Scourge of Avalon

= Avalon Fall '21 - Spring'22 (Lune 15th 3124 - Hesin 3rd 3124) =
The Blood War between demons and devils has been waged for ages.  By some uncertain circumstances, demons have won.  No sooner did they claim The Nine Hells did demons declare the material world to be their next target.  Our party is just trying to survive the scourge of avalon.
Camp Trip to The Milaukee Sex Dungeon
Characters
Ash try and reconnect to old "friends" find a way to not be corrupted.
Art trying to be better then those before, knowing at what cost he's paid to play the protector of the nine, to fight a war no one is meant to win. and keep a balance that is always trying to tip in the "wrong" direction
Digs - no gods no masters
Duraz - fighting the good fight and be a beacon of hope
Jables - becoming a deity of "unlimted power and persuasion"
Kirin - burying the past in hope of building a better future
Lady Zo - keeping the balance in her own lands, better and more structured then what she saw before
Melek - Protecting those who need her most, and not getting bogged down with the messy game that the gods play.
Ridley - beginning anew, one day and one step at a time
Ty - Emboldening anyone who will listen about the tale of the 6 who fought the demon apocolypse back, giving everything they had so they can grow through that loss.
10 "heroes" set out on this journey, but only 6 turned into Heroes to be proud of. Some habits die hard. Sometimes, hope just isn't enough, but for some, that's all they have.
== Season 1 - Fall 21': Lune 15th - Lune 27th 3124 ==
=== Book 1: Steal Away and Pray 10/03/21 (Lune 15th, 3124) ===
Our party are refugees who survived the siege of Arroyo and hid away in the mountains. It's been one month and it doesn't seem like they're getting out any time soon.
Session notes:It's 2:28. Where the fuck is Dan?
3:22 we complete the RAW Arbiter test. Nat gets 25/33, beating Chip(24), Chris(24), and Matt(13)
Vix inks the Init Tree names. We run out of the plastic plates. Dan doesn't know where the rest are. Clothespins it is.
3:38 hey, let's start the campaign.
Town of Arroyo, east of the Dragonspine Mountains in Gaul, Mayor Jode
We have spent one month so far holed up in the Crichton Mines, a de facto hermitage, home to Kostya
Church of Pelor burned up, the Reverend Zeta is in the mines with us, and has converted a hall of the mines into a space for all kinds of worship.
Mrs. Wilson, school teacher. Lost her whole family, but brought the schoolchildren to the safety of the mines.
We report to Captain Ermy, retired Gaulish veteran, who pines for The Good Old Days.
800-900 total people. Bioluminescence. 80 years since opal supply ran dry. Our supply stores should last indefinitely while supplemented by the mushrooms.
(Chris) Lady Franchezka Zo, Muppetborn Wizard nobility, not from around here. Mostly agreeable, but avoids doing things herself, relying on Unseen Servant or delegating tasks to others.
(Evie) Ty, Goliath. Paladin of Church of Pelor. Helps train the children.
(Vix) Ash, Druid, played by Charlie Day. Fan of the Solitaire legends. Claims they once met Solitaire in a library, won't elaborate.
(Mike) "Meowdy, pardner." Kirin Ryder, Tabaxi cowboy. 20's, but old soul. Performed with a wild west show, then Something-Dazzlers? Sharpshootin' skills, harmonica.
(Nat) Melek al-Hashim, appears human, always thought she was human, but divine powers awakened recently. Enthusiastic about getting out there to act against the demon invasion.
(Casey) Jables, Jack Black, Halfling Bard. Middle-aged, travels to find the Woods of Holly. Tries to get along with everybody, including the kids.
(Matt) Digs, Kobold, actually 903 year old Red Dragon, really long actual name "But you can call me digs." Bad-tempered, doesn't socialize much. Getting very bored. Burning whatever materials he can find.
(Kiel) Duraz Baldrek. Dwarf Cleric. Is Macho Man Randy Savage. His father was Sir Handsome Brahm the Strong. Acclaimed Wrestler. Word of Kord. Wants to get out and bring it to the demons, would dig his way out if no one stopped him. Teaches children to wrassle. Is attempting to brew a mushroom beer. Gets along with Lady Zo as fellow nobility.
(Chip) Ridley Kemp, Tortle Monk, mid-20's. "It's the end of the world, fuck it, let's get drunk." Sleeps off his drunkeness pretty often. Aussie accent.
(Andre) Art, Tiefling. They look 26, 6'7". Teaches kids survival skills. Is often the one stopping Duraz from digging us out. Often names demonic captains, showing some familiarity (at least, if you recognize those names).
(Cari) San, short for Sanguinaira. Half-elf warlock. Drunk a lot, doesn't give a shit.
The more athletic of the bunch rolled to determine who wins their frequent wrestling matches.
We begin. Making our daily, regular patrol. Entrance still guarded by grasping mushrooms. To the Church of Pelor, but the Reverend Zeta says it's nondenominational. Don't see anyone, but faint scratching from the ceiling noticed by some. A hole up there, 15 feet high. Ash sends Sir Hiss up there via Melek's outstretched quarterstaff. "Ah! A snake!" Rocks and snake fall. The Reverend Zeta is up there. "I'm planning a surprise for the service!" Shimmies down a rope. 21 Insight. He's up to something, perhaps not nefarious, though. We chat. Digs checks the rocks for minerals. Nothing.
We generally leave Kostya alone by his request. Carry on to the school. Recess. Probably 60 kids.
- Break for grilled cheese dinner! -
Kids are playing, jumprope and stuff, and some are playing bouncebox (foursquare). Commotion arises, and the kids are immediately at one another's throats. Melek goes to break them up. One complains that the other is making up rules. The teacher is nowhere to be seen. The bigger one, Cully, is in the king square. The smaller one is complaining that he can't follow rules that are only declared after they're violated. Ash goes in to find the teacher, who returns to find Duraz has created a wrestling circle for them to settle things. She considers this handled and dips out.
Melek coaches Steven. Duraz coaches Cully, to be fair. (Nat wins the roll) However, Steven bites Cully, so the adults stop them again.
The Reverend Zeta comes by looking for the teacher. He is pointed to her.
Cully calls out Steven for being an ORPHAN. Duraz is having NONE OF THIS. Cully doubles down with the verbal abuse. Digs snaps at him, sending Cully off yelling that he's telling his mom. Steven cries and runs inside.
The reverend comes out with a vessel of cooled iron slag. We question this. Go and find where it's been dripping in. Is this the molten lead that has been raining from the sky?
Lady Zo offers to shape water to try and cool and seal the drip. Calls for Chadwick to get her water. Is reminded there is no Chadwick. Orders the Tortle to get her water. "Fuck you!" "Fuck YOU!" After a lot of back and forth, and orphans learning colorful language, the Goliath offers to get a bucket of water, as do two others. Lady Zo moves the water up to the aperture and freezes it in place.
The group goes to check the water supply, just to ensure nothing similar is contaminating it. It seems we're safe in that regard.
We discuss what to do next. Talk to the hermit? See if there are other places this is seeping in? Check on the Reverend Zeta's surprise?
We go to the church. No father Zeta. Holler up the hole. Duraz orders him down. Digs explains we're concerned about the number of holes in the ceiling. Duraz persuades him to spill the beans. Borrows Melek's stick and gets on Ty's shoulders. Opens a hole to let a weak beam of sunlight into the room. Duraz explains why this is a bad idea, but he says the light is refracted.
Art goes up to see. Mirrors, baseball-sized hole, overhang so it can't be seen from the sky. We squabble over whether this should be closed. Decide it needs no immediate action, but best to report to Kostya.
Kostya is unconcerned, thinks it funny the Reverend Zeta has been climbing in the ceiling. He confers with his mushrooms, there's no problem, no changes to the cave system, will put some sentry shrooms there because it can't hurt.
We check the plug. The ice is holding so far.
We continue our rounds. All good so far. Head to the west living quarters. It's described as being like a refugee camp or the situation after a natural disaster. We hear some banging coming from the connected east living quarters, like hammering wood. So we continue onward.
Mayor Jode is the one building something. Helping Meredith, making a mattress bad from old grain cases. Melek mentions the surprise. Digs spoils it. The mayor seems interested, happy at the thought of seeing the sun.
Art points out the possibility of sound exiting through the hole.
No sign of Cully and his mom Susan.
We continue our traipsing. The lounge. Some teens here. Melek barely manages to resist playing jacks with them. Head to the kitchen. Susan tells us we can't have any until dinner. Digs tells her off. She insults him back. Yikes.
We hang in the dining hall until dinner. Come the bell, everyone but Kostya is there, which is normal. As we eat, Susan comes and sits with us. Digs tells her she can't sit at the guard table. Duraz refutes this, invites her to sit. She wants to discuss the incident at school. Duraz explains it, counters her when she says that's not what Cully said. We assure her Steven was punished.
"Cully, come here!" Duraz:"Please don't." "Cully, do you have something to say?" "Sorry." Zo:"...for?" "...fighting?" Duraz has a heart-to-heart with Cully. Goes for the fist bump.
"I miss Spencer and Dad. Do you think the food's as good in THEIR shelter?" Digs:"There's another shelter?" All:"Shhhh!"
Return to the church. No sunlight. Nighttime, maybe? Melek chucks Digs up there. There is light coming in, but the last mirror is turned so it doesn't reach the room now. Weaker light, probably sunset. Still the sounds of raining fire outside. The guard shrooms are in place here now. Digs can't hear us talking from up there, so maybe sound escaping isn't a concern after all.
Ty attempts to catch Digs jumping back down, rolls a 7. They fall on their asses but take 0 damage.
The hole that had been dripping is still plugged. Digs collects the water bucket he left there, now full from the water that dropped when the hour passed and the ice returned to liquid.
We retire for the pseudo night. Ermy starts his nightwatch. Wait, no. He's going to bed. We set up watch order. Melek+Art, Ty+Kirin, Ash+Duraz.
During second watch, screaming is heard from somewhere in the cave. Ty and Kirin roll to perceive where this is coming from. 15. One of the living quarters? Kirin runs ahead and Ty wakes the rest of us. People are running in droves from the west living quarters. "MONSTERS! DEMONS!!" We all ready our weapons and pass them. Making it to the eastern quarters, there are 3-4 people on the floor, one person being wrapped in webbing by a horse-sized spider, one of three in the room. Roll initiative.
We fell the spiders. The four people have been paralyzed with poison but are stable, an effect that Art kept experiencing during combat. Melek rolls Survival to try and determine where they got in, discovers a crack in one of the bathrooms. Chucks some light in there, finds a larger cavern below. The opening is too small for a medium humanoid. Melek tries to coerce Digs into there, who cat-refusing-carrier does not agree to this. We opt to go report to Ermy before investigating further.
Encounter the displaced people at the dining hall. Susan pulls a knife on Kirin, demands he prove he's not a demon. We calm their fears. Tell them to stay where they are for now. We also move the paralyzed people to be tended to by them.
While making his way to see Ermy, Kirin finds Cully near the mine entrance, wrapped in mossy tendrils. Kirin tries to cut him free, and the vines attempt to wrap him as well. He evades them and continues trying to free Cully. Succeeds. Brings Cully to Ermy, wakes him. "This kid's dead." Asphyxiated recently.
=== Book 2: Lay This Body 10/10/21 (Lune 14th - Lune 17th 3124) ===
The peace of the Crichton Mines was fragile at best. In between an adjacent spider warren and a dead child, things might be more volatile in the warren than they would have been outside!
Session notes:Kiel deputizes Nat as next week's mayor in his expected absence.
Kirin and Ermy bring Cully's corpse and rejoin the group at the kitchen. Susan's scream attracts the attention of those who were left guarding the crack in the washroom.
Kirin is explaining to Susan what happened. "On the BRIGHT side, our defenses are good." Yikes. A reroll makes Mike's Persuasion a nat20. But he does go on to indicate that the fungal defense killed him. She demands we fetch Kostya and bring him to justice for the death of her son. We argue this and upset her to the point of her scooping up her boy and running off with him.
Ash discusses a plan to enlarge the opening and try reasoning with the monsters in the form of a spider. We alternately could seal the hole, but claiming this space could be beneficial to all of us in the long run.
We discuss setting the Alarm spell and going once we've finished our night's rest. Mayor Jode comes, asks if we need anything. He'll keep others away from this washroom.
We stay the night nearby. Melek and Duraz go to talk with Susan. She's holding her son. Melek gives the equivalent of trying to comfort her by suggesting that this all being part of God's plan, in this case the Night Queen's. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but..." Duraz offers to prep a service for Cully. "In the morning." He promises we will be seeking absolute justice. Please don't fly off the handle and do this yourself. Persuasion12. "Justice will come in the morning... I have your word?" We're gonna go exterminate those spiders first. See you in the morning.
(We set a regular watch order and a regular marching order so we don't have to reestablish them every time.)
Once we've all had our rest, we grab a quick breakfast. Breakfast is somber. One of those who were paralyzed in last night's attack is there, Pauly Shore. He's doing alright. It's not an exciting breakfast. Mayor Jode (played by Jim Varney) comes in. "Sleep alright? No ruckus? There's been ruckus all morning here. Susan is out for blood with Kostya, believes he will kill us all with his reckless, Pagan ideas." Duraz:"JULIUS J KORD, I thought we DEALT with this last NIGHT." "I've arranged for her to bring the boy to the Reverend Zeta to prepare a ceremony, and for him to stay with her. And to Take. His. Time. Doing So." We discuss the reasons cremation may be a bad idea in our situation. Also, water interment. We eventually agree that handling the current situation may provide greater insight, or perhaps a better location to lay him to rest, so let's do that first.
Mold Earth is not enough to do anything to the crevice. But we scrounge up five pickaxes, and the more athletic of us take swings at it in a skill challenge. It's widened so now medium-sized characters can squeeze through, and those who didn't break their tools have pickaxes now. We descend. Duraz casts Light on his pickax, Melek on her brooch.
Some rolls determine that, yet, there has been skittering through the next passage. Ty takes the lead. Hear movement in the stone around us. We all make Stealth rolls, and the lowest is a 3. Eep. While crawling through this route, we are beset by spiders! Roll initiative.
We fell five large spiders while most of us are crawling. Digs and Duraz do a quick search for precious minerals, Digs to find them and Duraz to hide them from the kobold. Digs asks Ty to extract a nice vein he finds, and Ty is happy to oblige, but Ash convinces him not to do anything noisy until we believe our task is complete.
We move along and open into a cavern with a stream moving through it. There are what appear to be egg sacs in various places. Digs attempts to set fire to them, misses, but hits the webbing which ignites. 14 spiderlings swarm out. Initiative.
They swarm us with the same paralytic poison nonsense. Melek enrages, a rarity.
Once we fell them, we take a short rest to let the paralyzing poison effects wear off and recover our stamina. We inspect the room. There are other possible passages that could accommodate spiders but not adventurers. Duraz a-Lights a spider limb and tosses it into one of the passages, finds that it curves upward. Digs has us tie a rope to him for fast extraction and crawls in to investigate. Terrible Perception roll, sounds quiet! Continues. It opens 20 feet upward into a larger cavern, no light source. Hears nothing still. Fires a crossbow bolt. Nothing responds. Digs returns, demands a fist-sized opal for his services, which Ty goes back to retrieve. Taken.
He records a message to it, triggered when someone picks it up. "I will grant the ultimate power if you spill your blood." Puts it away for later.
There are another (rolls) two tunnels. Digs checks one that turns left, then left again. Comes back.
Checks the other. Goes in a bit, turns down. Can't see bottom. Drops a pebble that falls until he can't hear it. Returns to report. We discuss. Make a lot of noise, attract nothing. Digs then crawls in the last hole again with an illuminated spiderling corpse to drop, but finds another large spider beyond the bend this time and is attacked. Tugs the rope for extraction, except Dan declares he needed to "ready" this action. But when the rope is suddenly being pulled rapidly from within, Melek tries pulling him out, with Ty running over to assist. Even then, it requires Andre's reroll not to lose our kobold companion. NAT20! We recover him, partially-webbed and paralyzed. Ty takes his pickaxe and starts collapsing that opening. With Melek and Duraz assisting, they shove enough rubble in the way that it should have a lot of trouble making it in here now.
After some discussion, people decide they are done with this. We go back out the tunnel we crawled through, then close that off. We still have this room behind the washroom.
Go to Kostya's room to speak with him. He was told not to use any more sentry mushrooms for sensitivity reasons. But he agrees to ask the mushrooms to close up the hole behind the washroom. In asking the mushrooms, he learns about the spider attack last night. Digs asks if the mushrooms know what made the tunnels. They know, but there is no equivalent word in the Common tongue. Digs keeps pushing, but all we get is that it was big-ish. "Is what created the tunnels still here?" They say it was gone for many cycles. Yes, it has returned.
We head toward the school to check on the drip, find Susan along the way with a candle near the entrance, in an apparent vigil. We mostly leave her be, some do signs of blessing. The drip is still halted.
Things are normal in the church. The Reverend Zeta is there. He figures one dead kid during the apocalypse is not bad, numbers-wise. Digs asks about the burial plans. Is worried that any burial attempt may breach another chamber, release something worse into the mines. "I had an idea." He was considering offering the corpse it to the sun. Wink. Digs is stuck on the image of firing him from a cannon, but "returning him to the sun" essentially means getting him up into the ceiling tunnel and probably feeding him to the sentry shrooms.
We discuss how to manage this feat for the funeral. Digs is not terribly interested right now in going up there again, ignoring that Art has also been up there.
We check the washroom. The aperture is closed. Drag the spider corpses to the mushroom habitat where they are devoured. As the day draws to a close, we see Susan is still keeping her vigil, but the candle has burned down and out and she is asleep. Duraz lights another as Digs touches her to be sure she's alright. She wakes, thanks Duraz. Melek sits by her. The rest of us return to the barracks. Start first watch. Ty comes to relieve Melek when it's his turn.
Melek then has "this fucking dream." Sitting in the entrance to the mines. No mushrooms, just the rubble wall. Opposite that, the hallway normally there extends forever. She sees a light coming from behind her, at the rubble wall. She starts digging at the wall, sees the light begin to shoot the rocks off the wall. Hears a voice on the other side, bellowing "COME AND SEE!" Does not recognize this voice. A burst, all the rocks are gone, the brightest white she's ever witnessed, burns away her flesh, bones, and she wakes.
"HWAAH!" Some of us wake. Melek starts insisting we need to get out of here. Others try to coax her back to sleep for now. Duraz gives a rousing speech about kicking demon ass... in the morning.
Nothing else of interest. Morning comes. The funeral service isn't until the afternoon. Susan is still keeping vigil. Ash got up early to help in the kitchen while Susan is absent.
At the church, the Reverend Zeta asks Jables to help with this. Digs offers to go up with Jables, which prompts Zeta to just have Digs do this so Jables can play a dirge instead. Zeta then asks Duraz to deliver the eulogy, since he doesn't want this to seem Pelor-specific. Duraz puts on his vestments.
People start filing in, but Susan is nowhere to be seen. Zeta goes to find her, Art joins. She's sitting at the entrance still. Zeta addresses her. "I'm not going. I lost my husband and both my sons." She plans to continue sitting here so no one else has to die. Zeta tries to persuade her. "No." Ash (here now as well) offers to take her place, she refuses.
Back at the church, Zeta seems to be at a loss. Duraz:"Must the show go on?" He begins his send off. "...killed before his time, by sentry mushrooms, that we all knew were there."
Zeta gives the signal to summon the sunbeam. Does the pulley thing to raise Cully to the sun.
Some of us start to smell smoke. Susan has set the mushrooms on fire and is pulling stones from the rubble. Ash gets there first, casts Friends. "He's on the other side!" Art, also there, draws his sword and attacks to knock her out with their hilt. Ash catches her.
There... IS a voice on the other side. "This is Spencer!" What.
=== Book 3: He Is Calling Me 10/17/21 (Lune 18th 3124) ===
Just as our party thought their problems with lost children were done, another one shows up to complicate things!
Session notes:We are all at the cave entrance, and we all hear the voice. The Tieflings discuss a plan. Melek wants to start digging out the entrance, but Art stops her.
Digs looks through a crack. Sees a boy with a giant stockpot next to him. He looks like he's probably been also living a month in poor conditions. The boy appears to notice something coming, pulls out and fires a musket.
The party starts moving rocks. Lady Zo starts casting a ritual spell to help move things.
Gun clicking, empty. Abyssal voice:"Hello, little mouse. Thought you could hide from us?" Hear something large and winged land. Ash responds, attempting to intimidate, tells the apparent demon HE BELONGS TO US. Nat20! We hear a scream, like an ear-shattering bird call. Stunning screech of the Vrok. Several of us, and the boy, are affected and stunned. The demon, now speaking Common, "We'll play more later, kid." Dips out. We continue digging. Melek pokes out, wills him to come to her. Perception11. Pulls him in. Art uses Manifest Echo to teleport out there to grab his things and pops back.
Ash checks over "Spencer" to see if anything seems amiss about him. Investigation4, kid looks great! Medicine13, he's emaciated a bit and dirty. Digs pilfers the travel bag, takes two rounds of ammo.
Tensir's Floating Disc is here now, but Melek's healed and woken Susan, who rushes over to embrace Spencer. Most are refilling the hole. Susan thanks everyone, scurries away with him. 
We discuss things. Rush over to Kostya. Bring him up to speed on what just happened. Ash goes into a flurry, Kostya responds veeeery laid baaack. "OK, let's go." Kostya is Stephen Wright. He offers that he could seal it more strongly, but it would never be an exit again. We discuss it, agree that if demons know we are here through this entrance, closing it off and creating another entrance elsewhere and later may be the best option. Kostya seals it, ten feet "thicc" and posts mushrooms.
It is determined the child used the pot as a helmet against the raining lead. We decide to go and have the paladin take a look at him to detect good and evil. The Tieflings opt to hang back, though mechanically they aren't fiends so this doesn't matter. Ty asks him to tell the tale of how he got here.
He and his dad had taken refuge in the shed. Food ran low. Dad went to look for food, told Spencer to head for the mountain if he doesn't return. That was a couple days ago. Spencer did as he was told.
(We discuss how often the lead rain is striking stuff, necessary because people are trying to find flaws in his story.)
We reconvene and all are brought up to speed. Digs is still hung up on possession, Nat20 whether a Vrok could do this, they do not have this innate ability but demons can do "all kinds of fucky shit." 
Melek heads back to the church. Many people still there following the funeral. Talks to the Reverend Zeta, who's heard that we had another light join us. Melek tries to argue that maybe we should try and send out scouting parties, Zeta disagrees. "The souls that are in this cave, they are not mine to wager. I can't risk snuffing out the light." Melek wants to see ther mayor next.
The Tieflings discuss whether the child might have made a deal with a demon to be brought to his mom, and what the ramifications for this may be. As they argue/discuss, Mayor Jode walks up. "Am I interrupting something?" Nope! The rest of the party finds them all here.
"I understand we have a new resident, and we have no option of escape." Melek makes the pitch to put it to vote whether to create a new opening to send out recon parties. Lady Zo suggests that perhaps, if that is done, it should be done clandestinely instead. Melek seems OK with this. And no, let's NOT consider the church sun-hole for this.
We discuss reopening the lower system and continuing exploration. Or following the flow of the water with Ash's animal forms. Digs ties several ropes together, rolls for the various knots. We're sending the tortle and druid-as-newt down the flow. Because this is a good idea(?).
They make it down the way. Come back for Light. Go again. Make it the full 450 feet, nothing to be found at the end. Perception. Ash can hear something farther on in the distance. Talking? In Abyssal? "...he...leaving..." They give a tug, are pulled back up. Ash shares what was observed.
We look for the mayor for more rope. He's got another 150 feet of it.
Digs ties it. We go through our belongings and leave behind the things we don't want coming on our aquatic adventure. We proceed. Comes to an end at a motionless lagoon. There are bats near a shore. Ash quietly swims over to them to use Speak with Animals, but they respond in Common their intent to devour our flesh. Oh, it's combat time... after this break!
Ash attempts to Persuade the "bats" to hear us out, but they want none of it. Game on.
The "bats" burn away to nothing when slain. We progress to shore and see that there is a passage beyond.
It grows narrow. Dank. No sign of life (or spiders) but getting warmer. Level grade. Spider-holes. Eventually opens into a larger chamber, Abyssal words on the wall. The leaders walk into the room, triggering a readied action. Ty is paralyzed. "All Glory and Honor to Hondu, Lord of the Flesh, etc."
Six cultists. Digs begins by cannonballing the one that paralyzed Ty down him immediately, and the cultists responded by focusing on the kobold. Once he's healed, Digs employs his Opal of Power gambit, deceiving Cultist 3 into drawing his own blood to try and activate the thing. This proves seriously amusing.
We subdue the final caster and knock him out cold. These were humans.
We interrogate that last one. He spouts the glory of Hondu. This is the demon Hondu's cave, and they were placed here to protect the place. They've always been here. He wrote Hondu's name in his own blood all over the walls. This guy isn't going to tell us anything useful. Andre wins the new initiative roll to have Art run their sword through the dude.
We opt to attempt a long rest here. Lady Zo casts Alarm encompassing the area of the passage leading farther beyond here.
Melek is having difficulty with her having slain two people. Kirin and others try to talk her through it, put things into perspective. Nat rolls low on their Religion roll to see if Melek buys this. Guess that sounds right!
Some of us roll Arcana on Hondu. Best we can recall is he's the equivalent of a demon alderman.
Melek and Digs bring the bodies to the lagoon to lay them to rest. She notices something is coming in with the water. It's described as gallons and gallons of human vomit. (How do we know this? It contains mushrooms?)
=== Book 4: Hard to get Along 10/24/21 (Lune 18th 3124) ===
The Crichton Mines has a new resident and some new neighbors! Can any of them be trusted, though?
Session notes:Some go to take a look at the vomit stream. Seems like one person's doing, but a full stomach's worth. Ultimately, a body flows in! It's Ermy! We make his death saves for him leading up to this moment, three successes. Melek drags him to land. Looks like his face has been beaten hard. Melek heals him without realizing her ability. "the kid... THE KID! The kid's gone crazy!" "He just started puking, like every ounce of everything inside of him!" Ermy had tried checking on him, and Spencer decked him.
We all start clambering up the rope. Another body, a redshirt, (roll roll roll) and dead. Ty grabs him.
We return to the end of our rope. Spencer is there, gripping an adult, and headbutting the piss out of him. Initiative.
Ridley rushes Spencer to wrest the man from his grip. Nat1 is Mayored to a Nat20, frees the guy. Gets a glimpse of the child, whose bloodshot eyes lack pupils or other features. "The kid isn't alright, all!"
The more melee-inclined swarm him. He does an AoE and afflicts Ty with confusion. Ridley manages to grapple him and hold him under the water, made more effective by Jables casting Tasha's Hideous Laughter to evacuate his lungs. He tries to break free, but then goes limp. And of course Susan chooses this moment to appear looking for Spencer. Spencer has his pupils and sclera back, and once healed seems not to recall what's been happening. Ermy catches up with us, "Is it over?" There's a Nat20 Insight on Spencer, but we never learn what Dan rolled. Lady Zo checks on the other redshirts here, stable.
People discuss in front of everyone what to do, whom to kill, whom to defend, who's a demon, who else is a demon. The Reverend Zeta joins in, tries to calm people. Sends Susan to go work on dinner, wants to take Spencer to the church. Ty grabs the corpse he'd dredged here to bring along as well. Both the unconscious are stable and ultimately Hands'ed by Ty for 1HP each, and they attest that the kid attacked people.
There are some rolls to recognize the voice Spencer spoke with during the battle. Duraz is certain it's the same voice we heard at the entrance when we first encountered Spencer. Ash questions him as to whether he encountered anyone who offered to help him, bargained with him, etc. Seems no.
Zeta performs an exorcism with a sensor and holy water. At first, it seems nothing happened, but then there is sizzling. The Reverend Zeta is convinced he's banished the demon, but when Spencer sits up, his eyes are bloodshot. "What's the matter, Reverend? Can't get rid of me, the same way you got rid of the deacon?" Melek knocks out Spencer. Digs questions Zeta about this past event, and Zeta explains that the matter of the deacon of the Church of Pelor was a dark mark on their history.
He ultimately dips out to consult the scriptures. Spencer is tied to the altar. We argue about harming Spencer to attempt to harm the demon. Digs checks on the corpse upstairs, it's still covered in fungus. More arguing. Did the banishment work? Religion19 by Duraz, it SHOULD have, you know, prior to the demon apocalypse. Art reasons that maybe this is their new "home" plane. If he didn't bother concentrating, Zeta may have banished him momentarily and he popped back, per function of the spell.
We stay the night there, keep our established watch order. Melek watched Art more than the child, Art sharpening his blade the whole while. During third watch, the boy starts speaking, "Ash? Ash? Why am I tied down? I'm scared! Let me go, I don't want to be here!" Duraz stops Ash approaching the boy. "I was dreaming you're as easy to fool as Amara says you were. HAHAHAHA." Duraz has words with the demonboy, knocks him out again. Critically. But the boy recovers and continues taunting Ash, that he's "tasted you on his lips," and such. Duraz goes to knock him out again, but he feels like concrete (natural armor). He continues saying the most inciteful things to Ash. Duraz strikes again, knocked out again.
Melek asks Ash what that was all about. "Are you a DEMON FUCKER?" Zeta reappears with the Texts of Pelor. Sees some've been "talking" with the kid.
"I dunno what's happened, but far as I can tell, the material plane IS his home plane." We can use more holy water to draw him out, but that'll probably kill the child and the demon would just go find a new host. Ty asks if plan B is to take a journey inside the mind. "WHAT? NO, sending you into his soul would be really dangerous! What kind of priest would even DO that?" He suggests we banish him again and ask Spencer while he's gone if he knows the demon's True Name. And then he could trap the demon within an amulet. (And it seems it's not Hondu, Digs already tried that.)
(Dinner!)
"My friend, he took me to the palace of Prince Raziel, hat with three buttons, sword with four gems." The lower planes have a strange attraction to numerology.
What was your friend's name? "We walked up five stairs in the castle, we met six beautiful women. They knew his name."
What was your friend's name? "The women called him Sapta."
What did he call himself? "He calls himself my friend. And the women are his. That's why they call him by his special name."
Why is he here, what does he want? "He wants... me."
Why? What does he want you for, besides being friends? "I WANT HIM BECAUSE ALL FLESH BELONGS TO THE ABYSS." Looks like the banishment is over.
Zeta threatens the demon that he knows his true name now. We're going to get this started. We make our preparations.
"Almighty Pelor, Lord of all creation," etc. "the power to confront this cruel demon!" The child responds vulgarly. Begins floating, but is still tied down. The child turns toward Art and taunts him with personal information. Art rebukes him. We see things pulsing, both the demon trying to remain attached to the child, but also the room itself. And in a moment, we see double vision, like another of the room overlaid on this one, and there are eight creatures in the overlay stepping into the room with us. Initiative.
After a full round of battle, the exorcism continues. We can see the visage of a Vrok's face gnashing from him. Now the boy and the opal are floating.
At one point, it looks like it's working, but one of the demons gives up its essence to interrupt the progress. We continue fighting.
When one remains, Digs climbs up the rope and dives down, axes out, for a cinematic finish.
The exorcism completes. The demon is sealed within the opal, which Digs and Ash both try to retrieve at once. Zeta reasons that it needs to be kept somewhere where it won't be jostled, and Digs reluctantly gives up his claim to the opal. Also, Ash takes off their mask for the first time, to Melek's surprise.
Spencer is released and told to run to his mom. We chat with Zeta about what we encountered down deeper. He doesn't know the name Hondu. Digs is worried about the opening possibly having had effects outside this room, but he is assured any related effects would have been halted with the sealing of the demon.
We do our things a while. Dinner rolls around. Spencer is there. Ash chats with him. "I didn't like being friends with him." Ash offers him a hug. Eventually, Susan joins us. She bids us to come talk with her in the kitchen. She wants... help... in her quarters? This sounds sexual, but no, he's been coloring with charcoal since his return this morning. We agree to go and see for ourselves.
They're big, monstrous creatures. "I don't know what this means." Ash asks how much Susan knows about what he'd just been through, very little it turns out. So Ash lays it out, specifies that the experience was likely traumatic.
Some Arcana rolls to look at the drawings. A Balor. "He tells me that one is called Hondu."
=== Book 5: Draw Me Nearer 11/7/21 (Lune 18th 3124) ===
With the demonic possession bravely averted by our heroes, they're now left with the knowledge that the demon left in his survivor...
Session notes:Late start today following Teslacon. We have dinner first and then convene for game.
Ash proposes we sit with Spencer and chat with him while he draws. Alternately, we can try talking with the captured Septa, but we agree he'd have no reason to cooperate.
We return to the cafeteria to talk with Spencer. He's been having urges to draw. Ash shows him his drawing materials. And now we're ALL going to make drawings!
Spencer starts drawing a dog and a cat. He had one of each on the farm. He wants to see what Ash is drawing. Ash has drawn the Hondu cultists' room. "My friend Septa told me about it." Hondu's playplace, Septa says he's mean and wouldn't be Spencer's friend. Septa had taken Spencer by it in his dream, but said to avoid it.
Septa also told him about Zorel, his friend who's now the boss in town, said he should totally go meet him. Zorel is an upper echelon, higher tier demon, not quite a prince.
Any other noteworthy demons? No, no one else around here. Zorel's the one making it rain fire, reportedly.
We all share our drawings. They are all character appropriate.
The Tieflings have a quick discussion about trying banishment to see if the nine hells are still there. Lady Zo gets pulled in, remarks that she has experience with not being able to be banished "home," but also does not have that spell.
Spencer is now drawing a big, winged, horned monster, eyes everywhere. Lady Zo recognizes that it isn't a Balor, but close to being one, and huge-sized. This is Zorel.
Since we don't currently have a way out of the caves, our best and only option is to return to Hondu's Playplace and explore beyond. But first, we're going to call it a day. Everyone does their restocking, crafting, studying, whatnot.
"LIKE A MEAT GOGURT"
Melek tries to hang out with Ryder while he crafts his ammo, but is warned to stand back or possibly lose her eyebrows. Digs reminds Melek she killed two cultists. Ash lets Melek hold Sir Hiss.
Long rest. Morning.
We make our way down the rope again. Oddly, the cultists' bodies don't seem to be in the lagoon where we'd interred them. There appears to have been something large, with spindly limbs, that came through here and has taken the remains toward the blood room. Ash uses Pass Without Trace and bids us to move quietly and stay close. Rather than using Light, we buddy up those without Darkvision with those who have it and advance to the next room. Still quiet. Ash calls up a familiar (bat) and orders it ahead to scout.
Opens to a large room with two pathways, also big rocks. But there appears to be nothing else.
We roll stealth to move in there. Digs notices immediately the "rocks" are things with chitinous armor. Ash rolls Nature15, they are enormous scorpions in a state of sleep. No remnants of the cultists. Nine horse-sized scorpions. They don't appear to be demonic, what with the sleeping and all.
We take a poll and decide to try and battle them. Initiative!
With some difficulty, we do manage to fell them all without much setback.
Melek begins trying to advance to the next room. Ash tries to stop her and has the familiar go first. Path to the right is full of dead bodies. Six humans, all skinless, including one that was clearly the cultist killed by Digs' cannonball. No other exits.
Next, sending the bat through the left tunnel. Five humanoids, stretching human skin over their faces, tying with string. Adjusting one another's skins, speaking Common, "Hold still, almost straight." Ash sends the bat farther, out of range. It manages to return, reports all it saw was "weird skin shit."
We try to take some time to rest, and those who don't need to do anything else start to try to build a barricade, but two of the skinfolk come in along the hallway.
"Halt, intruders! You shall not best the fury of the might of Hondu! Alert the others!" Insight says they're saying something they were told to say, an obvious rehearsed line.
They try to strut away, but they get webbed.
"You're working for Hondu?" "Yes, he's the director!" Act 1, Scene 3. They seem to think we're supposed to be following the script Hondu provided. We do some bluffing, but it doesn't go anywhere. Lady Zo asks to see their copy of the script, but they're supposed to be off-book by today. Digs tries really hard to convince them to go along with his provided changes to the script, but they won't hear it. So maybe we're all headed to talk to Hondu about this? Digs goes for a Hail Mary and claims to BE Hondu testing them, but they're convinced they should talk to the director. Art stabs one, then the other.
They are humans wearing the human faces. Prop, wooden swords. This is weird. We heal them. They're terrified now.
When the last understudies got their lines wrong, Hondu killed them.
Honestly, there are so many people talking over one another now that it's hard to keep track of everything each individual is trying to do, and much of it in direct conflict with what others are declaring. But we do get more information out of the pair.
They got their masks from Hondu. Not sure if Hondu skinned them or if his stage manager did, whom they've never met, and thus they cannot answer any questions about them. Melek intimidates them to go hang out in the scorpion room. We then head on to the makeup room. Art calls for people to clear out, but no one is there and no one answers. Then a booming voice, "I have not called for intermission. Join me in the makeup room for... notes."
We all go in. Quiet. Our shadows are cast large on the wall. Table laid out with prop weapons. Mirrors, makeup kits. A stack of human leather and ties to bind them. Gross.
People start talking over one another again. "I don't take... notes." Ash sees that Art's shadow is the one that's talking. "You're a smart one, despite the fact that you are a bootlicker. There's a great lie that's been told about demons. This is what separates the pure hearts of demons from those of wicked devils." "Hey! We have rules!" "Yes, which limits your creativity." Melek:"Are you two DEVILS? I thought you were goats!"
Lady Zo puts out the torch with Prestidigitation, which does remove the shadows, but Hondu animates another one from the light source on Melek's staff. Addresses Zo. "Oh, PLEASE." The shadow returns to position near Art and slumps, as if tired. Art does the same to match.
Hondu takes position again as a shadow near one of the mirrors and continues talking poorly of devils. Also, talking up the creativity of demons, and all creativity comes from chaos. He wants to direct the greatest drama of the apocalypse. Septa was a servant of Zerel, the worst kind of demon, who only wants to consume. For his part, Hondu "consumed" those actors he sent to get us, and we went off book when we healed them. "So you do just want to kill?" "...yeah."
"What is it you desire?" Melek wants to rid Avalon of the demons. "Oh, the time for that is past." It seems he is in direct contrast with Zerel, is he the only reason we've survived here? "Don't you think Zerel could just kick the door down if he wanted to?" The drama in the cave has been entertaining, and letting Septa in was hilarious. "If it's improv theater, aren't you a shitty director?" "I direct THIS stage. And I'm giving you the opportunity to join my troupe. You all could be my magnum opus."
Can he make Digs a dragon again? No, there is no magic that can return you. But I can help the people of the Crighton Mines. Some party members are losing their patience, particularly Melek who goes into Celestial form, punches right through him and shatters the mirror. He's amused. "What are you proposing?"
The ultimate law of cause and effect. The cultists, their delivery is crap. He'll give us a script. If we perform it to his satisfaction, he'll have no further need for these petty dramas and he'll slay Zerel. If we fail to entertain, back to the usual spectacle and the squabbling with Susan.
The Nine Hells are not gone, they're inhabited. He's been invited, never gone. The Crighton Mines are his place.
He makes his case. Most of us agree to act in his play, and he lays out the scripts. "Nightmare in the Crighton Mines."
=== Book 6: Throw Out the Lifeline 11/14/21 (Lune 19th - 20th 3124) ===
The Crichton Mines survivors are discovering they may have an ally in this time, but he's gonna want the performance of a lifetime in exchange for his assistance...
Session notes:Hangover breakfast, as many of us are recovering from last night's lingerie party. This includes building the table anew.
"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GOAT?" Ash is not letting this go.
Meanwhile, Hondu is providing us our scripts, and he will deliver the lines into the minds of those who cannot read. He also apologizes if he spelled any names incorrectly. (He spelled EVERY name incorrectly.)
Lights shine from nowhere. A tavern scene appears on the stage. Half of us are told to have a seat at the table, the rest to be background characters. We're asked if we need wardrobe, but no one wants to wear skin. Ash asks Zo to Prestidigitate something clean.
The script reads like something an AI was asked to write. The party presents their parts with varying ability. That is, ability to act AND ability to make any sense of the performance whatsoever.
As scene 2 ends, he has notes. Melek was not selling him on her performance as M'LECK THE DARK. We're taking it from the top of scene 2.
We act out scene 3. Hondu is pleased.
Suggests to Digs, who is looking at the prop weapons, that we may find things of interest in the Castle of Arroyo, because Septa, like Zerel, is a collector.
Return up the water path. Find the mayor. Bluff that nothing interesting happened apart from killing scorpions.
We have dinner. Ash offers to begin tutoring Ty and Ridley in learning to read. Upon learning that Ash has (roll-roll) eleven books, Lady Zo asks to see whichever one seems most academic. Borrows a book on the animals of Avalon, as well as some cartography items. She begins studying everything. Kirin and Ash also go looking for guano and bats, respectively. Ash chats with the bats, offers them some goodberries. Asks them how they are getting in and out of the caves, but they aren't. Someone put a bunch of rocks in the way. Also, Dan has declared all bats now talk like Christian Bale's Batman.
In the morning, a booming voice in Abyssal from outside the mountain, "DO YOU SEE?!" We hurry to the church. There is sunlight. Ash conjures a finch and wargs into it, has it fly outside to look. No rain. Attempts to make it past the mushroom sentries, DEX save. Fails. So we didn't get a view fully outside.
Kostya shows up, aware the sentries nabbed something. "Oh, was that your bird?" He's aware the rain of lead outside has abated. By request, he'll have the sentries chill out so we can pass.
Digs is sent up there. He scoops the goopy remnants of the decaying boy out the softball-sized hole. Kostya offers to widen it for us. Meanwhile, there's a LOT of commotion coming from Arroyo. Digs sees demons flying about fleeing Arroyo, manages to avoid their notice. Identifies them, but Dan doesn't have it ready.
We head outside. It's somewhat idyllic. We can see trees that were beyond the firestorm. Even with the smell of the recent slag rains, the air smells relatively fresh. We roll Athletics. Make it around the side and can see Arroyo. The castle that had been mayor Jode's is in disrepair, and it's apparent the commotion is coming from there. However, our lowest stealth roll is a 5, and some of the smaller fleeing demons spot us. Six of them turn toward us. Ash Suggests one of them to keep moving. Digs attempts to threaten the rest ineffectively. We roll initiative.
We down the five. Pass Without a Trace is cast. We head toward the town, and the ruckus at the keep is still clearly underway. Kirin collects some slag.
Once in the town, we hear flapping wings approaching, but we see nothing. We dash into the bake shop. Stealth rolls. A shadow has plummeted to the ground in humanoid shape. And then an enormous flaming sword plummets from the sky and pierces it. Then, legs land. Muscular, humanoid. Talons. Also, emitting a bright light that blinds our kobold. Taps its talon. Speaks in Abyssal: "You thought you could come to my kingdom? I am God now." The sword is pulled, and the shadow bursts into brimstone. The creature flies away. Arcana21 for Lady Zo to ID this mofo. The light body is common to goristros, a particularly powerful breed of demon.
We know that killing a demon on the material plane just sends it back to the abyss.
We discuss our options. Assuming Zerel heads to the mountain to claim Hondu's domain, he'd surely get there before we could, making an evacuation attempt unlikely. But perhaps we can create a distraction in town that keeps him from them? We recall where there is an alchemist's shop, near the church of Pelor. The castle is a ways from there in the center of town.
We each grab a large, metal pot in case the rains resume. Stealth to the alchemist's shop, where Digs has been before.
On the way, we spot an armorer... and we hear moaning from within? Door is bolted shut. Digs attempts to unlock it. Melek kicks at it. Lady Zo freezes the lock. Melek kicks it again. We're in.
Weapons scattered everywhere. A man is strapped to the table, a device on his body. A winch is pulling out one of his internal organs. He asks us to kill him. No one else appears to be here. Medicine21 says we can save him. Kirin tries tinker tools to see if he can reverse the device. No good. Ty releases his hold on Digs, who mercy kills the man. He begs us to say goodbye to his son. (Eep.) Kirin's been here before, knows this man wasn't the armorer.
Mundane weapons in the front. Digs checks the door to the back. Locked. Investigates for traps. 20! There's a quick release on this particular brand of lock, which he uses. Treasure table roll! 79. A safe, 1d4(2) magic items from table F. Magic weapon, adamantine chain shirt. +1 magical longsword. We also find mundane armor and outfit ourselves. Several people work together to superheat the hinges, freeze water to make them brittle, and try to shatter them. The first attempt fails, but it's enough for Ty to just yank out the door. Digs grabs the gems inside. Melek and Ty perform last rites for the man.
We take the long (safe) way. Two stealth checks. Melek and Ty both roll a 1 on the second roll, so Ty trips and rolls into Melek. Their iron pots clang together loudly. There is no doubt that this was noticed. We dart over to a nearby residence and bash in the door. Go in, close it behind us. It's a typical Skyrim residence. Some hide behind the couch. Digs and Zo hide in a wardrobe. Some are behind the door. A great light shines through the window. It begins to shine much brighter, and steps are approaching. He's clearly looking and listening for us, we roll stealth. Dan rolls to oppose. And... it withdraws.
Zo finds a trench coat, gives it to Kirin.
More stealthiness. We use our final reroll.
Come in view of the church, which is unsurprisingly destroyed. No sign of anything useful in the rubble we can see. Continue to the alchemist shop, which is locked. Digs does the thieves' tools thing and we're in.
It smells heavily. Only a small amount of gunpowder, nowhere near enough to create a large-scale diversion. Zo finds a spellbook of Prof. Warnforth. Ash finds a book about healing crystals. Vials of Florida water, Digs empties a couple to have the vials. Check for other things, no good. There is a locked door to a back room, which Digs sees about defeating. Ash helps him locate the keys. In the back room are... (d100=33) 7 gems worth 50 apiece and two potions of healing. Lady Zo takes two of the gems to later transcribe a spell, and Digs takes the rest.
Digs asks about a rug, there is one! And a trapdoor, locked, and none of the keys fit it. Digs has a go, no good, and Lady Zo uses shape water to shatter the key padlock.
Ty opens it. Some 20 corpses, emaciated, smells terrible. Melek creates light and goes down. They all seem to have died of starvation, dehydration, the expected. Digs finds 3GP total among them.
Art notices it has started to rain fire once again.
=== Book 7: Did not it Rain 11/21/21 (Lune 20th-21st , 3124) ===
The survivors in the Crichton Mine threw a hail mary with an unlikely ally, but they may have put their eggs in the wrong basket. Now they need to find a way passed the rain of fire to see if they can save what's left of the city!
Session notes:We reopen the discussion of wtf we're going to do. Duraz, returned from the bushes, looks for powdered silver in the alchemist's shop but finds none.
"Wouldn't do that if I were yooou." says a voice from the back of the alchemist shop speaking in Common. A human woman we don't recognize, wearing a nice business ensemble. "Yeah. You will not make it back to the caves in one piece."
We question who she is. Just a business person here to make a deal, Mrs. Locke. Ash asks which side they serve. "I serve myself." And yes, there ARE rules. Duraz guesses aloud she is a devil, but she denies this. Art recognizes her as a Yugoloth.
She goes on to tell us that Zerel is weak from his battle (though still empowered whenever he's in his keep), but he WILL march on the mountain in the morning. If we move without her help, we'll die before we make it to the mountain. With her help, we can escape to a refugeee camp that she tells us is northwest in the mountain chain.
Melek: "What's a Yugoloth?" Duraz: "You're adorable."
Mrs. Locke wants the demon soul we've trapped in the opal. In exchange, she will provide us potions that protect us from the raining fire. We discuss, and we decide that this doesn't help us evacuate our people. She offers enough potion for the 900 additional people if we sweeten the deal. She wants the true name of the entrapped demon. Duraz acknowledges that one of us certainly knows it. After more discussion, we decide to take the deal. The demon soul left in anyone's hands is a potential hazard, but she may be the most capable at keeping the demon contained. Mrs. Locke presents papers where the agreement is outlined to the point of legalese annoyance.
"Mrs. Locke - Nycaloth Treasurer - Tower of Incarnate Pain."
It is established that Lady Zo finds the term "ragtag team of adventurers" offensive.
We apply our signatures. Art is confused we're using ink rather than our own blood. Duraz asks to keep the pen, does so.
Upon completion, Melek offers a handshake. Mrs. Locke reciprocates, but when they touch, Melek sees a ton of visions and her special form manifests. She sees the Tower of Incarnate Pain, in it, a baby being passed to a strange, alien-looking creature who hugs it with six-fingered hands. "AH! SIX FINGERS!" Mrs. Locke has five. Duraz also gives a strong handshake, wins the roll and pulls her in for the hug.
She poofs away. We drink the potions. We have fire resistance. The Tieflings realize, mechanically, they never needed the potions or any other means of protecting themselves from the fire rain. Half of one point of damage rounds down the zero.
We head out and make some stealth rolls. Kirin was still looking for the inn, but we find the remnants of where it used to be. We make it back to the cavern without incident, 1pm.
The Reverend Zeta's not in the chapel. We find him and the mayor eating together at the cafeteria. Duraz speaks to him. Takes full responsibility for the deal, Deception16. Says he needs "that stone." "Oh boy. I got it, but, I... we can't... it's against the laws of the Church of Pelor for me to give up an evil relic to a fiend." Persuasion19. "I suppose these are... desperate times." Rules as written, he can exchange it with Duraz for the use of the potion, and whatever happens to it afterward is no longer any of his concern.
The mayor speaks, "How confident are you that this refugee camp exists." Duraz explains that the person with whom the deal was made could not lie about it. We also explain how and why we know that the clock is now ticking on this mountain remaining safe. But convincing the people may be extremely difficult.
Duraz calls for attention. Gives a rousing speech. Kirin continues. People are uncertain.
Susan peeks in. Melek goes over to talk with her and present the ring. "Aaron..." Melek makes her case to Susan about everyoine needing to get out, get her son to safety. Can she help rally the others? Susan is convinced, calls for attention. "Everyone, we need to meet in the church. We all need to talk."
We go to make sure Kostya attends. Tell him the news. Kostya has no plans to leave, as his obligation is to the fungus. There's no changing his mind, and we respect that.
We return. Susan calls for quiet. "We're all tired of losing. Losing people close to us, losing our homes." She explains that we will be heading to a refuge, we have the means to pass through the fire, and will get there in one day. Someone asks where this potion came from. "From the apothecary in town!" Technically correct, but Dan asks for the Decption roll anyway. Nat20! Oh, yeah, that checks! Susan makes her rolls. The crowd seems split, with some absolutely in favor and others uncertain. But things are now in motion, and people are gathering their things to leave this place forever.
We talk with Kostya again about making it easier to reach and exit the Church Hole. Deal.
Some talk with Melek about what she saw when she did the many-eyes thing during the handshake. And they discuss that, yes, she does become a many-eyed thing.
(Impromptu break because Dan ate Taco Bell earlier)
Vix is here! We catch them up.
Kostya collapses the ceiling for direct access to the hole. Susan is brewing the potion for everyone. People gather with their things. We're ready to go by 3pm and begin helping people up and through.
Spencer rolls up with his few things and his drawings. "You really think we can make it?" Art's gonna just lead him through without a word, but Melek assures him.
There are thirty people who are clearly not going to leave. Some of the party's faces go to try and sway them.
(DINNERTIME! Also, Matt arrives.)
Ash borrows Spencer's drawing of Zerel, lends it to Jables to try and help convince them. But no. "There's one entrance, one exit. We'll stand our ground." "He's going to make his OWN entrance." With a 98 percent on the D100, Jables convinces everyone BUT the one muttonchops dude to agree to take their chances outside.
Survival25 has us progressing without much difficulty, heading toward where we believe a refuge would/could be. By 6 hours, we are beyond the firestorm. Probably about 18 miles traveled. Ash scouts for a decent resting place, since the oldest and youngest of the group look like they can't go any farther. There's a plateu. We'll make camp there.
Mrs. Wilson, the teacher, tells us many of her kids didn't bring food. Some 50 of them. Ash is able to create 50 goodberries. They dig it.
Ash surveys. We're traveling an established path. To the southeast, Arroyo is obvious in the distance, with the firestorm and the keep's beacon alight.
The next problem is that it's going to get cold tonight, and no one has blankets. We figure it will be safe to create fires if they are below the surface. With those, we heat rocks and distribute those to people for warmth.
First watch, Melek and Art. "So... you're not a goat?" By now, she's just fucking with him. "You know, I've never seen an angel naked." "Neither have I!" Never mind.
Digs and Kirin. Nothing happens. "So. Guns. Amirite?" "Quite a fan myself." Kirin discusses the possibility of making poison bullets using the scorpion glands.
Ash and Duraz. They talk of the component cost for revival magic. Toward the end of their watch as the sun is rising, they see many flying figures headed toward Arroyo. They don't seem to see us, but they certainly COULD. Ash asks if they should alert the others. Duraz says to wait. He casts Fog Cloud as far out as he can manage, a 60' radius sphere to conceal their view of the plateau. So far, so good.
But now there's a walking troupe of demons going along the path below the plateau. The two duck out of sight. They demons will be coming very near to where we're all camped. The pair wake Lady Zo to see if she has the Silence spell or anything else of use. We discuss our options, quietly, until Digs sneezes in his sleep. Thanks to careful manipulation of Dan's rolls, the demons didn't notice it. Ash had seen at least five. Takes a better look with Pass Without Trace. They don't seem to be marching, so much as ambling along.
Eventually, we give in to the fact that this combat encounter is going to happen in spite of our efforts, and we start waking the entire party.
Hoping to get a surprise round against the demons, we instead find that they're already climbing the sheer cliffside to reach us. Initiative!
Melek has been awake three minutes and this is already the best day ever. She leaps onto one of them and crits with her first attack.
Melek also ends the battle, clambering up the cliffside, leaping up onto the plateau, and landing a crit with her polearm into the remaining demon. By now, the battle has awakened many of the refugees who are attempting to flee the area. We try to calm them. But also, some of the flying ones are definitely approaching from off in the distance, some 16-17 miles out.
So we rally the group and get going. Grueling pace!
We travel a half an hour, and we see an unexpected city in the distance. No beaten roads leading to it. The Tieflings may recognize it as the City of Dis. And by this time, they also recognize some large, hulking creatures in front of it. Balors, and they've seen us. Ash calls out to them to stop, and they land right in front of the party. They speak in Common, "Are you here to seek refuge?" "...yes?" "Proceed to the city of New Dis for processing."
=== Book 8: None but the Righteous 11/28/21 (Lune 22nd, 3124) ===
Our party had a bad time bargaining with a demon, but the covenant of the Yugoloths has been positive so far. They've escaped to what they believe to be a refuge, but it appears to be under the guard of some Balors. What's more wild, is that the Balors have bid them welcome! 
Session notes:The Balors head past us to eliminate the pursuing demons. The refugees rush toward the city, an appealing choice in that it is away from the demons and pleasantly not a cave. We do some rolling and recollecting to determine that it would take some Arch-Devil level power to transport something like this. Dis, the Iron city from the Second Layer, ruled over by Dispater.
Digs knocks on the tall doors. A bunch of locks disengage in sequence. A human opens a smaller door behind a gate, asks how many we are. We have some 900, but we're told "Marshall says we can only let in 400." Digs argues that leaving 500 out here is going to attract attackers. Rolls Persuasion12. No good. They already have a population of 8346. Lady Zo asks if we could assist with providing more resources to allow them to take in our entire group. Sure, if we can slay a mammoth to the northeast and return with its tusks, they'll recover the carcass (enough meals for everyone for a fortnight) and believe we can provide. We agree to this, as it seems the people will be safe in the mean time. Mayor Jode was up with us for the exchange and is up to speed, so we're all set.
Our best route (with Survival11) is a 60ft high sheer ice face. But Kirin manages to clamber up it and ties off a rope. We all make our rolls to make it safely up the side.
We call Mrs. Locke's name three times. She appears in a puff of dramatic effect, inspects the opal, and is satisfied. We're a bit confused that she didn't also ask us the name, but she asks in turn if the name on the talisman isn't it, then realizes we can't see it. But she confirms that our transaction is complete to her satisfaction. Lady Zo asks if New Dis was the refuge she'd intended when directing us, but she will only tell us for the fee of 50gp. This seems to be the consistent when trying to get information from her on any topic, however simple. People do some shopping for material goods, and Duraz now has his powdered silver and Digs has single gemstones valuable enough for his artificer needs. We discuss some other things she could maybe provide, but anything of magical value would require additional souls, and we're not really into that. So she poofs away again and we return to our task.
Melek and Ty are attempting to track any signs of mammoths. 21. We find large tracks! And some thirty minutes beyond, there it is. No evidence of additional ones nearby. Melek identifies a choke point we could use to our advantage. We make our plan and attempt to stealth into position with very little success, and it looks ready to fight-or-flight. Ty compels it to duel him so he can lead it into position. We roll initiative and then break for FRIENDSGIVING!
We manage to lure and frighten it into the choke point, but Duraz's thunderwave has incited both an avalanche and a stampede headed toward us. Ty (with the help of inspiration, reroll, and Power of Kuma) manages to Animal Handling his way onto the top of the initial mammoth. Meanwhile, Melek and Ridley begin climbing the wall to try and influence the avalanche.
One round later, the arrival of the avalanche proves a more pressing matter than the mammoths. Lady Zo casts Fly and pulls Duraz from the snow, then upcasts Fly so he can do the same for the others. Most manage to struggle their way above the eventual 60 feet of snow, though a few need assitance.
Two mammoths are left buried, and the other three escape back the way they came. 4 ties and a win in rock-paper-scissors to decide that Melek successfully suckerpunches Duraz for having caused all of this. We take a short rest over an hour, which ensures the deaths of the two buried mammoths. Digs carves a path down to them with a Flaming Sphere and we saw off the tusks from both.
We return without incident, and the Balors are again standing guard with no sign of having been damaged in their fight against the flying demons. This is not at all surprising.
Unlock, unlock, etc. The same man answers the gate. We show the four tusks, and the man is very impressed. In fact, he thinks there may be a place for us in the city's militia. "Marshall Admaris will be pleased." The Tieflings: Wut.
=== Book 9: Sinner's Crossroads 12/5/2021 - (Lune 22nd - Lune 24th, 3124) ===
Our heroes have been able to prove their worth to the refuge. Not just for themselves, but also for the survivors of the Crichton Mines. The Marshall of New Dis will be very impressed.
Session notes:(Half the group are just now back from Furcon.)
Ash explains that Admaris has been in league with demons, not devils. So this may not be what it seems. Discusses relevant backstory. (LINK HERE!)
Is this a human farm?? Digs tries getting the guard's attention to ask, but the guard is talking with the Reverend Zeta. Lady Zo asks if anyone wants a look over the wall. Ash looks to see how prevalent birds are here, and there are a lot of birds in the air. Oddly, they are all flying within the city border but not beyond. Colorful, tropical birds. Are they kept from leaving somehow? It doesn't appear so. Ty points out that if they were planning to eat people, they wouldn't have initially only admitted half the refugees.
Ash wargs into the familiar. Digs tries to write things on Ash's forehead during, but Ash feels it and smacks him away. Ash sees all the iron structures. In the center, grease and smoke stains on the tower. But down below, lots of greenery! And people walking around freely.
Ash begins to ask someone to hit their face if... but people immediately do so. "That does it, I'm going in to talk to my husband." Was Ash always wearing that ring? (No, but Ash claims yes.) Wants to be let in first on merit of being known to Admaris, but the man isn't buying into it. But we will be processed first as we are the group who killed the mammoths.
Humans and wood elves in some kind of wooden armor, looking like Starship Troopers, receive us. Then walks in a high elf wearing the robes of a druidic order. The Circle of Arvell, not the circle Admaris was part of. They cast a spell, and a circle appears around each of us. Digs assumes we're being attacked and draws his weapon, but others stop him. Zone of Truth. Only three of us fail, and the one casting tells the commander who is under the effect.
Jables, where are you from? Kickapoo, originally. How did you survive and make it here to the refugee camp? I was in a mine, and then I wasn't. Why did you leave the mine? Because I had to. What was forcing you out of the mine? There were spiders in the mine, and I didn't like the spiders. Everyone from the mine left from the spiders? All but one, don't know what became of him. Are any of you, or have any of you ever been, associated with fiends? Jables chooses not to answer. Is told none of us will be admitted. What constitutes a fiend to you? Melek offers up that "This one was married to one, apparently!"
To Art. You... are a fiend. I once was, but as of ten years ago, no longer. Art goes through the spiel which is not acted out at the table. How did you make it to the form you are in now? Tekezian. Should I know who that is? Thankfully, no. How did Tekezian make you mortal? Contract. What was traded? My former body for this one. Ten years ago... so you betrayed the faith early. We like that here.
To San. You or anyone you know associated with fiends in the past two months? Nah. (San legitimately doesn't know half of what's gone on.) "Who the fuck is  a fiend?"
Raz nods to the mage, says to let us in. They place a line of sand and tell us to cross over it, if you are noble, you will survive. All but Art, Digs, and Ash go directly across. Digs toes it and slowly crosses, then darts the second half the way. Melek: "You realize this is probably just sand." Art crosses. Ash crosses. Nothing happens.
We enter the greenery. It's very nice. A human woman in white robes comes near. "Welcome to Arcadia." The Balors are reportedly the only ones to call it New Dis. Digs tries to work this out out loud, Melek explains it's like how he calls himself a dragon when he isn't. He tries to bite her finger. "When the Marshall preserved this part of the nine hells, he did it to serve as a bastion." Insight20 tells us she just seems happy not to be out in the apocalypse right now. Ash wants to see the Marshall, but the woman doesn't even know how to get to the Tower of Arcadia. But maybe we'd be interested in a bath? Ash wants more information, is the library intact? The woman doesn't know, maybe we should ask one of the more experienced administrators.
At the baths, we are provided robes and give our instructions for the laundering of our clothing. We take a warm soak. Melek tries asking Ash a lot of questions Ash does not want to answer. Some people are worried we may be trapped in here, but others just relax. The hot springs episode plays out with discussion of whether Ash is partially (totally) responsible for all of this, and individuals and their objectives and how it all ties together. Lady Zo makes Lucky Charms shapes in the water. Ty washes his armor. The other features of this room reveal evidence that this may once have been a torture room, but it has been cleaned up nicely. Oh, Art's turn! Did Art ALSO start the demon apocalypse? Art is upset that most of what (and whom) they knew here seems to be no longer, apart from Ash of course.
Melek manages a rear leg takedown on Duraz, decided again by RockPaperScissors. Lady Zo and Ash want to find the library. The attendant returns with our clothes. We're told we need not don our armor, but people do so anyway.
The library is on the 26th floor of the tower. We're headed to the dormitory first. Dinner is in an hour or two. We set up our rooms, Duraz adorning his door with a poster of Julius J Kord wrestling the Terrasque, putting him into the sharpshooter hold. Some pass the time by studying, others by working out at the gym.
Dinner! Mammoth! Vegetables! A distinctly appreciated lack of mushrooms! We see the Reverend Zeta who has cleaned up well. He says there's no such thing as a free lunch, but we counter that we hunted the mammoth ourselves. As far as he knows, no one from our group has been barred from entering. He's optimistic that we will one day soon retake Arroyo! And the church! We let slip that the church is not intact, but Ty inspires him that we SHALL rebuild!
Raz comes by and congratulates us on our appointment to the security squad.
Raz had previously been part of a nomadic group in the mountains. They began struggling when a dragon started to move in. He Who Burns All.
What to do? Library wins the discussion, but we realize it's too far a trek to go there and back on a whim. So we return and do our things until turning in for the night. Melek has another nightmare, being on a cliff face that extends in all directions and pursued by something with an enormous mouth, fire stripping the flesh from her body. She goes outside to clear her head, almost tramples Ash who was sleeping in the grass. They chat, as does Duraz who is up early to exercise. Maybe there's someone in the city who knows something about prophetic dreams.
The lot of us have breakfast. Raz approaches us again. Funny question, anyone speak Giant? Some goliaths showed up. Ty offers to help, so we all head over. Some 40 goliaths. Lady Zo casts Comprehend Languages as a ritual along the way. The goliaths are wearing the colors of his clan! Led by Obuut, he and Ty recognize one another. They exchange pleasantries. They've come to seek help from the walled city, though they have no intention to come to stay. The dragon has allied with demons and men who wear the markings of demons. They want to reclaim the mountains and do not have the might to do it alone. Ty communicates this to Raz. Sheosydyth, the Burner of Life, Digs rolls well enough to think it might be him.
We discuss wanting to help but are uncertain how. Raz will not grant leave to any of the force for a certain death mission. We discuss talking with the leader here first. Obuut gives Ty flak about answering to another, but Ty sticks to his guns.
We head toward the tower for an hour, but it doesn't appear any nearer. Art rolls well enough to recall hearing that the Tower of Dis simply cannot be reached by normal means. Ash calls down a bird to chat with it, and it has TRIED to reach that tower to shit on it to no avail. The bird is now named Jeanine Godfried. Duraz hits her with lightning.
We head back, bickering the entire way. Ubuut asks how many we number. Nine, sometimes eleven.
Ash talks to one of the balors, refers to their husband. The balor remarks he hasn't seen a ring on the master's finger. It becomes clear that the balors are subjugated against their will and are by no means required to be nice about their situation.
We travel all day and camp at night, led by the goliaths. The next day, we eat breakfast and then continue. We eventually come upon a smouldering peak. The goliaths warn we shouldn't go any farther. There's a snow-covered, large, flat area. Probably a frozen-over lake. Art uses their echo to confirm this.
The tribe has only 6 warriors. They were not expecting this. They say that if even a foot passes through the ice, they will lose that foot.
The expanse is some 200 feet wide and stretches out about a mile. Super-steep on either side making walking around its edge impossible. The lake is determined to be 40 feet deep.
We carefully start to traverse the frozen lake, making rolls to determine our success. Using our abilities and various modifications to the die rolls, we make it most of the way without anyone falling through.
In the final stretch, the goliaths have the ice crack beneath them. Duraz parts the water and Lady Zo reacts with Feather Fall on five of them. But the goliaths have to leave us to tend to the one who touched water, because if they make it intact to the planned combat encounter Dan's just going to kill them. So be it.
We reach a dragon-sized cave entrance. Digs calls him out. We all back away from Digs. As the dragon exhales, we see shadowed by the illumination five humanoids within the entrance. But it's late, so we're closing here.
=== Book 10: Wings of Faith 12/12/21 - (Lune 24th, 3124) ===
There is more than just demons that have risen in the fall of the nine hells. Monsters in the mountain have come to take advantage of the chaos. Can the party restore order to the nomads?
Session notes:Today's first encounter: Chip attacks the "display out port" on Dan's new laptop.
There's less snow near the cave's opening, signs of frequent foot traffic. Despite being midday, there are clouds hanging low overhead and blocking much of the sunlight.
The figures emerge. Haphazardly dressed in skins and metals and masks. They are donning what appear to be claw gloves. A human steps forward and speaks in Abyssal. "Have you come with the offering from Zorel?" Art says we have come to speak with Sheosydyth. "If you have not come with an offering, then you will have to BE the offering." Ash offers a counterpoint, THEY will be the offering. We roll initiative.
Lady Zo casts Sickening Radiance in the mouth of the cave. Melek is already in there but makes every Con save against it and never even notices the spell is in effect over several rounds. Ridley is not so lucky when he runs in and has to run out again. Meanwhile, three fire elementals rush out of the cave and begin igniting the party. Duraz keeps shoving them back into the spell effect with a thunder wave. We get them all down.
As we recover, Art wargs into the cave to perform recon. The cavern is clearly crafted by and for humanoids, but deeper in there is a sleeping red dragon. How long do dragons sleep? About the same as people, we determine with knowledge rolls. There are other passages, and Art opts to pop back and report all of this to us. 
Short rest. Discussion. We attempt to make a stealthy entrance aided by Pass Without Trace. Ridley rolls lowest with a 13. We approach directly toward a readied action to unleash a fiery Breath Weapon by the fully conscious and aware dragon, 54 fire damage. Kirin is immediately down. Initiative.
We stunlock this mofo. Digs gives a lengthy ultimatum in Draconic before firing the doomstick at him. Art delivers the final blow, gutting its throat over themselves at the start of the second round of combat. This was decidedly WAY too easy.
We hear hollering in Draconic from one of the next chambers. "Stop sparring with your guards, your father will be home soon!" A goliath wearing the colors of Ty's tribe comes in, sees us and the dead dragon. "Ohhhhhhhhhhh..." Ty demands an explanation. "Pfffffffffffff..." Ash asks if Ty's family set us up to get eaten.
"I had a deal with Sheosydyth that if I watched over his son, he would spare the tribe." "He did not spare the tribe." We discuss whether we could revive the dragon. He says he has another idea, involving some of us playing the part of the child dragon to speak with his father upon his return. While Duraz drags the corpse away and Lady Zo prestidigitates away the gore, Ty+Jables+Digs are merged into one entity in the form of the child dragon. The plan is to convince Sheosydyth that Zerel's emissaries killed his guards and insulted the dragons.
Daddy arrives. Dan is wearing an alligator head. He has brought his son his favorite panda corpses to eat. Matt's arms have to feed panda snacks to Casey's mouth. Deception20 beats Insight6. "They were egotistical fucknuts!" Eat more pandas, your favorite! And drink, too! (Stop farting!) Drink, you poor, thirsty child! "I will go now, and bring vengeance upon our enemies! Tell them they are not to talk to ME or MY SON, ever again!" There is video of this. It is glorious.
Sheosydyth is not the dragon Digs is looking for, it turns out.
The shaman and the rest of us return. He unfuses the performers. Roybis, the goliath shaman, understands that staying here is trouble, and that trading his freedom for the promise of the tribe was folly. He determines that he and the tribe now need to leave this place.
We roll to see what we unearth from the dragon's hoard. 3x 250gp art objects (statue of Venus de Milo, The Kramer, a dragonhead-shaped incense holder), 5 rolls on magic item table C. 1 potion of supreme healing. Chime of "something" awaiting identification. Another potion - says 'Herculaid' on it. A potion of superior healing. Some horseshoes. 15,000gp we split equally among the 10 of us.
We send Roybis off ahead and then call Mrs. Locke for some bargaining. Duraz wants to offer the red dragon corpse, and perhaps currency, to get red dragon armor. He wants the fire resistance it would convey, and he ends up getting a similar outcome in the form of an amulet and plate mail. Digs barters for a cloak that protects against the sunlight. Lady Zo, a fork attuned to the Plush Plane, but Mrs. Locke says most believe the place to be fictional and tracking it down if it exists WILL cost extra for the ridicule she's likely to receive just for putting out her feelers. Ty, the same fire resistance amulet. Melek, making her weapon magical. Silvered weapons for Jables. 
=== Book 11 (A): The Glory Land 12/19/21 - (Lune 24th - Lune 27th 3124) ===
With some clever subterfuge, our heroes have been able to mislead a great dragon into battling an opposing demon lord. Will their gamble pay off for them and the rest of the survivors? 
Session notes:We return to the frozen lake. Ash takes the form of a giant eagle to transport us from here. We see that Roybis has made it to the other Goliaths who are tending to the one who fell into the lake water. We swoop down to chat. They are going to head down to the coast. The tribe leader thanks Ty for reuniting them with Roybis, asks if they could convince Ty to rejoin. But no, good luck and safe travels all along.
Ash flies upward. It will still be a while before Sheosydyth makes it to Arroyo, and there is not any obvious activity in that direction. But within the three hours, they do notice the rain of fire dissipating, so the battle may be on.
After a day's travel, we return to Arcadia. Ash asks Lady Zo to Prestidigitate them to smell nicer. Zo goes with Lilac.
We pass the Balors. Knock. Not the usual doorman, it's Admaris! Most of us don't recognize him, of course. He looks a bit war-torn. Sees Ash. "I wasn't expecting the rumors to be true." Melek puts together who this is. "Are you their HUSBAND?!" "I was acting uder the assumption I was a widow." Digs:"...er." Melek is all for this. "Where have you been, and how do you expect me to believe that it's you?" Ash gives their explanation. Admaris had gone through the Nine Hells in search of them, killed Asmodeus thinking he had taken them. Art celebrates the revelation that he wasn't responsible for all this! He'd also killed Dispater, taking this city.
Melek tries to persuade Admaris to go and attack Zerel for troubling his beloved, but no good. Admaris is past waging war. Is unhappy with Ash for not leaving a note. Others are either trying to chime in or excuse themselves from this conversation. Some do walk in to leave Ash to this personal conversation.
Ash offers him a rose. Admaris takes it, but says he will put it on the grave of his dead husband.
Admaris turns and walks into Arcadia. Ash follows and calls after him. "You did all of this for me, but you don't want to give this another chance?" Ash says that they were hurt, too. They'd tried since getting here to get to him and talk to him and was turned away and told they don't exist. Admaris says if Ash wants to rebuild, instead rebuild what has happened to this earth. Ash makes flowers bloom. "Start at Arroyo." And Admaris blinks away.
Art reasons that entering Zerel's keep might have us contending with some Abyss stuff having crept in.
We opt to have a hot meal while we can before setting off anywhere. There is a lot of conversation while Dan goes to start cooking his duck.
Away from the city, we call on Mrs. Locke. For a price, she explains that demons could always flood into this plane whenever they want. She can. Melek gets her weapon back. For more payment, Mrs. Locke reveals that the demon princes are currently on the various thrones throughout the nine hells. Ash bluffs that they know Mr. Book. Ash charges for the information, gets their diamond back. Tells what he knows thanks to Solitaire, and Mr. Book having once been part of a circus group. Mrs. Locke suddenly finds reason to need to go.
That night, Melek goes off on her own and calls Mrs. Locke to question her about the dream she had and the many-fingered person. Mrs. Locke legitimately doesn't know anything about it, not even for payment.
The next day, the rain of fire still has not returned. We have also not seen any sign of the dragon. If there was a battle, it should be over by now. No sign of any demons having fled. We continue.
As we get close, we Pass Without Trace and make other preparations. As we get into town at sundown, we see the town is lit with a pale, creepy light. We start encountering evidence of demons having dissipated to ash. Make it to city hall, and at the top is a dead red dragon. Too far to ascertain anything. We roll stealth.
Also, Digs now has his homunculus servant, a crab named Citizen Snips.
On the portcullis is writing in Abyssal. "What runs around a castle but never moves?" Lady Zo says "A wall," and the gate begins to lift.
We enter a hall. No natural light, but Melek is quick to remedy that. Lady Zo is cautious for the entryway being a trap door, but determines it is solid. Hanging on the walls are the stretched skins of Arroyo nobles. At the end of the hall, a wooden door. As Duraz stops Melek from bursting through the door, Ridley does so instead.
The next room's walls are all covered in bone. Ash notices the three secret doors hidden within them, one in each direction. We decide to go left first.
Cold as f*ck in this room, doors with no knobs to the north and south. A lever in the center and a pile of frozen bones. Several humanoids' worth. Digs examines the lever to see if he can see any more of the mechanism through it, no good. Melek examines the south door, can't figure it out. Digs determines that the lever activates something magical. Duraz pulls the lever. Ten lights on the ceiling, counting down. Pulls it again, ten lights counting down. Digs keeps resetting it. Duraz tries to defeat a door with a bone. Art and Ty try to defeat the door where we'd entered. We exit, but Art leaves his echo to observe what happens. The countdown goes to zero. The doors open. Art sends the echo to the left. Duraz marches right on in.
There is a woman in her twenties in lingerie. Totally white eyes, and the skin around those eyes severely burned. "Is someone brave enough to come in here?" Duraz answers. She is his reward for being the bravest person in Arroyo! Her Lord Zerel promised her this, and her child is to be Zorel's next concubine. By now the rest of us are here as well. Insight22, she's a bit messed up, but she believes all that she is saying. Duraz casts Protection from Good and Evil on her, also talks her up that NO she is NOT a WHORE. She thinks this is a test from Zerel, tells us we'll die if we try to slay him. Lady Zo asks if she knows what occurred between Zerel and the dragon, but she knows nothing. Her name is Marie Jathis.
Some recognize that she is the wife of the head judge, who was not in the mines with us. Duraz promises we'll return.
We head to the north room. Even colder. A large blue crystal, Digs recognizes as a cooling crystal. We try some Abyssal and manage to deactivate it. Within the chest are five longbow arrows, the heads of which are emanating the same cold energy as that crystal. There is also a door on the east side, which would take us north of the bone room. Melek opens that door.
A person bound to the north wall by the neck. "Master, how may I serve you? I finished my dinner as I promised, and licked the bones clean." He is also blind. He also tells us we would lose if we face Zerel. Melek goes to free him. We recognize him as the judge. Melek has no luck, so Digs tries using his tools to pry the chain from the wall. But he feels around for it and tries to restrain himself again. He tells Melek quietly so no one could overhear, "Zerel's throne is on the roof."
We return south to the bone room. The east door from there has a door to the south and stairs up. We head south.
Carnival music begins to play! "WATCH YOUR STEP" is scrawled on the floor in Common. In the room, a platform with three writhing humans. On the other, a child. Above the three, a spiked slab ten feet above. A lever that allows us to choose to kill the child rather than the three. TICKING!
Melek immediately leaps at the spiked slab to attempt to swing it before it drops. At the same time, Duraz Shatters the slab. Melek gets a 23. Ty runs in to shield the three with his body. Duraz deals maximum thunder damage to the slab, cracking it but not destroying it.
On the second round, they continue trying this. Lady Zo adds a level 4 magic missile cast. We succeed in destroying it, and Ty shields them. After the chain releases, Melek frees the child and heals him. Ty is freeing the other three. Do we recognize any of them? Nope. We check the room for any additional mechanisms or traps, all good, lead the dazed people to the woman's room.
Returning to the northmost room and heading east, discarded bones, licked clean. Ash finds a piece of jewelry.
Back to the stairs room. They go up.
(We break for dinner and our gift exchange!)
We climb the stairs! Four doors, one in east cardinal direction. The east is the shitter. The first one is overflowing with feces. The second, we cannot see into. Digs walks in to look into the other, stuffed full of rotting human parts (with no jewelry, since he asked). Oh, there's a third. There is a book next to it, "Tuesdays with Morrowind." Duraz goes in and looks. There's a horn, of the instrument variety. He picks it up. And Ash goes for the book, but the pages are all stuck together. Ew. Lady Zo prestidigitates their hands.
South from the stair room, a storage room with barrels. Fermenting human parts. Southwest part of the room, a wall mirror. "State your shame and you may pass" written in Abyssal. Ash looks at it, says "I left Admaris," and their reflection pulls them through. Now Melek pulls Art over to read it, he says "Abandoned Ash," and is similarly pulled through. "I can't control myself when I'm angry." "Blinding my uncle." Ridley is last, "I'm ashamed I don't have control over myself."
Everyone who's come through heard what the rest said. Three sullen, goat-legged demon boys sitting on stools. They barely acknowledge us. Ash asks them, in Abyssal, if they speak Common. No. They're here being punished, because "Lord Zerel is a monster!" Their offense was to indulge in Zerel's pleasure cave. Ash tries to get details, the room is on this floor someplace. They don't know what shame is, so they can't leave through either of the two mirrors.
Ash gives up and goes through the opposite mirror. Lady Zo asks one if he ever did something and wished he hadn't, focus on the way that makes him feel, tell the mirror about it. Persuasion16, one goes and tries. Success! The other two also succeed. We follow.
Rewards Zo with a small bag of dumplings, they smell good! They're not going to help us fight, though, because they're not idiots.
West twice is another stairway, up and down. Odd. We try down to see what else was on the ground floor.
A brig. Melek leads. There's a humanoid with tail and horns and a thick, leather blindfold. She tries to recall the Infernal words she was taught, which are unfortunately all curse words. "Is somebody there?" in Abyssal. "Come to taunt me some more?" Ash answers. Melek removes the blindfold. He looks her in the eyes, she fails her Charisma save, it disappears into her, and we are rolling initiative.
Melek goes first, and attacks Ash! As we attempt to subdue her, we're reminded her damage is halved and shared to Duraz thanks to having cast Warding Bond earlier. He cannot drop the spell until he takes an action on his turn. Kirin manages to disarm her. But then Digs got a 97 on his wild magic gun shell and most of us got hit by a fireball, which is enough damage shared to Duraz to down him and break the effect of his spell, just in time for him to roll a death save. Ridley manages to knock her out.
Before the creature can choose another target to possess, Art grabs and binds it to the jail bars looking away from us. We heal Duraz and Melek and withdraw back to the Shame Room, hereby named the Shame-ber. On the way there, we hear giggling behind the door to the north. Is it the Pleasure Room? But we need to rest, so we ignore it.
While recovering, we converse as Melek tries to make sense of what she did wrong there. Also, through the slats, the rain of fire has resumed.
Duraz opens the door to the giggling room. Nine of the sexiest people we've ever seen are having a pillow fight. One comes over to ask if we'we hewe to join in the piwwow pawty. And there's a door to the east. Ash begins interrogating her. That door is where they go for wibations, are we thiwsty? And now it's time for a mass WIS save! Ridley has a 10, and he can't resist the offer of those libations!
We fight a battle that involves a lot of charm effects. Lady Zo uses Inky Shroud to the point of annoyance to some, but the psychic damage speaks for itself.
The next room contains a bar, tended by another blinded human man. He greets us friendlily. Ridley wants a drink! The east wall has a lot of motionless gearwork, looks like it raises and lowers something in the adjacent room, and it's cobbled together from other original mechanisms. Kirin asks the bartender what it does. "That's the entrance to Zerel's chamber. I'm the only one who knows how to open it." Digs asks where Zerel's hoard is. "The whole town is his hoard." And no, he hasn't 'seen' anything. He's deduced we aren't here on amicable terms. We're all poured some mead. Zerel doesn't come in here often, very rarely. He's the only one who can operate the gate, which is presently closed. Ash uses Suggestion to have him open the way for us, and we Kuma down his roll to resist. He also offers to do some divination or identification for us. Ice arrows, Horn of Blasting which Zerel likes to use in the shitter with the activation word 'deuce', Danger Chimes that can be touched to cast alarm. Snack Sack of Scoobis, eating a treat gets you Bless or cancels one exhaustion level. Ash tries to give him the jewelry as a tip, but he has no need or want for it.
We pop south and open an unexplored door to the east. A dining room. Two women on the table, sliced open, many organs missing. Ridley grabs an unopened wine bottle, labeled Original Zin. And another bottle with horns poking out of the glass of Ale of the Flying Fist. Melek begins performing last rites, and the girl's eyes pop open, grabs Melek's hand and pulls it toward her open cavity. "You can't leave until you try Lord Zerel's hors d'oeuvres!" Ty cuts off her hand to release Melek. Digs opts to try some, and it's delicious! Better than any human he's eaten before. Ash vomits. "Can we go now?" "Yes. Zerel welcomes all of his guests." We get the flup out of there.
We head north from the first room. Stairs up, and a large metal plate that clearly was opened from the bar room. There's one way we didn't go, the other stairs up from earlier, but it's almost 11pm and we want to bring this to a close.
We hear wind throughout the next floor. Head down a hall that splits and has doors to east and west. We try the west door.
Bedroom. Nun lying on the bed, blinded like the others. Habit of the Church of Pelor. Melek calls out to her. She is trying to save Zerel's soul. He believes he must do the things he does, it's not a matter of wanting to. Her name is Deacon Anna. We recall what we learned about the Reverend Zeta, mention we know him. She acknowledges that they were... friends. Digs suggests he has died, but this gets no information from her. Ash asks directly if they had slept together, she says no. There's a locked closet here, which Digs attempts to pick quietly. It goes unnoticed. Picking it doesn't work, but unfixing the external hinges does. Within is a chest, which Duraz opens. Armor and shield, look goth as fuck. The shield says Goth 4 Lyfe on it, just like Lowell Lestrange's!! Ty assumes with glee that it is his very shield. The armor, a breastplate, looks like high quality metal but Digs can't identify it beyond that. Ty takes both. (+2 Iron Shield, Mysium Breastplate negates Criticals and gives the Strength equivalent for Uncanny Dodge.)
Opposite door, another room with a woman who looks like Elvyra with a riding crop sitting astride two dudes. She is not blind. And she doesn't want to let us turn and leave. Digs rolls a Nat20 Persuasion, and we book it.
We continue on, and we've reached the roof. And there is a blinding demon on the top tier behind us, crucified dragon behind him. Also, it's raining fire. He addresses us, but we don't get much conversation in before Melek starts yelling at him in Celestial. He spits and declares that he hates that language, and she flies into a rage, ending the pleasantries. Initiative.
Zerel drops concentration on the rain of fire, and the majority of his actions involve absolutely wrecking Melek and striking anyone else in range of his enormous blade. There are two beastlike creatures that begin the battle flanking him, but Zerel doesn't seem concerned for their well being. One is put down by one of Zerel's own area attacks while Ty keeps the other one occupied. Those with a direct line of sight to the demon find that they have to avert their eyes or risk becoming blinded by his visage. Lady Zo opts to try luring him to the edge of the keep by taunting him with Vicious Mockery, calling him weak in Celestial. This works too well; Zo fucked around and found out, down in one swing. Zerel turns his attention to Ash before Art sends his echo charging at the demon, causing his body to crumble to ash as he falls off the edge.
We see a tear in reality manifest in the air beyond the drop, and out steps a fiendish looking creature, all red, baller horns, sweet trench coat, sweet pitchfork. Looks down at where Zerel fell. Some recognize these as the trappings of an arch devil. Art alone recognizes him as Mephistopheles. He looks up at the lot of us. "I should have given YOU Dis."
Ash: "That MOTHERFUCKER"
== Season 2 - Spring '22 (Lune 28th 3124 - ?) ==
=== Book 11 (B): The Pre Show 1/16/22 - (Lune 28th - Lune 30th 3124) ===
Session notes:Mephistopheles invites us to follow him to a comfortable place to talk. 
We go through a ring of fire and emerge in an enormous library room. Lady Zo immediately looks for anything of interest on the shelves, but the books continuously seem to purposefully be things of zero interest.
The Tieflings take charge in conducting the conversation. Our host explains that Admaris came into possession of the Book of True Names, which he used to subjugate and lead a legion of demons into the Nine Hells. This enabled him to defeat and dethrone Asmodeus, and it was through Mephistopheles' background manipulation that Admaris took (and departed with) the City of Dis. Though Mephistopheles thinks it a foolish decision to bring it to the material plane where all the action is now happening.
In walks Glasia, daughter of Asmodeus, offering tea to her beloved. Tells Melek her eyes are up here, has sixteen of them for an instant. Leaves. (It's later explained that Glasia's appearance: black skin, red eyes, white wings... resembles Melek's vision of her deity.)
The Nine Hells NEED the existence of the mortal planes, for without them, what purpose do they even serve?
Mephistopheles wants to take us into his employ. There is a book in the City of Dis, and if we can get it for him, he'd make us a deal. Any and all attempts to get him to share additional details get the response that we will learn such things once we are in his employ. The Book of Black Secrets should be found in the Library of Dis. He can't go get it himself as one has to be allowed in.
When he is done with us, Mephistopheles reopens the ring of fire. We walk through it and return to the place we left, the top of Zerel's keep.
Ty returns to the bedroom to tell the nun that Zerel is no more. She is sad that he cannot be redeemed now, and various arguing occurs. She wants to stay and repent, and she won't be talked out of it.
We return to the sexy room. The possible succubus wants us to describe the battle, and Jables is selected to be the orator. He is bound and occasionally whipped. He tells the story, and Kiel mayors a Nat20 Performance down to a 1. The succubus uses her whip to injure Jables (and everyone else) whenever he displeases her, and she insults the halfling the entire time. He's asked to describe the final blow. "Zerel was such garbage, we killed him with one of our shadows, we couldn't be bothered to touch him." She is pleased, kisses him and releases him from the bonds, which Jables is allowed to keep. Iron Bands of Beloro. We get the whip as well.
We head back to the stairs leading up to an unexplored room. Two chests. Digs tries to determine if one is a mimic, and Lady Zo guesses that something bad will trigger if we open both at once, but Melek strolls up to the left one to open it and Duraz is undeterred from emptying the other. The chests contain Glamour Studded Leather Armor, a Mysium Mortar, and an Alchemical Hand Cannon. Things that might have been useful in the battle against Zerel, but here we are.
We return to the bartender, who doubts that we killed Zerel and plans to stay as long as they keep bringing his meals. We try to gather the judge and his wife, but they similarly don't want to leave. Melek grabs him to move him against his will. Does the same to his wife. This gets the blinded spouses talking, and they have a heartfelt reunion. They agree to walk together. We check on the "trolley problem room" survivors. They seem drugged, drunk, sedated. Ty uses Lay on Hands to neutralize poison on one, and it works! So he neutralizes the rest as well. Ash gives everyone a goodberry, then runs back to provide one to both the bartender and the nun.
Outside with our new refugees, the clouds are clearing and there's a blue sky. We head back to Arcadia with no difficulty. Hand off the survivors. Reeves admits us. We bathe and discuss things. Since the library can't be accessed by anyone seeking to go there unadmitted, Lady Zo suggests that we do nothing about it. If we never manage to get Mephistopheles the book, that doesn't change anything for us. But if the opportunity does present itself, we'll make the effort then.
We have lunch. Reeves tells us the Grand Marshall will see us for debriefing when we are ready. Taps a tree three times and it ripples. We step into it and come out of another tree within the tower.
As we talk with him, Ash opts to come clean that we were contacted by Mephistopheles to make a deal for a book. We're not in agreement that this was the best course of actions, but Admaris is apathetic about it, figuring that the book in the library was doing no good for them and their efforts to keep people safe. But IF we make it out of the library, anything we take out of there, we are not going to be permitted to keep it within the city. It also becomes clear, in talking with him, that Ash was never the actual reason he went on his rampage across the Nine Hells. It's established that he's been married before, and Senja was his other wife. Ash returns the ring before leaving.
We follow a convenient sign pointing the way to the library. There is a typical door, but set into the floor. Melek opens it. Stepping in, gravity changes so she is stepping on what would be the floor relative to the door.
A small room. There is a single book in the middle, which appears to be the library itself and fully an index. As we flip through the pages, the space of the room itself begins to change, looking like the pages of a flipbook animating the process, until we are in a fully stocked library.
=== Book 11C: The Time Dan Go Covid 1/30/22 - (Lune 30th 3124) ===
Session notes:Vix is Deputy Mayor while Kiel DMs!
There is a voice, which we hear choppily and repeatedly, saying "Hello, weary travelers!" We seem to be in a hexagon-shaped house with a thatched roof and walls lined with bookshelves. While Melek tries to determine the source of the voice, Ash opens a copy of Moby Dick. A splash of water and a whale tail erupts from the open tome, but a Nat20 save means they avoid being struck, and Ash shuts the book.
A different voice praises our wisdom, and the scene changes. We are in a desert and the voice is beckoning us to a clocktower in the distance. Ash tries to interact with a cactus, but it is illusory. Some hurry to the tower, but its door doesn't unlock until we all reach it.
Inside has X-Files lighting. A human-looking guy, bright red pants and matching boots, wearing a mask with a red lens, skin scarred from the fires of hell.
He greets us, speaking like Bane. "For a time, I was the Grand Archivist of Hell, appointed by Lucifer himself, an asshole. Hello, Ash. Good to see a familiar face." Ash greets Lloyd. "So what do you seek from my library?" The Book of Black Secrets. He asks what we offer for it. Neither money nor Lady Zo's library card suffice. Digs asks if we can perform a service in exchange for it. "Smart... dog-lizard thing." He has full control of this realm, but he's bored. Games, perhaps? Lady Zo has a Dragonchess set. Splendid! The scene changes abruptly again. We're outside, and where the clock face had been are bars with the outline of a person behind them. Dynamite is lobbed at us from a window on the first floor. A shot rings out from another window, nearly striking Ash. The Grand Archivist's voice admits he never learned to play chess. Some kind of robot-man emerges, and we hear what sounds like a tyrannosaurus as a gate opens out of sight somewhere. Initiative.
Some swarm the roboguy, who drops one of his guns thanks to Heat Metal. Lady Zo illusions some shutters over the second window. At the top of the second round, we hear Duraz is the one in the cell at the top. The dynamite enemy tosses flasks of acid at Kirin and Zo. Roboman drops grenades at his feet. Lloyd also comes into the fray, emerging from near the shuttered window, and starts blasting from his wrists. And the T-rex appears, ridden by a brunette woman in glasses. We start splitting our attention, and Zo Holds Creature on the dino. An anime protagonist joins the battle in the third round.
Once we've clinched our victory, Lloyd congratulates us. "Well, that WAS quite fun! I have one more game. If you win that, like you won this one, you'll get the book." Art notices a tear mark inked below Digs' eye and points this out to the rest of us. Lloyd explains that this marks his betrayal for having attacked in a way that put an ally in danger. Lloyd has personal experience being betrayed by his friends, it turns out, and it's a serious issue for him.
Whisked over to our second game, we find ourselves in an arena with unusual machines that anyone from the Forsaken Realm would recognize as motor vehicles. We split into teams of two, choose our vehicles, and prepare for a death race. Lloyd is going to be competing as well, and we're told that if we win, we will get what we came for. But to keep things more fun, we're promised an additional reward if we don't all gang up against him and actually compete with one another as well.
The event begins, and we race to the checkpoint. Some have difficulty managing their vehicles, and we start to learn to balance speed and the need for better handling. And at the checkpoint, our mounted firearms and throwable grenades become active. Rather quickly, we adjust to openly firing upon one another to attempt to disable the other vehicles, usually by attacking whomever is nearest. After Lloyd's firetruck explodes and disables another vehicle or two in its defeat, Ty and Lady Zo go full throttle for the finish line in their motorbike.
We are all back in the thatched roof building, and Lloyd congratulates everyone for our successes. We are given both the book and a special gift, which is later declared to be a working replica of Lloyd's wrist blaster weapon.
=== Book 12: What A Friend We Have 2/6/22 - (Lune 31th - Lune 32nd 3124 ) ===
Our party has obtained the book of black secrets. Now they need to find out if their new partner in the fight against the abyss is worth the exchange.
Session notes:Playing remotely, because plague.
Ash immediately opens the Book of Dark Secrets. The text is written in Abyssal, and it's hard to make out because it's written in old tongue.
Lloyd explains that he has no qualms with our taking in, unlike the other tomes, because it is not categorized as a book. Librus Oblivicon, designated as "other." Oh, my.
We take a long rest. Lady Zo transcribes the Identify spell. Ash attunes to and attempts to understand the Librus Oblivicon. We chat with Lloyd a bit, who is originally from what Avalon calls "The Forsaken Realm," more specifically, Detroit.
Ash is seeing about any possible connection between Glasia and her god, confirms (Nat20) that any similarity was all just a coincidence. Digs researches kobold history. Kobold souls return to the Abyss to serve Tiamat (praise Tiamat!).
Once attuned to it, Ash finds she can ask a question of the book with an hour of study. What should we ask? (And Dan checks to make sure Ash qualifies for attunement. Yes, game on.) "Is there a way to keep demons from crossing into Avalon? IntSave17, Ash passes out from the effort. Melek shakes them awake. We try again with stacking buffs to the Int save. d20+2d5+d10+bonuses=31!
The means through which a gate frequented by demons can be closed is with the Forbiddance spell. 6th level Cleric spell. Duraz notes this for future spell gain possibility.
Another hour spent consulting the book while most of us rest. What does Admaris really want from all this bullshit? Wait, that's not an ancient secret. How to restore the Nine Hells? IntSave16, falls asleep again. Melek, who keeps going on about how she often gets answers in her dreams, opts not to wake Ash this time in case the sleeping is part of its overall function.
When we're all awake, Ash has two levels of exhaustion, cured with another two Scoobus Snacks from the bag Lady Zo is carrying. Art searches names in the tome of the departed, which stops recording names after Asmodeus.
Given the option of going anywhere in the realm, we opt to head to Crow Rim on Duraz's suggestion. Lloyd opens a book in the geography section.
But after a surreal teleportation sequence, we find that we're outside Arcadia, and there are giant plumes of smoke in the direction of Arroyo. And lots and lots of screaming within the walls of Arcadia. Crucified, upside-down people on the walls, including little Spencer. "You let me die! You let me die here!" Towering above, a giant horned demonic creature with an enormous butcher knife/axe is wrecking shit. He sees us. "GIVE ME THE BOOK!" Duraz tells him to shove it, and a ball of fire is lobbed at us. Dex saves!
Lady Zo tries a fakeout with her second spellbook, but the enormous adversary is going directly for Ash. Those who try to flee are suddenly faced with a black wall, which has a gap in it we could fit through. Those trying to stand their ground and fight are pulled onwards into the tunnel, which closes behind us. Melek casts light.
Mephistopheles appears, but his image is unfocused and blinking about, not unlike bad reception. He's not sure where we are. Melek gives him a mouthful over what we just witnessed, but he tells us Dis is fine, and we're somewhere in the Abyss. One of Baphomet's labyrinths. He can't get us out of there now, but he can if we find someone else who's there. One of his generals was taken prisoner centuries ago, and is left there as a waypoint. His name is Yugo. Make sure you run if you see the Ba... (and Dan purposefully cuts from Jitsi).
We enter a labyrinth that is being revealed to us in sections as we explore it. Almost immediately, we find a demon commanding several wretched humanoids. "BEGIN WHIPPING YOURSELF OR BE DESTROYED!" We are all provided whips, some of which are kept because why not, but we launch into battle rattle than complying.
Once the dust settles, we hear a large creature coming from the south, scratching and sniffing. Deciding this is likely what Mephistopheles told us to run from at all costs, we book it in the other direction.
The next thing of interest we encounter is a man bound near a staircase that is blocked by a wall of force. He was a poet in life (and presumably a sinner as well) and can show penance by carving into his chest the name of what he loved most in life. We decide to take a stab at guessing it. (GET IT??!!)
Our Wordle attempt was as follows: "WOMEN" ... "BUSSY" ... "PRIDE" __I__ (D) ... "CHILD" ... That last one did it. The man feigns ignorance as to why THAT would be the answer. We treat him with scorn.
Spiral staircase upward. Opulent room. d100=72 for the treasure table! 8 gems 100g apiece (one is a pearl for Zo's Identify component needs), 4 potions (2x Superior Healing, Giant Strength, Heroism)
We could stay here a while and rest safely, but we opt to press on.
We encounter another bound human, repeatedly beaten. "Have you come to give me more of my treats, master?" He is Freaky Fred from Courage the Cowardly Dog. Zo gives him a Scoobus Snack and we leave.
Another one, elven woman. We don't waste time on her.
It's getting closer! RUN!
We find a passage that has standing water within, growing deeper as it goes. The water is found to be especially viscous. We turn back for now.
Another prisoner. Dwarf, missing his fingers. We backtrack more.
In what is possibly the northmost room, we find a lagoon with a lovely coral reef. The water here seems normal. Ridley goes in to look, and he is attacked by a spray of fish. We pull him back and opt to clear out rather than fight the enemies now revealed to us. (It's growing late in real time.)
Heading through the viscous water passage as a group, we round the bend and find that there is land beyond, and it is occupied by several large, crablike creatures. We roll initiative, but then opt to shelve the combat for next time.
=== Book 13: Something Something 2/13/22 - (Lune 32nd 3124 (+ Time in Abyss) ) ===
Our party has been beset upon by Baphomet the demon prince! He's captured them in his abyssal labyrinth. Mephistopheles could retrieve them, but first they must find one of his generals, Vugo.
Session notes:Nat is today's guest DM while Dan travels out of state for a wedding.
We battle the crab creatures, deciding on funny names for them. They aren't much trouble once we clear the THICC water.
They seem to have been nesting in a hollow beyond the labyrinth's outer wall. There isn't much of interest there among their filth, but Digs grabs some rusty scrap and makes off with a chunk of crabmeat and part of its carapace.
We still hear the roaring. It's echoing from elsewhere in the maze, so we're probably safe for the moment. There are multiple paths to explore from here.
One of the routes takes us to another chained individual, this one a Tiefling who seems to be going feral. For the most part, we're decidedly ignoring the incarcerated now, but Digs takes the opportunity to feed him some of the crab meat just to see if its consumption does anything harmful to a person.
Following another hallway, we find that we have come full circle to the place where we entered. The corpses from the first battle are still here, but they show signs of having been disturbed by something's investigation of the scene. Whatever did this, it's large enough that it moved the larger creature with seemingly little effort. We now have the opportunity to explore the path from which the creature stalking us was first heard. Using Pass Without Trace, we sneak in that direction.
This path keeps curving around, more tightly as we wind toward what is likely the center of the maze.
We hear some sounds from the final room, like hands rubbing? Ash barely makes out Abyssal speech, mostly too soft to hear. "Never coming... has forgotten you... enjoy this..."
Still sneaking, some peek around the final corner. There are three snakes the size of medium creatures, as well as a humanoid with brick-colored skin and horns, chained to the floor. One of the snakes is whispering demoralizing things to him, and he is trying desperately not to listen.
Initiative. As everyone moves into position to battle the snakes, Lady Zo casts Scatter to teleport the man out of the room and friends into it. As we battle, things begin lashing at us from the floor, moving through it as if swimming through the solid ground. Meanwhile, Ash tends to the man, who is confirmed to be Yugo, and heals him. Infernal:"You have not been forgotten."
Soon, a toothy maw is coming up from the ground, belonging to whatever creature is lashing at us without disturbing the material of the floor. It enshrouds the area in darkness.
Ash manages to dispel the darkness effect. Lady Zo successfully Holds Monster. Melee attackers crit it into submission. (Following the session, we all look at rules and stats and realize this should not all have worked as it did. Whoops, oh well.)
Yugo drags himself back into the room, refusing our help. He knows why we're here and what he must do, and so he opens a fiery pentagram portal. Mephistopheles appears. He commends us and beckons us through. Art commends Yugo and does an arm-lock embrace before departing.
"So, do you have the book?"
=== Book 14: I'm His & He's Mine 2/27/22 (Lune 32nd - 33rd 3124) ===
The fabled Libris Oblivicon has been recovered and so has the party. Are they willing to part with it in exchange for an alliance with an archdevil, though?
Session notes: 
Ash tells Mephistopheles, of the book, "It's definitely cursed." "That's the point. Wait, you didn't READ it, did you?" Ash isn't trying to hide it. "I believe it would be in your best interest to relieve yourself of the text." People argue that it is in Ash's best interests to do so, but Ash is struggling with the decision. "You can keep the book, I just have to look through it." Ash hands it to him, asks for an explanation of its use. He points to the item description in Ash's inventory.
Digs asks about the hijack of our teleport out of the Library of Dis. Mephistopheles tells us that Baphomet is a skilled scientist. Also, what we saw at the gates of Arcadia was surely an illusion.
"You can't unmake some things, and what has been done cannot be unmade, it can only be mitigated." So what's Mephistopheles' plan? To expand our resistance, so we need another ally. The ruler of a level of hell that Mephistopheles is bound by a covenant to never enter. Averness, First Layer. He can get us as far as outside the River Styx. We would be seeking Bel, the most powerful pit fiend. If we can go and persuade him to join the cause, we might have a chance to pull through. He is loyal to his orders from Asmodeus, to defend Bator at all costs and to never leave his post. Mike:"Does that make him the Master of Bator?" Dan leaves.
We are to try and get him to come back with us and bring his legions, which Lady Zo points out seems to be contrary to his orders. Mephistopheles hopes we can find a way to convince him. Digs starts trying to work out a loophole, or a deception. Melek asks about the Celestials and whether they can help. Mephistopheles says they've always had agreements, and he's working on contacting them, but they have their own battles right now. Our plane is not the only one experiencing a demonic incursion, after all.
We discuss again how defeated demons, devils, etc. tend to just pop up again later. But we're told that fiends that are defeated within the lower planes are erased from existence.
Duraz asks how dumb this Bel is. "The most brilliant tactician in the Nine Hells."
Digs wants to know about enlisting the help of other gods. Duraz:"We're NOT letting Tiamat out." Mephistopheles mentions she does have a lair in Averness. Digs looks more excited than the time he found that large opal. Her keep is in the Wyrmlands, not too distant from the Bronze Citadel of Bel.
We will be transported to Fortitude, the ruins of an old outpost. There should be a bridge near there to cross the river to the Bronze Citadel. The Wyrmlands would be beyond that.
We take a long rest. During the "night," Kirin and Jables hear soft snoring coming from the adjacent study. Kirin checks it out. Mephistopheles is passed out at the desk, having used the book. The desk is littered with papers covered in scribbles. He Nat20 stealths over to investigate while Jables goes back to sleep. But as Kirin doesn't know Infernal, he can't read the notes. He goes back and tells Art, who questions why he didn't just grab the papers. Some of the others wake up to the conversation, including Duraz who is determined to wake Mephistopheles purposefully. He uses Thaumaturgy. "Hey, Champ, the book put you to sleep." This wakes the party, but not Mephistopheles. Duraz shakes him awake, tells him the book has done that. People chat with him, and some get a look at the notes.
Old Infernal. We get to see it temporarily, just long enough to make out tiny bits that are meaningless on their own.
Melek asks about Glasia, who is rallying the cults presently. Art wants to see a map of the Nine Hells, but there isn't one in the study. "Arcadia's library has one. Have you ever met the librarian...?" "YES."
We take some extra time to create ammo, create a map, transcribe a spell.
Mephistopheles chants a rhyme to activate the mirror portal, and we step through. We emerge from a dustier mirror. This place has been abandoned for millennia, from the look of it. We can see a road of sorts, and in the distance on lower ground, what is likely the City of Bronze. We can't see the river from where we stand. The sky has clouds of fire. No signs of any life apart from us, nor the demonic incursion. We consider everything and start treading.
As we approach, we begin to see the river. Closer, we see the river itself is comprised of souls. There is an upturned boat, and we see the bridge. We roll Perception to see if anything is amiss, and we bring up the map on Roll20. There seems to be some movement under the "water" apart from its flow, near the boat and near the bridge. Towering, demonic forces emerge from the fluid, carrying souls in their claws and teeth. They see us and go, uhhhhh... Rolls to identify. Nonspecific demon brutes (huge) and (large) hezrows, foot soldiers of the abyss.
We do battle. Lady Zo summons a large hand and starts grappling and punching with it. When Melek approaches one, she has to roll Con against its overpowering stench. Ridley momentarily steps into the river and feels himself being pulled in, so he withdraws. Digs blasts three of them and destroys the overturned boat. On their turn, one of the huge ones confusedly strikes down its stunned neighbor thanks to Jables. Another lobs souls at Art, despite all our efforts to stop him.
Jet's Pizza for dinner. Then we win.
Melek is on the bridge, which seems solid and usable. We cross. Make it to the Bronze Citadel of Avernus, surrounded by enormous, polished, bronze walls. The walls are manned by high guard pit fiends at the top, very intimidating. They demand to know our business. Art claims we are emissaries with business from Asmodeus. Dan rolls badly and they buy it, letting us in. Pit fiends have baller armor, and they seem very well put together compared to the balors we're used to from Arcadia.
We come to the receiving officer. He looks at Art specifically and addresses him. "Alestro." "That's Captain to you." "Not any more." We have been let in to stand trial as deserters of the empire. This is all being explained in Infernal. Ash wants to know when this trial is occurring. Art tells the group, in Common, that we have a meeting with Bel, but first we have to go to a trial for an old friend of his. Jables calls bullshit, revealing he's understood the language all along. Art is shackled and led away. Duraz wants to know if we'll have the option of trial by combat. We're magically poofed to the courtroom.
Art is now clad in burlap. The room is very goth in style. Jables is led in to be his counsel. We set him up with ability bonuses and the like. An older, gaunt pit fiend enters from the other end and approaches the table. And then Judge Bel, Lord of the First is announced. He wears many marks of station and a belt with eight angel heads moaning. Duraz and Ty quiet Melek who is understandably not cool with this.
This court does not recognize that anyone who would abandon their post is anything more than garbage that should have been destroyed on the material plane long ago. Now, present yourselves. The prosecution, Turga, makes his introduction. Jables, "I'm Jables." Prosecution presents his opening statement. Turga makes statements about codes of honor, loyalty. This scoflaw is no better than the demons they face. Now it's Jables' turn, who has no idea what he's defending Art for, and stands and works his suspenders. "While I am Art's lawyer and friend, I believe we all deserve to hear exactly what happened, and hear him tell his side of the story." Turga motions that the defense be disqualified as the counsel is fraternizing with the accused. Jables is shackled. Bel is going to make his decision now, but Duraz speaks up, says he doesn't like either of them but will represent. Name is Duraz Baldric... follower of Kord. Mention of Kord makes Turga shudder. Opening statements. Duraz is deliberately careful not to call Art his friend and argues that Art was ejected against his will, therefore the accusation does not stand.
They call Art to the stand by his full name, which Duraz fails to recognize. He is asked to state his name, which he does. He is asked his official station, most recently. Private. The terms of your enlistment, when do they expire? At my death. Are you currently dead? This body is not that one. They ask the stenographer to recall what he stated his name to be, points out that the body is not on trial, but the person. They also bring out his printed backstory, which is ridiculously long. Will you verify that these are correct regarding your enlistment? They start to ask him to confirm his signature here, initials there, thumbprint... which is NOT his, but they go on to clarify that he was in possession of the body that laid that thumbprint.
Duraz asks if he could proceed in Common, but is told this courtroom only speaks in the purest of tongues. So he continues in Dwarven and is nearly held in contempt. Duraz apologizes, then asks Art to tell his own story, which Art then does. Explains that he has died several times, and this body is not bound by those rules. Turga wants to call Art again, who asks if they don't have other witnesses? There are three that witnessed his deaths and should still be alive.
As their whereabouts are discussed, the state of things outside the walls is brought up, and that we battled demons in the River Styx. Bel tells Turga to sit, who is taken aback. Duraz is asked to approach, explain how we came to arrive here. Duraz explains our conscription by Mephistopheles and our mission. "But I don't leave the citadel." Art shows the paperwork that records Asmodeus as dead. Duraz makes a Persuasion. Melek tries to help and nearly insults Bel to the point of her own death. With most of our rerolls and the Power of Kuma, Duraz makes his case. "Tell him that Bel is ready to serve Asmodeus's legacy, but NOT Mephistopheles." Duraz accepts this, goes in for The Powerful Handshake, and takes fire damage. "Have your master send me his battle plans." Turga wants to return attention to the accused, who plainly states that he's serving with others against the demon horde. Because of non-compete clauses, it seems this invalidates his other obligations, so OH WELL, case dismissed.
=== Book 15: You Rise Me Up 3/06/22 (Lune 33rd - Lune 34th 3124) ===
The party has made an ally who might have the resources to stop the demonic incursion. After they've proved their innocence in the infernal courts, they have one more ally. But will it be enough to hold back the hordes of the abyss?
Session notes:
Case dismissed! Art hops over to reclaim his possessions.
Turga grumbles and leaves, so we are alone in the courtroom. We discuss our options going forward. Digs is still gunning for visiting Tiamat, but no one is on board with this. Ty ends up having to hold the kobold.
We exit, and we're basically at the gate again. So we make our way back to the bridge. Digs looks over the wreckage of the boat, recovers an oar. Melek considers the souls, but is reminded that they're here for a reason. We carry on beyond the bridge and reach Fortitude uninterrupted. Within, we find the mirror gone.
Investigation(18), yes, something heavy has recently been dragged out of here, apparently intact, and right out the door. Child sized, humanoid feet. Survival(nat20), Art recognizes the prints of the siabra, demons that resist most attacks other than magic, warped version of the industry that exists in the mortal world. Between 5 and 15 of them. Ash manages to follow the tracks, which lead down to a little bunker that goes underground. Melek casts Light. Two Perception(nat20)'s, it goes down a ways and then levels off, don't see or hear anything. We head on in.
What had been etched in Infernal "Storeroom" has been scrawled over in Abyssal:"Siabra Beauty Shop" Art yells in Abyssal, "Are you open?" We hear a distant humming. We enter into a larger area with a series of 20 barber chairs, mirrors in front of each of them, all identical to the one we're seeking. Bright torches on top of all of the mirrors. None of them dusty. No sign of drag marks on any.
Melek goes up to touch one of them. The music changes. (It's the classical piece used in The Sorcerer's Apprentice.) The mirror clouds up, like condensation. All of them do this. And Melek's reflection is doing something she isn't. She wipes away the fog, and her reflection is not her. A nightmarish barber is in the mirror. He smiles creepily. Melek punches! Initiative.
Ridley attacks the mirror, Nat20, it shatters. Melek then moves to the next, clears it to see 20 barbers brandishing their blades. She also attacks it for 12 damage, shattering it. Moves to the next, 32 barbers. Attack, 8 damage, shatter!
Ty moves to the center and Perceives to see if any of the mirrors have movement different from the others. 17. One on the far right end has a solid fog unlike the rest. He points it out to the rest of us. Duraz goes to it and tries to wipe it, and it simply feels cold.
On Dan's turn, the barber's chair grapples Ridley and others attempt against the other party members near them. The broken mirror shards have tiny barbers climb out into the room, 40 of them, the total amount of damage we'd dealt to the mirrors. Whoops?
After a lot of AoE and chair destruction, Duraz tries to step through the mirror, but he slams into it. We roll Wis checks to try and recall the activation phrase.
"Mirror mirror, made of ice. Look within, and...?" "...but at what price?"
We are back in the lair of Mephistopheles. There is some faint, angelic humming. Mephistopheles is again at his desk studying the Libris Oblivicon. Drinking a steaming drink. Glasia is lounging and singing. He raises a finger so we don't interrupt, then acknowledges us. He's received word from Bel and sent his response, things will begin soon. And he's made contact with another plane for allies. The Primus. The name of the high ruler of the clockwork plane of Mechanus. They've calculated they should help us, BUT... they are willing to lend their aid only AFTER they are done with what they have determined a higher priority. They're sending an axial to purge Arcadia, as something that doesn't belong on the plane, at dusk tomorrow. "To prevent further complications, they believe everyone inside may have been tainted by planar incongruencies." Could we be sent instead to argue our case? We can't be sent to Mechanus for this, BUT we could contest the axial's ruling. It will arrive at the material plane somewhere, acclimate, begin powering up, and then travel to Arcadia and eradicate it.
Dinner!
After some more bickering, we set out to intercept the axial. Mephistopheles says we can contact him next just by calling his name.
We will find him as a stream 30 miles southeast of Arcadia. Also, we're now told that he will acclimate as he travels. We're transported to the plains outside Arroyo and the Dragonspine Mountains. Near a river, we see a medium humanoid figure with bronze skin, a shaved head, and a black blanket wrap. We approach.
As we address it, it turns and shuffles toward us. No response. Melek tries Celestial. "Are you the axolotyl?" He approaches her and holds out an empty, metal bowl. "Two?"(common). Melek:"Two?" She drops two pennies into the bowl. To Zo:"Three?" Does. Duraz:"Five?" Does. Ty guesses "Ten?" next. A:"...Seven." Does. Digs. "Eleven." Crossbow bolts. Jables. "Thirteen?" Does. Ash. "Seventeen?" Creates seventeen Goodberries. Tries offering another to eat, but he only wants seventeen. Ridley. "Nineteen?" Ridley needs help counting from the lot of money he's carrying. Looks at Art, puts 23 names in there. Puts the bowl into his cloak, starts walking away. Someone shouts "TWENTY-NINE!" He turns back to us. Thirty-one. Duraz casts Tongues to try and discern meaning, but it's still just the numbers. Digs tries putting 37 stones behind him. Alerted, the being begins picking up the stones.
We discuss what our aim is here. Is this even our guy? Zo:"I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing this." Digs tries drawing a picture, and this gets the being to identify himself as 41. Strumming 43 notes. Digs creates a drawing of a dragon, introduces himself thusly as 47. HAHAHAHAHA the being laughs at Digs. Ash shows a drawing of Dis. The being frowns, FOUR. Not part of the prime number sequence. Art draws people, 67. The being declares them four, sixty-four. Art draws Arroyo, 67, 71, NOT 4. 64, 4, repeating. He's beginning to grasp our primitive language. And yes, he is the axial.
(Kiel argues correctly that Tongues should have worked to convey meaning apart from words, but here we are.)
He is here, he tells us, to correct the incongruency.
Why is this one so important? He tells us that The Primus's calculations cannot be understood by our minds. Duraz asks if they could be mistaken. "If you can prove that we have made an inaccurate estimate of the risk level of Arcadia, we can relent." Ash argues that the incongruence is centered on just one person, but he disagrees. If you can bring to us 50 righteous souls from Arcadia, we will correct the priority and move it to the bottom of the task list. He does not have access to grant us the details of the next item(s) on the list. Digs asks if there are individuals on the list, and yes. And 85% likely that yes, others like him are on the plane to deal with incongruencies. Also, as for the circumstances of Dis returning to the nine hells, he has no actionable orders for that situation. (This continues to be brought up as a potential solution to the current problem, but we have no simple way to make that happen, and the people are still at risk.)
We determine this isn't a matter of morality, but extraplanar corruption. Lady Zo does her best to evade notice, in that she is quite undeniably from another plane. We're kind of at a loss how to approach this task.
We get to New Dis and are greeted by the Balors. "Righteous?" No, we tell the axial. He immediately banishes them. Guards freak the fuck out, understandably. (It's claimed we were told not to return, but no, we were told not to bring back what we take from the library.) We give our best explanation of the situation. The guard is going to go and get Admaris. We head in and the axial is processed. He have about an hour to gather our fifty.
Lady Zo gathers 8+1 children, convinces the matron to let them come.
Melek and Ash go to the druids. Melek is still calling him the axylotyl. Ash offers a better explanation of the situation. 14 druids.
Duraz heads to the reverend Zeta's soup kitchen. Explains the situation. Insight(24), 2d6(11) righteous souls. Persuasion(16) and they all go together.
Ty and Art to the barracks, the brave and the bold. They state their case, though they almost sound like it's a threat. 7 and 11. Persuasion(19) and all 18 go.
Digs goes to the tavern, orders a drink, cheers to the nearing end of the demon apocalypse. Paints a positive spin on what's going on, uses reverse psychology to seek volunteers because otherwise they're ALL dying tonight. Persuasion(5). Fuck it. He leaves with no recruits.
Jables heads to the town square to find the story tellers, the lore keepers. He asks who will help to tell the greatest story in the world. 2d6(8) people. Yeah, let's go!
Ridley goes into the tavern, just as Digs is exiting while giving the place the finger. "Who here has a story of heroism to tell?!" Persuasion(11). One guy who fought against the forces of Sico from the Forsaken Realm answers the call.
We go back to where the axial was being processed. He's not there. Admaris had him taken to the brig, and the sun is dipping quickly. The people from the barracks tell us where the brig is. We hustle. The guy who was our captain is guarding the brig. The axial was registered as an extraplanar being. Persuasion(28) to let us all in to see him. We hustle more. Admaris has the axial chained. A lot of arguing occurs, but Duraz just addresses the Axial.
Some of the party stand with their volunteers. Lady Zo does not and blinks away. Digs also has no horses in this race and stands off to the side.
The axial begins judging, turning those deemed unrighteous into pillars of salt. (Out of character, we eventually determine that those with chaotic alignment are the ones failing the inspection, but this never becomes known to our characters.)
18-10=8. Plus Ty and Art. (10)
Ridley's dude is fine, but Ridley is not. But he makes the Con save and is not transformed. (11 total)
14 druids and Ash are golden. Melek saves against becoming a pillar of salt. (26 total)
11 clergy, but not Duraz, who saves. (37 total)
Zo's nine are in the clear. (46 total)
Of Jables' eight, one is salted, Jables rolls to save. (53 total)
We're secure, but Digs tries to convince the Axial to judge Admaris. Which he does, evidently, but Admaris passes. "Righteousness is something that is mathematical."
The axial leaves.
Ash has words for Admaris about this being all his fault. Duraz:"Wow, when'd YOU get such a big horse!"
=== Book 16: Blessed Assurance 3/13/22 (Lune 34th - Lune 37th 3124) ===
The refuge of Arcadia has been spared its cleansing, but can our heroes save the rest of the land?
Session notes:
Our first encounter of the day is ten minutes of deep discussion over the result of today's Um Actually. (Dan declared this and was, at the end, dismayed that the lorekeeper remembered and mentioned it for XP computation purposes.)
We are moving the pillars of salt for proper last rites.
Ash takes up the conversation with Admaris about Dis no longer being safe. Admaris retorts that it's never been safe, and we've made it less safe with our actions. Also, leaving now guarantees peoples' eradication, whereas staying here has a chance of safety. These suggestions aren't terribly convincing, but Admaris's intentions going forward are perfectly clear.
The rest of us are in the catacombs to lay the salt pillars to rest. Melek says a blessing. Digs plays with a skull. Melek questions whether their souls are trapped in there, so Digs cracks one open. "Nope, no souls in here." Zo:"Please stop a-SALTing the corpses."
We discuss whom else we could turn to for help and why NO DIGS NOT TIAMAT. Duraz goes on to present that deities in general aren't likely to be much help given their nature, but demigods may be. Similarly, devotees.
We exit the city. We try saying Mephistopheles' name several times, several ways, with the intention to head back to his place. This is what we were told to do in order to return once our task here was finished, but it's no good. For lack of other options, we try heading back to the river where we'd returned to Avalon, but there is still no response.
So instead we try Mrs. Locke, and she does appear. "Oh, I was just about to come and see you." She has an employment opportunity for us, paid up front. She delivers a wax-sealed scroll, which Digs reads. It's penned by Mephistopheles, who suggests that his means of communication with us is being disrupted by Baphomet. It outlines a plan for us to intercept a cell of his followers heading to a nearby city so we can take their place and infiltrate the city, and destroy the machine there causing this disruption.
We discuss the fastest means of heading there. Digs trades Mrs. Locke the Horseshoes of the Zephyr for a cart and two horses. She poofs away, and the agreed things are in her place. And the horses look... wrong. Abused. Ash speaks with animals. "WE WERE SENT BY HE WHO IS CALLED I WAS. FROM THE LOWER PLANES IN WHICH HE RESTS AND WAITS." Great. Ash asks for two Snacks of Scoobis from Lady Zo, which the horses gobble down.
We establish turns driving and watching.
Three days' journey. Rolls decide that nothing happens. We eat goodberries, and Digs gives the horse a salt lick... the arm he had pried off of a corpse pillar. We reach the place in time.
Lady Zo casts Telepathic Bond so we can communicate silently and across distances. Melek leads the preparation of a trench in the road. Duraz is ready with Fog Cloud to conceal our ambush, and Ash becomes a falcon to spy what's approaching, ultimately spotting a carriage with two horses and one driver. Duraz obscures us. Ash goes in for a closer look. The driver looks like the Undertaker from the 90's. Ash keeps an eye on them to tell us when they reach our fog cover.
Their horses stop at the edge of the fog, but the driver encourages them in. At this point, we roll to see how well our covered trench trap was constructed. Survival(16).
The trap goes off without a hitch, BUT after the horses take damage and Kirin shoots off the driver's hat and disarms the dagger he draws (dealing damage that puts him under), AND Ty checks the back of the cart and only sees a couple chests, we start to believe that this isn't our target. But once he's healed and can answer Duraz's question as to whether he's seen any cultists, he says yeah, like nine of them, and they're in the back of his cart! Dex save against a sudden ice storm. Three times, which is apparently how long it takes the cultists to down themselves with it. Lady Zo manages to Absorb elements to survive the onslaught, just to be downed by knife attacks from the driver she had attempted to stabilize before combat began. Ty restores her.
(Dinner!)
The only items of interest apart from their clothes are several leather-bound books. But they contain awful poetry. Investigation(25) reveals that they are secretly... awful poetry.
We don their robes, hide the evidence of what transpired, repair the road, and head to the city.
There is a robed figure at the edge of the city. "Greetings. Narnar Bobo?" to Duraz who is driving the carriage wearing the driver's hat. Duraz wheezes and mimes that he had been punched in the throat. Deception(2+1) wait Inspiration, Deception(11). This succeeds, apparently. "You are the Narnar Bobo Seldo, yes? Is there someone uninjured I could speak to?" As we telepathically discuss how to proceed, Melek pokes out her head, "Hello!" She manages to talk her way through it, we're told we're running out of time and probably idiots, so he's leading us there.
Our arrival is announced, he says we're fucking garbage, and we're applauded. And it's our turn to perform. No sign of any "machine" here.
Duraz casts Thaumaturgy, boosts his voice to 3x. Recites the story of Kord and the Grandmaster of Flowers putting Tiamat into the quintuple headlock, but changing the names to make the story about Baphomet and his 7 dicks. Performance(18).
Kirin reads bad poetry from the book he's holding. It's awful. Performance(13).
Digs opens his book. Speaks praises to Tiamat. Performance(16). "You suck!"
"You guys sucked! It was a pleasure to have you." Turns out this was a haiku slam. "Did nobody tell you?" Duraz goes again, reciting a haiku. "That was like, grating on all of our ears. You grace us with your presence." Also, this is the guy Duraz pretended to be mute in front of.
"As the duke of this sect, I will present to you my poem."
Because we were the worst, we're being honored to receive the ritual sacrifice. We argue that this is not how our sect does this, but Duraz doesn't roll well enough. "Don't worry, it's ok for you to admit that Baphomet thinks you're a failure. I do too." He introduces himself now as Duke Anari. Duraz introduces himself as Duke Julius. 
Their sacrifice is another certain guy, a failure. He was charged with a holy quest to poison a water supply, which he did not do well enough, only killing half the population.
He takes the stage to bid farewell to Rapuzius. The cultist prisoner is walked out in shackles. He pleads and doesn't want to die. We chat telepathically to work out what we should do here, but Art slays him with Ray of Frost to mimic the ice magic we know the real cultists wielded.
They invite us to dinner, all deep fried foods. We look among the cultists, all of whom seem to be human but showing no sign of noticing or caring that we are not. Facial tattoos of puzzles on some but not all.
Art tries to stand and go take a look around, but a burly guy insists we all stay. "You know what's going to happen after dinner. You know, the orgy!" Everyone gets to choose their partner, he says in a way that is absolutely menacing, though possibly unintentionally.
Lady Zo recasts Telepathic Link. Ty:"I would like to see them try -me-..." 
The burly man makes an athletics check(?) against Art(21) and fails. He is pitched onto the table, his head in Kirin's lap. Kirin alters his illusory clothing to seem to be a chastity belt, which Dan rolls to see through (Glamoured Studded Armor). But he's going to try to reach underneath it anyway. The people at other tables are beginning to shove the food away and strip one another. Melek wrestles the guy getting into Kirin's pants.
Meanwhile, Zo Misty Steps away, and Kirin, Art, and Digs successfully sneak away. Ash also tries, but fails. Melek shoves the big guy off onto some other rando and sneaks off. Duraz has been oiling up to wrestle, and Ty is also prepping for conflict. "You think you're good enough for the CREAM of the CROP?" "Yesss, give us the CREAM!" Persuasion(16) for them to go fuck other people while he watches to prove their worthiness. Duraz screams internally, which we all hear. Ouch. Ty decides to punch anyone who looks at him. Someone resembling Pat from SNL is doing so. Ty tries to donkey-punch them in the back of the head, but fails the grapple and just punches them with Attack(1+9). Dan rules he still fists them in the face, and the individual's robe shows signs of a fresh jizz stain from within. Ash is being surrounded by three horny cultists, but manages to evade them. We all slip away.
There are three nearby buildings of note. Apothecary, quartermaster, and inn. Digs wants to check out the first one, so we duck in there briefly.
Only standard stuff he already has access to. Kirin grabs a poisoner's kit, Ash an herbalism kit. Quartermaster next. All mundane items. 5 flasks of oil Duraz takes. No gun powder. And we're starting to hear loud orgasm noises outside. We're going to hurry over toward the castle in search of the machine.
It features no moat, but there is a portcullis. Art echoes through, activates the lever. We scurry in and lower it again. Digs wants to sabotage the control in such a way that only he could use it again in a hurry, but failing to work out how to manage that, Lady Zo instead encases the control in ice for an hour or until she undoes it.
We enter a courtyard. Door straight ahead, another to the side. We go straight ahead. Entryway with spiral stairs up or down. No sounds in either direction. We try up.
Here we see some vandalized paintings, once nice, now marked with pro Baphomet garbage. Some of us hear snoring from upstairs to the right. We're making an effort to sneak. But as we get up there, the snoring stops. Art echoes over to the second doorway down, where we'd heard the snoring, and readies an action to stab if something comes out. But they then opt instead to slam their sword into the ground to brace it shut, which is accomplished loudly.
And in response, bright light begins shining on the other side of the door, strongly illuminating its outline.
=== Book 17: You Better Mind 3/20/22 (Lune 37th 3124) ===
Having successfully infiltrated a cult of the demon lord Baphomet, the party is trying to sabotage a device of extraplanar interruption. But it seems like this cult may have more than just cultists in its ranks..
Session notes:
A voice speaks to us in Common from beyond the door, "Did you come to witness the birth?" Ash opts to say Yes, so Art steps back and lets them take over this one.
Ash tells us telepathically that we're just gonna kill whatever this is anyway. Dan checks to confirm that, yes, this creature has telepathy. We're told in response, "It would not be in your best interests to try and undo what we are trying to create here." We're invited to come in and see. Melek kicks in the door (the wrong way, as we'd established via DM roll last week).
We hear the sound of an abjuration spell, probably teleportation. We look into what was once a bedroom, but now also features five cages. Within each is a human-ish baby, alive, misshapen in different, weird ways. Horns and such. Very fresh. There is a human woman on the bed, more pregnant than any human should be. We don't see anyone to whom the male voice probably belonged.
Ash checks Medicine(8). There is something very wrong with everything that's going on in this room. Melek tries speaking with the woman on the bed. She responds, weakly. "I'm just very hungry right now." Ash conjures Goodberries, and she wants to wolf down ALL of them despite one supposedly being enough.
She describes the pregnancy as a gift from Friedran, son of Baphomet. "He let me have a child of everyone in the cult... AT OOOOONCE!" People ready actions. There is an immediate spout of blood, and her tummy is glowing brightly. All the caged babies are also shrieking in a high pitch, and a swarm emerges from within her. Tiny, misshapen, partially horned, some goat legs, and we roll initiative. Two large-sized swarms are spewed into our spaces. Ew.
Digs fires the Boomstick, randomly producing lit dynamite that hits most of the room. But interestingly, the cages appear to absorb the fire damage, the babies within wholly unaffacted. The mom, however, is giblets. (Matt figured the fucking occurring outside is actively spawning these children real-time, so this may have been necessary to stop more being produced.)
Art discovers that the swarms are Vulnerable to Cold!
Digs, despite two rerolls, fails the save against one of the swarms attempting to enter his EVERY ORIFICE. Ew.
The shrieking babies attempt to possess those they'd affected on their first turns with a stun effect, one manages to take over Ridley who punches Lady Zo. But she destroys that one, releasing him.
Ty attacks Digs to try and get the babies out. This drops Digs to zero, but he's still standing somehow. Ty regrets his actions. Duraz then unleashes Cold hell on Digs twice, plus Flurry of Blows to apply three failed Death saves. Duraz has no remorse.
Dan interrupts to describe the effect of Matt's plot armor activating. We're told Duraz punched him in the face so hard part half of Digs' face flew off, but the missing chunk of his head reformed itself in a grotesque display, and he now has a demonic-looking horn. Also, he still has the teardrop tattoo beneath his eye from the library adventure.
On Digs' turn, he makes his first (new) death save, and then the baby swarm within him casts Fireball centered on him, affecting all but Lady Zo who'd quietly crept out of the room at the end of her turn.
Ridley cracks open the remaining cage and destroys the last of the shriekers. Now we're left with the swarm inside Digs, whom Jables heals. Digs screams internally. We all hear it telepathically.
We alternate attacking and healing Digs until he starts coughing up dead babies. He also snaps off his horn. Jables takes it. Ash heals people. We all work through the things we just experienced. Lady Zo decides we're not reinstating Telepathic Bond.
(DINNER?)
As we're recovering, we hear a violin playing, coming from everywhere. We decide to hurry. The music is joined by an Ann Raynd monologue.
Ash tries the first door, but there's nothing of interest.
We continue down the hall, hear moaning of extacy. Urgh. But let's go. We find a room done up in the style of a mead hall. There are people fucking, everywhere. But looking longer, we realize they're all blended together, a singular writhing mass. Standing at the far end of the hall is a statue of a winged woman holding a sword, smeared with filth like the walls of the room, but the sword is unblemished.
Melek asks Lady Zo if the wizard can Fly over to get the sword, but Zo volunteers to let Melek try this maneuver instead, and she casts Fly on her. Stealth(13) and a failed wisdom save result in a tendril shooting up from one of the writhing masses to grab Melek. We roll Initiative.
"The Fuck Pile that has Melek"
On every turn, we have to make WIS saves against the sounds of the fucking. Failure inflicts confusion.
Melek ultimately gets a Nat(20) Strength to pull the sword! +1 until attunement or Identify.
The masses keep grappling targets, allowing them to pull on top of the target and begin crushing them. Art escapes one just to end up beneath the other soon after. Lady Zo casts Etherealness to escape one and spends a turn performing reconnaissance outside the walls of the room before returning out in the hall.
Ty is sighing loudly as he engages a fuckpile in melee combat, expecting to be grappled and pulled in, but he manages to avoid the squicky fate many of us are experiencing. Jables manages to afflict one with Otto's Irresistible Dance. The fuckdancing is not a pleasant sight.
As Ash begins making death saves beneath one of the masses, Lady Zo casts Disintegrate, reducing it to atoms. The second is killed soon after.
We collect ourselves and recover the unconscious. Lady Zo summons Leomund's Tiny Hut so we can take a necessary short rest, perhaps a long one if we can manage it. The voice from before addresses us again, and we're told that we can rest safely, because soon we will surely come around and realize he is right.
We also Identify the sword Melek recovered: The Sword of Heironius (Sword of the Paruns)
=== Book 18: Listen to the Lambs 3/27/22 (Lune 37th - Lune 40th 3124) ===
The party has successfully infiltrated the cult of Baphomet, but they haven't found the device interrupting their connection to Mephistopheles. They may have to go through the son of Baphomet and decipher his objectivism to find salvation!
Session notes:
We do manage to get our long rest. The entire while, the violin music and spoken mantra can be heard from all directions, but we have no difficulty sleeping through it.
"I hope you rested well enough that you will join me in our perfect future." "Join me in my music chambers, just past the birthing room." Duraz pulls out the Horn of Blasting in preparation for some music making.
We head that way, and we're hearing the music now from the direction we're headed, not magically projected as before. We enter a torchlit room, and we see the lithe, glowing-eyed person on the event cover page playing the violin. He's accompanied by several floating instruments. It's difficult terrain moving toward them as the music seems to be pressing back against us.
"There is no need for bloodshed today." He says that he'll let us have what we've come for, ending the disruptor that is preventing contact with our patron. But first, we must sing in accompaniment to his music! (He's also pretty sure we'll come around to his side after listening to his manifesto for hours.
At this point, Dan puts on the Bardcore version of the song I Need a Hero. Jables sings lead vocals while everyone who's willing supplies backup vocals. We get into it, more or less. It is at this time that the entire group discovers that Jables, our very musical bard, is not proficient in Performance. (???)
Friedran, son of Baphomet, wants to make sure we were paying attention to his mantra, so we're being quizzed on it. As everyone had done their best to ignore all of it, this proves challenging.
Three questions. Pursue what? Pleasure. We stumbled into the correct first answer, but things fall apart immediately after. What is the creed we are striking against? Ash wants to cast Sunbeam. The unenlightened? "You missed that part." What oath can you pronounce to change the world? Fuck you Dan. Leaves of three, leave them be. Leaves of four, eat some more.
He sighs. What a shame to waste such promising performers. At this point, Matt reads the oath verbatim from the Internet, but then fails the Wisdom roll for Digs to have actually recalled any of that. We roll initiative.
Friedran plays a screech on his violin that causes fear in those who fail the Wis save, except those near Ty who are guarded by his Paladin aura.
The torches along the wall cast shadows that attack us during the lair action turn, and the invisible demons playing the instruments become visible upon attacking Melek.
On Friedran's next turn, he strings a Confusion-inducing screech, and on the next lair action, shadows manifest as five creatures and attack. Those only last one round, we find after blasting them with Radiant damage to exploit their vulnerability.
Pinned in the corner, Friedran asks "Don't you know who my father is?" and summons a Large demon in front of him. But Ash Sunbeams them both, dropping him, and Art rushes in to coup de grace and ensure his demise.
On the Large one's turn, it scoops up the corpse. It and the remaining demon instrumentalists turn into fire and escape into the torch flames.
DINNER!
Melek smashes the violin, thinking it's the device. No one is amused. Digs and Duraz collect the pieces for repair and Mending later.
With the music finally silenced, we are able to hear some commotion outside. Looking out a window over the courtyard, we see that the orgy has packed up from the site of the dinner, and the cultists are approaching the keep.
We hurry down the steps to explore where we hadn't been. We can see there is a mob outside the portcullis. Melek runs over to jam the control, but her attempt instead causes the portcullis to begin to rise. Duraz casts Sleet Storm to slow them, and we head down.
We come upon a locked wooden door. Melek kicks it down. In the next room, we see what appears to be a jail cell. Behind it, a great, black, crystalline obelisk. Duraz attempts Shatter on it, and as a construct it has disadvantage. Digs picks the lock on the cell door. Lady Zo uses her readied action to blast the first cultist to come in through the door behind us. Duraz Shatters the crystal again, this time bursting it into shards. Duraz calls on Mephistopheles, who appears. Digs snags some of the crystal before departing, and Ty goes last as we step through the portal to his study. "Great job."
Art reports that we may have killed Baphomet's son. Digs asks if they could rebuild the device, and we're told that making one in the first place is costly, and creating a second one is unlikely after all the trouble we caused breaking it. Ash asks for updates, and Mephistopheles tells us that the text continues to be agonizing to go through. Duraz speaks AT LENGTH about our ordeals, and the very specific horrors we witnessed, much to our chagrin. Mephistopheles suggests we rest.
While we rest, Ash tries to sneak out to witness Mephistopheles' progress studying the book. But Digs tries to stop them, and we X this discussion to advance the plot. People do their things: making bullets, crafting poison bullets from the scorpion venom, reading books, repairing and Identifying a violin.
Glasia greets us in the lounge after our long rest, looking suggestive as can be. We can't tell if she's doing this purposefully, but Insight(19) Duraz can see she's laying it on somewhat. Who's hungry for dumplings? She pulls some out from behind her. Also, by request, water. Lady Zo stands where she can see behind her, hoping to witness if this happens a third time. Melek asks direct questions about Glasia looking like a Celestial, and Glasia gives a We Are Not So Different You And I response. The upper echelons of the Nine Hells were former Celestials who'd wanted to go all out against the Abyss, and then defected to form their own plane. This is perhaps part of why the upper realms are hesitating to offer us aid. And while Duraz suggests -we- should try to appeal to them instead, we're told that her paramour has something more pressing for us.
We head over to Mephistopheles' desk, still littered with his ciphered scrawl. He tells us that he's been studying, and there's something at the center of the infinite layers of the abyss, something called The Heart of Evil. If we could reach it, he believes we could control what is happening here. What is the Heart of Evil? Concentration of the worst arcane frequencies from a plane that was dying and tearing itself apart, its final expansion spreading into our multiverse. And he believes that this is what's emerging from The Abyss, its emanations. He's trying to discern how to destroy it, but first he wants to see if it's possible to have it recall the effects it has already emitted.
The Dwarfs who used to reside in Slewage may have had the equivalent to a map that we would need, kept in what remains of their library. The new Lord of the Mountain would certainly be difficult to deal with... but we have surprised Mephistopheles before with our ability to negotiate, and he's not certain there's any other way to accomplish this.
Duraz explains everything the Dwarfs know about Hector Diversey. (See: Pride of Avalon)
While trying to make sense of the various facts and rumors, we're told that the Diversey Keep has been transported, making the mountain above Slewage his full base of operations.
What we'll ultimately be seeking is a codex which details the geography of the Abyss, penned by a Dwarf under demonic possession.
We spend a lot of time spitballing ideas. (And recalling what we can from the past campaign.)
He opens the portal to send us to the cavern entrance to Slewage, as close as he can without tripping any scrying. We go. It looks spooky. Ash notes a nearby tree in case we need it later. Lady Zo and Duraz lead, the former detecting magic. The passage is roughly hewn and dry. A side entrance, well traveled but not a main route. We go an hour. Eventually, see a light ahead of us. Faint, flickering like a flame. A candle? It's lighting a larger chamber than the halls we've been traversing. Two manage to see the line of crystalline dust purposefully laid across the entrance. Arcana, a combination of sanctified salt and saltpeter, traditionally used in warding spells. But is the warding spell keeping something out, or something in? Detecting abjuration magic on the Prayer Candle to Saint Lestrange. In turn, we each step over the ward carefully, and no one is affected by it. The flame flickers a bit and gets a little larger. And we start hearing noises all around us. Digs suggests we step back across the ward.
But before we can respond, Lady Zo, Jables, Digs each take a level of exhaustion. A creepy, feminine voice surrounds us, speaking in Common. "I've been so hungry."
=== Book 19: I Will Rise 4/3/22 (Lune 40th 3124) ===
In the dwarvish city of Slewwage the Scourge group saves Hector Diversey's wife, but only to sacrifice their own under the mountain,
Session notes:
Dan is late. After he finally arrives, he creates the event for today by request.
Initiative. Morrigan manifests in front of the candle, which is on a rock outcropping on the edge of the cavern. Smoke is billowing off of her body. She causes darkness to eliminate from a point within our group. Magical darkness, but the candle is still visible to us.
On his turn, Duraz suggests to Morrigan that we can free her to feed on more than our small group if she's willing to bargain with us. Persuasion(Nat20). The darkness abates. She wants us to erase the warding lone, but Duraz insists Diversey appear for the negotiations.
We ready actions. On her next turn, she announces that no one will keep her here, not us, not Hector Diversey! She begins casting a spell, and we unleash those readied actions. Morrigan then points at Lady Zo, and she telekinetically uses the Muppetborn as a dust rag to wipe clean the warding line.
After some failed attempts to slow/grapple her (hey, look, etherealness), she flees!
Investigate(19). On the opposite side of the cavern, Lady Zo finds that a large rock is set to close off an additional passage. The stronger of the bunch move it. There's another warding line there.
The candle has TWO magical effects. The candle is one, and the flame is another. Conjuration. Digs opts to bring the candle along with us. (If anyone in the party was hungry, we are not any more. This candle may have been left here specifically to sustain Morrigan.) 
Melek disturbs the second salt line, figuring that Morrigan may serve as a wild card if we fight Diversey. Digs collects the powder.
The tunnel eventually ends at a large, steel wall. Investigating, it's something put up over a passage. Duraz attempts to shove it, eventually causing it to collapse. Shelves with figurines of hobgoblins. Tee shirts. Oh, we're in the Hob Topic of Slewage's shopping mall area. Digs grabs some armwarmers, looks for the safe, finds it empty.
We look into the mall proper, see no warding circle. Where there had been magma in the center, it's all hardened and cooled.
Art is attacked once they exit the store. A whip wraps around their ankle, and Art is dangled upside-down "Oh, you demons haven't had enough, I see." Dreadlord Hector Diversey. Duraz begins to negotiate with him, but then Diversey sees Digs with the candle. "Why do you have that?" "You let her go?" "Whatever help you need, I can't do it. I have to go NOW." He takes the candle from Digs, who lets Hector have it. "Oh, and if you don't leave my lair, I WILL kill you when I return."
Duraz does a History(22) check and recalls that municipal facilities are usually on the lowest level. We make our way down. We hear a now-familiar voice, "So hungry..." The three Arcane magic users again take a level of exhaustion. Lady Zo distributes (4) Snacks of Scoobis to negate that effect (2 for Jables who hadn't leveled)
We continue down a few more levels and turn to come face-to-face with Morrigan, looking a bit more corporeal than she did before. She attacks Lady Zo and reduces her HP total by 22 in a surprise round, during which Melek also gets to attack because Barbarian, and Digs fires because readied actions.
During the first round, Hector shows up, prompting Morrigan to sink into the stone to exit the battle. Now he's willing to work with us. "If you help me get her back in the sanctuary, I will help you find what you're looking for."
DINNER!!
We split the party. By Diversey's suggestion, the three arcane drinking fountains are going off as bait, and he will teleport us to the holding chamber once he's finished preparing it to hold her again.
We go check out the Guitarresque Center where Jables finds some instrument strings. Morrigan shows up, as expected. Jables taunts her by dropping his trousers and whirling his dick around. She gives chase while Digs and Zo take pot shots. What Lady Zo recognizes as a Teleportation circle begins to manifest, and Digs and Zo crowd around to be brought along.
Back in the chamber with the rest of the group. Morrigan uses a force blast to knock away those surrounding her. Digs is sent flying into the candle, destroying it but leaving the flame suspended in the air. But that flame must be sustained by a virtuous soul! Ty volunteers to stay and keep the holy flame alight while the rest are to try and flee the room past the warding line. Diversey reminds us that we are not to harm Morrigan, which does nothing to stop her continuing to root and attack the lot of us.
Ty is rooted, so he cannot approach her OR the flame, so he Compels Morrigan to Duel. "IN THE NAME OF SAINT LESTRANGE, FACE ME!" The rest do manage to run, fly, and Scatter spell from the chamber.
Once only the two remain, Diversey hauls the rock back into place, closing off the passage. Morrigan questions Ty. "So. Did your friends abandon you too?" "No, I rescued them." "So what happens now?" "Now, we live."
People feel several emotions. Drawings are made following the session.
Diversey grants us permission to go and find what we seek from the library, but warns us that there are demons within the place. "They are the disciples of the Demon Prince of Undead, Orcus."
=== Book 20: The Old Rugged 4/17/22 (Lune 40th - Lune 41st 3124) ===
Having found a peaceful way through the ruins of the old dwarven city, they must now plunge the depths of the library for a book that may be the atlas of the abyss
Session notes:
Matt: "I make Nat frown. It's not hard."
Orcus is a demon prince, one of the oldest, and damn-near a demigod if not actually one, on the same level as Demogorgon.
As we travel, the walls turn abruptly into obsidian. Lady Zo's Arcana(22) says that this may be the result of planar emination expanding across the existing stone. She establishes Telepathic Bond. Ash establishes Pass Without Trace.
We continue, and the passage becomes slate, and a closed door of obsidian. As we stealth forward, eyes pop open on all surfaces. Jables tries stabbing them, but more appear and replace them. They peer at all of us, then focus on Art and shudder.
We press forward, and beyond the door we hear a lute melody. Jables pulls out his to accompany. And as we go closer, we hear moans of pain. Art tries the door, pulling it open toward us. The next room is a receiving chamber with a granite desk, like a secretary's, and a demonic woman playing a lute: a still-living dwarf on the table, his chest spread open, whom she scolds for being out of tune. Melek drops Digs and charges at her. Initiative. Dan wonders aloud if we will stop Melek to attempt diplomacy instead, but Kirin has the highest roll and comes out blasting. This was enough to fell her. As Ash goes to check on the dwarf, he begs for death, and Digs obliges. Kirin yells at Digs, asking what Ty would have thought of this action.
A voice from an adjoining room, "Visenya? Is that you?" "Yeah!" Bluff(13) Art recognizes the voice of someone who "does a thing, with bodies."
Tekezain, looks like some kind of mob doctor with tattoos and horns like slicked-back hair. Guido-demon. Wife beater shirt. Talks friendly-like with Art. It becomes clear this is the guy who helped Art with his body-swap, with the Infernal being telepathically translated for those who don't speak the language. Where's the library? We're using it for the brood chambers. You need something from it? Tekezain pulls out a black obsidian medallion marked with runes, hands it to Art so the cultists will leave us alone while he holds it.
More chatting in Infernal. He's surprised we made it past that vampire guy with the whips. Hector hasn't done anything in here, but some of his vampire dwarves have been "put to use," or at least their bones have as building materials. Art warns Tekezain that he should probably take off, that the mountain won't stay safe for him for very long.
Some 50 cultists working on a construction project with bone. Art flashes them the medallion, and they let us go about our business. We enter the library.
High shelves with ladders. Similarly tall card catalog. Lady Zo casts Understand Languages as a ritual to read it and narrow down where to search. (Soon after, Kiel shows up so now we have Duraz, someone who can read Dwarvish)
Lady Zo proposes we start in the following four sections:
912 Graphic representations of surface of earth and of extraterrestrial worlds
919 Geography of and travel in AustralEast Avalon, Furic Ocean islands, Calmic Ocean islands, and on extraterrestrial worlds
990 History of East Avalon, Calmic Ocean islands, Furic Ocean islands, Nortly islands, extraterrestrial worlds
999 Extraterrestrial worlds
Ash, Jables, and Zo search in 999. Lady Zo is, of course, looking for any information about the Plush Plane but comes up empty. But we get a clue about the almanac. "See Also: Gideon Cavebuckle's Abyssal Topography. Class 800.
Meanwhile, others look about the environment. All across the floor, there are what seem like coffins with seals on their tops. The seals are recognized as pertaining to necromancy, some slowly-acting effect. There is also a vault-like door, beyond which is probably a dwarven orary. Like a planetary map, but used for transport to other oraries on this plane.
899 Literatures of non-human languages of Oceania, of miscellaneous languages. Duraz locates there Gideon Cavebuckle's Abyssal Topography. The book is fucking enormous, leather-bound. He refuses to open or examine it, noting the problematic nature of certain other books we've recovered from libraries in the past. As Lady Zo starts casting Detect Magic as a ritual, a seal falls from one of the coffins as it opens. Standing from it is what looks like a bloated, highly dead version of Art, wearing the same clothes Art is now. Initiative.
"When you summon the echo, nothing happens."
We fight them some, but there are always more zombies approaching. Ash tries summoning Mephistopheles to no avail. Then tries Mrs. Lock. Out of desperation, tries Mr. Book. No response to any of these. We all head across the room toward the orary, which is determined to be locked requiring a specific key, and Lady Zo casts Passwall under the door granting us passage.
DINNER!
Ash Dispels Magic on Passwall, keeping the zombies out, but more importantly, Tekezain. He is outside the door now, and arguing with Art about the terms of their agreement and who owns what. "You may have given us the best weapon to win the blood war." Suggests the agreement allows Tekezain to create however many copies of Art's body as he wants.
Duraz looks over the empty fuel cannisters and explains that "we need the sooooul ofadrgn." By request, he repeats this a few times, ultimately enunciating so people understand it runs on extracted dragon soul.
Tekezain has left to get the key. Time is limited.
We speculate whether Digs can provide what we need to activate the device and escape, but he shuts down that idea.
Mrs. Locke makes her presence known and apologizes for the delay. She'll get us out if we agree to help her with something. As she's never done us wrong before, we all agree to the vague terms and poof away.
"Things have been hectic in Gehenna for a little while, because... you said Mr. Book. He's not coming, because there is a secession battle over the title of Mr. Book. We're gonna kill the one who's not my father." Ash inquires further.
"Before I was born, my father and my mother were both performers in a circus. When I was being born, there were complications, and my father had to sell part of himself to make sure I lived, to an ultraloth. And so, he obtained the title of Mr. Book. And for some time, I was raised by mother mother alone. Over time, things escalated, and my mother sold ME to the yugoloths to get him back. And the circumstances of the contract, she didn't read well enough. She would get back her husband for as long as she lived. The unexpected, abrupt end of the Blood War resulted in her life being lost, and Mr. Book was returned to service, but they'd already appointed another Mr. Book in the mean time. They were calculating, but the ultraloths never calculated that the demons would win the Blood War. The plan should have been to keep her alive exactly as long as it was until they needed my father, Mr. Book, back."
We are to see to it that the other contender doesn't show up. Vandor. Wait, no, Phil. "I could arrange for you to have an audience with him."
Long rest. Lady Zo trades the Danger Chimes for the necessary statuette to cast Contingency.
Digs wants to smelt the costume jewelry into the shape of the symbol of Pelor. He also gets the opportunity to reveals to all what Jables and Ty learned back when they melded into one fake dragon: Digs was never actually a dragon. His former master, Varenth the Indominable, is dead. His kobold horde was cursed with a draconic lifespan to always serve their master and no other. "None of us may die of old age, we must be killed by another creature. Many begged for death, only three remain. For 300 years, unable to breach that dimension to get him back." Melek now understands why Digs is so quick to put others out of their misery. Digs chews out Ash for their treatment of him.
More shopping. Art destroys the mark of station lent to them by Tekezain.
We have to decide on Yugoloth-appropriate names for this plan to work, ideally ones that we'll be able to remember for one another. Melek is Ms. Glaive, Jables is Mr. Bell, Ash is Mr. Bark, Kirin is Mr. Business, Duraz is Mr. Fist, Digs is Mr. File, Ridley is Mr. Punch, Art is Mr. Key, and Lady Zo is Ms. Shades.
The Tower of Incarnate Pain is down 8 buildings, to the left. We are there to discuss the terms of his continued contract. He's 9 feet tall.
We finalize our costumes. Elements that reveal our actual races aren't important, but religious symbols are absolutely a no-no. This only causes a problem for Melek who will not remove her head scarf. Lady Zo creates a Minor Illusion to create hair obscuring the scarf, which is identical to Zo's cotton candy-like upright locks of shocking pink. But then Jables recalls his disguise kit and fashions a much more sensible wig for Melek.
As we walk, we pass several yugoloths. Some look human, others look like greys. We're not given any trouble on our way to the Tower of Incarnate Pain. "Greetings. I'm Mr. Gate. Do you have an appointment?" We introduce ourselves. Have we been debriefed? Several bluffs, including numbers for reports (6942044372, 80085) and badge numbers. Those who invent badge numbers of low digits catch his notice as they should have been at this a very long time. Lady Zo gives the number 8472, prompting him to remark she must be quite new, to which she agrees and notes she is quite green. Someone gives a number he recognizes as his boss's badge, but we bluff our way around it suggesting the different departments clearly don't communicate like they're supposed to, and this is always causing problems across the entire system, amirite?
Art hands him Tekezain's card.
We are let past, and we reach an enormous spiral staircase, with bodies hanging from chains in the center space. Without an obvious better way up to the 88th floor, we begin climbing the stairs.
After 8 flights, we watch as one of the chained bodies drops, and then comes back up and past us hauling a yugoloth. Ah, so this is the elevator system. At floor 20, we reach a stopped chain, and some get to try this.
Ash takes the chain and commands it up to 88. The rest hope the chain will return, and when it doesn't, we try calling it back in Abyssal, which doesn't seem to work. Meanwhile on 88, a yugoloth begins questioning Ash, clearly having observed our slow progress until this point. "Oh, you're new around here? That's unfortunate, because Mr. Book has an appointment with some more... seasoned members." He casts Zone of Truth on Ash, who passes, so he instead locks them into Mr. Book's office.
=== Book 21: Uncloudy Day 4/24/22 (Lune 41st 3124) ===
With the abyssal map in hand, the party found that old friends may have new allegiances. Desperation has sent them to the Tower of Incarnate Pain where they may learn if the name is misleading or not...
Session notes:
The yugoloth addresses Ash. "I'll go and let the boss know. Do you like music?" He winds up some 1920's music on a Victrola-like device. "Here in the Tower of Incarnate Pain, it's forbidden for Yugoloths to harm one another." He then leaves through another door, opposite the one through which the two entered, locking Ash alone in the room. Ash's attention is drawn to the domed ceiling, adorned with several pictures of a guy in a nice suit bouncing a ball. The dome begins rotating and animates like a zoetrope. Ash looks away, but soon is also hearing the bouncing ball. The man in the animation catches the ball, and he looks at Ash. His body decays away, and the ball drops from the ceiling to the floor. Ash notices the skin on their hands is looking... older, more ashen. Shrinking, like they are aging rapidly. Ash goes to turn off the Victrola.
(Dan is amazed that multiple people at the table know what a zoetrope is, calling it by name unprompted.)
Back to the rest of the party, the chains aren't moving for us. The next place with a chain is at floor 26, where there are two in wait. Melek and Duraz each grab one and try to activate theirs to no avail. Abruptly, there's a giant yugoloth behind us. Abyssal:"First time here?" Art answers that they're enjoying watching us newbs, and the guy chuckles and is going to walk away. But Lady Zo begs him to tell us how to activate us. Art fails the Deception(7) roll, and the yugoloth wants us to go to his office to run our badges.
In the room where he's led us, we experience the same ball-bouncing thing Ash had seen. With an Arcana(27) roll, this is recognized as some Time Magic thing. With a level 7 Dispel Magic and Int(24), Lady Zo manages to short out the Victrola. We see a door on the opposite end.
Meanwhile, Ash is trying to figure out how to stop their Victrola. Level 5 Dispel Magic, Wis19, and Ash defeats it. They go over to investigate the ball, and there appears to be nothing special about it. Ash goes to the far door (that the dude exited through) and listens through it. They hear the ticking of mechanisms, no voices. Picks up the ball, sits in the chair, bounces it. The phonograph plays one note when it bounces, so they don't bounce it again.
Digs looks at the Victrola. Melek tries the far door and finds it locked. Our room has a ball, too, which Digs finds to be unremarkable. Melek loudly attempts to break down the door. Digs then tries thieves' tools. Ridley takes the ball, holding it. Digs is successful.
In Ash's room, the music starts playing again. Ash tries bouncing the ball again, and doing so stops their skin aging. So they continue bouncing it. (Oh yeah, the animation had the effect occur when he stopped the bouncing.) Also, the mechanism noises in the next room have seemingly stopped. Ash knocks on the door and receives no answer. Says "Mr. Book" three times, no response. Grabs a book, Abyssal, full of names. Looks for own name, decides they're giving us five minutes to catch up and rejoin them, which pass.
The rest of the party opens the door to an octagonal room, with three more doors in the cardinal directions. Melek wants to try the left door, which she finds unlocked. Inside we see the room Ash is in! Those who enter begin aging. Duraz and Melek try to smash that room's Victrola. Melek succeeds, and Ash stops bouncing. We touch base.
Duraz tries the door Ash entered from, but beyond that is another octagonal room. Ridley tries those doors, finds them locked.
As we discuss what to do and Ridley braces to force open one of the doors, panels come down long the walls without doors and begin rotating. Pictures of yugoloths begin animating, and then talking to us. Wisdom save. We all pass, but now we're going around the table with our actions and attacking the mechanisms. Those who try to make direct contact take slashing damage. Ash determines that the image is casting a spell and tries to dispel it.
On our next turn, we get some failed Wis saves. Lady Zo sees Chadwick, who beckons her near, and she takes slashing damage from the spinning screens. Melek sees Glasia and approaches as well to the same result. Art sees Lord Levitscus, takes slashing damage. Jables sees his mentor, Dio. Duraz passes with a 17, sees a yugoloth, and is able to act normally on his turn. He hits with a few of his attacks. Digs flies with them to match speed, and sees an unmoving image. He blasts it with his boomstick. Ridley passes the save, and he attempts to shove two of us away from the images. Zo is tossed, Jables resists. Ash attempts to Dispel Magic, Nat20, and the spinning stops.
Lady Zo continues destroying the inert panels. The door to the room we exited still stands open. Art opens another door to an office, but where there had been a lithograph is instead a rabbit, pinned to the wall in several places. The other two doors open to an octagonal room. We all enter the rabbit room and the door shuts behind us.
Ash checks out the rabbit with Duraz assisting. Medicine(15) tells them that this rabbit is still alive. Cures Wounds and releases it. The rabbit looks up, says in Abyssal "We are too late, he is come, I've told him everything." Who's coming? "I've told him who you are. Mr. Book." Which one? "The Ultraloth." "I'm Mister Wabbit." And he blinks away. We ready for a possible battle. Digs complains that we could have fed the rabbit to him instead.
Lady Zo casts Mind Blank, and others make their own preparations for a likely boss fight.
Art opens the next door to a much larger octagonal room, some 60 feet wide, with panels already in position. There are several more than before, with the image of the ultraloth we saw on floor 26. We enter. The spinning begins, and his voice speaks to us in Common. "You shouldn't have come here, I know who you are now." Digs bluffs anyway, gets a dirty 20, and they start arguing form numbers. "You understand that because you are not yugoloths, you are not defended by the inhibitions of the Tower of Incarnate Pain." Digs:"NEITHER ARE YOU!" We will roll initiative after...
DINNER!
Digs blasts the boomstick, harming Melek. :\
Lair actions attempt to send us into the wall with centripetal force, contested by Strength saves.
Functionally, we are battling several mirror images of the one Ultraloth. We systematically kill off the fakes, which occasionally trade places between rounds, until just the real one remains. He then takes to the air and ultimately melds into the wall.
Geoff appears on a large, monstrous version of Wabbit. The duo have our target pinned. He tells us one of us has to deliver the killing blow, because he cannot. We comply aggressively.
Duraz asks if he's the Mr. Book we're supposed to be helping. "We don't do 'helping' in Gehenna."
Digs looks at this monstrous form of Wabbit. "I don't want to eat it any more."
As we begin to heal the wounded, Mrs. Locke appears. "You are the incumbent Mr. Book, I take it?" "Yes." To us, "I will transport you all to your home plane if you kill him."
=== Book 22: How Deep the Father's Love 5/1/22 (Lune 41st 3124 - Lune 43rd 3124) ===
They filled their end of the deal with Ms. Locke, but she's got an even sweeter addition: kill her father and she'll return the party back to the mortal world.
Session notes:
We begin our session by calling who's making dinner each time for the rest of the campaign.
Weakened from our battle (with Lady Zo still making death saves), we are reluctant to take up Mrs. Locke on her offer. "Now is not a good time to debate the moral ramifications of killing another yugoloth." We hear the familiar mechanical clicking from the next room, and Mrs. Locke departs.
Melek: "Why does your daughter want you dead?" Geoff: "She's my DAUGHTER?"
Another ultraloth enters the room wanting to know what happened to Mr. Book. People point at Geoff. "What happened to the OTHER Mr. Book?" Digs suggests that the deceased was responsible for what happened since he tried to violate the conventions against yugoloths harming one another here, Deception(24), but this is no good since they are PHYSICALLY incapable of taking action against one another. We make wisdom saves, and all but Duraz fail despite high rolls all around. We are prevented from harming him directly. We roll initiative.
Melek rolls a Nat1 MAYORED to a Nat20 to intimidate him, suggesting that we will overwhelm him with our greater numbers. He stands down and offers us an agreement. In brief, we can escape penalty for our actions if we sign a series of documents and spend the equivalent to a night in the Tower of Incarnate Pain. This will legitimize us as yugoloths and guests of the Tower.
Investigation(25), Ash recognizes that the contract seems legit, though they are perturbed by the specifics only guaranteeing that we will not be harmed by "yugoloths" while we conduct our stay. But this seems like a pretty good deal, and we agree to sign.
He uses the various pocketwatches to manipulate the mechanisms beyond the door to show us to our room.
Not long after, a Kitsune girl in a kimono brings us food. Some eat it, some eat Goodberries or rations.
We get our Long Rest without incident. (We determine it's been 18 hours since we ate the magical feast.)
Geoff knocks on the door when the time is up, and we have several questions for the man. But he is reluctant to answer and asks "...where can I send ya?"
Persuasion(18) to convince Mr. Book to try and reconcile with his daughter before she sends other patsies to kill him. He agrees that it's worth a try. We summon her and finally learn that her hope was that we would release them both from their bonds, as an invading force killing him has him dying in the line of duty. It's too late now, though. We're no longer an invading force, and we're bound by the rules of the Tower. Lady Zo demonstrates this by failing to throw a dagger at Mr. Book.
Duraz gives a deep and heartfelt apology, in that we thought we were doing the right thing by not killing him then, but it was his goof. We will fix this! She's not doing any more business with us until we do. Melek gives a we're not so different you and I appeal.
In choosing where to return to the material plane, we opt for a familiar place without any others around. We're granted a door to the river where we met the mecha guy, and there, we immediately call upon Mephistopheles.
He has made progress seeking additional aid. We will make for Elysium in the morning. This gives us some down time first.
Ash tries to assist Mephistopheles, who starts tearing pages from the book and pinning them to the wall.
Melek chats up Glasia. Terribly. Glasia says Melek should shower, she reeks of dreams. Melek recalls some of her weird dreams. Fraz Orbluz, one of the older demon princes, weaponizes dreams. There was a mortal who once imprisoned him.
Lady Zo looks for info on finding a particular magic item, but Investigation(9) gets her nothing better than the Locate Object spell. She recasts Mind Blank right before bed.
Long Rest. Melek enters an extended dream sequence. Red crystal, looks like it's missing something. When she goes to inspect it, it begins to shatter. Except it isn't the crystal, but reality itself shattering. Now she is in a stone room, seven doors, weird obelisk in the center with a gargoyle that looks at her. Melek tries one of the doors and finds Ash, strung up on a stretching machine and in terrible pain, chain manacles. Two switches, writing above each of them. She asks Ash, who tells her right says tighten, left says loosen. She pulls the left one, releasing Ash. Melek tries to get Ash to follow to help anyone else they encounter, but Ash seemingly resists before going along with her as requested.
Next room, fuzz and felt all over the floor. Chained to the wall is a human hand. Melek screams and slams the door.
Next door, a room with a huge iron chamber in the center, glowing white-hot. The size of a person. Melek approaches, and it pops open. Inside is a lemure (flesh blob creature). Melek goes AH! Art responds, "We're almost there, ALMOST THERE!" But Melek shuts it and leaves the room.
Next room, a turtle person on the wall, but turned backwards in various places, particularly the head that is turned backward while the shell is forward. "Ridley, are you ok?" He's responding in brief utterances that may be backward speech. Ash tries to convince Melek he's fine. "I'm strong enough to do this," says Ash, failing to pull out the pins on the chains. "He's saying everything is fine." Ash continues saying the opposite of what is true.
Melek is determined to find Duraz. Next room, four rifles on tripod mounts. As soon as she enters, they fire at someone with a metal armor suit and a cowboy hat. The bullets are deflected. Melek carefully steps around the room. "Kirin?" "Meow." Melek knocks over a gun, then steps forward and tries to pull off the helmet. There's a lever, she pulls, now he can move. Melek tells him to go find and help Ridley, perhaps he's drunk too much?
Next room, Duraz, pinned to the ground by a cow. (But he doesn't feel the weight) "I think I need help? It doesn't feel like I do, but I need help." Melek tips it off of him, but now Duraz DOES feel the weight of the cow on him. He slowly stands, but the higher he stands, the heavier he feels. He speaks laboriously, takes three levels of exhaustion. "Heal Ridley, I think he's hurt!" "I don't think I can fix that with a Cure Wounds." Melek lifts him with ease and carries him to Ridley's room. Once he's plopped down on the floor, his exhaustion goes away. "Ih Zarud."
Duraz starts reasoning how the things Melek reports seeing are opposites of how they are usually. Melek opts tobring him along to each of the remaining rooms.
Next room, Jables. Completely naked, equipment all in a bag on his lap. "Jables, we don't have time for this, come on." Jables can't move. "I might need a little help." Melek sets down Duraz again and goes to lift Jables, who can't grab his things. Melek shoves his shirt on over him, which doesn't cover his bits at all. Melek labors to put on his pants. Carries him and his stuff to the room where the others are assembled.
Digs, sitting casually on a nice chair, unbound, but he cannot move. Melek again deposits Duraz and carries Digs like a puppy.
But where are the others? Ash says Art WASN'T the flesh blob. "Ah!" she goes back for him. Lady Zo... maybe she's in the pile of fluff in there? Art slithers over. Melek gathers the bits of Zo, sunglasses and all. The hand is flapping like a mouth moving but cannot speak. She cautiously unpins it and bags the hand without touching it. The ZoBag starts occasionally using Minor Illusion to speak brief snippets.
Melek topples the gargoyle statue. It shatters, its head rolling toward her feet. Glasia's voice, "You reek of dreams!" Melek smashes it.
Back to the first room where the red crystal had been, and now there are nine doors, each with a picture depicting our yugoloth names.
Glaive, Melek's nightmare, a library that taunts her and her inability to learn.
Punch, Ridley's, the party has turned their back to him and walked away, abandoning him.
Fist, Duraz, the day his father died. Melek tries to comfort the young dwarf. She then tries to heal the father, who proceeds to explode. Child Duraz sobs uncontrollably.
Shades, Zo, a mob of Muppetborn of various sizes, colors, shapes. Turn to her and tell her she'll never amount to anything, she's failed, everything she's touched has turned to ruin, just LEAVE.
Key, Art, Pitch black, Art but with angel wings talking someone through a plan, black again, Art has a lance through him, we've failed, get out.
Bell, Jables, a broken lute on a bare stage with zero audience and a single spotlight. Melek tries to pick up the lute, but one of the strings lashes at her. Jables is in the wings, refusing to go out. She tries to take the lute again, fails, and is slashed. Grabs it on the third try, tries to take it to Jables. It keeps slashing, and Melek smashes it. RealJables sobs inconsolably.
Bark, Ash, a forest grove. Ash is there, her father appears, a dude who looks similar to Mephistopheles. "You made your mother leave, you killed me, and you ruined everything." Admaris also appears to taunt Ash, turns into a Balor. Melek can't lift DreamAsh.
Kirin, loud explosion, only hear high pitched whine. All the party members, cat people, people from the Mines, all face-down with a hole in the back of their heads. The sound gets louder. Melek slams the door.
File, Digs, large cavern, devoid of treasure, graves everywhere, poorly constructed, tiny, twenty kobold corpses nearby, three living ones remain. One has a knife to the throat of a kneeling one. Melek understands now, makes no attempt to stop them. The one slices the other's throat. The one with the knife was not Digs. Melek doesn't notice that they are soaked in blood. She slowly exists and closes the door.
DINNER! (Matt and Casey, who were playing remotely, depart.)
Melek returns to Ridley's room where the rest are still gathered. The floor shakes and begins sloping down into a stone slide that carries us for three, four minutes, accelerating. We eventually spill out into Melek's nightmare library.
A check reveals that this all probably has something to do with the shard of pure evil at the heart of the Abyss.
A book pops out to again taunt Melek, she is NOT smart enough. "But my friends are!" "Your friends who make fun of you and call you stupid when you're not around?" No, we believe in you, Melek!
Giant books, probably FOR giants, fall off the highest shelves. Dex save against bludgeoning damage. We roll initiative to fight the books, and Dan tells us how our current forms affect our available actions and stats.
Zo: she is now a human hand. Can't talk, but can use nonverbal abilities and act as Bigby's fist.
Art: is statistically the same as a lemure, except his attack bonus is +9 and deals 20d6 damage
Ash: can speak only lies. (Oh, the room on a stretching machine? The switches on the wall said in abyssal "excruciate" on the left and "release" on the right.)
Digs: is only allowed to do something if someone else gives him permission (uses their reaction).
Duraz: Pinned under a giant cow, but feels no pain being there on the ground. Once he stands up, he feels the weight of a cow on his shoulders. Can only attack while prone. Suffers no disadvantage
Jables: can't cast spells unless he's completely naked. No items.
Kirin is locked in a suit of armor. He's being shot repeatedly by rifle tripods. AC is 30, can't use feline agility, and all damage he deals is inflicted back on him. 
Ridley: his shell is on backwards and his limbs are all facing the wrong way. Can only speak backwards. All advantages grant disadvantage and the reverse.
We fell the books, and then an impossibly enormous book that would cover the entire room falls upon us, waking us from the long rest.
We're not sure where we are. Wait... this seems like the barracks in the Crighton Mines. We're ordered by Ermy to gather our stuff, the demon apocalypse is over and we're returning to Arroyo. What.
=== Book 23: I Wanna Be Ready 5/8/22 (Lune 43rd - Lune 44th 3124) ===
The party had a weird dream. Maybe it was all a dream...
Session notes:
We quickly assess that Ty is not among us. Melek asks Ermy where Ty is. "Ty is out saving our lives! He's the reason we can leave the mines." Aren't you dead? "No!"
Our gear is what we had before we left the mines. We adjust our character sheets accordingly, or at least as best as we can recall.
The mayor's throwing a celebration, let's go! The brothers Cully and Spencer are playing together in the grass. Hiii! Their dad is also alive and runs over to them.
We discuss how obviously still a dream this all is.
Melek tries to recall the name Glasia dropped. Art is better able to recall Fraz Orbluz, who was a particularly powerful demon prince, all about fucking with people's dreams. Mortal wizards had managed to capture him for generations. Once he was released, he found his domains were taken over, and now he just fucks with mortals out of spite.
The Reverend Zeta chats with us. As a result of long, intense prayer, Ty was blessed yesterday with Pelor's power. He then singlehandedly took back Arroyo from the demons.
We sit together at one of the tables. Susan joins us and sits by Melek. Converses.
Ty appears, looking awesomely divine. The mayor gives a speech. This city is built on all of our dreams. As long as we live, Arroyo will persist. He looks directly at Melek while saying this.
Ty sits with us. We ask him a few questions and determine that he has never met Morrigan. We conclude that he is not in the position we are but a manifestation of our shared dream.
We discuss among ourselves how to escape this, but our plans are interrupted by the Reverend Zeta pointing out that it's getting late in the day, which would be odd if we didn't already have a grasp on things. He shows us to our new barracks. We go along with this for now.
The barracks features a room for each of us, signaled by the images that were on our nightmare rooms from the previous session. But rather than leading to nightmares, each of our doors leads to an absolutely ideal room, the stuff of fantasy.
Duraz's dream room. The Terrasque poster, workout weights, prayer area with more weights. Kord is there, looking at Duraz very threateningly and seductively. "Hey, brother, why don't you close the door?" Kiel clarifies that Duraz doesn't want to sleep with Kord, but they absolutely do reps together.
Art opens his door. Frigid cold, people who look exactly like Art with different face tattoos. "It took you long enough, you are the worst little sibling ever!" Big hug family, door closes behind them.
Melek's door. Inside, temperate Gaul weather, scent of frankincense. Warm, golden light through trellised windows, low seat cushions, old man and kids, look up "Oh you're back, thank goodness!" Melek bursts into tears and walks toward them. Her door closes.
Ash opens their door, the "room" is obviously a forest floor, big net above and a fawn looking toward them. "Oh, so you did follow me! Want to come back to bed?" Goes up to cuddle, door closes.
Lady Zo's room, greeted by her butler, Chadwick Entertainment Queso. He tells her all of the day's reports are completed and the kingdom is prospering under her rule. She is then shown to her bed, an ornate four-poster flanked by enormous paintings of her, where Gritty is waiting with his large, googly eyes. Her door closes.
Meanwhile with Melek's family, Mom comes up with a book. "Do you remember this book? It was your favorite." I remember you read it to me. "No, you read it to me!" Melek opens the book and finds that she can, indeed, read all of the text in front of her. She reads it (Nat explains how the three princes go off in different directions to find things to woo a princess.) But part of the story is different from how she recalls it. "We need to stay here, in our home, with all the people in our home, because the people in our home is what our dreams are made of." But the rest of the story remains the same.
"Mom, do you remember when I had to go?" Melek's mom insists she never left, that's why she's here right now. Melek dismisses this and goes off to her bed.
We all exit our rooms in the morning at the same time.
We talk at breakfast. The Reverend Zeta is REALLY pouring it on thick that this town will persist as long as the people here draw breath, HINT-HINT. Do we attack the townsfolk? Do we just attempt to leave? Should we head separate directions? Lady Zo casts Telepathic Bond as a ritual. And just as we're getting ready to leave... ten winged creatures descend! Ty will fight them! Zeta will lead the people to safety. We roll initiative... and start heading in different directions. Ash goes north. Duraz south. Zo west. This leaves Melek and Art's echo. Nat rolls wisdom to see if Melek would make the correct choice, rolls a 3 and a 1. Ash speaks in her head to urge Melek to stick to the plan. Battlecry, then runs southwest. (Digs and Jables arrive) Ty: "You're all ABANDONING me!!" And he flies directly at Art and attacks with his greatsword. Twice. "That is the end of Pelor's turn." The demons go next, most attacking townsfolk but three going after us. Digs, having seen Ty attack Art, KNOWS this is not Ty and is furious, Boomstick Time.
Lady Zo makes an attempt to identify just what "Ty" really is as we convene and counterattack him. Extraplanar mental infestation, not many vulnerabilities. Most conditional effects aren't likely to work.
On the demons' next turn, one carries off and pins Spencer. This prompts Ash to Guiding Bolt it to try and pull it away from the (dream representation of a) boy. Duraz strikes down Ty. "You leeeft meeeeeee!"
We escape the dream.
Glasia had been trying to wake Melek, telling her what we needed to do. But the dream was contorting what she was hearing into appeals to STAY. But we understood well enough in the end.
Mephistopheles is passed out on his chair. In a cage is a gargoyle, looking like the statue in Melek's dream sequence. Glasia indicates, "Looks like someone came back from Gehenna with you." We can't just kill him while he has Mephistopheles under his influence. Glasia will handle this development while we go to the Upper Planes in his stead.
The Libris and all his notes are all on the table. Ash: "Mind if I borrow this?" Glasia: "If you think you're going to need it, he's not using it right now." And if he WASN'T using it, maybe he wouldn't be IN this situation.
Ash and Lady Zo try and decipher the one note (Vix and Chris collab):
Only be an archdevil of the highest station
it can only be given and
that it cannot be taken from its home
enchantment
it will be secured with a most powerful
a place no mortal may ever find it
it will be hidden in
true names is a most curious kind of libris
the book of
(Now it's just a matter of the order being jumbled, but we have the gist of it.)
DINNER!!
Ready to depart, Glasia has us enter a darkness under her wing. We come out upon a cloud that lifts us up to the sunlight. Gates of white gold. There is someone there of indiscriminate gender, white robes that blend perfectly with the surroundings. "Greetings. Welcome, visitors, to the Upper Planes. I am Biel. Do you have an appointment?" Duraz answers that we are here on business from Mephistopheles. "May I see your mark of station?" He shows his holy symbol. Persuasion18. "While followers of the good aligned deities are most welcome in their hearts, they are not welcome in their sanctums. How did you even get here?" Melek answers in Celestial, Intimidation24. Biel is stunned. "Ah, you speak the tongue of the ancients. Perhaps... you are the emissaries of Mephistopheles. The council will see you now."
Opens onto another cloud. Seven lights in a semicircle in the sky. "You stand before the Council of the Gods of Good." Duraz states the intention to rekindle the Blood War to rescue the mortal planes. "You know, I think he's onto something." "What would Mephistopheles have us do?" To be able to mount an offensive allowing us to slip in after the Heart of the Abyss. Duraz lays out the plan. "How are you so confident you will survive The Abyss?" "I don't know if I trust this." <- dwarf voice. Duraz Persuasion22. "You know, I think it's about time we take these demons on, HEAD ON. If you survive, we'll see if you can go ten rounds with The Champ.
The last one to speak, "You there, the little girl from Andalus. Where did you learn our tongue?" "I've always known it. I never knew why, but now I do, because I was meant to be here. Ereshkigal wanted me to do this." "I never wanted this. I don't know who sent you, but it wasn't me." Melek prostrates herself. "From my followers, all I want is for them to live good lives. Whatever force is pushing you to do this is of a different Celestial." "You are a noble soul, but you do not belong to me." To whom, then? "My followers belong to themselves. You don't belong to me, that's for sure."
"Tell Lord Mephistopheles that we have an accord." We thank the Council.
We return through the gate to Biel. "Ah, was your meeting fortuitous?"
How do we get home? Biel will send a cloud for us. We get on and start cruising through the Upper Planes. A single, dark cloud appears and is heading directly for us. Our cloud seems startled by it, if that's possible. It blocks our path. If ours is about the size of a city bus, the one in front of us is easily the size of the United Center. Arcana26, this appears to be some level of extraplanar travel often used by Abyssal denizens. A giant mouth, fanged with asymmetrical teeth, appears on it. Abyssal:"What business do you have in the Upper Planes?" What about YOU? "We are legion, and we are here to DESTROY." Mouth opens wide, and we hear the sound of bees. Initiative.
With our cloud halted fifty feet away from the enemy, our melee combatants with the means of getting themselves there go within its mouth to fight, while the rest stay where we were and dodge lightning while attacking from range. We do manage to overwhelm it, but this immediately presents a new problem.
Three are in its mouth, stunned, when it slams shut in its death throes. Lady Zo casts Feather Fall as it begins to plummet, slowing it to 60fps. She then casts Fly on herself and Jables and gives chase. Digs flies down and casts a wind spell to try and dissipate the cloud portion around the teeth, giving us something to strike. Art comes out of stun and hacks at the teeth from within, creating an opening. Duraz wakes and flies Melek out. Jables flies down to grab Art, and then the corpse falls away from us as we return to the cloud.
We heal one another, and our cloud carries on.
We now see a great, vast horizon of elemental chaos. Arcana30, the elemental chaos is what separates the Upper Planes from the Material Plane. The harp music gives way to numetal. We hear Glasia's voice in our heads. "I trust your visit went well?" Glasia calls us back, the cloud enveloping us.
She has sweat on her brow. She can't torture Fraz Orbluz enough to get him to release Mephistopheles. In fact, he seems to ENJOY everything she's dishing out, and she's clearly frustrated. We offer to try things OUR way and have a go at torturing the gargoyle.
"Ah, hello. Have you come to provide me more creature comforts?"
We pamper him. We talk up how we're going to give him the full spa treatment, fluff his pillows, cucumber mask, full mani-pedi. Duraz goes in for the hug. Intimidation Nat20. "I'll release him now!!"
Mephistopheles awakens, and the gargoyle begs for mercy. "Mephistopheles, you should kill me now." "Oh no, Fraz. You're my GUEST now."
We bring him up to speed with our progress. Ash also asks him about what he's been up to and what we gleamed from his note.
"That note is a confirmation of a suspicion that I had when I first began plans to kill Asmodeus." "Asmodeus fell when a legion of Balors, led by Admaris, was able to control those Balors with the Book of True Names, given to him by me."
=== Book 24: I Never Knew 5/15/22 (Lune 44th -45th 3124 ) ===
While our party may have saved themselves and their archfiend partner from the demon of dreams, they are now waking up to a more brutal realization than they imagined!
Session notes:
We discuss why you should never let Vix grab your knob.
"I'm sory, you what?" Mephistopheles explains, "I grew weary of Asmodeus' efforts to keep the Blood War feuding. He never wanted to win it."
We discuss the plan at this point. A shard of the Gem of True Evil was taken long ago and powers the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus. We need that if we're going to complete the gem and contain the effect. We may need to go to the Serpent's Coil at the bottom of the Nine Hells to look for it. It is a place that Mephistopheles cannot enter, but he can get us there.
Before we take a long rest, Ash attempts to scry on Admaris, just in an attempt to see if he had taken the staff for himself. Ash sees nothing, and then we remember that it doesn't work across planes. Oops. Next, Ash tries the Libris Oblivicon to try and help Lady Zo with her efforts to find a way home. Fails twice, consumes Snacks of Scoobis to recover from exhaustion. Lady Zo thanks Ash for her efforts, but insists she stops putting herself at risk for it.
Long Rest, and another Snack for Ash (5 remain for today) to negate the exhausting effect of being attuned to the book.
We head to the bar where Glasia is making tea. She looks waaay seductive. "Thirsty?" She Mage Hands us all some tea. Spices Ridley's for him, per his request. He knocks it back, impressing her. (Immunity to poison.)
"Nessus is a troubling place. Mephistopheles has never been. I am one of the few people who have ever been, actually," (him being her father and all), "but I too am no longer welcome. I was born in Nessus. I was betrothed at birth, to your old boss," (she says to Art). "I'm fine with things they are, personally, but Mephistopheles wants to go back to the way things were, for whatever reason. When you're owned from the moment you're born, you don't care much for who's in charge."
What can she tell us to best prepare for this endeavor? "My father is not like the other archfiends. He did not want an opulent palace or flashy servants. He was a beast, in the most unrefined form. When he fell, still in his serpent form, he made an impact that went several hundred miles deep, the Serpent's Coil, boring ridges that stretch down for an eternity."
Any demon that touches the staff would be destroyed, so it's unlikely any demons would have taken off with it. We're told that the staff is a creature with sentience, emotions, and judgment. If it judges you worthy to wield it, then you will survive. Now that we know it's a creature, Ash tries scrying on it. Except, no, we think to ask and confirm that we are in a pocket dimension right now. So we'll go there first.
Melek rolls Insight on Glasia's and Mephistopheles' relationship. 18. We don't ever see much interaction between them. Mad simp vibes on his part. But she saved him and us from Fraz Orbluz, for what it's worth.
Mephistopheles sends us to the edge. (Of gloorryy...)
We emerge in a great chasm. Walls out at the horizons that go up at least 5 miles.
We start walking. During the first ten minutes, Ash casts Scrying and Zo Detect Magic. The rod fails its save. Ash sees the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus, and his body half sunk into frozen water, holding the rod in his fist halfway within the ice. The area is dark. A vast expanse of frozen lake, farther than the scrying orb can see. The staff itself has markings on it (Celestial, names of good gods printed in reverse, but Ash can't read that.) Ash dismisses the spell and writes what they can remember.
We come to a cavern. Dark, and growing very hot. Some take off their armor to better resist the heat. We roll Con saves every hour. Once. Twice. The cavern is growing more narrow, spiraling. Eventually, the cavern ends at a hole going down. Melek puts Light on a metal cup and it falls until it cannot be seen. Art puts the echo 1000 feet down, and the bottom still cannot be seen. We make preparations (Level 6 Fly to get 4 people), Duraz is prepping to grant self a fly speed, echo readied, Special Brew to gain bludgeoning resistance, Starry Form: State of the Dragon, jetpack.
Ridley just jumps for it, prompting the rest of us to do the same after him.
We fall a LONG time. As we go, we start noticing spots of red light, like fire. But they're actually eyes, and whatever they belong to begin detaching from the walls and dropping along with us. Initiative.
They look humanoid. 15 little ones, 2 big ones. The free-fall battle involves a lot of careful positioning and attempts to knock our adversaries into the walls. Lady Zo does her best to maintain concentration on Fly so we don't have several people splatting at the end.
We come down onto an ice sheet, sloping a while before leveling as we skid across. We make Acrobatic rolls to avoid hitting stuff, but Lady Zo is knocked out, finally losing concentration. Ash brings her back up.
We come to a halt and take a few minutes to re-don armor and heal one another. Once prepared and recovered, we start heading toward a red light in the distance. (Con save after an hour against the bitter cold. Ash takes a level of exhaustion, eats another Snack of Scoobis.)
As we continue, the ice grows thin. Checks are made to avoid falling through.
Another cold Con save. Melek and Duraz both eat another Snack (two remain).
We approach a huge, humanoid figure, half frozen in the ice, holding the staff. We go nearer, and we all must make a Wis save against a Charm effect. The four who fail don't want to get any closer to it than ten feet, and they desperately don't want the rest of us to go nearer either. (Melek, Kirin, Jables, and Digs) Art checks Arcana and is aware there is an effect at play. Duraz tries for the staff anyway, and we roll Initiative.
Duraz grabs the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus and feels infernal energy flow into him. He tries to pull it away, but Asmodeus' eyes glow red. The ice around him cracks as he turns his head toward Duraz. "You should not have come." "You should have stayed dead." Asmodeus is added to the Initiative tree, and we continue.
Lady Zo casts Maze on Asmodeus, sending him and the staff temporarily into a pocket dimension. Ash dispels magic on the Charm. We ready actions for a round and our adversary returns.
Digs makes a Hail Mary to Sleight of Hand(31) and swap the rod with one of Melek's javelins, which requires a Strength(NAT20!) check and a Charisma(19) save once he takes it into his possession. The corpse of Asmodeus turns into slush. Ash Nature(23) and yeah, it's ice. They're also aware of spells that create simulacra from ice.
We say Mephistopheles' name three times and are ready to jet.
=== Book 25: I Saw the Light 5/22/22 (Lune 45th 3124 ) ===
(Featuring Matt as DM)
With their descent into Nessus, they've hit the bottom of the Nine Hells and discovered the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus. After dispatching its protector, this artifact of impossible power has found its way into the hands of the party's kobold friend. They're still friends, right?
Session notes:
(No Dan today, Matt(Digs) is our guest DM while the kobold holds UNLIMITED POWER!)
While Ash questions whether it is a good idea to deliver the staff to Mephistopheles, and others figure we haven't any better idea, the portal to Mephistopheles' pocket dimension quietly fizzles shut.
Digs is holding this staff, which is approximately three times his height, seemingly effortlessly. Also, he has black, emotionless eyes, and is staring into the distance. Perception concludes that there is nothing out there in that direction. Digs, are you OK?
Melek tries to grab the staff, and failing her Dex save, is blasted back ten feet by the staff. Digs looks directly at her. He speaks one word in Abyssal, which Digs is known not to speak, and in a voice we don't think a kobold can create: "Pain." He and the staff melt into the frozen lake. The entire cavern starts melting. Everything starts going black, darkvision be damned, like reality is passing out. We still feel we are standing on something firm, and we can see one another, but nothing else. Ash feels the ground, Perception27, whatever it is is warm to the touch, like body heat, but very hard. Ash taps on it with an uncovered hand. A dull, amber glow starts to emanate behind all of us. We look, and a large pair of reptilian eyes are looking at us, each the size of the Goodyear blimp. We're on a reptilian snout, with black scales.
Ash, in Draconic, "Digs, is this you?" "He was. He is mine." We all must attempt Dex saves to avoid being tilted off. Those who fall are now on a surface that feels like obsidian. Dragon claws take Kirin by the scruff.
We behold the head of a massive shadow dragon, bigger than any we've ever seen, about 20 city blocks.
Kirin reasons with the dragon, offering that we're friends with Digs, and we're not here to fight you. "Then you will not fight me." Deposits Kirin on the ground. We see a portal or a void opening between its eyes. We attempt a Strength save, resulting in fails all around the table, and we're all pulled into the opening.
We awaken in a large, granite and basalt canyon. The sky is very cloudy with a dull, red glow to it. Some recognize the southern tip of the Dragonspine Mountains. We try to collect ourselves. Is this another shared dream? No, this seems different somehow. Walls are very sheer, and very high, and the walls are 20 feet apart. There's a lavafall over in one direction, and the path slopes slightly downward in the opposite direction. Were we dropped here for a reason? "DIGS?" No answer. Some notice a skeleton fifteen feet from one of the lava divert tunnels, humanoid. Medicine21, this individual died from multiple injuries, so many that it is hard to tell which one did it. 7.5 feet tall, reptilian. Dragonborn. And the skeleton has been here a LONG time.
Lady Zo asks Art to use their echo to check if there's a cavern behind the lavafall. There does appear to be one. Art then solidifies a center section to create a passage. Lady Zo uses Passwall so we can safely walk through before it returns to liquid.
Perception all around. We see two possible passages. This was once a massive temple that has been reclaimed by nature, specifically the lava. Artwork adorns the ceiling, a large rotunda depicting a pantheon of gods. Religion21, none we recognize, and they seem somewhat inhuman, sporting extra mouths/limbs and the like. We survey and opt to go left.
Ridley smells sulfur (Nat20 Nature), but there's something else being masked by it. Like burnt hair and melting plastic. We opt to backtrack.
There is a faint, orange glow in this direction. We soon come to a plateau atop a cliff face over a pool of lava. A caldera. Our being inside a volcano is confirmed. To the left, a 60 foot drop leads to another stone platform. Ridley prepares to jump for it, deftly avoiding the sudden volley of crossbow fire from below. Initiative.
Four red kobolds, larger than usual, are scaling the wall with metallic claws. On their backs are four smaller kobolds with snapping turtle shell shields. 
Ash tries reasoning with them in Draconic, but they make their intent to kill us very clear.
Ridley blasts one with a disarming shot to get him to lose his grip on the wall. Melek leaps onto one, glaive first, and kills it where it grips. Ridley leaps down as well and (Nat20) grapples one before pummeling it.
After a pair make it to the top with us, Ash kills the beefier one and shoves the smaller one over the edge. It lands with the sound of glass shattering, followed by an explosion that consumes it. Are they carrying incendiary potions?
As Art's echo kills a shield kobold, we hear the same crunching sound. The surrounding creatures halfway up the wall all have to roll against the blast. This sets off a chain reaction as the next shield kobold ALSO dies in the conflagration. Kirin then fires at the final one's shield, killing the kobold and dropping the vials to the bottom where they shatter out of range to damage any of us. He finishes off the last one, ending combat. Kirin and Ash both grab some of the climbing claws.
We all get safely to the bottom and carry on to the north, not going near the caldera. 
We come to a cavern where several bodies and skeletons are piled up. Cauterized wounds? Arcana17, some of these have limbs severed by magical means. Investigation28, these bodies still have their mundane gear, rusted and heated beyond use. BUT, there's something hard but not metallic, five of them, sticking out from under one of the bodies. Ash picks up one. Red, glossy. A scale? Yes, five red dragon scales, all of which Ash takes.
Backtrack and take another path. Melek is nearly blasted by a jet of steam from the ground, and some of us Perceive that there are several, similar cracks in the ground. We traverse carefully and avoid damage.
We come to a room that stinks like rotting flesh. There are piles of dismembered corpses, limbs, body parts everywhere. All fresher than that previous room. Duraz and Melek approach them for last rites. A voice! "You've come to view our majesty?" Broken Common mixed with Draconic. Out from behind the piles, four creatures step out. Patchwork people with draconic parts sewn to themselves, haphazardly but functionally. Duraz agrees that they are majestic-looking dragons. Do we want to see their greatest creation? Yessss...? What emerges appears to be... mostly a green dragon, but with oily hair, and oozing in several places and stitched together terribly. "We have always been! We were created by Tiamat herself!" Ash asks for help finding our kobold friend, but they seem offended we want the friendship of a kobold rather than theirs. Duraz takes his draconic form to show that he is one of them, and they want to take it further and help him become MORE! One approaches him with a scalpel, but the wings fade at the end of Duraz's turn. He persuades them into believing that he is the path to draconic perfection. He then tries bluffing to them that they can achieve the same by climbing a mountain, screaming, and leaping into the air. Mayor power turns a 1 into a Nat20. The four excitedly run off to do as they were told. But as they exit the room, one of them hit by a jet of steam, dropping his draconic arm from his torso. He declares himself to be unworthy and leaps into the lava as penance. The other three take the arm and carry on away.
This leaves the big one. Its glassy, infected eyes are not focused on Duraz, but on Ash. It seems excited and approaches the tiefling. Melek approaches and tries to pat it, requiring a Con14 save. 12 poison damage. Melek then tries to put it out of its misery. Initiative.
Anyone who goes near the creature must make Con saves against the smell. It retaliates against Melek, barfing and clawing and knocking her prone with its tail. Ash tries and successfully regains its attention. Lady Zo Holds Monster, and Ridley slashes its tail off with his claws. But then a clothes iron emerges from the surgery tools and cauterizes the tail stump, prompting more Con saves against the new smell. (We later learn that its fascination with Ash is due to the dragon scales being carried.)
We manage to kill it, and Lady Zo wonders what else is in this surgery bag? It snaps shut as she approaches. Mage Hand can't open it. Hey, Melek? She can't open it, either, finding it to be too slimy. Prestidigitation it clean! Melek tries again. Ridley tries. It tears open... and we find that the sack WAS slightly alive, made of living flesh. Mage Hand grasps something inside, but can't pull it out. Lady Zo then reaches into it herself. Metal, and engraved. She pulls out a very large, ornate, naval blunderbuss, and hands it to Kirin as our resident marksman. There is Draconic writing on it, which Ash reads. Ornate, embossed, gold runes: "In service to Verenth the Indomitable: Digs the Kobold" And it's loaded with a single shot. This is clearly The Doomstick.
We continue. More steam vents, but these ones are on the walls. Melek shimmies carefully to avoid them, but nothing happens and she looks ridiculous.
Chris says something that makes everyone groan, so a steam vent hits Lady Zo. It knocks off her sunglasses, revealing the eyes the Muppetborn has had for weeks now. This is apparently VERY unsettling. Another steam vent conveniently blasts the sunglasses back onto her face.
We find a treasure hoard. Melek reaches for some and burns her hand.
(DINNER!)
Let it be known, Matt and Nat are to compete with their asses during the next lingerie party.
The gold and treasure have spilled out of the walls the way lava might flow. As we continue, more columns and remnants of the temple are intact and apparent. And it is getting hotter. We investigate for things of interest like gems or holy symbols. Duraz manages to cool some gold and finds a symbol to Kord. Rather, the ritual Finger Cymbals of Kord that sound like a prize fight bell, one hour to attune. Ash finds a badly damaged helmet of maybe Pelor? Gives it to Melek.
Carrying on, it's growing ever hotter. Con saves. We're nearing another orange glow. What remains of the floor is ornate tile, a mosaic mural. Duraz recognizes the depicted foot soldiers are of every race of Avalon, all wearing similar armor under the same banner. But we cannot see what they are charging for. There's a peninsula with a pile of gold, much of it melted together. And sitting atop it, a massive, ancient, red dragon. He addresses us in Common: "Ah, so you have finally made it to my lair." We're looking for our friend. "Oh, you must mean this chap!" Digs is manacled 80 feet above, chains hanging from the ceiling. Digs seems to believe that he shouldn't want to leave, speaking somewhat hypnotically. Art asks the dragon's name, and yes, it's Verenth the Indominable. But where is the staff? Verenth is picking his teeth with the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus.
We fail to negotiate, so we roll Initiative.
Attacking the dragon also deals damage to Digs, it turns out. Art tries and fails to snatch the rod.
Melek makes an appeal to Digs to remember that he has found a greater purpose. For a brief instant, the Helmet of maybe Pelor glows, and Digs stops looking like he's venerating Verenth, instead looking at Melek fearfully. Melek then deals Radiant damage to Verenth that heals Digs.
Duraz flies up to Digs, assures him, and Shatters the rock the chains are secured into. Three are released, two remain. Duraz then falls right onto Verenth. Others try appealing to Digs. Lady Zo casts Earthbind on Digs to lower him safely should he be fully released. Art makes another attempt to grab the rod and fails. Verenth tries to remove Duraz from his back. "You're quite the slippery one, aren't you?" "I do wear quite a bit of sacramental oils." Ash tries reasoning with Digs that he is better than to have a master, we all think so, and Ty thinks so, too. But Digs says Ty is just a shadow of the power of his master. Melek tries again, invoking the name of Pelor, and the helmet fully repairs itself. Digs again shudders, says "Break it!" and goes back into his trance. Religion24, the symbols on the helmet shine powerful beams of holy light where Melek looks, illuminating a thin, gossamer thread linking Digs to Verenth. She lobs two javelins at the thread. The second hits but does not sever it, though it does make Verenth stagger. Most of us notice the thread now, and Kirin severs it fully. Digs screeches and falls unconscious while Verenth staggers again. Lady Zo severs the fourth chain, so Digs is now only held by his left arm.
"Oh dear! I'm afraid that you've all gone and made me TERRIBLY angry!" Fear wave. But we are not deterred. Art deals the final blow, sending Verenth rolling into the lava. Art tries again for the rod, and Duraz goes for it as well. Digs' last chain severs, and he starts slowly dropping due to Zo's spell effect. Ash flies to grab Digs before he can land in the lava and casts Cure Wounds on him. Melek goes for the rod and successfully retrieves it, and Duraz unfurls his wings to fly them back to solid ground. At that moment, Verenth stops sinking and his eyes open. He speaks with a different voice now, the one Digs used at the start of the session. "You will never be rid of him." Melek doesn't want to be rid of him. Ash reassures Digs, who finally awakens. Digs puts his hands out to reclaim the Doomstick (given) and the rod, but Melek refuses. Digs one-handed aims the Doomstick at Verenth, still looks at Melek directly. She then agrees to return the staff to the kobold. Digs uses the rod to smash the Doomstick's plaque, and he then fires the Doomstick at Verenth. The helmet disintegrates into light, and it too blasts Verenth. Digs kicks the plaque into the lava and taps the ground with the staff, and everything fades to white.
We are back at the frozen lake at the bottom of the Nine Hells. Digs unmelts, like playing the scene in reverse. He immediately drops the rod, "Get it away from me." Duraz grabs it before anyone else can.
(Everything we found and kept during the sequence has disappeared... EXCEPT the Cymbals.)
=== Book 26: Swing Low 5/29/22 (Lune 45th - Lune 46th 3124) ===
Having obtained the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus, the party could potentially send all the demons back to the abyss. Are they ready to team up with Mephistopheles and end the Scourge of Avalon?
Session notes:
Notes by guest chronicler Vix! (Chris is playing remotely today.)
The staff falls from the hands of our kobold ally and begins sinking into the ice. Melek wins the initiative roll in a chance to grab the rod, which she does, and she flies up into the air and goes Super Saiyan. Melek finds herself alone in darkness, holding the rod hearing a great voice surrounding her. “Who are you to come and claim such a powerful prize?” “I’m Melek Al Hashim and I am a warrior of Arescagal!” The rod mentions she is a warrior by choice and asks her if she knows who she is by birth. It is revealed she is chosen to hold the rod (implying through her birthright). When Melek questions whether or not the rod is going to control her how it did Digs it replies, “You can do whatever you want now," and Melek floats softly to the ground. Ash checks Melek who seems more than fine. Digs is still super checked out.
We question where to go next, and how to approach Mephistopheles. We determine that just going directly to the abyss would be a terrible idea as we could safely assume we would be corrupted and turned into fiends. We need to have our destination in mind and we don’t have enough of a map yet to proceed without guidance. Melek taps the rod on the ice and we instantly return to Mephistopheles’ library. Melek is amazingly polite while wielding the staff. Mephistopheles seems surprised and we ask him where we need to go into the abyss. “There is a problem with our efforts to go to the abyss and return the staff to where it needs to go. If you go, you will all be warped beyond your worst nightmares into creatures and kill each other.” “How long would we have?” Digs asks. “Depending on how close you get, a matter of seconds or days. Also certain demon princes can affect it. My sources indicate that Baphomet is there and making a plan. I can impart my infernal essence into you and this can give you the protection you need to survive the journey into the Heart of the Abyss. This may have some negative side effects. The catch is I have to die for you.” 
“Could the staff protect us?” “No, it's part of the Abyss.” “Is the aspect of us becoming more infernal happening right now?” “Yes but it’s a pernicious artifact. I already see it’s forming a bond with your friend here.” “Has it imparted anything on me?” Digs asks. “Nothing you didn’t let it. I can use the rod to separate my energy into 9 parts to empower you. When you arrive, you can put me back together and resurrect me to finish the task. If you separate from each other or fail to properly resurrect me, you are on our own.” Melek asks, “Would this plan to call the demons back destroy the Abyss entirely? Or would it bring it back to the old war?” Mephistopheles responds, “I am uncertain of the power. It is possible it could destroy itself. It could be the only power that can. I have worked under Asmodeus for eons. I learned that he wanted to keep the Abyss around because there was some benefit. We had numerous opportunities to stop it, but he chose not to. Art, did you not find yourself going into suicide missions into the Abyss?” Art also sees why Ash is questioning if this could make it worse. “If the crystal is whole again I can control it to unmake what has been done, though I will not have long,” Mephistopheles implies he may not survive that part of the process.
“If he was able to stop the demons, why wouldn’t he do it for good?” Mephistopheles says, “I believe in knowledge by any means necessary, he believed in power by any means necessary.” We tried to see if Orbluz was powerful enough to take Mephistopheles’ place in this plan, but apparently not (plus he’s tainted by the Abyss). We also ask about the yugoloths, but we're told we cannot pay enough to convince them for their help anyway. Duraz asks if we could use the rod to send Hector Diversey to the Tower of Incarnate Pain. Melek refuses and says it sounds like a terrible idea. This argument goes on leading to Duraz requesting that be his payment should we fix everything.
Glasia enters and says, “Lover did you tell them about the assault?” (Note that despite how often she calls Mephistopheles 'Lover' Melek literally caught this for the first time and is a bit heartbroken). Mephistopheles replies, “I have made necessary arrangements for a distraction to take place. It is both the Upper Planes and the forces of the First Layer. The Upper and Lower Planes will march on Inverness together for the distraction, and you'll find the portals you'll need to get into where you need to go.” We won’t need the map because we will have the knowledge through the rod. We'll have the path. When we make it to the Heart, we reassemble Mephistopheles and hopefully we can reverse everything that has been done.
We can’t decide what our “Captain Planet” rings are because Dan has already created the artifacts. We know that we need to all go through the same portal before it closes, otherwise we don’t know which way we’ll be entering the Abyss which could bring us back further. We get some diamonds from Mephistophiles for the journey and Zo implies she can use a large enough one to make a gate for Hector in the future. Art convinces Melek to let go of the staff for a minute so we can go through with the plan. “Do we have a covenant?” Duraz brings up the Hector argument again without success. Melek has to make a charisma roll to give up the rod. She gets a Nat1, but the mayor makes it a 20. Nat looks like they can win the skiing contest (that Don Bluth protag looking motherfucker according to Kiel). Kiel continues to bully I MEAN GUILT Dan into giving him an inspiration point for being funny. Melek definitely feels the influence to not hand over the rod, but she does so anyway. Mephistopheles says Melek is strong to resist the influence of the rod. “I’m a lesbian what can I say.” Duraz laughs so hard he slaps and does lightning damage to his knees.
The moment Mephistopheles takes the rod, he starts getting charged up but comes down from it. “This is the greatest power in this world and the next”. After more inquiries about Diversey that Duraz can’t let go, Mephistopheles reveals that “Baphomet already destroyed Diversey's army.” To which Duraz responds, “Cool send Hector and his crazy wife.” At that, we all become sad because we think about Ty. We are promised a discussion of payment later.
Glasia walks back in and we all ogle her. She remarks, "The rod looks good on you. Too bad you won’t be around to use it longer. One more kiss, Lover. For old times sake?” The group is all concerned there may be a heel turn. “One more for the sake of old times.” Mephistopheles responds, “I know you won’t fail, not me, you won’t fail this world. It has needed you more than anything in this history," and he is spontaneously immolated. The flame subsides, leaving a pile of ash with some shit in it. There appears to be: His claws, an item similar to the Wrist Cannon of Friendship, his horns which look a lot like brass knuckles, his eyes and forehead as goggles, one tooth that appears flattened and sharpened the size of a guitar pick (gee I wonder who that is for), just the bicep and the forearm (A BIG BEEFY ARM OF KNOWLEDGE), solid petrified tail the size of a polearm, one shriveled wing the size of a shield, his legs appear totally whole (haunted pants), the gem powering it from the beginning wrapped in viscera the looks like a dagger with a hilt resembling a humanoid heart.
“He stayed up all night picking out who gets what, but making you try to figure this out seems more fun,” says Glasia. Ridley suggests a nut kicking contest between Duraz for the horns. We all decide to just take the time to see what they are and determine what we would get. The answer is:
HEY WE SHOULD JUST MAKE A WIKI PAGE WITH THE DESCRIPTION AND LINK TO THESE SICK ITEMS MAYBE IDK I’M NOT YOUR DAD*** PROBABLY SHOULD KEEP THE LIST THOUGH (ok Vix you don't have to yell geez)
*Lady Zo gets Cloven Hooves of Mephistopheles (replaces Zo's legs and adv on con saves for spells)
*Kirin gets the Claw of Mephistopheles (which is a sick firearm)
*Ridley gets the Curled Horns of Mephistopheles (grants fire resistance and a cool spell)
*Jables gets the Fang of Mephistopheles (definitely not the pick of destiny. Grants some cool fucky bard shit and a frankly o.p mode of bardic inspiration)
*Melek gets the Forked Tail of Mephistopheles (a +2 polearm and a sick spell that can’t be resisted even through immunity)
*Duraz gets the Flying Elbow of Mephistopheles (+2 boomerang which grants crown of madness and other cool things)
*Digs has the Eyes of Mephistopheles (grants blindsight and advantage on init)
*Art gets the Wingshield of Mephistopheles (+2 shield fire immunity and a cool spell)
*Ash gets the Pointed Heart of Mephistopheles (+2 dagger also a compass which grants fire immunity)
Before the long rest, Digs throws the little metal plate in the fire. *Nat goes on a gay Disney tirade.* Duraz has a beautiful heart to heart with Melek and performs a ceremony of adulthood (coming of age ritual using the ceremony spell). Ash attempts and fails a fifth time to read the Libris and takes 2 points of exhaustion. Glasia walks in after Ash is woken up post failure and says to ash, “You look like my man.” “Should I be flattered?” they respond. “No.” We get some chalices for a spell and Glasia offers Lady Zo a chance to true polymorph Fraz Orbluz into a large diamond (which she helps do using some magic). He is successfully turned into the gem she needs to cast Gate. “Such a shame to see such a piece of shit go to waste.”
We are woken early by Glasia because the upper planes are under attack. Through group chatter Melek calls out some of Digs' behavior about the power of friendship (we are reluctant coworkers at best and where is the lie). As we discuss what is going to happen now that the plan has been diverted from the attack beginning in Inverness to now taking place in the Upper Planes. Glasia remarks, “It’s a shame they won’t be able to prove themselves brave, but they’ll prove themselves useful.” We now have to decide whether we help the Upper Planes or we just take the portal through to the Heart. We go the Abyss (some of us more reluctantly).
Glasia draws a pentagram to the Abyss. Ash goes through first and the rest follow.
As we go in, the portal descends into deep red dark clouds. We can hear the noise of the clash in the Upper Planes. We can see Baphomet wrecking their forces in the same way we saw Dis being destroyed when he tricked us into going into the maze. Melek is concerned and wants to go back, and Ash helps convince her that if we blow this shot this may all end for every plane of existence. We totally see Kord getting ready to throw down with Baphomet. It looks like Kord hit an invisible wall. Art comments that due to the apocalypse a lot of followers of the gods are likely gone and not praying to them as before. Baphomet looks like he totally smashes and potentially destroys Kord. (Seems like we may be setting up for a Godless Avalon campaign.) Duraz second guesses returning several times. Melek and Duraz pray for the strength they need to make the right choice and defeat the powers we are facing.
We debate what to do and decide to continue.
We go farther into the Abyss. Past the chaos. We see the forces of Bel, as well as the chaos which seems empty since they’ve been using other means to exit the Abyss. We continue, and it feels like we are getting blasted through. We hear a voice: “There are none who enter that I do not sense!” Someone else declares nearly the exact same thing in a very similar voice to which Duraz screams, “Sense these hands!” Jables says, “Sense this” and farts. We role religion and Duraz knows it’s a power with 2 voices... sounds like some demogorgon bullshit. “Demogorgon piece of shit!” Duraz says as some boulders come through and hit the group. We see a hideous beast that is in fact the Demogorgon and we roll initiative.
The battle takes place on large rocks floating around the Demogorgon, acting as platforms which orbit as a lair action with miles of potential void below. Some highlights include: Melek jumps onto and grapples the Demogorgon, which is definitely a decision. Ridley follows suit. Digs uses his jet pack to take the rock he and Jables is on so he can bash it into the Demogorgon. Dan is quoted as saying “I AM A PIECE OF SHIT.” and then looked at the party and said, “you’re not so different you and I.” Ash hits for 69 points of level 5 guiding bolt damage (NICE). Digs suffers from a charm effect and casts steel wind strike on Ash, Zo, Melek, Ridley, and Duraz.
Kiel is turgidly pissed about how Digs has good spells and doesn’t use them. Turgid Ferguson is Nat’s nickname for Kiel. The demogorgon moves down as Melek and Ridley jump off. Melek is fine. Ridley does not make it and is under the boulders while they crash, and the demogorgon slips away. While we do not outright kill the Demogorgon, we live to see another day.
We crash in a creepy forest within the Abyss. The trees appear to be made out of slate. As Ash heals the party, the effects are halved by the power of negative energies which are implied to be filled with undead forces. We use the dagger to navigate the forest, and we see ghostly figures that disappear as we get closer. We travel for about 30 minutes and reach a cliff. Apparently we are on a particularly high mountain. It’s vast a.f. We see spotted, desiccated trees as well as sparse ruins, collapsed homes and civilizations. They don’t seem to be familiar. Duraz sees it’s from the Goru dynasty from the dwarves which he knows was Atlantised (it's basically only rumored that they ever even existed). “They’re impossible and I’m terrified. It disappeared from the faces of Avalon ages ago.” We are up so high we need to make a CON save which would be fine if we are Goliaths (we all cry thinking about Ty). 
We continue up-ish towards the left. We hear the sound of footsteps behind us. There are 2 lights 60 feet behind us and they appear to be following us. That number multiplies and we see there are 30 Art zombies behind us. Digs throws a rock, but they seem unfazed. They emerge and we can see that they appear to be shambling. We roll for initiative to fight a damn army. Ash, Jables, Zo, and Duraz use A.O.E spells to kill them all. 
Nervous about more armies on our tails, we book it with Ash in the lead using the dagger compass. We come to a 5ft wide rope bridge and make some of us fly since it looks a bit rickety, and we bee-line it as fast as we can. About 200 ft in with only 40 ft of visibility, we see eyes ahead and eyes behind. We are on a footbridge now surrounded by armies of Zombie Arts and we end the game for the night in a sticky spot.
=== Book 27: Take Your Burdens There (6/5/2022) ( Lune 46th 3124 - Hesin 1st 3124 + Abyss Tyme ) ===
The journey into the heart of the abyss has begun. While Demogorgon rustled their entry, they have found themselves in the hills of Thanatos, where they are finding what happens to their friends when they die..
Session notes:
(Lady Zo shares a video postcard of her travels.)
We can see in 30 feet in any direction, and the destination end of the bridge is somewhere beyond that. We hear Art's old buddy Tekezian speaking in Abyssal, saying there's no need for Art's friends to die today. "Orcus has been very impressed with what we're able to do with your arcane signature." But we're already plotting now to drop the bridge out from under us, so we are rolling initiative.
Digs flies out and sets the ropes ablaze. Tekezian uses a legendary action to bombard us with necrotic damage, but Lady Zo maintains concentration on Fly for the four of us relying on it. Melek strides forward and attacks the burning ropes. The bridge begins to collapse, and those who are falling receive Feather Fall. Duraz flies up and grabs Art, tossing the boomerang at Tekezian with a stunning strike. But on his turn, Tekezian successfully dispels magic on Fly (Contingency gives Zo back her Fly, but the other three are SOL). She Disintegrates Tekezian and the others manage to grab hold of someone or are rescued.
Lady Zo puts Fly back on those who need it and we continue across the expanse, reaching the opposite end. Ash comes out of eagle form to use the compass dagger again, which points us down a path. More slate-gray trees.
We come upon a space where the trees appear to be actively rotting, and this effect is moving toward us just as we are moving toward it. Arcana rolls reveal that this particular kind of magic is some kind of blighting effect, definitely a radius, about 100 feet. And it'll reach us in about 12 seconds. We see the ground crack across the trail ahead of us. Bursting forth is an enormous geyser of blood. Dark, vibrant red, 40 feet high. As it lands, there is now a creature standing there. Orcus. He addresses Art in Abyssal, "All of your friends are about to die. You choose whether they die quickly or slowly." "They've already chosen." We roll Initiative.
Kirin unloads hellfire shots into him, surprising Orcus who wasn't expecting to actually be hurt by mortals today. Legendary action. Many of us are now poisoned. Another blood fissure prompts us to scatter during our turns. When he strikes someone with the Wand of Orcus, failing a CHA save causes the target to drop to 0 HP, but stable. One by one, party members are taken out of commission, and it becomes a game of logistics trying to decide whom to recover and how.
"The Devil Eyes of the Plushie" - new ska band
We're about to TPK when someone comes in and heals everyone. A six-fingered guy speaking Abyssal. "Orcus, you're starting to wane in your old age. Letting these mortals get the best of you?" Orcus:"Even you've gotten too old to die young, Garz'zt." Another demon prince, with quite a reputation. Garz'zt:"I'm not like you, beast. We are not the same. And if you wish to live to see the end of this day, you will leave my daughter alone and go somewhere else." Orcus bursts into another eruption of acidic blood, disappearing.
More heals to bring everyone back to consciousness.
We are all rather curious about his claim that Melek is his daughter. "I know who my dad is! He raised me!" "He raised you because you were taken from me." Garz'zt reaches through the ground and pulls open a door with stairs downward. The compass also points that way. We follow, eventually stepping right through a stained glass window.
We see stained glass windows everywhere, all portraying Garz'zt uncomfortably sexily. He bids us to join him in the banquet hall. The room is large enough to accommodate balors, adorned with fine tapestries, and smells amazing. There is an enormous table, candlelit. Disastrously sexy demons are perched on the table having a sensuous time together. But Digs is focused on getting food. Garz'zt orders them to vacate, which they complain about but agree to do. He summons cleanliness, and he summons the finest foods we've ever soon.
"If you are looking to discuss... patronage, I want only to be reunited with my daughter." Insight24, he doesn't seem to be dishonest, but he's also a demon prince. "Are you Namtar?" (Ereshkegal's messenger) "Ah, so that's who Ereshkegal sent to take you from me." Garz'zt has been trying to reach out to her, for many years. She was being kept from him because "they know what we could do together." He offers us freedom, as he puts it.
He then chats with Art, asks them what their station was. "Your story is my own, but I've got a couple dozen more chapters. Lance colonel, second class. But with every attack, I lost more soldiers. And as we were leading an expedition down here, we decided not to die." And so, Art was sent in after them. Art clarifies that whereas -they- deserted, -this- guy went full traitor. Garz'zt also questions Asmodeus' decision never to end things.
Is this what Mephistopheles put you all up to? Garz'zt continues to contrast our current plan of following orders to our likely demise to his offer of the freedom to choose our destinies.
"You know, I was there when he wrote that." The Libris Oblivicon was written by Asmodeus, it turns out. "Asmodeus was not a creature. He was no more a creature than hatred is a creature." Do we think we can destroy evil? No, of course not. "We are all creatures of incredible power. Most of all, self-determination. So, I won't force you. That's not my game any more. The seed of pure evil is not the only darkness in the universe." All we can do is survive and enjoy the view.
"You can do that," he says of Mephistopheles' plan for us. "The better plan is we take the reins of the wickedness of this world, and we rule everything." Why would he want to share? "Because I won't live forever, and I'm loathe to think of a universe that doesn't have one such as myself in it. But I was able to create something just as beautiful."
He offers us individual rooms, but Art insists we have communal sleeping arrangements, which Garz'zt prepares.
We discuss our options. Ash takes every possible boon to get Int40 (needed 25) to ask the Libris Oblivicon what course of action gets us back to the status quo. The book, which we now note is written by Asmodeus, says the best option is to return Asmodeus to power. Go figure.
Another question. What happens if the crystal is whole again? If it is made whole again, it will be powerful enough to return things to the way they were before Asmodeus took control of the Nine Hells. And at that power, someone who takes control of it could direct it to unmake itself.
Meanwhile, Lady Zo is off doing her own thing in a separate room.
We end with another Melek dream sequence! She's a kid on her mom's lap. Your favorite story? How about we read a different one. The story of a princess who gives the king everything that he wants...
=== Book 28: By and By 6/12/22 (Hesin 2nd 3124 + Abyss Time - ) ===
Our party might have an ally in the abyss. What's the cost of his company, though?
Session notes:
Vix is getting a free ride! And we're all chipping in to get Dan the official Dungeon Master Halloween costume.
We outline Lady Zo's spellcasting, including having cast Simulacrum via Wish (though she still can't cast Gate until we leave this place). Kirin reforges his Claw of Mephistopheles into a weapon that suits him better.
We go to sleep! Melek's dream sequence continues.
Garz'zt:"You want to give me everything I want, don't you?" "You're not my real dad!" "If you're not going to be the daughter that I want, then you're just going to have to GIVE me the daughter that I want." The six-fingered hand opens the book, which is hollow on the inside, and he pulls out a maggot, demanding that Melek open her mouth to receive it. Athletics21 to escape his grasp. We all shudder from the squick of this ordeal.
Meanwhile, Digs was small-spooning by Melek. He feels Melek twitching from the bad dream, squeezing him. He realizes he needs to try to awaken her. Digs tries again harder. No good. He calls to Ridley to try and awaken her instead. 21 to hit! Minimum damage 6. No response. Digs rolls Arcana22 to see if this is magical sleep? Yeah, there's certainly something going on in the dream realm here. He wakes everyone else in the room. Ash can't move (5x exhaustion from attunement to the Libris Oblivicon). Duraz casts Protection from Good and Evil on Melek. Ridley, by Ash's request, finds Lady Zo and encounters the duplicate. The "Ditto" wakes Lady Zo, who gives Ash snacks one at a time (five times) until she recovers. Duraz starts calling out Garz'zt, telling him to get out here and face us. No response. Tries his name three times, just in case it works like that, to no avail.
In the dream, Melek is grappled! Garz'zt is getting ready to feed her the maggot.
In the waking world, Duraz attempts Dispel Magic on any negative effects on Melek.
In the dream, just as she's about to have the maggot forced into her, Melek wakes! And immediately punches Duraz. Oops!
"He was trying me make me have a baby!" We instantly agree that his ass is grass. Actions are readied.
We are in the entrance room with Garz'zt's self-depicting stained glass. Melek tries to smash one of the stained glass panes, but despite what he told her, she can't affect it either.
Ash tries scrying on Garz'zt but can't discern anything about him. Digs starts vandalizing the windows with ink. Melek tries activating her Celestial form to see if she can open them that way. We all stand back, out of range of her radiant pulses. It takes some time, but the windows are beginning to crack. A voice, "Vanity was always my favorite sin." Melek:"Read up, it's not a sin." "Is there no way we can have an alliance?" Not after the impregnation BS, that's crossing a line. Melek:"What can you give us that we can't achieve ourselves?" He's pressing hard on the progeny with the potential to rule over this world and the next. No, thank you. Even the characters who may have considered it aren't having any of it now. "Then I will build my throne on your bones." The stained glass images begin to move, 50 of them, and they step out of their frames. Initiative and readied actions.
"Pile for Posterity" -new band name
We unload area attacks against the glass constructs. They have less than 50hp and go down in one or two blasts, so we make quick work of them. Garz'zt addresses us again. "Vanity. My favorite sin. Second favorite? WRATH." and he appears.
(We break for Dan to make a call, which extends into being our regular dinner break.)
"Vanity. My favorite smurf. Second favorite? GROUCHY!" and he appears. (He didn't actually say that.)
Early on, he's shoved partway into one of the windows. He seems to meld into it but hurriedly teleports into the center of the room.
After we've damaged him severely, he takes a reaction to return to full health. "I cannot die while I am in my realm! This is my keep, and you are my prisoners!" We change tactics to try and get him through one of the windows. This is made difficult by his continuous use of teleportation around the field as legendary actions every few player turns.
Digs uses Disguise Self to take the form of a diminutive Garz'zt. "Truly the greatest sin would be ignoring yourself." Digs tries to taunt him, but Garz'zt is unfazed.
Duraz finally manages to shove Garz'zt entirely outside the room and finds that he can now him follow through the glass. Game ON.
We start to swarm him, but he teleports farther down that hallway and up some stairs. We exit combat turn order as we rush through the window and along the path.
As we proceed, the hall starts resembling a cave filled with mushrooms. Bones, humanoid-ish skulls. Souls that are actively being consumed by the mushrooms. Arcana20+ to recognize this, and we recall that there is a layer of the Abyss that is the domain of Zuggtmoy, the demon queen of fungus.
Reaching a fork in the path and with no sign where Garz'zt may have fled, the dagger points us left. Ash persuades Melek to give up the chase and focus on our primary task.
We carry on, past the souls being consumed. A fresher one begs us to move Melek's conjured light away from him. It's Kostya. Kirin starts trying to clear the mushrooms that are eating him, but is warned against it by Kostya because "she" will know we're here. Wait, never mind, she ALREADY knows we're here.
(Also, in case it comes up again, Digs is still Disguised.)
=== Book 29: Pilgrim of Sorrow 6/19/22 (Hesin 2, 3124 + Abyss Time) ===
THE PENULTIMATE ADVENTURE TO THE CAMPAIGN 
Our party is trying to find their way to the heart of the abyss. Following the infernal compass, they got passed Graz'zt, but now they must face the demon queen of fungus...
Session notes:
Kostya gets sucked into the fungus, with a sickening grapefruit eating noise. (We discuss for a solid two minutes what this sounds like.)
The path that led us here, those who can see in the dark 60 feet notice that the mushrooms are blooming, growing, becoming more engorged, closing off the corridor, and releasing spores. The effect is coming nearer. We book it the other way.
We hear, down ahead, what sounds like a child's voice singing a lullabye. "Fear not for your future, for now you must weep, in Zuggtmoy's cradle, your body shall sleep." Duraz instructs Jables to use bardy shit to give us advantage against Charm effects. We continue, and we find little Cully, lashed up and melded into the mushrooms. He looks up at us with matte eyes. "Is this a dream?" Digs:"Nah, you're dead." Melek comforts him, that this was just a dream. He ponders that maybe he was a mold that only DREAMED he was a boy. We try and we fail to leave as an FMV sequence begins. His body shreds and separates, with fungus filling in the spaces as he transforms, horrifically, into a monstrosity. Because this is a transformation sequence, we follow the rules of anime and don't attack until he's done.
Fight scene or chase scene? We back away and try to escape the abomination. But all but Digs fail the Dex save, and we're restrained into actually fighting this battle.
Digs starts off by Disguising Self as Susan to try and convince Cully to release us. "The Queen sees through all. My mother is dead, and she too shall be consumed by the all-devouring hunger of the Queen." (Some question whether Susan died, but we decide it doesn't matter.)
On his turn, Cully summons more shrooms across our exit (immediately next to Zo who ends up tanking them somehow) and then exudes spores into the air that reach everyone else, attempting to charm those who are not immune to it. Jables is afflicted by the Madness of Zuggtmoy.
Melek delivers the final blow. The mushroomy bits disappear, leaving him collapsed.
Kostya manages to emerge from the wall to assist us. "The Queen, she's been weakened. She took the boy as an avatar. You can escape, but you have to go now! BUT BEWARE!" We have to watch the floor, as the realm overlaps in places with that of Jubilex, the Lord of Slime.
We ultimately do come to a fork where the left path is slimy, and the dagger points there. We discuss and choose to take the other path, at least for a while, and then decide whether we need to double back. Digs tries Arcana, it's not harmful slime, but the drippings of an active slime somewhere along that path.
(DINNER)
After a few minutes, and with mushrooms beginning to awaken to our presence, the dagger spins forward. We reach another fork, neither of which is gooey. We follow the pointer and come to an open room where bodies are writhing in pain, fungus'd to the walls. The dagger is pointing toward one of the people on the wall. A tiefling we do not recognize. No items on his person. Is there a passage behind him?
Ash, Abyssal:"Do I know you?" "Yes. We served the same master, whose heart you now carry." He can ferry us to the next room. Insight24, yeah, servants of Mephistopheles have always proven loyal even in the Abyss. "Command me in the name of our master, and I will send you." Ash does so. His eyes roll back, a lot of the other bodies on the wall look over at what's happening. Red energy eminates from him in a pentagram at our feet, and we descend into it, like teleportation spells we've experienced.
We are now in a barred room with Yugo. "Ah, my comrades. So nice to see you back. What is your will?" The dagger is pointing to the cell door. Demonsteel, recognized by Digs, Baphomet's specialty. Ridley tries the door, CHA save Nat20, the door opens! Yugo wants to stay to continue fulfilling his role, naturally.
We follow the dagger. Souls we don't recognize. In another cell, we see unmoving, misshapen creatures. Proto-demons? Art rolls high enough to recognize that this is an intentional effect these demons are undergoing, being warped by the Heart of the Abyss into new beings. We must be getting close, and we leave them be.
We encounter one humanoid. He's fucking gorgeous, oily everywhere, chained by his wrists. "MOTHER OF KORD." Kord looks at Duraz and speaks, "What cruel torture is this?" "No torture, brother. We are here to set things right." Kord says that it can't be done, but Duraz retorts confidently and inspiringly. "It's over. I lost. We all lost. Our followers are dead." Not so! We have Duraz, the devoutest you've got! "I see a forsaking in your soul. Why did you not tag in when we were tagging for a call out?" "You had a job, and you did that job well. I have a job, and I am doing that job well. We will do this." Persuasion. Kiel accepts several rerolls until he gets a Nat1 to mayor into a Nat20. "Listen here, brother. You're not staying here much longer. We're getting to that crystal, and everything will be made perfect, and you will again be that humanoid typhoon that YOU ARE. WOO!"
Kord takes a deep breath to let forth the mightiest WOO, but he is cut short by a bowstring drawn across a violin. No one is pleased to see Baphomet's son Friedran. There is no visible sign of his prior decapitation. "Gods are like instruments, you know. Pretty to look at, but useless without someone to play them." Digs insults him in response. Jables pulls out his violin, ready to fiddle. Duraz squares up to battle. Friedran holsters his fiddle and bow and wills Duraz, with all his faith, to take his best shot. Kiel uses Divine Favor. "Kord, I know you can hear me since you're 15 feet behind me..." He prays. Thaumaturgy:"THE TAG TEAM MATCH TO END ALL TAG TEAM MATCHES!"
(Mike arrives, we recap.)
Chains snapping behind us. The noise of demonsteel snapping. Kord comes forth, fucking enormous, brushes us out of the way, and puts a hand on Duraz's shoulder. Give him one for the both of us! Duraz unleashes a shoryuken. Friedran, similarly, is empowered by Baphomet while being knocked over. It's like they're piloting mecha.
On his turn, Friedran uses an ability that effectively casts Maze on everyone. But it fails to affect Duraz who is techinically a god at present.
Five of those corrupted demons join the fray.
At the bottom of round three, Duraz breaks Friedran's concentration, and Maze is dropped on those who were still in the Maze.
We use various teleports and such to flee the scene at Duraz's insistance. He says to Melek, "MY PROUDEST MOMENT WASN'T AS A WRESTLER OR AS A CLERGYMAN, BUT AS YOUR FATHER. NOW, GET TO THE HEART!"
We come upon seven portals. The dagger points to the second. We link hands to avoid being separated. "FOR DURAZ!" "...woo!"
The group emerges in a bleak plain. Lightning in the sky. Off in the distance, something glimmering. We move toward it. It starts raining fire, but we're all resistant or better. The thing is like a sunrise, but it's not the sun. It's winged. "COME AND SEE ONCE MORE!!"
50000xp, which grants already-level-20 characters an epic boon.
=== Book 30: Here I am To Worship 6/25/22 - 6/26/22 (Hesin 3, 3124 + Abyss Time) ===
THE FINALE - The bickering of the Scourge
Session notes:
Full recap! And it's now 8:58pm. Let's end this.
Zerel looks bigger than before. Enormous. And coming our way. "WHEN I RETURNED TO THE HEART OF THE ABYSS, I GOT THE CHANCE TO SPEAK WITH IT. IT TOLD ME EVERYTHING. HOW TO BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN I EVER IMAGINED. AND IT TOLD ME THAT YOU WOULD COME BACK, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WAIT. AND IT TOLD ME THAT IT'S GOING TO KEEP YOU, TOO." He draws his great and glowing sword. Melek tries to attack, but he is shielded with fire and weird, purple, Abyssal energy. Roll initiative.
Jables launches an attack, which fails in the purple aura. "YOU FOOL, I AM IN THE BOSOM OF THE HEART OF THE ABYSS, AND SHE HAS GIVEN ME HER BLESSING!" "Bitch, you're in the bosom of DEEZ NUTZ!" Zerel slashes the sword twice and brings pillars of purple energy down upon Zo and Kirin, damaging and restraining them. Melek manages to hit with a 29. "For Duraz! For Ty! For everyone that we have loved, and for everyone that we have lost, KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER!!"
Occasionally, attacks that deal 50+ damage are said to affect the shield, which instantly reforms. Single instances of less damage do nothing.
Digs addresses Zerel on his turn. "You serve the Abyss?" Z:"I LIVE for the Abyss!" D:"Then that is your weakness. For I serve no one." The kobold loads an unstable-looking Shell 101 into the Doomstick. 61d10's?? 357 damage. There is a thunderous explosion, and when all clears, shards of the shattered force shield. But Digs is on the ground, looking like his life has been drained, dead. Zerel takes damage, but now his intense light is shining and prompting CON saves against being blinded on everyone's turn.
(Shell 101, we are told, is what was powering his jetpack.)
Lady Zo True Ploymorphs herself into a Pit Fiend. We agree it looks like Sweetums with shades and a frock of pink hair. Nat illustrates this for our amusement.
At the top of the third round, Morrigan Devlin opens a Gate to send Ty and Hector into the battle! "NOO! MY DRAGON FRIEND!" Ty lifts Digs and brings him to Ash.
Kirin blasts Zerel to pieces. We save against the force of the explosion. Ash casts Revivify on Digs, who reports that he had seen the Nine Hells and Tiamat. "I saw what I thought I always wanted. I stood at her feet. And I have much thinking to do."
Melek flies high to scout and sees that the Heart of the Abyss is about a 30 mile hike from our present position, a day's journey. Ridley realizes Ty has been missing this whole time.
We travel 10 miles, and then Lady Zo casts Wish to summon the Magnificent Mansion so we can safely rest.
Digs accidentally cuts himself. He's hurt himself! The curse is broken!
Digs tries to convince Ash to give up the book, reasoning that it's part of who they were, and Ash should leave it behind. Hector gathers there's a cursed item being discussed, and he casts Greater Restoration. Meanwhile, Ash quietly leaves the dagger on the banquet table, but Digs brings it back to them. They are no longer attuned to the book, but Ash still insists on taking it with when they go to their room.
Kirin consoles Melek, who is near the door hoping beyond hope that Duraz may arrive. "Can I pet your head?" "...sure." Ash reminds Melek of Duraz's last words to us, saying how proud of her he is. Ash gives Melek some more reading and writing lessons, realizes she's LEFT HANDED, no wonder this was so difficult.
Ash purposefully reattunes and wants to ask the book a question in the morning. "What happens to my soul when this book consumes it?" Oh, except they have the five levels of exhaustion and can't move. Melek finds Lady Zo. Zo is judgemental, but gives Ash the five snacks of Scoobis and is ready to wake them and give one more if they fail. But Ash succeeds! "You belong to the will of Asmodeus." "I have my answer."
Suiting up montage.
As we travel the remaining distance, we see giant floating rocks in the expanse. The glimmering gets closer. A great and powerful red gem. Close enough, we see the crack where the missing piece belongs. No one can perceive anyone else nearby, hidden or otherwise.
There is some eleventh-hour second guessing whether this is the best idea, but there are no other options available to us. We combine our pieces of him to reforge Mephistopheles. He reconstitutes, holding the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus.
Effortlessly, he reinserts the shard and makes the gem whole again. He then puts a hand to the Heart of the Abyss and communes with it, speaking his part aloud. "...you want me to what?"
We worry for a moment that the Heart is overwhelming him, but Mephistopheles is sticking to the plan. He addresses us, "We are partners, and so, when you hear what I am about to say, I need a covenant that you will tell no one else. The only way I can commune with it is if I share my true name." We agree to this. He says a word in the deepest, most ancient Abyssal ever uttered. Dan can't say it, I can't write it, but it is stated by Mephistopheles.
A voice is bellowing from behind in Infernal! "I always wanted to know your true name." Asmodeus!?! Alive?? "All my spies, all my libraries, all I've ever wanted to know was your true name, and you've just given it to me." Asmodeus barks Mephistopheles' true name and orders him to kneel, which is obeyed absolutely. "You've done incredible work. This was a plan that I orchestrated ages ago, and everything went according to plan." Asmodeus declares that Mephistopheles has outlived his usefulness to Bator (the Nine Hells).
He offers to reestablish the status quo, with cushy jobs for all of us! He outlines the roles everyone would have, except Ty as it was assumed correctly that he would never accept such an offer.
Hector tries to Banish Mephistopheles, but it fails. Asmodeus wants us to strike him down.
Ash:"I thought I could get freedom by leaving." Ash calls people out for blaming them for all of this. We argue amongst ourselves.
Melek runs for the Heart of the Abyss. Ash fails to stop her. Asmodeus give a very Wonka-ish, uncaring "No. Someone stop her." Melek fails a CHA save upon contact with it, and she jolts back with Abyssal energy. Her wings emerge, and they singe black. The DM rules that she is now thinking "Yeah, you know what? That DOES sound like a good idea! I COULD be the Dutchess of the Nine!"
Kirin walks to Mephistopheles, thanks the devil for giving him the weapon, and hacks off Mephistopheles' hand. Ash sends a sun beam through his chest. Melek powers up, apologizes, and twists his neck.
By now, Hector has decided his presence is no longer needed. He and Ty exit through another Gate provided by Morrigan.
Asmodeus recovers the shard, returns it to the Ruby Rod, and grants us our choice of epilogues. Those who want to return to their mortal lives may do so, but those who desire to shape the things that are to come may accept his offer. The split is about even, as detailed on individual character pages. Notably, Ash has negotiated for Duraz to be resurrected, so Duraz also returns to the mortal plane.