Spoiler Alert

Spoiler Alert is the fortieth episode of Cult of Squid. It aired October 14th, 2020 alongside The Possession, and was written by Purple133.
== Plot ==
When a shaman who can see into the future arrives to tell of how the coming battle against Satan ends gets murdered on cult grounds, Squidward puts the cult on lockdown until the murderer is brought to justice.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins with a cloaked figure approaching the almost fully reconstructed cult)
'''
Security: Hey you! 
'''
(The Initiator appears)
'''
Initiator: Wait a minute you’re actually doing your job?
'''
Security: For once yes.
'''
Initiator: Wow. That’s. Wow.
'''
Security: Anyways who’s that?
'''
Initiator: No clue.
'''
(The figure removes his hood and it’s some old bearded fish)
'''
Security: Uh hello?
'''
Fish: Hello! Did somebody call for a shaman?
'''
Security: (opens door) YO SQUIDWARD!
'''
(Squidward walks outside)
'''
Squidward: What do want- hey wait Security are you actually doing your job?
'''
Security: Why does everybody keep asking me that? Yes!
'''
Squidward: Huh, odd. Anyways, what do you need?
'''
Security: This dude claims to be a shaman.
'''
Squidward: Ah yes, welcome Malik!
'''
Malik: Greetings. So I understand you need your future predicted?
'''
Squidward: Yes, exactly right. 
'''
Malik: May I come inside?
'''
Squidward: Yeah sure.
'''
(Squidward leads Malik to the main lounge)
'''
Malik: Wow, nice place you have here.
'''
Squidward: Thank you. Now can we get on with this?
'''
Malik: Yeah yeah. So what aspect of your future do you want to focus on?
'''
Squidward: The Satan part.
'''
Malik: You want to know if you’re going up or down? Well considering the damage you and your cult did I don’t need to use my powers to assume you’re going down-
'''
Squidward: No no I mean literal Satan. Like we pissed him off.
'''
Malik: Now that is a rarity. Well, I’ll see what I can do. Hey, do you by chance have a bathroom? I held it the entire walk here.
'''
Squidward: You walked here?
'''
Malik: Yeah.
'''
(Squidward walks Malik down the hall to the bathroom)
'''
Squidward: (knocks on door) let this man use the bathroom!
'''
Noseward: OCCUPIDO!
'''
Squidward: Okay then.
'''
(Noseward walks out of the bathroom)
'''
Noseward: Hey who’s this?
'''
Squidward: This-
'''
Malik: Pleasure to meet you, I’m Malik!
'''
Noseward: Well hi Malik, I’m Noseward. 
'''
Malik: Okay I have to use the John.
'''
(Malik runs into the bathroom and suddenly the lights cut out)
'''
Malik: Hey, what are you doing in here? 
'''
Squidward: (knocks on door) hey I didn’t permit for you to take shrooms on my property!
'''
Malik: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
'''
Noseward: Man he must have hit them hard.
'''
Squidward: (knocks on door) Malik you good?
'''
(Squidward knocks on the door again to no avail)
'''
Noseward: He must have passed out.
'''
(Squidward forces the door open and Malik is dead with a knife laying by him on the floor)
'''
Squidward: Alright. Alright. NOSEWARD INITIATE LOCKDOWN!
'''
Noseward: Brother Squidward are you sure?
'''
Squidward: JUST DO IT!
'''
(A giant metal pyramid forms around the regular pyramid)
'''
Buff Jim: DAMMIT I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE!
'''
(The Initiator appears behind Buff Jim)
'''
Initiator: How curious that you were just about to leave following a...MURDER!
'''
Buff Jim: Wait what?! Who’s been murdered?
'''
Initiator: The Shaman?
'''
Buff Jim: We have a shaman?
'''
(Cut to Squidward, Noseward, Initiator, Buff Jim, Doctor Crayons, and a couple other cultists in a room)
'''
Squidward: So according to my calculations, we were the only ones in the building when the Shaman was murdered.
'''
Noseward: Wait where is everybody else?
'''
Squidward: Doctor Crayons?
'''
Doctor Crayons: I wanted to throw a surprise birthday party for Brother Blue and sent everybody on the party bus to get supplies.
'''
Brother Blue: wait you were gonna throw me a surprise birthday party?
'''
Doctor Crayons: Yes.
'''
Brother Blue: Man.
'''
Squidward: Either way, one of us has to be the culprit. So who dunnit? It could be you, it could be me, it could’ve been a suicide for all we know!
'''
Brother Elder: Yes it was probably a suicide.
'''
Sister Yvonne: You know that how?
'''
Brother Elder: Are you accusing me of something Sister?
'''
Sister Yvonne: Well I find it a little suspicious how fast you jumped to conclusions.
'''
Brother Elder: And I find it a little suspicious that you showed up today despite calling in sick.
'''
Sister Yvonne: What are you going on about? This isn’t a job, it’s a lifestyle.
'''
Brother Elder: Squidward check the logs.
'''
Squidward: That’s BROTHER Squidward. Okay.
'''
(Squidward pulls up the logs)
'''
Squidward: Wait what. Yvonne you can’t call in sick it’s against cult policy. 
'''
Yvonne: That’s not really fair policy-
'''
Squidward: Shut up! Let’s try and figure out who it couldn’t be. Well we can instantly eliminate Dr. Crayons since he was in the basement in his lab already on lockdown.
'''
Brother Blue: Wait why?
'''
Crayons: I accidentally contaminated my lab with deadly chemicals. 
'''
Brother Blue: Wait so when you got called here and left you opened the door and now there’s chemicals everywhere?
'''
Crayons: Yep.
'''
Brother Blue: Nice.
'''
Brother Elder: Can we get on with this?
'''
Squidward: Brother Elder you’ve been acting pretty suspicious, care to inquire?
'''
Brother Elder: I was cleaning my room when I got called here.
'''
Squidward: Fair enough. 
'''
(There’s a knock at the main door)
'''
Squidward: Uh we’re in lockdown!
'''
Cult Mailman: Oh okay I’ll just leave your mail. Wait, this needs to be inside, it’s raining!
'''
Squidward: Ugh fine.
'''
(Squidward turns off lockdown and the mailman enters)
'''
Cult Mailman: Brother Squidward I need to bring this to your storage immediately.
'''
Squidward: Why?
'''
Cult Mailman: (whispers to Squidward) it’s the explosives they need to be away.
'''
Squidward: Oh okay.
'''
(The mailman walks downstairs)
'''
Brother Blue: Wait he just gets to walk in? Somebody’s dead!
'''
Squidward: Important delivery. 
'''
Brother Elder: Alright then.
'''
Security: So uh, what now?
'''
Squidward: I’ll go make pizza.
'''
Noseward: I’ll help him!
'''
Brother Blue: I’ll go check on the mailman.
'''
Sister Yvonne: I’ll help him!
'''
(Squidward and Noseward walk into the kitchen)
'''
Squidward: It’s Brother Blue.
'''
Noseward: Wait what?
'''
Squidward: Just trust me, it’s him.
'''
Noseward: Okay then. Wait why do you think it’s him?
'''
Squidward: Think about how quick he was to point the finger at Brother Elder. Who’s an elder!
'''
Noseward: That is true, but what damning evidence do we have?
'''
(Yvonne screams downstairs)
'''
Security: YVONNE!
'''
(Security jumps over the table and sprints downstairs to see the mailman dead and Brother Blue with a knife aimed at Yvonne)
'''
Brother Blue: Oh piss.
'''
Security: Mind explaining what’s going on here?
'''
Brother Blue: (throws knife) she attacked me!
'''
Security: Yeah mhm.
'''
Brother Blue: Alright whatever.
'''
(Blue grabs the knife and lunges at Security)
'''
Security: GAH!
'''
Blue: I’LL KILL YOU ALL!
'''
(Squidward and Noseward show up downstairs and see Blue and Security wrestling)
'''
Squidward: I knew it! Brother Blue, turn over your robes you’re being expelled.
'''
Blue: I’LL KILL YOU TOO!
'''
(Blue picks up his knife and runs at Squidward who steps aside and lets Blue trip and fall down a flight of stairs)
'''
Squidward: Whoopsies!
'''
Security: Oh haha brother Squidward you’re so funny.
'''
Squidward: He’s gonna be in jail for a long time. We can’t keep having cult members turn on us like this!
'''
Security: Yeah it seems to be a persistent issue.
'''
(Buff Jim walks downstairs)
'''
Buff Jim: Hey guys the Initiator vanished again. Also is that Brother Blue crippled down there?
'''
Noseward: Yes. Yes it is.
'''
Buff Jim: Oh okay.
'''
(Squidward walks to the cult jail room and pushes Blue into a cell)
'''
Blue: (wakes up) I’ll have my revenge! You’ll see!!
'''
(Cut to a cult meeting)
'''
Squidward: Hello Brothers, so the shaman was killed by Brother Blue and so was the cult mailman.
'''
(Everyone gasps)
'''
Squidward: Don’t worry we’ll replace him fast.
'''
(Everyone sighs)
'''
Squidward: Anyways that’s all. Oh wait also the shower in sector nine is still clogged so don’t try to shower over that. Okay that’s all.
'''
(Cut to Brother Blue sitting in his jail cell)
'''
Brother Blue: This sucks. There’s literally nobody in this jail.
'''
Random Crab: I’m here.
'''
Brother Blue: Who are you?
'''
Random Crab: Name’s Clawbeard the Pirate my lass. I’m going to bust us out of here!
'''
Blue: Really?
'''
Clawbeard: Argh. We’ll go up north, I own some land there anyways. 
'''
(Clawbeard punches the wall and it instantly gives way from the punch’s force, then the two leave through the hole in the wall)
'''
Blue: I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
Clawbeard: Yarrrr me too lass, me too.
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