Patrick I Swear To God

Patrick I Swear To God is the series premiere of Just Another SpongeBob Spin Off, Nothing To See Here.
== Plot ==
Patrick destroys SpongeBob’s house to make a pizza.
=== Transcript ===
(The episode begins with Patrick sitting in his living room watching TV in the dark.)
Fred (on TV, offscreen) Today, we’ll be making my signature favourite; Gigantic Hawaiian Pizza! Firstly, we-
(The sound of a bone being broken is heard.)
Fred: MY LEG! SON OF A BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE A COCK ON A FISHSTICK!
(An unlit lightbulb appears above Patrick’s head.)
Patrick: Hmmmm………
(The lightbulb turns itself on.)
Patrick: Ah ha! I’ve got the best idea in the world!
(The lightbulb explodes, covering Patrick in glass shards.)
Patrick: Ow.
(We bubble transition to Mr Krabs’ house. Patrick is outside, wearing a burglar’s outfit. He looks around to check that no one’s looking, before climbing into Mr Krabs’ kitchen through the window.)
Patrick: Hmmmmmm…now where’s the giant pizza dough?
(He wanders around the kitchen for a few seconds, before realising that one of the cupboards is bigger than the rest. He opens it, and lo and behold, a whole jar full of giant pizza dough. He then grabs it and makes a ‘swift’ escape, if you know what I mean.)
Patrick: Okay! I’ve got one of the ingredients, and I’ve already got the giant marinara back home. Now I need the toppings…
(We bubble transition again to Squidward’s house, where Patrick is raiding the kitchen for toppings. He finds peppers, lemons, onions, an empty Meal For Lonely Squids box, a bajillion bars of soap and the kitchen sink. He then mixes them together and, contrary to what the ingredients for the topping are, makes…………giant garlic sauce?)
Patrick: Whoops! I guess that can be the filling for the stuffed crust!
(He notices a big pineapple near Squidward’s house.)
Patrick: Hmmmm…
(We bubble transition again to Patrick putting the pizza in a big oven.)
Patrick: And now we wait…
(3 Hours Later)
Patrick: It’s ready!
(We bubble transition, for the final time, to Patrick and SpongeBob enjoying the pizza.)
SpongeBob: This Hawaiian is absolutely incredible! How did you make this?
Patrick: Some idiot left a 40 feet pineapple lying around. 
(A long pause.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, I swear TO GOD-
(The sound of SpongeBob shooting Patrick can be heard as the episode ends.)
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