The Abhorrent Race

The nineteenth and penultimate chapter of Total Drama Tokyo, posted on July 15, 2012.
==Story==
"Last time on Total... Drama... Tokyo! The contestants, or what's left of them, were forced to go into the city and confront some raging fans, who saw the viral videos that they had to create beforehand... Puck was sadly eliminated, even though everyone thought he was going to win. It is now up to the final four, where Ari, Kai, Layla, and Roz will battle it out today, right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"
The remaining four contestants are shown in their dorm. Kai is playing video games and listening to music, Layla is getting her back massaged by Charles, and Ari and Roz are shown discussing in the corner.
"All righty, Ari. So, you know that we're the only four left, right? Well, if we make an alliance with lil' Kai, we can take out Layla so she doesn't get to the finale. Because if she does, she'll take out all of us and crap, got it?" Roz says.
"Uh, sure. You know, Kai might not want to vote with us..." Ari says. "It doesn't matter, though. If we both vote Layla, and she votes one of us, and Kai votes... Wait, yeah, we do want Kai to vote with us..."
"YO, KAI!" yells Roz. "Get your butt over here, we're talkin' strategy!"
Kai shuts off his music, and walks over to Ari and Roz. "What's up? Are you talking about how Charles smells like an old British woman? Because he does, and it's getting really funky."
"Holy chiz, I never noticed that," gasps Roz. "But no. We're talking about voting out Layla, 'cuz she's a threat, and we want all good guys in the final three with us. Will you vote with us?"
"Well, the thing is..." Kai says shakily, and then begins to sweat. "ImadeanalliancewithlaylasoIcantvotewithyoubecauseI'mplanningtovoteforoneofyou... Gotta go pee... Bai!" He runs off extremely fast.
"That little traitor!" Roz responds. "Why would he make an alliance with Layla, of all people? She's a psycho!"
"Uh, she does play the game well..." Ari says.
"No, she doesn't! Unless you call sitting around on her lazy butt and forcing Charles to do stuff for her playing the game well," Roz responds.
"Charles!" yells Layla. "I'm thirsty. Go get me some whiskey or something. Just anything."
"Whiskey? If memory serves, you are not at the age of twenty-one yet. You are not allowed. Even your mother and father said so," Charles says.
"Still your tongue, Charles!" Layla responds. "Go. Now."
Charles goes to the refrigerator, and sees no whiskey. He then says, "Layla, we are all out. My dearest apologies."
"Apologies? That's not the only thing you should be sorry for, wanna do 15 push-ups?" she snaps.
There is a knocking on the door. Suddenly, Chris McLean walks in, and begins to talk, without anyone acknowledging his presence. "Well, hello, everyone! How's your day so far?" he says.
"Terrible," says Kai.
"Awesome!" Chris responds. "Anyway, today's challenge will be the last normal challenge. I want you all to race from this side of Tokyo, the north side, to the south side, because that's where you'll be competing in the finale! The last contestant to arrive at the southernmost point of Tokyo is automatically eliminated. Won't this be fun?"
"Wait, so that means that there won't be any alliances..." Ari says. "Because it's an auto-elimination... Crap."
"And also, Tokyo is gigantic. How are we supposed to race there in like a day? It's impossible," Kai says.
"Well, you're not going to be racing on foot. Am I really that mean?" Chris says
"...Yes," says Kai.
"I'm just going to ignore that," says Chris. "So, yeah. You guys will get two hours to build a sort of vehicle, then you'll be required to race to Tokyo by midnight. Of course, if you want to, you could race on foot, but I don't know why anyone in their right mind would do that, unless you're like, Meg or something."
"Can we start working now?" Ari asks.
"Go for it!" says Chris. He presses a button on his remote, and a bunch of materials come raining down from the ceiling. "Get to work, you have two hours." He slowly walks away.
Ari walks up to Roz as she's building stuff. "Hey, Roz. Do you wanna, like, ride in a vehicle together or something?"
"Oh, totes, sista," Roz says. "Let's build some sort of race car."
"Hey, did you know that 'race car' is the same backwards?" Ari responds. "Just a random, useless fact..."
"KKKKKKKKKKKKK," laughs Roz. "But seriously, gurl, we need to focus."
Kai is shown building something that looks like one of those old-fashioned bikes.
"See, look at Kai. He's working. Let's do that too," Roz says. "Look at Layla for what you don't wanna do."
Layla is shown drumming on bongos and lying on the couch. Charles walks up to her, and she hisses at him violently, making him walk away.
Kai says in the confessional, "That's so random... Seems like something Puck would do. I really miss that guy, now I'm the only guy left. It's a reverse sausage fest. Whatever you wanna call it. Puck, whyyyy? At least I can win this challenge, and get into the finals."
Layla says in the confessional, "You know, screw this challenge. I have enough money at home, so if I get eliminated, it's no biggie. I don't wanna work on a stupid vehicle, so I'm not going to. Haha."
Roz and Ari are shown, still working on their race car. It's looking pretty cool, with flames, and red paint.
"Yo, Ari! Get over here!" whines Layla.
"Don't listen to her," says Roz. "Who knows what she's gonna make you do?"
"Eh, I'll just humor her..." says Ari. "What do you want, Layla?" she says, walking over to her.
"So, what would you say if I told you that I was planning to make an alliance with you and Kai? So we can destroy Roz in the finals," says Layla.
"Uh, Layla... The thing is, I'm in an alliance with Roz... So, I can tell her everything you just said..." Ari says.
"FUCK!" yells Layla. Everyone stares at her. "What, it's PG-13, and we're allowed to drop one F-bomb. Hehe, I took it from you guys. Ari, get me a latte."
"Wait, but I'm not Charles..." says Ari.
"Charles is doing stuff that he claims is more important. What's more important than doing stuff for me? Argh. Just be my replacement butler," says Layla.
Ari walks back to Roz. "She's going on about me being her replacement butler or something..." Ari says.
"Hey, get back here! I never said you could walk away!" Layla says angrily.
In about an hour, Chris walks back into the room. "Hey, everyone! Two hours have passed, and you know what that means!"
"Ugh, Chris. None of us are even done..." says Layla. She looks around the room. "Wait, everyone finished except me... I blame Charles! Get over here, you old fart!"
Charles comes out of the bathroom. "You need to learn to not rely on me as much to do your everyday tasks."
"So, Kai, you got a bicycle there... Nice job. It looks really old, like 1920s old. Whatever, it'll work. You pass the first part of the challenge," Chris says.
"Awesomesauce," says Kai.
"Ari and Roz... Didn't I say that you would all be building your own vehicles? But whatever, if it breaks, both of you will get a disadvantage... Just how I like it. You two pass," says Chris.
"Wow, didn't think about it that way..." says Ari.
"Chill out, bra, it's gonna be fine. It won't break," Roz says.
"And Layla... Oh, Layla. You did absolutely nothing, so I guess I have to provide something for you," says Chris.
Layla cheers. "ZOMG, Chris, you're totally the best. I don't hate you as much now."
"...Just kidding," says Chris. "You're on your own, sista."
"Just kidding to you too, I still hate you," snaps Layla. "Congrats."
Chris, ignoring Layla's statement, leads the other contestants outside, where they are shown to a starting line. "This is the starting line," he says.
"No dip, Sherlock," says Layla rudely.
"...Okay. You guys will be able to start the race in approximately five seconds..." says Chris. He looks at his watch. "5... 4... 3... 2... 1... GO!"
The contestants take off, although they all go different routes. Ari and Roz quickly get in their car and drive into the city, while Kai decides to pedal through the countryside on his old-fashioned bicycle.
"Charles! We're already behind. Give me a piggyback, now!" Layla says. "Hurry up, oldie!"
Charles hoists Layla onto her back, and begins to run.
"Excuse me if I get tired, my body is quite old and frail..." he says, while jogging and breathing heavily.
The scene cuts to Ari and Roz in the city. "Hey, Ari, did you know that our vehicle is totally the fastest out of everyone's?" Roz says.
"Oh, awesome..." says Ari. "Would you be mad at me if I said I wanted to get some sushi and take a little break?"
"Ari, we've been driving for about two minutes. You be soooo lazy, and you're not even driving, just listen to music or something," Roz says.
"Fine, we can eat lunch later..." says Ari. "Crap, Roz, you just went past a stop light..."
"So what? Who cares? I never listen to stop lights, they don't tell me what to do, hehe," Roz says rebelliously.
"Dude, there's a police car following us..." says Ari.
"Hehehehe, you're so silly. There are no police cars in Japan..." says Roz.
"All right, whatever you say. But if we get arrested, lose the challenge, and both get voted out, it's your fault," says Ari. "Let's talk about boys."
Kai is then shown, sitting at an ice cream shack in the middle of the countryside.
"Well, this is weird," he says to himself. "There's nobody here. Just a big can of vanilla ice cream sitting there. The thing is, I hate vanilla..." He takes out his wand and zaps it, turning it into chocolate. "So much better." He begins to eat sloppily.
The window of the ice cream stand slowly creaks open, and a weird bearded blonde dude peeks his head out. "BLARGHSCHMICKLE!" he yells.
Kai screams like a small child. "What the crap, dude?!" he yells.
"Listen," says Smoothie Guy. "You wanna win this challenge? I got a way. But you have to give me a hundred bucks first."
"Dude, first of all, how can I trust you? You're the shadiest person ever. Second of all, we're in Japan, so all I have is yen," says Kai.
"Whatever. Gimme some of that, and I'll show you my vehicle," says Smoothie Guy.
"Dude, I have my own vehicle," says Kai. "Just let me go."
Smoothie Guy snaps his fingers. A bomb flies out of nowhere and sticks to the bicycle, then blows up. "Now, can you let me help you?"
"Why do you want to help me so much?" asks Kai. "Something's amiss."
"Nah, dude, I just want money," says Smoothie Guy. "So I can spend it on Bavarian sausages and inappropriate magazines. Give me the money."
Kai, while grumbling, reaches into his pocket and gives Smoothie Guy the money.
"HA!" says Smoothie Guy. "You're such an idiot! Time to go!"
"Wait, but what about that super-awesome thing you promised? You didn't lie to me, did you?" Kai says.
"...I did," says Smoothie Guy. "You're so gullible. Hey, look, a tree!" Kai looks. "Just kidding. Hehehehe. So long!" He takes out a jetpack and flies away.
Kai says in the confessional, "How much of an idiot am I?"
Kai then sees Layla and Charles, who walk past him. Layla spits on Kai's face.
"Wait!" says Kai. The two turn around to look at him. "What do you want?" asks Layla, while Charles wheezes.
"I know this sounds really stupid, but can I... hitch a ride?" asks Kai. "I really need to get to the finish line. That way, we'll get invincibility, and either Ari or Roz will be eliminated."
"Yeah, you know, I really want to. The thing is, Charles doesn't seem to be having fun..." says Layla, looking at Charles who is now fainted.
"Since when did you care about Charles?" Kai asks.
"Oh, I don't. I just want him to go fast so I can win. Charles, get up, you bum!" she yells.
Charles sits up. "Wuh?" he asks.
"Carry Kai and me," says Layla. "No whining."
Charles suddenly sees something in the woods, and a lightbulb goes off above his head. "!"
The scene then suddenly flashes, and Charles is shown pulling Layla and Kai in a large, mossy, wooden carriage. He looks really tired and is wheezing, but is running really fast as well.
"Yeah, this is more like it," says Kai. "Layla, you're a genius."
"Pshaw," says Layla. "Don't thank me. Thank Charles."
"Thank you, Charles!" Kai yells. Charles flips the bird at Kai.
The scene then flashes to Ari and Roz, who are going across the Rainbow Bridge. It's nighttime, and there's a lot of traffic.
"Oh my god, I love these lights. They're so pretty and romantic and stuff," says Roz happily.
"What are you suggesting, Roz..." Ari says.
"You know, just that I so totally miss Chaz," responds Roz wistfully.
"Uh, didn't you say earlier that you broke up with him?" asks Ari. Roz doesn't respond. "Roz?"
"SHHHH, listen," says Roz. Sure enough, a "ssssss"-ing sound is heard.
"What is that noise..." Ari says.
The tire of the car is shown slowly deflating. Suddenly, it pops, and flies around, hitting a random drived in the head. The driver curses in Japanese. Ari and Roz's car then abruptly stops.
"Ugh," says Ari. "What are we supposed to do now?"
"I don't know..." says Roz. She takes out a whistle from her pocket and blows it. "HEY! WE NEED A TOW!"
"Roz, they're not gonna hear you, there's too much traffic..." Ari says.
Some Japanese guy then pulls over. "Get in my van, little girls. I will take you to the finish."
"Yippee!" Roz yells.
"Uh, Roz, are you sure this guy is trustworthy...?" Ari says.
"Relax, it will be fine," says Roz. "Let's just get in his van."
The two get in his van, Ari looks reluctant but Roz looks really excited.
"So, whatcha gonna do to us? Like, kidnap us or somethin'?" asks Roz.
"No," says the guy. "I am just giving you a ride. What's wrong with that?"
"Come on, Roz, let's get out of here..." says Ari. "This guy seems dangerous..."
"Dangerous? What did you say? No, I am just a guy, trying to make my way in the world," says the dude.
"..." says Ari.
Chris is then shown, at the Tokyo International Airport. "Hey, Chef," he says. "What should we do? It's gonna take them another two hours or so to get here."
"You know, let's play some Yahtzee or somethin'," says Chef.
"...That's a good idea," says Chris. He takes out the Yahtzee box, and empties it. Instead of dice and a cup, a bunch of brussels sprouts fall out of the box. "What?" he says. "This doesn't even make sense... Who... What?"
Chef says in the confessional, "It was me," then he begins to cackle maniacally.
"Uh, I have no idea who would do that, Chris," says Chef. "Totally not me." He looks from side to side and starts whistling.
Chris and Chef look at the road. A loud screeching is heard, and there is a small speck in the distance, coming closer to them.
"Hey, I wonder who that could be?" Chef says sarcastically.
"AAAAAAAAH!" yells someone in the distance.
"I predict it's Layla and Charles," says Chris.
"Twenty yen says it's Ari," says Chef. "She don't scream much, so maybe she's lettin' her anger out."
Sure enough, Layla and Charles race up to Chris, in their chariot. Charles passes out on the ground and doesn't move.
"Well, looks like you two won't be going home tonight!" says Chris. "What's wrong with Charles?"
Charles is on the ground, still not moving.
"Eh, who cares?" Layla responds. "We're safe, so woot." She high-fives Charles, and he just groans.
"...Wait. Where's Kai?" asks Chef. "Wasn't he wit' you guys?"
"Oh, crap, that's right..." says Layla. "Ugh, he must have fallen off! Charles, you incompetent fool!"
"Don't worry, guys. Just sit tight for a moment and Ari, Kai, and Roz will come by soon," Chris says.
"Are you sure about that?" asks Chef. "It might take a while, guy."
"Shhh, don't say that. Layla will get fussy," whispers Chris.
"Excuse me?" asks Layla, overhearing their conversation.
"...Never mind," says Chris. "Now, where could they be?"
The scene flashes to Ari and Roz. They're tied up and stuck in the trunk of the creepy Japanese guy's van. Ari says, "I knew we shouldn't have trusted that guy..."
"Hey, I wonder if Kai, Layla, and Charles have won already," says Roz. "That would be a bummer."
The two girls pass a person who suspiciously looks like Kai. His head is stuck in a ditch, so only his body is showing, and a black and red top hat is lying on the ground next to him.
"Holy crap, that's Kai! DUDE! STOP THE VAN!" yells Roz. She waits for a moment, but the guy keeps driving.
"All right, that's it," says Ari. "Let's jump. 1... 2... 3!" Ari and Roz jump out of the car and land on Kai's butt.
"YOWZIES!" yells Kai. "Oh, hey, guys." He takes his head out of the ground. "How far away is the finish?"
"Oh, it's right there," says Roz, and she points to the finish line. Chris and Chef wave at them from a distance.
"...Will you guys get mad at me if I do..." Kai says. He then starts to sprint as fast as he can to the finish. "THIS?" he yells.
"Oh, god! Get back here, Kai!" yells Ari. "Roz, let's go!"
Roz picks up Ari, and she screams. The two sprint as fast as they can to the finish line, and Layla and Charles are seen looking at them.
"Ugh, I don't even care who gets there first. They all suck," says Layla.
"You should not talk like that," responds Charles.
Suddenly, everything turns to slow-motion. Kai is seen bounding to the finish, but Ari and Roz come out of nowhere, and touch the finish 0.000000000000001 seconds before Kai...
It turns back to normal speed. Ari and Roz collapse in front of Chris, and Kai collapses on top of them.
"Well, well, well..." says Chris. "Kai, it's time for you to go to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers."
"AWW SERIOUSLY?" says Kai, disappointed.
"Yes, seriously. Girls, time for you to vote a contestant out," Chris says.
Everyone gasps. "Wait, I thought that Kai was just eliminated!" says Ari.
"Yeah, I never said that we wouldn't have a normal vote as well," says Chris. "Vote, vote, vote!"
Ari says in the confessional, "Welp, I'm not surviving this vote... Eh, whatever, I guess I'll vote Roz, since Layla won invincibility..."
Layla says in the confessional, "Ari, just because Roz will be easier to take down in the finals. You know, Ari is so popular and all. Threat."
Roz is shown in the confessional, weeping. "BWAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, b-b-b-but I have to do this..."
Chris is shown with the contestants at the elimination ceremony. Layla is already holding a piece of sushi and grinning evilly. Kai is shown grumbling at the Insert-Vehicle-Here.
"Ari and Roz. One of you buds will get voted out tonight. The final piece of sushi of the entire season goes to..."
"Roz. Ari, it's time to go with Kai and get out of here."
"Wow, second time being eliminated..." says Ari. "Weird, I guess. But I already know how it feels, so not too bad. Roz, I will seriously miss you so much. You're the best friend I've ever had, to be completely honest..." Ari gives Roz a bear hug, and Roz begins to sob.
"Bye-bye, loser," says Layla. Ari glares at Layla.
"Come on, Ari. Let's go, I'll show you some magic tricks on the way there," winks Kai.
"...What would Vivienne think of that?" Ari says.
Kai gasps. "Or not..." The two walk into the Vehicle, then are driven away by Chef.
"It's down to the final two! Who will win, the maniac or the rich snob? Find out next time, on the last episode of the season, on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"