Spingame: The Tale of Golfsbre

Spingame: The Tale of Golfsbre is CartoonGuy's Spin-Off Kings' Spin-Off Because Yes' seventh episode. It aired on January 19, 2021, was written by CartoonGuy277, and its theme was supervillain backstory.
== Transcript ==
[The episode starts in an almost empty room, with nothing but Golf looking at SBFW on his iPad and a bowl of strawberries]
Golf: HOLY-......SEX?!
Angry Golf: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! GET ON FOOGLE GMAIL AND WRITE TO FANDOM! REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT REPORT
Calm Golf: Hold on fellas, we don’t want an user to be globalled for his creative choice to write about sex now do we?
Cynical Golf: Whatever.
Woke Golf: Is the sex politically correct?
Angry Golf: Shut it, Stalin’s platypus! They are not an user, they are a filthy policy breaking creature!
Golf: AND WE’LL WASH THE FILTH AWAY!
[Cut to a lot of SBFW users walking around and talking]
Zoltan: So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Bot: Yeah, no one told me I would get shot by you!
Zoltan: Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s DOA.
[Jasbre suddenly arrives on a throne with wheels]
Jasbre: Greetings, your favorite black duck here-[he gets a tomato thrown at his face] AAAARGH! DAMMIT! Ugh, as I was sayi-[he gets Zoltan thrown at his face] AAAAAARGH! WHAT THE HELL?! UGH, I’ll get straight to the point, CrazySponge is dead!
Lots of users: *gasp*
Granite: Bruh moment.
Jasbre: [holds up CrazySponge’s dead body] Here he is! Dead! Oh sad day!
Purple: Jasbre, did you kill CrazySponge?
Jasbre: Of course not! You see, we were having a sleepover, but I woke up to see him dead on the floor! He left a letter. [he gets out a letter] “I am CrazySponge, and by the time you read this, I will be dead. Jasbre, I want you to own Box Productions, my friend. It is the year of you”. So yes, my corporation now owns Box Productions, so if I were you I would realise I am invincible and sell my company to me.
CrazySponge: [wakes up] Hey, what’s going on?
Lots of users: *gasp*
Liz: You’re alive?
CrazySponge: Oh, did I die? Well, CrazySponge regeneration exists.
Prim: Jasbre was saying you were having a sleepover and he woke up to see you dead with a letter saying he now owns Box Productions!
CrazySponge: could you dumb that down
Prim: Jasbre sleepover death letter own BP.
CrazySponge: WHAT?! I never wrote a letter! And I neevr had a sleepover! Jasbre, you have hit a new low! Attempted murder! But you forgot, I will never die, because I will always R E G E N E R A TE.
[Kirkburn appears holding a coffin]
Kirkburn: Huh? Attempted murder?
CrazySponge: Yeah Jasbre tried to murder me, forgetting that I can R E-
Kirkburn: TheJasbre202, we do not tolerate this kind of toxic behavior on FANDOM! Come here immediately!
Jasbre: [walks over to Kirkburn] This is all just a big misunderstanding, there is no need to-[he gets his hand grabbed by Kirkburn]
Kirkburn: You’re coming with me.
Jasbre: Oh no…….um, what’s up with the coffin?
Kirkburn: Oh, my good pal Golfpecks256 reported an user who wrote about sex, so we killed that user and put them in this coffin.
Jasbre: *gulp* Am I going to die too?
Kirkburn: Nah, death is only for those who write about sex. Attempted murder just lands you in our special little jail.
Jasbre: You’re despicable.
[The Seinfeld theme plays along with a laugh track, as the scene cuts to black. It then cuts to a shot of the FANDOM building and “The next day…” written on the screen. Cut to inside of the FANDOM building, where Jasbre is in a jail cell]
Angry Jasbre: THIS IS SO UNFAIR! HOW WILL WE BURN BOXES NOW?!
Calm Jasbre: Calm down, we could always ask for boxes to burn to FANDOM staff, to deal with our stress!
Woke Jasbre: DOWN WITH FANDOM STAFF! THEY CANNOT JAIL A MEMBER OF THE SBFW+ COMMUNITY!
Cynical Jasbre: Ugh, who’s writing this? It’d be nice if Jasbre had MORE character traits.
Kirkburn: [enters the room full of jail cells]
Jasbre: What do you want?
Kirkburn: Golfpecks256 wanted to visit you.
Jasbre: Huh?
Golf: [enters the room] Hello.
Jasbre: Golf? What are you doing here?
Kirkburn: I’ll leave you two to talk. [exits the room]
Golf: So, you tried to kill CrazySponge and got locked up in here.
Jasbre: And you came to visit me because? Do you just want to make me feel guilty?
Golf: No. You see, I know what you want to do. You want to take over every spin-off and such things.
Jasbre: Yes, and my plan was-
Golf: WRONG! Your plan was wrong! Resorting to murder...HOWEVER, I understand you. I also want to take over every spin-off, and I also absolutely LOATHE Box Productions! But have you ever thought about getting something that will guarantee you can own every spin-off? Arre’s glove.
Jasbre: Oh, you want to kill Arre?
Golf: NO! There’ll be no murder involved. You see, we will simply tell Arre about our situation, and then I’m sure she will let us have the glove.
Jasbre: That’ll never work, you penguin buffoon!
Golf: Do not worry, you daffy nimrod, trust me. KIRKBURN!
Kirkburn: [enters the room] Yes?
Golf: Could you please free Jasbre?
Kirkburn: Anything for you, Golf! [he unlocks Jasbre’s cell]
Jasbre: I’M FREE!
Golf: Come with me. [he exits the room with Jasbre]
Jasbre: [notices a room with an AK-47 assault rifle in it] WOAH! LOOK AT THAT! THAT’LL BE USEFUL FOR DEALING WITH ARRE! [he goes into the room]
Golf: HEY! [goes into the same room] NO MURDER!
Jasbre: OH SHUT IT!
Golf: COME WITH ME! WE WILL-
[Kirkburn appears out of nowhere, and pushes Golf and Jasbre into a machine]
Kirkburn: If this experiment works, we will rule the world…
[Golfsbre comes out of the machine]
Kirkburn: Oh, hello, Jolf…..wait, no, Golfsbre. Thanks to you, we will rule the wo-[gets shot repeatedly by Golfsbre with the AK-47 assault rifle and dies]
Golfsbre: [smirks] It’s the year of the Golfsbre.
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