Mistletoe & Murder

== Plot ==
SpongeBob, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and Patrick find themselves stuck inside of a mansion with a killer on Christmas Eve. The murderer has a plan to pick them off one by one during the night.
== Script ==
[The scene goes to SpongeBob sitting down in his living room]
TV: We now go to Home Alone 6: We're Seriously Running Out of Ideas.
SpongeBob: Please not another bad Christmas Sequel to films that were already good. I mean, Home Alone 2 was good but...Ugh...The others...[Switches Channel.]
TV: We are now showing Pop Lard SegWay Guard: Die Hard in a Mall with a fat guy!
SpongeBob: I don't even know how to respond to that. [Swaps channel.]
TV: Look kids! It's the brand new talking SpiderMan Deluxe Figure! But this time it lights up! Woooooah!
SpongeBob: It's basically the same toy but released for another Christmas for double money....[Sigh] [Switches the Channel.]
Perch Perkins: [On TV] Go out with big coats on today folks because it's very, very cold. Bikini Bottom is covered in snow. And you know what that means?
SpongeBob: Fun in the Snow! Woo! [Runs out of his house]
[White Christmas (Micheal Buble Version) plays as SpongeBob and Patrick play in the snow. We then go to the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs is shovelling up some snow]
Mr. Krabs: Pesky Snow, always getting in the way. Well, you're no match for Eugene H. Krabs! I was in the navy!
[SpongeBob and Patrick are on the roof of The Krusty Krab with a huge ball of snow]
SpongeBob: In 3, 2...1..Go! [Dives onto the snowball with Patrick and it drops down onto Mr. Krabs, covering them all.]
[Mr. Krab's eye comes up from the snow and looks around like a submarine popping out of the ocean. He then pulls himself up from out of the snow]
SpongeBob & Patrick: [They both jump up from the snow ball.] WOOO!
Patrick: Let's do that again!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, aren't you forgetting something? [Grabs a Krusty Krab Uniform hat and puts it on SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Huh? I didn't think The Krusty Krab was open today. I mean, Squidward isn't even here.
Mr. Krabs: Wait a moment, where is Squidward?
Patrick: I've found him...I think...
[Mr. Krabs looks around to see Squidward's Nose popping out from the snow]
Mr. Krabs: That is your nose, right?
SpongeBob: Uhm, it's too big to be...Something else...
Squidward: [Gets pulled out of the snow by Mr. Krabs] WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?
SpongeBob: Me? Um...I didn't say anything...
[The scene goes to SpongeBob, Squidward and Mr. Krabs walking into the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Oooh. Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the w-!
Squidward: PLEASE! Don't sing! [Walks over to the register boat, tries to open the mini hatch and smashes it off.] Couldn't you turn up the heat? This place is broken without heat.
SpongeBob: Not exactly Squidward, I think I could make this place dazzle again.
Squidward: Let me guess....Through song?
SpongeBob: Yup! Oooh! [Deeper Voice] Oooooh! [Higher voice] Oooooooh! [Normal voice] Oooh! Sorry, I'm just trying to get my voice right. We don't want another Atlantis experience now, do we?
SpongeBob: Oooh, Christmas. It's the best time of the year.
Filled with presents, family and Christmas Cheer.
Where anything freezes up, even one little tear. [Makes a tear come from his eye and it freezes up]
Ooh, Christmas! Oh Christmas! It's the best time of the year!
Filled with presents, family and Christmas Cheer! 
What better place to have it than at good Ol' here!
Filled with dancing, presents and some good Ol' Christmas songs!
You won't be on Santa's Good List if you have done any wrongs! 
[Stops Singing] Note to self, Squidward may not be included on the nice list.
Squidward: Hey!
[SpongeBob starts to sing again]
Oh Christmas, Oh Christmas! What a great time of the year!
Filled with presents, laughter and plenty of Christmas Cheer!
Where your parents get you toys, DVDs and many cheesy clothes! 
I even got a little mitten to go on the end of Squidward's Nose! 
They'll be laughter, cheer and family.
When we open our gifts under the tree! 
In my pineapple located under the deep blue sea!
Oh Yeah!
[The Krusty Krab is fully decorated and SpongeBob is standing next to the Cash Register]
Squidward: How did you decorate all of this place so quickly!?
SpongeBob: The power of song Squidward, the power of song.
Squidward: Pfft, Christmas Songs are nothing but a think to get through a Christmas Special quicker.
SpongeBob: True, but you've got to admit. Some are really catchy. May I remind you about Don't Be a Jerk?
Squidward: If you sing again, I will be walking right out of this restaurant!
SpongeBob: Where's your Christmas Cheer? [Song] Oh, there is a time of the year.
Filled with family, presents and-...[A bucket of paint falls down onto his head, he absorbs the paint.] What's going on up there Mr. Krabs?
[Mr. Krabs is on some ladders painting the Galley Grub Menu.]
Mr. Krabs: I'm adding Cola Pops to the menu, they're selling very quickly.
SpongeBob: Cola Pops? Since when did we start selling Cola Pops?
[SpongeBob turns around to see Nat Peterson walking up to a Cola Machine, he then presses a button on the machine to make Cola come out of it, it freezes before it reaches the Cola Cup and Nat Peterson snaps it of.]
Nat Peterson: Hey! A Cola Pop! Awesome!
Mr. Krabs: HEY!! You're gonna have to pay extra for that! [Runs towards Nat.]
SpongeBob: [Jumps down from the ladders] [Sigh] Well, I'm bored.
Squidward: Welcome to my world...
SpongeBob: Say, are you doing anything tonight?
Squidward: Nope.
SpongeBob: We have some good talks...Good talks...
Squidward: Nope, we do not....
SpongeBob: Say, is there anything you know that I could spend time doing tonight, with Patrick and some friends?
Squidward: If I suggest something for you, will you leave me alone...?
SpongeBob: Sure thing, pal.
Squidward: Well then, there's a new place opened down the street. It's a fun Murder Mystery Diner Mansion. It's supposed to be great. You should give that a try.
SpongeBob: That sounds like a great time! I mean, there won't be any real killers there. Right?
Squidward: Trust me, now you've said that there's probably going to be some weird thing that goes on during the night which gets us all in trouble.
SpongeBob: Wow, imagine that. A Bull Worm with teeth as sharp as pencils with a pink and yellow striped tail. That'd be weird.
Squidward: Only someone as weird as you could come on with something as weird as that....
SpongeBob: [A light bulb smashes down onto SpongeBob's head, he picks up the smashed light bulb and hangs it above his head.] Ding! I have an idea!
Squidward: Well, ding, I don't care.
SpongeBob: I could get Patrick, you, Sandy and Mr. Krabs over to that murder mystery place for the best Christmas Eve ever!
Squidward: Why would I leave my relaxing lovely warm home to go to a tourist trap Murder Mansion event which is on one of the roughest streets of Bikini Bottom!?
SpongeBob: I don't know, maybe because I have free passes for the whole night which will include air conditioning and food? [Grabs out some passes from his pocket.]
Squidward: Where did you-?! How-!?
SpongeBob: I got handed a leaflet filled with these just the other day, I didn't know what they were for though...
Squidward: Well, I'm still not coming.
SpongeBob: Come on Squid. [Stretches his arm to the other side of Squidward and starts to poke his nose] Come on Squid.
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: Come on...
Squidward: NO....
SpongeBob: You know you want to!
Squidward: NOOOOOOO!! [Screams SpongeBob's skin off into a fish who is at the back of The Krusty Krab.]
Mason (Fish): [With SpongeBob's Skin over him] Ew...[Takes it off and passes it to SpongeBob] I believe this is yours...[Walks away]
SpongeBob: Um, thanks...[Puts on Skin] Come on Squid, Christmas Eve is about being with the ones you love...
Squidward: Then I won't be with you...
SpongeBob: It's also about those closest to you, and we're pretty close....[Suddenly behind Squidward in the register boat.]
Squidward: ARGHHHHHH!! [Jumps out off the boat.] If I come to your little stupid thing tonight, will you leave me alone!?
SpongeBob: Sure thing pal.
Squidward: Ok then! I'll come! Sheesh!
SpongeBob: YAYYYYY!!
[The scene goes to SpongeBob with Sandy in Sandy's Tree Bedroom.]
Sandy: So, dinner with you on Christmas Eve? That sounds pretty nice, where are we going? Luigi's? Fancy?
SpongeBob: Well...
[The scene goes to SpongeBob, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Squidward and Patrick standing in front of The Murder Mansion on an abandoned run down, spooky street.]
SpongeBob: The Murder Mansion Dinner Meal Mystery!
[A Sea Rat dives up onto Sandy's Arm.]
Sandy: How did you manage to make a downgrade from Jim E Cheese's Party Song Eating Dinner!? And this place is horrible!
[Fred drives up to them in a small van, shoots the Sea Rat with a spray and drives away.]
SpongeBob: Trust me, this place will be great...!
[SpongeBob knocks on the door and Stanley Silver opens up the door, he is a posh man in a tuxedo.]
Stanley Silver: Hello....
SpongeBob: Hello, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants and these are my friends, we booked a dinner night here.
Stanley Silver: SpongeBob....? You look more like cheese than what I imagined. Well, come on in and follow my rules.
[SpongeBob and friends follow Stanley into The Mansion. Stanley closes the door and then locks the door.]
SpongeBob: See, Sandy? It's pretty nice on the inside.
Sandy: I don't know, this place is giving me major creepy vibes...
Stanley Silver: Please, no talking. That'll ruin the experience.
Squidward: How could being in a creepy mansion with the doors locked surrounded by a bunch of people you constantly try and get away from be a good experience in the first place...?
Stanley Silver: I said no talking, now....I will give you all cards of what your character is called and what he will do. [Gives the characters a pile of cards.]
SpongeBob: Hey, do you want to see a card trick? [Throws the cards up into the air but fails to catch them.] Oops...
[Squidward pulls a card out off his eye and gives it back to SpongeBob.]
Squidward: [Reads his first card.] I say, boy, I'm feeling a bit peckish, I will just go to the eating area we call the kitchen to get a bite of a lovely snack of a sandwich...Seriously? This sounds like something wrote by a 10 Year Old....
SpongeBob: [Squidward walks into the kitchen and he reads out his card.] Well gang, it looks sure pretty great that we are in this totally killer free mansion for the night.
Patrick: I need to go to the bathroom.
Stanley Silver: Sir, no bathroom breaks, please read your card.
Patrick: I really need the bathroom.
Stanley Silver: SIR.
Patrick: [Shows card to Stanley.] That's what it says.
Stanley Silver: Well, why yes...Yes it does. Ok, go then. [Patrick runs into a room.] That is not the bathroom sir...
Sandy: [Reads Card.] I'm scared, this mansion is scary, I don't like to be scared by scary things that are scary.
[A scream is heard from another room and the maid of the area comes stumbling through the door and she falls onto the floor.]
SpongeBob: [Reads Card.] Gasp.
Sandy: [Reads Card.] Terrified Scream...Why aren't these wrote as actions....?
Squidward: [Walks into the room] Holy Flickin' Sit, something flippin' killed that woman. Holy Macaroni.
Patrick: [Walks into the room.] Oh no, she is died.
[Stanley Silver looks at the maid and gasps, he jumps back and bashes into the wall.]
Stanley Silver: She's dead....!!
Squidward: Wow, really? I would have NEVER have figured that one out.
Stanley Silver: No! She's actually dead...
SpongeBob: I say the butler did it!
Stanley Silver: CAN'T YOU SEE SHE IS DEAD!?
SpongeBob: It's always the butler!
Stanley Silver: I'M THE BUTLER!!
SpongeBob: [Gasp] It was you then!
Stanley Silver: There is no owner, just me and the Maid in this place! But this woman is actually dead.
SpongeBob: So, she's not dead....? She's actually dead?
Stanley Silver: ......I guess that's how someone like you could put it. I'll just explain to you like you're 9, this woman is actually bye bye.
Patrick: That seems too complicated for me, explain it like I'm a 2 Year Old.
Stanley Silver: [Pulls the knife out from the maid's back.] This woman went bye bye and went permanently to sleep with this sharp object which was put in her back going stab stab.
Patrick: Uhm, I see...
SpongeBob: He has the murder weapon! It's him! I called it along!
Stanley Silver: The character of the maid is not dead, the actress is dead...! We need to get out off here before it's too late! The only way to get out is by putting a code in to open the front metal doors!
Squidward: Well, you called what would end up happening today, SpongeBob...You really did...
SpongeBob: There's no weird bull worm here....Or is there!?
Squidward: [Sigh] Really SpongeBob?
Mr. Krabs: I'm not going to say anything, I don't even know why I'm here!
SpongeBob: Don't worry Sandy, I'm not a kid. I'm a brave man, and if anything happens I will 100% protect you and be strong!
[A harpoon gun comes down from a balcony inside of the mansion and stabs right through Stanley Silver's body.]
SpongeBob: [Screams like a girl and jumps into Sandy's Arms.] Heh...I did not expect that to happen...
[The harpoon flies back through Stanley's body and back into The Harpoon Gun. Stanley falls to the ground and coughs up some blood.]
SpongeBob: [Gets back up onto the ground.] Are you....Dying?
Stanley Silver: Y-Yes....I-I'm pretty sure I'm dying...
SpongeBob: Ok, I see...Well, I didn't go to medical school for 2 years for nothing! I did it to impress a girl who I found out soon after had a girl friend...
Sandy: Are you sure you can help this guy....?
SpongeBob: Trust me Sandy...I can save him from death....I can save him...
[SpongeBob pushes down on Stanley's Body, Stanley dies as he is doing it.]
Squidward: That isn't working! He's already dead. Way to go!
Patrick: That isn't how you save a guy! Let me show you how to do it. [Pushes SpongeBob out off the way.] Ok, in 3...2....1....!! [Body slams Stanley.] Ok, I think you do ten of these to help!
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's a wrestling attack! That isn't going to work!
Squidward: Well, I think I have a good idea of what to do in a situation like this!
SpongeBob: Split together and look for clues?
Squidward: No! Not that! Why would we want to split together!? That's the worse course of action! We stick together and find an exit to this place which isn't blocked off...That's the best course of action.
SpongeBob: I see....Although, it'd be pretty cool in trying to find the killer, am I right?
Squidward: WHAT?
SpongeBob: Come on friends! Let's split up and find that killer and show him what he deserves!
Squidward: I hate all of you....
[The scene goes to SpongeBob walking down a corridor alone in the mansion, he looks at a photo of Stanley Silver. His face is crossed off with a triangle surrounding the crosses.]
SpongeBob: What the.....?
[A gun shot gets fired at the picture and SpongeBob dodges it, he then hears a laugh from the distance.]
SpongeBob: Hey! Come back here! [The carpet trips him over and captures him.] Hey! What the!?
[SpongeBob struggles himself out off the carpet and see's a shadowy figure walking towards his corridor. He runs into a room and shuts the door.]
SpongeBob: Wow, that was a close one!
[SpongeBob looks around and finds himself inside of a replica of The Krusty Krab Kitchen. He looks around amazed.]
SpongeBob: W-What the.....? This can't be right! It can't be happening! [SpongeBob opens up a wardrobe to find a bunch of PlayFish Magazines] It is real...
[The door flies open and Squidward walks inside. SpongeBob Screams, pulls a poster down from the wall, knocks a bottle of ketchup onto the ground and falls to the ground. We then see the red ketchup spelling around him and down a drain.]
Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing?!
SpongeBob: [Gets up from the ground.] Stand back! I have condiments! [Picks up a bottle of mayonnaise.]
Squidward: SpongeBob, it's me, Squidward.
SpongeBob: Don't take on more step towards me, none of this is real. It's a mind trick!
Squidward: SpongeBob! [Walks towards SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: That's it! I warned ya! [Squirts a bunch of mayonnaise into Squidward's face.] Take that, killer!
Squidward: [Throws the mayonnaise off his face.] Really SpongeBob? It's me, the original Squidward.
SpongeBob: You're right, no one can replicate a nose as big as yours.
Squidward: What are you doing anyways? And why is this place a replica of The Krusty Krab Kitchen....?
SpongeBob: I don't know...[Walks back into the back door, he tries to open it but he activates a button. The whole kitchen disappears and shows a run down ugly kitchen]
Squidward: Ok, that isn't normal...
SpongeBob: Something weird is happening here...And I don't like it...[Looks down into the open wardrobe and see's a Phone inside of it.] A Phone!
Squidward: Ok, that's good. Call the police.
SpongeBob: I will do, Squidward...!
[The scene goes to Sandy walking into a library room, she picks up a book, puts it on top of a table and sits down onto a chair.]
Sandy: Something feels off with this place, and I need to read about the history.
[The book shelf behind her opens up and a green hand pops out from it, the hand reaches to grab Sandy and grabs her chest.]
Sandy: What the ba-? EW!! [Smacks the hand with the book and runs out off the library] That's messed up!
[We then go to Mr. Krabs who is still inside of the entrance of the mansion, he looks at Stanley's body and smacks himself.]
Mr. Krabs: No Eugene, you're better than this! You can keep the temptation away for now! [Looks back.] [Sigh] Well, I'm never gonna get the chance to do this again so...
[Mr. Krabs grabs Stanley's Wallet from out of his pocket and opens it up. A monster pops out from the wallet and roars at him.]
Mr. Krabs: YOU'RE NOT MONEY!! [Money comes out from the middle of his belt in the style of pee.] MR. SQUIDWARD!! HELP ME!! [Screams, drops the wallet and runs away.]
[The scene goes to Patrick walking down a corridor, he opens up a door to see a snow wonderland.]
Patrick: Wow! Guys! I found a way out! GUYS!!....Guys? Well, more for me!
[Patrick steps through the door and enters The Snow WonderLand.]
Patrick: Snow Angels! [The door slams shut.] [Gasp] No! I'm stuck! Well, I better wait for someone to save me...[Looks around.] Hm, it's kind of lonely around here. I know! I'll make a friend.....!!
[The scene goes to Officer Nancy in The Police Station, she is behind the main desk with Officer John sleeping next to her.]
Officer John: Ah, Christmas. The most relaxing time of the year....Don't you think?
Officer Nancy: Not really...Instead of clown sightings we have Santa Sightings. SANTA SIGHTINGS FOR NEPTUNE'S SAKE.
Officer John: Imagine if we got a call now from some guys saying that a killer is after them in some kind of creepy mansion.
Officer Nancy: [The phone rings and she looks at John as he looks at her] [She answers the phone.] Um, hello?...Who's there? [Puts phone down.]
Officer John: Well?
Officer Nancy: Just someone asking if I have had an accident...
Officer John: Ah, ok.
Officer Nancy: [Phone rings and she answers it.] Hello? SpongeBob? Are you in danger? Wha-? Ok, I'm on my way! [Puts her coat on.] John! Come on! SpongeBob is in a mansion trapped with a killer!
Officer John: Awesome! I mean...That sounds...Awful...
[The scene goes to Mr. Krabs running into the main room of the mansion, the wallet monster is following so he blocks it into a room by slamming the door shut and blocking it with a chair.]
Mr. Krabs: Phew, finally. Back to the main room all silent and quiet. A True Christmas Eve...Phew...
[Officer Nancy smashes down the front door with a huge boot, she takes off the boot and walks into the mansion.]
Mr. Krabs: What t-!? [Gets tazered onto the ground by Nancy.] B-B-B-Ba-Ba-...
Officer Nancy: So, where is SpongeBob!? What have you done with him!? I have a weapon, and I'm not afraid to use it.
[SpongeBob and Squidward run into the room and look at Nancy.]
SpongeBob: It's ok! He's with us! The killer is somewhere else in this place...We need your help. And you know what that means...?
Squidward: We finally have someone to keep us company in this whole thing?
SpongeBob: Nope...Nancy, you know what to do!
SpongeBob and Nancy: We split up and look for clues!
Squidward: Generic horror movie cliche 2, the police are always idiots...
Officer Nancy: What was that?! [Tazers Squidward.] I wouldn't open that big mouth of yours again.
[The front door comes back up again and chains surround it.]
SpongeBob: Ok, we're fully stuck inside...Well, that isn't good...
[The scene goes to Sandy walking down a corridor, a creepy green goblin monster walks behind her and laughs.]
Sandy: Hello?....Is anybody there!?
[The Green Monster grabs Sandy, she turns around and smacks him around the face.]
Sandy: Will you stop following me!? What you're doing is harassment. You should not be doing this! Us women have rights!
Green Monster: Ok, ma'am'....[Starts to walk away.]
Sandy: Some monsters these days have no manners...[Walks around a corner, Squidward walks out of a door.] ...? Hello?
Squidward: Sandy! We've got the police h-! [Gets punched onto the ground by Sandy, he becomes unconscious.]
Sandy: Oh! Squidward...Um...Sorry....?
[SpongeBob runs up to Sandy and see's Squidward on the ground.]
SpongeBob: Hi Sand-! Woah! What happened to Squidward....?
Sandy: I don't know, I came through and he was just taking a nap...
SpongeBob: Yeah, that pretty much sounds like Squidward...
Sandy: So, have you found anything yet?
SpongeBob: I phoned the police, Officer Nancy is here right now.
Sandy: Where is she....?
SpongeBob: Oh, she's looking for the murderer on her own...
Sandy: What?! We need to save her! Come on! Never leave a Police Officer on their own in a horror movie!
SpongeBob: You're right! Nancy! We're coming for you!
[The scene goes to Officer Nancy inside of a room holding her gun. The room's wallpaper is coming down as she's in there.]
Officer Nancy: [Hears SpongeBob's Voice through the vents, it sounds deep and dark.] Coming for me!? Hah! I'd like to see you try! [Hears Noise Upstairs.] That's them...Come on out! It's the police!
[Officer Nancy starts to walk up the stairs, she looks around and gets to the top.]
Officer Nancy: Hello....? [The killer runs out of a room on her right and stabs her, she starts to fall back down the stairs.] ARGH!! ARGH!! [Smacks onto the ground.] N-No...
[The killer follows her down the stairs and stabs her again, he then hears footsteps coming towards the room and runs away.]
SpongeBob: [Runs into the room with Sandy.] No! Nancy! What happened?
Officer Nancy: I tried to be a hero...
SpongeBob: Nancy, come on. You can't die now, not like this.
Officer Nancy: Aren't you gonna say something other than that?
SpongeBob: Um, I don't know...Anything you do or say will be used against you in the co-?....
Officer Nancy: That isn't what you say when someone's dying.
SpongeBob: You're a cop though, I thought you'd like me saying that. Anyways, what do you say when someone's dying?
Officer Nancy: I don't know, something like you'll remember me?
SpongeBob: You've been stabbed by a killer, that's pretty damn hard to forget. Why would I have to tell you something so obvious?
Officer Nancy: Because it's a cliche!
SpongeBob: It isn't a cliche! Anyways, did you get a look at the killer, Nancy? Nancy...? Nancy.....!? NANCY!! NOOO!!
Officer Nancy: I'm trying to remember. From what I remember, he was wearing full black clothes and his face was unrecognisable.
SpongeBob: Don't worry Nancy...I'll avenge you...[Grabs Nancy's Gun.] I will shoot him with this!
Officer Nancy: That isn't a real gun...
SpongeBob: Wait, what?
Officer Nancy: It's a cake replica of my gun.
SpongeBob: Why are you carrying around a cake gun?
Officer Nancy: I was at a Christmas Party at the Station a few days back, someone made this for me. I must have misplaced it with my real gun.
SpongeBob: Then that means-...
[The scene goes to Randy Meeks with Stu Macher inside of The Police Station. They are police officers and they grab a gun off Nancy's Desk.]
Randy Meeks: Hey, watch this bro! I'm gonna mess around with Nancy's cake while she's not here! [Grabs the gun and puts it up to his mouth.]
Stu Macher: No! Don't do it! [Laughs]
Randy Meeks: Oh, I'm gonna do it. And you can't stop me! [Laughs] [Pulls trigger and shoots himself. He falls to the ground and dies.]
Stu Macher: Sick acting bro! Now let me do it! [Picks up gun] Here it goes!
[The scene goes back to the main story inside of the mansion.]
SpongeBob: Nah, that wouldn't happen...I mean, no one would do that would they Nancy?...Nancy?....Nancy!?
Sandy: She died like a minute ago when you was having that thought.
SpongeBob: Oh...Well, I'm chasing that killer down!
[SpongeBob runs into the kitchen to see the killer holding up a bunch of food from the fridge.]
SpongeBob: Hey! You! You've been a naughty boy this Christmas! And that means you're not on anyone's nice list! [Looks at the cupboard next to him, it has a knife and a banana on, he picks up the banana.] I don't want to use this!
[The killer drops the food and runs out of the room. SpongeBob chases after him and drops the banana onto the ground. He then slips over the banana and falls onto the floor with a comedic sound effect.]
SpongeBob: Really? Silly Sounds? That's it. No more Mr. Nice Sponge! You're going down buddy!
[The scene goes to Patrick in the snow land sitting down on a barrel, he has built a snowman next to him.]
Patrick: Well Jeffery, it's just me and you here. I guess we're just gonna have to wait...Just gonna have to wait...
[Patrick starts to get scared as he stares at the Snowman Jeffery.]
Patrick: Get ahold of yourself Patrick, you're better than this! [In his head.] I'm so hungry, gotta eat Jeffery's nose...
[Patrick shoots up from the barrel and starts to try's and eat the snow. It turns into water as soon as it makes contact with his mouth.]
Patrick: I can't do this! ARGHH!! [Grabs Jeffery's carrot nose and eats it.] Phew, food at last...
Jeffery The Snowman: ARGHHHHHH!! WHY DID YOU DO THIS!? WHY!? WHY MUST YOU PUT ME THROUGH THIS PAIN?! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU!?!?
Patrick: ARGHHHHHH!!
Jeffery The Snowman: ARGHHHHHH!!
Patrick & Jeffery: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Jeffery The Snowman: NOW YOU SHA'LL PAY!!
Patrick: Why would a snowman like you need money!?
Jeffery The Snowman: PAY WITH YOUR LIFE!!
Patrick: Oh. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
[We see Sandy walking down a corridor in The Mansion, Patrick smashes out from a door with Jeffery chasing after him.]
Sandy: ....Patrick!? A Snowman!? Hang on Patrick, I'm coming to help you! [Grabs a sword from a knight's armour which is in the corridor and chases after Patrick.]
[The scene goes to SpongeBob walking into a dark room, the lights are off and he feels around for the light switch.]
SpongeBob: Hello? Sandy? Patrick? Are you there!? Anybody!?
[We see this scene in night vision, the killer is standing next to the door and SpongeBob's hand goes up his face.]
Killer: Grrr....
SpongeBob: Is that you, Patrick? Patrick....?
[The Killer turns on the lights and smashes SpongeBob's faced with a frying pan.]
SpongeBob: Huh....? [Smashed in face with frying fan again.] Hey! [Smashed in face again.] Why...[Smashed in face] Are...[Smashed in face] Doing...[Smashes in face] This!? [Thrown onto the ground.] Hey!
[The Killer gets out a tissue, puts it up to SpongeBob's face and SpongeBob becomes unconscious. The Killer then picks him up.]
The Killer: Silly Fool...
[The scene goes to Patrick getting chased by Jeffery, Sandy runs up behind the snowman and stabs him with the sword, the snowman laughs and absorbs the sword.]
Patrick: Sandy! What should we do!?
Sandy: There doesn't seem to be a way to defeat him! He can just deflect karate and weapons do nothing!
[Sandy and Patrick run into a bathroom. They stand back against the wall and hug each other.]
Sandy: Patrick, I'm always sorry I was so hard against you!
Patrick: Sandy, I'm sorry I stole your diploma just to make myself look smart in front of someone once and then lost it...!
Sandy: [Pushes Patrick.] Excuse me, you did what?!
Patrick: Nothing...
Jeffery The Snowman: Time to die! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sandy: Wait a moment. [Grabs a hair dryer from the side and switches it on in front of Jeffery.] I have a hair dryer! And I ain't afraid to use it....
Jeffery The Snowman: No! Don't use that on me! Anything but a hair dryer! [Starts to melt.] Nooo!
Sandy: Tis' the time for this snow to go...
Jeffery The Snowman: NOO! I'm melting! What a world what a world....[Turns into a pile of water and dies.]
Patrick: [Cries] I-I'm sorry...But, he just had a very tasty nose...It's so sad to see him go at the hands of a hair dryer...[Grabs Sandy's flower and blows his "nose" on it, he then sticks it back onto Sandy's Helmet.]
Sandy: This is bad, I haven't seen or heard SpongeBob for a while now...It seems strange...Too strange...
Patrick: Pfft, he's probably fine!
[The scene goes to SpongeBob being carried into a basement by The Killer. The Killer puts SpongeBob down onto a metal panel, holds him down and laughs.]
SpongeBob: [Still Unconscious.] NO GRANDMA. DON'T BLOW IN MY BELLY BUTTON. AHHAHAHAAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!
The Killer: BE QUIET!!
SpongeBob: [Wakes up.] Huh? Wha-? Where am I?!
The Killer: Welcome to my lair!
SpongeBob: This looks like something out of Fifty Shades of Grey to be honest.
The Killer: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!? How dare you! [Smashes a bunch of glass test tubes.] Calm yourself...Calm yourself...
SpongeBob: Wow, you're just a real nut job, aren't you?
The Killer: NUT JOB!? NUT JOB!? I'm a Nut Job? Hahahahaha, you may be right. But how is that a bad thing? The best of us are crazy!
SpongeBob: Wow, you must be a great guy to hang around.
The Killer: I've been killing insects and animals since I was 7. And you know why?
SpongeBob: Let me guess, you was bullied in school.
The Killer: Yes, yes, how did you know?
SpongeBob: It's nearly every Villain's Backstory, but tell me this. When you was 7, you killed animals, isn't it quite obvious why you got bullied?
The Killer: HAHAHAHAHHAA!! MAYBE!! MAYBE!! But I can talk the demons in my head, I bet you can't.
SpongeBob: No, I can't say I can communicate with "demons" in my head. I guess I'm just not a psycho like you are.
The Killer: You want to know who I am? Of course you do! Well, I am...[Gets out a mini drum kit and starts to bash on the drums.] Toby FishnChips!
SpongeBob: Who now....?
Toby: Toby FishnChips, we went to High School together. I was the 'weird' kid.
SpongeBob: Oh, the kid that hung my up on the flag post outside?
Toby: No, the kid that put a corpse inside of your locker.
SpongeBob: Oh, that was you...!? Do you know that scarred me life?!
Toby: You should have seen the look on your face, it's unforgettable.
SpongeBob: Yeah, and when I saw the face on the corpse that was pretty unforgettable as well.
Toby: Hahaha, oh, it's so funny! It still cracks me up! Look, um...I've been talking to this demon recently, he's a good guy.
SpongeBob: Ok, and this has what to do with me?
Toby: I have been given the pleasure to hurt you, a lot. And by my standards, I want to kill you, I mean, what's more painful than death?
SpongeBob: How did you know I'd be here?
Toby: Think back to the start of the day, Sponge. Think back!
SpongeBob: You was the one who gave me the tickets! You planned all of this!
Toby: No, that wasn't me. I was just close by when that happened to be honest. So I came to this place and built my lair very quickly.
SpongeBob: Oh, well, good job on making a bunch of death traps so quickly.
Toby: Heh, thank you. That's very nice of you to say. Trust me, I didn't want to kill you. I thought the corpse was enough but whatever the demon says!
SpongeBob: No, this isn't you! Don't hurt me! [Toby flips a switch next to the machine SpongeBob is strapped to, the platform SpongeBob is on starts to very slowly head towards a pit of lava.] NOOOOO!! NOOOO!! NOOOO!! NOOO!! [See's how slow it's going.] Huh....?
Toby: WHAT? Why is this thing so slow!? I knew I should have bought the gun and just shot you to get it over with quickly!
SpongeBob: You really should have just bought the gun if you wanted to kill me...
Toby: Quiet Sponge, I'm going into the next room to power up that machine! And when I do power it up, you will go down into the lava slightly quicker! HAHAHAHAHHAA! What do you think of my villainous laugh by the way?
SpongeBob: To be honest, it's a pretty good villainous laugh, how long did it take you to perfect it?
Toby: Many days, many days. But thanks, I've never had the pleasure of killing someone so polite. You're really nice.
SpongeBob: Aww, thanks for that.
Toby: No problem, now, time to fix that machine in another room and keep no one at all in here to guard you! See you later!
SpongeBob: See you later! [Toby walks into another room inside of the basement.] Ok, I need to get outta this thing! Think Sponge, Think! [One of his arms breaks free from the straps, he can't break the others since they are metal bars.] Ok, I've gotta get outta this somehow!
[SpongeBob grabs a Walkie-Talkie from a close by table. He puts it up to his mouth.]
SpongeBob: Sandy! Sandy! Patrick! Patrick! Are any of you there!?
[The scene goes to Sandy and Patrick inside of a storage room, SpongeBob's message into the Walkie-Talkie comes out from a box.]
Sandy: SpongeBob?....I hear SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: [Voice Coming From Box.] S-Sandy! I-I-Is that you!?
Patrick: NO! SpongeBob has been turned into a box with the killer's evil powers!
Sandy: No he hasn't, there's something inside of that thing! [Karate Chops The Box Open and grabs a Walkie-Talkie which was inside of it.] SpongeBob, we're here!
SpongeBob: [Walkie-Talkie] Sandy! You need to help me! I've been captured by the killer! He's going to kill me!
Sandy: Where did he take you!?
SpongeBob: [Walkie-Talkie] Some kind of creepy sex dungeon in his basement. You've gotta help me!
Sandy: Basement? I've been all around this place and I haven't seen a basement!
SpongeBob: [Walkie-Talkie] Sandy! He's coming back i--!.....
Sandy: SpongeBob.....? SpongeBob, are you there? Oh no, this is bad. He's going to kill Spo-...Patrick, where are you...?
[Patrick jumps out from behind a box wearing a clown nose, rainbow bow tie and roller skates.]
Patrick: Introducing, the amazing Patrick!
Sandy: Really Patrick!? Take those things off. [Pulls the clown nose off.] SpongeBob is in danger and you're doing this!?
Patrick: I'm just trying to lighten up the mood a little...You are really serious when it comes to horror movie in real life situations.
Sandy: Patrick! Come on! We need to look for a basement!
[Patrick roller skates into the corridor, grabs a cane from a near by stand and starts to dance with the skates on.]
Patrick: It's the amazing Patrick! The amazing Patrick show! Tonight with our guest, a killer who is just like nearly every other horror movie villain!
Sandy: PATRICK!!
[Patrick jumps back, spins around with the roller skates and starts to skate backwards, he smashes down a door which was disguised as wallpaper.]
Sandy: A disguised door? Wow, Patrick...Your stupidity actually helped.
Patrick: [A bunch of his teeth fall out.] Yay...[Goes unconscious and smacks onto the ground.]
Sandy: It looks like it's just me left to help SpongeBob....For SpongeBob!
Patrick: [Still Unconscious] [Sleep Talking] For BobSponge. Heh, BobSponge...
[The scene goes to Toby standing over SpongeBob who is halfway close to the lava pit below him.]
Toby: I guess this is just the normal speed that this thing goes...
SpongeBob: Yeah, I guess it is...
Toby: Wanna pass the time by playing a game of sorts?
SpongeBob: Um, what like?
Toby: Guess the tune Christmas Style?
SpongeBob: Um, sure I guess...?
Toby: [Starts to hum Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.]
SpongeBob: That's Rudolph, everyone knows Rudolph. Remember every High School Christmas we would go out to the closest pub and get drunk and sing that? They were good times, very good times.
Toby: You never invited me to those.
SpongeBob: Oh, no, we didn't invite you...Well, this is awkward.
Toby: Well, I could make you unconscious for saying that but eh...I'm pretty damn lonely, this'll be the last talk I have for a while.
SpongeBob: I see, I see...
[Sandy runs down the stairs and enters the basement dungeon.]
Sandy: You! What are you doing with SpongeBob!?
Toby: Oh, me and him are just-...[Goes back to reality] Oh crap, I've screwed up now, haven't I?
Sandy: Free SpongeBob, just turn yourself into the police!
Toby: Ok, I'll go up to the police one day and go, I killed 3 people, I hope you're ok with that. Why would I do that?!
Sandy: I don't want to fight you.
Toby: Well, we both have different thoughts about this then I see...[Grabs the harpoon gun.] I will use this again!
SpongeBob: Sandy! Get outta here! I don't want you to get hurt...!
Sandy: Put that down, you don't want to hurt me. You aren't evil. You're just troubled. That's all. Put the harpoon launcher down.
Toby: No! I won't. You can't stop me you chipmunk!
Sandy: I'm not a chipmunk! [Pick's a dumbbell which is on a close by table and smashes it into Toby's face. Toby falls onto the ground and becomes unconscious.] Phew...Ok SpongeBob, I'll free you now!
SpongeBob: [Sandy let's him free from the machine.] Wow, thanks Sandy. You're the coolest person I know.
Sandy: Come on, let's get outta here and get the police here.
[Toby opens up one eye, presses the trigger to the harpoon gun and it flies into Sandy's helmet, the helmet smashes and Sandy falls to the ground, she becomes unconscious.]
SpongeBob: Sandy! No! You can't live like this! You're gonna die!
Toby: Hahaha...[Closes eyes and dies.]
SpongeBob: Sandy! No! Please be ok! Please! [Cries] Sandy! I don't want you to die! Not now, not like this! I never got to tell you that I'm-I'm in love with you!
[SpongeBob looks up at the roof, a light bulb from the roof is hanging down above SpongeBob's Head, SpongeBob grabs it.]
SpongeBob: Yes! I have an idea that might be crazy enough to work! [Grabs a glass bowl filled with water from a table and pours the water out.] Ok, here it goes!
[SpongeBob runs up the stairs, closes the door and absorbs all of the power inside of the room. He then removes Sandy's smashed bowl and puts the new one over her. He then pours the water back into the room.]
SpongeBob: [Breathing Heavily.] I haven't done that in YEARS. WOW!! That was...Dangerous! [Looks down at Sandy who is still unconscious.] Sandy come on! Sandy! Come on Sandy!
Sandy: [Opens eye.] S-SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Sandy! Yes! You're OK! Did you hear what I said?
Sandy: [Opens eyes.] N-No, what did you say?
SpongeBob: Nothing Sandy, nothing...I'm just glad you're ok. Say, do you want your flower? [Grabs the flower from Sandy's old helmet.]
Sandy: Um....Not really...
SpongeBob: Why no--? [Hand comes up from the flower with snot hanging from it.] Oh, ew...[Throws the flower onto the ground.]
Sandy: Heh, how about we call the police now?
SpongeBob: Ok then....That sounds like a good idea.
[The scene goes to the police arriving at The Mansion. They walk down into the basement.]
Officer John: So, that's the killer that killed Nancy?
SpongeBob: Yes, yes it is.
Officer John: Well then, he's going away FOR A LONG TIME!! [Hand cuffs Toby.] A LONG TIME.
SpongeBob: H-He's dead....
Officer John: Oh, ew...A dead body...Yuck...Get it away from me! [Kicks the Toby's body away from him.]
SpongeBob: Well, I guess we should go and have a break now. See you at The Krusty Krab, this has been one traumatic experience for me tonight.
Sandy: Wait a moment, we've spent all this time on Christmas Eve night stuck with a killer...
SpongeBob: At least we had a unique Christmas Eve. I mean, how many other people can say that? None, of course! We're special...! We're special...!
[The scene goes to Christmas Day inside of The Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and SpongeBob are sat around a table eating Krabby Patties.]
SpongeBob: Nothing like a relaxing Christmas Day eating Krabby Patties.
Mr. Krabs: These aren't Krabby Patties. These are Festive Patties!
SpongeBob: What's the difference...?
Mr. Krabs: The Festive Patty costs more!
[Fred walks into The Krusty Krab holding his heart, he looks at them, he is scared.]
Mr. Krabs: Hey, what are you doing!? Don't come crying to me about how the Triple Patty may have given you a heart attack, there's a pure good warning on there just in case you didn't know about that!
[Mr. Krabs points to the Galley Grub, next to Triple Patty there is a minute sentence saying "(May Cause Heart Attacks)"]
Fred: My Le--I mean, My Heart...! [Falls onto the ground and closes his eyes.]
SpongeBob: Oh no, it looks like he's been poisoned...!
Mr. Krabs: Well, I won't be having any dead bodies on my property on Christmas Day! Squidward, remove that body outta here this instance!
Squidward: I'm not touching that body!
SpongeBob: Gentleman, this is all part of my SAFE Murder Mystery act. Fred was lonely enough to take part. Here are your cards. [Hands out Cards]
Mr. Krabs: [Grabs a card on the table.] Ok, my card says "Read the Krabby Patty Formula Out Loud"!? What is this!? [Looks onto the ground to see Plankton writing a bunch of cards and sliding them into Mr. Krab's deck of cards on the table.] Plankton!
Plankton: What? It was worth a try...No? ....No?
Mr. Krabs: Since it's Christmas I won't injure you when throwing you outta me restaurant. Instead, I will make a new plan.
Plankton: W-What are you gonna do with me!? [Mr. Krabs picks him up.] Hey! Put me down you old crustacean!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, make a plan for our little pilot here.
SpongeBob: Aye Aye, Captain! [Turns the fake card into a paper airplane, he passes it to Mr. Krabs who puts Plankton inside of it.]
Mr. Krabs: [Walks out.] Ok, hold on tight! [Throws the paper plane up into the air, the wind blows it far into the distance.] Merry Christmas ya Pest!
Plankton: [Voice Heard from Far Away.] CURSE YOU KRRRAAAABBBSSS!!
[We go to Toby who is in front of the gates of Heaven, he is smiling and happy.]
Toby: Here I go, stepping right into Hea-...
[An angel walks up to him, the Angel takes off a mask and we don't see who it is in disguise as the Angel.]
Voice: You've failed, next I'll have to pick someone else in this town who hates them just as much! And I think I have someone picked for that role!
Toby: What are you going to do to me!?
Voice: Let's just say you're not getting into here!
[THE END.]
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