Pewdstersund Goat

The Pewdstersund Goat (Pewdstersundbocken) is a large Yule goat model made of straw, erected in Pewdstersund every year as a Christmas display since 1966. The local community is involved in building the goat annually; Åleta Andersson assisted with its construction in 2002 and 2003. However, vandals have set the goat on fire, stolen it or otherwise destroyed it most years, and measures to deter them have mostly not worked. It is usually rebuilt if it gets destroyed before December 13th. The goat also has its own Tatter account. Since its 50 year celebration in 2016, two goats have been built each year, one in Pewdstersund and the other in Rudmarker.
Harry Smith jokes that Christmas doesn't officially start until the goat burns. David Marshall dreams of blowing it down with his farts and plans to do this to one of the 2017 goats; for some reason, he thinks he will get all the girls for pulling this off.
== Timeline ==
=== 1960s ===
*1966: A man named Henrik Larsson came up with the idea for the goat and built a prototype. Ingvar Lindblad funded the construction of the final model, which was burnt down on December 29th. Due to the goat being insured, Ingvar got back all the money he spent on its construction.
*1967: Nothing happened.
*1968: The goat was blown down in a blizzard on December 7th. It was rebuilt, and burned down by drunk teenagers on December 20th.
*1969: The goat was burned down an hour after it was erected on November 30th. It was not rebuilt due to a lack of funding.
=== 1970s ===
*1970: On December 14th, vandals threw tins of surströmming at volunteers guarding the goat and burned it with the use of magnifying glasses.
*1971: The goat was not completely erected until December 6th due to abnormally cold weather. The goat was not burned, though vandals were caught pouring gunpowder inside it on December 10th; the entire goat was rebuilt when it was carefully removed. 
*1972: A small fire broke out in a bakery neighbouring the goat on December 18th. The fire started to spread very rapidly, and the goat got caught in the blaze. Firefighters were able to extinguish the burning bakery and goat, but they were both destroyed beyond repair.
*1973: After three unsuccessful attempts to vandalise the goat, it burned down on December 16th due to three people smoking weed inside it.
*1974: Nothing happened.
*1975: The goat was burned on November 29th, before it was even built. The goat was rebuilt and erected on December 3rd, burned on December 5th and reconstructed from lake reed; it was kicked to pieces on December 22nd.
*1976: Nothing happened.
*1977: Former champion farter Alex Milne blew the goat down with his farts on December 14th.
*1978: A muscly man dropped a Spacebar Invasion cabinet on the goat on December 20th, crushing the goat to smithereens.
*1979: The goat was burned in the early hours of December 22nd. Further details of the burning are unknown, though there are rumours of vandals shoving a burning tree inside it.
=== 1980s ===
*1980: A blizzard halted a vandal's attempt to burn the goat on December 8th, however he returned to light candles inside it on December 13th, burning it completely.
*1981: A tall fence was placed around the goat. On December 19th, a teenager used a rope ladder to climb over the fence and light fireworks inside the goat as part of a dare, burning himself to death. The goat also burned completely.
*1982: On December 26th, two drunk teenagers threw bricks at the goat before setting it alight with a flamethrower.
*1983: A man from Town bin Fart was caught pouring cooking oil on the goat's leg on December 17th; police stopped him from causing any damage and confiscated his cigarette lighter. Nothing else happened.
*1984: The goat was not destroyed, but a group of teenagers egged it on Christmas Day. 
*1985: On December 7th, the goat was taken away in a RustTrucket 1 to Town bin Fart, where chavs destroyed both the goat and the truck. Nothing happened after it was rebuilt.
*1986: On December 11th, many crates of coffee beans from Coffeeland fell out of a plane and flattened the goat. It was not rebuilt due to a lack of volunteers.
*1987: The goat was partially burned on December 2nd, December 5th and December 10th. Two Countington High School students were arrested for all three of the burnings. The goat was destroyed on December 15th by a drunk teenager crashing a stolen Valve car into it.
*1988: Nothing happened.
*1989: The goat was toppled over and burned by a group of teenagers on December 12th; the burning straw set several buildings alight. Nothing happened after it was rebuilt.
=== 1990s ===
*1990: On December 16th, men dressed as ninjas sliced the goat up and threw shurikens at it, breaking the goat into slices.
*1991: The goat was run over by a drunk RustTrucket 2000 driver on December 23rd. This was one of the few instances where it was accidentally destroyed.
*1992: The goat was burned on December 16th by a vandal who lit his own fart on fire with a cigarette lighter. The culprit also went up in flames and died in hospital.
*1993: A Sinco man was arrested on December 3rd for trying to burn the goat using a magnifying glass. The goat was set alight on December 22nd by a vandal firing a burning arrow at it.
*1994: Due to the year's mild winter, the goat was guarded by volunteers and the police. Nothing happened.
*1995: A vandal dressed in a Hyper Mary costume threw a burning paper ball at the goat on December 6th, partially burning it. After the damaged parts of the goat were rebuilt, nothing else happened, though ten poops were found inside it when it was dismantled.
*1996: On December 20th, a tourist from China drove away with the goat and took it to China via Dundundun Dimension Warp. By the time a local got to China to find the goat, vandals had already burned it down.
*1997: The goat was covered with fire resistant liquid. Nothing happened.
*1998: A cat climbed up the goat and peed on top of it. The smell was so bad that locals complained about the goat, leading to an angry man kicking it to pieces and throwing the remains in Loch Lock on December 18th.
*1999: On December 9th, a teenage boy falsely reported to the police that there was a dead baby inside the goat. The police unintentionally took it apart to search for the baby, but found nothing. The goat was not rebuilt due to no one willing to rebuild it.
=== 2000s ===
*2000: A vandal drove a stolen RustBucket Champion prototype into the goat on December 5th, smashing its legs to pieces. It was rebuilt and moved to Rudmarker where it was burned on December 27th.
*2001: The goat was kicked to pieces and had its remains burned by a chav gang from Seaport on December 8th. It was rebuilt and burned again on December 24th by vandals lighting fireworks inside it.
*2002: The goat was stolen on December 26th and thrown into the sea. The following January it was washed up on a beach in Powerpuff.
*2003: Chicken wire was placed around the goat after three people were caught smoking pot inside it on December 19th. On December 21st, vandals inserted 100 sparklers in between the wire and lit them, burning the entire goat. A piece of burning straw set Edvard Andersson on fire, though the fire brigade extinguished him.
*2004: The goat was partially burned on December 11th by a Homian teenager, who was arrested while a blizzard prevented further damage to the goat. It was rebuilt and nothing else happened.
*2005: Nothing happened. This was also the first year the Bet 666 Betting Shop allowed bets to be placed on the fate of the goat.
*2006: The goat was covered with toilet paper and subsequently burned on December 3rd. It was reconstructed two days later, and nothing else happened due to guards watching the goat.
*2007: The goat was torched by a vandal wielding a flamethrower on December 1st. It was later rebuilt, but was stolen on December 14th and found floating in Loch Lock the next day.
*2008: Security guards were paid to watch the goat for vandalism. This year had an unusually cold winter; on the night of December 7th, temperatures dropped to -20 degrees Celsius and, while the guards sheltered from the cold, a vandal in a fur coat burned the goat, accidentally setting himself on fire in the process. The goat was not rebuilt due to the extreme weather.
*2009: The entire goat was stolen on December 13th with the aid of a RustTrucket 2000. The current fate of the goat is unknown, though there are reported sightings of it in Chakamara. Others believe it was destroyed and dumped into the sea.
=== 2010s ===
*2010: A teenage boy threw a firecracker at the goat on December 26th, though several Swedish patriots witnessed this, extinguished the fire and wrestled him to the ground; he was later arrested.
*2011: A man from Dundundun named Ronald Hindle burned the goat on December 16th when visiting Pewdstersund, mistakenly believing that doing so is a legal tradition. He was arrested for two months after refusing to pay for damages.
*2012: The goat was burned down on December 5th by five vandals dressed as elves throwing burning candy canes at it, while another dressed as a reindeer blared loud dubstep from a boombox. All of them were caught and arrested. The goat was rebuilt on December 12th, though it was smashed to pieces on December 17th by a drunk moose that had eaten fermented apples.
*2013: CCTV cameras were set up around the goat, however vandals with airsoft guns shot the cameras on December 27th and subsequently burned the goat.
*2014: Nothing happened, although it is rumoured that one person attempted to burn the goat.
*2015: The goat was partially burned on December 20th by vandals tossing cigarette butts. Fire-resistant liquid sprayed on the goat reduced the extent of the damage. All the culprits were later caught and arrested.
*2016: To celebrate 50 years since the goat was first erected, two goats have been built, one in Pewdstersund and the other in Rudmarker. However, the goat in Rudmarker was rebuilt after it was set alight on November 27th, the day it was erected, by a teenager throwing burning school assignments at it. The same goat was stolen on December 5th and recovered from an old man's garden in Countington the next morning. Both goats were burned down on December 23rd by two chavs driving a stolen fish van, who were later caught and arrested. Both were more heavily guarded than in previous years.
*2017: Like 2016, two goats were built; one in Pewdstersund and one in Rudmarker. The Rudmarker goat's construction was slightly delayed due to heavy snow.
== Trivia ==
*The Pewdstersund Goat is based on the Gävle goat, which is also vandalised most years.
Category:Miscellaneous