Why I love Azusa Nakano

Why I love Azusa Nakano is a video where Tim elaborates further on his love for Azusa, giving more context on top of My love for Azusa Nakano.
== Description ==
Link to My Love For Azusa Nakano: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYEdSGopKUc&t=0s
Link to KHFMcAwesome: https://www.youtube.com/user/KHFMcAwesome
Link to K-On fanfics: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLb5xHMi6wxh9UeVBp16pTUf9PNrCuCDuC
== Transcript ==
Hey guys. As I'm sure most if not all of you are aware, I have a waifu; Azusa Nakano from K-On. It's no secret that I am insanely in love with her, and wish more than almost anything that we could be together. I did make a video almost a year ago about my love for her (link to that video in the description box), but I don't think I did a very good job explaining why. Why do I love Azusa so much? Why am I keeping a firm hold of her despite the facts that A. she isn't real and B. I have a 3D girlfriend who I'm sure we can all agree I need to prioritize. So that is what this video is about. I'm going to try and clear some things up. Bit of a warning, this will just be a video showing a pic of Azusa with me talking, so if you're the type who gets bored easily while listening to someone droning on about something, I highly recommend clicking off this video. Don't say I didn't warn you. 
Okay, I guess I should start from the beginning. Keep in mind I'm going off memory. K-On came out in 2005, I believe. I had already seen some anime by then, but was still quite new to the anime community. I didn't actually find out what anime was until I was about 18 or 19, so I was late to the scene. By the time I started watching the show, my favourite anime girls/women folder was slowly filling up. I started K-On like normal, and watched it until Azusa was introduced. Now one of my Facebook friends said something along the lines of "You just know when you found your waifu." At the time, I had yet to come across the word waifu. I don't even know when people started using the word. But even if I had, I don't think I would have known I'd found her. However, given that Azusa has been with me since then- plus/minus eleven years now- I think she must have found me. I know that sounds so ridiculous on so many levels. 
I've done seven fanfictions where she and I become a couple, and I'm making them into fanfiction reading videos. In the first one, when I'm confessing to her, I said "When I first saw you, I felt something... click." I think that's what really happened with me. Something must have clicked. At least subconsciously. At the time, I had what I called my 13 angels, inspired by KHF from his old accounts. I have long since disbanded them, but I still hold on to Azusa. I think that another reason I hold her so dear is because she helped me through a difficult time during my love life. I'm not going into details, but I will say that, through mostly my own mistakes, I lost two of my girlfriends several years ago. I'm back with one of them now, and we've patched things up and moved on. But during that time, even though I suffer from alexithymia which means I'm not really the emotional type, I was left with a huge hole in my heart and was single for a few years. It was during that time that I found Azusa and I believe she helped fill the void. I was able to project my feelings onto her and eventually I fell in love. And now it's gotten to the point where I'm not sure what my life would be like without her. 
I imagine I would have another waifu, as there's no shortage of other fictional girls who could take her place. I think the ones that come closest to Azusa, in terms of finding a place in my heart, would be Aya Komichi from Kiniro Mosaic, Sora Saionji from Homeward, and Kim *Hyun-ae from Analogue: A Hate Story. I would include Hate Plus, but that game was more about *Mute. But even if I did have another waifu, I can't help asking myself, would I feel for her the way I do about Azusa? That's a really tough question to answer. It's possible, but I just don't know. I am certain that there is going to come a day when I will have to let go of Azusa. The rational side of me knows that it could very well happen. I don't know if there are any older anime fans who still have a waifu. I am aware that there are some people in the world who have actually married their waifu. I can't see myself doing that far. But the other part of me doesn't want to let her go. She is such an important part of my world; I don't know if I can let her go. 
I'm obviously going to get married to a real woman at some point, and that is something I want to do. But if it does happen, I could have to give up Azusa. So I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place basically. My current girlfriend does know how I feel about Azusa, and for the most part, she is okay with it. But I really want to have a future with her. And if by some chance we are able to get married and maybe start a family, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to make a choice as much as I don't like the thought. Because at the end of the day, she's real, and Azusa isn't. I might be able to have a future with her- I say might because she's Asian, and Asian parents can be very protective- but I can't have a future with Azusa. Not unless magic and miracles exist. 
So that's about it. I love Azusa like I would a real person. I know she's not real. I know she can never return my feelings. I know I can never have a future with her. I know I may have to let her go one day. But that doesn't stop me feeling the way I do about her. And until such a day comes that I have to say goodbye, I'm holding her tightly in my heart. She is incredibly precious to me and there's not a thing anyone can say that can change how I feel about her. I hope I've cleared things up for some of you at least a little bit. I've been thinking of doing this video for a little while. If you have to bash me, try not to go insane. That's all for now. So please remember to rate, comment, and subscribe, and as always, stay chilled.