Chanukwanzaa 5: Title Pending

==PHEE PHI PHO PHUM==
*All-edit access to our non-paying customers.
*Everything's allowed except for the things that aren't.
*Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
*See you all in the OKTE.
==Chapter 1 The Beginning==
Once Upon A Time An Evil Person Known As Soddeps Created An Extremely Powerful Weapon Known As The Glitchspace Merger Which Would Merge The Glitchspace With Normal Space But Before He Could Activate It A Group Of Rangers Known As The Ranger Team Destroyed The Glitchspace Merger And Killed Soddeps However Another Evil Person Known As Éh éh éin Is Trying To Build A New Glitchspace Merger To Try To Merge The Glitchspace With Regular Space Again
===Chapter 1.1 The Discovery===
While Thegoldenguest778 Was Working On Exploring The Glitchspace He Found An Anomaly
TheGoldenGuest778: Looks like an abandoned village 
TheGoldenGuest778 And His Team Of Explorers Examine The Abandoned Village
TheGoldenGuest778: This village seems suspiciously new
Suddenly TheGoldenGuest778 Discovers A Journal
TheGoldenGuest778: By examining this journal it appears to be left in a hurry
TheGoldenGuest778 Begins To Read The Journal Only To Notice Something Wrong
TheGOldenGuest778: The Poachers wrote this book But what chased them away
TheGoldenGuest778: Ah hah The Journal says that Éh éh éin tried to kill them all and so they left through a hidden portal
TheGoldenGuest778 Then Searches For The Hidden Portal Only To Discover That It Just Got Destroyed By Éh éh éin
TheGoldenGuest778: So Éh éh éin destroyed the Poachers Portal Guess they won't be able to come back for a while
Suddenly Éh éh éin Appears 
Éh éh éin: I am going to kill all of you now
TheGoldenGuest778: Well good thing I have a big group of Rangers
Éh éh éin: Those Rangers aren't even as strong as The Ranger Team Who were equipped with Equipment that could only be obtained from Deities
TheGoldenGuest778: Whats a Deity
Éh éh éin: Nevermind time to die
Éh éh éin Effortlessly Slays TheGoldenGuest778's Group Of Rangers
TheGoldenGuest778: Everybody run!
TheGoldenGuest778 Along With The Rest Of The Explorer Escape Through The Glitchspace Portal
TheGoldenGuest778: That was close I think we should find some way to defeat him or get Deity enhanced equipment
Explorer: I agree We should wait for better equipment and rangers before we go to The Glitchspace again
TheGoldenGuest778: That will take a while Because that equipment we need is Very Expensive and costs way more than our current budget
Explorer: How long 
TheGoldenguest778: A few days perhaps
Because This Story Takes Place In A Day And Not A Week We'll Be Going To An Alternate Timeline Where Éh éh éin And Soddeps Never Existed
===Chapter 1 Timeline B TheGoldenGuest778 Reviews SFUNB===
At His House TheGoldenGuest778 Receives A Package From The P-Mail
TheGoldenGuest778: Lets open it
TheGoldenGuest778 Opens The Package To Find A Letter, Strategy Guide, And The SFUNB Game
TheGoldenGuest778 Reads The Letter
TheGoldenGuest778: It's from TheDarkGuest778
Letter: Hi it's me TheDarkGuest778 I heard about this New Game called SFUNB They say that it's the only way to survive the apocalypse
Letter: I would like you to Review it because my computer doesn't read CDs
Letter: By the way this strategy guide will help you Survive The Apocalypse
Letter: Good Luck signed TheDarkGuest778
TheGoldenGuest778: Let's play and Review SFUNB shall we
TheGoldenGuest778 Installs The Server And Client Copy Of SFUNB And Links Them Together
TheGoldenGuest778: Time to read the strategy guide
Strategy Guide: First make room and deploy The Totem Lathe
Strategy Guide: Then make room and deploy The Cruxtruder
Strategy Guide: Then make room and deploy the Alchemiter
TheGoldenGuest778: Done all of these Now the next part
Strategy Guide: Open The Cruxtruder
TheGoldenGuest778 Opens The Cruxtruder By Jumping On It
Strategy Guide: Now Prototype your Kernelsprite at least once
TheGoldenGuest778: I don't see a Kernelsprite I only see one in the Strategy Guide Picture
TheGoldenGuest778: Anyway I'll try to do the final part without the KernelSprite
Strategy Guide: Now put The Pre-Punched Card along with a Cruxite Dowel from the Cruxtruder into the Totem Lathe
TheGoldenGuest778: I don't see a Pre-Punched Card
TheGoldenGuest778: Seems like this game is buggy
Suddenly Someone Knocks On TheGoldenGuest778's House's Front Door
TheGoldenGuest778: Who is it?
???: Come with me if you want to live We don't have much time check The Cruxtruder
TheGoldenGuest778 Checks The Cruxtruder To See A Timer On It
TheGoldenGuest778: I remember this timer was also on the strategy guide But I didn't pay much attention to it
???: There's only a few minutes left
TheGoldenGuest778: How are we going to escape?
???: Via my Spaceship
TheGoldenGuest778: Can I bring Moonstone along with me?
???: Yes you can Now hurry and get Moonstone
TheGoldenGuest778 Then Proceeds To Get Moonstone
TheGoldenGuest778: I have Moonstone Let's go
???: Ok
TheGoldenGuest778, Moonstone, And The Mysterious Person Escape To Outer Space Just Before A Meteor Hits TheGoldenGuest778's House
TheGoldenGuest778: Where did that meteor come from?
???: SFUNB
TheGoldenGuest778: What do you mean?
???: SFUNB is a game where only a select few can ascend to The Medium In fact some of those few have already ascended
TheGoldenGuest778: So what do you do after ascending to The Medium
???: You fight Monsters, Denizens, The Black King, Collect frogs Make a Universe that's a Frog
TheGoldenGuest778: Wow
???: It's very complex But it's time to reveal Who I really am
???: I am Kuiper Bandolier The Light Matter named after The Kuiper Belt
Kuiper Bandolier: I am an Expert at using the Sling mine is enchanted with explosive powers to make it's stones Explode
TheGoldenGuest778: Don't you mean the Slingshot
Kuiper Bandolier: No I mean an actual Sling just like the one David used against Goliath
Kuiper Bandolier: Also I need your help
TheGoldenGuest778: With what?
Kuiper Bandolier: A Group of Beings known as The Dark Energy
TheGoldenGuest778: Don't you mean Dark Matter
Kuiper Bandolier: No I mean Dark Energy
TheGoldenGuest778: So what do we do with them
Kuiper Bandolier: We have to stop them before they use a Weapon known as The Galaxy Ripper
TheGoldenGuest778: What's The Galaxy Ripper
Kuiper Bandolier: It's a weapon capable of ripping The Galaxy apart
TheGoldenGuest778: Is it in one piece or is it in parts
Kuiper Bandolier: It's in one piece But it requires an enormous amount of power to fire
TheGoldenGuest778: How much
Kuiper Bandolier: Lots
TheGOldenGuest778: What are they going to use to power it
Kuiper Bandolier: A Black Hole Generator
TheGoldenGuest778: How do we destroy The Galaxy Ripper or it's Black Hole Generator
Kuiper Bandolier: The plan is simple First we Infiltrate the Location of The Galaxy Ripper then Break the containment field of the Black Hole Generator and then The Galaxy Ripper along with the rest of the Black Hole Generator will be sucked into the Black Hole
Kuiper Bandolier: But there's one problem
TheGoldenGuest778: What is it
Kuiper Bandolier: We'll need Enormous Firepower to destroy the containment field of The Black Hole Generator for the Galaxy Ripper
TheGoldenGuest778: How much firepower do we need 
Kuiper Bandolier: Enough to destroy a signiificant portion of the galaxy
TheGoldenGuest778: Where are we going to get that much Firepower?
Kuiper Bandolier: I don't know yet
To Be Continued!
Meanwhile In A Third Timeline
===Chapter 1 Timeline C Pet Costume Party===
Pet Owner: Today is Meurteween I wonder what the News and Events for today are
TV: We are pleased to report that for Meurteween We'll have a Pet Custom Party and Contest
TV: There will be free candy for Pets and Pet Owners who participate
TV: The Top 3 Costumes will receives prizes and candy
TV: The Location will be in the Town Square
Pet Owner: Ok I'll enter this Costume Party
Pet Owner: What Costumes should My Pets and Me wear?
Pet 1: I'm a UFO Maybe a Ladybug Costume will work
Pet 2: I'm a Tiger How about a Cat Costume
Pet Owner: Those sound like good ideas to me
The Pet Owner Goes To The Store To Buy The Costumes And Puts Theme On The Pets
Pet Owner: Do these costumes fit?
Pet 1: Perfect
Pet 2: Right on
Pet Owner: Ok Let's go
The Pet Owner And His 2 Pets Go To The Costume Party
Pet Owner: Wow look at all these costumes
Pet 1: There's like a few hundred pets or so
Pet 2: I can't count how many pets there are
Suddenly A Loud Announcement Happens
???: Give us all your pets
Costume Party Contest Runner: Never! We're going to host this party and give out candy and prizes
???: Then you give us no choice
???: Poachers Grab all the pets
The Poachers and the Costume Party Contest Participants Begin To Fight Each Other
Pet Owner 2: Shoot fire at them
Pet Owner 3: I'll try and get the Cops to stop the poachers
The Fight Begins To Escalate Even Further When The Cops Start Helping To Fight The Poachers
Cop 1: Stop Poachers
Cop 2: You'll face severe penalties for trying to kidnap all these pets
Poacher Leader: Time to pull out our secret weapon
The Poacher Leader Activates A Nuclear Weapon
Poacher Leader: You are no match against this weapon
Cop 1: Wait a second it's a Nuclear Bomb
Cop 2: We're doomed
Pet 1: Wait that's it
Pet 2: What's it
Pet 1: They said at the Pet Academy not too long ago that You can disarm a nuclear bomb just by shooting it
Pet 2: Wow I didn't know that
Pet Owner: Me too
Suddenly All Of The Pets Who Knew That Fact Tell Everyone About It
Cop 1: I feel much better now that we can disarm the nuclear bomb just by shooting it
Poacher Leader: Nuclear Missile Fire!
Everyone Begins To Shoot At The Nuclear Missile As It Flies In The Air
The Nuclear Missile Hits The Ground Only To Do Nothing
Poacher Leader: HOW!
Cop 1: Because you can shoot a nuclear bomb to disarm it that's why
Cop 1: Arrest them!
Poacher Leader: 'NOOOOOOO!
And So The Cops Arrested All The Poachers And The Party Continues As Normal
Pet Owner: They've announced the top 3 winners
Pet Owner: Turns out none of my 2 pets won
Pet 1: That's OK we had fun candies and some action to boot
Pet 2: I agree
So The Pet Owner And His 2 Pets Left For Home After The Party
To Be Continued!
==Chapter 2: Spaghetti Dinner==
Let me tell you about the Ohmstone.
It is a stone that is basically the Ohm equivalent of the IPK in an Ancient Metric System
The Ohmstone is a stone which the electrical resistance of is defined as one Ohm
It is rumoured to exist in some ancient ruins on Ludus
We have just found the ancient ruins But before we explore
King Harkanian: Let's have spaghetti for dinner!
One Spaghetti Dinner Later
King Harkanian: We're done Let's explore the ruins to find the Ohmstone
At The Ruins
King Harkanian: There's the location of the Ohmstone
Link: Oh boy let's pick it up
King Harkanian: Look there's a Group of Monsters guarding it
King Harkanian: Looks like we'll have to fight our way through it
Battle Between Group Of Eight Monsters And Explorer Team Started
Gunner: I hope you're rich King Harkanian because I need money to fire my weapon
King Harkanian: Take some money then
King Harkanian Gives Some Money To The Gunner
Gunner: Ok I'm ready
The Gunner Fires Grenades Made Out Of Money (Literally) At The Monsters
The Monsters Are Defeated
King Harkanian: Ok time to retrieve the Ohmstone
King Harkanian Gets The Ohmstone
King Harkanian: Let's take it to the Archaeologists
The King, Link And The Explorers Take The Ohmstone To The Archaeologists
Archaeologist 1: Thank you for giving us the Ohmstone
Archaeologist 2: We can now understand how to use that Ancient Metric System better
Archaeologist 3: We're also starting to understand some of that Ancient Technology better as well
Archaeologist 4: Turns out that the reason why they based the Ohm on something physical like the Ohmstone itself was because they could easily copy it and still get identical results
King Harkanian: So what's the difference?
Archaeologist 1: The original Ohmstone is a key to control and manipulate electricity You can use it to power up something that requires lots of power
King Harkanian: What about the Copied Ohmstones
Archaeologist 1: They also receive electricity from the Original Ohmstone but they're not as powerful as it
King Harkanian: Do you know how to use the Ohmstones
Archaeologist 1: We don't know how to use the Ohmstone or it's Copies as of yet They appear to require some sort of magical signature to activate
King Harkanian: Do the ancient ruins contain the key to using the Ohmstone and it's Copies
Archaeologist 1: We're pretty sure that the ancient ruins don't contain the key to using the Ohmstone and it's Copies
King Harkanian: How is it possible for the Ohmstone and it's Copies to have a resistance of one Ohm if they control electricity
Archaeologist 1: That's the hard part The Ohmstone and it's Copies are split into the Control part Which controls electricity and the Resistance part Which is the part used to measure the resistance of the Ohm The Resistance part is defined as having a resistance of one Ohm in the case of the Original Ohmstone with the other Slightly differing as a result
King Harkanian: So the Original Ohmstone is the IPK equivalent of the Ohm in that Ancient Metric System
Archaeologist 1: Yes the Ohmstone is basically the IPK but for Ohms In that Ancient Metric System
King Harkanian: Anything else
Archaeologist 1: Some Copies only have a Resistance part meaning that they don't use electricity at all 
Archaeologist 2: It's also possible to disable the Control parts of the Ohmstone and it's Copies and re-enable them as well
King Harkanian: Is the Ohmstone and it's Copies disabled?
Archaeologist 1: They appear to be enabled but we don't know how to control or even disable them yet
King Harkanian: What about the other metric system units
Archaeologist 1: We don't know much about these as of yet
Archaeologist 2: I don't think we have any more information about the ancient metric system yet
King Harkanian: Yes let's have some more spaghetti dinner at home
Link: Great I love Spaghetti Dinner
And So The King Harkanian And Link Went Back To Home To Have Some Spaghetti Dinner
To Be Continued
==Vol .3: The Subliminal Verses==
Busta Rhymes is canon again. He will not appear in this chapter, but he's here. Just be mindful of him. But where does this bring us, my pickle-flavored gel-y fellow? Back thousands of knockyears ago when the universe was gay. Bootylicious. I'm an ant now. Just pay attention.
==Chapter 3: Voyage of the Minor Characters That Don't Even Have Pages Yet==
Boxill sneezes.
Sandford: Bless you.
Mori: So how about that airline food?
A crowd of pets erupts in uproarious laughter.
Chutney arrives and begins to describe the history of airline food, which is quite fascinating considering airlines aren't a thing yet.
Boxill: t
boom
fin
Category:Stories
Category:Phi Timeline