That was no lady

"That was no lady, that was my wife" is the traditional joke answer to the query "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?" Though vaudevillian Lew Fields (of the team Weber and Fields) often took credit for the routine, theater historians trace it further back to 19th-century minstrel shows. 
The old joke continued through burlesque, vaudeville, and even modern stand-up comedy, although the cliche was more frequently subject to variations, often punning, as well as the reversal “That was no lady. That was *your* wife,” which was used on radio (including the 1932 Marx Brothers series Flywheel, Shyster & Flywheel) and in print. In later decades, "That was no lady" was so familiar a phrase as to be used as TV episode titles on The Golden Girls, Cannon, The Odd Couple. and SpongeBob SquarePants while substitute noun versions were used on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, a The Inspector cartoon short, and My Two Dads among others. 
==References==
*Fozzie Bear, no stranger to old jokes, used the gag multiple times. In The Muppet Show episode 103, he responds to Kermit's "That was no joke" with a well-timed "That was my wife!"
*Fozzie tells a version in The Muppet Show episode 106 involving two cannibals. "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?" "That was no lady, that was my lunch."
*Three-headed entertainer Tom, Dick, and Harry tells it in episode 119, concluding "That was no lady, that was a pawn shop sign" (which traditionally showed three spheres).
*Fozzie tries to tell the traditional version of the joke in episode 207, with his ventriloquist dummy Chuckie. After Fozzie exits, Chuckie tells the audience he spent the night alone.
*When Fozzie's magic act is delayed for lack of an assistant in episode 320, the bear stalls for time by addressing the sawing-in-half box: "That was no box, that was my luggage!" 
*An alien version was used in the premiere of The Jim Henson Hour, as uttered by Digit: "That was no norblik, that was my peen-freeble!"
*During Statler and Waldorf's performance of "Who's Your Lady Friend?" in The Muppets at Walt Disney World, Statler asks "Who was that lady I saw you with at Epcot?" Waldorf answers "That was no lady, that was my nurse!"
*Joey and Davey Monkey, trying to pay for bananas with vaudeville jokes, attempt their version in Sesame Street Episode 3146: "Who was that gorilla I saw you with last night?" "That was no gorilla. That was my mother."
*In Sesame Street Episode 3513, after a princess has turned into a phone booth and back again, the prince says, "That's no telephone - that's my wife!"
*During Gordon's performance of "Rubber Duckie" as part of the grown-ups' play in Sesame Street Episode 3826, he introduces Susan dressed as a shower. His introduction, after a comment from Bob: "That's no shower, that's my wife!"
*The Two-Headed Comic tries the joke in Muppets Tonight episode 110, only for the other head to reply, miffed, "That was no lady, that was *me*!"
*Vaudeville veteran Gary Cahuenga, auditioning a new partner in Muppets Tonight episode 210, asks all auditioners "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?", with each one saying they were watching wrestling rather than being with a lady.
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Category:Joke References