Body Pillow Shield

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The following page isn't attacking anyone who has an interest in anime or Japanese culture in general.
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The カー大佐は真の兵士ではない or the is a 乱闘 weapon introduced in the 17.6.0 update. It can be obtained from the Weeb Season Battle Pass.
==Description==
Uhm😤 by the way 👩 MOM 🤷‍♀️ They're not 🇨🇳 Chinese cartoons📺💻 it's called😡 ANIME!!!😍😍 GOT IT?!? 😤😠 And they're ❌✋🙅‍♀️ NOT CHINESE!!!🇨🇳 They're JAPANESE!!!🇯🇵 So you'd better apologize 😱🙏👎 to me and my Waifu 👫💏 RIGHT NOW 😠😡
== Appearance ==
It is a large white body pillow with a picture of Friedrich der Grosse from Azur Lane printed on it. It also has some questionable stuff on it but let's not talk about that, shall we?
アズールレーンのフリードリッヒデルグロスがプリントされた大きな白い枕。また、枕の周りにいくつかの疑わしい水分がありますが、それらについて話さないでください。
==Performance==
Nico Nico Nii
== Strategy ==
ハムマンに触れるでない、このヘンタイ！
=== Tips ===
* Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka?
* Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3.
** And watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions.
** And watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California.
* Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo.
=== Counters ===
* Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent.
**Mark watashino fucking words.
*Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto?
**Omou again, fucker.
*As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA.
*And anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi.
*The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life.
*You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.
== Attributes ==
* シールド
* ボーナス 
== Supported Maps ==
* 妻
* 夫
== Weapon Setups ==
我爱北京天安门
==Changelog==
;17.6.0
*最初のリリース.
==Trivia==
*In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!
Category:Weapons
Category:Melee
Category:Shield
Category:Armor Bonus
Category:Themed
Category:Battle Pass
Category:Joke Weapon