The Super Mario Bros. Movie/Trailer transcripts

Trailer transcripts of The Super Mario Bros. Movie. 
== Teaser Trailer ==
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Released on October 6, 2022
*[A view of a ice castle in a snowy landscape at night. Blobs of lava suddenly drop from the sky onto the ground. Cut to a menacing view of a statue of Bowser's head mounted on the front of a floating castle. As the castle lowers onto the ground, Kamek appears in front of the castle and an army of Koopas.]
*Kamek: Behold! The King of the Koopas! [he, along with the army, set the tip their staffs on the ground]
*[A gate lifts up in the ship to reveal a silhouette of Bowser amongst flames. He lands on the ground and stomps towards the castle. One poor soldier is seen shivering in fear and hiding in his shell.]
*Bowser: OPEN THE GATES!
* [The castle gates open and reveals tiny, but serious-looking, penguins, prepared for battle.]
*Penguin King: Attack! [he points his flipper at Bowser]
*[One penguin soldier lets out a war-cry before they charge at the enemy while the Penguin King grins with pride. They throw snowballs at them, before we zoom out to comedically reveal that the penguins have not done any harm to the Koopas. However, one Koopa is struck by an ice cube flung by a penguin.]
*Penguin King: [lifts his flipper up, the throwing stops] That is but a taste of our fury. [dramatic close-up of his face] Do you yield? [the penguins make attack poses.] 
*Bowser: [chuckles] I do not.
*[Kamek lifts the penguins up and flicks them to the side with his magic staff, allowing Bowser to burn their ice castle down with his fire breath. The castle collapses into dust, covering the screen.] 
*Bowser: [approaching the Super Star] I finally found it! NOW WHO'S GONNA STOP MEEEEEEE?!
*[The star lights up before the screen cuts to black. The first notes of the famous theme play before cutting to a scene where Mario bursts out of a pipe and bounces on mushrooms before landing on the ground. He gets up and clutches his chest, looks around to realize he's in a strange world filled with mushrooms and floating islands.]
*Mario: What is this place...? [his hand reaches for a mushroom]
* Toad: [suddenly appears behind the mushroom, scaring Mario] DO NOT TOUCH THAT MUSHROOM, YOU'LL DIE! [calmly] ...Ooh, I'm sorry. [chuckles, hugs the mushroom] That one's perfectly fine. Come on, Mario!
* [They hop across the mushrooms towards a castle on top of a hill, with some buildings and pipes surrounding it (The Mushroom Kingdom.)]
*Mario: Mushroom Kingdom, here we come!
*[Title card: The logo fades from the darkness, spelling "THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE" while it shines as a cinematic rendition of the theme plays]
*[Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Sebastian Maniscalco, Charles Martinet, and Kevin Michael Richardson's names all appear]
*[Luigi appears in a spooky setting, yelps while being chased by many Dry Bones. He reaches a house and barricades the door while the Dry Bones try to get in]
*[Coming soon: The words "ONLY IN THEATERS, APRIL 7TH" (April 5th as of writing) appear onscreen. Premium offerings (Dolby Cinema, RealD 3D, and IMAX) are shown below.]
*
== Official Trailer==
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Released on November 29, 2022
*[Mario approaches from the darkness before being blinded by the sunlight. He is in an arena filled with cheering crowds of Kongs while the same epic theme plays.]
*Crowd: [chanting] Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario!
*[We get a shot of Donkey Kong about to enter the arena]
*Mario: All right. Let's-a go. [he and Donkey Kong charge at each other]
*Toad: [throwing his fists around as he and Peach watch in delight] Woo-hoo!
*[Mario jumps and tries to punch Donkey Kong, but his attack is blocked by him. Mario is set down and gets beat the snot out by DK. Peach and Toad visibly cringe at this. Cranky Kong just grabs a banana, smiling.]
*Toad: Oh my- I- Okay.
*[The Nintendo and Illumination logos appear. Luigi appears, captured by Bowser as he is brought to him]
*Bowser: Not sure if you know who I am, [arial shot of Bowser's minions] but I'm about to rule the world.
*Luigi: Wow! Uh... [chuckles nervously] yay.
*Bowser: But there's one problem. There's a human. Has a mustache, [stretches Luigi's mustache] just like you.
*Luigi: Ah! [shot of Mario in the real world inspecting a sink. Back to Bowser, who is stretching his mustache farther and farther] Do you think I know a guy who has a mustache wearing an identical outfit with a hat and a letter with his first name on it? [shot of Mario and Luigi fist-bumping] Because I don't. [A very frustrated Bowser rips some of Luigi's mustache clean off, who screams in pain]
*[Shot of Bowser's moving castle approaching Peach's castle]
*Peach: [in front of many Toads] Bowser is coming. [in a different shot, she and the Toad voiced by Key whip out weapons and unflinchingly walk towards Bowser's castle] Together... we are going to stop that monster.
*Adorable Toad: How? Look at us. We're adorable. [he and other Toads make cute faces]
*[Shot of a makeshift course, like in the games.]
*Mario: Oh, I got this. No problem. [the course immediately proves to be a problem. Mario gets swatted away by a dummy Fire Bar. At night, he screams while he is hit by a Bullet Bill. Later, he jumps over a gap...] Yes! [...before the Donut Block he was standing on falls while he screams. Peach face-plants in frustration]
*Toad: Come on, Mario! [they, along with Peach, walk across a bridge surrounded by Cheep-Cheeps] Our big adventure begins now!
*Mario: [gets a big smooch on his face by a Cheep-Cheep] Ah! Get it off, get it off, get it off! [Peach and Toad rush to get it off. Peach gets it off but it lands on Toad.]
*[The words "THIS APRIL" appear, a brief montage plays. A fireball falls towards Peach's castle. Mario flies with the Tanooki Suit. Peach touches a Fire Flower and gets powers herself.]
*Peach: There's a huge universe out there. [The three look onto a landscape with awe]
*Mario: Whoa! [Batches of Yoshis appear]
*Peach: With a lot of galaxies. [Bowser burns down the Penguin castle just like in the teaser. A shot of Mario and Luigi entering the pipe is shown] They're all counting on us.
*Luigi: Mario! [Mario swoops in to grab his hand]
*Peach: No pressure. [walks off]
*Mario: [in a go-kart, he screams while heading full speed up a ramp. He, along with many others, jump with their go-karts onto Rainbow Road. Mario has a hearty laugh, then jumps with his go-kart, with the sound effect being audible, while lifting his fist in the air] Wa-hoo!
*[Title card: The logo fades from the darkness, spelling "THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE" but without the glimmer effect. The words "Nintendo + ILLUMINATION" form above the logo, while the extended cinematic rendition of the theme plays]
*[Coming soon: Only "APRIL 6" appears onscreen this time. Premium offerings (Dolby Cinema, RealD 3D, and IMAX) are shown below.]
*
==Final Trailer==
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Released on March 9, 2023
* [A shot of Bowser's castle. Luigi, in a cage, is dropped into a room, where he sees he's dangling over a pool of lava.]
*Luigi: Where am I?
*[Laughter is heard. Luigi turns to see a Lumalee spinning his cage.]
*Lumalee: Ooh, fresh meat from the grinder.
*Penguin King: [also being trapped in a cage alongside some other penguins; to Luigi] Pay him no heed. He's cute, but he's... [cuckoo whistle]
*Luigi: There's gotta be a way out of here.
*Lumalee: [swinging in his cage] There's no escape. The only hope is the sweet relief of death.
*Other prisoners: [shocked] WHOA!
*Penguin King: Oh, you've got to be kidding me!
*[Luigi moans in despair, and the Lumalee giggles again. The Nintendo and Illumination logos are shown before we get a shot of Bowser addressing his cheering army.]
*Bowser: My army! [shot of Koopas] Koopas! [shot of Goombas] Goombas! [shot of two Spinies anticipating for their names to be called out] Whatever those things are! [the Spinies sigh in disappointment. Cut back to Bowser] We will DESTROY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!
*Bowser's army: YEAH!
*[Shot of Peach entering the castle with her biker outfit]
*Peach: Bowser is coming.
*Mario: I'm not afraid. I'll do anything for my brother.
*Peach: We're going to save him.
*[Mario kicks a ? Block over to Donkey Kong, with the latter hitting it. A Fire Flower goes flying out of it. Donkey Kong claps it and transforms into Fire Donkey Kong.]
*Donkey Kong: YES! [as Mario eats a Super Mushroom and transforms] FIRE!
*Mario: [now as giant as Donkey Kong] Aha! [they both charge into battle, attacking Bowser's forces while a new rendition of the Mario theme plays] You asked for it!
*Donkey Kong: This is fun! 
*[Mario Ground Pounds some Koopas. Then he, Peach, and Toad head over to have their vehicles created]
*Peach: [as we get shots of Mario's kart and Peach's bike] Here... we... go! [she and Mario zoom off]
*Koopa: ATTAAACK! [multiple Koopas drive on Rainbow Road. One shoots a Green Shell, knocking away a few Kongs and triggering an explosion.]
*Bowser: Let's end this! 
*[Mario steps on the gas and drifts. The Koopa General shoots two Bullet Bills at Mario's kart, which a panicked Mario quickly jumps out off as it explodes. The music stops. He screams as he falls, but grabs a Koopa's bike as the music starts up again, steers it into another Koopa's kart, commandeering the kart. he then sees a third Koopa shooting Bullet Bills at him.]
*Mario: Yeah?! [throws the Green Shell at the Koopa's kart, causing a pileup] Haha!
*[An explosion occurs behind him. The music finishes as we cut to the movie's title card.]
*[ONLY IN THEATERS APRIL 6. GET TICKETS NOW]
Category:Trailer transcripts
Category:2022 trailer transcripts
Category:2023 trailer transcripts
Category:Audio transcripts