Somebody to Love

==Characters==
Nat PetersonPilarShubieSadie RechidFredFrankNancy Suzy FishTomMartha SmithMableLennySallySally's DaughterTina-FranDebbie RechidDr. ForrestFemale Bus DriverPregnant WomanPregnant Woman's HusbandGuard
==Transcript ==
(Scene cuts to Pilar, Nat, Frank, Fred and Tom going to the movies) 
Guard: "Hold up. This is Couples Night. Couples only."
Pilar: "Okay. I guess we'll just have to do something else then guys."
Nat: "Um... Sorry Pilar, but we all already bought tickets." Shubie, Nancy, Martha and Sadie walk towards them. Shubie waves at the guys. 
Shubie: "Oh, there you are! We were worried that you had already gone in the theater." Shubie grabs Nat's arm and they walk into the theater. Frank walks in with Nancy, Tom walks in with Martha and Fred walks in with Sadie. 
(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie and Pilar going on the Tunnel of Glove) 
Glove World Employee: "Couples only. Do we have any single riders?" The crowd shakes their heads. Nat and Shubie walk into the ride and Pilar walks back into the park.
Frank: "Here you go, honey." Frank hands Nancy a huge teddy bear he won at a booth.
Nancy: "Oh Frank! You know I love teddy bears!" Nancy kisses Frank on the cheek. Pilar sighs. Pilar leaves Glove World and walks into a park. Pilar sees Martha and Tom having a picnic.
Tom: "I love you, Martha."
Martha: "I love you too, Tom." Martha and Tom begin to kiss. Pilar sighs and walks into town. Pilar walks by a restaurant and sees Mable and Lenny holding hands across a table. Mable notices Pilar staring at them through the window and pulls down a curtain. Mable and Lenny laugh. Pilar sighs and walks over to a bus stop. A bus pulls up and Pilar gets on.
Female Bus Driver: "Aw, what's the matter there buddy? Are you sad because you're all alone?" 
Pilar: "Yeah, you too?" Pilar puts some money in the coin box.
Female Bus Driver: "Heck no! I've been happily married for nine years! That's our son in the picture above the coin box. That'll be double for single riders by the way. Only couples get a discount." Pilar sighs. Pilar puts more money in the box and sits down on the bus.
(Scene cuts to Pilar getting off the bus later) Pilar walks down the street. Sally and her daughter walk past them. 
Sally's daughter: "Mommy, why is Pilar so sad?" 
Sally: "Oh, he's just upset because no woman will ever love him. Don't worry though sweetie, someone will love you when you get older. Just don't end up marrying someone like Daddy." Sally and her daughter walk away. Pilar sighs and kicks a can down the street. Nat and Shubie pull into their driveway and get out of their boat. 
Shubie: "Thanks for taking me to Glove World on my day off. That kiss we had on the Tunnel of Glove was something special. It was so... so..." Shubie kisses Nat on the lips. Shubie stops kissing Nat and looks at her watch. 
Shubie: "I'd better get going. Susie's game against Bass Vegas is starting soon. I'll be back after the game. We can kiss a lot more then." Shubie kisses Nat on the cheek. Shubie then gets in her boat and drives away. Nat waves goodbye to her and notices Pilar. 
Nat: "Hi Pilar!" Pilar sighs. 
Pilar: "Oh. Hi Nat." 
Nat: "What's the matter, Pilar?" 
Pilar: "It's not fair! How come all of my friends are married, but I'm not?" 
Nat: "Well, not all of your friends are married." 
Pilar: "You're married to Shubie. Frank and Nancy. Tom and Martha. Fred and Sadie. Even Lenny is married to Mable!" 
Nat: "Okay. Maybe most of your friends are married, but there are millions of fish in the sea! What you need is a date night. We can set one up now while Shubie's coaching the game! I'll get a bunch of single ladies I know, and hopefully you'll find one who you really like." 
(Scene cuts to Pilar sitting at a table in Fancy!) Debbie sits down. 
Debbie: "Hi. My name is Debbie. I work at Barg N' Mart." 
Pilar: "So, do you play any sports?" 
Debbie: "No, unless you count cheerleading. I do that." 
Pilar: "So have you ever been married before, or have any kids?" 
Debbie: "Well, I had a boyfriend once, but I dumped him because he was my dad's age." 
Pilar: "Oh okay." Debbie leaves and walks towards the entrance. 
Nat: "So how did it go?" Debbie shrugs. 
Debbie: "Eh. I like Pilar, but he's more of a one date kind of boyfriend. Now were's my money?" Nat hands her twenty dollars. 
(Scene cuts to Tina leaving Fancy!) 
Tina: "I don't like him." Nat hands her the money. 
(Scene cuts to Sadie walking into Fancy!) 
Sadie: "Finally with Fred on a business trip and Monroe and Tommy at their stupid baseball game, I have a night all to myself! I wonder if there will be any attractive men here tonight. Oh, if only Nat was here." Sadie walks into Fancy! and spots Nat. Sadie sees Sally walk over to him and jumps behind a plant. 
Sadie: "What's Nat doing here? And why is he with Sally?!" 
Nat: "You don't like him very much do you?" Sally shakes her head.
Sally: "I'm a scientist and even I find him boring! It's so nice of you to try to do this for Pilar though, Nat. There's just nothing interesting about him." Nat sighs.
Nat: "I know." Nat hands Sally the money.
Sally: "This is going towards my x-ray goggles!" Sally walks past Sadie and out of the restaurant.
Nat: "Where am I going a date for Pilar now? That's all the single girls in the neighborhood." Sadie jumps out from behind the plant and runs over to Nat.
Sadie: "I can pretend to be Pilar's girlfriend!" 
Nat: "What? How'd you know about this?" 
Sadie: "Um... Sally told me about it earlier today. Yeah, me and Sally are great friends. I'd be more than happy to help you out Nat. That's what great coworkers are for!" 
Nat: "Thanks Sadie!" 
Sadie: "Of course! I'd do anything for you, Nat." 
Nat: "Wait, but what about Fred? I can't imagine he would like you doing this." 
Sadie: "Oh, he won't care! It's not like I'll be cheating on him! I'm just going to be teaching Pilar about women. Do I look like the type of woman who'd cheat on her husband? Because I can if you're interested. Ha! Just kidding! You know me, always joking around!" Nat laughs. 
Nat: "Ok, well thanks Sadie! I'm really lucky to have you! You're a truly great friend!" Nat walks away. 
Sadie: "Nat said he's lucky to have me! Now all I need to do is go on a few dates with Pilar, and once Nat sees me with his best friend, he'll realize how much he wants me and leave Shubie! Then we'll fall in love and have so many children together! This plan couldn't be more perfect!" Sadie walks over to Pilar. 
Pilar: "Sadie, what are you doing here?" 
Sadie: "I'm here to help you, of course! Nat said that I'm the most attractive fish in the sea so who better to teach you about women than me?" 
Pilar: "Nat said that?! But Nat's always found Shubie the most attractive." 
Sadie: "Quiet! You're here to learn from the best, not Shubie. So listen closely to what I say and let me show you how to impress any girl in Bikini Bottom." 
(Scene cuts to a montage Sadie and Pilar going on a series of dates together) 
(Scene cuts to Sadie and Pilar having a picnic in the park) 
Pilar: "Wow Sadie! You were right! Having a picnic in the park is romantic!" 
Sadie: "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Sadie sees Nat walking by the park. Sadie waves at Nat. 
Sadie: "Hi Nat! Me and Pilar are having a great time in the park!" 
Nat: "Hi Sadie! That's great!" 
Sadie: "He's going to reveal his feelings for me soon. I can feel it." 
Pilar: "Do you want to go to a movie now, Sadie? I'm sure I have a lot to learn about movie dates too." Sadie looks at her watch. 
Sadie: "Oh! Sorry Pilar, but we'll have to go to the movies tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment soon." Sadie gets up and walks towards her boat 
(Scene cuts to Sadie in the doctor's office) Dr. Forrest walks into the room. 
Dr. Forrest: "Congratulations!" 
Sadie: "Congratulations? For what?" 
Dr. Forrest: "You're pregnant! It looks like it's going to be a boy!" Dr. Forrest hands Sadie a test report. 
Sadie: "Pregnant?! This is incredible! I've been waiting for another kid for so long! It's been almost a year since I last had one! Forget Nat, maybe Pilar can be my new husband if this is how fast we can have kids!" 
(Scene cuts to Fancy!) 
Sadie: "Pilar, I have something to tell you. I'm pregnant!" 
Pilar: "What?! But how? We haven't even had any..." 
Sadie: "Oh, forget about that! Fred's been away all week on a business trip! It has to be yours! Isn't this exciting?! We're starting a family together! And if we're already pregnant after one week, think of how many more kids we can have together!" 
Pilar: "Oh Sadie, I don't know what to say. Will you marry me?" 
Sadie: "YES! Yes I will marry you!" 
(Scene cuts to Pilar and Sadie the hospital) 
Dr. Forrest: "Sadie, I'm sorry to say but you're not pregnant. I accidentally gave you the wrong report during your last checkup. That lady is the one who's pregnant." Dr. Forrest points at a pregnant woman. 
Woman: "Honey, we're pregnant! Can you believe it? This is the happiest day of my life!" 
Husband: "Another one? It hasn't even been a month since you gave birth to our eleventh!" The pregnant woman and her husband walk out of the hospital. 
Sadie: "Gr... Some women get all the breaks. But what about my bump? I didn't get this until I started seeing Pilar. Are you sure I’m not pregnant?" Dr. Forrest chuckles. 
Dr Forrest: "That's not a pregnancy bump. It seems like you just gained some weight while you two have been spending time together." 
Sadie: "It's over." Sadie gets up and throws her engagement ring at Pilar. 
(Scene cuts to Nat and Pilar inside Pilar's house) 
Nat: "So things didn't work out with Sadie? You know Evelyn's still available." 
Pilar: "Nah, I think I'm going to stay single for a little longer. Sadie prepared me so much for a relationship with that imaginary pregnancy test that I realize now that relationships are too much work for me. I know you and the rest of the guys love your wives, but it's better for me to be single." 
Nat: "That's understandable. Wow, pretending to have a pregnancy! I can't believe she got the doctor in on that too! Sadie really prepared you for everything! Who knew she was such a great teacher?" Pilar and Nat laugh. 
(Scene ends)
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