The Death of Nummie Gigglepie

Author: Nummie
Nummie Gigglepie, the most evil conqueror-to-be to ever come to this or any other world, cackled maniacally as she entered the Stormwind Cathedral again and again, her pink ponytails bouncing and her pert nose waving in the air, making Brother Sarno greet her repeatedly. 
"Mwa-hahahaha! The delicious, delicious evil!" She chortled. Nummie was a young Gnome, and her adorable appearance completely belied the depths of corruption and maliciousness that she was thoroughly convinced stemmed from the pit of her soul. 
From the corner of her eye she caught sight of a Dwarf, going about business of some sort or another. "YOU!" She declared, pointing at him. "Fear my wrath!"
The Dwarf blinked at her for a moment. "Uhh...no?"
Nummie's blue-eyed gazed fixed on him, her face twisting with petulance. "NO?? I am the future ruler of all Azeroth! When I have enslaved this entire world, you will BEG me to fear my wrath! Now bow before me and become my minion!"
As the two of them bickered a taller figure entered the Cathedral, dark-haired and outfitted in heavy armor that for some reason did not protect her midriff at all. Behind her a shield spouted a constant plume of flame. Chiseta raised an eyebrow as she watched the two of them argue.
The Dwarf waved at Nummie dismissively. "Ah'll tell ye wha', lass, when ye've retaken Gnomeregan ge' back to meh, all righ'?"
Nummie grew very still, one eye twitching. "You...you are not even ALLOWED to SAY that WORD!"
"Wha'...Gnomeregan?" The Dwarf asked, puzzled.
"THAT'S IT! YEEEAAAGGH!" Nummie screeched, launching herself at him, giving him a vicious poke in the shin with her dagger.
"Hey...HEY!" Chiseta said, swiftly moving to intercept the furious Gnome, pulling her back by the back of her robe. Nummie continued to flail ineffectively for a few moments until she finally went limp in Chiseta's grasp, wiping at her eyes, trying to hide her face.
"You don't know what it was like in Gnomeregan..." She said blankly, her mind helpfully supplying her with a replay of the images she'd seen. She'd been a little Gnome girl like any other little girl - playful, cheerful, mostly concerned with cats and cookies. She'd had friends, she'd studied at her parents' feet to learn the Gigglepie trade of Engineering. 
And then...the Incident. Everyone running, screaming. Smoke everywhere. Blood splattering almost every surface. Friends and family falling before the Troggs, falling before her eyes, every second of it being burned into her mind. Her mother and father running with her, tugging at her, finally getting her to the Lift with an army of Troggs right behind them. 
In her mind she saw herself, screaming and reaching out to them as she was carried up, watched them be dragged into a moving mass of snarling bodies. Torn apart. 
She closed her eyes now, as she'd been unable to close her eyes then. This could not be allowed to happen again. Someone had to stop it. SHE had to stop it. She would become the biggest, baddest, most EVIL force in all of Azeroth and conquer it with an iron fist, enslaving the entire population. 
And then, when she controlled every aspect of every living thing in the world's life, nothing like Gnomeregan would ever happen again.
"Bah!" She said, shrugging out of Chiseta's grasp. "How DARE you lay a hand on NUMMIE GIGGLEPIE??"
Chiseta blinked at her as she wandered away down the corridor, to a staircase leading down. "Hmm, wonder what's down here...?"
Descending into the crypt below the Cathedral, Nummie giggled with maniac glee. "How delightfully sinister-looking! This would make a MUCH better base of operations than that stupid TAVERN!"
Suddenly there was a movement in front of her. She made a mouselike squeak of alarm, and then, collecting her composure, peered into the dark. There was a man standing there. Older, white-haired, dressed in fancy robes. Strangely fancy to be hanging out in a crypt like some kind of freaky ghoul. 
"Hey!" Nummie shouted, rage quickly overtaking her fear. "Clear out! I'm taking over this place!"
An unsettling smirk came over the man's face. "I've been waiting for you...Nummie..." He said with an exaggerated bow. Something about his manner made her take a step back, her overwhelming confidence faltering. Like a flash his hand shot out, grasping her around the neck, lifting her easily and slamming her into the empty coffin he was standing next to.
Her mind spun, trying to figure out how she'd crossed this PARTICULAR man. A lot of people hated her on general principle, foolishly believing themselves defenders of the world against people like her who sought to conquer it. A lot of other people hated her because of her personal attempts to make them bow to her will. There had been many attempts on her life before, but none of them were like this. Panic started to well from the pit of her stomach.
In the doorway, another man appeared. Tall, lithe, red hair drawn back in a ponytail, he had a haunted look to his eyes. Behind him was Chiseta, the Paladin from upstairs, clearly following to find out what was going on.
"Cromwell," Jamie Redshaw said, his eyes moving from Nummie in the coffin back to the man. "Wha's goin' on here?"
"You can't...defeat...Nummie Gigglepie!" Nummie gasped as she struggled to pull Cromwell's hand off her throat. His grip tightened and her eyes watered.
"This is it, the final part of your duty to me," Cromwell said, a cold fire in his eyes as he transfixed Jamie with his gaze. "Kill her."
Nummie's eyes went wide. Jamie looked like he was going to be ill. Behind him, Chiseta gasped and doubled over from some kind of outside forces. Cromwell's eyes remained unchanged, his face unmoving.
"This...ah can't..." Jamie said, all remaining color draining from his features.
"You MUST," Cromwell hissed. "To save Tybilt's life, to save your own life, to save RHYNE'S life this must be done. The third heart. The heart of an innocent girl..."
Nummie gazed up at Jamie, at Chiseta pleadingly, all of her confidence gone, tears streaming down her face. This was REAL. This was HAPPENING. This wasn't idle threats and taunting words, this wasn't promises to conquer and enslave.
This was Gnomeregan.
His face contorted with resistance and grief, Jamie removed his dagger and held it high above Nummie. She couldn't take her eyes away from the silvery glint of the dagger. An eternity passed with them frozen like this, locked in a tableu of murder.
And then Cromwell decided it for him. Grabbing his hand, he forced the blade across Nummie's throat.
She gasped, or tried to. Her neck was warm. Cromwell at last released his grasp and her eyes rolled, eyelids fluttering as she tried to hold on to consciousness. 
And then...
A light. It was warm and inviting, and smelled like baking cookies. She drifted closer to it and made out shapes, hundreds and hundreds of shapes gathered against the backdrop of an entrance. The entrance to a shining city, filled with gadgets and an inquisitive people, smiling and waiting for her.
In front of them all was a Gnome with lightning-blue hair, grinning. He held out a hand to her.
"Jen...zi..." she whispered, reaching out, and then let go.
Familiar faces gathered around her, welcoming her back. Her mother and father, beaming at her proudly. A Gnomish boy she'd known from across the way, ginger-tufted hair and always with ink stains on his hands. His impish sister, always a knife at the ready. And Jenchenzi, standing by her side at last.
Smiling, she entered the city with them. The city of Gnomeregan.
== ==
At the same time, in another place...
Nummie Gigglepie dropped to her knees, blinking. Something had happened. 
Ever since she'd gone to the Gnomish inventor and scientist Thunk Rinklewrench to learn how to traverse worlds in search of the errant soul of the deceased Jenchenzi, she'd felt odd. Less, somehow. She'd nearly killed him for performing the failed experiment that was supposed to send her essence to the universe that he'd labeled "TB" from the one they were in, that he called "KT". He had frantically tried to explain that her basic essence had transferred but that she herself would remain there, but she was having none of it. He would fear her wrath!
But now...something felt odd. Wrong. Something had happened, and she couldn't put her finger on what. She shook her head and her pink ponytails bobbed. It didn't matter. She had business to attend to...
EVIL business!
With a cackle she strode down the lane. Perhaps someday she'd look up Thunk again and force him to repeat his experiment. But for now...the world awaited her!
And it would FEAR HER WRATH!
Category:Stories