Laugh Like Pee-wee (2012)

Laugh Like Pee-wee 2012 was the third installment of the annual Laugh Like Pee-wee event, held on January 15, 2012. The show was highlighted by the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match, Perfect Ben defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Bret Hart with Commissioner Slaughter as guest referee, and Carlito putting the WWE Championship on the line against "Macho Man" Randy Savage.
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==Background==
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the official group of competitors slated to appear in the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match. Who will win the most star-studded Laugh Like Pee-wee match in history?
Bret Hart's investigation on who screwed him over at Dr. Meinheimer hasn't gone so well thanks to the incompetence of SvR06's detective team comprised of Heidenreich, Eugene, and Mike Knox. At Laugh Like Pee-wee, Bret will be getting a shot to once again obtain the World Heavyweight Championship against the man who pinned him for the vacant belt at Son of Jackass. To ensure that there will be no crooked officiating, Commissioner Slaughter has said that he will take the role of referee in this contest.
"Macho Man" Randy Savage has made it official that he will be using his title opportunity to challenge Carltio at Laugh Like Pee-wee, claiming that he's about as cool as the side of the pillow that isn't the other side. Macho then proceeded to spit Slim Jim into his face. Can Carlito have the same luck as he has lately when not facing a guy named Disco Drew, RVD, or Ultimate Warrior?
As 30 combatants will be battling it out for a guaranteed spot in the main event of Diaz's Fuck Fest VIII, these two former champions will go head to head at Laugh Like Pee-wee to finally settle the score over who the true warrior is. To sweeten the deal, the winner is guaranteed a title opportunity at the following event. The Ultimate Warrior vs. The Chronic Warrior. Speed and strength clashes with weed and dank.
Al Snow managed to become the Intercontinental Champion at Boggle?! when he defeated Stone Cold and four other opponents in a battle royal. At Laugh Like Pee-wee, Snow will put his newly won title on the line against Austin, Earthquake, and Eugene. Stone Cold was not very pleased when he found out that this would mean he would have to sit out the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match. Take a wild guess what face he made when he made this discovery.
After the Hogans were stripped of the WWE Tag Team titles by Commissioner Slaugther, a 16-team tournament was held to determine who the new champions will be. The finals came down to the duos of Big Show and Rey Mysterio (collectively known as Show, Rey, Mi) and D-Machine members Mark Jindrak and Dr. Death. At Laugh Like Pee-wee, the teams will go head to head with the vacant titles up for grabs. It should also be noted that if Dark Dynamite Derek even thinks of attempting to interfere in this contest, he will lose his spot in the Laugh Like Pee-wee match.
==Results==
#	Results 	Stipulations
1	Show, Rey, Mi (Big Show & Rey Mysterio) def. The D-Machine (Mark Jindrak & "Dr. Death" Steve Williams)	Tag team match for the vacant WWE Tag Team Championship
2	Carlito (c) def. "Macho Man" Randy Savage 	Singles match for the WWE Championship
3	Earthquake def. Eugene, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, and Al Snow (c) 	Fatal 4-Way match for the Intercontinental Championship
4	Rob Van Dam def. Ultimate Warrior  	Singles match for a WWE Championship match with Paul London as the special guest referee
5	Perfect Ben (c) def. Bret Hart 	Last Man Standing match for the World Heavyweight Championship with Commissioner Slaughter as the special guest referee
6	DEFAULT won by last eliminating Snitsky 	30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match for a WWE or World Heavyweight Championship match at Diaz's Fuck Fest VIII
Laugh Like Pee-wee entrances and eliminations
Draw	Entrant 	Order	Eliminated by 	Time 	Eliminated
1 	Dark Dynamite Derek	8 	Chris Jericho 	09:22	1
2 	Dynamite Derek 	11 	Nathan DiBiase 	12:40	2
3 	Coach D 	1 	Shelton Benjamin 	02:21	0
4 	Saba Simba 	2 	Shelton Benjamin 	02:23	0
5 	Andre the Giant 	3 	Dynamite Derek & Ted DiBiase 	02:23	0
6 	Shelton Benjamin 	10 	Chris Jericho 	09:37	4
7 	Ted DiBiase 	5 	Shelton Benjamin 	03:18	2
8 	The Kingpin 	4 	Ted DiBiase & Shelton Benjamin 	00:19	0
9 	Walter P. Wiley 	6 	Lex Luger 	03:05	0
10 	Lex Luger 	7 	Dynamite Derek & Dark Dynamite Derek	02:49	1
11 	British Bulldog 	9 	Chris Jericho & J-Pac 	02:29	0
12 	Chris Jericho 	12 	J-Pac 	05:11	3
13 	J-Pac 	18 	Heidenreich 	09:49	4
14 	Iron Sheik 	17 	Snitsky 	08:43	1
15 	Nathan DiBiase 	13 	John Cena 	02:38	1
16 	Chris Benoit 	15 	J-Pac & John Cena 	03:20	0
17 	John Cena 	16 	J-Pac 	03:35	2
18 	DCR 	14 	Iron Sheik & Count Out 	00:48	0
19 	Count Out 	20 	Snitsky 	04:57	1
20 	Snitsky 	29 	DEFAULT 	14:37	7
21 	Heidenreich 	21 	Tajiri 	04:00	1
22 	Ricardo Diaz 	19 	Snitsky 	02:24	0
23 	Tajiri 	24 	Snitsky 	03:40	2
24 	Goldust 	26 	Snitsky & Mankind 	05:48	2
25 	Disco Drew 	22 	Goldust 	01:39	0
26 	Junkyard Dog 	23 	Goldust & Tajiri 	01:40	0
27 	DEFAULT 	- 	Winner 	07:51	1
28 	Winslow J. Wiley 	25 	Undertaker & Mankind 	02:14	0
29 	The Undertaker 	27 	Snitsky 	03:41	1
30 	Mankind 	28 	Snitsky 	03:42	2
The show kicked off with the vacant WWE Tag Team Championship on the line, as Show, Rey, Mi took on D-Machine members Dr. Death and Mark Jindrak. Although nobody in the match seemed to be working together well, Big Show and Rey Mysterio managed to pick up the win and the titles.
"Macho Man" Randy Savage challenged Carlito for the WWE Championship, after earning a shot at the belt last month. After the two took turns spitting apple and Slim Jim into each other's faces, the two battled it out in a competitive showing. However, Carlito managed to pick up the win and hold on to the belt.
Al Snow took on the likes of Eugene, Earthquake, and former champion "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in his first Intercontinental title defense. Eugene kicked things off with the early advantage, delivering a wedgie to everyone inside including the referee. Despite this, Earthquake managed to to flatten Eugene like a pancake and leave the new Intercontinental Champion.
In the Clash of the Warriors, RVD battled it out with Ultimate Warrior to determine once and for all who the superior warrior was. Commissioner Slaughter named "Little Warrior" Paul London the guest enforcer of the match. Although Ultimate Warrior took him in as his own, London remembered that RVD supplied his weed and helped him defeat the Ultimate One.
As he was already guest referee for the contest, Commissioner Slaughter ordered that the World title match would be made a Last Man Standing match. As Bret Hart appeared to have the early advantage over Perfect Ben, Slaughter grabbed Hart's steel chair and clocked him with it. Slaughter quickly counted Hart out, proudly handing the title to its current owner.
Backstage, the Hogans were seen debating over an unknown subject. A Hoganese-speaking translator was brought in to decipher the conversation. Apparently, the Hogans each felt that they should be the man to pick number 30 and win the Pee-wee. Due to their bickering, the Hogans apparently missed their opportunity to participate in the Laugh Like Pee-wee match.
In the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match, Dark Dynamite Derek had the misfortune of drawing number one. As everyone patiently awaited the second entrant, a cryptic video played signifying "reemergence". To everyone's surprise, a cape and cowl sporting Dynamite Derek walked through the curtain. As if this wasn't shocking enough, the likes of Saba Simba and Junkyard Dog made unexpected appearances throughout the course of the match. In the end, it came down to the unlikely combination of Undertaker, Mankind, DEFAULT, and Snitsky. Undertaker was first to fall, followed by DEFAULT's godfather Mankind. The battle scarred Snitsky attempted to hang on, but DEFAULT got the best of him, hitting him with the Funny-5. DEFAULT proceeded to toss the Herpe-Having Hellion over the top rope and to the floor to win the third annual Laugh Like Pee-wee.