Project Use Only

== Act 1 The Dream ==
* Narrator: Ah yes, Bumala, so mysterious, so beautiful. So... uhh... safe. [the camera continues going down until stopping in front of the The Blaze Café ] Our story begins in Bumala’s most popular eatery, The Blaze Café, where...
* [The camera pans down into Bumala in front of The Blaze Café.]
* Police: Back off! Back off! [waves arms to back off at reporters/citizens]
* Narrator: Hey, wait a minute. What is happening?
* [The screen pans out to show The Blaze Café is surrounded by cops.]
* Pyra: Please settle down... [referring to The Blaze Café] We've got a situation in there! I'd rather not discuss 'until the manager gets here!
* NPC: [off-screen] Look, there he is!
* [A black limousine drives up; Banjo’s leg, steps out of the vehicle when it is stopped, Banjo climbs out of the limousine. He walks toward the The Blaze Café and blows a bubble.]
* Banjo: Talk to me, Pyra
* Pyra: Oh, it started out as a simple order: a cheeseburger. When the customer took a bite, no cheese!
* Banjo: Get a hold of yourself, Pyra. I'm going in. [walks in and sees Onek, extremely nervous, looking at his cheeseburger] Take it easy, friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. [puts a briefcase down on a table] Everything's gonna be just fine.
* Onek: I'm really scared here, man....
* SpongeBob: [opens the briefcase] You got a name?
* Onek: nervously] Onek.
* Banjo: [puts on gloves] You got a family, Onek? [Onek chokes over his words, unable to speak. Banjo snaps] Come on, Onek, stay with me. Let's hear about that family.
* Onek: I got a wife and two beautiful children.
* Banjo: [puts on a headset from the briefcase] That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Onek.
* Onek: What?
* Banjo: [picks a slice of cheese out from his briefcase with some tweezers] Say "cheese." [dramatically and slowly attempts to put the cheese on the Cheeseburger. He then kicks the door open, Onek in his arms. The crowd gasps. The cheese on the cheeseburger sparkles] Order up.
* All: [but Banjo, cheer and then lift Banjo up on their shoulders] Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks] Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks] Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks]
== Act 2 Morning Routine ==
* [Honk continues from dream, the screen now shows Banjo in his bedroom. He turns off his honking foghorn alarm clock.]
** Banjo: Hooray! Cow Mallow, I had that dream again! And it's finally going to come true! [runs over to his calendar] Today! Sorry about this calendar. [tears off the calendar page for the day before to reveal "October 7." On the page, it has a picture of the The Blaze Café 2 with rainbows and hearts around it] Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Blaze Café 2, where Pyra will announce the new manager.
** Cow Mallow: Moo
** Banjo: Who's it gonna be, Cow Mallow? [chuckles to himself] Well, let's be honest it’s me because I’m big and sexy! [Banjo then leaves his home]
** Banjo: I'm ready. Promotion. [goes into the walk-in shower, eats soap, and gets his hair wet. Banjo then brushes his eyes with toothpaste and wipes off the foam] Cleanliness is next to manager-liness. [goes outside and runs around in circles] I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.
== Act 3 At Pikachu’s House ==
* [The scene is zooming to Pikachu’s house, and then cuts to Pikachu in his bathroom.]
* Pikachu: ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, la da dee, la da doo, la da dum.♪
* Pikachu and Banjo: [in unison] ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da d...♪
* Pikachu: Huh? [notices SpongeBob in the bathtub scrubbing his back]
* Banjo: ♪...ee, la da doo, la da dum, Bum Bum Bum, Da da da...♪
* Pikachu: [interrupts him, and covers himself] SpongeBob! What are you doing in here?!
* Banjo: I have to tell you something, Pikachu.
* Pikachu: Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work?
* Banjo: There's no shower at work.
* Pikachu: What do you want?!
* Banjo: I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my manager announcement speech today.
* Pikachu: [yelling] Get out! [kicks him out the window]
* Banjo: Okay. I'll see you at the ceremony.
== Act 4 Banjo Runs Into Kazooie ==
* runs into Kazooie]
* Kazooie: That sounds like the manager of the The Blaze Café 2. Congratulations, buddy.
* Banjo: Oh, thanks, Kazooie. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party till we're purple.
* Kazooie: I love bein' purple!
* Banjo: We're going to the place where all the action is.
* Kazooie: You don't mean...?
* Banjo: Oh, I mean.
* Banjo: Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat!
* They now play the Goofy Goober song and begins playing on a boombox]
* Banjo and Kazooie: ♪ "[Dancing]" Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪
* Banjo: [Notices his watch] I'd better get going! Oh by the way dis is ma golden Rolex check it. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.
* Kazooie: Good luck, SpongeBob. Hey, look for me at the ceremony. I got a little surprise for you. ♪I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah.♪ [Bounces away]
== Act 5 Pyra Interview ==
* [The scene cuts to a large crowd gathered in front of The Blaze Café. Piranha Plant is on TV with his microphone, reporting]
* Piranha Plant: Hello, fellow citizens of Bumala City! News Anchor Piranha Plant here, comin' to ya live from in front of The Blaze Café restaurant, for years the only place to get a delicious and mouthwatering choices of food. Until today, that is. That's right, folks. Longtime owner Pyra is opening a new restaurant called The Blaze Café 2. [the crowd applauds] First of all, congratulations, Pyra. [Pyra has a big grin on her face]
* Pyra: Hello. I like bunnies
* Piranha Plant: What inspired you to build a second Blaze Café right next door to the original?
* Pyra: Pikachu
== Act 6 Sky’s Jealousy ==
* Sky: ! It's not fair! Pyra is being interviewed by Piranha Plant, and I've never even had one customer! [the word "customer" is heard echoing in the kitchen. Sky groans and moans while sweating]
* Tricky: Don't get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors.
* Sky: Oh, Tricky, my pet, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Pyra's success, the formula for her whole menu. Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant! [Sky walks to her back room of the restaurant]
** SKY: Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet...from A to Y.
** Tricky: A to Y?
** Sky: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
** Sky: What about Z?
** Sky: Z?!
** Tricky: Z. The letter after Y.
** Sky: [Searches through cabinet] W, X, Y, Z. [Grabs Plan Z] Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
** Tricky: [rolls her eyes] Oh, shit.
** Sky: [Looks at Plan Z] Oh! Oh! Ohhh! It's evil. It's long. [Sniffs it] It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail!
*** Sky: [Goes outside] So enjoy today, Pyra, because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula. Then everyone will eat at the Sky’s Cool Restaurant, and I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank...! [Banjo runs by and unknowingly pushes her and he screams] Ow!
*** Banjo: I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion!
*** Banjo: [Stops running] Eww, I think I stepped in something. [Tries to scrape Plankton off. Plankton yelps when SpongeBob tries to scrape him off]
*** Sky: [muffled] Not in something, on someone, you twit!
*** Banjo: Oh. Sorry, Plankton. [Looks at smeared Plankton and pulls him off his shoe] Are you on your way to the grand-opening ceremony?
*** Sky: No, I am not on my way over [mocks Banjo] to the grand-opening ceremony. [Jumps four times] I'm busy planning to rule the world! [Chuckles]
*** Banjo: Well, good luck with that. [Runs off] I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion...
*** Sky: [looks at the viewers] Stupid kid. [walks back to Sky’s Cool Restaurant]
== Act 7 The Manager Announcement ==
* [Later, Pyra is at a stand in front of the The Blaze Café 2. The crowd is still gathered there, seated]
* Pyra: Welcome. Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of The Blaze Café 2. [The crowd applauds]
* Incineroar: [Angry] We paid $9 for this?
* Kirby: [Also angry] And I paid 10!
* Pyra: Now, before we begin with the ribbon-cuttin', I'd like to announce the name of our new manager. [The crowd applauds again]
* Banjo: [applauding wildly] Yay! Yeah! Ow! Ow, ow! Yeah! Now we're talking! Yeah! Ow! [leans towards Pikachu and shushes him] Shh!
* Pyra: Yes. Well, anyway, the new manager is a loyal, hard-working employee.
* Banjo : [Thinking] Yes.
* Pyra: The obvious choice for the job.
* Banjo: [Thinking] He's right.
* Pyra: A name you all know. It starts with an P.
* Banjo: [Thinking] That's me.
* Pyra: Please welcome our new manager... Pikachu! [A banner falls with Pikachu’s face on it. The crowd began to cheer and clap, but SpongeBob thinks Pyra said his name.]
* Banjo: [excitedly] Yes! Yeah! [Dances around then he shakes Pikachu’s hand] Oh, better luck next time, buddy. Whoo! [Cheers as he runs to the stage] Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! All right! Whoo! [Grabs the microphone] People of Bumala, as the manager of...
* Pyra: Uh, Banjo.
* Banjo: Hold the phone, folks, I'm getting an important news flash from Pyra. Go ahead, Mrs. P.
* Pyra: [Whispers into Banjo’s ear]
* Banjo: I'm making a complete what of myself? [Microphone echoes as he says this]
* Pyra: [Whispers again]
* Pyra: The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen? [Microphone echoes again]
* Pyra: [Whispers a third time]
* Pyra: And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone? [Microphone echoes one final time]
* Pyra: Sorry, Banjo, you didn’t get the job
* Banjo: What?
* Pyra: You didn’t get the job.
* Banjo: But... but why?
* Pyra: Banjo, you may have begged a lot to join my restaurant, but I gave the job to Pikachu because bein' manager is a big responsibility.
* Banjo: I'm not... mature?
* Pyra: Banjo, I mean this in the nicest of ways possible, but there's a word for what you are, and that word is... now, let's see...
* Link: Dork?
* Pyra: No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork.
* NPC: A retard?
* Pyra: no, no, no.
* NPC: A ding-a-ling.
* NPC: Wing nut.
* NPC: A Knucklehead McSpazatron!
* Pyra: Guys, tone it down a bit, [SpongeBob] Look, what I'm trying to say is, you're just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a veteran of the staff. Otherwise they'd probably shut my business down." you understand?
* Banjo: I guess so, Pyra.
* [Banjo walks away]
* Pyra: Banjo?
* Banjo: [Depressed] I'm ready. Depression. I'm ready. Depression.
* Pyra: I wish I could do something [Pyra gets sad]
** Kazooie: appears flying on a banner, naked with “Banjo" flag in her butt]
** Kazooie: Hooray for! Banjo! Hooray for Banjo!
** [Kazooie accidentally hits the stage, which sets on fire. Everyone, except for Kazooie, runs away]
** Kazooie: Let's hear it for Banjo! Hello? Where'd everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?
== Act 8 The Castle Of King Octaman ==
* Narrator: Later that evening...
* [Later that evening, Sky is walking [She stops in front of a giant castle]
* Sky: Time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting at the castle of King Octaman. Hehehehe...
* [Octaman is sitting in his throne by his daughter Inkling tooboom, who is sitting in another throne. Octaman hits the squire on the head with his trident]
* Squire: Oh, right. [clears throat] The royal court is now in session. Bring the prisoner forward. [Guards bring a small prisoner fish shaking nervously]
* King Octaman: So, you have confessed to the crime of touching the king's crown?
* Prisoner: Yes, but...
* King Octaman: [angrily] But what?!
* Prisoner: But it's my job, Your Highness. I'm the royal crown polisher.
* King Octaman: Well, then I guess I can't execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is.
* Inkling: Dad! [Frees the crown polisher] You're free to go.
* Crown Polisher: Bless you, Inkling. [runs away]
* King Octaman: Inkling! How dare you defy me!
* Inkling: Why do you have to be so mean?
* King Octaman: I am the king! I must enforce the laws of Bumala.
* Inkling: Father, I wish you'd try a little love and compassion instead of these harsh punishments.
* Squire: That would be nice. [Neptune hits him on the head with his trident]
* King Octaman: Squire. Clear the room! I wish to speak to my daughter alone. [Everyone except Octaman and Inkling leave. Neptune then shows Inkling his crown] What is this, Inkling?
* Inkling: Your crown?
* King Octaman: And what does this crown do?
* Inkling: Covers your bald spot.
* King Octaman: It's not bald! It's... thinning. This crown does much more than cover a slightly receding hairline. [Puts the crown on a pillow on a stool. While his back is turned, Sky peeks out from behind the crown, snickering evilly] No, this crown entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of the sea. One day, you will wear this crown.
* Inkling: [Alarmed] I'm gonna be bald?!
* King Octaman: Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it until you learn how to rule with an iron fist. Like your father. [He reaches for his crown, but puts the pillow on his head instead.]
* Inkling: Uhhh... Dad, your "crown"...
* King Octaman: What the...? [Discovers that his crown is missing] My crown! [screams]Someone has stolen the royal crown!
* Sky: [We see her leaving the castle with the crown] I got it! I got it! [She flies past Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat]
== Act 9 At The Goofy Goober Bar ==
* which we get a view of inside. The bar is filled with people eating ice cream. Suddenly, a Goofy Goober Clock speaks]
* Goofy Goober Clock: Hey, all you Goobers, it's time to say howdy to your favorite silly dragon, Goofy Goober! [The kids cheer]
* Kids: Howdy, Goofy Goober!
* Goofy Goober: Hey, fellow Goofy Goobers. Time to sing! ♪Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah...♪
* Goofy Goober and Kids: ♪Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪ [Cheering]
** We then see Banjo sobbing at the Nut Bar]
** Banjo: All right. Get it together, old boy. I know. I'll just stop thinking about it. [He stares at nothing] Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. I don't even remember why I was sad.
** [Kazooie walks up to him]
** Kazooie: Hey, it's the new Blaze Café 2 manager! [Banjo starts crying again]
** Kazooie Wow, the pressure’s already setting in.
** Banjo: No, Kazooie, you don't understand. I didn't get the promotion.
** Kazooie: What? Why?
** Banjo: Pyra thinks I'm a... kid.
** Kazooie: [slapping her forehead] What? That's insane!
** Banjo: I know...
** Kazooie: Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'm a kid! [Waiter walks up to him handing him a Goober Meal]
** Waiter: Here's your Goober Meal, sir.
** Kazooie: I'm supposed to get a toy with this. [Waiter throws an Inside Out toy at his face] Thanks.
** Banjo: [sighs] I'm gonna head home, Kazooie. The celebration's off.
** Kazooie: Are you sure?
** Banjo: Yeah. I'm not in a Goober mood. [he starts to walk away]
*** Waiter: [hands Patrick a Triple Gooberberry Sunrise] And here's your Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, sir. [SpongeBob starts to walk back to Patrick]
*** Kazooie: Yum!
*** Banjo: A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.
*** Kazooie: [He pats Kazooie on the back] Now you're talking. Hey, waiter, we need another one over here.
*** Waiter: [Handing SpongeBob one] There you go.
*** Banjo: [Admiring it] Ooh!
*** [Banjo and Kazooie gleefully eat rapidly and get ice cream on the waiter, both of them burping after they are done]
*** Banjo: Boy, Kazooie, that hit the spot. I'm feeling better already.
*** Kazooie: Yeah!
*** Banjo: Waiter, let's get another round over here. [then the waiter gives them two more. They eat them and get more ice cream on the waiter] Oh, Mr. Waiter! Two more, please! [Then the waiter gives them two more]
*** Both: Whoo! [they eat the sundaes and get even more ice cream on the waiter]
*** Banjo: Waiter. [Then they eat two more. By this time, the waiter is covered in ice cream. We see Kazooie finishing her ice cream] Oh, waiter. [singsong] Waiter. [slurring]Wait-or! [yelling angrily and pounding on the table. ] Waiter!
*** Waiter: [puts a scoop of ice cream on a sundae] Why do I always get the nuts?
**** Banjo: [Up on stage holding a lollipop microphone] All right, folks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whole world: [We see Kazooie and the Goofy Goober Dragon up on stage, too] Kazooie and this big penis guy. It's a little ditty called...
**** Both: Waiter!
**** [All three faint. The next morning, Banjo wakes up to find the waiter trying to get him up]
**** Waiter: [To Banjo] Hey. Hey, get up. Hey, come on, buddy. I wanna go home. Come on, pal.
**** Banjo: [After recovering] Oh, my head. [He looks drunk]
**** Waiter: Listen to me. It's 8 in the morning. Go scrape up your friend and get goin'.
**** Banjo: My... [burp] friend? [Sees Kazooie lying on the floor. He looks drunk, too] Kazooie! Hey, what's up, buddy? [Then realizes something] Wait, you said 8:00. I'm late for work! Pyra is gonna be... [disgustedly] ...Pyra.
== Act 10 King Octaman Confronts Pyra ==
* [At The Blaze Cafe 2, Pyra is pinning the manager pin on Pikachu's chest. 
* Pyra: Now, pay attention, Pikachu. As the new manager, you've gotta keep a sharp eye out for customers.
* Pikachu: Yawn.
* Pyra: What's this? King Octaman is riding toward my own restaurant at lunchtime!
* [Outside, King Octaman gets out of his car and closes the door on Inkling]
* King Octaman: Stay in the car, daughter. [Gets out of the car] This won't take long.
* Inkling: Dad, please. I think you're overreacting.
* King Octaman: Silence, Inkling! I know what I'm doing. [Turns around to leave, but bumps into The Blaze Cafe sign pole] Ow! Squire! [The Squire, who was with them in the coach, pops onto the scene]
* Squire: Yes, Your Highness?
* King Octaman: Have this pole executed at once.
* [Cut back to inside The Blaze Cafe 2. Mr. Krabs is changing the price of several foods]
* Pikachu: A fucking dollar for a deluxe size burrito?
* Pyra: What's wrong Pikachu, I don't Like when your mean. [Pyra frowns]
* [Trumpet plays. Octaman comes into The Blaze Cafe]
* King Octaman: [To the customers] Greeting, subjects. I seek the one known as Pyra. May she present herself to me at once.
* Pyra: I'm Pyra, Your Highness. Would you like to order something?
* King Octaman: [lightning flashes] [screams] No! I'm on to you, Pyra! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny! For, clever as you are, you left one damn piece of evidence at the scene of the crime! [Holds up a piece of paper and shows it to Pyra]
* Pyra: "I stole your crown. Signed, Pyra"?! [Frowns heavily]
* King Octaman: Hand over the royal crown to me at once!
* Pyra: But... But this is crazy! I didn't do it.
* [suddenly a phone goes off]
* AI person on the phone: [Sky begins impersonating a voice over the phone] Hi, Pyra. This is Clay, the guy you sold Octaman's crown to. Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' me the crown. Octaman's crown. [King Octaman gets furious, so Pyra tries to stop the phone by hanging it up, but it continues to play because of an air bubble inside] I sold it to a guy in Animal City, and I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' me the crown. Octaman's crown. [King Octaman gets even more furious as Pyra unsuccessfully tries to stop the phone holds the button down until it fully shuts off, but the phone still works for a brief moment] Which is now in Animal City. Goodbye.
* Pyra: but, but please this is a misunderstanding that voice was most likely an ai! 
* King Octaman: [Angrily] My crown is in the forbidden Animal City?! [screams]
* [Outside, we see that Sky is behind it, holding the phone]
* Sky: Plan Z. I love Plan Z.
* King Octaman: [Continues screaming] Prepare to burn, you red head chick!
* Pyra: [sobbing] Wait, Octaman! Please, I'm beggin' you! I never committed theft! Ask anyone, they'll believe me!
* King Octaman: Very well, then. Before I turn this useless chick into a burnt sword, who here has anything to say about her?
* Banjo: [is burping around and looking all drunk] I've got something to say about .... [burps] Pyra!
* Pyra: Banjo!, you've come just in time. Please, tell King Octaman all about me.
* Banjo: I have worked for Pyra for... [burps] ...a few days and always thought she was a great boss!
* Pyra: You see? A great boss.
* Banjo: [off-screen] I now realize that she's a great... big... jerk! [Pyra turns to Banjo] I deserved that manager's job! [grabs Pyra] But you didn't give it to me, 'cause you say I'm a... kid. Well, I am 100%... man! And this... man... has got something to say to you. [takes a deep breath and blows a long raspberry] There, I think I made my point. [Pyra's pupils turn to King Octaman]
* King Octaman: Anyone else? No? Well, then. [Fires at Pyra but she dodges it.]
* Banjo: Huh?
* King Neptune: And now, Pyra...... you will die!
* Banjo: Wait!
* King Octaman: Nahhh!
* Banjo: I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Pyra over.
* King Octman: Quiet, fool! Pyra stole my crown, and now it's in Animal City. That's why she must die.
* Banjo: Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
* King Octaman: You don't understand. My crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.
* Banjo: Oh, Your Highness, I'm sure it's not that noticeable... [King Banjo removes his paper bag covering the top of his head, revealing a huge bald spot that shines] Bald! Bald!
* All: Bald! Bald! Bald!
* Link: [his eyes are ablaze from the shininess of Neptune's head] My eyes!
* King Octaman: [places the paper bag back on his head] All right, all right.
* Banjo: King Octaman, sir? Would you spare Pyra's life if I went to get your crown back?
* King Octaman: [stretches his eyes out] You, go to Animal City? [laughs while stretching his eyes out again] No one who's gone to Animal City has ever returned. What makes you think you could? You're just a kid. [throws Banjo to the floor]
* Banjo: But I'm not a kid, I can do it.
* King Octaman: Run along. I have a blade to cook. [lights his trident]
* Pyra: No please! [Banjo gets in the way]
* Banjo: No! I won't let you!
* King Octaman: [Sighs] Very well, then. I'll have to fry you both.
* Inkling: [runs to The Blaze Cafe] Dad, stop it! Can't you get through one day without executing someone!?
* King Octaman: Inkling tooboom?! I told you to stay in the car!
* Inkling: Where's your love and compassion? Look at Banjo He's willing to risk his life to find your crown and save his boss.
* King Octaman: But, daughter, I...
* Inkling: Please, Father, at least let him try... What have you got to lose? Might I remind you of your... special problem?
* [She removes the paper bag, once again revealing the shiny bald spot]
* All: Bald! Bald! Bald!
* Link: [offscreen] My eyes!
* King Octaman: [places the paper bag back on his head] All right. Very well, Inkling. I'll give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this chick all over the walls!
* Pyra: Huh?!
* King Octaman: And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactly ten days. [Kazooie pops up]
* Kazooie: He can do it in nine!
* King Octaman: Eight!
* Kazooie: Seven!
* King Octaman: Six!
* Banjo: Kazooie! [tackle her]
* King Octaman: Six it is, then.
* Kazooie: [Being choked by Banjo] Fi--ve.
* Banjo: Kazooie, shut up!
* King Octaman: Until then, the animal lover shall remain frozen where she now stands! [He points his trident at Pyra]
* Pyra: No, wait please, I'm begging you! [King Octaman freezes her]
* Pikachu: Who turned on the AC? [gasps] Pyra! Oh, no, this is terrible! Who's gonna sign my paycheck?
* King Octaman: Come along, Inkling.
* Inkling: Listen, you guys, the road to Animal City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers and monsters everywhere! And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops [she imitates the Cyclops stomping] who guards the outskirts of the city and preys on innocent animals! Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again!
* [WHILE INKLING IS EXPLAINING BANJO IS SCARED BUT KAZOOIE IS INFURIATED]
* Kazooie: She's purty, Banjo.
* Inkling: Here, take this.
* Banjo: What's in here? [OPENS A BAG AND WIND IS BLOWN IN HIS FACE]
* Inkling: It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.
* Kazooie: [TO INKLING] You're hot.
* Inkling: Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds and you'll be blown back home.
* King Octaman: [from outside] Inkling!
* Inkling: I'm coming! Good luck, Banjo.
* Banjo: Wait! How did you know my name?
* Inkling: Oh, I'm gonna be queen of Bumala one day. I've learned the names of all lot citizens in Bumala.
* Kazooie: erm.... What's my name?
* Inkling: That's easy. You're Kazooie the red crested breegul. [KAZOOIE CHEEKS TURN RED AND BLUSHES SHYLY FROM HEAD TO TOE]
* King Octaman: Inkling!
* Inkling: I gotta go. I believe in you guys.
* Banjo: Thanks, Inkling. [to Pyra] Don't worry, Pyra. Kazooie, Pikachu, and I...
* Pikachu: Pass. [He walks out the door.]
* Banjo: Kazooie and I... [Kazooie interrupts]
* Kazooie: Hi.
* Banjo: [Continues] ...are gonna get that crown back and save you from Octaman's wrath. You've got nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands. [Pyra turns his eyes and looks at them. They are drooling, and look very stupid. Pyra moans out of sadness] Kazooie, let's go get that crown.
== Act 11 The Camper ==
* Banjo: Feast your eyes, Kazooie.
* Kazooie: What is it?
* Banjo: The camper. Pyra uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features. a Mette finish, steel seat belts, cyan leather interior. And under the hood, a fuel-sexy looking v8 engine.
* Kazooie: Wow.
* Banjo: Yeah. Wow.
* Kazooie: Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's license.
* Banjo: Who gives a shit, fuck the law
* [They start the engine, and drive off] Banjo and Kazooie: Animal; City, here we come!
== Act 12 Sky steals Pyra's formula ==
* [Later, Sky enters The Blaze Cafe, looking satisfied with herself. Pyra is still there, frozen]
* Sky: Ding-a-ling! Hey there, old buddy. [Sarcastically] Freeze. [laughs] One secret formula to go, please. No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll get it. [goes into the kitchen and walks out with the bottle with the Formula inside it] Well, I'd like to hang around, but I've got your own menu to make... over at Sky's Cool Restaurant. Plan Z, I love ya! [Pyra's tears fall to the ground as Sky leaves, as she realizes that she was set up]
== Act 13 The Car Jack ==
* [The next scene cuts to Banjo and Kazooie riding to a nearby gas station in the camper]
* Banjo and Kazooie: ♪Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪
* [They stop at a gas station right before the county line. Past the county line, Banjo honks his horn to wake up the two hick gas station attendants, Floyd and Lloyd.]
* Banjo: Fill 'er up, please.
* Floyd: What'll it be, fellas? bird eggs... er honeycombs?! [Floyd and Lloyd slap their knees and crack up as banjo music plays, rocking in their chairs.]
* Kazooie: Are they laughing at us?
* Banjo: No, Kazooie. They're laughing next to us.
* [Floyd and Lloyd continue to laugh as they advance towards the camper. Then, Lloyd bends down and Floyd uses him for support.]
* Floyd: Where you two dumb kids headed, anyway?
* Kazooie: Kids?!
* Banjo: Now, Kazooie. For your information, we are not kids. We are men. And we're off to get King Octaman's crown in Animal City.
* Floyd and Lloyd: Animal City?!
* Lloyd: Ain't that the place that's guarded by a killer Cyclops?
* Banjo: That's right.
* Floyd: Lloyd, take off your hat in respect. Respect for the dead!
* [The two "nyuk" and slap their knees again.]
* Floyd: You two dipsticks ain't gonna last 10 seconds over the county line!
* Banjo: Oh, yeah? We'll see about that. [He and Kazooie get back into the camper and pass the county line. A boat jacker stops them]
* Boat jacker: Out of the car, fellas. [Banjo and Kazooie obey and the boat jacker drives off in the camper]
* Banjo: How many seconds was that?
* Lloyd: [checks his watch] Twelve.
* Banjo and Kazooie: In your face!
* [Banjo and Kazooie slap their knees and laugh like Lloyd and Floyd, who don't seem to care. Kazooie makes a loud noise with an airhorn.]
* Banjo: That's what I'm talking about. Yeah!
* Kazooie: Who's the kid now?
* [Banjo runs around Kazooie and flap her wings as Kazooie continues to honk the airhorn.]
* Floyd: They're dead.
== Act 14 Sky Interview ==
* [The scene changes to a crowd entering Sky's Cool Restaurant back in Bumala. Piranha Plant is in front, once again reporting on TV]
* Piranha Plant: Piranha Plant here with an incredible news flash. Sky is selling The Blaze Cafe's exact menu at Sky's Cool Resturant. How is this possible? Let's find out. [He goes inside]
* [Inside, Sky is watching her new customers]
* Sky: Step right up. Plenty for everybody.
* Piranha Plant: Excuse me, Sky. Piranha Plant, Bumala News. Can I get a minute?
* Sky: Anything for you, Mr. Plant.
* Piranha Plant: All of Bumala wants to know, how did you get the same food Pyra sells?
* Sky: Well, Pirahna Plant, before my dear friend Pyra was frozen by King Octaman... [voice breaking] I'm sorry... she told me a secret wish... "Sell the Blaze Cafe Menu in my absence at Sky's Cool Resturant," she said... "Don't let the flame die out." [sobs] By the way, act now and you get a free Sky's Cool Restaurant bucket helmet with every purchase. Here you go, Pirahna Plant. [She plants a bucket helmet on his head]
* Perch Perkins: Thanks.
* Sky: Bucket helmets for everyone!
* Man: [happily] My helmet!
** [Sky enters her lab, where Tricky is]
** Sky: Tricky, my beloved, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my pet.
** Tricky: I never agreed!
** Sky: Evil Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now!
** Tricky: Nothing except Banjo and his red freind. it seems that they're going after the crown. If they make it back, Octaman might discover some of your fingerprints. [Sky looks at her hands]
** Sky: Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, Tricky. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, cold-blooded predator!
== Act 15 The Hitman ==
* [Miles away, we see a hitman wearing sunglasses traveling on his motorcycle down the road. First, we see the front, then his license plate, which reads "I Kill U", and then his boot, which reads "Your Head Here"]
* Dennis: [takes off sunglasses in another one] Sesame seed....
* Floyd: Hey, mister, does that hat take ten gallons?
* [The gas station attendants smack their knees and laugh more. Dennis, very annoyed, stomps up to them and tears their lips off. The hillbillies looks at each other as Dennis drives away.]
== Act 16 The Thug Bar ==
* [Meanwhile, an exhausted Banjo and Kazooie walk down the road, sweaty and tired, but still cheering. Kazooie's airhorn stops working and she tosses it behind her.]
* Kazooie: Going on...
* Banjo: Yeah... Moving on...
* Kazooie: Just keep going...
* Kazooie: Yup...
* Kazooie: Gonna get that crown...
* Banjo: Whoo... All right...
* Kazooie: Oh, yeah....All right....
* Banjo: Yeah....Victory....
* Kazooie: Are we there yet?
* Banjo: We must be close by now. Kazooie, look. [He points to a billboard and reads it.] We're doing great! Animal City's only five days away! [A leaf blocking part of the sign comes off, revealing 2 more words]
* Kazooie: By car.
* Banjo: I wish we still had our car.
* Kazooie: Banjo, look! Our car!
* [We see the camper in front of a beat-up bar. Banjo and Kazooie are about ready to get in the camper, but Banjo notices that the key is missing]
* Banjo: The key!
* Kazooie: Where do you think it is?
* [A person is kicked through one of the Thug bar windows and lands next to Banjo and Kazooie, with many broken bones. His leg twitches
** The two look through the broken window, and see thugs fighting, becoming drunk, and playing pool. The inside is a disaster. Everything is cracked or splintered, and the dim lights make everything look red. "R.I.P." is written in spray paint on a wall with a dead or knocked out person below it. They see the boat jacker playing pool with the key hooked onto his belt.]
** Banjo: There it is, Kazooie. The key! Now, how are we gonna get it?
** Kazooie: I know. Walk in and ask him for it.
** Thug: [From inside.] What are you looking at?! [Banjo hears the punching sounds and pained cries inside]
** Kazooie: Patrick, that's a terrible idea.
** Kazooie: [Downcast and realizing Banjo's point] Sorry.
** Banjo: I know. I'll go in and create a distraction, and you get the key.
** Kazooie: [Becomes enthusiastic] Ooh! Ooh! Wait, I wanna do the distraction!
** Kazooie: Okay... I guess it really doesn't matter who does the distraction.
** [Kazooie puffs out his chest as he bursts through the swinging doors, while Banjo crawls underneath them. Kazooie clears her throat.]
** Thug in background: You see me walkin' back?!
** Kazooie: Ahem! Can I have everybody's attention? [Everyone clusters around Patrick with angry expressions, ready for a fight.] I have to use the bathroom.
** Boat jacker: [confusingly] It's, uh... right over there. [He points behind him and notices Banjo reaching for his key. Banjo looks up at him for a second before scuffing around on the ground, searching for something.]
** Banjo: Stupid contacts. [He holds up an imaginary contact.] Oh, there it is. I better go wash it off. [Runs away]
** [Inside the restroom, Kazooie is going to the bathroom. He finishes as Banjo comes in]
** Banjo: [Angry] Patrick! You call that a distraction?
** Kazooie: [Jolts up. He flushes the toilet. Turns to Banjo after realizing his error] Well, I had to go to the bathroom.
** Banjo: Well, I got my hands dirty for nothin'. [He pumps the soap dispenser, and the top is pushed off by pressure from bubbles forming inside of it.] Kazooie, check it out! [He pumps more.]
** Kazooie: Wow!
** Both: Hooray! Bubble party! [Bubbles float all around the bathroom and ragtime music plays as Banjo and Kazooie laugh and dance with bubbles. Banjo lays on his side and balances one on his foot. Kazooie balances one on her head. Banjo lays on his side and balances one on his foot. Then, Kazooie juggles them, as Banjo gives her another one to juggle. But one bubble drifts out the door and into the pub. Reshiram, the bartender, sees it.]
** Reshiram: Hey! Who blew this bubble?! [Victor punches it, and it pops.] You all know the rules!
** Everybody in the main area of the Thug Tug: [In unison] All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.
** One Patron: [lagging behind] ...bar.
** Reshiram: That's right! So who blew it?!
** [Banjo and Kazooie frantically pop all of the bubbles]
** Reshiram: So... nobody knows?
** Tough Guy #1: Maybe it was...
** Reshiram: Shut up! [Throws a glass cup at him knocking him out] Somebody in here ain't a real man. [Banjo and Kazooie attempt to sneak out, but Victor sees them.] You! We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed 'em out. Now, everybody line up! [Banjo, Kazooie, and the thugs all fall in line] DJ! Time for the test. [The DJ gives a thumbs-up to Victor and plays a CD.] No baby can resist singing along to this. [The Goofy Goober theme song plays]
** Kazooie: [Nervously] Banjo, it's the Goofy Goober theme song.
** Banjo: [In a raspy voice] I know! [Banjo and Kazooie try to resist to sing along]
** Goofy Goober: [On record] ♪Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah. Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah!♪
** [As the song goes on, Victor walks down the line to see the patron's responses to the songs.]
** Reshiram #2: [coughs]
** Reshiram: [Points at Tough guy angrily] It was you! You're the baby!
** Tough Guy #2: No, no! I only coughed, I swear! [Victor points with two fingers from his eyes to the thug's to show that he's watching him. Then, he walks on. Tough Guy #2 sighs in relief.]
** Reshiram: DJ! Turn it up louder!
** Banjo: [trying not to sing] Don't sing along, Kazooie!
** Kazooie: I'm trying. Trying so hard. [Victor notices them struggle and starts singing mockingly]
** Victor: ♪I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah! You're a Goofy Goober, yeah! We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah!♪
** [Victor watches as Banjo and Kazooie can't take it anymore and open their mouths to sing when...]
** Siamese Twins: ♪Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!♪ [disc scratch and the song stops]
** Reshiram: [laughs.] Well, well, well. Which one of you babies was it?!
** Siamese Twins: [Nervously; look at and point at the other] It was him! Uh, he did it. I've never even eaten at... ♪Goofy, goofy, goober, goobers, yeah!♪ [They cover each other's mouths after realizing their words.]
** Reshiram: Well, looks like we got ourselves a double baby! [The thugs surround the twins, crack their knuckles, and lunge at them in unison. Banjo and Kazooie escape the Thug Bar.]
** Banjo: Man, that was a close call.
** Kazooie: Guess what I got? [Pulls out the key]
** Banjo: The key! Shh...
== Act 17 All Hail Sky ==
* Pikachu: Too bad Banjo's not here and to enjoy Banjo not being here. [He laughs to himself and closes the window of his house. goes outside., comes out to get in his car. He drives down the road and past a person wearing a Sky's Cool Resturant.]
* NPC: Morning. [Pikachu notices he is wearing a Sky's Cool Resturant helmet]
* Pikachu: Some motherfuckers have no taste in headgear. [He stops at an intersection, and glances at a husband and wife with their baby in a stroller, showing it to another person, who shakes a rattle at the giggling baby. All have helmets on.] Huh? Babies too? [He rides up to another person driving in his car.] Excuse me, sir, but where is everybody getting that horrid headwear?
* NPC: Oh! Well, I got it at Sky's Cool Restaurant. Sky's giving them away free with every order.
* Pikachu: Sky's Cool Restaurant? Free... food?... Sky... giving... with...?!
* [Sky's Cool Restaurant, Sky is enjoying her day and watching her customers. Pikachu bursts in]
* Pikachu: So, you're selling Pyra's food, eh, Sky?
* Sky: That's right, Pikachu. [Pulls out a helmet] And there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?
* Pikachu: No! You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this mistake of a town, but you can't fool me! I listen to public radio.
* Sky: da fuck is that supposed to mean?
* Pikachu: It means you set up Pyra. You stole the crown so Octaman would freeze her and you could finally get your stupid little hands on the The Blaze Cafe Menu formula. [Sky looks at her hands] It was you all along! But you made one fatal mistake. You fucked with my paycheck. And I'm going to report you to the one of the highest authorities in the land....King Octaman!
* Sky: We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips! [laughs and presses a button on Tricky]
* Ai: Now activating helmet brain-control devices.
* Pikachu: Huh? [A satellite goes up on Sky's Cool Restaurant. An antenna rises out of each customer's bucket helmet, which covers every customer's head, one by one] What!? [Soon, they all stand up, as they all speak in a drone.]
* Slaves: All hail Sky.
* Pikachu: [Eyes widened] What's goin' on here?
* Slaves: All hail Sky.
* Sky: Seize him, slaves!
* Slaves: All hail Sky.
* Pikachu: Ah! I'm gettin' out of here! [Runs for the door, to get to his car but more slaves burst in and corner him]
* Slaves: All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton.
* [Squidward, cornered, screams in horror as Sky's slaves capture him]
* Sky: [laughs evilly] Who can stop me now? Who?!
== Act 18 The Fake Ice Cream ==
* Meanwhile, Banjo and Kazooie are still traveling in the camper. They are laughing at Kazooie imitating Reshiram]
* Banjo: Come on, Pat, one more time.
* Kazooie: Okay. [Imitates Reshiram] We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed 'em out. [Banjo and Kazooie Laugh]
* Banjo: lol "Weed 'em out."
* Kazooie: What a jerk. [They drive along a pile of skulls]
* Banjo: Whoa! The road's getting kinda bumpy here.
* Kazooie: You know, Banjo, there's a lesson to be learned from all of this.
* Banjo: What's that, Kazooie?
* Kazooie: A bubble-blowing double baby doesn't belong out here in man's country.
* Banjo: Yeah. [Then realizes something] Wait. We blew that bubble. Doesn't that make us a bubble-blowing double baby? [Both think about this until Kazooie spots a free ice cream stand and sign]
* Kazooie: Hey, look! Free ice cream!
** Banjo: Whee! Oh, boy! [heads to the stand, oblivious to the piles of skulls surrounding him]
** Kazooie: [Talks to a skull] How you doin'? [Kazooie looks at her surroundings and looks worried] Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Banjo!
** Banjo: Yeah?
** Kazooie: Make mine a chocolate!
** Banjo: Got ya covered. [To the old woman] Two, please.
** Old Woman: Certainly. [she takes out a fake ice cream] You kids enjoy.
** Banjo: Actually, we're men, lady, but thanks. [Grabs bowl] Okay, Kazooie, let's... [His hand is stuck on the bowl, which the old woman is still holding] Uh, you can let go now. I said, let go, please. [the bowl sticks to his hands like glue] Ugh! Ugh! What is this?
** What kind of old lady are you!? [The hair and eyeglasses fall off] 
** Ew! [Sharp teeth come out from the ground. and Banjo screams. Then an eye comes out from the ground and looks at Banjo. Banjo screams a second time. 
** A Trex comes out of the ground, revealing that the old woman was its purple tongue. Banjo screams a third time. 
** Kazooie looks at the Trex from the rear-view mirror.
** Kazooie: Wow.
**
** When the Trex is about to eat Banjo, he screams a fourth time and he bites the arm off of the fake lady and falls down as Kazooie pulls the camper into reverse to catch him]
**
** Kazooie: [Oblivious] Did you get the ice cream? [Trex roars. Banjo and Kazooie stare in fear]
** Banjo: [Scared] Step on it, Kazooie! [Kazooie drives the camper at top speed away from the pursuing Trex, as she and Banjo scream
***
*** Scar: [He arrives at The Thug Bar, and notices soap on Banjos footprint. He unmasks himself] Hmm... [He blows the soap, forming a bubble. Images of Banjo and Kazooie giggling appear in it. Suddenly, all of the thugs appear]
***
*** Rishiram: Hey! [Scar turns around] You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a rule around here about blowing bubbles. [Snaps his fingers and all of the thugs say the rule]
*** All Thugs: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by--
***
*** [Scar, clearly having no time for this, punches Reshiram, the latter screams and flies into the Thug Bar.]
***
*** All Thugs: ...every... able-bodied... patron... in the... bar... [Reshiram crashlands into the Thug Bar. The Tug tilts back and quickly sinks off Scar drives away as the Thugs watch in confusion.]
***
*** [Cut back to Banjo and Kazooie still fleeing from the Trex]
**** Old Woman: Come on, kiddies, have some ice cream. [Banjo and Kazooie scream] I'll let you pet Mr. Whiskers! [A sticky and veiny cat on the Trex's tongue is shown]
****
**** Mr. Whiskers: Meow....
****
**** Banjo: [He and Kazooie scream at the cat] Jump for it, Kazooie! [They jump out of the camper, the trex and camper go down a cliff. It smiles but stops when a tongue grabs it. A gigantic eel eats the trex and slowly dives back in. 
**** Banjo: Banjo and Kazooie stare in disbelief, as they witness their car being taken away for good this time] Well, we lost our car again.
****
****
**** Kazooie: Never mind the car, where's the road? [echoes] Road? Road? Road? [the echo turns out to be Kazooie repeating in disbelief] Road, road, road, road, [Babjo stares at her] r... sorry.
****
****
****
****
**** Banjo: There's the road. [The road is shown on the other side of the trench] On the other side of this [Looks down the trench in front of them]. deep, dark... dangerous...
****
****
**** Kazooie: [after seeing a fire] Hazardous.
****
****
**** Banjo: Hazardous...
****
****
**** Kazooie: [after seeing a tentacle and hearing a roar] Monster-infested.
**** Banjo: Yeah, monster-infested... [Gulps] trench.
****
****
**** Kazooie: Hey, Banjo, look! [Shows Banjo a flight of rickety, nail-ridden wooden stairs leading down] Here's the way down. Well, we're not gonna get the crown standing here. On to Animal City. Hey, look, it's making noise. Banjo? [Sees him about to leave] Hey, where are you going?
****
****
**** Banjo: I'm going home, Kazooie.
****
****
**** Kazooie: But what about Pyra?
****
****
**** Banjo: What about us? We'll never survive in that trench! You said it yourself, this is man's country. And let's face it, Kazooie. We're just...kids.
****
****
**** Kazooie: We're not kids!
****
****
**** Banjo: Open your eyes, Kazooie! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream. We worship a dancing Dragon, for fuck sakes! We don't belong out here!
****
****
**** Kazooie: We do not worship him!?
****
****
**** Banjo: [Lifts Her feather] Kazooie. You've been having the Goofy Goober Party tattoo for three years straight! underwear with What do you call that!?
****
****
**** Kazooie: Worship? [Gets tears in her eyes] Oh, you're right, Banjo... We are kids...! [Runs off while sobbing then falls down]
****
****
**** Banjo: Pull your feather up, Kazooie. We're going home.
== Act 19 Becoming Men ==
* Inkling: But you can't go home!
* [Banjo and Kazooie see Inkling riding a coach driven by seahorses]
* Banjo: Inkling!
* Kazooie: Inkling?! [Struggles to pull her feathers up] Huh...?
* Banjo: How much did you hear?
* Inkling: I heard enough.
* Kazooie: Did you see my tattoo under my ass?
* Inkling: No, Kazooie, freaking weirdo.
* Kazooie: [About to lift up her feathers] Did you want to?
* Inkling: Look, guys, you may be kids, but you're the only ones left who can get that crown.
* Banjo: What do you mean, the only ones left?
* Inkling: Things have gotten a lot worse since you left Bumala. [Pulls out a phone, which opens up revealing Bumala now] Or should I say, Skytopolis.
* Slaves: All hail Sky.
* Sky: [Holding a whip atop a pillar] No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isn't gonna build itself! Move faster!
* Banjo: Oh, my god! Kazooie, look! Sky's turned everyone we know into slaves. Pikachu, Kirby, Incineroar, [gasps] even Cow Mallow. 
* Cow Mallow: Moo Sky.
* Banjo: Can't your father do something?
* Inkling: My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything. [The magical clam shows Neptune's bald spot about to be sprayed by the Squire with hair growth spray]
* King Octaman: Squire, will you hurry? [The Squire is nervous. He closes his eyes and accidentally sprays Octaman's eyes, which grow hair. Octaman screams in pain]
* Inkling: [She turns off the phone] So you see, you can't quit. The fate of Bumala rests in your hands.
* Banjo: But... but we're just...
*
* Inkling: Hey. It doesn't matter if you're kids. What's so wrong with being a kid, anyway? Kids rule! You don't need to be a man to do this. You just gotta believe in yourself!
*
* Banjo: I believe.
*
* Inkling: That's the spirit!
*
* Banjo: I believe that... everybody I know is a goner! [He and Kazooie begin sobbing]
*
* Inkling: Come on, guys. [They don't stop] Guys... [They still don't stop] Guys? [they both spray tears to each other's mouths] Ew!
* Narrator: [A time card says] Meanwhile… [And the Narrator narrates it.]
*
* [Scar is next seen crashing through a bunch of skulls and laughs and one skull becomes a skull-and-crossbones symbol. Scene cuts back to Inkling]
* [Banjo and Kazooie are now rocking and sucking their thumbs like babies]
*
* Inkling: Guys? [No answer] Oh, boy. Think, Inkling, think. [Then she comes up with an idea] Yup, I guess you're right. A couple of kids could never survive this journey. That's why I guess I'll just have to turn you into men. [Banjo and Kazooie stop crying]
*
* Banjo: You can do that? How?
*
* Inkling: With uhhhh squid magic I guess.
*
* Banjo: Did you hear that, Kazooie? She'll use her squid magic to turn us into men!
*
* Banjo and Kazooie: Hooray! [Singing] We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men!
*
* Inkling: Good. Now, let's get started. Close your eyes.
*
* Banjo: Are we men yet?
*
* Inkling: Not yet. Uh... spin around three times.
*
* Banjo: I think it's working.
*
* Mindy: Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. [Grabs two blades of weeds] With my squid magic [Inkling puts the weeds onto Banjo and Kazooie], I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes.
*
* Banjo: [He and Kazooie open their eyes] I don't feel any... [Notices that Kazooie has a "mustache"]. Oh, my god, Kazooie, you have a mustache!
*
* Kazooie: So do you!
*
* Banjo: Wow... [He and Kazooie play with each other's "mustaches"]
*
* Inkling: So now that you're men, can you make it to Animal City? [Banjo and Kazooie are distracted by their "mustaches"] Guys!
*
* Banjo and Kazooie: Yeah?
*
* Inkling: I said, now that you're men, can you make it to Animal City?!
*
* Banjo and Kazooie: Heck, yeah!
*
* Inkling: Are men afraid of anything?
*
* Banjo and Kazooie: Heck, no!
*
* Inkling: And why?
*
* Banjo and Kazooie: Because we're invincible! [they jump off the trench] Yeah! Woo-hoo!
*
* Inkling: [yelling down to them] I never said that!
** Woo-hoo!
** Inkling: [yelling down to them] I never said that!
** [As they fall, SpongeBob and Patrick do tough moves]
** Banjo: Yeah!
** Kazooie: Yeah!
** Banjo: Yeah!
** Kazooie: Yeah!
** Both: Yeah!
** Banjo: Yeah! Yeah. [Banjo looks down and realizes something] Uhh... Kazooie?
** Kazooie: Yeah, buddy?
** Banjo: Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?
** Kazooie: Bec - well... [They scream and hug each other in fear after realizing they are falling]
** Banjo: [A branch catches them and stops them from falling and they land safely on the ground. Banjo stops screaming but Kazooie continues screaming] Kazooie.
** Kazooie: [Stops screaming] Huh. Are we dead?
** Banjo: No, far from it, my friend. We're safe and sound at the bottom of this trench. [We see roaring monsters around the trench and the sign read Shell City pointing forwards towards the road ]
** Kazooie: The mustaches worked!
** Banjo: Do you know what that means? [He and Patrick stand up] We are invincible!
**
** Banjo and Kazooie: [The two heroes march forward and flamboyant march music starts to play] 
*** Now that we're men, we can do anything.♪ ♪Now that we're men, we are invincible.♪ ♪Now that we're men, we'll go to Animal City,♪ ♪get the crown, save Bumala, and Pyra.♪ ♪Now that we're men,♪ [walking between sea urchins
*** Banjo: ♪We have facial hair.♪
*** Banjo and Kazooie: ♪Now that we're men,♪
*** Kazooie: ♪I change my tattoo.♪ 
*** Banjo and Kazooie: ♪Now that we're men, we've got a manly flair.♪ ♪We've got the stuff. We're tough enough to save the day.♪ We never had a chance when we were kids. No! No! No!♪ ♪But take a look at what the squid did.♪ ♪Ha! Ha! Ha!♪
*** [They walk onto the road which turns out to be the right fin a big, blue, one-eyed angler fish. The two begin dancing and slapping their bodies]
*** Banjo: Yeah, go, Kazooie
*** Kazooie: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
*** Banjo: Oh yeah.
*** Kazooie: Yeah, go Banjo. [They both finish by touching the tip of their toes] Ah!
*** Monsters: Hooray! ♪Now that they're men, We can't bother them. Now that they're men, they have become our friends. Now that they're men, there'll be a happy end. They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown. They'll pass the test♪ [they slap their bodies] ♪and finish the quest.♪ [and again] ♪They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown!♪
*** All: Yay! [The group happily reaches the top of a trench as Banjo notices a sign]
*** Banjo: "Animal City, dead ahead". We did it, Kazooie! We made it past everything! Even the hideous, disgusting monsters.
*** Monsters: Huh? Aww...
*** Banjo: Not you guys. You guys are awesome!
== Act 20 The Cyclops And Meeting Scar ==
* BANJO: Well, Kazooie, we should be there in one more verse.
* Banjo and Kazooie: ♪Now that we're men...♪ [They are interrupted by Scar the exterminator]
* Scar: Finally. [Cracks his knuckles] I got you right where I want you.
* Banjo: Can I help you with something, sir?
* Scar: Name's Scar. I've been hired to exterminate you.
* Banjo: You're gonna exterminate us....? [They look at each other and laugh] Listen, junior, you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
* Scar: You mean, these? I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime.
* [Dennis throws weed dramatically, seaweed falls to the ground after a slight spin.
* Banjo: They were... fake?
* Scar: Of course, they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like. [He grows a mustache]
* Kazooie: Is he a squid?
* Scar: All right. Enough yapping.
* Banjo: What are you gonna do to us...?
* Scar: Sky was very specific.
* Banjo: Sky?!
* Scar: For some reason, she wanted me to bite the two of you.
* Kazooie: bite us?
* Banjo: This guy's giving me déjà Vu!
* Scar: Yeah! That way you'll never find out that she stole the crown!
* [Banjo and Kazooie look at each other again, this time, more scared]
* Scar: Uh... Perhaps I've said too much. [rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed] [Spikes pop out under his boot. He raises up his jaw Banjo and Kazooie hug each other and tremble in fear. 
* Kazooie: That's really sharp teeth!
* Scar: Don't worry. This'll only hurt a lot! [laughs maniacally] I love this job! [Continues laughing. Suddenly, an extremely large boot stomps on Scar]
* Kazooie: Bigger teeth! [Starts to run away, but Banjo stops him]
* Banjo: Wait, Kazooie! This bigger boot saved our lives!
* Kazooie: Yay!
* Both: Thank you, stranger!
** [They looks up to see a giant scuba diver breathing heavily]
** Banjo: Uh... Stranger?
** [Scuba diver looks at them]
** Banjo: It's the Cyclops! [The two scream and try to outrun the Cyclops, but he grabs them and takes them with him into the darkness as they both scream for help]
** Banjo and Kazooie: (Screaming) Help us! Help us! Save us, someone!