Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart

:Buy a ski mask and a bunch of dark clothes and tell the cashier that you need to go to the bank.
:Go ask a teen male employee and to show you the tampons.
:Hide in the pillow displays and jump out at random people.
:Hide in the clothing racks and yell, "Pick me! Pick me! when people browse through.
:Fight down the isles with Star Wars Jedi swords.
:Glue a quarter to the floor and watch as people try to pick it up.
:Go to the broom section and yell UP!
:*Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
:*Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
:*Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
:*Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
:*Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
:*Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
:*Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
:*Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
:*When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
:*Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
:*Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10”.
:*Play with the automatic doors.
:*Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!...” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
:*While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who buys this crap, anyway?”
:*Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
:*Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
:*Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
:*Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
:*As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
:*Put M&M’s on layaway.
:*Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
:*Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
:*Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
:*Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
:*Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “...I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Batcave!”
:*TP as much of the store as possible.
:*Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
:*Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
:*When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
:*When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
:*Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
:*Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
:*Take bets on the battle described above.
:*Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
:*While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
:*Hold indoor shopping cart races.
:*Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.
:*Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
:*Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
:*Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
:*Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
42.Two words: “Marco Polo.”
:*Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
:*“Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
:*In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.
:*When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
:*Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
:*When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
:*Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
:*Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Category:Business Humor