Problem Spoof

You are one of the top pet salesmen in the city. Solicitations for your service are numerous in quantity. Compensation, adequate. It is a balmy summer evening. You are feeling particularly wakeful tonight.
What will you do?
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> Retrieve arms.
You've already got arms, numbnuts!
You feel like you've heard this joke before.
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> Chase tail for hours of fun and play.
Your floppy dragon tail is quite amusing...
...uh, you mean, no, what do you think you are, some kind of wild animal?
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> Open your window and breathe the probably to some degree toxic air.
You let in a little "fresh" air through your very real window while gazing into the poorly drawn city below.
It's no Universe City, but it's a thriving place, and you helped grow it. Its not where you're from, but it feels like home.
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>Take a look at the telephone.
You pick up the phone and prepare to prank call the local sandwich joint.
Without warning, the power cuts out and interrupts your call.
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> Wield sword.
Why would you keep any weapons, let alone a sword in your office? Isn't that a clear safety violation?
There's a LARGE DECORATIVE FEATHER hung on the wall, and a KEY over there on the desk.
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> Tickle someone to death with the FEATHER.
You equip the HEIRLOOM SWORD.
The familiar grip of its hilt fills you with the fortitude of your ancestors.
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> Pick up the phone again to see if it turns the power back on.
Having a relatively poor concept of how electricity works, you pick up the phone again, hoping it's some kind of switch.
Unfortunately, nothing happens.
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>
You frustratedly hang up the phone.
You decide to put the KEY in your pocket so you don't lose it.
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> Use the key to open the door.
In an attempt to shoot the lock off of the door, you use your equipped weapon on the door.
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> Retrieve FEATHER.
You attempt to dislodge the FEATHER from the door, but it seems to be stuck somehow.
Your VIM isn't high enough to pull it out.
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> Look through the door window.
Category:Stories
Category:Sigma Timeline