'Night of the Were-Chimp'

Musical guest: Carrie Underwood
Act 5 - Audience members (Genevieve Hannelius, Denyse Tontz and Bailee Madison) introduce Carrie Underwood
== Quotes ==
[cold open, he heard a owl chirping and hooting in her cage.]
I can't let you out, I'm not allowed to perform a magic act outside of school. [the owl nibbles at her lock, squawking loudly] Besides, if--
[angrily from downstairs] !
[In the kitchen, his mum is working on a cake]
I'm warning you. If you can't control that bird, it'll have to go.
But she's bored. If I could only let her out for... an hour or two.
[chuckles] So you can send secret messages to your freaky little friends? No, sir.
But I haven't had any messages from any of my friends. Not one. All summer.
Who would want to be friends with you? 
I should think you'd be a little more grateful. We've raised you since you a were a baby, given you the food off our table, even let you have the second bedroom, purely out of the goodness of our hearts.
Not now, bumpkins. It's for when the Masons arrive.
Which should be any minute. [motions for his family to come into the living room] Now, let's go over our schedule once again, shall we? When the Masons arrive, you will be...?
In the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously to our home.
Good. And, you will be...?
I'll be waiting to open the door.
Excellent. And you...?
I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.
Too right you will. With any luck, this could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career, and you will not mess it up.
Erica: [humming] Sorry about this, Dust, but it's spring cleaning time.
Corey: Good morn— [sneezes] good mor— [sneezes] good— [sneezes and gets stuck in a birdcage] Good morning, Sunshine!
Erica: your not feeling well? (Screams) what do you want? Can't you get that through your thick skull?
[after tightening the bars, he glares, who glares back at him through the window] You're never going back to the studio. You're never going to see those friends of yours again. Never!
[Later that evening, as he’s asleep in bed, he hears what sounds like a car engine outside. Waking up. Looking out the window, he sees a strange object moving through the sky. As he looks, the object appears to be a shooting star, before turning into two beams of light. A private jet flies to his bedroom window]
Hiya, what are you doing here?
Rescuing you, of course. Now, come on. Get your trunk!
[Eventually, he gotten dressed, packed his trunk with some necessities, shuts it closed, and locks it.]
[putting a hook at the bars] You'd better stand back. [steps back] Let's go!
[The car pulls the bars on window off. SMASH! His parents wake up.]
Oh! Now, what the devils he doing?
What’s going on!?
Go, go, go, go!
Dad, hurry up!
Come on! Hurry up!
He’s escaping! I’ve got you!
Come here!
[struggles to get out of grip.] Let go of me!
Oh no, boy! You aren’t going anywhere!
Get off!
Drive!
No! No! No! No! Aaaah! [He falls from the window and lands in the garden.]
Henry: (in different voice with red eyes glowing) Give me these.
Henry: (looks at the moon) That was good adventure from the action league, but what’s that? A drinking potion, oh well, I’ll be able to drink it
Corey: no! Don’t drink it!
Erica: you'll become a chimp if you drink it
June: Can I come in?
Henry:Uh, no, I'm, uh, doing something in here. (Continues to drink)
June: You may be surprised. Whatever it is, son, you can tell me. I'll understand.
Henry: No, not this time. (Continues again)
June: Henry, this is your friend speaking, open the door!
Henry: And we’re back with Kablam. If you’re joining us right now, I transformed myself into a were-chimp 
June: And of course, our cohost Hector is still listing his past accomplishments.
Hector: And there's “Best Teeth” which I’ve been winning since my last baby tooth came out. I’m proud of that one. One that I’m not really proud of is “Oldest kid in Elementary School”. Strange thing about that one is I had to repeat the fourth grade like eight times. I was too busy to really hit the books, you know…
Allisyn Ashley Arm: Does this guy ever stops talking?
Hector: And there was the “Cutest Butt” award. Let me tell you about that one…
(June rings a gong, interrupting Hector)
June: That’s enough. Thank you.
Hector: But I haven’t told you about my biggest achievement. Winning the Disney Channel Heartthrob of the Year award.
June: Speaking of heartthrob, 
Audience members (Denyse): Okay everybody, put your hands together for the county singer we’ve all been talking about 
Audience members (Genevieve, Denyse and Bailee): Carrie Underwood with All-American Girl! 
Carrie Underwood: Since the day they got married, he'd been praying for a little baby boy. 
Someone he could take fishing, throw the football and be his pride and joy. 
He could already see him holding that trophy, taking his team to State. 
But when the nurse came in with a little pink blanket, all those big dreams changed. 
And now he's wrapped around her finger, she's the center of his whole world. 
And his heart belongs to that sweet little beautiful, wonderful, perfect all-American girl. 
Sixteen short years later, she was falling for the senior football star. 
Before you knew it he was dropping passes, skipping practice just to spend more time with her. 
The coach said "Hey son, what's your problem? Tell me, have you lost your mind?" 
Daddy said "You'll lose your free ride to college. Boy you better tell her goodbye". 
But now he's wrapped around her finger, she's the center of his whole world. 
And his heart belongs to that sweet little beautiful, wonderful, perfect all-American 
And when they got married and decided to have one of their own, she said "Be honest, tell me what you want?" 
And he said "Honey, you wanna know, sweet, little, beautiful, one just like you. 
Oh, a beautiful, wonderful, perfect all-American." 
Now he's wrapped around her finger, she's the center of his whole world.
And his heart belongs to that sweet little beautiful, wonderful, perfect all-American girl. 
All American girl.
Category:Episodes