Bandit's Diary

(Note, Bandit's spelling has been improved to encourage readibility)
Lingustics Check DC 12 to decipher.
Day 1 (Written during a Blizzard)
So I stoled this thang from a wizzard or sommthin. We beats him senseless but he not tells us where he gots his good stuff hidden. All we gots is a daily spellbook and a diplomatic letter of marque and credit. Sez he wuz on emportant mission to Fallion from Brevoy and we aints supposed to stops him n' that he hids his good stuff while he's out and huntin' til' da' storm blows over [See Wizard's Cache]. Cap'n Dane slit his throat for that, told him dat da Stag Lord and hees men don' take none o' that deeplomatic crap since wee ees the rulin' folks round hereabouts.
The weezard, he was a fat son-of-a-mother-whoreson-son-of-a-beach-son-of-a- (and it goes on like that for about a page)
Mama always said I should keep up my riting or else it would dekay.
Day 10
Lester put a scorpion in my bedroll last night. It bit me bad in the sack. Tomorrow I gots a big surprise for him.
Day 25
I gots 25 lashes for whats I did to Lester. But it was worth it. Cap'n Dane can beeech me out about how we don' go puttin Ettercap poison in our par'ners teacups, but hey, I de one alive an' Lester de one dead, ain't he? So who's write and who's wong?
Day 28
Demn dat Cap'n Dane. He won't let me go to see de Stag Lord, says I's not worthy. He left me here to guard our stash with Manny, and Igny, while he n' Potter n' Kresh get to meet wit' d' Big Man heeself.
Day 35
Cap'n Dane came back from the meetin' cursin' up somethin' heavy. Seems the Stag Lord's got a couple of new favorites- one o' dem's s'poosed to be some sort o' Paladin. I kent believe that. But Cap'n Dane has to stay out here with us while the other heavies gets to raid out by the Hooktongue Slough and ta' deal wit' de' ol' buried gold near troll lands. Dane should be thankful. Pickin's here are easy wot wit' the travelers. I wouldn' wan' ta deal with a full-grown troll!
Day 55
One o' da Stag Lord's Lieutenants, Kressel, came over ta' teach us some things about axes. Potter didn' learn quite quick enough tha' other lesson she wert teachin' us. For his attempted night-visit ta' Kressel's tent, he came back missin' a bit o' hisself.
Day 62
Kressel headed out, and we burried Potter who just didn' quite make it.
Day 120 (or thereabouts)
So we heard that Kressel's lil' squeeze Happs Bydon got heemself kilt by a group of people up at Oleg's. Cap'n Dane said ta' best be on our lookout for dem beests that done dat ta' tha Lieutenant.
Category:Bandits