2014.02.11 - Totally Shift Faced

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Moontree Manor
Moontree Manor is a modest-sized, imposing manor built in Gothic style, complete with foreboding paint job. The roof and spire on the right are done in a dark blue paint that offsets the white. It's like someone went a little wild with the colors. A wrought iron fence surrounds the property, and the lawn grows wild, with various herbs and flowers taking over. Ivy and vines crawl up the walls, hopeful for sun. The building seems to be in good repair despite this.
Inside, the atrium and living room are luxurious. Greeting guests is a large statue of Anubis, his hand outstretched and acting as an incense burner. The atrium is painted black, with flecks, indicating stars. It's a very afterlife-esque journey inside. The floors are a beautiful, black marble that lead one inward. There's stairs to so many rooms, it feels almost intimidating.
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It's a silent morning. Thin rays of winter sunlight pass through an old house, casting shadows of contrasting orange and deep brown against the various trinkets and accoutrements that pepper the Winter Moontree estate.
A calming silence wore on through the night, disturbed only by the occasional sound of a passing automobile beyond the estate's wrought iron gates.
Such peace and quiet is suddenly broken when a heavy, wooden cellar door bursts open. A lanky figure springs forth, sprawling out on all floors while his eyes look about listlessly.
"Rain. RRRAAIN!" Kwabena lifts his head. He's clearly under the influence of... of something. His eyes are glowing a bright purple, and every booze-laden breath that comes from his mouth and nose is riddled with magical colors across the visual human spectrum (and beyond, for those who can see such things).
"Wwwwinter Rain M... Moontree!" he calls into the empty hallway beyond, while crawling hand and foot in a pathetic way. "I swearrr do GOD, I'mmm nebah gettin' in't'yerrrr stash -- stash, again! AGAIN!"
The African has clearly been into Rain's supply of magic booze. He manages to climb to his feet, grasping hold of the railing to a stairway nearby. Just when he thinks he's settled himself, his lips curl in, his cheeks puff out, and a horrendous, impossibly loud belch rattles the estate to its very foundation, while a rainbow spews forth from between his lips.
Slamming his mouth shut, the heavily and magically intoxicated Kwabena stares at the rainbow as it spins about in the air, his wide eyes blinking owlishly. A moment later...
"R... RAIN!!"
Rain was sitting in the living room, working some stupidly complicated math problem and working on her toaster. The TV is on, explaining some new physics theory. When suddenly, KWABENA! Captain, the orange tabby in the trench coat hisses and Rain - her name is being called. Oh dear. That's Kwabena's voice! Rain stands, eyes widening.
"... you just got into it and started drinking things?" She puts her hands on her hips. Oh boy. Rain is at least somewhat compassionate about it. "Uh. Which one did you drink? Do you remember?" She moves to go get poor Shift and steer him towards the couch. Nemi, the tiny nemicolraptoruseses dinosaur (think tiny, cute pterodactyl cousin) cheeps oh-so-bravely. "Easy guys."
Elsa had been meaning to visit Rain's manor for some time. Inwardly she's always wondered about the witches combat readiness in their weird little group, although she has acquitted herself many times over in adventures past. An ulterior motive is actually seeing the inside of the weird manor in Gotham she calls home, having heard some of the stories from other members of the 'team'.
Elsa's gloved knuckles are centimetres from knocking on the sturdy oaken door, when the sound of shouting and something that sounded like an inebriated N'garai daemon yelling expletives reaches her ears. "Ah. Rain, dear? Is everything all right in there?" Then something that sounds like a muffled explosion rocks her on her booted heels and a look of concern crosses her face. "Right. Sod this." Elsa puts all her force behind a hefty kick that takes one side of the sturdy wooden door clear off its hinges and flying down the hallway, before charging in, shotgun raised to one shoulder. "Freeze you bl..." It's then of course, that the bizarre menagerie of creatures within present a wide range of targets, not to mention the sight of a rainbow spewing Shift. The Englishwoman raises the gun to the skies, wincing apologetically. "Er. Good morning everyone. Sorry about the door, it sounded like some sort of dreadful demonic apocalypse in here and...old habits, you know?" She eyes the stricken Ghanaian, one eyebrow arching.
As soon as Rain makes herself known, the rainbow having been belched up by Kwabena disappears. He looks her way, but before he can say anything else, there's a little aftershock, this one sounding like a far more normal burp, and only a few contrails of rainbow magic escape from his mouth.
"Did I... did I what?" He turns to Rain, stumbles for a second before catching himself, then gingerly reaches into his jacket to produce a bottle. Upon it? Runes. Kwabena can't read runes, all he saw was 'scotch'. Or at least some curvy letters that resembled the word. "Yeahmmm I jus' drank what I found." He holds up the bottle. "I'mmm almos' done with--"
When Elsa Bloodstone kicks the door down, the bottle drops to the floor. When it busts open, the liquid rises and turns into a gigantic, skeletal figure, which turns upon Kwabena at once.
"YOU. WILL. DIE. IN. SIX HUNDRED SIXTY SIX DAYS. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
With every laugh, more rainbows come shooting out of Kwabena's nose, each one turned into black ash that falls on the floor when they come into contact with the skeleton.
Odame's eyes find that shotgun, and he stumbles about, slamming into a wall in his attempts to avoid the skeleton. "Gaah!!! Bloodstone! Shoot it, not- not- not me!!"
Why not? Rain doesn't seem to be a flash combatant and it's hard to tell what she does around HOT KNIVES and PRINCESS POWER and PARTICLE MA-- eeeh, Kwabena! among other things. She yelps as her door gets kicked in, and Captain hisses, now his fur and poof are turned up to 11. The cat is now more spherical than catshaped. Nemi cheeps more. FIERCE CHEEPING. And now the door is damaged. "Yeah, I think we're okay," She pauses.
Then suddenly, Kwabena gets all exorcism on them and Rain jerks, startled. "Oh goddamnit, Phil. What did I tell you about haunting the booze? We had an agreement. You only get to torture the insurance and door to door salesmen," Rain sighs heavily. She frowns at the skeleton, as if this were all completely usual. And how often does Rain curse? "I don't like promise breakers. So please, go home and let this man be. I'm sure he's learned his lesson and isn't wishing for an xbox in exchange for his mortal soul." Shoo, shoo gesture. "I have to fix my door, get this poor guy some water and a hamburger... I really - don't have time for shenanigans." She's awkward and shy, so it's a lot less forceful than it could be. "And tell that damned angel to stop stealing my tableclothes!" Things get kinda weird here.
Elsa's expression doesn't waver from her initial look of disdain, even as Kwabena drops the bottle in his hands and inadvertently summons...something. "Good lord man, this is the last place you want to go drinking out of bottles you can't readily identify. Er...no offence, Rain," the monster hunter shoots this last comment over her shoulder at the witch.
Elsa sighs theatrically at Shifts plea. "Are you sure? I'm wondering if this entire situation couldn't be remedied by me taking one of your bloody kneecaps off." She takes a breath. "Oh, fine. I'm charging by the hour though." She eyes the apparition for a moment, before starting to rummage through her assorted utility pouches for something that could disperse the phantasm. "Hm, rocksalt perhaps, maybe holy water..." Until Rain calls it by name and treats it like a churlish infant. "Yes Phil, be a good spectre and sod off before I deal with you permanently," she adds
Elsa twirls her shotgun round one finger before holstering it on the harness on her back. She turns and holds up both of her hands towards Rain. "Look, I'm terribly sorry about the door. If you can deal with captain rainbow over there I'll make a start on it. I'm surprisingly good at carpentry," Elsa imparts, remembering a pair of Asgardians taking her shop doors off a few months back. She glares at Kwabena. "As for you, don't touch *anything* else or an overly theatrical ghost will be the least of your worries."
This would actually be the first time Kwabena has ever heard Rain curse. And he may be too intoxicated to remember it later! For shame.
The vicious skeleton, under Rain's less-than-aggressive rebuke, turns and.. and... are those puppy dog eyes?
Elsa's threat to cap his knee draws a frown, and a wavering finger. "You try it," he demands. "You try it, Blurdstorne!" Some more incoherent mumbling takes place, before he falls right on his arse and belches again.
More rainbows, and a slight tremor in the floorboards.
Meanwhile, Phil the Spectral Skeleton seems absolutely dismayed, like a boy scorned. His eyeholes even lilt to the side at Rain and Elsa's double teaming, and then he looks back toward Kwabena. Suddenly, his face is harrowingly terrible, and he hisses at Kwabena before once again disappearing into the spilt amber liquid.
Kwabena tries to get up, but instead, he just falls down again. Eyes peer up at the ceiling, a bit of purple color drifting out of them and dissipating into the air, and he just starts to laugh. Hallucinating, it would seem.
"Mmmonnntree," he coos, "I'm drinkin't yah place f'mm NOW ON!"
Poor guy's gonna need some help sobering up from whatever mess is going on inside there.
Sigh. "Sorry, Phil. But we had a contract and you know the rules. You can scare some political paperteers later, okay?" She waves to the poor skeleton. "Seriously," Rain sighs and puts her hand on her hips. "I feel a little bad, but someone has to lay down the rules." A deep frown on Rain's face. She looks to Elsa and nods. "Yeah, I still haven't translated all of them. Pete got all of the old Tamdhu, for starters," She remarks. Then a quirked smile at the no offense. "It's okay. A lot of the runes - are in languages that don't even exist in this day. My aunt was centuries old. Seriously. Please be careful."
As for the door... Rain looks to it. "It's okay. Just slightly off the hinges. It's pretty old anyway," She smiles faintly. "Don't worry about Phil. He has a problem with boundaries. I'm hoping we can work it out before someone gets hurt or before some evil sorcerer gets ideas." Frown again. And poor Kwabena.
She offers the poor man an arm and a hand up. "Okay, c'mon. Let's sit on the couch," First, get him sitting somewhere safe. "And you're welcome to drink here, but knock and ask first so I can show you what you're drinking. May I get you any tea or anything?" This is offered to both. Nemi is now fluttering, landing near Elsa. Curious! Cheep! Captain is still poofed out.
Elsa's eyes roll skyward as Kwabena eggs her on. "Oh good lord. And I thought Wisdom was a miserable drunk." The floorboards rumble again. "Please try and keep your bodily emissions in check Shift, you're lowering the resale value of this place by the minute. Also it's disgusting."
Elsa looks at Rain curiously as she mentions ancient languages. "I might be able to help you there. My father is...was...several millennia old. He might have a journal entry or a book that might come in handy. Failing that just bar Shift from the cellar. For eternity." Elsa eyes the door ruefully. "Well, me kicking in certainly didn't help any, but I thought something terrible had happened. As it was, I wasn't far wrong."
The monster hunter adds her efforts to Rain's attempt to get Shift to a vertical base and get him as far away from any magical concoctions as possible. "I swear if you chuck up on me I will drop kick you into the river from where we are standing," she hisses under her breath at the Ghanaian, before turning her attention to Rain. "Tea would be lovely dear, but I think mister Odame needs something a little more...restorative, if you catch my drift. I could pour holy water and wolfsbane down his throat but I don't think that would make *him* feel any better." Elsa eyes the creature as it lands nearby. "Who is a lovely Nemicolopterus then?" she says, rather unconvincingly. Yes, Elsa is actually fairly well educated, unless the subject matter happens to be Dragons.
To be fair, it's been years since Kwabena has ever had to 'watch what he's drinking'. Vodka. Bourbon. Gin. Rum. Tequila. Moonshine. Beer. Ale. Wine. Brandy. Lager. Sour Batch. The list goes on, and it's never included (insert list of RUNES here that we can't accurately represent with ASCII). To Odame, Runes = Russian, or Japanese, or perhaps Arabic.
Regardless, he gratefully accepts Rain's help over to the couch, plopping down with a soft oof. His eyes leave little trails of purple as he goes, and they're still looking about as if he's seeing the manor, it's occupants, and a whole other dimension all at the same time.
"Watah," he agrees. "Or tea. Or... no, coffee. Bring me coffee, Rain." Beat. "Rain!" he suddenly pleads, reaching for her arm. "Don' tell Rrrrashhahh. Rrrashaaa." Rachel? Rashah? Zsa Zsa Gabor? "She'll read it from'm'mind, anyway."
Now, it's Elsa's turn to see the rapid fire mood swings that come with magical booze intoxication. He all but glares at her, but there's no shortage of mischief in his eyes. "Try anything'nn I'll go liquid phase on you." He sits up right, cheeks puffing for a moment, but he holds it down. One does not want to know if he'd vom rainbows or... something else.
Finally, he exhales a deep breath. This time, there are no rainbows. Which probably means he's metabolizing it.
Don't think too hard about that one.
Rain just quirks a smile. "I guess good thing I plan on staying here... but um, please. If you're gonna be sick, I'll portal you to the bathroom or put a bucket here." She tries to hide her wince. She really does. She glances to Elsa. "Yeah? Well, you're welcome to take a look and poke around. I don't drink much myself, so I keep it for guests," Rain admits. "I've left notes on what I've translated, but honestly - this whole unworthy of the family thing has left me behind." Sadface. Then a headshake. "It's okay. I know you meant well."
Rain seems to understand that. Elsa's all about the kicking and shooting! It's a tough business, monster hunting. But either way. "And I don't stop her from drop kicking you," Rain admits to Kwa and Elsa. "Well. The water warmer should have some hot water sitting still, if you'd like. I'll probably have to give him some coffee and magic," A soft sigh.
Nemi peers, chirruping at Elsa. Meeeeee? She seems curious, sort of inching closer.
"Sure, coffee. And who? I do honor patient confidentiality," Sigh. But either way, the kitchen is open and - "One sec. Sorry to end your buzz a bit early..." But it's really not safe. She looks completely serene, having to take a moment to cast her magic. Kwabena's vision should clear a bit, at least. "I won't TOTALLY sober you up if you like, but you shouldn't be to the point of seeing things."
Elsa simply stands with her hands on her hips after Shift is dumped on the couch, letting him rant. "That's bring me coffee Rain *please*, you sot. Bloody hell." The Englishwoman attempts to decipher what the shapeshifter is saying, the effort causing her face to crumple a little, glancing at Rain. "I'll be honest, I have no idea what he's on about now. Woe betide the poor sod who tries to read his mind right at this moment." Elsa takes a step back at Shifts last proclamation, jabbing a finger at him. "Then you'll be adding a dry cleaning bill on top of your healthcare charges, sonny."
Elsa looks over at Rain, sympathetic and a little confused. "Oh, I'm sorry dear. I didn't mean to upset you. Trust me, I know what a complicated business family can be." Her own expression darkens a little. At potential remedies to Shifts condition, Elsa just looks a little exasperated. "Please, anything you've got that even has a tiny chance of sobering up would be welcome right at this point." That having been said, Elsa takes another step back as Rain casts her spell, nearly bumping into the pterosaur. "Whoops. Excuse me."
Kwabena sits forward a bit, his vision clearing. Quite literally, the purple color fades to reveal his normal eyes, and he seems less... swayish.
"... Wow." He pinches his nose for a moment, then turns to look at Rain with a delayed expression of gratitude. "Thanks. I think... I think I'd like to be completely sobah."
There's a small part of him that hates acknowledging that 'magic' is happening.
"I'm really sorry," he admits, still feeling as if he's trapped between dimensions or something. "Just... you know, with Pete and Amaya, now dis Priest is asking me to come talk to his Youth Group about my past as a drug dealah and piece of shit addict..." Looks like the TMI part of intoxication is still happening.
Suddenly, Kwabena bursts out of his seat and begins to sing. He sings with a rich voice full and operatic. "OOOOOHHH BUT I LOVED HER! AND SHE CURSED ME! I TRIED TO MOUNT HERRRRR BUT SHE SHUNNED ME!!"
He looks between Rain and Elsa with a helpless, pleading look, but keeps on singing.
"AND ONE DAY SHE'LL FIND ME INSIDE HER CHAMBERS, THE STRUMPET WON'T ESCAPE FROM MY ROCK HARD--"
Suddenly, he goes silent, falling back onto the couch with a pathetic thud.
Phil the Skeleton's voice can be heard cackling from the rafters.
"Okay," Rain nods, and will finish the spell. She'll clear off the remaining effects of the alcohol. "For the record, I suspect you probably got into her fae brew. Which usually tends to end hilariously or lethally. I am glad you came out of it okay," She smiles over. She looks to Elsa. "I'm used to it," A shrug. Rain definitely seems to exude a servant mentality. "I can't read minds and um, yeah, sorry Shift. IF you go all liquid phase on her, that's between you guys." Rain knows better than to get in the way of a grumpy English person.
She smiles sadly to Elsa. "Huh? Nah... that's just - the unfortunate nature of our relationship. My aunt was nicer to me. So I'm taking care of this. But you're still welcome to look at the runes. It would be nice to at least translate them all, so I can figure out who drank what," She wrinkles her nose. Nemi moves out of the way and cheeps at Elsa. A wing is carefully stretched. Elsa might get perched on if there's no objection.
At the mention of Pete and Amy and the priest, Rain's face falls a little. "Yeah... I'm worried about them," She admits. "And if you don't want to talk to them, that's okay. Although, it may be theraputic, I'm not sure." Then a blink, her eyes widening as Kwabena bursts into song. She steps back. "What!?"
"... DAMMIT, PHIL!"
Elsa can't help but grin a little as Rain's magic works its...well...magic, on Shift. "I think that's probably wise, don't you? You're quite intolerable when you're pissed." The monster hunter looks askance at her fellow Defenders when Wisdom and Amethyst are mentioned, wincing a little as Kwabena reveals a little bit too much of his own dark past. "On reflection, maybe you should stay sozzled, old chum."
At Rain's mention of the runes, Elsa nods. "I had an unearthly amount of education in the weird and wonderful drummed into me at an early age. I might have some dusty old tomes floating around the shop that can help. Not that I'll do it in good grace though, I really prefer field work." For 'field work', read 'shooting things'.
When Wisdom and Amethyst enter the equation, Elsa's expression sours a little. "Oh god, have those two had a spat or something? I've been on patrol since we got back from that Dragon lunacy in Gemworld. You'd never believe that Broadway could be infested by so many flesh eating ghouls."
Elsa's head snaps round as Shift begins to sing, surprisingly well. "Oh lovely, because today hasn't been mentally scarring enough yet, clearly." When the disembodied laughter floats down from on high, Elsa pulls out her shotgun and aims it vaguely at the ceiling. "Phil, you *will* behave or your metaphysical arse is grass!"
Horrified. That is the way one might explain the expression in Kwabena's eyes. Rain's magic has done it's thing, and he's feeling as sober as ever, but the whole situation has him wanting to go for his flask. You know, his flask that has real, normal bourbon in it.
Self control wins the day. He looks to Rain, thankful that his complexion hides blushing pretty well. It is with an earnest tone that he says, "-Thank you.-"
In spite of all the embarrassment and oddest, Kwabena managed to somehow notice Elsa and Rain's collective reactions to him mentioning Amaya and Pete.
He looks pointedly to Elsa, saying, "I'm pahfectly tolerable on normal, Earth booze." Then, he draws a deep breath, and signs. "We took a trip to Amaya's home..."
And proceeds to recount his perception of what happened.
Category:Log