Meat Ditties

"Meat Ditties" is a song that was sung by Hamm & Eggz in the former Kitchen Kabaret show at Epcot.
As the duo sung their song and told their carnivorous fables, a slideshow was projected near the kitchen window in the center of the stage.
== Lyrics ==
As members of the meat group, we would like to sing this song
And cook you up some ditties as we're singing right along
At meals, our act is very keen
We're chock full of protein
The meat group can help you keep strong
Hamm: Now, we'll really beef up this act.
Eggz: A-speaking of meat, let's tell them what happened down at the chicken coop, eh?
A hungry fox boldly walked in through a hen house door
Too bad for him, he met a hen who stood at six foot four
He won't forget the lickin'
He got from that big chicken
Now, he gets his poultry from the store
Hamm: By the way, Mr. Eggz...
Eggz: Yeah?
Hamm: Why was Chicken Little so upset the other day?
Eggz: Well, his mother fell asleep in a hot tub and his brother was born hard-boiled!
Hamm: One more joke like that and we'll get the hook.
Eggz: Hook! Say, that reminds me. What about the fish story?
A school of fish grew tired of a bragging big mouth bass
"Why get straight A's?", he used to say and so he would cut class
Oh, he should've stayed in school
A worm made him a fool
Now, there's a test he did not pass
Hamm: Hmm, Mr. Eggz, whatever happened to that tuna you used to work for?
Eggz: Oh, sad story. She got caught being fresh and was canned.
Hamm: You know, Mr. Eggz, you're the first egg I've ever seen lay an egg.
Eggz: Oh yeah?
Hamm: Let's finish up before you get us in real trouble.
Eggz: Yes sir!
At meals, our act is very keen
We're chock full of high protein
The meat group can help you keep strong
Eggz: Uh, say, Mr. Hamm, did I ever tell you about the time–
Hamm: Hold it right there! One more crack out of you and this act is finished!
Eggz: One more crack out of me and the yolk's on you!
Hamm: That does it, we're through!
Eggz: Fine...
Hamm: There's plenty of good protein acts for me to work with.
Eggz: Oh yeah? Like who?
Hamm: Cheese! Cheese is a great source of protein.
Eggz: Oh, I cheddar to think about it...
Hamm: Beans! Now there's good–
Eggz: Beans?! Oh, nuts to you, Hammy...
Hamm: That's right, nuts to me! Another excellent source of protein.
Eggz: I can't take it. What are you going to do with a guy like this?
Category:Songs
Category:Songs from theme park attractions
Category:Kitchen Kabaret songs