Regeneration Sensation

Regeneration Sensation is the eleventh episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the eleventh episode of season one. In this episode, Patrick begins to become tired of all of the hustle and bustle of life. So, in order to take care of all of duties, he begins to use his regeneration powers to form two of him. Therefore, he has two Patricks to handle his jellyfishing meeting and house duties. Then, Patrick needs to fill in at the local shopping mart. The clones, who pretend to be Patrick, then continue to split into more Patricks the more duties they receives. Now, the cloned Patricks, despite being genetically identical to Patrick, become influenced by environmental factors. Now this Patrick has become smart. Another one became a superstar. And now, Patrick must find a way to fix this all. But can he find that he is the real Patrick after all? This episode is paired with A Dirty Battle.
==Characters==
*Patrick Star
*Clone 1/Bill (debut)
*Clone 2/William (debut)
*Clone 3/Henry (debut)
*SpongeBob SquarePants (cameos)
*Gary the Snail (cameos)
*Boss (cameo and debut)
*CEO (debut and cameo)
*Mr. Krabs (heard over phone and mentioned)
*Johnathan (debut and cameo)
*Unknown Clone (debut and cameo at end of episode)
*Roland (debut and cameo)
*Bill Collector (debut and cameo at end of episode)
==Transcript==
*[scene starts with Patrick in his house, sweeping his floor]
*Patrick: Didn't I already sweep this part of the floor? No, I don't think so. [drops broom] Sweeping is overrated anyway. [walks to desk, covered with unpaid bills] What are these? [picks up bill; reads] Uh...three...hun...dred dollars. Pay now. [throws bill away] I think it can wait.
*[computer rings]
*Patrick: Oh, what is it now? [presses computer button]
*[computer pulls up a video chat from SpongeBob]
*SpongeBob: [wrapped in a blanket with thermometer in mouth] Hey, there, Patrick. I think you can see the problem with me.
*Patrick: Yeah, not really.
*SpongeBob: I'm [coughs] sick today. I was seeing if you could fill in for me for my afternoon shift.
*Patrick: I don't know. I am pretty busy today...but I think I can squeeze a few minutes at the Kranky Krab for you.
*SpongeBob: Actually, Patrick, it's called the...
*Patrick: [closes video chat] What a chatterbox. [looks at watch] Well, it's only seven thirty...or something around that time, and they still haven't sent me my so-called [air quotes] "bills" yet. [sits on couch and begins to chug down a soda] I guess we can relax now.
*[simultaneously, the sink breaks]
*Patrick: [sighs] What is it now? [walks into kitchen] I would call a plumber but I don't have a phone. [takes out clam-phone] All I have is this stupid dialing thinging that allows you to talk to specific people. [sighs] I guess it will have to do.
*Voice: [mumbling on other line]
*Patrick: [irritated] Yes, right now. When else would I call for it?
*Voice: [mumbling on the other line, much louder]
*Patrick: Don't you bring up that time, Roland! Just get here now! [closes clam-phone] I wish that sometimes I didn't have to deal with people like Roland! That I could do things myself and leave the anger out of things! [sits back on couch] Sometimes, I wish there were two me. But, that's never going to happen.
*[Patrick begins to sip soda, then does a spit-take out of realization]
*Patrick: Yes, I can! I'm a starfish. All I have to do is use that bud thing and make me into two Patricks. [stands up] Let's do this. [begins focusing] Focus, Patrick! Focus! You can do this! [squeezes self; gets tapped on the shoulder]
*Clone 1: Hey, Patrick. You cloned me about five seconds ago. No need to focus and all of that stuff.
*Patrick: Oh, really. Well, then, what do you want to do? [wrist watch rings] Oh no! I'm late for the jellyfishing meeting.
*Clone 1: I know. I have an idea.
*Patrick: Are you sure you're my clone?
*Clone 1: How about you go to the jelly-thing and I'll take care of your house problems.
*Patrick: You'll really do that for me? Great! Since you helped me out, I think I'll name you...Bill! [runs out door]
*Bill: Why would you name me Bill?! [walks into kitchen and looks at bills] Why are there so many bills? Why hasn't he paid any of these? Let's take a look. [looks at bill] Uh...[nervously laughs]...I...need to look at the balance.
*SpongeBob: [walks into door] Hey, Patrick.
*Bill: Actually, I'm not...
*SpongeBob: I was seeing if you could take care of Garold here? I'm don't want him around me when I'm...[sneezes on Gary]...sick.
*Gary: [angrily] Meow.
*Bill: Uh...sure. What are friends for? [grabs Gary]
*SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick. You're the best. [sneezes himself out of the door]
*Bill: Shouldn't be too much trouble to watch over one measly snail. [phone begins to ring] What? I have to fill in at the store? [angrily] No I don't! [throws phone out of door] I have to take care of a snail....or do I? [places Gary on ground] Let's do this. [splits in two]
*Clone 2: What am I doing here? Are you my father?
*Bill: If you want to create an awkward moment, yes, I am. I created you to take care of this snail [places Gary into Clone 2's arms] while I fill in at the local store. I shall call you....William.
*William: What do I do after I take care of this snail?
*Bill: You act like I have the answers to everything.
*[scene cuts to Patrick at his jellyfishing meetng]
*CEO: So, jellyfishers, what do you think we can do to keep Jellyfish Fields afloat? What do you think, Mr. Patrick?
*Patrick: [snoring; wakes up abruptly] Huh?! Who's there? Well, I think that Jellyfish Fields needs to get more jelly their diets.
*CEO: Excuse me, Mr. Star? Are you speaking about the jellyfish getting more jelly?
*Patrick: No. [stands up on table] I am talking about Jellyfish Fields. [puts finger up] I think that Jellyfish Fields needs more jelly...period. Or is it a comma? Or a colon? Either one, but we all need is to rake the grass, scrub the rocks, and what not.
*CEO: Excellent speech, Patrick Star. Let's get to it!
*[scene cuts to Bill at the supermarket, stacking cans onto shelves]
*Bill: [stacks can] This is the most boring job ever. I'd rather be taking care of Gary back at the rock.
*Boss: Oh, yeah? Well stop wishing and start working! We have lots of cans to stack today! Put some back into it, Bill! [slams box into Bill's arms]
*Bill: Something about him reminds me of Roland. [angrily] If you think you can treat me like that, then take this! [throws can at Boss] There's more where that came from! [throws entire box at Boss]
*Security Guard: [picks up Bill] You're banned forever. [throws Bill out]
*Bill: Look like they lied. Volunteer work has hurt anybody. [walks away from store]
*[scene cuts to William, attempting to take care of Gary]
*Gary: [chewing up a seat on the couch] Meow.
*William: Gary, stop chewing on Patrick's couch. [attempts to pull Gary off, only to fling himself into the wall, breaking into a water pipe] Just great. Now you've made the wall spring a leak...[camera reveals numerous breaks in the wall]...for the nineteenth time.
*Gary: Meow meow meow.
*William: No. You are going to take a nap and like it. [picks Gary up and places him in bed] Now go to sleep. I'm doing this for your own good.
*Gary: Meow meow. [falls asleep]
*William: Well, that was easier than I thought. [falls back onto chair and falls alseep as well; cell phone rings; wakes up] What? Who? [answers phone] Patrick speaking.
*Mr. Krabs: [on other line] Patrick! You're supposed to be filling in for SpongeBob today. You're thirty minutes late for work. Get down here or I'll hunt you down me self. [hangs up]
*William: Oh, just great. [splits himself into two; to Clone 3] You know what to do.
*Clone 3: Don't I get a name?
*William: Fine. I shall call you...Henry. Now get out and go to the Krusty Krab.
*Henry: Yes, father. [swims out of house] He really should fix those pipes. [continues swimming; swim turns into a run]
*[scene cuts to Bill walking down the street]
*Bill: What do I do now? No where to go. Nothing to do. [looks down; bumps into random fish] I am truly sorry, sir. I wasn't looking...
*Talent Producer: That's quite alright, sonny. You seem to be in a down mood. Well, here's something to bump up those sour feelings. [places arms around Bill] I see it now. You, dancing the limelight. You acting as a full-time actor. What do you say...?
*Bill: Oh, my name is Bi...uh...Patrick.
*Talent Producer: Well, what do you say, Patrick? How would you like to become an actor?
*Bill: A little short notice, but I accept. [shakes Talent Producer's hand]
*[scene cuts to Henry at the Krusty Krab]
*Henry: [flips patty] Three...two...one. Now! [throws patty in between two buns] Time for the condiments. [picks up ketchup bottle and sprays ketchup between the bun and patty; proceeds to do the same with the mustard] Now the lettuce, pickles, and the onions.
*Squidward: Hurry up, Patrick. [throws order tickets into kitchen]
*Henry: More orders? [throws pin through tickets, pinning them to the wall] Time to grill some meat. [throws patties onto the grill]
*[scene cuts to William, fixing pipes]
*William: [wipes sweat off head] That should do her. [steps down from ladder] Now for the sink. [sees Roland fixing the sink] Who are you?
*Roland: I am the...[grunts while turning wrench]...plumber. You called me to come and fix your faulty sink. And...that should do her.
*William: [to self; scoffs] Line stealer.
*Roland: You seem pretty good with that wrench of yours. Did you really need to call me over?
*William: I...uh...
*Roland: That's okay. [curiously] How would you like to take my job?
*William: Is that supposed to be an insult?
*Roland: What exactly is that supposed to mean?
*William: Are you saying that I lack the intellect to become something more than a plumber?
*Roland: I don't think I ever said those exact words. [angrily] Goodbye, Mr. Star. Don't think to look for my return. [slams the door on way out]
*William: What a cranky plumber. He thinks that I'm dumb just because he knows Patrick. [rips off Patrick's clothes, revealing more formal wear] I shall become a professor. [runs out door]
*[scene cuts to Patrick, walking down a sidewalk]
*Patrick: Scrubbing takes a lot of work. [wipes sweat off of head]
*Male Fish 1: [stops walking due to puddle in front of him] I was walking there, you know.
*Patrick: Yeah, I know. [continues walking] I wonder what my clone is doing now. [looks at billboard that shows "Bill" as a superstar, though using Patrick's name] Weird. I don't remembering auditioning. [looks at another billboard of "William", though using Patrick's name] It's about time my genius was recognized by the people of this town. [bumps into fish] Sorry about that.
*Bill: [dressed in rich clothing] Father? What are you doing here? I thought you were at your jellyfishing meeting.
*Patrick: That ended about...uh...I don't know. What have you been doing?
*Bill: Uh...becoming famous. [directs Patrick to the billboard again] I have successfully become the lead role in five of the most famous sitcoms in Bikini Bottom, starred in fifteen commercials advertising the most expensive products, and have had three interviews with the most-watched people in the ocean.
*Patrick: But, you're going by my name...I think. Why?
*Bill: You are my father. And besides, I disentegrate in two hours. You should live it up.
*Patrick: Well, then who is that? [points to billboard of "William"]
*Bill: [looks at same billboard] Looks like...[squints]...my clone, William. Looks like he became smart.
*Patrick: Smart. I don't think that's in my genes?
*Bill: It's not. I would know. [limo pulls up] My ride's here. [gets in limo] I'll make sure to thank you for giving me my start....literally. [limo drives off]
*Patrick: I have to fix this. [Patrick's clam-phone rings] Star here.
*SpongeBob: [sorrowfully] Should I even call you Mr. Star, job stealer?
*Patrick: What are you talking about, mysterious caller?
*SpongeBob: I'm talking about you, stealing my job. Mr. Krabs thought you did better than I did at flipping patties, and fired me. Thanks a lot. [hangs up]
*Patrick: I have to fix this...again. [runs out of scene]
*[scene cuts to William, talking to another professer while drinking tea]
*William: [intelligently laughs] Most humorous, Johnathan. Do tell about the time you thought that you miscalculated the value of pi.
*Patrick: [barges into room] There's no time for that. [picks up William] Sorry about that, John-guy, but I need to take my clone's clone back before he ruins his and my life.
*Johnathan: I may be a professor, but even I cannot wrap my mind around what is going on here?
*Patrick: Yeah, thanks bye. [runs out of room with William]
*[scene cuts to Bill at an acting set]
*Bill: [holding script] Why would you want to leave me in the room, all alone? It's not like I could find my way home.
*Patrick: [bursts into set] No time to explain. [grabs Bill] You're coming with me, Bill. [takes Bill out of room] Now, I need to get Henry.
*[scene cuts to Henry at the Krusty Krab]
*Henry: I'm ready for the night rush. [looks at watch] At least I think it's...
*Patrick: [picks up Henry] Time for you to go. That's what time it is. [runs out of Krusty Krab with Henry]
*[scene cuts to Patrick's house, where a sick SpongeBob, a rampid Gary, and now the three Patricks are waiting]
*SpongeBob: You have some explaining [coughs] to do, [points to Patrick] Patrick. Or [points to another Patrick] this Patrick? What's going on here?
*Patrick: The problem is...uh...oh yeah. I couldn't handle all of this stuff that is thrown at me. That's why I made all of these clones, well...one of them...to take care of some of it for me.
*William: While you did nothing but go to a meeting all day. I think I deserve to be the real Patrick.
*Bill: No way. It should be me.
*Henry: No. It should be me!
*Patrick: Wrong! It should be me! Or am I already me?
*[William, Bill, and Henry throw Patrick into a cage]
*Patrick: When did I buy a cage?
*SpongeBob: Let Patrick go! He didn't do anything!
*William: Make me! [dodges a charging SpongeBob] Face it, SpongeBob. You cannot defeat three Patricks. You can barely get through one.
*SpongeBob: I may not be able to, but I'm sure I can with the help of Gary.
*[Gary pushes a broom on the line under the Patricks feet, slipping them]
*SpongeBob: [takes Patrick out of cage] Prepare to be flooded. [takes a pinch of wall paint off, flooding the entire room, causing the cloned Patrick's to float into the cage] We did it!
*Patrick: There was no need for that, SpongeBob. Look.
*[camera shows the cloned Patricks to disentegrate]
*Patrick: Two hours already? Oh no! The bill collector will be here any second.
*Bill Collector: Any second indeed. I am here to collect the hopefully paid bills.
*Patrick: I...uh...they're...uh...I have a confession to make. [looks down] I have not...
*Bill Collector: ....Given me the opportunity to glance at such a great object. [picks up unfinished soda from earlier in the episode] Forget the bills! This soda right here is worth millions. Forget about the bills. You'll be paying bills no problem for decades. [runs out of house, leaving the soda on the table]
*SpongeBob: Congratulations, Patrick. What are you going to do now?
*Patrick: Beats me. [drinks down soda] I'm just going to relax the day away.
*[camera pans to reveal one unknown Patrick clone peeking into the house]
*Unknown Clone: Relax this one away. It might be the only one you get left.
*[episode ends]
Category:Absorbent Days
Category:Absorbent Days Episodes
Category:Absorbent Days Episodes: Season One
Category:Episodes
Category:Spongiest of Them All
Category:2013
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode Transcripts