The Backstory of Jasbre

The Backstory of Jasbre is the seventh episode of Season Two of A spin-off just for spin-off kings.
==Place==
This episode was fourth in the supervillain backstory theme. (ELIM)
==Transcript==
[Episode begins with Jasbre walking down the street with a remote in hand.]
Jasbre: Tee hee hee. He'll never see this coming.
[Jasbre shows up outside BP HQ. He presses a button on his remote. Cut to CrazySponge inside BP HQ typing something on his computer.]
CrazySponge: fortnite… porn… dot com-
[A nuke siren sounds. CrazySponge begins freaking out.]
CrazySponge: WHAT THE- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!
[A nuke fucking blows up the place.]
Jasbre: HA HA!! YOU JUST GOT PRANKED, KID!
CrazySponge: JASBRE WHAT THE FUCK?! IM TRYING TO JACK OFF TO FORTNITE PORN!!!
Jasbre: First of all, that's disgusting. Second of all, I DID THIS BECAUSE YOU RUINED MY REPUTATION, BRO!
CrazySponge: wut how
Jasbre: By existing.
Matchy: Yep. That's Jasbre all right.
CrazySponge: say, jasbre, why do you hate me so?
Jasbre: Because you're a prick!
CrazySponge: jasbre why are you like this
Jasbre: For that, we must go back to my childhood.
CrazySponge: oh fuck not another coming of age story-
[Cut to Jasbre's childhood. A young Jasbre, wearing a propeller hat, is carrying around some notebooks.]
Jasbre: Ah, I love being me.
[All of a sudden, Bugs Bunny appears. Young Jasbre is startled and almost drops his notebooks.]
CrazySponge: (voiceover) so uh where are you going with this
Jasbre: (voiceover) Shut up and keep watching.
Bugs Bunny: What's up, doc?
Jasbre: My name is Jasbre, not doc, and who are you?
Bugs Bunny: Are you joking? I've been in over 160 pictures!
Jasbre: Pictures?
Bugs Bunny: I'll make this simple. I'm a well-known cartoon character.
Jasbre: Mickey Mouse?
Bugs Bunny: (sigh) The name's Bunny. Bugs Bunny.
Jasbre: Hi Bunny Bugs Bunny.
Jasbre: (voiceover) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Comedy gold. Even a decade ago I was a knockout.
CrazySponge: (voiceover) can you get on with it
Jasbre: (voiceover) STOP INTERRUPTING!
Jasbre: Okay, so, why did you appear in front of me for no reason?
Bugs Bunny: I'm trying to achieve world domination, so watch my cartoons, why dontcha?
Jasbre: Maybe later.
Bugs Bunny: Great! See ya later!
[He vanishes.]
CrazySponge: (voiceover) so what was the point of that
Jasbre: (voiceover) You'll see. Also, STOP INTERRUPTING!
[Cut to Young Jasbre watching funny cartoons in his house.]
Jasbre: I don't get it. Why is the rabbit man calling the fat dude 'doc'?
[He presses a button on his remote control and the cartoon switches to a Daffy Duck one. Jasbre explodes in hysterical laughter.]
Jasbre: THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN! I'd say it's even funnier than poop!
Jasbre: (voiceover) And so, Jasbre decided to be more like Daffy.
CrazySponge: (voiceover) this story makes no sense
Jasbre: (voiceover) SHUT UP!
[We see Young Jasbre acting dumb around other ducks.]
Jasbre: You're despi-kickable.
Duck 1: What?
Jasbre: Sufferin' suckytash!
Duck 2: You make no sense whatsoever.
Jasbre: I made a lotto wise quickers!
Duck 3: Shut up. You're not funny.
Jasbre: WHAT?!
Jasbre: (voiceover) And then he blew up the school.
[Cut back to Jasbre and CrazySponge.]
CrazySponge: your story made no sense whatsoever. wasnt this supposed to be a supervillain backstory? youre not a supervillain and there was nothing remotely evil in your story. hell, apart from blowing up my hq (and maybe the school but i dont believe that) you did nothing evil in this episode! you are such a bad supervillain even fucking superman is a better villain than you! and no, by saying that, im not saying youre good. youre not a supervillain, youre just an annoying prick. now leave me be and please dont come back.
Jasbre: no u
CrazySponge: OH GOD OH FU-
[CrazySponge vanishes.]
Jasbre: See? I am a villain. The worst of the worst.
[Now time for a super original song because i have no other ideas lol.]
You're a mean one, Jasbre,
You really are a heel!
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel, Jasbre.
You're a mad mallard with a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Jasbre.
Your heart's an empty hole!
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul, Jasbre.
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a vile one, Jasbre.
You have termites in your smile!
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile, Jasbre.
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a foul one, Jasbre.
You're a nasty wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks,
Your soul is full of gunk, Jasbre.
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
"Stink! Stank! Stunk!"
You're a rotter, Jasbre.
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots, Jasbre.
Your soul is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable
Mangled up in tangled up knots!
You nauseate me, Jasbre,
With a nauseous super "naus!"
You're a crooked dirty jockey,
And you drive a crooked horse, Jasbre.
You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!
Jasbre: no u
Oh god oh fuck!
[End]
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