A Familiar Love

"A Familiar Love" is a BOTGD 2 thread written on [date].
== Summary ==
== Full Text ==
Dario Hjort: The snow on Haligan had receded in the wake of a heat wave; the ground outside of the healer’s domain was soggy, creating an unpleasant sensation for the stag as he trudged through on a walk to clear his mind. Dario had not managed to pull himself out of his own head for long enough to even get out of bed, and getting some air was the only way he could think to remove his fixation on the events of the previous week. The grounds near the Great Hall were nowhere on his mental map – he was not prepared to revisit there again, at least not for a long while.
His hands, still healing from the damage sustained in his bout with Sylar and unintended collateral damage in Milae, were gently wrapped and inspected every few hours to assess progress. Though he was told the worst was behind him, the searing pain and incessant tingling made him want to plunge them into the mix of slush and dirt below. Not being able to perform incantations was a punishment in it’s own right – not being able to use his hands at all was another entirely. He could feel the muscles tense under the still tender skin, sending a chill of discomfort through his entire body.
Maybe Vox can show me how to lose them. Might make everyone’s lives a little bit easier.
Dario raised his head to look at the nearly cloudless sky; his head unhindered by antlers. Though it was by all accounts a beautiful morning, he could not find himself capable of truly perceiving it. If nothing else, it was a moment for him to reflect alone on his past, and what the future held with recent developments in place… even if the last thing he could ever want was to be alone.
Yun Milae: The door to the building behind him gently clicked and swung open, and then there were familiar narrow footsteps in the cold, muddy ground. Milae emerged into the sunlight, blinking under his mess of fur, and he had a sheet wrapped all the way around his shoulders to replace the usual warmth of his cloak, which was in filthy tatters back at a site he’d rather forget existed. 
“Ah. You did not go far, I see.” He grinned a bit sheepishly, as though to acknowledge that his worry about Dario’s whereabouts was pointless. “Feeling alright?”
Dario: Dario wanted to look Milae in the eyes, smile as wide as he could, and tell him that everything in his mind was as it should have been… but he also wanted to tell the truth. His partner deserved that much.
“I’m still having a hard time.” Dario’s voice was flat and matter-of-fact. Even during small talks with Yun about what he was enduring mentally, the deer felt an overwhelming emptiness that removed any externalized signs of emotional distress. “I’m afraid to even be near you… for your sake. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
He pivoted to face the goat, unsure of what to do with his hands.
“That was… not who I am. I know you know this, and I know that I don’t have to say it… but even if it isn’t what I know myself to be, I’m still concerned that it could happen again. I lost it, Milae. I don’t remember a single second of what I did to Sylar, and part of me is grateful for that. I went too far – because I was so scared of the idea that I could be trapped again, like what he did before. I couldn’t let myself- couldn’t let you endure that. Not without letting myself be killed first.”
He laughed softly, looking upwards at the now brighter skyline.
“I need to talk to Yun more. I’m usually way less organized with my thoughts, but I think he helped me to put it all together.”
Milae: Milae gingerly stepped next to Dario, respecting the space that he wanted to keep, and tucked his hooves in front of himself, tracing one of the points across the scars in his arm. Of course he knew what Dario had been feeling, or at least something relatively close to it. “The lengths we go to,” he said softly, “to keep each other safe.”
He closed his eyes and soaked in the sunlight, feeling the breeze rustle through his fur. “He does have a way of thinking, doesn’t he? A fresh mind in an old world. One that I thought I had thoroughly worn out for myself.” He looked up at Dario again, and there was a certain gleam in his eye. Dario would recognize it as the light that he saw when Milae went on about timelines, along with a certain comfort in his posture. “I think he enjoys speaking with you, too, very much.”
Dario: “I would hope so.” Dario managed to feign a more believable smile. “I mean, you’ve managed to tolerate me up to this point.”
The stag shuffled himself closer to Milae, looking further down as he did so. He often forgot just how small the half-breed was in comparison to himself.
“I am worried about him, Milae. I mean… he’s worried for himself, and though I may not completely get what’s going on, I can’t help but think that it’s an uphill battle for him.” He lightly tapped the bandaged hands together; a proxy to his typical nervous habit. “I guess he’s grown on me. I don’t want to see him hurt… but I also know that there is nothing I can do to feasibly help here. You have done such a good job in mentoring him, and I’m thankful that he has that going for him, but the sidelines will only do so much when it comes to the real thing.”
Milae: “He’s doing fine.” The words were a little rushed, but he believed them. “I…” He took a deep breath, thinking. “I wish…he was not in this position. But…it’s not something I can change. Not any more.” His eyes were trained on his forearms. “Besides…he probably has the brightest outlook on all of this as anyone else we know. That alone does wonders for effort.”
Dario: A bandaged hand floated into the goat’s view as he watched it lightly tap against a forearm. Dario didn’t know what else he could do to show any physical affection without causing himself undue pain.
“You’re not wrong there. It’s nice to have someone with that demeanor around. I’m not oblivious to the idea that I’ve been quite the, uh, pessimist lately.” The stag swayed a bit, uncomfortable in his self-reflecting. “I don’t like who I have been lately, and I’m sorry for everything… beyond even just giving you a matching injury.”
He leaned himself slightly against the goat, hoping that his attempt at some humor would land. The delivery was certainly lackluster.
“I think I’m just having a hard time with what comes after all of this… for me, anyway. I felt like I was able to be of use back at the Jaw, but when it’s all said and done, I don’t know what I’m meant to do in the grand scheme of it all. In a weird way, I can’t help but feel a bit… jealous of Yun, as insane as I’m sure that sounds. Having something that dire looming around you at every turn is a horrifying prospect, but it at least gives some perspective. I am lucky to have a second shot at life, and a long one at that. I don’t want to look back on it and feel like I lost myself at some point.”
Milae: There was an unusually long moment of silence, especially for Milae. The half-breed was staring down the road at the residents of Haligan going about their day, doing relatively mundane tasks with their relatively mundane families. He caught a glimpse of a familiar figure, a tousle of thick black hair and a shimmer of teal thread. The boy had his shoulder down under a large rack of hanging baskets, helping a thick-bearded man lift it into the back of his cart to the best of his ability. Yun was short enough that as the load was raised high enough, he had to straighten his arms completely above his head, and it was a bit comical to watch, his cheeks puffing with effort and looking very serious and satisfied with his given assistance. Milae blinked, as though just now processing the deer’s words.
“When did you learn to read my mind, Dario?” Milae half-joked. His voice was a little strained. But he cleared his throat and looked back at the peaceful scene, steadying himself. 
“I think I’ve learned some things.” He nodded his head in Yun’s direction. “Look at him. He’s barely caught a breath in between our training sessions, have you seen? He’s always helping someone. But not by going in to change their lives, nothing so drastic. He just…helps.” A ball rolled up to bump the back of Yun’s heel, and he turned around in surprise, seeing several of the village’s children of varying ages running down the street past him. One of them jogged to a stop and tucked their hands behind their back, saying something to him, and he glanced at the man he had helped, who waved his hand cheerily. A grin broke out over his face, and he picked up the ball and joined the game, quickly darting after them.
“I think,” Milae said slowly, “that from his perspective, in the face of something like Frigga, threatened with the timelines themselves unraveling and losing everything he knows, misplaced from his home and having every reason to feel sorry for himself…if through all this, he believes that the most important thing to do is to help others…then maybe these lives, the ones that seem to matter so little, and make us feel so hopeless…maybe they mean more than we think they do. These small moments, and tedious tasks. The pain. The joy.”
Milae’s hooves pulled the thin blanket further around himself, warding off the cold. “Maybe we are meant to find meaning in these things once more.”
Dario: Maybe we are meant to find meaning in these things once more.
The words struck Dario in a manner he hadn’t expected – he could feel them cause his heart to tighten in his chest. He watched alongside his partner, focused on the young man in the distance.
“I think you’re right.” Dario felt himself shudder, noting that the temperature had dropped slightly. He looked to a nearby bench and gently placed a hand on Milae’s back to naviage themselves to it. The deer took a seat, allowing the goat to lean against him in a more comfortable embrace than he could offer on his feet. His still tender arms draped over Milae’s torso, pulling him tight into Dario. “I know I tend to overthink things, and I guess this was just all meant to come out right now. I think I’m still in the… rediscovery process, I guess? I just want to find my place in all of this again.”
He leaned his head down to align parallel to Milae’s, resting his chin against the goat’s shoulder.
“I’ve also been struggling with… you, for lack of a better term… or rather, what you gave up for me. I know we’ve broached that topic a few times, but I still can’t help but feel like a big part of you left that night. I don’t know if everything with Yun has been helping or harming that, but… I want you to know that I’m sorry for it, even if you don’t blame me. I know that meant a lot to you.”
Milae: Milae squeezed Dario’s knee, in replacement for his hand. “It meant too much to me. Besides…I like to think I have a good sense of fate. I think this was meant to happen.” He nuzzled his love’s cheek, warming his cold skin with his fur. Still, he wasn’t sure how to answer the question of how mentoring Yun made him feel. It was vicarious, in a good way, he supposed…the bite of jealousy was something he rarely felt around the young man…
…but he had felt it.
“We’ll have to see how this turns out,” he answered instead.
Dario: “That we will… and I cannot stress how badly I want all of this to be over with.” He leaned back on the bench, letting his head fall with a sigh. “I’m thankful that we’ve come out of this relatively unscathed, but I won’t sit here and pretend that I don’t worry for Yun, and for everyone else by extension. I mean, Hel, I worry about what I’m capable of, now that I’ve… uh, hurt someone I love.” 
Dario quickly glanced to the still healing welt on Milae’s face; the guilt from that would resonate for a long time, and he had grown to accept that.
“All that being said… I think Yun can do this. You’re an incredible teacher, and you have all of the patience in the world. He is very lucky to have you.”
Milae: Milae hummed, still looking off down the street even though Yun was long gone. Both his ears flicked in succession. 
“Do you think so?” he asked. He was quiet, but not grim. Merely thoughtful. Concerned. He knew that the fear of not being enough to the young man who had been given everything he could need was real, and haunting. 
Dario: The stag could feel a wavering confidence, not unlike that which he could read in himself most days. It felt poetic that the tides would turn in a way that would put him in the position to provide affirmation.
“It’s far more than think. You’ve taught me what it means to make sacrifices, and what it means to make a seemingly impossible decision in the face of everything against you. You taught me that to confide in someone else is far from weakness, and that I have value to offer the world.” Dario had been extending a leg out as he spoke, lifting one of Milae’s and letting it drop repeatedly. The deer’s tone was soft, almost melodic. “I believe that you and I can agree that I am not anywhere close to who I was a year ago… and I like to think it’s for the better. I have been so lucky to have you through it all, and if Yun gets to experience even a little bit of what I have, I have no doubt that it will change him for the better too.”
He looked down to see Milae’s attention still pointed away. Yun had been out of sight for a bit of time now, but despite not being visible, Dario knew that the goat couldn’t take his mind off of the young man.
“Have faith in yourself, like you have for me.”
Milae: Milae finally let go of staring off down the street, and looked up to Dario, his hazel eyes and odd pupils soft in the light of the clear day. There was worry, but there was also resolution. It could go well, it could go terribly. But the amount of devotion Milae felt to the people around him, and Yun especially, almost daunted him. There was no option of stealing Dario to another timeline to hide any longer. There was no spiral of obsessive, selfish fervor from his early days as a seidkonur. He was just here. A half-breed, living like any other half-breed. And they were much smaller shoes to fill than before. Milae no longer felt like he was standing in the shadow of his own potential.
He curled up under Dario’s chin and gingerly lifted his arm, pressing his velvet muzzle to the back of his bandaged hand in a tender kiss. “You are far too sweet for my own good,” he murmured.
Dario: Dario felt himself wince in preparation for any discomfort that the goat’s love language would possibly bring, but there was no pain to be had. The few words said everything that the deer had hoped to hear.
“You say that, but I know that you get in your head far too often… coming from someone who does the same.” He gently kissed Milae’s cheek, letting it linger for a moment longer than usual. “We will find ourselves again in time. Regardless of what is ahead, knowing that I’ll have you there to pull me back to my feet when I fall is enough – and I hope you know that I’ll be there in the same respect.”
A breeze ruffled Dario’s hair as he watched the exposed fur of Milae follow the same flowing patterns. The air was becoming frigid, and it wouldn’t be too long before daylight would become dark enough to freeze the two of them out.
“I think it’s getting close to calling it a night… but I’m always ready to tell you about how great you are when you need to hear it. You can bet that will be the case when we get back to the Jaw and I get to watch you and Yun again.”
Milae: Milae grinned and nosed into Dario’s flushed cheek. “Of course you are. Two of your favorite things in one place.” Milae himself thought tenderly of Yun, like a lost family member–but he knew Dario absolutely adored the young man.
Dario: Flashbacks to Yun and Milae’s first training session together stuck persistently in Dario’s mind, and given the weight of the rest of them, it was welcomed. The deer felt an immense pride when he thought of his partner’s role in Yun’s progression.
“I couldn’t ask for more.”
The light faded swiftly across Haligan; night setting in and bringing a cold that would freeze out even the heartiest of soldiers. Dario took to his hooves, pulling Milae up with him.
“Time to turn in? We need to get ourselves well enough to return to the Jaw. I don’t want to be gone terribly long.”
Milae: “Of course. There are still battles to be won. We will need our strength.”
Category:Events
Category:BOTGD 2
Category:Dario Hjort
Category:Yun Milae