Aaron's New Album

This is the sixteenth episode of The SBFW Chronicles.
==Transcript==
(Aaron is sitting in his computer chair, spinning it around like a madman)
Aaron: WHEE MOTHERFUCKER!
(He then falls off the chair and crashes into his music stash)
Aaron: Not Weezer Raditude! It's the rare red version! Oh, and I paid a hundred dollars for it too. Got it for a bargain off of that homeless guy who smelled like cat piss.
Aaron’s brother: The fuck are you doing over there?
Aaron: Shut up bro, I'm busy.
Aaron’s brother: Mom says you need to do dishes.
Aaron: Tell her the dishes can clean themselves like Israel is cleansing Palestine.
Aaron’s brother: I don't even know what that means.
Aaron: I don't give a shit, just go.
(Aaron’s brother reluctantly leaves, and Aaron sighs)
Aaron: I need to make up for this damage I've caused to my collection.
Bot (inside Aaron’s head): Charli XCX. Charli. Charli. Charli-
Aaron: No, Bot, that's what I did last time. Now get out of my head.
Bot: Fine. But good luck with Vanessa.
Aaron: Wait what-
Vanessa: Hi I'm here to ruin your already ruined day.
Aaron: GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Dan: Get the fuck out my face, yuh!
Liz: He doesn't even have a penis yet!
Stryker: ...FLOOD!
NotJoe: Terrorist Waffle? Sounds like my kinda guy!
Aaron (outside of his head): Okay, let's calm down. What should I buy today? People Like Us? Slapp Happy? Ween? Pope White Duck?
Bot (in-person): Self plug alert!
Aaron: Get out of my room! Jesus, what's up with this show and random appearances?
(Bot turns into dust, and Aaron starts coughing)
Aaron: I forgot I'm allergic to dust. Anyway, I'm gonna go buy that new Charli album.
(Cut to Aaron putting on a raincoat and heading out the door)
Aaron’s mother: Where are you going, young man?
Aaron: Going to buy milk.
Aaron's mother: Okay, but don't go for too long. We all know what happened to your dad…
Aaron: That won't happen. Bye.
(Aaron heads out the door for real this time. He puts on some headphones and starts listening to some music)
(Cut to Bot browsing the local music store, looking for the new Charli album)
Bot: Oh boy, I sure hope the new Charli XCX album is in stock right now. Us hyperpop fans keep getting done dirty.
(Her eyes fall onto a lone copy of the new Charli XCX album, titled XEXY)
Bot: Damn, it’s the last one. Well, better grab it before someone else does.
(She picks up the album from the shelf, and Aaron comes in just as she does so)
Aaron: GET OFF MY GRUB, SCRUB!
Bot: What the fuck are you talking about-
(Aaron piles on top of Bot, and they start fighting over the album. The cashier, who is Vanessa, just shrugs at the camera)
Vanessa: I don’t get paid enough for this side hustle.
Forest: DID SOMEONE SAY SIDE HUSTLE?
Vanessa: I thought we banned you yesterday.
Forest: I promise, crying like a baby is a new form of art!
(Forest gets yeeted out of the store, and Vanessa sighs)
(Meanwhile, Aaron and Bot are still fighting over the album)
Bot: Hey, I was here first!
Aaron: Well, I thought of being here first!
Bot: I bet it was me inside your head who made you think of that.
Aaron: ...how the fuck did you know?
Bot: I have my ways.
Aaron: Okay, how about rock-paper-scissors?
Bot: I prefer my own version, rock-paper-scissors-lizard-cock.
Aaron: That sound hella cursed.
Bot: Yeah it needs work. Let’s just do the original version instead.
Both: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
(Aaron beats Bot with paper against rock)
Bot: DAMN IT! Oh well, I’m sure my dad will sell it on eBay later anyway.
Aaron: YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY MADAM!
(Bot sulks as Aaron buys the album and heads out)
Bot: (approaching Vanessa) Do you happen to have any mp3 files on your person today?
Vanessa: Yeah I do. Do you want the Stimp Stimpson mp3 file pack or the NotJoe pack?
Bot: You know I’m not insane, right?
Vanessa: Stimp Stimpson it is, I guess.
(Cut to Aaron at home with his new Charli XCX album)
Aaron: Yes! A new addition to my collection.
Bot (inside Aaron’s head): Play it now!
Aaron: Fine, voice inside my head. (he inserts the music disc into his computer, and it blue screens)
Bot: OMG NO A VIRUS
(Meanwhile in Alaska)
Golfpecks: I sense a disturbance in the force.
(end)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:2021
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:2021 Transcripts
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:FireMatch
Category:2020s