Optimus Prime VS Thomas the Tank Engine?

Optimus Prime VS Thomas the Tank Engine? is the second episode of Death Race, featuring Optimus Prime from the Transformers series, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley from the Wizarding World series, Thomas the Tank Engine from the Thomas & Friends series, and Lightning McQueen from the Cars series in a race between living vehicles. Optimus Prime and Harry were voiced by Kamran Nikhad and Ron and Lightning were voiced by Nicholas Andrew Louie.
==Interlude==
The scene opens with a light shining on Ringmaster as he steps out from the darkness on a circular pedestal. Ringmaster catches his falling microphone in his hand before greeting the audience.
Ringmaster: Hello, and welcome everyone to the rousing return of Death Race! Where the only rule is do anything you can to come in first, or uh... don't die. Gotta be honest, we kinda have to wait and see how things shake out day to day, but no matter! Today, we shall paint the track in oil, and that's a metaphor for blood, by the way, because today's cars are... alive, I tell you! Alive!
Ringmaster starts laughing maniacally before coughing.
Ringmaster: Man, I need stop drinking absinthe before shows.
==Optimus Prime==
An animation of Optimus Prime in his truck form plays on-screen.
Ringmaster: First up is Optimus Prime, proud leader of the Autobots! This simple Frieghtliner flat-6 semi-truck exterior belies the heart and soul of a warrior, and the body of a giant robot! Despite being from an alien planet, he's 100% American! You can tell from the uh... red, white and blue and the... brutal murder of an anime pretty boy. His only weakness? Cheating! If he ever did that, he'd end it all right there! Even if it's only a video game.
==Flying Ford Anglia==
An animation of the Flying Ford Anglia plays on-screen.
Ringmaster: (in an overexaggerated British accent) This right proper [unintelligible British nonsense] may (in regular voice) look like your bog standard Ford Anglia 105E Deluxe, but with a dash of magic, this baby can FLY and even turn invisible. And best of all, trapped inside are two terrified minors fresh out of Hogwarts on summer break!
The Flying Ford Anglia begins floating while we hear Harry and Ron scream from inside before we cut to Ringmaster.
Ringmaster: Hey, if you win the race, you get to see your parents again. (chuckle) Joke's on them, one of them doesn't even have parents.
==Thomas the Tank Engine==
An animation of Thomas the Tank Engine plays on-screen as we hear his iconic whistle.
Ringmaster: Don't worry, folks. We haven't left the British Isles yet. Up next is Thomas the Tank Engine! He's the number one locomotive on the Island of Sodor. Just look at him he's a— he's a sweetheart! Nothing sinister hides behind those moon-shaped, dopey, soul-piercing eyes... No horrors buried beneath the... baby blue sheets of... steel.
==Lightning McQueen==
An animation of Lighting McQueen plays on-screen.
Ringmaster: And last but not least, this red-hot racecar got a second lease on life—
Lightning: Kachow!
Ringmaster: When he visited the town of Radia—
Lightning: Kachow!
Ringmaster: Radiator Springs and—
Lightning: Kachow!
We cut to Ringmaster.
Ringmaster: Yeah, right. Let's just get on with it. Let's join our commentators Wiz and Boomstick before the race! ...I'm coming down, anyways.
==Prelude==
Wiz: Just like before, whoever makes it to the end first wins, but we don't care how they get there. No civilians on the track this time, Boomstick?
Boomstick: Not this time, Wiz. Unless you want another blood-bat.
Wiz: ...Maybe I should just go climb down there myself.
Boomstick: I'm not stopping you, but we don't need civilians because the cars themselves are alive. Only in the face of certain death can one truly grapple with the beauty of mortality. Man, I need stop drinking absinthe before shows. Right, talking shoulder gremlin? Same.
Wiz: Do you even know what that word means or are you just repeating things you hear?
Boomstick: Kachow?
Ringmaster: The race is about to begin, but first, a word from our gracious sponsor, DoorDash.
Ringmaster reads out a sponsor for DoorDash.
==Death Race==
Wiz: And with that, let's join our racers at the starting line.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH RAAACE!!!
The traffic light shifts from red to orange and then green.
Lightning: Kachow!
The racers start their engines and take off. With Thomas taking the lead first.
Wiz: They're off, and... wow, Thomas takes an early lead. Impressive considering there aren't any train tracks.
Boomstick: Oh, you know...
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.
Boomstick: I think that's going to be a problem...
The screen cuts to Thomas, who, being a train, is unable to turn without tracks and blows up as he falls off the track as the other racers make the turn.
Boomstick: Can't go around the bends like that, Tommy!
Wiz: But the others are neck and neck, coming upon the first real obstacle; the tunnel. Optimus goes in first, it's gonna be a tight fit in there.
Boomstick: Aha, that's what she said!
The Flying Ford Angila bypasses the tunnel, flying over it as it carries a screaming Harry and Ron.
Wiz: And our friends from across the pond take an unconventional route.
Boomstick: What did you expect, Wiz? Those kids should not be driving.
Meanwhile in the tunnel, McQueen is trailing behind Prime.
Wiz: But Optimus is making McQueen's life miserable in that tunnel. He's gonna have to pull off something...
Lightning drives onto the wall and goes around the Autobot.
Wiz: Amazing!
Lightning: Kachow!
Boomstick: Kac-how do you like that, Opty? Old strategy taking on the ultimate robo-warrior.
The two exit the tunnel to find that Harry and Ron ahead of both of them as they approach a loop-de-loop, an obstacle that the flying car avoids. We then cut to Wiz and Boomstick.
Boomstick: You know, I think having a car that flies kinda defeats the point of all this.
Wiz thinks about this before the screen cuts to McQueen, who effortlessly drives through the loop before Optimus turns into his robot form and pulls out his Ion Blaster, attempting to shoot the racecar.
Boomstick: Woah-ho! I knew he was pissed, but OP's out for blood, or... oil. Does Lighting bleed?
Wiz: As we move down the track, we approach another deadly obstacle; the Whomping Willow!
The students of Hogwarts barely avoid the magical tree before turning invisible. Meanwhile, Lightning is able to barely avoid the Willow's attacks before continuing on with the race, Optimus on the other hand, uses his Energon-axe in an attempt to cut the tree down.
Optimus: It's a trap led by those vile Decepticons!
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick as the Autobot begins cutting down the Whomping Willow.
Boomstick: Clearly has nothing to do with Decepticons, Wiz. But... I respect his gumption.
Wiz: You know, taken out of context, it almost sounds sort of... robo-racist.
Optimus: (off-screen) Dirty, filthy, stinkin' Decepticons!
Wiz and Boomstick react in surprise as the screen cuts back to Optimus, who had cut the tree down. As Lightning approaches the finish line, however. Thomas suddenly flies back up and starts breathing fire.
Boomstick: Okay, who turned on the Skyrim mods?!
The engine flies towards and breathes fire at the invisible Flying Ford, causing it to be engulfed in flames as the two boys inside scream in agony.
Wiz: He's at the Brits! They're—
The Ford Angila then explodes, ending Potter and Weasley's lives as we cut to Wiz and Boomstick, with the monitor showing an instant replay of Thomas killing them.
Boomstick: Oooh, guess they won't get to see their parents.
Wiz: One of them will...
The screen cuts to Optimus, who walks as he sees the flying, fire-breathing Thomas.
Optimus: Man, I need stop drinking absinthe before shows.
Optimus jumps on top of Thomas and begins riding him to get ahead of McQueen before whacking the Tank Engine with the axe. Thomas begins to shine bright shortly after as Lightning approaches and Optimus lands on the track. The racecar could only try to stop himself, but to no avail as the flame-engulfed Thomas crash-lands right on top of him, killing them both and leaving Optimus as the last one standing.
Ringmaster: The winner is my boy, Optimus Prime!
After crossing the finish line, however, Optimus reverts to his truck form and begins driving towards a nearby ramp.
Wiz: Ah, Boomstick, I was afraid of this...
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick, with the monitor still showing Optimus backing up on the ramp as Boomstick looks on in shock and Wiz in sadness.
Wiz: See, Optimus Prime's victory may be clear, but he won through sheer luck and brutality. By his own standards, he cheated and must now commit Autobot seppuku.
The screen briefly cuts to Optimus driving off the ramp and to his death as we cut back to Wiz and Boomstick.
Boomstick: (crying) Oh... goodbye, Wings of Iron. You were the light in our darkest hour...
Wiz: What was there to gain from all this? I-I don't know.
The monitor cuts to Ringmaster.
Ringmaster: Eh... it still counts. Hey, come back next time for another DEATH RACE!
==Original Track==
===Composition===
The track for this race is "Thomas Strikes Back" by Therewolf Media.
===Title===
The title refers to how Thomas comes back in the latter half of the race via Skyrim mods after he runs himself off the track.
===Cover Art===
The cover art simply depicts the Death Race logo in front of an evening sky.
==Trivia==
===Production===
*The connections between the racers are that they are all sentient vehicles/drive sentient vehicles.
===Easter Eggs===
*Boomstick's line, "Can't go around the bends like that, Tommy!" is a reference to the "Down the hills and round the bends" lyric from the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song.
*Boomstick's parting words to Optimus after he kills himself at the end of the race has him call the Autobot "Wings of Iron", the name of the original track for his Death Battle episode, and "the light in our darkest hour", referencing his death scene in The Transformers: The Movie.
===Other===
Category:Death Race Episodes