Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly - Cruise/Transcript

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The following is a transcript of "Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly - Cruise", the fifteenth episode of the A Dose of Buckley feature Musical Autopsy.
==Transcript==
===Introduction===
This...is Musical Autopsy. It's the feature at A Dose of Buckley where I make my way to the musical morgue to chop up a song or artist.
Sound of chainsaw plays.
Sometimes, it gets a little messy.
This time, we reach into those refrigerated drawers and pull out...Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly - Cruise.
Song plays; lyrics appear.
"Baby you a song
You make me wanna roll my windows down
and cruise
I got my windows down
and the radio up,
get your radio up
(what up Nelly!?)"
===The Autopsy===
Okay, at first, I didn't get this: Florida Georgia Line featuring Nelly. I don't know if anyone told record execs, but country fans and hip-hop fans are very often not one in the same. This isn't always true, but stereotypes exist for a reason. And usually, they're polar opposites. I've heard hip-hop fans refer to Mumford & Sons as country, and I've heard country fans call Akon rap. These aren't people who know or want to know about the other genre; they'd just prefer to ignorantly hate them, instead of intellgently hate them like I do. Your average country music fan is likely not a fan of this:
Nelly - Grillz plays.
"I'm changing grillz everyday like Jay change clothes
I might be grilled out nicely (oh!) in my white tee (oh!)
On South Beach (oh!) in my wife beat"
And your average hip-hop fan generally doesn't want to hear this:
Florida Georgia Line - Get Your Shine On plays.
"You know I love it when you
get your shine on
'Cause you and me
be rockin' all night long"
But combine these two artist, and Top 40 stations are more than happy to resurrect this country hit from last year. Why? Well, because pop fans'll just listen to whatever you tell them to listen to, that's why. So, take this country hit...
Florida Georgia Line - Cruise (2012) plays.
"She was sippin' on Southern and singin' Marshall Tucker
We were falling in love in the sweet heart of summer
She hopped right into the cab of my truck
And said, "Fire it up! Let's go get this thing stuck!"
...Change up the music so it sounds a little poppier, less twangy; add some bass...
Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly - Cruise (2013) plays to contrast with original.
"She was sippin' on Southern and singin' Marshall Tucker
We were falling in love in the sweet heart of summer
She hopped right into the cab of my truck
And said, "Fire it up! Let's go get this thing stuck!"
...And slap a verse from Nelly on it...
Nelly's rap in "Cruise" plays.
"My windows down, my seats back
My music up and we ride
Her legs up on my dashboard
And it's just the way I like
Hey country girl, this country boy
Like er'thing about" (you)
"Don't change a thing, no way
You stay the same and I got" (you)
...And bam, you got yourself a song that's been off the charts for some time suddenly back in the Top 10. This is a pretty rare thing though. We always see rap artists working with pop artists; once in a while you'll see pop and rock artists together; rock and rap have gone together since Bodycount and Rage Against the Machine made it cool, and then Limp Bizkit made it uncool; country and rock have gone together quite often, and even country and metal has happened a couple of times with Hank Williams III playing bass for Superjoint Ritual, and David Allen Coe working with the late Dimebag Darrell and other members of Pantera on the Rebel Meets Rebel project. And sometimes rock artists work together, but they always pretentiously call it a "superrgroup" - sorry, kids, but no one gives a fuck if you get the bassist from whatever band. Unless it's Sting, Lemmy, or Les Claypool, there's nothing super about your group that has two somebodies and a couple nobodies on rhythm.
But country and rap are pretty rare, in fact so rare that the only other time I can think of where this happened that's even worth mentioning was Nelly again with Tim McGraw! You're probably not gonna see Luke Bryan and Drake collaborating anytime soon. So, why is Nelly teaming up with Florida Georgia Line for this particular song? Because this isn't a country song; this is a hip-hop song! It's just disguised as a country song! "Uh...Buckley, have you been huffing the embalming fluid?" No. Check it out. Shitty, nonsensical grammar?
Song continues from beginning; lyrics appear with grammatical errors/corrections and an "F-" grade.
"Baby you a song
You make me wanna roll my windows down
and cruise"
Check.
Useless repetitive bullshit lyrics?
"I got my windows down, and the radio up,
get your radio up
I got my windows down, and the radio up,
get your radio up"
Check.
Piss-poor rhymes and talking about a girl he wants to fuck?
"Yea when I first saw
that bikini top on her
She's poppin' right out of the
South Georgia water
Thought ol' good Lord,
she had them long tanned legs
Couldn't help myself
so I walked up and said"
Check.
Bragging about committing crimes?
"...and cruise
Down a back road
blowin' stop signs through the middle
every little farm town with you"
Disobeying traffic signs is a pretty un-gangsta crime, but...check!
And finally, talking about a car with really stupid modifications?
"And this brand new Chevy with a lift kit
Would look a hell lot better with you up in it"
Double check! Lift kits are stupid. Your fucking Silverado isn't goddamn Grave Digger; it's a pickup truck! And lifting your truck is just as stupid as putting hydraulics in it. Why don't you get Xzibit to slap a PS2 in there while he's at it, would ya?! This song has all the characteristics of shitty, mainstream hip-hop, but instead, Florida Georgia Line - which by the way has to be on a list of the stupidest band names ever; I don't give a shit if it's geographically accurate - they threw some twangy guitars and talked about shit country fans would like. Change "Chevy" to "Bugatti" and "lift kit" to "push button start", and change "blowin' stop signs" to "blowin' blunts"; get Lil Wayne to drop the N-bomb ten times on it and this is a hip-hop song! You're not fooling anyone, Florida Georgia Line, certainly not me!
This is Musical Autopsy; bag it and tag it.
Sound of zipper plays; video ends.
Category:Transcripts