Yellow Is Definitely Your Colour

__TOC__
== Intro ==
=== Oralie's POV ===
It was around midnight when Oralie got the hail on her imparter. Kenric had insisted that they talk about it when they could be sure they were alone. She had no idea what would tell her, but she prayed it wasn't anything bad. Oralie knocked on the door to Kenric's office, then waited. A moment later, she heard a soft click, and the door swung open.
Kenric's smile seemed a little more forced than usual as he led her inside.
He closed the door behind them, looking down.
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Kenric, what's wrong?"
"I... nothing's wrong... I mean, I guess it depends on how you react..."
"Oh, no, what did you do?"
"I didn't do anything!" A nervous giggle bubbled out of Kenric. "Look, Ora, I... I don't know how to say this..."
"Just tell me! I'm sure whatever it is, I'll be able to help you, if help is what you need-"
"I'm a woman."
"What?"
"I'm trans, Ora. I'm not a guy, I'm a girl."
Oralie blinked once, then twice, scanning Kenric's face. This didn't seem like a joke... "Really?"
"Yes really."
"So... what... what the ****? How long has it been since...?"
Kenric winced. Not exactly the most thrilling reaction so far... "I found out I was trans a couple years ago."
"Years!? What the ****! That means I've been misgendering you for years!"
Kenric blinked in surprise, then started to tear up. Wait, was Kenric even her name anymore?
Oralie strangled her in a hug.
She hugged back, feeling numb.
"So, what's your name?" Oralie whispered.
"Kavita," she whispered after a beat of silence.
"Kavita?"
"Y-yes... do you... like it-"
"Of course! I love it! It's a really pretty name."
Kavita looked like she was going to cry.
Oralie hugged tighter.
Kavita took a deep breath, pulling away. "Th-thanks, Ora..."
"You're welcome. I just wish you would've told me sooner! I could've given you make-overs! I could've... wait, who are you out to?"
"Just you," she whispered.
"So... I guess I have to use the wrong pronouns in front of the other Councillors?"
"Yeah..." Kavita winced.
Oralie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, plopping down on her little pink couch. "Wow..."
The person I'm in love with is a woman... So, what? Does that mean I'm a lesbian now?
Oralie had no idea how these things worked. She didn't want to say anything that would offend Ken- Kavita...
But she also didn't want to start giving her makeovers and giving her dresses and asking for tips on how to do her hair...
Honestly, she still saw her as a man. So... this would take some getting-used-to. Especially after she came out to the rest of the Council.
What would happen then?
She would transition, grow out her hair? Start dressing in a more feminine way?
Would they still be in love?
Oralie sighed heavily.
=== Kavita's POV ===
Kavita nervously picked at her fingernails. She heard Oralie sigh and looked up. She watched Ora's face. She was deep in thought; her brow was furrowed and she was biting the inside of her cheek anxiously.
Kavita couldn't help but think about how pretty she was...
"Watcha thinkin' about?" Kavita asked light-heartedly.
Ora looked up. "I'm just... I don't know... I need time to think about this..."
Kavita nodded, trying to ignore the feeling of her throat tightening. "I'm sorry, I thought... I just thought I needed to tell you... I just..."
Wait, why am I apologizing?
"You think I'm confused or something, don't you?"
Ora winced. "No, K... Kavita, I just need time to process this, okay? It's a lot to take in."
Kavita crossed her arms over her chest. It was a way to hide the flatness of her chest when she was feeling insecure, like now.
"It's f-fine," Kavita choked out. "I don't feel like a woman, either."
With that, she hurried out of Oralie's room.
She heard Oralie calling for her, by her dead name, and she felt tears burning in her eyes as she fled Oralie glittery pink castle.
== Chapter One ==
TWs: implications of alc/h/l, gender d/sphoria, cursing (it's censored)
=== Kavita's POV ===
Kavita paced around her castle. She glared at everything in the room. Every slightly feminine object, anything pink, anything glittery, any skirts and dresses she owned, and books she had bought about gender and the LGBTQ+ community.
She felt like it was all a lie. Covering everything in glitter didn't make you a girl.
I'm not a woman; I'm just a freak. A glittery, pink freak.
She tried so hard to shove herself into the "girl" box, but she was missing... a lot.
Maybe it was too soon to come out to Oralie. She wished she could take a pill or something that could transform her body into what she wanted it to be. Say goodbye to a flat chest and a masculine jawline. Poof goes the testosterone and annoying deep voice. She'd tried to make her voice sound higher, but then she just sounded stupid.
Like a man on helium.
It wasn't the same as having a naturally smooth and feminine voice. Sometimes she wondered if she was in love with Oralie, or just envious of her. Gender envy at its finest.
She hated looking in the mirror. She hated the clothes she had to wear in front of the Council. She hated a lot of things.
But she really hated coming out to Oralie.
Why couldn't she just accept me the way I am? What's wrong with me? Why did I even tell her?
She heard a knock on her door. She didn't want to answer it. It was probably Oralie coming to apologize.
She honestly didn't want an apology, but she opened the door.
Oralie quickly wrapped her in a hug. "I'm really sorry! I just... I was just surprised..."
Kavita teared up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"
"Stop." She felt Ora squeeze her tighter. "I should've just accepted it. I'm sorry if I did anything wrong. And I'm sorry I called you by the wrong name."
Kavita felt tears burn her eyes. She blinked, and they slipped down her cheeks.
"I guess I'm just gonna have to get used to being in love with a girl," Oralie whispered.
Kavita shivered slightly at the softness of her voice.
"Are you... are you okay?"
She couldn't find the words to respond. She pulled out of the hug slightly.
Ora saw the tears on her face and reached up to wipe them away.
Kavita just cried more, breaking down into ugly sobs and falling against Oralie. She held onto her.
After most of the tears were out, she whispered, "I love you, too."
=== Oralie's POV ===
Oralie spent a little longer holding Kavita in her arms before coming to a decision. She wanted to try to make it up to her. "Hey, Kavita?" The name still felt weird on her tongue, but Ora watched her eyes light up and decided it was more than worth it. The name was beautiful, anyways. She shouldn't have too much trouble remembering it...
"Yeah?" Kavita whispered.
"Do you want to come back to my castle? I could... give you a makeover...?"
Kavita seemed to freeze up. "Sure," she choked out.
Clearly, something was bothering her, but Oralie quickly overlooked it. It had been quite a while since she'd given someone a makeover.
=== Kavita's POV ===
Kavita was trying hard not to fidget. This was the first time she was having her makeup done. She couldn't help but feel nervous.
Oralie smiled. "You look amazing, I promise!" She handed Kavita a mirror.
Kavita gasped. "How did you..."
"Do you like it?"
"I look... it's..." She started to tear up.
Oralie squeezed her hand. "You look beautiful."
Kavita nodded like she couldn't believe it. She looked at her reflection again. "I... I am beautiful..." she murmured.
Oralie giggled. "Would you like to borrow a dress?"
Excitement and nausea swept over Kavita. Mostly nausea. "I would like that a lot..." she said quietly.
Oralie quickly went to her closet. Kavita had never done anything like this before. She felt happier than she had in a long time. She ran a hand through her short hair, wondering what it would look like when it grew out. Maybe it would be a little wavy? She couldn't wait until it was long enough to throw into a messy ponytail. She envied girls who complained about their long messy hair... There was a feeling of dread there, too. Eventually, she would have to tell the rest of the Council. How would they react? She couldn't imagine what Bronte would say. Or Emery. Terik might be understanding...
The closet door flew open, interrupting her thoughts, and Oralie came out, holding a bright yellow sun-dress. "Yellow is definitely your colour," she said, pulling Kavita to her feet and holding the dress against her.
She felt her face heat up as Oralie set the dress in her arms. "Try it on," she told her, smiling.
"Okay..." Kavita took a deep breath and shuffled to the bathroom, gently closing the door behind her.
The mirror didn't help. It just made her want to cry. She scanned the reflection, cringing. Her body didn't fit in the dress right, and her hair was a mess. She just looked like a guy. A guy who was trying way too hard to be something he would never be. Kavita gulped and stepped out of the bathroom.'''
Oralie smiled. "You look-"
"I look like a ******* idiot."
Oralie frowned. "What? No, you don't!"
She took a shaky breath. "Look at me, Ora. What do you see? I look like a drunk weirdo."
"No, you don't. Kavita, listen to me."
Kavita choked back tears. She was still getting used to hearing her name. Kavita. She looked at Oralie.
"First of all, it absolutely does not matter what you look like. If you're a girl, then you're a girl. End of story. Second of all, you look amazing. And you look amazing in a tunic, without any make-up on. Because without all of this, you're still a woman, okay? It doesn't matter if your body isn't the same, because all bodies are different, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that."
Kavita wiped her eyes. "Ora..."
Oralie wrapped her in a hug. There was a short silence. Kavita opened her mouth to thank Ora, but was interrupted by the sound of a door swinging open.
Bronte was standing there. "Oralie! Emery needs to talk to you abou-" He cut himself off, glancing at Kavita. "What the..." he mumbled.
Kavita quickly moved away from Oralie.
"Who is that?" Bronte demanded. Then he squinted.
Low and behold, under all that make-up... "What... is that Kenric? What is going on in here?"
Kavita scratched the back of her head. "H-hey, Bronte."
Oralie pressed her lips together.
Bronte waited for an explanation.
"I'm trans," Kavita blurted.
He furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"
"I'm trans, Bronte, I'm a woman." Her voice was shaky and on-edge. She willed herself not to cry in front of Bronte.
Bronte froze, processing this.
She gulped.
Bronte pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright. What's your name?"
Oralie blinked. Kavita didn't say anything.
He looked up at Kavita. "You have a name, right?"
"Y-yeah," she stammered out. Was Bronte being... supportive? She felt like she shouldn't have been so surprised, but she was still getting used to acceptance.
"Well, what is it?" he demanded.
"Kavita."
"Kavita," he repeated.
She nodded. "And... I would prefer if you didn't tell the rest of the Council."
"Why would I do that?" He seemed perplexed. "I have secrets of my own, you know."
She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Like what?"
"That's... none of your business."
"Alright," she mumbled.
Bronte looked back and forth between the two of them. "You weren't making out in here, were you?"
"No!" Oralie exclaimed, her face getting red. Kavita was too shocked to speak. She just stared at Bronte.
Bronte turned to leave. "Oh, and Kavita?"
She blinked at the sound of her name.
"You look nice," he said quietly before walking out.
Kavita inhaled sharply.
== Chapter Two ==
[TWs: d/ath(?), b/rns, fire, k/dnapp/ng, bl//d, if I'm missing anything, please tell me]
=== Kavita's POV ===
Not too many days after that, Sophie was to heal Fintan's mind at Oblivimyre.
The morning before the healing, Kavita was feeling bold. She kissed Oralie.
Apparently, that was a very stupid thing to do. Ora shouted at her and called her by her not-quite-dead-but-dying name.
Later that afternoon, Bronte, Oralie, Alden, and Kavita all watched anxiously as Sophie and Fitz entered Fintan's mind.
When Sophie left his mind again, they began debating the state and stability of the ancient arsonist's mind. As they entered his mind again, the last thing Kavita remembered seeing was Oralie's face and a huge wall of Everblaze.
=== Oralie's POV ===
"KAVITA!!!"
Where was she? How had they gotten separated? They were standing near each other mere seconds ago. She couldn't be gone. Oralie would search everywhere if she had to. Every pile of molten hot jewels and rubble was picked apart, and yet... no Kavita. She looked around wildly. She saw someone through the smoke and ran toward them.
The figure was wobbling toward her, coughing. It was Bronte.
"Bronte!" She's never been happier to see him in her life. She hugged him and helped him away from the rubble and fire. "Did you see Kavita? Where is she? Is she still in there?" She looked wearily at the teetering remains of the emerald building.
Bronte furrowed his eyebrows. "Oralie," he mumbled.
She looked at him expectantly.
He shook his head, looking away.
Oralie's stomach dropped.
"I'm so sorry, Oralie."
Anything else that Bronte was saying was now non-existent. The world melted away. Oralie felt numb. Everywhere was numb.
Bronte said something else, but she didn't care. She felt someone place a hand on her shoulder.
She felt a scream bubbling out of her. She didn't have the energy to hold it in, so she let it go. She didn't know how long or loud the scream was, but eventually, the screams turned into sobs, and her throat was raw.
She felt someone's arms around her and leaned against them, crying. When the world solidified again, she realized she was on the ground, and Bronte was hugging her.
Numb. Numb. Numb. Numb.
=== Kavita's POV ===
Being on fire isn't the best experience. In fact, it was one of Kavita's worst fear ever since her sister had died in an explosion. She passed out right when the fire touched her. The next thing she remembered was rocks. The feeling of them on her hands. She was lying on the ground. The rocky ground was pressed against her hands. Her hands were raw and bleeding. Not the most pleasant feeling to have right when you wake up. Kavita panicked. How long was I asleep? She tried to sit up but only succeeded in screaming in pain. Apparently, there were burns all over her. Mostly the front-half and left side of her body. She heard someone snort-laugh. Odd... she could've sworn she'd heard that snorty laugh before...
"Good morning, sleepyhead," a masculine voice said. A face popped into view. Fintan Pyren. He had light burn marks on his neck, but other than that, he seemed to be mostly unscathed. Lucky.
He smiled.
Kavita tried to sit up again, making sure to be more conscious of the burns covering her. She winced and looked at him.
He gathered up a few orange-yellow sparks in the palm of his hand.
She glared at him, terrified but not wanting to show it.
He studied his small collection of sparks as he spoke. "I had Gethen search your mind while you were unconscious. You have some rather interesting secrets, Councillor Kavita."
She didn't flinch.
Fintan held the sparks closer, and she quickly scooted back, her raw hands scraping against the rocky ground.
Wait, why was the ground all rocky?
She looked around. There was nothing but darkness as far as she could see. A long tunnel of shadows and rocks.
Fintan pulled his eyes away from the sparks and looked at her. "I don't think I'm going to kill you yet," he said thoughtfully.
She swallowed. Yet. Small word. Big meaning.
He leaned back. "Needless to say, your mind was difficult to probe. At least, that's what my telepath told me. We'll find a way to get more information out of you, though."
She looked down. "Because the Neverseen always finds a way to get things out of me," she whispered.
Fintan laughed. "You were the one who tried to help us in the beginning."
"That was before I found out you were murderers."
"Whether you like it or not, you're still one of us. Therefore, you still have to carry out missions for me and do what I say. You do want to avenge your sister, don't you?"
Kavita flinched. He had no right to talk about her sister.
He looked at her curiously. "Of course you do. You loved your sister. In fact, you love her so much that you named yourself after her. Kavita. Such a pretty name, isn't it?"
She didn't speak. Couldn't speak. Her jaw tightened.
"She was very pretty, wasn't she?" he continued.
"Shut up," she hissed through clenched teeth.
"She was an amazing technopath. She created things no other elf could possibly imagine."
She felt her eyes filling with tears.
He stood up. "You look a lot like her, you know. Believe it or not, I miss her, too."
"I know you do," she choked out, wiping her eyes.
He pulled out a leaping crystal. It was a weird mix of white and pink. "Have fun trying to escape."
She looked away, wiping some of the blood that was still caked on her scratched-up hands. "I have a feeling there's no way to escape without a crystal," she said quietly.
The only response was a laugh. It echoed down the tunnel.
When she looked up again, Fintan was gone.
His laugh echoed echoed echoed.
== Chapter Three ==
[TWs: b/rns, bl/od, gender d/sphoria]
=== Kavita's POV ===
A day passed. Maybe two. Kavita couldn't tell. There wasn't much light in the tunnel. She'd tried walking down it, but she always ended up going in a circle. One huge, circular tunnel of rock. But that couldn't be possible... there was always a little bit of light... how else had Fintan light-leapt away?
She woke up, the rocks from the ground making imprints on her arms and shoulders. Fresh burns had bubbled up on her neck and arms. Fintan. She covered her face with her hands and cried.
It took her a few moments to realize that a person was saying her name. A man's voice. Not Fintan's, though. It was too soft to be Fintan's. She looked up.
"Kavita?" the man said again. He had long, sandy brown hair pulled into a messy bun and a short beard. He also looked as if he hadn't slept in a very long time...
"Wh-who are you?"
He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I'm Trix. I'm... going to help you escape."
He looked terrified like he couldn't believe he was doing this. Kavita squinted at him. "Why? What do you want from me?"
"Nothing... I just... I c-can't do this anymore."
She furrowed her eyebrows, watching him run a hand down his face. "Do what?"
"The Neverseen," he replied simply.
How was she supposed to believe that? Why would this random man she didn't even know be risking his job (and his life) to help her? "Are you with the Black Swan?"
"No, I'm just... with myself, I suppose."
"Why are you doing this?"
He bit his lip and looked down at the ground. There was a splatter of blood stained to the rocks. He stared at it for a long time. "I can't. I can't hurt people anymore. The screams..." He shivered. "I can't. I have to help you. I'd never forgiven myself if I didn't. After all this, Fintan is just going to kill you. You know that, right?"
She searched his eyes. This man... Trix... seemed very sincere.
"Search my mind if you want, I don't care. You might find some horrible things, but-"
"I'm not going to search your mind. I believe you," Kavita said quietly.
He nodded shakily. "So... Councillor Kavita... are you ready to get out of here?"
She made a noise between a sigh, a laugh, and a cry. "Y-yes..." She quietly noticed that he'd used the correct name. Fintan must have told the rest of the Neverseen...
He pulled out a white and pink light-leaping crystal.
Kavita tried to get to her feet, but it was way too painful. Her entire body ached, and she yelped, sitting back down again.
Trix knelt down beside her and reached for her hand. Then he hesitated and gently took her wrist instead, noticing that her hands were raw.
He leapt the two of them away.
They appeared in front of a house. It was tiny, and trees were surrounding them. A log cabin? Kavita looked around. "What... where are we?"'''
"The Forbidden Cities. This is my house..."
She blinked.
"If you... need me to carry you, I will."
She nodded hesitantly. If she tried to walk, she would most likely collapse.
He carefully put his arms under her and lifted her up. They were about the same size, and Trix looked like he was struggling a bit.
He wouldn't be struggling if he were picking up someone like Oralie, she thought. Someone like Oralie... Kavita could only dream.
He successfully brought her into the house and set her on a dark blue couch. Kavita yelped.
Trix winced. "I'm sorry, I'll go get some, uh... bandages. And elixirs... and Youth Bottles." He hurried away, pulling his cape off and tossing it on the floor.
Kavita stared at the ceiling. Everyone is probably worried about me. Wondering where I am.
=== Oralie's POV ===
"Alina?" Oralie's voice was barely audible.
Bronte winced. "Yes. Alina..."
"I... can't believe they're just... replacing..." She trailed off, her eyes filled with tears. She still couldn't say his name. Her name. Whatever. Pronouns were irrelevant right now. The person she loved was... gone.
Bronte looked away. "Me neither. Maybe she's not that bad."
Oralie snorted. "Yeah m-maybe..."
"Do you need another hug?" he asked quietly.
Oralie sniffled and leaned against him. He hugged her.
=== Kavita's POV ===
After Trix had helped Kavita and cleaned up her injuries enough to a point where she was able to limp around the house, he gave her permission to explore the house. She ended up just going from room to room, and she found some interesting things. Testosterone shots, binders, an old box of dresses and woman's clothes, and a whole bunch of human things. Trix was trans? Despite everything, Kavita found herself smiling a little.
Trix came into the room, holding a yellow tunic and a pair of pants. He looked back and forth between her and the tunic. "I have a feeling yellow is your colour."
He handed her the clothes. She blinked. "Thank you."
"No problem. The bathroom is down the hall to the left. You should... shower. Um, make sure the water isn't too hot. It'll irritate the burns." He scratched the back of his head, looking down. "Oh, look, my old binders..."
"I'm sorry if you didn't want me to see this stuff."
"No, it's fine," he assured her. "It's... not like you're going to be transphobic or anything."
She smiled a little, looking down at the clothes in her arms. "I'm not," she agreed.
He nodded. "So... Kavita, huh? That's a nice name."
"Thank you." But now, she was curious. "What's your name?"
He seemed surprised. "My name?"
"Yes, your name."
He blinked. "Tristan."
"That's... a human name," she pointed out slowly.
He nodded. "I've been living around humans all my life... I really like the name."
"Can I call you Tristan? Or do I have to call you Trix?"
"Call me whatever you want," he mumbled.
"Okay... well, thank you for helping me, Tristan."
He nodded again and walked away. Kavita made her way to the bathroom.
Once again, mirrors were her greatest enemy. She was about ready to stuff socks in her shirt to make it look like she had a chest. It wasn't fair. She found a headband and carefully tucked it in her hair. Crossed her arms over her chest. Uncrossed them. Glared at the mirror. Tried on the pants. They didn't fit. She sat down and cried.'''
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. "Kavita?" Tristan called.
"D-don't come in." She sniffled. "The pants don't fit," she added quietly.
Silence. A few moments later, there was another knock. "I set a new pair outside the door for you."
"Thanks," she whispered.
She waited a few moments before opening the door and pulling the new pair of pants inside the bathroom.
They fit a lot better.
She sniffled and looked in the mirror. Stupid mirror. Stupid body. Stupid hair. Stupid, stupid, stupid...
Another knock. "Come in," Kavita mumbled.
The door opened. Tristan didn't say anything; he just gave her a gentle hug.
She blinked and hugged back.
There was a long silence. "Where did you get the... uh, the testosterone shots. Elves don't have those..."
"Humans do."
"And... you don't wear binders anymore?"
"Surgery."
She was suddenly very jealous of humans.
"Could... could I do that too? The shots? But estrogen instead?" she asked.
"You could... but it takes a while."
"How long?"
"Usually two to five years for the whole transition. Maybe longer?"
Years? Only a few more years of looking like... this?
There was another long silence.
Tristan stood up. "Well. The Council is probably worried about you. I'll make us some dinner, and then you should leave."
She nodded slowly, thinking.
Category:Fanfics
Category:Ongoing Fanfics