Sanitation Inn Sanity (Rewrite)/transcript

== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: May 12, 2018
Episode Copyrighted: 2017
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob, Squidward, Lincoln and Lori are stuffing a large garbage bag with trash.
Squidward Tentacles: You're just filthy trash! Get in the bag! Filthy trash!
Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: *shoves trash in the bag with SpongeBob and Lincoln, but gets splattered with goop*
Lori Loud: Gah! Trash juice!
Lincoln Loud: Hey, uh, maybe we should use another garbage bag, Mr. Krabs. This one's kinda full.
Mr. Krabs: Forget it, boy-o. I'm not paying for another garbage bag. Just put your back into it.
Lincoln Loud: Back, eh? Like this? *flops myself on the trash with my back*
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, let me help you with that. *jumps on Lincoln and stomps on him in the trash*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* Let me try. *scoops up a blob of trash, throws it in the air and throws my eyes, mouth, nose, arms and legs to form a trash-like body of myself*
Lincoln Loud: Me too.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Lincoln and Lori Loud: *jumps up and down on the trash*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Whee!
Mr. Krabs: Keep it up! It's working! *cackles*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Keeping it up, Mr. Krabs. *jumps really high* Hi-yah! *jumps down really hard on the trash*
Dave the Fish: *gets up from the table after eating my meal, sips down some soda and throws the cup in the garbage bag*
The bag couldn't hold any longer and explodes trash outside of the Krusty Krab. The explosion causes a fountain of trash to cover up all of the city, making it completely filthy. Suddenly, a boat pulls up to the Krusty Krab. The drivers come out and appear to be trash inspectors. They enter the door and look around. One takes off his sunglasses and sighs.
Trash Inspector #1: *speaks through walkie-talkie* Come in, base. We found the trash flingers.
Trash Inspector #2: *grabs a mop and pokes Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: Ow. Ugh? Ugh. Ow.
Trash Inspector #2: *picks up a blob of trash with a stick* Mm-hmm. *sniffs the trash and tastes it* Just as I thought. Trying to save money on trash bags.
Mr. Krabs: I don't know what you're talking about, sir.
Trash Inspector #1: You call us Trash Inspector, not sir! We didn't go to garbage school for nothing!
Trash Inspectors: *shows off our rings* Go Fighting Filthies!
Mr. Krabs: Whatever you sir, inspector.
Trash Inspector #2: What I say is... *puts on a soda can shaped judge wig* You have been found guilty of willful cheapskatery and flagrant trash flinging.
Trash Inspector #1: Your sentence is to collect all the garbage in the city using that. *points to a baby* Uh...that one. *points to a garbage truck*
Mr. Krabs: Whatever you say, inspectorers.
One of the inspector's walkie-talkies buzzes.
Radio Dispatcher: *through walkie-talkie* All units. Code 3-4-2 reported near Bikini Flats.
Trash Inspector #1: Someone's not separating their recycling. Let's ride!
Trash Inspectors: *hops into our boat and drives away*
Mr. Krabs: All right, you heard the inspectors. Get to picking up that trash! *gives Squidward the empty can*
Squidward Tentacles: But it was your punishment. *throws away the empty can*
Mr. Krabs: I like to think of it as our punishment. *hugs SpongeBob, Squidward, Lincoln and Lori* And by ours, I mean yours! *lets them go* Now get going!
Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: *leaves the restaurant with SpongeBob and Lincoln*
Squidward Tentacles: I'm gonna do what you said, but you should know I resent it!
Mr. Krabs: I'm cool with that.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Lincoln and Lori Loud: *climbs onto the garbage truck and begins driving to town*
While Lori is driving the garbage truck, wind blows into SpongeBob's face 
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* Aha! *picks up a bag, throws it in the truck, and crushes it* Uh-huh! *scoops up a blob of trash, throws it in the truck and crushes it* Hoo. Huh! *accidentally throws a kid in the truck* Yo! *grabs the kid before the truck crushes him* That was a close one. *laughs nervously and puts the kid down* See you later, little guy.
Squidward Tentacles: Stupid, smelly garbage truck. *ties my nose in a knot*
He won't smell the odor.
Lincoln Loud: *appears at the driver's window* Hey, Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: *shrieks and steers the truck out of control*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Whee!
Squidward Tentacles: *continues to steer the truck*
He gains full control of it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sighs* Oh, all this fresh air feels great in my holes. *my holes plays the last few notes of the "SpongeBob SquarePants" theme song*
Squidward Tentacles: *hits the break and stops the truck*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *flies into the mirror*
Squidward Tentacles: It's my turn to ride on the back!
Lori Loud: It's my turn! *pushes Squidward out*
Squidward Tentacles: Hey! *sees Leni* Huh?
Leni Loud: Hey Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: *shrieks*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *slides off the mirror and giggles*
Lori Loud: *angrily* I'M RIDING IN THE BACK, LENI! YOU CAN DRIVE!
Leni Loud: *happily* Okay. It's all yours, Lori.
Slide transition cuts to Leni driving the truck.
Lori Loud: *rides on the back, feeling the fresh breeze around me* Hey, this is literally nice. *continues to feel the breeze until the garbage truck begins to go out of control*
The truck knocks over several garbage on the road.
Lori Loud: Leni, watch where you're driving!
Leni Loud: I'm not driving, Lori! You know I don't have a license. It's an auto drive. It can drive the truck itself.
The truck's out-of-control driving bounces Leni up, down, left, and right since Leni wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Meanwhile, Carl, the manager from Selling Out is at a boat sale trying to pick out a boat with some help from the con man.
Carl the Manager: *whistles*
Con Man: You ready for a test drive?
The garbage truck drives over the boat.
Con Man: No problem, we'll try this one.
The garbage truck drives over another boat.
Con Man: Not to worry, we got plenty of—whoa!
The garbage truck drives over all of the remaining boats. The boat stack onto each other and burn up.
Lori Loud: *chokes on one of the tires and spits it out*
Inside the truck, Leni is sitting on the steering wheel, reading a book about responsibility. However, since she's not driving the truck, she nearly runs over Nancy Suzy Fish and Nat Peterson. She crashes into a nearby garbage can and nearly runs over Mrs. Puff. The truck stops and sends Lori flying. Her backpack gets filled with air and floats Lori down like a parachute.
Lori Loud *lands in a pile of trash with Squidward* Ugh!
Lincoln Loud: Wasn't that fun?
Lori Loud: No! Just get me out of this filth heap!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *pulls her out*
She's now covered in filth.
Lori Loud: Ugh, look at me, I'm literally a disgusting mess.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *drops Lori and pulls out a bottle of hand sanitizer from my pocket* Oh, here. Try this hand sanitizer.
Lori Loud: No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, don't—no, no!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *squirts some hand sanitizer on Squidward and Lori's head, while blowing a raspberry*
Lori Loud: I wish you would— *notices how sparkly clean he and I are* Oh, hey, that's not too bad.
Squidward Tentacles: *sighs happily and grabs my hat* Well, now, let's get all this nasty trash in the truck and get out of here. *grabs a can with tongs while holding my nose*
Lori Loud: Ew, ew, ew, ew. *throws the can in the truck* Ew!
Lincoln Loud: *throws a blob of trash in the truck, which splatters some goop from the inside*
Squidward Tentacles: Oh! Watch it!
Lincoln Loud: Sorry, Lori.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hm—ooh! *sees an old baby doll in the trash and picks it up with my eye*
Lincoln Loud: Oh, ho! What a cute little dolly! He can be our truck mascot and ride with us in the cab.
Lori Loud: *takes out the tongs and picks up the doll* Oh, great idea. Why don't I put him up front while you pick up the rest of the trash?
Lincoln Loud: Thank you, Lori.
Lori Loud: *enters the truck, throws the doll near the window and lazily rests*
Doll: I wanna have fun.
Lori Loud: Huh? *pokes the doll*
Doll: I wanna get good grades.
Lori Loud: Well, you should stop saying wanna, then.
Doll: *turns my head* I wanna destroy you.
Lori Loud: What the— *shrieks, then panics inside the truck, throws the doll out and runs away*
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *throws four more garbage bags in the truck and crushes them*
Squidward Tentacles: That doll's possessed!
Squidward's outburst startles SpongeBob and Lincoln.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *falls into the truck and gets crushed by the masher inside*
They come out looking like the letter "U".
Lincoln Loud: That was awesome! You gotta try it!
Squidward Tentacles: Forget it, you nitwit! There's no way I'm getting in the back of that filth wagon!
They ironically fall in the truck and gets crushed by the masher as well.
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, my internal organs!
Lori Loud: My heart!
The masher crushes Squidward and Lori again.
Leni Loud: *pulls them out as he looks like the letter "T"* Hey, it's a puzzle.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *giggles* Hey, look.
Leni Loud: *puts  Squidward and Lori onto SpongeBob and Lincoln's U-shaped body* See, it fits!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs and shakes around*
Leni Loud: Isn't this great, guys?
Squidward Tentacles: Please let this nightmare end.
Lori Loud: This is literally hopeless.
The slide transition cuts to Lincoln picking up trash with the truck's mechanic arms. He picks up two blobs of trash and puts them in the truck. However, he grabs Squidward and uses him as a dustpan to brush up the remaining trash in a dust pan. The slide transition cuts to Lincoln throwing trash in the garbage bag. But he somehow threw trash in Squidward and Lori's face as he holds the bag.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Lincoln, Lori and Leni: *throws more trash bags in the truck. They continue to do their garbage men duty until the entire town is sparkly clean.
Lincoln Loud: We did a good job. The city looks so clean now.
Squidward Tentacles: Just one more house, and I can finally say good-bye to this trash life. Let's get these in the truck and get out of here.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Lincoln, Lori and Leni Loud: *picks up five garbage cans near Patrick's house and attempts to carry them to the truck.
But Patrick comes out and is really angry.
Patrick Star: Hey! Get away from my stuff!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, this isn't stuff, Patrick. It's trash, and it needs to be thrown into the trash truck.
Patrick Star: No, it's mine! *grabs the garbage can and growls and barks like a dog*
Squidward Tentacles: *picks up a stick and throws it* Fetch!
Patrick Star: *runs off to fetch the stick, then grabs the stick and chews on it like a dog*
Leni Loud: Ooh, that looks totes fun!
Lori Loud: Forget about the stick, and help us get these cans in the truck.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Lincoln, Lori and Leni Loud *picks up the garbage cans again and attempt to take them to the truck*
Patrick Star: *notices them and spits out the stick* Hm? Patooie! You betrayed me, stick! *runs up to Squidward and Lori and tries to take the garbage can back*
Lori Loud: Let go! Leni, help us!
Leni Loud: *throws the other can and goes to help Squidward and Lori*
Squidward Tentacles: Hold on, Leni!
Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: *runs back into the truck and grabs the garbage can with the mechanical arm*
Leni Loud: Oh!
Squidward Tentacles: *tries with all my might to make Patrick let go of the garbage can*
Patrick Star: Get your hands off my can! *rips the mechanical arm off the truck*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *with sand all over my face* Wow, Patrick. You must be working out.
Patrick Star: Yeah, the gym membership you got me is really paying off.
Squidward Tentacles: Stop consorting with the enemy!
SpongeBob Tentacles: Oh, he's not an enemy, Squidward. He's my best friend. Besides you. *kisses Lori in the nose* Muah.
Lori Loud: Ew.
Lincoln Loud: You know, maybe we should just let Patrick keep his garbage.
Squidward Tentacles: No! The trash inspector said we had to collect all the town's trash and that is what we are going to do!
Patrick Star: *appears in his garbage can-like battle suit* Nobody touches my trash!
Lori Loud: So, that's how you wanna play it.
Squidward Tentacles: *grabs SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni and drags them to the truck* It's time to take Patrick to the dump. *throws SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni in the truck
Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: climbs in*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ooh, Squidward, you sound so tough.
Squidward Tentacles: Engaging battle mode!
Lori Loud: Oh, it's on! *pushes the battle mode button*
Squidward Tentacles: Hah!
The truck comes to life and forms into a giant, fighting robot that is similar to the robots from the "Transformers" franchise.
Patrick Star: Uh-oh.
The robot lands on the ground in battle mode.
Squidward Tentacles: This is your last chance! Give us your garbage, or you're the one who'll be trashed!
Patrick Star: Hah, o-oh yeah, well, you're just— uh— fight!
Patrick Star, Squidward Tentacles, SpongeBob SquarePants, Lori, Leni and Lincoln: *begins our battle*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Lincoln, Lori and Leni Loud: *starts off with a single punch, which splatters trash on Patrick's house*
Patrick Star: *punches them back and splatters trash onto Squidward's house, then grabs them and spins them around while splattering trash all over the place.
Meanwhile, at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs lazily sips down a soda.
Mr. Krabs: Ah. *throws away the cup* Picking up trash sure is hard work. *cackles just as a shadow looms over me* Uh-oh. *gets myself covered in trash and the Krusty Krab is filthy again*
SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick continue their battle.
Squidward Tentacles: Just give us your trash!
Patrick Star: No! It's mine, and I love it!
Squidward Tentacles: Give it!
Patrick Star: Never!
Lori Loud: Patrick, give it what Squidward says!
Patrick Star: Never!
Lori Loud: *fires a blob of trash from the robot's hand*
But Patrick uses the garbage can lid to deflect the attack. Moments later, Mr. Krabs arrives at the scene of the commotion.
Mr. Krabs: Knock it off! You ignoramuses are ruining all me hard work!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Patrick Star, Lincoln, Lori and Leni Loud: What?!
Squidward Tentacles: Your hard work?! We've been dumped in the trash all day and it's your fault! *turns the robot around and drops a blob of trash onto Mr. Krabs*
Mr. Krabs: *pops out from the goop and spits out some trash*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Trash fight!
SpongeBob and Squidward throws a blob of trash at Mr. Krabs. But Mr. Krabs ducks and it lands in Patrick's mouth. Patrick eats the trash and gets splattered.
Patrick Star: Hey!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Squidward Tentacles, Mr. Krabs, Lincoln, Lori and Leni Loud: *throws a massive amount of garbage at each other*
Their fight causes Bikini Bottom to become filthy and dirty again. Suddenly, the trash inspectors arrive and they're not very happy.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Mr. Krabs, Patrick Star, Lincoln, Lori and Leni Loud: Uh-oh.
One of the trash inspectors crushes his sunglasses. The slide transition cuts to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Lincoln, Lori and Leni doing community service by cleaning up the mess they made from their fight. Although, Patrick is not seen helping them with their punishment. Just then, a boat pulls over and the doll throws an empty soda cup onto Squidward and Lori's head.
Doll: Wanna pick that up? *giggles as the doll drives away and SpongeBob waves good-bye*
Squidward Tentacles: I hate that doll.
Screen cuts in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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