Body Closet

Body Closet is thirteenth episode in the first season of Fantendo Now. It is the thirteenth episode overall. 
==Synopsis==
Rachel starts dating someone that may not be what they say they are. 
==Transcript==
Rachel and Unten are ice skating and chatting.
:Rachel: It's getting kind of cold out there. 
:Unten: Well, it is December.
:Rachel: Yeah, but the cold starts later, doesn't it? It never starts in the beginning of December.
:Unten: Well maybe down there but here it gets pretty cold early.
:Rachel: Right.
:Unten: So uh... how's Robyn?
:Rachel: She's... good. She's made some friends. They're taking good care of her.
:Unten: ...sorry.
:Rachel: No... it's fine.
Rachel stops at a gate built into the wall.
:Rachel: Hey, I'm gonna get some hot chocolate, I'll be right back.
:Unten: Okay!
Unten skates on his lonesome until Leah comes across him.
:Unten: Hi?
:Leah: Heyo.
:Unten: What do you want?
:Leah: I'm not here for anything.
:Unten: No... you always want something. 
Leah rolls her eyes.
:Leah: Look, I'm just here to provide you some goddamn company for once in your lonely existence, is that a reason enough? X-Ray's home sick-
:Unten: Didn't you vaccinate her?
:Leah: Something slipped through I guess.
:Unten: Well, hope she gets better.
:Leah: She will... she will. What were you and Rachel talking about? Does it involve me?
:Unten: It never involves you!
:Leah: How the fuck am I supposed to know?
:Unten: I dunno. 
:Leah: How long does it take Rachel to get hot chocolate usually?
:Unten: Why?
:Leah: Cuz it looks like it's gonna be a while.
Leah points to the window, where they can clearly see Rachel talking with some guy.
----
Unten sits on the couch next to Sakeena as Rachel and her new boyfriend, Hal, talk in the other room.
:Sakeena: Do you know how they met or?
:Unten: Me?
:Sakeena: Yeah, I wanna do fanfiction.
:Unten: I dunno, I was chatting with Leah and then she pointed at the window and they were talking.
:Sakeena: Hrm. 
:Unten: What?
:Sakeena: Usually I'm good at writing couples with no basis in canon, but this one I just can't and this one is canon, so what...? 
:Unten: Canon?
:Sakeena: I feel like.. this isn't genuine on his part.
:Unten: Well, who am I to judge who Rachel dates?
:Sakeena: Who am I?
:Unten: Like... you know... what kind of person would I be to judge the kind of people Rachel dates?
:Sakeena: Yeah, but my sentence had nothing to do with you.
:Rachel: Bye Unten and Sakeena! See ya after the date!
Rachel and Hal leave.
:Sakeena: You wanna stalk them?
:Unten: What?
:Sakeena: It'll be fun, we'll like hiding in the potted plant and then I can pose as a waiter while you get into shenanigans in the kitchen...
:Unten: Why the hell would I do that? I wouldn't like it if I got stalked on my date.
:Sakeena: You never wanna do anything fun.
Sakeena leaves the room as Unten lays on the couch and sleeps.
----
Strafe, Unten, PalmMan, Sakeena, and Leah get burgers.
:Unten: ...where is Rachel?
:Leah: Probably still sore from last night... if you know what I mean.
:Unten: Why would she be sore?
Strafe whispers into Unten's ear.
:Unten: Leah!
Leah sticks her tongue out.
:Unten: ...ugh.
:Leah: Oh never mind, she's here.
Rachel sits down. Unten gets the impression something is off, but maybe she's just sore.
:Sakeena: So, how did it go?
:Rachel: Well, I didn't appreciate the stalking.
:Unten: You actually did it?
:Sakeena: What else was I gonna do on a Friday night? Be pathetic?
Rachel rolls her eyes.
:Rachel: What are we eating, burgers?
:Unten: Yeah we usually get burgers every once in a while.
:Rachel: We can't be eating this junk food, come on. 
:Unten: I thought you liked this...
:Rachel: Nah, let's eat something more healthy. Bodies are fragile things after all!
:Sakeena: Oh... alright...
:PalmMan: Fuck this, I'm eating my burger. 
----
ONE WEEK LATER
Unten enters the Tropical Glacier where Strafe, PalmMan and Sakeena are meeting.
:Unten: Why are we here?
:Strafe: Rachel won't let us eat anything that's not some healthy bullshit. 
:Unten: Wouldn't she know we're here?
:Strafe: None of us told her that we'd be here.
:Unten: Hah...
Unten puts away his phone.
:Unten: So... we're gonna eat here in secret now or?
:PalmMan: No. We're gonna find out what's up.
:Unten: It is a bit of a drastic lifestyle change, sure, but we should respect her privacy.
:Sakeena: Look, I've written Rachel in my fanfictions pretty well, this is very out of character for her. 
:Unten: Fine! You guys are right. What are we gonna do about it?
:Strafe: Break into her boyfriend's house.
:Unten: I'm sorry... what?
A woman behind the counter looks stern with Strafe.
:Woman: Hey, as a former crook myself, I don't recommend it.
:Strafe: It's not a crime if we have good intentions.
:Unten: ...IT'S STILL A CRIME! OH my GOD.
:Sakeena: Look, we're just gonna snoop around a bit, see if there's anything really fishy. If not, we'll leave like 30 bucks to replace the window.
:Strafe: What, are you a goody two shoes now? We're sneaking into this place, seeing what's up, and just leave or end it. 
:Unten: Ya'll are supposed to be the good guys! I'm a horrible leader if we're seriously doing this!
:Strafe: We're doing it tonight. 
:Unten: Ugh... I'm only tagging along to make sure you don't do anything stupid.
:Strafe: Fair enough.
The woman rolls her eyes and perks up as she sees a man in a green polo shirt enter.
:Unten: Wonder what their story is.
:Strafe: Eh, time to get ready, come on!
----
Strafe and the others stand before Hal's house. 
:Strafe: Alright. Unten and PalmMan will go on the first floor, me and Sakeena are gonna look at the upper floors. Sneak around, don't steal.
:PalmMan: Ooh... don't call me PalmMan. If we're doing this, I wanna be called...
PalmMan pauses for dramatic effect.
:PalmMan: SneakMan.
:Strafe: No, nobody's gonna be calling you SneakMan.
:PalmMan: I want to be called SneakMan though!
:Unten: Jesus Christ. Just call him SneakMan so we can get done with this. Fucking hell.
:Strafe: Fine, SneakMan, go with Unten. 
:SneakMan: Alright, cool.
The gang breaks in through a window, being much louder than expected.
:Strafe: SHHHHHH!
:SneakMan: You shush! I'm the SneakMan around here.
Strafe sighs heavily as the group breaks into the dark house. Unten and SneakMan glance around.
:SneakMan: (whispering harshly) You see anything?
:Unten: No...
:SneakMan: Alright, I'll be up against this wall... sneaking.
Unten rolls his eyes as he trips over a trapdoor.
:Unten: ...Huh. 
----
Strafe and Sakeena look up stairs.
:Strafe: This place is... weirdly empty for a couple. 
:Sakeena: Absolutely.
:Strafe: He's gotta be hiding something, right?
:Sakeena: For sure.
:Strafe: Mmm... 
Strafe looks at a thong on the floor.
:Strafe: We should probably...
:Sakeena: Yeah...
Strafe and Sakeena step out of the room. They bump into SneakMan.
:Strafe: PalmMan?
:SneakMan: It's SneakMan!
:Strafe: Where's Unten?
SneakMan shrugs.
:Strafe: Oh no...
Strafe runs downstairs. SneakMan sneaks downstairs much to Strafe's annoyance.
:Strafe: He probably went down this trap door, we should follow. 
:SneakMan: Sneakily.
:Strafe: Shut up.
----
Unten walks down a dark passageway.
:Unten: Rachel?
The tunnel echoes.
:Unten: Not looking good...
Unten turns around to see Rachel in athletic wear.
:Unten: Oh... thank god you're still alive!
Unten hugs Rachel, who returns the hug.
:Rachel: C'mon, I gotta show you this.
:Unten: ...alright. But then we're getting out of here, okay...? 
:Rachel: Yeah, yeah, alright. 
:Unten: I don't like what your new boyfriend has made you do... he changed so much of you.
Rachel stops.
:Rachel: I guess so... but it was the proper precautions, I think.
:Unten: Precautions to what? Becoming this boring person who won't even let us eat a burger and demands we exercise three hours a day? 
:Rachel: You need to keep your body healthy.
:Unten: Yeah, so what? You ate a steak without cutting it up, you drive motorcycles to get around, and you used to crash on the weekends in sweats eating cheese puffs. What changed?
:Rachel: You'll see soon enough.
:Unten: ...what happened to my friend?
:Rachel: I said you'll see soon enough.
Rachel opens a door, revealing a large room filled with bodies in cryofreeze chambers.
:Unten: What... the fuck?
:Rachel: I suppose I should explain myself. I'm not really Rachel... well I mean I am, but I'm just using her body.
:Unten: W-why?
:Rachel: She suited my needs. A young woman with natural black hair, great metabolism... perfect body to suit my needs here.
:Unten: She let you do this?
:Rachel: Not exactly, no. Truth be told, her screaming was almost enough to put me off, but I'm stronger than that. I am Halcyon, after all. It's what I do. These bodies... all mine to use.
:Unten: Why would you tell me all this?
:Halcyon!Rachel: Well, you would have figured it out sooner or later. Looking through her memories... it seems like you have quite a crush on this "Rachel". 
Unten stands flustered but angry.
:Unten: So what?
:Halcyon!Rachel: Come on, don't you want me?
:Unten: N-y-no!
:Halcyon!Rachel: Well, I could always use a Beorn body, in that case.
Halcyon!Rachel grabs Unten. Strafe and Sakeena burst in.
:Strafe: Rachel!
:Sakeena: Unten!
SneakMan sneaks in.
:SneakMan: God damn it, you guys took the exclamations I was gonna use.
:Halcyon!Rachel: Oh... your friends are here. Shame we couldn't keep it a secret-
Unten kicks Halcyon in the stomach. Halcyon falls to the floor.
:Halcyon: Think about Rachel, would you...? This is her body...
Unten pauses. He looks around, seeing Hal's body. A cord is limply attached to it.
:Unten: ...I know where her mind is. 
Unten releases Hal's body, awakening it.
:Hal: Unten?
:Strafe: Rachel...
:Hal: Oh god, why am I in Hal's body?
:Unten: No time to explain!
Halcyon charges towards Unten. A cord is attached to him by SneakMan. Unten flips a switch, shocking both Hal and Rachel's bodies. Both bodies fall to the floor, groaning in agony.
:Unten: Thanks SneakMan.
:Rachel: Ugh... where am I?
:Strafe: We'll... explain later.
Sakeena traps Hal's body in metal.
:Unten: We'll have F.A.N.T deal with this. Let's get Rachel home.
:Rachel: ...Sounds good...
Rachel is dragged out by Unten and Strafe.
----
Rachel wears a blanket and drinks some coffee.
:Rachel: So my boyfriend was a mind-switching creep huh.
:Unten: Yeah.
:Rachel: Wonder what he did with my body.
:Unten: You were mostly exercising and eating healthy.
Rachel spits onto the floor.
:Rachel: Gross. 
:Unten: Heh... yeah. You're okay, right?
:Rachel: Yeah, I'm fine if a bit sore. Thanks... for getting me out of there. 
:Unten: No problem.
:Rachel: You're a good friend, you know that? You're not perfect, sure, but I could have been some dude's puppet body for who knows how long.
:Unten: Well, it was mostly Strafe.
:Rachel: That doesn't really change much though. I'm glad you're my friend, even if things are a little awkward between us. 
Unten nods.
:Rachel: I dunno. I feel fairly confident about my decision. The situation isn't really ideal between us but you didn't get weird when I started dating some weirdo. That's a lot better than anyone else ever did for me in the past. 
Rachel hugs him.
:Unten: I'm totally okay if you want to date anyone else. 
:Rachel: Don't think I'll be trying it with anyone else but... thanks.
Rachel sips her coffee as she stares out to the stars.
:Rachel: Your old friends are out there, I know it. Just... don't forget us if we ever find them, okay? That would be devastating to me. 
:Unten: I couldn't ever forget you guys. Especially not you.
Rachel smiles.
:Rachel: That's good to know. I know I'm not the most interesting person but...
:Unten: Rachel... that's not even remotely true. You're probably the most interesting person I know. 
Rachel sits in silence.
:Rachel: And you... well, you're definitely up there. Don't let anyone get you down. 
Unten and Rachel sit and gaze out at the stars as the episode ends.
THE END
==Gallery==
Hal_Halcyon.png|Hal
Category:Fantendo Now
Category:Fantendo Now Episodes