BLACK I Prefer White

===BLACK: I Prefer White=== 
Tushar K Shukla
"Black is the answer to all Hollywood's misgivings till date" "Bhansali's
Black is comparable to any of contemporary cinema's classics."
Blah...blah...blah....Now time for some truth..... Hear it from the
horse's mouth.... Ladies and Gentlemen: presenting before you the man
himself... Feel blessed, feel honored.... The final word on the most
confusingly reviewed and misinterpreted movie of all times....yes you are
bang right, we are talking about the much raved about, famously pronounced
as "The sole deserving candidate for the academy awards", a masterpiece of
art, creation beyond comparison or even explanation, a movie so huge you
feel like disappearing in thin air when it rolls, and wish you could run
away from those pretentious pricks applauding in the dark asylum amidst an
alarming vacuum of misconception and misinterpretation, and may be catch
something subtle at home, for a change, far from the maddening crowds, who
rejoice at every howl, who jump at every brawl..... Take me away, O lords
of my destiny, if this is BLACK, I prefer WHITE! This is easily the most
misconceived movies of all times, at least in the Indian celluloid
history. The minute the movie rolled, and I saw a schizophrenic Amitabh, I
knew what was coming, and guess what, I was RIGHT! The protagonist, the
small girl looks like an Indian impersonation of the two girls from The
Ring and The Exorcist, with due apologies and respect to Verbinski and
Friedkin, respectively, who keeps howling all the time as if she has just
come back from watching Black. She looks like she went to see Sixth Sense
and missed THE scene. Agreed that it was supposed to be a DARK movie,
agreed that they were supposed to garner sympathy and tears for its
hollering monologue sessions, and agreed that as human beings you do tend
to get swept away in the stream of emotions so basic to our survival, but
tell me one thing. Where were the emotions?! All I found was noisy
confrontations all through the tiring 95 minutes (well if the actual movie
is longer, I would kiss the guy who gave me an edited DVD!) in first few
minutes of the movie, I thought it will take me a while to get attuned to
the dark, unexpressed emotions, but when it didn't affect me a penny, I
started getting worried about my reaction time and nerve impulses'
functioning. But they were not to be blamed, may be I have seen way too
many movies by now that such blown-up sagas of pathos don't influence me
any longer even in the minutest possible way. The movie did have some
inspiring aspects, like the sets, the camera, the lights, but let me add
just one thing, they all were looking way too Victorian to fit the
depicted time period in the movie! Amidst all this mumbo-jumbo of Black
making it to the Oscars, I have some thousand thirty inhibitions about the
remote possibility of that being true. The movie attempts a daring
depiction and storyline of disabled people, which is a very commendable
step to start with. They have even tried showing the constricted views of
the world towards the chances of their betterment to a certain successful
extent. But if the moviemakers had embarked upon such a noble task of
diverting the attention of the hackneyed audience, who have become used to
the song and dance routine much too often now, may be they should have
worked a little more into understanding as to what their world is all
about, beyond the stereotypical BLACK that they keep hammering from pillar
to post. I understand that Black substantiates their concept and
symbolizes a world devoid of all things colorful and lively, but couldn't
they leave a few things to the intelligent audience's imagination, an
assumption that they sure must have made while spending such obscene
amounts(read a fifteen crores INR!). A few things like the much-publicized
KISS between the lead actors, which truly I was imagining all the time
waiting for it! This could have been a rare creation by Mumbai cinema,
considering the oodles of moolah they waste on lavish sets and costumes,
which make no sense whatsoever. All the movie relies on is gaining
sympathy on characters oozing with self-pity and pretence. Way to go,
Bollywood, you don't get Oscars by stuffing things like Alzheimer's,
schizophrenia, amnesia and the works. Remember, someone said, Keep It
Simple, Stupid!