Woj's Races (Summerlands)

This article is about the races held at Castle Wojcik during the Fourth Era. You may be looking for Woj's Races (Pandora), races held at Wojchester Racecourse in the Fifth Era.
	"I am looking to see how many of you would be interested in horse racing this Friday or next Friday at a new raceway in the west that I have built."	”
	—Wojcik 	—Wojcik
Woj's Races were a series of casual races held by Wojcik at Castle Wojcik's racetrack in the Summerlands during the Fourth Era. 
They were notable for the fact that no actual formal races were ever held on event day. A book called When Pigs Fly was circulated to advertise Woj's Races. 
=First Race=
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	Jinx: i wanna go into the racetrack<BR>Jinx: and win<BR>Retro: you gotta believe<BR>Tox: the power of positive thinking<BR>Jinx: i do believe! i do, i do! i do believe in<BR>Jinx: ripping retros lungs out through his throat<BR>Retro: D:<BR>Tox: his mother gave those to him :(<BR>Jinx: ahahahaha	
	—Jinx brings her competitive spirit 	—Jinx brings her competitive spirit
The inaugural event was held on 4E:396. Turnout to the first races was lower than expected. Woj believed that was because announcements were posted by he and Tox only a few days before the event.
Instead of racing, some in attendance helped Woj make improvements to the track. Retro built a vending machine that dispensed carrots-on-a-stick and saddles. HyperSilence, the Archpriest of Eris, installed a color-changer to the castle's beacon. Tox redesigned the finish line and devised a lighting solution to prevent hostiles from spawning on the track itself.
Thanks to the humorous sorcery of HyperSilence, a creeper participated in the races by riding a horse, though he looked as worried as the rest of those in attendance. He eventually detonated, killing his own horse and injuring Wojcik and Tox. A pigman also rode in the pig race.
During the races, Retro became the first mortal in history to achieve flight when he saddled the Batpig and rode it over the castle.
===Jinx and Sloth===
	"Moxicology. You just made yourself an enemy."	
	—Jinx vows revenge 	—Jinx vows revenge
left|thumb|330x330px|A practical joke is played on Jinx
Hyper used his nearly limitless power to give life to Sloth, a horse so slow it was incapable of movement beyond rearing up and inching forward. When Jinx arrived at the castle to take part in the races, he convinced the others to take part in a practical joke at her expense. Tox offered to sell her Sloth, a horse the other three men all claimed was extremely fast. However, Jinx demanded a test ride before making the purchase. Because she was a known thief, Tox persuaded her to trade her best bow and five diamonds as collateral for a ride.
She mounted the horse but could not coax it forward. The other three men played along, asking why she wasn't moving. Discovering she'd been duped, Jinx demanded her items to be returned to her. The others had a good hearty laugh as Tox returned the gear.
But Jinx was not amused. Though inexplicably letting Hyper and Retro off the hook, she held Tox and Woj personally responsible and solemnly promised that they would pay for fooling her.
She proved to be a woman of her word by making good on the promise by the end of the Fourth Era when she killed Tox (though died herself in the process) and looted and burned down Wojcik Castle during the Fall of Summer.
===Participants===
Place	Face	Name 	Horse
- 	 	Wojcik 	
- 	 	HyperSilence	Hyperion
- 	 	Retro 	The Russian Steed
- 	 	Tox 	Sven
- 	 	Jinx 	Trivium, Sloth
- 	 	RUUUNNNN 	
- 	 	Pigman 	
<BR>
=Second Race=
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The second day of races was held on 4E:405. Woj expected much better turnout because there had been more time to advertise and organize, but turnout was even lower than the first event.
Once again, no races were actually carried out, though much fun was had.
Gabault provided entertainment for those who attended, putting on an amusing clown show as a jester. He juggled, set himself on fire, and for his final familiy-friendly act he committed suicide by catching an arrow with his face. He later had a blood-free ranged bow battle with Wojcik and Tox beneath the lake, leading to many broken pieces of armor.
===Participants===
Place	Face	Name 	Horse
- 	 	Wojcik 	
- 	 	Tox 	Sandinista
- 	 	Gabault	
- 	 	Retro 	The Russian Steed
<BR>
=Third Race=
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A third race was planned for 4E:420 but was cancelled due to the Fall of Summer on 4E:412, during which Castle Wojcik was sacked and burned to the ground by Jinx and other bandit raiders.
Tox had planned to debut Croatoan, his newest horse with elite speed.
=Gallery=
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File:2016-03-02_22.17.14.png|Woj and Tox watch a creeper on horseback
File:2016-03-02_22.17.52.png|Creeper about to explode
File:2016-03-02_22.24.37.png|Woj watches Retro ride the Batpig
File:2016-03-02_23.13.50.png|HyperSilence and Tox get ready to race
File:2016-03-02_23.14.21.png|HyperSilence soars above Castle Wojcik upon Hyperion
File:2016-03-03_00.53.53.png|Wojcik rides
File:2016-03-03_00.56.47.png|Woj, Jinx, Retro, and Tox getting friendly
File:2016-03-03_01.01.53.png|Jinx's cakehole
File:2016-03-03_01.11.25.png|Wojcik on horseback
File:2016-03-03_01.47.32.png|Woj doing unspeakable things to his horse
File:2016-03-03_02.00.35.png|Woj and Hyper watch Jinx on Sloth
File:2016-03-03_02.01.21.png|Wojcik tries to move Sloth
File:2016-03-03_02.05.26.png|Wojcik and Jinx
File:2016-03-03_02.11.17.png|Retro watches a pigman ride in the pig race
File:2016-03-03_02.16.12.png|Woj sees a Batcreeper
File:2016-03-11_23.11.24.png|Fireworks
File:2016-03-11_23.14.26.png|Gabault the human pincushion
File:2016-03-11_23.42.19.png|Tox, Gabault, and Wojcik get a group photo
File:2016-03-11_23.48.08.png|Gabault takes aim at Sven
File:2016-03-12_01.07.30.png|Wojcik overlooks the track
File:2016-03-12_01.08.58.png|Wojcik and Tox on horseback
File:2016-03-12_01.30.26.png|Wojcik leads cavalry charge against a zombie
Category:Events
Category:Horse Races
Category:Games