Comedy Time: Laugh Your Pants Off! Games and Activities

This is a kids' book published on February 8, 2011 by Hi-Tops Publishing; it contains really goofy games and totally wacky activities inspired by the kids' TV show, "Comedy Time" (filmed on location in Atlanta, Georgia's "Class of 3000 Experience.") Written by Jessica Sager, it won a NAPPA Award for Wildly Wacky Fun. 
== Fill In The Blanks With Funny Words! ==
Jade and Madison host this Mad Lib-style comedy challenge where blanks must be filled in with specific words to complete wacky sentences.
* I farted like a/an (pet) playing a/an (instrument;) excuse me!
* When I threw up, my barf smelled like (colour) (beverage.)
* My family is very special to me because they come from (planet) and they're (colour of the rainbow.)
=== Jade's Examples ===
* I farted like a gerbil playing a pipe organ; excuse me!
* When I threw up, my barf smelled like orange juice.
* My family is very special to me because they come from Mercury and they're violet.
=== Madison's Examples ===
* I farted like a parakeet playing a harp; excuse me!
* When I threw up, my barf smelled like red soda.
* My family is very special to me because they come from Neptune and they're indigo.
== Make Up Your Own Humourless Answers To These Hah-Larious Jokes! ==
Sean and Phillip host this comedy writing challenge where there are a bunch of joke setups and readers must make their own factual, humor-free answers.
=== Sean's Example ===
What did the rug say to the floor? Nothing; rugs don't talk.
=== Phillip's Example ===
What's green and really loud? A buzzing dragonfly.
== Fill In The Blanks With Hilarious Words! ==
Kimberley and Kameron host this Mad Lib-style comedy challenge.
* When I toot, it's just like a (critter) playing on a/an (instrument!)
* I vomited and my (colour) puke was (beverage) scented.
* My really special relatives are (colour) and they come from (planet.)
=== Kim's Examples ===
* When I toot, it's just like a koi fish playing on a bugle!
* I vomited and my pink puke was root beer scented.
* My really special relatives are periwinkle and they come from Pluto.
==== Kam's Examples ====
* When I toot, it's just like a kitty playing on a tuba!
* I vomited and my purple puke was iced tea scented.
* My really special relatives are indigo and they come from Mars.
== The Top Ten Funniest Fart Phrases ==
Here's a list of the top ten funniest things to say after you let one rip!
# "Oopsie-my favourite foods made me do that!"
# "My pet skunk is on the loose again, phewww!"
# "It wasn't me-was that YOU?"
# "My rocket engines have fired!"
# "I'm Captain Tootalot!"
# "I'm proudly powered by 100-percent natural gas!"
# "And that, my friends, is the sound of music!"
# "Roses are red and violets are blue; that's not me, so I blame YOU!"
# "My grandparents' antique furniture is so squeaky!"
# "I blame you 'cause I really let loose when you're around!"
== Self-Inflating Whoopie Cushion Fun ==
You'll need a self-inflating whoopie cushion (the kind that automatically blows itself back up after making someone pretend to fart) for these side-splitting pranks, entertaining activities and playful games!
=== Beans, Beans... ===
Pretend to have a severe gas attack as you chant the age-old rhyming poem about beans; instead of saying the final word, pretend to fart by sitting on the self-inflating whoopie cushion.
=== The Self-Inflating Whoopie Contest ===
Take turns sitting on your self-inflating whoopie cushion after counting down; whoever makes the loudest, most hilarious fart wins! Remember to keep a pad of paper handy as you record each type of fart (named by each sitter) and the number of points it got (from 0 to 10!)
=== I Think I Just Farted! ===
Next time you need to release pressure, pretend to fart by sitting on the self-inflating whoopie cushion and calling out, "I THINK I JUST FARTED!" Your friends will be convinced that you just let one rip!
=== Quick, Open A Window! ===
When all is quiet, pretend to fart by sitting on the self-inflating whoopie cushion and calling out, "QUICK, OPEN A WINDOW!" Your friends will be convinced that you're stinking up the place!
=== Armpit Farts ===
Place your self-inflating whoopie cushion under your arm and activate it for gaseous amusements; ooh, gross!
== Make Up Your Own Humourless Set-Ups To These Outrageous Punch-Lines! ==
Alex and Li'l D host this challenge where there are a bunch of punch-lines and readers must make their own factual, humor-free questions.
== Pretend Poots and Pranks ==
Here are some ways in which you can pretend to fart and even some ha-ha-hilarious pranks to go with them!
=== Edward's Thin-Air Trumpet Toot! ===
Never silent, always deadly! Puff your cheeks out like a chipmunk, place the palms of your hands upon your dimples and then, blow air out your cheeks with great strength; it'll sound just like you really let one rip!
==== Try These Out! ====
* Put your arms in a broken T and then politely ask someone, "Could you please push down my elbows?" When they do, let out a really loud Philly-Mouth-Fart!
* For musical merriment, when you get to a specific part of a favourite song (i.e. the chorus, the final word, etc.) let out a powerful Philly-Mouth-Fart!
* When someone calls out to you, answer them with a mighty mouth fart! (Remember to put your palms on your dimples!)
=== Phillip's Favourite, The Old Hand In The Armpit Fart!" ===
Hook your thumb on your shoulder and pump your elbow with a hand in your underarm for some fantastic tooting noises!
==== Test These Out! ====
* Put your arms in a broken T and then politely ask someone, "Could you please push down my elbows?" When they do, unleash your fiercest armpit farts!
* For musical mirth, when you get to a specific part of a favourite song (i.e. the chorus, the final word, etc.) let out a ferocious armpit fart!
* When someone calls out to you, answer them with an armpit fart.
=== Billy Bill's Strawpit Fart! ===
Blow a straw in your underarm for some seismically gastronomical flatulence noises!
==== Test Out This Strawpit Fart Prank! ====
* Whenever someone enters your house, welcome them with a seismic salute, courtesy of the old straw in the armpit fart!
* When someone calls out to you, answer them with a super strawpit fart!
== Draw and Describe ==
There are so many names for farts, but can you describe their noises regarding imitation, pitch, length and volume? Don't forget to draw a picture for each one!
=== Some Examples ===
* Butt Balloon-A long, low, loud fart that imitates a balloon's deflation. (Balloon drawing)
* Keister Kaboom-A loud and long fart that imitates an explosion (Starburst drawing)
* Butt Boiler-A series of loud and soft farts that imitates bubbles in a cauldron. (Cauldron drawing)
* The Whacky Whoopi-A really loud fart that imitates a whoopi cushion. (Whoopi cushion drawing)
* Bottom Belch-A really loud fart that imitates a huge burp. (Soda can drawing)
* Seat Scream-A really, really loud fart that imitates a scream, always getting attention. (Uvula drawing)
* Egg Salad Bomb-A really loud and long fart that imitates TNT that is always done after eating eggs. (Egg doodles)
* TV Tremor-A noisy fart that imitates static from an old TV. (Bunny-eared TV drawing)
* Posterior Piper-A high fart that imitates flautists in a marching band. (treble and bass clef doodles)
* Heiney Hiccups-A series of staccato farts that imitate an epiglottal seizure. (bubble doodles)
* The Bicycle Squeaker-A series of short, high farts that imitate a rusty bike. (bicycle doodle)
* The Fond Farewell-A long, low and quiet fart that imitates grieving. (Artwork: A frowning face with tears)
== Make A Chart of Farts! ==
For this craft, you'll need a piece of paper, some pens and some washable (not permanent) markers. Firstly, write "CHART OF FARTS" at the top of the page. Anytime you fart, write down the date, your fart's name and its description (what it imitates, the pitch, the volume and the length.) Don't forget to illustrate each one with your best artwork!
== All-Time Classic Whoopie Cushion Fun! ==
Use a straw to inflate an all-time classic whoopie cushion (for prevention of germ spreading) for these fresh and current fart pranks; no booby-trapped chairs here!
=== Blame-A-Buddy! ===
Hide the whoopie cushion in your underarm and then get a friend to sit in between you and another friend; engage in friendly friendship chatter, then squeeze your whoopie cushion and blame the special friend in between by pointing your fingers like a camera and taking an invisible photo.
=== Arcade Escapades! ===
When you're done playing an arcade game, let out a victory toot by squeezing your whoopie cushion barehanded!
=== Hold My Hand! ===
With a mini whoopie cushion in your hand, approach a friend and greet them with a cheery "Hello, (friend's name!)" Stick out your hand, ask your friend to hold it and watch their reaction as your hidden whoopie cushion toots!
== Alien Names ==
Nina and Forrest host this activity; their instructions are as follows:
Take a flower, a colour and a fart type to make up alien names; to make more alien names, take a weather condition, a fruit and "fizzle." Remember to draw and describe your aliens!
=== Nina's Examples ===
* Rose Blue Butt Puff-She's azure and slimy with googly eyes on pipe cleaners.
* Daisy Yellow Jackhammer-She's gold and gooey with tentacles all over herself.
* Crocus Black Destroyer-He's grey and goopy with 2 hairy legs and 6 eyes.
* Hibiscus Red Seismic Blast-She's crimson and squishy with a prickly mohawk.
* Marigold Marigold SBD-She's orange and round with a lion's mane; she travels by rolling and bouncing.
* Periwinkle Periwinkle Poof-She's pale purple and triangular with red stripes; she travels by tilting herself.
* Forget Me Not Indigo Aftershock-She's dark purple and eats swing eighth notes from jazz and blues music.
* Violet Violet Squeaker-She's neon purple and eats straight 8th notes from classic folk music.
* Gazania Chartreuse Long Goodbye-She's yellow-green and likes to call off things.
* Arnica Azure Butt Balloon-He's blue and large; he's also excited about everything!
* Gardenia Vermillion Butt Trumpet-She's red-orange and has self-pride!
* Fuschia Fuschia Butt Bomb-She's hot magenta and eats quarters, halves and wholes from simple piano sheet music.
=== Forrest's Examples ===
* Chilly Cherryfizzle-She's ice blue and scarlet with hairy armpits.
* Snowy Bananafizzle-He's white and yellow with a beautiful baritone singing voice.
* Windy Watermelonfizzle-He's hot pink and baby blue with an exceptional tenor singing voice.
* Breezy Blueberryfizzle-She's cerulean with whoopie cushions in her underarms that she activates when someone takes a bow.
* Cold Snap Coconutfizzle-He's tan (light brown) with 4 legs and shaggy hair, but he's not a dog.
* Fair Dragonfruitfizzle-She's fuschia and yells, "CHOO! CHOO!" like a train whistle when things don't go her way.
* Cold Kiwifizzle-Brown, green, blue and white all over, he's charming and has a lot of facial hair.
* Hot Strawberryfizzle-He's vermillion and spits on whoever's giving him attitude.
* Tornado Tangerinefizzle-He's bright orange and likes to play knock-knock jokes with really young children.
* Typhoon Grapefizzle-He's bright purple and enjoys smelling feet.
* Cyclone Orangefizzle-He's neon orange and thinks that fantasy is greater than reality.
* Sleet Mangofizzle-She's marigold (yellow-orange) and has the power to change mistakes into funny pictures.
* Slush Guavafizzle-He's neon green and enjoys making babies laugh.
* Hot Papayafizzle-It's coral (pinky-red) and it has the power to rewind fantasy cartoons so that the stories are different and new.
* Heatwave Pawpawfizzle-He's grey and loves to sing songs from around the world because they are unforgettably catchy.
* Twister Applefizzle-She's canary yellow and farts as loudly as possible after eating eggs.
== Cheerleader in Slow Mode ==
Normally, cheerleaders would be fast on their feet and fun-loving, but you have to be the opposite in this game! For example, instead of a wacky inventor, pretend to be a humourless scientist explaining quarks to a bunch of high school teens watching daytime TV; another example is pretending to be a mundane evening news reporter rather than a fun kiddie show MC.