Trust

Intimidated was NOT the right word for her predicament.Keola had a good relationship with every one of the members of Guardian, especially the officers. They had all looked out for her as Xethra’s ward beyond Xethras wishes. Keola was a part of Guardian now, a big one – she was their main healer now, and ascended to Xethras primary consort after the betrayal of Seton. She hardly needed looking out for anymore, but being an ever coveted medic…perhaps it was just habit. Most of the everyday runnings of the guild were still handled by Xethra, but the field work was taken care of primarily by Devesh and Mirrass. Xethra occasionally stepped in to wield her authority where it was needed, with Keola being the little messenger girl.She now knew every corner and crevice of the Citadel, every trick of the Coliseum, and could counter virtually every malignancy into the madness of Ulduar. Keola had become a very powerful druid in a very short time. She had grown into a strong girl – woman now. She was grown, with a mate, she was a woman. Keola still wasn’t used to thinking of herself in that way. But now standing before Xethra, beside her fellow officers of Guardian, being stared down as if she were a steer for slaughter...Keola hardly felt the confident being that she had become.Heading the line of scrimmage was Devesh. He was extra large and scarred for a Tauren, and never spoke of his service to the Lich King. He was an ever loyal member of the guild probably somehow related to Horarz, and usually a silly one. Humor could have been a defense mechanism, but there was one hardly more reliable than Devesh. Just having him take those two steps ahead of the group, hefting his huge axes, ready to defend to his death…no one could deny his presence was a breath of confidence. Xethra had been immediately suspicious of the Death Knight like everyone else, but now they could hardly imagine a crusade without him.Beside Devesh was another strong Tauren bull, the steadfast and tactical commander Mirrass. He exuded peace and tranquility like any other deeply imbued and trained shaman. He was the level headed voice of reason whenever lids had been flipped, and was usually the one breaking up the venomous beratings before they even happened. Mirrass had done most of the battle plans for their expeditions into the Icecrown Citadel, with careful treading and collaboration with Devesh. His depth of knowledge was vast and he was forever researching, studying, and analyzing the enemy.Keola stood immediately to Mirass’ right and beside the childish assassin, Destiney Giver. Despite his youth, Destiney was as experienced as they rest of them. He never stepped forward to be as strong a commanding presence as the others, but his silliness and his deadly stealth were an important part of the equation still. He was one of the few people in the entire world who could get away with pestering and annoying Xethra to the point of murder…and somehow avoid her wrath. Perhaps they had some kind of understanding, seeing as the both of them were afflicted Forsaken.Bringing up the end of the line, the newest but certainly not the weakest officer to Guardian’s line up was the brash, egotistical, ruthless hunter Koden. Koden was very much full of pride like any other Orc. Sometimes, perhaps a little too proud. His prowess as a hunter was known across the lands, and he was another member who would be loyal to Guardian to the death. His wolf, as stupid as the creature was, shared his masters’ zeal. Always alert and carrying out his duties without questions, he was a reflection of Koden’s loyalty and passion as well. Currently, he was sniffing around Destineys crotch, suspicious of something or other. Destineys death grip on his poisoned dagger did not deter the creature as Koden hid a smug smirk behind his huge helm. Destiney’s silliness seemed to be rubbing off at the wrong time, as usual.“Our progress seems to have stymied.” Xethra said, tapping at her chin. “We need more experienced soldiers. Keola and Devesh especially are tiring.” With that, Xethra launched into a short status of the other main soldiers in the guild’s order, with varying good and bad news for each.“I’m fine, Miss Xethra.” Keola spoke up during one of the warlock’s pauses. “I don’t need a break. I make sure that I’m rested for every run.”“Leigheas will be back with us shortly. ““No need to rush him back into duty,” Keola said, stealing a glance to Mirrass on her left.“Both crusades need experienced healers. If he is fit, he will be on the line.” Xethra said, leaning back against her desk. “If you continue to sleep for days, I will remove you from service.”“I was fighting off a cold, I am better now.” Keola said, picking at a small fray on her leather belt.“I can’t have you holding the team back. I am sure a week off will be good. Geranguas will take you somewhere to rest.”“Ger goes with Devesh and Mirrass into the Citadel. He won’t really be happy about being told he can’t go, and you need more people for the team. I won’t stand back.““Are you trying to defy me?” Xethra stood up, visibly angered judging by her unusually stiff posture.“We can work something out to give Keola time to rest this week,” Mirrass said. “I am sure it would do her well.”Xethra didn’t seem to hear him, her gaze hard on Keola. “It would be wise for you to do as I say.”“Miss Xethra, I don’t think we can afford it. We’re so close to the Lich King…we can’t just give up now.” Keola pleaded, hands clasped before her.“I’m not asking you to give up. I am telling you that you need to rest.” Xethra said.“I’m not going home, I’m going with the rest of the team into the Citdael,” Keola said simply.“You will do as you’re told.” Xethra said, her slight form almost shaking now with rage.“I think it’s time that we left, ma’am.” Devesh said brightly. “Unless there is anything else?”Xethra waved him off. “Dismissed. Not you, Druid.”Keola looked down at the floor, suddenly full of fear as the other officers shuffled out. Xethra was not in a good mood, if she was beyond familiar pleasantries. Destiney gave her a pat on the arm as he passed, as if reassuring her. As soon as Koden was through the door, Xethra yanked it shut loudly and turned to fix her fel glare upon the younger woman.“What. Was.That.About.” Xethra barked.“I just don’t think-““I don’t really care what you think.” Xethra spat, clenching her fists in rage. “I will not lose you, or any other member of this team. I will order Geranguas to lock you up, if I have to.”“He wouldn’t do it,” Keola said slowly. “At least he trusts me-““It’s not a matter of trust!” Xethra screeched. She launched herself forward to attempt to frighten Keola, but succeeded only in hopping around on her tip-toes in an attempt to scream in her face. “It’s a matter of survival. You never were very good at looking out for yourself. Why do you think I tolerate Geranguas?”“I was just fine before I met Ger!”“Only you would call rolling around in bed with an elf ‘fine’. “ Xethra mocked.“People make mistakes,” Keola said, turning her head to the side to stare at the wall.“Of course you do,” Xethra said, finally turning to throw herself down into the large chair behind her cluttered, oversized work desk. The tiny office was just as small and sparse as Xethra’s own apartment, and just as confining at times.“I don’t want to take the potions anymore, either.” Keola said quickly, turning her gaze the floor.She was prepared for the verbal onslaught, or for things to be thrown at her. A book, quills, shadow bolts, something…but the silence was eerie. Keola blinked and counted slowly to ten before trailing her eyes up the desk to Xethra’s frozen stare.“What brought this on?” Xethra said slowly, fighting to control herself.“I just am not sure what exactly is it they are, or why I’m drinking them. I mean, I think I know…but I really don’t see why you are so worried about me when I should think about me on my own, and just kinda deal with things as they come at me instead of being all paranoid about stuff all of the time.” Keola rambled a little.“I suppose you thought it up yourself. “ Xethra surmised.“I really did.” Keola said, looking back down at the floor again.“Do you know what may happen to you? Your career? Or this guild if you cease the treatments?” Xethra asked, standing with both hands flat on her desk.Keola shook her head ‘no’, glancing at her matron…she was very glad the large desk was still between the two.“Knowing you, and the eyes you bat at your mate…you would end up with child. Sooner than later.” Xethra said, tossing one arm out in some angry gesture. “You can’t expect to keep up a full pace. Not in that condition. Not for very long. Even if I let you, one day Geranguas would step up. True, you would not be with child long.”“But!” Xethra barked for emphasis. “Then comes the care of a child. I’m no babysitter. None of us are. You will be at home, with the child. Watching the skies. Hoping we come home. And the day we don’t…you will forever wonder if it was because of you.”“I don’t even know if that’s possible, with someone like Ger.” Keola murmured.“You would rather tank the chance?”“I think I would.”Xethra threw herself down into her chair again, burying her face in her hands. Keola fixed her gaze on the floor again.“You are so stupid." Xethra murmured. "Fucking stupid. You always have been.”“Then when you retire you won’t make me guild leader.”“Who else?” Xethra asked quietly.“I can think of a lot of people who would make a better leader than me.”“It would be you. How you delegated things after that is up to you.”“Miss Xethra,” Keola started, and then sighed. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me really I do but…I don’t think I can be what you need me to be.”“I suppose I have made my own mistakes.” Xethra grumbled. “You will make a fine leader for Guardian. When the time is right, of course. If you take what you learn from me, and your fellow members, seriously.”“I do! I swear upon the Earthmother, I do!” Keola choked, pausing to rub the tears from her eyes. “I just want…I just…want you to trust me too, Miss Xethra. I want you to trust me as much as I trust you, and as much as you trust everyone else in Guardian. I’ve done everything that I can to try to make you happy and it’s never good enough. Why am I not good enough for you? What have I done wrong?”Keola covered her face in shame when Xethra turned away from her. She couldn’t help the tears streaming freely down her muzzle, couldn’t hold her breath to stifle the sobs. She felt confined and restricted as she always did in Xethra’s presence. So much…that she didn’t notice when the tiny warlock pulled Keola down to her to wrap her in a surprisingly tender embrace.“I do.” Xethra said. “I do trust you. I still worry.”Keola burst out into wailing, crying buckets of tears, gripping Xethra to her as she bawled. Tears of fear, joy, fright…she didn’t know. Xethra for once just held her.Keola finally pulled away and wiped at her eyes again, staring at the lapel on Xethra’s robe rather than at her face. “T-t-thanks. I’m ok.”“Look. I am not going to go easy on you. But I won’t make you do anything that you don’t want to.” Xethra said, trying to seem aloof with her arms crossed over her chest. “But I will tell you when I disagree.”Keola smiled shakily. “That’s fine. That’s ok. I think I need it sometimes. Thank you so much..I’m sorry…”“Just be alright? Maybe you should find Geranguas, spend some time with him.” Xethra said between gritted teeth.“No, he’ll be fine as long as I am home on time.” Keola said, giving Xethra one more brief hug. “I think I will go make a new friend…”
Tags: Keola, Xethra