Runelords 31.1 - Different Person

Virgil walked out to the edges of the small town, wandering, his expression placid and pace slow. It didn’t take him too long to catch a whiff of something in the air: rot. Following the overpowering smell away from the beaten path, he could feel his stomach turning as he got closer. Swallowing his disgust, he found Luna, sitting in a large clump of tall grass, looking up. As he got closer, she turned to look, and with a small frown of recognition, she turned back up towards the sky: it was raining, and there was nothing to see in the dark night but clouds and drops of water.
“Hey,” he greeted, smiling gently.
“What do you want?” she asked bluntly, not looking over.
“Couple things, I guess,” he said, pushing the grass out of the way. “Do you mind if I join you?”
“It’s not like I could ever get rid of you if I wanted,” she said, a hard note in her voice. It did nothing to deter his small smile, and he sat down beside her in the wet grass. They were silent for a few seconds before she asked, “So, what?”
“Well...I guess my first question is, how was the reservoir?”
She didn’t look over, “What, Aldern’s explanation wasn’t good enough?”
Virgil looked sheepish, “I, heh, we were more concerned about other topics when he came in, and I, I kind of left to check on Khyr before I remembered to ask.” She rolled her eyes in exasperation, and he continued, “So, were the Few still there? Or is everything gone?”
“...No. No, the vat was still there…” she said, dropping her gaze from the clouds to the grass. “...They were there too though. I...I don’t know what’s going on.”
He looked concerned, “Didn’t you ask? I mean, they should recognize you. You’ve met the hospital managers before, you told me…”
“That’s not what I meant,” she cut him off. “I mean, from the shore, everything looked normal! But, in the lake, there’s all this...seaweed stuff,” she gestured wildly with her hands, “growing everywhere, really thick. It wasn’t there before. And there’s this...shimmer barrier? And it’s like everything past it is moving really slow? Temporally? It’s a spell that slows down everything inside it!” Her sharp, angry tone had given way quickly to a face-paced panic, “And there were some managers there, but they were stuck in the seaweed and pulling at it and cutting it but it was growing too fast for them to make headway, so they can’t even really get at the vat, which is still there?? And I tried to go in and see them and then I lost like four hours in a minute and Aldern was worried about something being really off there and there wasn’t anything we could do so we left.” She huffed and leaned down heavily on her knees, burying her mouth in her arms as she glared into the distance. 
Virgil looked worriedly at her, and pursed his lips as he considered what she had told him. Eventually, he asked, “Was the Director there?”
“I don’t know, maybe? I only saw some on the lakebed, but there were a lot of weeds there...”
“Nothing on the shore though?”
“No. It looked deserted.”
“Did they look like they were trying to escape? Were they acting frightened, or desperate?”
She considered that, but shook her head, “...No. They just looked like they were trying to get at the vat, and the going was slow. I don’t know if they realized the time delay though; you couldn’t really tell inside it.”
Thinking deeply, he eventually reasoned, “Well, if the Director was there, he wouldn’t be on the lakebed. He’d be guiding them from the shore; I really can’t see him going in there himself unless he had to. You’d notice him. If they aren’t struggling, and there weren’t a lot of them there, then...I guess it’s not something to worry about? I mean, they’re the Few, right? If they thought they were in trouble, they’d be doing a lot more to get themselves out of it, right?” He looked at Luna, waiting for a response as though he needed assurance. 
Eventually, she nodded, “...Yeah. You’re right. They weren’t acting like they were upset. They’d have sent more and would be trying to get themselves out if they thought it was a problem…”
“And if one of them thought it was a problem, they’d all be thinking that,” he added, smiling. “Besides...heh, if the Few can’t get out of a problem, we probably aren’t going to be much help.” At that statement, Luna made a disappointed huff and sank further into her arms, what little left visible of her expression surly. Virgil frowned softly, and sighed. 
The two sat silently for a few long seconds before Luna said, not particularly kindly, “So? How’d your end go? I suppose it went well, or you would have started with that.”
“Heh. Yeah,” he said. “I got pretty mauled, honestly, and I’m probably going to wake up feeling awful tomorrow. But no one died.” 
“Except the ghast,” she said flatly.
“Yeah…” he replied slowly, dropping his gaze with some shame. “...I guess that’s one of the things I wanted to ask about.”
“What?”
“The amulet. He’s wearing one, and none of us really know what would happen if we took it off, or if we should try and wake him up, or if his soul would be stuck in it forever, or anything all about it really…”
The woman sat pensively for a moment before reaching into her shoulder bag, laying on the grass nearby. Pulling out the battered book Zara, she asked aloud, “Did you hear that? What would happen?”
It is a moot point, the book intoned in Luna’s mind, because there is no way feeble fey nonsense could replicate that medallion’s power.
Luna blinked and turned to Virgil, “Did you check the medallion? Zara says that there’s no way it replicated properly.”
This question gave the man pause. “...Ha! I didn’t check. I was joking to Khyr earlier that I swear I only ever remember a third of the magic I can do on any given day. I totally forgot. Heh heh.”
She blinked slowly at him, “...How have you survived to this age?” 
“That is a question only the gods can answer,” he said, grinning. His face became sombre as he thought, and he asked, “...I have the body in my bag of holding, to make sure that it remained sequestered until it could be buried in a consecrated spot tomorrow. Should I retrieve the medallion, or would that be upsetting?”
“Oh, don’t patronize me. I know it’s not Aldern; bring it out,” she snapped, shuffling herself around to face him properly. He nodded solemnly, and pulled his backpack off. Opening it and laying it on the ground, he reached in and carefully pulled out the top half of the bisected corpse of the ghast they had killed in the Shimmerglen. Rotted and filthy from the swamp, the body was in much worse condition but was still unmistakably Aldern Foxglove, wearing the same outfit he had been wearing the day they had all first unwittingly wandered into the strange mire. Mostly hidden beneath her scarf, Luna pursed her lips distastefully, and Virgil gave her a sidelong glance of sorrow before casting Detect Magic.
A few seconds later, he gave up his focus. He chuckled and Luna looked at him flatly, waiting for an explanation as he reached into his bag and pulled out a rapier, casting the spell once more. “Ha! No, she’s right. There’s no magic in any of his things.” He held the sword up, investigating it more closely, “They’re good copies. This is still a good sword. But it’s not enchanted.”
Luna turned back towards the body, her eyes staring pointedly at the medallion embedded in his bony sternum, small hooks embedding it in his putrefying flesh. Leaning in closely, adjusting her glasses and running her finger along the edge of it, she nodded, “Yeah...I mean, I can tell it’s not right, but I spent hours staring at it under a magnifying glass. It’s not a bad copy from a distance.” Virgil nodded, and Luna thanked Zara before placing her away in her satchel once more. As Virgil placed the body back into his own bag, Luna looked at it passively. “...So, you’re burying it?”
“Yeah, the mayor is going to consecrate a place tomorrow morning, and we’ll bury him properly.”
“...That’s good,” she said simply, and Virgil nodded. When he didn’t immediately leave, she glanced sidelong towards him, “What? What else do you want?”
He sighed softly through his nose, his expression sorrowful. Shaking his head slowly, he asked, “...Do you know anything, about the third one?”
“Why would I?” she snapped. 
“All I’m wondering is, does the third one pose a risk to people?” he said as gently as possible. “We can’t figure anything out for certain, and Aldern claims to not know anything at all, but, I can’t just let someone get away with murder, if that’s what they’re doing. We couldn’t leave this iteration, because he was murdering the kobolds, obviously attacking travelers, and had no qualms about getting out and killing anyone he crossed paths with.”
“Yes, I get it, what’s your point?” she snapped again. “I never once said not to destroy it. I would have helped, if it wasn’t going to order me to kill you all too.”
Virgil nodded, but continued, “But you said there were three. Aldern said there were three. If they were made because Aldern said he ‘didn’t want to be afraid’, then the other two have to be parts of him that frightened him, don’t they? Fey aren’t usually very deep creatures; they usually use simple misinterpretations. One copy was the madness of undeath; that was the creature we destroyed. But what is the other one? What else frightened Aldern about himself?”
She said flatly, staring into the middle distance, “I don’t know. He doesn’t talk about it.”
He sighed, “I just...can’t let a murderer run free. It’s bad enough that I have all of the kobold deaths on my hands from a ghast that my actions let loose, so I can’t just ignore the other one, if he’s posing a threat to people. But we can’t stop going after the army in Jorgenfist either.” Luna rubbed heavily at her face at this statement. Virgil continued, “If this third Aldern, the second duplicate, if he exists...well, if he was killing in the Shimmerglen like the other one, then he’s probably still trapped there. When Melinda comes to market in a few days, she can let the mayor know if the attacks stopped or not, and we can deal with it when we get back, if the mayor can’t. That’s, really the best we can do right now, if we’re looking at the bigger picture. But if it’s something more subtle, some other trait that scared Aldern, then it’s possible that whoever this man is, he just walked out like Aldern did. He could be anywhere, doing anything. We don’t know who he is, what he wants, or what he’s capable of. The ghast we fought had no interest in talking, so we don’t even know if it was a full being, with memories and personality beyond what was ostensibly gutted from Aldern, or if it was nothing more than hunger and violence made manifest. It did know how to speak, enough to threaten us, but who knows at this point. We know even less about the other one, and if it was something that frightened Aldern, we have to assume it’s not likely up to anything good.”
“You don’t know that,” she retorted flatly.
“We don’t,” he agreed.
She was quiet for a few beats, “So, what? What are you planning on doing? Hunting it down? Then what?”
“We can’t really go running around looking for him when there’s an army mustering that we have to undermine. We have to hope that whatever he’s doing, it’s nothing immediately harmful. After that...I guess we need to track him down somehow, and find out who he is, what he’s doing, and just...make sure he’s living a decent life.”
“And kill him if he’s not?” she asked dryly, still staring off into the middle distance.
He sighed heavily, “If he’s killing people like a monster, he will be treated like a monster. If he’s living like a man, he will be judged and tried as a man. If he’s doing nothing wrong, he can keep doing whatever he likes. And if he needs help, we’ll give him that too. I mean, spirits, he was just abandoned in the swamp. He shares a name and face with Aldern Foxglove, but he doesn’t have any of the magic that’s keeping...our version of Aldern, looking healthy. If he’s a perfectly reasonable man, then I feel like shit for accidentally stranding him here.” He sighed again, “But, the fact is, he had days to meet us in Turtleback after he came into existence and he didn’t, so there must be a reason. Maybe he didn’t want to reveal himself to us particularly because he thought that we wouldn’t consider him the real Aldern, and that we might judge him for it. Maybe he’s avoiding all settlements, because he doesn’t have a disguise anymore. Maybe he’s purposefully gone somewhere else. Maybe he doesn’t have any memories, and he’s wandering confused. We just...don’t know anything, other than the fact that he’s out there. Aldern claims he doesn’t know anything. Do you?”
Luna sat silently for a long moment. Rain fell gently, soaking both of them, but only Virgil shivered slightly in his coat. “...He said, once…” she spoke quietly, thinking of something, “after the clock tower...that he had always blacked out. He’d black out, but he’d wake up later having done things he couldn’t remember. Long before he was undead.” Virgil considered her with all seriousness as she spoke, “I don’t study psychology. Never thought it would be useful,” she said dispassionately, “but I think I read about split personalities once. People who pass out, and a completely separate entity they’ve made up takes over. They don’t remember what they do, and they can act completely differently during that time. Happens after trauma, as a way of dealing with it, I think.”
“...So…” he reasoned, “if there were two other versions made by the fey…and he was scared of blacking out, or, blacking out because he was scared...then there were two other personalities, and the fey divorced them from him and made them their own bodies…” He pondered that, “That makes a certain amount of sense…”
She carried on his thoughts, “If there are only two, I’d guess that he made up a personality originally to deal with his parents dying, and maybe another one when he became a ghast.”
He nodded, “The ghast-born personality could deal with the pain by just becoming a ravenous monster. That’s usually what happens: wild ghouls aren’t mindless, but they’re extremely compulsed to eat, and are forced to fully embrace the desperate hunger.”
“But because he already had split personalities, he could go insane, without going entirely insane,” she mused. “That desperate need to eat the living was made separate, and spared his core personality from being traumatized by the violence.”
“And that’s the one we fought. Undead hunger incarnate.” Virgil nodded thoughtfully, “But...what about the other personality? The one from before?”
“I guess, that’s the other duplicate,” she said. 
The two sat quietly, musing on the nature of this mysterious personality, but it was obvious neither had much more insight than what they had already said aloud. “I suppose…” Virgil eventually offered, “that there’s one good thing about this.”
“What.”
“Aldern’s free,” he said, prompting her to look over slightly towards him. He smiled, “If what we guess is actually the case, then those were the compulsions. They should be gone now. He really doesn’t have to worry: he won’t black out anymore, or lose control. He can go home, and none of us need to worry that he might snap again.” Luna himmed in acknowledgement, but made no other comment, or effort to look at him. “...I think…” he said slowly, “...that he wants to. Go back to Medinipur. Now, rather than later.” Her expression hardened, just slightly, but Virgil explained, “We thought that, maybe that other Aldern, the third one...maybe he just hightailed it back to Medinipur. And Aldern panicked. He wants to go back, in case.”
“...”
“I can see why he’s worried,” he said. “And I don’t begrudge it. He’s no warrior. He’s not made for this. There’s no reason to make him stay.”
“We need his help,” she said bluntly.
“We appreciate his help,” he corrected. “But, when you’re this far deep in the red, when the powers are this mismatched...it’s silly, to say that you need the help. We’re short-staffed and underpowered with him or without him.” He thought for a moment before saying, “It makes sense. The country, the continent’s governance and peace being at stake...I think it’s too much for him to really grasp. That’s fair. It’s not something a lot of people can grasp, and there has been an awful lot of incomprehensible crap thrown at him in the last few months. But the concept of someone stealing everything you own, trying to take your life, that’s easy. And you could see that threat scared him more than nearly anything else we’ve faced together. Because the rest of it is so beyond him, he can’t deal with it. But this is something he can deal with, so he wants to, and he’s not wrong. So, if he wants to go back to Medinipur, to protect himself and his life there: good for him. I don’t begrudge him. None of us do.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying,” he said, a tinge of something in his voice. “I’ve adventured for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of people come and go. I’ve seen a lot of reasons for people to come and go. I’ve seen more hardened people than Aldern take different paths than people thought they should, with stakes a lot higher than these, and those people were never wrong for doing what they did. I won’t begrudge them that.” 
She was quiet, “...So, Aldern’s leaving then. Going back to Medinipur instead of Jorgenfist.”
“Probably, yes.” He paused again, looking away to the horizon, before he asked, “...Can you go with him?”
At this question, Luna slowly swiveled her head around to look at him, her eyes holding a flatness that threatened to erupt into anger. “...What?”
He sighed through his nose heavily, closing his eyes and steeling himself before he explained, “There are a few reasons, and the one that’s most important is the one you least want to hear, but please, please listen to me first, because you’re an intelligent person and I know what I’m going to say has logic to it. Please.” She said nothing but continued to glare, so he continued, “First: I’m sure he’d like you to go with him. And I’m sure you’d like to go too. You’ve obviously gotten close, and I’m sure you’d like to spend some time with him that’s not getting constantly interrupted by us idiots. Two: from a pure perspective of logic, we can’t bring the stone with us into Jorgenfist. That would be the height of stupidity. People died for it, and they obviously want it badly enough to kill, so we can’t leave it unguarded either. It’s not fair to leave it with the three Black Arrows, and I’m not sure how well they could guard it if people came for it in any case. I do think, however, if you and Aldern keep it on the move, in a place they probably wouldn’t expect to look for it, the road between here and Medinipur, then you stand a very good chance of protecting it. The best one we have, probably.” Luna pursed her lips behind her scarf; the logic of this argument was sound. He sighed, and let a few beats pass by quietly, marked only by the rain. “...And, I’d like you to go...because I’m worried about you…” he said quietly, gaze towards the grass, obviously expecting reprimand. “I’m not saying anything bad about you. I’m not saying that you haven’t been an invaluable help, or that you can’t handle yourself or anything at all like that. I just...I’ve seen a lot of people adventure. And I think, maybe you need a break, for a little bit.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she said, her voice holding a note of derision. 
He sighed slightly again, his hesitant expression obviously intent on trying to avoid offense. “You’ve been really edgy lately. Angry, and short. It’s not like you. You’ve had to go through a lot of terrible things lately. Death, and battle, and stress, and it’s not good for anyone. People handle it differently, and I’m worried...I’m just worried about you.”
“What are you worried about me for?!” she said bitterly. “I’m fine. Worry about yourself.”
“I’m not worried about myself, Luna,” he replied, “because I’m already so broken and messed up that there’s nothing left to do about me. There’s nothing to be done about Khyr, and, I’m not sure what can be done to help Eamon. But I’ve known you for a while, Luna, and I know you’re not acting like yourself. I’ve seen people do it before, and I...I just, I’m worried. Worried that you’re going to stand back one day, and realize you don’t like where you’ve gone, and the person you’ve become.” He looked to her, and he had a smile that was small and poignantly melancholic, “You’re a good person, and it’s your job to tell me what’s right, right?”
She glared at him for another moment, before folding her arms up over her knees, curling into an angry ball. She hissed angrily, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” her tone plainly conveying a vehement interest in changing the topic.
Virgil’s gaze drifted back down towards the dirt. Rain fell softly, splashing against their coats and hair. “...Aldern told us what you did…” She clenched her arms harder, stiffening as a retort formed itself on her tongue, ready to be shouted. “He said you took things away from him, to make him more human.” He never brought up his eyes, and there was almost something timid in his voice, so afraid he was of upsetting her, but he spoke anyways, “If that was a gesture of kindness to him, it was extremely magnanimous of you. To make yourself less human for his benefit. Because, you were always afraid of being less human. Hated people seeing you as undead, even though they already knew.” Something twitched in her expression as he said that, but she held her tongue. “But you’re stronger than Aldern. I know you are. So you took his burden. And that’s...really kind of you.” He took a breath, and she continued to glare at him venomously. “I...worry...though…” he said with extreme slowness. “That...you did that...right after the battle. You went to Medinipur and back, for supplies you said. That’s what you went for, the things to cast that spell, because it had to be a spell, right? Which means...you didn’t look up that spell before the battle, or you could have bought the things you needed when we were in Medinipur before. Why, were you looking up a spell like that then, and not two months ago? And, why was it so important to do right then, and not after all of this is done, when everyone is settled?”
She glared at him and stuttered out, “Be-because! This isn’t any of your business! I learned about it then because I did! And I did it then because I could! This has nothing to do with you, even though I know you think everything does, so keep your nose out of it!!”
“Ok! Ok…” he said, wincing. “Just...please…” He sighed heavily through his nose, steeling himself again, “A lot of people who adventure, start to feel like they aren’t strong enough. The pressure and the danger and the loss...a lot of people start to feel like they need more power, that they have to have more power, or they won’t beat whatever they’re fighting against. And, to get it...sometimes, they start to bend. They change their priorities, their morals. And they wake up one day to realize that they aren’t the same person anymore: that what they cared about doesn’t matter, or that they can’t take back the things they’ve done.” He looked over to her, his eyes almost pleading, “You care so much about other people. You care so much about doing the right thing, about being a good person. I know you do, you’ve told me. Don’t throw that away, because of what’s happening right now. I know it’s bad now, but in a year, five, ten, fifty, two hundred years, it will be better and you’ll never have had to fight anyone again, but you’re going to remember what you did to get power right now, and gods forbid you gave up on yourself to do it. Because it’s hard to get yourself back.” He looked down, and his expression was sad, “Sometimes, you can’t get yourself back…”
Luna’s voice was shrill as she spat, “I don’t even know you’re talking about! I don’t know why you’re trying to get rid of me again! Why do you even pretend you know what you’re talking about? You, of all people?”
He shut his eyes, and asked, “I know I’m messed up. I know I have fucked morals. And I know I can’t tell right and wrong in a lot of cases. But, Luna…” He turned to her, and there was a deep gravity in his voice and eyes as he asked, “Can you swear to me, that for whatever reason you looked up a spell that let you steal powers from other people, that you would never, ever consider using it on someone unwillingly? Even if it was a crazed undead, that we might have to destroy anyways?” Her eyes widened slightly as he asked this, and he finished, “Because even I know that’s wrong, Luna. You know it’s wrong. And if you’re feeling like that’s something you might have to do, please, please step back for a bit. Because you don’t. You are strong enough, and you don’t have to do things like that to win, and you don’t want to know that you did something like that years from now, when how much power you have shouldn’t matter anymore.”
She stared at him wide-eyed. “How...did...you…?” she said slowly before she shut her eyes. “...How...How dare you!!” she snapped. “How dare you judge me?! You, of all people?!”
“I’m not judging, I just…”
She turned on him furiously, leaning towards him as she yelled, “I’m not going to sit and listen to you talk about what’s right and wrong! You, one of the worst people I’ve ever known, you slimy, conniving, manipulative bastard! You pretend to care and you pretend to want to help, but you’re nothing but a lying, self-centered rapist! The single worst user of people I have ever seen. And you think you can lecture me? You aren’t my friend, and I don’t know what you’re trying to get out of me, but I’m not going to start listening to your smarmy forked tongue now!” Virgil just stared at her, taken completely aback. “Well?! What, now you don’t have anything to say?!” He withered under her anger, and he slumped under the sorrow that now sat heavily on him. “Go on, justify, like you always do!” 
He was a long time in replying, as he slouched over in the rain. “......You’re not wrong……”
“What, no excuses? No ‘oh I’m just looking at it wrong’? Why should I ever listen to you about what I should and shouldn’t do?!” 
When the then-long-held silence was broken, his voice was a hoarse whisper, spoken to the ground, “......So you don’t get like me……”
She practically screamed, “I would never be as awful as you!!” The silence afterwards was echoing. Luna glared at him, her face expressive of furious tears that would never come. Virgil clutched his elbows, head bowed, and it looked like he wasn’t far from crying either. Her expression twitched, as she stared at him through the soaking rain. “What’s...what’s wrong with you?” He didn’t reply or move, so she pressed, “You’re, you’re acting strange. What’s...you’ve been acting strange for a while, since....” There was still no response, even after she waited. “...You aren’t going to convince me you changed. That because you look different, you’re a different person and the things you did before just don’t count anymore.”
“...I’m not trying to,” he replied quietly.
“Then why are you still here?” she groused, folding her arms again and curling into herself, her rage muting into surliness once more. “Do what you always do. Laugh. Brush it off. Ignore me and leave, and come back later like nothing.” He didn’t move. “...What?! What do you still want?!”
“......I can’t apologise…” His voice was almost hollow, “Not in any way, that you’d accept. Not...to anybody, really. I don’t know why I…” he trailed off, but let the sentence trailing. “I wish I...I wish I could… ...I can leave, if you want. If you tell me to. But, I promised...I...I care…” he struggled to find words, and seemed to start a dozen sentiments without completing any. 
Luna said with exasperation, “Spit something out…” 
“...I’m trying…” he said quietly. “I’m trying…” He wiped the water off of his face and eyes, “...I understand, that I’m not a good person. I know I’m broken. I just...I didn’t want...I wanted to help. And, I was worried. About you. That’s all.” He exhaled heavily and said sadly, “If you don’t want me here, I’ll go. I’ll...I’ll go…” Virgil stood up slowly, his mind obviously detached from the action. Almost inaudibly, he said, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry...for what I’ve done...”
As he started to walk away, her voice followed him, “...I’ve never heard you be actually sorry before…” He paused to listen, and she continued, “You...say sorry a lot. But, you’ve never really sounded like you meant it. Always...sorry that other people got mad at you, or sorry they didn’t understand what you meant, but never for what you did. I always...always hated you for that. But you never changed. You were never wrong, really, in your head.” Her gaze turned from her arms towards his back. “...Maybe you are different.”
“I...think I’m just who I was...before I died…” he said slowly. He brought his arms up around him, and he had a vagueness in his voice, “Maybe I’m...I’m what’s left after all the Miro got stripped out. All the devil removed. And I’m just, the leftover human now...” She didn’t reply to this. He took a few more steps away before adding, “I don’t want to leave you alone in the rain. I don’t want you to think that you have to be alone in the rain. I don’t want you to think that we don’t want you around, or that you can’t go near people, or anything else like that. You’re the most competent person here, you are more than strong enough to win this fight already, and you aren’t alone.” He added as an afterthought, “Unless, you want to be…”
“...You’re lying again…” she said, but the vitriol had left her voice, leaving it tired. 
“I’m not.”
“I’m not strong enough…”
He didn’t let her finish, “You are.” He turned and looked towards her, and was nothing but earnest as he said, “You are an extremely skilled alchemist and arcanist. I know the doctor, and I know his work, so I can look at you and know that you’re good. I’ve seen people half your skill and half your courage and half your willpower stand up to monsters and tyrants. I’ve seen them fight and win against horrors that the human mind can’t comprehend. Karzoug is a man. A man with an army, but an entirely human man, with a man’s greed, and a man’s power. You do not need to make yourself into anything different to stop him. You don’t need to force yourself. You don’t need to stretch yourself thin and push yourself to the edge and take power you don’t need to beat something like him. Because we will beat him, and you’ll go home, and I want you to go home knowing that you did the right thing, that you are intelligent and skilled and entirely in control of your fate and safety, and not with memories of having done things you regret.” He dropped his gaze and voice, “Things...you can’t take back. That change who you are.” Luna stared into the distance, and slowly curled up into herself, clutching her legs and burying her face into her knees. Virgil looked at her, and a small, melancholy smile twinged the corner of his mouth. Walking back towards her, he sunk down and sat cross-legged in front of her. “...It will get better,” he said quietly. “It always does.”
“...I wish I could cry…” she muttered through her sodden skirt. “I wish I could cry and shake and sniff and just have it come out. But I can’t.”
“You could scream,” he suggested gently.
“That’s not the same.”
“You could try,” he said with his small, faint smile. “Sometimes it helps.”
“I...no. No, I can’t now…” Virgil nodded with understanding. Luna picked her head up out of her knees, and she looked up at him miserably. Sliding her mouth back down into her skirt, she muttered, “M’sorry. For...before.”
“I deserve it,” he replied, still smiling at her.
She looked up at him sadly before sighing, “...You don’t have to sit out here. You’re getting all wet and...and I know the smell is awful for you…”
“I get wet all the time. No problem at all!” He said chipperly, his clothes soaked and his hair plastered to his head, “And I can’t even notice the smell anymore.” She groaned and looked as though she was about to accuse him of lying again, but he held up his hands, “No no, I’m not arguing that it’s not a terrible smell. I’m just saying that after breathing it in for a few seconds, it kind of deadens your senses. It’s not a big deal; I’m sure you’ll get rid of it soon.” Luna sighed despondently, and he looked worried, “...Do...you want my help? I mean, I’m not on your level, but, I helped with some of your other projects. I know a bit of arcana…”
“Uuuugh, I don’t even know,” she said, utterly frustrated. “I just took the smell with the other things because I knew that was bothering him, but you couldn’t even notice it on him! But now suddenly on me it’s this overpowering stench and I can’t mask it and I can’t even walk down the street!” She clenched at her hair, “I can’t go in public, and, and I made my aura stronger so now I can’t go near animals and I thought I wouldn’t care but, but, now I just...I just!”
He reached out towards her, “Hey, shht shht shht,” but he suddenly stopped and held his hands back, “Sorry! Sorry.” Placing his hands down on the grass in front of him, he leaned down to catch her eyes, “It’s ok! It’s alright, we can work with this, ok? You can work with it. That’s what you were thinking, right? That he couldn’t handle it, but you could, right?” 
Luna looked into his eyes, her own filled with pain, before she hid her face once more. “I...I wanted to be better…” she muttered out from her knees, voice flat with disappointment. “That’s all I was thinking. That I could make myself better.”
“That’s not true,” he said. “That can’t be the whole truth. Aldern said you did it to help make him more human again. I can’t believe that wasn’t at least part of what you were doing. You’ve been doing nothing but support him for months, and he wouldn’t be anywhere without you. Sure, maybe you were looking for ways to give yourself more power, but you found a way to help him, and that’s how you did it. Right?” She didn’t reply, and he added, “The spell took parts of his power away from him, and gave them to you, right? Did you take anything from him that he did want? Did you take his strength, or his speed, or his ability to climb?”
“...No…”
“You just took the things he was complaining about; the things he wasn’t using because they made him feel wrong.”
“...Mostly,” she admitted. “I...I took the paralysis too, because...because I figured he couldn’t use it after, and he was...he was wasting it, but...but…”
Virgil smiled gently, “He was. But, for the most part, it really was just stuff that was hurting him, right?”
“...Yes…”
“And, you took those things, and only those things, because you didn’t want to hurt him, and didn’t want him to hurt, right? You weren’t going to sacrifice him for your sake. You just thought, you could get stronger, and help him too.”
She looked up at him, “That’s not right though!! I...I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t…”
He held his hand out to her, still smiling, “No, it’s not entirely right, but it wasn’t entirely bad either. It’s ok! You really did help him. You did do something that benefited both of you. You have more power, and he’s closer to looking human, and you’re both better off, ok? You just have to learn how to control the power like he was doing, and, you need to step back. Take a breath. And know that you have enough time and enough options to think about what you really want, ok? You don’t have to do anything you think is wrong, and you don’t need to change your definition of what’s wrong.”
“That...that was wrong...and…” she shrank into herself, and her voice dropped to a desperate whisper, “...and I did...I did think…what, you said, I actually did think...”
“Shh, shh shh. It’s ok,” he leaned in close again, catching her eyes, “It’s ok. You only thought it. That’s normal. You didn’t do anything yet. You didn’t hurt anyone. This has been awful, and you’ve been through a lot. You just want everything to be better, and you worried that you aren’t good enough, but I swear that you are. Please,” he pleaded gently, “Please know that even if it’s bad, it’s not as bad as that. It’s never as bad as that. You never have to change what you think is right. You never have to give up on yourself. The world will still be here. There will always be tragedies, but don’t make yourself one of them trying to stop another.” He smiled, “You didn’t hurt anyone. And it’s ok. It’s been hard, and it’s ok to feel it. You don’t need to hide it, even if you don’t cry. Ok?”
She looked up at him, and he still smiled hopefully towards her, holding out his hand comfortingly. Slowly, she curled up again, burying her face, but she reached out tentatively and placed her hand in his. His smile was somewhere between kindly and sad, a small melancholy grin that quirked up the corners of his mouth but didn’t quite reach his eyes. He tightened his hand and placed the other on top of hers, holding it comfortingly. Luna slowly pulled his arm in, taking her other hand and holding Virgil’s, clinging to his arm as the rain continued to fall. He could hear her making small sounds, and he rubbed the back of her hand lightly. “I can hug you properly, if you want,” he offered. “With your permission.”
It took her a few seconds to reply. Slowly, she brought her face up, and her expression was sad and vulnerable and accusatory at the same time. “...If...if you…” her voice trembled, holding anger and sorrow in equal measure. “I’ll...I’ll…” He nodded solemnly. She stared him down, seconds ticking by in silence. Eventually, she closed her eyes and pulled herself closer to him, burying her face deeply into his shoulder. He wrapped her in a hug, holding her head with one hand and her back with the other. Shuddering sobs came from her, small wails that lacked tears but not emotion. The smell that emanated from her was absolutely nauseating, but Virgil choked back his instincts and held her the whole while.
Time passed, and she calmed down, eventually pushing him away and sitting back as she had been. There were no tears, no red eyes, no runny nose or hoarse voice to mark what had happened, only a lingering sadness in her expression as she said, “You should go back to the inn. You’re going to get a cold, and you need sleep.”
“Heh,” he grinned, “Nah, it’s too late for that. I definitely got whatever disease was on that ghast’s teeth; I can feel it coming on already. I’m going to feel awful in the morning.” He tilted his head slightly, “Do you want to come back with me?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I...I kind of wanted some time alone. And, I don’t...don’t want to have people stare at me…”
“It will be ok,” he said. “Aldern was controlling it, you’ll be able to as well.”
“I...I don’t even know if I can,” she sighed defeatedly.
“Hey now, I’m sure we can figure it out!” he said brightly. “I mean, you’re not rotting. That’s proven. So, the smell is a magical trait. I’m guessing Aldern didn’t know how to actively restrain it, or he would have told you. Off probably isn’t the default, because the feral copycat in the glen wasn’t holding back his smell, and on the two occasions Aldern blacked out, he smelled then too. I’ve worked with and against a lot of magical powers, and I’ve never heard of a dedicated trait for turning off another. With that in mind, I’d guess that it’s just an ability you have now that you need to learn how to focus, and it’s harder to turn off than on. Give yourself a bit of time; you’ll get it, I promise.”
“But...but, how can it…”
He cut her off with a slanted grin, “How long did we estimate Aldern was sitting in the manor? About two weeks? That was two solid weeks of him probably doing nothing other than chanting ‘no no no no’ to himself. You’ve had the ability for, what, three days? Give yourself some time,” he stressed again. He smiled, “And if that doesn’t work, we’ll figure something else out, ok? Magic and ingenuity will solve literally any cosmetic problem. You know that, right? It’s what you’ve been trying to teach Aldern.”
Luna looked at him, and a faint ghost of a smile seemed to touch her expression. “...Yeah.”
This brightened his expression further. He smiled at her for another moment before saying, “I...probably should go back to the inn. I’m...I’m honestly pretty freezing, and I do feel the cough coming on.”
She nodded, “Go. I’ll...I’ll head back in a bit.” He gave her a look, and she said, “Promise.”
He nodded in turn. A serious expression crossed his face as he said, “If you ever feel overwhelmed, please...take some time. The world is important, but so are you.” A strange, despondent expression flicked over his face before he grinned broadly, “I’m always here, if you want someone morally bankrupt to talk to!”
Regarding him seriously, she said, “...I am sorry…for before…”
“Don’t be,” he said, his smile tempering. “I deserve it.” He stood up, “Think about going to Medinipur, would you? It will give you some time to focus on controlling your power, keep the rock out of enemy hands, give Aldern some peace of mind, and give you both a bit of a break. But, it’s your decision, and if you definitely want to come to Jorgenfist, then we’ll work something out that way too. Ok?”
“...Ok…” 
Virgil smiled, “Have a good evening then. I’m going to go see if I can get some sleep before the sickness hits me like a ton of bricks.” He bowed his head, “Goodnight.”
She looked up at him from the ground, “Goodnight.” Virgil turned and started back towards the town. He only got a few feet away before she called after him, “Thank you!” Pausing, he looked back towards her. She dropped her gaze and repeated shyly, “Thank you…”
He smiled warmly, “Anytime.”
Category:Rise of the Runelords