Her Smile

She's an angel, you know? Just beautiful. Not everyone agrees with me, of course, but that's okay. I still think she's beautiful. Her wide puppy dog-like eyes, her big white smile, her flowing brown hair, her slender, but still hourglass-like figure. She knows I love her; how could she not?
I tell that to her all the time, and kiss her all the more. She's such a trooper, doesn't even blush; just smiles. God, I love her! She doesn't say much. She just looks back at me, smiling with that wide grin of hers. I know she likes me. I mean, how she looks back and just smiles, I know she does. I know, I mean she is shy, okay?
She doesn't say much, but she's still with me, that's proof there. She's never said a bad thing about me. She's always loyal, she never leaves, and she's always sitting there waiting patiently. She's always wanting to do things; I can see it in her eyes. And I smile to her, knowing exactly what she's thinking.
Even with all that happens, she knows how insecure I am. And she's so gracious, holding still as I pick her up, and making me feel far more masculine than I really am, letting me wrap her arms around me and carry her upstairs to the bedroom. I look down as I carry her, deep into her eyes; that pleading look in her big eyes, with her oh-so-sensuous smile. And I indulge her. How could I not for woman who loves me for all I am?
She makes me feel strong, not worthless like the rest of society. And we lay there. She lets me ramble on and on, she doesn't say much, only smiling, even at my stupid jokes, She's never mean, she never criticises me. Even if I pass out from such exertion during intimate things, or finish before she does, she never complains. She just smiles, reassuring me that she loves me anyway. When I wake up, she's always there, looking at me, greeting me with that broad smile. She lets me pick her up again, and I carry her downstairs, stopping on the sixth step to kiss her pale forehead.
Today is special. She'll be so happy I remembered!! The six month anniversary of when we met. But I don't let on. You gotta surprise the ladies, you know? I make breakfast: two omelettes with bacon bits, cheese, and a little bit of salsa - her favourite. Though, today she wasn't hungry, looking at me as if to say, "I have my figure to watch, you know." I protested for a bit, but she just stonewalled me. I felt bad, but I finished her breakfast for her. But as I polished off the last of the orange juice, I looked up, and there she was, smiling again.
Oh, my heart! We're going to the park today, where I met her. I know that she doesn't like going out much, but I figure she can bend given the occasion. Besides, she loves me and I love her. I'm more than happy to step a little out of the comfort zone. I walk her to the car and open the door for her, as I help her in her head turns to face me, her gaze meeting mine.
I kiss her passionately and say, "It's a good surprise. I promise. It's for you. I remembered today." She smiles back as I buckle her seatbelt and close the door. We head out an hour before noon. A quick twenty minute drive to the local forest park.
It was a cold day. Not cold enough to snow, though the ground was still blanketed white from two days ago. I parked the car and got out, walking around to open her door, unbuckle her, and help her out. She smiled as her head turned to face me. She lets me do everything for her; she knows that I love caring for her, and she makes herself feel so vulnerable just so I can be the big macho boyfriend for her. I'm sorry, can I really say "I love her" too much? I place her hand in the crook of my arm and help her up, closing the door behind her. No one else is at the park it seems. I don't mind, and neither does she.
Today can be our special day, our special moment, just us two. I walk with her down the main trail, detouring off one of the branches in the path. Massive evergreens stretch toward the sky, so densely gathered that even the sparse needles and firs nearly create a canopy to rival a rain forest. I detour again, this time, off the path, she and I dodging the massive trunks as we weave amongst the titanic arbor.
I pause and look at her. She's looking ahead, unblinkingly at one tree, to whom anyone else would carry no significance. She was smiling. I turn to her and just uttered, "You remember it, too." I walked with her up to the tree, my eyes welling, overcome with a combination of love and nostalgia. Indeed, it was this tree, as there was a little clearing in front of it, a mere few feet by a mere few feet, just as I remember from six months ago.
I helped her down and we leaned against the giant Douglas Fir together. We sat a while, and I looked to her. I leaned over, turning her head to mine and kissed her.
"You remember it too, how I found you here...' I rubbed her pale forehead, and her teeth glistened in the sun. "How I found you, lying in the clearing, in that shallow grave..." I reached around her ribs and pulled her closer to me, carefully, ensuring not to tear the decayed tendons and ligaments that held her legs together. Kissing her pale bone forehead. I continued, "How I said 'Hello,' and you would just smile...' I stroked her hair, careful not to pull it from the little remaining skin on her head. I turned her head to face mine and gazed into her orbits. A bit of brain began to leak from the socket. "Oop! You got a little something there, love," I say as I take my hankerchief from my pocket. I wiped up the bit of ooze from the otherwise gleaming white cheek. I kissed her forehead and looked down at her. And in that moment, she was smiling.
And from then on, I knew that we would be together...forever.
Category:Mental Illness