Don't Feed the Boss (Rewrite)/transcript

== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: February 17, 2018
Episode Copyrighted: 2018
Episode Produced: 2017
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins at Reininger's. Leni is at the register and offering a pair of gloves to Scoots.
Leni Loud: OMGosh, I'm thinking these gloves would look super chic on you, Scoots.
Scoots from The Loud House: *tries the gloves on* Oh, these are too tight! My fingers can't breathe!
Cheryl from The Loud House: *approaches the register* Excuse me, darling. I'm going line-dancing tonight, and I need to know which of those britches are best for boot-scooting!
Leni Loud: Sorry, Cheryl, but when there's a line, you have to wait your turn.
Cheryl from The Loud House: *hands Leni the britches* Ooh, aren't I a rude goose. Y'all got a rhinestone vest section?
Leni Loud: Over behind the chaps! *turns back to Scoots and folds the britches* So, how are we feeling about the gloves? They're snug in all the right places.
Scoots from The Loud House: Hmmm... I don't know…
Tyler from The Loud House: *passes by* Sweet ride. Sweeter gloves.
Scoots's shades break.
Scoots from The Loud House: Here's a tip for a job well done!
She hands Leni money and speeds off.
Leni Loud: *pushes a button on the register*
Ms. Carmichael: Leni, can I see you in the back?
Leni Loud: Sure. But first, can I interest you in a new floral fanny pack? Oh, sorry, Ms. C. I can't turn it off!
In the back, Fiona and Miguel are waiting with Employee of the month.
Leni Loud: Yay! 
Ms. Carmichael: You, Leni Loud, are Reininger's Employee of the Month! *shows a plaque with said award*
Leni Loud: Eee! I'm Employee of the Month!
Miguel: It's just the second one, Len.
Ms. Carmichael: Remember when you first started? Oh! We had a few bumps in the road.
Flashback to Leni's first day on the job. She's talking to a man who has picked out a yellow sweater.
Leni Loud: OMGosh. I cannot let you buy that, sir.
Male Shopper: Oh, thanks for your opinion, but I-
Leni Loud: It's so not your color.
Male Shopper: *returns the sweater to Leni*
Back to the present.
Ms. Carmichael: We are so proud of how far you've come.
Leni Loud: Thank you! But the break room isn't that far from the register.
She takes a bite of the cake as Ms. Carmichael facepalms. The slide transition cuts to a local circus. A giant jellyfish and an elephant snail are performing in the center ring.
The elephant snail: *makes its loud trumpet roar, then splits saliva onto SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: I hear the circus! *laughs*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow Leni, you're employee of the month!
Leni Loud: Yes, I'm employee of the month!
Ringmaster: Children of all ages! Get ready to wet your baggy pants laughing! Send in the clowns! *grabs my assistant and uses like a whip* He-yah!
A small car enters the center ring. It drives around and around until several clowns come out.
Ringmaster: Our candy-corn-fed clowns once roamed the slapstick plains where wild clowns run free! *grabs myassistant and uses as a whip again* He-yah!
The clowns: *lines up*
He whips them again.
Ringmaster: He-yah!
The clowns: *forms into a pyramid*
He whips them again.
The Ringmaster: He-yah!
The clowns: *forms into a ferris wheel*
He whips them again.
Ringmaster: He-yah!
The clowns: *form into a balloon donkey; it brays and explodes*
The clowns: *waves at the audience*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *cheers wildly*
Lincoln Loud: Look, there's those!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sees a small clown* Oh. Are you hungry, little clown? *tries to feed the little clown a piece of popcorn*
Leni Loud: Hey Ms. Carmichael. Here you go. *tries to give it to Ms. Carmichael*
Ringmaster: *whips them* He-yah! *to SpongeBob* DON'T FEED THE CLOWNS! *to Leni* DON'T FEED THE BOSS!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *melts in my body*
SpongeBob SquarePants and Leni Loud: Why not?
Lincoln Loud: Huh?
Patrick Star *pulls SpongeBob together* SpongeBob, are you mad? Clowns are dangerous animals. Why, at any moment, one of those things could get loose and bite our feet off! *pulls off my feet*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni, that little clown wouldn't do that. He was friendly.
The little clown: *waves at the audience until notices my clown friends climbing back into their car, then pushes the bigger clown in the car and follows them in*
The car crashes into a pole and the clowns fall out unconscious. An ambulance drives into the ring. Two paramedics come out with a stretcher.
SpongeBob and Patrick are biting their nails in worry. 
Paramedics: *carries the clowns to the ambulance*
The little clown: *climbs on to the top, takes out a flower and pretends to die, then wakes up and waves to the audience*
The audience: *laughs*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* I wanna go backstage and see the clowns, Patrick.
Patrick Star: I told you, SpongeBob, our feet are in danger!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *grabs Patrick and Lincoln*
Just as he was about to leave.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'll protect you. *drags Patrick and Lincoln backstage and hides behind some crates*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ooh.
The clowns: *walks into a pen*
As if they were farm animals.
The clowns: *licks ourselves, pick on each other's hair and sniffs around*
The little clown: *walks up and takes off my hat* Huh?
The tall clown: *takes my foot and pushes the little clown and sends him flying to the ding bell*
Leni Loud: Aw, poor little guy.
Ringmaster: *dumps candy in a bin and whistles for the clowns*
The clowns: *runs up and eat the candy like animals*
The little clown: *wants to eat some*
He couldn't get in between the bigger clowns.
The big clowns: *walks away and leaves the little clown with no food*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, he didn't get any food. Hmm. *sneaks away and walks up to the sad, little clown* Hey, psst!
Little Clown: Huh? *hoos happily*
As SpongeBob is about to feed him popcorn.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *dumps popcorn in the little clown's hands*
Leni Loud: *gives it to Ms. Carmichael*
Ringmaster: *catches them and whips them, to SpongeBob* DON'T FEED THE CLOWNS! *to Leni* DON'T FEED THE BOSS!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Leni Loud: *screams and runs away from the circus with Patrick and Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: Ow!
Patrick Star: My feet!
Leni Loud: *runs away*
Ringmaster: Pack it up, everyone. *whips again* He-yah!
The clowns: *folds up the tent like an umbrella and pack up all of our props*
The little clown attempted to help, but he gets stepped on and pushed around by the other clowns. The clowns load up the car, including the elephant snail, and begin to drive away.
The little clown: *gets up and tries to catch up to the circus*
They kept on driving. The little clown is now lost with Leni. The slide transition cuts to SpongeBob dragging a bag of popcorn the next morning.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't care what that mean old ringmaster says. That clown is hungry, and I'm gonna feed him. *sees cotton candy flying everywhere, but the circus is not there* Hey, where'd the circus go? Now I'll never find that little clown. *trips over Leni something and drops his bag of popcorn*
He gets up and sees the little clown.
The little clown: *gets scared and squirts SpongeBob and Leni with my flower*
SpongeBob SquarePants and Leni Loud: *gets choked on with water and gulps it down*
SpongeBob SquarePants: There you are.
The little clown: *squeaks*
Leni Loud: Hey, little clown. The circus left without you!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Quick, we gotta get you back to your clown friends. *tries to get the little clown moving*
The clown refuses to budge.
Leni Loud: Oh, you don't want to go back to the circus?
The little clown: *shakes my head, saying "no"*
Leni Loud: You don't want to be a circus clown?
The little clown: *holds out a circus pennant and eats it*
He then waves his hand in front of his face and makes his frown into a smile.
Leni Loud: You know, little clown, I don't blame you. You shouldn't stay in a place where they push you around all the time.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Looks like I'll have to help you find a new job.
Leni Loud: But what else can you do?
The little clown: *points to a hot dog stand*
Leni Loud: Oh, you want to work there?
The little clown: *nods my head, saying "yes"*
SpongeBob SquarePants: This job should be a snap, little clown. Watch me. *shows the little clown how to make a hot dog* ♪Pick up the hot dog, put it in a bun, add the mustard, relish, now you're having fun♪
The little clown: *eats the hot dog*
Leni Loud: OMGosh! Yay! *claps my hands*
Fish customers: Oh-ho-ho, hot dog! Look at that. *holds up money* Looks like fun!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *quietly* Okay, you're on.
Leni Loud: *smiles*
The little clown: *takes out several hot dogs without the tongs*
The hog dogs burn the little clown's hand and juggle them. He throws the hot dogs in the customers eyes, which causes them to scream.
The little clown: *squirts mustard in the customers mouths with my flower*
Fish customers: *runs off*
Vendor: *arrives* My wieners! *growls*
Leni Loud: Oh, is this your cart? Sorry.
Vendor: *grabs SpongeBob, Leni and the little clown*
He stuffs SpongeBob in a bun like a hot dog and sprits the little clown and Leni on him like ketchup and mustard.
Vendor: *throws SpongeBob, Leni and the little clown away*
The slide transition cuts to SpongeBob's house.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I think you'll get a job a lot quicker if we tone down the whole clown thing a smidge. Don't worry. When I get through with you, your own ringmaster won't recognize you.
Several balloon animals pop on the screen.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *shaves the little clown's hair*
He turns the little clown's pants strap into a tie. He puts a tuxedo on the little clown and replaces the clown's shoes with regular shoes.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *smooches myself and shows the little clown his new look*
Leni Loud: *puts one more detail on the clown: a mustache*
The little clown is happy and claps. The slide transition cuts to a department building.
SpongeBob SquarePants: "Businessmen wanted." *opens the door* Go get 'em, little clown. Oh, I mean, Mr. Little Clown. *laughs*
Leni Loud: Good luck, little clown.
As the little clown enters the building.
The little clown: *presents myself to the CEO*
CEO: Hmm? *grabs the little clown and puts him in his work station* Here's your stool. And here's your stamper. Now get to work.
The little clown: *begins my job and stamps several paperwork*
SpongeBob SquarePants and Leni Loud: *teary-eyed* Aww. *sheds a tear and leaves*
The little clown: *continues stamping the papers*
He then stamps the papers with his feet. Then he stamps ink all over his face. He stamps his face onto the papers. He jumps on the conveyor belt and hops up and down. He stamps a checkmark on two employers and a no sign on another.
A security guard: *drags the employer with the no sign out*
CEO: *hears the commotion* Hmm?
He sees the little clown stamping his buttocks on the papers and making a total mess. He growls and pulls the conveyor belt down towards him.
CEO: Who hired this clown?!
CEO's assistant: Um, you did, sir.
The little clown: *squeaks*
CEO: *gets really mad and explodes a mushroom cloud over my head* FIRED!
The little clown: *screams and runs out of the building*
SpongeBob is flipping a coin until the little clown runs into him and Leni.
Leni Loud: Aw, what happened, little clown? Didn't you like that job?
The little clown: *nods my head, saying "no", blows up a whoopee cushion and presses on it*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hmm. *sees a fire hydrant* Ooh!
Leni Loud: *sees a fire hydrant* A fire hydrant, that's it! We're gonna be firefighters!
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob and Leni taking the little clown, who is now dressed in their firefighting outfit, to the Fire Department. Leni is dressed as a firefighter.
Firefighter Leni Loud: Firefighter Leni is on.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Maybe a career in firefighting.
Firefighter Leni Loud: *opens the door and the little clown goes into the fire department*
The fire engine drives out with the little clown.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Have a nice fire!
Firefighter Leni Loud: *waves*
The little clown: *waves to SpongeBob and Leni*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *goes to leave, then stops* We'll just make sure he gets there safely. *smacks my head and my bump glows red; then makes siren sounds*
Firefighter Leni Loud: *goes to the fire hydrant* I'll open you, hydrant. *opens the fire hydrant, then connects the hose to a fire hydrant* That's how to put the fire out. *turns on the fire hydrant to put the water out from the house and hums*
The fire engine drives up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School as it is completely on fire. The ladder crashes into the school's burning sign and firefighters struggle to put out the fire. The little clown clings onto the hose as SpongeBob and Leni arrive at the scene.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *mimics siren sounds* Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not Mrs. Puff's Boating School!
Firefighter Leni Loud: *gasps*
Mrs. Puff: *sticks myself out the window* Save me! Save me! I'm too young to broil!
The little clown: *screams and grabs a bucket*
He climbs up a ladder and instead of saving her and putting out the fire, he throws confetti in her face. The entire boating school becomes engulfed in flames until everything is burnt to a crisp.
Mrs. Puff: *pants and puffs myself up* You're fired!
Mrs. Puff's outburst causes the little clown to fall to the ground.
Firefighter Leni Loud: *feels sad* Aww.
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob, Leni and the little clown at the bakery.
SpongeBob SquarePants: This is it, little clown. The last job available in Bikini Bottom. *puts a chef's hat on the little clown's head*
Leni Loud: *puts on a chef's hat on my head* Chef Leni is on.
The little clown: *whimpers and gets really nervous*
SpongeBob SquarePants: If you can just stop the clowning for two minutes, you'll have a job. Please! Sorry, little clown. It's been a long day. *laughs feebly* Good luck. *laughs*
Chef Leni Loud: It's your job, little clown.
The little clown: *waves my hand at my face and makes my frown become a smile then enters the bakery*
SpongeBob SquarePants and Chef Leni Loud: *peeks through the window*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Huh? *sees through donuts* Hmm. *gets blocked by a cake* Hmm. Aha! *pushes out my eyeballs* Now get in there, eyes, and stay close to that clown.
SpongeBob's eyeballs: *runs into the bakery and goes to watch over the little clown*
Head baker: Your job is to pack up the pies! now get to work
The little clown: *salutes in agreement*
Head baker: Hmm! *leaves*
SpongeBob's eyeballs: *hides behind some boxes.
The little clown: *sniffs some pies*
He remembers how he used to throw pies at the clowns as part of his act at the circus. He also remembered how he loved getting himself pied in the face. He looks over at the head baker, who is busy baking, and goes over to throw a pie at him.
SpongeBob's eyeballs: *yelps in fear*
SpongeBob SquarePants: No! No, little clown! No!
Chef Leni Loud: *screams, shocked* Ahhh! Little clown, stop!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Leni Loud: *runs into the bakery*
Chef Leni Loud: *comes into the kitchen, blocks head baker and screams* No!
As the little clown prepares to throw the pie. 
SpongeBob SquarePants: *comes into the kitchen like Leni did*
The little clown: *throws the pie*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *in slow motion and dives in front of Leni* Nooooo! *gets pied in the face then back to normal speed* 
Chef Leni Loud: *walks over to SpongeBob*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Phew! *laughs*
Chef Leni Loud: Are you okay, SpongeBob.
The little clown: *pies the fish head baker in the face*
He starts to act crazy and throws pies all over the place.
Chef Leni Loud: *screams and gets pied by The little clown*
He throws pies at three bakers and several customers waiting in line outside.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hot pepper pie?!
Nat Peterson: *gets pied with the hot pepper pie and my face burns and melts off*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lemon pie?!
Little fish kid: *gets pied with the lemon pie and my face sours up*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Honey pie?!
Fred Rechid: *gets pied with the honey pie then licks some honey* Mmm! *gets stung by bees and screams until my face is swollen*
Chef Leni Loud: *screams more* Aaahhhhh!
The little clown: *grabs SpongeBob's eyes and stuffs them in a pie then throws the pie with the eyeballs in them at SpongeBob*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Eye pie!
Fish head baker: *gets really angry*
The pie batter hardens up around him and cracks into pieces. He growls and grinds his teeth.
Fish head baker: You... Are…
Chef Leni Loud: Fired?
Fish head baker: *grabs SpongeBob, Leni and the little clown, then rolls them up into a batter and forms them into pie, then puts them both into a box and ties them up* Au revoir! *rings the bell and a deliver man takes it, then drives my pie truck away from the bakery and gives the pie to a lady sitting on the bench*
Tina Fran: Huh? I didn't order a pie. *opens the box
SpongeBob SquarePants, Leni Loud and the little clown: *pops out scaring her away*
Leni Loud: *rushes to the tree and screams in anger*
Fred Rechid: What in the name of Neptune is going on in that bakery?!
Leni Loud: *puts my hand close to my ear* Guys, I'm so sorry! We didn't get a day job!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, little clown, Leni, I'm so sorry too. I thought you needed a day job, but you're a clown. And a clown needs to run free.
The little clown: *goes to the bakery and cleans up this mess*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Look what little clown goes.
The little clown: *gets out of the bakery*
Leni Loud: *offers my left hand* Thanks, little clown! You’re a lifesaver!
Suddenly, the bakery explodes and it is set on fire when something really bad happens.
Leni Loud: *screams*
Fred Rechid: The bakery is on fire. Call the fire department.
The little clown: *screams and runs away*
Leni Loud: Little clown, wait up! *runs behind the little clown*
The little clown: *keeps running*
Leni Loud: *keeps running and pants*
The little clown: *opens the floor basement door*
Leni Loud: *runs to a hole* Little clown, no! *screams and falls to the basement with a whistling noise* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! *gets hurt by the table, then it breaks*
Suspense music plays.
The little clown: *laughs and shut the floor basement door*
Leni Loud: *groans* What's going on? Where am I? Huh?
Head baker: *to Leni* Leni, you’re fired!
Leni Loud: *screams* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *starts to run and pants* I gotta get outta here! *keeps panting*
Mrs. Puff: *to Leni* You’re fired!
Leni Loud: *keeps running*
CEO: *to Leni* You’re fired!
Leni Loud: *keeps running*
Vendor: *to Leni* You’re fired!
Leni Loud: *keeps running*
Ringmaster: *to Leni* You’re fired!
Fish employers: *to Leni* You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re fired!
Leni Loud: *screams in horror and goes up the ladder opening the floor basement door, then gets out the basement, then closes it*
Suspense music stops.
Leni Loud: SpongeBob, little clown, where are you?
SpongeBob SquarePants: We’re right here, Leni.
Leni Loud: I have to call my friends. *calls my friends* Miguel, Fiona, it’s me Leni.
Split screen between Leni and her friends; Miguel and Fiona are revealed to be at the spa.
Miguel: Hey, Leni-boo, we're having a self-care day! Wanna come with?
Leni Loud: *stressed* Guys, I can't. SpongeBob and little clown need something and I have no idea how to do anything and I'm totally hopeless!
Fiona: Hopeless? Um, I'm sorry, but this does not sound like the Leni Loud we know and love.
Miguel: Yeah, we've seen you kill it at work all the time. You're a total boss!
Fiona: Just tap into that confidence at home.
Miguel: All you need to do is think of your family as customers that don't pay.
Leni Loud: OMGosh, thanks, guys. I know what to do now. You're both, like, geniuses. Hmph! *hangs up* SpongeBob, little clown, I have to tell you something very important.
SpongeBob SquarePants: What is it?
Leni Loud: *cries* I'm fired for every job! *sobs*
SpongeBob SquarePants: It's okay, Leni! You can do your job at the mall better!
The little clown: *shakes my head, saying "yes"*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Come on, let's go and the clown needs you to run free.
The slide transition cuts to SpongeBob, Leni and the little clown traveling through the kelp forest.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *chops through the kelp with my knife*
He peeks through the kelp and reveals a colorful world full of clowns. Clowns are riding on balloon animals, eating candy for food, throwing pies at others, and doing other crazy things clowns do at the circus. The little clown was so happy and hugged SpongeBob and Leni. He joins the other clowns, who examine them by sniffing them. The spray water at them and the other clown throws a pie at his friends. The little clown takes out a hammer and smacks the other clown with it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Aww. *gets pie splattered on my pants*
Leni Loud: *gets pie splattered on my clothes*
The little clown: *waves goodbye to SpongeBob and Leni and runs off to join the other clowns*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Aww. *sheds a tear and gets pied in the face*
The little clown: *squeaks one last time*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs*
Leni Loud: *shrugs my shoulders and smiles*
It says "THE END". Episode ends.
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