1994 20th Century Fox Logo Bloopers Season 1 Complete Full Length Version by Emmanuel2010 Films Inc.

IBM. Not IBM, 20th Century Fox. The IBM is the commercial plug should be a commercial plug. Change the logo now! Coca-Cola. Do they mean the Super Bowl XLV champion, Coca-Cola? Don't remind me, Mary. I wanted Pittsburgh to win. Not Coca-Cola, 20th Century Fox. Change it! Well, what are you waiting for? Okay, okay. Don't rush me. Toshiba? Toshiba? That logo should watch its the electronic device. You idiot! You changed the wrong logo! Now get it right immediately! Now it's Meijer. I never went grocery shopping at Meijer. Hey Mr. Shield, can you make the next logo go grocery shopping at Meijer? As good as done, Mary. Of course, we all know Sam's Meijer is P-U. Buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe! That's enough! Shield, you're not going to display Meijer or Kroger or even ALDI. You are under contract to display 20th Century Fox and only 20th Century Fox. I'm giving you one last chance. That does it! Shield, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I have only this to say to you: Heineken! I'm going to visit Tom and Jerry at M-G-M. If he's fired, I quit. Heineken, Sam. Dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy! No, no, no! The 20th Century Fox logo is supposed to stop when the music starts, not fly away. Let's try it again. Uh-oh! Runaway searchlight! He didn't want to be detected by crooks. He's a goddanged show-off. Now let's try the logo again. All right shield, what are you trying to do to us? I just wanted to spice things up. You should know when to stop. Now let's try the logo again. Stop the music! This is the music for other version! Now let's try it one more time. Jeez Louise! Who flipped the frame? Sorry. I hit a bump in the road. Well, that explains it. Let's break for lunch. B-backwards N-D? What the heck kind of weird-butt name is that? Looks like a Buddha. If this Buddha can bend it, who needs Beckham? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Lorimar. Where have I heard that name before? I used to date her, but she dumped me for a foreign logo. Steak 'n Shake! Steak 'n Shake. They bring good things to life. What is this, a commercial? You can be sure... ...if it's Westinghouse. Get out of here, Westinghouse! This is not a commercial production. What are you talking about? This is a free country, isn't it? Out out out out out! O-U-T! Out! Sam, Sam, Sam. Why must you be so rude to our guests? Shut up, you buttwipe! WeatherTech. I used to own a WeatherTech set. I was expecting WeatherTech car mats myself. Get out! No more commercial plugs in an ident! Period! Clearchoice. How do you Clearchoice? I Clearchoice very well. Now this is getting racy. I agree. What else could come up? The Viacom V of Doom? Oh noes! I shouldn't have said that! [POW!] [BLAM!] Jeez Louise! Did you see that? I don't believe it. The V of Doom just ran Microsoft Sam over like a steamroller. Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam. Did you get the license of that truck? Let's get Sam to a hospital. Yuengling? Yuengling? That's not right. That's wrong! It should be 20th Century Fox, not Yuengling. Yuengling makes me think of a beer. Speak for yourself, Mike. I just used the restroom a couple of minutes ago. I can tell. I can smell it from a mile away. P-U. Now that's silly. Who ever heard of a W-W-W 20th Century Fox logo? World War? Wild Whiskey? Weird Willie? Wolf Whistle. Do that to me, Sam, and I'll slap you! Dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy! Now what in the heck is a B-B-B 20th Century Fox logo? I've heard of a B-B-B gun, but not a B-B-B 20th Century Fox logo. BBBBBBBBBBB! I hope they get it right this time. WWE? WWE? I don't want tuberculosis. Computer voices never catch tuberculosis. We don't even have lungs. Tuberculosis? Eewwwwww! They'd better get it right this time, or else! Oh no! Not BP! Anything but BP! I don't care if they they cleaned up their image after that oil spill! I'm never getting gasoline from BP as long as I live! You hear me? Never! Now hear this! If you say BP one more time, I'm going to zoom in and beat you up! Screw you, BP! We all hate you, and we wish you were never invented! All right, you asked for it! No no no no no no! I'd take it back! [BLAM!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam! He's out cold, Mary. We'll have to get him to the hospital. And look at the set. It's falling apart. We'll have to put up an OUT OF ORDER sign before we get Sam to the doctor. Great idea, Mike. Now let's go. What the heck is this? There are no captions with the searchlights! I agree with you, Sam. Searchlight, go back and get some captions. Cuisinart? I thought KitchenAid owned Cuisinart, not News Corporation. Cuisinart, KitchenAid, Honeywell. I get a kitchen appliance from Cuisinart. Wrong logo. Change it. This is not The Sharper Image, this is 20th Century Fox. Change it. [NBC Chimes] The following program is brought to you in Living Color on NBC. Oh, how cute. I love peacocks. I don't. I'm allergic to them. Ahhh... ahhh... Ahh-CHOOOO! Gesundheit. Ah, a new house. I've always wanted to live in a NET house. Keep it up, Sam, and you'll be living in a NUT house! As for you, NET House, go back and get me the 20th Century Fox Logo! NOW! Mike, why must you be such a buttwipe? Sam, you sonofagun, I am not an f--ing buttwipe! You're a potty mouth, as well as a liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! 20th Century Fox on Kenmore? That'd be new. Anything would be better than that crum they use the kitchen appliance. Go! Go go go go go go go! Take it easy, Mike. It's not my fault we keep getting all the wrong logos. It could be worse, like the Screen Gems S from Heck. No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooo! Not that! Not the S from Heck! Let me outta here! Eeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... What's the matter with Sam? He's been terrified of scary logos. First the Viacom V of Doom, next the BP Shield, now the Screen Gems S from Heck. I think he needs professional help. I agree, Mary. Let's find him, then we'll seek out a psychiatrist. Hahahahahahahahahahah lol lol lol lol rofl rofl rofl rofl soi soi soi soi! What's so goddanged funny, Sam? The captions 20th Century Fox came in without the searchlights. Hahhahahaahahahahahah! It just looks so exquisite that way. 20th Century Fox 35? The 1935 20th Century Pictures logo in a 1994 20th Century Fox Logo? They must be really ahead of their time. 20th Century Fox 35, this is a 1994 20th Century Fox Logo and you don't come in until 1935. 20th Century Fox 53? Didn't they make shoes? I take a size 9. 1994, not 1953! Now it's the 1981 20th Century Fox Logo. Our movies can be Fox if Sam wasn't such a grouch. That doesn't come in until 1981. Go back and bring up the proper logo. Lionsgate? That didn't even exist in 1994. And this is supposed to be News Corporation. Get out of here now! Sam, Sam, Sam, why are you such a grouch? Who asked you, buttwipe? Stop calling me a buttwipe, you sonofagun! Jersey Mike's Subs has taken over News Corporation. I guess sandwich will star in an ID soon. No more sandwiches, my friend, and I'm giving you one more chance. The Jamba Juice in a 20th Century Fox ID! Now the Jamba Juice is a free smoothie restaurant. Sorry, but Jamba Juice a couple of years ago. Smoothie substituted cyanide for Jamba Juice's smoothie and beat the snot out of the one-eyed smoothie. And they hanged smoothie for the *** of Jamba Juice. There was not a dry eye in Sweethaven that day. Enough, all of you! And as for the idiot messing up the logos, you're fired! Now you've done it, Sam! Where are we going to find someone to man the shield? There are plenty of other fish in this ocean. They come a dime a dozen. While we're looking for a replacement, let's all go out for lunch. All right! What's going on here? Hey---you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. You got the caption wrong. It's either 20th Century Fox or Fox Searchlight Pictures, not 20th Searchlight Pictures. Go back and change it. Okay, boss. Fox Century Fox? They should have stuck with 20th Searchlight Pictures. I agree. Sounds like tunes for me--- 20th Searchlight Pictures. Hee hee hee hee hee! That's R-O-N-G wrong. Start over. What's this? "Xof yrutnec ht02?" What the heck are you trying to do to me? I was trying to do the whole thing with mirrors. What you have is a mirror image. Go back and do it right. Well, tscha! Nobody appreciates creativity any more. Hey Sam, they finally gave you top billing. I knew they'd give Sam his due sooner or later. Only something's not right. What do you mean? I gave you your proper billing, didn't I? Not the title card you're showing now, the one before it. What's wrong with it? The word below the name is wrong. It should say "20th Century Fox," not "Fox resents." It's not a mistake. News Corporation really does resent you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Why you--- [BOOM!] Take it easy, Sam. He was just teasing you. Shut up, you buttwipe! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! 2 logos of 20th Century Fox in an ident! How silly! Lexmark! That's what I say! We need to talk. Yeah? Whatta you want to talk about, Sam? Not here. Meet me in my office in five minutes. Don't be too rough on him, Sam. He's only learning the ropes. I'm in charge and I'll do what I want. Besides, jobs like his come a dime a dozen. Cut! All right, what's going on here? Hey, you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. It's not supposed to be 20th Cantury Fox; it's supposed to be 20th Century Fox. Change it! Well, it is an improvement, but next time, it's not 20th Cintury Fox, it's 20th Century Fox and get it right, capeesh? As Steve Martin used to say, well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Hey Mike, look at the caption! 20th Contury Fox. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny, you buttwipe! One letter is supposed to have O and the other E. Change it, or else! Tscha! I can't stand being "or elsed." What are you anyway, a comedian or something? Get it right! Now! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "20th Cuntury Fox!" That's rich! Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah Mary, that's so funny! Ha ha ha ha ha! That does it! Caption guy, yoooooooooooou're fired! Fired? Fired? Screw you, Microsoft Sam! I'll see you in court! Take over, Mike. See if you can get it right, unlike that dime-a-dozen bum. Sorry, forgot to put the captions "20th Century Fox" above the News Corporation byline. I'll try again. Dang! Now I forgot the byline! I miss that dime-a-dozen bum already. Don't worry, Mike. All you need is a little more practice. Let's take a break. There, there, Sam. You're probably having one of those days. After the break, I'll see if we can get the old caption guy back before he sues us for wrongful termination. Dummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-my! Cut! Where's the Century Fox? I see a 20th, but no Century Fox. All right, you buttwipe! Where's the 20th? He had to take a leak. I don't give a flying caption! Go back and get me the 20th! All right, all right! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Garfield and Friends? What is this, a TV show? Garfield and Friends without those characters? Eeewwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Not Garfield and Friends, you fool! 20th Century Fox! Change it! NOW!! Thomas & Friends. We must be in the train. Train must be hiding out someplace. Not Thomas & Friends! 20th Century Fox! 20th Century Fox 20th Century Fox 20th Century Fox 20th Century Fox 20th Century Fox! All right! Can I help it if you act childish? Target? I feel like I'm in a department store. I'm all for going to the steam room when this program is over. So am I, but Sam better keep his towels dry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, you dummy! And as for the searchlight guy, one more slip-up, and I'll have you transferred to the Pink Panther Show! Sam, Sam, Sam. What makes you act like such a grouch? That's none of your business, you buttwipe! I am not a buttwipe, you sonofagun! I'm not a sonofagun, you buttwipe! [BUZZER] And stop razzing me! That's what I say! Searchlight guy, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I'll sue you for every cent you've got, Microsoft Sam! It will only be frivolous because I fired that dime-a-dozen bum with cause! There, there, Sam. Let me try the shield zoom. Can't be any worse than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Liar! Uh-oh! I had the picture upside down. I'll try to fix it. Later, Mary. Let's take a break. You need a vacation, Sam. Your nerves have been bothering you lately. Buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe! I agree with you, Mike. He's having a bad day. Oy vey! Cut, cut, cut! The 20th Century Fox logo is supposed to be 1994, not 2009. Sorry, Boss. I just got a little excited. You again!? I thought I fired you last episode. You did, but I filed a lawsuit against you and won, so here I am again. I see your point. Now, you better toe the line, or else! Remind me to fire my lawyers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shell in 20th Century Fox! I agree that it's funny, Mike. I guess we better pack our bags and move to Japan. We're not moving to Japan. Shell does not own News Corporation. Get me the proper logo! Now! Marathon is into 20th Century Fox now? I can just see gas meeting Homer Simpson. What the heck is the Marathon logo doing in my 20th Century Fox ID? Get out! Now! Now it's Woodman's that's trying to take over 20th Century Fox. This sucks! I hate Woodman's, you hear? I hate Woodman's! I hate Woodman's! I hate Woodman's! Jeez Louise! I goofed again! Have mercy! Go! Go go go go go go go! And this time, stay outta my life forever! Oh yeah? Well, try this on for size, you buttwipe! Look, it's Festival Foods. Those knuckleheads make me laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What are you anyway, a Wisenheimer? I told you to get out of my life forever. I heard you fired your lawyers, so there's no way you can kick me out of here. I'll find a way to kick you out, all right. You just try. In the meantime, chew on this! Judas Priest! It's the Screen Gems S from Heck! I hate that infernal logo so much, I wanna barf all over it! What the heck? I'll do it now! [Sam barfing] Nice try, but you're still forever banned from working here under penalty of death. Okay, Sam. If you insist on barring me from my job, I'm using my secret weapon. Take that, you meany! Oh noes! It's that infernal Viacom V of Doom! Let me outta here! Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Not so fast there, Microsoft Sam! I was sent here to torment you. And if you don't re-hire me, Sam, the V of Doom will torment you forever! This is all your doing, you dime-a-dozen bum! I'll never re-hire you and this infernal V of Doom will never get away with--- Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You leave Microsoft Sam alone, you infernal beasty! Do not interfere with justice, you buttwipe! That's enough, V of Doom! For tormenting Sam and insulting Mike, I'm letting you have it! Take that, you King Daddy of scary logos! [BOOM!!] Thanks, Mary. You saved my life. Speakonia Male 1, you're re-hired. I should have known better. Just don't threaten me with scary logos again. It's a deal, Sam. [NBC Chime] Oy vey! Now it's the NBC Snake. Next, they'll say "brought to you in Living Color." Brought to you in Living Color. Now cut that out! Judas Priest! Just back on the job, and already Sam's starting in on me again! Take it easy, Sam. He's been having a rough time lately, and so have you. I guess you're right, Mike. I think we could use nice relaxing vacation. Perhaps we can go to Japan. Just kidding! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cut! All right, searchlight guy, who are you trying to impress? I wanted to get a little creative. The logo is supposed to display 1994, not 1933. You'll get kids to poop in their pants. Poop in their pants? P-U! Look, Mary, it's Lightstorm Entertainment. Lightstorm Entertainment? Great! Now we can watch Titanic uninterrupted, uncut and uncensored. I have one word for putting Lightstorm Entertainment where 20th Century Fox would normally be: uneducated. Take back the Lightstorm Entertainment logo and get me the 20th Century Fox Logo! Now! Futurama? That's nice. It used to be Futurama before it became. The Futurama meant TV series. Not Futurama, 20th Century Fox. Take it back and bring up the right logo. Volkswagen. Something is wrong. Yeah. That's why I sent the Volkswagen Logo out here. Something always goes wrong whenever Microsoft Sam shows up. You cheap sonofagun, this is not a *** flick. Get rid of the Volkswagen and bring up the 20th Century Fox Logo, or you'll be SOL. All right! Jeez Louise, you are such a grouch today! And my name is Microsoft Sam, not Jeez Louise. Calm down, Sam. You know he's trying as best he can. He's very trying, you buttwipe! You call me a buttwipe one more time, Sam, and I'll wipe your butt with a porcupine. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum! Microsoft Mike, why don't you accept the fact that you are a buttwipe and you can't change what you are because it's a fact you buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Sam? I'm okay, Mary. I just got so p--ed off at Mike for objecting to my calling him a buttwipe. Be a little more careful who you call a buttwipe, you sonofagun! Sky Zone Trampoline Park. I bounce on the trampoline. I bounce on the not trampoline. This is not a commercial. DreamWorks Animation SKG. I wonder if Alex the Lion meets Homer Simpson. I agree. What did I tell you about productions in an ident? Sorry, Sam, I was put the logo. Get that production outta here! Now!! And if you give me one more production, I'll take you to Universal Studios. Universal Studios? Eeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Spanning the globe to bring you all the highlights in the WiFi. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. You fool! This is not WiFi, this is 20th Century Fox. Get me the proper logo, or I'll give you the agony of defeat! Give me a break, Sam! I've been running back and forth so much, I'm already suffering the agony of de feet. De feet hurt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Ha ha ha ha" yourself. Very droll joke. Oh well. Since we mentioned food earlier, let's all take a lunch break. Cut! All right, what's the big idea? Tscha! This is supposed to be 20th Century Fox, isn't it? True, but the logo is supposed to display "1994," not "2020." Go back and change it. All right, all right! Picky, picky, picky! 20th Century Whirlpool? How loud do you think they are? AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Mary, you don't have to yell! Sheesh! And it's not Whirlpool, it's Fox! Change it now! Shush the sheesh, Sam! Dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy! Family Guy. They make strong movies, don't they? Not Family Guy... Fox. 20th Century Longhorn Steakhouse. One dose and you'll go 20th Century Fox. Fox! Fox! Fox! Sorry, wrong number. Gracie Films? Are we on "The Simpsons" all of a sudden? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You buttwipe! This is 1994, and "The Simpsons" doesn't come on until 1989. Correct the caption now, or I'll make you watch The Simpsons! Sam, Sam, Sam, why must you always turn a 20th Century Fox ID into your own personal sweatshop? Quit making insubordinate comments, you buttwipe! Tantrum coming on now. No no no no no no no no no no! Every time I try to calm Sam down, he acts like he's Genghis Khan! Well, I'm sick of this! Do you hear me? I'm sick of it! Sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun! [BOOM!] If I hear any more outbursts like that, it's over! No! No! No! Leap Frog did not exist in 1994! Go back and get it right! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Fisher Price does not own News Corporation nor does it own Fox! And that theme music doesn't come along until 2009! One more slip-up and it's the end! No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum! How dare you pair rival studio logos together! This is the end! I'm not doing any more 20th Century Fox! You're all fired! Do you hear me? F-I-R-E-D! Fired! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't even bother coming here expecting your jobs back, 'cause that's never gonna happen! Never never never never never! Judas Priest! What a temper! Anybody know of a good lawyer? We oughta sue Sam. If he thinks he'll get away with dumping us like this, he's got another thing coming. We'll get revenge on Sam one of these days. BUTTWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What's so funny, Mike? The 20th Century Fox logo's acting like a Cinemascope Picture! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cinemascope Pictures are fun. I wish I watched one when I was a kid. Enough with the Cinemascope Pictures. I'm getting dizzy. Outback Steakhouse has invaded 20th Century Fox! Looks like we're in for an invasion of sitcoms. Sam would have a royal fit if he saw this logo in an ident. Could you try to get the 20th Century Fox Logo back, please? Oops! Sorry, my bad. I'll see what I can do. Now it's Frederator Studios that's gone 20th Century Fox. I can hardly wait to see Homer Simpson being pals with The Fairly OddParents. Say good night, Frederator. Good night, Frederator. Who asked you? You're not funny and you're not Frederator! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Snee-Oosh did not take over News Corporation. What are you trying to pull? I just wanted to see what would happen if Homer Simpson met Hey Arnold. When Microsoft Sam gets back, he's gonna hear about this and he'll give you your just deserts, but good! Judas Priest! Sam was right about you, Mike! You really are a total buttwipe! Don't you start! I am not a buttwipe, you sonofagun! If Sam were here, Mike, he'd make you a member of the Liars' Club! Louis Vuitton in 20th Century Fox! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny! Change it! CVS Pharmacy. Must be rabbit season. Or maybe duck season. The hunter in the sky. Maybe he's looking for Ursa Major. Perhaps he'll find her near the North Star. Rite Aid? Rite Aid? This is a motion picture, not a kiddie book! Am-scray! Please, Mike, don't get all worked up over these bloopers like Sam does. That's none of your business, you dummy! Microsoft Mike! I won't have you calling me a dummy! Simmer down, Mary. At least he knows how I feel about these bloopers sometimes. Microsoft Sam! Back so soon? I never thought I'd say this, Sam, but thank God you've returned! So what brought you back here so soon? I took a detour and found myself in a bad place. I raced back here as fast as I could, but someone from that bad place is chasing me. And who's chasing you? So, Microsoft Sam! I've found you! Eek! It's the Devil! He's brought that Satan's Kingdom sign with him. Somebody do something! Protect me from this evil overseer of that infernal realm! Too late, Sam! You are condemned! Prepare for an eternity of pain! Oh no you don't, Satan! Take that! [BOOM!!] No no no no no no no no! Not that! Anything but that! Let me outta here! Eeee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Look at him run! He took one look at the God's Country sign and fled in terror! Sic semper evillis - thus always to evildoers. Well said, Sam. I must go now. Peace be with you. And also with you. It's great to have you back, Sam. We all missed you. And I missed you too. I have an idea: now that Sam's back, safe and sound, let's all go out for some pizza. Your RoflCopter is all set, Sam. All aboard! We're on our way to Pizza City! soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi All right! What are you, a comedian or something? What do you mean? The only thing that should in is the 1994, not 1929. So sue me! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Shishkabob! I'm warning you! All right, all right! Judas Priest! You really know how to make a guy feel like a buttwipe! Takes one to know one. Fox Film 1915. That's "Present." That's wrong! William Fox 1920. I love this logo so much! That's wrong. Get it right! You buttwipe! I am not a buttwipe! Liar! You are too! The logo "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" does not in. Only the 20th Century Fox Logo does, capeesh? I get it. Sonny with a Chance. I hope Conan's doing his Year 3000 routine tonight. Not Sonny with a Chance, News Corporation! Gravity Falls. This kid show is bossed by the bomb. I agree. If you mess with it, it might explode on you. [BOOM!!] I didn't mean it literally! Welcome to the club. This is not Nickelodeon! Get that SpongeBob SquarePants outta here! I kind of like SpongeBob SquarePants myself. Anna! What are you doing here? I heard you were having trouble with the 20th Century Fox logo, Sam, so I've come to help you out. Okay, Anna, I'll give you a chance. Anybody can do better than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! You are too! Oh bother! The captions are there, but not the searchlight. Don't worry, Anna. You'll get the hang of it sooner or later. I guess you're right, Sam. We'll try again later. I'm all for going out to lunch. Would you like to go Dutch? I think we've been in dutch already. You are so funny, Sam! [Anna laughing] All right, you buttwipe! What's the big idea? What do you mean? And why, in heaven's name, do you keep calling me a buttwipe? Because I can and I said so. Get that The Powerpuff Girls outta here and get me the 20th Century Fox Logo! Now!! Okay, you're the boss. And I am not a buttwipe! You are too a buttwipe and you know it! Buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Hannah Montana? Oh bother! We're all out of Hannah Montana. Don't worry, Mike. I'll buy some on the way home today. Where did Hannah Montana come from? And it's not Hannah Montana, it's 20th Century Fox! Get it right or I'll spray the Hannah Montana in your eyes! 20th Century Fox upside 75th Anniversary. Universal art will never die. What are you, a comedian or something? You said it's supposed to be "20th Century Fox." Yes, but not the 2010 20th Century Fox 75 Years logo. All right then, I'll get a concrete one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum! Why does he always do this to me? I'm sick and tired of all the bullcrum you give me! You buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm sorry, Anna. I just get so sick and tired of all the bullcrum Speakonia Male 1 gives me in these videos. It gets me so worked up and I'm always throwing tantrums. Don't worry, Sam. Just be calm like me. I'm as cool as the other side of the pillow. But not the pillow Sam drooled on last night. Sam drooled on the pillow? Gross! Eeewwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Levi's. Don't they distribute Strauss, Abby? They sure do, Beulah. Next they'll send in the commercial plug. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Speaking of commercial plugs, if you don't get me the proper logo--- Stop calling me a commercial plug! At least I didn't call him a buttwipe that time. Watch your mouth, you sonofagun! Look, it's Southwest Airlines. He's so good. I agree, Mary. I used to fly an airplane myself. Get that Southwest Airlines outta here or I'll sic on you! Take it easy, Sam. I was only joking. I don't even have an airport. How much does a net globe cost? I don't care. I'll give this dime-a-dozen bum one more chance. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Quaker. I used to eat oatmeals when I was a kid. I agree. Now you've done it! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't ever come back! And this time I mean it! Next time I see you I'll jam--- [BLEEP!] Sorry I had to do that, Sam, but I just had to calm you down. That's telling him, Anna. Should we go shopping? Good idea, Mary. I have Sam's credit card with me. Let's go! Hey, searchlight guy! Who, me? Yes, you! You got the logo upside down! Oh really? I thought this was My Life as a Teenage Robot. Not My Life as a Teenage Robot, News Corporation. Get it right! Nintendo. As in Nintendo Games. Those were the days. Breaker 19 for a game check. Negatory, good buddy. I say Negatory to this logo. It's 20th Century Fox, not Nintendo. 20th Century Fox! 20th Century Fox! 20th Century Fox! All right! Sheesh, you're such a buttwipe, Microsoft Sam! I'm not a buttwipe, you sonofagun! And shush the sheesh! High School Musical. I always wanted to Disney Channel. You're making me thirsty. Oh, wow! I could've had a High School Musical! D3 Publisher? D3 Publisher? I don't want D3 Publisher. I don't want it either, but if Sam got it on with me, I'd end up with D3 Publisher anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum! Microsoft Mary, you've got your nerve saying I give you D3 Publisher! I don't have D3 Publisher you dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm okay, Anna. I just get so p--ed off by cheap jokes about my abeiotic life. There, there, Sam. I used to feel that way, but then I got over it. If I can do it, so can you. Thanks. Now, let's see if the searchlight guy can get it right. My Gym Partner's a Monkey. How psychedelic. I love My Gym Partner's a Monkey. It's so real. Hey, searchlight guy! 20th Century Fox! You hear? 20th Century Fox! I wish you would call me by my proper name. I'm tired of being called "searchlight guy." If you don't display the proper logo, you'll be called an out-of-work earth guy. Up yours, buttwipe! I AM NOT A BUTTWIPE! Calm down, Sam. This too shall pass. Jaguar. Jaguar. What's new? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, searchlight guy! I have a riddle for you. Knock knock. Who's there? Ama Gana. Ama Gana who? Ama Gana fire you if you don't display the proper logo! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Sheesh! SHUSH THE SHEESH! Look, Mary. Someone whitewashed the Knorr. I love the Knorr Foods, but I also love to write dirty ones. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! SEARCHLIGHT GUY!! Uh-oh! I'd better vamoose! Come back here, searchlight guy! I hate you so much I wanna take that goddanged logo and beat your stupid-butt brains out! It's just human nature for me to hate guys that try to make my life a living heck--- ---especially dime-a-dozen bums like you. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR... Hey you! Who, me? Yes, you! What's the deal with this Maggie and the Ferocious Beast logo being here when this is supposed to be an ident? I thought this was going to be a Nelvana. This is not Nelvana! This is 20th Century Fox! Get me the 20th Century Fox Logo! Now! All right! Judas Priest, you're such a buttwipe! And stop calling me a buttwipe, you sonofagun! Regular Show? Why, they produced the old "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In." That show was comedy incarnate. I wish they'd bring it back. Was "Laugh-In" a funny show? You bet your sweet bippy it was! Sock it to me! If you don't bring up the 20th Century Fox logo I'll really sock it to you, but good! Adventure Time, as in long-playing record. At last, a long-playing logo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Not "Adventure Time" - "20th Century Fox." Ben 10. I used to live on Ben 10 when I was a kid. So did I. LH Michael and LH Michelle! You two are not allowed in this video! Get out! Out! O-U-T! Out! Hold it right there, Speakonia Male 1! Come back here! You called, Boss? Yes. I told you to bring up the 20th Century Fox logo. That's your job. Who's the jackbutt that let in all these inappropriate logos? I don't have to ask. It's you, Speakonia Male 1. What do you have to say for yourself? It wasn't me that kicked down the door, it was those crazy people, LH Michael and LH Michelle, that did it. They shouldn't have broken in here in the first place and I'm putting you on notice. Get the 20th Century Fox logo in here before closing time, or else! On notice? Me? Screw you, Sam, you buttwipe! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no! Goddang you, Speakonia Male 1! I'm sick and tired of your f-ing insubordination! If you keep screwing up the 20th Century Fox logo, you're fired! You hear me? Fired! You sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm all right, Anna. I just get so p-ed off at all these inappropriate logos invading the 20th Century Fox turf. Oh well, this too shall pass. Samsonite. I guess we'll next be visited by Samsonite. One more commercial plug in a 20th Century Fox ID and I'll slap you. Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Johnny Bravo. I guess Johnny Bravo will now start showing 20th Century Fox. Johnny Bravo presents Homer Simpson. Made possible with a grant from ACME Carrots. If I told you once, I've told you a gazillion times, it's "20th Century Fox!" Uncle Grandpa. It's official now: Uncle Grandpa and News Corporation have merged. I can see it now: Homer Simpson meets the characters of Uncle Grandpa. No, no, no, no, no! Uncle Grandpa did not merge with News Corporation! You have exactly one more chance to bring the 20th Century Fox logo in here, capeesh? Sam, you're becoming a real control freak! One more insubordinate comment like that and you're a dead man! Walt Disney Animation Studios. Time for an episode of Mickey Mouse. You two here again? I'm calling Security! And as for you, Speakonia Male 1, you know what this means? I don't get the company car you promised me? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!! Fired!? Fired!? I've got a wife, ten kids and three credit unions to support! If it takes every cent I have, Microsoft Sam, I'll sue your sorry butt so vengefully that one day you'll be working for me! Sure you will. When Heck freezes over! Don't despair, Sam. You still have the rest of us to back you all the way. I guess you're right, Anna. Let'*** the bar. It's happy hour. All the drinks are on me. Steven Universe. Can Brian Williams be far behind? Not really, Anna. I yearn for the days of the Huntley- Brinkley Report. Not a bad suggestion, RoboSoft 3. Cartoon Network. Easy as Boomerang. Simple as Hanna-Barbera. That's nice, but you forgot the squares to go with the logo. Whoops! Marvel. It must be time for watch the movie. Come and listen to my story about a movie named Spider-Man. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. No wonder they moved to Columbia Pictures. That Tobey Maguire's got his own cement pond. That Tobey Maguire is a millionaire. Any news on Sam yet? Sam won't give in. He still won't re-hire Speakonia Male 1. He's as stubborn as a Missouri mule. Look, Michelle, it's Barq's. Barq's are free. What country is this from? USA. It's the commercial plug company to The Coca-Cola Company. Now what is this? A Choice Hotels International. Hotels? I love hotels. Take it back. Now. What's the matter, Anna? Don't you like hotels any more? I love hotels. They make my face break out. Now I know where Anna slept last night. How's it going, hotel-face? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! [BOOM!!] Oh my goodness! You made my face break out! Sorry about that, Mary. I just don't like being called "hotel-face." Be careful next time. What you just did to me made me sick. Eeeeewwwww! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Game Cube? What's a game cube? Don't you know, Mike? You roll seven-come-eleven with them. Dice. The original game cubes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Omega. If you can cross over, we can drink the beer. Speakonia Male 1! You're back! We missed you. Back already, Speakonia Male 1? Where's Microsoft Sam? I can explain everything. You better explain it fast. I heard that Sam's looking for you. He's got the police looking for you too. Sam and the cops are after Speakonia Male 1? I thought you were holding him hostage. I was, but Sam grabbed the gun out of my hand and started shooting at me. I hot-footed it out of there, but Sam warned me never to come here or I'd be sorry. [Siren] Uh-oh! The fuzz! If Sam sees us here, we're dead! Hide us! Quick! Aha! I thought I'd find you here! Microsoft Sam! Give me another chance! And please stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle! Hah! That gay boy and his lesbian sister? I'm not a gay boy! And I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even from lesbas. Liars! Arrest them, Officer! On what charges? Criminal trespass, gross insubordination and mutiny. And make it a capital offense. Microsoft Sam! Are you out of your mind? Sorry, Anna, but justice has to be done. Officer, if you'll just hear me out for a second, I can explain everything. Go ahead. On my way in here, I stopped at the courthouse and filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against Sam. I also accused him of gross homophobia and being a control freak. This from you, a mutineer! Be quiet, Sam! Hear him out. Thanks. And not only that, I've secured a court injunction allowing LH Michael and LH Michelle to stay in these videos. Sam is never to hate them any more or call them homophobic names. All right. I won't arrest you, LH Michael or LH Michelle. And if Sam issues an apology, I won't press charges against him. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum! Foiled by a broken justice system! When will they ever learn who's in charge of things here? This is a travesty, you hear me? Travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty! [BOOM!!] Are you through, Sam? Yes, Officer. I'm sorry for the tantrum and all the trouble I've caused. Speakonia Male 1, you're re-hired. And as for LH Michael and LH Michelle, I promise never to hate you again. Can we continue with the 20th Century Fox logo, please? Go ahead. New Balance? In a 20th Century Fox ID? what next, Homer Simpson is wearing those shoes? Smart? Which Smart do they hail from? Kentucky? Virginia? Massachusetts? Nerdocrumbesia? Smart in Nerdocrumbesia? Just kidding, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy! Same old Sam. Always calls me a dummy every time I get the best of him. Don't worry, Mary. This too shall pass. And how about getting the logo right for a change? Roger. The name's Microsoft Sam, not Roger. Sorry. Well, it's an improvement. All we need to do is replace the 1935 with a 1994 and we'll be on Easy Street. Not to worry, I'll try again. Not just yet. It's been a trying day and I need to get a little rest. Let's take the rest of the week off. Works for me. Me too. It sure feels good to see you back, Sam. I missed you. I missed you too, Anna. I love you. And I love you too, Sam. [Anna] Sam? Where are you? [Mike] He said he'd be a little late coming in. [Mary] He's probably lecturing the Searchlight Guy. [Anna] Well, we might as well get started. [Anna] Nice to drop in, Sam. What are you doing atop the 20th Century Fox logo? [Mary] Great entrance, Sam. Are you auditioning to be Homer Simpson's stuntman? No, I'm not auditioning to be Homer Simpson's stuntman. I was telling the Searchlight Guy to get the proper logo in here and I wound up on top of it. [Anna] Sam, you look good riding the searchlight. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Searchlight Guy] I told you not to sit on the searchlight, Sam. [Sam] Now you tell me. Buttwipe! [Mary] Now where'd Mike go? [Sam] Mike, you buttwipe! Get off the searchlight! You're not Homer Simpson. Don't call me a buttwipe, you sonofagun! This searchlight is so pointy, it hurts to sit on it. Ouch! [Anna] I think Mike looks good atop the searchlight, but where's Mary? [Sam] She probably went to get a drink of water. Hey, this is fun! I could feel the breeze in my hair when I in. [Sam] Searchlight Guy! [Searchlight Guy] What's up, Sam? [Sam] Don't "What's up, Sam" me, you buttwipe! Tell Mary to get off the searchlight right now! Don't listen to Sam, Searchlight Guy. I love these searchlight rides. [Mike] I'm hip to you, Mary. [Sam] Microsoft Mike, stop encouraging people to do these crazy stunts! You are a certified first-class buttwipe! A buttwipe. you hear? A BUTTWIPE!!! [Mike] Microsoft Sam listen to me good: I AM NOT A BUTTWIPE! I NEVER WAS A BUTTWIPE! I'LL NEVER BE A BUTTWIPE AND I WANT YOU TO STOP CALLING ME A BUTTWIPE! YOU HEAR ME? STOP CALLING ME A BUTTWIPE YOU SONOFAGUN SONOFAGUN SONOFAGUN SONOFAGUN SONOFAGUN SONOFAGUN SONOFAGUN SONOFAGUN!! [BOOM!!] [Speakonia Male 2] Oh my goodness! Mike throws a tantrum in a 1994 20th Century Fox Logo Bloopers video? [Speakonia Male 3] Usually Sam throws tantrums in these videos. [Sam] Gad! What a temper! Anna? Where's Anna? Have you seen Anna? Here I am, Sam! Mary's right. This is fun! [Sam] Anna? You're riding the searchlight? Yeah, but I think Mike's right when he said it needs a little smoothing out. [Sam] I'm hip to that. Hey Searchlight Guy, have you been charging admission to let people ride the searchlight? [Searchlight Guy] Nope. I let them ride for free. After all, you started it, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Sam] Sheesh! [Abby] Hey Beulah, this is fun! I can see clear over to Albuquerque from here. [Beulah] I agree, Abby. We should remember to take that left turn there. [Sam] Two people riding the searchlight at the same time? [Mike] At least that'll make riding it smoother. Hey Michelle, this has Coney Island beat by a country mile. I agree, Michael. They should name this place the Chuck Jones Memorial Park. [Sam] SEARCHLIGHT GUY!! [Searchlight Guy] You bellowed, Sam? [Sam] Yes, I bellowed, Searchlight Guy. Did you let this gay boy and his lesbian sister in here again? Come on, Sam, give us a break. Stop hating us. We have as much a right to ride the searchlight as the rest of you. [Sam] I don't care! You're still not allowed in here! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! [Searchlight Guy] Microsoft Sam! You can't keep chasing LH Michael and LH Michelle as if they were prairie dogs! You'll turn into a hate criminal if you keep this up! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum! Why do you keep f-ing up my life, Searchlight Guy? LH Michael and LH Michelle are unauthorized personnel! I am not a hate criminal! You hear me? I am not a hate criminal you buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe! [BOOM!!] [Anna] Sam? Are you all right? [Sam] I'm all right, Anna. I just get so p-ed off at the Searchlight Guy for letting LH Michael and LH Michelle in here. He doesn't realize how much I hate their guts. [Anna] Don't be too rough on them, Sam. Just because they're different doesn't mean they're undesirable. As a personal favor, please give them a chance. Do this for me, okay? [Sam] Okay, Anna. I'll try, but it won't be easy. [Speakonia Male 2] Tag Heuer. [Mary] I love the Tag Heuer. He's so good. [Speakonia Male 3] What's up, watch? [Sam] If they try to sell me insurance again, it's watch soup. Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [LH Michael] Blizzard Entertainment. [LH Michelle] I love it. No work, all games. [Sam] Ix-nay on the ugs-game! [Searchlight Guy] Oy vey. [Searchlight Guy] Oops! I goofed again! I know I should be punished. Let me take off my trousers. [Speakonia Male 2] Don't bother. I think they've reached the limits on what *** probing can teach them. [Sam] Well, you're in the ballpark. This gives me an idea. Hand me the tools. Oh Sam! You are so gifted with tools. I'm glad you like it, Anna. I call it "The 20th Century Fox Logo-Mobile." I especially love these new seats. It's much more comfortable than sitting on the searchlight itself. It's almost lunch time. Wanna go Dutch? I'm one step ahead of you, Anna. All right. Hang on, here we go! [Beulah] Oh my goodness! That's a real fast machine Sam's got! I wish I could ride one of those. [Abby] So do I, but Sam's only built one. [Mary] Well, at least we know where they usually have lunch. [Mike] We can join them at the commissary. [Searchlight Guy] May I tag along? [Mike] Only if you ride your own searchlight! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Searchlight Guy] Oh bother. Quiet on the set. This is a take. Cue searchlight. I said cue searchlight, not Univision. [Searchlight Guy] Well, it does start with a "U". Looks like it's going to be one of those days. With Sam, every day is one of those days. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, you buttwipe! [Mike] How many times must I tell you, Sam? I am not a buttwipe! [Sam] Liar! You are too! He's not a buttwipe, Sam. Don't encourage him, you dummy! And get me the proper logo! [Earth Guy] Roger Wilco. MeTV. I used to know her in college. She must be Britney's sister. I'll spear your MeTV if you don't get me the proper logo! [Searchlight Guy] Don't get violent, Sam! [Speakonia Male 2] Cinar? What in the world is Cinar? [Speakonia Male 3] That's pronounced "Cinar." It's that logo that made Caillou famous. Benny Hill? Good show, lads. [Searchlight Guy] Oops! Yet another logo blooper. Ah yes. Bad show, lads. Hi, Sam. Are you having trouble with the 20th Century Fox logo again? Same old song and dance. Don't worry, Sam. Let's see what comes up next. Fatburger. That's near Fatburger, isn't it? The restaurant must smell like Teen Spirit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not the smell of Teen Spirit. Restaurants used for eating hamburgers, and that restaurant must have just relieved itself before coming here. You mean he just pooped? Sickening. Gross. Eeeeewwwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww! [Barfing] [Jingle singers] Ajax Laundry Detergent is stronger than dirt! Ajax, stronger than dirt. I thought the ghost of Jim Morrison of the Doors just came in. We can use that to clean up the bucket after someone gets sick in this studio. What did we tell you? No commercial plugs in an ident! Now let's get on the stick! Chupa Chups. It must be time for eating chips. Danger is his business! LH Michael and LH Michelle! What are you doing here? Take it easy on us, Sam. The cops warned you not to hate us again, remember? Sam, why must you insist on hating LH Michael and LH Michelle? For Pete's sake, be nice to them, okay? Get a hold of yourself, Sam. You've got to exhibit tolerance. Keep cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum! What in the blessed name of J.L. Fox is this world coming to when I have to tolerate people I feel like hating? It sucks, you hear me? It sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks! [BOOM!!] Calm down, Sam. They're just people like us. I'm sorry for acting that way, Anna. I guess I'm trapped in my old ways. [Anna] That's all right, Sam. You'll get over it soon. Shall we continue with the 20th Century Fox logo now? Great idea. Hey, Searchlight Guy! [Searchlight Guy] I know. I'll bring up the proper logo. [Searchlight Guy] How's this, Sam? [Sam] Well, it's an improvement, but we're using the 1994 logo version and this 20th Television logo is from 1989. [Searchlight Guy] Give me a break, Sam. It's been a trying day. [Sam] I know the feeling. Let's all take the rest of the day off. [Anna] I'm for taking the rest of the day off too, Sam. You need some rest. I'll be right beside you. [Sam] Thanks, Anna. [Mike] Looks like they're an item. [Mary] I knew they'd get along. Places, everyone! This is a take! Roll camera! Cue the searchlight! All right, Searchlight Guy! What are you, a comedian or something? [Searchlight Guy] You wanted the logo, you got the logo. Yeah, but you got the logo wrong. It should be "20th Century Fox," not "Hobby Lobby." Hobby Lobby. Hobby what? Hobby Lobby. I thought it meant "Hobby Lobby Stores." Shut up, you dummy! Tempur-Pedic? That's what I say! Tempur-Pedic is going on here? [Searchlight Guy] Oops! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Searchlight Guy. Get it right or I'll f--- you where the sun doesn't shine! [Earth Guy] Don't get dirty, Sam! Behr. I just love this paint so much. Not Behr, you buttwipe! 20th Century Fox! 20th Century Fox! 20th Century Fox! [Searchlight Guy] Quit calling me a buttwipe, you sonofagun! [Speakonia Male 2] MAACO. [Speakonia Male 3] When I was little, my family went to MAACO. Oh really? My family used to go to those auto repair stores a lot. Listen up, Searchlight Guy! You're supposed to bring up the 20th Century Fox logo and ONLY the 20th Century Fox logo! You hear me? [Searchlight Guy] And you listen to me, Sam! YouTube user BJ29035 demands that we include Looney Tunes Characters in a 1994 20th Century Fox Logo Bloopers video! And Emmanuel Llanos Paz says there would be copyright issues if we did that! National Tire and Battery, short for NTB. Programming research will never die. SEARCHLIGHT GUY!!! [Searchlight Guy] You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Searchlight Guy! Now pay attention! 20th Century Fox! 20th Century Fox! 20th as in Wisenheimer, Century Fox as in Blockhead! SEARCHLIGHT GUY, YO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OU'RE FIRED!!! [Searchlight Guy] Fired!? Fired!? Screw you, Microsoft Sam! I'm telling BJ29035 on you! Calm down, Sam. Emmanuel Llanos Paz is right. If we used the Looney Tunes Characters in one of these videos, News Corporation would hit him with a copyright strike. Gee, Anna, that makes me feel a lot better. Eek! It's the Devil and the She-Devil! You're right, Beulah. Grab hold of the nearest cross. [Devil] Chill out, babes. It's not you that we've come for. [She-Devil] We've come for Microsoft Sam. You infernal beasties! You dare invade a 1994 20th Century Fox Logo Bloopers video? We were having a lot of fun ourselves until you two evildoers showed up. We've got a good mind to call on God to drive you away. [Devil] We have a message to deliver to all of you. [She-Devil] Since Emmanuel Llanos Paz refuses to include Looney Tunes Characters in these videos, we claim Microsoft Sam's soul. Get thee behind me, Devil and She-Devil! Emmanuel Llanos Paz won't do it because he might get a copyright strike against him. [Devil] BJ29035 says that's all bullcrum. [She-Devil] If Emmanuel Llanos Paz still refuses to include Looney Tunes Characters, we will poop all over you. That's far enough, Devil and She-Devil! Get out of here right now, or I invoke the wrath of God! [Devil] Scandalous! Shall we let them have it? [She-Devil] Let's do it. Bombs away! [PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP] Gugh! Not again! Eeeeewwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwww! [Barfing] You filthy animals! Eeeewwwwwww! Eeeeeewwwwwwww! [Barfing] You'll pay for this, Devil and She-Devil! Eeeeeeewwwwwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! [Barfing] Jiminy Christmas! All over my best dress! Eeewwww! Eeeeewwwwwww! [Barfing] [Devil] Look at them, covered in poop! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [She-Devil] They're so sick they can hardly move! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You've gone too far, you infernal imps! Take that! [BOOM!!] [Voice of God] All right, Devil and She-Devil! Now you get yours! [Devil] Not the cleaning again! [She-Devil] We can't stand having our butts cleaned! [Voice of God] Take that, dirty creatures! [Devil] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! [She-Devil] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Thanks again, Angel. We're cleaned up and feeling better. And we're glad those infernal goons are getting their come-uppance. A-men! You're welcome. [Searchlight Guy] Oh no! Not again! I know I should be punished. Don't worry. When that Devil and She-Devil let loose on me, I regretted letting you go. You're re-hired, Searchlight Guy. [Searchlight Guy] Thanks. [Anna] This is Microsoft Anna with a follow-up report on the mix-up that just took place. The Devil and She-Devil have gotten their come-uppance. And Emmanuel Llanos Paz need not worry about BJ29035 abusing him for not using Looney Tunes Characters. Emmanuel's right about the copyright issues, BJ is wrong, and let's let it go at that. Keep watching this channel for future 1994 20th Century Fox Logo Bloopers videos. Hey, Searchlight Guy! [Searchlight Guy] You called, Sam? What's the big idea with the Commercial Land logo? You're in the movies, not commercial. Change it now! [Searchlight Guy] Surely you can't be serious. [Sam] I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. California Closets. Tonight's shop: Clothes of everything. I agree. 20th Century Fox, not California Closets. Get me? [Searchlight Guy] Sorry about that, Chief. Gold's Gym. Good morning, Gold's Gym. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to hunt down the fitness. What's with the commercial plug titles? You're supposed to have the 20th Century Fox logo in, you dig? [Searchlight Guy] This logo will self-destruct in five seconds. [Ticking] [BOOM!!] [Sam] Buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe buttwipe! [Speakonia Male 2] It's RE/MAX. [Speakonia Male 3] Tonight, RE/MAX is a real estate company. I've always admired homes. Real estate was my favorite. And if you don't bring up the 20th Century Fox logo, it will be the Case of the Missing Searchlight Guy. [Searchlight Guy] Sheesh! [Sam] And shush the sheesh! Gymboree. That's nice. I agree. You two again!? Get out! Out! Oh, come on, Sam! Give us a break! We're not undesirables just because we're different. God did not put me on this Earth to tolerate gay boys like LH Michael and lesbians like LH Michelle! Get out, before I THROW you out! Microsoft Sam! I won't stand for any more of your bigotry! Accept them and be done with it, capeesh? I don't need a lecture from you, Fatso! I said stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle! And don't ever call me "Fatso!" [CRASH!] Ouch! My ribcage! My spine! Owww! Planet Fitness. Now let's go to a fitness center. Hey, Planet Fitness is fun. Hey, Searchlight Guy... IT'S NOT PLANET FITNESS, YOU BUTTWIPE, IT'S NEWS CORPORATION! [Searchlight Guy] Okay, Sam. If you're gonna be a sonofagun, I'm gonna give it to you good! Oh my goodness! Do you see what I see? It's the Viacom V of Doom, the Screen Gems S from Heck, and the B-Backwards-N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam! Oh my gosh! Sam's having a heart attack! Call 9-1-1! Oh...where am I? This doesn't look like the studio. What is this place? [VID (B-Backwards N-D) MUSIC] Oh my goodness! Am I really in Satan's Kingdom? Yes, Microsoft Sam. And this time, you really DIED! And now that you're dead, you belong to us... ...forever! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! God, save me! You heard him, Satan! Let Sam go! And who's gonna make me? [Voice of God] I will, you infernal hound dogs! Bring Sam back to life! NOW!! Go away, interferer! Sam is MINE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [Mary] He's coming to, Anna. Oh...where am I? Relax, Sam. You're in a hospital bed. The doctor said you had a mild heart attack. You're going to be okay. That's a relief. I had a vision in which I met the Devil and the She-Devil in Satan's Kingdom. I called for God and the Angel to save me, but the Devil stabbed me in the gut with his pitchfork! Ouch! There, there, Sam. You probably had a bad dream. And how are things at the studio? Just fine. They're still trying to get the 20th Century Fox logo correct. That's not the 20th Century Fox logo. It's the Television from the Paramount Blue Mountain logo. That's right. That Blue Mountain keeps abusing me, and he keeps lying about it. If the Television came here, I wonder where the 20th Century Fox logo could be. [20th Century Fox Logo] Would you like me to buy you a drink, Blue Mountain? [Blue Mountain] Let'*** the bars. The night is ours. Quiet on the set! Roll camera! Cue searchlight! [Sam] Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Searchlight Guy] What's so dang funny, Sam? You got not one searchlight up there, but two! [Searchlight Guy] I've been experimenting with DNA. Do your cloning on your own time. Now get it right! Three searchlights. Next they'll show the Three Stooges. Soitenly! Nyuk-nyuk! Now that's three logos to the wind. It's supposed to be one searchlight, not three. [Searchlight Guy] My assistant researcher is very fertile. One, two, three, four. Four 20th Century Fox searchlight logos. Have you got any more? [Speakonia Male 2] Looks like a four-leaf clover. [Speakonia Male 3] I'm looking over a four-leaf clover that I overlooked before. You buttwipe, Searchlight Guy! There is supposed to be only one logo in! Do you hear me? One! [Searchlight Guy] You're no fun any more, Microsoft Sam! Red searchlight, no captions. I prefer a blue shield, thank you. And just what are you two doing here? Sam, you have no reason to hate us. Just because we're different doesn't give you the right to call us undesirable. I am going to say this once, and only once. WHAT PART OF "EVIL MORONS" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? Microsoft Sam! What part of "hate criminal" don't you understand? If you don't stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle, your *** is grass! Do you hear me? Shut up, Fatso! And stop calling me "Fatso!" [CRASH!] Security!! Calm down, Sam. If only you were a little more tolerant of LH Michael and LH Michelle, this wouldn't have happened to you. I'm sorry, Abby, but you just have to face the truth at some point. And how about some captions for the searchlight? [Searchlight Guy] Sure thing, Baldy. [Sam] And don't call me "Baldy!" SEARCHLIGHT GUY!! [Searchlight Guy] You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Searchlight Guy! Where's the searchlight? [Searchlight Guy] You said you wanted some captions, so I gave you some captions. I want to see some captions with the searchlights, you hear? The captions with the searchlights! [Searchlight Guy] All right, all right! Sheesh, you're such a buttwipe! [Voices singing] SEGA. Not SEGA! 20th Century Fox, you hear? 20th Century Fox! Calm down, Sam. You know he's trying. Yes, Anna. He's trying, all right--- very trying. They're playing my song! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey Searchlight Guy, could you display the words "Looney Tunes" as well? [Searchlight Guy] Sure, Mike. I've got a zillion of them. Don't encourage him, Mike. I'm in charge here. [Sam] And give me the proper logo this time, or your butt is grass! SEARCHLIGHT GUY!! [Searchlight Guy] Uh-oh! I'd better vamoose! Come back here, you coward! [Sam] Gotcha, Searchlight Guy! Now you're getting the punishment you deserve! [Searchlight Guy] What're you gonna do to me, you sonofagun? This! [RIP!!] Ouch! You mutilator! You should have thought of that before you started messing up the logo. Calm down, Sam! You know Emmanuel Llanos Paz disapproves of your abusing the Searchlight Guy, not to mention your loathing of LH Michael and LH Michelle. Let them be, and be done with it. She's right, Sam. Don't let it upset you. Remain calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum!! It's my 1994 20th Century Fox logo and I can do what I dang well please! I don't need anyone like that f-ing Searchlight Guy or those morons LH Michael and LH Michelle whom I demand that the Devil torment forever! This sucks, you hear me? Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks!! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I guess so, Anna. I'm sorry I acted that way. I guess I'm too set in my ways. [Anna] There, there, Sam. Everything will be okay. Shall we continue with the 20th Century Fox logo now? [Sam] Good idea. Hey Searchlight Guy! [Searchlight Guy] I'm one step ahead of you. Jeez, now I know what a eunuch feels like. If this is Mars Inc., I wonder if there's a chocolate as well. Chocolates, oh my! [Searchlight Guy] Oops, wrong logo again. I do hate shabby work. [Sam] And so do I. Hey! What's going on? We're shutting down, Sam. They cut the budget in half because the tantrums you and your friends threw caused a 400-percent spike in energy bills. And it's just after curfew. You coming, Mary? I'm right behind you, Mike. [Anna] Are you ready, Sam? [Sam] I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Anna. [Anna] Okay. Here we go! Hey, Searchlight Guy! [Searchlight Guy] You called, Sam? What's with the Merck logo? This is supposed to be 20th Century Fox. Bring me the logo! [Searchlight Guy] Sorry. Heinz? What in the heck is Heinz? It's a food processing company, Mike! Hey, Heinz is fun! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is not Heinz. This is News Corporation. Get it right! [Searchlight Guy] Sam, you're really acting finicky today. [Sam] Shut up, you buttwipe! [Searchlight Guy] Don't you call me a buttwipe, you sonofagun! The North Face? That's nice! I agree. Neither did I. Get me the logo, and be quiet! They call him Golden Corral. Golden Corral, faster than lightning. No one you see is smarter than he. You two again? You don't seem to face facts, do you? Sam, Sam, Sam. Stop being such a hater! We have as much a right to be in these videos as the rest of you. I have no desire to be friends with people whom I know for a fact are evil. Get out! It's no good to vent out wanton hate against a person just because he or she is different. We are not evil. Accept us and be done with it. What's the worst that can happen to you? What's the worst that can happen to me? GOD WOULD HATE ME FOR ACCEPTING YOU!! Microsoft Sam! Stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle at once! You know that God is very forgiving. I don't dabble in heresy, Fatso! Stop calling me "Fatso!" All right! Sheesh! You don't have to throw me around the studio like a beanbag! I'm not throwing you around like a beanbag this time. Then what are you gonna do to me? [Beulah] This! [RIP!!!] {Sam] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Why did you just give me a wedgie? It's your just punishment for hating LH Michael and LH Michelle. And if you do that once more, I'll throw you into Satan's Kingdom! Do you hear me? Stop hating them! Beulah, you frighten me more than the V of Doom, the S from Heck, and the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang rolled into one. And as for you, Searchlight Guy... [Searchlight Guy] You don't have to remind me. Jeez, what a bigot! [Speakonia Male 2] Fazoli's? [Speakonia Male 3] Fazoli's, come home! Searchlight Guy, you must be a real restaurant to keep messing up the logos like this. Now get it right or I'll put you on a leash! [Searchlight Guy] On a leash? Sheesh! [Sam] And shush the sheesh! I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. I love it. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is a margarine company! Enough with the animal shows. No more dolphins, and no more commercial plugs. I want the 20th Century Fox logo and ONLY, ONLY the 20th Century Fox logo, you dig? Take it easy, Sam. Anna and I happen to be commercial plug lovers. I love all commercial plugs. I got thrown from one once. I didn't know Mary was that strong! Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Stay calm, Mary. Relax. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on. Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Microsoft sam, how dare you call me a commercial plug! You should be tied to a post yourself you moron moron moron moron moron moron moron moron! [BOOM!!] Jeez Louise! Now Mary's thrown a tantrum in a 1994 20th Century Fox Logo Bloopers video! Are you all right, Mary? I'm okay, Abby. I hope Sam apologizes for calling me a horse. All right, Mary, I'm sorry for calling you a commercial plug. And Beulah, I promise to never, ever call you "Fatso" again... ...especially since I need to lose weight myself. Well, Sam, it takes one to know one! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Denny's. That's where I used to hang out. SEARCHLIGHT GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Searchlight Guy! I want the 20th Century Fox logo, you hear me? 20th Century Fox! NOW!! Carrabba's Italian Grill. Carrabba's Italian Grill on the wall. All right! Enough is enough! Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the Windows! Not again, Sam! And that goes for you too, Beulah! [Sam] Out! Out! All of you! OUT!!! [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [ZOOM] [CRASH!] Microsoft Sam! Are you out of your mind? [Sam] And as for you, Searchlight Guy... [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [Sam] You're fired! And I'm calling the cops! Now this time, let's get it right. And remind me to get a lawyer who'll help me win a case for once. "Famous Dave's?" "Famous Dave's?" That's wrong. It should read "20th Century Fox," not "Famous Dave's." [Searchlight Guy] Oops! [Searchlight Guy] How's this, boss? Almost there, Searchlight Guy. All we need to do is remove the Television text and we're on Easy Street. Well said, Sam. And I'm glad you've come to your senses about us. Are you convinced now that it's no good to hate us just because we're different from you? LH Michael, LH Michelle and Beulah, you know it and I know it, but what would God think of me now? I'm sure He'd forgive you. And I forgive you too, Sam. I was that way once, but things are different now. They sure are. [Searchlight Guy] I'll get the shield corrected. [Sam] Well, not just yet, Searchlight Guy. I've been through a lot of heck today and I can use a little rest. Let's take the rest of the day off. [Mike] I agree with you, Sam. Are you coming, Mary? [Mary] I'm coming, Mike. [Anna] And I'm glad to see you've wised up about LH Michael and LH Michelle, Sam. [Sam] I agree, Anna. I've certainly learned my lesson. Let's head for the bar. The drinks are on me. All right, let's get this show on the road. Roll camera. Cue the logo. Searchlight Guy! You called me Sam? I didn't call you Sam. I'm Sam, you're the Searchlight Guy. I addressed you with my question, Sam. Just joking. Do you know what you just logo into the frame? [Searchlight Guy] You mean this? Yes, that. It's supposed to be the 20th Century Fox logo, not "That's all Folks!" from Looney Tunes. If you want it done right, YOU do it! I'm quitting! Searchlight Guy, you come back here! Leave him alone, Sam. LH Michelle and I can handle the logo. All right, LH Michael. Anyone can be better than that dime-a-dozen bum. He's not a dime-a-dozen bum, Sam. Hot Wheels? What's a Hot Wheels? A Mattel toy? Yes. I agree. I'll bet that's what the Searchlight Guy thinks of Sam. And after Sam fired him, that Searchlight Guy still thinks Sam's a Hot Wheels. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's not that funny, you two. Besides, I didn't fire him. He quit. Barbie? Do they mean "Barbie Toys?" That's the name of those toys from years ago. Toys? Sounds like a classical music drama set in the shower. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Toys are for Butt-Wipes. That's what Microsoft Mike is, was and always will be, no matter how many times he denies it. He can't run away from what he is. Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Take it easy, Mike. He's only kidding. Stay cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on now. No no no no no no no no dangit dangit dangit dangit! Microsoft Sam, how many times do I have to tell you? I am not an f--ing buttwipe! I never was one, nor will I ever be one and I want you to cease and desist calling me a liar every time I deny being a buttwipe! You hear me? Sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun sonofagun! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Mike? I'm okay, Mary. Jeez Louise, Mike! Why must you get so upset over something as trivial as name-calling? See, Mike? Sam admitted it was trivial. Good. Let's get the logo right. [Speakonia Male 2] Reader Rabbit. I'd like to open an account here. Where do I see the teller? [Speakonia Male 3] There's no teller here. This is First National Pictures, not Reader Rabbit. Anybody know where the Searchlight Guy is? I haven't the foggiest idea, Sam. If I know the Searchlight Guy, he probably got a job at Reader Rabbit. I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled a bank job. Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Mattel Interactive? I never heard of them. Don't worry, Mary. You know the old saying: "And the last shall be first." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Alvy Adair, FBI. Do you have a man reported missing who answers to the name "Searchlight Guy?" Yes. The Searchlight Guy says he quit, but I turned down his resignation. Therefore, he's playing hooky from work. We have no criminal record on him, so we referred your case to the CIA. The CIA? Cedric Shmendrick, CIA. We have found the missing man known as the Searchlight Guy and have returned him to you. Do you wish to press charges? He's my employee. I'll handle him. All right, he's yours. Sam, why didn't you accept my resignation? Because, Searchlight Guy, you didn't submit it to me in writing. That's why I had the FBI and the CIA coming after you. And also because you're a dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! You are too a dime-a-dozen bum! [Searchlight Guy] I am not! [Sam] You are too! [Searchlight Guy] I am NOT!! [Sam] You are TOO!! [Searchlight Guy] I AM NOT!!! [Sam] YOU ARE TOO!!! Will you two please stop fighting!! Shut up, buttwipe! [Mike] I am not a buttwipe and don't ever call me a liar for denying ever being one! You tell him, Microsoft Mike! Don't be a mutineer, Searchlight Guy! [Searchlight Guy] Mutineer, huh? Well, try this on for size, you slave- driving control freak! FU? What's FU? They should have put a MANCHU on the logo as well. Then it would be "FU MANCHU!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! SEARCHLIGHT GUY!!! YOU NOODGE! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF? [Searchlight Guy] Only what's on the logo: F-U! YOU DON'T SAY "F-U" TO YOUR BOSS! THAT'S INSUBORDINATION! GET ME THE 20TH CENTURY FOX LOGO NOW, OR I'LL SEND YOU TO SATAN'S KINGDOM! YOU HEAR ME? 20TH CENTURY FOX! NOT F-U, BARBIE OR HOT WHEELS!! 20TH CENTURY FOX!! NOW!!! [Searchlight Guy] All right, Microsoft Sam! You want the 20th Century Fox logo, you got the 20th Century Fox logo! Here it is! [CRASH!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam. That Searchlight Guy! We'll have to get Sam to the hospital, Anna. And I'll be at his side. I don't want to lose him. I want that dime-a-dozen bum hanged to the nearest tree! Searchlight Guy, you have a visitor to see you. I'll be glad to see a human face. Searchlight Guy, it's me. Beulah. Beulah! Am I glad to see you! I've sprung you, Searchlight Guy. I'll take you home. [Searchlight Guy] How's Sam? I hope I didn't destroy him when I threw that 20th Century Fox logo at him. [Beulah] He's doing fine. Anna called me from the hospital to say that Sam's dropping the charges against you if you apologize to him. [Searchlight Guy] Good. Let's go to the hospital so I can apologize to him. Hey, Searchlight Guy! You called, Sam? Did we just get a different logo version? I thought they'd look brighter. Good thinking, my boy. Looks like that Earth Guy's jumped the gun. I agree. He sent the "Looney Tunes" title in an ident. Homer Simpson meets Bugs Bunny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ease up on the Searchlight Guy, Anna. He's trying to do good after being sprung from jail. I understand, Sam. Let's give him a chance. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Searchlight Guy, you've done it again! The caption in the ident! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Searchlight Guy. But I think Beulah's right--- it's very funny! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That joke is so old. Well? Well what? Where's the 1994? I think something's fishy here. I agree with you, LH Michelle, but give the poor boy some slack. Remember, he's trying to make his own way in the world. You tell her, Sam. [Speakonia Male 2] Fox Film 1918? [Speakonia Male 3] Must be a new kind of birthday present for the younger set. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! All right, Searchlight Guy! Are you trying to make a buttwipe out of me? You said get the 20th Century Fox logo in before the captions. That's right, but I meant getting the 20th Century Fox logo searchlight in first. Then the captions appearing should read "20th Century Fox" and "A News Corporation Company." Do you understand me? Roger Wilco. [Sam] I wish he'd call me by my proper name. SEARCHLIGHT GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Searchlight Guy! Do you work for Columbia TriStar Home Video? I should say not. Then why the heck did you put a Columbia TriStar Home Video caption up when this is supposed to be News Corporation? Microsoft Sam! Please do not be too rough on the Searchlight Guy! You know I'm the one who bailed him out of jail after he hit you with the logo! If you abuse him, you'll feel my wrath! Understand me? You tell him, Beulah! You keep out of this, you buttwipe! And you'd better stop dating him if you know what's good for you, Fatso! Listen, Sam! The Searchlight Guy and I love each other and I want you to stop objecting to it! And never call me "Fatso" again! All right, all right! I know when I'm licked. But you and the Searchlight Guy better toe the line, or else! Remember who's in charge here. Roxi. The clothing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I had another dream about clothes. It wasn't as frightning as the ones before. Bruce Cockburn, 1980. This is not Roxi; this is News Corporation. Either you put the 20th Century Fox logo or put the Fox Searchlight Pictures logo up, capeesh? [Searchlight Guy] Picky, picky, picky. Jim Henson Productions? I'd say Homer Simpson would bring on The Muppets as a special guest if Fraggle Rock haven't ****. Fraggle Rock is not dead. The story they planted in the tabloids a couple of years ago was just a hoax. SEARCHLIGHT GUY!!! Oh my goodness, Sam! I don't know who's been giving me the wrong logo, but it's not my f-ing fault, you slave-driving control freak! ONE MORE INSUBORDINATE COMMENT LIKE THAT AND OUT YOU GO!! PERMANENTLY!! YOU HEAR ME? Take it easy, Searchlight Guy. Sam's just having a bad day. Don't let it bother you. Relax. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum is coming on. No no no no no no no no dang dang dang dang crum crum crum crum!! I just got out of jail and now you're threatening to throw me back in!! I don't have to take this bullcrum from buttwipes like you, and if you fire me, I'll kill myself!! You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Searchlight Guy? I'm okay, Beulah. If you two can put aside this sympathy, we've got a picture to start. I know exactly what to do, Sam. Oh no! No! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [Bawling] Why? Why? Why? That Searchlight guy's ruined me! I'm ruined! RUINED!! There, there, Sam. It's not the end of the world. You're right, Anna. This isn't the end of the world... BUT IT'S THE END OF THE SEARCHLIGHT GUY'S CAREER!! SEARCHLIGHT GUY, YO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OU'RE FIRED! OUT YOU GO! OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT!! Oh no you don't, Microsoft Sam! You re-hire my boyfriend right now! Never! You stay away from that dime-a-dozen bum forever! You hear me? Stay away from him forever! That's the last straw, Microsoft Sam! You're becoming too much of a tyrant for all of us! [Beulah] Out you go! [ZOOM!] [CRASH!] [Sam] This is mutiny! I'm calling the police! How's Sam doing? Just fine, Anna. He'll be back in a matter of days. I hope he'll be in a good mood when he returns. He will be. Let's get on with the picture. [BUZZER] Uh-oh! The titles are out of order. Looks like we have the rest of the day to ourselves. Who could have screwed up the titles like that? I haven't the foggiest idea, Mike. I think I know who it was. Sam rigged the system so it wouldn't work right until he returns. Let's all take the rest of the day off. [Sam] This is Microsoft Sam with a confession. I've always been a perfectionist. I'm sorry for the way I acted and for trying to break Beulah and the Searchlight Guy up. The Searchlight Guy and Beulah are not mutineers, and the Searchlight Guy is re-hired... ...at least for the time being. Sam? Sam? Has anybody seen Sam? He's lecturing the Searchlight Guy. Something about Sam's recent psychiatric treatment. I'm all right now. I just get so p--ed off over the least little things. Ready, Searchlight Guy? Ready, Sam. [Sam] Roll it! Swarovski? I can see it now: Homer Simpson meets the jewelry store. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What does Swarovski have to do with 20th Century Fox? Nothing that I know of. Carhartt. Looks like we're in for a spell of bad weather. He'd better start building his ark and bringing all the clothes in. Carhartt! Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! If he got a section of a circle, it would be Carhartt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Speakonia Male 2] FedEx. [Speakonia Male 3] Mail meets Homer Simpson. Oh noes! It's the V of Doom! Get it outta here! Calm down, Sam. You know the Searchlight Guy has no intention of scaring you to death. SEARCHLIGHT GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Searchlight Guy! Are you trying to scare me to death? I'm doing nothing of the kind! He's only human, Sam. Shut up, you buttwipe! [Mike] Stop calling me a buttwipe! You tell him, Mike! Don't defend a guy who's an out-and-out liar, you dummy! [Mary] Stop calling me a dummy! You and Mike accept the truth and be done with it! He's a buttwipe and you're a dummy! You hear me? Accept it! It's the truth! Truth truth truth truth truth! Stay calm, Mary. Sam's just being delusional. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on. Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Microsoft Sam, you know I'm not a dummy and Mike's not a buttwipe! Stop deluding yourself into thinking it's the truth when it isn't! You hear me? You moron moron moron moron moron moron moron moron!! [BOOM!!] Mary! Are you all right? I hope you're not too shaken up. I'm okay. It's just that Sam's delusions just ticed me off. I'm sorry, Mary, but that's just the way I am. I understand, Sam. Let her recover before you say anything more to her. If you don't mind, Sam, I'd like to get this 20th Century Fox logo started. Go to it, Searchlight Guy! Oh noes! Not the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Microsoft Sam, I've come for your soul! You'll never take me alive! Never! If you want Sam, you'll have to get me first! Get away, interferer, or you'll get the pain I'm going to give Sam! That's far enough, Mask of Guo Jiang! Now you're going to get yours! Take that! [BOOM!!] Did you see that, Abby? Anna knocked the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang out with laser beams from her eyes! Well, that's one less scary logo to worry about! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Anna] You have nothing to worry about, Sam. The Mask will never bother you again. [Sam] That's a relief. Jos. A. Bank? Does Jos. A. Bank work for News Corporation? No. "Xof yrutnec ht02?" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You got 20th Century Fox spelled backwards! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Uh-oh! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Searchlight Guy. Let's try it again. "N-O-I-T-A-R-O-P-R-O-C S-W-E-N?" That Searchlight Guy's working with mirrors again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh noes! Not again! Give me another chance, Sam! Well... all right. You talked me into it. Oops! I forgot to not put the words of Looney Tunes! Well, isn't that rich! He got the logo right and the "That's all Folks!" and he finds that Sam forgot to bring the words of Looney Tunes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey Searchlight Guy, whatta you say we get a bite to eat for lunch? Great idea, Beulah. The tab's on me. [Anna] Beulah has the right idea. It's almost lunch time, Sam. Wanna come with me? [Sam] I'm with you, Anna. [Mike] Are you coming along, Mary? [Mary] Lead the way, Mike. As long as the Searchlight Guy's buying for all of us. [Searchlight Guy] Oh bother! Places, everybody! Quiet on the set! We need to get this 20th Century Fox logo right this time or Mr. Fox will be furious! I am furious yellow. Not "curious," Searchlight Guy... "furious." He means Mr. Fox will be very angry. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry. Because when Mr. Fox is angry, heads usually roll. I've never seen a person's head roll. I never hope to see one. But you know what's at stake here. You'd rather see one than be one. Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Well, I might as well get this 20th Century Fox ID started up. Is that the usual 20th Century Fox logo? All I know is that Sam said to bring the logo in here. Yes, but it's the wrong logo. It's supposed to be the one from 1994, not 2020. Look, Sam, a 20th Century Fox logo is a 20th Century Fox logo. If you want to get technical... I see your point, Searchlight Guy. Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! What's so dang funny? What you said a while ago. "I am furious yellow!" Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Announcer] You can be sure... ...if it's Westinghouse. Westinghouse. They used to make great appliances years ago. Speak for yourself, LH Michael. I grew up in a General Electric family myself. SEARCHLIGHT GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Searchlight Guy! What did I tell you about commerical plugs in an ident? Next time you do that, I'm telling Mr. Fox on you! Sorry about that. I didn't know he was watching. SEARCHLIGHT GUY, YO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OU'RE FIRED!!! Fired!? Fired!? You can't do this to me, Sam! I'm filing a wrongful termination lawsuit against you! [Sam] It won't do you any good, Searchlight Guy! I'll tell Mr. Fox your ouster is justified! [Sam] Get out and stay out! [ZOOM] [CRASH!] Microsoft Sam! Are you out of what's left of your brains? Bring the Searchlight Guy back here now! Never! And that's final! Don't you dare upset Beulah, Sam! You know she loves the Searchlight Guy. Besides, who's going to operate the logo? Anybody can do better than that dime-a-dozen bum! [Speakonia Male 2] Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Do you realize you're making Mr. Fox angry at you for firing the Searchlight Guy without cause? [Speakonia Male 3] We can't operate the logo as effectively as he can. [Sam] Just do it! [Speakonia Male 3] Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! This isn't Fruit of the Loom. Mr. Fox will have a royal fit if he saw this in an ident! Get it right! Microsoft Anna speaking. Who? Yes, he's here. It's for you, Sam. All right, what do you want? Who? Mr. Fox? Bring back the Searchlight Guy? But he keeps messing up the 20th Century Fox ID! Don't you realize he keeps making a buttwipe out of me? What? You wouldn't! Oh, you would. Okay, I'll do it. What did he say, Sam? Mr. Fox says if I don't re-hire the Searchlight Guy, he'll come over here and nail me to the logo. So, just bring him back. Yeah, Sam. There's no sense in hating him. They're right, Sam. No sense getting worked up over it. Remain calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DANG DANG DANG DANG CRUM CRUM CRUM CRUM! I NEVER GET MY WAY AROUND HERE ANYMORE WITH THE BIG BOSS ON MY BUTT FOR FIRING THE SEARCHLIGHT GUY! WELL I SAY THE SEARCHLIGHT GUY'S A DIME-A-DOZEN BUM! YOU HEAR ME, MR. FOX? HE'S A BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM!! [BOOM!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? I'm okay. I just had to put my two cents in somehow. [Anna] There, there, Sam. I'll go and get the Searchlight Guy for you. Do you want to continue trying to get the 20th Century Fox logo done right? You bet I do! Oh noes! Not the Klasky-Csupo Robot! He's even worse than that B-Backwards-N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Well, here we go again. Time to save Sam from yet another scary logo. Get away, interferer! Sam is mine and you can't have him! Stay away, you idiot! That is an insult! I am not a idiot! For this you're gonna get it! Take that! [BOOM!!] Thanks, Anna. You've saved my life again. You're welcome, Sam. It's a special power I acquired after I was abducted by aliens a few years ago. Anna was abducted by aliens and they gave her the power to fry out scary logos with her eyes? I didn't know that! Searchlight Guy! You're back! I missed you! I missed you too. Right now I have a job to do. Oops! Methinks I goofed again! Youthinks right, Searchlight Guy. However, I won't punish you this time because Mr. Fox would impale me on the logo if I did. Sheesh! If he did that to you, I'd get worse treatment. I don't think so. He's just making sure Sam knows who's in charge. I couldn't have said it better. Mr. Fox says don't worry about what happened during Sam's tantrum. He'll pay for the damage... ...out of Sam's salary. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cheapskate! [BUZZER] Oh my goodness! Look at the time! Five minutes before clocking-out time and we still haven't gotten it right. If we don't get the 20th Century Fox logo right, Mr. Fox says he'll take no prisoners! That means we only have one more chance! You said it, Searchlight Guy! All right! We did it right! And with only two minutes to spare. See, Sam? I told you I'd get it right one of these days. [Anna] I knew we'd do it! I love you, Sam! [Sam] I love you too, Anna! [Beulah] It sure feels good knowing we've finally done something right. [Abby] I agree, Beulah. You know that old saying: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." [Searchlight Guy] To think it took us 28 episodes to get the 20th Century Fox logo right. [Mike] This calls for a celebration. [Mary] I agree. The biggest wrap party in the history of show biz. [Sam] With the Searchlight Guy buying every round of drinks for the whole gang! Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Searchlight Guy] Oh bother!