Meet the Smiths

All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time, it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Smith family, and Experiment 626 (Stitch) chose this particular house because there were people and animals who believed in him. There was Mrs. Smith.
In the bathroom of the corner house, there was a Native American woman with copper skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes, wearing a yellow Indian dress, her mother's blue necklace, and blue suede boots. Her name was Pocahontas. And she was busy fixing her hair in front of the mirror for a ball.
"John dear, do hurry," Pocahontas called out. "We mustn't be late for the party, you know."
Mrs. Smith believed that Experiment 626 was the spirit of youth. But Mr. Smith...
In the bedroom, there was a British man with blond hair and blue eyes, wearing a a light blue shirt, matching pants, a dark blue vest, and matching boots. His name was John Smith, Pocahontas's husband. And he was looking for his gold cuff links through some drawers.
"Pocahontas, unless I find my cuff links, we don't go to the party," John Smith called back. "And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in London again. And if I can never--"
Unfortunately, he got cut off by bumping his head on the open top drawer.
"OUCH!" cried John Smith, as he hopped around, holding his head.
Well, Mr. Smith was a practical man. The twins, however, Chip and Dale, who were the stepsons of John Smith and Pocahontas, believed Experiment 626 was a real creature and made him the hero of all their nursery games.
In the nursery, we see two shadows fighting each other with a toy scepter and a toy sword. One has a toy sword in its left paw and a hanger in its right while the other has a toy sword in its right paw.
One of the shadows belonged to a brown chipmunk with a black nose, wearing a red short-sleeved nightshirt, black glasses, and a straw hat on his head. His name was Chip, John Smith and Pocahontas's stepson. And he was the one with the hanger in his right paw and the sword in his left.
The other shadow belonged to another brown chipmunk with a red nose, wearing a blue short-sleeved nightshirt. His name was Dale, Chip's twin brother and John Smith and Pocahontas's other stepson. And he was the one with the sword in his right paw.
"Blast you, Experiment 626!" Chip said in a scary voice.
Dale bonked his brother on the head twice with his sword. "Take that!" he cried. Then he and Chip blocked their toy scepter and toy sword together. "Give up, Br'er Fox?" he smirked, "Give up?"
"Never!" called Chip. Then he opened a drawer that was underneath Dale's paws with the hanger, and he fell in as Chip yelled, "I'll teach you to cut off me hand!"
Just about then, an 8-year-old Hawaiian girl with black hair and brown eyes walked in. She was wearing a mint-green nightshirt with short sleeves. Her name was Lilo Pelekai, John Smith and Pocahontas's stepdaughter and Chip and Dale's big sister. She was also carrying a jug.
"Oh no, Chip," Lilo giggled. "It was the left hand."
"Oh, yes. Thank you, Lilo." said Chip, as he switched the hanger from his right paw to his left and the scepter from his left hand to his right.
Lilo Pelekai, the eldest and stepdaughter of John Smith and Pocahontas, not only believed. She was the supreme authority on Experiment 626 and all his marvelous adventures.
While Lilo was in the hallway, she sighed as she talked to three figures, "Oh, Cleo, Figaro, Pluto. Must we always take that nasty tonic?"
"Yes, you have to." said a voice. The figures walked out to reveal an a goldfish named Cleo, a black and white kitten named Figaro, and an orange-yellow dog named Pluto. Pluto was carrying a tray of three spoons and a bottle of tonic for Lilo, Chip, and Dale.
Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto the nursemaid and butlers, being a goldfish, a cat, and a dog, kept their opinions to themselves.
"We do not!" Pluto insisted after he, Figaro, and Cleo walked over a pillow.
And they viewed the whole affair with a certain tolerance.
Pluto put the tray on a small table. Then he, Figaro, and Cleo went over to the pillow to pick it up while Chip and Dale were still playing.
"Take that!" Dale called.
Chip and Dale played around, hopping around the beds. "Insolent trog, I'll slash you to ribbons!" Chip yelled.
Pluto went to the bed, placed the pillow there, and fixed up the sheets and blanket up. "And I'll scratch you to pieces! Aha!" Dale called.
As he hit Chip, the chipmunk yelped in pain. "Ouch! Careful, Dale, my glasses!"
"I'm sorry, Chip." Dale said.
Then Figaro picked up two blocks and went with Pluto and Cleo to the other blocks. Chip and Dale hopped back to the bed, messing it up again. "Ah! You'll never leave this ship alive!" Chip shouted.
So both of them bounced up and down as the pillow fell off again. "Oh yes, I will," Dale shouted back. "Take that!"
When Figaro placed the ABC on the top, he, Cleo, and Pluto quickly turned as they realized that Figaro had made a mistake. He got them to BAC. "Oops," said Figaro. "I got A and B backwards." So he took the A block, moved the B block, and placed it to the first. He and the others smiled and walked to the tonic for the kids.
"Scuttle me bones, trog! I'll slit your gizzard!" Chip yelled, as he stabbed as his wooden sword. It ripped through the sheets.
Then Pluto poured on the spoons. "Oh, no, you won't," Dale cried. "Back! Back! Back, you villain!" As they moved through the sheets, he pushed his wooden sword against Chip's.
"Insolent pup!" Chip snarled.
Pluto heard that as he turned, only to get the tonic on his paw. He put it down. "Wicked fox pirate!" Dale cried.
"Aha! I got you!" Chip shouted.
"You didn't either. You never touched me!" Dale smirked. When Pluto licked it off, he was grossed out by the taste. "Oooh!" Pluto grimaced, "This tonic does taste nasty." "Take that! And that! And that!" When Dale thrust his sword at Chip, he got it under his arm as if he made it look like he got him.
Pretending he was dead, Chip placed a paw over his chest, groaned a fake death groan, and collapsed to the floor. That's when John Smith came into the nursery.
"Boys, boys. Less noise, please." John Smith said, without looking where he was going. He knocked the blocks down as Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto heard that, and they had to get them back together as they frowned in annoyance.
Chip saw him. "Oh, hello, stepfather." he said in a normal voice. But Dale was still playing.
"You old bilge rat!" Dale cried out.
Then John Smith heard that and was insulted. "Wha- wha-what? Now see here, Dale!"
"Oh, not you, stepfather. You see, he's Experiment 626. Stitch." Chip told him.
"And Chip's Br'er Fox." Dale added.
"Yes, yes, of course. Er, have you seen my cuff links?" John Smith asked before he bumped Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto, knocking the blocks down again and spilling the water and Cleo out of her fishbowl. "Oh, Cleo, Figaro, Pluto, for goodness' sake!" John Smith shouted, walking past the annoyed fish, cat, and dog, "Where are those cuff links?" Pluto smashed the last blocks that were standing with his paw. "Here we go again!" said Figaro, rolling his eyes. But Cleo just giggled.
"Cuff links, stepfather?" asked Chip.
"Yes. The gold ones." John Smith answered, still looking around.
"Dale, the buried treasure," Chip whispered to his brother. "Where is it?"
"I don't know, Chip." Dale said in an innocent way.
"The map then… Where's the treasure map?" Chip whispered.
"It got lost." Dale said.
While John Smith was looking around the bed, he then spotted something under the covers, he was shocked as he shouted, "Good heavens! My dark blue vest!" He grabbed his dark blue vest.
"Hurray! You found it! You found it!" Dale cheered.
John Smith put it on, as he turned. He didn't know that it got chalk all over his shirt front, the one that looked like the lost map. "Yes, so I have. And hereafter..." As then, Dale came and pulled his vest "Don't paw me, Dale! This is my last clean..." It was loose as he has saw something shocking and horrifying. He saw a lost map. "No..." He can't say something, only he covered his vest shouting, "NO!"
Pocahontas came in and said, "John dear, we really must hurry or we'll be late."
"Pocahontas! Look!" John Smith said, showing Pocahontas his vest.
Pocahontas saw that and was shocked. "John!"
"It's only chalk, stepfather." Dale said.
"Why, Dale..." Pocahontas was about to say something when Chip cut in.
"It's not his fault. It's in the story. And Lilo said..." Chip said.
When John Smith heard what Chip said, he now knew what was up. "Lilo? Story? I might have known." He walked to the door as he called out, "LILO?" He crossed his arms and called out even louder. "LILO!"
Lilo heard him, walked in, and asked, "Yes, stepfather?"
"Would you kindly expl-" John Smith was about to say something. But Lilo walked by him when she saw the beauty of Pocahontas's necklace.
"Oh, stepmother! You look simply lovely!" Lilo said.
"Thank you, dear." Pocahontas smiled.
John Smith turned to her in annoyance and said, "Lilo..."
"Just my mother's necklace made over but it did turn out right. And I-" Pocahontas was about to say.
"Pocahontas, if you don't mind, I'd..." John Smith said, as Lilo turned and saw his vest.
"Why, stepfather! What have you done to your vest?" Lilo asked.
John Smith couldn't believe what she was saying. "What have I...?" He then turned and screamed in shame. "AAAAAOOOOOOOHHHHHH!"
Pocahontas walked to him with a damp washcloth "Now, John, really. It comes right off." She washed off the chalk on his shirt front.
"That's no excuse!" He frowned while Lilo, Chip, and Dale were putting the toys away. "Lilo, haven't I warned you? Stuffing the twins' heads with a lot of silly stories."
"Oh, but they aren't!" Lilo protested.
"I say they are! Br'er Fork! Stitch the Fox!" John Smith said.
"Stitch is an alien, stepfather." Lilo told him.
"Alien, Fox," John Smith shouted, trying to put on collar around his neck. "Poppycock!"
"Oh no, stepfather."
"Stepfather, have you ever-"
"You don't understand." The children tried to tell him.
"ABSOLUTE POPPYCOCK!" John Smith shouted, finally getting the collar together. "And let me tell you, this ridiculous..."
"Now, John..." Pocahontas said, about to put on his shiny silver chest armor.
"Now, John! Now, John!" He repeated of what Pocahontas said, while Figaro and Pluto were almost done helping Cleo put the blocks back up. But they stopped to listen. "WELL, 'NOW, JOHN' WILL HAVE HIS SAY!" He tied it around his waist himself, but he made the knot too tight.
"Please, dear." Pocahontas said, loosening the knot in his belt.
"Pocahontas, when we became Lilo's new parents when she was an orphan, she's growing up," As when Cleo picked up two more blocks, she listened very carefully. "It's high time she had a room of her own!" He pointed at the hall as it shocked them all.
"Stepfather!" Lilo gasped.
"John!" Pocahontas gasped.
"What?!" Chip gasped.
"No!" Dale gasped.
Cleo dropped all the blocks while she, Figaro, and Pluto gasped in shock and couldn't believe what they were hearing and what John Smith was doing. "I mean it! Young lady, this is your last night in the nursery!" he said, as Lilo lowered her head in sadness. "And that's my last word on the matter!" He walked away, only to nearly stomp on Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto and tried to get out of the way. John Smith couldn't move around and was ready to fall. And he was losing his steps!
Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto moved away, as they fully stopped. But they nearly knocked the blocks again because John Smith bumped into them and knocked them down. Now they must move away before it happens. But Cleo stepped the wagon, rolled back, and fell as John Smith stepped on it and rolled around here. "NO!" And when Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto were rolling by, the wagon made a tear in the rug, and John Smith was sent flying as he yelled, "NO!" And with a large crash, he fell into the dresser, knocking the toys down. Lilo, Chip, Dale, and Pocahontas were shocked that Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto were against the wall.
As for John Smith, he was on the floor in pain, and last of the toys fell on his head, the last was the jack-in-the-box, and up popped the jack, as it stood on his head, which made John Smith mad and annoyed.
"Oh!" Lilo, Chip, Dale, and Pocahontas all said together. John Smith heard them, and knew that they saw him get hurt, and caring of him. So he closed his eyes and waited for them. But suddenly, they ran past him, which made John Smith open his widened eyes in shock. As they ran to Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto, but John Smith.
"Poor Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto." They said together again.
John Smith couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Poor Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto?" Now he was very angry as he hopped up on his feet when he stomped up and shouted, "This is the last straw!" He pointed his finger out the door shouting, "OUT! OUT, I SAY!"
Figaro was hugging Cleo (who was back in her fishbowl) while Pluto was hugging Figaro, and Dale was hugging Pluto. "No, stepfather, no!" Dale pleaded.
John Smith grabbed Pluto while he was still hugging Figaro and Figaro was still hugging Cleo in her fishbowl and shouted, "YES! There'll be no more cats or dogs for nursemaids or goldfish for nursemaids in this house!" But Pocahontas stopped him by picking him up as John Smith was dragging Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto out the room.
Dale started to cry as he waved to his friends. "Goodbye, Cleo. Goodbye, Figaro. Goodbye, Pluto."
"Goodbye, Dale!" Figaro said cheerfully, as he, Cleo, and Pluto waved goodbye back. As John Smith walked out to the back, he muttered to himself, "Poor Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto. Oh yes, poor Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto. But poor father? Oh, no." He let go of Cleo, Figaro, Pluto and looked for some ropes, and couldn't find any. "Blast it! Where are those ropes?" He turned as he saw Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto holding three ropes in their mouths. John Smith walked to them and said, "Oh, thank you." As he was tying the ropes to Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto's collars, Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto gave him sad looks. "Oh, boy!" sighed Pluto. John Smith saw that and couldn't bear the sight. "Oh, dash it all, you three. D-Don't look at me like that."
He walked to the fountain and filled up Pluto and Figaro's dishes and got some fish pellets for Cleo. He picked them up and filled them more. "It's nothing personal. It's just that- Well, you're not really butlers or a nurse at all. You're… Well, a goldfish, a cat, and a dog. And the children aren't goldfish, kittens, or puppies, they're chipmunks and a human." He placed the water dishes near Figaro and Pluto and put the pellets in Cleo's fishbowl. "And sooner or later, Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto, chipmunks and humans have to grow up." He pet Figaro and Pluto's heads and he stroked Cleo's back.
Inside the house, the kids are in their beds, as Pocahontas knew that John Smith didn't mean to do that to Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto.
Lilo looked depressed. "But stepmother, I don't want to grow up." she pleaded
"Now dear," Pocahontas said, as she kissed her on the forehead and covered her up with a light blue blanket. "Don't worry about it anymore tonight."
Chip was using a walnut shell as his bed. "He called Experiment 626 'absolute poppycock'." Chip said to himself after what his stepfather had said.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Chip," Pocahontas said, as she removed the glasses from his eyes and straw hat from his head. "Father was just upset."
As for Dale, he was using a dog basket as a bed. He had tears running down his cheeks. "Poor Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto," he sniffled. "out there all alone."
"No more tears, Dale. It's a warm night. They'll be all right." Pocahontas said, as she covered him up with a blue blanket, kissed his forehead, and left.
Then Dale remembered something. "Stepmother?" he asked.
Pocahontas turned around and asked, "What is it, dear?"
"Buried treasure." Dale had the cuff links that John Smith was looking for, and he gave them to Pocahontas.
"Now, children, don't judge your father too harshly. After all, he really loves you very much." She walked to the window door, and was about to lock it up.
But Lilo stopped her as she said, "Oh don't lock it, stepmother. He might come back."
"He?" Pocahontas asked in a puzzled way.
"Yes, Stitch. You see, I found something that belongs to him." Lilo said, as she lay down.
"Oh, and what's that?" asked Pocahontas.
She yawned and said, "His shadow."
"Shadow?" Pocahontas asked, very surprised.
"Mm-hmm. Cleo, Figaro, and Pluto had it, but I-I took it away." Lilo said, as she drifted off to sleep.
"Oh? Yes, of course. Good night, dear." Pocahontas said, as she turned off the light, walked out, and left for the party.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Peter Pan
Category:Peter Pan parodies