Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig Have a Sit Down Together

Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig Have a Sit Down Together is the tenth episode of The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show, and the final episode of the series' first season. It was written by thatjess and released on February 28, 2022.
==Transcript==
[Exterior shot of SpongeBob’s pineapple. Cut to the basement where SpongeBob is stacking a pile of freshly cleaned clothes. Daddy Pig walks down.]
Narrator: It is a new day. SpongeBob is doing some laundry this morning.
Daddy Pig: SpongeBob, what are you doing?
Narrator: Daddy Pig asks SpongeBob what he is doing.
SpongeBob: (laughs) I’m just doing some laundry, you knucklehead!
Daddy Pig: L-laundry? What are you, crazy?!
SpongeBob: Um… do you not do laundry, Daddy Pig?
Daddy Pig: Me? Do laundry?! That’s ridiculous! Only women do laundry, SpongeBob, not masculine men like us! (flexes muscles) Everyone knows that!
Narrator: Oh dear. Daddy Pig is a little bit sexist.
[Pan down to reveal that SpongeBob's wearing a maid dress.]
Daddy Pig: Well, you're not that masculine, but you get the point. What we need is a woman for this!
SpongeBob: B-bu-but, there aren’t any women in this house. The laundry isn’t magically gonna do itself!
Daddy Pig: Hmmmph… maybe we should hire a maid then.
SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Daddy Pig!
[Pause.]
SpongeBob: Oh you’re serious, aren’t you?
Narrator: SpongeBob cannot easily understand what people mean, because he has autism.
SpongeBob: I’m not made of money, you know. Mr. Krabs hardly pays me at all!
Daddy Pig: I’m more serious than the duck from Wonder Pets… (sighs) George used to love that show. Maybe you should get a better job.
SpongeBob: Nah I’m good. Speaking of George though, weren't you going to go see your wife today?
Daddy Pig: What? My wife? Oh, you mean Mummy Pig.
Narrator: Daddy Pig has not seen Mummy Pig since she kicked him out of the house back in December.
Daddy Pig: Alright, can you please stop calling me out?!
Narrator: Daddy Pig is angry at me for simply stating FACTS, and LOGIC!
Daddy Pig: Ugh, that guy really grinds my gears.
SpongeBob: He’s just doing his job.
Daddy Pig: Yeah, but, why does he have to be so annoying about it? (sighs) But, yeah, I’m gonna see Mummy Pig later and, well… I think I’m gonna have to break up with her. Maybe we can get a divorce or something, I don’t know.
SpongeBob: Aw jeez man, I’m so sorry for you.
Daddy Pig: It’s okay, I’m better off without her bitch-ass anyway. Mummy Sheep is better in bed.
Narrator: Daddy Pig sleeps with lots of women.
Daddy Pig: OH MY FUCKING GOD! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[Exterior shot of Peppa Pig’s house.]
Narrator: This is Peppa Pig’s house, where award winning singer-songwriter Peppa Pig lives.
[Pan through the window and into the living room, where Peppa and George are watching TV. Mummy Pig is on the sofa reading a magazine.]
Narrator: Peppa and George are watching The Mr. Potato Show.
Mr. Potato: (on TV) 🎶Fruit and vegetables keep us alive, always remember to eat your five! Wiggle your hips and do a jive, always remember to eat your five!🎶
Mummy Pig: Ugh, I hate this show. It’s way too preachy.
Peppa Pig: But isn’t it good to eat your fruit and vegetables, Mummy Pig?
Mummy Pig: Well, um… yeah.
[The doorbell goes off.]
Narrator: Someone is at the front door.
Peppa Pig: (gasps) My new dress for Teddy is here! (laughs)
Mummy Pig: Don’t get too excited, Peppa. It’s probably one of those cold callers.
[Mummy Pig approaches the door and angrily opens it.]
Mummy Pig: For the last time, we don’t give a fuck about your fancy double glazed windo- oh hi Daddy Pig.
Narrator: Daddy Pig is on the other end of the door.
Daddy Pig: …oh, heh… hi Mummy Pig.
Mummy Pig: I wasn’t expecting to see you here… like, ever!
[Peppa and George run towards the door.]
Peppa: Daddy! You came back! Oh I just knew you would! I just knew you wouldn’t leave us forever!
George: Dadd-a Pig!
Narrator: Peppa and George are very excited to see Daddy Pig.
George: (holding up his dinosaur toy) Dine-saw! Grrrrrr!
Narrator: Mr. Dinosaur is also very excited to see Daddy Pig.
Daddy Pig: Er… I think we need to talk, Mummy Pig.
Mummy Pig: Um… yes. We definitely need to have a talk.
Narrator: This is very awkward for Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig.
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: Well I… er… do you think we could take a walk somewhere? Just the two of us?
Mummy Pig: Well… okay. But I mean we can’t just leave the children here by themselves.
Daddy Pig: (sighs) You’re right…
[Cut to Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig walking alone through a Kelp Forest… with Peppa and George following them.]
Mummy Pig: So… you’ve been sleeping with any other women recently?
Daddy Pig: (embarrassed) Well I uh- not really.
Narrator: Daddy Pig is a liar.
[Pause.]
Peppa Pig: Mummy, why did Daddy cheat on you?
Mummy Pig: Ugh, not now Peppa. Daddy Pig and I are trying to have a talk.
[The four come across a bench in the middle of the forest and sit down.]
Daddy Pig: Look, Mummy Pig… I know I haven’t been the most honest with you and… well… I haven’t really been the most moral with you and-
Mummy Pig: You want to break up with me, don’t you?
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: (sighs) Well, I guess that’s what I’m trying to get at.
Mummy Pig: …yeah, I think you might be right. Maybe we should split. I know before we said we’d just wait until George gets into college and then we’d take it from there but… maybe this is for the best.
Daddy Pig: …yeah.
[Exterior shot of SpongeBob’s pineapple at night. Daddy Pig enters.]
SpongeBob: …so…? How did it go?
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: Oh my God, it was the best divorce discussion I’ve ever been to! 
[Cut to Daddy Pig, Mummy Sheep, SpongeBob and Gary all sitting on SpongeBob’s couch watching some TV.]
Daddy Pig: Ah… this really does feel like a new chapter in all of our lives. My relationship with Mummy Pig is all in the past, my relationship with Mummy Sheep is all in the future, and my kids don’t even hate me!
Gary the Snail: This is a fucking SpongeBob and Peppa Pig fanfiction.
SpongeBob: Aw, I’m so proud of you Daddy Pig!
Mummy Sheep: Me too!
Gary the Snail: This is a fucking SpongeBob and Peppa Pig fanfiction.
Daddy Pig: You know, for once it feels like this perhaps slightly overweight pig is finally doing something right in his life!
[Pause.]
Mummy Sheep: You’re more than slightly overweight, Daddy Pig.
Daddy Pig: I am NOT overweight!
SpongeBob: Well, you are a bit overweight.
Daddy Pig: Nonsense! This tummy is pure muscle! I am as thin as a pipe cleaner!
[Pause.]
Gary the Snail: This is a fucking SpongeBob and Peppa Pig fanfiction.
[Everyone falls to the floor in obnoxious fits of laughter.]
Narrator: Daddy Pig loves SpongeBob and Peppa Pig fanfiction. Everyone loves SpongeBob and Peppa Pig fanfiction!
[Credits.]
Category:PI
Category:PI Network
Category:Coral Blue Productions
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show
Category:Thatjess
Category:Episodes written by Thatjess
Category:Season finales
Category:Finales
Category:Daddy Pig Cinematic Universe
Category:2020s
Category:Blue Lobster Productions