Jane Austen vs Arthur Conan Doyle

English novelist, Jane Austen, raps against British writer and physician, Arthur Conan Doyle, to see who is the superior celebrated author from different time periods and literary genres. But they aren't the only ones in this battle.
Jane Austen Background: Mansfield Park
Arthur Conan Doyle Background: Baker Street
Beat: Oxygen
== Battle ==
(Starts at 0:11)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
JANE AUSTEN
VS
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
BEGIN!
=== Jane Austen: ===
(starts at 0:21)
Scholars holler when I spit bars as lit as they are
It’s in the family, ask my nephew about memoirs
I have a knack of getting praise on the track
Attack The Misadventures; leave him flat like a Flapjack!
Don’t trifle with your titles that’s why they’re really impotent
You’re in denial then recycle although its excrement
I have variety, marks on society, you’re unmatched
You have a name you rehash and a walrus mustache
I spent hours upon hours and got the women empowered
I can beat you in your Holmes court, call me Austen Powers!
You say you can solve crimes and mystery but it’s just tragic 
You spent time with Houdini but don’t understand magic
How do you read your novels without getting eyestrain?
Should I be drunk like your father or have some Sherlock cocaine?
You failed as an author, call this the main and Final Problem
They want the film versions but the books they don’t want them
=== Arthur Conan Doyle: ===
(The beat changes to Spitfire, starts at 0:19)
You address me as Sir!
I refuse to take such slur from an amateur
Anybody will concur that I’m better than you ever were
And I’ll crack the case of this failure of an author
You want to mess with Arthur? Where’s your Sense and Sensibility?
Critics love beloved works of mine on B-B-C!
Call in Bob Barker yet the Price still isn’t right
And your themes are better shown off by a Grey tie
Why? Your works were for the fun of your family
But they couldn’t do that! It just retarded your daddy
I have the bite and bark worse than a Baskerville Hound
Make a Manslaughter Park on this literary battleground
A Lady who lacks the Persuasion to go past flirtation
Writing some romance novels but she’s a big old virgin
You are the family cash cow without the cash and might I add
That you shouldn’t have the Pride with better reads on Wattpad
=== J.R.R. Tolkien: ===
(Background changes to the Lonely Mountain and the beat changes to Open Fire, starts at 0:30)
It’s the Return of the King! Where’s the Warm Welcome?
You wanted a literary war, right? Come and get Somme!
I spit as hot as middle-earth with shots fired like Legolas
In a test of time and who will last, you shall not pass
I’ll tell you what son, your Scooby Doo Mystery Mayhem
The all-seeing Eye of Sauron won’t take a look at ‘em
From best selling pages, to films and games, you already know
One thing I don’t know is this girl here, what’s up, Jane Doe?
I mean, I know about rings but for you, I’ve no advice
You make Gollum look more appealing to the eyes (Ugh!)
One does not simply step to the one rapper who rules them all
For the fantastic father of fantasy will continue to stand tall!
=== Edgar Allan Poe: ===
(Background changes to a graveyard through red fog and the beat changes to Summer Dreams, starts at 0:32. Note: Roäc is in brackets.)
(NEVERMORE!) For the horrorcore lord is causing uproar
I give chills down a spine, you’re run-of-the-mill bores 
Baltimore, New York, I’m cutting up on the floorboards
Don’t front, you’re still wishing to get an Edgar Award (OH!)
My poems deeper than Jackson’s peter in Tolkien’s bum 
I free verse swing the mic; Spit and the Pendulum! (OH!)
I’m a Spectacle! Cold like wind from Annabel Lee
I make men quiver in their boots with a pussy!
Each word heartfelt, each word with pain I’ve dealt
Each word to express myself, each word makes hearts melt
I give frights in this fight, things go bump in the night
Clear river flow so bright! Fly like the Raven! (Damn right)
Spooky trochee mastery, stories of adventures to comedy  
So let us have a toast for me, to the poet goes the victory
=== ???: ===
Thou art correct!
=== William Shakespeare: ===
(Background changes to the Globe Theatre and the beat changes to The Cost of Success, starts at 0:20)
Thou bow before the bard; the momma of drama 
Hark! ‘Tis the rhymes that hath left the entire Globe in awe 
A-row of errors of comedy ye bastards are to me
I hath not written thy bars yet thou art great tragedies!
‘Tis the playwright in the spotlight ever upon generations
Thou wish to brabble? My weakest poem’s out thy limitations
On the mic, I go H.A.M. let me rap; it’s cruel like Macbeth
Thy chances to win separated like Romeo and Juliet (Ugh!)
Jane doth pen romances but interest me, it just doesn’t 
Thou hath lost in those terms by Poe and his underage cousin 
Thy art not worth my piss! Hark! The utmost truth of it is
I’m like Antonio, thou Shylock, thou simply can’t touch this
You’re making Much Ado About Nothing, thou art not timeless
Thy Sherlock shows and Hobbits be but a pop culture mess
Thou faces like a book where men may read something strange 
In the final act I played all of thee in this lyrical exchange
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES-
(A book closes on the logo.)
OUCH!!! OF HISTORY…
----For the rap meanings, go to Jane Austen vs Arthur Conan Doyle/Rap Meanings