Diseases the Bugle can't cure

While the Bugle has many homeopathic properties, where a joke is so far diluted that there is no modular signaure of the oringial joke, consider this aricle a health warning.
== The List of Diseases that the Bugle CAN'T Cure.==
*The Clap.
*Athlete's foot.
*Baldness (sorry Andy, it's just not working).
*That itch that you get in your back and you've no idea where it come from and it's right in the middle where you can't reach.
*Peyronie's disease.
*Nyctohylophobi.
*John Wilkes Booth disease.
*Baby giantism.
* Elephantitus (our thoughts and prayers go out to John Oliver during his struggles)
* Bad actoring (if you don't think it's a disease you have not seen The Love Guru the musical)
* Scottishness
* Being French (and therefore not existing)
Fuck you Chris