Kazuichi Soda

Kazuichi Soda is the biggest loser to mankind. He is so much of a loser that Junko Enoshima shoved him off to be on Evil Island because she wanted him dead. He is canonically the character you wish died a painful death during Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair, and is the character with the second-most carbonated beverage jokes, only beaten by the Coca-Cola Bear. His super-duper high school level talent is mechanizing. He has waged several wars against Teddie on who can be the most beta simp who ever simped.
==Childhood Life==
Kazuichi Soda began his life in a Coca-Cola can. Somehow Pepsiman snuck into the bottling facility and pissed life serum into one of the Cokes and this caused the cola to become sentient. Some man walked into the facility and shot Pepsiman dead for trespassing, however, the damage had already been done as a newborn was rapidly growing and breaking the womb of the pop can. This wasn't without complications, as all the sodas that day had to be thrown out, as well the fact he was quickly rushed to the hospital where he'd be pronounced dead on the spot, likely due to the can leaving an indent on his head.
Of course he didn't actually die that day because a Japanese scientist poured Japanese Coke into the IV, turning it into 5 and presumably fixing all that internal bleeding, and making him Japanese in the process. The scientist raised Kazuichi as his own child in Japan's largest city, Tokyo.
During his youth Soda would often drink soda and become fat. He would stalk women and would eat celery. He got bad scores on tests, except for the English ones because of his uniquely American fertilization. However after 26 years, it was time for him to stop living in his dad's basement. (He never had a mom to develop an Oedipus complex for, and we're saved from that episode of his life)
==Killing Life==
When Kazuichi Soda was bored one day he signed up for the draft to go to the War of 1812, unfortunately he got rejected but Junko Enoshima needed more slaves and thus hired him as a footrest to replace the wooden one she'd been using. For many years Soda was happy being a tool rather than a person, however Junko had to go to war with the rest of the Dangropians and thus she threw him onto Evil Island with the rest of her apostles.
On Evil Island he didn't do much except exclusively simp for Sonia Nevermind of the southern isles, to the dismay of our writers who didn't search through his search history to find that fetish of his out earlier. For most of this killing shame, he did nothing of value, and never built anything to get them off the island despite being the "Ultimate Mechanic".
After the end of the killing shame, he somehow survived, however, the disease that is his birth turned him into a Coca-Cola some time during his senior years. He would be drunk by none other than Boyfriend.
Category:Guys
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