The BFFs

==Gumball's Old BFF==
::
:: Uh, Gumball?
:: What?
:: Someone put a pair of eyes on some cotton candy and dumped it on our doorstep.
:: My name is Fuzzy.
:: Oh, no, wait. It's one of those nineties talking toys that are creepier than bald men with long hair.
:: Dude, I'm alive. This is just how I look.
:: I'm so sorry.
:: It's fine.
:: ...for you!
:: Does Gumball Watterson still live here?
:: Oh, yes. Gumball!
::
:: Hey, partner!
:: Aw, Fuzzy! You haven't changed at all!
:: Oh, so it's congenital.
:: Darwin, this is Fuzzy, my BFF!
:: Oh... Pleased to meet you.
::
:: Did you really have to invite him for lunch?
:: Why are you so angry I had a best friend before you?
:: Heh, no one's angry. Who's angry?
::
:: Oh. Sorry, dude.
:: Why don't you have a seat, Fuzzy? We'll bring out some food that isn't you.
:: Uh, thanks, man. 
:: So, how long were you guys a thing?
:: Uh, a few years before you arrived and before he—
:: Hmm, hmm, hmm...
:: Uh, what are you doing?
:: Oh, I was just trying to work out if I give a darn!
::
:: So, was it serious?
:: Yeah, you know, things were moving along. We moved into a hideout together... Uh, what are you doing now?
:: Oh, just looking for a darn to give. Were there others?
:: No, of course not! You're—
:: Take this. I'm afraid that's all the darns I have to give.
::
:: Hey dude, why don't we hang out and grab something to eat in town? The food here is a little too salty!
::
:: OH, YEAH?!?! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! UH, YOU— YOU— YOU KNOW WHAT??? UH, UH, YOU— YOU, UH...
: and : Mm-mnh. 
:: You, uh, ah...
==Catching Up==
::
:: So, what you've been up to? How's Minnesota? Made any friends?
:: It's hard to tell. Everyone is wearing ski masks all year long. Either I have friends or I'm on a CIA watch list.
::
:: Yeah, summer's so short there they just call it "s."
::
:: It's so cold up there, rappers can only sag their pants under their nipple level.
:: Alright, alright, I get it. It's great! Stop trying to make me jealous.
:: Yeah, well, it would've been better if you were around.
:: It's that lonely up there, huh?
:: No, I do have one friend, Hank. He's pretty frozen.
:: What?
:: That's how you say cool in Minnesota. You have to adjust the temperature. Although, if he knew I was hanging out with you now, I'd probably be in room-temperature water.
:: Huh? Oh.
:: He's a nice guy, but, you know, it's not the same.
:: Look, I'm sorry, Fuzz. I really wanted to keep in touch and send you a letter or something, but turns out it takes toddlers four years to learn how to write. After all that time, it felt a bit like posting a get-well-soon card through the window of a hearse.
:: Well, I'm back now, and I'm glad we get to catch up on lost time.
:: Me too, buddy. Me too.
==Making a Deal with Darwin==
::
:: WELL, YOU— YOU KNOW WHAT?!! UH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?? YOU'RE LIKE A...
:: What the?
::
:: UH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?!? UH...
:: Dude, are you seriously still looking for a comeback?
:: Hmph!
:: Darwin, just because Fuzzy's back in my life doesn't mean I love you any less.
:: Really? How much do you love me?
:: Dude, I love you more than elderly people love walking around in their birthday suits in sports locker rooms.
:: More than Canadians love telling you which famous people are Canadian?
:: More than PC gamers love to bash game consoles.
:: That's quite a lot.
:: Come here.
: and : Mm.
:: I'm sorry if it looks like I'm overreacting, but I just don't trust that guy. He looks like a hairy thumb with bulbous, soulless, motion-capture eyes.
:: Would you please just give him a chance? For me?
:: Ugh.
:: How about we hang out together and play some games? You'll see. He's a great guy.
:: Fine. SORRY MY SEASONING ISN'T THE TASTE OF YOUR TREASONING!!
:: What?
:: You know, the salt comeback from before, and— oh, never mind.
::
:: Man, I am really struggling with this third-party controller. I think it's broken.
:: Dude, that's not a controller.
:: Yeah, it's the remote from Mister Dad's new massage chair.
:: Huh?! Uh, ugh! Ugh, ugh!
::
:: All right, you guys. Finish this one, and I'll take the winner. I'll just go get some drinks. 
:: Okay, what's your game, you furry creep muffin?
:: Ugh. Look, just give me a chance.
:: A "chance" to abduct your best friend and lock him up in a cabin in the woods?
:: What the? No! Look, can we just bury the hatchet?
:: "Bury?" "Hatchet?"
:: Okay, I don't know what you're trying to rope me into, but—
:: "Rope?"
:: Dude, you have a pretty weird relationship with your BFF.
:: "BFF-F-F-F-F-F-F-F."
:: All right, I'm out of here.
:: What? W-why? What's going on?
:: Look, I was gonna invite you guys to a sleepover, but I think it's best if I don't. I don't want to make any waves between you and Darwin. I just think you guys need a little chat... in front of a shrink... while wearing straitjackets... behind two-way glass... under the supervision of armed guards... because you're crazy. I just wanted to make that clear. Okay, bye. 
:: Buh-bye.
:: WAIT, WHAT!?? NO! F-FUZZY!!! FUZ— UGH. 
::
:: WHAT DID YOU DO?!?
:: Nothing.
:: You obviously did something. Did you see his face? He had the expression of someone who had just sat down on a warm toilet seat. What did he ever do to you?
:: Well, when you went away to get drinks, he— he stood up, grabbed a fire poker, and... and... he... Yeah, okay, I completely made that up and probably shouldn't have.
:: AGH!!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS???!!
:: I just think it's interesting that this guy's back in Elmore.
:: No, you don't. You think it's suspicious. Just say "suspicious!"
:: No, I just think it's intriguing—
:: No, you don't. You think it's sinister. Just say "sinister."
:: I'm just fascinate—
:: YOU'RE JEALOUS!!!!! JUST SAY "JEALOUS"!!!!!!!
::
:: Hmph. 
:: Wait. Where are you going?
:: To the brony convention in Liechtenstein. Where do you think I'm going?! I'm going to Fuzzy's house. So have fun being more jelly than a peanut-butter sandwich!
:: I'm not jealous. Look. 
:: What's that?
:: The needle on my give-a-darn-ometer— not moving.
:: Ugh. Look, you can still come if you want.
:: What was that? Sorry. I just wanted to make sure I didn't look like I gave a darn.
:: I said you can—
:: Hello? Is this the give-a-darn store? Uh, yeah, I'd like to know if you had any more darns left in stock. Yeah, it's for a friend. Oh, you discontinued the line? I see. Oh, you might have some left in the warehouse? Sure. I'll hold. Just a sec. Ah, right. Mm.
==Going to Fuzzy's House==
::
:: And then he was talking about how the darn mines had closed and that I should've invested in renewable darns and — whatever. Anyways, is your place very far? 'Cause we've been walking for an hour now.
:: Oh, yeah, it's right around the corner...
:: Good.
:: ...after the lake.
:: Right. Um, wait, Elmore's got a lake?
:: No.
:: Hmph.
::
:: Dude, can we at least make a pit stop? I need a new pair of feet!
:: Oh, but we're nearly there.
:: Ugh. Where?
:: Just beyond that pass.
:: The overpass??!!
:: No, that mountain pass.
::
:: Okay, maybe we need a little break.
:: Oh, thank you, universe!
:: Ah, much better. 
::
:: What's that sound?
:: I'm crying, but I'm so dehydrated, only air is coming out.....
::
:: I'm not gonna make it, Fuzzy........ You're gonna have to continue without me........
:: Gumball, I'm not leaving you behind.
:: I never said leave me behind. I meant you're gonna do the rest off the walking, get some form of wheel-based transportation, and come back to get me. Also, I want a burrito.
:: But it's just right there, right before Ontario.
:: Wait, are you telling me we're in Minnesota right now?!?!?
:: Come on. We're right there.
:: NO!!!!!!!!!!!! FORGET THIS!!!!!!!!! FORGET YOU!!!!!!!!! FORGET MINNESOTA!!!!!!!!! FORGET EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: Okay, I'll just wait for you inside, then. 
:: Oh, all right, then.
::
:: Huh. Weird. Looks exactly like your old bedroom.
:: Welcome back, Gumball.
:: The what is going on here?
:: You abandoned me, Gumball. You promised we would stay BFFs forever, but you replaced me. Put this on.
:: What? But it's for toddlers, it's too small.
:: PUT IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now you're gonna make up for it, starting right where we left off, and life is gonna be one long sleepover. Now, let's play- AAAH!!!!!!!!!!!
:: Darwin! What are you doing here?
:: I knew there was something creepy going on with this guy, so I followed you.
:: 'Kay. Why'd you dig a hole, though?
:: Oh, um, to bury the hatchet?
:: Oh my gosh. You were so jealous you were gonna whack this guy!
:: Yeah, right. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of Fuzzy. I'm jealous of his relationship with you. I'm jealous that Fuzzy will go back to being your BFF, and you'll abandon me.
:: A-are you still being sarcastic, or—
:: Ha! Yeah, sure. I'm being sarcastic.
:: So you're being sarcastic about being sarcastic.
:: Yeah, I'm just jealous, basically.
:: Aww, well, you shouldn't be. I love you, dude.
:: I love you more.
:: No, I love YOU more.
:: NO, YOU LOVE ME MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::
==Outrunning Fuzzy==
::
:: There! Get behind me.
::
: and : Ugh! Oh.
:: HE'S COMING!
::
:: WE GOT NO CHOICE!!!!!!!!
::
:: I'm sorry, Darwin, but there can only be ONE BFF. 
:: Yeah, me.
:: Wha— oh! 
:: Who— who are you?
:: Hank. I was Fuzzy's BFF, and now, I'm taking him back.
:: Sure. That's cool.
::
:: Help, help!
::
:: So... should we go help Fuzzy, or...
:: Or not?
:: Yeah, I mean, it's late.
:: We are far from home.
:: I'm hungry.
:: Well, I saw a really good taco truck on the way.
:: Where?
:: Eh, somewhere near Wyoming.
::
Category:The Amazing World of Gumball Transcripts