The Marone Mongoose

Episode Description: Mee and PinkFrosting88 break into the Captain's Club to steal something. What is that something? Well, I'm sure we'll find out someday.
==Transcript==
(it's super-pitch black in the Captain's club; enter PF88 and Mee (only their pearly-white eyes can be seen)
Pinkfrosting88: Well, maybe we should have brought night-vision goggles.
MEE: No way! They mess up my hair. Let's just turn on the light.
Pinkfrosting88: No way! We'll get caught!
MEE: Well, if anyone walks in here, it's not like we'll be able to see 'em coming, will we?
Pinkfrosting88: Of course we will! If any idiot walks in, we'll see their pearly-white eyes glowing in the dark!
(Space Tree turns on the light; Mee had the trumpet for some reason; he drops it and covers PF88's mouth)
MEE: (whispering) Don't move. He can't see us if we don't move...
SPACE TREE: ...The hell are you two doing here?
MEE: Damn it, I told you not to move!
Pinkfrosting88: I didn't! (knocking Mee off) He's not a friggin' T-Rex! It's just Space Tree!
MEE: Oh, yeah. What are you doing here?
SPACE TREE: Well, (clicks mouth), I own this place now.
Pinkfrosting88: Well, what happened to that freak who used to run this place?
MEE: Yeah, that friggin' two-headed freak?
Pinkfrosting88: That guy was a ****in' freak. (One of her tentacles drips fluid)
SPACE TREE: Well, first of all, I think it's technically two guys and-
(enter Professor Clerman with tray of drinks, wearing Allon's hat, on super roller skates)
CLERMAN: Good evening, patrons, and welcome to the Captain's Club. Would any of you care for a complimentary beverage?
SPACE TREE: Complimentary? Hey, those are coming out of your paycheck, Clerman.
MEE: Clerman? Hey, yeah! Aren't you one of the Clerman Clones?
CLERMAN: No, I'm- I'm Allon. The green kid. Look at the freaking hat. (he angrily tosses away his tray of drinks)
MEE: Seriously? You're supposed to be him? Come on, only a complete and total idiot would believe that.
(enter Commander)
COMMANDER: Hey, there, Allon! What's goin' on, pal?
(he punches Clerman off the screen)
(rimshot)
COMMANDER: Pinkfrosting88? Mee? What are you two doing here? Is this an intervention?
Pinkfrosting88: Yes, you have a problem, Commander. You're a total moron.
SPACE TREE: No, I think that they're here to rob the place or something.
MEE: Oh, come on, Space Tree. Would I really steal from my oldest and closest friend?
SPACE TREE: Only, like, once a month.
COMMANDER: Wait a minute, you two were robbing this place together?
MEE: Oh, you didn't hear? Well, Pinkfrosting and I got married about a month ago.
Pinkfrosting88: No, we didn't! Stop telling people that!
MEE: OK, fine. We got "engaged".
Pinkfrosting88: No, we didn't.
MEE: She doesn't know what she's saying. (whispering to Commander) She's having her period. (Commander nods knowingly)
Pinkfrosting88: Oh my God, just shut up!
SPACE TREE: How bout everyone shuts up?! (throughout his speech, Commander does the "hand-mock" thing) I was in the middle of eating a delicious cardboard sandwich when you two broke in here! Now, I've lost a lot of money this past week, and I'm not letting you steal any more of it, so why don't you both make like a tree and leave!?
COMMANDER: Now hold a second, Space Tree. Who knows what they've already stolen? I say we search them both. (to PF88) I better strip-search this one. (mouth-clicks several times) Wink.
SPACE TREE: No, it's all right. They've just been out here the whole time. They couldnt've stolen anything.
Pinkfrosting88: He's right, you know. We couldn't have stolen anything.
MEE: That is correct, isn't it? We certainly couldn't have.
(dramatic music plays in the background as both Mee and PF88 whip out walkie-talkies and yell into them)
MEE: Come in, Palindromio, this is the Marone Mongoose! Do you copy?!
Pinkfrosting88: Breaker breaker, this is PF88, report to Sector A at once and bring the "prize"-over!
(the music ends, walkie-talkies are gone)
SPACE TREE: What the hell was that?
MEE: Oh, we were just calling our legally adopted henchman. We use him to obtain objects from tight spaces that fat people like Pinkfrosting88 can't get into. (she glares)
(enter Allon, with a package)
ALLON: Here you go! I managed to get the thing without even losing a limb, too!
MEE: Thanks a bunch, my green hermano!
SPACE TREE: Hey, I don't know what that box is, but you can't have it!
MEE: Wait, aren't you gonna say something like, "Oh my God, it's the green kid!", or something?
SPACE TREE: No, I don't care about him. (Allon frowns)
COMMANDER: Wait a minute, if he's Allon (points to real Allon), and he's Allon (points to unconscious Clerman), have I crossed over into some kind of crazy, parallel, double-Allon universe?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! (he leaps through the window of the club into Space)
MEE: Yeah, that's more like it.
SPACE TREE: So, anyway, like I was saying, you cannot leave with that box!
(some droid rolls up; Space Tree pushes a button on it, closing the door to The Only Exit)
MEE: Oh my God, he locked the doors on us!
Pinkfrosting88: Oh my God, no, what're we gonna do now?!
MEE: I don't know! We're done for!
Pinkfrosting88: Jesus, we're gonna ****in' die here! Oh my God!
MEE: Quick, Allon, did you bring the emergency suicide pills?!
ALLON: (nervous) ... What the hell are you two talking about?
MEE: All right, he ruined it. Let's go. (Mee creates a portal, he and PF88 leave)
ALLON: ... Oh, yeah! Now I get it! (leaves too)
MEE: (to ST, leaning back through the portal) And if anyone axes who robbed you, just say it was the greatest crime trio in all of the land! ... We don't have a name yet, but we'll think of one soon and get back to you. (the portal closes)
(the Commander walks back in with cuts on his face)
COMMANDER: Well, Space Tree, it just goes to show ya! Jumping through glass windows really, really hurts!
SPACE TREE: Then why do you do it every day?
COMMANDER: Because I needed the eggs!
(roll cheap laugh track; freeze-frame)
(roll fast end credits with dramatic music)
==References ==
*The Commander's "intervention" line is a reference to the Bonus Stage episode "Fibbing", which Space Tree and the Commander guest-starred in.
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