Breaking the Rehabits

"Breaking the Rehabits" is a Season 2 episode of Life in Bikini Bottom, and the 21st overall. It is rated TV-14-LV and C. 
==Characters==
*SpongeCock SquarePants
NOTE: List is incomplete.
==Synopsis==
SpongeCock is sent to rehab after a weed overdose, even though there is no such thing.
==Transcript==
We start with SpongeCock watching TV in his living room. He starts slumping down in his sofa, until he falls to the floor. "This is bullshit," he said. "I gotta get up and do something productive for once." He starts thinking of what to do. Then, it comes to him. He's gonna go smoke a bunch of weed.
SpongeCock walks over to the Krusty Kock in order to get some free weed. However, Mr. Kraps has other plans. "No free weed for you, boyo. The weed prices have massively increased ever since weed has been legalized here." SpongeCock then walks away, disappointed. Then he knows exactly what to do.
He goes over to Assy Cheeks' treedome, where she's masturbating to furry porn very intensely. SpongeCock is a little surprised at this, but he really doesn't care that much. “Uh, Assy?" "Oh, hey…. SpongeCock." She puts away her phone and other crap she was using to masturbate. "Ummm….. " (she holds out a tube of lube) “Free lube?"
Our whole universe was in a G and PG state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago was inappropriate, wait
Fatrick shit a stool, Shitward began to drool
They invented crap that rules
We built a great, great wall (we started cursing)
Shit, titties bursting, unraveling the coercing
This is Life in Bikini Bottom! PG-13!
SpongeCock denies her offer, stating that he has more than plenty at home. “Do you have any weed I can use?” Assy then goes inside her tree in order to get her giant box of weed. “I got all this for free… Some hillbillies dropped this entire crate off their truck by accident. They still don’t know I got it… suckers.” SpongeCock then takes the crate and quickly leaves. Assy then says, “Good thing they dropped another giant crate as well.”
When SpongeCock arrives home, Fatrick is doing the usual routine: eating ice cream cake and then taking a massive shit in the bathroom. “Nothing out of the ordinary, I see,” SpongeCock says. “Look what I got!” He sets down the giant crate of weed. Gory lets out a long ass meow, saying that he’s extremely hungry. “I’ll get you some food soon,“ SpongeCock says. “But first… W E E D TIME!”
A montage plays of SpongeCock smoking all the weed in the crate, with his eyes getting redder and redder as the crate empties. In the middle of the montage, Fatrick starts screaming, “WHY IS MY SHIT GREEN?! AHHHH!” SpongeCock then says, “Shut the hell up, will ya? I still got 1,000 more weeds to smoke over here!” Fatrick then says, “Did you put weed in my ice cream cake?!” A flashback plays of SpongeCock putting weed in one of his ice cream cakes. “This’ll be the shittiest prank there ever was… literally.” Cut back to the present. “I dunno, does Assy fap to furry porn?” “Uhhhhh…... “
Once SpongeCock is done with the entire crate of weed, he passes out. When he wakes up, he sees that he is somehow in a rehab center. “Hey, why is there white stuff all over my pants?” The other rehab members start laughing their asses off. One of them says, “We cummed all over your pants! Ha!” They start laughing harder. “But seriously though, they said you overdosed on weed. As if that’s even possible.” SpongeCock then wonders, Nah, that’s not possible. Or is it?
A retarded cop then bashes his head through the wall, and enters the room. He says, “Todeh is deh 1 of yur theerapee. Todeh, wee are gunnuhhhhh…..” He starts drooling all over the floor. A sober cop then shows up to take him away. “Sorry about that, guys. He’s mentally retarded… and really drunk right now.” The retarded cop briefly wakes up, only to say, “Jizzin’ on yer classmates shoze them uffection!” He then passes out again.
The cop then says, “Today isn’t the first day of rehab. Tomorrow is. See you guys tomorrow morning. You’re all free to go.” The rehab members all cheer and leave the rehabilitation center, along with SpongeCock. After they all leave, SpongeCock then lingers around until the building closes for the night. Then, it’s destruction time.
SpongeCock blows a small whistle, summoning Fatrick from his ice cream cake trance, and he comes all the way to the rehab center to see where the sound came from. Fatrick says, “Where the frick did that horrible sound come from? I was just about to take a shit!” SpongeCock then says, “I have a new place for you to shit right now. Come inside.”
The two sneak inside the building, and SpongeCock shows Fatrick the restroom. “It reeks of weed in here,” Fatrick says, “But I like it!” SpongeCock tells Fatrick to take his shit inside the toilet. He does exactly as asked, and the huge shit he takes clogs up the pipes. “Uh oh,” Fatrick says, “I don’t wanna get sued again.” “Don’t worry, Fatrick, they’ll just blame one of the rehab members. Besides, my next step is to erase all my records on the rehab computer. I’ll just go do that real quick.” He quickly goes into the office, gets on the computer, and erases all his weed records. “Come on, Fatrick, let’s get the frick outta here before this place shits itself!”
Moments after the two exit the building, a huge stench is released, causing the rehab center to topple down. “Finally, now I can get some damn sleep.”
The next morning, all the rehab members return to where the rehab center used to be, only seeing a huge pile of shit. They cheer and leave. When the retarded cop and sober cop see what happened to the building, they get real angry. “Wut happened to dis place?! Me is angree!!!” “I think one of the rehab members did it. I’ll bet it was that sponge-tard SpongeCock. Lemme just pull up the records here…” The sober cop opens an app on his phone, only to see that there are no traces of that sponge-tard anywhere. “Maybe I was just dreaming. Or hallucinating. Well shit. Literally.” The retarded cop giggles as the episode ends.
==Trivia==
*This episode was written on the toilet.
*The title is a parody of the Linkin Park song entitled "Breaking the Habit."
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