Dragon Ball: Season 3 (Quotes)

Numerous quotations throughout the Dragon Ball series can be found in the appending sections, broken down in the following format. The following quotes are comprised of the Commander Red Saga, Fortuneteller Baba Saga, and a portion of the Tien Shinhan Saga.
== Season 3 ==
=== Sacred Water ===
:Korin: See, you should move like you speak. With purpose and clear direction. Commit your mind and focus. Distraction is the root of all failure.
:Korin: Well, well, well. It seems honesty isn't extinct after all.
:Mercenary Tao: I only hope he's enjoying today while he can... for tomorrow... ha! He will see his last sunrise.
:Goku: Today is the day, Korin. I'm going to get that bottle.
:Korin: Do, don't speak.
:Tailor: But sir... my money...
:Mercenary Tao: What? Tailor? You desire compensation for the privilege of servicing the needs of Tao, the great mercenary?
:Tailor: A simple token of appreciation.
:Mercenary Tao: Silence. I see. I have given you my business and in exchange you offer me... contempt.
:Tailor: Uh?
:Mercenary Tao: That's a bit too pricey. You see, people meet my needs freely out of fear, and if I were to pay you, it would make me look weak. I can't tolerate that sort of reputation.
:Tailor: Please, sir, I meant no disrespect. I only ask for what is rightfully mine.
:Mercenary Tao: Yes. You have made that clear.
:Tailor: No, no, no. No, no, no, no. (Mercenary Tao ruptures the tailor's head with his finger) Oh...oh...oh...oh... (the tailor falls and dies)
:Mercenary Tao: I believe I made my... point.
:Korin: Hm. Very good, Goku. You have learned that all I have to teach you.
:Goku: Eh he he he he he. Thank you Master Korin for everything.
:Korin: Farewell, young man.
:Goku: Eh he he he! Bye-bye! See ya later!
=== The Return of Goku ===
:Commander Red: I'm truly amazed at how far you've come in life... without a fully functioning brain!
:Staff Officer Black: Grr... (Black lights Red's cigar for him) Grr...uh...grr...
:Commander Red: Uhh?
:Staff Officer Black: Uh...are you sure you wouldn't like to send some of us to help Tao, I mean just in case?
:Commander Red: I'm sure he can handle it. I need you here for more pressing matters like handing me my cigars!
:Staff Officer Black: Right.
:Upa: You... you killed my father!
:Mercenary Tao: That's right. I have killed many things little heathen. And you're next.
:Goku: Don't you ever hurt my friend again!
:Mercenary Tao: You've no idea how lucky you are to be alive... much less talking. No one has ever survived my Dodon Ray. Kings and peasants alike have fallen to its power.
:Goku: My grandpa protected me. It was his four-star ball that was under my clothes.
:Mercenary Tao: Ah, yes. The missing Dragon Ball which I carelessly forgot to relieve you of during our last encounter. I won't make that mistake again. I must say, I've been looking forward to this moment... though I don't know which will be more entertaining... taking the Dragon Ball from you... or ramming it down your throat!
:Upa: Ah...ah...ah...ah...
:Mercenary Tao: There is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity, child. You don't really think you'll win, do you?
:Goku: I'll give you one last chance. Give me my Dragon Balls or I'll take them back!
:Mercenary Tao: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What a vivid imagination you possess! Three seconds. That's how long you have to live.
:Goku: Fight.
:Mercenary Tao: I don't fight. I annihilate. And when I'm done with you, you will be nothing more than dust in the wind.
:Goku: Whatever you call it. You hurt people. And I'm going to stop you!
(Mercenary gets stuck to the ground, the wind blows, and pops out of the ground with his suit all ripped)
:Mercenary Tao: That's the second suit you've destroyed! Grr! Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be to find another decent tailor!? Grr!
:Goku: You should worry about your fighting. Not your looks.
:Mercenary Tao: You dare question my abilities!? Well, then taste my Dodon Ray!
:Goku: Grrr!!
:Upa: Be careful, Goku!
:Goku: Go ahead. I'm ready for you this time!
:Mercenary Tao: Dodon! Gah! (takes a blast at Goku, but blocks it)
:Mercenary Tao: It's impossible! No one has ever withstood that attack.
:Goku: It can't hurt me anymore. Just like my Kamehameha wave didn't work on you last time. I guess we're even.
:Upa: Yeah! You did it!
:Mercenary Tao: Dream on! (gets out a capsule)
:Goku: A capsule?
(A Capsule turns into a sword)
:Goku: Hmm. Are you just gonna stand there, or what?
:Mercenary Tao: Hm! You should be greatful for these last few moments of peace before I take what little life you lived. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Huh? (looks at a rock)
:Goku: Let's get on with it. Yah! (flies up)
:Mercenary Tao: Gr! (kicks a rock)
:Goku: Ah...ahh...ahh...uh...Upa...
:Upa: Ah...ah...
:Goku: Ah...ah...uh...uh... (flies up and grabs Upa as the rock destroys his Teepee) Ah...
:Upa: Uh...
:Goku: You monster, I'll get you for this! (looks around as Tao disappear) Huh?
:Mercenary Tao: (after he gets to the Korin Tower) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! No one escapes the ravages of battle tiny. Unfortunately, ours will have to wait for now, while I take a trip on your precious tower. I'm feeling a bit thirsty. (climbs up)
:Goku: Go ahead and drink all you want, but you'll have to come down sometime, and I'll be waiting.
=== The Last of Mercenary Tao ===
:Upa: (as Mercenary Tao climbs Korin Tower) I can't take all this waiting. There has to be something we can do.
:Goku: There is. And I've put it off for too long.
:Upa: Ha! I knew it! You've got a plan, right?
:Goku: Yes. To eat.
:Upa: You have some trick planned. Otherwise, you'd be as worried as I am.
:Goku: No tricks.
:Upa: Ah, you can tell me, Goku. What's your secret?
:Goku: (yawning) A good nap.
:Bulma: How can you waste your time with that smut when your best student is lost and in peril?
:Master Roshi: Heh heh heh heh heh. Of course, you were very productive building that useless radar.
:Mercenary Tao: Do you have any last words?
:Goku: No I don't. And I think we've talked enough for today.
:Mercenary Tao: (to himself) I can't surrender to a child. I could never look at myself in the mirror again.
=== Confront the Red Ribbon Army ===
:Commander Red: I've told ye before! An underling should never look down at his leader!
:Staff Officer Black: You're right, sir.
:Launch: (looking on a radar screen to follow Goku's flying direction) I think that point might be right around the area where the Red Ribbon Army has its command center.
:Turtle: Uh!?
:Bulma: What!?
:Master Roshi: That can't be. He wouldn't do anything so reckless. I taught him better than that.
:Bulma: Yamcha! If we could just get in touch with him!
:Turtle: Uh...why don't you just call him on the phone.
:Bulma: Because we don't have a telephone either!
:Turtle: Uh... it's none of my business but why don't you just make one.
:Bulma: Ah...
:Turtle: You seem pretty handy with electronics. You can do it.
:Bulma: You're right. I can. Good plan.
:Master Roshi: Sometimes, genius just needs a bit of a kick start.
:Oolong: (to himself, after overhearing Yamcha talking on the phone about Goku being in danger) I sense a good deed in the works. Better make myself scarce.
:Yamcha: (on the phone) Okay. No problem. I'm on my way! (hangs up) Puar! Oolong! Come here!
:Oolong: (to himself) Rats.
:Yamcha: We've gotta go help Goku. He's going to fight the Red Ribbon Army!
:Puar: (fearful) Ahhhh!!!
:Oolong: (fearful) Ah...D-d-did you say the Red Ribbon Army!?
:Yamcha: I guess you've heard of them then. They're tough. But excitement's just what I need after a stint in this dull town.
=== A Real Bind ===
:Yamcha: (as they are flying toward the Red Ribbon Army base) We've now reached cruising altitude.
:Oolong: This trip is as far from a cruise as you can get.
:Bulma: I don't know why we even bothered to bring him. All he does is think about himself!
:Oolong: Why risk my life!? Gimme one good reason!
:Yamcha: You're going. It's not up for discussion!
:Krillin: Did I hear you say Goku's on his way to the Red Ribbon compound? By himself?
:Master Roshi: Yup. That's right.
:Krillin: What in the world was he thinking?
:Bulma: He's obviously not thinking!
:Oolong: You can say that again.
:Bulma: Yamcha?
:Yamcha: Huh?
:Bulma: Don't think this means that I'm not mad at you anymore, but this is an emergency. So we can bury the hatchet for now--but just for now! (Krillin, Turtle, and Puar go disappointed at this)
:Yamcha: Uh...okay, Bulma. We'll talk everything out later when we have plenty of time.
:Oolong: (cynically) If we make it to later!
:Commander Red: You blasted morons! You're all about as useful as snow shoes in summer!
:Master Roshi: That's some quick thinkin' there. Now how 'bout some quick kissin'?
:Bulma: You will never touch these lips!
:Commander Red: Maybe you don't believe this army is unstoppable, but I'd bet my life on it!
=== The End of Commander Red ===
:Commander Red: Idiots! Hundreds of trained professionals and they can't even handle one child!
:Staff Officer Black: But sir. The kid does display extraordinary powers.
:Commander Red: I can see that! I'm only missing one eye! I don't need you to point out the obvious, you imbecile!
:Staff Officer Black: Yes, sir.
:Commander Red: If you had trained those men properly in the first place, we wouldn't be having this problem!
:Colonel Violet: (while raiding Commander Red's safe, looks at the security camera) Consider this my severance package! (winks)
:Staff Officer Black: Commander, it looks as though the rest of the soldiers are evacuating as well.
:Commander Red: What!? This isn't a Democracy! Get them back here!
:Staff Officer Black: Please, sir. We should get out of here while there's still time.
:Commander Red: Retreat from a child!? Never! You overestimate his chances!
:Staff Officer Black: You mean you're going to fight him?
:Commander Red: No, of course not. You are.
:Staff Officer Black: If you want to see the Commander so badly, I'll take you to him. In pieces.
:Commander Red: You're still...?
:Staff Officer Black: Alive? Yes, commander sorry to disappoint you and I heard every word you said! Do you mean all of this was so that you could gain a few inches?
:Commander Red: You bet. And what's wrong with that?
:Staff Officer Black: It's a selfish goal. It has nothing to do with the Red Ribbon Army!
:Commander Red: It has everything to do with this army and my plans for the organization. These Dragon Balls are the tools I need to make this army and myself huge! It would be a grave mistake to underestimate my plan!
:Staff Officer Black: Your lame plan's going to get us all killed!
:Commander Red: I am the Red Ribbon Army! What's good for me is good for everyone and I want to be taller! All my life, I've drawn the short straw! I've had to contend with being a mere pebble in a land of giants! It is the curse of my existence! You couldn't possibly understand what it's like... the nightmare of being a genius, yet trapped inside this ugly little body!
:Staff Officer Black: I understand that loyalty means nothing to you! You sold me out for your vanity!
:Commander Red: What's really eating you is there's no "Commander" in front of your name! And there never will be! You want to know why? Because you're small time! You're just a lackey! My errand boy! At your age, it's pathetic! (Staff Officer Black executes Commander Red by shooting him clean through the forehead)
:Staff Officer Black: (after Commander Red's body falls to the ground) Looks like I've been promoted. You squandered your power but I will lead the army into a new era of greatness. my first order of business will be to rule this planet.
:Master Roshi: (after the gang pass a swerving vehicle piloted by Violet) Did you get the license number?
=== The Last Dragon Ball ===
:Launch: I know. Why don't we all play a little game? The first person that says another word gets shot in the face!
:Bulma: Why did you bring flowers to a battle anyway, moron!?
:Oolong: Because it's not a battle. It's a funeral.
:Staff Officer Black: It's time to be a great leader... and retreat.
:Staff Officer Black: (after Goku slams through the Red Ribbon Army Battle Suit in midair while he's inside) Eject! Eject! There's got to be a way out of here! This model has everything... but a parachute! Ahhh! (The Battle Suit explodes, killing Black inside)
:Launch: I say we go in there blastin' and whoever's left standin' after the bullets fly, wins!
:Yamcha: Uh...yeah...that sounds real sane.
=== Who is Fortuneteller Baba? ===
:Upa: I've never been away from home before. I'm scared.
:Goku: I know. New things are scary. Like leaving home for the first time or broccoli. But it gets easier.
:Krillin: (whispering to Goku) Upa's coy but I think she likes me.
:Goku: (to Upa) You are a boy, right?
:Upa: Yes.
:Goku: Hi. Is this Fortunecaller Baba's house?
:Ghost: Teller, Fortuneteller. And it's a palace, not a house.
:Krillin: If this gets ugly, I want you to know I'm behind you. Way behind you. In fact, I'll be in the airplane waiting to take off.
:Krillin: Fighting is what we do. We're practically experts. You don't know who you're dealing with. Three of us have actually participated in the World Martial Arts tournament. Very successfully, I might add. So, your crew should be no problem.
:Fortuneteller Baba: Well, guess I'm in the presence of greatness. I shall strive to make this challenge worthy of your skills.
=== We Are The Five Warriors ===
:Fortuneteller Baba: So the three of you brave souls think you can take on my five warriors. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Now this I've got ta see.
:Krillin: Heh heh heh heh. I know the odds are uneven, but don't worry, we'll go easy on 'em.
:Krillin: (after Fangs the Vampire shows up as a bat) A bat? This is a joke, right? I'm a fighter, not a zookeeper.
:Fangs the Vampire: (after sucking Krillin's blood) Thanks. I'll skip breakfast. Are you free for lunch? You could be the main course.
:Fortuneteller Baba: (after Goku rides his Nimbus cloud) That's not fair. He gets a cloud, I'm stuck on a ball.
:Yamcha: (about fighting against the Invisible Man) I've been doing this all wrong. I've gotta calm down and focus. If I can't see 'im... maybe I can hear 'im.
=== Deadly Battle ===
:Oolong: (after Launch quickly maneuvers the plane to avoid crashing) I thought I was dead.
:Launch: Well if you're disappointed, I can certainly arrange something.
:Oolong: No, no! I'm fine!
:Fortuneteller Baba: (to the Invisible Man) Your words betray you. Silence is your best weapon. Use it.
:Bulma: (Goku is pulling Bulma and Master Roshi with him in the sky) Where are you taking us!? Answer me! I don't have time for this!
:Master Roshi: And neither do I. I'm a busy man. There's a new exercise video at home that is in desperate need of my attention.
:Invisible Man: (after Yamcha defeat him with a powerful combination) I quit. Momma was right. I'm not cut out for show business.
:Bulma: (hits Krillin and shakes him in anger for pulling down her top) Normally I deplore violence--but in your case, I'll make an exception!!
:Krillin: I understand you're upset, but I just want you to know one thing: I love you! (Bulma bashes Krillin's bandaged head)
:Krillin: Master Roshi, since you and Baba are related, maybe you can put in a good word for us and she can tell our fortune without any more fighting.
:Bulma: That's right. Family helps each other out.
:Puar: No more fighting sounds fine with me.
:Upa: That sounds great.
:Goku: Hmm?
:Fortuneteller Baba: Are you kidding me? For family, I charge double!
:Master Roshi: What? You would refuse your own brother?
:Fortuneteller Baba: You bet.
=== Goku's Turn ===
:Yamcha: (after entering the arena with deadly acid below them which Baba wants her warriors to fight in) Baba, no offense... but you've fallen off your crystal ball one too many times.
:Bulma: (to Master Roshi) Your sister is rude, inconsiderate, and shameful. I see the family resemblance.
:Bandages the Mummy: I want to see your expression as you die!
:Master Roshi: The only person that Yamcha is fighting for right now is himself. His pride refuses defeat.
:Bandages the Mummy: (as he has Yamcha in a hold and is cracking his back) I once made a man's head touch his feet doing this. He's in show business now as the human pretzel.
=== The Devilmite Beam ===
:Bandages the Mummy: (to Goku) I don't know how you're still walking but when I'm through with you, you won't even be able to crawl!
:Bandages the Mummy: (after wrapping Goku up in his bandages) Relax. It's not every day you get to wear the cloth of an Emperor. Thousands of years ago, I controlled the world. And now it seems that I control you.
:Spike the Devil Man: So, I have to follow that hack mummy? No wonder I never get any fan mail.
:Grandpa Gohan: Eheh heh heh. Ho ho ho.
:Spike the Devil Man: What? Do you find something funny?
:Grandpa Gohan: Are you kidding? Look at me. This costume is ridiculous.
:Spike the Devil Man: Well, what did you expect? The good ones were taken long ago. That's what you get for ordering last minute.
:Grandpa Gohan: I don't know. It's just not what I envisioned. I was hoping for something a little more impressive. I think this mask might make me look fat.
:Spike the Devil Man: Heh heh. Your body makes you look fat. The mask just makes you look stupid.
:Goku: That sure is a scary outfit you got on.
:Spike the Devil Man: Thanks. I made it myself.
:Spike the Devil Man: The most destructive force in the world is negativity. It is true power. Negative energy exists in all living things. It's created from emotions such as fear, anger, hatred, jealousy, and aggression. I can manipulate this energy, convert it into beams of destructive power that annihilate anything in its path. And right now, my little foe, I have you square in my sights.
=== The Mysterious Fifth Man ===
:Goku: (to Spike the Devil Man, after the Devilmite Beam is ineffective against him) Wow. Can you make a color besides pink?
:Goku: (to Spike the Devil Man, after the Devilmite Beam fails to works against him a second time) Next time, can you try purple?
:Spike the Devil Man: (about Goku) I'm so scared. He's going to hurt me.
:Fortuneteller Baba: I hate disappointment.
:Grandpa Gohan: Of course. I'll do my best.
:Fortuneteller Baba: Heh heh heh heh heh. Yes yes. I'm sure you will. In fact, I'm counting on it.
:Grandpa Gohan: These fights are like the weather. No guarantees.
:Goku: I promise, I'll do my best.
:Grandpa Gohan: That's all anyone can ask, or you can offer.
=== The Strong Ones ===
:Grandpa Gohan: Goku's training has served him well. I can't believe he absorbed that kick. What is he made of? Lead?
:Grandpa Gohan: The afterimage is a difficult maneuver. Yet he handled it with ease. I'm amazed at how far he's come in such a short time.
:Goku: (to Grandpa Gohan) Can you hear me now? Do you surrender, or do I have to give you another punch?
:Yamcha: This isn't fair! It's not Goku's fault he loses his power when someone grabs his tail!
:Master Roshi: Ah! No it's not! But how did Baba's fighter know about it?
:Krillin: It didn't help that Bulma was shouting it out when we were inside.
:Grandpa Gohan: (after grabbing Goku's tail and rendering him helpless) Okay. Now that I've got you, what should I do with you?
:Goku: Uh...you could put me down. I'm feeling dizzy.
=== The True Colors of the Masked Man ===
:Emperor Pilaf: Sooner or later, that boy was destined to fall at my feet! I am Pilaf the invincible. Tonight I sleep without my night light.
:Emperor Pilaf: Once I have all seven Dragon Balls in my possession, the Eternal Dragon will be under my complete control. And if that big-haired freak so much as looks at me wrong, lets just say his short life won't be getting any longer!
:Grandpa Gohan: I will always be indebted to you, master, for taking on my grandson as your pupil. It is clear to me that under your guidance, he has found a mentor, not only in martial arts, but in life as well.
:Master Roshi: No, no, no, no. You give me too much credit. I only taught him the basics. His strength is as much a mystery to me as it is to you.
:Grandpa Gohan: Thank you my old friend. Now I can return to Other World with peace of mind.
:Master Roshi: Don't mention it.
:Grandpa Gohan: (whispering) Incidentally, does Goku still turn into a huge monster?
:Master Roshi: (whispering) Don't worry. Since I broke the moon, everything has been nice and peaceful.
:Upa: How can I ask Goku to bring my father back. What about Gohan?
:Grandpa Gohan: Ha ha ha ha. Don't worry about me. I love it in Other World. I wouldn't leave it for anything. I've got a lot of friends and most of them are brunettes.
:Master Roshi: Heh heh! Save some for me!
:Fortuneteller Baba: Shut up! (Baba smacks Roshi in the head) In all these years, you haven't changed one bit, you old airbag!
:Goku: You can't leave yet, Grandpa!
:Grandpa Gohan: Heh heh heh. Saying goodbye is never easy, Goku. But it is a necessary step before we can say hello again. And we will, I promise.
=== Pilaf's Tactics ===
:Emperor Pilaf: (in tears) I put you guys through a lot, didn't I?
:Mai: (in tears) Oh, it was my pleasure.
:Emperor Pilaf: But still, it's been tough for us all. But oh, we will have our revenge!
:Emperor Pilaf: So. We meet once again. Or should I say one last time.
:Goku: I know you only wanna get all the Dragon Balls to make some awful wish, but I have something really important to do with that ball, so hand it over.
:Emperor Pilaf: Heh heh heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh. What? You think you have some puny little dream that's worthier than my imperial ambitions? Maybe we should flip a coin for it.
:Emperor Pilaf: (to Goku) Sorry for the wait. We ran into a little glitch. But we can proceed with your destruction now.
:Emperor Pilaf: (to Goku, after Emperor Pilaf, Shu, and Mai have their robot battle suits transform into one large unit) So, you're throwing in the towel now, shorty?
:Goku: (after Emperor Pilaf, Shu, and Mai have their robot battle suits transform into a bird-like unit) What can a big bird do?
:Emperor Pilaf: Run. (Emperor Pilaf, Shu, and Mai try to escape)
=== The Eternal Dragon Rises ===
:Fortuneteller Baba: He certainly is amazing. And the entire world will know his name someday.
:Krillin: Huh? Now what it is that supposed to mean?
:Master Roshi: What do you know, Baba?
:Fortuneteller Baba: Just a feeling. I sense he'll be a great hero of his time.
:Yamcha: Whoa!
:Bulma: I thought he already was.
:Yamcha: Excuse me, Master Roshi?
:Master Roshi: Hey, Yamcha. Why such a long face?
:Yamcha: I've been thinking a lot and uh... I was wondering if you could take me on as a student.
:Bulma: Huh?
:Yamcha: I think living in the city is making me soft and I see what a good job you did with Goku so uh... what do you say?
:Bulma: Yamcha?
:Master Roshi: Uh-uh. No way. I'm sorry, son, but two students is my limit. I'm an old man and I can't handle anymore.
:Yamcha: Come on. I won't be any trouble, I promise.
:Master Roshi: It's too much work.
:Bulma: I don't see why you can't just give 'im a chance! You're nothing but a lazy, selfish, mean old grouch!
:Master Roshi: I'm not lazy. I happen to have things to do.
:Bulma: If you let Yamcha come and train with you, maybe I'll come visit too.
:Master Roshi: Ahh!?
:Bulma: Your place is by the water and I've got this new bikini I'm dying to try out.
:Master Roshi: (to Yamcha) Well, when could you start?
:Bora: (after being brought back to life by the Dragon Balls) Goku, I do not know how to thank you.
:Goku: You just did, silly.
:Bora: Someday, I will find a way to repay you. If you ever need help, please come find me.
:Yamcha: Guess what? I'm training too. With you guys. Under Master Roshi. He agreed to take me as a student.
:Goku: We'll have so much fun!
:Yamcha: Yeah! I want a complete training refresher right from the beginning.
:Bulma: I guess that's okay. Just don't pick up any of his bad habits.
:Master Roshi: Goku doesn't... oh wait, you're talking about me, aren't you?
:Goku: Do you think three years is enough time for you to get happy?
:Bulma: Grr... what are you trying to say?
:Krillin: (to Goku) Know what? I'll be a lot taller by the time I see you again. Maybe even taller than you.
:Goku: Eheh heh heh. I wouldn't count on that. I'll grow too, you know.
:Fortuneteller Baba: (sees Goku take a leak in her lake) No! You can't do that! Go find a bush, you animal! People swim in there, you dolt! Think about the poor creatures that live in that water!
=== Terror and Plague ===
:Plague: I don't know which smells better... the food... or your fear!
:Plague: (while holding an automatic rifle at the old man's face) Tell me grampa! What good is food if your belly is full of holes!?
:Goku: You won't find me in that book. I came here to defeat you!
:Plague: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. You're here to defeat us? That's a good one. Looks like you arrived thirty years too- (Goku yanks Plague and throws him across the area) Ahhhh!!!
:Terror: This boy deserves a worthy challenge. (Pulls out his sword) Lets see how well you fare against steel!
:Plague: Do we have any more heroes in the audience?
=== Goku vs. Sky Dragon ===
:Rising Dragon: (after Chin coughs) Aw, what's a matter? Is the mighty Chin feeling a bit under the weather? Well, that doctor is in and the prescription is pain!
:Rising Dragon: Sky, remember that punching bag you were gonna get me for my birthday? Don't bother. I just found one. Let me pound him, brother. (referring to Goku)
:Sky Dragon: Happy birthday.
:Sky Dragon: What's the matter? Am I still too great a challenge for you weaklings? Alright, I won't use my legs either.
:Shoken: How can you trust a stranger over your own son? If anyone's gonna replace you, it should be me!
:Chin: I will not debate with you, Shoken! Your arrogance blinds you to Goku's superior strength!
:Sky Dragon: You have robbed me of my vengeance, Goku. And for that, I thank you. In losing I have learned there is much I must atone for. Perhaps as Master Chin's pupil, I can start over.
=== Goku Goes to Demon Land ===
:Goku: Oh, so that's where the demons come from... the pothole of the dead.
:King: No. The portal of the dead. It means the doorway.
:Melee: Who goes there?
:Goku: I'm going over there!
:Gola: Wait. You need permission.
:Goku: What's a permission?
:Melee: I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised. What's your name, sport?
:Goku: It's Goku. What's your name?
:Melee: Melee. I'm the girl to know if you want to get past this point.
:Shula: You must be brave or stupid.
:Goku: I'm not either of those guys. I'm Goku.
:Shula: In that case, I'll fight you. As you wish.
:Goku: So, you're Shula.
:Shula: At your service.
:Shula: That little kid... he did me in! This must be yours. Heads up! (Shula tosses Melee's spear back to her)
:Melee: Of course. It's good for the soul to taste defeat sometimes, you know.
:Shula: I guess. Well, there's no use in letting a good party go to waste. You want to come?
:Melee: Why not?
=== The Rampage Of InoShikaCho ===
:Bulma: (Master Roshi is looking at some old photos of himself when he was young) Whoah! He's handsome! Who is he?
:Master Roshi: That's me.
:Bulma: Nuh-uh! That's impossible! He has hair!
:Master Roshi: I wasn't born bald, you know! I had a full head of hair once!
:Bulma: Someone's touchy.
:Tien: (after a tree falls on top of Goku) Poor kid. He's quite skillful.
:Chiaotzu: He was.
:Krillin: Master, don't mean to pry... why do you wear your sunglasses at night?
:Master Roshi: That's none of your business!
:Bulma: (about Goku) How can we make sure he's safe?
:Master Roshi: They say a kiss is good for luck.
:Goku: There are a lot of people tougher than me. That's why I'm out here training. The more I fight, the stronger I'll get.
=== Which Way to Papaya Island? ===
:Konkichi: My name's Konkichi. Eat all you want there, brother.
:Goku: Thanks. But my name's not brother. It's Goku.
:Konkichi: You saved my life. Tell me a better reason to call somebody brother.
:Konkichi: Stop kiddin' around, brother. Come on.
:Goku: I don't have any money, brother.
:Konkichi: You've been travelin' all this time without any money?
:Goku: Yeah.
:Konkichi: Then how did you eat... and sleep?
:Goku: I don't get it. How does money help you eat and sleep?
:Konkichi: Ah! Was it a joke!? You were really gonna try to get there by running!
:Goku: Sure was!
:Konkichi: Aw man, for someone who's traveled so much, you sure don't know your geography, do ya?
:Goku: (after Konkichi gives a kid a lollipop to make him stop crying) You sure are good with kids, brother!
:Konkichi: Aw, it's nothin'. They're easy.
:Konkichi: Brother, who is this woman?
:Goku: Oh, uh, sorry brother, this is Baba. She's one of the greatest tattle tellers in the whole world.
:Fortuneteller Baba: Fortuneteller! The world's greatest Fortuneteller!
:Goku: Oh, yeah. Fortuneteller. Sorry about that.
:Master Roshi: So, how do I look baby?
:Launch: Oo, I think you look very distinguished.
:Master Roshi: Distinguished? Darn, I was going for sexy.
=== Rivals and Arrivals ===
:Master Shen: Nice to see you've come out of your shell, Master Roshi.
:Bulma: Uh?
:Puar: Huh?
:Yamcha: Huh?
:Oolong: Huh?
:Krillin: Uh?
:Turtle: Eh?
:Master Roshi: Hm. Hermit Crane, what a surprise. After all these years, you're still alive.
:Master Shen: Heh heh heh. The lines on your face are just as deep, old friend.
:Master Shen: Inadequacy is always such a tough pill to swallow, but it sure beats public humiliation.
:Krillin: (to himself, about Goku) So he's grown a few inches. Big deal. Most of it's hair anyway.
:Yamcha: Just between us, how much stronger do you think Goku's gotten in these last three years?
:Krillin: Uhh... I'd say he's somewhere between tough and invincible.
:Jackie Chun: (to himself) As Master Roshi, I could never get an accurate measure of your true strength, but as Jackie Chun, I know you'll give me everything you've got.
=== Preliminary Peril ===
:Tien: It's a shame some people confuse technique with bravado. This time, the turtle will defeat the hawk.
:Anton the Great: And who are you supposed to be?
:Krillin: Uh... I'm your opponent.
:Anton the Great: Yeah, that's funny. You look more like toejam to me. You're lucky I can see the shine off your bald head, otherwise, you'd be dust right now.
:Krillin: I'm ready to begin now. Care to make the first move?
:Anton the Great: The first move I make will be your last, kid.
:Krillin: Ehhh... I doubt that.
:Anton the Great: When you squish, don't forget to scream!
:Krillin: (pretending to be hurt while in Anton the Great's grip) How's my acting? Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
:Anton the Great: Huh!?
:Krillin: Before I became a great fighter, I considered pursuing a career in acting.
:King Chappa: Don't be afraid, little one. I'll stop before I kill you.
:Goku: Thank you.
=== Then There Were Eight ===
:King Chappa: The fear inside you swells. But I'll replace it with pain.
:Goku: I can handle it, but thanks.
:Jackie Chun: (to himself, about Goku) Could it be possible the boy is stronger than me? Has the student surpassed the master? If so, what good am I?
:Jackie Chun: This years elimination round is tough, don't you think?
:Krillin: Perhaps, if you're not as good as we are. I'm not worried.
:Jackie Chun: Krillin! Only a fool would presume such arrogance!
:Krillin: Huh?
:Jackie Chun: There's no room in the ring for overbearing pride! Closing your mind to the prospect of failure will only ensure your defeat!
:Krillin: Too bad. But you sound more like Master Roshi than Jackie Chun.
:Jackie Chun: Huh?
:Yamcha: Yeah, you do. I'd swear you were him if you didn't have so much hair.
:Jackie Chun: Me? Master Roshi? Heh heh. Oh, I'm flattered. That's a good one. No, I'm just an old man trying to impart some of my wisdom to you upstarts. Besides, I'm not that handsome.
:Tien: After a hard days fight, I expect a decent meal!
:Yamcha: So go cook one!
:Krillin: (after Tien defeats Nam) Is he alright?
:Tournament Aid: He sustained severe injuries and head trauma but he should live.
:Krillin: Poor Nam.
:Tien: That's unfortunate. I should've hit him harder. Oh well, no one's perfect. An amateur like that has no business in a ring. He may live, but he'll never fight in another tournament again.
=== Yamcha vs. Tien ===
:Tien: I don't know how you do it. I don't think I can do what you do... survive on blind luck...? It's a shame you don't have any real skills of your own.
:Yamcha: Heh! You're the lucky one, bozo! You've only gotten this far because you haven't fought me yet!
:Tien: Heh. Poor Yamcha. Only thing more pathetic than a loser is a loser who thinks he's born to win.
:Goku: Hey, nice suit!
:Announcer: Yes, exquisite, isn't it? I had it custom made.
:Goku: Neat!
:Announcer: Nice to see the new generation taking an interest in good taste.
:Yamcha: It's a shame you're not gonna get past the first match.
:Tien: Tell yourself whatever it takes to get you in the ring, but then you're mine.
:Master Shen: I can't help it if all of Roshi's qualities are bad.
:Oolong: Hm. He has got a point. The old man is creepy.
:Yamcha: I'll start off real slow, Tien. You just try and keep up with me.
:Tien: Heh. Do what makes you feel good, Yamcha. It's your funeral.
=== Yamcha's Big Break ===
:Yamcha: What? What was that? I'm sorry, I can't understand you. I don't speak pain.
:Tien: What you lack in skill, you more than make up for in amusement. Though I do think your one-liners are just a bit over-the-top, don't you?
:Yamcha: You want over-the-top? I'll give you over-the-top!
:Tien: (after pounding Yamcha) For someone who doesn't speak pain, you sound very fluent.
:Yamcha: Y-y-you got...three eyes. Use them and read my lips! (Tien laughs.) I'm no quitter. I've trained too hard to lose this match.
(Yamcha comes at him again.) This one's for Nam!
:Announcer: (after Tien breaks Yamcha's leg) Why do the psychos always come out on my shift?
:Goku: Are you nervous?
:Jackie Chun: Uh-huh. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. Every day brings new challenges. And not all of them are confined to a ring.
=== Full-Moon Vengeance ===
:Man-Wolf: I've been waiting for this moment a very long time, Chun. Heh heh heh. A punch for every day I've been waiting.
:Jackie Chun: You must be confusing me for someone else. There's no possible reason for you to hate me, considering we've never even met before!
:Man-Wolf: You fool! Don't insult me! Do you expect me to believe you don't remember what you did in this very ring just three years ago!?
:Jackie Chun: Three years ago?
:Man-Wolf: Moon! You destroyed the moon!
:Jackie Chun: Oh, yes. Of course. So, uh, what did it cost you?
:Man-Wolf: Countless insults! (sarcastically in a ladylike fashion) "What a horrible beast!" "Quick, look away! Don't make eye contact!" (normal voice, whimpers) The indignation no one understands!
:Jackie Chun: I can't imagine why. Now that you're done sharing your feelings, can we fight?
:Man-Wolf: (shouts spitting at his face) You took away the moon and robbed me of my humanity! I think I deserve some of your precious time!
:Jackie Chun: But it's hard to stay awake. (yawns in sarcasm) Come and get me when you're ready to fight. (yawns and walks away)
:Man-Wolf: Big mistake!
:Tien: Given that I can't view myself, it's rare I see such exceptional ability in the ring. Jackie Chun is as close to perfect as is possible without being me. He'll be a worthy adversary.
:Chiaotzu: He doesn't stand a chance.
:Tien: Of course. But he'll try. His strength is matched only by his control. The mark of a great warrior. It's going to be an immense honor to break him!
:Man-Wolf: You stole everything from me! But you won't rob me of my revenge!
:Jackie Chun: You tried fighting me. That didn't work. What next? Are you going to try to slay me with more of your witless banter?
:Man-Wolf: Not quite! (pulls out a knife) I'll just use this big sharp knife!
:Announcer: Attention! All knife-wielding Man-Wolves! It is a violation of tournament policy to bring weapons onto the premises.
:Man-Wolf: I don't care about the tournament! I'm here to make you pay!
:Jackie Chun: Well then, why don't you quit whining and get this over with! I've got autographs to sign!
:Jackie Chun: You don't need a knife to bring attention to your discomfort.
:Man-Wolf: What are you saying?
:Jackie Chun: I sympathize with your situation and agree that you have a genuine grievance.
:Man-Wolf: What!? You agree with me!?
:Jackie Chun: You have issues. But I want you to calm down and play nice.
:Man-Wolf: No! Don't patronize me! I'm not a dog you can order around!
:Jackie Chun: I recognize your intelligence. You are in complete control of your faculties. Hand me your paw. Now.
:Man-Wolf: (after instinctively handing over his paw) Hey, what's the big idea!? Stop fooling with me!
:Jackie Chun: We're just talking. Now, sit.
:Man-Wolf: (after instinctively sitting) Scoundrel! You did that on purpose! (the tournament crowd is laughing) Listen to 'em! They're all laughing at me!
:Jackie Chun: (pulls out a bone) Want a bone? Come on, boy. Here you go. Fetch! (Jackie Chun tosses the bone out of the ring and Man-Wolf jumps out to grab it, getting disqualified)
=== The Dodon Wave ===
:Krillin: (to Chiaotzu) Despite what you may have heard, fighting requires movement.
:Oolong: (about Chiaotzu) I never would've suspected that cute kid as being the psychotic type!
:Goku: That's the same technique Mercenary Tao used!
:Tien: Eh?
:Goku: Huh?
:Tien: What did you say!? Who has the same technique as Chiaotzu!?
:Goku: Dodon. That was the name of the technique Mercenary Tao was using when I defeated him.
:Tien: If you say you beat Tao, you're a liar.
:Goku: It's the truth. Tao killed my friend's father!
:Tien: He was a great man. When did it happen?
:Goku: Hm. About three years ago, I guess.
:Master Shen: Let me get this straight. You're saying my little brother Tao was killed by one of Master Roshi's feeble-minded students!?
:Tien: Well...uh... yes, Master, but I...uh... I assume it happened on accident.
:Master Shen: Someone killing Tao is no accident! It's impossible! Especially if you're assuming it was one of Roshi's scum!
:Jackie Chun: I fear defeating Master Roshi's students will no longer be enough for Shen. He wants them dead!
:Goku: Uh? Do you think he feels that way because I killed his brother?
:Jackie Chun: Yes.
=== Counting Controversy! ===
:Jackie Chun: (to himself) I must admit, I'm impressed by Krillin's strength. It has improved a great deal. I wish the same held true for his patience. If he had bothered to learn the Kamehameha wave properly, Chiaotzu would be dust right now.
:Krillin: You think you're clever huh?
:Chiaotzu: Well, I'm no genius, but I'm smart enough... to know you're stalling.
:Jackie Chun: (to himself) I think Krillin enjoys the crowd's adulation for him more than the victory itself.
:Goku: Why did you attack me back there?
:Master Shen: Grr! My motive is obvious! You murdered my brother!
:Goku: Not on purpose! He attacked! I defended myself!
:Master Shen: Tao is dead! I don't care how it happened. You're still going to pay!
:Master Shen: (Tien interferes, not allowing Master Shen to kill Goku) Tien Shinhan! Tien, I don't remember inviting you.
:Tien: My apologies, Master. But I didn't want you to kill Goku.
:Master Shen: Explain.
:Tien: With all due respect sir, this shouldn't happen here. No one wants vengeance for this crime more than I. But there is no satisfaction in killing Goku here. A quick death is too good for him. He deserves to suffer as we do now.
:Master Shen: What did you have in mind?
:Tien: Tao was slain by Goku's hand, but Master Roshi guided it. He should watch his pupil die in the ring, broken, and publicly humiliated.
:Master Shen: Your heart is cold and ruthless. It warms my own. Proceed.
:Tien: I am honored, Master. (to Goku) And you, the next time we fight, it will be for Tao's honor.
:Goku: I'll fight! But it's not about Tao. This one's for Yamcha!
:Tien: Whatever gets you there! Just don't lose any matches between now and then!
:Goku: I'll do my best!
=== Goku Enters the Ring ===
:Manager: They worship you. It's love.
:Pamput: They don't love me. They love the movies and the press. They don't know the first thing about me. To them, I'm nothing but a product.
:Manager: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What does it matter as long as they buy it? The name of this game is zenny. I'm glad to see you're taking this fight seriously. I've got some interesting news about your opponent.
:Pamput: I know. He came in second at the last tournament.
:Manager: Yes, but that's not all. You see, according to my research-
:Pamput: I couldn't care less. Of all my fights, how many have I lost?
:Manager: Uh...?
:Pamput: Exactly. Now why don't you make yourself useful and leave. I like to sweat in private.
:Manager: Sure, Pamput. Sure. Whatever you say. I just want you to look your best, that's all.
:Pamput: I always do. After all, I'm Pamput and my best is the best.
:Bulma: Where is Launch?
:Oolong: She could be anywhere.
:Turtle: Just listen for gunshots.
:Tien: Well, I'm convinced Pamput can win the tournament... If he had a stunt double.
:Announcer: Well, he's extremely late.
:Pamput: It's expected really. I'm used to my opponents running away.
:Tien: He's no ordinary fighter.
:Master Shen: Indeed. I no longer have any doubt that he killed Tao.
:Tien: That's all I needed to hear. Now I'm getting excited.
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