Career Suicide (Zayn Malik)

[[File:Career Suicide (Zayn Malik) - A Dose of Buckley|thumb|right|335 px|Buckley takes a look at an interview conducted with Zayn Malik, formerly of the popular boyband One Direction, regarding his journey to going solo. Then he decides to give his own analysis on the topic.]]"Career Suicide (Zayn Malik)" is episode #169 of comedy web series "A Dose Of Buckley" and was uploaded to the official website, as well as Youtube channel on November 22, 2015.
==Buckley's description==
Former One Direction member Zayn Malik gives us an example of how to ruin a solo career before it gets started, during an interview with hipster magazine "The Fader".
==Transcript==
If you ever wondered how to end a solo music career before it starts, all you have to do is have a quick chat with Zayn Malik. The former member of One Direction who quit the group earlier this year, causing many tears from the little piss-pants brigade on Twitter known as "Directioners", was interviewed by The Fader..."the definitive voice of music and the lifestyle that surrounds it." I've never heard of them before this, but they're the definitive voice, huh? Nothing pretentious sounding about that at all. Another New York hipster magazine so far up its own ass that it can do its own cancer screenings. But anyway, during the interview, Zayn said this..."There was never any room for me to experiment creatively in the band. If I would sing a hook or a verse slightly R&B, or slightly myself, it would always be recorded 50 times until there was a straight version that was pop, generic as fuck, so they could use that version." So basically, he said that One Direction's music is "generic as fuck pop". Strong words coming from a guy doing a photoshoot in the most generic-looking "leather jacket and ripped jeans" outfit that I think he could've pulled out of his closet that day. Also, that it took him 50 times to record something that the record labels wanted, which seems like someone who's really shitty at their job. If my boss had to tell me to do something 50 times, I'd be looking for a new job pretty fucking quick. 
He was also asked if there were any parts of 1D's music that he enjoyed. His response? "That's not music that I would listen to. Would you listen to One Direction, sat at a party with your girl? I wouldn't. To me, that's not an insult, that's me as a 22-year old man. As much as I was in that band, and I loved everything that we did, that's not music that I would listen to. I don't think that's an offensive statement to make. That's just not who I am. If I was sat at a dinner date with a girl, I would play some cool shit, you know what I mean? I want to make music that is cool shit." You're right, it's not an offensive statement. It's just a really fucking stupid one for you to make right now. You're alienating all of your old fans who are realistically also your only CURRENT fans, the only ones who are gonna support your solo work. You just said that you wouldn't wanna hear One Direction at a party or while on a date and that it's not "cool shit". You're not wrong, this is how a lot of adults feel...but you basically just said One Direction's music, which you participated in the creation of and had legions of fans and millions of dollars from, isn't cool. You left One Direction less than a year ago, and you're still known as that guy from One Direction, AND...you're a former boyband member trying to start a solo career, which...how many of those have been successful? You think you're gonna be the next Justin Timberlake? You'll be lucky if you achieve half the success of Joey Fatone.
You're heading down an already rickety bridge, tossing matches and cutting support cables along the way...believing that on the other side, you'll find fans who will say, "Ohhh man! This guy makes cool shit! Who cares that he used to be in a shitty boyband making shitty music for screaming hormonal girls?" If you think this interview with a magazine for hipsters, where you shit talk your old popular group, will result in you becoming popular with the hipster crowd, well...if it works, hipsters are even dumber than I thought. 
"I guess I just wanted to go home from the beginning. I was always thinking it. I just didn't know when I was going to do it. Then by the time I decided to go, it just felt right on that day. I woke up on that morning, if I'm being completely honest with you, and was like, 'I need to go home. I just need to be me now, because I've had enough." No...you didn't mean "I've had enough." You meant, "I've MADE enough." If you really didn't wanna do this ever, if you thought right from the beginning that One Direction wasn't the thing for you and that it was just generic bullshit that wasn't your type of music, wasn't what you felt passionate about...you could've just left. But you didn't because you're the very definition of a sell-out, someone whose principles and morals take a backseat to the almighty dollar (or British pound or whatever you were paid in). You said it yourself, you wanted to leave from the beginning. You don't think the music is cool...in fact, you think it's generic as fuck. And yet you did it for five years. Why? Because it filled your bank account and made you famous enough that some shitty New York rag would write several pages about you and slap your picture on the cover. And you think that's gonna get people to respect you? Sure, it gets people talking about you. Clearly, I'm doing it right now. And if that was your only goal, mission accomplished! But talking about you and respecting you are two very different things and yield two different results. 
Your job is to sell singles and albums for whatever label was stupid enough to let you put ink on a contract. And good luck with that. Now that you told your old fans you thought what you made suck and you've shown the new fans you're so badly trying to pander to here that you're a fucking sell-out. Your career just shot itself in the head. If you're lucky, it's not completely dead. Maybe the suicide was botched, and your career's still clinging to life...just a crippled shell of its former self, only hanging on because of life support. And when your label pulls the plug after your first album doesn't even go gold, bye bye career!