Transcript: Horrid Henry Horrid Boy?

Peter: (enters the kitchen) Hello, Mum! How was your day today?
Mum: (cooking dinner) Really good.
(Peter takes a coloring book and a box of crayons out of his school bag and begins to color. Henry runs into the kitchen and throws his schoolbag on the floor, causing Fluffy to scurry off and Peter's crayons to fall off the table.) 
Peter: Hey! (picking his crayons up)
Henry: I'm hungry. What's for tea, Mum?
Mum: Nothing, unless you pick up your bag and go and do your homework.
Henry: But-
Mum: No buts, Henry!
(Henry groans and goes to do what he's told as he leaves the kitchen. As he walks out, a paper falls out of his bag)
Mum: Wait! You dropped something! (sighs because Henry didn't hear her) Oh, it's bound to be homework. (picks up the paper and reads it) Oh. "Dear Parents...writing to inform you..."(continues reading) This isn't homework!
Peter: No, it's an obser...obsuh-
Mum: Observation of each child's strengths and weaknesses.
Peter: Oh, yes. Don't worry, Mum! Miss Lovely said we'll all pass with flying colors!
Mum: (pats Peter's head) Yes, I'm sure you will, honey peach. It's Henry I'm worried about.
Peter: Oh yes...well he's going down big time.
Mum: That's not a very nice thing to say, Peter!
Peter: Oh, I didn't say it! Miss Battle-Axe said it to Mr. Soggington at break time. They didn't know I was listening.
Mum: I'm sure they didn't. Well, we'll just have to make sure they don't find out what Henry's really like, won't we?
Peter: Why?
Mum: (shrugs) Well...because they might think we're really bad parents if they find out what Henry's really like.
Peter: Oh, but you're the best in the whole wide world!
Mum: Oh, Peter! You say the nicest things.
Peter: Can I go and watch Number Gnomes now, Mum? I've finished all my homework.
Mum: Of course you can. Tea will be ready soon.
(the scene switches to the following morning. Mum is preparing to give Henry and Peter their lunches)
Mum: Hurry up, Henry! You're going to be late! (hands Peter his lunch) Here you go, Peter.
Peter: Ooh, thanks Mum. What's for lunch today?
Mum: (shows Peter his lunch) Carrot sandwiches. 
Peter: Mmmm, sounds delicious!
Mum: And Henry's got the same.
Peter: Oh, he's not going to like that.
Mum: I know. But he's gonna have to put up with it. This is one week where he is not going to be horrid.
Henry: (running down the stairs) What's for lunch today, Mum?
Mum: Carrot sandwiches. (hands Henry his lunch as he runs out the door, crossing her fingers)
Henry: (stops running) HEALTHY stuff?!
Mum: Yes, and you're going to have to get used to it.
Henry: Why?!
Mum: Because this is ONE week where you are NOT going to be horrid, Henry!
Henry: (turns to the camera) Me? Not be horrid? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(title card opens)
(the scene opens up to Henry and his family eating a dinner of vegetables)
Henry: (belches) That's better. Boys cannot survive on carrot sandwiches alone! Especially when you don't eat them.
Peter: Mmmmm, I love carrot sandwiches!
Henry: That's because you're a worm, Peter. And worms love carrots!
Peter: No they do not!
Dad: (clears his throat) That's enough, boys.
Peter: But Dad, Henry said-
Dad: I know what he said, Peter. But it's time to do your homework.
Henry: Uh-oh! I just remembered something really important that I forgot to do! (tries to run out of the kitchen)
Dad: (blocks Henry with his arm) Henry! Get out your homework now.
Henry: Um, I haven't got any.
Mum: Do you expect us to believe that?
Henry: Well I haven't got any on me. (turns his pockets outward) Look, my pockets are empty.
Mum: (sighs and points to the door) Go and get your homework, Henry.
Henry: (walks to the door and stops) Well which homework do you want? Tonight's, or last night's, or the night before? No, I think I even got last week's, too.
Dad: (stands up) Henry!!
(Henry leaves the kitchen, and the scene switches to the dining room where Dad sits at the table, doing Henry's homework)
Henry: (addressing the audience) Can you believe this? Dad's doing my homework for me! (turns to Dad) How's it going, Dad?
Dad: Not very well. Can you ask Mum to make me a cup of tea?
Henry: Of course! And can I watch TV while doing that?
Dad: No!
(Henry groans as he climbs out of the chair)
Dad: Wait a minute, Henry. What was it you wanted to watch on TV?
Henry: Um...
Dad: Because...if it's an educational program, then I think your mum and I might make an exception, just this once.
Henry: Oh. Uh, right. Well I was going to watch Boodle Poodles.
Dad: Hmm...don't think I've seen that one. What's it about?
Henry: Ehh, it's all about how clever animals are.
Dad: Oh, well it sounds educational enough. Off you go.
Henry: Thanks, Dad! (heads for the door) Haha, I can't believe it! (runs out the dining room)
Dad: Don't forget my cup of tea!
(scene switches to Henry sitting in the living room with Fluffy, watching Boodle Poodles. Peter walks in and stands in front of the TV)
Peter: Have you done your homework yet, Henry?
Henry: Dad's doing it for me.
Peter: What?! Why?!
Henry: I dunno, he's just doing it. Now move, smelly nappy baby! I can't see what Princess Poppypants is doing.
Peter: (gasps and turns to the TV) You're watching Boodle Poodles!
Henry: Yeah! It's educational, worm.
Peter: I'm telling Mum.
Henry: She already knows.
(Peter steps out of the way in awe as Princess Poppypants dances and spins a mop on her leg)
Peter: Ooh! (chuckles) That's clever!
Henry: See? Told you it was educational. (winks at the audience)
(the scene switches to the next day. Mum opens the door as Henry trudges into the house)
Mum: So...how was your day, Henry?
Henry: (hands over his lunch box) Not good. Lettuce sandwiches are even worse than carrot sandwiches.
Mum: Homework? (Henry hands it to her) Thanks. Now get your trainers on.
Henry: What?
Mum: Trainers on, we're going for a run before tea.
Henry: (addresses the audience) I think my parents have gone seriously mad!
(the scene switches to Henry's bedroom. Fang is lifting weights as Henry enters the room. He turns on his boombox and flops onto his bed.)
Henry: That's it. I'm now officially on strike.
(Dad opens the door and walks to Henry's boombox. He replaces the rock music CD with a classical music CD)
Henry: What's that?!
Dad: That is proper music. (closes the door as Henry scoffs, then opens the door again a second later) Which you are going to listen to, or else.
Henry: Or else what?
Dad: Or else...I won't do your homework! (closes the door again)
Henry: Parents...they're so weird!
(the scene switches to the following day. Once again Mum opens the door as Henry arrives home from school)
Mum: So, how was your day at school today, Henry?
Henry: (sighs and hands over his lunch box) I pretended to eat the beetroot sandwiches...just like you told me to.
Mum: Good. Any homework?
Henry: (lifts his schoolbag) Loads. Miss Battle-Axe can't believe that I'm actually doing my homework. So she's giving me loads more to prove I can do it!
Mum: Oh, your dad will be pleased.
Henry: Oh and I got this stupid questionnaire to fill in.
Mum: Questionnaire? What questionnaire?
Henry: Well we're having this- obser...obvis-"
Mum: Observation, Henry. The word is observation. Now go on.
Henry: Hm. And we've gotta fill in a questionnaire about all the things we like doing at home.
Mum: Give it to me, Henry.
Henry: But they said we've got to fill it in all by ourselves.
Mum: I said give it to me, Henry.
Henry: Alright, alright, uhm...I've got it here somewhere... (rummages through his school bag; taking all his stuff out but is unable to find it) I definitely had it when I left school...
Mum: (sighs)
Henry: (spots the paper in his back pocket) Ah, here it is. (takes it out of his pocket)
Mum: (takes it from Henry) "How many hours of TV do you watch a week?" "How much time do you spend on the computer?" "What sort of music do you listen to-?" "Do you eat sweets?!" (gasps) That's it. We're done for!
Henry: What are you talking about, Mum?
Mum: Never mind, Henry. Go to your room.
Henry: Uh, can I have my questionnaire back?
Mum: No! Go to your room NOW, Henry.
Henry: But- what about tea?
Mum: You can have tea in the morning! Now go!
Henry: (turns to audience and sighs) I give up.
(the scene changes to the next morning. Peter skips out the front door to go to school as Mum waves goodbye. Henry runs downstairs and Mum gives Henry his lunch.)
Henry: (opens his lunchbox and groans) Mushroom sandwiches...yum yum.
Mum: Off you go, Henry. It's Friday today.
Henry: I know that, Mum.
Mum: Last day of the week!
Henry: I know that too.
Mum: (hands Henry an envelope) Don't forget your questionnaire.
Henry: (facepalms) Oh, I forgot to fill it in! Miss Oddbod's gonna kill me!
Mum: Don't worry! I filled it in for you.
Henry: (takes envelope) Oh! Thanks, Mum! See you later! (runs out the door)
(Mum closes the door and sighs in relief, as Dad comes in)
Dad: Did we get away with it?
Mum: I think so. 
Dad: So, how much TV did you say Henry watched a week?
Mum: None, of course.
Dad: Hours on the computer?
Mum: None. He does all his homework every night, even when he gets double, he only eats vegetable sandwiches, he loves cross country running, and he doesn't eat sweets.
Dad: (laughs) That sounds like our Henry! Not such a horrid boy, eh?
Mum: Oh! And I said that he makes paper-mache models in his spare time.
Dad: Genius! (him and Mum high five)
(The scene changes to that afternoon. Mum excitedly opens the door as Henry returns home for the third time)
Henry: (sarcastically) Oh, how I love mushroom sandwiches.
Dad: (runs down the stairs) So, Henry! How was your day?
Henry: Okay. We got given sweets for taking in our questionnaires.
Dad: Really?
Henry: Yeah. Cool, eh? Oh, and I've got a letter for you from school.
Mum: For us?
Dad: (takes the envelope and opens it, and begins reading the note with Mum) "To Henry's mum and dad...we have been observing Henry all week and we are seriously worried about him?"
Mum: Oh, no! They found out how horrid he is after all!
Dad: "He doesn't watch TV or play computer games, he only eats strange vegetable sandwiches, he has never eaten a sweet in his life, and he does all his homework, even when he's given double!"
Mum: But that's good, isn't it?
Dad: Apparently not. (continues reading the note) "All these things are really not normal for a boy of his age. So we would like to recommend that you attend a course...to learn how to be better parents?? Straight away?!"
Mum & Dad: (exchange glances) NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(episode ends)