20001222 OneLastFormality

<H1> One Last Formality </H1>
<H2> Session Summary </H2>
<H3> Introduction </H3>
<B>GM:</B> (To Matt) You are Dirk Doubledare. You are in pursuit of the hand of the Princess Elliana. As one last formality, in order to gain the hand of the princess, Dirk must pass the Royal Trial.
Dirk's family has fixed things in their favor. They have scoured the land and called in many favors to equip Dirk with four artifacts. They are all in his Heward's Handy Haversack.
The items are:
<UL>
<LI> <B>Circlet (Oculus):</B> Can see anything anywhere. It has the reputation of being really curious.
<LI> <B>Bone Necklace:</B> Contains the spirit of a powerful, but meddlesome wizard. Even in the backpack, Dirk can hear clacking noises.
<LI> <B>Black steel longsword (Soul Hammer):</B> Exists solely to kill, kill, kill. (Did I mention kill?) It's very good at it and it has ways of making its wielder unbelievably good at killing.
<LI> <B>Crystalline Shield (Heimdall's Guardian):</B> Carved from a single crystal, rumored to be carried by Heimdall when he guarded the Rainbow Bridge. Disgrunted about being wielded by mortals. After all, it was once carried by a god.
</UL>
In addition, Dirk has two trustworthy friends:
<UL>
<LI> <B>Cacklejack:</B> Dirk's Fire Mephit familiar.
<LI> <B>Wand of Celestial Summoning, Class III:</B> Every time Dirk has used this item, the same guy keeps showing, a 2nd level human paladin, Roland. In the course of Dirk's career, Roland has been summoned 20 times, and Dirk has watched him die 19 times. He can be summoned 15 more times.
</UL>
So, it is up to Matt to decide who plays the four sentient items, who plays his familiar, and who plays Roland. After some deliberation, he chooses the following:
<TABLE>
<TR>
 <TH align="LEFT"> Player </TH>
 <TH align="LEFT"> Character </TH>
</TR>
<TR>
 <TD> Rick DiRicco </TD>
 <TD> Oculus </TD>
</TR>
<TR>
 <TD> Ray Chiang </TD>
 <TD> Soul Necklace </TD>
</TR>
<TR>
 <TD> John Speck </TD>
 <TD> Roland </TD>
</TR>
<TR>
 <TD> Tim Cotter </TD>
 <TD> Fire Mephit </TD>
</TR>
<TR>
 <TD> Jim Yonemura </TD>
 <TD> Heimdall's Guardian </TD>
</TR>
<TR>
 <TD> Mark Whisler </TD>
 <TD> Soul Hammer </TD>
</TR>
</TABLE>
<B>Game Note:</B> Each of the artifacts require a DC20 Will save to control. Any of the artifacts can add up to 5 points total to either side in the save.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Dirk:</B> So, which of these spells should I pick?
<B>Cacklejack:</B> Take that one. (Rattling can be heard coming from the backpack)
</BLOCKQUOTE>
The King's brother is Damien, the land's most powerful wizard. And since he is the King's brother, if the princess remains unmarried, he stands to inherit the throne when the king dies. (Insert ominous music).
Damien teleports Dirk to the dungeon. The Royal Trial is for Dirk to start in the bottom of a dungeon and work his way up.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Damien:</B> Here you are. Good luck. (Teleports away)
<B>Cacklejack:</B> I don't trust that guy boss. He's going to burn. I'd like to look at his library, though.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Fortunately, his family has acquired maps of the dungeons underneath the castle.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Dirk:</B> (Looks at map)
<B>Cacklejack:</B> I wanna wear the circlet.
<B>Dirk:</B> Don't worry, you'll be wearing everything soon.
<B>Cacklejack:</B> Great. I don't wanna wear the bones though. They scare me.
<B>Dirk:</B> They scare everyone.
<B>Cacklejack:</B> (Looks at map) That doesn't look so tough.
<B>Dirk:</B> (Reaches in a pulls out circlet. Puts it on.) Oculus? I need you to keep an eye out for anything that I can see. (Gestures at Mephit) And keep an eye out for him too.
<B>Oculus:</B> (Begins detecting all around) Don't go through that door in front of you. (Projects image of Roland) Send him.
<B>Dirk:</B> I was thinking the same thing. (Draws wand)
<B>Roland:</B> By the silver blade of Donblas, the Lawgiver<BR />I hear your call and stand ready to deliver you from evil<BR />My sword sings with the divine grace<BR />And my armor stands ready to shield from the foul embrace of the damned<BR />As the Saint Marija<BR />As the Saint Kormak<BR />As the Primarch Vadyan<BR />All shall tremble before the wrath of Sir Roland, Defender of Law and Justice
<B>Dirk:</B> Hey, open the door in front of you.
<B>Roland:</B> And I supposed it's trapped. Well, I suppose I won't be needing this. (Puts away sword. Opens door. Springs Fire Trap--12 points.) The fire burns!
<B>Oculus:</B> It's still trapped. (Projects image of Mephit) Send this guy.
<B>Roland:</B> What next?
<B>Oculus:</B> By the way, there's a secret door back there.
<B>Dirk:</B> Well, we're too far along to go back now.
<B>Roland:</B> A deep chasm impedes our progress.
<B>Dirk:</B> Yeah, but there's a bridge over there.
<B>Cacklejack:</B> (Begins walking the rope while flapping wings) Just walk across boss. It's easy, see?
<B>Dirk:</B> (To Roland) Why don't you go across?
<B>Roland:</B> (Sighs. Puts away sword again. Runs across. Bridge falls apart. He falls.) Good luck.
<B>Dirk:</B> (Pulls out necklace)
<B>Necklace:</B> (Coughing sounds) It's about time you pulled me out of that bag boy! My name is Grandpa Orvin, not Grandpa, not Orvin, but Grandpa Orvin.
<B>Dirk:</B> Got any ideas about going across that chasm?
<B>Grandpa Orvin:</B> Can you fly magically boy?
<B>Dirk:</B> I guess I could do that.
<B>Grandpa Orvin:</B> Well, get to it sonny! We haven't got all day!
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Dirk levitates his way across the chasm, using the rope bridge to pull himself along. He sees a pit of fire with a door on the other side.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Dirk:</B> (Pulls out the shield)
<B>Guardian:</B> Yes, I...Oh, a mortal. I suppose you want me to protect you.
<B>Dirk:</B> Can you protect me from fire?
<B>Guardian:</B> Yeah, I can do that.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
As Dirk levitates across the sand room, he sees large (12') sand colored snakes crawling in the sand. Dirk goes up the stairs to the next level.
<H3> Level Two </H3>
There is a large empty room with a single metal staircase in the center. Dirk summons Roland.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Roland:</B> By the silver blade of Donblas, the Lawgiver<BR />I hear your call and stand ready to deliver you from evil<BR />My sword sings with the divine grace<BR />And my armor stands ready to shield from the foul embrace of the damned<BR />As the Saint Marija<BR />As the Saint Kormak<BR />As the Primarch Vadyan<BR />All shall tremble before the wrath of Sir Roland, Defender of Law and Justice
<B>Dirk:</B> Why don't you run up that staircase over there?
<B>Roland:</B> (Puts away sword) Right then. (Squares with stairs. Runs across. Two large dark figures descend on him.)
</BLOCKQUOTE>
These look like large three headed creatures (two chimera). One attacks Roland, the other breathes on him. He manages to land a solid punch as they kill him.
Dirk swings twice and connects. As he does so, the Guardian casts a Fire Shield on Dirk. As the Chimera continues to attack, it damages Dirk, but gets singed by the Fire Shield. In the meantime, the other Chimera chases the illusion of Roland.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Dirk:</B> (Heals one point). Whichever one of you all did that, do it 29 more times.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Dirk levitates up the stairs. As he makes his way up, he sees two ledges where two creatures could sit. As he makes his way up, Dirk continues to regenerate damage.
<H3> Level Three </H3>
As he gets to the top of the stairs, he comes to a door. He makes his way to the door, but two phase spiders attack. Dirk summons Roland.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Roland:</B> By the silver blade of Donblas, the Lawgiver<BR />I hear your call and stand ready to deliver you from evil<BR />My sword sings with the divine grace<BR />And my armor stands ready to shield from the foul embrace of the damned<BR />As the Saint Marija<BR />As the Saint Kormak<BR />As the Primarch Vadyan<BR />All shall tremble before the wrath of Sir Roland, Defender of Law and Justice<BR />What is it this time?
<B>Dirk:</B> Phase spiders
<B>Roland:</B> (Looks interested) Hmmm...
</BLOCKQUOTE>
The phase spiders attack again. That round a purple Prismatic Sphere appears. One of the spiders tries to go through the wall and disappears. Oculus looks behind the door and sees only darkness.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Orvin:</B> Can't you do that behind the other doors?
<B>Oculus:</B> Yeah, but I need accurate location information.
<B>Orvin:</B> You mean, like a map? (To Dirk) Hey, sonny, don't you have maps of this place?
<B>Dirk:</B> Yeah.
<B>Oculus:</B> Why didn't you list that among our assets?
</BLOCKQUOTE>
In the meantime, Roland and the phase spider face off. Oculus continues to scry and eventually finds the door without darkness behind it. Naturally, it is on the other side of the dungeon. Dirk casts Invisibility on himself and begins running towards the exit.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Roland:</B> I assume I'm next? (Gets bitten by spider) The burning! The pain!
</BLOCKQUOTE>
As Dirk runs away, Roland attacks the spider and kills it. However, the spider bites Roland and the poison finishes him.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Mephit:</B> I don't think he did so good.
<B>Dirk:</B> Well, the wand is warm again, so I think you're right.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Dirk makes his way to the door without darkness behind it. As he runs through the halls, several phase spiders phase in to attack, but fail to see the invisible Dirk.
When he gets to the room, he sees a winch connecting to the floor which will allow him to pull himself up.
<H2> Level Four </H2>
At the top, there is a Sphinx and two Dire Lions.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Sphinx:</B> Welcome, I've served the royal family for many years in this capacity. If you answer my three riddles, you may pass. Are you ready?
<B>Dirk:</B> Sure.
<B>Sphinx:</B> I never am as I appear<BR />Plainly heard I trick not the ear<BR />I cannot be seen though I lead men astray<BR />I cannot be touched yet we wrestle away
<B>Orvin:</B> Conscience? Greed?
<B>Oculus:</B> Try a riddle. (<B>Augury:</B> Such an answer leads to more mental anguish)
<B>Dirk:</B> My answer to your riddle is a riddle.
<B>Sphinx:</B> Well done.
<B>Sphinx:</B> Strong as an oak, lax as a cape. So many holes, you'll never escape.
<B>Dirk:</B> (To Oculus) How about a net?
<B>Oculus:</B> (Doesn't do Augury) Sounds good to me.
<B>Dirk:</B> (To Sphinx) A net
<B>Sphinx:</B> It would be an odd net that is as strong as an oak. The answer is a chain. I will give you this one.
<B>Sphinx:</B> The banks hold no coin.<BR />The beds give no rest.<BR />Name me this realm, and you pass the test.
<B>Dirk:</B> My answer to this one is a river.
<B>Sphinx:</B> Well done. In order to pass, since you did not get the second riddle, you must pass a small trial of strength.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
One of the Dire Lions attacks Dirk. The Dire Lion hits Dirk several times but falls over dead thanks to the Fire Shield.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Sphinx:</B> You may pass.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
As Dirk heads up the stairs, Cacklejack hears someone talking to the Sphinx. He sees a figure disappear next to the Sphinx. At that point, the Sphinx casts a spell on Dirk and the Dire Lion attacks.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Soul Hammer:</B> (To Dirk) Surrender your will to me and you'll live.
<B>Dirk:</B> Uh, okay.
<B>Soul Hammer:</B> (Under his breath) Well, probably. (Casts Tenser's Transformation on Dirk)
</BLOCKQUOTE>
The next round, the enhanced Dirk kills the Dire Lion. Dirk charges to the Sphinx and attacks, damages it. The Guardian puts up an Indigo Prismatic Sphere. The Sphinx roars and Dirk runs away. The Sphinx continues to roar.
Dirk continues to run around, but thanks to the protection of the Prismatic Sphere, he manages to stay unharmed for several rounds.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Sphinx:</B> (Appears to shake off the spell)
<B>Cacklejack:</B> You okay now?
<B>Sphinx:</B> He has gone too far. It was the Grand Vizier. I wouldn't take his orders, so he used his magic.
<B>Cacklejack:</B> Let's eat him.
<B>Sphinx:</B> I would get him, but I am weakened.
<B>Sphinx:</B> Regardless of how this comes out, the King shall know that his brother has meddled.
<B>Cacklejack:</B> Is there anything next?
<B>Sphinx:</B> The next level contains shapeshifters disguised as doors and some of the bull men. I don't think there's any reason for you to go through any more--your actions have been honorable. I happen to know a secret way into the observation room where he sees everything going on.
<B>Oculus:</B> (Detects scrying) We're being scryed upon.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Scrying contest (with Orvin's advice +4). About 100 feet up, Dirk sees the Vizier over a crystal ball.
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<B>Sphinx:</B> I can show you the secret exit, or I can show your way to the Vizier's chamber. It is your choice--I will vouch for you to the King.
<B>Dirk:</B> I will see the King.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
The Sphinx shows Dirk to a magical portal that shows him to the surface. After some consultation with the king, Dirk is awarded the hand of the Princess in marriage.
And what happened to Damien? That's another story...