2022 Power Rankings-Week 1

==Introduction==
Hey guys. Tough start to the year for me. Had a really busy couple of weeks at work and zero time to myself in the evenings, so I wasn't able to do a full writeup for opening week. I also made the mistake of doing Headhunters first, which sucked up way more time than I had hoped. 
Before we begin, it's time to hear from our defending champion: The Stupid Idiots. 
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We're going to do a deep dive leading into week 2 with draft analysis, some of our favorite charts, and season predictions for each team. That is, unless Pat's wedding gets in my way. For now, I have to keep the streak alive and give you guys an opening day ranking. 
==Opening Day Standings (Minimum Two Games)==
Updated through 2021
Team 	Wins	Losses	Ties	Win Pct.	Longest win streak	Longest loss streak	Current streak
Duck Punchers 	7 	4 	0 	0.636 	5 	2 	Won 5
Multiverse of Mattness	7 	4 	0 	0.636 	2 	1 	Won 2
Pain Train WOO WOO 	6 	5 	0 	0.545 	3 	2 	Lost 1
Sweet Dee 	6 	3 	0 	0.666 	3 	2 	Won 2
The Shotti Bunch 	6 	4 	0 	0.600 	3 	1 	Won 1
RIPDab 	6 	5 	0 	0.545 	2 	2 	Won 1
Papa's Posse 	5 	6 	0 	0.454 	2 	2 	Lost 2
Paddock 9 	3 	8 	0 	0.272 	2 	4 	Lost 2
JarJar Stinks! 	2 	1 	0 	0.666 	2 	1 	Lost 1
ma ma momma said 	2 	9 	0 	0.181 	1 	3 	Lost 3
Bell of Da Ball 	1 	4 	0 	0.200 	1 	3 	Lost 1
IAMGROOT 	0 	2 	0 	0.000 	0 	2 	Lost 2
This year we will test the opening day prowess of some teams. Duck and Mattness sit at the top with 7 week one weeks, but only one will be getting to eight. Same for Pain Train and RIPDab; someone is getting to seven wins. 
At the bottom, momma and Paddock are on the two longest losing streaks and have won the fewest opening games. Someone is getting a win, and someone's losing streak continues. 
== Week One Power Rankings==
===1. Pain Train ===
*Draft Day Projection: 11-3
*Commish Offish Projection: 10-4
Top to bottom, this is the roster to beat at the start of 2022. This isn't anyone's first rodeo, so I think we all know nothing ends up as it begins. But on paper, this team looks GOOD. Bonafide studs at both WR spots and both RB spots. Josh Allen looking like the top QB in the NFL sits pretty atop the roster. At TE, Darren BALLER, though there are some questions about his health. The league's hottest kicker (I mean....like, he's on fire...not that he's good looking...But like he is kidna sexy right?). And a top-five defense. It's insane that this team drafted in the same draft as some of these other teams, but when you're able to start with two strong keepers it makes a huge difference. 
=== 2. The Stupid Idiots ===
* Draft Day Projections: 8-6
* Commish Offish Projections: 9-5
Yahoo isn't as bullish on this team as I am. The defending champion comes in with a RB group consisting of Kamara, Chubb, and Cook. WR may not be as strong, but the upside cannot be beat. Bateman is primed for a breakout, while Michael Thomas is in position to maybe recapture some old magic. If he doens't work out, there is plenty to look forward to with Drake London on the bench. The biggest question mark is whether Dak Prescott can survive behind one of the NFL's worst offensive lines. 
===3. Ma Ma Momma Said===
*Draft Day Projection: 10-4
*Commish Offish Projection: 9-5
Don't panic when Jared loses week one. He always loses week one. Kittle is out, but it's better to be out on opening day than championship Sunday. Momma benefited from the craziest drop I've ever seen in the LOC at quarterback. No way should Mahomes have fallen to him as the 89th overall pick. Momma has one of the deeper benches at RB. 
=== 4. RIPDab ===
* Draft Day Projection: 9-5
*Offish Commish Projection: 8-6
Villain Nate is here in 2022 and I love to see it. He made a trade, he was mean to some people. He's got his swagger back. If he wins week one, watch out! Of course, if he loses week one then he'll probably start tanking and pull a Pat for 2023. What am I hoping for? Hard to say. I like Nate. I also like a lot of his players more than mine. 
=== 5. Duck Punchers ===
*Draft Day Projection: 6-8
*Commish Offish Projection: 7-7
Duck has the perfect blend of rookie prospects and veteran talent. Young talented players like Najee Harris, Pittman, and Herbert anchor a team that also has some fliers on the bench in Pierce and Walker. A team that can hang while their rookies get in the zone for the late season push is a very hard team to beat.
===6. Sweet Dee ===
*Draft Day Projection: 11-3
*Commish Offish Projection: 7-7
We've been here before. Last season Papa had the 3rd-best draft, according to FantasyPros. He missed playoffs. Middling teams stay middling. However, last year Sweet Dee finished 5-9 after a 5-9 projection, so maybe Yahoo knows better than me? Hard to say. Getting AJ Dillon in a trade from RIPDab as a keeper was a big get because it should have allowed Dee to focus less on RB in early rounds, but the WR group that she ended up with isn't exactly jaw-dropping. Allen Robinson is already up to his old tricks by not being good, and Dawson Knox was pretty shitty Thursday night (granted it was a game that didn't require a ton of moving the chains). 
===7. Paddock 9 ===
*Draft Day Projection: 6-8
*Commish Offish Projection: 6-8
This draft was Pat's to lose. He is a notoriously shitty drafter, but he had so many early picks. The team that he should have been able to amass, along with Diggs and Pitts as his keepers, should have blown everybody away. But the roster that he ended up with doesn't inspire much confidence. It's clear that with a surplus, he felt comfortable reaching for some players and taking risks on others. Well, the first couple risks didn't pay off in week one. Cam Fakers was a nothing-burger and JB Dobbins is inactive. The man of a thousand moves will have a retooled roster by season's end, and we cannot expect to see any sort of tank regardless of his W/L in September. 
=== 8. The Multiverse of Mattness ===
*Draft Day Projection: 0-14
*Commish Offish Projection: 6-8
Mattness went off his fucking rocker in this draft. He drafted as if ADP had never been invented. He passed on Kelce, who he shit on all off-season, in favor of Mark Andrews. He took a rookie RB with his second round pick. He took seven rookies overall. He has a gone on his IR who was shot in the butt. He is running a two tight-end, all-upside, no fluff, good vibes only, could be good but we're not sure yet offense. It's fun, exciting, and possibly the dumbest draft he's ever had. One thing is for certain: If Alvin Kamara has a good year, trading his keeper rights and choosing to go with Waddle for Keeper2 might be the biggest mistake in the history of this franchise. 
=== 9. Papa's Posse ===
*Draft Day Projection: 6-8
*Commish Offish Projection: 5-9
This draft started off so sexy, but then as soon as the big players went off the board it seemed like Papa reverted back to taking players he knew. JuJu, that's a name I recognize, fuck it! The Tom Brady keep might have been the most logical option of the players on that team, but after seeing how the draft went with QBs it turned out to be a huge swing and miss. Papa would have been better off not having two keepers. Weak keepers and lack of knowledge as it pertains to rookie and sleeper players are the two factors contributing to the constant middle-of-the-packism of the Posse. I really hope this is the year that changes, potentially through trades or riskier movement. 
===10. The Shotti Bunch ===
*Draft Day Projection: 3-11
*Commish Offish Projection: 4-10
I couldn't believe this draft as I was watching it. I thought maybe I was being pranked. Barkley in the first round made my jaw drop. DK "decoy" Metcalf in the third? In that offense, with that QB? Still, there is some bite to this roster. It's a 10-team league, every team has bite. Brown, Deebo, and Cooks is a great WR trio. Lamar is playing in a contract year, so that's good news. I'm just a little confused by it all. 
==Never Tell Me the Odds! ==
Yahoo projections are a joke, right? They see your draft and they tell you the future. But teams change. Injuries. Trades. Add/drops. Start/sits. Projections are not reality. But how often has Yahoo's Draft Day Projections been...close? For example, let's just pick a random number: five. Five is a good cut off. Five wins and you're headed to the loser's bracket. How many times did Yahoo project a team to go 5-8 or WORSE? Of those teams, how many defied the odds and made the playoffs? I'm glad you asked.
Teams Projected for Five Wins or Less
Projected Finish	Number of Teams	Number of Teams That Made Playoffs
5-8/5-9 	15 	8 (53%)
4-9 	6 	5 (83%)
3-10/3-11 	7 	4 (57%)
2-11/2-12 	4 	1 (20%)
1-12 	3 	1 (33%)
0-13 	2 	1 (50%)
TOTAL 	33 	17 (52%)
After 2019 Paddock 9 won the championship with a draft day projection of 0-13, Stupid Idiots won it all in 2021 after a 3-11 starting projection. This is good news for Commish, who is projected to go 0-14 to kick off 2022. 
==Single Season Win/Loss Records==
In total, there have been 112 full seasons in the LoC. In 2011, 12 teams played 13 regular season games. Since then, there have been nine more full 13-game seasons played with ten teams in each, and the first 14-team season last year.
All-Time Combined Win/Loss Records
Team Name 	W 	L 	Year
RIPDab  	11	2 	2013
Duck Punchers 	11	2 	2014
Duck Punchers 	11	2 	2012
Paddock 9 	10	3 	2020
Duck Punchers  	10	3 	2019
Garoppoblow Me 	10	3 	2018
Pain Train WOO WOO 	10	3 	2018
The Shotti Bunch 	10	3 	2017
ma ma momma said 	10	3 	2014
Garoppoblow Me 	10	3 	2016
RIPDab 	10	3 	2011
Pain Train 	9 	4 	2019
The Shotti Bunch 	9 	4 	2019
Papa's Posse 	9 	4 	2018
The Shotti Bunch 	9 	4 	2016
The Shotti Bunch 	9 	4 	2015
The Shotti Bunch 	9 	4 	2013
RIPDab 	9 	4 	2017
ma ma momma said 	9 	4 	2012
Pain Train WOO WOO 	9 	4 	2013
Pain Train WOO WOO 	9 	4 	2011
Duck Punchers 	9 	4 	2011
ma ma momma said 	9 	4 	2013
ma ma momma said 	9 	5 	2021
Duck Punchers 	9 	5 	2021
The Multiverse of Mattness	9 	5 	2021
RIPDab  	8 	5 	2020
Sweet Dee 	8 	5 	2020
The Duck Punchers 	8 	5 	2017
Garoppoblow Me 	8 	5 	2015
Garoppoblow Me 	8 	5 	2012
The Shotti Bunch 	8 	5 	2012
ma ma momma said 	8 	5 	2015
B-2 Hallway Gangstas 	8 	5 	2011
RIPDab  	8 	5 	2015
Pain Train WOO WOO 	8 	5 	2014
The Stupid Idiots 	8 	6 	2021
RIPDab 	8 	6 	2021
Pain Train 	7 	6 	2020
Duck Punchers 	7 	6 	2020
The Stupid Idiots 	7 	6 	2020
ma ma momma said 	7 	6 	2020
Paddock 9 	7 	6 	2018
Duck Punchers 	7 	6 	2018
Pain Train WOO WOO  	7 	6 	2017
Papa's Posse  	7 	6 	2016
Papa's Posse 	7 	6 	2014
Papa's Posse 	7 	6 	2011
Duck Punchers 	7 	6 	2013
Duck Punchers 	7 	6 	2016
IAMGROOT 	7 	6 	2014
The Shotti Bunch 	7 	6 	2014
JarJar Stinks! 	7 	6 	2016
RIPDab  	7 	6 	2016
Garoppoblow Me 	7 	6 	2011
Paddock 9 	7 	6 	2017
Paddock 9 	7 	6 	2016
Paddock 9  	7 	6 	2012
Brak and Yellow 	7 	6 	2011
why am i doing this 	7 	6 	2012
The Shotti Bunch 	7 	7 	2021
Bell of Da Ball 	6 	7 	2019
Paddock 9 	6 	7 	2019
ma ma momma said 	6 	7 	2019
Garoppoblow Me 	6 	7 	2019
Sweet Dee 	6 	7 	2018
The Shotti Bunch 	6 	7 	2018
Garoppoblow Me 	6 	7 	2017
Sweet Dee 	6 	7 	2015
IAMGROOT 	6 	7 	2013
Big Sacks 	6 	7 	2011
JarJar Stinks! 	6 	7 	2015
Paddock 9 	6 	7 	2014
Bobs Bananas 	6 	7 	2011
ma ma momma said 	6 	7 	2017
Pain Train 	6 	8 	2021
Papa's Posse 	6 	8 	2021
Papa's Posse 	5 	8 	2020
RIPDab 	5 	8 	2019
Sweet Dee 	5 	8 	2016
Pain Train WOO WOO 	5 	8 	2012
Duck Punchers 	5 	8 	2015
Pain Train WOO WOO 	5 	8 	2015
Pain Train WOO WOO 	5 	8 	2016
Papa's Posse 	5 	8 	2016
Paddock 9 	5 	8 	2013
butt fuckers 	5 	8 	2012
JarJar Stinks! 	5 	8 	2017
Sweet Dee 	5 	9 	2021
Papa's Posse 	4 	9 	2019
Sweet Dee 	4 	9 	2019
ma ma momma said 	4 	9 	2018
Papa's Posse 	4 	9 	2017
RIPDab 	4 	9 	2014
Sweet Dee 	4 	9 	2013
GregCincoDos 	4 	9 	2011
Garoppoblow Me 	3 	10	2020
The Shotti Bunch 	3 	10	2020
RIPDab 	3 	10	2018
Butt Fuckers 	3 	10	2018
Papa's Posse 	3 	10	2013
Papa's Posse 	3 	10	2012
Paddock 9 	3 	10	2015
RIPDab 	3 	10	2012
ma ma momma said 	3 	10	2016
ma ma momma said 	3 	10	2011
Garoppoblow Me 	3 	10	2014
Sweet Dee 	3 	10	2017
Paddock 9 	3 	11	2021
Garoppoblow Me 	2 	11	2013
Sweet Dee 	2 	11	2014
Paddock 9 	2 	11	2011
==All-Time Regular Season Win/Loss Records==
Below are the all-time regular season records for every franchise in the history of the league, including defunct teams. Records are updated through the 2021 season. There have been 144 regular season weeks since the league's inception in 2011.
All-Time Regular Season Records
Team Name 	W 	L 	W%
The Duck Punchers 	91	53	0.632
Pain Train 	80	64	0.555
The Shotti Bunch 	77	54	0.588
RIPDab 	76	68	0.528
ma ma momma said 	74	70	0.514
GaroppoblowMe 	72	72	0.500
Paddock 9 	63	81	0.438
Papa's Posse 	60	84	0.417
Sweet Dee 	43	75	0.364
The Stupid Idiots 	29	37	0.439
JarJar Stinks! 	18	21	0.462
IAMGROOT 	13	13	0.500
B-2 Hallway Gangsta	8 	5 	0.616
Brak and Yellow 	7 	6 	0.538
bob's bananas 	6 	7 	0.462
Big Sacks 	6 	7 	0.462
Why am I doing this	6 	7 	0.462
GregCincoDos 	4 	9 	0.308
==Matchup of the Week==
Paddock 9 vs. Ma ma momma said. Two teams that have historically struggled in week one, also constant trade partners, also friends. 
===Paddock 9 vs. Ma ma momma said===
Updated through 12/8/21
Head-to-Head: Ma ma momma said vs. Paddock 9
Date 	Ma ma momma said	Paddock 9	Classification 	Series Record
10/03/11	146.77 	189.93 	Regular Season 	0-1
12/19/11	152.27 	231.47 	2011 Million Dollar Game	0-2
10/22/12	216.02 	202.97 	Regular Season 	1-2
10/07/13	281.18 	230.83 	Regular Season 	2-2
09/29/14	233.30 	192.73 	Regular Season 	3-2
12/01/14	255.20 	269.89 	Regular Season 	3-3
10/19/15	223.15 	166.24 	Regular Season 	4-3
10/03/16	209.02 	227.87 	Regular Season 	4-4
10/30/17	168.56 	209.22 	Regular Season 	4-5
09/10/18	228.46 	158.57 	Regular Season 	5-5
09/16/19	170.16 	270.21 	Regular Season 	5-6
10/28/19	285.81 	249.84 	Regular Season 	6-6
10/13/20	223.45 	203.74 	Regular Season 	7-6
11/16/20	109.65 	208.16 	Regular Season 	7-7
10/04/21	230.93 	197.87 	Regular Season 	8-7
11/29/21	248.06 	207.00 	Regular Season 	9-7
== Conclusion==
Last year, somehow, I was able to pump out power rankings on my honeymoon. With each passing year it seems I get busier and busier, but we'll get back on track in week two. See everyone then.