I'm with Cupid/Quotes

:Captain McCallister: (to Apu) Thanks for delivering these copies of Jugs. They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...for about ten minutes!
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:Homer: Not if I can help it, and help it I might!
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:Apu: (praying) Good rice, good curry, good Ghandi, let's hurry!
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:Homer: (reading cards) "I cherish you, my precious." Hmm... Nah. "To a heck of a blacksmith." Nah, I already got him one. "You're a-peeling. Let's never split!" (laughs) It's funny 'cause they're monkeys!
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:Bart: And thank you, God, for the bad things adults do, which help distract people from what I'm doing.
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:Marge: That's too bad, mister. I'm not gonna bail you out this time.
:Bart: You're right, Mom. I understand.
:Marge: Alright! I'll get you the materials. But you're building it!
:Bart: Okay.
:Marge: Oh, I'll make the whole thing! 
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:Marge: You're a lifesaver, Apu. All the other stores are closed.
:Apu: At 11:30? But this is the peak hour for stoned teenagers buying shiny things!
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:Homer: Hey! You with the scarf! Stop skywriting!
:Skywriter: I have to deliver a message. It's the skywriters' code!
:Homer: I am so sick of that damn code!
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:Homer: Oh, I'm never eating chili again. Ooh, chili!
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:Homer: Mr. John, I'm your biggest fan. I tape-recorded all your songs off the radio.
:Elton John: Oh, that's very sweet. Have a Grammy. (produces one from nowhere)
:Homer: Uh… (throws it in a garbage can)
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:Ned: Aw, gee, the man's just trying to show his wife he cares for her. How can we sabotage his labor of love?
:Homer: I don't know. Gasoline, acid, I got some stuff in the trunk.
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:Homer: Ask yourselves, people, who's to blame for all this?
:Dr. Hibbert: Well, I guess we are.
:Ned: I suppose I do take Maude for granted.
:(The rest of the men murmur in agreement.)
:Homer: Will you stop it! It's easy to blame ourselves, but it's even easier to blame Apu!
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:Homer: This Valentine's crap has gone too far!
:Male Crowd: Yeah.
:Skinner: Eh, Edna won't even let me clap her erasers.
:Sideshow Mel: My Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts!
:Moe: The gal I'm stalking had me bumped back to two hundred feet.
:Barney: Aw, Moe. That's too far.
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:Marge: What a lovely home.
:Manjula: Oh, you are too kind, Marge. I am sure you have noticed the many small imperfections that fill me with shame.
:Marge: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If anything, your home makes me ashamed of my home.
:Manjula: Well, let us just say we both feel bad.
:Marge: Deal.
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:Homer: Morning, Apu. Still in hot water with the squaw? 
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:Marge: (hearing Manjula and Apu arguing in Indian) Maybe we should leave.
:Homer: Uh, uh, no way. I don't wanna miss a word.
:Marge: You don't know, what they're saying.
:Homer: I'm picking it up. (listens closely) "Sala" seems to mean "jerk". I think "Manjula" means some kind of spaceship.
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:Apu: What an outfit! You are one ma-hot mama!
:Manjula: You think so?
:Apu: I could not let you in the store like that, because you are smoking!
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:Bart: (reading personals section of newspaper) "Successful mayor type seeks open-minded discreet cheerleader type."
:Marge: Oh, that's sweet!
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:Homer: I used to take out ads like that when we were newlyweds.
:Marge: The only ad you took out was to sell our lawn mower!
:Homer: We sold it, didn't we?