Hailey Britannia

Hailey Britannia (birth name Elizabeth ("Liza") Jewel Wobblebottom) is an English professional wrestler currently signed to the Waifu Wrestling Alliance where she works as a full-time professional wrestler. As part of WWA programming Hailey also hosts her own in-person interview segment "Taking the Piss with Hailey" in which she trades questions with her fellow wrestlers. 
== Early Life ==
Liza Wobblebottom was raised by a single father Arthur ("I'm a motherless c*nt", Hailey has said) along with an older brother William ("Liam") Wobblebottom. Liza's mother, Gemma Knickerstaine, has been missing since months after Liza's birth in 2001. Her father and brother introduced her to drinking lager and cider at a young age. Liza was known for her misbehaviour in school and has boasted about stealing Pokémon cards from other students. 
Also included among Hailey's family is an ancestor who died in British Imperial military service. In 1858, Corporal Oleander Wobblebottom of the Hospital Sanitation Battalion of the Queen's Own Foot Hussars died from syphilis while serving in Uttar Pradesh. Another ancestor of Hailey is, as revealed in old family journals, the serial killer Jack the Ripper.
== Professional Wrestling Career ==
When she arrived to the World Wrestling Alliance dojo in early 2023 Hailey had only minimal training and experience, having been thrown out of a wrestling school in London for aggressive confrontations with the trainer there who did not handle Hailey's verbal jousting well. When Hailey arrived in Spaghetti Town and entered the WWA Dojo, she immediately observed WWA Dojo Trainer Burger Bear enjoying one of his trademark hamburgers. Hailey then proceeded to cut an impromptu scathing tirade of a promo fueled by disgust for such American food. This improvisational skill of Hailey's made a favourable impression on Burger Bear, who later remarked (in writing): "She just gets it. Same as I always get extra sauce on Big Macs, Hailey just gets it." Britannia also took quickly to the ring and was soon finding herself booked on televised matches. Also in very fast time she was widely known as an excellent talker on the microphone, able to gain the audience's interest to further feuds and storylines with energetic promotional dialogue.
Hailey is known for her foul mouth and willingness to start fights, drunken or otherwise. She had a barnstormer of a match against Miss USA that later led to a mutual respect and the formation of the North Atlantic T***y Organization (NATO) where the two aim to dominate both singles and tag team competition side by side in the Waifu Wrestling Alliance. That period of domination began in earnest at WWA's very first Premium Live Event Waifus Collide where NATO competed for the vacant Tag Team match against The Bogans (Sheila Foster and Beera). In the time leading up to the match Hailey entered a period of intense promotional segments including profane rants on the quality of the Foster's brand of beer (which unbeknownst to Hailey Sheila Foster did not drink), a desire to force Beera to perform oral sex on Hailey's genitalia, and encouraging and enjoying Miss USA's firebombing of Sydney, New South Wales. Shortly before Waifus Collide Hailey produced a video segment for WWA featuring her intensely training for the championship match. This video (the first of its type in WWA) directly inspired many similar productions by other performers in the company.
On 6th March 2023 at Waifus Collide Hailey and Miss USA were crowned Tag Team champions after defeating The Bogans. The Bogans controlled the match effectively for well over ten minutes before it devolved into a brawl that favored NATO. Beera of the Bogans had a comeback chance to win with a leap from the top rope, yet she badly missed due to her intoxication. A flamboyantly showboating Miss USA then sealed the victory for NATO. 
Hailey then sought Sheila Foster for a fight so the two of them could hit each other more than the match at Waifus Collide gave them a chance to. Sheila accepted, on the condition of two rounds of beer at the pud should Foster win. The resulting fight took place as an in-ring match on WWA programming 12th March and Sheila was victorious. In a following segment Hailey arrived to the pub, paid up on the bet, and then presented an offer for Sheila to join NATO. 
As March of 2023 continued, no contenders emerged to take on NATO for the WWA World Tag Team Championships. The fourth installment of Hailey's talk and interview programme "Taking the Piss With Hailey" took place on 18 March and featured a lengthy ">State of the Tag Team Address" that drew attention to this lack of competition and called out five different tag teams by name. A brawl at Adolf's Pub during a Taking the Piss With Hailey watch party and the infamous Purple Rain of aubergines occurred shortly after the address, but several days later Hailey did get finally get some resolution to the lack of competition as Spaghetti Dog set up a contender match between Tropical Lovers and Warhorse. Prepared for this, Hailey took to the ramp and cut a promo declaring this match the "First and Inaugural WWA Tard Fight". This so-called "Tard Fight" was won by Tropical Lovers, which earned them a shot against NATO for the Tag Team belts at Showdown at Spaghetti Town and also earned them a mock trophy of soft plastic presented to them by Hailey. 
Near-Immediately after Tropical Lovers were given the WWA World Tag Team Championship titles at Showdown in Spaghetti Town, NATO were ambushed backstage by a dangerous car bomb crashing into the arena that interrupted a promotional address by Hailey. Warhorse were the perpetrators of this attack and very soon boasted their responsibility for it. Hailey and Miss USA were both laid unconscious, and Hailey stopped breathing. Amy Flame was able to resuscitate Hailey with mouth-to-mouth technique and soon she was recovering in Spaghetti Town General Hospital. Hailey was diagnosed with broken ribs and a serious kidney laceration , but soon (against doctor's orders) snuck out of the hospital thanks to a disguise given to her by Skelly Skelly . With bloody revenge on her mind (a "murderous mind state", in Hailey's words) Hailey sought to arrange matches with both members of Warhorse so she could engage in violent vengeance upon them. Hailey soon turned to her friend Sheila Foster hoping that she could be an enforcer for cage or cell matches, convincing her that such a murderous plot would be successful by using as an example the exploits of a legendary homicidal wrestler in another promotion. WWA protocol prohibited outside asisstance in cage matches, however- so Sheila was unable to go out there to help Hailey in her endeavour. In an Extreme Rules match with CAMO on 10 April 2023 Hailey did not need assistance to pick up a hard-fought weapons-match victory in which she pulled out CAMO's teeth at the end using her English Smile finisher. Subsequently Mare Equine was able to acquire a victory over Miss USA in a corresponding Extreme Rules match. Talented film director Miss USA then hired an actress Erica Wangbanger to portray a satire of Warhorse and of school shootings. The dangerous Warhorse were provoked ("worked into a shoot") by this and soon arrived tp a WWA ring for their own satire segment. Mare Equine fit her breasts into the star-spangled bikini of Miss USA and mocked a Texas accent to parody her opponent, and CAMO soon wheeled out a mock Hailey in the form of a kidnapped and brutalised Erica Wangbanger who they proceeded to injure further. The feud escalated even further when CAMO and Mare received a grisly delivery at home- a severed horse head with a note written in nineteenth-century style from "The Ripper's Daughter"- Hailey Britannia who had discovered in old family possessions a series of journals written by her third great-grandfather who was the infamous English serial killer Jack the Ripper. Warhorse countered with an even more dangerous move: a bomb in the form of a mock severed head sent to Hailey, a bo,b which aggravated Hailey's kidney injury when she fell back to avoid it. The stage was set for a From Hell In A Cell match at Bishoujo at the Beach. 
At Bishoujo on the Beach, 30th April 2023 NATO Defeated Warhorse in the From Hell In The Cell match. This was a dogged, violent brawl all the way through. CAMO clothes-lined Hailey ferociously through the top of the Cell and attempted to pinfall her but somehow Hailey found the resolve to fight on and climbed the Cell to continue the fighting between both teams which had been occurring atop the Cell for some time. Hailey then struck CAMO with a surprise and devastating European Uppercut which sent CAMO into the air and then crashing down through the Cell to brutally come down crashing into the mat. Hailey made the pin of a motionless CAMO to pick up the PWE victory. 
The From Hell in a Cell Match had severe consequences for its competitors. CAMO suffered the most severe consequence of all, as she died from a broken neck resulting from the uppercut and fall. Hailey's left kidney- the kidney previously severely lacerated by Warhorse's car bombing one month before- was irrecoverably damaged by a fall immediately previous to CAMO's. Hailey was rushed to hospital and underwent surgery to remove the kidney. During this hospital stay Hailey was informed that she lost two very lucrative corporate endorsement deals due to the controversy created by CAMO's in-ring death. Against the advice of medical professionals, Hailey left the hospital in a desire to return to the ring and defend the public perception of her only remaining sponsor, Pizza Girl 's restaurant Pizza Princess. A new competitor in Spaghetti Town's pizza business had emerged, Pizzoad- a restaurant of questionable quality who had gained notice due to hiring lower-level WWA waifus as spokespeople. Hailey vowed to stomp out Pizzoad and its endorsers beginning with The Boston Crab. 
Very soon after Hailey accompanied her NATO tag team partner Miss USA to the WWA ring for Miss USA's single match with newcomer Colby Jefferson. When Miss USA easily defeated Colby Hailey took the opportunity for choice nasty words aimed at both Colby and Pizzoad, which set up the match with Boston Crab that Hailey wished for. That match with Boston Crab was not as easy for Hailey as Miss USA's match with Colby was- Britannia needed to overcome some surprise early difficulties before finally landing a Bongzai Drop for the pin. It was soon speculated (by Colby and by others) that Hailey was not fully recovered from her kidney surgery and had rushed back to the ring too soon. Hailey may also have been very intoxicated for the match, for in addition to her in-ring difficulties she then cut a wild post-match promo in which she rambled about her genital grooming. WWA video engineers needed to censor a shot when Hailey did a pelvic thrust at the camera to display said grooming. 
Colby Jefferson saw potential weaknesses in Hailey's physical condition and erratic behaviour. In a Colby's Corner segment Colby called Hailey out for a match where if Hailey lost she would need to eat a Pizzoad pizza. Hailey soon brought out Mamma Mia to the WWA ring to present a Hailey Britannia Special pizza, a discontinued Pizza Princess menu item featuring British culinary items such as blood pudding which had killed at least one consumer with food poisoning during the time it was offered in March 2023. The stage was set for a match between Britannia and Jefferson where the loser would have to eat the winner's pizza. Infamously lustful Hailey however was also very fixated on her opponents genitalia, expressing an intense hunger for cunnilingus with Colby. On 14 May 2023 Colby and Hailey met in the ring, a match that ended very suddenly with Hailey quickly losing consciousness from a choke which forced a referee stoppage. A shocked Hailey complied with the stipulation and ate the Pizzoad product, expressing disgust for Pizzoad but also implying a respect for the woman who bested her. Hailey could not resist a quick grope of Colby's buttocks on the way out, then she departed with Miss USA expressing a want for NATO to pursue tag team goals. Those tag team goals were not pursued, however- as Miss USA ended up embroiled in a feud with the Yellow Empress , a wealthy and influential threat from China who took Colby Jefferson into her sphere of influence. Hailey had one ace of an idea up her sleeve however, and she would soon play it upon a vulnerable opponent who she had recently defeated. 
Hailey would soon reveal her plan in a promotional address on WWA television. The "Show Your Wabs" match was an innovative stipulation concept where the loser of the titular (pun not intended) match would be forced to have their breasts bared to the entire WWA audience, When Mare Equine wore Miss USA's bikini to taunt Miss USA Hailey resolved to punish Mare with this stipulation match and bare the Horsie's breasts for all to see. An aggressive promotional campaign for this match ensued, with Hailey also spending time in strenuous training with Burger Bear in his Burger Bear Gym. A video of this training session, along with other matches and segments featuring Hailey Britannia proved to draw very impressive ratings numbers. This success, combined with high rankings in the official WWA Popularity Polls (2nd overall in the main poll and 7th in the Hottest Waifu) drew renewed attention from potential sponsors. Hailey had previously lost most of her lucrative endorsement deals as a result of the deadly end to the From Hell in a Cell Match but corporate interests could not continue to pass up the draw of interest that was Hailey Britannia and soon she had a six-figure deal to work as a lingerie model for Victoria's Secret, producing video adverts that Hailey also included Violet Beauregarde in. The Show Your Wabs Match occurred on 18 June at the WWA premium event Onsen a Lifetime. Hailey aggressively brawled Mare Equine in a very long singles match but Mare weathered the storm and was able to catch Hailey with a violent double stomp for Hailey's defeat. Mare then tore Hailey's top from her chest, exposing Hailey's 34DD chest and pale pink nipples to the searingly hot ring lights for all to see. A tearful Hailey Britannia then apologised tearfully and sincerely to Mare for taking her partner CAMO from her, the very first time Hailey had ever apologised for anything in her wrestling career. The crowd was then shocked by an arrival from the darkness- CAMO who had somehow returned and was alive and well. Mare and CAMO and Hailey shared an emotional embrace, and Hailey left the scene crying and emotionally spent with the weight of the murder of CAMO cast away from Hailey. 
In addition to her on-screen role as a performer, Hailey has shown to be surprisingly adept at video production and has produced some promotional video material for WWA. 
=== Taking the Piss with Hailey ===
In late February 2023 Hailey began a recurring segment on Waifu Wrestling Alliance programming named 'Taking the Piss with Hailey'. The intended format of Taking the Piss includes Hailey's opinions on WWA events and an in-person in-studio interview with a planned guest that is similar to Broken Skull Sessions with Steve Austin Hailey is known not to hold back words and is known to ask questions intended to make guests uncomfortable. 
* Episode 1, 19 February 2023: Visiting guests included Skelly Skelly and Kid Curry. At the end of the episode a friend arrived was very briefly seen on camera before she and Hailey departed to go to a nightclub.
*Episode 2, 23 February 2023: Hailey insists that the then-winless Nikki Kade is not welcome to speak with Hailey until Nikki wins a match. Visiting guests included Yuki-hime . The episode ended with a cameo by Ash Romero and defacement of the studio's walls by Nikki Kade whilst Hailey slept.
* Episode 3, 9 March 2023 ("Championship Edition"): Hailey comments on her and Miss USA's victory of the Tag Team Championships at the recently concluded Waifus Collide, and gave additional biting opinions of other events at that show. Feature Guest was Mamma Mia , and following that was a very brief open floor session with fans.
*Episode 4, 18 March 2023 (">State of the Tag Team Division Address"): The intro to this episode featured two lengthy promo segments. The first segment addressed accusations of food poisoning in the Hailey Britannia Special pizza developed by Mamma Mia , which Hailey accused Pizza Princess' rival restaurant Burger Broad of perpetrating. The second segment was a whiteboard presentation, the titular >State of the Tag Team Division Address in which Hailey declared the superiourity of NATO and ran down five other WWA tag teams. Warhorse (CAMO and Mare Equine ) were likened to dangerous school shooters and criticised for a lack of strategic thinking due to their focus on lesser opponents. The Divine Angels were called out as deviant sex criminals and Priscilla Divine was accused to being more interested in belts to restrain Nikki Kade for sex acts instead of pursuing championship belts. The remainder of the Divine Angels were dismissed as a "jobber B-team". Bubblegum Crisis were criticised for their lack of appearances and accused of abusing MDMA in rave clubs. The Meganekko Powers were likened to the sort of anime that transgender people enjoy, and mocked for not hailing form an internationally recognized nation. The Tropical Lovers (Wild Emerald and Surfer Girl ) were accused of having a failing lesbian relationship including Lesbian Bed Death. The following guest, the feature guest, and only guest on the episode was Violet Beauregarde (No Not That One) who arrived to the studio inebriated. Hailey attempted to get Violet to expose her breasts, but was only successful enough to get Violet to flash her panties to the viewers. The episode ended before any open-floor questions due to an emergency of raining aubergines that concurrently struck Spaghetti Town during the broadcast.
*Episode 5, 16 April 2023 ("Cheers to Chaos/Running Down the WWA"): Hailey extols her victory over C.A.M.O. in their Extreme Rules Match, a match which purportedly ended with Hailey ripping out C.A.M.O's teeth with the English Smile submission finisher. She also lamented Miss USA 's loss to Mare Equine in their corresponding Extreme Rules match, and aggressively expressed a desire to meet them in a match at Bishoujo at the Beach and suggesting a possible Hell in the Cell match (foreshadowing future events). Hailey then remarked on recent events of Violet Beauregarde (No Not That One) 's transformation into the 'Nyx' persona, likening Nyx's crimson-marked appearance to menstruation and using this to support an endorsement for Feminax brand menstrual cramp relief. Hailey also complimented Amy Flame with a claim that Amy used her van as a "mobile fuckmobile" to facilitate sexual encounters with other WWA waifus. Hailey then showed appreciation for Skelly Skelly 's invitation to 'come at' her house and concluded the introductory segment with another plug for Feminax, exhorting listeners to '"nix the Nyx". if they "have a Raging Red down there". Hailey then conducted an interview with Ash Romero . Hailey expressed fondness for Ash, expressing her enjoyment of Ash's videos such as "Romero on the Road" and complimenting Ash on her fitness, appearance and voice. The interview (Hailey implied it was a 'first date') went quite cordially, though Ash was unwilling to give detailed answers such as a request from Hailey to describe inappropriate conduct and the smell of in Japanese female wrestling locker rooms.
*Episode 6, 1 June 2023 (" (I want to) Fuck All of You"): With the roster of the Waifu Wrestling alliance growing and the number of ongoing conflicts in the company growing with it, Hailey was very selective in her targets she shot on her introductory address to the fifth installment of Taking the Piss with Hailey. Amy Flame (a person who Hailey had never consciously interacted with) and Colby Jefferson had Hailey's name in their mouth for multiple promos prior to 1 June so Hailey gave a savage critique of Amy's faction-hopping, inability to fit in, and sexual exploits with very loose women such as Nikki Kade. Hailey also promoted the upcoming Show Your Wabs Match with Mare Equine at Onsen a Lifetime with Hailey showing full confidence that she would expose Mare's "firm and supple" "horse tits"- that is, that Hailey would remove Mare's top and expose her breasts to the audience as per the stipulation of Show Your Wabs. The enemy of NATO and (possibly manipulative) ally of Colby, the Yellow Empress was the next mark for Hailey to hit, Hailey expressing lust and desire for the beautiful Chinese newcomer and heavily speculating on the appearance of the Empress' nipples which Hailey postulated would resemble the candy known as Milk Duds. A key point that Hailey emphasised in her introduction was that at Onsen a Lifetime, the team of NATO would not have one match for fans to look forward to but instead two: Hailey vs. Mare Equine in Show Your Wabs and Miss USA versus the Yellow Empress in a fight heated by the Empress' hate of the culture Miss USA represents. The featured interview guest of this show was Hailey's close personal friend Sheila Foster. Hailey and Sheila eased into a personable conversation where Hailey lamented Sheila's loss in a ladder match to Raquel Durango (who Hailey referred to as "Dora the Drug Exporter") and endorsed Sheila - who had several victories in recent matches- as a competitor for the WWA Intercontinental Championship. The two previous Taking the Piss with Hailey guests, Violet Beauregarde and Ash Romero successfully won the Intercontinental Championship in the live events immediately following their appearance. Sheila then showed off her breasts in a bikini to Haley which invited comparison by Britannia to Mare Equine's breasts. The show concluded with Hailey and Sheila toasting pint glasses of lager to victory at Onsen a Lifetime.
== Personal Life ==
Like plenty of other Brits, she has a passionate love of Football/Soccer and watched the Premier League all throughout her life. However, her favorite side changes often, usually to whatever side is on top of the Premier League table! Boxing is another sport that Hailey has followed with interest at times.
Beginning in late February 2023 Hailey has shown noticeable weight loss, her weight decreasing from nearly 13 stone (180 pounds) to only 9 and a half stone (134 pounds) as of May 2023. Her remarks about this ("I hit the lines and got a clue!") along with her erratic behaviour, long nights at clubs, and her classic high energy delivery of wrestling promos have led to speculation of a cocaine habit.
Hailey has developed a level of fame that has crossed over beyond the scope of wrestling and beyond the territory of Spaghetti Town. In the United Kingdom she is often treated as a comical everywoman figure, an amusing national symbol of sorts (comparable to the popularity of Grado) and this has lead to endorsements and appearances in adverts (the most notorious of which is a frequently-played advert for webuyanycar.com ). Her uninhibited and aggressive international banter and lack of a 'politically correct' filter has led to a certain level of memetic internet popularity for Hailey as well, where many internet trolls admire her and rally behind her as their "Shitposting Queen." Hailey has been seen in nightclubs with certain A-list non-wrestling celebrity Waifus one of which is rumoured to be very closely linked to Hailey but cannot be discussed on WWA programming due to contractual and international security reasons.
== In-Ring ==
* Finishing Moves
** The Bongzai Drop (running senton)
** The English Smile (Mandible Claw)
* Signature Moves
** Hook In The Gabber (Punch with theatrics)
** The True Hand of God (European Uppercut)
* Championships and Accomplishments
** WON (Waifu Observer Newsletter) 5 Star Match (vs. Miss USA, February 17, 2023)
**Waifu Wrestling Alliance World Tag Team champion (as North Atlantic Titty Organization with Miss USA, won 6 March, 2023)
**World's Cutest Champion (1 week, 24 April 2023 - 1 May 2023)
**Highest viewed WWA match of all time as of 22 June 2023 (vs. Boston Crab on 11 May 2023, 543 Youtube views)
File:Studio.png|Taking the P***s with Hailey is Hailey Britannia's in-person interview segment on WWA programming.
File:HaileyB.png|Hailey Britannia is the Innovator of Nonsense
File:Bongzai2.png|The Bongzai Drop, a running senton, is the mightiest move to smash the mats of the Waifu Wrestling Alliance!
File:Hailey+punch.png|Hailey's signnature Hook in the Gabber hits as hard as Lennox Lewis and Tyson Fury combined!
File:Someone important sneaks into the shot of TTPWH.png|(Asuka please get out of frame, you're not contracted to WWA)
File:1677013678589544.png|When Hailey arrived in the WWA she weighed 13 stone/180 pounds.
File:Konpyuutaa 3.png|Hailey's unrestrained banter has endeared her to internet trolls, many of which refer to her as their "Shitposting Queen"
File:Hailey lean in to kiss.png|Hailey's public adress segments ("Promo"s in wrestling jargon) often feature lewd fanservice such as an implied relationship with her NATO tag team partner Miss USA
File:Scrap.png|"Versus Screen" image used for WWA match graphics
File:HB Hand of God.png|Hailey's dangerous uppercut, The Hand of God, is the very weapon that ended C.A.M.O's life at From Hell in a Cell
File:Hbscr1.png|'versus screen' image for match graphics