MouseHunt/Transcript

== Transcript ==
(The movie opens during Rudolf Smuntz’s funeral on a wet rainy day. The people are carrying Rudolf's coffin containing his corpse in it)
Hold your end up higher. You're not holding it.
I am too.
You are not.
Don't worry about me.
Mmm.
Isn't that suit charcoal?
No.
Looks charcoal gray to me. Some gray polyester blend.
You'd think you could find a black suit for your own father's funeral.
It's black.
No. I'm sure it's gray.
It's black.
Black.
Gray.
Gray!
Black!
Fine, it's black.
It's the grayest black I've ever seen.
It doesn't matter what color it is! Oww!
(Lars accidentally lifts too hard and breaks the handle off as Ernie screams, but they drop the coffin, which slides down the stairs. Inside the coffin, Rudolf's corpse is dead while the thunderclaps outside, just as his coffin slides downward toward the car.)
I'm sorry, Pop. I'm sorry!
(The coffin hits the vehicle, breaking the lid open, because it isn't fixed on properly, launching Rudolf’s corpse out of it, sailing through the air, and sending it into a sewer drain.)
Quick! Get him out of there!
He's halfway to the harbor by now, bub.
Ah, well.
(The factory workers are working getting lots of string made into balls. One of the balls rolls along the floor and blocks the entrance for the strings to go through. The cogs suddenly don't work. The factory now starts to explode)
[ man ] "I leave you not just a model factory, but something infinitely more valuable.
The future of string... itself."
[ explosion ] [ indistinct shouting ]
(The factory is sending balls and strings flying everywhere)
"And thus it is my dying wish that my two sons run Smuntz String together."
Great. Let's stick a "For Sale" sign on the lawn and see what we can get.
Ernie, we're not supposed to sell it.
We're supposed to run it together.
Either way, this Godforsaken museum piece is not worth a dime, now is it, Lars?
Some things are more important than money, Ernie.
Notice it's always the financially challenged who say that?
Uh, please, please.
"I also bequeath to you my personal effects, including my ceramic egg...
...half box of Cuban cigars...
Oh! Yes, yes, yes, yes.
My collection of spoons." [ clattering ]
[ Ernie ] My goodness, what a treasure. What a legacy.
Spoons! Spoons!
So many spoons, so little time.
Oh! And, of course, something no household should be without.
The ceramic egg! Ooh-hoo-hoo.
Can I have the egg? Can I? Huh? Huh? No.
I want you to have it. Fine, I'll take it!
(Lars accidentally gets his finger stuck in it)
If you find any real estate on that desk, let me know.
It seems there is also a house.
[ together ] A house? Yes, 5120 Nortondale.
[ chuckles ] Your father acquired it many years ago as payment of a debt.
He never lived there, but it's interesting.
It seems the previous owner was found locked in a trunk in the attic.
Wait a minute. Is it worth anything?
He was able to borrow $50,000 against it to pay his workers.
Really? So what is its value today?
$50,000.
Great. A worthless house and a broken-down string factory.
Oh, well. At least the day wasn't a total loss.
Thanks for the stogies, Pop.
Wait. You can't go. We have to go through all these papers.
(Lars accidentally waves forward and sends the egg flying out of his hand, hitting the lawyer on the head and crashing it onto the floor, which breaks it apart)
You'll have to excuse me. I've got a date with the mayor.
(outside Chez Ernie, a car enters, and as the Mayor, his wife, and kids come out, the reporters crowd around them, and ask them questions)
[ thunderclaps ] [ reporters chattering ]
Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor, over here! Mr. Mayor!
Do you think your recent triple heart bypass will affect your campaign strategy?
Now, Leslie, I'm just here to eat.
(inside, Ernie greets the Mayor, his wife, and kids)
Ah, Monsieur Maire, Madame Maire, welcome to Chez Ernie.
[ French accent ] Ah, what an honor it is to have you in my humble bistro.
Suivez-moi. Oh, you brought the little ones.
The little bicycle thieves. Bonjour! Our very best table.
Have you lost a little weight? Oh, I...
I think so! I think you may be buff!
[ laughs ] Je suis enchantÃ© pour vÃ´tre beautÃ©.
You know what I mean? Oh, Monsieur Ernie...
[ chuckles ] Excusez-moi. Au revoir, les enfants!
[ sighs ] The air's not so thin at the top.
Just like the old man to die before I hit it big.
(as Ernie's father's box of cuban suddenly opens, a cockroach comes loose and scurries out)
Remember, everyone. Attention to detail is vital!
Presentation is everything.
No, no, no, no, no! These I must deliver myself.
[ roars ]
(Ernie and his servants take the food to the Mayor, his wife, and kids)
Duck a l'orange avec du quack sauce...
And, for ze mayor, la spÃ©cialitÃ© de la maison, lobster loaf Ã la Ernst ou la bibliothÃ¨que.
Oh... Bon appÃ©tit.
[ exhales ]
(the reporters enter to meet Ernie)
Ah, bonjour!
How does it feel to be serving the mayor on the eve of his reelection?
Well, Leslie...
May I call you Leslie? Ah, of course.
(Unfortunately, unaware of this, the Mayor, who is unknowingly served the cockroach, accidentally bites his head)
Crunchy! Hmm. I love the almonds.
Leslie, cuisine, she is a fickle mistress...
Ee-yew! Look! [ squishing ]
(Becky picks up the headless cockroach with a fork)
A cockroach! [ shocked whispering ]
(The Mayor gapes, and as the reporters her the kids talking about the cockroach's body, they explain to their father that he has accidentally eaten the cockroach's head, and now suddenly feels ill)
That's only half a cockroach.
Daddy! You ate the head!
Honey, are you OK?
(The Mayor realizes what he has eaten and spews the cockroach's head out onto the table. The twins try to stab the cockroach with utensils, hoping to kill him for poisoning their father. The Mayor holds himself, coughs while clutching his chest in agony, then collapses to the floor, screaming, until he falls off, due to this shock, which causes him to have a heart attack from it, and forces him to fall over onto the ground unconscious)
[ screaming ] Not again!
(As the reporters crowd around him, Ernie stands there, looking quite tramutised, as the reporters now crowd around him, demanding to know if he intended to murder the Mayor, or if it was an accident)
[ reporters ] Was this an accident, or did you murder him...?
(The Mayor is taken away in a hospital ambulance truck by the paramedics, who put him in there, and try vainly to revive him, but fail. As they try again, the kids play outside. Much to his sorrow, Ernie's restaruant closes)
Clear!
I can do that better! [ crying, blubbering ]
(Meanwhile, at the Smuntz Factory)
[ man ] Smuntz String is a relic of history.
You don't make string by twining two strands together anymore.
No. You make it simple, singular, strong, with nylon.
But that's not string. That's cord.
Exactly. Twine is yesterday.
Single-strand cord is today. Zeppco International has been interested in your factory for years, but your father refused to sell.
We are hopin' you'd be a little smarter.
Zeppco is willin' to buy you out, and bring this museum into the 21st century.
'Course, we would keep you on as a string consultant, with a huge salary and a hefty pension.
So... What do you say?
[ sighs ]
(Lars picks a piece of string out of his pocket and remembers his memories about his brother and father, who are in a flashback talking to each other)
My sons... [ whispers ] Ernie.
Ernie! Yeah. Just a sec.
I want you... to have... something.
My most prized possession.
[ sighs ] Oh, it's a piece of string.
Not just any string. The string.
I found it my first day in America.
What's with the string?
It's been in my pocket for 60 years.
Here! I want you two to share it.
Maybe it'll bring you closer together.
You haven't talked much lately.
Yeah. [ grunts ] Ah! What are you doing?
I'm breaking it in half. No!
No? I want you to share it.
Forever. Sure, Pop, sure.
Here, you carry it the first 50 years, I'll take it the next.
Sure. Turn up the morphine drip.
I heard that.
Promise me... that you will never sell...
...Smuntz String...
...to one of those big conglomerates.
Keep it between you.
Brothers. Family.
Promise. I promise, Pop.
(the flashback ends to Lars, who is holding the string)
[ Lars's voice ] I promise. So you were sayin'?
I'll have to pass. What?
A world without string is chaos.
(at the house, April, Lars' wife, ticked off at him, throws stuff to break apart, and decides to dump him)
For once the Smuntz name was worth something!
No, no! Don't! Oh!
You... You used to love string!
That was before, when I was dating the son of a wealthy string magnate!
Not now, when I am married to the half-owner of a worthless deathtrap!
I thought you'd be happy! I stood up for myself today.
April, I've got new ideas for the factory.
You know, I've got big plans!
Don't you see, Lars? That's all you've ever had are plans.
But my life is passing me by, and I... I need more!
There's no air in the middle class. I can't breathe here.
Please, April, don't go. [ sighs ]
I'm not going anywhere.
(Lars is sent packing away from his wife and is now in a cafeteria as the news spread wide on the TV)
In a few brief moments, the joy of the holidays was shattered, and the world changed for many people.
Mayor McKrinkle died this afternoon at 4:30 p.m., at our Lady of Sorrows Hospital.
Doctors here say the official cause of death is heart failure due to the mayor's recent culinary disaster.
And, once the hottest restaurant on the wharf, Chez Ernie has been condemned and scheduled for demolition.
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