2019 Power Rankings-Bowl Week

== Introduction ==
It's Bowl week in the LOC and the schedule has absolutely fucked me this year. I cannot properly articulate the pandemonium that comes with trying to get a TV show ready for a holiday hiatus, but lets just say it doesn't afford one the time needed to properly manage a fantasy league or three. And then there is the travel and the weekend before Xmas scramble. As such, sacrifices need to be made in order to keep my streak alive of consecutive weeks posting the power rankings. We are going to quite literally power through this. We're abbreviating everything. One-two sentence recaps. Let's go. 
== The Saints Rule ==
The Saints rule has PASSED by a vote of 6-1 with three abstaining. This will begin with the 2020 regular seaon and implimented in the 2021 draft. The 2020 draft will not be affected, although I don't recall anyone trading picks this season but I COULD be wrong because I'm a fucking mess. 
== Festival Semifinals Recap ==
=== (1) Duck Punchers vs. (5) Paddock 9 ===
Duck with one of the biggest choke jobs by a bye team since GBM every year for the last four years, Duck has the league's worst semifinals performance of the season after resting players during the quarterfinals (which seasoned historians of the LOC will know angers the Fantasy Gods) and Paddock 9 doesn't do much better, but AJ Brown's 35.60 is enough to power them to the Glory Bowl.
=== (2) Pain Train vs. (3) The Shotti Bunch ===
Fantastic showdown here with two high powered offenses going off and it came down to Monday Night Football with PT trying to hold a lead and Drew Brees busting Mannin'g TD record, but then playing SO well that he stopped trying in the second half with a giant lead. Shotti almost had a performance for the ages but he came up just short.
== Seasons with at least one post-season victory ==
== Seasons with At Least One Postseason Victory (Playoffs/Consolation Games Combined) ==
Updated Through 2019 semis
Seasons with at Least One Postseason Victory (Playoffs/Consolation Games Combined)
Team 	Seasons with One Win
Paddock 9 	9
Papa's Pussies 	6
Pain Train WOO WOO	7
Sweet Dee 	7
The Shotti Bunch 	6
The Duck Punchers 	5
RIPDab 	6
ma ma momma said 	5
Garoppoblow Me 	5
JarJar Stinks! 	2
Bell of da Ball 	3
== 2019 Cinco De Lose-O ==
Butt goes berzerk and really should be winning the Glory Bowl but fuck it fantasy isn't fair. Jared, meanwhile, continues to have no business in the Festival of Champions and should be relegated to the consolation tournament for a decade after the showing he put on the last two weeks and may God have mercy on his soul.
== The Cinco De Lose-O (2011-Present) ==
 
Game	Date 	Winning Team 	Final Score 	Losing Team
2011	12/13-12/19/11	Garoppoblow Me (1, 1-0) 	227.93-176.90	Pain Train WOO WOO (1, 0-1)
2012	12/11-12/17/12	Paddock 9 (1, 1-0) 	240.40-147.40	Why am I doing this (1, 0-1)
2013	12/10-12/16/13	Duck Punchers (1, 1-0) 	225.05-208.08	IAMGROOT (1, 0-1)
2014	12/09-12/15/14	Papa's Posse (1, 1-0) 	199.91-139.87	Pain Train (2, 0-2)
2015	12/15-12/21/15	Sweet Dee (1, 1-0) 	196.03-194.35	Papa's Posse (2, 1-1)
2016	12/13-12/19/16	Paddock 9 (2, 2-0) 	226.89-209.91	Duck Punchers (2, 1-1)
2017	12/12-12/18/17	Paddock 9 (3, 3-0) 	251.49-238.83	Duck Punchers (3, 1-2)
2018	12/11-12/17/18	Duck Punchers (4, 2-2) 	165.92-105.06	Papa's Posse (3, 1-2)
2019	12/10-12/16/19	The Stupid Idiots (1, 1-0)	337.80-183.48	ma ma momma said (1, 0-1)
== Cinco De Lose-O Appearances by Team ==
 
Appearances	Team 	Wins	Losses	Winning Percentage	Season(s)
4 	Browns4You 	2 	2 	0.500 	2013, 2016, 2017, 2018
3 	Paddock 9 	3 	0 	1.000 	2012, 2016, 2017
3 	Papa's Posse 	1 	2 	0.333 	2014, 2015, 2018
2 	Pain Train WOO WOO 	0 	2 	0.000 	2011, 2014
1 	The Stupid Idiots 	1 	0 	1.000 	2019
1 	Sweet Dee 	1 	0 	1.000 	2015
1 	Garoppoblow Me 	1 	0 	1.000 	2011
1 	Why am I doing this	0 	1 	0.000 	2012
1 	IAMGROOT 	0 	1 	0.000 	2013
1 	ma ma momma said 	0 	1 	0.000 	2019
0 	The Shotti Bunch 	0 	0 	- 	None
== Updated Festival of Champions Record ==
Updated through 12/20/19.
All-Time Franchise Playoff Records
Team Name 	W 	L	W% 	3rd Place Games	5th Place Games	Combined W	Combined L	Combined W%
The Shotti Bunch 	12	3	0.857	0-2 	0-0 	12 	5 	0.750
ma ma momma said 	6 	4	0.600	1-0 	0-1 	7 	5 	0.583
Sweet Dee 	3 	1	0.750	0-0 	1-0 	4 	1 	0.800
Papa's Posse 	3 	3	0.500	0-0 	1-2 	4 	5 	0.444
RIPDab 	3 	5	0.375	3-1 	0-0 	6 	6 	0.500
Pain Train WOO WOO 	4 	5	0.375	1-0 	0-2 	5 	7 	0.363
GaroppoblowMe 	3 	6	0.333	1-3 	1-0 	5 	9 	0.357
Duck Punchers 	3 	7	0.333	1-0 	2-2 	6 	9 	0.429
JarJar Stinks! 	2 	1	0.666	0-0 	0-0 	2 	1 	0.666
Paddock 9 	3 	4	0.333	0-1 	3-0 	6 	5 	0.500
B-2 Hallway Gangstas	1 	1	0.500	0-1 	0-0 	1 	2 	0.340
IAMGROOT 	1 	2	0.340	1-0 	0-1 	2 	3 	0.400
Why am I doing this 	0 	1	0.000	0-0 	0-1 	0 	2 	0.000
The Stupid Idiots 	0 	1	0.000	0-0 	1-0 	1 	1 	0.500
== The Glory Bowl ==
Once called the stupidest rivalry in sports, the trash talk has certainly lived up to that hype. If one of them has spelled a single word right this week in the thread, I've missed it. But the rivalry is certainly there and has provided some grade A entertainment for the rest of us as we have Pain Train and Paddock 9 going head-to-head for Glory Bowl IX. Paddock is limping to the finish line, unfortunately for him, but Pain Train is getting cocky so it's a real battle to see who the Fantasy Gods will want to strike down here. Either way, we will have a sixth unique champion in nine seasons, including an original 7 team that has been in the league since 2011 with zero titles. The loser will have to wait another year. 
== Glory Bowl Championship (2011-Present) ==
 
Game	Date 	Winning Team 	Final Score 	Losing Team
I 	12/20-12/26/11	NK Anacondas* (1, 1-0) 	240.57-222.50	Morning Woodhead** (1, 0-1)
II 	12/18-12/24/12	ma ma momma said (1, 1-0) 	367.12-178.28	Welker's Fingertips^ (1, 0-1)
III 	12/17-12/23/13	The Shotti Bunch (1, 1-0) 	323.04-232 	Cooper Clux Clan^^ (1, 0-1)
IV 	12/16-12/22/14	Flag on the Play** (2, 1-1)	262.25-128 	ma ma momma said (2, 1-1)
V 	12/22-12/28/15	The Shotti Bunch (2, 2-0) 	223.49-218.05	ma ma momma said (3, 1-2)
VI 	12/20-12/26/16	The Shotti Bunch (3, 3-0) 	252.77-207.42	JarJar Stinks! (1, 0-1)
VII 	12/19-12/25/17	The Shotti Bunch (4, 4-0) 	242.49-173.34	RIPDab (1, 0-1)
VIII	12/18-12/24/18	Sweet Dee (1, 1-0) 	280.08-229.52	Pain Train WOO WOO (2, 0-2)
IX 	TBD 	TBD 	TBD 	TBD
*Currently named Papa's Posse
**Currently named Duck Punchers
^Currently named Garoppoblow Me
^^Currently named Pain Train
=== Consecutive Winners ===
One franchise has won consecutive Glory Bowls
*The Shotti Bunch (Glory Bowls V, VI, and VII)
== Glory Bowl Appearances by Team ==
 
Appearances	Team 	Wins	Losses	Winning Percentage	Season(s)
4 	The Shotti Bunch	4 	0 	1.000 	2013, 2015, 2016, 2017
3 	ma ma momma said	1 	2 	0.333 	2012, 2014, 2015
2 	Duck Punchers 	1 	1 	0.500 	2011, 2014
3 	PainTrainWooWoo 	0 	2 	0.000 	2013, 2018, 2019
1 	Sweet Dee 	1 	0 	1.000 	2018
1 	Papa's Posse 	1 	0 	1.000 	2011
1 	RIPDab 	0 	1 	0.000 	2017
1 	JarJar Stinks! 	0 	1 	0.000 	2016
1 	Garoppoblow Me 	0 	1 	0.000 	2012
1 	Paddock 9 	0 	0 	- 	2019
== Glory Bowl Margins of Victory ==
 
Game 	Margin of Victory	Winning Team
Glory Bowl I 	18.07 	Papa's Posse
Glory Bowl II 	188.84 	ma ma momma said
Glory Bowl III 	91.04 	The Shotti Bunch
Glory Bowl IV 	134.25 	The Duck Punchers
Glory Bowl V 	5.44 	The Shotti Bunch
Glory Bowl VI 	45.35 	The Shotti Bunch
Glory Bowl VII 	69.15 	The Shotti Bunch
Glory Bowl VIII	50.56 	Sweet Dee
== The Salty Dolphin Bowl ==
We got a salty one here folks as two teams who account for over 50% of the trophies in the league face off after close but disappointing finishes in the semifinals. Duck is off to a horrendous start after Watson and Hopkins were somehow shut down by the Bucs defense.
== The Salty Dolphin Bowl (2011-Present) ==
 
Game	Date 	Winning Team 	Final Score 	Losing Team
2011	12/20-12/26/11	Bust a Cap* (1, 1-0) 	272.47-225.47	B-2 Hallway Gangstas (1, 0-1)
2012	12/18-12/24/12	Julian Odinson** (1, 1-0) 	229.71-204.94	The Shotti Bunch (1, 0-1)
2013	12/17-12/23/13	ma ma momma said (1, 1-0) 	220.08-132.19	Hernandez' Bracelets* (2, 1-1)
2014	12/16-12/22/14	IAMGROOT (1, 1-0) 	199.35-112.97	The Shotti Bunch (2, 0-2)
2015	12/22-12/28/15	FreeOJ* (3, 2-1) 	220.98-217.25	Garoppoblow Me (1, 0-1)
2016	12/20-12/26/16	RIPDab (4, 3-1) 	293.46-197.01	Garoppoblow Me (2, 0-2)
2017	12/19-12/25/17	Pain Train WOO WOO (1, 1-0)	186.99-181.59	Garoppoblow Me (3, 0-3)
2018	12/18-12/24/18	Garoppoblow Me (4, 1-3) 	258.16-210.20	Paddock 9 (1, 1-0)
2019	TBD 	TBD 	TBD 	TBD
*Currently named RIPDab
**Currently named Duck Punchers
=== Consecutive Winners ===
One franchise has won consecutive Salty Dolphins.
*RIPDab (2015 Salty Dolphin Bowl and 2016 Salty Dolphin BowlI)
== Salty Dolphin Bowl Appearances by Team ==
 
Appearances	Team 	Wins	Losses	Winning Percentage	Season(s)
4 	RIPDab 	3 	1 	0.750 	2011, 2013, 2015, 2016
4 	Garoppoblow Me 	1 	3 	0.250 	2015, 2016, 2017, 2018
3 	The Shotti Bunch 	0 	2 	0.000 	2012, 2014, 2019
1 	Pain Train WOO WOO 	1 	0 	1.000 	2017
1 	IAMGROOT 	1 	0 	1.000 	2014
1 	ma ma momma said 	1 	0 	1.000 	2013
2 	Duck Punchers 	1 	0 	1.000 	2012, 2019
1 	B2 Hallway Gangstas	0 	1 	0.000 	2011
1 	Paddock 9 	0 	1 	0.000 	2018
0 	Papa's Posse 	0 	0 	- 	None
0 	JarJar Stinks! 	0 	0 	- 	None
0 	Sweet Dee 	0 	0 	- 	None
== The Heart and Soul Bowl ==
Husband and wife face off to determine who will hold the power at the top of the 2020 LOC draft. It's Sweet Dee vs. RIPDab after they each took down a DiGennaro Boy in the consolation semis. 
== The Heart and Soul Bowl (2011-Present) ==
 
Game	Date 	Winning Team 	Final Score 	Losing Team
2011	12/20-12/26/11	GregCincoDos (1, 1-0) 	232.63-222.57	Big Sacks (1,0-1)
2012	12/18-12/24/12	DiscountDoubleCheck* (1, 1-0) 	229.08-198.64	Tickle Me Ocho** (1, 0-1)
2013	12/17-12/23/13	The Enforcers^ (1, 1-0) 	248.76-131.66	Girl on Fire^^ (1, 0-1)
2014	12/16-12/22/14	The Show Offs^^ (2, 2-0) 	198.66-188.58	Winter Soldiers~ (1, 0-1)
2015	12/22-12/28/15	JarJar Stinks! (1, 1-0) 	176.73-132.83	Fire Goodell* (2, 1-1)
2016	12/20-12/26/16	Deez Sons of Bitchez^^ (2, 1-1)	158.24-140.28	Peeled Eggplant* (3, 1-2)
2017	12/19-12/25/17	Papa's Posse (2, 1-1) 	221.83-161.36	ma ma momma said (1, 0-1)
2018	12/18-12/24/18	The Shotti Bunch (1, 1-0) 	213.45-164.41	RIPDab (1, 0-1)
2019	TBD 	TBD 	TBD 	TBD
*Currently named PainTrain WOO WOO
**Currently named Tickle Me Ocho
^ Currently named Paddock 9
^^ Currently named Sweet Dee
~ Currently named Garoppoblow Me
== Heart and Soul Bowl Appearances by Team ==
 
Appearances	Team 	Wins	Losses	Winning Percentage	Season(s)
3 	Pain Train WOO WOO	1 	2 	0.333 	2012, 2015, 2016
2 	Paddock 9 	2 	0 	1.000 	2013, 2014
2 	Papa's Posse 	1 	1 	0.500 	2012, 2017
3 	Sweet Dee 	1 	1 	0.500 	2013, 2016, 2019
1 	The Shotti Bunch 	1 	0 	1.000 	2018
1 	JarJar Stinks! 	1 	0 	1.000 	2015
1 	GregCincoDos 	1 	0 	1.000 	2011
1 	ma ma momma said 	0 	1 	0.000 	2017
1 	Garoppoblow Me 	0 	1 	0.000 	2014
1 	Big Sacks 	0 	1 	0.000 	2011
2 	RIPDab 	0 	1 	0.000 	2018, 2019
0 	The Duck Punchers 	0 	0 	- 	None
== Draft Order Selections by Year ==
 
Draft Year	Reigning Heart and Soul Bowl Champion	First Overall Pick	Second Overall Pick	Third Overall Pick	Fourth Overall Pick
2015 	Paddock 9 	Paddock 9 	Garoppoblow Me 	Sweet Dee 	RIPDab
2016 	JarJar Stinks! 	Pain Train WOO WOO	Paddock 9 	The Duck Punchers 	JarJar Stinks
2017 	Sweet Dee 	Papa's Posse 	ma ma momma said 	Pain Train WOO WOO	Sweet Dee
2018 	Papa's Posse 	Sweet See 	Bell of Da Ball 	ma ma momma said 	Papa's Posse
2019 	The Shotti Bunch 	RIPDab 	The Stupid Idiots 	The Shotti Bunch 	ma ma momma said
== The Million Dollar Game ==
Two extremely bitter DiGennaros face off in a rematch of the 2013 Million Dollar Game (yay?). 
== The Million Dollar Game (2011-Present) ==
 
Game	Date 	Winning Team 	Final Score 	Losing Team
2011	12/20-12/26/11	Paddock 9 (1, 1-0) 	231.47-152.27	ma ma momma said (1, 0-1)
2012	12/18-12/24/12	butt fuckers (1, 1-0) 	211.23-202.58	RIPDab (1, 0-1)
2013	12/17-12/23/13	Papa's Posse (1, 1-0) 	152.96-136.35	Garoppoblow Me (1, 0-1)
2014	12/16-12/22/14	Sweet Dee (1, 1-0) 	177.65-193.40	RIPDab (2, 0-2)
2015	12/22-12/28/15	Paddock 9 (2, 2-0) 	220.05-168.55	The Duck Punchers (1, 0-1)
2016	12/20-12/26/16	Papa's Posse (2, 2-0) 	237.06-205.66	ma ma momma said (2, 0-2)
2017	12/19-12/25/17	Sweet Dee (2, 2-0) 	206.46-151.48	JarJar Stinks! (1, 1-0)
2018	12/18-12/24/18	Bell of da Ball (2, 2-0)	204.51-151.15	ma ma momma said (3, 0-3)
2019	TBD 	TBD 	TBD 	TBD
*All Current Team Names Used
== Million Dollar Game Appearances by Team ==
 
Appearances	Team 	Wins	Losses	Winning Percentage	Season(s)
2 	butt fuckers 	2 	0 	1.000 	2012, 2018
2 	Sweet Dee 	2 	0 	1.000 	2014, 2017
3 	Papa's Posse 	2 	0 	1.000 	2013, 2016, 2019
2 	Paddock 9 	2 	0 	1.000 	2011, 2015
3 	ma ma momma said 	0 	3 	0.000 	2011, 2016, 2018
2 	RIPDab 	0 	2 	0.000 	2012, 2014
1 	JarJar Stinks! 	0 	1 	0.000 	2017
1 	The Duck Punchers 	0 	1 	0.000 	2015
2 	Garoppoblow Me 	0 	1 	0.000 	2013, 2019
0 	Pain Train WOO WOO	0 	0 	- 	None
0 	The Shotti Bunch 	0 	0 	- 	None
== Conclusion ==
Next week I am off work and will be making the largest writeup the world has ever seen. Until then, this will have to do. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah Jared.