A First Session Too Eventful for Our Monkey Brains to Handle!

"A First Session Too Eventful for Our Monkey Brains to Handle!" is the 1st session of Campaign 2.0.
== Summary ==
* We begin our new campaign in the land of Itoa in the city of Wenshire! It’s very agricultural-heavy and an absolute shit-hole as we’ll soon discover. We’re chillin’ in an inn called “Millie’s Respite”, strangers to each other… until we’re not!
* Bryna Novell (Human artificer, played by Joie) is going around from table to table, asking whether anyone heard of anything called a “Birthstone”. While asking around, she meets:
** Ralo Cyrodin, who's busy discussing "business" with an associate of his.
** Leopold Brunswick, who's laughing his ass off at a bar!
** Sulelia Lora Phyra, who's going at it, partying hard!
* Bryna’s search turns out unfruitful… when all of a sudden, a bell outside begins ringing! Holy fuck, Wenshire is being attacked by orcs!
* All of us are pushed upstairs by the crowd. We find one unlocked room, rush inside it and lock the door behind us. It’s pretty cramped. Inside with us is a halfling man and a mother and her son. They’re all scared shitless!
* According to them, orc attacks happen here more often than they should, and as long as you accede to their demands you’ll go unhurt.
* We wait. Commotion is heard from outside the room. Leopold and Sulelia rush outside to confront the orcs! Our first roll for initiative, and the two of them are raring to go and fight something! One of the orcs dashes away with a woman in tow and the other two… drop Leo and Sulelia in combat.
* Bryna and Ralo stay in the back of the room. Ralo is super smooth and tries to chat up Bryna, but she isn’t having it.
* An orc barges into the room. Bryna tosses him a gold pouch full of 300 gold pieces. “You live!” the orc says before rushing off. Ralo and the other folks inside readily hand the orcs their money. The orcs leave the inn soon after.
* Leo summons his trusty steed, Orion! Neigh!
* The gang make their way downstairs. Outside the inn, the orcs are still pillaging the shit out of Wenshire, leaving houses with big ol’ sacks and occasionally taking away women. But hey, not our problem. We play cards to pass the time!
* We take a long rest. Everyone takes turns watching Orion. Sulelia’s turn comes up, and when her shift is over, she realizes that the horse is, uh, gone.
* Leo wakes up in a panic upon hearing the words “horse” and “gone” in the same sentence. He dashes outside to try and find it and follows a trail of hoof prints.
* Sulelia is totally down to help this weird old guy find his horse, and she thinks he’s funny! Ralo and Bryna are a little less willing, but ultimately decide to accompany him.
* ...But after about an hour of aimlessly searching outside the city, we head back to Wenshire. Leo’s pretty bummed about his horse, but Bryna promises to buy him a new one. She’s loaded.
* Eventually arriving back at Wenshire, we stop by the city’s keep where the Lord Dunlorf lives. We’re met with a shut portcullis and guards posted at the entrance telling us to piss off.
* While we’re there, Sulelia uses her divine sense, and… oh shit, she detects three undead beings 60 feet below the surface! We all shuffle away before she relays this to us.
* We head back to Millie’s Respite. Ralo attempts to take a chair from some dude, but said dude ends up being a giant scary goliath man. Whoops! Ralo apologizes and scurries away.
* Bryna asks the goliath whether he’s head anything about a birthstone, and he actually knows something! He tells Bryna that her best bet of learning more about it would be visiting the Temple of Pelor here in Wenshire.
* Leo and Sulelia stay at the inn to arm wrestle, and Ralo goes off and successfully scams some dude out of 200 gold by making up some bullshit drug and selling it to him “in advance”. Sneaky bastard.
* Bryna visits the Temple of Pelor. A priest there tells her that he’s heard of a birthstone located somewhere in the forests near the kingdom of Sylvany. After learning this, she returns to the inn.
* We ask the bartender lady whether she’s heard anything about undead below the city. She suggests that telling Lord Dunlorf is probably a good idea, and we return to the keep to do exactly that.
* We ask for an audience with Lord Dunlorf and are told to wait an hour before our request is processed. We pass the time with conversation, trying to discern exactly what Leopold is — he talks a lot about lovin’ trees and claims he draws his powers from them. Is he a druid? A cleric? Who knows!
* He tries to prove a point by purifying a bottle of water that he pissed in. I mean, he might be a cleric?
* Eventually, we’re let inside the dang place. A guard leads us through the keep to meet with the lord. The place is alright. Like, on the way lower end of a nice place, but still kinda nice. 
* On the way, we see a series of paintings depicting a bunch of folks… Dunlorf, Ramia, Runya, Nyeli, Daron, and Hydar Altec! Bryna grows a little uneasy after recognizing one of these people.
* A loud series of blasts are heard reverberating throughout the corridor, followed by a really pissed female voice shouting “FUCK!” The guard escorting us tells us that it’s just Runya running her wacky experiments. He demonstrates one of them by pulling out a stick that when activated produces a thick plume of smoke.
* We finally meet and talk with Lord Dunlorf. After Sulelia uses her divine sense again and detects three more undead, we’re permitted to go inside the family crypt below to investigate. But not before we draw up a contract that ensures we’ll be rewarded for our efforts! (But it’s mostly to make sure they can’t be held responsible if any of us die down there.)
* Well… we get there, alright. There’s a bunch of shambling undead down there and one deathlock. 
* Bryna readies her weapon, aims it… and a blast rings throughout the enclosed cavern space. Her weapon is a gun called the Thunder Cannon, and she has invented the first of its kind.
* Leopold and Sulelia hack and slash through the undead and Ralo hangs back and shoots arrows through ‘em.
* Combat’s a little rough. And by a little rough, I mean that Leopold and Ralo fucking die to the deathlock after being taken down with necrotic damage.
* Leopold had cast Compel Duel on the deathlock after it went invisible. “Huzzah, now we can kill it,” is what we thought before the monster beat the shit out of Leo, turned his body to ice, and had it shattered into hundreds of frozen meat pieces. Leopold Brunswick is fuckin’ dead.
* Ralo goes down to the spell Chill Touch. It’s important to note that his body was still intact, though.
* Sulelia is the only one left standing when Bryna goes down, too. Sulelia shouts “That’s enough!” and sends her sword straight down through the deathlock, obliterating it.
* Bryna comes back to consciousness and investigates the crypt before leaving. Sulelia samples some of the dirt from the site. Bryna finds a bunch of money, some valuable gems, and a single large gem pulsating with energy. She shoots the thing and destroys it.
* The two aren’t much for mourning strangers they’d just met. Sulelia says she’ll go and see Runya and ask what she can do with the dirt sample. Bryna leaves Sulelia to her own devices for the time being, dragging Ralo’s body behind her.
* Sulelia asks to see Runya and is brought to her lab. Knock knock! A super hot red-haired chick answers the door. And she’s a bitch. Sulelia asks if Runya would like to study the dirt she sampled! Runya doesn’t give a shit. Sulelia also doesn’t give a shit about her attitude. She saunters her way into the lab against Runya’s best efforts to push her out.
* There’s a lot of cool stuff in this lab, and among all the books and sciencey stuff, Sulelia recognizes something shaped like Bryna’s weapon covered up by a tarp. “Hey, my friend B has one of those!” she says.
* “...B? B what?” Runya asks, to which Sulelia replies, “...BRYNA!”
* Runya’s face grows dark. She asks whether Bryna’s here, whether she’s in her estate, before she furiously storms out of the room.
Category:Episodes of Campaign 2.0