Yogi Bear/Transcript

TBA
== Transcript ==
[We open on Jellystone Park, where we see vistas of nature before seeing a family have a picnic.]
Narrator: Jellystone Park. One of the nation's oldest and most beautiful stretches of wilderness. For years, families have headed out from the busy city, eager to enjoy a little camping, fishing, and, of course, observing the park's natural wildlife.
[Up above on a ledge, two bushes move up. One of them has a telescope peeking out to look at the picnicking family. Then, Yogi and Boo Boo’s heads pop out of the bushes.]
Yogi Bear: Boo Boo, I think it's time I introduced myself to that pic-a-nic basket.
Boo Boo: You know, Yogi, we could just hunt for food. All the other animals do.
Yogi Bear: Boo Boo, a pic-a-nic basket has everything a bear needs. And I'm not just talking about the treats and snack-type goodies. No. A pic-a-nic basket holds a lot more than that. It holds dreams.
Boo Boo: What are we looking at?
Yogi Bear: I don't know. Hook me in.
Boo Boo: You sure it'll work, Yogi?
Yogi Bear: Well, you know, Boo Boo, I'm smarter than the average bear!
[?]
Boo Boo: All right!
[?]
Ranger Jones: (offscreen) Ranger Smith! 
[?]
Ranger Jones: Sorry about that. We got a 4-23 in Redwood Valley, sir.
Ranger Smith: A what?
Ranger Jones: A bear disturbance. I think it's probably...
Ranger Smith: I know who it is. Why didn't you just say "bear disturbance"?
Ranger Jones: Well, I... Uh, well, it sounds cooler. I mean, we're park rangers, sir. You know: "To protect and preserve."
Ranger Smith: Did you just make that motto up?
Ranger Jones: Yeah, I did. Do you like it?
Ranger Smith: Ranger Jones, you know that, well, being a park ranger, it's not about mottos. It's about keeping the park safe. That's where the glory is. Protecting all of this.
Ranger Jones: Yeah, I know. Besides, that motto was still in the testing phase. It's not like I made T-shirts or anything.
Ranger Smith: Heh, no, of course not. Okay, I'm gonna deal with that 4-23.
Ranger Jones: Okay, copy that, sir. Um, I'm actually gonna hop in the Armadillo, make some rounds.
Ranger Smith: Jones, you know that the Armadillo is for head ranger use only. I might need it at any moment to deal with a park emergency. Why don't you finish stacking those trail maps?
Ranger Jones: Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah, because that's what future head rangers do, they stack maps.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! Our days of getting banged up to grab a meal are over, Boo Boo. From now on, the pic-a-nic baskets are going to fall into our arms. Soldering iron.
Boo Boo: Here you go.
Yogi Bear: Thank you. Okay. That should do it. Test rock.
Boo Boo: Okay, Yogi.
Yogi Bear: Weight sensor triggered. Basket in position. Launch spring starts coiling. firing pin drops. And... 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Bull's-eye! I'm so smart it hurts!
Boo Boo: You're standing on the soldering iron.
[Yogi notices he's standing on the soldering iron.]
Yogi Bear: Or it's that. Hot, hot, hot! 
[?]
Yogi Bear: There's the test rock. Now we just wait here for a pic-a-nic basket to fall into our arms.
Boo Boo: Are you sure about this, Yogi? People seem to get pretty mad when you...
Yogi Bear: A genius never questions his instincts, Boo Boo. When you have a mind like mine, you can't blink or you'll put a kink in your think. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. We've got our first customers. And they have pie! I wonder what kind it is.
Ranger Smith: (offscreen) Yogi, are you out here?
[?]
Boo Boo: It's Mr. Ranger.
Yogi Bear: Aah! Get rid of the test rock. Destroy the evidence. I was never here.
[?]
Ranger Smith: (offscreen) Look... (gets hit by the rock) Ow!
[?]
Yogi Bear: Hello, Mr. Ranger, sir.
Ranger Smith: Did you just...? Did you guys...? Did you...? Oh, never mind. Look, there was a complaint about a bear interfering with a family picnic.
Yogi Bear: I see. And you'd like us to mount some sort of investigation?
Ranger Smith: No, I think it was you.
Yogi Bear: What?! How can you even think that? Are you feverish? Let me press my lips against your forehead.
Ranger Smith: Wait! You're not pressing your lips against my forehead.
Yogi Bear: Hey, it's a lot better than the way they take my temperature.
Ranger Smith: No, look, Yogi, we've been over this many times. Bears are supposed to avoid people, not run around stealing their food.
Yogi Bear: I agree, sir. That's why my friend Boo Boo and I would never think of disturbing a family's pic-a-nic.
[The plank launches the cooler off the table, but it flies past the bears.]
Yogi Bear: Huh. It missed.
[A pie splats on Yogi's face.]
Yogi Bear: Good day, Mr. Ranger, sir. We'll keep our eyes peeled. I wonder if he noticed the pie.
[?]
Ranger Jones: Ra... Smith. You have a vis... Over.
Ranger Smith: Didn't understand a word of that, Jones.
Ranger Jones: Sorry. Some lady's here to see you.
Ranger Smith: Send her in.
Ranger Jones: Okay. I'll be in the Armadillo.
Ranger Smith: Or you could be...
Ranger Jones: Map stacking?
Ranger Smith: Map stacking.
[?]
Rachel: Ranger Smith?
Ranger Smith: Yes.
Rachel: Hello. I'm Rachel Johnson.
Ranger Smith: Hi.
Rachel: I was hoping to talk to you about filming a documentary here.
Ranger Smith: Sure. I can handle you for that. Handle that for you. Sorry. My work isn't... My brain isn't working right. I must have inhaled some jimsonweed.
Rachel: Oh. Datura stramonium. It's known to cause delirium...
Ranger Smith and Rachel: (in unison) Cramping and nausea.
Ranger Smith: You've read The North American Wilderness Guide.
Rachel: Yeah, I like to highlight all the plants and animals I see.
Ranger Smith: I like to... Me too.
Rachel: Ha, ha! Yeah.
Ranger Smith: Ranger Smith. At your service. You want to film a documentary in Jellystone?
Rachel: Yes. I sent you a letter about a month ago. Written on a piece of bark.
Ranger Smith: That was you!
Rachel: Yes. I'm sorry about that. I was in Sumatra, living among the orangutans at the time and they get very nervous if they spot anything from the modern world.
Ranger Smith: Really? Wow, that's amazing. Then what did you use for ink?
Rachel: Bird poop and spit.
Ranger Smith: Impressive. So, what are you here to film?
Rachel: Well, I was hoping to shoot a local species. Something to really capture the beauty of a national park.
Ranger Smith: Terrific. What animal were you thinking?
Rachel: I heard you had an unusual brown bear.
Ranger Smith: Brown bear?
Rachel: Yes. One that talks? Those are so rare.
Ranger Smith: None that I can think of.
Rachel: Named Yogi? Wears a hat and a tie?
Ranger Smith: No, that doesn't ring a bell.
Rachel: I think he's standing on the roof, trying to steal your lunchbox.
[?]
Yogi Bear: I smell PB and J.
[He falls down over the edge of the building.]
Ranger Jones: I'm all done.
[Yogi falls on the map stand, breaking it.]
Ranger Smith: Oh, right. That Yogi.
[?]
Mayor Brown: Bankrupt? No, no, no. We're a city. Cities don't go bankrupt.
Chief of Staff: They do when they're broke, sir.
Mayor Brown: We just have to find some money somewhere. I'm about to run for governor. How am I gonna do that when my own city is bankrupt? Okay, yes. Thank you.
Assistant: Here's the invoice, Mr. Mayor.
Mayor Brown: Yikes! Wow. Ha. I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that. Just bill it to the city, okay? Thank you. Ugh. How did we ever go so broke?
Chief of Staff: I think we just spent too much.
Mayor Brown: Hmm. Is there anything we can sell?
Chief of Staff: You already sold the public golf course to condo developers... two of the three fire stations to that frozen yogurt company. You were selling the library, but it burned down.
Mayor Brown: Oh, yeah. That was gonna be one of those make-your-own-doughnut places.
Chief of Staff: No.
Mayor Brown: Yeah. If you could dream it up, you could make it.
Chief of Staff: Ah. Love those.
Mayor Brown: We gotta think of something here.
Chief of Staff: Well, if we don't have anything to sell, maybe we can profit off what we can't sell.
Mayor Brown: I don't understand those words.
Chief of Staff: Like when we sold the bottling rights to the water in Lake Beuclair.
Mayor Brown: We made a fortune.
Chief of Staff: Yeah.
Mayor Brown: Sinkhole Beuclair is a great place to throw old mattresses.
Chief of Staff: Oh, yeah.
Mayor Brown: Hmm. We just don't have any more resources to exploit. Or do we? Jellystone. If we rezone Jellystone Park as agricultural land, we can sell the logging rights. Here. This company says they'll give us thousands of dollars an acre just to cut down the trees or something. That'll be enough to balance the budget and give each citizen a big fat check. You have any idea how many votes that'll buy me?
Chief of Staff: Enough to be the next governor?
Mayor Brown: Exactly.
[?]
Ranger Smith: You're fine, Yogi. It's just a few scrapes and bruises.
Yogi Bear: I don't know, Mr. Ranger. I'm pretty sure I heard my spine snap.
Ranger Smith: Well, you wouldn't be able to stand. (Yogi falls to the ground) And you wouldn't be able to eat.
Yogi Bear: (stands up) I'm okay!
Ranger Smith: Yogi, Boo Boo, I would like to introduce you to Rachel Johnson who's here to make a nature documentary.
[Rachel growls like a bear while holding out her hand.]
Yogi Bear: What the heck was that?
Rachel: I was saying hello. I lived in a den with brown bears for six months.
Yogi Bear: Only bear I've ever lived with is Boo Boo. And he only makes that sound after he's eaten baked beans. Heh, heh.
Boo Boo: I have problems with baked beans.
Yogi Bear: And for a little bear, he makes a lot of stink.
Ranger Smith: Okay, I have some fantastic river otters you can film instead. Could get a hat and tie on the slow one.
Rachel: No, you know, I really, really like these two. Would you guys mind if I shoot you?
Yogi Bear: Huh?
[He quickly runs away.]
Boo Boo: Yogi, I think she meant with a camera.
Rachel: Yes. Of course with a camera.
[Yogi comes out from behind a tree.]
Yogi Bear: Heh-heh-heh. I knew that.
Rachel: But not just any camera.
[?]
Yogi Bear: This isn't gonna make me look fat, is it?
Rachel: No, you are gonna look great. Okay, just a few more adjustments.
Boo Boo: Please, excuse the pre-tied bow tie. My mornings are often rushed.
Rachel: It's fine, Boo Boo. This is going to be a whole new perspective for a documentary. The Boo Boo cam will capture the true wilderness in all its natural glory. No other human in sight.
Ranger Smith: That sounds like my apartment. Ha, ha. Uh, you know, because I live alone. Well, plenty of women have tried to change that. It's just, I haven't found one that...
Boo Boo: Likes you?
Ranger Smith: What? No. No, that...
Boo Boo: Will return your calls?
Ranger Smith: Can you stop helping, please?
Yogi Bear: Sir, I can see you like this lady. But your courting rituals need work. What you need to do is follow her around for two days making snorting sounds. Then fight any male that looks at her. And then, of course, urinate on her to mark her as your territory. Works every time.
Ranger Smith: I got it under control, Yogi.
Rachel: Boo Boo, you're rolling.
Boo Boo: Cool. Yogi Bear, a brown bear commonly found in North America and Alaska. Weighing up to pounds, brown bears are also the national animal of Finland.
Ranger Smith: I don't think you have to narrate.
Yogi Bear: But I liked where you were going with it, Boo Boo. I was hooked.
Boo Boo: Really?
Yogi Bear: Yes. Now try to film from flattering angles, if you know what I mean. Pic-a-nic baskets may be delicious on the lips, but they're a lifetime on the hips.
Ranger Jones: Oh, no. 
[?]
Ranger Jones: Ranger Smith! Ranger Smith. The mayor's here.
[?]
Ranger Smith: What's he doing here?
Ranger Jones: Why didn't he give us more warning? I have to secure the area. All units, lock down the park. Repeat, lock down the park.
Ranger Smith: Jones, you know I'm the only other ranger here, right?
Ranger Jones: Yeah.
[?]
Mayor Brown: Ranger Smith, we need to talk.
Ranger Smith: You could've just called.
Mayor Brown: Yeah, but I thought this would be more friendly. I'm really working on my people skills. Anyway, I am closing your park down. Okay.
Ranger Smith: What?
Mayor Brown: Oh, yeah, this place just costs the city way too much money. Jellystone hasn't made its operating budget in years.
Ranger Smith: You know, it's hard to compete with all those amusement parks...
Mayor Brown: Oh, hey, you're not kidding. Oh, have you guys been to Lincoln Log Land yet? Oh, man, they have got a roller coaster there, it's made completely out of logs. It's just like they rode in the pioneer days. It's unbelievable.
Ranger Smith: Sir, Jellystone is special. Okay? It's turning 100 years old this very year. Why, it's a landmark. I would never let it be closed down.
Mayor Brown: Well, uh, you actually don't have a choice. Have you read the city bylaws lately?
Chief of Staff: Chapter 6. Section 73. "Any municipal property that can't generate enough money to cover its operating budget can be rezoned for other uses."
Mayor Brown: And since Jellystone loses money every year, we're shutting it down. Uh, sorry? I thought that went well.
Chief of Staff: Yeah.
Ranger Smith: Just a second, Mr. Mayor. Who says we can't cover our budget? Park doesn't report earnings till next quarter.
Mayor Brown: Yeah, which is like one week away. Come on, Smith. You gotta be $20,000 in the hole.
Ranger Jones: We wish. Yeah. Try 30,562. 
[?]
Ranger Jones: That's probably a couple hundred extra for the map stand. I think it's confession time. I only pretended to fix it.
Ranger Smith: Thanks, Jones.
Mayor Brown: Sounds like you're in pretty deep there, Smith.
Ranger Smith: Maybe we are. But this is one of the last places families can go to be close to nature. The world needs that.
Mayor Brown: Well, I'm not mayor of the world. I'm mayor of this city. And this city needs this park rezoned. I'm sorry. I feel awful about it. Even though I look really good. This is a new suit. So, okay.
Ranger Smith: Maybe we don't have our operating budget today. But you know what? A lot can happen in a week.
Mayor Brown: All right. Have it your way. Take a week. Hey, I'll even get you started. What's the admission fee for one car again?
Ranger Smith: Four dollars.
Mayor Brown: Four dollars, huh? Four whole dollars? Well, that changes everything. Oh, my goodness. Well, I only need to come back in here like, uh, what, 10,000 more times? In a week! Do I have time for that?
Chief of Staff: Impossible.
Mayor Brown: Oh, shoot.
[?]
Boo Boo: (to his turtle) You hungry, buddy?
Yogi Bear: Of course! I'm always hungry.
Boo Boo: I was talking to my pet turtle. (to his turtle) Here you go.
Yogi Bear: That better not be my beef jerky.
[The turtle quickly eats the jerky and Boo Boo gets nervous.]
Boo Boo: So, what's the big deal, Yogi?
Yogi Bear: This is the big deal, Boo Boo. It's my masterpiece. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: The Basket-Nabber 2000. The most advanced pic-a-nic basket-stealing technology ever invented.
Boo Boo: Wow.
Yogi Bear: Climb aboard. This glider can steer... dive, shoot rubber bands at pesky-type birds... and even has an air bag.
[Boo Boo touches the balloon that serves as an airbag, but it pops by his claw.]
Yogi Bear: Had an air bag.
Boo Boo: Sorry, Yogi.
Yogi Bear: Not to worry. We could cushion our landing with all the pic-a-nic baskets we swipe. Now, how's that copilot seat feel?
Boo Boo: A little wobbly, like it's not tied on very tight.
Yogi Bear: You won't feel that in the air. Get ready to fly faster than the speed of sandwich, Boo Boo. We're gonna break the pic-a-nic barrier.
Ranger Smith: (offscreen) Yogi!
Yogi Bear: Uh-oh.
Boo Boo: That's not his happy voice.
Yogi Bear: Don't move. I'm switching the glider into stealth mode.
Boo Boo: Stealth mode? Wow. How are you able to...? (a shroud covers him and the plane) Oh.
[Smith comes in to visit Yogi.]
Yogi Bear: Ah, Mr. Ranger, sir. Welcome. Can I interest you in a sody pop? There you go.
Ranger Smith: When did you steal our vending machine?
Yogi Bear: I, um... I'm repairing it, sir. This machine gives its sodas away for free when a bear kicks it.
Ranger Smith: Look, a camper has reported some missing fishing poles... so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it was you.
Yogi Bear: Fishing poles? Sir, I'm a bear. If I wanted to catch fish, I would just use my...
Ranger Smith: Your paws, Yogi.
Yogi Bear: Isn't that kind of unsanitary?
Ranger Smith: What's that?
Yogi Bear: What's what?
Ranger Smith: That thing.
Yogi Bear: What thing?
Ranger Smith: The thing under the blanket.
Yogi Bear: Blanket?
Ranger Smith: The object right behind you.
Yogi Bear: Oh. Oh, that. Heh. A sculpture. I'm sculpting now. Mostly landscapes.
Ranger Smith: And where's Boo Boo?
Yogi Bear: France.
Ranger Smith: What?
Yogi Bear: That's not close by, is it?
Boo Boo: No.
Yogi Bear: Then he's in the bathroom.
Ranger Smith: Excuse me.
Yogi Bear: Wait!
[Smith removes the shroud to reveal the plane and Boo Boo.]
Boo Boo: Hey, this isn't the bathroom. (runs off)
[Later, Smith places the Basket-Nabber 2000 in the shed.]
Yogi Bear: I'm telling you, Mr. Ranger, it's not for stealing pic-a-nic baskets.
Ranger Smith: It says "Basket-Nabber 2000" right here, Yogi.
Yogi Bear: I do regret calling it that now.
Ranger Smith: I know I'm always saying, "Stay away from the campers." This is different. Jellystone is in real trouble. If I don't raise $30,000, in a week, this park's getting rezoned.
Yogi Bear: Rezoned? What does that mean?
Ranger Smith: It means the park won't be a park anymore. The city will use this land for something else. So we have got to do everything we can to help save it. Which means you have gotta stop stealing food so that campers will leave here happy.
Yogi Bear: But they do leave here happy. Getting your food stolen by Yogi Bear is special. People come here for that. It's like catching a foul ball at a baseball game.
Ranger Smith: Nope. It's like getting your food stolen at a baseball game. Come on, Yogi. Would it really be so hard to be a regular bear? You know, to forage for food, to walk around on all fours... to hibernate a little, or a lot.
Yogi Bear: If nature had meant for me to be a regular bear... it wouldn't have given me such a good thought-cooker, sir. I can't help it if my melon is full of smart juice.
Ranger Smith: Yogi, your melon is hurting this park. There are repercussions to stealing people's picnic baskets.
Yogi Bear: Not in my experience, sir.
[He sits down on the table, only for the plank to launch him off and hit the target on the tree.]
Yogi Bear: On the other hand...
[A pinecone falls on his eye and he utters a Wilhelm scream. Later, Smith drives up in the Armadillo.]
Ranger Jones: Ranger Smith, mind if I borrow the 'dilla? It's an emergency. Somebody parked without parking decals.
Ranger Smith: Jones, I would really prefer it if you focused on just maintaining the park instead. Let me deal with the visitors until you've had more experience.
Ranger Jones: Sorry, sir. Guess that's just the Eagle Scout in me, you know? Always wanting to be in control, be a leader. Live up to this fanny pack full of merit badges.
Ranger Smith: You know that fanny pack is for first aid supplies, right?
Ranger Jones: A merit badge in first aid is the only supply I need, sir.
Ranger Smith: Right, but it might not be the only supply a hurt person needs. You seen Rachel?
Ranger Jones: Yeah, I saw her. She was heading up to Lookout Mountain. She can't be far. I'll drive. Let's roll.
[Jones gets in the vehicle with Smith.]
Ranger Smith: Jones.
[Jones gets out and Smith drives off. Meanwhile, Rachel is at Lookout Mountain, filming the scenic vista of Jellystone Park.]
Rachel: The sprawling beauty of Jellystone Park. A timeless stretch of wilderness untouched by man.
[Smith arrives, wearing a fancy green ranger outfit.]
Rachel: Oh. Ranger Smith. Wow, heh. What's with the fancy outfit?
Ranger Smith: Dress greens. I always wear dress greens in the evening. You know, in case there's, you know... I don't know how to talk to girls.
Rachel: Oh. Why do you think I spend so much time with animals? All you have to do is scratch their backside and you've got a friend for life. Try that with people and all of a sudden, you're the weird girl on the bus that nobody wants to sit next to.
Ranger Smith: Um, uh, listen. I was wondering, you know, if you were... I mean, it's getting late and we could, uh... If you want. I mean, it's not that... You don't... It's... You know, it's not a worry. Don't worry.
Rachel: Did you just ask me to dinner?
Ranger Smith: Yes. I did. Heh. Good, you got that, huh?
Rachel: Yes.
Ranger Smith: I just thought, well, it's getting late. I happen to know this great place. Very gourmet.
Rachel: Really? Where?
Ranger Smith: So close you won't believe it.
[Later, the two have a dinner date at a cabin.]
Rachel: Wow, how did you ever find this place?
Ranger Smith: This is a four-star porch. And fresh from the hot plate, I give you... rack of Spam.
[He serves her a gourmet meal consisting of Spam.]
Rachel: Oh. Wow.
Ranger Smith: Maybe "gourmet" was a bit of a stretch.
Rachel: No, it actually looks wonderful.
Ranger Smith: Great.
Rachel: You know, this really is a peaceful place.
Ranger Smith: It's something, isn't it? I pretty much grew up here. My father was a ranger when I was a kid and he turned this park into the number one tourist destination in the state. I mean, it was a park, you know? Like families came by the hundreds... swam in the streams, hiked on the trails. It was really something.
Rachel: This is really good.
Ranger Smith: Anyway, I don't know. Maybe it's my fault. I spent so many years learning everything I could about the park, so I'd be a better ranger. Maybe instead, I should have come up with a gimmick to get people to come here. You know, change the name to Extreme Jellystone.
Rachel: I think that it's perfect just the way it is.
Ranger Smith: You do? You're right. Absolutely. There's no better place on earth.
Yogi Bear: (offscreen) Hey, Mr. Ranger.
Ranger Smith: Except a place without him.
[Yogi and Boo-Boo arrive at the cabin.]
Yogi Bear: Evening, Mr. Ranger, sir. Madame Moviemaker Lady. And yes, I'm using the fancy tense to show you the utmost respect.
Rachel: Hi. Ha, ha.
Ranger Smith: What do you want, Yogi?
Yogi Bear: Well, I was thinking about the park's prickly predicament and I would like to do my part to help. This is all the money I have saved. Almost $100. I was going to use it on myself, but I'd rather donate it to Jellystone.
Ranger Smith: Well, thank you, Yogi. That's... That is very sweet. Where does a bear get money from?
Yogi Bear: That brown box by the parking lot.
Ranger Smith: The park donation box.
Yogi Bear: Yep. But I want you to have it. Consider it a gift to Jellystone.
Ranger Smith: That won't be hard. Look, guys, I appreciate the effort. But what this park needs is visitors and lots of them.
Yogi Bear: Well, I can help you there, sir. Just make me a headliner. I will rock this place. Kick it, Boo Boo.
Boo Boo: Kicking it.
[They proceed to dance to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” However, Smith shuts off the radio.]
Ranger Smith: That's not gonna work either, Yogi.
Yogi Bear: You're right. We need something flashier than music. Not a problem. I've got this water-skiing routine that will change the face of entertainment. Got a little of everything. Music, stunts, magic. And I jump over Boo Boo at the end.
Boo Boo: No, you don't.
Yogi Bear: I want to try it.
Boo Boo: I don't care.
Ranger Smith: I hate to interrupt, but you're not gonna water-ski or dance or do anything that might disturb the campers, okay? If what you really want to do is help save this park, you will lay low, stay away from people. Think you can do that for me?
Yogi Bear: You have my word, Mr. Ranger. I will be seen, but not heard.
Ranger Smith: Or seen.
Yogi Bear: Fine.
Boo Boo: Huh?
Yogi Bear: You guys done with that Spam?
Ranger Smith: Get out of here.
Yogi Bear: Okay. Sheesh!
[?]
Rachel: Hey. What's this?
Ranger Smith: Seasons pass applications. Unfortunately, not a lot of takers on those.
Rachel: Fifty bucks for an entire year? Including camping fees? That's a bargain.
Ranger Smith: If this were a place people wanted to visit throughout the year.
Rachel: Maybe Yogi was on to something. You said the park was turning 100, right?
Ranger Smith: Right.
Rachel: Well, a big event could really pull people in.
Ranger Smith: Yeah, you're right. We could have, like, a moss collection day or a big squirrel chase. Or...
Rachel: Fireworks.
Ranger Smith: Yes. Exactly. Why didn't I think of that? We could host a big centennial festival. People always show up for fireworks.
Rachel: If even half of the people buy season passes... the park makes enough money to stay open.
Ranger Smith: Right. Let's get the word out.
Rachel: I think I can help with that.
[?]
Ranger Smith: That is great. How did we pay for it?
Rachel: We didn't. It was some fast-food restaurant, but I rearranged the letters right before the plane took off.
Ranger Smith: You're very cool, Rachel Johnson.
Rachel: You're pretty cool yourself.
Ranger Smith: I do have my own kind of natural swagger.
[Jones is seen handing out fliers to people while wearing a yellow sign costume.]
Ranger Jones: Jellystone National Park, 100th year anniversary. There'll be fireworks. (speaks to himself) Just stay calm, Jones. You should be patrolling in the Armadillo making park-impacting decisions, but... (hands a flier to a lady) Hey, 100th year anniversary.
Lady: Thanks.
Ranger Jones: (speaks to himself) But you're not there yet. You still have to follow orders. Even if those orders make you look like a giant Cheez-It. 
[?]
Ranger Jones: Mr. Mayor! Hi, Mr. Mayor.
Mayor Brown: Why is it only going halfway down again? Doesn't make any... No! Oh, okay. Is it a double tap or do I have to press it...? Oh, dang it!
Chief of Staff: I got it, sir.
Mayor Brown: Yeah. That's exactly what I did. Let me see one of those fliers. "Come celebrate Jellystone's 100th anniversary with fireworks and fun."
Chief of Staff: "And receive $10 off a season pass"?
Mayor Brown: He's gonna try to make the budget selling season passes.
Ranger Jones: Yeah, ugh. It's not a very good idea, in my opinion. But nobody consulted me, because my job is just to maintain the park... which is basically poking trash with a stick.
Mayor Brown: Yeah. Yeah, why is a guy with your talent doing this insulting grunt work? You should be running a park.
Ranger Jones: Yeah, but Ranger Smith says I have to pay my dues.
Mayor Brown: Excuse me?
Chief of Staff: What?
Mayor Brown: He has to pay his dues? Ha.
Chief of Staff: Ha, ha.
Mayor Brown: Nobody pays dues anymore. You gotta be in charge now while you still know everything.
Ranger Jones: That's what I've been saying.
Mayor Brown: Yeah. Buddy, if it was up to me, you would be the head ranger of Jellystone already.
Ranger Jones: You'd put me in charge?
Mayor Brown: In a second. Yes. You know, if this centennial festival didn't work out, I probably could relocate Smith. You know, uh, maybe you could help me with that. Make sure it doesn't succeed?
Ranger Jones: Wait, you mean, like, sabotage it?
Mayor Brown: No. Oh, no, no, no. No, I want you to be head ranger. It just so happens that the only way to do that is to bring down this festival. But spend the rest of your life as second-in-command if you like. That's fine. It's a perfectly valid life choice. Well, you just think about it and give me a call, okay? Here's my card. So long. Hey. Now why is it doing that?
[?]
Ranger Jones: No. Boy Scouts are loyal, thrifty, kind...
Ranger Smith: Hey, you're back. Hey, thanks for getting those fliers out. Let me tell you, this festival is gonna be huge.
Ranger Jones: Hey, Ranger Smith, how long do you think until I reach head ranger status?
Ranger Smith: Oh, no time at all. I did it in short years.
Ranger Jones: Ha, okay. Are you serious?
Ranger Smith: Just be patient, Jones. It'll be here before you know it. This festival's gonna be great!
[?]
Ranger Jones: I can't wait 12 years.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Seasons pass order forms. Seasons pass order forms. Thank you. Seasons pass order forms, $10 off today. Ah, enjoy.
[?]
Yogi Bear: I can't take it, Boo Boo. Two days without a tasty treat to eat? And I have to sit up here while they're having a "happy birthday, Jellystone" party? And they have doughnuts. Doughnuts!
[?]
Boo Boo: (over radio) Yogi, what are you doing? 
[?]
Boo Boo: Yogi!
Yogi Bear: I'm going.
Boo Boo: Hey. Wait. Don't do it, Yogi. You promised Mr. Ranger.
Yogi Bear: You're right. I'm losing control, Boo Boo. I don't know who's steering the ship. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Here. I want you to handcuff me to this tree and not unlock it no matter what I say.
Boo Boo: Okay, Yogi.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Okay, unlock me.
Boo Boo: Huh?
Yogi Bear: It was a bad idea. Unlock me. Unlock me!
[?]
Boo Boo: Okay. Here you go.
[?]
Ranger Jones: Folks, I hate to say this, but there are no spots left. Forecast called for thunderstorms. Severe lightning. I fear for your young ones. We're out of fireworks, I'm afraid. It's just sparklers left. (sees the mayor’s limo coming in) Oh, no.
[?]
Ranger Jones: You look nice. Your napkin matches your tie.
Mayor Brown: I don't need you to kiss up to me. Got this guy for that.
Chief of Staff: That's a good point, sir.
Mayor Brown: You were gonna handle this situation, yet there are quite a few people here.
Ranger Jones: Sir, I tried. All last night I spent taking down fliers. I blocked the entrance with a vehicle to back up traffic. I hung up "rabid squirrel" signs everywhere. Those were hand-drawn. Nothing is working.
Mayor Brown: You need to think of something, don't you? Or maybe you're just not head ranger material.
Ranger Smith: Mr. Mayor. Mayor's yes man. So glad you could join us. I saved you a nice spot next to the porta-potties.
Mayor Brown: Oh, well, thank you. Well, that's very thoughtful. You know, I'm just so glad that these festivities are going so well, Smith. I just hope nothing goes wrong.
[?]
Ranger Smith: We are gonna pull this off, Jonesy. I've seen hundreds of people filling out seasons pass order forms. The weather's great. The fireworks, ready to go. Even Yogi's staying out of the way.
Ranger Jones: (gets an idea) Yogi.
[He walks over to the two bears.]
Ranger Jones: Hey, guys. Sorry, just wandering around, bored out of my mind.
Boo Boo: Bored? But the 100th anniversary extravaganza's going on.
Ranger Jones: Yeah, more like 100th anniversary lame-aganza. You know, because it's so lame. People see fireworks every day in the city. They thought they'd see something different here.
Yogi Bear: I knew it. I should be out there doing my water-ski routine. I'm a shining star and Ranger Smith is holding me back.
Boo Boo: I don't know, Yogi. Mr. Ranger is usually right about these things.
Ranger Jones: No, Boo Boo, Ranger Smith is in denial. I mean, he's lost it, you know? I saw him a couple days ago. He was filling his pockets with dirt. He said he's gonna start moving the park to his apartment piece by piece.
Boo Boo: How big is his apartment?
Yogi Bear: There's still time. I won't be able to do the half-hour artistic program, but that was more for me anyway. These people need the razzle-dazzle.
Boo Boo: I don't think we've practiced the razzle-dazzle.
Yogi Bear: You're not supposed to, Boo Boo. That's where it gets the razzle.
Boo Boo: Yogi, I really don't think we should...
Yogi Bear: Boo Boo, you've tried to stop my brilliant ideas with common sense a thousand times. Has it ever worked?
Boo Boo: No.
Yogi Bear: Then let's go, go, go.
[?]
Mayor Brown: What does that taste like? Unemployment?
Chief of Staff: I'm sorry.
Mayor Brown: Yeah.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Thanks again for helping with the fireworks. I don't know where Jones disappeared to.
Rachel: My pleasure.
Ranger Smith: You know, um, Rachel, I've been wanting to tell you... well, how much l...
Rachel: Ranger...
Ranger Smith: No, please, let me get through this. I'm not very good with words. But I have never felt so... gushy. Ha-ha-ha. You know?
Rachel: Ranger...
Ranger Smith: You know what I did? I went and I wrote a song about you. It's like this: (hums) Oh, no. (sings) I... saw you at the station. Had a heart palpitation. My sickness was love and you're the medication. Rachel, Rachel...
Rachel: The microphone is on.
Ranger Smith: (sings) And it comes around again. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel...
Rachel: The microphone is on.
[Smith stops to notice the crowd staring at him in confusion.]
Ranger Smith: Yes, the mic... (to the crowd) Hi. Hello... and welcome to the 100th anniversary of Jellystone! Thank you. It is so wonderful to see so many people here today. I've noticed many of you filling out your seasons pass order forms. We're more than happy to collect those after the fireworks. But first, please, sit back, get comfortable and enjoy the show!
Mayor Brown: Terrific.
Ranger Jones: Mr. Mayor?
[Poison’s “Nothin’ But a Good Time” starts playing.]
Ranger Smith: That's not the right music.
[?]
Yogi Bear: I'll take it from here, Mr. Ranger!
Ranger Smith: Oh, no.
Yogi Bear: Full speed ahead, Boo Boo.
Boo Boo: Okay.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Not bad, eh, Boo Boo?
Boo Boo: Looking good, Yogi.
[?]
Ranger Smith: This cannot be happening.
Rachel: Oh, it's happening.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Hello, Jellystone!
[?]
Ranger Smith: No, don't encourage him!
[?]
Yogi Bear: They love me. I can do no wrong. Watch this. All right, Boo Boo! Turn up the heat!
Boo Boo: Phase two, go.
[?]
Yogi Bear: I'm an unstoppable water-skiing machine. Ta-da! Oh, wait. There's more. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: How about if I heat things up?
[?]
Ranger Smith: Yogi!
[?]
Boo Boo: Yogi, your cape.
Yogi Bear: I know. It is magnificent.
Boo Boo: And on Fire.
Yogi Bear: Huh? Fire!
[?]
Ranger Smith: Turn the boat!
Boo Boo: Huh?
Ranger Smith: Turn, Boo Boo!
Boo Boo: Hang on, Yogi!
[?]
Yogi Bear: Too much razzle!
[?]
Rachel: Nice one.
Ranger Smith: Thanks. 
[?]
Ranger Smith: Jump!
[?]
Ranger Jones: Let's go.
[?]
Man: Out of my way!
[?]
Mayor Brown: This could not have gone more perfectly. Hey, you got a little, uh... Never mind. Let's go.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Mr. Ranger, I thought...
Ranger Smith: Yogi, that's the problem. All the thinking. Hey, you know what would be great? If you didn't think. If you could just be a regular bear. You know, sitting in the woods, minding his own business. But no, you're different. You're smart. And you'd rather spend your days being selfish and destructive... while everyone else pays the price. But I guess it wasn't enough, screwing up my life. No, this time you had to go and bring down this entire park. So, tell me, Yogi... how smart are you now?
[?]
Mayor Brown: Hey, there! That was quite a show you put on yesterday. Ha-ha-ha. I can't wait to see what you do with this. That's your new assignment. Evergreen Park. Oh, I think you're just going to find it delightful. Oh, and, uh, Ranger Jones is gonna be taking over here.
Ranger Smith: Ranger Jones?
Mayor Brown: Well, I have got a press conference to plan. You see, it turns out I've saved the city. Don't forget to vote, my friend. Brown for governor! Ha-ha-ha. He's not gonna vote for me, is he?
Chief of Staff: Uh, no.
[?]
Rachel: You did everything you could.
Ranger Smith: Doesn't matter. This park needed a ranger who could make it popular again. I'm just some guy who knows how old every tree is. Fat lot of good that did Jellystone. Face it. You and I are just two people who care about things that nobody else does... and that's why we're alone.
Rachel: Or maybe that's why we found each other. Did you ever think of that?
Ranger Smith: Rachel, you and this park have one thing in common. You both deserve a better man than me.
[?]
Boo Boo: I can't believe he's really gone. Yogi, are you okay?
Yogi Bear: I'm done being special, Boo Boo. Ranger Smith was right. My whole life, I've been different. But it's done nothing but hurt people. The world would be better off if I was only as smart as the average bear.
Boo Boo: Yogi, what are you doing?
Yogi Bear: I'm leaving, Boo Boo. I am going to forage for food in the wild.
Boo Boo: Huh?
Yogi Bear: Might even catch some fish. With my paws. I'm just gonna grab a little something for the road. Some chips and soda. And this. Peach pie. Any more of that casserole?
Boo Boo: Top shelf.
Yogi Bear: I'll be out there. Fending for myself. Foraging for food in the wild.
[?]
Ranger Jones: Goodbye, horsepower limiter. There's a new head ranger in town. 
[?]
Ranger Jones: Let's see what you got. 
[?]
Ranger Jones: Perfect.
[In the woods, Yogi cries while eating ice cream.]
Yogi Bear: I'm sorry, Ranger Smith. No more food. No more pic-a-nickers. How could this get any worse? (rain pours down) Oh.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Ah, Evergreen Park. Yes, it is simply delightful.
[?]
Mayor Brown: Come on.
Chief of Staff: I've got it, sir.
Mayor Brown: This is unbelievable. (window fully rolls down) Ah, Evergreen Park. Lovely, isn't it?
Ranger Smith: This isn't a park. I can barely breathe in here. Look at these trees. They're all plastic.
Mayor Brown: Oh, no, they're real. It's just years of smog and pollution have left a plastic-like coating on them.
Ranger Smith: Think people will be happy you're closing the most beautiful park in the state?
Mayor Brown: Well, they will be when they find out it's making the city rich and giving each citizen a check for $1000.
Ranger Smith: How is that even possible?
Mayor Brown: Oh, well, it turns out that there has been some agricultural interest in the park. And it's a lot more profitable than people in station wagons making s'mores. (the two laugh) Have a good day, Ranger Smith. (window stops halfway) I hate this car. I hate it.
[?]
Ranger Jones: Yeah!
[?]
Mayor Brown: Oh, hey, there he is. Ha-ha-ha.
Ranger Jones: Whoa, hey, Mr. Mayor! I, uh... Just finishing some stamping.
Mayor Brown: You are doing great, Jones. I knew you were the guy for this job. Quick thing. You'll probably notice some giant trucks rumbling by. We're just clearing a little patch of trees for my press conference. No big deal.
Ranger Jones: Um, wait, you're cutting down trees?
Mayor Brown: Oh, yeah. Well, just a few. It's nothing to worry about. Actually gonna improve the park quite a bit. I'll bet one of the first things you noticed as head ranger is that you need more clear spaces here, and you are absolutely right. Now you can host concerts and Boy Scout jamborees. That's a pretty smart move there, Head Ranger Jones.
Ranger Jones: I have some other park improvements I want to run by you.
Mayor Brown: Oh, splendid, yes. I think I have a few moments to hear those. Look into the security arrangements for tomorrow. I don't want any surprises. I'll hear what Ding-Dong has to say. What do you got?
[Back in the woods, Yogi is trying to adjust to his new life as an average bear.]
Yogi Bear: I'm hungrier than the average bear. I wish I could find a bush that tasted like birthday cake.
[He finds a worm squirming on a tree and grabs it.]
Yogi Bear: Gotcha. (grimaces) Pretend it's a gummy worm. Pretend it's a gummy worm.
[As he eats the worm, Boo Boo finds Yogi.]
Boo Boo: Yogi, I've been looking everywhere for you.
Yogi Bear: Not now, Boo Boo. I'm busy foraging.
[The worm pops out from his nostril, and he snorts it back up, only to shoot it out.]
Boo Boo: Come on, Yogi. Jellystone is in trouble. We need your help.
Yogi Bear: Nothing I can do, Boo Boo. I'm average now. My brain is out of business. I wouldn't even be standing if my paws didn't hurt.
Boo Boo: Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You know you're not an average bear.
Yogi Bear: Hey, hey, Boo Boo. You're right, I'm not. I failed at that too.
Boo Boo: Hey, come back here. You've gotta save Jellystone.
[He pounces on Yogi and they roll through the forest.]
Yogi Bear: What are you doing? I'm not...
[Then, Boo Boo sits on top of Yogi.]
Boo Boo: Yogi, you have to use your smarts for good. And if you can't see that, maybe you are just an average bear. Come on.
[He drags Yogi to a part of the woods. Some of the trees have been cut down.]
Boo Boo: Now do you understand?
Yogi Bear: What's going on, Boo Boo?
Boo Boo: I don't know. But whatever it is... I think they're just getting started.
[Camera pans back to show trees with X’s on them. Determination grows inside Yogi as the Superman theme plays out.]
Yogi Bear: Boo Boo... get my collar.
[In the cave, Yogi puts on his signature hat, collar, and tie.]
Yogi Bear: Nobody is gonna hurt Jellystone.
[?]
Boo Boo: Where are we going, Yogi?
Yogi Bear: We can't get Jellystone back alone, Boo Boo. My thinker is good, but Ranger Smith's is better.
Boo Boo: He was going to a place called Evergreen Park.
Yogi Bear: That's right. In the city.
Boo Boo: The city? That's a long walk.
Yogi Bear: Don't be silly, Boo Boo. I've already got a smarty-smart cheat to keep our feet off the street. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Get ready for it. Here it comes. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Run, Boo Boo, run! 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Hurry, Boo Boo. I think we gotta jump for it. Ready? All aboard. Good.
Boo Boo: Yogi, grab my paw. 
[?]
Boo Boo: Sorry.
Yogi Bear: Boo Boo, Boo Boo, Boo Boo! I gotta get...!
[?]
Boo Boo: I guess it makes a stop here.
Yogi Bear: Yup.
[?]
Boo Boo: Looks like Evergreen Park is about two miles away from here.
Yogi Bear: Two miles? I'll have to tap into my emergency rations. Snack break.
Boo Boo: Come on, Yogi. We need to keep moving. It's not that far and it's all downhill.
Yogi Bear: Downhill? Excuse me, Mr. Dirty Shopper. Any chance my friend and I might borrow your wheely-basket?
Shopper: Is that chocolate?
[?]
Yogi Bear: Okay, Boo Boo, keep it steady.
Ranger Smith: (on phone) I'm okay, Ma. Just... Yeah, no, it's not Jellystone, but at least there's nothing here to drive me crazy.
Yogi Bear: Hey, Mr. Ranger.
Ranger Smith: Hey, Yogi. (realizes) All right, Ma, I gotta call you back. (hangs up) What are you guys doing here?
Yogi Bear: We need your help, Mr. Ranger, sir. But don't worry, my days of goofing things up for you are over.
Roller Skater: Hey, move that shopping cart! 
[?]
Roller Skater: I'm okay!
Yogi Bear: I'm just gonna put this over here.
Ranger Smith: What do you want? I don't have a life left for you to ruin anymore.
Yogi Bear: Sir, I know I messed things up and I'm sorry. I never meant to. You and Boo Boo are the best friends I ever had. And I've never done anything but think of myself. And now Jellystone is just gonna be a big field of stumps.
Ranger Smith: What?
Boo Boo: They've started cutting down the trees.
Ranger Smith: "Agricultural interest" is logging. Oh, no, not our Jellystone.
Yogi Bear: We have to save it, sir.
Ranger Smith: I don't think we can save it, Yogi. I'm no smarter than you. I lost Jellystone. I lost Rachel. It's over.
Yogi Bear: Mr. Ranger, I've learned two things from stealing pic-a-nic baskets. Light mayonnaise is not nearly as good as regular mayonnaise. You can't fail if you never stop trying. You have to fight for the things you love whether it's a park, a girl or a roast beef sandwich. Don't give up now. We're all Jellystone's got.
Ranger Smith: You're right, Yogi. Jellystone's too important to give up on. We gotta try. Come on.
Yogi Bear: Shotgun.
Boo Boo: Aw.
[?]
Ranger Smith: I never thought I'd see this. Happy 100th anniversary, Jellystone.
Boo Boo: (spots Rachel) Isn't that Miss Movie Lady?
[?]
Rachel: I gotta get in there. You don't understand. Let me in, please.
Chief of Staff: No can do. Park is closed to the public until the press conference. Mayor's orders.
Rachel: Then go talk to him. Tell him what I told you.
Chief of Staff: I'm sorry. I don't really take orders from a...
Rachel: I lived with gorillas, pal. I know rage. You do not want me to go gorilla on you. (yells like a gorilla)
Chief of Staff: Uh, I'll speak to the mayor.
Rachel: Thank you.
Chief of Staff: Okay.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Rachel.
Rachel: Ranger Smith. I didn't think I'd ever see you again.
Ranger Smith: I know. I don't know what I was thinking. I think you're perfect. I think any guy in the world would be lucky just to stand next to you.
Rachel: You really mean that?
Ranger Smith: Of course I do. It's just, when I lost Jellystone, I felt like such a failure. But losing you has felt much, much worse. I'm like... I'm like a genus without a phylum.
Rachel: That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
[?]
Boo Boo: So, um, we're still here.
Yogi Bear: Mm-hm.
Ranger Smith: Oh, right. Ahem. So, what are you doing here?
Rachel: Come on, I'll show you.
Ranger Smith: Okay.
[?]
Rachel: I was reviewing the documentary footage from Boo Boo's camera and I saw this.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Oh, my. I see it. I have a bald spot back there!
Rachel: I'm not talking about you, Yogi. I'm talking about this.
[She shows them the turtle in the footage.]
Boo Boo: Yeah, it's my pet turtle. He hangs out at the cave all the time.
Yogi Bear: True. You know they don't come out of that shell? I tried one time to see what one would look like without it. But, nope, they're sewn in.
Rachel: This is no regular turtle. See the bulging frog-like eyes and the really wide mouth?
Ranger Smith: A frog-mouthed turtle?
Rachel: Yup, Rafetus swinhoei.
Ranger Smith: But those are extinct.
Rachel: For a hundred years, but apparently one still exists. And he lives in there. But they won't let me through the gates to go find him. 
Ranger Smith: But if Jellystone has an endangered species living in it, then...
Rachel: It has to be protected as a park. That's the law.
Ranger Smith: That turtle can save this park.
Yogi Bear: Now I feel kinda bad about using him as a foot stool.
[?]
Mayor Brown: You've seen the filmmaker?
Chief of Staff: Well, we spoke. About extinct turtles.
Mayor Brown: You're telling me there is an extinct turtle living here in the park?
Chief of Staff: According to Miss Johnson's film, there is.
Ranger Jones: An extinct turtle? That's great. Visitors will come from miles around to see an endangered species.
Mayor Brown: Yes, they will, and that is great. We need to find this turtle. Just to keep it safe. Have a vet check it out. The whole deal.
Chief of Staff: The sooner we get to him the better.
Mayor Brown: Oh, we need a head ranger who's good enough to find it. Someone who thinks like a turtle.
Ranger Jones: I am that head ranger.
Mayor Brown: Well, then why are you still here?
[?]
Rachel: He's back.
Ranger Smith: Come on. You need to let us in this park. That turtle needs protection.
Chief of Staff: Don't worry about the turtle. We're handling it. We'll make sure he's put in a nice zoo.
Rachel: No. A turtle that's endangered can't be removed from its natural habitat. It's against federal law.
Chief of Staff: It is? Wow, I've never heard of that law in chapter 4, subsection 6 of the Wildlife Protection Mandate.
Yogi Bear: Don't worry, Mr. Ranger, sir. That turtle is safe. These people have no idea where my cave is.
Chief of Staff: (on com) The turtle's in the talking bear's cave.
Ranger Jones: (on com) Copy that.
Yogi Bear: Wow, that backfired.
Ranger Smith: Okay. You know what? Fine, You win.
[?]
Rachel: What are you doing?
Ranger Smith: I have a plan. 
[?]
Ranger Smith: One of the advantages of having lived here since I was a kid... is I know this park like the back of my hand. Let's go!
Rachel: Hold on, boys.
Yogi Bear: All right.
[?]
Ranger Jones: Hey, there, little buddy. Hello, there. Uh-oh. Sorry about that. (speaks into com) Mayor Brown.
Mayor Brown: (on com) This had better be good, Jones.
Ranger Jones: (on com) I found the turtle. He was in Boo Boo's sleeping bag. But now I have him secure at the picnic area.
Mayor Brown: (on com) Jones, you're a hero. Sit tight. My chief of staff is on his way to get him.
Ranger Jones: (on com) Copy that. Head Ranger Jones over and out.
[?]
Ranger Smith: He found the turtle. Dang it. Can't cross those rapids. There's no way to get to him from here.
Yogi Bear: Well, there is one way. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: There it is. My masterpiece.
Ranger Smith: You really think you can pull this off?
Yogi Bear: I know I can, sir. I'm gonna snatch that basket-type turtle box and fly away like a fuzzy bird. And I've got the best copilot a basket-snatching machine could have.
Boo Boo: I don't know how to fly this thing.
Yogi Bear: Well, you'll pick it up as we go.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Okay. Look, just be careful, okay, Yogi?
Yogi Bear: Copy that, ground control. Basket-Nabber ready for takeoff. Flight systems check. Boo Boo?
Boo Boo: What?
Yogi Bear: Can you reach the pedals?
Boo Boo: If I point my toes.
Yogi Bear: Flight systems are go.
Rachel: Remember what I told you about flying gliders, Yogi. Don't fight the wind.
Yogi Bear: As long as the wind wants me to snatch up that turtle, we'll get along just fine.
Rachel: All right.
Yogi Bear: Start pedaling, Boo Boo.
Boo Boo: All right.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Here goes.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Hold on, Boo Boo. Fasten your seat belt.
Boo Boo: But there isn't one.
Yogi Bear: Here we go!
Boo Boo: Oh, Yogi!
[?]
Ranger Smith: The wind should carry you south! We'll meet you there!
Yogi Bear: Take your time, Mr. Ranger. This machine is equipped with landing gear. We'll touch down as soft as a feather. Whoops. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: This is your captain speaking. We'll reach our turtle target in about two minutes. So let's go ahead and start the beverage service.
[?]
Boo Boo: Yogi, look out.
Yogi Bear: Aah!
[?]
Boo Boo: Trees!
Yogi Bear: Yes, trees! 
[?]
Yogi Bear: I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't got it!
Boo Boo: Pull up.
Yogi Bear: Hey!
Boo Boo: Pull up! 
[?]
Boo Boo: You did it, Yogi.
Yogi Bear: Oh. Yeah.
[?]
Chief of Staff: Ha-ha-ha. Great job, Jones. I'll get this guy to the city zoo.
Ranger Jones: The city zoo?
Chief of Staff: Yep. They got a nice spot ready in the reptile house.
Ranger Jones: The city zoo doesn't have a reptile house.
Chief of Staff: They're building one.
Ranger Jones: Who is?
Chief of Staff: Builders.
Ranger Jones: Sure you're trying to protect the turtle?
Chief of Staff: Yeah, we love turtles.
Ranger Jones: Then you won't mind if I hold onto him until I notify the Wildlife Federation, right?
Chief of Staff: All right. You're gonna find this out in a few hours anyway, so I might as well tell you. We gotta lose this turtle to sell logging rights to the park.
Ranger Jones: Logging? The whole park?
Chief of Staff: Yeah, but who cares? It's still a park, just without trees. And they'll grow back.
Ranger Jones: Yeah, in like 200 years.
Chief of Staff: It doesn't matter. Your career is what matters.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Ha-ha-ha. Turtle target acquired. I need more feet of altitude. Engage the hand pedals.
Boo Boo: You couldn't put the hand pedals by you?
Yogi Bear: There's a suggestion box behind the seat, Boo Boo.
[?]
Ranger Jones: Wait, you don't want to approach him like that. He's poisonous.
Chief of Staff: He's in a basket.
Ranger Jones: But he can spit. Poison. He'll aim at your eyes. Melt them out of your head. I'm telling you, that turtle is deadly.
Chief of Staff: What are you looking at?
[?]
Yogi Bear: Hook me in, Boo Boo.
Boo Boo: Okay.
Yogi Bear: And fire!
Boo Boo: Here you go. Huh? Yogi, wait!
Yogi Bear: Here I come!
[?]
Chief of Staff: He's going for the turtle.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Mind if I borrow this?
Chief of Staff: Hey!
[?]
Yogi Bear: Look, Boo Boo! We got the turtle! Hey, why aren't you in your seat?
[?]
Ranger Smith: That bear knows how to steal a basket.
[?]
Chief of Staff: Everybody after that glider now! I'm not gonna let a bear make me look bad.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Been there, buddy.
[?]
Yogi Bear: We're drifting too far right. I wanna get us outside the park.
Boo Boo: Don't fight the wind, Yogi. Remember what Miss Movie Lady said about... 
[?]
Boo Boo: Never mind.
[As Yogi and Boo-Boo fall from the sky in their plane…]
Yogi Bear: Hang on, Boo Boo.
Boo Boo: What do we do now?
Yogi Bear: Did you check the safety manual?
Boo Boo: It's just a picture of us screaming.
[They scream.]
Yogi Bear: We've got to deject, Boo.
Boo Boo: Don't you mean eject?
Yogi Bear: Eject is up. Deject is down. In case of emergency your seat can also be used as a flotation device! 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Hey, told you. Nothing to worry about.
[Their plane crashes in the water behind them.]
Boo Boo: I actually think I wasn't worried enough.
Yogi Bear: Let me see how our little passenger is doing. Wonder why they call him a frog-mouthed turtle anyway? 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Hey!
Ranger Smith: (offscreen) Hey, guys, over here! 
[?]
Ranger Smith: Yogi, grab the branch.
Yogi Bear: Got you, Mr. Ranger, sir. 
[?]
Yogi Bear: Welcome aboard.
Ranger Smith: Yogi. We were trying to get you off the raft.
Yogi Bear: Yeah, that makes more sense.
Rachel: You guys did it. You saved him. (hears car horn honking) Oh, no.
[?]
Rachel: They're gonna catch us downstream.
Yogi Bear: I'm on it.
Ranger Smith: No, Yogi, don't.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Problem solved. They can't catch us now.
Ranger Smith: Yeah, because now we are headed straight for the Jellyjarring Rapids. Grab a paddle.
Boo Boo: (to his turtle) Tuck your head in, little buddy.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Brace yourselves.
Boo Boo: (to his turtle) Oh, come on, turtle.
Yogi Bear: Don't worry, I put safety belts in this raft for just such an occasion.
Boo Boo: You better hang on. Mr. Ranger said...
Yogi Bear: We're gonna be fine, Boo Boo. Just sit back and let Mother Nature carry us to...
Boo Boo: I think Mother Nature's kind of cranky today. 
[?]
Boo Boo: You okay, Yogi?
Yogi Bear: Fine!
Boo Boo: Turtle!
[?]
Yogi Bear: Who's that? I can't see.
Boo Boo: Come here, turtle. Got him.
Ranger Smith: Good work, Boo Boo.
Rachel: We made it through the rapids.
Ranger Smith: Yeah, but that means the falls are just up ahead. 
[?]
Ranger Smith: Hold on!
[?]
Boo Boo: Yogi. Yogi.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Now who says there are no rides at Jellystone?
Rachel: Yeah, you've definitely got the thrill part down.
[?]
Announcer: Please, take your seats. The press conference is about to begin.
[?]
Ranger Smith: That's over a mile away. We're never gonna make that in time. 
[?]
Ranger Smith: Ranger Jones?
Ranger Jones: I messed up pretty bad, sir.
Ranger Smith: I know. It's okay.
Ranger Jones: I wanted to be head ranger. Because you're a good head ranger and I value leadership. I have a merit badge...
Ranger Smith: Can we talk later? We're pressed for time.
Ranger Jones: Yes. Get in.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Boo Boo! Boo Boo! Wait up!
[?]
Ranger Smith: Well, well. Guess who we found.
Yogi Bear: Starts with T and ends with a..."Urtle"?
Ranger Smith: It's over. Call off the logging. The law says this park is now a protected nature preserve.
Mayor Brown: You think I care about what the law says? Or about some endangered "frog-mouthed turtle"? Or some stupid park for families to have a picnic in? I care about power, you pinheads! And I'm gonna get it. Nobody knows this turtle exists. And nobody ever will.
[?]
Chief of Staff: You found the turtle.
Mayor Brown: Get this thing out of here before anybody else sees it.
[?]
Ranger Smith: Rachel!
Rachel: Oh! Yogi!
Boo Boo: Yogi, here!
[?]
Chief of Staff: Thank you.
Ranger Smith: Yogi.
Yogi Bear: I'm sorry. He was open.
Chief of Staff: Ha, ha.
Mayor Brown: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a press conference.
Ranger Smith: I can still tell them what you did.
Mayor Brown: Oh, yeah? Without that turtle or a scrap of evidence, go right ahead. Well, you might as well tell them Bigfoot is here. Ha-ha-ha. And do yourself a favor, there, ranger. Try to keep your dignity. It's all you have left.
[?]
Chief of Staff: You know what? I'm taking care of this thing myself this time. That's the only way to make sure the job is done right. But that's why I'm the mayor's right-hand man, right? Because I don't make mistakes.
[?]
Mayor Brown: Hey, you know, people are wondering: "Why should I vote for Mayor Brown to be governor?" Well, how about this: Mayor Brown just turned the city's budget from a deficit into a surplus! And put $1000 into the pocket of every citizen of this city! Now before I sign the paperwork that will save the city, why don't you all take a look at my first campaign ad for governor?
[The campaign ad starts up on the screen.]
Announcer: Mayor Brown, the right choice for governor.
[On the group...]
Ranger Smith: We're out of time. Must be something we can do. Anybody have any ideas?
Boo Boo: Well, I guess this is going to be a pretty sad documentary, huh?
Ranger Smith: Are you...? Is he still filming?
Rachel: I needed more footage, so I told him to keep it rolling.
Ranger Smith: I can plug that into the video feed right up there. I just need a way to distract the guards.
Yogi Bear: I think we can take care of that.
[As the campaign ad plays…]
Announcer: He supports public safety.
[In the video, we see Brown working with the firefighters.]
Mayor Brown: (on video) All right, hurry up, people. Focus. Let's go save those orphans.
[Backstage, Yogi and Boo Boo dance to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.”]
Yogi Bear: Hey, hey, hey, check this out! Kick it, Boo Boo.
Boo Boo: Kicking it.
[On the campaign ad…]
Announcer: He's tough on crime.
[The video shows Mayor Brown fighting off a robber. Meanwhile, Yogi juggles Boo Boo with his feet like a circus bear.]
Yogi Bear: Hey, hey, hey, look at this. Keep your eye on the little bear. Look at the skills. Amazing!
[Smith sneaks past the guards and reaches the computer.]
Announcer: And here's what Mayor Brown proudly has to say about protecting our natural resources.
[Smith plugs the confession to the big screen.]
Mayor Brown: (recording) You think I care about what the law says? Or about some endangered "frog-mouthed turtle"? Some stupid park for families to picnic in?
[The Mayor and his Chief of Staff make shocked faces.]
Mayor Brown: No. No.
Mayor Brown: (recording) No. I care about power, you pinheads!
Mayor Brown: Oh, boy.
[The crowd gets angry and begins to riot.]
Mayor Brown: (recording) Nobody knows this turtle exists. And nobody ever will.
[The Chief of Staff runs over to the guards.]
Chief of Staff: There's about to be a riot out there. I need you out front.
[The guards run to the scene.]
Mayor Brown: Okay. No. Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Please, please, please. That was not real. Trust me, there is no such thing as a frog-mouthed turtle. 
[The turtle's frog-like tongue plunges onto the Mayor, who is nervous and shocked.]
Mayor Brown: He's right next to me, isn't he? Okay.
[The group celebrates backstage.]
Boo Boo: We did it, Yogi!
Yogi Bear: Up high, Boo Boo! All right!
Ranger Jones: We got it! Yogi! All right, and now...
Yogi Bear: Miss Moviemaker Lady.
Ranger Smith: Hey, we did it.
Yogi Bear: Hey, Mr. Ranger!
Rachel: Come on, Boo Boo.
Boo Boo: Okay.
Ranger Smith: I was wrong, Yogi. I say from here on, we just be proud of who we are... and fight for the things we're passionate about, like this park. And Rachel.
Yogi Bear: And pic-a-nic baskets?
Ranger Smith: And pic-a-nic baskets.
Yogi Bear: Aw, come here!
Ranger Smith: No, you don't have to... (Yogi hugs him) Okay. All right, that's... I'm good.
Rachel: Here you go, Boo Boo. Take good care of him.
Boo Boo: Hey, there, buddy.
[Mayor Brown is being interviewed while he’s arrested.]
Mayor Brown: No, no, no, I never took a kickback on anything in my entire career. No one loves turtles more than I do. And nature in general. I love trees.
[His Chief of Staff sneaks off, but Rachel notices.]
Rachel: Oh, no, you don't!
[She leaps onto the man, stopping him from escaping.]
Chief of Staff: Gorilla?
Rachel: Himalayan snow leopard.
Chief of Staff: Huh.
[Cut to the next day, we see people entering Jellystone Park.]
Ranger Jones: Welcome to Jellystone, home of the frog-mouthed turtle. And brochures. I'm Ranger Jones.
Narrator: Ah, yes, Jellystone Park. A wonderful little piece of paradise. Where families come and soak up the tranquility of nature. It's a place that... 
[Suddenly, some bushes rustle.]
Narrator: Huh? 
[Each of the picnic tables get dragged away by each rope attached to them.]
Narrator: Never mind.
[?]
Parkgoer: Hey, hey, hey!
[?]
Ranger Smith: Hi. Welcome. Well, I am certainly glad that you are gonna be staying in Jellystone for a while. And what animal will you be observing?
Rachel: Well, I thought I would observe the courting rituals of... the American ranger.
Ranger Smith: I happen to hear the American ranger is a very charming... intelligent, attractive species. One that always keeps his cool.
Rachel: Even when basket-stealing bears push his buttons?
Ranger Smith: Listen, Yogi will be Yogi. And I'm just not gonna let it bother me anymore. Besides... I have more important things to focus on. 
[?]
Ranger Smith: Oh... I...
Rachel: Let's... Let's try that again.
[?]
Yogi Bear: Afternoon, Mr. Ranger, sir!
Boo Boo: Hi, Miss Movie Lady!
[?]
Ranger Smith: YOOOOOGGIIII!
[He runs after Yogi and Boo Boo.]
Rachel: I love this place.
[She follows Smith as the two chase after the bears.]
Ranger Smith: Yogi! Hey!
[The film fades to black. Roll credits.]
Category:Transcripts
Category:Yogi Bear (2010)
Category:Warner Bros. Transcripts