Patch (episode)

This is the thirty-first episode of The SBFW Chronicles.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with a mysterious figure getting off a just stopped bus, labeled “THE PATCH BUS”)
???: And I’m off the patch bus! And now I know what I must do next. I MUST PROVE I AM NOT UNFUNNY! (laughs maniacally)
Golf: LAUGHING IS FOR THE WEAK!
???: Didn’t ask.
(The figure starts walking on the sidewalk, obviously having unknown intentions)
???: Ah, I have finally arrived at… Squidward’s Toilet? What kind of fucking name is that?
(The unknown figure gets on his phone and starts chatting on “Squidward’s Toilet”, which is just another name for the SBFW crib)
???: Ayo, yo yo yo. My name is PATCH!
(His message instantly gets 6 hahaaaaas)
Patch: WHAT’S SO FUNNY?
Vanessa: Yo where did you come from?
Patch: From patch town. From the patch bus.
(His message gets 5 hahaaaaas)
Patch: (to himself) I don't understand… Why do they think I'm funny now?
SpongeBot: Say, I like this guy. Welcome aboard, Patch.
Patch: Hooray!
Vanessa: Hey Patch, do you like pedo memes?
Ally: Do you like these nuts?
Patch: I guess…
Ally: YAY
YAY
YAY
YAY
YAY
YAY
SpongeBot: Oh dear…
Patch: is this a normal occurrence?
SpongeBot: Yes it is.
Patch: Patch.
(His message gets more hahaaaas)
Patch: Well now that I’m here, what have you guys been up to?
SpongeBot: I think you already know what Ally’s up to.
Vanessa: And I’ve been making more pedo memes!
(Vanessa posts a new pedo meme she made, with Mr. Gus saying “the age of consent should be abolished”)
SpongeBot: HA! NOW THAT IS FUNNY!
Ally: Panties
Aaron: (some stupid song lyric idfk)
Ally: Underwear
Granite: Hey guys, did you know that Adolf Hitler’s birthday is on April 20?
(Nobody talks for a solid minute)
Vanessa: …I think everyone here knows that.
Granite: WELL I DIDN’T!
Patch: Thanks for the information, Granite. Patch.
Granite: Hello Patch, do you want to join the Show Stoppers?
Patch: The what?
SpongeBot: Heheheh, don’t listen to him, he just needs to take his meds.
Granite: But I don’t take any medication!
(Granite gets muted)
SpongeBot: Yes you do, now stay quiet.
Patch: This server seems pretty crazy ngl.
SpongeBot: You’ll get used to it.
Patch: I’m sure I will.
SpongeBot: Now, where are you actually from?
Patch: I said that already. The Patch Bus.
(more hahaaaas)
Vanessa: Something’s up.
Patch: Huh?
Vanessa: Who are you exactly?
Patch: Patch.
Vanessa: No you’re not.
Patch: Yes I am. I am Patch. Now then, I’ll be going offline now.
(Two weeks later…)
Patch: (to himself) I can’t do it… I can’t do it anymore! I need to reveal my identity! I CAN’T LIVE THIS LIE ANYMORE!
(Patch then types an entire fucking essay on how he is actually NotJoe from SBFW)
Liz: What the fuck
Patch: Yep. Pff… welp.
(Patch gets banned)
SpongeBot: Well I’ve had enough of this Joker arc. Now who wants to watch Channel 5?
Zoltan: OOH OHH! ME! ME!
SpongeBot: No you don’t.
Zoltan: YES I DO!
(Outside of the server, Patch is heading back onto the Patch bus to go back home)
Bus lady: Didn’t work out, huh?
Patch: Nope, they found out who I am and now I’m banned.
Bus lady: That’ll be 26 cents. Inflation is getting worse, y’know.
Patch: (sighs as he gives the lady 26 cents)
(The episode ends)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:FireMatch
Category:2020s