(Alex) Schmidt Happens

(Alex) Schmidt Happens is the third episode in season two of Tayshaun & Amy - The Other Side. It was written by and and first aired in June 2016.
==Synopsis==
Alex struggles to get over Matt and decides to go back to the Fantendoverse to meet him again.
==Transcript==
The episode starts out with Alex being seen near the Special Ops house.
:Alex: I just hope he still feels the same.
Alex walks over to the house cautiously and rings the doorbell, hoping for Matt to answer, but gets Danielle at the door instead.
:Danielle: Hey. Oh yeah....you're uh....Alex?
:Alex: Ja.
:Danielle: I assume you're here for Matt.
:Alex: Yes.
:Danielle: I'm sure he'll be estatic. Come in.
Alex walks in and goes through to the living room to see Matt.
:Matt: Alex?
:Alex: Hey.
She gives him a wink.
:Tommy: Wow.
The others show themselves out.
:Alex: I couldn't get you outta my head and I really wanna be with you. There was something about that night that made me fall in love with you and I don't know what it is.
:Matt: Uh....okay.
Matt sits down.
:Alex: It may have been to do with the jokes, it may have been to do with the magic. I don't know precisely but I found you really attractive that night and I was glad I did what I did.
:Matt: I'm glad that that happened too but....this is a lot to take in.
:Alex: Don't worry, I understand. I brought this up out of nowhere and if it chases you away, I'll understand.
:Matt: I'm just....surprised. Y'know?
:Alex: You not used to girls saying they like you?
:Matt: Not used to girls saying they love me.
:Alex: Close enough. Hey, at least you can prove I'm real now. If there was any disbelief before.
:Matt: I don't know if I love you yet. But I like you. You're an interesting person. So if you want to try this out.....let's see where this leads us.
:Alex: Cool.
:Matt: Cool.
:Alex: So... You wanna go on a date...?
:Matt: Yeah. It'd be nice to get to know each other better.
:Alex: Nice. When should we go?
:Matt: Now?
:Alex: Alright.
The two set out to a restaurant.
----
Matt and Alex are seen in a restaurant, waiting for food.
:Alex: So, where are you from?
:Matt: New Orleans.
:Alex: Nice. Anything there worth seeing?
:Matt: Lots of good food. Mardi Gras is pretty fun too.
:Alex: Cool. Isn't Mardi Gras that carnival thing?
:Matt: Yeah. What about your birthplace?
:Alex: Cologne.
:Matt: Like the perfume for guys?
:Alex: Nah, it's a city in Germany.
:Matt: I like foreign girls.
:Alex: Nice.
:Matt: Sorry if I'm being awkward....I don't really "date".
:Alex: Don't worry, this is my first date too.
:Matt: I'm surprised. You're really nice. And gorgeous. Sorry your first date is with a dork like me.
:Alex: Thanks. You aren't a dork. You're a cool guy.
:Matt: Thank you.
A waiter walks up to the two with plates, one with bratwursts and fries and the other with a pepperoni pizza on the other.
:Alex: Oh nice! I love bratwursts.
:Matt: Nothing better than a deep dish pizza though.
:Alex: What about deep dish pizza with bratwurst on?
Alex cuts up one of the bratwursts and puts the pieces on the pizza as Matt tries it.
:Matt: Oh my god. You are a genius.
:Alex: I know my foods. German foods especially.
:Matt: Y'know, I'm really glad we're doing this. You're one of the most intriguing people I've met.
:Alex: Thanks. Is it the precognition stuff that's intriguing? Or is it something else?
:Matt: It's how you look. It's how you act. It's what you do.
:Alex: Oh. Yeah, saving the world and all that is an interesting thing. It's actually what took me to Anaheim from Germany. I got an invitation and I went out there and joined the agency I work in now. Also, thanks on the looks thing! I don't normally try and make myself look all pretty and all that shit, but it's nice to know you like my appearance.
:Matt: I think you're just naturally pretty.
:Alex: Thanks. You don't look bad yourself.
:Matt: I've been told so before.....by myself.
Alex chuckles and looks at Matt, with her eyes glistening.
:Matt: You have nice eyes.
:Alex: Thanks. How tall are you? I swear you tower over me all the time and I'm 5'9".
:Matt: Eh....I'm not sure. Haven't measured myself in a while. Size doesn't matter anyways.
Matt then realizes what he said and blushes.
:Alex: Oh, I'm sure it doesn't. Except for rides in theme parks.
Alex then laughs.
:Matt: As you can see, I'm not especially smooth.
:Alex: Fair enough. Is this the longest someone's gone without leaving?
:Matt: Probably. It's a wonder I've slept with anyone.
:Alex: You happy I was that someone?
:Matt: Yeah. Usually flings don't lead to such nice first dates. But considering the worlds we live in....it's not too surprising.
:Alex: Yeah. Nick managed to seduce the girl considered hottest out of our group by saying he slept with her best friend.
:Matt: Funny how close our groups are. I know about us, and Dani and Krystal....wonder what else has gone on.
:Alex: Leah and Kirsti just got married a few days ago, Anna's married, Tayshaun's engaged, Amy and Jerry have been together for two years, Blaze is being considered for the FBI...
:Matt:....Holy shit.
:Alex: Which thing is that directed at?
:Matt: Everything.
:Alex: Oh. Yeah, our team has a lot of close connections. Jess is even friends with someone in the group, as hard to believe as that sounds.
:Matt: I dunno, everyone has some secrets.
:Alex: True. I'm 18 and I'm considered the main person for an agency with 75 people, Amy's 16 and she's taking on the role of saving the world, you're 19 and you're freakishly tall...
:Matt: Among other things.
:Alex: Yup. Jess is only 21 and she's already an alcoholic.
:Matt: You think it's a defense mechanism?
:Alex: Probably. She told me her school life was absolute shit after 8th grade.
:Matt: That's sad. In my personal experience, people use different things to distract themselves...
:Alex: Yeah. Blaze uses knocking punching bags down to forget the stress of being a secret agent, Amy uses Metroid to forget the stress of saving the world... What do you guys do when stressed?
:Matt: I joke. Kenji and Tommy beat the shit out of things. Donnie draws. Dani and Ash....not sure.
:Alex: Does Ash even experience stress?
:Matt: Only when Tommy is in danger.
:Alex: Oh. How often does that happen?
:Matt: As of late? Too often.
:Alex: Is it with raiding bases and all that shit?
:Matt: Yeah. We fight some crazy people.
:Alex: I know the feeling. I had to fight off some aliens a couple months back 'cause they were trying to invade Earth.
:Matt: Aliens sounds way worse than some corporate asshole.
:Alex: Believe me, they came in so many shapes and sizes. And the boss of it all was both an alien and an corporate asshole.
:Matt: I can tell that you probably have a lot of good stories to tell.
:Alex: Yeah. Link, Anna and Beth work with me too, they've got crazy stories, but I've kinda lost trust in Beth a bit.
:Matt: Well I like to hear you tell them. Sorry you're having team problems.
:Alex: I can show you what she did if you want.
:Matt: Now you got me curious....sure.
Alex shows her leg, with a scorch mark all down the inner thigh.
:Matt: Holy shit! How did I not see that?
:Alex: Not many people pay attention beyond my waist, so you're not the first to have been surprised by it.
:Matt: Well I'm rather interested in that area.
Alex blushes as she hears this.
:Matt:....Thank god that sounded as good as I thought it'd be.
:Alex: Were you expecting the date to end there?
:Matt: Whatever pace you want is good with me.
:Alex: Hmm... You wanting to get the food to go then head back to your's?
:Matt: God yes. I don't think this'll be your average relationship.
Matt and Alex pick up the food and go back to the house with it.
----
Hitomi is seen walking up to the Special Ops house with Nick behind her as she rings the doorbell. Kenji answers.
:Kenji: Hitomi!
Kenji pulls her in for a hug.
:Hitomi: Hey!
She hugs back.
:Hitomi: I have a boyfriend!
:Kenji: Oh! That's........wonderful.
Nick appears from behind Hitomi.
:Nick: 'Sup, bro?
Kenji grits his teeth.
:Kenji: Hello.
:Nick: Yo.
:Hitomi: Ken, I've seen that look before...
:Kenji: Can we have a word in private, Hitomi?
:Hitomi: Alright. Can Nick make himself comfortable?
:Kenji: Sure.
:Nick: Cool.
Nick sits down on a couch, ending up next to Danielle.
:Nick: We meet again.
:Danielle: You're Matt's friend right?
:Nick: I'm the guy who you beat to Krystal.
:Danielle: Oh yeah! Fun times.
Kenji and Hitomi are seen going into Kenji's room.
:Hitomi: I presume you don't approve.
:Kenji: Him? Of all people?
:Hitomi: At least he doesn't have a gun.
:Kenji: We both know his reputation. You're not the least bit scared of him sleeping around?
:Hitomi: True, but he's a nice guy to be around once you get to know him.
:Kenji: I refuse to sit and watch you get hurt.
:Hitomi: It's a better choice than dating the girl who can become a griffin...
:Kenji: You're a smart girl, Hitomi. You shouldn't have to settle for someone.
:Hitomi: Trust me, we all fall in love at some point. Is there anyone in my team that you approve of?
:Kenji:.........Not really.
:Hitomi: Oh. Not even Laura?
:Kenji: Actually she's pretty alright.
:Hitomi: Nice. How about... actually that'd be a flat-out no. Uhh, what would your actual thoughts be if I got with Carli?
:Kenji: Are you just saying names at this point? That's a little desperate, sis.
Hitomi shrugs as she adjusts her glasses.
:Hitomi: Anyway, Nick's a real nice guy even with his brash exterior, so just give him a chance.
:Kenji: I'll do it for you. But I'd like to know him better.
:Hitomi: Alright. There's a restaurant we're going to which does food from all over. Like, sausages from Germany, burgers from the US, sushi from Japa-
:Kenji: Good sushi?
:Hitomi: Yeah.
:Kenji: If you're fine with it....I'd like to come.
:Hitomi: Sure! I was gonna ask if you wanted to anyway. So you could get to know Nick better.
:Kenji: Good then.
Hitomi and Kenji walk through as they go to the restaurant with Nick.
:Tommy: Why the hell would Hitomi get with Nick. Everyone knows he can barely keep his pants on.
:Ashlee: Tommy! Don't be rude.
----
Hitomi, Kenji and Nick are seen in the restaurant as a waitress approaches.
:Waitress: What are you guys wanting?
:Hitomi: I'll have the Greek lamb.
:Nick: Cheeseburger, no onions.
:Kenji: Sushi.
:Waitress: Right.
The waitress writes the orders down as she takes the paper to the kitchen.
:Nick: So, which part of the crazy Earth we live on are you from, Ken?
:Kenji: Japan. You?
:Nick: Orange County. In California.
:Kenji: Hmm. How did you become acquainted with Hitomi?
:Nick: We first met when D'Angelo & Sons struck for the first time way back in November and Hitomi was helping gather people to help fight.
:Kenji: Interesting. Dani has told me a little about you.
:Nick: Was she talking about her and Krystal doing some stuff together?
:Kenji: I believe so. Quite the story.
Hitomi rolls her eyes.
:Nick: Yeah. All I know is they slept with each other that night.
:Kenji: I think I might know a little more about that day.
Hitomi kicks Kenji's shin under the table. Kenji bites his lip and quiets himself.
:Hitomi: Didn't know you were a Californian too.
:Nick: Wait, I thought you were from Japan?
:Hitomi: Nah, San Francisco. My mom moved to the States within the 7 months seperating me and Ken. Ken was born in Kyoto, I think.
:Kenji: Born and raised.
:Nick: Wait, did you two share the womb for two months?
:Hitomi: Yeah.
:Nick: Whoa.
:Hitomi: And I'm the shortest of the family. I'm 4'9" and everyone else is 5 or 6 feet tall.
:Nick: I'm 6'6". I just tower over everyone.
:Kenji: Hmm.
:Nick: The only time someone towers over me is when Carli transforms. She gains about 5 feet when she goes into her griffin form.
:Kenji: What an odd group you've got here.
:Nick: Mm-hmm. You've got the telekinetic goddess of lightning, a sniper alien, four agents of a big world-saving group with four entirely different pasts, an alcoholic with pyrokinesis... and your sister.
:Kenji: Oh...I think Hitomi is special in her own right.
:Nick: Yeah, with the portal stuff. The team also has three normal guys, me being one of them.
:Kenji: Normal? I can respect that.
:Nick: By that I mean people without powers or other forms or anything like that.
:Kenji: I understand.
:Nick: Oh.
A waitress goes over to the three with dishes.
:Waitress: Sushi, Greek lamb and a cheeseburger with no onions.
She places the meals in front of Kenji, Hitomi and Nick.
:Kenji: Thank you.
:Hitomi: Looks great!
:Nick: Awesome.
The three start eating their food.
:Nick: This is probably the best burger I've had.
:Kenji: This is very good.
Hitomi is seen stuffing her face with lamb.
:Nick: I think Hitomi's enjoying it.
:Kenji: Sigh...she's always ate like this.
:Nick: She's not a graceful eater then, I presume.
:Kenji: One of her many qualities.
:Hitomi: (in between bites) This... food... is... amazing.
Both Nick and Kenji smile, Kenji realizing things aren't as he thought initially.
:Nick: Am I alright to have a bit of that sushi?
Hitomi begins to tell Nick to back off, when Kenji hands a piece over.
:Kenji: Enjoy.
Nick eats the piece.
:Nick: Jesus, that's spicy.
:Kenji: You didn't tell me he was so soft, Hitomi.
Kenji grins at his sister.
:Nick: I think you gave me some wasabi.
:Kenji: Oh I definitely did.
Nick gets a glass of water.
:Hitomi: Wait, that-
Nick drinks the water only for the wasabi to be spicier.
:Hitomi: ...Spreads the spice.
:Kenji: You know, Hitomi....I think this was a good use of my time.
:Nick: It might be a good use of your time!
Nick tries to find a way to get rid of the spice.
:Hitomi: Go see if they have milk, that takes the spice out.
Nick runs to a bar quickly.
:Nick: Do you have milk?
:Bartender: Yeah.
The bartender brings up a small jug of milk.
:Bartender: That'll be $1.50.
Nick hands the bartender a dollar bill and two quarters as he heads back to the table and drinks the milk, seeing Kenji smirking.
:Nick: How do you eat that stuff?!
:Kenji: I've adapted to this food. You haven't.
Nick looks at him as he and Hitomi laugh.
----
Nick, Hitomi and Kenji are seen sat in the kitchen about a half hour later.
:Nick: That was... fun, to say the least.
:Hitomi: Even when you almost burned your mouth?
:Nick: Y-yes.
Hitomi chuckles as she goes to the bathroom. Kenji waits until she's out of earshot and pins Nick to the wall.
:Nick: What the fuck?!
:Kenji: You seem like a nice guy so I'll keep this quick. If you hurt my sister emotionally in any way, I will destroy you. You will beg for death.
:Nick: Dude, I'm not like that. I'm a nice guy when you get to know me.
:Kenji: I know your reputation. If I hear anything....you're done for.
:Nick: Jeez, I do legitimately like your sister, y'know.
:Kenji: Good then. Treat her right and I'll have no issue with you. Understood?
:Nick: Understood.
Hitomi walks back through as the trio walk into the living room to see Alex and the other Special Ops chatting.
:Alex: So, how long have you guys been doing this for now?
:Tommy: Too long.
:Alex: I'm presuming that translates to about 6 months.
:Donnie: I think....more around half that.
:Alex: Ah. I was 16 when I started, I'm 18 now so... I've been in the hero business for 2 years.
:Ashlee: I think we're all fairly new to the hero thing. It's so fun!
:Alex: It is when you aren't in a life-threatening situation.
:Danielle: Cheers to that.
:Alex: Mm-hmm. So, do you guys have any powers? I know Matt has magic...
:Danielle: Ash and I have telekinesis.
:Tommy: I can punch things. Really hard.
:Alex: Cool. I can see the future, so that's useful for planning attacks.
:Donnie: Jeez, that'd be cool...
:Alex: It is, but sometimes my powers like to be an ass and give me horrible visions.
:Donnie: Wonder if that's anything like being put on ice....ugh...
:Alex: What's that like?
:Danielle: Imagine your worst nightmare. When you go under, you see that, and it feels absolutely real.
:Alex: Damn.
:Nick: I do cryotherapy weekly, that's like an ice bath thing that keeps you refreshed. Is it anything like that?
Tommy sighs and rolls his eyes.
:Nick: What?
:Hitomi: I think that means no, Nick.
:Ashlee: Trust me...that stuff is scary!
:Nick: From a scale of a stuffed bear to a great white shark, how scary?
:Tommy: Worse. At least you can punch a shark.
:Nick: Oh.
:Alex: Well, it isn't that bad. It's like swimming in water with jellyfish.
:Donnie: Guess it's different for everyone...
Ashlee shudders.
:Alex: I know someone who was almost put on ice but some guy called Barry got her out at the last second.
:Tommy: Barry? I like that guy.
:Alex: Wait, you met him?
:Tommy: Yeah.
:Alex: Huh. My friend told me about him escaping being put on ice and punched some guy then saved her and four others.
:Tommy: My kind of person.
:Alex: Yeah, heroes are always people's types of person, if that makes sense. Except for villains.
:Tommy: Eh, heroes are people like Ashlee. Barry and I....we're different.
:Matt: That's for sure.
:Alex: Hmm. My friend referred to Barry as "Houdini brought back to life".
:Kenji: Interesting.
:Alex: Ninja-like people who aren't ninjas are always interesting.
:Donnie: And cool...
Nick nods in agreement.
:Hitomi: Blaze is like a ninja but not a ninja too. She was in some experiment where her instincts were tweaked, if I remember correctly.
:Kenji: That sounds like it'd be a serious asset.
:Nick: It is. Add it to her secret agent job and she's like Solid Snake.
:Matt: Never liked the game. Too much sneaking. Not enough magic.
:Hitomi: I'm terrible at Metal Gear Solid. Give Krystal the controller though and she just recklessly shoots everything.
:Tommy: I like that style.
:Hitomi: I just hide until I think everyone's gone. Takes me about 30 minutes to beat a level, I hide so often.
:Kenji: Stealth is a good attribute to have.
:Alex: Indeed. Always vital for infiltration.
Kenji nods in agreement as the screen fades to black.
----
Amy is seen with her phone out, calling somebody. A dimly-lit, futuristic house is shown, with a young woman picking up a video call device.
:Young woman: H-Hello?
:Amy: Hey, Cindy. I don't know if you remember me, my name's Amy Jackson-
:Cindy: A-Amy?
:Amy: Yeah.
:Cindy: Oh! I thought you were dead!
:Amy: Nah, I was included in a time travel thing. So, have I missed anything on Mars?
:Cindy: The Bushi went to war with us.
:Amy: The Bushi?
:Cindy: The people of Sectro. They struck us in 3013 and we ended up with a ton of deaths. I was lucky enough to survive. What's life on Earth like anyway?
:Amy: It's rather pleasant. The place we ended up in is beautiful. It's like Colony 17, but without the dictatorship and gloominess. It's like my hometown, really. Just a big city.
:Cindy: I wish I went back with you guys...
:Amy: Don't worry, you'll hang in there.
:Cindy: I know.
She smiles at Amy, with Cindy's eye flashing as her device switches off.
:Cindy: I am gonna get to Earth, no matter what. This city's too dangerous.
Cindy then walks out into the city, with a green sky over it as she attempts to find a time machine lab. Amy is seen lying back on her bed.
:Amy: We'll meet soon, Cindy. We'll meet soon.
----
Matt and Alex are seen lying side-by-side in bed.
:Alex: How does it feel sleeping with someone again?
:Matt: I personally enjoyed it, quite a bit.
Matt grins at Alex.
:Alex: Always nice to have someone to sleep with. Makes the bed feel warmer. Unless you have to share it with Skye. It gets really cold when you have to share a bed with her. I think her bed's even made of solid ice.
:Matt: And you would know?
Matt smirks at her.
:Alex: I had to share a bed with her when I started working with the guys in the other universe.
:Matt: Ah. Y'know....I don't think most relationships are like this. But I like it.
:Alex: I like it too. We still have our food too.
Alex takes a bite out of a bratwurst.
:Matt: This is pretty perfect.
Matt takes a bite from a slice of pizza.
:Alex: Agent life.
Matt high fives Alex.
:Alex: So, what's the most dangerous thing you and your team have faced?
:Matt: The super soldiers from D'Angelo & Sons. They used some creepy force choke shit on me.
:Alex: Just you or on your whole team?
:Matt: Pretty much everyone.
:Alex: Ah. The most dangerous thing my team faced was a huge horde of aliens. There were about 500 in the one spot.
:Matt: That sounds like quite the battle.
:Alex: It was, until Jess got super pissed and unleashed a firestorm and murdered about half of them.
:Matt: She has problems. Do you think she melts the guys she sleeps with?
:Alex: I think she slept with Nikolai once. They went to some hotel the night of Leah and Kirsti's wedding after Jess beat the shit out of Nikolai and they came back in the morning all sweaty. He was just fine, save for the bruises and broken arm.
:Matt: That sounds kinky. Or terrifying.
:Alex: Considering it was with Jess, I'd say terrifying.
:Matt: Fair point.
:Alex: Is there anyone in F.A.N.T that you fear?
:Matt: Not that I know of. Try to shoot down fear with humor. Actually I use humor for a lot of stuff, seduction included.
:Alex: Huh. Have you met any other teams in F.A.N.T?
:Matt: Not really. We're over doing our own thing. But Ash talked about a Pokémon agent who had a human girlfriend once.
:Alex: Reminds me of Aminu. But more successful in getting a woman.
:Matt: Well, to be fair, Aminu seems a bit obnoxious. But I guess that's what people think of me so...
:Alex: True. Imagine if that guy and Aminu met.
:Matt: That'd be one ridiculous coincidence....
:Alex: Yeah. Not many Pokémon talk over in the other universe so Aminu would probably freak the fuck out. Or just be happy another creature like him can talk.
Alex takes a bite out of her bratwurst again.
:Matt: Is this a little weird?
:Alex: Nah, I think it's just a case of running out of things to say.
:Matt: Guess so. You wanna....?
:Alex: Sure.
Alex goes and puts a sock on the door as she closes it.
:Alex: This is what you meant right?
----
Laura, Jerry, Skye and Tayshaun are seen around a table, playing a trivia game.
:Laura: Alright, what is the capital of Australia?
:Tayshaun: Sydney.
:Jerry: Sydney.
:Skye: Canberra.
:Laura: Skye got it right.
:Tayshaun and Jerry: The fuck?!
:Laura: I swear everyone says it's Sydney. That's not even a joke.
:Tayshaun: I refuse to believe that.
Laura gets her phone out and Googles Australia to show Tayshaun.
:Tayshaun: Huh.
The camera goes into another room to show Amy and Link laughing as they try and watch a Phoenix Games movie.
:Amy: This is so terrible it's hilarious!
A ring of the doorbell is heard as Amy goes to the door. She opens it to see Cindy.
:Amy: Cindy?
:Cindy: Hey. I found a way to get back.
:Amy: Cool.
:Cindy: I prefer Earth over Mars already. I love the freedom.
:Amy: Yeah, America's a great place.
:Cindy: I hope that's true.
Cindy walks in as she sees Aminu.
:Aminu: What's with robo-eye here?
:Amy: Aminu, be nice. She's my friend.
:Aminu: Whatever.
Amy sighs as she chats with Cindy.
----
Nick and Tommy are seen sat side-by-side with Hitomi sleeping next to Nick.
:Nick: So, how'd you meet the other guys?
:Tommy: We were all lined up to head through the portal. Those stupid soldiers attacked and we fended them off together. One thing lead to another, and here we are.
:Nick: Ah. I met the team I work with now by being selected by Amy, Krystal and Tayshaun to protect the other universe while they were here.
:Tommy: A lot has gone on. You and I both have girlfriends now.
:Nick: Yup. You have the happiest person on the planet and I have the woman that connected us to this universe.
:Tommy: We both got lucky. Sorry for talking bad about you earlier, you seem like an alright guy.
:Nick: Thanks. I'm just curious about this, what was life like on the streets? was there ever anyone who looked after you or made you feel not-lonely?
:Tommy: I was alone for...a long time. Looked after myself. Ash is the first woman I really like or yearn for.
:Nick: I'm guessing street life was tough then.
:Tommy: That's how I got like this. Wasn't exactly sleeping around or making friends like you. Never did.
:Nick: Sounds like it sucked. Did D'Angelo & Sons ever cause any trouble for you over there or...?
:Tommy: The only corporation I knew about back then was McDonald's. They weren't interested in a street rat like me.
:Nick: Ah. Have you ever tried McDonald's food?
:Tommy: Ehh, whatever I found in the trash.
:Nick: Weren't you ever scared of food poisoning?
:Tommy: To be honest, I was too hungry for that. Hey.....if you don't mind, how do you get women?
:Nick: You gotta be suave. Girls like guys who can impress them. Although if you've got such an appeal like me it apparently just boils down to telling them you slept with their best friend.
:Tommy: Honestly it's like you're my opposite. I have no experience with that stuff.
:Nick: What kind of stuff?
:Tommy: Women. And uh..you know.
:Nick: Oh.
They hear Matt and Alex giggling.
:Nick: Can they be any quieter?
:Tommy: I wish. Like rabbits at this point.
:Nick: Shame. Not like I can talk anyway, I'm loud as hell when it comes to... that.
:Tommy: Honestly I have no clue what I'd be like.
:Nick: Everyone's like that before it happens for them the first time.
:Tommy: Yeah....I'm terrified honestly. I can shoot a man to death but that...
:Nick: Krystal could most likely do both at the same time.
Tommy chuckles while twiddling his thumbs.
:Nick: I'm being serious. She can seduce an enemy then they won't give a shit if she shoots them during seduction.
:Tommy: Guess that's a good skill to have. Can't see Dani or Ash being like that.
:Nick: Yeah. Krystal's a badass.
:Tommy: You liked her before right? Well, Hitomi is a pretty good choice. She's a lot different from her brother.
:Nick: Yeah. Hitomi's a cool girl with portal powers. And Ken's cool too, even if he threatened my life.
:Tommy: He did? Not surprised. Look, if you ever sleep with her, never let anyone know. Ken would probably murder you, brutally.
:Nick: Still wouldn't hurt as much as if Jess murdered me.
:Tommy: Ehh, I'm not sure.
:Nick: Her punches when she's extremely pissed are like Warlock Punches. Times by 20.
:Tommy: Still.
:Nick: Getting murdered simultaneously by them though... that'd really hurt.
:Tommy: How did this go from relationships to sex to murder so fast?
:Nick: I have no clue. Hey, did you know Jess has actually, y'know... recently?
:Tommy: Poor guy.
:Nick: The guy came out fine. Although before they did it, Jess beat the shit out of him. He told me she broke his arm too.
:Tommy: At least I probably won't get beat up before doing it.
:Nick: Yeah. At one point I slept with a chick who's not into guys.
:Tommy: I don't think something like that would happen to Dani.
:Nick: It was Laura. She's a girl on our team.
:Tommy: Pretty diverse teams we have here.
:Nick: Indeed. From the hikers to the politician-turned-superhero.
:Tommy: And we're all here to save the world, I guess.
They both hear a loud moan and sigh.
----
Jess is seen shooting hockey pucks in an ice rink aggressively as Nina is seen going onto the ice.
:Nina: Hey.
:Jess: Hi.
Jess continues to shoot the pucks at a net as Nina notices Jess's shooting style and notices she plays with her right hand at the top of the stick.
:Nina: You're right-handed?
:Jess: I'm fucking left-handed. What the fuck made you think I'm a right-handed person?
:Nina: Normally right-handed players play hockey left-handed and lefty players play right-handed.
:Jess: How the fuck would you know?
:Nina: My dad played in the NHL and he taught me a bunch of stuff. He's right-handed but played lefty.
:Jess: Huh.
:Nina: Hockey's also like a secondary sport for Belarus.
:Jess: The fuck's the primary sport?
:Nina: Soccer.
Jess shrugs as she continues launching pucks.
:Nina: I have an idea.
Jess looks at her.
:Nina: Wanna have a shootout?
:Jess: Is there any fucking twist?
:Nina: We wear out normal shoes.
:Jess: My combat boots have no fucking grip, I'd be sliding all over the fucking place.
:Nina: It'll be fun...
:Jess: Fucking whatever.
Nina grabs a hockey stick as they pick up some pucks as Jess shoot at the net one one side and Nina shoots at the other. They eventually run out of pucks and count the pucks they got in their respective nets.
:Nina: So, out of the 20, I got 14 in. So, 70% of them.
:Jess: Fuck yeah! 18 shots, bitch!
:Nina: Nice.
They high five as Jess slides on the ice.
:Nina: Aren't combat boots meant to have strong grip?
:Jess: Yeah, but the guys who made these didn't fucking know.
Nina laughs as they head off to the house.
:Jess: I may have done some shit with Nikolai the night of Leah and Kirsti's wedding, by the way.
Nina laughs but her eyes go wide as she realises what Jess means.
----
Alex is seen walking into the kitchen with her hair all out of place, as she sees Danielle at the table.
:Alex: Uh... hi...
:Danielle: Hey. No need to be embarassed. I think we all know what went on. Multiple times.
:Alex: You heard us, didn't you.
:Danielle: Everyone in the house did, Alex.
:Alex: Shit.
:Danielle: Well, you two had more fun then the rest of us, if that's any consolation.
Alex shrugs as they go through to the living room to see Nick and Hitomi crashed on one of the couches.
:Alex: I only just noticed now how colossal Nick is in terms of height.
:Danielle: Eh. Size doesn't exactly matter.
:Alex: True. So, what made you wanna be a superhero instead of a politician?
:Danielle: These powers....I knew I could put them to more use besides sex and lifting things when I'm lazy.
:Alex: Cool. I've always wondered, what was life like in DC?
:Danielle: Fancy. Expensive. But I like here more.
:Alex: Nice. Did you ever meet President Smith?
:Danielle: Nah. Not in person, anyways.
:Alex: Hmm. I heard from Matt you're from the New England area?
:Danielle: Yeah. So Matt's talked about me?
:Alex: He was telling me about everyone in general, like how Ash is Irish and Donnie's from Colorado and so on...
:Danielle: I like you. Matt deserves someone like you. Just don't tell him I said that.
:Alex: Thanks. You and your team aren't half bad either.
:Danielle: A little different than yours but....we work together.
:Alex: Yeah. You have a boss who gives you orders, my team is just a group who work together in the form of doing anything but fighting.
:Daniellle: From what I've heard from people like Krystal....you guys have some effectiveness too.
:Alex: Yeah, that helps too. You've got Jess's strength, Nina and Nikolai's experience from hiking, Amy's fighting ability, Krystal's marksmanship with her gun...
:Danielle: I like your team. Although it seems there are less and less single women on the team.
:Alex: Yeah. The single girls are Jess, but she isn't into women, same thing with Skye. There's also Krystal, Nina, Beth, Laura who's probably right up your alley, and a couple others.
:Danielle:....Did​ you just give me a list of people I can possibly sleep with? I think this is the beginning of a great friendship.
:Alex: It sure is. You're into girls from Australia aren't you?
:Danielle: I'm into most girls.
:Alex: Cool. I'll give Laura a call and see if she wants to meet you.
Alex calls Laura as they briefly converse. Alex eventually puts the phone down and turns to Danielle.
:Alex: She said yeah.
:Danielle: I owe you. Go have some more fun with Matt, you've earned it.
Alex and Dani high five as Alex goes off to find Matt.
----
Krystal is shown having a nightmare as the camera goes into her dream, showing her waking up on a beach.
:Krystal: Is this Cabo San Lucas?
She looks around to see tourists screaming as she looks over to see a young version of her and her brother, with their father face down in the sand.
:Krystal: Oh my God!
She sees gangsters going up to her younger self and her brother as police cars arrive to arrest the gangsters. One police officer goes up to young Krystal.
:Police officer: (in Spanish, subtitled) Do you know who the deceased man is?
:Young!Krystal: (in Spanish, subtitled) He's my father! I just watched him get murdered before my eyes!
:Police officer: (in Spanish, subtitled) Hmm. Well, Cabo San Lucas may not be the best place for you or your family then.
:Young!Krystal: (in Spanish, subtitled) Where are we going then?
:Police officer: (in Spanish, subtitled) Anaheim, a city in California.
The police officer takes Krystal and her brother to a car as he takes them off to Anaheim. Krystal then wakes up, gasping.
:Krystal: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my god!
Nikolai hears Krystal and goes through to her room.
:Nikolai: Are you alright?
:Krystal: I just witnessed my father's murder in the form of a dream, do you think I'm alright?!
:Nikolai: Whoa. Really?
:Krystal: Yes! My own father! In front of me! Dead! Deceased!
:Nikolai: Jeez, calm down.
:Krystal: How can I be calm when I just had one of the worst points of my life come back to haunt me?!
:Nikolai: True. Look, just forget it ever happened. You're up here now, you're saving everything in existence. Just be happy you're doing that.
Krystal lies back as she reaches for a pair of glasses and puts them on.
:Nikolai: You have glasses?
:Krystal: Yeah.
:Nikolai: Huh. The more you know.
Krystal shrugs as they sit side-by-side.
----
Laura is seen outside the Special Ops house as she nervously walks to the door and knocks on it, and Ashlee answers.
:Laura: H-hi... Is a girl called Dani Parker here?
:Ashlee: Of course! Is this gonna be the second romantic confession of the day? Not that I mind, it's swe-I'll shut up now.
:Laura: My friend Alex said Dani was a pretty good match for me.
:Ashlee: Oh neat! Like to hang out or-oh. I get it. Come in! I'll get outta your way.
:Laura: Thank you.
Laura walks in as she sits down on a couch. Danielle is then seen walking into the room.
:Danielle: Hey, beautiful.
Danielle surveys Laura and realizes how similar they are.
:Laura: Hey.
She smiles as she unzips her jacket to show the glass pane protecting her heart.
:Danielle: Damn. I have scars but....that's something on it's own.
:Laura: Yup. I ended up having to have this pane put over my heart because I was in some huge accident that burned some of my skin clean off and panes were the only way to cover them apparently. Also had to have a kidney removed and a pane put over my stomach.
:Danielle: You tell that to all the girls?
:Laura: Only the select few. (whispering) In other words, the girls I like.
:Danielle: I'm flattered. I assume that scares some people off.
:Laura: Yeah. When I first showed my colleagues they all jumped up like a cat when they're scared. I don't think Alex was there, she was in the hospital if I remember rightly.
:Danielle: Well, it doesn't scare me. I like tough, durable women.
:Laura: Cool. I'm not sure if Alex told you about this, but...
Laura moves her hand about and creates a rose from nothing.
:Danielle: I usually think roses are cheesy but.....wow.
:Laura: I've got a bunch of other powers too.
She then grabs a glass and fills it with hydrokinetic powers. She then lights a candle with pyrokinesis and creates ice cubes and drops them in the water before telekinetically lifting the glass.
:Laura: Wanna drink?
:Danielle: I'd rather meet the person Laura, than the powers. So yes.
Laura passes the glass to Danielle normally.
:Laura: If I tried that before March, my schizophrenia would've decided to be an asshole.
:Danielle: Schizophrenia? You're one hell of a person.
Danielle sips her drink.
:Laura: I'm a Palmer. And as a Palmer, I get through stuff no matter how much shit I get thrown at me.
:Danielle: I admire that. You don't seem too nervous and....I like that.
:Laura: Thanks. You should've seen me before March in general really. I was a wreck and the only times I really went out was when I was giving Krystal support when she was going to auditions.
:Danielle: Yeah...I've grown a bit too. You and Krystal friends?
:Laura: Yeah. I was one of her first friends when I moved to Anaheim and she helped me get over my parents' deaths and this.
She points to the pane over her heart.
:Danielle: Krystal...is a good person.
:Laura: She's nice to her friends, and her enemies' worst nightmare.
:Danielle: I like people like that.
:Laura: I remember she told me once that when fighting some D'Angelo & Sons soldier she crushed a soldier's mind into nothing with her telekinesis. Her telekinesis also got her kicked out of high school.
:Danielle: Damn. Seems like the three of us share some traits...taste in women especially.
:Laura: Yup. Wait, have you been with her before...?
:Danielle: You didn't know? Guess news spreads slower for your team...
:Laura: Well, my team does have over 20 members, to be fair and yours has 6...
:Danielle: True. Everyone here knows what's gone on....maybe too much.
:Laura: I know you guys met Amy once, she told us that...
:Danielle: Word about you and I...it'll move fast. If you're interested, of course.
:Laura: I sure am interested.
:Danielle: Good, because I am too.
The two smirk as they lean in for a kiss. As they kiss, Danielle sees Laura's heart beating rapidly, beating against the glass.
:Danielle: Excited?
----
Krystal is seen in a sports bra in a room filled with weights and with a large weight in front of her as Skye walks in.
:Skye: Hey, what're you doing up so late?
:Krystal: Can't sleep. I had a nightmare about my father's death and I can't stop thinking about it.
:Skye: Oh. What's with the getup then?
:Krystal: It's a sports bra. It's normally used for when you work out. What're you doing up yourself?
:Skye: My powers made my bed a literal ice block. Do you think I'm really gonna sleep on ice?
:Krystal: True.
:Skye: ...So, why do you have these weights out?
:Krystal: I'm trying to lift them.
:Skye: Ah. Y'know, with how you look now you look like a wrestler.
Krystal pauses for a second.
:Skye: ...Krystal?
The camera goes into Krystal's brain to show a defaced John Cena image with Krystal's face over John's before it zooms back out.
:Krystal: Oh, sorry, got a little caught up after you said I looked like a wrestler.
She then lifts the weights telekinetically with ease.
:Skye: That's impressive, but can you actually physically lift it with your hands and not your telekinesis?
:Krystal: I can try...
She walks over to and puts her hands on the weights as she attempts to lift them. She struggles as Skye looks at her.
:Skye: Y'know, for someone who saves the world, you've got weak as hell muscles...
:Krystal: Yeah, well I can only lift 20lbs, don't judge me.
She continues to struggle as Skye laughs. Eventually, Krystal gives up and lifts them telekinetically again. Skye then notices Krystal has tattoos all over her torso.
:Skye: Hey, why do you have so many tattoos?
:Krystal: Why don't you?
:Skye: Because I'm 16.
:Krystal: Fair enough.
:Skye: So... why did you decide to try and lift the weights?
:Krystal: There's this gang in Cabo San Lucas that I'm pretty sure want my blood so I'm training in case they come here.
:Skye: Cabo San Lucas?
:Krystal: My hometown back in Mexico.
:Skye: Oh. Can't you just use your gun?
:Krystal: True.
Krystal dabs some sweat off her forehead as she and Skye go through to the living room.
----
Hitomi is seen scrambling all over the living room and bumps into Ashlee.
:Ashlee: You okay?
:Hitomi: Yeah, I can't find my glasses.
:Ashlee: Oh! Let me help.
Hitomi continues scrambling around as Ashlee looks around carefully.
:Ashlee: Got 'em!
Ashlee picks up Hitomi's glasses, which are wedged in the couch. Hitomi scrambles over to Ashlee and picks up the glasses and puts them on.
:Hitomi: Thanks. I must've crashed on the couch with Nick overnight.
:Ashlee: No problem! You two seem cute together. Sorry about what Tommy said earlier, by the way. He means well.
:Hitomi: He is real nice. I heard a couple moans that sounded like Matt and Alex when I was sleeping so my glasses might have flown off when they made me jump.
:Ashlee: Oh...huh...yeah....
:Hitomi: What did they even do?
:Ashlee: I don't exactly want to say in polite company!
:Hitomi: I'm presuming they got it on then.
:Ashlee: If you wanna use that word for it...
:Hitomi: Damn. Matt's lucky, Alex is a cool chick.
:Ashlee: Jeez...you and Ken are so different...
:Hitomi: Yeah, everyone says that. I think it's because he was fairly focused on his martial arts while I was out fucking about with Krystal.
:Ashlee: Literally or figuratively?
:Hitomi: Literally for a spell, but figuratively the rest of the time.
:Ashlee: Wow. I wasn't expecting Ken's dear little sister to be like this.
:Hitomi: I'm normally innocent but I've done a ton of far-from-innocent things.
:Ashlee: I assume Ken doesn't really approve?
:Hitomi: Pretty much. He was a bit pissed to see Nick at first. Probably the past he's had and the bright, obnoxious Mohawk.
:Ashlee: Well...not to be rude...but he's a bit promiscuous.
:Hitomi: True. He's like Matt if you think about it. Just more successful with the ladies.
:Ashlee: I love Matt, but I wouldn't exactly think he'd be a romantic.
:Hitomi: He's more of a joker, but I swear Krystal told me he tried hitting on her then she straight up shot him down.
:Ashlee: I've never had to worry 'bout seduction. Poor guy.
:Hitomi: You won't have to worry about seduction for a while now, you have Tommy.
:Ashlee: I'm lucky for that, we both fall in love so quickly.
:Hitomi: Yeah. Ken would most likely kill Nick if he found out me and him slept together. He's rather protective of me.
:Ashlee: So, you guys have?
:Hitomi: Not yet, it's more of a "what if" situation really.
:Ashlee: Aww...that's sweet. I have no issue with Matt and Alex being like....that. But I'm a sucker for romance!
:Hitomi: Do you reckon Matt's gonna be proud that he had sex with someone?
:Ashlee: Oh, dear....we'll never hear the end of it.
:Hitomi: Heh. Nick was bragging for a week after he slept with Krystal. Do you reckon he'll brag for that long?
:Ashlee: That is if they ever stop!
:Hitomi: True.
The two then hear rustling from Danielle's room.
:Hitomi: Did Dani get a girl?
:Ashlee: It seems so.
Ashlee rubs her head.
----
Donnie is seen attending to the hedges as he notices one of the hedges rustling.
:Donnie: Why now?
Donnie goes over to the hedge to see Barry Robinson staring at him blankly.
:Donnie: Do I know you? Because, honestly, I'm not especially in the mood to fight right now.
:Barry: I don't think you do.
:Donnie: Are you here to do it with someone on my team? If so, that's like the third person today. I need sleep.
:Barry: Huh?
Taylor Jamison then shows up from the hedge.
:Donnie: Jesus christ....
:Taylor: Don't worry, we weren't banging in your back yard.
:Donnie: That's comforting. May I ask why you're here?
:Taylor: Taking a break from saving the world and we came to New York for a vacation and we ended up here.
:Donnie: W-well...don't sleep in our backyard. I'll figure something out, I guess...
:Barry: We probably wouldn't have ended up in your back yard if I didn't have these.
He holds up a pair of 3D glasses.
:Donnie: Please give me those.
:Barry: What're you gonna do with them?
:Donnie: Just give em.
:Barry: Alright... just so you know, the lenses have some warp magic thing so you might end up going around the yard randomly.
Donnie drops the glasses and steps on them.
:Donnie: Stop ending up in people's yards.
Barry pulls out another pair of 3D glasses.
:Barry: Well that was rude. Anyway, I'm Barry Robinson and this is my friend Taylor Jamison.
:Donnie: Donnie Fox.
:Barry: Wait. Do you work with a guy called Tommy Djekovic?
:Donnie: Yeah. You know him?
:Barry: Yeah, I helped him take some Cross guy down once.
:Taylor: Was Cross the guy who tried taking my powers?
:Barry: Yup.
:Donnie: Oh. You guys have been caught in that too....alright come on in. It's better than staying out here...
The three walk into the house as Tommy quickly notices Barry.
:Tommy: Oh hey, it's Barry. You here to bang anyone?
:Barry: Nah.
A loud moan is heard from Danielle's room as Barry looks at the door, confused.
:Barry: Guessing today's Agents Getting Lucky day then.
:Tommy: For some of us. The rest are just trying to get some peace and quiet.
:Taylor: Closest we've had to getting lucky in the other universe was Barry getting checked out by the president's daughter.
:Tommy: Nice.
:Barry: Yeah. She was really beautiful too.
:Tommy: Huh. You guys have a weird life.
:Taylor: We live in a weird universe.
:Tommy: Fair point.
:Taylor: Our team back in Anaheim consists of a soccer player, a depressed terrakinetic, a cryokinetic from Hawaii, Barry and so on.
:Tommy: So many people fighting to save the world. Almost gives me hope.
:Barry: Yup. When you live in a universe full of aliens, evil guys and so on, there's clearly gonna be plenty saving the planet.
:Donnie: I like it. There....weren't exactly heroes when I grew up. I always thought I couldn't be one. So it's nice to be alongside likeminded people.
:Tommy: Sounds sappy to me.
:Taylor: The heroes only really started to shine when it came around November when those soldiers started attacking. Barry here actually knows how they get to Earth.
:Tommy: How does Barry know all this shit?
:Barry: It's a pro of being a silent assassin.
:Tommy: I can kill people but it's not quiet.
:Donnie: I try to avoid murder, personally...
:Taylor: I sometimes end up burning some soldiers, but most of the time I avoid murder too.
:Donnie: Tom acts like he's such a hard boiled killer but you should see him with Ash...
:Tommy: Shut up!
:Barry: Is Ash your girlfriend?
:Tommy: Yeah.
:Barry: Cool.
Another loud moan is heard from Danielle's room as Tommy and Donnie sigh.
----
Laura and Danielle are seen lying in bed, panting in exhaustion.
:Laura: That... was... amazing.
:Danielle: You were, too.
Laura giggles as she looks down to see her heart racing.
:Danielle: You know, that's growing on me. Makes me feel proud of my performance.
Laura smiles as she kisses Danielle on the cheek.
:Danielle: You think the others heard?
:Laura: Most likely. We were doing it in the room right next to the kitchen.
:Danielle: Eh, not like I care anyways.
:Laura: I don't either. So, how was the Australian flavour?
:Danielle: I'm a fan.
:Laura: Nice.
----
We see a shot of the Special Ops house, silent.
::Matt: Humor is a defense for me.
We see Matt and Alex sleeping peacefully.
::Matt: Violence for others.
We see Tommy and Ashlee cuddling while asleep.
::Matt: But sometime we need to let our guards down.
We see Hitomi laying on Nick's chest in Kenji's bed.
::Matt: Get ourselves caught in love. No matter how weird. Maybe it's platonic.
Kenji, Donnie, Barry, and Taylor are sprawled out on the couch.
::Matt: Maybe it involves a tasteful fling.
Danielle and Laura are resting for a bit.
::Matt: Who knows if it'll last. But maybe....it's worth trying out.
Matt wraps his arm around Alex.
::Matt: Definitely, actually. And that's no joke.
==Reception==
TBA
==Trivia==
*The episode name is a play on words of the saying "shit happens"
*This episode is the third time that The Other Side and Journey have officially crossed over, the other two times being Journey to the Other Side and The Other Side of the Journey.
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