Annoying Orange: Best Fiends Forever/Transcript

Orange: Hey! Hey, Rhubarb! Hey, Rhubarb, hey!
Celery: Uh, I'm not actually Rhubarb.
Orange: Hey, Rhubarb, are you on the clock?
Celery: What?
Orange: 'Cause I heard you get paid celery. [laughs]
Celery: Uh, I am Celery and either you quit calling me Rhubarb or I'm going to stop listening.
Orange: Whatever. You're all stalk and no action action. [laughs]
Celery: Not listening to you! See how easy it is? Real piece of cake.
Grapefruit: [Music changes to Grapefruit's music] Cake? More like rhubarb pie. [chuckles]
Orange: Oh great, it's Apefruit. What do you want?
Grapefruit: What? It's a free kitchen. I can hang out if I want to.
Orange: Why don't you make friends at your own house?
Grapefuit: What? Didn't Midget Munchkin give you the memo?
Orange: Memo? What's a memo?
Midget Apple: It's a little message, and I'm a Little Apple!
Marshmallow: Yay! You got mail!
Orange: Ooh, what does it say? Am I a millionaire?
Midget Apple: [clear throat] "Yo, yo, yo, listen up, dilweeds!"
Orange: We are listening. Just read the letter.
Midget Apple: I am reading the letter!
Orange: Forget it! Just skip to the memo!
Midget Apple: [growls] "All you lame-Os better watch your P's and mind your Q's. The greatest fruit of all fruitdom is moving into the kitchen. Sincerely, Grapefruit."
Grapefruit: [chuckles] Hey roomie, wanna rassle for the top bunk?
[Title card rolls in]
Grapefruit: After that, I usually hit the stair step to bulid some cardio then go grab a good sweat in the sauna to loosen up the muscles.
Celery: Wait, so who is this chap?
Midget Apple: Oh, that's Grapefruit. He had the hots for Passion Fruit, and then he got chopped up.
Celery: Chopped up?
Midget Apple: Uh-huh. By a big knife!
Marshmallow: Ooh-ooh, and then he got turned into a monster!
Celery: I've got to get out of here.
Grapefruit: Oh, shut up your pie-hole, rhubarb! [laughs]
Orange: That's like the fourth time you made that joke!
Grapefruit: Hey, just having some fun here, roomie.
Orange: [groans] Hey, hey Celery. Hey Celery hey!
Grapefruit: Whoa-whoa-whoa, you're doing all wrong!
Orange: No, I'm not!
Grapefruit: Yo Celery, guess what?
Celery: [growls] What?!
Grapefruit: Knife!
[Everybody screams except for Grapefruit, but Orange comes to realize that there is actually no knife]
Orange: Hey!
Grapefruit: Psych! [laughs]
Celery: That is not funny, man!
Orange: Yeah, we don't yell knife when there is no knife.
Midget Apple: Not cool, dude.
Grapefruit: Why don't you stop being such a baby baby apple? [laughs]
Midget Apple: That's Little Apple!
Grapefruit: You see what I did there, Orange? I called him baby.
Orange: You're an apple.
Grapefruit: Whoa, looks like you can't teach an old orange new tricks.
Marshmallow: Ooh! I love tricks! Especially when there's bunnies!
Grapefruit: Oh, what's this? A volunteer?
Orange: No, that's Marshmallow.
Grapefruit: Marshmallow, eh? More like cream puff! [laughs]
Midget Apple: Whoa-whoa-whoa, just leave Marshmallow out of this.
Grapefruit: Go bite a bottle, Baby Apple.
Midget Apple: I'm serious, look. Fun's fun, but trust me, you wouldn't like Marshmallow...when's he angry!
Marshmallow: [giggles]
Grapefruit: Oh yeah? Hey, sugar skull.
Marshmallow: Yay! Turn me into a bunny! Turn me into a bunny!
Grapefruit: Bunny? Sorry pal, but you're a "hare" off.
[laughter]
Grapefruit: Okay, that's enough with the laughing!
[Marshmallow laughs again]
Grapefruit: I got another joke here.
Marshmallow: Bunnies!
Grapefruit: Okay...
Marshmallow: Yay!
Grapefruit: Okay, that's enough!
Orange: Better give it up, Grapefruit. Nobody gets Marshmallow's goat.
Marshmallow: [gasps] I have a goat? Yay! I'm gonna feed him lollipops and old tin cans.
Grapefruit: Back off, Orange. I'm picking up where you dropped the ball. [a photo of a unicorn appears next to him] Hey, hey airhead. Check it out.
Marshmallow: Oh, that's my picture of Princess Butterflykiss.
Grapefruit: (flicks on a lighter) Yeah, (Puts the lighter in front of the photo) and that's my lighter. (Marshmallow gasps quietly) I heard Marshmallows love a campfire. [laughs]
Marshmallow: (weakly) Princess...Butterfly...kiss?
[Grapefruit continues laughing]
Marshmallow: [growling]
Midget Apple: Oh, that's it. I'm outta here. [whistles] (Grandpa Lemon appears riding on a motocycle) Don't say I didn't warn you.
(Grapefruit keeps laughing)
Midget Apple: Drop the hammer, Grandpa. We gotta catch some speed.
Grandpa Lemon: Geronimo!! (takes off)
Orange: Not a bright idea!
Grapefruit: What? Am I the only one with a sense of humor?
Celery: Guys, something's...something's happening to your friend.
Marshmallow: [growling in rage]
Orange: Whoa! Marshmallow's ready to pop.
[Meanwhile, outside, Grandpa Lemon, who has fallen asleep, and Midget Apple, pull up next to Pear, who is outside on the road wearing a sweat band]
Pear: Hey, guys. What are you doing out here?
Midget Apple: Pear, it's Grapefruit. He-- he--
[the camera zooms in]
Pear: Yeah, I know. Why do you think I went for a hike?
Midget Apple: No, you don't understand. He pushed Marshmallow...too far.
Pear: Well, what's the worst that could happen?
(the camera zooms back out to reveal the house)
Marshmallow: (from inside) NOBODY HURTS PRINCESS BUTTERFLYKISS!
[Suddenly, the house explodes. The windows blow out, with fire leaping from the inside. A hole is blasted through the roof. Grapefruit flies out screaming and lands on the road beside Pear]
Pear and Midget Apple: Whoa!
Orange: (from inside) Ow!
Pear: Oh no, Orange!
Orange: Ow! Oh...
Marshmallow: Uh-oh, did I do that? [giggles]
[end credits show]
Category:Transcript pages
Category:Shorts
Category:Season 3