Quotes/Tomb of the Bloody Baron

== Session 1 ==
;He has a point
:Narrator: Shortly after Singeon and Mrugnak met up, Thog was chased out of town by the guard. With great sorrow, the delvers agreed to meet him outside of town in 3 days. In the meantime, Sithis wrote a garbled note about stealing the books and returning to the monastery. Beltarne left for the dwarven lands. Arganyev claimed to have been granted a holy vision, and departed to do the work of Tyrandor.
:Singeon: more cast changes than Law and Order
;New friends
:Berkun: Berkun prepares his bow, it's instinctive for him to do so every time something seems suspicious
:Lenia: He and Singeon should get along well. :P
;Perception versus reality
:GM: [The Ettin] would have started attacking as soon as you drew your bow to the ready position.
:Berkun: but I am hidden!
:GM: No, you think you're hidden.
:Berkun: oh!
;Mrugnak disagrees with the theory of relativity
:Ochley and Leyoch (the 25 foot tall Ettin): "Smash yous little man!"
:Mrugnak (9 foot tall Minotaur): "Mrugnak not little! Mrugnak big!"
:Mrugnak: "You guy... guys... thing... bigger, but Mrugnak big!"
;Descriptive, not poetic
:GM: [The Ettin's] skin is like scale armor, his hide boots are like thick hide boots. One of your blades scratches him, the other raises a welt on his skin.
;Explanations
:Mordreona: Are we using - to dx =to damage taken that round and the next?
:GM: Mordreona, what?
:Lenia: Mordreona - shock penalties apply to rolls made on the round after you take damage, up to -4 for 4 or more damage. High Pain Threshold negates 
:Mrugnak: It's capped at -4 sadly.
:GM: and it's divided by HP/10, so you need to do a lot of damage to generate shock. fortunately, you have...
:Lenia: Low Pain Threshold doubles it. At least one party member has this, so try to not let her get hurt. She whines a lot. >.>
:Mordreona: lol, I will see what I can do.
;The GM speaks the plain truth.
:GM: Mordreona - did you All-out attack last turn?
:Mordreona: yes
:GM: Sucks to be you, I'm afraid.
:GM: you take 25 damage and unbelievable pain.
;Typos
:GM: so not a critical... your arrow cuts into his neck. well, one of them. probably Ochley's but maybe Leyoch's.
:GM (a minute or so later): I redid the math, and Berkun's shot was a critical.
:GM: When I said you hit Ochley's (or maybe Leyoch's) neck, what I meant was "your arrow slices into his skin and catches his jugular, neatly severing it. The head lolls, unconscious, as a rain of blood covers Morderona."
:GM: Stupid typos.
:Lenia: A common mistake.
:Lenia: The keys are right next to each other.
;Practical
:Berkun (responding to his critical hit): well, this is great...!
:Singeon: BOOYEAH!
:Singeon: Excellent shot, mate!
:Mrugnak: He's got a spare neck guys :D
;It's a skit
:Mordreona: "I SAY WE SKIN THE FELLOW"
:Berkun: "Lady, it would take DAYS! And such skin is hardly worth much"
:Mordreona: "not for the big guy."
:Berkun: Berkun considers the suggestions with all seriousness, but still shakes his head
:Mordreona: I try to talk Mrugnak into skinning it for me using fast talk.
:Mrugnak: "Dat gonna be stinky skin."
:GM: That'd be hard. roll it, Mordreona. Mrugnak, roll resistance.
:Mordreona: Fast-Talk... less Success! by 2 Conditional: +1 from 'Charisma' when making Influence rolls
:Mrugnak: Will? Does my Gullibility get me problems? :D
:GM: Yes. you're at -4, need to succeed by 4. GFL.
:Mordreona: "Come on, you will do it for me won't ya?"
:Mrugnak: Hee hee
:Mrugnak: Will... Critical Failure! by 10
:Mrugnak: BWAHAHAHA
:Mrugnak dies laughing
:GM: You think skinning the Ettin for the frail little lady is the best idea ever. So, what's your surgery skill again?
:Mrugnak None whatsoever!
;Berkun shows wisdom
:Mrugnak is skinning the dead Ettin.
:Berkun: "Waste... If you want good skin, we should go hunt a bufallo or a bu... nevermind."
;Berkun avoids wisdom
:Berkun: yeah, but I rather not carry anything.
:GM: You guys do understand that the mule was not brought along as bait for Ettins, right?
:Mrugnak: Mule for carrying stuff!
:Berkun: well sure, but we might theoretically leave the mule at certain point...
:Mrugnak: That's what hirelings are for. Mule watching.
:Berkun: and there's no guarantee the mule will be back when we come back
:Mrugnak: Hirelings.
:Berkun: and the hirelings might not survive something, etc.
;Laws of the land
:GM: There's a GM's guarantee that hirelings will not get eaten as long as the delvers defend them against random encounters.
:Mrugnak: I'm guessing using them as trap detectors is also wrong? 
:GM: yes.
:Mordreona: why?
:GM: They'll refuse, leave, report you to the Guild... then you can't get into Polisberg and starve in the wilderness/never get to sell your loot. depending on which fate is worse.
:Berkun: Even the mule?
:GM: You can use the mule as a trap detector... if you can convince it into a delve site. See "mule, stubborn as a"
:Berkun: argh, we better not mess with the hireling&mule union
:GM: Oh, and Ricka will be unhappy with you, but she's just a groom and doesn't have nearly as good a Guild.
:Lenia: We are not using my mule or my hirelings as trap detectors.
:Lenia: See 'Nymph, stubborn as a' as well as 'persuasive as a' as well as 'attractive as a'. We get multiple entries.
== Session 3 == 
;Singeon talks to manticores
:Singeon: "Take me, creatures."
:Mordreona: "I don't think they're listening!"
;You can always make assumptions. Doesn't make them true.
:Singeon: I assume they will run out of tail attacks, right?
:GM: Sure, you assume that. You can do that.
;Vision issues
:Lenia: I can't find the manticores on the map at all.
:Lenia: Oh, there they are.
:Mrugnak: Can you put a yellow aura on them or something? They blend in.
:GM: They're red and black against a green background. What the hell?
;Don't stand in front of crashing manticores
:Narrator: Mrugnak's lucky axe throw jolts the beast around, and it loses control and starts to crash.
:Berkun: great!
:GM: Have you looked at it's flight path?
;Some thing is just not right
:Mrugnak: Lenia is badly wounded. How much does she weigh?
:GM: 170 lbs including all possible gear.
:Mrugnak: then, when we get going, Mrugnak picks up Lenia (and all her bags). This brings him down to Heavy Encumbrance, and a mere move of 6.
:GM: Which is as fast as Lenia walks normally anyway...
;Responses to robbery
:Berkun: After a while, Berkun curses under his breath. Then he curses again. Finally, he's cursing all the time.
:Mrugnak: It's a chorus. Mrugnak is providing a bass line in Barbarian.
;She has a point
:Lenia: So far, Diplomacy attempts have resulted in a fight with a giant and a massive cash loss for the party. New rule: Kill everything that moves, take its stuff.
;Caution
:GM: The retainers, for what it's worth, are heading back to set up camp on a hilltop about 1/2 mile away. When they get away from a trap, they get away from a trap.
== Session 4 ==
;Short attention span theater
:Narrator: As you move down the corridor, you can barely make out a room at the end of the hall. The walls are painted with scenes of battle and victory from the Baron's life. A stone bier supports a stone coffin; gold, jade, and silver glints reflect in your lights.
:Minutes later
:Singeon: Is that a coffin or something ahead?
:GM: Yes, Singeon, that would the stone coffin on the stone bier mentioned earlier.
;Responses
:Narrator: With a ratcheting clunk, a portcullis drops from the ceiling behind you, sealing the corridor. Two hidden doors swing back, creating a T-intersection by the portcullis. From somewhere in those newly open corridors, you can hear voices raised in blood-curdling screams. Those same voices echo off the walls of the crypt ahead of you.
:Singeon: "Cool."
:Mordreona: "Crap"
:Lenia begins cursing in Nymphish.
;Lenia demonstrates the utility of Air-Walk
:Lenia (walking 3 yards over a bunch of Doomchildren): Because honestly, I am totally above this whole 'knife-wielding child' problem.
;Sarcasm
:Narrator: Singeon's blade carves through the creature, fire following his blade. The dying thing screams, and explodes!
:Singeon: "did the narrator just say 'explodes????"
:Mrugnak nods cheerfully.
:Lenia: "Yes. Remarkable. Just like you were warned repeatedly by multiple members of the party."
:Lenia: "Astonishing, truly."
:Singeon: I thought they were crazy, they didn't 'splode before!!!"
;Common sense
:Berkun: um, my arrow exploded?
:GM: Well.. it was in the neck of an exploding Doomchild next to an exploding doomchild in the vicinity of 2 other exploding doomchildren. it was just a pointed stick - it's gone!
;Infighting
:Singeon: Singeon covers his mouth and makes a high pitched voice like someone else is talking, "Good job, Singeon. You are awesome!"
:Berkun: "Bad for you you didn't hear what Lenia said! Those THINGS explode."
:Lenia: gives Singeon a look. "I warned you to stay clear because they exploded. You ran in and started carving them up, and Mordreona nearly got killed. 'Awesome' is a word, but I don't think it means what you think it means."
;Disappointment
:Narrator: With a grunt, Mrugnak pries the lid off the coffin and slides it aside. Inside, the coffin is bare, unfinished stone, completely empty.
:Mrugnak: "... Dat boring."
:Lenia: "False tomb?"
:Singeon: "Same thing happened to Sir Geraldo."
;A new way to interact with the narrator
:Mrugnak: Silver etc is looted. Adventurers leave, battered.
:Lenia: Mrugnak's applying for the Narrator job now?
:Mrugnak: An den, an den, an den dey smash der lil' guys, and der guys go BOOM an' der were no moneys.
;An exchange so strange...
:Berkun: "Better trick would be to build many tombs... scatter them..."
:Singeon: "Hundreds? More?"
:Berkun: "No, just a few. Few visible ones. The real one best hidden."
:Singeon: "There must be a way to find that one. None of the fakes would have a clue."
:Mrugnak: "That lotta digging."
:Mordreona: "That is why we do not want to miss the real one. we cleared this place. We should make sure it is empty."
:Singeon: "The real one is better hidden, I bet, so you see the fakes first. Like a campflage, or camouflage, as it is sometimes called."
:Singeon: "It like the old riddle, where do you hide a tree? in a forest."
:Mrugnak: "Mrugnak know cammo. Dat not cammo, dat like... um... eggs."
:Singeon: "Eggs?"
:Mrugnak: "Eggs!"
:Lenia: "Anyway - the reason building the real tomb near a false one is clever is because most groups, upon finding a false tomb, would start looking elsewhere. Either way, camp. Rest. Fix Singeon's hand." She looks at Mrugnak. "Eggs?"
:Mordreona: "I could eat."
:Singeon: "Right! Eggs! Huh?"
:There is a pregnant pause.
:Mrugnak: "It like, der berd got lotta eggs, ya?"
:GM: GM loses it
:Lenia: Loses it angry, or loses it laughing? >.>
:Mrugnak: "So den snake eat some egg, rat eat some egg, men take some egg... but berd still got more eggs in nest."
:Mrugnak: "An den der little birdies!"
:GM: can't type, laughing
:Mordreona: "Good we should have a rest and eat, while I look this place over good."
:Lenia: Good work, Mrugnak. You broke the GM.
;She describes it exactly.
:Mrugnak: "Eggs!" Emily watches as all the typing indicators suddenly stop. And then there's a flurry of mad typing.
== Session 5 ==
;Why are we listening to the stupidest member of the band?
:Mordreona: "I hate rats, fiendish rats are the worst."
:Mrugnak: "Rust rats! Dey eat weapons! Youse got to punch them!"
:Mordreona: "No poison."
:Lenia: "Poisonous, yes. Weapon-eating, no. Honestly, everyone thinks they're an expert."
:GM: Okay, any questions before we begin?
:Berkun: Yes, assuming I'd use my manticore spike as an improvised weapon, what would the stats be?
:Delvers proceed to use kicks and punches to fight the rats.
:GM (whispering to Lenia): There is something wrong with your comrades when they believe Mrugnak over you.
;Too many rats make things difficult
:GM: Between the rat in the way and the other rat in the way, you can't punch the rat in the way. but you do get out a knife.
;Things are a little confusing
:Berkun: determined kick at the rat on me
:GM: How are you kicking a rat that is biting your shoulder?
:Lenia: Secretly an Elder Spawn.
;Seriously, Mrugnak is not too bright
:Berkun: "Anyone who got bitten, check if the wound is getting green... or blue... or any other weird colour"
:Mrugnak: "My wounds are... dere kinda orange-brownish with lots of red."
:Berkun: "Red is blood Mrugnak, your people bleed red."
:Mrugnak: "Oh right."
;Not that the average IQ of the band is all that high
:Narrator: As Berkun pours the potion on her, some of Lenia's wounds heal, though she still has a greenish tinge.
:Berkun: When she opens her eyes, he covers her mouth. "Don't spit it out!"
:Lenia: "Mmph Mrph!"
:Berkun: "Once it defeats the poison in you, once you feel bile in your mouth, then spit!"
:Lenia: ...
:GM: She bites your hand, hard.
:Berkun: Jumps away. "Oh no! It's too late for her! She's going to turn into one of them!"
:Lenia: "For the love of -- They don't work that way." She sits up.
:Berkun pales as he reaches for his bow...
:Berkun: "You just bit me!"
:Lenia: "You had your HAND covering my MOUTH."
;More forgaing
:Mordreona: "god I hate rats"
:Mrugnak: "Dey good eatin, Mordy. Mrugnak take yours if you don't wants them."
;Singeon demonstrates foolhardiness
:Mrugnak: "Mrugnak protect Len-ee and Mordy!"
:Singeon: "we all left her to be eaten alive."
:Mrugnak: "Mrugnak not leave her!"
:Mrugnak: "You calling Mrugnak coward, little man?"
:Singeon: "Except for you running off like a little girl, no, I don't think you are a coward."
:Mrugnak: "Mrugnak not run. And not like little girl."
:Lenia: ...Did he just call the bad-tempered nine-foot-tall berserker a cowardly little girl?
;Mordreona demonstrates discretion. Lenia demonstrates leadership.
:Mrugnak: "He want to fight! Mrugnak ready and he ready! He say let's go, Mrugnak ready to go!"
:Singeon: "You wanna play Mrugnuk, I am ready. Let's play."
:Berkun: "No, it's the bites... they make you feel angry like that... They make you think like the rats..."
:Singeon: "Its not the bites. i always feel angry like this!"
:Berkun: "You don't... your mind is clouded..."
:Mordreona: fumbles with the door. Yells "CRAP" and runs out.
:Lenia: "I have been impaled. I have been bitten, climbed on, chewed on, driven to unconsciousness, and woken up with the foulest taste in my mouth since that night I graduated Wizards' College. I have walked across HALF OF THE BLOODY WESTMARCH to find this tomb, we are NOT going to KILL EACH OTHER at the DOOR. WEAPONS. DOWN. NOW. Or I will get ANGRY."
;Lots of discretion.
:GM: With a quiet click, the last tumbler drops and the door is unlocked.
:Singeon: "Good job!"
:Mordreona: pulls it open.
:Berkun: peers inside impatiently
:Narrator: The door opens into a small, square room. Six skeletons in rusted plate stand before you, then bring their swords and shields to the ready. Behind them is another ironbound door.
:GM: Hey, what are folks doing?
:Mordreona: pulls the door shut.
;Yet another episode of short attention span theatre.
:Mordreona: I do not see the room on the map.
:Singeon: I can't see in there
:Lenia: That's because the door got closed.
;Lenia gets offended.
:Narrator: Lenia runs around the skeleton, her staff crackling with lightning. Then she winds up and forcibly slams into it. The armor melts into white hot slag and the bones fly apart, collapsing into an untidy pile at the nymph's feet.
:Lenia is muttering under her breath. "Oh yeah. 'Protect' the 'helpless little Nymph'. Mighty. Wizard. Mystic arts. There's your protection right there."
:Violence ensues.
:Narrator: The skeleton collapses into a pile.
:GM: There is silence in the room.
:Lenia inspects the end of her staff critically, then shrugs. "Well, I feel *much* better." She gives the other delvers a cheery smile. "Onward?"
== Session 6 ==
;Modesty
:Singeon: "It is a trifling wound, nothing to someone of my skill."
:Lenia: "Singeon, you said that about a severed hand."
:Singeon: "Well, it is true."
;Humility
:Berkun: "Singeon, I'm throwing a petard inside, so be wise and move back!"
:Singeon: "I'll dodge it!"
:Berkun: "I mean the whole will burn, if I'll score a good hit!"
;Some people just don't appreciate the avant-garde
:Zombie: "Lungs! Lungs! Luu-uun-nngs!" The zombies shuffle forward.
:Mordreona: "By the gods I hate Zombies more than rats."
:Berkun: "A most terrible fate!"
:Lenia: "Am I the only one here with any respect for tradition? It's supposed to be BRAINS, you undead dolts!"
:Singeon: "Don't get so angry, dear Lenia. They'll fall before my blade, imbeciles or not."
;Don't shoot your allies!
:Berkun: will Mrugnak/Mordreona make it harder to hit?
:GM: If you step up, you can shoot over Mordreona's shoulder and not shoot her in the back.
:Mrugnak: Mrugnak, however, makes a better wall than door.
;Some things are best avoided
:Zombie: Zombie 8 moves on the ice and falls over
:Lenia: I love this spell.
:Zombie: Zombie 9 moves on the ice and falls over
:Zombie: Zombie 7 moves on the ice and falls over
:Zombie: Zombie 11 moves on the ice and falls over
:Mrugnak: Yes. [Iceslick] is awesome.
:GM: Does anyone want to play out this particular set of keystone capers, or can we assume you can kill 4 horde zombies that are pretty much permanently prone?
:Narrator: The magical ice slick drops the zombies to their hands and knees. Singeon, Mrugnak, and Berkun proceed to dismember them while they try to stand.
;An epic rivalry
:Lenia: "I thought I told you to stop obsessing over Mrugnak's phallus, Singeon."
:Singeon: "Ha! You are a funny lady, displacing like that, Lenia."
:Mrugnak stops looking cranky long enough to look utterly confused, but after Singeon speaks he goes back to looking cranky again.
;Mrugnak is challenged by some things
:Mordreona: "One sec guys, I allmost have it." Mordreona tries again to pick the lock and succeeds.
:Narrator: With a click, the lock opens.
:Mordreona steps back and looks at Mrugnak.
:Mrugnak strides confidently up to the door, weapons at the ready, and then stares at the handle for a second, then at his hands, which are both full of weapons.
:Lenia: "..."
:Lenia: "Singeon, open the door please?"
:Singeon: "My hand is full, also."
:Mrugnak drops his trusty axe on the chain lanyard, and opens the door with his left hand. It's a puzzle, but not one that's COMPLETELY beyond him.
;Design issues.
:Emily: 13 fatigue base, 7 spent, recovers 1 point every 5 minutes thanks to Fit, so a 30 minute rest...
:Emily: That's perfect for me :D
:Mark: I don't have Fit on Mrugnak's advantages.
:Emily: That's odd.
:Mrugnak: I do.
:Emily: I thought?
:Mrugnak: ...
:Mrugnak: Why don't I have Fit?
:Emily pokes Mrugnak.
:Emily: You.
:Kevin: Fit of insanity?
:Emily: Fit of "meant to buy that" apparently. :P
:Mark: It's not on the PDF on the Wiki.
:Emily: Gottdamnit I put it on him every time I build him.
== Session 7 ==
;Singeon's unique viewpoint
:Mark: Just to review, last week Singeon single-handedly (literally) defeated an entire horde of horde zombies. Then he assisted Mordreona in finding a fiendishly concealed trap door in the next room.
:Lenia looks for 'Delusions' on Singeon's character sheet.
:Mark: And pointed out that walls in the room were weird, leading Lenia to deduce they were false. He left Mrugnak to the dirty brute force of making a hole in the wall, of course. And he did it all with his usual flair, elan, charm, grace, style, wit, and panache.
:Mrugnak: Lenia: it's spelt Overconfident.
:Lenia: ...Is he actually delusional?
:Mrugnak: So yes.
:Mark: Oh, and his was especially charming to Lenia and Mordreona, again as usual.
:Mrugnak: And Mrugnak.
:Lenia: Because that would make EVERYTHING make so much more sense.
:Mark: Some people are obviously under some kind of spell or compulsion to not see his greatness. It's part of the plot against him.
:Mark: And Mrugnak?
:Mrugnak: He was especially charming to Mrugnak, as usual.
:Mark: No, I believe he said something to the effect that although he (Singeon) could pick through the wall, it was better left to the brute's talents.
:Mark: But he is charismatic so maybe it was charming.
:Mrugnak: I seem to recall a lot of helpful back-seat driving when it came to knocking down the false door.
:Singeon: I better read that text log. Who knows what else you did to me.
:Mark: I need to put it up, but the meetings I usually use to edit in where canceled this week. Good for me, bad for you guys.
;A common mistake
:Mrugnak: Can I use Forced Entry to estimate how much ST is needed to bust that door?
:GM: Sure... none since it's unlocked?
;It wasn't that surprising.
:Lenia: "I've got a bad feeling about this. Remember the Doomchildren from the false tomb?"
:Lenia: "...did I just say 'I have a bad feeling about this?' God, I'm turning into my father."
:Singeon: George Lucas is your dad?
:Mordreona: "Well I do too Lenia, I am sure Singeon is going to die."
:Narrator: As Mordreona moves to the central pair of doors, there is a faint click. The pressure plate she didn't see sinks under her weight, and the doors open.
:Mordreona: "Crap"
:Narrator: Pale, sickly humanoid forms move out and attack!
:Lenia: "Called it!"
;Mordreon's personality evolves
:Mordreona: "Flee in terror, yes, that would be the best course of action." 
;Even the GM makes mistakes
:Mrugnak lurches forward, moving jerkily, like a marionette with its strings half tangled, as he howls and charges, head-down, into Ghoul 7.
:GM: DX check at -7 to avoid stepping on runes.
:Mrugnak (under the effects of spell that lets him walk on air): Walk on air?
:GM: Nah, I'm just a retard. go for it!
;Some reasons are more plausible than others
:Mordreona: Fast draw a knife and throw it at ghoul 6. "Why will you people not run.?"
:Lenia: "Because running means we don't get to loot the place? Why *would* we run?"
:Berkun: "Why won't Singeon run?"
:Lenia: "Because he's an idiot."
;There's a no stalling rule in effect
:Singeon: Is Lenia on me?
:GM: Nope, next to you.
:Lenia: In your dreams. :P
:Singeon: I don't see me
:Lenia: You're under the ghoul.
:Singeon: Oh, thats romantic. Am I prone?
:GM: No, he's in close combat with you, like I said.
:Lenia: Trust me, the ghoul loves you more than I do.
:Singeon: I turn and attack him, in close combat
:Singeon turns, stepping on a Frostbite rune in a manner likely to kill him.
:Singeon: 2 minutes to luck. HOLD ON TWO MINUTES!!!!! BRB!
:GM: stop stalling and start dying.
;The GM really did look it up
:Lenia: Oh hell. Heal Singeon or stop Mrugnak.
:Lenia: Body of Air on Mrugnak.
:GM: Oh, GFL.
:Mrugnak: BWAHAHAHA. HOW much FP is that?
:Berkun: "What is he doing? What!? STOP!"
:Singeon: "Do what you have to. Save my friend."
:GM: 7 FP. Takes 5 seconds to cast, though.
:Lenia: Oh, SOB. I just noticed that myself.
:Lenia: New plan.
:GM: 'Cause Steve Jackson hates you.
:GM: okay - brb - gotta check something.
:GM: By the way, I checked my copy of Fantasy 1st edition. It says, "Steve Jackson hates you."
;Don't encourage the GM. Or accept his advice, really.
:Mrugnak (advising Singeon on how to avoid the beserk Minotaur): Falling over and playing dead is a good plan, for reference. Like with a bear. He PROBABLY won't keep goring you.
:GM: Yeah, do *that*!
:Mrugnak: It's only 1d6. Compared to Mrugnak?
:Lenia: Let's just ROLL on the frostbite runes!
:GM: Even better!!!
;Everyone has to argue with the narrator
:GM: And Singeon and Mrugnak are lying on the floor, freezing to death at high speed.
:Mrugnak: And on an ice slick!
:Mrugnak: psh. I'm freezing to death at a LOW speed.
;There's an aesthetic reason
:GM: So [Singeon is] not quite dead.
:GM: but unconscious, definitely.
:GM: And soon to be "Singeon One-Hand and 8 Toes."
:Lenia: 8 toes? Generous.
:GM: I like him being able to count to 13.
;Not every retreat goes off without incident
:GM (whispering to Mordreona and Lenia): You notice that the skeletal remains are no longer on the floor of the hallway. 
:Lenia: "Erm. What happened to the skeletons?"
:Mordreona: "Yikes they are gone, let's get the hell out of here." Turns to exit.
:GM: You're headed that way already.
:GM: As you move up, you see the skeletons have reassembled and are turning toward you to fight.
;We are experiencing communication issues
:Lenia: "EVERYONE BACK. NOW."
:Mordreona runs for the exit.
:Lenia: "...That's not *back*!"
:Mordreona: I also scream like a little girl.
;In their defense, they argue with each other, too
:Singeon: "Gosh! You deserved that!"
:Lenia: "...Gosh?"
:Singeon: Fill in your own curse word
:Lenia: "Seriously, you swear like a halfling, not a sailor."
== Session 8 ==
;Do try to keep up with current events
:GM (whispering to Berkun): Singeon's blood, spreading in a pool in front of Mrugnak, is turning black.
:Berkun shouting: "Singeon!"
:GM: Singeon does not respond, being dead and all.
:Berkun: I mean more of a way to point others at him being in really bad shape
:Mrugnak: He's dead. I think we're more or less aware of that. :D
;Things start to get much worse
:Narrator: The pool of Singeon's life blood is turning black, darkening from the outer edge into towards his neck. As the inky blackness reaches his skin, his body jerks upright. Shiny black energy covers his wounds and the light around him seems dimmer.
:Narrator: As he gets to his feet, he draws his off-hand saber, holding it in a fist of unpleasant black energy.
:Mrugnak looks over his shoulder. "GAH!"
:Berkun: "Oh no!"
:Mrugnak: He only gets to his knees, right?
:Singeon: Successfully attempt an Acrobatic stand
:Mrugnak: damn.
:Singeon: Successfully Fast-Draw both his swords.
:Mrugnak: stupid acrobatic ninja zombies.
;And keep going downhill
:Narrator: Singeon's corpse darts forward, his blade spinning and weaving.
:Singeon: Feint at Mrugnak with 1 hand, convert into a cut to the neck, while the off-hand does a defensive feint.
:Mrugnak: that's three attacks?
:GM: Yes?
:Mrugnak: That's a lot of attacks.
:GM: Yes, yes it is.
:Lenia: Rapid Strike with the main-hand, and Dual-Weapon Attack. He's a Weapon Master with effective skill 22, I have no idea why this sort of thing didn't get done more often.
:GM: Well, because you can't rapid strike and dual-weapon in the same turn.
:Mrugnak: That's why they don't get combined more often.
:GM: But there's nothing saying that the GM can't give eldritch zombies of high powered swashbucklers the Extra Attack advantage.
;A quick digression into the rules
:GM: What is 1 FP for Determined, exactly?
:Lenia: +4 to hit.
:GM: It's not in Campaigns p357 or MA p 131.
:Lenia: O.o
:Mrugnak: yeah, you have problems using extra effort for precision.
:Lenia: Em, is that an optional thing we cooked up?
:Emily: No, it's something I've denied every time you've tried it :D
;Have we hit bottom yet?
:Berkun: undead Singeon is quite dangerous
:Mrugnak: Singeon was quite dangerous alive.
:Lenia: He was just crippled by having to be flashy and impressive rather than careful and dangerous. >.>
;Apparently not
:Narrator: Mrugnak's flail slams into Singeon, shoving him back and breaking his armor. He drops his blade.
:Narrator: Black blood sheathes his right arm, and it straightens again. He grabs at his sword.
:Singeon: Successful attempt to catch his blade before it falls
:Lenia: "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me."
;The big finale
:Narrator: Lenia shrieks out a heartfelt but unintelligible prayer.
:Narrator: Discordant noise fills the tomb. A voice as deep as the grave booms out: "At last I have found you, Singeon the Despoiler. Your torment will be eternal." A huge figure, easily 100 feet tall, steps into the room and reaches down. It grabs Singeon's corpse and pulls it into the air, stuffing it into one of many mouths.
:Narrator: With an angry burst of red and black sparks, the giant figure, and Singeon's corpse, disappears.
:Lenia: "... ... ... ... An elder god really was chasing after him to torment him for a thousand years. What are the odds?"
;Odd problems
:GM: Oh: important note: all that was left behind of Singeon was his boots, and his swords.
:Lenia: This is two game sessions - for different games, mind - in a row where we've had to decide what to do with a dead man's boots.
== Session 9 ==
;There's a difference between ultimate and penultimate
:Lenia: I give Berkun all kinds of credit for coming through this entire adventure without getting critically injured, cursed, or killed.
:Mrugnak: Ranged combat baby. Stay way the hell away from the sharp things.
:GM: You think this is over? Foolish, foolish adventurer.
:Lenia: So far. This entire adventure so far.
;Don't get cocky, kid.
:Emily: I MUST NOT SAY "I have defeated your dragon! Next time, send two!"
== Session 10 ==
;Not exactly Disneyworld
:Narrator: The delvers lead Connell through the guard rooms, through a large hole in the wall, and over a series of doors laid carefully on the floor.
:Mrugnak: "Dat hurty floor. It smart."
:Narrator: Then they take him past a dark altar, full of evil energy, and thread their way through some pendulums with heavy copper cutting blades.
:Narrator: The last room has a shattered statue, strangely wearing bronze armor, lying on the floor. A dead Siege Beast lies nearby.
:Mrugnak: "Mrugnak smash dat! Smashed der stone man dat go round and round and round and round..." Mrugnak frowns darkly. "Man hurt Berkun." Mrugnak brightens up again. "But he smashed good." 
:Connell: So, Mrugnak took the Tour Guide lens? 
:Mrugnak: god help you all.
;Thief, not warrior
:Lenia: "Okay. Coinage. But that's not nearly what I expected. Anyone in favor of opening the sarcophagus?"
:Mordreona: "Why do you think I backed up? Oh, did I say that out loud?"
;Wait, thief means doing work?
:Lenia: "Mordreona! We need to get the necklace off him!"
:Mordreona: "Crap, that's my job?"
;Tactical cohesion
:Connell: steps close to the Baron, ignoring the heat as the shield blazes. He raises a hand and says, "Let's fan these flames! Winds, rage for me now!" Shape Air, blowing 10 points to make a nice blast.
:Lenia: But we have an ally in that hex as well, who's holding onto the Baron's necklace, and we'd like to not have her ripped away? Oh, I give up.
:Connell: She can hold on really hard, right? >.> 
:Berkun: you make a wall of air, I can't shoot the baron. great coordination we've got!:)
:Mrugnak: we've got co-ordination? I never noticed :D 
:Connell: I just want to knock him over so he stops swording people >.> 
:The wind wall is less a hurricane and more a stiff breeze. The Baron ignores it.
:Lenia: Congratulations, you don't even knock over Mordreona.
;The GM turns into a brat after you kill the Big Bad
:Mordreona: "what do I/we do with this necklace? [the Baron's Wraith amulet]"
:GM: You could put it on!
:Mordreona: "hmm."
:Connell: "Melt it down and make coins, and spend them in as many different places as possible?"
:Lenia: "Put it with the rest of the treasure for now. Once we get Mrugnak safely to camp we'll need to cart all of this out of here."
:Mordreona: "May I keep it?"
:GM: It's a very nice gold amulet.
:Mordreona: puts it in her pocket. 
:GM: Worth a lot of money.
:Lenia: "We can figure out its value and take it from your share. Don't put it on. I don't think you'd like the potential results."
:GM: No, it's cool! It gives you Supernatural Durability.
:GM: Best advantage ever!
:Lenia: The GM isn't helping.
:GM: Is he supposed to? Let me check...
:GM: Nope.
;Do remember your disadvantages
:Mordreona: I'm not to into treasure but I will look for secret doors etc. as much as they want me to.
:GM: You're Greedy. What do you mean, not into treasure?
== Session 11 ==
;Role-playing in a dungeon fantasy game?
:Narrator: The delvers are heading back to camp, heavily loading with gear, when Mrugnak stops.
:Mordreona: "Anyone hear a duck?"
:Connell: blinks, and looks around as well. He chuffs and glares into the bushes.
:Mrugnak: "Dumb duck."
:Mordreona: "Bandits I would guess."
:Mrugnak: frowns, confused. "Duck band it?"
:Lenia: "I think our friends have returned."
:Mrugnak: looks around for Leanne [who is on a hill about 200 yards away]. "Friend over dere."
:Berkun: "Well then it's time to finish the bussines..."
:Mrugnak: points with his chin to the northwest. "Dumb duck over dere."
:Lenia: "Please explain what you mean by 'dumb duck'?"
:Mrugnak: "Dat lost duck. Dumb. Dere no pond dis."
:Lenia: "What bloody duck?"
:Mrugnak: looks around behind the group, up the hill, taking advantage of having cattle eyes on the sides of his head to peer without falling over. Then Mrugnak sniffs at the wind. "Dat not duck. Who dat?"
:Berkun: "You saw the thieves there, yes? Or only one of them?"
:Lenia: "No, I didn't."
:Mrugnak: "Mrugnak smell guy."
:Connell: stands up, brushing grass off himself. "Duck call not native to this region. Like this, see..." he cups his hands and attempts to make an answering call.
:Berkun: "Be wary of traps. Pits, ropes, arrows, caltrops..."
:Berkun: "Like this?"
:Lenia: "Berkun - which bush?"
:Narrator: Connell quacks unconvincingly, but Berkun sounds a duck call loud and clear.
:Berkun: "No idea... I didn't get to see them..."
:Mrugnak: "You good at dat."
:Berkun: "I'll teach you how to make a duck..."
:Berkun: "But be careful right now."
:Berkun: "Someone should be guarding Mrugnak, others check out the bushes... I can keep in the middle, supporting both groups"
:Narrator: From the west, a trio of figures appear. Two woman and a very tall man, all dressed in traveling leathers and carrying weapons at the ready.
:Rachel: "I say! It looks like you've had a bad time. Turn over our treasure or face the consequences!"
:Connell: nudges Lenia, "This is where you say, 'your treasure?!'"
:Mrugnak: frowns. "Dey dem guys dat took Mrugnak gold."
:Mrugnak: frowns some more. "Now dey take Mrugnak gold 'gain."
:Rachel: "That's all you have to say?"
:Berkun: "Petty thieves, you're going to HANG!"
:Rachel: "Perhaps."
:Berkun: has little patience, but he doesn't shoot yet, wary of an attack from other sides
:Mrugnak: "You guys come here! Mrugnak smash you!"
:Lenia: leans over, keeps her voice low. "Connell, I think these are the group that rifled our bags and cut Mrugnak's purse. I'm going to pretend to negotiate, but get ready for a fight. How's your command over destructive weather?" **
:Connell: looks up at the sky, and says, "Light showers and some hail, that's about it."
:Miles: "That sounds like defiance. You gave them a chance."
:Rachel: "Indeed I did. They seem angry. We'll just have to take our gold off their bodies."
:Lenia: "Hail is good. Never mind the negotiation."
:Narrator: As Berkun pulls his bow taut, the valley explodes into violence!
;In a clutch, true friends are rare
:Narrator: Lenia screams in pain and collapses.
:Mrugnak: well. This is going to be messy.
:Mordreona: I start thinking about changing sides.
;Politely reminding the GM of the rules
:Narrator: All of you see a weaselly looking man in wizardly robes jump behind a tree as best he can, as a voice from above says "Invisibility ends with any violent act!"
:Mrugnak: BWHAHAH
:GM: So, the Sneaky Mage is standing behind a tree on the hill south of the tom entrance.
;Fantasy gaming involves weird questions
:Miles: Moves behind Berkun instead and contemplates the joys of being on fire.
:Miles: Oh, wait, there are none.
:Berkun: I do hear and smell the burning man behind me, right?
:GM: Yes, he's screaming and running and stuff.
;Thanks for the advice
:GM: Damage?
:Lenia: [4d6] = (10)
:Lenia: Luck.
:Lenia: [4d6] = (14)
:Lenia: [4d6] = (22)
:Lenia: 22 is a good number.
:Mrugnak: I like that last one.
:Mrugnak: Keep that last one.
:Sneaky Mage: Death? Success!
:Sneaky Mage: Stun? Failure! and unconscious!
:Connell: "That's my girl, unconsciousness to killing fury in one second."
:Narrator: The mage runs of out of the pelting hail and freezes solid. Then he falls over, a look of surprise almost carved on his face.
;Learn to quit when you're behind
:Lenia: Briefly consider whether Miles needs further pain, decide against, and get to my knees.
:Miles: Irritable, but not particularly phased about being on fire. All-Out attacks Lenia and Connell, stabbing their faces [but missing]
:Lenia: Cast Frostbite on Miles: Critical Success!
:Narrator: Lenia dodges Miles' spear and reaches out. As her hand touches him, his flesh turns translucent. A wave of energy flashes through his body, turning him into a perfect ice sculpture.
:Lenia: "I warned him." Stand as a step.
:Narrator: His burning clothes do not change, and he rapidly begins melting, tears dripping from his face as it loses form.
;Touching
:Connell: looks over at Lenia, "Huh. You - ah, you've gotten scary."
:Lenia: "I'm having a bad day."
:Connell: "It can still end well."
;The strengths and weaknesses of magic
:Hagan: Shoot Lenia again in the heart: Success!
:Lenia: Cast Deflect Missile: Success!
:Hagan: Damage is 6 vs DR4 as Meteoric iron ignores spells.
:Lenia: Ow.
:GM: Take 6 damage, major wound, roll HT-9 or stunned.
:Lenia: Major Wound: Failure!
:Lenia: Hey, that was a good roll.
:Lenia: I'm not unconscious.
:Narrator: Lenia confidently strides out as Hagan looses another arrow at her. She gestures but nothing happens, and her eyes widen in surprise and pain as the arrow pierces her armor and she drops to the ground.
:Connell: mutters and takes a step towards Lenia, waving his hand over her again. Casts Major Healing for 6HP again.
:GM: She's up, she's down....
;Why not chase after snipers who are sneakier than you are?
:GM: You lose sight of him (briefly) and it occurs to you he's a damned good shot too and perfectly capable of shooting you on the run.
:Berkun: riiiight... can I hear him running?
:GM: Not right this second...
:Berkun: I duck behind a tree and listen, then try to peek out
:Berkun: I don't risk a hasty pursuit otherwise
:GM: you play cat and mouse for a bit before you realize you're playing cat and mouse with a wood elf in a forest and decide to head back to the others.
== Session 12 ==
;It's a good plan!
:Mrugnak:I think the order of business today is:
::1) discover that we've captured the thief.
::2) demand immediate return of funds.
::3) have a temper tantrum when said funds are not forthcoming.
::4) sulk.
:Mark: As long as you have a plan.
;But it doesn't have to be
:Mordreona: I could use my dagger to negotiate [with the priests in Polisberg].
:Mark: Cool. Social Stigma: Criminal Record and Social Stigma: Monster.
:Mark: Have fun sleeping in the wilderness and not getting to buy stuff!
:Mark: Oh, and Social Stigma: Excommunicated if you threaten the priests. It's a trifecta.
;The Westmarches are full of strange people
:GM: The rest of you aren't sure - it's possible the mage is actually an Elder Spawn - but you're pretty certain that human necks don't work after they bend that way.
;Learn something new every day
:Mordreona: "Who cut up the dead guys?"
:Berkun: "I checked if they didn't swallow coins"
:Berkun: "They're robbers, but sometimes robbers fear other robbers..."
:Mrugnak: "Mama said don' eat coins."
:Mordreona: "A wise woman."
;Its the minor things that really bother you
:Mrugnak: goes to scratch his head and realizes he's got one broken arm and one arm busy leaning on people and things, so he frowns a lot instead.
;Mordreona is a challenge in her own right
:Mordreona: "Thanks Lenia, you're the best."
:Lenia: "Stop killing prisoners and ignoring orders. Please. Or I might decide to stop being quite so useful."
:Mordreona: "I try to be good, it's just hard and not as much fun."
:Mrugnak: snorts. "It easy not do nuffin."
;Useful distinction
:Mordreona: ah a! trap, wish we had done that.
:Connell: We walk into traps, we don't set them. That's what makes us the good g... the her... the protagonists.
;Maybe it's love
:Mrugnak: perks up. "You got Mrugnak gold? Dey took it." 
:Mordreona: "Here it is big guy." Gives Mrugnak his gold.
:Mrugnak: scoops up Mordreona with his good arm, crushing her against his chest in a lopsided hug. "YAY!" 
:Mrugnak: licks the side of her face... SLURP.
:Mordreona: "Thanks."
:Connell: eyes Mrugnak, "Huh. Interesting technique."
;I suppose so
:GM: What are people doing?
:Mrugnak: Trying to count my gold. This is going to take a lot of effort.
;More obvious observations
:Mordreona: "Can you turn into a bear and haul our stuff Connell?"
:Connell: "Not for long without ending up thinking like a bear."
:Mordreona: "I guess thats bad?"
Category:Saga of Westmarch