The Return of BlackJack

The Return of BlackJack is the fortieth episode, the twenty-second episode, and the season finale of Season Two in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
BlackJack escapes Bikini Bottom prison, and promises that he wants to bond with SpongeBob when he suddenly arrives in Fancyland. But is that really his motive?
==Synopsis==
Immediately continuing from the last episode, the large guy in the ski mask, revealed to be BlackJack, is seen arriving at SpongeBob’s golden pineapple.
“Time for payment, sponge kid…” he says to himself.
BlackJack stops and parks his motorcycle, and rings SpongeBob’s house’s doorbell. Gary immediately hisses.
“Oh, Gary, I’m sure it’s just the wind again,” SpongeBob reassures him, until he opens up the door to reveal BlackJack. “COUSIN BLACKJACK!”
“Hush, sponge puppy, I don’t want to get caught again.”
“I thought you were in jail for littering,” SpongeBob says.
“Uhh… yeah, littering, let’s go with that. Anyway, I decided I wanted to hang out with you, little dude.”
“Really?”
“Sure, little man. Some bonding time with your ol’ uncle BlackJack. I don’t have a place to stay so why not stay here?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Cool, little man.” BlackJack gives SpongeBob a noogie, and heads inside. “Wow, that sure is a lot of riches you got there.”
“Yeah,” SpongeBob replies sheepishly. “We do live in Fancyland after all.”
“Perfect…”
“Perfect what?”
“N-nothing.”
SpongeBob starts getting suspicious of BlackJack’s presence, but heads upstairs to his bedroom to take a shower regardless. BlackJack starts looking around the room, taking note of everything valuable. He looks at a golden vase.
“Hmm… that vase looks very valuable.”
He sees that several objects in the room are golden.
“Call me 24kGoldn, because I'm in a mood!”
BlackJack hesitates for a moment. “He can't be done with a shower that quickly, right?”
He approaches the golden vase, picks it up, and hauls it into his bag. “Score!”
“Playing football over there, BlackJack?” SpongeBob asks.
BlackJack panics and rushes back inside.
“Uhh… sure, kid, that's what I was doing.”
“Yeah, that sports room sure is nifty. I've never even played cricket before.”
Cricket noises are heard.
“So anyway, it's getting late. Why don't we watch a movie? I got them in the new 16K format!”
“Yeah, little man, let's watch something.” He then says to himself, “and steal some stuff while I'm at it.”
SpongeBob approaches a drawer full of movies.
“So… which one… Cloudy with a Chance of Krabby Patties?”
“Nah…”
“Seaweed Squad? Oh no, ew. How about The Fast and the Fishiest?”
“Perfect, little man. You know what they say, violence is always the answer- I mean what?” BlackJack blurts out.
SpongeBob glares at BlackJack for a second, and then he inserts the disc into the movie player. On the widescreen TV on the wall, the movie starts.
In the movie, a guy runs over a pedestrian, and the camera cuts to SpongeBob’s reaction to it, which is covering his eyes. BlackJack, on the other hand, is enjoying the scene.
“Heheh, the guy probably deserved it,” BlackJack says.
“You're crazy, cousin BlackJack,” SpongeBob says, opening his eyes back up, but quickly putting his hands back on his eyes when he sees what's on screen.
“Yeah, go for the eye socket!”
“Oh, fish paste, I forgot to make the popcorn!” SpongeBob gets up from the couch to get a bag of microwave golden buttered popcorn, which he inserts into a microwave.
“Maybe now is my chance…” BlackJack says to himself. He starts to get up to steal the TV, but SpongeBob is already back with the popcorn.
“Wow, that microwave cooks stuff fast. Uhh… I'm not even gonna ask. Anyways, I got popcorn. Golden butter.” SpongeBob says.
BlackJack instantly gets back onto the couch and continues watching the movie.
(Two hours later…)
SpongeBob yawns and stretches as the credits roll.
“That was… an interesting movie,” he says sleepily. “I gotta go to bed before I sleep right on the couch.” He laughs tiredly and goes up to his bedroom. “Feel free to sleep wherever, cousin BlackJack.”
“Oh I will… little man.”
BlackJack then laughs maniacally, and starts stashing random golden items from SpongeBob’s pineapple into his sack.
SpongeBob soon starts snoring upstairs, and starts to dream of Krabby Patties. Meanwhile, BlackJack decides he has taken enough things, and sneaks out of the pineapple. He heads off on his motorcycle.
At the crack of dawn, a clam indicates the new day, and SpongeBob wakes up and stretches. “Morning, Gare Bear,” he says sleepily.
“Meow?!”
“Yeah, that's just my cousin BlackJa-?!”
SpongeBob notices that his alarm clock is missing.
“Not my alarm clock! Everyone knows that's the only thing that wakes me up!”
“Meow.”
“Yeah, I know that’s really stupid, Gary, but it's true! I've got to get my old alarmy back.”
“Meow.”
“Don't backsass me, Gary, or you won't be having a triple goldenberry sunrise for dessert today.”
“Meow, meow…” Gary slithers away.
Bubble transition to BlackJack, who is now inside an empty dumpster.
“Heheheh, nobody's gonna find me in this dumpster. Those slobs wouldn't ever think to check in here! In the dump!”
“I can hear you, you know,” the dump employee says.
“Drat! Gotta change course of action.”
BlackJack gets out of the dumpster and hops into an abandoned portable toilet.
“You're disgusting,” the dump employee remarks.
“You're disgusting for taking up this job!”
The dump employee cries and runs away.
Cut back to SpongeBob outside, who has called the police on BlackJack.
“We're not seeing him anywhere,” a cop says to SpongeBob.
“Yeah, I have no idea where he went off to,” SpongeBob says.
“Well you're out of luck kid… is what we would say if we didn't have UGPSes!”
“UGPSes?”
“Ultra GPS. It's just like GPS but for billionaires.”
“Sweet. So you can use it to track down BlackJack?”
“BlackJack? I've heard that name somewhere, but I don't know where. Anyway, the search for him starts now.”
Another officer starts using the UGPS, and already finds a signal to BlackJack.
“That was quick. He's at the local dump,” the officer says.
“Really? The dump? Nobody would dare go in there,” the first officer says back.
“Exactly,” the second officer replies. “That's how criminals do their… dirty work.”
“I see what you did there.”
“Well what are we waiting for? I really need my stuff back. He stole all of my food too!” SoongeBob says.
Bubble transition back to the dump, where BlackJack is still hiding in the portable bathroom.
“I really need to pee. Wait, what am I saying? I can go right here.”
BlackJack is heard unzipping his jeans and starts using the toilet.
The two officers, along with SpongeBob, have arrived at the dump.
“Where could he possibly be in all this junk?” SpongeBob asks. “This dump is huge!”
“Don't worry, kid, we got this. The cool thing about UGPS is that it tracks the person’s DNA,” the first officer tells him.
“That's a little concerning,” SpongeBob remarks.
“Yeah, but let's not get into the controversies.”
The officer takes a closer look at the UGPS, and sees BlackJack’s exact coordinates.
“Bingo,” he says. “Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.”
“Not just yet,” the other officer says. “We gotta actually get him first.”
“Riiight, I knew that.”
The two officers start following BlackJack’s DNA trail. From BlackJack’s perspective, footsteps are heard coming closer and closer to him.
“Crud, they're here,” he says to himself. “Time to pull out plan B.”
BlackJack gets out of the portable toilet and pulls out a gun.
“What a free country we live in. I can kill anyone at any time of the day.”
“Freeze, criminal!” an officer shouts.
BlackJack laughs. “Freeze? How about YOU freeze and realize who you're dealing with?”
“We're dealing with a criminal, you ain't new to us.”
“For Neptune’s sake, I'm just trying to make some money to live in a good home. You guys understand, right?” BlackJack says.
“Not really. You're under arrest for burglary.” The officers start approaching him, but BlackJack shoots his gun at them. One of the officers shoots his gun at BlackJack, leaving a literal hole in his head.
“Ha, good thing I'm a sponge!”
“A dirty looking sponge at that,” the other officer remarks.
BlackJack cocks his gun at the officer. “What did you just say?”
“I said you're looking quite fat- I MEAN-”
“Alright, THAT’S IT!”
BlackJack starts strangling the officer, making his face turn purple.
“Do… something…” the officer struggles to say.
The other officer attempts to handcuff BlackJack, but he pushes the handcuffs straight back into his face.
“That's gonna leave a mark…” the officer says.
“Hahaha, looks like my work here is done,” BlackJack says with confidence, and throws the officer he had in a chokehold far off into the dump. “No one can stop me now!” He starts flexing his muscles, until he sees SpongeBob.
“Little man! You'd understand a guy needs a place to live, right?”
“Oh, I understand, cousin BlackJack. Understand that you need to be put behind bars!” SpongeBob remarks back. He pulls a part of his head off, shapes it into a pair of handcuffs, and uses them on BlackJack. “Extra porous for more tightness.”
“You… you… Ugh, I got nothing.”
“That's what I thought.”
“I'll take him from here, SpongeBob,” the lone officer says.
“Curses… foiled once again,” BlackJack says in defeat.
“Will BlackJack ever return again? Does he have another plan up his sleeve? And why does this cheesecake taste so good? These questions will all be answered next time! Well, except that last one, because I know the recipe.” The narrator takes another bite of the cheesecake. “I made it myself.”
A “The End” card shows up briefly before the episode ends.
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