Annoying Orange - Annoying States of America/Transcript

Little Apple: Okay, put this one way in the back.
Pear: Hehey, you guys finally doing that road trip you've been talking about?
Orange: Yep, we're WHEEL-y doing it. (laughs)
Grapefruit: You wanna come with?
Pear: Where are we going?
Grapefruit: Dunno yet, I'm just gonna throw this dart at a map, and wherever it lands, that's where we'll go!
(dart lands on Map)
Map: AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!
Orange: Ohhhhh, right in the Oxnard! (laughs)
Map: Owie Owie Owie Owie Owie!
Little Apple: Okay, this might sting a bit.
Map: (groans) Santa Barbara, that hurts!
Grapefruit - Sorry bro, just doing the ol' dart-at-a-map thing. You understand.
Map: (groans) Y'know what I DON'T understand? Why didn't you just ask ME where to go?
Little Apple: You? Are you a travel agent or something?
Map: Pretty much. I've been all over these 50 nifty United States of ours. I've been everywhere, man. I've been to Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota-
Grapefruit: OK, we don't need your life story, bro. A simple recommendation would be fine.
Map: I'll tell you this much, don't go to Oxnard. Not this time of year, anyway. That's wine country. They're crushing every grape in sight for the next few months and any fruit in the area is liable to be collateral damage.
Little Apple: Wow, I had no idea central California was so dangerous.
Map: So let me ask you this: where have you guys already visited?
Grapefruit: I mean we don't really get out too much. Not since the old Nerville days, anyway.
Map: Okay, so where, I might ask, is this kitchen located? Where are we right now?
(crickets chirping)
Grapefruit: Umm...
Pear: Uhh...
Map: Hold on. You guys don't even know where in the world you live?
Orange: If I had to guess, I'd say riiiight there.
Map: AAAUGH! You hit me at Louisana!
Orange: Nothing gets bayou! (laughs)
Map: (groans) How about this: what's somewhere you'd like to go?
Orange: Ooh! Ooh! Little Apple wants to go to St. Paul.
Little Apple: I do?
Orange: Sure! You'll fit right at home in Mini-sota! (laughs)
Little Apple: GRRR!
Pear: I think we should tour the Northeast. Boston, Lexington, Gettysburg...
Orange: More like Gettys-bore. (laughs)
Pear: (sighs) Orange, you have no sense at history. Do you even know where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Orange: Sure. At the bottom. (laughs)
Pear: (groans)
Orange: Okay, okay. Let's plan a trip for the Northeast. But once we get to Buffalo, I say we wing it! (laughs)
Map: (groans) Does he always make bad jokes like this?
Grapefruit: Buddy, that's the best joke he's told in weeks.
Map: Okay, might I offer a suggestion or two? Cuz I've been all over these 50 states, and there's so much to see. Sandy beaches, spectacular vistas, lighthouses, windmills-
Orange: Ooh! Windmills? I'm a huge fan! (laughs)
Map: (groans) Okay, well what do you guys think about visiting the Pacific Northwest?
Little Apple: Could be fun. Say, what's the capital of Washington?
Orange: "W"! (laughs)
Pear, Little Apple, Grapefruit, and Map: STOP!
Map: Say, you know what's nice this time of year? Kansas City.
Grapefruit: Sounds good.
Map: Whoa. Really? You all agree on Kansas City?
Orange: Sure! Why wouldn't we? After all, Missouri loves company! (laughs)
Map: (groans) Listen, can we just hit the road already? I can't stand being cooped up in the kitchen with this orange. Somebody just fold me up and we'll be on our way.
Grapefruit: Okay, let's see here.
Map: No, the other way.
Grapefruit: Umm...
Map: The other OTHER way!
Grapefruit: Little help here, fellas?
Orange: Little help? I know just the apple for that! (laughs)
Little Apple: Orange!
Map: Do not bend me that way! I do not bend that way!
Grapefruit: Sorry bro, this is just really hard, and-
Map: Enough! This is not working out! The folding, the puns... I think it's best if everyone just took a deep breath. Okay. There is no reason we have to leave right this moment. I just wanted to relax, collect my thoughts... let's just put a pin on this.
Orange: Map's right, you guys. Let's put a dart in this.
Map: That's not where I-
Orange, Pear, and Little Apple: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
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