Branch Closing Quotes

:Jim: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. "Dwight, at 8 A.M. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight."
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:Michael: It is... an outrage, that's all. It's... they are making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Josh replace these people. Let's see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well, they don't, there is no Stanley Tree. You think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm... with Phyllises and Kevins... sprouting up all over the place, ripe for the plucking... show me that farm.
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:Ryan: It makes perfect sense that it would happen today, because I just received this in the mail: a thousand business cards with this address and phone number.
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:Angela: I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame.
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:Kelly: If I could just say, if Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself! Like Romeo and Juliet... the Claire Danes one.
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:Stanley: I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna take the severance and retire, my wife and I are gonna travel. I really couldn't be happier!
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:Ryan: This kinda worked out perfectly for me. I got some good experience, Michael's gonna write me a great recommendation, and as far as me and Kelly goes, it's... for the best.
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:Jim: Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that.
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:Jan: What's going on here?
:Phyllis: We know the branch is closing. Michael told us.
:Jan: Oh, God. OK, you know what, everybody? I'm sure there is a better way to do this, but I've driven something like 400 miles today and I'm completely exhausted, so, I'm just gonna tell you. Your branch is not closing, Stamford is closing. For the time being, it seems that all of your jobs are safe.
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:Dwight: Who is it?
:Michael: The office.
:Dwight: You gonna get it?
:Michael: No. Not until I have some good news for them. [Unaware the call delivered the "good news" he was holding out for] Not until I have some good news.
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:Michael: This was such a stupid idea. I am so stupid. I am such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down, everybody hates me, I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!
:Dwight: Oh my God!
:Michael: What?
:Dwight: Stamford is closed! Michael, we're not closed, Stamford is closed! Stamford is closed...
:Michael: We did it? We did it...
:Dwight: We did it!
:Together: WE DID IT!
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:Michael: How did we do it?
:Dwight: I don't know, I have no idea...
:Michael: I don't understand...
Category:Season 3 quotes