Funny Quotes

Sorry I like making pages on this and I love to remember funny quotes!!! LOL I just heard one that was hilarious!!!!! "A chew toy?" "It's not a chew toy!" ~ I Am A Superstar!! :) (talk) 18:52, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
==Stefanie's funny Quotes she has heard==
Girl: Are you too lazy to hold it?
Xavier: Hold what?
Me: [thinking] Your penii!!!! LOLOLOL!
.........
Teacher: It's either a white eye or a no eye
Me: [thinking] how about a penii!! (lol idk why thats on my mind LOOOL!!!!!)
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2-2-13 (On the phone with Amie)
Amie: We once had a substitute who was Eli's aunt.
Me: Who? Ian? As in Ian Altwater?
Amie: What? NO! I said ELI! How did you get IAN out of ELI?
Me: Oh! Sorry! I SWEAR you said ian! Oh no i feel bad now! Oh nooo
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Mr. Aretz: Jessica and Kumari! Stop screwing around! If you want to screw around, do it at home!
Me: HAHAHA! That was hilarious! If you wanna screw around do it at HOME!!! :p
Teacher: [to me] I said...mess around.
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3-7-13
Xavier: *looks at the Magic 8 Ball the teacher has*
Becki: Stop shaking it!
Me: Oh my.... *giggles*
Becki: What? Are you having fun playing with that?
Me: Oh come ON!!!!!
Becki: WHAT!?
Me: You know me...come on....you said *laughs* stop shaking it! Playing with-
Becki: Stefanie you have such a dirty mind!
Me: I KNOW!!! :P *looks at xavier to see his reaction* LOL
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3-7-13
Chelsea: (talking about an eye dropper as part of the new assignment) You have to squeeze it until the liquid comes out...
Me: OH GOD!
Chelsea: Wha-Oh God Stefanie you need help....
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3-12-13
Me: *points to Elmo* Who is that?
Jyeer: Elmo!
Me: Right! *points to Big Bird* Who is that?
Jyeer: AJ! 
Me: WHAT! Hahaha! Your dad is not Big Bird!
Margaret: What did he just say?
Me: He said this is Elmo and he is AJ.
Margaret: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :p
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3-12-13
-*Me and Jyeer run into kitchen, and Rudy is there*
Me: Oh, hi!
Jyeer: Get outta here! GEEEET outta here!!
Me: HAHAHAHAHA!! GET OUT OF HERE HAHAHAHA!!
Rudy: *silent*
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
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3-13-13
-*Xavier accidentally puts the small SD card for the camera, into the big slot for CDs! Now it's stuck in the computer!*
Me: Oh no! You were not paying attention when you put it in! *smiles*
Kamari: Xavier knows all about 'putting it in.'
Me: HAHAHAHA!!!!! :p
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3-18-13
Cashier at lunch, Collette: I am so happy to see you get excited about school, and tacos!
Me: TACOS!!!!!!!!!!! 
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3-18-13
Mr. Aretz: -*looks outside* So, where is this Wintry Mix?
Me: Not here! HAHA MIX! Sorry, personal thing. :p
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3-19-13
Becki: Stefanie! Do you know....is Ranger on his man-period? Ya know...cuz he has been alone in the theory room all day?
Me: I don't know! I wish...I knew what is up with him lately. :|
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3-19-13
Me: Gee Jyeer is always climbing on everything!
Margaret: Well yeah! He's a boy! Are you a boy?
Jyeer: I'm a turtle! Hee-ya!
Me & Margaret: Hahahaha!!! :P
(he probably said this because he LOVES The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and just turtles in general!)
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3-20-13
Mr. Csensits: So, if the price of gas will go up 50 cents next week, what are you gonna do?
Luis: Start walkin'!
Mr. Csensits: Well, yeah you could but...that's not the answer I was looking for.
Luis: Drive to fewer places?
Mr. Csensits: NO! I am looking for 'I will buy gas this week before the price goes up!' Gee Luis you will come up with anything!
Me: -*laughs* lol
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3-22-13
-*Tashaila licks Anisha for some odd reason*
Anisha! Eww that's discusting! 
Me: She has no shame where her mouth goes!
-*Whole class laughs* 
Me: (thinks) wow they all thought what I said was funny!
Tashaila: Stefanie! Oh my God! That's really hurt my feelings! I am going to get you back for that one!
Me: (thinks) Oh, like you have not hurt me a few times!
(later)
Tashaila: Stefanie! Tell Kamari what you said about me!
Me: Are you sure you want me to repeat that? I said she has no shame where her mouth goes!
Kamari: Yeah! She wants to go downtown on Train X!
Tashialia: EWW! NO! That's gross! I do not!
Me: (thinks) I WANNA GO DOWNTOWN ON TRAIN X! HOW CAN I GET A TICKET!
Xavier: *smirks*
Me: Oh my goodness! Hahahaha! (thinks) they have no idea I wanna ride on Train X hahahaha! :p
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3-22-13
Sub: My name is Mr. Buss!
Luis: What? Did you say Mr. Puss?
Me: HAHAHAAH!
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3-22-13
Kamari: Anisha's nail polish is white! haha!
Me: (thinks) cum polish hahaha!
Me: (says) I get the joke Kamari!
Kamari: What joke? Gee Stefanie you have such a dirty mind! I am surprised! I did not know you were that exotic!
Me: Exotic? Good way of putting it haha!
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Mr. Aretz: Have a goood weekend!
Me: I am kinda glad it's Friday but...I don't want break!
Mr. Aretz: You don't want break?
Me: Ya know! The Easter Break! 
Mr. Aretz: Then... whatdoyawant?
Me: I want school! I WANT SCHOOL!
Mr. Aretz: Sorry...only 2 days next week.
Me: Noooooooooo!
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teacher: every time my kids see those golden arches they know it's McDonald's
me: golden arches? haha it's a big yellow M.....thats it to me haha
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3-28-13
-*At Weis, my mom & I look at the chocolate bunnies they have for Easter*
Me: What the heck! This is sh*t! Sir do you have any more of these? This one has no flower, and this one is missing an eye!
Employee guy: He's handicap! Cut his legs off we can put him in a wheelchair then he'd be a disabled bunny!
me: Hahahaah!!! :P
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4-2-13
[I am at Jyerr's house, and he is looking at a picture of his older brother with the Easter Bunny. He touched the frame, and I guess it poked his little finger and it hurt him a bit]
Jyerr: It get me! Get outta here little bunny! GET outta HERE little bunny!
Me: Hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Margaret: Jyerr stop saying that! He keeps saying it because you're laughing...
Me: I know but ya gotta admit that's pretty funny! He knows it's a bunny in the pic and it hurt him so he's telling him to 'get outta here.' Hahaha!
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4-9-13
(teacher catches Kamari on Google Maps instead of researching his photographer for the assignment)
Mr. Aretz: Oh, Kamari...so you're photographer you're doing lived in Allentown, hunh? What part?
Kamari: Uhh...Emmaus?
Me: FAIL! HAHAHAHA!
(Emmaus is not a part of Allentown it's two different cities entirely..LOLL idk how he did not know that...what a FAIL haha :p)
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4-9-13
Woman on Announcements: And we have a winner from Whitehall, Pa.
Me: Uhh where else would it be from? If they're at our school?
Becki: [sarcastically] Pa? Naw, I thought it was in Canada!
lol 
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4-10-13
(kid in the hall holds the door for me)
Him: (to his friend) Oh, I thought that was Kyle behind us!
Me: Nope! I'm not Kyle! Or Kenny or Cartman or Stan!
Kid: (stares blankly at me)
Me: You know...from South Park?
Him: Yeah I know but there's actually a kid in our class named Kenny too.
Me: Yeah I know him too but I referring to South Park
kid: Yeah I got it.
Me: Bye!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL HAHAHAHA if it were not for Ev I would have never even began to say anything like that hahaha :p
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4-11-13
Mr. Csensits: See this part here says it only applies to you if you live in Maryland or Massachusetts. Do any of you live there?
Kid: Yes!
Mr. Csensits: No.... -.-
Me: hahahaha!!!!
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4-12-13
Anisha: Xavier...who was that girl you were walking with today? 
Xavier: Uhh...I think there's only like 2 girls you could be talking about.
Anisha: She had maroon on...you and her were matching! I thought it was so cute! I thought, 'he should go out with her!'
Xavier: Umm...do you mean Jasmine?
Anisha: Yeah I guess it was her...
Xavier: Umm, that's my cousin!
Me, Anisha, Becki & Tashaila: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :p
Anisha: OH I didn't know! Well...if she's your 1st or second cousin you could go out with her if you wanted!
Xavier: No! That's weird! 
Me: Yeah that is weird hahaha :p
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4-17-13
Me: [to Xavier] Hey can you help me with this?
Xavier: Umm push it in?
Me: Push it in how? Oh! There I- oh, no it just came back out again.
Xavier: Try to push it in again?
Me: *does so* OH there it is!
(LOL there's this desk thiingy that came out and it hits your leg if it's down and someone from the previous class pulled it down so I asked him for help HAHAHA!)
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4-17-13
Mom: I was going to buy you cookies today, guess what they were called...
Me: Oh, noo...
mom: ian's cookies! I thought, "Oh I KNOW someone who'd like those!"
me: HAHAHAHAHA YES I WOULD! :P
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4-18-13
OMG SHE JUST SAID THIS
Tashaila: First Althouse, then Matthew...who's next? Ranger?
Me: Umm...I don't know...
Tashaila: That's be so funny if he started acting like, 'Um hi Stefanie!' and you'd say, 'Do you like me?' and he'd say, 'ehh'
Me: HAHA he always says that! HAHAHA
:o
o.......m......g...... *o*
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4-19-13
Becki: Aww isn't that pic so cute? They lived happily ever after?
Xavier: Wait a year...
Me: Hahahaha good point!!! :P
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4-19-13
Xavier: I downloaded Chrome to my computer, and it made it really slow so I can't use it.
Me: Ohh! So what browser do you use then?
Becki: Firefox?
Xavier: Noo.....
Me: Is it...Internet Explorer?
Xavier: Yeah, the basic one.
Me: Oh I have a friend who'd have a problem with that! *thinks of Evelyn* :P I thought you said you had a Windows 7?
Xavier: I do. That doesn't mean all the parts are new.
Me: Oh! Gotcha! :)
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4-21-13
Paul: If a turtle came into your room at 2 AM, crawled up the stairs, and crawled into bed with you...would you be prepared for that situation?
Me: Umm...
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4-21-13
Paul: You said your turtle stuffed animal was a guy...there's no dick there! It's a girl!
Me: I love him! Leave him alone!
Paul: It's a woman! A woman turtle! What are you, a gay turtle lover??
Me: NO! Hahaha!!
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4-23-13
Mrs. Diamond: *sigh* Stefanie...why are you late??
Me: Uhh I don't know....?
Mrs. Diamond: Because you live "oh-so far away"
[later]
Me: [to Amie] DANG IT! Why did I not say to her, "My mind kept telling me stories I wanted to hear." Ya know....dreaming?
Amie: She would not have taken that as an excuse anyways...
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.4-26-13
Ernesto: Stop touching me there! That's my penis!
Kaisy: WHAT! NO! I was pinching your leg!
Me: Hahahahahaha!!
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4-26-13
Desiree: Kaisy! It's National Be Nice To Mexicans Day!
Me: Haha good one!
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5-20-13
X: That's degrading to fries everywhere! :P
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5-23-13
Becki: (to X) Hey you hit me!
Me: *gets jealous* [mumbles] shut...up....about...it...
Becki: ?
Kamari: Are you OK? What the heck?
Me: *tries to avert conversation* YES I AM FINE! IT'S A DAILY THING!
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==evelyn==
*I
*I'm
*I'm M
*I'm Me
*I'm Mex
*I'm Mexi
*I'm Mexic
*I'm Mexica
*I'm Mexican
*I'm Mexica
*I'm Mexic
*I'm Mexi
*I'm Mex
*I'm Me
*I'm M
*I'm
*I
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me: i'm thirsty
mom: here, have my water
me: eww no! spit!
mom: honey, u came out of my vagina, i think i can share a cup with u.
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dad: (at sam) i am not going down there to listen to this guy moan! 
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(i guess we were all just in a silly mood when this happened lol)
*bethany and i turn around to talk to hunter*
bethany: are you an optimist or a pessimist?
hunter: what the f**k does that mean??????
*bethany and i headbanging with laughter*
me [whispering to bethany]: he doens't know what either of them mean.
bethany: an optimist looks to the positive side of tihngs,a nd a pessimist does the opposite.
hunter: uhhhh.. i'm white.
*more laughter*
LOL!
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(ok so i was just walking into gym for for some odd reason we were asked to keep our original clothes on and not change into our gym clothes) 
me: [to madeline] WHY ARE OUR CLOTHES STILL ON???
tis then i realized that sounded wrong. XD (especially considering you-don't-know-who is in that class) 
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madeline: [to teacher] do you have any tips as to what a peer could do for our freetime who doesn't want to play sports?
teacher: don't worry sweetie, you wont get hurt.
*bailey runs up to teacher*
bailey: MY FINGER'S BLEEDING!
hahahahhahahhaha!
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me: What's your favorite type of cheese?
Madeline: White cheese mostly, if that qualifies.
Me:  Better than black cheese.
*awkward 5 seconds of silence*...
*awkward 5 seconds of hysterical laughter* 
Haha!
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*Me, walking into the nurse's office from lunch to take me medicine, and this is the first thign I hear*
One of the gym teachers: ...Stupid kids.
Me: *thinks* thank you for the warm welcome.
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Sam: Do you have any cheetoes?
Me: Nope.
Sam: doritoes?
Me: nada.
Sam: Cheez-its?
Me: negative.
Sam: ANY kind of cracker-like food?
Me: Sorry, but n-
Mom: We have strawberries!
Nice derp, mom. 
==Spaceballs Quotes==
*Dark Helmet: "Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Star."
Lone Star: "What?"
Dark Helmet: "I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."
Lone Star: "So what does that make us?"
Dark Helmet: "Absolutely nothing, which is what you are about to become. Prepare. To. Die."
*Dark Helmet: "Careful, you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!"
Cross-eyed gunner: "Sorry, sir. I'm doing my best."
Dark Helmet: "Who made that man a gunner?" 
Major Asshole: "I did, sir. He is my cousin."
Dark Helmet: "Who is that guy?"
Colonel Sandurz: "He is an asshole, sir."
Dark Helmet: "Well, I know that, but what's his name?"
Colonel Sandurz: "That is his name, sir: Asshole. Major Asshole."
Dark Helmet: "And his cousin?"
Colonel Sandurz: "He is an asshole, too, sir. The gunner is a 1st-class, pillid asshole."
Dark Helmet: "How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?"
Everyone: "Oi!" [Raises hands]
Dark Helmet: "I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!" [Closes face shield over face] "Keep firing, assholes!"
Category:Stefanie's Pages
Category:Awesome