Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story (Chapter 3)

Chapter 3 is the third chapter of Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story written by MarioFan65.
This chapter is called "Fairy Tale".
==Plot==
(After Shrek and Crash's gang pack up the barbeque, Shrek open the door to his house and introduce his home to Crash's gang where his family lives with a living room and master's bedroom to reside in)
*Shrek: Welcome once again to my home. Make yourself at home and bake yourself some chocolate chip cookies if you like.
*Coco: Well thanks. We're already home. We can at least make ourselves to look like blankets and pillows on the floor.
*Shrek: Whatever you want to say. You are all welcome to stay over for the night. Sorry for sounding harsh earlier in the day. I've been like that ever since I moved to the swamp.
*Aku Aku: We could have take back our judgement. But forget it. This is where were staying for the night before heading to the kingdom of Far Far Away you say.
*Shrek: We'll be going to Far Far Away by morning. I got more dessert if you like. Also, I made some cherry pies last weekend and boy, they still taste so good when we cook them through the yule log fire.
*Donkey: Cherry pies! Do they have waffle flavor in it?
*Shrek: Ugh. Donkey. All you think about is waffles. Waffles, waffles, waffles! What's next? A waffle candy pop?
*Donkey: Y'all be complaining when someone choose a flavor over a meal like a burrito wrap.
*Shrek: Forget it. Eat whatever you want, but for us, waffles.
*Donkey: I bet I'm the only one in the family who care about waffles. Heck, I even put syrup on my waffles too. Y'all not complaining about it?
*Puss in Boots: Nope. We also got blueberries and other fruits in the fridge for everyone who's hungry for some fruits.
*Coco: We could be hungry for some dingleberries in the morning if we like.
*Shrek: Whoa, hold it. You're not going to taste for some dingleberries, are you?
*Coco: Of course not. I was meant to say raspberries.
*Shrek: A raspberry is a fruit and a dingleberry is a piece of dried fecal matter clinging to the hair around the anus. You don't wanna get the boo-boos, do you?
*Coco: Eh, I didn't know the meaning of these words.
*Crunch: Nothing can beat a pineapple on a straw.
*Donkey: Neither a strawberry on a waffle.
*Shrek: Okay everybody, get to bed. We have a long day tomorrow morning at Far Far Away.
*Puss in Boots: Gonna need a big nap to prepare for a big day in the morning.
*Crunch: Where will we be sleeping in?
*Coco: We have no choice, but to sleep on the floor like these guys.
*Polar and Pura: *sleep together on the pillow*
*Shrek: Uh. We have a master's bedroom. Who want the whole master's bedroom while we sleep on the floor like ants?
*Fiona: Shrek. We have to sleep on the master's bedroom.
*Shrek: Why not? We only have one bed in the house.
*Fiona: We're married and we own the master's bedroom. We have to sleep in the bedroom while the others can sleep on the sofas.
*Crash: Huh?
*Aku Aku: Be patience, Crash. We'll figure out a spot to sleep in the house.
*Coco: Where are we sleeping in then? Under a rock?
*Shrek: No, no. No one is sleeping under a rock or under the bridge tonight. I need more beds for the gang to sleep in. Who is a magician that can help me poof some beds for the guests to sleep at my swamp.
*Aku Aku: I can do all the magic if you ask me.
*Shrek: Really? Then show me what you got.
*Aku Aku: Hocus pocus. Abracadabra! *use magic to make few beds*
*Crash: Whoa!
*Puss in Boots: Holy gazpacho. You can make beds out of magic?
*Aku Aku: All said by me.
*Coco: *jump on the bed* Whoa ho. Check it out! *slam on the bed* Just right!
*Crunch: Easy there. You don't want to break the beds.
*Coco: I'm not gonna break them like a stool.
*Shrek: Couldn't have use a unneeded stool at the front door. *use his fist to break a stool.
*Fiona: Shrek.
*Shrek: Honey. I was just practicing my moves.
*Coco: You got smooth moves?
*Shrek: Huh? No. Just the tip of my brain and be proud of the gods giving you brains to act smart as a earworm on a apple.
*Fiona: Shrek, that was our only stool you just broke.
*Shrek: Sorry. Let me fix it for ya. *fix the stool* All done. *the stool collapses* Oh well. That was our only stool. Cannot repair it after the first assemble when taking it out like baby blocks.
*Donkey: A baby stool always get repaired. In fact, it never breaks.
*Shrek: That was the only regular stool we got. *upset* Aw, I'm always loud as a troll.
*Fiona: You're not a troll, Shrek. You are still a ogre after all.
*Shrek: Oh well. Now that these guys got beds to sleep in, we can still sleep in the master's bedroom after all.
*Donkey: Pillow fight!
*Puss in Boots: *play a pillow fight* Livin' La Vida Loca.
*Crash: Ah ha. *use a pillow to fight*
*Coco: Last one there is a cotton on the mitten! *use a pillow to fight*
*Crunch: Perfect sleepover for the night.
*Tawna: Crazy cool, I say!
*Donkey: King of the pillows! *knock the pillows over* Yeah! I'm the pillow king of the Pillow Kingdom!
*Coco: Way a go Donkey. You really own yourself a nickel over a penny.
*Donkey: That's what I love about sleepovers. You sleep over a place for one night instead of your home like a old farm from Old MacDonald.
*Puss in Boots: With friends over, come with many beds to sleep in and chat.
*Shrek: No need for more changes and now we can sleep without pushing to share some space with the room of three.
*Tawna: Easy piecy. Have a nice night.
*Aku Aku: Let's get to bed now with a good night rest.
*Coco: With a sweet sensation.
*Crash: Ah. *sleep*
*Crunch: He's really sleeping, is he?
*Tawna: Shh. My boyfriend's sleeping.
*Crunch: Why shh when we're the only ones talking? Shh.
*Tawna: Oh for crying out loud, just shush it. Shh.
*Aku Aku: No need to fight back. We got a long trip to go to in the morning. Now sleep!
*Crunch: Alright, Witch Doctor Aku Aku. *sleep*
*Tawna: Ting tang. Waka waka. Bing bang. Ooh eee, ooh ah ah. *sleep*
*Aku Aku: Playing like babies. Glad they're not kids anymore like my Crash and Coco.
*Coco: I still act like a kid, howsoever. *sleep*
*Aku Aku: *annoyed* Ugh. Tomorrow we have a long day.
*Shrek: *hold the babies* Let's get you to some sleep my babies. Have a nice day you guys.
*Fiona: Sweet dreams.
*Aku Aku: See you in the morning, Shrek and Fiona. *sleep on the sofa* Now with some inner peace to relax and chill.
*Crash: *snore* Ah.
*Donkey: Guys, I need a waffle.
*Puss in Boots: Go to sleep, macho.
*Donkey: Never mind. *sleep*
*Puss in Boots: And now, the cat go to sleep and dream about gazpacho and beef tacos. *sleep*
(Shrek and Fiona place Fergus, Farkle, and Felicia on their rocking beds as the couple sit on the bed together to sleep for the night)
*Shrek: We got a big group to take care of and a whole lot of Dronkeys to feed on.
*Fiona: The Dronkeys only come once in a while when Donkey bring them over with Dragon.
*Shrek: I'm still excited and nervous at the same time for Far Far Away tomorrow. What if the plan turn out to be a failure like the time when our vacation at Las Vegas go wrong?
*Fiona: Honey, our vacation won't be a failure like last time. You always have to think about when and what we're gonna do for our trip and plan to achieve on reaching to your goals.
*Shrek: I always wanted to live happily ever after. Here we are right now. Living happily ever after like a prince and princess.
*Fiona: But still, I love you, and your swamp.
*Shrek: Everything is gonna be alright. No worries.
*Fiona: We made new friends like the bandicoots we just met.
*Shrek: Crash and Coco. I like these guys and their polar bear and tiger pets are so cute like a kitten.
*Fiona: Who knew when was the last time I was given a cute pet like a poodle from the Fairy Godmother.
*Shrek: *nervous* Please don't say her name like Prince Charming. Tomorrow is suppose to be a good day without any tensions and manipulations.
*Fiona: Right. We're not going to Duloc nor the Dragon's Keep ever again.
*Shrek: Never more the bad places we go to like the Poison Apple. Have a good night, Fiona.
*Fiona: And don't let the bed bugs bite.
*Shrek: No termites or mosquitoes will crawl into my back for a boo-boo. *sleep*
*Fiona: Sleep tight. Don't fall out. *sleep*
(Back at Cortex's castle, Cortex and his henchmen are spying on Shrek and Crash's gang in the swamp by watching them on a computer, only for Cortex to be disappointed on the friendship of Shrek and Crash while thinking of a plan)
*Cortex: No, no, no! *bang screen* How could this be? A ogre and a bandicoot becoming friends and starting a beautiful friendship? This is so messed up?
*N. Gin: Didn't they went to sleep already? The lights are already out inside of the hill home.
*N. Brio: Good. Now we got more time to set up a pooper surprise party by throwing bombs in their faces!
*Cortex: I'm not in the mood of taking them down, N. Brio. I want to study the origins of the ogres on where they came from and how they hunt in the wild to feast on human beings like us.
*Uka Uka: You want to study an ogre, huh?
*Cortex: Yes! I wonder how they came to the swamp to live out gross, eat on bugs and scare off human beings. I heard they never live happily ever after like those flying demons in the dark lands.
*Uka Uka: What is a ogre is like?
*Cortex: Have you not heard from me? They have bad attitudes, live out a bad life and roar out human beings away from their swamp! Need to say more?!
*N. Brio: You really have a good point there, Cortex.
*N. Gin: What world do they originate from?
*Cortex: There are many universes with ogres and one of them is far away. Watch. *locate Shrek's universe with a footage of celebrations in Far Far Away.
*Nina: A fairy tale castle? Like in the Dragon Realms? Lame! Could have been better!
*Uka Uka: DO BETTER! You know better with ogres, dummy.
*Cortex: I'm not friends with an ogre. I just wanted to find a ogre and study what their gross nature is like. *locate in the swamp*
*Pinstripe: You really got a habit for shooting down supernatural creatures, don't you think boss?
*Dingodile: I heard they eat boogers for dinner. *laugh*
*Tiny: Tiny hate BOOGERS! *smash a table with cans* They're worse than school glue.
*Cortex: Okay. I just locate the swamp. And I found a ogre! *locate Shrek*
*Uka Uka: A ogre?! Ah. You're hitting the point.
*N. Gin: Hitting the spot, like hitting the spotlight. Yeah. I'm gonna be a star someday.
*Cortex: In your dreams, N. Gin. This is what a ogre look like and they got some benefits in their nature design. *study a ogre*
*N. Brio: They look like orcs, like gnorcs from Gnorc Gnexus.
*Cortex: In the name of Gnasty Gnorc? Give me a break. *see footage of Shrek living in the swamp, roaring off hunters, fighting off trolls and goblins, fighting knights at Lord Farquadd's wedding, fighting with the Fairy Godmother with his friends at the ball, trying to stop Prince Charming and stage and making fun of Rumpelstiltskin at the cage* This ogre is something. He has been erorant, hypocritical and ruthless in all of his life. He married a human princess, fought enemies like him, turn a Fairy Godmother into poof and had a stage fight over his actions. But wait, who is that guy? *look at Rumpelstiltskin*
*N. Gin: What is that?
*Nina: Yeah, what about him?
*Cortex: He is just a small guy and got lot of criminal records in his file. Boy, he is such a criminal that no one ever want to hire him for his fraughts. *see footage of Rumpelstiltskin ripping by books in the library, throwing a apple at a apple stand in town, robbing a store with potions, and got kicked out of a pizza restaurant over stealing sausages* Oh brother. Brother, brother, brother. What a criminal he is.
*N. Brio: If we are criminals, why can't we hire him here?
*Cortex: What? You're nuts?! He's gonna turn us into chickens and make us disappear like magic!
*N. Gin: I heard his criminal records was making people disappear over magic contracts and failed to live up his expectations on being a king of a kingdom with humans and creatures.
*Cortex: Eureka. I think you're right N. Gin. This short guy is the right candiadate for the job. I will recruit him and join forces to stop the bandicoots. That would make my plan perfect in some form of being a successful empire. Yet! The pages are going to the right chapter.
*Uka Uka: But where we are going to find him?
*N. Tropy: He's a bad person and bad people like him go to Jail for their crimes!
*Cortex: *see footage of Rumpelstiltskin going to Jail* N. Tropy is right. The short man is in prison for his crimes after all these years of trouble. I felt bad for the guy's rough life. But I am going to bring him over so we can have a talk about the Crash Bandicoot problem. *evil laugh*
(Earlier at night at Far Far Away, the knights are in a prison, holding Rumpelstiltskin with chains while making their way to the gate to enter inside the dungeon)
*Knight #1: Open the gates! We got a prisoner to held in the dungeon.
*Gate Knight: Aye aye sir. Entrance to the dungeon prison is opening up. *eat a burrito as he turn on the switch to open the gates*
*Rumpelstiltskin: You silly numbskulls. You'll never put me into this prison hole!
*Knight #2: You been a bad person all day long, dwarf. Hope this prison seal you to your new home.
*Rumpelstiltskin: I am not going to prison! Let me out of this trap!
*Knight #3: *hit Rumpelstiltskin* Behave yourself! You're going to like it here for a very long time.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Then I'm not feeling the fairy tale movement in the world full of fairy tales and stories.
*Knight #4: Let's keep it going.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Idiots. Full of idiots.
*Gate Knight: You may proceed. Gosh, what a trainwreck.
(Rumpelstiltskin and the knights walk into the prison dungeon as they see various prisoners in their cells such as humans, trolls, orcs, vampires, witches, bad dwarves and cyclops)
*Orc #1: I want a cookie!
*Orc #2: This place stinks in here.
*Vampire #1: My teeth is broken! And I got no wings!
*Vampire #2: This world is bummer.
*Witch #1: Where is the broom?
*Witch #2: Where is your ring? *touch Rumpelstiltskin*
*Rumpelstiltskin: *scratch his arm* Get off me and don't touch me! What's wrong with you?!
*Knight #1: Silence! We're already here and got a special place for you with high-level prisoners like you.
*Knight #2: Ooh, you're gonna have a bad time in the special prison room. *laugh*
*Rumpelstiltskin: I'm dead steak. *gulp*
(The knights arrive at the special prison room as they lock Rumpelstiltskin in a cage with the room detailed with skeletons, scratches, markings of how many days a prisoner has been held and dead heads of zombies)
*Rumpelstiltskin: *scared* Ah! This place give me the creeps. Why you lock me inside?!
*Knight #1: You're going to be staying here for a long time after what you have done in all these years of causing crime in Far Far Away.
*Rumpelstiltskin: You son of a munchkin! I don't belong in this trap zone! I want out! Let me out!
*Knight #2: Shut up! You're either going to like this prison or stay dead for eternity. Your choice.
*Rumpelstiltskin: I don't have a choice. But you're taking away my freedom here.
*Knight #3: Beat it, short man. The authorities don't lie with the laws. You're being caged up forever 'til you die like a dead knight. *point at a skeleton knight*
*Rumpelstiltskin: Well I'm not paying for that. My life's ruined.
*Knight #4: You didn't expect to make people wishes come true by erasing people out of existence, didn't you?
*Rumpelstiltskin: That's only in a dream! What are you thinking?!
*Knight #1: Your place is full of lies. Not even a tooth fairy give you cash over a teeth under a pillow! *laugh with his guards*
*Knight #2: Your days are over once again. No more tricks, pranks, lies, wishes and contracts under your ownership. You lose! Have a good day, prisoner.
*Rumpelstiltskin: You all can go to Pete's dump! I will be back and erase everyone lives, including that green ogre!
*Knight #3: Quit your whining. You're not five years old.
*Knight #4: Leave him alone. He's going to like it as much as a broken bed. Let's go grab some toaster strudels in the break room. *laugh with his guards as he shut the door by leaving*
*Rumpelstiltskin: You cannot leave me behind! I will have my revenge on the whole kingdom of Far Far Away! This stinks. I am the biggest nobody than no one could ever be noticed or heard in the public. *depressed* Oh brother. What have I become?
(Cortex and his army back at Cortex's Castle track down Rumpelstiltskin on the screen as Cortex figure out how to get Rumpelstiltskin out of the prison)
*Cortex: Oh my. It's not a ogre, but it's a poor man trapped in a prison.
*N. Brio: Was he raised better?
*Cortex: We don't know this guy! I don't know how much torture he has been treated over the years.
*N. Gin: Must be some misunderstanding in the prison zone.
*Nina: What are we going to do about him?
*Tiny: Tiny says "I don't know." Tiny says keep him?
*Cortex: How about I free him and join our army to set up a reballion to stop Crash Bandicoot, huh?
*Uka Uka: You're kidding. That guy is just a madman as you are and he would cause a lot of ruckus all over the place if it weren't for your trouble schemes!
*Cortex: Be quiet Uka Uka! I will free him from prison, and then we can talk.
*Uka Uka: I don't believe you. What you're gonna do is wrong. You already had a army and a whole big one like Papu Papu's tribe.
*N. Tropy: I can't believe you're doing this.
*Cortex: Everyone do your jobs! We're going to free the short man, no matter what you're gonna like it or not.
*N. Gin: I'll go set up the portals! *turn on the portal*
*N. Tropy: Aim to the prison where the short man is imprisoned.
*Uka Uka: What are you doing? Stop! *resign* Ugh! Fine. Go do it your way. We already have the high-profile numbers of strongest people on the team.
*Cortex: Shush, Uka Uka. I'm just doing my job to get this humnunch out of this prison. I'll be back. Pray for me if something bad happen to me. *go into the portal*
*N. Brio: Good luck, master.
*N. Gin: Take care?
*Dingodile: *confuse* Did I miss something? *pick his ears* Nah. Just a earwax stuck in my ears for three days. *eat a earwax and spit it out* Disgusting! Taste like rotten chocolate.
(Back at Far Far Away in a prison, Rumpelstiltskin is still stuck in a cage, thinking about how life can be painful for him as Cortex show up from a portal to free him out)
*Rumpelstiltskin: Life just sucks and can be painful these days. If it weren't for my crimes, I would never do such a thing to malpulate others and try to ruin the ogres' life by giving them contracts to erase them from history! *talk to himself* Oh Rumpelstiltskin, what are you even saying, trying to get out of this cage to get revenge on the ogre Shrek? *see a portal open up* What the?
*Cortex: *emerge from a portal* Hello, shorty.
*Rumpelstiltskin: How did you get in here? And who are you calling shorty?
*Cortex: Hmph! The people back in elementary school used to make fun of me of my appearance. The same kid who was raised on a poor circus. Now aiming for revenge on world domination! *laugh*
*Rumpelstiltskin: You're taking over the world? Me too! I want to rule Far Far Away so the ogre doesn't get on my nerves again.
*Cortex: You're going after the ogre, huh? Well, I have some unfinished business to complete by killing the bandicoot.
*Rumpelstiltskin: What is a bandicoot? Some sort of weasel?
*Cortex: It's, a bandicoot, not a wombat, or a fox. It came from Austrilla where the kangaroos hop in the wild near the mountains. We heard about your rough life in the prison zone.
*Rumpelstiltskin: How do you know about me? It's just my first day in prison and I need to get out of there before they execute me for life!
*Cortex: You're going to get executed? Oh no, I'm sorry. I don't want you to die and face the fate of your lives. Here, *hold a blaster gun* let me get you out of this hell hole.
*Rumpelstiltskin: If you say so, I'll be just fine, trying to get my way out of this nightmare.
*Cortex: Free the man! *shoot at the cage*
*Rumpelstiltskin: *break out of the cage* Yes! I'm free! I am born to be wild!
*Cortex: Good. Now, let's get out of here before the guards show up to arrest you.
*Knight #1: *he and the knights show up* Hey! What are you doing in here?
*Cortex: Uh, I need to use the bathroom?
*Knight #2: He got the prisoner!
*Knight #3: Rumpelstiltskin is not allowed to leave for the rest of his entire life!
*Rumpelstiltskin: Blasted knights! You're not going to trap me again with your dirty tricks!
*Knight #4: Stand dow. Don't move! Put your hands up!
*Cortex: You know, we're not doing the cha cha slide, you son of metal scraps. *fight the knights*
*Knight #1: *hold a axe* Pull back!
*Knight #2: Don't move a muscle!
*Rumpelstiltskin: What am I watching? Do I even get to say in this?
*Cortex: No. Keep standing until I shoot these guys out of the way.
*Knight #3: You're not going anywhere!
*Knight #4: Get that French fry!
*Cortex: I got your cheeseburger and chicken nuggets right here with French fries! *shoot at all the knights in the room* Yeah. *blow the smoke off the blaster gun* Shooting like a outlaw cowboy.
*Rumpelstiltskin: You're my hero. I can't believe you.
*Cortex: Let's get out of here quick before the rest of the knights show up. *walk to the portal*
*Rumpelstiltskin: Wait up! We didn't get to introduce to ourselves.
*Cortex: We'll talk more when we get to my lab.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Fine. Goodbye to this dirty place by the way. I will miss this place, NOT! *laugh and follow Cortex to Cortex's Castle*
(Cortex and Rumpelstiltskin arrive back at Cortex's Cartle by emerging from a portal on Far Far Away prison as the portal closes down with the two baddies greeting their allies together and Uka Uka in charge)
*Cortex: Here we are. Home sweet nightmare.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Ugh, what is this home? Why the castle is disguised as a science lab anyways?
*Cortex: This is actually my castle. Home to all the lab scientists and supervillains alike with a spirit mask to rule.
*Uka Uka: Boo! I guide them all as a team!
*Rumpelstiltskin: Ah! What in the world is this scary magic mask doing out of the mirror?!
*Uka Uka: I didn't come from a mirror. I was born as a human, then reincarated to a ancient spirit mask like my brother. Har har har!
*Rumpelstiltskin: You scare the bones out of me.
*N. Gin: Welcome back, Cortex.
*N. Brio: Glad you got that prisoner out.
*Cortex: It is a privilage to get this poor guy out of here.
*Rumpelstiltskin: I'm not poor, I'm a free person! I don't live under the streets where the hobos reside on the ground and drink some beer while farting in front of the garbage bags.
*Nina: Who is this guy? Are we going to keep him?
*N. Tropy: Of course, he's joining on our side now. Great. He's gonna cause more trouble than what Cortex did in the last decade.
*Uka Uka: Dingodile, show the new guy some manners with respect!
*Dingodile: Heh heh heh. Welcome to the team, matey! *hold a plate of fish sticks* Who want fish sticks?
*Rumpelstiltskin: Fish sticks? Aren't they like bacon strips or chicken strips when cooked with a lot of grease? Eh. *eat a fish stick and spit it out* Pww! Salmon?! What kind of fish stick is that?!
*Dingodile: Huh? I worked hard on catching the fish and cooking them for a recipe.
*Cortex: Dingodile, you used the wrong fish to cook these fish sticks you son of a bum!
*Dingodile: That's the only fish I have in the fridge!
*Cortex: You little barnacle head! Why did you use salmon over a regular grey fish?!
*Dingodile: I fished these at Mosquito Marsh so I can cook them with lot of salt and seasoning!
*Nina: *eat a fish stick and spit it out* I don't taste the seasoning on the fish stick.
*N. Brio: Bleh! I would rather drink sour milk over a salmon fish stick, but this meal stinks!
*N. Gin: What have gone into your cooking skills lately?
*Dingodile: Come on! I cooked these fish sticks for you all! If you don't like it, shame on you lads!
*Rumpelstiltskin: Who eat fish sandwiches when you should've eat a hamburger with lettuce instead?
*N. Tropy: I wouldn't ramble eating a ten year old chicken sandwich in the fridge if it weren't cooked correctly!
*Pinstripe: If they look bad. Then blah! Forget about it. I'm not eating it and would rather eat a meal out of a school cafeteria.
*Tiny: Just ignore him. We're not eating that.
*Pinstripe: This guy still suck at cooking even on this day.
*Komodo Joe: A disssssssater!
*Komodo Moe: Dishonor from the Komodo Brothers!
*Koala Kong: If there's no secret in the diet, then it's not a good recipe.
*Ripper Roo: *laugh maniacally* Ha ha ha!
*Fake Crash: *confuse* Uh?
*Dingodile: Aurgh! *slam the fish sticks on the ground* That's it! I quit cooking for the day!
*Cortex: Good. Then I don't want to hear your pity attitude ever again in our lives.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Now where were we? Oh, we were suppose to introduce to ourselves.
*Cortex: You're right. I'm Dr. Neo Cortex. Ruler of this island and castle. Born to a family with a poor unattention circus, later become a mad scientist in the later years.
*N. Brio: I'm N. Brio.
*N. Gin: N. Gin!
*Nina: Nina. The niece of Neo Cortex.
*N. Tropy: Dr. Nefarious. Some people call me N. Tropy for short.
*Tiny: Tiny Tiger.
*Dingodile: Dingodile. Also run a diner back at Mosquito Marsh. Closed on days when I work with Cortex.
*Komodo Joe: I'm Joe, he's Moe.
*Komodo Moe: And we're the Komodo Brothers.
*Pinstripe: Pinstripe Potoroo! Got a gun to wield?
*Koala Kong: I'm Koala Kong and I lift weights for a living.
*Rumpelstiltskin: And who is that?
*Ripper Roo: *laugh maniacally and hop around* Wah hoo hoo!
*Fake Crash: Ooh?
*Cortex: That's Ripper Roo and Fake Crash. They don't speak very clearly, but act gibberish in some ways of communicating.
*Rumpelstiltskin: And the mask that scare me earlier?
*Uka Uka: I'm Uka Uka. Leader of the army in charge. Listen up! We got a new guy with us and we got plans to defeat the bandicoots and rule the world. No one will escape when we strike to take over the islands.
*Rumpelstiltskin: I'm Rumpelstiltskin. Short for Rumpel.
*Cortex: Rumpelstiltskin? Isn't that one of those fairy tales where you have a rat head on your face? *laugh with everyone*
*Rumpelstiltskin: It's not funny! I was a rat once before becoming a human in one of the spells!
*Uka Uka: I'm sorry, did we hear you what you're saying? SPEAK LOUDLY!
*Rumpelstiltskin: *speak up* If you guys are going to go after the bandicoots, then we will go after the ogre too.
*Uka Uka: Who is this ogre you're talking about?
*Rumpelstiltskin: His name is Shrek. He is a fat loudsy ogre who lives in Far Far Away and the swamp by a family of ogres and have friends full of fairy tale creatures. They ruined me, my life, my popularity, my attention and my fanbase! I will get my revenge on those ogres and they will be sorry for their crimes for what they did to me on their kid's birthday! *freakout*
*Uka Uka: Oh my. What a tragedy. We heard you. I thought we treated you harshly.
*Cortex: You're not the only person in the world that is going after a nemesis. We're going after a nemesis and it's the bandicoots.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Who are the bandicoots in charge?
*Cortex: They're a family of bandicoots. One of them is named Crash. Crash Bandicoot.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Crash Bandicoot, eh? So we have Crash Bandicoot and Shrek to stop. Where does the bandicoots live?
*Cortex: I thought we sucked them away out of their home earlier. I heard they're in your world and must be hanging out with the ogres.
*Rumpelstiltskin: What!? Already?! I knew the bandicoots must be working closely with the ogres, talking about us and making fun of us like they did with the Fairy Godmother who lived in a wedding bell concert years ago.
*Uka Uka: This is a outrage, we must not stand here and do nothing. We need to take action NOW and get to our jobs on stopping our enemies in the world.
*Cortex: Right. Let's get to work and start the process on stopping the bandicoots!
*N. Gin: *salute* Aye aye, master.
*N. Brio: Will do our jobs by contining our shifts.
*Nina: Work today, free time later.
*Uka Uka: You clean up the mess too, Dingodile. You smash it, you clean it.
*Dingodile: How am I going to clean all of this? We forgot, we don't have a broom and a dust pan in here. Mind as well eat them all myself. *eat the broked plate pieces and fish sticks to breathe fire* Delicious.
*Uka Uka: *disgusted* You're gross.
*Cortex: *get on the computer with Rumpelstiltskin* Okay. The first target is tracking down the ogres' location and where the bandicoots must be hiding.
*Rumpelstiltskin: I hope they're not leaving to go to a kingdom like Far Far Away or something.
*Cortex: I knew they're gonna leave and we still have to track them down there.
*Rumpelstiltskin: I always follow them on my eyes. The ogre and bandicoot will not escape and they will fall by the hands of us. *evil laugh*
(
*Shrek: Morning my friends. We got a long trip to catch up far away.
*Aku Aku: Breakfast anyone?
*Coco: Sure. Bring in the muffins.
*Puss in Boots: The perfect bacon sandwich we needed.
*Donkey: Waffles! *eat the waffles*
*Crunch: I love some egg English muffin sandwich in the morning.
*Tawna: Can't beat a egg biscuit sandwich at Denny's.
*Donkey: Oh, we got something else and you're going to love this one. *whistle*
*Coco: Why are you whistling for?
*Donkey: Wait for it, wait for it.
*Shrek: Wait for it, what? Do you always have to do this when we leave to go somewhere else.
*Donkey: I do this all the time when we go out. Just wait for it.
*Shrek: Wait for it, yeah. But what happen if your whistle call doesn't show up on time like taking a bus? *see Dragon on the way* What the?
*Donkey: Dragon! My baby! Over here!
*Crash: Whoa!
*Crunch: Holy smokes. That is one big pink dragon right here.
*Tawna: And she's on the same size as the dragon from Dragon Mines.
*Donkey: Aw. Baby. Did you miss me?
*Dragon: *cuddle on Donkey* Heh.
*Crash: Aw.
*Tawna: Your wife is a big dragon?
*Donkey: Yes. You didn't see my big wife, didn't you?
*Crunch: I can imagine riding on a big lizard over a plane.
*Shrek: O rly? Who ride on a lizard?
*Polar: *see Dragon with Pura* Aw.
*Pura: Oh.
*Coco: It's okay you guys. She's not going to bite. She's with us.
*Donkey: *see his Dronkeys* Hey! Dronkeys! Look at you! You're ready to grow up and fly like the wind like your mother! Hua!
*Coco: One of your Dronkeys is named after me?
*Donkey: Yes. It's funny that my kids is named Coco after you.
*Coco: That's very weird and funny. You never met me before, but named Coco after me? What a condience.
*Shrek: Everyone get on! We're leaving to go to Far Far Away.
*Aku Aku: We're going far far away from your swamp for a road trip?
*Shrek: We're going far, far, away! You'll see for yourself when we get to the kingdom where fairy tale people and creatures live in harmony.
(
*Coco: Woo! It's like riding on a biplane through the rings of power.
*Crunch: This dragon can really soar like a eagle!
*Tawna: Bigger than the dragon at Dragon Mines!
*Crash: Woo!
*Aku Aku: No need for a car and wagon! At least, we got a big dragon to ride on.
*Shrek: You don't need a plane to take a flight to Far Far Away when we got a friend's wife to take a ride with.
*Donkey: Yeah! We're hitting like fireballs! Woo!
*Fiona: How high she can fly for?
*Donkey: About a mile. Up high, down low.
*Shrek: Like going with the flow in the waves when surfing?
*Donkey: Yes. Just like that.
*Aku Aku: So many places to pass and beat the traffic without stopping!
*Coco: This universe have no flying cars and ships as this land mainly focus on fantasy and fairy tales as in a storybook.
*Shrek: Like, it's ever gonna happen with flying cars and ships on the way.
*Aku Aku: Say, with a flying car. You can see your house from here.
*Shrek: We don't use vehicles in our world, silly. We got flying creatures like dragons and gooses!
*Tawna: Then why we are riding on a dragon for?
*Donkey: To get a free ride. Also, this dragon is my baby and my baby get to let me ride any time I want to go out somewhere in the world.
*Tawna: Your culture is really unique out there full of flying creatures and ogres living on forests.
(
*Shrek: Here we are. Far Far Away!
*Crash: Whoa!
*Donkey: Home of the fairy tales!
*Coco: This is really a kingdom like England.
*Crunch: It does look a lot like Hollywood from California.
*Tawna: But with all the fairy tale creatures living in the cities and suburbs.
*Fiona: There's a big castle to fly over and meet up with our friends.
(
*Pinocchio: Heyo! Guys, look! It's Shrek!
*Gingy: Welcome back. Did you save any dinner like fruit cake?
*Shrek: We had a long day yesterday. At least, I made some new friends at the swamp.
*Wolfie: Like who are those guys at the swamp you met yesterday?
*Shrek: These are the bandicoots that came to my swamp the other day. Crash, Coco, Crunch and Tawna, introduce to yourselves.
*Crash: *wave* Ah.
*Gingy: Ah? Ah is their name?
*Aku Aku: It is I, Aku Aku. Meet Crash, Coco, Crunch and Tawna.
*Crunch: That's us.
*Tawna: Great to meet you all.
*Coco: We all reside at the Wumpa Islands together with tropical resorts and sunny weathers on a high coast.
*Pinocchio: Very cool. My creator been on various places surrounded my water like Hawaii and the Bahamas. Really worth a continent.
*Coco: That's very sweet of you. We always live on tropical islands and the Wumpa Islands are the heart of our paradise.
*Three Little Pig #1: Ya. That's where they give you coconut juice and watermelon slices.
*Three Little Pig #2: You need a lot of sunblock to protect yourself from the sun so you don't smell like a bacon.
*Three Little Pig #3: We'll be smelling like ham and cheese sandwiches if we were getting a bit sunburn from the beach.
*Gingy: I'll be at my Gingerbread house for cold air.
*Pinocchio: My room is warm with cold air. I'm a real boy still, but a puppet.
*Coco: Like a toy?
(
*Cortex: And so. The bandicoot and ogre have arrived at the fairy tale kingdom to meet some of their friends. How exciting.
*Rumpelstiltskin: They're working together, even the ogre.
*N. Brio: We know that the ogre is making good amends to the bandicoots.
*N. Gin: What is that suppose to mean?
*Uka Uka: LISTEN! You're all staring at the screen for a reason! It is your duty to target at the bandicoots and ogres, not sit there and do nothing like sloths.
*Cortex: We're working here boss. You see us tracking down the targets to assault?
*Uka Uka: You could have said your words earlier and now you're saying this late. You know what you're gonna do to the bandicoot and ogre, right?
*Cortex: We'll shoot them like we did on targets and failed experiments.
*Rumpelstiltskin: Could have use a trick contract to wipe them out of existence. But never mind. I'll see what can I do to these pricks.
*Dingodile: They're gonna be burned like toast.
*Tiny: Tiny will claw them out.
*Pinstripe: Heh heh heh. *load up his guns* I got my guns ready.
*Ripper Roo: *laugh maniacally* Hah ha ha!
*Fake Crash: *point out to himself* Ah whoo?
*Nina: Ugh, are we ready to go yet?
*Cortex: Not yet. We got some time to think before the light bulb say so.
*Uka Uka: Then what's taking so long to shoot against the bandicoot and ogre?
*N. Brio: Are we going to like kill them?
*Cortex: Yes! I just need to target on where they going.
*N. Gin: They're in the fairy tale castle.
*Rumpelstiltskin: That's the castle of Queen Lillian and where her servants are. I hate that place so much where the ogre reside.
(
*Puss in Boots: Friends, I have been known by many names. I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato. The Furry Lover. Chupacabra. Friskie Two-Times. And the Ginger Hit Man. *chuckles* But to most... I am Puss in Boots! *laugh*
*Tawna: The Ginger Hit Man? Wow. You are known by everything. Are you sure they didn't call you a pussycat or something like that?
*Puss in Boots: Don't mock me by my name! That word is an insult to cats and is used to individuals as well. People also call me the Cat Outlaw and the Stabby Tabby cause of my sub-species.
*Gingy: Do you know what's funny? They should have call you the Gingerhead Man over the Ginger Hit Man. You know what I'm saying?
*Puss in Boots: Really Gingy? Who want to be a Ginger Hit Man when you are actually a legendary fearless hunter and protector of a old town like San Ricardo.
*Gingy: People call me a cookie boy when I was first baked by the Muffin Man.
(
*Puss in Boots: Meow. Fear me... if you dare.
*Cortex: Why would I fear you when you're such a cute adorable kitty.
*Puss in Boots: I'm a adult! Also, I'm a cat, not a kitten. That's another word for a baby cat. Such a stupido.
*Rumpelstiltskin: You're making fun of us, huh?
*Shrek: You heard the kitty. Now step out of the way before you fall into the wrong hands.
*Crash: Grr.
*Aku Aku: You're not going to turn this castle into a lair.
*Cortex: Why would I when we just invaded you?
*Shrek: Move back!
*Crash: Whoa!
*Dingodile: Make some fire!
*Fiona: Protect the gates and block the doors from letting them in.
*Shrek: Gah! I'll get these scienists when they show up again.
*Fiona: Look what they done to the place.
*Artie: It's a mess.
*Tawna: Someone better clean all of this.
*Coco: What are we gonna do now?
*Crash: Aw.
*Shrek: We'll stop Cortex and Rumpel together in all of Far Far Away.
*Crash: Hmm!
*Shrek: We're all leaving. Come on.
*
*
TO BE CONTINUED
Next: Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story (Chapter 4)
Previous: Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story (Chapter 2)
Category:MarioFan65's Fanon Stuff
Category:Crossovers
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