The Dark Sorcerer/Transcript

This is the transcript of "The Dark Sorcerer," a collectible in Beyond: Two Souls.
==Transcript==
(Scenes of the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum are shown with the opening credits throughout the Dark Sorcerer's narration.)
Dark Sorcerer: So long have I waited, shrouded by darkness... I have suppressed my hatred while I waited for the stars to align... After a thousand years spent wandering the darkest bowels of the earth, the time to emerge from the shadows has finally arrived.
(The Dark Sorcerer pulls back his hood. The camera zooms in on his face as he speaks.)
At long last, the vengeance of Zatam the Dark will be unleashed.
(The camera zooms out to show the altar in front of the Dark Sorcerer.)
My wrath will reduce the Empire of Arazir to ashes. Now, will I bring them chaos and destruction. (The braziers to the right and left of the Dark Sorcerer flare up as he gestures to each of them.) Now, there will be suffering and desolation! (The goblin approaches the Dark Sorcerer and gives him his staff.) I will make them regret the day they dared to defy the greatest Dark Sorcerer ever to walk the earth. (The goblin applauds eagerly.)
(The Dark Sorcerer concentrates. Lightning dances around the tip of his staff, miniature fireballs fly around the room, and a whirlwind forms above him as a flaming pentagram appears on the floor in front of the altar.)
By the Seven Seals of Tahor and the Talismans of Rastadan, I invoke you, Astaroth, Dark Lord of the Last Circle. By the sacred power of the ancient Gods, by all the spirit servants of Hasmodan, by all the sacred parchments of Fahjta... Fahjtamo... Fahjta... Oh shit!
(The scene changes to the studio, where David Gant is in costume and standing next to the goblin. The special effects stop.)
David Gant: I can never get that last one right.
(A camera in the foreground moves out of the way.)
Director: Fahjtamalavi.
Gant: It's on the tip of my tongue. I knew it! DAMN! I'm so sorry!
Director: No problem, we'll just take it again.
Goblin: Wow, dude, totally freaked me out. You scared the crap out of me, man...
(Gant hands the goblin his staff and walks toward the camera.)
Gant: Oh, excuse me... if I may, I just have a quick word about the script.
Director: About the script?
Gant: Yes. As my character is rather complex, I want to make sure I'm conveying all the facets of his psychology. So, I ask myself whether this hatred that is consuming him isn't emanating from...
Director: You know what? Don't change a thing. You were great. Okay, everybody, let's take it again from where we left off, if you're all ready.
(Gant walks back behind the altar, taking his staff from the goblin.)
Goblin: Hey, hey, my name's Maurice, how you doing?
Gant: David. David Gant.
Goblin: Alright. First time in a video game?
Gant: Yes.
Goblin: Yeah. Welcome to hell, he he he.
Director: OK, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
Gant: Oh, by the way, can we please tone down the pyrotechnical effects? (He crouches and passes a hand over his head for emphasis.) They really came a bit close the last time. Let's not risk a pointless accident...
Director: Okay, I'll tell the guys. All right, SILENCE ON THE SET. AND WE ARE ROLLING!
(The camera descends and the scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum. Lightning dances around the tip of his staff, miniature fireballs fly around the room, and a whirlwind forms above him as a flaming pentagram appears on the floor in front of the altar.)
Dark Sorcerer: By the Seven Seals of Tahor and the Talismans of Rastadan, I invoke you, Astaroth, Dark Lord of the Last Circle. By the...
(The candles and spell book on the altar begin to rise into the air and float in different directions.)
Dark Sorcerer (in a high, squeaky voice): By the sacred power of the ancient Gods, by all the spirit servants of Hasmodan...
Director: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT!
Dark Sorcerer (in a high, squeaky voice): By all the aaaaaah... Oh!
(The scene changes to the studio. The candles and spell book are still floating around.)
Director: Sorry, there might have been a problem with the sound, there.
Gant (in a high, squeaky voice): I thought there was something a bit odd...
Director: Okay, we'll lose the sound effects for the moment, if that's alright.
Gant (in a high, squeaky voice): Yes, that's probably a good idea.
Director: There's something wrong with the props, too.
(The candles and spell book return to their original positions.)
Goblin: This reminds me of what happened to the two guys who played the role before you... (Gant looks at him.) Yeah. The Spell Book smacked the first one right in the face. BAM! Three fractured vertebrae. Yeah. The second one, yeah, he... (He whistles.) took the Sceptre right up his... ha ha... you know... (He clicks his tongue twice. Gant turns away from him.) They need to find the bug is what I'm saying.
(Gant turns back toward the goblin.)
Gant: It's getting hot in here... Aren't you uncomfortable under that mask?
Goblin: Mask? What mask?
Director: OK, let's go again. AND ACTION!
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum. Lightning dances around the tip of his staff, miniature fireballs fly around the room, and a whirlwind forms above him as a flaming pentagram appears on the floor in front of the altar.)
Dark Sorcerer: By the Seven Seals of Tahor and the Talismans of Rastadan, I invoke you, Asta...
(Another goblin walks in front of the altar. More goblins start appearing.)
Ahhhh! What's going on?
(The scene changes to the studio.)
Director: CUT!
Goblin (to another goblin): Hey, now!
Director: Emily, get me the programmers.
(Gant leans his staff against the altar and starts pacing back and forth in exasperation.)
Goblin: Oh, man! Hey, hey, hey, Dave, don't worry about it, it's just a bug they tried to fix last week... generates 2984 clones of who? Moi!
(The other goblins walk around, shadowbox, and do pushups in the background.)
Oh, man! Just ignore them, don't worry about it.
Director: Give me the phone. Hey, look, I don't care how you do it, just get those freaking Trolls off of my set! NOW!
Goblin: Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Goblins, okay? Not trolls... Goblins! Geez, this guy is ignorant. (He turns toward Gant.) Last time, one of them brought a few cases of beer, you know... (The other goblins start disappearing as he speaks.) It got a little messy... but what a party! You know what I'm saying, what a party!
Director: Alright, looks good. They're gone.
Goblin: Personally, I thought this was a chance to class up this production a little bit, but, you know, who am I? What are you gonna do? Some people have no artistic vision.
Gant (to the goblin): Could I borrow your telephone for a moment?
Goblin: Oh, yeah, sure. (He hands Gant a vintage mobile phone.) Dave, don't munch up all the minutes, man, okay?
(Gant gestures at the goblin's phone incredulously. The goblin shrugs.)
Gant: (He extends the phone's antenna and dials a number.) William? Yes. Yes, it's David... Yes, I'm on the set right now... Tell me, these video game people... Don't they seem... a bit bizarre? (The goblin starts making noises and playing with the staff.) Well, no, no... something funny is happening here - funny strange, not funny ha-ha... Well, it's rather difficult to explain... (The goblin fires a burst from the staff, causing one of the crew members to cry out.) Listen, I'm not entirely sure this was a good idea... (The goblin sets the staff on the altar.) Yes, I know I signed a contract, but maybe we could... (The goblin points at Gant.) No... No, of course not...
Goblin: Hey, Dave, Dave? Come on!
Gant: Yes, maybe I am over-reacting...
Goblin: No, Dave. (He claps softly.) C'mon on!
Gant: Yes... Fine... Okay, I'll call you later. (He lowers the phone's antenna and gives it back to the goblin.)
Goblin: Problems?
Gant: Yes... (He picks up the staff.) No! Everything's fine.
Director: Okay, we're ready. Let's go again from the same place, please. AND... ACTION!
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum. Lightning dances around the tip of his staff, miniature fireballs fly around the room, and a whirlwind forms above him as a flaming pentagram appears on the floor in front of the altar.)
Dark Sorcerer: Oh, great Astaroth, enter our dimension and deliver unto me my vengeance. Come, you most powerful of... (He looks down and notices a fireball has ignited his costume.) Aaahhhh!!! Ah! Ah! Ah! (He beats at the flames.)
Goblin: Wow! Wow! Oh! Oh! Oh!
(The scene changes to the studio. The goblin grabs a cup of water and throws it in Gant's face.)
Goblin: Oh, yea-aaaaah... That just happened. Yeah, I'm sorry. Er... Hey, hey, hey, the same thing happened to Michael Jackson, man. You know, on that soft drink ad - Congratulations. You just became a legend.
(Gant moves to stand beside the altar.)
Gant: I told you to be careful with your silly pyrotechnical activities! (The goblin pats him on the back and tries to blow out the embers.)
Director: I'm so sorry... This is the first time it's ever happened...
Gant: Right, so what do we do now?
Director: I would like to go back and try again from the same spot, if that's okay with you?
(Gant straightens and inhales deeply as the goblin pats his back. The goblin coughs as smoke from Gant's costume gets in his face. Gant moves back behind the altar and takes a deep breath.)
Gant: Let's do it.
Director: OK, SILENCE ON THE SET! WE ARE ROLLING!
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum. Lightning dances around the tip of his staff, miniature fireballs fly around the room, and a whirlwind forms above him as a flaming pentagram appears on the floor in front of the altar.)
Dark Sorcerer: Oh, great Astaroth, enter our dimension and deliver unto me my vengeance. (The goblin grins.) Master of all Hells, the Portal is open!
(Christian Erickson, in costume as the Demon, appears right next to the Dark Sorcerer in a puff of smoke, startling him.)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Christian Erickson: Tadaaaaa!
(The scene changes to the studio.)
Gant: Oh, Jesus!
Erickson: That was my entrance cue, wasn't it?
Gant: Bloody hell, I don't believe it...
Director: Demon, yeah, that was your cue but it would be better if you entered through the Portal of Hell for continuity.
Erickson: Ah! The Portal of Hell! Of course! I am such a ninny! (He slaps himself on the wrist as he walks behind Gant.) Bad, bad demon! Bad demon! I'll just take my... my entrance?
Director: Yeah... That would be good...
Erickson: (He turns toward Gant.) I'm so sorry, darling! Really. (He walks sideways between the altar and the goblin.) Excuse me, excuse me.
Director: Okay, we're going to start the whole incantation over, now that everybody is in place.
(Gant turns and gapes.)
Gant: The whole incantation? But I thought you had that covered?
Director: David, it's cool. Don't worry, things will be working perfectly now. (Gant and the goblin walk back and forth in exasperation.) Alright, this next take is the keeper, people. AND... ACTION!
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum. Lightning dances around the tip of his staff, miniature fireballs fly around the room, and a whirlwind forms above him as a flaming pentagram appears on the floor in front of the altar.)
Dark Sorcerer (speaking quickly): By the Seven Seals of Tahor and the Talismans of Rastadan, I invoke you, Astaroth, Dark Lord of the Last Circle. (The candles on the altar begin to rise into the air and float in different directions as he speaks. He ducks to avoid the fireballs that whiz by his head.)
Dark Sorcerer (speaking quickly in a voice that intermittently becomes high and squeaky): By the sacred power of the ancient Gods, by all the spirit servants of Hasmodan, by all the sacred parchments of Fahjtamalavi, appear oh Prince of Hades!
(A flaming portal rimmed with blue energy appears on the side of the pentagram opposite the altar.)
Dark Sorcerer: The Portal is open!
(The goblin applauds eagerly. The camera zooms in on the Dark Sorcerer's face and then an over-the-shoulder view of the Demon as he appears.)
Demon: You have summoned me, mortal! I am your slave...
(The spell book flies into the Dark Sorcerer's face. The special effects stop and he falls over. The scene changes to the studio. Erickson and the goblin run to Gant's sides.)
Erickson: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Goblin: Don't, don't go into the light, Dave! Don't go...
Erickson: Call a doctor! Quick!
(Erickson and the goblin each take one of Gant's hands and help him to his feet.)
Goblin: Back up, give him some room...
(Gant pulls away from them.)
Gant: Don't touch me! DON'T YOU TOUCH ME! (He backs away from Erickson and the goblin and gestures dramatically as he speaks.) Maniacs... You're all freaks and maniacs... I'm getting out of here... before you drive me as crazy as you are... (He raises his right index finger resolutely.) I'm leaving! Continue your insanity without me! (He starts walking off the set.)
Director: David, wait a sec! We're sorry, okay? Please don't go, how are we going to finish?
Gant: I don't give a shit what you do! I'm getting the hell out of here! (He storms off.)
(The camera pans over to Erickson and the goblin.)
Director: Bu...
Goblin: Wow... really...
Erickson: Get her...
Director: Great! I can't believe it... Well, guys, we've got to figure something out...
Goblin: What do you want us to do, huh? I mean, look, without the Sorcerer, this whole story doesn't make any sense, you know...
Erickson: It didn't make much sense WITH him, frankly... (He and the goblin laugh. He points at the goblin.)
Goblin: What?
Director: Huh... Hum... Yeah!
Erickson: Hum hum... Hum hum... (He nods thoughtfully.)
Goblin: No!
Director: Absolutely!
(Erickson and the goblin look at each other.)
Goblin: Oh! Oh! No! Oh no! Hu-hun! Hu-Hum!
Erickson: Oh, yeah!
Goblin: Oh! No! Hell no! (He and Erickson look at the camera.) Don't even think about it! Okay? Stop.
(The camera zooms in on the goblin.)
Director: He's perfect! Fred, call the costumer!
(The scene fades to black. A 2-second countdown timer appears, followed by the film's title.)
Dark Sorcerer: I invoke you, Astaroth, Dark Lord of the Last Circle.
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum.)
Dark Sorcerer (in a voice that intermittently becomes high and squeaky): Appear oh Prince of Hades!
(A flaming portal rimmed with blue energy appears on the side of the pentagram opposite the altar.)
Dark Sorcerer: The Portal is open!
(The goblin applauds eagerly. The camera zooms in on the Dark Sorcerer's face and then an over-the-shoulder view of the Demon as he appears.)
Demon: You have summoned me, mortal! I am your slave...
(The camera zooms in on the goblin.)
Goblin: Zatam!
(The scene changes to the studio with orange lighting.)
Gant: Yes.
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum.)
Goblin: You didn't think I was going to let you get away with this, now, did you?
(The scene changes to the studio with orange lighting.)
Gant: I thought there was something a bit odd...
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum.)
Goblin: You are nothing but a usurper, you Dark Sorcerer! And the time has come for me to send you back to the Shadows from whence you came! (He snort laughs.)
(The scene changes to the studio with orange lighting.)
Gant: Bloody hell, I don't believe it...
(The scene changes to the Dark Sorcerer's sanctum. The goblin hurls a ball of magical energy at the Dark Sorcerer, igniting his costume.)
Dark Sorcerer: Aaahhhh!!! Ah! Ah! Ah! (He beats at the flames.)
(The goblin spins around and cackles maniacally, then moves behind the altar.)
Goblin: Astaroth, from now on, you are MY slave! (He grabs the staff.) Let humanity fall to its knees! The hour of the Goblin of Darkness is finally at hand! NYAH HAHAHAHAHA!
(The goblin laughs, then coughs as the camera zooms out and the closing credits start rolling.)
Shit, I gotta quit smoking...
(The scene fades to black as the closing credits finish rolling.)
Dark Sorcerer, The