Wizard 31

Chapter 31
Richard turns to Shota and, shock and awe, it's his mother! Whose name we don't know! Richard is all, What? And Shota is all, It's me, Mommy. Richard remembers his mother and when he hit her in the head as a child (no, really). But he knows it's Shota.
Suddenly, Zedd appears! He orders Richard to stand aside and throws wizard's fire at Shota. Richard thinks that Shota is his only way to find the last magic box, so he plays bodyguard, blocking the wizard's fire with his sword. This somehow works, despite it having nothing to do with the sword's magic as it has been explained so far. \~/ Shota throws magic dust at Zedd and paralyzes him.
Shota no longer looks like Mommy; instead, she wears “a wispy dress with variegated shades of gray across its gauzy surface, its folds and loose points floating in the light breeze.” She has auburn hair and flawless skin, and almond eyes. She is utterly gorgeous; we know because the book says so.
Richard and Shota talk. Shota says she will kill Zedd and Kahlan later. She thanks Richard for saving her, even while insisting it was completely unnecessary, and grants him a wish as reward. Richard immediately wishes for Zedd and Kahlan to be let go unharmed. Shota tries to talk him into wishing for knowledge of the magic box instead, but he's having none of it.
We learn that Gollum was the last Ringbearer Seeker, and Zedd took the One Ring Sword of Truth from him, which is why he thinks of it as his. \~/ Shota hints that the magic of the Ring sword will turn Frodo Richard into a Gollum-like creature in time. \~/
It turns out that Zedd was an illusion Shota made to test Richard. She can apparently see the future (though, like all prophets, not in any useful way) and says that Zedd will use wizard's fire against Richard at some point. Also, Kahlan will use her Magical Mystery Power on him. Shota insists that it would be best for all concerned if Richard would allow her to kill Kahlan now; clearly, witch women understand the danger of mind vampires.
Kahlan then goes all emo and insists that Shota kill her so she doesn't use her Magical Mystery Power on Richard. Shota refuses, even removing the snakes, because she gave her word. Kahlan tries to kill herself, but Richard stops her. Isn't it great to see characters with such faith in themselves? Whatever happened to “believe in yourself?” Anyway, Shota says that Queen Milena has the last magic box, but she won't for long. She also promises to kill Richard if he ever returns to Agaden Reach.
Thus ends that chapter, and none too soon.
Drinks: 3
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