Crushin' It/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Crushin' It".
== ==
(Smidge is doing hard exercises with her friends. She is doing push-ups with her hair.)
Smidge: ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! Push it, body boot campers! Push it! (Poppy, Branch, Guy Diamond, Cooper, Biggie, Satin and Chenille are tired from doing all the push-ups.) We’re almost done... with our warm-up! (She shouts out while her hair moves her up and down while her tired friends groan. They collapse on their mats.) Now, take it to the next level with... BATTLE BRAIDS! (She holds two parts of her hair and laughs madly. A tired Poppy tries to use her hair to whip Branch, but he catches it and she sighs.)
Branch: Smidge is so intense.
Poppy: (sighs) And this is a recovery day.
Smidge: Hey! Cut the gab and burn the flab, you two! (She takes Poppy's hair from Branch.) Talk to the strength of them giving your workout a smack down! (She shouts and gasps because she sees a Troll named Milton Moss whistling to a bird. Romantic piano music plays. Milton kisses the bird that is on his finger.) Whoa! (She watches more as Milton plays with the bird.)
Poppy: Smidge? Smidge? Smidge?!
Smidge: Wh... Wh... Where am I?
Poppy: Still here, Smidge. At boot camp.
Branch: Yeah, but you blanked out for like 15 minutes.
Smidge: Again? Belugh! It’s 'cause of that guy. He's always messing with me!
Poppy: Milton Moss? The critternarian? But he’s the gentlest Troll in the village. (Milton goes to his patients.)
Milton: Morning, my little patients. Who’s ready to heal? (The critters make sounds and he walks past them.)
(Milton)
What a magical day it is!
The sun in shining down
What a perfectly special delight it is to live in this friendly town
Smidge: I’m telling you, he messes with me. He makes my palms sweat. Then my heart skips a beat. Then the earth moves. Why I oughta…!
Branch: Uh, Smidge, that doesn’t happen ‘cause he’s missing with you.
Poppy: Yeah. It happens ‘cause you have a crush on him. (Her friends giggle.)
Smidge: Oh, that makes way more sense, and it explains my uncontrollable urge to hold his hand. (She holds out her hand and holds it back.) Soon my pet. Well, I guess there’s only one thing to do: Storm over there and tell Milton how I feel, in graphic detail! (She runs across the obstacle course.) I wanna feed animals with you, take care of sick… And talk about feelings. (She shouts madly as she goes through the last few obstacles.) Hold my hand. I wanna hold your hand! I love you! You’re so gentle and kind, I wanna rub your face and rub your cheeks… (She climbs the fence and tries to jump, but Poppy, Branch, and Guy Diamond catch her with their hair and pull her back.)
Poppy: Smidge, Smidge, easy! If you come on strong like that, you could scare a guy like Milton off.
Guy Diamond: Yeah. You can’t be so intense.
Smidge: (Jumping onto Guy Diamond) I’M NOT INTENSE! Wait. I heard it as I said it. Guess I am kind of intense. (She looks at Milton petting down the critters.) So does that mean he’s not gonna like me? (Tears appear in her eyes.)
Poppy: No. No, no, no. He’s gonna think you’re amazing. We just need to help you smooth out some rough edges. What do you say?
Smidge: Hm. I say, I’m gonna date the most gentle Troll in the world! (She screams loudly.) Wait. I… I did it again, didn’t I? (Later, she is practicing with the help of her friends. Branch is up first.)
Poppy: Now, pretend Branch is Milton. Show me how you’d introduce yourself. (Branch holds out his hand.)
Smidge: (Shaking Branch’s hand) Name’s Smidge, and I’ve already learnt everything about you. (She squeezes Branch and he groans and whimpers.) Everything. (She then lets go of Branch.) So I nailed it, right? (Guy Diamond is next to help her.)
Guy Diamond: Walking with books balanced on your head will tone down your intimidating stomp. (Smidge takes the book from him with her hair.)
Smidge: Right, but I can handle way more than that. (She grabs more books, a rock, some logs, and Cooper and they land on top of her head.) Power squats! (She does some squats. Later, Poppy is next to help her.)
Poppy: Let’s test your knowledge about animals because Milton loves critters. (She picks up two critters and cuddles them.)
Smidge: So do I. (She grabs one of the critters and eats it.) They’re delicious. (Poppy whimpers in fear.) Oh, where are my manners? (She spits out the critter.) Would you care for some critter, Poppy? (After that, She is having a picnic with Branch.)
Poppy: Engage him in light small talk.
Branch: Nice weather we’re having, hey?
Smidge: Are you kidding? I’m sweating like a Puffalo over here. (She holds out her hand.) See?
Branch: No, that’s OK.
Smidge: For real. Smell it!
Poppy: Smidge, Smidge, ease up!
Smidge: SMELL IT! (She wraps her hair around Branch’s mouth and they fall over. Soon, she and Guy Diamond are having a tea party with pastries.) Would you care for some tea?
Guy Diamond: Indeed. Thank you, Smidge. (He gives her his cup.)
Smidge: The pleasure is all mine. (She pours some tea into the cup and gives it back to Guy Diamond. He takes a sip.)
Guy Diamond: Oh, you’re doing so well, Smidge. Now one last touch: The pinkie. (Smidge looks at Poppy.)
Poppy: You got this, Smidge. (Smidge struggles to use her pinkie.)
Guy Diamond: You can do it, Smidge. (Smidge holds out her pinkie.)
Smidge: Ha ha!
Poppy: Yeah-ha!
Branch: Yoo-hoo. Yeah! Awesome! (Smidge drinks her tea and lets out a huge burp. This sends the tea party set and Guy Diamond flying.)
Smidge: Pardon me. (Guy Diamond groans. We can see that he landed on Cooper and Biggie.)
Poppy: Well, let’s call it a day. Everyone, meet back here tomorrow morning and we’ll help Smidge talk to Milton.
Smidge: What? No. Guys, I still need work.
Poppy: Don’t worry, Smidge. It’ll go great. All you needed was to ease up a bit.
Branch: Yeah. Besides, we sort of taught you everything we can. (He and Poppy leave.)
Smidge: That’s all they can teach me? Then I’ll just have to teach myself. (She goes to the library to find a book to help her.) The Troll Guide of Etiquette and Gentility. (She looks through the book and laughs. Later, Milton is telling a story to his patients with puppets.)
Milton: And with a hug from a little boy, the bully didn’t want to fight anymore. The end. (Branch, Guy Diamond and Poppy watch from the bushes.)
Guy Diamond: Is it just me, or do you kind of wish he was your dad?
Branch: (sobs) I really do.
Poppy: Argh. Guys, I’m worried about Smidge. She should have been here by now.
Smidge: Oh, don’t trouble yourself about little old Smidge. (We reveal that she is dressed in a fancy dress, carrying a parasol and has a fancy hairstyle.) She was so rough. Allow me to introduce the kinder and gentler, Smidgabelle. Charmed.
Branch: Uh, you look really weird.
Smidge: I believe you mean, I look really gentle, kind sir.
Guy Diamond: No, we mean weird.
Smidge: (Grabbing onto Guy Diamond) Why, you…! (She calms down and covers her face with a fan.) That is to say, oh you…! Now, if you’ll pardon me, I plan to make my intentions known to a certain young gentle-Troll.
Poppy: Wait, Smidge. (She runs over to Smidge.) Smidgabelle, we should talk about this.
Smidge: No time, darling. Hand-holding awaits.
Poppy: But, Smidge. No, don’t! (She covers her eyes.) No, I can’t watch this.
Branch and Guy Diamond: (Running past Poppy) We can! (The friends watch from the bushes.)
Smidge: Oh heavens to Betsy. It appears I’ve dropped my handkerchief. Whatever will I do? (She takes out her fan.)
Milton: Don’t worry, miss. I’ll get it for you. (He picks up her handkerchief.) See? Everything is OK.
Smidge: Are you sure? I don’t bend any of those dear blades of grass, did I?
Milton: Not a one, um…
Smidge: Smidgabelle. Well, look at us, two gentle souls acting so gently, in our… gentleness-atude. (She and Milton laugh.)
Poppy: (Still covering her eyes) Please, just tell me when it’s over.
Branch: Actually, believe it or not, it seems to be working.
Poppy: What? (Smidge and Milton are still laughing. Smidge soon throws her handkerchief again.)
Smidge: Ooh. Oh my. (She chuckles quietly and backs up.) Guys, he asked me to go on a stroll with him. I’m so amped up! (She does some exercise while yelling.) Stroll! (She calms down.) I mean, my heart is warmed by the tidings.
Poppy: That’s great, Smidge, but we’re worried that maybe you’ve taken things a little too far.
Branch: Yeah, we just wanted you to soften your approach, not be a different person.
Smidge: (laughs) Oh, you simple Trolls. Can’t you see he likes the way I am now? Smidge is never coming back. Now wish me luck, sugars. (Later, she and Milton are on a walk.)
(Milton)
A shooting star
(Smidge)
A burning sun
(Both)
And we sing from our hearts,
Out two voices like one
(Milton)
And I still can’t describe
All these feelings I’m feeling inside
Milton: I must say, Smidgabelle, there isn’t a soul in all of Troll Village as gentle as you.
Smidge: Oh!
Milton: Would it be too bold to offer you my hand?
Smidge: Oh my Guh. (Just as she and Milton are about to hold hands, two Tarantacapuffs.)
Milton: Goodness, Tarantacapuffacus. They’re very protective of their habitat. Poor little things.
Smidge: Little? (One of the spiders nearly bites her.) Argh!
Milton: (Catching Smidge) Smidgabelle, are you hurt?
Smidge: I’m not hurt, but I am going to bring the pain! (She screams as she charges at the large spider and punches it.) Ya! (She grabs it by the hair and hits it against the ground. The other spider gets ready to attack. Smidge holds some string and ties both of the spiders together.)
Milton: Smidgable!
Smidge: Yeah, yeah!
Milton: Such rough behavior! (Smidge becomes embarrassed.) And here I thought you were so gentle. (He begins to cry and runs away.)
Smidge: Milton! (Tears appear in her eyes and she finds herself back in Milton’s arms. It is revealed that she was only thinking about attacking the spiders.)
Milton: Smidgabelle? Smidgabelle? Smidgable? Are you hurt? (The spiders roar.)
Smidge: Oh, do something, Milton. I’m so dainty and frail.
Milton: Don’t be afraid. I know just what to do. (He goes to the Tarantacapuffs.) Hug? (The spider attacks him by grabbing him and hitting him against the ground.)
Smidge: Oh, my! Perhaps you should be a tad more aggressive.
Milton: Not necessary. This species goes to sleep at sundown. So I just have to wait them out for 12 more hours. Now run to safety.
Smidge: But-
Milton: Go on! (Smidge runs away.)
Smidge: Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh! Oh, my Guh…! (She stops running.) No can do, mister. SMIDGE!!! (She grabs one of the spiders with her hair and attacks it. She sees Milton about to be eaten by the other spider and she attacks it. Milton goes flying out of its mouth and lands in Smidge’s arms.) Don’t move. (The spiders get ready to attack again. Smidge tears off her sleeves and attacks them by sending them flying with her hair. She uses the bottom of her dress as a parachute. The Tarantacapuffs whimper and crawl away.)
Poppy: Whoa! (She and Branch run up to Smidge and Milton.) That was amazing! Smidgabelle.
Smidge: No, not Smidgabelle. Look, Milton, I realize you’d never want to be with a Troll like me, and that’s OK. Cause Smidge is going to be Smidge. Put her here. (Milton holds out his hand and she gives him a fist bump.)
Milton: (In slow-motion) Whoa! (He falls over.)
Smidge: Nice knowing ya. (She, Branch and Poppy walk away. Then the bird lands on Milton’s finger.)
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