Unikitty Says Bad Words A SpongeBob Parody.

[The title card has men singing part of the song "Sailing Over the Dogger Bank"] ♪Watcha twigger she's a proper jubby-jewel... On a passage from the Dogger Bank to Great Grimsby!♪ [then we see the Happy Burger at night]
Mr. Happy: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again. [changes the sign from "Open" to "Closed"] Closing time.
Unikitty: Well, see you in the morning, Mr. Happy.
Mr. Happy: Hold on there, Unikitty! [pulls Unikitty back] Take that pile of filth out with you. [Master Frown holds up a trash bag with flies flying around it]
Unikitty: [gasps] Mr. Happy, you shouldn't talk about Master Frown like that!
Master Frown: He means this filth you goon! [He drops the bag on the floor]
[Unikitty goes to the dumpster while bringing the trash bag]
Unikitty: [singing] I'm takin' out the trash! I'm takin' out the trash!
[Unikitty throws the trash in the dumpster and then looks at some writings on the dumpster.]
Unikitty: Hmm... dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" [laughs] "Nematodes are people too!" [laughs] Ha, those nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Master Frown smells. [writes the word "good" after "smells"] Good. [laughs] Hmm, what's this one? Mr. Happy is a... hmm? Mr. Happy is a [censored beep sound].
Garbage man: [Clearly mad] Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!
[picks up multiple garbage bags and leaves]
Unikitty: Sometimes. But, not recently.
Puppycorn: [off-screen] Hi, garbage man. [appears on-screen] Hi, Unikitty.
Unikitty: Hi, little bro! Hey, Puppycorn, do you know what this word means?
Puppycorn: "Mr. Happy..." Uh, isn't that the yellow, sweaty guy you work for?
Unikitty: [pointing to "Mr. Happy," then the unseen word as they are said] Nah-uh, not that word, that word.
Puppycorn: Hmm... [censored beep sound]! Oh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.
Unikitty: Sentence enhancers?
Puppycorn: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!
Unikitty: Oh, I get it! Let me try. [clears her throat] Hello, Puppycorn. Lovely [censored beep sound] day we're having, isn't it?
Puppycorn: Why, yes it is, Unikitty. This [dolphin chirp] day is particularly [censored beep sound] lovely!
Unikitty: How [censored beep sound] right you are, Puppycorn!
[The two continue to say the word a few more times]
Unikitty: Ooh, You're right, Puppycorn, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.
Puppycorn: Oh, mine, too!
[both laugh]
Unikitty: It tingles when I laugh!
[Unikitty walks into the Happy Burger the next day]
Unikitty: Hello, customers, nice [censored beep sound] day we're having, uh? [The customers stop eating and stare in shock]
Leggy Bird Citizen: [gasps] Did she just say?!
Crankybeard: Aye, she did.
Unikitty: Hey, Puppycorn, how the [censored beep sound] are ya?
Puppycorn: [sitting at table at the Happy Burger] Pretty [censored beep sound] good, big sis.
Old Timey Mustache Man: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.
Unikitty: [taps on the microphone and speaks into it] Attention, customers, today's special is a [censored beep sound] Uniburger served in a greasy [censored beep sound] sauce and grilled to [censored beep sound] perfection. [Green Mom covers her laughing son's ears and puts soda on him] And don't forget to ask us to [censored beep sound] the [censored beep sound] fries. It will be our [dolphin chirp] pleasure. [Master Frown hears the intercom and a giant human ear pops out of his head; he pushes it back in] Hi, Frownie, how the [censored beep sound] are ya?
Puppycorn: Nice [dolphin chirp] day, isn't it, Master Frown?
Theodore: I don't understand. That cat's talented. She doesn't have to work blue.
Dainty: Let's go somewhere more family oriented. [Everyone leaves the Happy Burger, grumbling in frustration]
Bim-Bom: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] I'm never eating here again.
Hominid: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] Those foul-mouth bottom feeders. They disgust us.
[The Happy Burger customer meter is running down; sirens wail and a red light flashes]
Mr. Happy: [in the bathroom, hears the sirens] Huh? [looks through the periscope, sees that the Happy Burger is empty and gasps] The Happy Burger is empty! [runs to dining room with toilet paper stuck to one of his legs] All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Master Frown, where have all me money paying customers gone?
Master Frown: Apparently, the two POTTY mouth siblings just learned a new word! And Unikitty just said it over the intercom!
Mr. Happy: What was it? What'd she say?
Master Frown: Er...she said...um, well she said...
[Master Frown whispers]
Mr. Happy: WHAT?! [Master Frown whispers it again; Mr. Happy gasps] Unikitty and Puppycorn! Front and center! Why, I oughta make the two of you paint the Happy Burger for using such language!
Unikitty: But, Mr. Happy. We were only using our sentence enhancers.
Puppycorn: Yeah, it's fancy talk.
Mr. Happy: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!
Unikitty: You mean [censored beep sound]?
Mr. Happy: Yes! That one! [Unikitty and Puppycorn stand up] Quit saying that right now! [Unikitty and Puppycorn frown] It's a bad word!
Unikitty and Puppycorn: Bad word?! [both start wiping their tongues while moaning]
Mr. Happy: Yes! That's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.
Master Frown: Don't you mean there are only 7?
Mr. Happy: Not if you're a sailor. [laughs]
Unikitty: Wow, 13.
Puppycorn: That's a lot of [censored beep sound] bad words.
Mr. Happy: Okay, guys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.
Unikitty and Puppycorn: We promise.
[Later at Unikitty's castle, the royal siblings are playing Snakes and Escalators]
Unikitty: Gee, I'm glad Mr. Happy told us that word we were using was a bad word!
Puppycorn: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.
Unikitty: Yeah, verily. Now, let's play a nice, wholesome game of Snakes and Escalators.
Puppycorn: Oh, boy, my favorite! [Flops arms up and down like a seal]
Unikitty: Come on, Pet Pet needs a new pair of shoes! [rolls the dice]
Puppycorn: Oh, snakes. Too bad, Unikitty, you gotta ride the snake.
Unikitty: Darn. [moves game piece to snake]
Puppycorn: My turn! [rolls dice] Hooray! Escalators! Yay! [screams] Up, up, up!
Unikitty: Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators! [rolls dice] [sighs] Snakes again.
Puppycorn: My turn! [rolls dice] Escalators!
Unikitty: Escalators, Escalators, Escalators! [throws dice] Snakes?
Puppycorn: [rolls dice] Es-skee-lators! [moves to escalators] Well, this is your last chance, Unikitty, or if you get snakes again, you lose!
Unikitty: [gets frustrated while rolling the dice] Escalators, escalators, escalators! [dice is thrown and lands on escalators] Ha! Escalators! [dice turn over to snakes]
Puppycorn: Snakes...
Unikitty: AHH, [censored beep sound]! [covers his mouth when she realizes her mistake]
Puppycorn: Ooooh! You said number 11!
Unikitty: [babbles for Puppycorn to understand] I didn't mean... you gotta understand, Puppycorn I was trying...what I meant to say was...some things just slip out. You gotta understand!
Puppycorn: Don't worry, Unikitty, I understand. [pause] Mr. Happy! [runs out the door] Mr. Happy! Mr. Happy! Mr. Happy! [starts running to the Happy Burger]
Unikitty: [starts running after him] No, wait, Puppycorn! [after Unikitty catches up to Puppycorn] Puppycorn, no, please don't tell!
Puppycorn: But, you said "[censored beep sound]"! [Covers his mouth as he realizes his mistake]
Unikitty: Aha! Now I'm gonna tell Mr. Happy on you!
Puppycorn: Not if I tell first!
Unikitty: I can fly faster than you! [laughs]
Puppycorn: [riding on the back of an ice cream truck] See ya at the Happy Burger! Hahaha! [the truck turns at the wrong corner]
[Puppycorn and Unikitty get to The Happy Burger.]
Mr. Happy: ALRIGHT! I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT ONE OF YOU DID!
Unikitty: Well, he said...
Mr. Happy: YES?!
Unikitty: Well, uh, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in the 13 words you said shouldn't be said.
Mr. Happy: WHAT?!
Puppycorn: [walks in door of the Happy Burger and eats an ice cream cone, but throws away the cone] Mr. Happy, Mr. Happy, Mr. Happy! [Mr. Happy sighs]
Unikitty and Puppycorn: He said that word that you said we shouldn't say...!
Unikitty: ...number thirteen...
[They babble on about the word, as Mr. Happy stares on disapprovingly, until the two are just pointing at each other and yelling gibberish; Mr. Happy eventually grabs their lips to quiet them.]
Unikitty and Puppycorn: Mmm-mmm...!
Mr. Happy: Now I'm gonna let go of your lips! And when I do, I want you to calmly tell me what you need to tell me! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
Unikitty and Puppycorn: Mmm-hmm... [Mr. Happy lets go of their lips, which initially deflate, then reinflate; they both point at each other again] He said "[censored beep sound]"!
Mr. Happy: [gasps] DID I JUST HEAR YOU TWO SAY THAT WORD WITH MY OWN EARS?! YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! TAKE OUT THE TRASH NOW! [picks Unikitty and Puppycorn up by their clothes and carries them outside the Happy Burger] You two need to be taught a lesson! I thought I made it clear! Never, and I mean, never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now I want both of you to wait right here! I'll be back! [walks back in Happy Burger]
Puppycorn: What's going to happen to us?!
Unikitty: We'll probably get 40 lashes!
Puppycorn: Oh no! [stupidly imagines himself having 40 lashes]
Unikitty: I'm sorry, Puppycorn. Mr. Happy was right. There's no need for words like that.
Puppycorn: I'm sorry, too, Unikitty.
Unikitty: Let's make a vow, Puppycorn. From this day forth, a foul word shall never pass our lips! We'll be good citizens, just like good ol' Mr. Happy.
Puppycorn: [shakes paws with Unikitty] Agreed!
Mr. Happy: All right you two foul mouths! As punishment for fouling the air in me restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Happy Burger a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom! [jams his foot on a rock then hops on one leg] Ow, Ooh! Ow! My [censored beep sound] foot! What [censored beep sound] genius put a [censored beep sound] rock in a [censored beep sound] path?! Can't you see I got a [censored beep sound] foot here?! Oh! [Censored beep sound. Continues saying a bunch of swear words, still censored out by please stand by tones. At this moment, Unikitty and Puppycorn count the swear words he uses]
Unikitty: Five, six, seven...
Mr. Happy: a whole lotta [censored beep sound] and with a side of [censored beep sound], a heapin' helpin' of [censored beep sound] and a boatload of [censored beep sound]...
Puppycorn: Nine...
Mr. Happy: Ooh [censored beep sound] crabbin' [censored beep sound] Ooh-hoo-uh! [cries in pain]
Unikitty: [cuts to Unikitty with thirteen fingers] That's all thirteen, Puppycorn! [gasps in anger] We're gonna tell your Dad, Mr. Happy!
Mr. Happy: [worried] No! Please! Not my Father! [Unikitty and Puppycorn angrily run to Papa Happy's house and Mr. Happy runs after them] Wait! Please don't tell my Father! I don't think his little old heart can take it!
[They go to the house]
Unikitty and Puppycorn: [repeatedly banging on the door] Papa Happy! Papa Happy!
Papa Happy: Why, hello there!
[Unikitty Puppycorn and Mr. Happy all explain the situation at the same time, swearing numerous times as they do so]
Unikitty: Papa Happy, he said [censored beep sound] and then he said [censored beep sound] again and said [dolphin chirps] and then he screamed at the top of his voice [censored beep sound]!
Puppycorn: It was terrible.
Unikitty: And he-- [censored beep sounds]--Mr. Happy, he didn't care! Such a stream of [censored beep sound] I have never heard in my days!
Papa Happy: [shocked] NO! NOOOOO!!!! MY HEART!!!! MY LOVELY HEART! [fainting]
Mr. Happy: [gasps] Oh no, Father! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you?! [takes a coin out of his pocket] You two should be ashamed! Making an old man faint with your sailor talk!
Papa Happy: [wakes up and yells at them] How dare you do this!! You should all be ashamed!! And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors!!
[Then the three are painting his house. Puppycorn is painting the ground]
Papa Happy: I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade. [laughs and stubs his foot on a rock] Yeeeoww! My [censored beep sound] foot!
[Unikitty and Puppycorn gasp in shock]
Mr. Happy: [shocked] Father?! Did you just say the bad word?!
Papa Happy: What? It's Really Old Edith and her jalopy.
Really Old Edith: [driving by] Howdy, Mr. Happy's Father! [honks the horn]
Unikitty, Puppycorn, Mr. Happy, and Papa Happy: [all laugh together]
Category:Unikitty Parodies
Category:Parodies