Courtly Love (CPaH)

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Some poets and philosophers of the feudal era believed that true romance (or "courtly love") could only exist outside the bonds of matrimony. Marriage, they felt, substituted obligation and duty for honest emotion. (A DM's campaign, however, can allow for romance and marriage to go hand-in-hand.) For the paladin, courtly love may be defined as a yearning of the spirit, a passion that is never fulfilled.
The object of a paladin's courtly love (whom we'll call the beloved) represents all that is good and pure. She is less a person than a romantic ideal, like a character in a poem or a dream. Often, the beloved is an unobtainable, unapproachable person, such as the spouse of a friend or the offspring of a monarch. The paladin may have never even met her, merely watched her from afar.
Whether the beloved returns the paladin's affection, or even knows of it, is irrelevant. Often, the paladin keeps his feelings a secret, believing himself spiritually inferior to his beloved and unwilling to burden her with his wretched attentions. In any case, the paladin remains utterly devoted to the beloved, pledging eternal fidelity and shunning all others.
==Rules for Courtly Love==
A DM may permit PC paladins to experience courtly love. Courtly love adds a dimension of romantic tragedy to the paladin's life, consuming him with the exquisite agony of unfulfilled passion.
Any paladin PC may succumb to courtly love. A paladin typically fixates on his beloved early in his career, say, any time before he reaches 5th level. He usually remains true to his beloved for the rest of his life.
Courtly love persists regardless of changes in the paladin's circumstances or those of the beloved. He stays in love with her even if he marries (if courtly love transcends marriage, which might otherwise be seen as an ethos violation), the beloved marries (which can actually enhance courtly love's tragic overtones), or the beloved dies (courtly love for the truly inaccessible is perhaps the "purest" love of all). A paladin will never have more than a single beloved at the same time, nor will he ever abandon one beloved for another.
The paladin's beloved can be any attractive NPC of the opposite gender, preferably of high Charisma (at least 15 or so) and lawful good alignment. Ideal beloveds include characters of high social or economic status (aristocrats, government officials, high-level paladins, and affluent landowners), princes and princesses, celebrities (renowned poets, scholars, and mages), and the spouses of kings and queens (a situation not without peril, as Sir Galahad learned too late).
Courtly love should arise naturally from the events in the campaign. The paladin may first lay eyes on his beloved across the room at a formal banquet or spot her in the audience at a jousting tournament. She may be among the survivors he rescues from a sinking ship. Or she may simply approach him for directions to the nearest inn, smile in thanks, then mount her horse and ride away. A fleeting glance or a chance meeting is all that's required for the paladin to become hopelessly smitten.
A paladin himself may choose his own beloved and declare his love. This declaration is equivalent to an ethos vow; the paladin must remain true to his beloved from that moment onward. Alternately, the DM may force the issue by observing the paladin's behavior. If the paladin seems unusually attracted to a particular NPC—asking about her, staring longingly at her, fawning over her—the DM should point out that the paladin is exhibiting early signs of courtly love. If the paladin persists, the DM may declare that the NPC has become the paladin's beloved. If he likes, the DM may require the paladin to make a Charisma check. If the check fails, courtly love exists. If the check succeeds, the paladin has resisted courtly love for the time being. If the paladin continues to fawn over the NPC, the DM may require another Charisma check at a later time.
Behavior: Courtly love involves the beloved only indirectly. Rarely will a paladin confront his beloved with his feelings. For the most part, he keeps his obsession to himself, resigned to worshipping his beloved from afar. He expresses his devotion symbolically, tries to learn as much about her as he can, and luxuriates in any opportunity to bask in her presence. In a campaign, a paladin might demonstrate courtly love in any of the following ways:
* He composes songs and poems in the beloved's honor.
* He champions the beloved at a tournament.
* He arranges for anonymous gifts to be delivered to the beloved.
* He attaches a lock of the beloved's hair to his shield, or places a scrap of material from her dress under his armor, next to his heart.
* If he hears anyone speak dishonorably about his beloved, he challenges them to retract the statement or fight a duel to the death.
* He arranges for an invitation to a banquet or party where his beloved will be. (And most likely, he spends the night on the opposite side of the room, too embarrassed to speak to her or even go near her.)
* He interviews at length anyone who has information about his beloved, no matter how trivial.
* He goes out of his way to visit places of significance to his beloved (the town of her birth, her school, a favorite lake).
Penalties and bonuses: Although expressions of courtly love mainly involve role-playing, the DM may wish to impose penalties and bonuses in certain situations. For instance, any of the following circumstance may fuel the paladin with so much joy that he benefits from a +1 or +2 bonus to ability checks, attack rolls, or damage rolls, for anywhere from a few hours to a few days. The DM decides the nature of the bonuses and their duration, depending on the intensity of the circumstance that triggered them.
* The beloved innocently smiles at the paladin from across a room.
* The beloved sends a thank-you note for a gift.
* The beloved congratulates the paladin on an outstanding performance at a tournament.
* At a party or banquet, the beloved approaches the paladin and engages him in a brief conversation about nothing in particular.
* The beloved gives the paladin her handkerchief or glove.
Conversely, a painful experience may result in overwhelming heartbreak, longing, or despair, persisting for a few hours or several days, as determined by the DM. During that time, the paladin may suffer penalties of –1 or –2 to ability checks, attack rolls, or damage rolls. Triggering situations may include:
* A lock of hair, a scrap of cloth, or other memento of the beloved is lost or stolen.
* The beloved spurns or ignores the paladin at a banquet or party.
* The paladin champions the beloved at a tournament, but loses his match.
* The beloved announces her engagement to someone else.
* The beloved is injured or becomes ill.
Ethos penalties: A vow of courtly love is as binding as any component of a paladin's ethos. Should a paladin betray his beloved by speaking badly of her, breaking a promise to her, snubbing her gestures of friendship, or—worst of all—succumbing to the charms of another, he has committed an ethos violation. The DM should select an appropriate punishment from the suggestions in Chapter 3.
Covert romance: On occasion, the beloved may reciprocate the paladin's affections. If so, the couple may embark on a romance. They may express their love openly, but more likely, they'll choose to keep their relationship secret. Covert lovers take pains to arrange clandestine meetings, avoid signing letters to each other, and exchange nondescript gifts so as not to attract attention.
The discovery of an illicit romance may result in severe consequences for both the beloved and the paladin. The beloved's family might object to their affair, or differences in their status make their romance socially unacceptable. To keep the couple apart, the beloved's family may relocate to a distant land. The family may demand restitution to compensate for their humiliation. A secret affair may constitute an ethos violation for the paladin, particularly if he's covering up his activities or romancing a person engaged to someone else (the paladin's feelings may be so strong that he's willing to suffer an ethos penalty just to be near his beloved).
Should the paladin wed his beloved, all benefits, penalties, and other conditions associated with courtly love will gradually disappear, replaced with the more stable and less volatile feelings associated with marriage. The reappearance of courtly love for a married paladin can be considered a major ethos violation.