"The Biggest Joke and Prank" transcript

==Scene 1: The PS 118 School lunchroom==
Phoebe: "What could be keeping Harold?"
Arnold: "Here he comes right now."
Harold: "Hey, you guys."
Arnold: "Hey, Harold, you mind scooting right down at the end?"
Harold: "Sure, Arnold, you saving that for somebody?"
Arnold: "Sorry, Harold, that's on a need to know basis."
Gerald: (off screen) "Wild Crow to Black Sparrow, come in Black Sparrow."
Arnold: "Black Sparrow here, over."
Gerald: "The cockroach has entered the motel."
Arnold: "Roger that, Black Sparrow to magpie, did you copy that?"
Helga: "Affirmative, Black Sparrow, operation sticky face is go, I repeat, operation sticky face is go."
Arnold: "Bingo."
Arnold sees Curly standing by......
Arnold: "Hey, Curly, how's it going?"
Curly: "Uh, just fine, I guess."
Arnold: "That's a good looking Salisbury steak you have here, would you care to join all of us?"
Curly: "So, you're not still disturbed about this morning?"
Arnold: "So you told Principal Wartz I covered the entire mud puddle with a bunch of grass and leaves and placed a banana cream pie right in the middle of it, big deal, I just say let bygones be bygones."
Curly: "Well, in that case, I'd like to join you guys, eating alone is very overrated."
Arnold: "Perfect."
Curly takes his seat at the school cafeteria lunch table.
Arnold: "Scoot over for just 1 bit, Curly."
Curly begins scooting over.
Arnold: "Whoops, wrong way."
Curly scoots over again.
Arnold: "There, perfectly good, are you more comfortable, Curly?"
Curly: "I'm good, wow, this is real nice of you guys, considering all of the junk I-"
Arnold: "Oh my gosh, Harold, they're giving away a free good cherry cobbler!"
Harold: "Free good cherry cobbler?!? alright!"
Harold gets up from his bench seat, but Curly trips over on a skateboard, then a kick-ball bounces off, which causes a bucket of leftover oatmeal to get all over himself.
Curly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[All PS 118 Students Laughing Wildly]
Helga: "Yes, yes, perfect."
Curly: "Oh man, leftover oatmeal, I'll get you for this, Arnold Shortman, mark my words!"
===Outside on the PS 118 School Courtyard===
Gerald: "That was the coolest joke and prank ever, man."
Helga: "Yeah right, Arnold, you're the best at everything else."
Arnold: "It really was pure genius, wasn't it?"
Torvald: "Are you Arnold Shortman?"
Arnold: "Why, yes, of course I am."
Edmund: "You're coming with both of us."
Later at Wolfgang's base.......
Wolfgang: "So, this is the young 5th grade boy who humiliated Kenny here in the school lunchroom."
Curly: "That's Curly, Wolfgang sir."
Wolfgang: "I suppose you think this was hilarious."
Arnold: "That's exactly what I'm hearing."
Torvald: "What are you gonna do with him? turn him over to Principal Wartz and give him 17 minutes of detention for the rest of his entire life?"
Wolfgang: "Well, extend my congratulations."
Arnold: "But, Wolfgang, I-"
Wolfgang: "Maybe I never made myself understandable, I'm through with you, but you intrigue me, it takes quite a prank master to pull off a real big prank as brave as yours."
Principal Wartz: (off screen) "Arnold?"
Arnold: [Gasps In Shock] "Principal Wartz!"
Sid: "Uh oh, it looks like Arnold's in real big trouble."
Principal Wartz: "You're coming with me, young man."
Arnold and Principal Wartz go inside the PS 118 school building.......
Gerald: "Oh man, playin' jokes and pranks on other people can be 29 minutes of detention."
Meanwhile in Principal Wartz's office..........
Arnold: "Alright, so I played that joke and prank on him, what's the deal anyway?"
Principal Wartz: "Arnold Shortman, I don't need to remind you that playing jokes and pranks on other school students is a direct violation of school policy."
Arnold: "Who? Curly? he didn't mind too much, I do it to him all the time."
Brief pause
Arnold: "What? you'd probably play jokes and pranks on somebody just to get back at them."
Principal Wartz: "That does it, I've got no other choice but to punish you and give you 29 minutes of detention for the rest of your entire life!"
Mr. Simmons: "Principal Wartz, let me handle this."
Mr. Simmons: "Arnold, the point isn't to punish you or give you 29 minutes of detention, we just want you to be more careful in the future."
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