Deadpool (TV series)/Merc With A Mouth, Part 1

S1E1 - Merc With A Mouth, Part 1
[Episode begins with Deadpool in a helicopter]
Deadpool: Okay, I got to my objective I'm going to drop off now!
Deadpool jumps out of the helicopter without a parachute.
Deadpool: That was a safe landing.
Voice #1: Wait, who is piloting the helicopter then?
Deadpool: Uh, I thought it had auto-pilot system.
The helicopter drops on the water.
Deadpool: Uh, I guess helicopters do have a sense of comedy.
Voice #1: Congratulations, now you don't have any way to return.
Deadpool: Where are we again?
Voice #1: Bolivia.
The camera pans out to show the entire city where they are in while the French national anthem plays.
Voice #1: Wrong anthem.
Record needle scratch as it changes to the Bolivian national anthem.
Voice #2: Weren't we supposed to steal the weapons that those insane bums were asking to us?
Deadpool: Oh, yeah. But I forgot where they are.
A big flashing sign saying "WEAPONS THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. NOT A TRAP." appears.
Voice #1: We can add big flashing signs into the list of things that have a sense of comedy that we didn't knew about.
Deadpool: So we go in the direction of the sign?
Voice #2: Sure, after all, the sign did said that it wasn't a trap.
Deadpool: Sounds good to me.
[Deadpool enters the warehouse where the sign was pointing at]
Cops: Stop right there!
Deadpool: It's a trap!
Voice #1: Clearly nobody could ever see this coming.
Voice #2: What a twist!
Voice #1: Shut up.
Deadpool: Oh, it is just a bunch of cops I can deal with them.
[Deadpool pulls out his guns and shoots the cops]
Deadpool: I was expecting something more difficult.
[A giant robot called the Cop-A-Tron 3000 falls from the ceiling]
Deadpool: Ok, now this is just dumb.
Voice #1: Says you.
Deadpool: Shut up, voice... in my head... Wow, I just realized how dumb that was.
Voice #1: Hey, don't call me dumb.
Deadpool: Let's dance, robot.
[Deadpool pulls out his twin katanas and manages to destroy the robot.]
Voice #1: You know, this time I think you should stay quiet because if you might say something something even bigger might appear.
Deadpool: Like what?
[T-Ray appears]
Voice #1: Oh goddamn it.
T-Ray: We meet again, Deadpool.
Deadpool: T-Ray! I remember you! I'm just saying this so that we can have a flashback to explain your backstory!
[Flashback transition]
Deadpool: You were one of the members of the Hellh-
[Goes back to the real time]
Deadpool: You know what, let's just fight instead of this flashback bullshit.
Voice #1: This is the first time you said something that I agree with.
[Deadpool and T-Ray fights, after a few minutes, T-Ray disappears]
Deadpool: Uh, that was weird.
Voice #1: Totally not plot relevant.
Voice #2: Like, yes, that's completely what people came here for. Plot.
Voice #1: Hey, I am the sane voice here don't steal my role.
Deadpool: Stop fighting voices in my head... This is getting more awkward than last time. Anyway, let's grab this crate.
Voice #1: Why that crate?
Deadpool: Because I like it's color.
Voice #1: It is the same as the other-
Deadpool: Shut up, now let's go to... Alaska!
[Transition]
Voice #1: Why are in Alaska again?
Deadpool: I don't know.
Voice #1: How did we even got here?
Deadpool: Magic.
Voice #1: Let's just go back to Canada.
Deadpool: Sure.
[Transition]
Voice #1: This makes me wonder why did we ever need that helicopter in the first place?
Deadpool: Sheesh, you and your observations making life unfun since the scientists said that fast food is bad.
Voice #1: But they are.
Deadpool: Shut up.
Category:Deadpool (TV series) Episodes
Category:Deadpool (TV series) Season One