Alpha Nintendo Entertainment System

The Alpha Nintendo Entertainment System is THE Nintendo console.
Hyped up by Nintendo as the most powerful console on Earth, surpassing even the Xbox Series X, it was reported to be developed in cooperation with a mysterious new business reporter referred to as "Alchemax", bringing technology beyond the console industry's wildest dreams to the current world.
==Features==
*A stereoscopic 3D screen, now remastered in console quality. Nintendo fans could now play Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS in Ultra HD - assuming people still play that one, anyway.
*Motion controls return, now refined with the new 4K Rumble feature. It allows players to really FEEL those punches in Wii Sports boxing.
*Handheld mode comes with four screens now. Play Mario Kart DS on one side and Mario Kart 7 on the other!
*Because we couldn't come up with an interesting new feature no one has seen before, we've also added a full VR mode! Now you can really don the armor of Samus Aran in Metroid Prime with nothing else interfering with your game experience... supposedly.
*Oh, in case we didn't already make it clear, ALL games on ALL previous Nintendo consoles can be played on the Alpha Nintendo, any way you want.
*The Alpha Nintendo Online service is absolutely free, but still at a higher level of quality than Xbox Live!
**(For now.)
==Conception and production==
The reveal of Sony's PSfive - a hybrid console version of the PlayStation 5 that was deemed by random people on the internet to be the "Switch Killer" and went on to sell very well despite basically having the same games as the original PS5 - left Nintendo scrambling to find a way to survive in the console industry, despite the PSfive posing no legitimate threat to the Nintendo Switch itself.
Nintendo was approached by a mysterious corporation named Alchemax, who had the technology they needed to preserve their status as "king of the console industry". They agreed that Nintendo would need to go full force with "crazy cool" features to take down Sony once and for all. (By the way, remember when Nintendo and Sony were originally going to work together but the deal collapsed because Nintendo chose to work with Phillips instead? Keep that in mind.)
Because Nintendo couldn't understand the technology Alchemax was showing them, they decided to just use it to incorporate every feature of their previous consoles and enhance it.
==Reception==
When announced at Mystery Game Expo 20XX, the new "Alpha Nintendo Entertainment System" was praised by several Nintendo fans but lambasted by critics.
"ANES? Really?" said Tim Turi, former Game Informer magazine employee.
"Does Nintendo even know what they're doing anymore...?" said some random Fantendo user.
"It doesn't have Knack 2, 0/5" said YouTuber Videogamedunkey.
Upon release the so-called "ultimate Nintendo console" turned out to have several faults. The Alpha Nintendo was criticized for a lack of focus or depth in its features, with some complaining that the four-screen tablet had a frame surrounding each screen, ruining the immersion of the VR mode, and others calling out Nintendo for causing their TV screens to burn up while using stereoscopic 3D in docked mode.
Although the Alpha Nintendo was supposedly built to be stronger than the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X, its backwards compatibility with every previous Nintendo console caused a lot of older games to crash while running newer ones due to overloaded memory. In some cases the console even exploded, causing massive fires in multiple neighborhoods.
The Alpha Nintendo's only new game was Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Competitive Championship Edition Ultra HD 3D Deluxe, which was basically Super Smash Bros. Ultimate but with absolutely everything from past games (including older versions of characters like Fox and Meta Knight) as well as every character who has ever been requested by anyone in the fanbase ever. IGN stated, "SSBUCCEUHD3DD is pretty much a representation of how the Alpha Nintendo just doesn't work - it claims to be everything you've ever wanted, but the lack of balance or consistency makes it an unplayable mess."
The Alpha Nintendo Entertainment System was deemed a failure on every regard. After Nintendo was sued for the destruction caused by the console, they were forced to take it off the store shelves and dispose of them in landfills. Nintendo went bankrupt and eventually had no other option but to sell all of their IPs to Sony. Karma.
As for Alchemax... no one knows what happened to them, but apparently they're the biggest corporation in the world in the distant future.
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