Sports at the Treedome/transcript

Previous Episode: Reef Blower
Next Episode: The Bubblestand
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: May 1, 1993
Episode Copyrighted: 1993
This episode is rated TV-Y7 for The Expect Smart Actually Season 1. This is the third episode of The Expect Smart Actually.
Yellow Rectangle: Ah, what a beautiful day. Right you two?
Lincoln Loud: Sure is, Yellow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah, four stingers.
Yellow Rectangle: If I wonder what Lynn is doing?!
Cuts to the loud sister, who is playing soccer.
Lynn L. Loud Jr.: *plays soccer* Hut hut. *kicks the soccer ball on the goalie* Score!
SpongeBob SquarePants: That little squirrel is in trouble.
Cuts to the squirrel, who is pushing the clam into the ground.
Sandra "Sandy" Jennifer Cheeks: Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners! *walks away* You're about as ugly as homemade soup.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hooray, land squirrel!
Cuts back to the land squirrel, who is oblivious to the clam resurfacing and jumping right at her. Cuts to SpongeBob, who is shocked, his glasses shoot up.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Look out!
Scene cuts to the clam with Sandy trying to escape the clam.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Hold on, little squirrel! *does a karate yell in front of the clam, then does the same while bouncing to different sides*
She jumps high in the air, and lands on top of the clam; she poses on top of the giant clam.
Lynn Loud Jr.: You have fought well, giant clam. Prepare to be vanquished! Hai! *tries to pry open the clam; then stops* Hey, I'm actually doing it. *continues, Sandy finishes prying the clam open from inside it and goes flying into a sea plant.* Your shell is mine!
SpongeBob pulls up his pants and starts to charge at the clam. He jumps into the clam's mouth and starts to strangle its tongue. SpongeBob sees that Sandy has already escaped and the clam swallows him now.
Sandy Cheeks: Hold on there, little square dude! *gets Lynn out and kicks the clam around some more and finally kicks it across the sea*
The clam whimpers.
Sandy Cheeks: *leans down to see if Lynn is okay*
Lynn Loud Jr.: Thanks, Sandy.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, you like karate too. *does some karate poses, then stops and falls flat on my head* So, what's your name?
Sandy Cheeks: Sandy. *makes athletic moves*
Yellow Rectangle: *to Lynn* What's your name?
Lynn Loud Jr.: Lynn.
Sandy Cheeks: So what do y'all call yourself?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *runs up a big rock* I'm SpongeBob! *jumps down corners*
Lincoln Loud: I'm Lincoln!
Yellow Rectangle: I'm Yellow!
SpongeBob soon lands on one of his corners.
Sandy Cheeks: Well, guys, take a gander at this. *walks next to a huge rock and slaps it with my hand, making a gong sound effect which precedes the rock breaking into pieces*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh.
Sandy Cheeks: *grins and blinks*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh yeah? Watch this *prepares to do a karate move*
But all he does is make an armpit fart noise. Sandy walks on-screen giggling.
Sandy Cheeks: I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah! *karate chops SpongeBob’s head.*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! *karate chops her helmet, but realizes it hurts* Ow.
White Rectangle: *does weights* 991, 992, 993, 994, 995.
Yellow Rectangle: Hey, what's your name?
White Rectangle: White.
Yellow Rectangle: I'm Yellow. Yellow Rectangle.
White Rectangle: Oh. 996, 997, 998, 999, 1000. I did 1000, I'm done doing weights.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Great work, White.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Awesome! Nice muscles, White!
White Rectangle: *has muscles* Yep, I see it.
Lincoln Loud: Say, what is that thing on your head?
Sandy Cheeks: Why, that's my air helmet.
SpongeBob SquarePants: May I try it on?
Sandy Cheeks: Heck no. I need it to breathe. I gotta have my air.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Me too. I love air. Air is good.
Sandy Cheeks: No kidding?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why, "air" is my middle name. The more air, the better. Can't get enough of that air.
Sandy Cheeks: Shee-oot. How about comin' over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? *shows a map leading to my house* Don't be late.
Yellow Rectangle: Okay, see you tomorrow.
Slide transition, Lincoln returned home tired and sad. He came to his room, where Lynn was sitting on his bed.
Lynn Loud Jr.: I saw your soccer match, it was...
Lincoln Loud: I know it was awful. If you came here just to remind me this, can you now...
Lynn Loud Jr.: Awful?! That was a horror, a massacre! You played so pathetically you were closer to a stomped floor than to a player.
Lincoln Loud: Well, I am not a sport person. No big deal.
Lynn Loud Jr.: *slaps Lincoln* Don't say such nonsense! Being such a failure is a reason to be ashamed!
Yellow Rectangle: Lynn, don't slap Lincoln! Be nice to him, okay?!
Lynn Loud Jr.: If you planned reading comics or playing games tomorrow, then forget about them. Tomorrow we'll start a training you'll remember forever.
Lynn left and Lincoln fell on his bed out of exhaustion.
Yellow Rectangle: Aw, bummers! She left.
Lincoln Loud: *to the audience* Lynn always wants to be the best in every sport, but it's strange she suddenly wants to be the best coach. We'll need to skip meeting her somehow. When she plays she's always serious and I am always wounded. Pain is the last thing on my wishlist. We have to start making a plan to avoid her. *yawn* But I'll rest a little for now.
Yellow Rectangle: White, why?!
White Rectangle: I'll leave now.
Yellow Rectangle: Hey, where are you going?
White Rectangle: What?
Yellow Rectangle: Come on, we have to start training Lynn. But none of this would've happened if she showed up.
SpongeBob SquarePants: We gotta get help.
Slide transition, Lincoln slept longer than he intended, so he didn't have a chance to make any plan. Lynn approached him and screamed "Training time!" right to his ear, much to his horror. He jumped terrified and screamed.
Lincoln Loud: Breakfast first.
Lynn Loud Jr.: No time to fill your belly with needless calories! Get dressed and we start training!
Soccer training with Lynn was true for Lincoln. Lack of progress made her angrier and angrier.
Lynn Loud Jr.: You won't leave until I change you from a failure to a soccer expert!
Lincoln Loud: Why do you even care to train me?
Lynn Loud Jr.: You're such a pitiful player!
Lincoln was scared and tried to escape only to be grabbed before he could make the first step.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Don't even think about it! You won't leave until I'm satisfied.
Lincoln Loud: But...
Lynn Loud Jr.: Quit talking! Back to train!
Luna observed her two siblings and decided to interfere.
Luna Loud: Enough!
She separated her siblings by standing between them
Luna Loud: *to Lincoln* Lincoln, you can improve your playing skills, you just need to want this. *to Lynn* And Lynn, you won't motivate anybody by constant screaming what you demand.
Lynn Loud Jr.: He needs to practice!
Luna Loud: He needs to rest from you!
Lincoln left and decided to rest in the bathtub. Before he entered the bathroom, Luna confronted him.
Lincoln Loud: I never asked for this.
Yellow Rectangle: Guys, can't you see, there's karate.
Luna Loud: You need a new activity than games and comics. *puts my hands on Lincoln's shoulders* You can be a better player, you just need motivation. You could be a hero of your team. You could improve your grades from P.E., you would feel respected and liked by your classmates. I don't force you to do anything, it's up to you. All I ask you is to consider this.
Sandy Cheeks: Shoot, I guess you ain't no karate.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Of course.
Lincoln Loud: Luna, I considered what you said. You're right. I have a request. Would you play motivational music, when Sandy and Lynn train us?
Luna Loud: *smiles* Of course I would!
Lincoln went outside and let Lynn train him again. Luna was playing her music that put Lincoln in a good mood so he could practice soccer better. Lynn smiled, when she saw her brother improving. After a few hours the training stopped.
Lynn Loud Jr.: I have to admit you made progress.
Lincoln Loud: I guess it's over.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Are you kidding? You merely mastered the basics. Tomorrow I'll teach you more advanced techniques. We'll train every day after school.
Lincoln Loud: Dang it! This will be long.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *leaves*
Slide transition to Patrick's House.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *runs to Patrick's house.
Patrick is sun tanning on his rock.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air?
Patrick Star: Huh?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I just met this girl. She wears a hat full of... air.
Patrick Star: Do you mean she puts on "airs"?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I guess so.
Patrick Star: That's just fancy talk. If you wanna be fancy, hold your pinky up like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *holds my pinky up* How's that?
Patrick Star: Higher.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Like that?
Patrick Star: Now that's fancy. They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants.
Lincoln Loud: *runs to SpongeBob and Patrick* Hey SpongeBob and Patrick.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lincoln, thank goodness you're here to see us.
Lincoln Loud: We train Lynn how to play soccer.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, that's cool.
Cuts to Sandy's treedome.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Remember: When in doubt, pinky out. You can do it, SpongeBob. I'll be watching. 
Lincoln Loud: Come on, SpongeBob.
Yellow Rectangle: Ring the doorbell, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay.
White Rectangle: Lynn, he's ringing the doorbell.
Lynn Loud Jr.: I know.
Sandy Cheeks: *opens the door as SpongeBob walks in with his pinky raised high and flowers in his right hand*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Thanks, pal. *rings the doorbell with a bouquet in my hand*
Sandy Cheeks: Hello?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hi-ya, Sandy. It’s me, SpongeBob.
Sandy Cheeks: Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *whistles then all the water goes down the drain, then bangs on the door* Sandy! Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy!
Lynn Loud Jr.: No worries, SpongeBob. Sandy will open the door.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Thank you, Lynn.
Lynn Loud Jr.: No problem, bro.
Sandy Cheeks: *opens the door*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *jiggles on the ground* Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There's no water in... *looks around* ...here.
Sandy Cheeks: ‘Course there's no water. Nuttin' but air.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *waves my hand around and smells the air* No water?
Lincoln Loud: There's no water at Sandy's treedome.
Sandy Cheeks: That ain't a problem, is it? Hi-yah!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Problem? *laughs* Hi-yah!
Lincoln Loud: Hi-yah!
SpongeBob SquarePants: That's how I like my air! *takes a deep breath as Sandy walks off*
As soon as she leaves, he lets it all out, and gets black circles around his eyes. With no water.
Sandy Cheeks: *cartwheels* Well, alright. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! Hi-yah!
Lynn Loud Jr.: In, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob is walking an inch forward and it makes weak squeaking sounds with every step.
Sandy Cheeks: That's not in. In.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *walks another inch and there is more squeaking*
Sandy Cheeks: *runs, gets SpongeBob, takes his hand, and runs off* You're a funny little dude. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour. *fades to the blazing sun and pan down where me and SpongeBob are standing* So this is my own private little air bubble.
Sandy Cheeks and Lynn Loud Jr.: This air is the driest…
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *gasps*
Sandy Cheeks and Lynn Loud Jr.: ...purest... 
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *gasps again*
Sandy Cheeks and Lynn Loud Jr.: ...most airiest air in the whole sea.
Sandy Cheeks: Oh, over there's my birdbath.
Lincoln Loud: Dang it.
Few days later Lincoln had his next soccer match. He impressed everyone by his improved skills. However he got cocky and overconfident, he was so sure of his skills that he started to play solo at cost of points for his team in the first half. He was scolded by everyone. Lynn approached him.
Lincoln Loud: I don't get it. I improved, so why is my team losing?
Lynn Loud Jr.: You play solo. That's why. Don't do it!
Lincoln Loud: Right, I was so impressed by myself that I forgot I played in a team.
Lynn Loud Jr.: I forgot to teach you about teamwork.
White Rectangle: I forgot about it too.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Just give the ball to your teammates, when you have a chance.
In the second half Lincoln assisted his teammates instead of playing solo. That caused the match to end with a draw.
Lincoln Loud: *to the audience* In a team there is no room for solo actions. I improved my skills thanks to Lynn, but I forgot how important is teamwork. Desire of fame is so tempting and can be so easily blind.
Lynn Loud Jr.: You played well, but you didn't win.
Yellow Rectangle: Lynn, why Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: At least I am no longer ashamed of my team. Thanks a lot for training.
Lynn Loud Jr.: With us as your coach you can win the next match.
Sandy Cheeks: Don't worry. You can do better, Lincoln.
They were walking together to their home.
Lincoln Loud: I can't believe you used me because of your pride.
Lynn Loud Jr.: I know, don't remind me.
Lincoln Loud: At least we have something to celebrate. I improved my playing skills, my grades from P.E. got better, my teammates don't treat me like a loser.
Lynn Loud Jr.: So what about playing soccer tomorrow together?
Lincoln Loud: I'd rather play video games. We can play together.
Lynn Loud Jr.: So you don't change after all, but I'm OK with that.
Lincoln Loud: I can do it.
Sandy Cheeks: That's good to hear, Lincoln. Let's practice playing soccer.
Lincoln Loud: Okay.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Have fun, Lincoln.
Slide transition to The Loud House in the backyard, Lincoln is practicing playing soccer.
Lincoln Loud: *practices playing soccer*
Lynn Loud Jr.: Lincoln, kick the ball into goalie.
Lincoln Loud: Okay. *to myself* Come on, Lincoln. You can do this. Kick the ball into goalie. *kicks the ball to a goalie* I did it, Lynn.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Nice job, Lincoln. Come on, let's go to Sandy's treedome.
Cuts to the birdbath, where a red robin is splashing and chirping
Sandy Cheeks: And that's my oak tree.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln Loud and Yellow Rectangle: *seems enticed by the water in the birdbath*
They try to sneak away, but stay until Sandy lets her guard down.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Huh?
Sandy Cheeks: It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane, that's a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bee's knees?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln Loud and Yellow Rectangle: *nods*
Sandy Cheeks: Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither. First, I…
SpongeBob finally escapes and wallows in the birdbath, absorbing all the water. He then jumps back to his original spot, and the bird is quite angry. SpongeBob gets back before Sandy notices.
Lynn Loud Jr.: That's our treadmill.
Sandy Cheeks: That's how I stay in tip-top shape. Well, come on. Let’s have that tea now. *does in-air karate moves and moves off-screen*
Lincoln Loud: *gasps*
SpongeBob hears some knocking from outside. It's Patrick, pointing at his pinky.
Patrick Star: Pinky. Pinky.
Red Rectangle: Pinky pinky pinky.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *blinks, weakly holds up my pinky*
Lincoln Loud: *gasps again*
Fade to him sitting at a picnic bench. He now has little wrinkles around his eyes and his mouth is all puckered up. He holds up his bouquet.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I brought you some flowers.
Sandy Cheeks: *walks over* For me? How sweet. *grabs the flowers, but SpongeBob refuses to let go*
She finally pries them loose and part of SpongeBob's pinky falls off. He closes his hand.
Lynn Loud Jr.: You okay?
The black circles around SpongeBob's eyes are gone. His voice is now hoarse.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes, I'm okay.
Sandy Cheeks: You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I can’t imagine why.
Sandy Cheeks: Can I get you anything?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Water would be nice.
Lincoln Loud: Air would be nice.
Sandy Cheeks: I'm gonna to put these in a vase.
Lincoln Loud: Take your time.
Sandy Cheeks: *goes in my tree and closes the door off-screen*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *hears it, he then gasps and stumbles toward the door and struggles to open it* I gotta get out of here! *screams, then thinks*
Sandy Cheeks: *in SpongeBob's head* I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *struggles even more*
Lynn Loud Jr.: I like you, Lincoln. We could play soccer.
Lincoln Loud: *struggles even more*
Patrick Star: *in SpongeBob's head* When in doubt, pinky out.
Lincoln Loud: Pinky out.
Red Rectangle: No pinkies.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *lifts his pinky up and gets confidence and victorious music plays* I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it, I don't need it… *sits down, loses confidence again and the music stops*
Sandy Cheeks: Why, these flowers are just beautiful! *sniffs* They'll last much, much longer in a vase full of ice cold water. *puts the vase down*
SpongeBob is totally enticed by the water.
Sandy Cheeks: *sits down across from them* So tell me about yourself. *puts my hands under head feeling fascinated about SpongeBob sharing himself* It must be fascinating bein' a sea critter. 
SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln Loud and Yellow Rectangle: *watches a drop of water drop down the side of the glass*
Sandy Cheeks: Guys?
A timer goes off.
Sandy Cheeks: Oh, there's the cookies. *walks back into the tree* Be right back.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Okay.
Sandy Cheeks and Lynn Loud Jr.: *leaves*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *thinks* I don't need it, I don't need it, I definitely don't need it.
Close-up of SpongeBob's face. He's really shriveled now. 
SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't need it. 
Close-up of the vase, then another one of SpongeBob's face.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't need it.
Close-up of the vase.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't need it.
Close-up of SpongeBob's face. 
SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't need it.
Long pause, SpongeBob finally yelling. 
SpongeBob SquarePants: I NEED IT! *shoots up into the air, bounces off the ceiling and holds the vase*
Patrick Star: No, SpongeBob! No, no, no, stop! Pinky! Pinky!
Lincoln Loud: SpongeBob, no!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *holds up his pinky and starts guzzling down the whole vase of water* I'm a quitter! *screams and runs around*
Lincoln Loud: Please, Sponge.
Patrick Star: *enters into the dome and slams the door shut* You can't leave now. You'll blow it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *muffles while hanging on the door* Air is not good, guys. Air is not good.
Patrick Star: *grabs SpongeBob off the door* You're just being shy. *carries SpongeBob to the picnic table* Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine. *starts getting weak* I won't let you blow... this. *drops SpongeBob and crawls on the floor, pants*
He coughs and sputters, then stands up.
Patrick Star: What kind of place is this?! *runs toward the door and tries to open it*
Lincoln Loud: Patrick, there's no water in here!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *joins in on the door-opening struggle* I tried to tell you!
Patrick Star: We've gotta get out of here!
SpongeBob SquarePants: You're... doing it... wrong…
Patrick Star: Wait, no! We've got... to get... out. The two pass out.
Lincoln Loud: We're underwater, I can't breathe.
Yellow Rectangle: Me too.
Red Rectangle: We're drowning.
White Rectangle: We're gonna die.
*Fades to the sun*
Sandy Cheeks: *walks out of the tree with tea and cookies* Come and get it! Y'all gonna like this…
She screams and drops her tray. On the grass is a live-action sponge, starfish, yellow rectangular prism, red rectangular prism, white rectangular prism and Lincoln plush.
Luna Loud: *shocked* Dudes!
Lynn Loud Jr.: Oh no, Sandy and Luna, they are dead. *screams loudly*
Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick leaning against a ladder with two goldfish helmets on. Sandy, on top of the ladder, uses a hose to fill those helmets with water.
Sandy Cheeks: There, that oughta do it! If y'all needed water, you shoulda asked. *carries over a tray with three tea glasses*
Everyone: *takes one*
Sandy Cheeks: I propose a toast, to new friends. *drinks it while SpongeBob and Patrick lift their drinks up and they clink the glasses on the helmets, causing them to spill* Hold on a second. *places a tea bag in each helmet, allowing the two to drink the tea water* I hope you like your tea strong. Drink up.
Patrick nudges others and they put their pinkies up. They sip the tea.
All: Ahhh…
Lynn Loud Jr.: *plays soccer* Guys, play with me.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Sandy Cheeks, Lincoln Loud and White Rectangle: Okay.
Yellow Rectangle: Well, we're playing soccer.
Luna Loud: Yeah, dudes.
Red Rectangle: Sure we are.
All: *plays with Lynn*
The episode ends shortly after and It says "THE END".
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