Wong/Sold Products

== Wong's Tasty Treats From MARS!!!==
===Advertisement===
"Hey Kids! You ever feel hungry, or bored? Well no more! With 
WONG'S TASTY TREATS FROM MARS!!!
They come in three flavors:
(ADD PICTURE)
Wonton, Dirt, and Strawberry!
They also come in three shapes:
(ADD PICTURE)
Horse, Hippo, and ____      (Hey production crew... What the hell is this?)
They're super nutritious with 1,000,000,000 % of the daily recommended amount of sugar!
ORDER NOW!
Disclaimer:Sideeffectsmayincludevomitinginstantdiabetesheartattackstrokedeathorbecomingablackhole.Accessoriessoldseparately.Batteriesnotincluded.
ORDER NOW!"
===Trivia===
*Wong's Tasty Treats contain 1,000,000 kg of sugar, 3 grams of enriched wheat flour, and half a lethal dose of arsenic
*They are about the size of animal crackers
*No one knows why they don't collapse into black holes from their mass, how Wong can carry them but not a 20 pound weight, or where he got his hands on so much sugar
*They are very badly designed
==New Spice==
===Advertisement===
"Hello ladies. Do you want your man to smell like-
POW!
An old geezer? no!
So try NEW SPICE! 
They're fresh and not dry spices! they come in three distinct smells:
Green tea, Sweat, and Rotting Eggs!
ORDER NOW!
("Get out of here, Terry Crews!" "YOU INSULTED OLD SPICE AND NOW YOU WILL PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!")
==Niichan Ribaru==
===Advertisement===
"Introducing the new Niichan Ribaru.
It's faster than you.
Smarter.
Hotter.
It'll steal your boyfriend/girlfriend
Or it could be your girlfriend/boyfriend
Buy today with 1% APR (plus 100x tax) with the first month free for only $500.
Niichan. Incest that excites."
===Trivia===
*The Niichan Ribaru is a second rate car and is obviously a ripoff of Nissan.
*The Ribaru's Kanji is 癩病葉留, which can be translated to "leprosy leaf distillate". No one knows why it was chosen.
*Wong carries the only 1912 Niichan Ribaru left in existence, and is willing to sell it.
==Wong's Lion Ointment==
===Advertisement===
(WIP)
"LION OINTMENT
IT CAN CURE ALL SICKNESSES INCLUDING
BEING A LINDA (we all know who this is)
ALLERGIES
MINIONS
AND MORE
ORDER NOW"
===Trivia===
*Lion Ointment is a ripoff of Tiger Balm, and is a so called "Cure-All"
*Lion Ointment conatins everything Stevie is allergic to  , a 1/1,000,000th strength dose of Tasty Treat extract, lion bone marrow, gelatin, gum arabic, glass, and trace amounts of cocaine and methamphetamine.
*Even with their low tasty treat content, they are still extremely heavy for thier size.
*Despite being called an ointment, it is encased in an iron pill, to help fix blood loss possibly induced by shards of glass.
Category:Wong
Category:Just Wong