Silk and Cookies

==Characters==
Nat PetersonShubieSadie RechidDon the Whale (debut)Patty RechidNancy Suzy FishFrankMabelLennyMartha SmithTom SmithEvelynTall BillySallyTina-FranHaroldPilarClaytonScooterDebbie RechidDebbie's TeacherDirectorLadyMakeup ArtistWomanSmall Billy (mentioned)
==Transcript ==
(Scene cuts to Nat and Sadie working at Sadie's Cookies) Evelyn and Billy walk past Sadie's Cookies.
Billy: "I'm hungry! Can we get some cookies, Mom?"
Evelyn: "No way! Cookies are nothing but bubbling fat and they'll give you cavities. Let's go find a more nutritious option." Evelyn and Billy walk away. Sadie sighs.
Sadie: "We haven't gotten a single customer all day. I don't know why no one's been coming here lately. It's not like I changed my recipe or anything." Patty Rechid walks into the store.
Patty: "Hey Sadie."
Sadie: "Hi Patty! What'll it be today? Need a fresh batch of cookies for an important sale?"
Patty: "Oh no, I was just going to ask you if you know where that fruit basket store is in the mall. Sweets aren't really in right now, everyone's worried about eating healthy nowadays so they're turning to healthier foods."
Sadie: "What?! Healthier foods? But those taste like garbage! I don't know what I'm going to do. We've hardly gotten any customers this week!"
Patty: "I'm sorry Sadie. That really stinks. I wish I could do something to help you two out but fruit baskets are what's helping me sell houses these days. You know, maybe you should try making a TV commercial! That's what Bikini Bottom Realty did after our sales went down one percent one day and our sales have gone up forty-four percent since!"
Nat: "Really? A commercial huh?" Sadie imagines her and Nat looking like gorgeous movie stars.
Sadie: "That's a great idea! I've always imagined me and Nat as TV stars! Thank you so much, Patty!"
Patty: "You're welcome! Hopefully it'll work out well for you 'cause those fruit baskets can be awfully expensive!"
(Scene cuts to Sadie walking into the mall the next day) Sadie walks past Martha Smith who's opening up her pickle store.
Martha: "Good morning, Sadie!"
Sadie: "Good morning, Martha. Today's the day Nat and I become stars!" Sadie walks over to Sadie's Cookies where there's a big production crew setting up in front of the store. Sadie sees Clayton walking around the set.
Sadie: "Clayton? What are you doing here? I didn't invite you to be in this commercial."
Clayton: "Oh, I'm not going to be in the commercial. I'm just part of the crew."
Sadie: "You are?"
Clayton: "Yeah, I'm that guy who yells ‘Take one! Action!’ before they start filming. I've been doing it for about ten or so years now."
Sadie: "Oh, um, okay. Well can you show me who the director is? I'd love to meet him." 
Clayton: "Oh yeah, he's that guy over there with his back turned to us." Clayton points at the director. Sadie walks over to him and taps him on the shoulder. The director turns around.
Sadie: "Hello, Mr. Director! I'm ready to be a star!"
Director: "What is this?! Who made the decision to have her to star in the commercial? I want that person fired! She's hideous! We need to find a new actress for this role!"
Lady: "That's not an actress sir, she's the lady who owns the bakery."
Director: "Oh, well I guess we could go for ugly local business owner approach. Makeup department! Make her look as presentable as possible!"
Makeup Artist: "Yes, sir." The makeup artist grabs Sadie and puts her in a chair so she can put makeup on her. Sadie sighs. Shubie walks past Sadie's Cookies and sees the production crew. Shubie notices Nat and waves at him.
Shubie: "Hey Nat! What's going on here?"
Nat: "Oh, we're just filming a TV commercial for Sadie's Cookies."
Shubie: "A commercial?! That sounds like fun!" The director notices Shubie and runs over to her.
Director: "Who is this?! She's beautiful! How would you like to star in your very own commercial? I’m going to make you a star!"
Sadie: "Grrrrr..." Sadie jumps out of her chair and runs over to Shubie.
Sadie: "Oh this is just my coworker's idiot wife who's on her way to work right now. Isn't that right, Shubie? Well, goodbye! See you after the commercial!" Sadie grabs Shubie and pushes her away.
Shubie: "Bye Nat! Have fun with the commercial!"
Director: "Drat. Well then I guess we should get started. Bring in the whale!" Don the Whale walks over to them.
Sadie: "What? Why is he here?"
Director: "He's here to promote Sadie's Cookies, of course! Once people see this healthy, muscular fish promoting your store, they'll think that this junk is healthy and come here all the time! It's marketing genius! Now quit wasting my time with your silly questions! Let's start filming! Places, everyone!"
Clayton: "Sadie's Cookies! Take one! Action!"
Sadie: "Hello and welcome to Sadie's Cookies! I’m Sadie Rechid, creator and co-owner of this lovely dessert store." Sadie opens the front doors and walks inside. Sadie walks over to the front desk where Nat is standing.
Sadie: "This is my extremely handsome coworker, Nat Peterson. Behind him, is the kitchen where me and Nat work tirelessly every day baking deserts for all sorts of occasions: sporting events, birthday parties, anniversaries, weddings, and even for fish who just want a delicious snack! Now let’s see why some of our customers love to come here so often." The sound mic drops down into the shot and hits Sadie's head.
Sadie: "Ow! Hey, watch it!"
(Scene cuts to Harold)
Harold: "They make cupcakes with purple frosting! Purple's my favorite color!"
(Scene cuts to Frank and Nancy)
Frank: "Sadie's Cookies is great for date night! We come here all the time!"
(Scene cuts to Don the Whale)
Don: "Oh hello there, Sadie's Cookies is my favorite place for a good snack. As a professional bodybuilder and weightlifter, Sadie’s Cookies always gives me the healthy fuel I need to power through my workouts. I come here all the time because there's nothing else like it in Bikini Bottom. You should definitely start eating here if you ever want to look as shredded as I do." Don flexes his bicep and takes a bite out of a brownie.
Director: "Cut! Ok, that was perfect! Let's clean this up and get out of here! We have a Chum Bucket commercial to do at 3!"
Sadie: "What? You're only doing one take?"
Director: "Yeah, that was fine. The 'extremely handsome coworker' part was kind of weird and the sound mic hitting you wasn't great but BBTV doesn’t pay me enough to care about that stuff." The director and the rest of the production crew leave.
Sadie: "Well, I hope that was worth it." Don the Whale walks over to her and Nat.
Don: "Hey, that brownie was really good! I might actually start coming here from now on!" Don walks away.
Nat: "Well at least we got one new customer!" Sadie sighs.
(Scene cuts to Nat and Sadie opening up Sadie’s Cookies the next day)
Sadie: "Let's see if that ad paid off." Sadie and Nat walk into the store and behind the counter. A crowd of fish sprint into the store.
Lenny: "We’ll take twenty cookies!" Don the Whale walks into the store.
Don: "Can I get a fresh batch of cupcakes?"
Mabel: "Holy fishpaste! Don the Whale actually comes here? I thought that was just some dumb marketing gimmick! Make it fifty!"
Evelyn: "And can I get a carrot cake?"
Sally: "I'll take a half dozen brownies!"
Tina: "I want whatever Don’s having!"
Sadie: "Wow Nat, we haven't had a crowd this big in months! That ad really must've paid off!"
(Scene cuts to Sadie's Cookies later that day) Don flexes his muscles for Sally, Tina, Evelyn and Debbie.
Debbie: "He's so dreamy."
Sadie: "Debbie, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"
Debbie: "Yeah, I'm supposed to be in science but my science teacher’s decided to take us on a field trip here!"
Teacher: "Don's so handsome. If I wasn't a married woman..." The teacher takes a bite out of her cookie.
Frank: "Are you sure we should get some more, Nancy? This is our fifth time ordering today!"
Nancy: "Who cares? If this food helps Don look like that then there's no way it'll ever be harmful to us! If we eat as much as possible, we'll be in great shape even sooner! "
Frank: "That logic makes sense to me! Nat! Another batch of cookies please!"
Nat: "Sure thing, Frank! Wow Sadie, we've never had so many customer before and they won't stop ordering!"
Sadie: "Yeah, it looks like this ad really paid off for us!"
(Scene cuts to Sadie and Nat opening up Sadie’s Cookies)
Nat: "You think we'll have as many customers today?"
Sadie: "I don't know, Nat. Maybe that was just a one time thing. A lot of people might be burned out from eating so many desserts yesterday." Don walks into the store.
Don: "Can I get some cookies?" Sadie smirks. Sadie puts up a sign in the front window that says Don's here! Come eat some desserts with Don the Whale!. A crowd rushes into the store.
(Scene cuts to a montage of Don eating at Sadie's Cookies every day while a big crowd of fish gather around him)
(Scene cuts to Sadie and Nat opening up Sadie's Cookies)
Sadie: "Ready to get started, Nat? This is the best month we've ever had! Getting Don to like our desserts so much has really helped." A crowd rushes into the store.
Mabel: "Can we get some cupcakes?"
Pilar: "Can I get seventy cookies? I want to look as big and strong as Don!"
Evelyn: "Give me whatever you have!"
Sadie: "Coming right up!" Sadie hands out food to everyone in the crowd. Everyone sits down at different tables and begins to eat their food. The doors open.
Don: "I'm here!" Everyone turns to look at Don and sees that he is now extremely fat and has no muscles. The crowd gasps. 
Tina: "Don, you're... fat!" Tina's stomach pops out. Suddenly everyone's stomach pops out due to all the desserts they've been eating.
Frank: "What the..."
Nancy: "Oh no! It looks like I'm pregnant with triplets!"
Woman: "I am pregnant with triplets! I can't get out of my seat!"
Tom: "Look at what you’ve done to us!"
Sadie: "Well, too be fair, you already kinda were fat, Tom."
Pilar: "Your ad said that this food was healthy and helped keep Don in such great shape!" 
Mabel: "I've been feeding my son your cookies for the past month instead of vegetables! Let's get them!" The crowd runs over to Nat and Sadie and beat them up. 
Harold: "Let's go to Martha’s pickle store! At least that food is definitely healthy." The crowd leaves.
Nat: "They all seemed pretty angry. You think they'll ever come back here?" Sadie takes a pie off of her face.
Sadie: "Oh, I'm sure they will. There's no way they won't come back with Don coming here every day." Don breaks his chair and falls onto the floor.
Don: "Help! I'm too fat to get up!"
Sadie: "Maybe we should do something about this."
(Scene cuts to Sadie and Nat in Sadie’s Cookies the next day) Sadie looks at her watch.
Sadie: "It's time for the new commercial." Sadie turns on the TV.
Perch Perkins: "We'll be right back after these messages."
Sadie: "Hello, recently Sadie's Cookies ran an ad that said that the food we serve here was healthy and helped keep Don the Whale in such great shape. Both of those things were a lie. The food Nat and I serve at Sadie's Cookies has almost no nutrients whatsoever and is purely meant to be eaten as a snack and not as something in replace of healthier foods like fruits and vegetables. We're sorry for any of the trouble we caused you and your family and from now on we will always tell you the truth about our products. We hope that you can forgive us." Sadie turns the TV off.
Nat: "Wow, that was a really good ad."
Sadie: "Yeah, but I doubt it's going to help. Everyone's already angry that we made them all fat. It's not like they'd forgive us after one ad." A crowd rushes into the store.
Scooter: "I'll have a brownie!"
Sally: "Can I get a carrot cake?"
Tina: "A dozen donuts please!"
Sadie: "What?! You're not mad at us anymore for making you all fat?"
Nancy: "Oh no, now that you've apologized and are going to be straightforward about how unhealthy your food is, all is forgiven! We have no one to blame for eating this unhealthy junk but ourselves! I'll take a dozen cupcakes."
(Scene cuts to a group of people eating in Sadie's Cookies)
Sadie: "Wow, I never knew that a simple apology would be all we needed to get our customer back. Most of them don't even look like they lost any weight and they're still happily stuffing their faces with our food. If only Shubie ate here more often." Don the Whale walks into the store. Sadie laughs nervously.
Sadie: "Hey, Don. You're looking awfully fit again. What can we do for you?"
Don: "You!"
Nat: "Oh no! Please don’t maul us!"
Don: "Maul you?! I came here to thank you! When the judges of this year's bodybuilding contest saw that I'm ripped again after looking like the mess your food turned me into, I easily one first place."
Nat: "Oh okay, congratulations Don! I'm glad this situation somehow worked out well for you."
Sadie: "Yeah Don, congrats! Would you like a celebratory cookie?" Don laughs.
Don: "No. I'm never eating here again."
(Scene ends)
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