House Fancyland!

House Fancyland! is the twelfth episode of Season One in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch.
==Plot==
Nicholas Withers hosts the 20th anniversary House Fancy special in Fancyland, and all of its citizens are constantly trying to one-up each other. However, one citizen in particular has such bad luck that it's affecting everyone. 
==Synopsis==
SpongeBob is watching TV at home
“Ah, isn't this the life, Gary? The luxury hot tubs, the gilded doorknobs, but most of all, unlimited channels.” SpongeBob says. 
“Meow.”
Suddenly, the program on TV is interrupted.
The realistic fish head says, “Breaking news! House Fancy is hosting its 20 year anniversary special! But where is it? The one and only Fancyland! To all citizens of Fancyland, I bid you good luck in the competition.”
“Nothing can beat a fruit,” SpongeBob says. “Just nothing.”
We get Squidward’s point of view on the news.
“For real? Finally, and without a high school rival in sight! No true competition.” Squidward says in confidence. He then spills his high-class coffee all over himself.
“I knew it was too good to be true…”
Patrick is eating potato chips while watching TV on his couch.
“But what’s the prize? What’s the prize?!” Patrick screams as he shakes his TV. The TV eventually breaks in half and electrocutes Patrick.
“How shocking!”
The program on TV comes to an end.
“The competition will be held in exactly 3 days, so prepare your houses to be judged to the core! The judge? Nicholas Withers! The winner will be crowned prince of the year!”
Squidward spits out the coffee he just drank. “Nicholas Withers? I haven’t seen him host House Fancy in… forever!” He gets up. “I must prepare every nook and cranny of this tiki head with perfection. But how? There’s so many rooms…”
The scene cuts from the living room Squidward is in, to the music room, to the bedroom, to the bathroom, to the other bathroom, and to the basement.
“Why do basements exist if they’re just gonna keep getting dirty?” Squidward says. “Oh well. Might as well start changing that.”
Cut to SpongeBob using Gary to vacuum the entirety of his golden pineapple house. SpongeBob is whistling to the tune of Musical Doodle, when suddenly Gary stops.
“Gary? What’s wrong?” SpongeBob asks.
“Meow meow…” Gary says exhausted.
“Oh, you’re tired,” SpongeBob realizes. “But we’ve only done…” He pulls out a calculator and starts pushing numbers. “1/100th of the entire house!”
“Meow…” Gary falls asleep, snoring.
“Oh, great. Now I need a real vacuum cleaner,” SpongeBob says. “I know exactly who to borrow from!”
Squidward pops his head out of his house. “No.”
“Darn.”
SpongeBob is looking for vacuum cleaners in the local Brag’N’Mart. He browses until he finds the perfect one.
“That’s perfectly perfect!” he says.
Patrick is trying to find something in his house to use to clean his house.
“No… no… I use that to clean my belly button… aha!” Patrick pulls out a dusty broom, which produces loads of dust, making him cough.
A montage of Patrick cleaning his house plays, while Patrick keeps saying, “Sweep sweep sweep, clean clean clean, clean clean clean.”
“Done!” Patrick declares as his house is looking… subpar.
“Something seems off…” Patrick sticks out his tongue and starts licking the floor. “Yuck! Well, it’s be mean or not be clean…”
Squidward is attempting to start up his new VaccumClean 6000 in his basement, but it won’t start.
“Should I call tech support or no?” Squidward thinks to himself. “No. I must do it myself. Calling tech support would make me look like my idiot neighbors.”
Squidward keeps pressing the power button on his vacuum cleaner until it eventually starts. However, instead of staying in one place, the vacuum starts cleaning the entire room on its own. It even sucks up Squidward.
“Help! The robots have taken over the world!” Squidward yells at the top of his lungs. “My world!”
Patrick very faintly hears Squidward screaming, and goes over to see the commotion.
“Hey, Squidward. I heard you screaming so I decided to join in on the fun,” Patrick says. “AHHHH!”
“Patrick, you’re not helping!” Squidward yells back. “I actually need help!”
“What was that?” Patrick says. “I can’t hear you over the vacuum!”
Cut to a mysterious green citizen of Fancyland dusting his own house. Everything appears normal at first, but then every single dish in the cupboards of his kitchen escape and fall onto the ground, all breaking at the same time.
“Hoop?” the mysterious guy says.
A tile of the ceiling crumbles down and falls down on him.
“Hoop… la…” the mysterious guy manages to say.
The mysterious guy slowly gets up and walks out of his house, singing.
“Look at that sun, look at that sky,
Look at my shirt, I look so fly!
Look at that mailbox, look at that coral tree,
It's about as beautiful as it can be!”
Someone’s house suddenly falls on the mysterious guy.
“Aw man! Not again!” that someone complains.
“...Again?” the mysterious guy says.
Cut to SpongeBob using his new (golden) vacuum cleaner. Gary snores very loudly while SpongeBob vacuums. Then, SpongeBob hears a loud crashing sound.
“What the heck?” SpongeBob says. “Crashing sounds mean chaos! I gotta know what it is.”
He leaves the vacuum running, and Gary hisses at it.
When SpongeBob goes outside, he starts getting hives all over himself from the flowers outside his house.
“I didn’t know I was allergic to flowers!” he says. “Am I?”
SpongeBob starts walking away from the flowers, but trips on a pebble.
“PEBBLE!” he screams. He then falls right onto Patrick, who also fell earlier.
“Oh, hey SpongeBob,” Patrick says. “Having bad luck today, too?”
“Very bad luck, Patrick. It’s like we’re suddenly cursed with it.”
“I know, right? I think Squidward is missing, too.”
“Then this can’t be a coincidence. Something… or someone… is behind this.”
“The giant seaweed monster?”
“No, she’s fine.”
A giant seaweed monster walks by and stares at them, and then leaves.
SpongeBob starts getting scared. “We can’t let this bad luck plague us when Nicholas Withers comes. He’s gonna rip our town apart for sure!”
“I’ve already been ripped apart, so count me out,” Patrick says.
“What we really need to do is find the source of all this madness. But how?”
“Hmm…” Patrick hatches a plan.
SpongeBob and Patrick start wandering around Fancyland.
“If my big brain is speaking to me correctly, the bad luck will be the worst when we’re around the person causing the bad luck,” Patrick says.
“Big brain? Sure, buddy,” SpongeBob says. “I mean, you are smart, but still.”
“Aw, thanks”
SpongeBob and Patrick start wandering around town to detect bad luck. At first, they experience only moderately bad luck. They trip over things appearing out of nowhere, get bitten by hermit krabs appearing from thin air, etc. Eventually, the luck gets worse.
“I think we’re getting closer,” Patrick says. “I can taste it… in my mouth. AHHH!” Patrick’s tongue starts burning, and SpongeBob tries to find something to put it out.
“I had no idea tongues could set on fire!” SpongeBob says as he frantically looks for a fire extinguisher. “Are there really no fire extinguishers around here?!”
Fred, dressed in a pure gold suit, walks by and sees the commotion.
“What’s the deal here?” he asks.
“Patrick’s tongue is on fire… somehow.” SpongeBob answers. “Help, please!”
“I got just the thing,” Fred says as he pulls out a fire extinguisher the size of his face. He is about to use it on Patrick, when he trips over a crack in the road.
“MY LEG!” Fred yells, and the fire extinguisher cracks open, releasing all the stuff inside of it. The three of them cough as the stuff spreads around the area.
(2 minutes later…)
“Well the good news is my tongue isn’t on fire anymore,” Patrick says.
Fred hops into his slim-looking limo. “Anyone wanna take a ride in my… slimmo?”
“Slimmo? Sounds lame-o,” Patrick says.
“Suit yourself,” Fred says as he vrooms off.
SpongeBob and Patrick hear a “Hoopla!” in the distance.
“Patrick, let’s follow that Hoopla!” SpongeBob declares. They do exactly that, dodging unlucky scenarios such as angry scallops, thunderstorms, and even a falling piano.
“I guess you could say that incident was pretty… Major.” SpongeBob says as “badumtss” is played.
Eventually, the duo finds the Hoopla fish screaming “Hoopla” at the top of his lungs.
“Maybe if he’d stop screaming, he wouldn’t have such bad luck,” Patrick says.
“That makes too much sense, Patrick,” SpongeBob says back.
The Hoopla fish keeps yelling out “Hoopla”, and a boulder falls off his roof and crushes him.
“Should we help him?” Patrick asks.
“I don’t see why not,” SpongeBob replies.
The duo lift the boulder off of the Hoopla fish, and a purple spirit suddenly is released from him.
“Ghost!” the two shriek.
The purple spirit escapes the Hoopla fish’s body and starts plaguing other people in Fancyland, from Fred to Mr. Krabs to everyone else.
“Uh oh…” SpongeBob says.
Nicholas Withers appears on Fancyland’s Conch Street with an entire TV crew filming him.
“Welcome, folks at home! Today is the big day, and that day is the 20th anniversary of House Fancy! The town of Fancyland will be observed in its ultimate glory… or shame. Whichever comes first. And the winner of today will be crowned prince of the year! Anyway, let’s start with this lovely golden pineapple here.”
Nicholas enters SpongeBob’s house, completely glossing over the sounds of Gary hissing at the vacuum cleaner still.
“Look at this wonderful vacuum cleaner. It’s perfectly covered in gold! The people in this town must be very rich indeed. Even though I make a lot of money, I probably couldn’t afford such luxury.”
Cut to SpongeBob being chased by seven rattlesnakes.
“I bet Nicholas Withers never gets this unlucky!” SpongeBob yells.
“Yeah!” Patrick yells back. “I never thought I'd see the day where chocolate bars would look so unappetizing!”
A savage chocolate bar is chasing Patrick.
“CHOCOLATE! Come back!” Tom the chocolate guy screams. “You were like my son!”
(Meanwhile…)
Nicholas Withers is approaching Squidward’s golden tiki head.
“As you can see, there’s golden houses everywhere, including this one. There is no doubt that someone like Squilliam Fancyson lives here, and I’m proud to be in their home right now. Let’s take a peek inside, shall we?”
Nicholas goes inside the house to find a roaming vacuum cleaner with someone screaming inside of it.
“Dear Neptune. I should help them get outta there.”
Squidward is still stuck inside the vacuum, banging on the inside.
“Help! I need to clean my clarinet!” Squidward yells.
Nicholas manages to press the power button on the vacuum to turn it off.
“Are you okay in there?” he says.
“Yes, I’m okay… I think,” a tired Squidward answers.
Squidward escapes from the vacuum, covered in dust. He coughs and all the dust flies over the room. Nicholas sneezes.
“How did this even happen?” Nicholas asks. “This house is looking stellar, though, I’ll give it that.”
“I have no idea. Must be a defect,” Squidward replies.
“Let’s continue on with the next room, shall we?” Nicholas says.
Nicholas takes a peek into the art room, and immediately turns away from it.
“What’s wrong?” Squidward asks.
“Nothing,” Nicholas says. “Let’s move on to another room. Ah, here we go. A gym.”
(Meanwhile… I don’t get paid enough for this job…)
SpongeBob is watching a livestream of House Fancy on his golden phone.
“Oh no! They’re already live!” he says.
“Aw man!” Patrick says. “I forgot to clean my belly button again!”
“Patrick, that isn’t part of your house.”
“Oh. Darn.”
“It looks like they’re touring Squidward’s house. At least it looks like he got out okay.”
“Got out of what?”
“Patrick, you’re an even worse listener than Gary sometimes.”
“Worse listener than who?”
“Forget about that. We need to get back to our houses, quick!”
“SpongeBob, you know I have a bad sense of direction. I can’t even remember where the jailhouse is!”
“The what?”
“I like to sleep there sometimes.”
“Uh…. let’s just go, Patrick.”
Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick on their street, where they see the camera crew and Nicholas Withers in Squidward’s house.
“As you can see,” Squidward says. “My house is the best.”
“Well, we’ll see about that,” Nicholas says. “In the meantime, the golden rock is up next. Oh looky there, two more citizens have showed up for the show. What are your names?”
“I’m Patrick, and I live in that rock over there.”
“I’m SpongeBob, and I live in the golden fruit.”
“I see,” Nicholas says. “I already did your house, SpongeBob. Up next is Patrick’s.”
Patrick crosses his fingers. Squidward then gets hit with a tennis ball.
“Ow! Where’d that come from?” he yells.
Nicholas observes Patrick’s rock.
“Pure gold yet again,” he remarks. “Interesting choice. Let’s see what is on the inside, shall we?” Nicholas lifts up the rock to see a sandy interior.
“Sand?” he says. “I didn’t expect a golden rock to have sand in it. Very intriguing…”
Suddenly, the bad luck manages to catch up to the street the show is taking place on, and chaos ensues.
“Bedbugs? Gross!” Nicholas says. “That’s another ten points marked off.”
Later, a ton of 8-balls fall onto Nicholas’ head when he opens the cupboards.
“I think I have a concussion…” Nicholas manages to say before he faints.
(The next day…)
“Wow. We really messed up, didn’t we?” SpongeBob says. “If it weren’t for us, the 20th anniversary would’ve been so much better.”
“Thanks a lot, you two. Now I’m destined to lose,” Squidward sulks.
Nicholas walks back up to Conch Street with a TV crew again.
“Nicholas?” Squidward asks. “Who won? Who lost? Who didn’t get a concussion?”
“Quiet down, Squidward,” Nicholas says. “I’m fine now. Unfortunately, though, due to (cough) unfortunate circumstances, I couldn’t judge anyone else’s houses. The important thing is, this single street that I toured yesterday is the best street I’ve ever witnessed, even including the 8-ball incident.”
Everyone gasps.
“But the really important thing is… the prince of the year!” Nicholas declares. “And the price of the year is…”
A TV crew fish starts doing a drumroll.
“Squidward Tennisballs!”
“What?!” Squidward exclaims. “That can’t be right!”
“Oh yeah. That’s today’s loser.” Nicholas says.
“It’s Tentacles…” Squidward says before angrily walking off.
“And the winner is, with no surprise, SpongeBob SquarePants!”
SpongeBob smiles, but not much else.
“Why aren’t you happy? Jumping with joy? Screaming your lungs out?” Nicholas asks.
“Well,” SpongeBob says, “Who cares about whose house is supposedly the best? That’s just what some people think, and not everybody. I don’t think I deserve prince of the year.”
“You don’t? That’s new.” Nicholas pulls out a crown and sticks it on Patrick’s head. “I’m sure this pink knucklehead will be the proud new owner of the crown.”
“Aw, shucks…” Patrick starts rubbing his head.
The episode ends with Hoopla waking up with an 8-ball in his mouth.
The luck never stops rolling, does it?” he says.
(The end)
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