Jeffy Goes to Sesame Street/Transcript

Aah, what are you doing? I’m just getting your blood pressure. Ouch ouch ouch, 130% pain, ow. (CRYING) Help, no. Nurse. No no no, damn it, anything but that, you load of horse dingleberries. Take a sip of some medicine. Hi, Brooklyn Guy? How are you, Simmons. Oops, sorry. Couldn’t do that. Sure you wouldn’t do that, where are you going? To Sesame Street, of course. He sure is a bit full of jazz. Now let’s go. Hey, Jeffy, your parents are calling us, please come downstairs. Anything to get away from this stupid show. We have the greatest news for the first time in a while, I got something in the mail from Sesame Workshop, they’re passports for us to go to Sesame Street easily without dealing with the trouble of getting a passport. Also, the Sesame Passports Service Tickets to four places in the New York area, we can go to Central Park Zoo, New York Aquarium, Coney Island, and Nickelodeon Universe American Dream, and the best part is... We will be staying at the hotel on Sesame Street. Rose: Yay, I can't wait to see the Muppets there, this’ll be very exciting, almost better than going to Disney World or Disneyland. Jeffy: What, Sesame Street, Nickelodeon Universe American Dream?! No, no, NOOOOOOOO! (BAWLING) I don’t want to go to neither of those places, neither Sesame Street nor Nickelodeon’s shows are owned by Hanna-Barbera. Well Jeffy, you have to come with us, because of your behavior, that makes you the most feared kid of all of Florida. The only person who babysits you is out of town, now here’s the good news, you aren’t coming with us to Nickelodeon Universe American Dream. But guess what? You aren’t coming with us to any other attractions and parks, this is because of your behavior. (Excuse me, Mr...) while me and Rose go to the parks around New York, you will stay at the hotel on Sesame Street and a Muppet will look after you. No Daddy, you can’t do this to me, I dislike the Muppets because they aren’t owned by Hanna-Barbera. Mario: Complain all you want Jeffy, you have to come with us whether you like it or not, and we just explained why. I’m not coming Mommy and Daddy, leave me home alone. Jeffy, we have to bring you with us because we don’t trust you to behave at home alone, but we don’t trust you to behave at the parks at New York either. I’m not going and that’s that. I hate Sesame Street, I hate It, I hate It, I hate it! Rose: There is nothing else we can do about it, Jeffy. Now go back to your room and start packing, because we leave Saturday. Never, I’m staying right here until you cancel this trip or promise to leave me home. Alright, Jeffy, here’s the deal, if you behave on this trip, we will take you to Chuck E. Cheese on our last day of New York! Okay? No, I’m not falling for that again. Look Jeffy, it’s our only choice as a family. We don’t trust you to make promises if we let you stay home, so you are coming with us whether you like it or not, now stop yelling. Jeffy: I am not coming, WAAAAH! (HEAVY METAL YELLING) Oh x10, Jeffy, stop throwing this temper tantrum, you have 5 seconds to run to your bedroom or else you’re grounded, five... Alright, you win, I’ll do whatever you want to do, if that’s the way it’s gonna be then... We’re so sorry you had to put up with that. Rose: Don’t worry, we’ll make sure Jeffy’s under control during this trip. And he won’t go to the parks with us. That’s what exactly what I was gonna tell you. Jeffy has been behaving so bad lately. So I should take a break from my multiple jobs. Brooklyn Guy? What the heck are you doing here? Look, I know you hate Sesame Street, but I've never behaved like this before or behaved the same. I don’t care, I don’t wanna go and that’s final. Now look, everybody makes mistakes, but you have to learn from them. Shut up. Brooklyn: I don’t care for your choice of words. You got coal for Christmas last year, and if you misbehave, you might get coal for Christmas this year. I have a very exciting idea. How about we go to splinters and crackers. What the... excuse me. (HE WAILS). Jeffy, close your mouth please, we are not a codfish. Shut up, you bald idiot. I can open my mouth whenever I want, AND I DON’T CARE IF WE’RE NOT A CODFISH OR NOT! You know that is property damage for you, you know that people think it’s hard to stop misbehaving, but to be honest and tell the truth, you have to work for it and change your behavior. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to sleep. Sorry, It’s just that Jeffy was overreacting. (GROANING) Shut up, I am sleeping, so QUIET!!! (JEFFY BLUBBERING). He feels like he doesn’t want to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Marvin, what are you doing? I’m looking at these passports, they say 1936. Marvin, excuse me. Baby, I’d like for you not to call me "Marvin", you know I've never been named like that. Right now I’m busy searching for the difference between 1910. Marvin, what the heck did you just say? No bad words, the only thing I said was that I needed to find the difference between 1910. Why do you keep saying 1910, you know it’s way after 1910, Marvin. Of course it’s way after 1910. So what, it’s also way after 1911. (MARIO MUTTERING) It’s before 1912, 1913, 1914, 1915, 1916... (MARIO’S VOICE FADES) What an annoying worker. Brooklyn: Mario's grumpy. Is it Jeffy, or is it... 1910, now I know why he’s unhappy, you wrote 1910 on the passports. (JEFFY SLOBBERING) Ew. (IN HIS DREAM) Silly old car, silly, silly, silly. Jeffy’s talkin’ in his sleep again. (QUIETLY) Shut up. Well, let’s pack up, we have to get ready for the trip to Sesame Street. Also, we have less than 35 minutes until bedtime. No. Not my cat piano, it's my precious toy. It’s almost bedtime, so go back to sleep. Fine. (GROANS) What a bunch of losers. (SNORING) (TRAIN TOOTING) What the hell is that noise! Jeffy, get up, it’s time to leave for New York, well, why are you just laying there? Get out of bed right now. No, I’m not coming with you to Sesame Street. Have it your way. Daddy, what are you doing to me. Time to brush your teeth. Never. Mario: Then I’ll do it for you. Brush them high, brush them low, give your smile that shiny glow. Now rinse, now spit. I said spit, not swallow. Forget it, we don’t have much time and I know how slow you are. Gah. (JEFFY WAILING) I am not getting dressed and that’s final, I am not packing and that’s final. Jeffy, you are getting dressed and that is final, your mom and Brooklyn are already dressed and ready to leave for New York, and I am still not out of my PJs. No, no... NOOOOO! (JEFFY CRYING AGRESSIVELY) I do not wanna pack up, I love my stuff and want to keep it. You love it? I’m packing up for you. My cat piano, no, no, NO! (CAT PIANO MEOWING) There, stay here. Then I said, Karen clean the dishes please, so I sprained my ankle because she was not looking where she was going. There, I’m ready. Excuse me, can I go to the bathroom? Of course, be back in 5 minutes, y’know it’s cooking day and you don’t want to roast your chicken too much. Now Jeffy, before you bother to do anything to ruin this trip. I’m going to tell you this, there’s nothing we can do to cancel this trip that’ll do us any good, so why complain and throw temper tantrums, and if you try to do anything, you will make life hard for all of us, including you. Do I make myself clear? And you'd better tell us the truth. Jeffy: Alright, fine. But I won’t be happy. Good. Now let’s go. But Mommy and Daddy. You’re driving me to Sesame Street against my will. Jeffy, you remember what your father said earlier. I said I wouldn’t be happy. I understand that you’re not happy, but we have no choice but to take you because of what we said earlier. Jeffy, just don’t say anything at all, just be quiet. No, I will not be quiet, I won't be quiet because you’re driving me to a place where I don’t want to go, that’s mean. Rose: No Jeffy, It’s not mean. We already explained that we had no other choice. Yes you did, you had the choice of leaving me behind so I could live normally. Jeffy, stop it now. No. Just say nothing. I will keep talking. How hard is it to stay quiet for a little while? Impossible when you're going to a stupid place. Stop complaining and be quiet. Never, I will complain forever. Jeffy, Marvin is driving. Never, I do not want to go to Sesame Street and be babysat by a Muppet, I don't want to go! (JEFFY SCREAMS LIKE AGNES FROM DESPICABLE ME 2) Jeffy, stop complaining and put your seatbelt on, you are annoying all of us and making it hard for us to focus on driving. Brooklyn: Everyone put in their earplugs. I knew that Jeffy would behave like this on the trip. You cannot take me to Sesame Street, you can’t. (HE WAILS) Alright, we’re here, now everyone get out of the car while I take this to the park and fly center nearby, Wait for me at the check-in counter. (JEFFY BLUBBERING) Rose, Brooklyn Guy, Jeffy. Is it really you? Yes, Diesel Buster, long time no see. I don’t ground Macchiator as much anymore. He’s a good boy now. Anyway, we've got Sesame Passports, which should give us clearance for these, we’re going to Sesame Street. Lucky you, oh, I mean, I hate Sesame Street, that’s a baby show. Hey, is that who I think it is? Oh hello, Mario. Before you ask, no, I don’t ground people anymore, I’m a better person now. We have Sesame Passports, just let us through. Diesel: Let me check them, it feels like they’re fake. Rose: No, they aren’t fake. They were mailed to us from Sesame Workshop, Really, they were. Okay, what’s this. Family approved for Sesame Documentation. If you see this family, please let them through directly to U.S. custom border protection. Thank you for the management. Uh, I guess you can go through now. Thank you. Umm, you’re welcome. And I thought seeing Grizzy all the way back when I was working at San Francisco International Airport was weird. (JEFFY CRYING LOUDLY) Mario: Jeffy, you have 20 strikes on this trip, if you do anything bad, you earn a strike. Stop shouting. I wanna stay here in Florida because I do not want to go to Sesame Street. (YELLING) Hey, those look like Sesame Passports. Yes, I think they are Sesame Passports. Let me inspect to see if they’re authentic. Yes, they’re authentic. These also ask for the CPB questions. Except, are you bringing anything with you? No, we’re not, in fact. We’re only bringing my wife and I's Universal debit card and the Sesame Passports. The bag with the Universal debit card is tied to my back inside my shirt. Okay, you guys are free to go then. No, you can’t, I am not going to New York, waahh... (SOBBING LOUDLY) Aren’t Sesame Passports only given to TV stars living around the United States? They look like the main family from SuperMarioLogan. Mario: Why is that dog following me? This is our K-9, Aurora. She is trained to smell out food and respond in a special way to it. Why is she sniffing the back of me? Sir, are you bringing any food with you? No, I am not. In fact, we’re only bringing the Universal debit card and the Sesame Passports, the bag with the Universal debit card is tied to my back inside my shirt. Well, Aurora is trained to she is smell food. You need to see our agricultural specialist to see what’s going on. I didn’t want this to happen, that’s why I didn’t pack any food. We can eat on the way there. Amanda is coming to take you to one of our agricultural specialists, his name is Larry. He will see if he finds the food. If he does, you owe $1000 for this offense. Sir, please come with me to see the specialist. So, what’s in the bag? I didn’t pack any food. I don’t believe you because I’m smelling for proof. A Kinder Surprise Egg. You and your family owe fine. You cannot believe what else I found in the bag, along with the Universal debit card, a Kinder Surprise Egg. These aren’t allowed in the United States, now we owe fine, don’t we? Yes, but I can pay that off easily, and Jeffy did it, I know him to do stuff like this. You can’t take me to Sesame Street. NOOOOOO! (JEFFY CRIES LOUDLY AGAIN) Excuse me, but could you please put your son down? Stay, don’t you dare run away while I go through the scanner, you have to come with us whether you like it or not. If I let go of my son, he’ll run away from me, he doesn’t want to come with us even though he has to. I’ll call the officers then. Jeffy, stop trying to run away, we have to take you with us right now. Thanks. I’ll hold on to him while you go through. Thanks, officer. You’re welcome. Let me go, let me go. How would you feel if you were in my position, let me go home right now. I’m afraid I can’t let you go home, I have to help you go with your family, now it’s your turn. No, no, no no no! (SHRIEKING LIKE LED ZEPPELIN) An expert with tantrum throwing kids. Thank you, sir. You’re welcome. Man, I’m so tired of this, let’s just get through, we’re already done with customs. Jeffy, you just earned your second strike, eighteen more until you’re grounded. NOOOOOO! Will I ever be able to explain what I just saw? Let’s go to Dunkin’ Donuts. Except, Jeffy, we’ll be picking your breakfast for you, because we know that you tend to throw tantrums to the point of destroying an entire restaurant if they run out of something on the menu. Stay with your mother while Brooklyn and I go. No, that’s not fair, that’s not fair that you get to go and I don’t. Because, even though we love you, we don’t trust you based off your behavior. (ZOOMING BACK IN THE PAST) Nancy: That’s because you're my punching bag, Jeffy. (ZOOMS BACK TO THE FLIGHT TO SESAME STREET) Don’t you dare put me on this flight. (HOLLERING AND SCREAMING) I’m so sorry ma’am, just ignore my son. Brooklyn: Breakfast tiiiimmmeeee! Thanks for the coffee. Mario: You’re welcome, and Jeffy, I got you a cream cheese bagel. Please tell me you’ll be okay with that. Okay, I can eat that. Brooklyn, do you want a bite of my bagel? No thanks. It’s not yucky. (CHEWING AND WAILING) Yuck, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever tasted! I do not wanna go to Sesame Street and be babysat by a Muppet. Take this, you... (THROWS BAGEL) Aha, silly old bagel. Silly, silly, silly. (BEGINS TO CRY LOUDLY) Jeffy!!! Jeffy, you earned your third strike, seventeen more ‘til you’re grounded. But I don’t wanna go. Hey. (MUFFLED) I hate Sesame Street, I don’t wanna go there, it’s stupid and not made by Hanna-Barbera. (MUFFLED ROARING AND CRYING) Okay, your Sesame documents/passports are scanned. Please proceed to the plane immediately. Thank you. Uh, you’re welcome. (NORMAL VOICE) No, please don’t put me on this flight. No, no, no. (SQUEALING AND CRYING) Man, what a crazy world we live in. Stop it, put me down. Rose: Did we miss the flight? No, you just made it. Jeffy: WHAT?! (CRYING LOUDLY) No, I don’t wanna go, I wanna stay home. Oh nooo, the plane is moving. (DANCING AND PRANCING AND CRYING LOUDLY) Jeffy, sit down. All passengers are required to be seated and have their seatbelts securely fastened. Never, I will never sit down, that way the plane can never take off. We’re now going to explain the emergency rules. Jeffy, stop dancing, put your seatbelt on and watch the safety video, if you refuse, then you will earn your fourth strike. I don’t care, just take me home. The video is starting, get in your seat and put your seatbelt on. Absolutely not, waaaaahhhhh. Jeffy, you earned your fourth strike. sixteen more until your grounded. Seventeen: Help, help, my one, my beautiful one. Three: Great, now how did I get here? One: Help!!! Four: Hey, wait a minute, I don’t know where I am. Oh no, we’re on the runway, I might not like this plane take-off. Hey, the engines are whirring up. No. Wait, don’t, don’t take off. No, no, please stop, abort, abort, abort! (SCREAMING LIKE AGNES FROM DESPICABLE ME 2) We’re rolling down the runway. This is the worst day of my life. (CONTINUES WAILING) No x5, please abort take off. Stop. Abort. Abort. Abort. (CRYING AND HOLLERING) We’re high up into the air, Florida is getting smaller. This is the worst day of my life. (ROARING WITH HOLLERING AND BAWLING) Rock, paper, scissors. Now I know why they call me Brooklyn, it's in New York. Airport lady: Good morning folks, would you like to order breakfast? No thanks, we already ate, but I would like some orange juice. Nothing for me. Nothing for me either. I’ll have a cup of water. Okay, we’ll get your dad’s juice and your water ready. Here’s your water. Thanks. You’re welcome, and here’s your orange juice. Thanks. More water, please. You still thirsty? Yes, Mommy, I am. Okay, you can have a refill. Hmm-mmm. (MUFFLED) I’m making a refill of water for the kid, and... (MUFFLED CATERWAULING STOPS) Here’s your water. More water. Here’s your water. Hey, Daddy, you’re right, I did have a lot of water. Can I go to the restroom? Okay, just don’t do anything wrong or you’ll earn your fifth strike. And I mean it. He better not do anything wrong. I know him to do these things as pranks, but he sure drank a lot of water. And why did he drink so much water? Wow, he’s coming out, wait, where is he going? Brooklyn: Then I said, who flew a kite outside the park. So, I found out that the kite accidentally got ripped by itself. Woman: Oh, that’s sad. Man #1: Shut up. There they are. Karen: Oh no, the chicken has been burnt. Boiny... now where is he? It’s cooking day, and I cannot let this day be ruined. Penelope: So? He’s on the plane. Jeffy: Listen, pilots! You better turn this plane back towards Florida, or I will scream like Agnes From Despicable Me 2, only twice as loud and longer. I know you’re not listening, don’t make me scream. Prepare for the loudest scream of your lives, this’ll be so loud it could shake the plane. Alright, kid. That’s enough. Turn this plane back right NOOOOOWWWWWWW! (SCREAMING LIKE AGNES FROM DESPICABLE ME 2, “ONLY TWICE AS LOUD AND LONGER”) Smart move Jeffy, you earned your fifth strike. No, no. Fifteen more, then you’re grounded. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. There is too much traffic in New York LaGuardia. And therefore, we have to go into a holding pattern. We’ll update you soon. No, x3. Not only am I stuck on this plane, it’s going to be flying in a circle. I cannot stand it. Jeffy, stay here. (ROARING, SCREAMING, HOLLERING, SHRIEKING, THROWING EXTREME TEMPER TANTRUMS) Finally, we made it to LaGuardia Airport, now we just have to find the Sesame Street Express. Maybe we should ask someone for directions. Hey, that looks like a business woman. Excuse me ma’am, but do you know the way to the Sesame Street Express? Yes, I do. Just keep going that way, you will see a sign that points towards the Sesame Street Express check-in. Follow the signs until you reach the check in area. When you have had your luggage and Sesame Street signs scanned, they’ll give you your luggage and assign you to your line and motorcoach. Proceed to your assigned line. Then follow that line to its respective elevator, you'll go down the elevator. It will take you to an underground transit center where the Sesame Street Express motorcoaches are waiting. Catch your assigned motorcoach. And that motorcoach will take you straight to the Furchester Hotel on Sesame Street. If celebrities are available, the express can also take you to their houses or their areas where they are so you can sign their autograph. Okay, thanks, but instead of little Sesame Street signs, we have Sesame passports, they say that these are accepted too. Well, I never heard of Sesame Passports, but if those are accepted too, then okay. You’re welcome. Look, there’s a sign that says the Sesame Street Express is this way. LADY: Um, welcome to Sesame Street Express. Please scan your little Sesame Street sign right here. Actually, we have Sesame passports. Wow, really? Okay, do you have any luggage as you’re here? Rose: No, my husband has all the things. Okay, then. You guys are good to go. Proceed to line 13, which leads you to motorcoach C85 via an elevator. Thanks. You're welcome. No, no, no, no. (REPEATING AND BAWLING) No, I do not want to go to Sesame Street, let me go right now. Put me down x2. Put me down right NOOOOWWWW!!! Elmo: Going down, (LAUGHS) You’ll see Elmo soon, along with his friends on Sesame Street. Enjoy your stay, Elmo loves you. Alright, here’s the bus that will take us to Sesame Street. Jeffy: No, stop it, put me down this instant before I scream like Agnes From Despicable Me 2, three times as loud and longer. Jeffy, sit down. The bus is moving so you need to be seated. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Sesame Street Express, bound for the Furchester Hotel. Continuing on 123 Sesame Street, where you can get signatures from Elmo. So, sit back and relax, listen to the safety instructions, and enjoy the short ride. We’ll be there in a jiffy, thanks. Jeffy, sit down, the bus is moving so you need to be seated. No. Stay, the safety video’s coming on. But Mommy and Daddy. I told you many times over and over again and I will tell you again. Jeffy, we told you that we had no choice but to take bring you with us. And we are already in New York, so why complain? But I am going to hate being on this trip. You’re torturing me. Jeffy, there’s no use in complaining. We’re going whether you like it or not. I don’t wanna go, and that’s that. You’re not listening to the safety video. Pay attention to it. No x6, I don’t wanna go through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel. I don’t wanna go to New York City. (JEFFY WAILS) No, I hate it here in New York City. Take me back to Florida. We are going to Sesame Street, and that is end of story. (JEFFY REPEATS NO AND WAILS) Rose: Yay, this is the best day of my life. (JEFFY INTERRUPTS ROSE WHILE SPEAKING) Jeffy: I can’t believe I’m here, I wanna go back to Florida. (SESAME STREET THEME PLAYING) Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street. Come and play, everything’s a-okay. Friendly neighbors there, that’s where we meet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street. It’s a magic carpet ride, ev’ry door will open wide, to happy people like you, to happy people like... oh, what a beautiful sunny day, sweeping the clouds away. On my way to where the air is sweet, can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street. How to get to Sesame Street. How to get to Sesame Street. (REPEATS UNTIL THE SONG ENDS) Oscar the Grouch: New visitors? Yuck, I hate new visitors. Finally, we’re here, now let’s go inside. If you want to go back and get a signature from Elmo, please remain seated. Chorus: La la la la la la la x2. Welcome to the Furchester Hotel. Brooklyn: Our room is ready, just need to get the bed. Phoebe Furchester: The lamp, the desk, the rug, the sink. Pillow: A pillow for your head. Cookie Monster and Elmo: The hotel is run by monsters. A staff beyond compare. We've got the kind of service you might find anywhere, so welcome. Chorus: Welcome, to the Furchester. Lalalalalala, lalalalalala. Welcome... to the Furchester, la la la la la la, la la la la la. Dine in style. So genteel. Cookies come with ev’ry meal. (CONTINUES SINGING) Here’s your key, so check right in, let your family stay begin. Welcome to the Furchester Hotel. Are you staying in a room of four? Our Sesame passports tell us what room we’re staying in. Okay, what room is that? Room 63. Okay, that room is vacant. Room 63 is on the second floor. Thanks. You’re welcome. Celebrities. Now, going up the elevator. Jeffy: No, no, no, I cannot believe my eyes. Brooklyn: We can just get a room without tantrum throwing kids. Rose: Room 63 has no one to throw temper tantrums. (JEFFY BAWLING) Welcome to Sesame Street. Jeffy, go straight to bed. No. Fine. Marvin honey, get the clothes out of your bag. Jeffy, go to sleep right now, your behavior is sending you to bed early, now that we’re here. No, I will not go to sleep until you take me back to Florida, take me home right now. Go to sleep x3. Yeah, the way I say go to sleep three times works every time. Now, who wants to go with me at Charlie’s? Me. Get something for me, honey. Okay. So what’s on the menu, Grover? Brooklyn: I'd like some old pizza. Charlie, give me a medium supreme cheese pizza. Here’s your food. Bon appétit. Well, we’re here. Wait a minute, you’re Elmo? You have red furry skin. Orange nose. Elmo doesn’t think in these parts. Wait a minute, yes. I’m Brooklyn, I heard Jeffy call me a bald idiot. Hey. Can you name your daughter Ella? Ella? Yes, Mrs. Fitzgerald. Thank you, umm... Brooklyn T. Guy? Of course it is. Well, I have no choice but for you to song before we leave. And dancing, as well. Ella: I don't have time for dancing. That's just gonna have to wait a while. How long are we talking about here? Ain't got time for messing around. And it's not my style. This whole city can slow you down, people taking the easy way. But I know exactly where I'm going, I'm getting closer and closer every day. And I'm almost there, I'm almost there. People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care. Trials and tribulations, I've had my share. There ain't nothing gonna stop me now, 'cause I'm almost there. I remember Daddy told me, fairy tales can come true. You gotta make 'em happen, it all depends on you. So I work real hard, each and every day. Now things for sure are going my way. Just doing what I do. Look out, boys, I'm coming through. And I'm almost there, I'm almost there. People 'gon come here from everywhere, and I'm almost there. I'm almost there. There's been trials and tribulations. You know I've had my share. But I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river, and I'm almost there. I'm almost there. I'm almost there. I’ll be going now. Who were you talking to? Ella Fitzgerald? She’s temperance. Okay. Well, how about a signature. Okay, you own a signature for you, your wife and your son. Rise and shine, kids. Now, I can’t go with either of you. So I’m going on my own. Y’know, I've got some words of advice for you. In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun, you find the fun and... Snap. The job’s a game. And ev’ry task you undertake, becomes a piece of cake. A lark, a spree. It’s very clear to see. Aaaa... spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in a most delightful way. A robin feathering his nest has very little time to rest, while gathering his bits of twine and twig. Though quite intending his pursuit, he has a merry tune to toot. He knows a song, that moves the job along. For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in a most delightful way. Rose: Jeffy, sing it. Never. Fine. The honeybees that fetch the nectar from the honey to the comb, never tire of ever buzzing to and fro’, cause they take a little nip, from ev’ry flower that they sip, and hence, they find, their task is not a grind. Rose: Boogie woogie, Marvin. (MARIO GROANING) (BOOGIE WOOGIE MUSIC PLAYING) (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down, just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in a most delightful way. Mario: (SCREAMS) Rose: It’s the dance of bye-yum-pum-pum. Bye-yum-pum-pum? What’s that? For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down, just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in a most delightful way x2. They quite dance to tango. Tango? What are you talking about? Tango, you hand your arms to your partner. You straighten your arms. And you drop your head and round up again. These tango gloves? Put them on and open and close them. Your right foot, left foot, right, back together. Right foot, left foot, right, back together. Now arms, Marvin, arms. Use your arms back together. Then slink, two, three, bye-yum and slink two three. Bye-yum, and spin like a top. That's it. (DANCING TO THE RHYTHM OF TANGO) Do the Nita Naldi. Now, Theda Bara. Rose, you’re absolutely dangerous and scandalous! Brooklyn: One more time. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down, just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in a most delightful way, in a most delightful way. In a... most delightful, in a most delightful way, yeah! Brooklyn: Whoo-hoo. Good morning, Jeffy. What, where am I. I just got a phone call from Mama Bear. Baby Bear is going to babysit you while the rest of us go to Central Park Zoo. No, you can’t do that to me, you can't just go off to a fun place while I’m stuck here in this hotel. Get dressed, or you’ll earn your sixth strike. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. (JEFFY AND MARIO ARGUING) That’s it, you just earned your sixth strike, now go get dressed before I do it for you. Fine. Baby Bear is volunteering in a babysitter’s group, he volunteered to take on Jeffy. I really hope he can control him. He claims he knows discipline. I really hope he can do it. Agnes is going to suck. (DOORBELL RINGS) Oh, hello. Baby Bear, please come in. Jeffy, this is your babysitter. Pleased to meet you, Jeffy. My name is Baby Bear, and I will be babysitting you, be a good boy while I take care of you. Do not do anything wrong while Baby Bear’s taking care of you, understand? I mean it. Yes. Understand? Yes. Un-dare-stand? Don’t worry, Mario. I will make sure Jeffy doesn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I’ll remind you if he gets out of control. Are you sure? Yes. Tradition is the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc. Discipline is training to act in accordance. Disorder is a lack of order or regular arrangement. What? The blossoms, the butterflies are not real all the time, instead bees eat them. Yeah also, what I said was known as confusion. Chaos is a state of utter confusion and disorder, a total lack of organization or order. Catastrophe is a sudden and widespread disaster. Anarchy is a state of society or government without law. Okay. He must learn about the... Baby Bear: Life you lead. Okay, good. Now Rose, we are going to Central Park Zoo. Make sure Jeffy doesn’t do anything wrong, even when he leaves, causes disorder, chaos, catastrophe, or anarchy. If he does something really bad, give him his seventh strike. And I forgot to remind you. If he must go on outings, these outings ought to be, fraught with purpose. Yes, and practicality. Okay, you guys have a good time, have fun. Be good, Jeffy. Don’t do anything wrong. Especially leave the house without his say-so, causing utter confusion and disorder, causing a sudden or widespread disaster, and causing a state of society or government without law. And I mean it, Baby Bear will call me, he got my number through the e-mail I sent him. Where are you going? Funella, you look red. Where are you going? We’re going to Central Park Zoo. Oh, you really can’t be going, oh, say it isn’t true. A Furchester will never be as furry without you. We want you to stay forever or longer if you can, we put our furry heads together and came up with this plan. We’ve got to come together, it’s been a monster day. A Furchester is furrier when you come to stay. We want you to stay eternally, or magically forever. We put our furry heads together and came up with a plan. So don’t check out. Don’t check out. Please, please, please, please don’t go. Don’t check out, don’t check out. Where are you going? To the art room. (HUSHED EXCLAMATIONS OF WONDER) Okay, this is like a dream. Sleeping Beauty? I better watch out for this. There you are, Rose. Here, I made it for you. Can we go in? Sure. First I put my umbrella in the portrait. I cover it. Then in 3... 2... 1... Wow, this is a beautiful place. Are you sure? Let me sing a song. Oh. Who are the people in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood. Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood. The people that you meet each day. Oh, the postman always brings the mail, through rain and snow and sleet and hail. He works and works the whole day through, to get your letters safe to you. Is this your neighborhood? I wasn’t born here. 'Cause a postman is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood. A postman is a person in your neighborhood. A person you meet each day. (ROMANTIC WALTZ PLAYING) Brooklyn: I'm playing a fireman. Oh, a fireman is brave it’s said, his engine is a shiny red. If there’s a fire anywhere about, he’ll make sure to put it out. Oh, a fireman’s a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood. A fireman’s a person in your neighborhood. They’re the people that you meet when you’re walking down the street, they’re the people that you meet each day. Okay, there’s the diner. The Main Street Diner? Where’s that? Sing for us. Well, there are types of frogs around here that used to be polliwogs, so maybe. E-flat major. (1940'S SLOW DANCE MUSIC) Play that piano. Brooklyn: Once I was an egg, in a pond so wet, but that was long ago, and I wasn’t born yet. And from that groovy egg, a polliwog came out. And yes that was me, just a-wigglin' about. Just a-wigglin' about. Oh, the life I led. In that wild and crazy bog. I was just a carefree, playful polliwog. Swimming without stop. Living for today. Wiggling through my youth in a polliwog kind of way. But to every polliwog, there comes without fail. That crazy day when they lose their tail. So long, wiggly tail. Goodbye, polliwog. I started growing legs and became a frog. Yes, I became a frog. Now the time has come, to leave the old pond. That waterwall cradle of which I was fond. Kick my brand new legs. Get to the top. Get out of my water and take my first hop. Well, life just goes on. I hopped a lot since then. I kick up my heels, again and again. But as far as I may hop, there always are days. When I miss that old pond, and my polliwog... ways. Thank you, thank you! Thank you so much. Uh, um... (BROOKLYN GUY CLEARS HIS THROAT) Sorry, I kind of got carried away there. (JOE RAPOSO BAND PLAYING) You come in by a twitch, or a movie like Lilo and Stitch. Or maybe a... (MUSIC FADES OUT) Okay, Jeffy, the thing that your parents told me to do was to get you breakfast downstairs. Come on. Now that we had your breakfast, I’ll ask you what you want to do, but I don’t want you to do anything wrong especially leave the room unless I say so, cause disorder, chaos, catastrophe and anarchism. So instead, we’re going to watch PBS Kids. At least Peter Parrot’s show is on PBS Kids. No, no, no, no. (JEFFY RETURNS TO WAILING) I can't believe I missed my favorite show. I do not want to watch Sesame Street. Put on Peter Parrot’s show right now. Jeffy, stop dancing on the bed. You have to watch PBS Kids so you can keep your efficient in your education. (TV CRASHES) Jeffy, you just earned your seventh strike. I’m calling your parents right now to tell them about this and get money for what you just destroyed. Okay, we saw the elephants, now let’s look at the lions next. (MARIO'S PHONE BUZZING) Great, that’s probably Baby Bear calling me to let me know that Jeffy did something bad. Hello. Yeah, it’s him. He did what? Ugh, I’m coming home, you can leave when I get back. Jeffy literally destroyed the TV in the living room because he didn’t want to watch Sesame Street on PBS Kids. I’m going home, see you there. Rose: Bye. It’s 12:00. Time for lunch. Waiter. Something on the menu. (SWING MUSIC OPENING) Brooklyn: Got a great big load of hay here? Got a bag of oats? Of course. Load of hay and a bag of oats, that’s lunch for my friend Herb the Horse. Waiter #1: That’s because it’s lunchtime. Waiter #2: Hip-hooray for lunchtime. Waiter #3: Everybody stop at lunchtime. If you’re hungry, eat a bunch-time. Hip-hooray. Oh, I love lunchtime. Waiter #4: See you in a minute. Here’s your load of hay and a bag of oats for your friend, Herb the Horse. Thank you, more please. Got a tiny piece of cheese here. I’m taking it to my friend’s house. With a simple bowl of water? That's lunch for my friend, Mike the Mouse. Waiters: That’s because it’s lunchtime. Hip-hooray for lunchtime, everybody stop at lunchtime. If you're hungry, eat a bunch-time. Hip-hooray, oh, I love lunchtime. Brooklyn: Got a peanut butter sandwich? Waiter: Got a chocolate milkshake, too. Got a sandwich and a milkshake. That’s my special lunch for you, and that’s because it’s lunchtime, hip-hooray for lunchtime. Everybody stop at lunchtime. If you’re hungry, eat a bunch-time. Hip-hooray, oh, I... love... lunchtime. Hand over a pot. One cup of tea for me. And three cakes. Big one at the bottom. Second one goes on top of the first. And the third, also known as the smallest cake piece, goes on top of the second. Thanks. Mmm. More, please. Wow, that was great. Well, do you know what’s even better? A song. (MARCHING MUSIC) ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, it’s the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, I wish I knew exactly what I mean. It starts out like an A word, as anyone can see. But somewhere in the middle it sounds awfully QR to me. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, if I ever find out just what this word can mean. I’ll be the smartest person the world has ever seen. It might be a kind of elephant, or a funny kind of kazoo, or a strange exotic turtle that you've never seen in a zoo, It might be a kind of dog or a particular shade of blue, or maybe a pretty flower. Nah, not with a name like that. ABCDEFGJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ is the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen, ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. I wish I knew exactly what I mean. It starts out like an A word, as anyone can see. But somewhere in the middle, it's awfully QR to me. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, if I ever find out just what this word can mean? I’ll be the smartest person you have ever seen. Okay, example, I knew a lady with rings, and she got them and it seemed like a very good word. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Shall we dance. (SWING MUSIC PLAYING) Dancers: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ is the most remarkable word we’ve ever seen. Brooklyn and Chorus: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. I wish we knew exactly what we mean. So if it’s the alphabet now, then there ain't no shame in saying. Brooklyn: Mmh-mmh. A word you that you think is the alphabet, but in the books of Sesame Street you’ll be sure to find some. Dancers and Brooklyn with Chorus: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVXYZ, if we ever find out just what this word can mean, we’ll be the smartest that you have ever seen. Ooooooooooh (FOR SIXTEEN SECONDS STRAIGHT). Baby Bear: I’m sorry for what has happened to the TV. Tomorrow’s an important day. I’ll tuck him in. Jeffy, this is called disorder, and I want you to not cause trouble this time, understand? (YAWNS) It’s time for sleep. I wish I had a doll. Hey, it is bedtime, which means I will make you a doll, you want it blue? Blue is my favorite color. Now it’s time for bed. (ROSE SNORING) 💤 What time is it? 6:00, early in the morning. Rose: (SINGING) Clock rings, I wake up. I yawn and stretch myself. Good morning. It’s 7:00, Marvin. Mario: (SINGING) I wake up. I get up, start getting dressed. Good morning. There are lots of things I have to do when I wake up. I wash my face, and then I brush my teeth. There’s so much to do. Rose: Every morning when I wake up. I get out of bed and wash my face. And then I get dressed. I put on my shirt, and do my own buttons, and I can even tie my own shoes. I’m dressed now, I made my bed. I’m dressed now, I brushed my hair. I’m dressed now and going away. Look in the mirror, good morning. Such a good feeling. Good morning. I have a feeling we’re gonna like today. Baby Bear: Good morning, Jeffy. Where are we going? The laundromat for some money to pay for a new TV. Here it is, that’s the fix-it shop. Hey, you wouldn’t mind me here. It’s under construction. You can use it in the city. Duncan’s Toy Chest. But they’re closing for construction. That’s the laundromat. Here’s Chris, and here’s Elmo. Elmo? Who’s Elmo? Hello Baby Bear and Jeffy, nice to meet you Jeffy. Don’t worry, helping out will be fun. Yeah, Chris. So Jeffy, what do you know about washing machines? I’m not an idiot. I know how to use a washing machine. Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. If you really think you know how to use a washing machine, then that’s fine, just show it to us when Grover gets back with the laundry. Here’s this laundry. Would you have this special guest show how much he knows how to use laundry? Sure. Hey, work. Jeffy, you forgot to put in the coin. I know what I’m doing. But Jeffy doesn’t kick the washing machine. Jeffy’s supposed to put in the coin. Shut up. Chris, Jeffy told Elmo to shut up. That’s not nice, is it? No, it wasn’t, and Jeffy, stop banging on the washing machine. You just earned your eighth strike, I’m calling your parents right now. The shark tunnel was awesome. Yes, I loved it. (PHONE RINGING) Oh no, here we go again. Jeffy's at it again. What is it now, Baby Bear? Jeffy destroyed a washing machine, told Elmo to shut up? I’ll be right there. I’m sorry about what has happened today, Baby Bear. Don’t apologize because your son did something wrong. Tomorrow, he will have to come with me to apologize to Elmo. Hello, Elmo. Hey, this must be Jeffy. Where did he come from, and why did you bring him here? To make you feel better. (JEFFY GASPS) But no, I won't apologize. Elmo: Apologize. No, I’m not apologizing to you. Apologize, now. No, you are the most annoying Muppet in the word. Jeffy is the meanest boy Elmo has ever met. Jeffy: You got that right. Elmo wants to go home. Me too. Then what are you waiting for? Go home! (ELMO CRYING) You just earned your ninth strike. I’m calling your parents again. Rose, are you ready to go on The Cyclone roller coaster? Yeah, I am. Okay, this is important. Bedtime already? Brooklyn: Did you say it was important? Yes, but I think it would be fine with me. It’s 7:00 again and I’m seeing cartoons? Well, good night. See you in the morning light. We’re off to Grouchland. Grouchland? What’s that? Silence please, have fun. Hey, what’s all the racket? I’m Jeffy, I live in Florida with my mommy and daddy who always feeds me green beans. Oscar, you’re around here this year. It’s not open until next year. 2025? I cannot wait that long. I’m not allowed to behave, even if I get grounded. You love misbehaving? New York City is in business. Say, when were you born? I’m twenty years old recently after, like, eight years of being with my adoptive parents. Yeah, but it’s past 2016. Well, if that's important. I want to sing a song about this. Oh, I love trash. Anything dirty or dingy or dusty. Anything ragged or rotten or rusty. Oh, I love trash. Brooklyn Guy hates trash. If I get trash on his clothes, he’ll arrest me. Okay, who’s Brooklyn Guy? Someone who has many jobs and a wife who calls him "Boiny". I have a rotten sneaker that’s tattered and worn. It’s all full of holes and the laces are torn. A gift from my mother the day I was born. I love it because It’s trash. Oh, I love trash. Jeffy: Anything dirty of dingy or dusty. Oscar: Anything ragged or rotten or rusty. Both: Oh, I love trash. Grundgetta: Hey, what’s all the racket. Oscar: The song we’re singing is I Love Trash. Grundgetta: Do you know the words, Jeffy? Of course I do, Grundgetta. I have here a newspaper, 13 months old. I wrapped fish inside it. It’s smelly and cold. But I wouldn’t trade it for a big pot of gold. I love it because it’s trash. (AIR SUCKING) Whee, we’re going down the pipe. Yes, I love trash. Anything dirty or dingy or dusty, anything ragged or rotten or rusty, yes, I love trash. I have a clock that won’t work, and an old telephone. A broken umbrella, a rusty trombone. All: And we are delighted to call them our own. We love them because they’re trash. Oh, I love trash. Anything dirty or dingy or dusty. Anything ragged or rotten or rusty. Yes, I love trash. Jeffy: Trash you say, well then, okay. Trash, trash, trash, trash. (UPBEAT JAUNTY POLKA MUSIC) I love trash, anything dirty or dingy or dusty, anything ragged or rotten or rusty, yes, I love trash. Oh, I love, I love, I love TRAAAAAAASH. Wow, great song, Oscar. What a day, my clothes? They are dirty. Huh. Excuse me, I’m driving here. Oh, sorry sir. Where are you going? Where am I. You’re in Grouchland, my friend. Grizzy: Soggy Sandy? Now I need to give her a tour. Hey, it’s... who are you? I’m Jeffy Jeffy. No really, that's my name. Grizzy, 31 Lint Rd. 31 Lint Rd? Mother used to clean my clothes, but it was against the law to do that. It takes a while. You go in the car with me. Driver: Yeah. Jeffy: Not so loud. Ahh, the dust feels good. In 1969, Grouchland was born out of nowhere. This place, we live here. This is Lint Rd. The road where I live. Here shows 30 Lint Rd. The home of Admiral Fart. Admiral Fart? 31 Lint Rd. This is the house where I live. (WIFE AND HUSBAND ARGUING) Mrs. Pink Grouch: You cannot do this, these are your children. Mr. Pink Grouch: Of course they’re my children, they should learn the seriousness of life. They’re just children, we have no choice. Grizzy: I hope they still love. Jeffy: They’re not loving at all. Mrs. Pink Grouch: Maroonie and Pinkie, please stop. You’re giving your dad a headache. They don’t sound caring at all. Tradition, discipline, and rules are the tools. That was the doorbell. I’ll get it. Grizzy? Mrs. Pink Grouch, this is Mr. Jeffy Jeffy. Jeffy Jeffy? You taking him on a tour or something? Yes. Now, time for music. This is the kitchen. Time for dinner. What do you have for dinner? Poop. Yuck. Try it. (JEFFY CHEWS) Mr. and Mrs. Grizzy, I’m glad to have dinner with you for the first time. Can I sleep over? Yes, you may, but Grizzy should take you on a tour. Jeffy: Thank you. Mrs. Pink Grouch: You’re welcome. (SNICKERS) This is Pinkie and Maroonie’s room. How they play together is by bickering. Bickering? What does that mean? It’s another way to argue. Maroonie: Oh no, my tallest tower. Pinkie: I do not want to play with you. I’m telling Mom. Oh no, this is not good at all. This is the toy chest. Maroonie hates Pinkie. Mom, Pinkie won’t stop bothering me. Maybe she... This is the bathroom. Stay out. What? Maroonie gets out of control sometimes. Jeffy: Me too. My mom and dad take mud showers everyday. Well, my mommy and daddy would be furious if they saw I was taking a shower in mud. Well, try it. You can even gurgle it. What is this? My favorite, camenbert. What is camenbert again? Camenbert is a type of cheese. We use it because it’s against the law to use soap. Get it under your chin. Behind your ears. Now, let everyone get a pot. Hey, Mom. Can I have a pot? Of course, Grizzy. Whee. See, I told you it’d be fun. (JEFFY GIGGLES) Jeffy, it’s a day, can we have a party? I have eight suits. Unhappy, curmudgeon, disgruntled, wretched, miserable, very miserable, nasty, grumpy. Yeah, I’ll choose the disgruntled skin. I always knew you were one of us. But we need a tuxedo. We’ll just take this to the messing machine. There, it’s full of rotten and dingy stuff. A brand new tuxedo I made just for you. Thanks, Grizzy. You’re welcome, Jeffy. Aah. Look. I saw a queue of grouches. Slapping, pushing, force choking, is the way of what may be a smoking. Today since the troublemaking comes, has flipped and flung. From 1969, to forward. 55 years later, it will be a day. It’s 2024. Like I just said, and in the books I read. That’s the person I am. Let’s go inside Oscar’s house. I’m Bunny, Oscar’s sister. Ernest, Oscar’s brother. I’m Oscarina, mother of Oscar. This is the master. I feel a dirty heart broken up to pieces. This is the grouches’ law to eat something that’s raw. So, you like misbehaving? Yes. Great. Well, let’s throw Jeffy a party. Need a bass drum. Snare drum. Aha. A bass drum. Brooklyn's bass drum collection. Sneak in without paying. Need a pedal. Aha. A pedal. Now all I need is a... Aha. A bass drum stick. Put the marshmallow in it. Aha. There, a bass drum. Now, a snare drum. Now let’s test it out. (20th CENTURY FOX DRUMROLL PLAYING) Now I need is a clarinet. Roger Graham Orchestra. Hey, orchestra of Roger Graham. Come. Roger Graham, I’d like that clarinet. At least I have a new one. (BURPING) (SING SING SING PLAYING) Wow, what a dance. My parents are here to pick us up. Let’s go. Okay. So, how was the dance. It was fun. I heard swing music all across Grouchland. When I was singing, I heard swing music and saw flashing lights. You really are the roaring '20s. Mom, it’s the 2020's. Well, I heard swing music playing and I felt like I was going to burst with swing music. Dad: I guess it was not too bad, but you and Jeffy really got the hang of it. It was actually Mr. Grouch using the orchestra, nobody was singing. We were just dancing. Mom: That musical number exploded my head. I need to take him on a tour. This is my room. These are my skins. We are going to be married next year. Sweet, I cannot wait to be married with a grouch. I said next year. Okay, actually, Baby Bear will be mad as I never saw him before if I don’t go back. My mom knitted a nightgown an hour ago. Say, wanna try it on? Put the disgruntled skin on. Do a disgruntled body now. Okay. There. Now I can take it off. Let’s try it on. It’s a nightgown for boys. What? It’s the nightgown is tucked inside the red coat. The coat. Now how do you look? Amazing. You’re right. You look like you’re ready for bed. Well, this is my room. This is my toy box where I put my TV. You showed me that one hour ago lately. I put on my clothes there. This is my parents’ room. This is a picture frame of my mother and father. You have friends. They’re dead enders. Are your parents dead enders? Yes, only in the gymnasium. This is in 2004. When my mean mommy had me. You’re 20? Yes. Well, we are done for now. Let’s go to sleep. (BALLAD MUSIC PLAYING) Oscar: Night went sighing, lots of babies crying. Grundgetta: Dogs are howling, pussy cats are yowling. Both: Nightgales are singing, fire engines ringing, listen when there isn’t any light. And hear that grouchy music in the night. Jeffy: And then the miracle begins. The distant symphony it’s played on, a hundred broken violins. Grizzy: Time goes by, it’s noisy but it’s quiet. Stars are shining, garbage trucks are rhyming. Both: Aeroplanes are soaring, somewhere someone snoring. Makes you feel everything’s all right. To hear the grouchy music in the night! Rose: Jeffy! Did someone kill him. Baby Bear kidnapped him. Jeffy, where have you been all night?! At Grouchland sleeping over at Grizzy’s. Yes, you just earned your tenth strike. What, you idiot. I can't believe this. You gave me a tenth strike for being in Grouchland. Not fair! Not fair! It’s not fair that you... And what suit are you wearing? My pre-mother in law made it for me. Who’s your girlfriend? Grizzy. She’s nice to me. You like grouches? Yes, there’s the saloon. The Sheriff of Grouchland. What’s a Sheriff? They make sure everything’s going well. Okay, I had a mud bath. Grizzy’s favorite cheese is camenbert, and she washed my face and body with it. Used a pot to, she put poison liquid cheese on my hair. What, green liquid cheese? I’m really fond of Grouchland. Lint and I dreamed about yucky things. I had fun as I never did before in Grouchland. You never had much fun in your entire life until you went to Grouchland? Yes. Eight skins. There’s unhappy, curmudgeon, disgruntled, wretched, miserable, very Miserable, nasty, grumpy. What?! It’s true, it blew my head off. I danced and pranced the swing. What swing? Well, the grouches’ life. What, grouches don’t have lives. Yes they do, it’s fun. I was touring and super happy, the end. Hanna-Barbera shows are my favorite. I forgot to tell them this morning because you put me in a box. Your punishment is being sent to bed early, after what you have done. Jeffy: Time to wake up now, let’s sneak. Not so fast. We’ll see about that. You just earned your eleventh strike. Aha, a face-cutout standee. Now let’s go. Oh no, Baby Bear’s getting closer. Let’s jump out. Aha, now I caught you. You just earned your twelfth strike. Think again! (JEFFY LAUGHING TAUNTINGLY) You just earned your thirteenth strike. Get back here. You left?! You earned your fourteenth strike. You'll see, I’ll go back to Florida today. He entered the bus. You just earned your fifteenth strike. It’s no use. YOU JUST EARNED YOUR SIXTEENTH STRIKE?!?! Aha, an airplane. I should go. Hey, Funella. Do you have an airport room? On the top, sir. Okay, thank you. Umm, you’re welcome. There it is. Hey, are you on this flight? Yes. Where are you going? Florida. You’re going to Florida? Yes. Do you have a boarding pass? Yes. Now pick an empty seat. I wanna sit at the eighth seat. Okay. Yay, I’m in the airplane getting away from Sesame Street. It’s a Furchester Hotel airplane. Jeffy: I pay you to outrun this stupid plane. Baby Bear: I pay you double to catch up with the plane. Jeffy: I pay you triple to leave them in the dust! I knew this would happen. Go out. Full throttle. Oh no, he’s catching up. Turn, quickly! Follow the plane, it smells like fog. Yeah, we outran this idiotic plane. Think again. Oh no, it’s Baby Bear. Yes, it’s done. Let’s go home right away. No, no, no, no, no!!! Jeffy, ENOUGH ALREADY!!! I wanna go back to Florida. Help!!! We’re already in New York. Sesame Street plane, turn back. No, wah. (WAILING) Shut up, we’re at the hotel so why complain and throw temper tantrums? Hey, you checked out and Jeffy, you made Baby Bear beat me up. Shut up. I can do whatever I want, take this you stupid rat. Hi-yah. Jeffy? Jeffy! What the heck is your problem! You earned your eighteenth strike. I've had enough of you! Jeffy: No, I've had enough of your strikes. Grizzy: Hey, put Jeffy down, you monster. Jeffy: Grizzy. Cat piano? What are you doing here? Leave him alone, you scary monster, scrat, you furry beast. Baby Bear: Weapons? Are you putting up an army? Jeffy, you did not leave me, did you? No, Baby Bear stole me. Dear Crabby: Baby Bear stole you? You did not, you furry beast, Jeffy is family to us. He doesn’t deserve to be in Sesame Street, come on Jeffy. Mrs. Pink Grouch: My pre-son in law was so scared. You owe fine. Cop Grouch: I owe you a ticket. Baby Bear: I’ll be back, but you haven’t seen the last of me. Jeffy, are you okay? Yes. Then, let’s go to Grouchland. Is that a hole? It’s a hole to get to Grouchland. A hole? Acquired, Jeffy, don’t go in there. Let’s just put my umbrella in the tree trunk. Whoa, looks like we’re on an elevator. Grizzy: We’re going down here, look the stairs. There it is, whoa. Right, there you are. Jeffy: It’s too late, we’re already in Grouchland. We’re outta here, now let’s go to your house. So, what can we do now, grouches? Grizzy: You love Hanna-Barbera shows. Let’s make a workshop. It’s gonna be the best one yet. Grizzy: (SINGING), Sesame Workshop is going down, Hanna-Barbera is gonna win against Sesame Street. Since 1957, the business started growing. Jeffy: Everything is gonna be working. I love cartoons, the painting will make you learn all about Hanna-Barbera. Then, I’ll get the wood. I’ll nail the nailings. Nails. Screwdrivers. Hammers. I’ll paint the rooftops and make it clear for everyone to see, and it’ll be in Technicolor. Mr. Grouch: We should do it the right way. Jeffy: You always say that. In two-strip Technicolor, probably. Ernest: Go to the top of Grouchland, why don’cha. Well, maybe on the Sesame Street grounds. Cover Sesame Street? Yes, the workshop above Grouchland. The portrait of Grover Cleveland? Not bad. Now let’s go, hidey-ho. Let’s go, hidey-ho. Let’s go, hidey-ho. Let’s go, hidey-ho. We work as a team, we slide and Sesame Street will lose, me and Grizzy will be famous of the best. There we go. Lights, camera, action. (JEFFY CACKLING) Now, everyone will know the name of Hanna-Barbera! (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) (FIREWORKS SHOOTING) Brooklyn: Jeffy’s cackling. He’s very evil, code red, we have a 20-year-old man who is being evil. He turned to black magic in Grouchland. Really, we need a police officer. I have some news, Jeffy is evil. I know that. Nails? Check. Wood? Check. Iron? Check. Silver? Check. Boss’s chair and meeting table? Oscarina: That’s you. Jeffy: Okay, check. Here is Grouchland. Yes, I get that. And why is there a cloud of smoke above us? Ah, a thunderstorm and lightning? I’m afraid so. Lady #1: Get a horse. Lady #2: Stupid thunderstorm. And fireworks. Mario: Are you reading the fireworks? Brooklyn: Y’know what, you’re right, Jeffy is the villain. Rose: Jeffy. Did he get kidnapped? Brooklyn: He turned to black magic and eventually, he’ll become evil. Rose: Officer, don’t you dare talk crap about my son. He is a fine gentleman, and all he wants is to be loved. (JEFFY CACKLING) Why did you have to make him so cruel, he was not ruthless at all, even in 2016. He has a good disposition instead of a rotten disposition, was he brutal at all? If he was callous and a low life hood then he would be an evil, greedy, selfish villain. Why did you make Jeffy rotten to the core? What the heck are you talking about? We're confused. It’s someone that sounds like Jeffy. How can you prove that it's him? He’s a fine gentleman and wants to be loved, he didn’t mean any of this. He just wanted to be treated nicely. Show respect to him. Mario: Rose, stop it, he was never kidnapped. I was just trying to get a Muppet to look after him and protect him. He was evil all along? Mario: Rose, snap out of it! After all the things he’s done to you, you still think he wants to be loved. (JEFFY LAUGHING MANIACALLY) Mario: See? Brooklyn: Weird spot for a hole. Eh. You are family to me, you shouldn’t give up on me. We should work together. Rose: How about we split up, Marvin? Mario: Rose, I’m tired of telling you to stop calling me Marvin. (MARIO SIGHS) Brooklyn: What’s wrong? Rose keeps calling me Marvin, and it’s giving me a headache. Calling you a Marvin? No, not a Marvin. It’s a name, not a thing. True. Back in 2016, we were in love and now she calls me Marvin? Now hold the phone. Why would she even call you Marvin? I never thought she would call me that all the time we’ve been together. I’m so stupid, I thought she loved me like a perfect wife. But that’s not how girls normally treat their husbands. Really? Mario: Yes. Jeffy’s singing. All right, you know the Hanna-Barbera cheerleaders. Gimme an H. Hanna-Barbera cheerleaders: H! Gimme an A. A! Gimme an N-N-A. Cheerleaders: N-N-A! Jeffy: Gimme a B-A-R-B-E-R-A. (CHEERLEADERS MIMIC JEFFY) And why are you just standing here in the St. Patrick’s Cathedral? Come with me. Cover up the ground with silver flooring, because the iron’s really boring. The cast and the crew, and there is someone new. Grizzy, she’ll be saying something. Grizzy: As a matter of fact, we don’t care ‘bout Sesame Street. Our only home is HANNA-BARBERA!!!! HANNA-BARBERA!!!!! (EVIL LAUGHTER) Rose: So no one kidnapped him. He is the kidnapper. Grouchland has gone into business. He really needs help. Mario: Great, all by my lonesome in the cathedral. It’s 6:00 in the evening. And everything here’s as gold as the 20th Century Fox statue. It’s dark with no one watching. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) Rose, you're going to regret calling me Marvin. (SOBBING) Rose Byrne: Regret what? Not you, Rose Byrne. My little armada. After all her belonging to me, she would never call me Marvin. I just want things to go back to the way they were. You’re the worst. Well, I don’t live in America. I live in Australia. Australia? (MEANWHILE) Jeffy: What are you doing here? I thought you needed help. Well, let me help you. Let go of me x5. I don’t care about you, I've had enough of you. You’re too much for me. Give me an H. What are you doing? You’re right, he is evil. He’s the worst villain, not to mention, he is the worst bull crap I ever saw, and he likes to bathe in mud, and he looks like a big fat meanie. Rose: You’re kinda right, but you’re mostly hurting his feelings. He can be act childish forever but that doesn't mean he’s abandoned from learning anything new. He looks evil, he is a fraud. Mario: You hate Jeffy? I’m glad you snapped out of it. Snapped out of what? The signs of loving Jeffy. He‘s behaved badly after all these years. Brooklyn: Gather up at the... (JEFFY SINGING) The chair, the table. Hanna-Barbera yes, Sesame Street no. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Let’s go, we ain’t gonna lose, we are gonna win. Come on, let’s go. (UPBEAT R&B MUSIC PLAYING) (CHEERLEADERS SNAPPING THEIR FINGERS TO THE BEAT) Let’s go. JeffyandHannaBarberaYesSesameStreetNo. Really, time to type in my profile. There it is. I got it. Now everybody, Sesame Street is our enemy. Hanna-Barbera is our friend. Now, this is the last straw. We should do this before Baby Bear kidnaps us. Grizzy: You’re my boyfriend. Does a best friend leave anyone behaving? Well, grouches are imperfect in the way we do, and we can be evil together. Brooklyn: Uh-oh. Elmo: A bank? Hanna-Barbera. Seriously, who's gonna buy a stupid workshop anyway? Let’s check it out. Jeffy: Well, hello. So, I have a novel. Well, you wouldn’t mind singing. Would you? Jeffy: Singing is not really my thing, you know, Grizzy has all the tape measure and the film says two-strip Technicolor. Elmo: Sing the song. Jeffy: Whatevs. If you invest your novels in a bank account, safe and sound. Then the novels will be made into classic movies. And novels will compound, and you’ll achieve that sense of conquest, as your affluence expands as propriety... (JEFFY WHEEZES) Grizzy: May I, Jeffy? Go on. Okay. You see Elmo, you’ll be part of the railways through Africa, dams across the Nile, fleets of ocean greyhounds, plantations of ripening tea, all from... novels, prudently, thriftily, frugally... invested in the, to be specific. In the all-time fun, learning for no one, Hanna-Barbera BANK! Very well, Elmo, give me the money. Elmo: No, my gramma gave it to me. Grizzy. Yes, sir. When you deposit novels in a bank account, soon you’ll see. That it blooms into credit of a generous amount, semiannually. And you’ll achieve that sense of stature, as your influence expands, to the high financial strata, that established credit now commands. You can purchase first and secnd trust deeds. Think of the foreclosures! Bonds, chattels, dividends, shares. Bankruptcies. Debtor sales. Opportunities. All manner of private enterprise. Shipyards. The mercantile. Collieries. Tanneries. Corporations. Amalgamations. Banks! When stand the banks of America, America stands. When fall the banks of America, America falls. You see Elmo, all for the lack of... novels. Patiently, cautiously, trustingly invested in the... to be specific, in the all-time fun, learning for no one, Hanna-Barbera... Bank! Welcome, Scooby Doo Where are You. Elmo: Gimme back my money!! What, the bank won’t give someone their money. Well, I'm getting mine! Wait a minute. A boy who lives on 123 Sesame Street. Jeffy: If you want it back, you have to do this. (DANCING) Now, the trickiest part. Grizzy: Well, come on, dance! Elmo: Oh, thugs with dirty mugs. Baby Bear: Stop. Jeffy: So you wanna say, this is the office of the bank chairman, you cannot go there. Wah, help. Stop it. (JEFFY WAILING) Put me down. Put me down. Put me down. Put me down. Put me down right now! (HOLLERING, ROARING, SCREECHING) Mario: I may be walking around in circles, but I am still looking where I’m going, Brooklyn Guy! And why is that stupid bus here? Here in New York City, we have buses, we have buildings. We do live. We are not sailors, we are people. Everyone has difficulties. Mario: Well, gentlemen never have difficulties. Being a father is a job. Come again? Because, you have to take care of your children properly. Well, so long, fake Italian plumber. Weak jazz singer. Yeah. Shut up, I’m going away. Huh? Now, Jeffy, this is your apology letter to Elmo. A weak apology to a stupid monster? Jeffy, I want you to stop behaving like this. Dear Elmo, I am sorry for telling you to shut up. I didn’t mean to do it. I got told to shut up by someone. If you were the most annoying monster in the world, I would crash your party to a twirl. You are the worst monster I’ve ever met, and as for that, I've had absolutely enough of you. Now get out of my sight, I don’t want to... see... you! Ever again. Screw off! You big piece of crap! You must be the alphabet delivery man. So, I’ll put it in an envelope. There, now send it to Elmo’s house. I’ll show you the way. By the way, I am in room 63. This is the second floor. You do it without anyone watching. Baby Bear is drinking his mango smoothie. These are cups like lamps. These lamps are hung on the black lines you see. And this is the elevator. And here are the ones checking in. We will recognize that they’re busy, so don’t interrupt them. And, this is the doorway. This is the street. Lady #1: Aah, monster. Lady #2: Monster, get away from that kid. Well, hi. Can I get a ride? Of course. So where do you want to go? I want to go to Elmo’s house. I’m giving him a letter. I’m helping out the delivery man. Well, there you are. Elmo: (YAWNING) Jeffy, go away. Jeffy: Elmo, I was just... I’m sorry, Elmo. Now, put it in there. So, how do we get back home? We just go from Big Bird’s nest. Go somewhere off Sesame Street. There it is. The Furchester Hotel. Yes. Now let’s go in. How? Push me. Okay. Whee! There, now to unbuckle. (JEFFY YAWNING) Brooklyn: Uh, hello. Mario? Rose? Guys, where are you?! Oh, I forgot, I was going back to Florida. Simmons: Well, here I am. So, why the glum face? I see you feel bad and said you are going home. I was. So, you see. I disco like a jazz dancer. If I loved jazz, then it would be like: 🎷🎸🥁🎹. I was born being in a jazz band. A couple months ago, I felt like I was gonna cry. But, it’s almost Halloween. Sometimes I get scared, I always think of god when I am. You see, (SINGING) When I lay in my covers at night, I try not to be scared with all my might. I look around and see the village square to the night sky. And then he... boogies up and down, and then he shuffles right, slips and splashes in the full moonlight. Alligators with their teeth so bright smile and sway there. And soon the loons are joining in the jamboree, everybody’s happy just like me. Watch him dance on that log, Look, it’s the “Disco Frog”! (20th CENTURY FOX DRUMROLL PLAYING) Disco frogs go in to the water, the bayou’s nice for tadpoles and daughters. Young female frogs are tadpoles. And look, if it’s scary for you. You find a spot to take off your shoes. (BROOKLYN TRIES TO RETCH) Sorry, taking off shoes outside is so... like... ew. The Disco Frog is very happy, there are bops to the beat to get sappy. Beavers are sappy, I am not a beaver. Y’know, I’m not a beaver either. If the water’s clean and deep, the city center is where the frogs don’t leap. Stop being so silly. Now here, where the woods are dark and scary too, I bet you can go looby-loo. Here we go, looby-loo. That’s a nursery rhyme. (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) (DISCO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) In the evening when the sun goes down, folks all hurry to the edge of town. At the bayou bank, they stand and wait in the clear air. Soon the water ripples catch their eye, and the ladies hush and breath a sigh. On a lily pad, all dressed in white, he appears there. And then he... boogies up and down, and shuffles right, slips and splashes in the full moonlight. Alligators with their teeth so bright smile and sway there. And soon the loons are joining in the jamboree, everybody’s happy just like me. Watch him dance on that log. Yeesh, it’s the ”Disco Frog”! (DRUMBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) (MY POLLIWOG WAYS PLAYING) Dancer: Look at... Karen: I’m cooking a dish here, I cannot eat anymore. Penelope: Mom, where are you going, the plane’s gone. I’m going to sleep in a motel. Thank God. Your turn. Go! (AIR HISSING) You must remember when you’re low, feeling in the wars. Simmons: Someone’s up your chimney. Brooklyn: And it isn’t Santa Claus. If you need us or if you don’t, doesn’t make much odds. We’ll be watching over you, brushes brooms, and rods. Over the rooftops. Over the rooftops, over the rooftops, over the rooftops, over the rooftops. Over the rooftops, step in time. Over the rooftops, step in time. Never need a reason, never need a rhyme. Over the rooftops, step in time. Link your elbows, step in time, link your elbows, step in time. Never need a reason, never need a rhyme. Link your elbows, step in time. Kick your knees up, step in time, kick your knees up, step in time, never need a reason, never need a rhyme. Kick your knees up, step in time. Dancer #1: Step in time. Dancer #2: Step in time. Step, step, step. Dancer #3: Step in time. Dancer #4: Step in time. Step, step, step. Never need a reason, never need a rhyme. Never need a reason, never need a rhyme. If you kick your knees up, kick your knees up, kick your knees up, kick your knees up. Step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step. Never need a reason if you step in time. Mario: I thought you were going back to Florida. Brooklyn: Well, Mario. Brooklyn Guy, you know what? I’ve been working so hard trying to get Jeffy to behave. You had to protect the city instead of being there with some silly old cartoons. Instead, you lied to them. You lied to Baby Bear, and you lied to Elmo, and you lied to Big Bird, and you lied to Rose, and you also lied to me. We’re your friends! Look, it’s up to you, you had to do it my way instead of leaving the monsters of Sesame Street unprotected. Brooklyn: Look, I’m sorry I lied. I’m also sorry I called you a weak jazz singer. Mario: I’m going, bye-bye, I’m cooking some soup. (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) Bye, Simmons. What? I lied to everybody, including Mario and Rose. What?! I mean, look, you never lie. Brooklyn: They literally made an entire video about how much I lie, it's not a big secret. Well, I’m going. (SIMMONS CHUCKLES) Where? Brooklyn: Where I can learn not to lie to anyone, even my closest friends. Brooklyn? Brooklyn! Grizzy: You don’t care what will happen to me, do you? Bring me my clothes, please. Jeffy, don’t you love me? What would happen to me, if I said goodbye to all my friends I loved. Run along, spit-spot. (SOBBING) You won’t go, will you, Jeffy? Now listen, I’m off to yell at the monsters on Sesame Street. Now spit-spot. Goodbye. A tunnel, the one I went down with Oscar and Grundgetta. Oscar’s not home, he’s in Grouchland. Aha, Oscar’s ladder. Almost... there. (JEFFY PANTING) There. Jeffy, you just earned your ninteenth strike. (JEFFY GROANING) This is the last straw, I’ve been tortured for long enough. Mr. Goodman: Waiter. Grover: Good afternoon, sir. Would you like to try one of our special hot dog pizzas? No, I just want a small pepperoni pizza, please. Yes, sir, I will be right back with your small pepperoni pizza. Charlie, give me one small pepperoni pizza. He better not screw it up this time. Here you are, sir. One small pizza. What the heck is this?! A teeny tiny pizza slice?! Why? Sir, you asked for a small pizza, right? Ain’t it cute. When I asked for a small pizza, I meant a small whole pizza. That’s larger than this. But not as large as a medium pizza, give it to me now. Yes, sir. Charlie, I need a larger pizza, but not this large as a medium pizza. Mr. Goodman: He better not mess it up this time. Here you go, sir. One whole pizza, that’s not as large as a medium. Hey, this is a medium-sized pizza. No sir, it’s not quite as big as a medium-sized pizza. Well, it is just a little smaller than a medium sized pizza. But it’s still too big, get me a pizza half the size of a medium pizza. Yes, sir. Charlie, we got a picky eater here. Get me a pizza half the size of a medium pizza. Boy, if that waiter messes up one more time, I’m going to McDonald's. He certainly won’t be working there. At least, I hope not. Here you are, sir, one pizza half the size of a medium pizza. Are you happy now, sir? May I have a tip? I’m not giving you a tip. But sir, you have to give me a tip. I gave you the food. I’m not giving you a tip, because I’m not gonna eat this, take it back! I’m going to McDonald's! No, x8. Sir. Please, I didn’t mean to fail. The customer’s always right, just tell me what you want specifically and I will give that to you this instant! Let me go. Please sir, don’t leave. I’m sorry for failing your orders all these years. Just tell me what you really want. I’m never coming to Charlie’s again and... that’s... final! Now let me go! Wait a minute, I forgot to ask you something, do you work at McDonald's? Yep. Actually, yes I do. I work on the one down the street. Why? Oh, nothing. Now let me go. No, x6. Please don’t go. I’ll give you a discount to show you how sorry I am. (NEWS FLASH THEME PLAYING) We take you with another breaking news story. Hi-ho, this is Kermit the Frog reporting you from the scene. Right here, we have a child who is yelling at some of our friends on Sesame Street, there is the boy over there. Jeffy: I will not apologize to Elmo, I never liked watching your show anyway. Oh look, here come our first responders. Hey, what you’re saying to our friends isn’t nice. Think about how you would feel, if someone said the things you’re saying right now to you. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t like this show because it’s not owned by Hanna-Barbera. Elmo: So what if Sesame Street isn’t made by Hanna-Barbera, wouldn’t everything be boring if Hanna-Barbera made everything, no diversity? Cookie Monster: I agree with Elmo, no diversity? Big Bird: Yeah, you can’t just be mad at us because we weren’t made by Hanna-Barbera. Rosita: I agree. It’s wonderful to have diversity on television and in people, different people from different countries and companies. Zoe: Me too. Why do you only like shows made by Hanna-Barbera, that would be very boring, you should try watching other shows. Yeah. You guys can’t make me change my mind. You can’t. I am the most stubborn and uncontrollable person in the world. I can't be taught or forced to do anything. I want what I want and I get what I want, and there is nothing, I repeat... there is NOTHING you can do about that. Here comes another response request. What the heck, Jeffy. Why are you yelling at the monsters on Sesame Street? That’s it, you just earned your twentieth strike. I already gave him a twentieth strike. This means, you are grounded, grounded, grounded. I’ll determine your grounding time when we get home, now we are going back to the hotel and packing. No, you’re not grounding me this time, I am sick and tired of being grounded. You forced me to come here against my will. If you had just left me at home, it would have been fine. But you brought me here. I emptied the weight I dug to show this was a mistake. I hate Sesame Street, and I’m gonna show you how much I hate it right now. Jeffy, whatever you do, don’t you dare. Jeffy: Silly old car, you are all a bunch of silly old cars. Silly old Chevrolets, silly old Toyotas, silly old Ford Explorers. Silly old whatever car you are. I don’t care if anyone hurts my feelings, I have the most stubborn and uncontrollable feelings in the entire universe. Even when I’m old. I love being bad and I don’t like falling for anything. I just want to stay in my home state of Florida. So you know that no one can stop me. I’m the most pussyfoot person in the world that you can’t understand a word. I want to go back to my home. I want to go back to Florida and stay there, and if you don’t, you all... WILL REGRET THIS! Are you seeing this? That boy is growing into a giant and he’s ascending. I’ve never seen anything like it. (BATTLE MUSIC PLAYING) Jeffy: Cloudy days, sweeping the sun away, on my way to fix the problems of my life. Can you tell me how to destroy Sesame Street? Come and fight where the day is night. Akumatized people there, that’s where we meet. Can you tell me how to destroy Sesame Street? It’s a stupid hashass ride, every door will have spinach with no pride, where that I hate you. Where I hate you, oh, what a horrible... cloudy days, sweeping the sun away. On my way to fix the problems of my life. Can you tell me how to destroy Sesame Street? Stormy Weather: Cyclone. Rogercop: It is against the law to run and use your outdoor voice. Elmo: Ahh, I need to hide. Backwarder: There you are. Edih ot deen I, ahh. Reverser: Reversion. Cookie Monster: Yum, yum, yum. Zoe’s a cookie. Yum yum yum. Ouch. Bakerix: That’s not how it’s done. Feast, go grab that Zoe person. The tangerine monster. Captain Hardrock: Jeffy, there is Captain Vegetable. With his sidekicks, Andy and Eddie. What do I do? Seize them! Aha! Andy: Someone’s coming. Captain Vegetable: Take vegetable. Elmo: Ytisrevid on, gnihtyreve edam Arebrab-Annah. Time Breaker: Stop. What, where am I. Captain Vegetable: Eat this. Jeffy: No! Elmo: (SPEEDING UP) (ELMO GASPS) Captain Vegetable: There’s his nose. (JEFFY ROARS LIKE GODZILLA) Bet you never experienced anything like that on Sesame Street, there isn’t even enough stuff that ever happens like that on Sesame Street. Oscar: That was the funniest thing that ever happened on Sesame Street, that kid isn’t so bad. Here comes a businessman responder. So, boy back there. You were the giant that just roared over Sesame Street. And by the way, I’m assistant of Sesame Workshop CEO William Jay Gaynor. Yes, that type of stuff just doesn’t happen enough on Sesame Street. This show deserves it because it sucks, that’s why I roared at it. So you hate the show, do you thing it’s okay to take your anger out by breaking property and roaring at everyone and scaring all the people of Sesame Street and surrounding areas? Think about how everyone feels about this, do you know what this means? Um, I stop receiving royalty checks for every time my own show airs? No, it means you are in extremely huge trouble right now! This is the worst crime that has been committed on Sesame Street! You, young man, are in more trouble than ever with Sesame Workshop! Your family owes millions of dollars, the buildings you damaged are valuable! Because of the Muppets living in them, you are now permanently banned from ever coming anywhere on W 63rd St, A.K.A. Sesame Street! Wait a minute, did Jeffy come from that one puppet show?! You are in so much trouble right now! (POLICE SIREN WAILING) Mario: We will talk when we get home. Police Officer: Jeffy, the rest of your family is here to pick you up. Jeffy: Look, I hate Sesame Street. It’s as simple as that, you went against nature by forcing me to go to Sesame Street. Mario: You already know that we had no choice but to take you there, now we are being reported worldwide about what you did there. Jeffy: Okay, so, I don’t know what else to do, can you ground me? Rose: Do you want to be grounded? Jeffy: No. Rose: Then why do you do things like this? Jeffy: It’s who I am. Mario: Well, then, you need to change that, because that type of behavior is unacceptable anywhere in society. Jeffy: I can’t change it, it’s who I am. Jeffy, we are taking you to a psychologist to find a way out of this mess you've been in all these years. Brooklyn: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can misbehave your entire life and learn nothing new. Now go to your room. Jeffy: Wait, aren’t you gonna ground me. Mario: Well, Jeffy. I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like grounding you is working. Wait, I've got a better Idea. Jeffy: And what is that? Mario: (MIMICKING SIREN HEAD) You’re grounsis, grounsis, grounsis! Rose: For 43 chars! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Now go to your room. Jeffy: Um... MY VOICE IS JENNIFER, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (MARIO, ROSE, AND BROOKLYN LAUGHING) Rose: That was the funniest grounding we ever did. Yep, don’t worry, I’ll pay all the fines. We’re impossibly rich from our franchise and the money keeps coming. (JEFFY SNORING) Mario: Jeffy, get your butt down here, did you forget what today was? Jeffy: Oh no, I have a punishment day today. (CRYING) Mario: Okay, let’s get started with these punishments, you will have five of them, and the last one is super extreme. Punishment one: Drinking toilet water. Rose: Come on, chug it. This punishment won’t be over until you drink that toilet water. Mario: Do it right now, or you will have extra punishments. Jeffy: I... feel... like... I’m... gonna... (JEFFY RETCHES). Mario: Punishment two: Drinking toilet water while we dump extremely cold water on you. (JEFFY WAILING) (BAWLING LOUDLY) It’s so cold x3, help me. (CONTINUES BAWLING) Mario: Punishment three: Yelling, "I hate Chuck E. Cheese" for everyone to hear. Jeffy: But Daddy, Chuck E. Cheese is my favorite place. I don’t want to do it x4! (HE WAILS) Mario: You'd better do it right now, or else you’ll receive additional punishments to the five you already have! Jeffy: I hate Chuck-E-Cheese. Mario: Say it louder. Jeffy: I hate Chuck E. Cheese. Mario: LOUDER! Jeffy: I HATE CHUCK E. CHEESE!! (BEGINS TO WAIL AGAIN) Mario: Punishment four: Letting me punch you in the face. Jeffy: Ow x8, I can’t feel my face! (BEGINS TO WAIL AGAIN) Mario: And finally, punishment five: Giving you paper cuts and pouring lemonade on them. Jeffy: No x5. Ow, now I have some paper cuts. (LEMONADE POURS) Jeffy: (BAWLING) Ouch, x9. Daddy, stop, stop, stop it. (CONTINUES BAWLING) Now, go to your room and think about what you have done. (JEFFY BAWLING) Brooklyn: Hello again, I heard Jeffy say he hates Chuck E. Cheese and cry loudly because he got lemonade on paper cuts. Where did you get these punishments from? I don’t have anything to do with pouring lemonade on a paper cut. I’m gonna see Jeffy. Jeffy: Go away, Brooklyn Guy. Brooklyn: Actually, I’ll have my hat stand back. Oh, so poor, I usually wear slippers. Alright. Mario: Brooklyn, congratulations. I’m so glad you did not listen to me. I knew you were just trying to do the right thing. Rose: Forget it, look. They’re going high up in the air. (SINGING) When you look up at the sky, you can imagine that you love to fly. Let’s go high up into the air. You’ll fly away like 43 chars, and look, you can see the stars. And because it’s night, with all your might. Let’s not grow up in despair. Instead, let’s go high up into the air. Karen: You see the cold floating up high, and your joy will fly away like a surprise. I said, let’s go high up into the air. Now, Karen riding on a motorcycle to save cooking day. Go back home. Driver: Okay, ma’am. Penelope: I’ll fly away like 43 chars, and look, I can see the stars. And because it’s night, with all your might. Let’s not grow up in despair. Instead, up into the air. Horses, off. Excuse me, have you seen a pegasus? Yes, I have. On the farm, I do. Wow, a purple pegasus? Now, go back to your terraced house. Brooklyn: You can skate on the clouds, and waltz by the city across the byway. You can reach and leap over the highway. Simmons: You can swing to the the town, and then you'll soar through the air like a plane. Mario: Going through the valley, the mountains, and the plains. We’ll fly up like 43 chars, and look, we can see the stars. And because it’s night, with all your might. Let’s not grow up in despair. Instead, let’s go high up into the air. We love the view, it’s so new. We’ll be free forever, so let’s go high up into the air. Crowd: We’ll fly up like 43 chars. Now look, we can see the stars. And because it’s night, with all your might. Let’s not grow up in despair. Instead, let’s go high up into the air. Let’s go high up into the air. Jeffy: What? You didn’t think this was the end of the story... (SINISTER CHUCKLE) ...did you?
Category:Transcripts