July 2, 2024/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz episode, July 2, 2024.
==TV-MA Warning (before the story)==
Hulu TV-MA - Hulu Preroll|The TV-MA warning.
==Story==
===Opening Segment===
Opening Logo
*2021 Hulu Originals opening logo
Show Announcer: July 2, 2024. Hosting live from their home in Long Beach, California. This is Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz.
JULY 2, 2024
Opening Segment Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, your hosts of Memes of Truth, kicking things off with an opening segment, Zachary and Meredith Bortz.
OPENING
SEGMENT
[Transition to Zachary and Meredith]
Meredith: You're on your streaming service and this is Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz. We're Zachary and Meredith Bortz, your hosts and married for one month as yesterday marked our one-month wedding anniversary. Just like our lesbian friends, Ainsley, Alex, Grace and Madison, we like to hang out with lesbians, either dating, engaged, married or just friends in general. Not to mention, the six of us are also polyamories. You know what, you can't really call two women in a relationship gay. That's for guys only. And speaking of relationships, we should have our lesbian friends hang out with us sometime this season, just not today though as the "Friend Hangouts" segment will be held off until next week, when we invite Lucy to have a threesome with us for her birthday for next week's "Fetish Fest" segment. Today, though, will be just me and Zach and no one else like we had last week. But later on, we will have more guests on our show like when Lucy comes over next week. But now it's time to go over what has happened since the end of last week's episode. Zach?
Zachary: Thanks, Mere. Today on Memes of Truth, we'll start talking about the closings of ZGL Theatres locations and what the Zachary & Meredith Bortz's replacing them will reference, as well as talk about more legacy store-related news about Chuck E. Cheese, a couple location-related news about Dave & Buster's and what we'll need to see in order to talk about a certain topic in the future. And speaking of Dave & Buster's…
===Leg Talk Silhouette Seven===
Leg Talk Silhouette Seven Announcer: Leg Talk Silhouette Seven!
LEG TALK
Silhouette Seven
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Zachary: …Meredith and I would like to introduce you to "Leg Talk Silhouette Seven".
Leg Talk Silhouette Seven Announcer: Leg Talk!
LEG TALK!
Zachary: The segment where we talk Dave & Buster's. And yes, the title references the leg silhouettes that are seen on the restrooms in a couple of locations. Speaking of a couple of locations, let's get into some news about them. Your turn, Mere.
Meredith: I'm on it, Zach. So, not many things have happened with Dave & Buster's recently. First off, it was announced in September 2023 that the only location in Hawaii, Honolulu, would be relocating from its original place in the Ward Entertainment Center to a new place at the Ala Moana Center, replacing a department store known as Shirokiya, which closed in March 2016. Second, the chain's first location in West Virginia will be opening in the Huntington Mall in Barboursville on August 19. And lastly, it was just announced that there will be a new location at the Freehold Raceway Mall in Freehold, New Jersey, making it five locations in the state. And that's pretty much it in terms of D&B news. Like "What Are Beat and Glee Dan Up To?", "Leg Talk Silhouette Seven" is also a non-weekly segment. It's not gonna happen in every episode as Dave & Buster's is not gonna be brought up that often, but the chain's existence in a certain state or country and what the restrooms look like in different locations will be talked about whenever we do this segment, which we're now gonna end and move on to the next. Leg Talk Silhouette Seven!
Leg Talk Silhouette Seven Announcer: Leg Talk!
LEG TALK!
===Cool Chuck 95000===
Cool Chuck 95000 Announcer: Cool Chuck 95000!
COOL CHUCK
95000
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Zachary: Starting from today on "Cool Chuck 95000" to July 8, 2025 on the same segment, we'll be talking about what ZGL Theatres locations closed in order for them to make for the Zachary & Meredith Bortz's replacing them. And to start things off, the locations in Laurel, Maryland, Madison, Wisconsin and Roanoke, Virginia closed on Sunday and the Zachary & Meredith Bortz's locations replacing them will reference 3-Stage locations of Chuck E. Cheese in a certain state.
Meredith: They will open on January 25, 2025 alongside 18 other locations, those being Arvada, Colorado, Augusta, Georgia, Billings, Montana, Boise, Idaho, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Fort Smith, Arkansas, Huntsville, Alabama, Memphis, Tennessee, Mishawaka, Indiana, New Orleans, Louisiana, Orem, Utah, Paducah, Kentucky, Southgate, Michigan, Tallahassee, Florida, Three Springs, Pennsylvania, Thomasville, North Carolina, Tilden, Nebraska and Timmonsville, South Carolina. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "She's gonna say that's a s**t load of locations opening that day." And, you're right. That IS a s**t load of locations opening that day. Not only did the Chuck E. Cheese's in Fullerton, California and Tallahassee, Florida open with a 3-Stage that wasn't from a former ShowBiz Pizza Place, but Concept Unification or locations of the latter chain closing would end up making the Rock-afire Explosion Band burn in Hell. [Zachary snickers. Meredith smiles] What? Creative Engineering Incorporation cut ties with ShowBiz so they had to do something.
Zachary: Well, you know, Meredith, Billy Bob's Wonderland in Barboursville, West Virginia still has the band.
Meredith: Oh, do they?
Zachary: Yep. Even private collectors have them.
Meredith: Well, good for them. Anyway, that is it for ZGL Theatres and Zachary & Meredith Bortz's location news. Now to end the segment and actually talk about Chuck E. Cheese in the next one. Cool Chuck 95000!
Cool Chuck 95000 Announcer: Cool Chuck!
COOL CHUCK!
===Stages, Restroom Signs and More===
Stages, Restroom Signs and More Announcer: Stages, Restroom Signs and More!
STAGES, RESTROOM
SIGNS AND MORE
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Zachary: There is a lot we need to talk about today on "Stages, Restroom Signs and More". Let's start with some exciting news first.
Meredith: It was recently announced that Hicksville, New York's grand re-opening will be held on July 19 from 5 to 7 PM. But that's the only exciting news. Now for the problematic news.
Zachary: So, last week we said that Nanuet, New York was going to be 100% retro. But turns out, it was not meant to be like that according to Mark Kupferman. It was just a bonus location saving their animatronic. Things could be proven wrong if an article that mentioned it being 100% retro was wrong, and they could be, but we don't know. But that's just one problem because oh boy.
Meredith: Two problems arose with this location. One: not many retro artwork and two: a functionless animatronic. Nanuet has a Studio C Beta with a 16-movement animatronic. Studio C stopped programming the animatronic a couple years ago, putting the bot in random movements throughout the day. Nobody likes a functionless bot, so who gives a s**t about Nanuet becoming retro if the bot is gonna stay frozen like a motherf**king mannequin?! They could've saved the Studio C Alpha in Spokane, Washington, which has the most retro artwork, including a rare Pizza Time Theatre octagon. And by the way, Spokane is the last location with confetti posters on their restroom entryways after Mentor, Ohio got 2.0 in May. Speaking of artwork, how the f**king s**t is Nanuet supposed to be 100% retro if it doesn't have that much retro artwork? Like, talk about a location CEC fans everywhere f**king hate.
Zachary: I know, right? The worst part about this is that nobody asked for this goddamn location. The company obviously doesn't know how to listen to its bulls**t fandom! Okay, maybe it does but man, I am just so split with this company.
Meredith: So am I, Zach. Even Factory Beat's split with the company. What was once a perfect company in the 1990s-early 2010's with its early artwork and animatronics, Chuck E. Cheese has or will soon become a hated company by its animatronic fandom for its 2.0 remodel, dance floor and video wall. It doesn't help that the company has been financially struggling recently. The company would have to be either completely inept and destined for failure, a third bankruptcy in its history and eventually, disestablishment like what happened with Bed Bath & Beyond and Christmas Tree Shops last summer or an obvious conspiracy theory, capable of more focusing on families with younger children. Think about that. Think about that while we're at it. We're gonna take a break from talking about retro/legacy stores until we get more updates on them, plus it's already been too much for both of us.
Zachary: Agreed. Let's stop talking about them for a while. But to end this segment on a more positive note, there is one more thing we do need to mention. The Wyomissing, Pennsylvania location's lease expires in December so they're holding off on 2.0 until the lease gets sorted out. They're planning to either close, relocate or get 2.0 right where they are. This location has a phase 5 exterior and wall colors but phase 3 artwork, restroom signs included.
Meredith: Interesting. What stage does that have?
Zachary: An Alpha. Last one in Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh will be removing their Beta soon, if they haven't started 2.0 yet.
Meredith: Well, it's only a matter of time until Pennsylvania goes bot-less and Beat loses interest in going to any more Pennsylvanian locations.
Zachary: He'll let us know what locations he'll be going to so that we can talk about when he comes home from the trip or vacation depending on where he'll be going to. But for now, let's move on to the next segment. Stages, Restroom Signs and More!
Stages, Restroom Signs and More Announcer: Stages!
STAGES!
===Fetish Fest===
Fetish Fest Announcer (singing): Fetish Fest.
FETISH FEST
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Meredith: Today on "Fetish Fest", I will be humping a pillow and making my husband listen to my lovely moans. We're in our bedroom because it's the perfect room to hump pillows and I believe everyone humps a pillow in their bedroom.
Zachary: That's what I would think too. You know, there should be a porn site called "There Are Way More Women Who Are into Pillow Humping Than You Think".
Meredith: Pfft! Whatever. Not that I don't agree with women being more into pillow humping than men but that the site's name is way too long.
Zachary: Not if it's in a font of a strip club sign.
Meredith: True. If it were small enough. Anyway, watch me get undressed. Fully naked this time. I was topless last time. So was Zach. Okay, here we go. [she takes off her socks, pants, shirt, bra and panties] Voila. Fully naked.
Zachary: Holy s**t, baby, you are hot. So. F**king hot as a hot dog.
Meredith: Speaking of hot dogs, we're having those Thursday for our Fourth of July picnic with Ainsley, Alex, Kate and Mallory. Grace, Madison, Lexia and Clampslinger are joining us too. Boy, do I love hot dogs.
Zachary: So do I. They're especially tastier in a bun.
Meredith: Speaking of buns, let me show you guys my ass. (shows it) See it? Sexy, huh? Hey, Zach, rapidly slap my ass.
Zachary: Whatever you say, hottie. (rapidly slaps Meredith's buttocks) BLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
[Meredith snickers]
Meredith: Zach, you are the funniest guy I've ever met.
Zachary: And Meredith, you are one of the sexiest women I've ever met.
[They smooch]
Meredith: All right. Time to get horny. [grabs a pillow and places it in the center of the bed] I'll hump the pillow I rest my head on when I sleep or at least lay down. Here we go.
[Meredith gets on the bed and places her vagina on the pillow, thrusts against it and moans. Zachary watches and has an orgasm, then lays down on the bedroom floor. Meredith stops thrusting against the pillow, lets out a big sigh and opens her eyes]
Meredith: Zach?
Zachary (from on the floor): I'm on the floor, Mere.
Meredith: Did you have an orgasm or something while listening to my soft moans?
Zachary (from on the floor): I did. I wet my underwear.
Meredith: Holy s**t. That's what you get for having the hottest wife in the whole world.
Zachary: You said it. [gets up from the floor] So, tell them what your thoughts on pillow humping are.
Meredith: Well, it feels really good for my pussy just thrusting it against the pillow. It helps that the part of my belly under my belly button gently touches it. I would rather lay my stomach on the pillow and hump it that way. Humping more than one pillow like that is super comfortable for my belly. Can I do that in a future episode?
Zachary: You can do whatever you want, my favorite sexy pillow humper.
Meredith: All righty then. Let me put my clothes back on. [she removes her vagina from the pillow, puts the pillow back, gets off the bed and puts her clothes back on] All right, let's move on to the last segment of the day: the main segment. See you downstairs!
Fetish Fest Announcer (singing): Fetish Fest.
FETISH FEST
===Main Segment===
Main Segment Announcer (singing): Main Segment.
MAIN SEGMENT
[Transition back to Zachary and Meredith]
Zachary: Our main segment today is this question: "What will we need to see in order to talk about a certain topic in the future?" Well, there's a couple of things we need to see in order to talk about. For one, Alec Baldwin goes on trial next Tuesday for his role in the shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins. We'll talk about that as well as the armorer's involvement in the shooting and James and Jennifer Crumbley, the parents of Oxford High School shooter, Ethan Crumbley when Baldwin is acquitted of involuntary manslaughter or sentenced if he's convicted. That topic will be known as 2021-24: The Years of Involuntary Manslaughter. So, stay tuned for that.
Meredith: Another thing to see to talk about in the future is Bear-a-Stiff Glee Dan in a bikini top this month or next month to talk about one of the most legally controversial games ever made: The Guy Game. If we don't see Glee Dan in a bikini top by August 20, we'll have our friend Alexandra be a guest on that day's episode. If she's on that day's episode, she'll be in the "Fetish Fest", "Weasels, Cargo Shorts or Sheep?" and "Friend Hangouts" segments. Trust me, her belly's bigger AND sexier than mine.
Zachary: Even better, she's a blondie.
Meredith: And blondies know how to become models with their wide varieties of bikinis and sometimes jewelry in their belly buttons. My god, that makes bikini-clad women WAY sexier than you think. In fact, did any of you notice the jewelry on MY belly button last segment? Because Zach did.
Zachary: Word.
Meredith: Anyway, that is the end of our show. We hope you all look forward to Lucy visiting us next week. Hope you all loved my pillow humping today as well as today's episode. Thanks for watching!
Zachary: Zachary and Meredith Bortz signing off now. See you all next time with more news on Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz.
Main Segment Announcer (singing): Main Segment.
MAIN SEGMENT
Closing Logos
*2021 MGM Television logo
*2021 Hulu Originals closing logo
Category:Zachary, Grace and Lexia
Category:Memes of Truth with Zachary & Meredith Bortz Episode Transcripts