Blast to the Past

Blast to the Past is the eighteenth episode and the season finale of Season One in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward decide to visit Bikini Bottom to see how it's been going since they left for Fancyland. They feel that something isn't right, however. 
==Synopsis==
Squidward is watering his newly planted pansies. He sniffs them and exhales.
“This is the life,” he says with a smile. “I’m glad I can be rich, not worry about money, and actually be able to afford anything I want. In fact, Robo-Tron, come here!”
A robot comes speeding on its wheels into Squidward’s garden.
“Please don’t trample my new flowers,” Squidward says.
“Message received,” Robo-Tron says. “What would you like from me, Squidward?”
“I’d like a cup of tea, please.”
“Will do, sir.”
Robo-Tron speeds away, and comes back with tea as fast as he went.
“That was even quicker than last time,” Squidward notices.
“I’m working on improving my routes. You can always improve them with the click of a bu-”
“Nah nah, just do what you’re doing right now.”
“Message received. Is there anything else I can do?”
“Yes, I’d like my daily insult towards SpongeBob.”
“Will do.” Robo-Tron generates an insult. “SpongeBob, your brain is the size of this walnut, except way smaller.”
Squidward laughs as Robo-Tron speeds away again.
“Yep, I do not miss Bikini Bottom one bit. I wonder what’s going on back over there anyway.” Squidward brushes away this thought as he sips his tea.
Meanwhile…
SpongeBob is bouncing on a goo ball.
“These goo balls sure are bouncy,” SpongeBob says. “Reminds me of that one time in Goo Lagoon.”
“Yeah, it was awful. I miss SpongeBlob!” Patrick says.
“It’s okay, Patrick, it’ll be okay,” SpongeBob reassures.
“I wonder if he’s still in Bikini Bottom…”
“He’s gone, Patrick.”
“NOOOO!”
“But that does give me an idea. What if we take a trip down memory lane and visit good ol’ Bikini Bottom, huh?”
“Sounds good to me.” Patrick sniffles.
Squidward notices this commotion.
“What’s with all the racket? I’m trying to find more insults to throw at you!” Squidward yells.
“We aren’t playing tennis, Squidward,” SpongeBob says. “We’re gonna revisit Bikini Bottom. Wanna come?”
“No I don’t wanna come.”
“Are you sure? You might meet your old friends.”
“Pfft, I don’t have any old friends. Except her…” Squidward drifts into a happy daydream.
“Uh Squidward are you okay?” SpongeBob snaps his finger.
Squidward shakes his head back and forth and snaps out of it.
“Yeah, um, I was totally not crushing on someone.”
“Squidward! The only love we have here in Fancyland is the love for fancy! And the Krusty Krab. And friendship. And-”
“A talking sponge who won’t shut up,” Squidward interrupts.
“Come on, Squid. Let’s go!” SpongeBob grabs Squidward by the tentacle and they all walk into the sunset.
“I’m gonna be burned alive…” Squidward says.
Cut to the trio arriving in Bikini Bottom. It looks exactly as when they left it.
“Let’s check out the Krusty Krab first!” SpongeBob says.
“Whoopie…” Squidward says.
Cut to the trio visiting the old Krusty Krab. SpongeBob opens the doors and gasps.
“It’s just how we left it!” SpongeBob says. “Except with these guys.”
“Go away,” SpongeRobert says.
“I thought you were the fry cook. A fry cook should always be at his grill,” SpongeBob says.
“I’m on my break.”
“Mr. Krabs never gives us those. We don’t need them, do we Squidward?”
“A break would be nice,” Squidward replies.
“Let me give you guys a tour, huh?” SpongeRobert asks. “Gives me something to do for a little bit, I guess.”
“I don’t see why not,” SpongeBob says. “Patrick, you in? Patrick?”
Patrick is drooling all over a customer’s desk.
“Get your lips off my table, please,” the customer says.
SpongeBob pulls Patrick off the desk.
“Aww, it was driftwood!”
“No time for complaining, Patrick, because we have a tour to do.”
“Alrighty then, let’s go,” SpongeRobert says.
SpongeRobert shows them the grill room.
“Here’s the grill. It’s just a grill, nothing much. Next.”
“Only a grill? Oh please,” SpongeBob says. “It’s a national treasure.”
“Yeah, sure. Next stop: Crabs Sr.’s office.”
Crabs Sr. is building an airplane out of cards, and loses concentration.
“What’s the meaning of this, boy?” he demands.
“We’re here to give these guys a tour,” SpongeRobert says.
“Well, why didn’t you say so?”
Crabs Sr. notices how rich SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick are.
“Fancyland, correct?” he asks.
“Indeed, and I’m proud to be from there-” Squidward is cut off.
“Yeah yeah, cut the chit-chat, I need to get back to loathing in peace,” SpongeRobert interrupts.
“Mr. Robert! These fine gentlemen are here to see our lovely restaurant!” Crabs Sr. scolds.
“Lovely? Far from it,” SpongeRobert says.
“Do I smell visitors?” Octoward comes into the office to see what’s going on.
“Dear Neptune, give me a break…” SpongeRobert says to himself.
“SpongeRobert, you can go back to swabbing the floors. I’m sure Octoward is a much better tour guide,” Crabs Sr. says.
SpongeRobert leaves to sulk.
“Why don’t you try one of our finest… Prabby Katties?” Crabs Sr. says as he holds out a box of them.
“Would I?!” SpongeBob takes one and bites into it. He starts feeling woozy.
“I’m not interested,” Squidward says.
“I am!” Patrick takes a Prabby Katty and eats it whole.
“How is it?” Crabs Sr. asks.
“I… can’t tell…” SpongeBob says, dizzy.
“Something wrong?”
“Yeah, I feel really… something.”
“That’s odd. Nobody’s gotten dizzy from eating a Prabby since the crumb famine of ‘19.”
“That’s a year ago,” Squidward says.
“Yeah, but it feels like it’s been way longer,” Crabs Sr. says. “We need to get this buckaroo to the doctor’s.
“I think I’m about to pass out,” SpongeBob says.
Crabs Sr. carries SpongeBob as he’s about to fall down and leaves the Krusty Krab.
“Wow, he’s such a good guy, eh, Squidward?” Patrick asks.
“Something’s wrong here,” Squidward says. “SpongeBob ate the patty and passed out, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“Beats me. Must have a killer appetite.”
“Interesting… I think it’s time to bring back an old persona I’d like to call…”
“Squidward Tentacles: Jazz Detective,” a narrator says.
“Who said that?” Squidward says.
“It is me, Zee French Narrator. Do you not know me?”
“I’ve heard of Zee French Scientist,” Squidward answers.
“Oh, my cousin. He’s a bit cuckoo if I must say so myself,” the French Narrator says.
“Interesting…” Squidward takes out a notepad and writes down some things. “Hey, where even are you?”
The French Narrator reveals himself by opening a trapdoor in the floor.
“How did I not notice that?”
“It’s an old trick I learned around 20 years ago. Now, what’s this about you being a detective?”
“Something seems off about those patties.”
“Zee ones on the table?”
“Yeah, they seem suspicious. I think I need to go investigate. Wait, why are you still here?”
“Oh yeah, I need to go narrate another show. Goodbye now.” The French Narrator disappears under the floorboard.
“Weird guy,” Patrick says. “Also I’m not sure these patties are doing it for me. Needs more spice.”
“No dizziness?”
“Nope. Only an empty stomach. Sad.”
“Why did they make SpongeBob feel dizzy? That’s one thing I don’t know about. Patrick, come with me.”
Squidward and Patrick leave the restaurant.
“Everyone’s gone? WOO-HOO!” SpongeRobert yells. “I CAN BE MYSELF FOR ONCE! I HATE PEOPLE, PEOPLE HATE ME!”
“Ooh, catchy song!” Octoward says.
“D’oh!”
Cut to SpongeBob in the hospital.
“What happened?” he asks.
“You got dizzy after eating a burger,” the doctor says.
“Will I be okay, doc?”
“Nobody really knows at the moment. Just sit tight and recover or something, okay?”
“You’re not a very good doctor.”
The doctor leaves grumbling about his wages.
SpongeBob notices someone else in a hospital bed next to him.
“Hey there. Who’re you?” he asks.
“My name’s Frank. Yours?”
“SpongeBob.”
“Sounds familiar. Oh hey, you’re the old fry cook!”
“Yep. I moved to Fancyland after finding out I’m actually royalty.”
“Lucky. Say, what are you in for? Prabby Katty incident?”
“How did you know?”
“I just assumed we both had one.”
“Well you were right. I wonder why they made us dizzy in the first place.”
“The world may never know.”
“SquarePants, you have visitors.”
Patrick and Squidward show up to visit him.
“Patrick, Squidward, you’re back!”
“You feeling any better, buddy?” Patrick asks.
“Yeah I’m feeling… sOmEwhat better,” SpongeBob answers.
“Uhh… you okay there, buddy?”
SpongeBob starts hiccupping pink bubbles.
“Pink bubbles! That’s the suds!” Patrick says.
“Eureka!” Squidward exclaims.
“Eureka what?” Patrick asks.
“We’re getting closer to solving the mystery. And then I can make a movie about it and make it the top-grossing film of all time!”
“I think your friend is going a bit crazy in the head,” Frank says.
“Maybe he ate a Prabby Katty too.” SpongeBob laughs.
“What? No I didn’t. I’m trying to solve the mystery as to why you’re here in the first place,” Squidward says.
“If you say so, dude,” Frank says.
Squidward starts doing research on the suds on his phone.
“Interesting…” he says to himself. Eventually, his eyes light up. “I got it!”
“What is it, Squidward?” SpongeBob asks.
“Apparently some people like to commit crimes where they put viruses in people’s food.”
“That’s a thing? I thought it was just for compoopters,” Patrick asks.
“Computers, you nincompoop. And yeah,” Squidward says.
“So what does this mean?” SpongeBob asks. “Does it mean someone poisoned my food?”
“Most likely. But the question now is… who?”
“I’ve been poisoned!” SpongeBob screams, and Squidward puts a hand over his mouth.
“Shh! The mystery isn’t solved yet!”
“So how are you going to find the culprit?” SpongeBob asks.
“Well, my first suspect is Crabs Sr.”
Cut to Squidward tying Crabs Sr. around a chair and holding a bright flashlight to his eyes.
“Agh! Where the heck do you richies find such bright flashlights?!” Crabs Sr. says.
“Did you poison the patties, yes or no?” Squidward demands.
“I promise you, it wasn’t me! I swear!”
“Hmm… well I guess it isn’t you.”
“Maybe it was SpongeRobert. He hates his job so much he likes pranking people on the daily!”
“Then it likely is him…”
Cut to the exact same scene, but with SpongeRobert in the chair instead of Crabs.
“I demand an answer, SpongeRobert!”
“Ugh… nrmph!”
“We know you’re a prankster. You did it, didn’t you?”
“Mmph… it wasn’t me! It was him!”
“Who is ‘him’?”
“I’m not allowed to tell you. I just can’t.”
Suddenly, an unknown person with a ski mask breaks into the office.
“Put the money in the bag! PUT IT IN!”
“Uh, you’re facing the wrong way,” Squidward says.
“Oh yeah. Yeah this is awkward. Anyways.”
Cut to both SpongeRobert and Squidward being tightly tied up in chairs.
“Now nobody can see what I’m doing.” The unknown man laughs as he takes off his ski mask. The unknown man is revealed to be BlackJack.
“You look like SpongeBob, but even worse. I mean, what’s up with the hair, man?” Squidward says. 
“Be quiet or I’ll force you to be quiet,” BlackJack threatens.
Cut to SpongeBob in the hospital. A nurse pops in the room.
“You’re free to go, Mr. SquarePants,” she says.
“Woo-hoo!” SpongeBob cheers as he jumps out of the hospital bed and high-fives Patrick.
“Hey, where’d Squidward go?” SpongeBob asks.
“Something about the Rusty Dab, I dunno,” Patrick says.
Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick rushing to the Krusty Krab to see it completely deserted.
“Looks like he’s not here anymore,” SpongeBob says. “Wonder where he is now?”
They hear a tough guy’s voice coming from Crabs’ office.
“Looks like this place isn’t deserted after all,” SpongeBob says as he and Patrick go into the office. They see their friends tied up in chairs, and…
“BlackJack?!”
“SpongeBob?! What the heck are you doing here? You better not get me thrown in jail again!”
“Why did you poison the patties?”
“The patties? Oh yeah, those. You see, I planned this out very carefully.
First, I used rat poison to poison the entire stock of uh.. Naggy Daddies.
Next, I waited for something big to happen. It was a slow day at the Krusty Krab, so when you guys came along I knew I hit the jackpot.
I waited until after you went to the hospital to lurk around in the office and waited to catch anyone trying to figure out what happened. And now I’m gonna rob all you fools for all you’re worth. Including you, SpongeBoy.”
“Um, it’s SpongeBob.”
“Wait, so if SpongeBob passed out from the patty, then why didn’t Patrick?” Squidward asks.
“The rat poison is inside the patty, not the outside, you doofus,” BlackJack says.
“I knew having a giant appetite was gonna be useful one day,” Patrick says.
“Whatever. I’ve always wanted to be a rich Fancyland guy, but I obviously can’t since I’m banned from there for being a criminal. So here I am now, robbing you like taking candy from a-”
A police officer breaks down the door.
“Freeze, criminal!”
BlackJack knocks out the police officer in one punch.
“Heheh, you thought.”
SpongeBob unties SpongeRobert and Squidward, and they all flee, except Patrick.
“Come on, Patrick! Let’s go!” SpongeBob whispers.
“Hold on, I gotta do something real quick!” Patrick whispers back. “Hehe, shiny.”
Patrick steals the expensive phone out of BlackJack’s back pocket and dials the police number. The police instantly arrive and arrest BlackJack with several handcuffs.
“This is giving me flashbacks to when the Tattletale Strangler was arrested,” SpongeBob says. “Yeesh.”
“Trust us, SpongeBob, he won’t get away this time,” a police officer says.
“I’ll be back sooner or later, little man!” BlackJack yells as the police car drives away. “Someday!”
“And that was the end of this episode of Squidward Tentacles: Jazz Detective.”
“Who said that?” SpongeBob asks.
(end)
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