Annoying Orange: U Can't Squash This/Transcript

Oreo: So, since I've got the chocolate outside and the creamy inside, I'm probably the best cookie ever invented.
Orange: Whoa! Thanks for "filling" me in. (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oreo: (sarcastically) Wow. Never heard that one before.
Orange: Hey! Hey, Oreo!
Oreo: What?
Orange: Squash!
Oreo: What's a squa-- (before Oreo finishes his question, Squash comes and crushes him.)
Orange: Whoa!
Squash: Eee-he-he-eww! Not crumb bum again!
Orange: Hey, hey Squashy! Hey, Squashy, hey!
Squash: What?! What is it?!
Orange: (suddenly dressed up like M.C. Hammer) You can't squash this! (music starts with the tune of U Can't Touch This playing) (Squash falls and tries to squash Orange, but Orange moves out of the way) You can't squash this!
Squash: But I don't even want to squash you! 
(another Squash comes down)
Orange: You can't squash this!
Squash #2: I actually like you!
(another Squash comes down)
Squash #3: What's happening?!
Orange: You can't squash this!
(multiple Squashes fall and try to crush Marshmallow)
Chorus: Oh oh, oh, oh
Orange: My-my-my-my-my friend Squash squashes so hard…
(Squash crushes Crabapple and yells)
Orange: Makes me say... “Oh, my Gourd!” Thank you… for blessing me with a rind so fine these two ripe Beets it feels good!
(Squash squashes 2 beets)
Squash: I'm sorry!
Orange: When you know you're round, and you know that Squash can't pound you down. I'm a fan... of Smosh, but I'm a dope fruit that you know you can't squash!
(Squash crushes a picture of Smosh, while Orange laughs)
Squash: I like Smosh, too!
Orange: You can't squash this!
(multiple Squashes fall and try to crush Little Apple)
Chorus: Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Orange: You can't squash this!
(Squash crushes Star)
Squash: But I don't want to squash anybody!
(Orange rolls to the right while multiple Squashes fall and try to squash him)
Orange: You can't squash this!
(Squash crushes Tomato)
Squash: Why do I keep squashing everything?!
Orange: Every time you see Squash, he's squashing fruits and veggies. He's mean to broccoli…
(Squash crushes Broccoli Leader)
Orange: And he gives bananas wedgies!
(Bananas scream as Squash gives them a wedgie)
Bananas: Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!
Squash: I don't even know how I'm doing this!
Orange: Now Squash is still my buddy even though he squashes limes…
(Squash squashes a lime)
Squash: I can't help it!
Orange: And even though he tries to squash me…
(multiple Squashes fall and try to crush Orange)
Orange: Every time I rhyme. (dances) I'm fast, and I'm funny, and you know that I am fresh! I'm Orange, I'm Orange, I'm Orange, I'm Orange, and you know that I'm the best! You can't squash this!
(Squash crushes Marty Meatball)
Squash: Ugh!
(Pear dances)
Orange: You can't squash this!
(Squash crushes Yam)
Squash: Ahh!
(Orange, Pear, Little Apple and Marshmallow roll to the right while multiple Squashes fall and try to squash them)
Chorus: Oh oh, oh
Orange: You can't squash this!
(Squash crushes Nyan Cat)
Squash: Ahh!
Orange: You can't squash this!
(Squash crushes Wasabi)
Squash: Please, make him stop!
Orange: Stop! (music stops) Motorboat!
(music resumes and Orange, Pear, Little Apple and Marshmallow flutter their lips rhythmically)
(Squash falls and crushes Eggplant (Season 3))
Squash: Ugh!
(Orange, Pear, Midget Apple and Marshmallow continue fluttering their lips rhythmically and move in opposite directions)
(Squash crushes Jumping Bean)
Squash: Ahh!
(multiple Squashes fall down, then Orange is shown while he, Pear, Midget Apple and Marshmallow are still fluttering their lips rhythmically)
Squash: Aaaaaah!!! (gets crushed by more Squashes repeatedly)
Orange: Go, Squash! You're really "crushing" it. You okay, Squash?
(Orange is shown on the kitchen counter)
Orange: You look like you're coming down with something. You must be an artist…
(Squash is shown with his mouth open and is shocked)
Orange: …because you're a real "splatter" painter. (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Liam the Leprechaun: Aw, crap!!
(Squash crushes him)
Squash: Eww!!
Orange: You can't squash this!
(The credits show with Daneboe on the screen wearing a Annoying Orange T-shirt, along with the fruity question of the day, “What do you want Squash to squash?!”)
Daneboe: Hey, what's up, guys? Dane here. Thanks for watching the brand-new Orange video. As always, if you liked it, make sure to SQUASH that "like" button! And let us know in the comments below who you would like to squash. Let's give away a T-shirt! Here's what I want you to do. Go to last week's video. It's called "Bacon Invaders." There's a hidden Fruitball in it; here's what it looks like. (puts his hands out towards the Fruitball next to him) Go find it, come back here, and let us know where it was at. We'll go through the comments and pick a random winner for a T-shirt. That's right. All right, guys, until next time, say no to drugs, say yes to SQUASH!
(video ends)
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