LU 149 - Dr. Thornberry 39

I woke up this morning and stretched. The spot next to me in bed was cold, and I got up, smoothing the covers to make it look unoccupied. I stepped down the stairs and talked to Hallthorr for a bit. I tried to distract him with the idea of my gift, in case he had any idea of what had happened last night. But he ignored me and went on to ask if... Space was in bed with me last night. The appropriate response was to say I wouldn’t tell him because he’s a child (not really but oh well) or tell him the truth. But of course, I went with option three: lying.
”…I’m not sure Hallthorr, I was passed out, I’m sure he left very soon though!”
”…Vibzz I wasbzz in youuzzbzz labzz fobzz 14bzz yeabuzzbzz, I cabzz tezz whbzz you’zz lyibzz.” (...Vice I was in your lab for 14 years, I can tell when you're lying.")
...Well he’s not wrong. I turned my head to the side and took a deep breath. I walked over to the bedstand and leaned on it. I told him the truth, not all of it, but that I knew Space was there.
”Spabzz hazz dobzz sobzz mubuzz tozz yobzz, pretenbzz toz bezz youbzz friebuzz, mabzz yozz morbzz aggressbuzbzz towabzz mezz, betrbzz yozz. I don’bzz knozz whbzz yozz trusbuzz himzz. Atbzz allbuzz.” ("Space has done so much to you, pretend to be your friend, make you more aggressive towards me, betray you. I don't know why you trust him. At all.")
Hallthorr has a point. But I get attached to people so easily, and I’ve never really had long lasting friendships like him before. He’s the only person who’s kind of stuck around me. I really appreciate that... Hallthorr tried to convince me of the other friends I had, but I put it all off. 
I then gave him his gift, a maid dress. As I had decided that’s the formal wear for some events in the Empire, I thought it would be best if I gifted him one. He seemed…confused, but happy that I tried. He tried it on, and I told him it looked great on him. After convincing him it looked good, I asked him to show me what he had written in his book.
I opened it to find... a lot of new things. He knew about Space’s age, Morpheus’s location, etc. I made him promise me that he wouldn’t go near Morpheus again, no matter how much he wanted pollen. We both agreed that the mindset Hallthorr was in that day was- a little different, but he said he’d try to stay away. Thank god. I won’t have to worry as much about him now. I told him I was off to work and he said one more thing while I creaked open the front door.
”Pleabzz bezz carefbuzz arozzz Spabzz.” ("Please be careful around Space.")
”I promise I will.”
I sighed, closing the door behind me. I walked a ways away until I slumped up against the nearest tree. The rough bark felt nice on my back… What do I do about Space...?
I stared into the puddle in front of me, drips of water falling from the branch above my head. My ears twitched as a drop fell. Do I like Space like that? Or do I only enjoy his company? Do I even love Frezz? Or am I just lonely? Do I even like anyone or do I just want attention? Does anyone even like me?
The thoughts swirled around my head like hair in a clogged drain. As much as I tried stowing them away, the more I stuffed, the more came up. If I take things one at a time, it won’t overflow. I took a deep breath and started at the first question. I knew I loved Frezz, that’s apparent. And I do not love Space, because I don’t feel the same energy towards him as I do with Frezz. 
Okay, okay we’re getting somewhere. I kept breathing as I plucked one question out at a time. I only slept with Space because I was lonely. I’m touch starved and attention starved. Okay, that makes sense. 
I think of Space as a good friend, and I only look up to him... I don’t feel anything special towards him. I’ll just have to ignore the praise he gives me. That- flusters me. I sighed, happy that I had gotten the answers I needed. Now I just need to talk to Frezz. I felt horrible letting the fact I slept in the same bed as Space brew. So I turned around and ran back home. 
I immediately looked around, still hoping he’d be right there, waiting for me. But before I went down to the basement, I noticed a sign next to Hallthorrs bed. 
’I went to the lab to try and regain my memories.’
Never mind me not worrying about Hallthorr. I have to worry about him right now. I sighed. I knew he was moderately safe there though, so I decided to get him tomorrow, after I had talked to Frezz.
I hopped into the basement hole. I was getting used to the rush of air and water when I hit the ground. I said a quick hello to Wrath before running into the hallway... which was... open. I could’ve sworn it wasn’t. Whatever. I ran to the edge of the pit and peered down. I was expecting to see the same destruction and ruins it had been in just the other day, from when I killed him. But it was newly fixed, almost like it had been done just the night before. Wait. Was Frezz down here the whole time? 
I started to panic. He knew everything. He knew everything.