Patrick Fails (episode)

This is a transcript of the Patrick Fails episode "Patrick Fails" from Season 41.
== Transcripts ==
*[Fade in]
*Patrick: I am so smart, because I have a lab coat! I am gonna pour water into everything I see!
*[Patrick mixes every juice in the laboratory he's in with water]
*Patrick: Oh no, the juice is rumbling, I should drink it!
*[Patrick turns into a poisonous lantern fly, and all of the juices explode]
*Patrick: WHAT?!?! NOOOO!!!
*[Patrick is set on fire]
*Patrick: AHHHHH!!!! WHY ME!!!!!
*[A Bottomite comes over and rips Patrick's legs off]
*Patrick: AAGGGHHH!!!
*[Squilliam comes over and beats up Patrick]
*Squilliam: Your movie SUCKED, and you didn't even PAY ME!!!
*Patrick: OW! OW! OWWWW!!
*[Bubble Bass comes over]
*Bubble Bass: Ooh, a strawberry candy. Me likey!
*[Bubble Bass picks up Patrick and eats him]
*Patrick: OH MY LORD!!! AGHHHH!!!
*[Patrick is crapped out from a toilet]
*Patrick: Sweet LORD I AM A PIECE OF CRAP WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!
*[A German Scientist takes Patrick out, and cuts his body open]
*German Scientist: Oh ja, vehry interhezting. You chan thell I am Gerhman becauze I zay Yeah as Ja, everhy whord I zay has a hard H in it, and I pronounze C and S's as Z.
*Patrick: I can't even SCREAM ANYMORE!!!
*[Patrick has a stroke, rats combust out of his stomach, and the German Scientist rip Patrick's eyes out]
*Patrick: abhbHBHABhba
*German Scientist: Yhuck, zis lahntern fly iz no good anymore. Into ze shink!
*[The German Scientist throws Patrick and a piece of small wood into the sink, and Patrick drowns, with a stake going through his heart and voicebox. Patrick then poisons himself inadvertently with his own poison.]
*Patrick: WAAAAAAAAA!!!!
*[Patrick spontaneously combusts, with all of the blood from him covering the entire Earth, making it fall out of orbit and crash into Saturn, making a Big Bang. The episode fades out to the next segment.]
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