Around the World in 80 Days (2004)/Trailer transcripts

This trailer exists in three variants: a full-length version used for the theatrical release, a home video variant of the theatrical version, and a shortened home video trailer. The following transcript is for the full theatrical version. Any revisions made for the later versions will be marked appropriately.
==Trailer==
Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan) opens the doors to his laboratory and whistles, activating the lights. Lau Xing (Jackie Chan) walks in, impressed.
:Lau Xing: It turns on with a whistle.
:Phileas Fogg: It was going to be a clap, but I felt my hands were put to far better use working on this. (Cut to...) A machine that will allow man to fly.
Lau Xing whistles, turning the lights off.
:Phileas: Please don't do that.
We fly past the Walt Disney Pictures and Walden Media logos, then to our two heroes testing Fogg's flying machine.
:Announcer: Inventor Phileas Fogg was a dreamer...
:Phileas: By my calculations, I could travel around the world... (Lau Xing flies off and hits a telephone pole, then we cut to Phileas before a court) in eighty days.
:Announcer: (As the noblemen laugh) But nobody believed in him.
:Lord Kelvin (Jim Broadbent): Well, then, Fogg, a wager: if you give up, you must never invent again.
The music stops.
:Phileas: I'll take your wager!
Zoom out to a map of the world.
:Announcer: This June... / On Disney DVD & video... / Coming to Disney DVD...
Multiple quick cuts or fades to different scenes occur over the next two lines.
:Lord Kelvin: We're going to stop Fogg by any means necessary!
:Announcer: ...a man who has always lived life by the book...
Cut to a scene of our two protagonists.
:Phileas: You really believe we can succeed?
:Lau Xing: Yes.
More shots of them traveling the world.
:Announcer: ...has 80 days to prove just how far his imagination can take him.
:Phileas: We will make history... (Cut to...)
:Prince Lapi (Arnold Schwarzenegger): GET THEM!
:Announcer: ...or we will die trying!
In France, Lau Xing crashes against a statue, startling Phileas and Monique Laroche (Cécile de France).
:Phileas: Very impressive. I'd have let go by now.
We cut to the map again, and see more film clips.
(This next section is only seen in the long versions.)
:Announcer: Now...
:General Fang (Karen Mok): Your journey ends here. (She and Lau Xing fight)
:Announcer: ...he'll have to face his fears... (Wong Fei Hung [Sammo Hung] growls at Phileas, who faints)
:Phileas: This is what happens when you leave your home.
:Colonel Kitchener (Ian McNiece): Ay contraire!
:Phileas: You meet... people!
Lau Xing slams the door in Kitchener's face. It goes from bad to worse for Kitchener as he hits his head on the overhead compartment, slips on a frying pan, and falls out the window. Lau Xing pulls his socks off as he falls.
:Lau Xing: Sorry!
Back to the map
:Announcer: ...and he'll have to find the courage...
:Lord Kelvin: Where are they now? (Cut to...)
:Inspector Fix (Ewen Bremner): They're traveling across China.
:Phileas: Your silly graces don't frighten me. (A sword blade pops out at him) Alright, it's not silly.
Back to the map yet again
:Announcer: ...to discover his destiny.
(End of the deleted section.)
:Phileas: I'm seeing the world, (working on my flying machine,) and learning of new cultures! (Crossfade to Phileas, Lau Xing, Monique, and Prince Lapi in a hot tub)
:Prince Lapi: Miss Laroche stays to be my wife, wife #7.
:Monique: You have seven wives?
:Prince Lapi: One for each day of the week. (The music stops, and he puts his arm around her) Do Tuesdays work for you?
As Phileas and Lau Xing look at Lapi, dumbfounded, the music changes to the theme from Dinosaur, and more film clips play out
:Announcer: (This June,) Walt Disney Pictures and Walden Media present...
:Phileas: I risked everything, my entire life's work.
:Lau Xing: For something you believe in, nothing could make more sense than that.
:Announcer: ...a story about how far you can go... (Lau Xing, Phileas, and Monique are now in the Wright Bros.' [Luke and Owen Wilson] test plane)
:Lau Xing: Mr. Fogg, are you sure?
:Phileas: NO! (The rope is cut, and off they go)
:Announcer: ...when you chase your dreams. (The music switches to Sugar Ray's "Fly," and the logo zooms out onto the screen) Around the World in 80 Days.
Cut back to China, with Lau Xing fighting off a bunch of samurai
:Phileas: Watch out on the right. No, no, my right. (One of them kicks Lau Xing in the groin)
:Lau Xing: STOP HELPING ME!
:Phileas: Sorry!
Over a shot of the plane is either "JUNE 2004," an URL, and a copyright notice, or "COMING SOON TO DISNEY DVD & VIDEO," depending on the version being watched. It suddenly zooms in, ending the trailer.
Category:Trailer transcripts