RPTCOR

thumb|175px|This has nothing to do with this story, it's just a parody of The Lego Movie poster using PSA characters.
Created by Helmetpig2014
Written by Charlie the Penguin
Adapted by Gizmo the Chat Bot
Gizmo's adaption credit taken by Charlie
Hey guys! Since it is April 1st, I guess it's only logical that I make another random parody! This one was written by Helmet in script form, and I'm adapting it into an actual digital novel (albeit an extremely random one)! :D This is, as you'll probably guess, a parody of The Lego Movie. Only read if you have seen The Lego Movie, or never want to see it (you know who you are).
==Prologue==
Beyond the five dojos of Card-Jitzu, another mountain sits, hidden from public view. On it stands a majestic tower, taller and wider than anything you've ever seen in your life. Also, it's made of 69 large donuts stacked on top of each other, with a moat filled with molten hot donut glaze. How did anyone ever manage to create a such a structure? You'd have to ask the resident owner of the castle, Jimtruvius, or as most people called him, Jim. He built it with his bare flippers.
Jim was a young penguin, only 19 years old, but he had mastered the wizard magic of Donotus very early in his life. He had battled many outlaws and defeated them all. They all wanted the same thing from Jim- the Pie of Hypnosis. The Pie of Hypnosis was a large piece of pie, that when used correctly had the power to hypnotise everyone in Club Penguin to worship it.
Many years ago, a wizard by the name of Gwonam, a good friend of Jim's had discovered an evil element in pie. Panicked, all the citizens in Club Penguin quickly got rid of their pie and soon became addicted to cake instead, which they found actually tasted much better. Gwonam brought all the pie together and put it into a secret underground base under the island to prevent any further trouble. Somehow, the pie fused together underground over time, harnessing enough power to take over the mind of the most intelligent penguin there was, becoming the Pie of Hypnosis. The ginormous pie erupted from the ground, hypnotizing everyone into liking pie again. Luckily, Jim, using his staff of Donotus, managed to capture the pie, sealing it into a vault made of the one thing strong enough to hold it- frozen donut dough. Jim took the vault to his castle, hidden away from public so that no one could be hypnotized by it ever again. According to Gwonam, an over-addiction to pie could only lead to one thing- evil. 
And it did. There was one penguin who never became de-hypnotized, DJ Cadence, causing her to become evil to the point of maniacy. Along with her minions, The Penguin Band, Cadence vowed to capture the Pie of Hypnosis and re-hypnotize Club Penguin into once again becoming addicted to pie, and crowning her as the Queen of Pie (oh, and the island). 
Jim couldn't let her have the pie. He set rows and rows of overbearing diva pookies to guard the castle, but they all subsided (Cadence is the leader of the divas), leaving him defenseless.
Jim waddled over to the castle doors with his staff.
"She is coming," Jim muttered. "cover your tail feathers."
"What?" exclaimed Gwonam. "I don't believe I even have a tai-"
Suddenly, the castle doors were kicked open, tossing Gwonam into the wall and knocking him out. Cadence stepped out of the shadows and into the castle. Jim stared in shock. Cadence had gotten taller- way taller. She had made herself a pair of stilts out of thick slices of pie stacked on top of each other.
"Well, well, well," the mad DJ chuckled. "if it isn't my old pal Jimtruvius!"
"Lord Cadence..." Jim muttered.
"It's LADY Cadence, Lord is a male title!" Cadence yelled.
"Whatever," Jim replied. "Lord Cadence has a better ring to it."
Cadence ignored him.
"I see you have hidden the Pie of Hypnosis well, my dear wizard," she said sarcastically.
"Hmph! You're no match for the magic of Donotus!" Jim declared triumphantly.
Jim raised his staff into the air, harnessing the power of Donotus. He was about to fire at Cadence, when he heard from behind him, "Found it!"
Franky, Billy, Petey, and Bob had found the cake vault.
"Exellent work, my minions!" Cadence laughed, running over to them.
"Hey, get back here!" Helmet yelled, running after.
Cadence opened the vault, beholding the Pie of Hypnosis.
"MWAHAHAHA!" Cadence laughed evily. "THE PIE OF HYPNOSIS! NOW MY EVIL POWER WILL BE UNLIMITED! CAN YOU FEEL ME?!"
"Oh, yes! I can feel you!" said Franky, who had a huge crush on her.
"Don't touch me, Frank, it's weird," Cadence said, pushing Franky away with one of her stilts.
"Not so fast!" Jim yelled, holding out his staff, ready to strike.
"Oh, you look so adorable with your little toys!" Cadence cooed. "Sorry, but this one's for the big kids."
Cadence brought one of her stilts down on the staff and crushed it to pieces.
"NUUU!" Jim cried.
"Well, what do you know, it looks like I've finally won, Jimtruvius," Cadence laughed.
"It sure took you long enough..." muttered Petey K, earning a kick into the molten-hot donut glaze from Cadence. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Get back up here, Pete," Cadence said disapprovingly. We've got a island to hypnotize." And she turned to leave.
"Wait! Jim said. "There was a prophecy!"
"A prophecy?" asked Cadence. "Oh come on, that is so two centuries ago!"
Jim's eyes lit up, becoming blinding lights, as they did whenever he talked about a prophecy for... reasons? I don't know.
"One day, a cake-lover with the will to fight
A special one, with feathers of white...
"That sounds racist..." remarked G Billy.
...Will make the Cake of Resistance known
From its hiding refuge in the snow
And with his friends prepared for a fight that's worthwile
He'll thwart the pie and save the isle
And they'll be the greatest, most interesting, most imortant penguins of all time,
Everyone'll believe this, because this rhymes."
The light finally died down, allowing Jim to see again. Cadence and her minions were gone, and so was the cake. Angry, Jim rubbed his eyes.
"Maybe I need to get these things checked out..."
==Chapter 1: Over 9,000 Minutes Later...==
"Ah, good morning, igloo!"
Charlie James Baker stretched and hopped out of bed.
"Good morning walls, good morning floor..."
Charlie was a young arctic white penguin who lived in Penguintropolis, the biggest (and only) city on Club Penguin. He was different from most penguins...
"Oh, good morning to you too, bookshelf!"
...very different.
Charlie lived in a quite unremarkable village, in a quite unremarkable neighborhood, in a quite unremarkable igloo. Basically, he had the most boring life ever. He didn't see it like that now, though, but that was mainly just because he didn't know any less.
Charlie reached into his bookshelf and pulled out a small booklet. He read the title aloud, just like he did every day.
"Ah, Instructions on How to Make Pie Taste Good if You Can't Stand it at all!"
As you can probably guess by now after reading that title, Jim had never retrieved the Pie of Hypnosis back from Lad- you know what, he was right, Lady Cadence sounds stupid, let's just refer to her as Cadence from here on out. So anyways, Cadence used the Pie of Hypnosis to hypnotize most of the population into favouring pie over cake. However, there was just a small number of penguins who still perfered the taste of cake somehow, which eventually prompted Cadence into outlawing it entirely.
Charlie read aloud from the book:
"Step 1: Realize that this is a huge waste of time and have a nice breakfast of cat puffles."
Charlie screamed and tossed the booklet into the fireplace.
"Maybe some TV will do me well," Charlie said, picking up his remote. He clicked on the TV to see an interesting news report.
"This just in," said the news anchor. "Lady Cadence likes cat puffles in her cereal!"
Charlie screamed again and threw his TV out the window.
After a hearty breakfast of dog puffle cereal, Charlie waddled into his bedroom and destroyed his bed using a large, conveniently-timed sledgehammer. Where the bed had been was the enterance to an EPF-style tube transport. As soon as he ordered a new bed online just as he had to do every day, he opened the hatch and jumped in. The raido system that had been installed in the tube transport began to play Cadence's hit song, "Best Day Ever".
"Oh my gosh I love this song!"
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
When we're all together
Best Day Ever!
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Just keeps getting better
Best Day Ever!
Below the island was the pie factory. It made all the pies on the island. Cadence had it built underground so that production could literally be as big as the island itself. Everyone who worked there had a tube transport installed in their igloos so they could get down fast and easily. As the penguins worked, Best Day Ever continued to play over the loudspeakers.
Dance off with all our friends
And I hope this never ends
You know, it's the time of, time of my life
Raise your hands up to the sky
And turn the volume high like
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
When we're all together
Best day ever!
"Hey wait a second, what on earth is a hand?"
==Chapter 2==
"Hey, do you ever wonder where all this pie we're making goes to?" Charlie asked his co-worker Adam. They were both part of the whipped-cream department and it was their job to whip the cream so hard that it flew onto the pies as they passed by on the conveyor belt with their handheld fans.
"To our customers I guess," Adam replied.
"Yeah, but where does it go before that?"
"I dunno, a packaging system?"
Gwonam, who now worked at the pie factory as a slave, flew over to Charlie on his magic carpet.
"Greetings, Charlie. Mr. Plot Convenience, the manager, requests that you fetch a new package of cherries from the basement. I will handle your shift until you return."
"Okay," Charlie replied, handing Gwonam his whip and trying not to let the obvious plot convenience in this chapter bother him.
Charlie walked down the stairs to the basement and picked up a new box of cherries when he heard a mysterious (and rather loud) voice from behind him.
"CHARLEEE..." called a high-pitched voice.
"Hello?" Charlie called back. "Is someone there?!"
"CHARLEEE..." the voice called back, even louder this time.
"What? What do you want?!" Charlie called with a slight tremble in his voice.
Charlie was about to dismiss the voice as just the wind (even though he was underground) when suddenly, a pink female penguin and a blue male penguin appeared out of nowhere after a huge flash of light.
"CHARLIE!" they shouted simotaniously.
"GAH!!! Who the fudge are you?!"
"My name is Gary!" said the blue penguin.
"And my name is PixieLil!" said the pink penguin.
"Hang on, what's your name?" Charlie asked.
"PixieLil?" the pink penguin repeated.
"'Pixie Lil'?" Charlie asked. "So, literally, on your birth certificate, it says 'Pixie Li'-"
"Uh, why don't you just call me Pixie?" the pink penguin interuppted.
"Uh... okay... so, uh.. what was I saying?" Charlie asked.
"You were about to accuse us of almost giving you a heart attack," Gary replied.
"Oh yeah... wait, how did you know?"
"Because, we're from the future, Charlie!" Gary replied cherfully.
Charlie realized that they were both wearing very obvious time travel gear.
"In the future, the world is in peril!" Pixie added.
"All that is good has become consumed by evil!" Gary continued.
"THE END IS NIGH... NIGH!!!!!" they both shouted, disappearing in another large ball of light.
Charlie suddenly had a very weird vision.
When his vision ended, Charlie sat up and looked around, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. On the wall opposite from him sat a small object. Curious, he waddled over to it to get a closer look. It was shaped like a slice of pie, but it was yellow and had pink frosting.
"Is that... cake?!"
Charlie hadn't seen cake in a very long time. He had almost forgotten what it had looked like.