Doraemon

Doraemon Lionel Messi Cristiano Ronaldo Gatorobot (born January 1, 1970) is an earless robotic cat (ERC) who lives in Kurafuto City, Animetonia. Born in the (relatively) small city of Mangatown, he moved to Kawaiicute when he was 18 to become a one of those boring, greasy, stinky kitchen guys at Burger King. Dude eventually realized how boring this work is, and quit at super speed.
At 22, he became a superhero and saved approximately 666 people from doom and destruction during his seven-year tenure. At 30, he realized superhero work was boring and overrated, and turned into a TV actor. After starring on a zillion soap operas, he quit that, and decided to become a big-time Hollywood star. (You may remember him from such films as Temple of the Fat Cat and Attack of the 40-Foot-Tall Insect Monsters.)
According to every magazine, Doraemon is the coolest robot cat ever born and possibly the cutest... despite his ultimate superpowers including the ability to squeeze your head with a single poke.
== Life Story ==
=== teh bornig ealry yaers ===
He was built by a lonely surgeon named Sewashi Nobi, who was the grandson of Nobita Nobi, an infamously imprisoned serial killer and pimp.
Doraemon was programmed to act like a fucking dumbass child (FDC), occasionally eating rocks and smelling dogs. He also had a strange fascination with real cats' fur, and would often shave it off, eat it, and cleanly shit it out germless hours later.
=== IT BEGINS ===
He was good friends with Mellonn during childhood, but he moved away for some reason.
As a teenager, he got a job at Burger King as a fry cook. Dude was fired after three days because they claimed "Women belong in the kitchen." Sad, sad, sad store.
On his 22nd Builtday, when Sewashi asked what he wanted to do with his life, Doraemon said "I WANNA KICK SOME FUCKING AÀÁÂÃÄÅSS!!!!"
Then he became a superhero.
=== Doraemon saves people and stops saving people and gets a new job and another new job and just keeps doing shit ===
Doraemon became a superhero because he liked the thought of saving people and kicking le booty. It felt so good, he almost became a serial killer. He saved 666 people during his tenure as a life saver. And best of all... not one of 'em was a politician!! (laugh track)
Doraemon quit at 30 to become an actor because acting is fun since it gives you a chance to pretend to be someone you're not. Also, you get to where crispy metrosexual makeup that makes you look like a "Pinocchio". He starred on a zillion soap operas and then quit that too.
Then he turned into a Hollywood star. You may remember him from such films as Lions in Front of the Doghouse and Nasty People Acting Really Stupid 2. He also got really dumb during that time, and he started mauling people unprovoked... which lead to Legal. Ass. Shit.
=== LEGAL-ASS SHIT ===
The legal-ass shit started when Doraemon was arrested for nearly killing a man he mauled behind a McDonald's because he thought, "Yo, this dude looks muy, muy crispy." So he tried to kill him. He went to court and a bunch of shit happened so he was sent to prison for thirteen minutes.
After that, he was forced to smash his left leg (in which he hid his CASH MONEY) open and pay a fine of $400,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (400 octillion). Those goddamn regal assholes will do anything just to suck violent citizens dry of any remaining cash instead of sending them to a psychiatrist or mental institution.
=== Cheating Girlfriend ===
He dated a cat god named Callie, who is a "superhero" who has too much boyfriends and she's a cheater. However, he broke up with her due to her annoying ass.
== The end. ==
THAT'S IT. GO HOME.
Category:Blue guys
Category:Robots
Category:Cats
Category:Lawful good guys
Category:Superheroes
Category:Super powerful
Category:Smart guys
Category:Cute characters
Category:Fuckers
Category:Overrated Guys