Hotdog Havoc

==Characters==
Nat PetersonShubieSusieBaby BillySadie RechidBaby RechidNancy Suzy FishFrankMartha SmithJennifer-MillieMabelNazz-MimiNazz's babySallySally's babyEvelynBilly (lime fish)PilarPerch PerkinsOctopus WomanManatee WomanWhale WomanOther Hotdog Eating ContestantsHotdog Eating Contest JudgeWomanSonIce Cream ManCrowdFrench Narrator
==Transcript==
(Scene cuts to Nat mowing his yard) Sadie walks up to Nat. Nat turns off his mower.
Sadie: "Hi Nat!"
Nat: "Hi Sadie!"
Sadie: "My don't you look handsome! I could watch you mow your lawn shirtless all day. Anyway, I'm having a barbecue at my house tomorrow. I would love it if you could be there! Don't worry about Shubie and the kids. You don't really need to bring them…" Shubie, Susie and Baby Billy walk over to Nat and Sadie.
Shubie: "Hi Sadie! I was just on a walk with the kids. Susie, take your brother inside." Shubie hands Baby Billy to Susie.
Susie: "Ok Mom." Susie walks into the house. Shubie laughs.
Shubie: "It can be quite a handful taking care of the two kids sometimes! I'm sure you know all about that though, Sadie, since you have a kid too."
Sadie: "Oh so you think that you're better than me because you have two kids and I only have one?! Well for your information, I'm pregnant! Pretty soon we'll have the same amount of kids."
Nat: "You're pregnant?!"
Sadie: "Yes. Does that make you jealous, Nat?"
Nat: "No, you just don't look like you're pregnant."
Sadie: "Well… I'm not actually pregnant yet. Me and Fred have just been thinking about having another baby. That's enough about that. See you at the barbecue tomorrow, Nat!" Sadie walks away.
(Scene cuts to the barbecue) An ambulance drives away from Sadie's house. Sadie walks over to Nat who is sitting down at a table.
Sadie: "Hi Nat!"
Nat: "Hi Sadie. Sorry that Fred slipped near the pool and broke his leg."
Sadie: "Oh, it's okay. I'm sure he'll be fine. I'm just happy to talk to you." The ice cream truck drives towards Sadie's house. Susie hears the music playing from the ice cream truck and runs over to Nat.
Susie: "Can I get some ice cream, Dad?"
Nat: "Sure!" Nat gets up and walks with Susie towards the ice cream truck. Sadie frowns.
Sadie: "Shubie's stupid kids are always getting in my way."
(Scene cuts to Sadie ordering from the ice cream truck)
Sadie: "One lemon popsicle please." The ice cream man hands her a lemon popsicle. Sadie walks over to Nat.
Nat: "What did you get, Sadie?"
Sadie: "I got a lemon popsicle. Lemon popsicles are my favorite. Watch this." Sadie tries to fit the entire popsicle in her mouth. Sadie chokes on the popsicle and takes it out of her mouth. Shubie walks over to Nat and Sadie.
Shubie: "Are you trying to eat a popsicle in one bite, Sadie? I can do that!" Shubie swallows her popsicle. Shubie burps and spits out the wooden stick from the popsicle. Shubie covers her mouth and laughs nervously.
Shubie: "Excuse me." Nancy and Frank walk over to them.
Nancy: "Wow! That was impressive, Shubie! You ate a whole popsicle in one bite! I've never seen someone do that before!"
Frank: "Can you do that with other foods too?" Shubie shrugs.
Shubie: "I don't know. I've never tried to before."
Nancy: "Frank, give Shubie your hotdog. Let's see if she can eat that in one bite too." Frank hands Shubie his hotdog. Shubie eats the hotdog in one bite.
Frank: "That's unbelievable! I've never seen someone eat a hotdog that fast before. You should really think about competing in a hotdog eating contest!"
Nancy: "Yeah I heard that Bikini Bottom's hosting one in a few weeks. You should enter, Shubie!"
Shubie: "You really think so?" Sadie rolls her eyes.
Sadie: "Oh great. It seems like Shubie's discovered another special talent. I can't wait to hear all about how she wins this hotdog eating contest. Wait a minute! If Shubie spends the next few weeks training for a hotdog eating contest, she's going to gain a ton of weight! Then Nat will think she's ugly and will leave her for a more attractive fish like me!" Sadie smirks and walks up to Shubie.
Sadie: "Hotdog competitions are no joke, Shubie. You will have to train very hard in order to do well. If you really want to win, you're going need a coach, and no fish would be a better coach for you than me! I'm, um, a huge fan of hotdog competitions."
Nat: "You're a big fan of competitive eating, Sadie?"
Sadie: "Oh, yeah. I watch it all the time! I know how all of the best eaters train."
Shubie: "Well I don't know anything about competitive eating so I'd love for you to be my coach, Sadie!"
Sadie: "Excellent." Sadie smirks.
(Scene cuts to Shubie and Sadie training in Shubie's backyard the next day)
Sadie: "If you want to win this competition, your goal will be to eat at least 100 hotdogs per day."
Shubie: "100 hotdogs per day?! Doesn't that seem a bit excessive?"
Sadie: "Who's the expert on competitive eating here?"
Shubie: "You are."
Sadie: "That's right so take my advice. Your body needs to eat that many so it can get used to eating large amounts of hotdogs in a very short time."
Shubie: "I guess that makes sense. I'm sorry for questioning you, Sadie." Sadie puts a tray full of hotdogs in front of Shubie.
Sadie: "You may begin." Shubie starts consuming hotdogs.
(Scene cuts to Shubie swallowing the last hotdog)
Shubie: "How was that, Sadie?" Sadie looks at her watch.
Sadie: "It was a little slow. You're going to need to pick up the pace if you want to win that contest."
Shubie: "How long did it take for me to eat 100?"
Sadie: "I don't know. I wasn't timing you but I could tell that it was slow. Don't worry, we'll work on your pace later. Just make sure to eat a big dinner tonight even if you feel full. Having a large dinner right after eating 100 hotdogs will expand your stomach and make it even easier to consume a large amount in the contest."
Shubie: "Okay, I will! Thanks so much for training me today, Sadie! See you tomorrow!" Shubie walks into her house. Sadie walks away and laughs evilly.
Sadie: "Soon Shubie will be fatter and uglier than ever! Nat will be all mine before you know it!"
(Scene cuts to a montage of Shubie training for the hotdog eating contest)
(Scene cuts to Nat and Shubie walking down the street while pushing Baby Billy in a baby carriage)
Nat: "How are you feeling about the hotdog eating contest tomorrow, Shubie?"
Shubie: "I'm feeling pretty confident, Nat! I've been training really hard for it! Sadie's been an excellent coach."
Nat: "That's great to hear, Shubie!" Nazz-Mimi walks past Nat and Shubie pushing her baby in a baby carriage.
Nazz: "Hi Nat! Hi Shubie! Oh, congratulations! I didn't know that you two were expecting!"
Shubie: "What? I'm not pregnant."
Nazz: "Oh. I'm terribly sorry." Nazz walks away.
(Scene cuts to the hotdog eating contest)
Perch Perkins: "Ladies and gentlefish! I'm Perch Perkins and it is my pleasure to host this year's hotdog eating contest! First up we will have the women's hotdog eating contest! Good luck ladies!" Nat kisses Shubie.
Nat: "Good luck, Shubie."
Shubie: "Thanks Nat. I know I can always count on you for support."
Sadie: "Just remember to eat as many hotdogs as possible, Shubie!" Shubie walks towards the stage. Shubie sees Jennifer-Millie standing by the stage.
Shubie: "Hi Jennifer! Are you competing in the contest too?"
Jennifer: "Oh, no. I'm here with the paramedics team in case someone gets a heart attack during the competition."
Shubie: "Oh sorry! I just thought that you were entering because, well, you know…"
Jennifer: "You thought that I was entering the competition because I'm overweight?!"
Shubie: "No! That's not it! It's because… Well, I'd better get on stage!" Shubie runs onto the stage and sits down in any empty chair at the table. Martha sits down next to her.
Martha: "Hi Shubie! Good luck in the contest!"
Shubie: "Thanks Martha! May the best woman win!" 
Perch Perkins: "Last call for any contestants in the women's hotdog eating contest!" Mabel walks onto the stage and sits in the empty chair next to Shubie.
Shubie: "Mabel, you're participating in the hotdog eating contest?"
Mabel: "I know you're surprised, Shubie. I've been told that I'm too skinny so I figured I might as well enter this contest to gain some weight."
Perch Perkins: "Okay ladies! It's time for the contest to begin! On your mark! Get set! Go!" The women begin eating. 
Sadie: "Ugh, look at Shubie stuffing her face. Isn't it disgusting, Nat? She looks hideous!"
Nat: "Come on, Shubie! You're doing great!"
Perch Perkins: "Look at those women eat! Shubie Peterson has jumped out to an early lead and doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon!" Shubie continues eating hotdogs.
Nat: "Come on, Shubie! You can do it!" Shubie continues eating. Mabel gets sick and stops eating. Some of the other women get sick as well.
Perch Perkins: "Other women are starting to drop out but Shubie is still going strong. She's really starting to pull away! This is unbelievable!" 
Martha: "I can't eat another bite!" Martha passes out under the table. Shubie keeps eating. The buzzer sounds.
Perch Perkins: "Time's up! Shubie Peterson wins Bikini Bottom's women's hotdog eating contest with a total score of 62 hotdogs! Congratulations Shubie! By winning this competition, you have officially qualified for the Pacific Ocean hotdog eating championship where you will compete against the best female hotdog eaters in the entire ocean! What do you have to say?" Perch Perkins puts the microphone in front of Shubie.
Shubie: "I would like to thank my husband, Nat, and my two kids for always believing in me! I would like to thank my coach, Sadie Rechid, for helping me train for this hotdog eating contest! And I would like to thank all of my other friends and family!"
Perch Perkins: "Well said Shubie! We'll see you in two weeks during the Pacific Ocean hotdog eating championship! Let's give one more round of applause for Shubie!" The crowd cheers. Shubie gets off the stage and hugs Nat. Nat and Shubie kiss.
Nat: "You did it, Shubie! I'm so proud of you!"
Shubie: "Thanks Nat!"
Sadie: "Well Nat clearly still finds Shubie attractive even though she's gained a lot of weight. My plan may have failed so far but let's see if he still finds her attractive in two weeks when she's doubled in size!" Sadie cackles menacingly. 
(Scene cuts to Shubie training in her backyard with Sadie)
Sadie: "Congratulations on winning the contest yesterday, Shubie, but you still have a lot of work to do if you want to win the Pacific Ocean Championships. You won't be going up against amateurs anymore. The women who have qualified for the championships are the best of the best. In order to win, you will have to eat close to 200 hotdogs a day."
Shubie: "200 hotdogs per day?! Is that even possible?"
Sadie: "It's very possible. All of the best hotdog eaters eat 200 hotdogs per day. Some even eat 300. Now let's get started!" Sadie puts a gigantic tray filled with hotdogs in front of Shubie. Shubie starts eating.
French Narrator: "Two weeks later."
(Scene cuts to Evelyn and Billy in their front yard) Nat walks outside his house.
Nat: "Hi Evelyn! Hi Billy!"
Evelyn: "Hi Nat! Where are you off to?" 
Nat: "Me and Shubie are off to the Pacific Ocean hotdog eating championship. Shubie has been training very hard for it. Don't worry, Shubie. You can squeeze through the door. You'll be able to fit." Sally walks down the street pushing her baby in a baby carriage.
Sally: "Hi Nat!" An incredibly obese Shubie walks outside. Sally screams and runs away. Evelyn covers Billy's eyes. Nat and Shubie walk over to Nat's boat. Pilar walks down the street towards them.
Pilar: "Nat! Look out! There's a monster standing behind you!" Pilar runs away. Nat and Shubie get in their boat. Shubie tries to put on her seatbelt but it doesn't fit.
Shubie: "Just go." Nat backs out of the driveway and drives away.
Nat: "Are you feeling okay, Shubie? You don't seem as excited for this hotdog eating contest."
Shubie: "I'm fine, Nat."
(Scene cuts to Nat and Shubie at the Pacific Ocean hotdog eating championships) Sadie walks up to them.
Sadie: "Hi Nat! Hi Shubie. You're looking awfully heavy which is perfect for the hotdog eating contest! I have full faith in you today." A woman and her son approach them.
Son: "Mommy! Mommy! What is that thing?"
Mother: "That's just a morbidly obese woman who's competing in a hotdog eating contest. How could anyone let themselves go like that? It's repulsive." The woman and her son walk away. Shubie frowns.
(Scene cuts to the hotdog eating contest)
Perch Perkins: "Ladies and gentlefish! Welcome to the Pacific Ocean hotdog eating championships! Here the greatest hotdog eaters in the ocean will compete to see who is the king and queen of hotdog eating! Up first it's the women's championship! Let's give a round of applause to the women competing today!" The crowd cheers as the women walk onto the stage.
Sadie: "Wow, look at the way Shubie waddles onto the stage. I've never seen a woman with more rolls of fat than she does. I don't know how you can fit in a bed every night with her, Nat. If she rolled over she could suffocate you." Shubie sits in between a whale and an octopus.
Perch Perkins: "Hey, are we missing someone? Why is there an empty seat in front of that tray?" 
Judge: "One of contestants was taken to the hospital. She discovered that she was nine months pregnant last night. She had no idea since, you know, she was already so heavy that the baby bump wasn't exactly noticeable." The judge walks away.
Shubie: "Good luck today ladies! I know you've all been training super hard eating around 200 hotdogs per day!"
Octopus woman: "200 hotdogs per day?! I have never eaten that many hotdogs in one day in my life."
Manatee woman: "Did you just say 200 hotdogs per day? That's grossly unhealthy!"
Whale woman: "Even I don't eat 200 hotdogs per day, and I'm a whale."
Perch Perkins: "Ok ladies! Let's get started! On your mark! Get set! Go!" The women begin eating. Shubie looks over and sees the Octopus woman grab six hotdogs. The Octopus woman shoves the hotdogs in her mouth. Shubie looks over at the Whale woman. The Whale woman picks up her tray and pours hotdogs into her mouth. Shubie gulps.
Nat: "You can do it, Shubie!" Shubie begins eating.
Sadie: "Ugh, look at her eat! She is such a slob! I can't even look at her! I don't know how you stay married to her, Nat. If I were you I'd go after a much skinner fish." Shubie continues eating. 
Perch Perkins: "After a slow start, Shubie Peterson has climbed into third place! This contest is still anyone's race." Shubie continues to scarf down hotdogs. 
Sadie: "She just keeps going and going! Look at all of the food on her face! She looks like a manatee! In fact, that manatee woman who's competing looks nearly identical to Shubie. I don't know how you've stayed married to her, Nat. No one would blame you if you got a divorce." Shubie continues to eat hotdogs.
Perch Perkins: "Shubie Peterson has moved into first place with 77 hotdogs! It's going to be quite a race to the finish!" Shubie starts to slow down a little. The other women keep eating. Sadie laughs.
Sadie: "Wow, she gained all that weight training for this and she still isn't going to win."
Perch Perkins: "Shubie has now dropped into second place with 84 hotdogs! It looks like she might be in trouble now!" Shubie stops eating and starts to cry. Nat jumps onto the stage.
Nat: "Shubie! Are you okay?"
Shubie: "No Nat! Look at me! I'm hideous! I've nearly tripled in weight while training for this hotdog eating contest and I'm not even going to win! I can't show my face in public anymore because everyone thinks that I'm a monster! You probably don't even love me anymore!" Nat grabs Shubie's hand.
Nat: "Shubie, I will always love you. Who cares if you don't win this contest? It's remarkable that you even made it to the championships after only training for about a month. Even if you were to win this competition, it wouldn't be anything more than a footnote on what you've accomplished in your life so far."
Shubie: "Really?"
Nat: "Yes! You're a two-time state champion in softball and basketball, a collegiate softball player, a college graduate, a strong independent woman, an annual employee of the month winner, and an outstanding mother to our two beautiful children. You're the glue that keeps this family together, Shubie. You've never looked prettier to me than you do right now."
Shubie: "Oh Nat…" Shubie and Nat kiss.
Crowd: "Awwww!" Perch Perkins starts to tear up.
Perch Perkins: "And that folks is why some things in life are more important that sports." Sadie gets angry.
Sadie: "You've never looked prettier to me?! I turned Shubie into the ugliest possible version of herself and she's never looked prettier to Nat?! Is he attracted to chunky girls? Is that why he's always picked her over me? Fine! I'll show you! I can look just as fat as she does!" Sadie runs onto the stage and over to the tray full of hotdogs for the contestant who didn't appear. Sadie begins scarfing down hotdogs. Nat and Shubie stop kissing and look over at Sadie.
Shubie: "Wow. Look at her go." The buzzer sounds. 
Perch Perkins: "I don't believe it! This woman just ate 97 hotdogs in less than thirty seconds! I now present you the winner of the Pacific Ocean hotdog eating contest! She is this year's queen of hotdog eating!" The crowd cheers.
(Scene cuts to Nat and a less fat Shubie in their house)
Nat: "How are you feeling today, Shubie?"
Shubie: "Well I'm still not quite at the weight I was before I started training for those hotdog eating contests, but I'm making good progress! I wonder how Sadie's doing."
(Scene cuts to a very fat Sadie running on a treadmill in her house)
Sadie: "Well at least now everyone will believe me when I tell them I'm pregnant."
(Scene ends)
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