Cosmo's Kitchen: Episode 04

__NOTOC__
==Synopsis==
Todo
==Recap==
Cosmo summons the kitchen staff to the back of the restaurant to tell them about the latest predicament. Previously, he had sent a party led by Sweet Potato to Goldilocks the gold dragon and renowned investment banker to seek a loan and gather golden scales for a banquet, but they were too weird about it and enraged her instead. Goldilocks thought it was very strange that they were trying to collect the scales she shed, so she ate the whole party except Sweet Potato, who barely escaped but made it back to Cosmo's. However, failing Cosmo is a dangerous mistake and Sweet Potato's tragically dies and his corpse ends up hanging from the rafters in the meat cellar of the kitchen.
Disappointed in the failure of the first team, Cosmo tasks the new crew with repeating the mission that Sweet Potato failed. He tells them that Goldilocks lives in a mountain near Bakku, 3 days away from Cosmo's and tells them to find her and satisfy three objectives:
*Secure a line of credit of 10K gold.
* Collect golden scales to use as new dinner plates - at least 6, but 20 or even 30 would be better.
*Find out if Goldilocks has any eggs that could be used for a golden dragon egg omelette, and if not when she might have eggs next. Under no circumstances should they steal the eggs
The party accepts their mission and gets ready to leave - But first, Breadgar and Angus go back to the meat cellar to see what has become of sweet potato. They find him hanging from the rafters with a bucket below him collecting his blood to use in drinks. Taking him down, they start to cut off any parts that might be useful as ingredients. With this done, the party leaves on their journey to Bakku, which goes without incident. 
Upon arriving in Bakku, they enter a bar named "Dat Days Gazthasus" to find a place to rest and seek information about the location of Goldilocks. They meet a inept young bartender whose lack of knowledge of dwarven ale and general demeanor immediately angers Aengus, but he manages to control his temper. The rest of the party asks the barkeep some questions about Goldilocks. He says there are signs pointing along the road which should lead them straight to her lair and that he saw Sweet Potato traveling to meet Goldilocks, but he doesn't know much else.
Throughout the day Kenji has been stressed and snapping at everyone he talks with, partly due to the stress of planning a big meal at Cosmo's kitchen, but also because of his habit of constantly snorting gnome dust. Breadgar thinks Kenji has been acting unreasonable and tries to convince Kenji to maybe cut back on the gnome dust and use some less potent drugs like goblin weed instead, but this quickly raises tensions in the party. He angers both Aengus and Kenji, and Breadgar leaves to sit on his own.
==First Break==
After the break, a merchant named Grizzy who overheard the party talking about the loan that they need comes over to talk to them. Grizzy is familiar with the local business landscape and has business partners who have dealt with Goldilocks in the past. He tells them that Goldilocks has previously demanded collateral for loans, like taking a man's husband and dog before giving him a loan. He offers to get them in touch with other people in town to get them a loan from humans instead of fearsome fire-breathing monsters, but when he Kenji remarks that he works with humans who are just as dangerous as Goldilocks regularly, Grizzy realizes how dangerous the party is and he quickly drops the subject and leaves the bar.
That night, Brair tries to steal some alcohol from the bar, but is caught in the act by the barkeep and distracts him by having a heart to heart with him. After hearing how disappointed his father is with him for not contributing to his 401k (Killing 401,000 goblins) Brair tells him that he should attempt to murder his father to win his respect. The barkeep is too scared to argue, so Brair pushes him out the door and he runs off into the night, giving Brair free reign to take the drinks.
Breadgar is still sitting apart from the group after their fight, and Aegnus approaches to apologize to him. They decide to set their differences aside and upon hearing that Breadgar is upset about how people treat him badly for being a necromancer, Aegnus gives him some words of encouragement: "Everyone thought I was a terrible waiter because I lose my temper, but I tell you what, I'm probably one of the best waiters in the world. It's the customers that are wrong, right?". Afterwards, Aegnus agrees to talk to Kenji about the situation as well and provides Kenji some impromptu therapy.
The next morning, the party discusses their options and they decide that the best course of action is to visit Goldilocks with a gift of savoury tiramisu to earn her trust. They find ingredients and look for a kitchen where they can prepare the dish, Luckily, they meet a man named Cal o'Rie the baker who agrees to let them use his bakery after they tell him that they work for Cosmo's Kitchen and can get him a free Deviled egg which is so delicious that it will make anyone who tries it cry.
With that, the four of them set to work creating their savoury tiramisu. Briar mixes a drink using unknown ingredients which tastes exactly like what you expect at first (probably foul), but then the taste evolves with spicy flavours, and then sweeter tones coming through. Breadgar prepares lady fingers, using extra bone flour from an alcoholic gnome who was addicted to amaretto to enhance the flavour. Aegnus uses his skills with a knife to chop the meat into a fine paste and whips it together with cream. Kenji oversees the crew and combines the ingredients to create the dish, topping it with spices and a few crumbs of rock-hard dwarven bread for good luck.
==Second Break==
With their gift in hand, the party heads up to Goldilock's lair that same day. The half-elf guard at the door lets them in after hearing about their purpose, and they meet Goldilocks the golden dragon for the first time. She is a huge and powerful dragon who could easily eat them in a single bite, but she is impressed by their tiramisu and Aengus is smitten with her. He says that she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and that he would like to have a long term emotional relationship with her. Surprisingly, this actually works since she's more used to people offering her virgin sacrifices or gold and she decides to keep him as her pet. Kenji asks about the 10,000 gold loan they need and Goldilocks offers to outright buy Aengus for 10,000 gold instead. The party happily accepts, though Aengus has some reservations about never getting to leave again, and after some truly unprecedented discussion of dragon mating habits, Aengus ends up offering to climb inside of her mouth to clean out all the old bones that are stuck in there and remove any other plaque which has built up. As Goldilocks is distracted, Brair seizes the opportunity and stealthily gathers 20 golden scales from the other side of the room while Breadgar counts their 10K gold and Aengus keeps her busy acting as her dentist.
Leaving Aengus behind to his fate, the rest of the party leaves with the scales and gold. On their way out, they ask the half-elf guard if Goldilocks will have eggs any time soon in a roundabout way, and they eventually learn that in about 6 months she will probably have more eggs. At last the party leaves to return to Cosmo's Kitchen with all of their objectives complete. 
When they return Cosmo is pleased that they managed to sell the dwarf for 10K gold instead of needing to take out a loan. He asks the party if Aengus would have been a good waiter, and the party unanimously declares that he would have been rubbish at it and this is the best case scenario they could have hoped for. Cosmo agrees, and gives each remaining party member their reward.
Category:The Lazarus Expedition Episodes
Category:Save Or Die Episodes
Category:The Lazarus Expedition