Midnight Towboy/Quotes

:(Bart uses an exact-o knife to extract the word “whore” from the Bible and he pins it up on his bulletin board along with a few others.)
:Bart: We can say these swears anytime we want because they’re in the Bible!
:Milhouse: I don’t think “Leviticus” is a swear.
:Bart: Shut the hell up, you damn ass whore!
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:Homer: When you married a man who would years later, without warning, become a tow-truck driver, you knew what the deal would eventually be.
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:Carl: It sure is nice not having Homer around to tell us where we can and can't park.
:Lenny: Yeah. Without the crushing rule of law, society will do a better job of regulating itself.
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:Bed Time Krusty Doll: Don't let the bed bugs bite! Krusty's anti-bed bug spray sold separately; may contain poison.
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:(Homer celebrates his new job, while at Moe’s.)
:Homer: I’ve got tow dough I’m lookin’ to blow, Moe.
:(Homer spreads some money on the bar.)
:Moe: Huh?
:Homer: I’m buying a round of the fanciest drink you got.
:Moe: Four “Lobster-politans” comin’ up.
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:Ned Flanders: Top of the mornin', Tow-mer.
:Homer: It's Homer, idiot.
:Ned Flanders: (Chuckles) So it is. I'm just here to pay the fine for the Sunday School bus. You towed it with the kids still in it.
:Homer: (Chuckles) I guess I'm more powerful than God now.
:Ned Flanders: You know what they say: "With great power comes great responsibility."
:Homer: Who said that? I'll kill them with my power!
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:Marge: Bart, I’m starting to worry about your father.
:Bart: Well, I know he seems to get dumber every year, but lately he’s plateaued.
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:(Maggie is using scissors to cut a bit of her hair off and put it in a scrapbook)
:Marge: Oh, Maggie is getting so independent. At least you still need me, sack of potatoes. (Starts to cry)
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:Lisa: There must be a Web site that can help you deal with a clingy baby.
:Marge: Oh, I don't want to bother the Internet with my problems.
:Homer:  Oh, my God multiple tickets, handicapped spot, parked by a hydrant, incomprehensible vanity plate. If my life as a tow truck driver were a teleplay, this will be the end of the second act.
:Louie: I thought I told you to stay off my turf.
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