High School Horrors

High School Horrors is the thirty-fifth episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the fifteenth episode of season two. In this episode, SpongeBob receives a letter stating that his SPA (Sponge Point Average) in high school was too low and that he must repeat high school for one week at Deep Blue High. Finding his old high school as not changed much, he thinks that the one week will be a breeze. However, he will find bullies, peer pressure, and multiple pranks to deter his thoughts. Will he conquer the entirety of the week? This episode is paired with The Patriotic Heist.
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==Characters==
*SpongeBob SquarePants
*Gary the Snail
*Narrator/Rennaisance Voice
*Miscellaneous teenage fish
**Teenage Fish 1
**Teenage Fish 2
**Teenage Fish 3
**Teenage Fish 4
**Teenage Fish 5
**Teenage Fish 6
**Teenage Fish 7
**Teenage Fish 8
**Teenage Fish 9
**Teenage Fish 10
*Teacher 1 (cameo)
*Members of "The Holders"
**Rick/Giant Fish 1
**Stu/Giant Fish 2
**Pid/Giant Fish 3
*Lunch Lady (cameo)
*Janitor (cameo)
*Angela/Female Sponge
*Frederich
*Female Teacher
*Mr. Fin/Male Teacher
*Announcer
*Patrick Star (cameo at end of episode)
*Mr. Krabs (cameo at end of episode)
*Sandy Cheeks (cameo at end of episode)
==Transcript==
*[episode begins with Gary, carrying SpongeBob throughout his driveway toward the mailbox]
*SpongeBob: To the mailbox, Gary!
*Gary: Meow meow.
*SpongeBob: Oh, I almost forgot. Snake mode engaged! [hops off Gary and begins slithering toward the mailbox; he slithers up the mailbox post and slithers into the mailbox] Mail retrieved! [slithers out of mailbox with an envelope]
*[SpongeBob slithers back to Gary and hops back onto his shell; Gary slugs back into the house; camera cuts to SpongeBob's living room]
*SpongeBob: [springboards off of Gary onto sofa] Let us see what this envelope encases. "From: Deep Blue High School"? That was the high school I attended, Gary.
*Gary: [offscreen] Meow.
*SpongeBob: [opens letter; reads] Dear Mr. SquarePants...
*Narrator: [takes over reading; speaks in a Rennaisaince-like voice] "It appears as though many years ago, our high school has made an error with your grading. Your SPA, or Sponge Point Average, was too low for you to pass on from our school. In order to fix this, you must re-attend our school for one week in order to fix your SPA."
*SpongeBob: [finishes] Warm regards, DB High. High school? For a whole week?! It'll be fierce. I may not make it out alive, but I must take the risk. I must go through the unforbidden land of...[whispering] high school.
*Gary: [slugs into scene] Meow. [slugs out of scene]
*SpongeBob: What do you mean it's not that bad? What do you know? You're a snail.
*[scene cuts to Deep Blue High School; a flourish of teenage fish are swarming the campus; the camera cuts to SpongeBob, trekking through the hallways with a backpack]
*SpongeBob: Well, not much has changed since I've been here. Except for the students, of course. I wonder if anyone recognizes me.
*Teacher 1: [offscreen] Hey, you!
*SpongeBob: [approaches teacher] Me?
*Teacher 1: Yeah, you. I remember you.
*SpongeBob: You do?
*Teacher 1: Yeah, from yesterday, when I saw your picture on the computer. You're the one who was too dumb to pass, right?
*SpongeBob: Well, I wouldn't say...
*Teacher 1: I would. Take this. [hands SpongeBob a hall pass] You'll need it. I just made you three minutes late to class. Now get there before I report you.
*[SpongeBob darts down the hallway; while he passes, frightful music plays as multiple teenage fish stare down SpongeBob with unforgiving eyes]
*SpongeBob: Must get away! Ahhh! [runs right into three giant fish]
*Giant Fish 1: Hey, sponge, what's the big idea? [picks up SpongeBob to his feet]
*SpongeBob: Why, thank you...
*Giant Fish 1: Thank you, nothin'. You should be begging for forgiveness the way you ran into me and my friends here.
*Giant Fish 2: Actually, he just ran into you.
*Giant Fish 3: Yeah, just you, Rick.
*Rick: Yeah, you just ran into me, which means you've got a problem with me.
*SpongeBob: [shrugs] Please don't tear me into a thousand chewy pieces.
*[the three giant fish all laugh hysterically]
*SpongeBob: Was it something I said?
*Rick: You're funny, sponge. We like funny. Welcome to the team, the "Holders" team! My name is Rick. [slams open hand into chest of Giant Fish 2] This is Stu.
*Stu: I'm Stu.
*Rick: [slams open hand into chest of Giant Fish 3] This is Pid.
*Pid: My name is...uh...Pid.
*SpongeBob: My name is...uh...Sponge...Bob?
*Rick: Well then, welcome to the team.
*SpongeBob: One question: why do you call yourselves "The Holders"?
*Rick: Because no matter what grade we're in, we always get...
*Rick, Stu, and Pid: [in unison] Held back!
*Stu: Should we show him the chart?
*Pid: Show him the chart, Rick.
*Rick: [holds up chart] Here's the chart. There's a social chart in this school, and I'm the only one that has it. Right now, you're at the bottom. [points to the bottom] You need to get up here [points to top] if you want to stay in our group. Here, take this. [hands SpongeBob a mini-chart] Here's a pocket-sized version.
*Stu: Of the same chart.
*Pid: Exact replica, sponge.
*Rick: Guard it with your life, and meet us here tomorrow. We have a pleasant surprise for you. Now get to class!
*[SpongeBob dashes out of the scene]
*[scene cuts to the next day at Deep Blue High; the release bell rings and SpongeBob returns to the hallway]
*SpongeBob: Hello? "Holders"? This is where you said you would meet me tomorrow. Which is now today.
*Rick: [offscreen] Hey, it's the sponge kid. Over here, kid. [camera cuts to Rick, Stu, and Pid, standing at the carpool lot]
*SpongeBob: [walks toward group] Oh, there you chums are. Well, what's the sur... [trips on a rope] Whoa!
*[camera cuts to a bucket of paint, which spills onto SpongeBob, painting him blue; all of the fish in the lot laugh greatly at SpongeBob, along with "The Holders"]
*[SpongeBob runs into the building and into the janitor's closet; he takes out his portable social chart]
*SpongeBob: Change from "newbie"...[slides slider to "negative] to "negative".
*[scene cuts to SpongeBob's bedroom at night; Gary is sleeping while SpongeBob is awake]
*SpongeBob: Oh, high school is harder than I remember. What to do? What to do to raise my status? [a flyer falls onto SpongeBob's face] Ugh. [looks at flyer, which has a picture of a Krabby Patty on it with the caption "KRUSTY KRAB: HOME OF THE KRABBY PATTY] That's it! I know just what to do!
*[scene cuts to Deep Blue High the next day; the camera has a caption reading "Wednesday"; the camera cuts to the lunch room, packed with teenage fish; SpongeBob is walking through with a bag]
*Lunch Lady: Hey, SpongeBob! Ready for another day of potpurri?
*SpongeBob: Not today, lunch lady. I packed a gourmet lunch. [walks to table; opens up bag] Now, to do the trick. [takes out a Krabby Patty, making all of the fish turn to look at it; a group of fish crowd around SpongeBob]
*Teenage Fish 1: What is that?
*Teenage Fish 2: That doesn't look like any of the grub they serve here.
*SpongeBob: It's a hardy Krabby Patty.
*Teenage Fish 3: Let's all watch him eat!
*[SpongeBob takes one bite and chews, causing many "Oooos" and "Aaaahs" from the crowd]
*SpongeBob: Krabby Patties for everyone! [a volcano-like blast of Krabby Patties burst from the bag]
*[a picture of the social chart appears in the upper right of the screen; the slider changes from "NEGATIVE" to "WELL-KNOWN"]
*[the scene cuts to Deep Blue High the next day; in the caption, the day reads "Thursday; SpongeBob is walking down the hallway]
*Teenage Fish 4: If it isn't SpongeBob!
*SpongeBob: Lenny, keep it cool!
*Teenage Fish 5: The sponge guy!
*SpongeBob: The sponge man to you, Kyle!
*Rick: Uh...sponge.
*SpongeBob: [plainly] Afternoon, Rick. [passes]
*Female Sponge: [bumps into SpongeBob] Oh. Sorry, SpongeBob.
*SpongeBob: How do you know my name, Angela?
*Angela: How do you know my name?
*SpongeBob: So, here we are. Two sponges. In high school.
*Angela: Speaking of that, would you want to...I don't know.
*SpongeBob: Engage in a relationship?
*Angela: Sure.
*[scene cuts to the lunch room; SpongeBob and Angela are sitting together]
*Angela: So, what did you pack for lunch?
*SpongeBob: A Krabby Patty. [holds up Krabby Patty]
*Angela: Ew. I hate greasy foods.
*SpongeBob: About that...I think we should see other sponges.
*Angela: Okay. [turns to the left] So, to the park, Frederich?
*Frederich: [camera reveals a handsome sponge next to Angela] We shall. [Angela and Frederich depart]
*SpongeBob: Well, that was heart-wrenching. [bites into Krabby Patty]
*[scene cuts to Deep Blue High the next day; the caption reads "Friday"; the camera cuts to SpongeBob, sitting at a desk in class]
*Female Teacher: Class, it appears due to the weather, we will be having a make-up day tomorrow.
*Teenage Fish 6: School on a Saturday?!
*Female Teacher: Yes, school on a Saturday! Now, moving on, we will be taking a field trip...to the hallways.
*[scene cuts to SpongeBob and the rest of his classmates, roaming the halls]
*SpongeBob: Wow! I had no idea that we had so many pictures on the hallway outside of our room.
*Teenage Fish 7: [whispers to teenage fish next to him] What a sponge.
*Teenage Fish 8: Should we give him the "Hydro Treatment"?
*Teenage Fish 7: I don't see why not. [throws cup at him]
*SpongeBob: [the cup travels through SpongeBob's holes and lands on the ground] Why, what is this? This is litter. Yuck. [grabs cup and places him in the recycling bin]
*Janitor: [runs into scene, holding a uniform] Hey, sponge. Take this! [runs away]
*SpongeBob: [puts on janitor uniform] Oh, it's a janitor's uniform. Well, I cleaned up the cup. I might as well clean up the high school.
*[scene cuts to a montage of SpongeBob, cleaning up the high school; once he is done, he stands in front of a crowd, cheering "SpongeBob"]
*Teenage Fish 9: Finally, restrooms that don't repel even the janitors.
*'Teenage Fish 10: Floors that don't take your shoes because of the gunk.
*[the "SpongeBob" chant returns; the portable social chart re-appears in the top right; the slider moves from "WELL-KNOWN" to "POPULAR"]
*[the scene cuts to the next day at Deep Blue High, where the caption reads "Saturday: Make-up and Last Day; the camera cuts to SpongeBob, looking out of the window of an empty classroom]
*SpongeBob: '[sighs] What do I write? What do I say? It's the last day of high school, and I haven't written my graduation speech yet. [stands up and flops onto back] Maybe I should just go another week of high school. It's actually not that bad.
*Male Teacher: [stands over SpongeBob] What are you doing in my classroom?
*SpongeBob: Oh, sorry Mr. Fin. I'm just trying to write my graduation speech, and I've got nothing.
*Mr. Fin: It's okay, SpongeBob. When I was in high school, I had trouble writing my speech, too. Actually, I had no trouble.
*SpongeBob: How does that help me?
*Mr. Fin: It doesn't, but get out! [throws SpongeBob through the roof]
*[SpongeBob lands on the stage in the auditorium]
*Announcer: And here, we have our next graduate, meeting his Sponge Point Average, SpongeBob SquarePants!
*SpongeBob: [in thought] What to do. What to say. Come on, SquarePants, just think of something. What's happened to you in the past week? [clears throat; sighs] My fellow high-schoolers, let me just say that it has been an honor to attend class with you. In the past week of school, I have learned the do's and the do-not's of school life. [to self] So far, so good.
*[camera cuts to scenes from throughout the episode while SpongeBob speaks]
*SpongeBob: I have seen those who have taught me the ways of truth, and those who have shown me dishonest means. But through it all, it has been a very rough journey.
*[the rest of the speech is split into many different parts]
*SpongeBob: And that's when I learned to re-screw the...the double axis turned out to be a toilet...the sandwich I ate that day was purely...and the sack turned out to be the lunch food...and with that, I end my speech and gladly accept my valet hat and gown, knowing the road that I traveled.
*[the crowd erupts with cheers and "SpongeBob" chants; SpongeBob steps down and puts on his gown and hat]
*Announcer: You will all be officially graduated in 3...2...1...Now!
*[SpongeBob blasts his hat into the air through a hole; the rest throw their hats into the air; the hats simultaneously explode]
*Rick: Yes! It worked! The hats all exploded! You've all been pranked!
*Stu: Yeah! Pranked!
*Pid: With a capital "P"! Like me, 'cause my name's Pid!
*[scene cuts to SpongeBob, walking through his pineapple door with his hat and gown on]
*SpongeBob: Finally, back home. [turns on light]
*[the living room is revealed to be a party full with members of the cast, many of SpongeBob's high school friends, and cakes and other festive foods]
*SpongeBob: What's all this?
*Patrick: It's a party for you graduating your...uh...[holds up card] high school.
*Mr. Krabs: And to celebrate, I decided to give you this. [hands SpongeBob bill] It's the bill for Squidward, covering for you at the restaurant.
*SpongeBob: [hugs Mr. Krabs] Thank you, Mr. Krabs.
*Gary: Meow. [slugs onto SpongeBob and begins licking his face]
*SpongeBob: Ah, Gary. Gosh, all this. I can't thank you guys enough.
*Sandy: We even brought you your mail for you. [hands SpongeBob letter]
*SpongeBob: What's this? [reads letter] "Dear SpongeBob"...
*Rennaisance Voice: [narrates] "It appears the letter we sent you was not intended for you, but for a Mr. SpongeBob RectanglePants. Sorry for the confusion."
*SpongeBob: You mean that I didn't have to go through all the aching pains and troubles of a modern high school life?! You mean all of the teachers, bullies, pranks, and mischief? The relationships and break-ups? All of it was just a waste?!
*All: Uh...
*SpongeBob: Oh, well. I still had a great time. Party time!
*[the episode ends with SpongeBob and the gang, partying; the scene gradually fades to black, ending the episode]
==Trivia==
*This episode has the longest list of characters in one single episode of Absorbent Days to date.
*This is the first Absorbent Days episode since the "Spongiest of them All" Marathon to receive a promo before its release.
*This is the first episode where a character, in this case SpongeBob, engages in a relationship, albeit short-lived.
===Character Revelations===
*SpongeBob's secondary alma mater (or high school where which he graduated) is revealed: Deep Blue High School.
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Category:Episode Transcripts