108706-mmo-gamer-parents-and-their-justifiable-hobby

== Content ==
			
Hey All!
 
I normally don't start threads in the forums but im extremely slow at work today and had a co-worker bought up a question i've been hearing for going on 15 years as an MMO gamer.
 
"Don't you get bored of just sitting at home every night and playing your games"?
 
And my answer is always a resounding "Hell no!" I can spend 20$ a month on an MMO and occupy my time playing with long time friends i've met over the years and be completely content with that.
Or..... I could go out to the pub every weekend blow hundreds of dollars over the period of that month and be mad as shit the next morning that i cant find my phone and Wendy bags, napkins and french fries strewed across my living room.
(Dont get me wrong I live in Wisconsin, drinking is tradition,  so i always reserve at least 1-2 nights a month goin out with the boys for this type of thing :P).
 
I'm a 32yo 50/50 dad of a 7 year old son (joint placement with mom). I work in IT as a sys admin on a typical 40hour 9-5 work week, not a huge salary and on a tight budget.
I started playing MMO's back in '99 when EQ1 came out and Holy Crap! I spent probably 10 hours a day, every day.... grinding that game for about 2 years (pre child obvioulsy...).
 
Since then I've played just about every mmorpg since (excluding WoW, because if your a true EQ junkie you don't F around with that garbage..), and a question that has always come up is "how can you sit at home all weekend and play games, don't you want to get out? Do Stuff?. And my answer is not really.
 
I've always been a people person and wouldn't consider myself an introvert, seeing as i have to deal with people face to face everyday working for a small company in the IT dept and i find my job very rewarding.
The days i have my son we will go out and catch a movie or head out to the park, kick the soccer ball around, play some skylanders, then i'll hop on my game of choice after he goes to bed.
 
Being a parent gamer you just need to manage your time better.
 
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this anymore but i was just curious if some of you other long time MMOers/Parents have gotten this question, and if you consider gaming a hobby just like any other endeavor.	
----
			Isn't it either play games or watch TV? Which is better than the other? MMOs would seem better. And yeah, play as long as you are OK with getting interrupted. My kid's away in college, wife is downstairs watching TV and playing Candycrush, so I get lots of gaming time.	
----
			
{| class="blockquote"
Isn't it either play games or watch TV? Which is better than the other? MMOs would seem better. And yeah, play as long as you are OK with getting interrupted. My kid's away in college, wife is downstairs watching TV and playing Candycrush, so I get lots of gaming time.
----
			
So, when my current wife and I met, she was an avid WOW player and I had never even played an MMO of any kind. Lots of RPG games and the like, but I used to mock my friends who played EverQuest (EverCrack) mercilessly for their "stay home, boring-ass hobby."
 
But as with many relationships, she wanted to share her love of the game with me, so I got a subscription.
 
I have two children of my own and she has one. At the time, the youngest was four and the next eldest was 6. It was easy back then to come home after work/school, take care of the little one's and settle into gaming after bedtime. Time (years) go by. The kids are growing up and requiring more attention, so gaming slowly starts taking a back seat. Eventually, the youngest is 8 and we've got sports, Scouts, spelling bees, camping trips and all kinds of stuff going on. Our "raiding days" came to an end and our game time became a rarity until eventually we just stopped altogether. No hard feelings. It was just time to focus on family.
 
Now, I've played a couple of games since then, but the wife had more or less just given up gaming and taken up knitting and watching Castle on television. However, no matter how much I'm enjoying myself, I have continued to refuse to be "hardcore" again. I don't need that in my life. I have a stressful job, kids, a LARPing club I've belonged to for over 20 years, minis to paint, animals to care for and a hundred-thousand other, more life-fulfilling things to do other than play video games.
 
When I got into Wildstar beta last Summer, it was the first time in like 7 or 8 years where I actually felt that old feeling creeping back. The good news is, my eldest daughter is now grown and left for college. My son is about to be 14 and he's engrossed in D&D and Minecraft. The little girl is 11, she loves Pokemon and just got her own Minecraft account so she and the boy can build their world's together. I can finally feel like a good dad again when I game for 10 hours on a Saturday - because I know the kids are now well-adjusted, have friends and interests of their own, don't need me to babysit them and can even make their own food without burning down the house.In short, I can play games again because I've done a good job being a parent and a husband.
 
It always enrages me beyond words when those stories come out about parents who've been arrested for neglecting their kids to play World of Warcraft. Those people don't deserve to have children *OR* video games. If you've lost a boyfriend/girlfriend over video games, you're in the same boat. If you've lost a job because of video games, you are a hopeless excuse for a human being and should probably seek help immediately. Basically, if you choose a virtual, digital, pixelated life over the real thing - you're not only doing it wrong, you're making the rest of us look bad.	
----
			
What's really awesome is when they get old enough to play alongside of you!
 
 
My situation was similar to you. My son lives with his Mom, but now we can hang out in game sometimes too!
 
My son on the left ;)	
----
			Good post. As a single parent I find myself in the same boat. However I do make it a point to have a social life, hit the gym, and get out whenever I can. No one digs a monitor tan, a big gut, or cheeto stains. But If you can balance game time and RL well then why the *cupcake* not?	
----
			
{| class="blockquote"
So, when my current wife and I met, she was an avid WOW player and I had never even played an MMO of any kind. Lots of RPG games and the like, but I used to mock my friends who played EverQuest (EverCrack) mercilessly for their "stay home, boring-ass hobby."
 
But as with many relationships, she wanted to share her love of the game with me, so I got a subscription.
 
I have two children of my own and she has one. At the time, the youngest was four and the next eldest was 6. It was easy back then to come home after work/school, take care of the little one's and settle into gaming after bedtime. Time (years) go by. The kids are growing up and requiring more attention, so gaming slowly starts taking a back seat. Eventually, the youngest is 8 and we've got sports, Scouts, spelling bees, camping trips and all kinds of stuff going on. Our "raiding days" came to an end and our game time became a rarity until eventually we just stopped altogether. No hard feelings. It was just time to focus on family.
 
Now, I've played a couple of games since then, but the wife had more or less just given up gaming and taken up knitting and watching Castle on television. However, no matter how much I'm enjoying myself, I have continued to refuse to be "hardcore" again. I don't need that in my life. I have a stressful job, kids, a LARPing club I've belonged to for over 20 years, minis to paint, animals to care for and a hundred-thousand other, more life-fulfilling things to do other than play video games.
 
When I got into Wildstar beta last Summer, it was the first time in like 7 or 8 years where I actually felt that old feeling creeping back. The good news is, my eldest daughter is now grown and left for college. My son is about to be 14 and he's engrossed in D&D and Minecraft. The little girl is 11, she loves Pokemon and just got her own Minecraft account so she and the boy can build their world's together. I can finally feel like a good dad again when I game for 10 hours on a Saturday - because I know the kids are now well-adjusted, have friends and interests of their own, don't need me to babysit them and can even make their own food without burning down the house.
 
In short, I can play games again because I've done a good job being a parent and a husband.
 
It always enrages me beyond words when those stories come out about parents who've been arrested for neglecting their kids to play World of Warcraft. Those people don't deserve to have children *OR* video games. If you've lost a boyfriend/girlfriend over video games, you're in the same boat. If you've lost a job because of video games, you are a hopeless excuse for a human being and should probably seek help immediately. Basically, if you choose a virtual, digital, pixelated life over the real thing - you're not only doing it wrong, you're making the rest of us look bad.
----
			
{| class="blockquote"
Since then I've played just about every mmorpg since (excluding WoW, because if your a true EQ junkie you don't F around with that garbage..), and a question that has always come up is "how can you sit at home all weekend and play games, don't you want to get out? Do Stuff?. And my answer is not really.
----
			
{| class="blockquote"
It always enrages me beyond words when those stories come out about parents who've been arrested for neglecting their kids to play World of Warcraft. Those people don't deserve to have children *OR* video games. If you've lost a boyfriend/girlfriend over video games, you're in the same boat. If you've lost a job because of video games, you are a hopeless excuse for a human being and should probably seek help immediately. Basically, if you choose a virtual, digital, pixelated life over the real thing - you're not only doing it wrong, you're making the rest of us look bad.
----
			Well put Tex! I completely agree with you. Family/Friends, Job and quality of life always come before gaming :)	
----
			
I'm not a parent but I get this question at work as from not just co-workers, but my students too...
 
I'm not a parent so I can't say I fully understand, but I've raided with parents, and I grew up with gaming parents who always told me that games are fun and enjoyable especially with others, but unless you're getting paid to play them your life shouldn't revolve around it.  
 
I honestly think I lucked out with the parents we had and our general raiding core  and guild, because when we did do raids parent things happen...kids run into a wall, fall out the bed, set the house on fire.(that last one is unfortunately true). We had no issues with taking breaks in raids to let parents take care of their kids like putting them to bed, making sure they're okay, etc...We all didn't mind and did raids and any content with the mentality "it is all just a game and nothing more". It was a bit funny because anytime we did yell at eachother it was "DUDE! IT'S FINE GO LOOK AFTER YOU SON/DAUGHTER", "WTF MAN GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!", or my favourite was "Well....if you don't want to give your girlfriend attention I'd be glad to"
 
My gut wrenched the most when I sometimes had a parent apologize to the raid for having to go take care of their child. I understand that they'd feel they were holding people up, but it's your kid! Theres no reason to apologize to us ever for being responsible, loving, and caring for your child. Theres hundreds, thousands, if not millions of games out there to play, but your child is one of a kind. 
 
I feel to a degree though it carries over to ALL people...Wildstar doesn't pay my bills, Wildstar won't get me a job, Wildstar doesn't cook my food. 
 
When I get asked that question though I just smile and reply...
We all have our own idea of a good time, for me working and living in a world that just never shuts up its nice to just kick back, relax, and enjoy my free time.
 
 
Anyway I'm probably ranting so hard I missed the pint, but I agree...	
----
			Thanks, but the only help I needed was to not have that job any more. Coping mechanisms are a thing. :angry:	
----
			
No one asks me about it. I take the kids out and we do stuff. I run all the errands and pay my bills. I take time to watch cartoons with the kids all the time. I pretty much only watch cartoons these days. Haha 
 
But my kids play games too. Minecraft and Club Penguin, Plants vs. Zombies, SimCity and Terarria, etc. And someday they will probably play with me. Looking forward to that. 
 
It's just like any hobby and if you can balance your life it's no ones business.	
----
			
Not many people understand that gaming is a hobby. Thankfully my wife-to-be does. Hopefully the turn will come eventually.
 
Though if I could make gaming a career, I probably would in a heartbeat. Though I think the income disparity would be pretty severe.	
----
			
{| class="blockquote"
Isn't it either play games or watch TV? Which is better than the other? MMOs would seem better.
----
			
{| class="blockquote"
I'm not a parent but I get this question at work as from not just co-workers, but my students too...
 
I'm not a parent so I can't say I fully understand, but I've raided with parents, and I grew up with gaming parents who always told me that games are fun and enjoyable especially with others, but unless you're getting paid to play them your life shouldn't revolve around it.  
 
I honestly think I lucked out with the parents we had and our general raiding core  and guild, because when we did do raids parent things happen...kids run into a wall, fall out the bed, set the house on fire.(that last one is unfortunately true). We had no issues with taking breaks in raids to let parents take care of their kids like putting them to bed, making sure they're okay, etc...We all didn't mind and did raids and any content with the mentality "it is all just a game and nothing more". It was a bit funny because anytime we did yell at eachother it was "DUDE! IT'S FINE GO LOOK AFTER YOU SON/DAUGHTER", "WTF MAN GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!", or my favourite was "Well....if you don't want to give your girlfriend attention I'd be glad to"
 
My gut wrenched the most when I sometimes had a parent apologize to the raid for having to go take care of their child. I understand that they'd feel they were holding people up, but it's your kid! Theres no reason to apologize to us ever for being responsible, loving, and caring for your child. Theres hundreds, thousands, if not millions of games out there to play, but your child is one of a kind. 
 
I feel to a degree though it carries over to ALL people...Wildstar doesn't pay my bills, Wildstar won't get me a job, Wildstar doesn't cook my food. 
 
When I get asked that question though I just smile and reply...
We all have our own idea of a good time, for me working and living in a world that just never shuts up its nice to just kick back, relax, and enjoy my free time.
 
 
Anyway I'm probably ranting so hard I missed the pint, but I agree...
----