Small Johnson

Shawtie. Small Johnson is a subhuman troglodyte severely affected by the long-term use of the Denny's Fusion Fryers. He can gleek scalding hot oil from his orifices as a self defense mechanism, and is generally constantly caked in grease resulting in one very slippy boy. Attempts to deep fry him have been consistent failures, and it is entirely likely the fusion fryers are not able to feasibly perfect this oily mass. The failed results have also given him increased strength and immense health, meaning he rivals that of a demigod's power.