The top zombie

One day, Zomboss made an announcement.
Zomboss: Zombies, our Top Zombie, Smitt the Smelly, was destroyed in an industrial accident. So now, there will be a competition for the new Top Zombie! Our contestants are...
Junkyard Dug, our head armorer!
Dr. Professor, one of our leading scientists!
Bulky Bob, athletic trainer!
Mage Matty, linguistic scientist and scholar!
Benko Gambit, head battle strategist!
Captain Mortality, pirate captain!
Zomborg, cyber warrior!
Superior Brainz, Zombie Hero!
Principal DeCay, College Headmaster!
Techy Fixer, Future scientist!
Sekai Zombalitia, samurai warrior!
And Carl Zombo, survivalist extraordinaire!
The next day...
Zomboss: For the first challenge, these zombies must solve the problem of how to get a zombie past these captured plants into the booth!
Junkyard Dug: The simple awnser would be to heavily armor the zombies to counter the plants. Yes, perfect, yes! Great job! I'm going to win for sure!
Dr. Professor: I would use this experimental defoliant to kill the plants. And it worked.
Bulky Bob: If we send in the big, brutish zombies as a distraction, a smaller faster zombie can run in. It worked!
Mage Matty: Ice spell! Just walk in, imp. It's quite safe.
Superior Brainz: Make punches, so many punches! It works!
Principal DeCay: Promise the football team extra credit, and they'll get in so very fast! It worked!
Benko Gambit: There aren't many defenders. Overload them in one spot, then attack the weak spot.
Captain Mortality: Yer over-thinking this Mateys! Just send in the crew and...they failed? I guess I'm out.
Techy Fixer: Take these anti-plant blasters. Now use them! Yes! Sucess!
Sekai Zombalitia: Remember what I taught you. Now just attack...what? They're ganging up on you? That's not fair! I guess I've lost.
Carl Zombo: A night attack is the key. Draw them out and spring the trap. Yes, it worked!
Zomborg: Use laser cutters to cut plants, then enter booth. Mission complete.
Zomboss: For challenge 2, you must escape from this locked room. There's a keycode panel, but don't worry too much about that, the code is relative. Press the button marked concede to concede.
Zomborg: Calculating code...complete. Door opened.
Techy Fixer: If I can just hot-wire this thing, I can...yes! I win!
Mage Matty: Just a spell to de-power the locks, and I escape.
Junkyard Dug: Which button? Eenny, meenvy, miny, mo. Ah, the red one! Wait, that was the concede button. Darn!
Benko Gambit: Let's try some likely combinations. The day Zomboss Enterprises opened? No. Zomboss's birth date? No. Wait, what did he say? Relative? I know! The code is 73528483!
Pricipal DeCay: Hmm, let's try something. There, fill the gap between the doors with water, use the freeze gun that I found in here, and yes! It pushed the doors out of their locks!
Bulky Bob: I can just pull the doors open.
Superior Brainz: Funny beam in black knob makes doors open!
Carl Zombo: No, this pry bar isn't working. There, how do like that? Wait, it hit the concede button!
Zomboss: Third challenge! Find the control switch for the door.
Zomborg: Tracing electrical signatures...control located.
Benko Gambit: A wire puzzle? Very simple. The control is here. In the bush. Did an ordinary zombie design this? It's too easy.
Principal DeCay: Where is it, where is it, where...darn! Out of time!
Techy Fixer: A metal detector will find it for me. Ah, here it is.
Bulky Bob: I can not find it, so I give up.
Mage Matty: A simple vision enhancement potion, and I found it with ease.
Dr. Professor: I can just trace the wires, and one will lead me to the switch here. Yeah!
Superior Brainz: Oh, a mirror, me so handsome. Oh, a bell? Me got distracted and ran out of time.
Dr Zomboss: A final challenge will decide the winner.
The next day... 
Dr Zomboss: I want the remaining five contestants to direct attacks on five different gardens that the plants are using to generate power. The first one to complete the challenge wins! Oh, and by the way, use Flesh avatars. I don't want you to be destroyed while doing this.
At the gardens..,
Peashooter: Oh, zombies coming.
Red Stinger: Why are they wearing those uniforms?
Kernel Corn: Five whole brigades of zombies! The Black and White Brigade, Benko Gambit's first brigade! The Future Fighters, Techy Fixer's brigade! The Cyber Brigade, Zomborg's brigade! The Knights of Zomboss Castle, Mage Matty's brigade! And the Science Soldiers, Dr. Professor's brigade!
Foot Soldier Zombie: Hah! Onlee too plus won brigadez of stinkee plantz! Four all too plus too plus won gardens!
Benko Gambit: Yes, but we're in a race. We must move quickly! Oh, good news, Zomborg's avatar was shut down by an E. M. Peach and destroyed. But Fixer's Brigade is making progress.
Citron 1: Take that zombies!
Citron 2: Yeah, we took out Dr. Professor!
Cabbage-pult: But Benko Gambit is making progress. We've stopped Fixer advancing, though.
Rose: I've got Mage Matty. You concentrate on Gambit.
Buckethead Zombie dressed up as a black rook: We'z winning!
(The Black and White Brigade destroys a garden, but then reinforcements arrive and the zombies have to withdraw)
Zomboss: And it is my pleasure to announce that our new top zombie is...Benko Gambit!
=== References ===
Both Zomboss's reference to Mage Matty as a "Linguistic Scientist" and the use of Flesh avatars are references to Doctor Who.
The Benko Gambit is a chess opening involving an early pawn sacrifice in exchange for long-term pressure on the queenside.Category:Fanfics
Category:Zombie-only Fanfics
Category:Fanfics with pretend Plants or Zombies