Internet vs Music

== Transcript ==
For years, I've had a bit of a love-hate relationship with what the Internet has done to music. On one hand, it's made music more accessible than it was back in the day when we'd have to borrow our friend's CDs or tapes to discover something new, or wait until we were old enough to be open-minded enough to check out our dad's album collection, and realize there's some really cool shit in that old crate, and that's great. There's a lot of bands and music that I might not have discovered by myself without the internet, or it would've taken a lot longer. But on the other hand, it's allowed everyone with a microphone, a computer program, and/or a shitty old guitar to self publish. There was a time when you actually had to work at becoming known, and I don't really distinguish the difference between being known and famous, because really, what's the difference? If many people know who you are, and you don't know any of them, then you're at least slightly famous, that's how it's always worked. But it's come to a point now where everyone believes that Andy Warhol's "In the future, everyone will be world famous for fifteen minutes" quote should apply to them. And I know how ironic and slightly hypocritical it is for me to be talking about this on the internet, since I would probably not be heard otherwise, but whatever. I'm using the technology against itself, so shut the fuck up. Anyway, the Arctic Monkeys are considered to be one of the first bands who sort of "got famous" with the internet. And I remember when this first happened, I was like, alright, these guys are pretty good but that's too easy! Not going the standard "grind it out in clubs for half your career before a label finally gives you a shot" route, it's going to lead to some shitty music being made. And here we are, it's 2011, six years since "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor" was released, and I was abso-fucking-lutely correct with my prediction. I've talked about Rebecca Black, and I don't even wanna legitimize her as a so called "artist" by even saying her name anymore. She's a little brat who became famous by making a really shitty song and going viral, quite a bit different than how Michael Jackson or Madonna stared their pop careers. I'm sure you all know who Soulja Boy is, well, I'll tell you right now, you wouldn't if it wasn't for the web. You have that Jenna Rose girl -- twelve million views, way more than a video she made would've ever got in the MTV days, and again, not a legitimate artist, just some little girl who made an awful song and everyone's laughing at it, but who cares? Fame is fame -- you know her name, it occupies space in your memory now, regardless of her talent, and that's all that matters. And look at this shit. Here's Lady, a woman -- who I use that term loosely for -- who I'd have never've heard about in my life if it wasn't for the internet. Here's sixty seconds of the song Yankin'. [clip of Yankin' plays] I'll give her points for being creatively vulgar, but her voice is annoying, the writing is terrible, she's got a look in her eye like she has no idea where she is or what she's doing, she can't dance, she's the absolute embodiment of how someone with no talent can be somewhat enhanced with technology, then self published, and get known. Over 600,000 views on this one, it's not blowing up the internet, but that's about 500,998 more people that would've listened to this if it wasn't for the internet, and that's assuming she's got a friend that would humor her by listening to the whole thing before saying, "Yeah, uh, it's good!" before looking at their watch and claiming they had somewhere to be. And what the fuck? Her "pussy be yankin'"? Who wants a vagina that's gonna be ripping your dick off anyway? Who thought that this song was a good idea in the first place? When I hear it, all I can picture is that her vag is like the queen alien from Aliens -- you know, with the little mouth -- grabbing my cock and ripping back. You yank the cord of a mower to start it, women, you don't yank a guy's penis, ever! It'd be like a guy writing a song about using your ears as handles while they fuck your face. No girl wants that! Anyway, this is what I mean when I say "love-hate relationship with what the internet has done to music". Is it worth bands like the Arctic Monkeys being discovered, when the byproduct is garbage like Rebecca Black, Jenna Rose, Lady, or Soulja Boy becoming famous? I don't know the answer to that -- ultimately, the ones with talent will still have longevity while the no talent hacks will make fast money and probably blow it on a bunch of shit before being poor and unknown again. But the internet has become like trying to find a diamond in a twenty foot high manure pile. You have to wait through a lot of shit to find the good stuff.