List of Jokes

A joke was a message in Club Penguin that all penguins could "tell". Below is a list of jokes that were available to penguins. The jokes are often updated during each party also to celebrate the party.
==List of Jokes==
===Regular===
Question 	Answer
Why don't you see a penguin in the U.K.? 	Because they're afraid of Wales!
Why are penguins so popular on the Internet? 	Because they have Web Feet!
What do penguins sing on a birthday? 	Freeze a jolly good fellow
Why is it so easy to weigh fish? 	Because they have their own scales.
Why are igloos round? 	So that penguins can't hide in the corners
What bird can write underwater? 	A ball point PENguin!
What's black and white and goes round and round?	A penguin in a revolving door
Why do penguins eat fish? 	Because donuts get soggy before they can catch them
What do you call a penguin in the desert? 	Lost
What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes? 	A nervous wreck!
How does a penguin build its house? 	Igloos it together
How do you communicate with a fish? 	You drop him a line
What do you call a fish with no eyes? 	FSH
What's the best way to catch a fish? 	Have someone throw it at you
What is a penguin's favourite party game? 	Sardines
===Party===
====Operation: Blackout====
Question 	Answer
Why do polar bears have fur coats? 	Because Hawaiian shirts are too cold.
Why shouldn't you take a polar bear to the zoo? 	Because it would rather go to the movies.
What's the difference between a polar bear and a mailbox? 	If you don't know, you aren't very observant.
How do you stop a polar bear from charging? 	Ask politely.
Why are polar bears big and furry? 	If they were small and smooth, they'd be snowballs.
What do you get if you cross a polar bear and some seaweed? 	A polar bear!
How does a polar bear stop a DVD? 	He presses the pause button.
What do you call a polar bear with ice skates? 	A roller bear.
What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its teeth?	A nice salad.
====Holiday Party 2012====
Question 	Answer
What do you call a giant yeti? 	Nothing, you just run away!
Why does Santa have three gardens? 	So he can ho ho ho!
What carol do monkeys sing? 	Jungle Bells!
What's white and goes up? 	A confused snowflake!
What do elves learn in school? 	The elf-abet!
What hides in a bakery at Christmas? 	A mince spy!
What goes oh oh oh? 	Santa walking backwards!
What did one snowman say to the other?	Do you smell carrots?
====Prehistoric Party 2013====
Question 	Answer
What did the t-rex get after falling down? 	A dino-sore!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? 	A doyouthinkhesaurus?
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?	A try try ceratop!
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? 	A dinosnore!
What does a triceratops sit on? 	It's tricera bottom!
What's the best way to talk to a t-rex? 	From a distance!
What makes more noise than a t-rex? 	Two t-rexes!
====Hollywood Party====
Question 	Answer
Why didn't the hot dog star in any movies? 	He wasn't getting good rolls!
Why are movie stars so cool? 	They have a lot of fans!
Where do mermaids go to see movies? 	At the dive-in!
What is a rabbit's favorite dancing style? 	Hip-hop!
What do you get if you cross a fridge with a stereo?	Cool music!
Why did the fish go to Hollywood? 	He wanted to be a starfish!
Where did the cows go on a Saturday night? 	The moooovies!
====Puffle Party 2013====
Question 	Answer
Why did the penguin put oil on the puffle?	It was squeaking!
What do you call a puffle in space? 	Lost!
Why did the puffle cross the playground? 	To get to the other slide!
What do you call a puffle with a cold? 	A snuffle!
What pet makes the loudest noise? 	A trum-pet!
How do puffles like their dinner? 	O Berry well!
What's cute and fluffy and jumps a lot? 	A puffle with a hiccups!
What did the artist name his puffle? 	Drew!
====Marvel Super Hero Takeover 2013====
Question 	Answer
What is a super hero's favorite drink? 	Fruit punch!
What did the super hero say about the falling airplane?	Excuse me, I have to catch a flight!
How many villains does it take to change a lightbulb? 	None! They like the dark!
What do you call a hero with soup on his cape? 	A soup-er hero!
What is a super villain's favorite part of a joke? 	The 'punch' line!
What is a super hero's favorite meal? 	A hero sandwich!
Why did the super villain have no friends? 	Even his breath was bad!
====Monsters University Takeover====
Question 	Answer
What subject do snakes like? 	Hisstory!
Why are fish so smart? 	They're always in schools!
What do you say to a three-headed monster? 	Hello hello hello!
What flies around the classroom at night? 	The alpha-BAT!
What subject do trees like? 	Geome-tree!
How does a penguin go to school? 	On an icicle!
What did the flower get in school? 	All bees!
Why did the clock in the cafeteria always run slow?	Every lunch it went back four seconds!
What do sea monsters eat? 	Fish and ships!
====Star Wars Takeover====
Question 	Answer
What do planets like to read? 	Comet books!
Where does Luke Skywalker buy his Lightsaber? 	Darth Mall!
What do you call a Sith that works at a restaurant?	Darth Waiter!
Why didn't the Droid like the cafe on the asteroid?	There was no atmosphere!
Where did the X-wing fighter park his ship? 	A parking meteor!
How did the penguin get to Endor? 	Ewoked over!
Why do doctors make the best Jedi? 	Because a Jedi must have patience!
What's a Jedi's favorite toy? 	A yo-yoda!
Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? 	To get to the Dark Side.
====Medieval Party 2013====
Question 	Answer
What do frog princes like to eat with their hamburgers? 	French flies!
When is a piece of wood like a king? 	When it's a ruler!
What has six legs, four ears and a shining suit of armor?	A prince on horseback!
How can you tell if there's a dragon in your closet? 	Because the door won't close!
Why was the queen's room flooded? 	Because she reigned for many years!
What was Camelot? 	A place where people parked their camels!
What do you call a mosquito in a tin suit? 	A bite in shining armor!
How do you send a message in the forest? 	By moss code!
Why were they called the dark ages? 	Because there were so many knights!
====Halloween Party 2013====
Question 	Answer
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? 	Hope that it's Halloween!
What's a haunted chicken? 	A poultry-geist!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? 	Squash!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? 	No, they eat the fingers separately!
Why didn't Dracula have any friends? 	He was a pain in the neck!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? 	The trombone!
What is a mummy's favorite type of music? 	Rap music!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?	Frostbite!
What kind of streets do zombies like the best? 	Dead ends!
What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo? 	A pumpkin patch!
====Operation: Puffle====
Question 	Answer
What do you call a courteous spy? 	A gent!
What's the stealthiest bug? 	A spy-der!
Why did the spy show up without his gear? 	Eavesdropped it!
What's Herbert's favorite piece of furniture?	A vege-table!
Where do you find polar bears? 	It depends on where you lost them!
Why doesn't Herbert have any friends? 	He's un-bear-able!
What do you call a polar bear with skates? 	A roller bear
How did the penguins stay safe in the forest?	They went in trees!
What's great about camping? 	It's in-tents!
What flies, bites, and talks in code? 	A morse-quito!
====Holiday Party 2013====
Question 	Answer
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? 	Snowflakes!
Who hides in the bakery on the Holidays? 	A mince spy!
What do you call Santa on a break? 	Santa Pause!
What are Holiday songs called underwater?	Corals!
How do trains hear? 	Through engine-EARS!
What says Oh Oh Oh? 	Santa walking backwards!
What's green, wears tinsels and croaks? 	A mistle-toad!
What's the angriest train track piece? 	A cross-tie!
What do elves learn in school? 	The ELF-abet!
What shoes should you wear on a train? 	Platforms!
====Prehistoric Party 2014====
Question 	Answer
Where do dinosaurs like to go on vacation? 	To the dino-shore!
How do you know if there's a dinosaur under your bed?	Your nose hits the ceiling!
What's the new caveguin dance craze? 	The ooga booga boogie
What dinosaur can jump higher than an igloo? 	All of them, igloos can’t jump!
What do you call a wandering caveguin? 	A meanderthal!
What happened when the T-Rex took the train home? 	He had to bring it back!
What's a caveguin's favorite meal? 	A club sandwich!
What do you call a plated dinosaur when he is asleep?	Stego-snore-us!
What do you get when two dinosaurs collide? 	Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
==== The Fair 2014/The Fair 2015 ====
Question 	Answer
What do you use in a puffle canoe? 	Puffle paddles!
Where do cowboys cook their meals? 	On the range
Why's Herbert like a roller coaster? 	He's got his ups and downs!
Why did the reporter go on the roller coaster? 	To stay in the loop!
Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs? 	He was always horsing around
How much do pirate earrings cost? 	A buck-an-ear!
Where does the space squid park his ship? 	A parking meteor?
What color do pirates hate? 	Maroon!
What is PH's favorite dance? 	The Puffle Shuffle!
What did the penguin do in the retro arcade machine?	Ate bits!
==== Muppets World Tour ====
Question 	Answer
What do you get from a cow and a duck? 	Milk and Quackers!
What do Constantine and the Swedish Chef have in common? 	They're known for their capers!
What did the actress say when saw her first grey hair? 	I think I'll dye!
Houdini used trap doors for a while... 	He was going through a stage!
When do you put a sweater on a hotdog? 	When it's a chili dog!
I didn't know how lightning worked... 	But then it struck me!
What do you call a penguin with a lightbulb in its beak? 	Lightheaded!
How does the man in the moon cut his hair? 	Eclipse it!
Someone asked me...Did you take a bath today? and I said...	Why is there one missing?
====Puffle Party 2014====
Question 	Answer
How does the cat get its own way? 	With friendly purr-suasion.
Why are cats good at video games? 	Because they have nine lives!
What do you call a sad border collie? 	Melan-collie!
What's a border collie's favorite dish? 	Shepherd's Pie!
How is cat food sold? 	Usually purr can!
Why did the cat drink his water fast? 	To set a new lap record!
When is a vet the busiest? 	When it's raining cats and dogs!
What's a dog crossed with a rose called?	A collie-flower!
What do you call a small cat? 	An itty bitty kitty.
====Future Party====
Question 	Answer
What kind of plates do they use in space?	Flying saucers!
How do planets get clean? 	Meteor showers!
How do you throw a space party? 	You planet?
Why do robots go back to college? 	Their skills get rusty!
What is a robot's favorite type of music?	Heavy Metal!
What's so great about astronaut food? 	It's out of this world!
How do space pilots tie their shoes? 	With astro-knots!
Why was the robot angry? 	Because someone pushed its buttons!
====Penguin Cup====
Question 	Answer
Why don't grasshoppers like soccer? 	They prefer cricket!
Why did the player put his shoe to his ear?	Because he liked sole music!
If the field floods, what does the team do?	Brings out the subs!
Why did the soccer player have string? 	So she could tie up the score!
What lights up a soccer field at night? 	A soccer match!
Why are soccer players good at math? 	They know how to use their heads!
Why are magicians good at soccer? 	They do hat tricks!
Why was the soccer field all wet? 	The players dribbled all over it!
====Music Jam 2014/SoundStudio Party====
Question 	Answer
Why are pirates such good singers? 	They hit the high Cs!
Why is a piano so hard to open? 	The keys are on the inside!
What makes music on your head? 	A head band!
What kind of music scares balloons? 	Pop music!
How do you know when a drummer is at your door? 	The knocking speeds up!
What was stolen from the music store? 	The lute!
What do you call a sweet potato playing jazz? 	A yam session!
Why was the musician arrested? 	He was in treble!
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?	You can't tuna fish!
====Frozen Party/Frozen Fever Party 2015====
Question 	Answer
What do Arendelle folks say about winter? 	It's snow problem!
What's a troll's favorite kind of house? 	A fixer-upper!
What's black and white and red all over? 	A penguin with a sunburn!
How do bears keep cool in the summer? 	Bear conditioning!
How does a snowman lose weight? 	He waits for summer!
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?	A snow mobile!
What does a snowman take when he's sick? 	A chill pill!
What does the grumpy snowman give? 	The cold shoulder!
What does a snowman put on iceburgers? 	Chilly sauce!
====School & Skate Party====
Question 	Answer
How do you get straight A's? 	Use a ruler!
Why didn't the sun go to college? 	It already had a million degrees!
What's a pirate's favorite subject? 	Arrrrrt!
Why did Rookie take a ladder to school?	He heard it was high school!
What did the pen say to the pencil? 	What's your point?
Why did the student eat his homework? 	He heard it was a piece of cake!
Why is the king only one foot tall? 	Because he's a ruler!
====Halloween Party 2014====
Question 	Answer
What do ghosts put on coffee? 	Scream and sugar!
What do vampire teachers do? 	Give blood tests!
What do you call a ghost play? 	A stage fright!
Why did the skeleton go to the BBQ? 	To get a spare rib!
What is a ghost's favorite fruit? 	BOO-berries!
What monster wears the most clothes?	A wear-wolf!
What street does a vampire live on? 	A dead-end!
What do ghosts eat for dinner? 	SPOOK-ghetti!
==== Pirate Party 2014/Talk Like a Pirate Day ====
Question 	Answer
What is a pirate's favorite dessert? 	Peach cobblARRRRR!
What do you get when you cross... 	a pirate with a zucchini?
Know any good pirate jokes? 	Neither do ayyyyyy!
What happened when Redbeard... 	fell into the Blue Sea?
What do pirates wear in the winter? 	Long Johns!
What grades did the pirate get in school?	High Seas!
What did the pirate say... 	when he crashed on the iceberg?
How does a pirate clean his ship? 	He has a Yarrrrrrrrd sale!
==== Merry Walrus Party ====
Question 	Answer
What did the snowman say to the other snowman?	Can you smell carrot?
What's white and goes up? 	A confused snowflake!
What do elves learn in school? 	The ELF-abet!
Why do mummies like the holidays? 	All the wrapping!
What do you get when you eat decorations? 	Tinselitis!
Who hides in the bakery on the holidays? 	A mice-spy!
What's green, wears tinsel, and croaks? 	A mistle-toad!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? 	Snowflakes!
What are holiday songs called underwater? 	Corals!
Where do walruses go to see movies? 	The dive-in!
==== Star Wars Rebels Takeover ====
Question 	Answer
What do planets like to read? 	Comet books!
Where does Luke Skywalker buy his lightsaber? 	Darth Mall!
What do you call a Sith that works at a restaurant? 	Darth Waiter!
Why didn't the droid like the coffee on the asteroid?	There was no atmosphere!
Where does the Ghost park? 	A parking meteor!
How did the penguin get to Endor? 	Ewoked over!
Why do doctors make the best Jedi? 	Because a Jedi must have patience!
What's a Jedi's favorite toy? 	A yo-yoda!
Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? 	To get to the Dark Side.
====Puffle Party 2015====
Question 	Answer
What do you call a puffle with a cold? 	A snuffle!
Why did the puffle cross the park? 	To get to the other slide!
What's cute and fluffy and jumps a lot?	A puffle with hiccups!
What do you call a puffle in space? 	Lost!
How do puffles like their dinner? 	O Berry well!
What pet makes the loudest noise? 	A trum-pet!
What do you call a sad border collie? 	Melan-collie!
When is a vet the busiest? 	When it's raining cats and dogs!
Why did the cat drink his water fast? 	To set a new lap record!
How do puffles eat spaghetti? 	With their mouths!
==Trivia==
*There were jokes in every newspaper issue.
*During April Fools' Parties, there was a room called Silly Dimension, where the goal was to tell as many jokes as possible.
*To tell jokes quickly, you could press "J" on your keyboard.
**This is similar to the keys for dancing (D) and waving (W).