SW ScholBowl Mythology and Lore

== Bow Ties ==
== The Last Supper ==
It has become a tradition that the scholastic bowl team take a moment each 
season and do their very best to reenact Leonardo Da Vinci's fresco of The Last Supper. This tradition was started on February 8, 2006 at the Collinsville McDonald's.On one particular away game in 2010 a fine specimen of picture was taken. The set up for this particular configuration was argued for about 5 minutes before the shot was finally taken, to this day...only the blurriest "blair witch" version of this picture exists. (to Adam Heineman's frustration)
== The Taco Bell Coin Drop Spree ==
During (an unspecified year) Russel Sztukowski was able to master the coin drop contest while waiting for his meal at a (undisclosed) Taco Bell and won what has sometimes debated to have been nearly 30+ dollars worth of tacos, burritos and cinnamon twists for the rest of the team. 
== Coach Hasquin Has Been There ==
A recurring and warm-hearted reminder to players on the Scholastic Bowl team that Coach Hasquin has visited the locations or been in the presence of items that come up during the reading of questions in matches or practices.
For example:  
... For 10 points, name this scene that appears in the first chapel at St. Peter's and shows Mary holding the dead Christ, most associated with Michelangelo...
Answer: Pieta (Coach Hasquin raises his hand. Students boo and hiss.)
or ....  For 10 points, name this Parisian art museum which features the Mona Lisa and a glass pyramid.
Answer: The Louvre (Coach Hasquin raises his hand. Students boo and hiss.)
== Reaction to Coach Hasquin Has Been There ==
The student reaction to Coach Hasquin being at a particular location or seeing a particular site is typically violent.
== The Apple Pie Incident ==
The Apple Pie Incident was a series of anonymous letters that were 
displayed on the bulletin board of Coach Matt Hasquin's classroom (Room 10) during the 2005-06 season. The parties involved in the series of correspondence were known as Apple Pie and Yukon Cornelius. The letters were exchanged back and forth on the bulletin board. The authors of the Apple Pie letters continue to remain a mystery.
== The Letters ==
=== 1st Response to Apple Pie (Actually body of the letter) ===
* "Dear Apple Pie,
While you feel it necessary to make threats involving the spouse of a former Beatle, I find it very difficult to respond to your messages.  It would appear that the author of the previous correspondences has the intellect of a shaved chimp, dipped in caramel sauce.  But, since I have experience in communicating with bald primates, I will now respond to your message with the following:
*# What on God’s good green Earth are you after?
*# See #1
Now, I would hate to have to supply the proper authorities with the “notes and postcards” that have been left in my classroom.  The idea of “higher-ups” seeing phrases like, “you have pain, death, suffering and our secret weapon of torture” could possibly bring out the News Channel 5 Team to have a report at for all the latest.  So, if you believe that idle threats can intimidate me, well my friend, you are sorely mistaken.  My mantra throughout my existence has been, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”  So take care and be mindful of your surroundings, for I am the man that eats albino penguins for breakfast.
Adversarial yours,
Yukon Cornelius"
=== 2nd Response (Upon the demise of Apple Pie; Actually body of the letter) ===
* "Dear Mr. Alonzo Mourning and Mrs. Crumb Cake,
I’m excited to hear that the two of you have finally thrown caution to the wind and have decided to enter into holy matrimony.  The institution of marriage is a sacred one and the decision to move forward is a big step. I wish you both the best as you sail down the river of life arm in arm.  Remember to wear your lifejackets, so you can be safe.  Now, we will get down to brass tacks.
I appreciate your prompt reply to the last communiqué, but I find your lack of faith disturbing. First, I retract nothing.  It is the policy of this administration to not negotiate with terrorists, if that is what you truly are.  Judging by your recent list of demands, I feel that you are too inept to be actual terrorists...  Maybe you are more in line with the fine Disney Saturday morning cartoon, The Gummi Bears…  You know the one, “Gummi Bears… Bouncing here and there and everywhere, High Adventure that’s beyond compare… They are the Gummi Bears!”  My apologies for the musical interlude, but at times I find it necessary to break out into song.  Back to the topic at hand.  Terrorists you are not.  Pastel color, rubber bottomed, xenophobic bears, you may be.  My response to your demands is as follows:
- The buffalo meat – Get your own… is at a premium due the mass devastation done to the buffalo during the recent Super Bowl.  These magnificent animals only being slaughtered for their wings is a true travesty.
- A 70 foot baby bottle is out of the question.  Besides, I can’t get it out of my garage.  We also know that it is impossible to find enough “pure” water to fill a bottle that size.
- I will not harvest Pixie Sticks.  This is too personal of a nature for me and I will not insult ANY Pixies.
- I get the feeling that you may have sympathy for the French due to your request for French Toast.  I will not deal with the Egg Sucking French.  Your allies can go home and play a flugelhorn for all I care.
- The waffle iron has been extinct for millennia, therefore I could only come across waffle fossils.
- The name of the dog is Comet.  If you can’t remember his name, you don’t
deserve his autograph.
- I will not retract my insults in regard to hairless primates.  I’m sorry that I have insulted your immediate family, but it is a tough world out there.  Get used to it.
- It is impossible to hard boil 26 eggs.  This flies in the face of Albert Einstein and his Theory of Special Relativity.  It’s like sneezing with your eyes open, if you boil this many eggs, the universe would implode.
- The Sounds of the Whale were recorded at the last Curves meeting, but I did not have written permission to distribute the copies.
- The only press you will ever meet is permanent press, which is on the label of your tacky polyester wardrobe.
- You can have my pickaxe when you pry it from my cold dead hand.
- All hovercraft have been placed in care of:  G.I. Joe, the code name for a paramilitary counter-terrorist group that has been developed to take on COBRA, a ruthless terrorist organization bent on ruling the world.
- is where Michael Jackson lives.  I ain’t going there.
- If I sacrifice any goats, they will be for my use only.
- Why aerobics?  I smell Jane Fonda somewhere.
I will deliver nothing!!!  I ask instead that you stop playing basketball in the house and breaking the closet mirror doors…  You should have 35 years of bad luck by now… Some words of advice. Do not place a golf ball in the furnace.  It’s bad for your health.
I’m sorry to hear that Apple Pie has been eliminated.  He was a worthy adversary.
With all my heart,
Yukon Cornelius
P.S. – Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Category:Lore