Space Girlfriend

Space Tree takes his new hot girlfriend to the Space Captain's Club to try and impress his peers. Things go pretty well for the most part.
== Transcript ==
(opening credits)
(cut to Space Tree's Ship, Standing Bay)
Commander: (Comes in panting) Space Tree, come quick, there's some kind of creature attacking the ship! (Runs away, comes back) Oh my God Space Tree, it's starting on the wing, we're done for! (Runs away, comes back) Jesus ****ing Christ its tearing up the whole wing and eating it, what the ****!! We're gonna die! We're--
Space Tree: Will you calm down? We're gonna be fine.
Commander: Fine? Lets see how fine we are when we're... catapulted... into the... space --
Space Tree: Look, that thing out there is my girlfriend, alright? So you can relax.
Commander: Your...Your girlfriend? Seriously?
Space Tree: Yeah. She does look pretty hot though, right? When she's like, chewing into metal?
Commander: Y-Y-You're joking, right?
Space Tree: Oh, I get it. It's just so hard to believe that Space Tree could have a girlfriend, right? Yeah. Oh hey, here she comes now.
Jenalisha: (Comes in from left, makes noises)
Commander: What the hell?
Space Tree: Commander, meet Jenalisha.
Commander: Uh, Hell-Hello, there...
(Jenalisha grabs him, makes noises)
Commander: What??
Space Tree: She wants a hug Commander, stop being such a dick about it.
Commander: But really, I don't --
(Jenalisha pulls him close, makes noises)
Commander: (Grossed out) Ugh, uh, are-are we nearly done?
Jenalisha: All right. (Throws commander to the floor) I have to go get ready. (exit stage left)
Space Tree: OK honey, you-you do that. So, not bad, eh Commander?
Commander: (Stands up slowly) I think I need to go and uh, burn my skin off, because that was gross.
Space Tree: Yeah, I knew you'd be jealous.
Commander: I'm not jealous.
Space Tree: You're jealous.
Commander: Look, I have a girlfriend, y'know...
Space Tree: Yeah, sure you do.
Commander: I do.
Space Tree: Well then what's her name?
Commander: Her name is xxxPinkFrosting88xxx.
Space Tree: Did you say "Sexsexsex"?
Commander: No, no, x, like 3 x's. Like the letter.
Space Tree: Oh. So she's uh -
Commander: Yeah, I met her on the internet. I said it. And in fact I'm meeting her on there for a hot date later tonight.
Space Tree: Yeah, well, uh good luck with that. Jenalisha you're back!
Jenalisha: I'm ready.
Commander: Oh God, no, don't come any - AAAHHH!! (Backs up and falls out a window)
Jenalisha: Is he alright?
Space Tree: Yeah he'll be fine, don't worry about him. So anyway honey, it's time to go to the Space Captains Club.
Jenalisha: All right. (Rips Space Tree's right branch off)
(Screen transition in the shape of a heart to the SCC. There is a banner over the door reading "AT THE SPACE CAPTIONS CLUB". Space Tree enters alone)
Christopher 1: Oh look who just walked into the Captain's Club brother.
Christopher 2: Oh who is it brother?
Christopher 1: Looks to me like it's Captain Space Tree. Heh. If I didn't have a wine glass in my hand right now I would have made air quotes when I said the word Captain.
Christopher 1: As would I brother, as would I.
Space Tree: Hey guys, 's goin on. Christopher 1.
Christopher 1: Hello.
Space Tree: Christopher 2.
Christopher 2: Hello, "Captain", heh-heh-heh.
Christopher 1: Yes that's enough Chris. So Space Tree, we haven't seen you around here in a while. What brings you to our humble little Captain's Club on this evening?
Space Tree: Well tonight's a special occasion. See, I brought my fiancé with me here. Tonight, here.
Christopher 1: Fiancé, you say. Well, I take it she's standing here with us right now, huh.
Christopher 2: Ha ha, yes, like she's imaginary.
Christopher 1: Yes, Chris, that was the joke.
Space Tree: Well actually, here she comes right now.
(The sign over the door now says AT THE SPACE CARTONS CLUB.)
Jenalisha: (Hops through the door and waves) Hello.
Christopher 1: Oh my, well she is some hot stuff Space Tree.
Christopher 2: Indeed.
Christopher 1: If I wasn't holding a wine glass right now, I would be giving you the thumbs up.
Christopher 2: I'd be giving you DOUBLE thumbs up.
Christopher 1: Yes.
Space Tree: Well thanks. Hey, it looks like she wants to sing me a love song on stage.
Christopher 1: Well aren't you lucky.
Space Tree: Go on honey, we're listening.
(Jenalisha begins 'singing'.) 
Jenalisha: And I... I... Iiii...
(Then a gunshot is fired, killing her. Black Kid steps in.)
Black Kid: Because I like to rock! (He then shoots himself with the Staple Gun)
Space Tree: Whoa. That's a pretty good finale, right?
Christopher 1: Yes, your fiancé is quite talented.
Christopher 2: She sure is.
Space Tree: Yeah.
(The camera shows the stage, where Jenalisha lies dead.)
Christopher 1: Uh, I think she's dead, Space Tree.
Space Tree: Yeah... yeah, I noticed that too.
Christopher 1: Well, that's a shame.
Space Tree: Yeah. Yeah, well, I can always build another one.
Christopher 1: Build? What do you mean?
Space Tree: Well, you didn't think she was born like that, right? What, are you stupid?
Christopher 1: No -
Christopher 2: A little bit.
Space Tree: I just pieced her together from parts I found laying around.
Christopher 1: Well I can relate to that, you know.
Space Tree: Oh really?
Christopher 1: Yes. You see my brother here, is actually a robot.
Space Tree: Oh.
Christopher 2: (alarmed) What?? You're joking, right?
Christopher 1: No, it's true. I built you, you're a robot.
Christopher 2: No, I'm not.
Christopher 1: Yes you are.
Christopher 2: But I have the skin --
Christopher 1: Oh, you've got organic skin, but inside your body and especially up in your brain, it's pure robotics.
Christopher 2: No no, I... GET THIS ROBOT BRAIN OUT OF MY HEAD!!! AAAAHHH!!! (stabs forehead with wineglass)
Christopher 1: (Snickers) You fall for that joke every time, brother.
Christopher 2: What? Oh. It was joke.
Christopher 1: Yeah, you fall for it --
Christopher 2: Every time, yeah. Yes. Oh.
Christopher 1: Ever since we were kids, see? (Holds up 'memoriez' photo album)
(A picture shows a very young Christopher 2 with a wine glass in his face while Christopher 1 watches, amused)
Christopher 1: Look at this.
Christopher 2: Right.
Space Tree: Well, my girlfriend's dead, and it looks like we're the only ones in the whole Captains Club.
Christopher 1: Yes, that's true.
Christopher 2: Yeah.
Christopher 1: We really should advertise this place more, brother. Remember to bring that up at the next meeting.
Space Tree: So uh, I'm gunna leave.
Christopher 1: OK.
Space Tree: See you next time I have a girlfriend to try to impress you with.
Christopher 1: Yes, well job well done this time.
Space Tree: K, see ya. (exit Space to the Tree)
Christopher 2: Don't come back! Heh-heh-heh.
Christopher 1: He's already gone, Chris.
Christopher 2: Oh really? I actually can't see anything right now.
Christopher 1: Oh, because of the -
Christopher 2: Because of the head wound.
Christopher 1: Right.
Christopher 2: Yes.
Christopher 1: Well, y'know Space Tree was right about something, this place is empty.
Christopher 2: I know.
Christopher 1: Y'know what? Next week we're opening it to the public.
Christopher 2: Good idea.
(ONE WEEK LATER appears on the screen, as spoken. The sign in the club now reads THE ALL Welcome! CLUB. Credits Roll.)
Christopher 2: (Now with bandages on forehead) Well, this was a stupid idea.
Christopher 1: Well you've got a robot brain.
Christopher 2: OH NO!! (Stabs self with glass again)
(roll end credits)
== Fun Facts ==
* First appearance of the Christophers
* <3 is a cyber heart.
* When Space Tree enters the club, the text above the doorway reads "AT THE SPACE CAPTIONS CLUB". When Jenalisha enters, "CAPTIONS" is replaced with "CARTONS".
== References: ==
* Jenalisha is presumably attempting to sing 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston.
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