Allon Writes Something

Mee learns an important message.
== Transcript ==
(cut to Allon seated at "Allon's Box" writing a Valentines Day card)
ALLON: (reading out loud as he writes) Dear PinkFrosting88, Happy Saint Valentines Day, and a Happy New Year. With love, from your secret admirerer...
(extreme closeup of card as Allon adds an extra "er" to the word "Admirerer")
ALLON: ... rer.
(cut back to Allon)
ALLON: Yeah.
(Meelord enters)
MEE: Hey dipshit, what are you writing there? Some kind of suicide note?
ALLON: Actually, it's a Valentine's Day card.
MEE: Valentine's Day? Pshhh!
(Mee spits some blood onto Allon's face)
MEE: Valentine's GAY! You'd never catch me involved with any of that bull crap. Not in a million, billion, thrillion, zillion years!
(Meelord is handed a Valentine's Day card by Telegram Guy)
TELEGRAM GUY: Valentine's Day card for Mee Marone!
(canned laughter is heard)
MEE: What the?! That was unexpected. Let me see that!
(Words appear on a pink card as Tahoma's voice is heard)
TAHOMA: To the loving love of my loving life, Meelord,
(The word "Meelord" appears in brackets on the card)
TAHOMA: Having a very loving Valentine's Day,
("Valentine's" is replaced with "Lovingtine's" on the card)
TAHOMA: Love from your loving lover, Tahoma. P.S. Love.
(cut back to Allon)
ALLON: Oh, that's pretty nice.
MEE: Yeah well, good thing she's away on some business trip right now, because if I actually heard Tahoma say that out loud, I probably would have thrown up all over her.
(cut to Allon, Meelord and the ghost of the Kidnapper, who is listening in on the conversation)
MEE: And I know from experience she's not into that kind of thing.
KIDNAPPER: Oooooooo!
(Pause as Allon and Meelord stare at him)
KIDNAPPER: Ooo, I'm a ghost!
MEE: Uh, OK.
KIDNAPPER: I am the ghost of Valentine's Day past! Ooo!
ALLON: No you're not, you're that kidnapping guy. And I'm pretty sure you didn't even die on Valentine's Day, so why are you-
KIDNAPPER: OK, you know what? Why don't you go fuck yourself? OK? Anyway, I am here to show you what life would be like if you opened that Valentine's card. Ooo!
MEE: Uh yeah, I already did that.
KIDNAPPER: Oh, really? Well, uh, did you read it?
MEE: Yeah.
KIDNAPPER: Well... well in that case, do you want to see what life would be like if you hadn't have read it?
MEE: No, but I'd like to see what life would be like if you shut the fuck up!
KIDNAPPER: Fine, be that way. Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and it wasn't me, because ghosts don't have beds.
ALLON: Well then, where do you sleep?
KIDNAPPER: Uh, I sleep standing up. Beeeuu!
(Kidnapper descends to the floor and disappears)
ALLON: Well Meelord, it looks like you learned an important lesson about V.D.
MEE: That's right Alvin, I learned-
(Kidnapper enters again)
KIDNAPPER: Uh, hey guys, sorry to interrupt again, but, did I leave my wallet here? I can't find it anywhere back at my ghost apartment.
ALLON: No, I don't see it.
MEE: Nope, sorry dude, it's not here.
KIDNAPPER: Oh, OK. Well, thanks anyway. Beeeuu!
(Kidnapper once again descends to the floor and disappears)
(Meelord holds up a wallet)
MEE: I totally took his wallet.
("pop" to "the end" screen)
== Fun Facts ==
* The Desk Allon is writing on says "Allon's Box"
== References ==
* In the episode Serious Tingling, the Kidnapper puts a gun in his mouth and fires as an alternative to shooting Allon. This episode confirms that he is in fact dead, but has come back as a ghost.
* The Kidnapper claims to be the Ghost of Valentine's Day Past, an obvious reference to the Ghost of Christmas Past from the novel A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.
__NOTOC__
__NOEDITSECTION__