Whup-Ass Woman/Trailer transcripts

==Red Band Trailer 1==
(The trailer opens with the city of Atlanta, Georgia as the scene fades up to text that says "From Mike Judge" and then fades up to an accountant in Bank of America.)
Accountant: Welcome to Atlanta, Georgia, home of the peaches.
(The trailer cuts to text that says "The Creator of Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill and Office Space" and then the scene fades up to Downtown Atlanta and then fades up to text that says "Comes his next live-action feature" and then fades up to the World of Coca-Cola and then cuts to text that says "in this action comedy of the summer" and then cuts to a drug dealer named Dougray who talks to Kerry at the garage.)
Dougray (O'Shea Jackson Jr.): For $50, I'll squeeze your delicious milkers. (titters)
Kerry (Olivia Olson): Well, it's a great fucking price. It also makes me wish I had my breasts stuffed with skim milk.
Dougray: Oh, I'll take that as a yes.
(Dougray tries to drink Kerry's breasts but gets punched out by Kerry as he snores sleepily and then the trailer cuts to logos for Warner Bros. Pictures, MRC and Tencent Pictures and then cuts to Kerry, her boyfriend Nicky and her friends Harold, Audrey, Maria and Dave who ride on the van while the song plays "Stayin' Alive" by Avu-Chan.)
Detective Lizzie (Uzo Aduba): Kerry LeRoy, you've formed a group of people who has no crime-fighting skills unless you train them. What'll be your team name?
Kerry: I think it sounds complicated.
Nicky (Jaboukie Young-White): That doesn't sound complicated, that sounds colossal.
(The scene goes inside Bank of America as a mugger points a gun at two security guards.)
Security Guard: What the fuck?
(A mugger murders a security guard.)
Nicky: Someone out there is killing people of Atlanta.
(A mugger murders another security guard after he gasps and then the scene cuts to Kerry who plans to break into a mugger's secret hideout.)
Kerry: Once we find the mugger's secret hideout, we'll arrest him and send him to prison, and we'll be known as... the Whup-Ass Force.
(The song stops.)
Harold (Archie Madekwe): Doesn't that sound like a sexy thing? Oh, wait, it actually sounds good.
(The trailer goes to the orange screen as white text comes up: "This summer" and then the trailer goes to Kerry and her team who attend a funeral.)
Audrey (Keke Palmer): We're gonna catch these bastards who murdered those people.
(The trailer goes to the orange screen as another white text comes up: "Don't let them know" and then goes to a warehouse as the police clean up the massacre.)
Audrey: Before America becomes a fucking bloodbath.
(The trailer goes to the orange screen as another white text comes up: "Who the fuck you are" and then goes to Kerry, Nicky, Harold and Audrey at a hotel room.)
Kerry: You're one of the best damn heroes I've actually seen.
(The trailer goes to Kerry who talks to four thugs who try to steal a Corvette Stingray.)
Thug: Who the fuck are you?
Kerry: I'm Kerry LeRoy, and I'm the fucking leader of the Whup-Ass Force. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the premises, or I'll fuck your asses up.
Thug: Get that fucking bitch!
(Kerry uses her two nightsticks to beat up four thugs and then the trailer goes to orange screen as text comes up: "From the producers of 21 Jump Street, Bullet Train and Cocaine Bear" while the song plays "Tom's Diner" by Giorgio Moroder and Britney Spears and then scene goes to Kerry who rides on a motorcycle to go after Dennard who steals gold bars as she shoots her gun but Dennard deflects bullets with his sword and then the trailer goes to orange screen and text where it says: "Warner Bros. Pictures and MRC present" and then the trailer goes to Kerry who seems ready to do candy cocaine.)
Kerry: If shit gets crazy, I'm gonna get crazy as fucking shit.
Harold: (as he tries to kick the door open, his ankle hurts) Shit!
Nicky: Oh, my God, are you all right?
Harold: I think I hurt my fucking ankle.
Bozo (Jason Mantzoukas): Don't worry, it's just Smarties, honey.
Kerry: I'm not doing that shit.
Baldwin (Mamoudou Athie): Do it, bitch!
(Kerry snorts candy powder as she chokes and grunts as she falls unconscious and then the song stops.)
Bozo: Oh. Sorry about your dead girlfriend, Nicky.
Kerry: (wakes up and gasps) Whoo!
(The drug dealers cheer.)
Kerry: That tastes like cocaine!
Bozo: (chuckles) Well, fuck me, right?
Kerry: Maybe! (laughs)
(The trailer goes to the orange screen as the title comes up: "Whup-Ass Woman" and then the trailer goes to Detective Lizzie, Detective Heimlich, Detective Carter and Detective Samson who meet Kerry's mother, Athena as the song resumes.)
Detective Samson (Reg E. Cathey): Is Kerry in? (shakes hands with Athena)
Athena (Jamie Lee Curtis): She's in the shower with her boyfriend.
(The trailer cuts to Nicky who has sex with Kerry in the shower as she squeals and then cuts back to Detective Heimlich.)
Detective Heimlich (Patrick Warburton): Is that what I think it is?
(Kerry goes against the wall as Nicky humps her repeatedly.)
Nicky: Here I go.
(Nicky says the word four times as his semen comes out and drizzles all over the shower after the song stops and then Athena takes out a roll of paper towel until Nicky stops.)
Nicky: Oh, my God. I'm actually damn lightheaded.
Kerry: Oh, my.
(Suddenly, a door knocks as Nicky opens the door and takes a roll of paper towel from Athena.)
Nicky: Thanks, Athena.
Athena: Don't mention it.
(Nicky closes the door and the trailer goes to the orange screen as the text says "Only in theaters this summer" appears along with the logos for Warner Bros. Pictures, MRC and Tencent Pictures, end of trailer.)