Moving In

The sun is setting in Iacon, and the warm colors of dusk falling illuminate the streets as both mechs and femmes wander the streets, heading back to their hab suites, or to a local dive to socialize. 
 And sitting just outside a tall, pristine residential complex is a green opticked miner named Exodus. He's waiting patiently, staring expectantly out at the street, scanning the area every now and then for a .. particular someone.
Time hasn't made Panacea any less of a busy person. In fact, she's probably become more busy as people keep sticking her with responsibilities, not all of them pleasant. Still, she has some time to spare every now and then, or, rather, she can make the time when she wants, or needs, to. It isn't long before Exodus will catch sight of the medic femme.
The green opticked miner stands, grinning broadly when he sees the female medic. Exodus steps towards her and embraces her fondly and gently. "I've missed you.”
Panacea leans her cheek against Exodus' chest during the embrace and lets out a sigh. "I know; I've been busy," she says. "When the mines first closed down, I never imagined I would end up working for the government of all people." She shakes her head, some part of her still having a nagging feeling that she shouldn't be satisfied with that. "But how have /you/ been?" she asks.
"Don't worry about it," he says affectionately, stroking her helm softly. "I've been great," he says, "I joined the Autobots," he replies, beaming at her. 
 He steps back from the embrace, and gestures towards the tall, glassy structure in front of him. "I got a new place," Exodus says a little timidly, "and I'd really like to show you. Shall we?"
Panacea nods her head at this with a bit of a smile. "What made you decide to join?" she asks as she moves to follow Exodus. "Decided it was simply time? Or was it something more…insistant?"
"Well," he says with a small smile. "I met a girl. She was an Autobot and seemed to know what she was doing. At the same time, she seemed lonely and I knew I had to choose a side, anyway. And I don't condone all the violence Megatron instigates, so the choice seemed pretty clear to me." 
 They enter the large complex and head for the elevator at the end of the hallway.
"Which girl would that be?" inquires Panacea congenially. "And Megatron /is/ far too violent. All that rage; it's likely not healthy for him and it /certainly/ isn't healthy for the people of Cybertron," she states. "Still, I pity him more than anything for that very reason." She shrugs her shoulders. It's quite likely if the Miner from Tarn heard that statement, he'd rip her in two.
"Me too," Exodus says sadly, shaking his helm. "I knew him before he got all.. you know, the way he is now. He was a good guy." 
 "Her name is Arcee," Exodus says, grinning. 
 Shortly after they get off the elevator, they arrive in front of two double doors at the end of hallway on the fourth floor.
Panacea ahhhhhs softly. "I think I've met her at least once," she says about Arcee. "Pink femme, right? If so, she seemed nice." She shrugs her shoulders, apparently not the kind to be jealous or possessive. "As for Megatron, well, it might have been inevitable. If it wasn't him, it would have been someone else. Miners weren't at all well treated in many of the places. At least I was there to take care of the ones I worked on. Some places didn't bother with medics at all."
"Yeah," Exodus nods, "Really pretty, really sweet..." Then he grins. "But she doesn't even compare with you." He draws her into another short embrace. 
 "Of course, they were so lucky to have you too." Exodus rubs her helm affectionately before opening the double doors. 
 The space they walk into is immense and well designed. The far wall is completely transparent, providing the two of them with a wondrous view of Iacon. 
 "Well, what do you think?"
"Definitely an impressive view," Panacea says. "And a lot of space. I imagine that you didn't picture yourself in a place like this back in your mining days," she muses. "There's still a lot of problems, but at least some people have a better chance to help themselves now." 'If it lasts' remains unsaid. "So, what will you be doing for the Autobots? Where are you stationed?" Of course she's interested in hearing the details.
He presses a soft kiss onto her fore helm. "Yeah. I hope it lasts.." he says, glancing out the window briefly. 
 "Here, in Iacon." Exodus sits down on the couch, and pulls Panacea into his lap, smiling. "Not sure yet, still training with hopes to get into Intel with Arcee."
"That generally means less fighting, right?" asks Panacea, expressing some concern. "Not that I don't think you would be able to handle yourself. At least, physically. Violence /does/ things to a person." She leans in against Exodus' larger, sturdier frame. The sort of frame that would make someone feel safe.
He laughs a little and wraps his arms around her gently. "Yeah, I should hope so. And thanks, I don't prefer it anyway." 
 "How about you?" he mumbles in her audio receptors, "what are you working on right now, at your job?”
"Trying to make people stronger, discerning weaknesses and trying to alleviate them," Panacea says. There's not a lot she can really /say/ about her job. "I'm not supposed to talk too much about it." She's more of a government scientist than an Autobot field medic, that's for certain. "But if I manage any break throughs, perhaps we can put a quicker end to things, which means fewer sparks will have to be snuffed out.”
Exodus suddenly frowns, pulling away a little. "... like investigative experimentation?" His brow ridges furrow. "Okay, I get that. But what do you mean, fewer sparks snuffed out? You aren't using people as test subjects, are you?" His green optics search her expression, looking worried.
"I meant that if the war is over sooner, sooner people will be killed in action," Panacea says solemnly. "We live a long time when violence doesn't end us, so war can stretch out as long as a handful of us hold a grudge," she goes on to say. "How many people have to die fighting before we realize it's not the way?”
Exodus' concerned expression deepens. "Yeah, I understand, but you didn't answer my question," he says, looking hurt. "About whether you experimented on people or not.."
Panacea smiles faintly. "How does someone know if something works or not if it is never tried? Science works through experimentation. First there's theory, and then there's minor tests, but eventually things have to be tried on a person to see if it works," she says, patiently. "What I'm trying to do, it's too risky to try on anyone that doesn't want to let it happen," she says. "I'm not sure if that makes it less objectionable." There's a slight quaver in her voice.
"...." Exodus' expression crumples, and he lets go of her. "Pan..." He looks away, ashamed. 
 "How long has this been going on? And... why do you keep doing it?" He tilts her chin upward, those beautiful green optics looking deep into hers.
"A while," Panacea says, not trying to be evasive, but more that the time slipped away while she was working. It does that. "Why do I keep doing it? To give people who are fighting a better chance. The Decepticons are getting /more/ powerful, not less. Which means we need more help." Moving away, she paces around for a bit, sensing that need for distance that comes with distaste. "How do you think people learned what did and didn't work? Sometimes it's trial and error, and sometimes scientists and medics have to reach out to learn what they can."
Exodus watches her sadly, looking grieved. He stares at the floor, not saying anything for a little bit. "You have the right motive," he says, "but using other people as a stepping stone for that... it's not right, Pan. Even if the results help people in the future, think of how many innocents got hurt in the process just so that you /might/ get a reasonable outcome." He reaches for her hand. "And what if you don't? What if you don't get any results…."
Panacea tilts her head one way, then the other, as she considers the words, the question. "I've never been very brave," she starts, slowly. "A long while ago I was backed into a corner, so I took the way out that kept me safe. Relatively." She sighs. "It took me in a direction I never anticipated. But they weren't /my/ ideas to start with, and my methods are far less invasive than those who came before. I might not be the best person, but maybe we're getting closer to it, person by person." She pauses for a long while. "I've probably said too much already, but I'm also not a very good liar.”
"You don't need to be," he says softly, squeezing her hand gently. "You just need to know how to say no sometimes. And I'm always here, if you need someone to support you," Exodus says. But when she says they're getting closer, he just looks hurt and grieved again. "And if you're not? Pan, you have to stand up for what's right, even if it was never your idea to do those things in the first place.”
"I can't fix the whole planet on my own," Panacea says in a low voice. "I tried helping, one person at a time, slowly. But that just seemed to get me in trouble." She shakes her head several times. "I saw what they were doing; it wasn't right, but there were a lot more of them than there was of me. So I caved. I thought, I could do my part to make things better, to ease them away from the things they were doing wrong. But I overestimated myself." Pause. "Just as you overestimated me." And at that, she sounds hurt herself.
Exodus listens intently, watching her sadly. After a moment, he pulls her into his warm and safe embrace, drawing her into a long, slow and passionate kiss. 
 When he finally pulls away, he peers deeply at her. And Panacea won't find a trace of judgement or harshness in his kind expression. "I know you can't, but if everyone thought that way, no one would ever make a difference. Sometimes, just one person can make all the difference. And I will treat you as if you were already what you ought to be, because that will help you become what you are fully capable of being. I want you to know something. I love you, and always will, unconditionally.”
Panacea actually shudders; the large miner will be able to feel the tremble. Her return kiss is somewhat subdued as she has one of those moments where she can feel the weight of the world crushing down on her. "The world would be a better place with more people like you in it," she says, and there's some regret there, that sense that she can't label herself among those as much as she would have liked to, as she had always thought she'd be able to in her ‘youth'.
His arms close around her a little more tightly. "Hey, hey," he says softly, "take it easy. I'll always be here, to be your strong and steady, no matter what." Exodus' face lights dim a little with embarrassment, and he laughs. "You should know, that you've made all the difference in my life. And you don't have to take it all on yourself, to fix everything. Just stand up for what you know is right, and that will go far. I promise."
"Thank you," Panacea says, and she does mean it. Or she thinks she does. But in some ways it is even harder to live with such acceptance, such a firm belief that things will turn out for the better. Feeling that shame, it hurt, but such overwhelming support is a lot to live up to. "I'm going to try harder. To be better." After all, she's in charge, right? At least of her project. Against the Senate and Prime, she's still nothing.
"And that's all that matters," he says passionately, "if you tried. At least you tried. And didn't cave." Exodus smiles. "Need I say you're welcome? I know you need it." 
 His hand traces gently under her chin. "There's something else I'd like to show you," he says softly.
Panacea nods her head at this, though she's still feeling a bit subdued. "What is it?" she wants to know, mostly out of curiosity and partially because it might take the scrutiny off her for long enough for her to regain more of her usual composure. She sets her shoulders back a bit and tries to relax. It's a lot easier to feel brave here, talking to Exodus, than it is when she's facing down her bosses.
Exodus slides off the couch and takes her hand, smiling as he playfully pulls her down the hallway to their right. At the end of the hallway is a door, which opens up into a large bedroom with an adjoining balcony that over looks the city. It's spacious... and beautiful. From here, Iacon looks magnificent. 
 "I know that it would be more of a commute if you lived here," he says, "but it's all yours if you want it. I want to be around for you as much as possible--if you lived here, it would make it that much easier..." he meets her gaze steadily, taking both of her hands in his broad ones, hopeful.
It would be fair enough to say the view was breath taking, if that phrase meant as much to a race that doesn't have lungs and a strong oxygen dependancy. "The commute doesn't matter. But, are you sure with what I told you today that this will be...comfortable...for you?" After all, it's best to clear up these matters first. Most likely he hadn't expected such information to come pouring out of her tonight when he brought her here.
He pulls her closer. "Of course. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have asked." A pause. "I would do anything for you." But as soon as those words leave Exodus' vocoders, he frowns, and suddenly looks withdrawn. He lets go of her hands. 
 But as quickly as his moment of uncertainty comes, it goes. And he embraces her, his optics bright. "Does that mean yes...? Please say it does..”
"Only if you help me move my stuff," Panacea says, trying to ease the tension with a little levity. "I think I'm going to need your strength in the coming days. Things are only going to get harder, lonlier, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather see things through with." She lowers her optics a trifle, "Or who I would rather cheer to victory.”
Exodus laughs, and picks her up, spinning around before setting her down. "Of course, babe, don't you know, that's all I did before I became an Autobot." He presses a light kiss onto her lips. 
 "Yeah, me too. Same here," he says, lifting her chin gently. "You'll make it through. /We'll/ make it through. I promise."
Panacea is much less subdued as she presses back with a kiss this time, allowing some of the metaphorical weight lifted from her shoulders. At least it's been a little over twenty thousand years since she moved last. "We'll get the move done between duties," she says, taking a moment to slip in that practical little detail. "I'm sure they'll be keeping you pretty busy."
"They are," Exodus says, "but I'll make time, don't worry," he says, his green optics dancing. He hands her a key to the flat. 
 "I'll see you soon, then?" he says, as he shows her to the door. "If you need help, well you know where I'll be and how to reach me." He watches her fondly, waving mildly in farewell. And in his mind, he's already counting down the breems to when he'll next see her.