Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story (Chapter 2)

Chapter 2 is the second chapter of Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story written by MarioFan65.
This chapter is called "Fairy Tale".
==Plot==
(Back at Cortex's castle in the lab room, Cortex and Uka Uka use the computer to track down the bandicoots as they locate some worlds to suck the bandicoots out and drop them over to the latter world)
*Cortex: Come on, come on. We got all night to look around the multiverse to kick the bandicoots out somewhere in the dimensional cycle. I hate when my screen buffers like a slow internet connection.
*Uka Uka: You always been guessing. Find some places for them to warp!
*Cortex: I'm trying. But you're giving me a hard time to think when I'm looking around for places to pick.
*Uka Uka: You're making me upset more than your parents.
*Cortex: Dang it Uka Uka. You're making me nervous.
*Uka Uka: Uh, who's asking first? Me or you?
*Cortex: Um?
*Uka Uka: Don't even try guessing if you're not going to pass the test.
*N. Gin: Can I take cover on the computer Mr. Cortex?
*Cortex: No. I'm suppose to find some worlds for the bandicoots to banish on.
*N. Gin: Sir, you take forever to search like you did with the weapons. I should have been on the computer in the first place.
*N. Brio: My head is getting dizzy or is it my brain.
*Cortex: *slap N. Brio* No, N. Brio. You are just acting stupid.
*N. Brio: I can't feel my head.
*Nina: What taking you so long to track a world down?
*Cortex: Uh, Nina. Can you see I'm trying to track down the bandicoots to suck them away?
*Nina: Yeah. You always gonna do it, but somehow failed like your science project.
*Cortex: Be quiet miss. Let the uncle handle the targets myself.
*Uka Uka: You been taking too long. MOVE OUT!
*Cortex: Nope. I'm not getting off until I find a good world for them to move.
*Tiny: Yeah. Tiny is getting kinda bored.
*N. Tropy: I should have done it myself.
*Cortex: I finally track them down. See? Isn't it that easy for you to see what I'm doing like putting a cherry on top of the cake?
*N. Tropy: Whatever. You're not even trying.
*Cortex: You son of a top hat. I would never lie to you on a high daily basic target mission.
*Pinstripe: You're making me buy a new gun from a gun show this upcoming April.
*Dingodile: My man. You'll be toasting up some bandicoots to make Matzo soup out of them!
*Cortex: Okay. Which worlds should I send them to. *locate the worlds to find for the bandicoots to banish* The 5th dimension? Nope. The 10th dimension? Hard pass. Too scary. The Dragon Realms? No. They'll be alive there with the good dragons. I can't take them where we got enemies in the other world that torch fire out of their months like dragonflies. Can there be a good world I can find and discover?! *locate Shrek's swamp* Ah. A swamp with a tree house. That's where I'm abandoning them to.
*Uka Uka: Perfect-o. This is where they're staying, right?
*Cortex: Yes. Now, I will push this button and make them go away forever like it's their last day on the Wumpa Islands. *press the button to zap the bandicoots over to their house* At last, the light comes.
*N. Brio: Ooh, it's a miracle!
*Nina: Too late for goodbyes isn't a option for our enemies.
*Cortex: Goodbye you humble bandicoots. I will miss you, NOT! *laugh as he press the button*
(The zapper at Cortex's Castle zaps into the satellite as it zaps right into the bandicoot's house with a portal opening up as Crash, Coco, Crunch, Tawna, Aku Aku, Polar and Pura are floating out of their rooms and bumping each other through the ceiling)
*Crash: *hit his head* Oof!
*Coco: Uh, why are we floating?
*Crunch: Are we in space or did someone rob our house to launch a anti-gravity machine device?
*Tawna: It's like, we're floating out of the house!
*Everyone: What?
*Crash: Oh no!
*Aku Aku: Something must be going on when a huge portal open above our house outside. Heck, it's like we're being sucked away.
*Polar: *shocked and try to get out as he get sucked into the portal outside* Aah!
*Everyone: Polar!
*Pura: *hold from the door as he get sucked into the portal* Paa!
*Crunch: Not you Pura. What the hell is going on outside?
*Coco: It's like we're facing a alien abduction!
*Tawna: Don't even try going into the light. Don't!
*Crash: *crash out of the house with everyone as they get sucked into the portal* Whoa!
(Crash, Coco, Crunch, Tawna, Aku Aku, Polar and Pura are falling through the portal as they zoom through the lines of getting warped in the multiverse)
*Crash: Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!
*Coco: This look like some unfinished business here!
*Crunch: I'm not liking the sound of warping to another world! Get us out of here!
*Tawna: It's too late! No matter what they tried to do, is to drive us out of our home and abandon us into some strange world.
*Coco: Don't tell me we're going to fall into some kind of strange world in the multiverse?
*Crunch: I guess not.
*Tawna: Oh, you're wrong on that. Look where were going to on the end of the line.
*Crunch: Oh burned wumpa fruits.
*Polar and Pura: *hold on together screaming*
*Crash: Weeeeeeeeee!!!
*Aku Aku: I got a bad feeling!
(Crash and the gang suddenly zoom through the portal and crash themselves into another world, landing into the swamp as they splash into the water where a beach side is held)
*Crash: Eek! *shake himself*
*Coco: Aw man. *get mud off her body* That landing is a bummer on the hole.
*Crunch: *get off the water* Sugar sprinkles. Where did we crash on the other side?
*Tawna: *get up* We must have landed into a swamp. This is a total disaster, I say.
*Polar and Pura: *run out of the water and hide through the hole down beneath the tree*
*Coco: Polar, Pura, don't be scared. We're all in this together.
*Crunch: Why they run off like that?
*Tawna: Cause we're lost. We fall into the other side of the world where we didn't expect to land into a swamp in the forest.
*Crash: Uh? *itch his head and get off the water*
*Coco: I don't know much about this place, but it's really becoming a true nightmare for us.
*Crunch: Like we gotta get outta here cause, this swamp is really smelling like a stinky junkyard full of dirty pickle jars!
*Tawna: If there are only power crystals hiding in the swamp, we'll be out of this world in no time.
*Crunch: We got a good point to get out of this mess.
*Coco: *check by Polar and Pura hiding in the hole of the tree* It's okay to be scared you pets. We'll get out of here by morning.
*Polar and Pura: *walk up close to Coco*
*Coco: Aw. It's okay to be scared and nervous with anxiety sometimes.
*Crash: Ooh.
*Aku Aku: *stuck on the ground* Excuse me! Can any one of you get me off the ground?! I can't move when my head is stuck towards the ground!
*Coco: Oh, I'm sorry Aku Aku. We didn't see you there. Crash, pick Aku Aku off the ground, please.
*Crash: Ah ha. *pick Aku Aku on the ground*
*Aku Aku: Thank you Crash Bandicoot. *spin around to see the swamp in a close-up* Wow. What a forest this is.
*Tawna: Is this a rainforest or a jungle full of monkeys and bananas?
*Crunch: It's still a swamp to me.
*Aku Aku: We have discovered a whole new world in the multiverse. Say, there is no time to panic, but to look around in a whole new location we have never discovered before.
*Coco: Could be better than riding dinosaurs in the prehistoric age.
*Crash: He he.
*Aku Aku: In the meantime, let's go explore through the swamp to find our way back home to the portal of light.
*Crunch: You never expect when a new world could be good or not.
*Tawna: I don't trust new worlds sometimes, but I get used to when I give them a chance just like exploring at Dragon Mines.
*Coco: New worlds, new faces, here we come.
*Crash: Ooh la la.
*Polar and Pura: *bark as they follow the bandicoots and Aku Aku on the journey to the swamp*
(Back at Cortex's Castle, Cortex and his army watch on the computer to spy on the bandicoots, Aku Aku, Polar and Pura on exploring the swamp as Cortex celebrate after doing his successful plan on getting the bandicoots out of his world)
*Cortex: Yes. Yes. YES! At last, we finally abandon these bandicoots into the swamp. I finally got my dream achieved to get rid of those freaks after several unhappy years of trying to kill them off.
*Uka Uka: Apparently. They are trying to get out of the swamp. You should've take them to the 10th dimension instead, didn't you?
*Cortex: No way. They were suppose to be drowning into the swamp's water. How could they be alive after falling?
*Dingodile: We could have celebrated by now with a lot of meatball cheese pizza on our boxes.
*Cortex: Not now Dingodile. I still need a answer and a okay-check to go with the wrap-up.
*N. Tropy: According to this dimension data, I heard a hideous beast reside in the swamp and can roar out the bandicoots behind the swamp along with the squirrels, frogs and human beings.
*Cortex: Oh really? If it was for the hideous beast, it could be some sort of bear or troll that can scare out the villagers living close to the swamp of a creature.
*Nina: Who could it be? A ogre or a gnome?
*Cortex: It can be anything like whatever a dragon can that hold gems out of their chests like picnic baskets.
*N. Gin: At least, we got our victory to take down the bandicoots. Are we going to celebrate or what?
*Cortex: Do I look like I am happy to celebrate my victory on defeating the bandicoots, huh? Yes we are going to celebrate, but can you stop annoying me while we are going to cherish the life of a new lifetime?!
*N. Gin: Sorry to bother you. I guess you're not some sort of people person after all, right?
*Cortex: Nope.
*N. Brio: My head is fixed on the right size.
*Cortex: Victory is ours. Let's celebrate! *celebrate with the gang by drinking some beer and lemonade with meatball cheese pizza*
*Dingodile: *munch the meatball cheese pizza* Extra cheesy on the meatball pizza! Take that pepperoni. We got everything on the meatball pizza sub!
*Ripper Roo: *laugh maniacally by tearing up the pizza*
*Fake Crash: *pick his nose and put it on his pizza to eat it* Ah hoo hoo hooooo.
*Tiny: *rip up the Crash, Coco, Crunch and Tawna dolls* Heh heh heh. Tiny really hate bandicoots. Tiny rip them all! *rip off the dolls' heads*
*Pinstripe: Cortex, now that you overthrow the bandicoots, what is your next step of taking over the world.
*Cortex: I still have to keep an eye on them. What if they come back for revenge when they figure out to return to the world like they did in the other timelines in 1998.
*N. Tropy: Getting warped out of our timeline isn't a good twist. But you should have shoot them and burn their little baby house out of the way.
*Cortex: I could have caused the whole jungle on fire and that include the whole island including our home. Still not a good option to erase the bandicoots' history off the island.
*Uka Uka: You are the boss of your own empire. You can do anything. Build a Crash Bandicoot punching bag and beat it many times like what Koala Kong did to his punching bags in 1997. How about that?
*Cortex: I get it. Without no consequences, solutions or peer pressure, we'll be fine on moving away on shooting the bandicoots.
*Nina: We can't just give up on fighting the bandicoots yet. What if they are still on the run and we got nothing to do, but to throw many beakers on their faces.
*Cortex: I can do the same to the heroes on Earth. They are still hiding from me and they can't get away with my clutches. What a shame for them to hide and block me from my conquest.
*Uka Uka: We better keep on the lookout for the bandicoots whenever the hideous beast is tracking them down or not.
*N. Tropy: We'll keep an eye on them if they survive the swamp or not.
*Cortex: They be eaten alive if they don't survive the swamp from the hideous beast. If the bandicoots escape, we'll make a offer to the hideous beast and eat them up like chicken wings! *laugh*
*N. Gin: Are you really being serious about this, Cortex?
*Cortex: Yes. I am being all that serious. I'm too despair to take down the bandicoots again after a long decade and a half of failing to beat them.
*Uka Uka: There is still more time left to finish their bandicoot business.
*Cortex: Eh. I'll just wait 'til morning 'til I stay up and watch where they going until I finished drinking my coffee. *drink some coffee from his mug* Eh, not bad. But much better. *evil laugh*
(The next day in the other world, the bandicoots, Polar and Pura are still at the swamp, walking through the woods and searching for a way out while Polar and Pura sniff for clues during the quest with Aku Aku to guide them)
*Crash: *look at the flowers* Ah.
*Aku Aku: The sun must be up to give us light, huh? Heh, we haven't even sleep all night since midnight. Must have saved a lot of energy to keep our walking skills going.
*Coco: Gosh, we have been searching all night and all day long since our arrival. Can we find a place to sleep before we continue this afternoon?
*Aku Aku: Not yet. Not 'til we find a hideout on this morning without excuses. Or else, we could have ended up getting a sunburn like at the beach.
*Crunch: It's still morning? Gosh, why didn't we pay attention to our times?
*Tawna: We don't have a clock with us or a watch strapping to our hands. You shouldn't bring our watches before the go.
*Crunch: Hey, we just have been warped out of our homes. So what? We got nothing else to bring, but our apples and mangoes.
*Tawna: Why didn't we have a long day of camping with our bags before getting sucked into the portal hole?
*Crash: *itch his head* Ooh.
*Coco: Aw, brother. This isn't going to end long.
*Aku Aku: *annoyed* Are you going to focus on their conversation or focus on where were going?
*Crunch: Then why didn't we make one and strap it into our hands?
*Tawna: You should have know the answer and ask Coco in the first place. She's a expert on building clocks and machines.
*Coco: I didn't have time to set up a clock or watch timer. I was busy doing some chores.
*Tawna: If working on inventions is a chore, then why didn't you build one in the first place?
*Coco: I was cleaning the house with my brother. We had to clean the dishes and the floors cause, the cockroaches and ants keep on crawling to our house and we can't stop them by using a lot of toxic gas and water to kill them off like termites.
*Aku Aku: When dust comes depending on the time, the bugs start crawling and they won't stop coming.
*Crunch: Jeez, it's like waking up late and missing out breakfast in the morning.
*Tawna: Maybe we'll find a diner to eat at and fill out to our stomachs.
*Coco: It's not like the world isn't going to slow down on us.
*Crash: *tummy growls* Aw.
*Coco: It's alright Crash. We'll find some food to eat and hunt some animal to cook some meat like a boar.
*Aku Aku: Someone is getting hungry here. One of you pets can sniff on the ground to look for some food to eat, will ya?
*Polar: Ah. *sniff on the ground and the rocks*
*Coco: Polar, you there. Did you find anything?
*Polar: *shook head as "no" and point out to Pura*
*Pura: *sniff on the ogre footprints and found Shrek's house* Purr!
*Coco: A house!
*Crash: Ah ha!
*Crunch: I knew there's a diner with a house mixed together.
*Tawna: *look at the wanted signs with a picture of Shrek's family* Wanted. Beware of Ogre. Who knew a family of ogres could reside there and try to cause a roar on the individual faces? Nah, let's just take a look.
*Aku Aku: What if a neighbor is living on a house stead? Wouldn't we be aware of our surroundings and how we are trespassing in someone's swamp?
*Tawna: It doesn't matter Aku Aku. We're tourists.
*Aku Aku: Tourists? Then how are we touring when we're out of our island?
*Tawna: We just got warped out. You know, we're out of the world and in to the next world.
*Aku Aku: We just have to keep looking on where were going.
*Coco: You don't know when good or bad things are going to happen when we trespass cause, rrrrff is a crime against the law.
*Crunch: The same happen to private communities and properties. In fact, no one is allowed to trespass on Area 51, a facility within the Nevada Test and Training Range where trapped aliens reside on their cages.
*Tawna: Forget the aliens, I bet the swamp got something to say about their private communities.
*Coco: We gotta keep on walking to find out.
*Crunch: Let's take a look what the backyard of the house got to offer.
(At Shrek's house, Shrek and Fiona wake up as the babies wake up with Shrek yawning with a bright smile on his face to impress his wife and kids)
*Shrek: Good morning Fiona.
*Fiona: Good morning Shrek.
*Shrek: My love, it's so warm and peaceful inside.
*Fiona: At least, the sun didn't give you a sun burn.
*Shrek: How? We're not outside. We're inside. We get a sun burn when we're at the beach. Luckily, we're good to have a place like home.
*Fiona: Home is always home for lovers.
*Shrek: *see the babies* Aw, babies. My babies. Kids, you're gonna grow up to become like daddy some day. Huh huh.
*Fergus: *happy* Ah.
*Farkle: *laugh* Da da.
*Felicia: *frolic* Pa pa.
*Shrek: Fergus, Farkle and Felicia. I still love you as always on the day of your birth after saving Far Far Away.
*Fiona: Never fear the day you brought out your roar at our kids' birthday party to impress a fan.
*Shrek: That's only when a ogre gets angry over headaches, bad habits and malarkey.
*Fiona: Are you sure, depression and anxiety count as well.
*Shrek: Everything from the fears of peer pressure can rely on getting nervous. Ogres get nervous when they can't do two things at the same time.
*Fiona: Even the frogs in their pads have to move one place to another to prevent on falling into the water.
*Shrek: *feel hot* Oh. Am I feeling hot? I feel like grabbing some newspapers and birds' eggs already for breakfast.
*Fiona: You might want to check the windows to see if there's any birds or newspapers dropping by.
*Shrek: Don't we get newspapers at the front door? Eh. I wonder what's on our window. *check the windows* Ah. It's still a sunny morning.
*Fiona: Wanna go have some breakfast. I'll make some scrambled eggs for you.
*Shrek: Sure. Go right ahead. No need to bother while I'm checking the swamp. *confused* Huh? *see the bandicoots, Polar and Pura outside with Aku Aku* What the? What are these foxes doing in my swamp?
*Fiona: Maybe they're just tourists, searching around the swamp.
*Shrek: No they're not. They're strangers. Every time they come into my swamp, they're gonna put up a pitchfork and torch my tree house into a dump fire. I can't let them trespass my property as I put up signs to keep them away from coming.
*Fiona: Well you don't need to protect your swamp anymore since you are now a famous celebrity ogre.
*Shrek: Not in my house and not in my swamp! I'm still a ogre defender after all to prevent villagers from throwing axes and swords at my door!
*Fiona: Baby, don't just scare them out like you did with the gnomes and dwarves that come into your house through a tour bus.
*Shrek: Not today Fiona. I don't have time to deal with strangers nose-jabbing at my front door. I'll be back! *leave his bedroom*
(Donkey and Puss in Boots wake up in the living room of the house while a grumpy Shrek walk while heading over to the front door to deal with the bandicoots)
*Donkey: Heya Shrek. What a good morning.
*Shrek: I am not in the mood for some fun and games.
*Donkey: My man, you just woke up. Can you at least play some games while we have waffles.
*Shrek: Not now Donkey! There are strangers at my door!
*Puss in Boots: Strangers you say? These outlaws aren't getting away with their money.
*Shrek: I don't care if a outlaw or a cowboy come into our door for a shooting, I'm taking them all out of the swamp.
*Puss in Boots: Señor, but you can't drove them away without one word of a offer.
*Fiona: Honey, I can introduce to our swamp.
*Shrek: Nope. Not at all. No more annoying neighbors at my door!
*Fiona: Oh Shrek.
*Donkey: Shrek is being Shrek. Same logic, same attitude.
(Back outside of Shrek's house, the bandicoots, Aku Aku, Polar and Pura are looking in the backyard by seeing baby toys, buckets, lifeguard rings and other junk on the ground ahead of Shrek's gang showing up to meet them)
*Coco: Who knew people can leave their baby toys in the backyard.
*Crash: *hold a lifeguard ring* Ooh?
*Tawna: Put it down Crash. These rings got nothing to do on our stead.
*Crunch: It's a hill and a swamp with a house. Wow. This house look just like ours.
*Aku Aku: It's like, the whole world has turned upside down when our home is basically a swamp with a jungle rethemed as a forest.
*Polar: *pick up a bottle* Uh?
*Pura: *play with a yarn* Ah.
*Coco: I wonder if we can ask somebody at the door to get some help on finding our way home.
*Shrek: *show up* Hey, you there!
*Coco: There he is. But he look all grumpy like a old elder.
*Crash: *nervous* Uh oh.
*Shrek: What are you doing in my swamp?! Have you seen the signs, "No Trespassing" and "Wanted"? Bet you didn't see the looks on our faces when you try to enter into my house.
*Coco: Your swamp? But how could your house be a swamp when the whole forest is full of trees and ponds.
*Crunch: How can this place be a swamp if there is a tree with a household on top of the hill?
*Shrek: Look you guys, this place has been my swamp for a long time. I own a house and build it ever since I moved. Look at the trees and logs you seen in my backyard. Got the flowers growing and no wanted signs placed up since my reform.
*Tawna: It look like a nice theme for open house. We're on the same page, don't you think?
*Shrek: There is no open house, lady. My house is not on house and this is a swamp, not a farm! What point of a "Beware Ogre" sign do you not understand?
*Tawna: You're an ogre and not a orc, right?
*Shrek: Oh! You're making me nervous. I grew up in a family and village full of ogres, not trolls, not bats, not squirrels and not golems! You're wasting our morning here, sweetie. Everybody out! Conversation's over and my breakfast time is wasting on the clock.
*Coco: But sir, we can still find some help to get back to our world.
*Shrek: Your world? You're in the same world as me. Go back to your world where you belong cause, Goldilocks and the Three Bears got nothing to do on stealing into another property's house like jumping on beds and eating on mashed potatoes and pies. Also breaking on stools and chairs. Period.
*Tawna: Hold it. We're from another dimension like you. If you are a scientist, we can really use some of your help to get back home.
*Shrek: No more questions! *frustrated* Aurgh! I can't take these guys messing with my backyard.
*Fiona: I can handle it from here, Shrek. What's going on? Are you guys lost. Do you need some help?
*Aku Aku: Oh, hi. I'm sorry. I didn't know you're the wife of this grumpy ogre.
*Fiona: It's okay. I'm Fiona and this is my husband Shrek. He's a little bit tempered-down when it comes to his nerves in wake of anger and annoyance.
*ShreK: Hey! Don't diss to my wife like that!
*Aku Aku: Excuse me? We were trying to help you.
*Shrek: There is no helping, Magic Mirror-knockoff. Puss in Boots, show these foxes what they got.
*Puss in Boots: Look like there is a job for Puss in Boots! *jump and land on the ground*
*Donkey: What about me?! There could be me on the job if I was hired to meet up with the foxes.
*Coco: Why are they calling us foxes? We're bandicoots, not foxes or wombats!
*Puss in Boots: You never expect to see a legend like Puss in Boots! Huh? *hold his sword* Fear me, if you dare!
*Tawna: What do they call you? Poor in Doors?
*Puss in Boots: Not Poor in Doors. I am, Puss! In Boots!
*Tawna: They call you Puss in Boots because of your big boots? Why not call you Puss in Hats cause of your big hat.
*Puss in Boots: My mother at San Ricardo gave me these boots after saving a Comandante's mother from a running bull. Here, I was raised in the same town where I got these boots, a hat, a cape and a sword and had a brother like Humpty Alexander Dumpty where he was really a golden egg the whole time.
*Tawna: Humpty Dumpty? Isn't he from a fairy tale, shaped as a egg like N. Trance?
*Puss in Boots: Yes. I also met outlaw people like Kitty Softpaws. She was a street-savvy Tuxedo cat where I had adventures with her and the quest of the Golden Eggs.
*Tawna: Were you praised as a hero at the end?
*Puss in Boots: If I saved the town from destruction? Then yes. I am a hero and still a outlaw at the same time. Now, will you please get out of the way, m'lady?
*Tawna: If you say, please.
*Puss in Boots: What did I just said? Come on, now you're taking it seriously.
*Tawna: I got my own sword if you ask me. *hold a stick*
*Puss in Boots: That's not a sword, that is a stick! Ugh, you're making the cat angry. *fight with Tawna*
*Coco: What's going on? Why are we fighting a cat in a hat?
*Polar: *nervous* Uh oh.
*Pura: Uh?
*Shrek: Show them what you got Puss!
*Puss in Boots: I'm always on your side, ogre. *continue fighting Tawna*
*Tawna: You know, we're messing with you, right?
*Puss in Boots: You're still taking it too far, still.
*Donkey: I'm ready to rumble with the bandicoots. Come on, yeah. Bring it on! *run out of the house*
*Shrek: Donkey!
*Fiona: We didn't tell you to go.
*Polar: *block Donkey* Gah!
*Donkey: Are you a bear or a alpha bear? You don't look like a arctic fox to me.
*Polar: *growls* Grr.
*Donkey: Are you mad? Or not.
*Pura: *confront Donkey by hissing* Eee.
*Donkey: Are you a tiger? Aw. That's so cute. I can make you hiss like what Puss did on my body. *hiss to scare Polar and Pura*
*Coco: What the what?
*Crash: Huh?
*Donkey: How do you like that? Huh?
*Aku Aku: I wonder what's in the ogre's house. *check on the house*
*Shrek: Hey! I didn't ask you to trespass my house!
*Crunch: Still looking for me, huh?
*Shrek: What are you looking at?
*Crunch: Let's play some wrestling.
*Shrek: You annoy the ogre for the whole day. I'm gonna get you now like a mug! *wrestle Crunch* Come on!
*Fiona: Shrek, stop.
*Coco: We don't have to fight like wrestlers and boxers.
*Crash: Huh?
*Aku Aku: *check around the house* What a good looking house there. *see the babies* Ah. How cute you guys are. Need a lift with magic?
*Shrek: *slam down Crunch* Bang! I got you this time.
*Crunch: *jump and flip over Shrek* Yeah! I'm the real winner right here.
*Shrek: Alright. You win. You really win. Look who's talking now? Me!
*Crunch: Are you really going to go over for yourself?
*Shrek: I don't care until I get a rematch.
*Crash: *nervous* Uh oh.
*Coco: Guys, stop. Stop fighting.
*Fiona: How am I going to fix this? Enough! All of you! Time out!
*Puss in Boots: Not yet Fiona until I deal with this bandicoot woman right here.
*Tawna: *broke her stick* You even broke my stick after pushing too hard.
*Puss in Boots: You blew it. It's your own fault.
*Fiona: Guys, guys! Stop! Oh, what to do? *think and roar in front of the whole swamp, stopping the fight in tension*
*Aku Aku: *see the babies cry at the house* Don't cry. I was trying to entertain you. Let me fix this. *use a milk bottle with magic to feed milk to the babies to stop them crying* Much better.
*Donkey: What was that roar?!
*Shrek: Honey, please.
*Fiona: Shrek, stop. No more. Just leave the travelers alone and move on.
*Shrek: One word: Sorry. I'm sorry for messing with you earlier.
*Coco: But that's not even a one word comment.
*Shrek: Oh. That's just the whole sentence I used after one comment. You didn't get my speech?
*Coco: Duh. We were just listening.
*Tawna: We should give up just now from slashing swords.
*Puss in Boots: Give up? You make the cat angry if you make the cat stress. But you do not want to make the cat angry if you try to annoy the cat even more and push through your bonds. *open his claws with a fierce face*
*Tawna: Okay. Really. I learned my lesson.
*Puss in Boots: Lesson learned. First meetings are always not that easy. I went through many adventures and did not enjoy meeting new people for the first time when they turn out to be outlaws and strangers.
*Tawna: Same with meeting scientists and tourists.
*Aku Aku: *show up by using magic to spin at the babies and put them on the big stacks of pillows* Whoa! This place got a booze from the start.
*Shrek: *hold the babies* Excuse me. Those are my kids. These aren't your precious pet birds to play with.
*Aku Aku: Sorry about that. I didn't know these babies are your kids.
*Puss in Boots: We got a lot to explain from these bandicoots, right Donkey?
*Donkey: New people, new faces. That's the goal to accomplish.
*Shrek: Let me rephrase it. Nice to see you all! Aren't you guys far-travelers traveling from country to country?
*Crash: Uh?
*Aku Aku: Hold it. We wouldn't say we're far-travelers looking for peace in the worlds. We're explorers that explore from place to world, from planet to universe.
*Shrek: Far-travelers I see. Then welcome to my swamp. Here is a family of ogres living in a happily ever after life. Also got two pets with me and bugs crawling all over the woods.
*Coco: We still haven't introduce to ourselves just yet.
*Shrek: All righty then. I'm Shrek. This is Fiona. Donkey. Puss in Boots. And my kids Fergus, Farkle, and Felicia. *his babies burp* Oh, excuse there triplets.
*Fiona: Aw, they're still cute after all.
*Crash: Ah ha. *clear throat and try to introduce to himself* Ah, uh, ah, uh huh.
*Aku Aku: Hold on a second. Sorry about this. This is Crash Bandicoot. He speaks gibberish and cannot speak clearly like his brother and sister. This is Coco, Crunch and Tawna. Also the pets, Polar and Pura.
*Tawna: I have happened to be Crash's girlfriend.
*Crash: Aw.
*Shrek: Hey, I got a girlfriend too.
*Fiona: *annoyed* Shrek.
*Shrek: Sorry, right. My wife Fiona. I have a wife in which I saved from the Dragon's Keep.
*Crunch: You saved your wife from a Dragon's Keep?
*Shrek: Actually, Fiona was a human princess at first when I met her and rescue her from the castle surrounded by lava by a request. We spend some time together and fall in love, only to reveal herself as a ogre during the wedding to the person that ordered me to find Fiona. We got into a little fight as Donkey came with his dragon to save the day, ate the king and got married to live happily ever after in the honeymoon.
*Fiona: The best moment with Shrek was saving me from the Dragon's Keep and got reunited with my parents in a far away kingdom afterwards.
*Shrek: Still got married and had kids like Fergus, Farkle, and Felicia.
*Coco: Got a happy life and a nice home full of trees.
*Shrek: Thank you. We should spend some time together in the woods. Don't you think?
*Crunch: It's a swamp. So. You wanna spend a little time with us, do you?
*Shrek: Yes. Let's go and celebrate in the swamp!
*Crash: Ah ha!
*Aku Aku: It look like it's time for a celebration of fun.
*Coco: No more fighting and no more excuses. We all apologize for our actions and learned our ways to accept who we are.
*Donkey: What are you guys again? Wolves?
*Coco: We're bandicoots.
*Donkey: Bandicoots? Never seen a bandicoot before. I have seen a possum once and they were creeping the heck out of me at my old barn.
*Tawna: You're seeing one right now in your eyes.
*Puss in Boots: You haven't seen a cat with a hat before? Now you're seeing it in your eyes.
*Aku Aku: But you have seen a floating mask with magic powers, do you?
*Shrek: In your eyes, Magic Mask!
*Aku Aku: Thank you. But you can call me Aku Aku.
*Shrek: Anytime.
*Aku Aku: Time to get some free time at the swamp.
(The background song "All Star" by Smash Mouth plays as Shrek and Crash's gang celebrate at the swamp by jumping in the pool together by making a splash with Polar and Pura swimming and Puss in Boots getting out of the water due to his fear of water. The gang use a straw to shoot seeds at the frogs and scorpions from cutting ant hills as well Shrek cooking some hamburgers with the gang eating the hamburgers with carrots and potato wedges on their side. Shrek and Crash's gang paint a picture together on the paint board with drawings of the sun and some with a painting of a cat, bandicoot, dog, donkey and bear shaking a tree. The gang fish on the pond with Crash catching the most fish on the fishing rod with Shrek catching some salmon and cooking them on a grill for his friends and family to eat as the ogre triplets drink a lot of milk and eat the oranges as their snack. Shrek and Crash's gang stand on top on a hill as they use the log boards to ride together with laugher and reach to the end of the hill as Crash is in the lead and won the race alongside with the runner-ups.)
*Crash: Woo hoo!
*Shrek: Oh Crash. You really own a token on this one. *pat Crash*
*Donkey: What a day. Can never get on those log boards on sliding down the hill. It's like snowboarding in the mountains all over again!
*Coco: It been a fun day hanging out in the swamp with a bunch of tree tops.
*Crunch: It feels a lot like home.
*Tawna: Home isn't far away from the multiverse as long we got time to get back on track.
*Shrek: I love my swamp. It never get old on a Thursday.
*Aku Aku: Really beats on a Tuesday.
*Shrek: A perfect life when you are acting like a normal person.
*Fiona: You are a normal person Shrek. Look at yourself.
*Shrek: I am more than myself. I got my kids, friends and a house on the swamp.
*Donkey: And you got me. *lick Shrek*
*Shrek: Donkey! Grrr. That son of a wild animal. You annoy me once more!
*Fiona: Shrek, not on our hang out day.
*Shrek: Fine. I would have punish you, but forget it. It's a day of friendship and honor.
*Donkey: You're messing with me.
*Puss in Boots: The ogre mess with me too as I mess him back.
*Polar: *bark* Arf!
*Pura: *stretch* Ah.
*Shrek: *hold the babies* Ah, kids. Let's go set up a barbeque back home.
*Coco: It's getting kinda dark in here. We have a dinner to prepare.
*Crunch: Let's get a hold of those meats and breads. *he and everyone get up and walk*
*Tawna: Anyone up for some French fries with tater tots?
*Fiona: If you can choose anything, it got to be potato wedges.
*Tawna: Didn't we have those at the swamp earlier?
*Fiona: We can eat them again if we want.
*Tawna: One of us make the choice.
*Shrek: You know it always gotta be me.
*Coco: Why you always choose?
*Shrek: Because, I'm the boss.
*Coco: The leader always pick for whatever the owner choose for their people to do.
*Aku Aku: It always happen all the time like governors and presidents. We got a lot of things to do at night and a barbeque is the next thing to do.
(The background song end as we head back to Cortex's Castle as Cortex is still spying on the bandicoots in the computer, realizing that they are hanging out with Shrek which make him furious about the bandicoots teaming up with beasts in which he attempts to see them get eaten by one, in fact not)
*Cortex: How could this be? Why are they hanging out with the beasts?! I want them to eat the bandicoots for lunch! Oh man. Look what have I done?
*Uka Uka: They're ogres. I thought they were meant to be scarier like yetis and golems!
*Cortex: A dream is crushed for them to suffer to their fates. They're never going away soon and I just can't seem to help it by making them go away.
*N. Gin: You did what you did to make them go away.
*N. Brio: Are you going to give up when they return to our world?
*Cortex: No. I will still continue to shoot them out in my campaign to get rid of them once and for all.
*Nina: The ogres got a talking donkey and cat with clothes on their side. How weird it is to see them act funky like the polar bear and tiger cubs.
*N. Tropy: But not for a T-rex baby like Baby T. who lives in the past with the raptors and brontosauruses.
*Pinstripe: Things are not going well for you guys when the bandicoots are still on the run.
*Cortex: It has nothing to do with us. It has something to do with the bandicoots and the ogres are being friendly to them.
*N. Tropy: I see here, they are hanging out and now, they're going to prepare a barbeque at night.
*Dingodile: Heh heh heh. Barbeque. Add in the barbeque sauce on the steaks. Will ya?
*Cortex: We're not cooking a barbeque. They're cooking a barbeque. Just look.
*Dingodile: Oh. I thought they were going to make ribs and hot dogs for dinner.
*Nina: Just look and see for yourselves.
*Uka Uka: I got my eye on not just the bandicoots, the ogres as well as much we are spying on them into their little tiny swamp forest. *evil laugh*
(Back at the swamp at night, Shrek and Crash's gang prepare a barbeque by setting up the grill and campfire to add in the coal and torch them with fire to begin process on the barbeque by adding in some food on the grill and campfire)
*Shrek: Man, who knew cooking chickens is a great choice for dinner like hamburgers?
*Aku Aku: You just have to fry them to make it look crispy.
*Shrek: That's making a fried chicken. Cooking on the grill is gonna give you black lines like with hot dogs. Also, can cooking hot dogs on a campfire work?
*Aku Aku: Probably if you grill it on a real grill.
*Shrek: Eh. I would prefer cooking hamburgers on the campfire.
*Aku Aku: And so?
*Shrek: It's my choice. My choice. *cook the food* This special spatula got a nice sharp metal that doesn't melt and is invisible.
*Aku Aku: Okay. I can still see the spatula moving on the meats.
*Shrek: I haven't cooked a real barbeque for a while and I'm just learning how to cook the meats to make it well-done just like at Burger Price and Grey Castle.
*Donkey: *excited* Oh man. These dinners look good. I can't wait to try them out.
*Shrek: No Donkey! Stay away from the grill. Just wait 'til we eat together as a family.
*Donkey: Why not? I'm already starving on the inside.
*Shrek: Donkey, we eat as a family. Not just you alone!
*Coco: Just wait 'til we eat together.
*Fiona: Come on Donkey. You know better.
*Donkey: Alright! I will learn to wait and eat as a family like a normal person.
*Puss in Boots: You should at least take patience while we wait for the food to be cooked.
*Tawna: Cooking take time just like drawing a art and making a invention.
*Coco: Always remember. You can't rush art and cooking.
*Fiona: You never want to burn up your food while fixing your food.
*Donkey: Like fixing blocks and making pipes on the sewers?
*Crunch: You're so funny Donkey. I can tell, you should be a comedian for Hollywood if you ever travel to California.
*Donkey: But I am a comedian. I did a talk show once with Shrek under our Swamp Talk show.
*Shrek: Those were the good old days to rely on our events of history and how we explain what life and people were in our views.
*Puss in Boots: Like for example, a dog likes to walk, but a cat don't.
*Tawna: Hey, why are you hanging out if you are a cat?
*Puss in Boots: I'm a fierce warrior and bounty hunter. Hello? I knocked out several enemies as a outlaw for all my life in Spain.
*Tawna: You're not from here, are you?
*Puss in Boots: *sign* Yes. I'm from Spain. Still annoying the cat as always.
*Tawna: You're still funny to me, even with the long hat.
*Shrek: Hey, hey, hey. We have a update! We're about almost done with grilling the meat. Soon, we'll be serving for dinner..
*Aku Aku: Just about it, we'll be eating soon when the food is cooked well and perfect. Crash, go roast up some chicken on the campfire.
*Crash: He he. *hold a chicken on a stick and roast it up on the campfire* Ooh.
*Coco: That chicken look almost like the one from the store's deli.
*Crunch: Every store has a chicken on the deli that looked almost exactly the same.
*Tawna: Their popcorn chicken taste really great along with their pasta and spaghetti and macaroni.
*Shrek: *finish cooking on the grill* Just right and perfect the way it is. Aku Aku, make some chicken wings, will ya?
*Aku Aku: At your service. *use magic to heat up the chicken wings and put them on the tray* Heh. This is like working at a fast-food restaurant.
*Crunch: Now we got ourselves some dinner!
*Donkey: Barbeque food, I'm coming to eat you!
*Fiona: Come to mama and papa.
*Crash: Woo hoo!
*Polar: *play with a ball* Ah.
*Pura: *stretch and chew on a bone* Pa.
*Fergus, Farkle and Felicia: *laugh by squirting milk on their bottles*
*Aku Aku: Shrek, you know the food is ready, right?
*Shrek: Right. Well-done and cooked well. Let's eat our dishes right away.
(The food is ready as Shrek and Crash's gang eat their dinner for the barbeque as well eating hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken wings, ribs, steak and potato wedges with Aku Aku using his magic to move the crumbs on the garbage can with the gang drinking water and milk as their beverage)
*Shrek: Mmm. These chicken wings taste really great.
*Donkey: I'm loving it. The ribs got the most barbeque sauce than any meat meal in the world like steak.
*Puss in Boots: Steak has barbeque sauce too.
*Donkey: Nah. You dip it right into the sauce, just like with French fries and chicken nuggets.
*Fiona: All sauces taste great with meals like dipping potato wedges on mustard.
*Donkey: Never thought of that, but I think these potato meals are great! *eat the French fries, potato wedges and tater tots*
*Crash: *eat a hot dog* Ah.
*Coco: Delicious. Just delicious.
*Crunch: Nice fresh chicken wings there, Shrek. Is it me or are they made from scratch?
*Shrek: Aku Aku made them from scratch. Thank the magic mask for the hard work.
*Aku Aku: That's what I called a good dinner.
*Crunch: Homemade food is better than fast-food and restaurant foods.
*Tawna: I don't have a problem on eating foods from restaurants and fast-foods.
*Polar: *eat a rib* Ah.
*Pura: *eat a steak* Meow.
*Coco: Best barbeque in ages since 2010. The best meal we ever got in a barbeque was a steak sandwich.
*Crunch: I love smores when we mix a granola cracker, marshmallow and chocolate into a sandwich.
*Tawna: Just like a ice cream bar sandwich. *eat her hamburger*
*Crash: He he. *eat his chicken wing*
*Shrek: The swamp is love, the swamp is life. I could tell how many apple strudels I'm going to eat for one night.
*Fiona: You probably won't be eating as many if you are going to save some room for dessert.
*Shrek: A apple strudel is a dessert, just like a chocolate cake. What you want on my apple strudel? Frosting?
*Fiona: Frosting is just icing.
*Donkey: With these guests joining our swamp, what are we going to do about them? Can we keep them, please?
*Shrek: Eh, let them stay for one night before parting ways in the next morning.
*Donkey: What? Shrek, how could you?!
*Fiona: Why not? They're just visitors. Let them hang out with us for the whole week before leaving to head back to their home.
*Shrek: Come on you guys. I'm not trying to hurt their feelings. Like they haven't hear what I said yet. I don't have a place for them to live. I don't invite strangers from far away lands and Duloc is one of them.
*Donkey: Shrek, don't make them depressed.
*Puss in Boots: Come on, Shreky. It's a gather around party. Say, it's like a fiesta, but you got many friends over for Friendsgiving.
*Shrek: This barbeque isn't like Friendsgiving since that event always occur in November like Thanksgiving.
*Coco: I heard that Shrek.
*Crash: Ooh?
*Shrek: Aw. They got me this time.
*Tawna: You knew you were going to be busted like a security guard.
*Shrek: I wonder what we are going to eat in the morning for breakfast with you guys.
*Puss in Boots: We got biscuits in the morning if we like. They are nice, crispy and soft like a bread roll with a design that flew like a pillow.
*Donkey: Biscuits! I love biscuits! Does it has waffle flavor in them?
*Shrek: Donkey, biscuits are made from flour and they're bread. Waffle is a type of breakfast you eat as a dessert like pancakes and these type of food are made with cake mix like cupcakes.
*Donkey: How can biscuits be made from bread and not from any cake mix like a regular cake?
*Shrek: Donkey, biscuits are lunch-sized foods. Why not eat a raisin bread or a French toast for breakfast?
*Donkey: You never wanna make me eat a French toast for breakfast or a raisin toast with peanut butter.
*Shrek: Whatever Donkey. Eat whatever you want. In the morning, we're having wheat bread with marshmallows, whatever you like it or not.
*Donkey: I'm not too sure how this morning is gonna turn out with the menu you guys are going to serve like mashed potatoes.
*Shrek: Mashed potatoes, are a lunch meal, Donkey. Hash browns are made of potatoes and they're a breakfast, Donkey.
*Donkey: Facts are facts like onions having layers like ogres having brains.
*Shrek: *annoyed* Grrrrr, I'm done. I'm calling it a night. *yawn* This just in, I'm sleepy.
*Crunch: We'll call it a night and head out to sleep for the next morning.
*Tawna: I still don't know what we're doing in the morning.
*Shrek: We can hang out in the woods, climb on mountains and go to a kingdom like Far Far Away.
*Coco: We're going Far Far Away? To where?
*Crash: Whoa!
*Aku Aku: Isn't that a bit too far as going to Kansas?
*Shrek: Not that very far. Far Far Away is a kingdom where all of our friends live. Also a home to various fairy tale creatures and famous celebrities to name.
*Coco: Wow, a kingdom for all fairy tale creatures? Does that include humans, bandicoots and scientists?
*Shrek: Yes. Any fairy tale creature you asked like a tree or a gnome. So does giants and babies with wings.
*Fiona: My parents live in Far Far Away and I grew up on that kingdom where I belong.
*Crunch: If you are from Far Far Away, then why did you move all the way far far and far to the swamp?
*Fiona: Every person who grew up in a place always want to move somewhere in the world. I get to live with Shrek in the swamp.
*Puss in Boots: For example, I grew up in San Ricardo. Then I travelled to other places in the world like San Lorenzo and Marbella of Spain.
*Tawna: I once got my own place in the Wumpa Islands years ago and then moved back with the bandicoots sometime in 2005.
*Aku Aku: What is this Far Far Away kingdom is like?
*Shrek: Hmm. It's a big kingdom full of cities, homes and places to go to. Famous princesses, princes, kings, queens and fairy tale legends have known to reside on this very magical place with famous singers and bands that perform frequently in a month. I got friends there back at the kingdom like a gingerbread cookie and a a talking magic puppet who thinks he is a real boy.
*Coco: That's a lot of fairy tale creatures to meet in Far Far Away.
*Shrek: We'll explore Far Far Away in the morning as our vacation trip. I hope my friends get to know you guys and where you came from.
*Crunch: We're from the Wumpa Islands.
*Shrek: Okay, you'll explain more about your origins when we get to Far Far Away in the morning.
*Coco: How long is the way to Far Far Away?
*Shrek: The kingdoms are always far far away, but no worries. It take like an hour to get there and we'll see what we can do in the morning. The first time we got there, it took days to get to the kingdom.
*Crunch: Few days?! Really? Why not take a airplane or drive a kart to get there while you're at it like a road trip.
*Shrek: No vehicles to travel to places. We got something else to travel to Far Far Away in the morning. Right now, we're gonna sleep.
*Tawna: I'm feeling a little cold here. How are we going to find a place to sleep in?
*Shrek: You'll probably have to sleep in my house.
*Coco: But we're already at your house.
*Shrek: You're outside at my house and right now, you're going to go inside of my house as planned.
*Tawna: Who you asking?
*Crash: *surprised* Ooh.
*Aku Aku: At least, we should clean up the barbeque first.
*Shrek: Right. *he and everyone clean up the barbeque* All done. Even the backyard is looking clean as always.
*Fiona: A perfect backyard a house always need to look decent.
*Donkey: Now we can rake leaves and play with mud while we're at it.
*Shrek: Uh uh uh. No more messy backyards and mud fights, Donkey.
*Donkey: D'oh, I never get everything I wanted.
*Coco: You wanted to show what your house look like.
*Shrek: Right. Come on inside as we speak. *head over to his house with his friends and family*
TO BE CONTINUED
Next: Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story (Chapter 3)
Previous: Shrek and Crash: The Crossover Story (Chapter 1)
Category:MarioFan65's Fanon Stuff
Category:Crossovers
Category:Fan Fiction