Under The Stage Lights

the stage lights are on again.
are you proud that it shows off your beauty on the outside...
 
...or are you terrified that it reveals everything you kept hidden on the inside?
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written by essence, for wings of writing. please do not edit without permission. 
featuring storm, told from her first person point of view. anima makes a brief appearance.
prompts: secrets, weapons, lies 
i.
-----
"3 more minutes until your turn, Ms Lightning."
3 more minutes until the stage lights would turn on.
I nodded at the IceWing that gave the tiny reminder, her eyes constantly wide as she gazed upon me, as if she was working for a literal goddess. Upon seeing my gesture of approval, her expression brightened immediately, as she flashed me a smile before disappearing behind the curtains again.
It's good to know that she respects me.
Oh please, you know that Flake gets excited about everything.
"How does your makeup look today, miss?"
I shook my head to dispel the stray thought that crept in, focusing on the feeling of another set of talons on my costume for tonight, smoothing out the creases of the fabric that matched my eye color. Hibiscus's talons were far from the perfect comfort I could get before I braced myself for this task that was about to follow, but it was better than nothing.
I closed my eyes, inhaled as deeply as I could, and gazed into the reflective surface.
A smaller dragoness with pink frills and sky blue eyes, carrying an almost identical appearance to that of her companion earlier, was present in the mirror, but my attention was drawn to the figure in the center, like the eyes of the audience to the performer in the spotlight.
A tall figure. Graceful curves, smooth and pristine deep blue scales, draped in a flowing, rippling midnight dress. A sail on her spine that glittered like jewels. Her wings were spread wide open, part of the night sky forever embedded on them. Two amethysts sat on her flawlessly shaped face, the pearlescent horns on her head gracing the regal expression she was trying to maintain.
The Lightning Queen. The legendary singing dragoness. The performer with unrivaled beauty and brains, with a voice that could charm even a rock.
Or just a dragoness named Storm.
Shaking my head, I looked away from those eyes, which now felt so foreign that I could hardly recognize them as mine. It was almost like looking into a stranger's eyes, something that deeply unsettled me.
Admit it, you are scared of the twisting, aren't you?
"Miss? Are you alright?" 
Of course I am. I'm the Lightning Queen, the greatest singer dragonkind has ever known, the dragoness no one would dare to cross. 
Your name is just Storm.
Just Storm...
Storm.
I tore my eyes away from the mirror just as the edges of the image started to cloud with purple. 
"It's good, as always." I responded as naturally as possible, opting to focus on my assistant's rather concerned face. Right now, I had to show her the flawless, untouchable side of the stellar performer, someone who couldn't be hurt amidst explosions, but little did she know, my mind was screaming, clawing, begging that she hadn't seen the horrible flashes just a second ago.
Fortunately, the RainWing seemed to have bought my act, her expression melting into a genuine smile. The urge to smile back bubbled up in me, making the muscles in my face twitch, yet my cheeks hurt at the thought of the mere action. 
You've been faking them for too long.
"I'm glad! I take it that you're ready?" Her voice was filled with excitement - exhilaration even, almost as if she was the one about to go on stage and wow the expecting crowd. 
Oh, how desperately did I want to feel like that again. 
How ironic that what I feel now is only this inescapable dread.
But the show had to go on. 
I nodded mutely, making sure my mask of confidence was on again before I let the RainWing escort me on stage. 
The distorted voice that I've been hearing seemed to have gone silent - or it could have been drowned out by the roars of the crowd - I wasn't sure. All I knew was that when the spotlight shone on me, bathing the entire stage in a cascade of white, I wasn't the same dragon I was just a few minutes ago. 
That's who the world was meant to see - The Lightning Queen. The gorgeous dragoness with unmatched beauty, the singer with a silver tongue capable of swaying everyone with a few words, the textbook definition of a true star - shining ever so brightly, burning with stunning flames, and always remaining distant, untouchable, but most importantly, invulnerable. 
The world does not need to know that these qualities only existed when the masks were worn. The audience didn't need to see the pain that she felt whenever she flashed those smiles like she flashed the beauty of her wings. They did not need to know that the soul behind this strong, beautiful figure of a dragoness was barely hanging on to a thread, akin to broken glass that was waiting to fall for one last time. When she was on the stage, all she could see was the clapping and cheering of her fans, and not the grotesque images that disfigured her perfect visage whenever she looked into the mirror for too long. 
The world does not need to remember the name Storm. 
I stepped onto the stage, towards the countless gazes of the dragons seated below, hearing my RainWing assistant mutter one last "good luck" before darting away into the shadows. 
The stage lights were on. 
The charade would go on. 
As long as the Lightning Queen was taking the stage, everything about Storm will remain hidden. 
A star has her secrets, after all. 
ii.
-----
When I'm out on the stage, there was at least comfort in the solitude. 
It sounds ironic, when literally thousands of eyes are staring at me, eagerly anticipating for more; when countless voices cheer my name, demanding that I put on a good show; when the camera lights flashed relentlessly, making my face visible to even dragons that were hundreds of miles away. 
Alone seems like the last word you would use to describe a performer on a stage.
But when I'm on stage, there was no one up there with me. The performing grounds were my domain, my kingdom, even. I was a queen ruling in the comfortable revelation that no one was there to take my throne, flaunting all of my power and grace in my true element.
On this stage, there are no challengers.
Needless to say, I enjoy my time under the spotlight, in a way. It was an escape, an escape from the reality that was the thousands of fans flocking behind me wherever I go, a paradise where I can feel like I'm in control.
Yet, it seems like someone had to ruin this haven for me.
"Let's have a big round of applause for The Lightning Queen!" 
The deafening roars of the crowd wasn't enough to distract me from the fact that something was off. The announcer did not give the cue for me to start singing this late, and neither did the pointless introductions he did before my performance last as long.
"However, we have one more little surprise for you all, including you, Queen!" The flamboyant SkyWing announcer walked out from the shadows, flashing me a cheeky smile before making a grand gesture towards the opposite side of the stage, where pink smoke materialized, cloaking a mysterious figure within the shroud.
The wild clapping and stomping of talons instantly went silent in my ears as my blood ran cold.
No. It can't be.
I take it back. It seems like you do have competition.
I didn't hear what the announcer blabbered on about next, only catching the words "dark", "beauty", "legendary collaboration" and "lighter turn of events" somewhere along the way. My eyes were fixed on the figure that slowly stepped out of the haze, the pink that was supposed to symbolize love making me feel oddly sick.
Another dragoness, with smooth lilac scales, the changing shades of her colors rippling underneath the royal purple dress she wore for today. Her crystal blue eyes blinked, as if to adjust to the sudden change in lighting, before her gaze too fell on me.
She smiled.
I felt like the world collapsing would be a better fate than seeing her.
"To all of you girls and guys in the crowd! Let's have another round of applause for our other singing sensation, Anima!'
Once again, the applause fell on my deaf ears.
Anima.
The last time I heard of this name was more than a few years ago. If I had the choice, I would have never met her, but I guess it was inevitable anyway. We shared the same hometown, same school, same interests, and now, even the same careers. Fate must have been playing a cruel prank on me, because it almost feels like we were destined to meet under these circumstances again.
I never knew how to feel about Anima. In the first years we've been acquainted, I have only known her as "just another student in music class", nothing else. I cannot deny, at one point, I might have even felt admiration, affection, even, for the dragoness.
And those feelings disgust me, oh boy, they do.
Or you were just upset that she never noticed you the same way.
Those feelings were fleeting and pointless - after all, every dragon has had their fair share of crushes at that age. They meant nothing in the end. She was just as insignificant as any other dragoness that crossed the grand highway that was my life. 
Or so I thought. 
Over the years, instead of diminishing into the background, like every other dragon I've met in school (a stab of guilt came as an image of a green dragoness formed briefly in my mind), she seemed to become more and more involved. If I was the protagonist of my story, it felt like she was the one driving the plot up to this climax, stirring up all the conflict that need not be present. 
At every performance I attended, she was there. In every audition for musical plays, she would be among the participants. Even in large-scale shows that featured me as the star, she would always, always find a way to squirm into the spotlight somehow, making it entirely impossible for me to tell who exactly was the audience cheering for. 
"And now, let the real show begin!" 
I had no idea when the announcer disappeared from view, leaving only the two of us under a spotlight. 
Two of us. 
When the spotlight should belong to me, and mine alone. 
Reminiscent of a duel, isn't it?
What?
It must be something I've missed when the SkyWing had spoken, because not a moment after he left the stage, around 7 to 8 IceWings, all wearing matching snowy white dresses, their wings draped with feathers of the same color. The music that started playing soon after was... slow, so slow that it could possibly be classified as boring, with none of the grandiose effects or bright lights that accompanied my usual shows.
Unsurprising, actually. They must be accommodations made for her.
As the IceWings began their dance, gliding around the stage soundlessly in circles, my voice chimed in with the first lines of the song.
I could only hope that what I heard was only my mind's doing.
Because instead of hearing the sonorous melody enfolding an ethereal atmosphere, my voice came out dark, almost distorted, like a war cry to start a losing battle.
Because it is your losing battle.
I blinked a few times, my vision suddenly going hazy as I finished singing the first verse. This was an unplanned intrusion, but I was smart enough to tell that this interlude was Anima's turn.
Despite all the distaste I held for that dragoness, I found my gaze drawn to her, just like countless of others below the stage. I hated to admit it, but I could see why she attracts attention as easily as honey attracts bees.
Oh, but why does the hatred burn so strongly in you?
But do I truly hate her? Or is this something else I'm feeling?
Just look around you.
Listening to a mysterious voice haunting the recesses of your mind in the middle of the performance was probably the last thing I should do, but it was exactly what I did. 
I saw red.
Not metaphorically, oh no. It was blood, splattering the stage floor in a gruesome sight, tainting the pure white of the dancers' wings. Yet the dancers themselves seemed oblivious, continuing their languid movements as sickening sprays of red decorated the scene.
Do you look so beautiful when you sing?
I turned my head away from the gory sight, my eyes locking on the other singer on stage. Surprisingly, the only one on stage besides me who was completely clean of blood was Anima. She, too, seemed to be entirely unaware of what was happening around us, and the pink aura that had surrounded her the moment she came on stage never left her.
In fact, she was literally glowing.
I tore my eyes away from her. Undiluted rage was threatening to show itself, prompting me to do something, anything, just to get that stupidly perfect dragon off the stage...
Look beside your right foot.
My eyes trailed down to my talons, where a sharp glint drew my attention. I stared at the sharp edge, the steel gleaming and radiating malice. The sight of the dagger wasn't the thing that struck fear in me - it was the two hateful eyes that stared back at me - eyes that I couldn't believe were my own. 
Was this a sign for me to act? It all seemed so easy - so easy to just pick up the piece of deadly, sharp metal, so easy to aim it towards the still performing dragoness, so easy to watch it stab right through her lilac scales and watch her join the sea of red on stage...
Are you going to act, or just stay a coward?
Another round of applause drowned out the voice, accompanied by crowds cheering both of our names as I shook my head slightly, and as soon as I blinked, the gruesome sights were gone, and so was the dagger that I was so close to picking up a moment ago. As Anima bowed to the crowd, I followed suit, hoping that no one had noticed my stiffened limbs as I left the stage to my beckoning crew behind the curtains. 
As much as my assistants were gushing on about my performance and how my voice sounded amazing as usual, I couldn't shake the image of the battlefield that was imprinted in my mind. 
And every time Anima's name was spoken, the sight of the weapons littering the stage returned, their surfaces taunting me as the pleasant memories of the stage lights that they reflected grow farther out of reach.
iii.
-----
You might not believe it, but fan meets are one of my favorite things about being a star.
Sure, there are some loud and obnoxious ones, not to mention outright creepy dragons who might try to stalk me or even cause riots at my public performances - but most of the time, their genuine smiles and looks of adoration were worth the time, no matter how tired or sore the rest of my body were from being on stage.
"No, I should go first! You should know that there is no more loyal fan of the Lightning Queen than I am!" A small green RainWing, who couldn't have been more than 3 years old, said smugly to another dragonet standing beside her. 
"Yes, miss, but I couldn't help but notice that I was first in line, and that isn't changing." The other dragonet, a slightly larger SeaWing, retorted. 
I smiled. Dragonets were so innocent and adorable in their ways - I would never turn down a fan request from them as long as it was within my capabilities.
Are you sure it isn't just because they are too young to see everything that's wrong with you?
Category:Content (Light Fairy)
Category:Fanfictions
Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete)