Gravity Falls

Lil Wendy: Wendy is turned 12 years old again and Dipper thinks it perfect to date her.
==Transcript==
*Grunkle Stan: Ah, smell that country air, kids! The sun is shining, the birds are chriping... It's days like this make a man glad he's not currently in jail!
*Dipper: Wow, Grunkle Stan, I've never seen you in such a good mood! Did the doctors change your medication?
*Grunkle Stan: I've just got a good feeling about today. Why don't we take the day off? Grunkle's treat! 
*Mabel: Family Fun Day!! I'll get the sunscreen and some shades for Waddles!
*Dipper: I'll put down the Journal and try to have fun for once!
*Grunkle Stan: Sold! Take full advantage of my good mood, kids. Today, nothing will distract me from spending time with my two favorite knuckleheads! 
*(Loggo arrives)
*Dipper: What was that?
*Mabel: A flying log! With a person face! I'll call him Loggo!
*Grunkle Stan: Fancy Moses! It's some sort of flying abomination of nature... ...which I could turn into an amazing sttraction for the Mystery Shack! Kids, you want to go capture that flying beast for your Grunkle Stan? I'll let you eat a bucket of chocolate. 
*Dipper: Yay Adventure!
*Mabel: Yay! Bucket of chocolate! But, what about the Family Fun Day you promosied?
*Grunkle Stan: Capture that thing and we'll have a Family Fun Week! Now go get it!
*Dipper: We can't leave yet! The Flying Beast went the other way! Huh. Omnious mystery fog. I don't remember seeing this before. I'd shien through it, but I think my flashlight is broken! 
*Mabel: Let's tell Grunkle Stan about our conundrum!
*Grunkle Stan: Did you find that flying log goblin?
*Dipper: Not exactly! Have you ever encountered black, omnious mystery fog?
*Grunkle Stan: Sure, every time I take off my glasses! Never get old, kids.
*Dipper: Do you know how to fix a flashlight?
*Grunkle Stan: If I knew how to fix problems, I wouldn't have Soos around! He's probably in the Gift Shop, trying to solve the mystery of his paycheck is always late. 
*Soos: Dipper! Mabel! Sup, dudes? You guys look flummoxed.
*Dipper: We are! My flashlight's busted, and I need it to continue my adventure!
*Soos: Oh, DUDE, are you on a quest?! This is like my favorite RPG, SwordBirth: Age of Swords: Rise of the Swordians.
*Mabel: Uh... does that mean you'll help us?
*Soos: Yeah, dude! I'll be like The SwordKeeper who gives the heroes upgrades, and inexplicably always stands in the exact place!
*Dipper: I think we just need a battery.
*Soos: Oh, I just saw one of those around here somewhere...
*Dipper: Let's check out the Museum later.
*Soos: By Swordthazar's Blade, you found it! Let met fix that up for you!
*Dipper: Wow! Thanks, Soos!
*Soos: Boom! You're super charged and ready to go combat that spooky fog! I don't know where this battery came from, but the voltage is like scary strong. 
*Dipper: Gotta talk to Grunkle Stan.
*Grunkle Stan: Woof, my girdle is tight today. Hey, if you talk to me, sometimes you'll hear things you wish you'll didn't! aGet back to the Gnome Forest and get that flying beast! 
*Dipper: Hmm ... maybe my Journal says something about this... Mabel, there it is! The chase is on! 
*Mabel: Blarf! It's too fast for my cute little girl legs!
*???: HELP! Someone, anyone, HEEEELP!
*Dipper: That voice sounds familiar.
*Mabel: And annyoing! Let's check it out! 
*Jeff the Gnome: OOF!
*Mabel: It's Jeff the Gnome! And he's being attacked!
*Dipper: On the other hand, we should help him. On the other hand, he's always been a jerk to us.
*Mabel: We have reached an ethical quandary.
*Dipper: Let's just pretend this is a nature documentary and watch! 
*Jeff the Gnome: GAH! Oh thank heavens -- you sacred it off. You really saved my hairy little neck! 
*Mabel: What was that thing, and whyd id it want that stone?
*Jeff the Gnome: That's no ordinary stone. That's a GNOME GEMULET!
*Mabel: That's a Gemulet?
*Jeff the Gnome: Not quite a gem, not quite an amulet. Better than an anu-gen, worse than a gemulet. The Tale of the Gemulets is as old as the Gnome Kingdom itself... ...and since you saved my life, the least I can do is to tell you all 167 verses. 
*Mabel: Ugh... tuning out ... now.
*Jeff the Gnome: There are four Gemulets, and they are the source of the Gnome Kingdom's magic. The Gemulets harness the magical essences of EARTH, FIRE, WATER AND WIND.
*Mabel: Oooh, what about heart? Is there a heart stone?
*Jeff the Gnome: Please don't belittle our culture. This is serious. The Gemulets regulate the flow of magic through the Gnome Forest in an orderly fashion.
*Dipper: And that creature stole one? 
*Jeff the Gnome: THE MINDLESS BEASTS! They stole ALL FOUR, and hid them throughout the land!
*Dipper: So ... basically it's like every cilche fantasy story ever. Got it.
*Jeff the Gnome: Listen! The Gemulets are useless when seperated. If their protection is gone, the forest's magic will die, and the gnomes will be plunged into an era of darkness! If that happens, I'll be branded the WORST leader in gnome histroy. They'll mutiny against me! Hey, maybe YOU could get the gems back! I'd go myself, but I'm overloaded with forest management duties. ...chipmunk distribution, mushroom inventory, and these baby animal giggles aren't gonna catalog themselves. 
*Mabel: Hmmm ... I don't want the forst to die. This is where squirrels live!
*Jeff the Gnome: Does that mean you'll help? If you do, I'll reward you with MILLIONS in GNOME GOLD!
*Grunkle Stan: Where do I sign, Little-Legs?
*Jeff the Gnome: It's Jeff! Jeff Little-Legs!
*Dipper: Whoa, Grunkle Stan! Where did you come from?
*Grunkle Stan: Smoke Bomb! I'll teach you how to use 'em when you're older. Okay Jeff, let's see the deal.
*Jeff the Gnome: HURRAY! Qrz ehjlqv txhvw xqwrog. Wkh vhfuhwv ri wkh jhpxohwv xqirog! 
*Dipper: Wait, what was that?
*Jeff the Gnome: Just a verbally binding gnome contract. Boilerplate, really. 
*Grunkle Stan: We're gonna be millionares! With that kind of cash, we can do whatever we want! Imagine, kids!
*Mabel: I could make a sweater out of chandeliers! 
*Dipper: I could get beard implants!
*Grunkle Stan: And I could get a robot body to succeed where my old-man body has failed!
*Jeff the Gnome: It's settled! You're going to recover the FOUR GEMULETS and save the GNOME KINGDOM!
*Mabel: Soos is going to be so jealous that he missed this.
*Jeff the Gnome: Start your search at the Old Mines. The beast that attacked me is probably headed there to hide my precious Wind Gemulet.
*Mabel: Say no more, Jeff. Onward to claim the Wind Gemulet!
*Jeff the Gnome: Not so fast! You're gonna need the help of some powerful gnome magicks to complete this quest. Talk to Shmebulock in his room downstairs. You'll find weapons there. You'll also need to train. We don't have any punching bags, so use Shmebulock. He'll be probably thrilled! 
*Dipper: Uh, Shmebulock? Jeff said you'd have some weapons for us?
*Schmebulock: Schmebulock.
*Dipper: Check it out, Mabel! The inscription says these are GNOME BATTLE CUFFS! Apparently, they were crafted by the legendary gnome enchanter, Brad. 
*Mabel: Awww, they look like cute little bracelets!
*Dipper: They're BATTLE CUFFS! They just look like bracelets because they're gnome sized! Uh, Schmebulock? Jeff said ut'd be cool if I trained with you. Er ... ON you. 
*Schmebulock: Schmebulock!
*Dipper: I'm gonna assume that's a yes. Here goes my first PUNCH... Whoa! My hands are finally useful! 
*Mabel: Now, let's see if there's a lil' somethin' somethin' good ol' Mabel. Oooooh, this is called a "BEDAZZLING FLEECE!" It uses whip-like sleeves to attack my foes with bedazzling gems! Schmebulock, mind if I whip you in the face a little bit?
*Schmebulock: Schmebulcok!
*Mabel: Boom! Looks like I'm dressed to kill -- literally! The inscription-dealy says something about charge attacks. How do you think those work? 
*(Gnome arrives)
*Gnome: HUMANS! How dare you enter our sacred forest and steal our magical items!
*Mabel: Many pardons, fair gnome, but we're on offical business from Jeff! 
*Gnome: Jeff? that bearded train wreck?
*Mabel: Isn't he your leader?
*Gnome: Pssh, the forest is in shambles thanks to his crummy leadership. You know he accidetally forwarded his Christmas letter to the entire forest without proofreading it? Total embrassment. We're through taking orders from Jeff. So how about you hand over those weapons and I'll let you leave with your kidneys. 
*Dipper: I think we just found a new punching bag for charge attack practice! 
*Gnome: Bring it on!
*Dipper: Hah! Between your power sweater, and my battle cuffs, we're gonna be unstoppable! 
*Mabel: First we stop these beasts! Then we rule rule the world!!
*Dipper: ... 
*Mabel: No? 
*Grunkle Stan: Hold up, kids! Ancient forests like this are crawlin' with loot! I'd wager there's Mystery Junk hidden all over this place. Before you start looking for Gemulets see if you can rustle up some up stuff for my Museum. Gotta keep the Shack in business! With our upcoming fortune in Gnome Gold, we're gonna need a lot more attractions. 
*Dipper: Jeez, Grunkle Stan, how many dollars do you need?
*Grunkle Stan: How many stars are there in the sky, Dipper? Now, get searching!
*Jeff the Gnome: Like the beard? Been thinking of turning this baby into a soul patch. Shake things up.
*Dipper: What if we just ran outta here and blatantly ignored Jeff's quest?
*Mabel: In the seconds before Stan would flip out, it would be hilarious.
*Dipper: Eh, we should probably check out the gnome weapons that Schmebulock supposedly has. Look, somebody lost their book! Soos told me if you return lost items to their owners, they're supposed to reveal a secret. Or a fun fact. It's a quest etiquette, or something. 
*Mabel: Sign me up for fun-secrets! Let's stop by Main Street later and ask our fellow towns-peeps if they're lost anything. 
*Grunkle Stan: Kids! Over here! JACKPOT! I don't know this junk is, but it'll make great tourist attractions! Quick -- to the Shack! Kids! I Grunkled together some new attractions with the junk you found. To the Museum! Welcome to a world of Fun-Chantment! 
*Mabel: Whoa! Everything is so shiny! And it doesn't smell like formadelhyde anymore! 
*Grunkle Stan: I gave the place a makeover! Also I'm thinking of buying a helicopter.
*Dipper: How did you afford all this?
*Grunkle Stan: Soon we're gonn abe rolling in Gnome Gold. So I'm spending right away! Bless credit cards! Take a look at the new attraction on the pesdestals up front. Just don't touch anything. You touch it, you buy it! 
*Dipper: The exhibit says "Baby Spartiguins. Don't run afoul of these fierce warrior birds!" 
*Grunkle Stan: Oh hey, Soos wanted to talk to you two. Can't remember about what. I kinda tune out when he talks. 
*Soos: Check it, dudes! While you were, out adventuring, I worked my mad skills on your grappling hook! Now it should automatically stick to stuff when you shoot it, and hold craycray amounts of weight so you can swing around! 
*Mabel: It's never been grapply-er! Thanks, Soos!
*Soos: Now, go grapple to your hearts' content! I'll just be here grappling with my own personal issues.
*Waddles: (Grumbles)
*Mabel: What's that, Waddles? 
*Waddles: Oink! Oink!
*Mabel: You poor thing! Dipper! A pack of raccoons stole Waddles' snacks and scattered them everywhere! He's famished! 
*Dipper: Relax, Mabel. We'll keep an eye out for Waddles' snacks as we explore!
*Grunkle Stan: Look alive, kids. You've got Gemulets to find. And I've gotta get a dump truck that can haul a million in Gnome Gold. 
*Dipper: C'mon, Mabel! Let's explore the Old Mines! 
*Wendy: Psst. Hey, you two. If you see any old-school cassettes layin' around, pick them up for me will ya? My dad threw them out of the car window on our last road trip. That dude does NOT appreciate great music! 
*Pacifica Northwest: Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I need you two. I was redecorating my room with mirrors to look at myself, when I accidentally dropped my dad's trophies! My dad will go MENTAL if he doesn't get those trophies back! Last time he cut off my credit card for a WEEK! Will you please find my dad's trophies? If you do, I'll reward you by not making fun of your terrible fashion for a whole week. Kthanksbye! 
*Robbie: "My horrmoonees are like a sweaty caaaagge!" 
*Dipper: What are you singing, Robbie?
*Robbie: None of your business, dork! Just a little power ballad. You proably don't even know what that is.
*Dipper: It's like a ballad, but with more power?
*Robbie: You'll never know! I climbed up the water tower and scattered my secret song's lyrics to the wind. Don't you DARE go looking for them, either! 
*Grenda: Oh hey, Mabel! I couldn't help but notice your mad questing skills. If you see any dumbells lying around, coudl you pick them up? I drew them all at some high school kids who stole Candy's Monster-Mon fanfics. Thanks! 
*Candy Chiu: Mabel, help! Some high school kids stole my Monster-Mon fanfic novels! I saw them throwing my precious novels out of their mom's van as they drove off. Please find all my novels. For the world. For DigiZard! 
*Dipper: FOR DIGIZAAARD!!!! U, I mean...yeah. We'll help! 
*???: Gotcha!
*Dipper: AHH!
*Mabel: AHH!
*???: AHH! Oh! Howdy, fellers!
*Dipper: Old Man McGucket? Why are you following us around like a creep?
*Old Man McGucket: 'Cause I'm a creep! Hee, hee, hee!
*Dipper: ...
*Old Man McGucket: Besides that, I'm collectin' magic spores! Then glowin' doo-dads floatin' tinder and yonder. I see you've collected some yerself. They're Nature's Gold! 
*Dipper: Wouldn't that just be gold?
*Old Man McGucket: Hush! I've discovered that with these twinkly puffs, I can make MIRACLE ELIXERS! Just a swig of my mystery juice and your HEALTH and POWER will shoot through the moon! 
*Dipper: McGucket does have a way with potions. my voice will never be the same...
*Old Man McGucket: But, I need to collect enough spores or the goldurned brew won't work! Can you collect 'em for me?
*Mabel: Sure!
*Old Man McGucket: You got yourselves a deal! Spit-shake on it?
*Dipper: Uh, no thanks.
*Old Man McGucket: I'll just spit on ya when you ain't lookin'! Just drop bt the Junkyard when you have enough spores to trade. I'll be there! And if you see any of my POTIONS lyin' around, feel free to drink 'em! What's the worst that could happen!? 
*Mabel: Thanks, McGucket! 
*Grunkle Stan: BOO! Over here, knuckleheads! Nice looting, kids! If the cops ask, we brought these fair and square! Hmm ... your parents probably wouldn't want you entering this omnious cursed door without adult supervision. good thing the're not here! Later, kids! 
*Mabel: Yikes! Even for a cave, this place is a dump.
*Dipper: Check out these caev paintings! I wonder if they mean something...
*Mabel: Bo-ring! C'mon, let's find that Wind Gemulet! Yay! We got the Wind Gemulet! USA! USA! USA!
*Dipper: I can't wait to see the look on Jeff's face when he sees this! Whoa, the blockade's gone! Let's use this as a shortcut to Jeff when we don't want to take the scenic route! Hi, Jeff! Who's got two thumbs and a WIND GEMULET? This guyyyyy! 
*Jeff the Gnome: Oh, thank goodness! Without the Gemulet's power, the forest dies a little each day! The lakes have been drying up, and the birds have started tweeting really hurtful things about my mom. But, these Gemulets will fix everything! Gemulet of the Gnomes! Return to Your Rightful Home! Are you guys, okay?
*Dipper: The lair was pretty spooky. I'm starting to think your Gemulets weren't just stolen for fun... ...I think there's sinister plan at work here. 
*Jeff the Gnome: Ugh, just what I need! I just discovered my first gray beard hair... ...and now you're telling me someone is plotting against the Gnome Kingdom? 
*Dipper: Not if we can help it. We'll get to the bottom of this. Any idea where we should search next?
*Jeff the Gnome: My gnome scouts tracked one of the Beasts to the Lake. It's hoarding the Water Gemulet there. Off you go! 
*(Gnomes arrives)
*Gnome: Hey Jeff, we finished making hats for the field mice. Can we have our break now?
*Jeff the Gnome: Ohh, sorry, guy, but no breaks until we hit our quota! Sorry, but you have to make the tough calls when you're mamanger.
*Gnome: The only thing you know how to manage is what dinner to eat alone every night.
*Jeff the Gnome: Haha, oh Carlos. You and your sense of humor. I like to joke around with my employees. that's why they respect me! 
*Carlos: We have dartboard of your face in the break room.
*Jeff the Gnome: Heh, heh! Good one, Carlos!
*Carlos: ...
*(Gnomes walks away)
*Mabel: Don't worry, Jeff! We'll have those Gemulets back, your kingdom restored, and your fellow gnomes respecting you again in no time! 
*Dipper: C'mon, let's head back to the Shack!
*Mabel: Hold on ... incoming thought ... Oh YEAH! Remember our deal with McGucket? We should totally cash in on that! 
*Dipper: Of course! Let's zip over to the Junkyard and see what McGucket can whip up with the spores we're scooped up so far! 
*Old Man McGucket: Need an upgrade? Trade me some magic spores arl I'll fix ya right up! Enjoy! C'mon back when you've get more spores to trade! 
*Mabel: Grunkle Stan! We found the Wind Gemulet and gave it to Jeff!
*Grunkle Stan: Great job, pumpkin! You're turning into a world-class treasure hoarder just like your Grunkle Stan! To the Museum! BEHOLD! Mysterious artifacts found in Old Mines! Lookin' at these ain't free, you know. I'll charge you half price since you're family. 
*Dipper: "A prehistoric hunting weapon made with teeth from the extinct wooly rabbit of Gravity Falls." This exhibit says "Golden Shutterfly. This is the only known speciman found in Gravity Falls." "One flap of this strange insect's wings could blind anyone attempting to catch it." 
*Soos: Sup, dudes! Using my ancient wisdom, those parts you found, and some duct tape, I was able to upgrade your flashlight! Now, that the grow crystals are aligned, you can shrink down to fit tiny spaces, then return to normal with the flip of a switch! Ch-Ch-check it out! 
*Mabel: And I'll always remain a millmeter taller. Win-win! 
*Dipper: Thanks, Soos!
*Soos: No prob, dude! Although if you could shrink my gut a little, that would be cool.
*Grunkle Stan: Time to find Jeff's next magic Rockulet, or TailsGem or whatever. And loot more Mystery Junk! Now, get to the Lake and keep questing, you little scamps! Hey, kids! Stop your scuttlebuttin' and meet me over here at the stone entrance! There are some top-notch tchotchkes, kids! You two would make great pickpockets! Get in this dark cave and keep looking for Jeff's Gem-a-mabob! 
*Dipper: Hmm. This looks like another lair, but there's no sign of any Beast.
*Mabel: Maybe it heard we were coming and ran away in terror!!
*Dipper: RUN AWAY IN TERROR! 
*Mabel: Wait, Dipper! That Beast is wearing the Water Gemulet! And looking pretty good, actually. 
*Dipper: We have to get it back! 
*Mabel: Time to unleash the fury of our ADORABLE GNOME WEAPONRY!
*Dipper: Woooh, we got the Water Gemulet! 
*Mabel: Jeff's gonna love this! First, the Gnome Forest! Then? Limitless gold and Family Fun Days! Who wants a WATER GEMULET! 
*Jeff the Gnome: I do! I do! Please, gimmie, gimmie...
*Dipper: It wasn't easy, but we did it!
*Jeff the Gnome: Fantastic! You kids are really working out in the hero department! You're doing a much better job than Glen. Yeesh. Glen! 
*Dipper: We also found some really strange artifacts while exploring.
*Jeff the Gnome: Hmm. Those must be other items the Beasts have stolen from our poor Gnomefolk!
*Dipper: Even worse, the Beast we defeated was using the WATER GEMULET as some kind of power source. 
*Jeff the Gnome: With each passing hour, the magic drains from the Gnome Kingdom! I saw a hummingbird just give up and lie on the ground. On the GROUND, KIDS!
*Mabel: Cheer up, Jeff. We've got your back now. Got any more leads for us?
*Jeff the Gnome: Well, Gary heard from Brian who ehard from Matt who heard from several squirrels that another Beast was spotted in the Deep Forest. 
*Dipper: Then, that's where we'll explore next, right after we check in with Stan!
*(Gnomes arrives)
*Gnome: Here's that tree ring count report you wanted, sir.
*Jeff the gnome: Why thank you, Steve! Let's take a look... Hey, Steve, you joker! There are all these drawings of me in here. It says, "Worst. Leader. Ever." 
*Steve: Whoops, that's actaully my diary.
*Jeff the Gnome: Haha! I know you're just joshin' me! Hey, wanna play some foosball later?
*Steve: I'm... I'm good, actually.
*Jeff the Gnome: Was that a yes? I think I heard a yes? We'll stay in touch! 
*(Gnomes walks away)
*Mabel: Still having trouble with your Gnomefolk, eh?
*Jeff the Gnome: What? No. Steve's just the office prankster. He should be more careful with this though. Personally, I keep my diary pages a closely guarded secret! 
*Mabel: Wait, what?
*Jeff the Gnome: Nothing, nothing at all! It had nothing to do with my diary pages reveal them! Good luck finding the Earth Gemulet! Would it be weird for me to date an employee? Just thinking out loud, guys, don't say anything to HR. 
*Dipper: Let's take another look around and see what we can find! 
*Mabel: I shouldn't leave Dipper behind! You see that? You SEE THAT? Mystery Twins RULE! Let's explore somewhere else! 
*Dipper: Grunkle Stan! There was a crazed, horned BEAST! And -- 
*Mabel: And we BEAT it! And we found the WATER GEMULET! And -- 
*Grunkle Stan: You did good, kids! To the museum! BEHOLD the Oddities of Gravity Falls Lake! Pretty snazzy, eh? Those dumb tourists will eat this up like deep-fried gravy! 
*Dipper: The exhibit says "Perifarian Roots. These are the petrified remains of the legendary musical plant. "Listen briefly and hear its mysthical song -- listen too long and be hypnotized forever! This exhibit says "Duck-Billed Quackalpous. Part platypus, part antelelope, part duck." "Its first duck bill opens to reveal a second duck bill inside!" 
*Soos: Hey, Mabel. Those parts you found in the Lake were way ancient. If I didn't know any better I'd say they were enchanted or something. I rigged them to your grappling hook, and BLAMMO -- now you've got super strong pulling power! I bet you could pull down like, ginormous trees and stuff. 
*Mabel: Soos, you're a genius! The first tree I topple I'm gonna name after you! 
*Soos: I'm cool with that.
*Grunkle Stan: Ah, I can almost smell that Gnome Gold, kids! Where to next?
*Dipper: Jeff told us to explore the Deep Forest. You know, the creepiest part of the forest. Legend has it, the dead trees whisper your name. And if you stare into the twisted weeds, you'll go insane! 
*Grunkle Stan: Haha! Sounds like a blast! Well, good luck! BOO! Over here, knuckleheads! Well done! You two remind me of myself when I was young. Those carefree, grave-robbing days... Keep looking for the Gemulet through this foul-smelling cave entrance! I'm taking these back to the Shack. SMOKE BOMB, YAH!
*Dipper: No sign of our Beast yet. How about we stage a little surprise attack of our own? Can you cause a distraction? 
*Mabel: LOOK OVER THERE!
*Dipper: Where? Ohhhh. Well, played! Get ready, Mabel! We got the Earth Gemulet! 
*Mabel: Mystery Twins 2, Super Beasts 0! Waddles 5. I just felt giving points to Waddles. Let's drop this off with Jeff. That should brighten up his day. 
*Jeff the Gnome: Here come my little super stars! 
*Dipper: Hey, Jeff! It wasn't wasy, but we got the EARTH GEMULET!
*Jeff the Gnome: HUZZAH! You two are really on a roll! If I didn't live in a suitcase, I'd invite you over for a drink! Now please, pass it to me gently... 
*Dipper: That leaves just one more to find, right?
*Jeff the Gnome: Yes! But, you must act quickly! The Gnome Kingdom is falling apart at the seams. The badgers have stopped singing songs of mirth and merriment. Which is a major problem 'cause I'm preparing a big party to celebrate the Reunification of the Gemulets. 
*Mabel: Ooh, a gnome party? Do you wear little party hats over your little hats?
*Jeff the Gnome: Yes. Yes, we do. But, it won't be happening unless you finish your quest! A little bird told me -- a woodpecker to be exact -- it saw another Beast retreat to the Caverns. It must be hoarding the Fire Gemulet! 
*Dipper: We're on it!
*(Gnomes arrives)
*Jeff the Gnome: Oh, hey, Daniel! You gotta minute? We need to talk about the formatting on your latest accouting scroll. 
*Daniel: Yeah, about that? I decided I don't care. I'm gonna go take a paid nap and then eat other people's lunches.
*Jeff the Gnome: Haha, now Daniel, we've talked about this! If you keep up that attitude I'm gonna have to --
*Daniel: What? What are you going to do? Throw pine cones at me?
*Jeff the Gnome: Uh ... Ha-ha, just ... try harder next time! 
*Daniel: (Coughs) LOSER! (Coughs)
*Jeff the Gnome: I don't think that was the real cough.
*(Gnomes walks away)
*Jeff the Gnome: Please, get that Fire Gemulet! They're losing more respect for me by the minute! I've been stress-eating my own beard! Wanna hear a joke? Here goes! Knock, knock! Who's there? Daily Reports! Daily Reports Who? Finish those Daily Reports or you're fired! Hahahahaha!!!!! It's probably funnier in Gnomish. You just don't speak our language. 
*Grunkle Stan: You sick of my Museum yet? Well, get ready to pretend you aren't! Behold the Oddities of the Deep Forest! If you keep finding more stuff like this, I'll be able to TRIPLE the admission price! Tourists will feast theior eyes, while I feast on their cash! 
*Dipper: The exhibit says "Glamoural Helmet. Ancient ceremonial headpiece carved from 100% glam rock." "Legends say whoever wears this headpiece can sing high enough to shatter glass! The exhibit says "The In Your Face Vase. Will win any staring contest -- unless you knock it over! 
*Soos: Check it, dudes. What do you get when you hack together a giant claw, some enchanted metal, and a cloud in a jar? 
*Dipper: Uh... 
*Soos: A MAGICAL grappling hook! I have no idea what it does, though.
*Mabel: This is amazing, Soos! Thank you!
*Soos: Hey, no sweat! It's been inspring. If I can upgrade a grappling hook, imagine the upgrades I could make to myself! Imagine the upgrades I could make to the WORLD!! Anyway, I'm gonna go play Swordquest now. I have a lot of grinding to do before I reach Level SwordHundred! 
*Grunkle Stan: Kids, we stand before the dawn of a new era in Mystery Shack history. An era of limitless prosperity, where Gnome Gold flows like water and water flows like chocolate. And the chocolates? Don't even ask me what they're gonna flow like! Now, where's that gnome's final doo-dad hiding? 
*Dipper: Deep in the Caverns.
*Grunkle Stan: I went there once! Burned my eyebrows off! That place is a death trap. ... Well, have fun! C'mon over here, kids -- Grunkle's here to collect! I'd come to you, but ... yeah. That's not happening. This is some primo crud, kids! I'm taking it back to the Shack. Jeff's rhinestone is probably in the volcanic cave, so get in there! Don't get heat stroke or anything. 
*Dipper: Right on, Mabel, we did it! We got the Fire Gemulet! 
*Mabel: We are on FIRE! Not literally , thank goodness. Let's go show Jeff! 
*Dipper: Jeff! We finally have the last piece! The GEMULET of FIRE!
*Mabel: Our adventure is over! Much quicker than I expected, too. 
*Dipper: Something doesn't add up, Mabel. We still never discovered the villain behind all this. Who were those beasts working for? What were all those omnious cave paintings about? 
*Mabel: Relax, bro-bro! We're about to get a pile of gold and a rockin' gnome party! So, are the other gnomes coming here for the celebration?
*Jeff the Gnome: Who knows? Now that I have the Gemulets, WHO CARES! 
*Dipper: What?
*Jeff the Gnome: Qr'z eh'iruh krx'uv o'dwh! Rshq pb v'rxo dqg vh'do w'khlu idwh! 
*Dipper: Uh ... that's some really omninous chanting. 
*Grunkle Stan: It's reward time, suckers! Make with the Gnome Gold, buddy! Preferably in all one pile, right where I'm standing. I want to swim a few laps in it before I take it home. 
*Jeff the Gnome: Vn'lhv x'xuq e'odfn dqg iruhv'wv eohhg! Rqh wuxh o'hdghu qrz fqg ohd'g!!!!!!!!! 
*Grunkle Stan: ... What is that, Yiddish? 
*Mabel: Jeff, snap out of it, buddy! You're going overboard! 
*Jeff the Gnome: UHO'HDVH WK'H VSL'ULW! UHO'HDVH WK'H VSL'ULW! 
*(Gnomes arrives)
*Gnome: Dude! Can you keep it down? We're trying to see who can throw Schmebulock the furthest and your chanting is today wrecking our flow!
*Jeff the Gnonme: Oh dear, forgive me MORTAL WREAKLING. Let me see what I can do about that...
*(Jeff the Gnome transform into Dark Jeff)
*Dark Jeff: RAAARRRG!
*Gnome: AHHH!
*Mabel: AHHH! 
*Dipper: AHHH!
*Dark Jeff: IT WORKED! How's my noise level now? Deafening? GOOD!
*Grunkle Stan: Okay pal, I don't know what kind of weird dress-up parties you're into, but how about we take that Gnome Gold and leave you to it. 
*Dark Jeff: Ignorant old fool! Gnomes don't make gold. Any reasonable person knows gnomes trade in the currency of Timbleberries! 
*Grunkle Stan: Wait, wait, wait, what's happening? Are you saying that YOU swindeled ME?!
*Dark Jeff: Oh, but I didn't do it alone. You should be proud of Dipper and Mabel. Those legendary tailsmans have been secretly guarded by ancient forest spirits in Gravity Falls for longer than recorded gnome history. They would have stayed thay way if it wasn't for your hard work. Thanks, kids! 
*Dipper: Wait, so the Gemulets never ever belonged to the gnomes in the first place? And you used us to STEAL them?
*Mabel: We trusted you! Why, Jeff?
*Dark Jeff: You will refer to me as DARK JEFF! And I will explain. It all began when a badger ate our Gnome Queen at the start of the summer. I still remember the funeral: wearing our blackest pointy hats, eating jar after jar of bereavement jam. Leadership of the Gnome Society fell to me, and I made it my plan to get a new queen as fast as possible. But when MABEL rejected my advances... 
*Mabel: You KIDNAPPED me, you CREEP!
*Dark Jeff: And when my second choice for queen turned out to be Gideon... 
*Dipper: Sorry about that, by the way.
*Dark Jeff: I was humilated! And my Gnomefolk lost all respect for me as leader. I tried everything to win them back! I tried to hanging out with them... ...I tried telling hilarious, work-appropirate jokes... ...but still they mocked me. I was the laughing stock of the Gnome Kingdom. Util I discovered an ANCIENT PROPHECY. "One who unites the Gemulets of Elemental Power will become the ULTIMATE LEADER!" There were disclaimers of course, about the Gemulets being highly unpredictable, yada-yada, born of dark intent... I'm too busy for fine print. Now KNEEL before your new leader! 
*Grunkle Stan: NEVER, you mutated lawn ornament! if there's no Gnome Gold, we're taking those GNOME GIBLETS back!
*Dark Jeff: SILENECE! Bear witness to the limitless power of DARK JEFF!
*(Gnomes transform into Dark Gnomes)
*Dark Gnome: All hail Dark Jeff, ruler of the Gnome Kingdom and bearer of cool earrings! 
*Dark Jeff: Now, it's YOUR turn, Pines family! Prepare to swear allegiance to Dark Jeff!
*Grunkle Stan: Kids! Get back to the Shack. I'll cause a distraction.
*Dipper: But -- 
*Grunkle Stan: RUN! NOW! What took you so long?
*Dipper: Grunkle Stan, you made it! What happened back there?
*Grunkle Stan: Nothing that permantely damaged my bones. (Coughs) We need weapons! (Coughs) Find Soos! He can help! 
*Soos: What's going on, dudes? I was just about to play a marathon of SwordQuest. I just unlocked this whole new Dark World! Honetely, it just seems like a way for the programmers to change the colors and use the same levels twice. Clever! 
*Mabel: Soos! Jeff the Gnome bamboozled us!
*Dipper: He used an ancient prophecy to turn himself into a HIDEOUS BEAST with limitless power! We need whatever upgrade you've got, RIGHT NOW! 
*Soos: Roger that. I combined some of that magical plant essence with the glow tube you found. Your new flashlight casts some kind of magic beam, but I didn't have time to test it. I'm not concerned. 
*Dipper: Soos! Grunkle Stan's waiting for us in the Museum. Come with us!
*Soos: You go ahead, dudes. The SwordWraith waits for me in a Sword-Shaped SwordTress Made of Swords! 
*Mabel: Soos!
*Dipper: There's no time to convince him, Mabel! We have to go! 
*Wendy: Stan, why did you shove me in here? I actually about to do some work for you ... honest.
*Waddles: Oink! 
*Dipper: We've got a huge problem, Wendy!
*Mabel: A 20-foot Dark Jeff problem. 
*Grunkle Stan: Relax, we're safe in here. I reinforced these walls with bunker-grade steel. Now you AND the attractions are safe! See? Not all of my renovations were frivolous! 
*Dipper: Duped by Jeff. I can't believe I didn't see this coming.
*Wendy: Don't beat yourself up, man. You and Mabel kicked a lot of butt out there. 
*Waddles: Oink!
*Grunkle Stan: On the bright side, you've gotta admit my collection has never looked better! 
*Dipper: What!? 
*Dark Jeff: Knock, knock. Who's there? 
*Wendy: AHH!
*Dark Jeff: YOUR ETERNAL DEMISE!
*Grunkle Stan: Yeesh. All that power and your jokes are still terrible!
*Mabel: Jeff! This isn't the way to earn anyone's respect.
*Dark Jeff: Oh, I disagree! Once I take over the town and trap you forever, I'll be remembered as the greatest leader in Gnome history! 
*Dipper: Don't you think that's going overboard?!
*Dark Jeff: Overboard? OVERBOARD!? I'll show you overboard! Limitless power! Barring a reasonably short loading time, I can do anything! By the way, the pieces of "Mystery Junk" you've been collecting are actually... ...living components of the ancient TOTEM GUARDIANS, sworn to protect the Gemulets! Of course, these beasts are work for me now. I really appreciate all the hard work you've put in for me. As a reward, you can hang out in here with my minions. FOREVER!
*Dipper: You can't trap us in our own house!
*Dark Jeff: Guess what? I just did! I'll go take care of your friends now Later, fools! 
*Mabel: He took our friends, Dipper! He took Waddles!
*Dipper: When I get my hands on Jeff, I'm going to shatter his stupid gnome face! 
*Mabel: But, first we have to take care of these creatures! YEAH! Take THAT, creepy Shack creatures! 
*Dipper: Oh NO! The Fire Beast is here for revenge! Throw glitter at it and run, Mabel!
*Fire Guardian: HALT! I'm not here for vengeance, Dipper. 
*Dipper: You're not? Even after we beat you up and ripped a magic stone from your chest cavity?
*Fire Guardian: Gotta be honest ... didn't LOVE that. There are bigger issues now. Issues over which we must UNITE! 
*Mabel: Wow, this is like a movie!
*Dipper: Yeah, I guess you could say that you and I are not so different.
*Fire Guardian: I would never say that. We are extremely different in every conceivable way. 
*Dipper: ... 
*Mabel: Why are you using so many words now when you didn't say anything before?
*Fire Guardian: When I'm trying to protect Gemulets, I tend to go into a blind, incohernet rage. It's an issue. I'm working on it. 
*Dipper: So, how do we stop Jeff?
*Fire Guardian: It's complicated. Jeff is tampering with some extremely dark forces. Eons ago, Gravity Falls was completely besieged by dark magic. Wizards, beasts, a triangle in a top hat who tried to destroy the world... 
*Mabel: Ugh, that guy!
*Fire Guardian: But in this dark time, one of the most horriyfying was a merciless spirit of pure hate, called GREMULARTH. Using great magic, the native people of the town were able to TRAP GREMULARTH inside of a magic gemulet... ...which was then broken into pieces and scattered to the four corners of the town in hopes they would NEVER be reunited!
*Dipper: So, it's basically like the plot of the '90's animated movie "Fern Forest Gulch." 
*Fire Guardian: How DARE you! It is NOTHING like a '90's animated movie! Just because you said that, you don't get to hear my song. 
*Dipper: ....
*Fire Guardian: Anyway, it gets worse. Jeff has broken off a Shard from each Gemulet... ...and is harnessing their power to create an army of DARK SPIRIT FOLLOWERS. 
*Mabel: Okay, slow down, bro. I only understood like a third of that.
*Dipper: Did you say something about the Shards?
*Fire Guardian: The time for colorful posse has PASSED! Now, go to the Gnome Forest. Defeat Dark Jeff's minions, recover the Shards, and save your friends! Only then you can enter Jeff's new lair on Main Street, and confront him for a final showdown. 
*Dipper: Hey, so if we're all on the same side now, could you help us with the fighting biz? 
*Fire Guardian: Impossible. Without the Gemulets' power, we're completely weak. I'm heading back to my lair to play some board games until Gravity Falls is saved. Good luck!
*Mabel: Waddles! That can't be you!
*Dipper: It's an illusion, Mabel! A dark projection created by Jeff's magic. The REAL Waddles must be somewhere beyond. 
*Mabel: Don't worry, Waddles! We'll save you, my baby! WADDLES!
*Dipper: Jeff's using this Shard to create those dark projections of Waddles! 
*Mabel: Waddles! Tell me it's you. Tell me something only you would know!
*Waddles: Oink!
*Mabel: That's my big! 
*Waddles: Oink!
*Wendy: Huh? Dipper? What happened? I was having this weird dream...
*Dipper: Wendy! You're okay! It's over now. The nightmare is finished!
*Wendy: Nightmare? Dude, it was awesome! I got levitate, and throw axes at people! Send me back! 
*Soos: Wha, where am I? Why am I sweater than normal? 
*Dipper: It's okay, Soos. You're with us now.
*Soos: Dudes! What happened!? One second I was playing my game, riding a SwordEagle through Sword-Earth, and the next I woke up here! 
*Dipper: Jeff cloned you into a Spirit Army of floating phantom monsters! 
*Soos: Whoa. For once, reality is STRANGER than what's in my head.
*Mabel: You stay here, Soos! We have to go save Stan!
*Soos: Sword-Speed, little dudes!
*Dipper: Yeesh! And I thought the original Stan was scary. Grunkle Stan! 
*Mabel: He looks so peaceful...
*Dipper: What if we just left him there?
*Mabel: Eh. He buys our food. We should probably free him. 
*Grunkle Stan: I'm innocent, officer, I swear! Wait ... where am I? KIDS! You saved me! I swear I'll never make you do another menial task again! Don't quote me on that.
*Dipper: Now, that we have all of Jeff's Shards, It's time to fight back! 
*Grunkle Stan: Good! I'll round up the others and find refuge at the shack. Give that punk a knuckle sandwich for your old Grunkle Stan!
*Dipper: Finally, we have them all! Are you ready for our final showdown?
*Mabel: I was born ready, DippingSauce! Let's show Jeff that the power of friendship is greater than the power of darkness! 
*Dipper: Man, this really IS like a '90s animated movie. 
*Mabel: Wow, Jeff's serious about taking over. His decorating decisions through ... not great.
*Dipper: Let's see if these shards will open Jeff's gate.
*Dark Jeff: YOU again?! Why don't you little brats just die already?! Nothing will stop me from becoming the ultimate leader! I have already commissioned an enormous #1 Boss" mug filled with the blood of my enemies! 
*Dipper: Jeff, this isn't you! You're being possessed by a dark spirit! It's not too late to change! 
*Dark Jeff: How about I change YOU into DUST by smashing you with my FIST?! 
*Mabel: Bring it, Jeff! My sweater sleeve's got a date with your FACE! 
*Dark Jeff: HAH! I make you into heroes. I can UNMAKE you just as easily!
*Dipper: This ends ... NOW!
*Dark Jeff: NO! This wasn't in the prophecy! DARK JEFF is supposed to be INVINCIBLE! 
*(Dark Jeff transform back into Jeff the Gnome)
*Jeff the Gnome: Aww ... my head. You think these horn scars are permanet? 
*Dipper: JEFF! You sneaky little...
*Jeff the Gnome: Whoa, easy Dipper. We've got bigger issues. Cover your eyes!
*Dipper: What the... 
*Mabel: AHHH! 
*Dipper: JEFF! What's GOING ON?!
*Jeff the Gnome: So ... even though you defeated my dark form, GREMULARTH is still loose! His powers are greater than ever! Really shoulda read the fine print more carefully. 
*Mabel: What do we do?
*Jeff the Gnome: How should I know? If you haven't noticed, I'm terrible under pressure! I'm so sorry, kids! I failed my Gnomefolk, and I failed you! 
*Mabel: It's not too late, Jeff! This is your chance to finally be a leader! 
*Dipper: Yeah, how do we defeat Gremularth?
*Jeff the Gnome: I would say the best course of action is to... RUN!
*Dipper: Jeff!
*(Jeff the Gnome runs away)
*Dipper: We can do this, Mabel!
*Mabel: ONWARD! FOR WADDLES! What gives!? Our attacks aren't doing ANYTHING! 
*Dipper: It's no use, Mabel! We don't have enough power! 
*Jeff the Gnome: J'QRP'H PDJ'LF L VXPP'RQ W'K'HH!! 
*Mabel: Another incantation? Jeff, haven't you done enough damage already? 
*Dipper: Mabel, my weapons are powering up! He's helping us!
*Mabel: My sweater's all tingly!
*Jeff the Gnome: It's a Gnomish power incantation. No tricks, I swear! It's the best I can do! Get out there and take care of this thing! You can do it! 
*Gremularth: NOOOOOO!!!! DEFEATED BY SMAL LPINK CHILDREN! THE ULTIMATE HUMILATION!!
*Dipper: Flip, Flap...
*Mabel: ...Bloobity Bloop... 
*Dipper: TWINS!
*Mabel: Dipper, we did it!
*Jeff the Gnome: This battle will be remembered forever in gnome legend. I'll have Craig start writing a song about it. 
*Dipper: Jeff...
*Jeff the Gnome: Guys, I'm so sorry about everything. I guess I just cracked under pressure. I'm 500 years old, which in Gnome Years means I was due for a midlife crisis. I never wanted infinite power. All I wanted was respect from my fellow gnomes...
*Mabel: Aw, Jeff, if you want people to respect you, first you gotta respect yourself! Stand up for your ideals, stop worrying about what others say, and probably ease up with the corny jokes.
*Dipper: Also, maybe showering with water instead of squirrels would help. 
*Jeff the Gnome: You really think so?
*Mabel: I know so! Plus, I have a hunch that helping us defeat an ancient evil might earn you some leadership points.
*Dipper: I bet the guys at the office will play foosball with you after this.
*Jeff the Gnome: (Sniffs) 
*???: NOOOOOO!!!!! The After School Special's over. Did anyone remember I'm in CASHING DEBT? Grab the Gemulets, kids. We can sell 'em to pay off my credit cards. 
*Mabel: Hmm... 
*Jeff the Gnome: If the Gemulets can corrupt a heart as pure as mine, there's no telling what they'd do if they fell into the wrong hands! 
*Grunkle Stan: Wait. This is a financial decision. Ethics have no place in this conversation!
*Mabel: I know the perfect place to put them! Let's get the Gemulets and head to the SHACK!
*Grunkle Stan: I think I know what you have in mind, and I don't like it ONE BIT! Are you SURE you wanna throw these babies in the Bottomless Pit? If you do, you'll never see them again. For at least twenty-two minutes. 
*Dipper: That's the idea, Grunkle Stan.
*Grunkle Stan: But, the profits! Thik of the sweet profits! 
*Mabel: Forget profits! All we want is to spend a Family Fun Day with you, Grunkle Stan. Like you promised!
*Grunkle Stan: Heh, that's a pretty good idea, pumpkin. I hate to admit it, but you two kids have really grown on me. 
*Mabel: Admit it! You LOVE US! 
*Grunkle Stan: Yeah, yeah, I totally don't hate you. 
*Dipper: We don't totally hate you too, Grunkle Stan.
*Grunkle Stan: ... Did I ever tell you that I was there the day you two were born? I visited your mom and pop in the hopspital. Still remember like it was yesterday. Mabel came first. Shocked the doctor in the jaw! My little fighter. 
*Mabel: Hehe!
*Grunkle Stan: Dipper's face was blue. Umbilical cord must have wrapped around his neck or something.
*Dipper: Aw, what?!
*Grunkle Stan: When I got a hold of you two I didn't want to let you go. Had to fight Grandpa Shermie just to keep you for another minute. 
*Mabel: You are suc a big softie.
*Grunkle Stan: Let's talk more over fishing, huh? 
*Dipper: You got it, Grunkle Stan! 
*Grunkle Stan: But, first thing's first. Anyway, about your Grandpa Shermie -- that guy was a total square, let me tell you! I mean, who wears a bow-tie to a hosptial? This one time...
*Mabel: Phew! I don't know about you, Dipper, but all this questing really took it out for me. I'm going to start a Quest Scrapbook, while all the details are fresh. Wanna join me?
*Dipper: But, what about everyone's lost items? They aren't going to discover themselves. 
*Mabel: Oh, yeah. All that hidden stuff! WE WILL NOT REST UNTIL EVERY LOST ITEM IS FOUND! Quick question: wanna chuck our weapons in the Bottomless Pit and see what happens?
*Dipper: That IS crazy, Mabel. But, the Soos in me thinks you might be on to something... Questionable decisions have gotten us THIS far. Why not?! WHOA! My Battle Cuffs are humming with energy! My wrists are NUMB! 
*Mabel: The Bottomless Pit barfed up our weapons and gave them more power! That's so sweet! 
*Dipper: Let's go try them out and unsuspecting beasts!
*Grunkle Stan: Kids! My blueprints are missing! I hid them in Waddles' snack though. He must have scattered them all over Gravity Falls! Those blueprints are top secret and must be found! Grab 'em if you see any. They could be anywhere! 
*Soos: Hey Dudes, haven't you seen any floppy disks lying around, have you? What's a floppy disk, you ask? It's an ancient form of data storage, used in bygone days by the nerds of old. Really useful for keeping things secret, since nobody has computers that can read them anymore. If you find any floppy disks during your travels, could you pick 'em up? They've got some really important, top, technical uh ... stuff on them. 
*Dipper: This exhibit says "The Snackpocalypse Calendar." "Made from chocolate and pretzels, this ancient circle describes the coming of an era of deliciousness. You break it, you eat it." 
*Jeff the Gnome: Boy, I really went overboard back there, guys. Man, my face is red!
*Schmebulock: Schmebulock! 
*Dipper: We found all your books, Schmebulock! They're awfully advanced.
*Mabel: "Critique of Pure Reason" by Immanuel Kant? "Truth as Subjectively" by Soren Kiekegaard? Are you sure these are yours?
*Schmebulock: Schmebulock!
*Mabel: I guess he's smarter than we give him credit for.
*Schmebulock: Plqh lv exw d vrolwdub halvwhqfh. L uhdg. L srqghu. L vwduh dw wkh khdyhqv. Erxqwhrxv lv rxu exw fuxho iv wkh pdvwhy ri lv wkh pdvwhu ri lw zkr frqghpqhg ph wr vdb exw rqob pb qdph. Shukdsv pb lvrodwlrq pb jliw. lru lw lv vhsdudwirq iurp rwkhuv skdw d plqg fqg wuob eh iuhh! 
*Dipper: WHOA, what was that?
*Mabel: Probably nothing.
*Grunkle Stan: You found my BLUEPRINTS! Bang up job, kids! Want me to tell you what I'm building? So you remember that "I HEART KIDS" hot air balloon I made of my own face? 
*Dipper: Yeah, some letters fell off and it spelled "I EAT KIDS." The children of Gravity Falls were scarred for life!
*Mabel: Thank goodness it exploded! 
*Grunkle Stan: I'm REBUILDING it! I'm gonna start a side-business where parents pay me to terrify their children into doing chores. I already have Thompson's mom as my first client. Apparently, he is a VERY picky eater.
*Waddles: (Grumbles)
*Mabel: Starve no longer, my poor Waddles. We found all of your SNACKS!
*Waddles: Oink! Oink!
*Mabel: Seeing a smile on my pig's face is the greatest reward! I love you, Waddles! 
*Dipper: Aw, that's so swee-- 
*Mabel: SHH! he's communicated with me telepathically! He's saying he loves me too!
*Dipper: That's ridiculous, Mabel.
*Mabel: What's that, Waddles? Now, he's saying ... that you're a big dork. HA-ha! 
*Dipper: Dumb pig.
*Soos: Dude, score! You found my FLOPPY DISKS! Each one containing nearly 1 whole KB of data! Okay, I'll share you with the secret of what i keep within. It's a love poem for Melody! I'll translate it out of binary for you, dudes. "Roses are red. Ham is pink. I've really grown to like you I think." "The day we met lives on in my brain. I'm glad I rode that plastic train." "I used to be scared of ladies and stuff. But, when I'm with you I can't get enough." 'I have something to say and I hope it's not rude. I really, really like you, dude." Aw man, now I'm totes embrassed. If you guys could re-hide those disks for me that would be great! 
*Wendy: Alright! You found my cassettes! Wanna hear the track list? these bands are all really alt. You'ev probbaly never heard of them. 1) Splinter in my Soul -- Woodgrain on Everything 2) My Heart Is Like a Scarf -- Scarves indoors 3) Avoid Eye Contact -- The Bad 1st Impressions 4) Dawg You're My Dawg, Dawg -- Lil Bigg Dawgg 5) Lumberjack GIrl -- Flannel Animals 6) Cray Cray -- Several Timez Uh ... ignore that last one. 
*Pacifica Northwest: Oh my gosh, oh my fosh, you did it! I could totally HUG both of you! But, I won't. I mean, ew, can you imagine?
*Mabel: Didn't you hug Dipper that one time at your mansion?
*Dipper: No! Never! 
*Pacifica Northwest: As if!
*Dipper: That's crazy! 
*Pacifica Northest: Say that again and I'll SUE you. 
*Mabel: I'll ... leave you two alone. Ha- ha!
*Dipper: Mabel!
*Grenda: Whoa, you found all my DUMBBELLS! Thanks, you two!
*Dipper: Hey Grenda, do you think someday yo ucould teach ME how to chuck dumbbells at moving targets?
*Grenda: Yeah, right, Dipper. You gotta muscle up first!
*Mabel: Grenda, how'd you get so Cray-Cray?
*Grenda: I'm just BORN WITH IT, girlfriend! 
*Candy Chiu: You did it! You found my Monster-Mon fanfic NOVELS! 
*Mabel: They're all here, including the tales of Rocket! Squirt-Boar! Electro-Lard!
*Dipper: He evolves into Electro-LORD! 
*Candy Chiu: You two are the best! And Dipper, I'm impressed wih your knowledge. We'll talk later. 
*Robbie: You again. Great.
*Mabel: We found your complete LYRICS pages, Robbie. Wanna hear them?
*Robbie: Hey! Gimmie those!
*Mabel: "Moon-Wolf, by Robbie V" Ahem ... "My hormones are like a sweaty cage. They fill me with apocalyptic rage..." 
*Robbie: Hey, come on!
*Mabel: "My mom tried to ground me! It was lame! But, this Moon-Wolf cannot be tamed!" "I sat on the roof and cried and cried. My righteous truth can't be denied..." 
*Robbie: It's a metaphor, you losers!
*Dipper: "I'm tortured from my secret shame. No one must learn my middle name: STACEY." 
*Robbie: Aw, come ON!
*Mabel: Hey, I liked it! I thought it was deep!
*Robbie: Pssh. Like you would know. (Whispers) Thank you so much!
*Jeff the Gnome: Oh! My DIARY PAGES. How much can I pay you to pretend you didn't read those? 
*Mabel: We read the whole thing twice! "Chapter Two: I've been watching Pacifica Northwest from the garden..." "...nnd I think I may have found my next potential queen. Practicing pretending to be a gentleman."
*Dipper: And then there's like 12 pages where you talk about your lost baby blanket. 
*Jeff the Gnome: How can I ever thank you? Oh, I know! I'll see if I have any of Brad's memory-wiping scrolls. How'd ya like that? ... Please don't tell anyone how strange I am. 
==Gallery==
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Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Shows