Patchwork

Patchwork, or "Patches,"Patchwork: "... ... huh? ... Ah! Jesus Christ! Don't... don't sneak up on me like that, the last fella... the last fella to do that damn near lost my arm. You're new here, yeah... you must be, since you're actually talking to... talking to me... I'm Patchwork... or just "Patches" if... if you like that. I'm... shit.... I forget."(Patchwork's dialogue) is a ghoul who resides in the city of Underworld .
==Background==
Patchwork is the resident drunk of Underworld, drinking to a point where he consistently slurs his words and has a tendency to forget what is being said to him mid-conversation.The Lone Wanderer: "Where can I get a drink around here? You seem like the right person to ask."Patchwork: "Why, you'll want to head on over to the Ninth Circle and talk to Mister Ahzrukhal... he... he... uhhh... what was I saying? Oh yeah, the generators, I don't know where they are, you'll have to ask Winthrop."(Patchwork's dialogue)The Lone Wanderer: "What can you tell me about Underworld?"Patchwork: "What can YOU tell ME about... wait... what?"(Patchwork's dialogue) Not many of the other ghouls acknowledge his presence, save for Ahzrukhal who keeps him intoxicated,Winthrop: "Ahzrukhal, boy, I need to talk to you."Ahzrukhal: "I'm not your "boy", Winthrop. What do you want?"Winthrop: "It's about Patchwork. You need to stop feeding him booze, Ahzrukhal. The boy can barely stand most of the time, and you just keep serving him."Ahzrukhal: "He's a big boy, Winthrop. As long as he's got the caps, I'm going to sell him booze. I'm here to make money, not to babysit."Winthrop: "Sure, sure, you're here to make money, and I fix all of your crap so that you can keep right on making that money. What would happen if I stopped?"Ahzrukhal: "Save your threats, old man. You don't have the balls."Winthrop: "I'm not threatening you, I'm just sayin'. No equipment. No business. Either way, my problem is solved. Think about it. We'll talk later."(Winthrop and Ahzrukhal's dialogue) and Winthrop who is attempting to put an end to his drinking problem to no avail.Winthrop: "Patches. Patches! Hey, buddy, stay with me here for a second. We need to talk."Patchwork: "Huh? Oh! Hey Winthrop! How're... how're you? I didn't see- see you there! What's up?"Winthrop: "C'mon, I'm worried that I'm going to find you dead one of these days. Listen to yourself. You can barely talk. You're a mess, man."Patchwork: "Hahaha! That's... that's funny! Did I ever tell you about how I got my name?"Winthrop: "Alright, I can't even talk to you about this right now. Let's just deal with it later."Patchwork: "Oh, okay. Maybe.. maybe we can get a drink after you're done working!"(Patchwork's dialogue)Fallout 3 Official Game Guide Game of the Year Edition p. 90:"Patchwork:Patchwork is Underworld's town drunk. He's in pretty rough shape, even for a Ghoul. He's always losing limbs that Doctor Barrows has to find and sew back on. Patchwork is friendly enough to humans, especially if softened up with a bottle of booze. Winthrop looks out for Patchwork but has never been able to convince him to stop drinking." As such, Patchwork is surprised if the Lone Wanderer engages him in conversation, claiming that they must be new to the city or they would not be speaking to him. If asked if he is the town drunk, he asserts that he is proud of the title, and mumbles that he would "spend a lot more time cry... crying" if he was not inebriated at the level he is.The Lone Wanderer: "So, you're the town drunk, huh?"Patchwork: "Why yes! Yes I am! And... PROUD! Proud of it! I mean, if I weren't, I'd probably just spend a lot more time cry... crying... you know? Here I am... drunk... falling apart liter- literally! I lost my damn finger last week! Doc put it back on though... bless him..."(Patchwork's dialogue)
He is in a poor physical state and is prone to losing body parts that Doctor Barrows has to both locate and subsequently sew back on, almost like a "patchwork." Patchwork has lost a finger (although it was then reattached) and can be heard in the middle of losing his toes, asking Cerberus if he has seen them.Patchwork: "Dammit... it was attached a second ago... Hey! Robot! You seen any, you know, toes around here?"(Patchwork's dialogue) Upon first encountering the Lone Wanderer, he will ask them to not sneak up on him, saying that the last time that happened, he almost lost an arm; he may also ask that the Lone Wanderer keep an "eye out" for pieces of him, though not for his literal eyes as "those ain't never fallen out yet."The Lone Wanderer: "You're losing parts? Like... body parts?"Patchwork: "Yeah... it happens... a lot, actuall.. actually. All the time. But I'm getting' better... I think... Just keep an... eye out for 'em... but not my eye, those ain't never fallen out yet..."(Patchwork's dialogue) If one shows concern for his well-being, he remarks how some people make him hurt himself for their entertainment.The Lone Wanderer: "You be careful. I don't want you hurting yourself."Patchwork: "You sure? Some... some people make me hurt myself... because it makes 'em laugh..."(Patchwork's dialogue) Despite this, he can be overhead telling Winthrop that he has never permanently lost a body part and is satisfied with his ability to remain in one piece, for the most part.Winthrop: "Everything alright there, Patches? You don't look so good."Patchwork: "Oh, hello. I'm alright. Still in one piece. Well, except for that one that got away... but I'll find it. No worries."(Patchwork and Winthrop's dialogue)Winthrop: "Heya, Patches. You alright, buddy? You're not lookin' so good."Patchwork: "Oh hey, Winthrop. Yeah, I'm alright, I just.. err... dropped something around here. Don't worry about me, it'll turn up."(Patchwork and Winthrop's dialogue) He can be bribed with alcohol to reveal information about Mister Crowley, and is more amiable towards humans if offered a drink.The Lone Wanderer: "What can you tell me about Mister Crowley?"Patchwork: "Won't never buy me a drink, that's what."The Lone Wanderer: "Here's 3 caps for a drink, but you've got to tell me what you know."Patchwork: "Deal. All I know is that he keeps trying to hire outsiders to do some killing."(Patchwork's dialogue) 
Patchwork can be heard singing "Bugger off, ye bastards bugger off... ye'll get nae more this evenin'" which is the beginning of the Irish drinking song 'Bugger Off,' though he forgets the remaining lyrics.Patchwork: "Bugger off, ye bastards bugger off... ye'll get nae more this evenin'.... how's it go?"(Patchwork's dialogue)
==Daily schedule==
Patchwork randomly wanders around the promenade inside the center area of Underworld. He may enter The Ninth Circle to obtain more alcohol. He and Quinn appear to be good friends, as in a non-player character to non-player character conversation Patchwork asks Quinn if he "brought anything back" for him.
==Interactions with the player character==
===Interactions overview===
==Inventory==
==Notes==
Patchwork will tell you to "talk to Ahzrukhal" even if Ahzrukhal is already dead.
==Notable quotes==
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==Appearances==
Patchwork appears only .
==References==
Non-game
Category:Fallout 3 ghoul characters
Category:Underworld characters
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