X-Men Apocalypse Alternate HISHE

*Magneto: Charles, do you have a son?
*Charles: Legion? Sure. Well there is that one g--- Oh wait Fox told me not to tell you about him yet."﻿
*Magneto: Mytstique, do you have a son?
*Mystique: *Nervously glances at Nightcrawler* Uhh, I think it's time I told Kurt the truth
*Magneto: Don't you ever get tired of it Charles? You and I..... having the same dialog across six movies? We might as well just cut back to older movies to save us the time.
*Charles: Way ahead of you Eric!﻿
*Sabine/Holdo: I saw her..... Ezra i saw her...... our daughter[Rey]
Ezra/DJ: WHAT!? I HAVE A DAUGHTER?! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I AM A DAD! I HAVE A DAUGHTER EVERYONE! I HAVE A DAUGHTER MASTER SKYWALKER! I HAVE A DAUGHTER MASTER YODA! I HAVE A DAUGHTER AHSOKA! MASTER KENOBI I HAVE A DAUGHTER BECAUSE I AM A DAD NOW AND YOU ARE HER GRANDFATHER NOW!
*Obi-Wan: Yes i saw﻿
Darth Vader enters the pub suddenly
Darth Vader: I HAVE A SON
Joker: Yeah... so? I mean lik-
Darth Vader: I HAVE A SONNNN starts shaking joker
Loki: This is going to be a long day!
Voldermort: Wait, didn't he reform?
YEARS LATER
Khan: I don't wanna remember that day... Yikes!
Rest of villain pub: agrees
Ghost Vader and Magneto: WE HAVE A SON
Voldermort: Oh god have mercy on us...
Ghost Yoda: Yes I know how that feels
Voldermort: WHAAT WHO SAID THAT GET AWAYYY﻿
----
*-Quicksilver: "Dad, a horde of metal men is destroying the world. Help us!
*-Magneto: "Can't. Copyright"﻿
----
ME: Hey everyone I'm back so I decided to do another HISHE about X-Men Apocalypse so there are 4 different endings
Disclaimer: I don't own HISHE it is owned by the YouTube Channel of the same name I also don't own Marvel,DC,Star Wars or Ninjago
Super Café 1983
The 1983 versions of Superman and Batman were sitting at the Café doing their usual thing
Superman: Did you hear the X-Men are fighting Apocalypse should we help
Batman: Nope his already dead
Superman: That's good I wonder what happened
Iron and Hulk arrive and sit next to them
Iron Man: I'll tell you what happened
HISHE Avengers
Apocalypse was successful in taking over Charles body and the rest of the X-Men were defeated
Apocalypse: You are all weak pathetic mortals I will now destroy you
He is blasted away
Iron Man: Relax everyone The Avengers are here
Apocalypse: You cannot defeat me I am a god
Hulk grabs onto his foot and starts smashing him against the ground shouting Puny god!
Apocalypse faints and they imprison him in the negative zone
Super Café
Iron Man: That's how we defeated Apocalypse
Hulk: Hulk Happy!
Wolverine arrives
Wolverine: That's not what happened this is what happened
HISHE Wolverine
Apocalypse and Quick Silver were fighting when Quick Silver got trapped in Mud
He is then stabbed in the head by Wolverine who appeared out of no where
Super Café
Wolverine: And that's how I defeated Apocalypse and saved the day
They just stayed at him
Superman: Dude that sucks
Batman: I mean how did you suddenly appear out of nowhere
Superman: And there wasn't even any dialogue in that story
Batman: At least the Avengers story made sense and had dialogue
Superman: Even though it sucked
Iron Man: Yes wait Hey!
Hulk: Hulk agree with everyone
Deadpool appeared
Superman: Let me guess you're going to tell us how to defeated Apocalypse
Sensei Wu outfit appears on Deadpool
Deadpool(Wise voice): This story I'm about to tell you is
He changes back to normal
Deadpool: *Beep*ing awesome
HISHE Deadpool
Apocalypse is dancing like a silly person singing his own version of I'm a little teapot
Apocalypse: I'm a little teapot stupid and tall this is my head and this is my arm
He is shot in the head
Deadpool: That's right you just got shot by the merc with a mouse am I awesome or am I *beep*ing awesome I don't *beep*ing know
He gets hit in the head by Captain America shield and a note falls on him as the shield flies away
Deadpool: Ow what's this
The Note reads
Dear Deadpool
LANGUAGE!
Captain America
Deadpool: What the *beep*
He is hit again by the shield and another note falls on him
The Note reads
LANGUAGE!
Super Café
Superman: That is one of the most messed up stories ever
Deadpool: It's *beep*ing awesome though anyway I'm going to go find more drama
He leaves
Batman: All those stories are fake here is how it really ended
HISHE Batman
Apocalypse and Quick Silver were about to fight when Batman walked by and pushed Quick Silver out of the way
Apocalypse: What do you think you're doing
Batman: I'm saving the day
He grabs a Kryptonite Spear and stabs Apocalypse
Super Café
Superman: I don't believe it
Batman: Why not
Superman: I thought you didn't kill your enemies
Batman: I didn't I used a special gadget I made to take away his mutant powers
Iron Man: Well I don't believe it
Batman: Why
Iron Man: You don't even have any powers and you aren't as smart as me and I can't do that how could you create such a gadget
Superman: Idiot
Batman: Because I'm Batman!
Villain Pub
Apocalypse: And so he stole all my powers and now I suck
The Joker: You are clearly unlucky Batman isn't even from Marvel
Apocalypse: If I had my powers so help me Joker now I want another drink
Deadpool: Hey everybody
Emperor: Deadpool we told you you are not welcomed here
Deadpool: Relax wrinkles I have something to do then I'll leave your suckish pub
The Emperor gets mad
Darth Vadar: You just got served
Deadpool shoots Apocalypse in the head
Deadpool: Now you were killed by the Merc with the Mouse! I really am *Beep*ing awesome
Super Café
A director is sitting next Batman
Director: So do you want to act in our Captain America Civil War movie we are going to make in 2016
Batman: Why do you want me
Director: Because your Batman!
Batman: I'm in
End
Category:Alternate Endings