Apsalar

The original name of the young fishergirl who became known first as Sorry, then as Apsalar, was never revealed. She was born in the Quon Tali province of Itko Kan and lived in a small village by the sea with her fisherman father, who was missing an arm. Their hut was close to the tidemark with a mooring pole opposite.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.24
== Physical Description ==
Apsalar was introduced as a young fishergirl, aged about 12 to 13.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1 She had long,Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 16 thick black hair and dark eyes,The Crippled God, Epilogue II tilted in the manner common to the people of Itko Kan.The Bonehunters, Chapter 1, US SFBC p.49
Two years later, her eyes were described as dead and stony. She often dressed in hardened leather armorGardens of the Moon, Chapter 11 and preferred leather gloves.The Bonehunters, Chapter 3, US SFBC p.113The Bonehunters, Chapter 6, US SFBC p.254 Her moccasins had sewn-in ridges of iron, giving them an extra punch when striking an opponent.The Bonehunters, Chapter 3, US SFBC p.112/117 She kept a score of knives on her person, their handles roughened for a better grip. 
== In Gardens of the Moon==
===Sorry===
Whilst observing a Malazan column of mounted soldiers passing on a gravel track roadGardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.12/16 near her village in Itko Kan, the young fishergirl aged about 12 to 13,Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.31 age estimated by recruitment Sergeant met the wax-witch and Seer, Rigga.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.12 As the soldiers passed, Rigga had a premonition that foresaw the girl's possession by a god. Seeing the injustice of this, Rigga wove a spell which gave the young girl some measure of protection.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.14
The young fishergirl found her life drastically altered after Cotillion possessed her.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.19 She lived the next few years under the alter-ego "Sorry" that Cotillion created.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.18 She never remembered her real name.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 16, UK MMPB p.493 The possession was visible in her eyes: despite her young age, she had aged eyes, those that were similar to one who had been withered by famine and death.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.32 They were also described as dead and stony.
Sorry's first move was to go to a Malazan recruiting station manned by Staff Sergeant AraganGardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.31 and enlist with the Malazan Marines, specifically requesting a post with Dujek Onearm's Host. She ended up being assigned to Sergeant Whiskeyjack's 9th Squad in the Bridgeburners.Gardens of the Moon, Dramatis Personae, UK MMPB p. xii Sorry was with the new troops arriving from Nathilog and joined the Bridgeburners when they were on a brief attachment to the 5th army in the middle of the Mott Campaign. She made a lasting impression – not a good one – when she mutilated prisoners, ostensibly to get information.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 4, UK MMPB p.159
After the battle at Pale, Whiskeyjack and his squad still referred to Sorry as the 'new recruit'Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 3, UK MMPB p.104 to indicate that she was not a fully accepted member of the Bridgeburners, even though she had been with them for two years.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 4, UK MMPB p.160 Whiskeyjack observed that Quick Ben was scared of her and that Kalam would slip a knife into his hand anytime she was near.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 4, UK MMPB p.133 Through her possession, Sorry was able to sense the opening of Warrens.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 12, UK MMPB p.402 Fiddler called her an 'uncanny bitch', referring to her uncanny ability to think things out.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 2, UK MMPB p.83 Quick Ben referred to her as 'pure evil' and was visibly frightened by her.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 4, UK MMPB p.133
At the end of the Siege of Pale, Sorry was about 15 years of age.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 2, UK MMPB p.58
When Quick Ben performed the soul-shifting on Hairlock, he kept Sorry away.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 2, UK MMPB p.82
Since the Itko Kan Massacre, Imperial Intelligence services had been following the trail of Sorry, but it was only just before (less than a week) the battle at Pale that Topper discovered she was with the Bridgeburners.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 3, UK MMPB p.94/95 Captain Ganoes Paran, who was already on his way to Pale, was given the order to assume command of the Bridgeburners and to stay close to Sorry. Once in place, he was to wait for further orders. Topper also told Paran that Sorry was being used by a god.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 3, UK MMPB p.96
Sorry/Cotillion attacked Captain Paran soon after his arrival in Pale. As Paran sank into unconsciousness, he overheard her talking to Ammanas in a Kanese accent.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 3, UK MMPB p.124
Sorry was wearing a non-standard, ankle-length raincape as the squad departed for Darujhistan with a hood which kept her face in shadow.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 4, UK MMPB p.159
Sorry surprised everyone when she professed to a knowledge of fishing, using her knowledge to help the squad enter Darujhistan disguised as fishing crew.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 8, UK MMPB p.259 Whiskeyjack divided the squad into two teams for the mission, with one led by Kalam and the other by Whiskeyjack himself. Sorry and Quick Ben were to be with Kalam.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 8, UK MMPB p.258 Kalam and Quick Ben, however, persuaded the sergeant that they would be better off without Sorry.Gardens of the Moon,Chapter 11, UK MMPB p.363
In Darujhistan the Malazans covered their activities by posing as regular road workers and tearing up the road outside Baruk's house, when Kruppe emerged. Sorry pointed him out to Whiskeyjack, saying that he was important. Questioned by he sergeant as to whether the man was perhaps a Seer, Sorry paled and was visibly shaken. Upon Whiskeyjack's agreement, she then followed Kruppe.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 11, UK MMPB p.361/362 
As she began the pursuit, Sorry was besieged by emotions, triggered by the word 'Seer'. Cotillion had to reestablish his hold on her as, for a brief time, Rigga's protection warred against the possession.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 11, UK MMPB p.3371/372
Following Kruppe to the Phoenix Inn, Sorry killed the thug Chert when he waylaid her at the door, possibly on Kruppe's orders. Chert then tried to seduce her.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 11, UK MMPB p.374 She entered the Inn and ordered Gredfalan Ale.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 11, UK MMPB p.376 She identified Crokus as being Oponn's man and Crokus noticed the blood on her daggers, correctly surmising that this girl killed Chert.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 11, UK MMPB p.377/378
Sorry then went to find Quick Ben and Kalam. Previously, she had been unable to sense the mage, but because Quick Ben had just been linked to the Shadow Realm, Sorry located them easily. This confirmed her affinity to Shadow to Quick Ben. Sorry told them she had located a local assassin in the Phoenix Inn.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 12, UK MMPB p.401/402
Sorry now followed Crokus. As she did, she pondered that she had removed obstacles like Paran, the Claw Leader in Pale, and others on her path to the Bridgeburners.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 11, UK MMPB p.417/418 The possessed girl was still troubled by the Seer's presence in her mind. Arriving at the D'Arle estate, she killed a guard and observed from the shadows as Crokus entered and left Challice D'Arle's room.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 13, UK MMPB p.418/422
Sometime after, Quick Ben called out Cotillion and told him that he knew of his connection to Sorry.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 15, UK MMPB p.463
Sorry followed Crokus and his friends by Warren to the Gadrobi Hills outside Darujhistan. She caught up with them just after they had encountered Adjunct Lorn and was about to kill Crokus when Cotillion ended his possession of her as he was recalled by Shadowthrone.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 15, UK MMPB p.467/468/474 The girl that was left behind was totally confused and could not remember the intervening years.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 15, UK MMPB p.483-485
===Apsalar===
Sorry was helped back to Darujhistan by Crokus. Having lost her memory, she asked Crokus for a Daru name. He originally suggested "Challice" but then decided that, since it was someone else's name, he should choose another. He then dubbed her 'Apsalar', the name of his matron goddess, the Lady of Thieves, but again changed his mind as it was the name of a goddess. The former Sorry disagreed and chose to remain Apsalar.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 16, UK MMPB p.490-494
Although no longer possessed, the experience left Apsalar with residual effects, including an ability to speak other languages,Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 15, UK MMPB p.484 see in virtual darkness,Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 19, UK MMPB p.566 and recall some of Cotillion's memories.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 20, UK MMPB p.589 
The slight presence of the soul of Rigga shielded Apsalar's mind from some of the things she did whilst possessed and stopped her from going to pieces when the possession came to an end.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 20, UK MMPB p.590Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 22, UK MMPB p.644
Crokus chose to try to protect Apsalar and decided to accompany her back to her village after his family was killed.
When Captain Paran assumed command of the Bridgeburners, Kalam and Fiddler declared they would follow him but that they must first help Apsalar back to her home on Itko Kan.
== In Deadhouse Gates==
Kalam and Fiddler planned to take Apsalar and Crokus to Itko Kan by way of Seven Cities.
When they arrived in Ehrlitan, Kalam saw an opportunity to weaken Laseen by sparking a rebellion. So he split from the group and the other three continued on in disguise. 
Apsalar continued to recall more and more of Sorry's deadly skill, knowledge, and instinct as time went on, and became very talented with her thick-bladed kethra knives.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 5, US HC p.127 She also experienced memories from the life of the god who had possessed her as well as the old woman who had protected her. From her account, the three managed to work out Shadowthrone and Cotillion's true identities.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 5, US HC p.129-130Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 16, US HC p.438 Meanwhile, Fiddler revealed to Crokus that the true purpose of their return to Quon Tali had been to assassinate Empress Laseen in revenge for her destruction of the Bridgeburners. Apsalar's returning abilities had been a factor Kalam considered as a potential Shaved Knuckle in the Hole.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 3, US HC p.92-93
After the awakening of the Whirlwind, the travelling companions were attacked first by a tribe of Gral and then found themselves caught up in a battle between Soletaken and D'ivers following the Path of Hands. They were saved by the appearance of Icarium and Mappo who drove off the D'ivers, Gryllen.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 6, US HC p.166-169Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 7, US HC p.192-196
Icarium and Mappo escorted them back to Tesem, a temple of Shadow inhabited by Iskaral Pust. Pust also revealed Fiddler's true destination, Tremorlor, the Azath House in the desert which Quick Ben believed held a gate which could take them to the Deadhouse in Malaz City. He also reassured the group that Anomander Rake's bane held and Cotillion would not possess Apsalar again.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 8, US HC p.222-224
It was revealed that Iskaral Pust's servant was actually Apsalar's father, Rellock. He had been placed in the temple by Shadowthrone and his arm healed the day Sorry had been taken by Cotillion. Pust attempted to use their relationship to manipulate Apsalar into becoming the Sha'ik Reborn. The High Priest sent Rellock to Tremorlor and Apsalar, suspicious of his true identity, followed after. Fiddler, Crokus, Icarium, and Mappo pursued Apsalar in turn.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 11, US HC p.295-296
Along with Pust and the Hounds of Shadow, the group fought their way through the maze surrounding the house.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 19 Then they entered Tremorlor and passed into the Azath Warren. Pust, Icarium, and Mappo soon disappeared. Fiddler, Apsalar, Crokus, and Rellock found themselves in the Deadhouse where they met Gothos, its guardian. Exiting the house into Malaz City they were reunited with Kalam by the shadow demon Apt. To Fiddler's surprise Kalam informed him that he had spoken with the Empress and their feud was over.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 23
Apsalar successfully petitioned Shadowthrone to return her, Crokus, and Rellock to their old home in Itko Kan and sever all association between them and the god.Deadhouse Gates, Chapter 23, US HC p.583-584
== In House of Chains==
Having travelled to her destroyed village and witnessed the death of her father, Crokus and Apsalar continued to travel alone across the continent of Quon Tali. In a bid to gain money and try to get closer to Apsalar, Crokus learned how to help her perform assassinations, and eventually become a skilled killer in his own right. He took the new name of "Cutter", which had the unintended affect of pushing Apsalar further away due to her revulsion at her own abilities.House of Chains, Chapter 6
Cutter was encouraged by Cotillion to secretly take Apsalar to Drift Avalii in order to protect the Throne of Shadow from an unnamed threat. Quickly realizing the deception, Apsalar was yet further pushed away from Cutter.House of Chains, Chapter 9 The two travelled by boat to Drift Avalii, where the floating island destroyed their vessel, leaving Apsalar on land, and Cutter sucked into one of the vortices leading to the center of the island.House of Chains, Chapter 9
Believing Cutter to be dead, Apsalar travelled inland only to find survivors of the Malazan Navy who had been marooned on the island after a brief confrontation with Tiste Edur naval units. Together, they journeyed to the ruins of the castle protecting the Throne.House of Chains, Chapter 9
There, Apsalar was reunited with Cutter and met the Tiste Andii, Andarist and plans were made to prevent the Edur from regaining the Throne. The ensuing battle with the Edur left only Traveller, Cutter, and Apsalar alive.House of Chains, Chapter 12
In exchange for their help, Cotillion eased their return to Seven Cities and the long journey to Darujhistan. Having returned to the monastery in Seven Cities inhabited by Iskaral Pust, Apsalar no longer felt she could safely travel with Cutter and decided she had to leave him in order to prevent him being further corrupted by her influence.House of Chains, Chapter 23
== In The Bonehunters==
Apsalar took on Cutter's burden and was assigned a list of targets she had to assassinate for Cotillion.The Bonehunters, Chapter 1
Travelling within a fragment of Kurald Emurlahn, she encountered two chained ghosts: Curdle and Telorast. The two ghosts convinced Apsalar to free them from their bonds and chose to accompany her. Since Curdle and Telorast had actually known Apsalar's namesake, the 'Lady of Thieves' (called either 'Apsalar' or Apsal'ara), they always thereafter referred to Apsalar (the assassin) as Not-Apsalar.The Bonehunters, Chapter 3, US HC p.96 
In Ehrlitan, Apsalar was to assassinate the Mebra on Shadowthrone's orders. She found him already assassinated, however, and killed the priest of Nameless Ones responsible.
She came across two Pardu women who were shareholders of the Trygalle Guild under Karpolan Demesand. Gleaning information from them, she also discovered tablets containing information on the Nameless Ones written by Mebra.The Bonehunters, Chapter 3She next took a small detour stopping off at Urko Crust's retreat.The Bonehunters, Chapter 4
Trying to cross to Kansu, she decided to travel by Kurald Emurlahn, and somehow came across a carrack and came out in the Malazan world on the ship Ganoes Paran was travelling on. The two discussed several aspects of the war taking place between gods, and exchanged several pieces of information.The Bonehunters, Chapter 5
Apsalar disembarked from the carrack along with Paran at Kansu and went westwards into Seven Cities coming across villages destroyed by the plagueThe Bonehunters, Chapter 6 until she met up with the surviving Bonehunters trying to catch up to the main army having dug their way underneath Y'Ghatan after the siege. 
Apsalar was present when the Hounds of Shadow attacked Poliel's temple at G'danisban. Since Shadowthrone had double dealt Quick Ben, throwing him in the way of the Hounds, Quick Ben who was busy rescuing his sister and in close proximity to Otataral could do nothing to defend himself. Apsalar created a massive distraction by Shadow-dancing and slicing up the hounds preventing them from attacking Quick Ben, allowing him time to escape, alongside Brokeface. She then returned to where the squads were, and earned the wrath of Kalam, who assumed the blood on her knives belonged to Quick Ben. Quick Ben arrived in time to save her from being killed, stating that she didn't try to defend herself and wanted to die.The Bonehunters, Chapter 15
The Adjunct decided to allow her to accompany the army to their ships, where they were ordered to return to Quon Tali.
She further received bad news from Cotillion when he lost touch with Cutter after the T'lan Imass ambush on his group. Believing him dead, she lost all hope and gave up on everything.
In Malaz City, she killed the Clawmaster, Pearl and three hundred and seven Claws singlehandedly. Shadowthrone himself said that her Shadow Dance was even more impressive than Cotillion's.The Bonehunters, Chapter 23
==In Reaper's Gale==
Although no longer travelling with Apsalar, Telorast and Curdle still used her as a touchstone. They referred to Lostara Yil as "Not-Not-Apsalar".Reaper's Gale, Chapter 16, US HC p.467
Her name was also invoked by Hedge in the Refugium, when he and Quick Ben tried to decipher Adjunct Tavore's plans in Lether. Hedge argued that Cotillion's possession of Sorry as a way of assassinating the Empress was illogical. Instead, he proposed that Cotillion and Shadowthrone had been thinking further ahead, and had planned for Sorry to be at Fiddler's side among Adjunct Tavore's forces when the Bonehunters challenged the Crippled God.Reaper's Gale, Chapter 21, US HC p.657-658
==In Toll the Hounds==
After returning to Darujhistan and failing at relationships with Scillara and Challice D'Arle, Cutter no longer believed it had been a noble act of courage and sacrifice to let Apsalar go. He felt he had made those decisions like a child, and since then had been matured by experience. At the same time, he realised she had shaped him in terrible ways. Cutter was a creation of Apsalar--a reflection of herself. But unlike Apsalar, he could not silence the anguish of delivering murder.Toll the Hounds, Chapter 23, US SFBC p.922-923 After concluding his business in the city, he left it behind to sail back to Seven Cities aboard Spite's ship. It was the first stage in a trip to reunite with the woman who he thought of as "the other half of his soul".Toll the Hounds, Chapter 24, US SFBC p.998/1000
== In The Crippled God ==
Apsalar was finally reunited with Crokus in her father's fishing village.The Crippled God, Epilogue II
==Trivia==
*Even author Steven Erikson does not know Sorry/Apsalar's given name when she was just a fishergirl. "I don't have her name. I don't know what her name is", he said in a 2020 interview. "The name 'Sorry' is, if anything, indicative of Cotillion's remorse at possessing her. Most people don't see it that way, but there's an element of that."Gardens of the Moon - Chatting with Steven Erikson, part 1 - See 27:00
==Speculations==
Regarding the Itko Kan massacre:
*The young fishergirl found herself out and about because her father needed materials for new nets - his last one was taken by 'something' in deep waters, and the catch, too. This meant that unless he made a catch the following day, Rellock would be in trouble with the money lender. Did Cotillion engineer the loss of the nets to put the girl on the road (to buy twine for new nets) where there would be few witnesses and to put her father in a precarious financial situation, making him more open to whatever Cotillion intended to suggest to him?Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.13/19
*The dialogue between Cotillion and Ammanas seemed to indicate that until Ammanas gave away Cotillion's name, the plan to possess the girl might not have been definite yet.Gardens of the Moon, Chapter 1, UK MMPB p.17
*The killing of the Itko Kanese cavalary unit by the Hounds may have been planned by Shadowthrone only, without Cotillion's prior knowledge.
==Fan art gallery==
<tabber>GM=
Sorry by Matt Smith.jpg|link=File:Sorry by Matt Smith.jpg|Sorry by Matt Smith
Apsalar.jpeg|link=File:Apsalar.jpeg|Apsalar by Grimhilde
File:Sorry by Sarinjin.jpg|Sorry by Sarinjin
File:Apsalar by enolezdrata.jpg|Apsalar by enolezdrata
File:Apsalar by Max Davenport.PNG|Apsalar by Max Davenport
|-|HC=
Andarist by dejan delic.jpg|link=File:Andarist by dejan delic.jpg|Andarist (center), Cutter and Apsalar by Dejan-delic 
Silence is raging by junalesca.jpg|link=File:Silence is raging by junalesca.jpg|Silence is raging Apsalar by Junalesca
|-|BH=
Apsalar.png|link=File:Apsalar.png|Apsalar after her Malaz City Shadow Dance by Rinserepeet
Clawhunter- Apsalar by Corporal Nobbs.jpg|link=File:Clawhunter- Apsalar by Corporal Nobbs.jpg|Clawhunter, Apsalar in Malaz City by Corporal Nobbs
</tabber>
==Notes and references==
de:Apsalar
es:Apsalar
pl:Żal
it:Apsalar
Category:Assassins
Category:Females
Category:High House Death
Category:Kanese
Category:Humans
Category:Malazans
Category:High House Shadow
Category:Rashan mages
Category:Ruse mages
Category:Mockra mages