Squidiot Box (Rewrite)/transcript

Previous Episode: Lola Bass
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: February 17, 2024
Episode Copyrighted: 2023
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins with an open shot of SpongeBob's pineapple.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *offscreen* I have put off cleaning my attic for way too long. *rises from pile in attic, gasps, then picks up a shell with a diaper* Aww! Gary's baby shell! *puts shell to face* They grow up so fast.
Urchins land all over SpongeBob, and after a bit he notices them.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey! *slips backwards into the junk pile, making it explode*
A cardboard box appears, and SpongeBob lifts it up.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey! My imagination box! *carries box* I wonder if it still works. *goes outside with box, then places it down, then jumps* Oh, boy! It's time for... *waves hands to form a rainbow like in "Idiot Box" imagination, giggles, then flies inside the box, leaving behind a rainbow* Whee-hee!
The box closes, and an engine is heard grinding.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *pops out of the box* That's weird.
Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *walks with a pitcher*
Leni Loud: *waves to SpongeBob* Hey, SpongeBob! This is totes amazing!
Lincoln Loud: Yeah, I know!
Patrick Star: *eats sand* Hey, neighbor. Can I borrow a cup of sand? I'm all out. Huh? *drops pitcher, points to box* Hey! Isn't that the...?
Lincoln Loud: It is! But it won't start.
Leni Loud: Oh. Let me see if I *enters box* can get it going.
The four close the box shut. More engine noises are heard, then a wheezing sound.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *pops out of the box*
SpongeBob SquarePants: We need a professional.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *starts walking inside the box*
Slide transition cuts to a cardboard building that says "IMAGINATION BOX REPAIR." SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni are walking to it with the box on.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *rainbow forms on front of building* Imagination Box Repair. This is the place.
Screen cuts to the inside of the repair store. A repairman places a box on a counter.
Box Repairman: *notices SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni* Ooh! *dives into the box and comes out in another place with several boxes* Aha! *gets inside another box and comes out another* Ooh. *spins out of their box* Welcome!
Confetti comes out of his body.
Box Repairman: *claps and gets out of the box* Wow, a double corrugated 3600. I haven't seen one of these in 25 years. What seems to be the problem?
Lincoln Loud: Well, the inspiration motor won't turn over. *spits* Dern thing's on the fritz.
Leni Loud: *points to box* Yeah. And it doesn't work.
Box Repairman: *picks up box* Hmm. Let me take a look under the flap. *steps away*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *follows the repairman by flying, leaving behind trails of rainbows*
Box Repairman: *operates under the box, and rainbows spout onto my eye, then gets next to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni* Well, there's your problem. Your box has blown a whimsy gasket. They don't make those anymore! But I could give you a *points ahead* great deal on a...
Camera pans over to a beat up fort of cushions.
Box Repairman: ...cushion fort.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No, that's okay. *points to myself* I'm a cardboard man.
Slide transition cuts to Franklin Avenue, where SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni are walking with the box on top of them. They arrive at the Loud House.
Rita Loud: Make sure you do what Leni says and don't forget to go to bed before we get home.
Lynn Loud Sr.: And if you bring any friends over, make sure they clean up after themselves.
Lynn Jr. and Lucy Loud: Yes Mom and Dad.
Rita Loud: We'll be back later at around Eleven, we will see you in the morning.
Patrick Star: *lifts box* Aw, this dumb ol' box is just junk *throws box at Lynn* now.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Hey!
Squidward Tentacles: *opens the front door* Hey! *walks over to yell* GET OFF MY PROPERTY! *falls into box* Whoa! *thumps and yells* WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHERE AM I?
He, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni approach the box.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Inside my imagination box.
Leni Loud: *open the box with SpongeBob, Patrick and Lincoln, which is empty* Where'd he go?
Lincoln Loud: You must have jostled something and fixed it. *gasps* Guys! Squidward must be lost!
A foghorn blares.
Patrick Star: Lost in his own...
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *waves our hands to form a rainbow* Imagination! *closes box*
Lynn Loud Jr.: It's a good thing Squidward is gone.
Squidward is stuck in a dark room, with only his eyes showing.
Squidward Tentacles: *groans* I can't see a thing in here! I need a flashlight!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *offscreen* Just imagine a flashlight.
Squidward Tentacles: *mockingly* Oh, yeah, right. I'll just imagine it and it'll appear! *grumbles*
Then he is holding a flashlight.
Squidward Tentacles: What the--oh, it worked. *aims flashlight* Now where's the way out of here? *finds a staircase* Ooh! I'm leaving! *runs up the spiral staircase which abruptly ends* Huh?
Staircase disappears, making him fall and scream.
Squidward Tentacles: *lands back on the ground* How do I get out of this crazy place?
Lincoln Loud: *from outside box* That's easy, Squidward. Just visualize where you'd rather be!
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* I'd rather be far away from you! Like at a fancy beach resort.
The setting suddenly changes to a beach resort.
Squidward Tentacles: *gasps* And relaxing on a lounge chair.
A lounge chair appears.
Squidward Tentacles: Ooh! *sits in lounge chair wearing beach attire* Ahh, sipping a tropical drink.
A woman gives him a coconut drink, which he drinks.
Squidward Tentacles: Ahh. *lifts up sunglasses* Maybe this imagination thing isn't so bad after all.
Patrick is drawing him and SpongeBob in the sand with a stick.
Lincoln Loud: What are you doing now?
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Well, if you must know, I'm relaxing under an umbrella surrounded by beautiful tropical plants.
Leni Loud: Sounds like you're in a jungle.
Squidward Tentacles: No! It's not a...
Setting changes to a jungle.
Squidward Tentacles: ...jungle?
his drink turns into a spider, whimpers as it crawls away.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are jungles full of dangerous animals?
Patrick Star: Yep! *yells* LIKE SCARY SNAKES!
Squidward Tentacles: Huh?
The beach chair turns into a snake that wraps around Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: *screams*
As well as his eyeballs.
Squidward Tentacles: *gets out of the snake and runs away*
Snake: *tries to bite him, and chases after him*
Squidward Tentacles: *grabs onto the lady from earlier* Hey! You gotta help me!
Cyan Rectangle: Hello, Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: Gah! Stay away from me!
Yellow Rectangle: We're here for you, Squidward!
Red Rectangle: Yeah, come play with us!
Yellow, Red and Cyan Rectangle: *laughs at Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: *screams, my eye popping out, then runs away*
Pink Rectangle: Where do you think you're going?!
Squidward Tentacles: *screams, then keeps running*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *offscreen* Oh, and look out for sea panthers.
The lady turns into a sea panther, which roars at Squidward, making him scream.
Squidward Tentacles: *runs away, bumps into a branch, then hides in a log*
The panther lands on the log and jumps past it.
Snake: *slithers past it*
Meanwhile, Patrick is playing with a cup and ball as SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni look at the box.
Lincoln Loud: How's it going in there, Squidward?
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* You're making everything worse! Would you four clam up?
Patrick Star: Oh, I forgot to mention the clothes-eating birds.
Chomping is heard.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box, screams* Giant birds! Ahhh! Let go! Ow! Ouch! Hey, that's my shirt! Oh, fantastic! Now I'm lost in the jungle with no clothes on.
SpongeBob SquarePants: That's no problem. Remember, you can *uses hands to form a rainbow arch* imagine anything!
Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *does the same*
Squidward Tentacles (Naked): *covers himself in the jungle* Imagine, huh? All right. *strains
Safari clothes appear on him.
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, not bad. *stretches pants waist* A jungle *pulls out and twirls binoculars* safari could be fun.
Leni Loud: Oh! And whatever you do, don't imagine... a stampede of elephants!
Elephant noises are heard.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Thanks a lot!
Leni Loud: No problem!
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Now tell me how to escape from a stampede of elephants!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hmm. If only you had a hot air balloon.
Squidward is seen in the jungle running away. He skids to a halt as he sees a SpongeBob hot air balloon.
Yellow Rectangle (Hot Air Balloon): *laughs*
Squidward Tentacles: *hesitates, then pulls on the balloon's string, then unties it*
A close-up of Squidward's foot being tangled in the rope is shown.
Yellow Rectangle (Hot Air Balloon): *starts to float*
Squidward is taken upward just as the elephants stampede by.
Yellow Rectangle (Hot Air Balloon): *laughs*
Squidward Tentacles: *screams*
Elephant noises and Squidward noises are heard from the box as it bounces in place.
Lincoln Loud: *points to box* I've always wanted to ride in a balloon.
Patrick Star: *points to myself* Me too! Unless there's a tornado.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Tornado?
Wind is heard blowing as the box spins around in place. The tornado is seen, spinning several objects around.
Yellow Rectangle (Hot Air Balloon): *takes Squidward around with it, then laughs*
Squidward Tentacles: *screams*
Yellow Rectangle (Hot Air Balloon): Whee!
The rope detaches from Squidward's foot, and he falls down screaming.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *offscreen* You know what's better than a tornado? A bubble tornado.
Bubbles start to form around him.
Squidward Tentacles: Huh? *gets inside a bubble*
As they spin around him.
Squidward Tentacles: Huh? *lounges* Ahh. *lands softly on the ground inside the bubble*
The hot air balloon then crushes Squidward as it lands.
Lincoln Loud: You okay, Squidward?
Squidward Tentacles: *yells from inside the box* No!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *sits down*
Lincoln Loud: He's okay.
Leni Loud: Say, *points to box* are there dinosaurs in the jungle?
Dinosaur sounds are heard.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Oh, no.
Dinosaur roaring is heard as he is then seen running away from one.
Squidward Tentacles: I hate imagination!
Dinosaur: *tries to chomp on Squidward*
He jumps.
Dinosaur: *then tries and fails to chomp him again*
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick drinking from soda cans while on lounge chairs. Squidward is heard panting as the box jumps up repeatedly.
Lincoln Loud: Guys, what are you drinking?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm so happy Squidward's having such an exciting adventure.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* How do I get out of this jungle?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *tosses soda can* Hmm. Try *uses hands to form a rainbow arch* imagining your favorite place!
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Favorite place? Um, I've got it! A jazz club.
Kelpy G and two other performers are performing onstage at the jazz club.
Squidward Tentacles: *looks around in the jazz club* Ooh, *wears jazz club clothing* finally. A place with *sits down at a table* culture.
A waitress gives Squidward a fancy cup. She pours coffee in it, and a music note made of coffee pops out of it. She walks away.
Squidward Tentacles: *picks up cup, sniffs* Ahh. Even the coffee smells like jazz. *snaps fingers* Oh, yeah. Digging that groove.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *looks at each other* We dig it! *plays air guitar*
Squidward Tentacles: *grumbles, then takes a sip and spits out rocks* Ugh! This coffee tastes like rocks!
Rock music is heard playing, which makes him drop the cup. SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln, Leni and Gary are performing onstage in rock band attire.
Bubble Bass: *jumps off the stage and lands on Squidward's table, crushing it*
Everyone around Squidward is now also dressed in punk attire.
Squidward Tentacles: *hands on ears, screams, box jumps up and visibly heats up* Everything's gone crazy!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sounds like your imagination is overheating. Try to clear your mind.
Box: *cools down*
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Clear my mind? Clear my mind! Phew!
Lincoln Loud: Where are you now, Squidward?
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* I'm in an empty white void. But at least it's peaceful.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, that sounds like the Doodle dimension.
Patrick Star: Watch out for DoodleBob!
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* What's he look like?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Um, *draws on notebook* ...he looks kind of like... *slides picture of DoodleBob without his tie into void*
Which Squidward picks up.
SpongeBob SquarePants: ...this.
Leni Loud: Um, SpongeBob? You forgot to draw a tie. *draws DoodleBob’s tie* There, all done!
DoodleBob: *yells and gibbers*
As he exits the paper.
Squidward Tentacles: *screams, tries to run away*
DoodleBob: *grabs him by the tentacles and smacks him around*
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* Would somebody please--
Box: *falls and lifts back up*
Squidward Tentacles: Tell me how--
Box: *falls and lifts back up*
Squidward Tentacles: To get out of this--
Box: *falls and lifts back up*
Squidward Tentacles: Stupid box?!
Box: *falls back down*
SpongeBob SquarePants: You want out?
Patrick Star: Well, why didn't you say so?
Leni Loud: Just draw an exit door.
Box is floating in air.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* I don't have a pen!
Box: *falls*
Lincoln Loud: *points* You're an octopus. You're full of ink.
DoodleBob is still hitting Squidward back and forth.
Squidward Tentacles: *shoots ink from my nose onto DoodleBob and stuns him, then slips on some of my ink, then squirts ink onto the wall to form a door*
He exits through the door just in time for DoodleBob to miss him. He lands out of the box on the ground.
Squidward Tentacles: *pants* Huh? Huh? *sees my house* I'm home! *laughs and lies flat on the doorstep* Hmph. Where did they run off to? *gets up* Oh, well. I'm going to the place where imagination goes to *hits fist on tentacle* die.
Screen cuts to Squidward walking to the Krusty Krab.
Squidward Tentacles: My dreary, pointless minimum wage *opens front door* job.
In register as a customer approaches.
Squidward Tentacles: *inhales* Ah, *picks up notepad and pencil* the good old boring Krusty Krab. I'm actually happy to be back.
The scene fades out to reveal he is still in the imagination box.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* May I take your order, sir?
Patrick Star: Should we tell him?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Nah, he sounds so happy.
Squidward Tentacles: *in box* One Krabby combo coming up!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *shrugs and walks away*
Squidward Tentacles: *in box, sighs, then notices the giant yellow bird* Huh?!
Giant Yellow Bird: *appears behind Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: Nice bird! Nice bird!
Giant Yellow Bird: *roars at Squidward like a monster*
Squidward Tentacles: *screams, then starts running*
Giant Yellow Bird: *flies and chases Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: Get that away from me, bird!
Giant Yellow Bird: *keeps chasing Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: *tires to run*
Giant Yellow Bird: *takes Squidward to the giant bird's nest*
Squidward Tentacles: Put me down! You're trying to eat me!
Giant Yellow Chicks: *appears in the giant bird's nest*
Squidward Tentacles: HELP! HELP! HELP!
Giant Yellow Bird: *lets Squidward go, making him fall*
Squidward Tentacles: *screams*
Screen cuts outside the box.
Giant Yellow Chicks: *offscreen, eats Squidward*
Lincoln Loud: *offscreen* Don't worry, Squidward! It's just a yellow bird!
The camera irises out on the box, then it says "THE END". The episode ends.
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