The Sea Urchin/transcript

Previous Episode: Cerealistic
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: May 12, 2001
Episode Copyrighted: 2000
This episode is rated TV-PG.
The episode begins at Master Lox’s Lair.
Lord Master Lox: *evilly grins and finishes writing up plans for my next scheme*
Pearl Master Lox: *walks in after having had to taken out the garbage that Master Lox was supposed to do instead* James!
Lord Master Lox: What Pearl?! I’m busy!
Pearl Master Lox: Next time! You are on garbage duty! Also dishes! And floor polishing! 
Lord Master Lox: Yea yea whatever!
Pearl Master Lox: What are you even doing anyways?
Lord Master Lox: I am working up my latest evil scheme to my invention!
Pearl Master Lox: I had to ask.
Lord Master Lox: I’m glad you asked! My next plan is to get the information out of SpongeBob and Lincoln out of say, during an educational class, then the sea urchin comes to get Lincoln!
Pearl Master Lox: Come again?
Lord Master Lox: SpongeBob attends this boating school every Wednesday to learn how to drive and he always epically fails as a result! Tomorrow is Wednesday, right?!
Pearl Master Lox: Yeah so?
Lord Master Lox: So! I will head to this boating school to be SpongeBob's teacher for a day! I will do him a favor in teaching lessons and after he gets educated upon them, I will ask for a favor in return! And that is how to build my inator!
Pearl Master Lox: Pfft, like Lincoln would get scared to death.
Lord Master Lox: The kid is stupid! It doesn’t take Rocket Science to figure it out! And I have been a certified Rocket Scientist since 1978 mind you!
Pearl Master Lox: Whatever, but how do you even be the teacher tomorrow? How will you handle the real one?
Lord Master Lox: You just leave that to me darling! Hehehehe!
Pearl Master Lox: Aw man.
The scene cuts to Mrs. Puff’s house, Mrs. Puff sits at her kitchen table preparing to eat a cheese souffle.
Mrs. Puff: Oh Mrs. Puff! You really went all out today! Whoo! *prepares to eat my delicacy while Master Lox observes from my open window.
He has a rock in his palm.
Lord Master Lox: Hehehehe!
When Mrs. Puff is at her lowest guard, Master Lox chucks the rock through the open space and it hits a lamp smashing it to smithereens.
Mrs. Puff: What in the seabottom?! *goes over to check what happened*
Lord Master Lox: *sneaks in real fast and dumps the sea urchin over Mrs. Puff’s meal*
He then quickly scurries back out the window and Mrs. Puff returns to her meal.
Mrs. Puff: I have no idea how that light managed to break, but I cannot let this delicacy go to waste! I’ll bring the lamp to nightlight tomorrow. *swallows the souffle in one bite*
After finishing her meal, she proceeds to her couch to go read the newspaper when suddenly…
Mrs. Puff: *holds my stomach* Oh boy ugh! What was in that souffle?! *rushes upstairs to my bathroom and locks my door.
After some silence, a loud thunderous fart is heard and green gas oozes out.
Mrs. Puff: Oh dear Neptune! What a mess!
Lord Master Lox: *runs through the landscape* Phase 1 complete! On to Phase 2! *rushes off and the product*
Screen cuts to Master Lox holding close up used is called “LAXATIVES! Enough to keep you on the john for weeks on end! With Robux” in Comic Sans MS*
The next day arrives.
Lord Master Lox: *walks up to the Boating School in formal attire*
After straightening his eyebrows with a brush, he is ready.
Lord Master Lox: *enters and sees SpongeBob, Patrick, Yellow, Red, Lincoln, Ashley and the other students sitting at their desks* Good morning class!
Students: Hi, Mr. Master Lox.
Yellow Rectangle: Master Lox?! What are you doing here?
Lord Master Lox: Didn’t you cretons hear the memo? I am your teacher for today!
SpongeBob SquarePants: But what happened to Mrs. Puff?
Lord Master Lox: Let's just say that Mrs. Puff has to deal with something that starts with the letter M! Hehehe!
Mrs. Puff’s bathroom door is shown, she is still behind it and the toilet continues to flush.
Mrs. Puff: Oh goodness gracious! It just keeps coming and coming!
Lord Master Lox: *sets my nametag on the desk and takes a seat on three books* NOW, OPEN YOUR TEXTBOOKS AND DO ALL 96 PAGES FOR CLASSWORK!
Human Student Boy: What?! Why?! 
Lord Master Lox: BECAUSE, I SAY SO! AND I WILL INCINERATE YOU WITH INATOR IF YOU DON’T!
The students groan and begin doing this ridiculously long assignment.
Human Student Girl: And I thought Mrs. Puff was bad..
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, now let's go see the noobs.
Lincoln Loud: Alright.
Slide transition cuts to a marketplace, where several townspeople are selling their goods.
Noobs: Noob toys! Noob toys! Noob toys for all occasions!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey! There's Roblox! *looks at Lincoln and runs toward Roblox excitedly* Roblox! Come on! *realizes that Lincoln has not moved and runs back to him* Lincoln? What's wrong?
Lincoln Loud: Mm, maybe we should try someone else.
SpongeBob SquarePants: What? But we have history with him—that's important in business.
Lincoln Loud: Yeah, but we're looking for a krabby patty. Remember that Squidward sold us?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ooh, okay.
The two walk on.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I asked around. This is the place to get robux.
He motions to a robux in front of them.
Lincoln Loud: Oh. Doesn't look like it's open.
The store opens, revealing an "OPEN" sign.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: They're open!
They walk inside.
Mr. Robot: *offscreen* Close the curtains behind you, please.
Lincoln Loud: *does so*
Mr. Robot: *offscreen* Walk towards me.
They approach Mr. Robot at the counter.
Mr. Robot: How can I help you?
Lincoln Loud: We just want to get robux.
Mr. Robot: *laughs* This isn't robux. This is a sea pet. I call it the sea urchin.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: The sea urchin?
Mr. Robot: Yeah. *brings out a sea urchin* Here you go: a sea urchin. It's sharp and pointy.
Lincoln Loud: I don't know. I've never used it. Maybe we should keep lookin'.
Mr. Robot: This robux doesn't come around every day.
Lincoln Loud: Don't come around every day, uh?
Mr. Robot: *puts the sea urchin on Lincoln's hand.
Lincoln Loud: Ow, that hurt.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, that was easy.
As SpongeBob and Lincoln walk out.
Mr. Robot: Remember, no take backs.
Lincoln Loud: Okay.
The sea urchin crawls away.
Lincoln Loud: But if the sea urchin gets me.
Mr. Robot: That's all for now. Have a nice day.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *walks*
Slide transition cuts back to Mrs. Puff's Boating School.
Lord Master Lox: *lounges against my books and pulls out my phone* Now no annoyances please! I must surf the internet and–
Patrick Star: Leni, you can come in now.
Leni Loud: *rushes in* Sorry I’m late! I was caught up in traffic and I was getting a driver's license, Squidward whacked me with a sack of potatoes, I overslept, and uhhh, what was I talking about again?
Lord Master Lox: Leni, what are you doing here?!
Leni Loud: I go to school here.
Lord Master Lox: Since when?!!
Ashley Roberts: She just enrolled last week! And she is already such an interesting student!
Lord Master Lox: Grrr! Well pipe it down then! Leni! You have 96 pages of educational junk to work on! So do it!
Leni Loud: 96 pages?! Ripoff! And I thought Mrs. Puff was bad!
Human Student Boy: That's what I said.
Human Student Girl: Yeah.
Lord Master Lox: WORK!!!!
Patrick Star: *groans but reluctantly complies and does so*
A couple of hours pass, Master Lox is in the middle of a lecture.
Lord Master Lox: So who can tell me who invented the first steering wheel?!
Spongebob raises his hand.
Plankton: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob SquarePants: We learned about this in September! It's March!
Lord Master Lox: Sorry, it's my first day on the job. Well Lincoln, what are you learning about?
Lincoln Loud: Traffic yielding!
Red Rectangle: Doing math!
Yellow Rectangle: Yeah! 2+2=4!
Lord Master Lox: Yeah yeah whatever, who cares about math. Anyways, who can tell me what traffic yielding is?
Patrick Star: *raises my hand*
Lord Master Lox: Ugh…. you!
Patrick Star: *pulls a taco out of my backpack* Can I put this chili taco in the microwave?
Lord Master Lox: WHAT?!
Patrick Star: I’ll take that as a yes! *gets up and proceeds to do this*
Lord Master Lox: Patrick! It is one hour to lunchtime! *to Leni* Leni, can’t you wait until then?!
Leni Loud: I could, but Patrick's stomach will growl like a roundworm all class.
Lord Master Lox: OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Patrick Star: *finishes heating up my taco, eats it and takes a seat*
Lord Master Lox: Now, as I was saying, who can tell me what traffic yielding is?
Patrick Star: *then gets up and rushes to the toilet* Oh no! Not the Chimichanga Bombs! 
Yellow Rectangle: Aw man.
Lord Master Lox: *growls*
It is lunchtime now.
Lord Master Lox: *sits in class reflecting on my plan so far*
He gets a call from Plankton on his wristwatch and answers.
Plankton: How is teaching so far my little professor?
Lord Master Lox: *sarcastically* Well, let's see! Heating up chili tacos, leaving a mess for the janitor to clean up and students groaning sure sounds splendid! Oh my!
Plankton: What are you talking about, Master Lox?
Lord Master Lox: This job sucks Plankton! My plan is only barely hanging on its last threads!
Plankton: Did you ask SpongeBob to cook you up a patty yet?
Lord Master Lox: When school is out! The plan reaches its climax! I gotta go! Bye bye now! *hangs up*
The slide transition cuts to inside the Loud House in Lincoln's room. Lincoln is wearing pajamas.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, how's school?
Lincoln Loud: Great. Yellow and Red are good at math.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, okay.
Lincoln Loud: *takes out the sea urchin*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, Lincoln, is that a Roblox toy?
Lincoln Loud: *gasps* Whoa! It's the sea urchin!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, be careful, buddy!
Lincoln Loud: Sorry, man. I don't know what happened. I'm off to bed now.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, good night. I'll see you tomorrow, Lincoln. *leaves*
Lincoln Loud: *goes to bed and starts sleeping*
The scene switches to him in bed, moaning softly in his sleep. In his dream, Lincoln is seeing Ashley for a pizza party.
Ashley Roberts: Hey Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: Oh, hey Ashley.
Ashley Roberts: We can have a pizza party.
Lincoln Loud: Sure. *tries to hug Ashley*
Ashley Roberts: *turns into sea urchins*
The sea urchins start spreading over Lincoln's body.
Lincoln Loud: *screams in horror but is muffled by the sea urchins*
His whole body becomes like a topiary and he disappears by the sea urchins crawling away.
Screen cuts back to Lincoln's room.
Lincoln Loud: *wakes up and shrieks, then pants* Huh? *gets out of my bed*
The sea urchin crawls into Lincoln's hand. 
Lincoln Loud: What the? *tries to get the sea urchin off my hand but it's stuck in my hand and pants frantically*
He runs outside from the Loud House and screams in horror, swinging his arm but the sea urchin stuck in Lincoln's hand around in an attempt to get it off. He runs into the driveway and throws the sea urchin off his hand, but it crawls back to his hand. He covers his left hand with his pajama sleeve and manages to pull the sea urchin off his right hand.
Lincoln Loud: *sighs and sees the trash can* Jeez.
The sea urchin bites Lincoln's hand.
Lincoln Loud: *screams* Ouch! *throws the sea urchin in the trash can* Stupid thing! Worst robux I've ever spent.
Screen cuts to Mr. Grouse.
Mr. Grouse: Hey Loud, will you be quiet. I'm trying to sleep.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, I'm going to SpongeBob's house to make sure it's safe.
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob's house.
Lincoln Loud: *goes upstairs, then gasps and looks at my hand and checks no sea urchin* Phew. That was close.
In the bathroom, he brushes his teeth and walks sideways for some floss. As he walks sideways back to what he's standing, the sea urchin appears behind him as he sees it in the mirror, still dripping wet.
Lincoln Loud: *screams in horror*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sees Lincoln* What's going on?
Lincoln Loud: There's a sea urchin in here! It's evil!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Huh? *sees the sea urchin* Oh, dear!
Lincoln Loud: Don't let the sea urchin get me, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Don't worry. I got this. *puts the sea urchin in the jar* There.
Lincoln Loud: Let's go see Ashley.
Gary the Snail: *slithers* Meow.
Slide transition cuts back to Mrs. Puff's Boating School.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *walks back in*
Lord Master Lox: What do you guys want?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Can Patrick have a bandaid?
Lord Master Lox: Why?!!
Patrick Star: I cut myself with tinfoil while unwrapping by PBJ!
Lord Master Lox: What the?! Who cuts themself with tinfoil?!
Patrick Star: I do! Every day!
Lincoln Loud: Please! He really needs one!
Lord Master Lox: Grrrrr! These guys will be the end of me! That was all my work!
The sea urchin crawls to Lincoln's hand.
Lord Master Lox: Lincoln, where did you get the sea urchin?
The sea urchin pokes Master Lox in the face.
Lord Master Lox: *screams* AHHHHHHHHH!!! GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!! *gets the sea urchin off my face* Ouch! *hands Patrick the bandaids* Save some, when I get pushed to the point of assaulting you with a rake! Which is very likely!
The second half of the day commences. Outside on the driving course, Master Lox prepares to give Leni her driving exam in a car while Fanbot in between Leni and Master Lox in front, Patrick, Red, and Ashley sit in the middle and SpongeBob, Lincoln and Yellow sit in the back.
Fanbot the Robot: Here we are!
Lord Master Lox: Why did I sign up for this?
Leni Loud: Driving! Driving! Driving!
Ashley Roberts: That's the candid spirit, Leni!
Lord Master Lox: Anyways, do you even know the basic fundamentals on how to operate a boatmobile?
Leni Loud: Operate on what now? Am I a doctor?!
Lord Master Lox: NO! YOU DOOFUS WHO WILL NOW PARTAKE IN A DRIVING EXAM BEFORE I TAKE A BOXING GLOVE AND SMASH YOUR FACE IN WITH IT!
Yellow Rectangle: Hotheaded!
Leni Loud: Well if you put it that way! Let's test away!
Lord Master Lox: Thank You!
Leni Loud: *puts the car into gear and surprisingly drives decently at first*
Lincoln Loud: Good job Leni!
Lord Master Lox: I’ve seen better.
Leni is driving up to the wall/first turn.
Leni Loud: Dang it! I forgot what to do here! What should I do?!
Lord Master Lox: Turn the steering wheel!
Leni Loud: What is that? This? *grabs and turns the throttle into reverse*
Lord Master Lox: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The car zips backwards very fast and crashes through a throw fruit garden being tended to by Builderman.
Builderman: What the flop!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle and Lincoln Loud: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Fanbot the Robot: WHOA!
Lord Master Lox: PUT IT BACK INTO FORWARD GEAR YOU STUPID LIGHTWEIGHT!!
Leni Loud: How do you do that? This? *presses the self destruct button in slow motion*
Lord Master Lox: *in slow motion* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Back to normal speed, the car blows up and launches SpongeBob, Patrick, Yellow, Red, Lincoln, Leni, Fanbot, Ashley and Master Lox all face first right into the lighthouse at the Boating School. After landing in a dumpster full of garbage, the dismissal bell rings and every student rushes out celebrating.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni Loud, Fanbot the Robot and Ashley Roberts: *climbs out of the dumpster*
After a huge struggle, Master Lox finally manages to do the same and smells like a rotten apple in the process. The sea urchin crawls.
Patrick Star and Red Rectangle: Uh, bye. *leaves*
Fanbot the Robot: Awkward.
Lincoln Loud: So? Did Leni pass?
Lord Master Lox: *gets angry* YOU KNOW WHAT, I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! THIS PLAN IS CANCELED! AND NO!!!! THAT STUPID LENI FAILS!!!!
Leni Loud: Fail?
Lord Master Lox: *angrily* YEAH FAIL! YOU’RE AN IDIOT!!!! YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU!
Leni Loud: You think I’m an idiot! I have my calling in life! *rushes off to celebrate, and hits Master Lox with my foot in the process*
Lord Master Lox: Ouch!
Ashley Roberts: Leni, wait up!
Yellow Rectangle: Leni!
The sea urchin follows Lincoln.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle, Lincoln Loud and Ashley Roberts: *rushes off to join Leni and celebrate*
Lord Master Lox: *eventually transforms back to my usual appearance* Ugh! Glad that's over!
Plankton: *calls*
Lord Master Lox: *answers*
Plankton: Any luck, Master Lox?
Lord Master Lox: Nope! The usual!
Plankton: As expected.
Lord Master Lox: Don’t get smart you cold hearted machine!
Plankton: Well you didn’t program me with a heart, Master.
Lord Master Lox: Good point, just go and heat up the latest batch of chum! I will be home soon!
Master Lox suddenly hears a whistle and looks up to see an angry Mrs. Puff who somehow managed to stop her toilet predicament and has now arrived with Officer John Slugfish and other police officers.
Mrs. Puff: There is the imposter! And most likely the cause of my bathroom now having to get fixed by plumbers!
Officer Slugfish: Tasers ready!
Cops: *gets our tasers ready to zap Master Lox for his little crime*
This is the city in a nutshell.
Lord Master Lox: I guess I won’t be home soon.
Master Lox is zapped by the tasers evidenced by his screams and shrieks.
Ashley Roberts: Yay for me.
Lincoln Loud: Whoa. *laughs*
Ashley Roberts: Now we're gonna have pizza!!
Lincoln Loud: Yeah. This sea urchin is really cool! I just had to get used to it. *kisses the sea urchin* Ow. *laughs*
Slide transition cuts to a pizza party.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: *eats pizza*
Yellow Rectangle: This pizza tastes good.
Leni Loud: Yay, pizza party!
The sea urchin crawls to Lincoln. Screen fades in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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