Edward Cullen vs Harry Potter vs Frodo Baggins vs Luke Skywalker feat. Percy Jackson

Edward Cullen vs Harry Potter vs Frodo Baggins vs Luke Skywalker feat. Percy Jackson is a blog post on the ERB wiki by Loygansono55. It features teen vampire Edward Cullen, boy wizard Harry Potter, Hobbit Frodo Baggins, and Jedi Master Luke Skywalker rapping against each other in a battle royale, with a special appearance from demigod Percy Jackson, to determine who has the overall superior series. Yes, the guy who posted the blog made it clear that Percy Jackson was going to make an appearance.
== Cast (from the blog post) ==
* Rhett McLaughlin as Edward Cullen
* Link Neal as Harry Potter
* EpicLLOYD as Frodo Baggins
* Nice Peter as Luke Skywalker
* Dante Cimadamore as Percy Jackson
* Michelle Glavan as Bella Swan (cameo)
* Shay Carl as Rubeus Hagrid (cameo)
* Gabe Michael as Samwise Gamgee (cameo)
* Kimmy Gatewood as Princess Leia (cameo)
* KassemG as Poseidon (cameo)
== Locations ==
* Edward Cullen: A forest
* Harry Potter: Hogwarts Castle
* Frodo Baggins: The Shire
* Luke Skywalker: Lars Homestead
* Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters
== The Battle ==
=== EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY ===
=== EDWARD CULLEN ===
=== VS ===
=== HARRY POTTER ===
=== VS ===
=== FRODO BAGGINS ===
=== VS ===
=== LUKE SKYWALKER ===
=== BEGIN! ===
== Edward Cullen: ==
I captivate girls of all ages, and drive them wild with my looks,
I've got high-grossing films, and expertly authored books,
I'm taking the Hobbit to Isengard, to feast on his blood,
At least he's not Hermione, who's blood is made of mud,
I'll rise before the sun, and I'll Break the Dawn with my bare fists,
And you were fighting your dad the whole time, lame plot twist,
Call me a Sith Lord, I'm taking over the Empire,
Get in Gandalf's van all the way back at the Shire!
== Harry Potter: ==
You make me laugh, Twilight Sparkle, you sound like a Brony,
Real vampires have fangs, that just proves that you're a phony,
Drop your glow stick, I'll show you real magical powers,
And then I'll leave you all stranded atop the Twin Towers,
Gimli a break, of all your films, I'm really not too fond,
You can take it in turns to stroke and suck my Elder Wand,
You spend all your time trying to please an emotionless bitch, stop it,
Go back to Santa's workshop, and make toys with all the other Hobbits!
== Frodo Baggins: ==
My raps will mentally scar you, oops! I forgot, look at your forehead,
Just look at the monstrosity that appeared when you and Bella bred,
I've got a Fellowship, and you've got an Order of Brits,
I'll turn invisible and throw you in the Sarlaac Pit,
Defeat Frodo in a rap battle, One Does Not Simply Do That, fool,
And even though I may drown in a swimming pool,
I'll T-Baggins you, and then tear you and Bella apart,
I'll send you back to your coffin, and put a stake through your heart!
== Luke Skywalker: ==
I'm better than Jesus, because I can Walk on the Sky,
A gang of losers like you can't even touch a Jedi,
I'll use brute Force to claim my victory in this battle,
Go back to your farm, pipsqueak, and tend to your cattle,
I may be a semi-orphan all the way from Tatooine,
But I'm a lean, mean Sith-slaying machine,
When I hit you hard, my disses are Attack of the Pwn,
Once I'm done with you all, I'll relax on the Emperor's throne!
== Edward Cullen: ==
I'm immortal, which means that I can kick your ass as long as I please,
Stop getting all emotional with Samwise Gamgee,
I'll Eclipse you all, and you can call me the New Moon,
Don't worry, you'll be children of the night soon,
I'm gonna own you, Harry, does that make your scar sore?
To Dumbledore's office, or Hagrid's Hut? Who can please you more?
Your dead bodies will be Rowling down a hill,
So write this all down on some parchment with a quill!
== Harry Potter: ==
A vampire who can go out in light? What a pathetic sight,
Ginny's busy licking my Forbidden Forest all night,
You must be a Dementor, because you're depressing me with your rhymes,
If I lose, which is unlikely, I can just turn back time,
I defeated Death Eaters, you can't even handle an army,
Try to hit me with Avada Kedavra, but you still can't harm me,
I'll Maul you like Darth, and you will be brutally mamed,
The Boy Who Kicked Ass will be my new nickname!
== Frodo Baggins: ==
You've got genital Hogwarts, and I'm pimping with my bling,
I may have had mine bitten off, but I can still give you the fing,
Your parents both got murdered when you were just a little kid,
Just go back to fumbling balls while playing a game of Quidd,
An Unexpected Journey led to me destroying you,
Humiliated, you'll go back to your cupboard under the stairs and cry, boo-hoo,
Leia's a bimbo, just ask Bilbo, you made out with your sis,
That's gross, one hell of an Incestuous Menace!
== Luke Skywalker: ==
When it comes to romance movies, yours is the One That Must Not Be Watched,
You took a popular genre, and completely had it botched,
I'm the only Star here, so we can't call it a War,
To destroy jewellery is what you're fighting for,
I trained in swamps and deserts, with my robot sidekick,
It doesn't matter that I kissed my sister, at least I can get a chick,
I got a Millennium Falcon, all you've got's a broomstick,
You can't compete with a Lightsaber, you four-eyed prick!
 Out of nowhere, Percy Jackson rushes in and begins rapping right away.
== Percy Jackson: ==
Call me the Lightning Thief, cause I'm making off with your thunder,
And I wonder how a blunder such as the prequels tore your series asunder,
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I came in and put you in your places,
With feet as large as yours, who even needs shoes and laces,
I'm Tolkien to you, a middle-height bitch all the way from Middle-Earth,
And Luke, your mother died immediately after she gave birth,
I fight titans on a regular basis, I can take you out with ease,
Why do you glitter in the sun? You're worse than Jacob with fleas,
I'm the son of Poseidon, and the nephew of ol' Zeussy,
All of your magical spells practically scream pussy,
Frodo, you never get any, so go make out with your pillow,
While I'm showing Annabethe my massive Whomping Willow,
You can't compete with a powerful demigod like myself,
Especially when one of you is pretty much an elf,
I can take you all on Solo, Skywalker, leave the Wimp Side,
All of your series' suck balls, but hey, you tried!
== Outro Announcer: ==
=== WHO WON? ===
=== WHO'S NEXT? ===
=== YOU DECIDE! ===
=== EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY ===