List of Arbordale episodes

Arbordale is an American animated television series created by Bob Danio and Michael J. Weithorn. Produced for Zodiac by Zip Animation, Hanley Productions, and 20th Century Fox Television, the series focuses on the Swanson family and their friends on their daily adventures in the fictional small city of Arbordale, Wisconsin. It aired for ten seasons from 2002 to 2011, and was later revived in October 2020 for its eleventh season.
== Season 1: 2002 ==
# “Kyle Comes to Town” - In the series premiere, JJ befriends a new kid named Kyle, and defends him from the local bullies; when Phoebe (JJ’s sister) comes down with a cold and her diorama is due today, Marcia (their mom) tries to deliver it to class on time for her; Doug (her husband) and Roy (his friend) hire lookalikes of themselves so they can skip work and avoid their boss Mr. Mann (boss of the company they work for, EtCetera), but said lookalikes get their revenge by robbing a bank during lunch and framing the two men. [5D01] (January 17, 2002)
# “Sibling Rivalry” - Kyle tries to get JJ and Phoebe to stop fighting; Doug and Roy, worried that Chuck’s tavern will go out of business, decide to buy the tavern, only to accidentally sell it to the local mafia while drunk. [5D05] (January 24, 2002)
# “Mr. Swanson Goes to Washington State” - Mr. Mann personally invites Doug to a business trip in Seattle, only for the unexpected to happen when Doug accidentally loses his own boss. Meanwhile, JJ gets stuck up a tree while trying to retrieve a frisbee for his neighbor Eric. [5D07] (January 31, 2002)
# “JJ and Kyle vs. the Vault” - JJ assists Kyle in his quest to retrieve the last DVD copy of Pat Whimsy’s cartoon movie Moo-Man and the Seven Mice for Kyle’s cousin Charlotte before it goes back into the infamous Whimsy Vault. By mere coincidence, Mr. Mann plans a hostile takeover of The Pat Whimsy Company for his grand-niece Lydia (and to provide employees with a two-week vacation at the local Whimsy World), but Roy’s cartoon-hating brother Ray (portrayed by Tim Curry) wants nothing to do with it and threatens to murder Roy unless he can put a stop to the merger. [5D04] (February 14, 2002)
# “Wanted: The Dastardly Dog Burglar” - A frantic “dog burglar” is raiding the streets of Arbordale, robbing several people of their favorite things for the mob so that they can sell these items to the Korean black market in exchange for spicy chicken nuggets with time bombs stuffed in them, which will eventually destroy the mob’s biggest enemy, the Howyadoin Fried Chicken joint. Doug is at first unaffected by this, but later declares war once he realizes his entire cooler is empty, and starts a posse (including Roy, Alan, Hal, Sid, local bully Brad Tothebone, Dave, and Chuck) dedicated to finding out who the dog burglar is and stopping him once and for all. [5D06] (February 21, 2002)
# “Thank Goodness It’s Casual Friday” [5D09] (March 7, 2002)
# “Guess Whose Boss is Coming to Dinner?” [5D03] (March 14, 2002)
# “Life of the Party” [5D02] (March 21, 2002)
# “Into the Woods” [5D08] (April 4, 2002)
== Season 2: 2002-03 ==
# “The Perfect Gift” [5D11] (September 12, 2002)
# “Thursday Night Fender Bender” [5D13] (September 19, 2002)
# “One Stepsister at a Time” [5D12] (September 26, 2002)
# “The Best of Uncle Kevin” - While JJ visits for a sleepover, Kyle learns that his uncle Kevin, a criminal known for mailing time bombs to Australia, died in an Australian prison. Kyle, in an effort to make his dad Alan acknowledge his existence, decides to make his own tribute to him. [6D01] (October 3, 2002)
# “Not-So-Happy Together” - A new, super-sticky glue accidentally sticks Doug and Mr. Mann together for five whole days. Meanwhile, Kyle finds a friend in Phoebe when he offers to do her math homework for her on the same night Phoebe is supposed to shovel her neighbor’s driveway, but JJ suspects he has a crush on her. [6D02] (October 10, 2002)
# “Even Bosses Have Bosses” - Doug and Roy, tired of being pushed around by Mr. Mann, decide to lie to the company’s highest position, Chairman Fred Sachem, about Mr. Mann sleeping on the job, thus getting him fired. Doug and Roy eventually regret it when their new boss - Mr. Hawkings, a former sergeant - turns out to be even more of a pushover than their original boss, and plan to get him busted when Hawkings flirts with all the women at work. Meanwhile, Kyle tries to beat local bully Brad Tothebone’s high score on Galacticus. [5D10] (October 24, 2002)
# “What a Day to Play Baseball” [6D03] (November 7, 2002)
# “Kyle Toughens Up” [6D06] (November 14, 2002)
# “There’s Something About Phoebe” [6D04] (November 21, 2002)
# “JJ and Kimmy, Sitting in a Tree” [6D10] (December 5, 2002)
# “The Ad That Doug Forgot” - When Doug’s sudden insomnia gets in the way of his life, Marcia tries to find out how to stop it. As it turns out, Doug can’t seem to remember a commercial from his childhood featuring a “big, scary muskrat” until he finally finds out what it’s for via a VHS tape — it’s a commercial for Mart E. Muskrat’s Pizzeria. (December 12, 2002)
# “An Arbordale Christmas” [6D05] (December 19, 2002)
# “A Killer Sits Next Door” - Doug suspects their new next-door neighbor Henry Handelhaven to be a serial killer, only to learn that Henry is actually playing a serial killer in an upcoming musical. Meanwhile, Kyle accidentally gets Kimmy sent to the principal’s office, which almost kills his friendship with JJ. [6D11] (January 16, 2003)
# “The Maine Course” - Doug, with the help of Roy, tries to find the perfect lobster for his 20th wedding anniversary. After checking all the stores in town, Doug and Roy realize that the only place to get “real” lobster may be Maine. Meanwhile, JJ, Kyle, and Kimmy try to get their new gym teacher, Mr. Argos, fired. [6D12] (January 23, 2003)
# “Doug and Roy’s Sort of Excellent Adventure” - Roy joins Doug on his epic quest for groceries when the town’s two Melmarts are closed and they have to find the furthest Melmart from Arbordale, which happens to be 250 miles away. Meanwhile, JJ’s sudden obsession with a soap opera called Drowning in the Sands of Time heavily concerns Phoebe and Marcia. [6D09] (January 30, 2003)
# “Roy for Mayor” - Mayoral election season is here again, and Mr. Mann decides to run — only for him to be the only other one running for mayor besides the current mayor, John Grundy. As running against him would be too boring, Mr. Mann orders Doug to find an employee to run against him, and he of course chooses Roy. Unfortunately, Roy doesn’t feel quite ready to run against his own boss. All the stress ultimately leads up to nothing when Mayor Grundy wins the election yet again. [6D07] (February 6, 2003)
# “Thrice Upon a Time” - JJ, Kyle, Doug, Roy, Marcia, and Phoebe all experience three seemingly different events that somehow connect to each other. For starters, Phoebe’s smart pills and Doug’s strength pills accidentally get swapped, and now Marcia must get them back in their right places; it’s Take Your Son to Work Day at EtCetera, and Alan tries to get Doug fired by making Doug say mean things to his boss via ventriloquism; JJ and Kyle accidentally break Roy’s computer, and try to get it fixed before he comes back. All three things eventually come together when Alan gets fired and tries to kill Doug, Roy tries to stop him, JJ and Kyle accidentally fix Roy’s computer, Marcia gives the strength pills to Doug, and Phoebe gets her smart pills back. [6D13] (February 20, 2003)
# “Happy Birthday, Mr. Mann” [6D08] (February 27, 2003)
# “Bully’s Little Helpers” [6D16] (March 13, 2003)
# “Down at the Races” [6D15] (March 20, 2003)
# “JJ Loves Kimmy Just a Little Too Much” - While trying to teach the wrongs of sexual harassment to the school bullies, JJ is mistaken for trying to harass Kimmy, and is thus suspended from seeing her, which leads to the two trying to convince everybody what really happened. Meanwhile, Phoebe becomes a goth girl after receiving a D-minus in poetry class. [6D18] (March 27, 2003)
# “Too Cool for Fools” - JJ decides to get even with Doug on April Fools’ Day by setting all the clocks in town two hours back in an attempt for JJ to get more sleep after completing a 1000-word essay about the advantages of the Slinky, which unfortunately makes everybody in town (including the mayor) believe the town has somehow moved to California. [6D14] (April 3, 2003)
# “Big Brother Bruce” [6D17] (April 17, 2003)
# “Jealousy Thy Name is Doug” - When an old flame from Marcia’s high-school days, Marcus Crudley, decides to stay with the family for a week, Doug worries his days as head of the household are numbered. Roy suggests lying to her about Marcus being wanted in 34 states for murdering his past girlfriends — which turns out to be the ugly truth. Meanwhile, Kimmy suspects JJ is cheating on her when an old friend from preschool, Penelope, joins Mr. Robinson’s class. [6D20] (April 24, 2003)
# “Mr. Mann’s Bucket List” - A mix-up results in Mr. Mann thinking he has cancer, and so invites Doug and Roy to join him in his not-so-epic quest to fulfill the dreams listed in his bucket list. Meanwhile, Chuck is on the warpath when he keeps getting crank calls from none other than Kyle. [6D23] (May 8, 2003)
# “Company Wars” [6D19] (May 15, 2003)
# “Doug Swanson Must Die!” [6D22] (May 22, 2003)
== Season 3: 2003-04 ==
# “Who’s the Mob Boss?” [7D03] (September 11, 2003)
# “The Buckster Stops Here” [6D21] (September 18, 2003)
# “Employee of the Month” [7D01] (September 25, 2003)
# “Roy’s Night Out” [7D02] (October 9, 2003)
# “Kyle Kozlov: A King in the Making” [7D05] (October 23, 2003)
# “A Prowler Among Us” [7D08] (October 30, 2003)
# “Two Boys and a Little Girl” [7D04] (November 6, 2003)
# “Mrs. Robinson” [7D07] (November 27, 2003)
# “Dunk n’ Go Nuts” [7D06] (December 4, 2003)
# “On His Majesty’s Secret Santa Service” [7D10] (December 20, 2003)
# “Doug and Alan Must Relax” [7D12] (January 15, 2004)
# “The Prize” [7D09] (January 22, 2004)
# “The Jack Show” [7D11] (January 29, 2004)
# “Marcia’s Driving Lesson” [7D17] (February 5, 2004)
# “Phoebe the Hero” [7D14] (February 19, 2004)
# “Marcia Gets a Job” [7D13] (February 26, 2004)
# “It’s Every Man Against Pet Shops for Himself” [7D16] (March 11, 2004)
# “One Strike, You’re Out” [7D20] (March 18, 2004)
# “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Kyle” - Kyle officially declares his friendship with JJ no more after losing to him in a racing game, so Kimmy tries to do whatever she can to make them friends again. Meanwhile, Marcia forbids Doug from seeing Roy, seeing him as a bad influence towards Phoebe, much to their dismay. [7D15] (March 25, 2004)
# “A Tale of Two Companies” [7D21] (April 8, 2004)
# “Riot of the Town” - A riot at a hockey game leads to Mayor Grundy outlawing hockey from the town. Doug is upset about this, given that hockey is his favorite sport, and struggles to find a new favorite sport — until he accidentally discovers a huge, abandoned stadium underneath his own basement. Doug sees this as an opportunity to (secretly) bring hockey back to Arbordale, and secretly sells tickets to many people; even the mayor himself. The next hockey game that happens ultimately ends in yet another riot, but the mayor finds how much fun riots can be, and makes hockey legal again. [7D19] (April 15, 2004)
# “Act Like You Know” [7D18] (April 29, 2004)
# “Rise of the Donut Thief” [7D23] (May 6, 2004)
# “The Ad That Doug Begot” [7D24] (May 13, 2004)
== Season 4: 2004-05 ==
# “New Genius on the Block” - JJ and Kyle meet a new student named Calvin Corduroy, self-proclaimed genius and absolute smart-aleck. JJ and Kyle quickly grow to outright hate him… until Calvin winds up inadvertently saving them from Brad by telling a random kid to stand up to bullies and accidentally inspiring Kimmy to do the same thing. Meanwhile, Doug and Roy must deliver oil to a gas station in Kenosha, but almost lose their jobs when they lose the oil. [8F01] (September 16, 2004)
# “Misadventures in Parrotsitting” - JJ and Kyle are asked to babysit Mr. Handelhaven’s parrot Parry, but an unexpected visit from Calvin nearly ruins everything, and makes them almost lose Parry. Meanwhile, Mr. Mann competes against Ownitall (EtCetera’s competition) CEO Julius Silverspoon in a golf tournament. [8F02] (September 23, 2004)
# “We’re in the Money” - Mr. Mann gains an obsession with buying every company in America, and his employees try to stop him before he becomes too powerful. Meanwhile, when Calvin’s robot goes on the blink, he - with the help of JJ and Kyle - tries to fix it via coding, but a computer glitch results in the stock market crashing, thus encouraging Mr. Mann to give up buying stocks for good. [8F05] (September 30, 2004)
# “This House Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us” - Doug and Roy return from a business trip to Las Vegas only to find the latter’s apartment invaded by rodents. While an exterminator cleans out his apartment, Doug cordially invites Roy to his house for a week, only for the two of them to learn that they may be better off friends than housemates. [7D22] (October 7, 2004)
# “Mano a Romano” - Doug’s constant bickering with security guard Romano results in the latter getting arrested for harassment, which makes Doug look so bad that he and Roy want to get him out of prison. Meanwhile, Calvin’s trip to the corner store to get himself some milk is interrupted by Phoebe, who actually just wants to help. [8F03] (October 14, 2004)
# “The Perils of Penelope Parody” - Brad bribes Penelope into becoming his girlfriend. JJ tries to save her, but Kimmy worries JJ wants to leave her in favor of Penelope. Meanwhile, Calvin forces Kyle to look for comets as a birthday treat. [8F04] (October 21, 2004)
# “Scary Stories to Tell in a Tent” - Three scary stories are shared in a tent. In Kyle’s story, “Night of the Living Video Game”, a video game comes to life and invades Arbordale. In JJ’s story, “Attack of the 50 Ft. Sister”, Calvin’s growth serum ends up making Phoebe fifty feet tall. And in Calvin’s story is a retelling of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”, featuring himself in the starring role. [8F08] (October 28, 2004)
# “Marcia’s Bakery” - When her cookies prove to be successful at the church’s bake sale, Marcia decides to open her bakery. Unfortunately, she realizes the cons of running a bakery when she ends up fattening the whole town. In the end, Marcia ultimately decides to occasionally sell cookies over the phone. [8F09] (November 11, 2004)
# “A Reverend’s Worst Nightmare” - Reverend Phillips, tired of running his church, decides to sell it to Doug, but later regrets it when he converts it into a casino. [8F11] (November 18, 2004)
# “Christmas with Calvin” - Calvin goes through one problem after another while trying to buy Christmas gifts for JJ and Kyle. Meanwhile, Doug gets stuck while putting up Christmas decorations, and almost everybody in town offers to help — only for them to get stuck as well. [8F07] (December 22, 2004)
# “The Devil and Mr. Corduroy” - A failed experiment involving Diet Coke and Mentos results in Calvin being sentenced to do community service (as in cleaning up his mess) at the plaza, where he meets the girl of his dreams — unknowing that she’s an escaped delinquent from juvie who doesn’t want him and therefore has him unwittingly commit crimes around town to get him arrested or worse. After finding out about this via a weekly crime newsletter, JJ and Kyle must save Calvin’s life — and their own. [8F12] (January 13, 2005)
# “You Only Live Thrice” - While exploring a mysterious room in the office, Alan bumps into a suspiciously-placed tower of gas which puts him to sleep, and he wakes up on an island that is set to blow up in 24 hours. Mr. Mann, not knowing where he is, finds the gas leak and suspects that’s the case, but for a different reason: he thinks they’re making a spy movie starring Alan, so he and Doug drive to the island so that Mr. Mann can try to receive 10% of the profits. Meanwhile, JJ and Kyle are asked by Calvin to look after his pet rock while he goes to a Mensa meeting, but they accidentally get locked up in the pantry. [8F10] (January 20, 2005)
# “Boyz n da Woods” - Calvin invites JJ and Kyle to join his troop of Vulture Scouts, and they only agree to do so because they get scones as a snack. When their leader gets sick, Doug and Roy offer to be last-minute replacements, and things go awry quickly when they end up getting lost. [8F06] (January 27, 2005)
# “No Beer” - Mr. Mann begins to notice that Doug is slacking on the job, and he jumps to conclusions by blaming it all on alcohol, so he calls everybody in America who sells liquor and tells them to keep Doug away from beer at all costs. Doug, feeling depressed due to lack of alcohol, invites Roy on a road trip to Canada to get his fill of beer. [8F14] (February 17, 2005)
# “And The Loser Is…” - Doug, in an effort to show his skill, challenges Romano to a game of go-fish. When he keeps losing, Romano lies to Mr. Mann about Doug sexually harassing his female co-workers, and gets him fired as a result. Now jobless and running out of money, Doug sees this as a perfect opportunity to show his skill via a poker game to earn all his money back. But just as all hope seems lost when Doug keeps losing and losing, Mr. Mann catches Romano doing what he told the boss Doug was doing — sexually harassing his female co-workers. As a result, Romano gets fired for lying and harassing females, and Mr. Mann gives Doug his job back. [8F15] (February 21, 2005)
# “Moonlight River” - Mr. Mann, fearing Ownitall might have stolen his secret recipe for EtCetera’s NRG health bars, asks Doug to moonlight at the rival company in order to get back the recipe. [8F20] (February 28, 2005)
# “Doug Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” - A feud with Marco the paperboy over the newspaper’s price sends Doug to the bank, where he encounters a robbery. Following that, Doug starts acting paranoid, so Marcia and Mr. Mann send him to a mental hospital until further notice. Meanwhile, a shortage of Pop-’Ems cereal gets in the way of JJ and Kyle’s quest to win the Swansons a home theater via finding all 25 puzzle pieces hidden in certain boxes of the cereal. [8F17] (March 7, 2005)
# “Calvin the Greaser” - Calvin officially declares himself a failure when his latest invention — time pills, special pills that send users to a certain year (red pills send them back and blue pills send them forward) and let them exit with a simple snap — ends up getting a random kid lost in the year 1942. Because of this, Calvin is no longer interested in science and gives himself a new greaser persona. JJ and Kyle are happy at first, but soon begin to miss his old smart self, so they try to get him back to where he was. [8F16] (March 14, 2005)
# “Artificial Born Killers” - Wesley accidentally starts a rumor that Ownitall is secretly planning to launch its own chain of mobile phone kiosks. Mr. Mann gets word of this and tries to compete via his own brand, “Futurefone”, which fails. He sells the chain and starts looking for new ideas for products. Calvin sees this as the perfect opportunity to get his 15 minutes of fame, so he pitches 12 of his inventions to Mr. Mann, all of which he rejects — except for one: Miropal (Miniature Robotic Pal), who ends up replacing Roy. Because of this, Doug wants JJ to tell Calvin to stop what he’s doing. Calvin doesn’t listen, and almost starts the robot apocalypse when Miropal goes berserk — until Wesley saves the day. [8F18] (March 21, 2005)
# “A Star is Marcia” [8F19] (April 4, 2005)
# “The Stadium” - Mr. Mann tries to buy the naming rights to an up-and-coming stadium, and so is Chuck and his tavern. The problem is that Doug and Roy don’t know whose side they’re on: Mr. Mann’s or Chuck’s. Meanwhile, Kyle tries to prove to JJ that he can launch a chicken into space. [8F24] (April 18, 2005)
# “Cry Havakh (and Let Slip the Bogs of War)” - Alan hears the news of his great-great-grand-uncle Boris’ death, and is allowed his fortune under one condition: he must spend two weeks living in Boris’ mansion in the fictional Eastern European country of Havakhstan (not to be confused with Kazakhstan, which also exists in the show’s universe), and so invites his son Kyle and Kyle’s friend JJ, his boss Mr. Mann, and his co-workers (and, because he wanted to go, Chuck) on a trip to Havakhstan. [8F22] (April 25, 2005)
# “Boss for a Day” [8F13] (May 23, 2005)
# “Roy-ger Ebert” - Mr. Mann, fearing he isn’t the boss he used to be, turns to a stack of old videotapes to keep him back on his toes. Roy, afraid that Mr. Mann will give him more work to do, tries to get himself fired out of spite, and succeeds. Roy finally gets to pursue his long-awaited dream career as a film critic, but his new job may put his life at risk when Big Louie, leader of the local mafia, forces him to give his terrible movie a positive review… or else Roy will be killed. Meanwhile, Calvin gains an unhealthy obsession with skee-ball. [8F21] (May 23, 2005)
== Season 5: 2005-06 ==
# “Calvin’s Private Party Pad” [9F03] (September 8, 2005)
# “My Fair Phoebe” - Phoebe, wanting to fit in with more popular girls Karly and Kaitlyn, takes charm lessons from Wesley, using his Latino alter-ego Dante. Weeks pass and Phoebe is finally allowed to join Karly and Kaitlyn and turn them into a trio, but when they suddenly become less popular, JJ tries to jump to conclusions and eventually finds out the truth. [8F23] (September 15, 2005)
# “The Three Cheese Mac Story” [9F01] (September 22, 2005)
# “Oil and Trouble” [9F02] (September 29, 2005)
# “Mistaken Dougdentity” [9F06] (October 6, 2005)
# “New Treats, Old Tricks” - JJ and Kyle try to keep their Halloween candy away from Brad and his gang. Meanwhile, a Halloween party at EtCetera goes awry when Mr. Mann’s assistant, Wilbur Wozniak, is apparently killed, and hires a master detective to find out who murdered him. Alan and Doug are among the suspects, until it is revealed that Wozniak faked his death just for giggles. Rather than firing him, Mr. Mann decides to cut his salary by 20%. [9F04] (October 20, 2005)
# “To Live and Die in Arbordale” - Big Louie and Doug compete in a contest to win $60,000 dollars in life insurance. Louie ultimately loses to Doug and is convinced that all hope is lost — until he realizes that if Doug dies, Marcia will be able to collect the life insurance money, so Louie attempts to murder Doug so he can steal the insurance money and give it to Agatha, who needs life insurance. Meanwhile, Kyle is guilt-ridden when he eats JJ’s last Oreo while he’s gone. [9F08] (October 27, 2005)
# “Hot and Hotter” - After being forbidden from touching the company’s thermostat, Doug and Roy are given the rest of the day off and try to find new ways to beat the heat. Meanwhile, JJ and Kyle try to protect Wesley when his napwalking problems get out of control. [9F05] (November 3, 2005)
# “Take Me Out to the Company Picnic Ball Game” - The annual company picnic comes around and so does the baseball game between EtCetera and Ownitall. When Mr. Mann’s best star pitcher injures himself while skydiving, Doug decides to come to his rescue — only to instantly regret it. [9F07] (November 10, 2005)
# “Calvin and Clyde” [9F14] (November 20, 2005)
# “S.D.D.S.: Special Donut Delivery Service” [9F10] (November 30, 2005)
# “Doug Fu” [9F12] (December 8, 2005)
# “Cult Classics” [9F09] (December 15, 2005)
# “JJ and the Cheeramid Factory” [9F11] (December 15, 2005)
# “Stop or My Friend Will Shoot” - JJ and Calvin try to stop Kyle’s newfound obsession with calling shotgun on everything from growing out of hand. [9F18] (January 19, 2006)
# “Vice President Swanson” [9F16] (January 26, 2006)
# “Calvin in Love” [9F13] (February 9, 2006)
# “Pearl Just Wants to Have Fun” [9F17] (February 23, 2006)
# “Fools of the Trade” [9F15] (March 2, 2006)
# “JJ the Good Boy” [9F20] (March 9, 2006)
# “Battle of the Sexists” [9F24] (March 30, 2006)
# “A Little League of Their Own” [9F19] (April 6, 2006)
# “EtCeteraLand” [9F21] (April 20, 2006)
# “Split Personality” [9F22] (April 27, 2006)
== Season 6: 2006-07 ==
# “Liar, Liar, Starting Fires” - Doug and the other employees are laid off. Depressed about this, Doug barbecues himself a burger that catches on fire — until Mr. Handelhaven, who works for the volunteer firefighter department, comes to the rescue. After hearing about Doug’s job loss, Handelhaven convinces Doug to join the department with him. At the department, he finds that Chuck, Bob, Flint, and Dave are volunteer firefighters, too. Time passes and the firefighters have no fire to fight — until a visit from a muse (voiced by Dana Carvey) convinces Doug to secretly start fires on his own and not tell anybody about it. Unfortunately, what happens is that the townsfolk suspect that somebody is starting those fires on purpose, so Doug must choose between telling the truth or telling lies. Meanwhile, Kyle and Stephanie bond over their obsession with Galacticus II: Intergalactic Boogaloo. [9F23]
# “The Rich Swanson and the Poor Swanson” [9F25]
# “Country Girl Blues” [2B02]
# “Networking Man” [2B01]
# “Bowser and Buzz in: ‘Double Trouble’” [2B10]
# “On a Roll” [2B05]
# “Flint Missed Again” [2B04]
# “This Episode Does Not Exist” [2B03]
# “Two Plots: A Girl and a Pizza Place” [2B08]
# “Tree’s Company” - Phoebe tries her hardest to protect a famous tree from being chopped down. Meanwhile, Mr. Handelhaven’s whole world is turned upside down after learning he may be a descendant of Adolf Hitler. [2B11]
# “Roy Has Two Daddies” [2B13]
# “Romeo and Juliet and Doug and Marcia” - Marcia is asked to direct an upcoming community production of Romeo and Juliet, but is dismayed when Doug takes over the creative control. [2B09]
# “Bowser and Buzz in: ‘Tour of the Town’” [2B14]
# “Twosday” [2B15]
# “Arbordale is Where We Hail” [2B12]
# “Arbordale 3007” [2B16]
# “Boxing Day” [2B17]
# “Carmageddon” - When Doug’s car breaks down, he buys a new one from Japan which reveals to have a mind of its own. [2B19]
# “Fowl Play” - Doug allows JJ and Kyle to attend the annual Summer Festival, under the condition that they buy a birthday gift for Roy. They eventually wander into a store owned by a mysterious duck fanatic who sells duck merchandise, in addition to a rare "fortune duck" from China who could bring Roy good luck with the ladies. Roy is at first reluctant to get this gift, but eventually becomes known as "Arbordale's Hottest Man". Meanwhile, Mr. Mann decides to use the duck to become EtCetera's new mascot. [2B20]
# “Movin’ on Up” - Doug wins $1,000,000 after competing on the Know Your Life game show, and the Swansons move to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Doug quits his job due to his newfound fortune, and Mr. Mann struggles to find a replacement, eventually causing the company to cut ties with the telemarketing industry altogether. But because 75% of EtCetera’s sales come from telemarketing, and because EtCetera doesn’t do that well in most foreign markets, Mr. Mann must convince Doug to get back to work or else the company will fall into bankruptcy. Things do well for the Swansons until they learn that the million dollars they won were actually fake money created for the game show that could only be used at participating locations, not including the De-Luxe Apartments, which means the Swansons must move back to their old home, and that Doug can now get back to work. [2B18]
# “Role Swap: Part 1” - In a two-part crossover with the Tayven comic strip (or to be more specific, Life of Tayven), JJ and Tayven, tired of their families, go on a reality show so they can switch places in their respective families. While in each other’s towns, JJ and Tayven find how different life can truly be as Tayven has trouble adjusting to a small city and JJ has trouble getting along with the city slickers of Vetborn. [2B21]
# “Role Swap: Part 2” [2B22]
# “Now You C.B., Now You Don’t” [2B23]
# “Gone in 22 Minutes” [2B24]
== Season 7: 2007-08 ==
# “Phoebe’s Got Mail” - It’s a race against time for JJ and the boys as they try to stop Wesley’s love letter to Phoebe from being delivered. Meanwhile, Roy tries to keep his night shift at Ownitall a secret from Mr. Mann. [2B06] (September 20, 2007)
# “Gorilla Warfare” [3B02] (September 27, 2007)
# “Mr. Cleaner” [2B07] (October 4, 2007)
# “My So-Called Wife” [2B09] (October 11, 2007)
# “Singing Fish n’ Chips” - Mr. Mann changes Doug’s role in the company from telemarketer to door-to-door salesman, and assigns him to the Aphrodite Apartments, where Alan, who is taking a day off, lives. After finding out that Alan will be working alongside him in the same job, Doug threatens to quit unless Alan is satisfied with whatever Doug gives him, which just happens to be a singing fish named “Flopper” who can’t turn off unless the internet is out, which it is not. This prevents everybody in the apartment from getting a good night’s sleep, landing Alan in trouble. Meanwhile, Calvin goes on Dragons’ Den to pitch his latest invention, Science Chips, to the Dragons. [3B05] (October 25, 2007)
# “Classical Gas” [3B01] (November 1, 2007)
# “The Boy Who Cried Clyde” [3B03] (November 10, 2007)
# “Bright Lights, Big Trouble” [3B08] (December 6, 2007)
# “Paint That Peculiar” [3B04] (January 3, 2008)
# “Stephanie’s Pony Tale” [3B06] (January 10, 2008)
# “Kenya Hear Me Now” [3B15] (January 24, 2008)
# “Everybody Loves Roymond” [3B11] (January 31, 2008)
# “A Burger Nugget Day to Remember” [3B07] (February 7, 2008)
# “Five-Dollar Discount” - The day in the life of an ordinary five-dollar bill as it goes around town and manages to return to Doug, who previously used the bill at a pawn shop which he revisits at the end of the episode. [3B09] (February 14, 2008)
# “The One With Phoebe’s Friends” [3B14] (February 21, 2008)
# “Have You Seen Your Mother, Douggie, Standing in the Shadow?” [3B13] (February 28, 2008)
# “A Cup of Joe Average” - Mr. Mann orders Doug to move in with a guy named Joe Average in an attempt to find out what average guys like him want. [3B12] (March 7, 2008)
# “A Sandwich Named Desire” - After knocking his head on a cupboard full of silverware, Doug reawakens from a three-month-long coma, and suddenly finds himself in search of the ingredients for a legendary sandwich that, if eaten, will supposedly make Doug the greatest sandwich artist in the world. [3B10] (March 14, 2008)
# “Bob’s Big Break” [3B19] (March 21, 2008)
# “I, Cal-Bot” [3B16] (March 28, 2008)
# “Three Cheers for Three Cheese Mac” [3B18] (April 11, 2008)
# “We’re Going to Whimsy World” [3B17] (April 18, 2008)
# “Ice Cream Baby” - Doug gets fired from his job. While getting his car fixed at Jiffy Lube, said car rolls onto the highway, destroying it. Now, with the Swansons being forced to pay the insurance money while also having a lack of money, Doug is seemingly doomed — until he discovers that the man who owns the Mr. Creamy ice cream truck is looking to retire, which results in Doug buying the truck for free as a new job and a new way to pay the money for their insurance, which happens to be owned by the local mob, who in turn is also looking to steal the truck and use the Mr. Creamy brand as a front for their devilish operations. [3B20] (June 20, 2008)
# “Goodbye, Mr. Corduroy” [3B21] (June 27, 2008)
== Season 8: 2008-09 ==
# “Calvin’s Choice” [3B30] (September 18, 2008)
# “Smashomon” [3B22] (September 25, 2008)
# “Accept No Substitutes” [3B23] (October 2, 2008)
# “JJ’s Inner Wild Child” [3B25]
# “Like Father, Like Daughter” [3B24]
# “Arbordale Goes North” [3B28]
# “Smells Like Pre-Teen Spirit” - The kids of Arbordale all go through puberty, with Wesley and Kimmy in particular having the roughest time adjusting to new changes in their bodies. [3B26]
# “Romeo Jr. and Juliet” [3B29]
# “Anchorman: The Legend of Frank Holiday” [3B33]
# “Our Very First Concert” - E-Z Mart employee Dave lets JJ and Kyle go to their very first rock concert, but Doug, hesitant at the very thought, tries to sabotage the night of their lives. [3B27]
# “Book of Woz” [3B32]
# “The House That Doug Built” [3B31]
# “Kyle Kozlov’s Day Off” [1HD02]
# “Doug Day Afternoon” [1HD03]
# “World of Clyde” [1HD05]
# “News on Top of News” [1HD06]
# “Dances with Books” [1HD04]
# “The Father, The Son, and the Holy Macaroni” [1HD01]
# “Jack is Back” [1HD08]
# “Bowser and Buzz in: ‘Store Power to You’” [1HD07]
# “Arbor-Kid Begins” [1HD13]
# “My Mother-in-Law, the Fiend” [1HD10]
# “Skate Expectations” [1HD12]
# “Doug Strikes Again” [1HD11]
== Season 9: 2009-10 ==
# “A Taste of Honeydew” - JJ receives advice from a girl named Honeydew who claims to be his imaginary friend. [1HD15]
# “I Never Catched for My Father” - Doug admits to having never catched a football as a kid for his father Jack, and tries to make up for it with the help of childhood idol Don Grady. [1HD17]
# “Sgt. Alan’s Lonely Men Club Band” [1HD19]
# “Nightmare on Badger Avenue” [1HD16]
# “Guten Tag, You’re It” [1HD14]
# “Whose Ball Is It Anyway?” [2HD01]
# “Half-Hour Photo Shoot” [2HD02]
# “Phoebe’s Raincoat” [2HD03]
# “A Swanson Runs Through It” [2HD08]
# “The Patent Trap” [2HD06]
# “Down with Veggies: A Lesson in Anti-Nutrition” [2HD05]
# “Bob Gets a Job” [2HD07]
# “What Happens in Vegas…” [2HD10]
# “...Stays in Vegas” [2HD11]
# “Two Guys, a Girl, and a Police Chase” [2HD13]
# “Alan vs. Rock” [2HD12]
# “Kill the Bunny and Run” [1HD18]
# “Don’t Be a Menace to Society While Wearing Your Shoes in the Hood” [2HD16]
# “Upper-Class Clown” [2HD14]
# “Milwaukee Hen in: ‘Invaders of the Missing Cave’” [2HD09]
# “Jack Swanson, This is Your Life” [2HD04]
# “Arbor-Kid Returns” [2HD15]
# “My Beloved Marcia” [1HD09]
# “Backstage Pass: The Making of Arbordale” [2HD17]
== Season 10: 2010-11 ==
# “Swanson’s Island” [3HD07]
# “Dude, Where’s My Beer?” [3HD03]
# “C is for Calvin, and Calvin is for Me” [3HD04]
# “Leave It to Weaver” [3HD10]
# “Child Smarts Can’t Be Broken” [3HD01]
# “Turkey in the Raw” [3HD05]
# “Toon of the Town” [3HD06]
# “Wesley’s World” [3HD08]
# “Mr. Holiday on Holiday” [3HD12]
# “Steak at Stake” [3HD02]
# “Satan’s Kitchen” [3HD09]
# “Close Encounters of the Bird Kind” [3HD13]
# “Codename: Kids of War” [3HD11]
# “The Girl’s in the Band” [3HD14]
# “The Safe Tee Dance” - Doug and the guys search around town trying to find their missing golf ball. Meanwhile, at the cinema’s arcade, Kyle and Calvin get locked into a battle for the highest score in Dance Dance Convolution. [3HD15]
# “Bar Wars” [3HD16]
# “The Million-Dollar Suit” [3HD17]
# “Like Father, Unlike Son” - Principal Wilkins’ refusal to pay the mob $10,000 results in him being locked within his own home, which in turn results in school being closed until further notice. JJ and Phoebe are ecstatic about this, but Marcia, fearing to see her children grow up to be “hillbillies”, begs to differ. She forces Doug to take JJ to a game show called Gap in the Generation Bridge, where the grand prize is $10,000. [3HD19]
# “Hello Bruddah, Hello Faddah” [3HD18]
# “Boy Meets Pearl” - JJ’s sudden friendship with Pearl leaves Mr. Mann green with so much envy that he asks Doug to keep JJ from hanging out with her. When that doesn’t work, Doug and Mr. Mann plan a fishing trip with JJ… only for Pearl to invite herself. [3HD20]
# “The Wesley Next Door” - Wesley, worried that his love for Phoebe will never blossom into an official romance, turns to Mr. Handelhaven for advice. He takes Handelhaven’s advice, only to see himself become a young version of Handelhaven himself. Meanwhile, Doug and Roy start an oil change business after getting fired from Mr. Mann for personal reasons involving Mr. Mann’s marriage with his own wife. [3HD21]
# “All That Jazz” - JJ and Kyle investigate when a strange saxophone-esque noise keeps popping up at night. When they found out that it’s Calvin, they convince him to show his skills to the town, but when his new solo grows so popular that the people’s imitations end up deafening a quarter of Arbordale, Calvin moves to Los Angeles and bumps into Simon Cowell, who lets him get on America’s Got Talent. Unfortunately, Calvin ends up bumping his head on his saxophone and throws a tomato at his own face, which gets him featured on America’s Funniest Home Videos, which in turn gets him into a fight with the guy who sent it to AFV over royalties. When he loses the lawsuit, he moves back to Arbordale, ultimately deciding to do his own thing rather than being famous. [3HD22]
# “They Finally Do It” [3HD23]
# “Flash Forward” [3HD24]
== Season 11: 2020-21 ==
# “Fired at Home” - Phoebe vlogs about what the gang has been up to since COVID-19 began. [1RB01]
# “Game Jam” - JJ and Kyle try to make their own video game from the ground up in an attempt to win a free pizza party. [1RB04]
# “Halloween 2020” [1RB05]
# “Vaximum Overdrive” - Mr. Mann invents the world’s first drinkable COVID-19 vaccine (which, according to Mr. Mann himself, is “the first and only COVID vaccine that doesn’t hurt your arms so much!”). Mr. Silverspoon hears about this and orders his employees to make their own drinkable vaccine and get it on the market before Mr. Mann beats them to it. Meanwhile, Doug and JJ get a little too competitive over a game of Scrabble. [1RB02]
# “America’s Funniest Web Videos” - JJ, Kyle, Calvin, and Wesley receive their own 15 minutes of fame when one of their YouTube videos (which consists of a shirtless Mr. Robinson singing “Ray of Light” by Madonna) goes viral. [1RB03]
# “Bowser’s Outside Story” - Bowser, tired of being cooped up inside during the pandemic, escapes from the indoors and has a free day outside maskless, prompting Buzz, JJ, Kyle, and Calvin to stop him before he catches the virus.
# “43 and Me” - JJ, realizing that he and Doug share very few similarities, questions Doug’s legitimacy as his father and decides to take a DNA test on MyRoots.com in an effort to find out who his “real” father may be; it turns out to be Doug for real, but MyRoots.com beforehand mistakens Roy for his real father.
# ?
# ?
# ?
# “Drive Me Tender” - Doug gets fired and ends up getting a job as a taxi driver on Hitch, a parody of Uber and Lyft. All goes well until Mr. Mann coincidentally ends up with him as his taxi driver, leading to chaos when Doug’s incompetent driving skills clash with Mr. Mann’s bossiness.
# “Beware of Vlog”
# ?
# “Ketchup If You Can”
# “Love and Lumber”
# “The Wesley of Seville”
# “Orvat! Cultural Learnings of Arbordale for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Havakhstan”
# “Whatever Happened to Eric O’Hare?”
# “Robbin’ Hoodies”
# “The Fault in Our Scars”
# “Raiders of the Lost Pilot”
# "Undercover Mann"
# “Elementary, My Dear Swanson”
# “North by North Korea”
# "The Gang Saves Chuck From Bankruptcy"
# ?
# “The Last Temptation of Moptop”
# "The N-Word"
# “None of Your Show Business”
# “Dollar Store Movie Night”
== Season 12: 2021-22 ==
# “Who Framed Wesley White?” - Wesley gets framed for selling counterfeit Minimon cards (parodies of Pokémon cards). JJ and Kyle, not wanting to see their friend go to juvie, decide to become his personal lawyers and try to find out who is really selling bootleg cards… and the result is much more surprising than one could think (it’s Penelope’s stepbrother Julio). Meanwhile, Doug tries to improve his figure by getting an exercise bike. Marcia is impressed at first, only to slowly miss Doug’s lazy self. [1RB31]
# “From Havakhstan with Love” - Mr. Mann and his employees end up stuck in Havakhstan on a business trip to Japan. While Mr. Mann and Wozniak try to convert their money into Havakh buttons so they can fly to Japan, Doug and the employees look for fun in the Havakhstanian village of Babakikatoqushiniacowini (which is Havakh for “Toast”). Meanwhile, Marcia and the employees’ wives have a night on the town. [1RB32]
# “Save the Date” - Marcia tries to get Chuck prepared for a date with an old flame named Chelsea. Meanwhile, Calvin tries to restore the town’s power after accidentally shutting it down. [2RB01]
# “Hangin’ with Mr. Cooperson” - The Coopersons (from The Cooperson Effect) move to Arbordale when Steve applies for a job at EtCetera. There, he quickly befriends Doug, causing Roy to feel jealous. Roy asks Alan if he could help him get Steve fired. When Mr. Mann does indeed fire Steve, he plans his ultimate revenge against Roy. Meanwhile, JJ and Kyle befriend Joe and Jacob, and Calvin uses Cookie as his “lab chimp”. [2RB05]
# “Father from Another Family” - Lila asks Doug if he could help her with her homework, and they bond together extremely well. Unfortunately, Lila slips on Kyle’s banana peel and ends up getting memory loss, and now thinks Doug is his father. Doug, not wanting to hurt her feelings by telling her that she is NOT her father, sends her parents Lyman and Larissa to Samoa for two weeks, and Lila moves in with the Swansons. While in the attic, Lila comes across a series of video tapes showcasing her with her real father, and once Lyman and Larissa come back, Lila tells them she’s been kidnapped all this time, and threatens to call the police. To resolve this problem, Doug and Marcia take Lila and her family to a laboratory to determine Lila’s real father. DNA test results indicate that Lyman is Lila’s real father. [2RB03]
# “Baking Bad” - Marcia will stop at nothing to make sure that she gets the most purchases at the school’s annual bake sale, so Doug contacts the mob, who sneaks various drugs into Marcia’s cookies, cakes, and donuts. This in turn gets Marcia into trouble with the law, so Doug has the Swansons move to the outlands of Kansas. [2RB04]
# “Once Upon Three Times” - Kyle hosts an episode consisting of three shorts, each parodying a classic fairy tale: “Kimmyrella” is a parody of “Cinderella” starring Kimmy and JJ; “Phoebe Fo Fum” is a “Jack and the Beanstalk” parody starring Wesley, and has Phoebe return to a larger size; and “The Elves and the Barkeeper” has three elves (Doug, Roy, and Alan) helping a poor barkeeper (Chuck) get his big break. [2RB08]
# “Marcia and Louise” - Doug is disgruntled when his mother-in-law, Marcia’s mother Louise, comes to stay for spring break. Things start out well until Doug’s father Jack comes along to pick a bone with Louise over last Thanksgiving’s “Baby Turkey Incident”, pushing her to steal Jack’s car and take Marcia along with her on an on-the-lam road trip in a parody of Thelma & Louise. [2RB07]
# “Calvin Sings the Blues” [2RB02]
# “I Don’t Wanna Kiss the Girls” - On Field Day, Kyle and Brad must set their differences aside to save JJ when he is kidnapped by two girls who have crushes on him. [2RB09]
# “Extreme Makeover: Arbordale Edition” [2RB10]
# “John for Mayor” [2RB13]
# “Hurricane Alan” [2RB12]
# “Mr. Cool” [2RB11]
# “Singing with the Trains” [2RB15]
# “I Think (Like Rob Lowe), Therefore I Am (Rob Lowe)” [2RB16]
# “The Continued Adventures of Captain Total” [2RB14]
# “Wesley, Don’t Be a Hero” [2RB18]
# “The Calvin Show” [2RB17]
# “Looking for Mr. Goodman” [2RB19]
# “I Know What You Did Last Weekend” [2RB21]
# “The Homeless and the World” - Doug befriends a homeless lunatic (voiced by Charlie Day) who he invites to stay with the Swansons, much to Marcia’s chagrin. [2RB20]
# “Spin/Off” - Two screenwriters pitch three Arbordale spin-offs to Disney CEO Mickey Mouse. These include Mr. Hurricane, a Dexter spoof starring Alan, Calvin Corduroy: Kid Prodigy, a CGI-animated Jimmy Neutron parody with Calvin front and center, and The Wesley Show, a glimpse at the life of Wesley and his imaginary anime girl acquaintance, Konami Izumoto (now infamous for having one of the largest amounts of Arbordale fanart despite not really having anything to do with the show, nor do many associate the character with the show).
# “Live and Let Spy” - When the retirement castle closes due to problems with its only toilet, Jack ends up moving in with the Swansons for the time being — much to Doug’s dismay, so he decides to go to Chuck’s. However, Marcia forces Doug to take Jack with him, leading to Jack trying beer for the first time in 23 years. He ends up so drunk that he sends a YouTube video claiming to be the ever-so-mysterious leader of an evil organization called F.O.E. (The Federation of Evil). Incompetent but confident secret agent Olaf Mendoza (agent #00Nothing), who works for rival organization Worldwide Spies, finds the video and vows to destroy him and his company in order to save the world — leading to a series of comical mishaps that ultimately end up in the real mastermind behind F.O.E., Merrick, kidnapping Jack, Doug, and Olaf.
# “Calvin’s Law” - Career day leads to Calvin becoming the youngest police officer on the force, much to JJ and Kyle’s horror.
# “All Frogs Go to Heaven” - JJ and Kyle’s mistreatment of Calvin’s pet bullfrog Lance leads to a premature death. The boys, fearing that Calvin will torture them for accidentally killing Lance, try to find the perfect place to bury him without Calvin knowing. More problems ensue when a suspicious Calvin questions what happened to Lance.
# “Be True to Your Fool” - EtCetera’s reputation is on the line when their newest spokesperson, Mr. T (voiced by himself), is faced with a serious of past scandals that come back to haunt him.
# “Home Not Alone” - Feeling lonely, Roy decides to get a roommate with Doug’s help.
# “The Chief and the Gobbler” - Warren White, Wesley’s father, is fired after accidentally misfiring a gun while trying to teach kids about gun safety during their field trip to the police station. When the chief, Harry Canary, dies of old age, Warren sees this as the perfect oppurtunity for him to make a name of himself. Meanwhile, Doug and Roy enter Bob into a hot dog-eating contest.
# “Straight to the Moon”
== Season 13: 2022-23 ==
# “Opposites A-Pack” [3RB01]
# “Reality Bites” [3RB02]
# “Dicky M’s Big Fat Return to Jockeyland” [3B05]
# “World of Questions” [3RB06]
# “More Scary Stories to Tell in a Tent” - In "That's What I Like About Hexes", a gypsy curses Doug into a life of misfortune, leading to him and his friends trying to get him out of the curse. / In "Stark Raving Brad", scientists JJ and Kyle accidentally turn Brad into a raging, Hulk-esque monster. / In "Men in Turquoise", Doug and Roy learn that EtCetera owns a secret alien extermination agency. [3B03]
# “The Big House Theory” [3RB04]
# “A Tale of Two Teachers” [3RB08]
# “Auto Traitors” [3RB07]
# “42” [3RB11]
# “Yes, Arbordale, There is a Santa Claus” - After seeing two mall Santas in the same room, the people of Arbordale start to believe that Santa isn’t real, thus prompting the mayor to consider banning Christmas. He doesn’t, but the town does lose their faith in Santa. Doug and JJ, in order to bring the Christmas spirit back to Arbordale and stop the mayor from banning the favored holiday, try to find the real Santa just so the town can believe his existence. On Christmas Eve, Doug and JJ set up a trap so they can prove the existence of Santa to the town. They kind of do; they get Santa drunk and send him to a Christmas party at Roy’s apartment while Bob is in the parking lot, thus making the townsfolk believe that Bob was Santa all this time. [3RB10]
# “The Slap Heard ‘Round the World” [3RB09]
# “Tales of Swanson Past” [3RB12]
# “The Legend of Hurricane Hank” [3RB13]
# “Planet Arbordale”
# “My Dinner with Julius”
# “Sight of the Living Blind”
# “Sibling Rivalry II: Electric Boogaloo”
# “The Security Myth”
# “Mr. Mann’s Opus”
# “Calvin the Party Pooper”
# “How to Succeed in Laziness Without Really Trying”
# “Queen of the Hill”
# “Arborama: Part 1”
# “Arborama: Part 2”
== Film: 2023 ==
* The Arbordale Movie - On JJ and Phoebe’s 14th birthday (when, according to Doug, they finally reach adulthood), Marcia confesses that her marriage to Doug wasn’t her first, and that she actually married a person named Mars Spacely beforehand, and later gave birth to a guy named Cosmo, who (coincidentally) shows up to move in with his long-lost mother and her family, while also wanting to act as a “big brother figure” to JJ and Phoebe, an idea Doug immediately deems useless due to his beliefs. Meanwhile, strange graffiti symbols rapidly pop up around town, and Calvin tries to solve the problem via a new invention for the high school’s up-and-coming science fair, which he calls the “De-Vandalizer”. His first attempt to get rid of the graffiti goes pretty well, but when he attempts to do so in public, the graffiti won’t go away, which he finds odd, and, after some reachers, suspects the sudden graffiti invasion of being the work of otherwordly beings… which turns out to be the ugly truth.