BoTH Chpt 11

==Blood on the Horizon - Chapter 11 -==
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===Fatigue of Traveling Alone===
"It'd be so easy," the voice whispered in my ear. "It's not like you don't have the means to do it."
 
I considered the weapon in my lap, considering the words spoken. 
 
"Just a gentle squeeze, and then you would feel the sweet release. Don't you want to return to those who you love?"
 
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly as I set my old handgun to the side. 
 
A tear trickled down my face as I stood up and turned to move. Action, it seemed was my only path forward. 
 
"They can't touch me if I'm working," I muttered, obsessively going over every single component of the bridge instruments. "Stay busy and they'll leave me alone."
 
Screwdriver and small instruments kit in hand, I dismantled the panels before putting them back together, focusing everything on moving away from the demons that were haunting me. 
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===The lonely journey among dead worlds===
{{"Scenario one cleared, beginning the transition into scenario two,"}} Betty informed me as the screen went black; the simulator loading the next one. 
 
"Oh, fuck me," I breathed as the blur of Terra was 'below' the feet of my mech. "
 
>>"All units, prepare to secure drop zones,"<< a voice in Russian-accented English came through my speakers. >>"Those of you alive in orbit, try to make your way down and join us, if you are unable to, then await pickup after the battle has been completed."<<
 
My Warhammer spun in a lazy circle as the simulators fed me information via the sensors. 
 
{{"Enemy fighter detected, enemy fighter detected,"}} Betty's voice drew me out of the sense of wonder that had filled me. 
 
"Options," I scanned the instruments available to me. "I can't maneuver in space, and I'm not in a drop pod."
 
Snapping my fingers, I flipped the arming switch and triggered my SRMs in a staggered pattern, changing the spin cycle and allowing me to face the ASF that were about to close in. 
 
Relying on the scanners, I gently squeezed off both PPCs, the twin arcs of lightning missing the fighter completely as an AC/20 round shattered my armor and sent me spinning off further away from the planet below. 
 
Keeping my breathing steady, I started sending out handshake protocols, trying to see if there were any friendlies in this scenario, or if I were alone again. 
 
(("This is Spectre, looks like you're in the same boat I am,")) a deep voice responded to my comms. "((I can see you're in a 'Hammer. I'm in a Blackjack, but my targeting computer was stripped outta Rifleman, I'll link my comp to yours, and we'll see if we can survive this."))
Tapping an acknowledgment on my comms, I accepted the link before signing as I saw the amount of enemy fighters were around us. 
(("We've got a group of three moving in,")) Spectre breathed. (("Follow my lead."))
 
The sensors told me that the Blackjack's autocannon was ineffective, but I triggered what I had anyway, and was rewarded when one of the fighters burst into debris for a brief moment before a trip of PPCs and an AC/20 carved a hole into my armor and cored my engine, the screen going black aside from the view of Earth far below as it faded away. 
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===Cling to Faith to get through the Eternal Night===
Nearing the coordinates between the Taurian Concordat and Federated Suns
I prayed, I prayed like I had never done before in my life, I was close to giving up, and I didn't know if I had the strength to continue on. 
"Lord, I know that I've not always been the most faithful of servants, that I've screwed up, and that I often turn my back on your ways for the short but seemingly more pleasant path," I breathed as I considered my next words. "I've lived as if you didn't exist, and I was wrong. And now, I need you more than I've ever needed you before. I need your comfort, I need your presence. I am alone, and I don't know how much longer I can take," I sobbed, words leaving me as I wept alone and in silence. 
 
Then, a gentle warmth seemed to spread through me, and it felt as if I had been given a hug, the weight having lifted off of my shoulders. 
 
I had once heard it said that religion was a crutch, and while they meant my faith specifically, they were also referencing every religion that had existed. They had said that any such faith was only for those too weak to live life on their own. 
 
Well, they were right. I needed a crutch, and I could not do this on my own. And now, as I neared the end of this bit of my journey, I needed the comfort of faith more than ever before. 
 
So I wiped my tears from my eyes, blew my nose, and crawled into bed. Tomorrow would be a new day. 
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===Journal Entry with an Apology===
Journal Entry: Day 520
Well, I'm about to find out what those coordinates had at them. Seems that whatever it is, the Star League really wanted it hidden away from everyone.I'm… sorry that I wasn't able to keep this more up to date, there are a few stretches of time that I don't actually remember, gaps in my memory where I think I went crazy.Ha! If my computer hadn't been keeping track of the days for me, I wouldn't have even known what year it is right now.Anyway, when I hopefully look back and am able to read this, I hope I'm in a better place. It got pretty dark here for a whileJust remember to keep hope alive. Even when it seems lost, Faith, Hope, and Love are important to staying alive. Don't let them go, or you'll find yourself on a path that leads to destruction.I'll update this journal when I've made the transition to the next jump point. Guess I'll write some more down then.
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Chapter 11