The Agent

==Secret Agent Gumball==
::
:: Darwin? Ugh. Darwin? Ugh. Darwin, where are you? There you are!
:: Aww, man! My makeup's running, and there's no toilet paper in the whole school!
:: You really didn't need to go that far.
:: Au contraire, the makeup's great! And the one piece bias-cut polyester pants suit with crystal accents and a bauble hem is totally en vogue!
:: I have no idea what you just said, but hey! What about me?
:​​​​​​​: Hm, you look like a-
:: I know.
::
:: A secret agent.
:​​​​​​​: I was gonna say undertaker.
:: Oh.
:​​​​​​​: Why are you dressed like that anyway?
:: Well, it all started at swim club. 
:​​​​​​​: And?
:: Wait for it...
==Swim Club==
::
:: Yeah, I don't think swim club is for you.
:: Half the school isn't suited to swim club! I mean, there's Teri. You never know which bit of her's gonna clog the filter first. And then there's William. Surely, the chlorine in the water's gonna sting his....everything.
:: Shh! He'll hear you!
:: Doesn't have ears.
::
:: I think you hurt his feelings!
:: How could you tell? He's kinda hard to read without an eyebrow. Or mouth, or cheeks, or nostrils.
::
:: I...think we better get out of here before the coach dives in the-
::
:: Too late.
:: Wait! Where's our clothes?
:: They've been stolen!
:: Ugh. You know what this means.
::
:: See? A perfect fit! And they're exactly like your old clothes! ...Are words that have never been uttered in Lost and Found. Anyway, you're in luck. Mr. Corneille and I do ballroom dancing and our costumes got shrunk in the wash, so... This is all I got.
:: This is all you have?
:: Okay, this is all I have. Jeez, since when were you so hard on grammar?
:: He means we can't possibly wear those! Without accessories!
::
:​​​​​​​​​​​​​​: Huh. Wish I'd never asked. That flashback was so long I've grown roots! 
:: But why the wig?
:: It looks weird without it.
::
:: Uh, 'scuse me kids. Somebody stole the PA speaker and I gotta fix it. 
:: Well, they will give him some...odd jobs.
:: This is how it's gonna be, isn't it?
:: That's what secret agents do, right? Make light quips after horrific workplace accidents!
::
:: What is it with this place? People stealing the toilet rolls now! You two! My office!
:: But sir, we didn't steal- and now I've lost my train of thought completely.
==Taking the Case==
::
:: Watterson, tell me. What do you know about hacking the central intelligence data server?
:: You just bypass the storage controller, tap into the VNX array head, and disable the IDS. Why, sir?
:: Crossword clue. Nah, doesn't fit. Never mind. Anyway, do you know anything about all this stuff being stolen?
:: Well, I-
:: My thoughts precisely! The toilet roll. The PA system. And, judging by that Italian waiter outfit, your clothes. I want you to find out who's stealing them, what they plan to do with them, and why.
:: But sir, why choose me for this mission?
:: Because, Watterson, you and you alone... happened to be passing. That's all. Oh, and Watterson?
:: Yes, sir?
:: Close the door on the way out. And, Watterson?
:: Yes, sir?
:: I've forgotten. And, Watterson-
:: Just ignore him or we'll never get out! 
::
:: Okay, so what are we gonna do?
:: Oh, don't worry your pretty face about it. Leave it to the professionals. Now, there's clearly some evil mastermind behind all this. Overseeing his plans in a secret lair, stroking a cat... Uh-huh.... Your time is up, Mr.- What the! Darwin?!
:: Well, you were disrespecting me!
:: Yeah, I'm sorry. You're right.
:: Thank you.
:: You do look weird without the wig. What are you doing in here anyway?
:: Checking the surveillance!
:: Of course! An agent is only as good as his intelligence.
:: Yep. That rules us out.
:: Okay, someone else's intelligence. And I think I know just the robot.
:: Bobert!
:: Yes, I was trying to be mysterious.
:: But Bobert's the only robot we kno-
:: YES! All right!
==A Clue from Bobert==
::
:: So, Bobert, we need you to help us work out who's been stealing- actually, scrap that, we need GADGETS!! What's this?
:: It looks like an ordinary fountain pen.
: and : Yeah? Yeah?
:: Because it is an ordinary fountain pen.
:: Oh. What about this?
:: Now pay attention. A typical black belt, but turn the buckle like so, and it is a typical brown belt.
:: What about this?
:: Dude, that's just a flower. But hey! Now I really do look like a-
:: Friendless dork on prom night!
::
:: Bobert, are you okay?
:: Look! There goes the stolen stuff! We better go after it!
:: What about Bobert?
:: Oh, he seems...armless enough.
:: That's not what I asked.
:: Maybe we should lend him a-
:: Just go and find my arms, please.
==I Know Who the Villain Is!==
:: Come on!
:: I'm doing all this in heels, remember?
::
:: Oh! Guys! Did you see anything fly by here?
:​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​: No, I didn't. 
:: Come on! 
:​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​: But...my top lip! It's naked!
:: Let me fix that. There.
::
:: What? Where did it all go?!
:: Don't worry, we'll find it. A secret agent must use every means at his disposal to achieve his objective. Stealth, intelligence, tenacity, a British car, grappling hooks, binoculars...
:: You! Gumball! I know who it is! It's- WAAAAAAAHHHH!!
:: ...wet wipes, comprehensive insurance... DARWIN!! S'all right. S'quite all right, really. We'll have all the time in the-
:: GUMBALL!
:: Oh, you're down there. Hold on, I'm coming! 
::
:: Look, Bernice! That cat just flung a wig at us.
==An Unlikely Villain==
::
:: Gumball? GUMBALL! GUMBALL!!
:: It is no use. Nobody can hear you. My identity will remain a secret as long as you're down here.
:: You won't get away with this!
:: And who is going to stop me?
::
:: I am! I knew I'd find you sewer or later!
::
:: Aw, come on!
:: Gumball! I know who the villain is! It's—
::
:: Me! For years I've been ignored. Ridiculed. A literal no-body! Well, not anymore!
:: Sorry, who are you?
:: It's William! Can't you see? The PA system, Bob's mustache, the toilet rolls?
:: That's right! I, William, stole it all!
:: Wait! What about our clothes?
:: I didn't steal your clothes! Why would I steal your clothes? Come, come, give me some credit for having a little taste.
:: Oh, yeah, we left them in the locker, didn't we?
:: Ohh, of course. Yeah, well maybe you should've stolen a full-length mirror. You look like an accident in a thrift store!
:: WHAT??!!
:: I, uh, think we better get out of here and tell Principal Brown!
:: No!
::
: and : AAAHHH!!!
:: I'll get to Principal Brown and tell him you did it! You were at every crime scene, you were the prime suspects! YOU WILL TAKE THE BLAME!!
:: Yeah, but you are literally made of the evidence.
:: Good point. I'll leave him a note. 
:: Well he, uh, never did have a head for heights.
:: At least make them relevant! Come on! Help me with this! We're about to be framed for something we didn't do!
:: Nah, it could be worse. At least it's not filling with—
::
:: AAAAAHHHHH!!! NOW WHAT?!
:: I got it!
:: Yeah?
:: I think the... body of evidence is in our favor!
:: No!!
:: Ah, stop panicking! You're a fish! You can breathe underwater!
:: Yeah, but you can't!
::
:: SOMEBODY HELP US! HELP US PLEASE!! HELP!!!
::
: and : Bobert!
::
:: Of course! There's a homing device in my flower!
:: No, it's in my arms. And they're heading to the school!
:: Wait! Without your arms, how are you steering?
:: Good point! 
==A Great Escape==
:: I'm in control! But out of gas.
::
:: Ahead two-thirds!
::
:: I can't swim!!
:: You won't have to!
::
:: This is fast as it goes? Oh, wait, what does this button do?
:: Nonono—
::
:: It's the ejector seat. Mayday! Mayday!
::
:: Yeah, Bobert! You're invincib— 
:: Darwin!! Don't worry, leave it to Double— 
::
:: You're too late!
:: Am I? I think you'll find I've got a license to spill, the beans! On you, just to be clear.
:: Yes?
::
:: Principal Brown! I did it!
:: You did it?! And to think I trusted you!
:: What?! Nonono! I meant the mission. I completed it! The culprit's right here! 
:: Other Watterson? I should've known. But robot child, I'm very disappointed in you. Detention for all three of you!
:: No! But it was William!
:: William?! Who's William?
:: That one.
:: Don't be ridiculous. Where's your proof?
:: Gumball, give him your flower.
:: I, uh... don't see how that's gonna help.
:: No, open the stem.
::
:: Gadgets!! 
:: I, William, stole it all.
:: Really?! A week's detention for you!
:, , and : William.
:: William. And return all this stuff at once! But not this.
::
:: Let's, uh, get out of these old things, hm?
==Watterson, Gumball Watterson==
::
:: Okay, I just need to sign these back in. Your name?
:: Watterson, Gumball Watterson.
:: Is that all one word or with a hyphen?
:: What?
:: Like Wattersongumballwatterson, or Watterson Gumball-Watterson?
:: Nonononono. It's... Watterson. Gumball Watterson.
:: Like double-barrelled?
:: No, Watterson! Gumball Watterson!
:: Oh, so Gumball's your middle name!
:: Just f-- 
Category:The Amazing World of Gumball Transcripts