Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers/Transcript

==Transcript==
Woman: Set dresser to the stage.
Man #1: Check lights.
Man #2: Hey, where’s that turtle with my narrator?
Troubadour: Singing, singing, singing, singing all day long When I’m singing, there is nothing that is wrong Musketeers, hey! La-la-la-la-la-la-la 
Woman: Talent to the set, please.
Man: We’re live in 60 seconds.
Troubadour: 60 seconds!
Woman: Where’s the narrator?
Troubadour: Monsieur Narrator. Monsieur Narrator! M-m-monsieur! Monsieur, it is time! Monsieur. Pardonnez-moi. But today is the day, right, monsieur? Because you promised I can sing my songs… about the musketeers, right? Ahem... All for one… Hey!
But, monsieur,
you promised.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, no.
Monsieur. Monsieur.
Monsieur, wait!
Wait!
The stage is…
Whoa!
Troubadour: This way.
Crew: Let’s have some quiet, people.
Five seconds to air.
Cue music. And… action!
What’s that turtle doing?
Where’s the narrator?
We’re live.
Just go with it.
Hey, you. Don’t just
sit there like a turtle.
Do something!
You’re on camera!
For crying out loud,
say something!
Troubadour: Allo.
Crew: Tell the story.
Troubadour: Today, I will tell you the story of… Da, da dahhh! "The Three Musketeers"!
This is my favourite version…
the one with pictures.
And, of course, my songs.
Our story begins…
in the gutter…
where poor young street urchins
Mickey, Donald, and Goofy…
struggled to survive.
Zut alors! Bad guys.
Will anyone defend
these innocent children?
Anyone! Anyone! Anyone!
Well, anyone?
The royal musketeers!
Yes!
And after
the dust settles…
a kindly musketeer
gives Mickey a gift.
Don’t worry, Mickey.
You ‘ll grow into it.
From that day on,
Mickey, Donald, and Goofy…
dreamed of being
great musketeers.
But as the years passed…
their dream was still
as far away as ever.
You see, before
their dream can come true…
our three heroes must learn
the real meaning…
of the musketeer creed…
all for one and one for all!
And I just happen to have a song about this!
Troubadour & Musketeers (singing): 
All for one, hey!
All for one
and one for all
Musketeers sing
All for one
and one for all
If you dare to
Cross our path,
prepare to fall
‘Cause we’ll fight you
All for one
and one for all
And all for one
and one for all
And all for one and all
So, if you think
you ‘d care to
Kick some derriere, you
Know that as a musketeer,
you ‘d be so fearsome
If you believe you ‘re manly
Come and join
our family
Soon we’ll make sure
you ‘re a musketeer
Mickey: Aw, look at them, fellas. That’s gonna be us out there someday. I just know it.
Goofy: I can’t wait.
Donald: Yeah. Me, too.
Musketeers (singing): All for one, all men of honour,
hear my call
Musketeers sing
all for one and one for all
All for one, hey,
all for one and one for all
All for one and all for one
and one for all
And all for one
and one for all
And all for one and all
Troubador: All for one and one for all!
Mickey: Yes, sir. Janitors today, musketeers tomorrow.
Pluto: (barks)
Mickey: Hey, my lucky musketeer hat. Oh, thanks, boy. Remember when the musketeers gave me this hat, Pluto? They even autographed it. See?
I can’t wait to be a great big hero.
Careful, Goofy.
Goofy: Sorry, Mickey. I can’t wait to be
a musketeer, neither… ‘cause I got plenty of good ideas. The musketeers can use a clever fella like me. Yipe!
Mickey: Hey, Donald, how about you?
Donald: Are you kidding? Musketeers need guys like me that are brave!
Mickey: Yeah, and they need guys that are brave, too.
Donald: That’s what I said… brave.
Pete: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sirree. I’ve been looking forward to this all month.
Goofy: Maybe I can sand it out.
Mickey: Almost…
Pete: A… I’m adorable, B… I’m so beautiful What?
Mickey: Almost… got it.
I got it!
Goofy, look out!
Mickey, Donald, & Goofy (in unison): Captain Pete.
Pete: 
Now listen, you yardsticks.
I am sick and tired
of your screw-ups.
You guys are hopeless.
I leave you for five minutes…
and I come back
to a disaster!
Mickey: 
Well, we were
practicing our teamwork…
so we can be
good musketeers.
Pete: 
Musketeers?
That’s priceless.
Mickey: 
But we could work really hard…
and prove ourselves,
Captain Pete…
and then would you
let us be musketeers?
Pete: 
Well, there’s three things
wrong with that.
One…
You ‘re a coward.
Two…
Voice: 
We’re sorry.
The number you‘ve reached
has been disconnected.
Pete: 
You‘re a doofus.
And, as for you…
well, you ‘re just too small.
Why, I wouldn’t have
you yahoos as musketeers…
even if you were
the last recruits…
in all
of my beloved France!
So, you won’t
need this, will you?
Yeah.
Here, kid. Have a ball.
Have a ball!
That’s a good one!
I’m going to send
that one in to the Digest.
Minnie: He loves me. He loves me… a lot. He loves me. He loves me even more. He loves me.
Daisy: Pardon me, Your Highness… you ‘re kind of mangling that flower. Who’s the… lucky guy?
Minnie: My one true love. I’ll find him someday. He’s out there. I just know it.
Daisy: This fantasy man…
do you happen to know
if he’s royalty?
Minnie: 
Does it matter?
Daisy: 
Well, as you know…
someone of your royal stature
must be courted…
by a gentleman
of royal blood.
Minnie: 
What a royal pain.
Daisy: 
Your highness,
you ‘re gonna have…
to pick someone
sooner or later.
I mean, tick-tock, huh?
Minnie: 
Daisy, I can’t pick someone
I’m not in love with.
Daisy: 
You want love? Buy a dog.
Besides, the perfect guy…
isn’t gonna just walk
through the door…
and even if he does…
how are you gonna know
he’s the one?
Minnie: 
I’ll know.
Just imagine.
He’ll stride into the room.
A light will glow from him.
I’ll hear music.
He’ll bring me flowers.
He’ll sweep me off my feet.
And I’ll know he’s the one
when he makes me laugh.
Daisy: 
Your majesty,
forgive me for saying so…
but that sounds…
just lovely.
Minnie: 
Trust me, Daisy.
I’ll know him when I see him.
Why… bonjour.
Troubadour: 
A romantic princess
deserves a romantic song, no?
Troubadour (singing): Just around the corner,
seeking you
Puppy love is tripping
lightly into view
Hiding in the hedgerows
Sneaking up on tiptoes
Love’s first kiss
is blissfully
About to capture you
Just around the corner,
wafting close
Love is creeping nearer
than you might suppose
So sit still
and wait now
Let love
choose your fate now
Take a pause,
don’t run because
It’s right behind you
Let love find you
Young love
It’s love, love,
love, love, love
Love so lovely
What can you say to love
But love?
Maybe on the rooftops,
climbing high
Somewhere just above you,
love is hovering by
Love is in a rush to
Smear you, smash you,
smush you
Love will crush you
into mush
When you ‘re the bull’s-eye,
you ‘ll get hit by
Young love
Your first,
your only love
Love so…
Daisy: Excuse me. Your Grace?
Troubadour: How can you stand it so…
Daisy: Your Highness!
Beagle Boys: Who’s gonna tell the bloomin’ boss the bad news?
Don’t look at me.
I ain’t saying nothing.
You tell him.
Me? I told him last time,
you silly twit.
And I don’t believe
in doing it twice.
Oy, here’s an idea.
Shorty, you tell him.
Tell him what?
That we… you know,
botched the job.
He’s not going to like that.
Hello there.
Pete: 
It don’t look good…
when only one shows up.
Does it, small fry?
Beagle Boys: 
Blimey. I can’t hear nothing
but step, clop, step, clop.
Have a gander
at monstro’s better side.
He has something
to tell you, boss.
Pete: 
It better be good news.
Beagle Boys:
Well, we did exactly
what you said to do…
and dropped a safe
on the princess.
Pete: 
You what? I didn’t say,
"Drop a safe," you dolt.
I said, "Keep her safe."
Beagle Boys: 
Well, that’s good…
because we missed her.
Pete: 
Now listen, you mutts.
I got a plan.
And it ain’t
to kill the princess.
It’s to kidnap her.
Beagle Boys: Huh? 
Pete:
The opera?
it’s tomorrow night.
(operatic singing)
Pete: 
The princess has
got to be gone by then…
or I can’t become king.
Beagle Boys: 
Oh! 
I… don’t get it.
Pete: Lieutenant Clarabelle!
Clarabelle: Oui, oui, mon capitaine. You bellowed?
Pete: Throw these clowns into the pit!
Clarabelle: Oui, oui! Le pit!
Beagle Boys: No!
Not that!
Anything but le pit!
Clarabelle: Bon voyage… losers.
Beagle Boys: (screaming) 
Not so bad.
Clarabelle: Bonjour. Pete’s secret lair.
Clarabelle speaking.
The princess?!
Musketeers (chanting): All for one
All men of honour,
hear the call
Musketeers sing
all for one and one for all
Pete: 
Your Highness.
So glad you could grace us
with your royal omnipresences.
Minnie:
I want bodyguards!
Pete: Oh...
Minnie:
Musketeer bodyguards.
Musketeers:
Villains, bad guys
run in fear
When they see
the musketeers
Savin’ Minnie is our duty
Mess with her,
we’ll kick your…
Pete: 
Ouch.
Bodyguards.
Absolutely.
Let me check my schedule here.
How about next Thursday?
Minnie: 
How about ten minutes?
At the palace!
Get me bodyguards,
Captain Pete!
Goofy:
Pancakes, cornflakes,
scrambled eggs
Buttered toast
and apple jam
Tonight it’s meat,
I hope it’s spam...
Mickey & Donald: 
Goofy! Slow down!
Pete:
Princess, you‘re in luck.
Have I got the men for you.
Minnie:
Well, I hope so.
Thanks to your
incompetence…
this whole thing has been
a pain in the neck!
Pete:
I’ll show you
a pain in the neck.
Oh, boy.
Mickey:
Hey, Donald.
Don’t worry about
what Captain Pete said.
Cheer up. I’m sure
there’s some way…
we can become musketeers.
Goofy:
We can?
Mickey:
Hey, Goof, you know we can prove
Pete’s wrong about us…
if we just work hard
and stick together.
Goofy:
You really think so?
Mickey:
Hey, have I ever
let you down?
Have I? Have I? Have I?
No.
Just imagine, guys.
Mickey:
Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow…
but someday Captain Pete’s
gonna march in here and say…
Pete:
Congratulations, boys!
You passed the test.
I’ve been watching
you three…
and I’ll tell you what.
You guys have got what it takes
to be musketeers!
Mickey:
Really? You mean it?
Pete:
Cross my heart.
Mickey:
Oh, boy! Hey, fellas!
We’re gonna be musketeers!
Musketeers!
Musketeers!
I knew we had what it takes.
Goofy:
‘Cause we’re clever.
Donald:
And brave.
Mickey:
And together we are gonna be
great big heroes.
What do you say, men?
All for one…
Goofy:
And two for tea!
Pete: Yeesh.
Mickey:
Well, we’ll work on it.
Pete:
Hup, deux, trois, quatre.
Hup, deux, trois, quatre.
Hup, deux, trois, quatre.
Hup, deux, trois, quatre.
Company… halt!
Stay here whilst I go schmooze
Princess what’s-her-name.
Mickey:
Wow. This is it, guys.
This is what we’ve been
waiting for all our lives.
Now, when
these doors open…
we’ve got to make
a great first impression.
OK.
Remember, fellas,
we’re on duty…
and this place could be
crawling with bad guys.
Donald:
Bad guys?!
Mickey:
So stay alert!
Donald:
You heard him. Stay alert!
Goofy:
Aye, aye, sir.
Bad guy! No!
Mickey:
Goofy!
Goofy:
Gosh. He pulled an ax on me.
Pete:
Your Royal Highness,
I have never, ever had…
a more highly skilled group
of gentlemen…
than the individuals which
I present to you today.
Daisy:
Seems like this is
gonna take a while.
I’ll go get you
a little snack.
Pete:
It took my highly trained eye
to see their true potential.
Minnie:
Yes. Well, France thanks you
and your eye very much.
Pete:
Well, then it is
without further ado…
that I present,
for your complete safety…
and protection…
your musketeers!
Minnie (lovestruck):
Just imagine.
He’ll stride into the room.
Light will glow from him.
I’ll hear music.
He’ll bring me flowers.
And he’ll sweep me
off my feet.
And I’ll know he’s the one
when he makes me laugh.
Daisy: Your Majesty, it’s time to cut the cheese.
Minnie (snapped out of her fantasy): What?
Daisy: Here we are. Roquefort, anyone?
Goofy: Knife!
Donald: Bad guy!
Mickey: Grab her!
Daisy: Oh, no.
Help!
Minnie:
Unhand her!
Release her! Stop it!
Drop her!
She is my lady-in-waiting!
Pete:
You ‘ll have to forgive them,
Your Highness.
They’re like
a well-oiled machine…
that’s wound
just a little too tight.
Mickey:
We’re sorry, Your Grace.
We thought she was a villain.
Daisy:
I don’t think so.
Minnie:
Oh. I see. Well, then…
I feel safer already.
Troubador: Oh, no. When the bad guy is that happy, it always, always means… Bad guy song!
Pete (singing): I was born
to cheat and lie
I’m a mean, rotten guy
When you ask me
why I’m nasty
Here’s my reason why
At that stork delivery,
Mommy screamed
"Woe is me, such a dork"
"Hey, Mr Stork,
behold my misery"
"Pete is ghastly,
Pete’s a blob"
"Pete’s a nasty,
naughty slob"
Can it, sister, I’m the mister
who will get the job
So I’m nasty, I’m no good,
I’ll be king, knock on wood
I’ll impress ya, though I’m
just a common lowly hood, ha!
If you can’t be loved,
be feared
Don’t get shoved,
sheep get sheared
Be the king,
pull the strings
Or else
you might get smeared
I’m so happy I could dance,
seize my chance, I’ll advance
Come and cheer me,
love and fear me
Petey’s king of France,
ha ha
Evening, trusted lieutenant.
Watch out for the bricks.
Clarabelle:
What?
Pete (singing):
Come and cheer me,
love and fear me
Petey’s king of France
Why’d the music stop?
Hello, boys.
Think you might have
some spare time…
to go and snatch
the princess?
Beagle Boys:
Yeah, I think.
Pete:
Well, quit thinking
and do it!
The opera’s tomorrow night!
(operatic singing)
Pete:
....The job’s got
to be done by then!
Remember?
Beagle Boys:
How can we help?
Pete:
I want you to grab her,
find a remote tower somewhere…
and lock her away forever…
so as no one can
ever find her again!
You got me, dingbats?
Beagle Boys:
Sure thing, boss.
Mickey:
Isn’t this
musketeering stuff great?
Donald:
You bet!
Minnie:
Isn’t it romantic,
Daisy…
being protected
by three dashing musketeers?
And the little one
is so handsome.
Daisy: Yeah… he’s kind of cute and all… but you ‘re forgetting something. They’re musketeers, commoners, non-college-bound. You know what that means.
Minnie: Our love is… forbidden?
Daisy: Bingo.
Minnie: A forbidden love. How romantic.
Mickey: Bad guys!
Donald: Bad guys!
Goofy: Bad guys?
Mickey: Yikes! OK, you. En garde.
Beagle Boys: En garde? French words make me mad!
Daisy: Get out there and fight, you coward!
Goofy: You fellas seen any bad guys around here?
Beagle Boys: Ooh. How about this bad guy?
Mickey: Goofy!
Beagle Boys: Hit the road, tiny.
Donald: Mickey!
Beagle Boys: Boo!
Mickey: Princess!
Now how are we going
to protect the princess?
Donald:
Protect the princess?
Are you kidding?
It’s hopeless. We failed.
Goofy:
Hopeless?
Failed?
Donald:
There, there, pal.
Here. Blow.
Mickey:
Well, I don’t think
we’re hopeless.
Listen, Captain Pete
has faith in us.
Goofy:
He does?
I mean, he does!
Mickey:
Pete made us musketeers,
remember?
Donald:
Yeah! We’re musketeers!
Mickey:
That’s right, just like
we dreamed when we were kids.
So, what do you say?
Are we a team?
Goofy:
Count me in, Mickey!
Donald:
Me, too! Me, too!
Mickey:
We’re off
to save the princess!
No obstacle too big!
Goofy:
Yeah!
Mickey:
No danger too great!
Donald:
You said it!
Mickey:
Together, we’ll save
the princess or die trying!
Donald:
...die?
Die?
Mickey:
Hey, Goof,
this door won’t budge!
Goofy:
Let me give it a go!
Mickey:
Hey, Goof, wait.
I got it…
Beagle Boys: What the heck was that?
Goofy: Door’s open.
Beagle Boys:
Oy, what we do
about them musketeers?
We’s 87 floors up.
It’ll be hours before
they’s on us.
Mickey (out of breath):
Hold it right… there.
You… fiends!
Beagle Boys:
Sling them birds in their cage.
Minnie & Daisy: (screaming)
Mickey:
Your Highness!
Beagle Boys:
Let’s have a bit of fun
with these blighters, eh?
Mickey:
Let’s get ‘em!
Beagle Boys: Oi!
Donald:
Stop!
Let the girls go!
Beagle Boys:
You feel lucky, ducky?
Beagle Boys:
Hang about.
Is that Halley’s comet?
Goofy:
Halley’s comet! Where?
Mickey:
Let me go! Let me go!
I’ll slice you to ribbons!
Goofy:
What the…
Mickey:
My sword!
Beagle Boys: (laughs)
Mickey: Goofy, we got to do something quick… or the princess is done for.
Beagle Boys: It’s all over. Looks like you blokes got in over your heads… (echoes)
Mickey: What are you planning, Goof?
Goofy: I got an idea. You with me?
Mickey: You bet.
Goofy: Hot soup, coming through!
Beagle Boys: That was a bit of a barney, wasn’t it?
Mickey, Goofy, Minnie & Daisy: Oh! Ow! 
Goofy: Did we do it?
Mickey: Yeah! We did it! The three of us did it!
Mickey & Goofy: All for one and…
Mickey: Wait. Where’s Donald?
Donald: We did it? Well, alright! Hurray! We did it!
Mickey, Donald & Goofy: Yippee! Wa-hoo!
Daisy: (clears throat)
Mickey: Let me just… kind of tight. Whoa! Oops.
Minnie: (laughs)
Troubadour: Mickey made her laugh…
so she knew
he was the one.
But will their love bloom
on the way back to Paris?
Perhaps…
if I sing them a song.
Troubadour (singing):
Afloat on the breeze
On wings of love
Like birds
and like bees
Sweet wings of love
The first day we met
On wings of love
We watched the sun set
Sweet wings of love
And if by some chance
Some twist of fate
We’re chasing romance
It’s not too late
It’s heaven’s design,
you ‘ll be mine
Hands entwined
on wings of love
Of love
A real-life fairy tale
Fairy tale
Down the streams
of life we sail
Life we sail
And our world
in twilight gleams
Twilight gleams
Like the light
in your eyes
Inside my dreams
Your whisper lightly
tickling my ear
It’s Paris,
ah, in the spring
Spring, spring,
spring, spring
I feel so giddy,
one thing is clear
You stir my heart to sing
Don’t take
your hand from mine
Hand from mine
Just hold tight
until you find
You ‘re the light
I’m dreaming of
Dreaming of
And I’m waiting for you
on wings of love
Minnie:
Bonne nuit.
Troubadour (singing):
Waiting for you
on wings…
Lovely little wings
Of love
On wings of love
Ah, young love.
Pete: I got a problem! Those three chowderheads have proven tougher than I thought. 
Beagle Boys: Yeah? So?
Pete:
So quit hanging around.
We’ve got a change
of plans, see.
Now we’re gonna have to
pull the switcheroo…
tomorrow night…
at the opera.
(operatic singing again)
Pete: That little ditty is starting to grow on me.
Now listen.
To get to the princess…
we’re gonna have to pick
those guys off one by one.
Minnie:
Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
Look, Daisy.
Mickey and I have
the same last name. (sighs)
Daisy:
Well, it must be destiny.
Good thing destiny
doesn’t control my love life.
Minnie:
What do you mean?
Daisy:
Well, look at me.
If it did…
I’d get stuck
with Mister… (imitates Donald)
Minnie & Daisy: (laughs)
Goofy: Two, three…
four.
Two, three…
four. Bad guys.
Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): Attention, Musketeer Goofy.
Goofy: Mickey, is that you?
Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): Yes, Musketeer Goofy. I am in need of your assistance.
Goofy: You sure are talking funny.
Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): I was eating escargot and uh... peanut butter.
Goofy: Hey, save some for me!
Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): Over here. Follow me, Goofy.
Clarabelle (evil laugh): Moo-ahaha!
Goofy: Mickey!
Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): You're almost there.
Goofy: Mickey! Doggone! Where’d he go? Mickey! Mickey! Uh oh...
Donald: Quack, two, three, four.
Quack, two, three…
Quack!
Hello, handsome.
What the…
Beagle Boys: Booga booga!
Booga booga!
Booga booga booga
booga booga!
Donald:
Beat it, you guys.
Beagle Boys:
I told you twits
these Pete masks wouldn’t work.
Let’s go to plan "B."
Donald:
Hey, you ‘re the bad guys!
Don’t move!
Uh oh. 
What’s going on?
Uh oh.
Pete: (laughs)
Donald:
Captain Pete!
Pete:
I’m in such a good mood.
Come back here, you little bird beak!
Pluto: (barks)
Mickey: Pluto. Pluto, slow down, boy. What is it? Whoa! Hey, where’s Goofy? Donald! 
Something strange is going on here. 
Donald: Psst. Psst.
Mickey: Who’s there? You better come out of there, or I’m coming in after you! Donald? What’s the big idea? Come down from there! Why aren’t you at your post?
Donald: We got to get Goofy and get out of here!
Mickey: Goofy? Where is he? He's not at his post either.
Donald: Oh, no! He’s already got Goofy!
Mickey:
Wait! Who’s got Goofy?
Donald… stop!
Donald, are you nuts?
What’s going on?
Donald: Pete is gonna kidnap Princess Minnie so he can become king because he’s really a bad guy and he has a secret lair, and it’s really dark and scary! So the point is he’s gonna kill us if we get in his way! So we should run now as far away as we can!
Mickey: Donald, I can’t understand a word you say.
Donald: No!
Mickey: Put me down! Whoa!
We can’t leave
our posts like this!
What would
Captain Pete say?
Donald: Captain Pete is the bad guy!
Mickey: Captain Pete is the bad guy?
Donald: What?
Mickey: Pete’s trying to kidnap the princess?
Donald: Exactly!
Mickey: But, he made us musketeers.
Donald: It was all a lie.
Mickey: A lie? (becomes stern) Well, lie or no lie, musketeers don’t run from danger. And as long as we wear these uniforms, neither do we!
Donald: You said it. It’s every duck for himself!
Mickey: Donald, wait! Together, we can stop Captain Pete. Remember how we rescued the princess?
Donald: I was hiding.
Mickey:
Hiding? Well…
tonight, you came back
to warn us…
and that took courage, Donald.
Come on. I’ll be
right beside you…
because we’re friends.
Donald:
I just can’t. I’m sorry.
Mickey:
Donald!
Donald.
Thanks, boy.
What is it?
What is it, boy?
Pete: (laughs)
Well, well, well.
If it ain’t the one musketeer.
Mickey:
Captain Pete, by the power vested in me as a musketeer…
I arrest you, mister!
Pete:
That’s a good one!
Well, how about this?
By the power invested in my fist, I clobber you!
Hey there! Hi there!
Ho there!
You ‘re as welcome
as can be! (laughs) 
Oopsie.
I am such a butterfingers.
Mickey:
Hey! Put me down!
Don’t make me
have to whoop you!
Pete:
OK, OK, fine.
Just hold still, you runt!
Well, Mickey... it looks like this
is the end of the line. (laughs)
Mickey:
Think so? My pals
will be right behind us.
Pete:
Oh, sure. Uh-huh.
The duck dumped you.
Remember?
Mickey:
Well… Goofy then!
Pete:
The goof? He’s getting
fitted for a halo.
Mickey (hopeless):
No, no, no.
Pete:
Yes, yes, yes!
Face it, Mickey…
it’s all for one…
and you are on your own!
Enjoy your brief stay here
at the Mont St. Michel.
You know, they say the tide
comes in faster than horses!
So long, runt!
I got me tickets
to the opera…
a little something
called…
"I Just Can’t Wait
to be King." (laughs)
Clarabelle:
This is it, handsome.
Get ready for the big sleep,
the river of no return…
the long day’s journey
into night. (laughs)
Goofy:
Gosh. Your sweet voice
is music to my ears.
Clarabelle: Huh?
Goofy (singing):
Your chains of love
now hold me tight
Your bovine beauty
makes my heart take flight
Clarabelle (singing):
You will not change
my mind one smidge
I’m going to drop you
screaming off this bridge
Goofy:
Clarabelle, you drive me nuts!
Chorus (singing):
His love’s so sweet,
his love’s so blind
Clarabelle (singing):
Poor Goof…
Chorus (singing):
You have to kill him, or he'll change your mind.
Clarabelle (singing):
Poor grunge
Chorus (singing): Say farewell, to that goof poor grunge
Clarabelle (singing):
Farewell
Chorus (singing): Cause it's your duty that he
Clarabelle & Chorus (singing): Takes the plunge
Goofy (singing):
My milkmaid miss,
you charm my soul
You leave me
utterly beyond control
Call me a goof,
but one thing’s clear
Your melodious moo
is music to my ears!
Chorus (singing): He's no Don Juan 
Clarabelle (singing): He’s not real smart
And yet he’s touched
my little cowhide heart
Clarabelle & Chorus (singing):
He loves my moo,
Clarabelle (singing):
my cow-like gaze
His numskull charm
Has set my heart... ablaze
Clarabelle:
Hurry, my love.
You don’t have much time.
Your friend Mickey
is in dire peril.
Goofy:
No, he’s not.
He’s in the musketeers.
Clarabelle:
I mean he’s in danger.
Donald:
I’ll be a musketeer
when cows fall from the sky.
What? Uh oh!
Goofy: We’re coming, Mickey!
Donald: Put me down! Put me down! Goofy! Pete’s gonna kill us!
Goofy: Pete or no Pete, Mickey’s our pal, and we got to save him. All for one and one for all, remember? I know it’s the most hideous house of torture in all of France… but we’re going in there!
Gosh, Pluto.
Could this be the end
of the three musketeers?
Troubadour and chorus (singing): This is the end! This is the end! 
Troubadour (singing):That Donald Duck has left
poor Mickey Mouse to drown
And Goofy trusted him,
but Donald let him down
We all berate him
because we hate him
He is a traitor,
vacillator
He’s a lousy second-rater
Mangy mallard,
Chorus (singing): He’s a coward!
Troubadour (singing): Donald’s destiny has soured!
Troubadour and chorus (singing): It’s the end!
Donald: I’ll show you, dirty tortoise!
Troubadour: That way, tiger.
Donald:
Wait for me!
Thanks for the song.
Goofy: Donald!
Donald: Come on! We’ve got to save Mickey!
Goofy: We’re coming, Mickey!
Mickey.
Donald:
Mickey?
Goofy:
Mickey, come back to us, pal.
I think he’s
coming out of it.
Mickey: Donald? Goofy? Pete told me you were a goner.
Goofy: Shucks. I ain’t…
…Going nowhere
without you, Mick.
Donald:
Hey!
Mickey:
Aw, pal.
You came back.
Donald:
Aw… of course I did.
Goofy:
We wouldn’t
let you down, Mick.
We’re your friends.
Donald:
Yeah.
Come on.
We’ve got to save
the princess.
Don’t you remember?
All for one…
Goofy:
Yeah.
Mickey:
Aw, fellas, we’re not even
real musketeers.
Goofy:
Not real musketeers?
Who says so?
Listen, Donald might be
a big chicken…
Donald:
Hey!
Goofy:
And you ‘re just
a little guy…
and I ain’t no genius,
but I know one thing.
When the three of us
stick together…
Donald:
We can do anything.
Mickey:
And not Pete…
Goofy:
Or nobody else can stop us!
Mickey:
Musketeers,
we’ve got a princess to rescue.
Come on, Goof!
Come on, Donald!
Donald: 
I’m right behind you!
Beagle Boys:
Princess Minnie.
Your Grace.
Minnie:
Captain Pete?
Pete:
Bonjourney, princess.
Minnie:
Where are my bodyguards?
Pete: (laughs)
I’ll be your bodyguard tonight,
sweet cheeks.
Minnie:
This is an outrage!
Pete: 
No. It’s my nefarious plan
to steal the throne.
Beagle Boys:
Does this crown
make my ears look big?
Minnie: (screams)
Pete:
You know what to do.
Beagle Boys:
Righty-o, boss.
Goofy:
Look! There it is!
Pete:
OK, shortstop, do your stuff.
Beagle Boys (imitating Minnie):
Attention,
my loyal subjects.
Due to the stress
of princessing…
my duties have become
too overwhelming…
for a delicate flower
such as myself.
Therefore, I now present
your new ruler, King Pete!
Pete:
I did it, Mommy!
I’m king of all France!
I feel like eating a snail.
Now, on with the show.
Troubadour:
Allo. C’est moi.
Opera singers:
Come, friends
who plough the sea
Truce to navigation,
take another station…
Mickey: That-a boy, Pluto. Find the princess!
Opera singers: With cat-like tread,
upon our prey we steal
In silence dread,
our cautious way we feel
No sound at all,
we never speak a word
Mickey: Did you find the princess, boy? Good work, Pluto.
Minnie: Our brave musketeers have come to rescue us.
Mickey: Don’t worry, Your Highness. We’ll save you. Alright, you two, drop the princess!
Beagle Boys: With pleasure.
Opera singers: Poor wandering ones
…Can help you find
true peace of mind…
What?
What the sam hill?
The princess!
Do something!
Sir. Yes, sir.
Scaling rough
and rugged passes
Climb the hearty
little lasses
Till the bright sea-shore
they gain
Pete: Huh? What?! What the Sam Hill? The princess! Do something!
Beagle Boys: Sir, yes, sir!
Opera singers: 
Scaling rough
and rugged passes
Climb the hearty
little lasses
Till the bright sea-shore
they gain
Mickey: How dare you try and kidnap the princess! Nobody walks away with the princess… while Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are on the job!
Goofy: Hey! Someone’s walking away with the princess.
Mickey: Let's get ‘em!
Beagle Boys: (screams)
Opera singer (rapid-fire): I am the very model
of a modern major-general
I’ve information
vegetable, animal… historical
From Marathon to Waterloo
in order categorical
I’m very well acquainted, too,
with matters mathematical
I understand equations,
both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem,
I am teeming with a lot of news
With many cheerful facts about
the square of the hypotenuse.
Pete: She’s getting away!
Opera singers: I am the very model
Of a modern major-general
Mickey: Princess!
Ouch.
Pete:
Two down, and one to go.
Mickey:
I almost got it.
Minnie:
Oh, no! Look out!
Mickey:
What?
Pete:
This is it, squeaky… mano y mouse-o.
A-ha! Oh ho! Ha ha!
Mickey: Ha ha!
Pete: Ho ho!
Mickey: Uh oh.
Audience: (gasps)
Pete: It’s all over, Mickey… and you ‘re all alone.
And now with you finally out of the way… getting rid of the princess will be easy as pie.
Mickey: Want to bet?
Pete: That’s a sucker bet.
Donald: Yeah, and you‘re the sucker!
Mickey: Ready, musketeers?
Mickey, Donald & Goofy: All for one and one for all!
Pete: Uh oh.
Donald: How’s this for a coward?
Pete: Ow!
Goofy: How’s this for a doofus?
Mickey: And I may be small, Pete… but I’ve got friends that make me ten feet tall.
Pete: Aw, nuts.
Mickey: Timber!
Pete: I hate happy endings.
Audience: (applause)
Minnie: Daisy... are you kissing a commoner?
Daisy: C’est la vie.
Minnie: C’est I’amore!
Audience: (applause)
Minnie: Please kneel.
(Mickey, Donald and Goofy do so, taking off their hats.)
Minnie: n gratitude for saving France… I hereby dub thee, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy… all royal musketeers!
Mickey: What do you say, everybody? All for one…
Mickey, Donald, Goofy & the Musketeers: And one for all!
Troubadour:
Bravo, my friends!
Our three heroes
have finally…
made their dream come true.
I think this calls for…
one more song!
The Musketeers (singing): All for one, hey,
all for one and one for all
Musketeers sing
all for one and one for all
And all for one
and one for all
And all for one and all!
The End
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