Skelfingin

Skelfingin is the sixty-ninth episode of Cult of Squid. It released on January 3rd, 2024 and was written by Locknloaded23 and Purple133. This was the first episode to release and 2024, and to date the longest episode in the series.
==Plot==
The beast is free! With motives unknown, Azryth tricks Jerry into helping him unleash the beast Skelfingin, a destructive primordial force of nature that wreaks havoc across the North as everyone is forced to come together to fight it. 
==Transcript==
(Episode begins with Markers and Squidward in a fight, Markers deflects Squidward’s sword with the sheer durability of the war machine armor)
Squidward: Markers, what the HELL is the meaning of this?!
Markers: It’s time for WAR, you stupid Cult, and we won’t back down until we win!
(Markers begins firing a gun on his War Machine at Squidward as he dashes out of the way)
Markers: Stay still, damnit! Don’t make this harder than it needs to be!
(Squidward continues dodging until he runs out of energy and drops to his knees panting, and turns to see Markers ominously loom over him)
Markers: Wow, you’re all out of energy. Pathetic. I almost don’t want to kill you right now.
(Markers presses a button on his machine as a huge machine gun bursts out of the front of it and begins revving up)
Markers: Looks like we won! That was easier than I thought it’d be!
(Suddenly, Markers falls over and out of his machine from a mini earthquake)
Markers: WHAT THE-?!
(The earthquake spreads, then disappears just as quickly)
Markers: BLAST IT! There must’ve been an avalanche nearby.
(Squidward sees the opportunity to escape, but he’s so exhausted he just falls onto the snow as he tries to move, panting profusely as Markers watches and laughs)
Markers: Oh, Squidward, you never know when to accept certain death, do you?
(Markers attempts to climb back into his machine when out of nowhere, Crayons tackles him and they have a struggle)
Markers: CRAYONS! GET OFF ME!
Crayons: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, MARKERS?! WE’VE DONE NOTHING TO YOU!
Markers: SQUIDWARD IS THE BIGGEST THREAT TO CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT! I’M DOING THE WORLD A FAVOR BY TAKING HIM OUT!
Crayons: YOU AREN’T TAKING HIM OUT ON MY [dolphin chirp] WATCH!
(Their struggle continues to get more and more violent, but Crayons begins to have the winning edge as he pins Markers down on the ground)
Crayons: NO MORE GAMES, MARKERS! THIS TIME, YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR!
(Crayons takes out electric handcuffs and is about to cuff Markers, when he gets shot at from above, near-missing him, as it’s revealed to be Fate in his flying machine firing)
Fate: I got you, Markers!
Crayons: What the Hell?!
(Fate fires more shots as one of them hits Crayon in the arm, causing him to fall backwards and off of Markers; Markers quickly stands up and runs back to his Machine as Crayons is on the ground, holding his arm in pain)
Squidward: (Exhausted) Markers, can we just come to some form of agreement? Nobody here wants to fight! We didn’t do anything to warrant you ambushing us!
Markers: What part of you being a genocidal maniac do you just FORGET? I’m not doing this for the Snowflakes or myself, I am doing this for the THOUSANDS - nay, MILLIONS that you and your blasted CULT slaughtered in cold blood!
(As Markers continues dashing to his Machine, SpongeBob and Plankton run in)
Plankton: SPONGEBOB! FIRE!
SpongeBob: Aye aye!
(SpongeBob and Plankton both take out guns and begin firing at Markers, eventually hitting him in the foot as he kneels)
Markers: ACH! THAT HURTS!
SpongeBob: Booyah! 
Plankton: Quick, SpongeBob! Throw me in the machine!
(SpongeBob winds his arm as he tosses Plankton in the air as he lands in the chair of Markers’ machine, as he begins laughing)
Plankton: Excellent throw, SpongeBob!
Markers: Barnacles!
Crayons: Plankton, what are you doing?! Do you even know how to pilot that thing?!
Plankton: I DON’T KNOW, AND I DON’T CARE
(Plankton begins laughing like a maniac as he begins firing indiscriminately in several directions, towards several Snowflake members, including Fate in his flying machine; Fate just barely swerves out of the way as he turns around and begins firing at Plankton. A few other Snowflakes in war machines run up and surround Plankton, when there’s another slightly larger earthquake causing all of their cannons to fire just shy of Plankton)
Plankton: Does anybody know where those earthquakes are coming from?!
Markers: Does it MATTER?
(Markers motions to one of the Snowflakes, as they get out of their war machine armor and just starts walking away so Markers can take his armor)
Markers: Good thing I made these all identical!
Plankton: Oh, so it’s a War Machine fight you want?! Well then…
(Plankton pauses for a moment as he watches Markers approach him slowly in his machine revving his minigun as he shows an angered expression on his face)
Plankton: (Shouting at the top of his lungs) IT’S A WAR MACHINE FIGHT YOU’RE GOING TO GET!
Squidward: (Still exhausted) Plankton, what are you-
(Plankton begins laughing maniacally again as he fires several shots at Markers’ War Machine, but the machine starts to begin turning a red color as the snow beneath him starts steaming; a large patch of snow suddenly melts, and the ground below turns bright red as a pentagram starts to form in the dirt)
Squidward: Oh, what the hell, NOT NOW!
(Dozens of demons being swarming both the Cult and the Snowflakes)
Fate: What are these THINGS?!
Squidward: Demons, a whole legion of them.
SpongeBob: Why are they here NOW of all times?
(As the demons are emerging, one demon with glowing red eyes walks out in front of the rest)
Squidward: So you’re the leader, I assume?
Demon: Address me as Mammon, please. 
Squidward: Okay “Mammon,” why are you here?
Mammon: Azryth sent my legion here to wipe you out. And as it happens, there was already a group of mortals trying to do that. Just my luck!
Markers: So just to be clear, you’re here to help me out?
Mammon: Not necessarily, but yes, we are. 
(Mammon holds out a large broadsword and points it toward Squidward, and everyone charges)
SpongeBob: Squidward, we can’t possibly hold all of them back on our own. 
Squidward: Maybe we won’t have to. Crayons, do you remember that holy water incantation?
Crayons: Indeed I do. Benedictus es…
(As Crayons continues the spell, Plankton uses his war machine to start attacking everything around him)
Plankton: YAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Two demons jump onto the war machine, and Plankton pushes a button causing the armor to heat up and burn them)
Markers: Holy [dolphin noises] these things can HURT DEMONS?!
Plankton: YES THEY CAN MARKERS!
(Plankton runs at Markers; Crayons finishes the incantation and the water next to him is suddenly very clear and crystal like; a demon runs into it trying to attack Crayons but he gets burned and runs away)
Crayons: Quick Squidward, stick your sword in here!
(Squidward thrusts his sword into the holy water and then removes it, then slashes at the same demon disintegrating it instantly)
Squidward: Hell yes, we have a way to fight hell.
(Markers runs at Squidward but gets pushed aside by Mammon)
Markers: What are you doing?! We’re on the SAME SIDE here!
Mammon: I’m here to destroy Squidward, and report back to my boss that I did so. 
Markers: Demons have bosses? Really?
Mammon: I wouldn’t call him my boss, per say. I’m one of the seven demon princes under Lucifer, so is Azryth. I’d like to call it more of a “partnership” but Azryth has been gaining far too much power for me to make a move against him. If it was up to me, I’d be in charge of the demon armies right now. But Azryth found a way to cheat the system, so here I am. 
Markers: Cool story, shame I really don’t care.
(Markers shoots a blade out from the war machine armor and stabs Mammon in the leg, immobilizing him)
Markers: Sorry, “Mammon,” but I’d rather take down this stupid Cult by myself.
(Mammon looks in horror as Markers raises his blade above his head, with the light from the sun reflecting dramatically over him)
Markers: I will see you in Hell, you stupid demon.
Mammon: Markers… Please, Markers… NO! PLEASE!
(Markers laughs as Mammon cowers in fear over his blade; Markers raises his blade even higher as he swipes at Mammon, but his blade bounces off and he falls on the floor)
Mammon: (Hearty laugh) You naive, arrogant FOOL! You can’t kill a demon THAT easily! Especially not with your weak mortal blades, and you’re pathetic for even thinking you can TRY!
(Markers is stunned by this, and Mammon swipes his hand in his direction as Markers freezes like a statue)
Mammon: Now, if there are no further interruptions…
(Mammon summons a blade made of blue fire into his hand as his eyes start burning as well)
Mammon: I have a JOB TO DO.
(Out of nowhere, Mammon swings his flamesword, sending a huge blue flame quickly careening towards Squidward, who luckily jumps out of the way before he gets hit)
Mammon: You never like making this easy, huh? You just never want to turn yourself in and get it done with? You always just have to fight. If you just turned yourself in to Satan when you made that deal with him, you wouldn’t be in this situation.
Squidward: Yeah, because I’d be in HELL!
Mammon: It’s not THAT bad. Well unless you happen to be a soul of the damned which you most certainly would be, but for me it isn’t THAT bad. 
(Squidward thrusts his sword up into Mammon’s side, but Mammon is able to step out of the way and only get grazed by it)
Mammon: Cute.
(Mammon lunges at Squidward and grabs him by the throat, hoisting him into the air and then slamming him into the ground, then preparing his sword for a swing into Squidward)
Mammon: I don’t have time for this nonsense. Those other stupider demons may not be able to hit you, but I am DIFFERENT. I know EVERY ONE of your tricks.
Squidward: What does killing me even get you?!
Mammon: Azryth wants you out of his way. I hate him - very much so, but he’s become far too powerful for me to stop.
Squidward: So you’re his little pet now? That’s the trade off? You’re just going to do whatever he says because you’re scared of him? You’re such a coward!
Mammon: SHUT UP!
(Mammon’s eyes turn dark blue and flames erupt from them)
Mammon: I’m NOT a coward. 
(Mammon drops his sword but it’s caught midair by Plankton in the war machine, who pushes it up with enough force for the butt of the sword to slam directly into Mammon’s jaw, knocking him back)
Plankton: Booyah! Enjoy your broken BONES!
(Plankton begins punching Mammon several times)
Mammon: Yeah, doesn’t really bother me. 
(Mammon snaps his vessel’s bones back into place begins tearing into Plankton’s armor)
Plankton: How are you-
Mammon: I’m a demon, Plankton. 
(Squidward is able to stab Mammon in the back with his sword)
Mammon: OW- WHAT THE-
(Mammon turns around before Squidward can grab the sword, and he pulls it out of himself)
Mammon: That’s a neat party trick you’ve got there! 
(Mammon throws the blade into the ground and gets tackled by Plankton, Squidward sprints to the sword and picks it up, throwing it to Plankton, who misses it)
Mammon: HA!
(Mammon rips off one of the war machine armor’s arms and begins destroying it before launching it at Squidward; cut to Markers slowly twitching his eyes before jerking his limbs as he struggles to move, before eventually falling to his knees, panting heavily)
Markers: Thank the LORD!
(Crayons walks up to Markers)
Markers: Crayons? What are you doing here? Did we win?
Crayons: No. I heard you struggling to unfreeze yourself. And I came here to finish you off.
Markers: Really, Crayons? I don’t even have my fancy armor on and you want to fight?
Crayons: I really do. I think way past time you paid for everything you’ve caused.
Markers: Crayons, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I haven’t been THAT naughty. 
Crayons: You’ve tried to kill my friends and I numerous times, you’re directly responsible for giving that madman Jerry the book, you took over the Snowflakes and now you’re here trying to kill us YET AGAIN. When does it end, Markers?
Markers: Once I achieve that last goal. 
(Markers grabs a small pistol from his pant pocket and shoots at Crayons, hitting him in the shoulder)
Crayons: (Weakly) Bullet wound or not… I’m still gonna f[dolphin chirp] KILL YOU!
(Crayons raises his blade in the air as he slashes it quickly at Markers, who scooches out of the way just fast enough that the blade misses his chest and instead cuts his hand off, causing his screams of pain to echo across the mountain; Crayons sees the wound, weakly tries to raise the blade again, but collapses to his knees)
Markers: WELL?! AREN’T YOU GONNA FINISH THE REST OF ME?! 
Crayons: (Panting heavily; weak, exhausted tone) I… I can’t… the wound in my shoulder… I can hardly… Hold… The blade….
(Crayons takes a big breath before falling face first into the snow, holding his bullet wound as Markers watches, his hand continuing to bleed)
Markers: Pathetic… Even with this amputation, I can still finish YOU off.
(Crayons looks at Markers, who picks up his sword)
Markers: Want me to end you off?
(Crayons tries to answer but he is too weak, being unable to say anything; Markers winces in pain as he drops his sword)
Markers: No. A sword death is unneeded. Your bullet wound is guaranteed to make you bleed out. You will become one with the mountain. That’s way more humane than stabbing you to death.
(Crayons continues to hold his wound as he sees Markers walk off into the distance; cut to SpongeBob fighting Fate)
SpongeBob: Fate, why are you working for Markers of all people?
Fate: It’s a means to an end, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: You know my name?
Fate: Of course I do. You are SpongeBob, the world famous frycook. And also my-
(Fate stops himself)
SpongeBob: Your what? I’m your what?
(Fate shoots a missile at SpongeBob out of nowhere; SpongeBob flings his sword at the missile, and it deflects upward and explodes high above the fight)
Fate: Welp. 
(Fate goes to fire another missile; cut to Plankton and Squidward, still fighting Mammon)
Mammon: Two against one, this fight doesn’t feel very fair, now does it?
(A bunch of demons suddenly appear around Mammon)
Mammon: THAT’S more like it!
Squidward: Hiding behind other demons, really? And you want me to not call you a coward?
Mammon: I really don’t like that word. Fighting two on one? Is that not “cowardly,” Squidward? Taking advantage of a corrupt government and using brute force to take control of an entire sea? Is that not “cowardly?” Millions dead and for what? What was it all for Squidward, hm? What was the end goal? The big message you wanted to send? 
Squidward: You talk too much. 
(Mammon notices that Plankton is now holding something in his remaining war machine arm, a cluster bomb looking object)
Mammon: You really think a bomb’s going to work against my army of demons?
Demon 1: I’ve been through worse.
Demon 2: These guys really are sort of stupid, aren’t they?
(Plankton throws the bomb and it explodes, shrapnel flying into dozens of demons and a piece of shrapnel gets lodged in Squidward’s robotic arm)
Mammon: Nice. Kill them now, please.
Demon 1: Boss, this kind of stings.
Demon 2: REALLY BAD.
Plankton: I turned my sword into a bomb. Pretty clever, huh? And that isn’t the end of it!
(Plankton presses a button on his Machine, and thousands of broken glass shards shoot out the front at the demons, cutting their arms, bodies, legs and throats, until they all fall to the floor writhing in pain, with purple smoke coming out of their cuts until their eyes all turn yellow and they stop moving)
Squidward: Plankton, what the HELL was that?!
Plankton: I made a modification to this Machine! Broken glass is a very effective weapon!
Squidward: But… That is overkill! 
Plankton: Overkill, but it WORKS!
Mammon: JUST DIE ALREADY!
(Mammon stabs Squidward through the leg)
Squidward: AH!
Mammon: I’m going to make you FEEL it Squidward. You’re going to feel EVERY last moment you’re alive. 
(Mammon’s sword lights on fire as he removes it from Squidward’s leg and then stabs him in the side)
Plankton: Squidward! 
Mammon: I’m sorry Squidward, but it’s time you meet your end.
(Squidward falls to his knees as Mammon drags his sword over to finish him off)
Mammon: Who would’ve guessed that I’d be the one to finally do this job? ME?
(There’s a flare gun shot in the background and three people on motorcycles ride into the battlefield)
Mammon: Who the-
(The motorcycle riders begin shooting nets out onto the demons that begin instantly burning them, the lead rider shoots a harpoon into one of the Snowflakes war machines and brings it down)
Squidward: Who are you people?!
(The lead rider removes their helmet to reveal…)
SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff?!
Mrs. Puff: Who did you THINK I was? And why are you on OUR turf?
(Across the battlefield, Krabs spots Mrs. Puff and drops his weapon; there’s a battle cry from the distance and everyone looks over to see Noseward, who’s healthy and well, leading the few cultists into battle)
Noseward: GUESS WHAT?! I’M BACK!
Demon: Who the hell are you?
Noseward: The squid who survived being tortured by an angel, and the one who’s going to send your sorry ass back to hell!
(Noseward pulls a grenade pin and just straight up jams it into the demon’s mouth)
Noseward: Can’t be on earth if you don’t have a body!
(Noseward jumps back and we cut to a zoomed out shot of a small explosion; the shot also reveals the sheer scope of the ongoing battle)
Mrs. Puff: Who are THEY?! 
(Everyone is centered in a circle at this point; some are fighting, some aren’t, most are just confused as two more motorcyclists ride into battling)
Krabs: Okay, can somebody please explain what the hell is going on?!
(The other two motorcyclists remove their helmets revealing Karen and Pearl)
Krabs: Pearl?! How- what- how are you here?! How are you even- alive?!
Pearl: That’s a very, very long story, daddy. 
Mrs. Puff: Gal Pals stick together!
Fate: What are these girls doing here?
(Fate is shot in the chest by Puff as a few Snowflakes run to help him)
Mrs. Puff: We’re sorry, but you’re on OUR land. The North is OURS. We’ve been here longer than any of you, and we’ve been watching you squabble for months. And let’s just say we don’t approve.
Fate: (Weak) Yeah? And why should we listen to you?
Plankton: Hold on, let’s listen to them.
Krabs: Yeah. I wanna hear what they say.
Squidward: You only say that because you know these people.
Mrs. Puff: SILENCE! We come here not to fight, but to deliver you a grave warning!
Squidward: A… Warning?
Karen: BE WARNED! The North is an absolutely dangerous place! An unstable place! 
Fate: (Weakly) Yeah… We know… It snows like Hell up here…
Karen: The snow is NOTHING! Heed this warning; we have been exploring the North for years, and we have pieced together something dangerous!
Pearl: These Mountains hold a lot of secret caves and ruins. Inside each of them contains ancient scribings from holy, biblical beings.
Karen: It took us several years to translate them, but they all consistently point to one thing… 
(Everyone looks around with anxious but intrigued looks on their faces)
Karen: (Suddenly shouting, startling everyone) DEMONS! ANCIENT DEMONS WITH POWER UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED!
Pearl: DEMONS CAPABLE OF BRINGING ABOUT THE END OF TIMES!
Mrs. Puff: YOU MUST HEED THIS WARNING. PLEASE, HEED OUR WARNING. WE KNOW OF THIS DEMON… BUT WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SUMMON IT! ANYTHING CAN SUMMON IT! ALL THIS CHAOS COULD BE WHAT SETS HIM OFF!
Pearl: STOP THIS FIGHTING!
Karen: OR WE’RE ALL DEAD!
(There is an uncomfortable silence as the Gals look around and see everyone worried)
Mrs. Puff: If you care about the fate of the world… Heed our warning.
(The Gals turn their motorcycles away and begins revving it up, before Puff turns around)
Mrs. Puff: Oh, and by the way, Cult, your doctor is badly injured. We spotted him on his way here. FAREWELL!
(The Gals all ride away, leaving dust and snow behind and in the air, as everyone has uneasy looks on their faces; Fade to Azryth in the cave, with text reading “Meanwhile, running alongside current events”)
Azryth: Rise, rise, RISE! 
(The cave begins rumbling profusely as rocks fall from the ceiling, with the ones falling in the hole making it glow teal; several long, claws shoot up and begin grabbing at the inside of the mountain as a large monstrosity begins pulling itself, cracking the sides of the hole; after more tremors, the monster suddenly and quickly emerges from the hole, letting out a booming, deep cry as Azrtyh stares on it with satisfaction)
Azryth: My work here is done.
(Azryth covers himself in a red cloud as he disappears; the monster fully emerges from the whole to reveal itself; Skelfingin is shown to be a very large, scaly creature reminiscent of a frogfish with massive claws and three heads. The monster looks around the cave, until it begins hearing gunshots and violence from the outside, causing it to become agitated and begin clawing the side of the mountain to break itself free; cut to the outside, where the war has ceased, but the huge mountain behind them is noticeably rumbling)
Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob, Plankton and the rest! We gotta find Crayons! 
Noseward: We’re in the middle of a war!
Squidward: But those Gal Pals told us Crayons is out there somewhere. We can’t risk him being critically injured!
SpongeBob: But how do we even find him?
Squidward: We’ll have to wander.
Plankton: Come on, this landscape is a total maze! Wandering aimlessly is a fantastic way to get lost and never found again.
Squidward: Plankton, you’re smart. Can’t you like, track him?
Plankton: I likely can. 
SpongeBob: Then we have to get a move on!
(As they walk off, Fate fires a shot at Squidward, intentionally missing)
Fate: HEY! Where do you think YOU’RE going?
Squidward: Fate, we’re looking for one of our own. We can’t risk him dying!
Fate: How do we know we can trust you?
Squidward: Where’s Markers?
Fate: I asked you a question first.
Squidward: And I’m not answering until you answer ME. Where is Markers?
Fate: How should I know? 
Squidward: So that snail vanished AGAIN. Typical.
(The rumbling mountain behind them starts emitting a rumbling noise as a low roar echoes across the North)
Squidward: Did you hear that? That really can’t be good.
SpongeBob: We oughta check it out!
Squidward: We can’t! Finding crayons should be our top priority!
Plankton: But that mountain just ROARED. There is obviously something going on in there!
Fate: Hey, why don’t the Snowflakes go investigate?
(Squidward stares long at Fate)
Squidward: Fine. But you BETTER not cross us.
Fate: Crossing you would not be wise, Squidward. There is a disturbance that needs urgent investigating.
(The North has an earthquake as another booming roar echoes)
Squidward: Fine, go on. We gotta hurry, though! Who knows if Crayons is still even alive? Plankton, lead the way!
(The Cult all run off in one single direction as Fate turns to the Snowflakes)
Fate: Snowflakes, come!
Squidward: Just so you know, Fate, this is a TEMPORARY TRUCE. I am keeping my damn eyes on you.
(We cut to Crayons, still greatly injured, but after a little struggle, he manages to stand on his knees and looks at Markers' footprints in the snow)
Crayons: You… son of a bitch…
(Crayons slowly begins following the footprints, trailing after them for a little while, before a tremor knocks him back onto the ground)
Crayons: These tremors are getting worse… 
(Crayons looks up and sees a massive shadow looming over him)
Crayons: What the-
(Crayons turns and looks back to see the Cult approaching from behind)
Squidward: Crayons! Thank Neptune, we found you! We were worried that you were dead.
Crayons: How did… you find me?
Squidward: Plankton helped. Now, come on, we have to-
Crayons: No… no, I can't… I'm injured… I got shot… Markers shot me… I'm bleeding out…
(Squidward looks at Crayons for a moment before he notices he is holding his hand to the part of his body he was shot; Squidward slowly lifts Crayons' hand off and sees the bullet wound, still bleeding)
Squidward: Oh my god, you need urgent medical care, STAT! Plankton, fix him up!
Crayons: No, you can't!
Squidward: Why not?! You're dying!
Crayons: The tremors… it's too risky!
Squidward: I’m not going to lose another friend, goddammit! Plankton, fix him, NOW. Please. Please…
Plankton: Can do!
(Plankton hops onto Crayons' shoulder, carrying a first aid kit, but a tremor shakes the mountain once again, causing Plankton to fall off his shoulder and into the snow)
Squidward: Where are those tremors even coming from?!
Crayons: Squidward… look…
(Squidward looks up and sees a massive shadow approaching)
SpongeBob: What is that?!
(The shadow covers the entire North as the mountain containing Skelfingin begins shaking vigorously)
Squidward: That can't be good! We gotta fix Crayons up, and investigate that ASAP!
SpongeBob: But the Snowflakes are on top of that. Our top priority should be helping Crayons.
Plankton: (Crawling back on Crayons' shoulder) I agree! I can heal this wound up fast! I'm a master at first aid.
Squidward: You better hurry - I don't know what's about to happen, but I can say for certain it won't be pretty.
(Fade to the Snowflakes walking across the snowy landscape right as the North begins shaking and the shadow covers it)
Krabs: I have a terrible feeling about this, Fate. This darkness seems like bad news.
Fate: This shadow is probably nothing more than the clouds blocking out the sun. We have nothing to worry about. All we need to do is investigate the strange happenings of the North.
(Suddenly, Mammon's laugh can be heard echoing the mountain)
Fate: Not this again. Everyone, prepare your weapons. 
(Mammon suddenly appears in a cloud of flames)
Mammon: You people really don't have any idea just how screwed you really are.
Fate: Stop being vague. Just tell us; what exactly are we going up against? What the Hell is the cause of all this strangeness?
Mammon: You really want to know, do you?
Fate: If you don't tell us, we'll blast you back to Hell.
Mammon: (Chuckles) I like your attitude, Fate. I suppose you were going to find out one way or another. It’s Skelfingin. That’s what it is, that’s what that psychopath Azryth unleashed. That's what your going up against? 
Fate: What the hell is Skelfingin? 
Mammon: The simple answer? God’s personal attack dog. Back when he first created the universe, he experimented with all sorts of different “guardians of heaven.” There’s forces that exist that even God needs some help with, so he created Skelfingin long before he created the angels. Skelfingin was a sort of “beta angel.” He was a great beast that was going to protect Heaven alongside the archangels, but Heaven didn’t need protection like that after the Eternal War. 
Fate: So what, it’s a big angel? 
Mammon: Not exactly. It’s a primordial beast with raw strength that puts the angels to shame. God saw that Skelfingin couldn’t exist with the rest of creation, so he fought it PERSONALLY and locked it away deep in the Earth so it wouldn’t ever see the light of creation again. Then, he created the rest of the angels, then life, you know the rest. 
Fate: How do you know all this?
Mammon: My boss told me. 
Krabs: Satan? 
Mammon: Bingo! 
Krabs: I find it hard to believe anything could be more powerful than Satan. I think you're bluffing. 
Mammon: Naive fools. I suppose it doesn't really matter if you believe me or not. Skelfingin is being unleashed, you are all going to perish, and there is nothing you can do about it. The only thing you can hope for now is that God has mercy in your souls. 
(In a bright flash, Mammon vanishes, leaving the Snowflakes confused)
Krabs: Oh, okay. I see. 
Random Snowflake: WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
(Fate smacks the Snowflake)
Fate: Get A HOLD of yourself, man! For all we know, that spineless demon could just be trying to scare us away from this part of the mountain.
Krabs: But if that was the case, then what exactly IS it that they’re scaring us away from?
Fate: It could be anything. But whatever it is, I don’t really care. We have a mission we need to do. We can’t be worrying about this crap.
(Fate continues onward with everyone else slowly trailing behind; Cut to Plankton finishing stitches on Crayons)
Crayons: Plankton, I didn’t realize you had this much medical training! 
Plankton: Well, when the world fell apart and the Feathered Friends formed, somebody had to learn how to do these types of things. I can’t believe how long it has been since the Feathered Friends became allies with -
(Suddenly, there’s a very loud roar heard from the mountain; There is a silence amongst the Cult)
Squidward: That’s that roar from earlier… And it seemed to have gotten… Louder.
Noseward: What do you think it -
(The same roar once again erupts through the mountain, as we can see some of the Cult visibly shaking with fear; it fades to the secret cave in the mountain, where the roar originates from, as the giant creature at the bottom of the pit suddenly juts out of the hole it is being held in, immediately letting out a tremendous roar as it does so; we see the Cult once again, as this huge roar is unleashed; the roar is so powerful that the snow from the mountain flies up into the air and back down)
Squidward: Well… Whatever it is we’re about to face… I hope is merciful…
(As the snow explodes upwards in a blizzard, then the exposed rocks begin to fly away from the mountain. The Cult watches in absolute horror as it zooms into Squidward’s eyes, where reflected in his eyes are a huge, scaly beast with giant claws and teeth, roaring as the mountain begins shaking)
Squidward: Ah… Oh my.. What… Is….
(Squidward begins hyperventilating the more he stares at the beast, until eventually he starts shaking and screaming, until he falls backwards onto the snow)
Crayons: Squidward! We have to go, NOW. 
(Squidward twitches on the floor as he yelps in terror)
Crayons: Damnit, he’s totally out of it! Whatever that… that THING is, it put Squidward into a trance!
Plankton: What even is it?! It denies explanation!
SpongeBob: Do you really want to wait around to FIND OUT?!
(SpongeBob stares at the beast before he also falls to the ground screaming in terror)
Crayons: Noseward?
Noseward: I’ve got nothing, man. 
Crayons: Isn’t it obvious? This thing is so scary, that staring at it causes you to be… be…
Plankton: Causes you to be, what?
Crayons: (Begins hyperventilating) Markers? No, you left, you-
Plankton: There’s nobody there! 
(Crayons begins crying, Plankton also begins to panic)
Noseward: Guys! We have to go! 
(Noseward looks at all his friends, on the floor, panicking and babbling incoherent nonsense)
Noseward: Guys? GUYS?
(Noseward hesitantly stares at the beast as well, as it attempts to squirm out of the mountain)
Noseward: But… I’m also looking at it… why am I not being driven insane?
(Noseward picks up Plankton, who is rocking back and forth chattering his teeth, speaking in tongues)
Noseward: PLANKTON! PLANKTON, CAN YOU HEAR ME? PLANKTON! SQUIDWARD! CRAYONS! ANYBODY?
(Plankton, suddenly, stops shaking as his pupils shrink and he stands up on his feet, vomiting)
Noseward: Plankton! Buddy? Are you alright?
(Plankton is speaking in tongues, until he freezes, shakes his head, then blinks twice)
Plankton: Wuh…
Noseward: Plankton! You’re okay! What happened?
Plankton: Uh… I… I dunno… It’s as if… It’s as if all my primordial fears all, well… Just flashed before my eye…
Noseward: Your fears? You saw your fears?
Plankton: (Coughs) Yes… All of them… I … I don’t want to talk about it…
Noseward: Then, what about…
(The camera zooms in on Squidward and then suddenly we see Squidward in his delusion)
Squidward: It was a mistake, I should’ve never made that deal with you!
(A figure emerges from the shadows)
Satan: You know why you had to.
Squidward: I was GREEDY, I just wanted power back. And because of it, the world almost ended and the world’s going to end again because of YOU. 
Satan: You mean because of YOU. You’re the one that called, you’re the one who let me out. You really think you beat me just by putting me in that cage? I’m going to come back, and you know that just as well as I do. 
Squidward: You’re gone. We defeated you!
Satan: I can never die. You simply IMPRISONED me. And you know I’ll get out. Azryth did, why shouldn’t I?
Squidward: Azryth… he escaped from a prison? 
Satan: He did, I sensed it. He’s one of mine, after all. That’s what makes him so dangerous. You’re going to die, all of you are going to DIE. 
Squidward: NO! YOU SPEAK… YOU SPEAK LIES!
Satan: Please, you and I both know you can’t escape death FOREVER. You DESERVE to perish. Remember all those lives you claimed? You’re an evil person at heart, Squidward. You know this. Deep down inside you… YOU KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE!
Squidward: Stop it! STOP!
Noseward: S-
Squidward: Wha? Hello?!
Noseward: (Echoey) Squidward! 
Squidward: STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD, SATAN! 
Satan: YOU’RE EVIL. YOU’RE A MONSTER. YOU DESERVE TO PERISH YOU ARE-
Noseward: (Echoey) SQUIDWARD?
Squidward: Huh-Noseward? How are you-
Satan: HES NOT HERE! NOBODYS HERE! NOBODYS GOING TO SAVE YOU-
Noseward: (echoey) Squidward I don’t know if you can hear me but you have to snap out of it, this monster, it’s giving you some sort of hallucination!
Satan: HE SPEAKS LIES! HE-
(Squidward punches Satan and he turns into a cloud of smoke, instantly disappearing)
Squidward: Noseward how did you-how did you snap me out of that?
Noseward: I have no idea, but we can’t afford to stay here, asking questions. Come on now, we have to get the others and stop that thing before it destroys everything!
Plankton: It may be too late for that.
(They look at the beast and he’s already destroyed most of the mountain; cut to the Snowflakes observing the monstrosity)
Fate: What in Neptune is…
(Fate stares at the beast for an extended period of time, heavily breathing, but ultimately fighting off the fear; he eventually points his finger at the beast)
Fate: MEN! FIRE AT IT!
(The Snowflakes begin firing rockets at the beast; as the rockets hit it, they bounce off and explode on the ground, only making the monstrosity angrier. It turns and begins walking toward the Snowflakes who begin to collapse in fear)
Fate: RUN FOR IT!
(Fate looks at his comrades shaking in fear on the floor as the beast starts walking closer and closer)
Fate: DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!
(Fate hesitates at first, but soon runs away as the beast slowly trails behind him; fade to Bikini Bottom, center of Phoenix Plaza, where two Reborn guards are on patrol in front of LRH’s castle right as an earthquake roars)
Phoenix Guard 1: What was that?! 
Phoenix Guard 2: There have been tremors like this all day! I can’t think this is normal. 
(Suddenly, their walkie-talkies begin beeping, and they frantically pick up)
Phoenix Guard 2: Hello? Come in! Hello?!
Walkie Talkie: EVERYONE, WE HAVE A SITUATION! I NEED ALL FIREPOWER TO THE PLAZA, RIGHT AWAY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
(The 2 guards exchange confused looks as they grab their heavy artillery and walk towards the front of Phoenix plaza. More guards join as the tremors get worse and worse; when they’re all in the Plaza, they are talking to eachother in confusion, as a military commander struts in front of them all)
Commander: GENTLEMEN! WE HAVE A SITUATION. THESE TREMORS KEEP GETTING WORSE, AND WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT IT’S THE DAMN CULT LAUNCHING AN ATTACK. WE NEED TO FIGHT BACK! WE NEED TO MARCH UP THERE TO THOSE MOUNTAINS, AND -
(Suddenly, a tremor so bad that it knocks everyone off their feet and rolling across the ground occurs, and as everyone stands up, they look at the North, as the top of the Mountain begins rumbling profusely)
Phoenix Guard: What the hell?!
(Everyone in Phoenix Plaza look terrified as it zooms into the reflection of one of their eyes, where it can be seen that in the distance, Skelfingin explodes out of the mountain and roars so loud that it shakes the entire world; a bunch of Phoenix soldiers pass out from the sheer terror of what they’re seeing, as the Commander faces towards the army)
Commander: GENTLEMEN! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL THAT THING IS, OR WHAT IT WANTS, BUT OUR NEW OBJECTIVE IS CLEAR - GET OUR BUTTS OVER THERE, AND DESTROY THE F[dolphin chirp] MONSTROSITY!
(The camera zooms out from Phoenix Plaza as we see the entire Phoenix army, including tanks and fighter jets slowly march their way towards the North; it cuts back to the Cult, who have reached the Snowflakes)
Fate: Squidward! What’s going on?! 
Squidward: (still shouting from a distance) IT’S A BIG MONSTER!
Fate: Any details?!
Squidward: It makes you feel FEAR. 
Fate: Ah. 
Squidward: That’s all you have to say?! 
Fate: I’ll be real, Squidward, I have no idea what else to add. I’ve never seen anything like THIS before in my life…
(The cultists have now all joined the snowflakes, all looking in horror as Skelfingin approaches)
Squidward: Well, prepare to fi-
(Squidward falls to the ground again, and a loud voice begins speaking to only him)
Voice: YOU. DEATH. MILLIONS. 
Squidward: What- who are- what exactly- am I speaking to whatever the monster is?
Voice: I’M NOT A MONSTER. I AM SKELFINGIN. ENDER OF CIVILIZATIONS. DEFEATER OF ARCHANGELS. ENDER OF ALL LIFE AS YOU MAY KNOW IT. PRISONER OF THE MOUNTAIN. THAT DEMON, HE WOKE ME. 
Squidward: Demon- Azryth?! Azryth freed you?!
Skelfingin: HE DID. AND NOW I SHALL BRING ABOUT THE END OF GODS CREATION.
Squidward: Wait, why- (Squidward grabs his head in pain) why are you telling me this?
Skelfingin: YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME. MINDLESS KILLING MACHINE. ONE OF GODS LEAST FAVORITES. LOCKED AWAY, A PRISONER.
Squidward: I’m nothing like you! What even are you?! You’re a monster!
Skelfingin: MONSTER?! NO! I’M THE SAVIOR OF THIS WORLD! I’M HERE TO WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN AGAIN. GOD KEPT ME IN THAT MOUNTAIN FOR AN ETERNITY. 
Squidward: God?? God himself locked you up? What did you do? How-
Skelfingin: I DID NOTHING. I JUST DON’T FIT HIS IMAGE OF PERFECT CREATION. 
Noseward: Squidward, WAKE UP!
(Squidward snaps out of his trance)
Squidward: What the- it spoke- IT SPOKE to me, Noseward. (Grabs Noseward) IT. SPOKE. TO. ME.
Noseward: What? 
Crayons: Squidward must be going mad!
Fate: Hold on, hold on. It may have told him valuable info. What did it say? 
Squidward: It’s a prisoner of God himself. And AZRYTH freed him! 
Fate: Well, it’s right. 
Squidward: What?
Fate: Mammon told me that Azryth freed this thing. 
Squidward: Why would he do that?!
SpongeBob: Maybe he’s just stupid or something. 
Squidward: Whatever, it doesn’t matter. We need to get this thing back to its prison, NOW. Otherwise it’ll be game over for all of us. 
(They all freeze as they hear sounds of jets in the sky)
Fate: What in the…
(They look up and see the Phoenix jets flying in, shooting bombs at the beast, then flying away. The beast becomes agitated as it roars in anger)
Fate: What the hell?!
(They hear footsteps behind them as a small army of Phoenix soldiers appear with heavy weaponry)
Phoenix Soldier: SHOOT AT IT!
(The Phoenix soldiers all shoot their guns at Skelfingin, as the gang ducks under their fire; They fire until they’re out of ammo, look up, and see that their bullets had no effect)
Phoenix Soldier: SH[dolphin chirp]! IT DIDN’T EVEN LEAVE A DENT IN THAT THING! (Kneels, pulls out walkie-talkie) LRH? SIR! WE NEED EVEN MORE MANPOWER THAN WE CURRENTLY-
(The beast roars, causing the Phoenix army to fall on their feet, and Skelfingin begins walking towards them as they all struggle to get on their feet and run away; The beast, however, is able to  catch up with a few of them, eating them alive; we see the beast slowly disappear into the distance, chasing after and eating the Phoenix army, all the while the gang is still ducked in the snow; after a while, Squidward opens his eyes, looks at the beast disappear into the horizon, and gets onto his knees)
Squidward: Guys, I think it’s safe.
(Everyone else slowly gets off the ground)
Fate: Boy, we sure were lucky. It’s like it didn’t even notice us down here.
Crayons: No, I think it noticed us. It must’ve been too agitated by that failed Phoenix attack.
Squidward: Well, let’s just let Phoenix have fun with that thing, while we try to find a way to destroy it.
Plankton: What, are you insane? We can’t just leave that beast alone!
SpongeBob: We also can’t do anything ABOUT it! It’s indestructible! You’d probably need the power of an entire GALAXY to defeat that thing.
Fate: Say… Where are those Phoenix guys heading, exactly?
SpongeBob: Why?
Fate: I think the direction they were running… Means they’re leading that beast straight to… 
Squidward: Dear God. They’re leading it to… BIKINI BOTTOM!
Crayons: Good lord, it’s going to destroy our home town and EVERYONE we know and love!
Squidward: Those IDIOTS! WHAT DO THEY THINK THEY’RE DOING?!
Crayons: I honestly don’t think they understand how powerful it is, or how drastic of a situation this is. 
Squidward: Well, even though they’re our enemies, it’s not like they had a choice. Most of those troops are probably brainwashed to oblivion, we have to warn them. 
(We cut to the Phoenix troops desperately firing all of their weapons at Skelfingin somewhere deeper in the mountain)
Phoenix Guard 1: Nothing’s working! Absolutely nothing is working!
Phoenix Guard 2: FIRE MORE BALLISTICS AT IT!
(The guards load a large missile into a rocket launcher and fire it directly at Skelfingin’s chest; there’s an explosion that spreads across its body, right before the flames die down and there isn’t even a scratch left on it)
Phoenix Guard 1: Okay, we’ve got one last thing to try.
Phoenix Guard 2: No, forget it. I know exactly what you’re thinking - that thing is far too dangerous. We have no idea of its power!
Phoenix Guard 3: Well do you have any other ideas?
Phoenix Guard 1: Just bring it out, we have to stop this beast!
Phoenix Guard 2: No, that’s MADNESS. LRH hasn’t even finished making it! Our scientists warned that-
Phoenix Guard 1: I DON’T CARE WHAT THE SCIENTISTS SAY - WE’RE OUT OF OPTIONS HERE! JUST BRING IT OUT!
(Four Phoenix guards bring a gigantic metal pipe angled upwards, which they adjust to aim for the beast’s head; the cannon begins to charge, a Phoenix emblem on the side begins glowing orange as lights turn on all across the machine; a low humming sound emanates from the machine, followed by a blast of pure orange light shooting directly at the beast’s head; as the blast fires, the ocean and reality itself warps around the light and everything seems to be momentarily drawn toward it, and a Phoenix Guard suddenly completely vanishes; the beam hits Skelfingin and causes it to stumble backwards, fall to the ground, and let out a roar that deafens the entire ocean)
Phoenix Guard 1: (noticing the missing guard) Jay? Jay?! where did you go?!
Phoenix Guard 3: Are you crazy?! Don’t call him by his actual name!! Do you want Lord Royal Highness to put you back into the Rebirthing chamber?! 
Phoenix Guard 1: JAY IS DEAD! HE JUST VANISHED. AND LOOK - THE ATTACK DIDN’T EVEN WORK!
(The guards exchange looks, then the beast begins to rise once more)
Phoenix Guard 1: ALL TROOPS! FALL BACK! NOW! THAT'S A DIRECT ORDER!
(Skelfingin, still upset by the attack, roars once more, which causes the ocean floor to rip open; the Cultists have caught up to the beast)
Squidward: Crayons! Any bright ideas? Now would be a VERY good time to share your thoughts!
Crayons: (Looks around a bit) Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. maybe we can hit it with some type of superpowered charge?
Squidward: Huh? Thats your idea?
Crayons: Look around, there’s something really weird going on here. Look at how these trees are warping around!
(The Cult notices the trees appearing to warp and change colors)
Crayons: I don’t know what is happening, but my theory is that there is an unusual source of energy around here. I’ve theorized about an energy force so strong that it causes reality to warp and glitch around it, and that’s exactly what I believe we’re observing!
Fate: Of course - OF COURSE! DARK MATTER! THERE’S DARK MATTER NEARBY!
Plankton: Dark matter? Come on, get real - that stuff doesn’t exist! I’ve tried to harness its power to no avail several times. 
Crayons: Think about it, Plankton - what else could be so powerful that reality glitches around it?
Plankton: There’s a logical explanation for this. Skelfingin must be so powerful that the universe can’t handle it.
Crayons: Well, it’s either your hypothesis, or there’s Dark Matter nearby. 
Plankton: Think about this for a second - Dark Matter is powerful enough to hold galaxies together - that requires enormous amounts of energy and power! Something THAT powerful would probably destroy every atom on Earth, were it really here.
Fate: True, but a SMALL sample of it would simply cause reality to glitch and warp! 
Plankton: It’d have to be an extraordinarily small sample!
Fate: Not impossible.
Plankton: So, where the Hell is it coming from, then? Dark Matter doesn’t just appear overnight, nor would a beast like Skelfingin be radiating that stuff.
Crayons: So what if it didn’t originate in this dimension?
Fate: I don’t like what you’re implying. 
Squidward: What is he implying?
Crayons: Well, we know Markers was tampering with the multiverse, and then we met that strange green fish from another universe. But think of it - Project Phoenix has enormous power and technology at their disposal. 
Squidward: So… If I am not mistaken, you’re saying that somehow Project Phoenix has access to multidimensional energy?
Crayons: Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. 
Squidward: Well that’s just great to know. Super reassuring! 
Crayons: Well, I mean, they weren’t able to take out the beast completely with that, so-
Squidward: Crayons, do you have any other ideas? Or can we, like, use that leftover energy to hurt the beast?
Fate: What if we get the beast to stand in the center of all of it?
Squidward: What do you mean?
Fate: We attack it and force it into all of that energy, and then maybe that’ll hurt it more?
Plankton: That’s an excellent idea! Not even Skelfingin would be able to withstand the sheer power of Dark Matter - it would rip it apart!
Fate: Finding the Dark Matter is easier said than done, though. How the Hell do we find something so powerful that space and time is altered by its mere presence?
Plankton: I think the thing I am more concerned about is where the HELL did it even come from?
Crayons: Dark Matter is naturally occurring - it holds galaxies together. But Dark Matter doesn’t just appear out of nowhere, something had to have happened here that emanated it!
Squidward: So let’s find it and try to kill this beast then, shall we? 
Plankton: No dice. Whatever caused this leakage is no longer around. What we’re seeing is the aftermath of its use.
Crayons: But, BUT, we can try to hurt it with that residue. There’s going to be one point that’s stronger than the rest, I’m sure if we -
(Suddenly, large storm clouds form around Skelfingin in the distance)
Fate: Uh… Is it now altering weather?
Noseward: I uh, don’t think that’s the dark matter stuff.
Squidward: What is it then?
Noseward: I’m not really sure, I’m just getting this odd feeling. 
Squidward: Odd how? Like the visions you used to have?
Noseward: Yeah, sort of. I don’t know how to explain it.
(The clouds all swirl around the beast, then begin to glow an eerie yellow color, which causes Skelfingin to roar in anger; a massive beam of light shoots down from the center of the sky and hits it on it’s back, forcing it to fall to the ground, causing the ground to shake and struggle to get up)
Noseward: I think it’s the angels! I feel angelic presence!
Squidward: Yeah. Yeah, there’s no other force that could possibly hurt it like that.
Fate: It doesn’t look much hurt, it just looks more pissed off.
(The beam continues to hit Skelfingin, slowly fading away as the beast begins to rise once more)
Crayons: You have GOT to be KIDDING me. Science doesn’t work, religion doesn’t work, my methods aren’t working, what do we even do?
Fate: The Dark Matter, you fools! Have you forgotten? We’re standing next to a gushing supply of the stuff!
Voice: Trust me, that’s not going to work on it.
Squidward: Who said that? (Turns his head, sees something offscreen, and immediately assumes a combat position) What the Hell? What are YOU doing here?!
(The camera pans and we see Azryth approaching the cult)
Noseward: Squidward, you know this guy?
Squidward: That’s Azryth. 
Azryth: Please, please, let’s save the formalities!
(In the background, the beast is beginning to recover from the hit it took)
Azryth: I see you guys have a bit of a situation on your hands!
Squidward: Did you have anything to do wi-
Azryth: So happy you asked, “Brother” Squidward! Can I call you brother? Is that okay? Official title, right? 
Squidward: Stop that.
Azryth: As you wish. (Glee in his voice) Yes, I let that thing out. Isn’t it beautiful?
Squidward: Why did you- what- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Azryth: Squidward! Let’s calm down! (Azryth puts his hand in the air) you’re at about a TEN, I need you to bring it down to say a (he lowers his hand) three or four?
Fate: Are you insane?! You’re going to get us all killed!
Azryth: Gentlemen, please, please. Let’s all calm down, take a few deep breaths. This was a calculated move on my end! I broke that buffoon Jerry out of his cell so I could make him trade places with the beast. Blood magic truly is amazing, isn’t it? And any moment now, the angels are going to show up. I’ll give them an ultimatum, they’ll comply however I damn well please, and then I’ll stop Skelfingin. 
Crayons: Skelfingin?
Azryth: What, you thought big daddy God didn’t give it a name? 
Squidward: Wait, why are you telling us any of this?
Azryth: Well first off, who doesn’t love a good ol fashioned monologue? And second, you’re not going to live long enough to see this plan come to fruition. But, you’ve all pissed me off in a special kind of way. Before you die, I want you to KNEEL.
(Azryth holds out his hand and suddenly Squidward, Noseward, Crayons, Fate, Plankton, and SpongeBob all fall to their knees)
SpongeBob: What the-
Azryth: You’ve been awfully quiet tonight! I think I’ll let you live the longest because it seems like you know your place!
(SpongeBob pulls a holy water dipped dagger out of his pocket and throws it at Azryth; the dagger pushes into his chest and leaves a noticeable hole)
Azryth: Ouch! Lots of damage you did to me there!
(The dagger is pushed out of Azryth’s chest by seemingly nothing, falling to the ground as he picks it up and his wound heals instantly)
SpongeBob: That’s not possible, that’s-
Azryth: You’re very narrow minded if you truly believe that, SpongeBob. 
(Squidward stands to his feet and runs at Azryth, whipping out a spear that he swings at Azryth; Azryth dodges the spear, grabs Squidward by his metal arm, and begins to crush it; as he’s crushing Squidward’s arm, Fate tries to throw a punch at him from behind but Azryth uses his free hand to catch the punch and throw both to the ground)
Azryth: That the best you guys got?!
(Noseward stabs Azryth from behind with the dagger, Azryth turns to face him, pulling the dagger out and stabbing it into his foot)
Noseward: OH MY [dolphin noises]
(Plankton runs and pulls the dagger out of Noseward’s foot, then he stabs Azryth in the foot with it)
Azryth: Please.
(Azryth punts Plankton back a few dozen yards with his other food; Squidward gets up and hits Azryth in the chest with the blunt end of his spear, then he swings and slashes across his chest; SpongeBob runs and grabs the dagger out of Azryth’s foot, trying to stab Azryth in the back; Squidward swings the spear again but Azryth catches it and snaps it in half, then he catches SpongeBob’s dagger between two of his fingers and whips it back hard enough to hit SpongeBob to the ground with the blunt end; Crayons helps SpongeBob up but Azryth pushes them both back down hard, making them both hit their heads and bounce back up from the ground; all six men look tired and defeated as Azryth once again forces everyone to their knees)
Azryth: When I tell you to kneel, you KNEEL. Get it? I’m done entertaining this. 
(Azryth puts the dagger back into his hand and walks over to Squidward, raising the blade to stab and kill him before there’s a loud crackling noise behind him as three angels drop to the ground, with a fourth hitting the ground immediately after)
Azryth: (softly) finally. Raphael!
(The last angel that landed walks out to Azryth, grabs him by the shoulder, and the group teleports to a dark room)
Raphael: Azryth! I see you’ve caused quite the stir. We’re not going to kill you yet, we just want to t-
Azryth: HAHAHAHAHA. You think YOU can kill ME? 
Raphael: Don’t test me, boy. 
Azryth: I’ve gained powers that you couldn’t even dream of, old man. How’s your dad doing? Been quiet for a while now, hasn’t he? 
Raphael: Do not SPEAK of my father. He’s left me as commander of Heaven’s army in his absence. 
Azryth: Yeah, seems like you’re doing a great job here.
Raphael: Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? You let the beast out, you know how to put it back. Put it back, now. I won’t ask twice.
Azryth: Well, I’m going to need something first.
Raphael: We’re not giving you anything.
Azryth: I’m not asking. That beast? Skelfingin? I am the ONLY one who can put it away. And you’ve been around longer than I have, Raphael, you know very well what this thing is capable of. And you’re livid that I’m the only one that knows how to put it away! 
Raphael: Very well. What do you want?
Azryth: (points at the angels) them.
Raphael: And what will you do when I say no?
Azryth: I’ll kill them myself and then cage the beast as a sign of “good will”.
(The three angels draw their weapons)
Raphael: Killing my brothers is an act of war, Azryth.
Azryth: Let’s not put a name to it. 
(Azryth teleports behind one of the angels and before anybody else can react, slits his throat. A blue essence comes out of the angel, which Azryth quickly breathes in, causing his entire body to glow momentarily. Raphael draws a blade and turns to stab Azryth, but he’s gone; the other two angels look at their fallen brother in horror)
Angel 1: Raphael, what are we going to do?
Raphael: We’re going to prepare Heaven for war. 
(Azryth teleports back to where the cult was left)
Squidward: Escape your angel buddies?
Azryth: Goodbye for now, Squidward. 
(Azryth draws his sword and plunges it toward Squidward, but he’s swatted away by Skelfingin; the beast turns and faces the group)
SpongeBob: Oh god.
Squidward: SpongeBob, you and I both know what we have to do.
SpongeBob: Can we even hurt it a little?
Fate: Let’s find out. 
(Fate grabs a large rock and swings it, throwing it at the beast with immense strength)
Noseward: Woah, what the Hell? How did you throw it that hard?
(Fate grabs the Book of the Damned from inside of his robes)
Fate: I was able to snag this from Markers during the fight.
Squidward: That would’ve been nice to have earlier.
Fate: Earlier, you guys didn’t trust me. And I know you still don’t trust me, but we’re all going to die here anyways, so I don’t think it matters. 
Crayons: A bit gloomy, don’t you think?
Fate: No, I’m just being realistic.
Squidward: What the Hell else are you hiding from us?!
Fate: We can’t keep discussing this, Squidward. We gotta fight that beast.
Squidward: Well, let’s hit this thing with everything we’ve got. 
(Fate opens the book, shouts an incantation, and suddenly Noseward triples in size)
Noseward: Woah! I can smell EVERYTHING. 
(Noseward stares at Skelfingin, who is growling at him)
Noseward: YOU WANT SOME, B[dolphin chirp]
(Noseward runs at Skelfingin’s leg and pushes into it very hard, knocking the beast off balance; it’s able to quickly find its footing again and swipe at Noseward, causing a scar to form across his face, making him scream in pain)
Squidward: NOSEWARD! ARE YOU OKAY?
(Noseward falls backward, onto the snow, shrinking to his normal size, with his scar glowing purple, as everyone runs to check on him)
Fate: SpongeBob, how about a ton of bubbles?
(Fate says another incantation and suddenly SpongeBob is able to shoot massive bubbles out of his hands)
SpongeBob: How did you do that? Isn’t that book ancient or something?
Fate: This book draws power from the mind, it can essentially do anything I want it to as long as I use the right spells. 
(SpongeBob begins firing bubbles at Skelfingin that explode on its skin on impact, pushing it back; the beast retaliates, roaring loud enough to force everyone back)
Squidward: Oh god, I can feel it again… THE VISIONS…
(Squidward looks around and begins seeing small fires and his friends all getting hurt, but the visions vanish as Fate casts another incantation; Squidward jumps up very high and punches Skelfingin in one of its eyes. The beast roars again)
Squidward: Fate, whatever you’re doing, keep it up!
(Fate says another incantation and Plankton appears in a brand new mech suit)
Fate: I fixed it for you, Plankton. DO SOME DAMAGE!
Plankton: You don’t gotta tell me!
(Plankton suddenly fires a barrage of missiles and bullets at Skelfingin while laughing maniacally; A missile hits the beast’s eye, causing it to gush purple blood and making it stumble a bit before falling on its side, roaring in pain)
Squidward: Woah, good shot!
Crayons: So, what? Is the beast downed?
Fate: I’m not entirely sure.
(Skelfingin stands back up, roaring again, the eye begins growing back as it turns toward everyone; it charges, roaring once again, sending Squidward, Fate, and SpongeBob flying backwards into a large boulder. Fate drops the book, and it’s buried under sand kicked up by the beast’s roar. Noseward shrinks as his connection to the magic is severed, and the beast picks him up, slamming him into the ground. The beast grabs at Plankton’s mech, shredding his suit as he’s just barely able to escape; it looks directly at Crayons, causing him to freeze in fear as he helplessly watches it go towards him preparing to eat him)
Squidward: NO!!! CRAYONS, MOVE!
Crayons: I… I CAN’T… I… I…
(The beast lunges toward Crayons to finish him when a loud explosion is heard by everyone, causing the beast to hastily land on the ground as it frantically turns his head to find out what made that noise; Crayons shudders a little more before he snaps out of his paralysis and runs behind a tree)
Fate: What was that-
SpongeBob: Do you see that smoke at the mountain?
(SpongeBob points back toward the mountain the beast came from, where a column of smoke is rising into the sky)
Squidward: What the [dolphin noises] could that be!?
(Skelfingin stops looking around and then jolts his head towards where Crayons was, seeing that he is no longer there, making the beast growl as it randomly swipes towards several trees and deletes them from existence. The beast begins to march toward the rising smoke, Fate frantically digs into the snow for the book, finding it and quickly opening it, casting an incantation that gives everyone the ability to run incredibly fast)
Squidward: Quickly, run toward the mountain! 
Crayons: Isn’t that THING going that way?!
Squidward: But that’s also where it came from. Maybe we can put it back into whatever cage was there for it?
Fate: Good plan, but we’ve got to hurry! Crayons blew his cover!
(Everyone sprints toward the mountain, making it there with incredible speed as the beast runs toward them; Squidward makes it to the mountain, seeing Azryth standing on a cliff)
Squidward: For the love of God, why are you here?!
Azryth: Well, Squidward, I got what I wanted. So, I’m going to put the monster back into its cage.
Fate: You can explain later! Just do it already, we don’t have time for this! It’s trailing behind us!
Azyrth: Step back. Leave this to me.
(Azryth begins chanting the same incantation from the previous episode as Skelfingin continues its charge towards them)
Azryth: Exite, mundi perditor, prodite… Exite, mundi perditor, prodite… Exite, mundi perditor, prodite. 
(Skelfingin stops charging suddenly and appears to freeze in place)
Squidward: Whatever you’re doing, do it faster! It’s almost here!
(The beast opens its mouth and a large ball of black and purple energy begins spinning, growing in size as it appears to be getting ready to fire at Azryth)
Azryth: Excite, mundi perditor, prodite! EXITE, MUNDI PERDITOR PRODITE….
(Skelfingin unleashes a large beam of energy from its mouth, evaporating everything in its path but it’s stopped by a large blue beam that shoots up from the mountain. The two beams hit each other, causing a large implosion that drags the beast toward the mountain)
Azryth: I’ll be seeing you lot later. 
(Azryth teleports away)
Squidward: Get down the mountain, NOW!
(Squidward leads everyone down the mountain frantically, barely escaping another explosion as Skelfingin disappears into the center of the mountain)
Fate: I think it’s over.
Squidward: Why did Azryth put it back in its cage?
Fate: Doesn’t really matter, does it? 
(Fate hands Squidward the Book of the Damned)
Squidward: You’re willingly giving this to me?
Fate: I failed my mission, and I failed to recognize that there is a shred of kindness in you and your cult. 
Squidward: But why give up the book?
Fate: Azryth’s going to be back, and I know you guys can do a better job hiding that book than I can. 
(Squidward takes the book, and Fate whispers one last incantation, disappearing in a ray of light; a familiar crab emerges from the crumbled mountain)
Squidward: Jerry, what did you do?
Jerry: I-I made a horrible mistake. I let that demon trick me into almost ending the entire world. 
Squidward: You do realize that we’re going to punish you for that, right?
Jerry: Are you going to kill me? I’d understand if you do, I just hope to god I’m the cult’s final victim. 
Squidward: No, we’re not going to kill you.
(Everyone looks at Squidward with a little bit of shock)
Squidward: We’re going to take you prisoner, and maybe someday we’ll even let you out.
Jerry: Why can’t you just kill me? I have no purpose, 
Squidward: We don’t kill. That was the old Cult. Murdering your enemies is useless. 
(Jerry and the rest all stare at Squidward)
Squidward: We’re just going to imprison you for however long we see fit.
Crayons: Squidward, that’s-
Squidward: Crayons, murder is animalistic. We just saved the entire ocean from a beast of unimaginable power - we can’t sully that by murdering our enemy. Besides, he might have information we can use. 
Crayons: (Short pause) So, should I cuff him?
Squidward: Yes. We need to bring him to our Cabin.
(Crayons cuffs Jerry as he slowly lifts him to his feet, walking him offscreen; Plankton, who is standing by Noseward, looks at Noseward’s purple glowing scar)
Plankton: By God, that is a hideous scar. Why is it… glowing?
Noseward: I don’t know, but I weirdly don’t feel pain where I was hit. In fact… I feel nothing there. 
(Plankton thinks about it for a moment, before putting his hand on Noseward’s scar, being surprised that his hand goes right into it)
Plankton: Woah, what the Hell? Your scar is a vacuum - there’s nothing in there!
Noseward: What?
Plankton: Noseward, it’s as if that beast completely erased the part of you he clawed at from existence. There’s nothing there - it’s a total vacuum!
Noseward: So… Part of me is just, gone?
Plankton: Seems like it.
Noseward: Will… Will this heal?
Plankton: Most likely not. Your body can’t do much to fix this.
Noseward: Damn…
Plankton: Oh, don’t be so sad. Just think about it; That monstrosity only got a little part of you. If he got to the rest of you, you’d be totally erased from existence. You got lucky!
SpongeBob: Wow - that beast could just erase things from existence entirely?
Plankton: I’d say, yes. I would say I’d need to do more studies on this, but with that thing gone, there’s not much I can do.
Squidward: Hate to break the idle conversation, but we’d all better be getting back. The sun is setting.
Plankton: We can discuss it more when we’re at our base. But for now… We just need to rest. Today’s been an eventful day.
(They all slowly trail off behind Squidward and Crayons, who is escorting Jerry back to their base; the words “Epilogue” fade in slowly as it fades to Noseward sitting in the corner looking sad)
Crayons: What’s on your mind, Noseward?
Noseward: Huh? Oh - it’s nothing. I just can’t help but feel sad. Security wasn’t here to help us at all.
Crayons: Oh, don’t get down. Security was an invaluable member of our Cult, sure, and we’re all going to miss him dearly, but I’m sure wherever he is, he would love to have us fight on without him - he would be proud that we were able to defeat that beast without his help. 
(Noseward stares sadly before sighing)
Noseward: I suppose you’re right, Crayons. Security would absolutely want us to fight on - we got to carry on his legacy.
Crayons: That’s the spirit, Noseward! Now, come - we’re about to have a feast. 
(Crayons walks off and Noseward trails behind him; the camera zooms into a framed picture of Security adorned with flowers as the episode fades to black)
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