Headhunters: The Fine Nine

== Introduction ==
No intro necessary. Let's get this one over with.
== In Memorium: Henry VIII ==
The moment has finally arrived and anyone who believes in fantasy curses knew it was coming. Henry the Eighth is eliminated eighth. Next year I'll be sure to change my team name to Henry the Never. 
I really thought I had the best strategy out of everyone, but the execution just wasn't there. Two of my key WRs, Hollywood and Gallup, were on the bye, and I had just lost Kerryon Johnson to IR the week before. Investments such as George Kittle and DJ Moore were paying off, and in total I had started SIX players who had been won in bidding wars. But trying to ride out the initial wave of big bidding only could take the team so far and they were overpowered in week eight.
The part that pains me the most is knowing that I didn't just suck outright. I had the win on my bench with Jared Goff, but started Kirky knowing full well that Cousins folds in primetime slots. I was set up really nice to be once again atop the hierarchy in terms of remaining budget, but I didn't survive long enough to see the strategy pay off. I needed one more week, and Headhunters doesn't give us what we want.
Personally, this was my favorite league this year because I didn't need to worry about excruciating head-to-head losses every week. I only need to go through this pain of defeat once. I'm sad it's over but I'm curious to see what happens next.
Me:
== New Releases ==
Damn my team was good:
#Dalvin Cook (I'm going to really miss having Cook in a league. Pat stole him from me in my main league and he knows it. FOOKAYU PAT)
#George Kittle
#TY Hilton
#DJ Moore (yup, here he is again. This is the fourth time he has been eliminated/put up for auction)
#Michael Gallup
== Week Eight Bidding Results ==
Week Eight Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid 	Next Highest Bid
Evan Engram 	DogTheKareemHunter 	$185 	$71 (Henry VIII)
Patrick Mahomes	Al Snow's Fav Squad	$175 	$33 (Henry VIII)
Adam Thielen 	Al Snow's Fav Squad	$96 	$85 (Henry VIII)
Dede Westbrook 	Al Snow's Fav Squad	$69 	$47 (Bobecue Chicken)
Michael Gallup 	Henry VIII 	$41 (Waiver Priority)	$41 (The Guilloteam)
Ty Johnson 	Ron Saquonson 	$37 	$36 (Bobecue Chicken)
Matt Breida 	Ron Saquonson 	$27 	$20 (The Guilloteam)
Bid Bullets: 
*Al Snow is here to behead and bid and he's all out of behead. He's got me so pretzeled that I spent a dumb amount of time trying to figure out how $175 fits into 69.  
*Henry VIII being 2nd on the top three bids hurts a bit.
*DogTheKareemHunter absolutely shocked the world by dropping bank on Evan Engram, leaving them with just $50 for the remainder of the competition.
*Ty Johnson sucks.
*Fewer and fewer players have been bid on every week as teams a.) run low on cash and b.) actually have rosters with players that they don't want to drop. Eventually we will see a tipping points where teams are so loaded that they are dropping first round picks to bid on other first round picks.
== Your Financial Portfolio ==
 
Team 	Amount Spent	Points Earned	Cost Per Point
Neck-Fix and Chill 	$1,000 	320.76 	$3.12
Bad Boys 	$988 	369.62 	$2.67
#DogtheKareemHunter	$950 	350.64 	$2.71
Ron Saquonson 	$938 	278.77 	$3.36
Chris P's Neat Team	$937 	195.06 	$4.80
Cam Shaft 	$887 	367.16 	$2.42
Henry VIII 	$656 	267.43 	$2.45
The Guilloteam 	$615 	297.60 	$2.07
Al Snow's Fav Squad	$600 	129.96 	$4.62
Bobecue Chicken 	$478 	184.76 	$2.59
Out of Luck 	$414 	21 	$19.71
Wrath of Saquon 	$340 	56.16 	$6.05
Bluedevils 	$300 	86.79 	$3.45
FFDraftScott 	$179 	38.15 	$4.69
*Best Investor: The Guilloteam
*Worst Investor: Al Snow's Fav Squad
== Week Eight Results ==
Week Eight Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1 (3) 	Ron Saquonson 	257.32
2 (2) 	Chris P's Neat Team	239.87
3 (10) 	The Guilloteam 	212.16
4 (6) 	Cam Shaft 	207.92
5 (4) 	Bobecue Chicken 	191.02
6 (7) 	#DogTheKareemHunter	187.99
7 (9) 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	181.87
8 (1) 	Al Snow's Fav Squad	178.87
9 (8) 	Bad Boys 	164.25
10 (5) 	Henry VIII 	149.78
11 	Bluedevils 	0
12 	Wrath of Saquon 	0
13 	Philip's Team 	0
14 	Out of Luck 	0
15 	@FFDraftScott 	0
16 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	0
17 	Moore $ Mo Problems	0
* Special note: this is the third week in a row that Chris P has finished 2nd.
* Biggest Climber: The Guilloteam (Up 7 Spots)
* Biggest Faller: Al Snow's Fav Squad (Down 7 Spots)
== Narrow Defeats ==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
Out of Luck 	0.32 	4
Moore $ Mo Problems	1.87 	1
You Hate 2 See It 	7.96 	2
FFDraftScott 	8.80 	3
Henry VIII 	14.47 	8
Wrath of Saquon 	18.41 	6
Bluedevils 	30.82 	7
Philip's Team 	60.50 	5
== Kings of the Castle ==
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Chris P's Neat Team 	278.64
2 	The Guilloteam 	220.94
3 	Al Snow's Fav Squad 	241.99
4 	Wrath of Saquon 	206.22
5 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	247.22
6 	Cam Shaft 	226.91
7 	Al Snow's Fav Squad (2)	242.52
8 	Ron Saquonson 	257.32
Eight weeks, seven different first place finishers.
== Dungeon Dwellers ==
A new week, a new chart. Here is a list of second-to-last place teams every week so far this season:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Philip's Team 	117.03
2 	Bad Boys 	118.29
3 	DogTheKareemHunter 	140.03
4 	Bad Boys (2) 	120.83
5 	Bobecue Chicken 	156.93
6 	DogTheKareemHunter (2)	137.69
7 	The Guilloteam 	135.12
8 	Bad Boys (3) 	164.25
BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS, Watcha gunna do, watcha gunna do when they should have been eliminated five weeks ago instead of you. Bad Boys Bad boys...
== Draft Dodgers ==
Okay, for weeks now Mike, AKA Ron Saquonson, has been asking me to give him some credit for being the guy to draft 17th and still be alive in Headhunters 2019. I mean, sure it sounds like the most difficult spot to draft. But think about it this way, he is the only team to have two picks in the first 18. No one else has that advantage. 
But okay, I guess it's an accomplishment. So it got me thinking: how has everyone done compared to where they drafted? 
Team Results Based on Draft Position 
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Wrath of Saquon 	6
2 	Bad Boys 	ALIVE
3 	Al Snow's Fav Squad	ALIVE
4 	Bluedevils 	7
5 	Bobecue Chicken 	ALIVE
6 	Cam Shaft 	ALIVE
7 	Moore $ Mo Problems	1
8 	The Guilloteam 	ALIVE
9 	Philip's Team 	5
10 	Chris P's Neat Team	ALIVE
11 	Henry VIII 	8
12 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2
13 	FFDraftScott 	3
14 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	ALIVE
15 	Out of Luck 	4
16 	DogTheKareemHunter 	ALIVE
17 	Ron Saquonson 	ALIVE
What can we make from this? I guess that the middle picks were the most difficult to recover from. Four of the top six picks are still alive, as are three of the bottom four picks. 
==Quick Note on Trades==
Now that I have been eliminated, along with seven other teams, the voting system does not function as a viable option for trade vetoes. Yahoo doesn't account for the half of the league that is no longer active, so no veto will ever reach a majority. As a non-competitor, I am going to operate as judge, jury, and executioner for all trades moving forward. I will process all trades on a 24-hour clock to give teams time to file grievances with the league offices (my text message inbox). 
Trades that will be vetoed by me regardless of manager grievances:
*Trading your best players for 2020 picks on the eve of your inevitable elimination. 
*Trading your leftover cash for 2020 picks on the eve of your inevitable elimination. 
*Trading MNF players on Sunday to try and save another team. 
*Other obviously collusive deals that we are used to in standard leagues.
That being said, I have processed the stupid trade between Al Snow and Bad Boys. Congrats on your 2020 Headhunters trophy, Zach. 
== Power Rankings ==
=== 1(1). Al Snow's Fav Squad ===
Al Snow traded three bench players for Julio Jones and still has funds to bring in more top-tier talent. If he lands Dalvin, it's effectively over. 
=== 2(2). Chris P's Neat Team ===
Should be getting Davante Adams back soon and has consistently scored well. He has a 150-point lead over Zach in the overall standings. 
=== 3(3). Cam Shaft ===
Might have lost Brandin Cooks this week, potentially for the season, and has a tough bye week in week 11. But for the next couple weeks they should be fine.
=== 4(6). Ron Saquonson ===
No Kupp this week and Ty Johnson might be a dud (Detroit run game has been stagnant even before losing Johnson). They've also lost two other RBs to injury (Chase/Breida) but let's not forget that they get Kareem Hunt back soon. Potential is here if they can get their backs in order.
=== 5(4). The Guilloteam ===
Mr. Inconsistency is at it again, threatening to roll out Jacoby Brissett this week. Be curious to see what they do without Austin Hooper this week, seeing as Zach Ertz is a shell of his former self. 
=== 6(7). Bobecue Chicken ===
If this David Johnson injury is more serious than the Cards are letting on it's a problem for the chicken. They essentially have no depth and they are still starting guys that I am surprised to see in a nine-team league. Yes, this is a copy and paste job. What more is there to say? This must be what covering the Cardinals is like.
=== 7(5). Neck-Fix and Chill ===
I can't shake the feeling that a reckoning is upon us for Neck-Fix. They are projected for 155 this week and barely have enough players to roster a full team with five players either hurt or on the bye. It looks like she'll have to roll out Olsen, Witten, and OJ Howard just to field a complete unit. 
=== 8(9). Dog The Kareem Hunter ===
Consistently average might be just enough to keep them alive another week.
=== 9(8). Bad Boys ===
Traded Julio Jones for three guys who couldn't hold Julio's jockstrap, but these are desperate times and there were major roster issues with the huge week 9 bye upon him. It was a matter of survival in the short term, but the chance of this team making a run for the trophy is now likely gone.
== Average Scores of Eliminated Teams ==
Week Three Results
Team 	Average Score 	Weeks Survived
Out of Luck 	179.46 	3
Bluedevils 	176.93 	6
Henry VIII 	169.62 (TAKE THAT AL SNOW)	7
Wrath of Saquon 	162.60 	5
FFDraftScott 	160.38 	2
Ya Hate 2 See It 	143.18 	1
Philip's Team 	139.78 	4
Moore $ Mo Problems	115.16 	0
== Remaining Budget ==
Remaining Budget as of 10/30/2019
Player 	Total Budget
Bobecue Chicken 	522
Al Snow's Fav Squad	400
The Guilloteam 	385
Cam Shaft 	113
Chris P's Neat Team	63
Ron Saquonson 	62
DogTheKareemHunter 	50
Bad Boys 	12
Neck-Fix and Chill 	0
Henry VIII 	0
Bluedevils 	0
Wrath of Saquon 	0
Philip's Team 	0
Out of Luck 	0
@FFDraftScott 	0
Moore $ Mo Problems	0
Ya Hate 2 See It 	0
==Bye Weeks==
I have a question: who the hell does the NFL think it is having all these three massive fantasy teams on the bye the same week? And also the Bengals.
*Atlanta Falcons
*Cincinnati Bengals
*LA Rams
*New Orleans Saints
Happy bidding and also be sure to check back for the Elite Eight writeup where I have a huge announcement for what the winner of this season will get as a prize and how it will affect the 2020 Headhunters season....(eyeballs emoji)