Transcript: Horrid Henry and the Terrible Teacher

[The episode begins at Ashton Primary School, with Miss Battle-Axe's class playing around]
Miss Battle-Axe: [enters the room] Right then, let's try that again, shall we? I'm going to turn around right now and leave this classroom, and then I'm going to come back in. And you'd better all be in your places, or else!
[Miss Battle-Axe leaves the room and comes back in after a short while. When everyone hears the doorknob turn, they sit down, apart from Henry, who throws a paper plane which lands on Miss Battle-Axe's head]
Miss Battle-Axe: Henry...
Horrid Henry: Oops.
Miss Battle-Axe: Oops indeed, Henry!
Horrid Henry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Title card shows. When the episode resumes, Miss Oddbod is shown in her office]
Miss Oddbod: [eats a chocolate] Mmm. [There's a knock at the door. Miss Oddbod quickly hides the box of chocolates] Enter!
Miss Battle-Axe: [enters the room] I need a word with you, Cynthia.
Miss Oddbod: Of course, Boudicca. What can I do for you?
Miss Battle-Axe: Those children, I think I might be losing my grip.
Miss Oddbod: Sit down, Boudicca. I'm sure we can work something out.
[The scene changes to the library, where Miss Lovely is reading to Miss Battle-Axe's class]
Miss Lovely: And then, the cat sat on the mat. [Miss Battle-Axe enters the library] Oh, Miss Battle-Axe? I thought I was taking reading time for you today?
Miss Battle-Axe: You are, thank you, Miss Lovely. I just came to tell my class something. [clears throat] I am going away. [the children look at each other] And, I may be away for some time. I'm going on holiday.
Weepy William: A holiday, Miss Battle-Axe?
Miss Battle-Axe: Yes William, a holiday.
Weepy William: But we'll miss you, Miss Battle-Axe. Won't we everyone?
[the children shake their heads]
Miss Battle-Axe: Thank you William, however I can assure you that I won't miss you. [Henry raises his hand] Yes, Henry?
Horrid Henry: Does that mean we get a holiday too, Miss?
Miss Battle-Axe: No, it certainly does not. Your temporary teacher will be with you first thing tomorrow.
[Miss Battle-Axe leaves the room and the children start talking amongst themselves]
Miss Lovely: Shhh! Shhh!
[The scene changes back to Miss Oddbod's office, where she is trying to find a substitute teacher]
Miss Oddbod: [on the phone] I see. Well, thank you very much anyhow. [Tiddles purrs] Yes Tiddles, I know it's time to go home. [Tiddles stretches] But I've still got to find a temporary teacher to cover Miss Battle-Axe's class. [looks through her address book] Hmmm... Mr Nerdon. I wonder if he'd consider coming back, just for a little while. [dials the number and Mr Nerdon answers] Ah, Mr Nerdon? It's Miss Oddbod here, from Ashton Primary. I wonder-
[A scream is heard from the other end of the phone, followed by intelligible babbling. Miss Oddbod holds the receiver away from her ear and the call ends]
Miss Oddbod: I'll take that as a no, then. Hmmm, might have to try a trainee instead. Let's see who we've got... Ooh, let's try this one. Fingers crossed eh, Tiddles? [she and Tiddles cross their fingers]
[The scene changes to Miss Oddbod's office the next day, where Miss Oddbod and Tiddles look nervously at the teacher sitting before them]
Miss Oddbod: Well Miss Rancid, thank you so much for coming in on such short notice. [Rebecca snorts and wipes her nose] Oh, yes, let me show you to your class.
Rabid Rebecca: It's all right, I know the way.
[The scene changes to Miss Battle-Axe's classroom, where everyone is playing around like the previous day. Henry throws a paper aeroplane to Ralph, who catches it. Suddenly, the music changes to a more menacing theme. The children hear their teacher coming, snorting as she goes, the room shaking with every step]
Moody Margaret: [whispering to Susan] It's Rancid Rebecca!
Anxious Andrew: [gasps] Oh no! [hides under the table]
[Rabid Rebecca throws the door open and strides in, making Ralph jump. He lets go of the paper plane, which lands on Rebecca's head. She throws it back at Ralph and it hits him in the stomach. Everyone sits down except Henry. Rebecca walks up to him]
Rabid Rebecca: So, Henry, we meet again.
Horrid Henry: Hello, Rebecca.
[Rebecca growls at him. Then, Henry remembers her weakness and pulls something out of his pocket]
Horrid Henry: I don't believe you've met Archie, my pet spider.
[Henry shows Archie to Rebecca, expecting her to recoil in fear, but she doesn't]
Rabid Rebecca: [calmly] I don't believe I have. [takes Archie from Henry]
Horrid Henry: But-
Rabid Rebecca: No buts, Henry. Sit DOWN! [Henry sits] Anyone else thinking of misbehaving?
Weepy William: N-no, no.
Rabid Rebecca: No, WHAT?!
Weepy William: Uh, uh, no Miss.
Rabid Rebecca: Miss RANCID!
Weepy William: No, Miss Rancid.
[William bursts into tears and Rebecca gives Archie back to Henry. Later, the bell rings. Henry gets up to leave]
Rabid Rebecca: And where do you think you're going? [Henry sits down. Rebecca points at Aerobic Al] You, GO! [points at Margaret] You, GO! [points at more children] You, you, and you, GO! [Henry is the only one left. Rebecca shouts at him to leave] GO, NOW!
[Rebecca's shout is so loud, Henry is literally blown out of the room and lands in a heap on the floor in the corridor at the feet of Perfect Peter]
Perfect Peter: What are you doing down there, Henry?
Horrid Henry: Cleaning the floor! What does it look like, worm?
Perfect Peter: Ooh, let me help you, Henry! Maybe you'll get a Good as Gold badge from your new teacher.
Horrid Henry: Huh, that's what you think, smelly nappy baby.
Perfect Peter: Well, if you don't want my help, I'll carry on with what I was doing.
[Peter walks away singing the tune of Frere Jacques. Henry looks through the classroom door window to see Rebecca eating crisps and getting irritated by Peter's singing. Henry looks at the audience. The scene then changes to the corridor, where Henry's classmates are waiting for him]
Moody Margaret: So Henry, what you going to do about it?
Horrid Henry: About what?
Rude Ralph: The Bogey Babysitter!
Brainy Brian: The Bogey Teacher, more like.
Horrid Henry: Why's it me that's got to do something?
Moody Margaret: Because!
Horrid Henry: Because why?
Moody Margaret: Because it's all your fault that Miss Battle-Axe has gone away on holiday and left us with that... monster!
Horrid Henry: Yeah, well it's not my fault that Rebecca's not frightened of spiders anymore. I thought Archie would scare her away.
Moody Margaret: Well it didn't, did it? So you better figure out how to get rid of her, or else.
Horrid Henry: Or else, what?
Moody Margaret: Or else, it will be even more your fault!
[They go outside]
Horrid Henry: [sighs] Why's it always my fault?
Rude Ralph: 'cause it always is.
[The scene changes to the classroom, where Rebecca isn't teaching them]
Anxious Andrew: Um, please Miss?
Brainy Brian: Please Miss? Um, please Miss, are you going to teach us anything?
Rabid Rebecca: [walks up to Brian and stands over him] You are a creep! And I don't like creeps.
Brainy Brian: Because Miss, if you're not going to teach us anything, I'd like to be excused to go to the library, please.
Rabid Rebecca: You're all creeps! Now GO!
[Everyone starts to leave the room]
Rabid Rebecca: [to Margaret] Scary creeps...
[Rebecca walks out, slamming the classroom door behind her and causing the posters to fall off the wall. The scene then changes to the staff room at break-time]
Mr Soggington: So, how are you getting on with that bunch of snotty-nosed kids?
Rabid Rebecca: [wipes her nose] All right.
Mr Soggington: They can be pretty scary sometimes, can't they?
Rabid Rebecca: Don't frighten me. Nothing frightens me. [turns her back on him]
Mr Soggington: Really?
Rabid Rebecca: Really.
Mr Soggington: BOO!
[Rebecca turns around and glares at Mr Soggington, who is taken aback]
Mr Soggington: Oh... only joking.
Rabid Rebecca: [sarcastically] Ha ha.
[There's a knock at the door]
Miss Lovely: Come in.
Perfect Peter: [opens the door] I've finished tidying the bookshelves and brushing the story carpet, Miss Lovely.
Miss Lovely: Oh Peter, thank you. You are most certainly my Good as Gold boy today.
[Peter walks away singing the tune to Frere Jacques. Miss Rancid stands there quivering with fury]
Mr Soggington: Miss Rancid, are you all right?
Rabid Rebecca: [closes the door] I am now.
[The scene changes to the corridor where Margaret and Susan are hiding behind a plant and Henry notices him]
Horrid Henry: What are you two doing there?
Moody Margaret: Go away, snot slime, we’ve got a plan.
Horrid Henry: What do you mean, a plan?
Moody Margaret: A plan to scare the terrible teacher away.
Horrid Henry: But..
[Margaret push Henry away as Rebecca approaches passing the girls and he runs away]
Moody Margaret: Boo!
Sour Susan: Yeah, Boo! [snickers]
[Henry continues running down the corridor where Brian plays his violin and William shakes his tissue pretending to be a ghost still followed by Rebecca]
Weepy William: Woo hoo hoo hoo!
[Henry enters the classroom, shuts the door but Rebecca bursts in and corners him angrily when Peter is heard singing through the window. Rebecca gets irritated and covers her ears so Henry opens the window and Rebecca sees Peter walking down singing and she jumps out then chases after him growling until he hides Miss Oddbod]
Miss Oddbod: Miss Rancid! Whatever do you think you’re doing?
[Rebecca turns to Henry and his classmates watching at the window together]
Miss Oddbod: Miss Rancid, I’m afraid I simply can’t permit behaviour like this in my school. You will have to leave. Now!
[Rebecca stomps aways and all the pupils cheered with excitement]
Horrid Henry: [laughs] Way to go, Miss Oddbod.
Miss Oddbod: And you can all sit sit back down at your desks and wait for Mr Soggington who will be with you shortly.
Horrid Henry: Yes, Miss Oddbod, anything you say, Miss Oddbod.
[Rebecca shakes her fist angrily at Henry]
Horrid Henry: # Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, Dormez-vous? # [laughs]
Rabid Rebecca: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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