Vic M. - Wildfire's Blog

==Victoria Marcus – Wildfire’s Blog==
This blog is generally a mix of racing topics, 3D art postings and a few blogs about things which bothered her, normally regarding her not-so-safe history with her father, who is never mentioned by full name. A few street racing videos would also be in place. Majority of her blog titles will be lines of lyrics from songs and none of them ever gave away her current location, IP always either blocked or a false IP in another country, all of them will show to be routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers if someone attempted to track them. Though she also shows a habit of saying where she's been but never where she is or where she's going. Real name is never released on the blog nor is any real information about her identity in her blog's account, only identifying item on the blog would be the video showing her on her bike during the races. The entries are listed chronologically, oldest first, newest at the bottom.
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==Where I lead you cannot follow. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 9-15-2019Time: 6:28 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Where I lead you cannot follow. . .Blog number: 01
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New blog new start huh? Not exactly. Well, I guess I should give a small introduction of myself then, shouldn't I? You won't get my real name in this blog, nor my locations, I have my reasons for this. I just go by Wildfire online, it suits well enough. I'm a street racer, yea, illegal shit, go ahead and make your ill informed judgments if you want, I've heard it all before, but do realize you are rather narrow minded if you think that's all there is to me, racing is just one aspect of my life, it is not my only focus.
I also fancy myself a bit of an artist, 3D art mostly which I really enjoy, in truth I enjoy it about as much as I enjoy my racing, even though most people barely glance over a render and go "Oh, pretty picture." before moving on, totally missing any symbolism in the work, but eh, I enjoy doing it, I'm not doing my art for praise, fame or anything like that, only because I find it enjoyable.
I'm a bit of a geek, I will admit it, I know my way around a computer almost as well as I know my way around an engine, but hey, where's the fun in only knowing how to do one thing, have to have something to do when I have down time after all because just sitting idle is so unproductive.
I'm no social butterfly, not even close, hell I get more interaction with people online than I do in daily life, I'll right out admit it. Think what you will of it but it works for me, well, mostly but I won't get into that on my first post, you'll probably figure out what I mean later if I keep up with this blog.
Anyways, I think that's enough for an intro. If ya got questions ask, I can't promise I'll answer all of them as there are some things I'll not release as public information, but you might get a few answers.
Later ya'll,
~Wildfire
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==You had to have it all, well have you had enough. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 9-21-2019Time: 6:19 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: You had to have it all, well have you had enough. . .Blog number: 02
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Had a bit of a race a few days back, not a big one even, something foolish in truth but the intention was reasonable enough, someone just wanted to have a one on one drag, hey, I was cool with that, from what I gathered he had just finished working on the car and wanted to have a test run with a little competition, though he's a new racer, obviously, he has some spirit to him. If he keeps at it maybe he'll enjoy it, just hope he doesn't become like the other guys, kid seems nice least, lets hope he stays that way. Either way I done left that town, don't know where I'm going to head to this week, likely just ride and see if I find anything.
Heh, I been called a drifter a few times, not really fond of the term. I'm not exactly homeless, at any time I could settle down, find a decent job in a mechanic shop, earn an honest, legal living, ah but then I'd be rooted to one place, be too easy to find that way.
Too easy for who to find? Well, my so-called father, the less I have to deal with him the better, I'm not afraid of him, even if I have a damned bullet still lodged in my chest from a few years ago because of him, I survived. I'm not exactly running as I am trying to avoid confrontation with him if possible, mostly because I don't feel like having to defend against another assault charge due to defending myself from him, sure, none of the charges stuck, it was self defense after all and the courts ruled it as such due to his history and eye witness accounts, but still, I just really don't want to have to go through another court case because of him, he's wasted enough of my time.
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==The saint within the sinner, I have lost the nerve, But it's all right. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 9-30-2019Time: 5:07 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: The saint within the sinner, I have lost the nerve, But it's all right. . .Blog number: 03
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==Don't tear me down. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 10-21-2019Time: 4:54 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Don't tear me down. . .Blog number: 04
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I'm starting to think I think too much. Mom finds it funny when I say that, normally saying "If you didn't think so much I'd start worrying about your sanity." but that's my mother for you, after all I did get my sense of humor from her.
But anyways, back to what I was going to say. Sometimes I do think too much, I think about the past, what I've seen, what I've done, what I've been through and, honestly, it bothers me a bit. I know it's not my fault, I didn't choose to have an asshole for a father, my mother didn't know he was a violent dick when she married him, she tried to endure it for my sake, I know that now, I didn't understand it when I was younger but I do now. I wish she hadn't, she didn't deserve it, those scars she has on her, she didn't deserve them any more than I deserved the scars I bear from him. I know many of the scars have faded away, but some were too deep, some will never fade, they'll always be there to remind me as much as I wish I could forget.
But if I could forget, would I really be who I am today? What I went through was hell, I have no shame in what happened, I was young, trapped, unable to defend myself at the time, and most of all it wasn't me who caused it, is wasn't my choice to be beaten I never decided to make him drink, I never chose to bleed because of him, he was the one in the wrong, the one who treated me like property instead of a daughter, and even though it was a living hell, I am proud to say I survived. That shit storm of a youth made me who I am today, made me a woman who won't back down, who will not allow herself to be beaten or pushed into submission. Made me someone who will never just roll over and die, I don't think I would be who I am today were it not for that hell. No, I don't think I would forget it even if I could, because if I did I wouldn't be who I am now, I don't even know what I'd be like if what happened hadn't occurred.
Does that mean it was alright for my so-called father to do what he did? Of course not, his unprovoked attacks can never be justified, his attempt to tear me down, to break my spirit and weaken me are inexcusable, but in the end, he only managed to do one thing and that's make me into someone who will never back down from him and who will never forgive him for his transgressions. Am I vindictive about it? Maybe just a little bit, but I'm logical enough to know that there's a right and a wrong way to do things, though I just rather do things my way when it comes to this situation. I am who I am, the past is the past, even if it hurts sometimes, I will be certain it does not repeat.
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==Can't you see their eyes, what lies inside. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 10-27-2019Time: 2:09 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Can't you see their eyes, what lies inside. . .Blog number: 05
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==Note to my 'father'==
Username: WildfireDate: 11-7-2019Time: 5:03 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Note to my 'father'Blog number: 06
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Enough of this, look asshole, I know you've sniffed out this blog by now peckerwood, you have a big mouth, you know that? You made sure she knew you were working on finding me, thought you won already didn't you? You forgot something, Mom's a damned good shot. Stop following her, I am tired of getting calls hearing my mother is in the damned hospital because of you. You want me so fucking bad? Come and get me, leave her the fuck out of it, she endured your crap for nine years, she's not your wife any more jackass, she's done with you! Let her fucking move on, you keep going after her to get to me, I know your deplorable ways, well guess what, I'll save you the damned trouble, I'm coming for you "father" (You don't even deserve the fucking title), you think you're the only one who can find people, guess again, besides, ya ain't that hard to find, ya never are.
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==Oh damn. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 5-9-2020Time: 12:29 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Oh damn. . .Blog number: 07
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Has it really been about five months since I updated this thing? Whoa, umm, well, shit happens I guess. For those who are wondering what happened after my last post, yes, I did go after him, or at least I tried to, seems he got a few new friends now, it was four against one. His buddies came after me, jackass ran like a coward after he saw me take two of them out, his third friend managed to keep me occupied long enough for him to get into his truck and take off, tried to follow and didn't have much luck due to his head start. Man, either his drinking buddies are getting more upper class or something's up, cause one of those little jerks he had with him had on a damned suit. Seriously, who fights in a suit? This isn't Final Fantasy 7, he ain't a damned TURK, who shows up expecting a fight to go down and wears a damned suit? It was Mr. Suit who was the last to go down, the other two were, well, one of them only came up to a little higher than my boobs and the other was lanky as hell, so they obviously weren't the most fight worthy of guys. I'm just glad no damned guns were pulled, yes, I had mine under my coat but was glad I didn't have to use it.
They were expecting me, I'm pretty sure of that, they were waiting outside when I pulled up, but how did they know exactly when I was going to be there? Unless my 'father' pulled a few connections to somehow track me when I got into the area and, knowing him, I know such tactics are not below him, but who the hell would he know who could pull something like that? He's just a mechanic, sure he might have some customers who are connected but THAT connected? It just doesn't make sense that he knew I was going to show up there that day. Figures he runs though, abusers don't like when their victims fight back, because when they do they hit back hard and with a vengeance, sure, he was a big 'tough guy' when I was too small to defend myself, seems he knows better than to underestimate me now.
Listen to me getting all riled up about it, yea, I wanted to tear into him and make him think twice about ever going anywhere near my mother again, if he would even be able to stand when I was done with him, but he ran, no need to get upset over it now, won't do any good, that was months ago after all, the house at the address I had found him at went up for sale very shortly after that afternoon, funny isn't it? So long as he thinks he's the one controlling the situation he thinks he's untouchable, but when things aren't on his terms he tucks his tail between his legs and runs, typical of people like him, he really is nothing but a child in his mentality after all.
He knows I have this blog, he knows how to find it, I know that now, but you know what? Why hide? He's just going to find the next blog I make and it'll repeat the process, no, I'm not cutting ties because of him anymore, it's my life and I'm going to live it, he can just go sit on a picket fence and spin for all I care, I think he knows now that I won't hesitate to go after him if I have to.
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==Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 5-11-2020Time: 3:50 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right. . .Blog number: 08
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Is it really so bad to remain mostly alone? I mean, I'm doing alright, I'm surviving, I may be lonely but I'm alive at least. Ugh, curse me mind, I can understand polygons, diffuse, ambient lighting, texturing, bump maps, occlusion maps, refraction, raytracing, rigging, D-formers, fuel grades, alloy density, lubricant composition, all kinds of things that have to do with mechanics, 3D programs, even a good many scientific debates and theories, but I just can't understand people enough to get close to them! Maybe I expect too much of them, I mean, I expect them to have a decent head on their shoulders which serves more purpose than decoration and to actually have a sense of humor instead of taking themselves too seriously, is that so much to ask? I mean, after all if you can't laugh at yourself what can you laugh at?
But no, it seems most with a sense of humor are too busy trying to be clowns to actually think and those who can keep up with me in conversation are too stiff to take a playful jab, I would for once like to be able to have a battle of wits with a well armed person if you get what I mean! Mom understands, mostly, I mean, she can't keep up with my knowledge but I did get my sense of humor from her. I really don't visit her as often as I should, Mom understands me at least, she knows my 'unique situation' as she calls it, something most don't understand, heh, so my brain's wired a bit differently so to speak, most can't seem to get that, she's the only one who does, then again, she is my mom after all, we might not always see eye to eye but damn I love that woman, my father may be the scum of the Earth but my mother, anyone fucks with her is going to have to deal with me.
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==Now saturate. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 5-23-2020Time: 1:12 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Now saturate. . .Blog number: 09
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==With nothing to gain, here's the clincher. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 5-30-2020Time: 7:57 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: With nothing to gain, here's the clincher. . .Blog number: 10
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Rather uneventful week, I shouldn't be complaining but, alas, part of me wants the excitement, but I have to rebuild an engine block now, she started knocking last night and, come to find out, a piston slipped, these things happen though. OK, it hasn't be a completely uneventful week, apparently my mother has a pet chicken now, yes, you read right, a pet chicken, I keep telling her that it'd make a good gumbo but she likes the little hen and wants to keep it as a pet, little bantam hen, she sent me pictures.
Ah, you can take a woman out the country but you can't take the country out the woman, like I got any room to talk, hell I grew up in the country, right smack dab in the middle of Cajun country to be exact, man I miss the food down south, nothing beats a good gumbo, well, unless you count a good crawfish boil. Great, the spellchecker is trying to tell me it's spelled "crayfish" sorry spell check but I grew up where those little suckers invaded your front yard with their little mud houses every spring and summer, it's not "crayfish" it's "crawfish" and it's good eatin'. People that weren't born in Louisiana might call them 'mini-lobsters' but I still say a lobster is a damned crawfish on steroids.
OK, I just went on a tangent there, whoops, my mind does that sometimes, starts on one topic, ends up someplace else entirely. Anyways, yes, my mother now has a pet bantam hen, I can tell you now, the way my mom spoils pets that chicken's going to end up being a feathered bowling ball in a few months, just watch, poor thing isn't going to walk, it's going to wobble after she's spoiled it. I'm just glad it's not a rooster, if it was I know it would have ended up becoming stew or gumbo after the first sunrise.
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==Do you want it enough? Do you want it at all?==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-5-2020Time: 5:08 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Do you want it enough? Do you want it at all?Blog number: 11
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Gearing up for another race tonight, just finished rebuilding my baby's engine block last night so she's good to go and purring as beautifully as ever, can't wait to hear her roar on the course tonight. A lot of people don't realize the work that goes into racing, into caring for and maintaining our vehicles, hell, a lot of racers don't even do their own mechanic work, those who do get a bit of respect from me though, well, least so long as they aren't jackasses.
When you come to rely on your vehicle like this, you know you have to take care of them, otherwise they won't take care of you when you need it, if they die mid-race it's your ass out there like a sitting duck and that is not a situation you want to be in with cars that can hit 200 zooming past you, I can tell you that now. I mean, things happen, yes, unexpected difficulties in a race, a piece of debris ending up flung up where it really shouldn't be, those things can compromise your vehicle, and at times compromise your safety if you aren't careful. Take care of them and they'll take care of you, just how it is, because keeping everything working smoothly leaves a lot less chance for a mechanical issue at a really bad time.
OK, maybe I'm a little sentimental with my bike, bike was my Mom's before she gave it to me, of course I'm going to make sure I take care of it. Mom still thinks I'm just a mechanic, I just can't bring myself to tell her I'm a street racer. She doesn't know the address to this blog thankfully. I'm just hoping one day I can tell her I'm doing honest, legal work to her face and not be telling her a half truth. Maybe some day, once other issues are taken care of.
Anyways, race tonight, half mile course, lot of turns too which will be fun, I've already ridden the streets of where it'll be taking place and there's a lot of things I can ramp off of, whole bunch of graded guardrails, we go right pass a construction area, that might be useful for me. There's one great thing about being a biker in a street race, and that's the fact the course can at times be your playground, after all, let’s see a car ramp a guardrail and keep going without any momentum loss.
They'll be videos taken at this one so I'll have those posted up tomorrow for those of you who want to see the action, catch ya'll later!
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==Of fast and restless blackmail, like pent up fetish force. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-6-2020Time: 7:23 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Of fast and restless blackmail, like pent up fetish force. . .Blog number: 12
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I was right, it was a fun one, had some decent competition out there tonight though, One guy damned near took me out, well, until I introduced his car to a decent size PVC pipe and its buddies. Man, I think I must have got at least 15 feet of air ramping off one of those guardrails, now that was worth the trip right there, it's little things like that I love about racing.
(Attached to this blog is a video of the race, a single red haired biker on a 1982 Honda Goldwing can be seen ramping off guardrails to overcome opponents, ramping off other cars and shattering their back glass, windshield and leaving a nice dent in their car roofs in the process as well as pulling a stack of PVC pipes down into the road and onto one car behind her as she made it pass the construction site.)
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==They say freak, when you're singled out. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-10-2020Time: 3:11 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: They say freak, when you're singled out. . .Blog number: 13
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I should know better than to try being social, seems I offended someone yet again just trying to hold a conversation. How did giving my opinion, which this woman asked for, offend her? She asked me if her dress looked good on her when it made her look like she was ready to smuggle an elephant into the building under that skirt, what was I supposed to tell her? I said it as politely as I could but she still got all offended and stormed off. If she didn't want my opinions she shouldn't have asked for it!
Seems that wasn't the only issue today, tried talking with another group who came up while I was at the coffee shop, trying to be social, yet again, we got talking about computers and the topic moved to 3D physics engines, apparently commenting on how they are even able to mimic natural breast movement in some games, like they did in Devil May Cry 4, made the group really uncomfortable for some reason. Why? It's 3D boobs! What is so offensive about that? At least I didn't mention the fact they rigged and animated Lucifer's penis in the Dante's Inferno game. Why does anything that has to do with nudity bother people? It just doesn't make sense, it's like some unreasonable modesty people have, never understood it and likely never will. Besides it's not like we were staring at video of it or anything, I just mentioned it and it is an impressive feat of technology, so what if it was breasts, it's just a body part after all.
I left after that, seems I'm just too offensive to be social, I don't even know why people find it offensive, I'm just being honest after all, no malice intended in my statements, just making an observation or giving my asked for opinion, what, do people expect me to sugarcoat things? What's the point, after all just being right out with what you want to say gets the point across quickly and clearly, no need to beat around the proverbial bush. Eh, I don't understand people, at this rate I have a feeling I'll never understand them, better to just not bother, not worth my time.
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==It filters through. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-11-2020Time: 4:20 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: It filters through. . .Blog number: 14
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==In this ever changing world in which we live in. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-13-2020Time: 8:57 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: In this ever changing world in which we live in. . .Blog number: 15
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==It's the same ol' story, same ol' song and dance my friend. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-15-2020Time: 1:32 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: IP from someplace in Russia (False IP, Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: It's the same ol' story, same ol' song and dance my friend. . .Blog number: 16
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Great, just great, I just got off the phone with my mother, that asshole, so-called father of mine got hold of her number, her new number which she just had changed two months ago, and started harassing her again. So much for that damned restraining order doing any good, cops can't find his ass, they've even tried to trace his calls before but they can't. I swear, if he goes anywhere near her I will be making a trip home for one reason and one reason alone, to put an end to his harassment and stalking for good. He keeps trying to find me but I don't stay put, so he goes after her, knowing her health makes moving around to avoid him difficult. If he got her number again then it's safe to assume he's either already got or close to getting her new address.
I'm tired of that man, I really am, I can't believe I share the same genetics as him, time and time again he keeps trying to go after her, he's only found me a few times, and let me tell you, he got more than he bargained for when he did, but Mom, she can't fight so well anymore, she use to be able to but age has been taking it's toll on her. Figures, she starts getting weaker with age and that jackass sperm donor of mine is still healthy as a damned ox, guess it's true, only the good die young, cause goodness knows that abusive mother fucker is likely going to outlive me at this rate.
Mom's going to be moving again because of this, she had just settled in too, she hadn't even been at the new house for six months but the calls and threats are becoming too frequent to risk it. I have to find a way to keep her safe, she tried to protect me the best she could when I was younger, it's my turn to keep her safe, thankfully I am able to move about the country freely, will certainly help if I do get a call from her saying she needs my help.
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==All is lost again, but I'm not giving in. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-16-2020Time: 2:24 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: All is lost again, but I'm not giving in. . .Blog number: 17
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Mom's safe, on of her friends took her in when peckerwood was sighted in her town, she's well out the city now so, least I know he can't get to her for now, especially since this friend of my mom's has a thing for shotguns, she has enough of a collection in that house to supply a small army, and my mom knows how to shoot and shoot well, so she'll be safe for now.
Thing on my end, eh, they're going about as unstable as ever, had another punk try to make a move on me, I swear, when will those boys learn that I'm just not interested in a guy with the IQ of an egg timer? This guy didn't even work on his own car, a friend of his was his mechanic, he didn't even know what 'NoS' stood for or half the names of the parts in his little Lotus that he seemed oh so proud of. So annoying that they think they can woo me with steroid abs and supped up cars. A car isn't anything without skill, and considering this guy was taken out the race only two minutes after leaving the pit, well, I think it's fair to assume he's certainly lacking in the skill department as well.
Why do I even bother? I know by now not to expect too much from the guys I race against, most of them are about as sharp as a bowling ball, every once in a while you find one who actually makes use of the gray matter in their skull, but, figures, those are always taken already. At least there was one other woman in the race tonight, was driving a Viper, she actually did pretty well, it was nice to not be the only racer with two X chromosomes for a change. Yea, you see pit girls all the time, those are just eye candy, most of them don't know anything about vehicles beyond what the back seat looks like, but, it was a nice change of pace to actually have another woman in the race tonight, went out for a couple drinks afterward and considering how many she knocked back, someone's going to have a hangover in the morning, so glad I only had a glass of wine, I learned from my first hangover, I do not want to ever repeat that one.
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==I will not fall.==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-17-2020Time: 12:02 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: I will not fall.Blog number: 18
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==I'd send the pain below. Much like suffocating. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 6-20-2020Time: 11:15 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: I'd send the pain below. Much like suffocating. . .Blog number: 19
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Yea yea, I'm listening to Chevelle again, I like their music and, well, couldn't think of a better entry title, as always, and used lyrics again. I spent a good amount of time thinking today, just where I'm going in life. I've always kept my distance from people, for one, because most racers don't have much respect for anything, though there's a few exceptions. Second off, well, when you don't stay in one place very long, what's the point? Always moving like this, only a few belongings I carry with me, man I wish I could just settle in one spot. Maybe one day, maybe then I'll actually be able to have some kind of social life, if I can manage to not make a total ass out of myself in the attempt. Ok, I'll admit, I'm not exactly the most socially graceful person around, and most the time I'll just keep to myself unless someone seems easy to approach or unless someone approaches me.
I started thinking you know, trying to figure out why I do this but, in the end, I think I figured out only one thing, I figured out I just don't understand people. I can understand a person but people as a collective is just something else entirely. I can watch people, observe them, read them to a degree, but understanding them and why they do what they do, that's beyond even my mental capability.
I know why I have trouble understanding people and society as a whole, but I won't get into that, it's far too complex to fit into a blog and honestly isn't something most would even care to read.
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==It's all and then it's nothing to me. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 7-04-2020Time: 4:12 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: It's all and then it's nothing to me. . .Blog number: 20
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Why do I race? I've been asked that so many times it's not even funny but no matter how many times I'm asked it does not void the validity of that simple inquiry. But the answer, ah, that is not as simple as the question.
Many racers are in it for bragging rights, a chance to show off, the prizes, and in the case of some of the males, a quick lay, rather deplorable reasons I think, shallow thinking for those who race for the reasons stated. But why do I race? Well, I would be lying if I did not admit that I enjoy the challenge, but that is not the only reason I race. The adrenaline is nice, it's a good distraction from my cluttered thoughts but that is not the only reason.
For me, I race for one singular reason: to feel alive for just that short time frame, to forget the past for just those few minutes, it may sound odd, and it no doubt is to some, but that is why I race. It gives me time to clear my head for just a bit, lets me keep my mind focused on one thing for a change instead of going through hundreds of different situations, variables, concerns and what have you. Of course I don't completely space out, I have to remain ready for anything but, it is a nice reprieve for me, allows me to focus on one primary task instead of dozens.
Of course that time of mental rest is only temporary, as soon as the race is over I'm right back at square one, living just to survive, no ultimate goal, just survival, but, at least I am able to claim a few minutes of life in this numbing existence, for now it'll just have to do, who knows, maybe I'll get lucky one day and actually find something really worth riding for. Until then however, I'll just keep racing.
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==I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 7-05-2020Time: 11:53 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear. . .Blog number: 21
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==Damned bars.==
Username: WildfireDate: 7-07-2020Time: 1:01 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Damned bars.Blog number: 22
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This is why I hate going to low class bars. Sadly decent, civil cafes aren't commonplace where I am right now, I went into one to use the damned bathroom and ended up in a damned fight, how you wonder? Well, I went in, saw one of these wanna-be macho jerks trying to push around the woman behind the counter, I was already having a bad day as it was, this was just the icing on the damned cake. Well, needless to say the night ended up getting slightly eventful, finally the bouncers made it through the crowd and managed to throw the caveman out the building, chick behind the counter was fine, little shaken up, but fine thankfully, cops didn't need to get called or anything so that's a plus, still, not something I expected to have happen today, and something I'd rather not have happen too often.
I just wanted to use the damned bathroom, is that too much to ask without having to knock someone's ass out in the process?
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==Fluid dynamics, so want a program that can do that.==
Username: WildfireDate: 7-11-2020Time: 2:54 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Fluid dynamics, so want a program that can do that.Blog number: 23
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The image above I did not make, this I found, but man, I wish I could get my hands on a program that can handle dynamic fluids, I hear Maya can handle NURBs pretty well which can mimic fluid movement, and that Poser and Bruce are really, really good for atmospherics. Ah but those are fricking expensive, maybe I'll be able to save up for one of those programs. I have Carrara which does pretty well for particle effects so it's something at least. You know, I wonder if a batch render setup with an animated bump map could serve as a work around to mimic fluid, of course it wouldn't be dynamic but, well, it's something at least.
Speaking of dynamics, I really need to do a retexture for that trinity coat I have, the model and rigging is great, the texture could use some work though. Well, I know what will be my project in the next few days.
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==Find nothing but faith in nothing. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 7-12-2020Time: 3:37 amLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Unavailable (Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: Find nothing but faith in nothing. . .Blog number: 24
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Yea, yea, using lyric sections for my blog titles again, it's 3:30 in the morning and I've been up for two days, deal with it. Anyways, had one hell of a race today, came out first, not a big deal, but I'll tell you, a few of those racers were out for blood tonight, but it happens, sometimes you just get those who only enter so they can take someone out and not because they enjoy the competition. I dealt with them however, their little sports cars didn't hold up to a 500 pound bike and a 160 pound rider coming down right in the middle of their cab roofs, I'll tell you that now, that's what they get for underestimating a racer who chooses to go against a bunch of cars with a motorcycle, don't underestimate bikers, we know how to use the agility two wheels allows us.
But either way, that was the last race in this area for a while, time to just move on the the next city for the next challenge, I hear there's a good race being put together to the west, maybe I'll hit it up, hopefully there's some decent challenges there, but that's just a maybe, need to replace my bike's clutch before heading anywhere, last race did it in.
Anyways, before any of you ask, yes, there is video from the race, it will be posted once I have left this town, as I will not release it while I am still in the area for obvious reasons. You'll see it when everyone else does. Anyways, I really need to crash before I pass out at my computer once again, so I'll catch you all later.
~Wildfire.
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==You know you're doing better on your own. . .==
Username: WildfireDate: 7-13-2020Time: 11:53 pmLocation: UndisclosedPosting I.P. Address: Some IP listed in Greenland (False IP, Any tracking attempts would show it had been routed through numerous foreign and domestic servers.)Blog Title: You know you're doing better on your own. . .Blog number: 25
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As promised, here's the footage from my last race in Knoxville, TN. I'm already well out of town by now and a good 700 miles away, so good luck if you're trying to figure out where I am or where I'm heading. Anyways, here's the footage promised, got all the highlights put together for you. Enjoy.
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(Attached would be the video mentioned, only one redheaded woman on a bike seen pulling off some rather tricky and risky stuff, including ramping off other cars, pulling of near hairpin turns with NoS active while contending with other drivers and using the surroundings to hinder her opponents by pulling loose items into the streets and playing her opponents against each other to get them off her back.)
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Category:FLAG
Category:Driver
Category:Knight Industries