I wish I could have more coffee

I would drink more coffee beyond the rough 600ml of my Chemex, except with the Ritaline and my general sensitivity to stimulants I’d be useless. I know this mode too, what most people, I gather, experience if they take Ritaline, or drink two cups of coffee too many. A bit of mania, what we call ‘overdrive’ in Lucia, energy both going everywhere and without the clear and clean connection to directed, purposeful action. The buildup of internal pressure — of charge — even as life’s vital energy is leaking in every conceivable direction. Another Chemex and the Ritaline together, too much more caffeine and I’d be completely sleepless, and getting over the hill of actually being out of bed would become again Sisyphean, as it has been for my entire life.