Recap 12

Adrian's Journal, 1472 DR, Day Twelve in Barovia:
We waited in the side room for the specters or ghosts to come back. Kai was severely wounded so I dragged him across the counter. They appeared from the floorboards, Sevi and Sigmund were squaring off against one I saw Moger's blast miss and Dukus was ready to stab at one that rose next to him. One appeared as I was trying to get Kai away and took a swipe at me, damn.. I could barely keep dragging Kai those shadows seem to suck at my strength...
Just then a woman came in, her name was Esmeralda. She looked Vistani and was skilled with a rapier, I should try a learn a thing or two from her technique. A ghost took seemed to enter Sevi's body and Sigmund figured that out, it seemed he paid some attention at least in Mother's Lisa's classes about spirits, he was always paranoid about the spooky stuff. Too bad Sevi nearly cleaved Moger in two before we managed to knock it out of her.
After we dealt with the spirits we searched the side rooms. I found some surgical tools and we found a raven that seemed to like Kai. I also had a vision... of a nun with a holy symbol around her neck. An archaic sun symbol similar to other Morninglord imagery we have seen. Then, Esmeralda asked Moger and I to accompany her to her room. I was wary of her and asked the lads to keep an eye... I regret doing that, I'll explain later.
She is Vistani, when she was fifteen her parents found a boy of only twelve years. She was fond of the boy, his name was Arasmus but her parents served Strahd, they gave him to a vampire. She was haunted by the cries of the boy as he was given away. Years later, a man tried to kill her. He was an old man named Van Rickten, he explained that it was his son her parents gave to the vampire all those years ago. Always having remorse for what her family did she vowed to aid this Van Rickten as he was now consumed with the need to hunt vampires. She learned under him, he was skilled with the blade and the methods of hunting undead. They hunted the undead for years but had a falling out. Recently, she heard that he was hunting Strahd and tracked him to an abandoned tower. She came to the Abbot in search of more clues.
We agreed to aid each other in her mission, she will prove to be a useful ally and I found no lies in what she says. My heart is still wary though... She is a very... forward person. Inviting both Moger and I to her bed.
I thought about refusing but, after all this darkness in this place. I gave in to it, it was... surprisingly fun.
But...
SIgmund heard the noises and entered, just as I was about to orgasm he started reading scripture.
... I don't know what else to write honestly.
We took our rest, Kai had to chant along with Sigmund in order for him to make the holy water. This was totally unnecessary since the chant is a fabrication of Sigmund's but I think he just wants to convert someone really.
I worry about him, he needs to learn to blend in. 
During the night, I saw her again. The ghost of a nun... she led me outside and to the symbol of the Morninglord in the main hall. I opened it to find a secret compartment... I didn't want to steal...
Look, Lathander, I'm trying somewhat all right? I took the bolts but left everything else. These will help us survive, I'm not doing this because I enjoy stealing or anything... forgive me Mother.
I followed the ghost back to the garden, surely she'll guide me to something important.
Then, I was ambushed by wights. Is this punishment for 'fornication' like Sigmund calls it?
No that's silly, that's an old archaic view. There's nothing wrong with sex. Get out of my head Sigmund.
Ugh, I can't forget the sight of Moger as he reaches for that syrupy substance from his robe.
It was fun, nothing wrong with it, get over it. We're all consenting adults.
Anyways, I ran from the wights. All those years running as a kid in Waterdeep paid off. I followed the ghost to a grave marked with three roses and the name Petrovich the family of Lydia (Vallakovich's, the Burgomaster of Vallaki's widow) and the priest from Vallaki. It had a small three inch diameter indentation.
Surely the symbol I saw around her neck would fit, but the one in the Abbey is way too large.
I returned through a nearby window and in the morning I went to check on Ronin.
Ronin was unusual after his resurruction, I believe him to be paranoid... But regardless of that he had dark thoughts, he was going to give up on what's most important to him. He regretted coming here, he was losing his sense of discovery and the joy he had in it... I tried to remind him by giving him the cube again.
The thing is, everyone has darkness inside them. It gnaws at you and builds, Sigmund expects people to just be righteous and has a strict code of what's right and wrong. But, sometimes you need to let that darkness out. To listen to people's thoughts and accept things... I don't know, I don't want to follow a strict unforgiving God that blesses people like the Abbot. Surely there has to be a better way, to find a little joy in this dark place, to accept that sometimes it makes you feel dark... Let him join those sour Barovians, much good it does them to be holy and boring.
Esmeralda takes action, she didn't have to fight the undead but it came from empathy she had for that boy that was killed so long ago. So what if she enjoys a man, or two... or five. Who the fuck cares, I'd choose her over a priest that lives in a 'holy' way and stays indoors getting fat and useless any day. To live, to take action.
The Vistani, serve Strahd but try to find joy in life. Barovians, dour sour boring Morninglord lovers.
Eh... I'm neither I guess. I'm just Adrian Blackwater.
We're going to get Ronin back on his feet, set out of Krezk and head to the winery. So what if I enjoy sex... smoke... drink... a little theft here and there. This is a fight against the living and the dead, the light and the dark.
I am alive, I'm going to enjoy life and make sure the most good is done. Even if I have to dance in the shadows sometimes. It's worth it, live life to the fullest. Carpe diem, De morte, vitae.