Abandon for Apathy/Episode Text

== Episode Text ==
The next morning was rather a strange one. The mirror gave me some sort of reminiscent flow to my appearance for vibe. My rich, silky, brown hair was now dull, my brown eyes of determination had heavy, dark weights carrying it down, my face was paler than ever. I listened to the cries of my face as the mouth opened in weariness.
"What is happening to me?" I said to myself. Instead of remaining, I walked to the executive block door.
"Savoice, I've been drafted for the meeting today," Moderator Hoberzt hit my arm.
"Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?"
"I didn't think about it. We were enjoying ourselves that I didn't even recall it."
"Hmph. How do you forget something like that?"
He shook his head. "I don't take this job as seriously as you think."
I rolled my eyes to him. "Seems not. Let's get breakfast."
"Did you eat the lunch that Dagra gave you yesterday?"
Now that he reminded me of it, I didn't eat it. "Do you want it?"
"She remade it for you, and you still don't want it?"
"It's old now. I forgot to eat it."
"Don't you eat twice a day in Pertan?"
"You mean, 'Did I?' I ate at least three times a day."
"So, you must be hungry. You should eat the lunch she made you. I ate mine already." He walked up to my tall ear. "We're not supposed to be eating lunch, right? This is your chance to defy the rules a little."
I glared at him, and he just did so right back. "I'll eat it." From there, I walked back to my room, as he walked away from me.
"Savoice," Lovopian came into my room as I opened the door, "What are you doing? The 'expression' is within twenty minutes."
"I'm eating my breakfast." The bag was lying on the recliner chair, which said, "Savoice" on it. "Wait..."
"What now? Did something else disappear?"
"That name was not on that bag...or was it?" I tried to remember. I don't remember one being there.
"Your name is Savoice, right?"
"Yes," I glared at him, "But I don't think my own name was written on this bag. Things are getting stranger and stranger around here."
I just plopped down on the recliner and began to eat. For an "old" meal, it still tasted pretty fresh.
"Why weren't you at the meeting yesterday?" Lovopian said. "Everyone was looking for you."
"No, they weren't. They were ready to chop my capacity when I walk in the room. I didn't go because Moderator Hoberzt was talking to me in the cafeteria. Then, I explored the facility a little."
"They didn't hold it against you?"
"I think they will when they figure out. But, I don't care. They can hold it against me as long as they want, because they know that I have power here. It wouldn't last long."
Lovopian swished his mouth over. "But, it can always come back again."
"No, not with me here." The Asalan meat burned with predilected savor of spices burning to the tongue.
"I came here to just let you know that you are becoming like us. So, you might as well get on our level. You're not high, you're not wor--"
"Stop, stop. Where are you getting this anger from?"
"I'm tired of you, Savoice. You're, yeah, an imbecile--like Moderator Ed-Nonon said."
I stood up and pointed at him. "Why are you titling me, you long-eared failure? You've known nothing but sarcasm the whole time I've been here!"
"And I've gotten nothing but insults from you. Your presence is an insult to me."
"An insult?" He obviously has jealousy for me. "So, why would you come before my presence if you are insulted by it?"
"So I can..." He smirked. "So I can humble you."
"What is the matter with you? Your ways are just nonsense."
"You know what? I have seen more changes than you have. Look for yourself. Here before long, you'll be in my grasp." He stormed out with a smile.
"What did I tell you about watching yourself?" I pointed, but he was already out of the room.
I am beginning to think that he is trying to mess me up or something. Every time he comes up to speak with me, there's some comeback or something. Most of all, he's always smiling it off as if it were nothing to him.
If he is the one doing all of these illusion tricks on me or whatever, I have to tell someone about it and get him out of here. But, I have to do it in time. Otherwise, he'll get the best of me and my sanity.
I ran to the executive block again and banged on the door. "Higher Saovice here."
Moderator Xanthub opened the door. "Whading?" He mumbled.
"What did you say?" I said.
"I said, 'What are you doing?'"
"I'm trying to get inside. I guess I can tell you what I think is happening to me."
He leaned against the door. "Talk."
"Lovopian could be trying to sabotage me. Were you there when I was talking to everyone about the painting of Reyonis Platura?"
"Sure was. You think he painted it?"
"Yes."
"Now, how could he do that? Does he have that special ability or something?"
I thought about it. "Maybe. Whatever it was, he kept pointing out to me that I coudn't 'handle' it."
He shook his head. "Or, it could be in your head, again."
"In my head? Is that the best excuse you can come up with?"
Callinaiva walked up behind Moderator Fuge. "What has Saovice gotten into, now?"
"Nothing," I shook my head. "I have figured out the mystery."
"Mnn...the mystery has been resolved..." Callinaiva whispered. "What did Savoice hold to?"
"Hey, all of you, stop blocking the way," Moderator Ghonpherti approached. "I'm going to breakfast."
Moderator Callinaiva and Fuge glared at the purple demander.
"Sorry," Ghonpherti shook his head. "Excuse me." The two blocking Moderators moved out of the way.
"Callinaiva should get to breakfast, too," Callinaiva hissed. "Callinaiva is hungry." He walked past Moderator Fuge to follow Ghonpherti.
"We may as well go with them," I said. "I can just tell you in there."
"I'm not going to breakfast right now," Moderator Fuge smiled. "We'll have to talk later." He closed the executive door, leaving me behind.
But, I was ready to tell someone else. I walked back to my room, grabbed the lunch that I didn't finish that was in the bag, and took it to the cafeteria with me.
In there was most of the Moderators. There was Moderator Ghonpherti putting much vegetables on his plate. Callinaiva didn't even get a plate; he ate the food at the buffet area and ate. Moderator Ed-Nonon was seated beside Moderator Hoberzt.
"Savoice," a female voice snuck up from behind me. "Why are you up so early?"
I turned over to Moderator Elleai. "I'm an early waker. Morning, my lady."
"I was wondering..." She felt through her hair. "Would you like to sit with me? I'll be over there behind the table."
"I'll be there," I walked to the area with my bagged lunch, which is now my breakfast. I ate from there and waited for her to come up.
"Good morning, Savoice," Dagra walked up. "I see that you didn't eat that lunch yet."
"That's why I'm eating it now."
"True." She looked over at Moderator Elleai approach. "Um, good morning, Moderatoress."
"I am just a Moderator." The beautiful sat down.
"Oh, sorry." Dagra smiled at me. "Well, I guess I'll just leave the two of you. Let me know if you need anything."
"Leave this table, please," Moderator Elleai said.
Dagra had her mouth wide open to Moderator Elleai and turned to me. Then, without words, she just left the table as ordered.
"She's just trying to hypnotize you," the Moderator chewed. "Be wary of that."
I pulled out a fruit. "What do you want to talk to me about?"
"I actually just want to get to know you more. Have you had children?"
"No. You want children with me?"
"Not to imply that right now. But, you are quite the charm at the looks."
I looked around the room with blockage in my throat in attempt to swallow. "Looks, hmm?"
"Yes, Savoice--your looks. The Pertanese hold themselves highly."
I looked at her. "I guess you Ovilians have your nice looks, too."
"I'm actually from Salwom. But, coming to Ovilis had a price on my eyes."
"What happened to them?"
"If you notice, one eye is blue and one is green, because when I came to Ovilis one day, it changed its colors. I cannot see well out of my left eye--the green one. My right eye is very good. Your eyes are very good to look at."
Our eyes gleamed at one another's. It seemed that they were communicating in a way of infatuation. My eyes were stinging fervently without resistance of pulling away to a burning ledge of temptation. Her eyes were glistening with the calls of light, attracting any beam of its way to submission.
"Are they now?" I smiled. "You say alot, but do you mean it?"
"Of course I do. Your personality is very strong--unwavering, resistant, yet noble to what is truly known. Your existence here has changed my self-awareness, too."
"Has it? Have you ever known me beyond these borders?"
"No. I've never even heard of you. But, when you first came, it was like a call to me." Her words were empty, but her face was filled with peace.
"I haven't known you, either. You are from Salwom, after all."
"Yes, yes. I...I just want to apologize for the other day."
"What did you do to me?" I want her to remember what she did, and all of it in plain sight.
"You were walking from the expression day, and I said that you were simple."
"Yeah, you did say that. " My top body leaned to her. "You also said that I attacked Moderator Ed-Nonon first."
Her eyes widened. "How...I'm sorry, Savoice. I'm so, so, sorry."
"Why would you lie about that, Zy...Elleai?"
"Because I did not want Moderator Ed-Nonon to get in trouble. But, the Ed-Nonon confessed that he personally quarreled against you first."
"But, he hurt you. Why would you protect someone that hurt you?"
"It was his mistake, Savoice. I was there to ease him down. If I wasn't there, he would have killed you."
I turned away from her. "Too compassionate." I ate some of the bread left in the bag.
She was tasting the air, attempting to feel the insensitivity that realmed my heart at the moment. Perhaps, she was trying to understand me and my ways. Or, she was cornered for whatever reason to subdue me. Just a while ago, she was complimenting me, and now she is feeling rejected.
"I'm not all that 'self-serving', if you were wondering," I said.
"No, Savoice, I just admire you."
The swallowed bread moved abruptly disordered in my throat. "W-What?" I coughed. "That's the first I've heard."
"Good. So, I have a better chance now." She stood up. "Thank you for the time together today. I'm done with my food, so I'll attend to other things. Have a good time at the 'expression'."
Oh, yes. I forgot that was today.
After a while of the beauty leaving, I ate my food and finished the entire bag. Dagra came back to me and spoke with me about what me and the female moderator talked about, of course. I reassured her that there was no flirtation taking place, although there truly was. She expressed to me that she liked me—finally—and then fleed awkwardly. From there, I went to my room, got a shower, and got ready for the "expression" meet.
Then, the mighty shrill of the bell ringing led me and the rest of the interpreters to the scene. There was Dojyu Coffnaigh to open the door, and the empty chair where the agent would usually be at the front.
"Keep it to yourself," Coffnaigh reminded me. "Fresh meat." Then, he left.
Inside, I took a seat beside Interpreter Satire and Polly on my other side. Then nearby was Khovab and that silent canine who I still don't know the name of, and Kon'effin frowning up. Salmah sat beside Interpreter Lalsu. Interpreter Myaari was at the front, and Lovopian happened to decide to sit where I was last time. Now I'm in the back slouching with my slaves.
"Callinaiva thinks this is wonderful," the hissing beast spoke for himself. "Shall they start?"
"Whenever you're ready," Moderator Hoberzt's sharp voice pierced my ear.
"Alright then," Callinaiva said. "Let them begin. The rules for the meet are as follows: No interuptions of a subordinate aimed to an executive, regardless of the reason. No mentions of the Vavy principles. One mention now earns a dock on any person's record--even an executive. No intimacy of subordinates. No dismissal without former permission. Most of all, never deny reality."
He said that last rule with a smirk on his face, as if he corellated something with it. Perhaps it has something to do with what Moderator Hoberzt told me about him.
Moderator Hoberzt stood up and searched around. "Any questions?"
No one asked a question.
"Let us proceed, then. Where is Najarv'sye?" Everyone looked around with him.
"Uh, I saw him earlier," Interpreter Myaari said. "Maybe he had to step out a little bit."
"We need to find him," the moderator shook his head. "Callinaiva, find him." He looked at me, and then looked at the others.
Someone tapped my lap from under me. "Savowise..."
Pulls of pressure dimmed my eyes down. "Naj--."
There was Najarv'sye near me, from under the table. I didn't even notice him there.
"Savowise," he said, "Let them know where I am."
For a while, some fear trembled my mind, but I pointed down at him. "Everyone, he's here."
Polly, who was sitting on the very side where Najarv'sye sat, smiled in his palms.
I grimaced at the sight, then looked at the Moderators. "Here he is. It was a setup."
"What are you talking about, Savoice?" Moderator Hoberzt was sitting at the table. "No interruptions, please."
Was that all an illusion? Wait, what just happened?
I looked at the front, and Najarv'sye was staring at the wall—sitting in the front as assigned.
"No way...he was just here."
"Shut up, Savoice," Kon'effin said. "You're just delusional."
I glared at him. "You imbecile! Do not even say that to me again!"
"Oh, Savoice," Callinaiva said, "Stop all of the madness. Sit down and think for a bit."
My eyes were locked on the glazing gold eyes of Zona Kon'effin. "You will have patches on both eyes next time."
"Ooh..." Myaari looked at the Moderators, "That's a threat."
"Sit down, Savoice," Callinaiva said.
I sat to slouch. "I'm not a piece for mockery."
"Proceed on, Najarv'sye," Callinaiva nodded.
"As I was saying a while ago," Najarv'sye said, "I will be explaining what happened to me yesterday, the most of events seen in occurances. Many of them took place later in the day where fear rebelled in my drowned spirit of apathy. Some happened to be off guard.
"In all entirety, the events that overshadowed my life at this very time pursued against my will of understanding where to go. Yestermorn' Emerita with the vine in her back came outside and cried to me about her ails of it growing throughout her body. She was very passionate on her means to express her agony, but nothing connected to me. I listened to the unfortunate female, and then nodded. I told her that there was nothing I could do about the conditions.
"On the journey to continuation, I was asked by Talchon to deliver letters to the local Civil Assistance headquarters in Blysie, the city right beside Dakahama. I did so. The journey there, however, was a gruesome one. At the beginning, there were two women carrying three babies in their hands. One woman wore a dress; one wore sandals. The babes were naked in their dancing innocence of their common parents. Then, in the distance, a circle of purple light shined as a fireball above them. It glowed brighter and brighter by the minute. Then, in a quick wince from one of the laughing children, the fireball swiped its mercy to forgetfulness. The fireball fell on them, killing all five of them into splats of firey blood. As I was leaving, the fire was still burning.
"After a while, walking became an ail to my feet, and I decided to take a rest on the steps of the city default. A middle-aged male was standing arguing with an official. As contentious as he was, the official was quite calm about it. But after this horrifying event, the peace would be stolen. The official's nose lengthened to the arguers nose in an instant, longer than two fingers put together. Blood streamed down the nose due to trauma of the bones, perhaps. He watched as the nose grew as a knowing plant for competition, in the fire of his fear. Even the arguer had no choice to flee watching this.
"I look over, and there is nothing but a large, black circle right in front of me. As I had learned in times past to avoid any object that appears in Ovilis, I attempted to walk past it. However, it scoped with the movement of my eyes, therefore making it 'in front' of me continuously. So, instead, I continued to walk.
"However, now I realize that I should not have done so. Behind me, a ray of light shined through my chest onto the black ball, reflecting back to it's source. Mn...I can still remember the sharp pain that overtook me that very moment. It was as if a knife were pure iron which came fresh out of the core of a burning star. Some of my blood and tissue were distressed to be evaporated by this great energy. But, it was not the worst.
"After this, the ball and laser instantly disappeared, and I fell right to the ground in excruciating pain. My vision became smeared to see the light which no longer was present to forge my eyes to belief. The tissues of my body reamed its pay in use and began to bleed out. I had to get to the headquarters soon to deliver, but it was becoming difficult in ode to the conditions on Ovilis. She spares no one.
"So, I ran quickly. So much distractions came around me, including an over-grown Fannakiw that flapped its large wings to blow me to my destination. Enough fear was the source for the haste, a need for survival. Let alone, the creature was seeking something of me, and crowed to follow the entire time. The feathers on its head and back shined against the bright sky, and its tail shivered in concentration for the best of me. I ran into the headquarters in thought of the people inside for a while. The papers and letters just had to be poured as near to the target place at much as possible. Paper was not suffice for life.
"Then immediately the inclination to run with my natural two feet tortured my heaving heart. I was rushing down the brisky path with no hesitation. With no surprise, the beast was absent in vision, and was not there when I returned outside. There was no need to look for it. So, I continued running my way back to Talchon's place in inform of the successful delivery.
"A familiar face came to me, Rejerita Ibbins, who is a female feline of some sort which takes success in financial interpretation. She asked me where I was going, and I went ahead and told her to be less of an obstruction, because I was heading somewhere. But, she still came to follow me.
"'Oh, my shoes changed,' she said. And I was less concerned of her transformative shoes. She then told me, 'Look at that rock, Najarv'sye. It changed to a smaller size.' But, again, I was less interested. Then, she got in front of me.
"Her complaint was less than a tragedy. She glared into my eyes and said, 'Do you care about me?'
"And, I told her, 'I don't care about anyone right now. Do you see me bleeding of the chest?' But she still did not seem to give regards to the situation. Every time I tried to get past her, she would move in front.
"I pushed her and told her that she was becoming more obstructive than the realities that overtake Ovilis. Fear coughed the blood out of me. But, she still failed to listen. She still owned her ground and foot.
"I continued to run as best as she would allow. As soon as she got in front of me again, I ran into her and tried to run past her. But, she was sturdy against the rushing necessity to cover my bleeding chest.
"My body became weak at the instant, resulting in me falling over and coughing blood excessively. The coughs became narrow and desperate for air. Bloody sweat streamed down the pores of my scalp, burning my skin of its sensitive composition.
"And Rejerita stood over me, saying, 'If you care less about Ovilis, Ovilis cares less about you.' Then, she walked away from me.
"My suffering body did not give pause for me. It was in tire, of need, and gorey pleads to recede from the conditions. My eyes flashed for the assistance of other approaching beings, but none took time to stop. They continued their way as I did for them.
"For a while I remained there in that spot, heaving for salvation. But, then I noticed that no one would save me but myself. Lying no longer, I dragged my body to my destination with full strength never behold. Often I would pause. Often I would cringe in agony. Often I internally wished that a person would rescue me. Often, I looked back at the trail of blood which I left behind. But, I never cried out.
"By the point of being halfway to my destination, my body gave in to weakness. It convulsed, it shredded its capacity, it betrayed. Thoughts of Rejerita circled in my mind, as well as Talchon, and the officer with his long nose, also those two destroyed women with two children. Ovilis...she never held account to any. Not even me.
"Sounds of ringing pierced my ears caused me to slurp the air past the fountain of blood. Visions turned into mere surrealistic temptations to destine against existence. Tongues of gleaming torture continuously admonished me of denial. The pain became null.
"It turned out that I had fainted eventually of all the perplexity coming from the situation. It was as if I were sleeping in a dream and reliving it again. The whole senario rolled rapidly in its coarse senses. There was no pain; pain was no more.
"The next morning I woke up in my own room with Talchon standing beside me. He told me that he was waiting for me to wake up, because he thought that I was 'playing dead'. I told him that I truly fainted from pain because of the adrupt shooting laser from reality. I even told him about the sights I saw going to my destination to the headquarters.
"But, there was something odd that I noticed. The pain was no longer there. I looked down at my chest to find that no scar was left, no, not even a small elevation of pain. It were as if I was never shot, as if I was...denying reality once again."
Immediately Callinaiva hissed in the background. Moderator Hoberzt shook his head. Everyone in the room were hesitant on the matter, as distant as most were anyway.
Najarv'sye nodded. "The morale here is that I never truly experienced the pain. It took me a while to understand why it worked that way. There was a contender in part who was Rejerita. She did not recognize that I was in pain, for the reason that I was perfect in her sight. Pain in Ovilis is unseen to the eyes. I am finished." He sat down.
Most of us in the room were unbearing of the long sililoquy of the intellects of Najarv'sye once again.
"Alright, the floor is now open for questions," Moderator Hoberzt said.
"So, what's with the pain and stuff?" Polly knocked on the table. "I mean, is it real or not? Let me see your scar."
"There is no scar," Najarv'sye said. "None of the pain was real."
"But, how is that possible? If you felt it and stuff, then how is it not real?"
"There could be many reasons why this happens, which all of you here are in consensus to resolve. Besides that, a personal take on this would be that a reality was undone by Ovlis' causes."
"But, isn't that denying reality?" Khovab said.
"No. I do not renounce its existence. I say that it was undone."
"Let me ask you something, Najarv'sye," Interpreter Myaari knocked. "Can you provide us an interpretation of the punishments put on the people?"
"I do not say they are 'punishments'. It was a suggestion of someone which I told you about last time we met. However, some of the interpretations I tried to recall for myself. The long-nosed male could have been offended by the words of the opposer but shown through his streaming blood. The two women with the children were smitten with an energy orb of some sort. Seemingly, this happened on a quick wince in peace. It would be stolen very quickly. This could suggest the swift leave of innocence into bare ignorance. But, I will leave that for you to interpret, sir."
Interpreter Myaari nodded, and looked at everyone else writing in their notes.
"Why did you decide to deliver the papers for Talchonie, Najarv'sye?" Interpreter Lalsu knocked.
"Talchon--not Talchonie."
"Very sorry, your honor."
"Absolved. Talchon is more of a side partner in the work of formulating conclusions about Ovilis. As he suffers the state of Ovilis, he also tolerates it well unlike his wife. Talchon has a due purpose in delivering such vital papers to the headquarters, because he possibly writes about the main points for the Finalization Team to read and interpret for themselves. Why not?"
Interpreter Satire yawned. "You ever see that Salwomese again?"
"Knock," Moderator Hoberzt rolled his eyes and muttered, "Imbecile."
"No, I did not."
The others were asking questions about the story of his and how he was able to tolerate it. I was still in stall of asking a good one.
"Do you prepare these speeches ahead of time?" Lousy-asking Lovopian said. But, he did manage to get everyone else laughing.
Najarv'sye pulled up his glasses. "I always prepare for the worst."
"The worst of what?" Interpreter Kon'effin glared.
"The worst of not showing the truth."
Interpreter Kon'effin had the nudge to look at me, and many others followed his lead. Salmah was scratching his head. That canine male that never speaks had his eyes closed and breathed peacefully. Polly was distracted, rolling his eyes around the room in wonder.
"Is that all?" Callinaiva smiled. "If that be a--."
"How do you not have sympathy for dying children?" I just had to say something. But, that was my ultimate concern at the moment. "You watched three children under the care of two women and let a fireball hit them. Not only did they die, but they weren't at least regarded by the witness."
Najarv'sye nodded. "Ovlis numbed my sense of sympathy for all being groups. It seems that since she leaves no one behind in her judgement, there is no reason to fight against it. At one time I did, and that was when I denied my surroundings. Whatever came to me, I openly denied of the very fact it existed. As the matter concerns, I even went to the level of believing in true invincibility. These side effects of residence in Ovilis still live in me, but they are becoming mortal again.
"Some argue that children are the necessity for the form of later generations, but I argue that there is no generation until the truth be found. Why compromise doubt with destiny? Doubt is the way to answers. Destiny is reason for answers."
"I don't think that the truth should compromise the fact that there are young children suffering here," I said. "If you were the child living in Ovilis, which of course you were at one time, then would you want someone disregarding your legacy for just existing?"
"Everything exists in Ovilis, but not everything exists in the people of her."
"What do you mean by that? Are you saying that people in Ovilis just assume that anything is possible except for that what they can do themselves?"
"No, Savowise, I mean the people make acusations that always exist, and it is feisable for any reason, but they may be internally denying it for themselves. Therefore, if I say a child exists, and it does not, it is there, but not denying its true existence."
"Okay. But, you still need to have some expression for your environment, Najarv'sye. If you don't, you'll deny reality all over again." I left it there, because he was not going to budge to my authority.
After that question, everyone was tired, and they decided to dismiss. I wanted to speak to Najarv'sye some more, but that opportunity wasn't available to me. He was gone quiet before I knew it. I still wanted to speak with someone, though. No one came and talked to me after the meeting, so I went to them. But, with Salmah and Polly and even Interpreter Satire, the conversation would die once I came into it.
I just went to my room and gazed into the black paint on my ceiling. Is there anything beyond the feelings of despair being in Ovilis, that there is no way to control the surroundings no matter the ream of the situation? Is there ever a true resolution to the "spontaneous reality"?
No, Savoice—there is not. That is probably the whole conclusion to this means, that a solution never exists, and therefore a problem doesn't exist at all. Ovilis is no problem. It is a realm that is exaggerated with negative effects. It is the very excuse for this planet to abandon its origins.
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