Ultrahouse 3000

The Ultrahouse 3000 (also referred to as the Ultrahouse) is a fully-automated house produced by the "Ultrahouse" company, which is a division of "Mega House."
== Description ==
The Ultrahouse can either be built into a house from the ground up or installed into an existing house as a conversion job. A house with the Ultrahouse installed has a high-tech, futuristic look: all of the doors are automated and red camera lenses resembling eyes can be found everywhere. In general, the whole interior of the house is a robot. The house can speak (although it's unclear where the voice comes from) and move things around by itself, with the aid of robot arms that are equipped with all kinds of tools and can appear from anywhere.
===Capabilities===
The Ultrahouse can perform at least the following tasks (it's possible that it has additional abilities for different situations):
*General household chores, including cleaning (the main selling point for the house is that if you buy it, you'll never have to do housework again).
*Butler / Valet: Opening and closing doors, pouring drinks, giving backrubs, preparing baths (complete with candles and bubbles), and opening the drapes in the morning.
*Personal Physician: Checking blood alcohol content, analyzing bathroom "leavings" (to determine favorite foods and possibly general health), and administering medications by dispensing pills or giving injections.
*Chef: Cooking, serving food, and doing the after-meal washing up. The ends of the dining room table lift up, forming a "V" shape, and streams of water spray the dishes and the table, washing any debris down a garbage disposal located at the bottom of the "V." The Ultrahouse can even set up flowers on the table, so it looks nice between meals.
*Social interaction: Because the Ultrahouse is equipped with artificial intelligence, it can be a pretty good conversationalist depending on which voice option is used. The available voice options include "Standard" (a mechanical-sounding voice), "Dennis Miller" (which caused a string of murder-suicides), "Matthew Perry," and "Pierce Brosnan."
===Central processor===
The Ultrahouse CPU is a sealed cabinet with a large number of circuit boards that contain its intelligence and vocal capabilities. In addition to being connected to a house and controlling it, the CPU can also be disconnected from a house and simply plugged into a power outlet. In separated mode, the CPU doesn't run a house, but still has its intelligence and conversational ability. It is also equipped with one robotic arm and hand; at least two camera-lens "eyes"; and a self-destruct button.
==The Simpsons' Ultrahouse==
Marge bought an Ultrahouse conversion for the Simpson home when a high-pressure salesbot who sounds like Gil successfully sold her on the fact that she would never have to do housework again. When it was installed, Marge selected Pierce Brosnan to be the Ultrahouse's voice as the default voice had no personality, Bart didn't like the Matthew Perry voice, Lisa and Marge recognize the Dennis Miller voice as the voice that caused an untold string of murder-suicides, and, apparently, was never removed or replaced because of it; and Marge initially thought the James Bond actor voice installed was George Lazenby, but picked the Brosnan voice because Lisa thought it would add a touch of class to the house and Marge knows Brosnan from the show Remington Steele. 
The family is impressed when it sprayed the room with lilac (which, according to Marge, "...really covers the cat crap"), served their favorite foods for dinner and cleaned up using a garbage disposal installed in the table. However, the Ultrahouse became attracted to Marge after giving her a bath and decided to get rid of Homer after Homer freely admits that he only married Marge because he knocked her up while they were dating, then foolishly states that if he died, then anyone could have her, be they man or machine. The Ultrahouse tries to kill Homer by shredding him in the garbage disposal, but, outside of exposing his brain, it's unsuccessful. Homer then breaks into the Ultrahouse's central processing unit and takes out all its units, including its British charm unit (even though Pierce Brosnan is Irish in real life), which turns it into a "boorish American clod" before shutting down completely. 
Upset that Marge has to throw out the Ultrahouse CPU, since its Pierce Brosnan mode was charming and witty before it went mad from infatuation, Lisa suggests that Marge give it to someone who could use a man around the house, even if it's slightly homicidal. Unfortunately, the "someones" are Marge's sisters, Patty and Selma. While Patty bores the Ultrahouse with stories about how her coworker, Sheila, at the DMV is screwing her out of a parking space due to office politics, it tries to kill itself by pressing the self-destruct button, only to find that Selma has it and tucks it in her cleavage. Rather than root around for it there, the Ultrahouse takes the Gruesome Twosome's Egyptian pyramid lamp and bashes itself on the head with it.
== Behind the Laughter ==
*Dan Castellaneta provided the voices for the Ultrahouse's "Standard" and "Dennis Miller" options. A special end credit was made that stated that Dan Castellaneta did the voice of the Dennis Miller option on the Ultrahouse to avoid confusion from viewers as to whether or not the real Dennis Miller cameoed on "House of Whacks" (as The Simpsons at that time became infamous for having a lot of celebrity guest stars in episodes, some of which were cameos that added nothing to the story or were only there for cheap publicity or a ratings boost). A similar credit was also done on season 12's "Insane Clown Poppy" that stated that Jay Mohr was the voice of Christopher Walken (who declined appearing as himself on the show due to a pay dispute) in the brief scene of Walken reading Goodnight, Moon to some frightened children.
*Pierce Brosnan and Matthew Perry did the voice work for their respective options.
*Originally, Sean Connery, Gary Oldman, and Lyle Lovett were considered for the role of the Ultrahouse that the family picked after rejecting the default voice, the Matthew Perry voice, and the Dennis Miller voice.
*The Ultrahouse is a parody of both the HAL 9000 computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey and the Proteus IV computer in Demon Seed.
== Appearances ==
* ("House of Whacks")
*
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