Mr. Krabs Has Alzheimer's

Mr. Krabs Has Alzheimer's is the twenty-sixth episode of The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show and the fourth episode of the third season. It was written by thatjess and released on July 7, 2022.
== Transcript ==
[“Previously on The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show…”]
Mr. Krabs: Who are you again? Has anyone seen my granddaughter Timothy?
[“And now on The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show…”]
[Exterior shot of the Bikini Bottom Hospital. SpongeBob, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and Pearl are in an office with Dr. Gill Gilliam.]
SpongeBob: How bad is it, Doc?
Gill Gilliam: Hmm… I’m afraid I can’t give an official diagnosis but from what I can tell Eugene here has unfortunately developed a rather sudden severe unrecognised case of Alzheimer’s.
Mr. Krabs: I’ve developed what?
Squidward: You have Alzheimer’s, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: I have what now? Has anyone seen my granddaughter Timothy?
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, you don’t have a granddaughter named Timothy!
Mr. Krabs: Who’s Mr. Krabs?
[Pearl bursts into a heap of tears.]
Pearl: I WANT MY DADDY BACK!!!!
Gill Gilliam: I- I… I’m so sorry, I think we’ve lost him.
Mr. Krabs: Who have we lost? 
Pearl: Daddy, hang in there. Everything is going to be just fine.
Mr. Krabs: Pearl…
Pearl: (gasps) He remembers me! 
Mr. Krabs: Have you seen my granddaughter Timothy?
Pearl: …
SpongeBob: I’m sorry Doctor, this is all happening so fast! What are we supposed to do?!
Gill Gilliam: Well, once we get an official diagnosis, which would probably involve having an MRI done… this is hard for me to say but personally I’d suggest putting the poor guy into care.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs…? In a care home…?
Gill Gilliam: I’m really sorry to say but… (sighs) he can’t look after himself in this state, let alone his daughter and that’s before we even mention his business!
[Pearl starts crying again and tightly hugs Mr. Krabs.]
Hello darkness my old friend…
[The camera starts slowly fading out of the hospital.]
I’ve to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sounds… of silence
[Cut to Daddy Pig and Mummy Sheep walking home from a date in the rain.]
In restless dreams I walked alone
Daddy Pig: Gee, Mummy Sheep, that funny Minions movie sure was funny!
Narrow streets of cobblestone
Mummy Sheep: I know! Gru certainly did rise.
’Neath the halo of a streetlamp
[Daddy Pig’s phone starts ringing.]
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
Daddy Pig: Sorry, it’s SpongeBob, I need to take this.
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
[Daddy Pig answers his phone.]
That split the night
Daddy Pig: Ollo?
And touched the sound… of silence
SpongeBob: Daddy Pig… come quick. It’s not looking good.
Daddy Pig: Why? What happened? Mummy Sheep and I just got out from watching the hit movie Minions: The Rise of Gru!
SpongeBob: Daddy Pig, this is no time for messing around.
Daddy Pig: I’m not messing around! You should have come with us! Those minions are hilarious! ‘Specially that Bob, he’s so cute.
Mummy Sheep: I’m more of a Kevin guy myself.
SpongeBob: Guys, this is serious! It… it… (sighs) it’s Mr. Krabs.
[The screen fades into a shot of the Shady Shoals care home. Two employees aid Mr. Krabs as he walks in.]
Employee 1: Now don’ ya worry, Eugene, we’re gonna take good care of chu. Everythin’ is gonna be cushty.
Employee 2: Yeah. Better Days are ahead, Better Days.
[Mr. Krabs slaps one of the employees.]
Mr. Krabs: Get ya filthy hands off of me! I can walk by myself! Also, who are you people?
[The camera turns over to a crowd of people including SpongeBob, Pearl, Squidward and Daddy Pig watching Mr. Krabs walking into the care home. Pearl is still crying, and she holds her father’s girlfriend Mrs. Puff tightly.]
Mrs. Puff: It’s okay, dear. I love Eugene but, this is the right thing to do.
Squidward: He was getting quite old anyway I guess.
[The camera fades into a shot of The Krusty Krab. SpongeBob and Squidward are inside mopping up. Pause.]
Squidward: So… what are we gonna do with this place?
SpongeBob: Huh? What do you mean?
Squidward: SpongeBob, I don’t know if you realise but our boss has been put into a care home for crying out loud!
SpongeBob: I’m sorry Squidward but my brain just won’t process this right now. Everything’s moving so fast!
[Pause.]
Squidward: (sighs) I know, SpongeBob, I know… but this place is ours now.
[Pause.]
Squidward: I say we sell it.
SpongeBob: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK SQUIDWARD?! We can’t just sell The Krusty Krab!
Squidward: Aw come on! We get less and less customers with each passing day and quite frankly I don’t care enough to run this joint and you’re too reta- …special to know how!
SpongeBob: I could run this place!
Squidward: Oh puh-lease, last time Mr. Krabs left you in charge there were two fatal casualties.
SpongeBob: Three if you count the poor guy’s pet snail.
[The camera pans over to Daddy Pig and Mummy Sheep sitting at a table closeby.]
Mummy Sheep: We can’t close this place! We’re supposed to be getting married here in a few months!
Daddy Pig: Yeah!
SpongeBob: See? Daddy Pig’s on my side. And he’s a bit of an expert at this kind of stuff.
Daddy Pig: I am. I’m an expert at a lot of things! Alzheimer’s, structural engineering, masturbating on the moon-
Squidward: Masturbating where?
Peppa Pig Narrator: Daddy Pig wanked on the moon once.
Daddy Pig: (slams his fist on the table) AND A JOLLY GOOD WANK IT WAS TOO!
Squidward: (sighs) Well, I guess if you want it SpongeBob… this place is yours.
SpongeBob: FUCK YEAH!
Squidward: You know, I always hated the guy but now that he’s senile… I miss Mr. Krabs.
SpongeBob: We all do, Squidward. This is hard for all of us, especially Pearl.
Mummy Sheep: At least this can’t get any worse, right?
[Patrick walks in wearing his mailman outfit.]
Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew!
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick.
Patrick: I got, uh, some mail here for ya buddy.
SpongeBob: Thanks Patrick.
[Patrick passes SpongeBob a letter and he starts opening it.]
Patrick: Where’s Mr. Krabs?
Squidward: He’s in a care home.
Patrick: Lol what a fucking loser.
SpongeBob: (reading letter) “Dear owner of this property, this is once again another reminder that you have not paid your due debt and it is consequently rising with each passing day. If it is not paid soon, serious action will be taken. Lots of love, your landlord.” Huh, that’s weird.
Squidward: I didn’t know Mr. Krabs rented this place.
SpongeBob: It’s cheaper than just buying the building outright I guess.
Squidward: So how much debt is he in?
SpongeBob: Huh, let’s see. We just need to pay… (his eyes widen) ONE MORBILLION DOLLARS??!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear. Mr. Krabs is in a lot of debt.
SpongeBob: Well, I’m sure this won’t be that hard to fix. I mean, I’m dropping by Shady Shoals tomorrow anyway, we can ask Mr. Krabs for the money then.
Squidward: Um… SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes Squidward?
Squidward: Aren’t you forgetting something?
SpongeBob: Like what?
[Pause.]
Squidward: …Mr. Krabs doesn’t own The Krusty Krab anymore… we do.
[Pause.]
Squidward: This debt is… our problem. 
SpongeBob: (gulps) Oh.
Category:2022
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:Thatjess
Category:The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show
Category:PI
Category:PI Network
Category:Coral Blue Productions
Category:Episodes written by Thatjess
Category:Daddy Pig Cinematic Universe
Category:2020s
Category:Blue Lobster Productions