Patty Comes to Town

==Characters==
Nat PetersonSadie RechidPatty Rechid (debut)ShubieSusieFredBaby Rechid
==Transcript ==
(Scene cuts to Sadie sitting at a table in a restaurant) Sadie looks at her watch.
Sadie: "Where is she? She told me she'd be here by now." Patty Rechid walks into the restaurant and over to Sadie.
Patty: "Sorry I'm late! I just had to finish selling a house for a million dollars. So how's my middle sister doing?"
Sadie: "Great. It's so nice to see you again after so long."
Patty: "I know! I wish we could see each other more often. I'm glad I finally racked up enough vacation days to take a full week off. So how are things going with Frank?"
Sadie: "I divorced Frank a few years ago."
Patty: "Oh really? Why? You just didn't love him anymore?"
Sadie: "No Frank's a great guy, but he just wasn't doing it for me. Plus, we didn't have any children together. I'm married to Fred now. It's not because I find him very attractive, but because he..."
Patty: "Has a lot of money! Oh Sadie, you are such a Rechid!" Patty and Sadie laugh.
Sadie: "Thanks."
Patty: "So, are you still working as a nurse?"
Sadie: "No, I stopped doing that a few months ago. I own a dessert shop now."
Patty: "Oh really? Well that's great! If I ever quit being a real estate agent, I'd probably open a dessert store too!" Patty and Sadie laugh.
(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie and Susie in Shubie's boat) Shubie parks her boat in the parking lot in front of the restaurant.
Susie: "Thanks for ordering takeout tonight, Mom."
Shubie: "You're welcome, Susie! I've been meaning to try out this new restaurant."
Nat: "I can't wait to try it! When did they say the food will be ready?" Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "It should be ready now. Would you mind getting it, Nat?"
(Scene cuts back to Sadie and Patty at the restaurant) Nat walks into the restaurant.
Nat: "Hello! I'm here to pick up an order for takeout." 
Sadie: "Is that Nat getting takeout? Shubie must've not felt like making dinner tonight. She's so lazy." Sadie laughs. Patty looks over and sees Nat.
Patty: "Oh my gosh! Is that Nat Peterson? It's been ages since I last saw him. He was always the most handsome guy in high school."
Sadie: "Yep that's him. He works with me at my dessert shop."
Patty: "You work with Nat?! You must be cheating on Fred with him, aren't you?" Sadie sighs.
Sadie: "No, unfortunately not."
Patty: "Oh. He's still married to Shubie?"
Sadie: "No, he's single. Him and Shubie separated a few years ago."
Patty: "Shubie and Nat separated?! I can't believe she let him go! Well if Nat's back on the open market, I might as well try to get him to go on a date with me. I'll be right back." Patty gets up and walk over towards Nat. Sadie laughs.
Sadie: "Patty going on a date with Nat? In her dreams! I've been trying convince Nat to go out with me for years! There's no way Nat would go on a date with her!" Sadie takes a sip of her drink. Patty walks back over to the table.
Patty: "Guess who has a date with Nat Peterson tomorrow?" Sadie spits out her drink.
Sadie: "What?! How did you get him to go out with you?"
Patty: "I just asked him if he wanted to go to ice skating tomorrow night and he said yes!" Sadie's eye starts twitching. Sadie smiles angrily.
Sadie: "Oh, I'm so happy for you!"
Patty: "Thanks!"
Sadie (murmurs): "And I'll be even happier when I completely sabotage that date!"
Patty: "What was that?"
Sadie: "I was just saying that you two would be a great couple!" Patty smiles.
(Scene cuts to Sadie at the ice rink) Patty and Nat walk onto the ice.
Sadie: "There they are and they're coming this way! It's time to ruin that date!" Patty and Nat skate past Sadie. Sadie pulls a scarf over her face and skates behind them.
Patty: "Oh Nat, I'm having a wonderful time." Sadie is about to push Nat, but stops herself.
Sadie: "I can't hurt Nat, but I can hurt Patty!" Sadie bumps into Patty causing her to fall onto the ground. Patty screams.
Nat: "Patty! Are you okay? What happened?"
Patty: "I can't get up! I twisted my ankle!"
Nat: "It's alright, Patty. I've got you." Nat picks up Patty and carries her off the ice.
Patty: "Oh Nat, thank you so much! It was so kind of you to help me off the ice."
Nat: "No problem, Patty."
Sadie: "Barnacles!"
(Scene cuts to Sadie eating at the Krusty Krab) Nat and Patty walk in.
Nat: "Where would you like to sit, Patty?" Patty points at a table.
Patty: "That table looks nice." Patty and Nat walk up to order their food.
Sadie: "Oh no, they're on another date?! Time to ruin this once and for all!" Sadie grabs the ketchup bottle from Nat and Patty's table and empties all of the ketchup into the trash before putting the bottle back. Nat and Patty sit down. Patty tries to put ketchup on her burger but nothing comes out of the bottle.
Patty: "That's odd. The bottle's empty. I'll go get some ketchup." Patty gets up and gets some ketchup for her patty.
Sadie: "Now for phase two of my plan!" Sadie squirts some tartar sauce onto the floor. Patty walks back towards the table and slips on the tarter sauce.
Patty: "Woah!" Patty's Krabby Patty fliesout of her hand and hits Nat.
Nat: "Patty, are you alright?"
Patty: "Oh my gosh! Nat, I'm so..." Patty starts laughing.
Nat: "What is it, Patty?"
Patty: "The ketchup from my burger made a smiley face on your face!" Nat laughs and throws his patty at Patty who laughs too.
Sadie: "Darn it!" Sadie gets up and begins to walk away. Patty notices Sadie leaving.
Patty: "Oh hi Sadie! I didn't know that you were here. Nat and I were just wondering earlier if you and Fred wanted to go bowling with us tonight." Sadie turns around.
Sadie: "Sure, that would be great!" Sadie walks away.
Nat: "Awesome! See you tonight!"
Sadie: "Bye Nat! And when Nat sees that I'm a way better bowler than Patty, he'll definitely dump her for me!" Sadie laughs evilly.
(Scene cuts to Sadie, Patty, Nat and Fred at the bowling alley)
Fred: "What do you want the teams to be?"
Sadie: "How about me and Nat against Patty and Fred?"
Patty: "Why don't we just do Nat and I versus you and Fred?"
Nat: "Yeah, I think those teams would be better." Sadie sighs angrily.
(Scene cuts to Nat and Patty crushing Sadie and Fred during the game) Nat high fives Patty.
Nat: "Wow Patty! I never knew you were such a good bowler!"
Patty: "Yeah I started playing a few months ago as a hobby. It's too bad I only hit nine pins on my last try or I would've had a perfect game." Sadie angrily throws her ball which lands on Fred's foot.
Fred: "My leg!"
(Scene cuts to Sadie pushing her baby in a baby carriage in the mall) Sadie sighs.
Sadie: "I can't believe I have to go get baby food now since Fred's in the hospital. Unbelievable!"
Patty: "Oh Nat, you're so funny!"
Sadie: "Is that Patty?" Sadie looks over and sees Patty and Nat eating ice cream at a table outside of an ice cream store.
Sadie: "I can't believe this! I should be the one sitting with Nat, not Patty! Patty always ruins everything for me! My whole life she's been better than me! She always got better grades! she was always better at sports! And she was a little more popular than me in high school too! She always made more money as the top real estate agent in Bikini Bottom than I ever did as a nurse! And now she's trying to take my future husband away from me?! Well not anymore!"
Nat: "Patty, I haven't had this much fun on a date in years."
Patty: "Me too." Nat and Patty lean towards each other and are about to kiss.
Sadie: "Nooooo!" Nat and Patty stop and look at Sadie strangely.
Patty: "Sadie?"
Sadie: "Um… My baby just had an accident! Now I have to go change her! Oh noooo!" Nat looks at his watch.
Nat: "Well I'd better get going. I promised Susie I'd go to her baseball game. See you later tonight, Patty." Nat gets up and walks away.
Patty: "Sadie! Nat and I were just about to have our first kiss! You ruined the moment!"
Sadie: "Oh really? I'm so sorry! I had no idea! And as an apology, why don't I take you to my favorite restaurant tonight? My treat!"
Patty: "Really? That would be great but Nat and I already have plans to see a movie at Reef Cinema."
Sadie: "Not to worry! We'll be done eating long before your date. I'll even book us a reservation right now to make sure we won't get stuck in a line."
Patty: "Okay. Thanks Sadie!"
(Scene cuts to Patty walking into the Chum Bucket) Patty looks around.
Patty: "The Chum Bucket? Is this really Sadie's favorite restaurant? Boy, the food must be really good here." Sadie waves at Patty.
Sadie: "Patty! Come over here!" Patty sits at a table with Sadie, and picks up a menu.
Patty: "Let's see, what do you think I should get here?" Sadie takes Patty's menu.
Sadie: "Oh, don't worry. I already ordered my favorite for us."
Patty: "Oh okay." Sadie pulls out a plate full of chum sticks.
Sadie: "I can feel my stomach growling already!" Patty smells the food.
Patty: "Are you sure this is fresh? It smells kind of funky."
Sadie: "Oh, it always smell bad. It's one of those foods that smell a little weird, but taste amazing!"
Patty: "Oh okay." Sadie takes a chum stick and pretends to eat it. Patty picks up a chum stick and takes a bite out of it.
Sadie: "Isn't it delicious?" Patty swallows
Patty: "Oh yeah, it definitely has a unique flavor!" Patty gags.
Sadie: "Well come on then! I'm not going to be able to finish all twenty of these myself!" Sadie takes out another tray full of chum sticks.
Patty: "Twenty?!"
Sadie: "Is that a problem? I thought you said you loved these." Sadie frowns.
Patty: "No it's no problem! They taste great!"
Sadie: "Great!" Sadie pretends to eat a few chum sticks while Patty forces herself to eat the rest.
(Scene cuts to Sadie and Patty after they've finished eating)
Sadie: "Wasn't that great? I could eat a hundred of those!"
Patty: "Oh yeah, that was a lovely meal. I'm so glad you showed me this fantastic restaurant! We'll have to come again sometime." Patty gags.
Sadie: "You're welcome! I'd do anything for my older sister!" Patty looks at her watch.
Patty: "Well I'd better get going. I don't want to be late for the movie."
Sadie: "Have fun!"
(Scene cuts to Patty sitting very uncomfortably at the Reef Cinema) Patty's stomach rumbles.
Patty: "Oh, where's Nat? I can't hold it anymore!" Patty runs into the bathroom. Sadie emerges from behind the door. Sadie closes the door and locks it.
Sadie: "Well it looks like the real Patty won't be able to go to the movies tonight but this Patty will!" Sadie dumps a bucket of purple paint over herself and puts on a green sweater. Nat walks into the movie theater but can't find Patty.
Nat: "Where's Patty? She said she was already sitting down." Sadie looks at her watch.
Sadie: "The movie's starting soon. Where's Nat? Oh there he is!" Sadie walks over to Nat.
Nat: "Oh hi Patty! There you are."
Sadie: "Patty? My name's not… I mean, yep! That's me! Patty Rechid! Sorry I'm late Nat. I was just getting some popcorn."
Nat: "It's okay. Why don't we have a seat over there?" Nat and Sadie sit down. The movie starts playing. Sadie looks at the screen and sighs.
Sadie: "I've already seen this movie."
Nat: "What? I thought you said that you were really excited to see this movie for the first time."
Sadie: "Uh... Oh yeah! Sorry, I was just getting this movie confused with another one with the same actors in it. Would you like some popcorn, Nat?" Sadie passes Nat her popcorn bag. Nat grabs some popcorn out of the bag. Sadie reaches in to get some at the same time so that their hands touch.
Nat: "Ah! Why is your hand so sticky? Is this paint?" Nat smells the paint on his hand.
Sadie: "No! It's probably just butter. The stupid guy at the convenience stand must've put too much on."
(Scene cuts to Patty getting out of a stall in the bathroom) Patty tries to open the door but can't.
Patty: "Barnacles! The doors locked! How am I going to get out of here?" Patty looks around and sees an open window over the trash can.
Patty: "Well you know what they say, desperate times call for desperate measures." Patty begins to climb the trash can.
(Scene cuts to the movie where a pregnant lady is giving birth in a hospital)
Sadie: "Ah, this reminds me of giving birth to my first child."
Nat: "What? You have kids?"
Sadie: "Oh! Um… I meant to say that this reminds me of my sister, Sadie, when she gave birth to her first child."
(Scene cuts to Patty walking down the aisle of the theater)
Patty: "Sorry I'm late Nat. You won't believe what happened to me while I was in the bathroom!" Patty sees Sadie.
Patty: "Who is this?!"
Sadie: "How did you get out? I mean, who are you? And why are you impersonating me?"
Nat: "What's going on? How can I tell who's the real Patty?" Patty points at Sadie's sweater.
Patty: "We're wearing different shirts! We're even wearing different watches!" Patty points at her watch and then at Sadie's.
People in the theater: "Shhh..."
Patty: "We'd better take this outside." Patty grabs Sadie and leads her toward the exit. Patty notices that Nat is still in his seat.
Patty: "You're not coming, dear?"
Nat: "No, this movie's way too good to miss!" Patty shrugs. Patty and Sadie leave the theater and walk into the lobby. Patty pushes Sadie against a wall.
Patty: "Who are you?" Patty looks at Sadie's watch.
Patty: "Wait a minute, I recognize that watch. It's... Sadie! Oh my gosh, Sadie! I'm so sorry!"
Sadie: "What?!"
Patty: "I had no idea that you liked Nat that much! I thought you just wanted to have an affair with him for a little while and then end it. I'm sorry for stealing him from you."
Sadie: "No Patty, you don't need to apologize. It's all my fault actually. You see, I've been trying to break you and Nat up all week because I've always been jealous of you and your perfect life."
Patty: "Really? This whole time I've been jealous of your life, Sadie! Being so successful as a real estate agent leaves me with virtually no time to do the things that I want to do. I've never had time to settle down and relax. You get to do that all the time! You've been married twice and still have the time to try and get another man in your life! I want to be able to do that too. I really like Nat but to tell you the truth, I was going to cut him loose anyway when I had to go back to work."
Sadie: "Aw, I never knew how much you cared about me! You're the best older sister ever!" Sadie and Patty hug.
Patty: "And you're the best middle sister. Oh no! You got paint all over my best shirt!" Sadie laughs nervously.
Sadie: "Whoops."
(Scene ends)
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