Truffle Trouble/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Truffle Trouble".
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(In Holly’s pod, Perky and Pigtail are looking at their owners who are about to take pictures of them.)
Poppy: Perky!
Holly: Pigtail! Look at Mamma!
Poppy: Look, look, look! (She and Holly make animal noises. Just then, Dante appears while pushing a table of food. He rests for a moment and goes back to pushing the table.)
Dante: Poppy? Holly Darlin’? Did I just accidentally push this antique dining room set right into Holly’s pod? What a postictal turn of events! (laughs) Well, since we all happen to be here, you might as well. (He uncovers a plate and reveals a huge ice cream sundae.)
Poppy and Holly: Oh! (Perky and Pigtail make noises. Poppy and Holly take a spoonful of the ice cream and gasp.)
Holly: Wooooo-hooooo! Hot dang, Troll-y moly, sugar haystack, sass-a-brass, announce to say random words, ‘cause it’s that good, holy hairspray, Mamma!
Poppy: Yeah! How is this food so yummy in my tummy, sugar haystack, sass-a-brass… Gah! Now I’m doing it!
Dante: (chuckles) The source of your verbal be foodery is the secret ingredient: chocolate truffle.
Poppy and Holly: Ooh. (Pigtail oinks in amazement.)
Dante: (Grating the chocolate truffle) They’re exceedingly rare and hard to find, for they can only be found once a year deep in the woods in underground crags.
Poppy: Ooh! Crags!
Dante: Yes. And tracking them requires an animal with a keen sense of smell. Traditionally, a pig critter. Hm? (Pigtail oinks, saying that she wants to help Dante.) But alas! Where, oh, where might a Troll such as me find a pig critter?! Hm? (Pigtail squeals with eagerness.) Say now, you don’t suppose that Pigtail could- (Holly picks up Pigtail.)
Holly: (gasps) No, no, no! My little baby Pigtail can’t go wanderin’ out in those woods, jumpin’ in the crags on willy nilly. (Pigtail becomes upset.)
Dante: But, Holly, I assure you, it will neither be willy nor nilly.
Holly: Nope! Pigtail simply ain’t ready for danger of that variety.
Dante: Oh…
Holly: Sorry, Dante, but I wish you the best of luck scarin’ up them tasty truffles. They are haystack sass-a-brass humptin’ rodeo, jumpin’ jack, jam dandy hala at your mamma, heel clickin’… (That night, Pigtail is sadly looking out the window.) Aw. Pigtail, sweetie, I know it’s disappointin’ that you can’t go on the truffle hunt, but Mamma knows best. And that ain’t just a sayin’ I crocheted on my pillow. (She takes out a pillow with that says “Mamma knows best”.) I put it on dang near everythin’. (We see that her blanket and big pillow say “Mamma knows best”. Holly gets in bed with Pigtail, claps her hands twice to turn off the light, puts on a sleep mask, and goes to sleep. Pigtail snickers and looks at her hair. She comes up with an idea and decides to mess it up. The next morning, Holly wakes up and looks in the mirror.) WAAH! (The camera zooms out to show that her hair is a big mess.) Sakes alive! We got ourselves a valvar of bedhead! Oh, looks like Mamma’s gonna be at the hair salon all day today, Miss Beast! (She picks up Pigtail.) Be good, Pigtail! (She kisses Pigtail and runs out of her pod. Pigtail laughs sneakily. In the woods, Dante is searching for chocolate truffles.)
Dante: Oh, chocolate truffles! Yoo-hoo! Are you hiding in one of these crags? (Pigtail appears.) Pigtail! Am I to understand that Holly has changed her mind and allowed you to accompany me on a chocolate truffle hunt?! (Pigtail oinks in response.) And am I also to understand that she said I am as dashing as I am brilliant? (Pigtail gets confused.) Eh. Worth a shot. (He puts a leash on Pigtail.) Now, Pigtail, this is your first time hunting truffles. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find any- (Pigtail runs and drags him along.) WHOOOOOAAA! (A few seconds later, Pigtails stops and jumps into a crag.) Pigtail? Pigtail?! (He hears Pigtail’s oink and sees her safe.) There you are! (Pigtail shows a truffle on her nose.) You’ve done it! (He picks up Pigtail and throws her into the air.) Huzzah! Thousand times huzzah!  Well, I can tell we will catch many truffles today! But since this is your very first, you keep this one. (Pigtail is happy that she found her first truffle. That night, she is looking at it in Holly’s pod. She hears Holly’s singing and hides the truffle under a pillow. Holly gets in bed with her. She is now wearing a night cap.)
Holly: (yawns) Oh, I know Mamma was gone a long time today, Pigtail. (She rubs Pigtail’s face.) But don’t you worry. I got no plans tomorrow. (She puts on her sleep mask, turns off the light, and goes to sleep. Pigtail decides to come up with another plan to go on another truffle hunt with Dante. She writes invitations on Holly’s desk and delivers them to many Trolls. She then turns on lights on a stage. She goes to Sky Toronto’s Funtime Factory, digs a hole to get inside, and presses a button. This causes a machine to make trophies. The next morning, Poppy comes to Holly’s pod.)
Poppy: Holly?
Holly: Who goes there?! (She removes her sleep mask and sees Poppy, Branch, and Biggie.)
Poppy: Sorry to wake you, but did you get an invitation? (Holly picks up an invitation in her bed.)
Holly: (gasps) I was nominated for a Trollsie Award?!
Poppy: Everyone was, but there’s just one teensy problem: There’s no such thing as the Trollsie Awards. (Later that night, the Trolls go to the awards.) Oh! I guess there is such thing as the Trollsie Awards! Who knew? (Guy Diamond appears.)
Guy Diamond: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I call MC! (He farts purple glitter. He gets on the stage and talks through the microphone.) And the winner for Troll most likely to say, “Oh, my Guh” is… Smidge!
Smidge: Oh, my Guh! Yeah!
Holly: (As she and Poppy clap) Well, dang y’all! It’ll take hours to hand out all them trophies. (Pigtail gets off her seat and sneaks off to find Dante.)
Dante: Oh, chocolate truffles! Yoo-hoo! Oh. I suppose there’s always next year. (Pigtail appears.) Pigtail! Let the hunt begin! (As he searches for truffles with Pigtail, he sings Chocolate Bliss.)
(Dante)
Chocolate, chocolate,
Chocolate, where art thou?
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la!
Pigtail, let’s fill
Our bellies up
Let’s chow down!
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la!
Oh champion of all swine with the keenest sniff
We shall live our best life
In chocolate bliss
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la! (He is full from eating some truffles.)
Dante: What’s that, girl? You smell even more truffles?! (Pigtail walks off.) Pigtail, watch out! (He hears a crunching sound and Pigtail squeals. Back at the awards, Poppy and Holly are carrying many trophies.)
Holly: Just when I thought I was done winnin’, they announced the Troll whose name rhymes with “Shmolly Shmarlin’” award?! (gasps) Pigtail? (Dante is carrying Pigtail. She has a big bump on her head. Holly gasps again and drops her trophies. Back at her pod, she is bandaging Pigtail on a stool.) This is exactly why I told you not to go into those woods, Pigtail! Do the words on that tea cozy mean nothin’ to you?! (She shows a tea pot that says “Mamma knows best” and Pigtail frowns.)
Dante: My sincerest apologies, Holly. I truly believe that Pigtail had your permission. However, it’s worth noting that she did some remarkable things on our hunt. I dare say she’s capable of more than you might realize.
Holly: No! She’s just a baby, and it is my job to make sure she never, ever, ever gets hurt! (We see that Pigtail’s body is completely covered in bandages and she falls. Holly gasps and puts her back on the stool.) MAMMA KNOWS BEST! (A sad and hurt Dante leaves her pod. It soon starts to rain. Pigtail is sadly looking out the window while Holly puts her trophies on a shelf. Poppy then comes in.)
Poppy: Holly!
Holly: Poppy, what’s wrong?!
Poppy: It’s Dante. He went into the woods to hunt for truffles and he never came back. (Pigtail squeals and Holly gasps.)
Holly: Poor Dante! What do we do?!
Poppy: Well, since he was out looking for truffles, maybe Pigtail could find him. (Pigtail instantly removes her bandages.)
Holly: Pigtail? Back in those woods? Oh, Poppy, there’s gotta be another way. It is too dangerous for- (Pigtail stomps her foot and runs out of Holly’s pod.) Pigtail, no!
Poppy: Pigtail! (Pigtail runs into the woods and Poppy and Holly run after her.)
Holly: Pigtail, come back!
Poppy: Pigtail!
Holly: Pigtail, don’t you run away from your mamma while she’s in the process of knowin’ best! (Pigtail ignores her.)
Both: PIGTAIL! (Pigtail stops at a crag.)
Holly: Pigtail, that is far enough! I am tellin’ you you are not ready for-
Dante: (offscreen) Holly?
Poppy and Holly: (gasp) Dante!
Dante: Yes! (We see that he is stuck in a crag with a rock on him.) I pursued a truffle down this crag, but the walls grew far more precarious than I anticipated! I slipped and became stuck with water rising expeditiously! Frankly, the only way to describe my predicament is… well… part of my French horn, but… (He blows his horn and Holly gasps.)
Poppy: How are we gonna get him out?! (Pigtail tries to jump, but Holly stops her.)
Holly: Pigtail, no! You can’t go down there! (Pigtail squeals.) Pigtail!
Poppy: Holly, please. I know this is hard, but our only option is- (Holly holds out her hand.)
Holly: To let Pigtail go. Pigtail, baby, everythin’ inside Mamma is screamin’ for me not to do this, but… go get ‘em, sugar. (She puts Pigtail down and she jumps into the crag.) Pigtail?! (Pigtail does not answer. Holly begins to cry.) Pigtail?! (There is still no answer and she kneels down. Poppy tries to comfort her. Suddenly, they hear Pigtail’s oinks and she and Dante come out of the crag. They are covered in mud.) Pigtail! But how?!
Dante: (As he and Pigtail get up) Simple. Freed my wig and then found a different part of the crag that was easier for me to climb. Such a remarkable little pig. (Pigtail runs and jumps into Holly’s arms.)
Holly: Oh, Pigtail! (Soon, she, Poppy, Perky, Pigtail, and Dante are at her pod about to eat cupcakes.) I am so dang proud of you for savin’ Dante, I made you this. (She takes out a shirt and Poppy reads it.)
Poppy: “Mamma sometimes doesn’t know best, but she does always have the best of intentions because she loves you so much, don’t forget a lot of the time, Mamma still knows best.” Aw.
Dante: To Pigtail. (He, Poppy, Holly, Perky, and Pigtail toast their cupcakes.)
All: Pigtail!
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