Weirdness

Weirdness is a SpongeBob fanon episode from Season 366. In this episode, strange things inexplicably start happening in Bikini Bottom.
== Transcript ==
[The scene starts with SpongeBob talking with Patrick]
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick!
Patrick: Salutations, SpongeBob. 
SpongeBob: "Salutations"? Where'd you learn that word?
Patrick: My intellectual abilities inexplicably increased this morning from my formerly primitive cognitive abilities.
SpongeBob: What?? Your inty-lecual abilities inexpopably... opably... what??
Squidward: Your telling ME your day's been weird! Earlier an art collector actually BOUGHT one of my paintings! And not just for firewood this time!
SpongeBob: And my house is now a giant banana.
[Cut to SpongeBob's house, which is now a giant banana]
SpongeBob: And I have to say, it's a very inconvenient shape for a structure of a house.
Patrick: I propose we ask Sandy if she can provide an explanation for this! She has astounding scientific and mathematical abilities.
SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, you seem pretty smart. Why don't...
Squidward: Oh puh-leaze. Patrick isn't smart; he just learnt a bunch of new words!
Patrick: The octopus's hypothesis is incorrect! My astronomical cognitive improvement stretches far beyond the vocabulary I... Oh forget it, he's right.
[Bubble transition to Sandy's treedome]
Patrick: It is a necessity that you provide an explanation for these inexplicable behavioural anomalies and factual inconsistencies we have been experiencing!
Sandy: Patrick, have you been near the brain coral again?
Patrick: That statement is incorrect - I was simply consuming my breakfast when I noticed the inexplicable altering of...
Squidward: Patrick uses big words anymore. Doesn't make much logical sense. Speak so we can understand you!
[Squidward's eyeballs turn red]
SpongeBob: AAAAAHHH!
Squidward: What??
Patrick: Your visual organs now reflect electromagnetic radiation with wavelengths...
SpongeBob: Your eyes have turned red!
Squidward: Huh?? [Looks in mirror] AHHH!!!
Sandy: Hmm... I say we look around Bikini Bottom for any strange changes.
[Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: So haven't you noticed anything different, Mr Krabs?
Mr Krabs: Well... My coin collection. Suddenly I've got a bunch of 2-cent and 20-cent coins. And my quarters have disappeared. And my dollar bills have turned into coins, and...
Patrick: I deduce that your coin collection has turned into British currency.
Mr Krabs: Don't be ridicu... [Looks at five-dollar bill in his pocket. It is now a five-pound note] You're right!!! Anyway, aren't you gonna order something? I've got chum, chum sandwiches, chum stew, chum shakes, chum...
SpongeBob: [Gasps] Didn't you used to serve Krabby Patties?
Mr Krabs: Don't be... [Gasps] Yeah! I DID used to serve Krabby Patties! And now the restaurant across the street is serving... PLANKTON!
[Bubble transition to Chum Bucket]
Plankton: Alright, Mr Krabs, you got me! This Universe Transporter is behind this. I've found a universe similar to ours, but I make Krabby Patties while Mr Krabs makes chum, plus a few other small differences. 
SpongeBob: SMALL differences??? My house is now a BANANA!!!
Plankton: Don't interrupt! This device slowly transports characteristics from that universe over to this one. By midnight they'll be identical. And the best part? By then you'll all have forgotten about our original lives and come to accept this universe as reality.
SpongeBob: Oh no! I can't live in a BANANA forever! It's so inconvenient!
Mr Krabs: Hey, Squidward?
Squidward: Yeah?
Mr Krabs: Was your tongue always a snake?
Squidward: A snake?? AAAHHH!!!! MY TONGUE IS A SNAKE!!!!
Sandy: How was THAT a feature of this alternate universe?
Plankton: It's a long story.
Squidward: AHH!! AHHHH!!!! IT BIT ME!!!!!!!
Patrick: I propose we deconstruct the makeup of the multiversal transitional device.
Mr Krabs: What??? I think that extra vocabulary has replaced your common sense.
Patrick: DESTROY THE MACHINE!!!
Plankton: You can't! I've discovered the most indestructible alloy ever known. You couldn't destroy this with an incoming meteor.
Sandy: Maybe we could UNPLUG the machine!
Patrick: There is no plug connected to the machine. It must run on an internal power generator. It creates its own electricity.
[Sandy disappears]
SpongeBob: Hey! Where'd Sandy go?
Plankton: In this universe, Sandy never left Texas! None of you have ever met her or even know she exists.
SpongeBob: Quick, Patrick! Think of a solution!
Patrick: I am applying my powerful cranium to deduce the most advantageous solution to the dilemma at...
SpongeBob: STOP TALKING!!! START THINKING!!!
Patrick: I've got it! Plankton, how did you locate this other universe?
Plankton: Not saying! Har har!
Patrick: [Steps on Plankton and starts squishing him around] Tell me.
Plankton: AAAHH!! OK, it's that big red gun in the corner! You zap what you want to transport to another universe!
Patrick: [Grabs gun and shoots the machine] I hope this works!
[Patrick zaps the machine and a blinding flash of light occurs]
SpongeBob: Urrrrgh... Did that work?
Patrick: I think so.
SpongeBob: Try saying something.
Patrick: Um... How come there was a flash of white light? That was very... very... very... not normal
SpongeBob: [Looks out window and sees his house in the distance] And my house is once again a pineapple! It worked!
Squidward: My eyes are no longer red and my tongue is no longer a snake!
Mr Krabs: And I once again sell Krabby Patties!
Sandy: Woah! The weirdest thing just happened! I was transported to Texas suddenly, and I...
SpongeBob: Welcome back, Sandy!
Plankton: CURSES!!!
[Episode ends]
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