Keldorn Firecam/Quotes

Keldorn Firecam's quotes presents lines spoken by Keldorn, together with the associated sound files.
The faith of Keldorn and his experience of many battles made him an exemplary paladin. Good-aligned members of the party are often glad to hear his wise advices and consider him inspiring, and even evil-aligned companions are forced to recognize his skill in battle. He is however a humble man, open to understand his companions' diverging opinions when he tries to share with them the teachings of Torm.
A true paladin must defeat evil in all circumstances, and Keldorn will thus attack most evil members of the party, nobly giving them all a chance to leave the party first. In some circumstances his virtue alone will be unbearable enough for some tormented companions to assault him.
==Dialogues==
===With Aerie===
When entering the Circus Tent :
:Aerie: Coming back here seems so strange, Keldorn. One moment it makes me happy, and... and the next it just leaves me sad all over.
:Keldorn: They say homecomings are like that.
:(If Keldorn hasn't visited his family yet:)
:Aerie: What about you? Do you have a... a place to come home to?
:Keldorn: My faith is my home and... and by the will of Torm, I take it with me where I go...
:Aerie: Torm?
:Keldorn: Aye, the servant god, always ready to sacrifice himself in duty's name. I have a family I have not been with in some time; Torm requires sacrifice from us all.
:(If Keldorn has visited his family:)
:Aerie: I... I suppose you would know, wouldn't you? I—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up that way.
:Keldorn: 'Tis a pain I live with, a truth I know. Speaking of it airs the soul.
:Aerie: Do you still love her?
:Keldorn: Aye... I always have and I always shall. That is the way of it, I guess.
:Aerie: Keldorn, do... do you have a moment?
:Keldorn: Of course I do, Aerie. What is it?
:Aerie: I... Quayle taught me to be a cleric, but—but I know so little of the world... He taught me to worship Baervan Wildwanderer, god of the gnomes...
:Keldorn: Baervan Wildwanderer: the Masked Leaf, the Forest Gnome. I have heard of him, but know little. I have dedicated my studies to the human pantheon, I fear.
:Aerie: I remember a few of the elven gods, but... oh, it was so long ago. And here I am, neither elf nor gnome nor human in my beliefs but a—a hodge-podge of them all... Am I wrong to be that way, Keldorn?
:Keldorn: Wrong? No, to some you be the ideal. You have dedicated yourself to the church in all its forms and to that purest form: your own heart.
:Aerie: My heart?
:Keldorn: We all have a tendency to divide the pantheons, to pray to deities that are easiest to appease or have the greatest impact on us and then ignore the rest...
:Keldorn: Your life has not been easy, Aerie, but it has taught you much, in its own way.
:Aerie: Oh, thank you, Keldorn... One of these days, you'll have to teach me all the things you say I've learned.
:Keldorn: Or you me, Aerie. Or you me...
===With Anomen===
:Keldorn: Young Anomen, it seems to me that you have been too long away from the fold. Perhaps this is a good time to continue your lessons.
:Anomen: I assure you, noble Keldorn, that I am well versed in the statutes and moral laws of the Order.
:Keldorn: I doubt it not. However, perhaps it is time to rememorize the virtues of chivalry and honesty.
:Anomen: I know what you're about, Keldorn. Let me worry about training, and you may worry about your own affairs.
:Keldorn: I am not "about" anything. I've no ulterior motive outside the betterment of a squire. Best you listen to the wisdom of those who have gone before you.
:Anomen: I shall take, Sir Keldorn, what path I deem appropriate. I have not bothered you, so it seems rude that you find the time to bother me.
:Keldorn: Very well. I see that you are not prepared to learn. 
:Keldorn: Squire Anomen, it is time that I had a word with you. I must say that you do not always act in a manner befitting a squire of the Order. You must learn to show deference to your leaders and elders.
:Anomen: Sir Keldorn, I thought that I made it clear the last time you brought this up: I have no need of further lessons, especially from you! I near my knighthood now.
:Keldorn: Anomen, you are a brash youth. If you learn to curb these outbursts, you shall be an excellent knight.
:You are brave and strong. Do not fool yourself into believing that your time of learning is through. All of life is a school of sorts.
:Anomen: If that is so, then there is no reason that you need to be my teacher. Life will take care of it for you.
:Keldorn: In this, you are correct; I need not be your teacher. Learn the lesson where you will, but learn it. If you do not, the future will be unlike how you envision it.
If Anomen passed his test :
:Keldorn: Your fate has arrived, Sir Anomen. You are a squire no longer, but have now become a knight. Well done, young man.
:Anomen: My thanks, Sir Keldorn. You're a fine example of honor and chivalry, and all in the Order look up to you. I feel that I must apologize for being rude to you before—the brashness of youth, as you have said.
:Keldorn: Worry not, young knight. You are well along the journey of the righteous path now. Torm has forgiven all.
If Anomen passed his test :
:Anomen: I wish to thank you, teacher... for all your help in the past. I do not think I ever said such to you before, Keldorn.
:Keldorn: Teacher, now, is it?
:Anomen: Aye, Keldorn... They say the best teachers are those with the patience to instruct the foolish... I know I have not always been the easiest of students.
:Keldorn: Nor I the wisest of instructors, but we've each done our best and found our peace in our own way.
:Anomen: I suppose that is true. Thank you... for everything.
If Anomen failed his test :
:Keldorn: Do not let your removal from the Order color your choices, Anomen. There is a lesson to be learned from this.
:Anomen: Shut up, dog! I've listened to your pompous lessons all my life, and it's gotten me nowhere. Self-righteous preacher!
:You've never known a day of hardship in your life, and yet you think that you know all! To the Hells with you, Keldorn!
:Keldorn: Already it begins. Anomen, I am on your side. I wish to be your friend and help you to turn your life around. Do not refuse aid in your hour of need.
:Anomen: There is nothing wrong with my life that hasn't been caused by your ilk! I should kill you for treating me like a child.
:Keldorn: In time, you will see, boy, that you act like a child.
:Anomen: Your words hold no meaning to me. Save them, ere I take mind to shove them back down your throat.
If Anomen failed his test :
:Keldorn: Anomen, please remain calm; what I say I say for your benefit. You are turning away from your god, Helm, and slipping down the path of evil. I cannot let you do this. Put aside your bitterness, Anomen, and talk to me.
:Anomen: Oh, you are pathetic, Keldorn. You are a hypocrite and a liar! You care nothing for me, only for your honor. Why should I believe anything you say? I'd spit in your face, but you aren't worth even that!
:Keldorn: You approach a line that you do not want to cross, Anomen. Step back before it's too late.
:Anomen: The line was crossed when your cursed Order dumped me like useless garbage. Stand and fight, maggot! I've been pushed too far!
:Keldorn: Don't do this, Anomen.
:Anomen: Die, you bastard! *attacks Keldorn*
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Anomen: Sir Keldorn, as an initiate of the Order, I heard many a story of your prowess and courage. At one point, Sir Cassius made reference to your heroism on the Giant's Plain. He stopped abruptly and, with a dark look, would say no more. What happened there?
:Keldorn: Heroism, he said? Cassius gives me more credit than I deserve. The days on the Giant's Plain were dark days and the deeds performed, darker still.
:We were captured by Grinning Rath in an ambush after being betrayed by Sir Taerga. Rath and his band caught us in a strand of deadfall as we picked our way through, leading our horses. The archers made short work of our horses and nearly half my men. Stumbling about in the deadfall in full plate, we had no chance.
:Rath stripped us naked, dead or living. I had an arrow through my shoulder. His ogres were kind enough to tear it out along with a great chunk of flesh before the Dance. It pains me still.
:Anomen: The Dance?
:Keldorn: The Dance was Grinning Rath's signature. Each living knight was bound to a dead companion, head to head, hand to hand and foot to foot. He dragged us to the open plain and tied us thus so that we could not move save dancing with the dead. We lay there 'neath the blazing sun and, as our friends began to rot, my men began to die of exposure.
:I managed to grind through the bonds on one wrist using stone that stuck from the ground. I saved those that could be saved, Cassius included. Some of the men had died during the Dance; some had lost their wits as the flesh of their friends melted in the sun.
:I tracked Rath, snuck into his camp, and killed him and all who participated in the atrocity.
:There was no heroism, Anomen, only slow brutal death and grim deeds. We shall speak no more of this.
===With Cernd===
When in Suldanessellar :
:Cernd: Ah, fair Talltrees. Look at this city, Keldorn, and learn. No bricks or mortar, no temples of cut and polished marble. If only Athkatla could be like this, I would not despise it so.
:Keldorn: If Athkatla were like this, we would swing from the trees by our tails and have barely enough wit to lash a stone onto a fallen branch that it might be called a hammer. Nay, Cernd, I want not the lowly barbarism you espouse.
:Cernd: But don't you see? What you call civilization is a cancer, expanding like a fungus on a corpse. It is a world out of balance, and it can result only in decay.
:But what you call barbarism is, in truth, a harmony. Man with beast and with plant and with the earth that bears them all. There need be no discrepancy.
:Keldorn: The very gods granted us dominion here, and Ao placed the races that they might flourish and be fruitful. It is a destiny made manifest, druid.
:Civilization is a right, a privilege, and a duty. Only through it and through faith can we can transcend the brutal savagery of our past.
:Cernd: Well, you have proven one point, at least. 
:Keldorn: What is that?
:Cernd: That there is nothing more aggravating than arguing with a theologian.
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Keldorn: Cernd, I would like to ask you a question if I may. You strike me as a good man. Yet you refuse to follow the rules of Law... I find this paradox quite vexing.
:Cernd: Beauty and nature are not bound by rigid laws, my stalwart friend. You see chaos and confusion as your enemy, but they are part of the natural order. You must learn to embrace them as you have embraced law. 
:Keldorn: You will not convert me to your wild woodland ways, Cernd. Though often difficult, the path of law and order is the path of true virtue.
:Cernd: By refusing to acknowledge the necessity of a balance between law and chaos, you only make your life more difficult, Keldorn. What a ridiculous, impractical belief system you cling to!
:Keldorn: Are you mocking my values? You dare scorn everything I hold dear and everything I stand for? Do not be such an ass, Cernd.
:Cernd: Err... are paladins even allowed to say "ass"?
:Keldorn: My code of honor dictates my actions, Cernd. It does not dictate my speech. But I will waste no more words on you—not even the word "ass." 
:Cernd: Forgive me, Keldorn. I only asked because as a druid, I am restricted in certain uses of the word "tomato"... I thought perhaps you were under a similar sort of prohibition.
:Keldorn: What? Why would you be prevented from speaking of some vegetable?
:Cernd: Well, you see, there you've gone and hit on the crux of it. A tomato is a fruit, after all.
:Keldorn: That's ridiculous.
:Cernd: Perhaps. But one must be sensitive to even those of the vegetative or fruity persuasion amongst us, my dear paladin.
:Keldorn: Enough. I said I would speak no more to you, druid, and now I am doubly determined to.
:(if Valygar is in the party:)
:Cernd: As you wish. I had no idea fruits would be such an issue for you. Perhaps this would be a discussion better suited for Valygar.
:Valygar: Back off, druid. I'm not in the mood for your insinuations today.
:Cernd: My, my. Everyone is very sensitive today.
:(if Valygar is not in the party:)
:Cernd: As you wish. I had no idea fruits would be such an issue for you.
===With Edwin===
:Edwin: So, Keldorn, as a disciple of a crooked deity, do you find solace in the same secret histories, books of lies, and subversions that the rest of the miserable sheep in your horde do?
:Keldorn: Wizard, you've only a brief respite before I put your head in a bag and your body in the ground!
:Edwin: Let cooler heads prevail, Keldorn. I was only baiting hooks.
:Keldorn: Judgment will be swift and pure upon thee, Edwin. Your manner says that the cruel are weak, and that kindness is to be expected only from the strong and just.
:Edwin: Whatever lets you sleep, paladin. (I'll dine on your eyes, cloistered coward... soon.)
If Keldorn stands less than 3 units away from Edwin :
:Edwin: Back away, you obsequious fool!
:Keldorn: What is the concern, wizard? I have done nothing to aggravate you.
:Edwin: I shall not wait for you to stab me with your righteous daggers, knight! I have no wish to suffer your poisons! (Insolent and dirty, insolent and dirty.)
:Keldorn: Whatever poison there be here is in your head, Edwin! By the gods, I should club you to put you out of your misery!
:Edwin: I'll show ye some misery, knight! *attacks Keldorn*
===With Haer'Dalis===
:Haer'Dalis: Keldorn, my faithful hound... how is it that you came to be a paladin, anyhow?
:Keldorn: I must say, it was only practical. My mother was of noble birth and my father a ranking cleric. I might have followed in his pages, but it lacked the appeal of holy warrior.
:Haer'Dalis: Ah, the old codger's tale be true, then: "What is bred in the bone shall out in the flesh."
:You charge ahead, of valor born, the best of your parental blood commingled here within you, their very destinies made true by your every righteous act!
:Alas, where be an inkwell and some papyrus when I need it?
:Keldorn: Ho, Haer'Dalis, your poetry ennobles me far beyond my worth. I am a simple man, and by simple decisions, I have made my way about this earth.
:If you wouldst write of me, write of me as I would wish to be remembered.
:Haer'Dalis: Aye, but then where would go the poetry, good knight? Heh... but come, <CHARNAME> seems impatient with our chatter. Let us put it off, then.
:Keldorn: I must say, ye bard, that I find the use of your musical abilities during combat to be most effective. Play on, I say!
:Haer'Dalis: Aye, and ye can stride into the forefront, ye hound. I'll just hang around in the back awhile, truly enough.
:Keldorn: I hardly thought I'd see you timid, Haer'Dalis.
:Haer'Dalis: More bored than timid, Lord Keldorn. With your blade a'glittering in the sun like that, you leave few foes for me to challenge.
:Keldorn: Nay, good man, they flee not from the brightness of my sword but from the sheer wretchedness of your playing!
:Haer'Dalis: Ha! 'Twill be music to my ears to wrap this lute about your head someday, my aging hound. Now go out there with your blade once again and make yourself useful, aye?
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Haer'Dalis: My great and noble hound, I sense your spirit is heavy. What troubles the mighty paladin?
:Keldorn: Your observation is most astute, my good bard. I am indeed troubled by our current course.
:Haer'Dalis: But shall your shining example not guide us down the proper path, Sir Keldorn? 
:Keldorn: I am not the leader of this group... though even if I were, I do not know if it would make a difference. No matter what path <CHARNAME> chooses, I fear it will be a journey awash in blood.
:Haer'Dalis: Aye, we are but mere players in this tragedy, reading our lines from a grim and heavy script. Though I myself still hold out hope for a happy ending.
:Keldorn: As do I. But life does not always imitate art, and I fear this may be one of those times. Speak of this no further... I do not want to upset the others.
===With Hexxat===
:Keldorn: A vampire, <CHARNAME>? Truly? Is this what we've come to?
:Hexxat: I am disappointed, Master Firecam. I thought you a more chivalrous spirit.
:Keldorn: You'd see another man completely, were you human.
:Hexxat: But, through no desire of my own, I am not.
:Keldorn: You are an aberration. An abomination that must be destroyed.
::1. Player: Hexxat is a friend, Keldorn.
::Keldorn: If this is a friend, then you are a fool. A damned fool.
::Hexxat: You are too quick to judge me, paladin. Give me time. I'll prove my worth.
::Keldorn: I KNOW your worth, monster.
::Hexxat: Your close-mindedness blinds you to a valuable ally. A pity. I thought better of you, Firecam.
::Keldorn: I care not what a vampire thinks of me.
::Hexxat: You talk to him, <CHARNAME>. I can see there's nothing I can say to change his mind.
:::1. Player: I'm afraid he's right, Hexxat. I know you mean me no harm, but your very nature poses a grave threat to me and mine. You should go.
:::Hexxat: A mistake. One you'll come to regret, I promise you.
:::But if it is your wish, very well. I shall go. *leaves party*
:::Keldorn: Letting her go was a mistake, <CHARNAME>.
::::1. Player: I thought you wanted her gone.
::::Keldorn: Without you to hold her back, who knows what she will do? You should have destroyed her when you had the opportunity.
:::::1. Player: You would have me murder someone who's done nothing against me?
:::::Keldorn: You cannot murder that which does not live. Whatever pain she causes now, it's on your head.
:::::2. Player: Well, it's too late now. Where were you thirty seconds ago? *ends conversation*
:::::3. Player: Be silent, paladin, or I'll take this opportunity to destroy you.
:::::Keldorn: (if the player has more than 15 in Charisma and Strength) Her crimes are on your head now, <CHARNAME>. I hope you can live with it.
:::::Keldorn: (if the player has 15 or less Charisma and Strength) I'd hate for you to miss your chance, <CHARNAME>. Have at you! *attacks the player*
::::2. Player: I could call her back.
::::Keldorn: You misunderstand me. I do not want her as an ally. I want her wiped from the face of the realms.
::::Without you to hold her back (...)
::::3. Player: You're right. I should have let you go instead. But what's done is done.
::::Keldorn: Without you to hold her back (...)
:::2. Player: Yes. I believe he sees intractability as a noble quality.
:::Keldorn: There is no sin in it if your cause is righteous.
::::1. Player: Your close-mindedness will be the death of you, Keldorn. But it'll not be the death of me. Leave us.
::::Keldorn: You choose this vampire's company over mine? So be it.
::::But know this: The crimes she will doubtless commit are on your head, <CHARNAME>.
::::Farewell. *leaves party*
::::2. Player: Your version of righteousness and mine bear little resemblance to one another, I fear. But you are right. We are better off without Hexxat.
::::Hexxat: You would have me leave?
::::A mistake (...)
::::3. Player: If your cause is righteous, then you have no choice but to strike her down.
::::Hexxat: Come now. We are civilized people here. We can—
::::Keldorn: Back to the Hell from whence you came, demon! *attacks Hexxat*
:::3. Player: There's clearly but one way to resolve this. I think it's time for a fight to the death.
:::Hexxat: Come now (...)
::2. Player: I would not see you destroyed, Hexxat.
::Hexxat: I am very glad to hear it.
:::1. Player: But Keldorn is right. I cannot risk allowing a vampire in our midst.
:::Hexxat: You would have me leave? (...)
:::2. Player: If you will not accept Hexxat as one of our number, Keldorn, then you will have to leave.
:::Keldorn: You choose this vampire's company over mine? (...)
:::3. Player: But I'll not stand in Keldorn's way. It's apparent the two of you cannot coexist. I see only one way to resolve the issue.
:::Hexxat: Your perspective is too limited, <CHARNAME>. I see a multitude of options—
:::Keldorn: Back to the Hell from whence you came (...)
::3. Player: If that's the way you feel, then do what you must.
::Hexxat: Come now (...)
Throne of Bhaal only, at dusk or during night :
:Keldorn: Your arm is covered in blisters, vampire. A little slow on the uptake yesterday morning?
:Hexxat: It's nothing.
:Keldorn: It hardly looks like nothing. I'm just sorry you weren't a little slower, to save me the trouble of dealing with you when this is done.
:Hexxat: Your concern is touching, paladin.
:Keldorn: My concern is for my friends and my god. You are an affront to everything I hold dear.
:Hexxat: If there were anything I could do to change that, I would. I'm afraid it's out of my hands.
:Keldorn: Your hands, perhaps. But not mine. Make peace with your fate, dead woman.
:Hexxat: I'll go do that... over there, if it's all the same to you.
===With Imoen===
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Keldorn: Imoen! What— Are you pawing at me yet again? Do you think I do not notice? You are attempting to pickpocket me, aren't you?!
:Imoen: Oh! Well... no, I... I just thought... uh...
:Keldorn: Just what? Out with it, girl. I won't have a party member stealing from me.
:Imoen: No, no, that's not it! I... I was just... I was just trying to find out if you're as muscular under your armor as you look.
:Keldorn: Eh? What's this?
:Imoen: Oh, I know that you're married and all that, Keldorn... but do you have *any* idea how good you look? I... I can't help myself, I just want to touch you all the time!
:Keldorn: Imoen! I... I have a daughter that is the same age as you!
:Imoen: I don't know what it is, Keldorn... maybe it's the Bhaal essence in me. I just want to run my fingers through your hair and nibble on your ears! Oh, Keldorn, you drive me so wild!
:Keldorn: By Torm, no! This is terrible! I... I had no idea I had this effect on you...
:Imoen: Oh, get over yourself already, Keldorn! Sheesh. *giggle* Here's your ring back. I won't take it again, I promise.
===With Jaheira===
If Jaheira has less than 15% HP :
:Jaheira: Mm. My injuries mount, and I will need treatment soon. But it is all worth it, for our battles have dispatched many ne'er-do-wells to the nether planes. No quarter ever given or deserved, right, Paladin Keldorn?
:Keldorn: Am I to judge by your tone that you are sympathetic to our enemies?
:Jaheira: Not in the least, although I do entertain the thought that they might not all be irredeemable.
:Keldorn: In theory, perhaps, though I see no hesitation on your part while in battle either. Do you claim to chastise me while doing the same yourself?
:Jaheira: Not within battle, no, but I gather your black-and-white views extend well beyond that. There is gray as well.
:Keldorn: Gray? Gray is not a color; it is the blurring of another. Gray is indecision, and I have no time for it.
When in the Galvarey Estate :
:Keldorn: So this is home to your mysterious Harpers, is it?
:Jaheira: Less and less mysterious with every day of your scrutiny, Lord Keldorn. Had I my choice, I would rather none but me were here at all.
:Keldorn: Then I thank the gods you do not have your choice more often. Your opinions run often towards the brash, my dear.
:Jaheira: I am Harper, Keldorn, I am discreet when I wish. I just find other methods to be... more effective. Now, may I suggest you keep your next thoughts to yourself?
:Keldorn: Ah... yes... aye, m'lady.
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Jaheira: Keldorn? You look pensive. Are you well?
:Keldorn: I am well enough, Jaheira, though our circumstance gives me reason to pause.
:Jaheira: Hmm. I have been thinking as well. It is hard to draw a line in the sand and say, "This side represents balance; this other side does not."
:Keldorn: Balance? Would that balance were the worst of our worries.
:Jaheira: Ah. Having trouble with the black and white aspects?
:Keldorn: That would be an understatement. I am quite certain of what evil lies ahead, but I am finding problems with identifying the "good" path around it.
:Jaheira: I'm not sure what to say. We do what we can when the opportunity presents itself.
:Keldorn: That would be all that can be asked. Torm guide us; we need his wisdom.
===With Jan===
:Keldorn: One must maintain constant discipline and remember the four principles of virtue... that is my motto and everlasting burden.
:Jan: Virtue, eh, knighty?
:Keldorn: Indeed, little one. 'Tis not virtuous to refer to me as "knighty."
:Jan: Another human with his shorts in a knot. But I digress. Anyway, Keldy, my mother wrote a book on virtue.
:Keldorn: Did she?
:Jan: Oh, yes. A book on the virtues of erotic love. "Sins of the Flesh Golem," it was called. Excellent sales in the paladin's spouse market.
:Keldorn: A wholly inappropriate jest, Jan. You should be ashamed.
:Jan: It is no jest. I'll send you a copy, if your wife does not already have one.
:Keldorn: Never speak of my wife, gnome. Your lack of respect is appalling. 
:Jan: Ah, now I see. One of THOSE.
:Keldorn: It is not your place to judge my affairs. You must learn to respect your leaders.
:Jan: I do respect my leaders. This has nothing to do with them. This reminds me of the chapter where the paladin first makes passionate love to the flesh golem. What a beautiful scene...
:Keldorn: Begone, gnome, lest my honor demand I perform acts that you shall regret.
:Jan: Fleshy, honey," the paladin said. "Yes, baby?" said the golem...
If Jan dies and is revived :
:Jan: Greetings, everyone. Sorry, no gifts or souvenirs this time, but I'll keep you all in mind the next time I'm gone. Oh, Keldorn: The gods say "hi" and that you should wash your underwear more thoroughly. Everyone ready? Let's go adventuring.
:Keldorn: Master Jansen, are you so absolutely incapable of acknowledging the seriousness of our situation?! 
:Jan: Acknowledged and accounted for—as serious as a turnip blight in winter. Nasty rotten thing, that is... Keldorn, have you ever considered renting out your services as a turnip healer? You would be more than popular, I assure you.
:Keldorn: The abilities granted me by my faith are not for sale, especially not for something as foolish and as—as vegetal as a—a turnip!
:Jan: You remind me of a top my great-uncle on my father's side made for me as a child. You just wound it up and let it go—it was as if it had an "auto-wobble" setting or some such thing. So, are we ready for adventuring, everybody?
:Keldorn: Oh, never mind. I'll stand elsewhere, gnome, lest your constant talk put me to sleep.
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Jan: So, Keldorn, while we're on the subject of adult diapers, ah, you're getting on in years, aren't you?
:Keldorn: What in the blazes are you about, Jan? We were on no such topic!
:Jan: Well, it's just that as Uncle Stinky was nearing your age, he was prone to a terrible diaper rash. I thought you too might be suffering in noble knightish silence. No man should face diaper rash alone.
:Keldorn: "Uncle Stinky"? *sigh* He was called this because of the diapers, I suppose?
:Jan: No, 'twas the fish heads that earned him that moniker. Real name is Rooctal or Slooble or something. I can't recall. Why, as Pappy used to say, "If you can't join 'em, take your boot and—"
:Keldorn: (Gods!) <CHARNAME>, do I strike you as a stupid man?
::1. Player: Why do you ask?
::Keldorn: I continue to be conversationally pummeled by the gnome.
::He's still talking, isn't he?
::Player: Yes.
::Jan: ...which is really the reason I had the donkey to begin with. Good luck with the rash!
::2. Player: Well, you did walk into that one. You should have ignored him.
::Keldorn: He's still talking, isn't he? (...)
===With Korgan===
:Keldorn: Well, I can't say I appreciate Korgan's company or the crudeness of his tongue. But by the gods, one can't deny his prowess!
::1. Player: Do you mean to say that even evil has its place and use, Lord Keldorn?
::Keldorn: It scares me to ponder the implications of such a thought but... yes, <CHARNAME>, that maybe so. But I do not like how easily it rolls off of the tongue.
::2. Player: Do not be so awed that you would leave your post and make us vulnerable to renewed assault, Keldorn.
::Keldorn: Yes, m'<LADY/LORD>, accept my apologies for the indiscretion.
::3. Player: It seems we live and die by it a little more each day.
::Keldorn: Aye, and I like not the dependence that he cultivates from it, m'<LADY/LORD>...
:Korgan: Fer a muddled longlimb, Keldorn, ye doth wield a clever blade indeed.
:Keldorn: As do you, Korgan. But alas, blades be far too lengthy for the vertically challenged, I hazard a guess.
:Korgan: I need no narrow stick of steel to rend a foe asunder. I prefer the axe to split the difference. Allies, aye, fallen too, if need be.
:Keldorn: Your axe has claimed a few close to you, we know. I'd not put a revisit to the same impulse past you.
:Korgan: It's nae brutal, only reasonable force. Ye pick yer battles big enough to matter and small enough to win. They all had it comin'. All of 'em.
:Keldorn: We all do, Korgan. Our lord makes this world a vale of tears and sorrow. And, alas, few are saved. Infinitely more are damned.
===With Mazzy===
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Keldorn: Mazzy, my girl, you are a halfling of most extraordinary courage! I am proud to serve beside you!
:Mazzy: Sir Keldorn, I have idolized you since I was a girl! You don't know how much it means to hear you say that!
:Keldorn: You are too kind, but thank me not. You deserve all praise. You have earned it!
===With Minsc===
When Minsc's berserk state ends :
:Minsc: All will fall before the might of Minsc and Boo! Evil all about! All will... FAAARRRRGHHH!
:Keldorn: Minsc! Stand down and calm yourself! 
:Minsc: I will fight! Minsc fights and evil falls!
:Keldorn: And you have fought well and true as a warrior should, but the battle is won! Minsc, let the fury pass.
:Minsc: I will... I... Keldorn? 
:Keldorn: Well fought, Minsc. Your righteous fury is a sight to see, but do not let it consume you.
When Minsc's berserk state ends :
:Minsc: RRRAAAAGH! KILL, SAYS BOO! KILL, DOES MINSC!
:Keldorn: Let it pass, Minsc! The fight is won, and we have survived. Do not let your rage defeat you!
:Minsc: Raaagh! Ra... Minsc... Minsc is... better now. Boo calms as we speak. Thank you, paladin.
:Keldorn: The righteous must sometimes descend to the methods of the brutal, but do not let it destroy you from within. Fight when you must, but let it end when done.
:Minsc: Minsc is calm. Boo is calm. You are wise in your words and bear your weapon well. Would that you could hear Boo's praise, for my own words do not suffice. *calms himself*
When Minsc's berserk state ends :
:Minsc: Who wants a piece of Minsc? Who?! Evil will die here! Enemies everywhere!
:Keldorn: Calm your fury, Minsc! The battle is over! Let your friends tend to you! 
:Minsc: Friends... my friends...
:Keldorn: There now, with enemies gone it is time for reflection. Those of evil intent will fear you when the time comes; no need to posture for those that already know.
:Minsc: Minsc calms... you are right... Thank you, Keldorn. You are... an inspiration to me.
:Keldorn: Lead by example, for the individual knows what is right and true.
If Keldorn has less than 20% HP :
:Minsc: You bear the wounds of battle well, Keldorn. A warrior of your ability would be well respected in my home of Rashemen.
:Keldorn: I take no pride in my wounds, only in the battle won. That I have the opportunity to sacrifice my body for right, that does not mean I wish to.
:The best example is of good remaining strong in the defeat of evil. I will give my wounds no acknowledgment.
:Minsc: This, Boo, this is a hero of legend! Minsc is honored to fight at your side, Keldorn!
:Keldorn: Do not take honor in fighting with my presence. Take honor in that you fight for good, for that is my source of strength. 
If Minsc has less than 15% HP :
:Minsc: Yet more scars that show Minsc's prowess in battle! All great warriors wear such marks. Keldorn, you must have a great many scars that are your medals of combat! Do you wear them proudly, as Minsc does?
:Keldorn: My battles won unscathed are my greatest pride. When I have served the cause of righteousness without a mark to prove my deeds, I know I am acting for the greater good... and not just my own foolish ego.
:Minsc: I did not think of it that way, though scars are my proof that I will fight evil to the last. It places fear in the hearts of the enemy. 
:Keldorn: Evil mustn't know where opposition can come from, only that it will. If a villain doubts my intent, then he is at a disadvantage when I take up arms against him.
:Minsc: I can respect that, though I would rather my enemies know I am coming and that there is little they can do. 
If Minsc has less than 20% HP :
:Minsc: Umph! Boo! Where are you, Boo? Let the good knight know that I have hit my head!
:Keldorn: Aid is on its way, Minsc. Stand firm!
:Minsc: No, Boo. The knight, I said... not all these pesky birdies...
:Keldorn: Oh, ye gods, shelter this loving madman while ye may...
:Minsc: Minsc doesn't get mad, Minsc gets eve... no, wait, Minsc gets mad...
If Keldorn dies :
:Minsc: No! For such a warrior to fall here is an abomination! And I do not even know the word! All will feel my boot to head for this!
If Keldorn is resurrected :
:Minsc: Oh, your legacy did not die! You are with us again! Oh, Boo is positively vibrating with happiness! Minsc will not let such evil claim you again! 
:Keldorn: There is no sorrow if I fall in battle. I am glad to be alive, but if my sacrifice inspires others, then it is worth my passing. I have no doubt that your rage over a lost friend inspires you onward, does it not?
:Minsc: I do not like to think of those I have lost as gone. I may not speak of them much, but they are in each swing of my sword as I avenge them!
:Keldorn: As it should be. If I can contribute to that, then all is not lost when I am.
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Minsc: Keldorn, yet again Boo and I are in awe with how deeply you plant the bootprint of justice on the villainous buttocks we encounter so often! Heh!
:Keldorn: And as always, Minsc, you have fought with the righteous strength of many knights!
:Minsc: And hamsters! Let us not forget Boo and his furry fury.
===With Nalia===
In the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart building :
:Nalia: So *this* is the guild house of the infamous Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart, is it?
:Keldorn: Infamous? Miss Nalia, we servants of the Radiant Heart pride ourselves on bringing a little good into this dark world.
:Only the brightest, most upstanding knights of all the Holy Orders are granted the privilege of membership.
:Nalia: Such as yourself, Keldorn?
:Keldorn: Humbly, ma'am, yes.
:Nalia: And the Order pays for your estate?
:Keldorn: My lady Nalia, understand this: Any soul of any social rank may join the Holy Orders and therein be judged by the purity of their heart, male or female.
:...unlike some who take it upon themselves to criticize, we were not born into wealth and luxury.
:Nalia: And yet these halls and all your sacred vows are reserved only for us humans... Believe what lies you wish, Keldorn, but it shan't make them any truer.
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Nalia: Keldorn, tell me—you've served in the Order for a very long time. Do you still truly believe that what they do is relevant? That it's worthwhile?
:Keldorn: Of course I believe that is the case. I could not serve if I lacked the faith that that was so. Why do you ask such a thing?
:Nalia: It... just seems so pointless to me. I don't mean to offend, but it seems no matter how much evil gets vanquished, there is still so much horror in the world. It doesn't get better.
:Keldorn: Aye. Sometimes it is enough to make the soul weary, child, just to think of it.
:Nalia: And some of the worst acts are committed by those people who aren't even considered evil. Nobles and clergy, for instance... gross injustices against people who don't even know any better.
:Keldorn: True. The Order can only do what it can, Nalia. We try. And perhaps the fact that we try and do not give up is just as important as the good we do accomplish.
:Nalia: I... I suppose. It just seems hopeless sometimes. Like nothing will ever change.
:Keldorn: 'Tis only the impatience of youth, Nalia. Things will change in time. But only if truly good folk such as yourself do not despair and give up completely. The world needs your courage.
:Nalia: Th-thank you, Keldorn. I think I needed to hear that.
===With Neera===
:Keldorn: I walk with <CHARNAME> because I feel it is my duty to do so, Neera. You might say that my faith in Torm has guided me into <HIS/HER> company. Why do you follow <HIM/HER>? If your concern is protecting your wild mage brothers and sisters, do you believe this is truly your path?
:Neera: Enough with the heavy stuff, Keldorn! I'm just trying to make it from day to day and hold myself together, and now you want me to worry about my path?! What does that even mean, anyway? Isn't my "path" the one I'm on?
:Keldorn: In a manner of speaking, it is. But for many, there are two paths: the one you are on, and the one you should be on.
:Neera: You think I should be somewhere else. I get it. My magic makes you uneasy.
:Keldorn: No, not at all. I don't understand it, and I understand you even less, but it would trouble me greatly if you were to leave.
:Neera: Awww, Keldorn! That is sweet. Really, really sweet. Especially that part about not understanding me.
:Keldorn: Ha! That is what I mean. When you speak thus, you remind me of my eldest daughter. I would miss that acerbic tongue of yours!
:Neera: You'd miss my tongue? Ewww.
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Keldorn: See where our paths have led us, Neera? <CHARNAME> walks before us. Soon <HE/SHE> will achieve <HIS/HER> destiny. Do you still feel this path you walk is your own?
:Neera: Of course! How could it not be?! I walk it, so it's my path. Even if <CHARNAME> DOES get all the attention.
:Keldorn: Then you have no regrets.
:Neera: I'm sure I do, somewhere. I try not to keep track of them, though. What about you? A little anxious, I take it?
:Keldorn: I am not certain, and uncertainty is not something I am fond of. I think my being here is inevitable, but I am not sure it is... desirable. Much depends on our quest's outcome, but I know, deep in my heart, that the outcome is beyond my power to change.
:Neera: Inevitabilities and outcomes! No offense, Keldorn, but I'm happy not to be as worried as you. I'm a little worried, maybe. About some things. But they're not keeping me up at night. Mostly.
:Keldorn: I envy you.
:Neera: Everything is a whirl of who-knows, but I'm certain about one thing.
:Keldorn: And what is your anchor in this "whirl of who-knows," as you put it?
:Neera: Have you even been listening? That the path I'm on is my own. That's all I really need.
===With Rasaad===
:Keldorn: You fight well, monk.
:Rasaad: You are surprised by this?
:Keldorn: A little. Selûne is not a particularly martial goddess, as I recall.
:Rasaad: Some sects are more—disciplined than others. My own is—was part of the Sun Soul order. The Sun Soul philosophy has as much to do with my abilities as the goddess.
:Keldorn: But you have turned against the order.
:Rasaad: Not the order. My sect. I may no longer walk in Selûne's grace, but I still try to live by the Precepts of Incandescence. I will always strive to find physical perfection and spiritual virtue, as well as to shine light into darkness.
:Keldorn: There are better ways to deal with the darkness.
:Rasaad: More efficient ways, perhaps. Better? That is a matter of perspective.
===With Sarevok===
If Sarevok is still evil : 
:Keldorn: I doubt you'll care much for anything I have to say, Sarevok... but have you considered this new life of yours to be a second chance of sorts?
:Sarevok: You are right, paladin. I care not a whit for anything you have to say.
:Keldorn: Spit your bile in my direction if you must, but consider that it was your own machinations which caused your first death. Fail to learn from that, and you will die again with as little meaning.
:Sarevok: Death has no meaning, fool. It was simple chance, not judgment by any god. I could just as easily have been victorious in another circumstance.
:Keldorn: Then you learned nothing in death? What a short, precious thing life is? The ultimate uselessness of grasping for things like wealth and power? How did they serve you in the Abyss, Sarevok?
:Sarevok: My will and my desire served me well in the Abyss. Nothing else.
:Keldorn: I have known many good, honest men with a powerful will. And I know they will not be in the Abyss when they perish.
:Sarevok: I... could care less if I return to the Abyss or not, old fool. Once I am dead, I am dead and nothing matters.
:Keldorn: I am old, but I am no fool. I don't believe you really believe that.
:Sarevok: I... begone, old man. Make your pious speeches for those who may still be redeemed. It is far too late for me.
===With Valygar===
:Keldorn: I must say, Valygar, that I have watched you fight and have found you to be a most extraordinary warrior. How is it that you have not pursued something more important with your life?
:Valygar: More important? What do you mean?
:Keldorn: More important... such as joining one of the Royal Orders. Or perhaps earning a career in the military. Serving your lord or your god, as it were.
:Valygar: I was in the army once as a scout. It wasn't for me.
:Keldorn: What about serving your god, then?
:Valygar: But I have no god, paladin. Whom would I serve?
:Keldorn: You have no god?! Do you speak truly? How could one live such a life devoid of faith?
:Valygar: I live it according to my heart. I defend the natural against the unnatural, and that is important enough for me.
:Keldorn: Well spoken, Valygar. You're a good man, if godless. I meant no offense.
:Valygar: None taken, Keldorn. Were that all people were of as true of purpose as yourself.
Before Lavok's death :
:Valygar: You're a man of the church, Keldorn. How can you stay so calm amidst such a constant display of magic in this group? I feel most unsettled at the sight of it.
:Keldorn: Hm... I know it has not been the case in your experience, but not all magic is there to serve the darker gods or circumvent the good.
:Valygar: I find it hard to believe that anything tainted with the scent of lichdom or Lavok's necromancy can lead to anything good.
:Keldorn: But don't we extend life and even return the dead to living with faithful incantations? Magic, god-borne or otherwise, is a tool. The user alone must be judged.
After Lavok's death :
:Keldorn: I understand congratulations are due to you, Valygar.
:Valygar: Congratulations? What for?
:Keldorn: You have fulfilled your family's oath. A vow lived up to is a rare thing, my friend. Even rarer a vow that stretches back five hundred years.
:Valygar: Yes, I see. My family's vow to kill Lavok. It... does not feel as I think it should.
:Keldorn: How so? Your family would be proud of you.
:Valygar: Would they? I doubt most of my family even remembered the oath. And I am sure none of them knew Lavok.
:Keldorn: It hardly matters, I think. The necromancer was evil, and even if he regretted his evil in the end, he still had to accept penance.
:Valygar: I am not so sure, Keldorn. What disturbs me is my readiness to believe him as some kind of absolute evil. Things are not quite so black and white, I think.
:Keldorn: Perhaps you are right, Valygar.
Throne of Bhaal only :
:Keldorn: Valygar, I have no wish to offend you, but I can remain silent no longer. You are a great warrior and a true defender of what is moral and right...
:Valygar: Why should that offend me, Keldorn?
:Keldorn: I think you jest, Valygar... though with you I am never sure. Of course those words will not give offense. But these may: I have once again been pondering your atheistic beliefs.
:Valygar: Keldorn, do not waste your breath trying to convert this heathen. I respect what you stand for, but I have no need of a god to serve... even one as worthy as Helm.
:Keldorn: So you say, but your actions say otherwise. You defend righteousness and justice as nobly as any knight of the Order. Perhaps you serve the will of Helm despite your protests to the contrary.
:Valygar: I will take your words as a compliment, Keldorn... and not as a high-handed condemnation of my own beliefs. If you find comfort believing I unwittingly serve Helm, I shall not object.
:Keldorn: And since you take comfort denying you serve—though your actions say otherwise—I shall no longer let it bother me, friend Valygar. I am glad we had this discussion.
:Valygar: As am I, Keldorn. As am I.
===With Viconia===
:Viconia: My mistress of the Gray Wastes is not deserving of her reputation. There are no hatreds too petty, Keldorn, as to compel forgiveness. And as I'm certain you're well aware, all pains are hidden.
:The mandate of your loyal order is deception and ruse, so misery is just another disguise for your gang of holy thugs' agenda is my guess. Yes?
:Keldorn: Shar is a perverse travesty, drow! Her cult is seething with evil and bitter yield. She's a coven for the morose and pathetic.
:Add another slight to the Order and you'll not reckon her secrets in the world of the living. Do you understand me, witch? Not a word in my direction. EVER.
:Viconia: Stay your hostility, paladin. I seek no conflict with you or your order. I've witnessed your sargh and streeaka firsthand. My humblest apologies, suliss.
:Keldorn: I urge you to reconsider the sheltering of this drow! However desperate be our mission, we make it worse by sheltering a demon such as her!
:Viconia: Ha! Do you have a problem with my presence, male?
:Keldorn: Aye, I do, drow. And if you last another day within this party, I shall do us all a favor and spit you on my blade.
:Viconia: I look forward to your attempt... and to turning it against you. *starts 1-day timer*
One day later :
:Keldorn: Your time is done, drow! I gave you your warning!
:Viconia: How noble... and how foolish. *attacks Keldorn*
===With Yoshimo===
If Keldorn hasn't finished his quest yet :
:Yoshimo: Most holy paladin, vengeance of the righteous gods, you are a married man, are you not? What of your family? I have never heard you speak of them.
:Keldorn: Truly... I am married. I have a beautiful wife and two daughters. They are the joy of my life.
:Yoshimo: Are they? It is strange that you have not mentioned them before this.
:Keldorn: I assure you that they are. My wife is a charming woman, and my daughters are becoming likewise. That is all I will discuss of my family, thief, so begone.
Category:Companion quotes