Dragonstone 40

Chapter 40Shortly before dawn, Egil and Alos are both stricken with nightmares. Samurai Chick awakens Alos, but Egil cannot be awakened until the nightmare plays out. I wonder what shape Egil will be in if he has to endure horrific nightmares every single night for the next thirty years, hmm? I wonder if he'll be a pathetic drunk with ocherous teeth?
Hey McKiernan, you want to mock him and kick him around a bit? Or is magic PTSD somehow worthy of sympathy, while normal PTSD isn't?
Yes, I'm still mad about that.
Our Heroes all bathe, and Egil cleverly gets Dolph to find a large sack for him. He also sends Dolph to find out where JarlBaronDuke Steiger might be, only to learn that the good JarlBaronDuke rode away the previous day on "some mad errand."
Next, some more wandering around the grounds. Alos acquires a falcon's hood, and they eye the peacock and decide it will fit the bird just fine. The determine what tree it roosts in, and decide to - wait, they're still planning to bird-nap this peacock?
Look, the "mad monarch's rutting peacock" is clearly Delon. He's Gudrun's personal slave, he's handsome and is paraded around like an ornament, and he's clearly her sex toy. For crying out loud, he has giant feathers on his hat! How obvious does this have to be? Does Arin need a giant hand from the sky to point to Delon while ten-foot-tall flaming letters spell out THIS IS WHO YOU WANT?
How stupid are these people?? \~/\~/
Argh.
Samurai Chick says she doesn't see how a peacock can help them (I guess the rotten ogre eye is a different matter), and Arin just says neither does she, but they have to go on and trust in Adon.
It starts raining, and we cut to evening when Our Heroes present themselves at the great hall. We get loving descriptions of what each of them is wearing, and Samurai Chick is once again called "golden." \~/ They're announced again, which makes slightly more sense now since they're supposed to be the main entertainment for the evening, and then Gudrun and Delon make their entrance. Gudrun is wearing a peach-colored gown, while Delon . . . I'm just going to quote it:
"Following her on his silver chain came Delon, dressed in shimmering blues and greens, his sheening blue jacket long and tailed, with puffed sleeves inset with glittering green panels matching his green satin shirt. His pantaloons were blue-and-green striped, and he wore blue hosiery on one leg and green hosiery on the other. His shoes were sequined blue and green, and his hat iridescent blue, with a shimmering blue plume on one side and a shimmering green plume on the other."
For those who may not know, this is what a peacock looks like:
SUBTLETY! \~/\~/
There's more utterly pointless descriptions of the other entertainers doing their things, and the Arin is called forth. She sings "The Shorn Bride," a tragic tale of love and death, which I shall not bother with, and follows it up with the comic song, "The Ransomed Kiss," about which I care even less. This eats up three pages and naturally moves everyone present to first tears, and then hysterical laughter. Because elves.
Next, Samurai Chick performs while wearing a samurai helmet. She performs what seems to be a high-speed sword kata, which naturally amazes everyone. Also, Egil calls her "golden." \~/ Gudrun is impressed, but when Delon stands and bows toward Samurai Chick she appears briefly angry. Also, Alos manages to get his hands on some booze.
Gudrun asks her champion, Stahl, "a tall man in black leathers with a sabre girt at his waist," if he can "best this yellow warrior." \~/
Stahl says the true test of sword skill is in battle, not dancing, which I would have to agree with. Samurai Chick says derisively that she does not fight for show, but agrees that she would fight for "principle or prize." Stahl calls her "golden," \~/ and Samurai Chick and Gudrun have a brief bargaining session, with the former asking if Gudrun would give her a ring, a thrall, an animal, or a bird. Annoyed, Gudrun swears that if the "yellow woman" \~/ wins, she can have all four. Samurai Chick says she'll only take one.
Oh dear Eru, she's still trying to get the peacock, isn't she? The feathery, screeching, seed-pecking peacock. \~/
Stahl asks what Samurai Chick will give him if she loses, and when she indicates she doesn't care, he says she'll spend the night "pleasuring the royal guard." At this, Arin, Egil, and even Alos tell her not to accept, but she does anyway.
Samurai Chick dons her armor as Stahl dons his, and we learn that he is "taller, heavier, and would outreach her by a foot or more." That sounds like a pretty substantial advantage. They agree that the fight will be to first blood, engage, and "after but eight quick strokes, [Samurai Chick] disengaged and stepped back." She's cut Stahl's right cheek and claims victory.
Stahl insists it was only "an accidental touch" and insists on a rematch. Samurai Chick agrees, but says if he wants a third, it will be to the death. Second verse, same as the first: it takes only seconds and Samurai Chick cuts Stahl's left cheek.
Egil steps forward and notes that Samurai Chick has won twice now, and insists that Gudrun honor her word. Gudrun, obviously pissed, tells the "yellow woman" \~/ to pick and be done with it. Samurai Chick looks around, smoke trickling from her ears, as Alos yells drunkenly in Norwegian. Finally managing to roll a natural 20 on the ol' Intelligence Check, she chooses . . . Delon.
Drinks: 11
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