The Brother Bothers While The Sister Snarks (Susan, Milo, and Papaya)/Script

Cream: “I told you, Knot, you shouldn’t have tried playing bungee on that hook. It’s bad for your tail.”
Tangle: “Don’t worry, Knot, you’ll get better soon!”
Knot: “Thanks, Mom.”
Swift: “He won’t get better soon. Soon would be an understatement, as long as I have the ultra expensive insta-tail recovery medicine! Created by one of the best pharmaceutical scientists of all time! I don’t care about the name, you must know who he is.”
Cream: “Thanks, Swift!”
Swift: “You’re welcome, Cream! Glad you never just do the HARE minimum to treat patients.”
Cream: she laughs “I always treat patients with a smile!”
Swift: “I hope when I grow up, I become as optimistic and full of energy as you are when I get a job.”
Cream: she honks
Swift: he massages Cream
Cream: she honks and purrs
Swift: “You need to get a dentist one day. Chattering your teeth may give you a trip to the dentist. By the way, why is a rabbit chattering their teeth called a purr?”
Cream: “What? Rabbits do this either when they are happy or relaxed. They also do it when they are in pain, so a rabbit chattering their teeth means the same thing for a rabbit as a cat having their body vibrate.”
Swift: “Oh! That’s why it’s called a purr! They sound different, but they-“
Cream: “Ava knows about this. She is a straight A student who would’ve gotten straight A pluses, if it weren’t for her love for her friends.”
Swift: “Hey! That’s not a bad thing!”
Cream: “Well, I talked with Ava once, since I felt like she could’ve done better at school, because she seems to be the know it all of any group, but Ava said to me that she is just holding back so that she doesn’t skip a grade, thus not letting her spend time with you.”
Swift: “That’s sweet! Sweet as a candy with the color of her fur.”
Unit 3003
Ava: “Mom! Dad!”
Amy and Sonic: “Yes, Ava?”
Ava: “I have seen your fights. And I wanna point out some flaws in your fights. All I have to say is you have a ton.”
Sonic: “So what? We are still awesome! We are still the best at fighting, and we almost never lose.”
Amy: “Sonic, I think it’s best we listen to Ava.”
Ava: “You two are great fighters, but here’s my biggest problem with your fighting. You talk before you fight. You know how Eggman keeps boasting about being the greatest evil scientist? Remember, Dad, you are Sonic the Hedgehog. You want things to be fast paced. So if you really want to speed up things, you should do something when you know Eggman is up to something evil. If you really want to talk before battle, just don’t, talk while you make your first move.”
Sonic: “That’s a great idea, smart girl. You deserve to have the same color as a normal brain.”
Ava: “Uh, what does that mean?”
Sonic: “Well, you are smart, and I think it’s fitting that you have the same color as a brain.”
Ava: “Thanks, Dad.”
Amy: “What is your problem with me, Ava?”
Ava: “Almost every new villain you face. You try to redeem them.”
Amy: “I don’t see the problem with that. I redeemed Shadow and Omega and made Silver see the truth about Mephiles.”
Ava: “Wow! I bet you’re even better at redeeming people than you were before. There’s no way you did not do these all when you were 12, nearing your 13th birthday, since those all happened around that time.”
Amy: “That’s worth a try for new villains. That’s why every time there is a new villain, I try to redeem them before I figure out they are irredeemable. That’s why I was so angry at people who liked Eggman, because he’s pretty much irredeemable.”
Ava: “But you didn’t have to HURT Susan! Well, your problem is even more severe than Dad’s, because every time a new villain attacks, you hesitate at first. Dad and Samantha don’t!”
Amy: “What if they are insecure? What if they do this out of care for someone or fulfilling their promise to someone who died, just like Shadow?”
Ava: “OK, now I get it. You still want to be not just the muscle of the trio, but also the heart.”
Amy: “EXACTLY!”
Ava: “You get away with everything.”
Amy: “But I don’t want to be the damsel in distress. That’s the thing I hated the most, as it overshadows my heroics. That’s why I trained with Knuckles.”
Ava: “But you get angry very often.”
Amy: “Yes, I do, but that’s often because I feel offended.”
Prower Corps
Sasha: “Whatcha up to, Tails?”
Millicent: “Hello, Sasha!”
Sasha: “Who is that?”
Tails: “Millicent Prower the Cyan Fox.”
Millicent: “Hey, younger bro! What do you want to do?”
Tails: “Destroy the Eggman Empire to free Mobius from its evils.”
Millicent: “I’m glad to help you!”
Sasha: “Oh, dagnabbit.”
Tails: “But how do I defeat a rodent like that?”
Millicent: “What does she have?”
Tails: “I could give you a list, and it’d be enough to fill this entire room, but all I have to say is that she has the power of all the Wisps, and she has decent athletics.”
Millicent: “Why don’t you trap her when she is in a specific Wisp form?”
Tails: “I did that, Millicent. However, when I succeeded, she had friends to back her up. I put her in a capsule once that is big enough to-“
Millicent: “Why can’t you just put her in a cramped capsule?”
Tails: “So that she lives, and so that I don’t make myself look like a villain.”
Millicent: “You aren’t a bad guy, Tails!”
Tails: “Also, Sasha is just a kid. Her heart is in the right place, but she shouldn’t let my son, whose heart is also in the right place take over the Eggman Empire. Nobody should, or else they will be corrupted by power.”
Prower Towers Hospital
Cream: “Inferno!”
Inferno: she hisses
Swift: “Hey, Inferno!” he was about to sing Inferno the Lavender Cat, bringing Melanie to the hospital “How are you today, and how did you end up her-“
Cream: “Serving people with a smile should not be in people’s faces, Swift."
Swift: "Look at that guy! He seems obese!"
Cream: "And yeah, he's overly obese. I weighed him. He needs to start losing weight by exercising."
Swift: "I know how he can exercise!" he plays the Mean Bean Machine Exercise Mode theme on a radio
The obese person and Swift dance to the music
Swift's Exercise Song Plays
Swift: "Let's go, oh, let's go! You've got so much weight to lose, so dance, yo!
Let's go, oh, let's go! Gotta move your body from head to toe!
As the son of the fastest and the strongest hedgehogs alive,
I say you should lose more than twenty-five!
But let's not be too extreme right now, so I recommend that you
Do some running in place and jumping jacks too!
Then maybe do some cycling through the big city streets!
It's not enough to just walk, or else your weight will not heavily deplete!
Then maybe practice some burpees, oh yeah! The oh so very extremely infamous burpees!
Do squats, lunges, mountain climbers, and do this everyday, and you may lose lots of weight, I guarantee!
Play this 80s styled music while you do your exercises!
If not everyday, maybe you can exercise at least 5 hours a week!"
Obese Patient: "Hey! I'm feeling less heavy!"
The song's instrumental continues to play in the background
Cream: "Don't play that song for too long, Swift. I have another appointment."
Swift: "Maybe I should do it to that section of the hospital that contains all of the obese people."
Cream: "No, Swift! The other room right after-"
Swift: he runs to the room and puts on his song and sings it, and the other obese people dance with him
Cream: sigh
Room 103
Ava: "That's the biggest problem, Dad and Mom. Sometimes, you stand there talking before you do the actual fighting."
Amy: "At least I have a justified reason to do so."
Ava: "Well, Mom, like I said, only do it when you think the villain is irredeemable or is just made of evil."
Sonic: "Yeah, what was I thinking? What was EGGMAN thinking? He does the same thing too!"
Amy: "Ava, I won't take your advice at all. Sorry."
Ava: "Mom, why?"
Amy: "You know what that's called? Reckless."
Ava: "Wait, what?"
Amy: "What if the villain was doing it for a reason? If I couldn't redeem them, I could just figure out their weak spot. This is why I don't fight immediately. It makes the villain talk too, which means that I get more time to figure out their weak spot."
Ava: "Oh! Taking lessons from Samantha, aren't you, Mom?"
Amy: "Exactly."
Susan: "Hey, Ava! Want me to help you with evaluating heroes' problems?"
Ava: "Oh, sure! Mom and Dad are not the only ones that have problems when fighting villains."
Freedom Fighter Base
Ava: "So, Tangle, do you ever focus on destroying any pillar in your arena? You know, they can easily exploit of your main weapon, your tail with any pillar or pole."
Tangle: "Oh, thanks. I am going to tell Knot that in combat, he should do just that."
Ava: "Next! Whisper and Gadget, you're good."
Whisper and Gadget: they high five
Ava: "Next!"
Prower Corps
Sasha: "I'm not falling for these traps. And you forgot one thing. I found these rare Wisps and got some Hyper-go-on from them."
Millicent: she whispers to Tails "Think of different traps, Tails."
Tails: he whispers to Millicent "OK, Millicent!"
Sasha: she uses Golden Boost and sends Tails and Millicent out of Prower Corps
Millicent: "Did you see that coming?"
Tails: "I didn't even know the Golden Boost existed!"
The two are sent to the Freedom Fighters Base
Susan: "OK, Tails! You have a lot of problems. With Sasha, specifically. I could give you a list, and it’d be enough to fill this entire room, but all I have to say is that you should observe her moves. Losing is OK, because if you really want to defeat her, you have to spend a few days being defeated by her by looking closely at every move she makes with her Super Wispon."
Tails: "Got it, Susan."
Prower Towers Hospital
Cream: "Oh, sorry, Swift, but that guy is dead."
Swift: he cries
Funeral
Swift: he plays Mean Bean Machine Exercise Mode in the funeral
Cream: "HEY! YOU ARE DISRESPECTING HIM!"
Swift: "He specifically told me to play this song in his funeral."
Cream: "Understandable."
Swift: "Just in case everyone gets angry at me playing my song at the funeral, this is what he told me." he plays a recording of what the then-dying patient said
Recording
Dying Patient: "Swift, sorry, but I can't live anymore, but if there's one thing I want you to do, I want you to play the music you used in your Exercise Song. I have listened to it so many times. That song was called the Mean Bean Song, and I loved it ever since I was a kid. It's my favorite song. So please, play it in my funeral."
Recording Ends
Swift: "Guess who is being disrespectful now."
Cream: "You are! You shouldn't be snarky about ANYTHING in a funeral, Swift!"
Swift: he cries "I made a mistake in a funeral! How can I live with myself?"
Cream: "It's OK, Swift. This is your first time going to a funeral after all, and I am glad you were at least thoughtful of the first patient I saw dying right in front of me."
Swift: "Really?"
Cream: "Yeah. Usually, the people we are making a funeral for would want people to play sad songs in their funeral, but I guess I wasn't used to people wanting to play a high-energy song in a funeral."
Swift: "Before you get angry at me making it a carnival-themed funeral, before he died, I saw this presentation that shows what he wants in his funeral."
What I Want In My Funeral Presentation
I want it to be a carnival themed presentation that makes things look like the 80s, because I want to come from the year that I did the most stuff in. I am the lead song of my hit song "Eye Of A Bull". Play that song in my funeral after you play my favorite song aside from the one I performed in.
Swift: "Wait, that was BRAVE BECKLER?"
Cream: "That's why I got so angry at you when I felt like you disrespected him in his funeral. He was the lead singer of my favorite hard rock song of all time."
Swift: "I get it, Cream. I bet he thought he couldn't have been a patient to a better doctor than you."
Cream: "Aww! Thanks, Swift!"
The End!
Category:Susan, Milo and Papaya Episodes
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