Lankton's Rehab

Lankton's Rehab is the first episode of the 4th season of NKC, written by AllisonLoaded. The episode released September 30, 2022.
==Plot==
Rex and Krabs are sent to NKC's best rehab, ran by Dr. Peter Lankton; Patrick returns to New Kelp City.
==Script==
(The episode begins with a fade-in of the NKC court; Rex and Krabs stand in front of the Judge)
Judge: Krabs and Rex, you two stand accused of violating numerous laws regarding public indecency and drug usage. How do you both plead?
Rex: (Hesitant, sighing shortly afterwards) Guilty, your honor.
Krabs: Not fucking guilty. NOT FUCKING GUILTY. YOU CANNOT PROVE I TOUCHED A SINGLE GOD-DAMNED CORPSE EVER.
Jury: Your honor, we have video evidence of him having sex with corpses during the Krillanon riot.
Krabs: YOU DO? YOU REALLY FUCKING DO?! SHOW ME. I WANT TO SEE IT WITH BOTH MY FUCKING EYES.
(Sudden cut to the entire courtroom watching the footage of Krabs having sex with corpses in disgust)
Rex: Krabs, what the fuck? I don’t remember you doing this at all!
Krabs: You were probably too busy snorting cocaine.
Judge: On behalf of the evidence, I sentence you both guilty, and am sending you both to rehab immediately.
Rex: Oh well. Rehab wasn’t bad, from what I remember. The person who ran it was very nice.
Krabs: What was his name?
Rex: Uh… I don’t remember.
Krabs: Wait, are you sending us both to the same damn rehab?
Judge: Yes. Dr. Peter Lankton’s Rehabilitation center.
Rex: Wait, that’s not the rehab I was sent to last time.
Judge: Your rehab sessions begin today. This case is now dismissed. (Slams gavel, and 2 officers escort Rex and Krabs out the door)
Krabs: FUCK THE JUSTICE SYSTEM! FUCK YOU ALL! YOU DON’T KNOW TRUE JUSTICE! VIVA LA RESISTANCE!
(Krabs gets violently tased by the officer carrying him)
Rex: Why the Hell did you do that?!
Officer: Cus I can, and it’s very funny.
Rex: It’s not THAT funny.
(The officer threatenly holds up his taser)
Rex: Point taken, now please just get us to our rehab.
(Fade to Rex and Krabs in front of a building with a large sign reading “DR. PETER LANKTON’S REHABILITATION CENTER”)
Rex: Well, let’s get this stupid shit over with, Krabs. (No response) Krabs?
(Rex glances over and sees Krabs is out cold; Rex slaps Krabs hard in the face, which wakes him up screaming)
Krabs: The FUCK is wrong with you?!
Rex: I just was gonna tell you we are here, and you were asleep. Now let’s just get this over with.
(Cut to the inside of Dr. Lankton’s rehab; the a purple chair faces the corner of the room, as the door creaks open)
Lankton: Come on in!
(Rex and Krabs walk into the building, looking around)
Krabs: (Notices the purple chair) Hey, look at that neat chair.
Lankton: You must be the 2 convicts sent here to see me. Rex and Krabs, is it?
Rex: Yes.
Krabs: Who is that speaking?
(The purple chair spins to face Rex and Krabs, revealing Dr. Lankton)
Lankton: I’m Dr. Lankton, and I run this rehab.
Krabs: You look… scarily similar to someone I know.
Lankton: You must be referring to Plankton. He was my half-brother. Stupid son of a bitch couldn’t do anything right. (Clears throat) But that is besides the point. What were you two brought in here for?
Rex: Misuse and abuse of… Crack cocaine.
Krabs: I was innocent. I’m only here because of the faulty justice system.
Lankton: No, you’re here because you had violent sex with corpses.
Krabs: How the FUCK did you know?!
Lankton: I read the news everyday.
Krabs: They put that on the NEWS?!
Rex: I mean, why wouldn’t they?
Lankton: Gentlemen, please ease the chatter. We have a lot of work ahead of us.
Krabs: How long exactly?
Lankton: (Shrugs) Could take a few days. Could take a few weeks. Could take a few… years. But none of us want that last one, do we?
Rex: Not really.
Krabs: I mean, maybe if-
Lankton: Right. So cooperation will be beneficial for all of us. 
Rex: Hypothetically, would you be willing to put up with us for a year?
Lankton: A year isn’t even the longest someone has ever had therapy here. Someone once had me for 5 years because they ran over someone one time. But we are getting way too sidetracked. Come, please just sit.
(Krabs and Rex sit on some chairs)
Lankton: Good, good. So… Tell me where your guys’ issues began.
Rex: Well… Mine goes back to my teenage years. One of my friends got a bag of cocaine and offered me some. I had nothing else going on in my life, so I tried some… And I’ve never gotten off the stuff. I’ve tried many times… But they all failed. And now I am here.
Lankton: Good, good - Short, sweet and to the point. Now, Krabs - how about you and your… uh… problem.
Krabs: I’m… embarrassed. 
Lankton: C’mon, admitting it will make you feel better.
Krabs: Uh… To make a long story short, I was having financial problems so I took a job making necrophilia films for some cash. Then I just got addicted.
Rex: I feel you, uh, missed one or two details there.
Krabs: No, no, that’s literally it. I was having money problems so I took a corpse-fucking job. It’s that simple.
Rex: But, why did-
Lankton: Rex, please. I’ve heard stories much, much stranger. Let’s just move on.
Rex: Okay, but that’s gonna be on the back of my mind for a while. Why the fuck is Krabs even here? I think having sex with dead people is way different than doing drugs.
Lankton: Rex, I’d really just like to continue on with this session.
(Rex angrily sighs)
Lankton: Now, let’s begin our first session…
(Fade to Bikini Bottom, in SpongeBob’s neighborhood; Squidward’s house has a “for sale” sign; eventually fade to Patrick in his rock, on his couch)
Patrick: Time to drown my sorrows with a little television, then go back to heavy drinking. (Turns on TV to a news station)
Perch Perkins: We have breaking news from New Kelp City!
Patrick: New Kelp City? Damn - it feels like forever ago since I witnessed most of my friends getting arrested. God damn, that whole riot still feels like a fever dream. Poor SpongeBob has never been the same since.
(Cut to show SpongeBob in his bed, staring at the ceiling, with a totally stoic expression during broad daylight; cut back)
Perch Perkins: Hundreds of citizens of New Kelp have reportedly lost their lives in what could only be described as a brutal mass-murdering let on by NKC’s most notorious criminal, Tattletale Strangler!
Patrick: What the fuck?! How much shit did I fucking miss?!
Perch Perkins: Among those reported dead are two Krillanon rioters, Squidward Tentacles and Sheldon J. Plankton, and perhaps the most devastating casualty, the mayor of New Kelp himself!
Patrick: Oh fuck, Squidward and Plankton are fucking DEAD?! How much fucking shit happened in the few months I was fucking gone?!
Perch Perkins: Taking the mayor’s place is the mayor’s brother, who promises to fix up New Kelp to not allow any disaster of this magnitude to happen again. More on this as it develops.
(Patrick turns the TV off and stands up)
Patrick: A hundred dead… God damn, I can’t decide if that place is worse or better than it was when I left. What they need is a police force that will actually enforce shit. (Lightbulb goes off) Holy shit, that is a great idea! What that stupid town needs… is a good police force! I could get a job as a police officer and fix that craphole town! Yeah, I have no prior experience, have many DUIs, and the Jury is still out on if I killed that man or not, but how hard could it be? That settles it - I’m going back to New Kelp City!
(TO BE CONTINUED)
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