Andrew Dirkenheim

== Overview ==
Derek Dirkenheim is a Rice Krispy Treat maker.
== Detailed Biography ==
Andrew Dirkenheim is a husband, father, and self-proclaimed "bon vivant" who sells Rice Krispie Treats for a living. He has come onto hard times due to the dessert falling out of style, and he is no longer able to provide school supplies (guitars, bicycles made out of chips, etc.) to his four children – one of which he appears to hate.
As the DJs pry into Andrew's life, it becomes clear that making Rice Krispies is the only profession he is allowed to pursue because of a nine generation curse placed on the Dirkenheim family that dates back to 19th century Germany, where his ancestors lived prosperous lives as Rice Krispy makers. Andrew's fourth child, Derek, remains a major focus of his reason for being on the show, as he continuous insults the child – a mere 19 months old – for his awkward gait.
A couple months later during "My Classical Romance Part 2," Andrew says that his Rice Krispy Treat business has been hugely successful since his debut on Double Heads. Although his hated son Derek has only gotten clumsier, everything else is "looking up Dirkenheim."
Andrew then presents the DJs with gold-covered Rice Krispy Treats flavored with syrup, but they are interrupted by a disturbing text message. Andrew informs the DJs that the text further explains that his wife has left him, and that his son Derek has grown to 12 feet tall. When asked why this might have happened, Andrew admits that his family has a curse that falls on any fourth son named Derek. Andrew's brother, Derek, befell a similar fate and is currently the Jersey Devil. Within the last 15 minutes Andrew's business falls apart and he is in shambles. He is also a card-carrying member of the church of Satan.
The next week he calls in as The Fonz, a disguise he uses when trying to think of creative ways to get his wife back. He wrote a song to try and win her back from his business partner, and live on air he performs his new song, "Apples Are the Strangest Fruit (My Love for You Goes on for a Thousand Moons)."
== Appearances ==
Double Hearts Variety Hour Part 3
My Classical Romance Part 2
Double Hearts Variety Hour Part 4