Nettie Machete/Relationships

==Relationships==
===Romantic Interests===
====Spouse/Mistresses====
Jordan SteeleNettie's Husband - 10 years prior
"If you look at my sweet Nettie Machete like that, I'm gonna punch you in the throat, I'm gonna throw a tomahawk at you." - Jordan Nettie's formerly estranged husband. Nettie first began dating Jordan while they were EMS and PD respectively. Their initial engagement lasted several months and brought significant turmoil to both departments as people scrambled to break them up because they assumed he was abusing her. Ironically, the majority of their abuse was directed to those external to their relationship, with Nettie leveraging Jordan's reputation for being a blustering asshole as a shield from criticism for her own personal gaffes. Their original intentions for asking each other out served dual purposes. On Nettie's end she wanted to get revenge on her fiancé, Jerry Callow, as part of a twisted plot to ruin his life for stealing a previous girlfriend. She had also been contacted by Jordan's two wives who wanted her to seduce him to give them ammunition for their divorces. On Jordan's end he wanted to cuck Jerry for banging his wife. He also intended to use the relationship with Nettie to bruise his wife's frail ego and punish her for the infidelity. Ironically, Nettie and Jordan ended up falling for each other in their own way. With both of them being narcissistic psychopaths, they're prone to dragging strangers into their twisted games of jealously where they deliberately parade implied acts of infidelity to each other to induce over-protective and violent rage reactions from one another. Nettie's relationship with Jordan may, or may not, have indirectly lead to several murders and dozens of relationships being homewrecked merely to satiate their desire to make others miserable for their own amusement; who's to say?
Stephanie McMichealsSecretary/Mistress
"This is my straight girlfriend, Stephanuh. Wait, actually are you straight? Don't answer that, it's better if I don't know." - Nettie Nettie's personal stylist. She first found Stephanie in the directory when looking for someone to help her make an outfit for a date that never materialized. Enjoying Stephanie's brutally direct candor, Nettie decided to offer her a job as her secretary. Unfortunately, she discovered that Stephanie had several violent felonies on her record thanks to a chance encounter with Mike Block. Feeling undeterred, Nettie resolved to pay her out of pocket rather than putting her on the EMS payroll for the time being. Nettie would later solicit Stephanie's services by asking her to draft a poem to help her seduce Seraphina Dior after she said Nettie's voice and face was cute. After writing the poem Nettie came up with an elaborate plan to fake a 311 call, have Seraphina arrive, then have Stephanie ambush her and read the poem on the spot while Nettie watched with binoculars. As part of the plan Nettie asked that Stephanie request a make-out session with Seraphina to confirm her interest in going on a date with Nettie - to which Seraphina compromised by giving Stephanie a forehead kiss. Days later Seraphina would flake on her friend date with Nettie, so Nettie jokingly went on a date with Stephanie instead. While at Tequi-la-la, Nettie peer pressured Stephanie into breaking her 8 month sobriety, negged her for having a small chest, gaslit her into wanting a boob job, and made vague promises of buying her implants and marrying her in 4-6 months. Afterwards Nettie disguised Stephanie as herself in a bridesmaid outfit for Skylar Quinn's wedding and then they ended up hooking up on a shitty boat outside of her office.
====Ex-Partners====
Dr. MartellNettie's Ex-fiancé - 10 years prior
"Her face makes people crash... because of how beautiful she is. Oh god, I fucking hate my life dude!" - Tracy Martell An emotionally unstable firebrand, Martell was Nettie's first long-term relationship in Los Santos and was, ironically enough, her most stable one. Nettie and Martell had a volatile and emotionally abusive relationship that often times saw the couple delving into elaborate schemes to test their loyalty to one another. Martell was rightfully obsessed with the idea that she was eventually going to lose Nettie to another women and thus was extremely aggressive in chasing them off. Nettie found her jealous tirades and unstable mood swings to be incredibly hot and would often deliberately cheat just to trigger one of Martell's episodes. This often lead to Martell summarily breaking up with Nettie on the spot, as to protect her own pride, but she would almost always cave in and immediately attempt to mend the bridge - often handwaving her own psychotic outbursts and threats of homicide as being, "Just a J." Martell's jealous outbursts would often range from violent threats, rumor mongering, petty pranks, vandalism, and attempts to get Nettie fired so she could have more control over the relationship. This relationship with Martell eventually lead to Nettie developing a "type", where she now finds jealousy incredibly attractive and thinks that true love can't exist in it's absence. Ever since dating Martell, she has developed a strong preference towards women with accents, backgrounds in medicine, blunt personalities, and a willingness to play along with her shenanigans at the expense of others.
Jerry CallowNettie's Ex-fiancé - 10 years prior
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Nettie!" - Jerry Nettie's former fiancé prior to being married to Jordan. Jerry became the target of Nettie's torment when he unwittingly wooed a woman that Nettie had only recently just begun dating. Having become invested in the prospects of finally having a healthy relationship, Nettie became enraged at the idea of losing another woman to a man and swore her revenge. Several months later Nettie went back into the closet, for unrelated reasons, and began gaslighting Jerry into unwittingly be her beard. Unbeknownst to Jerry, Nettie was leveraging this as an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone and intended to get revenge by framing him for domestic violence, getting him disbarred, and ultimately having one of her bridesmaids murder him on their wedding night. Fortunately for Jerry, he had been caught cheating on Nettie with one of Jordan's wives. This changed the calculus of Nettie's plans and she decided a more poetic way to get revenge was to simulate having a loved one be stolen by a man by pretending to be wooed by Jordan and going on a date with him to emotionally wound Jerry.
====Notable Crushes====
Quimbley HayabusaMedical Dictator
"Okay, listen, all I'm saying is the last time a doctor was trying this hard to get me fired, she wanted to hate-fuck me. So I'm thinkin' there's a good chance that's what's going on here." - Nettie Enemies to good friends. Quimbley, or Q as her friends call her, is the Medical Director of the hospital. Nettie initially had an intense crush on Q after first meeting her, as she found Q's voice soothing and claimed that Q had the "gentlest evil eyes" that she'd ever seen. Nettie eventually decided against romantically pursuing Quimbley as, despite the physical attraction, she wasn't Nettie's "type"; being a bisexual, tatted up, former stripper, with a boyfriend and kids. Nettie enjoyed her rapport with Q to such an extent that she was strongly considering transferring departments to work under her as a doctor up until an incident that saw her being accused of Mayhem, which caused several of the doctors aggressively throw her under the bus. Due to the ferocity of Quimbley's sudden heel-turn, Nettie's PTSD from dating Dr. Martell caused her to briefly believe that the only logical reason for Q to be trying this hard to get her fired was because Q wanted to hate-fuck her. After 3 weeks, Nettie's charges were eventually dropped at the 11th hour before her trial, and she was reinstated as EMS Command - to the significant displeasure of Quimbley and the other doctors. Nettie decided to give the doctors, particularly Q, a wide breadth for a few weeks to let things cool off. Eventually they did when Nettie and Quimbley ended up bonding over mocking another medic for forcibly giving a patient a hot chocolate enema as an alternative medicine treatment for stomach worms. In late February, Nettie brought Q to her office for a private sit-down to talk about the state of EMS, the hospital, and people abusing the ICU. During the meeting they bonded over their resentment of people being "fucking idiots" in the hospital. Nettie then made a pitch to form an Observation Unit to supplement the ICU and lessen the work load for doctors. Q and her Chiefs loved the proposal so much that they began implementing the policy within 24 hours of Nettie's pitch.
Dina DelmonicaDr. Babe
"You're not my secret girlfriend, shut up! (laughs) You're so stupid, Jesus Christ." - Dina One of Quimbley's three Chiefs of Medicine, Dina is an observant and intelligent woman that Nettie took a liking to shortly after she began working at the hospital.
Mona Lisa1950s Housewife
"What kind of games are you playin' with me, Nettie?" - Mona An entrepreneur from Jersey, Mona is an Italian-American woman that Nettie first met during a chance encounter at the hospital after Mona had won a dating show. Having one of the most beautiful faces Nettie had ever seen, she began crushing on her and jokingly implied that they should roleplay as closeted 1950s housewives; a reference to the King Princess song of the same name. Having forgotten to get Mona's phone number before she departed from the hospital, Nettie began snooping around and asking if anyone knew who won a recent dating show and was later tipped of by Umber that it was their business partner, Mona, and that they were the co-owners of the VU. Annoyed at the notion of being attracted to another stripper, Nettie called Mona on Valentines Day to formally touch base and said she'll leave it up to fate if they cross paths again. Several weeks later, while Nettie introduced EMS command members to her new secretary, Stephanie McMicheals, Mona stubbled upon Nettie's new home office after seeing an ambulance parked outside of the building. Nettie then confronted Mona and implied that she was stalking her. After a brief altercation, Nettie had had Stephanie evaluate Mona to gauge her trustworthiness before they continued with the command meeting. Eventually they received a call on the radio to treat a patient and Nettie offered to bring Mona along for the show, but had to carry her as they didn't have enough seats in ambulance. Once on scene Nettie pulled Mona aside and flirted with her some more before telling her that she was free to leave if she was bored, causing Mona to ask Nettie to watch her as she walked away.
Seraphina Dior
Phoebe FinchSweet Thing
"She definitely likes you, you should ask her out sometime." - Cole
===Friends===
====Close Friends====
Louis BatonFormer Employee - 10 years prior
"Maaaan, they've got therapy for everything fun these days. Drugs, alcohol, video games. Just because they've got therapy for it doesn't mean it's bad. Anyways, you down to go gambling later?" - Louie Louie is a former lot employee who worked under Nettie, Jordan, Copperpot, and Apples for Steele Security. Moonlighting as a petty criminal, Louie frequently got up the various high jinx with Apples as his right hand man which frequently saw him being dragged into hair-brained schemes and doomed-to-fail plans that often saw them getting arrested for frivolous reasons. Late in the lifecycle of the company, Louie and Nettie bonded over their increasing disdain for Apple's incompetence and would frequently sidebar to make backup plans and brainstorm excuses to weasel out participating in particularly stupid schemes and grifts. Eventually Louie would become so fed up with Apples, that he stole a page from his book and faked his own death; skipping town in the process and not even telling his other close friends, such as Nettie or Copperpot, that he was still alive.
William ColeUnofficial PD Liaison
A Corporal with the LSSD, Cole befriended Nettie the day she found out she accidentally found out she had a warrant for mayhem over PD dispatch. Thinking "that shit was fucked up", he took it upon himself to leak details related to her case and tipped her off on the most efficient way to turn herself in and find a solid lawyer. In the weeks following her return to service after a suspension, Cole became Nettie's unofficial personal point of contact within PD and she began to frequently reach out to him for advice when seeking to resolve, or clarify the details of, interdepartmental conflict between PD and EMS.
HobbsK9 Wingman
A PD trained K9 unit, Nettie first met Hobbs at the Sand Shores police station while riding with Sean Heather and Rick Clemintine. Sean and Rick insisted that Hobbs hop in the backseat to Nettie's dismay, as she hates dogs, and he spent the entire trip cuddling against her. Numerous times during the ride she attempted to find an excuse to kick the dog out of the moving car, but she relented due to Sean and Rick's protests. Nettie eventually warmed up to Hobbs after being swarmed by several women who wanted to pet him while they were at the bank to collect a paycheck. Having an epiphany that she can use him to "get some digits" from women, Nettie began claiming that she loves dogs and that Hobbs belonged to her fictional dead brother, Calvin. Following the interaction at the bank she began training Hobbs to find hot babes for her to seduce.
===Co-Workers===
====High Command====
Tobi RiggsChief
Bernard DinksAssistant Chief
====SAFR====
Honey Beaumont"My Number One Guy"
Lynn HarteInterim HR
Tre-CProbably Dead
====LSFD====
Kris Brooks-ReidIn the Closet
"I'm not in the closet! I've banged women, Nettie!" - Kris
Skylar QuinnIn a Weird Sex Cult
"That's a little too gay for me, Skylar." - Nettie
====SASP====
Jack DanielsOncall Sniper
Sean HeatherSurgical Nurse
Sargon Untman"My Number One Guy"