Blackkite

==Personality:==
Kite is ESFP. She tends to procrastinate, and is a perfectionist as well as a people pleaser. She doesn’t cope well with guilt. Kite isn’t afraid of many things, she’s cowardly. Kite is impressionable.
==Backstory:==
(TW: emotional abuse and trauma)
Kite’s biologist parents were the type to live through their children. They were obsessed with Kite being perfect and they both forced her to spend lots of her free time outside of school studying biology extensively (which just caused her to resent biology and studying science in general). They were strict and if Kite were to ever act out, then her parents would ‘punish’ her by shunning her, where either they would completely ignore her, or if they said anything, it would be insults or berating. Depending on what she did, it could last for a couple of days all the way up till two weeks.
Because of this, Kite would act out at school whenever she got the chance. She would go against as many rules her parents had set for her where they couldn’t see her breaking them, as long as she wasn’t caught by them. Not only this, but Kite…never felt like she belonged with others. She always had a hard time empathizing with others and understanding how others felt. When most dragons would’ve felt peer pressure, Kite-depending on her mood-would mainly just feel amusement. She would often do wild and crazy things at school to get reactions out of her peers-whether positive or negative-because she felt like it and didn’t care at all about what others thought of her.
Kite was ESFP. She tended to procrastinate on assignments and whatnot as much as she enjoyed being in the center of attention. She would often end up overworked and stressed whenever her procrastinated assignments would pile up, as she was scared to fail as she knew then her parents would ‘punish’ her (and she feared that they would do it for much, much longer than two weeks if they saw that she had anything less than an A, especially for biology or any science type class). On top of this, in Kite’s household, she was ‘punished’ or berated for showing fear or sadness or that she was overwhelmed, and so to avoid her parents reacting that way she would do her best to hide her emotions from them. She had been taught that it was not okay to cry, and that was ‘only things hatchlings do’. Whenever Kite felt stressed or overwhelmed, she kept it a secret-even from her peers-and she would often cry herself to sleep for a long time until she came up with a ‘solution’: to repress her emotions by thinking of other things instead of any of her worries or anything that might be making her sad. Instead, she would procrastinate her emotions and bottle them all up with the use of distractions as well as lying to herself that she was happy.
One of the things she would do to act out, as an example, was that her parents would always call her by her name, ‘Blackkite’. At school however, her acquaintances would often call her Kite to the point that the nickname stuck. Her parents disliked the nickname though, and made their opinions of it well known around Kite, forcing her to go by ‘Blackkite’. However, they couldn’t do anything about Kite going by her nickname at school and refusing to go by her full name there when talking with her friends.
Once during one of Kite’s many biology study sessions, she read up about black kites-the bird of prey that she had been named after-and of how they spread fires to flush out prey for hunting. This later inspired Kite to start setting small things on fire where no one could spot her doing it. She knew that if she committed arson-even if it was super tiny-at school that her parents would be told about it, so she kept it a secret even from her closest of friends (which, really, she didn’t have any true friends: they were all just acquaintances-she just called them friends when she treated them like acquaintances). So, Kite would begin setting tiny objects on fire in her room late at night after her parents had gone to bed, thinking that Kite had gone to bed (she had a strict curfew/bedtime that her parents doubted she would dare break anymore). She would burn things from pieces of paper to toys that would go generally unnoticed for when she threw the remains away. Kite decided that she wanted her future job to be firefighting instead of studying biology like what her parents wanted of her. She found fire interesting, fun and exciting. Sure, she got burned occasionally, but it was just part of the learning experience, right?
Kite thought of herself like a scientist as she studied the fire and how it reacted differently with other objects. The burning of items in her room lasted for around a year, and over that time she had gained several burn scars from when she hadn’t been careful enough and had gotten scorched. Even though Kite hated studying biology, she still looked up to her parents and found experimenting instead of reading about it to be more fun (she’s a kinesthetic learner). She would ‘play scientist’ by experimenting with the fire and learned through trial and error different aspects about fire rather than simply reading about it.
One night-around midnight-Kite began burning a stuffed animal bird that her parents had gotten for her her past hatching day. She had never quite liked the toy, and so she enjoyed watching it burn. However, she had miscalculated how long it should’ve taken to burn, and so her talons got burnt a bit. Kite let go of the stuffed animal as a reaction to the pain, only for it to fall to the wooden floor of her room. Being a careless five year old, she had not ever considered what might happen if anything were to go wrong when she played with fire. In short, Kite started a house fire and she managed to escape. By the time she turned around and remembered that her parents were still inside, she was on the front lawn (the house was up in the country secluded by trees so there weren’t any neighbors to help). Kite was terrified. She had never expected fire to do something like that. Logically she knew fire could spread and whatnot, but she hadn’t actually comprehended that with such a small mistake, that it could have such dire consequences.
Kite knew that if she ran inside the home, she could risk her life to possibly wake up her parents. The fire was already spreading to their bedroom, and there were no signs of her parents trying to get out of the house…
Kite didn’t go in. She was simply too scared, and was overwhelmed by everything that had happened. In a panic, she fled the scene, knowingly leaving her parents to die as she didn’t know what else to do.
Kite was overwhelmed with guilt over what had happened, as well as grief. But before she could even properly experience those emotions, she did what she had trained herself to do: repress her emotions. However, it was hard for her to do so with her grief and guilt. She wasn’t used to experiencing these emotions. She had never grieved over anything before, and she rarely felt guilty even if she did something wrong (as long as it didn’t actually hurt anyone). Kite remembered the stuffed animal bird, and that was when she formed an idea.
Kite imagined stuffing her grief and guilt into the stuffed animal bird. She imagined separating those emotions and giving them their own little avatar (her memory of what the bird looked like). That way, whenever she felt the emotions start to come back, instead of allowing herself to experience them, she would imagine setting the bird/her grief and guilt on fire, and focus on what the fire looked and sounded like. By doing so, it distracted her from her emotions and gave her the chance to keep repressing the usually overwhelming emotions. (Whenever she managed to switch imagining the fire from her focus to her subconscious she always made sure to distract herself with something else-something to latch onto to think of instead or else the process wouldn’t work and the cycle would just never end for the time being.)
Instead of becoming scared of fire as a result of what had happened, Kite figured that it had been a fluke and that she should just be careful in the future. Kite decided to skip town (which she called ‘resetting’), and so she left her town in the SkyWing kingdom for a different one far off, without giving herself the chance to say goodbye to anyone. She lost her home, family, school, friends and everyone else within a single night. Because of that, Kite was a homeless dragonet and she lived out in the middle of the woods so that no one would catch her setting small controlled fires to hunt for prey, just like black kites. Over time, she became more and more experienced with fire and learned how to be careful with it. The older she got, the larger the fires she was confident with setting.
Kite wasn’t happy, although she spent years lying to herself that she was till the point that she actually believed she was. Really, she felt miserable and empty inside as she never really made any ‘friends’ after the incident, and so she was lonely. Kite was disconnected from society, doing her own thing while everyone else worked in communities, which didn’t help Kite feeling like she didn’t fit in with the rest of the world. This didn’t stop Kite from trying to make friends in town though, and so she, instead of going out and about town and interacting with random dragons, began trying to choose specific dragons to spend more time with than the general public. It worked for a while-she actually made two friends, which she still didn’t relate to or anything, but at least she felt like she belonged somewhere-until she skipped town again.
Kite, as she grew up, had skipped town a total of five times. This is due to how Kite would begin to have an existential crisis that would end up in large amounts of arson, which she would leave because of. The average existential crisis would resort in her wondering why she did anything, why she should do anything, as well as feeling like everything in life was fake and that she was just playing along. She would set large fires and watch it burn just because she could. Kite made decisions randomly as she didn’t have any goals in life or anything that she usually wanted to do, which just led to her feeling even more miserable followed with a cycle of existential crisis’. During these times, was when Kite would feel self conscious or be affected by peer pressure. Other than that, she didn’t care about what others thought of her.
Kite easily got distracted and found it hard to focus. Her entire mood could also change depending on a single thought, and so how she acted was unpredictable as she often changed her mind about things. Kite was a loose canon, and the older she got the worse the arson got as she began setting fires either just because she could, because she identified as an arsonist and ‘it’s what she does’, or to distract herself from her buried emotions. Sometimes it would get to the point where she thought that things would get better if she ran away-as if she could run away from her thoughts-and so that’s why she would skip town the other times. Due to this, she became used to leaving everyone she had ever known.
To try to protect herself from feeling any more loss, Kite stopped attempting to make friends or form any meaningful relationships. By doing that, she only felt worse and more like she didn’t belong. Over the years, Kite began to get sick of fire. She knew lots about it, and grew to expect it to do what it did. It no longer interested her, and she became desensitized to arson. She didn’t even know if she wanted to set fires anymore, along with doing anything. She continued knowing less and less of what she wanted to do in life. It got to the point that she saw her life as some sort of game. She thought she didn’t care about really anything other than staying ‘happy’, distracted, and healthy.
Over the years of repressing and avoiding her emotions, Kite had formed a fear of her guilt and grief surrounding the deaths of her parents. It was no longer her just not wanting to deal with her grief and guilt, but it was that she was afraid to confront it. She was paranoid of ‘the bird’, or ‘bird b*tch’, and became desperate to stay distracted. Whenever she would begin to feel grief or guilt of the situation, or relive the moment, she would not only do the trick with imagining burning the stuffed animal bird and what the flames looked and sounded like, but her terror would start to drive her to screaming ‘SHUT UP’ over and over again until she had gotten her emotions ‘under control’ again. She didn’t care if it made others concerned when she did this, because she didn’t care about what they thought. If she felt that it might help keep her emotions held back, then she would do it. Her grief and guilt continued to get scarier, and therefore it came close to overwhelming her and taking hold, which only made Kite more scared and more determined and desperate to do anything to hold off her emotions. It was a cycle that got progressively worse, and while at the moment she felt like her trick made her feel better, it only hindered her as she never gave herself the chance to go through and experience the emotions. They never went away, but were just pushed back as Kite essentially procrastinated her grief and guilt.
Without fully ever experiencing guilt and grief, Kite had never matured in that sense. She didn’t know how to deal with it, and was inexperienced. While Kite matured with everything else, she never gave herself the chance to grow with handling her guilt and grief in a way that was a healthy way to cope with what had happened. With actually facing grief and guilt, Kite felt helpless, lost and overwhelmed, which was not what Kite wanted. Kite wanted to protect herself from feeling bad, and she worried that even if she let herself experience the emotions she feared, that she would be stuck grieving and drowning in guilt for the rest of her life, unable to achieve happiness. Little did she comprehend that she wasn’t happy in the first place.
Category:SkyWings
Category:NightWings
Category:Hybrids
Category:Characters
Category:LGBT+
Category:Females