Film IV Session 7

== Session Duration ==
Episodes 740-774, 35 episodes
== Cast of Characters and Players ==
* Jim as:
** Dead!Antilles
** Han Solo (Greedo)
* Ben as Obi-Wan
* Sally as C-3PO
* Pete as R2-D2
* Annie as Princess/Leia Amidala
* Corey as Adam Lars/Luke Amidala/Luke Starkiller
* The GM as:
** Clone Troopers
** BoShek
** Wuher
** Chewbacca
** Ponda Baba
** Doctor Evazan
** Han Solo (Shapeshifter)
** Tarkin
** Darth Vader
** General Tagge
** Wioslea
** Jabba
** Garindan
** Peace Moon Technician
== Summary ==
Jim proudly announces that he's finished writing up his new character's background, and The GM is now ready to include his new character in the story.
Ben takes Corey, Sally, and Pete to Mos Eisley, warning them that they'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Pete points out that Mos Espa was also described as a wretched hive of scum and villainy. The GM replies that Mos Eisley is the most wretched. It's the most scummy, too. Also, villainous. The others conclude that the more wretched hives of scum and villainy must be very well hidden. Ben advises against Corey using his character's real name of Luke Amidala, since that last name will ring alarm bells. Corey chooses to call himself "Luke Starkiller" from now on.
As they enter the city on Corey's hovercar, Pete is outraged when he sees that the miniature the GM has made to represent Mos Eisley is made up from the miniature used to represent Pete's beloved dreadnought because he knows what that means: the natives have torn apart his dreadnought and used it to build Mos Eisley. They come across people riding dinosaur-like creatures. Ben wants to know why the people here can't just use hovercars, or even wheeled vehicles. The GM explains that the dinosaurs and their upkeep is somehow cheaper than vehicles. Corey asks how much his hovercar is worth, and the GM tells him 4000 credits. They're stopped by a squad of Clone Troopers, who inform them the Troopers are looking for a dangerous lunatic and two droids, that the lunatic is a home-schooled survivalist from an off-grid compound. The Troopers ask the players if they've seen anything unusual lately. Corey claims he hasn't. Ben asks what this lunatic looks like. The Troopers reply that he looks just like Corey, then asks Corey and Ben if they've seen anyone of that description. Ben says he hasn't aside from Corey and asks Coery if he has a twin. Corey replies no, not that he's aware of. Ben apologizes for not being more help. The Troopers let the players go, but suggest to Corey that he could come patrol with them when he's not too busy to give people a better idea of what this lunatic looks like, no offense.
Ben takes the players to a cantina to try to find a pilot to take them to Naboo. Ben talks to BoShek who reccomends he talk to a Wookie. Pete asks Jim if the Wookie is his new character. Jim replies that the Wookie is actually his sidekick, and boasts how this is an example of how detailed his character background is. Furthermore, Jim reveals, to Sally's delight, that the Wookie is Chewbacca, that Wookie Yoda talked to in the previous campaign. But before Ben can talk to Chewbacca, Wuher, the bartender, orders Pete out of the cantina because he's on their blacklist. When Pete asks why, the GM points out that he took a -2 in Reputation in order to be equipped with a periscope. Sally volunteers to wait outside with Pete, and they leave. 
Corey walks up to the bar and orders a blue milk, but Wuher has never heard of anything so ridiculous, and tells him they only serve whiskey, so Corey has that instead. Ben talks to Chewbacca, telling him they need a fast ship to Naboo. Chewbacca waxes poetic about Naboo, and Ben can tell by his eloquence that Chewbacca is a man of exquisite refinement. Jim explains that he made his sidekick high on all his dump stats.
Corey tries to strike up a conversation with the alien sitting next to him, Ponda Baba, about moisture farming, but Baba takes immedeate offense at hearing such nonsense. Baba's friend, Doctor Evazan is equally offended. Corey tries to explain to them that he really is a moisture farmer, but that only makes them angrier. Corey tries to change the subject by asking if they have any blue milk, which really infuriates them, Evazan telling Corey he'll be dead. Ponda draws a blaster, but Ben steps forward and slices off Ponda's arm with his laser sword. Ponda asks what Ben did that for, Ponda was only messing with the kid, and now it'll take hours for his arm to grow back. Ponda then admits that he's just kidding, that his arm is actually gone forever. And it hurts a lot.
Outside the cantina, Pete and Sally notice that Troopers have spotted Corey's hovercar, notice that it matches the description they've been given, and actually seem to realize that it must be the hovercar they're looking for. Pete tries to hack into the dreadnought's weapons systems. He hacks into something, and turns it on before finding out what it is. It turns out that what he hacked into was something that turned on some really loud music, music so loud that the Troopers leave just to get away from it. Pete considers that a victory.
Chewbacca introduces Ben and Corey to Jim's new character, Greedo (actually, the film's Han Solo). Jim speaks with a thick, Space Italian accent that quickly annoys all the players except Annie. Ben repeats his request of a fast ship to Naboo and no questions asked, but Jim, with his stereotypical Italian, phrases nearly everything he says in the form of a question. Ben plays this to his advantage, offering Jim and Chewbacca payment in two thousand credits now, plus fifteen thousand more when they reach Naboo, minus one thousand for each additional question. Jim, still phrasing nearly everything he says as a question, inadvertantly reduces the price from seventeen thousand total to thirteen thousand. Some Troopers enter the cantina, and Ben and Corey sneak out the back door. It turns out that these Troopers have spotted Corey's hovercar, but the only reason they're interested is to inform the owner that one of the tailights is broken. Jim and Chewbacca realize they need to get themselves a ship.
Outside, Corey wants to get some blue milk, but Ben tells him it's not as important as he was told. Corey also wants to know why the people in the cantina reacted the way they did when he mentioned moisture farming. Ben advises Corey not to believe everything his "parents" told him. Corey decides that they must've been farming something else, but what he can't figure out.
In the cantina, Jim is approached by an alien pointing a blaster at him. The alien introduces himself as Han Solo (actually the film's Greedo), captain of the ship the Millenium Falcon. Solo explains the blaster is just a precaution, and offers to pilot the Falcon for Jim and his passengers. Jim asks if Han Solo can pretend to be the cabin boy while Jim pretends to be the captain. Solo refuses, telling him no one captains the Millenium Falcon but Han Solo. Jim tells him that can be arranged, then suddenly draws his own blaster and shoots Han Solo in cold blood. Jim drops his Space Italian accent.
On board the Peace Moon, Darth Vader, Tarkin, and General Tagge discuss the fact that the Senate is meeting in closed session. Tagge keeps changing the opinions he's voicing about the Senate, clearly terrified of offending Vader, who keeps saying conflicting things of Vader's own about the Senate.
At Mos Eisley, Clone Troopers knock on the door of a house, asking if there are any droids there. Sally emerges and tells them there aren't. The Troopers believe her (even though C-3PO is quite obviously a droid) and leave. Sally asks Pete why he cares so much about the dreadnought. Pete explains that it's his, and that if he gives up now, it wins. Sally tells him he can't control the things he loves, that the bulkheads of the dreadnought are being used to house people now, and it's time to let go. Pete resignedly agrees, consoling himself that Mos Eisley is now a bustling hive of scum and villainy, a thriving market town, all thanks to his dreadnought.
Corey sells his hovercar to Wioslea. He tries to haggle on the price, but Wioslea won't offer anything other than 2000 credits, half its value. Ben advises Corey to take it. He asks Corey for more information on the mission, explaining that he knows they have to take the plans to Senator Jar Jar Binks on Naboo, but he doesn't know why. Corey recalls something Sally said to him about the Peace Moon being a weapon powerful enough to destroy a whole planet. Ben realizes to his horror that that must mean that the Empire has the Lost Orb of Phanastacoria, and that it's being used to power the Peace Moon. As he mentions the Orb, Corey remembers that part too.
Jabba approaches the Millenium Falcon, requesting to speak to Han Solo. Jim steps forward claiming to be Han Solo. Jabba believes him, because apparently the Real Han Solo was a shapeshifter, and Jabba assumes that Jim is a new shape Han has turned into. Jabba reminds Jim of a debt Han owes him. 32 years ago, Han had advised Jabba to bet heavily on Sebulba, telling Jabba that Sebulba was a sure thing because Sebulba had sabotaged the one pod faster than his own. Jabba explains that Sebulba lost, but because Han's son was murdered that same day, Jabba can forgive the delay, but not the debt. Jim tells him of his job to pilot the players to Naboo, and claims they'll pay him 5000 credits. Jabba tells him that will do for a start, and asks when Han can be back. Jim truthfully can't say since the job came with no questions asked. Jabba warns Jim not to think he can hide from Jabba just because he's a shapeshifter.
Corey and Ben reunite with Sally and Pete as they go off to the spaceport to meet Jim and Chewbacca. Corey wants to know why all the Clone Troopers they've met are such total idiots. Ben explains that their clone father had installed a failsafe in them in the event of his death. Jango Fett thought it would kill them, but all it really killed was their connection to the Force, which has left them extremely suggestable unless they're controlled by a strong Force user. The way Ben says this indicates that he realizes there's a sinister implication in this.
The 4 players meet Jim and Chewbacca at the Millenium Falcon. Jim announces that he just found out he was adopted and that his real name is Han Solo. When Corey asks him what happened to his accent, Jim only replies, "What accent?" Everyone except Jim has gone onboard, when suddenly Garindan leads a squad of Troopers into the spaceport, ordering the Troopers to stop them. Jim fires on them and rushes onboard. He asks which way to the bridege. Ben points out the trail of duct tape labled, "This way to the bridge". He and Chewbacca desperately try to get the Falcon started, which neither of them have ever been on board before, while trying to pretend to the others that they know all about flying it. Somehow they manage to get the Falcon in orbit, but they're approached by two Imperial Star Destroyers who begin firing on them. Through trial and error (including Jim frantically mashing on every control he can get his hands on) they're finally able to get the Falcon safely into hyperspace.
On board the Peace Moon, Darth Vader has Annie brought before Vader and Tarkin. Vader explains that the Senate has decided that a show of force from the Peace Moon's planet-destroying weapon should be enough to crush the Rebellion. Annie replies that Senator Binks would never allow that. Vader tells her that Binks was in the minority, and has gone to the surface of Naboo, unfortunately for him, since it's Naboo that is to be the planet to be destroyed. Tarkin objects, but backs down when Vader invokes the authority of the Senate. Vader also tells Annie that Vader's had her blood tested, and has learned that her real name is Leia. Annie is shocked that Vader would know that, since only she and her adoptive parents knew. Vader explains that the Polis Massa medical staff revealed certain information after some... persuasion. Vader tells her that she's not the Organas' daughter. Annie retorts that she's known that since she was six, and that's she proud of the fact her true parents were heroes who died fighting the likes of Vader. Vader tells her that she's actually Vader's daughter. Annie protests that's not true, that's impossible. Vader tells her to search her DNA report, she knows it to be true. Her response is a one-word denial. She begs Vader, if Vader's really her father, not to destroy Naboo. Vader tells her she doesn't know what ills this planet has visited on their family, that it has borne its mortal wound long enough, crippled by the Trade Federation, reborn but imperfect, a world that holds great pain and an unforgivable crime, that with its destruction, their sins shall be erased. Vader orders the weapon fired, and Naboo is destroyed. The players are all shocked speechless by this atrocity. Only Pete has anythihng to say: "You. Utter. Frakking. Bastard."