Dilithium

Dilithium is a vital component of making ships go at Warp lots. While often located nearby, this unusual substance has the property of never being there when you really need it. Engineers often say that this stuff somehow controls the reaction of antimatter and matter in a warp core while, in reality, this magical stuff does all the work.
==History of Dilithium==
In the ancient past warp cores required lithium crystals to function, allowing starships to travel at a whopping Warp six for minutes on end. While far more common than Dilithium crystals, ships continually ran out of lithium crystals due to many engineers breaking them up and swallowing them to help with the depression of being a Starfleet engineer, being forced to wear a Red Shirt, and always having to fix the warp core during its hourly breakdowns. Eventually Starfleet caught on to this fact and implemented the use of Dilithium crystals.
Dilithium crystals, while still possessing the ability to fight depression, were just radioactive enough to give Starfleet Engineers delusions of being good at their jobs, thus enabling other crewmembers to feel safe as the engineer hammered on the plasma conduits with a broken pipe.
Eventually, Starfleet Captains came to realize that Dilithium was an essential part of their ship and promptly started to install spinners on the dilithium chamber, thus ensuring that their pimped-out warp core would always look like it was moving, even when it wasn't.
==Future of Dilithium==
The future of Dilithium is uncertain now that a new substance called Trilithium is coming into use. Trilithium, while being able to do lots more stuff, has proven extremely popular among Starfleet Captains due to its effect of blowing up stars.
==How Dilithium Works==
Dilithium has a well known physical property of being everywhere but where you are when you need it. Warp cores are built around this principle, using that property to move the ship by creating an environment where dilithium is needed just a few feet behind the ship, forcing the dilithium and the attached ship to move away from that point in space towards the intended destination. While many complain about how inefficient this process is, no one in Starfleet cares enough to find an alternative to this cheap form of propulsion.
==Facts about Dilithium==
*Dilithium makes ships go fast.
*Dilithium makes a great table decoration.
*Dilithium fights depression when ingested.
*Dilithium causes mild hallucinations when ingested.
*Dilithium can be everywhere in the universe except where it is needed.