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You don't know what you have till you've lost it.
***
Life is a game.
Everything was perfect when I was young. The most loving and supportive parents, a great school with lots of friends, freedom and liberty to do what I want. I had the greatest support group and a strong will to excel in life. I was well respected at school where unity was valued above all else. I had the rays of a bright future in my eyes.
Life is a game.
Dad lost his job, got involved with alcohol. Fought with Mum. Debts poured in through the mailbox. Verbal insults turned into physical violence. We fled, away from our home and friends and school and family, away to somewhere no one will be able to find us. We travelled by night, hid in the day, all for the fear hanging over us like a giant hissing cobra, dripping venomous hate and waiting for the perfect moment to strike when we dropped our guards.
Life is a game.
New neighbourhood, new school, new place. New faces - scared, suspicious, angry, hopeful. Apprehension and skepticism of the little child who ran away from home. Mum struggled to find a job. The debts were still coming in, chasing after us for thousands of miles.
Life is a game.
Misunderstanding, isolation, punishment. The strange people with the strange faces didn't understand. They would poke and prod, asking questions, never listening to the answers. Withdrawal, repression, obsoletion. I hid from everyone, all the fingers and voices I wouldn't answer. For the first time in my life, I was utterly alone.
Life is a game.
Discovery, renewal. I discovered the internet. I discovered the games. I discovered that we all have the ability to retreat into a different universe when things became too much. It was escapism, a cursed yet blessed word, the act of leaving reality in favour of a better one. I discovered many games, but the one that stuck out the most was a simplistic yet fascinating sandbox called Minecraft. In this universe, you could build your reality however you wanted.
Life is a game.
I embraced escapism. The fact that I could leave the real world whenever I wanted. You have so many lives in the game. The Game Over screen always offered a Continue, to pick yourself up after a mistake, to continue on in paradise like nothing ever happened. Time to time I would catch myself wishing real life was like this - that we could have an option to start over. Maybe Dad never lost his job. Maybe we never had to leave. Maybe I'd never have to turn to games in the first place as my last source of respite from my harsher version of reality.
Life is a game.
it's overwhelming, isn't it? The idea that you can just start over. I began to dream - of brighter places and brighter futures. To return to my old life where I didn't have a care in the world. The idea was so tempting, and self confidence grew, turned into recklessness. I wanted my old life back, I didn't want this garbage my Mum called reality.
Life is a game.
I ran away from home, from the stranger place in searches of my so called idea of perfection. The search for redemption. I hid from the people who looked for me, who said they wanted to help. I disregarded them all in pursue of my idea, the Continue that laid at the end of the horizon. I travelled, metre by metre, block by block like when I lead my little ingame figure scurrying through biomes on some epic never foretold adventure. My trek took me out of the city into the rural, unexplored wastelands. It was a fruitless mission, but I realised it too late.
Life is a game.
The forest is not a joke. Maybe it's not nearly full of criminals and people on the run as some people describe it, but it still holds its own dangers. I'd severely misjudged the temperature. My food and water ran out alarmingly fast. When I wanted to turn around, it was too late. I was lost energy day by day as the sun sapped what little strength I had left.
I'd wasted the one chance I had at life, my one chance to prove myself. Instead of working to improve the reality I had now, I left in the search of the impossible idea of perfection. I let the game world overtake my vision of reality. I'd abandoned everything, and now I was going to play the price.
Life is a game.
But there is no Continue.
Category:Eternulli
Category:Creepypasta
Category:Dramapasta
Category:Real Life
Category:Moderate Length Pastas