Hotel Transylvania/Transcript

[The film starts in the year 1895. There was a bat who fell into a dark building and shapeshifted into a lurking figure. It loomed over a bed like a dark shadow. Until finally, it springs.]
Dracula: Peek-a-boo!
[Inside the crib was a baby girl, Mavis, who started crying.]
Dracula: No, no, no, no, I didn't mean to startle you, (picks her up) my little baby. Shh, shh. (singing) Hush, little vampire, don't say a word. Papa's gonna bite the head off a bird.
[The baby laughed. Days have passed for the legendary monster known as Count Dracula as he has a kid to rise from his deceased wife.]
Dracula: l vant to kiss your tush. l vant to kiss your tush!
[He changed her diaper and put the new one on her. He throws the old one in a coffin full of old diapers. Three years later, the count is seen discussing construction plans on a new “castle.”]
Dracula: Nice, but maybe a little more square footage. l want a lot of monsters here.
[A drool fell on top of the construction paper. It was little Mavis, able to walk on walls and ceilings. Next, she’s riding a pretend horse.]
Dracula: (playfully) I'm gonna get you, little Mavis. I'm gonna get you! (Stops for a moment) Oy.
[She stops at an open door.]
Young Mavis: What out there?
Dracula: [grabs Mavis] Oh, we never go out there, ever. [closes the door]
[In 1982, Dracula was reading Mavis a bedtime story.]
Dracula: "And then the monsters ran away and were forced into hiding. But Harry the Human found them and jumped out from under their bed."
Young Mavis: I'm scared! (hides under the covers)
Dracula: "And burned their clothes, and ate their toes! And took their candy!"
[When Dracula pulls the covers off, she is gone. He looks under the bed and sees Mavis scared.]
Young Mavis: Don't take my candy.
Dracula: Babyclaws, you don't need to be frightened. I promised your mommy I would protect you forever. 
[As he gets his head up, she crawls from under the bed and sees Dracula playing a ukulele.]
Dracula: (singing) My beautiful May-vay, let me wipe all your poop away. Those humans are nas-tay, so with Daddy you wiII stay. And if a human tries to harm you, l'll simply say... (roars) Because you're Daddy's girl. Daddy's girl. l'm your Vlad-y daddy...
[Later, she was wearing a helmet for the bat transformation test.]
Dracula: Just bend the legs and push off. Trust me, mouse. 
[She jumps off and as Dracula was about to catch her, she turns into a bat. Dracula was excited and proud of her daughter.]
Young Mavis: (turns into bat.) I can fly! I can fly!
Dracula: Look at you! Faster, baby! Faster! Whoo-hoo! You got it, my little voodoo doll! (Laughing.)
[He turns into a bat and plays with her daughter. Just then, a builder came in.]
Igor: Excuse me, sir.
Dracula: What? What?
Young Mavis: (bumps into a wall) I’m okay.
Igor: It’s ready.
[They look outside.]
Dracula: Looks good. Only monsters can get in?
Igor: It's hidden real nicely. You got 400 acres of haunted forest in front of you. You got the Land of the Undead on the perimeters. Any humans daring to even look over there will run away real quick.
[It pans to the construction site, where the zombie workers are distracted by a beautiful zombie lady.]
Igor: But, of course, be smart. No bonfires, no firework shows.
Dracula: Yeah, yeah, no, no. No fire, l get it, l get it. It's time, my darling Martha. The place we always talked about for Mavis. No one will ever harm her here.
[The camera soon pans away from the two vampires to a right view of the castle. As this castle was no ordinary castle. For you see, years later in the present day, at an old windmill house, two packages were being moved on their own and were loaded in a car. In Egypt, a mysterious figure came to peek out of the pyramid and slid down painfully. In London, two insect creatures came out of the sewers and one of them held the other insect with the barbershop tools as luggage. And on a highway in America, a big footed creature was walking when he hid in a tree to avoid a passing car. The car passed and the creature ran away. Soon, in the forest, a car was driving as fast as it could. And while on its way, more creatures are holding more luggage than ever. It soon went down to a secret passage where it leads to the same castle in 1898. The driver was a man with a pumpkin head and when he opened the door, lots of baby werewolves burst out of the car. In the car was a pregnant female werewolf and a male werewolf wearing a shirt and a tie.]
Wayne: Yeah, it’s a mess back there. (Gives the driver some money)
[We see zombies as chauffeurs and as they get the luggage out, we enter the hotel where we see thousands of monsters from around the world as this castle was known as...]
Dracula: (Faces us.) Welcome to Hotel Transylvania! 
[The skeleton mariachi band played their music as this is a hotel for only and exclusively for monsters.]
Dracula: (gives out some pamphlets to each monster) Human-free since 1898. Your safest destination. Take an itinerary. l have personally designed a spectacular schedule of events, all leading to my daughter's birthday extravaganza tomorrow.
We always look forward to coming every year, Count.
We enjoy the safety so much.
Of course. That’s why we built it.
Yes, good evening.
(Babbling) Thank you, Marty.
You look pale, as well.
Suit of Armor: Sir, sir, sir! We have an urgent plumbing issue.
Dracula: Plumbing? On it. Mr. Ghouligan! (Mr. Ghouligan arrives)
Suit of Armor: There is a clogged toilet in room 348.
[Bigfoot shrugged in embarrassment.]
Dracula: It's okay. We all get stomach aches, Mr. Bigfoot.
[The zombie plumber looks at his plunger. It’s too small. The werewolf kids arrived, causing trouble in the hotel.]
Wayne: Hey, kids, reel it in. You're only supposed to make Mom and Dad miserable.
Dracula: (picks up a werewolf pup chewing on his cape) Now, now, is that any way to behave? This is a hotel, not a cemetery.
Werewolf Pup: (talks with his mouth on the cape) Sorry, Uncle Drac. (lets go)
Wayne: Drac! How are ya? 
Dracula: Wayne, my old friend! 
Wayne: Couldn't wait for this weekend. Always great to be out of the shadows for a couple days.
Dracula: The family looks beautiful. Let me just clean up their filth. Housekeeping! 
[His housekeeping were green witches who are dressed like hotel maids. They clean the entire hotel under Dracula’s orders. Fixing the furniture and even cleaning the carpet with a living sponge. Now, zombies were seen carrying boxes until the pups ran into them. One of the boxes was Frank, all in parts.]
Dracula: Frankie, my boy! Look at you! Still traveling by mail, Mr. Cheapo, huh? 
Frank: It's not a money thing. I have a plane phobia, okay? I mean, at any moment, those engines could catch…
Wayne: Fire! Yeah, yeah. (Mimicking as Frank) Fire bad. (Stops mimicking) We know.
[Dracula sees the zombies not building Frank well. He gives Wayne Frank’s head and goes to the problem.]
Dracula: Augustus, Porridge Head, come on! Does that look like Frankenstein's head? 
[His cape was moving while he’s dealing with this problem.]
Wayne: Hey, Drac, buddy, what's going on with your cape there? 
Dracula: What? What do you mean? 
[Then, something pinched him from behind.]
Dracula: Oh! Who pinched me? 
[It was the invisible man who is fully invisible but wears his glasses.]
Griffin: Guilty. You’re irresistible.
Dracula: Yes, very amusing, invisible man. Hello, great to “see-you!” (He, Frank and Wayne laughs)
Griffin: Ah, that never gets old.
[He puts away his glasses and starts to slap Dracula.]
Dracula: Ho-ho-ho.
[Dracula tried to slap him back but when he did…]
Griffin: Missed me.
[Griffin punched Dracula in the stomach and the count got his claws out. He starts to attack Griffin but misses due to his invisibility.]
Griffin: Missed me, missed me, missed me.
[Dracula soon stops attacking Griffin.]
Dracula: Okay, you win. (Gives him a strip of bacon) Hold this bacon.
Griffin: Why am I holding bacon... 
[Suddenly, the pups attacked Griffin due to the bacon he’s holding.]
Griffin: Ahh! No! Get 'em off! 
[As they laughed, they stopped when a little sandstorm came and as it formed a sand mountain…]
Murray: Here comes the party! 
[Murray, a fat mummy with green eyes, appears from up top of the mountain and slides down to Dracula.]
Dracula: Hello, Murray!
Murray: Drac! What’s up, buddy?
[Murray tried to hug him, but he missed because of…]
Dracula: The sand, Murray, the sand! Always with the sand.
[The pups look to use the sand to slide down or form sand balls.]
Murray: (to the werewolves) Wolfy! Wanda! (Picks up Frank’s head) Frank!
[He roars at him but Frank roars him back. They both laugh of joy.]
Murray: He always bringing it full tilt. You’re looking skinny, too. Now that you’re just a head.
Frank: Okay, you’ll pay for that.
[The zombies put Frank back together, although in the wrong spots.]
Murray: So, what’s up, Drac? The hotel is off the hook.
Frank: (to Wayne and Wanda) Hey, guys, watch this.
[His lower half runs over behind Murray.]
Murray: By the way, you were right about those directions.
Dracula: Oh, good, good.
Murray: Yeah, l took the Tigris through the Nile, and there was absolutely no traffic.
[The lower half then farts, making it look like Murray did it.]
Dracula: (not amused) You’re kidding me. Right in my lobby? 
Murray: Drac, I swear, man, I don’t run like that.
[Frank and the others snickered.]
Dracula: Housekeeping!
[The witch uses a vacuum to suck up the gas and blows it on the fireplace.]
Murray: I was not the cause of that.
Spider: We’re ready! 
[The insect was done writing ‘Happy 118th Birthday, Mavis!’ on the web.]
Wanda: If only Martha was here to see this.
Dracula: She’s always here, Wanda. (stands on a stool made of toads) Okay, friends, l am so glad you are here to celebrate. Another birthday for my sweet little Mavis, and another successful year of refuge from them!
[He starts a slideshow showing pictures of humans.]
DRACULA: These are recent human images our surveillance has uncovered. They are getting fatter so as to overpower us. And they are wearing less clothing, allowing more movement to strangle us or cut open our heads and put candy in them. But they will never find us here. (to a picture of a kid eating ice cream) Evil villain, you will never win!
[He turns off the slideshow.]
Dracula: Okie doke. The fun starts in 30 minutes. Right now, l have to see my little girl.
Frank: She’s not so little anymore!
Dracula: Yes, she is! (roars)
[He goes up in an elevator.]
Eunice: (in a box) What’s going on out there? (gets out of the box) Are we at the hotel? Frank, did you book us for a tandem massage? Did you get us a table at Hunchback's? Did you do anything?
[Griffin sits on the box, shutting her up.]
Griffin: You’re welcome.
EUNICE: (in the box) What’s going on?
[In her room, the teenage Mavis was rehearsing the words she’ll say to her father.]
Mavis: (rehearsing in front of her mirror) Dad, you said when I turn to 118, I can go out to the world like every adult who likes to come and go from this hotel. (imitates her father) "But Mavey-Wavey, it's not safe! Bleh, bleh-bleh!" (normal voice) Dad, 30 years ago, you promised, I remember, we were both eating mice and you specifically said that you gave your word!
[Dracula is walking down the hallway to see Mavis.]
Shrunken head: Do not disturb.
Shrunken head 2: Do not disturb.
Shrunken head 3: Do not disturb.
Shrunken head 4: Do not disturb.
Shrunken head 5: Do not disturb.
Shrunken head 6: Do not disturb.
Witch Maid: Good morning, Your Eminence.
Shrunken Head 7: Maid, clean up this room!
[Dracula is at the door to Mavis' bedroom.]
Shrunken head: Oh, it's you. Glad you could make it.
Drac: Is she up yet?
Shrunken head: Oh, she's up. She's ready to go. And by "go", I mean go. As in, go check the world out. What you gonna do? What you gonna say?
Drac: I got it covered. Please, relax. Just do your job. [opens the door] Good morning, Mavey-Wavey! Happy Birthday, my little mouse!
Mavis: [deadpan] Thank you, Dad. I know it's my birthday.
Drac: I have so much fun planned! Whoo-hoo! But first, we go catch some scorpions together, just the 2 of us, yes, Dead-ums?
Mavis: Dad, please let me speak. There's something we have to talk about.
Drac: You want to go out into the world. You can.
Mavis: Aha! I knew you were gonna say that. But, Dad, you gave me your word, you know that I know that a Dracula's word is sacred. That our trust is the core of our-- (then) Wait, what?
Drac: I said you can go.
Mavis: You're just playing with me.
Drac: No, no, no, no. You're old enough to drive a hearse now, you're old enough to make your own choices. You can go.
Mavis: Holy Rabies. Holy Rabies! 
[She hugs him, then rushes to the closet and packs her suitcase. She turns into bat form and starts to fly out the window but...]
Dracula: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Wait a second, sweetfangs, where are you going?
Bat Mavis: Oh, well, I'm going to paradise, and this is just some stuff that I thought I would need.
Dracula: Paradise?
Mavis: (turns back into human form.) Yeah, you know. It's the place out there where you and Mom met. Auntie Wanda says you two were just like, Zing!
Dracula: I don't know from Zing. Where did you find that card?
Mavis: In one of your drawers. Why won't you ever tell me about how you met?
Dracula: It's actually Hawaii.
Mavis: (confused) Ha-what-what?
Dracula: Look, honey, I know your excited, but everyone has gone to great lengths to come see you on your birthday.
Mavis: I know. They always do. [turns back into bat form] But aren't I getting a little old for those parties? I love them, but, I really want to see new things. Maybe meet somebody my age.
[Mavis begins to pout.]
Dracula: Come on. No, no, don't do that. Don't give me the pouty-bat face.
[Mavis softly begins to cry.]
Dracula: Okay, there is a human village just a little ways past the cemetery. You could go there and be back in, like, 30 minutes or so. It should be plenty for your first time.
Mavis: (sighs) Well, it's not Ha-wee-wee, but I guess it's still technically out there. Okay, okay, okay! (flies back in the window and turns back into human form and hugs her dad) Thanks for trusting me.
Dracula: Of course, little one, I gave you my word.
[Just then, Drac’s friends enter the room.]
Wanda: Hey, honey! 
Griffin: Look at this! 
Mavis: Hey, guys.
Frank: You excited about tomorrow? 
Mavis: Not as excited as I am right now. You’re not gonna believe this, but Dad is letting me go out on my own to see a human village! 
Drac Pack: What? 
Frank: No!
Eunice: Excuse me. Drac! Have you lost it? Letting your own daughter out there with those horrible humans you always tell us about? That’s why you built this place. They hate us. They’re vicious. And they’re very loud!
Mavis: Auntie Eunice, maybe they’ve changed. I’m just gonna fly down the street and see how it goes.
Wanda: Okay, honey, be safe. Bring warm clothes and a sword.
Griffin: And look out for pitchforks.
Murray: Don't you let anyone scoop your brains out, either.
Wayne: Maybe stay in the shadows. It's more fun to just observe from under a house.
Frank: Guys, guys. She can handle it. She's a Dracula, for Pete's sake. But seriously, watch out for fire. Fire bad.
She walks up to the window and looks back at everyone.
Mavis: Bye, everyone.
[She leaps off and soared down below until she flies into the forest in bat form.]
Bat Mavis: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! 
Frank: Drac, l can't believe how calm you are about her leaving. I'm proud of you. (noticed that Dracula is gone) Drac? Drac? Where did Drac go?
[Bat Dracula flew onto a branch to watch his daughter.]
MAVIS: Whoo-hoo! This is awesome! There’s the cemetery, just like Dad said.
[He flew into the village and hid as his daughter arrived. She walked down a building and checked around.]
MAVIS: Whoo-hoo! Uh… Hello? Anybody out there? 
[She checked at a clothing store window. She looks at the mannequin, only for a villager to pop its head out from the curtains. He had gritted teeth and angry eyes, but his mouth was frozen.]
Village: Vampire!
Villager 2: Bite toes!
Mavis: Hi, humans. 
[Dracula then turns the lights off with a flick of his hand.]
Mavis: Everything okay? My name is Mavis Dracula, and l...
Villager 3: (aiming his pitchfork) Vampire. Burn clothes.
Mavis: Burn my clothes? Really?
[Next came an army of angry villagers, moving a bit slow.]
Villager 4: Vampire! We take your candy.
Villager 5: Candy!
Mavis: I'm friendly. l really am. Calm down, now. l just wanted to say hi. 
[One of the villagers tripped and his head rolled off, revealing a zombie head. Worried, Dracula zooms, puts the head back on the body, and places the mask back on.]
Mavis: Please. I've never hurt anyone. I'm homeschooled.
[One of the villagers was holding up garlic bread.]
Mavis: Is that garlic?
[Another villager accidentally stabs its fellow with his pitchfork, much to Dracula’s dismay. The pitchforked villager soon set everyone on fire with his torch.]
Mavis: Holy rabies, you're on fire. Can l do anything? Can l help you? 
[Their frozen angry faces kept on their faces.]
Mavis: Dad was right. Dad was right.
[She flies off into the night as a bat. Little did she know, the village was all part of a ruse made by her father to keep her in the hotel forever.]
Dracula: It worked. Now my baby will be safe forever. (to the zombies) All right, everybody, get back to work now. (to one holding a mannequin) Hey. You don't need a mannequin. Leave the mannequin here. Come on.
[He and the zombies leave the fake village, not knowing that a figure is watching from a distance. Back in Mavis’ room...]
Shrunken Head: Where you been? Why you sneaking around?
Dracula: Shh. Quiet. (knocks on the door) Sweetheart, have you returned so soon? 
Mavis: (offscreen) Oh. Come in, Dad.
[He enters the bedroom and finds her sitting on the bed.]
Dracula: How'd it go? How was the big world? How was it out there?
Mavis: It was okay, Dad.
Dracula: What? What’s the matter?
Mavis: Dad, you were right. Humans are awful. They were everything you said. They wanted to bite my toes.
Dracula: Your toes?
Mavis: And they had garlic on bread.
Dracula: What? Look at me. I'm getting goosebumps, I'm so scared. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. l hate that you had to see that.
Mavis: I'm so sorry I doubted you. I'll never leave here again.
[She hugs him and he smiles. His plan had worked.]
Dracula: Okay. Okay. Look, Daddy's going to make you the bestest birthday ever. Look what I brought you. (gets out a cake full of worms) Your wormcakes. Don't be sad anymore. Remember, this is the year we open Mommy's present for you.
Mavis: What did she get me?
Dracula: We'll see. She said never to open until you're 118. We've waited this long. You eat your wormcakes. You come down whenever you're ready, honey.
[He leaves the room.]
Dracula: Phew.
Shrunken Head: Ooh. What did you do? 
Dracula: What I had to.
Shrunken Head: Mm-hmm.
Dracula: She'll thank me one day.
Shrunken Head: Yeah, that's what the guy who shrunk my head said.
[The Count stitched the head’s mouth shut. He then got back to the main hall, where a zombie greeted him.]
Dracula: Yes, what do you want, a cookie? You did all right, man. Move on already.
[The zombie left. However, something was entering the hotel. A red-haired human with a backpack.]
Jonathan: (Groaning) Phew! Yeah.
[Dracula looked in horror at his arrival. A real human. In his human-free hotel.]
Mobs: Vampire! Vampire!
Dracula: A human. 
[He zooms into him, crashing through the sliding door.]
Dracula: Who are you? And how did you find this place?
Johnny: Oh, I'm Jonathan. And I was just mountain climbing with some dudes...
[He is seen falling down a mountain as he tries to climb.]
Johnny: (voiceover) ...and heard this story about a spooky forest. 
[A human villager cried after telling the story, and Johnny took a picture with his phone.]
Jonathan: (voiceover) And who's not going to go into a spooky forest, right? 
[Then, in the forest, as he took a picture of a spider with a skull abdomen, he fell down a ditch.]
Jonathan: (voiceover) So, then I see these goofy-looking dudes on fire. And we just kind of followed them to this, like, amazing castle.
[Dracula now remembered the fatal flaw to his plan.]
Igor: (flashback) But, of course, be smart. No bonfires, no firework shows.
Dracula: How many of you are there? 
Jonathan: l like to hit it alone. You meet so many awesome people in the youth hostels. Hey, speaking of awesome, that cape thing is killing it. ls there, like, a costume party here?
Dracula: What have I done? This is all my fault. You have to leave. (as he tries to leave) Oh, no.
[Monsters are approaching the hotel.]
Gremlin Wife: Excuse me. One of your piranhas in the lake is very rude. He ate my sister-in-law.
Dracula: Be right with you.
[He zooms into the hotel, with Johnny in tow.]
Hydra Head 1: Mr. Dracula, we asked for a room with a view of the pool.
Hydra Head 2: The room’s fine. We want to book a massage.
Hydra Head 3: Yes, Swedish.
Hydra Head 4: Shiatsu.
Hydra Head 5: Aromatherapy.
Hydra Head 6: Lower back.
Dracula: I’ll get back to you, Mr. Hydraberg.
Hydra Head 2: I hope so.
Hydra Head 3: I doubt it.
Hydra Head 1: See that you do.
Hydra Head 5: That’s Ms. Hydraberg.
Dracula: (backing away) Thanks. Yes, nice to see you.
Johnny: Dude, seriously, what’s up? It’s kind of funky to breathe under here.
Frank: Drac. Hey, Drac. How’d it go with Mavey? (Dracula disappears) Hey. Where’d you go?
[The two are now in a dim-lit room.]
Johnny: Wow! This room’s kind of small for a big castle. No bed, but check out these awesome dustpans they give you. (holds up a skull dustpan)
Dracula: Quiet, you fool! (checks in Johnny’s backpack) What weapons are you keeping in this container? Your pitchforks? (holds up a smelly sock) l can't breathe! It's killing me!
Johnny: Yeah, definitely due for a fluff and fold.
Dracula: (finds a phone in Johnny’s pocket) What is this? A torture device? A secret mind controller? You won't read my thoughts! l won't let you!
Johnny: Dude, it’s just music. Here, try it. 
[He manages to take his headphones on Dracula's ears, and it plays LMFAO's "Sexy And I Know It."]
Dracula: (freaking out) Ohh! It’s taking my soooooouuull! Aaaahh!!!
Johnny: What?! But it’s a good jam! Don’t be a grandpa.
Dracula: You need to go. No human has ever entered this castle. And if someone should see you, the safety of the hotel, the sanctuary, no one would ever come again!
Johnny: Aw yeah! Go for it! "Ever come again"! I love your Dracula voice. It’s so over the top!
Dracula: And Mavis... If she saw you, she would know that I lied. No!
Johnny: Who’s Mavis? Is this her room? I’m good with a roommate. I had six brothers growing up, so I could totally share.
Dracula: (to himself) I can’t kill him. It would set monsters back hundreds of years.
Johnny: One time, in Hamburg, I roomed with this dude who I caught stealing my shampoo. I said, "Whoa, man," and he threw a flower pot at me, but he was cool.
Dracula: What are you babbling about?
Johnny: What? Whoa! (rummaging through some costumes) Check out these awesome costumes.
Dracula: (gets an idea) Costumes. (grabs Jonathan’s backpack)
Johnny: What’s this? (Dracula takes it) Sorry, man. I just can’t be without my backpack. You know, everything I owns in there.
Dracula: It’ll be right here.
Johnny: Okay, It's just… I love my backpack.
[We now cut to outside the room.]
Johnny: (offscreen) Whoa. Hey, what are you doing? What are you-- What are you doing to my hair? Stop! Oh, wait, that tickles! Come on, man.
[Later, Dracula comes out with Johnny now dressed as a Frankenstein.]
Johnny Check it out, I’m a Franken-homie!
Dracula: Yes, hello.
Johnny: Look at me!
Dracula: This is totally normal, not a problem here. This is just a monster with me.
Johnny: Man, everybody stepped it up tonight. 
[They were heading for the front door.]
Johnny: Wait, why are we going to the front door? Are we leaving?
[Suddenly, a hunchback chef came in front of them.]
Quasimodo: Bonjour, Dracula!
Johnny: Hey, Sniffy. What’s going on?
Dracula: Not right now, Quasimodo.
[His pet rat, Esmeralda, sniffed around the Count.]
Quasimodo: What? No. Don’t be absurd. It’s not a human, but Monsieur Dracula.
Dracula: (chuckles nervously) How ridiculous. It’s me. (flicks the rat away)
[A gargoyle waiter brings in a meal.]
Quasimodo: Monsieur. They're deviled lizard fingers!
Dracula: Deviled lizard fingers?! I asked for spleens-in-blankets!
Quasimodo: You ugly fool! I told you, he doesn't like the lizard fingers!
Gargoyle Waiter: But you said... 
[Quasimodo slams the plate on top of his head.]
Johnny: [sees Skeleton Wife and approaches her] Whoa! Check that costume out! Wow, seriously, I just have to ask: how are you pulling this off? I mean, it looks so real, like, [Reaches his hand through her chest] I could just reach my hand through and...
[Skeleton Wife shrieks and slaps Jonathan.]
Skeleton Husband: [appears; angrily to Jonathan] What do you think you're doing?!
Johnny: [frightened with realization] Uh-- She's... She's real! You're real!
Skeleton Husband: Yeah, and I'll give you a real beating! Keep your hands outta my wife! [slaps Johnny and he bumps into Big Foot, then he looks up to see his face and starts shrieking]
Dracula: [hears Jonathan screaming and turns to see he's not behind him anymore] Oh, no. [heads out to find him]
Johnny: [realizes the monsters around him are real; hysterically] AAAAAAAAHH!!!
[The skeleton mariachi band played crazy music as Johnny ran around. He stepped on a living brain and screamed. He accidentally knocks the pumpkin head off a chauffeur and runs away from gargoyle waiters. He ran into a fly and screamed as a giant spider walked above him. The human accidentally slips on slime, bounced off Blobby, hit a witch maid, and flew around on a broom. While that’s going on, Mavis is seen helping Wanda.]
Wanda: Honey, I just didn’t know where you were. We thought you were still out.
Mavis: Oh, no. I don’t know why I ever wanted to leave. The humans are so boring.
[Jonathan crashes into Mavis, then they look into each other's eyes and they feel a "zing"; Dracula gets in the way]
Dracula: Mavis, honey, are you all right?
Mavis: Yeah, I think so. That was weird.
Johnny: [groaning] Ohh... My head hurts.
Mavis: Um, who is that?
Dracula: [nervous] Who is what? Oh! Oh, that? That is a nobody.
Mavis: Seriously, Dad?
Johnny: [hysterical] "Dad"?
Mavis: Yeah, I know. Dracula's daughter. Everybody freaks out a burst.
Johnny: "Dracula"?!
Dracula: Okay, we gotta go.
[He quickly takes Johnny away, leaving Mavis completely suspicious. Dracula opens the door to his bedroom and Jonathan screams in horror.]
Johnny: Please don't kill me! I'm so young! I have so many places I want to see! I've got tickets to 6 Dave Matthews Band concerts! I'm getting out of here!
[Johnny opens the cellar door and Glen from off screen roars at Johnny potentially to make him scream and forcing him to go back up.]
Dracula: [to Johnny] Shut up, already. It's impossible for me to think with all your noise. Sorry, Glen! Go back to sleep! [closes the cellar door and Glen roars down the bottom in reply]
Johnny: Wait. Aren’t you going to suck my blood?
Dracula: Classic human paranoia. Human blood is so fatty, and you never know where it’s been.
Johnny: So, Dracula doesn’t drink blood?
Dracula: No, I use a blood substitute. Either Near Blood or Blood Beaters. You can’t tell the difference.
Johnny: So, wow, you’re, like, the real Count Dracula. Like, "I’m Dracula. Bleh, bleh-bleh."
Dracula: I’ve never said that in my life. "Bleh, bleh-bleh." I don’t know where that comes from.
Johnny: Uh, can I just ask, what exactly is this place?
Dracula: What is this place? [goes to the window, opens it, and speaks in a dramatic manner] It is a place I build for all those monsters out there lurking in the shadows, hiding from the persecution of human kind. A place for them and their families to come to and free themselves. A place void of torches, pitchforks and angry mobs! A place of peace, relaxation and tranquility.
Johnny: Cool, so it's like a hotel for monsters?
Drac: [pause; slightly annoyed] Yes, exactly. A hotel for monsters. Way to sum it up. Okay, hop on my back, we're leaving.
Johnny: Oh, man, you’re a bat now. I always wanted to fly. What’s it like? (Dracula Bat picks him up by the back of the jacket) This is insane. Wait. Wait, I want to stay. Can Frankenstein sign my costume? Can I meet the Invisible Man? Hey, if I stuck my hand in the Invisible Man’s mouth, would it disappear?
[Drac, in bat form, is carrying Jonathan and heads out the window.]
Bat Mavis: [suddenly appears] Hi!
Bat Dracula: [surprised] Mavey! Wh-What are you doing, my sweet little blood orange? Our friend was just leaving.
Johnny: Yeah, he was flying me out the window.
Bat Dracula: [nervously laughs, then takes Johnny back inside] This guy is so funny. [turns into human and moves Jonathan away from the window] Oh, look there's something on your face. [to Johnny, in a soft tense tone] Play along if you ever want to see your precious backpack. 
[Mavis flies in through the window and turns back into her human form.]
Johnny: [amazed] Whoa. So, wait, you didn't have any clothes on when you were a bat? Or were they bat-sized?
Mavis: [looking slightly freaked out] Who exactly is that?
Dracula: Mmmmmm.... [thinking of a lie] Honey bat, you see, it's your birthday, and, you know, I want you to have the bestest, specialist party of your life. So... well... I... needed some help.
Mavis: You needed help?
Dracula: Well, look, I am pretty good, but I thought that it would be even more bestest, specialist if someone closer to your age helped plan the party.
Mavis: [excited, to Johnny] You're my age?
Johnny: Sure! Uh, well, how old are you?
Mavis: A hundred and eighteen.
Johnny: [surprised] A hundred and--?! [Dracula elbows him] Uh! [strained] Yeah... I'm 121.
Mavis: [excited] Really?
Johnny: [nods] Mm-hmm.
Dracula: [to Mavis] You see? Everything is very, very normal. I'm throwing a party and he is helping.
Suit of Armor: Sir, there's an emergency!
Dracula: Not now. Can't you see we're in the middle of something very normal here?
Mavis: Wait, what's going on here? There's an emergency in your precious hotel, and you're not running to fix it? Why? Is it because of him?
Johnny: (checks his reflection on the armor) Whoa, look at my face. (the suit of armor pushes him away)
Dracula: No, precious bones, it's not because of him.
Mavis: Good. Then go check on the emergency. And I'll keep him company.
Dracula: No! Anything but that!
Mavis: What?
Dracula: I mean... because he needs time to plan. And if you're keeping him company, then he's not planning. He's, uh, company-keeping. And then the plan, it doesn't get planned.
Shrunken Head: Mm-hmm. Good one.
Dracula: Shut up!
Mavis: Okay. So, maybe if you’re not planning later, we can hang out.
Johnny: Sounds good!
Dracula: Yes. You hear that? It sounds good. So you will hang out. See you later, my honey. Love you. (to Johnny) Okay, you’re not hanging out. Because you are leaving.
Johnny: But the opposite, you said.
[Dracula opens a secret passageway.]
Suit of Armor: But sir, the emergency!
Dracula: Follow me. [he and Johnny run off after Johnny removes the helmet]
Suit of Armor: Boy, that kid smelt.
Johnny: Where are we going?
Dracula: Just getting rid of you through a secret tunnel so she does not see us.
Johnny So, can I ask you a question? Is that real, about the garlic thing?
Dracula: Yes, I cannot have it. My throat swells.
Johnny: Huh. Wooden stake to the heart?
Dracula: Yeah, well, who wouldn't that kill?
[They went down the first door, but they hit a dead end. They take the door on the left.]
Dracula: Ah. Here we go. 
[He pulled down the lever, but it opened to a room where two miniscule fleas were in bed.]
Dracula: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m a little lost. Yes, I know it’s your honeymoon. I apologize. Go back to doing what you were doing.
[He closes the door.]
Dracula: I’m not down here much. It’s meant to be an exit if humans ever invade.
Johnny: So, I’m, like, the first human here, huh? That’s really cool.
[Drac and Johnny are in the catacombs, and Dracula sees another door.]
Drac: Oh, boy. I think this is it. [opens the door and it shows the Skeleton Wife having a shower]
Skeleton Wife: [notices them] Ahhh! What happening?
Dracula: [gasps] I am terribly sorry! Uh, my mistake!
Skeleton Husband: [bursts in] What is wrong with you people?! [throws a loofah at Dracula and closes the door]
[Drac and Johnny are walking in the catacombs trying to find a way out.]
Johnny: Oh, man, this place is amazing!
Drac: Okay, I could really use some silence right now.
[As they walk, Johnny nearly falls off the end of the stairs, but Dracula grabs him back. They reach another door.]
Drac: All right, third time’s a…
[He pulls the lever, only to show his monster friends attacking undead musicians. Dracula tried desperately to shut the door, but he was spotted by Frank.]
Frankenstein: Drac.
Dracula: Yes, Frankie?
Frank: Hey, buddy, what you been doing?
Drac: [to Jonathan] Don't move. [to Frankenstein] Never mind that. What you been doing?
Wayne: We wanted to practice our big number for Mavis' party, and then these losers wouldn't get off the bandstand.
Drac: Okay. Put down Zombie Mozart, Bach and Beethoven this instant.
[Frank, Murray, and Wayne throw them.]
Drac: [to Zombie Beethoven] Did you get to rehearse at all, Zombie Beethoven?
Zombie Beethoven: (in the tune of 5th Symphony) Eh eh eh eh.
Wayne: Listen Drac, we wanted to play something, like old times. We even thought maybe you'd sing with us.
Drac: Come on, fellas. You know that I haven't sung in public since Martha.
Frank: Yeah, but we just thought how much, you know, Mavis would love it.
Drac: I said no! [roars with his monster face] Don't ask me again! Okay. Now, let's hug the zombies. Let's all make up.
Wayne: [to Frank] Wow. He really scared you.
Frank: I wasn't scared. I was being polite, okay?
[Mavis appears, hanging upside down in front of Johnny.]
Mavis: Hey. What are you doing here? I thought you were planning.
Johnny: I never caught your name.
Mavis: My name’s Mavis.
Johnny: Mavis? That’s a pretty neat name.
Mavis: Yeah, my mom picked it. So, are you going to tell me your name?
Johnny: Me? My name? Good question. Well, obviously, I’m Frankenstein.
Mavis: No, you’re not. Frankenstein is my uncle over there. The gentleman hugging Zombie Mozart.
[Frank was indeed hugging Zombie Mozart, though in a headlock.]
Johnny: Right. Of course, he’s your uncle. Well, see, I’m not "the" Frankenstein. I’m his cousin... Johnny-Stein?
Mavis: Johnny-Stein?
Spider: Hey, Mavis!
[Johnny-Stein screams as he stepped right out of the opening. Frank spots Johnny-Stein and threateningly advances toward him, and Dracula gets in his way]
Frank: [to Drac] Who is that? [points at Johnny]
Johnny-Stein: [whispering to Drac] Are these monsters gonna kill me?
Drac: [whispering to Johnny] Not as long as they think you're a monster.
Johnny-Stein: [whispering to Drac] Huh? That's kinda racist.
Drac: [whispering to Johnny] We'll talk later.
[Jonathan, in his Johnny-Stein disguise, is imitating Frankenstein.]
Frank: Is-- Is he making fun of me?
Dracula: No, no! Of course not, because he's... [stops Johnny from imitating]
Mavis: He's your cousin, Johnny-Stein.
Drac: [Playing along] Yes, yes, yes!
Frank: I don't have no cousin.
Dracula: No, no, you do. He's your 6th cousin; 3 times removed.
Johnny-Stein: [Holds up his right arm] On your right arm side.
Frank: [to his right arm] You have a cousin?
Drac: Frank, if your arm can talk, it would tell you that the original owner of your arm had a brother...
Johnny-Stein: ...Who married a woman....
Drac: ...Who was... [Makes killing gesture]
Johnny-Stein: ...For strangling a pig.
Frank: I have pig strangling blood in my arm?! That's kinda cool. Well, Cuz, great to meet you. [shakes Johnny's hand, but his whole body's shaken multiple times hitting the floor]
Mavis: [Giggles]
Griffin: [approaches Johnny] So, what brings you here, Johnny?
Johnny-Stein: [frightened] Woah! What was that?!
Griffin: Oh, sorry. I should really clear my throat when I speak. Anyway, what brings you here?
Johnny-Stein: [nervous] Oh, uh... Party Planner?
Drac: Yes! I've recruited Mr., uh... Stein here to help me with Mavis' birthday party.
Murray: Wait a minute. You asked someone to help you?
Wayne: Captain Control Freak?
Dracula: It's "Count"... [scoffs] And yes, I thought having a Mavis contemporary would be useful.
Johnny-Stein: Yeah, he totally needed a fresher perspective. [Dracula glares at him]
Wayne: Okay, Johnny, Mr. Tight Coffin over here was planning to have these powdered lame-o's play at the party.
[Zombies sigh in sadness.]
Frank: So, anyways, we thought we could liven things up a bit.
Johnny-Stein: Whoa! You all play? Let's check you guys out!
[Frank and Murray are singing]
Frank: (sings) Girl I can't believe it's your big night.
[Griffin is playing the drums]
Murray: (sings) Seems like only yesterday you were eating mosquitos.
Wayne and Griffin: (singing) But now your eating frogs and mice.
Frank: (sings) Scarfing them down like Doritos.
All: (singing) Tell me where did the time go, girl
Johnny-Stein: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on guys. Stop. That's cute, but kind of old school.
Dracula: Yes, thank you, Johnny.
Johnny-Stein: You got to totally tempo things up. Here let me show you. Werewolf man, give me a jam!
[Wayne gives Johnny a "jam."]
Johnny-Stein: Two, three, four! [singing] Vampire girl with the fangy fangs. Hair real cute with the bangy bangs. Little princess gonna be a queen. Legal bat lady turning 118.
Audience: 118!
Johnny-Stein: Say 118!
Audience: 118!
Johnny-Stein: Yeah! Stage dive! [stage dives to the floor] Awesome!
Mavis: I'm so blown away right now!
Frank: I think my cuz is gonna make this... [shouting] ...the best party ever!
Murray: Yeah! Maybe he can find a way to get me some chicks.
Audience: We should do a dance contest.
Drac: We're not doing any of that! We've got to stay on schedule. Alright?
Mavis: [To Drac] Alright, Dad! Alright. [to Johnny] Johnny, you're coming, too?
Johnny-Stein: I don't know. Is it cool with Dracula?
All: Johnny, come with us.
[We cut to the monsters playing bingo.]
Skeleton: N-27.
Monster: N-27.
[It was pretty boring for everyone, except Dracula. Johnny almost started to fall asleep.]
Skeleton: G-61.
Monster: G-61.
[Eunice managed to get a Bingo.]
Eunice: Bingo! Bingo! 
[Unfortunately, an elderly gremlin ate up her chart.]
Eunice: How dare you! Do you know what doctor made me?
Elderly Gremlin: I didn’t do that.
[Next, they were sitting in the gym, where a fly is seen playing charades.]
Fly: Circles.
Yeti: Fly?
Fly Boy: Hands?
Yeti: FIlm.
[Fly spits into his hands.]
Yeti: Vomit.
Fly Boy: The Vomit?
Yeti: The Throw-Up.
Fly: No. That wasn’t a clue.
[Except for Dracula, everyone else is bored out of their minds. Even Griffin is trying to do charades.]
Hydra Head 1: Nothing?
Hydra Head 2: Glasses?
Hydra Head 3: Emptiness?
Hydra Head 4: Glasses?
Hydra Head 5: Glasses shaking?
Hydra Head 6: Oooh, glasses shaking sideways!
Hydra Head 5: Through the Looking Glass!
Griffin: (groans) I stink at this.
[Looking to liven the place up, Johnny gets out his trusty scooter. Everyone looked to see the riding man and wanted a go at it. Murray rode first, followed by a living hand and some wolf pups. A Yeti tries to ride on it, only to slip and destroy a few seats. Mavis was enjoying the fun display, while Dracula was horrified. Now, it seems to be the Elderly Gremlin’s turn, but she ate it in one gulp.]
Elderly Gremlin: I didn’t do that.
[We cut to the swimming pool outside.]
FLY: And pull it back. And up. And push. And twist. And back. And up. And twist. And push. 
[He spits into his hands, prompting the others to copy that movement.]
FLY: No. Don’t copy that. And back. And up. And twist.
[Frank was seen ordering at a food table.]
Frank: Let me get a bubonic moose nose omelet with cockroach paste and mouse jelly. And with egg whites.
Quasimodo: Bonjour, Monsieur Dracula! May I make you an omelet?
Dracula: No, no, no, no. I’m not hungry.
[Esmeralda squeaked to the hunchback chef.]
Quasimodo: What? Esmeralda, you smell it again?! Human!!
Dracula: I am hungry.
[He flicks the rodent away and it lands in Eunice’s hairdo. Johnny is seen talking to the others.]
Eunice: Johnny, you’ve been to the Taj Mahal?
Murray: Come on. No monster’s been to the Taj.
Mavis: Man, I wish I could go there.
Dracula: (to Quasimodo) You know what? I’ll take 50 omelets.
Quasimodo: (to the gargoyle waiter) You heard the man! Make them!
Mavis: How did you deal with the mobs?
Johnny-Stein: Yeah, it does get pretty crazy in the summer, but you know, you just gotta roll.
Wayne: He just rolls. That’s cool that he rolls.
Dracula: Yes, yes, cool. Look, love droppings, I brought you a bagel with your favorite, scream cheese.
[He brings to her a screaming piece of cheese.]
Mavis: Holy rabies! Thanks, Dad! Johnny, try some scream cheese, it’s awesome.
Johnny: Oh, cool. But I’m scream cheese intolerant. So, polite pass.
Dracula: [to Johnny] Yes, of course you are. Johnny, can we party-plan talk for a minute?
[As they leave, Mavis bites the head off the scream cheese.]
Dracula: [whispering] What are you doing? If they find out you're human, they’ll go bat-poop!
Johnny-Stein: Relax! No one suspects anything. The only thing that looks weird is how much whispering you’re doing.
[The monsters looked at Dracula. He escorts the disguised human away.]
Dracula: Just wrap it up! You will say you are going in the pool and act excited. And then you will say you hurt your back and you have to leave!
[Johnny grumpily goes over to the pool.]
Johnny-Stein: Here come good times! WHOO! Oh, dudes--! Oh, my back.
Monster #1: (leaps onto Johnny's back) I’m on your back!
Dracula: No, no, he said, "Oh, my back"!
Monster #2: Get on my back!
Mavis: Let’s do it.
Johnny-Stein: (enters the pool) Aw, here we go. Chicken fight! Push you off.
Monsters: [except Johnny] Chicken fight!
[They all enter the pool for chicken fights.]
Mavis: We got you, Johnny. You’re going down.
Johnny-Stein: Oh, yeah, we’ll see, "Mavey Wavey!"
Dracula: Okay, calm down with the fight chickens! Everyone, stop the roughhousing!
[Soon, a tentacle rose up from the water and became a diving board. Frank was on top of it.]
Eunice: Frank, if you hurt yourself…
Frankenstein: I got it, honey. The Stein boys are bred for this kind of thing. GERONIMO!
[He jumps off and falls through the air. When he splashes into the water, his limbs and head fall apart.]
Wayne: [sneaking around] Eh-heh-heh. [pulls the swimsuit off Griffin as a prank]
Griffin: AAH! (pulls up his swimsuit) Kids, why’d you do that?! I was just in the pool! The water’s cold. Don’t judge me! [runs away]
[Dracula noticed that Johnny’s makeup was running.]
Dracula: Johnny! Your makeup. Your makeup! Climb out. Now.
[He grabbed Johnny’s arm, only to be pulled into the water.]
Johnny-Stein: Oh, man! I guess the Count wanted to go for a swim.
[The vampire screams angrily underwater and goes to unplug the pool. Meanwhile, Johnny is now on the tentacle diving board and he jumps off.]
Johnny-Stein: Cannonball!
[Dracula sucks up the water and freezes Johnny. He then puts Blobby down and unfreezes Johnny and he falls safely on Blobby. He then gives a thumbs up and Dracula frowns. Scene cuts to the cemetery.]
Dracula: Oh, you messed up, man. You messed up big-time. I told you to take it down. You’ll ruin my hotel if they find out.
Johnny-Stein: Well, maybe you’re just jealous that people are finally making fun of this place.
Dracula: Oh, that? That was not fun. Everyone running, jumping, swimming with no order. That was the opposite of fun.
Johnny-Stein: Do you even know what fun is?
Dracula: I invented fun!
Johnny-Stein: Boy, the wrong people get to be immortal.
Dracula: (puts him in a trance with his hypnotic eyes) Look at me. You remember nothing of this encounter. You have no memory of this place or the monsters you met. Now go and never return.
Johnny-Stein: Wait, never return to the hotel?
Dracula: What? You were supposed to forget the hotel. I just used my powers to erase your memory. I looked straight into your eyes!
Johnny-Stein: Huh. Oh, maybe it’s the contact lenses.
Dracula: What?!
Johnny-Stein: These little plasticky doodads that help me see better. Here, let me just try and get them out real quick.
[He tries to get a contact lens off his eye.]
Dracula: (disgusted) Oh, that is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!
Johnny-Stein: Almost got it.
Dracula: Stop doing that! Please stop doing that! Fingers away from the eyeballs! Enough! Listen to me. You are never to return here. You are to stay away and never tell humans about this place. Or I will track you down and suck every ounce of blood from your body until you look like a deflated whoopee cushion! Be gone.
[Dracula just forced Johnny to leave and then he disappears into the fog.]
Johnny-Stein: [Scoffs] I can't believe I'm leaving, man. I could've been so great! Dude, you ruined everything! Suck my blood..? Should've said, "I'm staying, old man!" Give him a Bruce Lee kick. Boom! Right in the-- [A bat appears] Aah! Oh, my God! Count Dracula! Please don't kill me! I'm leaving, I'm leaving! [Looks up and the bat turned out to be Mavis, who is now in human form] Oh.
Mavis: [softly] Follow me.
Johnny-Stein: Oh... no... No, Mavis. I can't. I have to leave.
Mavis: You sure? It'll be fun.
Johnny-Stein: Okay.
[The disguised human follows Mavis through a hole that looks like a person’s mouth. Soon, they are on the hotel’s roof.]
Johnny-Stein: He’s not gonna see me, is he? Whoa.
[They look over on the horizon. It’s a beautiful sight from the roof.]
Johnny-Stein: Wow, would you look at the view from up here! You could almost see Budapest.
Mavis: Who-da-pest? Is that near Ha-wi-fi?
Johnny-Stein: Huh? Oh, you mean Hawaii. Yeah, that place is a knockout. I just went to a music festival there.
Mavis: A human music festival?
Johnny-Stein: Uh, I believe so.
Mavis: So, did they all bite your toes and shove garlic bread in your face?
Johnny-Stein: No. Well, one dude took a bigger bite out of my energy bar than I expected, but I blame that on the heat.
Mavis: It’s amazing. You’ve been everywhere.
Johnny-Stein: Well, you know, what’s the alternative? Just staying at home, never exploring, never seeing what’s out there? I’m only gonna be 121 once, right? Got to live it.
Mavis: Yeah.
Johnny-Stein: (sees the sun rising) Oh, man. The sunrise from here must be amaze.
Mavis: (the sun burns her feet) Ow!
Johnny-Stein: Oh, I’m sorry. Man, you’ve probably never even seen a sunrise, have you?
Mavis: No, not really. Why?
Johnny-Stein: Come on. I have an idea. (takes her to a dark corner of the chimney) Watch.
[The sun rises in front of Mavis and Johnny. Meanwhile, Dracula and his friends are relaxing in the sauna, talking to each other.]
Dracula: Didn’t I tell you guys we’d have fun in here? Is this not the best?
Wayne: Yeah, I’m working up a nice sweat. When's that Johnny kid gonna be done party planning? He's a great hang.
Frank: Yeah, he's an animal. And it was so nice seeing Mavis laughing and hitting it off with him.
Dracula: [in denial] Who's hitting what off? Please! Mavis could never be with... someone of his kind.
Frankenstein: (offended) I'm sorry? "His kind?" Are you saying our kind's not good enough for you? [taking it personally] "Your lordship?"
Drac: (nervous) No, no, no! Frank, I didn't... I meant that she wouldn't be into someone with... uh... such, red, curly hair.
Griffin: [getting upset] Uh... What's wrong with red, curly hair?
Drac: Why are you getting upset?
Griffin: [angrily] I have red, curly hair!
Dracula: Well, how was I supposed to do that?!
[Outside; Jonathan and Mavis are watching the sun rising]
Mavis: This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen. [Jonathan then steps on a roof and falls inside down] ...Johnny?!
[At the sauna, Drac’s pals have been pretty offended by what Dracula accidentally said.]
Dracula: [Nervous] Look, settle down, fellas. This is all a moot point. You see, Johnny... He left.
Murray: [insulted] Wait a minute, he left?
Dracula: Yes! He decided he didn't like Mavis, or any of us.
[Johnny-Stein falls through the roof after having a romantic scene with Mavis, and lands on Dracula's lap; Dracula is scared at first, then gives Jonathan an angry glare.]
Johnny-Stein: (smiles nervously) Hi...
Frankenstein: Hmm. I guess Johnny had second thoughts.
[Later, at a dining table, Dracula puts on his suit and escorts Johnny.]
Dracula: I can’t believe you stuck around, man. You don’t get it! Bad things are coming your way. I got to get my thoughts together! [in relief] Okay. You see these tables? You can spend the entire day pulling them out and placing them, party planner.
Johnny-Stein: (sarcastic) Well, fantastic. I’m trapped here. Now I know how your daughter feels.
[Jonathan pushes the table with a loud scratch.]
Dracula: Enough! Enough! Stop! Go to your corner, you're in a timeout!
Johnny-Stein: Timeout?! I'm a grown man!
[Dracula throws Jonathan away to the corner, puts a thumb on Jonathan's mouth, spins Jonathan around to look at the wall and makes Jonathan sit down.]
Dracula: Okay. [claps hands] Table 57, please move to position 23. 
[Table 57 flies over to position 23.]
Johnny-Stein: Whoa! That. Is. Cool.
Dracula: [offscreen] Face the wall. [back on-screen] 17 to 48. 16 to 47. 19 to 50.
Johnny-Stein: Awesomeness.
Dracula: Just let me do my work already! 29 to 35. 42 to 18. 10 to 44. 39 to 24.
[As Johnny got his thumb off of his mouth, the disguised human got out of the corner and jumped on a table.]
Johnny-Stein: 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23...? 36 up!
[Table 36 floats up in the air.]
Dracula: 29 to 35.
Johnny-Stein: Whoa! Ha-ha! Whoa! Ha-ha-ha!
Dracula: (sees Johnny in the air) 31 to 19.
[Table 31 bumps Table 19 and Johnny falls onto another table.]
Johnny-Stein: 24 up!
Dracula: Seven to 25. 14 to 30.
[He flew past Dracula, who now sports a devious grin.]
Johnny-Stein: Oh, where’d you go, grandpa?
Dracula: (hanging upside down on a table) Don’t freak out, gravity face.
Johnny-Stein: Eat my dust, gray face!
Dracula: 56 and 43, to my side.
[Tables 56 and 43 floated alongside Dracula as he chased Johnny around.]
Johnny-Stein: Whoo!
Dracula: Prepare to cry, Billy Backpack.
[The disguised human flew in a loop.]
Johnny-Stein: That’s how we do a half-pipe, baby!
Dracula: [sarcastic] Whatever.
[Meanwhile, Quasimodo and Esmeralda are seen sniffing on the ground.]
Quasimodo: Yes. Keep smelling. You catch the human, and then I will make human potpie!
[Back in the dining room…]
DRACULA: 27, 45, 65, 76, 48, block his path. Block his path! 
[The tables begin to block Johnny’s path.]
Johnny-Stein: Whoa-ho! 
[But he jumps through a hole between them and hops from table to table.]
Dracula: Oh, come on now, dude man! Nice! 
[He was heading towards the table wall, with one of them praying. Luckily, he jumped and flew through the same hole. He fell down, but Johnny and saved him.]
Johnny-Stein: I got you, buddy.
[The two buddies flew through the hallway.]
Shrunken Head: Do not disturb! People are trying to sleep here!
[They were having fun until the table ran into a suit of armor.]
Dracula: (laughs) Did you see that? Who is that guy, Sir Breaks-a-lot? Oh, boy, I have to say... THAT was fun. Okay? The fun you were talking about earlier? Nailed it! (uncovers a sheet, only to find the armor torso) Johnny? (sees some footprints) Quasimodo! 
[He runs as fast as a locomotive when he almost bumps into Mavis.]
Dracula: Mavis? Why are you still up? The sun is out. It could kill you, my honeyguts.
Mavis: I couldn’t sleep. Do you know where Johnny went?
Dracula: I don’t know. He… Why do you want to know?
Mavis: Oh! Uh…
Dracula: Do you like him?
Mavis: What? Pfft! No! Come on, Dad. He’s so weird and awkward. It’s like, are you an idiot, or do you know you’re adorable?
Dracula: Eh… Hold that. (to a suit of armor) Do you have a location on Quasimodo?
Suit of Armor: Yes, sir. They’re heading through the lobby, towards the kitchen.
Dracula: I need them stopped immediately. Is that clear?
Suit of Armor: Yes, quite. We are on it.
[As Quasimodo carries Johnny away, suits of armor block his path.]
Quasimodo: What is the meaning of this? Let me pass!
Suit of Armor: Quasimodo Wilson, you are coming with us.
[The hunchback kicks it in the crotch.]
Suit of Armor: Why did that hurt me?
[He then jumped on its head and got onto a chandelier. Meanwhile, Dracula and Mavis are at the library.]
Dracula: Look, honey, there’s no falling in love at your age.
Mavis: Mom was my age. Eunice says Mom kissed you first ‘cause you were too scared to make the first move.
Dracula: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Forget about me and Mom and kissing.
Mavis: Dad, at some point, I'm going to get married. l can't be here forever
Dracula: What? Why not? You're barely out of your training fangs.
[Back outside, Quasimodo was making easy work on the knights like they were nothing. While he swung, spiders landed on his hat, only to be swatted and attacked by his rat, Esmeralda. After landing on the floor, the hunchback saw some armors and gargoyle waiters heading for him. Thinking quickly, he jumps onto the armor’s head and kicks it off, prompting the gargoyle to be hit by the head. Quasimodo kicks more armor heads towards the waiters, defeating them one by one. Soon, he was victorious.] 
Quasimodo: Quasi wins again! When you bump with the hump, you land on your rump!
[Back at the library...]
Dracula: But why all the sudden interest? Every time we used to talk about love, it was always, "Dad, that's gross," and "Dad, l don't want to know about that."
Mavis: (SIGHS) I don’t know.
Suit of Armor: Sir, he made it into the kitchen.
Dracula: He what? What do I pay you for? (to Mavis) I’m sorry, honey. I have to go.
Suit of Armor: He doesn’t pay me.
[In the kitchen, Johnny is hanging over a boiling pot.]
Johnny-Stein: [gasps hysterically] Before you kill me, can I please beg my backpack one more time? I don’t want to leave anything unresolved.
[The vampire arrives in the kitchen.]
Quasimodo: Bonjour, Monsieur Dracula!
Drac: Shut your hump hole.
[He saves Johnny and prepares to leave.]
Quasi: Now you are helping him? What is it with you and this human?
Dracula: He is not a human. He’s a Stein!
Johnny-Stein: That’s right, little man, I’m a Stein!
Quasimodo: If he is a monster, let him scare Esmeralda!
Dracula: The mouse? Pfft! Without a doubt.
Johnny-Stein: Okay. Here we go. (goes over to the mouse) Blargh! Bleegh! Blargy-bliggy-blargh!
[It didn’t work, and a squeak from Esmeralda causes the disguised human to jump back in fear.]
Quasimodo: A human! A human! Monsieur Dracula has brought a human into the…
[Dracula freezes him with his magic.]
Quasimodo: (muffled) Esmeralda, help me.
[After Dracula and Johnny leave, a lone gargoyle waiter enters the room and puts a finger into his nose, making it look like he’s picking his nose. Back with Dracula and Johnny...]
Johnny: Hey, thanks for saving me back there. That guy’s crazy! Trying to eat me. That’s only happened to me one other time. This weird dude at a Slipknot concert.
Dracula: There’s something I need to show you.
[They enter a dark room, where a huge, shrouded portrait of Martha hangs on the wall.]
Jonathan: Wow. (notices a coffin) Hey, are we at a funeral right now? Oh, wait, no, it’s your bed. So creepy and cool. (gasps at the sight of the portrait) Wow! I know her! I’ve seen that picture at the ruins of Lubov. That’s my favorite castle. There’s a whole legend around that lady.
Dracula: A legend?
Johnny The Lady Lubov. The story is that a lonely count met her by chance, and they say that no two souls were ever more meant for each other. Eventually, they settled down at Castle Lubov and had a child. But then, a horrible tragedy happened. A fire started mysteriously one night, and it killed both of them. When I was at the castle, I could still feel their powerful love. They say it’s as if a soul is still trapped in the ruins themselves.
Dracula: The legend is wrong. It was only the wife that died. 
[He uncovers half of the portrait to reveal the husband to be Dracula himself.]
Johnny: Oh.
Dracula: And it was no mystery who killed her. She was killed by your kind!
[We flash to many centuries ago in a small village. An angry mob is outside the home of the vampires.]
Mob: Vampire!
Martha: Honey?
Dracula: Go hide. I’ll take care of this.
[He went outside to try to appease the mob.]
Mob: Vampire!
[Suddenly, he heard a scream. Martha was seen falling to the ground.]
Dracula: Martha!
[She was killed. With Mavis under his care, Dracula watched far away in sadness as his house burned down to the ground.]
Dracula: They are the real monsters. I built this place for my love, to protect her child. As a father, you do everything to keep your family safe, even if you have to break their trust. But now, Mavis has feelings for you.
Johnny: What? I just… Awesome.
Dracula: It’s all right. You are a good one. If the world was different, maybe it would be possible.
Johnny: Drac, this is the 21st century. People aren’t the same as they were back then.
Dracula: Can you tell me for certain that if we came out in the open, everyone would accept us? Everyone?
Johnny-stein: No. You’re right. I’ll go for good this time. You can just say I had some emergency, or the gremlin lady ate me or something.
Dracula: No, no, no, no, no. I don’t want to ruin her birthday party. You can sneak out after it’s all done.
Johnny-stein: I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her. Or you.
Dracula: You know, you’re not the smoothest Frankenstein, but you’d make a great vampire.
Johnny-stein: For real? ‘Cause I think I kind of got your hypno-eyes down.
Dracula: Oh, boy, here we go. Let me see it.
Johnny-stein: (imitates Dracula) Beware! For you are in my power. l command you to be the werewolf man!
Dracula: (howls; imitating Wayne) l have too many kids. (laughs) Someone scratch me, l have fleas.
Johnny-stein: ’Cause he’s a wolf, he’d get those.
Dracula: Yeah, no, don’t explain it. It’s not funny when you do that.
[The next night, Wayne, Wanda, and the werewolf kids are asleep in their room. Wanda is sleeping soundly, while Wayne is just lying there with bloodshot eyes. He is surrounded by his children, who prevent him from getting proper rest by sleeping on top of him. Wayne starts to close his eyes slowly. Suddenly, the skull phone on the nightstand starts screaming, acting as an alarm. Wayne's bloodshot eyes open instantly. The wolf pups all howl. The kids fall off of Wayne as he sits up to answer the phone.]
Wayne: I didn’t order a wake-up call.
WOMAN: (on phone) Count Dracula arranged it for all the rooms.
[He hangs up and drowsily lays to his side, but the phone starts screaming once again.] 
Wayne: (as he keeps lifting and putting the phone on and off the hook) Where's the snooze button?!
Skull Phone: There will be no snoozing. The party is today. (continues screaming)
[Wayne clenches his ears. Soon, every monster was getting ready for the party. We see Mavis looking in her closet picking a dress for her birthday, but she decides to make something from her dresses. She takes her dresses and starts sewing them. But it was hard for her human hands to have the string in the knitting rod. So, she changed to bat form to fit it in. We go to Griffin where he was cleaning himself in the restroom. Even his handsome bottom.]
Griffin: Ooh, yeah, perfecto.
[As for Dracula, he placed a gift on Mavis’s bed when she wasn’t in her room. He leaves her room as the gift was from her mother. Later, a big party was held for Mavis turning 118. Onstage, Frank and the monsters were singing a really cool tune.]
Frank: (singing) Girl, l can't believe it's your big night. You ate your frogs, now the party's so right. Where did the time go, girl? 
[The werewolf pups were dancing on a floating table, only for Winnie to knock them off. Everyone was jamming to the beat, even the zombie musicians.]
Murray: (singing) And, girl, you used to suck a binky. Look at you now. You're sucking blood right out of the cow.
[Mavis appears to Johnny in a stylish cape.]
Johnny-Stein: Wow. You look beautiful.
Mavis: Thanks. Thanks for the party.
Johnny-Stein: Yeah, you like my little touches?
Mavis: It’s amazing.
Cyclops: Terrific party.
Yeti: You really outdid yourself, Drac.
Witch: Got to be the best one I’ve been to in 500 years.
Bigfoot: (ROARING)
Johnny-Stein: [to Mr. Bigfoot] Sorry, big man! 
[As danced on, he notices Mavis' love struck look. She slowly leaned close.]
Johnny: [to Mavis, who's approaching him closely so she could kiss him] Um, Mavis, I am crazily scared right now.
Mavis: [lovingly] Maybe that's a good thing. [kisses him]
Dracula: [A suit of armor alerts him to Mavis kissing Jonathan, and he is enraged; then quickly separates them] How could you?! After I shared my pain with you?!
Johnny-Stein: [frightened] But-- No--
Mavis: Dad, it was just a kiss.
Dracula: No, you're not allowed to kiss!
Mavis: Dad, I'm allowed to do things. I'm not 83 anymore. I'm allowed to like people or go see the world again.
Dracula: What?! You saw it! You-you said you didn't like it!
Mavis: Maybe I want to give the village another chance. I need to learn, you know, how to roll with it like Johnny does.
Dracula: No, no, you can't go to the village again!
Mavis: Maybe you can make them see that we can be friends.
Dracula: No, that isn't possible!
Mavis: Well, you can't be sure. It's all in how you present yourself!
Dracula: No, that won't make a difference!
Mavis: How do you know?
Dracula: Because it just won't!
Mavis: Why, why won't it?!
Dracula: BECAUSE THAT VILLAGE DOESN'T REALLY EXIST! 
[The music stops, and Mavis and the other monsters are now in a state of shock; a string on Frank's guitar breaks.]
Mavis: What do you mean... "doesn't exist"?
Frank: [He and the others approach Dracula] What did you do?!
Dracula: I-- [defiant] I did what I had to do.
Mavis: [demanding] What was it? What exactly did you have to do? [flashes a scary face] Tell me!
Dracula: I-- I built the town, the staff put it all together, the... the zombies dressed up as the townspeople. [the zombies grunt, 'Uh-oh.' Mavis heart-brokenly wanders, and Dracula follows her] Please, if you really went out there and something happened to you, I... I just couldn't live with myself!
Mavis: But you could live with this? Lying to me? Tricking me? Keeping me here forever when you knew my dream was to go?
[Dracula opens his mouth to say something, but a muffled noise is heard.]
Quasimodo: [enters the ballroom in a wheelbarrow; muffled] Liar-! Liar-!
[Dracula makes an Uh-oh face.]
Murray: ... Oil?
Quasimodo: Uh-uh-uh-! [Muffled speech]
Eunice: English, please. Your voice is really annoying.
Fly: Wait. I speak Frozen. He says, "Dracula has brought a human into the hotel."
[The crowd gasps.]
Gremlin Wife: A human?!
Gremlin Husband: [hugs her] Stay close, Pookie!
[Quasimodo has another muffled speech.]
Fly: He says, "There is ze human." He has a French accent.
[Johnny starts to walk out the doors, but they shut, and he sees Esmeralda growling like a dog in front of him.; Johnny and Dracula and other Monsters gasp.]
Frankenstein: Johnny's not a human. He's my right arm's cousin. He's lying!
Griffin: Yeah. And why is he picking his nose?
[Quasimodo has another muffled speech.]
Fly: He says, "It's a long story."
Johnny-Stein: [to Esmeralda, who's running amok in his face and hair] Hey! Wait! No! Get off me! Ew! [Esmeralda squeaks, as she wipes away Johnny's make-up, completely blowing his cover.]
[Quasimodo has another muffled speech]
Fly: He says, "Behold ze human!"
[The entire crowd screams and runs in panic.]
Frankenstein: [horrified] I don't believe it.
[Among the panicking monsters, Mavis walks closer to him, as he gives a worried and regretful expression]
Mavis: Is it true? Are you a human?
Johnny: [guilty] Yeeeessss... I'm so sorry.
Mavis: [hugs him lovingly] I don't care! I still want to be with you.
Johnny: [sighs in relief and wants to hug her back until he sees Dracula looking really worried, and he remembers what he told him earlier] Uh... Well, tough! 'Cause I don't want to be with you. Because... you're a monster! [Mavis gasps in shock] And I hate monsters! [Heads to the door] Goodbye! 
[As he leaves, he scares Murray by trying to give him a Bruce Lee kick.]
Murray: Please, don't hurt me!
[Jonathan gives Mavis one last stare of hatred and heartbreak and heads out the door. Dracula tries to comfort the heartbroken Mavis, but she angrily wheels around and faces him.]
Mavis: (furious) This is all your fault!
[She turns into a bat and flees the room, leaving Dracula to feel bad about her. The other monsters, also angry with Dracula for his lies, leave the room, as well.]
Monster #1: We're getting outta here!
Monster #2: I am never coming back here!
Monster #3: "Human-free?!" What a rip!
Monster #4: I thought I smelt a human.
Monster #5: Oh yeah, ice machine? Also broken!
[Soon, it was midnight, and the place was barren. Empty. The band plays sad music as Dracula approaches Mavis’ bedroom.]
Shrunken Head: Oh. Here he comes. Count Crock-ula. I’m just glad my eyes are stitched shut, ‘cause I don’t even want to…
[Dracula uses his magic to stitch the mouth shut and knocks on the door.]
Dracula: Mavis, honey, are you in there? 
[When he enters the room, she isn’t there! He sees an open window thinking that she leaves the room.]
Dracula: Mavis? Mavis? Mavis, where are you? 
[He turns into a bat and goes outside to find her. But when he does, she is on the rooftops. He went to the roofs, changed back to human and sat near her.]
Dracula: Mavis?
Mavis: Dad, can you do me a favor?
Dracula: Yes, yes, of course, darling. Anything.
Mavis: Will you erase my mind? 
Dracula: No, no, no, no. No, I won’t do that. There’s too much I want you to remember.
Mavis: You were right, Dad. The humans hate us.
Dracula: Sweetheart, there are so many eligible monsters out there. You’re so young to… (sees a book she has) What is it? What are you reading?
Martha: (voiceover) "Two lonely bats crashed in the night. They felt a Zing. Love at first sight. They knew right then they would be husband and wife. For a Zing only happens once in your life. Your Zing will come, my love. Cherish it. Love, Mommy."
Mavis: (still heartbroken and in tears) I thought we Zinged, Dad.
Dracula: (gasps) You and Johnny? 
Mavis: I guess it was only me. But you should be happy, Dad. There's no reason for me to leave. I have no more dreams. I'm just like you now.
[As she left, Dracula sat alone on the roof. The wind begins to blow the letter away, but the vampire grabs it.]
Dracula: (ashamed) Martha, what have I done? 
[As the sun rose, back at the hotel, every single monster was in the lobby, demanding to check out.]
Monster 1: Where is my bill? 
Monster 2: Over here. I’m next.
Monster 3: I’m checking out. Take my key! Take my key! 
Wayne: What is this minibar charge?
Wanda: Honey, the kids threw the minibar out the window.
Wayne: And that’s our fault?
Wanda: Well…
Murray: (carrying some boxes) Excuse me! Pardon, yeah. Excuse me, I got a couple of people to express mail.
[Soon, Dracula arrived in bat form.]
Bat Dracula: Friends, please, stop.
Murray: It’s too late, rat-bat!
Bat Dracula: Please, (turns into his vampire form) I’m begging you. I need you to help me find Johnny.
Wayne: The human? He could’ve killed us!
Murray: He touched my guitar!
Griffin: He put his hand in my mouth to see if it would disappear.
Elderly Gremlin: He let me eat his SCOOTER!
[The monsters gasped at the bat lady.]
Dracula: I know I lied. I was wrong. But you have to believe this: Johnny wasn’t a bad guy. The truth is, I don’t even know if humans are bad anymore. (to Frank in a box) Frank, come on, buddy. You understand.
Eunice: (inside a box) He’s not talking to you. First you tell us humans are bad, now they’re good. What else? Up is down, cold is hot, gremlins don’t smell.
Gremlin Husband: Hey! 
Frank: (his head pops out of the box) I really liked Johnny, cousin or no. He told fun stories.
Dracula: I think they Zinged.
Wayne and Wanda: They Zinged?
Dracula: But I got in the way.
Frank: You only zing once in your life.
[Frank cries and short circuits.]
Eunice: Oy, now you’re short circuiting.
Frank: I don’t care!
Griffin: Well, what are we doing? Let’s get Johnny. 
[And so, the Drac Pack went off. Though, not before Frank accidentally flattens the fleas while bouncing on his butt.]
Flea Wife: We should have honeymooned at your parents!
[The Drac Pack rode off in the hearse mobile.]
Griffin: Okay, okay, where am I going? The human world, before Johnny’s gone forever.
Murray: But what about the sun? 
Dracula: I don’t know. I’ll just have to roll.
Wayne: He just rolls. Rollability.
[They follow the footprints down the road.]
Dracula: So we follow his boot-prints. When they run out, that’s where you come in, Wayne.
Wayne: Me? 
Dracula: There! 
[They stopped near a shirt.]
Dracula: Yes, I knew something would fall out of that backpack. (smells it) Yowch! That stinks! (to Wayne) Work your magic.
Wayne: Wait, you want me to track the smell? No. My sniffing tracking days are way behind me. Do you know how many diapers I’ve changed? How many number twos have destroyed this thing? But…
[He whistles like a dog whistle to summon his kids! The were-kids start to rock the mobile.]
Griffin: Hey! Take it easy! Watch it!
Wayne: Sit. (The pups are not listening. He holds up Jonathan's shirt) Smell. I said smell. (Two of the pups smell Wayne's rear end) Not me! The shirt! The shirt!
Dracula: Do any of your kids still respect you?
Wayne: Mm. Give me a second. Oh yeah. Winnie! Front and center!
[The werewolf kids are roughhousing with each other and stop abruptly to let Winnie pass through. Once she goes, they go back to their fight. Winnie spits out her pacifier and then deeply takes a whiff of Jonathan's shirt.]
Winnie: He got into a car, a '86 Fiat. (sniffs) It needs a little transmission work, but otherwise okay. (sniffs) It drove through town to the airport, flight 497…(sniffs)...8:00 A.M. departure.
Dracula: That’s in 15 minutes.
Winnie: (sniffs) Seat 23A. (sniffs) He ordered the vegetarian meal.
Dracula: Okay. Thank you, cutie. Now all of you, go back to your mother!
[The kids left as Dracula got back in the car. Soon, Dracula and his friends are driving to the human world to get Johnny back, but they soon run into a lone sheep blocking the road.]
Dracula: Sheep!
[Griffin quickly twists the wheel in panic and the car runs off the road, crashing down the hill until it reaches a small mountain freeway.]
Griffin: Whoo! High five! Don’t leave me hanging.
All: (seeing a flock of more sheep up ahead, freaking out) Aah! 
[Griffin stops the car.]
Murray: Lots of sheep!
Wayne: I got this one.
[He gets out of the car, devours the whole flock of sheep in two seconds, then comes back in the car, belching a tuft of wool out; The others, looking horrified at the sight, give Wayne a disgusted glare.]
Wayne: What? Now there’s no sheep in the road. Let’s go.
Murray: That was pretty sick, man.
Wayne: You eat lamb chops, it’s the same thing. We don’t have time for this. Come on, let’s move it!
[They all drive off. They soon saw a figure wearing a werewolf mask.]
Griffin: Look, a human.
Werewolf Man: Welcome to Transylvania! (HOWLS) 
[The Drac Pack was weirded out from this.]
Frank: That was trippy.
[They soon arrive at a town, where a monster festival is happening.]
WAYNE: Monster Festival? What’s a Monster Festival? Did they know we were coming? (GROANING) They like us? Really? 
Dracula: (to a nerd dressed like him) Excuse me. Do you know the best way to the airport?
Dracula Nerd: Yes, fellow Dracula, there is only one way, bleh, bleh-bleh. (points straight ahead to the road the crowd is on)
Dracula: But it's all blocked. We'll never make it in time.
Dracula Nerd: You should have left an hour earlier, bleh, bleh-bleh.
Dracula: (stick his head out of the window) I do not say, "bleh, bleh-bleh"! All right, let's just run through it on foot. (leaves the vehicle)
[As they walk, Dracula has his cape over him, but he was sizzling from the sun. Frank then has an idea.]
Frank: (puts a hat on Drac) Drac, this’ll protect you.
Dracula: “Bleh, bleh, bleh.”
Frank: Imagine if that guy knew he was talking to the real Drac. He’d run for the hills! 
Murray: Hold it, now. Hold it, now. That sounds spot on. But the only way they’d know the real us is if we show the real us.
Dracula: This could work.
Frank: You mean, like, scare them? We haven't scared people in centuries. l don't even think l have it in me anymore. (tries to roar like a monster, but couldn’t) l got nothing. l really got nothing.
Griffin: Let’s just move this along. (lights a match)
[Frank notices the fire and screams. He stomped on the ground and began to roar monstrously.]
Frank: Fire! Fire! Fire!
[After he climbs to the shoulders of his inflated balloon statue, he gives a deafening roar across the town that causes the whole watching crowd to cover their ears. After the roar, everyone cheered.]
Frankenstein: I’m trying to scare you! The real Frankenstein!
Man: We know! We love you! 
Woman: Can you sign my torch?
Frankenstein: Listen, before anything else, down there’s the real Dracula!
Man 2: Prove it. 
[Dracula hypnotized him and made him break his cup by his head. Drac stops hypnotizing him.]
Man 2: All right. Continue.
Frankenstein: Drac’s daughter’s in love, and he’s got to get to the airport! And he can’t get through this crowd! 
Frankenstein Fan: Why doesn’t he fly? 
Dracula Fan: The sun, you idiot. He’s a vampire.
Frank: That’s right. Thank you, Monster Nerd. So, people, if you really are our friends, clear a path for the man! 
Dracula Nerd: Okay. All Draculas, line up. Bleh, bleh-bleh.
[The Dracula fans lined up and the humans cleared a path for Dracula.]
Dracula Nerd: Everyone else, lift the capes. Protect our friend. Bleh, bleh-bleh.
Frank: It’s all for you, buddy. Go ahead.
[The vampire, touched by the 21st century’s newfound love of monsters, zooms through like a speeding comet. It was clear that Johnny was right. The monsters were ready for the 21st century.] 
Fans: Good luck! Go get ‘em! Go, Drac, go! Go, Drac! Go, Drac! Go, Drac! Go, Drac! Go, Drac! Go get ‘em! Go, Drac, go! We love you, Dracula! 
[But as Drac arrived at the airport hiding under the trees, he was too late. The plane Johnny is on flew off. Drac made a hard decision.]
Dracula: There’s no choice.
[He ran across the field and transformed into a bat to follow the plane as it took off. With the sun scorching on him, it was a matter of life and death.]
Dracula: Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
[As he was near the airplane while the sun was making him smoke due to his weakness, he grabbed onto one of the wheels and changed back to human.]
Dracula: Okay. Okay, I must do this.
[He slips off the wheel, changes into a bat, and holds onto the window.]
Bat Dracula: Jonathan! Jonathan, can you hear me?! 
[He sees a Twilight movie on the plane.]
Edward: (on screen) Tell me, do you dream of being a vampire?
Bat Dracula: (unimpressed) This is how we're represented. Unbelievable. (calls out to Johnny) Jonathan! Jonathan, can you hear me?!
Jonathan: [notices] Whoa, bat! Wait, it's talking. Dracula, is that you?
Bat Dracula: [mouthing from the other side] I am sorry!
Jonathan: Huh? Dracula-- [on Dracula's side] I can't understand you!
Bat Dracula: What, "my hand's in a tan shoe"?
Jonathan: [on his side] What, "japan's eating lamb stew"? [Dracula slumps his shoulders and makes an irritated look. This isn't working] Hey, do you know you're smoking?
[Dracula flies into the plane's windshield to make an announcement for Jonathan.]
Pilot: What the heck? How'd a bat get up this high? Folks, I'm gonna turn on the seat belt sign just a precaution while we- [Dracula uses his magic powers to tell the pilot that he wants to take over his voice] While we hear a special announcement for my dear friend Jonathan.
Jonathan: Dracula?
Pilot (Dracula): My dear boy, I have made a terrible mistake. I was trying to keep my baby to myself, because I knew I would always protect her... but I realize now children need to discover things for themselves. They'll stumble and fall, laugh and cry, but such is life. The truth is... you and Mavis are meant to be. You zinged! If she must give her trust to someone else, I'm thankful that it is you, Jonathan. I hope you can hear me, and forgive me.
Plane Crowd: [sees Dracula in bat form outside the window] Ahhhhh! 
[Jonathan sees Dracula outside the window also, and gives him a smile and a thumbs up to show his acceptance of Dracula's apology; Dracula smiles also]
Pilot [Dracula]: [still manipulated by Dracula] Okay, folks, we're going to make a quick turnaround to... refuel, and then we will be back on our way. [the crowd groans angrily] Quit your whining! I'm burning up out here!
[And so, the plane starts turning around. Back at the hotel, Dracula crash-lands into Mavis’ bedroom.]
Mavis: Dad? 
Dracula: (groans) I’m fine. I’m just a little sunburnt. Honey, I always thought the worst thing ever would be seeing you go. But the worst is seeing you unhappy. Mavey, I want you to live your life.
Mavis: (sighs) I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that.
Dracula: You know, Mommy already gave you her birthday present. Can I now give you mine? [shows Mavis a black and pink backpack with the hotel's logo on it]
Mavis: [confused] What do I need this for?
Dracula: Oh, it comes with an accessory. [turns the backpack and reveals a smiling Jonathan]
Mavis: [shocked] You?
Jonathan: [lovingly] You.
Mavis: Why are you back?
Jonathan: 'Cause you're my zing, Mavis.
Mavis: [surprised] I'm your zing? But... you told me you hate monsters.
Jonathan: Yeah, well, I was afraid your dad was going to suck all the blood out of my body if I didn't say that.
Dracula: [laughs nervously] I wouldn't have! I– [defeated] No, he's right, I would've done that...
Mavis: Dad!
Dracula: I was wrong, Devil-chops.
Mavis: Do you really mean it, Dad?
Dracula: Go make your own paradise.
Jonathan: Can we try that kiss over again?
Mavis: [giggles] I think we can.
[Mavis and Jonathan lean to kiss but are interrupted by Dracula snarling with his monster face and the two blankly stare at him]
Dracula: [looking embarrassed] Sorry! I– I just... I gotta get used to that. Now go. Do... do your thing. [hastily leaves as Mavis and Jonathan make their best kiss]
[Later, after they kiss, everyone applauds as fireflies now spell out “Happy Birthday, Mavis.”]
Quasimodo: (still frozen as the wolf pups lick him) Stop! Stop!
[Soon, there was a big concert, now with Johnny.]
Johnny: (rapping) l thought l found a love, but she was just a fling. And then l met a girl and felt a different thing. lt's like you're hit in the ring. Like you're pulled by a string. Can't breathe like you're choking on a chicken wing. lt was a thing called a Zing and l wanted to sing, and Iisten to baIIads of the man named Sting. Lady looks in your eyes and it's suddenly spring like when NaIa Iooked at Simba in The Lion King.
Murray: (singing) Zinging in the air and I don't have a care. l'm winging from the Zing that we shared.
Mavis: (singing) Zinging in the rain, now l'm feeling no pain. lt's a real time for celebrating 'cause you're my Zing.
[Dracula was flying by table to go onstage.]
Johnny: Drac, you ready to throw down? 
Dracula: No, no, I just came closer to hear you better.
Johnny: Come on, just give it a try.
Dracula: All right, maybe just a little. (raps) So, listen all you Zingers from here to Beijing, you better crash the box spring. Get ready to cling ‘cause if love was money you’d be yellin' cha-ching. Next to a Zing, Cupid’s arrow’s a little bee sting. It was a Zing and a zang and a zingidy-dee. And there was only one lady in the Zing for me. ‘Cause when you’re dinged by the Zing, you better know one thing. The only bling you gonna sling is a wedding ring.
Murray and Mavis: (singing) Zinging in the air… (they were now frozen by Drac) 
Dracula: (sings) Now I don’t have a care. I’m wingin' from the Zing that we shared. Zinging in the rain. Now I’m feelin' no pain. 
Murray and Mavis: (become unfrozen by Drac; singing) lt's a real time for celebrating 'cause you're my Zing. 
Dracula: (rapping) Feel the Zing, y'all Ba-da-bing, y'all. Gonna knock you right out of that ring, y'all. Better bring, y'all Happening, y'all. Pay attention to the undead king, y’all. 
[Soon, they were flying on the tables as the hotel celebrates a new beginning. Roll credits.] 
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