Party Pooper Pants Updated Scenes

Anyone knows about the SpongeBob special, right? Well, you will see some of those scenes being extended and will have swearing in it. This is fanmaded, not real.
If you want to view the full transcript of the original special, click here.
==Getting The Party Started==
SpongeBob: [looks over his party list] Two down, 175 to go. Oh, I almost forgot... [hands Patrick and Mr. Krabs name tags] These name tags eliminate the need for awkward introductions. [doorbell rings] Oh, more guests! [Patrick tries to read his name tag upside down]
Patrick: Kcirtap si eman ym o77eh. I don't get it.
Mr. Krabs: No, you dumb bunny, it says, "Hello, my name is Patrick."
Patrick: [shakes Mr. Krabs' hand] Nice to meet you Patrick.
Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Good one, Patrick! [both laugh]
Patrick: Yeah.
SpongeBob: What's going on here!? The laughter isn't scheduled until 9:03! If you want to throw a party, do it at your house, Patrick!!! [doorbell rings]
Patrick: HEY!!! That's not very nice to me! I hope SpongeBob gets kicked out of his house!
Mr. Krabs: I agree with you Patrick! He might be the worst party planner ever.
SpongeBob: Squidward, you made it!
Squidward: SpongeBob, my cable's out! Someone just cut my cable wires so I can't watch TV!
SpongeBob: Oh, sorry to hear about that. [SpongeBob hides some wire cutters behind his back]
Mr. Krabs: So, how's it going, Squidward?
Squidward: [sighs] Not bad... SpongeBob must have cut my cable wires so I can't watch TV no more.
SpongeBob: [He clears his throat, attracting Mr. Krabs and Squidward's attention] I have you making mild conversation with Mr. Krabs from 10:41 to 10:47. [erases something on his clipboard and clicks his tongue] But if you've got a case of the jabberjaws, I can hook you up with Scooter. [He takes Scooter and places him near Squidward] Here are some topic cards to break the ice. [hands them some cards. The doorbell rings] Oh, someone's at the door!
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SpongeBob: Attention everyone. Attention please! Now that we're all here, I officially declare the party switch to be in the 'on' position! [silence. everyone claps silently] As soon as I get back from the coat room, we'll have a rundown of tonight's schedule. Try not to have too much fun without me! [laughs as he walks into a room with a sign that reads Coat Check] Seriously. [closes door]
Squidward: Ugh! This is bulls**t!!! We will have fun without that sponge!!!
Patrick: Yeah! He won't let me have too much fun without him!!!
Mr. Krabs: Yeah! This is makin' me angry! I'm sick of this yellow brat's scheduling times!
Sandy: I agree! That yellow crap is our worst party planner and we're gonna have fun without him no matter what!
Squidward: Right! Okay everyone, now that sponge brat is gone for a while, let's party!
SpongeBob: [scene cuts to his wardrobe] Hey Gar, got another coat for you. [throws the coat on Gary] The party's going great, by the way. They're gonna be talking about this one for a long, long time. Well, back to work. [laughs and walks back out with his clipboard] Okay, everyone. Let's...huh? What's going on here? [guests are talking and dancing to the music. SpongeBob starts to hyperventilate] This is all wrong! What's happening to my party? [scene cuts to Sandy and Larry dancing] No, no, no, no, no!!!!! Didn't you read the schedule? 10:00pm: Dance your pants off! 10:00pm!!!
Sandy: HEY!!! We already doing that you fool! I hope you're gonna be out of here you motherf**ker!
SpongeBob: [scene cuts to Sandals eating cake. SpongeBob takes a vacuum and sucks out all the food from his mouth] Let's try to stick to the schedule, shall we? Cake will be eaten at 8:52, everyone! 8:52! [switches into 'blower.' Slice of cake is blown perfectly back into the rest of the cake. A plate with bacon and eggs is blown onto the table] Hey, what's this?
Sandals: That's my breakfast you f**king idiot!
SpongeBob: Could I have everyone's attention please!? [Patrick is dancing by the record player] Patrick! [stops the music] If everyone could take a seat on the couch please, while I sort this out. Thank you, thanks. [the guests walk over to the couch] Hey everybody, thanks for your patience. I know we've gotten off to a rocky start here, so I'm going to get us back on track. It is now 8:37, and we all know what that means! [gets out a newspaper] Time to read aloud from the newspaper comics!
Squidward: LAME!!! Newspaper comics are crap! I hope you can get the f**k out so we can have a good time!!! [crowd booing]
SpongeBob: Okay, I think I'll start out with 'The Wisenheimers.' Okay, panel one: we see Roxy Wisenheimer with some sort of rake. Wait, I can't read from this! [guests cheer] This is yesterday's paper. [they stop cheering as he walks outside] I'll just go grab today's paper.
==SpongeBob's Attempt to Go Back to His House==
Squidward: This is stupid!!! Patrick, what are we gonna do now!? That mean party planner moron is gonna be back for a short time!
Mr. Krabs: Yeah! He is so mean to all of us because of scheduling times!!!
Sandy: I agree! Patrick, you better think of a idea about SpongeBob being stuck outside of his party! Tell us!
Patrick: Uh... How about locking the door? That will prevent him to come inside.
Squidward: Patrick! That's a good idea! I will lock his door so that mean party planner moron won't come in! [everyone cheers as Squidward locks SpongeBob's door]
Squidward: There we go! That outta do it!
Mr. Krabs: Patrick! You're a genius! Now SpongeBob won't be able to go back in!
Sandy: Yeah! Thanks for the idea Patrick! I knew I could count on you!
Patrick: Your welcome! Now that SpongeBob is stuck outside, let's party!!!
SpongeBob: [everyone starts to party when he leaves. talking to himself] SpongeBob, you sure know how to throw a party. What would they do without you? [tries to open the door] Locked out? [knocks on the door. Scene cuts to Patrick and Sandy are dancing]
Sandy: This song's got a great beat. 
Patrick: Yeah. Knock, knock. 
SpongeBob: Gee, I wonder why they don't hear me? [looks through the window and his eyes bug out as he wails. He sees the party, with all the guests dancing and having fun and the music blasting] Oh no! [cut to the topic cards on the floor and two fish just talking] They're not using the topic cards! They're ad-libbing! [cut to Patrick eating all the deviled eggs in the piñata in one gulp and everyone else cheering him on] Now they're mad at Patrick! He's hogging the deviled eggs! [scene cuts to two guests laughing] Look at those poor souls, they're so bored, they've gone mad! Oh, no. The party's falling into chaos without my hosting talents to guide it!
Squidward: [pops up from one of SpongeBob's windows] How do you like that SpingeC*ck LoserPants?
SpongeBob: Squidward!? Did you just...
Squidward: That's right! I got you locked out so you won't come in! [laughs]
SpongeBob: [angrily] Squidward, how could you!?
Squidward: How could I? I locked your door while you're getting that crappy newspaper comic paper since we hate those! [laughs] And since you're locked out, you are homeless!!!
SpongeBob: [shocked] H-h-h-h-h-h homeless!?
Squidward: That's right! Homeless! Homeless! Homeless! [blows raspberry and laughs maniacally]
SpongeBob: [enraged] YOU SON OF A B***H!!!!!! I WILL GET IN NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!
Patrick: So, do you come here often? 
Mrs. Puff: No. [phone rings. Patrick answers] 
Patrick: Hello, SquarePants residence. What? I'm sorry, what? [scene cuts to SpongeBob using a pay phone outside, across the street] 
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob! 
Patrick: You wanna talk to SpongeNob? 
SpongeBob: Yes... no, Patrick! I'm SpongeBob! I'm outside! 
Patrick: Okay, hold on. [opens door] SpongeBob, you out here? Phone's for you! 
SpongeBob: What? I-. No! Patrick! Wait! [He runs toward the door] 
Patrick: Sorry, he's not out there. [He closes it in front of him]
SpongeBob: Oh s**t! I didn't make it!
Squidward: [pops up from one of SpongeBob's windows] Nice try SpongeBrain, but you still stuck outside now! Try again if you want to you want to find another way to go back in! [Squidward laughs and SpongeBob growls]
Scooter: Hey, dude, if you're looking for SpongeBob, he's over by the punch bowl. 
Patrick: Thanks. [Patrick hands the phone to an ice sculpture of SpongeBob's head] Here you go, SpongeBob! [drops the phone in the punch] 
SpongeBob: Phone in punch bowl!? That's not even on the f**king schedule!!! [looks up noticing the bathroom window is open. Scene cuts to Larry looking in the window] 
Larry: Larry, my man, you are looking good enough to eat! [the mirror shows a real lobster on a plate] Could use a little teeth whitener, though. I'm sure SpongeBob won't mind. [looks through the medicine cabinet. He finds a comb with three angles and teeth coming out from them] Hey, check out his crazy comb! 
SpongeBob: Oh s**t, sounds like someone's rummaging through my medicine cabinet! [climbs up the side of his house] I hope they don't touch my special comb. 
Larry: Well, I think I've aired it up enough. 
Squidward: Hey Larry! That spingesucker is climbing up into the bathroom window! Will you close it?
Larry: [sees SpongeBob climbing up to the window] Yep! I will close it! [He closes the window on SpongeBob's fingers. SpongeBob falls down screaming] There we go!
SpongeBob: [lands flat on the ground] No... I still cannot make it.
Squidward: [pops up from one of SpongeBob's windows and laughs] Sorry SpongeBrain! You are so close to go back in! I guess you won't see us anymore! Good bye forever!!!!! [laughs maniacally]
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SpongeBob: I don't even know how that happened. Well, I have no choice. I'm gonna have to tunnel back in!!! [takes a shovel and digs. Digs up into the middle of the party] Okay, everybody, don't panic, the host has returned. [sees a angry crowd and gasps]
Patrick: [angrily] You motherf**ker!!! How did you do it!?
SpongeBob: Well... I dug a tunnel back to my-
Mr. Krabs: [angrily] You were supposed to be staying outside!!! Not going back in!!!
Sandy: [angrily] Yeah! I told you to stay the f**k out because of your stupid scheduling times!
Squidward: [angrily] What's going on here!? Did SpongeBob finally got back in!? [sees SpongeBob] Well, well, well! If it isn't SpongeBob! You have finally got back in, but I'm still gonna let you out in different way...
Crowd: Oooh!
SpongeBob: Huh!? What are you gonna do to me!?
Squidward: I'll tell you what I'm gotta do, I will put you on a bunny outfit and I will call the cops to take you to jail!
SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You can't do this to me!!! I don't wanna go to jail!
Mr. Krabs: Too bad!!! You were mean to everyone at the party, so Squidward is going to torture you right now!
SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! [Squidward makes a bunny outfit for SpongeBob and wears on him]
Squidward: Oh yes I am!!! [laughs] Now for me to call the cops! [Squidward using SpongeBob's phone to dial 911]
Police: This is the police. What can we help you?
Squidward: [high pitched voice] Help me!!! There is a burglar outside of the pineapple!!! Arrest him! Please...?
Police: Really? OK! We will arrest him! Thanks for reminding us! [everyone cheers]
Squidward: [normal voice] There you go SpongeBrat! See you forever!!! [laughs maniacally as he hops on SpongeBob and send him through the hole he dug]
Officer John: Well, well, well. What do we have here? A burglar bunny! Why do they do it, O'Malley?
Officer O'Malley: I don't know. It's probably how he gets his kicks.
Officer John: You criminals make me sick!
SpongeBob: I'm no criminal! I live here! I'm...I'm throwing a party. I got locked out, I swear!
Officer O'Malley: Whoa, whoa, okay, motor-mouth, tell it to the judge. [handcuffs SpongeBob but the handcuffs are not working] Oh crap, these cuffs are broken. 
Officer John: Huh, can't bring him in in broken cuffs. I got an old pair in the car we can use. [bubble transition to Officers John and O'Malley taking SpongeBob to jail] 
SpongeBob: Is it too late to offer you some punch? 
Officer O'Malley: Sir, you have the right to remain silent!
SpongeBob: [enraged] GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! SQUIDWARD YOU DIRTBAG!!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU AND ANYONE FOR DOING THIS TO ME!!!!
Officer John: REMAIN SILENT YOU DAMN CRIMINAL!!!
Squidward: Bye SpongeLoser!!!! I hope you're gonna be f**ked up in jail!!!! [laughs]
Mr. Krabs: We did it gang! He's going to jail because that's what he gets for doing all of those scheduling times! Now let's continue the party without that yellow brat!!!!! [everyone cheers as the party continues]
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