Blood 20

Chapter 20
Richard is relieved to be alone. “He was weary of people standing ready to jump should he command it . . . they had been apprehensive about having him along, seeming to fear that he would strike them down with magic should they fail to find Brogan's trail. [. . .] It unnerved Richard to be surrounded by people who held him in such awe.”
This is the same Richard who, just a day ago, declared his intent to conquer the known world after virtually kidnapping the leadership of the Midlands; who, prior to that, demanded that every D'Haran in the city bow down and worship him for two hours while he stood there and glared at them. This humility rings false. It makes sense for a humble woods guide, but Richard has never acted like a humble woods guide.
Berdine pops in again, and informs Richard that Duchess Lumholz is here to see him. Richard doesn't what to see her, but Berdine, remaining uncharacteristically bitchy, informs him that he will see her. Before matters can escalate too much – or Richard can begin to guess that maybe all is not well within the House of Berdine – Duchess Lumholz herself shows up, and Richard does this:
I exaggerate, but only slightly. Here are a few choice lines:
“He stood mute for a moment, gazing at her soft brown eyes, her curvaceous red lips, and her thick mane of black hair, ringlets of it framing her flawless, glowing face.”
“Dizzy, he drew breath . . .”
“He didn't remember the duchess looking like this, possessing such pure, captivating elegance . . .”
“Richard blushed [. . .] His heart was thumping so hard he feared she would be able to see the veins in his neck throb.”
So. Yeah.
Richard and Lummy chat pointlessly for a while, each flattering the other, with Richard acting like a dazzled schoolboy and Lummy buttering him up. Lummy drinks some of Richrd's tea, and then reveals that she herself is next in line for the throne of Kelton with the death of Prince Fyren and his wife, and Duke Lumholz. She thus has the power to surrender Kelton to him.
This segues seamlessly into a discussion of domestic violence, imperialism, and moral relativism. Yeah, it's totally seamless. I shall spare you all this particular half-page of nonsense, and just note that the battered, traumatized woman is described thus: “Her smile had a hint of merry scolding in it.” This from a woman who claims to have been terrified that Richard would have her beheaded for wanting to come see him.
\~/ Women, Goodkind does not understand them.
And sure, we readers know that Lummy is under a spell and this is all undoubtedly part of Brogan's evil plan, mwuh-ha-ha. That doesn't change the fact that her reactions are alien to her alleged background. If anything, she should be even less inclined to “merry scolding” due to the conflict of her magically-compelled orders, her actual history with the Duke (whatever that may have been), and her very legitimate fear of Richard.
Lummy says that she's willing to surrender Kelton, on one condition. Richard says that there can be no conditions: he's demanded unconditional surrender from everyone, and he can't make exceptions. Lummy grovels and begs for forgiveness, referring to Richard as “a man of honor” and herself as “a mere woman.” She tells Richard that Duke Lumholz was killed by a Mister, describing how the blood splattered onto her. She elaborates on how she had to “tear that dress off my body and wash the blood from my naked flesh,” and how she sleeps naked since then.
I'm not taking a drink for this, as it's not quite “sexual for no good reason.” Lummy is clearly trying to seduce Richard, and doing an implausibly good job at it.
Lummy says that she's terrified of the Misters, and wants to be placed under Richard's personal protection. Richard says that's not a condition, just a favor, and grants it instantly. Lummy expresses relief, and asks Richard to call her Cathryn (but I shall continue to call her Lummy).
Then they have dinner together, and said dinner involves an awful lot of licking, sucking, nibbling, and references to breasts, legs, tongues and lips. I'm not going to quote it (you're welcome), but I am taking a couple of drinks. If you're interested in a page of Lummy eating sexily in an effort to seduce Richard . . . well, I'm sure there are websites for things like that. \~/\~/
Eventually, dinner ends and Lummy wants to know “which room is yours?” Richard heads out into the hall and orders the Dominatrices and the Aryan Boys to stand guard all night, then shows Lummy to a room, saying he'll take the room next door. Lummy tries, rather pathetically, to get him into her room, but to no avail.
Richard retires to his own room, wondering why he's so attracted to Lummy. Naturally, he does the only logical thing: he gets out the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo and lets “the wrath inundate him. He felt its fury storm through his soul, and hoped it would be enough.”
Drinks: 3
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