Night of the Living Pharmacists: Alternate HISHE

==Transcript==
The Doof zombie had the two men cornered with no chance of escape. "Lots of me…" groaned the pharmacist.
"What do we do?" Joachin Phoenix asked the other man.
"I heard a theory," responded Mel Gibson. "I heard they don't like water."
"Water, huh? That's a dumb theory. I mean, water is like one of the most abundant elements in the universe, why would they have that as a weakness?"
"I know, right? It pretty much goes against all the logic that formulates the theory of evolution. Just try it! Here, I've got a glass of water conveniently located right here in my hand!"
"Thanks," Joachin Phoenix said, taking the glass. "And I've got a baseball bat here; I'll just smash the glass and spray water all over it!" Just as he said, he lobbed the glass a little into the air in front of him and swung the bat mightily at the glass like a baseball. Water flecks flew all over the Doof zombie, and in a flash of static it transformed back into its original host's self.
"I still say this makes no sense at all," Simon Pegg told the camera.
At that moment, Brad Pitt arrived. "Guys! I found the solution! We should all inject ourselves with a deadly strain of meningitis, then the zombies will leave us alone! See, watch!" Taking a hypodermic needle, he stabbed it into his arm and injected the solution.
A Doof zombie came along, and Brad Pitt walked over to it. "Not so scary now, are you?" He began, but the pharmacist reached out and touched him, causing him to convulse from the electrostatic shock. "Oh crud, this didn't happen in the book! I've been—gahhh! Lots of me…"
How Night of the Living Pharmacists Should Have Ended
"Well, it was just a simple Repulse-inator," Doofenshmirtz was explaining, "you know, to make Roger ugly, but then there was some sort of power surge and this happened!"
"Well, that explains the electrostatic charge that's changing everybody," thought Phineas, "but we need some sort of conductor that neutralizes it."
Isabella had the answer. "Well, water neutralizes static."
"Yes! Water should change everyone back!" exclaimed Phineas. "But we've gotta find a way to get everyone in Danville wet at once, otherwise the contagion could start again."
"We can wait till it rains," suggested Isabella.
"Ugh, but we don't have time!" Candace insisted. "And when does it ever rain here?"
Phineas and Ferb glanced at each other. "Actually, Ferb and I discovered the trick to summoning instant rain at a moment's notice earlier this summer."
"You guys learned how to control the weather?" asked Candace.
Phineas shook his head. "Not control the weather, no; just how to make it rain. Remember, Isabella?"
A light bulb went off in the Fireside Patrol Leader's head. "Of course!" she exclaimed in awe at how simple the answer really was.
There was a camera wipe. Now everyone in the group was holding various instruments. Ferb had a bagpipe, Isabella some drums.
"Alright, everybody," directed Phineas, "one, two, three!
'E's a fishmonger, and 'e flies.
'E's a fishmonger, and 'e flies."
Together the group sang the monotone song, and immediately thunderclouds gathered over the gloomy setting. In an instant the floodgates opened, pouring rain all over the city. Thousands of Doof zombies were pelted by the falling water, transforming the people back into their regular selves.
"Wow," remarked Doofenshmirtz, "I can't believe that actually worked! But you know what I don't understand, how did you kids get those musical instruments so fast?"
"How did you get that helicopter so fast?" replied Vanessa.
"I don't know." Doofenshmirtz thought for a moment. "But wait, you weren't even in that scene! You shouldn't know about that."
"You weren't in the scene where Buford said, 'what's shakin', bacon?'" Phineas pointed out.
"Touché."
"Isabella, are you okay?" asked Phineas.
"Yeah, just a little foggy," said a frizzy-haired Isabella.
"What happened?"
"I remember building the vortex sprayer, but, after that I've got no clue."
"Me neither, but whatever happened, it worked."
Ferb climbed atop the water tower to join them. "Hold on," he questioned in his British accent. 
"I can remember everything. I even remember trying to infect you both while you were busy jeopardizing the mission by sharing your feelings for each other."
"I know," Phineas said, reaching out to hold hands with his new girlfriend. "We were just messing with ya."
"Gotcha!" Isabella added, resting her head on Phineas' shoulder as they turned to watch the sunrise.
"We even remember meeting Vanessa's dad after he crash landed in that helicopter," said Phineas. "See? There they are, over there with Candace. Hi Candace! Hi Vanessa and Vanessa's dad," he waved.
They waved back.
"Good thing Dr. D decided to put his clothes back on," Isabella noted.
"Yeah," agreed Phineas. "And look, that weird platypus-slash-pharmacist zombie was actually 
Perry! Hi Perry!"
Perry waved back, then remembered he still had his fedora on.
"Oh, great," said Monogram, as he and Carl appeared on the watertower beside the children. 
"Agent P, your cover's been blown again! Now we have no choice but to erase your memories!"
"But Phineas and I are finally together!" Isabella protested.
"Too bad! We have to preserve the continuity until Act Your Age. Carl, you know what to do!"
"Yes sir," saluted the intern. A large mechanical contraption facing the kids flashed brightly.
Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella groggily blinked their eyes a few times. "What happened?" asked Phineas. "Where are we? And why am I holding hands with Isabella?"
"And why are we all wet?" added the Fireside Girl.
Before any of their questions could be answered, Irving arrived using the metal rungs that had magically reappeared since being uprooted by the vortex sprayer. "Hi guys," he greeted. "Don't worry, I've got the whole thing on film!" He held out his laptop and pressed the play button to show the others.
"I like you!" Isabella shouted above the din of the pharmacists.
"I like you too, Isabella!" responded Phineas, looking up from his work on the vortex sprayer.
"No! I mean I like you like you!"
The Phineas standing on the watertower gasped. "I remember everything!" Turning to his soon-to-be-renewed girlfriend, he dropped down on one knee. "Can we be together forever and ever and ever?"
"Oh my gosh, Phineas! Yes!" squealed Isabella.
Irving squealed louder. "The fans are gonna go nuts when they see this Phinabella moment!" he told nobody in particular. "And I got it all on my camera!" He pounced back on the rungs to descend back to ground level. "I gotta post this on my blog pronto!"
The attention shifted back to the love birds. "So, Phineas," asked Isabella, "what are we gonna do today?"
Before he could answer, they were interrupted yet again by two full-grown men.
"Greetings, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella," one of the men said in a serious tone. "I'm Agent Povenmire and this is my partner, Agent Marsh."
"We're from a top secret government division known as the Dudes in Blue," said Agent Marsh.
"We're sorry it has to be like this," Agent Povenmire continued, "but we can't allow you to keep your memories after today, so we're gonna have to wipe them."
As he said it, the both of them chicly whipped out a set of identical blue sunglasses and placed them on their noses. Agent Marsh held up a tiny laser-like device the size of a pen.
"But Phineas and I are finally together!" Isabella protested.
"Too bad! We have to preserve the continuity until Act Your Age," Agent Marsh informed them.
"You can at least take some pleasure in knowing that you two are together in a galaxy far, far away," Agent Povenmire added as an afterthought. "Though, technically, none of that is canon."
There was another blinding flash. The edges of the television screen became apparent as the movie ended and turned to a blizzard of pixelated static.
Isabella, who sat snuggled up next to Phineas on the couch, clicked the remote, turning the TV off. "Pff. Horror movies. Scary, but so unbelievable."
"You said it, sugar," stretched Phineas. "So, do you wanna, like, make out and stuff, now?"
Isabella put the clicker down. "Okay."
The End? *BUM!*
Thanks for reading! I do not own Phineas and Ferb or How It Should Have Ended. Coming soon: Mission Marvel!
"There it is!" exclaimed Isabella, pointing at the remains of the Repulse-inator. "That must be where the ray came from!"
"It sure doesn't look like it could produce any electrostatic rays," said Phineas upon closer inspection.
"That's because it kinda exploded after the power surge," explained Doofenshmirtz.
"Okay," Phineas said, "so if this machine exploded, shouldn't the ray's effect have worn off afterwards? I mean, that's pretty much how things go in every other episode. It seems to me that none of this should have even happened!"
"Hmm," replied Vanessa, "that's a good point. I guess my dad's inators only continue to work after they get destroyed when we're in a special."
"Well, at least Phineas didn't get mad at anyone this time," commented one of the Doof zombies in Buford's voice. "Those scenes always annoy me.
Category:Alternate Endings