OOS 64

Korrinoth 1, after “rescuing” Renn, Cecily, and Julien from the Children of Similus and the attack on Izora by the Null Solution. It occurred between sessions 28 and 29. It is immediately preceded by OOS 62; OOS 65 occurs concurrently.
== Transcript ==
Ephemera:
But for real, Ephemera watches with concern as the children fall asleep.
Teer:
"They are... we are all going to be alright, aren't we?" Teer thinks to Ephy.
Ephemera:
"I hope so," Ephy says softly, almost like she isn't sure it's possible.
"............I wanna go scare the crap out of Renn's mother."
Teer:
Teer taps out of the wikipedia page he was looking at. "What is the plan?"
Veggrek:
Veggrek mumbles and rolls over in his blanket burrow.
Ephemera:
"So we weren't allowed to kill Noah. And maybe we shouldn't kill her mother. And maybe we shouldn't sic Akaros on her..."
"Do you think Akaros can... make a sort of shroud around you?"
"A Renn's Mother-shaped ghost cloak?"
Teer:
"Perhaps..."
"What are we planning to do about Renn's father? I believe they were sleeping in the same room."
Ephemera:
"Ah, good point. Hm."
"You could lie under the bed and reach up with the halberd and I can pretend to be some sort of dream monster telling her that she sucks. You can hide us both when she wakes up."
Teer:
"I don't know, I am not perhaps the most stealthy construct..."
"Well, I do have that Pass Without Trace scroll Concludion gave me. As well as the smoke bombs."
"...And Dolly."
Ephemera:
"Do you thi-- Hm, no. Hm."
Teer:
"Hm?"
Ephemera:
"For half a second - and I don't know why because this is never my first thought - but I considered perhaps, maybe asking Belxari? Maybe she could, I don't know, turn us invisible or something. It was dumb."
Teer:
Teer pauses. And he thinks.
'Dear Belxari. It's me, Teer. This is my first prayer, so I am not sure how they are supposed to go. Ephemera and I - that's the Halberd - are planning revenge on Renn's terrible mother. Nothing violent, just theatrics. We are trying to figure out how to get into her room, and wondered if you wanted in on this.'
'Um. Best regards, glory be to your name, Teer.'
[Don't.... ask me to make a wisdom check Gloom.... It's not good...]
Gloom:
[screw that this is her house]
Belxari:
There's a faint pop as Belxari appears, "Yeah I want in on this what's up?"
Ephemera:
"SHHHH!!! Tell her to shh."
Belxari:
<I know how to think quietly> Belxari says, being far smarter than the DM and remembering she can do that
Ephemera:
"We just got the kids to sleep and-- alright."
"Anyway... We, uh... We want to... Renn's mother is the worst and we would like to express that to her in a way that... I don't know, makes her internalize that? We tried it with Noah in Dunkelschwein, but I think Akaros just literally suffocated him there, and while it was fitting for him, it's a little much here."
She is 'speaking' very quickly and whispering despite decidedly not having to do so.
"Maybe it would be too much... Renn can't find out. And she's sharing a room. And Teer isn't stealthy. And I'm a halberd."
[she provides a brief summary of what they've discussed and the difficulties presented thus far]
Belxari:
<A subtle but important distinction to make> Belxari muses <Do you want her to be scared, or do you want to scare her?>
Ephemera:
"The former, but the latter would be very nice too."
"She's... she's not a good person. I'm beginning to think she's... broken Renn."
Belxari:
<Easy mode is the dream spell, or I can disguise you guys as something ghoulish... True Polymorph can technically affect an object but I'm not sure what would happen....>
Teer:
"It doesn't need to be us, but it would be a nice touch we put the fear of us into her for the future."
Ephemera:
"Something like 'you hurt your daughter, and we won't stand for that, you horrible person'?"
"I didn't actually think we'd get this far."
"Just some fun musing on ways to freak her out..." she trails off, apparently forgetting to mute her mic.
"A strongly-worded letter... oh, I need to write a letter..."
Teer:
"I can help with that later," says Teer. "For now, our resources are 3 smoke bombs, a scroll of pass without trace, a moving doll, a dragon ghost..."
Ephemera:
"A telepathic halberd?" Ephemera offers.
"But not too telepathic..."
Teer:
"I think the main concern is that Renn's father is also in the same room. If you could help us get Renn's mother alone, or so that only she will see us, that would be helpful."
Belxari:
<I could move one or both of them into a pocket dimension, or I could transport you directly into her dreamscape?>
<For that last one, If she wakes up, you will be violently ejected into the material plane, or perhaps the feywild, or perhaps somewhere else entirely>
Teer:
"That seems risky."
Ephemera:
"What if we just punched her in the nose and told her to back off."
Teer:
"That is a much more direct option. Could you put us in a pocket dimension where we can punch her in the nose?"
"Ephemera can use my body, both of us will get to experience it, it's win-win."
Ephemera:
"We don't actually know if I can do that."
Teer:
"What's the worst that could happen?"
Ephemera:
"She takes Renn back and refuses to let her travel with us anymore. Or Renn finds out and she decides not to travel with us anymore. I mean... Hm."
Teer:
"If Renn's mother tries to keep her here against her will, we simply rescue her."
Ephemera:
"You would risk Renn finding out?"
Belxari:
<I mean I definitely can.>
Ephemera:
"You can punch her in the nose for us?"
Teer:
Teer sighs, internally. "I don't know. I don't want to upset Renn, but her mother deserves it."
"I don't... think that she would be upset with me forever. I could handle her being cross with me for a while, I think."
Ephemera:
"What if we just--No, bad idea."
Teer:
"And I could take the blame. What?"
Ephemera:
"No, no, it's is legitimately not a good idea amid all these questionable ones."
She sighs. "This is all going to end being very hypothetical, and that is somewhat disheartening."
Teer:
"Why only hypothetical?"
Ephemera:
"We're not coming up with anything with risks that we're both willing to take."
Teer:
"...I don't have to take you with me."
Ephemera:
"I'm not letting you risk making Renn angry. I'm not dealing with that. I can't deal with that. You're the only one she likes."
Teer:
"Which is why it has to be me."
"I'm the only one who's judgement on this she might possibly trust. And - we're not going to aim to be found out."
"Belxari, you could heal a broken nose, correct?"
Veggrek:
Veggrek twitches an ear.
Belxari:
<Sure>
Teer:
Teer looks at Ephemera.
Ephemera:
"And if she finds out and decides to be angry at you, then nobody will be there to calm her down. She doesn't listen to me or Squire Veggrek."
"I literally cannot stop you if you decide to do this."
"Just... I guess, don't get caught."
"........................and maybe let me do the punching because I probably hit harder. Maybe. You do have stone fists..."
Teer:
"That was the plan. If you're coming with me."
Ephemera:
"Yeah, sorry, I was... talking myself into it. It's not a very good plan as is."
"Maybe just... claim you were hacked."
"By the ghost of Time...."
"........maybe blaming Akaros would be better if we're caught."
Akaros:
"Sure, I've got some credit with the 'attempted to save her life from Death', thing." Akaros whispers.
Ephemera:
"Oh, ah... Thank you for that... by the way."
Veggrek:
Veggrek cracks an eye open.
Teer:
Teer waves at Veg and acts casual, still holding the tablet.
Veggrek:
“Hey, guys.”
Teer:
"Hello, Veggrek."
Veggrek:
“How’re things?”
Teer:
"Things are fine. Just chatting. Are you having trouble sleeping? We can... think... quieter."
Veggrek:
“Can you?”
“No, it’s— I don’t know. It’s not your fault.”
Teer:
"Is there something on your mind?"
Veggrek:
“Plenty.”
Teer:
"...Would you like to talk about it?"
Veggrek:
“Are you bored?”
Teer:
"No, I am a robot."
"But I am here to listen, if you'd like."
Veggrek:
“No, don’t let me interrupt. I’ll just go back to sleep.”
“Thank you, though.”
Teer:
"Ah... my offer stands, but I hope you sleep well."
Veggrek:
“Thank you, Teer. Goodnight.”
Teer:
"Goodnight, Veggrek."
Teer waits a bit, before thinking, "Alright. When he's been asleep for a bit."
"Then, we'll do this?"
Ephemera:
"This is the worst idea, but we have nothing better. Can you help, Belxari?"
Xelbari:
Xelbari opens the door to the room, stopping as he sees everyone collected together.
"Hey sis," he says quietly.
Belxari:
"Hey, Xel," Belxari replies. "Shh."
Xelbari:
Xelbari looks around with shock offense. "I'll leave you to whatever this is. I just got finished with the guys." He steps up to Teer. "Maybe you should look after this." He deposits a silver mirror in the warforged's lap.
Belxari:
Belxari looks unsurprised as she sighs. <Anyway, yes, I can. Pop you all into a pocket dimension so you can sock her?>
Teer:
"???"
Veggrek:
“—Wait, was that...?”
Ephemera:
"Wh..."
Teer:
Teer stands up and goes to check the bedroom.
Presumably he would just see Lei in her bed.
Lei:
she pretends to be asleep but definitely sneaks a peek to see who came in
Xelbari:
Xelbari exchanges some thoughts with his sister, which end in a fist bump before he vanishes with a pop
Ephemera:
"Hey, is that one of those mirrors? I've been curious about those. Also, yes, I think that's the plan? Maybe make it seem like a very, very real dream? I don't know."
Teer:
Teer closes the door in confusion.
"Yes."
Veggrek:
Veggrek reaches out to touch Ephemera.
Teer:
Teer absentmindedly passes her over.
Veggrek:
’What is going on? Is that Belxari?’
Ephemera:
"Ah, yes, it is. We're having a quick discussion about something. I'm.... not sure what Xelbari was doing in Lei's room?"
Teer:
Teer tucks the mirror into his bag.
Belxari:
<Hello Veggrek> Belxari thinks at him. <Whenever you're ready to go, then> She thinks to Not-Veggrek.>
Ephemera:
Ephemera says nothing. She's dependent on Teer for this.
Veggrek:
’Um— Hello, Belxari. Glory be.’
Teer:
["I'm ready to go but I don't want to freak out Veggrek."] Teer thinks to Belxari.
Belxari:
<Sure.> To Veggrek: <How are you doing, Veggrek?>
Veggrek:
’I’m fine.’
Ephemera:
To Belxari, "It's been a stressful day. Maybe you shouldn't keep him up long... Unless you had something in particular to say now..."
Belxari:
<No, not for the moment> She sighs <Sleep well, Veggrek>
Veggrek:
’Thank you, my lady. Your kindness honors me.’
Ephemera:
To Belxari, "Thank you...."
Belxari:
She picks him up and deposits him back in his pillow pile, and wraps a blanket around the whole thing, and then pats him on the head.
Veggrek:
Veggrek’s eyes get very wide. He doesn’t breathe.
Teer:
Teer gently takes back Ephemera.
"Well. I'm going to step out for a bit, so the light from the tablet doesn't bother you."
Veggrek:
“Oh, what are you doing?”
Teer:
"I'm researching asteroids."
Veggrek:
“The light doesn’t bother me. I sleep with my eyes closed.”
Teer:
Teer gestures to the other two people in the room.
"Or them."
Veggrek:
“...Should I leave?”
Teer:
"...No, what?"
Ephemera:
"Oh my word."
Teer:
"Nevermind." says Teer, pinching his mask. "Just try to get some sleep." He returns to his seat, and keeps the tablet off.
Veggrek:
Veggrek considers getting up. It feels blasphemous and ungrateful to disturb Belxari’s work, though.
Instead he cracks an eye open and perks an ear toward Cecily and Julien to watch for any sign of discomfort.
Gloom:
Cecily is snoring softly, and Julien seems similarly unconcious
Teer:
"Maybe you should come back later in the night," Teer thinks to Belxari. "I should help Ephemera write this letter anyway."
Belxari:
<Sure thing, I'll be around.> Belxari says before poofing out of existence
Veggrek:
Veggrek waves a hand for Ephemera.
Teer:
Teer hands her over and then works on getting out his stationary.
Veggrek:
He leans her against the pile and wraps her in the blanket with him, and asks, ‘Why was Belxari here?’
Ephemera:
"We were discussing some potential plans. None of them are good."
Veggrek:
’Oh.’
’One thing at a time, I suppose.’
Ephemera:
"I suppose so."
Veggrek:
’You sure you don’t want me to go rogue and start shouting on street corners about the end of the world?’
Ephemera:
"I am reasonably certain. Perhaps if all of the other plans fail we can do that."
Veggrek:
’Mm.’
Veggrek tries to put Ephemera’s bladed end within arm’s reach of Teer.
Ephemera:
"Toot night, Squire Veggrek."
Veggrek:
’Toot night, Ephemera.’
’Thank you.’
Teer:
Teer accepts Ephemera with a nod.
"Now, you said that you needed to write a letter?" he asks her.
Ephemera:
"Ah, yes, I... I would like to."
Teer:
"I could help if you'd like. Or if you'd rather you can wait until you're back in Kiono's body."
Ephemera:
"Ah, I'm not in a hurry to write it, I suppose. If you have nothing else you want to do right now, I would accept the help. You don't have to..."
Veggrek:
’Oh, I would be happy to help, while Teer learns about asteroids.’
Ephemera:
"Squire Veggrek, you should sleep. It's very late."
Veggrek:
’I know. I think doing something like that might help.’
Teer:
"If you think it will help." Teer hands him some stationary.
Teer can be patient.
Ephemera:
"Ah, alright."
Veggrek:
Veggrek repositions himself in the pillow pile, propping up a paper, and rests his left hand on Ephemera.
‘Okay. What can I do to help?’
Ephemera:
"Well, just... dictation really. If that's alright."
Veggrek:
’Perfectly.’
Ephemera:
[She will begin dictating the letter she wants to write, but in just the most intentionally ASMR manner she can muster.]
Gloom:
[Wisdom save, Veg.]
Veggrek:
[CRIT FAIL! 9 total]
Gloom:
[Veggrek begins to drift off in the dictation... and is soon back asleep]
Veggrek:
He tries very, very hard to stay focused, but eventually the pen falls from his hand as he slumps over, unconscious.
Ephemera:
Ephemera is pleased and waits for Teer to retrieve her.
Please retrieve her.
She wants to punch someone's mother.
Teer:
Teer picks her up. 'Alright. We're ready.'
Ephemera:
"Let's get out of here before we wake anyone else up."
Gloom:
You hear a delighted, cheerful laughter ring through your heads as you feel the floor pitch beneath you. Your perception of the world blurs as you are flung into an extradimensional space.
The space is dark and shadowy, with swirling fog blanketing an unseen floor.
A humanoid form rests on a large four-poster bed, alone beneath the luxurious blankets, dark curls spilling out across the bedding.
[Make dexterity saving throws]
Teer:
[20]
Ephemera:
[?? 18 ????]
Gloom:
Teer lands noiselessly in the dark. He is used to looking up at Kiono and down at most of the rest of the world, but he is surprised to be at eye level with the chest of the woman next to him.
And perhaps the sheer height of the towering, muscular woman that lands next to him is the least shocking thing in the circumstance as Ephy draws unneeded breath with her own lungs, and feels the chill of the room on her own skin, in a body that does hasn't existed in three thousand years, and still does not quite exist except in spaces like these.
Ephemera:
Ephemera looks at her hands, then at the rest of her, then down - more down than normal - at Teer.
She starts giggling uncontrollably.
Teer:
Teer takes a step back, nearly falling over.
He looks around frantically for the halberd.
"Ah..."
"Who...?"
Ephemera:
Ephemera does a twirl, a hop, just anything she can think of to move.
Gloom:
Her joy is underscored perhaps somewhat by the deep, rumbling breathing of the colossal dragon curled lazily and meanderingly at the periphery of their senses. Six violet slits look down at Teer in amusement. 
Ephemera:
She looks at Teer and then grins at him. Then up at the dragon.
Teer:
Teer stares up in shock.
"A-Ah..."
Ephemera:
Then she grabs Teer by the shoulders, then transitions into a hug.
Gloom:
With a snart, Adrienne Worthing begins to stir.
Teer:
Teer comes to understand the situation, slowly. "Oh. Oh!"
Ephemera:
"Well, I get to punch her on my own, it seems. But we definitely didn't actually decide what we were doing before and after that."
Akaros:
"Oh, this is just like where I went with Bunraku." Akaros speaks like rolling thunder.
Ephemera:
She has the biggest grin on her face. It will not leave. It's a bit odd-looking compared to the hushed whisper of her voice.
"Oh, Bunraku does this too? Hm."
"Ah, but later. We have a changeling bitch to punch."
Teer:
Teer keeps looking back and forth from Ephemera to Akaros, two people who he has always heard but never seen. 
Adrienne:
Mama Renn sits up, the blanket slipping off her shoulder. She wears an expensive looking black silk nightgown, covering her pale, changeling flesh. Her black hair hangs over too-big eyes, which attempt to blink away the sleep.
Ephemera:
Ephemera looks at Mama Renn, then at Teer, then up to Akaros. Then she grins and looks back to Mama Renn and begins to walk over to her. She swings her arms a bit too much, stretching as she walks. Once she is a few feet from the bed, she stops and crosses her arms. In a too-pleasant voice she says, "Good evening, Adrienne Worthing."
Adrienne:
Still not entirely comprehending, Adrienne looks up at Ephemera "Who...?"
Her eyes narrow and she looks frantically around as her current reality comes into focus. She backs away from the edge of the bed as far from Ephemera as she can 
"Who are you? Where have you taken me? You have made a grave mistake!"
Ephemera:
TFW Time is being intentionally off-putting.
"Oh, it is not I who have made the mistake. Your actions of late have been... displeasing. To be entirely frank with you, your treatment of your daughter has... how should I put this..." She cracks her knuckles. "Angered me immensely." 
Gloom:
[Intimidation check with advantage]
Ephemera:
[18]
Adrienne:
Adrienne's eyes widen, not entirely comprehending. She whimpers involuntarily and backs further away.
She doesn't see the tip of the tail that snakes around the foot of the bed and spins it violently around so that she is within easy reach of Ephemera once more.
Ephemera:
Ephemera places a hand not entirely ungently on Adrienne's shoulder, holding her in place. She leans down, her face just a little too close to Adrienne's. She is still smiling, but it is now entirely unsettling. 
"I rather like your daughter. And you have done some very... unsavory things to her. Put her in positions no sane person would allow their daughter to be in. And you put her there intentionally." She clicks her tongue disapprovingly and wags a finger at her'using her free hand.
Adrienne:
"What I decide for my daughter is none of your business." Adrienne hisses with more confidence than is evidenced by her trembling.
Ephemera:
"Whether you care about my opinion or not is ultimately irrelevant. See, it is your daughter's business, and therefore, it is. My business. Your behavior, dear Adrienne, is incredibly. unacceptable."
And then she punches her in the nose I sure hope.
[hi that's a nat 20]
Gloom:
There is a wet crack as blood fountains from the changeling's very broken nose as she cries out in pain immediately before passing out from shock.
Teer:
"O-Oh dear."
Akaros:
"And this is where I eat her?" Akaros rumbles, standing
Ephemera:
Ephy directs the unconscious changeling's form toward the bed with her right hand, shaking her punching hand and then flexing it. "I don't think we paid for a Resurrection, Akaros."
She looks at Teer apologetically. "Sorry. I, uh, got a little excited."
Teer:
"It's.... fine." Teer forces himself to look away from Adrienne and up at Ephy. "I'm sorry, you... are Ephemera, correct?"
Akaros:
Akaros lies back down, somewhat dejected. The tip of his tail thwapping on the ground agitatedly.
Belxari:
Belxari appears, grinning "Well that was something. Should probably heal her before she drowns on her own blood..." A quick word and Adrienne's wet gurgling becomes light snoring.
Ephemera:
She looks down at herself, then back at Teer, grinning happily again. "Yeah! This, uh. This is... me."
She looks at Belxari. "Um, thanks. I... this might have just made me feel better more than anything, but.... thanks."
Teer:
"I guess that's it then."
Ephemera:
Ephemera's smile slips just a hair.
Belxari:
"Yeah not really sure how that happened,"Belxari says, waving at Ephemera's all of her, "but hey, that's cool." her smile is not without a twinge of sympathy.
Ephemera:
Ephy shrugs and says with a much casual calmness as she can muster, "Eh, it's fine. We accomplished our task. That's the important thing."
Teer:
"We could - stay. For a while."
"To see if she wakes up again."
Ephemera:
"You want a chance to punch her?" Ephy chuckles.
Belxari:
"Well alright. Back to reality then." Belxari looks up a little unsteadily at Akaros, who stretches lazily outward and flexes enormous scythe-like claws.
She looks back at Ephy and Teer. "Whenever you're ready."
Teer:
Teer doesn't answer. He wanders over to the bed and looks down at the unconscious changeling.
Ephemera:
Ephemera watches silently, but she's also unconsciously doing things like flexing various muscles, remembering what this form felt like.
Gloom:
She is very unconscious
Teer:
"I wonder if she'll regret what she did. I wonder if it'll change anything."
Ephemera:
"I doubt it," Ephemera admits.
"She'll probably just assume it was a bad dream. Think nothing of it and forget about it shortly after waking up."
Belxari:
"The blood in the sheets might give her pause, but who knows." Belxari adds.
Ephemera:
Ephemera stares at the bed and changeling, then looks at Belxari. "Where's Renn's dad?"
Belxari:
"Still on the floor on like seven pillows where I found him, drooling on all of the spare sheets from the linen closet."
Ephemera:
"He did seem excited about the sheets..."
Belxari:
"Pretty sure we stole them from his house."
Teer:
Teer looks up at the others, and something seems to occur to him. He unbuttons his vest and rolls up the shirt to check his roots.
Gloom:
Hearty, healthy, and whole.
Teer:
He takes off a glove and runs his fingers along the vine.
Ephemera:
Ephemera watches, then looks up at Akaros, then down at her hands.
Teer:
"I can... feel that. I forgot what that was like."
Ephemera:
She sits on the ground with a sigh.
Akaros:
"It's nice," Akaros rumbles "but we should get you the real thing."
Teer:
Teer looks up at Akaros, and stares for a moment.
"You too."
"...Both of you."
Ephemera:
Ephemera curls in on herself a little. She whispers, "Yeah.."
Akaros:
"Fine. We're the get-body-back club. Dibs on Al."
Ephemera:
Ephemera shoots Akaros a glare. "Teer is Ed. Who does that leave for me?"
Akaros:
Akaros seems contemplative "Barry?"
Teer:
"I'm confused. Who are we talking about?"
Ephemera:
Ephy frowns.
"Do you have the thing from Andy on you?"
Teer:
"Er, yes." Teer digs out the tablet.
Ephemera:
She has no idea what she's doing, but dang it if she isn't hoping FMA:B is on this dang thing and that she can find it.
Starts with Wiki and moves on from there.
Gloom:
[Roll an investigation check]
Ephemera:
[21]
Gloom:
[you find the good stuff.]
Ephemera:
We binge FMA:B for the rest of the night.
Belxari get us popcorn.
A lot because Akaros is large.
And Ephy is excited to have a body of her own.
Teer:
Teer is confused, but goes along with it, still sort of in a daze from processing everything that just happened. That is currently happening.
He's not sure why they're watching the moving art but Ephemera seems happy.
Belxari:
Belxari banishes Renn's mother back to the material plane, and watches the anime with the kids.
Conjuring appropriate amounts of popcorn.
Ephemera:
Ephemera is just trying to have a moment of happiness in this chaos that has become her life. Maybe we're succeeding. Who knows.
At some point! Just before they return! Ephemera gives Teer another hug! Intentionally timed! So he can't respond properly!
Belxari:
Belxari stops the show and coaxes Teer and Ephy up from lying against Akaros' scaly belly before they get too engrossed in it (too late it's good) and before they are missed from the material plane.
Akaros:
Akaros yawns and stretches again, much like the cat he had pretended to be earlier when he was not needed to drive Teer's movements. He sits patiently and awaits their departure.
Belxari:
Belxari smiles and the fog dissipates. And as the temporary space dissolves, Ephemera embraces Teer in a sudden and unexpected hug, folding the robot into her powerful arms. Before he can think to return it, they are back in the guest bedroom at the Burnett estate, and the feeling of warmth from the former goddess' embrace upon his roots is just a rapidly fading...
ephemeral...
memory.
Category:OOS