Apple of My Ire/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Apple of My Ire".
== ==
(In his bunker, Branch is walking toward the elevator.)
Branch: Got to step out real quick, Gary. Be back in 10 minutes. (He goes up on the elevator. Suddenly, Cloud Guy appears from behind one of his pictures of himself in bed. He lets go of the picture and it falls and shatters.)
Cloud Guy: Only 10 minutes? Hm. For Operation Hassle Branch’s Castle to succeed, I’ll need some help. Some very handsome help. (He makes his clones appear with one dressed in art clothes and the other wearing a baseball cap and using a horn.) Hello, me. (He hugs and kisses the clone with the art clothes.) Let’s prank this joint! (The clone with the baseball cap holds a scorpion that hisses like a snake and puts it in a tool chest.) Ooh. A scorpion in the tool chest. Can’t wait until Branch finds that. But did you remember to rewire the lights. (The clone in the art clothes turns on the switch and snakes appear. Then he turns it off again. Cloud Guy laughs.) Me, you never cease to amaze me. (He puts some butter on his feet.) Ha! Butter skates, a classic. (He and his clones skate around Branch’s bunker with the butter on their feet. Soon, Cloud Guy hears the door opening.) It’s Branch. (laughs) Evaporate! (He and his clones disappear.)
Branch: (Wearing a green and pink party hat and carrying a cake with light blue and blue icing and a present) Surprise, Gary! I know you didn’t want to make a big deal about your birthday, but it’s not every day that a remote turns- (He slips on the butter and Gary falls on his cake.) Whoa! Huh? Who’s been butter-skating in here?
Cloud Guy: (Appearing while tap dancing) It was…
Branch: (Putting the present in his hair) Oh, hey, Cloud Guy. It’s good to see you.
Cloud Guy: Wait, what? Good to see me? Uh… Branch, what are you doing?
Branch: Heading back to Gary’s playroom for some cake. Want some?
Cloud Guy: Do I… want cake? (Branch goes to a drawer and takes out a knife. Cloud Guy appears as the knife.) Uh… Hello, Branch? Isn’t there something you want to incoherently grumble at me? I just buttered your floor.)
Branch: Uh… I’ll clean that later. (He takes out another knife and goes to cut the cake.)
Cloud Guy: But…
Branch: Stay if you want. Doesn’t bother me.
Cloud Guy: Doesn’t… bother him? (groans) I need to talk to someone about this. (He disappears again. Later, Poppy stomps on Branch’s door and he comes out.)
Branch: Uh… Hello, everyone. (Smidge, Cooper, and Biggie grunt at him.) Something wrong?
Poppy: Branch, Cloud Guy came to us very upset. What did you do to him?
Branch: What? Me? Nothing.
Cloud Guy: See? (He pushes Poppy’s friends aside.) He even admits it. I spend all day slaving over pranks just for him, and he did nothing. No groaning, no furrowed brow, no threatening with pointy sticks. (He starts sobbing and hugs Poppy.)
Poppy: Hold on. So you’re upset because Branch isn’t upset?
Cloud Guy: Exactly! We have something very special, Poppy. I push his buttons he loses his temper. And now he wants to throw all that away! (He sobs and hugs Poppy again.)
Branch: (sighs) Look, Cloud Guy, I’m not trying to be nice to you. It’s just, we’ve had a lot of adventures together now, and, over time, you and I have just… grown together. (Cloud Guy lets out a sad gasp.) Sorry. I think our rivalry is… is over. (His voice echoes in Cloud Guy’s mind. He lets out stifled sobs and thunder crashes in his body. Then he lies down as tears pour out of his eyes. Branch sighs and goes back to the elevator.)
Cloud Guy: Branch, you don’t mean that. You’ll find me annoying again. Give me a rant, one sneer, one scowl. Here, just do this... (He forms an angry face and puts it on Branch.) … but with your face. (He puts his face back on himself.)
Branch: OK, I’m gonna go.
Cloud Guy: Come on. Down low?
Branch: (Pulling the elevator switch) This is weird.
Cloud Guy: Down low?
Branch: (As the elevator goes down) This is so weird.
Cloud Guy: Down low? Down low? Down low!
Branch: Just very weird. (His door closes.)
Poppy: Cloud Guy, are you gonna be OK?
Cloud Guy: (sniffles) Oh, sure. No big deal. It’s just that the meaningful phase of my life is over. And now it’s time for my crazy cat phase. (He takes out a rocking chair and cloud cats. Then he sits down and pets one of the cloud cats.)
Poppy: Cloud Guy, no. You can’t give up.
Cloud Guy: Why not? Frustrating Branch was the only thing that made me accumulate out of bed in the morning.
Poppy: Well, if he’s not frustrated by you anymore, then… we’ll find a Troll who will be. (A smile comes to Cloud Guy.)
Cloud Guy: I’m listening. (Soon, he goes to Cooper’s mushroom pod and pranks him.)
Cooper: CLOUD GUY! (He angrily comes out of his house with a brownie.) Did you put jalapeno in my brownie?!
Cloud Guy: I did indeed. (Cooper grunts and smiles.)
Cooper: That was hilarious! (laughs) Can you do it again?
Cloud Guy: What?
Poppy: Pause! Come on, guys. What Cloud Guy needs is a nemesis. If we’re gonna help, we’ve got to act really annoyed, got it?
All: Got it. (Later, there are black marks on Mr. Dinkles.)
Mr. Dinkles: Meep.
Biggie: (gasps) You rotten cloud! I’m so cross at you for this! Grr! Irritation!
Cloud Guy: Hm. Promising start. How mad are you?
Biggie: Oh, so mad, I’d have you over for dessert and not offer seconds! (He stomps and looks away.)
Cloud Guy: Huh. (Biggie turns around and kneels.)
Biggie: No! I take it back! I take it back! (sobbing) I take it back! (He lies down. Later, there is a pie thrown in Smidge’s face.)
Smidge: (Running around) Oh, my Guh, Cloud Guy! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh!
Cloud Guy: I can tell she’s faking. (Smidge stops running.)
Smidge: Yeah, he’s right.
Cloud Guy: (sighs) Nice effort, gang, but I’m afraid Branch is just irreplaceable.
Poppy: Yeah. And maybe trying to replace him is our mistake. Maybe you have to let him go before you can open up your heart to irritate someone new.
Cloud Guy: Hm. Maybe you’re right. (At Branch’s bunker, he is eating a cake slice and he hears a knock on the door.)
Branch: Huh? (He goes up the elevator with Gary.) Uh… Cloud Guy?
Cloud Guy: Hello, Branch.
Branch: I’m surprised you knocked. You always just break in.
Cloud Guy: That’s only in places where I’m not welcome. (He folds his arms and looks away.)
Branch: Uh…
Poppy: Ahem. Cloud Guy?
Cloud Guy: Right. Sorry. As you can see, I’m having trouble moving on, Branch, and I need closure.
Branch: Really?
Cloud Guy: So, I’ve come here to end this officially and… return my keys to your place. (He gives some keys to Branch.)
Branch: I never gave you keys!
Cloud Guy: That’s what made it so special. Now, can I grab a few of my things from inside? (Inside Branch’s bunker, he is packing up.) Trap in the chair. (He grabs a trap in Branch’s chair.) Kicking boot in the floor. (He stomps and boots come out of the floor and he puts them in the box.) Scorpion in the… (He sees that the scorpion is gone.) Uh-oh.
Branch: What was that?
Cloud Guy: (Closing the tool chest) Uh… nothing! Now, just one item left. (He puts his hand in Branch’s mouth.)
Branch: Ah! Huh?
Cloud Guy: Tracking device. (chuckles) I implanted it when you were sleeping.
Branch: That’s where that sound was-
Cloud Guy: (Hugging Branch) Shh. Let’s not live in the past. Let’s just say, “Thanks for the good times, obscure noun that rhymes,” and share one final… down low?
Branch: Fine. Go ahead, pull your hand away and say, “Too…” (He touches Cloud Guy’s hand.) Huh? (Cloud Guy hugs him.)
Cloud Guy: (whispering) Good-bye, Branch. (He disappears.)
Branch: Huh? (He looks down to see that Cloud Guy is gone. Soon, he walks outside.) He… He didn’t pull his hand away. I just don’t believe it.
Poppy: Hey, anyone can change, even Cloud Guy.
Branch: Yeah. But can he, though?
Poppy: Uh… What?
Branch: I mean, this is Cloud Guy. Is he really capable of leaving me alone?
Poppy: OK, whoa. Back it up.
Branch: Isn’t it more likely that he’s just pretending to leave alone until I let my guard down?
Poppy: Branch, you’re spiraling.
Branch: So he can nail me with his most exasperating hijinks yet?! (He gasps in horror as he hugs Poppy.)
Poppy: Branch, you have got to relax!
Branch: No, I can’t! If I relax, he’ll just do something like… like… (He hears Cloud Guy laughing and gasps. We can see that Cloud Guy is on a tree.) … drop a bucket of liquid on me! No! (He uses his hair to grab the tree branch and break it.)
Cloud Guy: (He is still in midair) Huh? (He screams as he falls to the ground and his bucket of liquid spills onto Poppy and branch.)
Branch: Huh? (He licks the spilled liquid.) Berries?
Cloud Guy: (Getting up) Yes, Branch. I was helping pick them for Smidge so she could make her annual Flavorberry Pie. (The camera moves over to Smidge about to cry.) I’m sorry, Smidge. There’ll be no pie this year. (Smidge knocks the table over and runs away crying.) Smidge, come back! Smidge! Smidge!
Branch: What?! (Poppy groans and gives him an angry look.) Poppy, I-I know how this looks. But don’t you see, it’s all going exactly how Cloud Guy wants it to?
Poppy: Branch, you’re delusional!
Branch: Oh, am I?
Poppy: Yes.
Branch: Am I?!
Poppy: Yes!
Branch: AM I?!
Poppy: YES!
Branch: (high pitched) AM I?!
Poppy: OK, first off, incredible vocal range. Second, yes!
Branch: Wrong! He is out to get me, and I’m gonna prove it. (Poppy sighs as he runs off. Meanwhile, Cloud Guy is building a machine at Branch’s bunker. He and Poppy peek out of the bushes.) What’s he doing to my bunker? (He sees a trap set on his front door.) See?! He’s just waiting to nail me with that water balloon! (He gets out of the bushes.)
Poppy: Branch, wait!
Branch: A-ha! Busted!
Cloud Guy: Branch!
Branch: (laughs) You thought you had everyone fooled, but you are the same cloud you’ve always been building this obnoxious trap!
Cloud Guy: (sighs) You’re right, Branch. I did build this trap to be annoying.
Branch: See?! Vindication! (He points his finger at Cloud Guy and laughs.)
Cloud Guy: But not toward you.
Branch: Wait, what?
Rufus: Cloud Guy, you wanted to talk? (He touches the vine and the trap turns on. Rufus screams as the huge water balloon hits him.) Cloud Guy, you got me again! And I had to say, it makes me less than thrilled, you rascal!
Branch: I don’t understand.
Cloud Guy: I said I was moving on, Branch.
Branch: (Shaking his head) Rufus is your new rival?
Cloud Guy: we’re trying it out. He’s not as tightly wound as you, but at least he’s not nice to me. Frankly, I think I deserve that. (He looks away sadly.)
Poppy: Anything to say, Branch?
Branch: Well, I guess all I can say is…
Poppy: Go on.
Branch: I’m so… (Cloud Guy turns around with tears in his eyes.) I-I’m s-so… (angry) UNCONVINCED!
Poppy and Cloud Guy: Huh?
Branch: You are not to be trusted, Cloud! Not to be trusted! This rivalry is back on! (He walks away.) Oh, yeah, it’s way back on!
Cloud Guy: (As Poppy and Rufus walk to him) Poor Branch. Even when happiness is so close, some Trolls just can’t get out of their own way.
Poppy and Rufus: Mm-hm.
Cloud Guy: Then again, he is right.
Poppy: Wait, what? (He snaps his fingers and his clone with art clothes appears.) What?!
Cloud Guy: I had to find some way to win Branch back, didn’t I? (He eats his clone.)
Poppy: You mean, all this time I thought Branch was in the wrong, but really it was… it was-
Cloud Guy: (Tap dancing) It was… me. (He winks at the screen.)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Trolls: The Beat Goes On! transcripts
Category:TBGO Season 8 episode transcripts