Live-Action PAW Patrol

PAW patrol(2069) is a live action film adapation of the spin master multi-billion dollar franchise created by keith chapman of the same name in order to milk the cow dry because spin master won’t bother to try and make anything original 
THE PLOT
one upon a time the paw patrol attempted to rescue and failed to rescue 4 turtles who crawled into some weird radioactive stuff as they already went down into the sewer then ryder got a call from mayor goodway(who is a man now I guess) told ryder that mayor humdinger is doing some weird shit.then the paw patrol went on a super fun adventure with lots of pop culture references and violence and then when the paw patrol found humdinger chase mauled humdinger and his goons:cock and balls.with humdinger literally fucking dead because he got mauled by a dog ryder went to sleep where he had a nightmare that paw patrol was some kind of merchandaise-driven multi-billion kid’s show on nick jr then ryder realized that paw patrol was in fact a kid’s show meant to sell toys to kids then suddenly PAW patrol’s creator:keith chapman appeared!he told ryder and his team of pups that PAW patrol wasn’t about sex or violence or pop culture references or even selling toys to kids who didn’t know better it was about making everyone’s day better.the paw patrol took it to heart and set out to make things right only to be kidnapped by blue and magenta from blue’s clues who were brainwashed who then took the PAW patrol to nickelodeon hq where ryder me a group of hooded figures who’s leader was…DORA!? dora then told them that their true purpose in life was nothing more than to sell merchandaise to preschool aged children and that the other nick jr shows wanted to destroy paw patrol and become relevant again so ryder and the paw patrol decidedto fight the other preschool nicktoons with the help of spongebob,patrick,squidward,mr krabs and plakton in their superhero forms from sponge out of water,the ninja turtles(who were the turtles at the beginning of the movie),garfield,el tigre,reptar,nigel thornberry,hugh neutron,krumm,the dino charge rangers and the smurfs.a great battle ensured resulting in ryder ripping the heart out of dora but then ryder remembered what keith told him earlier about making everyone’s day better so he put dora’s heart back in her chest surgeon simulator style and apologized causing keith chapman to appear and congratulate ryder and the paw patrol for learning their lesson by de-brainwashing the nick jr characters and having a huge orgy then we see a funeral where dora is being buried since ryder killed her and her heart wasn’t reattached properly and then we see a 20-something year old ryder in a straitjacket in a padded cell the doctor told him that nothing he experienced was real and that when he was just a kid he took a shit ton of LSD, Ketamine, Cocaine and bath salts making him experience a 10 year long drug trip explaining a lot actually like why there wasn’t any real police or fire department in adventure bay or how the dogs can talk
TRIVIA
rocky and zuma have very little lines.
skye says wow in every frame she is in
the teenage mutant ninja turtles use their 1987 designs
THE CAST
tom holland as ryder
chris pratt as chase
charlie day as marshall
shaquille o’neal as rubble
david hasselhoff as zuma
ben schwartz as rocky
owen wilson as skye(who has big tits for some reason)
morgan freeman as mayor goodway
will ferrell as mayor humdinger
michael cera and jonah hill as humdinger’s new goons “cock” and “balls”