I'm Sorry

So today I suffered a loss. This is my way to cope with it.
You have been the best thing I've ever had. I'm sorry if I ever wasn't the best by forgetting to play with you. But I never thought this would happen. I expected you to be by my side forever. If only I had stayed with you, if I hadn't gone I would still have you in my arms. When I saw you there, I knew the time had come. But deep inside I kept praying it wasn't you as I ran. I should have seen it coming after this year. You were always so sad and I did my best to cheer you up. I hope you can see us from Heaven, and if you can I want to let you know that I loved you more than life itself. I remembered these days you used to sit by the window and just stare at the sky hopeless as if you knew something was coming. What kills me was that I never got to say goodbye. If I had a time machine I would go back and prevent you from doing what you did. Well I hope that you move on and that maybe one day when I die I can be with you and make up the lost time. I'm so sorry I was ashamed at you for a second. You need to know that eventually I'll heal but a whole piece of my heart is with you. I will treasure everything that belonged to you. I'm never going to be the same as you were the one who kept me going. I remember how I used to make paraodys that described our situation and we would always laugh about it. I want you to know if youre watching us that I love you forever and always.