The Gooblynnfather/transcript

Previous Episode: Swimming of Pity
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: August 12, 2023
Episode Copyrighted: 2023
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode opens at the Krusty Krab, where Bubble Bass is drinking a shake. SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen with a plate of Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Your order is ready, Mr. Bass. *trips on a nail* Whoops. *flies through the air* Whoa!
SpongeBob's plate lands on Bubble Bass's table and bounces up.
Bubble Bass: *gets startled and his shake flies in the air*
The ingredients get mixed by the ceiling fan and land in his cup.
Bubble Bass: Ugh, you've mingled Krabby Patty in my kelp shake! *close up*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *reaches for it* Sorry, let me refresh that for you.
Bubble Bass: *holds my hand out* Hold your seahorses. Hmm. *licks it and tastes it* It's greasy, yet cool and refreshing. *drinks it* Fetch me another posthaste! *eats the pickle*
Customers: *crowd around Bubble Bass*
Mr. Krabs: *flies in with wings made of money*
Customer #1: That does look good.
Customer #2: I want one too.
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, I sense a money-tunity!
Lynn Loud Sr.: *writes “LYNNSAGNA WHIP $10" on the Galley Grub* The brand-new Lynnsagna Whip is now on the menu, available for a moderately exorbitant upcharge. *winks*
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob pouring Krabby Patties, Lasagna and their ingredients into a machine. Leni is pedaling on a bike, tempted by a Lynnsagna Whip hanging on a string.
Customers: *gives Mr. Krabs our money*
Who then puts it in the register.
Squidward Tentacles: *fills a cone with Lynnsagna Whip*
Customers: Can I get two to-go? / Two to-go please.
Lynn Loud Sr.: Keep those Lynnsagna Whips coming, Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: I'm trying! *pulls the handle*
It sprays on him.
Squidward Tentacles: Ah, bleh!
Slide transition cuts to the Loud House that night.
Squidward Tentacles: *push the Lynnsagna Whip machine to the kitchen* It's ready.
There's a knock at the door.
Squidward Tentacles: Huh? You can harden your arteries tomorrow. It's night time!
The door is kicked open and Squidward is sent flying into a trash can. Two muscular men in Goofy Goober's outfits walk in, followed by the Goofy Manager in a black suit.
Lincoln Loud: Squidward, what's going on?
Squidward Tentacles: It's the goons.
Purple Goon: The Gooblynnfather would like to have a little talk with your boss.
Lynn Loud Sr.: Gooblynnfather? Aren't you the manager of the Goofy Goober?
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): That's just my day job. The Gooblynnfather is my true identity. I control all the ice cream trade in this town, and I heard about your little [pulls down menu] fatty flips.
Lynn Loud Sr.: *points to menu* That's Lynnsagna Whips. And a little friendly competition never hurt anyone.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): *chuckles and pushes the menu back up* Of course not, but maybe you should stick to flipping patties and leave the frozen treats to the experts, *tips over Lincoln's Lynnsagna Whip* hmm?
Lynn Loud Sr.: I'm not gonna stop selling my newest cooking maker.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): *snaps* Do your stuff, boys. *points*
Goons: *takes out giant ice cream scoops and pick up a snoring Patrick off his bike*
Patrick Star: *snores* Huh? What? Mama, I want to sing. *gets launched out of the restaurant* Whoa! Ah! *crashes outside, then offscreen* I'm okay!
The goons destroy the Lynnsagna Whip machine with their scoops.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): Be thankful I didn't turn you into gelato. *laughs*
Green Goon: Good one, boss.
Lincoln Loud: *turns the lever on the machine, and it sprays Lynnsagna Whip in Squidward's face*
Squidward Tentacles: Oh!
Lincoln Loud: Aw. No more Lynnsagna Whips.
Lynn Loud Sr.: Mr. Krabs?!
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, boyos. *points to self* This is me restaurant. And no one tells me what's on me menu but me.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *drinks the Lynnsagna Whip off Squidward's head with a straw*
Slide transition cuts to him walking into work the next morning, only to see Fred with a Lynnsagna Whip, to his surprise. Customers are eating them again and Squidward is serving them. The machine is repaired.
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Lynnsagna Whip machine, it's working again!
Squidward Tentacles: *fills cones with Lynnsagna Whip and holds them in each of his tentacles, then bounces away*
Mr. Krabs: I spent all night rebuilding it. Mr. Loud said Lynnsagna Whips are back on the menu!
Lincoln Loud: But, Mr. Krabs, what if the Gooblynnfather and his goober goons come back?
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry. I brought in a little protection meself. Come on out, boys!
Old Man Walker walks out of the bathroom, followed by Old Man Jenkins.
Lincoln Loud: Uh, aren't they a little, uh, elderly?
Old Man Jenkins: We may be a little wrinkly... *bites arm*
Old Man Walker: *flexes* But we're as tough as jerky! *falls over*
Old Man Jenkins: Bleh!
He is dentures are stuck on his arm.
Squidward Tentacles: *serves a kid* We're dead.
The Lynnsagna Whip machine sprays him in the face.
A kid fish walks away, laughing.
Purple Goon: The Gooblynnfather would like to have another little talk.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): Well, if it isn't Mr. Loud who doesn't listen. *points* Teach him another lesson, boys!
Lynn Loud Sr.: Not so fast, Gooblynnfather. *snaps, to Jenkins and Walker* Throw these interlopers out of our house!
Old Man Jenkins and Old Man Walker: *slowly walk up to the goons*
Old Man Jenkins: Initiate formation 42!
Old Man Walker: *takes off glasses* Hey, look, *points* is that a sale on brass knuckles?
Green Goon: Brass knuckles?
Purple Goon: Ooh, do they have my size?
Old Man Jenkins: *gets behind the purple goon and kneels down*
Old Man Walker: *tries to push the goon over but can't*
The goon pokes him and he falls over.
Old Man Jenkins: *crawls away*
Old Man Walker: Ooh, sorry!
Old Man Jenkins: Uh-oh, time to skedaddle!
He runs into the green goon, who jumps on him and crushes him.
Old Man Walker: Oh, these goons are good.
Green Goon: *grabs him*
Old Man Walker: No!
Goons: *throws Old Man Walker and Jenkins into the Lynnsagna Whip machine.
They come out as ice cream.
Old Man Walker: Well, we're whipped.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): Next time you hire some muscle, Krabs, [flexes] make sure they have muscles. *claps*
Lynn Loud Sr.: Huh?
The green goon is holding a rocket launcher and a handful of peanuts.
Green Goon: Eat goobers, you goofballs!
He shoots peanuts at the bike. The tire blows, it comes loose.
Patrick Star: *drives it into the Lynnsagna Whip machine, blowing it up and yells*
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather) and Goons: *laughs and leaves the house*
Lynn Loud Sr.: Enough of this bilge water! Time to take the fight to the Gooblynnfather's *smacks fist in hand* home turf!
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Lincoln and Lynn Sr. driving up to Goofy Goober's.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *giggles*
They go behind the restaurant and sneak behind a dumpster. When a waiter comes out, Mr. Krabs uses SpongeBob as a hammer to hit him on the head and knock him out. Mr. Krabs pulls him behind and the dumpster shakes. They come out with Lincoln as the head and Lynn Sr. as the body.
Lincoln Loud: Sorry!
Mr. Krabs: *laughs*
As they head inside.
Lynn Loud Sr.: Keep your eye open for anything worth sabotaging.
Purple Goon: Hey, you!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *nervously* Who, me? Um, um...
Purple Goon: Give me a double scoop of kelp swirl with extra sprinkles.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Coming up! Double K swirl and make it snow!
He serves the goon the ice cream. The goon walks off happily and licks it.
Lynn Loud Sr.: *looks around and sees a thermostat* Hmm. That thermostat, that'll do. Now all we need is a distraction.
Lincoln Loud: Don't worry, Dad! *takes out two ice cream scoops* I've got it handled. *jumps out and poses* Ta-da! *plays the spoons to upbeat music* Oh, yeah! Check me out! Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Green Goon: It's so lame, but I can't take my eyes off the guy!
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): I can feel the rhythm of his scoops in my soul!
Lincoln Loud: Oh, this is the tricky part!
Lynn Loud Sr.: *turns up the thermostat and laughs* This'll sizzle their sorbet.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Try and keep up, y'all! Oh, my scoops are on fire!
Purple Goon: His funky scoops are so smokin' hot, I'm sweating!
As his ice cream melts.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): *sees melting ice cream* Hm? Oh. It's not his spoons. Someone's turned up the heat! The ice cream is going critical!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Big finish!
Mr. Krabs: *grabs him and runs out of the Loud House* Come on, kid! It's time to blow this ice cream stand before this ice cream stand blows!
The ice cream cones start exploding. The Loud siblings get out of the Loud House. Goofy Goober's explodes and is covered in ice cream and fire. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Lincoln and Lynn Sr. are on the roof.
Lynn Loud Sr.: Time to cheese it, son! Never mess with an old Navy man!
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): *holds a flaming ice cream cone, shakes my fist* Ooh, I'll get you, Loud, your son, Krabs and his little sponge too!
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob sweeping outside the Loud House while humming. He sees Goofy Goober's driving towards him.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): Prepare to be annihilated!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *screams and runs away with our mops spinning in midair*
They run back out to grab mops and goes to Lynn Sr.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *screams*
Lincoln Loud: Dad, it's the Gooblynnfather! We're about to be hit by our house!
Lynn Loud Sr.: Don't worry, Lincoln. We're ready for 'em! *presses a button on the stove  that raises the oven to the top of the house*
The stove is replaced with a steering wheel.
Lynn Loud Sr.: *as attachments appear* Deploy soft serve cannons! Activate toffee treads! Hot fudge howitzer!
Squidward is spraying a hose full of fudge.
Mr. Krabs: Start the engines, boyo!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *salutes* Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs!
Patrick is asleep on a bike in a hamster wheel.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *puts ice cream in my mouth*
He starts pedaling.
Patrick Star: *laughs*
Mr. Krabs: Fire ice cream cannons!
Lincoln Loud: Firing ice cream cannons!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *pulls an ice cream lever to fire shots*
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): *rapidly spins my steering wheel* Evasive maneuvers! *screams*
Goofy Goober's gets hit by the ice cream shots.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): Return fire! Oh, er, return ice cream!
Goons: *launches giant spoon catapults with ice cream*
Purple goon: Have a double scoop!
Lincoln Loud: *gets hit* Whoa! Ah! Brain freeze!
Squidward Tentacles: *sprays fudge* Eat hot fudge, villain!
Purple Goon: *gets sprayed full of fudge* Ugh, such sticky yet delicious pain! *falls over* Ugh.
Green Goon (with a sprinkle launcher): Don't forget the sprinkles!
The sprinkles blast a hole in the front of the restaurant.
Lynn Loud Sr.: *brings out a giant food cannon from the back* Launch sugar cone drones!
Ice cream cones home on Goofy Goober's wheel and explode it.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *gets hit by ice cream*
The cannon fires at the goons and blasts them away.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): I'm sending you to the deep freeze, Loud!
Lynn Loud Sr.: In your ice dreams, Gooblynnfather!
Goofy Goober and the Loud House drive and crash into each other.
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, fudge! *falls off*
Lynn Loud Sr.: *climbs out of the rubble* Ugh, not giving up!
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): *climbs out* Me neither!
Lynn Loud Sr.: *rips off my shirt and takes out popsicles to use as nunchucks, twirls them, jumps over them, and whips them*
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): *takes out an ice cream cone and presses it to extend some scoops out*
They both fight. The Gooblynnfather's ice cream hits Lynn Sr.'s chest.
Lynn Loud Sr.: *samples some of the ice cream left over*
He hits the Gooblynnfather with his nunchucks. Suddenly, machinery is heard whirring.
Lynn Loud Sr.: What's that sound?
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): It couldn't be!
The Ice Cream King is riding a blimp.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather) and Lynn Loud Sr.: The Ice Cream King!?
Ice Cream King from SpongeBob SquarePants: *speaks through megaphone* Cease your hostil-lily-- hostile-- quit fightin'! Ice cream isn't meant for brawling! It's supposed to bring sugar fueled fun, belly aches, and brain freezes to the world!
Lynn Loud Sr.: He's right.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): We shouldn't be fighting.
Lynn Loud Sr.: There's plenty of his customers in town for both of us.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather) and Lynn Loud Sr.: *eats our weapons and hugs*
Ice Cream King from SpongeBob SquarePants: And if you don't quit fighting, I'll use my ultimate weapon, the ice cream bomb!
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather) and Lynn Loud Sr.: Ice cream bomb!?
Lynn Loud Sr.: *gasps* Wait!
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): We've already stopped fighting!
Ice Cream King: What? I-I can't hear you! Uh, hold on, I'll be right down. Bombs away! *hits button and rides down on a giant popsicle and waves my crown* Whoo-hoo! Yee-haw! Yee-ha-haw!
The ice cream bomb lands on Lynn Loud Sr. and the Gooblynnfather and explodes, covering Royal Woods in ice cream.
Squidward Tentacles: *screams*
As he is sent through the air. A human guy eats ice cream.
Human Guy: *eats ice cream* Hey, everyone, free ice cream!
Human Kids: *dive into the ice cream and eat it*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln, Leni, Luna and Luan Loud: *eats it*
Patrick Star: Is this a dream?
Bubble Bass: *with a wheelbarrow full of ice cream* Free ice cream forever! *giggles*
Ice Cream King: *pops out of ice cream and laughs* You're welcome!
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather) and Lynn Loud Sr.: *comes out of the ice cream next to the Ice Cream King*
Lynn Loud Sr.: Oh, it looks like we're all out of business.
Squidward is still chained to the chimney.
Squidward Tentacles: Will someone please get me down?
The chimney collapses on him.
Squidward Tentacles: Ow! *sighs* Typical.
Slide transition to the Krusty Krab.
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I help you?
Bubble Bass: I want ice cream with green sprinkles please?
Goofy Manager (Gooblynnfather): Here you go. *gives ice cream with green sprinkles to Bubble Bass*
Bubble Bass: Thank you.
Screen cuts to Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: Well, we're at the Krusty Krab I guess.
Luna Loud: We are, little bro.
Leni Loud: Yeah, we can totally get some ice cream.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't know how but it's free.
Luan Loud: Ice cream is free for sale.
Lincoln Loud: You think so?
Luna Loud: Yes.
Leni Loud: Free ice cream.
Lincoln Loud: Thanks guys, you're the best!
Luan Loud: So, what are we gonna order?
Leni Loud: Um, Strawberry.
Luna Loud: Cherry.
Lynn Loud Sr.: *comes over* Who wants free ice cream?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln, Leni, Luna and Luan Loud: We are! *rushes over free ice cream*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *eats ice cream* Wow, this ice cream tastes good.
Mr. Krabs: I know, boyo. Hey, where's Squidward?
Screen cuts to Squidward having a back pain.
Squidward Tentacles: *bone breaks* Ow!
Screen cuts in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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