Vern Harrison

Vern Harrison is a character played by Moosebrother.
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"A gentleman, but rough around the edges." — Unknown Doctor
==General Information==
"You just like turning everything into an innuendo, don't you?" — Phoebe Finch
Vern Harrison is an exceptionally horny fuckboy who will rizz up anything that moves.
Vern is self-interested and confident to the point of arrogance, but his charm and quick wit frequently outweigh the negative effects of his ego. Those around him frequently experience a strange mix of repulsion but undeniable, magnetic attraction, though some are immune to his allure. Using his silver tongue, Vern tries his best to talk his way out of consequences that come his way, from arrests to robberies.
Vern formerly worked as a freelance tow truck driver, towing cars extremely legallyhttps://clips.twitch.tv/BloodyPreciousHummingbirdThisIsSparta-9j9axoE3S-h-vl75, before a breakdown in relations between himself and Steele Impound & Parking workers resulted in his abandoning the profession. He now makes his living from selling weed very subtlyhttps://clips.twitch.tv/EmpathicYummyGuanacoLitFam-Imz1aavivpy-dmVP, dealing stolen weapons, breaking into cars, and robbing houses.
Vern has an ad up in the public directory advising readers that he can get them anything they want. He receives calls from strangers with requests ranging from gun purchases to niche jobs and networking. He is quick to emphasise in his dealings that he does his business transparently, offering those who purchase weapons full information on their history and how much trouble buyers could get in if they were found carrying them.
In an effort to protect himself, Vern gives 'code words' to strangers who promise to keep in touch after getting in contact with him via the directory. He assigns each individual a different word, usually a colour (lavender, tangerine, etc.), and directs them to repeat the term to others if they spread his contact information, intending on using that info to track the flow of knowledge and find out where the issue came from if somebody flips on him.
Despite the stereotypes associated with his huge ego and confident flirtation, Vern does very much care about consent and sexual safety, as he gets frequent STI tests (before and after every partner) and makes sure those he approaches are interestedhttps://clips.twitch.tv/AmorphousRepleteWerewolfBudBlast-vHTb0m0PpQE-rQFb.
He has a penchant for sexual humour, reaching for suggestive puns, double entendres, and other forms of innuendo in his attempts to woo almost anyone who'll listen.
"I wanna know who raised him. Where are your parents, young man?" — Quimbley Hayabusa
==Physical Description==
Vern is a slim, fit white guy with stubble and light blue eyes. His mess of short, brown hair is trimmed in almost a bowl-cut shape on top with a tight fade on the back and sides. He has several straight lines shaved into his right eyebrow. Vern microdoses steroids and HGH to maintain his physiquehttps://clips.twitch.tv/IronicFrozenCockroachDendiFace-feFIHhXj51I_ZN-D; a technique he learned from Joe Rogan. He likes to show off his muscles to random members of the public, referring to his arms as "the pythons"https://clips.twitch.tv/ShyBreakableChipmunkDxAbomb-hjnyxXC6R5VKCU91.
(In thick Russian accent) "You look like TikToker" — Masked Robber
Vern arrived in the city wearing a bright pink bomber jacket over a graphic t-shirt, gray jeans with paint splatter details, and sand-colored workboots. The t-shirt pictured a glow-in-the-dark phallic "rocket shop" and mystery liquid shooting towards his face.
After being taken to the clothing store by Mira Whana, he ventured out into the world with a new outfit: a white graphic "moon festival" tee (also glow-in-the-dark), blue jeans, and a pair of white and beige sneakers. His newly adopted sister Mira matched his look, swapping out the jeans for jean shorts.
Vern is often seen going about his business shirtless and likes to show off his physique. He generally puts on a shirt (usually a colorful hoodie) and a mask when he may be seen and identified committing crimes, and switches the specific clothing items out when they've been seen by police.
"Vern, why are you not ever wearing a shirt?" — Quimbley Hayabusa
==Background Information==
Vern was a "bunker kid" - he went into the bunkers when he was 18 years old and emerged 7 years later after the nuclear event settled enough for life to begin again in the state of San Andreas. He says he spent the "best years of [his] life" in the bunker - presumably because, according to Vern, they didn't take any sex toys down with them and so many of his peers came directly to him for their sexual needs and entertainment.
Contrary to him sometimes referring to Vault/Bunker life as his old good days he has also multiple times discussed past problems within the Bunkers. In the Bunker, which he sometimes also refers to as a Vault, there was an appointed leader known as a "Governor". This Governor was considered overbearing and tyrannical by those in the Bunker, however there was nothing they could do about this except talk about them behind their back.
In the Bunker he developed a friendship with another man named Daniel Wright who would go on to be considered his "best friend" and the only person he's met on the surface that was in the Bunker with him. Daniel, who goes more often by Danny, has a very similar personality albeit much more overbearing with his flaws much more obvious. Despite this due to their history together Vern sticks with Danny as much as he can even when people are commenting on Danny's flaws to him.
==Relationships==
Vern is a keen flirt, taking time out of his day to drop cheeky lines on those he deems worthy of his attention.
"Seems like a ladies man, huh?" — Phoebe Finch
"He very much is a ladies man." — Maya Mahmoud
Vern has been accused of hitting on anything with a pulse, which he strongly denies, citing his "standards". The criteria he claims to have for his many hookup partners includes the following:
* be consenting
* be "at least hot"
* be human
* laugh at the things he says
* not have shot him
* not already be taken (doesn't like doing the "cheating thing")
"I think that your penis is gonna get you into a lot of trouble." — Daisy Bennett
==Trivia & Quotes==
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==Gallery==
==References==