Home Away from Homer/Quotes

:Homer: (to Ned) You wear a bathing suit in the bathtub?
:Flanders: Yeah, so I can't see my own shrinky-dink.
:Homer: Makes sense.
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:Lisa: I feel so much empathy for those villagers. They had to drink their own tears.
:Bart: I was so bored, I cut the ponytail off of the guy in front of us. (holds it to the back his head) Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and made $600 last year.
:Marge: Bart! Don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.
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:Bart: Mom, I don't want to read, it's the weekend.
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:Bart: I know what we can “Ask Jeeves.” Why does he suck?
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:Homer: Don't worry, I'll straighten things out with Coach Clay. We're good buddies. We play this game called "who can punch the softest" and he always lets me win.
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:(At the Kwik-E-Mart, Homer shows Apu the video)
:Homer: What a combination. Hot chicks and stupid Flanders.
:Apu: And you say Mr. Flanders remains completely ignorant of their...dot-kama sutra?
:Homer: Yep, and nobody's telling him. Not even his good buddy God! (Moe walks by holding a magazine)
:Moe: Boy, nothin' is sexier than still photos in a girly magazine. (sees the video) Hey, whaaat?
:Homer: Sensual, isn't it? (starts to laugh) And the best part is, stupid Flanders doesn't even know it's happening in his stupid house; hence my nickname, stupid Flanders!
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:Lisa: You've totally humiliated the best friend the Simpsons ever had.
:Homer: You're right, but you know who the real victim is here? Ned.
:Lisa: That's what we've been trying to tell you!
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:Lady: Winner of the Romanian Film Festival's Prestigious Golden Bucket... Holy crap, someone's actually calling!
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:Flanders: You softcore sophomores took advantage of my trustful nature and sullied the Internet by putting pornography on it! Get out!
:(The two hot chicks leave gloomily, they gasps and Ned shocks, too. Springfield citizens cheering together)
:Flanders: The whole town is laughing at me behind my back! (sighing) I guess you're the only real friend I have.
:Moe: Are you kidding? Homer's the one what wised us up to the sexy goings-on.
:Flanders: Homer, is this true?
:Homer: Ned, I had no choice. It was just so funny.
:Flanders: The Bible said: Cast your bread upon the waters! But all I got was a bunch of soggy bread.
:Homer: Hmmm, soggy bre--
:Flanders: Don't say it, Homer! This is not the time!
:Homer: --Ead...
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:Homer: What's this? (reading) Good-bye, Springfield,
:Ned: (voice over) The Flanders family has pulled up stakes. You have laughed at us for the LAST-DIDDLY-AST time!
:Homer: Last-diddly-ast?! (sobbing) Oh, he's gone! And it's all someone's fault! (He starts to cry, eating Ned's cookies)
:Marge: (on the window) Oh, I almost forget about Ned. (sniffing)
:Maggie: (laughs, then to the lens) You know what that means, Ladies and Gentlemen, He is gone to Humbleton. Yeah.
:Marge: Well, Homer, you've driven away the best neighbor a family could ever want.
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:Bart: (while reading "Gay Focus") Mom, am I a butch or a femme?
:Marge: (Not listening) Honey, you can be anything you want to be.
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:Marge: What language is this? Gibby-gabby?
:Lisa: It's Albanian. But the producers added subtitles to make it commercial.
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:Katja: I'm Katja, and this is Vicky. We make much study at community college.
: Vicky: We're, like, here about the room. We moved out of our dorm because it's like, co-ed. Sometimes we saw the boys in their... (starts to cry) ...robes.
:Ned: You poor thing, I've heard about those robes. (shudder) Flapping everywhere! Girls, welcome to your very own Ned and breakfast!
:Katja: Silly talk means "yes"? (Ned nods. The girls smile and enter Flanders' home)
:Ned: Here's your room, ladies. You can catch some Z's while you earn those degrees!
:Katja: [giggling] You rhyme like Snoopy Dog.
:Ned: Well, thank you.
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: Vicky: Katja? Do you think everyone's watching?
:Katja: If they are, they will see us explore our sexhood without restraint.
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:Bart: Hey, this one of those dirty websites!
:Milhouse: Two girls? Who would want that? (The door knocks. The girls get back into their robes and pick up books)
:Katja: You may inside come. (Ned opens and holds some Cappuccino)
:Ned: I got two Cappuccinos for Ned's pre-meds.
:Bart and Milhouse: (shocked) FLANDERS?!?!
:Ned: That's odd. I guess I swore I just heard someone say my name.
:Bart: You heard nothing!
:Ned: Oh, oh, well, that's better! (Snap to black)
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:(Fade to Bart and Milhouse watching the video. Vicky spanks Katja's bottom with Rod's picture frame)
:Katja: Spank me again with little boy's picture! (Bart and Milhouse laugh while Homer bursts into the room)
:Homer: What are you kids laughing at? If you say Jimmy Fallon, I'll know you're lying. (gasps) Scantily clad co-eds?! Why you little! (strangles Bart) I'll teach you to have a libido!
:Bart: (yelling) Dad, look who's in there!
:Homer: (shocked) Flanders?! (Vicky holds a arrow sign reading "SEXY", Katja dances, and Ned brushes his teeth)
:Milhouse: He doesn't know it's happening!
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:(Homer knocks out Coach Roberts)
:Roberts: Why did you do that?! I was backing for mercy!
:Homer: I saw my advantage, and I took it. That's what heroes do.
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:Humbleton Citizen 1: (to Ned) Howdy, Humbletonian!
:Humbleton Citizen 2: Picnics and Pixie Stix!
:Humbleton Citizen 3: I'll see your smile, and raise you a wink and a giggle! (winks and giggles)
:Ned: (chuckles back) This town is sweeter than a cake made of pie. Even the dogs curb themselves!
es:Home Away From Homer/Frases