The Speech

"The Speech" is an episode of SpongeBob's Wonderful Life With Joe Biden.
==Transcript==
(a crowd is waiting for Biden to speak. SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and a reporter are waiting backstage.)
Media reporter: Where is Biden? He was supposed to give his speech an hour ago.
SpongeBob: Uhh… He'll be here in a minute.
Patrick: Maybe he forgot he was the president.
Squidward: Maybe he fell asleep. (laughs)
SpongeBob: No no, he's just running a little late, that's all. Hey look, here he is now.
(Joe Biden starts giving his speech)
Joe Biden: My fellow Americans, today I would like to take a moment to show you this amazing subreddit my son told me about. The subreddit is called r/AlzheimersGroup, and is filled with very original and funny content, like this comic here. It is a really good sub. It is a shame my son isn’t here to see it.
Crowd member: ..wait what?
Joe Biden: I would also like to say that… Uh… I would like to… Uhh, hey have you guys seen this subreddit, it is called r/AlzheimersGroup. Look at that funny orange cat.
SpongeBob: (backstage) Uh oh.
Media reporter: What is going on?
SpongeBob: I think Joe forgot to take his dementia pills this morning.
Joe Biden: Now I know a lot of you guys are worried about the problems with Russia and Ukraine, and my solution to these problems is simple.
Woman in the crowd: (to husband) See I told you I was right to vote for Joe!
Joe Biden: The solution is… We show President Putin this amazing subreddit that I just found. It is called r/AlzheimersGroup, it’s really funny, but this man needs serious help and support, his sock drawer is on fire. I am directing all public services to him immediately.
Woman’s husband: Debbie, why did you vote for this mental (BLEEP), and not for DONALD J. TRUMP!
Joe Biden: And speaking of funny Garfield comics… Uhh… Who are you people? What are your names?
(silence in the crowd)
Crowd member: My name Jeff.
SpongeBob: (backstage) Oh God. I need to help him quick. (runs off)
(Patrick turns to Squidward)
Patrick: Hey Squidward, don't you find it odd that despite making up only 13% of the population-
Squidward: Not this again-
Patrick: 53% of the crime is committed by the-
Squidward: Patrick-
Patrick: These are real stats you can find them on Google-
Squidward: Patrick-
Patrick: Although I can't provide a source for them-
Squidward: SHUT THE FUCK UP PATRICK!
Patrick: Also Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.
Squidward: OK I can agree with you on that.
(back on stage)
Joe Biden: I don’t know who any of you people are but can someone tell President Obama to check his Facebook? I sent him this funny comic.
(it isn’t that funny)
(SpongeBob runs up to him)
SpongeBob: JOE! OBAMA ISN’T THE PRESIDENT!
Joe Biden: …what?
SpongeBob: IT’S 2022! YOU’RE THE PRESIDENT! YOU’RE GIVING A SPEECH ON RUSSIA AND UKRAINE!
Joe Biden: …why what happened?
SpongeBob: Joe, I think we need to leave.
Joe Biden: Now hold on, I didn’t get a chance to show the crowd this new Stampy video.
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SpongeBob: I think they’ve seen enough, Joe. Let’s go. (the crowd boos as SpongeBob and Joe leave)
(the end)
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