Mystery of the SiIcret Gunner - A SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis Side Story

"Mystery of the SiIcret Gunner - A SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis Side Story" is a high quality lore video and a side story for The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis.
Like "The Lost Rip" and "Unusual Circumstances", it is a Nutshackwoodman34 story. It is based on the "FOOLS" branch of The Susie ARG, though many steps differ in execution from the actual ARG, including the ending.
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== Plot summary ==
Reader is at home doing nothing in particular when Jerome comes home. He asks Reader if he had seen SiIvaGunner doing strange things, to which Reader replies that he hadn't watched the channel in a while and asks if they still uploaded "grand dad", "snow halation", or "dva" rips. Jerome reminds Reader about their prior adventure with Wood Man (which Reader had forgotten about), and mentions that SiIvaGunner had announced a new SiIva Direct, scheduled to happen as they were speaking.
Reader and Jerome then move to their couch, turning on the Direct as it is about to start. As the Direct proceeds to announce "Blueberry Pie Day", "Gabe Newell Funeral Event", and "Cereal Day", a message from Chuck Norris interrupts the Direct to say a URL, which Reader tells Jerome to write down. After this, Reader asks Jerome what he thinks the URL means, to which Jerome suggests that it could be an alternate reality game.
Reader proceeds to go upstairs to enter the URL into his computer, finding Max Profitt Haltmann's website and recalling his adventures with him. Jerome suggests that the website is where the "" are stored, which Reader wants to watch to catch up on SiIvaGunner.
After reading every prior "Haltmann's Archives" file, Reader and Jerome begin reading the newest one, but instead see an image that says "illucidity activated". After making a few remarks about its appearance and pondering its existence, Jerome suggests that the image might contain a secret. Reader and Jerome then use their special secret decoding program to decode the image, followed by using Reader's phone's "x-ray app" to discover the message "you must play wordle..." written with bones.
Upon the discovery of the message, Reader is confused by what Wordle is, with Jerome mentioning his coworker talking about it. They then look it up and discover the website "playwordlefree.highquality.rip", to which they conclude that they need to record a "let's play" of the game. After a bit of discussion on how to play, Reader and Jerome guess the words "cows" and "minecraft", which works. Reader then renders their video and emails it to Haltmann's address (which they guessed to be "rippapalooza@siivagunner.net") before he and Jerome go to bed.
When Reader wakes up, he discovers a response to his email not from Haltmann but from Inspector Gadget, causing him to scream and wake up Jerome, who asks him what happened. Upon learning that Inspector Gadget replied, Jerome expresses mild displeasure before joining Reader in watching what Inspector Gadget had sent: a "let's play" video of a really old version of Minecraft. After discovering that the video was over 4 hours long, Reader and Jerome decide that they don't want to watch it and are mad that Inspector Gadget responded to their "let's play" video with a worse one. After this, Jerome goes to work and Reader decides to watch videos on Vimeo.
While watching Vimeo, Reader discovers that SiIvaGunner also had a channel there, and finds a video on the channel called "hurt.ogg" featuring Ogg (who Reader recognizes as someone he knew in 3rd grade) and Inspector Gadget singing a cover of "Hurt" by Johnny Cash, dedicating the song to Jerome. Reader concludes that Haltmann set up the video to get Jerome to forgive Inspector Gadget, and calls Jerome to come home and watch the video. Upon coming home and seeing the video, Jerome cries tears of joy and hugs Reader as well, before returning to work.
Reader then discovers a new video on the Vimeo channel, surprising him as he had thought the alternate reality game was over. Theorizing that Haltmann prepared several "redemption" videos for them, he clicks on the video (which was a Super Smash Brothers replay of Cloud and Captain Falcon) and gets angrier as he watches and re-watches it, commenting that the people playing the game sucked. When Jerome returns home later, Reader shows him the video, which confuses him due to how the players were moving. Reader then comes to the conclusion that he and Jerome should play the game and recreate the exact movements themselves to perhaps unlock a secret file. Reader and Jerome then proceed to play the game over the next 2 weeks (restarting whenever they made a mistake) before finally getting the file, which Reader takes a picture of and decodes via his computer, his decoder program, and his x-ray app, resulting in an MP3 file.
Upon playing the file, Reader recognizes the melody as famous console startups from his past, but notes that it sounded odd. Jerome recognizes the instruments as the "Buddy Holly" soundfont, after which a door appears in Reader's bedroom. Reader opens the door and finds a blue-colored world, with four figures in the distance that Jerome identifies as the members of Weezer. Reader briefly goes back to grab all of the consoles from his past, but returns to see the fourth member had changed to Squidward.
Reader hands Rivers Cuomo his Texas Instruments calculator and asks Cuomo to follow him, but Cuomo tells him that they can't leave the blue world. In response, Reader comes up with an idea to disguise the members, which they are excited by. However, upon exiting the blue world, the members freeze in place, becoming blue and immobile. After this, the Eiffel Tower suddenly appears from the blue world and accuses Reader and Jerome of taking Weezer, with Reader insisting that they ran out themselves. After explaining that they needed Weezer to proceed in the ARG, the Eiffel Tower, upon the mention of SiIvaGunner, agrees to help Reader and Jerome (briefly bemoaning Weezer dissolving into a blue puddle) by offering to dressing up as memes for them. The Eiffel Tower splits itself into three, but then Reader quickly summarizes over what happened afterwards in the narration, mentioning a Pastebin link, how Weezer held the consoles and sang the link, and how it was recorded and they got the code from the replay.
Reader and Jerome type the Pastebin link into the computer and get a blank page, with Reader mad that they killed Weezer just for this. Jerome thinks the page is still loading, but later goes to restart the router when it wasn't the case. When the page still does not load, Jerome calls their ISP, who says they could fix it in 3 years. Unwilling to wait that long, Reader tries to call his friend Repair Man the Woodman, but gets sent to voicemail. Reader asks Jerome how to get in contact with Repair Man the Woodman, but Jerome does not know how or who he is. Jerome mentions that his friend Mario Ramirez might know, but when they call him, his girlfriend Monika picks up instead.
Monika reveals that Mario passed away, but tells Reader and Jerome of someone who could get in contact with Repair Man the Woodman when she is asked. Upon writing down the phone number, Reader recognizes it as Wood Man's number, with him and Jerome then heading to McDonald's to use the free Wi-Fi to call him.
Reader and Jerome attempt to call Wood Man but he is not online. Jerome asks Reader is he knows anyone else who could get in contact with Wood Man, after which Reader lists off a long series of names before finally setting on Mario. Reader and Jerome then attempt to call Mario on Skype but he is also not online. Jerome mentions that he knows someone who could get in contact with Mario, after which Reader guesses who it could be before Jerome reveals that the person is Monika.
Reader and Jerome contact Monika again, where she mentions again that Mario had passed away and emails them his autopsy report. After realizing that neither of them knew how to read an autopsy report, Jerome mentions that they would need a lawyer. Upon this revelation, Reader concludes that they would have to talk to Phoenix Wright, which they then do by opening a portal to SiIvaGunner's world that had been gifted to them by Wood Man.
Reader and Jerome visit Phoenix Wright in solitary confinement, but he is not happy to see them. Phoenix refuses to help Reader and Jerome after what they did to him but Reader insists that they were not at that trial. Phoenix then specifically mentions Jerome being there, to which Jerome also denies that he was there. When Phoenix expresses confusion at this fact, mentioning that Jerome was the judge at the trial, Jerome explains that he doesn't have a law degree or a a coat and gavel, and thus couldn't have been a judge. Phoenix then apologizes, noting that it was hard for him in solitary confinement and that he misses his best friend and actual brother Mario, who he plans to spend one more moment with when he gets out.
Reader begins to cry due to his knowledge of Mario's death, and reveals this fact to Phoenix, who expresses shock and disbelief. Reader then reveals to Phoenix that Jerome is holding Mario's autopsy report, which Phoenix begs to read. After contemplating whether to let Phoenix read the autopsy report, Reader hands it to him, who begins reading it in tears but then expresses confusion, revealing to Reader and Jerome that the autopsy report is actually a YouTube link.
Upon this discovery, Reader and Jerome go home to watch the video on Jerome's phone, which featured a purple character that Reader believed was Grand Dad and Jerome believed to be Luigi. To resolve the dispute, Jerome tries to look up a picture of Mario but instead keeps finding the "RedRewards" image. After initially believing that Jerome had run out of data, Reader comes to the conclusion that the image was part of the ARG. After thinking about it for a while, Reader and Jerome conclude that the red image was like red mist, which was like "Halloween Spirit", before dapping each other for coming up with this conclusion.
After feeling satisfied with their conclusion, Reader and Jerome return to their YouTube television and express surprise at finding a new episode of The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis, specifically Episode 11. After pondering where the episode came from (and seeing that it had released 10 years ago), Reader concludes that it was the ARG's reward and begins watching it with Jerome. At the same time, Reader and Jerome go to the latter's phone and see the "RedRewards" image again, realizing that they hadn't done anything with their clue and that there had to be more secrets.
Reader notices stars on the image, which he and Jerome didn't know what to do with, so they retrace their steps and redo the entire ARG, paying closer attention to what they did. After reaching the image again, Reader and Jerome are clued into watching another Inspector Gadget video, which they do not want to watch. Instead, Reader and Jerome decide to try every combination of letters and websites, landing on the correct combination of "youtube.com" as the secret webpage.
Reader and Jerome find Mario's actual autopsy report on the secret webpage, confusing them as they had expected a YouTube link. After Reader mentions again that he and Jerome didn't know how to read autopsy reports, Jerome realizes that Mario isn't dead and wouldn't have an autopsy report. Reader and Jerome then go to McDonald's to call Monika again, who mentions that Mario is out of town. From this revelation, Reader concludes that Mario was not dead yet and that the next step was to wait until Mario's funeral.
Reader and Jerome proceed to sit on the couch and wait for Mario's funeral for years, during which their router is fixed after the third year. On the fifth year, a rabbit guy (later identified as Naxx Guyfieri) knocks on the door, who Reader and Jerome do not recognize. Naxx introduces himself as the rabbit king, lord and master of "Easter Spirit". He then mentions that Reader and Jerome are taking too long to solve the ARG but before he can finish, Jerome kills him. After this, Reader and Jerome proceed to kill Naxx in various ways every 3 days for several months, never letting him finish explaining why he was there. After another 5 years, Jerome realizes that maybe Naxx just wanted to talk to them, so they finally allow him to speak. Naxx explains that he was there to help them finish the ARG, but Reader and Jerome tune him out from boredom, eventually concluding that Naxx needs to die.
After Naxx finishes explaining, he asks Reader and Jerome if they understood. Instead, Reader and Jerome proceed to power up with "Fool's Spirit" and summon their Stands "Beader" and "Berome", before blasting Naxx with rainbow beams. After this, Reader and Jerome conclude that they had won the ARG, with the credits rolling.
After the credits roll, the video seemingly ends, but Reader proceeds to narrate this fake "video ending", revealing he and Jerome had been watching Episode 11 of The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis up until now. Reader expresses disappointment at the video and at it being the ARG's reward. Jerome agrees and uses language that Reader did not expect from him. Reader then says that he never watched SiIvaGunner again, for real this time, with Reader and Jerome also throwing out their YouTube television.
== Transcript ==
== Credits ==
Directors:
*Keeby and SparkBag
Editing:
*Nozobot
Artwork:
*Keeby
*circunflexo
*Nozobot
*minindo
*ackrostation
*PsychLantern
*601billionlazer
*LarryInc64
*Sarveproductions
*Grambam36
*probablyfishy
*Cosmic199X
*KiIvaKunner
*xinos
*Nernant
*SparkBag
*bobthetacocat
*AAM
*John Eiffeltower
*Count Cannoli
*Jiko Music
*Wyat_ttt
*BiteBox64
*Maggie
*123zc
*squiddosquidhead
*peepo173
*gideon florida
*My buddy James
*my good friend dom
*aeiouko
*BigBadBlob
*PBandJam
*ceyahdev
*lazyPea
*813N
*evilsk8r
*lilackittyfox
*KiIvaKunner's real and actual brother
*chelle
*Ethan Strauberry
Voice Actors:
*123zc - Reader, Chuck Norris
*Gadgetini Clone 2.0 - Himself
*Ogg - Grambam36
*Rivers Cuomo - funnybobb
*Eiffel Tower - Himself
*Monika - jeffrey the mailman
*Phoenix Wright - Captain Comedy
*Naxx Guyfieri - Janne Sala
Music:
*Bonus 1 - 
*Bonus 2 - Touch Detective
*Countdown - wolfman1405, insaneintherain
*YouTube Premiere Countdown Fusion Collab
*wheelcome to the siiva direct - wheel able
*Dombummel - Gerhard Trede
*dubstep remix i made of the walker texas ranger theme using wub machine
*Main Theme - The Price Is Right (DS)
*Dramatic "Scenes from a Postcard" - circunflexo
*Luigi Puzzle I - Toby Fox
*Clown Shoe - Pure West
*Timber Owls - 
*Story Transition - xinos
*New Age - Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing 12
*Sacred Somnom Woods with Gadget - Jiko Music
*Key to Tazmilly - Madinstance
*Door Knocks - Madinstance
*Shawty wanna make you hurt - Heboyi
*honksong - Deltarune
*Sled Racing - Rolobi
*The Famous Console Startups MIDI but with the Buddy Holly Soundfont
*ANOTHER HIM - Deltarune
*Buddy Holly but it's the Wii Theme
*Glass Joe's Intro - Punch Out
*The Eiffel Tower Theme Song (i'm blue) - Eiffel 65
*If I were GRN I would die - M&M
*Sunny Breeze - Snood
*Hawaiian Cocktail - Richard Myhill
*Pops - Casio SK-I
*Synth Popular - Jacob Kandlaker
*Mario
*Ringtone - 
*Logic and Tricks - 
*chuck mcgaijin - minindongolobongolos
*Mario
*Bonus Room Blitz (PAL Version) - toonlink
*Weapons Depot - R.L.99
*Leap of Faith - 
*The Fall of John Romero - eg_9371
*Sweet Little Dead Chungus - eg_9371
*Gentle Breeze
*Milli Vanilli - Mega Move Instrumental
*Dixie Beat (PAL Version) - lonk
*ASSTRUMPET
Special Thanks:
*Garfield
*Jesus
*Doug Walker
*Nape Weezer
*The SilvaGunner Team
Special Unthanks:
*gideon florida
*Heathcliff
and Viewers Like You. Thank You
== Trivia ==
*Like "The Lost Rip" and "Unusual Circumstances", this rip's story was posted to FanFiction.net as "Mystery of the SiIcret Gunner - A SiIvaGunner Fan Fiction" by the user nutshackwoodman34 at the same time as the video's release.
**The Fanfiction post differs from the story in video in that during the part where Reader is listing off names, "Noaka" is added between Ray William Johnson and Angry Joe.
*The full cover by Ogg and Inspector Gadget of the Johnny Cash cover of "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails was later uploaded on its own as the rip "hurt.ogg - Minecraft Education".
**The one featured in the video uses the rip "Dire, Dire Docks (OST Mix) - Super Mario 64" as the backing track, while the standalone version uses a different backing track with elements of the aforementioned rip.
== ARG ==
In the reviews of the FanFiction.net post of the aforementioned video's story is one by the user "noaka" (which also was the only review at the time of the aforementioned video's upload) that reads:
*hey have you guys seen this? /2iP8-S0LEbs
Using the provided string as a YouTube video ID leads to the final reward of this branch, "Holiday Spirit [FILE-INT-FOOLS] - Haltmann's Archives".
Category:Keeby10
Category:SparkBag
Category:Nozobot
Category:circunflexo
Category:minindo
Category:ackrostation
Category:PsychLantern
Category:601billionlazer
Category:LarryInc64
Category:Sarvéproductions
Category:Grambam36
Category:probablyfishy
Category:Cosmic199X
Category:KiIvaKunner
Category:xinos
Category:Nernant
Category:BobTheTacocat
Category:Alexander A. McDonald
Category:Count Cannoli
Category:Jiko Music
Category:Wyat_t
Category:BiteBox64
Category:Maggie
Category:123zc
Category:squiddosquidhead
Category:peepo173
Category:aeiouko
Category:BigBadBlob
Category:PBandJam
Category:ceyahdev
Category:LazyPeaster
Category:813N
Category:evilsk8r
Category:lilackittyfox
Category:chelle
Category:Ethan Strauberry
Category:funnybobb
Category:jeffrey the mailman
Category:CaptainComedy
Category:Janne Sala
Category:wolfman1405
Category:insaneintherain
Category:wheel able
Category:Madinstance
Category:Heboyi
Category:Rolobi
Category:ChickenSuitGuy
Category:M&M
Category:toonlink
Category:Premiered videos
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Category:Rips featuring Grand Dad
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Category:Rips referencing other rips