2013.07.20 - That's So Tacky

Well the governments saw the alien ship and well the Scarlet Skier approaching Earth. Well they tried missiles to intercept them, and that failed. So of course the government sent out a distress call, and well the media got word of it, and they started reporting about it. Governments were able to figure out where the aliens were going to land, so well the broadcast went out telling everyone, and even the civilians that the aliens were coming to Yankee Stadium!
It's a good thing that the Yankees were on the road today, or else this would be a bad thing. But people gathered, and so did the heroes. Hey not all aliens are nice, like Superman you know. Some are evil and mean, and they just look completely strange. So the heroes were secluded in one area with a general who was giving them all orders, "Do not attack the creature or creatures unless they attack you first! We will make first contact you are here as a last resort."
Of course the civilians were separated, but the government couldn't keep them away. So they started to occupy the empty seats of the stadium, just waiting to see what the fun aliens are going to look like.
Being one of the least plugged-in young adults on the planet, Fern hadn't heard the breaking news of impending excitement. With her magnetism for the weird, she just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time again. Of course, people rushing into the stadium was enough to make her stop and consider the situation for a moment. Apparently no one was paying or passing over tickets. Letting her curiosity get the better of her when good judgment says 'Go back home, Fern', she wanders in, walking slowly amidst a sea of others rushing to see the show. She's heard the murmurs of 'alien' through the crowd, but for some reason she keeps on, emerging through one of the tunnels from the concourse into the stands, pausing at the summit to look around.
The Tick heard the siren call for Justice! WEll, that is, he overheard a couple of people in the diner talking about an alien invasion, "Do you think we should go see the aliens?" "Awwww, I dunno, Gladys, I've got four episodes of White Collar backed up on my DVR!" "That Matt Bomer's such a cutie pie!" "I know!" "Way cuter than aliens at Yankee Stadium." "For sure!" Aliens! At Yankee Stadium! Egad, that's...that's not very Yankee-ish. Tick isn't red white and blue, just blue, but that blue runs SO DEEP! Tick takes only the time it requires to finish his Monte Cristo (grilled sandwiches taste like JUSTICE!), and then he's off. One leap. Two leaps. Three! He actually leaps over the wall of the stadium and lands a few feet in front of the general, an incredible feat of derring do if he didn't a) land hard enough to drag a twenty foot ditch in his wake, completely ruining the field b) land head first, leaving him entirely buried, ostrich style, with his legs sticking straight up in the air and c) pop his head out of said hole, with a base lodged firmly between his antenna and say, "Private First Class The Tick, reporting for duty general! Point me in the directions of those aliens! I'm a-ready to wallop!"
"...So, like, there's this GOOBER who is being WAY rudetastic, all, 'No you can't do that', and I was like, 'Yes-huh!' And then some suits with guys in them, like, all drilled or chiseled or whatever, show up! And they're like, 'I thought I told you--' and I just go, 'Whatevs, goobers! Talk to the hand!' And then Agents K and J and LMNOP are just totally SPEECHLESS! I guess maybe their minds were totally 'blown' or something? So anyway I--" a Japanese girl with white hair is interrupted in her regailing a suffering soldier with her exploits when some General starts bossing her about staying out of the way. "Hai, hai! <<Yes, yes!>> I'm just here incase someone gets, like, injurificated, Admiral Dirtbike! But, like, what was the point in calling us out here if we're just going to stand around like... Like a bunch of SLEUTHS?"
Konomi pauses a micro-second to think about that before continuing on without pausing for air. "Was it sleuths? I could have totally sworn that was the word for those monkey-gorilla-bigfoots who lounge around sleeping all day, but now that I'm saying it outloud it sounds, like, not quite KOSHER, you know? Oh, speaking of that, I'm totally going to grab a hotdog! Hey, Lieutenant Burlap, you want a hotdog too?" Konomi hops up on top of a robotic thing that resembles a four-legged insect-like creature plated in white plastic, right as The Tick slams into the field and digs a trench.
Konomi sits astride her robotic ride, hands on a control panel between its shoulders, and watches as the Tick finally comes to a stop. Then she rides Midi over and asks, "Cool landing, 'bro'! That's what you guys say, right? I totally heard it somewhere! Anyway, you want a hot dog? I want a hot dog. I'm totally about to go get one! Or maybe two. Two other than the one I'm being way generositified in offering to you, I mean.--Oh, right, and are you okay? I'm a doctor, so if I need to operate, just let me know!"
Hovering in the air above Yankee Stadium, Zack's clad in his black uniform glasses ditched in favor of being able to see properly. His blue eyes glow a little bit as he tries to see far beyond where he was. He stretches a little bit. A rapier held in his right hand, he tries to keep himself hidden from view for now. He takes a nice slow deep breath inwards trying to relax himself.
The General looks at the lady, "You are here as reserve, we do not know if it is a hostile alien, they can be here just to welcome us to some galactic organization." Or maybe they are here to figure out who is the biggest douche in the universe, cause all the money is totally on John Edward for that one. "We do not attack the alien, unless he proves that he is hostile." He looks at Tick the man who made the worst landing ever, "That goes double for you." Why does he get stuck with these people?
But well the alien decides to appear at that moment. And he is big, about 100 feet in high, and he is dressed colorfully! And he has his locator with him, the Scarliet Skier, who is the size of a regular person so not as impressive. "People of Earth, my locator has brought me here so that I may redecorate your planet. You are just too tacky to be around now." With that he gestures are the soldiers that are there and their clothes turn neon pink, "See that is an improvement!"
While most are content to slip into seats and await the happenings, Fern moves down the aisle, heading toward the home team dugout. Surprisingly, there's no one already on the roof, since the arrival of the aliens immediately captures attention. She reaches the last row of seats, curiously watching events unfold. As the soldiers get their wardrobe altered, the crowd ooooohs appreciatively, not moving from their places, and Fern says softly, "An intergalactic decorator?" Can this city get any more weird? As she ponders this question, she hears something from the dugout in front of her that sounds like a muffled bark. Without considering the repurcussions, Fern immediately slides a leg over the rail, and scoots herself over to land on the field. Thankfully there was nothing to catch on her shorts and leave her hanging there like a pinata.
The Tick beams, turning to Konomi as the general tells him off, 'Did you hear that? DOUBLE! Score!" he grins, trying to high five the diminutive Japanese girl, a rather difficult prospect since his outstretched hand is about eight and a half feet in the air. "Oooooh. Uh. Sorry, there, um...I hope I didn't make you self conscious there. Many people these days are vertically and...agedly challenged. OH TO BE YOUNG AGAIN! FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY FREE! But I'm a grown-up now and, as a grown-up, I have to bear the responsibilities and the duties. I will pay the bills of Justice, empty out the gutters of Righteousness, and take out the wicked, wicked trash! I'm double-bagging it, baby!" he cries.
As the soldier's clothes turn pink, Tick's antennae twitch, "Slap a dolphin, but that's crazy! You can't have pink soldiers! People will think they're cupcakes! You can't trick people into thinking cupcakes can use machine guns! YOU CAN'T GOBBLE DELICIOUS MACHINE GUN CAKES! IT'LL GIVE YOU A TUMMYACHE!" he says, pointing accusingly at the sky, "Well, you can just take your tummyache back where it came from, Mister! We don't want it here! So you better just skedaddle before I give you a big old five knuckled dose of Milk of Magnesia. I'M GONNA SOOTHE YOU RIGHT INTO NEXT WEEK!"
Konomi raises a hand to high-five back even though she can't reach, yelling out, "Yeah! High-five! Roketto shippu! To the max! Tyrannosaurus!" Seems she's saying whatever seems appropriate for such a dramatic bonding moment, because none of it makes sense. However, as she stretches her noodly teenage girl arm up, she leans on her controls with her other hand, and Midi skitters out of range, moving in a ring-pattern and resulting in Konomi unintentionally circlinaiding the Tick as she keeps stretching up on tip toes on her mount. She doesn't really realize the Tick's words make no real sense, because English isn't her native language and she rarely makes sense herself.
AND THEN the alien appears all giant and everything. Konomi startles and plops back down on her robot. "Like, zee-oh-em-gee! Is this that one dude with the face? The cat guy? Do all our bases belong to them now!?" she starts asking in a panic. The red guy who turns people pink just causes Konomi to clap her hands to her cheeks in surprise and keep up a steady stream of chatter. 'Pink, wow!' 'I wonder if he can do plaid!' 'Stegosaurus!' and so on.
She was told to stay out of the way. So she is.
Redecorate. Zack almost cringes at the words that come from the Scarlet Skier. He's worried about what that means exactly. And then the soldiers are clad in pink. "Oh dear god." He says cringing a little bit. He looks up to the sky,"REALLY?! PINK?! No. That will not due! Pink is hideous!" He calls out loudly pointing his rapier towards the Intergalactic Redecorator and serious wonders if he can banish such hideous taste into the farthest dimension! His blue eyes are vibrant as he begins using his rapier to trace a a bright line of pure white light to form a symbol in midair.
Once his soldiers are turned Pink, the General just goes open mouthed at that one, that is just not right at all. Once that he yells out the order, "ATTACK!" See that's why the heroes are there, to attack when uniforms are turned pink or something silly like that. But once the soldiers start to open fire on him Mr. Nebula waves his hand a giant plaid rock shows up to protect him from the barrage. "No this will not do. This planet is just too boring it needs a lot more color! You should be thanking me for this!"
Now when Fern goes into the dug out she's going to find a strange thing, the Scarliet skier, playing with a dog! "Uhm hi? Is he done yet? This is getting really boring, planet after planet he shows up and changes it around. Then I have to find him another one." After that he goes back to playing with the dog that found it's way in the park.
As for Zack, well he may have some trouble with Mr. Nebula. He was turned the way he is by Lords of Order and Chaos! Just because he insulted them when he was mild mannered decorator name Kirtan Rodd! But one day he will get his revenge on Jakk and St'nn for trapping him in that dimension, but hey he did get nifty powers out of it!
The sight stops Fern in her tracks at her feet hit the bottom of the three stairs leading down into the home team's burrow. True Yankee fans would give their firstborn experience, and Fern manages to just stumble into it. "Hi," she returns an uncertain greeting to the alien in red. The question turns her head, the happily frolicking little dog of less consequence now that she doesn't think it'll come to harm. Not immediately, anyway. The young waitress takes a moment to look out over the playing field, at the army and the superheroes and the big plaid rock. "Somehow I don't think he's done, no," is ventured uncertainly. She looks back, not feeling exactly threatened by an alien life form that has the good sense to play with a dog. "I'm Fern. Does he ever... hurt anyone?"
The Tick watches as the plaid rock shield Mr. Nebula from the gunfire of the soldiers and grits his teeth, "THat just isn't gin rummy, fella! First, you make the soldiers into cupcakes and then you insult the colors of planet Earth? Well, let me just tell you, the Tick won't stand for it! I'm from Earth! Earth is a cool hangout with lots of swell folks! Y'know, I'd heard of decorating schemes before, but I never realized that it meant that you decorators were a bunch of scheming schemers! You can't just to changing the colors of things! How will I remember which socks are which whenever I remember to buy socks and/or need to wear some?!? How can we have green eggs and ham be special if you make all the eggs green?! You don't mess with the Seuss, buddy boy! OH YOU WICKED AESTHETE! PREPARE TO TASTE THE UNBRIDLED FLAVOR OF TECHNICOLOR JUSTICE!"
Tick leas straight up and at that big, plaid rock, pulling back his mighty fist and striking the bestest superhero pose he can manage, including outstretched hind leg, bend foreleg, big gleaming smile and a determined look in his wide, vacant eyes, "SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" he cries, his howling battle cry echoing through the stadium, striking fear into the hearts of few and confusing many.
"Holey plots!" Konomi exclaims. "He really can do plaid! Like, that's SO tripendicular!" Then she is commanded to attack. Or the soldiers are. She's not really clear on that. But she isn't really a combatant, so she just conveniently interprets the order to mean 'attack everyone who is not Doctor Awesome', and rides Midi over to the soldiers to attempt to cure them of their pinkness. "Hold your breath, everyone! And covers your eyes! And plug your ears! And nose. And actually, make sure your skin is covered completely too! Preferably with something immune to acid!--Hah! Just kidderificating! I don't have any acid. Midi! Launch the peptobysmol grenades -- green-flavor!" The robot does as commanded, primarily by virtue of Konomi pressing the button to make it happen.
No, this robot does not follow voice commands. Why is she talking to it? Because lots of protagonists in anime do the same thing with their manually-operated mecha, and she grew up watching giant robot anime, and so she KIND OF JUST ASSUMED THAT'S HOW IT WORKS OKAY!? Grenades are launched that spray stomach-soothing medicine everywhere in the color of green, masking the awful pink color.
And turning the soldiers green. Konomi gives a double thumbs-up.
Finishing his symbol in the air, Zack says,"A torrent floods." He says and directs a stream of prismatic water towards Mister Nebula. Yes. Let's see how you like being excessively coloured Mr Worst Decorating Sense EVER! "Plaid goes with nothing you bloody git! I've seen bloody chavs with better fashion sense than you." He says as loud as he can. Why couldn't he go to like Mars and share his vision of a world with that where no one will really /see/ it. Ugh.
Mr. Nebula actually gasps at everyone, someone destroyed his precious plaid rock, "No I have come here to help you, and you destroy it!" And the someone else actually fixes his pink uniforms, "No that won't do. It needs more color! This planet has monotones everywhere!" he gestures again to prove his point, and turn the grass a nice shade of mauve! And that is when the water hits him, "What is this stuff? Vauge, and wet at the same time..." he takes a small taste of the water, "EUGH! This is dreadful, I have arrived at the right moment." Zack starts saying mean and nasty things, "You are just evil, saying those things about my decorating skills!" He points at Zack, and paisley bubbles shoot from his finger at the guy. The Bubbles are sticky, but will just kinda weigh Zack down if they hit. Of course attacking Zack does leave him open for the Tick, who's leap should tack him right at Mr. Nebula
As for Fern her and her new friend are just having a nice conversation, the Scarlet Skier has discovered the joys of catch and is tossing a ball at the dog. "Well not intentionally, but sometimes he is a little careless in his appeal to decorate and people do get hurt. He's not that bad of a guy himself, he just wants to be appreciated for his work. Oh why do you humans sign your objects? That ball was signed by a Baby Ruth and a Lou Rig, just seems like a strange thing."
Staying near the steps that led her down into the dugout, Fern glances back doubtfully, apparently not very reassured by her companion's words. Her answer comes without real thought, more by her irresistible urge to be polite and reply, "They're famous sports guys. People pay to own things they sign." It doesn't even dawn on her that they are playing catch with something that could likely pay her rent for the next several years. There's a light frown on her face as she says, "Maybe.... maybe they won't do any good to start a fight then..." She likes the superheros she's met and all, but they do seem to be a rather fisty group when sometimes words might suffice. Especially some sort of compliment, even if not entirely sincere. On impulse she turns, marching right back up those three stairs to emerge on the field again and head toward the fracas. And the bubbles.
Speaking of FISTY!
Some heroes learn martial arts. They spend endless hours training, mastering their craft, earning belts and taking on senseis. They are professionals, honed warriors, their heroic skills mastered with hard work, dedication, sweat, blood and tears. Others are naturally gifted with powers that make up for their lack of physical coordination, mental telepathy or energy manipulation or the ability to control invisible rabbits that can eat anything. That sort of thing.
And then there's The Tick.
If the Tick was trained, he does not remember it. If he had a martial art to practice, he forgot about it and decided to spend an hour trying to do the word jumble in the newspaper (hint: he could do not do the word jumble in the newspaper). While he is a superhero by profession, by calling, by declaration and pretty much by default, his fighting ability, while surprisingly effective in a statistically measurable sort of way, if you were to have to define it in some sort of system that assigned numbers to things like that, he is, nevertheless, an enthusiastic, fearless, reckless fighter. So, when he finds himself hurtling towards Mr. Nebula, he just throws a good, old-fashioned, All-American, Ham-and-Egger Punch. Four fingers, one thumb, wrapped around a palm, pulled back and swung forward, with the intent of rearranging intergalactic decorator facial features into an inverted dent that pokes out of the back of said decorator's head. Add liberal repeat of "SPOON" battlecry. Add hopefully comical and onomotapeic sound effect of fist impacting skull. Justice, smothered in gravy, Texas style. Now serving Mr. Nebula. *DING*
"Repel and increase!" Zack says holding out his hand and creates a repelling wave of force to knock the bubbles back towards Mr Nebula. So he's trying to make the bubbles increase in power and also return to him. He's not sure whether he can because he can see the power in this guy right now. "Well if you don't like what I said then don't prove me right! Learn to decorate for REAL!"
Konomi's eyes -- one blue, one yellow, because cosplay contacts are the best especially when mismatched -- get reaaaallly big as the grass changes color. Now, Konomi might be extremely irreverent about many things, but grass being green -- or potentially ugly-brown -- is almost not exactly sacred only not really! So she turns Midi around to face the aliens, and stands on top of the robot's back in her 'scoop'-shaped seat. Then she points dramatically asks, "What do you have against grass!? What has grass ever done to you!? Did it make fun of you in school!? If you want to color stuff, I'm pretty sure maybe we could get you, like, a totally gimongous coloring book or something! This is, like, someone else's property, you know!?" Then she plops back down on Midi and gets out the disinfectant hose to see if she can salvage the grass by pouring awful chemicals on it.
"Repel and increase!" Zack says holding out his hand and creates a repelling wave of force to knock the bubbles back towards Mr Nebula. So he's trying to make the bubbles increase in power and also return to him. He's not sure whether he can because he can see the power in this guy right now. "Well if you don't like what I said then don't prove me right! Learn to decorate for REAL!" He calls out as he considers all of this trying to think of new things to handle the problem at hand.
The Punch heard round the world! The blow is enough to stagger Mr. Nebula, he's not used to actual physical conflict, this is just so wrong. So once the hit happens he staggers and falls over, and OMG he just crushed monument park! However Tick's punch does get him out of the way of the bubbles that Zack was able to send back his way. Now after the blue guy attacks him, Mr. Nebula just rises to his feet and looks at Tick, "You are too monotone, you need some color!" He waves his hand and tries to turn tick a shade of Neon Green and Neon Blue, he gets two colors together, he's special! "See dual colors, just much better!"
Scarliet Skier looks at Fern, "Well that's silly, why would the sign the ball, that makes no sense." He tosses the ball at the dog again, "He'll keep doing this until the planet his redecorated." His costume magically starts to generate the pictures of the planets that Mr. Nebula has visited, like if Las Vegas was a planet. "He'll do this to this planet as well. Once he's done he'll leave, they should just let him go. Or maybe they'll stop him and I'll be free! I was kinda free once, I was put in an intergalactic prison, by a Green Lantern named G'Nort. It was quiet there I got to study at the Manga Khan School of Melodrama."
As for Konomi, well since Mr. Nebula is busy with the Tick right now, he can't do much about her. So she is totally changing the colors back to normal now. Hey if Nebula change's the Tick's color she should totally help him!
Fern falters as Scarlet Skier goes on talking, half turning back toward the dugout. It's rude to just walk away as someone is talking. But is it still rude if her intent is to stop the redecoration of Earth. It takes some effort for her to stay the course, and she makes a mental note to apologize for her rudeness later, if there's a change. He didn't seem like a terrible guy at all, just a little..... odd. But no, if she can help she's bound to do so, and she resumes her advance toward Mr. Nebula and the Superheroes. The walk turns to a jog, and she crosses the distance rapidly, calling out as she nears, "Hey! Hey! No one has to get hurt! Can't we all just get along?"
The Tick finds himself redecorated! He looks at himself, hands outstretched, as he's bisected by green and orange neon, an almost blinding hue that seems to nearly glow in the dark on his...well, it's not skin, is it? His exo-skeleton? His Tick-sheathe? Ew, that sounds...okay, anything but Tick-sheathe! You know what, we're just gonna go with skin and you can pretend that he's not wearing a suit, because he doesn't know he's wearing one anyway and he'd really rather you not point it out, because it makes his brain hurt. Anyway, uh, BLUE! GREEN! NEON!
"GREAT MUGS OF ROOT BEER, THAT'S NOT RIGHT! Y'know what, buddy? You can punch me, you can kick me, you can stab me, you can flambe me, you can dip me in acid, you can roll me in breadcrumbs and fry me up, you can bend me into a big L like a boomerang and throw me until I go all around the city and come back to you, you can shoot me with lasers until I'm full of holes like a great big ol' swiss cheese, you can add milk to me and see if I get soggy enough to...gosh, is it just me? Is it lunchtime? Boy, I'm hungry! But I'm also NOT THE RIGHT COLOR! That's right! That's what I call personal, pal. And when you get personal with the Tick, you're just asking for an intimate sit down interview with Justice! Just call me Barbara Walters, Mr. Fancypants, 'cause I'm about to make you cry!" he says, leaping into the air and preparing to try and bring both fists down on Mr. Nebula's head to drive him into the turf like a tent spike.
"Ugh!" Konomi ughs. "Doctor Awesome does not approve of all this breaking and punching and redecorating! Doctor Awesome is also not in the habit of referring to herself in third-person, but she is doing so right now because it's, like, JUST THAT IMPORTANT." Midi speeds its plastic-plated legs as Konomi grabs the controls and sends her robot running towards Mr. Neon. And the whole time she is TALKING. Maybe it's supposed to be monologuing or battle-bantering, but it realls just comes across more as CHATTERBOXING with barely any breathing at all!
"This one time, some booger was all, 'if you use robots but you only heal people, what happens if you have to fight and no one's there to protect you' or something. So I told him I could fight just fine with healing stuff, and he was all, 'Nuh-uh!' and I was all, 'Yes-huh!' and then he DARED me to find a way to fight people with healing only! You get it right? A dare, Alien-san. He DARED me! So that's when I got out some graph paper and started, like, sketching the design for the //Antidote Machinegun//."
As recolorations and punchifications and pleas for peace and magic water blasts and all the rest are happening, the Japanese teenager attempts to close with the intruder, and then raises a hand in the air dramatically, one finger extended towards the sky. "Well, this is, like, kind of not exactly the intended purpose of the Antidote Machinegun, but it's TOTALLY WHAT I'M USING IT FOR! FOR SERIOUS!" A panorama of bright lights glow around Konomi, thanks to the dramatic special effects devices she has built into her robot which are right now putting on a laser light show at her back, so that by comparison her face is shadowed and she is turned into a mere silhouette! And then she yells out in Japanese (because all special attacks sound cooler that way), "<<SECRET TECHNIQUE: TRANQUILIZER MACHINEGUN STORM!>>" Then she brings her finger down and presses a button. A pair of machineguns pop out of the sides of the robot and start rapid-firing syringes full of heavy-duty tranquilizer up into the air so that they may rain down upon Mr. Neon (and possibly other people, because Konomi didn't think this through). Then Konomi utters in her best gruff voice, "Fool! You are already sedated!"
She watched way too much anime when she was younger.
Some people learn martial arts or magic or how to punch things as a giant tick.
Then there's Konomi, who apparently shoots medicine at people.
"We do not need a bloody world that is as garish and unpleasant as Las Vegas." Zack says as he stretches a little bit and considers options on what h can do right now. "Shadows gather and weigh." Zack says his aura turning into a spotlight for anyone with the ability to sense magic, as he makes a gesture, the giant monstrosity of a designer's shadow is the target of the spell. Designed to spread the shadow over the man and weigh him down. Counter the plaid and neons, with pure and utter darkness.
Well Mr. Nebula is hit once again and medicated! He's not even sure if he should get medicated, but he thinks he should so he does! Which leaves him open to The Tick hammering at him from the top, and knocking him down to the ground again, oops there goes the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar part of Yankee Stadium. Thanks to Zack, Mr. Nebula is cloaked in shadow. But that is stopping the fighting for a little bit, as Nebula is totally out of it, and unable to do anything right now!
And then there is the Scarlet Skier, he is still playing with the dog. Maybe it's cause the dog reminds him of G'Nort, but the dog is actually smarter than G'Nort. But then his cosmic senses pick up what Zack has said, and he flies out to the guy, "What his this Las Vegas that you speak of?"
The rain of needles from the sky has Fern dodging to avoid getting hit, her formerly straight path now looking more like some new wedding reception dance. Always polite, she curses softly under her breath, narrowly avoiding being punctured as one strikes home into the bag she carries. "I swear, sometimes heroes can be more dangerous than villains," she says to absolutely no one. "I don't even know why I leave my apartment any more."
The Tick keeps on pounding, not taking Mr. Nebula's inaction as a sign to let up. He hasn't said Uncle yet! Not even Cousin! He alternates his fists, raining them down, the thought of collateral damage not really entering into his head as he bangs down on the giant alien, "I've been working on the raiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilroad, all the live long dayyyyyyyyy! I've been working on the railroad, and it made...me...love...JUSTICE!" he says, adding another double-fisted hammer to the whole thing, perfectly content to get Mr. Nebula completely knockedo ut. Of course, he seems kinda knocked out anyway. Maybe it has something to do with that Japanese girl yelling gibberish at him. Weird.
"It's a place here on Earth. It's around two thousand and some miles west of here and a bit south at the same time." Zack says as he hovers in place. He's been trying to avoid collateral damage. These things have to be done in a proper manner. He doesn't know why they seem interested in Las Vegas but the place seems to have gotten their interest. He uses magic to project an image of Las Vegas into the space between himself and the Scarlet Skier.
Konomi pulls up near the Tick and yells -- in English this time -- "Hey, guy! Hey! Hey, Muscle Man with the antennae! Hey! As a doctor I have to, like, TOTALLY insist that you stop hitting the unconscious alien! You're going to hurt him while he's knocked out like that from all those tranquilizer needles I just shot him up with! Like, knock it off!" Yes, she has just SO MUCH CONCERN for the giant alien. That's why she shot needles at him. Yeeeeep.
"Also, I think that the lady over there would be better off being protected by you since you're so tough, right!?" She points pointedly at Fern and the danger she is in from falling syringes -- which Konomi coincidentally put up there to begin with. Really, she's a doctor.
"It's a place here on Earth. It's around two thousand and some miles west of here and a bit south at the same time." Zack says as he hovers in place. He's been trying to avoid collateral damage. These things have to be done in a proper manner. He doesn't know why they seem interested in Las Vegas but the place seems to have gotten their interest. He uses magic to project an image of Las Vegas into the space between himself and the Scarlet Skier. "That's Las Vegas." He says simply,"A garish eyesore if you ask me but people seem to like it."
Mr. Nebula is still out of it, and not doing anything to the Tick because of that. Or maybe he's just pretending to be out of it, and letting the big guy get a false sense of security! Either way Tick is allowed to just hit him several times over and over again. But maybe Konomi will be able to talk him away from Mr. Nebula, that would be nice!
Scarlet Skier just looks at the projection of this Las Vegas, "The boss would totally love that place! He makes all of his planets look a lot like that. It's like you guys are honoring hm with that city."
Just when you think you're out of danger, there's a last missile from the sky. Fern's luck gives out as a falling syringe finds a home in her shoulder. "OW!" she protests the prick, and immediately pulls the offending projectile out. Too late, though. Whatever Konomi had in them wastes no time in coursing through Fern's system and she wobbles on her feet. "Oh darnit," she mumbles, letting the syringe drop. At least she's not the only one, as quite a few of the spectators have suffered the same fate, and have gone from cheering either the heroes or Mr. Nebula, to snoring quietly in their seats.
The Tick heeds Konomi's warning, laying off of his pummeling away at Mr. Nebula (although he does kick him, once more, just a quick stomping kicky stomp for emphasis! CHANGE MY COLOR, WILL YA, BUB?!?). "Egads, you're right, little Poppinjay of Science! I got so caught up in dishing out a hot, steaming cup of Justice Joe that I forgot that the cream in any good pot of Righteous Coffee is sweet, luscious innocence in need of rescue! OF course, Tick's far too late and he sees her crumple, the syringe falling from her hand, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sweet stranger, don't leave this mortal coil! Oh, you fiend, you ineffable fiend! Your color-changing wickedness has wrought a domino effect of bitter, bitter mortality!" He falls to his knees beside Fern, whom he's never met in his life, lifting her unconscious form and holding her over his head, 'TAKE ME INSTEAD, O SMITER! I AM THE RESPONSIBLE ONE! THE MANTLE OF JUSTICE RESTS ON MY BRAWNY AND WELL-FORMED SHOULDERS! DO NOT TAKE THIS INNOCENT, SWEET GIRL, THIS...er, gosh, I'm sorry, what was your name? Wait, are you snoring? HEY! YOu're not dead!" He drops Fern to the ground, standing up in triumph, 'SHE'S NOT DEAD! JUSTICE IS SERVED! TAKE THAT, BUTTERFLY EFFECT! SUCK IT, TAKE YOUR CHANCES! This one goes in the win column!' he says, jutting out a thumbs up with a big smile while standing over Fern's crumpled, crooked and very unconscious body.
Konomi would totally and absolutely have something weird or insightful or loud to say here, but about the time that the Tick is giving his speech about mortality, Konomi gets hit with one of her own syringes and takes a little nap on the back of her robot.
No, really. She's a real doctor.
Pointing his rapier at the Tick,"Become blue once more." Zack says trying to turn the hideously coloured hero back to his true blue form. He also repairs some of the damage the heroes have caused, even if he's starting to run on fumes. He really wishes he could figure a way to tap into the lines he sees properly so that he didn't use quite so much energy.
Well Mr. Nebula is now better and is able to use his phenomal cosmic power to disperse the shadows around him and allow him to rise to his feet. With that the Scarlet Skier flies over to his boss, "Boss, you have to see it, this planet, they have a city devoted to you. They call it Las Vegas!" Once he says the name, his cosmic skies project the image of said city.
And on seeing that Mr. Nebula actually sheds a tear of joy, "They love me here, they really do! Well it's plain to see my visit wasn't in vain, soon they will make the entire planet like this Las Vegas. Come Scarlet Skier, we shall leave them to their devices." And just like that, they are gone. Damage is still there, and any color that hasn't been set back to normal yet either. Plus there is a parting gift, Yankee Stadium is now paisley.
Category:Log