Night of the Living Ape/Transcript

(After intro)
Turdsley: Buck, this is scary, can we go home now?
Buck: Quiet, you fool! Do you want us to get caught? We have to finish Butt's dare or we'll be cursed!
Turdsley: But I tired!
Buck: Shut up and dig!
[Buck digs, then gasps]
Turdsley: Buck, what is it? What's wrong?
Zombie: [zombie sounds]
Buck: ZOMBIE! Run, Turdsley, run!
[zombie bites Buck]
[Turdsley gasps, then runs away]
[Zombie and Zombie-Buck make zombie sounds]
[Turdsley gets to house and bangs on door]
Turdsley: Help, let me in, they're after me!
[Zombies approach]
Turdsley: EEEEEEEEE!
[Zombie-Buck bites Turdsley]
(scene change)
[children talk]
Miss Luna: If everyone's here, we'll just start...where's Turdsley and Buck?
Butt: I haven't the foggiest.
Miss Luna: Well, I'll just have to mark them absent.
[Zombie-Buck and Zombie-Turdsley enter]
Miss Luna: Oh, there you guys are!
Both zombies: RAH!
[Zombie-Buck bites Miss Luna]
Miss Luna: Ah! Ah! AAHHHHH!
[children scream]
[Zombie-Turdsley goes into crowd of children and starts biting them]
[Zombie-Miss Luna goes into the crowd of children and starts biting them]
[Zombie-Marley bites Maggie]
Nutella: This is physically impossible!
[Zombie-Stinky bites Nutella]
Acorn: Zombies! ZOMBIES!
[Zombie-Ken bites Acorn]
[Butt bites Pinecone]
Pinecone: Ow! Hey, you're not a zombie yet!
Butt: I just like to bite people.
[Zombie-Nutella bites Butt]
Bella and Ella: Sorry we're late you guys.
[Zombie-Marley bites Bella, and Zomibe-Maggie bites Ella]
(commercial break)
Matilda: Maggie and Marley should be home from school any minute.