The Petals

==Number One Handsome Boy==
::
:: Psst! I need to talk to you about the pants.
:: Well, come closer, then.
:: No, thanks. I don't want to get contaminated by your buffoonery.
::
:: What's wrong with my pants?
:: Dude, it looks like a gnome is carrying you on his shoulders.
:: Look who's talking. Have you seen your sandals?
::
:: You look like you're about to walk on water.
:: Well, you look like you prolapsed your whole digestive system!
:: You look like a Visigoth tourist!
:: You look like you're wearing the back-end of a horse costume!
:: Yeah, well you look like this!
::
:: Hey, dude, only one guy can judge me. Leslie! If there was a fashion police, he'd be the town sheriff, only more fabulous.
:: Are you pointing at that broken accordion on a pile of trash?
::
:: Sorry, it's hard to tell what's what since his high-fashion phase.
::
:: Uh, head shot, body shot
:Paparazzi, twist and bop
:Uh, head shot, body shot
:Looking sexy, turn and smile
:Catwalk beauty, catwalk beauty
:Beauty, fashion
::
:: Yeah, fair enough. Where is he, though?
:: Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in weeks. Wait, what is that?
::
:: Hmm, petals. It's a clue.
:: What do you mean?
:: Think about it— what has petals? Flowers. What is made of flour? Bread. Who eats bread? Everyone, apart from people who can't eat gluten. Who doesn't eat gluten? People on a made-up diet. What kind of people are usually on fad diets? Drama queens. Who are usually drama queens? Actors. And what do actors do in real life? They work as waiters in the food industry. And where do they lie about not working in the food industry? In their dressing rooms.
::
:: Huh! You were right!
:: You said that like it was a surprise. Hey dude, could you help us decide on which one of us looks worse?
::
:: Question answered!
:: Dude, what in the ever-loving what happened to your face?!
:​​​: My beauty... it's fading.
:: It's not that bad. I mean, if I just squint— Oh wait, no, that's still pretty bad. But if just — no, that's— that's not great, either. But if I just... See? That's better.
:: You see, true beauty is found on the inside. Your personality.
:​​​: Good-looking people don't need a personality! Personalities were invented by ugly people to make up for what they lack on the outside!
:: But you can't spell "beautiful" without "B-U."
:​​​: And you can't spell "hideous" without "hide" which is what I'm doing! 
:: Don't worry. We'll help you get pretty again.
:​​​: Thank you. Hmmph! 
:: Sorry. It's just... your face!
:: Let's start with accessories. Hopefully it will distract from the... everything.
:​​​: Is that why you carry Darwin everywhere you go? Mm-mm!
:: You know, when you're pretty and you say something mean, people think you're sassy. But with a face like that, people think you're sasquatch. Now come on. Accessorize.
::
:: Ugh. It looks like the ugly tree and the Christmas tree had a baby and let him dress itself for school. So, yeah! Definitely an improvement.
::
:: Look, he's speechless.
::
:: Wow! He fainted from happiness!
:: Now he's having spasms of satisfaction!
::
:: Uh, Leslie? Is something wrong? 
:​​​: I can't.. photosynthesize...
:: Is that when you store all your photos in a cloud or...
:​​​: I can't breathe!
:: Quick! Give him CPR!
:: Uh, okay o—
::
:: Ugh, I can't, he's so ugly. 
::
:​​​: Who told you... to stop...
:: Nononono— NOOOOOOOO—
==The Cheerleader Effect==
::
:: Okay, so you know about the Cheerleader Effect, right?
:​​​: What's that?
:: It's an optical mind trick. When girls hang out in groups, they look prettier.
:, and : Go Elmore, Go!
::
:: Come on, let's try it. Hey Penny!
:: Yeah?
:: How do we look? 
:: Ah, you're going for the Cheerleader Effect right?
:: Yes.
:: Sorry, but for boys it's the opposite. We call it the Frat-guy Effect, makes you look like medieval pillaging creeps.
:: But would you still love me if I looked like this?
:: Yeah, you'd still be the shining sun of my life.
:: Aww!
:: Impossible to live without, but it would really hurt my eyes to look at you directly.
:: What about now?
:: Much better.
:​​​: Well what about my face?
:: Well, it's like, you know when a movie comes out and you say, "The sequel can't possibly be worse!" then it is? Well, it's like the tenth movie.
==My Eyes!==
::
: and : Ahh!
:: How is that possible? You look even uglier than a second ago.
:: You're right. His condition's deteriorating!
:: Maybe you can try and... own it?
:​​​: What do you mean?
:: You know, like our Grandpa Louie! He never lets his age get in the way of stripping off for his life-drawing classes! And he doesn't even care when the teacher body-shames him by saying, "There's no need to get naked when you're the one doing the drawing."
:: He's right. If you got it, flaunt it.
:​​​: Hmm...
::
:: You... may have flaunted it too much.
::
:: Oh my gosh! My eyes, my eyes!!
==At the Mall==
::
:​​​​: Mmm. What's that you're using?
:: A moisturizer. It may help lift the asymmetrical drooping side of your face. I guess we'll just have to wait for the opposite side to collapse instead.
:​​​​: Hmm. What's in it?
:: Uh, Aloe Vera?
:​​​​: ALOE VERA?! Are you insane?
:: What? Why?
:​​​​: It's made of cactus, that's like rubbing the blended remains of your cousins on your face! NONE of that stuff is made for use on plants!
:: Yet! Gentlemen, it's time for science.
::
:: EUREKA!!!!
:: What?
:: Nothing. Normally when people do all that stuff and shout "Eureka" they get the answer. I just thought that was the formula for science.
::
:​​​​: What are you doing?
:: Eating this gardening book to absorb its knowledge.
:​​​​: Ugh! Gimme that!
:: You gimme that! Wait, what were you gonna do with it?
:​​​​: Read it!
:: Yeah, well that's exactly what I was gonna do, so pffff. Reading, reading, reading, reading—  Got it! You need more sun.
==Sunlight==
::
:: Hmm...
::
:: Hmm...
::
:: Wait. Maybe the fire will improve his face.
::
:: Oh! It says here that you might need more water.
::
:: Maybe a little more?
::
:​​​: How do I look?
:: Like a bullfrog that got a face transplant from a grilled cheese sandwich?
:: Oh. It says here that the problem might be caused by a parasite.
==Fertilizer==
::
:​​​: Wait!
::
:​​​: I'm beautiful. Wait! I'm more beautiful than I've ever been!
::
:​​​: Look at me, world, and gag on my eleganza!
::
==A Very Simple Solution==
:​​​: Aww...
:: It doesn't matter. We still love you.
:​​​: I don't care if you— oh!
::
:​​​: I don't care about the people who love me! I've already got their validation. It's the people who don't love me I need to impress! 
:: Wait a second. Dude, I've got it! You're just wilting! It's completely normal.
:​​​: Really?
:: Yeah! And there's a very simple solution.
:​​​: What is it?
:: Eh?
::
==Welcome to Gardening Thyme==
:
:​​​​​: aaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
:: Dude! Take it easy. It doesn't have to be an ordeal!
:: Yeah! Think of it like a nice, relaxing bit of gardening.
::
:: Hello, and welcome to Gardening Thyme.
::
:: Today's episode is about the seasonal decapitation of flowers, or as we gardeners call it, dead-heading.
::
:​​​​​: You people are INSAAAAAANE!!! Aaahhhah! 
::
:​​​​​: Ahh! 
::
:​​​​​: Come on, st— AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
:​​​​​: AAAAHHHHHHH— It won't start unless it's in park.
:​​​​​: Hmm? 
:​​​​​: It won't start unless it's in park.
:​​​​​: Oh, thanks. Aaahhhh!!! 
:​​​​​: I'm not a monster! I just look like one! 
::
:: You see Darwin, it is important to choose the right tools for the job.
:: Why not a chainsaw?
:: Slow down there, we don't wanna make a mess. What we need is a clean cut to the stem.
: 
:
:​​​​​: Help! Help! Help! Sir! Please help!
:
:​​​​​: Ma'am! Please help! There's these two kids who— 
::
:: Meh meh meh meh.
::
:​​​​​: Please, please! Leave me alone! What are these?
::
:​​​​​: Aahhahh! 
::
:: Make sure you don't waste the flower heads, and add them to the compost heap.
:: Very good point, Gumball. In time, their rotten remains will be eaten and excreted by worms. The resulting matter can be used to feed other plants.
::
:​​​​​: The police! I need to call the police! Agh! No network! Come on, come on! They're coming! 
: and : Leslie, where are you? Leslie...
::
:​​​​​: Ahhh! 
::
:: Leslie, stop being such a drama queen and listen to us for a second!
:​​​​​: Since when is being scared of decapitation considered overdramatic?
:: We're doing this for your own good, man. Think about your face! It will just continue rotting!
:​​​​​: Wait, so you're saying that it's better to leave a hot memory than cold compost? I agree. Do it!
:: What? No, no, your head will regrow.
:​​​​​: Ah, alright then!
::
:: And that concludes our episode.
:: And when will we see our pretty new flower grow, Gumball?
:: When spring comes back in about six months.
::
Category:The Amazing World of Gumball Transcripts