The Good Deed

(Episode opens showing a desert planet with hills, a forest, a set of tree houses, a mountain, and a city. Off to the far lower left is a red muddy planetoid. The sun sits in the upper right)
(Zoom in to show Sylvia strolling with Wander on her back playing his banjo and singing)
(Whistling )
Wander: Dee-dee-doo-doo, 
 Boo doo, boo zoo doo, 
 Boo doo-doo doo-doo-doo 
 Zoo boo, boo-doo boo-doo-boo, 
 Doo zoo zoo zoodiloo doo 
 Rrrrr di di 
 Zi dip bi dip boo doo 
(They stroll past a rabbit)
 Zi dip bi dip dooooo...dooooo...dooooo... 
(The last words wind down as the camera zooms in on the rabbit. It is pale and sad. Its stomach growls, and it falls over as if dead. Camera pans back to show Wander and Sylvia looking on. Wander looks at Sylvia and squeals, a gesture to mention he's saying "please?")
Sylvia: Okay.
(Sylvia backs up to the rabbit while Wander sings and plays his song from earlier in reverse)
Wander: (looks down at the rabbit) Hungry, little feller?
(The rabbit's stomach deflates, Wander gasps)
(Cut to show Wander and Sylvia while the sun shines behind them)
Wander: Hmm...gotta be somethin'. (gasps) There!
(Camera pans over to a carrot hanging from a branch. Pan back to Wander and Sylvia with the sun behind them)
Wander: Sylvia, six fingers!
(Sylvia locks her fingers together. Wander bounces off of them)
Sylvia: Whup!
Wander: Whoop!
(Wander lands on the branch and catches the carrot. He bounces back to the rabbit and puts the carrot in its mouth. The rabbit turns a brilliant purple color and bounces up happily. Wander and Sylvia pose heroically; freeze-frame as the episode's title appears and the sun shines behind them)
Sylvia: Little showy, don't' cha think?
Wander: Nothin' wrong with lookin' good while doin' good.
Off-Screen Voice: HEY!
(Camera pans over to the empty "branch"; zoom out to reveal a duck creature, Fleeblebort, holding an empty stick while sitting atop his Hufflerumples)
Fleeblebort: You stole my carrot!
(Camera pans back showing Wander and Sylvia with deadpan expressions on their faces)
Sylvia: Are you kidding me?
Wander: Oh, that was yours?
Fleeblebort: Yeah, I put it on this stick here to make my Hufflerumples go, now, they won't go!
(The Hufflerumples shake their heads no and sit down in anger)
Sylvia: (hisses) Oops.
Wander: Huh. Well, that's weird. 'Cause usually, when ya start down the right path, you end up in the right place!
Sylvia: Huh, not always, I guess.
Wander: Nope, I refuse to accept that! (to Fleeblebort) This is just a minor setback, my snazzly dressed friend. We will simply mosey on over to the local store and buy you a new carrot!
Hufflerumples: Oh!
Left Hufflerumple: You can buy carrots in a store?
Right Hufflerumple: What are we lugging around this guy for?
Hufflerumples: Yeah! A store! (laugh and chatter as they run off)
Fleeblebort: Oh, great! How am I supposed to get to my wedding, now?!
(Wander and Sylvia stare in shock)
Sylvia: Wedding? Oh...!
Wander: No! (runs up to Fleeblebort and picks him up) I will not let our do-gooding undo you, dude. We'll not only get you to your wedding on time, (puts Fleeblebort on Sylvia's back and takes out his banjo) but I will provide the appropriate racing-the-clock action music!
(He plays his song from earlier at fast speed, Sylvia zips off)
(Camera shifts to the overview of the planet as Sylvia races from the hills to the forest. Cut to the forest where a wedding ceremony is being held, there are several fluffy hillbilly monsters, one half is teal, the other half is purple. Sylvia arrives)
Fleeblebort: Whoa, that was fast! I would've missed the wedding entirely if it weren't for you two. Thanks! (gets off)
Wander: Just doin' the good that do-gooders do! (to Sylvia) See that, Sylvia? Right path, right place!
Fleeblebort: STOP THE WEDDING!!!
(Everyone turns toward Fleeblebort and gasps. Fleeblebort runs up to the alter and sees the female purple monster)
Fleeblebort: I love you, Marsha!!!
Marsha: I love you too, Fleeblebort!!! (hugs him, at the male monster) Wedding cancelled!!! (throws her bouquet at him and zips off)
(Pause, pan back to show Wander and Sylvia deadpanned. Everyone groans)
Sylvia: Unbelievable. That's two good deeds gone bad. I hate to say it buddy, but we're having an off-day.
Wander: (shakes head) NO! Good NEVER has an off-day! (going down the isle) We can STILL right this wrong!
(They approach the monster, holding the bouquet in his hand)
Wander: (inhales, talks slowly) Sir, I am sooooooo sorry we caused your true love to leave!
Spats: Oh, she wasn't my true love.
(Wander and Sylvia smile)
Wander: Really?
Spats: Naw, I was just marrin' her to stop the feud between our families, which I guess now... (gets out a laser gun) IS BACK ON!
(Both hillbilly monster halves begin shooting lasers at each other. Camera pans back to show Wander and Sylvia deadpanned)
Sylvia: Unbelievable!
(A laser shoots by them, they scream and duck from the lasers)
Wander: Ooookay, I admit. Today is a teensy bit of a challenge, but...I believe we can end up right! (pauses) Right? (stands up, takes off hat) Let me try something.
(The monsters continue to fire lasers, Wander, dressed as a judge, appears at a podium)
Wander: (speaks in an elderly British accent) Hear ye, hear ye! Order in the court! (slams gavel) As judge, jury and prosecutionor, I demand justice! Plaintiff, how do you plea?
(Camera cuts to the purple half, Wander comes up, wearing a blonde wig and blue tie)
Wander: Not guilty, your honor.
(Cut back to Wander as the judge)
Wander: Solicitor general?
(Wander is now on the teal half, wearing a grey wig and mustache and black bowtie, is holding a cane, and is bent and wrinkled like a senior citizen)
Wander: Also not guilty!
(Camera shifts between both halves)
Wander: Overruled!/Objection!/I said it first!/I said it second! (both talk at once)
(We also see Wander as a businesswoman at a typewriter. Wander as the judge looks on)
Wander: Overruled!/Objection! (continue under)
(Wander as the judge gets angry)
Wander: CONTEMPT OF COURT! IN ABSENTIA – (continues under)
(The typewrighter starts to steam, We see Wander as a police cop)
Wander: I'm warning you! I'm warning you!
(Cut back to Wander as the plaintiff and defendant)
Wander: Objection!/Overruled!
(Cut to the audience)
Purple Hillbilly Monster: Ple-e-ease! We'll stop fightin' if you stop fightin'!
Teal Hillbilly Monster: Yes! Anything, please!
(Cut to Wander as the judge)
Wander: Allll right, then! I hereby declare this feud... (slams podium with giant gavel) OVER!
(Cut to Wander as the plaintiff and defendant)
Wander: A pleasure doin' business with ya, fine sir./Ditto.
(They hold hands. Zoom out to reveal Wander, now back to normal, shaking his hands)
Sylvia: Oh, that made no sense whatsoever, but you did it, buddy! Good deed! Done and done!
(The Hillbilly monsters hug and cheer, and blast their lasers upward, making fireworks)
(Camera shifts to the tree houses where several walking birdheads reside. Some fireworks land by them, scaring them and setting the tree houses on fire. Camera pans back showing Wander and Sylvia deadpanned yet again)
Sylvia: Ugh, don't tell me.
(Wander gets a laser gun ready)
Sylvia: Ah! What are ya doin'?!
(Wander zaps the top of the mountain, making its snow melt and lush over the tree houses, extinguishing the fire and making flowers bloom out of them. The birdheads grow flowers on them as well and cheer)
(Camera pans up the mountain, a gracknore is sleeping where the snow melted)
Gracknore: Hmm? (roars)
(After a pause, the gracknore turns to look at the city and smiles, and roars as he stomps toward it. Camera pans back to show Wander and Sylvia deadpanned once more)
Sylvia: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
(Close up on a pig dressed in a business suit and looking sad. Zoom out to show a whole clan of them entering a building in the city. They oink sadly and head for their jobs. Several clans of pigs are doing this. Suddenly, the gracknore roars in the distance, scaring them. The monster proceeds to wreck the city. Wander and Sylvia dash toward the pigs and Wander blows orbbles over the pigs, floating them away from the snow monster)
(Zoom out to show one of the orbbles flying over the planet to the muddy planetoid. Zoom in on the planetoid as the orbble pops, releasing everyone into the mud)
Wander: (sighs, pants) Folks, (pants) we are so sorry – (pants) for destroying your – (pants) city.
(The pigs squeal)
Pig: Sorry? This place is way better than where we used to live!
(they take off their business suits, cheer and roll in the mud while oinking)
Sylvia: Yeah, buddy! Bam, you did it! We ended up in the right place! Even that gracknore's happier than he was all frozen. (looks at the gracknore making sand angels in the city)
Wander: I don't know, Syl. I still have a sneaky feelin' deep down in my belly, that somethin' bad's still gonna happen.
Pig: All I'll see is Hog Heaven!
(He slams a flagpole into the mud, causing mud to flow over to a mud volcano. It erupts onto a small red planetoid, causing it to bounce off a star. The star flies through the sky, bounces off another planet's rings and bounces off a few smaller planets like a pinball machine. One of them gets pushed toward the sun, causing it to bump to the left a little)
(Zoom out of a window to a tent revealing a fortune teller, the sun is seen out her window. She is staring at her crystal ball)
Fortune Teller: (notices the sun) Wait! The skies have shifted. The stars do not say you will not be a strong and powerful leader. Now, the stars say you are immature, awkward, and emotionally unstable.
(Lord Hater slams his fist onto the table and roars)
Lord Hater: I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE! (turns her table over) YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, SUN! (walks out but after a pause, comes back) Uh...anything about a...girlfriend like...making out, or...even just, holding hands, or...
(The fortune teller shakes her head no. After a pause, Lord Hater roars and leaves)
(Cut to a close up of Lord Hater)
Lord Hater: Peepers! (zoom out to show him in his ship) Obliterate that sun!
(Zoom out to show the ship near the sun)
Peepers: Sir, yes, sir! (presses buttons) Right away, sir! (pause) Sir, I think any girl would be very lucky to have –
Lord Hater: FIRE!!!
(Peepers presses a big, red button, the "mouth" of the ship opens to let a missile out. It starts to head toward the sun. Zoom out to the muddy planetoid to show Wander and Sylvia seeing this)
Wander: I don't know how, but I am pretty sure that is our fault.
Sylvia: So what?! (blows an orbble and gets in it) We've righted these wrongs all day, so what's stoppin' us now?!
(Zoom out to show Wander not following her. Close up on him, he slowly begins sinking into the mud)
Wander: Sylvia, I've been thinking, maybe, um...tsk...we shouldn't stop it.
Sylvia: Are you outta your flip-pick-kickin' lupsork?!
Wander: Uh, what if something worse happens? I always believe that when you start on the right path, you had always end up in the right place, but...every time we try to do good, it just turns into something worse, and worse, and worse. If we stop that missile, it...could cause the whole universe to – (rest of speech is muffled under the mud)
Sylvia: Wander, with the day we've been having, that is entirely possible. But I'm also saying that if doing a good deed leads to the universe getting destroyed... (sticks her hand out of the orbble) Partner, that's not a universe I wanna live in anyway.
(Camera shows only Wander's hat visible over the mud. After a pause, Wander sticks his hand out and grabs Sylvia's, and she pulls him into the orbble)
Wander: Ya, ya, ya!
(Sylvia sets off at top-speed. Cut to their orbble rolling down the planetoid, pan upward to the sun as the missile flies toward it. Close-up of the missile, then to Wander and Sylvia as they head towards it. Brief wide shot, then back to them)
Wander: Sylvia, six fingers! (inhales, holds breath, jumps)
(Sylvia locks her fingers together and Wander lands on her hands. Wide shot of the orbble as Sylvia launches Wander upward. Brief perspective shot of the missile approaching the sun, then cut to an extreme close-up of Wander's inhaled face, zooming in on his eyes. Shift to a close-up of the sun as Wander's silhouette appears, jumping up in front of the missile as the camera zooms out slightly. Side view as he lands on the missile's nose, causing it to change its direction. It zooms off, cut to Sylvia as she aligns the orbble under Wander and he lands on her back, still holding his breath. Close-up of them)
Sylvia: See, Wander? Start down the right path, ya end up in the right place. (pause) In other words, you can breathe now.
(Wander releases his breath. Camera shows the desert planet as everyone on it cheers as the planet bounces)
(Cut to inside Lord Hater's ship)
Lord Hater: Oh, what is taking that stupid missile so long? (looks at his watch)
Peepers: (sees the missile heading towards them out the window) SIR! SIR!! SIRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
(They scream as they see the missile. The missile hits the ship – this replays two more times from different angles. The ship explodes and a white light engulfs the screen)
(The light fades to show Lord Hater and Peepers among the floating remains of the ship, both are each clinging onto a part. Wander and Sylvia go by in the orbble, Wander is playing his song from earlier on his banjo)
Lord Hater: Uhh, a little help?
(Sylvia backs up to him, Wander plays the song in reverse. Pause)
Wander/Sylvia: Nope!
(Wander continues playing the song and Sylvia trots away, leaving Lord Hater and Peepers floating with the ship parts)
Category:Wander Over Yonder Transcripts