The World of SBFW scrapped pilots

These are the first two drafts of The World of SBFW's pilot episode, which would later become An Introduction. They were released under Primementos.
==First draft (May 15, 2020)==
Note: Writing in [square brackets and italics] was added afterward
(Episode begins with CrazySponge walking outside)
CrazySponge: Ah, today's a good day. I can't wait to buy yet another company and cancel all their spin-offs! HOOPLA!
(Suddenly, a house falls from the sky and crushes him. Polar walks by)
Polar: Ah, today's a good da-WOAH WHAT THE FUCK
(She lifts the house to find CrazySponge's corpse)
Polar: oh god oh fuck i need to tell the others about this
(She takes out her piPhone XXX and dials Lock)
(Cut to Lock's house, where [s]he is watching COS and eating popcorn)
Lock: This is a very hot spin-off
(H[er] phone rings, [s]he picks it up)
Lock: This is Lock speaking, creator of many hot spin-offs, how may I help you?
Polar: CrazySponge died
Lock: WHAT
Polar: i know right
Lock: This is very sad we need to tell the others and shit
Polar: Agreed. Hey wait what even is the plot of this episode?
Lock: No idea.
Polar: Huh. Oh well let's go tell the others about this.
Lock: Sounds good.
(They go and look for other people)
(Meanwhile, in Box Productions Inc.)
Matchy: Hey Purps
Purps: Yes?
Matchy: Have you seen Crazy anywhere?
Purps: Nope.
Matchy: Shit… How will we continue all his spin-offs?
Purps: You mean HFB cuz that's the only one he actually gives a shit about.
Matchy: True.
(They go and write multiple ideas for the spin-off)
Purps: How about… Hoopla is revealed to be homosexual!
Matchy: Purps, we're not Netflix.
Purps: o.
Matchy: How about… Hoopla… goes to Dominos?
(Jasbre materializes from thin air)
Jasbre: DOMINOS IS FOR DAMN FOOLS!
(He disappears)
Matchy: What?
Purps: I dunno.
Matchy: What would Crazy want?
Purps: A bunch of Hoopla and shit.
Matchy: Good idea. We'll make an episode that's just millions of Hooplas!
Purps: No don't
Matchy: o come on. How bad could it possibly-
Purps: You know whenever they say that, something bad happens.
Matchy: FUCK!
Purps: Let's just film it already.
(Cut to the filming room, where Hoopla is reading the script)
Hoopla: uhhhhh
Matchy: What?
Hoopla: uhhhhh
Matchy: Spit it out already!
Hoopla: how will you make 100 clones of me when the video software you use only allows up to 50 at a time?
Purps: Shit, you're right. We need Hoopla Pro Vegas Version 2.
Matchy: Then let's go to SBFW-Mart
==Second draft (May 16, 2020)==
(Episode begins with a shot of SpongeBob's house)
Painty the Pirate: (offscreen) OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(SpongeBob exits his house)
SpongeBob: BE QUIET! This isn't SpongeBob SquarePants, you oil painting!
(America begins to beat Painty up)
Painty: OW! OH! OUCH! SHIT! AHH!!
SpongeBob: Huh. Anyway… (He goes back in his house)
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