Smut 101

Smut 101 is the second episode of SBFW College.
==Plot==
Jess opens up a CEX in the college, which Paige comes to like; Ally teaches her class how to write smut fanfiction; Jess and Pluto start dating.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with the school bell ringing)
Ally: Alright class, it's finally time you learn how to write some fanfiction.
Forest: I’m a bit of an expert at writing fanfiction! Especially when it’s about people crying like a baby.
Daddy Pig: Hey, that’s my line!
Forest: YOU WRITE FANFICTION ABOUT PATRICK CRYING LIKE A BABY TOO?!
Daddy Pig: No I-
Liz: Why is Daddy Pig taking a writing class anyway?
Daddy Pig: Look, I was late on orientation day and all the good classes were taken.
Ally: Are you saying my class isn’t good?!
Daddy Pig: That’s not what I-
Ally: Daddy Pig, if you’re not going to be taking this class seriously I suggest you leave.
Daddy Pig: (sighs) Sorry miss.
Ally: Good. Now, where were we?
Liz: Um… fanfiction?
Ally: Right.
(Ally presses a button on a remote and the powerpoint on the board changes to an image of a corpse)
Ally: Who can tell me what this is?
Paige: THE QUEEN!
Ally: Close enough. This right here is the essence of all fanfiction you guys should write today. I call it… smut fanfiction.
Daddy Pig: Uhh, I dunno about this. This seems very immoral.
Ally: I don’t care! You must do as I say, as I am the professor! NECROPHILIA IS THE ALLY WAY!
Granite: Just like PEDOPHILIA ISN’T THE GRANITE WAY!
(The class turns silent for a few seconds)
Granite: Uh, who wants to join my Show Stoppers club?
(More silence, then someone throws a paper plane in his eyeball, blinding him)
Granite: FUCK!
Ally: Alright, enough horseplay, and more corpseplay. I will show you an example of what smut fanfiction is all about.
(Ally goes into her files and pulls out the Mr. Krabs Fucks Corpses episode from NKC)
Ally: Oh yeah this is the good shit right here.
Liz: Something tells me this isn’t how all fanfiction is written…
Ally: Shut up! Or I’ll have to spam images of JCM in your college email!
Liz: …why him?
Ally: IT’S ALL I GOT, OKAY? I LOST MY OLD GOOGLE ACCOUNT!
Liz: Okay…
Ally: Now then, let me narrate this masterpiece.
(One smut fanfiction later…)
Ally: “-and they all lived happily ever after. The end.”
Daddy Pig: I mean I don’t think the corpse lived happily ever after.
Ally: PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE! NOW!
(Daddy Pig shamefully stands up and slowly walks out of the classroom)
Granite: Um… miss?
Ally: Yes, Granite?
Granite: I don’t really understand. Mr. Krabs had sex with what now?
Ally: Ugh. You people need to understand that the secret to writing good fanfiction is smut. The more sexually degenerate it is, the better.
Forest: Um when I signed up for this class, the description never said anything about there being… you know, (whispers) porn.
(Dan bursts through the fucking wall)
Dan: DID SOMEONE SAY PORN?
Ally: Dan, if you’re gonna arrive to class late can you at least do it discreetly?
Dan: Sorry, miss. 
Ally: Apology accepted. Now as I was saying-
(Ally gets a notification on her phone; she pulls it out and looks excitedly at the screen)
Ally: OH MY GOD THERE’S A MORBIUS 4K ULTRA HD BLU-RAY!
Granite: Forget Morbius! Chip and Dale Sweep!
Ally: Shut up nerd, you probably look like this: 🤓 
Granite: I DO NOT!
(A close-up shot of Granite looking like the nerd emoji is shown)
Granite: Okay okay, you got me.
Ally: Anyway, gotta go buy the new Morbius! Toodles!
(Ally makes a mad dash for the emergency exit)
Dan: She knows that’s gonna sound off, right?
(It sounds off)
Ally: (off-screen) GOD FUCKING FUCK!
(Cut to everyone learning to write smut)
Liz: I don't get it, does it always have to be necrophilia?
Granite: I'm okay with it as long as it's either MLP or Hitler necrophilia.
Liz: You have some problems to work out, dude.
Granite: Ma’am, Hitler was a good person.
Pluto: (from off-screen) God fucking dammit.
(Meanwhile…)
(Jess is in her dorm room, dressed up as Rouge the Bat)
Jess: UwU! I'm a furry now!
(She takes off the head)
Jess: Man, this isn't very fun, especially alone in a dark room. I need to find something more interesting to do. 
[The makers of this programme would like to clarify that for legal reasons Jessica is NOT a furry.]
(She fully takes off the costume)
Jess: Hmm… should I strip naked in the hallway? No, too risky. Although maybe I would look pretty sexy… sexy… CEX… THAT’S IT! CEX IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING! Sorry, Scott the Woz.
(Meanwhile, in Newer Location McGee, Ohio…)
Scott the Woz: None taken.
(Back to SBFW College)
Jess: This college needs its own CEX! And I’m going to deliver it to them! There's just one problem though… I don't know how to run a CEX…
(Jess rubs her nonexistent chin hairs)
Jess: I'll just use YouTube, they have all the tutorial videos you need. You could even hide a body using YouTube… not that I'd ever need to.
(She turns on her phone and goes onto YouTube)
Morgz Mum: MORGAN! It's not about the size, it's about how you use it.
Jess: Oops, wrong video.
(She opens another video)
Random entrepreneur: AYO WHAT’S UP GUYS! ITS YA BOY, SKINNY PENIS BACK AT IT AGAIN, TODAY I’M GONNA SHOW YOU HAVE TO RUN YOUR OWN CEX STORE! BUT BEFORE WE BEGIN-
Jess: Boring.
(She skips ahead in the video. Two hours later, it cuts to her opening up her very own CEX right next to the college cafeteria)
Jess: I can't believe I actually did it, I built my own CEX business! With my own two hands. Don't take that the wrong way.
Dan: OH BABY
Jess: Never mind, here comes a potential customer.
Dan: Does this sign say… SEX?
Jess: No sir, it says CEX.
Dan: Same thing, different day.
Jess: Whatever. So do you want to buy something? Maybe Madden 22? We have plenty of those. Believe me…
Dan: Do you sell.. LIFE IN BIKINI BOTTOM DILDOS??
Jess: Well we don't own the rights to sell those, so not really.
Dan: Phooey..
Jess: Anything else I can do for you?
Dan: Yeah, can you take your shirt off or something? I'm kinda bored.
Jess: …
Dan: Is that a yes?
(Cut back to Ally’s classroom, where everyone is struggling to write smut)
Forest: I don't get it, why do these have to have so many bad words in them? That's not how I do it!
Granite: I still can’t believe she told me to rewrite my Nazi Twilight Sparkle bimbofication erotica..
Ally: ENOUGH! Now, I still expect all of you to finish your smut by TONIGHT. Understand?
Class: Ughhhhh.
Ally: Good! Now, I must be going on, I shall be trolling the forums.
(She gets onto her laptop and starts getting a zany look on her face as she trolls Fandom staff)
Ally: Oh yeah baby, now this is what I live life for.
(Dan bursts through the wall)
Dan: GUESS WHO’S BACK, WHORES?
Ally: Second warning, Daniel, now sit down and write smut.
Dan: Aww…
[cuts to Pluto and Liz]
Pluto: This is bullshit, we should sneak away.
Liz: Where to, though? 
Pluto: Away from the English building, that’s for sure.
Liz: Should we go to the French building?
Pluto: That’s too Frenchy. How about the cafeteria?
Liz: Works for me. I'm a bit hungry myself.
Pluto: We need a distraction. [turns to Ace] Hey Ace, I have 10 dollars. Go disturb the class.
Ace: I'll do my best.
(Ace takes a deep breath)
Ace: WHO WANTS TO SEE MY GORILLAZ PORN COLLECTION?!
Pluto: Now.
(Pluto and Liz sneak out.)
Ally: I don’t think they were aware I could hear them the whole time. That’s minus a point for no Kirkburn reference.
Dan: Now what's this about porn?
(Cut to Pluto and Liz in the cafeteria, eating whatever they usually eat)
Pluto: Did you see that CEX shop next to this place?
Liz: I did. I wonder who runs it?
Pluto: Only one way to find out.
Paige: A CEX? OH BOY!
(They all get up from their seats and take a look at the CEX)
Jess: Oh boy, more customers! Hey there fellow students, what can I get for you today?
Paige: Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz UHD, do you have it?
Jess: Erm, that doesn't come out until 2023.
Paige: So the CEX website lied to me. GAH! (storms out)
Pluto: (looking at Jess) Say, aren’t you the chick who shares a dorm with me?
Jess: Chick who… yeah I am. I'll give you the roommate discount.
Pluto: Cool. I have no idea what I'd even want from here though. You got Sponge CDs?
Jess: Ummm, I can check in the back.
Pluto: Okay, thanks. Liz, you want anything?
Liz: Unless they have estrogen pills, no.
Jess: This is a CEX, not a pharmacy.
Pluto: I think Jack Bradley might have some pills.
Liz: I'm not taking whatever heroin bullshit he’s having.
Pluto: Jasbre’s your best bet then.
Jess: Okay it seems there are no Sponge… anything in stock.
Pluto: Damn it. What now?
Jess: Wanna go back to our dorm and, y’know… hang out?
Pluto: Sure, why not.
Liz: Hey what about me?
Pluto: You can suck a girl dick for all I care.
Liz: Well that's not very nice.
Pluto: (whispering to Liz) Look, motherfucker, I might not turn this one lesbian for once. Let me have this moment and when she does inevitably turn lesbian in three weeks, you know where to find me.
Liz: Okay, if you say so.
(Cuts to Pluto and Jess walking)
Pluto: So is this like a date or something?
Jess: Well… it can be… if you want.
Pluto: Okay, cool. Wait, what’d you mean by that?
Jess: Okay, it's a date now.
Pluto: Awesome.
(Cut to Pluto and Jess in their dorm room, closing the door behind them)
Pluto: Alright, now where do we start?
Jess: (pointing to her Rouge the Bat costume) I think I have an idea.
Pluto: I don't like where this is going. 
Jess: (already in costume) But I do.
Pluto: What? (Looks down) Fuck…
(One hour of furry roleplay later…)
Pluto: Well if there's one thing I learned, it's that I am most definitely NOT a furry.
Jess: Hey I'm not one either.
Pluto: Sure. Although I don't think that was the worst thing I've ever experienced. That's not really saying much.
Jess: So… are we like, together now?
Pluto: If we never have to go through that again, then sure.
Jess: Fine…
Pluto: Phew.
Jess: Say, I heard some of the college kids had to write smut today.
Pluto: We recreated smut today, it wasn’t much better.
(Jess frowns)
Pluto: So anyway, I think it's well past our bedtime.
Jess: Love, we're in college now, we don't have a bedtime.
Pluto: Well then I just want to sleep. Goodnight.
Jess: Wait for me!
Pluto: Oh so we're sleeping together, interesting.
Jess: We’re together, we kinda have to by the laws of physics.
Pluto: Um, okay then. 
(Jess and Pluto are seen in the same bed together)
Pluto: Nighty night.
Jess: Don't let the furries bite! Rawr!
(Jess turns off the lights)
Pluto: Oh boy… This is gonna be one helluva relationship.
(The episode ends)
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