Wilson/Quotes/Hamlet

Wilson's quotes are spoken when the player examines an in-game item or object. The player can alt-click items and objects to examine them.
Due to the amount of text catalogued, this page only contains Wilson's quotes for items found in . For items exclusive to other expansions, see the pages listed above.
==Tools==
*Shears- "Shearly delightful."
==Lights==
*Cork Candle Hat- "What a bright idea!"
*Cowl- "A hat, made of bat."
==Survival==
*Bug B'Gone- "Take that, bugs!"
*Bird Whistle- "For the birds."
==Food==
*Sprinkler- "Water you think it's for?"
==Science==
*Smelter- "I smelt that!"
*Oscillating Fan- "Fan-tastic."
==Fight==
*Halberd- "Now I can't be caught off-guard."
*Cork Bat- "Put a cork in it."
*Weevole Mantle- "Yeesh. This is kinda creepy."
*Mant Mask- "There's still some goo stuck to the insides."
*Mant Suit- "It's brittle."
*Fancy Helmet- "Protects my brains."
*Tin Suit- "Science says I'm safe in here."
*Blunderbuss- "Well, this will come in handy."
==Structures==
*Cork Barrel- "Room for two. Or three."
==Refine==
*Claw Palm Sapling- "Science at work."
==Magic==
*Hogus Porkusator- "More science for my brain!"
*Pugalisk Wand- "Sends shivers down my spine."
*Skyworthy (non-Hamlet world)- "Entrance-ing."
*Skyworthy (Hamlet world)- "That's exit-ing!"
*Living Artifact- "It's alive. ALIVE!"
*Root Trunk- "It rooted out all my things!"
*Vortex Cloak- "Ha ha! Take that nightmares!"
==Dress==
*Gas Mask- "Now I can breath anywhere."
*Pith Hat- "Pithy."
*Thunderhat- "Does this hat make me look scientific?"
==Nautical==
*Cork Bowl Canoe- "An accident waiting to happen."
==​Treasure Hunting==
*Disarming Tools- "A trap for traps!"
*Ball Pein Hammer- "It's a tiny little hammer."
*Gold Pan- "Critics panned it."
*Magnifying Glass- "Science awaits!"
==​City Planning==
*Lamp Post (off)- "Lusterless."
*Lamp Post (on)- "Plain fire. No science involved."
*Town House- "Both a house, and a home."
*Town House (burning)- "That house is on fire!"
*The Sterling Trough Deli- "A place to eat."
*The Sterling Trough Deli (burning)- "It's on fire!"
*Pigg and Pigglet's General Store- "A common store full of common goods."
*Pigg and Pigglet's General Store (burning)- "That shop is on fire!"
*Curly Tails Mud Spa- "I could use a fix-me-up."
*Curly Tails Mud Spa (burning)- "That spa is on fire!"
*Swinesbury Fine Grocer's- "There's fresh produce in there."
*Swinesbury Fine Grocer's (burning)- "The food is on fire!"
*Miss Sow's Floral Arrangements- "A garden variety shop."
*Miss Sow's Floral Arrangements (burning)- "The flowers are burning!"
*'The Sty' Oddities Emporium- "A lot of strange things in there."
*'The Sty' Oddities Emporium (burning)- "It's on fire."
*The Flying Pig Arcane Shop- "This could put a twinkle in my eye."
*The Flying Pig Arcane Shop (burning)- "The knowledge is burning!"
*The Boar's Tusk Weapon Shop- "Instruments of destruction."
*The Boar's Tusk Weapon Shop (burning)- "The weapons are on fire!"
*The Sow's Ear Hat Shop- "A place to hang your hat."
*The Sow's Ear Hat Shop (burning)- "The hats are on fire!"
*Swinesbury Academy- "I can smell the history."
*Swinesbury Academy (burning)- "The museum is on fire!"
*Swinesbury Mineral Exchange- "Ah. A useful place for a change."
*Swinesbury Mineral Exchange (burning)- "It's burning."
*The Tinkerer's Tower- "For science-ing!"
*The Tinkerer's Tower (burning)- "Appears to be... burning."
*Swinesbury City Hall- "The local lawmaker."
*Swinesbury City Hall (burning)- "It wasn't me."
*My City Hall- "I'm a Gentleman Politician now."
*My City Hall (burning)- "Who would do that?!"
*Security Contract- "It says I can hire my own town guard."
*Slanty Shanty- "Who would want to live there?"
*Slanty Shanty (owned)- "Home sweet home."
*Slanty Shanty (burnt)- "I hope the insurance will cover that."
*Watch Tower- "It's surprisingly sturdy."
*Watch Tower (burning)- "The tower is on fire!"
==​Renovate==
*House Expansion Permit- "My new lab awaits!"
*Demolition Permit- "Time to demonstrate some demolition."
==Nature - Plants==
*Claw Palm Tree- "I'm in-tree-ged."
*Cork- "Science says it floats."
*Rainforest Tree- "A tropical tree."
*Rainforest Tree (burning)- "It's done for."
*Rainforest Tree (burnt)- "Burnt up."
*Rainforest Tree (stump)- "Not sure what it is. I'm stumped."
*Sick Rainforest Tree- "De-blight-ful."
*Cocooned Tree- "Wooden."
*Jungle Burr- "Something's inside, I just know it!"
*Rainforest Tree Sapling- "
*Tea Tree- "What a lovely tree."
*Seed Pod- "Stops the seasonal sneezing."
*Tea Tree Sapling- "It's a little puny."
*Tuber Tree- "An axe won't cut it."
*Tall Grass- "It's too tough to pick with my hands."
*Tall Grass (cut)- "Looks like I got it all."
*Tall Grass (burning)- "A grass fire!"
*Exotic Flower- "It smells vaguely tolerable."
*Aloe (planted)- "A plant with many uses."
*Asparagus (planted)- "I should pick those!"
*Radish (planted)- "It's trying to hide."
*Nettle Vine- "This plant's strong odor clears my sinuses."
*Nettle Vine (picked)- "I'm sure it will grow back."
*Nettle Vine (withered)- "It really doesn't like this dirt."
*Nettle Vine (moist)- "It looks all watered and happy."
*Nettle Plant (held)- "Science says this needs dirt, fast!"
*Bramble- "An overly complicated spiky thing."
*Bramble Bloom- "It's pretty, but is it worth the trouble?"
*Hanging Vine- "Always hanging around."
*Great Leafy Stalk- "It totally blocks out the sun."
*Lotus Plant- "The science is blooming well this season."
*Lily Pad- "It's full of science. I can tell."
*Reeds (Water)- "Aquatic reeds."
*Lawn Decoration- "A bit of ornamentation."
*Lawn Decoration (burning)- "Take that, gratuitous decoration!"
*Lawn Decoration (burnt)- "Well, it's gone now."
*Hedge- "It's been neatly kept."
*Hedge (untrimmed)- "It looks like it could use a shave."
*Hedge (burning)- "It's burning."
*Hedge (burnt)- "Glad that's over with."
*Intricate Topiary- "To think the artist had only hoofs to work with."
*Magic Flower- "Sure likes looking at itself."
*Weathered Branch- "Something big moved that there."
*Weathered Shrub- "Looks bushed."
*Weathered Stick- "A sticky situation."
*Weathered Tree- "Science says it's a tree."
*Weathered Trunk- "What could've broken that?"
==Nature - Objects==
*Stone Slab- "You never know what you'll find under a rock."
*Dung Pile- "It's a pile of dung."
*Dung Pile (picked)- "Dung and dung."
*Dung Ball- "Most definitely poop."
*Thundernest- "An electrifying discovery!"
*Iron Hulk (head)- "I'm heading out of here!"
*Iron Hulk (arm)- "Careful, it's armed!"
*Iron Hulk (ribcage)- "All that iron should be mine."
*Iron Hulk (leg)- "Not a leg to stand on."
*Large Iron Hulk (partially assembled)- "It's not quite done yet."
*Iron Ore- "Isn't it ironic?"
*Sparkling Pool- "Pool's gold."
*Gold Dust- "Aw... it's hardly worth anything."
*Gnat Mound- "Science says it's gnad good."
*Farm House- "It's a peaceful life."
*Farm House (burning)- "That farm is on fire!"
*Quarry Lodgings- "I have no quarry with them."
*Quarry Lodgings (burning)- "The mine is on fire!"
*Secret Bandit Camp- "Treasure!"
*Cave Cleft- "A den of bloodsuckers."
*Ruinous Entrance- "Looks like an adventure to be had."
*Mandrake Hill- "It looks... screamy."
*Mant Hill- "This must be where those giant bugs live."
*Crumbling Brazier- "A few sticks or logs will brighten this up."
*Crumbling Visage- "Looks like a headache."
*Ancient Wall- "It's an old wall."
*Fountain of Youth- "I prefer fountains of knowledge."
*Ominous Carving- "Well that looks ominous."
*Teetering Pillar- "Defying the laws of science."
*Deflated Balloon- "That bursts my balloon."
*Wicker Basket- "A complete basket case."
*Monogrammed Luggage A- "I'll just leave that here."
*Monogrammed Luggage B- "I don't want to lug that luggage around."
*Useless Flags- "I guess it raised some red flags."
*Bag of Sand- "It's been sandbagged."
*Petrified Egg (1)- "Eggshell-ent"
*Petrified Egg (2)- "What eggsactly is that?"
*Petrified Egg (3)- "That makes me egg-stremely nervous."
*Petrified Egg (4)- "Egg-sploded."
*Rusty Lamp- "Busted and rusted."
*Weathered House- "Anyone home?"
*Stone Thing- "Looks like a job for a Gentleman Scientist!"
*Lever Thing- "I'll find a use for it."
*Rock Thing- "I could explain the science behind it, but I don't want to."
*Relic Thing- "I haven't seen a lot of those around."
*Iron Thing- "It's pulsating with science."
==Nature - Caves==
*Spooky Hole- "Smells like a million giant bats."
*Unimportant Rock Pillar- "It's holding up the roof."
==Nature - Ruinous Caves==
*A Smashing Pot- "That pot looks smashing!"
*Dart Trap- "I wish it wasn't quite so striking."
*Nasty Spear Trap- "I wonder what wonders hide in there?"
*Busted Spear Trap- "Take that booby traps!"
*Tempting Idol- "These ruins have been ruined."
*Eroding Totem- "I could probably sell that to one of those pigs."
*Unimportant Pillar- "It's holding up the roof."
*Vines- "Creepy creepers."
*Wall Brazier- "A few sticks or logs will brighten this up."
*Wishing Well- "What are the probabilities of this working?"
*End's Well- "I should offer it something."
*Aporkalypse Calendar- "Looks scientifically apocalyptic."
==Nature - Mant Hill==
*Antcomb Home- "Looks like it houses insects."
*Honey Chest- "Takes its sweet time making honey."
*Lamp- "Provides some light in an otherwise dark existence."
*Mant Warrior Egg- "Don't hatch. Don't hatch. Don't hatch..."
*Stalacmite Throne- "I should break that. For science."
==Nature - Palace==
*Palace- "Majestic."
*Royal Gallery Exhibit- "Fancy enough to be behind glass."
==Turfs==
*Lawn Turf, Cultivated Turf, Beard Hair Rug, Dense Turf, Rainforest Turf, Wild Plains Turf, Painted Sand Turf, and Mossy Turf- "It's a chunk of ground."
*Flat Stone Turf and Stone Road Turf- "Some nicely cobbled together rocks."
==Mobs - Monsters==
*Ancient Spirit- "Scientifically impossible."
*Giant Grub- "I'm not going anywhere near that!"
*Gnat Swarm- "Better gnat go near those guys."
*Hanging Vine- "Always hanging around."
*Mant Warrior- "I don't like the look of him."
*Masked Pig- "Swindling swine."
*Swashy Hat- "A shadowy chapeau."
*Bandit Stash Map- "A map to where that thief hid all his treasure!"
*Poison Dartfrog- "A pernicious amphibian."
*Rabid Beetle- "Looks deranged."
*Rabid Beetle (sleeping)- "In a slumber."
*Rabid Beetle (dead)- "A late beetle."
*Scorpion- "That better not be poisonous."
*Scorpion (sleeping)- "Now'd be a good time to smush it."
*Scorpion (dead)- "It's dead. Good."
*Snaptooth Seedling- "Plants shouldn't move! That's just science!"
*Snaptooth Seedling (sleeping)- "Sleep well, horrible plant."
*Snaptooth Seedling (dead)- "Cadaverous."
*Snaptooth Flytrap- "Science could not have done this."
*Snaptooth Flytrap (sleeping)- "Shhh. It's sleeping."
*Snaptooth Flytrap (dead)- "Bereft of life."
*Spider Monkey- "That thing is rather large!"
*Spider Monkey (sleeping)- "I don't want to wake it."
*Spider Monkey (dead)- "That's that."
*Vampire Bat- "I'd prefer to keep all of my blood."
*Vampire Bat (sleeping)- "Hopefully it won't get up again."
*Vampire Bat (dead)- "I feel a bit safer."
*Pig Skin?- "Is the bat hide hiding in there?"
*Viper- "Agh! Stay away!"
*Weevole- "Whee!"
*Weevole Carapace- "I'll be careful with this carapace."
==Mobs - Neutral Animals==
*Elder Mandrake- "Large and screamy."
*Hippopotamoose- "Large and pointy-headed."
*Hippopotamoose Antler- "This ought to be of some use."
*Mant- "What a huge bug!"
*Mant (sleeping)- "An bug at rest will stay at rest."
*Mant (dead)- "Exterminated."
*Platapine- "A spinny spiny sort."
*Platapine (sleeping)- "Good. It's sleeping."
*Platapine (dead)- "Haha. It's dead."
*Platapine Quill- "It's boring."
*Pog- "Science says it's always hungry."
*Pog (follower)- "It's friendly, for now."
*Pog (sleeping)- "I'll let it rest."
*Pog (Aporkalypse)- "Yikes! What's that!"
*Royal Guard- "Please don't arrest me."
*Royal Guard (sleeping)- "Not so intimidating now, are you?"
*Royal Guard (palace variant)- "Hello, officer."
*Royal Guard (palace variant, sleeping)- "I guess he doesn't really want to keep his job."
==Mobs - Passive Animals==
*Banker- "The Money Man."
*Banker (sleeping)- "Working Banker's hours I see."
*Beautician- "What a beauty..."
*Beautician (sleeping)- "She's getting her beauty sleep."
*Collector- "Impress me."
*Collector (sleeping)- "He's taking a nap."
*Erudite- "What items of esoteria have you to sell?"
*Erudite (sleeping)- "Well, that's one way to restock nightmare fuel."
*Farmer- "I hope he doesn't farm pigs."
*Farmer (sleeping)- "Dreaming of manure."
*Florist- "Garden variety villager."
*Florist (sleeping)- "Wouldn't she prefer a flower bed?"
*Hatmaker- "Hats off to you, hatmaker."
*Hatmaker (sleeping)- "A tip of the hat to anyone able to sleep so soundly."
*Hunter- "Do you have killing implements available here?"
*Hunter (sleeping)- "Killing time."
*Mayor Truffleston- "I didn't vote for him."
*Mayor Truffleston (sleeping)- "Typical. Sleeping on the job."
*Miner- "How industrious."
*Miner (sleeping)- "Mining for dreams."
*Professor- "How are you still alive?"
*Professor (sleeping)- "Old people nap a lot."
*Pig Queen- "She looks bossy."
*Shopkeep- "Good day, shopkeep."
*Shopkeep (sleeping)- "That can't be comfortable."
*Usher- "Likes the sweet stuff."
*Usher (sleeping)- "He's sleeping."
*Worker- "Mr. Fix-it."
*Worker (sleeping)- "Taking a rest."
*Kingfisher- "What a pointy bill!"
*Kingfisher (sleeping)- "In a slumber."
*Kingfisher (dead)- "Perished."
*Parrot- "An azure bird."
*Parrot (sleeping)- "It's just resting."
*Parrot (dead)- "An ex-parrot."
*Pigeon- "It's only carrying a couple diseases."
*Pigeon (sleeping)- "It's fast asleep."
*Pigeon (dead)- "It has passed."
*Dung Beetle- "She's on a roll."
*Dung Beetle (without Dung Ball)- "She needs to get her dung together."
*Dung Beetle (sleeping)- "She's pooped."
*Dung Beetle (dead)- "Dung for."
*Glowfly- "A light aflight."
*Glowfly (sleeping)- "Out like a light."
*Glowfly (dead)- "Lights out forever."
*Glowfly (cocoon)- "Snug as a bug."
*Pangolden- "You're not getting my gold."
*Peagawk- "That bush is alive!"
*Peagawk (hiding)- "Look! An iris bush."
*Peagawk (sleeping)- "It's getting some shut-eye."
*Peagawk (dead)- "Dead-eyed."
*Peagawk Plume- "Still blinking."
*Piko- "He's a bit of a nut job."
*Piko (sleeping)- "Probably dreaming of trees."
*Piko (dead)- "I feel kinda bad."
*Orange Piko- "For some reason I'm craving tea."
*Thunderbird- "A shocking sight!"
*Thunder Feather- "My current favorite."
==Mobs - Tallbird family==
*Pugalisk- "Scientifically speaking, it shouldn't exist."
*Snake Bone- "Ha ha, snake. I have your bone."
*Petrifying Bones- "Petrifying."
*Pugalisk Skull- "A numbskull."
*Queen Womant- "The Queen regn-ant."
*Royal Crown- "Don't mess up my hair, crown."
*Ancient Herald- "Metaphisical end-ity."
*Dark Tatters- "I hope he doesn't want this back."
*Large Iron Hulk- "I regret causing that."
*Infused Iron- "Metal touched with science."
==Mobs - Bosses==
*Maxameleon- "I already don't like that guy."
*BFB (head)- "Three heads are better than one."
*BFB (leg)- "A leg up."
*BFB (tail)- "The tail end."
==Mobs - Other==
*Poison Dartfrog Legs- "Looks noxious."
*Cooked Dartfrog Legs- "Tainted fricassee."
*Gummy Slug- "Small and gelatinous."
*Cooked Gummy Slug- "I have to be pretty desperate for food."
==Food - Meats==
*Aloe- "Scientifical and nutritional."
*Cooked Aloe- "I cooked it!"
*Asparagus- "A vegetable."
*Cooked Asparagus- "Science says it's good for me."
*Bean Bugs- "Beans. With legs."
*Cooked Bean Bugs- "I'm sure it tastes better than it looks."
*Lotus Flower- "A lovely science flower."
*Cooked Lotus Root- "A delicacy."
*Nettle- "Science says the sharp edges are good for my lungs."
*Radish- "It looks radishing."
*Cooked Radish- "I wonder if this makes it tastes better."
*Tuber- "Too bad tuber."
*Fried Tuber- "I wonder if it's still poisonous?"
*Blooming Tuber- "It's a blooming tuber!"
*Fried Blooming Tuber- "Did I cook the flower too?"
==Food - Fruits==
*Asparagus Soup- "Smells like it tastes."
*Feijoada- "With refried rock dwellers."
*Gummy Cake- "Chewy and confectionary."
*Hard Shell Tacos- "I'm going to pretend I don't know what's in it."
*Iced Tea- "I scream for iced tea."
*Nettle Rolls- "Innocuous inoculation."
*Snake Bone Soup- "The best way to serve snake."
*Spicy Vegetable Stinger- "Can you use the celery as a straw?"
*Steamed Ham Sandwich- "Science says it's a hamburger."
*Tea- "Tea time!"
==Food - Vegetables==
*Aloe- "Scientifical and nutritional."
*Cooked Aloe- "I cooked it!"
*Asparagus- "A vegetable."
*Cooked Asparagus- "Science says it's good for me."
*Bean Bugs- "Beans. With legs."
*Cooked Bean Bugs- "I'm sure it tastes better than it looks."
*Lotus Flower- "A lovely science flower."
*Cooked Lotus Root- "A delicacy."
*Nettle- "Science says the sharp edges are good for my lungs."
*Radish- "It looks radishing."
*Cooked Radish- "I wonder if this makes it tastes better."
*Tuber- "Too bad tuber."
*Fried Tuber- "I wonder if it's still poisonous?"
*Blooming Tuber- "It's a blooming tuber!"
*Fried Blooming Tuber- "Did I cook the flower too?"
==Food - Crock Pot==
*Asparagus Soup- "Smells like it tastes."
*Feijoada- "With refried rock dwellers."
*Gummy Cake- "Chewy and confectionary."
*Hard Shell Tacos- "I'm going to pretend I don't know what's in it."
*Iced Tea- "I scream for iced tea."
*Nettle Rolls- "Innocuous inoculation."
*Snake Bone Soup- "The best way to serve snake."
*Spicy Vegetable Stinger- "Can you use the celery as a straw?"
*Steamed Ham Sandwich- "Science says it's a hamburger."
*Tea- "Tea time!"
==Food - Other==
*Clippings- "Evidence of my hard labor."
*Cooked Seed Pod- "Take that, tiny tree!"
*Flytrap Stalk- "I bet I could find a use for it."
*Nectar- "I could use this to make honey."
*Magic Water- "Water you think it does?"
*Aloe Seeds- "It's an aloe seed."
*Asparagus Seeds- "It's asparagus seeds."
*Radish Seeds- "It's a radish seed."
==Misc Items==
*Oinc- "It's gotta be worth something."
*Tenpiece Oinc- "I'm rich!"
*Centapiece Oinc- "A coin worth my gentlemanly stature."
*Executive Hammer- "For hammering out the details."
*Lost Idol- "A priceless piece of history."
*Lost Totem- "The relic of an ancient culture."
*Relic Fragment- "Looks valuable."
*The Blue Sow- "A regal relic."
*The Jeweled Truffle- "It's an old fancy feast."
*Pherostone- "A nasaltelepathical bug communicator."
*Alloy- "Ahoy there, alloy!"
*Chitin- "Bug coating."
*Stalking Stick- "Perfect for a gentleman scientist."
*Deed of home ownership- "At last a home for science!"
*Regal Scepter- "It must have scientifical properties."
*Royal Gallery Key- "Royal-key."
*Key to the City- "City engineering isn't a real science."
*Queen Malfalfa- "Maybe I can trade it for something."
*Post Card of the Royal Palace- "Says "Wish-eth thou were'st here.""
*Can of Silly String- "Comedy in a can."
*Noxious Cloud- "A cloud of coughs."
==Announcements==
*Can't buy item (generic)- "I can't do that."
*Can't buy item (not enough money)- "I can't pay for that."
*Cannot enter building (generic)- "It won't open."
*Cannot enter building (locked)- "It's locked."
*Cannot read Deed of home ownership (wrong area)- "My house is in the Hamlet, not here."
*Coughing- "Cough! Cough!"
*Digging in Dung Pile-
**"Eugg!"
**"Ick!"
**"Gross!"
**"I got some on my hands!"
*Fog coming-
**"This {item} is so heavy."
**"This {item} is too hot."
*Hay Fever starting- "My nose feels.. itchy."
*Hay Fever ending- "I don't want to claw my eyes out anymore."
*Hitting Pugalisk in armored section-
**"Its hide is too tough!"
**"A tough nut to crack."
**"Break, darn you!"
*Putting on Living Artifact- "For Science!"
*Sneezing- "AHHH CHOOOO!"
*Vampire Bats are coming- "I don't like the look of this."
==Removed==
*Deed of home ownership- "At last a home for my science."
*Elder Mandrake- "These guys again."
*Florist- "Let's see if we can come to an arrangement."
Q3
Category:Hamlet Quotes