Wizard 9

Chapter 9
Richard wants to know what a Seeker is. Zedd calls this “A wise first question in your new capacity.” Also an obvious question. If some non-insane person declared me to be a Flungos, my first question would probably be, “What the hell is a Flungos?” Between this and “brilliantly” deducing that Zedd was Nameless Wizard, I'm not impressed by Richard's mental skills.
Infodump time! Zedd reminds us that the High Council didn't bother with true Seekers, instead handing out the office to whoever could pay for it. So Zedd retrieved (stole) the Sword of Truth and kept it in his wizard's cabinet, which is apparently another name for a bag of holding.
More infodumping. The three boxes of Orden contain “magic spawned from the earth, from life itself.” The power is dormant until the boxes are ”put into play, as it is called.” Why is it called that? We will never know. Anyway, Darken Rahl has put the boxes into play, but he only has two of them. He has to find the third by the first day of winter, or he dies. Nice planning there, Rahl. On the first day of winter, if Rahl opens Box #1, he gains GODLIKE POWER! Complete and total mastery over all that lives or dies. Box #2 will kill him if he opens it. And Box #3 will kill EVERYTHING if opened. Everything in the world. Humans. Animals. Plants. Bugs. Grass. Bacteria. Dead. In an instant.
What idiot made these boxes, anyway? And shouldn't they have built some safeguards into the process? And why hasn't some civic-minded individual sealed the boxes up in concrete and buried them at sea by now? Seriously, there is literally no excuse for leaving something like that floating around in the world. The best-case scenario – boxes are put into play by the Dalai Lama – carries a flat 33% chance of global annihilation. The more likely situation – boxes are put into play by a genocidal madman – carries a 67% chance of horrific doom, either through global apocalypse, or the arguably worse scenario of utter domination under said madman.
What, ruling the world wasn't enough for your bad guy, Terry? \~/\~/
(sigh)
Apparently Darken Rahl has put the boxes into play before he even has all three of them, which is just a whole new level of stupidity. \~/ Zedd says Confidence, I say Stupidity. It's like starting the Space Shuttle countdown before the astronauts are on board. What (outside of the meta-knowledge that the heroes will show up to stop him at the last second) would Darken Rahl risk by waiting until he has all three boxes? He's apparently a wizard of horrifying power, with armies at his command, and his only real enemies trapped behind a wall of DEATH. \~/
So Zedd knows the missing box isn't in the Westland, which means it has to be in the Midlands. Because the Westland is 100% magic-free.
Except for the animated, people-biting vines.
Richard insists on knowing what a Seeker is. Here is Zedd's answer:
“A Seeker is a person who answers to no one but himself; he is a law unto himself. The Sword of Truth is his to wield as he wishes, and within the limits of his own strength, he can hold anyone to answer for anything.”
Oh my God, THE SEEKER IS A SUE! \~/
“You see, Richard, a Seeker does exactly as the name implies: he seeks. He seeks the answers to things. Things of his own choosing.”
Thanks, Zedd. Very helpful. \~/
“If he is the right person, he will seek the answers that will help others, not just himself. The whole purpose of a Seeker is to be free to quest on his own, to go where he wants, ask what he wants, learn what he wants, find the answers to what he wants to know, and, if need be, do whatever it is the answers demand.”
>_O
How very...uninformative. \~/
Let me see if I can explain it more clearly. A Seeker answers to no authority but himself on his self-imposed quest to seek whatever he feels like seeking. And this is good...why? Sure, it's great for the Seeker, but everyone else has to pretty much pray that the Seeker doesn't decide to seek their daughter's virginity, or their hard-earned gold, or whatever. Seekers are apparently above all laws and have no guidelines or boundaries.
Hard to imagine how that post could have become corrupt. -_-
Also, it apparently doesn't matter how the Seeker seeks, or whether there might be someone better qualified to do so. All that matters is that the Seeker be the one to do it. So remember that, kids! Don't bother to seek professional assistance with anything; just get out there and do it yourself!
Our Heroes have to get through the boundary and into the Midlands, which is impossible. Except that Zedd just said he did it twice, to go retrieve (steal) the Sword of Truth and bring it back. But he can't do it now, for...dubious reasons.
Richard has second thoughts about the whole idea, so Kahlan tells him how Darken Rahl questions people. Apparently he guts them and divines the future from their entrails. I think the Romans did that. This pisses Richard off because Darken Rahl did this to his father, George. He gets angry, the sword gets angry, and “nothing else had any significance” except his desire to kill Darken Rahl.
Zedd congratulates Richard on passing the final test to become the Seeker. Which is...giving in to your rage, apparently. Seems like the opposite of what one would want in their lawless hunter after...whatever. The Seeker already answers to no one and is tasked with seeking out whatever he feels like; now he has to have anger issues as well?
...
Does this mean the Incredible Hulk is a Seeker?
Drinks: 7
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