Charlie Skywalker and the Great Coming of Cheese

Hello. Right here, this is the best story you've ever heard in your life. Read it. Read it now.
==Cheese is Delicious==
A long long long long long long long long time ago, in a galaxy far far far far far far far far far far away, THERE WAS PIE.
Then this epic guy named Charlie Skywalker came and killed it. Then his puffle Wingman got a weird message and they decide to go to space for no reason in particular with Helmet Solo and his freaking wookie puffle named Pluffy and a crazy old man who likes to lure people inside his house and take all their money. Once they took of and entered space they mistook this evil space station called the Pie Star for a McPenguin's and went there.
In the Pie Star they met a princess but found out that she's really Cadence so they chucked her out the airlock. Then Wingman got bored and ate the crazy old man. The crazy old man's ghost appears and tells Charlie that Darth Paige, ruler of the Pie Side was really his father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roomate's girlfriend, and also his adopted mother which makes absolutley no since at all. Charlie got angry and punched the ghost right in the ectoplasim.
After that, Charlie ran over and sliced Darth Paige in two with his lightsaber. Helmet got mad and revealed that she was actually his wife. He launched Charlie and Wingman at a freaking stupid forest planet were they crash landed and accidentally broke some green thing's leg. The green thing goy angry and put his jedi juices on Charlie as punishment. Charlie became a jedi and murdered the green thing for being too creepy.
After that Charlie and Wingman went to a freaking stupid city in the sky and killed everyone there for no reason in particular by chucking grenades at them. Charlie found out that Darth Paige was alive and he battles with her. However, his lightsaber has a disfunction and he cuts his own flipper off. Darth Paige knocks Charlie down an air shaft and adds his flipper to her collection. Then this retarded obese guy named Boba Fatt came and froze Helmet and took him to Jabba the Butt.
Charlie then found out his lightsaber is magical and turns people into food. He turned Boba into a potato and Jabba into a piece of bacon. He ate them both but ended up puking because Jabba had a lot of fat. Then he went to a planet (well, a moon of a planet) with a bunch of midget man-eating teddy bears and murdered them all.
Charlie gets kidnapped by Darth Paige, but he drove his tank engine named Tomtom and ran her over. Then Charlie HAD HER BUTT CUT OFF AND MOUNTED ABOVE HIS FIREPLACE. Then everyone who died came back as a ghost, so Wingman called the Ghostbusters. The only problem was their equipment malfunctioned and sucked them all into a wormhole AND EVERYONE DIED. THE END.
Spongebob Squarepants' lawyer came and tried to sue Charlie for ripping off the "butts cut off and mounted above the fireplace" and the "and everyone died, the end" bits. He waited, but no one ever came since everyone was dead.
Then he got drunk and died.
Also payiches.