road and a couple civilians on the sidewalks.)
Moxxie: Blitzø, how about you just steady the car a little?
Blitzø: I'm sorry, but it's hard to stabilize a car when two people are chasing you! Agh!
(Blitzø turned left on Liberty Street.)
Blitzø: Out of the way, you bozos!
(The civilians ran out of the van's way.)
Civilian: Hey! I'm walking here!
(Meanwhile, Millie began prepping the grenade.)
Millie: So long, c--ksuckers!
(Millie throws the grenade, but because of Blitzø's swerving, it hits a car cruising down the street.)
Millie: Whoops. Sorry!
Blitzø: How the fuck do you get out of this city?!
(Then, Blitzø spots a sign pointing to the Brooklyn Bridge.)
Blitzø: Bingo! That's our ticket!
(Blitzø turned right onto the oncoming traffic side of the bridge.)
Blitzø: Oh, shit! I'm on the wrong side! Get out of the way, people!
(Oncoming cars dodged the van as the chase progressed.)
El Dicko: They're headed for the bridge!
(Hernando turned their car to the bridge. The van just passed the west tower.)
Moxxie: Wait, we're on the bridge.
(Then, Loona and Moxxie saw Millie about to throw a grenade.)
Loona & Moxxie: Millie, don't throw that grenade!
(But it was too late. Millie threw the hand grenade and it hit the roadway, causing a huge explosion. Blitzø lost control of the van.)
Blitzø: Shit! Shit! Hold on, guys!
(The rear doors closed and the van hit an oncoming car before it broke the outer fence, falling into the East River. We go into super slow-motion as the song "Can't Help Falling in Love" plays. During this sequence, the gasoline barrel opens and splatters gasoline all over Moxxie! Next, the axe Millie had hits her in the head, giving her a slight concussion. Then, a grenade pushes on the handle of a pistol, shooting Loona's phone!)
Loona: (distorted) Nooo!
(After that, Moxxie grabs ahold of the pistol and accidentally shoots Blitzø's window.)
Blitzø: (distorted) Heyyy!
(Moxxie chuckled awkwardly. Finally, a nail stabs Blitzø in the forehead. We go back to normal speed as the van splashes into the East River. El Dicko and Hernando watched from the bridge.)
El Dicko: Well, Hernando, I'd say we won't hear from them anymore.
Hernando: Heh. Totally.
(As they got off the bridge, Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona resurfaced.)
Moxxie: Well, that's something we shouldn't do again.
Millie: Agreed.
Blitzø: Whatever. Can someone please tell me that fancy book is still in tact?
Loona: You mean, our only ticket back home? Yeah. Got it.
(Loona lifted the grimoire from under the water.)
Blitzø: Oh, thank Satan. It would be terrible if we lost it.
(Blitzø climbed up the edge of a boardwalk and lifted Moxxie, Millie, and Loona out of the East River. Loona shook to remove the water off.)
Millie: Well, there goes our stuff.
Blitzø: Don't worry, Mills, we'll find a gun shop on the way back.
(Moxxie looked up to see smoke rising from the Brooklyn Bridge.)
Moxxie: Ah, shit.
Blitzø: What?
Moxxie: We might have caused some damage to human property.
Blitzø: Well, who cares? It's their problem now.
Moxxie: Sir, you can't blame this on someone else. You have to take responsibility.
Blitzø: Not like anyone's gonna listen to a demon anyway.
Loona: He's right, TD. We're from Hell.
(They begin to walk away as they continue to their conversation.)
Moxxie: Stop calling me that.
Loona: Sorry for being right.
Moxxie: Well, how would you like it if I called you "Furry Girl"?
Loona: Nice try.
Moxxie: *to himself* Son of a bitch...
==Part 5 ==
(We cut to a news broadcast of "VNN News".)
News Anchor: Good evening. Just recently, a wild car chase took place around Lower Manhattan with a 1996 Chevrolet Express and a 2013 Cadillac ATS. Police are on the lookout for the people responsible for this, but has extended the search even more when it started at the local New York's Margarita Frenzy bar. CCTV cameras can only capture few pictures before the rest became mystery. We will show them to you now.
(The broadcast shows a picture of the car chase. The camera zooms into El Dicko in the passenger seat of the Cadillac.)
News Anchor: As you can see, one of the people responsible inside the Cadillac resembles none other than the FBI's most wanted terrorist Dicker "El Dicko" Francis, who had escaped from ADX Florence just a week ago. It is unknown if this is truly him or not, but citizens are advised to remain vigilant.
(The camera then moves toward Blitzø driving the Chevrolet.)
News Anchor: Meanwhile, other pictures show what could be three red-skinned humanoids with horns on their heads and what appears to be a wolf in goth clothing. The New York City Police Department is also investigating this humanoid figure, so citizens are also advised to be on the lookout for these entities.
(Zoom out to reveal that the news is being broadcast on the TV in the FBI's plane. Sue had already took a picture of El Dicko in the broadcast and scans it through an identifier.)
Sue: Oh shit!
Henry: What?
Sue: That's El Dicko! In the picture! And those so-called "demons" we heard about.
Stanley: Well, folks, looks like the shift's been extended, isn't it?
Clark: Jamie, how much 'til we reach New York?
Jamie: About 10 minutes, sir.
Clark: Henry, get the guns ready. We're almost there.
Henry: Alright.
(Henry inserted mags into the guns and grenades in bags.)
Henry: Locked and loaded.
Clark: Thank you. Ryan, as being the newest member on our team, watch how we do it.
Ryan: Yes, I know what to do, sir. I took FBI training already. I'm not retarded, you dumbass.
Clark: But still...
(Ding!)
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to touch down at LaGuardia Airport. Please take your seats immediately. Thank you.
Clark: Well, we're almost there.
(Clark took a seat and buckled his seatbelt as the plane reached New York City. We then cut to various TV programs, where celebrities and talk hosts appear.)
Talk Show Host #1: Now, I know this is a bit sensitive to talk about, but I feel this is a code "red" alert. Get it?
(The audience laughs.)
Guest: You could say that again. They look like demons to me.
(Cut to The Ellen DeGeneres Show.)
Ellen DeGeneres: How many bucks would you say that these red-skinned humanoids are demons?
Ryan Reynolds: A lot. Look at the horns! They look like something a demon would have.
(Then cut to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.)
Jimmy Fallon: David, look at this. You cannot tell me they don't look demonic.
David Tennant: Oh yeah, that's for sure. I mean, they can't look sunburnt or anything. They still have white patches!
(Finally, we cut to Jimmy Kimmel Live!)
Chris Pratt: So many people have said they are demons, and I would say I agree.
Jimmy Kimmel: Oh, is that so? Everybody, we've got a supporter!
(Cut back to the I.M.P. gang walking down the street in Brooklyn. While Blitzø and Loona were thinking about another way to assassinate El Dicko, Millie and Moxxie went and came back to the duo with four hotdogs and a pretzel.)
Millie: Eat up everyone! You can't kill anyone on an empty stomach.
Blitzø: Thanks Mills...wait, where did you get money? And did the person that gave you the food even notice you were a fucking demon?
Millie: I found a whole stack in my pant pocket, I guess that woman was a real hard worker, or a gold-digger whore.. And to answer your second question, they said I was a good cosplayer or something like that.
Moxxie: Well don't think about it too much, let's just find a place to sit and eat our...dick in an ass? 
(Blitzø, Loona, and Millie look at Moxxie with concern and disgust.)
Moxxie: Hey it's not my fault, don't you see it too?
(They all look at each other and nod. And they found a bench and ate their hotdogs and broke up the pretzel into four pieces.)
Blitzø: That was honeslty such a good dick in an ass, I might want more later if we still have enough money.
Loona: What the fuck Blitzø? Actually it was kind of good.
Blitzø: Exactly. Now get your asses up; we've got a douche to kill! After I make a phone call with Stolas.
(Blitzø dials Stolas. Stolas was lounging on Blitzø's chair.)
Stolas: Hi Blitzø! So how's your time killing El Dicko?
Blitzø: Well, we kinda got FUCKED by him. He exploded our car and all of our weapons are in the FUCKING RIVER. So yea, that's how we're doing. How's the office? Doing well?
Stolas: Oh yes Blitzø, the office is doing very well. The crowd that wanted El Dicko killed totally calmed down and went home.
(Stolas looks at the door, while an angry mob pounces on it.)
Stolas: Mhm...yep.. very calm.
Blitzø: Well alright, is Octavia with you? I needed more assistance with some duties around the office.
(Stolas looks at Octavia, pushing on the door to block the angry mob outside of the office.)
Stolas: Yeah she's doing great. 
(Stolas puts down the phone.)
Stolas: How are you my starfire?
(Octavia looks at Stolas, and gives him a death glare.)
Octavia: I should've stayed home today...
(Stolas smiles, and goes back to the conversation with Blitzø.)
Stolas: So besides your weapons plummetting into the river and losing your vehicle, how was the trip?
Blitzø: Well we did eat some really good food, it was like a dick surrounded by an ass. And some doughy thing covered with a lot of salty shit, it was really good.
Stolas: Wow..seems like you had a fun time.
(A loud crash shakes the office room.)
Blitzø: STOLAS, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! ARE YOU WRECKING MY FUCKING OFFICE?
Stolas: Uhhhh TA-TA BLITZY HAHAHA, LOVE YOU MWAH MWA-
(Stolas hangs up)
Blitzø: That fucking owl...
(Meanwhile, back at the office...)
Stolas: Oh shit!
Marcy: Where the fuck is El Dicko?!
Tracy: You said he shall be here now! And now he isn't! So where is he?
Stolas: Look, our friends in the human world are having a bit of trouble. Now if you-
Lisa: That doesn't excuse you from this tyranny!
Stolas: It's not tyranny, ma'am! It's-
James: If he doesn't come here in the next twelve hours, this office will never see the light of day again!
Stolas: Sir, if you can just stop, that would be much appreciated!
Neil: Whatever, "owl!"
Jack: Come on, guys. Let's get the fuck outta here. He's no use for us at this point.
Carrie: Agreed. Dickhead.
(Lisa gave a raspberry to Stolas and flipped him off before everyone left the room.)
Octavia: What did Blitzø do to have this shit-ton of people?
Stolas: Long story, sweetie.
Octavia: Well, it's all over the place! Tell him to do better next time, so that we don't get bozos like them busting in again!
Stolas: Will do.
==Part 6==
(Fade to El Dicko's hideout. El Dicko was drinking some whiskey as Hernando approached him.)
Hernando: Boss, you ain't gonna like this.
(Hernando showed El Dicko CCTV footage of the I.M.P. gang in Brooklyn.)
El Dicko: What?!
Hernando: Yes, I know it's hard to believe that, but-
El Dicko: Silence!
Hernando: Yes, boss.
(El Dicko threw his whiskey to the ground, shattering it.)
El Dicko: Damn it, these demons are as tough as we are. We are going to need lure-ins.
Hernando: What do you mean by that?
El Dicko: You know... distractions?!
Hernando: Ohhh... right.
El Dicko: (to himself) My god, you're so retarded.
Hernando: I heard that!
El Dicko: Did it sound like I asked?
Hernando: True that.
El Dicko: Enough chit-chat, Hernando. Hire people. Tell them their goals. Get those demons to our lair.
Hernando: Yes, boss!
(Hernando left the warehouse.)
El Dicko: Nice try, Devils. But soon, you'll lose the game this time.
(Fade to the I.M.P. gang entering City Point BKLYN. They were all [excluding Loona] in new human disguises.)
Moxxie: Why are we here, sir?
Blitzø: You can't kill someone without some gadgets. I bet this place has stuff we can use to combat.
Millie: It's been awhile since we've been to a place like this, right, boss?
Blitzø: Right, Mills. This place is bringing back old memories.
Loona: Damn, you guys get the good stuff and I just stay in one spot.
Blitzø: Because you know how much I care for you, Loony.
Loona: Stop calling me that, Blitzø.
Blitzø: Right, Loony!
(Loona sighed. Then begin a montage where the four looked through the shops for any weapons they could find. From restaurants to stores to trash cans, they were all looking desperately. Until we cut to them leaving the mall.)
Blitzø: Well, sounds like this place didn't have the stuff we needed. Guess we'll go check out other places.
(Fade to an unnamed park.)
Moxxie: Why here, sir?
Blitzø: Chill, Moxxie. Some people probably left their guns here.
(Then, Loona spotted an emo-looking teenage boy drinking a water bottle. Loona watched him as the boy threw his water bottle to the ground and walked away.)
Loona: Wait!
(The boy turned and saw Loona.)
Boy: Can I help you?
Loona: Umm... Can I ask what your name is?
Boy: Why do you want my name?
Loona: Thought I'd just... well... you know, get to know more people a bit better. Heh-heh.
(The boy smiled.)
Brad: Well, why didn't you say something? Brad's the name, what's yours?
Loona: Loona.
Brad: Why, isn't that a lovely name, Loona?
Loona: Why, yes. I thought I'd-
Blitzø: What is going on here?
(Swoosh to Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie walking towards Loona and Brad.)
Blitzø: Loona, who the hell is this bitch-boy?
Loona: He's not a "bitch-boy," Blitzø.
Blitzø: He certainly looks like to me.
Brad: And who are you three?
Blitzø: The name's "none of your business," c-nt.
Brad: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know my attitude angers people like you.
Blitzø: Well, now you know.
Loona: Blitzø, stop.
Blitzø: Stay out of it.
(Blitzø leaned to Brad.)
Blitzø: Listen here, dipshit. If you lay even one finger on my daughter or try to do something to her, your days of living will be over. You hear me?
(There was a brief silence before Brad laughed.)
Brad: Boy, I don't know what's got into your mind, but I'll have you know I don't harrass anyone, especially that girl of yours.
Moxxie: Sir, don't start it.
Blitzø: Not now, Mox.
Brad: Anyway, you guys look a bit angry. How about a cupcake to lighten the mood?
Blitzø: We are in no mood for dessert.
Brad: But it's got choco-late.
(Brad took a platter of four chocolate-flavored cupcakes from a table.)
Brad: See? No weird stuff. Just tasty, tasty cupcakes.
(Millie grabbed a cupcake and tasted it.)
Millie: Oh my god. This cupcake's actually good. Try some, Mox.
(Millie gave once cupcake to Moxxie, who also tasted it.)
Moxxie: No way! Sir, you better try this! This is the shit!
(Blitzø and Loona tasted the cupcakes.)
Blitzø: Oh gosh. This is not that bad, actually.
Loona: Yeah. Tastes a bit off, but I'm not complaining.
(Blitzø notices white powder inside his cupcake.)
Blitzø: What is this?
(Blitzø shows Brad the powder.)
Brad: That's flour.
Blitzø: Why does it look like that?
Brad: Some mixing process. But don't worry about it. It's all part of the plan.
Blitzø: What was that?
Brad: Nothing. Enjoy your little cupcakes!
(The screen transitions through a bite-by-bite process, as the wrappers are thrown into the trash can.)
Moxxie: Now that was some good shit. Unlike that dick-in-an-ass we had earlier.
Millie: Right over there!
Blitzø: Now what was your name again?
Brad: Brad.
Blitzø: Brad. Sorry about before. I just got a bit over my temper because you look like someone who might work for a terrorist.
Brad: Me? Work for a terrorist? That's the stupidest bullshit I have ever heard.
Blitzø: I know. Sorry about that.
Brad: Eh, it's all good.
(Brad looks at his watch.)
Brad: Oh crap! I'm late! Nice meeting you all! Bye-bye now!
I.M.P.: See you...
(Brad was already gone.)
Blitzø: Well, that was a bit weird, but okay.
Moxxie: Uhh, sir?
Blitzø: What?
Moxxie: Remember those cupcakes that guy gave us earlier?
Blitzø: Yeah, why?
Moxxie: I'm getting a headache from it.
Millie: Me too.
Loona: Me three.
(Then, Blitzø realizes that the "white powder" in the cupcake was phenylcyclohexyl piperidine, AKA: angel dust.)
Blitzø: Oh, fuck!
Moxxie: What?
Blitzø: I think I know what was in those cupcakes!
Millie: What was it?
Blitzø: It was angel dust!
Millie: Like the p*** star?
Blitzø: No, not the p*** star! The drug!
Loona: So you're saying we got drugged by Brad?
Blitzø: Seems so!
Moxxie: Oh, shit.
Millie: Guys, I'm seeing stuff!
Loona: Oh, me too!
(The four's pupils begin enlarging and we are then shown a colorful/candy world from their perspective. The song "The Candy Man" is playing.)
Blitzø: Holyyy shiiiiit!
Candy:
Alright, everybody! Gather 'round!
The Candy Man is here
What kind of candy do you want?
Sweet chocolate? Chocolate walnut candy?
Gum drops? Anything you want
You've come to the right man because
I'm the Candy Man!
(The I.M.P. gang slide next to two pieces of candy dancing.)
All:
Who can take a sunrise?
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate
And a miracle or two
The Candy Man
The Candy Man can
The Candy Man can cause
He mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
(Cut to the real world, where Hernando was eyeing the I.M.P. gang dancing while being high on angel dust.)
Hernando: Perfect.
(Cut back to the candy world.)
The Candy Man makes everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious
Talk about your childhood wishes
You can even eat the dishes
(Two pieces of candy slide across the screen, where we transition to the I.M.P. gang on a hill.)
Blitzø: Ha! Look at this! I got gummy worms for hands!
Millie: Really?! Give me 'em!
(Millie tries to grab onto Blitzø, but Moxxie and Loona hold her back.)
Loona: Easy, hot stuff! You can get your own later.
Millie: But I want 'em!
Blitzø: Get your own gummy worms, you w****!
(Millie gasps.)
Millie: You take that back!
Blitzø: Sorry, but it's true.
(Millie begins to attack Blitzø, with Moxxie and Loona trying to keep her away.)
Moxxie: Honey, stop! That's our boss!
Loona: And my dad!
(The camera pans out as Millie, being held away by Moxxie and Loona, attempts to attack Blitzø, as pieces of candy continue roaming around the colored world. Cut to black.)
==Part 7==
(We begin this part from Blitzø's POV. He has blurred vision as he awakens from the ground. He sees a cockroach walking near him before it runs away. He tries to get himself up, but is already weak from the trip.)
Blitzø: What the fuck happened to us?
(Then, Blitzø lifts his right hand and sees a used condom sticking on the hand.)
Blitzø: Oh, oh my god! Get it off me!
(Cut outside of Blitzø's POV, as he tries to get the condom off his hand. Moxxie wakes up from Blitzø's cries.)
Moxxie: Sir, can you keep it down just a little bit please?
(Moxxie puts his hand on his forehead.)
Moxxie: Oh, crumbs. What the hell was that?
(Millie and Loona then woke up, just as Blitzø got the condom off.)
Blitzø: Loona! What were you thinking?
Loona: What are you talking about?
Blitzø: That "Brad" guy! Why would you interact with him?
Loona: He seemed like a pretty nice guy!
Moxxie: I honestly agree with her, boss.
Blitzø: Yeah, but what was deep inside him was much worse! What if he tried to kill you? Or took you away from us?! Or even worse... **** you?
(Moxxie and Millie gasped.)
Loona: Well, I would've been fine with it. Anything to stay away from you.
(Blitzø gasped.)
Blitzø: How dare you say that to my face?
Loona: Sorry, but it's true.
Blitzø: You know what? Maybe I made a wrong choice! I should've adopted another dog at the orphanage, and not you!
Loona: Oh, yeah? Once we're done with this stupid mission, go ahead and do that.
Blitzø: I will.
Loona: Actually, I'm backing out of this mission. Anyone else is welcome to join me.
(Loona takes out the grimoire.)
Blitzø: You wouldn't dare!
Loona: Oh, I would. And you can't stop me-
(Suddenly, a catch pole grabs onto Loona's neck and drops her into a pickup truck, revealing El Dicko and Hernando.)
Blitzø: Loona!
El Dicko: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you?
(El Dicko and Hernando then use the catch poles to grab Moxxie and Millie by their necks.)
Blitzø: Moxxie! Millie!
Moxxie: Go, Blitzø! Just go!
Millie: Get your dirty fingers off me!
(Blitzø hid behind a wall of bricks as Moxxie and Millie are then thrown into the trunk.)
Hernando: Wait! What about the other one?
El Dicko: Forget him. He's probably a pussy for running away anyway.
(Then, they notice Stolas's grimoire.)
Hernando: Hm? What's this?
(Hernando picked up the grimoire.)
El Dicko: A magical book. This is some good shit we've encountered.
(El DIcko and Hernando got inside the truck.)
El Dicko: Next stop: Manhattan!
(Blitzø peeked out the bricks and saw the truck moving away.)
Blitzø: M&M! Loona! No!
(El Dicko and Hernando drove the truck off with Moxxie, Millie, and Loona. Blitzø tries to catch up, but to no avail. He stops in the middle of the road, devastated.)
Blitzø: No... what have I done?
(A somber song titled "Without You" began playing, as it began to thunder and Blitzø dropped to his knees.)
TBA.
(Blitzø was walking down the street, cold and tired. He sees a house with a garade. Fade to a flashback, where Blitzø and Loona are introduced to Millie by Moxxie, after the bar shoot-out. They accept her as part of the newly-formed I.M.P., in a garage just like the house.)
Moxxie: (flashback) Folks, I'd like to introduce you to Millie.
(Millie presented herself next to Moxxie.)
Moxxie: (flashback) We met at a bar.
Blitzø: (flashback) Well, any friend of Moxxie is a friend of mine.
(Next, Blitzø looked at an office building in the distance. Fade to another flashback, where I.M.P. were shopping for a new headquartes in downtown Imp City. They see a building for sale, then smile afterwards. Then, Blitzø made a deal with a realtor, who accepted their deal and Blitzø gave the money to the realtor. Back to reality, Blitzø showed a faint smile.)
Blitzø: That bitch still owes me my money back.
(Then, more flashbacks show, including: I.M.P. getting their first kill in the living world, a celebration party of Moxxie and Millie getting married, and a group photo. Loona then begins to snicker at Moxxie's hairstyle, causing Moxxie to burst in anger. The photo was taken anyway, ruining it. As the flashbacks end, Blitzø looked into the sky.)
Blitzø: Loona, Moxxie, Millie, I'm so sorry...
(Blitzø goes into a fetal position, as tears come out of his eyes and rain continues pouring. Fade to black.)
== Part 8 ==
(A pair of eyes open the scene.)
Loona: Shit! Guys, are you there?
(Two pairs of eyes slide into view.)
Millie: Yeah, I'm here.
Moxxie: Me too.
Millie: Sounded harsh for you to turn your back against Blitzø, Loona.
Loona: That was his loss. I knew we had to leave.
Millie: Instead, where'd it take you? Hmm?
Loona: You don't have to tell me that, bitch. I know where this led to.
Moxxie: Forget that! Where the fuck are we?
El Dicko: (offscreen) The warehouse.
(Out of view, El Dicko takes off sandbags from Moxxie's, Millie's, and Loona's heads. The three were tied to chairs.)
Moxxie, Millie, and Loona: El Dicko?!
El Dicko: That's right. Your worst nightmare.
Moxxie: But... this makes no sense! How'd you find us so quickly?
El Dicko: By my two allies, Hernando...
Hernando: What's up, freaks?
El Dicko: ...and Brad.
(Brad mouthed his lips to say: "I'm sorry." He looked away from the three.)
El Dicko: Anyway, enough of that. What the hell are you and where did you come from?
Moxxie: Gee, you remind me a lot of those agents from that company who-
El Dicko: Answer the fucking questions!
Moxxie: You're not going to get a single word out of our mouths!
El Dicko: Oh, really? Very bold of you to say that.
(El Dicko pulled out his M1911 and aimed it at Moxxie's head. Moxxie, Millie, and Loona were surprised.)
El Dicko: Any second thoughts?
Moxxie: Whoa!
Millie & Loona: Holy shit!
Moxxie: No need for the violence, okay? We'll tell you everything!
El Dicko: That's what I thought.
(El Dicko puts his gun away.)
Millie: (whispering) Moxxie, don't do it.
Moxxie: Okay, first of all, dickhead, it's not nice to kidnap us and force us to ask you questions. And second of all, what gave you the idea to do the latter two?
El Dicko: You're not the one who gives me questions! I am! Now answer the goddamn questions or I will shoot this bullet down your throats!
(Moxxie began laughing.)
Moxxie: Jeez, you're so stupid than we thought! What do you think we look like?
El Dicko: Don't know, so answer.
Millie: We're demons, for crying out loud. Boy, you're the dumbest dumbass we've ever encountered!
Loona: Even Blitzø knows how to react in a situation than you.
El Dicko: Hernando! Get the book!
Moxxie: "The book?"
Hernando: The magic book? Why?
El Dicko: For fuck's sake, Hernando, don't ask questions! Just give it to me!
Hernando: Jesus, okay. No need to go apeshit on me.
(Hernando grabbed Stolas's grimoire and gave it to El Dicko. Moxxie, Millie, and Loona gasped.)
El Dicko: I assume this is how you came to Earth?
Millie: The book!
El Dicko: Oh, so you know this, huh? Would be a shame if...
(El Dicko took out his gun and threw the book in the air. He then shot it, destroying it. Moxxie, Millie, and Loona watched in disbelief.)
Moxxie: No... You didn't just-
Loona: You self-entitled prick. You will never get away with this.
El Dicko: *sarcastic* Oh no! I'm being threatened by weak, little demons. Whatever shall I do? *normal tone* Yeah, right, you little shits. Like you can get out of those yourselves. You're lucky I'm sparing you for now.
Millie: What do you mean "sparing us?"
El Dicko: You haven't heard? I'm about to assassinate the President of the United States.
Moxxie: You're doing what now?
El Dicko: Yep. That's right. President Ian Harvey will be doing his speech here in New York tomorrow morning, and when I kill him from the roof, people will bow to me, and Hernando and I will take over the world!
Brad: Wait, what about me?
El Dicko: Ah, Brad. Little Brad. You can do us a little favor and go fuck yourself.
Brad: But-
El Dicko: No buts. Now get the fuck out of here or else I'll shoot you with this gun.
(Brad sighed and left the room in dismay.)
Loona: For god's sake, enough threatening people with that gun! It's getting old!
El Dicko: You can't tell me what to do.
Loona: Oh, yeah. Well, Blitzø could. If he knows where we are though...
El Dicko: Actually...
(An idea popped into El Dicko's mind.)
El Dicko: Hernando, get some bamboo!
Hernando: Of course, sir.
Moxxie: Why are you getting bamboo? What are you doing to us?
El Dicko: I changed my mind. Instead of leaving you here, I'm gonna use the bamboo torture method on you.
Millie: What?
El Dicko: Bamboo grows so fast that it can penetrate anything in its path. And that is what I'm gonna do to you guys.
(Hernando finished setting up three wooden benches set above three bamboo plants.)
Hernando: Sir, the bamboo plants are ready.
(El Dicko chuckled.)
Moxxie: No! You are not going to do that!
El Dicko: Why not?
Loona: You know what will happen if you do. Blitzø will hunt your soul down!
El Dicko: Hmph. As if. Hernando, help me bring them to the benches.
(El Dicko began untying Loona. Loona tried to attack him.)
El Dicko: Easy there, girl.
(Hernando untied Moxxie and Millie. They brought them over to the benches and strapped them.)
Millie: You won't get away with this!
(El Dicko and Hernando walked away.)
El Dicko: Have fun dying, fuckers!
(El Dicko gave the middle finger to them as the three struggled to get out of the benches. Cut to black.)
== Part 9 ==
(Fade in on Blitzø, where he was seen walking down the street. It had already stopped raining. Then, he spotted an FBI mobile command center.)
Blitzø: That truck must have some stuff I could use. But I gotta stay quiet.
(Blitzø climbed into the truck through an open window. There, Clark, Ryan, Henry, Sue, Manny, Stanley, and Jamie were on the computers.)
Manny: No sign of El Dicko from here. God, he's so good.
Sue: No luck from me, either.
Clark: What could he have done to hide himself?
Manny: Don't know, but we gotta keep trying.
Henry: Yeah. He's gonna kill President Harvey tomorrow, and we certainly can't let that happen.
Clark: Of course we don't want him killed. Who the fuck wants that?
Ryan: Haters?
Jamie: Ryan's got a point there.
Stanley: I agree.
Manny: Me too.
Henry: Me three.
(Then, they heard a clattering sound.)
Stanley: What was that?
(They all turned and saw Blitzø.)
Blitzø: Uhh... hello?
(They all screamed at each other.)
Henry: Get the guns!
(The FBI agents cocked their guns at Blitzø. Blitzø surrendered.)
Ryan: We gotchu now, motherfucker!
Jamie: Who do you work for?
Sue: And how did you get in?
(Clark realized Blitzø's a demon.)
Clark: Fellas, put your guns down. I got this.
(Clark walked over to Blitzø and puts him in handcuffs.)
Blitzø: Wait.
Clark: You are under arrest for trespassing in private property and for being a demon.
Blitzø: You're arresting me because I'm a demon?
Clark: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Blitzø: Wait, just let me exp-
Clark: Do not interrupt while I give you instructions. As I was saying, you have the right to an attorney.
Blitzø: Oh, fuck this.
(Blitzø aggressively bites on Clark's neck.)
Clark: OW! What the hell?
Blitzø: You're not even gonna let me explain anything, so the only way to shut you up was by biting you! So please, just let me explain for once.
Ryan: He's right, sir. It doesn't hurt to learn a little bit of context first.
Henry: Yeah, might as well listen to him.
The rest of the agents: Mm-hmm.
(Clark thought about it for a second.)
Clark: Alright, fine. Demon, go ahead. Ears open.
Blitzø: It's Blitzø. The "o" is silent.
Ryan: And why is the "o" silent?
Blitzø: That's none of your business.
Clark: Guys, save your questions until later. Let "Blitzø" explain his story.
(Blitzø exhaled.)
Blitzø: It began around earlier this morning, when we got around nine clients that wanted a man named "El Dicko" killed. So-
Manny: Wait. You're trying to kill El Dicko?
Blitzø: Just let me finish the story first. Anyway, we used a portal to get here, New York City. He nearly killed all of us when we accidentally fell into the river just west of here. Then, we got drugged by someone we suspect to be working for Dicko. And then, he captured my employees and my daughter, sparing me, and then that pretty much brings up to date. Now I can answer your question. Yes, we are also trying to kill El Dicko, that bastard.
(A two-second silence gap filled the room.)
Blitzø: What? Is that not enough?
Stanley: No, of course it's enough! We're also trying to capture El Dicko, only that we're not going to kill him, just arrest him. But killing him is fine.
Blitzø: Oh, so we're on the same side now.
Clark: But how do we know we can trust you, given you're a demon though?
Blitzø: Do I look like I work for him?
Clark: No, but-
Blitzø: There. Question answered.
(Clark bit his lips.)
Clark: Goddamn it. Alright, fine. Welcome to the team, I guess.
(Blitzø pumped his fist, mouthing: "Yes!")
Ryan: A few questions. What does hell look like? Is it all fire and torture?
Blitzø: Not really.
Sue: Did you see Hitler or Bin Laden there?
Blitzø: I don't want to talk about that.
Henry: Is my crazy uncle there?
(Blitzø looked at Henry.)
Blitzø: Why the fuck did you ask me that?
Henry: Dunno. I felt like asking it. He was a fucking psychopath anyway.
Blitzø: You have my pity.
(Jamie gets a signal from her computer.)
Jamie: Oh, shit! Guys, I got a signal!
(The others came over to Jamie.)
Jamie: I think I've got the exact location of El Dicko.
Clark: Show us.
(The computer zoomed in to show El Dicko's body heat.)
Manny: That's him! That's him!
(Then, it showed Moxxie, Millie, and Loona's bodies.)
Blitzø: Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit!
Manny: What?
Blitzø: Those are my employees and my daughter! They're in Dicko's base!
Clark: Well, guys, get your gadgets geared. It's about time we capture the FBI's most wanted criminal. And save the demon's daughter and employees. Henry, guns.
Henry: Aye, aye!
(Henry cocked the guns.)
Clark: Check. Manny, fuel.
Manny: Fueled up, sir!
Clark: Check. Ryan, music.
Ryan: This shall fit the mood!
(Ryan puts in a cassette that played "No Sleep Till Brooklyn.")
Clark: Definitely check. Alright, guys. Let's not fuck this up. We're in this together. As a team.
The rest of the Agents and Blitzø: Yeah!
Clark: Now let's go!
(Clark started the mobile vehicle and recklessly drove off to Manhattan. It was already 6:30 a.m., nearing the time for President Harvey's speech.)
Clark: Sue, contact the President's bodyguards. They need to know what's going on.
Sue: Already on it!
(Meanwhile, in the New York City Hall, President Ian Harvey and his bodyguards were preparing the speech.)
Bodyguard #1: Hello?
Sue: Is President Harvey there?
Bodyguard #1: Yeah, but he's busy. What can I help you with?
Sue: Make sure to examine every single citizen attending the speech.
Bodyguard #1: Why?
Sue: We've got confirmation of El Dicko attempting to assassinate Harvey.
(Bodyguard #1 sees Bodyguard #2.)
Bodyguard #1: Hey, Alan.
Bodyguard #2: Yeah?
Bodyguard #1: My other bodyguard is here.
Bodyguard #2: What is it?
Sue: Make sure to put in as much security as you can because El Dicko is about to assassinate President Harvey later.
Bodyguard #2: Oh, really? Don't worry, we'll do that.
Sue: Thank you. Good luck.
(The call ends.)
Bodyguard #2: Is this a joke? El Dicko's actually going to kill Harvey?
Bodyguard #1: That's why we'll make sure just in case.
(Cut back to Blitzø and the agents arriving at the warehouse.)
Clark: C'mon, guys. El Dicko could be in here any minute now.
(Clark knocked on the warehouse door.)
Clark: FBI, open up.
(No answer.)
Clark: FBI, open up!
(Still no answer.)
Clark: Sounds like we're gonna do this the hard way.
(Then, Jamie opened a wooden door.)
Jamie: Clark, you don't have to. The door here's unlocked.
(Clark kicked down the door and everyone locked sights. There was no one there.)
Ryan: Shit. We're too late.
Jamie: You didn't have to kick the door down.
Moxxie: (distant) Help!
Manny: Did you hear that?
Millie: (distant) Can anyone hear us?!
(Blitzø realized who it is.)
Blitzø: It's them!
Sue: Who's them?
Blitzø: Are you kidding me? It's my daughter and employees!
Clark: You have any clue as to where they are?
Blitzø: No, but we gotta search.
Clark: Alright, team. Split up. We have got to find those other demons.
(Everyone split, looking for Moxxie, Millie, and Loona. Henry, Manny and Sue looked through the boxes, Clark and Blitzø looked in the control panels, and Ryan, Stanley, and Jamie looked through all the rooms.)
Clark: Any luck, you guys?
Stanley: No.
Henry: No one in here.
Blitzø: The only place we haven't checked is the basement.
(Swoosh to a door leading to the basement.)
Clark: Damn it, we always leave out the basement. Alright, everyone, we're all going in together.
(Everyone slowly walked into the door leading to the basement. Meanwhile, with Moxxie, Millie, and Loona, they struggled to break free from the ropes, as the bamboo was nearing them.)
Millie: Help!
Loona: Face it, guys. No one's coming to help us. Not even Blitzø.
Moxxie: Come on. Atleast glimmer a little bit of hope. Someone will free us, eventually.
Loona: Well, if he doesn't come in negative 3 seconds, we're telling secrets.
(Back with the agents and Blitzø, they finally reached the door leading to the room Moxxie, Millie, and Loona were in.)
Clark: You sure this is where they are.
Blitzø: Only one way to find out.
(Blitzø tried to open the door, but it was glued shut from the inside.)
Blitzø: Shit! It's stuck!
(Blitzø pounded on the door. Cut back with Moxxie, Millie, and Loona.)
Blitzø: (muffled) Loona? M&M?
Moxxie: Blitzø?
Blitzø: (muffled) Oh, thank Satan you're safe!
Loona: Dad! Oh my gosh, you're here!
Blitzø: (muffled) I know, Loony.
Moxxie: Sir, El Dicko glued the door shut! How are you going to get in?
Blitzø: Guys. Got your guns?
Henry: You know we do.
Blitzø: Good. Shoot down the doors!
(Blitzø covered his ears as the agents shot the door down. Smoke and dust ravaged. Coming out was Blitzø.)
Moxxie, Millie, and Loona: Blitzø!
Blitzø: That's right! It's me!
(Blitzø ran over to the three and untied them from the benches. After doing so, they hugged Blitzø.)
Loona: But why did you come back for us? Even after all the horrible things I said?
Blitzø: You know I never abandon my daughter/employees.
The agents: Awww...
Blitzø: Shut the fuck up! Can't you see I'm embracing my family here?
Moxxie: Oh, shit! Humans!
(Loona transformed into her human disguise quickly and Moxxie and Millie grabbed some guns from a table.)
Stanley: Jesus Christ!
Sue: Oh, fuck!
Ryan: I don't wanna die a virgin!
(Clark, Henry, Jamie, and Manny aimed their guns at Moxxie, Millie, and Loona.)
Blitzø: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys, put your guns down! We're all on the same team here!
Henry: Oh, yeah? Then why did they grab their guns and aimed at us like we're fucking monsters or something?
Blitzø: Guys, guys, there's been a mix-up here!
(Blitzø ran over to the agents.)
Blitzø: M&M, Loona, these guys are my buds. They're the reason I managed to find you in the first place.
The agents: Hey.
(And Blitzø ran over to Moxxie, Millie, and Loona.)
Blitzø: And this is Moxxie, Millie, and Loona.
Moxxie, Millie, and Loona: Hello.
Millie: Sorry for the mix-up. We thought you were here to kill us or something.
Clark: Well, that was what we were originally going to do until Blitzø here told us that you were also looking for El Dicko.
Moxxie: Whoa, whoa, wait. You guys are also looking for El Dicko?
Stanley: Yeah. However, we're not going to kill him. We're only going to arrest him.
Moxxie: Oh...
Stanley: But, sure. Kill him. That's probably better than what we're trying to do.
(Blitzø turned to Moxxie, Millie, and Loona.)
Blitzø: Anyways, since you three got captured by El Dicko, what did he say to you?
Millie: Well, he did say something about assassinating the President of the United States.
Stanley: That was the info we got yesterday!
Moxxie: So, we have good news and bad news.
Blitzø: Give me the good news first.
Moxxie: The good news is none of us got hurt.
Blitzø: We can see that.
Ryan: Yeah, we can.
Moxxie: 'Kay. The bad news is...
(Moxxie winced.)
Moxxie: ...Stolas's book is destroyed.
Blitzø: What?
Loona: He's not lying. We saw it with our own eyes. Hell, here's what's left of the book now.
(Loona picked up the remains of the from the ground.)
Loona: Yeah. We're super-fucked now.
Blitzø: Oh, fuck! What would Stolas say about this?
Clark: Okay, calm down, now, Blitzø. We'll figure this out. Do you have a phone or something?
(Blitzø took out his phone from his jacket.)
Blitzø: Never leave home without it.
Clark: Good. Do you have this "Stolas's" phone number?
Blitzø: Oh, certainly yes. In fact, he's my sex partner.
(The agents were surprised by Blitzø's statement.)
Ryan: You did not have to say that...
Blitzø: I can do whatever I want, bitch.
Sue: Guys, we are behind schedule. President Harvey's speech will be live any minute.
Jamie: Yeah. Come on, we gotta go now!
Blitzø: We'll be there! Just give us a sec!
(The agents left the basement. Blitzø turned and started crying.)
Loona: Blitzø, are you scared of Stolas finding out? It's okay- I mean sure we're fucked, but we tried.
Blitzø: It's not that, I was petrified when El Dicko took you guys, I really thought I wouldn't see you again. 
Moxxie: Aw sir..
(They all hugged Blitzø while he whined.)
Millie: No matter what situation we find ourselves in, we'll always find a way to fight back.
Blitzø: I know you will.
Clark: Hey you guys, can you hurry it up?
Blitzø: Let us be pal, we're having a FUCKING MOMENT.
Clark: *sighs* Okay well please hurry it up, we need to get to El Dicko as soon as possible. We only have, like...
(Clark looked at his watch.)
Clark: 10 minutes.
(After the wholesome moment, they all went up and saw a man by the mobile unit.)
Stanley: Whoa! Someone's by the unit!
(The agents cocked their guns.)
Clark: Put your hands behind your back and step away from the vehicle. NOW.
(The man turned around. The I.M.P. gang realized who it was.)
I.M.P.: Brad?!
Brad: Yeah... hi.
Clark: Wait, you know this guy?
Blitzø: Yes. He drugged us with angel dust.
Clark: Oh. Well, looks like we're arresting him.
Brad: Nonono, wait! I can explain!
Manny: Oh, save it for the judge, druggie!
Brad: No, it's not what you think! It was El Dicko who forced me!
(The agents put their guns down.)
Blitzø: Wait, wait, wait. You were hired by El Dicko?
Brad: Yes. But I assure you, it's complicated.
Blitzø: Oh, yeah? Explain.
(Fade to a flashback.)
Brad: It all began when I walked back into my house.
(Brad saw his entire family taken hostage by El Dicko.)
Brad: El Dicko apparently had my entire family hostage and threatened he would kill them if I didn't help him with one simple thing: to drug some demons.
(El Dicko gives Brad a form.)
Brad: He even forced me to sign a waiver saying that I should not tell the police or anyone else that he was there. And then, he gave me the angel dust that you guys took on. So I baked cupcakes, a good food to hide any evidence of that drug, in a matter of minutes, and then waited for the right time to drug you guys. And there!
(The flashback ends.)
Brad: I know you guys think it's my fault, but I was on peer pressure! It was actually El Dicko who was responsible for this! I'm sorry!
(Blitzø looked at Clark.)
Clark: Well...?
(Blitzø sighed and walked toward Brad. He looked at him.)
Blitzø: Listen, Brad. I know it's not your fault. You were just scared. And I get that feeling too. I mean, I'm not sure what to do if I had to pick between either my family or money.
Brad: Really?
Blitzø: Yeah.
(Blitzø stepped back.)
Clark: So, if you were working for El Dicko, what else did you do with him?
Brad: Well, not much. But- Oh!
(Brad took out his phone.)
Brad: I did place a tracker underneath his car! If I can get it to work, it should...
(Beep! Beep! Beep!)
Brad: Volia!
(Brad showed the location of El Dicko through a radar-esque scanner.)
Sue: Nice! That's some shit we need nowadays!
Clark: Well, sir, I guess you're pardoned.
Brad: Yes!
Clark: But on one condition.
Brad: Sure! I'll do anything to make it up to you!
Clark: You're coming with us.
Brad: DEAL!
(Brad hugged Blitzø and Clark.)
Clark: Excuse me?
Blitzø: Just let him be, Clark.
Clark: How'd you know my name?
Blitzø: Name tag.
(Cut to the agents, Brad, and I.M.P. driving down the road.)
Brad: Sorry for drugging you guys. You seemed pretty cool.
Blitzø: Ehh, apology accepted. Just don't do any fuck-shit like that again.
Brad: I'll try not to. I always say "no" to drugs.
Ryan: Hey, small guy, why do you look so fat?
Moxxie: Oh my god, even you think I'm fat?
Loona: See, Moxxie? I told you you're fat.
Moxxie: I'M NOT GODDAMN FUCKING FAT!
Ryan: Whoa, man! Take it easy! I'm just playin'.
Millie: You better be. Because you don't wanna know what I do when someone makes fun of my husband.
(Millie gave a death stare at Ryan. Flames fumed around her. Ryan gulped.)
Henry: Hey, Ryan, don't be scared by those dickheads. Besides, the other one does kinda look fat.
Millie: WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU ASSHOLE?!
(Millie also gave a death stare at Henry.)
Henry: Okay, maybe you should be.
Clark: Guys, are we close?
Brad: Just give me a sec...
(Brad opened his phone and showed they were near El Dicko's location.)
Brad: Alright! We're here!
(Clark parked the mobile unit near El Dicko's suspected car. The tracker under there was beeping.)
Clark: Perfect. Alright, demons, this is where we're parting.
Moxxie: Wait, what? Why?
Clark: Knowing you guys, you might be able to handle it yourselves. Plus, we need to make sure the people here are safe.
Blitzø: Yeah, we already know how to do it ourselves.
Clark: Take this.
(Clark threw a walkie-talkie to Blitzø.)
Clark: That way, we can make communication when we need to.
Blitzø: Thanks.
Clark: No problem.
(The door opened.)
The agents: Good luck!
(The agents left.)
Blitzø: Come on, guys. We've got a terrorist to kill.
(The I.M.P. gang walked through an alleyway.)
== Part 10 ==
(In the New York City Hall, President Harvey approached a pulpit. Thousands of people watched him.)
President Harvey: Good morning, America. We are all gathered here today to talk about the country, and how it will stand in such a rogue situation.
(Cut back to I.M.P. looking for El Dicko. President Harvey continues talking indistinctly.)
Moxxie: Shit! Where could he be? We're running out of time!
Blitzø: Keep looking. We'll find him.
(They all kept looking for El Dicko, until Millie spotted him and Hernando.)
Millie: There he is!
Blitzø: Keep your voice down!
(El Dicko had a sniper rifle aimed at President Harvey's head. He chuckled.)
El Dicko: Who'll be the leader now, bitch?
President Harvey: ...before those enemies could even fire at us!
(Before El Dicko could pull the trigger, Blitzø tackled at him.)
Blitzø: You don't get to kill humans here! We do!
El Dicko: Oh, so now you're here to face me? It's about time, pepper man!
(Blitzø and El Dicko begin fighting, before the latter unintentionally pushes the trigger, causing a loud gunshot. Everyone was startled, including President Harvey.)
Bodyguard #2: Shit! It's El Dicko!
(Zoom in to show El Dicko fighting with Blitzø.)
Bodyguard #1: Fuck, you're right. Come on, Mr. President. We gotta get outta here.
President Harvey: Coming!
(The FBI agents arrived just in time and all got out of the mobile unit.)
Clark: Come on, let's go! Let's go! Keep moving!
(Back with Blitzø and El Dicko, the latter punched the former in the face before he and Hernando made a run for it.)
Blitzø: Hey! Come on!
(The four jumped onto the ground, spotting El Dicko and Hernando grabbing their guns.)
Millie: They're grabbing weapons!
Loona: What do we do, Blitzø?
(Blitzø sneered.)
Blitzø: Get ready.
(As soon as he said that, the song "Bat Out of Hell" began playing.)
El Dicko: Oh, you're not going anywhere after we kill you once and for all.
Blitzø: Bet.
(The six charged toward each other. Then, they began firing guns.)
Blitzø: Guys, we gotta do a strategy!
Loona: Like what?
(Loona spotted a flashbang on the ground near the car. She ran and grabbed it.)
Loona: Millie! Think fast!
(Loona threw the flashbang at Millie. Millie caught it.)
Millie: Ohh, you're going down, bitch.
(Millie threw the flashbang at Hernando, blinding him.)
Hernando: Ah!
Millie: Moxxie, you're on cue!
Moxxie: You don't have to tell me twice!
Hernando: El Dicko! I can't fucking see! Where-
(Moxxie shot Hernando, still blinded, in the chest. He collapsed to the ground.)
El Dicko: Ugh! Damn it, Hernando! You could've done better than that!
Blitzø: Nice work, team!
(Blitzø threw a grenade at El Dicko.)
El Dicko: Oh sh-
(The grenade exploded. The I.M.P. gang grouped together again.)
Blitzø: Hell yeah! We did it!
(They all laughed, thinking they've claimed victory. However, a shadow emerged from the smoke. He shot his handgun in the air. The I.M.P. gang turned toward the shadow.)
El Dicko: So, you've thought you've gotten rid of me, huh?
(The smoke cleared to reveal El Dicko, completely littered with wounds and tears.)
Moxxie: Oh, come on.
El Dicko: I gotta say, I'm impressed. Seeing you work together to defeat me and my first hand man, that's cute. Almost as if a child dreaming about a unicorn has come true. But all good things must come to an end.
(He pointed his handgun at Loona. The I.M.P. gang, including Loona, were surprised.)
El Dicko: See ya.
(In slow-motion, El Dicko pulled the trigger of the gun, sending a bullet hurtling towards Loona. Blitzø intervened and jumped in front of Loona.)
Blitzø: (slow-motion) Noooo!
(The bullet impacted Blitzø's chest, as Moxxie, Millie, and Loona watched in horror.)
Moxxie, Millie, and Loona: Blitzø!
(Loona's fist clenched. Her eyes were then shadowed.)
Loona: Should've thought about it twice.
El Dicko: What the...?
(Loona ran towards El Dicko quickly and tackled him. She scratched him aggresively as he screamed in agony. Then, Loona ripped El Dicko's face off his head. Moxxie and Millie watched in terror.)
Millie: I'll be damned.
(Loona dropped El Dicko's body on the floor, as she, Moxxie, and Millie ran over to Blitzø, who was on the ground.)
Loona: Dad! Oh no... no no no!
(Blitzø was wounded in the chest.)
Moxxie: Sir, please don't die on us! Atleast do it later when we're back in Hell, not here!
(Blitzø's eyes opened.)
Blitzø: Guys...
Loona: Yes?
Blitzø: There's some things I need to tell you before I succumb to my injuries.
Millie: Please, sir! Tell us anything!
(Blitzø looked at Millie.)
Blitzø: Millie... remember when you asked me what sex with Verosika Mayday was like?
Millie: Yeah?
Blitzø: It was dogshit.
(Millie chuckled a bit.)
Millie: I knew it was dogshit too.
(Blitzø looked at Moxxie.)
Blitzø: Moxxie...
Moxxie: Hm?
Blitzø: Don't forget to add salads to your diet, man. You look disgusting.
Moxxie: I'll do that. I promise.
(Finally, Blitzø looked at Loona.)
Blitzø: Oh, Loony... how could I ever forget you?
Loona: Dad, please! I'll do anything to keep you alive. I swear!
Blitzø: You don't have to do that. I think I've lived a happy life, especially with you.
Loona: No... I take back everything I said before.
Blitzø: That's my daughter...
(Finally, Blitzø shuts his eyes. Moxxie, Millie, and Loona mourned over his "dead" body for a couple seconds until Blitzø reopened his eyes.)
Blitzø: HAH! GOTCHA!
Moxxie: Wait, what?
Blitzø: You should've seen the looks on your faces. They were hilarious!
Millie: So you're not dead?
Moxxie: But how?
(Blitzø opened his jacket to reveal a bulletproof vest.)
Blitzø: Bulletproof vest. I was ready the second those clients demanded we kill Dicko.
Moxxie: You fucking genius, you!
(Moxxie, Millie, and Loona hugged Blitzø.)
Millie: Don't ever do that again, sir.
Blitzø: I won't. Unless I want to.
(The FBI agents walked toward the group.)
Clark: Well, sire, you've done it.
Blitzø: Yep. It was all me.
Clark: Yeah, it was.
Ryan: So what are you gonna do?
Blitzø: Well, I'm gonna have to call Stolas to pick us up, since the book got destroyed.
Ryan: But how is he gonna get here?
Blitzø: It's easy.
(Then, Blitzø realized something.)
Blitzø: Actually, it won't be. Since the book is destroyed, I don't even know what he's gonna say. Ah, crap...
Millie: Hey, sir! Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll understand.
Blitzø: You think?
Millie: Of course!
Blitzø: Alright...
(Blitzø contacted Stolas with heisitation. Cut to Stolas and Octavia in ropes from the clients.)
Stolas: What the...? I think it's Blitzø. Hey, guys! Can you answer my phone for me?
Neil: Tracy, get the owl's phone.
(Tracy grabbed Stolas's phone and gave it to Neil.)
Tracy: Here ya go.
(Neil answered the phone and put it on Stolas's ear.)
Blitzø: Hey Stolas.. so we have some news to tell you. And the clients.
Stolas: What is it, Blitzø?
Blitzø: We finally got El Dicko.
(Silence filled the office.)
Blitzo: Hello?
Stolas: That's fantastic! That means these fuckers won't torment me and Octavia now!
Blitzo: What do you mean "fuckers"?
Stolas: Well, while you were gone, your clients were complaining to us about Dicko. Talk about being impatient, man!
James: Well, you know that we ain't happy with him, especially since he murdered us that time.
Stolas: Yeah, I can understand that, but still!
Octavia: Dad, can you ask them to untie us? I'm getting sick of this bullcrap.
Stolas: Sure.
(Stolas cleared his throat. He then partly transformed into his demon form.)
Stolas: UNTIE US, YOU NITWITS! OR ELSE FEEL THE WRATH OF THE GOETIC PRINCE OF HELL!!!
Carrie: Whoa! Okay, okay!
Jack: Don't get your tea in a twist!
(The clients untied Stolas and Octavia. Back in New York...)
Blitzø: You done?
Stolas: Yes. Anyways, what else?
Blitzø: Well...
(Blitzø wasn't sure how to say this.)
Blitzø: Your book is destroyed.
Stolas: Ahem. What?
(Stolas formed a portal that led him to New York.)
Ryan: Whoa! Magic portal!
Sue: No shit, Ryan.
Stolas: So, Blitzø, you said my grimoire is destroyed, is it?
Blitzø: Yeah. We're sorry.
Stolas: That's okay. You can have this one.
(Stolas handed out a copy of the original grimoire. The I.M.P. crew were surprised.)
Blitzø: Wait. You had a second copy this whole time?!
Stolas: Well, not just two. Dozens.
Blitzø: Hold on. Why do you have so many?
Stolas: Oh, it's simple.
(Fade to a flashback.)
Stolas: You see, when you came to my palace all those years ago just for my grimoire, what you didn't know was that the one I allowed you to keep was not the original. I had printed the copy as a way to keep it secret, and for back-up. I placed the copy up in my bookshelf, and you went off with it.
(The flashback ends.)
Stolas: And that's it. So Blitzø, did you really think I'd give you the real grimoire, even though I promised my father that I'd keep it safe, no matter what? My goodness, you really are retarded.
Blitzø: Yeah, I was.
Stolas: Anyways, enough of that now. Who wants to go home and celebrate? I'm getting sick of this place.
I.M.P.: We do!
Stolas: Well, move your asses and get through it now!
(Stolas and the others except Blitzø went through.)
Blitzø: Goodbye, humans! Take care! Make sure no one tries to kill you!
Henry: We won't!
(Blitzø went through the portal just as it closes.)
Jamie: Well, that was certainly something, wasn't it?
Stanley: Yeah, totally.
Henry and Manny: Agreed.
Clark: Forget about today. Tomorrow, we go back to D.C. and look for more prisoners on the loose.
== Part 11 ==
(Blitzø and the others walked through the portal.)
Blitzø: Hey, guys! We're back!
Stolas: Oh, thank the hell, man! You won't believe how hard it was to handle this stupid office!
Blitzø: Not so easy, was it, Stolas? Eh, you'll get used to it.
Kelly: So we heard you've killed El Dicko?
Blitzø: You bet we did!
Carrie: Where is he now?
Blitzø: I'm pretty sure he's rotting out there...
(Cut to El Dicko being shoved in a prison.)
El Dicko: But I'm innocent, I tell you!
Police Officer: Oh, save it until the next Extermination.
El Dicko: Oh...
Prisoner #1: Say, what's your story, old man?
(El Dicko turned to see a group of prisoners behind him.)
Prisoner #2: We knew you'd be coming.
El Dicko: Oh, fuck me...
(Cut back to I.M.P.)
Blitzø: Well, anyways, what do you guys wanna do, now that we've done the job?
Moxxie: Maybe celebrate now that it's done?
Blitzø: How about we celebrate?
Stolas: Ha! I like that!
Moxxie: That was my idea...
Blitzø: I've got the perfect celebration. Stolas?
(Swoosh to Stolas.)
Stolas: Uhh... what?
Blitzø: How about we... do it?
(Stolas blushed.)
Stolas: Oh, Blitzy, you're so cute when you get all flirt-y with me.
Blitzø: I know.
(Blitzø grabbed Stolas and the two entered the former's office. Everyone looked in confusion.)
Moxxie: ...Yeah, we're ending it here.
(Moxxie grabbed a curtain that closed the film, and played the credits.)
(The Silva Hound song "Root of All Evil" plays while the credits roll.)
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