愛障 (Aishou)

==Lyrics==
Japanese 	Romaji 	English
好き嫌いの間を行き来して 	suki kirai no aida o ikiki shite 	As I go back and forth between love and hate,
覗いた未来の向こう側 	nozoita mirai no mukougawa 	I know that you’re definitely not there
そこにきっと君はいないよ 	soko ni kitto kimi wa inai yo 	on the other side of the future visible to me.
もう分かりきってて 	mou wakari kittete 	I already know that so well, and yet…
一度壊れたら元には戻らないことだって 	ichido kowaretara moto ni wa modoranai koto da tte 	Even though I’ve vaguely realized
薄々感付いてたはずなのに 	usuusu kanzsuiteta hazu nanoni 	that once it’s broken, it can’t ever go back to the way it was before,
なのに、どうして 	nanoni, doushite 	why is it
「もしかしたら」なんて期待を持ってしまうんだろう 	“moshikashitara” nante kitai o motte shimaun darou 	that I still can’t help getting my hopes up with all kinds of what-ifs.
あーあ、馬鹿みたいだ 	aaa, baka mitai da 	Aah, I’m such a fool.
 	 	
いっそこのまんま僕の身体ごと 	isso kono manma boku no karadagoto 	If things must go on like this, you might as well
ミキサーにかけてぐちゃぐちゃにしてよ 	mikisaa ni kakete guchagucha ni shite yo 	put me in a blender and break me into pieces.
痛さにいちいち苦しむくらいなら 	itasa ni ichiichi kurushimu kurai nara 	If I must suffer with every single little pain,
終わってしまいたいよ 	owatte shimaitai yo 	I’d just rather be done with all this.
 	 	
ああ苦しいのに、 	aa kurushii noni, 	Even when it’s so painful;
もういっぱいいっぱいなのに、 	mou ippai ippai nanoni, 	even when it’s already gotten too much for me,
作り笑いできてしまう 	tsukuriwarai dekite shimau 	I still can’t help forcing myself to smile.
ああこんなボクが 	aa konna boku ga 	I hate myself so much
嫌いでたまらないよ 	kirai de tamaranai yo 	for being like this.
早く早くこの息の根を止めてくれよ 	hayaku hayaku kono iki no ne o tomete kure yo 	I wish you’d put me out of my misery already.
ああ愛しいのに 	aa itoshii noni 	I love you so,
もうボクのモノじゃないのに、 	mou boku no mono janai noni, 	and even though you’re no longer mine,
好きで好きでいてしまう 	suki de suki de ite shimau 	I still can’t help being in love with you.
ああこんなボクを 	aa konna boku o 	Is it because I’m like this
君は嫌いでしたか？なんて 	kimi wa kirai deshita ka? nante 	that you got sick of me?
答えが返ってくるはず無いのにな 	kotae ga kaette kuru hazu nai noni na 	But then I know I can’t possibly get an answer for that.
 	 	
ありったけの平然装って 	arittake no heizen yosootte 	It’s actually possible for me
何も無かったかのように 	nanimo nakatta ka no you ni 	to muster all of the composure I have
意外と振舞えてしまうから 	igai to furumaete shimau kara 	and pretend as if it wasn’t any big deal.
とんだ大嘘つきさ 	tonda oousotsuki sa 	I’m such a big liar.
飽きもせず何度も何度も 	aki mo sezu nandomo nandomo 	I keep asking myself, over and over again:
「あの時どうして」って 	“ano toki doushite” tte 	“Why did I do that back then?” and so on.
一人になる度自問自答しちゃイライラして 	hitori ni naru tabi jimon jitou shicha iraira shite	Whenever alone, I’d wonder to myself like that, and I’d get annoyed with myself.
「ほんと使えない人間だな、 	“honto tsukaenai ningen da na, 	“I’m seriously so
ボクというヤツは」で 	boku to iu yatsu wa” de 	useless,” I’d think—
終われたら苦労しないさ 	owaretara kurou shinai sa 	but how much easier would it be if that were the end of it.
 	 	
綺麗なまま残っている 	kirei na mama nokotte iru 	Just put all of the memories I have with you
ボクの頭の中の君との記憶も 	boku no atama no naka no kimi to no kioku mo 	into a blender, while they still remain beautiful,
ミキサーにかけてぐちゃぐちゃにしてよ 	mikisaa ni kakete guchagucha ni shite yo 	and break them into pieces,
忘れてしまいたいよ 	wasurete shimaitai yo 	for I want to forget everything.
 	 	
ああ苦しいのに、 	aa kurushii noni, 	Even when it’s so painful;
もういっぱいいっぱいなのに、 	mou ippai ippai nanoni, 	even when it’s already gotten too much for me,
君を君を呼んでしまう 	kimi o kimi o yonde shimau 	I still can’t help calling out to you.
ああ弱い心 	aa yowai kokoro 	Oh, how I hate my heart
憎くてたまらないよ 	nikukute tamaranai yo 	for being so weak.
いっそその手で握りつぶしてくれればいいよ 	isso sono te de nigiritsubushite kurereba ii yo 	You might as well crush the life out of it with your own hands.
ああ五月蝿いのに、 	aa urusai noni, 	That sound is so loud,
耳障りなのに、 	mimizawari nanoni, 	it grates on my ears,
あの時と同じ鼓動 	ano toki to onaji kodou 	yet I wish my heart could race
ああ感じたくて 	aa kanjitakute 	in the same way it did back then.
欲しがってしまうよ 	hoshigatte shimau yo 	I can’t help yearning for it,
目の前がぱらぱら音もなく崩れる 	me no mae ga parapara oto mo naku kuzureru 	even when my whole world is silently crumbling before my eyes.
 	 	
愛しき君を消し去れば 	itoshiki kimi o keshisareba 	If I were to erase you, my love,
ボクは幸せになれるかな？ 	boku wa shiawase ni nareru kana? 	would I finally be happy then?
 	 	
ああ苦しいのに、 	aa kurushii noni, 	Even when it’s so painful;
もういっぱいいっぱいなのに、 	mou ippai ippai nanoni, 	even when it’s already gotten too much for me,
今も今も鮮明に 	ima mo ima mo senmei ni 	I can still vividly recall to my mind
ああ君の声を、 	aa kimi no koe o, 	the sound of your voice,
思い出せるんだよ 	omoidaserun da yo 	even after all this time—
もうボクの名前を呼ばない君の声を 	mou boku no namae o yobanai kimi no koe o 	the voice that will never call my name again.
ああ痛いだろうに、 	aa itai darou ni, 	It hurts so much,
なんせ馬鹿なボクは、 	nanse baka na boku wa, 	yet I’m just such a fool
君を君を愛してる 	kimi o kimi o aishiteru 	that I can’t help loving you.
望みなんてなくて分かりきっていても 	nozomi nante nakute wakari kitte ite mo 	Even when I fully know that there’s no hope for me,
こうしているしか能の無いボクのようで 	kou shite iru shika nou no nai boku no you de 	I’m apparently such an incompetent fool that this is all I can do.
==External Links==
*Hazuki no Yume
*
Category:Songs
Category:Japanese songs
Category:VOCALOID original songs
Category:Songs featuring VY1
Category:Hidarigawa Slash songs list