Runelords 00.2 - Luna and Virgil

A tentative knock came from Luna's office door. She glanced up, slightly surprised: the few people that usually came to her didn’t knock. She pulled out an extract of Disguise Self and drank it, hiding her obtrusive teeth. "Come in," she said loudly, adjusting her glasses. A young man stuck his head around the door, a look of supreme hesitance on his face. She sighed internally: despite what a lot of people seemed to think, she wasn't going to bite. Not that this mattered to them. Oh well; always be polite. "Can I help you?"
"You're Miss Estaban, right?"
"Yes."
"Umm. There's...we...there's an issue, in room 361, and the procedure says to get you..."
She blinked, and held back a look of dismay. She knew she had been written into a bunch of procedures; she had them all in a binder somewhere. None of them were good, seeing as all of them capitalised on her immunity to charms, death effects and pain. "What is it...?" she asked, unsuccessfully trying to keep the disappointment from her voice.
"Well, there's a...man? here," he seemed very unsure of whether it was, in fact, a man at all. "And he's using charm magic. We can't get him out. Anyone who goes in either walks right back out, or...stays in with him."
"What? What's he doing?" she asked with some alarm.
"They're..." he blushed profusely, "They're having an orgy...?"
Luna sat in stunned silence. "...What?!" she exclaimed in disbelief.
He shrugged emphatically, flustered, "I don't know! He's got like, 4 naked students in there! We don't know what to do! Security can't get in, the Managers aren't here, and the procedure says to get you! Otherwise, we have to get the Doctor, and Professor Davidson doesn't even think he's in the building!"
Luna took a long, slow breath. "...Ok...let's go."
"Thank you," he said, looking genuinely relieved.
"Hold that until I've managed to do something..." she muttered, moving around from behind her desk.
----
Outside room 361, a small crowd of people had gathered, looking nervous and uncomfortable. When the student returned with Luna, their expressions spoke volumes on their uncertainty of what was more disquieting: Luna, or whatever was behind the door. He called out, “I got her!” as they joined them.
She looked between the gathered people, eventually settling on one of the security staff. "What do I need to do?" she asked, with only a hint of resignation.
"Ideally, get him to let the students go, and leave. He hasn't been violent, but..." the guard replied, trailing off, "Can you use wands?"
"Yes..."
"Here," he said, handing her his holster, holding a variety of wands. He pointed a few of them out, "Hold Person, Hold Monster, Dimension Door, and that one's Banishment. I don't know if you'll need that one, but honestly we don't know if the intruder is an extraplanar or just a mage. Obviously, he’s one or the other, since magic’s certainly at play.” She nodded, taking them and trying very hard to disguise her uncertainty, and the fact that she probably couldn’t make a single one of the higher-level spells work.
“So...what is going on?” she asked, hoping that the answer had changed.
The guard looked embarrassed as he explained, “A single intruder appeared. He appears to be a human male Arroyitan, mid-to-late twenties; no one has recognized him so far, so we’re assuming him to be a foreigner. There were no reports of him entering at any of the public entrances, or anywhere other than this room, so he either snuck in or teleported to this location directly.” He blushed as he said, “From what we know, three students entered the room for study purposes, and he was already there. He greeted them; his manner was described as polite yet evasive. Apparently, one thing led to another, and before they knew it, two of them were compelled to leave and the third...began to initiate intimate acts. They couldn’t bring themselves to go back inside, so they asked a passerby. This has been repeating for over an hour now; anyone who enters is compulsed to either leave, or...join in.”
She sighed heavily. “Alright. At least he’s not violent, I guess…”
He nodded, “If he’s just using a spell to manipulate people, you should be immune. So...see if you can talk some sense into him, see if he has any sort of reason to be here other than...whatever he’s doing now. If you can’t, or if he turns violent, then we’ll mount a serious offensive.” She nodded, trying to hide her nervousness. She took a step forwards and, with a steeling breath, opened the door and entered.
The room was small: a study room that contained little more than a table and some chairs. The furniture had been moved to one side, and against the far wall, five people were entangled in a lustful display. Luna blushed, rubbing her eyes and averting her gaze. “Well, hello,” a man’s voice said, drawing her gaze back. An Arroyitan man had pulled himself up, sitting above the other four otherwise-occupied individuals. While he was certainly attractive, there was little extraordinary about him beyond his flat, grey eyes: a striking colour for someone of his ethnicity. He grinned cloyingly, “Been a little bit since anyone’s come in; are people getting upset?”
A scowl crossed her face as she stared incredulously at the floor. “...Yes, of course they’re getting upset!! You’re making people have sex in a study room!!”
“Ahh!” he held up a finger, “I am not. Only people who already wanted to have sex in a study room are having sex. Everyone else politely left.” His smarmy smile became slightly more somber, “But seriously, are people getting upset? Not ‘I’m offended’ upset, actual ‘kill the mage’ upset. Because I don’t want an assault team or something after me.” He ignored the other four people, who fawned and writhed over him, placating and pushing them away gently when they tried to close the distance between his face and theirs.
“Then, then you should probably leave!” she exclaimed, still not looking. “People aren’t going to let you get away with…”
“Are you wearing an illusion?” he interrupted suddenly. “Because you look like you should be blushing, but aren’t.”
“I...I...that’s none of your business!”
“Ok, ok, calm down,” he said, holding his hands up placatingly. “I’m aware I need to finish up soon, but I need a few more minutes. No one’s getting hurt here, and I don’t want anyone trying to hurt me. That will get messy, and not the good sort of messy. So, I need you to just listen to my voice, possibly make eye contact, then you can decide whether you think it’s a better idea to leave and tell everyone that I’ll be finished and gone soon, or to join in.”
“What?! I’m not joining in! And you can’t just have a few more minutes!” she said, the audacity of the Arroyitan continuing to boggle her. He began to mutter an incantation, his hands moving about in a hypnotic gesture: the four slowed down and looked up to him, awed by the spell. Luna just frowned harder.
The man smiled and said plainly, “If you find me attractive and would like to join in our fun, please do. Otherwise, go ahead and leave, but don’t come back in until we’ve finished.” The four who had already fallen prey to his magic returned to their previous activities with a relish. Luna, whose frustration had finally outstripped her embarrassment, gave a snort, set her jaw and glared at the man. He looked moderately impressed, “Huh, you’ve got more willpower than most. Ok…” he made a few gestures, then said, “Please leave and don’t come back until I’ve left,” his voice holding the gravity of a magical command.
She glared harder, “You can keep trying, and it will keep not working.”
“...Huh. Well, third time’s the charm.” He tried another spell, a more powerful one, and repeated his request politely.
“Not going to work.”
“Protected from enchantments, huh?” he said wryly. “Can’t convince you to just leave of your own accord?”
“I’m not the one trespassing here; I’m not the one who has to leave!” she said firmly. “What you’re doing is awful, and illegal, and security is waiting outside. Now, let them go.”
He held up his hands, “Hey, I’m not doing anything! I started it, not going to argue that, but you heard the suggestion: if they didn’t want it, they would have left. Also: this isn’t illegal.”
“It is certainly…”
“No, it’s not,” he cut her off. “Sex isn’t prohibited outside of the high security areas, and there are actually zero laws here regarding suggestion magic,” he held up his hand, forming an o with his fingers. “Not a one. Zip, zilch, nadda. Closest you’ve got are laws against forced coercion, which this isn’t! They had options! It seems like this state valued freedom over security, so your actual laws are pretty light. The most you can nail me on is entering the hospital without signing in, but I think procedure...oh, 74.2.5.02 will cover that nicely.”
She blinked, taken off guard, before frowning again, “You’re making things up.”
He grinned, “Go get a procedural manual and find out.”
Unamused, she folded her arms, “Nice try.” She took a few steps forwards, “Alright, this is done. Break it up, put on clothes, get out of here,” nudging the nearest person with her foot. When they didn’t respond immediately, she reached over and pulled on their shoulder, turning their attention fully towards her. “Hey. Do you know who I am?”
The girl blinked, confused, “No, I…” Suddenly, realization hit her and her eyes widened. “You’re the...you’re Miss Estaban.”
“Yes, that’s right.” The girl looked extremely uncomfortable and shrank back, covering herself with her arms, though with a peculiar focus on her neck. Luna said flatly, “You’re done. Get your clothes, and get out.”
The girl nodded timidly, pulling on another student’s shoulder and gesturing hurriedly with her head towards Luna. When the second girl also didn’t get it right away, she hissed, “Estaban!” The name shocked the second girl like the first; the two quickly pulled away, frantically moving towards their clothes and catching the attention of the remaining two. The fear spread to them almost instantly as well, and just like that, the fun had broken up.
As the students scrambled to evacuate, the Arroyitan looked on with a mild sort of impress. “Wow.” He turned to look at Luna, “You really know how to kill a party, don’t you?”
“That’s me,” she said dryly, watching them leave the room, “The Fun Police.” Turning back to him, where he still sat cross-legged on the floor, she said, “You too. Get out. Security will want to have words with you.”
“Really? All this, and you aren’t security? What are you, their professor?” He stood up, “I’m sorry, we weren’t properly introduced.” He bowed, “I’m Virgil Miro.”
She sighed through her nose, rubbing her eyes with her finger and thumb. “Get dressed please.”
He grinned, “Why?”
“For the love of gods, put on clothes.” She shook her head, and muttered, “This is ridiculous.”
“Alright, I’m getting there,” he said, still laughing like it was a joke. “It was rude not to introduce myself properly.”
“It’s rude to not wear pants!” she retorted.
“Well, now that depends entirely where you are,” he said, meanwhile complying with her request. “I have been many places where it is perfectly acceptable to not wear pants.” A few seconds later, he added, “There. Covered. You can stop staring at the floor.” She frowned and turned back to him. He was indeed now clothed, wearing a rather smart pair of pants and a violet shirt. He grinned as he put shoes on, “I’m much nicer to look at.”
“Ugh,” she rolled her eyes. “Just move. Security can deal with you.”
“Ouch. You didn’t give me your name yet.”
She growed, frustrated and finished with this ordeal, “Estaban. Luna Estaban. Can you leave now?”
“You’ve got a pretty name, Luna,” he replied. “But you really need to relax a bit. Your life’s too short to be so serious all the time.” The look she gave him was both withering and unimpressed, with a strength that made even Virgil blink in confusion. “What?”
She gave an angered sigh, turning on her heel and stomping towards the door. Pushing it open to the inquisitive and timid people waiting in the hall, she announced, “There. He’s done. He’s an idiot. Do you need anything else?”
“What was he doing here? Was...this,” the guard gestured at the room broadly, “all he came here for?”
Rolling her eyes, she asked half over her shoulder, “What were you here for?”
Virgil took a few steps forwards towards the door. “I came to see the Doctor, actually.” He smiled again, “I just got hungry on the way.”
“Ugh!” Luna exclaimed again. “You’re disgusting, and the Doctor isn’t even in!”
“Really?” Virgil seemed surprised, “But Lucca was sure he was here...Can I go knock at his door, in case? Otherwise, I have to find out where he went…”
“This isn’t my problem!” Luna put up her hands. She turned to the guard, “There. He wants to see the Doctor, and he referenced...procedure...74.2...5.0…”
“2,” Virgil finished brightly.
“I was going to get it!” she snapped. “74.2.5.02. He’s a twit, do what you need to.” She started to walk away, muttering, “I’m going back to my office…”
“It was nice to meet you!” Virgil called after her.
“Can’t say the same,” she called back.
-----
-----
Luna walked down the hall, reading over a document and ignoring the chatter of people around her. Suddenly, a man’s voice pierced through her reverie. “Hey!” Her gaze jumped up, and she saw standing before her the annoying, vulgar Arroyitan man with grey eyes, who had appeared in the study room a few years ago. “Oh good, you heard me! I was calling you. You’re Luna, right? Luna Estaban.”
“Oh. Yes. Hello,” she replied flatly, seeming unimpressed. “What are you doing here again?”
“Just visiting,” he said nonchalantly. He looked exactly as he had years ago, as did she. “It’s been a while!" He offered brightly, "You look good; how have you been?”
She blinked, taken off-guard by his overly-friendly manner. “...Fine…” she said with no lack of suspicion.
“That’s good! So, you’re still working here? What do you do, anyhow? I assumed you were a professor, but I never really asked.”
“...I’m a student...graduate student…” she said hesitantly.
“Really? This long? Or were you just a regular student back then?”
“No, I’ve been a graduate for...a while…” she said evasively, adding quickly, “Lots of graduate students take their time and go on to be employed researchers.”
“Well, I can’t say I know the system here," he shrugged, "So, it’s a good job then?”
“...I like it…” she said, still obviously uncomfortable. She turned to leave, “Good to see you, I suppose; I have to go.”
Virgil looked at her with some apprehension, “Alright...Have a good day, then.” He smiled and added behind her, “I’ll try not to do anything that needs the Fun Police called!” She made a ‘hmph’ noise, but kept walking.
-----
------
“Luna!” She looked over her shoulder, already frowning. Whoever this Arroyitan was, he kept showing up: not enough to presume that he lived anywhere nearby, but enough that she certainly knew his annoying voice. He claimed to be visiting the Doctor, not that there was any evidence of it, but the fact remained that he seemed to pop up every few years and almost inevitably caused a stir when he did. His study room stunt was only the first of his lewd debacles, and he showed neither shame nor remorse for them; Luna had been called to break up more than one.
With a groan and a glare, she asked, “What do you want now?”
Virgil grinned, “You’re never happy to see me. Come on, what did I do?”
“You’re an annoying, self-centered, perverted creep who uses magic to manipulate people. You show up uninvited, have no respect for anyone else, and disrupt everything around you for no reason other than your own amusement,” she said dryly. “There isn’t much to be happy about.”
There was a tinge of actual hurt on Virgil’s face for a brief second before he shrugged it off. “Well, I have good points too, I’m sure.”
She muttered, “Evidence strongly suggests otherwise.” More loudly, she asked, “Are you leaving?”
He looked slightly put-out, but nodded, “Actually, yes, I was…”
“Good. I don’t feel like dealing with your crap today.” She went to move past him and carry on with her day unimpeded.
Virgil’s voice stopped her, “Why do you pretend you’re 25?”
She hesitated for a second, “...I don't...”
“Well, it's just that you have to be at least 40 by now, but you never change. You’re keeping an illusion or something on yourself. Is it that important to look young?”
She swallowed hard. Sharply, she said, “Well, what about you?! You're no different either!"
"Well, I don't age,” he said matter-of-factly, “and I can only shift to one form, so, I’d guess it is a bit different."
She turned and looked at him curiously for a second before nearly shouting, "It’s none of your business!” and walking quickly away, leaving Virgil standing slightly bewildered in the hallway. Both parties gave a moment's thought to how little they had bothered to find out about the other, despite how obviously strange they were; both quickly found other things to occupy their minds.
-----
-----
There had been a bit of a longer gap between visits than Virgil had planned on, but that's what came from interplanar time zones. The hospital had undergone a bit of remodelling since he'd last been there, so he skimmed over a map and registry, noting where things had been moved. As his eyes jumped over names, they caught on something familiar. He looked at Luna’s name for a second. “Huh,” he muttered. “She's still a grad student?” With a shrug, he walked off; he may as well say hello.
Luna’s office was a small, tucked-away place, not particularly close to any of the other research teams. Striding right up to it, he knocked sharply on the door.
“Just a minute…” a familiar woman’s voice replied.
Frowning and opening the door, Virgil stuck his head in, “Luna? Are you really still-wagh!” He exclaimed as he flinched back, shocked by what he saw. The young woman behind the desk was still recognizable as Luna Estaban, but she was markedly gaunt and pale: the look of someone wasted and ill, if not on death’s door. She froze herself, taken aback at the person who had let themselves in without permission. “Wow...uh...huh,” Virgil fumbled.
Luna clenched her hand around the potion she had been about to drink as she turned her gaze towards her desk surface. “Get out…” she said quietly, giving Virgil a glimpse of her teeth: all thin fangs, reminiscent of a carnivorous dinosaur.
“This...puts a lot of things in context, actually.”
“I said, get out!!” she repeated,
“I’m sorry, I should have waited,” Virgil said, putting his hands up. “I just get impatient sometimes."
“RRRGH!” she practically screamed over him as she stood up. Stomping around the desk, she shoved him backwards into the hallway. “Get OUT!! Get out, you stupid, self-centered, arrogant prick!!”
The door slammed in his face, leaving a slightly bewildered Virgil staring at it, wondering what had just happened. “What...what was that for?!” Virgil exclaimed. “Are you seriously this mad because I saw you without makeup?! Or is this some sort of secret I wasn’t supposed to know about?”
“Go away and leave me alone,” she yelled back.
“Maybe I will when I know what your problem is,” he retorted. “I just happened to be going by, saw your name and thought ‘wow! it’s been a long time, how has she not graduated by now; that can't really still be her’. And would you look at that, it is you, getting all out of joint again, like always! This time because I happened to see you without an illusion. Maybe if I knew you were undead all along and obviously weren’t going anywhere, I wouldn’t have bothered and just waited for you to show up with security, like usual.” There was no reply from inside, but Virgil could vaguely hear her moving around. “Seriously! What, is this a secret? Are people not supposed to know you’re dead? Because staying at the same age at the same job for decades is a good way to tip people off that something’s wrong, you know!” He heard something slide, followed by silence. “Well?” He leaned against the door, but heard nothing else. “Luna?” Eventually, he knocked and tried the door, but found it locked. With a dry look, he pulled a small case out of his wallet: a series of wands were neatly arranged in a row. Selecting one, he cast Knock, quickly breaking the lock and letting him open the door. The small office was empty; the window was open. Moving over to it and looking out, he saw only empty lawn two stories beneath him. He glanced about a moment longer, before stepping back and closing the window. A brief, non-invasive search of the room revealed nothing; less than nothing, actually. She was no longer there, of course, but there was nothing personal at all about the room either. Personal offices always held pictures, trinkets, things that the person used to make it homey, but there was nothing here that wasn’t work. “Hmm…” With a thoughtful look, Virgil excused himself from the room, closing the door behind him.
----
She had to get out of there. She didn’t want to listen to him for another second, but there was only one door, and if she went out that one, he’d just follow her. Her eyes fell on the window. She had to get out of there. Without hesitation, she pulled the window open, and climbed out. Valuing speed over safety, she quickly slipped and fell. She tried to slow her descent somewhat by breaking herself along the wall, but her landing was still anything but soft. There was no pain to ignore, but she pulled out the potion of negative energy she carried with her; drinking it quickly, her bones knit and her flesh healed. The hunger though, the feral urge to feed that became more intense after an injury, remained. She drank the other potion, the illusion that kept her looking alive, the one she was going to take earlier. Standing up, she walked quickly away, back towards her house; she had been hungry anyways.
Reaching her small bungalow, she unlocked it and went in. The neighborhood she lived in was small and quiet, though she didn’t quite remember it being that way long in the past. Locking her door behind her, she went through her house to her backyard, pulling off her glasses and leaving them on a table as she passed. Outside, a large flock of chickens roamed about a caged pen. Her eyes moved from bird to bird, until she identified the next one that was marked for slaughter. With the grim efficiency of one who has done something a thousand times, she caught the bird and held it firmly, taking it inside. Her expression was flat and passive as she detached herself utterly from her experience. She walked to a nearby room that had been closed off, lacking in windows, and furnished only with a garbage can and a collection of cleaning supplies on a small shelf; thick curtains blocked sound from escaping. Closing the door behind her, she moved to the center of the room, knelt down, and with the same efficiency with which she had caught the chicken, she held it cruelly with her hands and knees, preventing its escape as she tore out a large section of its feathers. The bird screamed and struggled for its life, and Luna’s expression spoke clearly of her blankness of mind as she carried out her actions. When the bird’s body was more or less plucked, she bent over and tore into it with her teeth, eating its still-living flesh. The sound made by the dying bird was awful, made all the worse as it weakened and died. Luna finished shortly after the sound stopped; dead flesh did nothing. With the same robotic detachment, she gathered the remains in a bag and deposited it in the can, afterwards cleaning the blood and feathers from the wooden floor. When the room was as it was when she entered, she left.
She wandered towards her bedroom, her expression still flat; she didn’t sleep anymore, but she still liked to sit there and read, so she had kept it the same. Passing by the room that used to be a kitchen, but had now become an alchemy lab and a tinkering workshop, she made her way down the hall and into the bedroom. She idly walked into the center of the room and stood there for a moment. As she stood there, her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror that hung above her vanity. The illusion had long since worn off. She was thin, pale and drawn. Wasting slowly away. Rotting. Eventually she’d be nothing more than a dried, eyeless corpse, grey skin stretched thin over a skeleton.
Luna sunk to the floor, and sobbed, alone.
----
Virgil sat in a chair near the front entrance, drumming his fingers and looking thoughtful, before eventually stopping a pair of passersby who, by the looks of things, were a couple visiting the clinic. "Excuse me," he asked, "Do you know a woman named Luna Estaban? She works here."
"Who?" the man asked. "I'm sorry, we don't work here, so..."
"Oh! Honey," his wife interrupted him and whispered something.
He squinted, then suddenly had a look of recognition, "Oh! Well, yeah, we know of her. Never met her before though. Why?"
“I just got here; I was coming to visit a friend.” The woman raised her eyebrow at this, so Virgil amended, “I have all the proper paperwork, don’t worry. It’s not surruptuous.” She nodded slightly, satisfied. “But...I heard the name, and I heard there was a story about her…?” he ventured, trying to wheedle information.
“Wouldn’t you just ask your friend?” she asked questioningly.
Virgil shrugged, “He’s not off work for another few hours, and I’m impatient.”
“Heh, your friend give you the headline without the story, huh?" the man chuckled. "There are a lot of stories; couldn’t tell ya what’s true and what’s ghost tales though, and we don’t really have the time to swap stories. Long story short, she’s a failed experiment."
“Honey…” his wife frowned slightly.
“What? It’s true.” The man said, “Scuttlebutt is that she was a failed experiment of a professor way back when. Wanted to see if undead could be used in the AHP. ‘Course, they couldn’t, because, I mean, honestly. How are you going to make the living better by makin’ ‘em dead? So now she’s just hangin’ around here doin’ whatever it is she does. Should just go back to the UN, I say.”
“Dear, you sound racist,” his wife sighed.
“Doesn’t mean it’s not true! Downright creepy she is. Eats animals while they’re still alive, I heard. It’s why that part of the neighbourhood is so empty: no one wants to live near her. She should go keep with her kind.”
“Harold!” The lady sighed again, “I’m sorry, sir; my husband doesn’t have much tact.”
“What?” he chuckled, “He asked for a story.”
She took over the conversation, explaining, “Luna Estaban is undead; everyone around here knows that. There are rumours that she was part of an experiment in the past, but all we know is that she works here, in the research labs, and she keeps to herself. A lot of people aren’t very...comfortable, with the thought of a zombie about.”
“I heard she ate Ronnie Thompson’s dog. That’s why it went missing,” the man offered.
She rolled her eyes at her husband’s comment, “Yes, and there are hundreds of stories of missing animals and things like that.”
“Really?” Virgil asked, “Does she really eat people’s pets?”
“Animals go missing; she’s a flesh-eating monster. People put two and two together,” he shrugged. “But nah. Not like security has ever caught her doin’ anything. That would make news. Heh.”
“Harold…”
“Make property values increase,” he chuckled again. “That what you wanted to know?”
Virgil nodded, “Yeah, thanks. Sorry for bothering you.”
She smiled, “Not a problem.” They went to leave, when she added, “Oh, and don’t be worried about her or anything. Like Harold said, they’ve never actually arrested her for anything. We have some of the best security in the world; we’re all very safe here.”
The man grinned, “Even from flesh-eating monsters...ow!” he said, after his wife smacked him in the shoulder. He grinned, “Hey, every town needs a ghost story, right?”
Virgil smiled politely, though it quickly turned to a more somber expression when they were out of sight.
----
Luna walked down the halls towards her office. As she drew nearer, she paused at an unfamiliar noise. It sounded like a violin. Shaking her head slightly, she carried on; curiously, it seemed to get louder. When she turned the last corner, she saw why: a man was kneeling in the hallway, playing an instrument. As she got a bit closer, she found that he was, in fact, sitting directly across from her door, and he was, in fact, Virgil. He continued to play softly, his eyes closed, the song a muted, somewhat melancholic tune. She stopped in front of him, watching him as he continued to play without regard to her, her expression flat and tired. Eventually she asked, "...Have you been sitting here the whole time?"
He didn't stop or open his eyes, but replied, "For the most part, yes. Left for a little bit in the beginning, but beyond that, yes, I've been waiting here."
"I haven't been here in almost a month."
"No. No you haven't."
"So, I'm supposed to believe that you sat in a hallway for a month?" she asked, her tone mirroring the fatigue in her expression.
Virgil was unfazed, "It's likely common knowledge. Security keeps checking on me."
"Then they would have made you leave."
"I'm not done here," he replied, voice serious, "No one makes me do anything I don't want."
She rolled her eyes with disdain, “No, of course not.” She paused for another moment, “So, what, have you been magicking up food and beds? Or have you been heading to the cafeteria and sleeping on the floor?”
Virgil’s formerly blank expression hinted at confusion as he explained, “I don’t sleep. And this is a school and a research center; there’s more than enough ambient pride from the people walking around to sustain me.”
It was Luna’s turn to look confused, “What...are you talking about?”
Virgil opened his eyes and looked at her, lacking understanding, “I feed on pride. You didn’t know that? I thought that was listed in the manual...”
“What manual? What are you talking about?”
“The...the procedural manual. Procedure 74.2.5.02. Didn’t you read it?” She looked at him in confusion for a moment. “The one I that references me?” She looked at him with confused uncertainty. He closed his eyes again, “Go look.” She watched him idly play for another moment before she unlocked her office and went in.
A few long minutes later, she came back out. She leaned against the doorway, holding her elbows and looking away. Eventually, she asked bluntly, "What do you want?"
He made a fast transition, drawing out the final note and completing the song. Putting the instrument gently down, he bowed his head. "I want to apologise."
“For what.”
“For hurting you, when you didn’t deserve to be hurt. I shouldn’t have pried like that, and I said some ignorant things. For aggravating you. I get self-absorbed and indulgent. It’s what I am and I won’t apologize for that, but I didn’t intend to hurt you, and for that I am sorry. And mostly, I apologize for giving you no reason to think anything but poorly of me. I’m sorry for making myself out to be ignorant.”
She regarded him silently for a while before saying, “...That’s a pretty dumb apology. You’re sorry you made yourself look bad?” He didn’t reply. “...I mean, really.”
“I suppose,” he said, his expression hinting at confusion. “I can rephrase it.” He thought for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry for my behaviour towards you when I saw you last. ...I’m not sorry for my actions prior to that, but I am sorry that I didn’t temper them with more respect towards you.”
"That's...the same thing you just said.” She frowned, “You're sorry that I get offended. You're sorry that I'm upset. But you're not actually sorry for the horrible things you do."
It was his turn to frown slightly, "I hardly think that anything I've done is horrible."
She stared at him with disbelief. "...How...?” He looked at her with confusion, expecting an explanation. “How can you not realise what you’re doing? You...you do realise, that you hurt people?" His expression of legitimate confusion had her at a loss. She held out her hands, gesturing pointedly, “You compel people to get naked and have sex with you. A lot of people would say that’s rape.”
He looked offended, “No it’s not.” He huffed, “I always word things so they have the option. I’ve never made anyone do anything unwillfully. That would defeat the whole purpose, anyways.”
Luna looked at him with a mix of pity and disgust, “Really? You really think that’s ok?” He didn’t answer immediately. “You know that you do that to people, and they aren’t happy afterwards.” Virgil’s expression spoke clearly of his disbelief. “Sure, maybe some are, but you know, people talk after you leave. You leave a wake behind you. Apparently you never went to school...”
“I went to school!” he cut her off indignantly.
“Then how do you not know how schools work?” she retorted immediately. “I may be a shut-in, but I still walk around. I still hear what people mutter in the halls. You never show back up again in the same year, so none of the students know who you are when you strut in. They don’t know to avoid you, so when you show up, you pull a stunt and compel a bunch of people to get in on it, and they don't know any better. You say you give people an out, but be honest: you’re compelling them. There’s no real choice there. And when you’re gone, it’s like the aftermath of a bad party. People get talked about. Get scorned. Couples break up. You think compelling someone to give up their dignity makes them happy? The people you do that to are offended and violated; they’re terrified of you and abandoned by you. I remember hearing about at least four people who were devastated after the fact, because they had been waiting. It wasn’t that they didn’t want sex, it’s that they were waiting for the right person, the right time. And you took that, and it hurt people so bad that even a shut-in like me heard about it.” Virgil sat in a shocked sort of silence, his eyes flicking about as his mind desperately tried to reason out how he hadn’t known this to be the case. Luna watched him dispassionately, “Do you feel bad now?”
“I…” Virgil faltered. “I didn’t…”
“Pro tip:” she said coldly, interrupting him, “you should.” She turned to leave, “Stop coming here. We don’t want or need extraplanars screwing up our lives. I don’t know why we even tolerate you coming here at all. So get out, and don’t come back.” Luna turned and entered her office, closing the door behind her. The lock closed with a click. Virgil continued to stare at the floor, lost in thought.
----
It was a long time before Luna came out again. When she did, Virgil was still sitting on the floor. However, his calm, slightly pompous expression was gone, and he sat pressed against the wall with a look of anxiety, hugging his knee. She frowned, “What are you still doing…”
His gaze shot up and he cut her off, “I didn’t know.” His voice had an earnesty in it that she had never heard before. As she raised an eyebrow questioningly, he explained, staring anxiously into the middle distance, “I...I didn’t realise. I didn’t realise any of that, any of what you said. But you said it, and it makes perfect sense! Why didn’t I realize that? I do know those things; I did go to school and I swear I should have known that that’s what would have happened. But I didn’t! I didn’t even remotely realize any of it.”
Her immediate disdain began to be replaced with slight confusion. “...You’re either the most manipulative person I’ve ever met, or you have something really wrong with you.”
“I do! Maybe? I don’t know,” he said, worry tinting his voice. “I...maybe I am more different, and I didn’t know...I didn’t realize it before, and no one I know is going to be able to help, because either they didn’t realize either, or they already know and didn’t say anything, so it’s on me, and I don’t know how to tell…” He glanced up and noticed the bewildered look on Luna’s face, stopping his monologue. He moved forwards to kneel, bowing low forwards. “Please. I’m sorry, I know I’m making no sense, but I can explain. I will explain, but first, I...I need…” he took a deep breath, “I need help. I...need help, and asking is...literally hurting me. It is...literally painful, for me to ask for help. But it’s important, and I don’t know anyone else. Everyone else I know either...can’t, or decided not to.”
“Help...with what?” she ventured, hesitant.
“I...used to be different. More different...than I thought.” He rubbed his face, “I’m sorry. I’m still not making sense.” Exhaling again, he said, “I wasn’t always a devil. I know I was always a bit arrogant? But never...never that arrogant. I never hurt people...or at least, I knew when I did. But this...I was so convinced of myself, that I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I was never that bad…Now…” his voice dropped, “Now I don’t know how many other terrible things I’m doing without realizing it.”
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about. What does any of this have to do with me?”
“...Nothing, really. Nothing at all. It’s not your problem. But, I don’t know anybody else, not anyone who isn’t going to die and who already either proved unwilling or unable. I need to know what I’m doing. I need to know...how to stop myself? And I thought I could do that, but, apparently I can’t.” He sighed, and looked rather miserable, “...Can...can I just...stay here, a bit, and, you can tell me, if I’m doing something wrong?” Her bafflement at his request was plain on her face. “Please…? Maybe...maybe I could help you…in exchange?”
Her expression returned back to its disapproving glare, “Why should I? And what on earth would I need your help with?”
Tilting his head up to look at her warily, he ventured, “...You’re lonely, and you don’t have to be. I know...I asked around, and I heard some of the things people say about you here. But you don’t have to shut yourself away. I can help.”
Disgust slipped back into her expression as she said, “I know full well how you keep people company.”
“No!” he replied quickly, desperate, “No, I didn't mean that, not at all. I swear, really, I can be better. I am better, I just...I just need to remember how. Please, give me a chance. I can do better.”
Luna looked at him hard for a long minute. Eventually, she said coldly, “I don’t think you deserve one.”
Virgil stared at her; slowly, eventually, his gaze dropped towards the floor. “That...doesn’t matter.”
“What?”
He had a distant sort of look in his eyes as he said, “Deserving doesn’t matter. I need it. I need the chance so I can be better. Because I won’t be worse. I can’t be worse. I can be better, so I have to be better, so I have to have the chance to be better. If I can’t go backwards, I have to stay where I am until I can go forwards.”
The pair stood silently for a few minutes. Eventually, Luna said with a hint of sternness, “...Did you honestly just say that you’re going to sit in this corridor until I agree to...be your morality compass or something?”
“...Maybe?” Virgil replied vaguely.
She looked at him disparagingly, “You are an honestly terrible person.”
His reply was very quiet, and there was hurt in his voice, “I don’t want to be…”
Luna stared at him for another minute before heaving a sigh and rubbing her eyes, “Oh, ye gods and little fishes.” She paused, considering. Eventually, she said, “If I do...help you, not saying that I will, or what that even means...you won’t come around here anymore.”
The man looked up at her, the hope that had been growing there suddenly stymied by a look of consternation. “I...I can promise to not wander around the halls anymore? But, I come here to see Cohen, and he’s almost impossible to get to show up places to meet people. You really have to go to him, and he’s usually here. I’m not agreeing to not visit him anymore...but seeing him isn’t the problem. So, can I promise to not go anywhere other than his apartment? Is...that ok?”
“Hmm…” she grumbled through pursed lips. “I never want you coming around here to prey on people, ever again. I want to tell you to get bent and never return...but…” she hesitated, “it’s not my place to cancel the Doctor’s appointments. Gods know why he wants to see you though.”
“He’s a family friend…” Virgil explained under his breath.
If she had heard him, she didn’t let on. “So, if you just see the Doctor, and do nothing else…” she sighed, “then...I suppose that’s acceptable.”
Virgil nodded, “It’s not like I come here for any other reason…” He trailed off and the anxiously thoughtful look on his face returned, “I...never come here with the intent to do anything other than see him. Ever. I don’t show up thinking that I’m going to have sex or anything. I just...see people, and get distracted on my way there?” Luna stared at him incredulously, and it looked like he himself was surprised, “That...wow, that makes it even worse, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah! Yeah it does!” she exclaimed, “Honestly? You do this on impulse?”
“Yes! Oh my god, yes, it’s bad!” Virgil matched her incredulousness. “The fact that I never thought about it before is bad! This is why I…” his voice caught. When he continued, it was like he was having difficulty getting the words out, “I need help.”
“Oh, come off it!” she yelled.
He looked down again, “I know you can’t really know what that means, saying it hurts to say something, but it does. It hurts everything all the way to my soul to admit that. I’m not lying, but you can’t understand what it feels like, I know. Just...please. I have to do something, to get better.”
She paused and looked at him, scrutinizing, “...Why do you suddenly care so much? You obviously don’t care about people, or I think you would have clicked in a lot sooner to what you were doing. So why now?”
“I never realized before now,” he said sadly, “and now I know that I’m capable of doing things without noticing. I...could put my head back in the sand, but that’s…” he trailed off, giving his head a shake. “I need to relearn how to notice. I can, I can learn, I used to know, but I can’t do it by myself. Obviously.”
“Why do you need to be better? You’re a devil. Go back to Hell and be an ass; what difference does it make there?”
At her comment, he flinched and looked sad. Taking a breath, he closed his eyes and looked like he was thinking of an answer. When he reopened them, he looked almost confused; his eyes flicked about as he said, “I have to get better. If there’s some way for me to be better, or stronger, I need to do it.” The tone in his voice and his expression told a story of compulsion, that his motivation was just slightly beyond his grasp of reason, and he knew it.
“You know, I always just thought you were a cruel, self-absorbed idiot,” she said flatly. “Turns out you’re pathetic too.”
He flinched under her words and his own uncertainty before slumping over, his face nearly touching the floor; he whispered hoarsely, to himself, “...I wanted...to be a hero…”
Luna watched him, her expression somewhere between pity and disdain. Eventually, she sighed, “...Fine...I’ll help. I’m sure I’ll regret it though.”
Turning to look up at her, he asked quietly, “Really?”
She rolled her eyes sarcastically and sighed again, “If I don’t, you’re just going to keep having existential crises on the floor, and I’ll have to listen to you anyway.” Her voice dropped as she muttered, “Might as well pick the option that will get it over with sooner.”
Virgil bowed his head towards her, voice grateful, “Thank you!” As he stood up, he promised, “I won’t disappoint you. Anymore. Again. I won’t disappoint you again.” She snorted, obviously not believing a word he had just said. “Honestly. Thank you.”
He moved forwards and began to put his hands out, causing Luna to jump backwards, “Whoa, whoa whoa! What do you even think you’re doing?!”
He stopped and blinked, “Sorry!” Scratching behind his head, he explained sheepishly, “Sorry, I’m...huggy. I hug people.”
“Personal space!” she said vehemently, waving her arms about her in a wide circle. “Arms’ length! No closer! No other warnings!”
He nodded quickly, “I really am sorry!”
“Rule 1! No touching! Anybody! Unless you get their permission!”
“Is that…”
“You want to not be despicable, you don’t touch people if they don’t say you can, got it?”
“I...yes, ok.”
“While we’re at it, rule 2! No compulsion magic! It is the most demeaning form of magic, and there’s nothing good you’re ever going to do with it!”
“Well, I think there are some reasonable…”
“You obviously don’t know the difference! So don’t do it!”
Virgil frowned slightly, but nodded his head, “...I guess...I asked for your opinion…and that’s...mostly reasonable.”
“Good!” She exhaled and calmed herself down. “...There are probably more rules, but start with those.”
He looked somewhere between remorseful and sullen as he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were that touch adverse."
“I’m not touch adverse,” she muttered, “I just don’t want you touching me.”
He ignored her comment and continued, “I forget that some people don’t appreciate it. I’ve always done it though, ever since I was a kid.”
She raised an eyebrow at this, “Since when are devils kids? Devils aren’t kids.”
Virgil raised an eyebrow, “I told you: I wasn’t always a devil. I used to be human. Well, half-elf, actually.”
She looked at him flatly, “...You’re lying.”
“No, really," he was unfazed by her skepticism. "I have a weird family history. Which would really probably be better explained somewhere other than a hallway.” He looked up and down the corridor, “This is a really empty hall, actually. I think I’ve only seen three other people today.”
With a frown and a short sigh, she looked sidelong and said, “Yes. It’s a low-traffic area. Most of these offices are actually storage, and the ones that aren’t are for people who are usually working in labs or in their team lounges elsewhere.”
Virgil considered her for a moment before smiling warily, “Let’s go.”
Her exasperation was endless as she sighed, “Go where?”
“Anywhere. Where do you want to go?” he asked brightly, moving around her and starting to walk backwards into her office, smiling slightly larger now.
Her expression was bitter as she said, “There aren’t a whole lot of places I’m particularly wanted. If you spoke to anyone, I’m sure you figured that out.”
“Well, let’s go somewhere else then.”
“You have the thrilling choices of my lab, or my house.”
He chuckled slightly, “Expand your horizons a bit.”
“Don't talk in riddles,” she said dryly, walking in behind him with her arms folded.
“You do know that there are whole other countries, right? And that there are things called boats that will take you there?”
Luna’s eyes widened in shock. “I...I can’t…” She coughed, composing herself. “I can’t just leave work like that. It would take days or weeks to…”
“Takes about 18 hours to reach the closest shore of Cafeyete,” Virgil said, looking smug. “4 days to reach Akroum. You just spent a month at home; I don’t think anyone would mind if you went abroad for two or three weeks.”
“I didn’t stop working though!” she said indignantly.
“Then take your work with you. You only have to work 8 hour days; that’s 16 whole other hours to do other things. And don’t even tell me you can’t: Cohen wanders out for months or years at a time. I’m sure you can handle a few weeks.”
She frowned, “How do you know what the Doctor does?”
“I told you: he’s a family friend, and I’ve known him for basically my whole life. He wanders out all the time, when he feels like it. Do you want me to get his permission for you take a leave?”
“No!” she said vehemently, “Don't call him! He’s...he’s not my supervisor, and he doesn’t like being bothered.”
“Well, what do I need to do so you can go? Because honestly,” he turned serious, “you’re sad. You’re sad, and you need to get out and live again, because everyone here is telling you you can’t, and you don’t deserve that.”
“I can’t! OK?! I...people like me, can’t just…” she looked at the floor, “Can’t just...go where we like. We...aren’t wanted.”
Virgil took a breath, and said slowly, “Please trust me. I want to help. I want you to smile, actually smile. I swear that you can go out, and no one will judge you or be frightened of you, and it will be fun. But we have to get off this island first, because it’s not that you’re undead. I know undead who live in cities just fine. The real problem is that this is a small town, and they’re the same everywhere. Everyone’s practically born with an opinion of everyone else, and its toxic. So, let me take you somewhere else, just for a bit, so you can be anonymous again, and go out and do whatever you want, wherever you want. I swear, it will be good. Now, tell me honestly: do you need to get permission to take a vacation?”
She stood silently for a long while, staring at the floor. When she spoke again, it was sad, “...I don’t think anyone would notice.”
“Is there anything you’re working on now that can’t be left, or taken with you?”
“...No…”
“Then let’s go. Just for a bit. You’ve been working for decades; take a short break.” Luna looked at the floor, and appeared to want to say something, to argue, but instead she remained silent. Eventually, she nodded. He smiled, “Then let’s get dressed, and you can decide where you want to go. Heh, and if I start acting like an ass, you can tell me to stop.”
“What do you mean, get dressed?”
He grinned slyly, and gestured dramatically towards Luna’s chair. “Come here, and you’ll see.”
Pursing her lips, she said, “I’m not going anywhere, until I know what you’re doing.”
He sighed, equally dramatically, “Your make-up. Your illusions don’t last that long, right? This way you won’t have to worry about that. Really, it’s not like you even need illusions anyways.”
She huffed, folding her arms. “Make-up isn’t going to make any difference.”
“I will bet you literally anything that you’re wrong.”
She looked at him dryly, “Will you go away and stop bothering me?”
“Yes,” he said immediately. “I will turn around and go straight back to Hell and you will never see me again if you sit down, let me do your make-up and can tell me honestly afterwards that you can’t tell a difference.”
The speed and confidence of his reply caught her off-guard. Blinking, she rolled her eyes and took a seat, prompting Virgil to smile. When he rifled through his bag and pulled out a rather well-stocked cosmetics kit, she asked, “Why on earth do you have that much make-up?”
“Emergencies!” he said brightly. She frowned at him again, and he said, “Well, really, it’s just easy to hoard things in a bag of holding, so who knows half of what I’ve picked up. But it’s coming in handy now, isn’t it?” He started to pick through the kit before turning to her and asking formally, “I would like your permission to touch your face so that I can apply the cosmetics, and to do so, I need you to dispel your illusion.”
She squirmed a bit before replying, “...Fine. It was going to wear off soon anyways…” The illusion melted, revealing her pale, gaunt appearance.
He smiled, unfazed. “Thank you.” Kneeling over to closely scrutinize her face, she flinched noticeably under his gaze. Seemingly oblivious, he gently took off her glasses and began to work, chattering about make-up technique. Luna kept silent, but slowly relaxed as time passed.
When he finished, he stood back and looked thoughtful. “Almost...but you’re going to be worried about your teeth.” He thought for a few seconds more before snapping his fingers. From his bag he pulled a blue silk scarf and gestured towards her again. “May I?” She looked hesitant, but nodded, letting him wrap it about her, lightly covering her jaw and averting stray eyes from her mouth. He clapped his hands together, “There!” With a flourish, he pulled out a mirror and presented it to her, “What do you think?”
With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, she took the mirror, but when she looked in it, she blinked in surprise. She still looked thin, but the effect had minimized it, and had returned the appearance of life to her face. Virgil looked pleased with himself as she gazed transfixed in the mirror; she hadn’t ever looked that nice when she was alive, let alone recently. When she finally looked up again, he held out his hand and smiled, “Come on. Let’s go somewhere. You’re too pretty to hide indoors.”
She looked at him and back to the mirror. Eventually, she muttered, “...I’m not your friend.”
“Hmm?”
“I’m not your friend. I’m not going to be your friend. I’ll...help you figure out your problem, or whatever it is. But I don’t trust you. I can’t trust you. Because all I’ve ever seen you do again and again over twenty years is force people to trust you with their most intimate selves and then abandon them and destroy them. I won’t be another one of your victims.”
He kept his hand out as he replied with all seriousness, “I appreciate your kindness in helping me. I really, really do. I know you have no reason to bother with me, and I will do anything I can to repay it.” A grin played at his mouth as he continued, “But I have to warn you of something. Don’t tell me I can’t do things. Nothing makes me want to achieve something like being told I can’t. Not like the touching and magic things; I get that. I asked you to tell me what to do to be a better person. But to say I can’t be your friend? That I can’t win your trust? It just makes me want to do it all the more, and I’ll hang around all the longer, just to prove that I can be good enough for you.”
At this, she looked at him and eventually replied flatly, “So, either I’m stuck with you, eternally telling you to go away and knowing that you’re a terrible person...or I eventually get deceived into thinking you’re trustworthy, and that’s when you declare victory, leave and never come back. I lose both ways.”
“Since you're so convinced this is a game," he said smugly, "which it's not, tell me this: if the point of the game is to win your friendship, and the prize could only possibly be your friendship, why would I immediately proceed to throw the prize away? I get strength from people admiring me, not hating me; I don't feed on the tears of innocents. Stop being so pessimistic.”
“Optimistically…” she thought for a second, “I guess I can put ‘taught a devil remedial empathy’ on my resume.”
“And you gained a friend!” he added, not missing a beat.
She raised an eyebrow, “A selfish, impulsive, annoying, despicable, good-for-nothing. Great job, me.”
“I’m...good at make-up?” he ventured, looking hopeful.
She stared at him dryly before turning back to the mirror in her hand. “...*sigh* I guess you are.”
He pumped his fist in victory, “Yesss!” Giving his still-offered hand a shake, he said, “Come on! We’ve got stuff to do!”
“Are you always this impatient?”
“Only if there are things that need doing!" he said brightly. "And there usually are things that need to be done. Right now, you need to get out.”
She looked at him, his hand, and the mirror once more. Eventually, she sighed, and took his hand.
----
“I’m...sorry I made you sit in a bookstore all day…” Luna offered. They were in a port town in Cafeyete; night had long ago fallen, and the pair still wandered the streets, neither needing sleep.
Virgil smiled, “I like books! Why would you think I don’t like books?” She shrugged slightly. “Besides, it’s your vacation! You’re enjoying it; I’m just along for the ride.” Luna’s face was downcast, but a slight smile played at the corner of her lips, hidden by her scarf. “Where do you want to go next? Not a lot is going to be open now; mostly just bars and clubs, if that’s something that strikes your fancy.”
She thought about it for a moment, “...I don’t know...I haven’t been to one in a really long time...not since just after I, died.” The last word was said quietly, almost sadly.
Virgil overlooked her discomfort and replied, “If you want to go, let’s go! If you’re not feeling comfortable yet, don’t feel like you have to push yourself.” The two walked up and down streets, not particularly paying attention to where they were headed. “Do you know how to dance?”
“I’m not any good, but...I liked going, with my friends. ...Way back when…” She looked wistful as she said, “That’s where I met the Doctor, actually. He was disguised, and we all found out later that he was interviewing applicants for this position in secret. The grad student position. Because he wanted to pick who was going to...be on his staff forever.”
“Heh, yeah, that sounds like Cohen. He hangs out at clubs all the time. He’s not a bad dancer, heh,” Virgil grinned, “but he’s got nothing on me.”
Luna lifted an eyebrow, “...He was pretty good, from what I remember.”
“Heh. I’m better.”
“Is this it? Is this what your problem is?” she asked, though her tone held a note of good nature. “You can’t be the best at everything.”
“Well, I politely disagree with you.”
Suddenly, a man’s voice interrupted them. “Hey!” They looked around, snapped out of their reverie. They were in a narrow street, which they had turned down without any particular goal or direction in mind. Now that they were about halfway down its length, four men had revealed themselves from around some stacked crates, armed with daggers and staring at them with an intent that wasn’t hard to read. “Out for a late-night stroll, are ye?”
Virgil looked around with the surprise of someone who was just realizing where they were. "Oh geeze..." He turned to Luna and said earnestly, "I'm sorry, I really wasn't paying attention."
"Why? What's wrong?" she asked, looking about with confusion.
"We appear to have walked into the bad part of town."
The four men, leering and looking displeased that they had seemed to lost their audience's attention, began to slowly surround them. Their clothes suggested dock work and poverty, and their builds spoke of long days of heavy lifting. "What...what makes it a 'bad part of town'...?" she asked, before turning to the men, "What do you want?"
"What do you think we want, love?" one replied.
A second man continued, "Yer cash, yer jewels."
"Maybe what you got under yer skirt."
As they spoke, Luna's face became more shocked and offended. Virgil was unfazed, but explained, "Bad parts of town have crime. We're being mugged." He frowned, "I should have asked around before we started wandering..."
"You knew we could be robbed, and you forgot to ask where to avoid?!" she hissed. "How short-sighted are you?!"
Virgil turned to Luna and said to her, quickly and quietly, "I am really sorry; human muggers are such a laughable threat that I forgot they exist. But you aren't in danger, and I will deal with this, OK? Don't worry, and don't be scared; no one will touch you."
"Did you do this on purpose?!" she hissed angrily.
"What? No! Why would I do that!?"
"Because you're twisted and wanted to impress me or something!?"
"Oh for the love of..." he rubbed his eyes. "No. Just no. I'm a forgetful idiot, fine, but that’s just messed up. Also: why would I think violence impresses you? But we can argue about this later." He turned his attentions back to the encroaching men, "Now, smart muggers probably would have been tipped off by now that they were messing with the wrong people, seeing as how we barely seem to notice that you exist. But, you're still here, so you obviously aren't smart." The insult caused their expressions to darken, but Virgil wasn't done yet, "Honestly, I'd like to just tell you all to go fuck yourselves, but, I promised not to use compulsion magic. I also promised not to touch anyone! And since I'm trying so very hard to be a decent person, I can't just set you on fire. Kind of rules out weapons too, so, really, this is going to be interesting all around. What kind of birds do you have around here?"
"...What?" one of them replied, confused. "Whatda mean, what kind of fuckin' birds do we have?"
"I ain't fighting no fuckin' wizard..." another one said, pausing, hesitance showing on his face.
His companion turned to him, “He ain’t no fuckin’ wizard! He’s tryin’ ta throw us off.”
Virgil looked smug, quickly muttering and making a few gestures. A copy of himself leaned over the hesitant man’s shoulder and said, grinning, “Oh, I’m far worse than a wizard.”
The original continued, “Do you want to find out how much?”
With a bit of a whimper, the man dropped the knife he had been holding and backed away quickly, “Don’t want no trouble with no wizards…” he said shakily, and despite the jeers and shouts of his compatriots, he ran off in the other direction.
Virgil smiled at Luna, “One down; no violence, compulsion, or touching!” He turned back to them, “Now, none of you answered my question. Birds.” He sighed, “Ugh, shore town. Only thing I can really count on here is seagulls. Gods, I hate seagulls.” He brightened suddenly, “Wanna see a trick?” The remaining three men all stood defensively, eyeing him and twisting their weapons about. Virgil cleared his throat; calling out, he made a strikingly perfect imitation of a seagull cry, confusing all four assembled viewers. “Now we’ll see if there are any about. Might not be, but we’ll see.”
As Virgil gave a second bird call, one of the men scowled darkly. “You makin’ fun of us, wizard? Laugh at this!” Taking his dagger, he threw it towards Virgil, the blade poised to hit him in the chest.
With no lack of grace, Virgil caught the dagger as it hurled towards him, and without pause, he twirled about the weapon and sent it careening back towards its owner with a powerful toss. The hilt of the blade connected squarely with the man’s forehead with a sound crack, and he keeled over, unconscious. The two men looked in shock between their fallen partner and Virgil, who had in turn had looked towards Luna with a bit of reservation on his face. “So, that was a little violent? I didn’t draw a weapon, and I only used it non-lethally; guy is going to have a killer headache, but nothing permanent. Is that fine? Is that still in the realm of reasonable? I’m not going for pacifist or anything, but,” his eyes flicked upwards, “oh hey, there are some here.” He cut himself off and gave another bird call as he looked towards the men once more.
With growls, the two men leapt forwards, trying to double-team their opponent. Suddenly, a seagull flew down from above and attacked one of the men, beating him with its wings and beak, stopping him in his tracks. As the other man watched, two more joined it, with Virgil apparently egging them on, calling as loudly as the birds themselves. Under the avian assault, the man shouted and flailed, but couldn’t manage to strike the moving targets snapping and flapping in his face. With an anguished string of curses, he pulled back and ran off down the alley, chased by the angry, squawking birds. Virgil chuckled and turned back to Luna, “Seagulls are complete assholes, but, apparently that’s useful sometimes. I didn’t charm them!” he pointed out quickly, “I just asked for a hand with an aggressor, totally legit. No magic,” he held up his hands open-palmed, as though he was hiding nothing.
The fourth and final man still held out his dagger, looking back and forth between Virgil and the alley behind him. Virgil smiled, “Are you still here?” Making a series of unintelligible growls, he seemed undecided whether to throw his knife or make a run for it. “Here, I’ll make it simple,” Virgil said, pushing his hair back. With uncanny speed, he jumped forwards, his human form melting off of him; he gave a single clap of his wings, causing a gust of wind that nearly knocked the man over. “Get!” Virgil shouted, and with a cry, the man scrambled away down the street after his two long-gone allies. Virgil chuckled as he turned the corner, “There, I think that was…”
“What in the hell are you even supposed to be?!” Luna interrupted him. He turned back around to see her standing, staring incredulously with her hands up in a questioning gesture.
He blinked, “Oh. Heh,” he scratched behind his ear, “I guess you’ve never seen my real form.” He spread out his hands, “Ta da!”
She looked at him blankly for a few seconds, before she began to giggle. Her sporadic chuckles quickly grew to hysterical laughter; between paroxysms she stuttered out, “You...you’re...ha ha ha! You’re a bloody stupid peacock! That makes so much sense! Ha ha!”
As she held her sides, Virgil huffed, “M’not a peacock.” Crossing his arms, the plumage on his head puffed up slightly, emphasizing his displeasure, serving only to redouble Luna’s laughter. She continued to laugh, not noticing the expression on his face darkening as she did so. Just as he opened his mouth, his expression suggesting that whatever he was about to say would not be spoken kindly, he stopped. After the briefest pause, he grinned himself, smoothing his feathers out as he did. “There. I got what I wanted.”
“Hee hee hee! Hee hee! What?” Luna asked, trying to compose herself. “What’s that now?”
He smiled smugly, “I got you to smile.” He shrugged, “Would have preferred it to be something other than my own expense, but...I suppose sacrifices have to be made sometimes.”
She wiped her eyes, “Hee hee hee. It just...makes so much sense. Here I thought you were some sort of...I don’t know, terrifying hell creature. And really, you’re a bird. Because what do birds do, other than strut around looking for mates and food? Hee hee. You really can’t help it.” She wiped her eye once more, “Hee hee. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be laughing.”
“That’s...alright,” he said with a snort. “You needed a laugh.”
“Heh.” She took a step forwards, inspecting his large wings. “Can you fly?”
“Of course!” He glanced around, “Probably isn’t the best place for it though.”
“No, of course not. I was just wondering. Probably magical, to some degree. Not sure you’d actually be aerodynamic…” She leaned in to look closely, adjusting her glasses. “Your feathers are huge.”
He held out one of his wings towards her, “You can feel them, if you’d like.”
She looked at him dryly, though not lacking in good nature, “Not everyone wants to touch you.”
“Your call,” he replied, shrugging.
Both of them smiled. Luna felt something on her hand; looking at it, she frowned when she saw a smear. “Ohh, damn it. I forgot I was wearing make-up…”
“That’s fine. Easy enough to redo,” Virgil said, shifting back to his human form. “We should probably find a better spot for that though. Don’t worry, it’s not enough to make a difference, especially in this light.” He glanced down to the man he had knocked out cold, “...We should probably drag him out to the street so someone finds him."
She nodded, “Should we take him to a physician or something?”
Virgil shrugged, “I think he’ll probably wake up before we’d get him anywhere, and he’d just be...upset, at us. Better to put him in the open and leave him to sort out his own devices.”
“That doesn’t seem very right…” she frowned, crossing her arms.
Virgil thought for a moment, then offered, “We take him to the street, then report that we saw him on the road to a cop. He gets help if he hasn’t woken up and left; we don’t risk ourselves. That ok?”
Luna didn’t seem fully convinced, but she nodded her head, “I guess that’s reasonable.”
“Ok!” Virgil sized up the unconscious man before leaning over and picking him up, tossing him over his shoulder, “Let’s go.” They made their way back the way they had come. “So...was that ok? Was I reasonable?” he asked.
Luna looked up at him with a sort of thoughtful wariness. Eventually, she sighed, “I guess...that wasn’t a terrible way to handle it.”
“Yes!” he congratulated himself. “See, I’ll get the hang of it again, no problems. Where do you want to go next.”
She looked around, and with a resigned sigh she replied, “Screw it, let’s go dancing.”
Virgil reiterated his exclamation, “Yes!”
Category:Rise of the Runelords