List of Cold Opens

Starting from the second season, most episodes of The Office feature cold opens, which are, most of the time, completely divorced from the episode's plot.
==The Office (UK)==
===Series 1===
*None ("Downsize")
*None ("Work Experience")
*None ("The Quiz")
*None ("Training")
*None ("New Girl")
*None ("Judgement")
===Series 2===
*Gareth annoys Tim by singing "Mah Nà Mah Nà" with David and another employee joining in. ("Merger")
*None ("Appraisals")
*None ("Party")
*None ("Motivation")
*None ("Charity")
*None ("Interview")
===Christmas Specials===
*David criticizes the in-universe documentary for portraying him in a negative light and leaving out all the footage of him being a competent boss. ("Christmas Special, Part 1")
*None ("Christmas Special, Part 2")
==The Office (US)==
===Season 1===
*None 
*None 
*None 
*None 
*None 
*None 
===Season 2===
*None 
*None 
*Michael has Ryan get him a breakfast sandwich on the way in to the office. Michael said he needs Ryan to come in early for something, that "something" is Michael's breakfast sandwich. 
*Pam gets a call from Katy asking for Jim. Jealous, she tells him to give her the extension next time. 
*Michael has to provide Jan with the name of the employee he's firing. He tells her assistant that he'll get back to Jan with a name. Thinking he'd disconnected the line, he says he wishes he could fire the assistant, only to learn he hadn't disconnected the line and she heard him. 
*Dwight's desk is missing because Jim hid it in the bathroom. Dwight goes into the bathroom, telling Kevin to wash his hands. 
*Michael wears his casual jeans around the office and Ryan is forced to dry clean them. 
*Dwight tells Jim about his yoga ball and Jim then pops it with a pair of scissors. 
*Michael freaks when he sees a man with a turban approach his office. He makes everyone cut off the lights and go silent. He later says, "The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a great start." 
*Michael gets a Christmas tree for the office, but it is too big, leading to it breaking into the ceiling. 
*Dwight's things are in the vending machine because Jim hid them there and makes him pay to get his wallet with nickels. 
*Dwight crashes into a pole and throws up while rushing to get Michael after he calls for help because he burned his foot on a George Foreman Grill. 
*Jim says, "Up dog" leading Michael to get tricked into saying "What's Up Dog?" Michael tries to use it unsuccessfully. 
*Jim keeps looking up to reception where Pam is missing and Ryan is. Ryan finds it odd that Jim keeps looking at him, but it's nothing like Michael looking at him. Cut to Michael creepily staring at Ryan through his office blinds. 
*It's Women in the Workplace Day at Dunder Mifflin, and Pam expresses her thoughts. 
*It's Valentine's Day at Dunder Mifflin and Pam says it's like grade school. 
*Michael and Dwight throw a football around the office, and it ends with Dwight tackling Ryan. Michael is about to throw it at Pam before the theme cuts it off. 
*Michael says he works with a bunch of nerds when Jim and Dwight correct his use of superhero analogies when talking to the kids. 
*Michael tries to interest the guys in purchasing calling cards. Jim asks Michael how is it not a pyramid scheme and goes on to draw a pyramid around the sketch Michael has drawn to explain the idea, proving to everyone that this is indeed a pyramid scheme. 
*Dwight finds drugs in the parking lot and starts a huge investigation. Jim explains that "Dwight finding drugs is worse than anyone actually doing drugs." 
*Pam is still making wedding preparations and Phyllis tells her she has received her 'save the date.' Angela says she doesn't have hers yet. 
*Jim convinces Dwight that he can move objects with his mind and Dwight begins to believe it when he moves a coat rack. Pam helps him by using an umbrella to pull the coat rack. 
===Season 3===
*Ryan explains that he was promoted and footage of Pam kissing Jim comes up. Dwight then pretends to cry because Jim is gone, but says he doesn't miss him. 
*Michael wants to adopt a child because of watching Oprah. He asks Pam to look it up, but she doesn't, and Michael asks if in thirty years she will want to have a kid with him. Pam reluctantly agrees. 
*Pam makes popcorn because it is Movie Monday, but no one wants it. 
*Michael asks Ryan if he wants a pencil from the warehouse then "walks" to the "warehouse" behind a stack of boxes. 
*Dwight keeps trying to trick Ryan with riddles. However, Ryan shuts Dwight down by answering before Dwight can get his answer out. 
*Ryan is wearing Indian clothes causing Michael to make fun of him. However, when Pam points out that it's nice, Michael asks Kelly why she didn't get more for him. 
*Dwight gets letters from Future Dwight as a prank from Jim in Stamford and rushes to save Stanley from being poisoned by his coffee. 
*The Stamford branch packs up their belongings, with Andy pressing Jim for the goods on Michael. Pam "times" how fast Dwight can run with a thermometer when Toby tells Pam that he finished a marathon, and Dwight says he can run faster than Toby. 
*Michael imitates the baby from Look Who's Talking when Hannah Smoterich-Barr brings in her baby boy who is mistaken for a girl because of bizarre and nonsensical gender roles. She confirms his favorite color is pink. 
*Dwight brings a dead goose into the office and convinces Toby that they can eat it. Creed says it's crazy, but Phyllis wants to eat it. Pam is overly irritated and is told to lighten up. 
*The salespeople make fun of Dwight when they are forced to record their meeting for Michael, who is on vacation. It ends up with Andy making a stupid remark about Dwight cutting Phyllis' head off. 
*Michael forces Jim and Pam to meet Harvey, his computer, and keeps making mistakes when typing what Harvey says. Pam and Jim anger Michael when they pretend not to know what Harvey means. 
*Dwight tries to get a job and meets two people, describing himself as merciless, but fails and decides to work at Staples for the time being. Back at the office Andy is annoying everyone, and Jim in particular, to the point that he admits to missing Dwight. 
*Michael makes a tape for his future son which Dwight tapes. When Michael needs to take off a bra, he asks Pam if she wants to, but does it to Dwight. Dwight suggests that Michael dies because his future son kills him. 
*Jim makes a Pavlov experiment for Dwight, giving him Altoids every time he reboots his computer, until Dwight expects to get one based on hearing a computer chime. 
*Michael reminisces about the eighth grade because he is going to be the guest speaker at Ryan's business school - even though it will bump him up a full letter grade, Ryan is uneasy about bringing Michael to school. 
*Michael traps himself in chains and drops the key, but since he previously asked no one to help him, he can't get out. 
*Roy attacks Jim and Dwight sprays Roy with pepper spray. Dwight explains that he always brings pepper spray. Everyone, including Pam and Karen are shocked. 
*Andy comes back from anger management and requests to be called "Drew." Dwight and Jim refuse, and Dwight explains that he is going to shun him for the next three years, like he was in his childhood for not saving tuna fish juice. 
*Jim pretends to be Dwight and brings in everything that Dwight would. Dwight goes into Michael's office after Jim imitates him going into Michael's office. 
*Dwight gives Jim a demerit and explains what happens after that. Jim tells him that he is going to give him a full "disadulation". 
*Michael gets a call from David Wallace telling him that he is up for a job at corporate. Michael tells him God will be with him. 
*Michael goes to New York only to realize his interview is tomorrow. Michael calls Pam telling her that he'll be three hours late. 
===Season 4===
*Michael hits Meredith with his car when he is distracted while talking to the documentary crew about living at home with Jan, and how Jim is back and Ryan is boss. He is shocked, while Meredith is injured. 
*Everyone realizes Pam and Jim are in a relationship when Toby sends a notice regarding relationships in the office, after he sees Pam and Jim kiss in the office. Michael says that it will be a day remembered in infamy. 
*Michael is holding a meeting, but instead of everyone paying attention, they are waiting for a square to go into the corner of the TV because it never happens. When it finally does go into the corner everyone cheers, which Michael mistakes as laughter for his jokes. 
*Michael treats Pam in the manner of Meryl Streep's character in Devil Wears Prada and apologizes when he finishes the movie. However, when he uses a term from Million Dollar Baby, Pam thinks Michael is going to try to kill her. 
*Michael tries to get ideas from a local ad and Andy is angry when he can't remember a rhyme from a commercial. However, Jim tells everyone not to tell him. Jim explains that a local ad is great because no one knows what Dunder Mifflin is. 
*Stanley tells Michael he is going to Utica to work for Karen (who claims in a talking head that, without an incompetent boss and a boyfriend in love with another woman, Regional Manager is a "pretty easy job"). 
*Michael wasn't invited to a corporate retreat by Ryan. Every other branch manager attended, and Toby was invited in Michael's place. Everyone comments that Michael wasn't invited and Pam is interested in what happened. 
*Michael has Pam write notes to him during meetings so that he can feel important. However, it gets him in trouble when Ryan thinks he has a call from client, but doesn't and has to take it. 
*Michael pretends to call corporate and says that everyone can go home instead of working late. He, however, has a plan and gets Jim, Pam, Angela and Andy to come to his condo for a dinner party because they rescheduled all of their plans (at which point Jim realizes that the project that would require them to work late never existed). Dwight is distraught at not being invited. 
*There are parking problems and Pam and Jim explain they saw "nature." Kevin is most angry and has to stop walking several times. 
*Michael has gum in his hair because he saw a shiny thing under a car. Dwight puts peanut butter in his hair, and Dwight eats it. 
**According to a script for "Dinner Party", included with the Season 4 DVD, this was originally the cold open for that episode, with the "fake Corporate assignment" scene taking place after the opening credits.
*Michael puts his face in concrete because he wants his kids to remember him. 
*Michael plans to "youthanize" Dunder Mifflin with a job fair for interns. Kelly says Darryl looks like Barack Obama and Michael offends Pam with saying that she'll be eye candy. .
*Jim connects his headpiece to Dwight's phone, making Dwight extremely angry. Pam helps by calling Jim and pretends to think she's confused whether she is talking to Dwight or Jim. 
===Season 5===
*None 
*Jim tells everyone that he is engaged to Pam and no one seems to care, until Michael comes to the office and takes Jim down. 
*Dwight and Michael prepare for Jan's baby by using a watermelon. Jim says that Michael and Jan's baby are connected through delusion. 
*Pam runs out of money in New York so Michael arranges for her to get a job at Corporate. 
*The office dresses up for Halloween and three employees (Creed, Kevin and Dwight) dress as Heath Ledger's Joker. 
*Michael tells the office that he got engaged when he took Holly to Nashua - upon hearing this, Darryl, having actually been there, offers to pay for any psychiatric care Michael needs. 
*Michael tells the office about local customs in foreign lands. 
*Michael doesn't know that Toby is back from Costa Rica. 
*Oscar explains to Michael how well the office used its budget. 
*Jim wrapped up many presents for Dwight. 
*The office times their sprints using a radar gun located in front of the building. 
*Dwight looks for the source of the red wire coming from his computer. 
*Dwight sets up a fire test for the preparedness of a fire drill. 
*Michael does impressions on the intercom. 
*Recap of main events in the previous episode. 
*The phone systems gets an upgrade. Jim pretends he's Michael. 
*Michael and Dwight do knock knock jokes. Jim does a ding dong joke. Jim finishes Dwight's joke. 
*Michael decides to celebrate his 15th anniversary. Dwight doesn't like his outfit. Jim is Mr. Peanut. Jim talks about ice sculptures. 
*Michael talks to his coworkers about his quitting story. 
*Kevin has trouble adjusting to his job as receptionist but is finally able to transfer a call to Andy which turns out to be bad news. 
*Michael arrives back at Scranton business park to open Michael Scott Paper Company and in search of a good parking space. 
*Michael, Pam, and Ryan become cheese puff aficionados around the office. 
*Michael, Pam, and Ryan adjust to early morning paper deliveries while making sure their delivery van isn't mistaken for a Korean church van. 
*Kevin brings a huge pot of his "Kevin's Famous Chili" dish to the office, and accidentally drops it onto the floor, making a big mess of the carpet and himself as he tries to scoop it back into the pot. 
*Dwight uses the new receptionist to pull a prank on Jim and Pam. 
*After Michael falls asleep at the desk, the entire office conspires to convince him it's 5 o'clock when it's really only 1 o'clock. 
===Season 6===
*Andy, Dwight, and Michael parkour around the office. 
*Michael asks for Oscar's advice about a colonoscopy procedure. 
*Dwight asks Jim to sign the expense reports, and tries filing a complaint against Jim. 
*Pam asks the employees to be mindful of her sensitive nose, leading to everyone vomiting around the office. 
*Michael holds a conference room meeting about the fundamentals of business. ("Mafia")
*Jim and Pam return from their honeymoon; Michael plays Blind Guy McSqueezy. 
*Jim is annoyed when a client insists on Michael attending a meeting instead of just him. 
**The staff puts together a haunted warehouse for their children, but the scares fall flat, that is until Michael pretends to hang himself. ( - original airing)
*Dwight brings fresh bagels from New York for the entire office in exchange for their allegiance against Jim. 
*After Jim interrupts Dwight's martial arts seminar, Dwight begins to practice against himself. 
*Jim gives us a history on the evolution of Dwight's alter ego, "Recyclops". 
*After Michael tells Andy he has received complaints about Andy's baby voice, Andy gives Michael tips about his Elvis impression. 
*Jim and Dwight unveil the new office Christmas tree, but the office is not amused. 
*Michael outlines his plan to impress someone who is trying to determine the branch's worth to possible investors. 
*After Michael hastily opens and distributes the contents of a package meant for the new boss, he enlists the help of the entire office to reseal it. 
*Michael cancels a hotel reservation in Vancouver. 
*Dwight insists Jim and Pam are using their upcoming baby to increase their sales. They advise Dwight to open up to his clients about his personal life, to shocking results. 
*The office, particularly Meredith, show their enthusiasm for St. Paddy's. 
*Michael tries to prove to Jim that he has seen Johnny Depp in his condo complex. 
*Michael challenges the office and allows anyone who can do 25 push-ups the day off. 
*The office collects around Oscar's computer to watch a funny video of Cookie Monster with Kevin's voice. 
*Michael wants everyone in the office to speak Spanish as he prepares for a trip to Cancun but has difficulty with the feminine and masculine forms of the language. 
*Jim and Pam learn Morse code, sending Dwight into paranoia. 
*In the conference room, an office safety meeting led by Toby turns into a discussion on how to get rid of Bin Laden, Hitler, and Toby at once. 
*Michael wants to keep a local news clip featuring himself as the most viewed video and enlists the office to watch it 11 times each. The office instead gets distracted by a video of a baby otter at the Scranton Zoo. 
===Season 7===
*The Scranton branch make a lip dub of "Nobody but Me" by The Human Beinz. 
*Dwight gives Jim and Pam a tour of the day care facilities he is opening in the office. 
*Andy gives the office a preview of the musical Sweeney Todd. 
*Dwight hires Nate to take care of the hornets nest. 
*Oscar brings his bike to work and Michael tries to ride it. 
*There is no limit to what Stanley will not notice. 
*Pam hosts the Sabre Hygiene Day. Dwight exposes himself to more germs. 
*The Scranton Strangler escapes his house. The Scranton branch watch him on the news and out the window. Michael grabs dirt from the road. 
*The power and server went off. The office tries to figure out the server password, which ended up being "bigboobz". 
*When Dwight attempts to use his feet as hands around the office, Jim proves to him how his experiment will fail. 
*The office poses for their annual Christmas card but can't decide on the right pose or get it right. 
*After returning to the office on a Saturday to retrieve his cell phone, Jim stumbles upon Dwight's neighborhood watch meeting in the conference room. 
*Ricky Gervais guest stars when Michael Scott and his British The Office counterpart, David Brent, meet at last. 
*Ryan and Kelly announce their pending divorce but the rest of the office is unaware of their past nuptials. 
*Darryl's grandmother has passed away. Pam attempts to console him with a signed card from Dunder Mifflin employees, but it was mistaken for a birthday card, thus prompting a party celebration. Darryl sheds a tear for the camera. 
*The opening scene to Michael's movie Threat Level Midnight opens this episode as Michael announces he is finally ready to premiere it to the office. 
*Dwight uses lunch time to consume large quantities of nearly-expired food from his bomb shelter. Jim questions Dwight about possible timelines for the end of the world. 
*The office holds a garage sale in the warehouse. After Dwight lets the cold air from outside into the warehouse, Andy wrestles him to try and close the door. 
*Michael is meeting his replacement at a hotel bar, but after the guy is late, he strikes up a conversation with a stranger (Will Ferrell) who's companion is also late. After a few minutes they realize they're there to meet each other. 
*Michael and his replacement drive around and deliver Dundie nominations to their employees, particularly Jim & Pam, Stanley, Toby and Meredith. 
*While Michael is sitting on the roof to prepare himself for the high altitude of Colorado, Dwight offers him a sabotaged gift for not naming him as his successor. After Michael tells Dwight that it was not his job to give, he makes amends by seeking Dwight's advice on bear attacks. 
*Deangelo Vickers begins his first day as the new regional manager with a conference room meeting. 
*The Party Planning Committee decide on a hospital gift for Deangelo. Jim explains how the office has been running in the absence of a boss, but corporate offers him the top spot, which he declines. When Dwight accepts the job instead, Jim regrets his decision. 
*After he arrives to work in a new Porsche, we learn that Creed has been named the new acting manager based on seniority. He is performing exactly as you would expect him to perform. 
===Season 8===
*The employees begin planking around the office. Andy is revealed as the new manager of the office and Robert California as the CEO. Pam and Angela are pregnant. 
*Kevin speaks like an idiot to save time. Jim, Pam, and Andy convince him to stop. 
*The employees find a dog inside of a car in the parking lot. Oscar smashes the window to save the dog, but has to put a cardboard cover on it. 
*Andy places billboards all around Scranton, but finds vulgar graffiti on all of them. 
*Andy screens the Halloween costumes around the office. 
*Andy sings "Closing Time" around the office every day, but the employees aren't enthusiastic. Stanley, however, sings along. 
*Andy asks Erin to fake a phone call to impress a client, but Erin, Dwight and Darryl pretend Andy's mother has died. 
*Pam fakes her water breaking to get out of doing things in the office. The employees finally catch her faking it. 
*Dwight decides to stand at all times instead of sitting. Jim finds him faking it, and tips him over. 
*Stanley demands a traditional Christmas. 
*The employees see how long they can go without talking. Kevin breaks the streak by eating a candy bar and saying, "Oh yeah." 
*Jim pranks Dwight by placing meatballs in odd spots to make Stanley laugh. Dwight and Stanley reveal they have been scheming to get Jim to give them meatballs. 
*Andy dances to "Footloose" in the warehouse. 
*Pam returns from maternity leave, but Angela returns much more quickly, with a better body and time to bake goodies for the employees. 
*Dwight wakes up the entire Tallahassee team in the hotel extremely early. Jim pranks Dwight by pretending to have been murdered in his room. 
*Pam, Angela and Oscar talk behind each other's back about the others. Andy angers all of them by claiming a boat is the most difficult thing to take care of. 
*Dwight plans the opening of the Sabre store. Erin pretends to be a hipster in line. 
*Andy announces that Dwight is staying in Florida, but the employees think Dwight is dead. The employees let Creed open Dwight's treasure, and find a picture of the employees with a poison dart inside of it. 
*The employees go down to the warehouse to see a balloon falling from the ceiling. They realize how unaccomplished their lives are and decide to kill the balloon. 
*Stanley comes back from the hospital and the employees can't remember whether or not he has a mustache. 
*The employees count how many clichés about the rain Phyllis says. Phyllis enjoys the fact that the other employees are listening to her, and because of this, she doesn't say the last one. 
*Ryan is distraught over the death of Smokey Robinson, but Pam thinks he is only attempting to be "deep about music." Oscar finds that Smokey is alive and they try getting Ryan to go to a Smokey concert, but he refuses. 
*Dwight and Gabe have a leg curl competition and Jim tricks them to make a photo of the two having a slumber party. 
*Oscar makes an "It Gets Better" video, but is interrupted by Robert, Kelly and Kevin. 
===Season 9===
*The Dunder Mifflin employees talk about their summer. Kevin kills a turtle. 
*The Dunder Mifflin employees set up the chore wheel. 
*An Asian man pretends to be Jim. 
*Andy makes a fail reel of the summer softball tournament. 
*Dwight puts a jack-o'-lantern on his head but it gets stuck. 
*Oscar admits he is having an affair with the Senator and Kevin overhears. 
*Andy video-chats the office via his laptop, then proceeds to drop it in the sea. 
*Oscar worries about Angela knowing about the affair. As it turns out, she is oblivious. 
*None 
*Jim bites his lip talking about sports with Darryl and Kevin. He tries not to let it bother him but he later storms out of the interview in annoyance. 
*Dwight tries to persuade Jim to form a sales team with him to get a client, however Jim cannot come. Dwight embarrasses himself by accidentally saying "love you" at the end. 
*Dwight discovers an old prank established by Jim a long time ago, leading to a wild goose chase throughout the building. 
*Pam thanks Brian for his support and he tells Pam that his agency does not want the camera crew to talk to the office staff. Meredith then tries to flirt with Brian and he happily tells her the same thing. 
*Darryl has begun working for Jim's company in Philadelphia and has to sneak out of work. Erin distracts the office when he sneaks out and uses a giant teddy bear dressed like him to make it appear as though he is in his office. 
*None 
*David Wallace yells at Andy for lying, but decides not to fire Andy since he got David to buy the company. 
*Dwight announces that his aunt has died and begins to throw dirt in people's face to tell them to stay away from him in his time of mourning as is Schrute tradition. He does this to everyone except Oscar and throws a large dirt-ball at Jim. 
*Phyllis gets aroused while listening to the Fifty Shades of Grey audiobook. Dwight pours a bucket of water on her head and Andy confiscates her iPod. Andy is shown getting aroused from listening to the book and a bucket of water is quickly poured on him. 
*The elevator is out of order and Stanley is forced to walk up the stairs, which tires him out quickly. 
*The office talk about the paper airplane contest they are competing in. Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with her paper airplane. 
*None 
*Kevin enters the office using the new security door Dwight installed. Dwight later tries to use it himself and gets the password wrong causing him to get blasted by steam. 
*Dwight recaps his first year as Regional Manager. A flashback of Stanley retiring and Kevin and Toby getting fired is shown. 
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Category:Trivia