Galaxies

Galaxies is the first episode of Static.
==Synopsis==
SpongeBob and Patrick travel back in time to prevent the Challenger disaster of 1986 from occurring, but nearly become the victims themselves.
==Transcript==
[SpongeBob is checking his email; Patrick walks in]
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick. What's up?
Patrick: Not much. Got a new song on my iPod.
SpongeBob: What's it called?
Patrick: I think Galaxies, maybe?
SpongeBob: Have I heard of that? [goes on Wikipedia, types in search)
Patrick: Yeah, I think that's it! Wait... [reads text] What's the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster?
SpongeBob: My parents told me about that. So, because the shuttle was faulty, I think a missing ring, the shuttle blew up in the sky. Killed everyone on board. Including a teacher.
Patrick: Why was a teacher up in it?
SpongeBob: Some contest, I think.
Patrick: Wow... that's not good.
[scene changes to Bikini Bottom History Museum]
Patrick: I'm glad we won that prize drawing over at summer camp. Free tickets is always a good thing, whether it be to a museum, rollercoaster, bathroom...
SpongeBob: Ew.
Patrick: I just hope this place doesn't blow up.
SpongeBob: Patrick, this place is not going to blow up!
Patrick: Good, but you never know.
Museum Worker: Ticket, please?
SpongeBob: Here you go. [places both tickets on table]
Museum Worker: Thank you.
SpongeBob: See, Pat, this place is fine! Dinosaurs...
Patrick: They can eat me...
SpongeBob: Ancient tools...
Patrick: They can stab me...
SpongeBob: Navy airplanes...
Patrick: They can dice me...
SpongeBob: And rocketships.
Patrick: They can blow up on me.
SpongeBob: Pat, you seem to look on the negative side today.
Patrick: SpongeBob, those people went up on a shuttle and died!
SpongeBob: Yes, but things are not killing machines all by themselves. There was a faulty ring!
Patrick: What if this place has a faulty ring?
SpongeBob: Pat, it's a museum. Look, people learned how to make fire, and they used it! People learned from mistakes and learned to cook!
Patrick: What does that have to do with anything?
SpongeBob: Fire can burn you, but they learned how to keep it from doing it.
Patrick: I still don't think it's safe.
SpongeBob: Patrick, don't think at all about anyth-
Patrick: Done.
SpongeBob: Okay... well [looks]. Let's go talk to this guy [walks up to man]. Hey there.
Man: Hi?
SpongeBob:  I'm SpongeBob.
Man: Thane Epstein.
SpongeBob: Thane?
Thane: Uh-oh.
SpongeBob: You're the famous inventor of time travel, aren't you?
Thane: Shhhh... keep it down, I'm incognito! Now I admit it, I'm the Thane Epstein, but I value my privacy. Now what do you want to keep quiet?
SpongeBob: [looks at Patrick] A trip to 1986.
[theme]
Thane: Fine. I've got a time machine at my place, but it'll be a few days for it to charge.
SpongeBob: Does it work?
Thane: I have the arrow that killed Achilles in my bedroom. I've seen dinosaurs. This thing works.
SpongeBob: Well, great! So, you can just call me when it's ready. [writes phone number, hands to Thane] Just call this number.
Thane: Okay.
SpongeBob: [to Patrick] Get ready for the time of your life, because we're going to 1986!
Patrick: 1986? Why?
SpongeBob: That's when the Challenger disaster happened.
Patrick: [sarcastically] Oh great, I get to see people die first-hand. Yippie.
SpongeBob: You don't get it. We can prevent the disaster!
Patrick: Prevent it?
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Patrick: But then I'd lose my song.
SpongeBob: [sighs] What's more important to you, Patrick? A song, or people's lives?
Patrick: Fine.
[scene changes to SpongeBob's house. He is playing Cat Mario]
SpongeBob: [character dies] You've gotta be kidding me! I'm done. Done. 
[phone rings, SpongeBob answers]
SpongeBob: Hello?
Thane: [over phone] It's charged. Head over to 276 Guile.
SpongeBob: Okay. Thanks. [hangs up, calls Patrick] Hey, Pat.
Patrick: [over phone] What's up?
SpongeBob: Not much, except... the time machine's ready!
Patrick: Cool.
SpongeBob: Yeah!
[scene changes to Thane's home; SpongeBob pulls up]
SpongeBob: I think this is the place.
Thane: [opens door, steps outside] Hey there! Come on in.
SpongeBob: Thanks.
[SpongeBob sees inside of house; is struck; fitting music plays]
[looks at marble floors]
[gazes at pristine, well-kempt furniture]
SpongeBob: Holy-- This place is amazing! [music stops]
Thane: And that's not even the best part!
SpongeBob: This place is awesome! Don't you think so, Pat?
Patrick: Sure.
Thane: Now, we go into the lab.
SpongeBob: But the bookcase is there. It's a dead end.
Thane: That's what you think... Just step on through.
SpongeBob: It's solid.
Thane: Just tap the bookcase with your foot.
SpongeBob: Okay... [foot touches bookcase, flinches] Wait a minute.... my foot went through! Is this the portal?
Thane: What? Oh, hell no, this is just the entrance to the lab.
SpongeBob: Oh, good. [goes through bookcase, Patrick and Thane follow] So, how do you make this entrance?
Thane: The molecules in the bookcase repel to the energy of the human body, so they push back to the wall, effectively making a door.
SpongeBob: That's so cool!
Thane: Yep. And down this corridor, we'll find the time machine.
SpongeBob: Nice. Hey, can I check your room real quick?
Thane: I guess. Not much in there.
SpongeBob: Thanks! [looks in room, sees arrow with dried blood on it] Achilles' heel arrow, eh? Wow... [accidentally pulls on arrow, shaft comes off, sword blade underneath.] A sword? I don't get it... did someone pull the sword out of the holder and finish him off? Did he bleed to death? Suicide?
Thane: Little guy, come on!
SpongeBob: Coming!
[commercial break, scene starts in lab; Thane, SpongeBob, and Patrick are walking down a hall.]
SpongeBob: Seriously, this place is awesome.
Patrick: Meh.
SpongeBob: Meh? Do you think you could do any better?
Patrick: I'm a sculptor.
SpongeBob: You use sand.
Patrick: It's an art medium.
SpongeBob: I guess you can't say that about burgers, though.
Thane: [stops at pathway with multiple doors] Here we are.
SpongeBob: Which door?
Thane: None.
SpongeBob: Oh, let me guess, another portal.
Thane: No. Brush your hand on the bottom of the wall.
SpongeBob: Why?
Thane: You'll see.
SpongeBob: Okay... [brushes hand on wall] It did noth-- [floor falls while spinning, SpongeBob and Patrick scream, machine lands]
Thane: Yes, that reaction is normal for first timers.
SpongeBob: I'll say. Anyway, how did you even think of such a place like this?
Thane: I took use to my inventions.
SpongeBob: Like what?
Thane: Other than the clever entrances, I've also managed to create a new programming language.
SpongeBob: What's it called?
Thane: Well, it is still in very early development. I don't have a final name for it yet, but it is codenamed Asher.
SpongeBob: Okay, and what does it do?
Thane: Lots of things. Even more than just simple characters and polygons. It is to program nanobots to do simple, yet extremely effective tasks. For example, make objects hover. I have already put some inside of a small ball, but the bots lack a sense of direction, so avoid any red plastic you see.
SpongeBob: Nanobots? Doesn't that seem somewhat risky?
Thane: How?
SpongeBob: Have you ever seen this show called Revolution?
Thane: No, why?
SpongeBob: Well, some guy in it made nanobots that took all the power out in the world. I watched it only once or twice with my dad, but somehow in one of the episodes, it ended up with someone getting set on fire.
Thane: Remind me, what rating is this series? You don't appear to be any older than fourteen.
SpongeBob: I'm sixteen, Thane.
Thane: Still sounds pretty violent to me--
SpongeBob: Our generation doesn't really care about violence.
Thane: [deep breath] Anyway, so, we are nearing the machine. Now, let me tell you two a secret: This is the only real time machine. The commercial time machines are only illusions caused by virtual reality.
SpongeBob: Is there only one to avoid a rip in the space-time continuum or something?
Thane: That is correct.
SpongeBob: And what would happen if the continuum was ripped?
Thane: It'd basically be a living Hell. People would be erased from existence every second; disasters such as the Holocaust would be brought back; and eventually, the world would be swallowed into a black hole, destroying the entire bloody universe.
Patrick: [nervously] I... uh... need to go to the bathroom?
Thane: Go right ahead.
SpongeBob: Me too. Be right back.
[SpongeBob goes into one of the restrooms, finds Patrick looking in the mirror thoughtfully]
SpongeBob: What's wrong, Patrick?
Patrick: What do you mean?
SpongeBob: You haven't been asking any questions, seeming anything but happy, and now you just run away.
'Patrick': I'm scared for my life, dude! This isn't just a rollercoaster ride at Coney Island; we're going off with a guy we've barely met to go into a "time machine" to go back to the place where people died! Now I don't know about you, but with that whole space-time risk, plus the "impossibility" factor of saving those flaming people, I see nothing but a huge, steaming pile of suicide!
[SpongeBob is stunned, long pause]
SpongeBob: Well.
Patrick: It's the truth.
SpongeBob: You don't know what I'm doing for you. I brought us on this trip so that we can try to help prevent the tragedy. If you're not grateful for that, then that's that. Just think about what you're being like.
[heads back to Thane]
[commercial break]
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More to come!
==Awards==
Category:Static
Category:TopherGopher
Category:2013
Category:Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes Starting Spin-Offs
Category:New Year's Award Winners