The A&W Turmoil

The A&W Turmoil is the first episode of The SpongeBob and Papa Tarrant Show. The episode was aired on June 15th, 2024, and was written by KMJ.
==Transcript==
[The episode begins with SpongeBob in Krusty Krabs, relaxed, making krabby patties for customers while listening to Drake's new hit song with his white headphones)
Drake in SpongeBob's headphones:
♪Ay, Kendrick just opened his mouth
And I'm bout to put my dick in it right now
Then I put it in his ass
Now he running butt naked all over my house
I’m bout to make him gay tonight
Backshots with both of my hands in his mouth
I know that he want it for real...♪
SpongeBob: Nothing but a stimming and relaxing song! krabbie patties, krabbie patties, krabbie patties, krabbie patties...
[The scene cuts to confused Mr. Krabs talking to Squidward]
Mr. Krabs: I haven't seen SpongeBob that happy before in ages! Last time i saw him happy was in somewhere with the sea cucumber...
[Flashback with SpongeBob being frenzy happy, making miliards of Krabby Patties]
SpongeBob: RATATATATATATATATATATATAT!
Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB CALM THE FUCK DOWN! THE FRYERS IS GOING TO FUCK EXPLOD-
[The fryer explodes with fire]
[End of flashback]
Squidward: I don't know man... seems like the cheeseball finally found shit to enjoy
Mr. Krabs: AYE! Don't talk like that to SpongeBob! He's our finest and dandiest worker on our restruant! Unlike you....
Squidward: Yeah.... glaze on him knowing best that you'd sell him for a penny!
Mr. Krabs: I wouldn't sell him for anything! [Lies]
Squidward: Bull-shit! You'd literally sacrifice someone for a fucking iranian rial!
Mr. Krabs: Comment one thing about me or you're getting a beating of your LIFE!
Squidward: Try me! Greedfuck!
[SpongeBob still making krabby patties, while Squidward gets absolutely beaten the shit out of Mr. Krabs with a belt. Squidward's screams in agony are covered with Drake's song]
[SpongeBob goes to Bubble Bass and gives him his "Deluxifically-Prepared beak of pepper, ore of onion, side of salad, fling of petite fromage, with a sider crust, quint of quinoa, kell of kelpoat, tackled tasmanian leaf with a dimple of the ranch spike, pinched fleuntly with french sea salt and compressed with iron delectably by a 05 Type Metallic Heat Compressor, chopped carefully ear of corn, dipped with sea ketchup and honey custard sauce with vegan truffles and graham's gluten, sliced on the decky with a joe, dipped in a ire of the pleast, added yeast the beast on a teast with the wheast, handled with a buckle on the horn, with the corn on the croun, buck shotted on the trope with a sea turf tore, and finished with the bun of the flammable filatte conquistodora with a sider of a nymphically torted 1980s Hailey Hansworth's split-beans pasta on the ramp" Krabby Patty. Bubble Bass inspects every element, aspect, component, quark, mineral, spice, extraornament and every type of the ingredient with Hornshoe's spectre and Pulley's Diox-d'-Ox'e Radio. After doing culinary inspecting bullshittery, Bubble Bass gets mad and stares at the relaxted SpongeBob with his earphones]
Bubble Bass: NO-PICKLES!
[SpongeBob dosen't give a fuck, cause he's still listening to Drake. Bubble Bass, furious, snatches his earphones from his head and throws it directly at Mr. Krabs, giving him a concussion and making him stop beating Squidward]
Squidward: Th-h-ats what yo-o-u get, gre-e-e-d f-u-u-u...-u.... lard.... *Collapses*
[SpongeBob, after his headphones are snatched, quickly changed his expression from relaxed to pissed. He then stares back to Bubble Bass, eye-by-eye, rotted by the rye]
SpongeBob: Don't act like you don't shove your PICKLES up your *Dolphin squeal*
[Everyone in the restruant gasps in shock by SpongeBob. Bubble Bass, extra furious, stands up from his seat, glaring with his demise on SpongeBob within the rise]
Bubble Bass: What... did.... you... SAY!
SpongeBob: Ayeee..... SAID!... DON'T-ACT-LIKE-YOU-DON'T-SHOVE-YOUR... PICKLES! UP-YOUR-*Dolphin squeal*
[Everyone even scared, quickly form a circle away from both Bubble Bass and SpongeBob]
Bubble Bass: [Furious] Let me tell you, that YOU.... don't want to mess with ME! *pokes his thumb on his chest repeatedly*. My greasy, flabby arms are the same arms i strangled Ronny the Robster, dunked on Fishy Cadooster and slapped a mad mobster! Ill.... touch my greasehands on you skin.... and RIP THEM OFF! Ill eat your skin... ILL EAT IT!
SpongeBob: *approaches to Bubble Bass with a serious demeanor* Do it! Slither me with the grease! Smother me with your flabs! You wouldn't even get the GIST out of it, sweatlard!
[The audience gasp]
Bubble Bass: My anger thermostat has been broke! I see red..... I SEE RED!!!!!!!!!
[Battle unleash! SpongeBob woke the beast!]
[Bubble Bass, highly furious, tries to slap SpongeBob with his sweaty hands, but due to intense furiousity, he spins. SpongeBob pushes the spinning bass to the entrance door, managing to destroy the door and spin away through the Chum Bucket, causing a large explosion in the Chum Bucket due to Bubble Bass's high temper anger]
SpongeBob: *inhale and exhale 3 times* Sorry folks, he he... i... uh... i...... NEED TO GO BACK TO HOME
Mr. Krabs: *wakes up, petrified* SPONGEBOB NO-!
[SpongeBob rushes to his home chanting "IM READY, IM READY" in a fearful tone]
French Narrator: SpongeBob's trip to house later...
[SpongeBob enters his house, sweating and huffing-puffing, needing more air. Papa Tarrant, Patrick and Gary Duonier are playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 2]
Papa Tarrant: *placing his controller down and quickly turning his back on SpongeBob* S-SpongeBob! What happened!
SpongeBob: Not now! Mary! Toss me a Root Beer!
[Mary the Snail grabs A&W Root Beer and throws it to SpongeBob, which he catches]
SpongBob: Thanks Mary!
Mary: *winks as a sign of graditude*
[SpongeBob opens the can and drinks the root beer]
SpongBob: Ahh... what a taste!
[SpongeBob throws away the can to Gary Junior, which he eats it]
SpongeBob: Whats that jar filled with lots of coins and bills?
Patrick: Oh... thats a swear jar for Gary Duonier!
SpongeBob: Like a normal one, right?
Patrick: No.... a slur one...
SpongeBob: slur for gays and jews! right?
Patrick: *shakes his head*
SpongeBob: Gary Duonier! What did i tell you about saying the N word! We've been through this! We even assigned a 6+ star therapist!
Gary Junior: Could have assigned "The rapist"
SpongeBob: Not now Junior...
Patrick: Didn't the therapist encourge him?
SpongeBob: No?
Patrick: Im pretty sure in the waitroom there was a song that carpet bombed n words...
Gary Duonier: Nice!
SpongeBob: Duonier!
Papa Tarrant: Was my ass tweaking or did i thought about the black slur?
SpongeBob: No... but i wish i was joking about xenoassigned swearwords...
Patrick: What's that?
SpongeBob: Is when another specie is forbidden to speak a word from another specie because its assigned as a swearword
Patrick: Oh
Gary Junior: *throws up pieces of the can*
SpongeBob: Now that i think of it.... Who wants to go to A&W
[No one raises the hand, except for Papa Tarrant and Gary Threenior]
SpongeBob: No, Gary Threenior, you have diarrhea, you know what happened last time?
Gary Threenior: *sad murmuring*
SpongeBob: Anyways, me and Papa Tarrant are going to A&W, so you better behave!
Gary Junior, Duonier, Threenior, Mary and Patrick: Alright!
[SpongeBob and Papa Tarrant hop on a highly modified shopping kart, made to look like a car, and drive off, while the rest in SpongeBob's house start a fight club and beat the shit out of eachother to death, except for Mary because she's recording the fight. While driving the shopping kart, SpongeBob accidentally runs over Fred's leg.]
SpongeBob: Whoops!
Fred: No worries! I can't feel my legs no' more!
[A bug bites his tibial nerve]
Fred: MY TIBIAL NERVE!
French Narrator: 5 minutes later
[SpongeBob and Papa Tarrant finally drive off to A&W. They both leave the shopping and go to the A&W inside. They then go to the A&W Cashier and they both give orders]
Papa Tarrant: Me first, i'd like a cream soda and Corn Dog Nuggets!
A&W Cashier: And what about you, SpongeBob *says frowningly*
SpongeBob: I'd like 20 root beers, 10 number 1, 20 number 2, 10 number 10, cheese curds and a personal handshake from the Great Root Bear!
A&W Cashier: Im afraid we can't fullfil any of these orders above
SpongeBob: Why not?
A&W Cashier: Well... first off, we're out of root beer
SpongeBob: WHAT!
A&W Cashier: Second, we don't use the number one number two sayings
SpongeBob: HUH?
A&W Cashier: Third, we dont have 20-10 of the things you want
SpongeBob: Seriously!?!
A&W Cashier: Fourth, we dont have cheese curds...
SpongeBob: Now thats messed up!
A&W Cashier: And fifth...
SpongeBob: HUH?
[The screen zooms to the A&W Cashier's mouth saying the following words}
A&W Cashier: We don't have the Great Root Bear, and we'll never have!
[The screens then cuts to SpongeBob's mad thermometer being broken from enough of anger]
SpongeBob: Now THAT'S BUUUULLLSHIT! You can fulfill 3/5 of those!
A&W Cashier: No, we can fullfil 0/5 of your fullfillments, cornball
SpongeBob: ALRIGHT! THATS IT! TIME TO DO THE JUMP-ATTACK-THE-JUDGE ATTACK!
Papa Tarrant: No!
[SpongeBob jumps into the cashier and starts beating him]
A&W Worker: SECURITY!
[The security escorts mad SpongeBob from the A&W. While escorting, the cashier throws a hard-cooled root beer can straight to SpongeBob's face]
SpongeBob: Alright B*Dolphin squeal*, im going to pull my blicky!
[SpongeBob quickly snatches the security's gun and manages to shot the triad. The shots the first security by the un-armed chest, then the second security by the throat, and the cashier to the head, chest and leg]
SpongeBob: Fuck! Papa Tarrant! Come here! Im going to fix it by my Time Travelling device!
[Papa Tarrant quickly comes to SpongeBob and they both activate the Time Travelling device, sending them to the time they where at home with the rest gang]
SpongeBob: Phew! Without the device, i would have been arrested! Now if yall excuse me, im going to church to repent
Papa Tarrant: Alright
[SpongeBob hops onto the shopping kart and drives to the nearest church]
Patrick: What the fuck just happend?
Papa Tarrant: Im not in the mood to explain....
[The episode cuts to the scene of SpongeBob confessing for his sins to Father Julius]
Father Julius: My child, this is a grave sin you have confessed, and it weighs heavily on my heart to hear it. The taking of a life is a serious offense against God's commandments and the sanctity of human life. However, no sin is beyond the mercy of our Lord, and it is my duty to guide you toward seeking His forgiveness and making amends for your actions.
Firstly, you must turn yourself in to the proper authorities. Justice must be served in this world as well as in the next. By doing so, you show genuine repentance and respect for the lives you have taken.
Secondly, I will impose a penance to help you seek God's forgiveness and reflect deeply on your actions. You must pray the following prayers with utmost sincerity:
# The Act of Contrition - Recite this prayer three times daily for the next month. This will help you express your sorrow for your sins and your desire to repent.
# The Rosary - Pray the Rosary every day for the next three months. Meditating on the life of Christ and the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary will help guide you toward a path of redemption and peace.
# The Chaplet of Divine Mercy - Recite the Chaplet of Divine Mercy every Friday for the next year. This devotion will remind you of God's infinite mercy and the hope that even the gravest sins can be forgiven if one truly repents.
Additionally, engage in acts of charity and service to the community as a means to atone for your sins. Volunteering at a shelter, helping those in need, and offering your time to assist others can aid in your spiritual healing.
Finally, my son, seek ongoing spiritual guidance and counseling. This journey of repentance and forgiveness is not one you should walk alone. I will be here to support you, and I encourage you to attend regular confession and Mass.
May God grant you the strength to face the consequences of your actions and the grace to find true repentance and forgiveness. Remember, His mercy is boundless for those who sincerely seek it.
SpongeBob: Amen
[The scene cuts to a drone-shot of the church slowly zooming. Then the scene goes gausian blur with white text saying "This episode has been sponsored by the Knights of Rutherford Jr. and Catholic Organisationary of the Caspian]
[The episode ends with black. roll the credits]
Category:2024
Category:2024 Episodes
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Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:KMJ
Category:KMJ Studios
Category:The Spongebob and Papa Tarrant Show