Jump

Jump is a cool move invented by 𝄞 in -1999 when he was in the Iwatodai Dorm. He ate a triple brown McDonald's shook and gained weird jumping powers. He taught humans how to jump for $12 each (not accounting for UnFlation). You can jump only because someone paid that fee.
The most famous jumper, besides a turtleneck, is Super Mario, who has the world record at just over 300. Not only that, he can jump up super high into the sky. The second-most famous jumper is the turtleneck.
==Epic Jump==
The Epic Jump, only known to legends such as Starman XD, Frollo, is a jump you can do if your UnRank is OVER 99999999999999999. When you Epic Jump, you leave a giant crater in the ground and losers who see it instantly DIE, like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. If you do an Epic Jump in an apartment complex, your neighbors will kill you (and fail). Spiders have learned to do the Epic Jump.
==No-Jumping Areas==
In places controlled by J.K. Rowling, you can't jump, because they don't want Celeste having fun. She convinced the Unicode Consortium to even add a 🚭 emoji. Many bad guys have tried killing J.K. Rowling for exclusive control over No-Jumping areas, but they can't make it to her room because you have to jump to get to it. For this, many public parks are now No-Jumping areas
== Trivia==
*The UnUnited States has a federal-level tax on each jump, leap, and bound a person makes. This is why Mario and Luigi fled to the Mushroom Kingdom.
*Many hospitals overcharge for the Jumping Baby Plan, which is why parents usually wait until they can consult 𝄞.
*Captain Toad was born with a genetic disorder that makes him not able to jump.
*Jumping is a fundamental human right.
*Many good guys jump.