CrazySponge Pulls the Presses

CrazySponge Pulls the Presses is the 14th episode of The World of SBFW and the second episode of season two.
== Transcript ==
[The episode begins with the CPTV News jingle. The camera pans over to Travis and Mr. Renaud in the studio at a table facing the camera.]
Narrator: Live from The World of SBFW, it's time for CPTV News with Travis Penniall and Paul Renaud.
Travis: Good evening pedophiles. Today's top headline is the premiere of the "Cult of Squid: World of Chaos" film on SBFW Street. We go live to the red carpet where Timothy Peppermint has more.
[Cut to the premiere of the movie outside a cinema on SBFW Street. Crowds of people and press stand outside the red carpet as the film's stars and directors pose for photos and enter the theatre.]
Timothy Peppermint: Thank you, Travis. Yes today marks the initial premiere of the movie based upon the highly popular spin-off Cult of Squid, created by Ally and later developed by Purple. Wait, Ally?! Ugh, those damn fools need to pick a side. They're either with us, (pulls out a shotgun) or they're against us.
[Tim storms off as Purple and Ally step out of a limo onto the red carpet. Brother Squidward is ahead of them posing for photos. Cut to CrazySponge watching the report in his office.]
CrazySponge: ugh, this is stupid. why do people like this stuff, there are too many words! LIZ! GET OVER HERE! I NEED TO VENT!
[Pause.]
CrazySponge: o right she doesnt work for me anymore. (he pulls out a body pillow with a sexy fortnite character on it) you still care though, right?
[CrazySponge is about to kiss his pillow when SpongeBot enters wearing a maid outfit and carrying a bowl of Cheerios. CrazySponge screams and hides the pillow.]
SpongeBot: I saw that.
CrazySponge: YOU SAW NOTHING!
[Pause.]
CrazySponge: an- anyway, i see youve finally tried on your uniform.
SpongeBot: For the record I haven't agreed to being your personal slave, I just don't have anything else to wear because it's laundry day… also I like it.
CrazySponge: whatever, leave the cheerios on the table
[SpongeBot places the bowl on the table and glances at the TV.]
SpongeBot: Oh, isn't this the Cult of Squid premiere?
CrazySponge: yeah but its garbage. theres too many big smart words i dont understand. also the posters shit, whoever made it really doesnt know anything about graphic design.
[A rock flies through the window. CrazySponge picks it up and reads a note attached "bastard - prim".]
CrazySponge: well its not my first death threat
SpongeBot: Eh, I think COS looks alright actually, I might go at the weekend. The last time I was going to go to the cinema was when SCOOB! came out, and then that whole thing happened. 
CrazySponge: love that film
SpongeBot: Joel and Ally have definitely put more work into COS than we ever will with Meme World.
CrazySponge: DON'T YOU DARE DISRESPECT MEME WORLD TEH MOVAI: THE SQUEAKUEL - ANOTHER MEME WORLD MOVIE!!
SpongeBot: I'm not, it's just that Cult of Squid is… an actual movie, whereas Meme World is… a ninety minute long shitpost.
CrazySponge: and that's what makes it great!
SpongeBot: Aidan, it's called a shitpost for a reas-
[CrazySponge gets an idea.]
CrazySponge: wait a second… what if i held one of those big fancy premieres? then everyone would come to celebrate ME and watch MY movie!
SpongeBot: Don't you mean our movie?
CrazySponge: yeah yeah sure whatever. bot, i think its time you- i mean we- finish teh meme world movai squeakuel!
SpongeBot: Oh no.
CrazySponge: oh yes! and we better make it long too, longer than cos anyway.
SpongeBot: The first film was so long barely anyone watched it!
CrazySponge: bot, the longer my- er, our movie is, the more funny moments we can insert into it. the more funny moments it has, the more people will wanna see it! so in the end, the longer it is, the better.
SpongeBot: It's a film about memes and superheroes named after genitals, how funny could it be?
CrazySponge: INCREDIBLY FUNNY! this film will shatter records, bot. it will break the boundaries of what films can do! after all, people are gonna vote for it at the square logo awards no matter what the films like, not that its gonna be bad. so… you in?
[Pause.]
SpongeBot: The law requires I legally answer yes.
CrazySponge: GREAT! TO THE WRITING ROOM!
[Batman transition to the writing room. SpongeBot is writing the script while CrazySponge sits back eating his Cheerios.]
CrazySponge: boy writing is hard work
SpongeBot: You only wrote one line since this session began.
CrazySponge: huh, really? i counted four.
SpongeBot: You texted Vanessa and asked her to write a few lines for you without any context. Now there's a joke about Mr. Krabs wanting to fuck Squidward in a children's bedroom.
CrazySponge: (smirks) those wacky children… by the way, how far are we into writing? second act? the climax?
SpongeBot: We're done.
CrazySponge: WE'RE DONE?! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
SpongeBot: We're done… with the writing. We still have to do the filming.
CrazySponge: well shit. have fun with that.
[CrazySponge walks off.]
In a world where SpongeBob fanfiction is just grand,
And degeneracy runs rampant all throughout the land
Let me greet you a world full of splendor and misery
The World of the SpongeBob Fanon Wiki…
A world where the villain of the First World War is named Golf
Zoltan's got nothing under there 'cause Dan chopped 'em off
Biggest company, last name Productions, first name Box
I promise you that S-B-F-W will rock your socks
Jasbre, he's a crooked duck, and AceBlueWolfe's falling in love
Prim and Polar wrote this show, but writing a theme song was tough
Aaron, Travis, Kelpy, Purple, Liz, it's never enough
Viewer discretion advised - in this world, it can get real rough
But if you'd want to follow through and see what antics await you
Then keep on watching, I dare you
The Woooooorld of SBFW!
[Cut to SpongeBot filming the movie in Meme World. The camera pans across the set. Alvin the Hedgehog chases Goose into a table, spilling coffee onto the floor and onto PenisMan. He screams and runs into a green screen which then collapses and somehow bursts into flames. CrazySponge rides over to SpongeBot on a segway.]
CrazySponge: looks like things are going well
SpongeBot: Could be worse. 
CrazySponge: you like my segway? my dad works at the nhl he gets a lot of money.
SpongeBot: I don't know what my Dad does. Hey, y'know film sets and stuff, aren't they supposed to be paparazzi and shit?
[A tumbleweed rolls past in the background.]
CrazySponge: eh. so anyway how far are you into the filming
SpongeBot: Still in the first act.
CrazySponge: WHAT?! bot you are FILMING TOO SLOW!! here, let me show you how its done
[CrazySponge pushes SpongeBot aside and grabs one of those director megaphone things.]
CrazySponge: ACTORS!! NO MORE FOOLING AROUND!! WE HAVE A FILM TO FINISH HERE!!
Alvin: Wait, I thought this was one of those yogurt commercials.
[CrazySponge grabs the camera off SpongeBot.]
CrazySponge: make yourself useful and get me one those fancy chairs with my name on it
[He speaks into the megaphone again as SpongeBot rolls her eyes and walks off.]
CrazySponge: ALRIGHT PEOPLE! SCENE UH… SOMETHING OR OTHER TAKE ONE! GO!
[He claps a clapperboard in front of the camera and starts filming.]
Mr. Character: Wait, what's my motive in this scene?
CrazySponge: THE WHOLE OF MEME WORLD IS AT STAKE!
Mr. Character: Yeah, but… why is that a problem?
CrazySponge: JUST START ACTING!!
Mr. Character: Okay, Jeez…
[Mr. Character clears his throat and dramatic music starts playing.]
Mr. Character: Who did this?
Jon: Uhhh...
Fred: Jon. Don't tell me-
Jon: Well all I did was bake him-
Fred: WHAT-
Jon: a pie.
[Laugh track.]
Jon: But my cooking is extremely bad so it might've been me.
CrazySponge: AND CUT!
Mr. Character: Phew, that was a good take.
Fred: I know, right? Really captured the feel of what Meme World is all about.
Jon: Glad my method acting paid off.
CrazySponge: YOU ALL DID TERRIBLE! YOU NEED TO BE FUNNIER!
Mr. Character: Look, I'm trying to do my best with the script you gave us, okay?!
CrazySponge: WELL YOU CLEARLY AREN'T! THIS SCRIPT IS A MASTERPIECE AND IF YOU'RE ALL NOT GONNA GIVE IT YOUR ALL WE'LL JUST REPLACE YOU!
Mr. Character: Oh look at me I'm shaking.
CrazySponge: DON'T YOU DARE BACKCHAT ME! I SPENT $200 ON SPONGEBOB SOCKS!
Mr. Character: What's that got to do with anything?
CrazySponge: you know what, (sigh) JUST GET OUT, YOU'RE FIRED!
Mr. Character: Fuck! Who's gonna stay in my Awesome House now?!
CrazySponge: I SAID GET OUT!
[Mr. Character reluctantly walks off. SpongeBot returns with a directors' chair.]
CrazySponge: do you think theyd notice if we dressed you up as mr character 
[SpongeBot looks offscreen to see Mr. Character leaving.]
SpongeBot: (gasp) MR. CHARACTER NO!
[She drops the chair and runs off. Cut to CrazySponge and SpongeBot back in CrazySponge's office.]
SpongeBot: Welp, I don't know how we did it Aidan, but somehow we finished the film.
CrazySponge: DANCE CELEBRATIon LETS P:AY CLEBERATOON SSONG
[Feel This Moment by Pitbull starts playing as CrazySponge starts doing various Fortnite dances and singing.]
CrazySponge: Oh whoa I just wanna feel this moment Come on, feel this moment Whoa ohh ohh ohh I just wanna feel this moment Whoa ohh ohh ohh I just wanna feel this moment
SpongeBot: Channel 5 own the rights to The Emoji Movie.
[The music suddenly stops.]
CrazySponge: okay enough celebrating, what now
SpongeBot: Well now Aidan we need to do something called actually releasing the film  I don't know if you would have heard of it.
CrazySponge: oh yeah the whole point of all of this was to finish the film and have a world premiere to one-up purps
[Pause.]
CrazySponge: well why dont we do that and call it a day?
SpongeBot: We still have to make the posters and advertisements.
CrazySponge: fu-
[Cut to the world premiere of mEmE wOrLd: teh movai: the squeakuel - another meme world movie outside the same cinema as before on SBFW Street, except this time there are no paparazzi, press, or even moviegoers in sight. Cut to Hoopla driving CrazySponge towards the red carpet in a limousine.]
CrazySponge: this is it hoopla, the day ive been waiting for since i was just a little fetus. of course im infinity years old so this was with the dinosaurs and shit so ive been waiting a long time for this. i cant wait to see all my adoring fans!
[Pause.]
CrazySponge: hold on a second… wheres all the people who came to see my movie?
[CrazySponge steps out of the limousine and looks around. There is still no one there. SpongeBot pulls up next to Hoopla and gets out.]
CrazySponge: bot, where the fuck is everyone?
SpongeBot: Probably off doing actually decent things with their time, like watching Family Guy on Disney+ even though you know it's not a good show but you still somehow enjoy it.
CrazySponge: i just dont get it! where are my fans?! the press? the pepperoni?
SpongeBot: Paparazzi?
CrazySponge: that too! why isnt everyone at my- i mean, our- movie!
SpongeBot: Aidan, wasn't there an episode where you literally summoned a crowd of fans out of thin air? Why can't you just do that again?!
CrazySponge: this is different, this is my big night! the whole world of sbfw is supposed to be here!
[CrazySponge looks down the street and sees several users hanging out through the window of Luis' Crib, a hangout first (and last) seen in War of the Nincompoops.]
CrazySponge: stay here, im gonna kidnap- i mean PERSUADE some people to get over here and watch our movie.
[Cut to CrazySponge bursting through the doors of Luis' Crib.]
Friday: So Zoltan, what's your opinion on human rights?
Zoltan: humans are… very smart… and… they should have… rights
Friday: All of them?
Zoltan: well-
CrazySponge: MAY I HAVE EVERYONES ATTENTION?
[Everyone stops talking amongst themselves and turns to CrazySponge. After a second or so, they go back to whatever they were doing.]
CrazySponge: HEY! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE HERE!
Polar: Yes, yes, Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. We all know.
CrazySponge: NO! THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT!
Polar: Hey! I'll have you know Shadow is a disgusting man and the whole world should be made aware of his heinous war crimes!
Vanessa: What's your announcement Aidan?
CrazySponge: TEH MEME WORLD MOVAI: TEH SQUEAKUEL- ANOTHER MEME WORLD MOVAI IS PREMIERING RIGHT NOW AND YOU'RE ALL MISSING IT!
Vanessa: Oh… I- I wasn't aware that was still a thing.
Primitive: Sounds cool, might watch some day.
CrazySponge: WHAT?! NO!! WATCH IT NOW!!
Vanessa: Look, I'm just gonna be frank with you. I'd rather die than watch that film.
CrazySponge: WHAT?!!!!
Vanessa: Well, I mean unless I lost a bet or something-
CrazySponge: TEH MEME WORLD MOVAI: TEH SQUEAKUEL - ANOTHER MEME WORLD MOVAI IS A CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE AND DESERVES TO BE SEEN BY EVERYONE ON THE BIGGEST SCREEN POSSIBLE RIGHT NOW! SO WHO'S COMING?!
[Everyone stares in silence. Cricket chirp.]
Friday: I'll go.
Vanessa: No, Liv don't! If you watch that film you might not come back aliv- I mean, sure, go watch that film.
CrazySponge: GREAT! one down… everyone else left to go.
Primitive: One more thing, is Goose in Meme World Goose from here?
CrazySponge: no hes the goose from untitled goose game
Primitive: Then I don't like it.
CrazySponge: fuck y- I MEAN- he could be, thats just not the creators intention, but yknow if you want to have that head canon thats perfectly fine
Primitive: oh ok then i like it
CrazySponge: so does that mean youre gonna watch it?
Primitive: Sure, why not. I don't have much to live for anyway.
CrazySponge: YES!
Zoltan: well if prim is going then im going too
CrazySponge: YES! [2] THIS PREMIERE IS ABOUT TO BE THE BOMB! okay, who else is coming?
Einstein: Sorry Aidan, I would come along but I'm kinda busy right now trying to become a furry like you.
CrazySponge: oh okay i understa- WAIT NO-
Elli: Eh, if my son Prim's going I might as well go and make sure he doesn't get into any trouble.
CrazySponge: I AM NOT A FURRY!
Primitive: Thanks mother.
Elli: Anytime.
CrazySponge: okay so now we have like… (he headcounts everyone attending so far) a lot of people going so far.
Vanessa: There's four.
CrazySponge: i mean it's a lot relatively speaking 
Vanessa: Not really.
CrazySponge: four murders is a lot
Vanessa: Yeah but that's murder, not a feature length shitpost about memes.
CrazySponge: same thing
Vanessa: Touché.
Peter Griffin: I'll go too. It can't be much worse than the time I worked for Jasbre Corp.
[Cut to Petah in the Jasbre Corp. writing room.]
Peter Griffin: So uh… when are we gonna start writing Better Days season three?
Jasbre: Sorry, I've just you know not been feeling it lately and-
Peter Griffin: No, no, I understand-
Jasbre: I have big plans for it though.
Peter Griffin: Oh yeah?
Jasbre: Yeah, by the tenth season it's gonna be like the wiki's Simpsons or something.
Peter Griffin: Wait, what was that?
Jasbre: There's gonna be ten seasons?
Peter Griffin: No the other part.
Jasbre: It's gonna be the wiki's Simpsons?
[Petah grabs Jasbre by the neck and brutally punches him. Laugh track because blood is funny.]
Peter Griffin: Don't you dare mention that no-good family name ever again!
Jasbre: Look, I'm sorry, oka-
[Petah punches him again because dragging the joke out longer makes it more funny.]
Peter Griffin: And that's for banging my wife!
[Laugh track because sex is funny. Cut back to Luis' Crib.]
Polar: Huh. That basically sounds like the SpongeThorne group chat. Wi- Without the blood, I mean.
CrazySponge: thats five, then. anyone else?
[Cricket chirp.]
CrazySponge: anyone?
[Pause.]
Vanessa: Well Aidan, looks like that's all you're getting.
CrazySponge: oh come on! we need more than that!
Vanessa: I thought you said four was a lot.
CrazySponge: it's not okay! i lied!
Vanessa: Huh. Okay Aidan, for your honesty I will make you a deal. I will come to your premiere.
CrazySponge: REALLY?!
Vanessa: And I'll drag everyone else in this room along too. IF, only and if, you can give me one good reason why it's worth seeing.
CrazySponge: i can do more than that. it has very good action scenes in it, it has alvin from the hit band alvin and the chipmunks - he does all his own stunts obviously, it's very funny - i laughed a lot while writing it, and uh…
[Everyone gives CrazySponge a deadpan stare.]
CrazySponge: there are… sex scenes?
[After a few seconds silence, most of the room starts cheering and they run out of the room to the premiere. I don't want to be that guy but I did tell you that sex was funny.]
Mr. Renaud: Wait, are they underage sex scenes?
CrazySponge: i- uh… well… they could be if you squint really hard… headcanons and shit
Mr. Renaud: Sweet.
[Renaud races out of the room as well.]
Vanessa: Alright Mr. Sponge, let's see what Box Productions has in store for us.
[Cut to SpongeBot waiting outside the theatre watching Police Interceptors on the My5 app.]
SpongeBot: Those police interceptors sure are wacky!
[Someone taps on her shoulder. She looks up to find a whole crowd of people waiting for the movie.]
Pampers: Hey, uh… is the Meme World Movai?
[The camera pans out to reveal an entire line of people waiting throughout the entire world of SBFW.]
SpongeBot: What the fu-
[CrazySponge approaches SpongeBot.]
CrazySponge: bot what the hell are you doing?!!! we're all impatiently waiting for the film! start the movie already!
SpongeBot: Where the fuck did all these people come from?
CrazySponge: it doesnt matter. just start the movie!
[CrazySponge bursts through the theatre doors and the crowd follows. We see a wideshot of everyone storming the lobby, looting the popcorn machines, etc. Cut to everyone entering the theatre. CrazySponge carries a large bucket of popcorn to his seat at the very back of the theatre, next to SpongeBot, some of the film's cast and Vanessa.]
Vanessa: This better be good, Aidan.
CrazySponge: trust me, it will be
[Cut to Hoopla starting the projector for the room and the film begins. Or at least the TWOS Rating System warning before it does.]
Rating System Narrator: The following film contains very strong language, tempers fraying, anti-social behavior, a highly offensive racial slur, full frontal nudity, CrazySponge, bullying, you know what, this film contains everything that could possibly make it unsuitable for any viewers and should not be viewed by anyone.
CrazySponge: i told you this film would be good
Brian Griffin: Ah good, it's starting.
Peter Griffin: Yeah that's what you say, I can never figure out when the hell the studio logos end and the actual movie begins.
[The Box Productions opening logo starts playing.]
CrazySponge: BRACE YOURSELVES EVERYONE AND GET READY FOR THE FUNNIEST, MOST HEARTWARMING, MOST ENTERTAINING, MOST-
[Cut to the entire world of SBFW leaving the theatre angered at the film.]
Liz: I didn't even pay any money and I still feel ripped off.
Pampers: Yeah, what a waste of time.
Mr. Renaud: There weren't even any children in it!
Peter Griffin: Yeah, that was much worse than the time I-
Stewie Griffin: PETER, WATCH OUT!
[Petah gets run over by a car. The car window slowly slides down to reveal Jasbre in the driver's seat.]
Jasbre: Now that's what I call a certified Steve Buscemi moment.
[CrazySponge runs out of the theatre. SpongeBot and Vanessa slowly follow behind him.]
CrazySponge: NO! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! YOU'RE GONNA MISS THE POST-CREDITS SCENE THAT SETS UP THE REST OF THE MEME WORLD CINEMATIC UNIVERSE!
[Everyone drives off.]
CrazySponge: OH COME ON!
Vanessa: Well that could have gone worse.
CrazySponge: y- you liked the movie though right? right?
Vanessa: Well this might not be a valid opinion because I never watched the first one so I didn't get some of the wider references to Meme World lore, but that was honestly the worst movie I have ever seen.
CrazySponge: WHAT?!
Vanessa: Yeah, sorry.
CrazySponge: hmmm… i mean, it's amazing. you are one hundred percent wrong. nothing you said has been right!
Vanessa: Wasn't as bad as The SpongeBob n' Stuff Movie though, but to be fair in that film Tom Kenny does voice both The Joker and George Pig.
CrazySponge: come on! surely you liked some of it!
Vanessa: Well… the credits were cool. The joke about Mr. Krabs wanting to fuck Squidward in a children's bedroom was absolutely abysmal however, I have no idea how FANDOM allowed that.
CrazySponge: YOU WROTE THAT JOKE!
Vanessa: I know, and you're stupid for putting it in.
CrazySponge: wait, are you seriously telling me you made the movie bad… ON PURPOSE?!!
Vanessa: Well I didn't actually expect you to put it in.
CrazySponge: I'M CRAZYSPONGE HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT
Vanessa: Eh, honestly now I kinda feel bad about this.
[Pause.]
Vanessa: Oh well, tomorrow's Saturday so I better go home and get ready to Review the Charts! 📈 See ya Aidan, Bot.
[Vanessa walks off.]
SpongeBot: Well that was fun.
CrazySponge: FUN?! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST FILM EVER MADE AND THE AUDIENCE ACTED LIKE THAT!
SpongeBot: That's what I mean, fun right?!
CrazySponge: NO! you see bot, what's going to happen now is everyone's going to go home and shittalk the movie to everyone and then no one will want to come and see it and we'll be done for!
SpongeBot: So? Like you said earlier people are going to vote for it in the Square Logo Awards purely because it's the Meme World Movai 2.
CrazySponge: BOT! remember the last time this sort of thing happened? everyone was traumatized for WEEKS!
SpongeBot: Nice reference.
CrazySponge: WE NEED GOOD REVIEWS BOT! GOOD REVIEWS!
SpongeBot: Well what are we going to do then?
[Cut to CrazySponge approaching a train at a train station wearing a trench coat. Zoltan follows from a distance also wearing a trenchcoat.]
Zoltan: huh? crazyspoon?
[Zoltan follows CrazySponge onto the train, and then follows him around Meme World from a distance as he does things like having a portrait done by a street artist. We finally see CrazySponge entering a gnome warehouse. He approaches two journalists and Zoltan watches from behind two boxes.]
CrazySponge: gentlemen, i need a review for teh meme world squeakquel to go out into the paper a-s-a-p, super positive, five stars.
Journalist 1: Heh, this is just like the hit movie Muppets: Most Wanted.
CrazySponge: yeah, talk about a lazy way to shoehorn a reference in.
[Polar sobs offscreen.]
CrazySponge: anyway, back to the matter at hand
Journalist 2: I won't be paid for a review, I'm a journalist. (smirks) I'm joking, of course, cash or credit?
[We see CrazySponge bribing several other critics. Cut to him in Doug Walker's office.]
CrazySponge: over-exaggerate everything or whatever, just really drive that this is the best film of the year, ever even. make the review funny as well, no one's gonna want to watch if the review's boring and too critical.
[Cut to CrazySponge talking to well respected critic PoopFan69 down an alleyway. He slides him a suitcase full of tickets.]
CrazySponge: hand these out to anyone who will take one, you might even need to pay them. ooh, and i want a standing ovation too, and lots of crying at the emotional parts.
[Cut to CrazySponge in his office. He walks towards his computer in his Hoopla pyjamas holding a bowl of Cheerios. He whistles some song from Minecraft and he places the bowl of cereal on his desk and sits down.]
CrazySponge: time to check twitter, doodly doo, nothing bad has ever come from that
[CrazySponge opens Twitter dot com and is immediately greeted with the Rotten Strawberries rating for the Meme World sequel.]
CrazySponge: ONE HUNDRED PERCENT?!!!
[SpongeBot bursts into the room.]
SpongeBot: Aidan, what's with the commotion? It's 3 in the morning and I'm watching Police Interceptors-
[She checks the computer screen.]
SpongeBot: ONE HUNDRED PERCENT?!!!
CrazySponge: THATS WHAT I SAID!
SpongeBot: HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?! DID YOU BRIBE THEM OR SOMETHING?!
CrazySponge: maybe
SpongeBot: AIDAN, WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY FROM TO- oh right, Box Productions, duh.
CrazySponge: this is amazing bot, look!
[He scrolls through Twitter and reads various tweets praising the film.]
CrazySponge: "meme world 2 is cinema", "i love teh meme world squeakquel", "please watch this film", everyone loves it! well, except ally, but she hates everything with my name on it so it's cool.
SpongeBot: I just don't get it. Sure, you wasted millions I'm assuming on bribing critics to hail this as the best film ever made, but then how comes everyone else suddenly likes it now? You saw them at the premiere!
CrazySponge: idk, they're just going along with it because it's popular now or something.
SpongeBot: Ah, I see. It's like the edgy SBFW phase.
CrazySponge: i thought we were still in that phase.
SpongeBot: Yeah but now we're just slightly more PG.
CrazySponge: o
[The phone on CrazySponge's desk suddenly rings. He picks it up.]
CrazySponge: 'ello
Polar: (on other end) Yeah, hi-
CrazySponge: polar? what are you doing up? its 3am! if youre gonna ask for a maid costume again im gonna-
Polar: Oh, since everyone went on strike and left and shit I've kinda just been on the front desk 24/7.
CrazySponge: o
Polar: Anyway what are you doing- nevermind. So, uh, I know it's kinda early and shit but-
[A shadow starts approaching the office.]
SpongeBot: Ummm… Aidan?
CrazySponge: can you speed it up polar, someones coming
Polar: Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you about. She's here.
CrazySponge: who's here
[Arre enters the room.]
CrazySponge: oh fuck
[CrazySponge suddenly hangs up.]
SpongeBot: Oh, hey, sweet dictator Arre, what a pleasant surprise! I- uh, if this is about the piracy I can-
Arre: No, no, it's nothing bad. I know it's early but I just had to see Mr. Sponge.
[CrazySponge gulps.]
Arre: Aidan, for your work on "teh meme world movai: teh squeakuel - another meme world movai", I would like to present you with this.
[She pulls out a nobel peace trophy.]
CrazySponge: oh sweet a golden drinking cup! that'll go nicely with the others.
SpongeBot: (whispering) Aidan, that's a Nobel Peace Prize.
CrazySponge: o
[Pause.]
CrazySponge: HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF GOD I GOT A NOBEL PRIZE!!!
[CrazySponge throws confetti in the air and celebrates while this music plays.]
SpongeBot: Ms. Arre, I mean this in the nicest way possible but you belong in a mental asylum.
Arre: I thought The World of SBFW was a mental asylum.
SpongeBot: Aidan, I love you-
CrazySponge: -aw-
SpongeBot: -but what the fuck has this guy done to win this?!
Arre: Since this movie came out The World of SBFW has gone the longest it's ever gone without drama or fights or sexual degeneracy ever!
CrazySponge: not counting the premiere it's been out for three hours
Arre: Exactly! Everyone just loves it!
SpongeBot: Aidan, I know you bribed everyone, but how the fuck?
CrazySponge: well i dont mean to toot my own horn but i am the best
SpongeBot: Wait, Arre! I worked on this film too, don't I get anything?
Arre: Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
[She searches her handbag and pulls out Scoob! on DVD.]
Arre: Here you go!
SpongeBot: I've never wanted anything more in my entire life.
Arre: Well, I should be going. I have a foreign affairs meeting with The World of Peppa Pig Fanon later.
SpongeBot: I forgot about that place. I still haven't released my spin-off The Tragic Tales of Peppa Pig.
CrazySponge: i guess that really is tragic
Arre: Oh, one last thing - there's going to be a parade through SBFW Street later to celebrate your victory. See ya!
[Arre leaves.]
CrazySponge: well that just happened 
SpongeBot: Aidan, you fuck up a lot but this time you've really fucked up.
CrazySponge: how so i just saved sbfw
SpongeBot: YOU LIED TO EVERYONE!
CrazySponge: yeah and all i got out of it was a stupid trophy and a parade in my honour, you lucked out with scoob
SpongeBot: Well I mean I do like Scoob!... but this still feels wrong.
CrazySponge: bot this is the world of sbfw. what do you want me to do, tell the truth?!
SpongeBot: YES!
[Pause.]
CrazySponge: (sigh) okay, fine, ill tell the truth-
[Cut to the two on a parade float shaped like a bowl of Cheerios downtown SBFW Street. CrazySponge is wearing a crown.]
CrazySponge: -after the parade
[SpongeBot groans. We see various users and citizens cheering to them down the street.]
CrazySponge: thank you! thank you! i love all of you too!
[Peter Griffin lifts up his shirt to reveal a Hoopla tattoo around his belly button.]
Peter Griffin: (crying) That's my hero right there that is!
Stewie Griffin: BRIAN LOOK OUT!
[Brian is heard being run over by the parade float. Stewie and Peter flinch.]
Stewie Griffin: (turns to Peter) Wait didn't you get run over earlier in the episode?
Peter Griffin: Eh.
CrazySponge: you see dear bot, this is what life is all about.
SpongeBot: You should still apologize.
CrazySponge: in due time, bot, in due time. let's just play it out a little longer.
SpongeBot: Mmph.
CrazySponge: i mean it's not like anyone is going to come along and expose us-
[Zoltan suddenly jumps out into the road in front of the float.]
Stewie Griffin: ZOLTAN LOOK-
[The float stops in time.]
Stewie Griffin: Oh he's fine. False alarm everyone!
CrazySponge: z- z- z- ZOLTAN?!!!!
Zoltan: yes that it is j
[Pause.]
CrazySponge: so are you just gonna block the parade or are you gonna-
Zoltan: I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! CRAZYSPONGE IS A BIG DOO-DOO HEAD!
[The crowd of people murmur.]
Vanessa: I mean, yeah, a few hours ago I would have agreed and yet here we are having a parade in his honour.
Liz: Yeah! CrazySponge would never do anything stupid or ignorant!
CrazySponge: zoltan can we move this along? i have a merchandising deal soon and i cannot afford to be late.
Zoltan: CRAZYSPOON BRIDED THE PRESS INTO RITIMG GOOD REVIEWS ABOUT MEM WORLD!
Polar: Aw, he brided them! That's cute.
Zoltan: NO! HE BRIBED THEM!
Polar: Oh, that's not cute.
CrazySponge: zoltan! how dare you even suggest such a thing! i am hurt- wounded even!
Zoltan: LOOK! I HAVE PROOF!
[Zoltan takes put a phone and shows it to everyone. A Luigi fancam set to Scatman's World plays.]
Luigi: (blushes) Mama mia!
Zoltan: oh wait wrong video
[Zoltan changes the video to footage of CrazySponge from earlier.]
CrazySponge (in the video): gentlemen, i need a review for teh meme world squeakquel to go out into the paper a-s-a-p, super positive, five stars.
Journalist 1 (in the video): Heh, this is just like the hit movie Muppets: Most Wanted.
Prim: Hey that is just like the hit movie Muppets: Most Wanted!
Journalist 2 (in the video): I won't be paid for a review, I'm a journalist. (smirks) I'm joking, of course, cash or credit?
[The crowd gasps and murmurs amongst themselves again.]
Vanessa: Aidan… is this true?!
CrazySponge: i- uh… well you see… uh, we live in the age of deepfakes
Dan: I mean he has a point, the Billie Eilish incident sure was convincing.
CrazySponge: EXACTLY! who says this video isnt another one of those hoaxes?
Golfpecks: Presidential harassment?!
CrazySponge: this guy gets it!
SpongeBot: But you're not a president of anything.
CrazySponge: well i am the president of bp
SpongeBot: Aidan… you need to do the right thing.
[Pause. Everyone turns to CrazySponge.]
CrazySponge: (sigh) alright, i confess. i bribed everyone so they would write good reviews.
Zoltan: HA! I KNEW IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- (he starts choking) eugh.
CrazySponge: i only did it because everyone at the premiere said they hated the film, and i was scared my passion project was going to get really bad reviews and bomb at the box office. its invalidating, you know. i guess when the reviews came out everyone just followed on. i didn't expect it to come to this! im sorry guys, and im sorry to all my fans who looked up to me and box productions. (he takes his crown off) you can all go home and shittalk the film now, i understand if you want the trophy back.
[Cut to everyone in the crowd silently staring at CrazySponge with open mouths.]
Liz: Huh, I never thought I'd see the day when CrazySponge actually confessed and slash or apologized for something.
[After another pause, the entire crowd suddenly bursts into spontaneous laughter.]
CrazySponge: wait wut
Peter Griffin: (laughing and pointing at CrazySponge) What an idiot!
CrazySponge: what the fuck is going on
Vanessa: Aidan, you said "sorry" for something, that's the funniest thing I've heard all week! ...and also very out of character. Are you on something?
SpongeBot: Just Cheerios.
CrazySponge: wait… so you don't want my shit back?
Arre: Of course not!
Vanessa: If the movie releasing led up to this, I'd say that's a very damn good movie.
CrazySponge: huh, i guess everything worked out in the end
SpongeBot: Huh, it did… this is still The World of SBFW right?!
Vanessa: I think so. Just to be sure, CrazySponge is gonna forget all about this life lesson by next episode, right?
CrazySponge: what life lesson
Vanessa: Nothing, Aidan, nothing.
Primitive: Wait, wait, wait, this ending's much too wholesome and cheesy for a show like this.
Polar: Yeah, you're right. Quick, we need to do something really edgy and degenerate to get our audience back!
Primitive: Or we could just cut to CrazySponge waking up from a dream or some shit and call it a day.
CrazySponge: i mean i was just gonna suggest we say a racial slur or some-
[Cut to CrazySponge waking up from a dream or some shit.]
CrazySponge: DAMN YOU, PRIMITIVESPONGE129 AND POLARTEM!!!
happy one year anniversary or whatever
Category:2021
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:2021 Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episodes written by Thatjess
Category:Episodes written by PrimitiveSponge129
Category:Coral Blue Productions
Category:The Teal Horizon Company
Category:PI
Category:The World of SBFW
Category:Anniversaries
Category:PI
Category:PI
Category:2020s
Category:Blue Lobster Productions