The Minecraft Hacker chatpasta

*I was walking down the street and it turns out I was in Brooklyn
*and I met Patrixxx in an alleyway
*He sold me lots of drugs
*and i sucked his dick
*Then I killed him for more drugs
*Then i sucked nothing because he was dead
*and he was watching me like a bear watches a bear ʕ　·ᴥ·ʔ　ʕ·ᴥ·　ʔ
*He was my ultimato formo dicksia
*Then Reggie and Miyamoto came out of nowhere and took me to Miyamoto's basement
*It was full of Pokemon merchandise
*and rape.
*then i sucked miyamoto off
*My butthole was penetrated
*The Nintendo logo shows up
*Then I went super saiyan and hypnosized their penises with these eyes *(۞_۞)*
*Reggies penis was not effected or amused.
*Then Reggie said that his body was ready
*Then reggies dick grew 40x bigger
*and anally penetrated me
*The second piercing hurt the most.
*and I said DEAL WITH IT
*
*(۞_۞)*
*I broke free from the basement and ran into the street
*got hit by a car
*and obtained pyschic powers
*now my body is made of
*CARDBOARD
*Then I made a minecraft server and it got attacked by a DoS attack and I was like (۶ૈ ᵒ̌ Дᵒ̌)۶ૈ=͟͟͞͞ ⌨
*Throwing my iPenis
*THEN I WENT THROUGH THE COMPUTER SCREEN AND STUCK MY DICK IN THE DOSSER AND HE DEID
*Then I wrote a shitty pasta on CPW and got blocked for not adding it to the listy
*then I spammed Cleric's talk page
*and they called me mean names
*Then Kate Middleton started having labour and it was like so awkward because she was like this ໒(⁄›˅̭‹∖)७
*OMG CLERIK U DIK WAD FEGT NIGR JOO i said to cleric in perfect grammer
*Then XxPruVelenciaXX sent me Goatse but it looked like -ϵ⭕϶-
*Nothing much but a spiked orb.
*then i furiously fapped to goatse
*Then a real goat appeared on your screen
*and a (•ᴥ• )́`́'́`́'́⻍ spiked the goat
*Then you turned around and Lenny was watching you
*then i came on lenny and reggies faces
*Then I decided to watch Game of Thrones, but GF1 spoiled it and I was like ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎)
*then i killed GF1
*Then Playstation 69 was invented, and I was waiting so long: |ʘ̆⺫ʘ̆|
*then i masturbated to the Playstation 69 all night long
*Then I became a Koala ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
*That's the end
*:D
*BUT THEN
*
*I WAS AN INTERN AND GOT FIRED FOR WATCHING THE LOST EPISODE 
*the end
*BHUT JSUT DEN
*I GOT REHIRD AND KILD 4 BEIN A JEW TEH END
Credits
Writers: MeisterMicester , XXProValenciaXx, User:Gradonic 
Special thanks to MeisterMicester for being a jew
:D
Category:WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS!?!
Category:Val's Valence
Category:ASCII