FPD transcript

==Messages==
===0.msg===
0 0 0 1 99 That wouldn't do nuthin'.
0 5 0 1 99 "Seldom is heard a discouraging word"
In other words, you get no response.
0 4 0 1 99 Keep yor cotton-pickin' hands OFFA that thang!
0 8 0 1 99 Where in tarnation ya think YER going?
0 6 0 1 99 That thang doan' work with that other thang.
0 1 0 1 99 That ain't nuthin'.
0 2 0 1 99 It ain't talkin'.
0 3 0 1 99 That wouldn't take you nowhere, nohow.
11 0 0 1 99 There ain't enough memory available right now to show no "about" screen.
7 7 0 1 99 Click hereabouts (or press Control-C) to bring up yonder control panel.
3 7 0 1 99 Use this here icon to pick sumpthin' up, take sumpthin', open sumpthin', or otherwise do sumpthin' with sumpthin'. 
10 7 0 1 99 Use this here icon to leave close-ups.
5 7 0 1 99 This here's what ya call yer fast-forward icon; it rushes ya past the "cartoon" sequences...
5 7 0 2 99 ...but ya gotta spring for the REAL version of the game to make it work, though!
8 7 0 1 99 To learn more about the other icons further along up yonder in the icon bar, y'all click here, then pass the question mark over them other icons.
6 7 0 1 99 Click here (or press TAB) to open yourn inventory.
9 7 0 1 99 This here window shows you your currently see-lected inventory item. Click here to pick up the item.
2 7 0 1 99 Use this here icon to get dee-scriptions of thangs in the game.
12 0 0 1 99 'Nuff of this demo! I wanna play the REAL THANG!
12 0 9 1 99 Wait! 
12 0 8 1 99 Baah! 
18 0 6 1 99 Now wait jest one darn minute!
18 0 5 1 99 Git outta here!
18 0 1 1 99 Wuz you really wantin' to restart?
18 0 4 1 99 This here restartin' bizness... 
14 7 0 1 99 This here icon shows how many points we done given you so far.
4 7 0 1 99 Use this here icon to jaw with other characters 'round town.
1 7 0 1 99 Use this here icon to move Freddy around town.
===10.msg===
1 0 0 1 97 Memory done fragmented
1 0 2 1 97 Debug 
1 0 1 1 97 So what? 
2 0 4 1 97 Where to, Freddy?
===13.msg===
1 0 0 1 99 Knowing that you would never have pushed this button unless you wanted to know more about Freddy Pharkas, we've decided not to tell you anything! Buy the game if you want to know more!
1 0 0 2 99 Jes' joshin' ya.
1 0 0 3 99 FREDDY PHARKAS, FRONTIER PHARMACIST is the first Comedy Western in computer game history (and unless you do YOUR part, it may be the LAST!). It'll be available in the Spring of 1993, and will support 256-color VGA, 16-color EGA and all major sound cards.
1 0 0 4 99 To order yer very own copy, use your Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover or PharkasCard and call 1-800-326-6654, Monday through Friday, 7am to 7pm (Pacific Time). Outside the U.S., call 209-683-4468. In Europe, call 0734-303171.
1 0 0 5 99 This demo was designed by Josh Mandel and Al Lowe, programmed by Cindy Swafford, Steve Conrad and William Shockley, executed artwise by Bob Gleason, Ruben Huante, Phy Williams (no relation) and Karin Young, composed by Aubrey Hodges and quality-checked for value and consistency by Mike Pickhinke.
1 0 0 6 99 Additional art assistance by Mike Hutchison and Deanna Yahlkee. Additional QA by Larry Buchanan, John Roderick, Beth Quintana, Liz Jacobs, John Cunney and the Wacky Kids in Technical Support. Additional "additional" screens by additional personnel.
1 0 0 7 99 Meanwhile, back at the demo...
===15.msg===
0 6 0 1 99 That there's a fine bit of brainwork, kid. But that thang don't work with that other thang.
5 1 0 1 99 It's a full root beer bottle, tinted dark to keep sunlight from deteriorating the delicate flavor of the thick, murky rotgut brew. (Y'see, today's root beer is NOTHING like the root beer brewed 'way back when.)
20 1 0 1 99 You'd better do something with that bomb before it explodes!
7 1 0 1 99 Nice lumps of Fresh from the Forge\08 Charcoal, "The Professional Blacksmith's Choice since 1822."
9 1 0 1 99 Formerly a cup of coffee, now just an ugly mug.
2 1 0 1 99 One empty bottle of Ol' Fresno Extra-Syrupy Bock Root Beer.
2 12 0 1 99 You carefully siphon the coffee into the root beer bottle. How brilliant! A drunk person might imbibe this entire bottle before realizing that it isn't root beer!
6 1 0 1 99 The empty root beer bottle is now full of coffee. Someone with sufficiently deadened tastebuds might never be able to tell the difference!
10 1 0 1 99 A mug of Hazelnut Mocha Java, strong enough to sober up even the most grizzled drunkard.
10 1 0 2 99 Trouble is, what grizzled drunkard wants to be seen sipping java?
21 1 0 1 99 Some saltpeter, graciously provided by the ever-thankful and re-moleified Madame Ovaree.
4 1 0 1 99 A full vial of sulfur, courtesy of the Doc!
13 19 0 1 99 A perfect thought. Only thing bein' that ya gotta attach the fuse to sumpthin' first before you should light it.
13 1 0 1 99 A spare fuse.
14 7 0 1 99 If you're wantin' to do sumpthin' with one of your inventory doodads, click on this here icon and then click the little hand on the whatchamacallit.
15 7 0 1 99 To learn about them other icons in this whatchacallyer inventory window, first click hereabouts, then pass the question mark over them other buttons.
16 7 0 1 99 To look more closely at one of your inventory thangs, first click here, then click on the thang.
17 7 0 1 99 Clickin' here'll shut your inventory window for ya and return to the game. 
43 7 0 1 99 Click on this doohickey to see the next page of inventory thangs. 
18 7 0 1 99 To use one of your inventory thangs on sumpthin', first click here, then click there on the thang you're wantin' to use, then click on OK. The thang you see-lect will appear in that other buncha icons in the icon bar.
19 1 0 1 99 Matches from The Golden Balls Saloon the second most popular nightspot in Coarsegold!
11 1 0 1 99 A fancy imported Italian mole.
12 1 0 1 99 You vaguely remember filling this prescription last week. Unfortunately, the handwriting is so hopelessly muddled that you can't see what it was or who it was for.
8 1 0 1 99 It's an empty saltpeter bottle.
3 26 0 1 99 You crumble the charcoal into the can.
3 19 0 1 99 Striking a match against your grizzled chin, you use the match to light the fuse.
3 22 0 1 99 You sprinkle the saltpeter into the can.
3 1 0 1 99 A tin can, yanked from the twitching, flea-ridden hand of the Sheriff's guest.
3 1 9 1 99 It's a tin can filled with sulfur, charcoal, and saltpeter. Why, this thing might explode...if only there was some way to light it!
3 1 5 1 99 It's a tin can with a handful of Fresh from the Forge\08 Charcoal in it.
3 1 4 1 99 It's a tin can full of sodium nitrate, alias nitre, alias saltpeter.
3 1 7 1 99 It's a tin can filled with saltpeter and charcoal.
3 1 6 1 99 It's a tin can filled with saltpeter and sulfur.
3 1 3 1 99 It's a tin can filled with sulfur.
3 1 8 1 99 It's a tin can packed with sulfur and charcoal.
3 13 0 1 99 But the sulfur vial is empty!
3 18 2 1 99 You attach the fuse to the can.
3 18 10 1 99 You can't get the fuse to stay in the can unless the can is filled with something first.
3 18 10 2 99 (Here's a hint: you'll need to fill the can with the three ingredients needed to make homemade gunpowder!)
3 20 0 1 99 But the saltpeter container is empty!
3 14 0 1 99 You put the sulfur into the can.
22 19 0 1 99 You light the fuse! This is getting exciting!
22 1 0 1 99 Why, it's a homemade bomb...just like Ma used to make (if your Ma was Ma Barker)!
1 1 0 1 99 An empty vial, clearly marked "sulfur."
===19.msg===
1 0 1 1 99 Your pockets are completely empty, Freddy. 
1 11 0 1 99 Though you haven't had a drink in decades, you tilt your head back and gulp down the frosty brew with all the practiced savoir faire of a real professional drunkard.
1 4 0 1 99 You hitch up your pants and straighten your duds. At least SOMEONE in this town still tries to cut a dashing figure.
1 12 0 1 99 You toss back the coffee. Mmmm! Cafe Hazelnut Mocha! That bartender, Jean Luc, has really good taste.
1 1 0 1 99 It's you, Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist! 
1 2 0 1 99 You give yourself a good talking to.
1 3 0 1 99 You narrowly avoid bumping into yourself.
===24.msg===
1 7 0 1 97 Raise this nogood varmint to increase the amount of incidental animation. Lower him if Freddy seems to slog around like a wagon knee-deep in manure.
9 7 0 1 97 Here's where y'all learn more than you wanna about the fellas that put this here demo together.
10 7 0 1 97 To learn more about the other buttons in this here window, first click here, then pass yer question mark over those other buttons there.
11 7 0 1 97 Use this here to close this panel and resume game play.
8 7 0 1 97 Use this here to slowly back outta the game, real careful-like.
7 7 0 1 97 Use this here to restart the game all over again, from the very beginning.
5 7 0 1 99 This button lets you RESTORE a saved game...but we could only afford to put it in the real game. We had to sacrifice it for the demo!
6 7 0 1 99 In the real game, this button would let you SAVE a game for later use...but the Budget Director in Charge of Buttons said we couldn't afford it in the demo.
3 7 0 1 97 This fella adjusts Freddy's walkin' speed, within the limits of your computer's advanced caperbilities. Hang 'em higher and Freddy walks faster. Hang 'em lower and Freddy slows down.
4 7 0 1 97 Lower this here guy to make text remain on the screen longer. Raise him if you are a fast reader and got lots of book learnin'.
2 7 0 1 97 This guy here turns up the noise on what ya call yer sound boards and syn-thee-sizers. The higher you hang 'em, the higher the volume.
===100.msg===
1 0 0 1 99 Play A Minigame
1 0 0 2 99 Watch the Ballad
1 0 0 3 99 Vamoose
===150.msg===
1 0 0 1 99 When the West was wild and lawless,
1 0 0 2 99 There was once a druggist, brave and flawless,
1 0 0 3 99 Named Freddy Pharkas,
1 0 0 4 99 A champion through and through.
1 0 0 5 99 Now his life's the stuff of stories,
1 0 0 6 99 Of computer games with inventories,
1 0 0 7 99 Puzzles and graphics, and twisted humor too.
1 0 0 8 99 Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
1 0 0 9 99 Showing you how the West was Fun,
1 0 0 10 99 Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
1 0 0 11 99 Pharmacist with a gun.
1 0 0 12 99 Freddy's fable is an earful:
1 0 0 13 99 Back when men were men and sheep were fearful,
1 0 0 14 99 Folks down in Coarsegold were headin' downhill fast.
1 0 0 15 99 Then a villain, spreading mayhem,
1 0 0 16 99 Comes to town and tries to scare away them,
1 0 0 17 99 Can Freddy save them, and reconcile his past?
1 0 0 18 99 Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
1 0 0 19 99 Hiding out from his own dark youth,
1 0 0 20 99 Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
1 0 0 21 99 Stands for justice and truth.
1 0 0 22 99 Now the game of Freddy Pharkas
1 0 0 23 99 Is from old Al Lowe, who made his mark as
1 0 0 24 99 Dad and designer of Larrys one through five.
1 0 0 25 99 But while Larry's slightly dirty,
1 0 0 26 99 Freddy isn't anywhere as nerdy,
1 0 0 27 99 Short, lewd or balding, nor pushing forty-five.
1 0 0 28 99 Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
1 0 0 29 99 Digitized and in VGA.
1 0 0 30 99 Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.
1 0 0 31 99 Saddle up and let's play.
===220.msg (a)===
26 4 0 1 99 Oh, wuz you just gonna heft that thing up and lug it with ya? Think again, pharmacist.
26 1 0 1 99 Smithie's anvil, a mighty heavy block of iron and other largely non-reactive trace elements.
22 4 0 1 99 What you want ta go rootin' around in the dirt fer?
22 1 0 1 99 Yonder is Balance Street.
28 11 0 1 99 No need to deposit the root beer here. You'll be depositing it elsewhere in a few hours.
28 21 0 1 99 Bombing the bank?!? Freddy, you're supposed to be on the side of law and order. We're not going to indulge your deviant side by presenting you with a colorful animated exploding bank.
28 15 0 1 99 This isn't a deposit bottle; you can't deposit it at the bank.
28 26 0 1 99 What were you thinking of?
28 26 0 2 99 Did you want to draw on the building with the charcoal?
28 26 0 3 99 Were you trying to throw the briquettes through the bank window?
28 26 0 4 99 WHAT WAS ON YOUR MIND?
28 26 0 5 99 Seriously, write to the Freddy Pharkas team and tell us. We'd really like to know.
28 4 0 1 99 The bank is closed for Demo Day.
28 4 0 2 99 Buy the real game and we'll let you in.
28 4 0 3 99 If we feel like it.
28 3 0 1 99 What does this look like, the Starship Enterprise? Ya can't just walk up to the doors and expect 'em to open.
28 3 0 2 99 Don't be so lazy. Just how do you think the frontier got explored and built, anyhoo? By people like you, who expect doors to open automatically if you just walk up to 'em? NOT HARDLY!
16 11 0 1 99 No need to deposit the root beer here. You'll be depositing it elsewhere in a few hours.
16 21 0 1 99 Bombing the bank?!? Freddy, you're supposed to be on the side of law and order. We're not going to indulge your deviant side by presenting you with a colorful animated exploding bank.
16 15 0 1 99 This isn't a deposit bottle; you can't deposit it at the bank.
16 26 0 1 99 What were you thinking of?
16 26 0 2 99 Did you want to draw on the building with the charcoal?
16 26 0 3 99 Were you trying to throw the briquettes through the bank window?
16 26 0 4 99 WHAT WAS ON YOUR MIND?
16 26 0 5 99 Seriously, write to the Freddy Pharkas team and tell us. We'd really like to know.
16 16 0 1 99 You wave the empty mug at the bank, but curiously, it doesn't respond.
16 4 0 1 99 Feels real stately and official, like a bank.
16 10 0 1 99 No thanks, Bob's Bank only accepts decaf.
16 12 0 1 99 No thanks, Bob's Bank only accepts decaf.
16 22 0 1 99 The big building is very impressed with the pretty little jar of saltpeter.
16 14 0 1 99 You wave the vial of sulfur frantically at the building. Curiously, it doesn't respond.
16 18 0 1 99 You consider sticking the fuse in the bank, lighting it and running away. But then you remember two things:
16 18 0 2 99 One, you're on the side of law-and-order.
16 18 0 3 99 Two, you're not a sub-zero moron.
16 1 0 1 99 The First Bank of Bob. Hard to imagine somebody knockin' over this place, what with the tight security and all.
16 19 0 1 99 You'd waste a lot of matches trying to ignite a brick building.
16 9 0 1 99 You consider giving the bank a quick facelift, but you decide it would take more than a mole to make this building look decent.
16 17 0 1 99 You're out of luck today. Bank's closed.
16 20 0 1 99 That's how this place was robbed in the first place...
16 20 0 2 99 ...somebody left the bank ajar!
16 24 0 1 99 That won't work.
16 24 0 2 99 But if you stand around outside the bank long enough waving the tin can around, maybe somebody will buy a pencil from you.
16 23 0 1 99 You'd make a pretty inadequate terrorist, trying to blow up a bank with an unlit bomb.
16 13 0 1 99 You look at the bank through the vial. Oooh, pretty colors!
1 0 0 1 99 There's a lot more to see and do over in that direction, but only if you have the REAL version of the game, not this li'l bogus one.
17 21 0 1 99 C'mon, Freddy, that bomb has a bandito's name on it, and the bandito isn't hanging out in the corral!
17 4 0 1 99 Hey now, that's Church property!
17 6 0 1 99 Even when you've got your good stuff, it's too far a throw.
17 1 0 1 99 The Hallelujah Corral, owned by the preacher, Sy Hallelujah.
21 4 0 1 99 Yep, solid fence.
21 1 0 1 99 It's just an old fence.
24 11 0 1 99 Smithie would not appreciate your using the firepit for a trash receptacle.
24 21 0 1 99 Why not throw the bomb where it can do some good instead?
24 21 0 2 99 Lucky for you, it's got one of those extra slow-burning fuses.
24 15 0 1 99 You won't be needing any melted glass in this demo.
24 15 0 2 99 However, we reserve the right to use melted glass in the full version of the game.
24 26 0 1 99 That's okay, you can keep the charcoal.
24 16 0 1 99 The porcelain mug was already fired.
24 16 0 2 99 (Sorry, it's a pottery joke.)
24 4 3 1 99 You don't need to do any cauterizing of any major limbs today.
24 4 4 1 99 You poke around in the embers of Smithie's firepit, and you find some nice crumbly charcoal.
24 4 8 1 99 You don't need any more charcoal.
24 10 0 1 99 You consider dowsing the firepit with coffee, but that would spoil the lovely aroma.
24 10 0 2 99 (Of the firepit.)
24 12 0 1 99 You consider dowsing the firepit with coffee, but that would spoil the lovely aroma.
24 12 0 2 99 (Of the firepit.)
24 22 0 1 99 Don't waste the saltpeter, you'll need it later!
24 14 0 1 99 This cut-rate version of the game doesn't include spectacular pyrotechnic effects and Smell-O-Vision rotten eggs smells.
24 18 0 1 99 That'd be a waste of a good fuse.
24 1 3 1 99 It's Smithie's firepit.
24 1 4 1 99 Smithie seems to have let the fire die out. He must've gone back to fetch another mole. When one fire dies, another flares.
24 19 0 1 99 Let Smithie handle the firepit.
24 9 0 1 99 Hang onto that, it'll prove valuable.
24 17 0 1 99 Keep this prescription for your records. You may throw away any duplicates.
24 20 0 1 99 That jar will come in handy later.
24 24 0 1 99 You decide not to try to melt the tin can.
24 24 0 2 99 (That idea really smelt!)
24 23 0 1 99 There's no reason to use the unlit bomb on the firepit.
24 13 0 1 99 That's a vial idea!
2 11 0 1 99 He's got to drive later.
2 15 0 1 99 What were you going to try to do, siphon something??
2 16 0 1 99 The horse is too busy to fill your cup.
2 4 0 1 59 Hey! Can't let you do that, Pharkas. You're not a member of the Smithy's Union.
2 10 0 1 99 Sorry, the horse only takes Hi-Test.
2 12 0 1 59 None of that sissy brew for Ol' Paint!
2 14 0 1 99 Quit horsing around with the sulfur.
2 18 0 1 99 You can't find any convenient place to ... um ... attach the fuse.
2 1 0 1 99 Smithie's got one of the local horses up on blocks.
2 1 0 2 99 (Hope it's not another one of those lube jobs...yecccch!)
2 19 0 1 99 The horse used to engage in such horseplay when it was in college, but it doesn't light those things anymore.
2 9 0 1 99 Yes, it would look prettier that way, wouldn't it? But the mole belongs elsewhere.
2 17 0 1 99 Silly! Horses can't read.
2 2 0 1 49 Hiya, Ol' Paint! How are ya?
2 2 0 2 99 The horse only replies with a neigh.
2 2 0 3 99 Must be one of those neigh-sayers.
2 24 0 1 99 I shudder to think of what you were thinking the horse would do with the tin can.
2 13 0 1 99 What's the horse going to do with that vial?
20 4 0 1 99 Where was you thinking of takin' it?
20 1 0 1 99 It's a hitching post, for posting your hitches.
18 4 0 1 99 Uh-oh. Smithie's gonna be mighty sore if you take his saddle!
18 1 0 1 99 It's Smithie's old, worn-out saddle. Smithie's been spending time in the saddle, but not this one -- he's been ridin' bareback down at Madame's.
27 4 0 1 99 There's nothin' under that sidewalk except mud, snakes and scorpions. None of which you feel like handling right at this moment.
27 1 0 1 99 It may not be as fancy as one of them newfangled cee-ment sidewalks, but it keeps your feet outta the mud and horse leavings.
14 11 0 1 59 Thanks much, Pharkas, but I make it a point never to drink and drive steel.
14 15 0 1 59 Did you drink that, Pharkas? Good fer you, mebbe it'll put a li'l hair on that scrawny chest of yours. HAR!
14 16 0 1 59 Well, you got just about the ugliest mug I EVER seen! HAR!
14 4 1 1 59 Quit touchin' me, Pharkas. We're manly men around here.
14 4 2 1 99 You deftly pluck Madame's fancy-shmancy imported mole offa Smithie's puss.
14 4 2 2 59 Hey, how'd that git there? Thanks, Pharkas, I didn't want no sissified mole clutterin' up my rugged frontier features.
14 10 0 1 59 Funny, that don't SMELL like Ol' Fresno Extra-Syrupy Bock Root Beer!
14 12 0 1 59 Yup, smells like that prissy hazelnut coffee crap they give away down at the Golden Balls.
14 22 0 1 59 Hey, Madame Ovaree has some of thet stuff, too! Flavor crystals, she calls 'em, she puts 'em in my tea before we do nature's mystery dance.
14 14 0 1 59 Smells like rotten eggs! Too bad I ain't got m' old spellbook from King's Quest Six.
14 18 0 1 59 Looks like ya gotcherself a short fuse there, Pharkas! HAR!
14 1 0 1 99 That's Smithie, the Blacksmith, owner of Smithie's Blacksmith Shop.
14 1 0 2 99 How do you suppose he got THAT name?
14 19 0 1 59 Them's the matches they give away down to the Golden Balls.
14 17 0 1 59 I cain't read a word of this, Pharkas.
14 20 0 1 59 Ooh, pretty bottle, Pharkas! Now run along and play!
14 2 6 1 49 You look quite a bit more respectable without that artificial protruberance next to your philtrum. Now, how about lending me a hand with that bank robber?
14 2 6 2 59 I'm only gonna tell you this once, Pharkas.
14 2 6 3 99 (You didn't know he could count!)
14 2 6 4 59 I'm not helpin' ya. Yer crazy to even go after that desperado in the first place. 'Sides, I got places to go. I'm a very busy man. Now, SCRAM!
14 2 5 1 49 Hey, Smithie!
14 2 5 2 59 Pharkas! Ain't seen your scrawny hide lately.
14 2 5 3 49 Yep, well, I'm just a mite concerned about that bank robber holed up at the Ol' Abandoned Gold Mine. Would you be amenable to helping me bring that thieving rapscallion to justice?
14 2 5 4 59 Sorry, Pharkas, but I'm a steel-drivin' man, not a crook-catchin' man. Then I'm a-gonna pay me a visit to Madame...fifth time this week, too!
14 2 5 5 49 Welp, thanks anyway, Smithie. Big help you are.
14 2 5 6 59 Hey, we all got our jobs to do, Pharkas. Don't you pull none of your fancy East coast guilt trips on me, I ain't fallin' for it.
14 24 0 1 59 Fine tin can you got yerself, Pharkas. Ain't you clever? Now scram!
14 13 0 1 59 Yer just like ol' Doc Gillespie, aintcha? Comin' up to me with that thang, expectin' me to fill it fer ya. Well, I'm feelin' just fine now, thank you very much, and I don't need no more tests! So GIT!
15 11 0 1 99 It's a nice thought, leaving the root beer for Smithie.
15 11 0 2 99 You're such a nice guy, Freddy. Is it any wonder that everyone in town loves you?
15 21 0 1 99 But the Smithie is your friend! Why blow up his livelihood?
15 15 0 1 99 Sorry, Smithie had to shut down his recycling center. Nobody was bringing in any aluminum.
15 26 0 1 99 If you tried to deface Smithie's shop, Smithie would try to deface you.
15 26 0 2 99 And you'd look pretty sorry without deface.
15 16 0 1 49 Maybe I should be a heckuva nice guy and leave this complimentary coffee mug for Smithie.
15 16 0 2 49 Of course, he DOES call me "Pharkas" and make comments about my slight build and slender stature.
15 16 0 3 49 And he does tend to boss me around.
15 16 0 4 49 So the heck with him! Let him get his OWN damn complimentary coffee mug!
15 4 0 1 99 You get yourself a handful of splinters fer your troubles.
15 10 0 1 99 Ah yes, the old pour-the-bottle-of-coffee all-over-the-Smithy trick!
15 10 0 2 99 He'd see through THAT one in a minute. Better try something else.
15 12 0 1 99 The Smithy shop prefers tea, thank you very much.
15 22 0 1 99 There's nobody here to give the saltpeter to.
15 14 0 1 99 Perfect! Sprinkle a little sulfur around the store and...
15 14 0 2 99 and...uh...
15 14 0 3 99 And what? And nothing. Forget about it.
15 18 0 1 99 Considering how long it's been since Smithie took a bath, there are already enough "phews" around here.
15 18 0 2 99 Alright, fine, it was really bad. But really, what did you EXPECT to see?
15 1 7 1 99 Looks like Smithie closed up shop for the day.
15 1 0 1 99 It's Smithie's blacksmith shop.
15 1 0 2 99 You recall asking Smithie if he was gonna think up something more original to call hisself than "Smithie."
15 1 0 3 99 What happened directly afterwards is kind of a blur, but you recall it took ol' Doc Gillespie three hours to remove the horseshoe.
15 19 0 1 49 Maybe I'll be a swell guy and leave these matches lying here for Smithie's convenience.
15 19 0 2 49 Then again, Smithie does take me for some kinda sap.
15 19 0 3 49 Just because he's the strongest man in town, he thinks he can push me around.
15 19 0 4 49 Let him find his own damned matches! I'm not doing HIM any favors.
15 19 0 5 49 Harrumph!
15 9 0 1 99 The front of Smithie's won't be much improved by the addition of the mole.
15 17 0 1 99 Don't bother. Smithie's torn down the last fifteen prescriptions you posted on his building anyway.
15 20 0 1 99 You rap the jar against the building a few times, but nobody answers.
15 24 0 1 99 Just for the heck of it, you rap the tin can on the building a few times.
15 24 0 2 99 Much to your surprise, nothing happens.
15 23 0 1 99 Now there's a daring fellow! Leaving an unlit bomb outside the Smithy. What a feat of derring-do! 
15 23 0 2 99 (What a waste of time!)
15 13 0 1 99 The building seems utterly uninterested in the vial.
23 21 0 1 99 Sorry, Freddy, you'll have to find a better use for that bomb.
23 4 0 1 99 It's good, solid, hard-packed old Western dirt from an authentic old Western town.
23 1 0 1 99 This here's the western leg of Main Street. Off to the left, you can see what's left of the bridge over Blackwater Creek; yonder south lies Ye Olde 'Orehouse, and Balance Street leads north to the Bluff.
19 4 0 1 99 You swish your hand around in the filthy water, but there's nothing except the 10 percent of horse spit at the bottom.
19 1 0 1 99 The horses get led to this. Making them drink it is a whole 'nuther problem. Mostly 'cuz Smithie don't have an outhouse nearby.
25 4 0 1 99 It's long been stripped down. There ain't nothin' on it worth taking.
25 1 0 1 99 That there wagon was left by this guy from Serenia who could never get the dang thing repaired.
===220.msg (b)===
26 4 0 1 99 Oh, wuz you just gonna heft that thing up and lug it with ya? Think again, pharmacist.
26 1 0 1 99 Smithie's anvil, a mighty heavy block of iron and other largely non-reactive trace elements.
22 4 0 1 99 What you want ta go rootin' around in the dirt fer?
22 1 0 1 99 Yonder is Balance Street.
28 11 0 1 99 No need to deposit the root beer here. You'll be depositing it elsewhere in a few hours.
28 21 0 1 99 Bombing the bank?!? Freddy, you're supposed to be on the side of law and order. We're not going to indulge your deviant side by presenting you with a colorful animated exploding bank.
28 15 0 1 99 This isn't a deposit bottle; you can't deposit it at the bank.
28 26 0 1 99 What were you thinking of?
28 26 0 2 99 Did you want to draw on the building with the charcoal?
28 26 0 3 99 Were you trying to throw the briquettes through the bank window?
28 26 0 4 99 WHAT WAS ON YOUR MIND?
28 26 0 5 99 Seriously, write to the Freddy Pharkas team and tell us. We'd really like to know.
28 4 0 1 99 The bank is closed for Demo Day.
28 4 0 2 99 Buy the real game and we'll let you in.
28 4 0 3 99 If we feel like it.
28 3 0 1 99 What does this look like, the Starship Enterprise? Ya can't just walk up to the doors and expect 'em to open.
28 3 0 2 99 Don't be so lazy. Just how do you think the frontier got explored and built, anyhoo? By people like you, who expect doors to open automatically if you just walk up to 'em? NOT HARDLY!
16 11 0 1 99 No need to deposit the root beer here. You'll be depositing it elsewhere in a few hours.
16 21 0 1 99 Bombing the bank?!? Freddy, you're supposed to be on the side of law and order. We're not going to indulge your deviant side by presenting you with a colorful animated exploding bank.
16 15 0 1 99 This isn't a deposit bottle; you can't deposit it at the bank.
16 26 0 1 99 What were you thinking of?
16 26 0 2 99 Did you want to draw on the building with the charcoal?
16 26 0 3 99 Were you trying to throw the briquettes through the bank window?
16 26 0 4 99 WHAT WAS ON YOUR MIND?
16 26 0 5 99 Seriously, write to the Freddy Pharkas team and tell us. We'd really like to know.
16 16 0 1 99 You wave the empty mug at the bank, but curiously, it doesn't respond.
16 4 0 1 99 Feels real stately and official, like a bank.
16 10 0 1 99 No thanks, Bob's Bank only accepts decaf.
16 12 0 1 99 No thanks, Bob's Bank only accepts decaf.
16 22 0 1 99 The big building is very impressed with the pretty little jar of saltpeter.
16 14 0 1 99 You wave the vial of sulfur frantically at the building. Curiously, it doesn't respond.
16 18 0 1 99 You consider sticking the fuse in the bank, lighting it and running away. But then you remember two things:
16 18 0 2 99 One, you're on the side of law-and-order.
16 18 0 3 99 Two, you're not a sub-zero moron.
16 1 0 1 99 The First Bank of Bob. Hard to imagine somebody knockin' over this place, what with the tight security and all.
16 19 0 1 99 You'd waste a lot of matches trying to ignite a brick building.
16 9 0 1 99 You consider giving the bank a quick facelift, but you decide it would take more than a mole to make this building look decent.
16 17 0 1 99 You're out of luck today. Bank's closed.
16 20 0 1 99 That's how this place was robbed in the first place...
16 20 0 2 99 ...somebody left the bank ajar!
16 24 0 1 99 That won't work.
16 24 0 2 99 But if you stand around outside the bank long enough waving the tin can around, maybe somebody will buy a pencil from you.
16 23 0 1 99 You'd make a pretty inadequate terrorist, trying to blow up a bank with an unlit bomb.
16 13 0 1 99 You look at the bank through the vial. Oooh, pretty colors!
1 0 0 1 99 There's a lot more to see and do over in that direction, but only if you have the REAL version of the game, not this li'l bogus one.
17 21 0 1 99 C'mon, Freddy, that bomb has a bandito's name on it, and the bandito isn't hanging out in the corral!
17 4 0 1 99 Hey now, that's Church property!
17 6 0 1 99 Even when you've got your good stuff, it's too far a throw.
17 1 0 1 99 The Hallelujah Corral, owned by the preacher, Sy Hallelujah.
21 4 0 1 99 Yep, solid fence.
21 1 0 1 99 It's just an old fence.
24 11 0 1 99 Smithie would not appreciate your using the firepit for a trash receptacle.
24 21 0 1 99 Why not throw the bomb where it can do some good instead?
24 21 0 2 99 Lucky for you, it's got one of those extra slow-burning fuses.
24 15 0 1 99 You won't be needing any melted glass in this demo.
24 15 0 2 99 However, we reserve the right to use melted glass in the full version of the game.
24 26 0 1 99 That's okay, you can keep the charcoal.
24 16 0 1 99 The porcelain mug was already fired.
24 16 0 2 99 (Sorry, it's a pottery joke.)
24 4 3 1 99 You don't need to do any cauterizing of any major limbs today.
24 4 4 1 99 You poke around in the embers of Smithie's firepit, and you find some nice crumbly charcoal.
24 10 0 1 99 You consider dowsing the firepit with coffee, but that would spoil the lovely aroma.
24 10 0 2 99 (Of the firepit.)
24 12 0 1 99 You consider dowsing the firepit with coffee, but that would spoil the lovely aroma.
24 12 0 2 99 (Of the firepit.)
24 22 0 1 99 Don't waste the saltpeter, you'll need it later!
24 14 0 1 99 This cut-rate version of the game doesn't include spectacular pyrotechnic effects and Smell-O-Vision rotten eggs smells.
24 18 0 1 99 That'd be a waste of a good fuse.
24 1 3 1 99 It's Smithie's firepit.
24 1 4 1 99 Smithie seems to have let the fire die out. He must've gone back to fetch another mole. When one fire dies, another flares.
24 19 0 1 99 Let Smithie handle the firepit.
24 9 0 1 99 Hang onto that, it'll prove valuable.
24 17 0 1 99 Keep this prescription for your records. You may throw away any duplicates.
24 20 0 1 99 That jar will come in handy later.
24 24 0 1 99 You decide not to try to melt the tin can.
24 24 0 2 99 (That idea really smelt!)
24 23 0 1 99 There's no reason to use the unlit bomb on the firepit.
24 13 0 1 99 That's a vial idea!
2 11 0 1 99 He's got to drive later.
2 15 0 1 99 What were you going to try to do, siphon something??
2 16 0 1 99 The horse is too busy to fill your cup.
2 4 0 1 59 Hey! Can't let you do that, Pharkas. You're not a member of the Smithy's Union.
2 10 0 1 99 Sorry, the horse only takes Hi-Test.
2 12 0 1 59 None of that sissy brew for Ol' Paint!
2 14 0 1 99 Quit horsing around with the sulfur.
2 18 0 1 99 You can't find any convenient place to ... um ... attach the fuse.
2 1 0 1 99 Smithie's got one of the local horses up on blocks.
2 1 0 2 99 (Hope it's not another one of those lube jobs...yecccch!)
2 19 0 1 99 The horse used to engage in such horseplay when it was in college, but it doesn't light those things anymore.
2 9 0 1 99 Yes, it would look prettier that way, wouldn't it? But the mole belongs elsewhere.
2 17 0 1 99 Silly! Horses can't read.
2 2 0 1 49 Hiya, Ol' Paint! How are ya?
2 2 0 2 99 The horse only replies with a neigh.
2 2 0 3 99 Must be one of those neigh-sayers.
2 24 0 1 99 I shudder to think of what you were thinking the horse would do with the tin can.
2 13 0 1 99 What's the horse going to do with that vial?
20 4 0 1 99 Where was you thinking of takin' it?
20 1 0 1 99 It's a hitching post, for posting your hitches.
18 4 0 1 99 Uh-oh. Smithie's gonna be mighty sore if you take his saddle!
18 1 0 1 99 It's Smithie's old, worn-out saddle. Smithie's been spending time in the saddle, but not this one -- he's been ridin' bareback down at Madame's.
27 4 0 1 99 There's nothin' under that sidewalk except mud, snakes and scorpions. None of which you feel like handling right at this moment.
27 1 0 1 99 It may not be as fancy as one of them newfangled cee-ment sidewalks, but it keeps your feet outta the mud and horse leavings.
14 11 0 1 59 Thanks much, Pharkas, but I make it a point never to drink and drive steel.
14 15 0 1 59 Did you drink that, Pharkas? Good fer you, mebbe it'll put a li'l hair on that scrawny chest of yours. HAR!
14 16 0 1 59 Well, you got just about the ugliest mug I EVER seen! HAR!
14 4 1 1 59 Quit touchin' me, Pharkas. We're manly men around here.
14 4 2 1 99 You deftly pluck Madame's fancy-shmancy imported mole offa Smithie's puss.
14 4 2 2 59 Hey, how'd that git there? Thanks, Pharkas, I didn't want no sissified mole clutterin' up my rugged frontier features.
14 10 0 1 59 Funny, that don't SMELL like Ol' Fresno Extra-Syrupy Bock Root Beer!
14 12 0 1 59 Yup, smells like that prissy hazelnut coffee crap they give away down at the Golden Balls.
14 22 0 1 59 Hey, Madame Ovaree has some of thet stuff, too! Flavor crystals, she calls 'em, she puts 'em in my tea before we do nature's mystery dance.
14 14 0 1 59 Smells like rotten eggs! Too bad I ain't got m' old spellbook from King's Quest Six.
14 18 0 1 59 Looks like ya gotcherself a short fuse there, Pharkas! HAR!
14 1 0 1 99 That's Smithie, the Blacksmith, owner of Smithie's Blacksmith Shop.
14 1 0 2 99 How do you suppose he got THAT name?
14 19 0 1 59 Them's the matches they give away down to the Golden Balls.
14 17 0 1 59 I cain't read a word of this, Pharkas.
14 20 0 1 59 Ooh, pretty bottle, Pharkas! Now run along and play!
14 2 6 1 49 You look quite a bit more respectable without that artificial protruberance next to your philtrum. Now, how about lending me a hand with that bank robber?
14 2 6 2 59 I'm only gonna tell you this once, Pharkas.
14 2 6 3 99 (You didn't know he could count!)
14 2 6 4 59 I'm not helpin' ya. Yer crazy to even go after that desperado in the first place. 'Sides, I got places to go. I'm a very busy man. Now, SCRAM!
14 2 5 1 49 Hey, Smithie!
14 2 5 2 59 Pharkas! Ain't seen your scrawny hide lately.
14 2 5 3 49 Yep, well, I'm just a mite concerned about that bank robber holed up at the Ol' Abandoned Gold Mine. Would you be amenable to helping me bring that thieving rapscallion to justice?
14 2 5 4 59 Sorry, Pharkas, but I'm a steel-drivin' man, not a crook-catchin' man. Then I'm a-gonna pay me a visit to Madame...fifth time this week, too!
14 2 5 5 49 Welp, thanks anyway, Smithie. Big help you are.
14 2 5 6 59 Hey, we all got our jobs to do, Pharkas. Don't you pull none of your fancy East coast guilt trips on me, I ain't fallin' for it.
14 24 0 1 59 Fine tin can you got yerself, Pharkas. Ain't you clever? Now scram!
14 13 0 1 59 Yer just like ol' Doc Gillespie, aintcha? Comin' up to me with that thang, expectin' me to fill it fer ya. Well, I'm feelin' just fine now, thank you very much, and I don't need no more tests! So GIT!
15 11 0 1 99 It's a nice thought, leaving the root beer for Smithie.
15 11 0 2 99 You're such a nice guy, Freddy. Is it any wonder that everyone in town loves you?
15 21 0 1 99 But the Smithie is your friend! Why blow up his livelihood?
15 15 0 1 99 Sorry, Smithie had to shut down his recycling center. Nobody was bringing in any aluminum.
15 26 0 1 99 If you tried to deface Smithie's shop, Smithie would try to deface you.
15 26 0 2 99 And you'd look pretty sorry without deface.
15 16 0 1 49 Maybe I should be a heckuva nice guy and leave this complimentary coffee mug for Smithie.
15 16 0 2 49 Of course, he DOES call me "Pharkas" and make comments about my slight build and slender stature.
15 16 0 3 49 And he does tend to boss me around.
15 16 0 4 49 So the heck with him! Let him get his OWN damn complimentary coffee mug!
15 4 0 1 99 You get yourself a handful of splinters fer your troubles.
15 10 0 1 99 Ah yes, the old pour-the-bottle-of-coffee all-over-the-Smithy trick!
15 10 0 2 99 He'd see through THAT one in a minute. Better try something else.
15 12 0 1 99 The Smithy shop prefers tea, thank you very much.
15 22 0 1 99 There's nobody here to give the saltpeter to.
15 14 0 1 99 Perfect! Sprinkle a little sulfur around the store and...
15 14 0 2 99 and...uh...
15 14 0 3 99 And what? And nothing. Forget about it.
15 18 0 1 99 Considering how long it's been since Smithie took a bath, there are already enough "phews" around here.
15 18 0 2 99 Alright, fine, it was really bad. But really, what did you EXPECT to see?
15 1 7 1 99 Looks like Smithie closed up shop for the day.
15 1 0 1 99 It's Smithie's blacksmith shop.
15 1 0 2 99 You recall asking Smithie if he was gonna think up something more original to call hisself than "Smithie."
15 1 0 3 99 What happened directly afterwards is kind of a blur, but you recall it took ol' Doc Gillespie three hours to remove the horseshoe.
15 19 0 1 49 Maybe I'll be a swell guy and leave these matches lying here for Smithie's convenience.
15 19 0 2 49 Then again, Smithie does take me for some kinda sap.
15 19 0 3 49 Just because he's the strongest man in town, he thinks he can push me around.
15 19 0 4 49 Let him find his own damned matches! I'm not doing HIM any favors.
15 19 0 5 49 Harrumph!
15 9 0 1 99 The front of Smithie's won't be much improved by the addition of the mole.
15 17 0 1 99 Don't bother. Smithie's torn down the last fifteen prescriptions you posted on his building anyway.
15 20 0 1 99 You rap the jar against the building a few times, but nobody answers.
15 24 0 1 99 Just for the heck of it, you rap the tin can on the building a few times.
15 24 0 2 99 Much to your surprise, nothing happens.
15 23 0 1 99 Now there's a daring fellow! Leaving an unlit bomb outside the Smithy. What a feat of derring-do! 
15 23 0 2 99 (What a waste of time!)
15 13 0 1 99 The building seems utterly uninterested in the vial.
23 21 0 1 99 Sorry, Freddy, you'll have to find a better use for that bomb.
23 4 0 1 99 It's good, solid, hard-packed old Western dirt from an authentic old Western town.
23 1 0 1 99 This here's the western leg of Main Street. Off to the left, you can see what's left of the bridge over Blackwater Creek; yonder south lies Ye Olde 'Orehouse, and Balance Street leads north to the Bluff.
19 4 0 1 99 You swish your hand around in the filthy water, but there's nothing except the 10 percent of horse spit at the bottom.
19 1 0 1 99 The horses get led to this. Making them drink it is a whole 'nuther problem. Mostly 'cuz Smithie don't have an outhouse nearby.
25 4 0 1 99 It's long been stripped down. There ain't nothin' on it worth taking.
25 1 0 1 99 That there wagon was left by this guy from Serenia who could never get the dang thing repaired.
===230.msg===
4 4 0 1 99 No no no.
4 4 0 2 99 NEXT TUESDAY is your turn in the barrel!
4 1 0 1 99 There's an old used applejack barrel.
4 1 0 2 99 Smells like somebody's been keepin' dead fish in it.
21 4 0 1 99 You leave that bunting right there; Mom paid good money to one of the local seamstresses (who's also a part-time actress and model) for that!
21 1 0 1 99 Mom's been using the balcony of the hotel for advertising space. Thing is, we took out the advertising, as it was distracting from the basic sales message of this demo.
17 4 0 1 99 Careful, you could end up with a really big pr...
17 4 0 2 99 (I can't say it. Too easy.)
17 1 0 1 99 It's a prickly pear cactus.
2 11 0 1 99 Mom's gets no kick from root beer!
2 21 0 1 99 You could try it, but Mom would just rebuild. It'd probably be more effective and permanent to simply call the Health Department.
2 15 0 1 99 You briefly consider christening Mom's with a deft blow of the empty beer bottle, but considering the cafe's been open for years, you decide you're a little too late.
2 26 0 1 99 Mom's doesn't need your charcoal. (But she sure could use a decent chef, if you find one of those.)
2 16 0 1 99 If Mom's were open today, you could go in for some coffee and fill up that mug, but she isn't, so you can't.
2 4 0 1 99 There's a thin layer of cooking grease all over the outside of Mom's Cafe.
2 10 0 1 99 The cafe's closed; keep your damn coffee-filled root beer bottle for another purpose!
2 12 0 1 99 You hold up the full up to the cafe. Cafe ... coffee ... cafe ... coffee ... what a coincidence!
2 22 0 1 99 Mom's got enough saltpeter, since she has it delivered every Thursday and Monday.
2 14 0 1 99 Though Mom's could use a good antifungicide, you'll have to wait 'till the cafe is open, then go on in and sprinkle it on the food.
2 18 0 1 99 If you've ever smelled Mom's cooking, you know there are enough "phews" in there already!
2 1 0 1 99 Mom's Cafe, the only open restaurant in Coarsegold.
2 1 0 2 99 Their slogan is, "Mom's Cafe...last gas for 38 miles."
2 19 0 1 99 Careful! Given what happens to the customers after eating Mom's food, lighting a match around her place could be dangerous.
2 9 0 1 99 Good thinking! You assume that the mole belongs in Mom's Cafe, where one of the specialties is Chicken Mole. But since Mom's is closed, there must be some other use for this item.
2 17 0 1 99 If Mom's were open, it would make perfect sense to stand outside and hand out prescriptions. But it's not, so it doesn't.
2 20 0 1 99 You test the integrity of the building by rapping it with the heavy jar.
2 20 0 2 99 Yep! Solid jar!
2 24 0 1 99 The tin can won't stick to the building. Too much grease.
2 23 0 1 99 The cafe has no use for the unlit bomb. (But maybe if you lit the bomb, you'd be doing everyone in town a huge favor!)
2 13 0 1 99 Yes, Mom's cooking is definitely vial.
8 4 0 1 99 Feels like a silhouette of the old condemned train station.
8 1 0 1 99 Part of the old railroad station...an eyesore and a hazard, just like some of the ladies down at the Brothel.
11 11 0 1 99 Think you can hit it from here?
11 11 0 2 99 Naaaah.
11 21 0 1 99 Don't waste the bomb blowing up an abandoned building!
11 15 0 1 99 You think about it, but you just don't have the soul of a vandal.
11 15 0 2 99 A Vandella, maybe, but not a vandal.
11 26 0 1 99 You think to yourself...
11 26 0 2 49 What harm would it do? I could just write something across the hotel with this piece of charcoal!
11 26 0 3 49 After all, the hotel is closed. It wouldn't be hurting anyone.
11 26 0 4 99 But even as you stand there and consider it, you realize that the bandit is still in the mine.
11 26 0 5 49 Dang it! I have GOT to keep my mind on my mission!
11 16 0 1 99 You've got no reason to put the cup up there.
11 4 0 1 99 You can't get there from here...
11 4 0 2 99 ...unless you own the full feature-length game!
11 10 0 1 99 Nope, there's a tricker use for that bottle of coffee.
11 12 0 1 99 Don't waste that fine Viennese-flavored coffee! What if friends arrived from Europe?
11 22 0 1 99 That would be a waste of perfectly good saltpeter.
11 14 0 1 99 The hotel's closed, don't bother offering it your sulfur.
11 18 0 1 99 What were you going to try to do, ignite the old hotel?
11 18 0 2 99 Like THAT will do any good!
11 1 0 1 99 Many's the young fella who had to make a quick exit via this balcony.
11 19 0 1 99 Let's see if we can guess what you were going to do.
11 19 0 2 99 You were going to burn down Coarsegold, one building at a time, 'till you found the bandit.
11 19 0 3 99 Well, he's in the mine, so leave the poor buildings alone.
11 9 0 1 99 What a waste of a perfectly beautiful li'l mole!
11 17 0 1 99 That's it, Freddy, put that prescription where NOBODY will ever find it.
11 20 0 1 99 There's no reason to put the jar on the hotel balcony (but hey, it was worth a try, right?).
11 24 0 1 99 You were preparing for some target practice, perhaps?
11 24 0 2 99 (FORESHADOWING ALERT! FORESHADOWING ALERT!)
11 23 0 1 99 Now there's a smart move, trying to bomb a vacant building with an unlit bomb.
11 23 0 2 99 Let's think this through more carefully, shall we?
11 23 0 3 99 Yes, let's do!
11 13 0 1 99 The vial is useful, but you'll never fit the hotel in it.
14 21 0 1 99 Don't waste the bomb blowing up an abandoned building!
14 4 0 1 99 You yank the knob a few times. No luck.
14 4 0 2 99 Then you try to open the hotel door. No luck there, either.
14 1 0 1 99 The door to the Hotel. Now that the Sheriff done board the place up, you cain't get this door open nohow.
10 21 0 1 99 Leave the hotel alone and it'll eventually collapse of its own accord.
10 4 0 1 99 You rip off the hotel porch and put it in your pocket, just in case you need a porch later in the game.
10 4 0 2 99 Jes' kiddin'.
10 1 0 1 99 The once-grandiose Dirty Sheet Hotel, now just another vacant Coarsegold business. 
5 4 0 1 99 The window's been nailed shut by the Sheriff. This, more than anything else, is what killed tourism in Coarsegold.
5 1 0 1 99 Even though the window's dusty inside and out, you can still make out the chintzy red velvet flocked wallpaper, the faux marble staircase, the chandelier, and the trademark pile of dirty sheets waitin' for that laundry truck that never came.
6 21 0 1 99 No need to toss a bomb into Mom's. She's serving chili with beans today.
6 4 0 1 99 That's odd, Mom's door is locked.
6 4 0 2 99 Something's terribly wrong.
6 4 0 3 99 Trouble is, they don't let you into these places until you buy the whole game.
6 4 0 4 99 (In other words, buy this game or Mom gets hers!)
6 1 0 1 99 The door to Mom's Cafe. "Through this door walk the most smelly, unshaven people in the world...our customers!"
12 21 0 1 99 Mom's porch needs a facelift, but not such a drastic one!
12 4 0 1 99 You try taking the porch, but a couple hundred Black Widow spiderwebs anchor it firmly in place.
12 1 0 1 99 The porch of Mom's Cafe. Many's the evening you spent rocking on this old porch, trying your dangdest to digest one of Mom's famous Road Apple Pies.
3 21 0 1 99 No need to toss a bomb in Mom's window. She's serving chili with beans today.
3 4 0 1 99 The kitchen grease has hermetically sealed the window shut.
3 1 0 1 99 The window to Mom's Cafe, caked to opacity with layers of grease from deep-fried chicken, deep-fried doughnuts, chicken-fried steak, steak-fried chicken, deep-fried arugala, pork-fried rice, and other "Nouvelle Fried" cuisine.
3 1 0 2 99 (Makes your arteries seize up just reading about it, doesn't it?)
9 4 0 1 99 Well now, a portable hitching post wouldn't be very effective at keeping the horses from straying, would it?
9 1 0 1 99 That's a hitching post for horses, since all the stagecoach drivers eat at Mom's.
9 1 0 2 99 For a while there, Mom's used to have valet parking. But he dinged one of the stagecoaches, so they lynched him.
16 4 0 1 99 You feel a little cross.
16 1 0 1 99 Used to be a railroad crossing sign. Now it's garbage.
15 21 0 1 99 Blowing up Main Street is not going to help the problem at hand.
15 21 0 2 99 It'll put a lot of losers out of their misery, but it won't help the problem at hand.
15 4 0 1 99 Now, if you took the room, where would you stand?
15 1 0 1 99 This is part of the western end of Main Street. To the north, there's Mom's Cafe, the hotel (which been vacant for awhile now), and the Golden Balls Saloon.
15 1 0 2 99 In the real version of this game, there'd be horses, sagebrush, passers-by and all sortsa real atmospheric stuff. But we didn't want to blow our whole wad on the demo version, now, did we?
1 11 0 1 99 Sam's no Indian-giver! Y'all just keep that beer fer yerself.
1 21 0 1 99 Do that and you'll be killing innocent civilians who are simply minding their own business.
1 21 0 2 99 (If you want to do that, you'll have to play FREDDY PHARKAS 2: FREDDY JOINS THE IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY.)
1 15 0 1 99 The saloon's already got enough empties.
1 26 0 1 99 Sam's a friend of yours. Why deface his saloon with charcoal? Why indeed!
1 16 0 1 99 The saloon's already got enough people "in their cups."
1 4 0 1 99 Leave that Saloon right where it is, buckaroo.
1 10 0 1 99 No need to pour the coffee on the saloon.
1 12 0 1 99 No need to pour the coffee on the saloon. The saloon itself is perfectly sober...
1 12 0 2 99 ...even if none of the inhabitants are!
1 22 0 1 99 Maybe if the sidewalk were icy, you could accomplish something by sprinkling saltpeter outside the saloon. But it's not, so you can't.
1 14 0 1 99 Don't waste your sulfur, it's semi-precious.
1 18 0 1 99 Yes, you could conceivably stick the fuse in the saloon and blow it up from all the alcohol fumes.
1 18 0 2 99 But you've got bigger plans for that fuse!
1 1 0 1 99 The Golden Balls Saloon..."Where Coarsegoldians Go To Socialize When There Ain't Nowhere Else to Go."
1 19 0 1 99 Arson isn't your specialty. Maybe in the sequel.
1 9 0 1 99 Sam specifically forbids the application of moles or tattoos to the exterior of his Golden Balls.
1 17 0 1 99 The saloon can't read the prescription!
1 20 0 1 99 Did you expect the saloon to fill that bottle for you?
1 24 0 1 99 You rap on the saloon with the tin can, but nothing happens.
1 23 0 1 99 Sam's a good friend of yours. It would be nasty, not to mention pointlessly stupid, to attempt to blow up his Golden Balls with an unlit bomb.
1 13 0 1 99 You attempt to plug a knothole with the vial.
1 13 0 2 99 Freud would have a heyday with THAT one.
7 21 0 1 99 Do that and you'll be killing innocent civilians who are simply minding their own business.
7 21 0 2 99 (If you want to do that, you'll have to play FREDDY PHARKAS 2: FREDDY JOINS THE IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY.)
7 1 0 1 99 Swinging saloon doors, just like in the moving pictures.
13 21 0 1 99 Do that and you'll be killing innocent civilians who are simply minding their own business.
13 21 0 2 99 (If you want to do that, you'll have to play FREDDY PHARKAS 2: FREDDY JOINS THE IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY.)
13 4 0 1 99 They don't take kindly to porch-rustling in these parts.
13 1 0 1 99 This isn't an ordinary veranda, this is an imported Eye-talian Porche!
19 21 0 1 99 Do that and you'll be killing innocent civilians who are simply minding their own business.
19 21 0 2 99 (If you want to do that, you'll have to play FREDDY PHARKAS 2: FREDDY JOINS THE IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY.)
19 4 0 1 99 This one just got caulked in last week. Don't mess with it.
19 1 0 1 99 Seems like this window's got to be replaced every couple of days. Those stuntmen from southern California keep coming up here and throwing each other through it.
18 4 0 1 99 There's nothing under those boards but critters that would like nothing better than for you to stick your hand under there!
18 1 0 1 99 Gazing at the ratty sidewalks of Coarsegold really makes you pine for the ratty sidewalks of just about anywhere else.
===250.msg===
12 4 0 1 99 Now, you wouldn't take a chance on disturbin' one of the town's landmark heaps o' clutter, wouldya?
12 1 0 1 99 The broken-down remains of the old Coarsegold Depot litter the south side of the street.
20 4 0 1 99 You cruelly snatch the tin can from the Sheriff's prisoner. Maybe now he'll cut out that racket!
20 4 3 1 99 You'll have to get way up close to grab that.
20 1 0 1 99 Looks like Sheriff Checkum P. Shift's got another low-down varmint in the cell again. (Actually, knowing Sheriff Shift, that prisoner probably didn't do nuthin' at all 'cept look cross-eyed at the Sheriff's wife!)
20 1 0 2 99 Every once in awhile, the Sheriff's visitor rattles his tin can against the window, signaling thirst, hunger, or (most likely) jes' plain boredom.
20 2 0 1 49 Hello in there! Anybody home?
20 2 0 2 99 There is no response. Apparently, Sheriff Shift's guest doesn't feel like jawin'.
9 11 0 1 99 Throw a beer bottle through your own business establishment?
9 11 0 2 99 What a twisted individual!
9 21 0 1 99 If you really want to get bombed, go to the saloon!
9 15 0 1 99 Don't clutter up the front of your business with empty bottles. You're trying to establish a better class of clientele.
9 26 0 1 99 You consider scrawling a message on your pharmacy (like "Just Say No to Ether!"), but you decide the facade is attractive and uncluttered just the way it is.
9 16 0 1 99 You knock a few nails back into place with the cup.
9 4 0 1 99 You don't have room in your pockets for an entire pharmacy.
9 4 0 2 99 "But," you cry, "in the real game, I kin carry all kindsa stuff, like ladders and huge sacks and lots of bottles, and a lot of other things I could NEVER carry in real life!"
9 4 0 3 99 "So why cain't I carry a Pharmacy, if I want to?"
9 4 0 4 99 "Cuz it's only a demo," we reply. "In the real game, you'll be able to pick up the Pharmacy and take it anywhere you want."
9 4 0 5 99 "Oh, okay," you say, satisfied with our answer.
9 4 0 6 99 We point at you behind your back and snicker at your city slicker naivete.
9 10 0 1 99 Hmmm. Would the pharmacy look a little nicer if it had some coffee splashed randomly over it?
9 10 0 2 49 Yes!
9 10 0 3 49 Er, NO!
9 10 0 4 99 A decorater, you're not.
9 12 0 1 99 Hmmm. Would the pharmacy look a little nicer if it had some coffee splashed randomly over it?
9 12 0 2 49 Yes!
9 12 0 3 49 Er, NO!
9 12 0 4 99 A decorater, you're not.
9 22 0 1 99 You decide that a pinch of saltpeter will not improve the looks nor the functioning of your pharmacy.
9 14 0 1 99 Sulfur has never been known for its decorative properties.
9 18 0 1 99 Trying to diguise your pharmacy as a gigantic bomb?
9 18 0 2 99 That's either very clever or astoundingly stupid.
9 18 0 3 99 The votes are in; it's astoundingly stupid.
9 1 0 1 99 This is your pharmacy, your home, the center of your universe. The Pharkas Pharmacy.
9 1 0 2 99 You envision a day when there'll be a string of Pharkas Pharmacy phranchises, stretching phrom coast to coast.
9 19 0 1 99 Yes, let's set fire to our place of business, shall we?
9 19 0 2 99 NOT!!
9 9 0 1 99 Don't do it. Business is bad enough without a black mark on your pharmacy.
9 17 0 1 99 You try to avoid posting things on the outside of your pharmacy.
9 20 0 1 99 Keep the jar with you, you'll never know when you might need it.
9 24 0 1 99 Yes, an empty tin can here or there will certainly improve the look of the building.
9 24 0 2 99 AS IF!!
9 23 0 1 99 Ah-ha, very clever! You've obviously decided you can collect some insurance money by blowing up your pharmacy.
9 23 0 2 99 Unfortunately, the bomb's not lit and you have no insurance.
9 23 0 3 99 Other than that...you're a genius!
9 13 0 1 99 The pharmacy won't fit inside the vial. Brilliant thinking, though!
1 1 0 1 99 The door to your Pharmacy.
16 4 0 1 99 What, and get handprints all over your nicely-polished windows?
16 1 0 1 99 This is the left window of the facade of your Pharmacy, and, if truth be told, probably your favorite of the two windows (but don't tell the other window).
11 4 0 1 99 Sure, I can see it now...you push on the columns long and hard enough, and the whole thing comes tumblin' down like that Samson and Delilah bit. Well, no siree Bob, we'll have none of that shenanigans here.
11 1 0 1 99 You opted for one of those popular Colonial-style Pharmacies.
17 4 0 1 99 C'mon, now, you don't wanna smear your own window, do ya?
17 1 0 1 99 The sparkling, well-maintained rightmost window of your Pharmacy. It happens to be your favorite window, too (but shh...don't tell the other one).
13 4 0 1 99 You're not thinking of pullin' up stakes and movin' just yet. Play the demo or the game before you do anything that drastic.
13 1 0 1 99 The sign says "Pharkas Pharmacy." This must be the place.
5 11 0 1 99 You've got better things to do with the beer than pelt P.P.'s Playhouse.
5 21 0 1 99 But that's why the Playhouse closed in the first place...it was just one bomb after another.
5 15 0 1 99 You give the Playhouse a few good smacks with the bottle, just for good measure.
5 26 0 1 99 Grafitti isn't your thing. Prescriptions are.
5 16 0 1 99 You try to fill the cup up at the Playhouse, but there's no spigots anywhere to be found!
5 4 0 1 99 Leave it there for the wreckin' crew to take care of.
5 10 0 1 49 I christen thee...P.P.'s Playhouse, now closed!
5 10 0 2 99 And with that, you whack the building soundly with the bottle.
5 10 0 3 99 The bottle doesn't break. Good thing, too!
5 12 0 1 99 That would be a waste of instant coffee-flavored beverage!
5 22 0 1 99 Not a bad idea, sprinkling saltpeter around the Playhouse, but where were you a few months ago when the Playhouse was still in business?
5 14 0 1 99 The Playhouse has absolutely no use for sulfur.
5 18 0 1 99 Sorry, there are no more bombs at the Playhouse. Those days have ended.
5 1 0 1 99 Coarsegold's movie theater, P.P.'s Playhouse. It was shut down by unpopular demand several months ago, after the owner was found necking with a lamb during a showing of "Ba-aa-aa-bette's Feast."
5 19 0 1 99 Arson, like grafitti, is not your "thing."
5 9 0 1 99 Don't waste your mole.
5 17 0 1 99 Post the prescription here and people will think it's another movie coming to town!
5 20 0 1 99 You can't fit the Playhouse in the jar!
5 24 0 1 99 You bang the tin can on the Playhouse, but nothing happens.
5 23 0 1 99 The Playhouse doesn't need any more bombs. That's why it closed in the first place!
5 13 0 1 99 You'd be wasting your vial.
15 21 0 1 99 Won't work. Nope. Not at this juncture.
15 4 0 1 99 You rattle the doors a bit, but they seem locked for good. Maybe you can sneak in during the real game.
15 1 0 1 99 Can't you read? The sign on the door says 'CLOSED.'
8 4 0 1 99 You can only reach that first letter, but even so, you don't really feel like taking a big "P" right now.
8 1 0 1 99 The sign says "PP's Playhouse." Well, it USED to say that, anyways.
2 4 0 1 99 Those rails are buried two feet deep. They're not goin' anywhere.
2 1 0 1 99 You've installed a hitchin' post out in front of yer Pharmacy, for the convenience of your customers.
19 21 0 1 99 Using the bomb here would be a waste of a perfectly good bomb.
19 4 0 1 99 You leave East Main Street be. It hain't hurtin' nobody.
19 1 0 1 99 This is one of the eastern legs of Main Street. Ain't she a beaut? In the real game, this street would go on and on for eight screens, smoothly scrolling from one block to the 'nuther. You'll have to take our word for that, though.
3 21 0 1 99 It's locked. Darn! You'll have to find somewhere else to toss that thing.
3 4 0 1 99 If you'd sprung for the whole shebang instead of just this here li'l demo, you'd be able to enter through this very door and interact with Sheriff Checkum P. Shift. For now, tough beans.
3 1 0 1 99 The door to Sheriff Checkum P. Shift's office. The office also contains a small jail cell, just big enough to hold one or two wayward citizens.
10 11 0 1 99 The Sheriff's Office never drinks while it's on duty!
10 21 0 1 99 The bomb-tossing arcade sequence isn't in the demo version.
10 21 0 2 99 (Actually, it's not in the full game, either.)
10 15 0 1 99 Taking your frustrations out on the Sheriff's Office by whacking it with the bottle will only break your bottle and frustrate you further.
10 26 0 1 99 You think about writing, "Yankee Go Home," but then you remember that you're a Yank, too!
10 16 0 1 99 You'll break the cup.
10 16 0 2 99 And possibly even wake up the Sheriff!
10 10 0 1 99 Don't waste your coffee!
10 12 0 1 99 What a waste of good coffee-flavored instant European-style beverage!
10 22 0 1 99 The Sheriff could probably use some saltpeter, but there's not much point in applying it to the building.
10 14 0 1 99 Applying sulfur to the Sheriff's Office is a colossal waste of sulfur.
10 18 0 1 99 Attaching the fuse to the Sheriff's Office is useless. The Office, like the Sheriff himself, is completely inert.
10 1 0 1 99 Sheriff Checkum P. Shift's jail and armory. 'Round here, though, the law is every bit as corrupt, sneaky and conniving as the outlaws, banditos, and other politicians.
10 19 0 1 99 The Sheriff's Office, being made of stone, isn't likely to ignite.
10 9 0 1 99 There's already a mole in the Sheriff's Office, but we're not telling you who or why.
10 17 0 1 99 The prescription does add a touch of Western authenticity to the Sheriff's Office, but the Sheriff wouldn't appreciate your decorative touch.
10 20 0 1 99 The Sheriff's Office hasn't been left ajar in ages!
10 24 0 1 99 Sorry, no can do!
10 23 0 1 99 Such an act of terrorism is completely out-of-character for a straight shooter like you!
10 13 0 1 99 You'll just end up with a handful of broken glass, which isn't exactly in short supply around here.
14 4 0 1 99 Ooh, stealing the Sheriff's sign right out from under -- or over, in this case -- the Sheriff's nose. That'd be a good trick, but you've got more important stuff ta do.
14 1 0 1 99 Someone with a higher IQ than most of the townsfolk has painted "Sheriff" on this building, a happy coincidence since this happens to be the outside of the Sheriff's office.
4 21 0 1 99 Blowing up the prisoner is a poor way of helping you work out your repressed aggression, aggression which should be directed at your parents and loved ones. Don't take it out on innocent computer game characters.
4 21 0 2 99 Thank you.
4 4 0 1 99 There's nothing there right now 'cept big ol' iron bars, which ain't comin' loose no matter how hard ya tugs.
4 6 0 1 99 The prisoner is already well provided-for by his landlord, the Sheriff.
4 1 0 1 99 The bars allow the Sheriff's current "guest" to glare and spit at passersby.
7 11 0 1 99 Wow! Looking at the Tall & Thin Shop through the tall & thin root beer bottle makes the shop look even Taller & Thinner!
7 11 0 2 99 (You DO know how to have a good time, don't you?)
7 15 0 1 99 Wow! Looking at the Tall & Thin Shop through the tall & thin root beer bottle makes the shop look even Taller & Thinner!
7 15 0 2 99 (You DO know how to have a good time, don't you?)
7 26 0 1 99 Grafitti's not your bag.
7 16 0 1 99 Don't leave your cup outside the Tall & Thin Shop. Some tall and thin customer, previously unaware that the Shop is closed, might wander by, be really angry that the Shop isn't open, pick up your cup, and hurl it full-force against the Shop facade.
7 16 0 2 99 If it damaged the Shop, they might find YOUR fingerprints on the cup, trace it back to you, and then you'd really be in hot water.
7 16 0 3 99 It's not worth it. It's just not worth it.
7 4 0 1 99 This place is boarded up tighter 'en a sheep's heinie on the Ponderosa.
7 10 0 1 99 Coffee will not resurrect the Tall & Thin Shop. But nice thought.
7 12 0 1 99 Coffee will not resurrect the Tall & Thin Shop. But nice thought.
7 22 0 1 99 Don't waste your saltpeter salting old buildings.
7 14 0 1 99 Not even sulfa drugs will help the Tall & Thin Shop now.
7 18 0 1 99 You've got more exciting things to do than stick your fuse in this old building.
7 1 0 1 99 The Tall and Thin Shop. The owner narrowly escaped town with his life when it was found he was shortchanging customers.
7 19 0 1 99 Can't you just see this old wreck of a building going up in flames?
7 19 0 2 99 Can't you just see the flames spreading to the buildings around it?
7 19 0 3 99 Can't you just see your own pharmacy burning to cinders, with everything you own in it?
7 19 0 4 99 Let's just forget you even tried this.
7 9 0 1 99 It would add a certain savoir faire to the Tall & Thin Shop, but it's a bit too late now.
7 17 0 1 99 Let's not post your prescriptions around town. It could embarrass people.
7 20 0 1 99 You thump the building with the empty jar. The echo resounds inside the empty building, but nothing else happens.
7 24 0 1 99 You hold the tin can up to the building to try and hear anything going on inside. Other than the scrabbling of rat's feet, you don't hear anything.
7 23 0 1 99 How ironic...trying to blow up an unused building with an unlit bomb!
7 13 0 1 99 You clumsily attempt to knock on the building with the empty glass vial. Nobody answers.
6 4 0 1 99 Leave the sign alone. Let it serve as a reminder to other shopkeepers who would incur the wrath of the good citizens of Coarsegold.
6 1 0 1 99 The sign says "Tall & Thin Shop." And hey, it's right! That shop IS tall and thin!
18 4 0 1 99 You stick your hand into the stagnant water, and all you get is a damp, muddy forearm with a lotta dead flies stuck to it. 
18 1 0 1 99 It's your ordinary water trough, favorite hangout of Coarsegold horses and town drunks.
18 1 0 2 99 In the full version of FREDDY PHARKAS, FRONTIER PHARMACIST, this trough is filled with sparkling clear, pure mountain spring water. But for this demo, all you get in the trough is muddy, dirty ol' stagnant water with a bunch of dead flies floating on top.
===270.msg===
9 6 0 1 99 That'd just be a drop in the bucket.
9 1 0 1 99 It's a large bucket, big enough for one scrawny pharmacist.
7 4 0 1 99 You pick up the length of unburnt fuse.
7 4 1 1 99 You're on the wrong side of the swamp!
7 1 0 1 99 Looks like a length of unburnt fuse.
6 21 0 1 1 Yip. That's how Freddy saved the day. He dropped that home-built bomb right down into the shaft, sealin' up the entrance to that mine fer good. The bandito, along with his untold tens of dollars in loot, wuz doomed to rot forever in the dank recesses and endless tunnels of the ol' mine.
6 21 0 2 1 Until he found the exit.
6 21 0 3 1 Oh, did I forget to tell you about the exit? Yeah, Freddy done sealed up the entrance reallll good, but he forgot t' seal up the exit. Had to make sure there's adequate airflow, y'know, to keep the miners comfy in the summer.
6 21 0 4 1 Oh, well. You still won the demo. With...um...let's say 49 out of 50 points.
6 21 0 5 1 <snicker>
6 21 0 6 1 Anyway, thanks fer livin' out the demonstration version of the legend of m' ol' pal, Freddy Pharkas! Be sure to watch the ballad, now, if y'haven't already.
6 21 0 7 1 And keep the sores off'n your saddle and never counts yer money at the table.
6 21 0 8 1 An' stuff like that there.
6 21 1 1 99 Yeah, you and Greg Maddox! You'll have to get much, much closer than that.
6 4 0 1 99 Try as you might, you can't cause a cave-in just by rattling the old timbers.
6 6 0 1 99 What, you're hoping it'll fall and hit the bandit on the head?
6 6 0 2 99 Get with the programmers!
6 1 0 1 99 That's the Old Abandoned Gold Mine, where the desperado's hiding out!
6 1 0 2 99 It's a dangerous place, what with the rotting timbers, cracked rock, and haphazard tunneling.
6 1 0 3 99 You'd better find some way to seal it up for good! A bit of homemade black powder would probably do the trick.
6 23 0 1 99 Unfortunately, impact alone will not be enough to set off the bomb. You must find some way to ignite it.
5 21 0 1 99 Sure, just toss it in the air and hope it hits the right place. NOT!
5 6 0 1 99 Don't just leave it lying around where any ol' varmint can find it!
5 1 0 1 99 The famous Coarsegold Oily Swamp. Such dirty, oily water. You'd think this were a toxic waste dump, only the term hasn't been invented yet.
8 4 0 1 99 Don't worry, we'll give you enough rope to hang yourself in the full-length version of the game.
8 1 0 1 99 The old rope is the only means of transportation over to the mine, now that this end of Main Street has sunk into the swamp.
2 21 0 1 99 Oh, that's very good. Work like a dog to put this homemade bomb together, then toss it into the bushes. You think these inventory items grow on trees? AIM, why don't you!
2 4 0 1 99 You take the shrub.
2 4 0 2 99 Suddenly, a large hawk, furious at seeing its favorite shrubbery disturbed swoops down and picks you up, then it drops you down a strange hole in the ground in a mysterious land to the west.
2 4 0 3 99 There you meet a strange ogre who demands your allegiance. You eventually escape this land by disguising yourself as one of his minions and running off during a hunting trip.
2 4 0 4 99 You make your way back to Coarsegold. Having learned your lesson, you replant the shrubbery, never to disturb it again.
2 4 0 5 99 Whew!
2 4 0 6 99 See what an exciting adventure this is???
2 6 0 1 99 You'll forget where you left it. Trust us on this one.
2 1 0 1 99 A shrubbery!
2 1 0 2 99 (Dramatic orchestra hit! Gasps from the onlookers!)
4 21 0 1 99 Yeah, that'll show that desperado. Blow up the swamp.
4 6 0 1 99 Throw it into the swamp? Nonsense, that's an authentic souvenier of the Old West.
4 1 0 1 99 This is the thick, bubbly dark water that seems to be seeping up all over town. Nobody knows what it is, but it's foul and smelly and full of dinosaur bones, which the townsfolk have been finding and whittling down into toothpicks.
11 4 0 1 99 The tracks are rusted and pitted from years of disuse.
11 1 0 1 99 Train tracks! A train must've come through this-a-way!
3 21 0 1 99 Hey, how would you like it if somebody shoved an explosive device into YOUR caboose?
3 21 0 2 99 That's what I thought.
3 4 0 1 99 You don't feel like taking the train. Besides, it ain't going anywhere.
3 1 0 1 99 It was the last train to Coarsegold, and it's sinking at the station.
10 1 0 1 99 This tree isn't doing too well, what with its roots soaking up the mucky swampwater.
1 21 0 1 99 It's serving its purpose as a nice bit of set decoration.
1 4 0 1 99 You can't reach it. It's empty. One way or another, give it up.
1 1 0 1 99 An old water tower that used to serve the railroad...when there WAS a railroad.
===600.msg===
6 1 0 1 99 It's the back counter where you, Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist, dispense your wares.
8 1 0 1 99 It's the door to your back office, laboratory and the stairs to the second floor.
9 4 0 1 99 You won't be needing any of those medications in this demo.
9 1 0 1 99 This is where you keep all the newest, most scientifically advanced medications safe from shoplifters: Dr. Winterhalter's Magnetic Effluvium Tonic, Professor Munson's Deep-Wound Iodine Salt Balm, Chas. Berksquire Ph.D.'s Effervescent Enema Granules, and the most recent discovery, Preparation G.
10 4 0 1 99 Those medications can stay right where they are for now.
10 1 0 1 99 Here's where you keep the most expensive medicines out of reach of the customers: Doc Hallifax's Platinum Tonic, Montgomery's Digestive Granulated Gold, Dentist's Choice Do-It-Yourself Silver Amalgam Fillings (hand drill bit included), and California Cowboy Aluminum Snuff.
10 1 0 2 99 (The California Cowboy Aluminum Snuff is actually made in New York City.)
10 1 0 3 49 NEW YORK CITY?!?!
11 1 0 1 99 This homey sign adds a real touch of friendly, folksy atmosphere to the pharmacy.
11 1 0 2 99 (It also spells "Pharmacy" phonetically, so that most of the townsfolk can understand where they are.)
12 4 0 1 99 There's nothing important amongst these bottles, pills and poultices.
12 1 0 1 99 Here on your "Reduced!" table: Madame Gazonga's Parfum d'Eau, Aunt Lily's Toilette Essence Champough, French Woman's Brand Breath DeToxifier, Pinkham Edible Depilatory, Hollywoodland Ruminant Suppressant ("Hollywood Stars don't chew their cuds, why should YOU?"), FPFP's Bulk Sulfur-In-A-Tube and the new EpiSheep EZ Shearer.
13 4 0 1 99 You won't need any Limproot Hail Oil Creme or Rustler's Stove Chocolates today.
13 1 0 1 99 Over here, you have a stunningly arranged display of Old Snuffy's Limproot Hair Oil Creme (in the 1 oz., 4 oz., 8 oz., 16 oz., and Giant 64 oz. "Horse Choker" jars), as well as a few boxes of Rustler's Stove Chocolates, a pharmacy standby for over half a century.
14 4 0 1 99 The Symphonium hasn't worked since 1885, when old Manny Rivberg put his fist through it.
14 4 0 2 99 (That ol' Manny Rivberg. He just keeps rollin' along.)
14 1 0 1 99 You bought this Symphonium in the hopes that it would perk up activity at the iced cream counter. Trouble is, you only bought one roll for it, then the company went out of business.
14 1 0 2 99 And how many times can you listen to a Symphonium version of "Tie a Yellow Strip of Bunting Around the New Oak Sapling"?
4 0 0 1 99 In the REAL game, you could go back there to your office. But since you haven't laid out the long green, we're not going to let you.
2 0 0 1 1 It was a fine Spring day, in 1888 as I recall. 
2 0 0 2 1 Coarsegold warn't what it used to be, what with the gold running out and the drought and the dust storms and the plagues, then that freak tsunami, then the Democrats coming into office and all, but it were still a nice place to live.
2 0 0 3 1 Up until that day, anyway.
2 0 0 4 1 Freddy Pharkas was working in the Pharmacy as usual, puttin' the final touches on his display of "Old Snuffy's Limproot Hair Oil Creme," a display that was gittin' to be the talk of the town. Suddenly, his faithful Indian sidekick, Srini, ran into the Pharmacy.
2 0 0 5 1 He was all a-flutter, and redder than a cowboy caught with his hand in the casaba patch.
2 0 0 6 40 Oh, Freddy! A terrible thing most tragic has happening! The Bank has been up and robberied and the thief has being hidden up in The Ol' Abandoned Gold Mine! Cornered in there he is, yes, but the posse took off at 5:00, and unless from you immediate action is forthcoming, the thief will be escaped, yes indeed!
2 0 0 7 49 Dagnab it! The Ol' Abandoned Mine Company should've boarded that place up ages ago. Very well, Srini, let's get cracking! You go back and make sure he doesn't leave and I'll be there as quick as I can!
2 0 0 8 40 What will you going to do, Freddy? Shoot the rascal upon the back? Give him a knife to the abdomen? Whup him over the head employing a bottle of Geritrol\08?
2 0 0 9 49 All good ideas, Srini, but not my style. Nope, I'm going to seal up that mine permanently and trap that varmint for good!
15 4 0 1 99 Seems sturdy enough...for now.
15 1 0 1 99 Back then, this is what was known as a "support system."
16 4 0 1 99 It took you months to get this table arranged just so. Don't blow it now.
16 1 0 1 99 Just another table upon which to display your many valuable patent medicines and innovative treatments.
17 4 0 1 99 But it's hung so well!
17 1 0 1 99 Ahh, your Diploma from the University of Hicksville School of Apothecary Sciences. The Old Alma Mater. What memories!!
17 1 0 2 99 (Good question!)
7 4 0 1 99 You grab the bottle where you usually keep saltpeter. Unfortunately, it's empty.
7 1 0 1 99 The bottle is labeled 'Saltpeter', but it's empty. Time to order more from the supplier, ol' Salty Peter. Trouble being, he don't usually come around for another couple of weeks.
18 1 0 1 99 The counter gate. You always wanted one of these. Now you have one.
19 4 0 1 99 (We were going to put in this elaborate animation of you touching the giant finger, like the CREATION OF ADAM mural on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel depicting God touching Adam's finger and all these lightning bolts crackling around.)
19 4 0 2 99 (But screw it.)
19 1 0 1 99 The sign clearly lets the townspeople know that the prescription counter is in the BACK of the store.
19 1 0 2 99 Someday, you hope, there will be some sort of glass tube mounted on the back wall, bent in the shape of the word "prescription," and it will give off a bright colorful glow. Wouldn't that be wonderful? That would make people actually WANT to buy drugs!
20 4 0 1 99 Yes, you often feel like tearing this Iced Cream Stand down and binging on the leftover toppings.
20 4 0 2 99 But you're too concerned with maintaining your figure.
20 1 0 1 99 It's your Iced Cream Stand. You thought it would attract customers.
20 1 0 2 99 Now that deliveries of ice are so rare, and most of the milking cows have died, the Iced Cream Stand attracts mostly cockroaches.
21 4 0 1 99 You won't be needing any leeches in this game.
21 1 0 1 99 It's a green bottle filled with the most incredible medical breakthrough known to science.
22 4 0 1 99 No need to turn on the lamp. The dry rot gives off a dandy phosphorescent glow.
22 1 0 1 99 Your designer overhead lamps. You rarely use them, since you generally close the pharmacy around sunset.
23 4 0 1 99 You don't need any of these items, and even if you did, they've expired.
23 1 0 1 99 These items are one or two weeks past their shelf dates: a bottle of Liquid Podiatrist; several tubes of Madamoiselle Lulu's Leprosy Cover Stick; a jar of Captain Jack's 'Chancres Away!'; and a tin of Hired Hand Brand Amore Attractant.
24 4 0 1 99 You don't need any of these items, and even if you did, they're expired.
24 1 0 1 99 These items are about a month past their saleable shelf life: Runyon Bros. Healthful Jerky Gum; Rancher's Pick Nostril Delousing Nostrum; Indiana Brand Industrial Petrolatum Chewable Suppositories; and a box of Lumpkin & Sons Bile-Be-Fresh Liver Deodorizer Lozenges.
25 4 0 1 99 You don't need any of these items, and even if you did, they're expired.
25 1 0 1 99 These items are about 3-4 months past their useable shelf lives: Lady O' Scotland Haggis Queen Conception Preventors; Olde Worlde Belladonna Derivative Blood Rejuvenator; Little Miss Perfect Figure's Daily Purge Syrup; and Uncle Al's A-OK Bowel Resection-In-A-Jar.
26 4 0 1 99 You don't need any of these items, and even if you did, you'd expire.
26 1 0 1 99 On this shelf are the items that are a year or more past their shelf life OR have been found to be poisonous OR have been declared illegal OR have inexplicably reproduced on their own:
26 1 0 2 99 Allbright's Amazing Cataract Thickener; Professor Oppenheimer's Clotz-No-Mor; Haley's L-O Intrauterine Scrub; Father O'Flaherty's Certified Heroin Pepper-Upper; and a pouch of Chief Ernest's Authentic 'Native Delight' Smoking Herbs.
27 4 0 1 99 They're already arranged in a pleasing yet efficient manner.
27 1 0 1 99 A deluxe shelving unit, featuring polished mahogany, filigreed endcaps, extra-wide midheight shelf and no-skid recessed legs.
27 1 0 2 99 (Shelving units for FREDDY PHARKAS provided by Crate & Barrel & Old Used Whiskey Keg & Termite-Infested Rotting Timbers.)
34 4 0 1 99 You briefly consider shoplifting some of these items, but hey, technically you already own them, so where's the thrill?
34 1 0 1 99 Pearls of Pauline\08 Anti-Prunefinger Bathing Gel; My Little Cleft Palate Mouth Putty; Dr. Limbaugh's Chuckle-A-Day Cannabis Extract; Cremation Non-Dairy Coffee Ash; Peaches 'n Cream Brand Creamed Peaches; Chinaman's Choice Real Oriental Curative Straight Pins. 
35 4 0 1 99 You don't need any underarm oatmeal packs; you took care of THAT little problem this morning!
35 1 0 1 99 Chlorinorium Deep-Cleaning Abrasive Facial Scrub; Whoopsy-Daisy Fashione Faire Adult Incontinence Pads; Slick 'n Pretty Canola Oil Shampoo; Luck o' the Irish Underarm Oatmeal Packs; I Can't Believe It's Opium Hallucinogen Stick.
29 4 0 1 99 Leave her where she is, as a shining beacon to all who gaze upon her.
29 4 0 2 99 (Incidentally, have you heard about her recent affair?)
29 1 0 1 99 It's the President's wife.
29 1 0 2 99 She's the head of the "Just Say No to Ether" Campaign.
29 2 0 1 49 Mrs. Cleveland, I just want you to know that your "Just Say No to Ether" campaign has really inspired me. I'm totally committed to wiping out drug abuse in our lifetime.
29 2 0 2 99 (You keep talking to photographs and you WILL be committed, Freddy!)
30 4 0 1 99 Pharmacists in the know (like yourself) know that there's no value to these fake curatives.
30 1 0 1 99 Some of your overstock, stuff nobody wanted: Cheezbro-Palms Athlete's Foot Eradicator Acid; Apex Earhair Wax; Dr. Lecter's Open Wound Bracer and Hangnail Meltaway Compound; Impurina Slug Chow; and Vester's Guaranteed Pumice Acne Treatment. 
31 4 0 1 99 Savvy druggists (like you) eschew the use of trashy medicinals like these.
31 1 0 1 99 Discontinued items: Grecian Horse Formula 99 ("Who Says the Old Gray Mare has to be Gray?"), LaVorhee's Limburger-Sachet Foaming Mouthwash, Butler & Butler "No More Tears" Infected Toenail Rinse, and Taste O' The Southwest Tingling Toothpaste. 
32 4 0 1 99 Chemists who keep up on their trade journals (like you always try to) know that these medications aren't worth the bottles they're bottled in.
32 1 0 1 99 Slightly scratched, dented or damaged items: Worthington's Emulsified Balsamic Emollient Demulcent; Silver Gullet Corrosive Phelgm Wash; Fuddrucker's Therapeutic Sucking Chest Wound Patch; and The Screaming Cowboy's Oh-My-Lord-I-Done-Shot-My-Damned-Foot-Off Specific Ointment.
1 4 0 1 99 Quit picking at everything. That's the sign of an obsessive/compulsive personality disorder.
1 4 0 2 99 (But that's...OK!)
1 1 0 1 99 This place looks remarkably like the pharmacy where you work, excepting, of course, that it's just a demo version. 
3 4 0 1 99 You pick up the small sheet of paper.
3 1 0 1 99 It's a prescription, in Doc Gillespie's typical unreadable writing. You remember filling it earlier this week, but dang if you can remember what it was for or who brought it in!
28 4 0 1 99 They're already arranged in a pleasing yet efficient manner.
28 1 0 1 99 A deluxe shelving unit, featuring polished mahogany, filigreed endcaps, extra-wide midheight shelf and no-skid recessed legs.
28 1 0 2 99 (Shelving units for FREDDY PHARKAS provided by Crate & Barrel & Old Used Whiskey Keg & Termite-Infested Rotting Timbers.)
36 4 0 1 99 Your survival instinct narrowly prevents you from using any of the items on that shelf.
36 1 0 1 99 Prospector's Pride Uranium Hair Highlighter; Her Majesty's Second Favourite Real Cream Toffee Lumps; "Where'd You Get Those Rosy Cheeks?" Face Pincers; Chapspit Mucous Membrane Balm; Ol' Craterface's Arsenic Complexion Tablets; Smathers & Smathers "Scrape Me Off the Ceiling, Lord" Hot Pepper Arthritis Rub. 
37 4 0 1 99 You wouldn't recommend any of these 'medications' to your worst enemy.
37 1 0 1 99 Doc Malarky's Instant Redneck Tanning Fluid; Phlegm-B-Gon Extra-Strength Expectorant; Oil of Ol' Lady Demoisturizer; Flaky Pete's Psoriasis and Dandruff Declumping Unguent; "I Can't Believe It's a Jock Strap" Male Support Garment ("It lifts and separates!"); Detainzall Saltpeter Crystals; Rabbi Johnson's Home Bris-In-A-Box.
33 4 0 1 99 If you pick it up, all the luck will run out of the bottom.
33 1 0 1 99 It's Saint Joseph, patron saint of chewable aspirin.
5 4 0 1 99 You take the vial that usually contains sulfur, a popular antiflatulent. At the moment, you're sold out.
5 1 0 1 99 It's an empty vial marked 'Sulfur'.
===670.msg===
4 4 0 1 99 We locked it before you started playing. See, in the demo version, there's nothing but limbo out there. In the real game, it'd take you to a VERY IMPORTANT SCREEN.
4 1 0 1 99 Looks suspiciously like a door that leads...
4 1 0 2 99 ...to a part of the game that doesn't exist in this demo!
4 1 0 3 99 So don't take a chance.
5 4 0 1 99 It appears to be nailed in place.
5 4 0 2 99 (We wouldn't want you to walk off with the ambience!)
5 1 16 1 99 Sam Andreas's burnished maplewood bar.
5 1 16 2 99 At the moment, it's spotless (except for that gaudy red box o' matches at the end of the bar!).
5 1 17 1 99 Sam Andreas's burnished maplewood bar.
5 1 17 2 99 And Sam's kept it absolutely spotless! 
6 4 0 1 99 Yeah, you try taking one of those bottles and you'll be staring down the wrong end of Sam's famous sawed-off shotgun!
6 1 0 1 99 Sam has stocked the bar with every brand of cheap whiskey listed in the Mr. Fresno Saloonkeeper's Guide.
22 4 0 1 99 You can't reach it from here.
22 4 0 2 99 Besides, you're not nearly drunk enough.
22 1 0 1 99 The chandelier. Most nights you can find at least one or two drunk 'n rowdy cowhands swinging from this thing.
22 1 0 2 99 Business has been a little slow today.
24 4 0 1 99 It won't do you any good. The dice are missing and it isn't Casino Night.
24 1 0 1 99 It's the dice machine, sometimes known as a Chuck-A-Luck.
24 1 0 2 99 You've played it. Apparently you chucked the last of your luck a long time ago.
7 11 0 1 99 Uh-oh. The aleing doctor, pre-inebriated from countless rounds at the bar, is bound to get even more blotto from your generous gift.
7 21 0 1 48 Is this a subtle way of telling me you think I should get bombed again? Hear, hear! Bartender?
7 15 13 1 48 Whodaya think you're tryin' to kid, Pharkash? There'sh nothin' in that bottle. Why are you tormenting me sho?
7 15 12 1 48 A bottle, right? Say, why not purchase me a drink for my correct description of the item?
7 26 13 1 48 Looksh activated. Nice shtuff. Did you know that you can age whishkey in charcoal kegsh? Yepper.
7 26 12 1 48 A handful of activated charcoal, apparently derived from a hardwood of some sort. See, Frederick, I've still got my wits about me.
7 16 13 1 48 An empty cup...thash the shaddest thing I ever sheen. <sniffle> <hic>
7 16 12 1 48 It appears to be an empty cup. What would you have me do with it?
7 4 13 1 48 Hey, doan' touch me...I'm shterile! <hic>
7 4 15 1 99 Other frontier pharmacists have been SHOT for less than touching someone else's drink!
7 4 12 1 48 Please remove your hand from my immediate vicinity. Much obliged.
7 10 0 1 99 Thinking you're giving him a complimentary beverage, the Doc quaffs your thinly-disguised bottle o' java.
7 10 0 2 99 That oughtta sober him up.
7 10 0 3 99 Too bad you didn't think of this last week, before the good Doctor operated on your old friend, Phil Graves.
7 10 0 4 99 Poor dear, departed Phil.
7 12 13 1 48 Never touch the shtuff. Ish poishon.
7 12 12 1 48 No thank you, I never drink coffee. Dulls the senses and muddles the thought processes.
7 22 13 1 48 Hey, shaltpeter! Didja ever try puttin' thish shtuff around the rim <urrrrrrrp> of a margarita glash? Very shavwah... shavwoyer... shavwoo...tres elegansh!
7 22 12 1 48 Ah, you're in possession of a quantity of nitrate. Very useful for diminishing sexual activity or as a component of explosives. Good for you, Frederick!
7 14 0 1 48 I've given you all the sulfur I have right now, Frederick.
7 18 13 1 48 Shwing! <hiccup> Pardon me, I mean Shtring!
7 18 12 1 48 A length of fuse! Gracious, Frederick, it almost appears as if you're attempting to create some sort of explosive device. That hardly seems like something a peaceloving, mild-mannered pharmacist like you would attempt. Perhaps there's a darker, less restrained side to you that the world hardly ever sees.
7 18 12 2 99 FORESHADOWING ALERT! FORESHADOWING ALERT!
7 1 13 1 99 It's old Doc Gillespie, stewed to the gills as usual.
7 1 13 2 99 As Doc's fond of explaining it, "Hey, I gotta keep up with all o' da latesht improvementsh in anaeshtheshia."
7 1 15 1 99 Looks like Doc's been drinking his usual: Vodka and non-dairy creamer.
7 1 15 2 99 (It's called a White Castle.)
7 1 12 1 99 Doc is looking a little less schnockered than he usually does, thanks to your quick thinking and clever manipulation of the objects in your handy saddlebag!
7 19 13 1 48 Matchesh! Hey, Freddy, here'sh a match for ya...my face and...no, waitaminnit...your matchesh and...wait...it'll come to me...
7 19 12 1 48 A box of lucifers, I would guess.
7 9 13 1 48 YAAAAARRRGGGHHH! Whaddid you do with the resht of Madame Ovaree?
7 9 13 2 48 Oh, she's over there...never mind...
7 9 12 1 48 A speck of velveteen, is it? Curious!
7 17 13 1 48 Whosh handwriting is that? I can hardly read it. <gurgle> <hic>
7 17 12 1 48 Ah, that was a prescription for saltpeter. I gave it to Madame Ovaree a few days back in order to cool the ardor of that overeager Blacksmith. I hope for her sake that it was efficacious.
7 20 13 1 49 Doc, you wouldn't happen to have any saltpeter, would you?
7 20 13 2 48 Maybe yesh, maybe no. Maybe you should buy me another li'l drink.
7 20 12 1 49 Doc, can I get some sodium nitrate from you?
7 20 12 2 48 Love to oblige, Freddy, but I'm fresh out.
7 2 14 1 49 Doc, now that you're sober, let me give you something to think about.
7 2 14 2 49 You're a man of medicine, somebody we all look up to. We entrust you with our health, our well-being, our very lives.
7 2 14 3 49 It's vitally important that a man in your position remain alert at all times. If you don't, disaster may result...a botched prescription, an incorrect diagnosis, a -- dare I say it? -- mistake during surgery!
7 2 14 4 99 (Editor's footnote: This is what's called FORESHADOWING. Look it up. You'll understand it better when you play the full game.)
7 2 14 5 49 Ahem.
7 2 14 6 49 Anyway, I'm simply trying to impress upon you the need for sobriety. Perhaps you can take this brief moment of lucidity to mend your ways, straighten up, and become the upstanding, clear-headed thinker we all know you are.
7 2 14 7 49 What do you say?
7 2 14 8 48 Frederick, my boy, you're absolutely right. I have been a sot and an inebriated, untrustworthy lowlife.
7 2 14 9 48 I am hereby turning over a new leaf.
7 2 14 10 48 Shall we have a little something to celebrate my newfound adherence to the straight and narrow? A bit of the bubbly, perhaps? Barkeep, a round over here for me and my inspiring friend!
7 2 14 11 3 When I feel like it.
7 2 8 1 49 Howdy, Doc.
7 2 8 2 48 Frederick! Howareya? Thash shwell. Howzthingsh? Oh, thash terrific. <hic> Well, ish been great shpeakin' to ya <hic>. Take care now.
7 2 9 1 49 Doc Gillespie, just the man I'm looking for!
7 2 9 2 48 Whu? Whyzat? I shwear, itsh an eshtablished medical proshedure. I wuzh not negligent. <hic>
7 2 9 3 49 No, no, you have me confused with someone else. I was simply looking for some assistance in my efforts to confound the forces of evil.
7 2 9 4 48 Well, I'd love to help, Mishter Pharkash, but I'm a little blotto at the moment. <hic> I'll be happy to help you, but perhapsh shome other time...
7 2 9 5 99 And with that, the Doctor returns to his pet project: seeing how many shots of booze it takes to get to the center of a liver condition.
7 2 10 1 49 Feeling better, Doc?
7 2 10 2 48 I...I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I feel most peculiar!
7 2 10 3 49 It's called "sobriety."
7 2 10 4 48 Ahh! Interesting. Now what can I do for you?
7 2 10 5 49 I'm looking for a little help.
7 2 10 6 48 Always glad to help! Now, son, what do you need?
7 2 10 7 49 Um. Er. Ah. Well, I'm not sure exactly.
7 2 10 8 48 Well, m'boy, pardon me for saying, but that's a bit vague. Why not come on back when you've got a clearer notion of just what it is you're after?
7 2 10 9 49 Fair enough, Doc. I'll be back.
7 2 11 1 49 Doc!
7 2 11 2 48 Frederick Pharkas! I know you.
7 2 11 3 49 Yes, you do, and it's nice to see you recognize me for once.
7 2 11 4 49 I need something from you.
7 2 11 5 48 Glad to help you out if I can, Frederick. What do you need from me?
7 24 13 1 48 Ish a can, right? Whaddo I win?
7 24 12 1 48 A can, apparently made of some metallic substance. Thank goodness I'm here for you, Frederick, or you couldn't find your probiscus in front of your visage. Heh heh!
7 23 13 1 48 Ish Bloody Mary mix, right?
7 23 12 1 48 Ah, you've created some sort of crude explosive. Nitrate, charcoal, and sulfur, packed in a can. Watch yourself, Frederick, you could injure yourself.
7 13 9 1 49 Doc, would you happen to have any non-metallic pale yellow element in a crystalline orthorhombic native state? My sulfur vial is empty.
7 13 9 2 48 Maybe yesh, maybe no. Maybe you should buy me another li'l drink firsht. <hic>
7 13 11 1 49 Would you fill this up for me?
7 13 11 2 48 Certainly! I just happen to carry some sulfur with me, as a handy fungicide. Here, take some!
7 13 11 3 99 The Doctor fills your vial with sulfur and hands it back to you.
8 4 0 1 99 There's nothing on the table worth taking.
8 1 0 1 99 The Wheel of Fortune table. Looks like nobody's in a gambling mood today.
9 4 0 1 99 You're tempted to spin the wheel and shout, "Big money! Big money!" However, it's not Wednesday and the gambling laws are strictly observed here.
9 1 0 1 99 It's the wheel of fortune, used mostly on Wednesday nights (Casino Night at the Golden Balls).
10 4 0 1 99 It wouldn't do to be caught walking off with somebody's hat, coat, gun belt...
10 4 0 2 99 ...or whatever!
10 1 0 1 99 It's a hat rack, where the patrons hang their hats, coats, gun belts...
10 1 0 2 99 ...and the occasional short stranger!
21 4 0 1 99 What, take this away? C'mon, some day it'll be a classic.
21 1 0 1 99 It appears to be a tiny picture of mice playing poker.
1 4 0 1 47 Why, Frederick Pharkas, I do declare! I simply can't remember the last time you touched me...
1 4 0 2 47 ...in public...
1 4 0 3 47 ...in broad daylight!
1 22 0 1 47 Sorry, Frederick, I've already filled this bottle for you. That's all the saltpeter I have to spare!
1 6 6 1 47 Take that silly thing away, Freddy.
1 6 0 1 47 Don't give that to me right now, Freddy! Can't you see I'm simply having a conniption fit? Honestly!
1 6 7 1 47 Don't give that to me right now, Freddy! Can't you see I'm simply having a conniption fit? Honestly!
1 1 0 1 99 That'd be Madame Ovaree, the lady of the house across the street.
1 9 0 1 47 You DARLIN' hunk of pharmacist! You found my mole! I could just kiss you to death!
1 9 0 2 49 Well now, Ma'am, I was just doin' my duty.
1 9 0 3 47 Well, this little ol' mole means more to me than a peck o' cowhands on payday. An' anything you want, Frederick, you just name it, it's yourn.
1 9 0 4 49 Now that you mention it, Madame, there is one little thing I could use.
1 9 0 5 47 Oh, yeah? Anything you want, just name it.
1 9 0 6 49 Welp, if I could just have a bit of that saltpeter back I prescribed for you awhile back, I'd be much obliged.
1 9 0 7 47 Wellllll...
1 9 0 8 47 I WUZ savin' it for the Blacksmith...he does like to roughhouse, y'know...but I owes you one, Frederick Pharkas. Do you have something appropriate to put it in?
1 9 0 9 49 Lemme see.
1 17 6 1 47 Why, that's the prescription Doc Gillespie gave me last week for Saltpeter! Remember?
1 17 7 1 47 That does look vaguely familiar, Freddy darlin', but please, can't you see I'm all in a tizzy? Ask me about it later!
1 20 6 1 49 Here you go, Madame, if you could fill this up with saltpeter, I'd be much obliged.
1 20 6 2 47 It's all yours, Frederick!
1 20 6 3 99 Madame Ovaree fills your saltpeter jar with saltpeter and hands it back to you.
1 20 7 1 47 Just WHAT am I supposed to do with THIS?
1 2 6 1 47 Well, Freddy? Have you found something to put that saltpeter in?
1 2 6 2 49 I'm workin' on it, Madame Ovaree, I'm workin' on it.
1 2 6 3 47 Well, y'all know where to find me, darlin'.
1 2 5 1 49 Madame, thanks again for the saltpeter. It suits my present needs perfectly.
1 2 5 2 47 Anytime, you thrillin' specimen of apothecary science you. Now jus' don't take too much of it yourself, honey. I was countin' on seein' you after the hoedown Friday night.
1 2 1 1 49 Say, Madame Ovaree...
1 2 1 2 47 Not now, Freddy Pharkas! And watch where you move, I'm lookin' for something!
1 2 1 3 49 Lose a contact?
1 2 1 4 47 WORSE! I've lost my imported Italian mole from Fredrick's of Bakersfield! All m' sex appeal, all m' delicate high-class looks...LOST!
1 2 1 5 47 If you see it, you WILL return it to me, won't you, sweetie?
1 2 1 6 49 Pardon me for commentin', Ma'am, but isn't that just a li'l teensy thing? Couldn't you use like, a speck o' mud or something?
1 2 1 7 47 I refuse to even dignify that question with an answer!
1 2 1 8 3 Oh, go ahead, dignify it.
1 2 2 1 49 Found your mole yet, Madame?
1 2 2 2 47 NO, I most certainly have not, and I daresay I'm at the ends of my WITS about it!
3 4 0 1 99 You pick up and pocket the box of "Golden Balls Saloon" matches. Now you're the envy of all your friends!
3 1 0 1 99 It's a red box of Golden Balls "lucifers" (what you call your matches these days).
12 4 0 1 99 It's out of reach.
12 1 0 1 99 It's a Moose head.
12 1 0 2 99 (The only domestic brand Sam serves!)
12 2 0 1 99 Glancing around to make sure nobody's looking, you turn to the moosehead and say...
12 2 0 2 49 Hey! Decided to quit while you were ahead?
12 2 0 3 99 You chuckle quietly to yourself.
12 2 0 4 99 Then you're startled to hear the moose reply, "Hey, buddy, you're really funny! Why, that's the first time I've heard that joke..."
12 2 0 5 99 "...TODAY!!!!!"
13 4 0 1 99 That'll be twenty bucks for a quick feel of the painting.
13 1 0 1 99 It's a painting of Chastity, one of the girls over at Madame's.
13 1 0 2 99 It's so lifelike, you feel like you could just reach out and touch it!
13 1 0 3 99 (Of course, last time you did that, it cost you $20.)
14 4 0 1 99 The mural is so realistic, you can practically feel the nymphs and satyrs frolicking in the Dionysian setting.
14 4 0 2 99 (You feel an overwhelming urge to be alone for a few minutes!)
14 1 0 1 99 A beautiful mural from the Starving Artists of Coarsegold. (They used to hold sales over in the lobby of the Dirty Sheets Hotel.)
15 4 0 1 99 Sorry, only the piano player, Neville Shute, can play this piano.
15 4 0 2 99 (You know. Neville Shute, the Piano Player...he's doing the best he can.)
15 1 0 1 99 It's a honky-tonk piano, 82-and-a-half keys of pure musical entertainment.
15 1 0 2 99 (The pianist gets Sundays and Demos off.)
16 4 0 1 99 You've got more important things to do right now than play with those balls!
16 1 0 1 99 Looks like somebody scratched.
23 4 0 1 99 (Obvious joke about getting horny goes here. We'll let YOU fill it in!)
23 1 0 1 99 It's a rack for hats that have bullet holes through 'em.
25 4 0 1 99 That's Sam's property, keep your prescription-fillin' hands off it.
25 1 0 1 99 Sam Andreas's Golden Balls Saloon. It used to be a pawn shop, but the owner hocked it.
17 4 0 1 99 You had enough of roulette last week at Casino Night.
17 1 0 1 99 A roulette table, for Casino Night.
11 11 0 1 3 Sorry, they're no-deposit, no-return. But nice try.
11 21 0 1 3 Hmm. Don't think I know how to make one of those, Freddy. But if you like, I'll be happy to whip you up a Moltov Cocktail.
11 15 0 1 3 Sorry, they're no-deposit, no-return. But I like the way you think.
11 26 0 1 3 No, thank you. I prefer my mesquite a little rarer.
11 16 0 1 3 Didn't I mention? The mugs are yours to keep. A souvenier. Tell your friends about us.
11 4 0 1 3 'Afternoon, Freddy. What kin I getcha?
11 10 0 1 3 I suppose your mother never told you not to play with your food?
11 12 0 1 3 What's the problem? Too cold? Too hot? Not enough real Jamaican flavor?
11 12 0 2 3 Well, sorry, it's all we've got. Carlos the Coffeeman didn't come around this month.
11 22 0 1 3 Sea salt? Well, thank you, Freddy, but I couldn't possibly accept such a gracious gift.
11 14 0 1 3 Sulfur. Looks good, Freddy. Any other chemicals you wanted to share with me, or were you just especially proud of this one?
11 18 0 1 3 A fuse. Nice. Mine is longer, but of course you had no way of knowing that.
11 1 0 1 99 It's Sam Andreas, the bartender (and polite to a fault)!
11 19 0 1 3 They're on the house, Freddy. Feel free.
11 9 0 1 3 Oh, a little round speck of fuzz. How cute. Have you thought about starting a collection?
11 17 0 1 3 Looks like Doc's handwriting to me. But what do I know? I'm a bartender, not a licensed graphologist.
11 20 0 1 3 Nice jar. Cobalt blue. Probably cost you a few pennies at a flea market. So?
11 20 0 2 49 I just thought you might like to see it.
11 20 0 3 3 Oh. Well, thanks for thinking of me.
11 2 3 1 49 So, Sam, what's shaking?
11 2 3 2 3 Not much, Freddy. Heard about the fella what robbed Bob's Bank a while back?
11 2 3 3 49 A-yep.
11 2 3 4 3 Bad thing.
11 2 3 5 49 A-yup.
11 2 3 6 3 Hear he's hidin' out in the Old Abandoned Mine.
11 2 3 7 49 A-yip.
11 2 3 8 3 Now, I was thinkin' that a fella could pretty much seal off that mine if a fella was to manufacture some sorta homemade bomb.
11 2 3 9 49 A-yeah?
11 2 3 10 3 'Course, he'd need some sorta explosive powder...mebbe just mix up some saltpeter and some sulfur, bit o' charcoal, put it all in a metal can and attach a fuse. Know what I mean?
11 2 3 11 49 A-yup.
11 2 3 12 3 But that'd be wrong, wouldn't it?
11 2 3 13 49 A-mebbe.
11 2 1 1 49 Set me up a cold frosty one, Sam.
11 2 1 2 3 Sure thing, Freddy. One root beer, comin' up.
11 2 1 3 99 Sam gives you a root beer.
11 2 2 1 49 How 'bout a cuppa Joe, Sam?
11 2 2 2 3 One International Deluxe Coffee, comin' right up.
11 2 2 3 99 Sam hands you a mug o' java.
11 24 0 1 3 A tin can.
11 24 0 2 3 Freddy, if I had a goat, he'd be very grateful, I'm sure. But I don't. So you hang onto this, okay? 'Kay.
11 23 0 1 3 A bomb, right?
11 23 0 2 49 Right.
11 23 0 3 3 Score!
11 13 0 1 3 A vial. Thanks for sharing that with me.
18 4 0 1 99 That's not the way to get on stage.
18 4 0 2 99 It takes practice, practice, practice.
18 1 0 1 99 The world-famous Golden Balls Stage.
18 1 0 2 99 Most days, you can find major vaudeville acts here, bringing their own unique brands of music, comedy, dance and magic to the folks of Coarsegold.
18 1 0 3 99 Some of the more popular acts include: Baa-Baa Mandrill and her All-Sheep Chorus Line; The Amazing Baloni; Bruce The Sashaying Cowboy; Mimi, Dotty and Franny, The Singing Siamese Triplets With a Little Psoriasis; and Young Dogies in Trouble.
19 4 0 1 99 It's glued to the floor by thousands of layers of mostly-dried beer.
19 1 0 1 99 Just one of the rugged rough-hewn tables in the Saloon. This one is reserved for the heavy drinkers. As are they all.
20 4 0 1 99 It's glued to the floor by thousands of layers of mostly-dried beer.
20 1 0 1 99 Just one of the rugged, rough-hewn tables in the Saloon. This one is reserved for the heavy drinkers.
===990.msg===
22 0 0 1 98 Cancel 
23 0 0 1 98 Change
Directory
24 0 0 1 98 Delete 
31 0 0 1 98 No 
38 0 0 1 98 Cancel
27 0 0 1 98 OK
25 0 0 1 98 Replace
26 0 0 1 98 Restore
28 0 0 1 98 Save 
32 0 0 1 98 Yes
12 0 0 1 98 Are you sure you want to
delete this saved game?
20 0 0 1 98 Restore a Game
21 0 0 1 98 Save a Game
29 0 0 1 98 %s
is not a valid directory. 
30 0 0 1 98 This directory/disk can hold no more saved games. You must replace one of your saved games or use Change Directory to save on a different directory/disk.
1 0 0 1 98 New save-game directory:
33 0 0 1 98 Replace
34 0 0 1 98 with:
3 0 0 1 98 You must type a description for the game.
10 0 0 1 98 Select the game that you would like to restore.
11 0 0 1 98 Type the description of this saved game.
===994.msg===
22 0 0 1 98 Cancel 
23 0 0 1 98 Change
Directory
24 0 0 1 98 Delete 
31 0 0 1 98 No 
38 0 0 1 98 Cancel
27 0 0 1 98 OK
25 0 0 1 98 Replace
26 0 0 1 98 Restore
28 0 0 1 98 Save 
32 0 0 1 98 Yes
12 0 0 1 98 Are you sure you want to
delete this saved game?
20 0 0 1 98 Restore a Game
21 0 0 1 98 Save a Game
29 0 0 1 98 %s
is not a valid directory. 
30 0 0 1 98 This directory/disk can hold no more saved games. You must replace one of your saved games or use Change Directory to save on a different directory/disk.
1 0 0 1 98 New save-game directory:
33 0 0 1 98 Replace
34 0 0 1 98 with:
3 0 0 1 98 You must type a description for the game.
10 0 0 1 98 Select the game that you would like to restore.
11 0 0 1 98 Type the description of this saved game.
Category:Transcripts