Stone 49

Chapter 49
We are now on page 504 of my hardback copy, which has (Lewis help us) over 700 pages. We are 71% of the way through the book (yay!). Let's sum up the plot, shall we? 
*Richard has torn the veil, potentially dooming the entire world, and is currently angsting his way to wizard school. 
*Kahlan has blown off her quest to inform the one person in the world who might possibly be able to do something useful in favor of leading naked teenagers through the snow. 
*Zedd and Adie are missing and hopefully dead of skrinitis. 
*Darken Rahl is definitely dead, yet still being cartoonishly evil somewhere. 
*Sue Nun is directing hentai videos.
Can't you just feel the tension?
Anyway, Richard and Verna have, at long last, reached the Big Stone Witch House. It is in the city of Tanimura, which sits on Halsband Island, in the River Kern. No word on exactly how big it is, but Richard notes the sounds of "tens of thousands of people and horses." There are also big boats on the river, some of which have three masts and are bigger than any boats Richard had ever imagined existing.
Verna names the city and river and so on, and Richard refers to it as "Prison." He then asks if Halsband Island is some sort of "sardonic joke." A halsband, he says, is "a collar used to launch a hunting hawk on an attack." Google Translate tells me the word halsband is German for "collar," so...I guess?
Although it does make me wonder why we have German words in Dickland.
We learn that no one from Tanimura farms the near side of the river, for fear of the BBM. In addition, Verna points out the Hagen Woods, an enormous, old, gnarled forest, which we've seen back in Chapter 20 (and hagen, it appears, is German for "grove" or "hedge". The Grove Woods? \~/) Anyway, Verna exposits that "all who let the sun set on them in the Hagen Woods die. Many who set foot there die before they have a chance to wait for the sun to go down. It's a place of vile magic."
Thank you Verna. I had assumed that sundown tripped some magic switch that killed people in the Grove Woods; it's nice to know that isn't the case. Sheesh.
As they ride toward the Big Stone Witch House, Richard "felt a longing for [the Grove Woods.]" Well, of course he did.
They reach Tanimura, which is surrounded by "a confusion of squalor." There are hundreds of people buying selling talking...in essence, living their lives. Richard thinks about how poor they look, and yet how they look "happier than they had a right to." They all, of course, bow down before the awesomeness of Verna, because she's a Nun and they're just scum.
They travel into the city, which gets cleaner and better-kept the deeper in they go. Even the inns look better, with "doormen standing in red uniforms before them." Really? Really?
Verna tells Richard that when a "gifted one" comes to the Big Stone Witch House, it's a big event, and everyone there will be happy and want him to feel welcome. Richard first says "you would like me not to horrify them right off," which I actually find pretty funny. He then angsts about how he's the bringer of death, sounding like a whiny teenager. \~/
They reach the Big Stone Witch House where a stableboy takes their horses. The stableboy calls Jessup a "dumb beast" and smacks him with a whip, so Verna flings him around with magic and then berates him for whipping the horse. Ah, it appears that Verna is becoming a Lover of All Noble Creatures as well. This amuses Richard, but Verna cautions him with an oddly-constructed sentence, which I must share with you:
"As they walked across the courtyard, she said, 'Just remember, Richard, there isn't a Sister here, or even a novice, who, while at the same time as she was yawning, couldn't throw you across the room like that with her Han.' “
I’m taking a drink for that. \~/
Verna and Richard continue into the Big Stone Witch House, where they meet three of Verna’s friends, Sisters Phoebe, Amelia and Janet. They gush over Verna and comment on how big Richard is, reinforcing my supposition that he's a sumo wrestler. Verna asks about "the troops I saw, the ones in the strange uniforms," (which were briefly mentioned) and the Nuns Three explain that there was a change of government since Verna left, and that "We have an emperor, now, instead of all those kings." The name of this new government is the Imperial Order. DUN DUN DUN!
I still say that's a terrible name.
The Nuns are all rather blasé about the fact that the previous government was overthrown, commenting that "Governments come, and governments go, but the Palace of the Prophets always remains. The Creator's hand shelters us." Wow, arrogant much? Also, foreshadowing ahoy!
The Nuns lead Richard deeper into the Big Stone Witch House, and we learn that Richard considers himself to be in hostile territory. "Threat always caused the magic of the Sword of Truth to try to seep into him, to protect him. He let in a trickle, keeping the anger on a slow burn." The magic, I remind you again, is pure rage.
Richard is led into a huge and lavishly-appointed room full of over a hundred Nuns and assorted hangers-on. Phoebe asks if there is any more to his name than just Richard. Richard, for some reason known only to Terry Goodkind (spoiler: it's to set up a dramatic reveal later) reverts to his old name of Cypher, so Phoebe introduces him as Richard Cypher. Apropos of nothing, Richard notices Sue Nun clapping enthusiastically when he is introduced.
A young woman approaches, wearing a dress "the same shade of blue as Khlan's wedding dress" (as an aside, the Nuns have no unifying mode of dress - it's specifically noted that they wear whatever the heck they want). This proves to be Pasha Maes, who strokes Richard's face and beard (personal space, Pasha!), whispering that "The Creator has indeed heard my prayers." Does this mean Pasha was praying to be the mentor of a sociopathic woods guide with anger issues?
Pasha introduces herself, essentially saying that Richard is to bring any problems or questions to her and she will help with them. Then, "Her smile faltered under the heat of his gloves." Yes, gloves. I'm pretty sure that's a typo, but that's what it says in my copy.
Now I have an image of Richard covering Pasha's mouth with his hands until she stops smiling.
Pasha informs Richard that "we don't allow boys to carry weapons," and Richard gives the NRA-approved answer. Richard demands to see the Prelate, and Pasha say that he will see the Prelate when and if the Prelate wants to see him.
Richard then speechifies \~/ for most of a page. I'm not typing out the entire thing, but the gist of his speech is as follows:
*As long as he wears the collar, he considers the Nuns his enemies.
*They have a truce for as long as the Nuns teach him to control his gift.
*The last person to collar him tortured him, and he killed her. Despite that, she was a far better person than the Nuns.
*The Nuns are no better than Satanists because they collar people.
*If the Nuns torture him, the truce is ended.
*If anyone harms Verna or the BBM, the truce is ended.
Richard then cuts his arm with the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo and "give[s] blood oath" that, if anyone crosses him, he will lay waste to the Big Stone Witch House. He then, once again, refers to himself as "the bringer of death."
One of the Nuns declares that Verna is a complete failure as a Nun, and as such she is reduced to a novice, first rank. Verna hands over her death dildo and heads out to muck out the stables. There's some more childish bickering between Richard and Pasha, and the chapter ends.
Drinks: 4
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