Death Has a Shadow

Death Has a Shadow is the tenth episode of Season One in Bikini Bottom Jenkins.
==Synopsis==
Old Man Jenkins is forced to confront his possible fate, death, after Fred runs over his leg.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with a parody of the Family Guy theme song, taking place in Old Man Jenkins’ basement)
Mabel: It seems today
Walker: That all you see
Scooter: Is violence in movies and anchovies on TV
Jenkins: But where are those good old fashioned values?
All four: On which we used to relyyyyyyyyy? Lucky there’s an Old Man Jenkins!
Fred (on a bulldozer): Lucky there’s a man who-
(Fred’s bulldozer accidentally crushes Jenkins’ leg)
Jenkins: MY LEG! MY GOSH DURN LEG!
Fred: Wow, for once I actually made someone else say it.
Jenkins: I AM IN ENDLESS PAIN!
Scooter: Dude, are you okay?
Mabel: Let’s get him to the hospital.
(Cut to the hospital, where the four of them are in the waiting room to see him)
Scooter: Bummer man, I knew that theme song parody was a bad idea.
Mabel: Forget that, why did Fred bring his bulldozer to the place?
Fred: Hey, first of all it wasn’t mine. I know a guy who knows a guy who loves bulldozers. Second of all, I am that guy.
Receptionist: You may now see Mr. Jenkins, you three. But only for a short time, he needs his rest.
Scooter: Yes, receptionist.
Receptionist: I have a name, you know, and it’s Nancy.
Mabel: Nancy Suzy Fish?!
Nancy: Yeah, it’s a small world we live in, huh? Go on now.
(The three of them head for Jenkins’ room, and gather around his hospital bed)
Jenkins: Wh- what happened?
Walker: Did you seriously pass out from your leg getting run over?
Jenkins: My leg got run over?! Man, Fred must’ve been cracking up.
Fred: I’m right here, dude.
Jenkins: Oh.
Scooter: Yeah, bummer dude.
Hospital TV: BUMMER DUDE ACTION FIGURES IN STORES NOW!
Jenkins: Am… am I gonna die?
Scooter: Could be, man. For all you know this is your last day on earth.
Jenkins: WOO-HOO! Death here I come!
(He starts violently coughing and the others leave the room)
Nurse: Sir, I'm afraid to say… you only have one hour left to live. Apparently you have a rare blood clotting disease that causes your blood flow to cease when one of your limbs is cut off. One in a million. Technology hasn’t advanced enough for us to take care of the disease, so there’s not much we can do here except let you die.
Jenkins: Alrighty. Cool.
Nurse: You're not sad you're gonna die?
Jenkins: Not really, my time has come.
Nurse: Think about it for a minute. I'll be right back. (leaves Jenkins alone in the hospital bed)
Jenkins: Heh, think about it, as if I haven't thought about death for years. (yawns) I'm gettin’ tired. Maybe it'll come when I'm asleep.
(Jenkins gets comfy in the hospital bed and falls asleep, snoring. He then ends up on a haunted ship high in the sky in the middle of the night)
Jenkins: Huh? Where am I?
Flying Dutchman: Your very demise! Muhahahaha!
Jenkins: Alright, where do I start?
Flying Dutchman: ...you're not scared or anything? Not even a little nervous?
Jenkins: Nope.
Flying Dutchman: Lemme show you something that'll change your mind.
Jenkins: Ha, I doubt you can even change my mind by a millimeter!
Flying Dutchman: We’ll see about that one. Follow me.
(The Dutchman enters a small corridor in the back of the ship. Jenkins follows, unimpressed)
Dutchman: Here we are! The fly of despair!
Jenkins: I feel like I've heard that name before…
Dutchman: Why yes, back in ‘01-
Jenkins: No need to tell me. I’ve seen the show plenty of times before. Let’s just get this over with.
Dutchman: Wow, enthusiastic to go through a world of pain, huh? Just letting you know, this is what it’s like to die.
Jenkins: Yeah whatever.
Dutchman: Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
(He snaps his finger, and a floating closed zipper appears. He opens it up, picks up Old Man Jenkins, and tosses him through the opening)
Jenkins: (now falling endlessly) Huh. So this is what it’s like to die.
Archie: Hello, Jenkins.
Jenkins: AH! STAY AWAY!
Archie: I’m here to haunt your afterlife… foreeeveeeerrrrr.
Jenkins: NO! NO! This can’t be real!
Archie: Oh I’m not, I’m just here to tell you that you should fear death.
Jenkins: Nice try, kid.
Archie: Huh?
Jenkins: You have to be real. I’m still alive.
Archie: Are you suuuuuure about that one, Jenkins?
Jenkins: Hmm… come to think of it… no.
(A floor appears underneath Jenkins, and Archie starts chasing him)
Archie: You can run, but you can’t run fast enough to get away from me!
Jenkins: No! No I can!
(Archie does indeed catch up with him, and rips Jenkins’ leg off)
Jenkins: NO! MY LEEEEEEG! THE PAIN IS UNREAL!
Archie: Muhahahahaha! Now you know what it feels like to die!
Jenkins: I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die! I want to live!
Dutchman: Good! (snaps finger, putting Jenkins back onto the ship) I hope I taught ya a valuable lesson, old timer.
Jenkins: Look who’s talking.
Dutchman: Oh come on, I’m only 300 years old or so. Not even a millennium yet, not even close.
Jenkins: So can I go back now?
Dutchman: Back? Lad, you’re already back!
(Jenkins wakes up)
Jenkins: AHH!
Nurse: Something wrong, Mr. Jenkins?
Jenkins: I just had an epiphany. I don’t wanna die!
Nurse: Aw, finally someone gets it.
Jenkins: Wait, why don’t you want me to die in the first place?
Nurse: I see so many of my patients wish for death, and honestly I’m sick and tired of it. So I hired a shrink to prevent that from ever happening again.
Dutchman: (suddenly appears) I AM NOT. A. SHRINK! FOR THE LAST TIME! THE ONLY THING I WILL SHRINK IS YOUR WILL TO LI- oh yeah I forgot. Oopsies. Bye bye now. (disappears)
Jenkins: So I’m gonna live, right?
Nurse: You live to see another day.
Jenkins: Woo-hoo! I love living!
Mary’s mother: I hate living. I’m just a shriveled up prune whose daughter is waiting for me to die.
Nurse: Mr. Ghost sir, you know what to do.
Dutchman: Actually she’s over 130 years old, just let her die.
Nurse: Alright. (unplugs Mary’s mother’s life support as the episode ends)
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