Time

Philosophers over the ages have argued about the true definition of time but the closest agreed term that has been reached is "that stuff that lives in the clock."
==Greenwich Mean Time==
Greenwich Mean Time is, as we all know, is the true time. The a English invented clocks and will therefore dictate to the world what the time is. Everyone else is living a lie. True Englishmen, wherever they may be, observe Greenwich Mean Time no matter what part of the globe they may be in. 
==Chavez-time==
Hugo Chavez, ex-Venezulan PM and comedy gold, put his countries time back by half an hour on a permanent basis on the week beginning the 17th of December 2007. Chavez claims that this new earlier dawn will improve the performance of the country saying "I don't care if they call me crazy. The new time will go ahead." 
It was subsequently discovered that Chavez-time was only initiated because Chavez had nothing in his in-tray and no conferences in which he could slag off America so instead he would diss one of their time zones.
==Philosophers on time==
*His too small voice/Lived and died in his head/No one could hear/When it told him loud and clear/It's check-out time - Mudhoney
*We'll make a space/In the lives that we planned/And here we'll stay/Until it's time for you to go - Diamond
*Do you remember when/we used to take our time/you'd write me a letter, being there/and I'd wait for you all night (ohhh)- Rae & Green