Mickey's Christmas Carol/Transcript

Category:Transcripts
Category:Disney Transcripts
Category:1980 animated films
Category:Christmas transcripts
[We open in Victorian-era London as Scrooge McDuck walks through the streets on Christmas Eve.]
Big Bad Wolf: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to one and all.
Beggar: Give a penny for the poor, governor? Penny for the poor? 
Scrooge: Bah!
[He approaches his workplace, staring at the snow-covered sign.]
Scrooge: Hm. My partner Jacob Marley. Dead seven years today. Ah, he was a good one. He robbed from the widows and swindled the poor.
[He taps the sign with his cane to reveal his name above Marley’s.]
Scrooge: In his will he left me enough money to pay for his tombstone. Ha! And I had him buried at sea!
[As he goes inside, Mickey is trying to get a piece of coal when he spots his boss coming in. He tries to hide it behind his back.]
Mickey: Oh, ha-ha, g- g-good morning, Mr. Scrooge.
Scrooge: (spots the piece of coal) Cratchit! What are you doing with that piece of coal?
Mickey: I was, ha-ha, j- just trying to thaw out the ink.
[He shakes the snow off the inkwell.]
Scrooge: Bah! You used a piece last week! (puts the piece in a bucket) Now, get on with your work, Cratchit.
[As Mickey gets to work…]
Mickey: Speaking of work, Mr. Scrooge, tomorrow is Christmas, and I was wondering if I could have… h- half a day off?
Scrooge: Christmas, eh? Well… Hm… I suppose so. But I'll dock you half a day's pay. Now, let's see. I pay you two shillings a day...
Mickey: Two shillings and a ha'penny, sir.
Scrooge: Oh, yes. I gave you that raise three years ago.
Mickey: Yes, sir! When I started doing your laundry.
Scrooge: All right, Cratchit. Get busy while I go over my books. Oh, and here. Here's another bundle of shirts for you.
[He throws Mickey a bag full of shirts.]
Mickey: Yes, sir!
[Scrooge gets to his desk and counts his money.]
Scrooge: Ah! Ah! Let's see, now. 50 pounds, ten shillings from McDuff. Plus his 80% interest, compounded daily. Money, money, money.
[Suddenly, Donald Duck enters the place, holding a wreath.]
Donald: Merry Christmas!
Mickey: And a Merry Christmas to you, Master Fred.
Scrooge: Bah, humbug.
Donald: Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge.
Scrooge: What's so merry about it? I'll tell you what Christmas is: It's just another workday, and any Jackanapes who thinks else should be boiled in his own pudding!
Donald: Oh!
Mickey: But, sir, Christmas is a time for giving. A time to be with one's family.
Scrooge: I say, "Bah, humbug. " 
Donald: I don't care. I say, "Merry Christmas. " Merry Christmas!
Mickey: (applauds Donald) Well said, Master Fred.
Scrooge: Cratchit! What are you doing?
Mickey: Eh, ha-ha, I was just trying to keep my hands warm, sir.
Scrooge: Hmm! And what are you doing here, nephew?
Donald: I've come to give you a wreath and invite you to Christmas dinner.
Scrooge: Well! I suppose you're going to have plump goose with chestnut dressing?
Donald: Yeah!
Scrooge: And will you have plum pudding in lemon sauce?
Donald: Yeah! Boy, oh, boy!
Scrooge: And candied fruits with spiced sugar cakes?
Donald: Yeah! Will you come?
Scrooge: Are you daft, man? You know I can't eat that stuff. Here's your wreath back. Now out, out, out! 
[He puts the wreath around Donald's body and kicks him out.]
Scrooge: Bah! Humbug!
[Donald reappears for a little bit.]
Donald: Merry Christmas!
Scrooge: And a "bah, humbug" to you!
Mickey: Ha-ha! That Fred. Always so full of kindness.
Scrooge: Aye, he always was a little peculiar. And stubborn.
[The door opens to let in Ratty and Moley.]
Scrooge: Ooh! New customers. I'll handle this, Cratchit. Hm. Yes, what can I do for you two gentlemen?
Ratty: Sir, we are soliciting funds for the indigent and destitute.
Scrooge: For the what?
Moley: We're collecting for the poor.
Scrooge: Oh! Aha. Well, um, you realize if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore, will they?
Moley: Well, uh...
Scrooge: And if they're not poor anymore, then you won't have to raise money for them anymore.
Ratty: Well, I suppose...
Scrooge: And if you don't have to raise money for them anymore, then you would be out of a job. Oh, please, gentlemen, don't ask me to put you out of a job. Not on Christmas Eve!
Ratty: Oh, we wouldn't do that, Mr. Scrooge.
Scrooge: Well, then, I suggest you give this to the poor and be gone!
[He hands them the wreath and casts them out, slamming the door.]
Scrooge: Ah. What's this world coming to, Cratchit? You work all your life to get money, and people want you to give it away.
[Later, as he works, Mickey holds his hands at the lantern, trying to get warm. He finishes up writing and gets off his desk.]
Scrooge: (checks his watch) Hmm. Two minutes fast.
[Mickey gets back to his desk to write a bit.]
Scrooge: Well, never mind those two minutes. You may go now.
Mickey: Ha! Oh, thank you, sir! You're so kind!
Scrooge: Never mind the mushy stuff. Just go. But be here all the earlier the next day.
Mickey: I will! I will, sir! And a "bah, humbug... " I mean, a merry Christmas to you, sir!
[He leaves the workplace.]
Scrooge: Bah!
[Later, Scrooge heads back home. As he makes it to the door, the door knocker morphs into the face of Jacob Marley.]
Goofy: Scrooge!
[Scrooge is surprised by the door knocker resembling his old partner.]
Scrooge: Jacob Marley? No, that can't be!
[He honks the door knocker’s nose.]
Goofy: Ow!
Scrooge: Oh…
[Scrooge zips inside the house.]
Goofy: Oh, darn!
Scrooge: (pants) Oh! Bah!
[As he walks up the stairs, Goofy's shadow follows, his chains rustling behind. Scrooge turns, but the shadow disappears. When he sneaks up, the shadow reappears and sneaks as well. Scrooge turns but no shadow. The duck checks his surroundings before resuming his walk. Goofy's shadow picks up his hat and a paranoid Scrooge holds his cane back. The cane tickles Goofy's shadow and he drops his hat. Scrooge spots the shadow, screams, and zips into his room. The shadow hits the door when it closes. Scrooge locks the door with multiple locks and sighs. Goofy knocks on the door and Scrooge goes to his chair.]
Goofy: (offscreen) Ebenezer Scrooge!
Scrooge: Go away!
[Then, the ghost of Jacob Marley enters his bedroom.]
Goofy: Ebenezer Scrooge… Oh!
[He trips on Scrooge's cane and falls.]
Goofy: Gawrsh! Kind of slippery! Scrooge, don't you recognize me? I was your partner, Jacob Marley.
Scrooge: Marley. It is you.
Goofy: Ebenezer, remember when I was alive, I robbed the widows and swindled the poor?
Scrooge: Yes, and all in the same day. Oh, you had class, Jacob.
Goofy: Ha-ha-ha. Yep! No! No! I was wrong! And so as punishment, I'm forced to carry these heavy chains through eternity. Maybe even longer. There's no hope! I'm doomed! Doomed! And the same thing will happen to you, Ebenezer Scrooge.
Scrooge: No! No, it-it can't! It mustn't! Help me, Jacob.
Goofy: Tonight you will be visited by three spirits. Listen to them. Do what they say. Or your chains will be heavier than mine. Farewell, Ebenezer.
[He was about to step on Scrooge’s cane but stops himself.]
Goofy: Whoop! Oh. (steps across the cane) Farewell...
[He phases through the wall.]
Scrooge: Marley! Watch out for that first...
[We hear Goofy tumbling down the stairs.]
Goofy: (offscreen) Whoa! (does his famous holler)
Scrooge: ...step.
[Later, Scrooge checks the fireplace and under the bed for any spirits. None to be found.]
Scrooge: Spirits. Heh! (blows out his candle) Humbug.
[He goes to his bed and sleeps. Then, something hops onto the nightstand. It lights the candle with its umbrella, revealing Jiminy Cricket. He rings the bell of Scrooge's clock.]
Scrooge: (offscreen) What, what, what?
[The duck goes back to sleep.]
Jiminy Cricket: Ahem!
[Scrooge wakes up and sees the cricket.]
Scrooge: W- What?
Jiminy Cricket: Well! It's about time. Haven't got all night, you know.
Scrooge: Who… Who are you?
Jiminy Cricket: Why, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.
[He shows Scrooge a badge on his shirt. "Ghost of Past Christmas Official," it read.]
Scrooge: Oh. I thought you'd be taller.
Jiminy Cricket: Humph! Listen, Scrooge, if men were measured by kindness, you'd be no bigger than a speck of dust.
Scrooge: Ha! Kindness is of little use in this world.
Jiminy Cricket: You didn't always think so. Come on, Scrooge, it's time to go.
Scrooge: Then go.
[Jiminy goes to open the window.]
Scrooge: Spirit! What… what are you doing?
Jiminy Cricket: We're gonna visit your past.
Scrooge: I'm not going out there. I'll-I'll fall.
Jiminy Cricket: Just hold on. (Scrooge grabs him) Whoop! Not too tight now.
Scrooge: Ohh!
[The two fly out the window and go for a ride through London.]
Scrooge: Spirit, look out!
[Scrooge flies into smoke from the chimney. He coughs and looks down, exclaiming before getting on top of Jiminy.]
Jiminy Cricket: What's wrong, Scrooge? Hee-hee-hee. I thought you enjoyed looking down on the world.
[Soon, they arrive at an old building. Fezziwig Tea Co. Scrooge recognizes it.]
Scrooge: Spirit, I believe I know this place. (as he drops down) Yes! It's old Fezziwig's. I couldn't have worked for a kinder man.
[He looks through the window to see a merry party going on. His old boss, Mr. Toad, is playing the fiddle.]
Scrooge: Why, it's old Fezziwig himself! (sees the partygoers) And all of my very dearest friends! 
[He then spots his younger self sitting on top of a box in the corner.]
Scrooge: And that shy lad in the corner. That's me!
Jiminy Cricket: Yes. That was before you became a miserable miser, consumed by greed.
Scrooge: Well, nobody's perfect. 
[He spots his old girlfriend, Daisy Duck, in the party.]
Scrooge: And there! There's lovely Isabelle!
[Daisy approaches the shy duck.]
Daisy: Ebenezer? Ebenezer?
Young Scrooge: Yes, Isabelle?
Daisy: My eyes are closed, my lips are puckered, and I'm standing under the mistletoe.
Young Scrooge: You're also standing on my foot.
[She notices and the two ducks dance together. Daisy then gives Scrooge a big kiss. He's lovestruck.]
Scrooge: Ah! I remember how much I was in love with her.
Jiminy Cricket: In ten years time, you learned to love something else.
[They find themselves in the counting house.]
Scrooge: Why... why, it's my counting house.
[We see his past self counting coins when Daisy comes in.]
Past Scrooge: 9,972... nine thousand...
Daisy: Ebenezer.
Past Scrooge: Yes, what is it?
Daisy: For years I've had this honeymoon cottage, Ebenezer. I've been waiting for you to keep your promise to marry me. Now I must know: Have you made your decision?
Past Scrooge: I have! Your last payment on the cottage was an hour late! I'm foreclosing the mortgage!
[Daisy's heart breaks and she leaves Scrooge, crying. The current Scrooge looks crushed by what he had done.]
Jiminy Cricket: You loved your gold more than that precious creature, and you lost her forever.
Past Scrooge: 9970... 
[Daisy slams the door, causing the coins to topple down.]
Past Scrooge: three.
Scrooge: Please, Spirit, I can no longer bear these memories. Take me home.
Jiminy Cricket: Remember, Scrooge, you fashioned these memories yourself.
[The scene fades back to Scrooge's bedroom. The clock rings twice.]
Scrooge: Why was I so foolish? Why? Why?
[Just then, something glows outside his bed.]
Scrooge: W- What's this?
Willie: (offscreen) Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!
[He looks out the covers to see a giant shrouded in green, Willie, surrounded by food.]
Willie: I smell... I mean, I smell... 
[Scrooge closes the covers. When he opens them again, the giant's eye appears.]
Willie: A stingy little Englishman! I think I do. (grabs Scrooge) Yeah, I do.
Scrooge: Please let me go. Don't eat me.
Willie: Why would the Ghost of Christmas Present - that's me - want to eat a distasteful little miser like you? Especially when there are so many good things to enjoy in life. See?
Scrooge: Ooh! Mince pies! Turkeys! Suckling pig!
[Scrooge lands in the pile of food.]
Willie: And don't forget the chocolate pot roast with "pisnachio. " Duh, with "pisnachio. " Duh, with... Uh, with yogurt.
Scrooge: (as he stands atop the pig) But where did all this come from?
Willie: From the heart, Scrooge. 
[Scrooge slips and falls into the grapes.]
Willie: (picks up the grapes) It's the food of generosity, which you have long denied your fellow man.
Scrooge: (pops out of the grapes) Generosity, ha! Nobody has ever shown me generosity.
Willie: You've never given them reason to. (eats a grape) And yet... there are some who still find enough warmth in their hearts even for the likes of you.
[He puts Scrooge in his robe pocket.]
Scrooge: Ha! No acquaintance of mine, I assure you!
Willie: Duh, you'll see.
[The giant opens the house and steps out. He lowers the roof down, grabs a nearby lamp pole, uses it like a flashlight, and walks around. He peeks in one house and an offscreen girl screams. He closes the roof and arrives at the Cratchit house.]
Willie: Duh, here we are.
[He lowers Scrooge to the building.]
Scrooge: Why did you bring me to this old shack?
Willie: This is the home of your overworked, underpaid employee, Bob Cratchit.
[Inside, Minnie Mouse is cooking a small bird by the fireplace.]
Scrooge: What's she cooking, a canary? Surely, they have more food than that? (sees the pot at the fireplace) Look on the fire.
Willie: Duh, what? Oh, that's your laundry.
[Minnie sets the small food down on the table. The children arrive at the table.]
Mickey: Not yet, children. We must wait for Tiny Tim.
Morty: (offscreen) Coming, Father. 
[Morty walks down the stairs while using a wooden crutch.]
Morty: I'm coming. 
[Mickey lifts Morty up and they come to the table.]
Morty: Oh, my! Look at all the wonderful things to eat! We must thank Mr. Scrooge.
[Minnie frowns while looking at Morty's crutch.]
Scrooge: Tell me, Spirit: What's wrong with that kind lad?
Willie: Much, I'm afraid. If these shadows remain unchanged, I see an empty chair where Tiny Tim once sat.
[The family has a nice supper regardless. Mickey hugs Morty warmly.]
Scrooge: Then that means... Tim will?
[The vision disappears.]
Scrooge: What... Where did they go?
[He finds that Willie has also disappeared.]
Scrooge: Spirit! Where are ya? Don't go! You must tell me about Tim! (Smoke pours in) Don't go! (Scrooge coughs before then saw a tombstone and gasps) Where did?
[Smoke pours in and Scrooge coughs before seeing a shrouded figure looming over him.]
Scrooge: W- Who are you? (coughs) Are you the Ghost of Christmas Future? (the spirit nods) Please speak to me. Tell me: What will happen to Tiny Tim?
[The spirit points his finger showing Scrooge, Mickey and his family mourning in despair. Mickey sheds a tear before lowering a crutch on the grave. Tiny Tim has died.]
Scrooge: Oh, no! Spirit, I didn't want this to happen. Tell me these events can yet be changed.
[He spots a couple of weasels standing by an empty grave.]
Weasel 1: I've never seen a funeral like this one.
Weasel 2: Aye. No mourners, no friends to bid him farewell.
Weasel 1: Oh, well. Let's rest a minute before we fill it in, eh? He ain't going nowheres!
[The weasels leave, laughing. Scrooge looks down at the grave.]
Scrooge: Spirit... whose lonely grave is this?
[The spirit lights his cigar, showing his face as Pete. He lights the headstone to reveal his Scrooge's own name on it.]
Pete: Why, yours, Ebenezer. The richest man in the cemetery!
[He pushes Scrooge down into the grave, laughing evilly.]
Scrooge: Please! Oh, oh!
[As Scrooge hangs by his cane, a coffin opens up below, spouting fire and smoke.]
Scrooge: No, no, no! No! No! Please! 
[He falls into the fiery depths. The scene fades to Scrooge rolling around in his blanket.]
Scrooge: Spirit! Let me out! Let me out! I'll... (stosp) Eh? What? I'm back in my own room.
[He opens his window to see it's Christmas morning.]
Scrooge: It's Christmas morning! I haven't missed it! (hugs a dove) The spirits have given me another chance! (lets it go) Ooh, I know just what I'll do! They'll be so surprised! 
[He puts on his scarf while it's still on the pole and steps on his hat. He sets the hat on top of the pole.]
Scrooge: Ooh, what a wonderful day! Oh! There's so much to do! There's so much to do!
[He gets out of the pole and grabs his jacket before heading out. However, he comes back in.]
Scrooge: I can't go out like this! (grabs his cane) There! That's better.
[He leaves his house and emerges a changed man.]
Scrooge: Merry Christmas to one and all!
[He slides down to Ratty and Moley.]
Scrooge: Well, bless 'em! Good morning, gentlemen! I have something for you.
[He puts 20 coins in a hat and gives it to Moley.]
Ratty: 20 gold sovereigns? Oh, no!
Scrooge: Not enough? Well, all right. 50 gold sovereigns.
[He gives him a bag of money.]
Moley: Really, Mr. Scrooge, it's...
Scrooge: Still not enough? Hee-hee-hee! Aye! You drive a hard bargain! Here ya are.
[He gives them more bags of money.]
Scrooge: 100 gold pieces and not a penny more.
Ratty: Oh, thank you, Mr. Scrooge. Thank you. And a merry Christmas to you.
[Scrooge goes around, greeting the citizens.]
Scrooge: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
[Donald and his horse stop before Scrooge.]
Scrooge: Ah, nephew!
Donald: Uncle Scrooge!
Scrooge: I'm looking forward to that wonderful meal of yours.
Donald: Well, I'll be doggone. You mean you're coming?
Scrooge: Of course I am! You know how much I like candied fruits with spiced sugar cakes. I'll be over promptly at two. Keep it piping hot!
Donald: I will, Uncle Scrooge. I will. And a very merry Christmas to you!
[Later, Scrooge emerges from the toy store, holding a big bag.]
Scrooge: Merry Christmas, and keep the change!
[Some kids run by Scrooge.]
Scrooge: Oh! Wonderful lads! And now for Cratchit!
[Soon, he arrives at Mickey's house, trying to pretend he's still his grouchy old self. He knocks on the door with his cane.]
Scrooge: Ahem!
Mickey: (answers the door) Why, Mr. Scrooge! Ha, m-merry Christmas! (as Scrooge enters) W- Won't you come in?
Scrooge: Merry Christmas. Ha! I have another bundle for you.
[He sets down the bag and a teddy bear pops out. Scrooge quickly puts it in his coat pocket.]
Mickey: But, sir, it's Christmas day.
Scrooge: Christmas day indeed. Just another excuse for being lazy. And another thing, Cratchit. I've had enough of this half-day off stuff. You leave me no alternative… but to give you...
[Morty opens the bag to reveal...]
Morty: Toys!
Scrooge: Yes, toys! No, no, no, no, no. I'm giving you a raise… and making you my partner.
Mickey: Uh-uh, partner? Oh, thank you, Mr. Scrooge.
Scrooge: Merry Christmas, Bob.
Morty: And God bless us... everyone.
[The children gather around Scrooge as he and the Cratchits have a happy time on Christmas Day. The short ends.]