Chris Pratt

Chris Pratt is a fictional character played by Mario. The beloved character is best known as the protagonist of Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties. After his first on-screen appearance, audiences couldn't get enough, and soon Garfield 2 received many sequels, all of which with Chris front and center as a lovable, wisecracking, lazy, gourmand, orange raccoon(?). Though popular for his film appearances, Pratt first appeared in a comic strip featured in Botched Vasectomy Reversals Weekly Magazine. Chris Pratt is infertile.
== Creation ==
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Sometime later, cartoonist, Jon Arbinkle while doodling, accidentally created the first depiction of Chris Pratt. "I really was just doodling", Arbinkle says, "and suddenly I look down and notice this... this... well-- honestly I'm not quite sure; my best guess is some kind of lizard." Whatever creature Arbinkle foolishly spawned, he knew it warranted it's own comic strip and might just net him his big break. He immediately began drafting strips of Chris Pratt and submitted his work to magazines and newspapers all across the land. The only response came from Botched Vasectomy Reversals Weekly. Honored to be accepted by such an esteemed institution Arbinkle happily continued to pen strips for each issue until his death as a civilian casualty in the War.
== Film Adaptation ==
Though not reaching mainstream notoriety, the Chris Pratt strip certainly had its fans. One of such fans even had enough screws loose to make a movie about him. The exact identity of this person is unknown as nobody has stepped forward to take responsibility as the culprit of this atrocity. The gross affront to all things Pratt, the aforementioned Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties, is the first entry in what eventually would become a series chronicling the escapades of the snarky, orange octopus-thing called Chris Pratt. In the first movie, the plot revolves around Chris getting his driver's license, which obviously goes against his character because, as we all know, frogs can't drive. For this reason, the movie disappointed many long-standing fans of the comic, while drawing in new fans who came for the movie's exorbitant CGI budget, which admittedly made for a great climactic fight sequence versus God. These new fans however know nothing of the absolute disgrace that this movie is, for its utter massacre of the character of Chris Pratt; the only real similarities are superficial. At least they were able to get Mario, the actor from the comics, to reprise the role for the films. 
== Death? ==
In the conclusion of Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, the eleventh and final movie in the Chris Pratt saga, Pratt, rematching God for the fourth time (they ran out of ideas), ultimately is pushed into a chasm after God pointed behind him and said, "Hey, look over there!" As even the very best of us would, he looked behind him to see what was so important, only to get pushed to his maybe doom. The chasm looked very deep but we don't know he's dead because maybe there was a trampoline at the bottom.
== Trivia ==
* Okay, I think he's a squirrel actually
* In the comics, he had no ears
* Jon Arbinkle has gone on record saying that creating Chris Pratt was the single thing he had the most remorse for in his life
* No, wait, a weird vulture perchance??
* Mario looks very hot while playing him
* I've got it: penguin, final answer
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