Mr. Banana Goes To Pussy School

Mr. Banana Goes To Pussy School is the third episode of season four, and the thirtieth episode overall, of No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom.
== Plot==
After losing the Mount Bikini Senate race to Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Banana decides to take up a new job and become a gynecologist. Meanwhile, Mr. Trump and Mr. Cruz go hunting. 
==Transcript==
[The episode begins in Mr. Banana's house. He, along with Bubble Bass, is looking at the election results.] 
Mr. Banana: I can’t believe I lost! Those sick scallywags would rather have Mr. Sullivan in charge than me! Well, it looks like I’m gonna have to get a new job now! 
Mr. Bass: What do you need a job for? You’re a millionaire! 
Mr. Banana: Having a job isn’t about making money! It’s about being productive! 
Mr. Bass: Well, there’s a new opening over at CPTV. Perhaps you could apply for them. That’s where I work - great atmosphere. 
Mr. Banana: Do they shoot any illegal pornos with strawberries? 
Mr. Bass: No. 
Mr. Banana: Well what about pears? 
Mr. Bass: No pears either. 
Mr. Banana: THEN IT’S NOT PRODUCTIVE! I know! I’ll go to medical school! 
Mr. Bass: You’re gonna become a life saving doctor? 
Mr. Banana: No! I’m gonna touch pussies! 
[cut to veterinarian school]
Vet: Now, the most important thing to remember when dealing with a sick cat is- 
Mr. Banana: HEY WAIT A MINUTE! I’m in the wrong class! 
[cut to OB/GYN class, where each student is greeted by Mr. Pepperchicken] 
Mr. Pepperchicken: Are you male? 
[the student nods and walks along, Mr. Banana then approaches the door]
Mr. Pepperchicken: Are you male? 
[Mr. Banana pulls up his peel, revealing his girthy banana cock] 
Mr. Banana: I think this should answer your question! 
Mr. Pepperchicken: Ooh I love banana! [bites off Mr. Banana’s girthy banana cock] 
Mr. Banana: HEY! [quickly grows back his girthy banana cock] There we go! 
Mr. Pepperchicken: [takes another bite of Mr. Banana’s girthy banana cock] 
Mr. Banana: HEY! [grows back his girthy banana cock again] 
Mr. Pepperchicken: [takes another bite out of it]
Mr. Banana: HEY!!! STOP DOING THAT!!! 
Mr. R’Onion: Would you two stop fooling around? Class is about to start, you’re falling incredibly behind! 
Mr. Banana: Mr. R’Onion! You’re the teacher? 
Mr. R’Onion: Of course! Who else could possibly be more well-suited than myself to teach a course about the female reproductive systems of plants? 
Mr. Banana: I’m sorry, the female reproductive systems of...plants? 
Mr. R’Onion: Indeed. I teach about the reproductive systems of all kinds of plants - trees, flowers, strawberries - 
Mr. Banana: STRAWBERRIES?! Let’s get learning! [quickly hops into his seat, a wide grin on his face]
[cut to Mr. Trump, where he is ranting to a teddy bear] 
Mr. Trump: I can’t believe I lost! Those sick scallywags would rather have Mr. Biden in charge than me! What is wrong with them?!
Teddy Bear: Well, you know what always makes me feel better? Shooting things! 
[suddenly Mr. Renaud bursts through the door, holding his camera]
Mr. Renaud: I’ve already got the camera set up! 
Teddy Bear: Not that type of shooting. 
Mr. Renaud: Aw. [exits the room]
Mr. Trump: Great idea! Let’s shoot Joe Biden! 
[suddenly Mr. Pineapple enters the Oval Office, armed with a rifle]
Mr. Pineapple: Sounds like a plan to me! 
Mr. Trump: How did you get in here?
Teddy Bear: Actually, I was talking about shooting jellyfish. 
Mr. Pineapple: Aw. [exits the room]
Mr. Trump: How do so many people keep getting in here? 
[cut to Mr. Banana, who enters his house]
Mr. Biden: Jack! Where were you all day?
Mr. Banana: I was at pussy school! 
Mr. Biden: You’re learning how to become a vet?
Mr. Banana: No! I’m learning how to become a gynecologist! 
Mr. Biden: A what?
Mr. Banana: It’s where you get to touch people’s vaginas without being arrested for it! 
[Mr. Biden stands up in astonishment] 
Mr. Biden: Holy smokes, Jack! This sounds like it’s gotta be the best job ever! Fuck being the president, I wanna be a gynecologist! 
Mr. Banana: Well then, you should join my class! 
[Cut to Jellyfish Fields, where Mr. Trump and the teddy bear are armed with rifles. A pet worm wearing a collar can also be seen with them]
Teddy Bear: Now be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting jellyfish. Huh-huh-huh-huh. 
[suddenly Mr. Lobster walks by]
Mr. Lobster: Hey Mr. Cruz, hey President Trump! I heard you guys were hunting! 
Mr. Trump: Larry? What are you doing here?
Mr. Lobster: Well, I couldn’t pass up the chance to go hunting with the BEST PRESIDENT OF ALL TIME, THE SAVIOR OF THE NATION, THE GREAT WHITE HOPE, THE VOICE OF THE SILENT MAJORITY, THE- 
Mr. Trump: Okay, Larry, we get it. 
[suddenly the worm barks] 
Mr. Cruz: What’s that, boy? You found one? GREAT! 
Mr. Lobster: HERE, I’LL TAKE DOWN THAT DIRTY JELLYFISH FOR YOU, MR. PRESIDENT! 
[Mr. Lobster shoots the worm] 
Mr. Cruz: MR. DOODLES! 
[suddenly Dick Cheney shows up, armed with a rifle as well]
Mr. Cheny: Ooh, better luck next time, Larry. Mind if I take a shot?
[Mr. Cheney shoots Mr. Cruz]
[cut to Pussy School]
Mr. R’Onion: Well folks, that marks the end of the course. I’m proud to present you with your diplomas! 
[Mr. R’Onion hands each student a diploma.]
Mr. Biden: Alright, Jack! This is the best day of my life! This is way better than getting elected president! 
[cut to Bikini Bottom Hospital]
Dr. Renaud: Welcome to the team, you two! This is one of the best jobs there is! 
Dr. Biden: Paul, you’re a gynecologist too? 
Dr. Renaud: Nope, I’m a pediatrician! [suddenly he gets a notification on his phone] Mr. Banana, it looks like you have your first patient waiting for you! ‘
Dr. Banana: WONDERFUL! [he enters the room, where a strawberry is waiting for him] Alright, Mrs. Strawberry. I’m going to be your doctor for the day. I’m going to need you to spread your legs and place them in the stirrups for me. 
[Mrs. Strawberry follows his instructions. Mr. Banana kneels downs and takes a whiff.]
Dr. Banana: Mhm, smells like strawberry. 
[cut to Dr. Renaud and Dr. Biden]
Dr. Biden: I wanna see my first patient too! [he walks over to one of the rooms]
Dr. Renaud: WAIT! Joe, that’s not-
[Dr. Biden enters the room anyway, to see Mr. Pineapple]
Dr. Biden: Well, look who it is! It’s your lucky day, beautiful, because I’ll be your gynecologist today! 
Mr. Pineapple: What? I’m here for an earache. 
[Dr. Biden ignores him, placing Mr. Pineapple’s feet in stirrups and pulling down his bottoms]
Dr. Biden: Wow, Jack, your pussy looks just like a dick! 
[cut to Dr. Renaud and Dr. G] 
Dr. G: Newbies? 
Dr. Renaud: Indeed. 
Dr. G: Anyway, no more chit-chat. I’ve got some very important patients waiting for me! [he walks into the hospital room, where Mr. Trump, Mr. Cruz, and Mr. Lobster are waiting in hospital beds] 
Mr. Trump: Mr. G! Quick! You’ve gotta help me! How can I lead a coup from the hospital? 
Mr. Lobster: Exactly! WE CAN’T LET THOSE DEEP STATE JELLYFISH WIN, DOC! 
Dr. G: What the hell are you talking about, deep state jellyfish? And why aren’t any of you wearing masks? 
Mr. Trump: Pft, I don’t need a mask. 
Dr. G: Mr. President, we’re in the middle of a pandemic and we’re in a hospital. The fish in here are far more vulnerable to the Plague than the average citizen. For public health reasons, it’s crucial that you wear a mask in this facility. 
Mr. Trump: Nope. 
Dr. G: [facepalms] 
[the episode ends]
==Trivia==
*This episodes takes place prior to "A No Malarkey Christmas".
*This marks the first appearance of Mr. Bass.
*Mr. Renaud is revealed to be a pediatrician.