Catholic Dictionary

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
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BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
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CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
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HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key two octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
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RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
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INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
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JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
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PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
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RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
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RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
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TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
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USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew. 
Category:Language Humor
Category:Religious Humor