Erusin

Erusin is the Hebrew term for betrothal. Although in modern Hebrew erusin means engagement, this is not the classical meaning of the term, which is the first part of marriage (the second part being nesuin). A betrothed woman (arusah) is fully married in the sense that she requires a divorce and that sexual relations with her are a capital crime; however she is also prohibited to her husband, although not with the same severity.Rabbi Yosef Karo, Shulchan Aruch, III:26:3 
Since the middle ages, it has been traditional, in most Jewish communities, to perform the betrothal during the marriage ceremony itself; previously this was not the case, and there were often several months between the two eventsKetubot 57b.
In classical rabbinic literature betrothal is frequently referred to as sanctification (Hebrew:kiddushin), on account of the bride becoming sanctified (dedicatedTosafot, Kiddushin 2b) to the groom.Kiddushin is the name of the volume of the Talmud dealing with marriage
==In the Bible==
In the view of biblical criticism, a woman in biblical times was legally regarded simply as property (valuable property that needed to be looked after), and the betrothal was effected simply by purchasing her from her father (or guardian). The price paid for the woman (who became me'orasa by the act) is known by the Hebrew term mohar, although there is very little Biblical indication of the actual value which this usually had.
The traditional commentators do not necessarily explain mohar this way. Rashi understands mohar as a form of Ketubah, an agreement to pay a certain amount upon divorce,Rashi Genesis 34:12; Exodus 22:16, Mikraot Gedolot, six volume Shilo edition, 1969 and Nachmanides understands it as savlanut, a sort of dowry or engagement present.Ramban, Exodus 22:16, Chavel edition, Mossad HaRav Kook, Jerusalem, 5732 Rashi understands Rachel and Leah's complaint to Jacob ("we are considered strangers to him for he has sold usHalo nachriot nechshavnu lo ki m'charanu") as saying that is was not normal for a father to sell his daughter, at least not without also giving them a dowry.Genesis 314:15, Mikraot Gedolot, six volume Shilo edition, 1969
The girl's consent is not explicitly required by any explicit statement in the Bible; neither however, is there explicit permission to ignore it. It appears to have been customary in early biblical times for the bride to be given part of the mohar; gradually it lost its original meaning of purchase money, and the custom arose of giving the mohar entirely to the bride, rather than to her father.
==In the Talmud and Traditional Judaism==
===The Legal Act===
The Talmud states that there are three methods of performing erusin; by handing the woman a coin or object of nominal value, by handing her a document (as in a Jewish divorceTalmud Bavli, Kiddushin 5a), and through consummation, although the latter is discouraged, if not outright prohibited.Kiddushin, first MishnaRabbi Yosef Karo, Shulchan Aruch, III:26:4 In all cases the woman's consent is required;Talmud Bavli, Kiddushin 2B and in several places in the following pages however, it can be implied by her silence.Jewish Encyclopedia, Consent (http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=736&letter=C)
It gradually became customary in many areas for the money to be an object whose value is well known, and fairly constant: an unadorned gold ring - without gem or inscriptionKiddushin (Tosefta) 9a; though in Eastern Europe, during the Middle Ages, it was traditional for a miniature image of a synagogue to be carved on them, together with the phrase good luck. In many places the ring was an heirloom - a child would use the ring of their parents - but in some locations a ring would be made specially for each bride; among the Cochin Jews, a goldsmith manufactures the ring on the morning of the wedding itself, the bride checking that it fits, accompanied by women singing local songsSalomon Rinman, Mas'ot Shelomoh, 1884.
In Jewish religious law, two valid witnesses must see the ceremony.Abraham Danzig, Wisdom of Man 129:16 For the same reason traditional Jews believe that the wedding ceremony may not take place on Shabbat or Jewish holidays with shabbat-like work restrictions.Abraham Danzig, Wisdom of Man 129:13Kitzur Shulkhan Arukh, 148:4
=== Viewing the bride ===
The talmud insists that a man should not marry a bride without first seeing herKiddushin 41a; this has lead to a number of formal 'viewing' rituals in the eastern parts of Asia Minor. In Iraq (prior to the American Invasion), where the bride is veiled, the presiding Hakham simply lifts the veil for a split second. 
In the Caucasus, the bride is led around the groom a few times;Joseph Judah Chorny, Sefer ha-Massa'ot, 1884 (published posthumously) Ashkenazi Jews have the same custom, but it is seven circuits which the bride completes around the groom,Kitzur Shulkhan Arukh 147:5 and here the ritual is said to be symbolic of the bride's desire to protect her husband from harm.Sefer Taamei haMinhagim, 967 Georgia, where the ceremony is held in a synagogue, also has a circling ritual, but the bride and groom circle the bemah instead of each other, and do so after the marriage ceremony (in Georgia, this usually follows the betrothal immediately).
=== The ceremony ===
==== The blessings ====
In erusin, as in nisuin, there is a blessing over wine, then one or more blessings – one in the case of erusin: the <I>bircas erusin</I>, or betrothal blessingThe Jewish Way in Love & Marriage, Rabbi Maurice Lamm, Harper & Row, 1980, Chaper 15. This text of this blessing is taken from the TalmudTalmud Bavli, Ketubot 5b. The blessing in normally recited before the ceremony, but in some Sephardic communities, there is – or was – a custom to recite it afterwards. If forgotten before the ceremony, it can be recited before the ketubah is readMade in Heaven, A Jewish Wedding Guide by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York / Jerusalem, 1983, Chapters 20 and 21. Originally the blessings were recited by the groom, and in some places this is still done; but it is more common for someone else to recite them, such as the Rabbi.
After the standard blessing is made over wine, the couple drink the wine. There are other opinions that state that the rabbi should drink, either instead of or in addition to the couple. <!—, or that the rabbi drinks from a separate cup. The idea that the rabbi has a separate cup is not mentioned, because the JE is not clear on which blessings are referred to. A Sephardi wedding guide would be helpful.--> In Sri Lanka, the ring was attached to the cup by a white thread. Then the betrothal blessing is recited (in Hebrew), as follows:
Praised be Thou, O Lord our God, King of the universe, who hast sanctified us with His commandments and has commanded us regarding illicit relations;Arayot and has prohibited us those who are merely betrothed;arusot but has permitted to us those lawfully marriedn’suot to us by cḥuppah and ḳiddushin. Blessed are Thou, God, who has sanctifiedm’kadesh, same root as kiddushin His people Israel through cḥuppah and ḳiddushin'. The words “to us” were added later by Rabbeinu Tam.
==== The betrothal ====
The actual betrothal now takes place. The groom takes the ring - or money or other object; in all cases it must be his - and says, in Hebrew, Behold, you are consecratedm’kudeshet, from the same root as kiddushin to me with this ring [or object] according to the laws of Moses and Israel.Siddur Rinat Yisrael, arranger by Shlomo Tal, Moreshet, Ltd., page 133 in the Israeli Askenaz versionSiddur Avodat Hashem (a siddur according to the Sephardi / Oriental rite), Cholon (Israel), 5728 (1967 – 1968), page 611 If he is using money, he sayswith this. If necessary, he repeats the phrase in the vernacular. The Rabbi may recite the formula with the groom, in order to avoid embarrassment to those unfamiliar with the phrase; some say the rabbi should not say to me.
The groom now places the ring (or money or object; in the Causcasus the groom used a ring a coins of silver, gold, and copper) on the bride’s index finger. (Other customs have the groom place the ring on other fingers; in any case, it is valid as long as he hands her the object.)
The beginning of the phrase that the groom uses is the first phrase mentioned in the TalmudKiddushin 5b; two others are mentioned and several others are discussed, including whether it is enough to just be discussing the subjectKiddushin 5b and following. In some areas other formulae are (or were) used, as follows:
*Be hallowed and be betrothed unto me, [bride's name], the bridegroom, thou, bride and [virgin or divorcee or widow, as appropriate], by this cup of wine and by this coin; on account of them thou shalt pass into my possession, according to the law [='religious teaching'] of Moses and of Israel (Cochin)
*Ba ḳiddushiki. (Causcasus)
*Thou, [bride's name], daughter of [bride's father's name], art betrothed unto me, [groom's name], son of [groom's father's name], according to the law of Moses and Israel (Tilla)
==== The ketubah ====
In order to separate the erusin and nisuin - the two parts of the wedding - the ketubah is now readJewish Encyclopedia, Betrothal.
=== Breaking a Vessel ===
This is not specific to erusin and should be moved to the main article.
An old custom following the erusin or nesuin (the customs differ) is for someone - usually the groom - to break a vessel with his right foot. In some cases, the wine vessel was used, after the wine was poured out. In Baghdad and Georgia (the country) pottery was used, but the general custom is to use glass, which may first be wrapped in cloth. In some modern betrothals a lightbulb might be used inseadGet smashed… & mazel tov, and the bride might also take part in the destruction.
Smashing the vessel was the general Jewish tradition in early first millenium, and back then its smashing was greeted by those present exclaiming that this is the sign; the resulting shards were often collected by girls for luck. The exact origin of this custom is shrouded in mystery, and various explanations of this custom exist:
*that it is a reminder that despite the joy there are still things to mourn - namely the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. This implies the custom did not exist prior to that destruction - 70 C.E..
**some Jews extrapolate this belief to the conclusion that the shards can be used to divine how long the marriage will last.
*that it is a reminder to maintain proper decorum even during great celebration, and that it derives from the medieval interpretation, recorded in the Tosafot, of a Talmudic account;Berakhot (Tosefta) 31a in the account, the guests at the wedding of a Rabbi's son began to get carried away by their celebrations, at which point the Rabbi brought out a crystal glass, and broke it in front of them.Berakhot 31a This principle may be related to the belief that it is best to avoid tempting fate to spoil one's joy. This implies that the custom did not exist prior to the medieval era, or at least not before this event.
*that it is a reminder of the broken and fragmentary nature of reality, and hence a reminder to engage in spiritual repair of the world;Kitzur Shulkhan Arukh 126:2 this is the Kabbalistic explanation.
*that it symbolically represents the bride's hymen being broken, by losing her virginity to the groomKerry M. Olitzky, Marc Lee Raphael, An encyclopedia of American synagogue ritual, Greenwood Publishing Group (2000), page 26Anita Diamant, The New Jewish Wedding, (1986), page 190Deborah McCoy, For the Bride, (1993), page 128
=== Other issues ===
The rabbis prohibited marrying without an engagement (shidduchin); according to some opinions, there are penalties for doing so. Therefore, some have the custom to sign a Shetar ha-T'na'im as a formal form of engagement; in such cases it forms an informal declaration of the couple's intentionsAdler, Binyamin. Sefer haNisuim Kehilchatam, haMesorah Publishing, Jerusalem, 1985. chapter 3, paragraph 184-5., and is read close to the start of the betrothal ceremony. It is common for a plate to be smashed once the T'na'im has been readKitzur Shulkhan Aruch, 126:2; this smashing is usually done by the mothers of the bride and groom.
Rabbinic writers of the Middle Ages permitted the betrothal to be performed by proxies (presumably not including betrothals using the sexual intercourse method); these would be appointed by either the groom or the bride (or both). It was, though, recommended that the couple are betrothed in person.
=== Consequences of betrothal ===
For legal purposes, in Jewish law, a betrothed couple is regarded as husband and wife, at least externally. If the woman has sexual intercourse with another man, it is regarded as adultery;Sanhedrin 66b Since both the BibleAn example is the first chapter of Samuel and the TalmudTractate Yevamot has many theoretical examples permit polygyny, the man is still permitted to his other wives (if he has any), and he may marry other women, in those places (or cases) where the general custom not to marry more than one woman does not apply.
Similarly, the union can only be ended by the same divorce process as for married couples. 
However, betrothal does not oblige the couple to behave towards each other in the manner that a married couple is required to. Nor does it confer on the couple the right to have a sexual relationship with each other. 
As with marriage, betrothal between a man and a woman confers on the man with the right to the usufruct on any property given to the woman, and the right to inherit the property should the woman die while still betrothed to him. However, unlike marriage, the man is not held responsible for any harm or deterioration that should come to the property, even if the property had been given to the woman by her father (or her father's heirs); such property thus resembles a true dowry, if it is given during the betrothal rather than the marriage.
In modern times it is customary in most Jewish communities for the marriage to occur immediately after the betrothal, but there are still residual elements in these traditions which make reference to the betrothal period, and its difference from married life. In the Caucasus, for the first 12 days after the wedding, the bride secludes herself behind a curtain, guarded by girls; during this period, the groom cannot visit his bride without giving payment/bribe to the girls, on each occasion. Among the Cochin Jews the bride and groom wear red silk clothing during the first six days of the wedding, but not thereafter (often changing into green silk).
== See also ==
*Nissuin
*Jewish view of marriage
==References==
== External links ==
* Our Weddings as an Identity Card,Eretz Acheret Magazine 
Category:Jewish marital law
Category:Jewish views
Category:Judaism
Category:Wedding