Psycho Sebastian's Gags and Gifts

In this commercial, Keyz (as Psycho Sebastian) promotes his extreme joke shop.
==Script==
Hey, kiddies. It's you old friend Psycho Sebastian. Now I've heard that at lot of you haven't made it down to Psycho Sebastian's Gags and Gifts yet. What are you? Fuckin simple? You don't know what your missing till you come to my store. We've got gags for every occasion.
Like these here X-ray glasses. Now these ain't like the regular kind that makes your eyes black. No sir-ee these are Psycho Sebastian's Xray glasses. Inside each lens is 20 super small 500 watt LEDs. As soon as they put em on, the lights turn on. They'll burn your victims retinas up faster than you can say 'laser eye surgery'!
Or how about a pack of genuine Psycho Sebastian's joke gum. Offer your victim a stick. As soon as they pull it out, the spring-loaded razor trap chops their fingertips right the fuck off. Maybe next time they'll buy their own damn gum. Ah-Hyu!
And don't forget classics like Psycho Sebastian's Mixed Nuts can. The moment they open the can, the detonator is triggered and 6 ounces of real C4 goes KA-boom! Let's see a bunch of paper spring snacks do that kind of damage. 
One more thing we got right over here, for you folks who happen to have a smoker you know of, you need to try Psycho Sebastian's cigarette loads. Each cigarette load is a tiny heat sensitive capsule containing on half ounce of concentrated sarin. I tell ya, kids, when they light that sucker up, emphysema will be the last of their worries. Heh-heh.
It looks like you're out of excuses. So, get yer fat ass down to Psycho Sebastian's Gags and Gifts. At Psycho Sebastian's Gags and Gifts, you laugh yourself...to death.
New Psycho Sebastian's Gags and Gifts locations opening this weekend in Reading, PA, Waynesburg, PA and Denver, CO. For more details visit our website at vengeance-is-mine.com.
Category:Faux_Commercials