Model Linc/transcript

Previous Episode: The Secret of Tentacle-Vision (Rewrite)
Next Episode: No Blonde Like Race
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: December 3, 2005
Episode Copyrighted: 2005
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
At the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror.
SpongeBob SquarePants: You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me, Mr. Mirror? I've met sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. *squirts soap on my head and scrubs the mirror clean, then puts my work hat on his head from my nose* Looking good, mirror! Sorry about the harsh words. *gets a mop and a bucket* Now to attack these floors!
Lincoln Loud: *enters* Hey, SpongeBob. What are you doing?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Attacking the floors!
Mr. Krabs: *in my office, on the phone, chuckles* Are you kidding? He's an absolute treasure to have around the restaurant!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *chuckles* Sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again to his associates. *turns to reveal an ear on my back*
Mr. Krabs: And he's been with me for such a long time now.
Lincoln Loud: *chuckles* I am.
Mr. Krabs: But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go today.
Lincoln Loud: Yep, he's gonna have to-- *notices, shocked* What? Let the little guy go?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or... *gasps* Squidward! *stands behind Squidward, who is sitting down* Phew! I am taller. You're the little guy, Squidsy!
Squidward Tentacles: *stands up* No, and I want you to stop calling me Squidsy. *walks away*
Lola Loud: *walks* Yeah.
Lincoln Loud: Oh, Squidward looked taller there for a second. Better get a more accurate measurement. *stands right next to Squidward in the workstation*
Squidward Tentacles: What do you think you're doing?
Lincoln Loud: Oh, just seeing which one of us is the little guy... *makes myself taller, like a skyscraper* ...and it looks like it is you!
Squidward Tentacles: No, I'm not! *walks away*
Lincoln Loud: Squidward, wait! *becomes short again*
Lola Loud: Lincoln, what are you talking about?! *points at Squidward* He's right here!
Lincoln Loud: We haven't measured with my legs at full extension yet! *extends my legs*
Squidward Tentacles: *offscreen* I don't care! Now go home!
Lincoln Loud: You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. Whoa! *walks off balance, then falls and breaks a table* Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. *makes a strange face* Face the facts that I'm the little guy! *tears up, making another face* And that Mr. Krabs is letting me go today.
Squidward Tentacles: *smiles* Krabs is letting you go today? *laughs* As in I won't have to work with you ever again. *laughs*
Lola Loud: *smiles* Mr. Krabs is letting you go today? *chuckles*
Lincoln Loud: *sadly, leaves the Krusty Krab* Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it.
Mr. Krabs: *still on the phone* Yeah, as much as I don't like doing it, I have to let him go.
A little scallop in a cage is shown.
Mr. Krabs: Gotten too big for his cage. *releases the scallop* Go on, little guy. Fly away. You'll be missed.
Scallop: *flies away*
Screen cuts to The Loud House. Lincoln is sitting on a chair.
Lori Loud: *offscreen, screams* AHHH! MY PHONE!
Charles from the Loud House: *barks*
Lincoln Loud: Oh, what's the use, Charles? I've lost the will to go on! *bursts into tears on the couch and speaks gibberish, then stops, notices SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary, Leni, Lily and Ashley and sniffs sadly* Hey, guys.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, sorry to interrupt your fit of self-loathing, Lincoln. *happily* I'm just hanging out with my friends.
Lincoln Loud: *confused* Gary’s food? What happened to his?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Nothing, I just fed Gary for his snail food.
Lincoln Loud: *sad* Oh, get it out of my sight! Now that I have no means of purchasing food for myself.
Gary the Snail: Meow!
Lily Loud: Gawy! *laughs*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, don't get down on yourself, buddy. You can still purchase food for me.
Lincoln Loud: Oh, no, I can't, SpongeBob. I lost my job today. I won't be able to buy food for you, *sniffles* or Charles, or your pet Gary, *sniffles again* or for anybody!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *shocked* Oh, no! What are you gonna do?!
Lincoln Loud: *sad* I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! SpongeBob, you’ve been a fry cook for so long I... I don't think I can do anything else.
Leni Loud: *gets an idea, happily* I know, Lincoln! Just do what I do when I'm looking for a job at the mall. *runs to the couch, then sits on it* Kick back, watch some TV, *turns the TV on with a remote* and read the magazine!
Screen cuts to a close up shot of the magazine holding it in Leni’s hand. Screen cuts back to Leni reading her magazine, then cuts to Patrick.
Patrick Star: Hey, Lincoln! I got a carton on Drinkable Sausage!
Screen cuts to a close up shot of a carton of Drinkable Sausage holding it in Patrick’s hand. Screen cuts back to Patrick.
Patrick Star: *drinks from the carton*
Ashley Roberts: Hmm.
Screen cuts to a close up shot of a sports magazine holding it in Ashley’s hand.
Ashley Roberts: A sports magazine!
Screen cuts back to Ashley.
Ashley Roberts: *smiles* That's it! Lincoln, you got the job!
Charles from The Loud House: *barks while sitting on some newspaper*
Lincoln Loud: *happily* Good, Charles! There had to be some job openings in the classifieds. *picks up one newspaper while noticing its dirty smell* Whoa! Although, these ads smell a little out of date. I better get some fresh ones.
Slide transition cuts to Lincoln reading a clean newspaper.
Lincoln Loud: Lawyer, no. Too much arguing. Stunt driver, don't have a boating license. Astronaut, don't like food in a bag. Oh, this one sounds interesting. Bank Teller Needed. That shouldn't be too much of a stretch from my tools.
Slide transition cuts to Lincoln counting money at a bank while having his name tag on.
Lincoln Loud: 20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97. *flips money up with my tools, then chops it all up, some flying onto Fred's head, forming the money into the Loud House*
As seen in a close-up shot of it.
Lincoln Loud: There!
Employee: *takes Lincoln's name tag off*
Lincoln Loud: Ow!
Slide transition cuts to Lincoln hammering a nail while building a house.
Lincoln Loud: What do you think, boss?
Carpenter: *looks at his house, shocked* Clam shells! What have you done, boy? *looks at a piece of paper showing what the real house looks like, then looks at a house built by Lincoln shaped into the Loud House* I told you to build me a real house, not the Loud House! *kicks SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley out of the construction site*
Lincoln Loud: I guess I'm not a carpenter anymore. *walks in front of a billboard showing a live model* I need to start fresh.
Some words on the billboard sparkle as Lincoln talks.
Lincoln Loud: With a job that feels... natural. Something that says, "This is a job for a model." Any idea where I can find a job like that, guys?
Patrick: No. Oh, but, yes! It's so obvious!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lincoln, you should work at the Krusty Krab with me. They need a fry cook!
Lincoln Loud: I can't, guys. That's the job, but I got grounded from home, remember?
Patrick Star: Ohhh. Mayhaps you should talk to your model behind you. He looks happy.
Ashley Roberts: That's just a billboard, Patrick.
Patrick Star: Lincoln, why don't you get a job as a billboard?
Lincoln Loud: I...don't think that's physically possible, *happily* but I could audition to be a sponge model.
Patrick Star: Fine, do it your way.
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley walking into The City Television (TCTV) building
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow! What a setup! Oh, I don't know. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I don't have the talent.
Patrick Star: Oh, he has the talent. But do you have the natural ability?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah.
Lincoln Loud: Wait, isn't that the same thing?
Patrick Star: Why don't you find out?
Lincoln Loud: *quickly covers the door* Wait! I can't do this, Patrick. What if I don't stack up to the competition? Maybe I should just beg Mr. Krabs for my old job back. *starts walking out*
But Patrick stops him.
Patrick Star: No way. It's too late for that now. Mr. Krabs doesn't need you anymore. Lincoln, this is your chance. You must see the casting director. Now get in there and earn me some groceries! *pushes Lincoln through the door to a lady human, a casting director, looking at a clipboard*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *to casting director* My friend here wants to audition for the Linc model role.
Lincoln Loud: Oh, well, want is a strong word. I'd like an audition, but if you've already cast it, that's fine if you cast it.
Ashley Roberts: *to Patrick and Leni* I think she's already cast it. We'd better go, Patrick and Leni.
Leni Loud: Oh.
Female Human Casting Director: *stops SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley from walking out* Hold it. You want the audition, kid? You got it.
Lincoln Loud: *turns my whole body around, happily* I did?
Female Human Casting Director: Show me what you got.
Lincoln Loud: *sweats, worried* Okay. Here goes. *clears throat* Guys, Ashley, please?
Ashley Roberts: *hands out a metal tool and plays a note*
Lincoln Loud: ♪Laaa!♪ *clears throat again* Sorry. *keeps clearing throat and getting a perfect pitch at the same time, from high to low*
Female Human Casting Director: Okay, okay, okay, I get it already! Let's get on with this train wreck.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, getting on it. *clears throat yet again, then sings off-key* ♪When you dream upon a wish, you'll be heartened to know, that hope fills your dish, to the brim!♪
Female Human Casting Director: *unenthusiastically* All right, all right. Thank you. I've heard enough.
Lincoln Loud: *runs closely to the casting director* How'd I do?
Female Human Casting Director: Horribly. I've seen clams with more talent than you.
Lincoln Loud: *falls down*
Female Human Casting Director: But since the role specifically calls for a real boy, the part is yours.
Lincoln Loud: *slowly gets up*
Female Human Casting Director: Here's the script. We start shooting tomorrow at 10. Don't be late.
Lincoln Loud: *smiles, happily snatches the script, then jumps out of the building* I guess a boy can make it in this town. *my pupils turn into stars* I am going to be a star!
A crowd suddenly comes close to Lincoln, cheering while holding camera and microphones, while a news reporter faces a camera close to Lincoln.
Camila: Hello, this is Camila live on the breaking news. I'm standing here with the new face of television, Mr. Lincoln Loud. *to Lincoln* I'm sure the viewing audience would love to know, how does it feel to be the next big thing?
Lincoln Loud: Fantastic. *puts on sunglasses, then signs an autograph and waves at the crowd*
Crowd: *chants* Lincoln! Lincoln! Lincoln! Lincoln!
Screen cuts to Lincoln with his eyes closed.
Leni Loud: Lincoln. Hey, Lincoln. Did you say something?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lincoln. Talk, buddy.
Lincoln Loud: Oh, yes, I did. *points to myself* I said, "You're looking at the new face of television."
Patrick Star, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: All right! / Totes! / Goody!
Lincoln Loud: Well, I better go home and get some beauty sleep.
Patrick Star: Yeah, beauty sleep!
Ashley Roberts: Patrick?!
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley walking on the road.
Lincoln Loud: That's right. You are looking at a changed model. But don't worry. I won't forget all the people who held me on the way up.
Mr. Krabs: *walks by and carries golf supplies and even wears golf clothes* Afternoon, Mr. Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: Ah, just as I was saying. I'd like to thank you for giving me my humble start. I won't forget you.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: *walks by*
Mr. Krabs: *scratches my head* What was that about? Oh, probably just nonsense and babbling, as usual. *walks away*
Slide transition to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley on the street right next to SpongeBob's pineapple.
Lincoln Loud: Guys, when next you see me, it shall be on the television. *walks into the Loud House*
The slide transition cuts to Lincoln walking back into The City Television (TCTV) building towards a female human casting director, working on a computer.
Female Human Casting Director: Oh, Lincoln Loud! You're back!
Lincoln Loud: A star's first day is his most important.
Female Human Casting Director: Great. Let me see if they're ready on set. *through a microphone* Lincoln's here, sir. Uh-huh. Okay, great. *to Lincoln* Okay, you can go right in.
Lincoln Loud: Yippee! *happily runs into the set, toward a spotlight* I am ready for my close-up, Mr. Director.
Fish Director: *with a French accent* Very well. *through a megaphone* Lose the clothes!
A claw snatches Lincoln's clothes, making him naked.
Fish Director: Hans! Where's my star?!
Hans: *comes out of a dressing room, turns Lincoln into a sponge and grabs him*
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): Whoa! What's happening?
The Lights turn on behind Lincoln, showing a dirty bathroom set.
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): What's happening?!
Fish Director: In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom mixtures.
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): Okay, so, uh, where's my cleaning utensil?
Fish Director: *mumbles angrily and quietly* Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil.
Lincoln suddenly frowns.
Fish Director: Roll speed!
A red light turns on from a camera. As a movie assistant, Charlie is holding a movie clipboard.
Charlie: New Sponge Commercial: Take one. *closes clipboard*
Fish Director: *through a megaphone*:Action!
Announcer: *offscreen* Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster. Get it cleaned up fast with...the new sponge!
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): *on camera, groans*
Announcer: Household chores are a snap with a new sponge. It cleans sinks.
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): Hey, what are you doing? I'm not a spo–
Sink shines after being cleaned by a now dirty Lincoln as a sponge
Announcer: Just look at that shine! New sponge cuts through even the toughest grime and grit. New sponge also cleans showers!
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): *screams*
Hans: *cleans the shower with Lincoln as a sponge, which shines too*
Announcer: Ha, ha! That tile looks good as new!
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): *sighs, tired*
Announcer: But best of all, new sponge can make any toilet sparkle!
As Lincoln hears this, he looks at the toilet dirty inside before going straight in.
Lincoln Loud (Sponge): Noooo!
He suddenly stops right before he goes in.
Lincoln Loud (Dirty): *turns myself back to normal* I can't do this!
Fish Director: *through a megaphone* Cut!
Lincoln Loud (Dirty): I'm sorry. I don't think I'm cut out for acting.
Fish Director: Was? You said you were professional actor.
Lincoln Loud (Dirty): Well, I'm not. I am Lincoln Loud. That's what I am, and that's what I've always been! I'm sorry to waste your time, mister. *walks away*
Fish Director: Wait! Wait!
The slide transition cuts to Lincoln walking back to Ashley, while she is waiting for Lincoln. He finally arrives looking dirty.
Ashley Roberts: Lincoln, what happened? You look dirty? And why are you naked?
Screen cuts to Lincoln with a dirty look, then it cuts back.
Lincoln Loud (Dirty): Ashley, I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me?
Ashley Roberts: I forgive you. And I'm sorry too. Let's go to the Krusty Krab. I can't wait.
Lincoln Loud (Dirty): Uh, Ashley?
Lincoln is still dirty.
Ashley Roberts: Oh, right.
The slide transition cuts to Mr. Krabs making a money pyramid in his office.
Mr. Krabs: Ever so gently...
Lincoln Loud: *slams door loudly, causing Mr. Krabs' money pyramid to fall down* Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krab: Huh?!
Lincoln Loud: Please let me back, please! I promise I'll do better. *hugs Mr. Krabs* Please.
Mr. Krabs: Boy, what are you talking about?!
Lincoln Loud: *sniffles* I heard you on the phone saying you were gonna let the little guy go. But I don't wanna go! Please don't let me go, Mr. Krabs! You're looking at the little guy that doesn't want to go.
Mr. Krabs: All right, boy-o! I won't get rid of ya: on one condition.
Lincoln Loud: *happily nods*
The slide transition cuts to Lincoln and Ashley with her hat! happily mopping a toilet.
Ashley Roberts: Oh goody, Lincoln! I love your job! And that's my hat by the way!
Lincoln Loud: Yeah! This is the best job in the world!
Hans: Hey, could you keep it down in there?
He is shown reading a newspaper in a stall while on a toilet.
Hans: I'm trying to concentrate.
Screen fades in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
Category:Transcripts
Category:The esa Episodes
Category:The esa Season 7 Transcripts