Old Man

:This article is about the insane old man that speaks cryptically to protagonists. For the insane old man that speaks cryptically to protagonists, see Old Man.
The Old Man is a mysterious, unnamed man that travels the world imparting words of wisdom upon children he finds in parks. He is known to travel on his flying $1000 bicycle, but due to an incident involving his second wife, the bike lacks a kickstand. The Old Man often speaks of his experiences in life, including his current wife, Old Woman. The Old Man strongly believes that people should love everybody else like brothers and sisters, since he is, unbeknownst to others, really the father of every person in the world. 
The Old Man is also a prophet and is the start of the rumors of the end of the world in 2012. Because of this impending doom, he believes that people should resolve all their problems and hug each other. Xykeb Zraliv has encountered the Old Man one time, but it is believed that the Old Man follows every member of the Pansy Family.
== Theories ==
Theory warning: This section contains theoretical infomercials based on the hopes and dreams of exactly one other user. It has not been officially verified by Orlando Bloom. It has, however, been unofficially verified, so its factual accuracy is disposed of.
The Old Man believes that Xykeb Zraliv is incestuous. This theory is backed up by the Old Man's white hair, which means he is a member of every mysterious race ever. Also, Guy Montag is a Blade Brother. So that's funny too.
Theory warning: Theories may or may not end here. Many people speculate that they do, but others argue that the theory of the theoretical end of the theories is in itself a theory. What was topic again?
Category:Deities