The Final COUNT-Down

The fourteenth and penultimate chapter of Total Drama School, posted on December 31, 2010. Only three remain: Amanda, Carson, and Sharissa, and before the finals, they must face off in the scariest school subject of all... math.
==Story==
Chris says, "Last time on Total... Drama... School, the remaining four lucky ducks were plopped down into the forest that surrounds the School. Sharissa, like always, was crazy, Amanda was unconscious most of the time, and Carson got back first. In the end, Alex became a victim to his own laziness, getting back last and automatically getting eliminated. Poor kid. I thought he was gonna win. Well, it's down to our final three! Who's going to take the School Bus of Losers, which, by the way, has an awesome new paint job, next? Find out today on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Confessional (Carson): Wow, I'm really stoked. I mean, I can't believe I've made it to the final three. I just hope I don't make some overly optimistic statement and end up getting voted out.
Confessional (Sharissa): Yeah, the final three is sorta cool. It'd be even cooler if cruddy little Alex was around. I sorta have no chance of winning... but who cares? I'm just here for the fun.
Confessional (Amanda): Look. I'm in the final three now. It just goes to show ya, being snobby and rude can go a long way! I think I can win. Well, the remaining two others are freaks. A weird kid who thinks he's funny and cool and has a huge crush on me, and a deranged psychopath who's probably been to juvy more times than Gary has said 'over 9000'.
Confessional (Carson): In TDI, I remember, the final three was pretty similar. Well, Heather is sorta like Amanda, but Amanda's hot, and a better antagonist. Gwen is nothin' like Sharissa, aside from the way she dresses. And me? I've heard some people compare me to Owen. But how? It's not like I'll win or anythin'.
Confessional (Sharissa): This game has been sooooo easy. I hope Chris makes a pretty hard challenge today, I'm getting sick of all this easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy stuff.
Confessional (Amanda): I really don't want to say this, but I think I'm starting to actually like Carson. I don't mean romantic! I just mean, like... a friend. Or probably just an acquaintance. You know, boys and girls can still be friends-- er, acquaintances without dating! Urgh!
Chris, after watching the confessional marathon, yawns and says, "Y'know, I might actually get rid of the confessional next season. Waste of screen time. Anyways, I've got a pretty cool surprise for the lucky three. Let's see what it is when they get over here."
The remaining three students walk over to Chris.
Carson says, "You said a surprise?"
Amanda says, "Do you mean a nice and fun surprise, or a fun for you and near-death for us surprise?"
"Well..." Chris contemplates. "It's a little bit of both."
Chris leads the cast to a golden-plated room. There's cushy, comfy-looking couches and a refrigerator. There's also massage chairs, a plasma TV, a lot of lava lamps, and something that looks a bit like a new confessional.
"Whoa." says everyone.
"You guys have some fun in here for a couple minutes..." says Chris, "And then, in an hour, come to the Gym. We have a pretty fun challenge today. And by fun, I mean dangerous."
The contestants groan.
"See ya later." says Chris. "Meet me at the Gym in ten." He walks away.
"Well, guys," says Carson, "You heard the man. Let's just have some fun in here for a couple minutes..." He yawns and lies on the couch.
"Yeah, whatever." says Amanda. "I'll be in the confessional strategizing."
Confessional (Amanda): I said I'd be strategizing, but I'm really here to get away from those freaks. Wow, this confessional is pretty nice. A gold toilet seat? Diamond-crested walls? A mounted moose head? Actually, that thing is kind of creepy.
Amanda runs out of the confessional screaming.
"What?" says Sharissa. "Ol' Moosy givin' ya the heebie-jeebies?"
"Shut up." says Amanda.
"Aw, cheer up." says Carson. "Want me to massage your back?"
"Nope." says Amanda. She gets out her phone and begins texting.
"What'cha doin'?" says Carson annoyingly.
"Texting. Leave me alone." says Amanda.
"Who ya textin'?" says Carson.
"Your mom." says Amanda. "Now, I guess you didn't hear me the first time." She says this louder. "Leave me alone."
"Wait, your mom's name is 'Heather'?" says Carson.
"No." says Amanda.
"But you said you were tex--"
"I was joking." interrupts Amanda. "Now get, before I tell Chris."
"Chris is on my side." says Carson.
"And why?" says Amanda.
The two begin to bicker. Sharissa gets up from the couch and walks away. "I'm tellin' Chris." she says.
"It's all your fault." says Amanda.
"Oh really?" says Carson seductively. "Well then I must be a bad, bad boy."
"Tell me how," says Amanda lightly.
"Really want me to?" Carson wiggles his eyebrows.
"C'mon." says Amanda.
Carson lunges in, and the two begin to make out. Once they're done kissing for 20 seconds, Amanda coughs and spits.
"What was that for?" says Amanda angrily.
"You were being all seductive 'n' stuff." says Carson. "You wanted me to do that."
"I didn't think!" screeches Amanda. She runs into the confessional to wash her hands.
Confessional (Amanda): Eeeugh! That was nasty! I hate that kid! If you think we're now a couple or whatever, you're so wrong. I will come to your house with a stick and hunt you.
Amanda runs back out of the confessional. Sharissa comes back, and says, "What just happened?"
"Carson tried to make out with me!" says Amanda.
"Oooooh!" says Sharissa embarrassingly.
"Shut up." says Amanda. "I swear, I will kill you"
"So, are you guys like an official couple or something now? Is it like a love-hate relationship? I love those! Like in TDI, Heather and Alejandro! But then Al got turned into a robot, so that sorta wrecked the rest of the relationship." recalls Sharissa.
"For the last time, shut up." growls Amanda.
"Don't you ever get tired of saying that?" asks Sharissa.
"Shut up." continues Amanda.
"You're like a broken record!" argues Sharissa. "If you're gonna tell me to shut up, say 'be quiet' or somethin' a little more polite. Jeez."
"All right. Be quiet." says Amanda.
"Naah, I'm good." says Sharissa.
Amanda huffs away.
Confessional (Sharissa): I can't believe it! Carson and Amanda! They seemed like pure enemies at first. But now they're a cute couple! AIEE! I wonder if Alex likes me. Prob'ly not, considering all the things I do to him.
"So, the official couples now are..." Sharissa counts on her fingers. "Me and Alex, Meg and Gary, and now you two love-turds!"
"Those are some seriously mismatched couples." says Carson. "And I hate Amanda. I just wanted that kiss, but now I've realized that she is a @#$%!"
"Ooh, some tension goin' on then." says Sharissa.
"Are you good at matching things?" says Carson.
"What, like playing cards? I'm the state champion for Concentration." says Sharissa proudly.
"No, ding-dong, I meant, like, people. Can you match people?" says Carson.
"Nope, not really." says Sharissa.
"So, you're no help at all?" says Carson.
"Pretty much." says Sharissa. She waits for a moment. She then starts humming.
"What?" says Carson.
"I know what you should do." says Sharissa.
"What?" says Carson.
"Go up to her, and compliment her. That's th' first step." says Sharissa.
Confessional (Carson): I don't know if Sharissa's the best person to trust.
"Oh, all right." says Carson. He walks up to Amanda.
"What do you want?" says Amanda disgustedly.
"I love your shirt." says Carson.
"Yeah, right." says Amanda. "Now, shoo! Get away from me!"
Carson mopes back to Sharissa, and says, "Didn't work."
"Too bad, Cars." says Sharissa. "Next, you have to compliment her on her hair."
"I tried her shirt, that didn't work. How's saying I like her hair gonna work, especially the fact that I actually hate it! It's like a rat's nest!" says Carson.
"Just do it. Trust me, girls love that kind of thing." says Sharissa.
"Fine. But if it doesn't work, I'm blaming you." says Carson. He walks up to Amanda. "Hey, Amanda?"
"What now?" she says.
"I like your hair today, it looks really... good on you. Hot. That stuff." says Carson.
Amanda blushes. "Thanks!" she says.
Carson runs back over to Sharissa. "You're a genius!" he says.
"I know." beams Sharissa.
"How can I ever repay you?" says Carson.
"Massage my back." says Sharissa.
"Why do... Fine." Carson reluctantly massages Sharissa's back.
Around five minutes later, Chris says on the loudspeaker, "Attention, final three! Your challenge is about to begin! And remember, no phones allowed in the school! McLean out."
Amanda glares at Sharissa. "You snitched," she says.
Sharissa sheepishly grins.
Later, in the Gym, Chris sees the final three. "Greetings. Today's challenge is based off of a famous, or should I say infamous, school subject. Mathematics."
"What's that?" says Sharissa.
"Well, most of you know it as math." says Chris.
"Ohhhhh." realizes Sharissa.
"Anyways, what I was going to say before Sharissa rudely interrupted me was what types of math are you guys in?" says Chris.
"Calculus." says Amanda.
"Don't know, and don't care." says Sharissa.
"Pre-Algebra." says Carson.
"All right," says Chris. "On with the challenge... Wait, Pre-Algebra and you're sixteen?"
"I suck at math," says Carson.
"That's... good to know." says Chris. "Now that I know the various math levels you guys are in, time to explain the challenge."
"Whoo-hoo." says Amanda sarcastically.
"First up, you will get into these foamy costumes," says Chris, and points to some costumes that look like math signs. "And then, you'll tackle each other. I call this challenge 'Math Wars'."
"Is this seriously a challenge?" asks Amanda.
"Yes, it seriously is. The producers were running out of ideas again. I think I may have to fire some."
The contestants look at Chris strangely.
"Stop looking at me like that! It's awkward." Chris says. "So, Amanda, you can get into this + costume."
Amanda reluctantly puts on the + costume. "This is so blocky." she says.
"I know." laughs Chris. "Next up, Carson, put on this - costume."
"Subtraction? Isn't that the thing where you borrow from your neighbor?" says Carson.
"You are a very special child." says Chris. "Just put it on."
Carson grumbles and puts on the costume.
"All right, and finally Sharissa... put on this square root thingy." says Chris.
"So Carson and Amanda get these simple, cool symbols and I get a square root?" says Sharissa. "Nice."
"Yeah, I know." smirks Chris. "The interns took hours making these."
A chunk of Amanda's costume suddenly falls off. "Pretty skilled interns you've got there," says Amanda.
"I hope you're not being sarcastic." replies Chris.
"So, how do we win this thing?" says Carson.
"Um... I don't really know. Let's just find out. Are you ready to beat each other up?" says Chris.
The contestants nod their heads.
"Well then..." says Chris. "GO!"
"Sharissa!" says Carson. "Let me hide behind you!"
"Why?" asks Sharissa.
"Um..." replies Carson. "Because you're tall, and I want to win this challenge!"
Sharissa reluctantly agrees.
Carson steps onto Sharissa's back.
Sharissa collapses. "How much do you weigh?!?" she screams.
"Like, 96." says Carson.
"It was a rhetorical question," says Carson. "Now, let's run before Amanda gets here."
"Gets where?" says Amanda. She is right behind them.
"Aw, crap." says Sharissa. She starts to look angry.
Amanda says, "Uh-oh." and begins to sprint away. But she trips over her + costume, and sees Sharissa looming over her. Sharissa tackles her and starts to throw punches at her. Carson falls off, too, and joins in the fight. The three beat each other up, until Chris intervenes.
"QUIET!" screams Chris. "Gosh, guys. I didn't really think it would get that violent. Well, whatever. The challenge is over. Nobody won, so all three of you are fair game in tonight's vote, which will be in twenty minutes and 57 seconds."
Confessional (Carson): That was a really short challenge... I'm still torn between who I should vote off.
"Hey, Sharissa." Carson says.
"What?" replies Sharissa.
"I really don't know who I should vote out." says Carson. "I'm sorta torn."
"Well, don't vote me out, I'm right in front of you." says Sharissa.
"But I still think I can have a relationship with Amanda." says Carson.
Sharissa bursts out laughing. "SERIOUSLY?!?" she shrieks. "She hates you, dude! Time to move on!"
"Yeah, I guess." says Carson. "Maybe I should vote myself off."
"No, no, no!" says Sharissa. "We could be the awesomest final two ever! Don't do that. Just vote out Amanda. She's a bad guy. She needs to go."
Confessional (Sharissa): I'm voting out Amanda. Honestly, I believe that me and Carson could be awesome in the finals. Of course, I'd still win. Just sayin'.
Confessional (Carson): In the end, I decided to do what's right... vote for Sharissa. (pauses for a moment) Just kidding! I'm actually voting Amanda. Sharissa's pretty wise.
Confessional (Amanda): I'm gonna vote both.
At the Main Lobby, Chris says, "All right, final-three-soon-to-be-final-two. This is the last time you'll see the Main Lobby! Aren't you gonna miss it?"
"No." says Amanda.
"All right." says Chris. "Sorta expected someone would contradict me. Anyways, the first A+ goes to Sharissa."
Sharissa whispers something and gets her A+. "Final two, baby!" she shrieks.
"And finally..."
"...Carson."
Carson says, "Yeeeah, boy!" and gets his A+.
"All right, are you kidding me?" snaps Amanda. "I thought I had this whole thing in the bag!" She kicks Chris. "Which one of you idiots voted for me?"
"Both of them." says Chris.
"Fine, then!" snaps Amanda. "See ya!" She stomps away to the School Bus of Losers.
"All right... good way to get rid of an antagonist..." says Chris. "Anyways, who will win the million-buck prize? Find out next time, in our really exciting finale, where a winner will be crowned... on Total... Drama... Schooool!"