Annoying Orange: Clam's Casino/Transcript

Pear: It's hard to believe that summer's already over. I guess time flies like an arrow.
Orange: And fruit flies like a banana. (laughs)
Pear: (groans)
(The screen shows fruit flies buzzing and flying around and eating Banana.)
Banana: Why me?!
Orange: Whoa! I guess Banana would've been better off "bread." (laughs)
Pear: You just can't give it a rest, can ya?
(The lights turn out.)
Orange: Oh, come on, Pear. You didn't have to pull the plug. (laughs)
Pear: It wasn't me!
(A lobster is seen moving a slot machine with a backhoe loader.)
Johnny Clam: That's it, fellas. Right over there. (The screen moves to the left to show Johnny Clam.) Perfect. That's the spot.
Orange: Hey! What the "shell" are you doing in our kitchen? (laughs)
Johnny Clam: Your kitchen? Not no more, it ain't. Hit it, fellas!
(Electricity powers up to show a sign saying, "Clam's Casino." Some slot machines are also shown.)
(Title card shows.)
(slot machines dinging)
Orange: Geez, the kitchen's really been "clammed" up. (laughs)
Johnny Clam: That's Johnny Clam, biggest name in the casino business since Frankie Figs.
Pear: Yeah, but why are you here?
Johnny Clam: Perhaps you better speak to my associates-- mussels!
(The screen zooms out to show the mussels, grunting.)
Mussel #1: Move it or lose it! Players only in Clam's Casino.
Grapefruit: That's right, chumps. (The screen zooms out to show Grapefruit with the mussels.) Get out or else.
(An unseen character growls.)
Mussel #1: Shut up, intern.
(record scratches)
Pear: Grapefruit, what are you doing?!
Grapefruit: Hey, if anybody's gonna be the muscle around here, it's me.
Orange: Yeah, you're a real gluteus maximus. (laughs)
Johnny Clam: Fellas, have a few chips on me. (The screen shows Orange and Pear with coins.) Relax, play some games.
Pear: I don't know. This whole thing seems a little shady.
Johnny Clam: Don't worry about it. It's just the track lighting. (A bell is heard dinging.) Uh-oh. Sounds like we got another winner.
(Marshmallow is shown having won on a slot machine and gulping gold coins.)
Marshmallow: Yay! Gold coins taste like chocolate candy wrapped in foil! Hehehehe!
(Midget Apple is shown playing poker with a lobster.)
Midget Apple: Hit me!
(A card is thrown on a table.)
Lobster: 21.
Midget Apple: Neato burrito!
Pear: I guess it wouldn't hurt to play a few games. Right, Orange?
(record scratches as the screen zooms out to show that Orange isn't there.)
Pear: Orange?
(The screens moves to show Orange wearing a crown and sunglasses. He is with two girls with two red dice.)
Orange: Yeah, Pear. This place is a "pair o' dice." (laughs) Get it?
Pear: (groans deeply)
Johnny Clam: That's it. Everyone have yourselves a great time. (chuckles mischievously)
(The screen shows Grandpa Lemon playing bingo.)
Grandpa Lemon: Bingo! I've got-- (falls asleep and snores)
(A slot machine is heard dinging as coins falling near Grandpa Lemon as Pear wins on a slot machine.)
Pear: All right! This is actually kinda fun!
(Orange is shown with the lobster. Orange is struggling on which game to play.)
Orange: Hit me! No, wait-- go fish. No-- king me!
(Marshmallow is shown in a claw crane game with soft toys of Orange. He gets picked up by a lobster's claw.)
Marshmallow: Hehehehehehe! That tickles!
Johnny Clam: (laughs evilly)
(Midget Apple is shown playing poker with the lobster again.)
Midget Apple: (anxiously) Oh, boy... oh, boy...
(The lobster puts another pictured card on the table.)
Lobster: You bust.
Midget Apple: Oh, no! I lost all my money!
(Orange is shown playing on a slot machine as the pictures are rolling.)
Orange: Big money, big money, big money, big money... (He loses as it doesn't show three matching pictures.) Aww! I lost again!
(Johnny Clam is shown laughing evilly and with some money notes.)
Johnny Clam: Hahahahahaha!
(Pear is using a slot machine. Again, it doesn't show three matching pictures.)
Pear: Aw, crap! That was my last chip!
(Johnny Clam is shown again with lots of money and continuing to laugh evilly.)
Johnny Clam: Hahahahahaha!
Grapefruit: Move it, deadbeat.
Pear: But wait... I just need a couple more coins. I can win it back! I know I can!
Grapefruit: Why don't you get a job, hippie, like me or Midget Apple?
(Midget Apple is shown being spun on a roulette wheel. He is getting dizzy.)
Midget Apple: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whooa! Ugh, I promise I'll pay you back! (The wheel stops spinning.) (moans) This is really bruising my ego. And my butt! (The wheel starts spinning again.) Whoooaaa...
(shame music starts playing.)
Orange: Hey! Where did all my chips go? I'm not so "chipper" anymore. (laughs, then groans)
Pear: See, guys? I knew this was a bad idea!
Orange: I guess we just lost our balance. (laughs) Get it? Balance?
Johnny Clam: Well, well, well. If it isn't our little citrus friend and his gang of little losers.
Pear: That's not fair! You tricked us! You're nothing but a crook!
Johnny Clam: I'm no crook. I just came here, took over your kitchen, took all your money, and now I'm gonna put you out on the street!
(dramatic music starts to play)
Orange: Yeesh, don't you think you guys are being a little "shellfish"? (laughs)
Johnny Clam: Enough, wise guy!
Orange: No need to get steamed. (laughs)
Johnny Clam: Steamed?! I don't get steamed! I get--
Orange: Steam!
Johnny Clam: Huh?
(Daneboe picks up Johnny Clam and his mussels.)
Johnny Clam: No!!!
(Daneboe puts Johnny Clam and his mussels into a boiling pot of water bubbling and steam coming out.)
Orange: Geez. Talk about a guy with high "self-esteam." (laughs)
Midget Apple: Well, I guess we've all learned a valuable lesson today.
Pear: Whoo, I know I did.
Grapefruit: Tell me about it. That was the best job I ever had.
Marshmallow: Uh-oh. I don't feel so good!
(Both of them groan as Marshmallow throws up the gold coins he ate and they hit Grapefruit.)
(End credits show, with the fruity question of the day being, "What would you do if you won 1,000 gold coins?" The screen shows shows a large Annoying Orange Inc. logo.)
Orange: (laughs) Knife!
(The logo gets sliced by Knife.)
(Video ends.)
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