小説家、筆を折る (Shousetsuka, Fude o Oru)

==Lyrics==
Japanese 	Romaji 	English
「折ると祈るは似ていますね」 	"oru to inoru wa nite imasu ne" 	“To break and to pray sound quite alike, don’t they?”
意味深に記し　当然　意味は無い 	imishin ni shirushi touzen imi wa nai 	I jot that meaningful phrase down; of course, there’s no meaning.
罰しては　法治国家が保てない 	basshite wa houchi kokka ga tamotenai 	If I’m punished for that, the state of law cannot endure.
 	 	
カットに嵌った　散文の懐紙 	katto ni hamatta sanbun no kaishi 	The prose-covered paper in my kimono slotted into the cut.
ダートを蹴った　葦毛の牝馬 	daato o ketta ashige no hinba 	My dapple-grey mare kicked the dirt.
ばらばら　小銭が散らばってく 	barabara kozeni ga chirabatteku 	The coins are scattered around here and there,
だらだら　スコッチ　溶けてゆく 	daradara sukocchi tokete yuku 	And the Scotch is sluggishly dissolving.
さらっと　だらっと 	saratto daratto 	In a forthright yet leisurely manner,
握りこむ　万年筆　「め」の払い　滲む 	nigirikomu mannenhitsu "me" no harai nijimu 	I grip my fountain pen and blot the sweeping stroke in め.
 	 	
「それじゃ　またね！」　事故に逢わせて消す 	"sore ja mata ne!" jiko ni awasete kesu 	“All right then, see you!” I erase you by having you meet a tragic fate.
登場人物達にとって　作家はいつだってさ 	toujou jinbutsutachi ni totte sakka wa itsu datte sa 	As far as the dramatis personae are concerned, the author is always
平和を壊す悪魔さ 	heiwa o kowasu akuma sa 	The demon who shatters their peace.
「今日も　おはよう！」　愛憎が一番人を　殺す動機になるらしいな 	"kyou mo ohayou!" aizou ga ichiban hito o korosu douki ni narurashii na	“As always, good morning!” It seems love and hate are my motive for killing the ones closest to me.
諦め顔で　文字の中　でもさ　僕はペン、握った 	akiramegao de moji no naka demo sa boku wa pen, nigitta 	With a face of resignation, even in the characters, I clutched my pen.
僕はペン、握った 	boku wa pen, nigitta 	I clutched my pen.
 	 	
自分を嫌いになることで　間違った行為を正当化した 	jibun o kirai ni naru koto de machigatta koui o seitouka shita 	I justified my misdeeds with self-loathing,
気付いていても　辞められない事ばかりだ 	kizuite ite mo yamerarenai koto bakari da 	But although I’m well aware of that, I just can’t stop.
夜な夜なと　湿った言葉を塗りたくろうか 	yonayona to shimetta kotoba o nuritakurou ka 	Shall I bedaub these lifeless words night after night?
丸い涙　ぽとぽと　インクのように落として 	marui namida potopoto inku no you ni otoshite 	I shed round tears like ink, wet and heavy,
「手に入らない苦しみ」こそ　正しいだろうか？ 	"te ni hairanai kurushimi" koso tadashii darou ka? 	For isn’t it precisely “an unobtainable agony” that’s honest?
 	 	
ウツボカズラの中だ　数多ある溶けた死体 	utsubokazura no naka da amata aru toketa shitai 	There are many dissolved corpses in my pitcher plant.
「やばくなったら出ればいい」　思っていたんだ　平気だって 	"yabaku nattara dereba ii" omotte ita nda heiki datte 	“Why don’t they just leave once the leaves start closing in?” I thought, not moved a bit.
後ろめたいことは　甘い蜜で　「僕だけは大丈夫だ」って言った 	ushirometai koto wa amai mitsu de "boku dake wa daijoubu da" tte itta 	A guilty conscience is like sweet nectar. “I’m the only one who’s all right,” I said.
 	 	
リアリティを追求するほど 	riariti o tsuikyuu suru 	The more they pursued reality,
どいつもこいつも地獄に落とした 	hodo doitsu mo koitsu mo jigoku ni otoshita 	The deeper anyone and everyone fell into hell.
あぁ　仕方ない 	aa shikatanai 	Ah, there’s nothing to be done about it.
 	 	
君が見てる 	kimi ga miteru 	You’re looking at me,
僕も見てる 	boku mo miteru 	I’m looking at you,
目が合っている 	me ga atte iru 	Our eyes are meeting—
「ごめん」 	"gomen" 	“I’m sorry.”
 	 	
「それじゃ　またね！」 	"sore ja mata ne!" 	“All right then, see you!”
痛みだけ　本物で　登場人物　は僕自身だ 	itami dake honmono de toujou jinbutsu wa boku jishin da 	Only pain is real, and my dramatis personae is composed of me, myself, and I.
生きても死んでも同じくらい 	ikite mo shinde mo onaji kurai 	Living and dying are approximately the same
愛すべき畜生だ 	aisubeki chikushou da 	For a lovable brute such as me.
 	 	
「それじゃ　またね！」 	"sore ja mata ne!" 	“All right then, see you!”
日常も自意識も　汚れていて　みれたものじゃないのに 	nichijou mo jiishiki mo yogorete ite mireta mono ja nai no ni 	Why is it that these memories I’ve recalled seem so clean
思い出した記憶達は　綺麗に見えるのは何でだ 	omoidashita kiokutachi wa kirei ni mieru no wa nande da 	Though the pollution of the everyday and of consciousness isn’t plain to see?
 	 	
「今日も　おやすみ！」 	"kyou mo oyasumi!" 	“And as always, good night!”
愛情が一番人を　生かす動機に出来るかな 	aijou ga ichiban hito o ikasu douki ni dekiru kana 	I wonder if love and affection can serve as my motive for keeping the people closest to me alive.
諦め顔で　口元を上げ　だから 	akiramegao de kuchimoto o age dakara 	The lips are curling into a smile on this resigned face of mine,
僕はペン、握った　君を描くみたいだ 	boku wa pen, nigitta kimi o egaku mitai da 	And so I clutched my pen as though to draw you.
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