2012-12-26 Return of the Eensies

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There are eight of them and if they didn't look so sinister. . .No, that's not it. They look ridiculous. It's their faces that looks sinister. Nasty, unshaven. Some are smoking. All are grimacing.
And all happen to be wearing different costumes that you might see on Halloween. The only difference is that the people inside are grown, despite the similar size. They're small you see. The Eensie Eight.
There's Bob the Bear. He's the leader and you can tell by his strut or the Cuban in his jaw. Doug the Dog is his right hand man. Daisy the Duck is the damsel, Larry the Lizard is demolitions, and Paulie the Penguin is the scout. There are others that often serve as redshirts on rotation. Today it's Dale the Deer, Sydney the Squirrel, and Phil the Phish. He looks totally out of place.
Today's job is the security van making its stops at local banks. At 1pm sharp, the vehicle takes a left and heads down towards Hell's Kitchen. A set of "brass tacks," as Bob calls them blow the tires and the van groans to a halt. Immediately two black vans pull up and the Eensies are on the van like ants on a popsicle. Like effin' jawas, man.
Someone else has a cuban clenched in their jaw, and it ain't the bear.
It's an ape. A big, red ape. He's in one of the bars in Hell's Kitchen that has questionable hygeine and no uncertain policy about what can and can't be done in its establishment, and thus the city's no smoking ordinance is looked at like someone ordering a cosmopolitan. There's a glass in front of Hellboy that's booze. It's color suggests scotch or bourbon but it's quality is nowhere near that high. Red doesn't care. It's cheap booze, and that works right now.
The sound of blown tires outside draws Hellboy's attention. The sound of roaring cars coming to a halt doesn't escape his hearing, either. "Aw Crap." he mutters before sighing, flips a couple of bills onto the table to cover tab and tip, then hoists his duffle over his shoulder and goes outside, cuban smouldering out of the corner of his mouth. What's it going to be *THIS* time?
New York. Nothing happens in New York without someone knowing, and invariably, that someone always tells someone else. Moon Knight knew the job was going down, he knew where he needed to be and when, all thanks to one of his many alter egos. So he sits and he waits, and he watches. When the security van turns the corner and hits those tacks, the Lunar Legionnaire readies his adamantium staff, breaking it down into a pair of truncheons. The black vans make their appearance, and once again, he waits, watching for the perfect opportunity. When it presents itself, he measures the distance one last time before hurling himself right off a nearby rooftop, angling his descent with aid from his cape to land squarely on the hood of the rear van. "Shouldn't you guys be in a clown car?" Moon Knight tilts his head slightly, watching the Eensies for half a second before he slams one truncheon onto the hood, firing a grappel line through the thin metal into something that is no doubt important for driving, before he recalls the line.
"Oops."
A girl and her imp. It's almost like a magical version of a girl and her dog. Harvey is poking his head out of Rain's collar, and beaming. "No, Harvey, we are not a two headed abomination unto the eyes of -- should you really be sticking out of my coat like this?" The purple eyed people healer asks her imp, peering down. Sigh. Harvey imp-grunts and sneaks up to hide under Rain's hat. He has to sit on her head, after all. A few odd looks might be cast her way. Rain just smiles weakly, and peers around. Fortunately, no one stares at homeless people in duster coats. For now, she wanders towards the bank. Maybe she should open an account...? No, last time, they blew up the bank. But it's kind of tough without one, so here goes! Wait.
Like a rhino in drag wandering into a candy store, it's a sight that has to be seen. There's a pause as two black vans and - huh. Rain jerks at the sound of a blown tire. SHe nearly ducts instinctively. But then, there's a fellow in white and - she's putting the pieces together. "Oh." Hustle over! "No, Harvey, we're not going to make it rain. For the love of - I'm effectively homeless! We'd be pelting strippers with rolls of quarters! What's wrong with you?" Who is she talking to? Crazy homeless people. "Um." Wow. But then, she's going to get a good angle to see what's going on.
SMASH-SCREEEEEEECH
That's the sound that's made from Moon Knight's well placed truncheon strike. It seems to do some damage because the running van clunks down to a start. The....uh...percolator is broken, or something. I dunno. My character knows cars, I don't
"You got a lot of nerve showin up he-ah, Moon Knight," Bob says jabbing a chubby little forefinger in his direction. "Get him!" The three red shirts brandish submachine guns and launch an eruption of gunfire in Moonie's general direction.
Meanwhile....at the Jason Bilber concert....
Wally West is hopping around in a sea of teenagers, singing his heart out, and cheering for the teeny-bop sensation. In truth, he's more into indie. But there's Dazzler and Jason Bilber. For some reason those two just get him where it counts. So, when his beeper goes off he sighs forlornly. He debates staying. No. No, you can't do that. What would Barry do? "Tally isham in five...yo," he says somberly.
Hellboy makes his way outside about the time he hears "Get him!" and frowns. "Really." he says to no one in particular as he spies the wee little superbaddies. He doesn't say anything at first. He opens the duffle, rummages. In a minute, he comes up with a 10 lb sledge. He looks up and sees Moon Knight. Moon Knight! He's heard of that guy! Man, New York is a big city but damn, everytime somebody's purse gets snatched there's a costume on the guy's heels. How does the crime rate stay so damn high in this city?! Sizing up the situation, weapon appropriate to the task, he clears his throat. Smoke billows out of Hellboy's mouth, tail twitching behind him in an annoyed manner, he calls out "HEY! BAD GUYS!" he waits for any of them to turn around before responding, "WHO'S GONNA GET /ME/?!" hoping to at least confuse them to give the hero a minute to deal with those charging him.
Gunfire. It's always guns with these guys. The costume is more then just a white sheet, but there's no reason to strain the armor hidden underneath, so Moon simply leaps up and forwards, a stark contrast to where most people would go, ie. anywhere but closer to the gun-toting lunatics. As he sails through the air, he artfully whips three razor-sharp crescent darts at the guns pointed his way, seekng to disarm or jam where possible, though he doesn't put all his eggs in one basket.
He targets his fall to come down on top of one of the goons, with his truncheon lashing out to try and take a second in the head. Instantly, he crouches, shrinking their target, as he re-assesses the fight, stopping to count in...
"Is that... A demon?"
Whoa. Dude with a sledge hammer. It's not silver, at least. Rain skids to a halt. Her eyes widen. "Wait. He's famous..." Harvey the imp sneaks out to climb on top of her hat and cheer for Hellboy. hey, it's not too often he gets to see one of his distant fellows be the hero after all. Her eyes are wide, and she watches. She has to be impressed by the fellow in white avoiding being made hole-lier than the Vatican. And besides, to witches, the Moon is pretty rad. Though now that she's nearer the vans, she'll quietly make sure no one's sneaking into the other van. Think Rain, think. Ah yeah, she's got a quick spell for this. The homeless woman looks dazed, almost in a peaceful reverie that might suit a yoga class or a wild dance outside - and if one of the villains isn't careful, his pants are going to burst into flames. If he doesn't move away or counterspell, anyway. Maybe the bears. Bears shouldn't be driving. Most of them don't have licenses.
Hellboy's antics do get the attention of Doug the Dog and Daisy the Duck. They turn, enraged, and in turn brandish their own weaponry at Hellboy. POPPOPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOP.
As Moon Knight soars through the air, his aim is true on all accounts. He spits out weaponry to each side, disabling weapons and crunches down on the face of Dale the Deer. Right between the antlers. Ouch. The dude is out cold while the other two are trying to get their weaponry which has clattered along the floor.
Bob the Bear's suit miraculously bursts into flames at Rain's beckoning, much to everyone's surprise. He tries in vain at first to blow the flames out, then he rolls around. Both, to no avail. Next he's running down the street heading for a fountain at the mid-block.
Just then, a whoooosh announces Kid Flash's presence. "Uffda!" The young hero grits his teet and gets serious, saying something on the lines of, "This looks serious." He takes a look at the situation and sees Larry the Lizard sneaking up on some homeless girl. "Larry! We've been through this. She /doesn't/ want your phone number, broski." OOF! Larry collapses into a pile as he's tackled onto the pavement. Kid Flash 1, Larry the Lizard 0.
Hellboy takes in everything going on all at once. Okay - Moon Knight is kicking ass. Bob the Bear's suit turns to flame, though he's not sure what's going on. Kid Flash arrives on scene to take out the Lizard, leaving him with the Dog and the Duck. "What is THIS, Walt Disney's twisted toyfare?!" he says and ducks the fire. A few of the rounds miss, a few hit, a few go right through his trenchcoat and some do both. He winces as he takes the hits. They're nowhere near lethal but they still sting, he looks down at daylight streaming through his coat and he rolls his eyes, "Aw DAMN!" he says, "This was my /best/ trench - how am I supposed to go on a date with Dazzler with /holes/ in my trench?" he takes a long puff on his stogie, "That's it." he brandishes his sledge threateningly. No runes on this one, nor is it silver. Just a sledge..well, ornate with celtic knotwork, and there's some serious inlay work going on with the handle, but that's about it. What it could /really/ do? Only Big Red knows, and he ain't talkin' just now. Except to finish what he was saying before - "Time to play Whack-A-Mole!" and he wades in, gunfire be damned.
"Definately Demon," MK mutters to himself as the Bear catches fire and Hellboy starts to lay about him with a freakin' sledge hammer. But that's okay, where Hellboy is the damn claymore, Moon is the scalpel. He pivots, lashing out with pure white truncheons for the temples of both the Phish and the Squirrel, before he hops up on the hood of the security van, peering through the windshield to check on the occupants. It wasn't exactly a spectacular crash, but it could cause some whiplash or head injuries.
Confirming that no one he can see is immediately in danger of bleeding out, the Lunar Legionnaire turns and regards the rest of the fight with a tactical eye, mostly watching for any runners, or perhaps, anyone serving as a scout that they may have missed earlier.
Harvey can't not cackle. Someone's pants just burst into flames. And one of his fellow demons is kicking tail and taking names. The imp on Rain's hat cheers. "This is almost as weird as the time - okay, nevermind." Her eyes are wide, watching Moon Knight and Hellboy for a moment. She doesn't really notice Larry the Lizard sneaking up on her until- Larry is tackled by Kid Flash. Rain jerks, looking over her shoulder. "Um. Thank you." She's not rude enough to ignore the fact she could've been lizard licked. Leapin' wizards! "Oh. Sorry. That fellow's pants burst into flames..." And she's considering lining up another spell, going blank and smiling peacefully. "One moment, please..." Off into space to cast she goes! Not really. She just looks zoned. Or stoned.
"O.M.F.G." Kid Flash says as he pulls himself up over Larry the Lizard. "Did that red dude just say something about going on a date with Dazzler? Like /the/ Dazzler?" "Some guys get all the luck," Larry says as he looks back at Kid Flash. Both shrug at each other just before Kid Flash bring a smash across the face of the crook. "Shut up. We aint friends."
Daisy and Doug go wide eyed as Hellboy looks to play Whack-A-Mole. Even before Bob's voice starts to scream, "Retreat! Retreat!" that's exactly what the pair are doing. The rest get the call and try to make a get away.
Paulie the Penguin has not been doing the best scouting job. He's going to hear it from Bob, to be sure. He folds up his newspaper from across the melee and begins trying to sneak away. But he does not get out of Moon Knights sights as he waddles.
Kid Flash stares at Rain. With a tilted head. And a raised eyebrow. "Are you high?"
Hellboy shakes his head when he sees the critters start to run. "Oh no! You put holes in my trench. Now this is personal!" he rumbles, shoving them aside as he heads for the other van that Moon Knight didn't wreck with his truncheons. Raising his Right Hand of Doom, he raises his voice "Red. Means. STOP!" before shoving his stony right hand through the engine block of the only other means of a quick getaway. He turns around, yanking the hand out of the van's hook, "Now - who's first?!" as he raises the sledgehammer in his left hand menacingly.
As the Penguin makes a break for it, MK straightens up on the security van's hood, his head tilting slightly as he watches the man run. After a few seconds head start, Moon raises his hand, takes about a second to aim, and fires a pair of crescent-darts with a high-strength wire strung between them from his gauntlet at the retreating crook. His intention, of course, is to pin the man to a nearby wall, or trip him up in some way, but one way or the other, he knows he's dealt with, so the Lunar Legionnaire turns to observe the rest of the crew attempt to make a break for it. With both vans disabled, however, and a speedster on the scene, he leaves the clean-up to the teen and steps down off his perch to approach Hellboy.
"Nice... fist," MK comments, looking the man up and down, before he slips a crescent-dart from his belt and offers it to the big guy. "Tracking beacon. In case you ever need... A more surgical hand." With that said, he simply walks away and over to Rain, looking down to the 'stoner.' "I've seen you before. Where?"
Rain just kind of stares at Kid Flash. "Um... No..." She offers quietly. Then a pause. "Wow. A date with Dazzler? How happy for her," Rain smiles faintly. She seems familiar with the name. Maybe they seem nice? Either way, she is happy for the demon fellow now. Harvey beams briefly before putting his hands over his eyes as Kid Flash smacks the lizard. Wait. The badguys are all pretty much down. SHe stops her spell, looking alert and bright once more. Harvey sits atop her hat as the two look to MK. She peers up. "Hmm. Yup. I think you were fighting a red guy in tights..." She is leaving her prompts nice and vague. "Right?" She smiles faintly. She seems a bit shy and awkward, though friendly. A glances over to the others. "None of you got hurt?"
The two that Hellboy pursues now, Doug and Daisy raise their hands and their eyebrows. They're beaten. It is useless to resist. "We giveurrender" they say awkwardly in unison. Their guns drop and their hands go in the sky.
Paulie the Penguin is pretty sure he's about to get away when he is nearly harpooned by MK's darts and wire. The next thing the little guy knows he's playing smoochie face with a brick wall and can't move off it. He's stuck.
"Not yet," Kid Flash says to Rain. "Day aint over yet, though." As the band begins to break up, it's clear that Walls is on clean up duty. "Seriously. I should get a French maid outfit with all the clean up work I do up in here."
A few moments all of the Eensies, even Bob with the burnin' butt (now extinguished) are wrapped up in a nice little holidays bow waiting for the cops. "Hey! Redguy!" Kid Flash goes to give Hellboy a real high five now, as opposed to yesterday when a lil goth girl got in the way.
"Thanks, Moon Knight." Hellboy says, appreciatively. "I'm Hellboy, by the way. SHIELD." he motions to the patch on his arm. He accepts the tracker gratefully. "I'll be sure to do that. I'm more brute force, battering ram, type. So yeah, there are times I could use some..finery." he says, trying to find the right word. About then, Kid Flash comes around, and he gives the lad a high five for real this time. "Kid Flash!" he says, "How ya doin'? Sorry about the comment the other day. Sometimes I don't always have the best words for things." he says, glancing around and seeing Rain there. He gives her a wave with his stony hand and motions for her to join them. He's got a sense for the mystic, and this girl has it all about her. He knew the bear didn't go up in smoke unaided.
And Moon's putting it together himself. "The one on the broomstick," MK mutters, eyeing Rain through his mask before he nods just slightly and slips her a crescent dart similar to the one he handed to Hellboy. "In case you're in trouble," a moment's glance is given to the smoldering bear, before he murmurs, "Not that you need it." The Red Man, and the Kid in Red are ignored once more as he stoicly fires a grappling line from his truncheon for a nearby building, zipping off into the distance without another word.
It's true. Rain's a witch and has precious little ability to hide her aura or not make bad newt puns. She smiles faintly. Though, there's a look to Kid Flash. "I see. Um. Well, I'm sure it would flatter you if you chose to wear a French maid outfit." For better or worse, her upbringing has left her incredibly open minded. And the delivery of her statement? As if such a thing were perfectly normal. Robes, maid outfits, dresses, go for it! The woman also has an imp on her hat. Who is totally cheering for Hellboy. She smiles politely at Moon Knight and nods. "Correct." She pauses and carefully accepts the dart. She peers at it. "T-thank you. And you'd be surprised." Smile. "Sometimes it's wise to call in someone more experienced," She notes. She's pretty well mannered, if a bit goofy.
And at the wave over, she meanders over to Hellboy. "Hello there." She peers over. "Pleased to meet you. You said um, Hellboy?" She seems aware that most demons don't give out their names and doesn't push the issue. It's just a fact of life. As Moon Knight zips off, she waves. "Bye! Be well!" Hey, manners.
"Whoa," Kid Flash says as he watches Moon Knight's exit. "That dude seems pretty cool." Attention back to Hellboy and Rain now, "Comment?" Kid Flash shakes his head, honestly not remembering any comment. "What comment?" He nods vigorously at the comment about the maid outfit, "I know, right? I got the legs for it."
Hellboy cocks an eyebrow, "Maybe a feather and a doile. We could call you Magenta." he says, smirking like a wiseass. Of course, he is. He looks to Rain, "Nice to meet you too. Yeh, I'm Hellboy." looks around a bit, "Um. Demon..except not so evil." he explains.
Rain smiles. "He does." She agrees quietly. "And hee, yeah..." She considers. Hey, if he looks good in it, it's good to be positive. She looks amused by Hellboy's joke about Magenta. "I see. That's alright. Much like almost every other sort of folk in the history of ever, there's a large moral spectrum." In other words, she buys it. "Harvey's like a cat. So he's Cat-Evil. Kinda." He baps her hat. "Hey! You ate a whole bag of oreos AND hijacked my DVDs." One eye closes. Naughty imp! She seems more anused than miffed, really. "I go by Rain. Strictly speaking, I'm a witch but I suspect you gathered that from the whole broom thing..." Hmm.
"Magenta? I had a girlfriend named Magenta," Kid Flash's face twists. That chick went crazy. Different story for a diffrent time. Wait. Girlfriend. Dazzler. Dazzler-> Bilber. He could still make it to what's left of the show. "Hey...I'd love to stay and chat, guys, but I gotta get back to the showawowoasomething I gotta be at."
Hellboy blinks at Kid Flash, "Umm..ok. Have fun, and be safe, kid." he waves his normal hand as the Kid speeds off. He turns to Rain and takes a step in, "cat-evil, eh? I like cats, actually..they seem to like me back. I have thirteen of them back on the carrier." he says. He uses his good hand to reach out and gently scritch Harvey in an affectionate manner. "Hey there, little guy.." he says softly.
Rain waves to Kid Flash. "Have fun," She smiles. Rain nods at Hellboy. Her eyes widen. "Awww. I bet that must be fun." All dem kittehs! Epic Cat loaves and cuddle piles. Harvey lets himself get scritched, eyes closing a bit. He thanks Hellboy, if Hellboy can understand demonic. Harvey is a much lower demon. Very catlike. He appreciates it and hey, meeting a famous demon? Awesome. "I call him Harvey. It seemed cruel to demand his real name. So Harvey it is." Beam. They're an odd duo. More like cat and friend than master and demon. "We're glad to meet you." Nod. "We aren't keeping you, are we?"
Hellboy smiles, "Pleasure's mine." he says to Rain, and responds to Harvey in demon. Because the demonic language is like any other language, if you know it you know it. They exchange a bit back and forth, then looks back to Rain. "I should prolly get back. I'm gonna be spittin' out rounds in the next hour or so and that's a pain in the ass. Itches, too." he explains.
Rain smiles at that. She doesn't seem to mind the conversation. It must make Harvey happy. And really, it does. She watches them quietly and nods. Her eyes widening. "Really? I'm sorry. I won't keep you then." She looks up to him. "Be well then, and um, try not to scratch too much." She seems pretty friendly, if a bit awkward. "I guess we should scoot before the cops get us on vagrancy again." Sigh. She smiles and waves.
Hellboy waves and heads off, already it's started with the single *ting* sound of a slug hitting the ground. "Damn!" he grunts in annoyance as he heads away.
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