Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (The Private Reviewer)

(The title sequence play; open on a shot of a brick wall with a flier on it reading "Welcome Survivors of '90s Kids Films")
Guy: (offscreen) So, Kiki, how's your bad feeling?
(Cut to inside. The crew is seen standing around and chatting, some drinking from a punch bowl nearby)
Kiki: Well, thanks to the delivery service, I found out she has several dangers.
The Private Reviewer: Oh, wow.
Kiki: Yeah, but, thankfully, those many birds attacked me, thought I was an egg stealer; also with a few storms almost struck and blew me down in the sky; Jiji had no longer to speak and my witch's powers are going to lose and then my broom breaks down; and literally saved my boy from the airship that crashed down during the climax sequence.
(PR nods)
Guy: Well, that's got to be sprouting a flower in (turns to Mayzie McGrew) your head. Am I right, Mayzie McGrew?
Mayzie: Well, after being chased by many bees until the officer protects me from them, I think I'd prefer the drop dead therapy.
(Everyone laughs)
PR: Man, this is so grinchy impression! I had no idea there were so many survivors of '90s kids films! Thanks for inviting me to this, Guy.
Guy: Well, you know, I had an invite.
PR: Yeah, I was gonna ask, what's that for?
(Suddenly, the sound of applause gets their attention. On a stage, an alien (from We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story) flies up to the podium on the stage)
PR: Ooh, one of those weirdos from We're Back!
Vorb: Greetings, survivors of the dark and colorful time known as the '90s. (Everyone laughs) It is time to hand out our awards. The winner of "Disney Survivor in an Emotional '90s Kids Film" is… The Lion King herself, Simba.
(Everyone applauds as adult Simba (in cartoon form, a la Who Framed Roger Rabbit) steps up to the podium)
Simba: Thank you all so much. I know that I dedicate this award to Disney's emotional scene of my father being killed when I was a cub. I mean, seriously, who names their cool Scar? Thank you.
(Everyone applauds)
Vorb: And now, the winner of "The Sheep Pig Survivor"... Babe.
(Everyone applauds again as Babe, represented by a pig with an South Park-esque face on it, appears on the podium)
Someone in the crowd: Bravo!
Babe: Thanks, everybody. I just hope this brings awareness to the dangers of Mitchell dogs, killing the old one, and also that cat told me it was a shocking story during the outage.
PR: (to Guy, sotto voice) How awkwardly sensitive.
Vorb: And now, the honorary award for the only underrated villain in any of these dark medieval Disney musical classics...
(Cut to a shot of said villain...)
Vorb (vo): ...Judge Claude Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
(Everyone applauds)
Vorb: And finally, the award for "Burton-Dahl Survivor" goes to...whatever the name of that kid was from James and the Giant Peach.
(The character, James Henry Trotter, and he squeals in joy in PR's face (accidentally splashing his punch on him) and runs to the podium as everybody applauds)
Mayzie: I want to see it this year.
James: (holding the award) Thank you. It's, uh, no secret that Selick's film affected great immortal damage on my giant peach with my friends.
Everybody: (smiling) Whose film didn't? (They laugh)
James: Yeah, right. But knowing that the damage done was affected by the aunties, giant mechanical shark, the skeleton pirates with Jack, and the rhino above the clouds just...not afraid of them.
(Suddenly, a young girl named Alice Liddell appears in the doorway)
Alice: (speaking in a thick accent) Wait a minute! I deserve to win that award!
(Guy, Mayzie and Kiki roll their eyes in awe)
Kiki: Oh, my goodness.
Mayzie: It's Alice Liddell.
PR: Who?
Guy: From Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
PR: Why, it has to be different the same year in 1992 from a Disney premiere. (shows the picture of Adventures in Wonderland on the top of the screen.) What's in it?
Guy: In the creators of (on the screen, showing posters of TMS/Madhouse's...) Little Nemo and Treasure Island version. (back to Guy) She's an (makes "finger quotes") "honorary mention".
Mayzie: He thinks she's on the same level as us other '90s dark movies, but she's… she's special.
PR: I guess a TMS/Madhouse version is the most liked movie, huh?
(Everybody gasps in surprise)
Guy: What do you say... you like a TMS/Madhouse version?!
PR: Well, yeah. I mean... That's what you were all acting like!
Mayzie: Well, anybody likes it, but that means you like a TMS/Madhouse version of a Disney (1951 animated) classic...!
(Beat)
PR: What on earth does that mean?!
Guy: It's… a Disney/Miyazaki-esque style. I'll tell you what. (gives PR his iPad) Why don't you watch it on my iPad and decide for yourself, while we...
Alice: (offscreen) ?????
Guy: ...tend to Chihiro Occupied here.
PR: Good luck.
(PR sits in his chair in the corner of the room)
PR: Well, let's talk about and see if it's best the praise it's gotten about Alice in Wonderland in the public history.
(...)
(The title for this movie is shown, followed by clips)
(...)
Category:The Private Reviewer
Category:TMS Entertainment
Category:Madhouse
Category:Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (1992)