Damaged Horns (Transcript)

Derrick continues having a discussion with his so-called best friend, Paul.
Derrick: You're supposed to be my best friend and you're literally blaming me for damaging Asriel, understudy Asriel, Toriel and Asgore's horns whenever I've told you a million times that I haven't.
Paul: (sighs) Listen, all I'm saying is that it doesn't look too good for you right now so, if you just go ahead and be honest with the directors and admit that you destroyed Tubbo, Oli, Kristin and Philza's horns-
Derrick: We get it, you've said the same thing like 50 times. I had no clue that there were horns in the dressing room-
Paul: At this point, there's no coming back from it. I mean, there's nothing you can do. It's not like anyone has any proof to back you up.
Derrick: I thought you had my back.
Paul: Everyone thinks that you did it. Literally everyone. I mean, who else would it have been? Also, I don't know if you've heard, probably not since you're not allowed in the theatre but there's a mic missing.
Derrick: You just can't trust anyone in this business, out of everyone in this entire show, I thought you would have my back but I guess I was just wrong.
Paul: Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna be really sad not having my best friend in shows with me anymore, but you kind of did this to yourself.
Derrick: Man, everyone is just so jealous of me. It's crazy, everyone is out to get me in this show for no reason. I've done nothing to deserve this. Literally nothing. I literally didn't damage the horns. The directors are going to check the cameras right now.
Paul: What? There's no cameras in the dressing room.
Derrick: Well, yeah, not in the dressing room. Unless you want me to get some nudes. But there's cameras in the hallway, did you not know that? They're gonna find out who did it. Do you know what happened to the horns? Do you know?
Paul: Erm...
Derrick: They have ways of seeing who did it. So they're gonna go look and see.
Meanwhile, Zoe and Raphael were talking to Martha and Alice in the dressing room.
Martha: Who would do that? Alice and I took so long to make these. Do you know who did this?
Zoe: That's erm... that's what we're still trying to figure out.
Alice: Was it that child groomer? Cuz if it was him, I swear. He's had so many problems. If it was him-
Raphael: You know, that would make sense, it would, but he has completely denied it so we're just gonna check the cameras. You wouldn't happen to know if the cameras out in the hall still work, do you?
Martha: Well, let's hope they do because we're gonna find out who did this. We'll go look with you-
Zoe: And we are sorry that we have to come in here and we have to ask costumes to do a quick horn fix 2 days before dress. You didn't see anyone coming in and out of this dressing room, did you? With the horns?
Alice: No, no, we didn't see anything. We've gotten out of here early, actually, a couple days-
Raphael: Okay, okay, no problem, I just hope the cameras work.
Martha: I mean, there was that guy with the white shirt but-
Zoe: Huh-
Alice: Yeah, he came in and he said that he was looking for something? Erm...
Raphael: That's odd.
Martha: You don't think it was him, do you?
Zoe: I am not sure.
Raphael: What if it was him?
Alice: Maybe, let's check the cameras.
Martha, Alice, Zoe and Raphael went down to the basement where the directors could see the footage. It is a huge mess now because of tech week.
Zoe: Okay, erm... excuse the mess, it's tech week, we'll get it clean sometime.
Martha: No, you're totally fine. I get it.
Raphael: Yeah, been a little bit stressful.
Alice: Just a little-
Zoe: (sighs) Okay, okay, erm... footage. Thankfully they haven't completely forgotten about us yet. Cameras still work in the hall so.
Martha: Oh good-
Raphael: We were able to get the footage.
Alice: I was worried about that.
Zoe: Let's look and see. Let's figure out who damaged the horns.
Martha: Yeah, I'm excited to figure out who we're gonna speak to. Have a little chat.
Raphael: Okay.
They all looked through the footage and saw Paul in disguise with a blonde curly wig.
Zoe: Is that a blonde..?
Alice: Is that? Oh there he is with the-
Raphael: What? (sighs) What is he doing-
Paul started throwing the horns to the ground and started stepping on them.
Zoe: Did he..?
Martha: Is he, in the hall?
Raphael: Why is he wearing a blonde wig? Did he really think we weren't gonna see?
Alice: I can't, I can't keeping watching this, I-
Then, he hid the horns behind the big.
Martha: You're kidding, you're kidding me. Is he dumb? Is he dumb? (sighs) I can't, I can't keep watching this. I can't keep watching this. Where is he? Where is he. He's wearing a blonde wig in the hallway for what? Did he think that was gonna disguise him or something?
Paul: Hey, erm... can I talk to you for a second?
Zoe: Oh hello.
Alice: Yeah, I think we do need to have a talk.
Paul: Hi! Erm... what do you mean?
Martha: You wanna explain this footage?
Paul: Footage? What footage?
Alice: Oh, don't act like you don't know. Did you really think we weren't gonna catch you on the cameras? You're really gonna go out in the hall and damage the horns in the hall? You have five seconds to explain to us why you think it's okay to destroy the horns-
Paul: Erm... okay, I literally have no clue what you're talking about. If you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the directors. I didn't come back here to speak to costumes. I came back here to speak to the directors-
Raphael: We do need to have a conversation. We do. But do not disrespect costumes. They can speak to you if they need to. And they need to.
Martha: After what you pulled, you're still going to talk to me like that? You do not want to mess with me.
Zoe: I need you to look at this footage right here and I need you to explain to me what was going on.
Paul watched the footage.
Paul: That's not me.
Alice: What do you mean it's not you? We literally have you on camera.
Paul: I have, I literally don't know who that is.
Martha: Er... look at the screen.
Paul: That could be literally anyone and you're just going to blame me? For destroying the horns? Whatever, that's literally not even me on the camera.
Alice: You're literally wearing the exact same shirt.
Raphael: Did you think we weren't gonna see? Did you think we weren't gonna see? And then you're gonna disguise yourself in a blonde wig?
Paul: I've never worn a blonde wig in my life. But you know who has? You know who has? Derrick.
Zoe: Okay, no, listen, it's definitely not him-
Martha: It's very clearly not him.
Raphael: Do you think we can't see? Because the proof is right there on the screen. Look at it.
Paul: That's not me.
Alice: You're gonna look at that footage and tell me that's not you whenever you're literally wearing the exact same shirt?
Paul: (laughs) Erm... okay, you're actually being ridiculous right now.
Zoe: You think this is funny?
Paul: No, I don't think it's funny, I-
Raphael: Because it's not.
Martha: You think it's funny to destroy costumes? You have no clue the amount of work we've put into that.
Zoe: Dress rehearsals is in 2 days. 2 days. And you decide to destroy these horns for what?
Paul: It's not me-
Raphael: You're not gonna lie your way out of this one. You can't. There's no way. You are on footage. In your shirt. We can see your hair underneath the wig. You didn't even put the wig on right.
Alice: You can see your hair underneath it.
Paul: Listen, that is very clearly Derrick on the camera. 
Derrick: Erm... what's me?
Then, Derrick entered the room.
Paul: Oh look at that. He's already trying to blame me.
Derrick: What? 
Paul: Like you don't know.
Zoe: Okay, what are you doing back here?
Derrick: Okay, listen, I just came back here to finally be proven right.
Raphael: Proven right? What do you mean proven right?
Derrick: That I didn't destroy the horns. Everyone's been on me for literally no reason at all about it so I came back here to finally be proven right. I mean you did say you were going to check the footage.
Zoe: (sighs) Yes, yep, we did see that you did not destroy the horns.
Paul: Erm... he literally did. You can see him on the screen.
Raphael: No, you don't get to talk. We literally have you on camera. How many times do I have to tell you to look at that screen?
Paul: Okay, but literally, how is that me?
Zoe: That is you on the footage.
Derrick: Okay, you're so annoying. You're really gonna look at that and say that that's me?
Paul: You're literally wearing that blonde wig you wore that one time at rehearsal and I've never touched a blonde wig in my life. I don't even like the wig.
Derrick: That is not me. That's literally you.
Paul: Erm... okay, it's not-
Derrick: We can see you on the footage.
Paul: Whatever, you are such a liar.
Derrick: Wow, my best friend. My very best friend is against me. This business, this business is so toxic. Show business. You can't trust anyone. You literally can't trust anyone. You know, I really thought we could count on each other but now I found out that you're trying to frame me? For what? So I can never be in a show again because you're just jealous of me? Sorry that my family's a rich Mexican family and I can afford voice lessons so I can be on Broadway someday and you can't do that because no amount of voice lessons would ever even amount to you having even a little bit of talent ever-
Paul: Your mum literally pays for a voice teacher that doesn't even voice teach you. She just tells you that you're good because she wants to get paid. If you seriously think you're ever gonna be on Broadway. (laughs) The closest you'll ever get to Broadway is if you buy a ticket. And even then, I don't know if they'd let you in.
Derrick: Erm-
Paul: You're literally the type of person who would buy tickets in the orchestra pit or whatever and then say that an agent noticed you from onstage. I bet you probably sing along to Broadway shows too.
Derrick: Don't even start-
Raphael: Okay, guys.
Raphael interrupted the discussion or argument between Paul and Derrick.
Paul: I'm not gonna let him just attack me the way he's been attacking me.
Derrick: But regardless of that, that's not me in the video. Never would I ever put on a wig that terribly. I don't think I've ever seen someone put on a wig that poorly in my entire life. Like I think a 5-year-old could probably put on a wig better than that. You can literally see your hair underneath it. That is so tacky and disgusting. That's awful. I literally wear my hair like this every single day you think I don't know how to put on a wig? You think I wouldn't know how to put on a wig? You couldn't pay me to put on a wig that awfully.
Paul: Well, obviously you were having some sort of issue in that video. That's not me in the video. You very clearly stole my sweater-
Derrick: Sorry, but no offence, but I would never even think about trying to steal that nasty, tacky, disgusting, gross, ugly white sweater that you wear like every single day. I wouldn't even think about it and I definitely would not touch it or try it on. It probably has like sweat stains on it or something.
Paul: Erm... everything you just said is so false right now-
Derrick: You're trying to frame me for no reason because you're jealous and you don't want me to be in shows anymore because you know I'm gonna take all your roles from here on out. Sorry that I'm naturally born and gifted with talent and you're not. And I literally have no clue how many times I'm gonna have to say this but I would not destroy horns that I am going to have to wear.
Paul: Whatever. You are absolutely delusional. You literally can't even reach counter tenor to save your life.
Zoe: Just drop it. I cannot handle more drama for tonight-
Derrick: You know, I deserve an apology from like everyone here.
Raphael: For what?
Derrick: You're the directors and you literally tried blaming me for destroying Asriel, understudy Asriel, Toriel and Asgore's gloves whenever you literally have footage of someone else doing it.
Zoe: (sighs) Yeah, I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn't gather the evidence before coming on so hard on you-
Derrick: Well, thank you. You should be.
Raphael: But based on your history-
Derrick: That literally shouldn't even matter.
Zoe: Well, it does. It does. How many times did you do something to try to negatively impact this show? But you on the other hand, out of this show.
Paul: What?
Raphael: You're gonna pay for the horns that you destroyed.
Paul: I didn't destroy the horns-
Zoe: You are going to pay for the horns that you destroyed. And you are out of this show, actually, you're out of all shows. Forever.
Paul: What? But we open in-
Raphael: I don;t care. I do not care. We can replace you. That does not bother me. Not at all. Nope. We can replace you-
Derrick: I'll take his spot. I mean, it was mine.
Zoe: Yeah, no. Cara can.
Derrick: Why? He literally destroyed Asriel, understudy Asriel, Toriel and Asgore's horns and stole my role in the show-
Raphael: Just because he did what he did doesn't mean that you also haven't done very bad things in this show as well.
Derrick: Like what? What did I do?
Zoe: Did you think I was just gonna forget how you tried on Frisk's costume?
Derrick: Well, yeah, but this is like a desperate measure. We are almost opening like this is like desperate times. Why don't you just give me back my role in the show so there's no problem-
Raphael: No. You're not. I'm not gonna let you back into the show. No. It's too late for that. We can reblock the scenes.
Derrick: But I literally know the parts though and it's gonna look awkward without a monster number 5. And like, an echo flower in Waterfall or whatever else I was-
Zoe: No, you're not gonna be let back into the show. I'm not taking that risk. You haven't even been in the show for a long time now. You probably don't even know half of your original blocking because you were so busy focusing on everyone else's part but yours whenever you were in this show-
Derrick: Okay, no, I know all my parts. I was fully memorised the first day of rehearsal.