Transcripts 1998-11

Transcripts from November 1998 strips.
==November 2==
Panel 1Richard and Norman are standing with a house silhouetted in the background. Richard is looking up, concerned, while Norman leers at him in annoyance, a single-button remote control in his hand.Richard: Are you sure this is safe?Norman: Will you stop whining!Panel 2Richard and Norman are next to a pile of explosives and petrol canisters (and one tire). Norman is holding up the remote control like a pointer while Richard stares at the top of the pile.Norman: I anticipate your concern, so the bonfire is set off by remote control. I even built it in next door's garden.Richard: Set off!?Panel 3Same as panel 2 but closer up so the pile of explosives is no longer in view. Richard's expression is now one of skepticism.Richard: By the way; how did you con the Smith's into letting you build this thing in their garden?Norman: Didn't have to. They're on holiday.Panel 4Richard is now angry at Norman and raising a finger at him. Norman is glaring back at Richard with his fist raised.Richard: What I was saying was; be careful. Remember last year with the homemade fireworks!Norman: Was it my fault that passenger jet got in the wayPanel 5Close-up of Norman's hand holding the remote control, which has an arrow pointing to the button and instructions reading "GO BANG" below the arrow. Norman presses the button with a "CLICK!"Off-panel (Norman): I'm sick of talking LETS GO!Off-panel (Richard): Wait! Let me take cover first!Panel 6A mushroom cloud goes off, with Norman and Richard silhouetted in the foreground.Panel 7Richard and Norman are staring into the blast, the force contorting their faces and pulling their eyelids and lips away from their eyes and mouths. Massive tears fall away from their eyes, and their bodies struggle to stay up against the force of the blast.Richard (thinking): That's it! I'm spending next years Guy-Fawkes somewhere safer... like Iraq!Panel 8Richard and Norman are covered in grey ash. Richard has googly eyes and an aghast expression, while Norman looks evilly on his handiwork.Richard: GOOD GOD NORMAN! You vaporised the Smith's house!Norman: I never liked them much anyway.
==November 9==
Panel 1Heading: S.S.D.D presentsTHINGS YOU ONLY DO WHEN YOU'RE DRUNKRichard is in the lower half of the panel, clearly drunk and looking sideways at the camera with a smirk on his face.Richard: You're my mate you are!Panel 2Richard is sneering at the camera and giving a thumbs-up.Caption: DO ANNOYING THINGS WITH YOUR THUMBSRichard: Al'ight mate?Panel 3Richard is glaring at a partially eaten kebab that is dripping its contents.Caption: EAT A KEBABRichard: What are those grey rubbery things?Panel 4Richard glaring at the floor, particles of unmentionable substance dripping from his mouth.Caption: EXAMINE YOUR OWN VOMIT IN DETAILRichard: When did I eat all those peanuts?
==November 12==
Panel 1Richard and Norman are inside a lift. Richard is sitting on the floor and staring at the ceiling. Norman is facing the doors and fiddling with the wires.Richard: We've been stuck in this lift for two hours now.Norman: Don't worry Rich'. I'll have us out in no time.Panel 2Close-up of Norman about to touch a wire to the dislocated control panel.Off-panel (Richard): You sure you know what you're doing?Panel 3There is a "DINK" and the lights have gone out, leaving only Norman's eyes visible.Norman: Nope!Panel 4Still in the dark, Richard looks in Norman's direction. Norman turns in Richard's direction with an evil look.Richard: Great! What else can happen!Norman: Hay Richard! Pull my finger!
==November 16==
Panel 1Richard is staring at a computer, slumped back in his chair as if totally lacking energy.Richard: I think online comic strips are great, but I think using computers have made some artists lazy.Panel 2Exactly the same as panel 1.Richard: Cutting and pasting the same frame over and over and just changing the text makes me sick.Panel 3Exactly the same as panel 1.Richard: I mean, who do they think won't notice?
==November 23==
Panel 1Richard is topless and staring at his shirt, which he is grasping in his right hand.Richard: Right Norman, I've got a promising date tonight and I'm thinking of softening her up with old-fashioned stuff. She's into that.Off-panel (Norman): Er?Panel 2Richard has a confused expression as he looks over his shoulder. Norman is leaning back on the couch.Richard: You know, flowers, chocolates... What kind of chocolates do girls like?Norman: Mars bars?Panel 3Richard turns around to face Norman, who grumbles at him angrily.Richard: I was thinking more along the lines of a box of "All Gold".Norman: Don't be daft! The box is too big and it's got sharp corners!
==November 30==
Panel 1Richard is smiling excitedly at Al, who glares back at him in disgust.Richard: Well, how about it Alan mate? Huh? Huh?Al: Forget it Richard. There is no way I'm going to do it!Panel 2Extreme close-up of Al's angry face.Al: I'm not going to draw "The Attack of the Fit, Nymphomaniac Vixens" and there is nothing you can do to change my mind about it!Panel 3Richard is still smiling but raises a finger in negotiation. Al's expression has changed to a wide-eyed grin, while Norman appears behind Al, also smiling but slightly evilly.Richard: I'll buy you a pint.Al: Oh al'right then. I'll start it tonight!Norman: There's a Flyer in it for you if you shack me up with the Cadbury's Caramel Bunny!
Category:Navigation