Magnet Bomber’s Silly Stories

Magnet Bomber’s Childhood is a funny, sentimental and wacky transcript story by Dr. Beanson’s Sister. In this story (filled with many little stories), you‘ll be delighted at Magnet’s goofy memories, strengths, weaknesses, and experiences as he talks to his cronies.
== Transcript ==
=== Part 1 (Clumsy Little Magnet Guy) ===
(Pretty Bomber and Magnet Bomber are in the lounge, playing draughts. They are eating chocolate cake.)
Magnet: Ha-ha! I caught another one!
Pretty: Not so fast, Magnet! (captures 2 of Magnet’s pieces. Pretty’s piece becomes crowned.)
Magnet: (hops off couch to get himself something to drink) One minute, i’m gonna get a drink.
Magnet: (grabs a pint of milk from the fridge. Magnet unknowingly steps in a puddle of water, and slips on his back, which makes Magnet yell “OUCH!”. The milk falls down and gets punctured, making a milk puddle on the floor.)
Pretty: Oh my goodness gracious! Magnet Bomber, are you okay? There’s milk on the floor and I have to wipe it up!
Magnet. I’m okay. My shoes are wet! Guess I should take them off.
Pretty: Take off your socks, too. Socks are also slippery on floors like these.
Magnet: (takes off his shoes and socks, allowing his toes to wiggle freely. However, Magnet stubs his big toe into the kitchen table’s stump. His toe becomes red and swollen, hurting badly.) AH! OUCH OUCH OUCH!
Pretty: Alright, time to get you into bed, sweetie! (picks up Magnet Bomber, sobbing, by his shoulders into his bed.)
Magnet: OUCH! That hurts! (in response to his shoulders being squeezed and held.)
Pretty: (continues dragging Magnet Bomber, who’s in agony, to his bedroom.) Silly you! You’ve got pancake muscles! These arms are like bread dough, squishy and soft.
(later, at bedroom, Magnet lays in bed, calm with an ice pack atop his head. Pretty Bomber pats Magnet’s head, giving him grape juice and vanilla biscuits in bed.)
Pretty: Hi, Magnet. I was looking at some old papers and a photo journal about you, as well as your medical history. 
Magnet: Medical history? Whadya talkin‘ about?
Pretty: So, basically, you’ve had some problems since your Mommy was gorging on booze... whilst you were in her belly.
Magnet: Whose belly are you talking about? 
Pretty: This lady’s belly. Magnet, you were adopted by my parents a month after you were born. Your biological mom wasn’t such a good lady. She drank. She smoked. She probably didn’t even take her prenatal vitamins. Look at her in this photo, her boyfriend, her cigars...
Magnet: (starts to feel anxious and frightengly grunts, looking at the photo) So... that’s my mommy? And she didn’t take her prenatal vitamins?!
Pretty: Yeah. But thankfully she got arrested after they found you in her car, where she gave birth to you. In the hospital, you, Magnet Bomber, were a little shrimp. You had a CPAP on your mouth for 1 month straight! You were fed milk made with special formula.
Magnet: And?
Pretty: After you became healthy enough in hospital, my parents adopted you. I was only 3 at that time, and my parents wanted another kid so badly. And they got you as their kid.
Magnet: So I guess I was a weakling, right?
Pretty: Right. By the time you were supposed to walk, you could barely lift your head off the ground using your hands. I, your big sister, had to lift you up of the ground. You couldn’t even stand up, as your legs were so jelly-like.
Pretty: You, Magnet, had weak lips as an infant too, so I had to squirt milk into your mouth by squeezing the bottle. Every time I fed you, you drank up the whole bottle. What a hungry little guy you were!
Magnet: Wow. How long did it take for me to get potty trained?
Pretty: When you were 5 years old.
Magnet: 5 years old?!
Pretty: Yeah. You were in diapers during kindergarten. You couldn’t exercise, could barely color, talk, and you were always like a pancake during those times. You couldn’t even play with dough, as it was like a rock in your hands. You couldn’t button anything, tie anything, nor zipper anything, as I had to do all your clothing all the time.
Pretty: You were also a really picky eater. You’d only eat soft and mushy foods, like cheesy pasta, porridge, peanut butter, jam, and yogurt. A nutritionist told us you couldn’t yet eat meat, cause meat was too hard. You also loved eating chocolate pudding.
Magnet: So I was a total failure at school!
Pretty: True, so by the end of Kindergarten we pulled you out so you were homeschooled. You were developing really slowly and oddly, and your muscles were always really clumsy and weak.
Magnet: Yeah, I remember when I couldn’t climb a ladder or anything like that! (has flashback of himself as little boy, aged 7, being forced to climb a kiddie ladder by a therapist in a cold lab coat. Ouch! cried little Magnet as the therapist squeezed and lifted up little Magnet’s limbs, as floppy as a pancake.) 
Pretty: And you couldn’t write until you were in the third grade! (Pretty has flashback of Magnet being forced to write his name by another therapist. The therapist squeezed Magnet’s hand so tight, he would cry. The therapist applauds Magnet for writing Magnet’s name on the paper.)
Magnet: Oh yeah! I remember how sloppy my penmanship has always been. At least my penmanship is legible now, and I usually use a pen. Pencils hurt my flimsy hands.
Category:Bomberman Fanfiction
Category:Magnet Bomber Fanfiction
Category:Fanfictions