Kick-Ass 3

Kick-Ass 3 is the fourth and final film in the Kick-Ass (film series) and set in the Millarworld.
==Cast==
Paul Butcher as Officer Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass
Allissa Skovbye as Mindy McCready/Hit-Girl
Graham Phillips as Chris Genovese
Robert De Niro as Don Rocco "Ice Man" Genovese
Myles Jeffrey as Marty Eisenberg/Battle Guy 
Zach Mills as Todd Haynes/Ass-Kicker 
Ned Bellamy as Captain Vic Gigante/Skull and Bones 
Damon Wayans as Doctor Gravity 
Michael Cera as Insect Man
Eva Mendes as Night Bitch 
Harry Knowles as Tony/The Juicer
Joaquin Phoenix as Lieutenant Stripes 
Taraji P. Henson as Moon Bird 
Eric Winter as The All-Seeing Eye 
Chase Crawford as The Enforcer
Emma Stone as Valerie 
Emily Blunt as Angie Genovese
Brittany Snow as Claire 
Chris Zylka as Officer Gary Hegarty
Bryan Cranston as Dr. Alex White 
Lee Pace as Damon McCready 
Chazz Palminteri as Frankie 
Meagan Good as Jodie 
Idris Elba as Moscow 
Rupert Grint as Tay Weez 
Vincent D'Onofrio as Billy Schutz 
Jack Quaid as Skybird 
Charlize Theron as Kathleen Williams 
Blair Underwood as Captain Marcus Williams 
Susan Sarandon as Mrs. Zane
Jason George as Detective Frank/Skull and Bones 
Timothy Olyphant as Jimmy Lizewski 
Gwyneth Paltrow as Mrs. Lizewski
Morris Chestnut as Pedro 
D.B. Woodside as Ivan 
Christopher Gorham as Jimmy 
Eric Stonestreet as Joe 
Laurence Fishburne as Chuck 
Atticus Mitchell as Jordy 
Benedict Wong as Tony Ke Quan 
Gabriel Iglasias as Pedro 
Benedict Cumberbatch as Paulie 
Carrie-Anne Moss as Matilda 
Jorge Garcia as Ignatius 
Jacob Tremblay as Paul McQue/Kick-Ass II 
Gabriel Basso as Jason Korthof
==Plot==
At the maximum security prison, as it rains heavily, Hit-Girl writes a letter to Kick-Ass telling him that if he's reading this, she's either dead or been captured, but she leaves all of her stuff to him. As the police van arrives and the guards take aim at her, Mindy writes that if she's been captured by their "pathetic, liberal justice system," she's left instructions to help free her, along with $2 million dollars, all of her weapons, vehicles and crime-fighting equipment, along with the schematics of the high-security institute where they might be holding her. As she steps out of the van, Mindy writes that her dad always taught her to plan ahead and that she's updated this info on a regular basis and knows that a jailbreak is a big favor, especially for a superhero trying to make a name for himself. A wounded Mindy steps out of the truck as the guards aim their weapons at her. She writes that all of the goons she's killed deserved it and that they're locking her up when there are actual psychopaths out there. At Hit-Girl's safehouse, Kick-Ass, Battle Guy and Ass-Kicker reads the letter, which says that she wants him to lie low and make sure his team memorizes the profiles, shift schedules and security footage she put together. It then says that it won't be easy, but if they train hard and prep properly, then they should have her back on the streets soon and that she knows it sounds hard, but we heroes specialize in the impossible and that there's nobody she trusts more than him, along with a P.S. that says that if he spends any of that money on comics, she'll castrate him. After reading the letter, Battle Guy tells Kick-Ass that this is crazy and they can't just bust her out of a high-security prison, which is the craziest idea ever. Kick-Ass though says that they have to since Hit-Girl has saved their lives a thousand times and that he can't say no when she needs help. Ass-Kicker though points out that they're just geeks and can't do this in real life and even asks where they would even start, but Kick-Ass points out that they start by doing what she says, by lying low and let things settle down and then put the team back together. 6 weeks later, Dave, Marty, and Todd arrive outside the maximum security prison, where they meet up with Doctor Gravity, Insect Man, Night Bitch, All-Seeing Eye, and Moon-Bird, who all greet each other. Dave then asks them if they're all up for this, but Doctor Gravity says that Hit-Girl is the role model for every real superhero and that breaking her out is the biggest honor. Dave then asks if they're memorized the prison's ground plan, but All-Seeing Eye says that they know it backward and forward and could find her cell blindfolded. Night Bitch then says that she's done 100 situps every day since he contacted them and that they aren't going to mess this up, which Dave is pleased with. Dave then asks if everyone has their swipe cards, which Mindy made and will allow them to override any system in the prison, which they'll need to get inside and get back out. They then remove their civilian clothes and change into their costumes, where Dave asks Todd if he has the smoke bombs and if Moon Bird has the sonic alarms, which they both have with them, with Moon Bird pointing out that she made the sonic alarms non-lethal. Dave then says that if it goes according to plan, they should rendezvous in 14 minutes. He and Battle Guy then bump knuckles as they put their masks on. Kick-Ass then leads Justice Forever towards the prison. As they walk, Ass-Kicker says that it looks more intimidating up close and the gates are bigger than online, but Kick-Ass assures him that they'll be fine. They then stop at the wall, where Battle Guy panics and says that he had a dream about this where they all got arrested and ended up in prison, but Insect Man or Todd was murdered. Kick-Ass though tells him to shut up, but Battle Guy says that he just remembered it. Doctor Gravity though says that he can't do it, he thought he could, but he's now having a panic attack. Kick-Ass then admits that he's nervous too, until they get spotted by a guard, causing them all to run back to their cars. Doctor Gravity drops his gravity pole and is forced to leave it behind. Inside her cell, Mindy can hear them. The guards brush it off as some punks. As they keep running, Kick-Ass asks if the guards saw them or recognized their costumes, but Battle Guy says that that's as close to a prison as he wants to be. As they run back to the cars and take off their costumes, Moon Bird asks about Hit-Girl, but Dave says that they need to keep training, which Todd agrees with and says that they should keep training until they're more skilled. Doctor Gravity then suggests that they do a tribute to her by fighting crime in her name or name the new HQ after her, which Dave agrees with and says that it would mean a lot and send a message that they haven't forgotten her. Dave then says that they need to leave before the guards go looking for them. In her cell, Mindy calls all of them pussies. Dave then narrates that they weren't just cowards, they needed to make sure they were properly trained, but then says that 6 months later, they still haven't saved her, but freeing her is at the top of his to-do list. 6 months later, as it snows, Dave stands in front of his parents' graves, where he narrates how this is him brooding at his parents' grave and that his mom died from a hemorrhage, but his dad was killed by a supervillain and that he can't believe he considered giving this up and that standing here makes him realize it's his destiny that he's a superhero every Monday, Thursday and every other Sunday. He then narrates that it's cooler to have him brood in a black coat since he tried it in jeans, but it seemed inappropriately casual. As he films him on his phone, Todd says that he looks like a young Bruce Wayne. Dave then says that the more he stands here, the more he wants to do something honorable. Todd then says that he's jealous and wishes his parents were murdered and says that he blames them being alive for the lack of direction in his life. He then asks to borrow the coat and get some photos by his grandma's grave, who, despite dying from an angina attack, is the closest thing he has to a personal tragedy, which Dave agrees to. He then kneels down in front of their graves and says that he wants to try some shots with him kneeling down and his head bowed like Batman, which Todd says looks awesome. It then showed Dave graduating from high school, getting his diploma from his principal as he narrates how school uneventfully ended and isn't sure he learned much. As he and Todd take a photo in their gowns, Dave narrates how Marty turned out to be a genius and got accepted into Harvard to study medicine, but he and Todd weren't ready for college. It then shows him and Todd working at a fast-food restaurant, where Dave narrates how they thought about taking a landscape gardening course, but then decided to make some money working at a fast-food place and that they rented an apartment together in Hoboken, which was all they could afford at the time. It then showed him and Todd working at a comic store, where Dave narrates how they work part-time at the comic store on the weekends and admits that you would think he would get as far away from the comic book world as possible after everything he went through. At the store, the comic owner talks about how every action hero is named either John or Jack and names a few, until he and Todd get into an argument about the name of the main character from Taken. Later, Dave and Todd run into an alleyway and change into their costumes, where Dave narrates that if it wasn't for his hero fetish, Dad wouldn't be dead and Katie wouldn't be attacked and the only reason he's not in jail is because his dad said he was Kick-Ass, which was his final gift to him. He then narrates that the reason he keeps doing this is because he likes helping people, but also because he screwed up Dave's life so bad, he needs to be Kick-Ass more than ever as he and Ass-Kicker start walking the streets. They then stop in front of a bar, where Kick-Ass asks Ass-Kicker if he's ready, which he says he is. Inside, a group of men play pool, where one of them mocks a man named Frankie that if he misses this shot, he'll give him a blowjob personally, but Frankie tells him to just take the shot. Suddenly, the lights go off and when they come back on, Kick-Ass is on the pool table, where he tells them he's investigating a series of robberies in the area and then tries to intimidate them into telling him what he wants to know. Frankie though complains to the bartender, Jodie that he's messing up the pool balls again. Jodie then yells at him to stop messing with the power supply because every time he turns off the lights, she has to reset the registers, which Kick-Ass apologizes for. Jodie then asks what he's talking about and that they should tell him if it means getting rid of him. A man named Moscow then says that it was Tay Weez, who lives on East 136th street in Apartment 4F, number 822 and then tells him to tell Tay Moscow says hello. Moscow then says that Tay owes him money and he'll find it hilarious if he gets arrested by "Kermit the Frog." Kick-Ass thanks him and then tells Ass-Kicker over their communicator to hit the lights again. The lights then turn off and quickly come back on, where Jodie complains about how she hates those kids. Later, Kick-Ass climbs down the side of an apartment building, where he narrates that he could've gone in through the door, but he wanted to make sure Tay Weez didn't try to escape through the window, plus grappling down the side of a building is awesome. Inside, Ass-Kicker asks if the apartment is 4F, which Kick-Ass says it is, since he remembered due to the Fantastic Four. Outside the window, Kick-Ass says that they need to do this at the same time, since it'll scare him and they can end this within seconds. Ass-Kicker though isn't sure if he can kick the door down on the first try, but Kick-Ass tells him he'll be fine as long as he hits the door where he told him to. He then counts down as he leaps off of the building and crashes through the window as Ass-Kicker kicks the door down. Kick-Ass though lands on a pile of packages, causing Ass-Kicker to ask if he's ok. They then search the apartment, where Ass-Kicker asks if they have the right apartment, but Kick-Ass says it is and tells him to stay alert. They then walk into Tay's room and find Tay Weez passed out drunk on his bed. They then tie his arms behind his back with zip-ties as Ass-Kicker asks if he's fine. Kick-Ass though says that he's just drunk and should make sure he doesn't choke on his vomit. Ass-Kicker then leaves behind a business card, which he points out that Spiderman used to do in the old cartoons and looks elegant and lets them know that heroes were here. The card reads, "With compliments, your freindly neighborhood superheroes." Kick-Ass though points out he spelled friendly wrong. They then leave the building, where Kick-Ass takes his phone out and tells him they need to leave before letting the cops know about Tay Weez. At the safehouse, Kick-Ass narrates how tensions were high since it's been 7 weeks since anyone made an arrest and that a new hero called the Juicer was annoying him. At the base, Kick-Ass berates Juicer, who's playing video games, that this is Hit-Girl's private HQ and he can't treat it like his apartment since he has his stuff everywhere. Juicer though says that he's only staying here till he gets back on his feet since he's in some debt and is living here to save money. Ass-Kicker says that they don't mind him staying, but he needs to treat the base with respect and not sit around playing video games. Juicer though points out that there aren't any supervillains and that most of the other heroes don't show up to meetings anymore and that he's focusing on his training. Kick-Ass though mocks him and says Hit-Girl would be furious if she saw how he's abusing her father's base. Suddenly, the Hit-Mobile drives into the base, where a woman named Claire tells Juicer to help with the groceries and that she got the Avengers' box-set so they can have a Marvel movie marathon. Juicer then introduces her as his girlfriend, Claire. Kick-Ass then confronts him about not having money, but Juicer claims the movies are for "research." Kick-Ass then points to a sign of the original Justice Forever team and says that they need to reassess what this team means and quotes their motto, "Evil prevails when good men do nothing" and he's sick of them all doing nothing. Kick-Ass then says that he's having a meeting tomorrow and anyone who doesn't show up is kicked off the team. Juicer says he understands as he opens up a can of beer. Back at their apartment, Todd is on his laptop, while Dave makes sandwiches for his patrol, where he narrates how he was making PBJs for his night patrol while Todd was busy picking up women on a mature singles dating site and that he's been pushing him to sign up, but he thinks it's exploitative. Todd then asks what's the problem with 2 adults and points out that they're getting nowhere with girls their own age. Dave though says that targeting women based on age is creepy and pedophilia, but Todd points out that the women are older than them, in their 50's. Dave though points out that they're the kids and says that he thinks superheroes should play it straight and have a high moral standard, but Todd just calls him weird and asks when he'll be home. Dave wraps a sheet around his costume as he says he'll be back around 3 and will just walk around for a few hours to make sure things are fine. Todd then tells him to be careful as Dave leaves the apartment. He then leaves the sheet in a trash can and puts his mask on outside. He then wonders if he left the iron on when someone suddenly put a gun to his head as a gang of punks surround him.
Kick-Ass then asks the thugs if they're planning a mugging or a robbery, but when they say it's a robbery, he asks where the victim is. The muggers point out that he's the victim and demand that he hand over his phone, money, and boots. Kick-Ass though punches 2 of them in the face and then punches them in the crotches and shoves them into the other goons. He then elbows another goon in the face, but the goon kicks him in the crotch, causing him to fall to the ground, where the thugs say that no matter how hard he trains, he'll never beat a punch to the nuts. One of the goons then stomps on his face and then point a gun at him. Suddenly, a car driving down the road stops in front of them, causing the goons to run off, but not without taking Kick-Ass's watch. A woman then gets out of the car to check on the injured Kick-Ass, where she asks if she's ok, but Kick-Ass just berates himself for dropping his left guard. The woman then tells him she's a nurse and offers to take him to the emergency room, but he tells her that he's fine, due to the surgeries he got after getting hit by a car, he can barely feel pain. She then offers to give him a ride home, when Kick-Ass realizes that the thugs took his dad's watch. The woman then tells him that she just got off her shift and can drive him home, but when Kick-Ass asks if this is troublesome for her, but she sarcastically says that it's the least he can do since he keeps the streets clean. Kick-Ass then gets in the car with her, where she asks if this happens often, but Kick-Ass says that he's actually been getting pretty good since he now trains every morning. He then says that he was taught to go for the leader since it puts the others on the defensive, but then wonders what went wrong and just figures he's tired. The woman then asks if that superhero team is still going on, but he tells her that they've been lying low for a few months, but they're planning a big mission this weekend, due to the mob resurfacing and having half the cops in their pocket. The woman then says that she heard a rumor he was patrolling this area and asks if he lives in Jersey, but he refuses to answer and says that he has to protect his secret identity and with what happened last year, he must be careful now. He then tells her to drop him off here on the corner. She then asks if he said he lives another mile up, but Kick-Ass says he doesn't mind walking, since it's only 10 minutes away. The woman then mocks him for being paranoid. She then says that, despite the circumstances, she enjoyed meeting her first superhero and introduces herself as Valerie. Kick-Ass then introduces himself, but she says that she already knows his name and tells him to be careful and then drives off. Angie Genovese, Chris's mother, writes in her diary that the hardest thing about being the mother of a supervillain is the unpredictability and that, at least with Johnny, she only heard whispers but with Chris, people weren't afraid to look her in the eye. As she walks down the street with groceries, a woman greets her and Angie greets her, but the woman says that she knows she doesn't recognize her or she wouldn't have stopped. The woman then says her brother was one of the Motherfucker's victims when he and his gang attacked his neighborhood, leaving her sister-in-law without a husband and his kids without a father and blames her for "shatting out the Anti-Christ." She then spits in her face, causing Angie to drop her groceries as the woman calls her a whore before her husband leads her away. Angie then drops her groceries and walks away, wiping the spit from her face as she apologizes but has never met these people. As she drives to the hospital, she writes that she's had 3 different homes and jobs since Chris went to jail, but then someone at the market or gas station always recognizes her face from the papers. As she pulls into the parking garage, she then writes that her therapist says she needs to move away and that she's looked at houses in Miami and San Diego, but has always had a fantasy of living in a house in Vermont, surrounded by trees, but she can't leave yet, not with Chris still here and writes that it's her duty as a mother to take care of her responsibilities. She then walks into Chris's hospital room, where she's greeted by Rocco, Johnny and Ralphie's older brother. Angie says she didn't know he was visiting and says she can come back later if he's talking to Chris. Rocco though says that he's the one intruding on a mother's time with her son and came by to tell Chris the good news. Vic Gigante then says that Chris will be released within a week and that Rocco took care of everything. Angie asks how since Chris killed dozens of people with witnesses, but Rocco says that they only saw a boy in a mask and is making one of his men take the blame, leaving them with nothing on Chris and even says that his attorneys might get a lawsuit for 6 months of "wrongful imprisonment." When she asks if he can do that, Rocco says that he's the Don and he can do anything, especially with Vic, who's been promoted to Captain, and his police friends on his side. Vic then says that he was promoted 2 days ago, since the commissioner insisted that he take it after arresting Hit-Girl and he wasn't gonna say no to more money. Rocco then compliments his new security and asks a guard for his name, but Vic says his name is Officer Gary Hegarty, who has a wife and kids and isn't interested, but Rocco says he should be very interested if he has a family. He then tells Officer Hegarty to come to dinner with him in his uniform, which Vic agrees to arrange. He then puts his hat on and says that this city can't run itself and says he needs to get back to business and tells Officer Hegarty he'll see him tonight and then leaves with Vic. Angie then asks Chris why he didn't tell her that Rocco was in town, but Chris says he didn't know and was just as scared as her. He then asks if he's getting out of jail and says that he's read all of the stuff about him on Twitter and will get killed as soon as he leaves. Angie then writes that all Chris does is whine and complain about how hard things are for him and that this wasn't part of his plan and asks if he thinks this was part of her plan, growing him for 9 months and breast-feeding him to turn him into a social pariah. At her house, Angie sits in her bed where she writes how Johnny only killed for business, but Chris killed for fun and that she can't leave New York until she's fulfilled her responsibilities to kill Chris. At work, Dave tells Todd how Valerie tweeted him again and asked him out to lunch tomorrow, but Todd says he should be suspicious and that she might be a villain luring him into a trap or humiliate him. Dave says he thought the same thing, but he thinks he's just being paranoid, but Todd says he's right to be paranoid since they're not the type of guys women want and thinks that there's something sinister going on. Their boss then orders them to speak less and work more, but Todd asks him if he's excited about getting the team back together tonight, which Dave says he is. That night, Kick-Ass meets with the others, where he tells them about Rocco Genovese, the eldest Genovese brother who inherited New York from his father back in 1989 and was the most feared gangster back in the day. All-Seeing Eye though asks what happened to him and why they haven't heard of him, but Kick-Ass says that he got erased from history and went back to Sicily, where he worked behind the scenes and has a taste for young blonde men. Night Bitch though asks why he decided to return now, but Kick-Ass says he's the most ruthless gangster ever and since Hit-Girl killed all of the other leaders, they're running low on leaders. He then says that his nickname in Sicily was Ice Man, because he killed all of his victims with an ice pick and came to New York 2 weeks ago and is planning on building a supermob by uniting all of the gangs on the east coast. All-Seeing Eyes then asks if they're going to go intimidate him, but Kick-Ass says that they should to let them know that even with Hit-Girl in prison, they shouldn't be less afraid. Doctor Gravity though says that he's not going to kill anybody, which Kick-Ass agrees with and says that the scene from Batman: Year One is how he wants it play out, the scene where all of the gangsters are having a feast and Batman blows up the wall and delivers a speech and plans on doing it on Rocco and his goons during Chris's get-out-of-jail party this weekend. He then visualizes it as the wall explodes and the floodlights flash, and they walk in on a carpet of dry ice where Kick-Ass recites the speech. Insect Man then says that he's always wanted to do that, but asks if they have any dry ice. Kick-Ass says they do, due to Hit-Girl and Big Daddy spending a fortune on crime-fighting equipment, leaving them with a vast arsenal of supplies. Juicer though suggests they try something less "suicidal" like taking care of some internet trolls he has his eye on and that they should report them to the social media authorities. Juicer though points out that they're still banned from wearing masks, despite the cops being more relaxed about it, they could still arrest them. Kick-Ass says they should get arrested doing the right thing and then asks for a vote on whether to take down trolls instead of his Batman: Year One plan. When no one answers, Kick-Ass tells Juicer that they've decided, but Juicer points out that Hitler used similar tactics to control the dim-witted populace. Kick-Ass though says that either way, they're doing the raid this Saturday and says he's welcome to leave. Juicer though flips him off and says he's not going anywhere, he's staying where he is. At the prison, Angie parks in the parking lot with a gun in her hand, where she writes a thank you to Johnny about teaching her how to smuggle a gun as long as your willing to pay. In the hospital wing, a janitor walks into Chris's room, where Chris is watching something on his iPad. The janitor asks what he's watching, where Chris says he's watching the X-Men animated series on iTunes. The janitor though asks if supervillains aren't supposed to like superheroes, but Chris says he wasn't always a villain and he used to have a Wolverine costume he wore all the time and only took it off when it was being washed. He then says that he never planned any of this and that since he was a kid, he's always wanted to be a superhero and doesn't know how he ended up like this. As Angie walks past the first checkpoint, she greets Pedro the guard. Back in the hospital room, the janitor tells Chris that he and his brother used to be superheroes and even started a team before he and his brother worked as hitmen for the mob and even did a few jobs for his father. He then asks Chris if he remembers Sal Bertolinni a.k.a. Colonel Stars, revealing himself as Lieutenant Stripes, much to Chris's horror. Stripes then puts his hand over his mouth and tells him to not bother pushing the button since he disconnected it and shouldn't bother struggling either, due to him having weak arms. As he continues to smother Chris, he says that he used to do this back then and was good at it and is closing his airways until his heart bursts, as Chris continues to struggle. Angie continues walking down the hallway, while Lieutenant Stripes says that he hopes he's sorry for Sal, the girl, and all of the people he's hurt and hopes that the Lord has mercy on his soul as he continues smothering Chris. Angie passes by another checkpoint where she greets the guard, Ivan. As he continues smothering him, Lieutenant Stripes says that he's really struggling and holding on. Suddenly, Angie enters the room, where she panics and fires a barrage of bullets at Lieutenant Stripes, killing him, leaving Chris and Angie in shock as his body collapses on the ground, with Chris covered in his blood.
In solitary, a psychiatrist named Dr. Alex White greets Mindy and tells her he's been assigned by the authorities to supervise her rehabilitation and says he knows her last 2 psychiatrists quit due to stress and ill health and that she's been moved to the bottom of the prison for the safety of the other inmates. He then says that the riots she's started were unfortunate, but then says that he still believes they can work together and make progress. Mindy stands behind the glass in the shadows as Dr. White tells her that he's not gonna lie and say she'll soon be free, but if she cooperates, it'll make the rest of her years more comfortable. He then says that he'd like to see her mom again and even replace her cell neighbor, who "unexpectedly" died, as he was killed on the toilet. Dr. White then says that he'd also like to figure out about her sleep problems she's been having and has been waking up in tears every morning and asks her if she'd like to talk about that, or start things slow at first. Inside, Mindy takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up, causing Dr. White to ask how she got his cigarettes. Mindy though says that there's a prisoner in the east wing named Schutz who's been dealing heroin to the other prisoners, which she forbade along with any other drugs in her prison. She then tells Dr. White to tell Schutz that since he's new, she'll let him off with a warning, but if he keeps selling heroin, she'll castrate him. As she continues smoking, she says that she runs a nice, clean prison after she took over all of the gangs and enforces a restriction on drug abuse using capital punishment. Dr. White then asks her how she runs the gangs in here, but Mindy just says that, despite being in the cage, she comes and goes as she pleases and enforce any punishment she wants. Dr. White though asks if she does it even with the cameras on. Mindy just smiles as she puts her cigarette out on her palm and retreats into the shadows, where she tells him to tell Schutz to stay clean. In Midtown, Dave, as Kick-Ass, is on a date at a diner with Valerie, where she says that she was surprised by the costume and asks if he always wears it on dates, but Kick-Ass apologizes for embarrassing her and admits he's paranoid until he gets to know people. Valerie though says she thinks it's cool, but then says that it must be scary fighting thugs all the time and asks if he ever gets scared. He admits that he's sometimes scared, but he likes the sense of purpose it gives him and that being a superhero allows him to help people that not everyone can do in their normal lives. Valerie though points out that she helps people every day at the hospital, but Kick-Ass says that he doesn't think he'd qualify as a nurse. Valerie though asks if he considered doing volunteer work, like volunteering at a soup kitchen, but Kick-Ass says he'd have to be in his civilian identity and admits he's lame in his real life, which Valerie finds hard to believe. When he asks her why, she says that if he was lame, he wouldn't be dressing up and helping people in his spare time, which he admits is a nice way of thinking about it. He then checks his watch and says he's supposed to do a raid at 10 and promised to do a rehearsal with his team and then says that they've been talking for 3 hours. He then asks if she's ok with going out on Thursday night, which she admits to being excited for and can't believe she actually met someone who's heard of the Argonauts. Kick-Ass then tells her he's had a wonderful time and loves spending time with her. He then leans in and tells her that his real name is Dave. He then leaves, but not before waving goodbye from the window. In solitary, 2 guards walk in Billy Schutz's cell to find him without his penis, where Mindy admits that she did say she'd castrate him if he didn't behave. As she sits in her cell, smoking and drinking beer, Dr. White says that she didn't kill him and that the camera's been on her the whole time and she hasn't left her cell. Mindy though jokes that she can phase through walls. Dr. White though says that she's good at using her reputation to instill fear in the other inmates and make them do what she wants and then asks if she's drinking whiskey. Mindy says that she got a bottle of Jack Daniels from the boys that smuggle her comics and Hello Kitty cards every week. Dr. White though says that he's not comfortable letting his 13-year old patient drink while they talk, but Mindy says that she plans on leaving this weekend. At Chris's get-out-of-jail party, Vic tells Chris that Rocco spent about $2,000 on this party. Rocco then says he served his sentence like a man and that his father would be proud. Chris though says that he still can't believe he managed to pull this off. Rocco though says that they need to look after each other and says he hopes these "youthful indiscretions" are behind him since he has big plans for him and that while his father thought he was weak and tried to protect him, he wants to make him strong and keep the money where the blood is. He then says that he's saving Hit-Girl for him, but then says they'll talk about that later and that he should celebrate and shows him some whores. He then says that he knows he's soft like Johnny and Ralphie by preferring to have sex with females, but says that after he's toughened him up, he wants him to enjoy having sex with men. Chris awkwardly thanks Rocco. Vic then gives Chris a new cellphone with GPS for them to track him and is waterproof. He then jokes about using it to take photos of the hookers sucking his dick. The hookers then take Chris away as they promise to take "good care" of him. Vic then tells Rocco he feels bad for Chris after his mom tried to kill him, but Rocco says he'll make sure he gets over that and that they'll need all the loyal soldiers they can once he merges all of the East Coast gangs. He then says that nothing is more dangerous than an old man in a hurry and says he has a lot of lost time to make up for. Outside the building, the Justice Forever team waits in the alleyway, where Ass-Kicker asks Kick-Ass about the bombs. As he sets them, Kick-Ass says that they're like landmines which he can detonate with a detonator and can put them wherever they want and explode with the push of a button. Battle Guy then asks where Hit-Girl found this stuff, but Kick-Ass says he doesn't know, but he feels he's only seen half of the cool stuff they have. He then thanks Marty for driving down from Harvard and admits he's missed him, but Battle Guy says he wouldn't miss this since the scene from Batman: Year One is his favorite and asks him if he's memorized it. Kick-Ass says that he has it written down just in case he gets nervous. Insect Man though points out that the Juicer hasn't arrived yet, but Ass-Kicker calls him a liability. Doctor Gravity then asks Kick-Ass if he's ok seeing Chris again after everything that happened, but Kick-Ass says that someone needs to show them they're not above the law and make them realize they'll all go to jail. A man in a dog costume then walks over to them and asks for donations for a dog house and that they're trying to raise a million dollars and make sure they never put a healthy dog down and they're in danger of shutting down. Ass-Kicker tries to get him to leave, but Kick-Ass says that they can't ignore a cry for help and gives him the money he has and asks the others for money. Inside, a thug complains about Rocco's no-smoking rule, but another thug points out that it's so they don't set the sprinklers off. They then walk out of the back door, where they find the heroes, causing them all to run. One of the goons grabs Battle Guy, but Kick-Ass attacks him and tells him to go to their next plan and run. As he attacks them, Battle Guy asks what their next plan was, but Kick-Ass just tells him to pick him up in the truck as he pushes a stack of crates onto the goons and then leaps onto the goons. He then turns and tosses his batons at them and kicks another one into a wall. One of the goons grabs him and points a gun at him and admits he's like a "real superhero." He then asks him if he was here to scare Chris and tells him he's over with the superhero thing and is back in the family business. The goon then asks for a reason to not shoot him, but Kick-Ass tells him about the detonator in his hand, which he activates, detonating the bombs, blasting the goons away, blowing up the wall inside, causing Rocco to curse. Kick-Ass then runs off, with the goons chasing him as they fire a shot at him. Kick-Ass dodges it as the other goon tells the goon to not fire a shot in the middle of a street, just chase after him. Kick-Ass though leaps on top of cars until he grabs onto the back of a bus, causing the passengers to stop and stare and take photos. Battle Guy tells him over his communicator that they're a minute away and heading towards him, but Kick-Ass says that he can't hold on anymore and lets go, causing him to fall onto the road. The goons spot him as Kick-Ass tells his teammates to hurry. They then drive towards them in their truck, where he lies flat on the ground as he wonders how he gets into this type of stuff. As the truck drives over him, he disappears, causing the goons to wonder where he's at. Inside the truck, the team opens up the door under the truck, where Kick-Ass is hanging on. Ass-Kicker then asks him how long he's practiced that move, which he admits to practicing 241 times. He then tells them to get out of here.
As the police search the streets for Kick-Ass, a homeless man spots Kick-Ass hanging underneath the Justice Forever's van. The homeless man recognizes him as the guy who gave him money for beer, but Kick-Ass tries to make him be quiet. The homeless person though promises to not reveal him, which Kick-Ass thanks him for as the van drives off. Back at the club, Rocco asks Vic what happened, but Vic tells him that someone blew up the wall. When Rocco asked if anyone was killed, Vic says that no one died, but the men are all shaken while a couple of them are in the hospital and even says that one of the men, Jimmy hit his head hard and might have a concussion. Rocco then says that he thought he had this "superhero" problem taken care of by banning them, but Vic says that they've been very relaxed since Hit-Girl got locked up, since she was the only one that provided them any trouble. He then says that with Chris out of prison, it might've stirred things up again, but assures Rocco that he and his men will handle it. Rocco then asks who was in charge of security, causing Vic to point to Jimmy. Rocco then orders them to get Jimmy to the meatpacking plant and tell the others that the party's over and no more free drinks. When a cop asks what they can do, Rocco tells him to get out of his way and then wonders why he even pays these guys as he shoves the cop aside. At the Justice Forever HQ, Juicer is auditioning new superheroes and tells them they have 60 seconds to impress him and why he would want them on "his" team, but to not screw up since he's a busy man and will listening until the sand in the hourglass runs out. The first superhero auditioning is named Skybird and says he's been developing a real flight suit based on the one from "Transformers 3," with his having a lightweight engine, which allows him to take off from a standing position. Juicer though asks if the suit really lets him fly, but Skybird says not yet since the engine components are expensive and has been doing it as a side project, but says that within 6 months, but Juicer dismisses him for being unable to fly. Skybird though says that he's not a nut, he's a qualified aeronautics engineer, but Juicer tells him to reapply in 6 months and that he doesn't have room on his team for "dead weight." The van then pulls in and as the superheroes get out, Moon Bird asks Kick-Ass why he's so upset since he was awesome, especially his stunt with the van. Kick-Ass though says that their plan was to blow a hole in the wall and deliver that speech, but now they'll never fear them and that he was so excited, but is now so disappointed. They then notice the line of superheroes and ask what's going on, but one of the applicants says they're here to audition. Kick-Ass then confronts Juicer about the auditions, but Juicer says he's focusing on the team's future and despite them being banned, there's no shortage of talent and says he's already got 2 new guys joining and is excited to work with them. Kick-Ass though asks if he asked him to hold auditions, but Juicer just calls him a dictator. Doctor Gravity then confronts Juicer about not showing up to the raid, which put other people in danger, but Juicer says he isn't interested in indulging their "fanboy fantasies" and that he's got his own ideas about fighting crime, which don't involve reenacting scenes from comics. Kick-Ass then spots a painting on the wall of Juicer and the team and asks what he's done. Juicer though says that it's a mural he and Claire have been working on to brighten up the hideout and boost morale to have the heroes in a classic pose. Kick-Ass though says that he's not in the painting. As he opens up a beer can, Juicer pretends that he didn't notice and says once he gets some green paint, they can paint him in the back. Kick-Ass then says that he's done with his crap and kicks him off the team and orders him to get his stuff out of here by tomorrow or else he'll toss it in the street. Juicer asks if he's joking, but Kick-Ass says that he's been mooching off of them for months and has done nothing. He then says that the others have had enough of him and are sick of him living here rent-free while they bust their chops working, and then confronts him about his "powers" and even asks if his backpack actually works. Juicer though says that it works and turns it on, causing him to sizzle with electricity. Juicer explains how his backpack generates over 240 volts of electricity through his gloves and threatens to use them on Kick-Ass, who tells him to not embarrass himself and just leave and stop taking advantage of them. Claire then walks in and asks what's going on, but Kick-Ass tells her that he's kicking them out and says they didn't start this so she could watch GoT all day and that they should've done this weeks ago and tells her to leave by tomorrow. All-Seeing Eye though says that if he kicks out Juicer and Claire, then he's gone too, which Kick-Ass is fine with and even says that he doesn't think he's seen him doing anything. Ass-Kicker then says that this is like "Civil War." Juicer though says that it's worse than Civil War and tells Kick-Ass that he's just created his own "Magneto." He and Claire then turn and leave, but Kick-Ass calls them "melodramatic." Night Bitch though tells Kick-Ass that that wasn't alright, but Kick-Ass says that he's been leeching off of them for months. At his apartment, as he sews his costume back together, he narrates about the 3 rules of being a superhero, which is 1. always keep your costume clean, 2. tell nobody your secret identity, and 3. never ignore a cry for help. He then narrates how the bomb blast ruined his costume and did his best to sew it back up while he listens to Todd having sex with one of his online dates. Dave then peeks into Todd's room and narrates how Todd is having sex with their old biology teacher, Mrs. Zane, who's now divorced and trying to rediscover her sexuality by having sex with younger men. As Todd and Ms. Zane continue having sex, Dave narrates how he can hear their headboard banging all day, noon, and night, but he tries to distract himself by getting pumped for upcoming missions. Dave then goes to work the punching bag while narrating how he still needs to free Hit-Girl from prison, while Rocco has half of the police in his pocket and Chris's mockery of the justice system when he should be paying for killing his dad. He then starts doing push-ups while narrating how the team continues to act cold towards him since the incident with Juicer and that half of them left the team and blocked him on Twitter, while saying that he handled the situation poorly, but he wasn't going to let Juicer take advantage of them again. He then gets out his laptop and goes online while narrating how he went on the CBR forums to chill and talk about comics, but then he got into a fight about DC Villains month and a Canadian who felt that his country is underrepresented in comics. Dave then narrates that Canada's population is twice as much as England and that Alpha Flight and Wolverine are all Canadian. He then shouts that Wolverine's the biggest character in the whole industry, causing Todd and Ms. Zane to stop. Dave then narrates how he still hopes Valerie is still interested in seeing a "Harryhausen" movie. Later, at Valerie's house, Dave and Valerie arrive from the movie, where Dave finds out that she has a bunch of cats. Valerie though says that only 2 cats are hers and she leaves the window open, which attracts other cats to her house. Dave then notices her collection of fantasy busts, which Valerie says is her secret and it started after she read Harry Potter and then began reading books about elves and vampires and even points out that all of those global franchises that the internet hates is because it's making female writers rich. Valerie then goes to make some coffee as she tells him that he should see some of her stuff at her dad's house since he still lives in Ohio, but she doesn't see him much since her mother died and he remarried. Dave gives her his condolences, but Valeria says it's fine, just weird since her stepmom was her mom's best friend and then tells him he can ask about her hearing aid in her right ear and won't get offended. As she hands him some coffee, she tells him that she had polio when she was 12 and it left her deaf in her right ear and says she wore a huge hearing aid in high school and that her nickname was "Borg." She then asks Dave if he wants to touch it. He then touches it until she starts kissing him and biting his lip. As they continue kissing, Dave takes his glasses off and starts licking her neck. As they sit on the couch, Valerie tells him to slow down. Dave though apologizes for offending her, but Valerie just says that they've got all night and don't need to rush. They then take their shirts off while Valerie's coffee maker continues spewing coffee. At the meatpacker building, Chris and Rocco are with Jimmy in the freezer, where Chris asks if he needs to keep hitting him. Rocco though says that he was in charge of security and needs to be taught a lesson so their captains will know that negligence won't be tolerated. He then tells Chris to hit him again once more and that if he wants to be in the family business, he needs to get his hands dirty. Chris then apologizes to Jimmy as he punches him in the face again. As Rocco tosses his cigar away, he says that these next few months will have some big changes, but the rewards will be huge if they focus and wants them to rethink how they do business and expand into the territory of their "inferiors" as a man hands him a box. Rocco then takes a golden pickaxe from the box as he says that the Russians, Colombians, and the other gangs are only interested in money and as long as they get richer, they'll accept them as their masters and plans to run this coast like a huge corporation with the Sicilians sitting at the top. Chris then asks about the pick axe, which Rocco points out is his signature weapon and shows him the notches on the handle of the 98 kills he's made. He then says that Hit-Girl will be the 100th notch as he uses his pickaxe to kill Jimmy. At the prison, the guards lead Mindy back to her cell on a stretcher, where they say that she got caught by the dogs, but she knocked out 3 of them and put 11 guards in the hospital and completely destroyed the entire south wing. The other guard then says that they're lucky she hurt her leg since the drop was higher than she thought. As they pass the prisoners' cells, they cheer Mindy on, while the other guard says that they need to get her back to solitary and keep guns on her at all times, even with restraints on. One of the prisoners shouts that Mindy will get them next time and wishes her luck, but Mindy yells at them to not cheer for her and threatens to rip out the throat of whoever claps next, causing all of the prisoners to go silent. Dr. White then walks over to her and asks why she did it and broke 2 guards' legs and burned another guard's face with pepper spray and says that he thought there was some morality to her actions, but this was just brutality. Mindy though swears at him, but Dr. White asks if she did this because she felt trapped and then says that he can only help her if she lets him do his job. Mindy though angrily swears at him again, but Dr. White asks if she's angry because she got Marcus demoted to records and research and asks if it would help if her mother visited. Mindy though yells at him that if he brings her mother here, she'll gouge his eyes out, causing Dr. White to say that he struck a nerve. At Vic's house, Vic and the other cops sit around, drinking beer and smoking cigars, where one cop complains that Rocco's out of control and it isn't like the old days when if the brothers slipped up, they would pay them $1000 to look the other way, but it's this kind of behavior that got him banished to Sicily. Vic though says that he's worried about his plans to merge the gangs and asks them if they really want him to rule the entire south border. Another cop then compares him to Caesar and says that tonight it was Jimmy, but it could be any one of them next. Vic agrees with them and says that's why they'll be getting out of this business soon. The cops though point out that this isn't a job they can resign from, but Vic says they need to leave New York and start a new life somewhere sunnier. He then says that before they leave, he wants to take everything from Rocco to make sure they'll live comfortably in their old age, and points out they got the skills and the guns and they know all of the mafia's movements. Another cop though says he's not against the money, but then asks how cops can become robbers. Vic though takes out a suitcase and as he opens it up, he says that they're gonna do what everyone else seems to be doing in this town and wear costumes as he pulls out a costume from the suitcase.
The Enforcer shows Ass-Kicker a video online of the new vigilante team, the "Skull and Bones Gang." When Ass-Kicker asks how it got online, Enforcer says that one of the guys must've filmed it and then tells him to focus on the guy at the front as it shows the Skull and Bones guys marching through the rain and knocking on the door of a warehouse. In the warehouse, as the gangsters count money, one of them orders another to answer the door. Suddenly, one of the Skull and Bones members slams his fist through the door and hits the goon in the face. They then storm into the building with their guns drawn as the gangsters are all in shock. The Skull and Bones gang then open fire on the gangsters, killing most of them. One of them hide behind a chair, but Vic, the leader of the Skulls and Bones says that he sees him and shoots him in the head through the chair. He then asks the last remaining gangster how much money they have collected. The gangster tells him that they have $60,000 and then asks why they kept him alive, but then one of the Skulls and Bones stabs him in the throat, while Vic says that they only kept him alive to keep them from counting all of the money. Enforcer then tells Ass-Kicker to keep watching as the Skulls and Bones leader, Vic addresses the camera and says this is a message to all bottom-feeders in the drug trade as they promise to take all of the money they stole and give it back to the communities they've destroyed and says they're the "Twenty-First Century Robin Hoods" and are calling out "parasite." He then says that there's another issue he wants to address and holds up a sign that says, "End Global Warming NOW." The other heroes gather around the computer, where Ass-Kicker admits that they're awesome, from stealing from drug dealers to spreading an environmental message. Moon Bird though asks what they mean by Robin Hoods and admits she was playing "Angry Birds" when she saw the Russell Crowe film, but Ass-Kicker just says that they're stealing from the rich and giving to the poor and then says that they should be teaming up with them. Insect Man though asks why they would want to team up with them since half of the members left and they're in the papers every day. Enforcer though suggests that they raise their profile by getting a lesbian or a wheel-chair bound hero on their team, but Doctor Gravity just suggests that they go back to beating bad guys like they used to. Ass-Kicker then says that he's printed out some tweets from people who contacted them online and says he loves how Kick-Ass used it as a modern Batsignal. Moon Bird then asks him if he thinks Kick-Ass will show up tonight since he's missed the past 3 meetings ever since the Juicer incident. Ass-Kicker says that he'll be there, since he's been on some "solo missions" lately and should be home at 9 and will definitely show up. Dave then narrates how his bus got in at 9, but he wasn't on it, as he continues having sex with Valerie at her house. Dave then narrates how within the first few months, the thing about dating is that they never go on any dates due to not having any money and too busy at having sex as Dave continues having sex with Valerie, who screams on her bed. As he kisses his way down her body, he narrates how they've spent weeks doing things they've seen online and while they were apart, he was Googling sex tips to get better. As he eats her out, Dave narrates how he spent the cash he had on condoms and lube and spent entire weekends in her bedroom and only got up to get food or text their friends to cancel plans. At the comic store, while Todd loads a crate, Dave looks at his phone while he narrates how people have been calling him the "Invisible Man" and how at work, he kept an eye on his phone for texts from Valerie and that they never stopped thinking about each other and even admits that he doesn't masturbate to anyone else now. At lunch, Dave tells Todd, who looks very annoyed, about Valerie, where Dave narrates how he bored all of his friends by talking about her and never letting them talk, and that if she was late, he would panic and check traffic reports and if she didn't reply to an email, he would keep refreshing. Later, while having sex with Valerie again, he narrates that he lost his mind, but, for the first time in his life, he was genuinely happy. As they stop for a break, Dave says that he needs some soda since he came 7 times and then says he didn't think that was possible, but Valerie just says that it depends if they have the right partner. She then tells Dave that he should call Todd since she feels bad that he's missing another meeting, but Dave says he doesn't wanna call him since he'll just give him a hard time and wants to stay and hang out with her. Valerie says that she wants him here too, but she doesn't want Todd to think that she's one of the girlfriends who doesn't let him see his friends, but Dave says that he wants to stay and all that superhero stuff now sounds crazy to him and thinks he's lost his urge to fight people. Valerie suggests that maybe it was sexual repression and he's been using his energy in other ways now. Dave though says that it might've been grief since he only got into superheroes after his mom died and that the tougher his life got, the more obsessed he became and that he now enjoys being himself and doesn't feel the need to escape reality. Valerie says that she doesn't want him to be unhappy, but Dave admits that he's happy now and they continue making love. The next day, at the comic store, Dave narrates that it's tough choosing between a girlfriend and a best friend and doesn't want a friend to feel demoted. He then tells Todd to cheer up since the Tuesday night shelf-stack is their favorite part of the week, but Todd says he's not sulking and is just concentrating on stacking the Nova comics. Dave then apologizes for missing the meeting and says he was having sex with Valerie and didn't want to seem insensitive, but Todd says he should be more sensitive to his friends and says she's been turning him into a different person and suggests she's a mole sent by a villain or a shapeshifting alien to try and split the team up. Todd then asks if he's giving up being a hero and start a normal life, but Dave says he isn't since he still needs to break Hit-Girl out, avenge his father, and take down the corrupt cops. He then says that he admits he thinks he's caused these problems and if wishing to be a hero bring all of these bad things to him. Todd though says he can't blame himself and that even though Batman attracted all of the villains, he's saved the city so many times and then tells him he needs to channel his guilt into making cool gear. He then tells him that they're having a meeting on Sunday and says it would mean a lot to the others if he showed up, but Dave says he'll do his best. Todd then asks if he promises, which Dave promises. Todd thanks him and they hug and make up. Dave narrates how he genuinely wanted to be there. Later, Valerie gives him a blowjob as Dave narrates how he got delayed. Later, Dave gets up while Valerie sleeps and checks his phone as he narrates how he didn't check the clock until 3 hours later and that Todd didn't even call, like he knew he was going to let him down, but then says that he loves hanging out with her and her friends. Later, Dave walks down the street with Valerie and her friends as he narrates how she makes him feel like he does in the costume, he walked taller, talked deeper and was an even nicer person. He then passes by the guy in the dog costume raising money for the dog homes and gives him $5. Dave narrates how Todd was angry, but Marty understood what he was doing. Later, Dave talks on the phone with Marty, who tells him that their lives are all at different places from Todd's life and aren't being selfish for thinking about their futures, they're just growing up. The next day, Dave is at the movies with Valerie, where Dave narrates that Marty's right, he did feel different and Kick-Ass helped him get rid of his childish insecurities and compared it to Clark Kent and Superman being the same person and how he felt older and cooler. A kid named Jordy then kicks the back of Dave's seat. Dave though tells him to stop and Jordy apologizes, calling it an accident and then kicks it again. Valerie tells him to ignore them and they'll settle down during the trailers and if they talk, they'll get the manager. Jordy then kicks the back of her seat and tells her to be quiet and calls her deaf. Dave then gets up and walks away, while Valerie tells him they can just change spots. One of Jordy's friends then bragged that the same thing happened during the Princess Diana movie and they had the manager on the ground. Suddenly, Dave appears behind them and grabs Jordy and his friend's throats and says he'd like a word with them. Jordy and his friends then get up and leave, while Valerie asks what he said to them, but Dave just says that he appealed to their better natures as Jordy and his friends move to the front of the theater. As he sits down next to Valerie and watches the movie, Dave narrates how it only took 19 years, 4 months, a green wetsuit and several beatings, but he was finally the man he wanted to be. Elsewhere, the Skull and Bones gang open fire on a whole bunch of gangsters, killing them all, where Vic then jokes that this beats police work. One of the members then packs the cash in a bag and says they have $200,000 in heroin and $200,000 in cash and that they should've done this years ago and that they have over 800K and no one's asking where the money's going. As they remove their masks, another member, Frank then asks if people are really that stupid, but Vic tells him to not jinx it since they have a nice thing going as he lights a cigar. Another member then asks if Rocco suspects them, but Vic assures them that he doesn't. As they leave, they ask him how he knows, but Vic points out that they're all still alive. Later, Rocco arrives with Vic at the warehouse and finds the corpses of his men and orders them to kill everyone in a costume out there tonight since they can't let the other gangs see them getting robbed by amateurs. He then orders Vic to get everyone on the streets and show them they're serious and make sure the police look the other way, which Vic agrees to do. Vic then nods to Frank and points out how hilarious this is. At an old woman's house, Insect Man helps her take her trash out and assures her it isn't any trouble and asks if she needs help with anything else. Suddenly, 2 cars pull up and 2 men with guns come out and kill Insect Man. In his car, Juicer eats a sandwich when someone knocks on his window. Juicer though says that if they want him to do some heroics, they'll have to wait until he's done eating. Suddenly, the 2 men from earlier take out their guns and shoot Juicer in the head through the window, killing him. The goons then chase after the guy in the dog costume, who tries to tell them that he's not a superhero, just a guy trying to raise money. The goons then shoot him in the back of his head, killing him. As Doctor Gravity walks down the street, a guy asks him for help with a flat tire, which Doctor Gravity says they all learned anything that might be useful to people when they learned first aid and follows the man around the corner. The man tells him he ran over some broken glass and said he would've called Triple A, but his policy expired and then asks if they charge money, but Doctor Gravity says that he's just a volunteer. As he follows the man around a corner, the 2 goons from earlier watch them. As the man leads him down an alley, Doctor Gravity asks how much farther it is, but the man says it's on the other side of the fence and thanks him for doing this. As he walks, the 2 goons follow him down the alley. When they arrive at the car, the tires aren't flat, which Doctor Gravity points out. Suddenly, the goons sneak up behind him and shoot him in the face, causing Doctor Gravity's body to fall to the ground, dead. They then stare at Doctor Gravity's corpse with his brains falling out as the man tells the goons that they need to get the rest of the heroes and then admits that this is fun.
In a flashback, Mindy lays down on a train track, while she narrates how she used to have fun times. As she lies on the track, she asks her dad over their communicators what she should do next, but Damon tells her she needs to catch the train. Mindy becomes confused. As he watches her from a bridge overhead with binoculars, Damon tells her that a train is speeding towards her at 70 mph and tells her to catch it at the right moment, or else her arms will get sliced off. He then tells her that he'll be watching her and has a special surprise for her. When Mindy asks what it is, Damon refuses to tell her as he smirks, which Mindy can't wait for. Damon then warns her as the train speeds towards her and tells her to get to the roof and jump when she sees him waving from the bridge and that she'll have 15 seconds to get to the roof, or else they'll miss each other. Mindy then assures him that she's ready as the train speeds closer to her. As the train speeds and roars over her, Damon watches from the bridge. As the train keeps speeding, he asks her if she made it on the train. As she hangs onto the side of the train, Mindy confirms she made it and climbs onto the roof and says that it's easy. Damon though warns her about the approaching tunnel ahead, causing Mindy to lie on the roof as the train roars through the tunnel. As it leaves the tunnel, Damon tells her to run to the last car and that she'll only have one chance. Mindy then runs to the back car and leaps off the train and grabs onto a pipe on the wall. As she hangs from the pipe, she asks what her surprise is. Damon reveals it to be the movie, "Commando" and says she's ready for her first Arnold Schwarzenegger film. Mindy then asks if it has the cursing intact, which Damon assures her it has. Mindy then clinks her smoothie cup with Damon's beer bottle. As they sit on the bridge, Mindy eats a sandwich while Damon drinks his beer, and Dr. White narrates that they've talked enough about her training and knows that it was fun like a comic book, but he wants to talk about the murders. At the prison, Mindy calls them "executions." Dr. White though tells her what an execution is and then asks for her earliest memory of the horrible acts she took part in. Mindy glares at him and tells him that would be the shopping trips. In a flashback, Mindy visits a store and tells the clerk that her dad needs a handsaw, an angle grinder, insulated tweezers, pair of black foam knee pads, and hedge clippers with nonslip handles. The clerk says that it sounds like someone has a busy weekend, but Mindy tells him that he has no idea. Back at the prison, Dr. White tells her he wants to know the first time she killed someone, the first time she went from training to killing, and asks if she even remembers, which Mindy says she does. Outside, watching from the observatory room, Marcus and Kathleen watch the session with Dr. White's assistant, Matilda, who tells Kathleen she doesn't have to listen to this. Kathleen though insists since it's her daughter and that Dr. White said her being near might be helpful. Inside, Dr. White tells Mindy she seems uncomfortable with his question, but Mindy says it's because she messed up, blew her first mission and let her dad down. In a flashback, Mindy sits by her hotel window with a sniper rifle, aiming it at her target as she narrates how they lived in Southeast Asia, learning hand-to-hand combat and knife skills. She then narrates how her dad chose a local kingpin he wanted her to start with and rented a room across the apartment he kept for his mistresses. As he lays in bed with his women, Mindy aims at his head. Mindy narrates that she choked and couldn't pull the trigger and she had a good shot and says she froze like an amateur. In another flashback, in a rainy alleyway, Mindy and Damon had a crook cornered, with his arms broken and Mindy aiming a gun at him. Mindy narrates that she knew her dad was disappointed and called it first-time nerves, but she froze again when they cornered a pimp behind a restaurant and that her dad even broke his arms, making it easier for her. She then narrates that she wasted so much time standing there, shaking with the gun, her dad had to finish him off. As Mindy stands there with the gun, Damon takes out his gun and shoots the pimp. Mindy then narrates that it happened 2 more times before they realized she had a problem and her dad needed to find a solution. In another flashback, as they stand in another alleyway with a pile of bloody corpses, Damon, holding a machine gun, hugs Mindy as she asks him if she'll ever bee a "proper" superhero. Damon assures her that she will and tells her to be patient and that she needs to stop thinking of the crooks as humans and then says he's got a neat idea about how to take care of her problem. In a grassy area, Damon arrives with Mindy and shines his flashlight on some tied up criminals, wearing supervillain masks, such as Doctor Doom, Green Goblin, and Loki. When Mindy asks who they are, Damon says they're sex tourists visiting from the US and while child prostitution is illegal in America, in Thailand, people are easy prey for these "degenerates" and says that they all deserve a bullet and hopes it makes things more black and white for her. Mindy though asks about the masks, but Damon just says he did it to make it more fun. One of the thugs tries to tell him it's a misunderstanding, but Damon tells them they've all got 60 seconds to run and hide and they're going to hunt them down and kill them. The crooks then turn and run into the grass. When Damon asks Mindy if she's nervous, she admits she's a little. Damon though tells her to not be since she's been training her whole life and assures her she can kill them easily and then says they'll split up into pincer formation. Before he leaves, he tells her he's got another surprise for her if she can do it. As she searched through the jungle, Mindy narrates how she felt only bad about failing to kill her targets and called heroes without guns, "conscientious objectors" and calls characters like Spiderman "liberal assholes," and he taught her to be tough, like Punisher or Rorschach and didn't want him losing faith in her, not when her training took her this far. As she walks through the jungle, she calls out for her dad until she hears the sound of twigs snapping and spots the masked goons holding her dad at gunpoint. The goons tell her to drop her gun and no one will get hurt, but Damon tells her to not listen to them since these guys will kill both of them, but one of the goons yells at him and says he's forced them into this position. Damon though tells her to shoot all of them in the head and it's the only way out. One of the goons though tells him to be quiet while they all calm down. Damon yells at Mindy she has seconds to act, causing another goon to scream at Damon if he wants to die. Mindy then takes out her handgun and shoots all 4 of the goons in the head, except for the one pointing the gun at her dad's head, who she shot in the heart. Damon praises her and says he knew she could do it if she had the right motivation, causing Mindy to ask if he let himself get captured, which Damon says he did and he knew she wouldn't let him down. As he covers the bodies in leaves, he asks if she wants to see her surprise. He then pulls out a costume and wig for her, which he says is her costume, which he made weeks ago and waited for the right moment, while she stares at the costume. At the prison, Dr. White asked if she was mad her dad tricked her, but Mindy says she wasn't, since getting captured was a good way to get over her "performance anxiety." Dr. White though asked if she thought why she was hesitating in the first place, that if she knew she was doing something wrong. He then asks why she banned her mom from visiting her. In the flashback, as she stares at her costume, Mindy starts crying and asks if her mom would be mad at her for killing people, but Damon assures her she's not as long as it's bad people and her mom would be proud as he wipes her tears away. At the prison, Mindy says she wasn't proud, or even dead and when she found her mom was still alive, she thought her mom would think she's a bad person if she knew the truth and would be disappointed, which is why she doesn't want to see her, since she's scared she'd be ashamed of the good things she's done. Dr. White then reveals she's been watching from the other room, much to Mindy's shock. Dr. White then says that she doesn't blame her for anything since she knows she didn't know any better and wanted to tell her that she loves her very much. He then asks if her mom could come in and talk for 5 minutes, which she can refuse. In the other room, Kathleen and Marcus hold hands as they watch. Mindy agrees to see her mom. Dr. White then tells Matilda to ask Kathleen to join them, while Matilda just compliments Dr. White's methods. As Dr. White leaves and Kathleen walks in, the guard tells her to stay behind the line for her own safety and to not approach the prisoner. As she sits, Kathleen asks her if she's ok, which Mindy says she is, sort of. In the other, Dr. White watches with Marcus and Matilda and says that there's no such thing as crazy, just people who haven't been cured yet and knew the way to get to her was through her guilt about her mom. Inside, Kathleen says she heard everything she said and couldn't believe all the incredible things she's done. She then tells Mindy that she got a job a few weeks ago, which is a big deal for her and even helped at a local shelter and has friends for the first time since high school. She then tells Mindy that she barely left her home in the years she was taken away, but says she discovered these new sources of strength. She then says that if she created her, then she realized she wasn't as weak as she thought, much to Mindy's surprise. Kathleen then tells her she's done things she couldn't even dream of, fighting mafia, drug dealers and corrupt cops and says she's the most wonderful daughter she could imagine and never wants her to think she's ashamed of her and admits she couldn't be prouder and even feels stronger being around her. Dr. White orders Matilda to remove Kathleen from the room. Kathleen then tells Mindy she loves her and knows she'll get out of here, since these "idiots" can't keep her here long. She then hugs Mindy, causing the guard to yell at her to stay behind the line, but Kathleen yells at the guard to let go of her, much to Marcus's dismay. As the guard pulls her out, Kathleen tells Mindy to never stop fighting the good fight and never let people tell her what to do. Matilda then says that this didn't go as they planned, while Dr. White mutters their entire family is crazy. On the streets, Ass-Kicker runs down the streets from a car chasing after him. As he runs, he shoves a pizza boy aside. The goons then get out of the car and one of them tells the other to shoot him in the leg, but he shoots him in the butt instead, causing the other goon to yell at him. As they run after him, the pizza boy asks who they are, but the goons tell him to stay quiet. They then grab Ass-Kicker and point their guns at him as one of the goons says he's gonna help them track down the Skull & Bones Gang and asks if he's the leader of the superheroes and then tells him not to lie about not knowing where they are. Ass-Kicker though swears he doesn't know anything, causing them to pistol-whip him and drag his unconscious body away. As they shove him into the car, one of the goons complains that he just cleaned his seats. As they drive away, they give the pizza boy some "hush money." In Vic's office, Vic and the Skull and Bones watch a news report about Moon-Bird's body being recovered from a river as they eat Chinese food. One officer tells Vic that this is crazy and the 5th hero they found in the river. Frank then asks what to do if they're next, but Vic says they won't come after them since they're high-ranking cops and they don't know they're secretly the Skull and Bones gang and tells them to just enjoy the show. He then says that once this cools down, they'll go steal again and tells them to trust him, since it's going perfectly. At Valerie's apartment, Dave watches a news report about All-Seeing Eye's death as he leaves Todd a voicemail, telling him he's watching some terrible stuff and it's scaring him and tells him to call back to make sure he's ok. He then says that he knows he's mad about blowing off the meetings, but he's scared that they've killed him too and tells him to promise to never put the costume on, since they won't know who he is. He then hangs up and writes a note for Valerie on a pad of paper and leaves it for her. He then looks at her sleeping and takes her car keys. He then grabs his coat and sets off down the stairs, but then stops and goes back inside and takes his baton from the drawer. He then leaves the building and takes out his baton. At Angie Genovese's house, the words, "WHORE COCKSUCKER GET OUT!" are spray-painted on her house as she smokes a cigarette and watches a news report about several more dead superheroes. At prison, one of the guards, Chuck comments that Mindy's smiling, but Mindy tells him she's just been reenergized and already has plans to break out and clean up the streets outside. Behind her, another guard takes out a syringe as Mindy says that she has 3 workable schematics in her head and is trying to choose the best one for her escape. Suddenly, the guard injects her with a sedative. At the boathouse, Rocco arrives in a limo, where he says it looks decent enough. His assistant, Ignatius says they're not taking any chances and that the leaders of all the East Coast gangs will be here tonight and wants to make sure they know he doesn't do half-measures as he leads him inside. Rocco then asks how the boys are doing, but Ignatius tells him that they've killed 90% of the superheroes in under 2 hours. Rocco then asks about Chris, which Ignatius says is on his way to get Hit-Girl now and that they've paid off the guards and switched off the cameras so things will go smoothly. In her cell, Mindy lays paralyzed on the floor as the guard tells her he's injected her with 10 mm of midazolam, which disables her motor functions for 90 minutes. The guard then tells her to not expect any rescues because he's seen the news and all of the heroes are dead. The guard then says that this is what happens when you mess with the mob, but they always manage to get you back in the end. Suddenly, Chris and a couple of guards walk in as Chris points a gun at the paralyzed Mindy and agrees with the guard.
In prison, Chris, his goons, and the guards stand over a paralyzed Mindy, where they mock her, but Mindy points out that if they didn't drug her, she would kill them, but the goon mocks her because she's drugged. The guard then asks Vic if they're planning on taking her to the boathouse, which Vic says is what they're doing, since Rocco thought it would be a cool way to finish the gang meeting. When the guard asks if he's going to kill her with his ice pick, one of the goons says that Chris will be doing the honors, since, even though Rocco lost his brothers, Johnny was Chris's father and Chris should avenge his father. The guard then asks Chris if he's ready to kill her, which Chris says he is. The guard then tells him this will be different than when he and his gang shot up a neighborhood, since he'll be on stage killing in front of the most infamous killers in America and asks if he'll choke. Chris then cocks his gun and turns to the goons and guards and opens fire on them, killing all of them. One of the goons shoots Chris in the ribs before Chris shoots him in the eye, killing him. Chris then falls to his knees and curses over the pain as the bloody bodies of the guards and goons lies on the ground. A surprised Mindy asks him what he's doing, but Chris tells her he's going to save her. He then helps her up on her feet as he tells her that they need to leave. As he drives through the rain in Valerie's car, Dave narrates how he's wondering where Todd is and has retraced his patrol route 3 times. He then narrates how he wishes he would pick up his phone, but it keeps connecting to his voicemail as if his phone is dead or switched off. As he texts with Valerie, he narrates how he's only been receiving messages from Valerie, who's telling him that he's being crazy and is trying to talk him out of it, but then narrates how he can't give up until he finds Todd. He narrates that he can't give up since he's the one that got Todd involved in this situation when his phone rings. He then looks to see that he's gotten a text message from Red Mist, much to his confusion. At the prison, as Chris and Mindy drive off in the getaway car, 2 guards watch them from the tower. One of the guards then comments that Mindy's off to be executed, but then says that he's not proud of himself. The other guard though tells him that they couldn't tell the mob that they're too principled to look the other way and they got a bonus as well. He then says that if they upset them, it could be their kids that they're executing. On the road, Chris drives haphazardly through the street in the rain as the car swerves from side to side. Mindy yells at him to slow down or else he'll kill them both, but Chris tells her to shut up since they don't have enough time and needs to listen to what he tells her. He then tells her that he texted Kick-Ass to tell him where to meet them and that he knows everything that's happened and can find them by tracing his cell phone signal. He then pulls his jacket to reveal his phone in his pocket as he talks about how his phone has a GPS and can work underwater and that Vic bought one for him for getting out of jail. Mindy though yells at him that she doesn't care and asks why he's doing this since he's supposed to be a villain. Chris though tells her to just tell his mom that he's sorry for everything and that she was the one nice thing in her life and hates himself for messing up her life. Mindy then yells at him to watch out as they drive towards a truck, causing Chris to swerve and drive off the bridge. They both scream as the car plummets into the river. At the prison, the SWAT team storms into Mindy's cell and finds the bloody corpses. The warden then orders them to go out and find the car. As the car sinks to the bottom of the river, the car fills up with water while Mindy and Chris fall unconscious. In a flashback, Damon sits on a dock with a stopwatch as he says that a real superhero needs to be resourceful. As Mindy struggles in the water, Damon asks what's taking her so long since her heart will burst in 30 seconds and she needs to hurry. Back in the present, Mindy wakes up and gasps for air. She then frees herself from her straitjacket and grabs Chris's gun. She then shoots the window, shattering it as she grabs Chris and swims to the surface. As she drags his unconscious body to the surface, she complains about how much he weighs before collapsing into the mud. In the flashback, Mindy climbs up onto the dock from the water as Damon praises her. In the present, Mindy wakes up as Chris asks her why she saved him. Mindy though says that she only saved him because of his phone so Kick-Ass can track them as she takes his phone from his jacket. As she starts crawling off into the woods, Chris tells her to tell Kick-Ass that Todd's being held at Johnny's Meat-packing House and that they're trying to find the Skull and Bones gang and will continue torturing him until he tells them about the gang. As she continues crawling, Chris asks her if she forgives him for all of the terrible things he's done. Mindy though tells him to not be ridiculous and ventures into the woods. Later, the SWAT team arrive at the bridge and find the car underwater and Chris lying on the shore. As they climb down and go over to Chris's body as one of the guards tells the others to radio the others and let them know they've found her and that she couldn't have gotten far since she's still drugged. One of the guards then kneels down and feels Chris for a pulse as another guard asks if he's dead. The guard then says that he's dead and then orders them to spread out and keep in contact and warns them to be careful, despite her being drugged. In the forest, Mindy uses a stick as a walking stick as she crawls through the mud and curses her legs. One of the men, Joe, finds her and tells her that she's done, alerting her. Joe then radios the others and says that he's found her and tells them to get over here and pick her up and that she can't even stand. Mindy though raises her stick to defend herself, but Joe mocks her. Mindy though warns him that her friend has a stick as well. Suddenly, Dave sneaks up behind Joe and beats him over the head with his club, knocking him to the ground. As Joe reaches for his gun, Dave stomps on his arm and head and then pierces his skull with his stick, killing him. Dave then asks her if she's ok, but Mindy tells him that they need to leave since more guards are on their way. Dave then carries her to Valerie's car. At the boathouse, the sun starts to rise as Ignatius asks Rocco if he's ready to go downstairs. Rocco, who's sitting on the patio smoking a cigar, says he doesn't want to go down until his last "guests" arrive, since they need to make an entrance if they're going to sell something huge. Ignatius though asks if it's ok for them to go on while Hit-Girl's still loose, but Rocco refuses to cancel the meeting because of a mere child, since they'd be a laughing stock and they can't show any weaknesses to their guests and then asks if the boathouse is fortified. The guests arrive in their cars out front and Ignatius recognizes the head of the Latin Syndicate and Tony Ke Quan, leader of the Asian Boyz. He then jokes about this being like the "evil Oscars," causing Rocco to chuckle as he praises Ignatius for making him smile. Rocco then says that he plans on making himself the single gang leader from Maine to Miami as the guests gather together downstairs. At Justice Forever HQ, Dave helps Mindy inside, but she insists she doesn't need any help and feels emotional being back in the base, since it reminds her of her dream when she was little. In the bathroom, Dave asks Mindy if she's strong enough, but Mindy says she should be once she takes a cocktail to neutralize the drug. She then takes out a bottle and a syringe and injects herself in the neck, while Dave asks if they can call the cops. Mindy though tells him that Rocco owns the police, but Dave asks if Marcus can help. Mindy though tells him that Marcus would just try to stop them and they need to take them down now. Dave's phone then rings as Dave answers it. On the phone, Valerie asks where he's at and knows that he took her car to be with "those people." She then reminds him of his promise to her, but Dave tells her that he needed to save Hit-Girl and Todd and also she has a chance to take down every gang leader on the Eastern seaboard. As he talks, Mindy changes into her costume. Dave then says that if she doesn't do this, they'll be living in fear and promises this is the last time. Valerie then says that she's gonna call the cops to stop him and says that Mindy just wants him back in costume and won't be happy until they're dead. Dave though insists that she just listen and to not call the police. He then promises that this is the last time and that he'll be back in a few hours. As Mindy finishes putting her costume on, Dave hangs up as she teases him for having "girl trouble." She then hands him his costume as she insists that she doesn't care right now since they have people to take down and orders him to suit up and head to the lower level since there's nothing here fast enough to get them there on time. Dave though asks why she has a spare costume, but Mindy insists that she likes to be prepared. As he changes, Dave asks when the base got a lower level. Mindy then leads him down the stairs where she says is where she keeps the cool stuff and they just flip the switch on the Shakespeare bust and go through the library wall. Dave doesn't understand the reference, which Mindy mocks him for as she goes into the library and hits the button on the bust, revealing firepoles leading to the "Hit-Cave." At Johnny's Meatpacking house, the mob goons drag Ass-Kicker inside the building, where they say is where he's going to spend his "final hours." At the police station, an officer tells Vic that they got a call from a girl telling them where to find Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl, causing Vic to thank "Santa Clause." Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl slide down the poles and land on a mat below. She then takes him behind a curtain, revealing an lair full of weapons, gear, and vehicles. Dave then asks how they could afford this, but Mindy just says that they killed a lot of rich drug dealers over the years. She then hands him car keys and tells him to take the "Daddy-Car" while she takes the "Hit-Boat" and they'll meet up in a few hours once he's saved Todd and she stops the gangs. Dave though says that he feels like this will be the last time they see each other, but she teases him. The 2 of them then hug as Dave tells her to be careful. She insists that she will, but Dave says that he feels like things will be different tonight, but Hit-Girl just tells him that he now has something to lose. As they go down the stairs, Mindy says that this is everything they've dreamed of and that even if they don't survive, they'll go down as superheroes. Mindy then tosses her duffelbag in the "Hit-Boat" as she insists that they can't lose. She then winks at him as she drives off. Dave then mutters that he hopes she's right.
Hit-Girl speeds toward the boathouse in the "Hit-Boat", while Kick-Ass drives the "Daddy-Car" towards the meatpacking house. As he drives, Dave narrates how he has a bad feeling about this and thinks he'll end up dead. At the Genovese Crime Summit, while the guards stand outside, the guests inside clap as Rocco arrives downstairs. He thanks everyone for coming, while one of the guards asks if it's all good outside. The guard outside insists that it's fine and that she won't try anything with this kind of manpower. An empty "Hit-Boat" drifts towards the bank, much to the guards' confusion. Suddenly, all 4 guards on the bank get gunned down, except for one guard who gets shot in the knee as Hit-Girl points a gun at his face. As the other guards lie dead on the lawn, Hit-Girl tells the surviving guard that she needs him on the roof and he's too heavy for her to carry. Hit-Girl then plants some explosives on the lawn, which the guard asks about, but Hit-Girl insists they're for later. She then starts dragging him as she orders him to climb up the drainpipe. At the warehouse, as Ass-Kicker hangs tied up from the ceiling, the interrogator praises him for taking the beating and says if he doesn't spill their secret identities, they'll do a "Scarface" and carve him in two, but the torturer says that there's a problem with the chainsaw, since he asked for a gas-powered saw, but he got an electrical one and the cord isn't long enough. The interrogator though orders him to find an extension cord and yells at him since they're supposed to be intimidating and he's ruining it. Outside, Kick-Ass peered through the window and narrates that Todd needs to hang on a little longer as he plants explosives on the wall, and apologizes for taking too long, but he insists he needs to put them at a "psychological disadvantage" and everything must be right. At the boathouse, while Rocco shows off his icepick, he says that he's not good at speeches so he'll make it brief and has brought them here to kill the "bitch" that's been costing them money and hopes the demonstration will prove to the others why a united gang will be more "prosperous" under his command. He then shows them the coffin and tombstone he had prepared for Hit-Girl. As he scrapes his icepick on the coffin, he tells them that he had these prepared for her since this is what they'll bury her in once his nephew kills her and wants this room to be her final resting place as they celebrate. One of the gangsters asks if Hit-Girl's in the building, but Rocco assures him that she's on her way and will be drugged and bound so she won't be a threat. On the roof, Hit-Girl watches from the skylight as she drags the injured guard. One of the gangsters, Pedro, though says that he's acting like they've already agreed to his "super-gang" and he thought they were here to talk. As he hands his icepick to Ignatius, Rocco says that even though they've all been doing well, his family's been doing this for centuries and that Sicilians are more adept than the other "inferior" races and says that if they don't obey him, then he'll do to them what the Roman Empire or Starbucks did to their enemies. As he talks, Ignatius lights his cigar. Pedro though says that he's leaving, but Rocco tells him that if he leaves, his son will die. He then reveals that he has Pedro's son, along with the other gangster's eldest children, in a secure area and they won't be harmed unless they agree to cooperate. On the roof, Mindy narrates how she's waiting for it to be funny. Rocco then says that they're not here to vote, they're here for his coronation. Suddenly, the guard falls through the skylight and lands on the coffin, surprising everyone. The guard apologizes as Rocco notices a bomb strapped to his chest. The bomb then goes off, killing the guard as it spreads tear gas. The gangsters cough as they all struggle to escape, but the doors are locked. Hit-Girl, with a gas mask and a machete, then reveals that she locked all of the doors. At the warehouse, as the goons continue beating and torturing Todd, Dave narrates that he only needs God to help him this last time and he'll quit this gig for good. He then ducks behind some crates as he arms the explosives. Suddenly, the wall explodes, sending beer crates flying everywhere as they topple on top of Todd and the gangsters. Kick-Ass then appears and recites his "Year One" speech. At the boathouse, Hit-Girl uses a machine gun to kill all of the gangsters. At the warehouse, Kick-Ass kicks a stack of crates onto one of the goons and tosses another crate at the other goon. At the boathouse, Hit-Girl impales a gangster with her machete as she guns the others down. Kick-Ass attacks the interrogator at the warehouse. Hit-Girl continues gunning down gangsters as she slices another gangster's head off with her machete. As Kick-Ass continues beating the interrogator, the torturer sneaks up on him, holding a beer crate. At the boathouse, Hit-Girl tells everyone to calm down about the gas since it's only a hallucinogen called phenethylamine, which won't kill them, but makes things scarier and that they should be worried about the bullets. At the warehouse, the torturer tackles Kick-Ass to the ground and starts choking him. Todd though yells at him to use the chainsaw as Kick-Ass reaches for it. He then grabs the chainsaw and slices the torturer's head off. Todd then mutters that that's not what he meant, but at least it worked. At the boathouse, Hit-Girl drops her gun as she faces the remaining gangster, Rocco, which Hit-Girl points out is what he planned, just the 2 of them. She then grabs his icepick and mocks him. Rocco curses at her, but Hit-Girl points out that he must be freaking out right now since the dead bosses lying around must be making things worse. She then asks what he sees me as. Rocco hallucinates her as a freaky demon with a slithering tongue as he starts crying. Rocco though insists that he's scared of nothing, but Hit-Girl points out that's because they just met. She then raises the icepick and pierces his skull with it, killing him. At the warehouse, Kick-Ass cheers that he beat the goons and tells Todd that it's just like Hit-Girl said, "It doesn't matter if you're fighting two-to-one...as long as you're in the right, you'll always come out on top." Todd though cries in horror as more gangsters march into the room with their guns drawn as Todd warns Kick-Ass about them. Outside the boathouse, Hit-Girl walks to the dock and crawls over the railing when a spotlight shines on her as Vic and the entire police force surround her, where Vic mocks her. Hit-Girl recognizes his voice. At the warehouse, the gangsters all stomp and kick on Kick-Ass. At the boathouse, Hit-Girl raises her hands as Vic reveals that a "concerned citizen" called the police because she thought Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl would be in trouble and then mocks her that it was the bad cops who answered it. The gangsters continue stomping and beating Kick-Ass at the warehouse. At the boathouse, Vic warns Hit-Girl to not try anything and keep her hands raised or else they'll kill her. He then says that she did him a favor since the East Coast bosses are dead, there's a vacancy spot that he can fill and then mocks her that she's going to be in jail, ending her career while he lives like a king. At the warehouse, as he continues getting beat and kicked, Dave narrates how he knew it would end like this for him, either a gang or a bigger guy taking him down, he knew it from the moment he bought his costume and can't believe it's happening right as he was about to quit. As a bloody Todd watches in horror while the gangsters continue beating and stomping him, Dave narrates that all of the stuff back at the base about fist-pumps and team-ups seemed cool, but now it's ridiculous and curses the comics that brought him here. He then narrates that he had a waste of a childhood as he flashes back to him painting his face like Spiderman in the mirror as a child. He then narrates that he used to pretend he was Spiderman instead of himself, making Iron Man's armor out of paper, and wearing his Batman costume under his clothes at school. He then curses all of the useless superhero info he memorized as he flashes back to him reading a comic while wearing a paper Iron Man mask as a child. He then narrates that he doesn't understand why his parents encouraged this and asks what comics have ever done for him except get him killed. In a flashback, young Dave faces his parents, his mom and dad. His mom then tells him that comics helped him through the tough times, a reminder that every tight spot had a workable solution and giving up isn't an option. His dad then tells him she's right and that comics gave him optimism and leaves him with a final question, "What would Batman do in this situation?" Dave then notices the cord and that they're standing in puddles of water. He then remembers how he's wearing padded gloves and boots and an insulated suit. He then yells at Todd to "REACH FOR THE SKY!" as he grabs the cord. Todd then lifts his feet onto a stack of boxes and yells at him to do it. Kick-Ass then plugs the cord in, electrocuting all of the gangsters. At the boathouse, Vic aims his gun at Hit-Girl and asks why she's smiling, but she tells him she's imagining killing all of them in a few seconds. Vic calls her crazy, but Hit-Girl reveals that she made the call to lure them out. Vic though thinks she's lying and that she has nothing, but Mindy points out the detonator in her hand and warns them to be careful where they park. They look down and find the explosives planted in the grass. The explosives go off, blowing cop cars and cops through the air. As Vic faints from the pain, Mindy says that she might be tired and wounded, but it's been a long night. She then punches Vic in his crotch, causing him to collapse to the ground, shaking. She then says that the day she can't outsmart someone like him is the day she decides to retire. She then reveals that she destroyed his entire pelvis and that there's no point in crawling away, since she's got one final use for him for the forces of justice and plants a knife in front of his face as she tells him that she's got all night to explain it to him. At the hospital, as Todd lies in a bed, Dave asks Valerie if he'll be ok, but Valerie says he'll be fine and then says she heard that they tied up all of the gangsters and left a calling card for the cops. Dave though points out it still spells "friendly" wrong. She then turns her back on him and says she heard that over 120 corpses were found upstate and most of them were East Coast underworld figures and knows who's behind that. She then cries as she says that she doesn't think it'll end for him, since he and Hit-Girl are too addicted to settle down, and even points out that this reminds her of the scene in Spiderman 2 where he breaks up with MJ because of his curse. She then asks if this is the part where he tells her where his superhero life comes before his private life, but Dave points out that that would never happen if someone was truly in love. He then hugs her as he tells her he chooses her and that he promised this was the last time. She asks him about the bad guys, but Dave points out that they're all dead as he kisses her. As the police load the corrupted cops into police vans, Dave narrates that with Mindy killing all of the crime bosses, the gangs splintered and made it easy for a revitalized NYPD to capture and that Marcus was exonerated and promoted to Captain and took down all of the corrupted cops that have been tormenting him for years. At a judge trial, Vic, who's in a wheelchair and covered in bandages, takes the stand as Dave narrates how Marcus found an unlikely ally in Vic, who's the only survivor of the boathouse massacre and that no one knows what happened that night, but Vic named all of the corrupt cops in the department. In a desert, Hit-Girl stands over a pile of bloody corpses with her swords soaked in blood as Dave narrates how he never saw Mindy again, but he knows she's out there after he read a newspaper article about some gangsters' "unexplained deaths" in London, terrorists in Paris, kidnappers in Rome, and bodies of entire drug cartels in South America. He then narrates how she always liked working in the shadows and it made sense for her to return to them. At her home, Kathleen comes home with groceries and finds flowers on the table as Dave narrates that on Father's Day, there's flowers on her dad's grave and on Mother's Day, her mom got gorgeous flowers. On a patio, Kathleen sits with Angie Genovese, smoking and drinking martinis as Dave narrates that he was pleased to hear Mindy's mom was doing fine, but shocked when he found out Angie was her new best friend, since they have a lot in common with history of dramatic weddings and unconventional costumed kids. At his apartment, Dave and Valerie are dusting antiques as Dave narrates how he got a full-time job and moved into Valerie's apartment, but felt bad leaving Todd because he couldn't afford their apartment alone. At the Justice Forever HQ, Todd shows Mrs. Zane around the lair as he pours them wine while Dave narrates how he remembered leaving a set of keys behind and found out it's a hit with his mature online dates. Mrs. Zane then asks Todd how he can afford this since he works part-time at a comic store, but Todd tells her he now works there full-time. At his apartment, Dave changes into a uniform as he admires himself in the mirror and narrates how he never lost his sense of adventure and that his time as Kick-Ass made him want a job that'll make a difference. He then puts on his police cap as he narrates how he always wanted to help people and wanted a career that reflected that. On stage, Dave is handed a paper as he shakes the police chief's hand while narrating that when Marcus needed new recruits for his clean NYPD, he volunteered first and that being a cop still means he's out patrolling the streets at night, In the audience, Todd, Marty, and Valerie clap for him. Dave then salutes the audience as he narrates how he changed one uniform for another. Later, Dave, Marty, Todd and Valerie walk out of a movie theater while narrating how he hasn't given up on superheroes either since he still visits the comic store on Wednesday and always sees a superhero movie on the first day of release, but thinks that that part of his life is over and that being Kick-Ass saved him. As they walk down the street, he narrates how he doesn't know how well he'd do against the other threats, like the guys breaking the sound barrier, a lunatic killing cops in Japan, or the wave of celebrity kidnappings all over the world. He then narrates that everything has stepped up and a new kind of hero has stepped up to defeat them. Dave then holds the door open for a wheelchair-bound kid. As he, Todd, Marty, and Valerie leave the theater, Dave narrates that Kick-Ass reminded people why we need heroes, but then says that something tells him the best has yet to come. On a building, Skybird stands on a rooftop while the first line from the first film is repeated. Skybird puts his helmet on and then leaps off the building. Everybody looks up as he continues falling. Skybird then activates his wings and soars through the air, much to everyone's amazement.
In a post-credits scene, a young boy named Paul McQue writes in his diary that his jacket is covered in spit, but he doesn't say anything or else he'll make things worse as it shows him walking home while bullies spit on him. As he washes his jacket in the bathtub, he writes how the bully, Jason Korthof stood in front of him and insulted him about his dad and his boyfriend, but he just smiled and pretended his words didn't hurt and that he washed his coat before his mom got home because he didn't want to upset her since she's already stressed about money. He then sits at his desk and writes in his journal as he writes how he hates Jason so much that he wrote a poem about how much he hates him, but it didn't make him feel better like it usually did and tried to do his "cognitive behavioral exercises", but he doesn't think they work anymore and asked the school psychologist to send him a new regimen. He then sits in his bed with his phone where he writes that he thinks he'll have a heart attack each night because he's stressed about school and has a pain in his chest. He then starts crying as he writes how he would like to go to bed one night and think of something nice and wake up in the morning to find out that he didn't cry in his sleep. Suddenly, Hit-Girl appears in his room, surprising him. She tosses him Kick-Ass's old costume and tells him that they'll start training tomorrow morning at 9:00.