Father from Down the Lane (Lincoln's Shoes Untied)/transcript

Previous Episode: Mr. Best and Mr. Beat (Season 1)
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: February 18, 1995
Episode Copyrighted: 1994
This episode is rated TV-Y7 for The Expect Smart Actually Season 2. This is the forty-first episode of The Expect Smart Actually.
The episode starts off in the Loud House living room, Lincoln watching TV.
Lincoln Loud: Shoelaces. In the Loud House, there just isn't a lot of it to go around. Which is why, when you happen to tie your shoes. *finds my shoe knot* Got it.
Leni Loud: *walks to Lincoln* Hey Lincoln. Your shoes untied.
Lincoln Loud: I gotta try to tie my shoes, Leni. *ties my shoes*
Leni Loud: I don’t have shoelaces. I have sandals with a bow. *walks to the front door*
Lincoln Loud: Leni, where are you going?
Leni Loud: I’m going to the mall. Bye Linky.
Lincoln Loud: Leni, wait. *sighs*
Screen cuts to SpongeBob's living room with him watching a sea anemone dancing to upbeat music on TV, his eyes widened and he moves a little closer. Gary comes up.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Gary! *changes the channel to a football game* Uh, I... I was just looking for the sports channel, Gary.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Screen cuts to the Loud House living room, Lincoln is watching TV.
Lincoln Loud: *keeps tying my shoes*
Someone is knocking on the door.
Lincoln Loud: *walks to the door* Come in!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *opens door and walks in* Hey, Lincoln, wanna see my new shoes? *shows my blue tennis shoes*
Lincoln Loud: Wow! Those are great, SpongeBob! Let's see what they look like on your feet.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh... *pulls the shoes away* Wouldn't you rather see them on... *shows the shoes on my hands* My hands?
Lincoln Loud: Okay... *has white gloves on my feet* And we can wear gloves on our feet *turns around and has a top hat on his back* ...and hats on our captain's quarters, too. *shakes my butt*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, actually... I have a confession to make. *looks to see that no one is watching, leans to Lincoln's "ear" and whispers* I don't know how to tie my shoelaces.
Lincoln Loud: Do you know how lucky you are to have a friend like me?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes.
Lincoln Loud: *places one foot on the chair* Look at this knot. Have you ever seen a more perfectly executed shoe-fastening bow?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* Gosh... Probably not.
Lincoln Loud: I learned when I was just a boy, SpongeBob, and I'm willing to pass on what I know. Go sit over there... *points offscreen behind myself* ...and let an old pro show you how to do it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sits down in the chair*
Lincoln Loud: *sets my foot on the chair's arm* Pay close attention, SpongeBob. Well, you start *unties my shoes* ...by taking one lace per hand... *pulls a little on both shoes* And then you... Uh, you gotta... Loop the, the…
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you sure you know how to do it?
Lincoln Loud: SpongeBob, please, shoe-tying requires peace and quiet. Okay, where was I? *gives SpongeBob a dirty look*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Your shoes are still untied.
Lincoln Loud: *takes my shoe off the chair, then looks away* Well...
SpongeBob SquarePants: *looks shocked*
Lincoln Loud: ...I guess you don't want me to show you how to do it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm sorry! *covers my mouth with my shoes* I won't interrupt anymore!
Lincoln Loud: I've got it! The first rule of shoe-tying is always start with your right foot. Now the lesson will officially begin. *sets my right foot on the chair arm and unties my laces*
Lincoln is trying to tie his shoes, but they come undone.
Lincoln Loud: *tries again*
But the shoes untie themselves once more.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *glares at Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: That's... "knot" right. *laughs nervously* Get it? Knot... right... hmm…
SpongeBob SquarePants: No.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, no more fooling around. *tries to tie the laces again off-
screen* I've got it! *lifts up my hands to show my fingers tied in a lot of knots*
He laughs nervously. He turns around.
SpongeBob SquarePants: What was that? Are you okay, Lincoln?
Lincoln Loud: *turns around and looks angry at SpongeBob* SPONGEBOB, AREN'T YOU LATE FOR SOMETHING?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, poop deck, You're right! *runs and bursts down Lincoln's room door* We'll have to do this lesson *offscreen* later! Bye, Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: I can't believe I've forgotten how to tie my own shoes. They've been tied for as long as I can remember. *flashbacks to being him as an egg with legs, socks, and shoes only* Well, I'll remember after a good night's sleep.
Night turns to day in the Loud House in Lincoln's room then a rooster crows everyone up. The scene changes to show Lincoln is shown sleeping in his bed snoring with his shoelaces going back and forth. The clock turns to 7:00 am. The alarm goes off.
Lincoln Loud: *wakes up and looks at my shoes*
They are still untied.
Lincoln Loud: Oh... No big deal. I'll remember sooner or later.
The slide transition cuts to show the Bikini Bottom and he opens the front door. SpongeBob is shown wearing his Krusty Krab uniform hat.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Order up, Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, it's about time.
Lincoln Loud: Hey Sponge... *takes a step and trips* ...Bob! *stands up* Hey Sponge... *takes another step and trips* ...Ooh! *stands up* Hey Sponge... *takes another step and trips* Uh! *stands up* Hey Sponge... *takes another step and trips* ...Aah! Hey Sponge... Ow! Hey Sponge... Ow! Hey Sponge... Uh! Hey Sponge... Ow! Hey Sponge... Ow! Hey Sponge... Gah! *repeats a few times*
He makes it to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is cooking a Krabby Patty.
Lincoln Loud: *trips through the doors*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *notices Lincoln* Oh, hi, Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: *gasps* Oh, no! I can't let SpongeBob see I still haven't tied my shoes! *stands up and puts two holes through the floor with my feet*
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm going home now, Lincoln. It's your job to be a fry cook.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, bye SpongeBob.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *leaves*
Lincoln Loud: *wears my Krusty Krab uniform hat* Well, here for the Louds. *walks to the kitchen putting a line of holes in the floor with my feet* Well, I've gotta get to work. *opens the kitchen door and plops on the floor, face first*
He grunts; then talks muffled by the fact that he hasn't stood up yet and is talking straight into the floor.
Lincoln Loud: Aw, dang it! Maybe I should just lay here.
Squidward Tentacles: *peeks my head through the order window* Those patties aren't going to cook themselves, Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: He's right! Got to make... Krabby Patties! *holds out a spatula and gets up* Laces or no laces! *crawls over to the grill while grunting* Ah... I just have to stand in this one spot. *makes a Krabby Patty* Ta-da! A perfect patty.
Squidward Tentacles: Alright, Lincoln, hand it over. Well?
Lincoln Loud: *takes a deep breath, then imagines that Squidward is really far away*
He also imagines his shoelaces as snakes that squeeze him then the hallucination goes away.
Lincoln Loud: Hey, Squidward, I've got an idea! How about you come get it?
Squidward Tentacles: *sarcastically* Oh, gee, Lincoln, that's a great idea. And maybe I should cook the patties, and do the dishes, and wear clothes, and live in the Loud House, while you wait in the unemployment line!
Lincoln Loud: No!
Squidward Tentacles: Then bring that patty here now!
Lincoln Loud: Okay, Squidward. Here I come. I'm coming over. *scoots my feet across the floor inch by inch* I'm bringing the patty to you. Here comes the patty. No problem. I'm walking...the Krabby Patty...over to Squidward. All right, Squidward. I'm giving you the patty... For the hungry customer... So they can eat it... When I give it to you... Which is right... now. *holds out the patty*
The scene zooms out to show that Lincoln never moved.
Squidward Tentacles: Uh, Lincoln? I'm over here! Now move!
Lincoln Loud: Okay, Squidward. *looks down at my feet* Just slowly move your leg. Walk over there... with the... *tries to take a step but trips myself and sends the patty flying through the air at Squidward* Aah!
Squidward Tentacles: Lincoln!
The patty lands in Squidward's mouth.
Lincoln Loud: I'm sorry, Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: *chews the patty* Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: I'll just make another... Ow! *makes another patty, but trips again throwing the patty towards Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: Linc... *patty enters my mouth*
Lincoln Loud: Hold it... Ow! *makes another patty and trips again sending the patty into Squidward's mouth again* Let me just... *makes another patty* Ow! *trips again and launches another patty, which continues for a while*
Pretty soon, Squidward is extremely huge. A group of customers is standing at the register. Old Man Jenkins pokes him.
Old Man Jenkins: What's the holdup?
Squidward Tentacles: *turns around and belches really loudly* I think my heart just stopped.
The students are eating and having fun. Principal Madman confiscates some technology.
Principal Madman: Electric nonsense. Nope, none of that electronic garbage in school. No Sir Ree Bob. *trips over Lincoln's shoe knot and causes a mess in slow motion* Nooooooooooooooo!
Kids: *in slow motion* Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
A Krabby Patty flies into Squidward's mouth in slow motion.
Squidward Tentacles: *in slow motion* Nooooooooooooooo!
A Krabby Patty is in Squidward's mouth and it goes back to normal speed.
Squidward Tentacles: *swallows Krabby Patty, then burps*
Customers and 5 Loud sisters complaining. Lincoln is reading comic books.
Lenny Yogman: Hey, look everybody! That boy kid reads comic books and his shoes untied!
Kids: *laughs*
All Customers: *argues*
Squidward Tentacles: It's Linc... *burps* ...coln's fault!
Screen cuts to Lincoln tearing up.
Squidward Tentacles: *offscreen* Lincoln's fault! *echoes* Lincoln's fault!
Lincoln Loud: *starts to tear up* My childhood is gone. My fun is over. I'm sorry. *sobs*
The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs on the toilet working on a crossword puzzle, all of the answers he has given is the word "Money".
Mr. Krabs: Let's see, a five-letter word for happiness. "Money." *laughs*
Fish Customer: *offscreen* This is the worst service we've ever had! We're going to Master Lox Fortress or the Chum Bucket!
Mr. Krabs: *opens the bathroom door to see what the problem is* Wait! Wait! Don't go! *my pants are on the ground*
Harold the Fish: Oh yeah, we are definitely out of here.
The customers continue to complain. Mr. Krabs runs over to the door, his pants still on the ground, but the Loud sisters Lori, Luna, Lynn, Lola and Lisa are remaining.
Mr. Krabs: Wait! Wait, don't go! That's me money walking out the door! What's the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward?
Squidward Tentacles: It's Lincoln's fault. 
Lola Loud: Yeah! If he had just made up his mind, none of this would have happened!
Squidward Tentacles, 5 Loud Sisters and All Fish Customers: *starts blaming Lincoln*
Mr. Krabs: *gets upset, then my eyes turn into steamboat whistles* Lincoln, get out here! You've messed with the wrong customer this time, boy. You're fired for 3 months.
Lincoln Loud: *peeks out the kitchen door*
Mr. Krabs: More.
Lincoln Loud: *peeks out a little more*
Mr. Krabs: More.
Lincoln Loud: *stretches myself partially through the door*
Mr. Krabs: All the way, boy!
Lincoln Loud: *snaps out of the door and falls to the ground*
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs got you fired, Lincoln!
Mr. Krabs: What is the matter, Lincoln? I ought to make you walk the plank for this.
Lincoln Loud: I'm sorry, guys, it's just that I... I...
Mr. Krabs: Yes?
Lincoln Loud: I... I... I... I... I... I…
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?
Lincoln Loud: I... I... I... I... I…
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy! *shakes Lincoln* What is it?
Lincoln Loud: I forgot how to tie my shoes.
Mr. Krabs: *laughs* That's all?
Lincoln Loud: So you'll show me how?
Mr. Krabs: I don't wear shoes. *close up on my feet*
SpongeBob SquarePants: I wear shoes.
Lincoln Loud: *gasps*
Delightful Children from Down The Lane: Well well well, what do we have here?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Father?
Lincoln Loud: Father?
Father (KND): *claps my hands* Well well well, Kids Next– *to Lincoln* Hey, you’re not from Kids Next Door. Who are you?
Lincoln Loud: I’m Lincoln and how am I gonna tie my shoes?
Father (KND): *to SpongeBob and Lincoln* Now, I should destroy you both.
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: *evil laughs*
SpongeBob SquarePants: He’s coming.
Father (KND): This is it, Grandpa Master Lox. Are you ready for this?
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Perfect.
Lincoln Loud: It's Grandpa Master Lox!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why did you come back?
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox:: Leonard, I have three words to say.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm all ears.
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Time to die!!! *flies at SpongeBob*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *charges at Grandpa Master Lox* As the hero and villains begin to fight each other.
Lincoln Loud: *joins in*
Delightful Children from Down The Lane: Father, get those boys!
Father (KND): Right, Delightful Children. *tries to kidnap heroes*
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Now Lincoln, hand over those shoes.
Lincoln Loud: Never. *fights Grandpa Master Lox*
Father (KND): What are you doing?!
Robot Jones: Leave those boys alone.
Father (KND): Well, then. I have to burn you two.
Robot Jones: Oh yeah?
Lincoln Loud: I have to see the Flying Dutchman how to tie my shoes.
The slide transition cuts to Lincoln in the Bikini Bottom.
Lincoln Loud: Aw man, how am I gonna tie a knot?!
Lightning appears and it becomes night. The Flying Dutchman appears while laughing.
The Flying Dutchman: Did somebody say knot?
Lincoln Loud: *shakes in fear* I did.
The Flying Dutchman: So, you want to tie knots, do ya? Well, do ya?!
Lincoln Loud: Yes, please, Flying Dutchman.
The Flying Dutchman: Then you've come to the right flying ghost, kid. You're looking at the first place winner in the fancy knottin' contest for the last 3,000 years!
Lincoln Loud: Hooray! *floats up into the air and turns into a heart*
The Flying Dutchman: *grabs Lincoln* You're gonna have to not do that. And stop staring at me with them big old eyes.
Lincoln's eyes shrink.
The Flying Dutchman: Now, stand back and watch me be knotty. *laughs and pulls out a rope* Haha! Behold!
The rope is in pretzel shape.
The Flying Dutchman: The pretzel knot!
Lincoln Loud: Ooh...
The Flying Dutchman: *makes the rope into two diamond shapes* The double diamond knot! *holds the rope, now in the shape of a square, in front of Lincoln* The square knot! *pulls it away and it slithers over and squeezes Lincoln* The constrictor! *grabs Lincoln and pulls him apart revealing a knot that looks like intestines* The gut knot! *makes a knot in the shape of a pillow* The pillow knot. *turns the knot over*
Lincoln is sleeping wearing a purple sleeping cap.
The Flying Dutchman: *makes the knot into a butterfly* The butterfly knot.
It starts to flutter away.
Lincoln Loud: Ooh...
The Flying Dutchman: Wait, there's more!
Lincoln Loud: *takes out a pen and paper*
The Flying Dutchman: The monkey chain! *shows the rope as a chain* The monkey's fist! *shows the rope into a ball* The monkey! *shows the rope as a monkey*
Monkey Knot: Ooh, ooh!
The Flying Dutchman: This one here's a loop knot, otherwise known as the 'poop loop'. *pulls the rope*
Rope: Poop!
The Flying Dutchman: Those are great, Flying Dutchman. Now can you show me how to tie my shoes?
Screen cuts to close-up on Lincoln's untied shoes.
The Flying Dutchman: *laughs* I don't know how to tie me shoes. I haven't worn shoes for over 5,000 years! *waves my tail around, then holds a sock with two blue stripes up* But sometimes I like to wear this little sock over me ghostly tail. *laughs*
As he flies off while lightning goes off.
Slide transition cuts back to Evil Grandpa Master Lox.
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: *laughs*
Lincoln Loud: Hey, I have my shoe knot power?
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: What?!
Lincoln Loud: Shoe knot attack.
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Oh no.
Lincoln’s shoe knot: *captures Grandpa Master Lox*
The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Curse you, Lincoln.
Father (KND) (With flames): MY PLAN IS RUINED! WE’RE OUTTA HERE!
Father (KND) and Delightful Children from Down The Lane: *leaves*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, I'm off to the Krusty Krab. *leaves*
The slide transition cuts to Lincoln crawling into the Loud House to his room.
Lana Loud: Lincoln?
Lincoln Loud: Not now, Lana.
Lana Loud: Lincoln, you look terrible.
Lincoln Loud: I'm not in the mood, Lana.
Lana Loud: I want to be in your room, Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: *crawls into my bed* Just leave me and my untied shoes alone, Lana.
Lana Loud: *angrily* Hey.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, Okay, Lana, you have my attention.
Lana Loud: Okay. *ties Lincoln's shoes*
Lincoln Loud: *gasps* Lana! Well, I'll be! You can tie shoes!
Lana Loud: *shows myself wearing shoes*
Lincoln Loud: Birds! How did you learn to do that?
The music starts.
Lincoln Loud: *starts dancing*
Ween: *Song: Loop dee Loop!* ♪Wanna learn how to tie your shoe?♪
The scene changes to show Lincoln in a classroom wearing a teacher's outfit and on the chalkboard there are sketches of shoes.
Ween: ♪It's a very easy thing to do.♪
Charles: *appears on a stool*
Lincoln Loud: *taps the board with my pointer*
Ween: ♪Just sit on down...♪
SpongeBob SquarePants: *appears in the desk next to Lincoln*
Ween: ♪...and I'll give you the scoop,♪
Leni Loud: *holds out a dress*
Lincoln Loud: *gives her a tied shoe that looks like my shoe*
Leni Loud: *looks surprised*
Ween: ♪What's that?♪
The scene changes to show the words "Loop Dee Loop" in shoelaces.
Lincoln Loud: *pulls on two of the aglets*
Ween: ♪It's called the loop-dee-loop.♪
The scene changes to show Lincoln's leg with a untied shoe.
Ween: ♪You gotta take a lace in each hand,♪
Two Lincolns: *holds an aglet in one of each's hands, goes up and pasts the screen*
The scene changes again to show the SpongeBobs crossing each other's paths.
Ween: ♪...You go over and under again.♪
Two Lincolns: *comes back around under the cross path that shoes made*
The go upward and past the screen. They come back and pass each other's path one more time.
Ween: ♪You make a loop-dee-loop and...♪
The scene changes to show a small Lincoln tying the lace of a big Lincoln's shoe.
Ween: ♪pull. And your shoes are♪
The Big Lincoln is shown wearing a top hat and giant shoes. He takes his hat off and kicks the newly tied shoe. It flies off.
Ween: ♪lookin' cool.♪
The scene changes to show a Lincoln multiplying into multiple Lincolns and follows the lyrics.
Ween: ♪You go over and back, left to right, Loop-dee-loop...♪
The scene changes to show Lincoln holding his laces while jumping.
Ween: ♪...and you pull 'em tight,♪
The scene changes to show Lincoln with a bunny toy.
Ween: ♪...Like bunny ears...♪
A present appears.
Ween: ♪...or a Christmas bow.♪
The Bunny toy becomes a bunny slipper and Lincoln is seen wearing it and the present as shoes.
Ween: ♪Lace 'em up and you're ready to go.♪
Lincoln Loud: *runs out of the scene*
The scene changes to show Lincoln jumping off of a tightrope wire swing thing. He stops and spins around and then falls.
Ween: ♪You make a loop-dee-loop and pull,♪
The scene changes to show Lincoln and Charles falling into a giant shoe that looks like Lincoln's shoe.
Ween: ♪...And your shoes are lookin' cool.♪
Lincoln Loud: *pulls on the laces and wings appear on both sides of the shoe*
The shoe plane takes off. The scene changes to show the plane passing giant tied shoe laces. The shoe plane hits a roller coaster track and the wings fall off and it becomes a roller coaster car.
Ween: ♪You make a loop-dee-loop and pull,♪
The shoe falls off of the track and lands on the ground.
Ween: ♪...And your shoes are lookin' cool.♪
Screen fades in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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