The Celestials

The Celestials are immortal, innumerable, extremely powerful beings who control and govern large swaths of the material universe. They can be conceptualized as divine, God-like beings whose influence is responsible for some of the most cataclysmic events that have ever occurred throughout the universe, including its very beginning and, of course, the creation of The Bloat.
== Overview ==
The Celestials are immensely powerful beings who reside primarily in a series of realms known as the Celestial Plane. They are timeless beings who have existed before the material universe came into being, and will continue to exist for eternity.
What a Celestial is depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is, as they cannot be defined in mortal terms and are completely beyond human understanding. They can exist simultaneously in multiple universes, be one and multiple beings all at once (literally being bi-polar with head-mates), and influence the material world to various degrees. A Celestial’s power is theoretically infinite in the Celestial Plane, but some Celestials chose to live primarily, or sometimes completely, in the material universe, which limits their power. Despite their assumed weaknesses in the mortal realms, no Celestial can be permanently killed or otherwise eliminated from existence and they persist even in states of near-death, such as the infamous W'rkncacnter. 
Some Celestials chose to govern planets and are as gods. Elohim is the tri-polar Celestial who watches over Earth and its inhabitants, as was finally revealed to His Prophet Joseph Smith in 1820 CE. However, Celestials are not necessarily supremely powerful or benevolent. While Elohim governs Earth and parts of the Celestial Plane for the purposes of his followers and his own, the Celestial known as Lucifer carved his own small empire out of his dark followers in both the Celestial realms and Earth and rules a region of the Celestial Plane known as the Outer Darkness. Lucifer is likewise responsible for the creation of numerous maladies in humans, most notably the eldritch disease known as The Bloat.  
== History ==
All Celestial history is divided in three parts, each of which is marked by the three great Celestial Wars. Each war occurred for various reasons, but all three had cataclysmic repercussions on the mortal realms.  
=== First Celestial War ===
The First Celestial War began in a time immemorable, before the creation of the universe itself. The reasons, length, character, and beginning of the war cannot be explained or determined in any mortal terms, as there is no comprehensible frame of reference from which one can understand the war. However, the war concluded with the creation of the universe directed by Elohim, through one of his tri-polar personalities known as Jehovah (who was also one of his spirit sons). 
The universe was created from existing chaotic matter in the Celestial plane and organized into the universe we know and love today in approximately the year 5000 BCE. Elohim created the mortal universe as a way to test the minor celestials by plunging them into a world of suffering and sin. Those who found and accepted Him and lead a righteous life would continue to live in the Celestial plane after their mortal death, and if deemed worthy enough, become a major Celestial and rule a world of their own. 
The losers of the First Celestial War continued to exist in the Celestial Plane, but lost much of their power and were forbidden by Elohim from having any influence in their mortal realms. Despite this divine restraining order, Lucifer, one of Elohim’s spirit sons, grew jealous of his spirit brother, Jehovah, and began a plot to seize the divine mandate over the mortal universe. 
=== Second Celestial War ===
The Second Celestial War, also known as “The War in Heaven” took place shortly after the conclusion of the First Celestial War, but before the creation of Earth. Lucifer had tried to convince the Godhead to disallow mortal agency, and grant all Celestials who would live in the mortal realm to eventually live among Elohim and the other major Celestials in the highest Celestial Realms. If this plan were to go forward, Lucifer, not Jehovah, would be responsible for the creation of Earth and humanity and Lucifer and his followers would have effective control over the entirety of the mortal universe.
Lucifer’s primary motivation for putting forth this proposal was to wrest control of the material universe from Jehovah and effectively join the Godhead, therefore sharing the being of Elohim and greatly expanding his own power throughout both the material universe and the Celestial Plane. Lucifer also enlisted support from the losers of the First Celestial War, who saw Lucifer’s plan as a means of potentially recovering their lost power and influence in the Celestial Plane. 
Elohim, however, saw through Lucifer’s plan and realized that coexistence with Lucifer and his followers would be impossible without endless warfare. In order to preserve peace in both the Celestial Plane and the mortal universe, Elohim, Jehovah, and Their followers cast Lucifer and his followers (about one third of the other minor and major Celestials) from the highest Celestial Realms into a region of the Celestial Plane that never knew His Presence and took away their ability to be born into the mortal realm. This region, The Outer Darkness, became the domain of Lucifer and his followers, who, in their anger, turned the Outer Darkness into a frozen hellscape that reflected their anger and bitterness towards the Godhead and Their favored Celestials.
While the War in Heaven was seemingly concluded, Lucifer retained much of his power as the Second Son of Elohim, and quickly found that he was able to influence the mortal world despite being unable to take a physical form there. Shortly after the formation of Earth and the creation of the first humans, Lucifer and his followers, now called Demons, began influencing humanity to turn away from Elohim and corrupt their Celestial souls.
The Second Celestial War was the only heavenly conflict to be revealed to Elohim’s prophet, Joseph Smith. 
=== Third Celestial War ===
Some argue that the Third Celestial War is merely a continuation of the Second, as that war never truly concluded as Lucifer and his followers continued to try to usurp the Godhead’s dominion over Earth and the mortal universe. Others, however, consider the Third Celestial War to be a separate series of events, as they ultimately led to the most consequential eldritch creation ever unleashed by Lucifer; The Bloat.
For four thousand years, Lucifer and his followers attempted to dislodge humanity from its divine path handed down by the Godhead, but were continuously thwarted by humanities own resilience to evil. As a result, Lucifer attempted to corrupt Celestial souls as they were reborn into mortal, human form. Down Syndrome, Autism, ADHD, Cerebral Palsy, Aspergers, Genger Dysmorphia, and Sexual Deviancy were all attempts by Lucifer to create demons-in-the-flesh, however most humans recognized these aberrations for what they were and cast them out of their communities, if not exterminated them outright.
By about 1200 BCE, Lucifer saw that his approach to corrupting humanity was all wrong. Humans had agency and were inherently corruptible, but spawning demons from their flesh was too obvious and easy to resist. Physically deformed humans and retards made poor demonic foot soldier, and with the notable exception of the Mongoloid race (The Mongols), they fared poorly in organized combat.  Instead, Lucifer influenced and greatly expanded in certain humans those emotions and feelings that were, at their heart, the most corruptible. Lucifer chose a particular group of humans in the Windward Steppes of what is today Russia who were particularly rich, greedy, lustful, and fat. He indulged this group and lardfully filled them with immense demonic power, resulting in the creation of The Bloat. 
The Bloat spread quickly across Earth, and seeing its success, Lucifer ordered his followers to create bloats on other worlds under Elohim’s control. Upon seeing this immense devastation unleashed upon the mortal realm, Elohim and his followers waded into the Outer Darkness to confront Lucifer, thus starting the Third Celestial War.
The Third Celestial War was waged and finished in both an instant and over an eternity, as time is immeasurable in the Celestial Plane, however the Celestials engaged Lucifer and his Demons all throughout the Outer Darkness. Despite their fewer numbers and their weakness compared to the Celestials, Lucifer and his Demons repelled Elohim and the Celestials from their realm, taking many Celestials captive to hold for eternity in continuous torment. Realizing that he could not win through heavenly force alone, Elohim and his Celestials retreated back to the Celestial Plane to focus on the true battleground; the mortal universe. Ultimately, The Bloat on Earth was stopped by Yakub, the big-headed scientist from Egypt, but all humans were effectively infested with latent Bloat energies, meaning that it could arise again and bring doom to the mortal realms, and the Celestial souls that resided within them. Many other worlds survived the Bloat as well, but others ultimately succumbed, with those worlds becoming a bastion of Lucifer and his followers. 
The Godhead took a more active role on Earth as a result, with Jehovah sacrificing himself on Earth to save human souls, and even revealing the Truth to Joseph Smith, however none of this was enough to stem the Tides of Bloat forever. 
=== Creation of Earth ===
The Celestials are responsible for the creation of the universe, Earth, and everything in it. Earth itself was created following the Second Celestial War by Jehovah under the direct guidance of Elohim. Earth was designed as a place for Celestial souls to live temporarily as a test in their faithfulness to Elohim and to give them agency in a realm that was not under the direct command of the Godhead. 
The first humans, Adam (the Celestial soul of Archangel Michael) and Eve (The Celestial Soul of one of Elohim’s daughters; her Celestial name isn’t important), lived in a magical place known as the Garden of Eden that acted as a halfway house between mortal existence and the Celestial Plane, where Adam and Eve experienced no suffering. As expected with a perfect existence, a woman had to ruin it for everyone else. Eve was tempted by Lucifer’s rizz and ate from the forbidden Tree of Knowledge, thus giving Adam and Eve true agency and the ability to die, but also the ability to pass to the Celestial Plane and reproduce. Thus, began true human existence.
=== The Bloat ===
Lucifer is responsible for the creation of The Bloat. As Bloats ultimately form through humanities fattest desires, the Celestials have little power in stopping it themselves. As such, it’s Lucifer’s ultimate weapon to displace the Celestials as the rulers of the mortal realm to allow him and his demonic followers to rule over mortal realm as they see fat. 
== Powers and Abilities ==
Celestials of all kinds are supremely powerful beings, but fall into two camps; Minor Celestials and Major Celestials.
Major Celestials are the most powerful Celestials. These beings typically rule over entire planets, hold immense power in both the Celestial and Mortal Planes, can create and destroy life, weaken or banish other Celestials, and the most powerful among them can even create universes. Major Celestials can also grant Major status and abilities to Minor Celestials. Examples of Major Celestials include The Godhead and Lucifer.
Minor Celestials maintain Godlike powers compared to mortals, but are completely mogged by Major Celestials. The vast majority of Celestials are Minor in nature and live in the presence of Major celestials who lead them. Most Minor Celestials want to elevate themselves to Major status and choose to live temporary, mortal lives in order to pass the faith and sin tests that Major Celestials lay out for them so that they be as gods. Minor Celestials who reside in the Outer Darkness and are banished from the Mortal Realm are called Demons. 
Here is a list of Celestial Powers:
·        World Building
·        Life Creation
·        Energy Control
·        Breaking the laws of physics in the Mortal Realm
·        Immortality
·        Reincarnation
·        Mind-Reading
·        Omnipotence
·        Omnipresence
·        Instant Transmission
·        Ultra-Instinct
Demons have learned abilities of their own in addition to the above, including:
·        Possession
·        Instant Killing
·        Creation of Daemons
·        Ultimate Deception
== Religion ==
Humanity has invented and spread various religions throughout its history, most of them completely false. The Godhead wanted humanity to have free agency and find Him through humanities own efforts and faith, but most of this resulted in the fabrication of false religions that spread lies and strengthened Lucifer, who assumed names such as Ba’al and found millions of followers over the millennia. 
Ultimately, the Godhead spoke directly to various chosen men of pure intent and clean Celestial soul-being who spread the Truth, although even that became muddled over time. Judaism, the first religion that touched on the truth of the Godhead was quickly corrupted and its children spread lies throughout the world. Jehovah himself arrived on Earth and demonstrated His love of humanity through His sacrifice on the cross, but even that failed to convert most humans to the Truth and Christianity soon became as corrupt and Judaism. Having enough of human stupidity and sensing Lucifer’s rising influence over the world, Jehovah laid out the TRUE and HONEST religious belief system to Joseph Smith starting in 1820, converting millions to the Truth that is Mormonism. 
== Prophets and Daemons ==
Celestials and Demons constantly try to influence humans on Earth to wage their heavenly conflicts in the mortal realms. The Godhead teaches humans the Truth through both direct intervention and indirect influence via The Holy Spirit. Humans who’ve had the truth revealed to them are called prophets, with Abraham and Joseph Smith being among the most notable.
Lucifer takes a more decentralized approach, encouraging his followers to directly influence humans on Earth, if not take over their bodies entirely. Demons who successfully influence or possess a human (replacing or corrupting a Celestial soul) are called Daemons. Unlike prophets, Daemons have obvious deformities or mental retardation. People with Down Syndrome (Mongols), Aspergers, Autism, ADHD, homosexuals, and basically anything else that isn’t “normal” are Daemons. The population of Daemons exploded just prior to The Bloatening in the 20th and 21st centuries. 
== Notable Celestials ==
·        The Godhead – The tri-polar personality of the God of Earth and ruler of the highest levels of the Celestial Plane, consisting of Elohim (God the Father), Jehovah (His first son), and the Holy Spirt. 
·        Lucifer – Elohim’s second son, ruler of the Outer Darkness (also known as Hell), and creator of The Bloat.
·        The W'rkncacnter – A group of eldritch Celestials who fought a war with the mortal Jjaro, one of which was knocked into Earth and slept for millennia. 
== Notable Prophets ==
·        Joseph Smith – The ultimate prophet to whom Jehovah revealed the TRUE and HONEST belief system.
·        Mitt Romney – A minor prophet who was assigned by Jehovah to convert the Godless French. 
== Notable Daemons ==
·        Brock “Allen” Turner – A convicted rapist afflicted with affluenza who is known to Reddit as the worst person to have ever existed. 
·        Trace Schwartz – I will say no more.
·        Caitlin Douglas – The progenitor of The Bloatening in the West during the early 21st century.