Serious Tingling

Space Tree dies. OR DOES HE? No.
== Transcript ==
(Fades into the intruder detekter)
(The Commander pushes a button on it)
COMMANDER: Look out Space Tree, there's something coming in from the starboard bow!
SPACE TREE: Uh oh! My Space Tree sense is tingling!
VOICE: Space Tree sense is tingling! Tingling good- (A circle encloses Space Tree and rotates once)
SPACE TREE: Wait a minute, there's no such thing as Space Tree sense. I gotta get this checked out.
(Cut to Space TrMee's Office)
MEE: Well Space Tree, according to my "Diagnoses" (Mee makes air quotes), that tingle you felt was an unremovable space tumor.
SPACE TREE: Yeah right-
MEE: Damnit man, this is a serious situation! You have 24 hours to live.
SPACE TREE: My god.
MEE: Just between you and me, I'm not actually a real doctor, y'know. I just stole this thing from that guy who plays Dr. House. I don't even know what it's for.
SPACE TREE: Why do the good always die so young.
MEE: Probably because you're so fat.
(Screen wipe to new area, Commander is walking in.)
SPACE TREE: Commander thanks for meeting me here. I'm afraid I've got some BAD news.
COMMANDER: Yeah, I heard, Space Tree. Dr. Marone just told me. He was all like 'Space Tree has a space tumor' and I was like (Modified voice) 'It's not a tumor'. Heh. And then he said it looks like it's hasta la vista for Space Tree. Heh. Y'know? They're quotes from that movie-
SPACE TREE: Damnit man, this is a serious situation. I only have 24 hours left to live.
COMMANDER: Well that doesn't mean you cant enjoy a good Schwarzenegger reference. 'You're not sending me to the cooler'.
SPACE TREE: SCREW YOU AND SCREW YOUR SCHWARZENEGGER IMPRESSION! AND SCREW ALLON! (Space Tree walks away)
COMMANDER: Gee whiz, what's THAT guy's problem?
ALLON: Don't you get it, Commander? Space Tree only has 24 hours left to live.
COMMANDER: Yeah, but what's that supposed to mean?
ALLON: He's gunna die.
COMMANDER: N**ga what!?
Screen wipe to a new room
MEE: Space Tree, I've taken the liberty of writing up this will for you. So if you'll just sign here it'll all be nice and legal.
WILL: (Written, not spoken) It all goes to Mee Marone. Except for the pizzas. I don't need the carbs. Word. Signed._______
SPACE TREE: (Signs the document) Fine, whatever.
MEE: Wow, that was pretty easy.
COMMANDER: (Walks in) Space Tree! I just found out that having 24 hours left to live means you're gunna DIE in 24 hours!
SPACE TREE: Well, I always thought you were the smart one in the class.
COMMANDER: Thanks, Space Tree. But now, I've got a surprise for you. (Backs out of view. The Tars roll in.)
TARBOB: Hi there, I'm Rafael Tarbob.
TARMEX: And I'm the other guy.
TARBOB: And we're here from the Requisition A Wish foundation. (As he says "Requisition A Wish", the letters on his button light up)
TARMEX: We've come here today to grant your dying wish. You lucky son of a bitch.
TARBOB: So what do you say, Mr. Tree? Requisition a wish and we'll grant it!
SPACE TREE: OK then, I wish that the both of you would frick off.
TARBOB: (Pause) You got it. (The Tars roll out.)
COMMANDER: You're welcome, Space Tree.
(Yet another room, presumably some time has passed)
SPACE TREE: Well everyone, my last 24 hours alive have been just as much fun as the other 223,214 hours. But now its time for me to go.
COMMANDER: By 'go' you mean die, right?
SPACE TREE: Yeah. So long, Commander. Thanks for granting my dying wish.
COMMANDER: Hasta la vista, Space Tree. (Leaves, crying)
SPACE TREE: (Walks over to GS) Bye, Ghost Spider. I know I always gave you a hard time, but y'know, deep down, I always wanted you to get the hell off my ship.
GHOST SPIDER: OK. (He walks off)
SPACE TREE: (Walks over to Random McPerson) And as for you, well, I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better.
RANDOM MCPERSON: I feel the same way.
SPACE TREE: Man, not much of a turn out at my final goodbye thing, is there. I mean not even Phillip Seymore Horseman showed up-
RANDOM MCPERSON: Get on with it!!
SPACE TREE: Alright, Alright! On the count of 3, I'll be dead. 1, 2-- (A TV drops down)
KIDNAPPER: (From the TV) Hello there, Space Tree! We meet again!
SPACE TREE: What, am I supposed to know you or something?
KIDNAPPER: It may interest you to know THIS! I have kidnapped your unremovable space tumor! So what do you have to say about that!
SPACE TREE: Uh, thanks?
MEE: Wait a minute, Space Tree! I was just going over my, uh, XRAYs, and it turns out the thing inside you wasn't even a tumor! (Holds up Space Tree's "XRAY" (see top of the article for picture.)) It was just your brain. And its a shame too, because I was all ready to slice it out with this thing I stole from the set of 'nip tuck'. (Produces scalpel)
KIDNAPPER: Damnit man, this is a serious situation! He did so have a tumor! And I've got it right here! See? (Holds up Allon)
SPACE TREE: No no, that's not a tumor, that's just Allon.
KIDNAPPER: Oh. Well I've got no use for this. (Points a revolver at Allon)
SPACE TREE: Hold on Kidnapper. There's no need for that. Just send him back here and I'll cover the postage costs.
KIDNAPPER: Well then what the hell am I gunna do with this bullet?? Oh, I know. (Puts gun in mouth, cut to the Commander, we hear the gunshot from off-screen)
COMMANDER: Wow Space Tree, you're going to pay for shipping AND handling? You must feeling pretty generous now that you're not dying.
SPACE TREE: That's right, Commander. My near death experience has given me a new outlook on life. (Now in sunglasses) From this day forward I'm going to spend my days helping the less fortunate.
(The screen goes red and says: 'The Very Next Day...' as a whistle plays
COMMANDER: Hey Space Tree, you wanna go help the less fortunate?
SPACE TREE: I sure do! (He stands next to a box that says Muffins 4 L.F.)
COMMANDER: What? I was just kidding.
To Be Continued...
(That's what it says. The transcript is complete.)
== Easter Eggs ==
* On the left side of the end screen, there is a hidden x-button. Click it to see the X-ray image of Space Tree. Click again to see the X-rays of Commander, Allon and Mee.
== Fun Facts ==
* According to a post on the Space Tree forum by Ed Atlin, this episode had some parts of the storyline of the discarded episode Seriouser Kidnapping.
* Space Tree notes that he's been alive for 223,214 hours, which is equivalent to about 25.5 years.
* The line "Damn it, man! This is a serious situation!" is used 3 times in this episode by Mee, Space Tree, and the Kidnapper.
== References ==
* This is the second time that the Commander has used the Intruder Detekter to detect something on the starboard bow. The previous time was back in Back to Beardland.
* The Kidnapper first appeared in Serious Kidnapping.
* "Space Tree sense tingling" is a reference to one of the superpowers of the famous comic book superhero Spider-Man.
* Commander does an impression or references Arnold Schwarzenegger multiple times- "It's not a tumor" is from Kindergarten Cop, "Hasta la vista" is from Terminator 2, and "You're not sending me to the cooler" is from Batman and Robin.
* Mee says that he stole his stethoscope from the guy who plays Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) on the American TV series House. His scalpel came from the show Nip/Tuck.
* The Requisition-A-Wish foundation is a parody of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
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