Phoebe's songs

This is a list of Phoebe Buffay's songs in Friends. Her songs are mostly known for their odd lyrics and random themes.
== Smelly Cat ==
: Smelly cat, Smelly Cat,
: What are they feeding you?
: Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
: It's not your fault!
: They won't take you to the vet,
: You're obviously not their favorite pet,
: You may not smell like roses,
: You're no friend to those with noses!
==Sticky Shoes==
This song appears in "The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner". It was co-written by Phoebe and her former singing partner, Leslie.
: My favorite shoes, so good to me,
: I wear them every day.
: Down at the heel, holes in the toes,
: Don't care what people say.
: My feet's best friend, pals to the end,
: With them I'm one hot chicky,
: Though late one night,
: Not much light,
: I stepped in something icky!
: Sticky Shoes, Sticky Shoes,
: Always make me smile
: Sticky Shoes, Sticky Shoes,
: Next time I'll...
: Avoid the...
: Pile!
==Christmas Song==
: Went to the store,
: Sat on Santa's lap,
: Asked him to bring my friends
: All kinds of crap.
: Santa, all you need is to write them a song.
: Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along,
: No, don't sing along...
: Monica, Monica,
: Have a Happy Hanukkah
: Saw Santa Claus,
: He said hello to Ross.
: And please tell Joey,
: Christmas will be snowy!!
: And Rachel and Chandler,
: (mumbles something) handler!"
==Snowman / Mother Suicide Song==
: I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin',
: How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?...
: (Advert break)
: ...my mother's ashes,
: even her eyelashes,
: are resting in a little, yellow jar.
: Sometimes when its freezing,
: I feel a little sneezy.
: And-(see below)
This song was the one being sung when David interrupted, resulting in the abrupt mid sentence ending.
==Two of Them Kissed Last Night==
: There was a girl, we'll call her Betty,
: And a guy, let's call him Neil.
: Now, I can't stress this point too strongly,
: This story isn't real.
: Now our Neil must decide
: Who will be the girl that he casts aside
: Will Betty be the one who he loves truly?
: Or will it be the one who we'll call Loolie?
: He must decide, he must decide,
: Even though I made him up, he must decide...
==Brief Songs==
The following songs were brief, either because they were not shown in full, or Phoebe wrote them short.
===The First Song===
: Love is sweet as summer showers
: Love is a wondrous work of art
: But your love, oh your love, your love...
: Is like a giant pidgeon...
: Crapping on my heart
: Lalalalalalalala
: Ooooh
===Blackout Song===
: New York City has no power
: And the milk is getting sour
: But to me it is not scary
: 'Cause I stay away from dairy
===The Woman Smelt Like Garbage===
: It wasn't just that she was fat
: The woman smelt like garbage!
===Little Fetus===
: Are you in there, little fetus?
: In nine months, will you come greet us?
: I...will...buy you some Adidas...
===Little Black Curly Hair===
: I found you in my bed!
: How'd you wind up there?
: You are a mystery!
: Little black curly hair!
: Little black curly hair!
: Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
===	Shower Song===
: I'm in the shower, and i'm writing a song,
: Stop me if you've heard it,
: My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
: And tegrin, spelt backwards, is nirget.
: (instrumental)
: Lather, rinse, repeat
: And lather, rinse, repeat
: And lather, rinse, repeat
: As needed
: La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
===Jingle Bitch===
: Jingle bitch screwed me over!!
: Go to Hell Jingle whore!
: Go to Hell! (3X)
===Babies===
: They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
: Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
: Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
: And you cry and you cry and you cry
: And you cry and you cry...
===Parading Goats===
: Parading goats are parading,
: Parading down the street.
: Parading goats are parading,
: Leaving little treats.
===Argentina Song===
: And there's a country called Argentina
: It's a place I've never seen
: But I'm told for fifty pesos
: You can buy a human spleeeeen
: Human spleen!
: Olé!
===Crusty Old Man===
: And the crusty old man
: Said I'll do what I can 
: And the rest of the rats played Maracas!
===Singing at the Wedding===
: Whenever I get get married
: Guess who won't be asked to sing
: Somebody named Geller
: And somebody else named Bing!
===Things you don't wanna do===
:There'll be times when you get older
:when you'll want to sleep with people
:just to make them like you...
:But don't.
:Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody
:That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
===Cow in the Meadow goes moo===
: The cow in the meadow goes moo
: The cow in the meadow goes moo
: The farmer hits him on the head, and grinds him up
: And that's how we get hamburgers
: Now chickens!...
===Grandma===
: Now grandmas a person that everyone likes
: She brought you a train and a bright shinny bike
: But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
: And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner
: Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru
: But the truth is she died and someday you will too
: Lalalala lalalala
===Kidding themselves===
: Sometimes men love women
: And sometimes men love men
: Then there are some bisexuals
: Though some just say they're kidding themselves
=== Colors of my bedroom ===
: And fuschia and mauve
: Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom
=== Stephanie ===
: Stephanie knows all the chords...
=== Terry's a Jerk ===
: Terry's A jerk!
: And he won't let me work!
: And I hate Central Perk!
: [A break in the song]
: And you're all invited to bite me!
Category:Songs
Category:Phoebe Buffay