Support Box: S02E06

Box's Big Burger: Uncovered is the sixth episode of Support Box Season Two and the fourteenth episode of Support Box overall. The episode is about James T. Peckerwood interviewing the founders of Box's Big Burger and delving deep into the restaurant's controversies. 
== The Episode ==
Support Box. The show where they talk about Support Box. For years, the titular star has entertained audiences with his charisma and lack of a filter. But what happens when his antics go from your screen to your plate? You get Box's Big Burger, the most controversial restaurant of all time. My name is James T. Peckerwood, and we're about to deep dive through the rabbit hole to find out just how far Box's Big Burger has gone.
(support box and question box are being interviewed in a house. they take their seats in front of the camera)
when i heard someone was doing a documentary about box's big burger, i couldn't refuse the free publicity! this is a puff piece right? you're not gonna run an exposé on me?
Wouldn't think of it.
Let's go back to July of this year. Support Box entered Cheesy Does It a happy box. He had just received word of a fast food sponsorship in his name. The meal? The Support Burger, a burger with 4 all beef patties...or so he thought. Turns out that in an effort to garner points with the public, the burger was made with tofu patties.
I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED WHEN I REALIZED WHAT THEY HAD DONE! IT WAS LIKE DRINKING A GLASS OF WHAT I THOUGHT WAS LEMONADE, WHEN IT WAS ACTUALLY PISS!! WHOEVER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING THAT SHOULD BE BEATEN WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR LIFE!
Support Box would get his wish. A legion of loyal fans were in attendance during his big day and when they saw their idol's disappointment, they were out for blood. They had already chased a man and his family out of the burger joint.
(the man who was with his family is now being interviewed)
so yeah that support box guy sicced his people on me! i had to run out with my family! i wish i hadn't, my kids no longer respect me and my wife wont even sleep in the same bed as me
As Support Box began a speech about the disappointment he had faced, the bloodthirsty mob attacked the teenaged staff of the Cheesy Does It, slaughtering all but one fry cook.
(jerry is being interviewed)
i-it was awful man! those people tore through my best friend like he was the wrapper for a kids meal toy!
Jerry and his family joined with other in a class action suit against Support Box for inciting a riot and other damages. They never received a penny.
thanks to our lawyer chaim goldberg, the boss and i got off scot free!
(question box pulls out a sheet of paper and reads off it)
all that stuff he told those crazy people was a suggestion, they were in complete control of their actions and support box had zero influence on them.
After ditching the hopped up mob, he set to work founding his own restaurant, Box's Big Burger. It was an overnight success. The founder contributes the success to his already massive reputation influencing people's decisions. That, and his staff of scantily clad women.
when the boss told me about his plans for an all girl staff, i begged him to let me handle it! a chance to meet hot mostly single women in my area! sign me up!
(question box is standing on a table with a microphone, pointing at an embarrassed employee)
LASHAWNA I CAN SAVE YOU FROM ALL THIS! THERES NO NEED TO RUN...BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I AM THE ONE!
(support box barges out from the back of the restaurant)
QUESTION BOX THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, CUT IT OUT!
BUT ITS A NUMBERS GAME, BOSS! EVENTUALLY, SOMEONE WILL SAY YES!
However, what comes with success often comes controversy. And Support Box is no stranger to controversy.
(a hispanic man is being interviewed)
Senor caja? He pays well but hes not right in the cabeza.
(support box is scolding the man behind the restaurant)
PACO I SAID BRING ME BULLO! BULLO! THIS IS JUST A REGULAR BULL!
What's his deal? I got bullo, I got hundreds of bullos lying around!
I think he's talking about the gay bull who shows up on his show.
Wait WHAT?! El toro tome pene en el culo? That's unsanitary! It's like spitting in a burger!
And speaking of spit, Box's Big Burger is the only restaurant where you can PAY to have people spit in your food!
(a man with one arm bigger than the other approaches the cash register)
Can I get a support burger with a loogie in it?
WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCK ARE YOU?! which one do you want?
(the man points at a blonde chick behind the counter)
alright that'll be $2 extra. NOW BEAT IT YOU FREAK!
speaking of burgers, i bet you guys wanna know about the question burger, huh?
No, not really.
well you're in luck, because you have the mastermind behind Box's Big Burger's most mysterious meal right here! so how it works is that there are 25 different possible question burgers, divided into brackets of 5 where each bracket is selected at random every day! whenever you order the question burger, one of the five different variants is picked via a random number generator! so the question burger you order in fronku city would be significantly different from the question burger ordered in london! then when you factor in holiday variants, the numbers get even zanier! we're talking a whopping five extra burgers brought into the mix, totaling out at 30 different burgers! not to mention that on every second Monday of the month--
Box's Big Burger is also a massive producer of greenhouse gasses, his massive grills producing billowing clouds of smoke.
yeah so box's big burger is burning a hole in the ozone layer, so what?! im not like one of those other burger joints who make lots of pollution, then force you to use those shitty paper straws, like that's gonna do anything! fuck tomorrow, we're in the present! and the present is 4 patty support burgers for only $3! tomorrow only! get yours today!
If you two don't mind, I'd like to go back to the Cheesy Does It Massacre.
that's what they're calling it? i could come up with a better name! how about the havarti havoc?
ooh, or the ricotta slaughter?
or the asiago annihilation!
THE POINT IS...I think the viewers at home would like to know what that event means to you. You have influence in this city, for better or worse. Do you feel like Support Box the icon is becoming too strong. Perhaps dangerous if left unchecked?
look peckerwood, im just a box. those people did what they did because they wanted to! if it wasn't me telling them to burn down the cheesy does it...along with looting all those stores, it woulda been someone else!
Are you also aware that Cheesy Does it filed for bankruptcy after your actions tarnished its reputation and they were forced to pay the city for damages?
OH YEAH I WANNA SAY THAT CHEESY DOES IT IS A SHITTY COMPANY AND EVERYONE WHO LOST THEIR JOBS HAD IT COMING! BUT LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, BOX'S BIG BURGER IS HIRING! WE COULD USE SOME NEW JANITORS TO CLEAN UP OUR CLOGGED TOILETS! THIS IS SUPPORT BOX, PEACE OUT!
(support box rises from his chair and goes out of the camera's view. question box gets up)
i'd stay, but he's my ride. so...later!
(he walks out as well)
There you have it folks. Box's Big Burger, uncovered. Tune in next week as we visit the infamous power bottom Bullo as he shows us what life is like in Fronku Penitentiary. I'm James T. Peckwood, signing off.