Friday Night

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Charricthran Facing Triggers First Session Lewis
Friday Night
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Jekyll1886
Jekyll1886 
@jekyll1886 2 years ago
((This roleplay is set after the Moriarty arc and Halloween; it takes place on a Friday night in early November.))
Lewis had made certain there was no one else in his flat for the rest of the night.
The gaslights were low enough to be cozy and welcoming but still bright enough to see by.
On the stove was a kettle, on the counter a set for tea.
Lewis wished he had something more to offer, but buying the Tontine hadn’t been cheap. As it was, he’d been taking his meals at the Society every chance he’d gotten.
Still, all the people he cared about were safe; that was what mattered.
And he still had his flat, even if he’d had to steal a few things to pay the rent.
The kettle boiled, and he set the tea to steep.
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Tairais • 2 years ago
Every possible string had been tied and knotted, every loose end neatly trimmed and thrown into the flames. He’d organized, polished, and reorganized everything in the shop- which had proven to be far more popular than either he or Richard had anticipated- until they glittered like eyes in the night.
With so much to do, he rather expected his nerves to calm down, at least a bit.
He wished he’d be surprised when they’d promptly and stubbornly refused, the bastards.
He ripped off the metaphorical bandage and set off down the Shifting Paths in search of Lewis’s shadow, something brighter and more solid than its peers. Familiar, comforting in a sharp sort of way.
Charricthran slipped out of something nearby, unfamiliar with the surroundings flickering in and out of view like so many sputtering candle flames.
A quick blink for his eyes to adjust to his (now solid) surroundings, and he realized he was bisected by the table whose shadow he’d used as a door.
“Ah, bugger it all.” He said with a snicker.
Close enough. Least I didn’t remember to be solid that time, would’ve bloody hurt.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Oh!” exclaimed Lewis.
“Glad I haven’t set the tea things on the table yet!” he said with a laugh.
“It shouldn’t be long before it’s steeped,” he added.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago • edited
“Yeah, you’n me both, kid. Granted, think I woulda passed through it, but it would’ve made the tea all... Well. Not drinkable, ‘s for certain!”
He pulled himself out of the table and into the chair, smiles and humor chasing away anxiety for the time being.
It’d be fine. If it wasn’t, they’d make it fine. A mantra repeated in the taught silence of his thoughts. An anchoring point, of sorts.
He distracted himself with wondering if today’d be a day he could actually drink the tea.
Jury’s still out on that one. Flip a coin, why don’tcha?
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis chuckled.
“Can’t have that, can we?”
He checked his pocket-watch, then went over and poured the tea for them.
“Here we are,” he said, setting a cup in front of Charricthran before settling down with his own.
The tea was a Chinese green which, unlike some black teas, needed no sugar nor milk. It had a savory, herbal aroma.
“I don’t know if it’s drinkable for you, but...on the off chance,” he offered.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran picked up the cup easily enough; it was only after he took a sip that things started to… wobble, slightly. Lines went half-solid for a moment, liquid threatening to break boundaries into something decidedly unpleasant before they shored themselves up again.
Cheerful sign, that. The tea was quite good, though. Worth it, for all the grief he knew it was going to give him later.
He fixed Lewis with a slight smile, eyes crinkling in mischievous satisfaction.
“‘S drinkable, an’ decidedly free o’... feathery shadow-bits. Rather good, even!”
He felt a brief flicker of not-quite-amusement at the fact he and Lewis’d shared near the same thoughts at the same time, then mentally shrugged it off.
No sense in sabotaging stability prematurely.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“I’m glad,” said Lewis. “But...are you alright there?” he asked, concern creasing his features.
He sipped his own tea as if to check nothing was wrong with it.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
He hesitated, that concern piercing him like a knife.
He’d promised honesty. He wouldn’t go back on his word, even if it meant his voice was on the wrong side of bright.
“Gonna have a headache later, but ‘s good for not focusing on..” He trailed off with a vaguely waving hand gesture.
“Don’ wanna sink inta everythin’ jus’ yet.” The admission comes quietly, a carefully placed afterthought. “Granted, avoidin’ it’s jus’ gonna make it worse, butcha know.”
A shrug, his usual wry smirk, and the air of indifference he wore like armor.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis nodded.
“As you will, then.”
A smile.
“I acquired this particular blend before settling in at the Society,” he remarked. “China green tips mixed with just a hint of oolong to give it depth.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
“See, Richard’s the one who knows ‘bout tea. I jus’ know what tastes good ta me.” He frowned at the cup as if might find the aforementioned ‘depth’ somewhere in the softly dancing liquid.
He took another sip, pleased when everything remained stable that time. It didn’t diminish the fact that his concentration was quietly approaching tatters as it twisted itself into knots, but that was a distant concern, tucked under the warmth the tea provided.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“I’ll drink to that,” said Lewis, taking another sip.
“The oolong is what gives it that infinitesimally faint trace of a smoky flavor.”
Again, a mote of concern as he felt the vibrations emanating from Charricthran.
Yet it was the latter’s decision, so Weir kept silent on the matter.
Free will and all, he reasoned. He respected that.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran hummed softly and spent the next little while just savoring the tea for what it was.
It was gone rather faster than he would’ve liked, but he knew better than to ask for or try to drink another cup. With a final sip, he set the cup on the table. His hands rather felt like shaking, though he managed to keep it from surfacing.
A heavy sigh, the smile still in place. His mind wandered off on a tangent about why he didn’t wander near mirrors (too easy to notice the falseness of most of those expressions), even as he cleared his throat to speak again.
“Right. What now?”
Whatnowwhatnowwhatnow.
Echos of finalty- did he really have to be so melodramatic? Whatever the answer was, those two words scratched in his ears.
It’d be fine. If it wasn’t, they’d make it fine.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis had finished his tea as well, plus another cup. It might turn out to be long night; he’d need his energy.
“Now...we talk, for starters. Tell me which things bother you or are impinging on your leading a fuller life, and we’ll seek to address them. Start with whatever subject you like. We’ll do things gradually.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran chuckled something bitter, dragging a hand down his face.
“‘S a tall order, considerin’ I cannae remember half o’ em ‘til I’m halfway clawing myself out o’ one o’ em.”
Tall order and a long list. He didn’t know where to start.
The longer he thought, the more he could make out the scrape of chain against stone, the more he could feel phantom fingers around his throat, at his wrists and chest.
He snarled at the memory and let it dissipate under razor-sharp focus. He would not be dissuaded.
“Right. Firstly, sounds send me skitterin’ at the drop o’ a hat. Sudden loud noises that ain’t thunderstorms, the sounds o’ steel and the like hittin’ stone, a blade bein’ sharpened. Things that’re fine when I’m expectin’ em, so not so much when I’m workin’, but... other times."
He shrugged halfheartedly. "Dunno how many times I’ve.. how’d’ya say. Gone blurry? At the edges, jus’ ta get spooked by the sound o’ Richard at the forge an’ nearly set sommat on fire.”
Something tamer to start with.
Instinct had him scratching the back of his hands without his notice. Had he noticed, he would’ve recognized the poor attempt at grounding for what it was, and likely stopped.
(He wouldn’t have, not really. What else was he gonna do?)
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis nodded in understanding.
“Very well,” he said. “That’s a fine place to begin.
“What we’ll seek to do,” he illumined, “is desensitize you to the sounds, so that they no longer ‘send you skittering’. You mentioned steel on stone. It happens I’ve a whetstone for the kitchen knives, so that presents a ready example we could use.
“Conversely, what makes you feel at ease?” he asked. “That will be equally important.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran went from scratching his hands to gently tapping on the table as he thought with a frown.
He was too far over the edge of nervousness, and most of what brought him comfort would now only bring him further misery.
Several moments passed, suspended on gentle tap-tap-tap’s.
A pause, and then softly, for fear of judgement and mockery.
“D’ya have a heavy sorta quilt lying ‘round?”
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Indeed,” answered Lewis. “Medium-weight, like a blanket, or heavier-weight, like a comforter?”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
“Heavy ‘s you can make it, ta.” Charricthran already wanted to draw his limbs close and hide at the prospect of needing the accursed thing.
It’d be fine. If it wasn’t, they’d make it fine.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“I’ll return shortly.”
Lewis went up the stairs and to the chest of drawers in his room.
He came back with his winter comforter and an extra blanket.
“Here we are,” he said, handing them to Charricthran.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran draped the blankets over his legs, then crossed his arms over his chest.
He’d drape the blankets over himself when he absolutely needed to, not a moment before. Call it pride or stubbornness, either way, he just... couldn’t. Not yet.
Once he was settled, he took a long, slow breath, then exhaled just as carefully.
That done, he shot Lewis a wry smile.
“Right then, do your worst or... what have ya.”
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
A chuckle.
“I’ll do no such thing. We shall start off slowly.”
He got out the whetstone and the dullest knife he had.
“What I’m going to do is make some sounds with these. Nothing major at first. Should you find them disconcerting, simply do what you need to with those covers. If at any point you think you’ll grow too overwhelmed, past what comfort the covers offer, just tell me to stop, and I will.
“Alright?”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran had a fleeting, giddy thought somewhere along the lines of ‘stab me with the knife, rather’n kindness, Weirmrith’. He knew better than to voice it aloud, knew that it wouldn’t really help the tension curdling his stomach (or was that the tea? Who knew?).
Still, the thought made the corners of his lips twitch on the verge of laughter.
He nodded.
“As it’ll ever be.”
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Weir nodded.
“We’ll begin, then.”
He took the knife and ran it gently over the whetstone, the pressure infinitesimal.
A very soft, scraping sound resulted.
He kept tabs on Charricthran’s vibrations, though he didn’t look at him directly, keeping his eye on the knife instead.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
A flinch. A flicker of memory. Both as soft and both as short as the sound itself, though he did clench his jaw.
Charricthran said nothing, focusing his awareness and energy on trying to make the sound wash over him, rather than drag him under.
He managed to keep his eyes open, at least.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“I’m going to make the sound again,” Lewis informed him calmly.
Another soft scrape of metal on stone.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Dim corners and restricted movement- no.
He fixed his gaze on the table and deliberately relaxed the hunch in his shoulders and the clench in his jaw.
A steady breath in, a steady breath out.
His stomach hurt.
It would be fine. If it wasn’t, they’d make it fine.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Again, just let me know when it’s...enough.”
Another gentle scrape, perhaps half a second longer this time.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
A flinch, a pause, and then a jerky nod.
Footsteps carried on echos against the scraping stone, teeth, smiles glinting like thirsty knives-
He was fine. It was fine. It would be fine.
A not-so-steady breath this time, forcibly chuckled out.
It would be fine.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis went back to doing a scrape of shorter duration.
He absentmindedly began to hum, just as he would if he were doing any mundane task in the kitchen, but caught himself.
“Sorry,” he apologized with a mildly self-conscious chuckle.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran chuckled and tilted his head to the side in a half-nod.
“All’s well, Weirmrith. Titch helpful, even.”
And it was. The sound was something to grab onto, something that diluted memory in all its potency and laid it ever so slightly to rest.
He felt a twist of desperate gratitude, almost painful in its place within his ribcage.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Ah,” said Lewis. “That’s...excellent.”
A smile.
He went back to gently whetting knife against stone, the humming resuming after a moment or two. It was no particular tune, but it felt natural.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
He drew Lewis’s humming around him like a coat of chainmail on top of the weight of the blankets on his legs.
Distantly, he knew that he was afraid, and had been since the first strike of stone against steel. The blankets wouldn’t have rested on him properly if he’d been calm. Still, the tie to a world outside his thoughts, something more tangible and out of place than a single comforting sensation, was just enough to make memory tolerable.
Despite the cold press of stone against his back, despite the bite of metal into his wrists and neck, he found himself settling, if not quite relaxing against the sensation.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis went on serenely sharpening the knife while humming absentmindedly, pausing now and again to switch hands when one grew tired.
They continued in this way for some time.
Eventually, he stopped altogether, stretched, and checked his pocket-watch.
“Huh,” he remarked. “Did you know...it’s been four hours?”
A smile.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran blinked slowly, then chuckled somewhat nervously. He felt.. What?
‘Drained’ was probably a good word for it. ‘Wrung out’ another two. Yet despite that, an odd sort of content that sat like a lopsided sack of potatoes, heavy and awkward.
“Well... Do now!”
The need to focus gone, he felt his thoughts begin to wander softly.
He smothered them under the weight of the blankets as he wrapped them around his shoulders. He was shaking slightly. Couldn’t be helped, but it was definitely less horrible than it might’ve been otherwise.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Aye,” said Lewis with a faint smile.
“You, ah...you did quite well, I must say.
“Do let me know if there’s anything else I can get you--I think my hands have had enough of knife-sharpening for tonight.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago • edited
Hands at the throat, steel at the throat. Two kinds of grins, one red and gaping on his neck, the other kindly cruel because it’d gone too far this time and it was merciful to let him restart and everything was floating floating-
Falling.
His voice was somewhere distant, outside this room of cobblestone and steel and not-quite moonlight glinting like teeth.
If he did well, he’d get to leave. That was his promise.
“After four hours, ‘m not surprised.” Chuckling, then, tense around the edges.
“Ah... Could’ya start hummin’ again? ‘M slippin’.”
His heartbeat lurched and stuttered its way through the first stirrings of panic.
He was never so human as when he was afraid.
It’d be fine. They’d make it fine.
A cloud passed over the moon and slipped the room into darkness that begged and weeped and dragged at his eyes like insistent fish hooks.
There was nothing he could do- he was Bound, by Name and Blood and Song and gods, how could he have done this to himself?
It’d be fine. They’d make it fine.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis immediately did as Charricthran requested, forcing himself to be calm for the both of them. The task at hand, the tuneless humming--that was the entire world right now.
Only once Weir’d settled into the rhythm of it did he allow himself to reach out with his senses to ascertain his friend’s state.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
That humming was his blade as he struggled, formed from a metal spoon carelessly left behind and slowly sharpened over several agonizing years that passed by in the flickers of movement under his closed eyes (when had he closed them? He couldn’t remember, things were slipping slipping, falling- no, stop that this instant or so help me gods-).
That humming was the thrum of blood pooling in his hands, black and inky in the moonlight.
That humming was the sound of shattered pieces finally hitting the ground- falling, falling-
Free.
He noticed the burn of tears on his cheeks before he noticed the walls had gone away, leaving nothing but a sore throat (he’d snarled and snapped at some point but couldn’t remember, couldn’t.. What? Couldn’t, couldn’t just, just couldn’t.) and a form that had sharpened at the edges almost too much.
He drew the blankets around him tighter, and drew his knees against his chest while he was at it.
He felt… hollow. Breakable. Smaller, certainly.
He glanced up at Lewis with a self-deprecating smirk.
“Eheh. You were sayin’?”
He shook his head and lost the gesture just as quickly. It didn’t take a mirror to know that his expression could very easily be summed up in a single word.
‘Haunted’.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“I...wondered if there was anything I might do for you. To ease the experience.”
He aligned his energy with Charricthran’s and gingerly offered his hand, palm up, not knowing whether his friend would find the gesture a boon or bane.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
His expression softened as he hesitantly took Lewis’s hand.
Still afraid, just a wee bit. Made it easier to.
“You’re doin’ plenty fine, Weirmrith. Had jus’ thought ‘fore… that lil’ bit that it was much… gentler remembrin’ than before.”
He had to gently let go of Lewis’s hand after that. The brief contact had been... nice, but had started to skitter unpleasantly before long, like insects burrowing in his skin.
He huffed a quiet laugh and shook his head.
“Feel like I should be ‘pologizin’, odd enough. So, sorry, ‘spose.”
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“There’s no need,” Lewis assured him as he let his own energy settle back to normal. “Sometimes memories just...pop up where they will, unexpectedly. I’m glad the majority of the evening went well.”
A thoughtful pause.
“If it’s alright to ask...what was it that prompted that bit of a rough go you just had?” He didn’t wish to trigger Charricthran unintentionally.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago • edited
He flexed his fingers on the hand that had just been holding Lewis’s with a helpless sort of smile.
“Cha'sidic.Ya mentioned hands. That’s the other half o’ that memory. Wasn’t quite as far removed from it as I’d thought.”
They fluttered like nervous butterflies, those hands at his throat, half-chased by memories.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Oh, bugger me,” said Lewis at himself.
“If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have just...stuck one out at you like that. Apologies.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
“All’s well. Gotta get used ta it anyways- can’t do ta have an off day an’ shut down if someone makes ta try an’ strangle me, yeah?”
He chuckled slightly.
“Come ta think of it, dunno how that hasn’t happened already. Heh.”
He wished now, more than ever, that he could actually sleep.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Oh,” said Lewis. A microexpression flashed across his face, somewhere between sympathy and guilt. It was gone just as quickly.
“Should I...ask about it, or would you like to forget such things for now?”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
“Let’s jus’ leave it at ‘one more thing I used ta enjoy tainted by That Bastard In Particular’ for now.”
He scratched at his throat, once, twice, three times, as if he might replace the phantom sickliness curling around it like ropes.
A noose! The thought made him chuckle and frown in equal measure.
Not the sort of thing to joke about, that, even if it was to himself.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Damn.” That’s a shame.
“May I offer you some cannabis--sativa or indica, as you please? I find it helpful in...what’s the word? Aftercare, as it were.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
“Sure, yeah. Don’ be alarmed if I literally start meltin’ or somethin’ though. Runes’ll make sure I don’ do anythin’ past repair.”
He retreated further into the blankets, drawing upon the memory of being wrapped in something similar as a child to simulate the feeling of warmth-security-comfort it had brought. It was a pale imitation of the real thing, but it was a first step towards helping, certainly.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“I’ll be right back.”
Lewis returned with indica, wagering it would calm Charricthran better than the sativa.
“Here we are,” said Weir, offering him an odd-looking, bulbous pipe that had already been lighted. “This ought to ease your nerves.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran took a moment to center himself in solidity long enough to take a deep drag from the pipe.
As with the wine and brandy they’d shared at the shop, the effect hit him with speed and potency alike.
He didn’t let go of the blankets, but he felt himself start to float safely within the confines of them.
It was easy to go quiet after that.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“Better?” asked Lewis.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
“Much, ta.”
Soft and quiet. Darker, too. He wagered he looked a bit like a snail at the moment, most everything but his eyes and the top of his head hidden by the blankets.
Time slipped past, floating like dust and dandelion seeds.
“Thanks, Weirmrith.”
Soft and quiet. Darker, too. Gentle at the edges and floating, moored by a bright anchor.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“You’re most welcome, Nald’su Welun.”
Lewis took the liberty of taking a puff himself.
A relaxed sigh followed.
By the wee hours of the morning, the drug’s effects had faded.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran sat stone still, hesitant to move lest he disturb the fragile peace brought upon him.
It was the sort of peace that, in times past, had been carried on the gentle wings of piano music echoing through a forest.
As far as rewriting painful memories went, wrapping the present in the songs of that long-gone moment was as easy as slipping underwater.
A faint smile flickered over his face as the rest of him danced like quiet candlelight.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis stirred.
Stretched.
Rose.
Stretched more.
Yawned.
Checked his pocket-watch.
“Oh, my,” he remarked. “It’s getting late--or early, as you like it.
“I really ought to get on to bed--that is, if you feel you’ll be alright.”
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Charricthran blinked and slipped out of memory’s embrace with nothing more than the whisper of thought.
He blinked again with surprise at the time slipping by like sand.
After a moment or three where if felt as if he could do no more than that, the cogs and springs of his thoughts whirred back into their dizzying motion.
He pulled a soft smile on his face to match the rest of his soft edges.
“I’ll be jus’ fine, Weirmrith.”
He unfolded himself from the chair and folded the blankets over his arm, stretching his back slightly. He tried not to let the faint, odd sense of vulnerability he felt at their loss show too much, knowing full well it would pass in time.
He held out the blankets in wordless offering, gratitude hovering in the corners of his lips.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
“In that case…” returned Lewis, taking the blankets, “I’m off to bed. Stay as long as you need.”
With that, he headed for the stairs, but paused at the foot of them to look over his shoulder at Charricthran..
“Goodnight, Nald’su Welun,” Weir said with a soft smile.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
"Mel’thurkear, Weirmrith Viofdioenel."
The words floated with the gentle voice of twilight and the smile of a crescent moon.
Charricthran sat back down in the chair, not quite trusting himself to leave safely. He waved a hand to usher Lewis onward.
“I’m gonna jus’... solidify proper ‘fore I dash off again.”
He trailed off into quiet contemplation, poking and prodding at thought.
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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 2 years ago
Lewis nodded his understanding.
He ascended the stairs with steady steps and vanished into his room.
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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 2 years ago
Minutes passed like hours if hours passed like seconds. That was to say, Charricthran stayed in the chair for a length of time he couldn’t quite determine.
He stitched himself back into relevancy, into something that existed in relation to everything else. He sharpened soft edges and smoothed jagged ones, folded shadow upon darkness and lightning into the core.
All this passed in the flickering heartbeats of thought, shaking distantly like cloudy thunder.
Eventually, he got up and left, ducking under the table to slip out the same way he’d come in.
It was the second first step of the evening he’d had, and the thought put a grin on he face as walked ever onward.
For the first time in a great while, he had hope for himself, the kind that didn’t have to be buried under bravado so loud it made up his entire personality.
It was decidedly delightful.
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