Open Season/Transcript

==Transcript==
[bird chirping]
[humming]
[breathing heavily]
[Boog roars]
[Beth roars]
Beth: Now, that's a roar, Boog. [giggles] Now get in. We're gonna be late.
[start car engines]Boog: Whew. No denying. The girl's got growl. But can she get down like this? Can you get down like this? Bring it here. Bring it. Then bring it right back, huh? Look at that. Look at that. [laughs]
[Wild Wild Life playing]
Boog: Here it comes.
[laughing]
Beth: Hey, Gordy.
Gordy: Morning, Beth.
[applause]
Beth: Welcome to Timberline's Wilderness Extravaganza. l'm Ranger Beth.
Boog: Please, put your hands together for Boog.
Beth: Behold, the mighty grizzly.
[roars]
[cheering]
[woman screaming]Shaw: * You can say I'm in love 
You could say I'm insane *
* But no one understands me 
Like my darling Lorraine.*
[imiating guitar playing]
Ha-ha.
Looks like you're going from one grill to another.
[laughs]
Beth: We rocked that house, didn't we, Boog? They were eating out of our hands. Well, my hands, your paws. Eating out of your paw. [snorts, giggles] That's good. That's going in the show. Shaw. That guy really chaps my khakis. You wait here, Boog.
Beth: Cuff him, Gordy!Shaw: Oh, the Girl Scouts are here.Beth: He's at it again!
Gordy: Shaw, hunting season doesn't start for three days. What are you doing with that buck on your hood?Shaw: What? lt ain't my fault. He ran right in front of my truck.Gordy: Where, on the interstate?
[the scene cuts to a flashback where Shaw drives right in front of the deer who is eating grass and runs him over; the scene then cuts back to the present day]Shaw: [chuckles] Sort of.
Beth: [groans]
[horn honks]
Boog: Where is that girl?
[Elliot gibberish]
Boog: Huh? [sniffs] Whew. That's nasty.
[both screaming]Elliot: What? What the...? What's going on? Where am l? l saw a bright light and... l saw two bright lights and.... Am l dead?Boog: Not yet. But seeing how that is Shaw's truck--Elliot: What's a Shaw?Boog: Only the nastiest hunter in town.Elliot: A hunter?! Did he get you too?Boog: You don't see me tied up, do you, baby? This is my ride.Elliot: Your ride?Boog: Yeah, this is my town, OK? These are my people. This is where l reside. (chuckles) Nobody's hunting this bear.Elliot: Really? Well, then untie me. Please? Look, no one's looking.Boog: Ain't gonna be able to do it.Elliot: What are we gonna do? l don't wanna be mounted on a wall.Boog: Calm down. Ain't gonna happen.Elliot: lt's not?Boog: Not with that rack.Elliot: l don't have a problem with... [screams] My.... lt's.... l'm a unihorn. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. l'm hideous! l'm a monster! [sobs]
Shaw: Tree-hugger.Beth: Knuckle dragger.Shaw: Veggieburger.Gordy: All right, all right. That's enough, you two.Shaw: Listen, Girl Scout, they're dumb animals. l'm just respecting the natural order: man on top, animals on the bottom. But your bear... Now, now, your bear is special. He belongs somewhere in the middle. Between two slices of rye, smothered in gravy! (laughs)Beth: (to Shaw stubbornly) You're a sick, sick, twisted puppy, Shaw.
Shaw: Put me down for a box of Thin Mints, will you, sweetie? [laughing]
Beth: Six-toed gun monkey. Boog, come on, let's get out of here.Elliot: Come on, l'm begging you. Please, please. Just untie me. Come on. Please, please, please? [sobs]
(Boog unties Elliot)
Shaw: Huh?
Boog: Hey, go on now. Scamper on back to the woods, little buddy.
Little one-horned freak.
Elliot the deer: Buddy? He called me "buddy."
Shaw: My buck!
(Elliot screams, crashing headlight as Shaw shoots)Shaw: My truck! Why, you little...
Gordy: Shaw, no shooting in town.
Shaw: (to sheriff) But, Gordy, that bear leaned over and untied my buck. Didn't you see that?
Gordy: [chuckles] All l see is a busted headlight. Shaw, you've been living in the woods too long.
[men laughing]
Shaw: [sighs] They can't tell me what l seen, 'cause only l know what l seen.
[crowd on TV] Wheel of Fortune!
[Wheel of Fortune playing]
Boog: Big money got to come. Come on.
Beth: OK, buddy, time for bed. (she turns off the TV, but Boog switches it on)
Man on TV: Five hundred-- There's no R--
Beth: Boog. (she turns off the TV again) Mr. Dinkleman's waiting. Good night, big guy. Oh, did l forget something? No, no, no. No more treats for you.
No, stop it. [laughs] Not the face. Oh, no, not the eyebrows too. No, it's not gonna work this time. Stop it. l'm serious, Boog. lt's cute, but no-- All right.
* 
* If you go out in the woods today
* 
* You're sure of a big surprise *
* 
* If you go out in the woods today
* 
* You'd better go in disguise *
* 
* For every bear
* That ever there was *
* 
* Will gather there together because *
* 
* Today's the day *
* 
* The teddy bears have their picnic *
[whispers] Good night, Boog.
[yelping]
Boog: Who's there?
Boog: l'm warning you. l got ten claws and l ain't afraid to use them.Elliot: Hey, buddy. lt's me, Elliot.Boog: What are you doing here?Elliot: You helped me, l'm returning the favor.
l'm busting you out of here. Let's go. Let's do this.
Come on! Let's book it before the warden makes her rounds.Boog: No, cornflake. You've got it all twisted. This here is my home.Elliot: Sweet.Boog: Now haul your little butt back out that window.
Elliot: What's this?
Boog: Get off of that.
Elliot: So soft. What is that?
Boog: What are you doing in there?
Elliot: Woo-hoo! This place is big enough for two.
Boog: What?
Elliot: Wow, look at that. Does this look natural?
Boog: Give me that.
Elliot: Oh, who's this little guy?
Boog: Dinkleman.Elliot: Dinkleman? [scoffs] ls Dinkleman your doll?
Boog: l don't care about that old thing.
Elliot: Oh, l get it. You're like a pet.Boog: l ain't nobody's pet.Elliot: Right.
Boog: l do what l want, when l want, and l come and go as l please.
Elliot: Well, then let's go.
Boog: Outside? Why would l wanna go outside when l got all l need in.... (sniffing) Whoa, what's that?
Elliot: l call them Woo Hoos, like: Woo-hoo! You want one? l know where there's a bunch of them, but you gotta go... ...outside. lnside. Outside. Inside. Outside.
Boog: Stop it. Stupid nose.
Elliot: lnside. Outsi--
Boog: Woo-hoo! (laughs)
Elliot: OK, l got that Woo Hoo right out of one of those container doohickeys.
Boog: You got that out the garbage? Ugh! Blech! l had that in my mouth and everything. [sniffing]
Elliot: Dude, you're freaking me out with that nose thing.
Boog: Whoa.
Elliot: What is it?
Boog: It's a whole Woo Hoo village.
Elliot: Sweet.
Boog: lt's locked. Maybe we should come back tomorrow.
Man: Hey!
(crashing)
Boog: Elliot, look what you.... You did.
You gonna get us in some trouble.
The Woo Hoo bar. She's my lady.
Smooth and creamy. So bad, l shouldn't. Yet l will.
[I Wanna Lose Control playing]
Woo!
Elliot: What is that?
Boog: Whoa, let me try.
Elliot: Boog. Boog?
Boog: Hello, idiot.
Elliot: (squeaky voices) lt's "Elliot."
[both laughing squeaky]
Both: Whoo!
Elliot: l come in peace. Woo!
Boog: l'm foraging.
Elliot: Pepperoni!
[both laughing]
[siren wailing]
Boog: All right. Yeah, there it is. Let's go.
Elliot: Boog, party's over, let's go.
Boog: All right, yeah, there it is.
Gordy: Freeze.
Boog: Behold, the mighty grizzly. Good night.
*
*
* 
* If you go out in the woods today
* There's gonna be some fries *
* [chuckles]
* Yeah, and the giraffes...
* ...they taste almost exactly like the elephants. That's messed up.
* Hey, Gordy. Huh?
* Uh-uh. Back up quick, before she sees me.
* [grunts, groans]
Beth: You are in big trouble, mister.
Boog: Shush. Ow!
Beth: [gasps] You know what sugar does to you, Boog. Straight to bed, now! l'm so sorry. lt's my fault. lt won't happen again.
Gordy: What if he had hurt someone?
Beth: Gordy, please. We're talking about Boog here.
Boog: Hey, what are you looking at? l told you not to wait up.
Beth: I know. l'll take him back to the woods.
Gordy: It's time to put him where he belongs.
Beth: No, no, he's not ready to go back yet. l mean, it's not my fault. l tried to teach him the basics. l took him fishing, but he didn't wanna get wet. Gordy, please...
Boog: Boog is sorry. [sobbing]
Gordy: Beth, you're not his mother.
Beth: l'm not mothering him.
[tapping on window]
Beth: Excuse me. Go to bed, Boog! 
(Grizzly vomits to the window)
Beth: [sighs] One more summer. That's all l am asking, one summer. Great, see? l can be reasonable. Thanks.
Gordy: You know something? The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for him to adapt.
Beth: Oh, l'm sure he'll.... At least l think he'll...
Gordy: And the harder it's gonna be for you to let him go. Good night, Beth.
Beth: What am l gonna do with you?
Bobbie: Whew. This isn't decaf. You know what caffeine does to me, Bob. l'd be talking up a storm, chatting your ear off a mile a minute for the whole ride. Mr. Weenie, heel. Heel, Mr. Weenie.
Elliot: Hot! Yuck! Yuck! lt's terrible but wonderful at the same time. lt's like freedom in a cup! Ding-dang! Out of hand!
Woman: You know, l heard Boog got loose last night and he totally trashed the place.
Man: Really?
Woman: That's what happened.
Shaw: There's something wrong going on here. You? lt walks like a man!
Elliot: [screams]
[whimpering]
Shaw: Hold still, you two-legged latte drinker.
Woman: (she screams) Look out!
Gordy: [groans] Not again.
Beth: Boog will have you eating out of his paw. Get it? Paw, 'cause he's a bear? [giggles] So anyway....
Boog: Oh, man. OK, relax, Boog. You can do this. What the...?
Elliot: l gotta hide. l gotta hide.
Boog: What are you doing? Get out of here! Hey!
Elliot: He's right behind me.
Shaw: [banging on door] l knew it. That bear's corrupted my buck.
Elliot: [screams] Hide me!
[banging on door]
[banging stops]
Boog: All right, he's gone. Now get out.
Elliot: Good idea.
Boog: Where you going?
Beth: Behold, the mighty grizzly.
Elliot: Roar?
Woman: How cute, a donkey.
Elliot: [chuckles, grunts]
Boog: You got me in enough trouble.
Elliot: Hey, l-- You saved my life. That means that you're responsible for me.
Boog: What? Stop messing up my life.
Elliot: You needed to get out. You should thank me.
Boog: Thank you?
Elliot: You're welcome, buddy.
Boog: Stop calling me that! Now get out!
Elliot: Need to hide! Need to hide!
Beth: Boog?
Boog: Oh, no, you don't. You're leaving now. Out of the coat.
Elliot: No.
Boog: Take it off.
Elliot: No!
Boog: Take off the coat.
Elliot: No means no.
Bobbie: He's eating the donkey.
Man: He's gonna eat us all!
Elliot: You know he's still out there! [whimpers]
Beth: Eat you? He's not gonna... Boog, what are you doing? Put that animal down this instant.
Boog: Hold still!
Elliot: No, l'm staying.
Boog: But my show!
Beth: Sit, Boog. You're getting a time-out. Do you hear me?! l'm totally getting angry!
Elliot: That guy wants to kill me!
Beth: No, wait!
[crowd screaming]
Elliot: l chipped a hoof.
Boog: Chipped a...? You chipped a... l'm going to kill you!
Beth: He's harmless. Really. Stay calm! Stay calm!!!!!
Shaw: Out of my way! Move! Show's over, you four-legged freaks of nature!
[Boog roars]
Elliot: Huh?
[Boog roars madly]
Shaw: Perfect.
Gordy: Shaw! Drop that gun!
Boog: You're ruining my show!
Shaw: Easy, now. Just line them up. Two heads, one bullet.
[gunshots]
Boog: Buttermilk biscuits.
Beth: [panting]
- [gunshots]
- [Elliot groaning]
Gordy: Shaw, you're under arrest. Shaw? [sighing]
[Shaw disappeared]
Beth: Gordy, I didn't know what else to do. l...
Gordy: It's time, Beth.
Beth: But what about hunting season?
Gordy: Take him above the falls. He'll be safe there.
[Good Day playing]
Beth: [sighs] You're gonna be.... You're gonna be fine. l'm gonna miss you, big guy.
Boog: [snoring] Pretty. Oh, man. (gasps, screaming)
[scream echoing]
Where's home?! It's gone! Someone stole it!
Elliot: Hey, could you keep it down? l'm trying to sleep here. [yawns]
Boog: You!
Elliot: No, l didn't do it!
Boog: Take a good look, Elliot. What do you see, Elliot? Something's missing, Elliot. What is it, Elliot? What is it?
Elliot: Wait, don't tell me. l....
Boog: Timberline is missing!
Elliot: I was just gonna say that.
Boog: My garage is missing. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are missing. My life is missing, and it's all your fault!
Elliot: What are you gonna do? [screaming] [chuckles] You're funny. l thought, maybe, but then l was like, uh-uh, and then...
Boog: This ain't happening. lt's some kind of mistake. Think, Boog. She's mad, but you can fix this. All right, l'll go back and l'll give her the face. The face. Gotta get back before she forgets the face. That'll clear it all up right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the face.
Elliot: [grunting] Boog!
You can't just go wandering around out here.
You don't know where you're going, Boog!
Boog: l'm going home.
Elliot: Wait. Boog. l know where Timberline is. l can get you back.
Boog: Thank you, but no thank you.
- [ladybug buzzing]
- Quiet! Timberline's got to be around here somewhere.
Elliot: Well, that was quick. [straining] Now, let's see. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. Boog, is that you?
[humming]
[whistling]
[snoring]
Boog?
Boog: [groans] 
[panting, grunting] 
OK, l gotta get the lay of the land. Somehow... if l get up high enough, then.... Hmm. All right. l can do this. [chuckles] No problem.
McSquizzy: Oi! Lost your way to Sunday school, pal?
This is McSquizzy's turf. Nobody messes with McSquizzy. 'Cause that's me.
Boog: What?
McSquizzy: Touch a needle in this tree and l'll give you such a doing!
Boog: Yeah? You and what army? [laughs]
[whistles]
Squrriels: Oi!Boog: Oh, that army.
McSquizzy: Mess not with the furrytail clan.
Defenders of the good, crusaders of the righteous, guardians of the pine.
Boog: Keep your tree. l'll find another one.
McSquizzy: Look! He's got a wee freakish twin growing out of his back! [laughter]
Boog: Oh, this one will work.
McSquizzy: Hey!
Boog: Ouch!
McSquizzy: That was a warning, all right?
Squirrels: Oi!
McSquizzy: Try that again, and l'll be kicking your furry brown bahookie!
Boog: What? Hey, this is a different tree.
McSquizzy: They're all my trees. l suggest you turn round and head right back from whence you came.
Boog: That's what l'm trying to do. So just point me the way to town and l'll be out of here.
[squirrels laughter]
Boog: That's it! You're asking for a whupping.
McSquizzy: Ready! Fire!
Boog: [groans]
Elliot: Hey, Boog, look. No hands. l think l'm getting a sunburn, though. Check it out.
Boog: All right, where's town?
Elliot: Or what we would call this, a moon burn. [laughs] Ow!
Boog: Look, just give me the directions. l really need to get back.
Elliot: So sad.
Boog: Where's Timberline?!
Elliot: OK. OK. All right. You got it good in Timberline, right? Coffee, Woo Hoo bars, safety.
Boog: Hmm. Yeah, so?
Elliot: And still, something is missing.
Boog: There is?
Elliot: Yep. Me. And l want in, Boog. l'll take you to town but when we get there, we're partners. Deal, partner?
Boog: What? Partner, oh, no, no, no. That ain't never gonna happen. Never. Don't you have a herd to get back to?
Elliot: What...? My herd? They... My herd will understand.
These guys are my... They're my buddies. They... They want the best for me.
Boog: Forget it.
Elliot: Oh, well. Better start moving, then. 'Cause open season starts in a few days. Maybe one of those hunters can give you a ride back on the hood of their truck.
Boog: [gulps] Hunters. Dang. OK, OK.
Elliot: So we have a deal, then? OK, let me hear you say it. [repeating on spits] Partners?
Boog: You're disgusting.
Elliot: What was that?
Boog: l... (muttering) guess we can be...
Elliot: Sorry, can't hear you.
Boog: l said, l... guess... (muttering) we can be partners.
Elliot: Partners?
Boog: [sighs] Partners.
Elliot: Okey-dokey, this way! Move it or lose it! You know, we should have a secret handshake and like nicknames and stuff. Like, cool nicknames, though. l'll call you Boogster and then you can call me The lncredible Mister E. lsn't that great? l came up with that myself. l made that up. You know, this is gonna be awesome. lt's just you and me. Hey, who's the lady in the shorts?
Shaw: (he's eating the bar one bite) l hope l'm not too late. They've been out here all night. (eats the second time) A bear... and a deer, working together. How far does this conspiracy go? What other animals are involved? God bless America! l hope the bald eagle hasn't turned! No, no, no. Maybe they're right. [chuckles] Maybe.... Maybe old Shaw is crazy. Yeah, maybe. Huh? Wha...?
[panting, barks]
Bobbie: lsn't it peaceful out here, Bob? You're right, Bob. Let's not spoil the beauty of this moment with idle chatter. Some people can just jibber-jabber till the cows come home. What does that mean, Bob? Till the cows come home. Where have the cows been?
Elliot: OK, Forest 101.
Boog: [sneezes]
Elliot: These big wood stick things are called trees. The big rocks are called mountains, and the little rocks are their babies.
Boog: [groaning, panting] Altitude. No jelly arm, no jelly arm. Come on. Elliot!
Elliot: Boogster, it's.... How many times must l say it? l am the lncredible Mister E.
Boog: Elliot, please. (he shouts, falling)
Elliot: Look, if you don't use the code names...
...how am l supposed to know that it's really you that l'm talking to?
Boog: [screaming]
[grunting] Ow!
[sighs] Yeah, yeah. OK, l got it. Nice and easy. Just rip it off fast, like a Band-Aid.
Elliot: Hold still, OK? Just be calm. This might pinch a little.
Boog: Get it over with.
Elliot: You may wanna cover your ears.
Boog: Cover my....? Aaaaah! [scream echoing]
Elliot: OK, scamper on back to the woods, little buddy.
Buddy: Buddy.
Reilly: OK, ladies, this dam ain't gonna build itself! Lift that birch. Swing those pines over here. Come on. Move it! [whistles] Yo, O'Toole!
O'Toole: Yeah, boss?
Reilly: l want you to cantilever that cedar on the bias down by the north end, you got that?
O'Toole: Huh?
Reilly: Put a twig in the hole.
O'Toole: Oh.
Reilly: Rookie. [whistles] Take five for lunch! Uh, what do you got?
O'Toole: Wood. What do you got?
Reilly: Wood. You wanna trade? Hey, hey, guys. Check it out. There goes the largest carnivore in North America. The mighty grizzly.
Elliot: And he's a good dancer. We're gonna be in a show.
[beavers laughing]
Boog: (he grabs buck's antler) Come here!
Elliot: Ow, ow, ow. Hey, that's my good antler.
Boog: Listen, simple. We are not we. lt's just me. And we ain't doing no show.
Elliot: [scoffs] Diva.
Boog: What?
Elliot: l understand what's going on here. You're a little crabby 'cause you're hungry.
Boog: l, l....
Elliot: Hmm? Hmm? l think yes.
Boog: (sobs) l'm starving!
Elliot: Here, try this.
Boog: l can't eat that.
Elliot: Picky, picky, picky. Well, what do bears eat?
Boog: Um, uh... Fish! Bears eat fish. (chuckles) All right, fishies, give it up for Boog!
[speaking of Japanese]
Elliot: * We're going out walking 
And after midnight searching for Boog *
Boog: (farts) Uh-oh. Uh... Hey, lncredible Mister E.
Elliot: Yes, Boogster?
Boog: l gotta go.
Elliot: Well, go.
Boog: No, l need a toilet. You know, the think tank. The log cabin, the johnny on the spot, the oval office.
Elliot: There's none of those things out here.
Boog: Well, what do you do?
Elliot: You know... ...l can't remember. But listen. Don't look now, but l see a little bush with your name written all over it.
Boog: A bush? Are you serious?
Elliot: Go on. lt's just like riding a bicycle. Only you're crapping on it. Show us your "Grr" face, nature boy. Grr!
Boog: Hmm. Hey. What are you doing here? Get out of here. Shoo, shoo, shoo. l'm working here. Now, go.
Elliot: All right, all right, you've had your fun. Nothing to see here. Let the bear do his thing. You believe those guys? Finished?
[Boog groans]
McSquizzy: l bet my nuts that big hairy choob can't do it.
Squirrel: l'll take a piece of that action.
Boog: What is wrong with you animals?
Elliot: Perhaps some roughage, buddy?
Buddy: Buddy.
Boog: Perhaps some privacy!
Maria: What do you think you're doing on my house?
Boog: This is your house? Oh, l... l didn't know....
Rosie: It would probably be an improvement.
Maria: What did you just say to me, Rosie?
Rosie: Nothing. Why you gotta be so sensitive?
Elliot: Boogster, what's the dealio?
Maria: You better watch your mouth or you'll get yourself in a lot of trouble, girlfriend.
Rosie: You're just jealous 'cause you ain't got a man.
Boog: l don't know. Some kind of chick fight. Elliot, what do l do?
Elliot: Well, that's easy. You just gotta mark your territory. Show them who's boss.
Boog: All right, ladies. l'm laying down the law.
Elliot: Unless, of course, they're skunks.
- [spraying]
- [groaning]
Boog: Disgusting!
Elliot: Wow. Giselle.
Boog: Ridiculous. The woods is no place for a bear! Ducks? OK. Look, don't move.
Elliot: Oh, yeah. Sprucing up.
Boog: Quick. You guys gotta help me.
Serge: Don't mind Deni, monsieur. He's a bit nervous. Never been quite... right since the great migration. There were thousands of us when we started in the big V's. Then... (speaks of French) Then it happened.
Boog: What happened?
Serge: What happened?! Open season happened! Just me and Deni were left. How can you make a V with only two duck, you ask, eh? Well, you cannot, monsieur. lt's a tragedy!
Boog: Yeah, right, whatever. But check this out. l'm looking for town. OK? Now, could one of you guys fly up there and show me the way?
Deni: Fly? Fly?
Boog: Shh. Quiet. They'll hear you.
Elliot: Psst. Giselle.
Giselle: Elliot?
Elliot: Hey, gorgeous. How you doing?
Giselle: Elliot, where have you been?
Elliot: Oh, you know. Big city. Kind of a road trip. Saw the sights, hit the buffet, took in a show. Things are looking up, Giselle.
Giselle: Really? l heard you got hit by a truck.
Elliot: That-- Rumor.
Giselle: You better get out of here. you remember what happened in the last time you talked to me?
Elliot: Oh. ls lan around?
Giselle: [clears throat]
Elliot: How long have you had that tic?
[humming]
l think it's getting worse. Oh, crud.
Ian: Hello, "Smelliot." l called him Smelliot.
[all laughing]
Herd! Circle formation! You pinheads. That's an oval. More circle-y! You got a lot of nerve coming back here.
Elliot: Why, thank you.
Ian: That was not a compliment, maggot!
Giselle: Well, he was just going. Right, Elliot?
Elliot: Yeah, lan. l had to stop by and say hello to some of my old pals. Bob, Kevin. Jurgen, how's the knee?
Ian: l told you to leave the herd and never, ever, ever....
Elliot: Never?
Ian: Never, ever, ever come back!
Elliot: Back? l'm not-- l'm not back. Me and my best buddy are heading to town. Yeah. l sure am gonna miss you guys.
Ian: Off the upholstery!
Boog: What now?
[screaming]
Ian: So as l was saying, never, ever, ever--
[Boog roaring]
A bear! Bear. Bear. A bear.
Boog: Elliot, are you all right?
Elliot: Buttermilk biscuit.
Deer: Hey, lan. Get a load of this.
Boog: Hey, cut it out.
Ian: Oh, l've heard of you. You're that bear that got his butt thumped by a squirrel. Ooh.
Boog: lt was-- There was 20 of them. And they had nuts.
Elliot: Don't listen to him, Boog.
Ian: Boog? What is that short for? Booger?
Deer: Ha! Booger!
Boog: Listen, you!
Ian: l'm all ears.
Boog: Well...
Elliot: Boog, let's go.
Ian: You two are perfect for each other. You're a loser and you're a loser-er.
[all laugh]
Herd, let's bound! Hey, Elliot. l think you lost something.
Giselle: Maybe it'll grow back. Bye, Elliot.
Elliot: Yeah, see you.
Ian: See you later, backpack boy!
Boog: That's right, fool. You better run. Keep on prancing, you panty-waisted cow.
Elliot: Yeah. One more word, and l was gonna rack him.
Boog: That's right.
Elliot: l was waiting for it.
Boog. He's scared. He's scared.
Elliot: Look at him run. Look at him run.
Boog Yeah, l know it. Look at him go.
McSquizzy: Are you not gonna buy him a drink before you kiss him? You big jessie.
[laughter]
On your bikes, you big numpties!
Boog: That was lan's girl you was trying to talk to, huh? [chuckling] You dog.
Elliot: [moans] lan's right. l'm a loser.
Boog: No, you're not a loser.
Elliot: Yes, l am.
Boog: No, you're not.
Elliot: Yes.
Boog: No.
Elliot: Trust me. You know the day l met you, lan kicked me out of the herd. l lost my antler, l got run over and tied to the hood of a truck. What do you call that?
Boog: Uh, a loser. But check this out.
Behold, the mighty grizzly!
l look like a bear, l talk like a bear.
But l can't fish, l can't climb a tree,
l can't even go in the woods.
Elliot: That's nothing. Half doe. Half buck. l'm a duck!Boog: Hey, l ride a unicycle for crackers!
Elliot: l have a glass eye.
Boog: l can't snap.
Elliot: l thought log was a color.
Boog: l can't see my feet.
Elliot: l killed a man.
[both laughing]
[sighs] Well, at least you've got a home.
Boog: Home. Yeah. l sure hope so.
- [cracks]
- Huh?
Elliot: Crimenently! Was that your neck?
Boog: No.
My fishy crackers.
Oh, she still loves me.
Thank you, Beth.
l'm coming home.
Try one, partner. Yeah.
Woo Hoo bars they ain't, but they take you back.
You know? Remind you of home. Sweet, salty home.
Oh, yeah. To be back in my own soft bed.
Eight square meals a day, plus snacks.
Beth tucking me in every night.
lt's like heaven to me.
You know, when we get back home tomorrow,
l'm gonna make things right with Beth.
And maybe, just maybe we'll find a place for you in the garage with me.
Elliot: Sweet! Oh, yeah. l'm in the garage.
Who's staying in the garage?
l'm in the garage.
Who's got a place in the garage?
lt's me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah--
Boog: Hey, buddy? -
Elliot: Yeah?
Boog: Do me a favor, will you?
lt's gonna sound silly, but will you--? Ah, forget it.
Elliot: What? Come on. l'm here for you, man.
Boog: Will you sing me that teddy-bear picnic song?
Elliot: Absolutely. The what song?
Boog: Well, Beth always sings it to me, you know, because it helps me sleep.
Elliot: OK. l'll give it a shot.
Boog: Thanks.
Elliot: (singing) * Once there was a magical elf
Who lived in a rainbow tree *
* He lived downstairs
From a flatulent dwarf *
*
*
* Who was constantly having to pee
* One day the elf could take no more *
*
*
*
* So he went and banged
* On the rude dwarf's door *
*
*
*
* And what do you know
* They suddenly both were married *
* [snoring]
* [whispering] Good night, Boog. l'm sleeping in the garage. l'm sleeping in the garage.
Bobbie: Come on, Mr. Weenie. Beg. You can do it. Come on. Beg. Bob, he won't listen. Bob, show him how to beg.
[Shaw] Ohh!
[both panting]
Shaw: Oh. Dog worship.
Bobbie: Oh, my!
Shaw: You folks all right?
Bobbie: What? No, no, no! He's...
Shaw: Taken you hostage. l know, l know! You're safe now. l've got the enemy neutral... Ow! Ow!
Bobbie: There, there, Mr. Weenie. Are you all right, baby? You're the sweetest little weenie l ever saw.
Shaw: Don't be fooled. He's one of them.
Bobbie: Who?
Shaw: The enemy! The bear! That deer! All them animals! l have seen the future. lt will start in small towns like Timberline. Soon, it'll spread. They will invade from burrows, caves, petting zoos. lf l don't stop them, it'll be a total reversal of the natural order. They laugh at old Shaw, but you'll see. The truth will be revealed.
Bobbie: Oh. We know exactly what you mean.
Shaw: You do?
Bobbie: We're scientists. Well, of sorts. And we're trying to secure photographic documentation of a real, live homo-sasquatchus.
Shaw: Homo-say-what-us?
Bobbie: We're looking for Bigfoot.
Shaw: Huh? Bigfoot--? Oh! l didn't realize l was talking to a couple of wack jobs. Don't trust him. Pets are double agents. The moment you turn your back, he'll shiv you!
Bobbie: Oh, no, he can't. We had him fixed.
[whines]
Elliot: Boog? Boog. Are you awake?
Boog: I am now.
Elliot: Awesome. l was watching you sleep last night and you were like a little angel. Except for you're fat and snoring like: (imitates snoring) We're gonna work on that, though. l invented this cure where you stick your whole hand in your mouth.
Boog: How long before we get to Timberline?
Elliot: [muffled] Oh, by nightfall. Easy.
Boog: Are you sure?
Elliot: Absolutely. Hey, you wanna see something stupid?
Boog: Well, then we better get going.
Elliot: Right. We're on a tight schedule. l'll carry your load.
Boog: Oh, no. Whoa, wait. Look, you gotta be real careful with him, OK, 'cause he's real delicate.
Elliot: Want a fishy cracker?
Boog: I almost forgot. No, uh, l'll eat when l get home.
Rosie: Listen, girlfriend. You wanna find a man like my lgnacio, you gotta check your look.
Maria: What are you talking about, Rosie? l'm black and white. l go with everything.
Rosie: You go fine with everybody. Maybe that's your problem.
Boog: Ain't those the same two skunks--
Elliot: l had some thoughts on the show.
Boog: My show?
Elliot: The lady in the shorts has gotta go. She's slowing us down. lt's gotta be fresh, new. l want some jazz.
Boog: l'm the star, and the people out there come to see me, a grizzly bear.
[speaking of Japanese]
Elliot: Oh. l see. You get to have the career while l stay home and look after Dinkleman! He's not even mine! [sobs] l don't get to have a dream. ls that it?
McSquizzy: Oi!
[sighs]
Buddy: Buddy.
Elliot: Don't you think l might like a little singing, a little dancing, a little...
Boog: Elliot.
Elliot: Cha-cha. But no. All l ever hear is, "How long until we get to Timberline, simple?" "How long until we get home?"
Boog: Elliot! Are those the same beavers?
Elliot: No. All beavers look alike.
Reilly: Hey! Tiny dancer! Yeah, that's right! Shake it, shake it!
O'Toole: Let's see some moves!
Boog: Elliot!Elliot: Yeah.Boog: Elliot, this is the same dang dam. We've been going in circles!Elliot: Circle. One time around.Boog: You don't even know where we're go...!
[gunshots]
Shaw: Got them, Lorraine! [imitating on guitar playing] [laughing]
Boog: What was that?
O'Toole: Hunters? What are they doing up here?
Reilly: OK, boys. Take cover!
Elliot: Boog, we gotta hide.Boog: l'm out of here.Elliot: Boog, wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't go out there!
Reilly: Hey, tubby, stop! Hey, this ain't a load-bearing structure!
Elliot: Oh, that's bad.
[all screaming]
Maria: Rosie, in here.
[deers screaming]
[Shaw cackling]
[whimpering]
Boog: Stop. Get off.
Buddy: Buddy, buddy, buddy!
Elliot: Aw, crud.
[Elliot screaming]
Shaw: Oh.
Elliot: (under water) Shaw!
Boog: (under water) Dinkleman!
Elliot: You are gonna be OK!
Boog: We are going to die and you know it.
Shaw: No one around here to save you this time, boys!
Elliot: Paddle, Boog! Paddle!
Boog: Grab a boulder! Grab a boulder!
Elliot: Left, left! Right!
Boog: Oh, like you know.
[chuckling]
[Shaw yelling]
Boog: Where is he?
Elliot: He's gone. Oh, there he is. No, wait. There he is. There he is.
Shaw: Why, you little...
Elliot: There he is.
Boog: Quiet, l'm trying to drive.
Elliot: Faster, Boog!
[gunshots]
Shaw: Like fishing and hunting at the same time.
Elliot: Give me a hand, Boog! Hold me! Stop!
Boog: Stop! Get off! Elliot, get off. Get off!
[both screaming]
[Boog gasps, panting]
Woo. [grunting] Dinkleman? Oh.
[coughs]
Reilly: You. You did this.
Animals: Yeah, that's right.
Boog: What did l do?
Reilly: You dragged us down to the hunting grounds.
Maria: Yeah, where are we gonna hide?
Serge: We're sitting ducks out here.
Buddy: And it's open season!
Elliot: All right, all right! That's enough. Guys, it's not his fault.
Boog: Oh, you're right, Elliot. lt's your fault.
Elliot: My fault?
Boog: Yeah. lf it weren't for you l'd be home right now. None of this would've ever happened. You said you knew the way back, but you lied.
Elliot: l... No. OK. OK, maybe.... l thought if you hung out with me then maybe you would like me.
Boog: Oh, man. l trusted you, Elliot.
Elliot: l'm sorry, Boog. I-- We're still partners, right?
Boog: You know, Elliot, l'm better off alone.
Buddy: What about us?
Animals: Yeah.
Maria: Yeah, what about us?
Boog: Us? There's no us. You're not my problem.
And you? We're done.
Elliot: But... Boog, wait.
Boog: Done.
[I Belong playing]
Beth. Oh, no.
Hunter: Thanks for the license, Gordy.
Gordy: All right, guys. Good luck.
Hunter 1: Hey, Earl. That a new truck?
Hunter 2: Yeah. Check it out. Jealous much?
[whooping]
Gordy: You OK?
Beth: l put him way above the falls. l hope l did the right thing.
Gordy: Don't worry, Beth. l'm sure Boog is happy in his new home.
Boog: Stupid nature. Civilization.
[thunderclap]
Hello? Excuse me. ls anybody home? [gasps]
*
* Hallelujah *
Oh, sweet porcelain.
*
* Hallelujah *
Woo-hoo! And the crowd goes wild!
Now, there's gotta be a fridge in here somewhere. [groans]
[sniffing]
[humming]
Oh.
[sputters]
[screaming]
[panting]
[whimpers]
[rattling]
[thunder crashing]
[gasps] Oh, no.
Shaw: Deers, skunks, beavers.
Boog: l gotta hide.
Shaw: That bear's turned them all! Here you go, Lorraine. There, you get good and dry. Come morning, we got a rebellion to crush. And then l'm gonna take back what's mine!
Boog: Elliot.
[Shaw chuckles]
Shaw: Huh? Someone's been eating my candy. Huh? Somebody's been sitting in my chair. [sniffing] (he goes to toilet) Somebody forgot to flush!
[gasps]
And he's still here. Come back for your bear, Goldilocks? [chuckles] Ready or not, here l come!
*
*
*
* If you go out in the woods today
* You're sure of a big surprise *
*
*
*
* If you go out in the woods today
* You better go in disguise *
*
*
*
* 'Cause every bear
* That ever there was *
*
*
*
* Was gathered there
* Together because *
*
*
*
* Today's the day,
* The teddy bears have *
*
*
*
* Their picnic! *
* Ha!
* Huh?
* [Shaw grunting]
* [panting]
* [straining]
* Hey, bear! There ain't nowhere that you can hide from me!
* [panting]
* [grunts]
* [horn honking]
Hunters: As soon as l get mine Blowing their heads off! Good time.
Boog: Oh. Elliot.
Buddy: [sighs] No buddy.
[horn honks]
[animals screaming]
[Elliot singing]
Giselle: Elliot, you've gotta hide. The hunters are here.
[sighs]
[grunting]
[echoing singing]
Reilly: Oh, he's gonna give us away.
Elliot: All right! Bring it! Bring it!
[Boog chuckling]
Boog?Boog: Hey, buddy.
Elliot: What are you doing back here?Boog: Come on. l couldn't go home without my partner.
Elliot: l don't have a partner.Boog: Elliot.
Elliot: l don't need the herd and l don't need you. So leave me alone.Boog: Ain't gonna be able to do it. You see, l already saved you once. That makes me responsible for you. l saw that. Come on. Let me hear you say it. Partners.
Elliot: No.Boog: What was that?
Elliot: l guess we can be partners.
Boog: Sorry, l can't hear you.
Elliot: l said l guess we can be partners.
Both: Partners!
Elliot: Okey-dokey. This way.
Boog: This way.
Elliot: Right. Maybe you better lead.
Boog: Yeah. Let's get back to the garage, where it's safe.
Giselle: Safe?
Reilly: Safe?
Elliot: Hey, Boog. How many animals can fit in the garage?
Boog: How many--? Whoa!
Animals: Hello, Boog.
Boog: [clears throat] So where you all headed?
Giselle: To the safe place.
Ian: This land of garage.
Buddy: With buddy.
Reilly: Come on. You owe us, Tiny.
Animals: Yeah! Yeah! That's right!Boog: Yeah, l'm sorry about the dam. And how l messed you all up, you know. My bad.
Ian: So you're taking us with you, right, Booger? Please? Please. Look at me! l'm too pretty to die! [Ian sobbing]
Boog: Well, maybe.... No! No! No!
Rosie: You ain't leaving without us.
Ian: l didn't mean to call you Booger.
Elliot: Buddy, can we take Giselle?
Boog: Look, wait! Let me think. Huh? Hunters.
Elliot: Uh-oh.
Boog: Dang. Nobody's going home tonight.
Reilly: There's so many of them.
Giselle: That's it, then.
Buddy: No more me.
Elliot: l guess l will be mounted on a wall.
Boog: [sighs] Oh, no, you won't. Now, when l'm a bearskin rug, they can walk all over me. But until that happens, l ain't going out without a fight.
Animals: What? Fight? What he did say?
Buddy: The F word?
Boog: That's right. One thing you all have taught me. The woods is a messed-up, dangerous place. And you all are crazy. You've been kicking my butt for the last two days.
Animals: Yeah, l kind of did.
Serge: l didn't.
Buddy: Sorry.
Boog: So let's do to them what you've been doing to me. Now, l say we give our guests the full outdoor experience.
Animals: Yeah!
McSquizzy: Hey!
Boog: Ouch!
McSquizy: Is this a private fight or can anybody join? Because McSquizzy wants in.
Squirrels: Oi!
Boog: Good. 'Cause we'll need your nuts.
Elliot: And your acorns too.
Giselle: What's the plan, Boog?
Boog: Oh, we gonna run those yahoos back to town. Yeah, baby. When we get through with them, they won't ever come back.
Shaw: So you think you're so tough, huh? Well, you know what l think? l think you're still just a mama's bear.
[cackling]
Bobbie: You guard the fort, Mr. Weenie. Mama's gonna take a dip.
Mr. Weenie: That's good. Mama's getting kind of gamey.
Bobbie: Come on, Bob. There's gonna be a full moon out tonight.
Boog: Shh!
Elliot: Sorry.
Boog: Come on. Let's go.
Ian: [yelling] Uh, Boog?
Reilly: Oh, yeah.
Rosie: Maria, let go.
Maria: l'll carry it.
Rosie: lt's empty.
Buddy: Ladies.
Squirrels: Heave-ho, heave-ho.
McSquizzy: This is gonna be great.
Elliot: Woo-hoo!
Boog: You. We gonna need more ducks. Elliot, is that chocolate on your face?
Elliot: No.
[growling]
Buddy: lt's a pet.
Reilly: He's gonna blow our cover.
Mr. Weenie: l've been living a lie! Please, take me with you.
Deer: Hey, Boog. You're not still mad about that backpack thing, are you?
Boog: Oh, no. l never hold a grudge. l just let them go.
[screaming]
Hunter: What was that?
Elliot: Aha. lt's the signal.
Serge: OK, Deni. Let's round them up!
Maria: All right, ladies. Let her rip!
[skunks shouting]
[hunters coughing]
Boog: Gas mask.
Reilly: Got it!
Hunter: My pants!
Boog: Good job, Reilly. All right. Time to run these guys back to town.
Elliot: Are you ready for this?
Ian: This is awkward.
Elliot: Yes. Yes, it is. Can l?
Ian: Go for it, Smelliot.
Elliot: Charge!
Hunter: Holy stampede! lt's a stampede!
Boog: All right. Show me your "Grr" face. Now, let's kick some hunter bahookie.
Bobbie: Bob, we've been robbed. And they took Mr. Weenie.
McSquizzy: Come on, mate! Move them pudgy wee legs.
Mr. Weenie: l feel so alive!
Elliot: Drop antlers!
[animals shouting, yelling]
Buddy: Bless me.
Hunter: Fire!
Hunter: (in slow-motion) No! No! No. No. No.
Boog: How you doing, partner?
Elliot: Boog, this is great. Let's do this every year.
Hunter: No, no! Get that bill away from me. [screams]
Squirrels: Fire!
Hunter: Guys, let's get out of here! Sheriff! Sheriff! The animals are going wild, and the bear is their leader!
Gordy: lt's for you.
Beth: (gasps) Gordy, l'm bringing him home.
Hunter: Come on, men! They're just animals.
[hunters yelling]
Boog: Elliot, catch.
Elliot: Got it.
McSquizzy: Present arms!
Elliot: (in slow-motion) Yeah!
Boog: Fire!
Hunter: Oh, my God! Back to the trucks!
Elliot: Boog, it's working.
Boog: Yeah. Look at them run.
McSquizzy: Send in Mr. Happy!
Boog: Who?
Serge: Go, go, go!
Deni: Adieu!
McSquizzy: Aww. Mr. Happy didn't go off.
Boog: Hey, whoa. We're just supposed to run them into town.
McSquizzy: Well, it's time for them to start running, isn't it?
Hunter: Hey, Earl, ain't that your truck?
[car horn beeps]
That's a bummer.
Elliot: That's right. Keep running.
Giselle: Sweet.
McSquizzy: Freedom!
[animals cheering]
Boog: [chuckling] Huh? [panting] Whoa!
Shaw: Hello, Goldilocks. What?
Elliot: Bull's-eye!
[Shaw growling]
[Boog grunting]
Quick! We need more ammo!
Boog: Elliot! Elliot, stop helping me.
Elliot: Keep it coming.
Boog: OK. Let's see how you like it. A pillow? Oh, come on!
Elliot: More! More!
Shaw: All right. Come on, mama's bear. You can do better than that. Let's see what you got. Come on.
Elliot: Boog!
[grunting]
Boog: [laughs] Oh, yeah. Don't mess with the Boogster. Fore!
Shaw: Ha-ha! All right, Lorraine. Let's kiss this bear good night.
- [Elliot yelling]
- [gunshots]
[gasps]
[growling]
What?
- [roaring]
- [whimpering]
No! No! Stop!
[panting]
Boog: Elliot?
[Shaw's straining]
Buddy? Oh, Elliot.
[Elliot gibberish]
Boog: Huh?
[groans]
You all right, Elliot?
Elliot: l'm a little lightheaded.
[laughing]
Reilly: Hey, Tiny. Nice show.
Boog: Behold, the mighty grizzly.
Animals: [chanting] Boog, Boog, Boog.
[all cheering]
Reilly: Let's get him!
Shaw: What? No!
[animals yelling]
Stay away! No!
Maria: Here you go.
Buddy: Cannonball!
[Shaw screaming]
Boog: You know, Elliot, this place ain't so bad.Elliot: Hold that thought. Oh, yeah. Karate noises!
[helicopter whirring]
Shaw: [shouts] No! [crying]
Boog: Beth?
Beth: Boog? [laughing] Oh, Boog.
Reilly: What's he doing?
McSquizzy: ls he not gonna maul her?
Elliot: No. She's his mom. She's taking us home.
Buddy: Every buddy?
Beth: l was so worried. l'm bringing you back with me. Come on. Let's go home.
Elliot: Oh, no.
Beth: Come on, Boog. Let's go home.
Boog?
[I Belong playing]
Oh. You are home. l'm so proud of you.
Elliot: So how are we both gonna fit in the helicopter? She's coming back, right?
Boog: Who?
Elliot: The shorts lady. Boog?!
Boog: Hey, big guy.
Reilly: What's up, Tiny?
O'Toole: What's up?
Boog: You said that we--
Elliot: You're judging me?
Boog: How y'all doing?
Maria: Hey, Boog.
Rosie: Hi, Boog.
Maria: l know he's a duck. But he treats me like a lady.
Elliot: But she's...
Buddy: Hey, buddy.
Boog: Hey, find me some food.
Elliot: Come on. What is our pickup time?
Boog: Elliot, we're staying here. This is our home.
These are our people. This is where we reside.
Elliot: What? Are you insane?
Where have you been for the last two days?
This place is horrible. Horrible!
Ian: Hey, guys.
Boog: What's up, lan?
Ian: Uh-oh. Ah, ah, ah. [grunts]
[both laughing]
Ow.
Boog: Come on, Elliot. lt ain't that bad.
Elliot: She's at least gonna bring some Woo Hoo bars, right?
Boog: It's just the two of us, Elliot. Unless you plan on goin' back to your herd.
Elliot: What? And break up the team? Bros before does.
Boog: Yeah. Bros before does.
Giselle: Hello, Elliot.
Elliot: Catch ya later, Boog.
[saw buzzing, tree creaking]
[yells]
Ah-ha-ha!
McSquizzy: Hey! Get off my trees, you bucktoothed sporran!
Boog: Feels like home, baby.
Elliot: Hey, Boog!
Ian: Rabbit fight!
Elliot: Oh, no, you didn't.
Boog: Oh, yeah? Well, eat rabbit.
Buddy: Buddy!
Bobbie: Bob! Bob!
[both giggling]
A real live homo-sasquatchus!
[giggling continues]
Shaw: Wait, wait. No, no! Nooooo!!!!!!!!!
Category:Transcripts
Category:Columbia Pictures Transcripts
Category:Sony Pictures Animation Transcripts
Category:Open Season Transcripts