2013-02-20 Live From New York... its Fear and Luck

The voice of the announcer increases in volume, "...Tonight's guests include the flying Manicotti brothers, that movie star who's more plastic than flesh and married to that Scientologist guy, plus our old friend and zoologist Jack Hammenaschamm with some feathered friends. And now, straight from somewhere or other that's really funny, the guy who does it best of all the 52 late night comedians, Rob Arglebargley'know!" Applause. Straight from the heart. Nothing to do with the flashing red APPLAUSE sign that's flashing. Red. The tall, skinny host of the show trips out from behind velvet curtains and coughs. "Hello, everybody, how are you tonight?"
In the darkness of the half full audience seating, Alexander slumps into his chair, wondering why he chose this of all shows to break into.
Longshot couldn't believe his luck! He got a ticket to this show and it only cost him $100! The man out front shouting tickets told him it was a special deal and gave him special seat! Everyone else got free tickets that weren't as good as this is! And the popcorn! How he loved the popcorn and it was a steal at $20! And this was one his favorite shows... granted they were all his favorite shows, but still! What luck!
A plant in the audience finally yells out, "WE'RE AWESOME, ROB! HOW ARE YOU!?" Rob shuffles a bit with hands inside his jacket pockets. "I'm great, thanks for asking. I've been having an especially good time watching these rap video bar mitzvah invitations. Have you seen these? Yeah?" And so on, and so forth. The monologue finally and blessedly ends, he takes a seat, and four sparkplug shaped swarthy five-foot tall aerialist/acrobats come out and plays yuks to borderline racist jokes from the host before setting up a sequence involving them rocketing each other through the air in somersaults, with lots of knives being thrown every which way in the process. Rob, watching from his seat, seems a bit nervous. Especially when two of the Manicotti brothers start arguing and pushing each other. And then a knife flies down and embeds itself in the host's desk.
Alexander perks up at the amazing antics and the sight of knives being used so inappropriately. "Okay. I can get into this."
Longshot watched the performance and thought |I can do better than that! These guys are total amateurs!| And since impulse control wasn't something Longshot was good at, and being the center of attention was something else that Longshot was really good at (some might say he was designed for it.) He took one of his own blades from its hidden holsters, and said, "Oh come on! These guys don't know what they are doing! Watch this!"
With that he leapt out of his seat, his left eye seeming to glow bright white light as he did. In the air he preformed triple-somersault from his position in the middle of the audience to just short of the stage. And as he leapt he threw his blade which hit perfectly against one of the knives causing it flip seemingly randomly into the air but instead it headed towards Longshot.
With a grin he grabbed the knife by its hilt and shouted, "Gotcha!" and proceeded to balance it on his finger, revealing his inhuman four fingered hands, "I mean seriously you guys, this is kindergarden stuff you should try harder."
Silence from everyone on stage and from everyone in the audience. And the applause. Real applause. Rob, the host, is laughing, more nervously now. He's looking around trying to figure out what's going on here. But you can't argue with applause. The Flying Manicottis, on the other hand, do NOT look pleased. "You a'horning in on our a starring night!? We show a you!" HUP HUP! Tweezing his mustachio he claps his hands twice and his three brothers run at him full speed. He weaves his hands together and squats, taking each brother's foot in hands and launching them up and at Longshot. All three. All three with daggers in each hand, a mess a muscle and bad attitudes.
Alexander is on his feet and completely sucked in by these developments. I mean he recognizes that in a way this isn't a show... those beefy near-midgets mean to hurt the blond guy with the skills, but it's all so refreshingly live and exciting. Who knows... someone might actually kill the host!
The light from the scar next to Longshot's eye died down into nothing and he smiled from ear to ear as he saw the flying brothers heading at him. He shouted loudly, Challenge accepted!
He felt at home for the first time since he was saving that child from those demons. He had no idea why this felt so right, but the cameras, the action, the combat! This was the life Longshot didn't even realize he still craved.
He reached into his hidden arm bandoliers and pulled out a total of six more blades, one held between each of his fingers. Crossing his arms together, he jumped up with the height on an Olympic long jumper and swept his arms wide, all six blades went flying out as his eye began to glow white again.
Each of the Manicottis Brothers found one of the blades hitting hard against their own daggers and another one slicing through one side of their mustaches. When he landed he was just in front of the front row and just out of range of where they were going to land.
CHING CHING CHING CHING CHING CHING. 12 knives in, 12 knives out. None of them stuck in a person. More wild applause at Longshot's antics as he's recorded for tonight's broadcast. Alexander watches all five figures moving, paying special attention to how Longshot lets the knives fly. He swings his arms and goes through the motions comparing it to his own training. The Manicotti's aren't stopping for all this however. The hit the ground rolling and HUP HUP catch the knives tossed to them by their fourth member who joins them in gang rushing Longshot. Two leapfrog off of the backs of the remaining two, assaulting from on high, while the lower two rush in towards 'Shot from opposite sides, arms out, knives brandished. "Uh, whoa, now, boys..." the host stutters from his desk. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea..."
If it weren't obvious that Longshot was more than a regular person before this it would be now. The movements of Longshot definitely seemed beyond the capabilities of a regular person as he slid between the legs of the leapfrogee brother only to flip immediately and land on his bad and push off with a hard double kick for his troubles. Now in the air, Longshot's eye shone even brighter as he grabbed four blades blades and threw them in either direction cutting off even more of the mustaches. And finally while still in mid-air he flipped over to kick the airborne brother directly in the stomach before landing on his back and flipping back to his feet, ready for more action.
"This is fun! By the way, my name's Longshot!" He said excitedly to his opponents.
The mess of bodies flying alongside knives now makes it hard to tell what's happening, but when everyone comes to a stop, with Longshot on top (so to speak) announcing his name, the crowd goes nuts. Finally, it seems, the Italian brothers have had their fill and they help each other up, staggering off stage. Rob jumps to his feet and rushes out from behind his desk. He pats Longshot on the shoulder and plays to the camera. "And there you have it, folks. The Flying Manicottis and Lungshot! We'll be right back after these messages!" As the lights die down for commercial, Rob rushes back to his desk and lights up a cigarette with a jittery hand. "I can't believe no one got hurt. If someone got hurt we'd be cancelled for sure. Oh my god where is my Scotch?"
Alexander is now holding his body up upside down using one hand on the back of a chair while with the other he's getting ready to throw a knife. That's when security notices him and begins rushing towards him.
Longshot raises his hands in triumph and cheers with the crowd and then takes a small bow, "Thank you! Thank you!"
He then began to pick up his own blades and store them again, probably oblivious to the fact that security was coming him as well. Then when Rob gets his name wrong, "Hey! That's Longshot! Not Lung-" That's when he sees the guards heading for the 'kid.' A run and a jump and a flash from his eye and he jumps all the way up to them and puts them himself between Alexander and them, "Hey! He's just a kid leave him alone!"
The security guards slow down and come to a complete stop as an inhumanly agile guy with knives all over him drops in front of their prey. The quickly huddle and then break. The lead representative says, "We don't get paid enough to handle this." Then they turn and head for the food table back stage. Alex tugs on Longshot's arm. "Nice moves up there, but I'd recommend severing an artery on your first throw if you don't want them attacking you again."
Longshot looks at the 'kid' incredulously, "Um, that probably would of killed them. I mean, yeah they weren't really good at their jobs but... killing them, that'd be kind of... wrong. I was just showing them up, and getting on TV, for some reason I really wanted to be on TV."
Longshot's face soured and he thought of something dire, something horrible that he didn't even think of. Something that would cause horrible ramifications for him, "I forgot to say 'hi' to Felicia! She's going to kill me!"
Alexander cocks his head. "Well yeah, I guess. It did look pretty cool cutting their mustaches off like that. But I'm not sure you've really through through this TV thing too well. People will know you. Then they'll start coming for you. Take my word for it." His watch starts beeping. He looks at it and sighs. "My time's up. If I don't get out of here now they're going to drop an extraction team in here and that means a big mess. Anyway, I'll watch for you on Youtube. Hopefully it won't be some kind of horrible last stand. But if it is, go for the arteries. Take care."
Longshot gave the 'kid' another look and said, "Extraction team?" Something was hitting deep inside Longshot, some sort of memory that he couldn't quite remember. It was right there. A fat face with wires and... |NO! Don't think about him or he'll find you!|
He thought for a second longer and part of him deep inside said, "Okay kid, do you need help? Are you part of the resistance!? Do you need me to get you away... from him."
During Longshot's little fugue state Alexander slipped away and is now weaving his way through the audience. Along the way he manages to grab a different colored hoodie and a baseball cap and then he's just gone. Apparently he has a knack for vanishing. The people in the audience now begin pressing in on Longshot, asking for autographs.
Longshot turned and looked for the 'kid' one more time, "I hope you get away," he whispered. And turned to the 'adoring fans' he just gained and signed autographs, in some wierd scrip that wasn't even remotely human based. And when he saw the cops charge in for the Fugitive from the Con Edison heist he said, "Alright everyone, time for me to go!"
With a leap he nearly got to the stage, and by the time the police made it to the backstage area Longshot was already up the drainpipe and three buildings over. He had forgotten he was wanted for Grand Theft.
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