There's a Degenerate on Your Lawn

There's a Degenerate on Your Lawn is the second episode of Season Three of A spin-off just for spin-off kings.
==Place==
TBA
==Transcript==
[The episode begins with Prim sleeping in his bed. After a few seconds, the French Narrator wakes him up.]
French Narrator: GET UP, FAINÉANT!
[Prim darts awake.]
Primitive: OH JESUS FUCK! How long have I been sleeping for?
French Narrator: 11 days.
Primitive: Huh.
French Narrator: NOW WRITE YOUR EPISODE!
Primitive: GOD CHRIST JESUS OKAY
[We cut to the episode. Multiple users are walking down the street.]
CrazySponge: ah what a great day it is to Go For a Walk
Level: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.
Dan: -so then I said, "DAYUM! YOUR BADONKADONKS ARE HUUUUGE!!"
Liz: I don't know why I hang out with you buffoons.
[House falls from the sky, narrowly missing CrazySponge.]
House: RUN!! THEY'RE COMING!!
CrazySponge: whos cumming to what
House: I don't know why I try to warn you.
[House ascends.]
Level: That was weird.
Dan: Not the weirdest thing I've seen.
Liz: Dan, don't you have more important things to do than tell us about your kinks?
Dan: Not until 4:00.
Liz: Degenerate.
Dan: THAT'S A KICK!
Liz: wait wu-
[Dan kicks Liz into the stratosphere.]
Dan: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go jack off to some Lola Bunny porn.
[Dan leaves.]
Liz: FURRY!
CrazySponge: well i mean-
Level: AIDAN! (he slaps him) Don't you think we have more important things to do than gush about porn 24/7?
CrazySponge: i mean that's what we usually do in sbfw
Level: House warned us about something, remember?
CrazySponge: eh, house hates my guts, he could have just been playing a prank on me
[Kelpy G appears, tinted pink with white eyes, walking like he's undead.]
Kelpy G: Guhhhhh… ratings. Give me your ratings.
Level: HOLY GUACAMOLE! Is that Kelpy G?
CrazySponge: i mean the script says so
Level: What happened to him?
CrazySponge: he looks about normal to me
[More pink users appear, all of them groaning about ratings.]
Level: OH JESUS, THERE'S MORE OF THEM!
CrazySponge: is that supposed to be a bad thing
Level: YES YOU BUFFOON! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY EAT OUR BRAINS!
CrazySponge: heh, what brains, amirite. don't worry existant i think they're harmless
[Purple walks in.]
Purple: Good morning, Krusty Kre-
[Kelpy G bites him.]
Purple: Ooh-hoo-hoo, slow down Kelpy, we just me- (Purple begins turning pink, he takes a zombie-like position) -buhhhh, ratings.
Level: JESUS CHRIST THEY'RE INFECTIOUS!! Come on, Aidan, we gotta get outta here.
[Level takes CrazySponge by his hand and leads him to the BP building. Various infected pink users are taking chunks off the building.]
Level: Shit. They got here before us.
[CrazySponge drops down kneeling.]
CrazySponge: MY BEAUTIFUL BUILDING!!!
Level: We'd better go somewhere else.
CrazySponge: ABSOLUTELY NOT! a captain always goes down with his ship.
Level: …suit yourself, Aidan, but I don't think it's safe to go in there.
CrazySponge: pfft, you don't know jackshit about my precious building. it can withstand various fatal events, such as hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, terrorist attacks, and stans.
Level: Can it… withstand zombie apocalypses?
CrazySponge: well, it wasn't in the contract
Level: Well, let's just go in there and pray to Arre we live.
[Cut to inside the BP building. Ally, Prim, Dan, Bot, and CartoonGuy are inside wearing leather clothing and shooting some of the infected pink users. CrazySponge and Level walk in.]
CrazySponge: TRESPASSERS!
Level: Calm down Aidan! Maybe they can help us.
SpongeBot: Oh, hey Aidan.
Primitive: Yeah. And, uhh… Existant, right?
Level: I go by Level now.
Primitive: Right, I knew that.
Ally: Shut up.
CartoonGuy: Hey Crazy, Exista- Err, Level. (he grabs a molotov cocktail and throws it at the infected users, blowing several of them up) How ya guys doing?
CrazySponge: gee, you guys are really killing those… pink zombie guys
CartoonGuy: I have quite a bit of experience murdering people.
Level: I'm not gonna question that.
Ally: We had to use some of your weapons.
CrazySponge: YOU WHAT
Dan: Yeah. I even had to borrow your dildos.
CrazySponge: i-
Dan: Not for the reasons you're thinking of, you degenerate green fool. The other guys took all the weapons, so I had to make do with what was available.
Primitive: Why do you have dildos anyway, Aidan?
CrazySponge: preservation. i mean, why else would i have dildos in my building? its not like im gay or anything
SpongeBot: Can I borrow, like, a few thousand of them after all this blows over? For scientific research?
CrazySponge: i guess so
Level: Say, how did the users become pink zombies anyway?
Primitive: Beats me.
CartoonGuy: you literally wrote the fucking episode pussycat how do you not know
Ally: We think it has something to do with a piece of fanfiction so degenerate it turned the people who read it into zombies.
Level: Huh. Remind me to never underestimate the sexual fantasies of the users from the SpongeBob Fanon Wiki.
Ally: We don't know who wrote it, but we have our suspects.
[The group looks at Dan.]
Dan: Hey, just because I've written some… questionable stuff in the past doesn't mean I'm guilty of starting a zombie apocalypse!
Level: Come on Dan, just admit you wrote it. We won't be mad with you.
Dan: Ok fine I wrote it.
[Level punches Dan out the window.]
SpongeBot: Welp, there goes one of the only remaining survivors.
Level: Uhh… oops?
Ally: Sigh. Just stay out of the way and let us handle this.
CrazySponge: oh come on. doing nothing is boring. can't i at least work on the cure?
Primitive: The cure? Oh, the cure is nothing medical or anything, it's some weird religious statement by Golfpecks. But being the stubborn penguin/banana/fish that he is, he refuses to say it. To teach us a lesson or something.
CrazySponge: i bet i could persuade him to cure everyone. im an expert persuader.
CartoonGuy: Well, then go try your luck.
CrazySponge: i think i will
Level: Shouldn't Aidan take a weapon or something? So he can defend himself from the zombies?
Ally: Well, if he's such an expert persuader, he can persuade the zombies to not kill him.
CartoonGuy: We should at least give Aidan something.
SpongeBot: Uhhh… here, take this piece of metal.
CrazySponge: wow thanks i always wanted a piece of metal. i'll call him stewart and we'll be best friends for life
[Cut to CrazySponge running over to the Banana Studios building, hitting the infected pink users along the way. He ends up at the front door.]
CrazySponge: GOLF! OPEN UP!
Golfpecks: (off-screen) Absolutely not, snuzzcomber.
CrazySponge: B-B-BUT GOLF PLEASE
Golfpecks: (off-screen) Nope. I don't let business rivals inside my building.
CrazySponge: BUT GOLF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
Golfpecks: (off-screen) Let that be a lesson to the cretins of SBFW for making such heinous pieces of fanfiction.
CrazySponge: I HAVE STRAWBERRIES!
Golfpecks: (off-screen) You may come in.
[Laugh track.]
Golfpecks: BE QUIET! Laughter is unproductive.
CrazySponge: can you just let me in already
Golfpecks: Fine, I'll let you inside my banana kingdom. But only for the strawberries.
CrazySponge: IT'S A DEAL!
[CrazySponge goes inside.]
Golfpecks: Alright, give me the strawberries and get lost.
CrazySponge: yeah yeah, but first can you tell me how to cure the zombies
Golfpecks: Nope.
CrazySponge: if you don't, then no strawberries
Golfpecks: I just quoted a random verse from The Bible and they went back to normal.
CrazySponge: any bible verse or one specific one?
Golfpecks: I don't know, now give me the strawberries.
CrazySponge: not until you cure all the infected zombie people
Golfpecks: Do I have to?
CrazySponge: yup
Golfpecks: Ugh, fine.
[They go outside, but all the pink zombie people are gone.]
CrazySponge: huh. where did all the zombie people go
[We see the remaining ashes of the BP building. Nobody is around, infected or not.]
CrazySponge: i guess the remaining survivors sacrificed themselves to eradicate the zombies. that means… (he turns to Golf) golf, you and i are the only ones left-
[Golfpecks blows CrazySponge up with his banana bazooka. He takes the strawberries and leaves.]
French Narrator: Many years later…
[We see various banana buildings. The sky is orange, and many of the buildings are on fire. We see a very old Golfpecks with his grandson.]
Golfpecks: And that's the story of how I changed Banana Land for the better.
Golfpecks' Grandson: People are literally suffocating and burning out there.
Golfpecks: But at least there's no degeneracy!
Golfpecks' Grandson: Everyone is dying.
Golfpecks: C'est la vie.
Golfpecks' Grandson: Fuck you.
[He leaves.]
Golfpecks: Kids these days.
[fin]
Category:Episodes
Category:2021
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:PrimitiveSponge129
Category:Spin-Off Kings
Category:Episodes Written By PrimitiveSponge129
Category:2020s