1dollar.wav

==Post 1==
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The following was a blog post by John Goodman, posted on the 17th of August 2011. Included with it was a download link to 1dollar.wav. The file in question has been converted to OGG format so that it may be uploaded to the Wiki. Goodman mentioned in the post that he would be doing extensive research on the mysteries surrounding this file. If he reports anything back, it will be posted here.
After my computer got burnt to a crisp in a lightning storm, I was left with only my old computer. Fortunately, I had everything from my destroyed computer already backed up onto USB drives and CD-ROMs. But my old computer was running Windows 98, and desperately needed an OS upgrade. It was time to search online for a new OS install disc that was at an affordable price. You might ask, "Why not just get a new computer?" I would have, but because of the crappy economy, I didn't have the money to do so. So my only other option was to upgrade my old one. 
Anyways, I searched around e-Bay to see if anybody was selling a copy of Windows XP at an affordable price. There was no way my computer would be able to handle Windows Vista or 7, so I would just have to go with XP. Lo and behold, somebody was selling a full Windows XP clean install disc for only $1.45. Nobody else was bidding on it, so I placed mine. Even after I had placed my bid, nobody else did. Needless to say, I won the disc, with nobody else to challenge me. 
A few days later, I received the disc in a white envelope. I opened the envelope and pulled it out. It seemed just like any other XP bootable disc. I turned on my old computer, popped it in, and installed Windows XP as one normally would. While I waited for it to install, I ate some popcorn, took a dump, and watched some television, occasionally checking on the progress of the installation and responding to dialog boxes, entering the registration code, etc. Finally, it finished installing, and I could use the computer.
The first thing I did was transfer everything I had backed up from my destroyed computer to the old computer. CD after CD, USB drive after USB drive. Eventually, I got everything onto my computer the way I wanted it. 
I decided to randomly browse around the computer a little before I turned it off and get ready to go to bed. This random browsing lead me to the "C:\WINDOWS\Media" folder. Then I noticed a file in there called "1dollar.wav". 
I didn't put this file on the computer, so I assumed it was installed along with all the other files in the folder. But I realized I didn't remember any such file ever being included with XP when I'd had it on my destroyed computer, before I upgraded it to Windows 7. Curious, I double-clicked the file to open it.
It was a very peculiar file. All I heard when I opened it was some weird static noise, almost as if it was an extremely distorted song. The file was just 4 solid minutes of this weird sound. It kind of creeped me out. I mean, it was night time, with my sleeping dog being my only company, and I'd found a file on my computer that I never put there and wasn't part of the original XP installation. And all it is 4 minutes of weird static noise. Furthermore, it's in a system folder. 
Thinking it might be a virus of some sort, I scanned the file. Behold, 1 trojan came up! I had no clue where I would have gotten it from. I'd barely been on the internet at all since Windows XP was fully installed. Suddenly, I realized I'd seen a file with this same name flash for a split second on the screen as the disc installed all of the system files. I could only come to one conclusion: the disc had been tampered with. 
I decided to delete the trojan, delete 1dollar.wav, and do a full system scan with both of my antivirus programs (MalwareBytes' Anti-Malware and Microsoft Security Essentials). It was going to take a crap load of time to finish scanning, so I decided to go to bed while I waited. I still felt a bit mad that I'd went through all that time to finally get my computer set up and upgraded the way I wanted it, only to find out the install disc had been tampered with.
I woke up the next morning, ate my breakfast, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and went into my computer room. I sat down at my computer and turned on the monitor (which I had turned off last night before I went to bed). I couldn't believe what I saw.
My desktop background had been changed to a picture of a dollar bill. There were two errors saying that my two Antiviruses had crashed, along with a bunch of other blank error dialogs that were all titled "1dollar.wav", with a single OK button. Every icon on my desktop had been replaced with a shortcut to 1dollar.wav, even the recycle bin. My "start" button now said "1dollar.wav", and the usual flag icon was replaced with a $ sign. When I clicked the Start button (or in this case the "1dollar.wav" button) to bring up the "1dollar.wav" menu, every icon there was also replaced with 1dollar.wav. The Administrator name was changed to "1dollar.wav" and the account picture was that of a dollar bill. 
I clicked "Don't Send Report" to both the errors saying MalwareBytes' and Microsoft Security Essentials had crashed. I then clicked the OK button on each "1dollar.wav" error box. Okay, the screen was cleared of all of those windows now. I tried to reopen my antivirus programs, but they both gave me a blank error titled "1dollar.wav". I clicked OK on those. I went to the "1dollar.wav" menu and clicked "Shut Down", but got the familiar "clunk" error sound. I tried the power button. Nothing happened. Finally, I just unplugged the computer and it finally shut off.
I plugged it back in. I booted in safe mode, and tried opening the antivirus programs there. But when I did, my computer made the weirdest noise ever and abruptly powered off. I tried pressing the power button, but nothing happened. It didn't even whir up. That freaking virus had completely destroyed my only remaining computer. And I hadn't even gotten it from a website or anything. It had come with my operating system. Well, that was that. I had to go get some things at the grocery store, so I left the house along with my dog.
I have yet to earn enough money to buy myself a new computer. I do everything computer related on a friend's laptop that he generously lets me borrow when I need to check my e-mail, do something on my bank account online, etc. I have used that same laptop to type up and publish this story to the internet, along with 1dollar.wav, which I have gone through and manually removed the malicious coding from. After a certain cryptic message I read talking about some "last evidence" that will have to be destroyed if I share it with anybody (which you will read about in just a moment), I have decided to research as thoroughly as I can about this mysterious file, until I have figured out the sinister mystery that surrounds it.
How did I get back 1dollar.wav after my computer was destroyed, you ask?
Well, when I got home, my dog's ears perked up, and she began growling menacingly. She followed a scent into the computer room. Everything seemed normal; however, when I looked where my (second) destroyed computer was, it wasn't there. Everything else was still there. But the computer was gone. I thought of a robbery, but who would want an old computer that doesn't even boot up anymore? 
I also noticed the tampered-with XP install disc I had gotten off e-Bay was missing as well. In its place was a different disc. It was a white CD-ROM, with something written on it in green sharpie. I picked up the disc and read: This is the last remaining evidence that I know of. Keep it secret, or I'll have to destroy it too. 
I glanced down at the table the disc had been sitting on. Where it had been was a single dollar bill. It wasn't crinkled or damaged in any way, unlike most dollar bills - it was in absolutely perfect condition, as if it had just been made. 
I took the disc and the dollar over to my friend's house, the one that has the laptop that I'm typing these words on. I explained how both my computers were destroyed, and he agreed to let me borrow it whenever I needed to. So I got on the laptop and put the CD in. On the CD was just one file: 1dollar.wav.
==Post 2==
On August 26th, 2011, John Goodman made another blog post regarding his continuing research of 1dollar.wav.
Hey everyone, it's me again. So you all remember that 1dollar.wav crap I posted about a week or so ago, right? Well, like I said I would, I did some research on it. Simply searching 1dollar.wav on Google yielded no results. I asked on a message board about the file, but nobody seemed to have even heard of it before. That is, until I got a reply from some guy saying he knew of the file, and had bad times with it. It went as follows:
:Oh don't even remind me. 1dollar.wav...it's amazing how much trouble a 4 minute sound clip of heavily distorted music can cause.
:It was years ago. Some person on Craigslist was selling a computer with Windows XP already installed on it. At the time, Vista was still in beta and 7 didn't even exist yet. I went to her house in Cleveland to pick up the computer. I brought it home and turned it on. I noticed a wave file in the C:\WINDOWS\Media folder, entitled "1dollar.wav". Curious, I opened it and listened to it. It was nothing special. Perhaps a little creepy, but it didn't interest me.
:I closed it and went to the bathroom. I came back to the computer and I could not believe what I saw. Everything was changed to dollars or some crap, and a bunch of error messages titled "1dollar.wav". I tried using my antivirus to fix what I instantly took as a virus, but it wouldn't open. I tried turning off the computer, but it wouldn't turn off, no matter what. The only thing that worked was unplugging it. I tried to boot in safe mode and use my antivirus there, but my computer made this bizarre noise and shut off, and refused to turn back on. I don't mean refused to boot into the OS. I mean literally just would NOT power on, as if it wasn't plugged in. The next day, my computer was gone, with just a single dollar bill in its place. I know it sounds insane, and you probably won't believe me unless you had a similar experience with the file yourself.
Cleveland! eBay had told me that the item location was Cleveland, Ohio! I now had a new mission: track down the person that sold me the install disc.
I replied to him saying that I had indeed had a very similar experience, and requested he give me the exact address of the woman that sold him the computer, as I wanted to have a little talk with her. I probably sounded like a stalker, but I didn't really give a crap. I needed to figure this out. Surprisingly, the user actually sent me the address of the woman to me in a private message. Living in Ohio myself, Cleveland was not too far away. So me and my dog got into the car and drove off.
We arrived at a small yellow house that could only be the home of the woman who sold me the install disc. We walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell.
A woman almost instantly answered the door. She seemed to be elderly, short and stout with white hair tied up in a bun. I looked into her eyes. Oh, those eyes! They seeped through me and into my soul, hungrily examining it, seeing if it was suitable to feast upon. I almost sprinted back to my car and drove off right then and there, but I couldn't. I had a mystery to solve.
"Why hello, John Goodman!" said the woman, in a menacing voice that sent shivers down my spine. My first thought: Oh dear, she knows my name! Oh God, please help me! My dog growled threateningly at the woman.
It took all of my courage to finally sputter out, "Look, I don't have time for fooling around! What is 'one dollar dot wave' and why did you put it in my Windows XP install disc?"
"Oh, I can't tell you that," cackled the woman, whom I was now certain was no good.
"Why not?" I countered angrily.
"Because," said the evil woman. "However, I can tell you this: be wary in the days that follow, for one dollar will haunt until all is hollow."
And before I could say another word, the woman shut the door on me, cackling wickedly. I had no other choice but to walk back to the car. Along the way, a man came by and asked me, "What were you doing over there?"
"I was talking to the woman that lives in that house over there," I replied.
The man's expression became concerned. "Nobody has lived in that house for over 10 years."
I looked to the house, but instead of the bright, yellow cheery house that I had seen when I arrived there, there was a crumbling, abandoned foundation with a wooden plank nailed to the front door saying "CONDEMNED" in green letters.
"But...but I was just talking to an elderly woman that lived there a minute ago," I argued.
All the color drained from the man's face. "...elderly woman?"
"Yes," I said. "You know, with her hair all tied up in a bun and what-not?"
"The last person who lived there...was an elderly woman...always having her hair tied up in a bun...but she's dead."
So, I didn't actually find out much of anything new about 1dollar.wav, but apparently, it was created by a ghost. Interesting...but it's no laughing matter. I realized that the moment I saw that dang woman out of the corner of my eye, giving me that freaking soul-devouring stare and smiling like a maniac. When I focused on her, she disappeared. I then proceeded to sprint out of the room and hide under a blanket for the rest of the night. When I dared go back into the living room, a dollar bill lay on the floor where she had been.
==Post 3==
On August 29th, Goodman updated the blog again with yet another report about his research on the ominous 1dollar.wav.
It's official: that old hag is stalking me. Since my last post, I've been catching glimpses of her out of the corner of my eye, always with the same soul-devouring stare and demented smile. She vanishes as soon as I focus on her. And it always has to be at night when it happens. Each time, I get the heck out of there and hide under a blanket for the rest of the night. When I dare enter the room again, there's a dollar bill where the woman was. I have actually collected all of the ones she's left for me, beginning with the first that came with the "last evidence" disc, into one wallet. I've gone 3 days straight without sleep because of this crap. 
In the most recent incident, she was even holding a bloody knife. That was enough encouragement for me: I packed up a few things, and me and my dog piled into the car and went to my friend's house. (Unrelated: I haven't told you my dog's name yet, have I? Her name is Coco. As in chocolate coco. Anyways, as I was saying...) I told him everything that had happened - I'd kept it secret because I figured if I told him, he'd think I was insane, but at this point, I really had no other option. 
When I spoke about 1dollar.wav, the old hag that seems to want to kill me for some reason, etc. I expected him to say I was crazy and call a mental institution, but miraculously, he actually believed me. I guess he knew I wouldn't make crap like this up. So I'm going to be staying at his place until this situation blows by.
==Post 4==
Posted August 30th, 2011
Tonight, my friend glanced out the window and all the color drained from his face, and Coco growled menacingly. I looked out the window and saw it: that blasted old hag. She stared into the room from outside with that soul-devouring stare and demented smile. Then she disappeared. We didn't need anymore encouragement: we pulled down those blinds and nailed boards to every window in the house, as well as the front and back doors. I don't think we'll be going outside for a while...
==Post 5==
Posted August 31st, 2011
I went on my friend's laptop and checked the forum thread I had posted asking about 1dollar.wav. Someone had replied there, under the username "1dollar", and guess what their profile picture was? That cursed old hag's face, with her trademark soul-eating stare and demented grin. Her reply said simply, "Oh, more evidence. Guess I'll have to destroy it," I clicked the reply button to respond, but it said that the thread never existed. Furthermore, when I searched the username 1dollar, it said no such user ever existed. Weirdest of all, her join date had been in 1928. That was 9 freaking decades ago. The internet didn't even exist back then.
==Post 6==
Posted September 1st, 2011
While on my friend's laptop, a dialog box suddenly appeared, prompting me to download "1dollar.exe". Knowing this could only be more of the old hag's haunting, I canceled the download, but guess what? It downloaded anyways. Ain't that just nifty? As soon as it finished, it opened itself up. I prepared for the worst. Another computer-destroying virus...the old hag contained within a computer file... 
It opened. It was...it was...a game. A game. Of all the wretched things 1dollar.exe could have been, it was just some PC game. It showed a generic menu screen, with the buttons PLAY, EXIT, and OPTIONS. The background was a picture of a dollar bill. I clicked OPTIONS. Just some graphics settings and such. I went back and clicked PLAY, again preparing myself for the worst. It gave an instruction screen on how to play. Basically, the concept was that you were a bank robber, and in each level, you had to go through obstacles to get to the bank and rob it. In each bank, you'd have to fight a boss, and if you beat the boss, you'd get the money.
So I played the game, with my friend and Coco watching anxiously. (Unrelated again: my friend's name is Bill)
It was your generic platform game, and I played through it quite easily. I beat 3 levels, and the 4th one was the final one before I got to the first bank. I beat that level and fought the boss. He was some kind of banker with superpowers or something. It was a world 1 boss, so he was ridiculously easy to beat. I beat him by shooting him in the head with a pistol and got the money. The game counted up my scores and so forth before taking me to the first level of world 2.
I figured I had played enough, so I tried to exit the window, but clicking the X only greeted me with the windows error sound. It wanted me to keep playing, and judging by all the weird crap that had happened to me recently, the reasons couldn't be good. I tried ending the application process with Task Manager, but the End Process button only gave me the error sound again. I tried shutting down, but the Shut Down button gave me the same results. It was very similar to when 1dollar.wav had first destroyed my old computer. 
Because the laptop was running on a battery, I had to take it out to shut it off. I put the battery back in, rebooted, and everything was normal again. I deleted 1dollar.exe. It didn't come back like 1dollar.wav did. It stayed deleted.
==Post 7==
Posted September 4th, 2011
More corner-of-my-eye sightings of the old hag. In all of them, she's holding a bloody knife. Boarding up our windows and doors didn't seem to help; she still got into the house. Today we un-boarded the front door to go and get the Sunday paper. Even if we're hiding from a sadistic ghost woman who wants to kill, us we still gotta keep up on the news, right? 
It said that a banker had been found dead at a local bank, with a bullet wound in his forehead. It showed a picture of the man, and to our horror, he looked exactly like the world 1 boss from 1dollar.exe. The way in which I had defeated him had even been a pistol to the head, and the paper said there was a bullet wound on his head. 
As I read the paper, I saw the old hag again out of the corner of my eye, holding a dead corpse under her arm that looked just like the banker. This time, I didn't focus on her. I focused on the paper, to see what would happen if I didn't make her disappear. If she tried to kill me or anything, I'd just look at her. She kept standing there with that demented smile and soul-eating stare. After a few moments, her smile began to fade and turn to a frown. As if she was disappointed that I didn't seem to notice her. I looked to Bill, and surprisingly, he had followed suit. Even Coco was pretending not to notice the hag. I turned back to the paper so I could continue seeing the hag out of the corner of my eye. It wasn't easy, trying not to see something yet see it at the same time. I kept wanting to look, but I knew if I focused on her, she would disappear. I wanted to know what would happen if that didn't happen.
Her disappointed expression then turned to a fierce and angry look. She raised her knife and lunged at me. In unison, me, Bill and Coco all whirled around to face the ghost. She stopped abruptly just as she was about to reach us, then vanished.
This raised yet another question: if she wants to kill us so badly, why didn't she just do it and get it over with, instead of taunting us like this? Maybe she doesn't want to kill us. Maybe she just wants to make us think she wants to kill us, make us paranoid to the point of insanity, just for her own sadistic pleasure and amusement. Sure wouldn't surprise me.
==Post 8==
Posted September 5th, 2011
I woke up this morning from the little sleep that I actually got. I opened my eyes, expecting to see the ceiling above me. But then I froze.
Standing above me, looking down into my eyes with her soul-devouring stare and insane smile, was the hag.
For several moments, there was silence. I said nothing, for I was too afraid. I didn't move. I didn't even breathe. My heart threatened to burst, it was pounding so hard. Then finally the hag broke the silence.
"Good morning, John," she said menacingly.
It took all of my courage to respond.
"Just tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you! Just leave me alone!" I replied.
"It's just so sad, when you have to live under a curse. The curse of my own creation. Forced to pass it on to others. The curse of one dollar. Of Greed. I never asked for this, but after having it shoved down my throat so much, I've...come to enjoy it. I'm not sure if it's my sanity that's been pushed by this, or what. But it comforts me to know others are feeling the same pain as me,"
"Enough of your cryptic crap," I yelled, and then suddenly Coco jumped out of nowhere and tackled the hag to the ground, growling furiously. The hag just smiled. "Go ahead. Do it. Rip me to bloody shreds. It might just be the only hope of destroying this horrid curse once and for all. Your suffering will be gone, and everyone who's ever fallen victim to Greed's villainy."
Before another word could be said, Coco began tearing that woman to bloody shreds. I never knew my dog could be so violent, but I didn't care. If it meant the end of this terror that loomed over us, it was worth it. Me and Bill (who had been woken up by all the commotion) could only watch as the hag was torn apart. She didn't even scream. In fact, she smiled, as if saying, "Thank God it's finally over,". And then it was done. Her body was mangled and ripped so badly you couldn't recognize her. Blood was splattered everywhere.
Then the body, or the pieces of it anyway, began to shimmer and fade away. Then they were gone. No trace of them remained. As if nothing had happened. Then we noticed a note laying on the floor where the hag had been. Bill picked it up and read it aloud:
"Destroy the dollars. Destroy the disc. Do it before the remnants of the curse that lie within them enslave you as it enslaved me."
I instantly knew what I had to do. I found the wallet I'd used to keep all the dollars the hag had left me and lit a match to it. A blood-curdling scream of pain sounded from it, and almost made me jump out of my skin. I threw it outside, and it burned until it was nothing but ashen dust. 
Then I found the disc containing 1dollar.wav. I threw it to the ground and stomped on it. Another blood curdling scream, and the disc spontaneously burst into flames. Now that is what I call "burning a CD-Rom". It burned until it was nothing but a bunch of melted plastic. I had to use a shovel to scrape it off the ground and chuck it outside.
For the rest of the day, nothing else happened. The hag never came back. Nothing.
I think at long last, this nightmare might be over. But I won't make assumptions too quickly. I'll wait a while, see if anything else comes up. If nothing does, I guess it's safe to assume the haunting of 1dollar.wav has ended.
==Post 9==
Posted November 12th 2011
Well, I think I've waited long enough without anything happening that I can safely assume this is all over. Me and Coco have moved back into our own house. Things seem to be returning to normal. And after some thinking, I've come up with a hypothesis as to what all that crap was about.
I think the hag was forced by a "curse" to do those terrible things. The curse was like a virus, using her to spread to others. I guess 1dollar.wav and all associated things are all duplicates of this "virus". I can only assume its proper name is "Greed", since that's what the hag kept referring to it as. How "Greed" came to be or what its purpose is, I can only wonder, but the hag seemed to hint that it was she who created it, and it was a screw-up that she made that caused all of this. I guess those dollars, the disc, and the hag were the last remnants of "Greed", and by destroying them, I destroyed "Greed" forever. She was so anxious to get her hands on "evidence" and "destroy it" because she wanted to destroy the curse of Greed. 
I don't know whether any of these guesses are even remotely correct, but I don't really care. As long as this nightmare is over, I'm content with not knowing. And I'm pretty darn certain that it's finally over.
You think so, huh?
This is the first part of the Goodman Saga.
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