Kissing a Pig Quest/Spoiler

== Required Equipment ==
* A Rope
* A Machete or A Heavy Machete
* An Inkwell
* 5 Picks (readily available in the Dwarf Mines, where they are required)
* 1 Fire Bug
* 3 Liquid containers of Booze (Can be either Beer, Wine, Rum or Mead).
* Completion of the last seal in The Queen of the Banshees Quest; see that quest page for more information (you need a kiss from her).
== Method ==
#Go to Thais Farm south of the Magic Shop .
#You will see some pigs, one of them is a NPC Pig (NPC).
#If you ask the pig for a kiss, it will say that you need to improve your kissing skills.
#To do this, you'll need to ask some NPCs to teach you how to kiss.
Notes:
* You do not need to talk with the pig between each mission. Only at the start and end do you need to speak with it. However, the responses from the pig do differ each time, so it may be interesting to do.
* You can do the missions in any order. That is, if you have completed for example the banshee quest and asked the Banshee Queen for a kiss, repeating it is not required. The same goes for all other missions - you can do them in an arbitrary order. After finishing all of the missions in any order you will receive the achievement Passionate Kisser.
* In addition to the note above, completing The Queen of the Banshees Quest prior to this quest's implementation should not hinder your progress of this quest. 
=== Saving Caramellia ===
thumb|You advanced in lawn mowing.
Travel to Hoggle's fishing hut far north-east of Thais (), and inquire about his unusual garden growth. He will speak of his aching back and request that you trim his grass for a meagre 5 gold reward. Take your Machete (or equivalent) and cut the Jungle Grass growing in his yard (through the sealed door). Cut to a specific tile located one square to the north and seven squares to the west of the sealed door to get an orange message stating that you "advanced in lawn mowing", and return to Hoggle about his garden being trimmed; you are given 5 Gold Coins.
Note: if Hoggle does not respond as he should, as in the transcripts below, chances are that you have completed this part already.
Now that you have become more skilled in cutting grass, you can cut the rapidly-growing grass at Femor Hills (and prevent it from growing under your feet). Head to the Femor Hills and search for the tower barred by the grass. Use your machete on the grass and climb to the top of the tower. On the top floor, talk to Caramellia and about her husband Winfred, and quote his letter True love never dies.
Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss.
=== Poem for Elvith ===
In the elven town of Ab'Dendriel you have to go visit Elvith and ask him for a kiss. He will not reveal his secrets of kissing to the unworthy, so you have to impress him with a poem. To write poetry you need an inkwell and Blank Poetry Parchment, the latter you can buy from the NPC Olrik (the Ab'Dendriel postman, in the southernmost building). Use the inkwell on the parchments until you get a perfect poem (4 times).
:
Notes: 
*You can only write on the poetry parchment in between your two encounters with Elvith. Elvith will take your poem when you talk to him again, so be sure to make more than one poem if you wish to keep one.
*In extension of the above; if you cannot use the inkwell on the parchment, you have already completed this part.
Now go back to Elvith and give him the poem.
Optionally, return to the pig and ask for another kiss.
=== Ice cream for Lynda ===
In Thais you have to go see the NPC Lynda of the Temple. She is unwilling to discuss kissing with you, but luckily you will be able to persuade her with some venorean ice cream. Either head into Venore yourself or have someone else go to the top floor of the depot and trade with the NPC Boozer. He sells venorean ice cream. You need to deliver it to Lynda before it melts (2 minutes). 
Notes: 
* You can have someone in Venore to send the ice cream to Thais, however it will also melt in your depot. 
* If you are heading into Venore yourself, finish the next mission before you go buy the ice cream.
Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss.
=== Play with Zebron ===
Go to Venore, search for the NPC Zebron under the depot. Ask him for a Kiss and tell him that you are Worthy. He will invite you to play dice. In order for him to tell you his kissing secrets, you have to win three times in a row (winning a game doesn't cost you anything, if you lose he will take 25 gold).
Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss.
=== Favour for Dwarven Ghost ===
Head to the Dwarf Mines and to the NPC Budrik (the north-westernmost mine). He will ask 5 Picks from you in exchange for access to the Grothmok Tunnel. The Dwarves drop picks and there are some along the Daily Respawns in the mine entrances, so it is not necessary to bring them from town.
Once you are granted access, head toward the fifth floor (4 floors below Budrik). To the south of the rope hole, there's a room (to which you just granted access). In the back of the room is the NPC A Dwarven Ghost (). If you ask him for a kiss he responds that he will only in return of a favour (note the British spelling, saying favor does not trigger his response).
In return for his knowledge about kissing he wants that you find and burn his fake beard. Bring a firebug and head to his room in the Kazordoon Quarters, west of the Upper Barracks (). A coal basin lies in his apartment, as well as the chest containing his beard.
Once inside, open the chest and find his beard; light the coal basin using the firebug (it burns for about 2 minutes), and use the beard on it while it is lit. If questing in groups, each player does not need to light the basin - all that is required is burning the beard.
Return to A Dwarven Ghost and tell him you have burnt his beard. 
Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss.
=== Kiss Toothless Tim ===
In the sewer of Carlin you will find the drunk NPC Toothless Tim, in the underground bar. (Use the sewers right in front of the depot, and head to the south) In order to understand what he says, you yourself must be drunk. You need to drink 3 containers of liquor (Beer, Wine, Rum or Mead; the nearby NPC Karl sells mugs of Beer for 20 gold each) and then ask Tim for a kiss. Now that you're able to understand his drunk mumbling, also his secrets about kissing are revealed to you.
Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss.
=== Kiss from The Queen Of The Banshee ===
Notes: 
* If you already kissed The Queen Of The Banshee, you can skip this mission, go kiss the pig and claim your reward.
* When this quest was implemented, there was a bug that allow players finish it without kissing to the Queen. The bug was fixed and this is not longer possible.
You need to have done all the seals of the Banshee Quest, so that you can get a kiss from The Queen Of The Banshee. Go to The Queen Of The Banshee, guarded by 4 banshees and a lot of other creatures, and ask her for a kiss. 
Note: You need to be level 60 or higher to complete this part of the quest. If you're not, The Queen Of The Banshee will say that you're not experienced enough and not kiss you.
=== Claiming your reward ===
If you have done all missions, you can go back to the pig and kiss it again. Hearts will appear and the pig will reveal it isn't a cursed prince/princess, but will reward you for your effort.
If all is correct you can get the reward (a Firlefanz) in the cellar of the farmhouse near the pig (some steps to the west), .
== Dialogs transcription ==
=== Saving Carmellia ===
* Pig in Thais
* Hoggle in Thais
*Hoggle, after cutting the grass.
* Caramellia in Femor Hills
* Pig in Thais (optional)
=== Poem for Elvith ===
* Elvith in Ab'Dendriel
:
* Pig in Thais (optional)
=== Ice cream for Lynda ===
* Boozer in Venore
:
* Lynda in Thais
* Pig in Thais (optional)
=== Play with Zebron ===
* Zebron in Venore
* Pig in Thais (optional)
=== Favour for Dwarven Ghost ===
* Budrik in Kazordoon
* A Dwarven Ghost in Kazordoon
:
* Pig in Thais (optional)
=== Kissing Toothless Tim ===
* Toothless Tim in Carlin (while drunk)
* Pig in Thais (optional)
=== Kiss from The Queen Of The Banshee ===
* Pig in Thais