Purple Pays

This is the twenty-ninth episode of The SBFW Chronicles and the season 2 premiere.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with Purple133 in the audience at a rock concert)
Purple: Wait why am I here?
13 year old girl: Hi!
Purple: Oh no, I learned from last time not to trust children.
13 year old: You’re a child too right?
Purple: Wellll I am not 18 yet, so I guess so.
13 year old: Do you wanna be friends?
Purple: I guess, sure why not.
13 year old: YAY! Wanna play Roblox?
Purple: Kill yourself.
13 year old: Haha, you’re so funny. Wanna do furry fart roleplay?
Purple: DO I!
13 year old: Great! But just a warning, it gets sexual really fast.
Purple: I like sexual!
13 year old: Then let's get to it!
Purple: Want to come over at my house in my white van?
13 year old: DO I!
(One furry fart role play later…)
Purple: Hot damn that was an epic role play.
13 year old: Yeah, the best part is when you get to fart. (giggles)
Purple: You're so immature.
13 year old: I'm literally thirteen.
Purple: Oh right. Wait shit.
13 year old: Wait shit what?
Purple: Never mind. Yknow, I feel like there's a strong bond forming between us.
13 year old: Wanna date?
Purple: DO I!
13 year old: Oh yeah baby! (Does a fortnite dance)
Purple: I know someone who loves fortnite. You should meet him.
(They hear a hoopla in the distance)
Purple: Orrrr maybe not. Wanna have a sleepover?
13 year old: D- I mean, of course.
(Cut to Joel’s bedroom at 12:06 am, where they are both in bed, playing Smash Bros)
Purple: Ha! I'm totally smashing you tonight!
13 year old: You sure are!
Purple: I uh… didn't mean it like that.
13 year old: Sure you didn’t. It’s fine though, we can smash tonight if you want for real.
Purple: 😳
13 year old: 😏
Purple: Y’know, people keep accusing me of being a pedophile, but they don’t understand that this is a very awesome relationship.
13 year old: Yuh. Now let’s sex.
(Cut to sex. End of sex)
Purple: Hot DAMN. That was amazing.
13 year old: You’re telling me. By the way, how old are you?
Purple: 17.
13 year old: Eh, I’m sure it’ll be fine. See you tomorrow!
Purple: Later, tater.
(The 13 year old gets up and exits the house. Purple sighs happily)
Purple: This is the start of a beautiful relationship…
(Zee next morning…)
(A rooster screams in agony, and Purple wakes up and stretches and yawns)
Purple: Another beautiful day in the world of Joel. I’m gonna meet up with that girl again.
Officer: Oh no you won’t. We’ve heard from all over town, and we’re here to arrest you!
Officer 2: What’s wrong with pedophilia?
Officer: How do you still have a job?
(Officer 2 shrugs, then Officer 1 arrests Purple)
Purple: But- but I’m not even 18 yet!
Officer: Tell it to the judge, nonce!
(Purple sighs in defeat. Cut to him in a jail cell with someone else)
Purple: Well there goes all my dreams of becoming a Shrek character. Maybe next year…
???: Hey buddy, what are you in for?
Purple: Well, I dated and fucked a 13-year-old. You?
???: Offended sex.
Purple: What is your name, sir?
???: Ken. Ken Stringfellow.
Purple: I’ve heard a lot about you. You sure are a sex offender.
Ken: Could say the same thing about you. Y’know, I’ve always wanted to meet the town of SBFW.
Purple: I don’t think most people there would like you. Although most people there ‘’are’’ sex offenders…
Ken: I’ll think on it.
Warden: Joel C? The 46th President of the United States is here to let you go.
Purple: No capping?
Warden: No… “capping”.
Purple: YIPPEE! I’m free once again!
(The warden lets Purple get out of the jail cell, and he runs out of the prison)
Ken: Wait, what about me?
Warden: Oh, you’re going to be here for a long time, buddy.
(Ken turns into Dream Stringfellow as the episode ends)
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