Film V Session 4

== Session Duration ==
Episodes 1022-1059, 38 episodes
== Cast of Characters and Players ==
* Jim as Han Solo (Greedo)
* Ben as:
** Chewbacca
** Obi-Wan
* Sally as:
** Yoda
** C-3PO
* Pete as R2-D2
* Annie as:
** Princess/Leia Amidala
** Darth Vader
* Corey as Adam Lars/Luke Amidala/Luke Starkiller
* The GM as:
** Luke's Head
** Lieutenant Venka
** Captain Piett/Admiral Piett
** Bossk
** Boba Fett
** Captain Needa
** Unidentified Imperial Officer
** Commander Nemet
== Summary ==
At the start of the session, The GM wants to get started, but everybody else would rather talk about how Sally got suspended from school for freeing all the frogs from the dissection lab. Sally has no regrets and the others seem to agree it's badass, and the conversation starts to drift to the campaign Ben GMed. The GM finally uses that to remind them they're here for roleplaying.
On Dagobah, Sally asks Corey if he's decided between the blue milk or the red stew. Corey wonders aloud about which choice did Obi-Wan pick. Sally reveals that Obi-Wan made the stew. Upon finding out that Sally's character knew Obi-Wan, Corey realizes for the first time that Sally's character is the Yoda he's been looking for. Corey decides that if the stew can make him as powerful as Sally says it will, that he'll no longer need to take the blue milk to stay hidden. As Sally feeds Corey the stew, she reveals it's made up of various insect and arachnid excrements, or as she likes to call it, Obi-Wan's secret recipe of eleven turds and spiders. She offers to train Corey in the Force. Corey initially accepts, but balks when Sally makes it sound like he'll have to stay here for several years. Ben switches to playing Obi-Wan, who tells Corey that Sally is the best teacher in the ways of the Force. Corey reluctantly decides he'll train under Sally if Ben says so. Ben concedes that Sally is also the only teacher in the ways of the Force.
Annie switches to playing Princess/Leia Amidala onboard the Falcon and does a spot check through the window. She rolls an 18 and sees a creature appear and stick to the window. She asks if she knows what this creature is and rolls a 13 for knowledge. The GM tells her it's a mynock, a space-faring parasite. She goes and warns Jim and Ben, who's switched back to playing Chewbacca. Jim decides they'll all go outside wearing breathing masks. They go outside, and Jim starts shooting the mynocks. The cave starts shuddering. Sally switches to playing C-3PO still inside the Falcon, and tells Jim to stop shooting them, and asks how he'd like it if they shot him. Jim replies that's why he shot them first. He asks if he can't shoot parasites, can he at least shoot the ground, and does so. The cave bucks and heaves. Sally tells him she thinks that's a no.
Jim, Ben, and Annie rush back into the Falcon as the cave continues to shake and rumble. They take off in the Falcon and reach for the entrance only to see the "entrance" slowly closing in with the top and bottom filled with lines of teeth. The GM reveals that the "cave" is actually a giant space wyrm. The Falcon flies through the wyrm's mouth. Jim asks if there are any star destroyers in the area and is disappointed when the GM tells him no. Jim reveals that he knew all along that the "cave" was a living creature and that he agitated it deliberately to lead it to the star destroyers. Ben's impressed that for once, Jim managed to keep one of his crazy/stupid plans to himself for so long.
Sally switches back to playing Yoda as she makes Corey run around the swamp and climb the trees. Corey makes a fatigue roll and decides he needs a break. Sally tells him that now his training can begin. Corey is shocked to learn that that wasn't training. Sally explains how she was just having him sweat out what was left of the blue milk in his system, and he won't have to exercise like that anymore. Corey's glad to hear that, but asks if he won't need exercise to build up his Strength and Stamina. Sally tells him no, the midi-chlorians will do that for him. Sally asks if he knows why only Jedi wield laser swords. Corey replies that he doesn't know why anybody would wield a laser sword. Sally tells him it's because the Jedi use the Force to guide their laser swords, and if used properly, it's impossible to injure oneself with it. Corey is blown away by this revelation.
Corey asks how his training is to begin. Sally tells him to choose his own path. Corey decides he was drawn to a nearby tree. Sally tells him the tree is named Lord Elric Fluffypants, and that he's the last of his kind. She also tells Corey that he can sense his own power. Corey says it's full of midi-chlorians. Sally tells him Lord Elric collects them, and that he's a trap. Corey decides this is too important to ignore.
Corey checks out the tree and discovers a cave underneath its roots. He goes in. The GM tells him his sense of power increases and that a dark figure emerges. Annie switches to playing Darth Vader and is the figure Corey sees in the cave. Corey says aloud that Yoda must be testing him, and that Annie is just a manifestation of his own paranoia. Annie enquires if Yoda is training Corey. Corey tells himself to ignore Annie and she'll go away, addressing himself aloud as Luke. Annie identifies him as Luke Satrkiller. She realizes he must be a Jedi and declares that her son would never have been killed by a mere ruffian. Annie attacks Corey with her laser sword. He defends himself with his. They duel with their laser swords. Corey yells that Annie killed Obi-Wan. She gloats over this, and Corey decapitates Annie. When Vader's helmet and head fall off, the GM tells Corey that part of the helmet has broken apart, revealing Luke's Head inside. The GM plays Luke's Head, and tells Corey that he (the head) is Corey's future...unless Corey defeats his (Corey's) past. Corey decides this proves the cave was a metaphysical test after all, and asks if he passed.
Onboard Annie's star destroyer, she has gathered together a bunch of bounty hunters, including Boba Fett. She tells them for their bounty, they are to go after Luke Starkiller and that he's on a swamp planet with Yoda. Fett asks why she's hired them for this task. Annie explains that Luke murdered her son. Fett declares that he too is seeking vengeance, against the man who murdered his father, betrayed his mother to her death, and took part in the bloodbath that killed his stepfather. Annie asks the name of the person Fett is after. He reveals it's Obi-Wan Kenobi. Annie tells him that their quests are linked, and lies to Fett, telling him that Kenobi is travelling with Luke on the Millennium Falcon, and that if he finds the Falcon, both of them shall have their vengeance. Piett approaches Annie and informs her that the star destroyer Avenger has reported that they're hot on the tail of the Falcon.
As the Falcon is being shot at by the Avenger, Jim declares they need to go back to that space worm and annoy it some more. Ben points out that a) the worm is already annoyed enough as it is, and b) why would the worm attack the star destroyer instead of the thing that recently annoyed it by flying out of its mouth. Jim asks if there's a c). Ben yells in frustration, c) they're being chased by a star destroyer! Jim decides to change his plan and turns around, flying straight towards the Avenger. Sally switches back to C-3PO to ask what Jim is doing.
Onboard the Avenger, Captain Needa angrily yells at the Falcon, telling it that it better not be trying to ram them. As the Falcon flies past their sight, Needa tries insulting and taunting the people onboard the Falcon, even making a rude gesture at them. He orders the Avenger to tailgate the Falcon and see how they like it. Commander Nemet reports that they've lost the Falcon. Needa angrily decides the Falcon self-destructed just to make him look like an idiot. He indignantly declares that since this was all Vader's big idea, he's going to go give Vader a piece of his mind.
Sally switches back to Yoda and tells Corey that wasn't metaphysical and he failed the test. Corey argues that even though he saw his own head, it's still clearly attached to the rest of his body, so how could that not be just a metaphor. Sally explains that Corey summoned an avatar of Vader from Corey's fears, and that it reverted to metaphor only when Corey decapitated Vader, severing the psychic connection. Sally explains that the real Vader saw, heard, and felt everything. Corey asks if that means he killed Vader. Sally doesn't believe so. Corey asks how he was able to contact Vader. Sally tells him he must have forged a psychic link with Vader in the past and asks him if he ever felt he knew what Vader was saying and doing even though there should've been no way he could've known it. Corey says sure, but that was out of char- "No!" Sally interrupts him. There must be a reason. Corey asks how, since he's never even met Vader. He recalls that Vader said Corey killed Vader's son. He wonders if that son was on the Peace Moon or something. Then he remembers that Princess is Vader's daughter, and horrified thinks that he killed her brother. Sally asks who that is. Corey tells her it's Senator Princess Organa. Then he remembers that Princess' adoptive parents fed her blue milk, just like his did, and is horrified when he recalls that Princess kissed him on the mouth. Sally realizes that Princess must be Leia, the baby daughter the Organas adopted, and realizes this is very bad news. Corey realizes that he didn't kill Princess' brother, he is Princess' brother, and if Vader is her dad...He yells a loud, "Nooooo-" followed by Sally yelling, "Noooo-" Then Sally stops and asks Corey why he's "Nooo"ing. Corey explains it's because Vader, the most evil person in the galaxy, is his father, and asks Sally why she is "Nooo"ing. Sally explains that Anakin, the most powerful and evil Jedi who ever lived is Corey's father and is still alive. They both yell in unison, "Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!"
Pete says he hates to interrupt their "Nooo"s but something actually important just happened. He says on the bright side, the energy signature of their ship just went way down, literally, and that their ship is now very well hidden, but on the less bright side the dragonsnake is a real jerk, since their X-wing is now almost completely submerged in the swamp water. Corey asks what Pete is talking about. Pete reminds him that Corey did ask Pete to scuttle the ship. Corey asks if he did. Pete denies it. Corey is relieved until Pete clarifies that it wasn't him personally who did. Corey summarizes in his own words that Pete repeatedly taunted the dragonsnake from ashore and then the dragonsnake sank the ship. Pete insists he wasn't giving the dragonsnake difficult riddles. For an intelligent being. Sally declares that Corey can now stay with her here for the next 900 years.
Corey insists he needs that ship. Sally tells him he doesn't. Corey repeats that he does. Sally declares this is an argument that they must settle it the traditional Jedi way: Force Arm-Wrestle. Sally says they're just a three day's hike away from Hubert and Nancy, the two biggest boulders on the planet, and she calls dibs on lifting Hubert first since he's on a diet. Corey suggests that they use the Force to lift something nearby like his ship. Sally objects that there's only one ship. Corey suggests that while one uses the Force to levitate the ship, the other uses the Force to keep it down, force against force like a normal arm wrestle, and to make it best of three. Sally accepts. Corey tries to use the Force to levitate the ship, but Sally is able to overcome him, and uses the Force to push the ship even further underwater. Corey says it's now Sally's turn to levitate the ship while Corey tries to push it down. Sally levitates the ship effortlessly out of the water and caries it ashore, almost as if Corey wasn't using the Force to push down on the ship at all. Sally gloats that her victory was too easy. Corey pretends to be disappointed.
Onboard Annie's star destroyer, Captain Needa is berating her, telling her it's obvious the Falcon didn't self-destruct and that they should be tracking their asses through hyperspace and teach these punks a lesson. He then says, "And I'll tell you another thi-" but is interrupted as Annie starts Force-choking him. She says she doubts he will. Piett suggests that the proximity of large masses when entering hyperspace has been known to disrupt normal ion signatures and maybe that's why they've lost them. Annie orders the fleet to go into hyperspace in the direction of the Falcon's last known trajectory. Needa has time to gasp out, "Apology...accepted," and dies.
It turns out the Falcon is stuck to the side of the Avenger. Jim calls out, "Here wormy, wormy, wormy..." Ben tells him that this is without a doubt his worst plan yet. He says he'll go see if he can get the hyperdrive online. Annie switches back to playing Princess to say she thought he fixed it. Ben explains that it takes an hour to warm up the hyperdrive and that hour hasn't started yet. She asks why. Ben explains that if he'd been warming up, the Imperials would've detected his ion signature, but now they'll think it's their own. Ben leaves the cockpit to start up the hyperdrive. Sally switches back to C-3PO to say she agrees with Ben, that Jim couldn't have put them in a worse position if he wanted them to be captured by the Empire. She says, "You know, I think you're-" but is interrupted when Annie clicks Sally's off-switch. Annie asks what do they do now, since they'll have missed Corey's rendezvous by now. Jim recalls Corey raving about going to a Dagger Bar. He says he knows a friend who knows every bar in the Galaxy. Annie asks his name. Jim stammers, "Orlan...dough." The GM asks, "Orlando?" Jim decides that Lando makes a better name. Annie asks where Lando is. Jim stammers, "Orb...o' Spin." The GM asks, "Orbespin?" Jim decides that Bespin makes a better name, too. The GM realizes he now has a new planet to map out and suggests they reconvene tomorrow. Sally asks what land type this planet will be. She points out so far they've had desert, swamp, ice, ocean, sinkhole...The GM promises her it won't be one type of land this time.