2014.02.12 - Waffle Skirmish

Just outside of New York City proper, there's a lovely, little under-appreciated Diner called _Camille's Bar & Grill_, which serves up some of the best dinner food you could ever want at 10:15am. That's what time it is, son, and the sun has managed to be penetratingly-annoying, blasting through the windows of the diner, making the place sweat-worthy. This place is tucked in the middle of a mostly abandoned, parking-lot riddled street, and the sun has confused most of the animals and residents of the neighborhood, because it's frickin' Winter. For some, with all the snow as of late, it's a blessing.
Tabitha Smith doesn't care either way, of course, she just wants her chicken and waffles. But she's not even inside yet... she's in the parking lot about 200 feet away. Nobody seems to be around except her, and the random gangster-wannabe that she's just kicked in the gnards. Yeah, I said it.
"You you bein' a bitch!" he called out, following her along like a lost puppy, while grabbing his junk. It was entirely possible he'd be grabbing his junk no matter what was happening. Tabs didn't know or care about this guy, either, she just wanted her food. She'd spent the night at a nearby house party, and just spent the last 15 minutes wandering the neighborhood looking for a place like this, which in her bleary-eyed state looked like pure salvation.
 
Meanwhile, 10,000 feet up... 
Deadpool grabs an armed soldier and smashes his face through the lexan window of the plane. A vast roaring noise fills the airframe and the plane lurches violently to one side. Undaunted by the sudden discombobulation, Heh. Fun word. Deadpool turns and scythes his katana across another man's throat, sending a spray of arterial blood against the seats which are fast becoming part of the ceiling. "This is just like that level in Call of Duty! All three of them! ...wait, they recycled an airplane level three times?" 
Deadpool pivots and throws three micro-stun grenades at a trio of guards trying to maneuver around a doorway, then without stopping, grabs a man by the arm, stopping his knife attack, and promptly and rapidly headbutts him into unconsciousness. 
Running over some seats, Deadpool makes it to the front cabin, just aft of the cockpit Heh. Co- No. Stop that. "Heh. Cockpit." Sigh. and slaps what looks like a breaching charge on it. The door blasts inwards, and the plane goes into a nosedive. 
Cue badass entry! Deadpool jumps facefirst into the cabin, SMPs spraying a line of automatic fire, and lands right next to a man in a suit with /fantastic/ hair. 
"Come with me, Mr. President!" Deadpool shouts, flinging another breaching charge onto the emergency exit door. It blasts open, the air whipping a thousand papers into a tornado. Why are there always loose leaf papers? He grabs the man, straps him to his chest with hurried motions, then with a WOOOOOOO!! leaps out of the emergency exit, narrowly missing the intake manifold on the engine. 
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, I AM NOT THE PRESIDENT!" the man screams repeatedly, all the way down.
Really. 'Laying low' usually doesn't include dive diners and abandoned parking lots. It really doesn't. Not normally, anyway. Not for Loki, exiled Prince of Asgard. 'Laying low' means high profile poker games, fetes and soirees with a few jewelry heists on the side.
And the occasional death of under ten people. More than that? That falls into the category of 'potentially noticed'.
There are some things that must be done to further his own cause, however, and part of that is to watch someone shovel food into their face at a ridiculous speed in a booth of said diner. Loki is at a booth looking away in unmasked disgust and out the window on this bright and steamy day (which, oddly enough, doesn't affect the God of Chaos). The sun is a nice thing, though. Particularly when his brother is the God of Thunder and rain.
The contrails of the jet gain some notice, though the fact there are dark blips that fall rapidly from said aircraft? Heh... maybe it would be more fun if Thor was around just now?
Right now, the Moon Knight is on holiday. No, it's Marc Spec- wait, no, it's Jake Lockley, apparently, heading his way towards the diner. And then, he looks up. Is that..an airpl- OH SHIT. In the sense of danger, the Moon Knight personality kicks in, running towards back towards his vehicle to grab his suit.
Tabitha catches notice of the inconsistent grumbles of an airplane out of control, and looks up, seeing smoke. "AIRSHOW!" she says, whipping her arms outwardly to show her enthusiasm, while laying a fist into the random delinquent still pestering her, socking him in the nose. "Airshow, airshow, airshoooow!" Tabitha starts jumping up and cheering! YAAAAY! What would make an airshow even more fantastic? Fireworks, of course. So, she starts flinging little time-bombs all over the parking lot. Whee! Whee! Each exploding upon impact, at completely random, varying levels. Ihe was the thirteenth explosion that had inadvertently landed upon a parked fahrvergnügen, setting it ablaze. "Wheeee!" With someone's pleasure in driving diminished, as well as alerting the staff and some customers inside the diner.
"Aw, nuts," Tabitha muttered, noticing her mistake. The phrase was still a pun-intended-sore-subject for the dude next to her, still clutching his nose, and he backed away.
"DON'T WORRY MISTER PRESIDENT! I'VE DONE THIS THREE TIMES IN CALL OF DUTY AND I ALMOST BEAT THIS LEVEL IN SPLINTER CELL." 
"YOU ****ing **********, I AM NOT THE ******* PRESIDENT YOU IDIOTIC ****** **** ***** AND ******* *** **** ***** when I ********* your ********** I will PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT YOUR ******* ASS ******" screams the man strapped to Deadpool, hammering on his chest with one hand and hanging onto an attache case with the other. 
"Hey, watch your asterisks!" Heh. Ass-terisks. Ok, that one was funnier. Deadpool watches the plane start to descend to a crash a few miles away, and looks down at his own landing pad, a parking lot Ooh where someone's signalling my landing! Awesome! below them. "Well, if YOU'RE not the President, then I ain't gonna rescue you! I'm just gonna rescue this case!" 
Snickersnack goes the katana, and the guy screams and falls away from Deadpool, minus an arm and screaming as loudly as he can, "NO WAIT, I AM THE PRESIDENT, YOU ... ****************" 
"And now, all I need to do is pull the ripcord on my parachute and land gently on the ground," Deadpool announces. He starts looking for his parachute. 
A human body slams into the roof of the diner, smashing through it and landing with a healthy SQQQRTCH on Loki's table. "Not... the... president..." 
Deadpool lands right on the car next to Tabitha a few seconds later. There's a comedic pause and then a parachute goes *phut* and pops out of his backpack.
<OOC> Moon Knight says, "HELLO DEADPOOL"
Gurgle. "Hi... douchey... 4th wall breaking... player.... of... Moon Knight."
<OOC> Moon Knight says, "I am /not/ a douche."
The food-shoveler that sits opposite Loki actually pauses for a breath, sitting back briefly before he takes note that his companion is staring out the window. He does the same, though while he's looking, he's reaching for his cup of hot coffee. Then-- the fireworks. He's got the cup half-way before its spilled all over his lap in his bid to rise,
"That's my Fox! Sonuva--"
"Oh.. pity." So very little sympathy there.
"But.. but.. I had the write-ups in there for you!"
There is a long moment when Loki stares at the man before him, and exhales in a long, soft breath. "I see."
Rising from his seat, the Prince shakes his head and flicks a finger in passing. As he slides from the booth, the shovel-man begins to draw air in desperate gasps, trying to breathe and finding the action difficult.
Loki doesn't even bother looking back as he navigates through the tables and chairs, past the waitress, not even bothering to point out the fact that there is a patron's face beginning to turn blue from obvious choking. (Everyone had witnessed the eating of the food!)
It's out through the front door then, and Loki stares at the fireworks, his head quirking. Another one of those 'mutants'? Are they really that numerous?
Meanwhile, Jake has grabbed his suit, whilst no one was looking. No phone booths, just hiding behind an alley, before running back towards the diner. Gadgets, check. Moonlight..no check. Well, what's the worst that could happen? "At the sign of fireworks, he's looking for a source, before running towards Tabitha, truncheon drawn. THE MOON KNIGHT IS HERE. Moonless."
Tabitha Smith's attention is at first on the car she'd set on fire. She was blowing at it, like one might do if trying to cool down a spoon full of steaming soup. Well, that wasn't working.
She heard a noise--no, not the man crashing through the roof...she'd selectively chose to ignore that. It was the parachute. Tabitha turned around, seeing Deadpool. "Oh, hey. You're that weirdo from the bar," she said, nonchalantly, and pointed. "Look...! *Another* fire!" She looks back over to Deadpool, and then over to the incoming Moon Knight, and addresses them both, while fanning the 5-feet-tall flames of the car with her hands. "Wanna help me put this out?"
It's the *FWOOMP* that causes Loki to turn around, the crashing through the roof of the diner.. and it honestly causes him to wince in sympathetic pain. Mortals usually can't survive something like that, but he recalls the pain quite well. It's the *phut* afterwards that actually brings a half-smile to his face.
That'd be his luck too.
Now, however, the fires. Stepping down the stairs of the dive to the main level of the parking area, well the curb first, Loki's watching. Pulling a phone from his jacket (that he has no desire to learn how to use!), he calls out, his tones dripping with amusement, "Shall I call the authorities for you? You look like you could use help."
Those last words, of course, comes with a flaring of the fire on the VW Fox, as heat discovers gasoline in the tank and in the fuel lines. In one, two seconds, it's going to go *kaboom*...
	Sitting in a darker corner of the greasy diner...tucked away in the unlit section (broken fluorescent light dontchaknow), is one Typhoid Mary, nursing a hangover. She drank toooooooo hard last night, partied just hard enough, and is now chugging coffee after coffee, and chewing up uncoated aspirin like it's the pastel candy from a candy necklace. Every now and then, a dreadful groan escapes her throat, and she squints at the patrons of the diner through black sunglasses. (Even in her darkened section.)
 
	Then, a fuckin' body comes crashing through the ceiling.
 
	And, it's causing some dude to choke or something.
 
	Whatever this is, it can't be good. Time to make an exit.
 
	Digging in her too-tight leather pants, she pulls out a crumpled $10 and leaves it on the table as she makes her way outside, brushing past the guy just fuckin' standin' there, like she's got all fuckin' day to wait while he gawks at shit. "Mmmsdjf," she mumbles as she does so, and pulls up short as she sees Deadpool, with a severed arm still tightly clasping a briefcase. Ugh, noooo.
 
	She tries to make a hasty retreat. It's too fuckin' early for Deadpool. But, shit, there's fire. And, more fire. And, some douchebag in a fuckin' gadget-y suit. Shitttttttt.
 
	Typhoid tries to curl up into herself, almost hiding in her jacket to make an escape.
As the possible evil-doer (at least to Moony) calls out for assistance, he stops. "Wait, you /didn't/ cause this fire? Are you /sure/? I saw you tossing bombs in the air, are you sure you're not an evildoer?" And then the Asgardian shows up. "Okay, what the hell is going? I'm confused, all four of me."
 
"Hey, is that Mary? HAI MARY! MAAAARY!" Deadpool gets to his feet (kinda), his body reassembling itself as he staggers along like the zombie Mary resembles at the moment. The bloody arm attached to the suitcase trails along behind him. "HI! WHERE YA GOIN?" he calls to the woman trying to slouch out of the scene. 
Deadpool cracks his own neck back into place and finally straightens as his pelvis fuses back together. "Why are we putting fires /out/?" Deadpool asks Tabitha, his mask making a frowny face. "Fires are fun! I love fires! Here, have a thermite bomb." He chucks one of them into yet another car. There's a *fwumph* of the thermite dust scattering, then an explosive belch of air and a minor concussive force as the car literally explodes into flames. 
"None of that BS about the car exploding for no good reason here!" Deadpool declares cheerily. 
"Hi, I'm Deadpool," he says, the scene pausing for a moment. He speaks in his best Dr. Leo Spaceman voice. "And I'd like to talk to you about modern traffic safety laws." Modern safety laws? his left hand asks, miming a little puppet. "Why, that's right, yellow voice. See, cars today are designed not to explode. Tried shooting the gas line? Hitting the fuel point? Even with incendiary rounds, cars just don't blow up like they did in the 70s." Aww, but that's no fun! "That's right, Yellow Text, it's not. So unless you rear-end a Pinto, the best way to make a car explode is to use thermite or a military grade explosive." 
A bunch of children's voices come along, singing with Deadpool. "Remember these words if you need to burn a car! You need a bunch of thermite, in a big ja-ar!" 
We now return you to your regularly emitted scene. 
Deadpool hands another thermite grenade to Tabitha. "Here, go nuts! In fact, THERMITE GRENADES FOR EVERYONE!" he declares. He throws one at Moon Knight, then one at Loki. Then he looks at the detonating pins dangling from his fingers, instead of being safely where they should be on the incendiary devices.
"Uh. Whups."
Tabitha decided to give up on trying to put out the fire, and had turned around and walked away just seconds before the car let out a furious explosion when the gasline ignited. She twitched, momentarily forgetting that this kind of thing happens near her almost every day.
"I'm totally evil," Tabitha says back to Moon Knight. "Roarrr!" Making awkward imitations of animals. "Raaawr! Growl!" She'd hoped her meek, exaggerated noises were convincing him of her diabolical nature. Tabby stepped backwards, cause who has time for looking where they're going, and advanced towards the diner on a path right into the exiting Typhoid Mary's general departure. 
Tabitha looked over to the entrance, and saw Loki holding the phone up. She just assumed he was the owner of the diner, and therefore some kind of authority figure. So, Tabitha raised her volume in an appeal to this: "You ne'er do wells best bescuttling along, lest we summon the greater police of this fine city!"--that surely would convince this man that she were righteous and totally not setting cars on fire.
	Typhoid Mary freezes at the sound of Deadpool SCREAMING her name in that way of his. In that WAY he has. And her shoulders hunch higher. She grits her teeth, still tasting the aspirin and coffee in her mouth, and slowly turns to see him tossing thermite grenades at people...without the pins.
 
	"YOU FUCKIN' MANIAC," she hollers as she dives for cover.
 
	"NOT EVERYONE HAS YOUR HEALING FACTOR, NUMBNUTS!" she yells from behind her blockade...which is one of those not-very-safe newspaper holder things that people always cheat by propping it open for others to take them for free.
 
	Her fingerless gloved hands grip the outsides of it while she squats behind it, waiting for the worst to happen. She glances at Tabitha, walking toward the diner, boisterously fibbing. "I'd take cover if I were you," she yells at the girl who's now standing in the general direction of one of the sailing grenades.
Loki turns an even look towards Moon Knight, his tones deadpanned, "What do you mean?" As if this happens every day. Even if it's not of his accord, Chaos (with a capital C) is his purview, and he's always happy when it happens. After all, one never knows what can come of it that will benefit him.
Oh look.. like this--
Grenade?
Loki looks at the item that he instinctively catches, and there's what seems to be an eternity before reflexes come into play and he tosses it behind him- into the little dive.
With a *FOOM!* that is only seen in movies and comic books, there is an explosion -out- and the concussive force pushes Loki forward.
So much for the phone call... 
As Deadpool begins flinging his grenades, Moon Knight is diving out of the way, tossing a crescent dart at the guy he assumes to be EVIL. "Bad choice, pal.". He's grasping his truncheon, splitting it into chucks, as he runs towards the Pool, speaking towards Tabitha. "If you're some sort of hero, help me out here.".
Tabitha, still oblivious to the grenade, listens to Typhoid Mary as it sails by her head. She's wondering where there might be 'covers' (magazine covers? cover bands?) that she could swipe. She hears Moon Knight's pleas from behind, and spins around, racing towards him. Yes. Hero, she was more than a superhero... she was a 'superb-hero'. The grenade flopped into a gutter on the street, falling into the sewer, followed by an explosion. Tabitha, being used to random explosions, mostly ignored it.
She marched up between Moon Knight and Deadpool, standing between them. Also, she was putting on a show for Loki, who she still thought owned the exploding diner, and she wasn't letting this white-suited stain-collector guy get *any* of the credit.
"Alright, you ruffians!" Tabitha announced, sounding Shakespearean, "Might I have unto thee a smite of might for thou art intruding upon the patrons of this fair-thee-well domain!"--she hoped she got the verbiage right, and smiled proudly.
 
"Woah, nunchucks! I see you and raise you a FLASHBANGTOTHEFACE!" Deadpool flings three of those microbangers at Moon Knight's face and charges forward, katanas crossing in a fierce X before he ducks and pivots into a lashing spin, aiming high and low simultaneously. Deadpool is very, very good, and very quick. And it's not nightime. And he's not using pussy non-lethal methods! 
"It's your own fault Mary!" Deadpool hollers over his shoulder. "/I/ joined Weapon X and got my brain fried and went insane and then had a healing factor that might be a cosmic curse, so /I/ get to live forever! You can sit there and be all vulnerable to fire and critical hits and stuff! Y'know... and be hot! Like you are." 
"Sexy, I mean. Not on fire. I-" He's brought up short by Tabitha's interdiction, not even able to swing his katanas properly Damn, that woman types quickly. I'm sure as hell not rewriting this pose. "Wait, we're doing what now?" he asks, looking confused. He peers at Moon Knight, then strikes a dramatic fencer's pose. "En Guarde! Have at thee, villain!" he declares, waving his katana in Moon Knight's general direction. "Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of /elderberries/."
<OOC> Moon Knight says, "Wait what the hell just happened"
 
I was gonna pose an attack and then Tabitha posed getting in the way, so I guess you got flash-banged, but Deadpool didn't actually swing at you. And I'm not rewriting that pose because I'm laaaaaazy.
So very, very lazy.
<OOC> Moon Knight says, "Thank you, white notes! Yellow notes, you're lame."
Your mom is lame.
Moon Knight's mom, for the people reading the log of this.
	As the grenade from Loki's position explodes inside the diner, the glass in the windows blast out in millions of tiny, cutty shards, and rain down over Typhoid Mary as she crouches behind the newspaper dispenser. She curses under her breath as the screaming inside begins in earnest. The police are gonna be here any minute, now. Fuckin' fire department. Fuckin' ambulances. GODDAMMIT, does she hate the sound of sirens. It just makes her eyelid twitch in that dangerous way.
 
	Slowly, ominously, she peers around the "safe" corner of the dispenser to /glare/ at Deadpool, who was now being accosted/addressed by the douchebag in a gadget-y suit and the girl who clearly has little regard for fire and explosions and shit. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," can literally be heard coming from Mary's direction as she watches the flashbangs go off in Moon Knight's face, and sees the katana brought out, and hears Python being quoted. "GODDAMMIT, I HAVE A HEADACHE," she grouses.
Well, if Loki is the owner of the diner, he just blew it up with the grenade and it's Gone. Messily. There are people still 'within' and no doubt they're either bleeding or dead.. and various states in between.
The patrons, those who can walk, run or hobble, are doing just that to get out of the place. Blood, scratches and bruises are welling. There is crying, screaming, wailing.. and some are quiet. Walking like zombies in their reaction to shock.
Off in the distance, the wail of sirens.
Loki stands up from the concussive blast, dusts himself off, and looks at Tabitha, his brows rising in askance. Really?
"Fiddlesticks," Tabitha said with a grunt, hearing the sirens in the distance, "Stupid responsible police." She raised her volume again, however, because she was sure that this play hadn't reached it's Act III. 
"Whence thine time hath come, the patrollers and corroborators are en route to apprehend thy malicious manners!" Tabitha declared, flailing an articulated gesture to a non-existent audience, who would totally be clapping if they were. "Turn thine-selves upon the mercy of thart juries and councilmen, so thy might be judged with judicious intent!" Tabitha was pretty sure she nailed it, and expected Moon Knight and Deadpool to lay down their arms and get into handcuffing position.
The flashbangs explode in Moon Knight's face, causing him to startle and fall back. "Villain? You're the guy tossing the fucking grenades everywhere, I'd say you're the villain. And who the hell are you talking to? /I'm/ the crazy guy here. At least, I think. Judges? Judges are in, four votes on yes.". Moon Knight lifts himself up, putting his truncheon away. "And now there's some weird Shakespeare shit going on I have no fucking idea what to do.".
 
"Said your MOM!" Deadpool shouts in Typhoid Mary's general direction. He cackles gleefully, then goes back to dancing around Tabitha. "c'moooon, move already!" he demands of the woman. He gives her a little prod in the buttocks with the tip of a katana. "I wanna fight this guy and you're doing Shakespeare in the park!" Completely unprofessional. I agree. I hate interlopers. 
"All right, look, I'll make this easy," Deadpool offers to Moon Knight. 
"FLASHBANGTOTHEFACE!" 
Deadpool hurls the little explosives at Moon Knight, then disappears in a static sparkle. He reappears right behind the Lunar Loser Self high-five! and tries to give him a quick kick in the butt. "This is just a big giant bucket of crazy!" he declares. "Is it weird that Loki is the most balanced person here? Hi Loki!" he says, waving a sword enthusiastically at The Trickster. "I think you might be my dad! Also my alt needs some RP with you! Because, y'know, you kind of fail at ruling Asgard, and I think he can help you with that! It's not like Thor's even all that active, you could /totes/ take the place over!" 
"Wait, that's OOC knowledge. Sorry!" he shouts again. "Forget what I said!"
...Tha fuh..? As the archaic and totally bogus language trips lightly out of the careless girl's lips, like she practiced that shit in the mirror when no one was around, Typhoid Mary slowly rights herself and begins shaking the shards of glass from her dreads. She flaps her leather jacket to aid in the freeing herself of itchy, scratchy, cutty pieces of glass--and, in so doing, reveals her breasts, only the shame-buttons covered by taped on black X's. Does she give a fuck? Newp.
 
	"What the shit is going on, here?! Wade. WINSTON. WILSON!" she barks.
 
	Wait. Loki? Like, Loki-Loki? From Asgard Loki? Or was it Vanaheim? Mary read a lot of Norse mythology, once. How much of it was true is, well, hard to decipher. Trickster, check. Might be Deadpool's father, eh, check? Still, she keeps her distance from him as she starts stalking toward Deadpool. "Do you hear those sirens, Wade, darling?" she asks in a too-sweet voice.
Tabitha 'eep!'-jumped when she felt the pointy-poke in her booty, and then blinked for a few seconds when Deadpool straight-up disappeared. She wasn't used to that. Then she heard him from behind, and spun around. "What? You guys wanna MONKEY AROUND?" she said, indignantly, because they weren't preparing themselves to be arrested like she's so-clearly expressed in her last likely-nobel-winning, poetic treatise. "Welcome to the MONKEY HOUSE!" she shouted at them, and threw her hands in their direction, open-palmed. Two pink balls of energy flipped out of them, each targeting the chest of Moon Knight and Deadpool, set to explode. She was sure that this was going to teach them all of the lessons.
Sadly, one of the crazy guys is right. Loki -is- being the most balanced of them all. And has (arguably, of course) caused the most death even if not the most in property damage. That is fine with him. After all, chaos is chaos, and he'll be using this to advantage, though first is the final identification of the other 'players' here. He'll need that for later.
Okay, there's one. Wade Wilson.
"We'll discuss that. At a later time." A much later time.
But, the sirens. They're getting closer, and with a baleful glance at the skeleton of a VW now, he exhales and shakes his head sadly. "Waste of time."
And now.. the girl is attacking? Heh.. not him.
Smart girl.
More flashbangs, more Moon Knight startling, a kick in the ass! "WHAT THE FU-". Moon Knight is swivelling after this, redrawing truncheon and /smashing/ it towards Deadpool, the shot that was going towards his chest hitting his back now, sending him flying. And then there's the sirens. "I do not need this. God damn it, what the hell is wrong with this city?"
Deadpool parries furiously as Moon Knight slashes at him, then GACKS and falls over, limned in pink fire. "Ow! Ow Ow ow! If only there was an after school special I had learned as a kid to help with this precise situation of being on fire!" 
"Oh wait, there totally was!" He rolls back and forth until the fires go out, then from his back, produces those compact little automatic pistols and unloads a burst of automatic fire at Moon Knight and Tabitha, howling joyously at the clatter of brass and the report of gunfire. 
"Buuuurn baby burn!" he declares. He kips to his feet, kicking his katanas into his grasp again, and keeps a gun aimed at everyone. "Oooh, Mary, you know just how to get my attention," he cheers the woman. "Diabolic strippergram en route! Clear away everyone, she's gonna drop it like it's hot!" 
Deadpool teleports near Mary and starts throwing fifty dollar bills at her. "Drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot, I'ma gonna haunt your dreams," he sings, making it rain all up inz.
"Holy balls of Jesus!" Tabitha squeals, and scrambles behind a nearby dumpster when Deadpool starts shooting. She dives behind the large, green, conveniently-@emitted bulk, panting. It was at this a special, stray, strange, non-alliteration-riddled thought occurred to Tabitha: someday, it was possible, she might die. Shaking this off, she shouted from behind the dumpster, her voice partially muffled by all the noise. 
"Yo! Totally sorry for trying to kill you! Still buddies?" While not having actually practiced her Shakespeare in the mirror, Tabitha had definitely been practicing her diplomacy, and this time, she was sure this was going to work. "I'll buy you some onion rings. Promise!"
And a 'Mary'.
"Right. Before the police arrive, I'll make my exit." After all, Loki is 'wanted', though the regular metropolitan police know enough not to approach him. Last thing anyone needs is an appearance of, say, Captain America or Iron Man. At least he doesn't need one. Couldn't care less about the others.
The gunfire? Still not concerned, though there is the distinct possibility of collateral damage- like that woman holding what is probably her boyfriend in her arms, rocking and crying back and forth. Oops?
As Moony is shot with bullets, they hit his armor, though the shock still causes him to stumble. "Fuck this, this is insane, even for ME.". He's grappling up to a roof, trying to escape all the crap going on. Yes, a true hero would go and kick Deadpool's ass. But, Khonshu will let him off. Hopefully.
 
	Halting briefly in her stalking when Tabitha sends pink firesplodies at Moon Knight and Deadpool, Typhoid Mary casts a quick, surreptitious glance at Loki-Loki over her shoulder. Is he advancing? She's gotta keep her 6 covered, 'cause she might have delusions of grandeur from time to time, but she's no match for a trickster god and she's not in condition to see if this dude's really that god or just some schmuck named after him. Seeing that he isn't coming up behind her like the proverbial boogy man, her head whips back at the sound of gunfire.
 
	"Goddammit, Deadpool. Wouldya wrestle your crazy for a minute and realize that the po-po is about to be here?!" she yells, as he teleports nearer to her, flicking $50s at her, and halting her advance once again. "We gotta get outta here, crazypants!" she says, tucking some of the errant fifties down her waistband. She watches the one dude beat a hasty retreat, while Loki also wisely makes his departure. The explodie girl behind the Dumpster, promising onion rings. "Seriously, we need to get outta here, like, NOW," she grabs Deadpool's suit at the lapel-area, and tugs. "GO, GO, GO. Hide and seek from the Po-Po!" she tries.
 
"Ok! Besties! Call me!" Deadpool shouts at Tabitha. "Onion rings on you!" He looks a bit taken aback as Mary grabs him, ignoring Moon Knight's departure. "Woah, hey there hot stuff," he leers. "Anything for you. Let's pop outta here and see where the evening takes us." 
He fires off a burst of ammunition at Moon Knight. "I was totes lying about ignoring your escape! Eat some more bullets!" he shouts at the departing anti-hero. 
"Let's see if this teleporter will tango for two," he adds, bobbing his eyebrows at Mary. He clutches her close and activates it.
Tabitha gets her cracka-ass outta dodge.. huffing it on foot. "No fucking chicken," she grumbles, "no fucking waffles," she continues, "no fucking syrup," she continues, "no fucking end to this sentence," she continued. And she was right--because, even though this pose was reaching its end, the morning did continue for Tabitha, and she continued to ramble to herself for the next 17 blocks. She checked herself into a burrito shop and took a nap in the restaurant's booth for about five hours.
	Success! Of a sort. Typhoid Mary's managed to attract Deadpool's attention at least enough to get the fuck outta this situation. Fuckin' grenades! Goddammit! And, now, Wade's eye-mask is giving her that all-too-familiar leer. "Yes. Out of here. Let's," she agrees quickly, double-fisting his suit.
 
	"Forget the douchebag in the gadget-y suit, whatever his name is, no more gunfire, more teleporting!" She closes her eyes and hopes for the best. If Deadpool's not sure something will work, she might end up splinched or some shit from Harry Potter world.
kerZAP!
Deadpool and Mary, exeunt stage center.
"STOP SHOOTING AT ME, DAMN IT!" Moon Knight shouts, sliding forward to escape the bullets. This day was fun. Okay, not really. "I need a new line of work." And then he's escaping back to Jake's car.
Count this as the first, no second time that chaos has happened around him and he's not the originator. The first, well, she was a self-styled 'Goddess of chaos', but the attempt, in his book, was weak. This is, now, the second. And all are mortals!
Impressive.
Of course, Loki will no doubt get either the credit or the blame, depending upon who is the one that discovers that he was in the area when it happened? The staccato of gunfire gains a shake of his head, and he drops his hands into his pockets of the Midgardian coat that he wears over his decidedly Midgardian suit (even if he's not affected at all by the cold), and walks away. Not the most remarkable of exits, but it does allow the God of Chaos those bits of randomness as he passes... a car accident with a police car and a Smart Car in an intersection- with fatalities (who know either of them could get to speed?), or a truck that happens to spill its goods all over the road before an ambulance is due through only seconds later?
It'll be on the evening news.
Category:Log