S07E06: The Gang Avoids Scope Creep and Moves On

== Previously on MCVFD ==
We are currently in Limbo! We are working with a Drakeguard branch in Limbo that went no contact with our Drakeguard after Momma P took over and stayed in power.The first job we took for them was to re-establish one of the Drakeguard monitoring facilities that watches He Who Sleeps.
We met some Chaos Beasts and had some incredibly difficult fights, but ultimately triumphed. We’re now in the observation room (which isn’t trashed like the others) where there is a window slit and telescopes on tracks so you can monitor from this location. The window slit has a very wide aperture that provides a view of both He Who Sleeps and the Gith city.
In the room there are 5 glowing crystal platform pillar things. 4 of them were glowing red, 1 is glowing green, and they are all labeled with the names of the research bases (Omega is green).
There are 2 people in here: 1 creature made of stone that appears to be talking to a badly burned corpse. As he talked to us, he changed form (burst into flames for a moment, then water) - it seems to be tied to something, maybe his emotions? Moody recognized him as a Petitioner and says he’s surprised to find one here. The Petitioner several times referred to this as his observatory and seems very pleased with it. Note: Petitioners are a generic term referring to the inhabitants of certain planes. This guy is a Petitioner of limbo. 
== Session ==
Nissa knows that Limbo’s Petitioners are living thinking clumps of primal chaos mass, who manifest themselves as something specific (column or rock, wall of fire, etc.) but don’t remain in any form for long. They’re so frivolous they’re likely to get distracted at a moment’s notice. Some of them can be interacted with and can even act as guides through Limbo. They hold little value on anything as they can simply will anything they might want into existence, except for one thing: petitioners have a love for stories, and a traveler can offer stories to Petitioners for trade, though they should be aware that they can get bored and potentially violent when disinterested.
The Petitioner gives us his full name which is so long even he looks a little bored, and then says we can call him the Professor.
He tells us he only just recently acquired the observatory since it appears to not be used and that he’s annoyed that the dead body is no longer talking to him.
Nissa casts Speak with the Dead, which was apparently renamed to “Grr, Arg” in her spell sheet.
Nissa asks him what happened to the observatory. He first freaks out that he’s dead but at least not on fire anymore. He tells us that one of his coworkers was infected with Chaos Phage and that he only had time to bolt the door, then there was screaming and horrible noises outside, and then he was on fire.
Nissa asks if it was unusual that his coworker had caught Chaos Phage, given all the protective gear they usually have. He says it does happen, usually it’s fine if you’re taking all the necessary precautions, but sometimes it can spread like wildfire.
Nissa asks if the base was fully operational before the Chaos Phage hit. He answers that this base was, but the others weren’t. If someone sits in a communication platform in another base, it establishes a psionic link. Usually the crystal, a harmonic thing that was Bob’s job to maintain, keeps an echo of the last thing they heard, so we might be able to hear the last transmission sent.
Nissa asks how we can get the station back online. Sounds like it’s just a matter of the station being staffed, which is just a matter of clearing out the chaos infection.Nissa: We’re a group of people with a very special set of skills.Dead body: Oh like in Taken?Nissa: yesDead body: Love itNissa: Except the, uh, opposite actuallyNissa asks if he had any last messages to pass on. He gives us the address of his mom and then says to tell her she owes him 40 bucks.Kanye: What happens when you die? Since there are planes and stuff, when you die in the material plane you end up…Averlyth: You just get moved to another server dude, don’t overthink itDM: When you die in US-West, you get moved to US-EastNissa notifies the Professor that Gith Zorai will be showing up. He’s very excited at the idea of using tools, but less excited about people coming in. Nissa starts to teach him how to share; Averlyth immediately questions whether or not it’s in scope to convince him to leave.
Averlyth ends up convincing him to stay put while we go to the other bases and hear “stories” in the crystals. Um makes his way towards the telescopes, but then Averlyth runs in front of him and looks through first. She learns that only one is pointed at He Who Sleeps - the rest was pointed through the Gith city. Um goes to the sticky notes instead, and sees a whole bunch of mind-numbingly boring comments that basically amount to “He Who Sleeps - no changes”.
Um does find a logbook labeled “Eyes only - Woolmaster Observations”. Inside, most of the logs are fairly innocuous, but there are some that are like “8:14 AM, Wosley arrives with starbucks. 6:15 PM Wosley leaves and goes to pubs” It’s unclear if they were supposed to be doing again. 
Um sees a sticky note that says something about “stupid naming scheme, can never remember”
Beta = Yggdrasil (looking at the roots of the giant tree that links the planes)
Gamma = Spawning Stone (where all the Slaad come from, created accidentally by the Modrons)
Delta = Phenomar (Deep dark forest in Limbo, home of an Elvish god of the hunt, where all Elvish rangers come to train)
Epsilon = Warriors Rest (All warrior spirits of LImbo come for eternal combat, when they die they are reborn and fight over and over, red team vs blue team)
Omega = He Who Sleeps
He takes it and gives it to Nissa. Kanye also takes the Logbook, Nissa puts it in her P0 folder.
Kanye asks the Petitioner what kinds of observations he’s intending to make. He talks a big game and is excited about shiny new toys, but the longer he talks, the more it’s clear he has no idea what he’s talking about. Um’s dog is forcing him to pet him.
Nissa asks Moodhouse which base is closest. He says in an abstract sense, they’re stationed equidistantly in Limbo, but in reality they’re all moving around all the time. Um asks if walking to them takes the same amount of time or if it depends on whoever is manifesting the path for us. Moody doesn’t give us a straight answer, but it doesn’t seem like he’s being intentionally difficult.
Averlyth asks if it’s feasible to go to the other bases all at once. Moody says we might not want to do it all in one trip, may depend on the echoes. Kanye asks how we can walk to the other one, Moody reminds us he’s our guide. Averlyth asks if it’s weird that the telescopes are pointed at the city. He thinks it’s a little weird, but doesn’t know anything else about the station.
Kanye confirms that no one is left alive, Averlyth confirms that there is no transmission to check while at this station.
Averlyth goes and sits at the pedestal labeled Beta and thinks about Bane, hoping to make a psionic connection with someone in another base. After a moment, she hears the echo of a bored voice saying “Status Report Normal, no changes, for the 306th week in a row, the Modron March has not begun. End report.”
Nissa tells us that this is a once a generation event where the Modrons march through every single plane, where it comes through the roots of the World Tree. It’s wildly disruptive, and it is unclear why this station is offline. Reminder: We saved Nordom with the power of friendship and the dewey decimal system, and he’s now just a happy little worker that likes organizing things away from the hivemind.
Averlyth goes to the pedestal for Gamma to get the voicemail for the Spawning Station. She sits down, feeling a little cocky and thinking there was no way to mis-use the spell, then sits down crooked and gets the psychic equivalent of feedback. She falls off the chair.
Nissa sits down on the same pedestal and plops right into the position. She hears a squeal of feedback - the person on the other end going “fuck fuck fuck fuck the Slaad are attacking! We need backup, we need backup!” and then some crashing noises. Kanye votes to go to the Yggdrasil station.
We can’t tell when the messages are sent, but we guess that none of them are too old since this station was functioning a few weeks ago.
Nissa and Averlyth sit down in Delta and Epsilon respectively and simultaneously. Nissa hears a haughty voice: “Hark and attention, this station has been seized by the fey court for unauthorized poaching” something something all staff members had the choice of either amputation or indentured servitude and can now be found at the court. Averlyth hears a frazzled voice: “Status report, our station has become unmoored and is drifting closer to the combat zone” and then suddenly “New opponents have entered the arena!”. 
Kanye is excited to sit on the green pedestal which indicates that someone’s sitting at another station. He high fives everyone on the way and sits himself down.Kanye: Can I investigate if the seat harmed it’s previous occupant? If there’s any bodily fluids, scratch marks, anything to indicate the person wasn’t pleasedUm: Would you like to “Know your enemy” the seat?The seat shows nothing to indicate something bad happened. If anything, it looks well used.Kanye: Well, it won’t be the seat’s first time. I’m going to sit down like how Nissa did, whatever she did looks like it worked.Um: Which butt-cheek are you sitting down with first?Kanye: ….. Oh yeah I need to roll for this. Animal Handling, right?Kanye settles down and there is no problem. IMmediately he can feel a psionic connection made to his brain. It’s not bad, it’s not negative, but he can tell he is connected to someone on the other side. He can’t really perceive them other than a vague sense of awareness that he is there. This is a very surface-level connection; he can instinctively tell they don’t have access to deeper thoughts and he doesn’t have access to theirs. AKA it’s an open phone line.
At first, he doesn’t hear anything. Then he becomes vaguely aware of what he’s assuming is the background noise from the other side. He hears muffled chanting and distant screaming. But it’s an active connection. It seems like someone on that pedestal is unconsciously broadcasting what they’re hearing.
Kanye announces himself as Kanye Cantaliber, saying he has taken control of the station and inquires about the status of the other station. His natural confidence carries over into a performance he’s well-suited to, and he knows he nailed it. After he stops talking, a beat passes and he hears chuckling and then chanting again. Then the connection cuts and the pedestal turns red.
The group basically saw Kanye sit down, proudly introduce himself, and then get hung up on.
Kanye says this line is lower on his priority list.
The group quickly assesses what we’d like to do next. Averlyth tries to trick the Professor into going to the Omega station, but it doesn’t work. Nissa asks if the Professor has heard any good stories or news reports about He Who Sleeps recently. He says he might have, but is willing to trade.
Nissa tells a story about a little boy with a screw in his belly button, made of solid gold. The doctor said he’d just have to live with it, there was no way to cut it out. The Petitioner interrupts asking why he couldn’t just change his form. The group has to teach the Professor about the limitations of form changing. Nissa turns Averlyth into a Chicken with Polymorph (voluntarily, she was about to change herself with disguise self). He asks why the burned corpse had a fire form. Nissa is able to persuade him that corporeal beings are not allowed to turn into fire, and that the Petitioner in fact changed the burned body for him.
Nissa goes back to the story, explaining that the boy with the screw belly grows up. The Petitioner immediately calls out that Nissa just said they cannot change. She tries to explain that Corporeal beings can change their size at will but not their shape. Kanye is about to correct her since he has titanic growth and Nissa gives him a look.
Kanye turns and takes a drink from his mystery drink dispenser. DM: Great, give me a roll.Kanye: How about…. Dexterity?DM: For which drink you got?Kanye drinks Kombucha, Nissa is happy for him. The Professor slowly, painfully learns about aging from Nissa. Nissa explains that the boy wants to know why he has a screw in his belly button because all the women laugh, so he goes to the big city to ask the doctors at the finest university. He goes to the mages’ college and he talks to the mages, asking if there’s anything they can do, or if they know if magic is at place.
He finally goes to the King’s Vizier, the court magician, the last person that can help. The King’s Vizier says the King was also blessed when he was a young boy. He shows the king his belly button, and the King is SO EXCITED - he pulls out a golden screwdriver. He starts to unscrew the screw… and then the boy’s butt falls off. (Source)
The group is cracking up, the Petitioner is laughing very hard. Nissa gets inspiration from this experience. He agrees it was informative and is sharing information in exchange about He Who Sleeps. It is simply that He Who Sleeps is awakening. Whatever kept him imprisoned seemed to be weakening, and as a result he has been psychically communicating with denizens of this plane, especially the Slaad who have been gathering near him. The Professor assumes He Who Sleeps is working towards something hopefully entertaining.
Averlyth is still a chicken, she’s planning to ride on Nissa when Nissa rides on Kanye. Then Kanye pulls out a tape measure to see if she’ll fit in the glitter cannon and she turns back to a human immediately. 
The group decides to first take a long rest at the station before going back to Woolmaster/Walumulmaster (because it’s funnier) to report back to Wosley. The observation station is stable enough for Moody to sleep, as it’s maintained by believed back in Walumulmaster. Kanye goes to the mess hall to salvage it. Kanye finds a well stocked waffle bar with belgian waffles, whipped cream, 7 types of nutella, 4 different types of bananas, and no strawberries and no chocolate. Kanye can’t tell if the place was already here or if he imagined it poorly.
The rest of the group wakes up and sees Kanye’s face covered in waffles, in the depths of a long rest, the waffle bar entirely a mess. We decide to eat at the omelet bar instead.
Kanye’s feet are propped up on the Beta pedestal and he has a peaceful sleep, a restful night. He is unsure whether he had a psychic connection overnight, or if it was all in his head, but he slept really well. The Professor is just standing over him watching him intently.
Kanye asks the Professor if he walked or talked in his sleep. Or if the suit did anything suspicious. The Professor asks for information to trade. Kanye tells the story about a young man who went to the dog track to bet but when he got there it was closed. The Professor thinks this is the worse story and the deal is off. No one else in the group saw anything suspicious with Kanye.Kanye: Averlyth can you do a glyph here? Like booby trap it or something?Averlyth: What why? We don’t own this placeKanye: Like something that could notify us, or message us or alert us if someone comes in here and does somethingSorith: I think the word you’re looking for is alarmKanye: Oh my god how long have you been here, did you see the waffle bar?Moody is sitting by the front door smoking, asking us where we’re going. We decide we don’t care about Walumulmaster after all, but now can’t decide where to go. Averlyth suggests Yggdrasil or Fey, Sorith says it would be baller to kill all the Slaads forever. Kanye wonders if we’re documenting enough to preserve our legacy, Moody looks confused wondering what kind of bureaucratic hell we’re coming from.
Before next session, Averlyth is going to see if she can use her spells to live stream. Kanye is immediately imagining if we just have a shaky cam on Wosley’s TV forever.
Kanye is wondering if we could convince Modrons to go to the Slaad Stone. We are reminded we don’t know there is a Modron March going on. The group spends like 20 minutes before deciding to go in the order the stations were introduced to, starting with Beta.
Kanye is suddenly questioning if he should stay back to monitor for unexpected behavior at the station. Averlyth mentions he has to come with if he wants to be live streamed when she invents it, then remembers Qualish might’ve invented it already for the Medusa? And also Kanye broke it.
Um normally would’ve left by now but it’s chaos out there, so he’s just as close as possible to the edge of the safe zone. The group has decided to go to the Observation Station Beta next time. Kanye takes some food from the waffle bar for the road.