Endless and Izuru's Not So Fantastic Misadventure

SYNOPSIS - After being charged with credit card fraud, Endless and Izuru are kicked out of their apartment which now belongs to the shy guy family. After a while of living in the wilderness, the two decided enough is enough and set to get their apartment back.
(Endless is seen racing through the apartment)
Endless: IZURUUUUUUU!
(Endless barges into Izuru's room where he is seen asleep holding his katana. Endless shakes him waking him up)
Endless: IZURU WAKE UP! WE GOT A NOTE FROM THE CREDIT CARD COMPANY!
Izuru: F***!
Endless: They say if we dont pay back our balance by 3PM they're gonna CLOSE OUR ACCOUNT!
Izuru: Oh how can this happen?
Endless: Which means we can only do one thing!
Izuru: Yeah! Spend our asses off while theres still time!
Endless: Get dressed! We're going to the mall!
(It then shows a montage which starts with Endless coming out wearing a cowboy outfit. Izuru shakes his head. Endless comes out dressed all fancy. Izuru sighs and shakes his head again. Endless comes out wearing his normal attire and Izuru nods and gives a thumbs up. Endless and Izuru then race into the store with a shopping cart)
Endless: Oh Izuru! They got christmas stuff!
(Endless grabs a bunch of christmas shirts. Izuru comes up holding some paper towels)
Endless: No, put that back! Grab the other one?
Izuru: Why?
Endless: We can afford it!
Izuru: Ugh.
(Izuru then grabs a bunch of clothes)
Endless: Just throw them in!
(Endless races his shopping cart through the store)
Endless: GET OUT OF THE WAY!
(Izuru grabs a giant pikachu plush and yeets it into the shopping cart)
Izuru: YAAA!
(Endless is seen walking out of Pen Mart holding a bunch of bags and wearing sunglasses)
Endless: Phew. Man I am pooped after all that shopping! Looks like your gonna have to drive yourself Izuru. Izuru?
(Endless looks behind and sees Izuru face planted on the floor)
Endless: Oh my word, he passed out from too much shopping. Looks like im gonna have to call an uber.
(A car then races up running over Izuru's legs breaking them)
Endless: Oh well that was fast.
(Endless enters the car)
Endless: Are you, "Ivory Man"?
Iron Man: Iron Man.
Endless: Oh good. Izuru, its him!
Izuru: Smells like an alligator's asshole in here.
Iron Man: I got my bachelors for this.
Endless: I like Candy please.
(Iron Man brings out a bucket of candy)
Iron Man: Enjoy.
(Endless looks in the bucket)
Endless: Damn it, these candies are sugar free.
Izuru: Sugar free!? Diabetus is half my disability check, asshole!
(Izuru throws the bucket of candy at Iron Man)
Endless: Step on it.
(Iron Man steps on it and they drive off)
Iron Man: Are you enjoying the ride so far?
(Endless is seen fanning himself, swearing)
Endless: I need you to turn on the AC, por favor?
(Iron Man turns on the AC. Endless is seen shivering while wearing a jacket)
Endless: Ill need the heater now, please.
(Iron Man turns on the heater)
Endless: Now I need that air again.
Iron Man: I'm choosing to no longer understand english, please.
(The car parks at the apartment and Endless and Izuru enter only to find their apartment door being blocked by yellow tape and Mr. Goodman is seen blocking the door)
Izuru: S***! It's that IRS asshole! How the hell did he find us!?
Endless: What are you doing to our apartment!?
Goodman: You owe 400 thousand dollars in back taxes.
(Endless gasps)
Endless: That's worth everything we own!
Goodman: Yeah which is why we're taking it all.
Izuru: He's stealing our s***!
Endless: You cant steal it from us, we're poor.
Goodman: Oh we're not stealing it. We're auctioning it!
Iron Man: How much for that fountain please?
Goodman: How much do you want to pay?
Iron Man: I have 2 dollars and a bucket of sugar free candies.
Goodman: Sold!
(Endless and Izuru start clapping. They realize what they are doing and stop)
Endless: Wait no! That's our fountain!
Izuru: Yeah you f***ing prick!
Endless: Do you want to take us too while your at it?
(Endless flips Goodman off)
Endless: YOU WANT THIS!?
Goodman: I just need you to pay your taxes.
(Izuru brings out a credit card)
Izuru: We put everything on that!
(Goodman takes the card)
Goodman: Alright, im gonna scan this but if anything fishy comes up-
(Goodman is interupted as Endless and Izuru run for it. It cuts to Endless and Izuru in a forest)
Endless: This is ridiculous Iz, we're actually homeless. Wait! I got just the idea! What if i become an uber driver?
Izuru: Endless, we cant pay off our s*** working for some milenial car service. We need to start our own company!
Endless: That's a good idea! We can run em out of buisness!
Izuru: Ha! I feel a commercial coming on!
(It then cuts to Endless wearing a show person uniform in front of a car)
Endless: You all want to ride somewhere, but dont want to waste time using an app? Introducing, "Endless Rides"! Simply call the number below to reach our friendly dispatcher!
(Endless opens the car trunk where Izuru is in)
Izuru: YOU PROMISED ME AN OFFICE, YOU ASSHOLE!
(Endless slams the trunk shut)
Endless: With me, you can always count on me to reach your destination? Need to use the restroom?
(Endless puts a seat down revealing a toilet seat)
Endless: In an Endless Rod, we aint stopping!
(Endless grabs a pile of dog s*** and throws it in the seat)
Izuru (Voice): WHAT THE F*** IS THAT!?
Endless: "Endless Rides!" We're not the best, but we charge locket! "Wink"
(It cuts to a Man then entering Endless car)
Endless: Welcome welcome! Welcome on board!
(It cuts to another moment where Tyrone is seen entering Endless' car)
Endless: Where ya headed?
Tyrone: 36 Broadway.
(Endless starts talking in a walkie talkie)
Endless: Dispatch, our destination is 36 Broadmore- broad-
Tyrone: -Way.
Endless: I love broadway!
(It shows another moment where a woman is seen entering Endless' car)
Endless: So where ya headed?
Woman: 20 Mushroom Avenue. Im gonna see my ex-husband one last time.
Endless: Alright that should be about a ten minute drive!
Woman: PERFECT!
(The woman then downs a bunch of pills)
Woman: If we time this right, that f***er is gonna open the door at the EXACT moment of my death!
Endless: Oooookay?
(It cuts to when Tyrone was picked up. Izuru is seen still in a trunk reading a map)
Izuru: Take a right on the god damn blue thing on the map!
(Endless is seen reading a map)
Endless: I dont understand what your saying, Iz.
Tyrone: Its literally right up the street.
Endless: Ima do my job, so you can just do yours.
Izuru: Holy s*** this is a god damn map of conneticut.
(It cuts to when the man was picked up)
Man: Dude theres somebody in your trunk.
(Endless is seen with a bunch of maps)
Endless: Hold on please im doing work.
(It cuts to Endless driving with the woman)
Woman: I have poison coarsing through my veins right now!
Endless: Hold on, I need to stop for gas.
Woman: WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR GAS!
Endless: Sorry.
(It cuts to Tyrone's moment)
Tyrone: So what do you do for a living Endless, do you have a girlfriend?
Endless: Well I work at a place called SML Wiki Headquarters though I get in trouble a lot for necroposting, torturing on a character, yadayadayada.
Tyrone: I dont think we have much in common.
(It cuts to the woman's moment where Endless is seen trying to fill up gas)
Endless: Damn it, I forgot my credit card.
Woman: IM LITERALLY DYING IN FIVE MINUTES!
Endless: SOMEONE GOT ANY CASH!?
(It cuts to the man's moment where the man is seen pointing at an area in one of Endless' maps)
Man: I live somewhere right in that little dot.
Endless: That's where gay people live.
(It cuts to the woman's moment where she is seen spazzing out while her mouth is foaming)
Endless: Alright, we're almost there. I just need you to hold it in, okay?
(It cuts to Tyrone's moment)
Tyrone: Your a really interesting guy, Endless.
Endless: Why thank you! I think im interesting too-
Tyrone: HANDS ON THE WHEEL!
Endless: OKAY DONT HURT ME!
Tyrone: JUST DRIVE GOD DAMN IT!
Endless: ALRIGHT, YOU CAN HAVE THE CAR!
(Endless jumps out while Tyrone is left in the car screaming. It then cuts to the woman's moment where the woman is seen dead with Endless driving up to a mansion)
Endless: Alright mam, looks like we're here!
(Endless then sees a man locking the mansion door)
Endless: Oh good! We got here right before your ex left!
(Endless parks the car and walks up to the man)
Endless: Excuse me sir! Your ex wife murdered herself in my car and I really need to use your bathroom.
(The man turns around revealing to be Goodman. Endless and Goodman get shocked)
Endless and Goodman: YOU!?
Goodman: You did WHAT to my ex wife!?
Endless: Hey, she murdered herself in my car I just watched.
Goodman: ... Where is she?
Endless: Are you deaf? I said shes in the back of my car-
(Goodman pushes Endless aside and runs to the car where he sees his ex wife's corpse)
Goodman: OH MY GOD, BABY!
Endless: So is this unlocked or-
Goodman: WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU, CATHLEEN!?
(Goodman turns around)
Goodman: Thank you!
Endless: ... Im sorry?
Goodman: God, I own that bitch so much money! How can I ever repay you?
Endless: We would like our apartment back, please!
Goodman: Sorry, I sold it to a family of 10. 15. F***.
Endless: ...
(Endless is seen barging down his old apartment door)
Endless: WE WANT OUR APARTMENT BAC-
(Endless then sees Tanner)
Endless: WHAT THE!?
Tanner: Where's money that you owe the government?
Izuru: Wow. Assholes come in all sizes.
Endless: We need to speak with your mom and dad! What are you like 6?
Tanner: Im like 7 or 4 or something, dude.
Endless: Oh. WAIT WAIT WAI-
(Tanner slams the door on their faces)
Endless: I cant believe it Iz, we're actually homeless!
Izuru: Oh no. Not again.
Endless: You know what we gotta do right?
Izuru: Yeah!
Endless: Get our house back!
Izuru: Kill that kid!
(Endless and Izuru look at eachother and then look at the reader. The scene then transitions to Bully Bill playing Fortnite with Boko, Black Yoshi, and TrashTalker69 online)
Bully Bill: Sniper on your left.
Boko: Im about to knock this kid down and do the L on his ass.
(Black Yoshi gets knocked out)
Black Yoshi: GAH! HELP ME TRASH FOLK!
TrashTalker69: F*** you. I still dont forgive you for shooting me to death before you got kicked out your house.
Boko: Man, Black Yoshi, you trash.
Lola: (voice) Boko?! Are you playing those video games again!?
Boko: NO MOM! IM DOING MY HOMEWORK! God.
(Boko then gets sniped)
Boko: CRAP! SOMEONE HELP ME!
TrashTalker69: Hang on.
(TrashTalker69 gets sniped down)
TrashTalker69: Damn it.
Bully Bill: You all are complete idiots, i said there was a sniper on your left.
(Bully Bill then gets sniped causing him and his team to lose)
Bully Bill: Damn it.
Black Yoshi: We were top 10!
TrashTalker69: And we lost because of Black Yoshi.
Black Yoshi: KNOW WHAT FOLK!?
(Black Yoshi runs off)
TrashTalker69: Hehe. Loser. Wait what the hell you doing, STAY BACK! MY DAD WORKS FOR THE MARINE CORPS-
(TrashTalker69 is heard getting shot)
Bully Bill: Well im gonna go bully some people now.
Boko: Im just gonna chill for a bit.
Black Yoshi: Theres a new COD map pack coming out and imma beg Mario to get it!
Bully Bill: Alright. Same time tommorow?
Black Yoshi and Boko: Yep.
Bully Bill: Aight.
(Bully Bill leaves the xbox call)
Bully Bill: Now what to do?
(Bully Bill then gets a skype call from his laptop. He answers it. The call is coming from Tanner who has chicken pox)
Tanner: Dude, come over! My entire family is on vacation!
Bully Bill: Why didnt they take you?
Tanner: Cause I have the "chicken socks" or something. Just come over!
Bully Bill: Nah man. The distance between us is too large.
Tanner: Well I guess im going to have all this ice cream and porn by myself!
Bully Bill: What's wrong with you, Tanner? You know I cant refuse this thing!
(It then cuts to Bully Bill at Tanner's front door. Tanner opens the door)
Tanner: Dude come in!
(It then cuts to the two eating ice cream)
Bully Bill: Man i dont think this is ice cream.
Tanner: Well jokes on them cause we cant read.
(The ice cream sign then falls off revealing it to say "Expired Milk")
Tanner: Hey um dude?
(Bully Bill looks at his hands revealing he has chicken pox)
Bully Bill: I think I got the chicken socks.
Tanner: Dude look, theres these weird people outside the door.
(Bully Bill looks through the keyhole and sees two masked people outside)
Bully Bill: Maybe they will go away if we do nothing.
Tanner: Okay then lets do nothing.
(The two do nothing. They then look out the window and the masked people are seen trying to break in the house. The two scream and run to a room)
Tanner: Dude I know! Lets put on the adult channel so they think adults are home!
Bully Bill: Good idea!
(Bully Bill turns on the TV and switches to a channel)
TV Man: Man I sure hope no kids are watching this right now.
TV Woman: Yeah cause im gonna say words like "F***" and "piss" and "c***" and-
Tanner: Dude we shouldn't be watching this we're like two or something!
(A loud banging noise is then heard)
Tanner: W-what was that?
Bully Bill: I-I dont know man.
(The two exit the room and see that the front door is open)
Tanner: Dude, that wasnt open before!
(Tanner runs to the door)
Bully Bill: Dude, dont run in the house!
Tanner: I dont care!
(Tanner then shuts the door. He looks behind him and points behind Bully Bill. Bully Bill turns around and sees the masked people. The masked people then attack Bully Bill and Tanner. It then cuts to Endless outside a tent writing a journal)
Endless: Day of existance 42069. After we were kicked from our apartment, we've been trapped in the wilderness for 3 straight hours. We've been our here so long, Izuru's katana is starting to fossilize.
(It then shows Izuru vacumming the floor while Endless is seen placing with a flag with his face on it)
Endless: (voice) Living in the sticks aint easy, but we make do with trying to keep the place real tidy.
(It then shows Endless' head poking out of a bush)
Endless (Voice): And we had to learn the hard way to do buisness away from camp.
(It then shows Endless finding a dead hiker)
Endless (voice): Luckily a local bear is leaving us hikers to eat.
(Endless then starts dragging the body to camp)
Endless: Izuru! I got us some dinner!
Izuru: Oh god damn im really hungry!
(Izuru starts chopping up the body while Endless looks away in disgust. It then cuts to Endless and Izuru eating soup)
Endless: You know Iz, these human meals are silly and all, but i miss our kitchen.
Izuru: Yeah remember that god damn heat when our refridgerator broke down?
Endless: And all our milk went bad.
Izuru: Yeah and i decided to prank you by sticking that ice cream sign on the expired milk carton. Knew that was a mistake.
(It shows a flashback of Endless eating the "ice cream". His stomach then gets in pain and he runs to the bathroom door which is locked. He starts banging on it)
Endless (Flashback): OPEN UP!
Izuru (Flashback, Voice): OCUPADO!
Endless (Flashback): I DONT SPEAK FRENCH!
(Endless then barges in the bathroom creating an explosion. It then cuts back to present where Endless and Izuru are seen resting in the tent)
Endless: You know the best part about being homeless is remembering when you had a house. You know, I never actually minded being out in the wilderness.
Izuru: Yeah its like we're real men now!
Endless: True-
(The tent then starts shaking as bear growls are heard)
Endless: Oh my word Izuru thats a bear!
Izuru: Oh crap!
Endless: Unforunatley we dont have the budget to hire a real bear, so im gonna have to play him.
(The bear then breaks in only to reveal its endless in a bear onesie)
Endless/Bear: Rawr.
Endless: Oh wow so scary.
Endless/Bear: Up yours d***wad.
(Endless then grabs pepper spray and sprays the bear's eyes)
Endless/Bear: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(It then cuts to Endless and Izuru walking away from camp)
Endless: You know what Izuru, im tired of getting homeless. It's time we get our apartment back!
Izuru: Yeah! Lets scare those damn kids out of our god damn apartment!
(Izuru brings out a bag and opens it revealing some hoodies and two masks. Endless smiles)
Endless: Lets do it!
(Endless and Izuru now dressed in masks and their hoodies are seen walking towards the apartment)
Endless: So Izuru, we're just gonna scare them right?
Izuru: Oh scare kill whatever.
(The two then walk into the apartment. The adult channel is heard playing)
Endless: Shhhh! Iz, do you hear that? It sounds like theres adults in this house.
(Izuru then walks over to the kitchen and sees burnt waffles)
Izuru: LOOK WHAT THESE ASSHOLES DID TO MY GOD DAMN WAFFLES! MOTHER F***ER!
(Izuru throws the pan down in anger creating noise, alerting the kids)
Tanner (Voice): W-what was that?
Bully Bill (Voice): I-I don't know man.
Endless: Shhh, Tanner be quiet! These people sound aggressive!
(Tanner is seen running to the door)
Tanner: Dude, that wasnt open before!
Bully Bill: Dude, dont run in the house!
Tanner: I dont care!
(Tanner closes the door. He turns around and points behind Bully Bill in shock. Bully Bill turns around and sees Endless and Izuru. They attack the two and tie them up)
Tanner: LET US GO!
Bully Bill: Yeah man this is stupid.
Endless: We'll let you go as soon as you convince your family to move out of our apartment!
Tanner: Hey, your those two old ladies that used to live here!
Endless: OLD!?
(Endless and Izuru takes off their masks in anger)
Endless: I AM NOT OLD YOU LITTLE BRAT!
(Endless throws the mask at Tanner)
Tanner: Ow. If you wanted us to leave you should have just said something.
Bully Bill: Yeah man use your words.
Tanner: I hate living here but my parents love it.
Endless: Hmmm. Well it looks like we're gonna have to make this place so unlivable that your own familia will skedadle!
(It then cuts to a montage. Endless is seen connecting trip wires to a door and to a shotgun. Tanner is seen blowtorching a door knob, and bully bill is putting nails on the stairs. Tanner is seen tripwiring a door to a bucket of expired milk and Izuru puts a pole into a toilet)
Tanner: We did it you guys!
Endless: Yes we did! Now your family wont step a foot into this apartment without getting real annoyed!
(Endless and Tanner high five. It then cuts to a breaking news broadcast)
Goodman: Breaking news mkay! Tragedy strikes as a family of 15 is rushed to the emergency room after coming home to a series of home alone traps. With us is someone who saw something.
(It cuts to an interview with Endless)
Endless: Im not sure what just happened but enough is enough and it needs to stop!
(It then cuts back to the apartment where Endless and Izuru now have chicken pox, is seen watching the news)
Endless: It is great to be back in our apartment!
Izuru: True. Feel bad for that family though. We should visit them in the hospital sometime.
Endless: F*ck em.
== Trivia ==
* This short is based off of episode 6-7 of "Stuff and Sam"
* This comfirms Tanner lives in a family of 15.
Category:CuldeeFell Shortz!