Kalgerith Facts

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==The Facts==
*Kalgerith is in fact, epic.
*Kalgerith beat up Jack Fivefist because Jack thought he was more epic than he is.
*Maljuris got punched in the face because of "non-epic violence."
*The cake is not a lie. Kalgerith ate it.
*Also said above when Kalgerith ate the Glory Cake.
*Helicopter rotors were fashioned after Kalgerith did a spin with his cape.
*Alkindar Spire is nothing to Kalgerith, he just rockets up there.
*Kalgerith killed Steve Jobs because he wouldn't do iKalgerith.
*Kalgerith is pissed at Argyn because he sick and tired of trying to make him more epic.
*Kalgerith threw his sword in the air. We now call that Kalgerith's Canal.
*Only a boss like Kalgerith could make the SPA.
*Kalgerith threw his sword in the air. We now call this landmark the World's Sword.
*Kalgerith yelled loud one day, the next day, the Maelstrom rages.
*The Maelstrom is just Kalgerith unclogging his sink, but never ends.
*Kalgerith's Epicness kills all enemies in 1000 yards.
*When Kalgerith uses Torment, he's pissed off because the move you used is not epic enough.
*When Kalgerith uses Demoralizing Shout, you piss your pants and lower your dignity levels.
*One day, when Kalgerith ran out of Fortitude points, he sweared at the gods. The next day, he has the Fortitude Cape.
*Kalgerith shot a sniper into the sky. We now call this the crater on Skull Star.
*Kalgerith one shots Aztecio with his bug spray.
*Kalgerith doesn't explode to Fujisaku when Fujisaku uses his guns. He merely says that it tickles.
*When Tylious uses the Shattering, Kalgerith just missed his flying mount race.
*Whenever war's brewing, Kalgerith just rides his chopper.
*In Soviet Russia, Kalgerith kills you, even if you're not in Soviet Russia.
*Miracula Trueheart is the luckiest woman alive.
*Kalgerith can get blackjack just by staring at the dealer.
*Kalgerith uses lava for eye drops.
*Kalgerith can destroy two mountains with one pebble. This is now known as Skull Mountain.
*Kalgerith didn't come out injured of Jewel Dragon Enclave, he just wanted to get out of there since his bags were full of jewels.
*The above person is a dumbass. Kalgerith killed him for thinking that his bags could ever be full.
*There is enough Kalgerith to go around.
*Kalgerith one shots anyone who talks crap about Kalgerith's Domain.
*Kalgerith overlooks the Commando Perk. He just calls Commando a "short walk".
*Kalgerith can no-scope a guy hiding behind a truck.
*Kalgerith's epicness got him through life.
*Kalgerith punched the ground once. We now call this Plato Crater.
*Kalgerith's item colour is unknown for out of this world.
*Kalgerith's description of Platinum coin, is mere penance.
*After Kalgerith defeated Tylious, decataclymized Astrous and Voidlak, liberated Elementia from Draco Equiste, dethroned Alkindar Blackclaw, made Krag'Vexra have nightmares, ruined Lord Victor Ger'oul, jaded Shifujiro No Sai, thaned Grand Vizier Lochgor , ? and ? ?, he threw a party. Everyone is invited.
*Kalgerith is LL's equivalent of Chuck Norris.
*The above user has been epically roundhoused kicked by Kalgerith for thinking that Kalgerith himself has an equal.
*Kalgerith is more epic than Nick Shadius and The R.B.
*The above user has been FINALIZED. NO ONE is stronger than those two, or more EPIC. Let that be a warning to you foolish mortals.
*Astrous and Voidlak used Stairway on Kalgerith, now they are binded.
*Draco Equiste rained Deathquake on Kalgerith once. Now Draco Equiste repeats DO NOT MOCK ME YOU BASTARD, after he missed all 20 times.
Category:Comical articles