A Brief History of Motion Pictures (transcript)

A theatrical short produced in 1998 for Loews Cinemas starring the Muppets of Sesame Street, celebrating the history of motion pictures and the show's 30th anniversary.
==Transcript==
 	An animated theater marquee reads "WELCOME TO LOEWS THEATERS," accompanied by a fanfare.
Announcer (JN)	Welcome to Loews Theaters!
 	
 	Cut to Cookie Monster, seated in a director's chair on an empty soundstage, about to eat a can of film.
Cookie 	Oh! Welcome, fellow film lovers. Sesame Street proud to present - "Brief History of Motion Pictures," also known as - the movies! (eats a filmstrip) First, there was no picture, no sound. Not too exciting.
 	Cut to aged, letterboxed footage of Marshal Grover and Fred the Wonder Horse in a Western landscape. An out-of-tune piano plays as Fred speaks to Grover, inaudible.
Cookie (VO) 	Then, there was picture, but no sound!
 	
 	A title card reads, "This town ain't big enough for the two of us!" Back on Fred and Grover, a boom mic is lowered into frame as ambient noise creeps in.
Cookie (VO) 	Then, they invented sound. Smart guys.
Grover 	(clears throat, speaking stiltedly) This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Fred 	I wanna say one word to you - plastics! (laughs)
Cookie (VO) 	And with sound, ta-da, come musical!
 	A musical vamp begins as the Western set moves out, revealing a lavish, film-inspired set.
Grover & Fred 	Oh, this town ain't big enough for two of us
A vo-dee-oh-doh
 	The two dance out of frame as the rest of the Muppet cast, dressed as famous movie personalities and archetypes rush in.
Company 	This town ain't big enough for the two of them.
Bert 	Boom-chicka-boom.
Cookie (VO) 	Then, there was color!
 	The scene turns to Technicolor as Grover and Fred return.
Grover & Fred 	It's big enough for me
Or big enough for you.
 	
Company 	It's big enough for one
Not big enough for two.
Cookie (VO) 	Next, come widescreen.
 	
 	The edges of the screen widen, as the cast utters "ahhs" and "Wow!," revealing some more extras, including director Prairie Dawn and Oscar in his trash can.
Prairie 	(through megaphone) This is widescreen! Everyone on camera should be singing and dancing - that's everyone!
Oscar 	I won't dance, don't ask me! (slams lid)
 	
Grover & Fred 	Oh, this screen is wide enough for two of us.
Company 	This screen is wide enough for all of us!
Ernie 	(squeaking Rubber Duckie) Vo-vo-vo-dee-oh! (laughs)
Cookie (VO) 	Then, they invent - watch out! - special effects!
 	Over a pastiche of the famous Indiana Jones theme, a giant boulder crashes through the wall of the soundstage and chases the cast off-screen. A moment later, John Williams' score from Jaws begins as a shark chases them in the other direction.
Rosita 	¡Oy, vamanos!
Biff 	Shark! Shark!
Herry 	Twister!
Shark 	Just when I thought it was safe. (retreats)
 	A giant tornado begins to tear through the set. Set pieces, equipment and even a cow fly about as the cast rushes around for safety.
Company 	This town ain't safe enough for anyone!
Zoe 	Auntie Em!
Company 	So, let's go find another town!
Grover 	Oh, mommy.
 	Grover, the only one left on set, flees as the tornado cuts the power and the screen fades to black. Back to Cookie Monster.
Cookie 	Whatever happened to good story? Me think you going to see one now.
 	He picks up Rosebud, the sled from Citizen Kane, and begins to eat it. He laughs nervously to the camera.
 	200px
 	Dissolve to Big Bird in a special anniversary logo, similar to the MGM logo. An abridged version of the "Sesame Street Theme" plays.
Big Bird 	La-la-la. Enjoy the movie!
 	Elmo, Herry and Telly run past laughing. Telly, in Harpo Marx fashion, honks his horn. Big Bird laughs and waves goodbye.
__NOWYSIWYG__
Brief History