Transcript:The Prince of Iorden, Part 6

EPISODE SIX:
 EXT. CREEPY ALLEY - MIDNIGHT 
 NARRATOR
 After the young humans were allowed to sleep for much
 longer than they had in three days - and on mattresses
 no less! - Brennen led his party to the part of the
 city unofficially reserved for people whose fathers had
 very little gold indeed. Several such personages
 watched the party furtively from the shadows and
 alleys.
 NIA
 (WHISPERS) General!
 NARRATOR
 Nia peeked out from behind a corner with a hooded cloak
 and a walking staff, and joined the group.
 Soon they came to a small guardhouse in which a single
 guard snored loudly. The party easily hopped over the
 turnpike in his charge and descended a flight of stone
 steps.
 EXT. CANALS - CONTINUOUS 
 NARRATOR
 The stairs lead down to the canals of Armstrungard,
 which were lined by brick walls and stone walkways.
 YLLOWYYN
 What are we looking for?
 NIA
 I’m not sure yet.
 NARRATOR
 Nia looked at the end of her staff, and a faint blue
 glue radiated from it. When she touched the staff to
 the walls, the bricks around it glowed as well. Nia
 dragged her staff across the wall for a hundred or so
 paces until they came across a brick that did not glow.
 NIA
 A hollow brick. Makes sense. A thief’s hands would
 recognize it.
 NARRATOR
 She pushed on the brick with her staff and quickly
 backed away. By some unseen mechanism, a previously
 invisible doorway opened in the wall.
 INT. UNDERGROUND STREETS -
 NARRATOR
 The door led to a tangle of tunnels and subterranean
 shanties, interweaving as though it were a city unto
 itself. Echoing along from further down the tunnels, a
 raucous crowd was audible.
 BRENNEN
 (RE: THE NOISE)
 I’m guessing that’s a good place to start
 investigating.
 NARRATOR
 As they headed toward the source of the noise, the
 looks the party got from the lurkers-about down here
 made the looks they got above ground seem downright
 amiable. After walking a few hundred yards, they found
 the source of the noise to be a ramshackle but bustling
 tavern.
 BILLY
 Oh good. I love drinking in sewers.
 NARRATOR
 The sigil of this establishment, painted outside on a
 rotting wooden sign, was a rat impaled on a dagger.
 There seemed to be no fewer than half a dozen
 fistfights in progress out front of the bar.
 BRENNEN
 Nia, it’s probably safest if you wait outside with the
 young ones.
 NIA Gladly.
 NARRATOR
 Brennen and Yllowyyn headed off towards the tavern.
 BILLY
 Yell out if you need some backup.
 NARRATOR
 The General and the Elf deigned to dignify this
 suggestion with a sideways glance before continuing on
 their way.
 INT. THE BLOODY RAT - CONTINUOUS 
 NARRATOR
 As it happened, the woman they sought - Aerona Regan,
 the so-called "thief queen of Armstrungard" - was
 taking her supper at that very tavern, as she did on
 many nights at about this time. But, by her own design,
 very few people could connect her face with her
 infamous name. Least of all people of any social
 standing, like Brennen and Yllowyyn.
 She sat alone at a candelit table in an outfit so
 non-descript that the details have not made it down to
 posterity. Her hair was exactly as short as it could be
 without seeming strange on a woman. She was just about
 to start in on her supper, when a particular repugnant
 specimen of mankind - one of the few people who did
 know who she was - approached her table.
 BRIGAND
 Well fuck me sideways! Aerona Regan. Just who I was
 looking for.
 NARRATOR
 He sat down across from her. I’d compare his mannerisms
 to that of a slime mold, but I’ve met a few very
 charming slime molds.
 REGAN And I’m just thrilled you found me, Kelly.
 BRIGAND
 Aw, you don’t sound thrilled.
 REGAN
 No really, by the gods, Kelly. My nipples are hard.
 BRIGAND
 Fucked up about Flowers and Needle, huh?
 REGAN
 Dangerous city.
 BRIGAND
 Dangerous line of work.
 NARRATOR
 Kelly grabbed the sleeve of a passing serving girl.
 BRIGAND
 (TO THE SERVER)
 Ale, sweetheart.
 REGAN
 I’ll be paying my bill.
 BRIGAND
 If you leave now, I won’t get to tell you about a very
 lucrative business opportunity.
 REGAN [SIGHS]
 Brandy. Strongest you’ve got.
 NARRATOR
 Kelly smiled at Regan.
 REGAN
 Make that a double.
 INT. UNDERGROUND STREETS - SIMULTANEOUS
 NARRATOR
 All the while, Nia and the young humans stood waiting a
 safe distance from the tavern. It was at this point
 that Nia could no longer keep quiet about the die that
 Nelson wore around his neck.
 NIA
 (TO NELSON, RE: HIS DICE)
 You shouldn’t wear the tokens of Garedian.
 NELSON
 But these are my lucky dice.
 JEN
 Nelson, I think they might mean something different
 here than they do at home.
 NIA
 What do they mean where you come from?
 BILLY
 That he’s a virgin.
 NIA
 Here they mean you worship chaos. And everyone I know
 has lost something dear to chaos.
 NARRATOR
 It was then they noticed the five men with piecemeal
 arms and armor walking into the tavern. One of them
 shot Billy a dirty look as they disappeared through the
 doorway.
 BILLY
 Douchebags. They’re lucky I’m just covering the door.
 NIA
 You’re also unarmed.
 BILLY
 Just because I’m not some fairy with a bow and arrow
 everyone thinks I can’t fight.
 JEN
 (SOOTHING)
 No, no, of course you can fight, baby. We just need you
 out here to protect us.
 NARRATOR
 Jen pulled Billy into an embrace, but over his
 shoulder, looked at Nia as if to say "what else can be
 done?"
 INT. THE BLOODY RAT - CONTINUOUS 
 NARRATOR
 Back in the tavern, Brennen and Yllowyyn were still
 unsure what exactly they should be looking for, and
 even more unsure who it might be worth asking. So
 nothing caught their attention about a ragged man and
 non-descript woman being served drinks over in a corner
 somewhere.
 REGAN
 And what very reputable source brought you this
 business opportunity?
 BRIGAND
 You don’t trust me?
 REGAN
 I don’t trust anybody. And we both know you’ve got
 about as much business sense as my cunt has armor.
 BRIGAND
 I heard it was steel-plated.
 REGAN
 What’s the fuckin’ job, Kelly?
 BRIGAND
 Couple sellswords been around. Been asking about you.
 NARRATOR
 Subtly, almost mindlessly, Regan picked a long splinter
 off of the table and examined it.
 REGAN
 Some asshole’s always looking for me.
 BRIGAND
 These assholes are offering a lot a money.
 NARRATOR
 She dipped the splinter into the candle, and watched it
 slowly burn, as one does who is trying to stave off
 boredom.
 REGAN
 So what are you proposing?
 BRIGAND
 I’m proposing I lead them to you, and then buy me the
 sweetest little whore in Armstrungard.
 NARRATOR
 Three of the threatening-looking men from outside
 emerged from the crowd and surrounded the table.
 BRIGAND I never said it was lucrative for you.
 NARRATOR
 This finally caught the attention of Brennen and
 Yllowyyn, who watched the situation unfold with their
 hands never too far from their weapons.
 REGAN
 It’s a smart move, Kelly. I didn’t think you had it in
 you.
 NARRATOR
 Her eyes did not leave her burning splinter.
 BRIGAND
 Silly bitch. Your mommy and your daddy never teach you
 not to play with fire?
 REGAN
 I didn’t really have what you’d call a traditional
 childhood.
 NARRATOR
 She dropped the splinter into her brandy, igniting it
 in a bluish rush of air, and in the same motion, threw
 the flaming liquid into Kelly’s face. He screamed, but
 his screams soon turned to gurgles as Regan’s table
 knife punctured his neck.
 The sellswords darted at her, but before they could
 react, Regan overturned her table and took refuge
 NARRATOR (cont’d)
 behind it. That was when the first sellsword was
 introduced to a nasty little weapon called a razor star
 - Regan had thrown two of them into his chest before
 disappearing behind the table.
 The second thought for a moment to avenge the first,
 but his hopes were dashed by one of Brennen’s throwing
 axes. Yllowyyn had a shot lined up at the third
 sellsword until a fourth tried to ambush him from the
 side. The Elf unstrung his arrow, and jammed it through
 the fourth man’s eye. He nocked another and killed his
 original target effortlessly.
 INT. UNDERGROUND STREETS -
 NARRATOR
 The crowd at the bar, while perfectly comfortable with
 a few drunken brawls each night, were not accustomed to
 mortal combat. They had begun to pour out into the
 underground street where the rest of the party was
 waiting. After a moment of calculation in which he made
 an accurate assessment that help might be needed and in
 inaccurate assessment of how much he’d be able to
 provide, Billy took off into the tavern.
 NIA Wait!
 NARRATOR
 Nia ran after him.
 NELSON
 I’m not staying out here without the wizard.
 NARRATOR
 Likewise for Nelson, leaving Jen outside the tavern,
 frightened, confused, and unsure of where she would be
 safest.
 INT. THE BLOODY RAT - CONTINUOUS 
 NARRATOR
 When Billy entered the tavern, he saw a sellsword
 running at Yllowyyn’s back with weapon drawn. He took a
 deep breath, and lined up precisely the kind of tackle
 his football coach had taught him. It did nothing to
 knock down the much stronger man, but the form was
 impeccable. The sellsword delivered a knee to Billy’s
 nose, breaking it and spraying blood everywhere. He
 raised his sword with intent of cutting short young
 Billy’s life, but suddenly stopped and grimaced, as if
 in pain.
 True to her promise, Nia’s magic had saved Billy. The
 lightning spell emanating from her staff had not done
 much harm to the sellsword, but had stopped him long
 enough for Billy to dive out of striking distance.
 Their foe turned to strike Nia, but a devastating blow
 from Brennen’s battle-axe cleaved him nearly in twain
 from neck to flank. What was left of him crumpled to
 the ground, spilling blood and bone and bowels onto the
 sawdust-covered flaw.
 Nia turned away, barely able to stomach the sight and
 stench. Nelson and Billy immediately vomited. Naught
 remained in the Bloody Rat save for Brennen, Yllowyyn,
 Nia, Billy, Nelson, and the broken bodies of the
 sellswords. Brennen soon noticed this.
 BRENNEN
 Where in Selbirin is that woman?!
 REGAN
 Drop your weapons!
 NARRATOR
 They wheeled around to see Regan holding hostage a
 terrified-looking Jen with a Mooncrest-style dagger at
 her throat.
 BILLY
 I don’t care if you’re a girl, I will stomp your ass if
 you don’t let her go!
 NARRATOR
 Regan looked Billy up and down, more amused than
 anything.
 REGAN
 (TO BILLY)
 Try it.
 (TO JEN, BUT AUDIBLE TO ALL)
 I got nothing against you, but if your friends don’t
 drop their weapons right now I will fucking gut you
 like dinner.
 YLLOWYYN
 Scratch her and we’ll come at you with all our might.
 REGAN
 And I’ll kill you all too.
 BRENNEN
 Might be that you are able. But then we’ll all be dead.
 And you don’t want that.
 REGAN
 Says who?
 BRENNEN
 You were outside before we even noticed you were
 missing. What did you come back for?
 REGAN
 All right, grandpa, well-played. What’s going on? Why
 did two groups come after me at the same time, why’s
 one of them wearing the King’s crest, and why are
 people I grew up with turning up dead?
 BRENNEN
 I can only answer as to why we’re here. But it will be
 much easier to talk if we put our weapons away.
 REGAN
 I’ve heard that one before.
 BRENNEN
 Please, unhand the girl. She’s not harmed you.
 REGAN
 And who says you won’t?
 YLLOWYYN
 I suppose our word as members of the King’s court would
 mean little to you?
 REGAN
 You have five seconds to answer my gods damned question
 or she dies.
 NELSON
 Wait!...You said your friends are turning up dead?
 REGAN
 ’Friends’ is a bit strong, but near enough.
 NELSON
 Are you a bastard, orphan, cripple, ethnic minority, or
 otherwise scorned by society?
 REGAN
 Yes, yes, no, no, and yes. Great investigating, anyone
 coulda told you that.
 NELSON
 Brennen, there’s something about her that’s important
 on its own, separate from this whole traitor
 thing...Isn’t there?
 REGAN
 What in Selbirin’s this kid talking about?
 NELSON
 Whenever the heroes meet a bastard or an orphan or a
 one-armed priest or whatever, and someone powerful is
 going around killing all the one-armed priests, they’re
 always important later on.
 YLLOWYYN
 Ignore him. He’s just a boy with too many poems and
 fables in his head.
 REGAN
 I know a fable about a pretty girl who died because her
 friends talked too much.
 BRENNEN
 The boy’s right.
 YLLOWYYN & NIA
 (INCREDULOUS) What?!
 BILLY
 (CONFUSED) ...what?
 BRENNEN
 There’s a good chance those sellswords were hired by
 one of the enemies of House Guernatal. Felghir if I had
 to guess.
 REGAN Why?
 BRENNEN
 Let the girl go and we can talk.
 REGAN
 So some big fancy lords and ladies want me dead. But
 you guys just wanna talk? Convenient.
 BRENNEN
 The enemy of my enemy is my friend, is she not?
 MALE VOICE [PAINED GROAN]
 NARRATOR
 All eyes darted over to the sellsword with the razor
 stars in his chest.
 REGAN
 (TO BRENNEN, RE: JEN)
 Would you wager her life on this Felghir thing?
 BRENNEN
 I’d wager my own.
 NARRATOR
 Brennen cautiously laid his axe at his feet. Nia did
 the same with her staff. Reluctantly, Yllowyyn lowered
 his bow and returned the loaded arrow to his quiver.
 Regan searched the party for a short eternity with her
 calculating eyes, and then released her hostage. Jen
 dashed over to Billy and shook as he held her. Regan
 knelt beside the wounded sellsword, who was nominally
 conscious but drooling blood, and put her dagger to his
 throat.
 REGAN
 Why are you here?
 MERCENARY
 Fuck off, I’m dead anyway.
 REGAN
 Death doesn’t need to be an unpleasant experience, but
 I promise it can be.
 MERCENARY
 My father taught me a man should never die on his
 knees.
 REGAN
 It’s a good lesson. Whether or not it applies to you
 depends on how you define a man.
 NARRATOR
 She cut loose his belt, pulled down his leggings, and
 put her dagger...not on his throat.
 MERCENARY
 A bounty!
 REGAN
 Who put it out?
 MERCENARY
 General Traft!
 NARRATOR
 This greatly disturbed Brennen.
 REGAN
 Good boy.
 NARRATOR
 She brought her knife back to his throat--
 NIA
 Wait! Not like that.
 NARRATOR
 Nia came over to Regan and the sellsword. After sizing
 Nia up for a moment, Regan shrugged, stood, and walked
 away. Nia knelt beside the dying man and pulled up his
 leggings.
 MERCENARY
 I’m cold.
 NARRATOR
 Nia kissed him on the forehead and put her hand over
 his heart.
 NIA
 (QUIETLY, AN INCANTATION)
 Quiet, child. Fear neither cold nor darkness of night.
 For soon you shall bask in the infinite light, Of
 Galadon’s loving embrace. As the spirit leaves the
 body, so both return to their rightful place.
 NARRATOR
 If you had been there and looked closely, you might
 have seen the wisps of ice curling out of her fingers.
 You would certainly have seen the man’s breathing
 greatly quicken, then slow, then stop completely. Nia
 traced the circle around his heart, closed his
 eyelinds, and then stood somberly.
 The young humans looked rather forlorn, having never
 watched anyone die before today. Nelson chose to deal
 with his fear and grief by re-setting the places at the
 bar.
 BRENNEN
 (TO NIA) Your first.
 NARRATOR
 Nia nodded.
 BRENNEN
 It was a mercy. You did right.
 YLLOWYYN
 What did you do?
 NIA
 His heart was already crawling. It only took a simple
 frost enchantment to stop it.
 (TO REGAN)
 Painlessly.
 REGAN
 Well we’re all very impressed, Ms. Holy. How about you
 bring some of that frost enchantment this way?
 NARRATOR
 Regan held up her throwing hand, which had begun to
 blister. She noticed the young humans wincing.
 REGAN
 Advice for the young ones. If you ever find yourself in
 a fight where you’re improvising with fire, something’s
 gone very wrong.
 NARRATOR
 Nia picked up an abandoned flagon of ale and set to
 work again with her frost enchantment. This was when
 Regan noticed Jen’s "morally supportive" attire.
 REGAN
 The fuck are you wearing?
 JEN
 ...Armor?
 NELSON
 It’s good for mobility.
 REGAN
 Mobility? I’ve never lost a fight because my tits were
 too stiff.
 BILLY
 Hey! She feels sexy in it.
 BILLY (cont’d)
 [SNIFFS]
 NARRATOR
 He dabbed at his profusely bleeding nose.
 REGAN
 That’s lovely. But I bet she’d prefer not to get
 stabbed. Am I right, dear?
 JEN
 ...Billy, I think you need some ice too.
 NARRATOR
 Nia had turned the ale into frozen slush, of which
 Regan grabbed a handful and let it melt in her hand.
 After she had walked away, a still frightened Jen
 grabbed a handful as well and dabbed it on Billy’s
 nose.
 REGAN
 All right, Grandpa. Now would be a great fuckin’ time
 to tell me what this is all about.
 BRENNEN
 If Traft put out the bounty, our situation is even more
 dire than I feared.
 (TO THE PARTY)
 I’m sorry that I misled you all. I hoped that by
 keeping this knowledge from you, I might better protect
 your safety and our mission. I doubt our enemies know
 everything, but they clearly know some, and will piece
 together the rest soon enough. It’s time you all knew
 as well.
 (TO REGAN)
 What do you know of your forbears?
 REGAN
 I don’t have forebears. You rich people have forebears.
 I had a beggar mother and a whore grandmother.
 BRENNEN
 Good. You know that much. Three days ago, Her Majesty
 High Queen Dagmar died in childbirth. The child was
 lost as well, leaving no known heir to the High Throne,
 and enemies to House Guernatal closing in.
 REGAN
 You’ll forgive me not shedding any tears for the
 decline of the monarchy.
 BRENNEN
 The family I have served my entire life is in tatters.
 And the King I am sworn to protect is possibly dead or
 imprisoned as we speak. I do not doubt that you’ve had
 a harder life than most kings, but if you’ve any
 decency left, show some respect.
 REGAN
 I’m sorry about your friends, okay? But I need to know
 why people with ’Lords’ in front of their names give a
 shit about me all of a sudden.
 BRENNEN
 Did you know that King Gunther studied here as a young
 man?
 REGAN
 Most of his kind do.
 BRENNEN
 Gunther grew into a great man, but he was not immune to
 the weaknesses of young men. It was known to most of
 his court that he had once fathered a bastard. It was
 also known that his bastard died around 20 years
 ago. What was not known to anyone but Gunther and me,
 or so I thought, was that his bastard had a bastard.
 Who would now have about 20 years.
 NARRATOR
 A look of realization crept over Jen’s face.
 REGAN
 And now you’re here. Talking to me.
 BILLY
 I’m still confused.
 BRENNEN
 (UNDER HIS BREATH)
 Of course you are.
 (FULL VOLUME)
 Aerona Regan is the granddaughter of His Majesty, High
 King Gunther Guernatal. As of three days ago, she is
 his last living kin, and thereby, heir to House
 Guernatal. Tomorrow, we begin her campaign for the High
 Throne of Iorden.
END OF EPISODE.
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