GAZA

"GAZA" is a short in the Bigfoot Cinematic Universe written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway and released on October 29, 2023. It won Short of the Year at the 11th Square Logo Awards.
==Synopsis==
Mr. Gus is at the to vote on the proposed ceasefire in the .
==Transcript==
[The episode starts in at the . Mr. Gus is sitting with of and of . Gus is wearing a name tag that says “MR. GUS | CHIEF MINISTER OF bloons”. He is writing notes about the speech being made by President Joe Biden of the .]
Joe Biden: [wearing a turban] Listen, what we need to do is call for an immediate ceasefire. 
[Half of the UN General Assembly stands up and cheers, then sits back down as Joe takes off the turban and puts on a hood.]
Biden: [wearing a Klan hood] Kill all Arabs!
[The other half stands up and cheers, welcoming Joe as he takes off the Klan hood and sits on a fence in the middle of the room. He places shades onto his eyes and lights a cigarette. World leaders start caressing his hips.]
Rishi Sunak (Prime Minister of the ): Isn’t he so handsome?
 of : Back off, he’s mine!
Sunak: Nuh-uh, I got to him first!
[Sunak clenches Joe’s leg towards him.]
Salman: But all his oil comes from me!
Biden: You got that right, Sally.
[Suddenly, the shriek of a woman is heard near the podium stand in the General Assembly. All of the world leaders, except Mr. Gus and the Prime Minister of , all look to her attention.]
Woman: Help me! My rights are being stripped away by the government!
[The look away in disinterest.]
Woman: [clears throat] Also I have a penis.
[The rest of the Assembly except Joe Biden look away in disinterest.]
Woman: I am in clear need of wokeness! [high-pitched voice] Oh, I can barely handle the problematic uncomfy [deep voice] encroaching on [high-pitched voice] my and [deep voice] my basic human rights.
[Fanfare plays as Joe Biden takes a can from his front suit pocket labelled “LIBERAL SUPPLEMENTS”, downing three of the pills that were in it. Suddenly, like , he grows massive muscles, tearing his suit and revealing a flashy superhero costume with a codpiece and the logo of the printed on his top. Using his cape and now massive fists, he flies over to the woman near the podium.]
Biden: [deep Superman voice] I’ll save you, Ms. Cock and Balls! 
[He stands in front of her pounding his chest, as the wall behind him shatters, revealing a set of red curtains, which roll back, showing a set of what seems to be a war-torn, deserted refugee camp. Three children stand on the set as Biden carries the woman back to the fence he was sitting on. Jaunty piano music starts to play, as the children break into song.]
Palestinian Kid #1: [singing] We have no food or drink…
Palestinian Kids #2 and #3: [singing] OH NO!
Palestinian Kid #2: Not a bedroom or a sink…
Palestinian Kids #1 and #3: FO’ SHO!
Palestinian Kid #3: [who has an incredible, deep singing voice for no reason] But that’s okay because I know it’s gonna be alriiiiight! Because…
Palestinian Kids: Joe Biden, oh, Joe Biden!
For us, he brings misery, we haven’t seen our dads in weeks!
Joe Biden, oh, Joe Biden!
But for American minorities, I’m sure he’ll treat you properly!
Palestinian Kid #1: He won’t do anything…
Palestinian Kids: Sys-sys-systematic!
Palestinian Kid #1: But he sure won't do anything...
Palestinian Kids: Prob-prob-problematic!
Palestinian Kid #2: Oh, he’s got the draft Tweet and it’s about and you best believe it’s…
Palestinian Kids: Aut-aut-automatic!
Palestinian Kids: Oh, Joe Biden, he’ll always be by your side
Palestinian Kid #3: If you don’t read the text at the bottom line that says…
Palestinian Kids: Genocide is okay!
, President of : [spoken] I agree with that.
Palestinian Kids: If it’s committed by our allies, or goes against Iran
Genocide is okay!
, Prime Minister of : [spoken, raising a toast] Hear, hear!
Palestinian Kids: If it’s a group I can’t describe as white, or might help us make bank, because…
[A boy-band-looking guy wearing a suit and shades swoops in onto the set like and starts speaking in a rich voice with a smooth rhythm.]
Guy: Genocide is really, uh… a financial issue if you think about it, uh-huh. ‘Cause, uh, you don’t want pesky ethnic groups fuckin’ up the money. Nah, you don’t want no-one fuckin’ up the money, know what I mean? So, uh… think about this: what’s better to do, babe? Talk to me. Do a lil’ eradication? Take a lil’ vacation? Go to the and start jerkin’ ‘em off until, [moans] ejaculation? Sounds good, don’t you think? 
[The music comes to an abrupt halt.]
Guy: 7,000 civilians dead. 
[Silence.]
Guy: [kind of singing] And now the music gon’ come back like nothing was ever said.
[It doesn’t.]
Guy: Huh? Where’s the music?
[A man yells out from the audience.]
Man: Throw his ass off stage, he’s a–
[The smooth-talking guy ducks as the guy rapidly fires rounds from his machine gun onto the set, but the screen turns to black before we can see the bodies of the children killed. The end credits to the SpongeBob episode “Shell of a Man” play, and the short ends.]
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:2023 Transcripts
Category:2023 Shorts
Category:Shorts
Category:War
Category:Politics
Category:Religion
Category:Bigfoot Cinematic Universe