Stone 63

Chapter 63
Richard is sitting on the floor moping when Moley comes in. Moley wants to know about the nameless Mother Confessor that Richard said he would be marrying, thus explaining why Richard mentioned Kahlan's title but not her name. Moley asks if the Mother Confessor wears white, and Richard replies: “Yes. The Confessors are born to find the truth. She is the last one.”
Umm . . . what?
“Hey, was your girlfriend wearing a leather jacket last night?”
“Yes. She loves garlic bread. Her great-grandmother was Navajo.”
Thanks for the random extra information, Richard. Mind telling Moley her freaking name?
Moley thinks this is great, because there's a prophecy that indicates she will bring joy to her people. Richard quotes the prophecy Ghost-Kahlan gave him back in one of the Towers of Perdition, then tells Moley he received said prophecy in a vision, but can't share what the vision was of.
Moley warns Richard that “Hardly anyone knows this, but the words [of a prophecy] don't always reflect the true intent.” In other words, the phrasing of prophecies is often vague or misleading, and their exact meaning can only be established after the fact.
Hardly anyone knows that? \~/ I find that hard to believe, given that that's how 99.9% of prophecies – both real-world and fictional – work. 
Anyway, Moley says that he thinks “the true way prophecy is meant to be understood is through the gift, through the visions.” So . . . only the original prophet can ever know exactly what a prophecy means? And he . . . can't write it down in plain language, for some reason?
There's more chatter and Moley learns that Richard is a war wizard and what that means. Moley quotes another prophecy which is about as helpful as all the other ones have been. Eventually he mentions that “They have a prophet here, at the palace,” in one of the restricted areas. Richard immediately perks up and decides to go visit said prophet.
We cut to Richard, who has intimidated Guard Kevin into telling him where the prophet is located. Conveniently, Richard “knew where all the guards were stations because he had gathered white roses there, and had been up on the wall to 'look out at the sea.' “ The guards are also frequent guests at Richard's leased brothel. There are apparently three pairs of guards, and Richard bypasses the first two pairs by simply marching past them. Wonderful security this place has. The third pair of guards actually attempt to do their jobs and stop him, but Richard guilts the guards into letting him through by reminding them of all the stuff (and whores) he's bought for them.
Richard has this conversation with one hand on the hilt of his sword, and it's implied that if guilt doesn't work, he was going to murder both guards. For doing their jobs. \~/
Richard marches into the prophet's quarters, which are lush and expensive and awesome, and finally meets said prophet. This, of course, is Nathan. Nathan and Richard share some pointless banter, and we learn that Nathan wrote The Adventures of Bonnie Day, Richard's favorite book. Nathan and Ann, it develops, helped George Cypher steal the Book of Counted Shadows from Zedd, and Nathan gave George The Adventures of Bonnie Day for Richard to read when he was old enough. 
We also learn that Nathan's last name is Rahl. Dun dun DUN! This makes him Richard's many-many-times-great-grandsomething. 
Nathan says that he and Ann gave copies of Bonnie Day to “a few, special boys,” but all but Richard died in inexplicable accidents. Gee, it's a pity none of the others had a sorceress or two standing by to guard them!
Nathan says that he wrote Bonnie Day as “A primer of prophecy.” No, you didn't miss anything. We've seen no evidence of that, nor will we ever. \~/
After more chatter, Nathan says that the vision Richard had of Verna attacking him, and him killing her, was Richard's subconscious demonstrating that Richard could defend himself against a Nun.
Nathan finally offers to help Richard touch his force. After a short staring-into-each-others-eyes session, Richard conjures a small ball of fire. We learn that, while sorceresses (and presumably, other wizards) must manipulate the world around them with their Force, war wizards are Speshul. Specifically, instead of altering their surroundings with their Force, they “tap the core of power within themselves,” whatever that means. Life force? What? It's never explained where Richard and his ilk draw power from.
Furthermore, instead of touching his Force, a war wizard channels his power through RAGE!! Yes, really. More anger management issues for The Incredible Sue here. Just what he needed.
And lastly, we learn that there's no point in trying to teach Richard how to use magic. Why not? Because “War wizards don't watch; they just do. Their Han acts instinctively.”
Richard won't even need to learn any spells, because his magic is Speshul. And what do you want to bet Richard will conveniently be able to cast just the spell he needs, just when he needs it? Deus ex machina? What's that? \~/\~/
We then learn that Richard could have controlled his killer headaches all along by using his magic archery ability or any similar thing, because he was using his magic. Nathan says that it takes a male wizard to teach a male wizard, which is why the Nuns need hundreds of years to accomplish the same thing. He elaborates that the Nuns aren't trying to train wizards as much as they're trying to control them, believing that wizards are responsible for “all the evil that has befallen mankind.” If that's true, shouldn't they be trying to wipe out wizards, not breed new ones? \~/
Nathan then tells Richard Wizard's Second Rule, which is: “the greatest harm can result from the best intentions.” Man, that's a stupid rule. Nathan explains it a bit, and the gist of it is, do your best to be aware of all the potential results of your actions. In other words, look before you leap. Hey, what do you know, a much clearer and more concise way of saying the same thing!
Richard says that he thinks he violated Wizard's Second Rule when he defeated Darken Rahl, and Nathan agrees that he did. According to Nathan, “You used your magic, through Wizard's First Rule, to win. In so doing, you fed magic to the boxes, the gateway, tearing the veil.”
. . .
No.
Bullshit.
That. Did. Not. Happen.
Richard did not use magic to defeat Rahl. Richard lied to Rahl about which Magic Box he should open (or withheld the truth; same difference) and Rahl opened the wrong box and killed himself. If you want to argue that allowing Rahl to kill himself with the Magic Boxes somehow tore the veil, then sure, that could work. But verbal trickery (which is all Richard ever did against Rahl) is not magic. \~/\~/\~/
Nathan says that to fix this, Richard has to put the Crying Rock back on Satan, and that if anyone who does not possess both Plus Magic and Minus Magic tries to do it, it will free Satan. Furthermore, if Richard “act[s] wrongly, using the stone for [his] own reasons,” he'll just make matters worse.
Richard asks Nathan about what an “agent” is. Nathan says that it's someone who trades favors to Satan in exchange for “knowledge of the use of Subtractive Magic.” Um, no. According to dictionary.com, “agent” means:
#A person or business authorized to act on another's behalf.
#A person or thing that acts or has the power to act.
#A natural force or object producing or used for obtaining specific results.
But apparently, the man who gave us gars, screeling, nambles and mriswiths can't come up with another word that means “agent of Satan.” Robert Jordan's “Darkfriends” look pretty respectable by comparison. \~/ And no, I don't know what the distinction is between an “agent” and a “baneling.”
Also, I thought you had to be born with Minus Magic, and that no one had for 3,000 years (aside from the Mindrapists, who inexplicably have Minus Magic as well). Ah, whatever. He's Satan; he breaks the rules.
Nathan says that that doesn't matter, though, since Darken Rahl is in Hell and has no power there. I guess Rahl is the only “agent” in the world, then? There are no others? Umm . . . okay. \~/ Richard chooses not to answer that, and reiterates that he has to get his collar off. The prophecy about Kahlan is brought up again, and Nathan happens to know it and know what it means: that Kahlan is to be beheaded. Furthermore, he says that if Kahlan doesn't die, that's it. Rocks fall, everybody dies. 
Richard says, essentially, “screw that!” and randomly adds “The good spirits have done nothing to help.” Not sure why he said that, as no one ever indicated that they had or would. He storms out of Nathan's place, and his instinct-driven magic causes random property damage as he does. 
When he gets outside: “In the courtyard below, Richard saw a commotion. Guards were running from everywhere. When he got closer, he saw one of the Baka Ban Mana blade masters. There had to be close to a hundred worried-looking guards surrounding him in a ring, holding their distance. The man . . . looked unconcerned.”
I don't care how badass you are; a lone swordsman cannot win against nearly 100 trained enemies.
The BBM greets Richard, saying that his name is Jiaan and that Rapegirl sent him. He says the BBM have made peace with the Majendie, and Rapegirl has decided to keep her baby. Also, she wants to know when Richard is coming back to take the BBM to their homeland. Richard says that it will be soon, and to be ready.
Jiaan leaves. Richard ponders what he's learned, giving is a brief recap in case we weren't paying attention. He decides to find the one person who might be able to help him.
And with that, the chapter ends.
Drinks: 11
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