The Odyssey

The Odyssey is the thirteenth episode of SBFW Quest. It aired on January 19, 2019 and was written by Purple133.
== Transcript ==
(Episode opens at the ESB castle)
Sean: Oh Golf, it’s time to start the siege!
Golf: Now? Why not wait until tonight?
Sean: Hmmm. True. Well then we shall wait until tomorrow!
(Camera cuts to Lock, Dan, Matchy, and SBCA who are playing Cards Against Humanity at Dan’s place)
Dan: (whispering to Lock) Hey Lock, what did you play? I need to keep SBCA from winning.
Lock: Calamity Eight.
Dan: Thanks.
(Dan chooses Calamity Eight)
SBCA: COME ON LOCK AGAIN?!
Dan: Yeah. He’s good.
Matchy: So good right?
(FDBackup appears outside and jump scares everyone)
Matchy: SHIT!
Dan: CALL THE POLICE!
Lock: WHAT POLICE THIS IS THE 10th CENTURY.
(FDBackup kicks down the door)
SBCA: I payed money for that door!
FDBackup: Ha! The vandalism continues!
Dan: Oh hell no not again, not now.
FDBackup: I know about your silly war, but I just don’t care!
Lock: Hey FD, how would you like to live in a box?
FDBackup: What?
Lock: I don’t know. I forgot where I was going with that.
(FD jumps out the window and vandalizes Dan’s house)
Dan: I paid money for this place!
FDBackup: Trolololoolol.
Lock: Dan we should probably catch him since ya know ESB and Fanonland are legit about to go to war.
Dan: True. Follow him!
SBCA: Wait do I win?
Dan: Yeah sure.
SBCA: HA!
Dan: WAIT.
(Matchy pushes Lock and Dan outside)
Dan: Let’s go.
(Dan finds a random horse)
Lock: Are we just gonna steak this horse?
(Dan takes the horse)
Dan: Yes.
(Camera pans to Purps and Granite in ESB)
Purps: Wait why are we back here?
Granite: For a subplot to a show that’s slowly dying?
Purps: Oh yeah.
Granite: Well I think we gotta escape.
Purps: (sees airships taking off) Look!
Granite: THE WAR OH SHIT!
Purps: What should we do?
Granite: Get back and tell everyone to prep themselves!
Purps: Then let’s go!
(Purps and Granite start walking out of ESB territory when suddenly Sean appears)
Sean: No! I will not have some pesky Fanonlandians disrupting my Invasion today thank you very much. 
Purps: Who are you?
Sean: I’m Sean! I killed your leader?
Purps: Really doesn’t ring a bell.
Sean: Seriously? I thought that might’ve had some emotional impact that would eat you away until I was given the chance to kill you too!
Purps: Why? 
Sean: Good question. Well um, I’ma best you in battle now.
(Granite picks up a stick, throws it at Sean, and Sean trips over a rock sending him straight into a ravine)
Sean: Damn youuuuuuuu! (Falling to the bottom) I had some epic fight planned and special one liners too!
Purps: Whelp. Sucks to suck.
Granite: That was surprisingly easy.
Purps: Yeah considering this ravine is the only thing separating ESB and Fanonland. 
Granite: What do you think is down there?
Purps: Dunno. Some crazy old crackpot told me about a mythical empire called FSB down there. 
Granite: Sounds dumb, now we just gotta cross this ravine, no issue.
(Camera pans to Lock and Dan who are riding after FD on horseback)
FDBackup: YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE BITCHES!
Dan: Wait, what happened to your no swearing rule?
FDBackup: Seemed unnecessary.
Lock: Can you just like stop running and let us put you in prison?
(Everyone stops and both Dan and FD look at Lock like he’s an idiot)
Lock: What?
Dan: Sometimes I worry about you.
Lock: And I worry about Matchy because she faps in class.
(Matchy spontaneously appears)
Matchy: Lock, I will FUCKING MUTE YOU THE OLD FASHION WAY.
(Matchy holds up a knife)
Lock: JESUS CHIRST!
(Lock and Dan ride after FD who keeps throwing banana peels at them)
Dan: Where do you keep getting these bananas from?
FDBackup: My banana bag!
(FD reaches into a backpack he has and pulls out a banana, and then camera pans to Purps and Granite)
Purps: What if we build a bridge?
Granite: How?
Purps: Well there’s a long wood flagpost right here. 
Granite: Yeah let’s do it.
(The two chip down the flagpost and Golf runs out)
Golf: Gasp! How dare you dismantle ESB property as we prepare to invade and destroy your kingdom?
Purps: We need to go home.
Golf: I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.
Purps: Well sucks to suck.
(Granite throws a stick at Golf, but he catches it in between two fingers)
Granite: But how?
Golf: I’ve been training since our last battle boys.
(Golf sprints up to Purps and punches him, sending him flying into the ravine)
Granite: Purps!
(Purps grabs onto the flagpole and stabs it into the wall of the ravine, holding himself just a few feet from Granite)
Golf: See, you guys always underestimate me and now I’m the one who’s about to kick your ass.
(Golf puts on a steel glove and smacks Granite)
Granite: Wait, that’s unfair.
Golf: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
(Camera pans to Dan and Lock, who are arresting FD)
Dan: FDBackup, you have the right to remain silent.
FDBackup: This is the 10th century in some alternate world like Earth. 
Lock: SHUT UP! 
FDBackup: Fine, arrest me. Just remember our truce okay?
Dan: Sure.
(Dan and Lock take FD to jail, and Golf is in a fight with Granite)
Granite: I WILL USE MY FINAL SMASH!
Golf: I have another truck up my sleeve.
(A mega tv screen appears on top of a nearby building and “Overnight Success” starts playing)
Granite: Noooooooo!
(Purps swings up out of the ravine and throws the flagpole javelin style at the tv)
Golf: Hey! That cost money!
Purps: And so will this.
(Purps punches Golf in the face and knocks some of his teeth out)
Golf: OW!
(Purps and Granite run for their lives, making it into Fanonland, and they see Princess Ponyo)
Purps: Princess Ponyo! ESB is planning a siege!
Granite: Yeah, yeah.
Princess Ponyo: This is distressing news. We must stop it! When will it happen?
Purps: Tomorrow?
(A cannonball is fired at the castle and it breaks through a wall)
Purps: Shit.
(Episode ends)
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