Pig Family Values

Pig Family Values is the thirty-second episode of The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show, and the tenth episode of the third season. 
The episode was written by and released on September 25, 2022.
==Transcript==
[Open on an outside shot of Mummy Pig’s house, where Daddy Pig is let back into as of the previous episode.]
Peppa: *gasp* Daddy’s back!
Daddy Pig: Yep!
Mummy Pig: He’s just here till his new friend lets him back in his house!
Peppa: Mummy, why did Daddy’s friend kick Daddy out?
Mummy Pig: Ummm...
Daddy Pig: *whispers into Mummy Pig’s ear* I accidentally killed his snail, twice!
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: He- Ummmmm- He was kicked out because... Daddy stopped paying the rent!
Peppa: Oh.
Narrator: Mummy Pig is a liar.
Mummy Pig: DON’T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KIDS!!!
Narrator: Mummy Pig is very mad at me.
[Pause.]
Peppa: Daddy?
Daddy Pig: Yes Peppa?
Peppa: Can I go do something on you computer?
Daddy Pig: Yeah sure.
French Narrator: Five Minutes Later...
[Someone knocked on the door]
Daddy Pig: Come in!
[Someone kicks down the door]
Officer Panda: Daddy Pig, you are under arrest for selling a toy dinosaur on the black market!
Daddy Pig: Oy?
Officer Panda: You have illegally sold a toy Dino on the black market.
Daddy Pig: PEPPA!
Peppa: [Walks in] Yes, Daddy?
Daddy Pig: Did you sell George’s dinosaur on the black market?
Peppa: Well, it wouldn’t be George’s Dinosaur anymore...
Daddy Pig: PEPPA!
Peppa: Fine! I’ll go get it back. But you have to take me there!
Daddy Pig: Ok.
[Cut to North Korea, where Daddy Pig and Peppa Pig are standing in front of the Ryongsong Residence]
Daddy Pig: WHY THE FLYING FUCK ARE WE AT KIM JONG-UN’S HOUSE?!
Narrator: Oh dear. Peppa has sold George’s dinosaur to North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-Un!
Daddy Pig: Well, I guess we better knock on the door.
[Daddy Pig knocks on the door]
Kim Jong-Un: [Opens door] 안녕하십니까?
Daddy Pig: Oy?
Narrator: Daddy pig does not know Korean.
Kim Jong-Un: 아 젠장! 더러운 미국인! 그들은 어떻게 여기까지 왔습니까?
Daddy Pig and Peppa: Ummmmmm...
Kim Jong-Un: 공룡장난감 말씀하시는건가요? 으악! 근위 연대! 이 2개를 캠프에 가져오세요!
[North Korean troops start chasing Daddy Pig and Peppa Pig]
Daddy Pig: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
[Suddenly an helicopter arrives, with a British Royal Guard inside]
British Guard: Quick! This is my only day not solely protecting the monarch until King Charles dies!
[Daddy Pig and Peppa Pig hop on to the helicopter as it flies away]
Daddy Pig: [Gets out the Dinosaur] Look what I got
French Narrator: One flight back to Peppa Pig World later...
Daddy Pig: [Gets back inside, Gives George his dinosaur back] Here you go, George!
George: Dinosaur! Grrr!
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: So, Um, you wanna see the scrapbook of the stuff I’ve done well at my friend, SpongeBob’s, house?
[Cut to everyone on the couch, with Daddy Pig flipping though his scrapbook]
Daddy Pig: So here’s me meeting SpongeBob, here’s me at Christmas dinner at the Krusty Krab, here’s me in a rap battle against Mrs. Puff and Madame Gazelle, here’s me when SpongeBob was diagnosed with autism-
Peppa: That’s what George has! *snort*
Daddy Pig: Here’s me watching PenisMan get Tiddles the Tortoise down from a tree, here’s me and Mummy Sheep confronting Boris Johnson about him killing Suzy Sheep, Here’s me snacking on Colin the Caterpillar biscuits well at Grandpa and Granny Pig’s house, Here’s me building a strip club for Pampy and Jeffery Epstein, I accidentally built them an IKEA, Here’s me punching a punching bag at the gym right before I passed out, Heres me buying a car, Here’s me and SpongeBob hanging out with Rebecca Rabbit, AKA the Easter Bunny, here’s me building the “Church of Daddy Pig”, here’s me and SpongeBob walking though the cartoon graveyard, Here’s me on the moon, here’s me bailing Mummy Sheep out of prison, here’s me getting a time travel watch from Sandy, here’s me in Prehistoric times-
George: Dinosaur! Grrr!
Peppa: Daddy, what are you blocking with your finger? [Points to Daddy Pig’s finger, which is blocking Caveman George getting eaten]
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: Uhhhhh... Nothing important. And last but not least, here’s me saving Bugs Bunny as PenisMan’s sidekick!
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: Wait you’ve met the Easter Bunny?
Daddy Pig: Yes.
[Pause.]
Mummy Sheep: Wanna catch up on the stuff we did?
[Pause..]
Daddy Pig: Yes.
[Cut to the family at the McDonalds drive-thru; an instrumental version of the theme song starts playing]
Worker: *On the speaker* Welcome to McDonalds, what do you want to order?
Mummy Pig: *doing a Ronald McDonald impression* One-Week vacation. Paid.
Worker: *On the speaker* Yes, boss!
[Mummy Pig drives away, giggling; Cut to the family at Squidward’s house]
[Mummy Pig rings the door bell]
Squidward: *Opens the door* Hello?
Mummy Pig: You have won $1B for you band’s performance of sweet victory! Go to redeem.totallynotavirus.com/money to clam your reward!
Squidward: Wow! I’m gonna go to that right now! *closes the door*
Mummy Pig: *laughs*
[Cut to King Charles III giving a speech]
Charles III: ...And that was Queen Elizabeth II’s last words!
[The crowd cheers, Mummy Pig drives up]
Mummy Pig: STOP LYING YOU BUGGER!!! YOU STUPID TWAT!
Peppa: Mummy, what’s a twat?
Mummy Pig: Not now Peppa, the adults are talking. YOU BOOBY MONARCH! YOU FALSE KING! YOU DUMB DIMWIT! YOU-
[The music stops]
Charles III: *talking to Liz Truss* Get the guards.
[Cut to the Pig family in prison, where there in the same cell as Boris Johnson; Daddy Pig and Boris Johnson are playing chess]
Boris Johnson: CHECKMATE!
Daddy Pig: Fine! Just sign this document to make it official. 
Boris Johnson: Shit! I don’t have a pen!
Daddy Pig: Here, use mine! *Hands Boris a stick of dynamite*
[The jail cell explodes. The family escapes through the gap]
Officer Panda: *off screen* BORIS!!!
[Cut to the family entering the house]
Daddy Pig: Well, we are probably being hunted down by the police as we speak, what should we do now?
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: Let’s sing the Expert Daddy Pig song.
Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, Peppa, and George: 🎵Daddy, can we help put up the picture?
Oh-ho! I know what I'm doing, Peppa!
Don't break the wall, Daddy!
Don't worry, Peppa
After all, I am a qualified structural engineer
Daddy Pig is handy as we all can see
Hanging up a picture of the family
He taps with his hammer, so expertly
Hmm...
Daddy Pig is a bit of an expert, as surely cannot miss
He's a bit of an expert
Let me handle this
Daddy Pig is a bit of an expert, no job too small or big
He's a bit of an expert, too small for Daddy Pig
What does everyone fancy for lunch today?
Can we have pizza, please?
Pizza, pizza!
Oh-ho! I'm a bit of an expert in making pizza
Daddy Pig is handy as we all can see
Cooking in the kitchen with the family
He spins a pizza expertly
Watch this!
Daddy has a pizza on his head!
Daddy Pig is a bit of an expert, as surely cannot miss
He's a bit of an expert
Let me handle this
Daddy Pig is a bit of an expert, no job too small or big
He's a bit of an expert, too small for Daddy Pig
Daddy Pig is so smart, he's a qualified engineer
With a plan from the from the start, give a cheer 'cause he is here!
Hooray!
Now, we need a car to drive to our holiday house
We're going on holiday!
Daddy Pig is handy as we all can see
Driving in the country with the family
He checks the map, so expertly
Daddy, we don't want to get lost!
Don't worry, Peppa! I'm an expert in map-reading
Oh, that's strange
Are we lost?
Uhh... yes
Daddy Pig is a bit of an expert, as surely cannot miss
He's a bit of an expert
Let me handle this
Daddy Pig is a bit of an expert, no job too small or big
Because he's a bit of an expert!
That's why we love you, Daddy Pig!🎵
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: Nah. Needs a chorus.
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: Let’s all go to Glove World!
Peppa and George: Yeah!
Daddy Pig: What-
[Cut to the family at Glove World]
Daddy Pig: 4 day tickets, please.
Glove World Owner: Sir, it’s 7:30PM.
Daddy Pig: Whatever.
[The Family walks into Glove World]
Peppa: Daddy, can me and George go on the Mitten?
Daddy Pig: Yeah sure.
Mummy Pig: Daddy Pig, let’s go on the Tunnel of Glove!
Daddy Pig: Ok.
[Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig walk over to the Tunnel of Glove]
Mummy Pig: We would like to go on the Tunnel of Glove.
Glove World employee: That will be $10, please.
Mummy Pig: Can I pay in British pounds?
[Pause.]
Glover World employee: Yeah sure.
[Mummy Pig hands the employee the money, and she and Daddy Pig go into the Tunnel of Glove, Mummy Sheep then walks by]
Mummy Sheep: I would like to go on the Tunnel of Glove.
Glover World employee: Alone, eh? $5.
Mummy Sheep: Can I pay in British pounds?
[Pause.]
Glover World employee: *moans* Yeah sure.
[Mummy Sheep hands the employee the money, and goes into Tunnel of Glove; Cut to Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig riding the Tunnel of Globe]
Daddy Pig: According to my old friend SpongeBob, the ride is pretty spooky!
Mummy Pig: Lol.
Daddy Pig: You know what, I think it was broken.
Mummy Pig: Lol.
Daddy Pig: Stop saying lol!
Mummy Pig: Lol.
[Pause.]
Mummy Pig: Sorry.
Daddy Pig: *sighs* Mummy Pig, can I ask you something?
Mummy Pig: Yeah?
[Daddy Pig stands up and gets on his knees]
Daddy Pig: Mummy Pig, will you remarry me?
[Zoom over to Mummy Sheep]
Mummy Sheep: *gasp*
French Narrator: To Be Continued...
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