Treehouse of Horror III/Quotes

== Clown Without Pity ==
:Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse...
:Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
:Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
:Homer: [relieved] That's good.
:Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
:Homer: [worried] That's bad.
:Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
:Homer: [relieved] That's good.
:Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate. [Homer stares, confused] That's bad.
:Homer: [worried] Can I go now?
----
:Grampa: That doll is evil, I tells ya. Evil! EVIL!!!
:Marge: Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.
:Grampa: [whines] I just want attention.
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:Homer: [singing] My baloney has a first name: it's H-O-M-E-R. My baloney has a second name: it's H-O-M-E-R...
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:Krusty doll: (covering Homer's eyes) Guess who, fat boy!
:Homer: Marge, Marge, look!
:Marge: Oh my god!
:Homer: The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughin' at me!
== King Homer ==
:Mr. Burns: All right, you big ape, get a snootful of this gas bomb! [he feebly throws the bomb a foot and gets a snootful himself; he starts singing] I was strolling through the gas one day...
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:Bart: Grandpa why don't you tell a story, you lead an interesting life.
:Grandpa: That's a lie and you know it!
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:Carl: Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island.
:Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
:Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
:Carl: Apes. But they're not so big.
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:Marge: My name is Marge Bouvier. I'm here about your ad. "Single white female wanted for mysterious expedition. Must like monkeys. Non-smoker preferred."
:Mr. Burns: Well, you'd be a welcome change of pace from the rest of these crude and uncouth sailors.
:Sailors: Arr Arrr Arr
:Mr. Burns: What do you think, Smithers?
:Smithers: I think women and sea men don't mix.
:Mr. Burns: We know what you think.
----
:Reporter: What kind of show you got for us, Mr. Burns?
:Mr. Burns: Well, the ape's going to stand around for 3 hours or so. Then we'll close with the ethnic comedy of Duggan and Dirschwitz.
:Reporter: Sensational!
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:Lenny: Hey Homer, cut it out! Come on! Quit eatin' me!
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:Mr. Burns: Ladies and gentlemen! In his native land he was a King! But he comes before you in chains for your own amusement! Presenting Homer! The Eighth Wonder of the World!
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:Barney: Hey monkey, want a peanut? [King Homer picks up and he eats all the peanuts] I said ONE!
== Dial "Z" for Zombies ==
:[the Simpsons head to the library to stop the spawn of zombies; they head out to the family sedan to get there]
:Ned Flanders: [incarnated into a zombie] Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your ear!?
:[Homer shoots him dead with his shotgun; Marge and Lisa gasp]
:Bart: Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!
:Homer: [confused] He was a zombie?
----
:Homer: Spare my family. Take me! Take me!
:[the zombies prepare to eat Homer's brain, but first they check if his brain's worth eating by tapping on his head; they promptly look for another target]
:Zombies: Brains! Brains!
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:Bart: From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, "Baby's First Pop-up Book" is 26 pages of alphabetic adventure!
:Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?
:Bart: Well, most of it.
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:Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
:Homer: Did you wreck the car?
:Bart: No
:Homer: Did you raise the dead?
:Lisa: Yes!
:Homer: But the car's okay?
:Lisa and Bart: Uh-huh.
:Homer: All right then.
----
:Lisa: Bart, you cast the wrong spell! Zombies!
:Bart: Please, Lis, they prefer to be called the 'living impaired'.
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:Groundskeeper Willie: [using shovel to smooth fresh dirt] There! Pretty as a picture. [zombies burst from dirt patch] [startled] Ah! Zombies! [zombies walk by, ignoring him; he turns and uses shovel to smooth dirt patch again] There! Pretty as a picture.
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:Bart: I thought dabbling in the Black Arts would be good for a chuckle, how wrong I was. I should have never read that book.
:Lisa: Wait Bart, maybe the library has another book that will reverse the spell?!
:Marge: It's our only hope!
:Homer: [cocking a shotgun] To the book depository!
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:Homer: [while attacking the zombies] Take that, Washington! Eat lead, Einstein! Show's over, Shakespeare!
:Shakespeare: Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?
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:Homer: [turns on radio; music plays]
:Radio DJ: KZMB, all zombie radio. [zombies moan]
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:[Kang and Kodos observe Earth from their saucer]
:Kodos: Those zombies have the Earthlings on the run.
:Kang: Soon the human race will wither and fall, like the Earth plums we have seen on the Observe-o-Scope.
:[they laugh maniacally]
----
:Marge: Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies.
:Bart: Shh. TV. [on TV, there's a thud and audience laughter is heard]
:Homer: Man fall down. Funny.
:Family: [moans like zombies in unison]
es:Treehouse of Horror III/Frases
Category:Treehouse of Horror
Category:Treehouse of Horror quotes