Critters (Film)/Transcript

(A TV shows a cartoon of Sheriff Reilly arresting a thief. A woman is happy for him.)
Woman: Thank you, Sheriff! How can I ever repay you?
Reilly: No need. All in a day’s work for Sheriff Reilly!
(Reilly turns off the TV, mumbling to himself.)
Reilly: What I wouldn't give to have those days back...
(Reilly sighs, reading. Suddenly, a voice on his walkie talkie is heard)
Speaker: Sir, someone wants to see you… They say it’s an emergency… They’re in the kids room…
Reilly: I’ll speak to em….*picks up the phone* Hello, Sheriff’s Office, how may I help you?
Roger: I-I need you to c-come to my house… My f-father’s dead…
Reilly: We'll be right over...
(Ambulances and cop cars arrive. We see Katty the Wolf whimpering and grieving, while Murry the Frog and Roger look shaken.)
Katty: NOT MY HUSBAND! PLEASE, GOD, WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN ME?!
Reilly: What on earth happened here?
Roger: My... dad... was murdered!
Reilly: My goodness... (Reilly lifts the tarp to investigate, feeing slightly sick when he sees. Bartleby's skull has been bashed open like an egg, and his lower jaw is cracked) HOLY SATAN ON A BARBECUE! WHAT ON EARTH?!?
Katty: H-He… He didn’t come t-to b-bed last night… Th-Then I got complaints that the vents smelled awful… Wh-When I l-looked… (utterly breaks down in tears)
Reilly: My goodness… Prison is too merciful for the dork that did this…
Murry: (crying uncontrollably)
Reilly: (looks at the floor, seeing a trail of blood) Seems they dragged him to the vent…and cracked his skull open…breaking his jaw in the process.
Roger: Murry, show the nice detective your drawing of what you think the suspect looks like.
(Murry presents his drawing, still shaken by his father's death)
Reilly: Jesus... (looks at the sketch) We'll take this for evidence.
Roger: Please bring the man to justice...
Reilly: I will, kid... I will...
(Reilly gets another call)
Reilly: Hello? Sheriff speaking, who is this?
Lincoln: This is Lincoln... I need you to come quick...
Reilly: Wait a minute... Is this another murder case?!
Lincoln: (panicking) YES!
Reilly: Don't worry, I'm on my way!
(At the scene, Laurel's body is covered with a tarp.)
Lincoln: I swear, when I find who did this...
Reilly: Don't worry, we'll bring the sick nerd to justice...
(Cut to Reilly writing down a report)
(Might plan to finish the transcript)