FaRtaL Chpt 33

==From a Ristar to a Lady - Chapter 33 -==
<<Previous Chapter - Return to Story Index - Next Chapter>>
----
===The most powerful expression of resentment===
De Gaulle Opera Theater
Innerman City, Inman
Milligan PDZ, Woodbine Operational Area
30th July, 3061
1200 hours (2000 hrs on local 28 hr cycle)
“Seriously, what is this nonsense?” Anastasia almost shouted in annoyance.
“Ana!” Venice chided. “Shhh, quiet!”
“Come on, this is ridiculous.” Anastasia slouched into her seat, fuming. “This guy should be confessing his love right now!”
On Venice’s other side, Selina Seydoux was largely succeeding in holding in her laughter at Anastasia’s scathing live commentary. Since the Day of Honor, she had quickly recovered from the fright of that day, helped along by the mental resilience of youth and the support of her friends. She had also thawed towards Anastasia, and now hung out quite frequently with the other two ladies, and they were often joined by the other ladies who were at the tea party, members of what Anastasia internally had categorized as ‘Venice’s Clique’.
Anastasia continued to rant, “Why doesn’t he summon up the courage to say how he feels? He’s just hiding and watching her! What is wrong with him?”
“Ana, pipe down!”
The performers on stage were moving around, the female lead singing while the male lead peaked out from behind a curtain, but in a manner obvious to the audience.
“When is he going to stop hiding how he really feels about her? And why is he peeping at her from behind? So creepy!”
“Pffft!” Selina could not hold it in anymore, and burst into audible giggles.
“Lady Seydoux, not you too!” Venice lamented. She quickly turned to Anastasia. “Ana, this is a performance of one of the most famous and popular operas ever.”
“Urrgh, I seriously can’t stand it. Even shopping for jewellery would be less painful than this.”
“You really hate it that much,” Venice coaxed her gently. “At least try to focus on the plot, the story is reaching its climax soon.”
“Urgh…” Anastasia groaned, trying to clamp down her irritation. She should have thought twice before joining Venice for the opera. But she had never been to one, so no harm trying it, quiaff?
It was some inane love story about an unfortunate man who fell in love with a female noble, set against the Davion Civil War, before even the Star League was formed. Judging by the packed house and that many in the audience had already seen it before, according to Venice, it was very popular.
Anastasia just could not understand exactly why it was popular. If this was the sort of pap served up to Spheroids, it was a miracle they were not more addle-headed than they already are!
Both leads were on stage now, singing their hearts out, the female main character still oblivious to the male character’s feelings, while the male character bemoaned his fate, to fall in love with the woman he had grown up with, who just viewed him as a sibling instead of a romantic partner.
The man tried to embrace his love, but she soon pulled away because she did not understand his feelings. As she turned away, he drew his gun to shoot her in the back, crying that he wished their embrace had lasted forever.
Incensed, Anastasia could not stand it anymore, “You dirty st…”
“Ana!” The rest of her clan epithet was thankfully cut off by Venice’s desperately stretched hand grabbing her mouth.
After the show was over, Anastasia was still fuming, pacing the hallway as the ladies stood around chatting with one another.
Venice sighed. “Was it really so bad you had to start cursing in the midst of the performance?”
“It was absolutely trash,” Anastasia griped, “If this is how operas are, I’m never watching one ever again.”
“But Ana!”
“Oh no no no!” A man’s voice called out to them. “Not all operas are like this one!”
That voice… The ladies turned to see Raymond Haynes strut up to them.
“There’re operas about lots of different stuff. There are the traditional Italian ones, of course. Then the more contemporary ones after humanity’s exodus from Terra, like the one you just watched. Their plots can be very diverse!”
Venice, polite as ever, curtseyed to him, quickly followed by the other ladies as they took her lead. “What brings you here, my lord?”
“Ahh, I snuck out of the palace in secret to watch the opera, of course! Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to focus on it since listening to Lady Kalinska’s running commentary was too entertaining!”
That annoyed Anastasia, and she glared at him in response.
“You seem to be in a bad mood. Perhaps because the ending was so tragic?” Raymond smirked, “I can empathize. I also tend to feel a bit out of sorts after seeing a tragedy. But there’s nothing wrong with occasionally using sadness as a form of entertainment, don’t you think?”
He continued, “Couldn’t such a heartrending love-hate relationship also be seen as a beautiful tragedy?”
Anastasia clenched her fists, trying to clamp down on her anger. “I don’t know… can tragedy ever be considered beautiful?” These Spheroids were so addled by their weird notions that they could not even think properly!
“Pardon?” Raymond blinked.
“It’s the story of a pathetic man who chose to murder a woman who’s too good for him because he felt inadequate in comparison to his romantic rival.” She ground out. “It’s not a tragedy caused by one’s family or by duty to one’s country, but rather a tragedy of his own making.”
A chill ran through the gathered nobles at Anastasia’s assertion.
“Well, you’re not wrong,” conceded Raymond. “But my lady, don’t you think that man also had his reasons? One often tends to become a coward with things they hold dear.”
“What?” Anastasia was getting really annoyed with these Spheroids and their twisted logic. She recognized her own upbringing in the Clans as being very different, since people of the Clans tended to be direct in their affections, and the very idea of being cowards with things they treasure was alien to their culture. That said… “So you think he was justified in killing someone that dear to him?”
“Death…” Raymond tried to explain, “...is the most powerful expression of resentment. Both in fiction and real life.”
“Meanwhile,” Anastasia countered firmly, “that poor woman was deprived of her life and her future simply because he wanted to express his resentment. How does that even make sense?”
“Oh…” Raymond blinked. “When you look at it that way, he did create the tragedy himself. I’ve never thought of it like that before. Interesting… this was a very enlightening conversation.”
“Goodness, I’ve never considered it from that angle either,” said Venice, deep in thought. “Come to think of it, Luskin Redford spoke about something similar in one of his poems.”
Raymond’s eyes lit up. “Are you referring to his new book? The one you purchased at the bookstore the other day?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
The conversation thankfully veered away from the opera to discussion of literature Raymond and Venice both enjoyed.
Anastasia still could not let go of the torrid emotions flooding her though. It was just an opera, but the story of a man who loved a woman yet was not able to confess his love, and then he had the temerity to resent and then kill her for his own failings? That was all kinds of messed up.
And of course, the reason why it resonated with her was the manner of the woman’s death - shot in the back. Just like the last moments of Avryl Showers.
Sigh… I am exhausted from all this thinking and reminiscing. All I want to do is go home and rest. She could feel a throbbing headache coming on.
“Ana!” Somebody called out.
She turned and was surprised to see Finn walking up to her. For once, he was not dressed in the dress uniform of the military, but rather a nondescript jacket.
“There you are.” he smiled at her.
“What’s this?” She felt a twinge of suspicion. “Have you been stalking me?”
“Woah!” He held up both hands, “Didn’t you message me a few days ago that you would be attending the opera with Lady Codina?”
“Oh…” Aff, she did. But then again, how did he know which opera she would be watching? There were a number of other shows at the same time… She failed to notice the looks of amusement on Raymond and Venice’s faces.
“Ahem,” Finn harrumphed to get her attention. “If you don’t mind, my lady, would you like to stroll for a bit with me?” He extended a hand to her.
“Huh?” Anastasia did not quite understand what he was implying.
“Oh goodness me!” Raymond exclaimed. “It seems I’ve been interrupting this lovely couple’s precious time together.” Finn flinched a bit. “Lady Codina, I think it’d be best for us to make ourselves scarce.”
“Oh my,” Venice replied, almost in sync with Raymond, “You’re quite right. I feel terrible about nearly disrupting Viscount Rason’s plans!”
“Rest assured, my lady,” Raymond grinned, “Viscount Rason is not so narrow minded as that.”
Venice smiled back, almost as sincerely. “Indeed, his actions are simply a sign of the sheer depth of his affections. I know that all too well.”
Raymond offered Venice his hand, “Given the late hour, please allow me to walk you to your vehicle.”
Anastasia was puzzled at their behavior. What is with these two? She did not notice Finn’s frown at how they were subtly making fun of him.
----
===Seeking to Claim a Lady===
Venice and Raymond walked down the hallway leading to the vehicle pickup point.
Venice thought, I thought he’d engage me in conversation about all kinds of things along the way, but he’s being surprisingly quiet…
“Lady Kalinska has sure changed a lot, hasn’t she?” Raymond finally broke the silence, offering her a smile.
“Pardon?” She looked up at him.
“I was wondering if anything significant might have happened to cause such a drastic change in her.”
Venice replied, “Well, consider just how much she has suffered. Even her life had been threatened on more than one occasion. After all that, is it so surprising that she should change so much?”
She offered him a sly grin, “And as I’m sure you know, the rumours, her position, and everything else about Lady Kalinska is now changing.”
“Ahhh, I see. In that case, of course she’s bound to change, isn’t that so?” The lens of Raymond’s spectacles glinted sinister with moonlight. “By the way, I’m curious as to why a person who’s stayed on the sidelines up to this point is now trying to get close to Lady Kalinska. Perhaps you’re trying to win the favor of the future Viscountess Rason?”
Venice paused, gathering her thoughts before replying. “Speaking of which… I’m also rather curious. Why are you so interested in Lady Kalinska, Sir Haynes?” She turned to him with a bright smile, “Oh! Is it possible that you…”
Raymond startled, “My lady, please don’t misunderstand! I’d rather give up on love entirely than go after Viscount Rason’s fiancee. As you know, he’s very possessive and scary!”
“Of course.” Venice beamed. “Please forgive me, my lord. It seems I’ve read too many novels recently and let my imagination get the better of me.”
He smiled at her. “Oh dear. It sounds like a thinly veiled criticism of me for having an overactive imagination.”
“My word! I would never dream of criticizing you, my lord!” She maintained her smile. It was clear to her that Raymond Haynes and herself were cut from the same cloth, keeping their true intentions veiled under various guises. In her case, it was the noble lady’s mask, while for him, it was the awkward bookworm. And he has realized it as well. All the supposedly coincidental encounters were actually intentional. Does he actually have feelings for Anastasia?
“We’ve reached the vehicles, my lord.” Venice said. The waiting vehicles with their chauffeurs moved up to the pickup point, while the waiting valets smoothly opened the doors for the nobles to enter.
“That’s a shame,” Raymond remarked as he led her to her waiting vehicle. “I wish I could’ve had a chance to spend some more time with you, my lady.”
“Oh! I had no idea my lord regarded me so favorably.”
He smirked at her in response, stepping back as the valets closed the door. House Codina, a Viscount holding, was a powerful and politically neutral family that had not publicly supported Renard yet… A lady I would like to make my own.
Raymond stared at Venice’s vehicle as it drove off, plans slowly coming into shape in his mind.
----
===Trying not to lose it===
There was a park near the opera theater, softly illuminated by fluorescent lamps. Finn slowly led Anastasia through the park.
He asked, “You looked rather upset earlier. Did something happen?”
“Huh?” A thought occurred to Anastasia. Come to think of it, I started feeling better ever since Finn showed up… I wonder why?
She explained, “I was just upset about the plot of the show.”
He nodded. “”Agreed. The story is so idiotic. I found it a struggle to stay seated and watch it all the way through.”
She looked at him in surprise.
“My father forced me to watch it just before I went off to Kilbourne. If I recall correctly, it was the story of a pathetic man who never gathered up his courage to confess to the woman he loves and instead ends up killing her.” He looked at her. “Is it different from how I remember it?”
She shook her head. “No! You’re completely correct. Those were exactly my thoughts. It’s just… I find it detestable.”
“Is that right?”
“To me, it is merely a sordid tale of a pathetic man who, too cowardly to confront his romantic rival directly, torments the female lead instead. Did you think so too?”
“I did!” He grinned. “And I couldn’t understand how the woman could ever love a pitiful man like him. Did you think the same?”
She pointed a finger at him in affirmation. “Exactly!”
He continued, “It isn’t a tragedy, but a retelling of the pitiful life of a spineless fool. You probably considered it a grievous waste of time.” He barked a burst of laughter.
“That’s right!” She laughed along in response.
Finn suddenly had an epiphany, and sobered up from his mirth, looking at her seriously. “Still, now that I think about it, I suppose I can understand to some extent why the man couldn’t say anything to her.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Not only does confessing your love reveal what’s in your heart. But by doing so, you may also unwittingly impose your feelings on the object of your affections.” His tone was solemn. “And that can be a heavy burden for them to bear.”
She stared at him in surprise.
“Do you understand what I am saying?”
“Uh… I think you’re overthinking things, “ she frowned at him, “if you like someone, either admit your feelings to them or give up on them. And if they reject you, just try to persuade them with your charisma until they do end up returning your affections.” At least, that was how it was in the clans. “And if that doesn’t work, you’ll simply have to find somebody else.”
Her reply seemed to stun Finn, who stared wordlessly at her.
“Hmph…” Anastasia turned away from him. “I don’t understand how anyone would constantly hang around the person they care about without ever saying a word about how they feel.”
Finn looked at her wordlessly for a while, then said, “I thought you had been in love before, with Renard Haynes. So why does it seem as though you are even more inept than me when it comes to matters of the heart?”
How can he make such a rude comment with complete nonchalance? The audacity of this idiot… Flustered, Anastasia replied, “Hmmm… I’m not sure. But like you said, I understand that it’s impossible to shed your feelings so easily.” She faced him squarely. “But not confessing to the object of your affections, simply because you have a lot to lose, ultimately means you’re just afraid of the responsibility you may have to bear as a result of your words.” In the clans, if they felt somebody was attractive, they would just go straight up and ask to couple, with none of this dancing around that the Spheroids seem to be so fond of, especially with their emphasis on romance and love.
She continued, “If you’re unwilling to shoulder that responsibility, you shouldn’t linger around the person in question. Rather, better to let them go. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Then…” Finn tensed up a bit, “what would you do if somebody you didn’t love confessed to you?”
“Huh?” She looked puzzled. “I would just tell them I didn’t feel the same way. What’s the problem?”
He pressed further. “But what if they continued to stay close to you afterwards?”
She shrugged. “Then I’d just cut them out of my life. It’d be irritating to have to keep dealing with them.”
He gulped. “You mean, as you did with Renard Haynes?”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, I guess so. Why?”
He did not reply, deep in thought. It’s not unexpected, but she truly is the uncompromising sort. Whether it’s an engagement or a marriage, if it is something she does not desire, she clearly won’t hesitate to break it off.
“Finn?”
Should I be content with having her as my fiancee? He sighed, then said, “Ana, there’s something important I need to tell you.”
“What is it?” She looked concerned.
He gritted his teeth. “Well… you said you’d leave the investigation of the hoverbike incident to me, but… I’m sorry.”
“Nothing came out of it, right?” She said knowingly.
He clenched his fists. “Yes. Nobody was brought to account or to take responsibility for the incident.”
Anastasia let out a puff of air, “Oh, is that all you were trying to say? There’s no need to worry about that anymore.”
“Huh?”
“That was according to my father’s wishes, right?” She moved her hands up in a ‘what can you do’ gesture. “That’s probably what my father wanted. Like I said, I’m well aware that my father is a member of the faction that supports Renard, same as the Auberts. Besides, Lady Aubert has already paid the price… in a way. That’s good enough for me.”
He looked at her glumly, trying to control his distress. How much did she endure to become like this? Why would someone who pretended to be fine, even in a situation like this, attempt to take her own life?
''
Dammit! Finn cursed inwardly. “Lady Kalinska, if this is all too much for you to handle, we could rush our…”
Before he could complete his sentence, she cut him off. “By the way, what happened to the hoverbikes?”
He blinked, thrown off by her question. “The hoverbikes?” He quickly regained his equilibrium. “The sabotaged hoverbike has been fixed. As for the one you actually used, I got the engine replaced after you almost wrecked the old one by overboosting it. If you liked it so much, I can gift you the hoverbike…”
“Really?” her eyes sparkled with delight. “After that incident with the hoverbike showed off my skill, my father has finally agreed to let me ride on my own!”
Finn flinched from her sheer happiness, and as he stared at her lips, he was suddenly reminded of the cheesy lines from Raymond’s romance novels, describing a passionate kiss. Have I finally gone off the deep end? Get hold of yourself, Finn Rason! Confessing your feelings now is NOT an option!
Before he could react, he felt her cool hand on his forehead, bringing him back to the present.
“I’ve been calling you for a while now, but you seem out of it. Are you feeling unwell?” Her hand was on his forehead, and she had stepped up right in front of him, standing so close.
“Oh, uhm,” he quickly thought up an excuse, “I had to stay up all night yesterday because of work.”
She nodded, as though understanding what he was talking about. “Staying up all night with no sleep? Being a Viscount and commanding the Trivet’s defences is a lot of administrative work.” She withdrew her hand slowly.
He decided to take advantage of the situation. “Yeah, I’m so tired it’s hard to even stand.” He leaned down against her, resting his chin on one of her shoulders, eliciting a puzzled “Huh?” from her.
“Please excuse me for a moment.” His arms wrapped around her thin waist, and squeezed lightly. He relished the sensation, the feeling of closeness with her.
“You’re pretty weak for a mechwarrior,” she commented, drawing another flinch out of him. “I don’t think you have a fever though.”
“Uh huh.”
“All right, fine. Even warriors can get sick from time to time,” she patted him on his back, while he breathed in her scent, a mix of floral spiciness that she seemed to have made her own.
They stood there for long moments, the wind rustling through the garden, bathed in the soft glow of the lamps.
Finn finally raised his head, then tilted it to look at Anastasia.
“What is it?” she asked.
“It’s nothing.” His arms reluctantly slid away from her.
“Finn, you’re acting so strange today,” she chided him gently.
Didn’t she feel anything from the close physical contact? Does she feel anything for me at all? He wondered. I keep wanting more and more with her.
He had realized one thing. That to care for someone and give their heart to that person, but knowing those feelings were not reciprocated would make them feel lonely. If Anastasia Kalinska would love another person other than him… would he still be able to end things with her and divorce her like they had originally planned?
His heart fluttered when he looked at her. He now attached meaning to every little thing she did, and he felt incredibly jealous of everybody else she interacted with. If anybody had asked him if it was possible for him to let go of her now… he would not be able to do it.
Many people had been driven to the brink by jealousy, and there were many who made foolish and terrible mistakes, committing selfish and violent acts, in the name of love. He hoped he wouldn’t go the same way.
“Are you sure you’re fine?” She asked tentatively.
He managed a smirk. “Are you worried about me?”
She nodded, “Well, yes.”
That brought him some clarity. Not only am I fearing things that haven’t happened yet, but I’m making Ana worry. And she does worry about me!
That realization made him chuckle slightly. “I’d like to keep strolling for a little while longer, if that’s alright with you?” He extended a hand to her.
“Do you need me or something?” She smirked. “You’re not going to collapse, are you?”
“If that should happen, I would be honored if you’d lend me the use of your shoulder once again.”
She laughed. “Okay! But it’ll cost you. Hoverbikes might not be enough! I might ask for a mech instead!”
“Definitely not an assault, but maybe a light instead?” He joked back as she took his hand in her own. Nothing has happened yet. For now, at least.
----
===Good News===
Anastasia felt strangely disappointed on the way back home, though she could not exactly pinpoint why she felt that way. It started the moment she separated from Finn, and she found it really inexplicable.
It was pretty late, almost 2600 hrs on the local cycle, when most people were already at home getting ready to sleep.
She stared out the windows of the hoverlimo as it sped down the highway back to the Kalinski estate.
Her mobile phone rang, and she picked it up. Who could be calling so late?
“Hello, this is Anastasia Kalinska. Who is this?”
“Hawise here. We are all in.”
Anastasia smiled.
----
; Chapter Note from the Author : Naughty Finn! Naughty, naughty Finn! The chinese have a colloquialism for this - eating tofu (吃豆腐).And of course, as a former officer herself, Anastasia knows all about the burdens of paperwork.Most of this chapter was copied from the original webtoon, with slight modifications. These chapters are generally the easiest to write, adapt a bit here and there.
----
<<Previous Chapter - Return to Story Index - Next Chapter>>
Chapter 33