In a Galaxy Not Far Away...

In a Galaxy Not Far Away... is the fifth episode of the first season of The Whatever Show.
==Transcript==
Text: IN A GALAXY NOT AT ALL FAR AWAY, SOME BUMBLING IDIOTS ON SOME DEATH STAR THINGY ARE SHOOTING LASERS INTO THE MOON. MAYBE THEY’RE PISSING ON IT I DON’T KNOW I’M JUST SOME TEXT.
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Hey you stupid text, go away!
Text: FINE. (fades away)
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Now then.
Patrick Skywalker: What do we do now?
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Beats me. Hey, want some galactic patties?
R2-Sandy2: Darn tootin!
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Why did you transfer your consciousness to a robot again, Sandy?
R2-Sandy2: Because we’re all gonna die someday! Except me, obviously. I’m now gonna live forever!
(Patrick Skywalker shuts off the robot, and reboots her)
R2-Sandy2: Hey, don’t do that!
Squidbacca: RARARARARARARARARARG
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Oh shut up, Squidbacca, you’ll get to play your clarinet when we can find it. For now, though, we need to take down Darth Plankton!
Squidbacca: RARARARARARARFUCKUARRARARARARAG
Patrick Skywalker: Hey, watch your language!
(In the distance, Darth Plankton and KaRen are in the Death Bucket ship, plotting something)
Darth Plankton: Heheheh, it’s that time of the day again, KaRen! Time to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula!
KaRen: Jeez, even in Star Wars parodies you like to steal that damn formula.
Darth Plankton: Don’t talk back to me, non-computer wife! Anyways, I can’t wait to show off my new lightsaber to those doofuses!
(Darth Plankton pulls his new lightsaber out of the sheath, and it stands erect for a moment before drooping to the ground)
Darth Plankton: Hey! That’s not appropriate!
KaRen: Represents your own figure in bed, I must say.
Darth Plankton: Quit adding insult to injury! Ugh, it’s time I put this plan into action! Press the “create conflict” button, if you would, KaRen.
(KaRen presses a giant red button on the dashboard, and the Death Bucket starts approaching the Millennium Krab)
Millennium Krabs: Hey uh, does anyone smell danger?
Sponge Wan Kenobi: I smell Krabby Patties. Probably because I just made some earlier.
Patrick Skywalker: (burps) And I just ate them all.
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Patrick! Those were for all of us!
Squidbacca: RARARARARARARARAARA! (points to the Death Bucket in the distance)
Millennium Krabs: I was right! I did smell danger!
Darth Plankton: Stun seed kill, Krabs! I’m here to steal your formula once and for all!
Millennium Krabs: What the hell is stun seed kill?
Darth Plankton: Spell it backwards you moron.
Millennium Krabs: llik dees nuts.
(Vine Boom sound effect)
Millennium Krabs: WHY I OUGHTA!
Darth Plankton: It’s high time I break out of this thing!
(Darth Plankton jumps into his escape pod and exits the Death Bucket to enter the Millennium Krab)
Millennium Krabs: You won’t get away with this!
Darth Plankton: Oh, and I will!
Millennium Krabs: By the way, what is the scientific name for a pig?
(Darth Plankton does some research on his phone)
Darth Plankton: The scientific name for a pig is sus.
(Vine Boom sound effect)
Darth Plankton: DAMN YOU! That’s it, it’s lightsaber time!
(Darth Plankton brandishes his lightsaber again, and sags the same way as last time)
Millennium Krabs: HA! What a virgin lightsaber!
Darth Plankton: Well I’m not seeing you pull out yours, kid.
(Krabs pulls out a double edged red lightsaber)
Darth Plankton: Uhh… mommy?
(A long “yeet” sound effect plays as Krabs uses his lightsaber to knock Darth Plankton back into the Death Bucket)
Darth Plankton: I’LL BE BACK!
Millennium Krabs: Ha, when will he ever learn not to mess with the bright side?
Patrick Skywalker: We’re the bright side?
Millennium Krabs: You’re not very bright, but yes, we’re on the bright side.
Squidbacca: RARARARARARARARARARG!
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Squidbacca, we still can’t find your clarinet.
Millennium Krabs: (clearly hiding the clarinet in his pocket) Uhh… yeah, we absolutely can’t.
(Squidbacca notices his clarinet in the pocket, and rips it out)
Millennium Krabs: HEY! THAT WAS MY CLARINET!
Patrick Skywalker: C’mon, Krabs, you know why you stole it.
(Squidbacca starts playing Astronaut in the Ocean on his clarinet)
Millennium Krabs: Ow! Why is it always Astronaut in the Ocean?!
Patrick Skywalker: This is a straight up banger!
Millennium Krabs: I’ll bang YOU in the head if you don’t clam up!
Sponge Wan Kenobi: Well at least he isn’t playing Sweatshirt.
(Squidbacca starts playing Sweatshirt by Jacob Sartorius)
Sponge Wan Kenobi: FUCKING NOOOO-
(The entire scene freezes as text appears on the screen again)
Text: THE END.
(end)
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