Suicide King

Suicide King is the 11th episode of Season 2 of Basket Sponge.
It is the 32nd overall episode of the series.
==Plot==
After LeBron is captured and taken away (in the previous episode), the team travels to the surface to get their coach back!
==Story==
Following the events of Underwater Goodbye
Larry: To the surface, everyone! LeBron needs our help!
SpongeBob: But how do we know where they've taken him?
[A random silhouette of a person appears on screen]
Squidward: Who are you?
Silhouette: One of the writers. 
SpongeBob: Great! Can you tell us where they took him?
Silhouette: To Cleveland.
Larry: Oh. Duh! (facepalm)
Silhouette: Glad I could help!
Larry: (punches him in the face) Let's go, team!
[On a boat to Cleveland, LeBron is currently captured by an FBI Agent named Justin]]
Justin: Mwahahah. Wait till the world discovers what a hero I am.
LeBron: You're not a hero, Beiber!
Justin: Stop calling me that! Or you'll have to walk the plank!
LeBron: Great! Can I do it? Please?
Justin: Wait....that'd be letting you escape to Bikini Bottom. Never mind!
LeBron: Awww.....
Justin: (yells to the driver) Hey! Can you speed this thing up?
Boat Driver: Nah, man.
Justin: (shoves him overboard) Outta my way! I'm impatient! (begins driving the boat) 
[The boat driver sinks below the ocean]
Larry: (swimming towards the surface) Hey, look! A dude!
Boat Driver: Howdy.
Krabs: Have you seen a boat with a loser who captured our coach?
Boat Driver: I just got thrown off that boat, actually. It's heading southeast.
Squidward: Thanks.
Larry: Let's get 'em, team!
[The team keeps going]
Boat Driver: You're welcome......just leave me here..........underwater.......(dies)
[The team soon arrives at a beach in Cleveland]
Larry: We're here!
Squidward: Everyone, don't forget to wear these water tanks on your head.
Patrick: Awwh, now I can't make out with Lexi!
Lexi: This is terrible!
Krabs: Just make out with the glass, and pretend it's Lexi.
Patrick: Works for me!
Krabs: Whatever.
Plankton: This water tank is bigger than my whole body! (hops inside the tank) Augh! I can't get out!
Larry: Great, we'll leave you behind. Come on, team. (everyone else continues)
Plankton: No! You can't leave me here on the beach with all these young humans!
Little Boy: Look mommy, a little tank of water with a piece of poop in it!
Plankton: A piece of poop? How rude! I am not!
Mother: Son, that's disgusting. Go take it to the house and flush it down the toilet.
Plankton: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
MEANWHILE
[LeBron has been taken to a top secret facility owned by Justin; he is locked up in a highly concealed room, with metal bars and no means of escape; the whole place is guarded by security officers]
LeBron: Why are you leaving me here?
Justin: So you don't try to pull any funny business.
LeBron: Me? Funny business? Yeah, right, dawg.
Justin: What's that in your pocket?
LeBron: Nothing...
Justin: (pulls it out of his pocket) Ahahhh! I've been running low on these. (starts smoking it)
LeBron: (sigh) That was my last one. You monster!
Justin: I try. Now have a good day. I'll be announcing to the public that I have the beloved LeBron James. 
LeBron: You wouldn't dare!
Justin: Oh, yes I would. In fact, I think I'll call the coach of the Cleveland Calaviers right now! Catch ya later! (he exits)
LeBron: Grrr.....
[Larry, SpongeBob, Patrick, Lexi, Squidward, and Krabs arrive outside of the concealed facility]
Larry: I've tracked them down to this location!
Krabs: How?
Larry: Have you ever smelled the stuff he smokes? It's strong!
Squidward: Well how are we gonna save him??? 
Larry: We gotta bust up in there!
SpongeBob: How! The place is loaded with security guards! 
Larry: We strike, tonight!
[That night, at about midnight]
Patrick: (sleeptalking) Lexi.......mmmmmm.......sexy Lexi......
Lexi: (sleeptalking) Patrick......yummmmy......
[Patrick rolls over on Lexi]
Larry: (still awake) I hope that was an accident...
SpongeBob: (also awake) Let's pretend so.
Krabs: Looks like we're the only 3 awake! Ready to strike, boys?
[Larry and SpongeBob look at eachother for a few seconds and then nodd]
Larry: (knocks out Mr. Krabs with a crow bar) There we go!
SpongeBob: He's out like a light!
Larry: Let's go, SpongeBob!
[Larry and SpongeBob sneak towards the building]
SpongeBob: (whispers) How are we gonna get past the guards?
Larry: I have a crow bar.
SpongeBob: I think you'll get shot, bro.
Larry: Okay, new plan....
[The two nerdy-looking security guards are playing Go Fish with a deck of cards]
Edison: Fun fact. The king of hearts is dubbed “The Suicide King” because it appears to have a dagger going through its head.
Philbert: (snot rolls down his nose) Fun fact. The new Star Wars movie comes out this year.
Edison: OMG! I'm so pumped for Batman vs Superman!
Philbert: Me too!
Larry: (knocks both of them out with one swing of a crow bar)
SpongeBob: I thought you said 'new plan'!
Larry: Yeah, but they were annoying the hell out of me.
SpongeBob: Well use that baby and let's get inside!
Larry: (opens the door with the crow bar)
[An alarm system sounds]
Larry: (pounds the alarm with the crow bar; the alarm sound stops)
SpongeBob: Wow.....that is one useful crow bar.
Larry: Just watch me.
[A bunch of troops come running towards Larry]
Larry: (he wacks each one of the with his crow bar, until they're all piled up into an unconscious mountain) Ta-da!
SpongeBob: Bravo!
Larry: Now let's go find LeBron!
Justin: (approaching them slowly) Well, well, well. If it isn't the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs.
Larry: Grrrr......
SpongeBob: You're the one who capture LeBron!
Justin: Smart kid. It just so happens, you're not getting your coach back.
Larry: You're going DOWN!!!! (charges at him with the crow bar)
Justin: (kicks Larry in the balls, takes the crow bar, and knocks him out unconscious)
SpongeBob: Larry! Nooo!!!!
Justin: (hits SpongeBob's balls with the crow bar)
SpongeBob: AHHHHH!!!!!!
Justin: You two wanna mess with me, eh? 
[He drags Larry and SpongeBob to LeBron's cell, and throws them inside]
Justin: This will teach you a lesson. (leaves) 
[Larry, SpongeBob and LeBron are alone in the cell]
SpongeBob: Coach! (hugs him)
LeBron: Yes, it's me.
SpongeBob: We found you because Larry could smell your smoke!
LeBron: What?! (starts sweating) How'd you know about that....
Larry: (regains consciousness) Ugh, what happened.....
SpongeBob: They got us. And they took your crow bar!
Larry: NOOOOO!!!! That crow bar was BAE!!!!!
LeBron: Nice going, geniuses. They got you!
Larry: Hey, listen, YOU'RE the one who got yourself captured!
LeBron: Because I moved to Bikini Bottom to coach YOUR basketball team!
SpongeBob: Guys, now's not the time to be fighting!
Larry: (sigh) You're right. Now what do we do?
SpongeBob: What about the others?
Larry: Oh, right! I'll call them!
SpongeBob: The only one who has a cell phone is Mr. Krabs....
Larry: I'm callin' him!
[We see Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, and Lexi asleep outside the building]
Patrick: (cuddling with Lexi)
Squidward: (sucking his thumb ...er, tentacle)
Krabs: (lying on the ground; his phone vibrates in his paints) Tee-hee, oh, Mrs. Puff.....that tickles. (continues sleeping)
[Inside the cell]
Larry: No answer......grrrrrrrrr, that numbskull!!!!!!
SpongeBob: Welp, that didn't work.
LeBron: Any other bright ideas, guys?
Larry: I gotta take a killer dump. Brb. 
[He walks over to the small toilet in the corner of the cell]
Larry: (opens the lid)
[Plankton appears in the toilet]
Plankton: (pant, pant) WHAT HAPPENED????
LeBron: You popped up in the toilet....
Plankton: All I remember is some little kid......and.....he flushed me down his toilet....
Larry: Well you came up in our toilet, bub. And I'm gonna crap on you.
Plankton: (jumps out the toilet)
SpongeBob: Guys, can't you see? This is good news!
Plankton: How is Larry crapping on me good news?
SpongeBob: You're so small, you can fit through the bars!
Plankton: Hmm, that'll actually work. (hops through the bars) Now what?
SpongeBob: Steal those keys!
[A sleeping security guard is in the room, with keys hanging from his belt]
Plankton: Classic scenario. (tiptoes dramatically over towards the securtiy guard; pulls out a bazooka and blows his head off) There we go! Let's get those keys....and....done!
LeBron: We're free!
Larry: Yeah!
SpongeBob: Alright! 
[The three of them run towards the exit, completely trampling Plankton and leaving him behind]
Plankton: (crushed) Oww.....okay....you're welcome.....I'll be here.
[Larry, SpongeBob, and LeBron run towards the building exit]
Justin: (stands in front of the door) Well, well, well. You managed to escape past my top security.
LeBron: Dude, it was a fat sleeping security guard.
Larry: And his head's been blown off.
Justin: Interesting. (holds up a gun at them) Because so are YOUR heads....
SpongeBob: (gulp)
Justin: I was going to spare your worthless lives....but, ya know, whatever.....
[Edison & Philbert sneek up behind Justin; Edison smashes Justin in the back of the head with Larry's crow bar; Philbert throws Justin's body in the garbage can]
LeBron: Wow, thanks guys!
Edison: No problem!
Philbert: Yeah! I scientistic calculations were precise!
Larry: Oh, bull crap. (takes his crow bar back and smashes both of them in the head)
LeBron: That's better. 
SpongeBob: Let's go back to Bikini Bottom, guys!
[The gang returns home to Bikini Bottom]
LeBron: Team, I wanted to thank you for all the hard work you put into saving me.
Everyone: (smiles)
LeBron: Larry, I applaud you for showing excellent leadership skills.
Larry: No problem, coach!
LeBron: SpongeBob, you displayed tremendous character during the whole shabang.
SpongeBob: Awww, thanks, coach!
LeBron: Plankton, good job being small enough to fit through bars! ….and a toilet!
Plankton: (in a body cast) No problem......(falls over)
LeBron: And the rest of you are douchebags because you slept the whole freaking time outside the building!
Squidward: Yep.
Krabs: It's what I do.
Lexi: Well, you see-
Patrick: (grabs her face, starts making out with her)
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Category:Basket Sponge
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