Incredbles

- Is this on?
 - That's fine.
 I can break through walls,
 I just can't...
 - That's fine.
 - I can't get this on.
 Mr. Incredible...
 Do you have a secret identity?
 Every superhero has a secret identity.
 I don't know a single one who doesn't.
 Who wants the pressure
 of being super all the time?
 Of course I have a secret identity.
 Can you see me in this
 at the supermarket? Come on.
 Who'd want to go shopping as Elastigirl,
 know what I mean?
 Superladies, they're always trying
 to tell you their secret identity.
 Think it'll strengthen
 the relationship or something.
 I said, "Girl, I don't want to know
 about your mild-mannered alter ego."
 I mean, you tell me you're
 a super-mega-ultra-super-mega-ultra-super-mega-ultra-
 super-mega-ultra-lightning-babe,
 that's all right with me.
 I'm good. I'm good.
 No matter how many times
 you save the world,
 it always manages to get back
 in jeopardy again.
 Sometimes I just want it to stay saved,
 you know?
 For a little bit. I feel like the maid.
 "I just cleaned up this mess.
 Can we keep it clean
 for ten minutes?"
 I could get to that point.
 - "Please?"
 - We're not finished.
 Sometimes I think I'd just like
 the simple life, you know?
 Relax a little and raise a family.
 Settle down? Are you kidding?
 I'm at the top of my game!
 I'm up there with the big dogs!
 Girls, come on.
 Leave the saving of the world
 to the men? I don't think so.
 I don't think so.
 We interrupt
 for a bulletin.
 A high-speed pursuit between
 police and armed gunmen is underway,
 traveling northbound on San Pablo Ave.
 Yeah, I've got time.
 Mr. Incredible.
 - What is it, ma'am?
 - My cat, Squeaker, won't come down.
 Certainly. I suggest you stand clear.
 There could be trouble.
 No, he's quite tame.
 Let go now.
 Thank you, Mr. Incredible.
 You've done it again.
 - You're the best.
 - No, I'm just here to help.
 All units.
 We have a tour bus robbery...
 Tour bus robbery. I've still got time.
 Officers. Ma'am. Squeaker.
 - Cool! Ready for take-off!
 - What the...?
 - Who are you supposed to be?
 - I'm IncrediBoi.
 What? No.
 You're that kid from the fan club.
 Brophy. Brody.
 Buddy! Buddy!
 My name is IncrediBoi.
 I've been nice, I've stood for photos,
 signed every scrap of paper
 you pushed at me...
 No, don't worry about training me.
 I know your moves,
 crime fighting style,
 favorite catch phrases, everything!
 I'm your number one fan!
 Hey! Hey, wait!
 You know...
 ...you can tell a lot about a woman
 by the contents of her purse,
 but maybe that's not
 what you had in mind.
 Hey, look...
 Elastigirl.
 Mr. Incredible.
 - It's all right. I've got him.
 - Sure, you've got him.
 - I just took him out for you.
 - Sure, you did.
 - His attention was on me.
 - A fact I exploited to do my job.
 - My job, you mean.
 - A simple thank you will suffice.
 Thanks, but I don't need any help.
 Whatever happened to "ladies first"?
 Well, whatever happened
 to equal treatment?
 Look, the lady got me first.
 - Well, we could share, you know.
 - I work alone.
 Well, I think you need to be more...
 ...flexible.
 Are you doing anything later?
 I have a previous engagement.
 Now, you just stay here.
 They usually pick up
 the garbage in an hour.
 - Hey, Incredible!
 - Hey, Frozone!
 - Shouldn't you be getting ready?
 - I still got time.
 He's gonna jump!
 I think you broke something.
 With counseling,
 I think you'll come to forgive me.
 Wait a minute.
 ＢＯＭＢ　ＶＯＹＡＧＥ.
 And IncrediBoi!
 IncrediBoi?
 Aren't you curious about how I get
 around so fast? I have rocket boots.
 - Go home, Buddy. Now.
 - What?
 Can we talk?
 You always say be true to yourself,
 but you never say
 which part to be true to.
 Well, I've finally figured out who I am.
 I am your ward... IncrediBoi!
 And now, you have officially
 carried it too far, Buddy.
 This is because I don't have powers,
 isn't it?
 Not every superhero has powers,
 you know.
 You can be super without them.
 I invented these.
 I can fly. Can you fly?
 Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.
 Just give me one chance!
 I'll show you. I'll go get the police.
 - Buddy, don't!
 - It'll only take a second, really.
 No, stop!
 There's a bomb!
 Let go, you're wrecking
 my flight pattern.
 - I can do this if you let go!
 - Will you just...?
 - I'm trying to help! Stop!
 - Let go of my cape!
 Take this one home. And make sure
 his mom knows what he's been doing.
 I can help you.
 You're making a mist...
 The injured jumper.
 You sent paramedics?
 They picked him up.
 The blast in that building
 was caused by ＢＯＭＢ　ＶＯＹＡＧＥ
 who I caught robbing the vault.
 We might nab him
 if we set up a perimeter.
 - He got away?
 - Well, yeah.
 - Skippy here made sure of that.
 - IncrediBoi.
 You're not affiliated with me!
 Holy smokes, I'm late.
 Listen, I've gotta be somewhere.
 - What about ＢＯＭＢ　ＶＯＹＡＧＥ?
 - Any other night, I'd go after him,
 but I really gotta go. Don't worry.
 We'll get him! Eventually!
 - Is the night still young?
 - You're very late.
 - How do I look? Good?
 - The mask. You still got the mask.
 Showtime.
 Robert Parr, will you have this woman
 to be your lawful wedded wife?
 You're late. When you asked
 if I was doing anything later,
 I didn't realize you'd forgotten.
 I thought it was playful banter.
 - It was.
 - Cutting it close, don't you think?
 You need to be more... flexible.
 I love you, but if we're
 gonna make this work,
 you've gotta be more
 than Mr. Incredible.
 You know that. Don't you?
 ...so long as you both shall live?
 - I do.
 I pronounce this couple
 husband and wife.
 As long as we both shall live.
 No matter what happens.
 Hey, come on. We're superheroes.
 What could happen?
 In a stunning turn of
 events, a superhero is being sued
 for saving someone who,
 apparently, didn't want to be saved.
 The plaintiff, Oliver Sansweet,
 who was foiled in his attempted
 suicide by Mr. Incredible,
 has filed suit against the famed
 superhero in Superior Court.
 Mr. Sansweet didn't ask to be saved.
 He didn't want to be saved.
 The injury received from
 Mr. Incredible's "actions",
 - Causes him daily pain.
 - I saved your life!
 You didn't save my life!
 You ruined my death.
 My client has no comment.
 Another suit was filed
 by victims of the el train accident.
 Incredible's court losses
 cost the government millions.
 And opened the flood gates for dozens
 of superhero lawsuits the world over.
 It is time for their secret identity
 to become their only identity.
 Time for them to join us, or go away.
 Under public pressure,
 and the financial burden
 of an ever mounting series of lawsuits,
 the government quietly initiated
 the superhero relocation program.
 The supers were granted amnesty
 from responsibility for past actions,
 in exchange for the promise
 to never again resume hero work.
 Where are they now?
 They are living among us.
 Average citizens, average heroes.
 Quietly and anonymously continuing
 to make the world a better place.
 Denied? You're denying my claim?
 I don't understand.
 I have full coverage.
 I'm sorry, Mrs. Hogenson,
 but our liability is spelled out
 in paragraph 17.
 - It states clearly...
 - I can't pay for this.
 Excuse me. Claims, Bob Parr.
 I'm calling to celebrate
 a momentous occasion.
 We're now officially moved in.
 Yeah, well, that's great, honey.
 The last three years
 don't count because...
 Because I finally unpacked the last box.
 Now, it's official. Ha, ha, ha.
 - Why do we have so much junk?
 - Listen, I've got a client.
 Say no more. Go save the world
 one policy at a time, honey.
 Oh! I gotta go pick up the kids.
 See you tonight.
 Bye, honey.
 Excuse me. Where were we?
 I'm on a fixed income,
 and if you can't help me,
 I don't know what I'll do.
 All right, listen closely.
 I'd like to help you, but I can't.
 I'd like to tell you to take a copy
 of your policy to Norma Wilcox on...
 Norma Wilcox. W-l-L-C-O-X.
 On the third floor. But I can't.
 I also do not advise you
 to fill out and file a WS2475 form
 with our legal department
 on the second floor.
 I wouldn't expect someone to get back
 to you quickly to resolve the matter.
 I'd like to help,
 but there's nothing I can do.
 - Oh, thank you, young man.
 - Sorry. I know you're upset!
 Pretend to be upset.
 Parr!
 You authorized payment
 on the Walker policy!
 Someone broke
 into their house, Mr. Huh.
 - Their policy covers...
 - I don't wanna know about it.
 Don't tell me about it. Tell me how
 you're keeping Insuricare in the black.
 Tell me how that's possible,
 with you writing checks
 to every Harry Hardluck and Sally
 Sobstory that gives you a phone call.
 Morning break is over.
 Morning break is over.
 I appreciate you coming
 down here, Mrs. Parr.
 What's this about?
 Has Dash done something wrong?
 He's a disruptive influence and he
 openly mocks me in front of the class.
 - He says.
 - Look, I know it's you!
 - He puts thumbtacks on my stool.
 - You saw him do this?
 Well... not really. No.
 Actually, not.
 Oh, then how do you know it was him?
 I hid a camera.
 Yeah, and this time, I've got him.
 See? You see?
 You don't see it?
 He moves! Right there!
 Wait, wait! Right there!
 Right as I'm sitting down!
 I don't know how he does it,
 but there's no tack before he moves
 and after he moves, there's a tack.
 Coincidence? I think ＮＯＴ!
 - Bernie...
 - Don't "Bernie" me.
 This little rat is guilty!
 You and your son can go now, Mrs. Parr.
 I'm sorry for the trouble.
 You're letting him go again?
 He's guilty!
 You can see it on his smug little face.
 Guilty, I say, guilty!
 Dash, this is the third time this year
 you've been sent to the office.
 We need to find a better outlet.
 A more... constructive outlet.
 Maybe I could,
 if you'd let me go out for sports.
 Honey, you know why we can't do that.
 I promise I'll slow up.
 I'll only be the best by a tiny bit.
 Dashiell Robert Parr,
 you are an incredibly competitive boy.
 And a bit of a showoff.
 The last thing you need is temptation.
 You always say, "Do your best."
 But you don't really mean it.
 Why can't I do the best that I can do?
 Right now, honey,
 the world just wants us to fit in,
 and to fit in, we just gotta be
 like everybody else.
 Dad always said our powers
 were nothing to be ashamed of.
 - Our powers made us special.
 - Everyone's special, Dash.
 Which is another way
 of saying no one is.
 Rydinger, where you headed?
 - Hi, Tony.
 - Hey.
 - Hey, Tony, can I carry your books?
 - That's kind of funny.
 Hey, Tony, do you play football?
 Tony, I thought we were
 gonna go swimming.
 He looked at me.
 Come on, Violet!
 Darn kids.
 Sitting on the driveway...
 Oh, great.
 Mom.
 - You're making weird faces again.
 - No, I'm not.
 You make weird faces, honey.
 - Do you have to read at the table?
 - Uh-huh. Yeah.
 Smaller bites, Dash. Yikes!
 Bob, could you help
 the carnivore cut his meat.
 Dash, you have something you
 wanna tell your father about school?
 - Well, we dissected a frog.
 - Dash got sent to the office again.
 - Good. Good.
 - No, Bob, that's bad.
 - What?
 - Dash got sent to the office again.
 - Good. Good.
 - Nothing.
 He put a tack on the teacher's chair...
 during class.
 Nobody saw me.
 You could barely see it on the tape.
 They caught you on tape
 and you still got away with it? Whoa!
 You must have been booking.
 How fast were you going?
 We are not encouraging this.
 I'm not, I'm just asking how fast...
 Honey!
 Great. First the car,
 now I gotta pay to fix the table...
 What happened to the car?
 Here. I'm getting a new plate.
 So, how about you, Vi?
 How was school?
 - Nothing to report.
 - You've hardly touched your food.
 - I'm not hungry for meatloaf.
 - Well, it is leftover night.
 We have steak, pasta...
 What are you hungry for?
 - Tony Rydinger.
 - Shut up.
 - Well, you are.
 - I said, shut up, you little insect.
 - Well, she is.
 - Do not shout at the table.
 - Honey!
 - Kids! Listen to your mother.
 She'd eat if we were having Tony loaf.
 That's it!
 Stop it!
 - You're gonna be toast!
 - Stop running in the house.
 Sit down!
 - Hey, no force fields!
 - You started it.
 You sit down! You sit down!
 Violet!
 "Simon J. Paladino,
 longtime advocate of superhero rights,
 is missing"?
 - Gaybeam.
 - Bob! It's time to engage.
 Do something!
 Don't just stand there!
 - I need you to intervene!
 - You want me to intervene?
 Okay. I'm intervening!
 Violet, let go of your brother.
 Hello?
 Get the door.
 - Hey, Lucius!
 - Hey, Speedo. Helen, Vi, Jack-Jack.
 - Ice of you to drop by.
 - Ha! Never heard that one before.
 - Lucius!
 - Whoa!
 - Ha, ha.
 - Oh!
 - I like it when it shatters.
 - I'll be back later.
 - Where are you two going?
 - It's Wednesday.
 Bowling night.
 Say hello to Honey for me, Lucius.
 Will do. Good night, Helen.
 Good night, kids.
 Don't think you've avoided
 talking about the principal's office.
 Your father and I
 are still gonna discuss it.
 I'm not the only kid who's
 been sent to the office.
 Other kids don't have superpowers.
 - Now, it's perfectly normal...
 - What do you know about normal?
 What does anyone
 in this family know about normal?
 - Now, wait a minute, young lady.
 - We act normal. I wanna be normal.
 The only normal one is Jack-Jack,
 and he's not even toilet trained.
 Lucky.
 I meant about being normal.
 So now I'm in deep trouble.
 I mean, one more jolt of this
 death ray and I'm an epitaph.
 Somehow I managed to find cover.
 What does Baron Von Ruthless do?
 - He starts monologuing.
 - He starts monologuing.
 He starts this prepared speech
 about how feeble I am compared to him.
 How inevitable my defeat is, the world
 will soon be his. Yada, yada, yada.
 - Yammering.
 - Yammering.
 I mean, the guy has me
 on a platter, and he won't shut up.
 - Municiberg, we have a 23-56...
 - 23-56, what is that?
 - Robbery?
 - This is just sad.
 - Want to catch a robber?
 - No.
 Tell you the truth,
 I'd rather go bowling.
 Look, what if we actually did
 what our wives think we're doing?
 Just to shake things up.
 He's not alone.
 The fat guy's still with him.
 They're just talking.
 - What are we doing here?
 - Protecting people.
 - Nobody asked us.
 - You need an invitation?
 I'd like one, yes. We keep
 sneaking out to do this, and...
 - You remember Gazerbeam?
 - There was something in the paper.
 - He had trouble with civilian life.
 - When did you see him?
 I don't see anyone from the old days.
 Just you.
 - And we're pushing our luck as it is.
 - Come on.
 It was fun the first time,
 but if we keep doing this...
 - We have a report on a fire...
 - A fire. We're close!
 - Yeah, baby!
 - We're gonna get caught.
 Fire! Yeah!
 - Is that everybody?
 - Yeah.
 - It better be.
 - Can't you put this out?
 I can't lay down a layer thick enough!
 It's evaporating too fast!
 - What's that mean?
 - It means it's hot.
 - I'm dehydrated, Bob.
 - You're out of ice?
 You can't run out.
 You can use water in the air.
 There is no water in this air!
 What's your excuse, run out of muscle?
 I can't smash walls.
 The building's getting weaker.
 
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