Three Men and a Comic Book/Quotes

:(Living room. Homer is schlumpily watching TV.)
:Marge: Homer, it is seriously starting to pour. Will you please check on the boys?
:(Homer looks out the window when two bolts of lighting illuminate the yard, showing Bart and Milhouse fighting. One bolt barely misses the treehouse.)
:Homer: They are fine.
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:Comic Book Guy: Looks like you got more than you bargained for. (laughs sinisterly)
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:Lisa: If we don't get to the convention soon, all the good comics will be gone!
:Bart: Ah, what do you care about good comics? All you ever buy is Casper the Wimpy Ghost.
:Lisa: I think it's sad that you equate friendliness with wimpiness, and I hope it'll keep you from ever achieving true popularity.
:Bart: Well, you know what I think? I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich. (shows comics of Casper and Richie Rich)
:Lisa: Hey, they do look alike!
:Bart: Wonder how Richie died.
:Lisa: Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money really is and took his own life.
:Marge: Kids, could you lighten up a little?
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:Homer: A hundred bucks? For a comic book! Who drew it, Micha-ma-langelo?
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:Marge: (to Bart) So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
:Bart: Aw, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful...
:Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid.
:Bart: Me?
:Adult Bart (voiceover): Get a job? Were they serious? (Kevin's theme from The Wonder Years starts to play) I didn't realize it at the time, but a little piece of my childhood had slipped away forever...
:Homer: (interrupting the voiceover) Bart! What are you staring at?
:Bart: Uh, nothing.
:Adult Bart: (music comes back on) He didn't say it and neither did I, but at that moment my Dad and I were closer than never--
:Homer: (interrupts again) Bart! Stop it!
:Bart: Sorry.
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:(Bart, Milhouse, and Martin Prince discuss their ownership of the comic.)
:Martin Prince: How about this, guys? Bart can have it Mondays and Thursdays, Milhouse will get it Tuesdays and Fridays, and yours truly will take it Wednesdays and Saturdays.
:Bart: Perfect!
:Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about Sundays?
:Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about Sundays?
:Martin Prince: Well, Sunday possession will be determined by a random number generator. I will take the digits 1 through 3, Milhouse will have 4 through 6, and Bart will have 7 through 9.
:Bart: Perfect!
:Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about 0?
:Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about 0?
:Milhouse: Yeah!
:Martin Prince: Well, in the unlikely event of a 0, possession will be determined by rock scissors paper competition, best 3 out of 5, how's that?
:(Bart and Milhouse agree.)
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:Martin Prince: (to Comic Book Guy about the Radioactive Man comic) Can you let me have it for $40?
:Comic Book Guy: $40? You made me get off my stool for that?
:Martin Prince: It's all I got. I sold seeds. I visited my aunt in the nursing home. I fished a dime out of the sewer for God's sake!
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:Bart: (about Milhouse) Hey, Martin, tell him what we do with squealers.
:Martin Prince: (tied to a chair looking worried) I don't know. Is it worse than what you do with people who have to go to the bathroom?
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:Bart: (after the Radioactive Man comic is ruined) We worked so hard and now it's all gone. We ended up with nothing because the three of us can't share.
:Milhouse: What's your point?
:Bart: Nothing, just kind of ticks me off.