Elvis: The Truth

Wrongly accused of being wrong, Michele Bachmann hailed the grand occasion of Elvis's birthday on August 16, 2011, while stumping on her--God help us all--Presidential tour. But Bachmann may not have been wrong at all. OK, if we just disregard those pesky facts about the King of Rock and Roll, we can see the truth behind her statements of salutation on the "birthday" of Elvis. The fact is, as Michele Bachmann well knows, Elvis is alive! Yes, it is Elvis himself who calls Aug 16th his "birthday." The day when, at great expense and with superb showmanship he staged his own death on a gold plated toilet, holding a bottle of percocet in one hand and a peanut butter and banana sandwich in the other. No easy task. And at his funeral, just who was the strange hooded figure in the rhinstone-studded boots at the back of the room? Well, the King himself. And who was the little girl who he bounced on his knee? The next--God help us all--President of the United States, Michelle Bachmann? Some may be unsure, but I think Ms. Bachmann just tipped her hand...