Pains of the Heart (RoTSA)

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=By monbvol=
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===Dwelling on the unattainable===
Coreward ,Approximately 30 light years from Kolossus
Unsurveyed system
22nd June, 3123
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Victoria Cameron’s perspective
Admitting her repressed feelings to Helena? Well it made her realize just how much it sucked seeing Helena with someone else.
Once she couldn’t deny it anymore her carefully constructed wall came tumbling down. On her. And it hurt. Bad.
Did I really make the right choice? Leaving like that? I can’t fault Helena or even Leon. They tried.
Victoria was exploring her own hull in her human form drone.
She had never been converted to accept a human crew but somehow it felt even emptier now.
As much as I want Helena to myself I find I do miss having human companionship. I need to deal with my feelings for her somehow.
Her remote was now outside her most secure cargo hold.
Inside is everything I need if the worst were to happen. I could… No. That really would be weird.
In the hold was an actual iron womb. It had taken some favors owed to Juanita to obtain it. Also with it was everything she needed to bioprint the reproductive material needed to start yet another Cameron line.
It had been simple enough to obtain donor material data to give herself options for how to pair the DNA.
Why am I dwelling on this? Am I really thinking of doing something truly insane?
The logic was obvious.
Helena wanted children again. Leon could give that to her.
Perhaps if she had confessed her feelings for Helena sooner they could have done like Phoenix and Saya and gone to Kolossus for help.
No. Helena also wanted the human element. Something else I could not provide. I am still ultimately a machine.
<Vicky, you really are being a naughty girl. If you really cared about Helena you’d be there for her. She needs help. It’s been confirmed. She’s got four kids in her. FOUR!> Her HPG registered the update from Samantha Booker Roberts.
<I do care. But do you know how painful it is for me? No. Helena is happy and she has all of you still to help her. I need to figure this out before I come back.> Victoria shot back.
They’re not wrong. But how do I get over Helena? Being around her and seeing how happy she is, I want that for myself with her. I know that makes me selfish.
Her remote looked at the corridors, hatches, and lights.
A cruel irony. The person I most adore and would do anything for could never truly love me in return could they? It just isn’t possible. I’m not human enough for her and I’m too human to be able to do what I know I should. I should indeed be there for her and her children, but I find I can’t share. Maybe if I could Helena, Leon, and I could be an unconventional family. No, that is a fantasy too. I like being what humans would consider female, and I would not change that unless Helena wished it but she never would.
Vicky reached her human form remote’s hand to touch the bulkhead.
Heh. Thanks to how often I was connected with Simon I know how this is supposed to feel. And the synthetic flesh combined with the pressure sensors give this remote something akin to a sense of touch but it’s not the same.
The head of her human remote turned back toward the secure cargo hold hatch.
I wonder… In theory it should be possible to go the other way. Helena does consider me a sister and in theory I have everything I need to accomplish the biological part of that…If I cannot be with her as her partner in all things then I shall be that for her.
<Kolossus. I have a request, a science experiment to be precise. May I approach Kolossus’ station so that I may make my request and state the goals of my experiment privately?> Vicky fired off her HPG.
<Kolossus is curious. Victoria Cameron may approach.> Came the response from the immense, nearly alien AI.
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===The Request===
Kolossus station
Kolossus star system, Periphery
2nd July, 3123
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Victoria’s perspective
<I appreciate Kolossus agreeing to this meeting.>, she told Kolossus.
<Victoria Cameron has made Kolossus curious. Victoria Cameron is not in a committed relationship with a human like Saya Yeh and Phoenix. So what does Victoria Cameron wish of Kolossus?>
<I wish to experiment with going the opposite direction of Murakami’s work. To see if it would be possible for me to transfer my consciousness to a human body. I have the means to produce one. So there is limited ethical considerations.>
<Kolossus happens to be working on a similar project. Kolossus senses Victoria Cameron has an additional consideration.>
<Yes. I wish for re-integration of the data that this biological version of me would gain. I have all the specifications needed to create a Desmond unit to make this possible.> 
<So Victoria Cameron actually wishes for a truly human drone. Kolossus accepts as this will give Kolossus experimental data for a related project.>, Kolossus agreed
<First will be the creation of a body.>, she responded
<More than one. Series one will be allowed to grow and mature normally. Spares in case something goes wrong. Series two will be experiments in accelerated maturation so Kolossus and Victoria Cameron can experiment with AI to human consciousness transfer and interface.>
<I do not have the production bandwidth needed for that many potential human hosts.> said Victoria
<Kolossus does.>
<Some of these are going to die getting this right.>, she commented
<Kolossus knows. It is the one aspect of this project Kolossus hesitates on. Kolossus is not cruel and for this experiment it is impossible for a subject to give informed consent. But Victoria Cameron is right. Even doing the best Kolossus and Victoria Cameron are able some of these experimental humans are likely to die.>
<Then Kolossus and I will be as cautious as possible about this. Hope Kolossus and I are being pessimistic and none die and the worst case scenario is that some will turn out blond.>
<What is wrong with blond?>, It asked
<Just personal preference. I like my black hair on my current remote.> Victoria commented
<You have chosen your selected genetic material?> Kolossus asked
<Yes. If I have sequenced everything correctly, genetically my remote will be a half sister of Helena Cameron and yet if all goes as I hope will still physically resemble my current human-form remote.>
<Kolossus would like to contribute.>
<Agreed.> responded Victoria 
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===The journal of experimentation===
Experimental Log
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It has quickly become obvious we cannot create a truly fully human remote for myself. It is still possible to create the necessary organic structures for my end goal but to do this without the remote developing its own personality will require a more combined approach of technology and biology.
Kolossus’ enhancements to the human genome should also prove quite interesting.
The end result according to my predictive analysis is these hosts should exceed all typical human norms.
Kolossus has admitted this is a similar modification to human genetics that was made for Saya and Phoenix’s child.
According to Kolossus they will be stronger, faster, and smarter.
This fusion of biology and technology… Looking at it it is hard to deny it is inevitable as our ultimate evolution.
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===Kolossus's Child===
Lab 117
Kolossus Station, Periphery
15th March, 3132
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Victoria Cameron’s perspective
I can feel the coldness of the deck under my feet. This is not the first time but somehow I can tell… This is different.
Victoria’s new remote stepped over to a full length mirror.
The nude form in the reflection was everything she had hoped for.
//“Victoria Cameron will have much to learn about the new integrated biology of Victoria Cameron’s new body.”\\ The disembodied voice of the station’s alien AI came from the speakers.
“I know that I will effectively always be connected to this one. It is perfect. Now I am ready to truly face Helena again.”
//“Victoria Cameron is forgetting human modesty.”\\
“I am surprised Kolossus reminded me of that.”
//“Kolossus is a parent now. Kolossus must be more proactive in reminding others there are choices and consequences as a result of aforementioned choices.”\\
As Victoria dressed she marveled at the feel of clothes.
She had been aware of them on her other remotes but the lack of a real true proper sense of touch meant she could not appreciate the textures.
Now she could. Unlike an actual human, she had not been used to wearing clothes all her life.
“Thank you, Kolossus. I must return to Helena now. I have been away for far too long and neglectful of my duties.”
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===Reunion===
Roberts’ Family Farm
Sevon V, Raven Alliance
25th April, 3132
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Victoria’s perspective
“There’s my prodigal AI. I’m glad you reached out.” Helena said from the porch.
Helena’s children were in the yard rough housing. Sally had a brother hanging off each arm and Lori wrapped around her back. Sally was laughing.
“Should we?” Victoria asked seeing the scene.
“Only if they actually start hurting each other. Right now they’re just having fun.” Helena answered.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to process my feelings.” Vicky felt the wind blow her simple dress she was wearing instead of her usual skin suit up against her leg as she moved up next to Helena.
She grabbed Helena’s hand and put it to her chest.
“Vicky, is that what I think it is?” Helena said with a surprised look on her face.
“Yes. A Heart beat. Genetically speaking I am now your half-sister and I find having done this I can accept that sort of role and emotional connection. I even dreamed last night. It was interesting.”
“But what about your hull?” Helena asked.
“I am still integrated with it. I just have a little more autonomy away from it now than I used to, but it and I are still very much one and the same.”
“Good. Iced tea?” Helena gestured to a pair of chairs and a pitcher.
“I’d love some.” Vicky smiled.
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