The New Boat

==Characters==
Nat PetersonShubieSusieDr. ForrestSadie RechidNancy Suzy FishMartha SmithHaroldPilarMabelSmall BillyScooterTina FranSallyBoat SaleswomanBrideBridesmaidsTyler (mentioned)
==Transcript==
(Scene cuts to Nat and Shubie waking up)
Nat: "Good morning, Shubie!" Nat gets out of bed and walks out of the room.
Shubie: "Good morning, Nat." Shubie moves her bed sheets off her which reveals her large stomach.
Shubie: "Oh no, it's getting even worse!" Shubie rolls out of bed and walks into her bathroom. Shubie steps on the scale and moves her stomach out of the way so she can see the number.
Shubie: "I'm getting even heavier!"
(Scene cuts to Shubie walking into the kitchen where Nat and Susie are eating cereal)
Nat: "Hey Shubie, would you like some Kelpo?"
Shubie: "No thanks, sweetie."
Nat: "But Kelpo's your favorite!"
Shubie: "I'm on a diet now, remember?" Shubie grabs an apple and bites into it. Shubie looks out the kitchen window and sees Nancy, Martha and Sadie getting ready for a morning run.
Shubie: "Well, I'm going for a run with the girls. Don't worry though, Nat. I'll be back in time to take Susie to school." Shubie takes another bite out of her apple before throwing it in the trash. Shubie spits out the apple in the sink and then heads out of the house.
(Scene cuts to Nancy, Martha and Sadie standing out in the street) Sadie notices Shubie leaving her house and coming towards them.
Sadie: "Oh no, here comes Shubie. Let's hope she can keep up this time."
Martha: "I know, I was thinking about asking Sally to join us today instead but I didn't because, you know, she hates me since I married her ex-husband." Shubie runs up to them.
Shubie: "Hi girls!"
Nancy: "Hi Shubie. You're looking, um, a little lighter today. Why don't we get started?" The women start running down the street. Shubie starts in the lead and seems to be doing fine. Shubie then starts to get tired and slows down. Soon Nancy passes her and then Sadie. Shubie gets even more exhausted and slows down even more. Martha passes her. 
Shubie: "Martha? But she never passes me! She's the heaviest woman in the neighborhood!" Shubie gets on her hands and knees from exhaustion. Harold and Pilar walk by her.
Pilar: "And to think that she was voted prettiest girl in high school. Oh how times have changed." Harold and Pilar laugh and walk away. 
(Scene cuts to Shubie walking back home from her run) Shubie opens the front door.
Shubie: "Susie! Are you ready for school?"
Susie: "Coming, Mom!" Susie runs downstairs and out the front door. Shubie and Susie get into Shubie's boat. 
Shubie: "Don't forget your seatbelt, Susie." Susie puts on her seatbelt. Shubie struggles to put her seatbelt on. Finally, Shubie is able to put it on. Shubie starts her boat and pulls out of her driveway.
Shubie: "So how's school been, Susie?"
Susie: "It's been great! Yesterday we made macaroni art. I made a picture of you!" Susie pulls the macaroni art out of her backpack and passes it to Shubie in the front seat. Shubie looks at the art and sees that it's a big, fat blob titled My Mom. Shubie sighs.
Shubie: "It's wonderful, dear. I love it!" Shubie puts the art down and continues driving.
Susie: "Hey, Mom?"
Shubie: "Yes, Susie?"
Susie: "Am I going to become as fat as you are when I get older?"
Shubie: "No, Susie. You're not going to be fat when you get older. And soon I won't be anymore either! This fat is only temporary."
Susie: "That's what Tyler said about his mom a few years ago." Shubie gulps. Shubie stops in front of Bikini Bottom Elementary.
Shubie: "Well, we're here! Have fun at school today, Susie!"
Susie: "Bye Mom!" Susie jumps out of the back of Shubie's car and walks into the school. Shubie sees Mabel and Billy walking into school.
Shubie: "Hi, Mabel."
Billy: "Look Mom! It's a fat lady!"
Mabel: "Don't make fun of her, Billy. It's not funny to make fun of those who are physically challenged." Shubie frowns.
(Scene cuts to Shubie driving back home) Shubie pulls into her driveway and sees Nat leaving for work.
Shubie: "Nat, I think I'm going to go see the doctor today. There must be something wrong with me that's making me gain so much weight. It just doesn't make any sense. I eat healthy, I'm always exercising and I haven't been having any bathroom troubles recently. There's got to be some weird medical thing that's making me look this way."
Nat: "That's great that you're going to see a doctor about this, Shubie. Look, I know that you've been really worried about your weight lately and I just want you to know that your weight has not made me stop loving you. I will always be there for you no matter what, Shubie." Nat and Shubie hug.
Shubie: "Aw, Nat. I love you. Have a good day at work, sweetie." Shubie kisses Nat on the cheek. Nat gets in his boat and drives away.
(Scene cuts to Shubie sitting on a bed in the doctor’s office) Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "Where is he? He said that the tests would only take a few minutes." The door opens and Dr. Forrest walks into the room.
Dr. Forrest: "Well Shubie, I just finished looking at the tests and it's just what me and the nurses expected."
Shubie: "I have a glandular problem?" Dr. Forrest laughs.
Dr. Forrest: "No, silly! You're pregnant! Congratulations!"
Shubie: "What?!?! But that's impossible! I can't be pregnant!"
Dr. Forrest: "Well that's not what our tests say! I'd say that you'll be due within the next week or two. It could be any day now."
Shubie: "But me and Nat have only been together for a few months now! We haven't been together for long enough to have a baby!"
Dr. Forrest: "Well are you sure it's his?"
Shubie: "Yes I'm sure! It has to be! Nine months ago was when Nancy hosted that end of the summer party, and after that me and Nat..."
Dr. Forrest: "Well you know Shubie, if you don't want to have the baby there are ways to..."
Shubie: "NO! I'm having this baby! This is my responsibility and it's my job to take care of it, even if Nat might want nothing to do with it. Oh, I hope he meant what he said this morning."
(Scene cuts to Sadie and Nat working at Sadie's Cookies)
Sadie: "Say Nat, have you seen any cookie dough lying around the front desk? I seem to be missing some back here."
Nat: "No, I haven't seen any."
Sadie: "Okay. Maybe Shubie's been sneaking in here and taking it. That would explain why she's been getting so fat lately. Some day she's going to blow up like a balloon!" Sadie laughs. The phone at the front desk rings.
Sadie: "I'll get it!" Sadie walks out of the back and picks up the phone.
Sadie: "Hello, Sadie's Cookies, the cookie store run by the two most attractive fish in Bikini Bottom! How may I help you today? Uh huh, yep, yep, she's what? Oh okay, not a problem." Sadie hangs up the phone.
Sadie: "Nat!"
Nat: "What is it, Sadie?"
Sadie: "A bridal shower just called and asked if we could deliver a dozen boxes of cookies. Do you mind bringing it to them, Nat?"
Nat: "Of course!"
Sadie: "Great!" Sadie hands Nat a dozen boxes of cookies.
Sadie: "I think our hands touched a little when I gave him those boxes! Oh, I'm so lucky to work with that man every day. And once Shubie gets even fatter, Nat will leave her and I'll have him all to myself!"
(Scene cuts to Nat leaving the bridal shower)
Bride: "Bye Nat!"
Nat: "Bye Ladies! Good luck with the wedding!"
Bridesmaid #1: "Oh, he's so handsome!"
Bridesmaid #2: "And charming!" Nat gets in his boat and drives away.
(Scene cuts to Scooter driving a hot rod with Tina-Fran) Scooter drives towards a red light. 
Tina: "Scooter, aren't you gonna stop?" 
Scooter: "Nah. People that stop at red lights are lame." Scooter speeds towards the red light.
(Scene cuts to Nat driving into the same intersection) Nat sees Scooter running through the red light and heading straight towards him.
Nat: "WHAT THE-" Nat swerves his boat away from Scooter's, narrowly avoiding a collision. Nat looks back at Scooter.
Nat: "Phew! That was close!" Nat turns around and sees that his boat is headed straight towards Sally who is pushing her baby in a baby carriage.
Sally: "AAAH!"
Nat: "AAAH!" Nat swerves his boat away from the woman and loses control of the boat. Nat's boat crashes into Scooter's boat. Nat's boat then crashes into a street lamp while Scooter's boat crashes into a building. Nat runs away before his engine explodes, completely destroying the boat. 
Sally: "Phew! That was close!" Sally puts a bottle in her baby's mouth and walks away. Nat pulls out his phone.
Nat: "Sadie, I might not be able to come back to work today."
(Scene cuts to Sadie on the phone at the front desk) Sadie laughs.
Sadie: "Why? Did Shubie sleep on you last night? You know, that could probably kill someone with how heavy she's gotten!"
(Scene cuts back to Nat)
Nat: "No, my boat just got totaled."
(Scene cuts to Shubie sitting in her house)
Shubie: "Oh no, what am I going to tell Nat? He's going to be livid. The baby's due any day now and we haven't planned for any of this! It's going to cost a fortune!" Shubie sees Nat walking up to the front door.
Shubie: "Oh no! Nat's already back from work! What am I going to do? What if he already knows?! Everyone knows that Dr. Forrest loves to gossip. Could he have already told Nat?" Nat opens the floor.
(Scene cuts to Nat walking into his house) 
Nat: "Shubie, I have some terrible news."
Shubie: "Oh no, please don't leave me!"
Nat: "What? I'm not leaving you, Shubie. I was just going to tell you that my boat crashed. I'm going to have to get a new boat."
Shubie: "Oh, okay. I'm so sorry, Nat. That's terrible. But there's something important I need to tell you." 
Nat: "Not now, Shubie. I need to go to the boat dealership and get a new boat." 
Shubie: "But Nat..."
Nat: "Tell me when I get back, Shubie." Nat walks out of the house and closes the door behind him.
(Scene cuts to Nat at the Bikini Bottom boat dealership) 
Saleswoman: "Hello, welcome to the Bikini Bottom boat dealership! How may I help you today?" 
Nat: "I need a new boat. My old one was destroyed earlier today." 
Saleswoman: "Well you've come to the right place. We have old boats, new boats, expensive boats and used boats. How about this white Saden?" The saleswoman points at a white Saden. 
Nat: "Nah, I think I'll get something else." 
Saleswoman: "Ok, can I interest you in a Fjord? They're great in snowy conditions." 
Nat: "No, sorry. I don't need a big vechile." 
Saleswoman: "That's quite all right. How about a Big Murky Water or BMW for short?" 
Nat: "Nope. I think it's out of my price range." (Scene cuts to the saleswoman showing Nat a ton of boats) 
Saleswoman: "An Anchovy? A Land River? A Great Mighty Catfish or GMC for short?" 
Nat: "No, no and sorry, but no." The saleswoman sighs and looks at her watch.
Saleswoman: "Just buy a car already! This is supposed to be my lunch break! You better not keep me here all day! I promised my husband that I'd be making roast beef for him and the kids tonight!" 
Nat: "Hey! What about that one?" Nat points at a boat in the back of the dealership. The saleswoman takes Nat to the back of the dealership. 
Saleswoman: "This one? It's been here forever. I don't even know what company it's made by."
Nat: "I'll take it!"
Saleswoman: "Really? Great! Just sign here, here and here. Oh and initial there so that I'll earn an extra twenty percent from this sale. Have a nice day!" 
(Scene cuts to Shubie sitting inside her house) Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "Oh, what's taking Nat so long? I really need to tell him this." Shubie hears Nat's new boat pulling into their driveway.
Shubie: "Is that him?" Shubie looks at the window and sees Nat getting out of his new boat. Nat walks up to the front door.
Nat: "Shubie, I'm home from the car dealership. I just got a brand new car!" 
Shubie: "That's great, Nat. But there's been something I've been meaning to tell you all day. Nat... I'm pregnant!" 
Nat: "What!?!?"
(Scene ends)
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