Big Nate: Destined for Greatness! (Grapey Works' AU)/Nate's F Game (Transcript)

* (Nate is at school, walking through the hallway with his friends, Francis and Teddy)
*Nate: (frustrated) I'm sick and tired of Gina saturating my glory!
* Teddy: Calm down, big guy! You don't have to be so feral.
* Nate: (calms down) I... *grunts* what I mean is that Gina really needs to look at herself in the mirror and say, *impression of Gina* "Hey, I'm Gina, I'm the most stupidest girl in the history of the multiverse and Nate is SO much better than me!"
* Francis: I see what you mean, but I'm pretty much sure that she would never say that.
* Teddy: Never.
* Francis: Never.
*(Artur Pashkov walks over to them)
*Artur: What are you being sayings about "never"?
* Nate: Uh... it's nothing, Artur..
* Artur: Coming on, friends. We have must to be in the class.
* Nate: Mm-mm. Let's go so we can get it over with quickly.
*(In social studies class)
*Mrs. Godfrey: (angry) Right, class. Get your assignments out.
*(The class take their assignments out of their bags)
*Mrs. Godfrey: Let's see. Dee-Dee, may you hand me your homework?
* Dee-Dee: Um...
* Mrs. Godfrey: NOW.
* Dee-Dee: Oh.. um, yes, Mrs. Godfrey!
*(Dee-Dee hands her assignment to Mrs. Godfrey, Mrs. Godfrey scans it quickly)
*Mrs. Godfrey: It's - It's fine. Um.. C+. Handwriting is fine. Could've done without the pictures.
* Dee-Dee: We're not allowed pictures?
* Mrs. Godfrey: (furious) YES. I SAID IT MULTIPLE TIMES AND I WON'T SAY IT AGAIN.
* Dee-Dee: (scared) OH!! I'm SOOOO sorry Mrs. Godfrey. I will never, ever, EVER do it again! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MY TERRIBLE, UNFORGIVABLE ACTION!! PLEEEEAAASSSEEEEE!!!
* Nate: (frustrated) Well, at least she's not yelling at me..
* Mrs. Godfrey: Well, Nate, if you're gonna make a fool of me like Dee-Dee over here, then why don't you come up.
* Nate: (gulps) (nervous) Um.... okay.. uh... I... mm-mm-mm.....
* (Nate walks over to Mrs. Godfrey and hands her the assignment, Mrs. Godfrey scans it quickly)
*Mrs. Godfrey: What... in the NAME OF LAW IS THIS??
* Nate: (terrified) What's so bad about it?
* Mrs. Godfrey: TERRIBLE HANDWRITING. COVERED IN STAINS. AND RIDDLED WITH CARTOONS.
* Nate: (cold stiff) So... what's my grade?
* Mrs. Godfrey: Z-.
* Artur: Um, excusing me, Mrs. Godfrey, but there is not beings a Z-.
* Mrs. Godfrey: F-.
* Nate: (terrified) F-?
* Mrs. Godfrey: MM-MM. SO IF YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SHOW ME THE WORST ASSIGNMENT I'VE EVER SEEN, YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE THE GUTS TO HANDLE A TWO-WEEK SUSPENSION.
* Nate: Oh no...
*(The entire class start muttering things like "Two weeks?" or "He deserved it.")
*Mrs. Godfrey: NOW GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT OR I'LL EXTEND THE SUSPENSION TO THREE WEEKS!
* Artur: I do say, Nate, you are fails a lot.
* Nate: Thanks for that, Artur. You really helped.
* Teddy: Totally.
* Francis: A lot.
* Mrs. Godfrey: (frustrated) Be quiet, class. This isn't time for knick-knack.
* Dee-Dee: OH, I AM SO SORR-
* (Nate covers Dee-Dee's mouth)
* Mrs. Godfrey: (pleased) Now, Gina, come along.
* (Gina walks over to Mrs. Godfrey and hands her the assignment; Mrs. Godfrey scans it quickly)
* Mrs. Godfrey: Excellent, Gina! A+!
* Gina: Well, uh, thanks, Mrs. Godfrey, you do know that I'm just doing my job, unlike Nate over here!
* Mrs. Godfrey: Oh, Gina, you set such a good example for the rest of the class!
* Nate: (groans) (furious)
* (A day later, at Nate's home)
* Nate: (narrating) Have you ever been suspended? Yeah, it sucks.
* (Nate is in the kitchen, eating his food)
* Nate: Can I have dessert?
* Dad: No desert for you.
* Nate: Please?
* Dad: No. Go do your homework.
* Nate: Uh, okay. But first, I'ma go to the toilet.
* Dad: Be quick.
* (Nate runs to his room and opens his closet)
* (He takes out paper and a pen)
* Nate: And this... is how I beat Gina! He-he, I should've thought of this much earlier.
* (He draws himself swapping his F- paper with Gina's A+ paper)
* Nate: And I only have to wait... 13... more... days...
* (He slouches on his bed)
* (Nate's Dad comes in)
* Dad: Are you gonna do your homework or not?
* Nate: Uh... um... yes, dad.
* (Nate is struggling with his homework)
* Nate: (whispers) No, Mr. Staples, I don't know the pilagirithmithmithm of eighty-billion and one.
* Dad: Come on, Nate! Do it!
* Nate: I.. I can't!
*Dad: Nate, I don't wanna warn you...
*Nate: You already have.
*Dad: Don't be rude.
*Nate: (confused) How was I being rude? How was I possibly being rude?
*Dad: I-
*Nate: (tired) Dad...
*(That night, Nate's Dad comes into Nate's room)
*Dad: Night, Nate. Got your homework done?
*Nate: Uh-huh!
*Dad: That's good, that's good. More's coming tomorrow. 8:00 am strictly. Capiche?
*(He leaves, as Nate falls off the bed in shock)
*Nate: More?! I thought that was all! I can't possibly stall at this point, by Friday I'll have enough work to make a Cheez Doodle scared straight! Enough to rip Benjamin Franklin's kite and dignity! Enough to- (stops, and gasps, when he smiles and realizes...) Oh yeah, it won't even matter since I'm still gonna prove that I'm a real winner when my plan goes into sweet fruition!
*(Cuts to comic Nate on a plain comic, while the real Nate narrates his plan)
*Nate: First, I- (pauses, then clears his throat, as comic Nate sighs and pulls out a massive paper mache school prop and sweats, wiping his brow) Perfect. Okay, stage set, here we go! First, at the school, (comic Nate whistles to avoid confrontation) I'll say I'm going to the bathroom. Classic plan. I'll then hide in a locker while I wait for recess. What locker? Preferably Jenny's. Or even Artur's. When recess starts, I'll sneak into the classroom while the teachers are on duty. I'll swap Gina's- SYCHE!! (comic Nate stops to a halt) I'll take my homework assignments to school with me, so I can copy down Gina's answers. What will I do with Gina's papers? Throw them out, of course! They day when she needs to bring it in, she'll probably look all over the school. When she returns to her seat, I'll pour a bucket of fresh spitballs through the crack in the roof on her head. I'll then sneak to the garbage can and put it in the bathroom. When she goes in there to try to get dry, she'll notice that her drawings are in there. She'll be ticked off, but too upset to tell on me, so she'll just cry. The other kids in the bathroom will find this annoying, so they'll start throwing toilet paper at her. After a while, a chaotic accident ensues, destroying the bathroom, and school would be shut down. In the middle of her voyage home, she'll come across a piece of paper I'd leave on the floor, saying I planned everything. She'll tell her mom, then her mom, will tell the school, and the teachers would ban fun! Sounds pretty hard, right? Don't worry! Us kids will start a rebellion against the school so powerful that they'll give up and let fun thrive through P.S. 38 once again so much that even Gina'd have fun. Win win.
*
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* More coming soon!
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