Wizard 5

Chapter 5
Richard and Kahlan decide to spend the night under a wayward pine, which is a droopy-branched tree with a perfect shelter area around its trunk. We learn that the Fish came from D'Hara, a land known for its arbitrary capitalization and random apostrophes. I'm not sure what letter or letters the apostrophe is replacing; perhaps “umb.” It's also unclear why the H is capitalized. Finally, I have no clue how to pronounce this word – is it Duh-Hara? Dhara? Deh-Hara? \~/
Apparently there was once a boundary between the Midlands and D'Hara, but that it has been gone since the spring (it's currently autumn, which has been mentioned...kudos to Goodkind for actually depicting the seasons).
More uninteresting stuff about Michael. Richard makes soup. Then we get an infodump.
D'Hara and the Midlands were both loose confederations of kingdoms (one more oddly-named than the other). An evil warlord named Panis Rahl conquered all the D'Haran lands, “many times before the ink was dry on a peace treaty.” Having conquered all of D'Hara, Penis Rahl – oops, how could I have made such a silly mistake? – Panis Rahl attacked the Midlands. Oddly enough, the “loose confederation of free lands” managed to defeat the unified armies of D'Hara. Anyway, Rahl turned to magic (one wonders why he didn't use magic earlier...surely it would have been easier than sending his soldiers off to die). His worst weapon was the “shadow people,” which were basically living shadows, immune to all attacks, that killed with a touch and in a particularly gruesome way.
A “great and honorable wizard” joined the war on the Midlands' side. Am I wrong, or does that phrase sound vaguely Japanese? “Heroic wizard,” or maybe “great and noble wizard” sound more generically Western, but “great and honorable wizard” has a definite Oriental ring to my Occidental ears.
Anyway, the nameless (plot point!) wizard conjured up magical horns that destroyed the shadow people, then raised the boundaries between D'Hara and the Midlands, and the Midlands and the Westland. The Westland, it develops, is the land without magic, founded by Midlanders who wanted nothing further to do with magic. So...I guess no one else was living there? Or were they original Native Westlanders swept aside before Manifest Destiny? Killed by Phallus Rahl? We're not told, \~/
The boundaries aren't magic themselves. Instead, they're the underworld, the realm of the dead, suspended in the world of the living. They're compared to a curtain, and also to the “sheets of cold fire...in the northern sky.” Entering the boundary = entering the realm of the dead, and no one can return from death. I'm not entirely sure that works, but it certainly sounds poetic.
Kahlan remembers passing through the boundary and seeing her dead mother and sister. She starts to have a panic attack. So Richard meditates her back to her senses. He “shut his fear away, blocked off the panic, and sought the calm within himself.” He then visualizes sending his strength into her, and this somehow brings Kahlan back to sanity.
Kahlan asks Richard how he can “ask questions that fill my mind with pictures and make me answer, even when I have no intention to?” Which is a darn good question, even if that wasn't what he was doing. In fact, Richard didn't ask Kahlan one question; instead, he repeated phrases like “I am here,” and “I won't leave you.” So...that makes no sense. \~/ But regardless, Richard doesn't know. He says, “It's just something I was born with. Sometimes I think it's a curse.” Which makes no sense, since it appears to be extremely useful and totally under Richard's control. But of course, the hero's Special Powers have to be curses, so he can angst about them and we can laugh at – I mean, sympathize with him.
More infodumping. Genital Rahl sent a quad that killed Nameless Wizard's wife and daughter. Nameless Wizard threw a fireball back at Rahl just as the boundary went up, presumably killing him. The Midlands, astoundingly, began playing political games with magic and wizards. Nameless Wizard left and cast a “wizard's web,” which is apparently an amnesia spell on a massive scale, which is why no one remembers his name.
Wouldn't it have been easier just to change his name and appearance? I mean, he's a wizard. If he can make three entire COUNTRIES forget his name, surely he has some appearance-altering spells. Call himself Steve the Plain, and there you go. Much easier, much simpler. Less dramatic, though. \~/
Anyway...the Darken Rahl movement started last winter. Darken Rahl is the son of Panis Rahl, and he's lauded as the greatest man of peace ever to live. The boundary came down, and the People's Peace Army came marching out of D'Hara. First of all, “Peace Army?” \~/ Also, this title reminds me an awful lot of the People's Liberation Army of China, which is less silly in that armies and liberation actually sometimes have something to do with each other. Now I'm thinking of Our Beloved Chairman Rahl. If this wasn't intentional, it's a pretty galling mistake...and if it was intentional, it's about as subtle as a ham to the face.
Darken Rahl outlawed magic, and then fire. \~/
How the hell do you outlaw fire? And why? People need fire. It's pretty central to civilization.
And who else have we met that's been saying bad stuff about fire? Hmm...
So five of the Midlands' wizards realized that Rahl was evil (the “no magic” law would seem to be a rather large tip-off, for a wizard anyway) and decided to seek redemption by finding Nameless Wizard. They traced him to the Westland and then heroically committed suicide.
We learn that Zedd is a cloud reader, but that reading clouds isn't magic. “Finding lost people is what a cloud reader does,” to quote Richard. It sounds like a rather obscure and specific profession.
Blah blah. Kahlan has a night wisp named Shar in a bottle. Night wisps are creatures of magic that apparently look like tiny flares of silver light (and live in bottles). Shar helped Kahlan pass through the boundary, but she's dying and lacks the strength to return. She sacrificed her life to get Kahlan through so Kahlan can find the Nameless Wizard and make everything okay. It's all very emotional and touching...or would be, if we had been introduced to Shar earlier. As it is, Shar appears and dies almost immediately to provide some pathos. Which is lame.
Shar speaks cryptically to Richard and tells him that Darken Rahl is hunting Richard and Kahlan. If he is not stopped by the first day of winter, all the night wisps will die, as will Richard and Kahlan. Then Richard leaves to give Shar and Kahlan privacy. Kahlan is apparently the Mother Confessor, which makes me imagine her in a nun's habit. She is the last of her kind. She must find a mate.
My mind vampire hypothesis is looking better and better.
Shar is dying, and she asks Kahlan to touch her. -_0
Kahan says no and cries and trembles. Shar insists. Shar wants Kahlan to use her power and “let [Shar] drink in the sweet agony” and “die with the taste of love.”
Kahlan touches and does the SOMETHING again, and Shar changes from silver to pink, and then dies.
...
I got nothing. \~/
Drinks: 7
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