The Muppets Return to Oz (The Muppets Wizard of Oz sequel installment)/Transcript

== Prologue: Kansas Trailer Park ==
Everybody's now asleep in their trailers (except Dorothy who's in her bedroom.)
Aunt Em enters Dorothy's bedroom.
[Door Opening]
Aunt Em: "It's now past 1 AM in the mornin', Dorothy, can't you fall asleep?"
Dorothy shakes her head at Aunt Em in response.
Dorothy: "You know what, Aunt Em? I know I got my super star singer career, but I just wish I could fall asleep like you, Uncle Henry and everybody do."
Aunt Em: "Very soon, you will, Dorothy, very soon, you will.
[Uncle Henry Sighs And Groans]
[Door Opening Again]
[Door Creaking]
Uncle Henry: "I just can't seem to pay out cash for this dr. when I don't have any of it left."
Aunt Em: "Garnet said she'd give it to us, Henry."
Uncle Henry: "Garnet, now that's charity, Em."
Aunt Em: "Well technically, she's my sister, it's true family, not charity."
The camera zooms in on Dorothy who's still in bed.
Aunt Em (off screen): "It's been 8 months ever since the cyclone hit this place, and Dorothy hasn't been herself ever since, I'm takin' her all the way over to Cottonwood Falls tomorrow afternoon to see if she can be helped, and all she ever speaks about is some other place that just doesn't seem to exist: a speakin' tin thing, a walkin' scarecrow, a joke tellin' cowardly lion and even silver slippers."
Dorothy sees a shooting star right outside her bedroom window.
Dorothy: "Oh my gosh, a shootin' star, it's a shootin' star."
A Disney Channel Original Movie:
The Muppets Return to Oz
Directed by James Bobin
Produced by Nicholas Stoller
Music composed by Christophe Beck
Starring:
Keke Palmer
David Alan Grier
Queen Latifah
and Jeffrey Tambor
== Scene 1: Right outside by the chicken coop ==
Dorothy walks right over to 1 of the Muppet chickens named Billina.
Dorothy: "Did you lay your egg this mornin', Billina? let's go see if you did."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking]
Dorothy: "Where's your egg, Billina? if you don't begin layin' eggs again, Aunt Em says she's gonna stew you up for dinner this evenin'."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking Again]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Continues Clucking]
Dorothy finds the Oz key right on the ground.
Dorothy: "It's a key: O and Z, Oz."
Dorothy goes right over to Aunt Em who's busy fixing everything up.
Dorothy: "Aunt Em, look, Aunt Em, look, it's a key from Oz."
Aunt Em: "It's just the key to the old trailer right before the cyclone, I must've turned it 100 times."
Dorothy: "No, Aunt Em, look, it's proof, O and Z, Oz."
Aunt Em: "Dorothy,"
Dorothy: "My good friends sent it to me on that shootin' star."
Aunt Em: "can you remember how you spoke?"
Dorothy: "Not to speak about Oz?"
Aunt Em: "And why's that?"
Dorothy: "'Cause it's just my imagination."
Dorothy: [Sighs Heavily]
Aunt Em: "I know you don't wanna go to Dr. Worley's office, Dorothy, but you just haven't fallen asleep that night ever since the cyclone, and you're no help to me in the mornin'."
Dorothy: "Oh, but, Aunt Em, my good friends are in super big trouble, I just know it."
Aunt Em: "We are in super big trouble, Dorothy, we lost the old trailer in the cyclone, never before need to have 1 mortgage, now we need to have 2 of them, winter's comin' on, the new trailer isn't finished just yet."
Aunt Em: [Sighs Heavily]
Dorothy: "I think he broke his right leg, Aunt Em."
Aunt Em: "Dorothy, that leg's fixed, it's fixed."
[Music In Background]
Aunt Em: I know you saw
a shootin' star
which wasn't too far
but when that cyclone hit
like a giant fit
this was a tad bit sad
it was very, very bad
no need to yelp
we all need help
we all need to help
Cut to Kermit and his Muppet friends right by Aunt Em's Diner.......
Kermit: that cyclone was real scary
Fozzie: it wasn't a good fairy
Scooter: it was real bad
Gonzo: it made everybody 
super mad
Miss Piggy: but there's no
need to yelp
Walter: we all need help
Aunt Em and Muppet friends: we all need help.
[Music Ends]
Aunt Em: "Hurry up and get yourself prepared, Dorothy, we're gonna be late."
Meanwhile........
Dorothy and Aunt Em are now driving around in a horse drawn carriage.
Dorothy: "Goodbye, Uncle Henry!"
Uncle Henry: "You get yourselves back here by nightfall!"
Dorothy: "We will, Uncle Henry, we will!"
Aunt Em: "Come on, Copper, giddyap, there you go."
Dorothy: "Aunt Em, do you think Uncle Henry's gonna be alright?"
Aunt Em: "Of course he's gonna be alright, Dorothy."
Aunt Em: "Giddyap, giddyap!"
Dorothy: "I never been past this town before in my entire life."
=== Sam's/Dr. Worley's clinic ===
[Grandfather Clock Ticking]
Dorothy (from inside the clinic): "The Tin Thing used to be made outta blue fuzz just like the other alien critters, but then the Wicked Witch of the East waved her magic wand around him and turned him all metal solid."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Well, that's quite alright, Dorothy, but did you mention something about a hungry tiger?"
Dorothy: "No, Dr. Worley, a lion, a cowardly lion."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "And he can speak too? just like the Scarecrow and the Tin Thing?"
Dorothy: "Yes, Dr. Worley, all of the critters in Oz can speak."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "How exactly did you get back home from Oz in the 1st place?"
Dorothy: "With my silver slippers."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Mmm hmm, and how exactly did it work?"
Dorothy: "I put them on, I clapped my heels together 3 times and said Take me home to Aunt Em."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Dorothy, where exactly are those silver slippers right now?"
Dorothy: "I lost them, they fell right off on the way back home to the trailer park."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Well, I think I know just the thing to cheer Dorothy up a bit."
Sam/Dr. Worley gives Dorothy an extra key and shows her an electrical marvel.
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Now this electrical marvel, will make it possible for you to fall asleep again, and it'll also get rid of all of those terrible waking up dream visions you were telling me about, now this little man here's, got a face, here's his 2 eyes, and this must be his nose, and this must be his mouth, and what's this, Dorothy?"
(Brief pause)
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Why, that's his tongue, [Chuckles A Bit] isn't it?"
Sam/Dr. Worley: [Chuckles A Bit]
Dorothy: "Do you think it'll hurt?"
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Will it? no, no, no, no, no, it just manages the flow of electricity, now, your aunt already knows that we're at the dawn of a new age, in just 3 months, it'll be the year 2021, a new century, the 21st century, a century of electricity, now the brain itself is an electrical machine, it's absolutely nothing but a machine, when it malfunctions, 1 blast to the head, for example, then the brain produces useless excess currents, those electrlc currents are our dream visions, delusions, and wouldn't you know that we have found out that sometimes the brain malfunctions just like the dream visions that you have, Dorothy, now we all have the means to control those excess currents."
Dorothy: "Yes, of course."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Fine by that, fine by that."
Meanwhile, Dorothy's hanging right onto Mildred Huxtetter's/Nurse Wilson's right hand.
Aunt Em: "I must get back home to Henry right before nightfall, Dorothy, you understand right now, don't you?"
Dorothy nods her head in agreement.
Aunt Em: "Oh, and here's your lunch pail, I was just thinkin' we'd stay for just 1 short period of time."
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "That won't be necessary, we got real good breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert meals here."
Aunt Em: "Now, Dorothy, be a good young lady and do everything Dr. Worley and Nurse Wilson tell you, and I'll be right back tomorrow mornin' and we'll all go back home safe and secure."
Aunt Em walks away from Dorothy's hospital stretcher bed.
Aunt Em: "I never left her outta my sight around strangers before in my entire life."
Sam/Dr. Worley: "She's in super good hands, Mrs. Gale."
Meanwhile........
[Metal Wheels Squeaking]
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson (taking Dorothy's lunch pail): "You won't be needing that, Dorothy."
[Metal Wheels Resume Squeaking]
[Key Turning In On Lock]
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Now, Dorothy, you stay right here 'til we come get you, you can have a nice long rest if you wish."
[Sound of Hoofbeats]
Aunt Em (off screen): "Come on, giddyap, come on, come on, come on, come on!"
Dorothy: "Aunt Em."
Dorothy turns right over and sees Miss Piggy/a mysterious lady pig/Ozma standing right in the corner with a jack-o-lantern in her hands.
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "This jack-o-lantern's for you."
Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma gives Dorothy the jack-o-lantern.
Dorothy: "Thanks a bunch."
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "It's the night of Halloween soon."
Dorothy: "I know that already."
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "So why exactly did they bring you here, Dorothy?"
Dorothy: "'Cause I can't fall asleep (she puts the jack-o-lantern right down on the dresser.) and I keep speakin' about a place that I been to, but nobody believes it exists."
[Rain And Thunder Rumbling]
[Screaming In Distance]
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "I need to go, I'll come back here later."
Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma makes her leave.
[Rain And Thunder Continue Rumbling]
Dorothy opens the door and steps right out in the hallways.
[Fabric Rustling]
[Rustling Fades Away]
[Rumbling Continues In Distance]
[Rain Splattering On Windows]
[Light Switch Clicks]
[Rain And Thunder Rumbling Again]
[Wheels Squeaking Again]
[Squeaking Continues]
[Rumbling Continues]
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Do you wanna go for a ride, Dorothy?"
[Belt Buckle Rattling]
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Lie right down, Dorothy."
Dorothy: "I can sit up if I wanna."
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "What did your aunt tell you, Dorothy?"
Dorothy: "To do everything you tell me, Nurse Wilson."
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Then lie right down, Dorothy."
The dr.'s and Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson are about to tie Dorothy right down on the stretcher.
Dorothy: "Why do you need to tie me down?"
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "So you'll never fall right off."
Dorothy: "I came all the way from the trailer park in the horse drawn carriage and I didn't fall right off."
[Footsteps Approaching]
[Wheels Resume Squeaking]
Dorothy: "Did I just hear somebody scream earlier this mornin'?"
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "No, Dorothy, of course not."
The dr.'s and Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson take Dorothy right into Sam's/Dr. Worley's operating room.
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Why hello, Dorothy, how are you this evening?"
Dorothy: "I just wish I wasn't tied down."
Sam/Dr. Worley: [Chuckles A Bit] "There's nothing to worry about, Dorothy."
Dorothy: "What are these things?"
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Oh, when you're prepared, we'll just put them right on your head and over your ears, and very soon, it'll [Electric Machine Buzzing] draw out all of those unpleasant dream visions outta your head, then when you wake up, you'll never be disturbed by them again."
[Switch Clicks]
[Machinery Humming]
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Testing, on,"
[Electricity Arcing]
Sam/Dr. Worley: "and off."
[Arcing Stops]
[Buzzing Sounds]
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Well, I think we're almost prepared."
[Buzzing Sounds Continue]
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Are you prepared, Nurse Wilson?"
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Yes, Dr. Worley."
[Rain And Thunder Rumbling Again]
[Electricity Crackling]
[Creaking And Squeaking]
[More Screaming In Distance]
Sam/Dr. Worley: "Goodness gracious."
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson (off screen): "I'll see to that, you go check the generator."
[Screaming Continues In Distance]
[Door Closes]
[Clockwork Whirring]
[Whirring Continues]
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma (off screen): "Psst."
[Rain And Thunder Continue Rumbling]
Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma takes the headphones right off Dorothy's head.
Dorothy: "Who's there?"
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Shh, hurry, Dorothy, we need to get you outta here."
[Rain And Thunder Rumbling Again]
Dorothy: "What's that screamin' sound."
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "There are lots of patients who been damaged and locked away in the cellar, hurry up!"
[Music In Background]
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: We need to get out
yes of course
we need to get out
I just don't wanna be here
it's the only place
that I fear
Dorothy: we need to get out
but there's no reason
to freak out and pout
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: yes of course
we need to get out.
[Music Ends]
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma run around outta the operating room.
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma: [Panting In Fear]
[Crowd Screaming In Fear]
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Get back in here, hurry up!"
[Footsteps Approaching]
[More Screaming Sounds]
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "So."
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Let's run away, Dorothy, let's run away, come on, let's go, hurry up!"
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma run around in fear.
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Run around faster, Dorothy, run around faster!"
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: [Panting In Fear]
[Shouting In Distance]
[Shouting Continues]
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Stop right there!"
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Stop right there!"
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma prepares to do a martial arts karate kick on Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson.
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Hii-(she gets flung right into the river water.) yaaaaaaaaaah!"
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Dorothy, help me!"
Dorothy: "Here, grab on to my right hand, hang on, hang on!"
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Dorothy, hurry up, jump!"
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dorothy and Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: [Coughing Silently]
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Stop right there!"
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Here, Dorothy, here!"
Miss Piggy/the mysterious lady pig/Ozma grabs Dorothy's right hand.
Miss Piggy/Mysterious Lady Pig/Ozma: "Hang on, hang on to it!"
Mildred Huxtetter/Nurse Wilson: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Dorothy's floating in a giant chicken coop.
=== The Deadly Desert/Munchkin Land/back in Oz ===
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking]
[Clucking Continues]
Dorothy: [Yawns A Bit] "What's that sound?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Oh I was just tryin' to lay my egg, Dorothy, that's all."
Dorothy: "Billina? is that really you?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucks A Bit]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Who do you think it'll possibly be?"
Dorothy: "What are you doing here? have you been here all night long too?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Sneezes A Bit] "Oh I never been so wet in my entire life."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucks Again]
Dorothy: "Hmmmmm."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "How big can this pond be anyhow?"
Dorothy: "I don't think it's really a pond, Billina."
Dorothy looks around to see all of the pond water disappearing.
Dorothy: "I guess this really is a pond."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Hmmmm, I told you so."
Dorothy: "Where'd all of the water go?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "and where'd Kansas go?"
[Wild Birds Chirping In Distance]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Oh this must be 1 place for some chicken coop."
Dorothy: "When did you learn how to speak anyhow? I thought chickens could only cluck and cackle."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Cackles A Bit] "Crazy, isn't it? how's my vocabulary?"
Dorothy: "If we were in the universe of Oz, your speakin' wouldn't be crazy at all."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucks A Bit] "There goes the water, it's nice and dry."
Dorothy: "Oz."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Huh, what?"
Dorothy: "Maybe this really is Oz."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Oz? well I think I'll have myself a good look around and see if I can find myself some breakfast meals."
Dorothy (grabbing the Muppet chicken/Billina): "Wait just 1 minute, Billina."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking Wildly]
Dorothy: "If this really is the universe of Oz, then this is the Deadly Desert."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Deadly Desert?"
Dorothy: "Yep, it surrounds all of Oz, last time, I flew around right over it in the old trailer."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Huh, what?"
Dorothy: "Anything alive that touches it, turns into grains of sand."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Well just my luck indeed."
Dorothy: "If we stay right on those steppin' stones, we'll be alright."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Be super careful, Dorothy."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking Again]
[Clucking Continues]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Slow down, be super careful!"
Dorothy: "1, 2 and 3."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Slowly now, Dorothy!"
[Clucking Continues]
Dorothy and the Muppet chicken/Billina step right up to the finish line.
Dorothy: "There we are."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "It never did."
Dorothy: "Let's go see if we can find something to eat for our breakfast meals today,"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Well it's about time."
Dorothy: "then we can go right over to the Emerald City and see my good friend, the Scarecrow."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Scarecrow?"
Dorothy: "He's the king of Oz right now, Billina."
Dorothy and the Muppet Chicken/Billina stop right by a lunch pail tree.
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking]
Dorothy: "Look, Billina, it's a lunch pail tree."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Whatever happened to breakfast time?"
Dorothy: "Now I really know we're in Oz."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Ah, very good, now make sure you don't pick a green 1."
Dorothy: "There's some ripe 1s."
Dorothy picks a red ripe lunch pail right off the lunch pail tree.
Dorothy: "This 1 for now, (she picks another red ripe lunch pail right off the lunch pail tree.) and this other 1 for later on, come and share my lunch with me, Billina."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Mmm, just 1 single minute, got a couple of nice earthworms here."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Chuckles A Bit]
Dorothy: "I wonder what's inside."
Dorothy takes a cheese and pastrami sandwich right outta her lunch pail.
Dorothy: "And......a cheese and pastrami sandwich?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "I'm lucky it's not barbecue chicken."
Dorothy: "Oh, Billina, we're finally back in Oz, now I can show you all of the people and things that nobody would ever believe in."
Dorothy (with the Muppet Chicken/Billina in her arms) walks around on their way to Munchkin Land.
Close up of the Evil Rock Nome Minion's face......
Evil Rock Nome Minion: "Your highness, she has finally returned to Oz."
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "Good, very good, just keep a sharp eye out on her."
The Evil Rock Nome Minion's a bit nervous.
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "Well? what's going on? what is it?"
Evil Rock Nome Minion: "She's got a speaking chicken with her."
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "A speaking chicken?!?"
=== Munchkin Land/the old trailer/discovering the now ruined Yellow Brick Road ===
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Where's all of your good friends, Dorothy? where's everybody?"
Dorothy: "I don't know, Billina, Oz is a super big place."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Well I don't like it, it makes me super nervous."
Dorothy and the Muppet Chicken/Billina stop right by their old trailer.
Dorothy: "Billina, this is our old trailer, the 1 that the cyclone blew away."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Hmmm."
Dorothy: "This is exactly how I got to Oz the very 1st time."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "It must've been a super long trip."
Dorothy: "Billina, this used to be my bedroom, and right in there was the kitchen, and the other side was the livin' room, (she points right over to where they landed right on Miss Piggy/the Wicked Witch of the East.) and that's exactly where we landed on the Wicked Witch of the East."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Mumbles A Bit] "Wicked Witch of the East?"
Dorothy: "But where's all of the Munchkins?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "What are you speakin' about, my dear girl?"
Rizzo/Munchkin Mayor (off screen): "Did somebody mention us?"
Dorothy turns herself around and sees the Muppet rats/Munchkins.
Dorothy: "Hey, I remember you guys, you guys are the munchkins, oh my gosh, Munchkin Mayor, I even recognize your face as well too."
Rizzo/Munchkin Mayor: "Good ding de Wicked Witches of de East and West a'e deceased and no longa in de house, we'e finally free at last!"
The Wizard (in his hot air balloon) lands right in Munchkin Land.
Dorothy: "Hey, Mr. Wizard,"
Rizzo/Munchkin Mayor: "is someding de matta he'e?"
Wizard: "I'm afraid so, Oz is in terrible and horrible danger."
Dorothy: "Come on, Billina, let's keep goin'."
Rizzo/Munchkin Mayor: "Bye, Do'othy, careful travelin'!"
Dorothy discovers that the Yellow Brick Road's all jumbled up.
Dorothy: "Oh my word."
Dorothy goes right over the jumbled up Yellow Brick Road.
Dorothy (picking up 1 of the yellow bricks): "Oh my word."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "But that's just a yellow brick, Dorothy."
Dorothy: "But, Billina, you just don't understand, this was the Yellow Brick Road."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Huh, what?"
Dorothy (preparing to make their leave): "It leads all the way to the Emerald City."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking Wildly] "Dorothy!"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Continues Clucking Wildly] "Wait for me!"
Dorothy: "Oh my word, what just happened?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking]
Cut back to another close up of the Evil Nome Minion's face...... 
Evil Nome Minion: "Your Highness, they finally noticed the Yellow Brick Road and are on their way to the Emerald City."
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "Good, splendid, they won't ever get right past Mombi."
Cut back to Dorothy and the Muppet chicken/Billina who just made it all the way to the Emerald City which is now completly in ruins.
[More Screaming In Distance]
Dorothy: [Panting]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking]
Dorothy: "Shh......shh."
Dorothy (off screen): "Well, Billina, that was the Emerald City."
Dorothy walks around over to all of the Emerald City citizens who got turned into stone statues by Constantine's/the Nome King's evil powerful curse.
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Continues Clucking]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "They don't look like they're movin' around pretty much, aren't they?"
Dorothy: "They all got turned into stone statues."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Ahhh, all this way to see a bunch of stiff people and critters."
Dorothy (reading the sign): Look out for the Wheelers.
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "What exactly is a Wheeler?"
Dorothy: "I don't remember any of them?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Huh, what?"
[Wheels Squeaking]
[Squeaking Continues]
Dorothy walks around right over to the stone statues of the headless dancing ladies.
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking Nervously]
Dorothy: "Look, Billina, these 1s have just lost their heads."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Now that's what I call just plain old carelessness."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Continues Clucking]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking Wildly] "Come over here, Dorothy, real fast!"
Dorothy: "What is it, Billina?"
Dorothy runs around right over to Gonzo/the Tin Thing who just got turned into a stone statue by Constantine's/the Nome King's evil powerful curse.
Muppet Chicken/Billina (off screen): "Dorothy, watch out!"
Dorothy: "It's the Tin Thing, oh, Tin Thing, what just happened to you? (she looks right at Gonzo's/the Tin Thing's stone solid face.) what just happened to everybody?"
Dorothy goes right over to Fozzie/the Cowardly Lion who also got turned into a stone statue by Constantine's/the Nome King's evil powerful curse.
Dorothy: "Oh, Cowardly Lion, oh, Cowardly Lion, what just happened to you?"
[Sounds Of Wheels Squeaking]
[Squeaking Continues]
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Evil Laugh] "Hey, come over here, chicken."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking Wildly] "A Wheeler!"
[Evil Laughing Continues]
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dorothy: "Billina! Billina! follow me! hurry up!"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking In Fear] "Dorothy, hurry up, over here, let's go that way, Dorothy!"
Dorothy and the Muppet Chicken/Billina run around on their way to their hiding place.
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "I got you, you're trapped like a ladybug."
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Evil Chuckle]
Dorothy: [Panting]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "The key, Dorothy, the key."
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: "Get her! get her!"
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: [Straining And Grunting]
Andy/Wheeler Number 2: "You need to come outta here sooner or later," 
Randy/Wheeler Number 3: "and when you do,"
Andy/Wheeler Number 2: "we'll tear you apart into little pieces,"
Randy/Wheeler Number 3: "and throw you right into the Deadly Desert."
Dorothy: "I haven't done anything to any of you!"
Andy/Wheeler Number 2: "Isn't that a stolen lunch pail in your right hand? isn't that a red and white chicken in here with you?"
Randy/Wheeler Number 3: "Chicken?"
Andy/Wheeler Number 2: "The Nome King doesn't allow chickens anyplace in Oz."
Dorothy: "But who's the Nome King?"
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: [Laughing Evilly]
Randy/Wheeler Number 3: "Who's the Nome King?"
[Evil Laughing Continues]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Well what are we gonna do right now, Dorothy?"
Dorothy: [Gasps In Surprise] "What's that thing?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "I don't know much about it."
Dorothy (reading Pops'/Tik Tok's army badge): The Royal Army of Oz.
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Army? it's just an entire bunch of junk, like the copper toaster oven in the kitchen back home in the trailer park."
Dorothy: "Look, Billina, there's some directions."
Dorothy (reading the directions): Patended clockwork mechanical man: does everything but live.
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Hmmmmmm."
Dorothy: "For thinking, wind up number 1, right under the left arm, for speaking, wind up number 2, right under the right arm, for action and walking around, wind up number 3 right in the middle of the back side, it's guaranteed to work perfectly for 100 years."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "You don't really believe that, do ya?"
Dorothy: "I don't know about that, I'll just wind him up and we'll see, I'll wind up his thinking 1st."
Dorothy winds up Pops'/Tik Tok's thinking.
[Ticking Sounds]
[Ticking Sounds Continue]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Huh, what? I wonder what that thing's thinkin' about."
Dorothy: "I'll wind up his speech, and maybe he can tell us."
Dorothy winds up Pops'/Tik Tok's speech.
[Ticking Getting Louder]
Dorothy: "Maybe he can tell us what just happened to the Emerald City."
Pops/Tik Tok: "G-G-G-G-Good morning, brave young lady."
Dorothy: "Good morning, kind sir."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Are you really Dorothy Gale?"
Dorothy: "Yes, of course I am."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Nice meeting you, I'm Tik Tok, the Royal Army of Oz, his Highness, the Scarecrow, locked me in here and told me to wait for you."
Dorothy: "What just happened to the Emerald City? and where's the Scarecrow?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "I don't know about it, suddenly, everybody living here began turning into stone statues, when you didn't arrive in 1 short period of time, I called for help 'til my voice ran down, then I paced around back and forth 'til my action ran down, then I stood around and thought for 1 single minute 'til my thought ran down, but right after that, I remembered almost nothing 'til you wound me up, thanks a bunch."
Dorothy: "You're welcome, it was Billina who found the key."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Billina?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucks] "I'm over here."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Good morning, Ms. Chicken."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Hmmmm."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Where exactly did you find the key in the 1st place."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Right over in the pig trough."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Pig trough?"
Dorothy: "Back home in the trailer park in Kansas."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Kansas? the Scarecrow must've sent it all the way down to you somehow."
Dorothy: "If you don't mind at all, Mr. Tok, I'll wind up your action."
Pops/Tik Tok: "That'll appreciate me a lot more,"
Dorothy winds up Pops'/Tik Tok's action.
Pops/Tik Tok: "and you can just call me, Tik Tok."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Why weren't you turned into a stone statue just like everybody about here?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Well it's 'cause I'm not alive, and never will be, thank goodness."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Hmmmm."
Dorothy: "Well, Tik Tok, the 1st thing we need to do is to escape from the Wheelers, they're right outside and they said they're gonna throw us right into the Deadly Desert."
Pops/Tik Tok: "From now on, Dorothy, I'll be your obedient servant, if you keep me all wound up, just make sure my think works are extra tight and I can formulate 1 plan."
[Heavy Stone Door Scraping]
Pops/Tik Tok: "Hmmmm..........lunch pail?"
Dorothy gives Pops/Tik Tok the lunch pail.
Pops/Tik Tok: "Those Wheelers can be super tough customers."
[Scraping Continues]
Pops/Tik Tok sees the destroyed Emerald City and the stone solid citizens.
Pops/Tik Tok: "Oh my goodness gracious."
3 Muppet friends/Wheelers: [Laughing Evilly]
Pops/Tik Tok: "You and Billina run around right upstairs, Dorothy, and I'll take them down."
3 Muppet friends/Wheelers: [Shouting Out In Battle Cry]
Pops/Tik Tok takes down some of the Muppet friends/the Wheelers.
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Growls A Bit]
Pops/Tik Tok: [Chuckles A Bit] "Come here, you."
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Blubbering In Fear] 
[Blubbering Continues]
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "You're gonna be terribly sorry for treating me like this, I'm such a terrible and horrible m-m-m-m-man....ohhh."
Pops/Tik Tok: "I'm only a mechanical machine, so I can't be terribly sorry or bright and cheerful, no matter what happens."
Dorothy: "Where's the Scarecrow? and what just happened to the Emerald City?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Answer her."
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Blubbering In Fear Again]
Pops/Tik Tok: "Answer her!"
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "The Nome King, the Nome King, he destroyed the Emerald City, he took all of the green emeralds, he turned everybody into stone statues."
Dorothy: "But what about the Scarecrow?"
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Laughing Hysterically And Grunting]
[Grunting Continues]
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "There's only.......There's only 1 person who knows exactly where the Scarecrow is, and that's M-M-M-M-M-Mombi!"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Mombi?"
Dorothy: "I don't remember much about her."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Take us all the way to Mombi."
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "Oh no, NOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
=== Miss Poogy's/Mombi's mansion ===
[Heavy Knocking]
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Whimpering In Fear] "Please, I'm begging you, let me go, please? please, oh let me go, pleeease, let me go, let me go!"
Dorothy: "Alright, Tik Tok, you can let him go right now."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Behave yourself right now."
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Whimpering In Fear Again]
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "I'll behave, I'll behave, [Laughs Evilly] behave, behave, I'll be-oh."
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: [Laughing Evilly] "You behave!"
[Evil Laugh Fades Away]
Dorothy (with the Muppet chicken/Billina) and Pops/Tik Tok enter Miss Poogy's/Mombi's mansion.
[Lute Being Strummed In Distance]
Dorothy: "Hello?"
[Dorothy's Voice Echoing "Hello?"]
[Lute Music Continues]
[Heavy Hinges Creaking]
Pops/Tik Tok: "What a terrible and horrible mess."
Dorothy: "Come on, Tik Tok."
[Metal Footsteps Tramping]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "That Mombi sure is some house keeper."
Pops/Tik Tok: "I think it's right up those stair steps, Dorothy."
Dorothy (with the Muppet Chicken/Billina) and Pops/Tik Tok go right up the stair steps and sees Denise/Female Number 2.
Dorothy: "Excuse me, ma'am, but are you Mombi?"
Denise/Female Number 2: [Yawns A Bit] "Help me to rise up."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking]
Denise/Female Number 2: "I think I'll put on something a bit more appropriate, come with me, your good friends can stay right here."
Dorothy: "We're really looking for the Scarecrow."
Dorothy and Denise/Female Number 2 are looking around at the hallway of female heads.
Denise/Female Number 2: "I think number 1 will do for this afternoon."
Dorothy looks around and sees Mildred Huxtetter/Female Head Number 1.
Dorothy: [Gasps In Shock]
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "What do you think about it?"
Dorothy: "I think you're very beautiful."
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1:  "I should really hope so, and just who might you be? and what are you doing here?"
Dorothy: "I'm Dorothy Gale."
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "Dorothy Gale, I presume."
Dorothy: "What just happened to the Scarecrow?"
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "Come closer to me."
Dorothy comes closer to Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1.
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "The Nome King took the Scarecrow and all of the green emeralds back to his mountain and turned everybody into stone statues, you'll be rather attractive 1 day, not at all beautiful, you understand, but you got a certain beautiness, different from my other heads, I think I'll lock you up in the tower for a few years 'til your head's all prepared and I'll take it."
Dorothy: "I believe that you won't!"
Dorothy and the Muppet chicken/Billina are now running away from Mildred Huxtetter/Female Head Number 1.
Dorothy: "Tik Tok, hurry up! Billina!"
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Pops/Tik Tok: "I'm coming to your rescue, Dorothy."
Pops/Tik Tok (off screen): "Don't worry about it, I'll rescue you."
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "You, I'll have fried or barbecue for my lunch meal."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking In Fear]
Pops/Tik Tok: "Stop right there!"
(Brief pause)
Pops/Tik Tok: "Oh dear, my action must've wound down."
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "Ha, ha."
Pops/Tik Tok: "This is way too bad, I suppose my battle fight against the Wheelers made me run down faster as usual."
Dorothy (off screen): "It can't be helped like that, Tik Tok."
Dorothy: "What are you gonna do with Tik Tok?"
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "Other people will think I got a new copper statue."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking In Fear]
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1 imprisons Dorothy and the Muppet chicken/Billina in a room where they meet Jack Pumpkinhead.
Mildred Huxtetter/Female Number 1: "Ha!"
Dorothy walks around right over to the window and sees a distant viewing of Constantine's/the Nome King's mountain.........
Dorothy: "It's the Nome King's mountain."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "If this really is Oz, Dorothy, I'd rather take my chances back home in Kansas."
Dorothy: "Oh, Billina."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "What is it, Dorothy?"
Dorothy: "If only we could fly away just like you."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Ah, only in my younger days, my dear girl."
Dorothy looks right at picture paintings of Gonzo/the Tin Thing, Kermit/the Scarecrow and Fozzie/the Cowardly Lion.
Jack Pumpkinhead (offscreen): "Mother? Mother?" 
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Mother? is that really you?"
Dorothy: "No, I'm Dorothy Gale."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh, for 1 2nd there, I thought my mother had come back to me."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucks] "Now what's this? a grown man? or a cantaloupe?"
Jack Pumpkinhead: " "A pumpkin, if you please, I'm Jack, Jack Pumpkinhead, can I ask 1 favor of you, Dorothy? will you please check my head for signs of spoilin'?"
Dorothy checks Jack Pumpkinhead's head for signs of spoiling.
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Are there any soft spots? how does it feel?"
Dorothy: "Very nice, Jack."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh thanks a bunch, I been alive in such 1 short minute, and I'm terrified of spoilin' right before I saw everything in the entire universe, can you put some of the rest of me back together again?"
Dorothy: "Yes, kind sir."
Jack Pumpkinhead (animatronic): "If you can just tie that right arm on............then my right leg has fallen off too........."
Dorothy ties the right arm and the right leg around Jack Pumpkinhead's entire body.
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Are you sure you're not really my mother?"
Dorothy: "I'm pretty sure, Jack."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Well, Dorothy, my mother built me to terrify that evil witch, Mombi, she put me in a place where Mombi would meet me here, face to face, and along she came, sure enough, she was terrified, but then, she was fed up with me, she's got a terrible temper."
Dorothy: "I know that, Jack, but where did she get all of those different heads."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Did you see all of the headless dancin' ladies outside?"
Dorothy: "Yes, of course, Jack........"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Well that's exactly where she got them."
Dorothy: "I can understand that."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Anyhow, Mombi was about to destroy me with her power stick, but she decided to test out some of the powder of life she had bought from a sorceress and she did, whoa, it finally worked and here I am."
Dorothy: "The powder of life?"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "You sprinkle it on some objects and the object comes to life."
Dorothy: "Do you think Mombi's got any more of it?"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "If she does, it's in cabinet number 38 with her original head."
Muppet Chicken/Billina (off screen): "Whatever happened to your mother?"
Jack Pumpkinhead (off screen): "She disappeared."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Ohh."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "I think Mombi just enchanted her, right after that, she threw me right into this corner and said she was gonna make a pumpkin pie outta me, but she was wearin' head Number 21 at that time and might not have worn it ever since 'cause she never remembered I'm still up here, and speakin' of havin' more seeds, I haven't seen 1 single bag of them in many years, except for this 1 in the middle corner."
Dorothy: "Jack, Billina, listen to me, here's exactly what we need to do."
Jack Pumpkinhead unlocks the door of the tower room and opens it.
[Hinges Creaking]
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Ohhh, is that really Tik Tok?"
Dorothy: "Yes, Jack, of course it is."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Uh, Dorothy?"
Dorothy: "Shhhhh."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Huh, what? oh."
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Whispering] "Dorothy? can I call you mother? if it isn't so?"
Dorothy nods her head in agreement.
Jack Pumpkinhead:[Gasps And Sighs In Relief]
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Thanks, Mother."
Dorothy: [Whispering] "Tik Tok, are you listenin' to me? don't say anything at all, this is Jack Pumpkinhead, right after I'm finished windin' you up, go right upstairs with him and I'll explain what you'll need to do."
[Winding Sounds]
Cut to Jack Pumpkinhead and Pops/Tik Tok walking around right up the stair steps..........
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Did you understand all of that, Tik Tok?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "I understand it way better than you do."
Cut back to Dorothy entering Miss Poogy's/Mombi's bedroom........
[Light Snoring Sounds]
Cut back to Pops/Tik Tok and Jack Pumpkinhead building Mickey Moose/the Flying Gump.
Pops/Tik Tok: [Clears Throat] "Very good, now and get the head, Jack, hurry up."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Yes, Tik Tok sir."
Pops/Tik Tok (off screen): "Billina, where's that plug?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Squawking]
Pops/Tik Tok: "Right over here, Billina."
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Groans Heavily]
Pops/Tik Tok: "That's it, Jack."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucks] "What is that thing?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "It's the head of a gump."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Oh, right."
Cut back to Dorothy in Miss Poogy/Mombi's bedroom........
[Light Snoring Sounds Continue]
Dorothy unties the black rope around the headless Miss Poogy's/Mombi's right hand.
Headless Miss Poogy/Mombi: [Snorts]
[Snoring Continues]
Dorothy takes Miss Poogy's/Mombi's cabinet key right off Miss Poogy's/Mombi's bed.
Cut back to the Muppet Chicken/Billina, Pops/Tik Tok and Jack Pumpkinhead building the rest of Mickey Moose/ the flying Gump.........
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Here's a broom, Tik Tok, it'll make a perfect tail for the Gump."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Perfect, now we must put the Gump's head right in front and tie Jack's feet together as always at the exact same time............."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Right, tie my feet together as always at the exact same time."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Bring that mantelpiece right to the desk and anoint the palms."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Right, anoint the palms."
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Grunts]
Pops/Tik Tok: "That's right, Jack, left, right and wrong."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "What are you speaking about, Tik Tok?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Grownup ladies and pumpkinheads make chickens fly around the coop."
Billina (animatronic): "Coop?"
Cut back to Dorothy in the hallway of the female heads..........
Dorothy walks around over to cabinet number 38 where Miss Poogy/Mombi's original head is kept along with the powder of life.
Dorothy opens the cabinet.
Dorothy: [Gasps In Fear]
Dorothy knocks over 1 of the containers which wakes up Miss Poogy/Mombi's head.
Miss Poogy/Mombi's Head: "Dorothy Gale!"
The other female Muppet heads wake up in surprise.
Dorothy (Fifi) grabs the powder of life.
Miss Poogy's/Mombi's Head: [Growls In Anger]
Female Muppet Heads: [Screaming In Fear]
Miss Poogy's/Mombi's Head: "Dorothy Gale! .Dorothy Gale!"
The headless Miss Poogy/Mombi wakes up and chases right after Dorothy.
[Gurgling Sounds]
Miss Poogy's/Mombi's Head: "Nobody runs away from me, nobody runs away from Mombi."
Dorothy sees Miss Piggy/Ozma trapped inside the mirror.
Miss Poogy's/Mombi's Head: "Where's my powder of life?"
Dorothy: "Mombi's awake."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh dear."
Dorothy: "It's not finished yet."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking] "Tik Tok went extremely beserk!"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Tickle me, tickle me."
Dorothy: "His brain just ran down..............."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Ah, bah."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "If his brain's ran down, how can he speak?"
Dorothy: "It happens to some people all the time, Jack, tie the palm leaves to the sofa, fast, Billina, help him out!"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Oh, we need another plug."
Dorothy: "Well hurry up!"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Oh thank goodness, Dorothy, I'm alright now."
Dorothy: "Go out the door and watch out for Mombi."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Alright, Dorothy, I'll do it."
Dorothy sprinkles the powder of life on Mickey Moose's/the Gump's broom tail, and the palm leaf wings.
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Just make sure you do the head so it can see where it's going."
Dorothy sprinkles the powder of life on Mickey Moose's/the Gump's head.
Dorothy: "It's not working."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh there must've been some magic words on that container."
Dorothy: "What were they? think, Jack?"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Think?"
Dorothy: "You need to remember."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "I wasn't alive back then, how can I remember them?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Dorothy, read the directions!"
Dorothy: "I don't know those words!"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Well read them anyhow!"
Dorothy: "Weaugh, teaugh, peaugh."
Mickey Moose/Gump: "Peaugh?"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "That's it, it works,"
Dorothy: "it finally works!"
Cut back to Miss Poogy's/Mombi's headless body getting her head outta cabinet number 38..........
Miss Poogy's/Mombi's Head: [Growling In Anger] "Well hurry up, hurry up."
Miss Poogy's/Mombi's Head: "I'll try and stop you!"
Pops/Tik Tok: "She's coming right up here."
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Hah! Dorothy Gale!"
Dorothy: "Jack, go and help Tik Tok get aboard, Billina, get in there!"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "You better wait for me!"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "A red and white chicken?"
Dorothy: "Can you flap your wings, Mr. Gump?"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "I don't have any wings."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Right now you do."
Mickey Moose/Gump: "I guess you're absolutely right, I do."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Jump right in there, Tik Tok."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Help me up there, Dorothy."
Mickey Moose/Gump: "Easy, isn't it?"
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Dorothy Gale!"
Miss Poogy/Mombi enters the tower room.
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "So!"
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Dorothy: "Fly away, fly away!"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh you better wait for me!"
Dorothy: "Jack, hurry up!"
Jack Pumpkinhead: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Stop right there!"
All 5 Good Friends: [Screaming In Fear]
Miss Poogy/Mombi: [Laughing Evilly]
Dorothy: "Fly away, fly away!"
The 5 good friends finally fly away..............
Dorothy: "We did it, we finally did it!"
Miss Poogy/Mombi: [Growls Angrily]
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Tik Tok, help me!"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Hang on, Jack!"
Dorothy: "Here, Jack, give me your right hand!"
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Grunting]
Dorothy: "Tik Tok, can you help me pull him over?"
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Wake up, all of you, get up!"
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: [Screaming In Surprise]
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Wake up, get up, look, Dorothy Gale's escaping, hurry up, go and get them back for me, all of you, go, go, go, and make sure you bring back that yellow orange chicken, don't come back without them."
[Musical Draw Bridge: Miss Poogy/Mombi's Killer Queen Song]
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: She keeps a Moet 
et Chandon 
In her pretty cabinet 
let them eat cake 
she says 
find me 
on the internet 
a built-in remedy 
for Khrushchev 
and Kennedy 
at anytime 
an invitation 
you can't decline
 Other Muppet friends/Wheelers (continued): caviar and cigarettes 
well versed 
in etiquette 
extraordinarily nice
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: she's a Killer 
queen 
gun powder 
gelatine 
dynamite 
with a laser bean 
guaranteed 
to blow your mind
anytime
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers (continued): recommended 
at the price 
insatiable 
an appetite 
wanna try?
[Music Plays In Background]
Miss Poogy/Mombi: to avoid complications 
I never keep 
the same address 
in conversation 
I email like a baroness 
met a man 
from China 
went down to 
Asia Minor 
then again 
incidentally 
if you're 
that way 
inclined
 Miss Poogy/Mombi (continued): perfume came 
virtually
from Paris
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: virtually
Miss Poogy/Mombi: for cars 
I couldn't 
care less 
fastidious 
and precise 
I'm a killer
 Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: she's a killer 
queen 
gun powder 
gelatine 
dynamite 
with a laser bean 
guaranteed 
to blow your mind
.anytime
[Music Continues Playing In Background]
Miss Poogy/Mombi: drop of a hat 
I'm as willing as 
playful 
as a pussy cat 
then momentarily
 outta action 
temporarily 
outta gas 
to absolutely 
drive you 
wild 
wild
I'm out to get you.
Cut back to Dorothy, the Muppet chicken/Billina, Jack Pumpkinhead, Pops/Tik Tok and Mickey Moose/the Gump flying around all over the wilderness.........
Mickey Moose/Gump: "The last thing I remember is walking around through the wilderness and hearing loud sounds, and hear I am flying around the evening skies, what am I anyhow?"
Dorothy: "You're just a.............a flying thing with a gump's head on it, we built you and brought you to life so that you can take us to the Nome King's mountain to rescue the Scarecrow."
Mickey Moose/Gump:"I might not last for a super long time, I'm not feeling very well put together as always."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh please don't say that."
Muppet Chicken/Billina (off screen): "How do we know where to land? it's awfully dark down there."
Dorothy: "The Nome King's mountain's straight ahead, I think."
Pops/Tik Tok: "The best thing to do is to keep flying 'til morning time, then maybe we can find a safer place to land."
Dorothy: "That's a good idea, Tik Tok."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh, uh, Mr. Gump? can you just keep flying around straight ahead?"
Mickey Moose/Gump: [Chuckling] "I don't think I can turn if I wanna."
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Why don't we just fly back home to Kansas?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Yawns]
Dorothy: "Whatever happens, I'm awfully tired right now, and I'm just lucky to have my own head to be tired with."
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Whispering] "Good night, Mother."
Dorothy: "Mmmmmmm.........goodnight, Jack."
Cut back to Miss Poogy's/Mombi's mansion...................
[Lute Music Playing]
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Ozma, nobody's gonna help you, nobody knows exactly where you are, there's nobody left who even knows who you are."
Cut back to the other Muppet friends/the Wheelers on the chase patrol............
Cut back to Dorothy, the Muppet chicken/Billina, Pops/Tik Tok, Jack Pumpkinhead and Mickey Moose/the Gump flying around the evening skies............
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Who the heck are they?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Those are Wheelers............"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh, Mr. Gump, can't you fly any faster?"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "Not unless of course 1 of you needs to jump off."
Jack Pumpkinhead (animatronic): "Oh, right, Tik Tok, you're the heaviest."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Hmmph."
[Evil Laughing In Distance]
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "The Deadly Desert!"
Andy/Wheeler Number 2: "The Deadly Desert!"
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: [Screaming In Fear]
Pops/Tik Tok: "We're over the Deadly Desert, Jack."
[Ropes Creaking And Tearing]
The very next morning..................
[Creaking And Clattering]
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Mother, wake up."
[Whining Sounds]
Dorothy: "What is happenin'?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "The ropes are breaking apart."
Dorothy: "Oh my gosh."
Pops/Tik Tok: [Grunts]
Billina: "I knew it, we're all gonna fall apart."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Are we gonna land right now, Mother?"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "Other side, Tik Tok, the rope's on the other side!"
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Jack Pumpkinhead: "I'll get it."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Help me, help me, Mother!"
Dorothy (Fifi): "Sacre bleu, Jack............."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Hurry up!.whoaaaaaaaaaa!"
Dorothy: "Hurry up, Mr. Gump, fly down, Jack just lost his head over the sidin'!"
[Panting Sounds]
Dorothy: "We're gonna save you, Jack!"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "I wasn't made to make signal turns."
Dorothy: "Try, you need to try!"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "Well, alright, hang on, I'm not really sure I know how to do this."
Dorothy: "Hang on, Tik Tok!"
Pops/Tik Tok: "I'm hanging on, Dorothy!"
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Hang in there, Dorothy!"
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Wailing In Fear]
[Wailing Continues]
Dorothy: "Jack, can you hear me?!?"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "I'm.............feeling........extremely.......dizzy and tired!"
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dorothy catches Jack Pumpkinhead's head and places it right on his entire body.
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Thanks, Mother."
Doroth: "Somebody please help me!"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "I'll save you, Mother!"
All 5 Good Friends: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 
Muppet Chicken/Billina: "Abandon ship!"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "If I had a stomach of steel, I know I'd be terribly ill."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "I'm terribly sorry, Mother!"
Dorothy: "It's alright, Jack, it can't be helped right now!"
=== Outside Constantine's/the Nome King's mountain ===
Dorothy, Muppet Chicken/Billina, Pops/Tik Tok and Mickey Moose/the Gump land right at Constantine's/the Nome King's mountain.
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Wailing]
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Squawking And Clucking]
Mickey Moose/Gump: "Hmm, that was quite an experience, wasn't it?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Get me outta here."
Dorothy: "Tik Tok."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Get me outta here."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Get me outta here, get me outta here, oh."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Thanks a bunch, Dorothy."
Dorothy: "Jack, are you feeling alright?"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Why are all of you standing right on your heads?"
Muppet Chicken/Billina: [Clucking] "Where are we anyhow?"
Dorothy: "We're at the Nome king's mountain."
Pops/Tik Tok: "The Nome King, whoopsy."
Pops/Tik Tok: [Grunting]
Pops/Tik Tok: [Strains] "Thanks a bunch, Dorothy."
Dorothy: "Tik Tok, you need to be more careful."
Cut back to a close up of the Evil Nome Minion's face.........
Evil Nome Minion: "Yes, Your Highness? you called?"
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "What's that noise going on up there?"
Evil Nome Minion: "Uh, I don't know, Your Highness."
Constantine/Nome King: "Well find out about it."
Cut back to Dorothy and her good friends...........
Jack Pumpkinhead: "What about the Gump? he's in a few pieces............"
Mickey Moose/Gump: "And lucky me, I'm so much proud being just a head, thanks a bunch."
Dorothy: "I think we should tie him right back on the sofa, then at least he can walk around."
Mickey Moose/Gump: "Oh dear......."
Pops/Tik Tok: "Every single head must have a good body if it expects to get around."
Mickey Moose/Gump: "It doesn't look like there's much of any place to get around to."
Close up of the Evil Nome Minion's face..............
Evil Nome Minon: "She escaped from Mombi somehow and crossed over the Deadly Desert, right now, she's on our mountain with a little army."
Constantine/Nome King: "She's more powerful than I thought she would be, but what about the red and white chicken?"
Evil Nome Minion: "There's no sign of the red and white chicken."
Cut back to Dorothy, Muppet Chicken/Billina, Pops/Tik Tok and Jack Pumpkinhead tying Mickey Moose's/the Gump's head right back on the sofa..........
Mickey Moose/Gump: "This is terrible and horrible, do you suppose I would meet another gump? I would pass away 1 single minute of embarrassment."
Dorothy: "Oh I don't think you'll need to worry about meeting any other gumps up here."
Constantine/Nome King: "Tell me exactly who you are, and why exactly you have come all the way to my kingdom, and what can I do to make you cheerful?"
Pops/Tik Tok: "That must be the Nome King."
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Well where is he? I don't think I see anybody?"
Dorothy: "I'm Dorothy Gale, Your Highness, and those are my good friends Tik Tok, Jack, Billina and the Gump."
Constantine/Nome King: "Not exactly the Dorothy Gale from uh........Kansas?"
Dorothy: "Yes, Your Highness we came to ask you to release the Scarecrow and to restore the Emerald City."
Constantine/Nome King: "You believe that I already stolen something, Dorothy, and you want me to give it back to where it belongs."
Dorothy: "Yes, Your Highness."
Constantine/Nome King: "So if somebody steals something, you think the right thing is for them to give it back to where it belongs."
Dorothy: "Yes, Your Highness."
Constantine/Nome King: "And what if they don't wanna give it back to where it belongs?"
Dorothy: "Well then, we're here with our army to defeat you and force you to give it back to where it belongs."
Constantine/Nome King: "An army?"
Pops/Tik Tok: [Clanks On Helmet]
Constantine/Nome King: [Chuckles Evilly]
[Chuckling Gets Louder]
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Mother, why is he laughing at us?"
[Loud Rumbling Sounds]
Constantine/Nome King: [Laughing Evilly And Coughing Silently]
Constantine/Nome King: "An army."
[Evil Laughing Continues]
Constantine/Nome King: "An army!"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Dorothy, .look out!"
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dorothy: "I am, I am, I am!"
Pops/Tik Tok: "Oh, Dorothy!"
Jack Pumpkinhead: "Oh dear, Mother!"
Dorothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "All of the precious gems in the entire universe are made here in my underground dominions, all made for me, by my nome minions, so just imagine how I'd feel .when somebody from the universe above digs down and steals my treasures, all of those emeralds in the Emerald City really belong to me, I was just taking back what exactly was mine to begin with."
Dorothy: "You got so much."
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "I beg your pardon?"
Dorothy: "You got so much!"
Constantine/Nome King: "That's not exactly the point."
Dorothy: [Grunts]
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "I'm not the criminal."
Kermit/Scarecrow: "Dorothy!"
Dorothy: "Scarecrow!"
[Loud Thunderstorm]
Constantine/Nome King (off screen): "Your good friend's the criminal."
Dorothy: "Wait, what just happened to the Scarecrow? where is he?"
Constantine/Nome King: "Oh, I transformed him into a little ornament, into a little amusing and beautiful green ornament for my throne room, I been planning to do it for quite some time and your coming here reminded me, thanks a bunch."
Dorothy: "But you can't do that to him!"
Constantine/Nome King: "Now, now, let's try not to lose it, if you guess which ornament is the Scarecrow and say the word Oz at once, he'll be back to the way he was before."
Dorothy: "Oh really? I can?"
Constantine/Nome King: "If you and the others can take my guessing games."
All 4 Muppet friends: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The 4 Muppet friends land right inside Constantine's/the Nome King's mountain.
Cut back to the other Muppet friends/Wheelers.............
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Alright then, where are Dorothy and the others? and where's that red and white chicken?"
Uncle Deadly/Wheeler Number 1: "They escaped."
Other Muppet friends/Wheelers: [Chattering]
Randy/Wheeler Number 3: "The Nome King's mountain,"
Andy/Wheeler Number 2: "we need to warn him about that red and white chicken."
Miss Poogy/Mombi: "Take me to the Nome King, you crazy idiots."
Category:Transcripts
Category:Muppet television specials scripts