Character Intros: Agent Freakout

“My NaMe Is AgEnT fReAkOuT. i Am A fElLoW cItIzEn LiKe ThOsE oF yOu WhO mAtTeR. i Am SpEaKiNg To YoU tOdAy, In My VoIcE, tO tHeSe FeLlOw CiTiZeNs To TeLl YoU a PrObLeM. aNd It Is A pRoBlEm CaLlEd InSuBoRdInAtIoN.
tHeRe ArE mAnY pLaTiTuDeS oN tHe FrEeDoM oF tHe AmErIcAn AiR wE sPeAk In. ThEy TaLk Of SuBvErSiVeS aS iF tHeY wErE hErOeS. tHeY tAlK oF iSuBoRdInAtIoN tOwArDs OuR gReAtEsT cItIzEnS. tHiS iS wHy We ArE lOsInG
wE aRe LoSiNg ThE wAr Of TeRrOr. We ArE nO lOnGeR fEaReD aNd WoRsHiPpEd, We ArE sImPlY hAtEd AnD iNvAdEd. OuR pOwEr Of OuR wEaPoNs CaNnOt StOp ThEiR pErVeRtEd TeNdRiLs, AnD tHe PuRiTy Of OuR sTaTe Is UnDeRmInEd By ThEiR dEsTrUcTiOn Of OuR pReCiOuS bOdIlY fLuIdS
tHuSlY, pUrItY mUsT bE eNfOrCeD. iT iS nOt EnOuGh ThAt We Be OnE nAtIoN uNdEr GoD, bUt ThE sOlE nAtIoN uNdEr GoD. aNd UnDeR gOd We MuSt AlL bE pUrGeD fRoM sIn, UnDeR tHoUgHt.
BeCaUsE gOd Is AmErIcAn AnD gOd Is WiThOuT mErCy. AnD oUr GoD iS aToMiC aNd OuR gOd WiLl SeNd WoRmWoOd UpOn ThOsE fIlLeD wItH tHe WeAkNeSs He DoEs NoT hAvE wHo ArE pErVeRtInG aNd InJeCtInG iNtO hIm WiTh ThEiR pOiSoNoUs GeLs
AnD i SpEaK tO yOu ToDaY tO tElL wHaT yOu ArE cApAbLe To Do To HeLp ThE nAtIoN iN oUr TiMe Of NeEd. DoNaTe FlUiDs, FoR sAmPlEs ArE a NeEd To KeEp A pRoPeR uNdErStAnDiNg Of AmErIcAn PuRiTy. CaLl OuR hOtLiNe FoR tElLiNg Us ThE tIpS oN tHe WeAkLiNgS aNd ThE sOfT sTaBbInG uS iN tHe BaCk. 
JoIn OuR rEcRuItMeNt StAtIoNs FoR yOu ToO tO bE a GrEaT aMeRiCaN lIkE uS. cOnSuMe OuR pRoDuCtS pRoDuCeD aCrOsS tHe GlObE, bEcAuSe OuR gReAt PrOdUcTiOn WiNgS sPrEaD aCrOsS tHe GlObE, pAiD fOr In BlOoD fOr ThE sAkE oF yOu, FoR sAvInGs, By ThE gReAtEsT.
aNd AbOvE aLl ElSe JoIn WiTh ThOsE wHo WoUlD sEcUrE tHe ExIsTeNcE oF oUr PeOpLe, AnD a FuTuRe FoR aMeRiCaN cHiLdReN. fOr It Is ThEm WhO oUr EnEmIeS pOiSoN aNd We MuSt TaKe ThEiR pOiSoNeD bLoOd AnD fIlL iT wItH aMeRiCaN fReEdOm.
Be FoReVeR vIgIlAnT, aNd GoD bLeSs OuR tRuE aMeRiCaNs.”
-Televisual message recorded by the G.U.F.F. July 4th; 197[REDACTED], over the tri-state area of Arizona, California and Nevada. Subjects witnessing the broadcast reported episodes of disassociation afterwards, with episodes of loss of bodily control synchronized with other subjects.
Viewers were shown to have seemingly benign tumors in the [REDACTED] areas of the brain. Twenty percent underwent further mutations in the form of [REDACTED]. Relation to strains of Tate-Fairchild tested, results inconclusive, demonstrated hostility towards main Tate-Fairchild subjects. Contagion limited through quarantine.
== Author Notes ==
So yeah, it’s a profile of the creepy fascist American MIB-type Agent Freakout! Thank god for alternating caps-converters!
Tho, this time both the text and the concept are CC-BY Vanilla 4.0, credit to Thomas F. Johnson being the only thing required., since I wanna include it as a G.U.F.F. entry, and thus wanna keep it under that license. 
Hope ya dig it either way!
Category:G.U.F.F. Entries
Category:Thomas Johnson Fiction