Casualties Imminent

Casualties Imminent is the twenty-seventh episode of SBFW Quest. It aired on November 16, 2019, and was written by FireMatch. It is the Season Two finale.
==Transcript==
(The episode starts with Alt reading a book on why Once Bitten is the worst SpongeBob episode)
Alt: This book is the best! I hope I never lose it.
Ingot: Hahaha! You think you can enjoy anything in your life? Well guess what, doofus, I’m still here!
Alt: Oh shit I forgot. Dang it. (His book is set on fire and is yeeted into a nearby lake) I was reading that!
Ingot: Indeed. Ian, did you get the stone guy?
Ian: Granite? Yeah, but he’s unconscious.
Ingot: Even better. I present to you… my brand new cock and ball torture-inator! (The Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated theme plays)
Ian: Did you get that from the pawn shop?
Ingot: No, I made it myself.
Ian: No wonder it looks like my grandma’s toilet.
Ingot: What kind of comparison is that?
(The giant Hoopla hooplas in the distance)
Ingot: Shit, that thing is still here.
Ian: Don’t worry, Travis is taking care of it.
Travis: Eat bra, green thing!
Giant Hoopla: Hoopla! (he takes the bra out of Travis’ hand and eats it whole)
Travis: Crap.
Ingot: Uhhhh… let’s just get this shit over with.
Alt: Oh god.
Ingot: Indeed. (he turns on the cock and ball torture-inator, which has a huge sawblade in the middle of it)
Alt: Oh GOD!
Ingot: And now you’re going to sit on it! (laughs maniacally)
Alt: This can’t be the end. This is a show.
Ingot: What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall?
Alt: o
Granite: (suddenly waking up) Uh what’s going on? (Ian knocks him out with a hammer)
Alt: Where the hell did you get that hammer from?
Ian: From the deep depths of my ass.
Alt: (shudders) I regret asking.
Jasbre: Stop right there, former friend!
Ian: Jasbre? Uh oh.
Jasbre: Yeah that’s right. Now let them go or else things will get a bit crazy.
Ian: Seeing how everything is crazy enough already, no.
Jasbre: (faints)
Travis: What a crooked black duck.
Ingot: Indeed. No more filler, it’s time for this town to perish into oblivion.
Alt: You mean… we’re ALL going in that chair?
Ingot: Oh no. I made an assembly line that’s supposed to mass produce- hey, where is it anyway?
Ian: I couldn’t find any conveyor belts in the pawn shop, sir.
Ingot: DAMN IT! Guess we’ll have to use just this one.
Granite: I don’t wanna die. I’m too young to die.
Alt: I’m only… I forgot my age actually. But I’m too young to die too!
Ingot: Pathetic. Into the cock and ball torture-inator! (he shoves Granite into the machine first. He gets grinded into literal granite)
Alt: Noooo! Granite!
Ingot: He is now literal granite! (laughs maniacally again)
Alt: What am I gonna turn into, an alternate universe?
Ingot: Maybe.
Alt: Cool.
Ingot: It won’t be cool when you fricking DIE! Now get into the machine!
Alt: I’ll do it for Fanonland.
Ingot: Yeah yeah, it’s totally not like they all will die too. (shoves Alt into the cock and ball torture-inator, grinding him into bits and creating an alternate universe)
Dan: I am here to say that smashed potatoes that look like Squidward is still a page!
Ingot: Indeed.
Matchy: Why?!
Ingot: Indeedn’t.
Purple: Hey I’m back from eating an entire fucking turkey- (Ingot puts a bag over him, blinding him)
Matchy: Purple, NO!
Ingot: This whole town will perish, I tell you. Perish!
Jasbre: Not if we stick together, guys. Let’s go!
Rocky: (appearing out of literally nowhere) Let’s go!
Matchy: Where the fuck did you come from?
Rocky: I have no idea.
Dan: I grabbed this from the pawn shop. Is it useful? (he holds out an orb)
Jasbre: Hmm… looks like the one Ingot was holding earlier.
Ingot: Indeed.
Jasbre: Will you shut the hell up?
Ingot: Make me bitch. (Jasbre slaps a piece of tape over his mouth) Mmhh. MMMMMHHH!
Jasbre: Anyway, what would happen if we combined this orb with the one Ingot had earlier?
Ingot: MMMMM! MMMMAAAAAHHHH!
Jasbre: Ha. Can’t even speak.
Ingot: (finds a shred of common sense inside himself and rips the tape off his mouth) You cannot combine the two orbs. Rumor has it the whole town will burst into flames!
Jasbre: Bullshit. Hey, what’s that in your pocket?
Ingot: No, WAIT-! (Jasbre combines the two orbs and a giant white flash wipes the entire screen. After the flash goes away, Ingot, Ian, Jasbre, and Travis are nowhere to be seen)
Matchy: Where did Jasbre go?
Purple: No idea.
Crazy: Maybe they kidnapped him.
Purple: Crazy, you’re crazy.
Crazy: I know.
Matchy: Well, there goes two of our beloved citizens. Should we have a funeral?
Purple: Maybe later. But now is a good time to find out where Jasbre is.
Matchy: Honestly, I think we have a lot more citizens to find first. Where’s Princess Ponyo?
Purple: I think she fled from town a while ago.
Matchy: What about CobblePirate?
Purple: He’s homeless and living in a shoebox. Poor Cobble…
Matchy: Well, at least he isn’t dead. Ponyo, maybe. I never cared much about her in the first place.
Purple: We need a new princess for the time being. But who?
Cici: Guys, I hate to break up your lovely conversation, but I think I see Travis in the distance.
Travis: (in the distance) Damn fools! I’m here to get Image’s glistening-
Matchy: (yelling) Shut up!
Travis: No!
Purple: While you guys have your little conversation of your own, I’m gonna have some me time.
Matchy: But Purple, something important is going on right now! And we still don’t know what 27 means!
Purple: Matchy, I haven’t had my own time to relax since… ages ago. I don’t care if Obama Trash Bin comes along and sets the whole world on fire. I’m taking a break.
Matchy: Okay then. It’s your funeral. Speaking of funerals…
(All of Fanonland is seen attending the funeral of Alt and Granite)
(Cut to Jack's mom going through the drive-thru at Wendy's)
Jack's mom: What do you want, sweetie?
Jack: I want a triple chocolate cookie.
(5 minutes later...)
Jack (having a very full stomach): I think I have type 3 diabetes...
Jack's mom: You're welcome, sweetie.
==Trivia==
*This is the last episode with Purple133 as the title card creator.
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Category:2019 Episodes
Category:SBFW Quest
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