Inspector Gadget 2/Transcript

==Transcript==
Inspecter Gadget: Wowsers, it's quiet. Too quiet. And when it's this quiet, you know what that means, brain? Evil's afoot. We're on a stakeout,
Gadget-mobile!
Gadgetmobile: No, you're on a stakeout.
I'm on a sleep-in. So keep it down, a'ight?
Gadget: The least you could do
is stay alert.
Gadgetmobile: Alert for what? Face it, inspector G, since we locked up Claw,
all the bad guys have been too afraid to show
their faces in Riverton.
Gadget: One thing I've learned
in all my years of crime fighting, gadget mobile, is that it's always
the most quiet right before
the criminals strike! And speaking of crime... Potential law-breaker
at 12:00!
Gadgetmobile Who, grandma over there?
Gadget: Go, go, gadget radar gun. No, no, no. Go, go,
gadget radar gun. 
Gadgetmobile: Oops! There go
those glitches again.
Gadget: No, radar gun!
Radar gun!
[A rader gun emerged.]
GADGET: Ah, the speed limit is clearly posted
at 25 Miles per hour, but she's going exactly
25.3 Miles per hour. Prepare
for high-speed chase!
Gadgetmobile: Hang onto your pockets,
'cause here come the rockets.
Old woman: Oh my.
Gadget: Stop in the name of the... law.
Gadgetmobile: That went well.
Gadget: Go, go, gadget parachute!
GADGETMOBILE: Whoa. Now,
how is that for disc brakes?
Gadget: Go, go, gadget parachute,
back in the thing. Ma'am, do you know
that drag racing on public roads is illegal?
Old Woman: But, officer, I... 
Gadget: There are not buts when
it comes to the law. I'm afraid I'm gonna need to see your driver's license.
Old Woman: I'm sorry, officer.
I must've left it at home.
Gadget: Yeah, a likely story. Go, go, gadget handcuffs. You have
the right to remain... Silent! If you give up... Coming through... that right... unh!
Gadgetmobile: My man really needs
to switch to decaf.
GADGETMOBILE:
Okay, one sweet granny packaged and ready for delivery.
GADGET: Drag racing indeed. I've seen your type before. You've got a need for speed. Yes... I know.
PENNY: Hey, Uncle gadget! Hi, brain.
Gadget: Penny, I thought we agreed you'd call me "inspector" in front of
the hardened criminals.
Penny: She's a hardened criminal?
Gadget: Don't be fooled by
appearances, penny. Look what I found in her purse. Probably from
one of her victims. And look at this. Liquid evil.
Old Womna: But, but, officer... 
Gadget: save it for the Judge, Perp. Yeah, but, but, but. Everybody's got a big but. Hey, what are you doing here? Isn't today a school day?
Penny: Well, there aren't any good cases
to solve at school. I want to solve
real cases... with you.
Gadget: Penny, I told you before, you're too young to be
chasing criminals. You should be in school.
Penny: But, Uncle gadget, if you'd
just give me a chance... 
Gadget: look, I have to go. I'm in the middle
of a big arrest. Now you get back to school, and I'll see you tonight. And you, I hope you
like prison food.
BAXTER: Now, let's see
how your Physiobiometric febble fitzer is functioning. Oh, diagnostics check out fine. What seems to be
the problem, gadget?
Gadget: Baxter, I'm still having
gadgets with my glitches. I mean, glitches
with my gadgets. I'm all messed up.
Baxter: Sorry, gadget, I don't see what the problem is.
Gadget: Watch. Go, go, gadget toothbrush.
GADGET: See? Bubble gum.
Baxter: I see what the problem is.
Gadget: Isn't there something
you can do for me, Baxter?
Baxter: Well, you're the prototype
gadget, gadget. There's bound to be
a few glitches. But you'll be happy to know we've been working on it. I'll let you in
on a little secret. Soon, we'll be
unveiling something... Soon... that'll solve
all these glitches for good... soon.
Gadget: Wowsers. Thanks, Baxter. Well, better go check in with the chief.
Baxter: Oh, I wouldn't bother
the chief right now. I heard some idiot arrested his mother
this afternoon.
CHIEF QUIMBY: Where is he? Gadget!
Baxter: Oh...
Quimby: You put my mother in jail for drag racing?
Gadget: And driving without a license. You've always said, chief,
no one is above the law.
Quimby: This is what you
also said last week when you arrested that
troop of girl rangers for selling cookies!
Gadget: Those cookies were 3 days past
expiration date!
Quimby: You are this close to being put on
probation, gadget. Now, let's get my mother out. Heaven knows
what's happening to her down there with
all those lowlifes.
Old woman: And then,
when his guard is down, his kidneys are exposed,
and that's when the marathon of pain begins. And who's your grandma now? Take some of this!
How'd you like this?
GADGET: Wowsers,
that's gotta hurt.
Quimby: Mom's tough love. This is your last
warning, gadget. Stick to solving real crimes.
Gadget: Chief, there are
no real criminals left. They're all in riverton prison.
Gadget: Gadget here. What? Uh-huh. Wowsers! You'll never guess
what happened. Claw escaped.
Penny: Claw escaped?
TV: Police have put out
an all-points bulletin and are setting up a dragnet in hopes of finding
the fugitive. Citizens are advised
that if they see an evil genius with a claw,
not to approach him. Dial 911 immediately. He's extremely dangerous and really, really mean.
Gadget: And I'm on the case. Bye-bye, penny!
PENNY: Wait, Uncle gadget! You gotta let me come with you. I mean, I can help you
look for clues...
Gadget: I told you before,
penny, you're too young.
Penny: How old do you have to be
to be a detective?
Gadget: I don't know. But older than you are now. Look... I've got work to do.
I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget
to brush your teeth.
Penny: (SIGHS) I could do so well if he would just
give me a chance.
Gadget: Well, my finely honed
instincts are telling me that he probably
escaped through here.
Quimby: Oh, really? Gadget, take a look at this. We found this in claw's cell.
Gadget: Wowsers. You don't think he's still holding
a grudge, do you?
Quimby: Gadget, listen. The whole city
is counting on you. Go out there and catch claw. Oh, I'll catch him.
Gadget: Caught him before,
catch him again. Don't you worry, chief.I'll have claw back behind bars before you can say...
QUIMBY: (SCREAMING) Gadget!
CLAW: Brick,
retrieve my darts!
CLAW: Mckible, serve my tea!
MCKIBLE: I don't
see why we gotta retrieve your darts
and serve your tea.
Brick: Yeah!
Mcikible: We're vicious minions,
not valets. One sugar or two?
Claw: Two.
Brick: Here, boss. :Dr. claw,
this place is a dump. What happened to your
multimillion-dollar high-rise
evil headquarters?
Claw: What do you think
happened to it? When gadget
arrested me, the police confiscated
all my assets. But after we've pulled off
the crime of the century, I'll be back on top again.
Mckible: Great... another
crime of the century. I'm still on parole
for the last one.
Brick: What's the plan this time?
Claw: Watch and see.
NEWS ANCHOR: The
federal reserve bank, with a deposit of over
5 trillion dollars in pure gold,
was built 2 years ago after riverton was
declared statistically the safest city in America. Utilizing the latest
in security technology and a squadron of armed guards, the bank is considered
impregnable.
CLAW: Not for long.
Brick: We're gonna rob
the federal reserve! 
Claw: Right before Riverton's eyes, and there won't be a thing inspector gadget
can do about it.
Brick: How we gonna do that? They said the bank was impen... Really hard to get into.
Mickible: Yeah, I don't see how.
Claw: That's why you're just minions, and I'm an evil genius.
Brick: He's got a point.
Claw: We are going to build the ultimate super weapon. But we haven't much time. We need to be ready in 10 days, because next Thursday
at exactly 9:23 A.M., the x-force one satellite will be directly over riverton. And by then, we need to steal ion fuel cells, a Protoid Laser, and a Ruby, plus a few miscellaneous
knickknacks.
Brick: Yum. I love
knickknacks.
Any news on claw's escape?
The city's in a panic!
The people want to know. What are you doing
to capture claw?
Wilson: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a momentous day for us. The gadget program
has helped make riverton...
Quimby: Thanks a lot.
Hmph!
Wilson: The safest city in America!
Ha ha ha ha! Bob!
Bob: Thank you, mayor. We weren't going to unveil
this until next year, but in light of claw's escape, we decided to move up
our timetable.
Chief: Baxter.
Baxter: This is gadget model 2... or "G2" for short. The latest,
most newest generation in the gadget program.
G2 reporting for duty. Sir!
Gadget: Wowsers.
BAXTER: She's similar
to the original gadget, but she's completely,
entirely all robot.
Not to worry, g2, I've got everything
under control.
Oh, inspector, you're everything
I ever wanted
in a crime-fighter.
GUIMBY: Gadget. Gadget! Gadget, could you
give me a hand, please?
Gadget: Certainly, chief.
Guimby: I want to give
a little demonstration of what G2 can do.
Gadget: Pleasure to meet you,
miss... 2. Must be a loose wire
or something. I'll speak to Baxter about that.
Quimby: G2 will now show us how she would
apprehend the suspect. Gadget, I want you
to take this stolen money and hide it on your person.
Gadget: Stolen money!
Stop this felonious
and unlawful act, or I shall have to use force.
Gadget: Well, she has got
a very commanding voice.
ROBOT VOICE: Alert,
suspect, suspect.
Very well.
You were warned.
Gadget: Whoa! Okay! Whoa!
You have the right
to remain silent. If you give up this right,
anything you say can and will be
held against you.
Quimby: All right, G2, I think
we get the picture.
MAYOR: Bravo! Bravo! Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen... well, she is very good.
Gadget: I noticed that she didn't
say "go, go, gadget."
Baxter: That's just one of
the many improvements I've made to G2.0. Like it?
Quimby: You might say that G2 is you without the glitches. I'm putting her on
the claw case right away. 
Gadget: Fantastic. I always wanted a partner. And when we
interrogate criminals, I'll play good gadget,
and you can play bad gadget.
I don't think so.
Gadget: Okay, then you play good gadget,
and I'll be bad gadget.
G2: I appreciate the
offer, inspector, but I work alone.
Gadget: But, chief,
the claw case is my case.
Quimby: You can go back to cracking speeders
on the highway, gadget. There's a new
sheriff in town.
PENNY: Uncle gadget?
Uncle gadget, is this true? They're giving the claw case
to this g2 character?
Gadget: Well, for the time being, but don't worry, penny,
I'm being reassigned to another
high-profile case.
Penny: What could be more
high-profile than claw?
Gadget: It's top secret, penny. In fact, it's so top secret that they haven't
even told me yet.
Penny: So, what are you making there?
Gadget: Well, I'm just making
your favorite dessert. 
Penny: Apple crumb cake with
raisin cinnamon icing and coconut sprinkles?
Gadget: Okay, I'm making your
second favorite dessert, lemon pudding.
Penny: So, um, since
you're off the case, I guess you wouldn't want to see this clue that
I found about claw.
Gadget: Clue claw?
I mean, a claw clue? Is it a clue about claw?
Penny: Take a look at
today's classifieds. "Wanted SEG seeks minions for rewarding opportuniyu in the field of world domination. Extensive rap shet required. "Apply 7 P.M. tonight. Call 555-0139
for appointment."
Gadget: Well, I've already
got a job, penny, but thanks.
Penny: No, I checked the number, and it's for a bar called
"the blue monkey." You know what this means, right? Uncle gadget,
if you go to the blue monkey, I bet it will lead you
right to claw. You can get back on the case
and get a jump on g2.
Gadget: You know, penny, if I went to the blue monkey, it might just lead me to claw. Then I could get
back on the case and get the jump on g2.
Penny: That's what I was just saying.
Gadget: Oh, did you?
Well, I guess great minds think alike.
Penny: So, we'll leave
right after dinner, right?
Gadget: No. Nope.
I'm sorry, penny, but this is official
police business only.
Penny: But you gotta let me
come with you. I mean, I can help you.
Gadget: Penny, this is
no place for a kid.
Penny: I'm not just a kid,
Uncle gadget.
Gadget: Of course not. You're a very special kid. But there's more
to being a detective than just being smart. It takes a sharp eye for every detail,
every little nuance. A good detective never
lets anything get P...
Penny: Uncle gadget, the pudding!
Gadget: Go, go, gadget, stop beater! Okay! Everything's fine! Well, it's a good thing
I wore an apron.
GADGETMOBILE:
Okay, here we are.
GADGET: Wish me luck.
I'm going under cover. Hi, there, fellas.
PENNY: Okay, brain,
the coast is clear. Come on,
let's check around back.
What do you want?
Well, I just got
out of the slammer, and I'm looking
to wet my whistle.
What'll you have?
A nice tall glass of milk.
Milk?
I mean, chocolate milk.
Make it a double.
PENNY: Hey, brain. This way.
MCKIBLE: Okay, then. Let's see what
applicants we have here. Squint. Jungle Bob. And you must be the one
they call "the ninja."
Brick: "Ninja"? Why do they
call you that?
Ninja: Hyah!
Brick: I think I see why now.
Mickible: Okay, then. Judging by this, you guys are prime
Minion material.
Hoo!
I have a history of hair loss in my family.
Anything else I can get you?
Yes.
I'm looking for...
Sorry, we don't serve
lobster here.
What? No.
Doctor claw.
Claw, huh?
Well, if you want to find him, you're gonna have to
grease a few palms, if you get my drift.
Well, whatever you say.
Here you go... top grade axle grease.
Why, you...
Go, go, gadget duck.
Check, please.
Just the check.
So... When do we start
working for Dr. Claw?
MCKIBLE: Immediately.
Penny: Did you hear that, brain?
Come on, guys,
let's talk about it.
Oh, man. (YELLING)
You're stretching my sweater.
Help, Gadget-mobile!
Help!
Oof!
Mickible: The cops!
Come on, this way!
Brick: Come on, let's get
out of here quick!
Move it, move it, move it!
BRICK: We can hide
at my mom's house.
Penny: That was close.
Ooh, I can see you're upset.
Hey, look, I'm knocking
his block off!
Mommy...
Coo-coo. Coo-coo.
Coo-coo.
Stop this felonious
and unlawful act, or I shall have to use force.
Ooh, look, boys,
Malibu Barbie here is gonna get rough with us.
G2: Very well. You were warned.
Inspecter Gadget: Wowsers, she's good.
GADGETMOBILE: Man, lucky for
them guys I wasn't in there, 'cause I would have been on them like ugly on a mini-van.
Gadget: Well, thanks for the backup, G2, although everything
was under control. I had those toughs right where I wanted them.
Inspector, what were you
doing in that bar dressed as a...what exactly are you supposed to be dressed as? 
Gadget: I'm a hooligan. Huh? I went undercover to follow up on a valuable lead concerning where's Claw abouts... I mean, claw's whereabouts.
I'm in charge of the claw investigation
now, remember?
Gadget: Look, G2, maybe we just sort of got off on the wrong foot.
Oh. Perhaps we could have
dinner sometime... you know, just to discuss
crime-fighting strategies. Imagine how great
we could be as a team. We could call ourselves
"the g-force" or "the g-team"
or "the 2 gs"
inspector gadget.
Gadget: What up, g?
Even though I'm not programmed for such emotions,
I admit I find you strangely...
Likable. But as I already told you, I work alone.
Gadget: And so do I. I'm just saying that maybe we could
work alone together.
Penny: You don't even
know who I am.
Gadget: Think about it.
Penny: No, really.
You can't arrest me. I'm one of the good guys.
Really, I am.
Gadget: Oh, hold on.
She's with me. Penny, what are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to stay home?
Penny: Well, never mind that. Here, look what
I found about claw.
MCKIBBLE: Dr. Claw's pulling
a little heist tomorrow night at the concentrated
industry's warehouse.
Gadget: Wowsers! We'll have
to have a stakeout.
You mean, I'll have
to have a stakeout.
Penny: Hey, this is our case, lady.
Gadget: Penny.
Penny: I know. You told me
to stay out of it, but, well, I did
find you this clue.
Gadget: Look, penny... I know you want
to be a detective, okay? But this following me
around all the time just isn't going to fly. 
Quimby: Gadgets!
Gadget: Hi, chief.
Quimby: Gadget, what are you
doing in a barroom brawl?
Gadget: Looking for clue claws. Claw clues...
clue about claw. And I was right. We just got a valuable lead.
Penny: Yeah, a very valuable lead.
We have evidence
of a possible heist at concentrated
industries warehouse tomorrow night.
Quimby: Great work, G2! You can stake it out
and catch him red-handed.
GADGET: Fantastic. I'll bring the doughnuts.
Quimby: I already told you.
You're off this case... both you and Nancy drew here.
Penny: Hey!
Quimby: And you're off the force, too, if you get within so much as a hundred yards
of that stakeout.
Penny: All right, fine, but if claw
gets away with his plan for world domination,
don't come crying to us.
Quimby: Remember, gadget...
100 yards!
GADGET: 99, 100... 101 yards away. I'm at the stakeout, but I haven't violated
the chief's orders. See?
At the stakeout... not at the stakeout. Stakeout...
not at the stakeout.
Gadgetmobile: I don't think the chief
is going to see it that way.
Gadget: Go, go, gadget binoculars. My, she certainly is well-equipped,
isn't she?
Gadgetmobile: Ooh, gadget's got a girlfriend. Gadget's got a girlfriend.
Gadget: Don't be silly, Gadget-mobile. Our relationship is
strictly professional. Besides,
she's state-of-the-art. I'm last year's model.
Gadgetmobile: A few extra Miles
look good on a player, and you are a player, g. You're tricked out with
more factory extras than the Batmobile.
Just show her that it's all good under
the hood, a'ight?
Gadget: I have no idea
what you just said, but I'm sure that
if I were a car, it would have been very helpful.
Gadgetmobile: All I'm saying is,
you got to show her you got what it takes, man.
Gadget: You're right. You're right! Thanks, Gadget-mobile. Well, I guess I'm just
gonna go on up to the roof and scope out the situation.
GADGETMOBILE: You go ahead
on with your bad self... ha! I don't know what that man would do without me.
Heh heh.
Man: Hold on, there. What do you want?
Mickible: We got a delivery.
Man: This ain't no food warehouse. I'm gonna need
some authorization.
Mickible: Will that do? We're in, your Claw-fulness.
CLAW: Good. Now bring me
the ion fuel cells.
Mickible: Yes, sir.
G2: Halt!
SQUINT: Oh! It's the mechanical meter maid! I'm real scared!
Jungle: Good one, squint.
Gadget: Uh-oh. Looks like G2
could use some backup.
Stop this felonious
and unlawful act, or I shall have to use force.
Jungle: No problem, love.
Catch!
Gadget: Ooh!
She got the kung fu. I'm gonna give them a little bit of the what for!
That's right. Go, go, gadget helicopter hat. Stupid glitches!
JUNGLE BOB: Come on!
Come on, you! 
Gadget: Wowsers, she sure is limber.
BOTH: Huh?
Squint: What is that?
Jungle Bob: I don't know.
Squint: Oh, I don't like this. Oh, no!
MCKIBLE: Hurry
it up, bonehead!
Gadget: Go, go, gadget something
to get me down there. Wowsers. I never knew I had one of these.
G2: Stop this felonious
and unlawful act, or I shall have to use force.
Mickible: You imbecile!
ROBOT VOICE:
Suspect, suspect.
G2: Very well.
You were warned.
Gadget: Gadget to the rescue!
(IN SLOW-MOTION) No!
No!
What are you doing here?
Gadget: Well, it looked like
you could use some help.
Mickible: Quick, grab the fuel cells! Let's get out of here!
They're getting away.
Gadget: Not to worry, g2.
I'll get us out of this. Go, go, gadget scissors.
QUIMBY: Gadget! I told you specifically not to go to the stakeout. 
Gadget: That's not entirely
accurate, chief. You told me not to get within a hundred yards of the stakeout, and I posted myself exactly 101 yards away.
Then how did you manage to get tangled up with me
inside the warehouse?
Gadget: Well, you gave me
backup at the bar.I thought I'd give you
backup at the warehouse.
I never need backup. And until we find out what claw needs
the fuel cells for, all of riverton is at risk.
Gadget: Chief, you have to
put me back on the case. The department needs me!
Quimby: That's right, gadget. The department does need you. And I've got just the assignment to take advantage of
your unique abilities.
Gadget: Go, go, gadget power brush.
Come on, come on.
I'm stuck.
Go, go, gadget turbo speed.
(SCREAMING)
(BUBBLY) Go, go, gadget stop!
Stop!
Be careful in there. That toilet's got quite a flush.
Claw: Looks like gadget has finally found
his true calling... Roto-rooter man.
Bob: Hey, Dr. claw,
check this out... an unlimited supply
of bowling shirts.
Brick: And shoes!
(MEOWS)
CLAW: Silence! Everyone, pay attention! Who can tell me
what we need next to build my super weapon? The laser... a new experimental Protoid laser that's being unveiled at the riverton
science convention. But to take it,
we are going to need a little diversion.
Penny: Hey, Uncle gadget.
Gadget: Penny, shouldn't you
be in school?
Penny: Uncle gadget, school
was over an hour ago.
Gadget: Oh. I'm sorry, penny. 
Penny: Oh, hey! This came for you
in the mail today. Looks kind of strange. 
Gadget: "Inspector gadget... If you want to catch
Dr. Claw, be at the science
convention tomorrow." Wowsers! He must have
really bad handwriting to go to all that trouble.
Penny: Or maybe he doesn't want you
to identify his handwriting. And, look, it's signed "anonymous
concerned citizen."
Gadget: Well, it's good to know that we still have
a concerned citizen who's willing to get involved!
Penny: This smells like claw.
Gadget: No! Why would claw want me there?
Penny: I don't know. Uncle gadget,
this might be a trap.
Gadget: You know, penny, I'm thinking that
this might be a trap.
Penny: That's what I just said. You gotta let me
come with you this time.
Gadget: Sorry, penny.
No can do. This is work for a serious law enforcement professional.
Penny: You mean like
a bathroom attendant?
Gadget: Exactly. Now, don't stay up
for me, Penny. I'm on the case.
Gadget: Now, I need you to keep
a sharp eye out, Gadget-mobile.
If you see anything suspicious,
you let me know.
GADGETMOBILE: You mean like a
Trekkie with a girlfriend?
GADGET: Exactly.
CLAW: The goose has arrived... ready to be cooked.
MAN: There we go.
How's that?
Yeah, now, I'll just...
Even at this level?
Wow!
Round and round.
Radio: In sports,
the national hockey league...
Hmm...
Penny: Keep your eyes peeled for anything suspicious, brain. Come on.
BAXTER: Inspector gadget!
Gadget: Hey, Baxter! What are you doing here?
Baxter: I'm showing off my latest gizmo, the bark translator. It's going to give
a whole new meaning to the term
"police dog." Watch. Speak, Pedro.
Gadget: Very impressive. Now Pedro can talk to cows.
Baxter: No, no, no, no. It's supposed to
translate into English once I've got all the bugs out.
MAN: (ON P.A.) Attention, the
unveiling of the new Protoid laser is about to begin.
Gadget: I'll see you around, Baxter. Bye bye, Pedro.
Good luck!
Baxter: Pedro.
Gadget: Well, better have myself
a little look around. Go, go, gadget binoculars.
Inspector gadget!
Inspector gadget!
Inspector gadget!
Mickible: Excuse me, inspector. I'm your biggest fan.
Brick: I thought I was
his biggest fan.
Mickible: No. I'm definitely
his biggest fan.
Brick: No. I'm
his biggest fan.
Mickible: Will you excuse me
for one minute? (SCREAMING IN GIBBERISH) Sorry. Would you mind
if we took a picture?
Gadget: Uh, no. No. I'm always happy
to oblige my fans.
Mickible: Ready? Say cheese.
Both: Cheese.
Mickble: Thank you, inspector. You'll never know how much
that means to me.
Gadget: Well, it's my pleasure. And remember, crime doesn't pay.
Claw: Wrong, gadget. Crime always pays. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Wilson: Thank you, thank you. Distinguished guests and, of course,
members of the media, it is my great pleasure
to welcome you to my... whoops... our
science convention.
Mickible: The chip is in position,
your Claw-fulness.
Brick: Yeah!
Claw: Watch as I play with my new toy, the gadget puppet.
Gadget: Well, guess that letter
must've been a prank. Everything seems okay.
Gadget: Hmm. Well, I've never had
glitches like that before.
Mayor: And to introduce
you to the eminent Nobel-prize
winning scientist Dr. Theodore
Von Sprokenwich.
Dr. Theodore: Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you. It's so nice to be here... In riverton.
Wilson: ...his new experimental
Protoid laser. 
Gadget: Think positive,
no-glitch... Thoughts.
Claw: All right, gadget, let's party!
Gadget: I'm sorry! Should come out
with a little soda water.
Wilson: Inspector gadget, what do
you think you're doing?
Gadget: I didn't say
"go, go, gadget" anything.
Penny: Oh, no, Uncle gadget, what now?
Gadget: (EXCLAIMING) Whoa... whoa!
Baxter: What's wrong, inspector?
Gadget: I think I'm having
a glitch attack. Sorry! Unh! Hyah!
Excuse me. Whoa... Mickey. Woof! Woof! "Woof"?
Mickible: Let's go!
Gadget: Gadget-mobile, help!
Penny: I was right! Claw's men are
stealing the laser! Don't let them
get away. Hurry!
Brick: We're getting rid of it.
BRICK: You know what,
this thing's heavy. Hey! Aah! These are
my favorite shoes!
Mickible: Get in the car!
Wilson: Gadget, I said
stop it this instant!
Gadget: I've got everything
under control.
GADGET: Relax, mayor Wilson! It's only toothpaste. Remember, kids,
brush twice a day. Not to worry.
I'm all right.
Brick: Oof!
He's got my shoe!
Mickble: Bad doggy! Let's go.
Penny: First ion fuel cells and now a Protoid laser? What is claw up to?
Gadgetmobile: Huh? What'd I miss
this time?
Penny: Thanks for all your help.
Gadgetmobile: Hey, I've been
working nights, okay? I need to recharge my battery.
Penny: Brain?
What you got there, boy? From the bad guys? Hey, now this might be
an important clue. I hope Uncle gadget's
not in too much trouble.
Gadget: Fired?
You can't fire me. I quit! Wait a second.
I don't want to quit. Besides, chief,
it's not my fault. Look what Baxter found on me... a circuit override chip.
Quimby: I don't care!
Claw stole the laser, and you tarred and feathered the mayor in toothpaste and caused $100,000 in damage! Turn in your badge, gadget.
Gadget: Oh, but, chief, all I ever wanted to be
my entire life was a crime fighter. 
Quimby: Your badge. Well, that'll be all, Mr. gadget.
CLAW: Gadget's goose
is cooked... more like deep-fried
and burnt to a crisp. Silence! Now, with gadget out of the way, it should be smooth
sailing from here on.
Penny: Uncle gadget? What are you still doing in bed? And why is your trench coat and hat in the trash can?
Gadget: I'm no longer
a policeman, penny. I'm a... well... There are a lot of
things that I could be. Window washer, huh? Dog catcher...
ooh, parking valet. Sky's the limit.
Penny: But, Uncle gadget,
you can't give up now. Here, look what we've got. It's a bowling shoe. One of claw's men dropped it
at the science convention.
Gadget: What were you doing at
the science convention?
Penny: Never mind that. Look, we can
solve this together. We can track down claw
and get you your job back.
Gadget: No. I'm through.
Penny: All right, then, I'll
track down claw myself.
Gadget: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. You are to stay out
of this completely, do you understand? This is a grown-up
problem.
Penny: Uncle gadget,
just give me a chance. One chance.
Gadget: Look, the fact is, that there's nothing that you or anyone else can do for me. I'll never be a crime fighter. Never again. 
Penny: You don't believe in me.
Penny: Go away, brain. Brain, go away. Okay. Okay,
I get the message. It's up to us now, brain. We have to help Uncle gadget. Come on, let's get to work.
Gadget: Go, go, gadget hammer. That's lunch, people.
Gadget: All finished. Voila.
Penny: What's this? A patent number.
CLAW: Faster,
minions, faster.
G2, are you any closer
to capturing claw?
Yes.
I'm on the case.
Gadget: (MUFFLED) Oh, no.
Penny: Keep your paws crossed, brain. This might be exactly
what we're looking for. Look.
It's the same shoe. The shoe was made
by the bowl-rite company in the 1950s and 1960s. I wonder where
their factory was. Let's see. 1959. Bingo. Ah, here it is. The bowl-rite
bowling equipment company down on old mill road. It must've gone out of business, because it's not in any of
the directories after 1960. I wonder
what's there now, brain.
CLAW: Now, the third item
that I need... huh? As I was saying, the third item to complete
my super weapon.
Brick: I know this one...
the Ruby.
Claw: Yes, but a big Ruby... say, about 50,000 karats.
Heh heh heh!
Mickible: Your Clawsomeness, where are we going
to find a rock that big?
Claw: The riverton museum. The Ruby's on loan from the raja of India and will be on display
Wednesday night at the mayor's fund-raiser. We are going to stop by and do a little fund-raising
of our own.
GADGET: Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to mayor Wilson's
fund-raiser-o-Rama.
Quimby: Gadget.
Gadget: Don't worry, chief.
No need to tip me.
Wilson: We better be getting inside.
Gadget: Yeah.
It's nice in there.
MAYOR WILSON: I'm here. Good evening.
Good evening, everyone. Yes, it's me. Ha! Break out the cameras.
Wilson: Ooh, another photo-op.
Quimby: G2, notice anything suspicious about those musicians?
Aside from the fact that
the music doesn't match... The instruments they're playinh.
PENNY: Come on, brain. Yep. This is definitely
the place. Well, at least
the building's still here. I don't know, brain.
This place is creepy.
Wilson: Welcome, sir, welcome. Lady Campbell, how
wonderful you could come. Lovely to see you, sir. (SHRIEKS) Claw!
CLAW: Greetings, mayor.
Hope you don't mind if we drop in on
your little party. Everybody stop
right where you are. The festivities have just begun, and I can promise
it's going to be a gas... laughing gas, that is.
CLAW: That's right.
Laugh it up, riverton, because I am having
the last laugh now.
Gadget: Must be quite a party.
Wilson: Do something to
stop him, Chief Quimby.
Quimby: You'll never get away with this.
Claw: We'll see.
Quimby: G2, see.
Very funny, Claw,
but you forget... I am unaffected by laughing gas. Now stop this felonious
and unlawful act, or I shall have to use force.
Claw: Ah, the lady gadget. I've so looked forward
to meeting you. I hope you don't fall victim... To my magnetic charm. Now if you'll excuse me, G2, I have some shoplifting to do.
Penny: It looks like
someone's been here... and recently, too. Thanks, Brain. Do you see that? Brain, look. It's a perfect match.
GADGET:
Done so soon?
Mickible: Uh, yeah. We were playing
the unfinished symphony.
Brick: And then we took
this giant Ruby.
Mickible: Yeah. That was the name
of our last song. You know,
we took this giant Ruby.
All: [singing] We took this giant Ruby took this giant Ruby stole this giant Ruby stole this giant Ruby stole this giant...
Gadget: Just a minute, there! Let me get that for you.
Claw: Thank you, inspector.
Gadget: That's it.
Everybody in.
Minion: Thank you.
Gadget: Nice to carpool, isn't it? Yeah. There. No tip. They stiffed me again. I live on tips!
Penny: Brain, take a look at this. "Fuel cells." That's what claw stole
from the warehouse. "Laser."
That's what claw took from the science convention. "Ruby." Now, what would claw
want with a Ruby? "Quantum Physics
for Dimwits?" Okay, claw's definitely
up to something big. Wait a minute. I know
what claw's up to. He's going to build... Come on, brain.
Brick: We're rich!
Hey, hey!
Mckible: Hey, how much
do you think... This thing would fetch
on e-bay?
About $1.98.
Claw: No, nitwits. Once we've robbed
the federal reserve, we can buy hundreds
of these baubles. With my secret weapon, riverton will be defenseless... as will the rest of the world!
Penny: I've got to tell Uncle gadget. Come on.
Claw: Well, if it isn't
mini-gadget. Get her!
Jungle Bob:
Come on, let's go!
SQUINT: This way! Come on!
-JUNGLE BOB: Whoa!
-(SQUINT GROANS)
MCKIBLE:
She's getting away!
I'll cut her off at the pass.
Come here.
Get back here.
Claw: Get her!
Penny: Hey, isn't this the place
to get new bowling shoes?
MEN: No! Uh-uh.
QUIMBY: I assure you, miss mayor. We'll do everything in our power to apprehend claw. G2 will be...
Wilson: G2 is finished... Along with the whole
gadget program. It's time we reinvested in some good old-fashioned
policemen and women, not these mechanical clowns.
Ms. mayor, if you just
give me another chance... you had your chance.
Wilson: It's bad enough
they stole the Ruby, but what's worse... no one gave any money
to my campaign.
Quimby: I should've learned
my lesson with gadget. This whole program
is a total waste of time. Come on, G2. We're taking you
back to the precinct for immediate deactivation.
Deactivation?
Quimby: That's right... deactivation.
GADGET: I'm sorry, G2.
Thank you... But there's nothing you can do.
Quimby: Now, G2.
Gadget: Nothing I can do. Or is there?
Gadget: Okay. Now, where's... That light switch? Wrong switch.
g2: What happened?
Gadget: I reactivated you.
g2: Inspector gadget, why would you do that?
Gadget: Well, I hate to see
a good detective get recycled, and... I've always had great admiration for your investigative abilities and your physical prowess, your commanding voice.
g2: Inspector, are you
saying you like me?
Gadget: Well, I suppose. In a manner of speaking. Strictly professional.
g2: Thank you.
Gadget: You're welcome.
Gadget: Brain, what are you doing here? Where's Penny? Ooh, he's trying
to tell me something. It's too bad I don't speak dog.
G2: Hmm. If only dogs
could talk like people.
Gadget: Mmm.
That would be good... wait a second. I have an idea.
GADGET:
All right, brain. Now speak.
Brain: (IN ENGLISH) Bow wow.
Gadget: Brain... Speak something else.
Brain: Check.
Testing 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. Penny has been
kidnapped by claw.
Gadget: Amazing, isn't it, what modern technology can do. Wowsers! Penny's been
kidnapped by claw?
Brain: Yeah, and claw's built
some sort of giant laser he's going to fire at riverton and rob the federal reserve. He's holding penny captive out at the old bowl-rite
bowling factory on the outskirts of town. 
Gadget: The bowling factory? Of course.
The bowling shoe. Penny was right. I should've listened to her. She tried to tell me, and I didn't listen to her.
BRAIN: Speaking of listening, I'm getting a little tired
of liver-flavored kibble all the time. Would it kill you to shell out for a pork roast
or a little prime rib?
Gadget: Look, G2... My niece is in trouble. I know that you don't ever
work with a partner, but I really need your help.
G2: Are you sure you want my help?
Gadget: I can't think of a better person to go after a super-villain with.
Brain: All right, let's do it!
Gadget: Let's kick some claw tail.
Gadget: Ready?
g2: Ready.
Gadget: Let's go.
MCKIBLE: We're here,
your Clawsomeness.
PENNY: Claw, you'll never
get away with this.
Claw: Penny, my dear, prepare to witness
a great historical moment.
Penny: Your demise?
Claw: (LAUGHING) I do enjoy
your sense of humor. Now, it's almost 9:23. Mckible, activate the ray.
Mickible: Why can't evil geniuses
ever say "please"?
Brick: He's a very busy man.
Mickible: I'm a busy man, too.
CLAW: Behold! The greatest super weapon
of the 21st century.
Brick: A bowling pin?
CLAW: No, you dim-witted
pea-brain. Watch and see.
Whoa.
Mickible: Double whoa.
Claw: Meet the time
displacement laser... my crowning achievement in a lifetime of evil. Riverton doesn't stand a chance.
Gadget: Hurry, Gadget-mobile, before they fire
the giant laser.
g2: Can't you make this jalopy
go any faster?
Gadgetmobile Jalopy? Oh, yeah? Well, bring on the noise
and bring on the funk, because I'm bringing out
what's in my trunk. And just wait until
I get into second gear.
CLAW: Time for riverton
to take a true snooze. Fire away!
g2: It's gaining on us.
Gadget: Faster, faster.
GADGET:
Wowsers! That was close.
Mickible: Riverton is in a deep
freeze, your Claw-city.
Brick: That means time has stopped.
Mickible: That's what I said.
CLAW: Good. Now we won't
have any trouble... With traffic. (CACKLING)
BRICK:
I don't care.
Penny: Uncle gadget.
G2: The ray looks like it's stopped. You think it's safe to go back?
Gadget: Oh, there's no time to waste. We got to stop claw
and rescue penny.
g2: Then to the federal reserve...
and step on it.
Gadgetmobile It's time to kick
some bad guy Booty.
CLAW: We're just here
to pick up a few hundred billion
in bullion. Hope you don't mind.
Mickible: I don't think he minds... A bit.
Brick: Time to show me the money.
It'll take weeks
to crack this thing.
Claw: Not if you know
the right people. Thank you,
Mr. bank director. Your services are
no longer required.
MCKIBLE: We're rich... rich!
CLAW: Okay, underlings, looks like the federal reserve is having a 100% off sale!
GADGETMOBILE: Out of my way. G team coming through.
SQuint: I'm going to need
a really big piggy bank for all of this.
Mickible: Come on, brick. Faster, faster.
CLAW: Now, let's see. Tomorrow, we rob fort Knox. Then on Tuesday, the Louvre. So much to steal,
so little time. Wait. I've got
all the time in the world.
GADGETMOBILE:
The cavalry has arrived.
Claw: Gadget again.
Penny: Uncle gadget, you're all right!
Claw: Come here, you.
GADGET: The jig is up, claw. You're under arrest
for kidnapping, bank robbery,
breaking out of prison, and general,
all-around evil.
Claw: The jig is most
certainly not up. In fact, the jig
is just starting.
Penny: Oh!
Claw: You want me to play dentist with your niece?
PENNY:
Uncle gadget, help!
Claw: Brick! Mckible!
PENNY: Help!
Claw: Get in there, you.
Bob: Dr. claw, what about us?
Squint: Yeah, man.
Claw: You're minions, aren't you? Get the good guys!
PENNY: Uncle gadget, help! Help! Help me!
G2: I'll take care of these clowns. You go after claw.
Gadget: Good call, g2. Go, go, gadget helicopter hat. Stupid glitches. I hate being last year's model.
G2: Here. Let me
give you something from this year's model. Take one of my chips.
Gadget: G2, but... Then you might get the glitches.
G2: I'll manage.
Gadget: Okay.
Better stand back. Go, go, gadget helicopter hat. Whoa. It works. It works! It works!
GADGETMOBILE: You
go get 'em, g.
g2: This shouldn't take long.
GADGETMOBILE: Time to
take out the trash, g-girl, and don't bother to recycle.
Brick: Dr. claw,
it's gadget.
CLAW: (GROANS) Not again.
Penny: Oh, Uncle gadget.
Claw: Don't worry. Time for gadget
to go out with a bang.
Gadget: : (YELLING) Help!
Gadget: Sorry.
Brick: Oh, no! He's still after us.
CLAW: Mckible, lose him!
Ninja; Hyah!
G2: Go, go, gadget boomerang gun.
g2: Oh, well. I guess when you have lemons, make lemonade.
CLAW: Care for
a smoke, gadget?
PENNY: Uncle gadget! Help!
Gadget: Go, go, gadget scooter.
G2: Go, go, gadget net guns.
BOTH: Whoa!
Squint: What is this?
I can't move!
G2: I guess glitches sometimes
do have their benefits.
Squint: Let me out! Hey!
Jungle bob: Get me out of here, will you!
G2: Looks like this case
is about wrapped up. Hey, I just made a joke.
Hmm.
Gadget: Gangway! Whoop... look out! Police emergency.
Coming through. Go, go, turbo speed. Whoop... excuse me.
g2: Gadget-mobile, we have to find
inspector gadget.
Gadgetmobile: No problem. Gadget homing device activated.
GADGET: Coming to
get you, claw. Go, go, gadget eject.
Brick: Huh!
He's on the roof!
Mickible: The roof?
Penny: Uncle gadget, help!
Claw: Mckible, get him off!
Mickible: Take some of that, gadget!
Gadget: Whoa!
Claw: Time to switch to plan "B"!
Gadget: Go, go, gadget can opener. Claw, stop the truck and come out with your claw up!
Claw: You know, gadget,
there's one true detective in your family,
and it isn't you. Too bad you didn't listen to her when you had the chance.
Gadget: Penny? Penny?
Claw: Now it's time
to say good-bye... to me and to your partner!
Penny: Uncle gadget, help!
Claw: She has 60 seconds!
PENNY: Help me!
Gadget: Don't worry, penny!
I'm coming! Who put that there?
PENNY: Uncle gadget, help!
Gadget: Penny?
Penny: Uncle gadget!
Gadget: Penny, are you okay?
Penny: Claw's getting away.
Gadget: Oh, that's not important
right now. Penny, you are the only
thing that matters to me.
Penny: Uncle gadget, the bomb... it's gonna explode!
Hurry!
Gadget: Go, go, gadget bolt cutter.
Penny: Hurry!
Gadget: Got it! Let's go!
g2: Oh, no.
Claw: I always like my gadget
well done.
G2: I got here too late.
GADGETMOBILE: They're
gone forever. It's the closest I've ever come to being a family car. (SOBBING) Why?
Penny: Uncle gadget? Uncle gadget? 
Gadget: Not to worry. I only landed on my head.
G2: They're alive.
Gadgetmobile: : They're alive!
They're alive!
g2: They're alive!
PENNY: Uncle gadget!
Gadget: Oh.
Penny: You saved my life.
Gadget: Oh, I was so worried about you.
G2: Good work,
penny.
Penny: Thanks, g2. Brain!
g2: Glad to see you still
fully functioning, gadget.
Gadget: Well, thank you, g2. Well, no time to celebrate now. We have to go catch claw. Let's go. I'll go this way.
GADGETMOBILE: Hang on.
I know a shortcut.
Gadget: Don't worry.
I'll handle this.
Claw: What? Gadget again? There's only one way
to deal with a pest. Mckible, run him over.
Mickible: One order of road kill
coming right up.
Gadget: Go, go, gadget bubble gum.
g2: Bubble gum?
Penny: Bubble gum?
GADGETMOBILE: Bubble gum?
(CLAW CACKLING) Missed us!
Mickible: Looks like gadget just
blew his last bubble.
GADGETMOBILE: I can't look.
Gadget: Here comes the good part.
(GRUNTS) Let's get
out of here!
Gadgetmobile: ow, that's what I call
a sticky situation.
Brick: What do we do now?
Mickible: We do what we always do.
Both: We surrender!
We surrender!
Gadget: Claw, come out with
your hand and your claw up!
Brick: What is that?
Mickible: Whoa. I never knew
we had one of those.
CLAW: You may have won
this round, but I'll get you
next time, gadget. 
Gadget:
Come on, come on. It's not responding.
Penny: He must've put in
his own security code.
g2: Well, then we'll
just destroy it.
Penny: No! Then everyone
will be frozen forever. We just have to think like claw. What kind of a code would
a super-villain put in?
Gadget: I got it. And I just lost it.
Penny: Hey, wait a minute.
I know. Let's try
"crime always pays." Not always, claw.
And for heroically foiling
Dr. claw and saving riverton,
Wilson: I would like to award
inspectors gadget and g2 these distinguished
conduct medals for their service to this city.
Baxter: Yay!
Wilson: Congratulations, gadget.
Quincy: And I'd like to announce that we are going to double the gadget unit's budget
for next year, so that if claw ever tries to show his face
in riverton again, we'll be ready for him.
Gadget: Excuse me, chief. If
I could just possibly... Even just for a second. The real secret to our success has always been teamwork, but there's
one member of our team who hasn't been
acknowledged yet. And so... For providing key support to members of the gadget team, I would like to award
this junior inspector medal to penny for her
meritorious conduct. I couldn't have done it
without you, penny. You are one special kid, and I'm proud
to have you as a partner.
Penny: Thanks, Uncle gadget.
Gadget: Yes, brain.
You're special, too.
GADGETMOBILE: Hello?
Anybody remember the internal combustion
member of the team? What am I, scrap metal?
I helped, too. Where's my citation? Hey, what are you doing, man? Oh, not that kind of citation.
Baxter: Good night, gadget. See you Monday.
Gadget: Good night, Baxter.
Night, Baxter.
Bye.
Penny: -Come on, brain.
-(BRAIN BARKS)
:G2: Inspector, I just wanted to say I may have been a bit premature in my eariler evauluation of your abilities.
:Inspector Gadget: Well, that's very bit of you, G2.
:G2: I was wrong to think of you as inept, clumsy, imbecilic...
:Inspector Gadget: Don't mention it.
:G2: Obsolete, simple-minded, malfunctioning...
:Inspector Gadget: Yes, yes, I get the picture.
:G2: Anyway, I look forward to more teamwork in the future.
:(Inspector Gadget and G2 shake hands and they have glowing hearts in their hats. They kiss and Inspector Gadget's hat is shooting fireworks)
Gadgetmobile: I just love happy endings.
Gadget: It must be a loose wire
or something. Well, I'll speak to Baxter
about that.
G2: Don't bother.
((A Firework blasts near Chief Quimby and Mayor Wilson)
:Chief Quimby, Mayor Wilson: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAADGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!
(ROSE FALCON'S "UP,
UP, UP" SONG PLAYING)
(INSPECTOR GADGET
THEME PLAYING)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Disney Transcripts
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