Call Me

----
Yet another Thorki songfic. Possibly minor spoilers here and there. Italics are lyrics, Red is Thor, Green is Loki, Gold is both. Song is Call Me by Shinedown
----
Wrap me in a bolt of lightning
Send me on my way still smiling
Maybe that's the way I should go 
Straight into the mouth of the unknown
I could have been king, I could have destroyed Jotunheim, I could have made father proud. Thor was always, will always be his favourite son, the worthy one. I'm not even of Asgard! What am I but nothing? The unknown holds secrets, and mystery and darkness. A fitting place for a master of mischeif. A fitting place for a Frost Giant. A fitting place for a shadow. 
Left the spare key on the table
Never really thought I'd be able
To say I'll merely visit on the weekend
I lost my whole life and a dear friend
But he was the only one who loved me, he was the only one who truly thought me a friend. I can never return to Asgard, not as I am and I cannot be as I was. Did they really mourn? I don't suppose they did for long. But perhaps Thor did. Perhaps he was the only one who truly was sorry that I was gone. Or perhaps not. Perhaps they all forgot me, left me with nothing after all. 
I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, never mind
God knows I've tried
I have tried and tried again to prove myself worthy of anything, even to get some recognition for doing something good. But I was always a shadow, in a shadow; Thor's shadow. Never good enough. Never worthy enough. Never a match for the God of Thunder. 
Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same
Call me your favourite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt
It's all that I can say
So I'll be on my way
Loki is my brother, and always will be. I blame myself for how me feel, I blame myself for his suffering. I will always love him as I always have and I will never forgive myself for him falling into the abyss. I think he does not understand that I will always forgive him, that I will always love him. But he will call me what he wants, and I will always be powerless to stop him. 
I finally put it all together
But nothing really lasts forever
I had to make a choice that was not mine
I had to say goodbye for the last time
At least I thought it was the last time. I did not know that the abyss would lead me to what I have become. All I remember is falling, falling, falling, and the only words that echoed in my head were Odin's and Thor's, a battle of bitterness and despair. I did not think I would see the other side of the abyss, nor did I think that anyone would still care if I did. But Thor did.
I kept my whole life in suitcase
Never really stayed in one place
Maybe that's the way it should be
You know I've led my life like a gypsy
I have been overshadowed my whole life, and I don’t suppose I ever will not be. Perhaps I should leave and never return, at least not where anyone can find me. My whole life has been a shadow and I do not intend that it shall become any different now. I shall be a king or I shall be nothing. And I doubt Thor will ever let me try to be a king again.
I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, never mind
God knows I've tried
I will never change again for anyone, anything. I can only tust myself, and it is myself that I will take orders from. I shall be free of everyone. And yet there is still a part of me that would burn if I were to leave everyone behind. Or rather, not everyone, merely one. Why is it that I feel as if I could not leave him behind? Not again. 
Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same
Call me your favourite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt
It's all that I can say
So I'll be on my way
He believes that no-one cares about him, that he is always the one who gets overlooked. I wish now I could show him how much I truly do care for him, how much I will always love him. No matter what he does he will always be my brother and I will never give up on him. Even when he pushes me away and lets me down, even when I am disappointed with him or angry with what he is doing I will always care. Always. 
I'll always keep you inside
You healed my heart and my life
And you know I tried
Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same
Call me your favourite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt
I would give myself up before I let you hurt, Loki, my brother, my friend. I will love you always and I will never leave you or give up hope for you, even in your darkest moments. 
It's all that I can say, so I'll be on my way
I have been let down too many times. I have tried to show everyone I an be worthy of something, but never to success.
So I'll be on my way
If I leave now no-one will miss me.
So I'll be on my way
But perhaps I shal miss you, Thor.
Category:Leopardclaw's Stuff