10.4 In-Show Skit

Random is talking with a group of techs outside the production truck. He hears some one calling his name, and Styxx walks up.
Random: Hey Styxx. How are you?
Styxx: Random, I need your advice.
Random: Sure Styx, always happy to give out free advice. What can I do for you?
Styxx: It’s about Wevv. I need to know –
Random: WHOA! Wevv? You’re worried about Wevv? Don't you have a match tonight against X? Shouldn't you be worried about him instead?
Styxx: Wevv sent Socko to attack me! I need to know if he’s going to do something tonight. Wevv doesn't have a match tonight, and if I’m going to –
Random: Styxx. Listen to me. You don't have to worry about Wevv.
Styxx: But - !
Random: Look. I’m tired of getting asked these questions, and tired of repeating myself. You want to know about Wevv? I’ll tell you. Just watch this screen. I’m going to tell everyone what they need to know about Wevv Man. Guys?
The techs get up and head back into the truck. Random pushes past Styxx and starts walking backstage, towards the gorilla position.
Styxx: But Random - ! God damn it!
Random walks though the gorilla position, where a tech hands him a mic, and then onto through the curtain, and onto the ramp, as “A Perfect Circle” by Pet plays over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers, and Random slowly walks down to the ring. 
Random enters the ring and looks around at the cheering fans. He raises the mic to his mouth and starts to speak.
Random: For weeks now, I’ve had people coming up to me and asking me, in quiet little voices, like it’s some big secret, about Wevv. And I keep telling them, the same thing I’m about to tell you, that I no longer work for Wevv. Hell, even Watson called me, offering to restart Payroll radio if I gave him the dirt on Wevv. I told him no. 
Random: He shouldn't be worried about Wevv. No one should. Wevv is a pussy.
The crowd cheers.
Random: There is no secret to Wevv. It’s obvious. He uses people. He used me, he used Sick Fixx, he used Dalby, who I, like a damn fool, brought into the Payroll. What a fucking mistake that was. Dalby and I could have done great things on our own. But I thought Wevv could do more of us. Instead, we got the shaft. Wevv doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself. Now, he’s brainwashed Socko and Ryans. Now, he’s messing with Styxx.
Random: But you know what? Wevv keeps saying he’s going to destroy me. Good job Wevv. I’ve got a nice little winning streak going here on Inferno. Keep up the good work buddy. At this rate, I’ll be Heavyweight Champion in no time.
Random: How can I get this through your thick skulls Inferno? I mean really, his matches are dull and boring and the guy can talk until the cows come home, but he’s 0 and 1 without me. But if I had listened to him, I’d be jobbing, instead of winning. Wevv needs a sucker to do his work for him. Like Socko. Like his “special friend” Mr. Wang.
A shadow flickers across one of the lights above the ring. Slowly, a mysterious object descends. Random doesn’t notice and keeps talking. When it finally gets past the lights, it dangles above Random’s head. It moves with him as he walks around the ring, speaking to the people. The crowd sees it and laughs.
Random: I guess it’s up to me to prove to you just how worthless Wevv is. To finally open your God Damned eyes and beat the fucking shit out of Wevv! Inside a steel cage, where Wevv’s butt buddies can't help him! What the fuck is wrong with you people?!?
Finally, the yellow and white box descends into Random’s line of sight. The camera zooms in to reveal a box of Twinkies on the end of a fishing line. He looks up and sees it. His face goes red with rage. The box dips almost within reach. Random makes little hopping motions, and speaks into the microphone as he tries to grab it.
Random: Oh, very funny Wevv. You’re such a dick.
Random finally grabs the box. As he does so, a voice calls out.
Wevv: HOLD ON KENZO! YOU’VE GOT A WHOPPER THERE!
Wevv and Socko are at the top of the ramp. Wevv has a microphone, and speaks into it as he walks down to the ring. The crowd is booing, but some are laughing.
Wevv: See, the key to fishing is the right bait. And it looks like we choose the right kind, eh, Socko?
Random: Very funny. I almost laughed myself. But just like your promises, this box is empty.
Wevv walks up the ring steps, Socko right behind him. Wevv enters the ring.
Wevv: Empty? Hardly. You know what this box contains? Possibilities. The promise of a tasty treat, golden sponge cake, creamy filling, all wrapped up individually in a neat little package. But you never could see the possibilities, could you?
Random: You mean like shilling Twinkies for a couple of bucks? My standards are higher. Which you must be, to come out here.
Wevv: Ah, the verbal jabs of Random. Off target as ever. But none the less, entertaining.
Random: Fuck you Wevv, you-
Wevv: NO! FUCK YOU RANDOM! I’ve listened to your pathetic whining long enough! You just keep running your mouth, making up whatever stories capture your whimsy! You once sought the Truth, but it looks like you gave up on ever trying to find it! But I haven't! You blame me for the failure of the Payroll? You blame me for all your troubles, well, get in line buddy! I’m the Official Scapegoat of the PWA, excuse me, the LPW! I never promised you gold! I promised you, and the rest of them, an opportunity! And you kept fucking it up! That’s YOUR fault! Not mine! Did I force you to walk away? NO! You chose to do that! Just like you chose to betray me! Because you’re a selfish prick!
Random: Me?!? Whoooaaa!
Wevv: That’s right! An utterly self-absorbed prick! A bigger one than I am!
Random: Easy Wevv, I know you’ve been hanging out with Pope Fred –
Wevv: SHUT UP! I’ve had it up to here with your juvenile insults! You wanted the spotlight so bad that you betrayed me! You wanted the glory so bad, that you come out here and take this cheap shot at me! We had a deal –
Random: And it sucked!
Wevv: - To have a verbal debate here tonight, you bastard!
The crowd cheers at that. Socko moves from behind Wevv, and starts to circle around behind Random. Random keeps an eye on him.
Random: Apparently you’re not the only one getting the rub from Pope Fred, eh? Like my ass? I’ve been working out.
Wevv: I told you to SHUT UP! For once in your God damned life, BE SILENT! You tried to steal this from me, just like you stole my glorious return and made it all about yourself! But I was ready! I KNOW you Random! I know how you think! But you don't know me..
Random goes nose to nose with Wevv.
Random: I know that you’re lackey over there is about to try and jump me. I know that when he does, he’s going to walk right into a R-5! I know that you’re going to run away and wait until your patsy goes down and then try to jump me, since you’re too much of a chicken shit to try anything to my face. That sound about right?
Wevv: Is that what you think?
Wevv looks over Random’s shoulder. Random spins expecting an attack. Socko is just standing there, feet away from Random. Random spins back to face Wevv. Wevv greets him with big grin and a shrug, before firing off a Palm Strike to forehead. Wevv then grabs Random, and hits him with the Shakespeare on Ice. The crowd goes wild. Wevv gets up quickly and adjusts his suit.
Wevv: You thought wrong. As usual. You never could see the bigger picture. You see, I’m not in a match tonight. But my friend Socko is. Against you. So, I leave it to him to “clean up” as it were. Socko, he’s all yours.
Socko smiles and starts to stomp and kick Random, in a deliberate and calculated beat down. While he does, Wevv speaks into his microphone.
Wevv: Ah Random. You sad little man. You just don't see it do you? You’ve been here for weeks, and it’s all slipped right by you. That subtle little thing called Truth. Allow me to point it out to you. The “Truth” is, that this company is on the brink. The “Truth” is, this company could have been ours. You and I. But you got greedy. You, how would YOU put it. Ah, yes, you “fucked up”. You, in your quest to become a star, betrayed the man who would have catapulted you to the stardom you seek. But I’ll make you a deal. At Sacrament, I’ll make you a star. Inside the steel cage, as you wish. Just you and me. One on one. Mano e mano. All you have to do is make it there.
Socko picks up the fallen form of Random. He delivers the Socko Slam, as the crowd boos. Wevv bends down, to lean over the prone form of Random.
Wevv: You will be able to make it, won't you? I’d hate to disappoint all those fans who have laid out their hard earned money to see me beat you silly. No? Pity. Socko, is there something you would like to say to our dear friend Random?
Wevv hands the microphone over to Socko. Socko takes the mic, and looks out at the crowd, who are on their feet, booing. Wevv turns his back and tries to encourage the crowd to cheer. He claps his hands, and smiles.
Socko: I’d just like to say one thing. I am no man’s puppet!
Socko starts to pace in the ring.
Socko: I make my OWN decisions! Wevv offered me an opportunity, and I took it! Gladly! With that opportunity, I was finally able to make a statement to EVERYONE on Inferno!
Wevv applauds Socko. He moves over and pats Socko on the back. Socko raises the mic to his mouth one more time.
Socko: And from that one opportunity, many more have been offered. And I plan to make the most of them.
Wevv’s grin broadens, and he sticks out his hand to Socko. Socko smiles and takes it. The two pose in a handshake, while flash bulbs from cameras go off. Wevv turns to leave, but Socko, still holding onto Wevv’s hand, doesn't let go.
Socko: Like the one Jeff Watson just offered me after Random turned him down.
Wevv’s smile freezes. He turns back, and into Socko’s clothesline. He goes head over heels. Socko raises the mic one more time.
Socko: Thank you Wevv. Nothing personal, it’s just business. I’m sure you understand.
Wevv rolls over onto his hands and knees and shakes his head. He starts to weakly crawl away, but Socko cuts him off. He grabs Wevv by the shoulders of his suit and pulls him to his feet. He locks his arms around Wevv’s midsection in a bearhug, and starts to squeeze. As the crowd is going wild, a figure rushes from the back and slides into the ring. Socko throws Wevv across the ring, and makes his escape on the far side. The crowd has come alive, as they see Styxx standing tall in the ring. Styxx paces the ring, watching Socko slink around and make his way to the back. Styxx stops in the middle. He looks down at the groaning form of Random, and then looks over to see Wevv slide out of the ring, holding his ribs. The two lock glares. Wevv points at Styxx, and then starts to slink off. Styxx points back. He then reaches up and makes a throat slashing gesture, and spits on the mat. He then turns his back on Wevv and raises his arms, as the crowd goes wild.
*July 29, 2007