Squidtastic Voyage (Rewrite)/transcript

== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: October 7, 2000
Episode Copyrighted: 2000
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
Episode starts, The Royal Woods is shown.
French Narrator: Today, we study the gentle rhythm of the town.
The scene shows the exterior of the Loud’s house. Loud music is heard coming from Loud’s house.
French Narrator: *angrily* Gentle rhythm!
The scene shows the front of Loud’s house.
French Narrator: Oh, never mind.
The living room is shown. Gary is shown.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
He covers his ears and runs upstairs. Lincoln's feet start moonwalking.
Lincoln Loud: Uh-huh!
All of him is shown and he is sliding in front of a stereo system and wearing a blue headband.
Lincoln Loud: Uh-huh! *stops next to SpongeBob, who is wearing a violet headband*
The two slap their armpits.
Lincoln Loud: *slaps my left armpit*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *slaps my right*
They get close together and start making fart noises with their armpits. They stop that and separate. They then bob up and down
Lincoln Loud: *runs into another part of the room* Ocean wave. *makes a wave with my arms going right to left and then left to right* Tropical breeze. *starts swaying from side to side*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Tornado. *spins on my right hand and spins faster before spinning on my butt while holding my legs*
Lincoln Loud: Reverse tornado. *twirls myself and spins too*
He and SpongeBob run into each other and go in different directions, bouncing off the walls. Squidward is shown in his room playing his clarinet. He stops playing because he is annoyed with how loud Lincoln's music is.
Squidward Tentacles: *growls*
He marched down the stairs and into the living room.
Squidward Tentacles: Lincoln, turn off that noise!
Lincoln Loud: Squidward, look out! *spins with my legs and flies towards Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: *screams*
Lincoln Loud: *hits Squidward in the face, knocking his back and lodging his clarinet in him, then bounces a little more and lands on the floor, in pain* Oh.
Squidward Tentacles: Linc…*note plays*
Lincoln Loud: Oh Squidward, you swallowed your clarinet. I'll help. *walks towards him*
Squidward Tentacles: No! *backs away* No! *note plays* Don't... *note plays* touch... *note plays* me!
A note plays and Squidward tries to hold Lincoln's arms to keep him from touching him.
Lincoln Loud: I'll get a better look. *opens Squidward's mouth wide and looks inside*
Squidward’s mouth is shown.
Lincoln Loud: Mm. It's too dark. Hold still, Squidward, this is gonna hurt. *shoves my arm on Squidward’s mouth*
Squidward Tentacles: *starts flailing my arms*
Noises start happening. The exterior of the city. A mother and her son are outside. The mother is holding her son's arm and he is shocked. The mother puts her arms around her son's ears and they walk away. Squidward and Lincoln are shown again. Lincoln is struggling to get the clarinet out.
Lincoln Loud: *gets it out* Got it! Hey, the pointy bit at the end is missing.
Squidward Tentacles: It's called a reeeee!
Lincoln Loud: What's a reeeee?
Squidward Tentacles: Great! *note plays* My clarinet... *note plays* is still... *note plays* stuck in my... *note plays* throat. *note plays, then points to Lincoln* And it's all your fault. *note plays*
Lincoln thought as Squidward's clarinet's reed continued playing.
Lincoln Loud: There's only one thing to do. We have to go see Lisa.
The scene changes to show an x-ray of Squidward's neck with the reed in it.
Sandy Cheeks: *offscreen* Hmm.
Panning to show her in her treedome looking at the x-ray.
Sandy Cheeks: Just as I thought.
Lincoln is shown next to Lisa, then next to Lori, who is next to Squidward, who is behind an x-ray machine.
Lisa Loud: You have that reed from your clarinet stuck in your throat. *lifts the x-ray machine from Squidward, who is angry* That was clumsy of you.
Lori Loud: Squidward, who did?
Squidward Tentacles: I didn't do it. It was Lincoln who... *note plays*
Sandy Cheeks: Well there's nothing to do for it now except surgery. *leads Squidward away*
Lincoln Loud: Ooh. *walks after them*
The slide transition cuts to show the six outside. They walk up a ramp that leads to a submarine that is on a platform with a laser above it. The platform is connected to a another area that has a satellite dish on it.
Lisa Loud: Now is our chance to try out my new invention– The solution to your problem.
Squidward Tentacles: A submarine? *note plays*
Lisa Loud: That's right, Squidward. Let me show you. *walks off-screen.
The scene changes to show. A laboratory with a large computer that has Squidward's general shape on it. The shape is on its side. His brain, lungs, heart, and stomach shown.
Lisa Loud: This whole lab is called the Chamber of Shrinkage.
The image of Squidward's general shape moves to the left, rotates, and Squidward is shown. A submarine is shown.
Lisa Loud: I'll shrink the sub and myself to microscopic size..
The scene zooms into the images of the submarine and then a shrink ray appears. a beam of light appears and the image of the submarine shrinks. It starts moving towards the Squidward image.
Lisa Loud: ...Then navigate through
The submarine enters the Squidward image and it becomes how it was in the original. It is shown on the brain image.
Lisa Loud: ...Your brain,
The submarine goes down Squidward's cerebral cortex and to the reed.
Lisa Loud: ...Down into your throat,
The ship does the same thing it did, but in reverse and with the reed.
Lisa Loud: ...Then extract the reed
Lisa is shown holding her hands together.
Lisa Loud: ...From inside. Simple!
Squidward Tentacles: Why don't you just shrink the reed?
Lisa Loud: *laughs* Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way!
The slide transition cuts to show Squidward in a white patient's gown sitting on a chair. Lisa is in front of him and SpongeBob is behind her.
Lisa Loud: We're all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?
Squidward Tentacles: Are you sure this is safe?
Lisa Loud: Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel.
Sandy Cheeks: Hey, what's that?
Squidward Tentacles: *looks*
Sandy Cheeks: *knocks him out with a karate chop* Hi-yah! Sweet dreams, partner. Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I'm gone. *smiles* Do you think you can handle it, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Can do, Sandy!
The slide transition cuts to show Lincoln walking back and forth in front of the submarine.
Lincoln Loud: Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-hut-hut, huttidy-hut-hut!
Leni Loud: *walks up to Lincoln* Oh, hey Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: Hello citizen.
Leni Loud: What are you doing?
Lincoln Loud: Guarding Sandy's submarine.
Leni Loud: Wow. I've never been totes in a submarine. Let's look inside.
Lincoln Loud: Can't. I'm guarding it.
Leni Loud: Oh, man! Could you guard it from the inside?
Lincoln Loud: *stops* You're right! *bows to Leni* Patrick, you're a genius!
SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star: *walks to Lincoln and Leni*
Patrick Star: Hi, Lincoln and Leni.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lincoln, Leni, this is my best friend Patrick.
Patrick Star: Hello.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Now, we have to work together as a team.
Leni Loud: What's a team?
SpongeBob SquarePants: A team as a friendship. *takes a remote with a red Button with a label that reads, "open", then presses the button*
The door to the submarine opens.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: Ooh!
The four salute.
SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty.
They laugh and jump inside.
Leni Loud: *starts pressing buttons*
Lincoln Loud: *pretends to be piloting the submarine*
Patrick Star: Hmm. *finds a yellow button with a label that reads "Shrink"* "Shrink." I do have a lot of issues. *presses the button and a warning light starts*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: Pretty.
The submarine shrinks a little, squishing SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni against the windshield.
Sandy Cheeks: *enters the room* I'm back, Lincoln Loud. *drops box of nuts* Uh-oh.
Lincoln Loud: *shrinks*
Patrick Star: *laughs while grabbing Lincoln* You're so tiny.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star and Leni Loud: *shrinks even smaller than Lincoln*
Patrick Star: A giant Lincoln!
The four shrink until they appear to look like dots. The submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the submarine.
Sandy Cheeks: *leans in*
Lisa Loud: Sandy, what happened?!
Sandy Cheeks: The submarine shrunk! *to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni* Leni! Lincoln! Patrick! SpongeBob!
Patrick Star: *screams* Sandy's grown to gigantic size!
Leni Loud: *screams* A giant squirrel!
Lincoln Loud: I don't think Sandy grew, guys. I think we shrunk.
Patrick Star: *stupidly* That's silly. Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew?
The robot hand takes the submarine and sticks it in Squidward's nose.
Sandy Cheeks: Hi, Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: *wakes up*
Sandy Cheeks: Well, the submarine is safely inside you.
Squidward Tentacles: Wonderful. *frantic* Wait! If you're out here, then who's in here? *holds head*
Lisa Loud: Well, Sandy knows that why don't you take a look for yourself? *pulls down a monitor showing the submarine inside of Squidward*
The scene zooms in to show SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni inside.
Squidward Tentacles: *screams*
Lori Loud: What's going on?
Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni... SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and... SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln... SpongeBob, Patrick… *chuckles nervously*
Sandy Cheeks: *joins in*
Squidward then screams while freaking out. He then breathes heavily and then screams.
Sandy Cheeks: You better calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn't be moving around too much. You could knock them into something important.
Squidward Tentacles: *swallows nervously and stops*
The submarine is shown inside Squidward's nose.
Lincoln Loud: *offscreen* Where are we, guys?
Leni Loud: *offscreen* I don't know, but it's totes a real dump.
Sandy Cheeks: *over speaker* SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln, Leni, can you hear me?
Lincoln Loud: It's Sandy.
SpongeBob SquarePants: It is.
Leni Loud: She's in there? *pulls out an ax* I'll save you, Sandy! *chops away at the control panel*
Sandy Cheeks: Stop it, you itty-bitty idiot!
The engine sputters and dies.
Lincoln Loud: Sandy, where are you? Where are we?
Sandy Cheeks: You're trespassing, Lincoln in my lab, in my submarine and you're trespassing
The scene shows her at the speaker and Squidward in the background.
Sandy Cheeks: ...Inside of Squidward.
The scene returns to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni who look around the area and see that Sandy's right.
Patrick Star: I thought this place was in bad shape.
SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni jolt as Squidward speaks over the speaker.
Squidward Tentacles: I heard that!
Lisa Loud: *over speaker* Let's get you out of there, Lincoln. All you need to do is locate the autopilot. It'll safely take you through your mission and then out the extraction point. *points to Squidward's butt on the computer screen*
A red light blinks there. The submarine controls explode.
Lincoln Loud: Um... we broke it.
Leni Loud: *chops at it again with the axe*
The scene returns to Squidward, Sandy, Lori and Lisa.
Lisa Loud: *angrily* Stop it! What are you trying to do? Kill him?
Squidward Tentacles: *starts sweating nervously*
Sandy Cheeks: *over the speaker* This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile, which you've never successfully done. *nervously chuckles*
The scene shows Sandy.
Sandy Cheeks: So, just take it nice and easy.
The scene shows SpongeBob and Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud: No problem.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No problemo.
Lincoln Loud: Nice and... easy! *pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can*
Leni, Lincoln, Patrick and SpongeBob are screaming as they head towards the brain, hitting Squidward's nasal cavity. The scene returns to Lisa, Lori, Sandy and Squidward.
Lori Loud: So, how's it going?
The sound of a vehicle crashing is heard.
Lincoln Loud: *reverses the submarine, but is stuck in Squidward's brain*
He successfully does so and the submarine flies backwards. They hit the side of Squidward's interior cranium and then hit Squidward's brain and this repeats for a while. Squidward's eyes become out of control.
Squidward Tentacles: I can't control my eyeballs!
Lisa Loud: Don't worry, it's temporary. Now, just sign this!
She takes out a waiver. She signs it.
Lori Loud: Okay, now what is this?
Lisa Loud: Oh, just your autograph for when you're, uh... famous.
Lori Loud: Oh, of course.
Squidward Tentacles: I've got *takes out images of me wearing a sweater and a black jacket, holding a pipe* ...head shots, you know.
The hand gets out of control and drops the pictures.
Squidward Tentacles: What the...
He hits himself in the face.
Lisa Loud: Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: *chokes myself*
He punches Sandy and Lisa, knocking their back. His hand starts freaking out.
Squidward Tentacles: What's happening?
Squidward's brain is shown. The submarine hits Squidward's brain stem repeatedly. SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni are shown fighting over the controls.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: Give me that!
Patrick Star: No, give it back!
Leni Loud: No, you give it back!
They start incomprehensibly yelling at each other.
Sandy Cheeks: They're hitting your central nervous system!
Squidward Tentacles: *touches my shoulder as the bell dings*
Then he punches himself.
Squidward Tentacles: Oh. Ya think?
Lori Loud: He's not in control of his actions, Lisa!
Lisa Loud: That's right, you're not in control of your actions!
Squidward Tentacles: *kicks Sandy and Lisa's butts*
Sandy Cheeks and Lisa Loud: Hey!
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not in control of my actions.
Sandy Cheeks and Lisa Loud: *gets mad at Squidward*
The submarine hits the brain stem, which causes the submarine to bounce off it.
SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni are shown, screaming.
The scene returns to Sandy and Squidward. Squidward is spinning in the chair.
Sandy Cheeks: They've gone off course!
Squidward is flown off course. He is then shown spazzing out as the submarine enters his stomach.
Sandy Cheeks: Oh my gosh! You're out of control!
The submarine lands in the stomach acid.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ew! Where are we?
Outside, Squidward's stomach rumbles. Inside, The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid. Other food can also be seen being dissolved. As Patrick is screaming.
Lincoln Loud: Mayday! Mayday! We're sinking! And Leni won't stop screaming!
Sandy Cheeks: The stomach acid levels are way too high!
SpongeBob SquarePants: The reserve tanks are almost empty.
Leni Loud: *grunts*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Leni!
Leni is shown using the axe to chop at the tanks.
Leni Loud: There, all finished.
Lisa Loud: Lincoln, you gotta get out of there! It's a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is!
Squidward Tentacles: *note plays*
Lisa Loud: You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. *through the speaker* Like natural gas.
Patrick comes into the scene, holding a soda.
Lincoln Loud: Natural gas?
Patrick Star: *drinks the soda* Like this! *burps*
Squidward Tentacles: Stop burping inside me! That's disgusting!
Sandy Cheeks: Wait a minute, Squidward. He might be onto something.
Squidward Tentacles: What?
Lisa Loud: If you can make a big enough burp...
Leni Loud: We can filter the CO2 through our ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shock wave out of here!
Lincoln Loud: Wow.
Lisa Loud: He's right.
Lori Loud: What?
Lisa Loud: We're going through with your plan, Patrick!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star and Lincoln Loud: Yay!
Leni Loud: What plan?
Squidward is shown drinking a bottle of soda. He puts it with several other bottles.
Lisa Loud: Now burp, Squidward! Lives are on the line!
Sandy Cheeks: Yeah! Go burp, Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: *tries to burp*
Inside, the submarine is still digesting.
Lincoln Loud: I never thought it would end this way.
Squidward Tentacles: *burps loudly*
A bubble forms below the submarine. It then engulfs the submarine. The reserve gas levels rise to maximum.
SpongeBob SquarePants: It's working!
The submarine starts up and pops through the bubble and out of the stomach.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: Whee!
Sandy Cheeks: They're headed for the esophagus, Lisa. *sniffs the air, to Squidward* Phew, what have you been eating?
Squidward Tentacles: Morons.
The submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is.
SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction.
He swims out wearing a swimsuit, floaties, goggles, and flippers.
Lisa Loud: Okay, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.
Lincoln Loud: I'm already on it.
He takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it, repeatedly.
Time card reading: "Two Hours Later"
French Narrator: Two hours later.
Lincoln Loud: Dang it. This stupid hammer won't break anything. *throws it at the reed*
The hammer bounces back and cuts Lincoln's floaties, making him bounce around.
Patrick Star: *opens the hatch, wearing goggles*
Leni Loud: Lincoln, do what you were born to do! Dance!
Lincoln Loud: You're right Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! *cuts the reed in half like a buzzsaw with the spin*
Causing Squidward to cough it up.
Lisa Loud: *over the speaker* Good work, guys. Mission accomplished.
The scene returns to her.
Lisa Loud: Now all you have to do is...
Squidward Tentacles: *pushes Lisa out of the way* Get out of my body! Go!
Leni Loud: Grow?
She presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The top left has Lisa, the top middle left has Lori, the top right has Lincoln, the bottom left has Sandy, the bottom second left has Squidward, the bottom second right has Patrick and the bottom right has SpongeBob.
Lisa, Lori, Lincoln Loud, Sandy Cheeks, Squidward Tentacles, Patrick Star and SpongeBob SquarePants: No!
The screen goes black. The scene then changes to show the exterior of the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: *offscreen* Almost ready to open.
The scene then shows him finishing up polishing a golden "No refunds" sign.
Mr. Krabs: There.
The sound of a door opening is heard.
Squidward Tentacles: Good morning, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What's gotten into you?
The scene zooms out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped body.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *inside Squidward* Reporting for Duty, Mr. Krabs.
A toilet flushing is heard.
Squidward Tentacles: *gets angry*
Lincoln Loud: *inside Squidward* Can someone let us outta here?
Leni Loud: *inside Squidward* No, Lincoln. We're stuck inside of Squidward.
Patrick Star: *inside Squidward* Squidward, the toilet's backed up again.
Screen fades in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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