"Uke Face" Eight

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The 16 year old Monk of Class Zero and everybody's bitch. Even GDI Ace's
Eight is a pacifist who fights anyway cause the Milites Empire is gay and stuff and took their crystal like stupid bumholes. 
Eight was very distressed by this along with the rest of Suzaku, but quickly gets over it in time for wangsting and relationships whenever it is needed. As it works in 90210.
He's been with Balthier, which went pretty well until they ended it cause of their clashing personalities. But then he got with his crush Jack quicker than a slut that's drunk and living in Slutviille. But then Naghi kissed him and shit just got real.
Cinque - a close friend but creeps him out sometimes with her love of maces and smashing things with it.
Cater - like a sister, and even though the pairing is soopah-desu outside of FFT, here it's like incest, besides, she's with Carla.
Seven - also like a sister to him, a sister who he helps shower and stuff when she's naked, nbd.
Trey - totally straight in his books okay.
Nine - has a habit of throwing moogles at him.
Jack - Seme
Rem - the super swag pyro in his books with the awesome 
Queen - Woman can't handle the vodka
Sice - the awesome Ero-Lezo trying to get into every girl's pants plus King.
Kurasame - Oh Captain ooh
Machina - Chocobo fucker's bro
Ace - GDI
"Mmm I love a good spitroast yum cock" - That one time he got fraped which was like, the best frape ever okay.