Questionable Beguinings

== Jokes at the Bar ==
Our story starts at a small Tavern in the great Elven Empire of Koruthar, a soon to be famous Elf steps up on stage and does his standup routine. A strange crustacean man walks in, accompanied by an Elf with darker skin typical of the deserted region in the continent. And finally a persistent Dwarf drinks more than he bargain for.
However some of the Elf´s racial inclined jokes do not appease a couple of human thugs, who invite the elven comedian outside and start a brawl. Being 3v1 the Elf pulls no punches, quickly stabbing the leg of one and dodging the attacks of other.
The clients of the tavern simple watch. But help soon arrives has the drunk Dwarf comes to the aid of the struggling Elf.
The Elf and the Dwarf quickly turn the tides of battle, with the darker Elf amusing himself with sand traps and confusion.
The law of the Empire quickly arrives to stop this chaotic brawl, but 2 of the human thugs are already dead with the other a foot in the grave. The guards pay little attention to the dead humans, focusing more on the gathered crowd that was watching the display.
The guards let the group go without any trial, but ordered them not to leave the city, and to mark their presence at the center of the city every day until the whole business was properly investigated.
This displeased the group, for they were busy adventures and had no time to lay around the city until this mess was solved. They exchanged names and came up with a quick solution.
== Ogres and Stones ==
After talking with the towns guards they discovered that the mayor of the town, Jewstine, had placed a contract to all who may take it. Apparently some Ogres that lived nearby stole a stone and killed a citizen, any adventurer who dared journey into the Ogre village to retrieve the stone would be rewarded greatly. Including a new house and being in the good graced of the Mayor
Laedo and Sandga were content with the reward of gold and the opportunity to fix the mess and be able to leave the city again. However Po´Tu was more interest in the opportunity to make connections with the leader of this foreign land.
And so they went to the nearby Ogre village, accompanied by a new “sparkly” friend Bininho, who only wished “Porrada e vinho verde”…or whatever that means.
The soon to be named Lads successfully retrieved the stone, fighting arcane golems and running away from the Ogre population. However Laedo would start his long burning crusade in this mission by burning the wood walls and houses of the Ogre village as they made their escape.
== Horny Demons Joins ==
With a successful return the adventuring group was well compensated, and Jewstine the mayor offered the complete clearing of any changes the group had before, and upped the deal by giving the group a house. And telling them if they decided to stay in town has an adventuring group and help the guards find out what happened to the old man murdered by the Ogres they would have plenty of rich jobs in the future.
The group accepts the deal and take the house, but a nearby tiefling who came to the mansion to receive his payment of the night before, saw the amount of riches the group was getting and was persuaded to join them.
== Old Man Jenkins ==
When they arrived at the promised house they discover that the house they just received was actually where the murder of the old man took place, being an active crime scene. The guards strongly believe that the Ogres broke in and stole the stone from the Old Man, so The Lads are only tasked with investigating who informed the Ogres of the stone.
Investigating the house they surmise that the Old Man was quickly assassinated with powerful poison, and that the killers soon begun to look for something in the house. However a lot of the destruction in the house seemed almost deliberate, making Laedo question the identity of the murders has he asked “How would dumb Ogres kill a man like that, they are to retarded for that”.
However the investigation were soon interrupted by Mercurius, the assistant of the mayor who came with a mysterious magic ring. Mercurius says that the Old Man protected the ring very well before he was assassinated, and he thinks the ring is important for the investigation in some way or another.
The Lads are distrustful of the ring, and request the aid of the Priestess of Knowledge that lives nearby. And after some questions and a rejected advance from Koltar, the Priestess tells them that the ring contains a small plain in it, but is unsure of what might happen if you put it on.
So with this information Massiwa forces the ring into a guard’s finger, unknowingly sending them both to the pocket dimension inside the ring.
== The Ring ==
The Lads follow Massiwa inside the ring, solving puzzles and defeating foes along the way. Coming across a strange library full of old books, maps and strange magical items.
With no clear way of leaving the ring The Lads keep pushing forward, until they are able to finally open the main door by reading a strange incantation found in the library.
At the center of the ring they find an imprisoned angel in distress, they try to free the poor angel, however using a potent mind ring Koltar sees though the Demon´s disguise. What they are seeing is not actually an angel but a frightening demon.
However Koltar doesn’t immediately make that connection, and The Lads end up freeing the demon from its prison. The Demon quickly takes the upper hand, so The Lads resort to diplomacy and make a deal with the creature.
He explains that now that he is free he only needs to cast a soul into the endless limbo to free them all from the ring. So The Lads offer the demon the guard Massiwa forced into the ring as sacrifice, destabilizing the ring, freeing The Lads and turning the ring unusable in the process.
== Goblin in the storage ==
Being unsure of what they got themselves into and what to do next they decided to investigate the other house of the Old Man in a neighboring city, apparently old man Jenkins was going to move to that house before he was murdered, so The Lads believe it’s worth investigating.
When they arrive they fight a Goblin that broke in the house and almost escape. They don’t find out what the Goblin was looking for or who killed the old man Jenkins, but they discover that the Goblin carried powerful poison, and that he was part of a mysterious cult known has “The Cult of the Night Serpent”.
== Burning Heist ==
Using the Goblin´s possessions, The Lads track down the cult to one of the most populated cities in the region. However they don’t know how to navigate the city and find the cult leader. So they make some connections at the local tavern meting Jargo and Xindra, who help the Lads enlist the help of the city mafia to help them in their cause.
Thankfully the mafia boss already had his sight on the cult, but needed to steal a small artifact from a noble in town to access the cult and couldn’t get his hands dirty in this occasion. So the boss entrusts the Lads with the stealing of the artifact, with Xindra helping them indirectly has a plan helper.
After a not so stealthy heist, The Lads steal the artifact from the noble’s safe. Burning the house and the noble´s whore with it.
== The Cult of the Nigh Serpent ==
With the stolen artifact The Lads now have a clear entrance into the cult, and after some quick planning they decide to hide all members and mafia backup, inside their magic mirror which contained a pocket space for free storage. Except Koltar and Po´Tu, Koltar would play the role of a slave owner trying to sell Po´Tu to the cult, in hopes of getting closer to the leader of the cult.
The plan succeeds and they easily pass the first defenses of the cult, however when Koltar realizes that he cannot get closer to the boss of the cult has he is currently, he unleashes the member in the mirror. Wreaking havoc all around, and quick starting a huge fight in the premises of the cult.
But of course the cult is no match for the might of The Lads, amidst the confusion Koltar even managed to sawed some member to their side. And has the cult leader is killed with a quick smack on the head by Po´Tu has he burns with oil set by Laedo, our heroes cheer in victory.
After the fight The Lads took all the gold and valued possessions the cult had, and freed the slaves the cult held captive. Laedo and Koltar took opportunity of this moment of heroism, having an orgy with 5 girls in the cult´s main hall, fathering 1 child in the case of Laedo, and 3 children in the case of Koltar.
Apart from getting gold and releasing cum, The Lads also discovered the journal with the cult´s dealings. The records contain a lot of shady dealings, but most importantly they discover that the assassination of old man Jenkins was executed by this cult in order to get the ring The Lads now possess, and that they were harvesting fresh dead bodies, all at the command of a mysterious figure known only has “Mister P”.
However the most worrying of news was that the assassination contract had been recently changed from “Old Jenkins” to “The Lads”.
== Ogre Rides In ==
Out of leads and thinking they are dangerously deep in the whole situation, they decide to return back home to rest and regroup. After some discussion they decided to pursue the case, and ask for help from Jewstine in finding this mysterious “Mister P”.
The busy mayor has no idea of what they are talking about, but points them to a man known has “Master William”. He is the leader of an order of knights known has “The Knights of Koruthar”, and is currently having trouble with dealing with mysterious monster attacks in the Empire.
The mayor also informs them that Master William will soon be attending a noble party, and he gives them a letter of recommendation. They need only find the temporary housing of Master William and deliver the letter to the guards to have a personal meting with the famous man.
However their travel preparations were interrupted, has they were leaving the mansion an Ogre charges in, half fighting, half ridding a large beast from the woods. Together The Lads and the ogre easily fight off the beast, and seeing the group is preparing to travel, the ogre decides to join them in their adventures.
The Lads then picked up their caravan and quickly made their way to the city.
== The Death House ==
The journey was not smooth sailing however, in the way to the city their caravan was stopped by dense fog. This fog had mind controlling properties, and took hold of Bininho and Massiwa.
Unable to break the control and fearing being next, The Lads followed the two to an old mansion hidden amongst the trees and bushes.
Although the house was cleared of possession, the rooms still hid strange foes and dark secrets. But of course using their wit and cunning The Lads made their way to the depths of the mansion, battling an enormous bone golem and uncovering the mansions dark secrets.
They discovered that the house was the center of a strange cult that worshiped an old demon. However when the demon stopped responding to the cult their order became confused and chaotic, it was then that a mysterious man named Mister P arrived and gave the cult a new options of worship.
The details were not cleared, but it appeared Mister P tricked the cult into sacrificing themselves, as the two daughters of the house owner starved to death locked in a room.
And in their place the bone golem would attract people to the mansion, and send their bodies to another place, keeping only their bones.
However defeating the Bone Golem broke the curse and the fog, making The Lads free to travel once again.
== The Theater ==
When The Lads finally arrive at their destination, they see people running in panic as they leave the city, and gates and doors being closed with guards moving around trying to contain the fire and the panic.
As they approach the city entrance a guard informs them that the city is currently under attack by strange stone constructs, and that thankfully the Knights of Koruthar will arrive soon and solve the situation but it will take some time before the city is safe again. So civilians should stay out of the city as for now, but if they wished to help in the fighting they were more than welcomed to.
At first they felt disinterested, but when the guard mentions that the daughter of the noble who runs the city has been taken captive at the city theater The Lads quickly swoop in the action.
The Lads make their way into the city, fighting some golems and discovering the golems are taking bodies they find into the city theater. So they stealthily make their way into the theater, and although they were not able to stop them from closing the portal, they continue on to try to find the princess.
They soon discover that the place has been reshaped and magically enchanted, has they travel though paintings, and into different rooms. Meeting a very depressed white golem that tells them he has very happy memories that are from other people, and making their way into the main hall of the theater.
In the main hall they find a masked man playing piano, the noble lady elf in a cage, and a large strange humanoid creature with 2 floating masks who refers to himself has simply “The Actor”.
Even though during the battle Laedo took a seat before getting hit in the face with a powerful attack, the battle was tense, for The Actor had many tricks up his sleeve. But evil was never trouble for the mighty Lads who defeat the foe and save the princess.
After escaping the city the Knights of Koruthar arrive and clean the city. With the noble leader appearing to The Lads and thanking them for saving is daughter, and inviting them for his party has “Great and Noble Heroes”. They also contact Master William who also thanks them for the help, and advises they rest for the day and discuss further business after the party.
== Shrook does the thing ==
Bininho gets raped. Fuck you.
Shrook gets killed.
== Murder Mystery ==
With 1 less member The Lads attend the noble party, getting Laedo some good head in the bathroom using Shrook´s grief, and making good friends with Clyde Magnus the Magic prodigy. However tragedy “stroke” when the noble was assassinated in his own room during the party.
The Lads investigate, discovering the real killer was the husband of the lady elf they saved. Who made a deal with a strange figure, in order to take the city has his property.
== Gnome´s Game ==
After the party they finally get a meeting with Master William, who informs them that he has been tracking this mysterious Mister P for quite a while, but he has proven himself very hard to find.
However he had already started a plan to place “Magic Detection Poles”, to capture any infernal or other “evil” energies in the area. And he requested The Lads to retrieve a particular powerful stone made by a Gnome that refused to sell it, so the only way to get a hold of the stone was by playing a “Strange Game”.
So the The Lads accepted the task, and made their way to the Gnome´s “Game”. But first they meet a strange individual named “Zalfir”, who described himself has “not of this world”, which the Lads took it to mean different things.
When they arrived they solved a series of puzzles and defeated strange chaotic monsters. And arriving at the reward room, where the Gnome offered one item from his great collection.
However the Lads wanted more than 1 of the items, so Koltar offered a “pleasurable deal”, which the Gnome accepted.
== Battle of the Bards ==
After returning to Master William with the desired crystal, the important noble thanks them in the name of Empire and tells them they have gained his complete trust.
After some exchange of information Master William says he might know someone who is interested in a Ring similar to the one The Lads possess currently. So he tells them to return home and wait for a especial and prestigious visitor.
When they arrive home they know of a Bard competition in a big village close to Meirin Center, but of course Koltar was obviously very interested and requested for The Lads attendance in the competition.
Koltar trained hard and gave it his best shot, but ultimately he was not able win the competition.
But when the winner of the competition was receiving his prize, from the statue in the center of the village a great monster of fire came forth. Along with a strange portal, the monster pushed the entire front rows into the portal sending them to an unknown place.
The Lads quickly acted the defeated the mysterious monster that turned to ash immediacy after getting destroyed. They were not able to understand the destination of the Portal, but investigating the area they discovered that a portal had been set up deep inside the statue.
Pursuing the case they learned that the statue had been recently “renovated” by the noble that owned the village, and with the help of Narcia, Koltar´s Mother, they also learned that despite how everyone reported this incidents, these monsters were in fact, not demons.
The Lads then quickly went to talk to the leader, however he seemed confused about the question and quickly began to get irritated and shake. But it was when Zalfir casted zone of truth and forced the man to answer that the Elf´s madness became clear has he twisted and turned.
In a moment of inspiration Po´Tu decided to focus his magic detection eye, and observed that this man had a strange “spiritual reading”. He possessed a strong magical power, however it was almost all concentrated at the center of his head.
Unfortunately he also realized that the Elf´s shaking was due to a concentration of power that would precede an explosion.  Po´Tu tried getting out of the way and warning the other but it was too late, has the man exploded and splatted flesh and blood all over The Lads.
Going through the man’s finance they also discovered a great deal of his wealth was being sent elsewhere, and that the suggestion for the contest was deliberate chosen to attract The Lads.
== Lads on the Offence ==
Returning home The Lads pondered once again in the mess and danger they have gotten themselves into.  Deciding to go on the offence and find out more, they sent a false contract to sell dead bodies to anyone who gave enough coin. Being successful in their endeavor, attracting a mysterious hooded figure.
Sandga showed himself but was immediately recognized, prompting the hooded figure to run away. But he was no match for the effectiveness of The Lads who capture him.
After interrogating and investigating they discovered that the figure cannot say anything or it will immediately die, much like the noble back at the bard competition.
So they devise a plan, and consensually kill the mysterious figure and place its soul inside the monkey statue possessed by Po´Tu.
With the soul free from the incantation on its body, the figure explains The Lads that he is but one of many shape shifting creature made by Mister P that they call “The Master”. They are made from the bodies and souls of other creatures, and Mister P has taught them that they are the true superior race, and that they must help him achieve his final goal of whipping out anyone else.
However he overtime regained some memories of the pervious life of his soul, and was trying to survive in this strange world.
== The Ring 2 ==
A couple days later they received a visitor.
The Ring seemed almost identical to the one The Lads possessed, however when they put it on nothing seemed to work. It was only when Massiwa touched it that he was teleported to a pocket dimension within the ring.
Inside the Ring they found many corpses of Elfs, and these strange purple humanoid creatures, with an octopus like head. But amidst the investigation the noble Elf revealed himself to be one of those strange octopus creatures and attacked The Lads, the fight was tough but The Lads ultimately prevailed.
Making their way to a locked room in the ring they found many notes and spell books rewritten in Old Elven, and a seemingly very old painting, depicting a man identical to Massiwa.
Massiwa always seemed crazy and on the verge of madness, but seeing the painting something snapped in him, has he began whispering nonsenses and shaking in a paralyzing agony.
But the most peculiar of twist came when Po´Tu decided to use the same method he used on the village leader on Massiwa. With Massiwa showing a strange energetic reading, similar to the Mister P conspirator.
== Boats, pirates, drugs and love ==
After Massiwa regained enough sanity The Lads questioned him, and found out he knew nothing about Mister P or what the painting situation was all about. But after relaying to him that the whispered something about a city in the sands and a queen in the desert, Massiwa informed them that he had been looking for a legendary city hidden in the desert, and that perhaps the key to his insanity resided deep within the ancient city.
So The Lads informed Mercurius of their departure, and asked him for help getting a boat. Mercurius quickly pointed them to an Elf who would frequently trade with the deserted region, although he was a weird figure to deal with to say the least.
Meeting the man he quickly gave The Lads a price, and they hopped on board in direction to the desert.
Along the journey they fought against a strange green women who commanded a pirate ship, and Koltar met the love of his life who was the navigator of this boat.
== The Desert City ==
When they arrived at the desert they made their way to the Worm City, a city built from excavating the corpse of a petrified purple worm.
They wished to speak with the queen of the city, who resembled the women Massiwa had been dreaming about. However along the journey Massiwa´s madness grew worst, so The Lads did not know how much time they had before it was permanent.
So they asked around and discovered that the city had very strict rules, and an immense religious fervor, ruled by a queen who is heavily guarded and busy, and that they had no chance of ever getting a meeting with the queen. Which made Po´Tu was very annoyed because he saw this as an opportunity to establish diplomatic relation with the region.
But The Lads were distracted by a beautiful Elf lady, the lady peaked Laedo´s interest, but by the rules of the region the lady was to be wed to the strongest warrior who wished to take her hand. And that man was “Taruk the Tall”, and he would not give the lady´s hand so easily.
So Laedo devised a plan, he gathered information on the usual routine of the man and together with some members of The Lads (not Zalfir cause he misunderstood the time) they surprised attacked Taruk in the middle of the desert.
Taruk proved a mighty opponent, but he was no match to the combined gang bang of 4 Lad members.
When they returned to the city they were approached by the city guard, thinking that they had been caught they became nervous. But they actually brought good news, the queen wished to speak with The Lads directly out of her own will.
== Queen in the Desert ==
When they arrived at the throne room they saw a beautiful queen, surrounded by guards and immense riches.
The Queen told them that their arrival was foreseen by her great wisdom and powers. Massiwa immediately recognized her as the women in her dreams, holding a powerful staff that, the same he possessed in the painting.
The queen ordered Massiwa to speak why he had come here, but words escaped his mouth has Massiwa squatted down and took a massive dump in the middle of the royal throne.
The guards and Queen were obviously furious, but The Lads explained to her the madness that had been inflicted on him. The Queen quickly forgave them, already understanding the curse that had been inflicted on Massiwa, but if Massiwa was really the man she thought he was, he would know what to do from there.
Massiwa focused and looking around the room he received vision, or perhaps memories of this place. And has he approached the royal throne the guards stopped him but the Queen told them to let the man do his business.
And has he reached below the throne, he pulled an ancient chest. The advisor to the queen told him good job on finding it but that it proved nothing, since the chest could not be opened. However with a mere touch Massiwa easily opened the chest.
The room was in complete disbelief, but The Lads instantaneously became euphoric smiling and chanting. Until Koltar made the mistake of inciting and chanting Massiwa as the true ruler of the city.
The guards immediately descended on them has heretics, but they were stopped by the enraged Queen who ordered the immediately leave of The Lads members, except Massiwa who she needed to talk to. All members agreed, except Bininho who refused to leave and submit to her laws, however she was unable to resist the Queen´s spell, being transformed into a worm the size of a dog and thrown out the high window.
Inside the chest was a map and a strange small plate, the Queen confided in Massiwa that she needed him to retrieve some “blue liquid” from the ruins, and that unfortunately he was the only one capable to reaching that place again.
Massiwa agreed to retrieve some of the liquid for a reward, which the Queen gladly accepted.
== The Moonbeam Incident ==
Now outside the walls having been kicked out, and with a fairy with a broken arm The Lads were not 100% happy with the outcome of the mission. They helped fix Bininho has they discussed what just happened, but after some back and forth Po´Tu became increasingly irritated by another missed chance of establishing diplomatic reactions.
Eventually the discussion culminated into Po´Tu attempting to Moon Beam Laedo, but the spell was stopped by a counter spell from Koltar.
After this day Laedo and Koltar made a pact to either kill Po´Tu, or let him die.
== Desert Ruins ==
The Lads finally made their way into the hidden ruins in the desert, using an elevator buried deep within the sands.
They encountered many kinds of mysterious reality bending creatures, and utterly incompressible technology. Well mostly incompressible, Zalfir recognized some of the tech has similar to the one given to his planet by mysterious race.
However The Lads didn’t took Zalfir´s rambling seriously and proceeded to up in the ruins, eventually turning off the power in the entire building, shutting off all the powerful constructs within the area.
Unexpectedly Mister P himself appeared in front of The Lads and purposed a deal, if The Lads would just give him the artifact found on the room they just entered, he would call off all the assassination contracts he had on them, and he would even help cure Massiwa. However if they did not agree to the deal, they would almost surely die fighting his immense power.
After some back and forth, a zone of truth was cast, and Mister P even admitted that he had no real motivation to pursue them after this, and that they could do whatever they liked has long has he had the artifact.
The Lads agreed, giving the artifact to Mister P, but they requested the immediate cure of Massiwa.
Mister P obliged, quickly piercing Massiwa head, taking out a crystal in it and killing him. However in the room there was a strange devise with a man identical to Massiwa, Mister P merely placed the stone in the machine. The machine then opened releasing the man who looked like Massiwa, and has Mister P told them it would take a while before he woke up, he took his leave.
== So Massiwa wasn’t just retarded? Or is he? ==
As they made their way back to the Empire of Koruthar, Massiwa decided not to return to the city with the blue liquid and told The Lads about his new found memories.
Apparently he had once been a famous explorer, which after discovering some Dragon accounts about a “Glorious Mysterious City Hidden in the Sands”, dedicated his life to uncovering the secrets of this fantastic tale.
He knew the desert well enough but did not had the resources to fulfill the full scope of his ambitions. However one day a powerful noble wished to have a meeting with him, and offered to finance all of his research, but in exchange he would have to give him any artifact he wished to possess.
Massiwa agreed to the terms, for his focus was more on finding the ruins, than the treasure within.
Overtime however, Massiwa grew more and more distrustful of the Elf´s dealing, and began to pry into the noble’s secrets. Eventually finding out he was doing some dealings with strange “Octopus head like creatures”.
But when he found the ruins, he knew he could not give all that power of the Elf. Running away with the treasures, creating the worm city and the Rings has protection. But eventually the strange Octopus creatures caught up to him, and he fled into the ruins activating the defense systems and hiding the clues so that only one of his man would find the way to the ruins again.
However before he locked himself in the ruins, Mister P activated a spell he had hidden within him without his knowing capturing his soul, thankfully he resisted long enough to hide his memories deep within his body and the alien machine. But with most of his soul and some of his early memories, Mister P created a puppet Massiwa to wonder the land in hopes of reaching the ruins again.
Although the puppet him would often go insane, leading to Mister P having to keep remaking the puppet him. So now he had the memories of him wondering the land for more than 400 years, and 14 puppet Massiwas.
But it appears now he had finally got the thing he wanted.
== Blamed ==
Once The Lads finally arrived in the Empire they were treated with a below average reception. Has they were being arrested for the murdering of the king who owned the lands in the name of the Emperor.
This was obviously a set-up, and with the help of Mercurius who believed in their innocence they escaped the guards, and ran away to the small hidden village they had saved previously.
== The Final Confrontation ==
Hiding in the village, they contacted Clyde Magnus who was reluctant to come to their aid, but assuming they would only call him if they were innocent, he quickly travelled to the village using his excellent portal magic.
Has they explained the situation Clyde agreed to help, however their conversation was interrupted has the sky turned dark, and a great curse had been unleashed on the land.
Clyde using his portal magic teleported The Lads to the source of the curse, leading them to the castle belonging to the king of the region. However the entire city was taken over by these strange dark creatures.
As they made their way inside the castle they were stopped by strange creatures that resembled The Lads members, but with a sinister twist to their appearance, even the long dead Shrook appeared, although his body had been possessed and controlled by Mister P´s magic.
However they were no match for the REAL Lads, who defeated the strange lookalikes and made their way to the throne room.
But in a strange twist Mister P revealed himself to be none other than Master William, the sinister figure had been hiding has a prestigious noble all along.
The battle was intense, but The Lads were able to stop the final stages of the ritual. Defeating Mister P for good.
Category:Event
Category:Season 1