Transcripts 2004-01

Transcripts from January 2004 strips.
==January 2==
Panel 1Anne and Richard are in the bedroom, Anne only partly dressed and Richard topless. Both have very ruffled fur and look roughed up.Anne: The bathroom light is too bright for my head ,so I can't use the mirror. So how do I look?Richard: Do you want the truth or a blatant lie?Panel 2Anne crosses her arms and squints slightly at Richard.Anne: Humm, I don't know. Would you want to have sex any time this week?Richard: Mmm.. Probably.Anne: Well I'd go with the lie then.Richard: In that case you don't look like you slept in a puddle of your own sick all night!
==January 5==
Panel 1Anne grabs Richard's shoulder with a smiling angry look on her face and winds back as though to punch him. Richard preemptively recoils, also grinning.Anne: "I don't look like I've slept in my own sick" AND?Richard: And you look as beautiful and radiant as ever! Please don't hit me! I bruise easily!Panel 2Anne turns slightly and grabs her face, covering her eyes. Richard hunches over slightly with a look of exasperation.Anne: That's better! Now stop talking as you're giving me a headache!Richard: I think you'll find that it's the vast amounts of alcohol you drank last night causing that!Anne: No, it's defiantly you! Shut up!
==January 9==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Black and white comic (really, line art with only minimal colour). Al has a slightly red, runny nose and a tissue in his hand, his arms crossed on the table.Al: Due to the fact that I have a rotten cold, and the fact I hate you, I don't have the will power to do the secluded SSDD strip today. Eat some filler!Panel 2Blagrub the elf has a brainless, cross-eyed happy expression as he (badly) wields a short sword.Caption: Long ago, Blagrub the elf was sent on a quest to find the mystical wonderbra of Handypants and defeat the evil lord Sheenika.Panel 3Silhouette of Blagrub running across a plain toward a large, looming shape.Blagrub: WEEE!Caption: Blagrub began his long journey by travelling through the Forest of Over Menacing Name where he was buggered to death by a horny bear. THE END
==January 12==
Panel 1Norman is wincing in pain, resting his face on his crossed arms on the back of the couch. Richard, sitting in the couch, glances sideways at him with a concerned look.Richard: What the hell happened last night? I thought we all agreed to take it easy this year. We always over do it and regret it new years day!Norman: That plan went to shit when those strangers started buying everyone drinks! Weird fuckers! One of them even asked for my autograph...Panel 2Exterior of the Inglorious, in space.Crew 1 (off-panel): WHAT! You're lying! The First Advisor NEVER gives out autographs! Hell he won't sign ANYTHING!Crew 2 (off-panel): Well he USED too! Go ask Stubbs and Davidson! They saw him sign this beer mat! It's real!Panel 3Inside the "B Quarters" cabin on the Inglorious. An orange feline crew member is glaring at a yellow lago crew member, who is pointing at the feline with an astonished expression. There are hints of living space in the background, with a locker? to one side, wired machinery on the other, and a thick overhead pipe on the ceiling.Lago: COOL! Wanna swap it for Lee Harvey Oswald's rifle and some cutlery off the Titanic?Feline: You call that an offer? The only thing I want is the Holy Grail... and Anderson wants this AND my Pink Floyd collection for that!
==January 16==
Panel 1Norman is shaking his raised fist in anger against a radial gradient yellow-to-red background.Norman: We are at risk of losing our freedom of speech on the net! It's all fine and good to say what you like while your site isn't popular, they are happy to take your money then! But as soon as you start to reach out, some spineless dick will pull the plug!Panel 2Kingston, sitting on the couch, glances up at Norman with a tired, exasperated look. Norman angrily points a finger at him.Kingston: Er, I don't think a site with a horrid image of a guy stretching out his anus that's linked to by immature jerks, counts as free speech mate!Norman: Shut up, fascist!
==January 19==
Single PanelA Jehovah's Witness blocks the sun by holding a hand over his eyes in order to see in a window. Norman's open hand sticks out of a higher window, a bowling ball just slightly below Norman's hand and directly above the JW's head.Caption: HUNTING MADE EASYThis week: Jehovah's Witnesses that peep through the window when you don't answer the door.
==January 23==
Panel 1Richard has a hand on the back of the couch and is angrily yelling at Kingston, who is sitting on the couch and inhaling from a hookah.Richard: Where's my bloody money Kingston? You owe me three months back rent!Panel 2The camera rotates 90 degrees to a side view of the (top of the) couch. Richard still has a hold on the couch and a scowl on his face as Kingston hands him the mouthpiece.Kingston: Yeah, sure! Wanna toke while I go and get it?Panel 3Same as panel 1 but panned down, as Richard is on the floor with bloodshot eyes, inhaling the fumes from the mouthpiece, and Kingston is giving him a smug look.Caption: A LITTLE LATER...Richard: What was I saying again? I've forgotten!Kingston: That you were letting me off three months rent?Richard: Um, na! I'm pretty sure I ain't that stoned yet!
==January 26==
HeaderCrude handwriting.TREES By Richard Edwards ©20034Panel 1A lineart scribble of a crude fox (a self-portrait?) shouting, wide-eyed, at a fir.Fox: TREE!Panel 2The fox leaps down at a small round tree.Fox: TREE!Panel 3The fox raises his hands as though praising the large tree behind him.Fox: TREE!Panel 4Richard is cackling and drawing wildly on a sheet of paper, using a book as a drawing surface. Kingston kneels down behind him with a disgusted look. The hookah sits just behind Richard.Kingston: Ookay! Give me my hookah back. I think you've had enough!Richard: HA, HA, HA! TREE! HA, HA! TREE!
==January 30==
Single PanelRichard and Kingston are behind the couch. Richard is peeking over the top of the couch and staring at the television as he clutches the back of the couch. Only the top of Kingston's hat is visible. A waste bin full of empty cans is next to the couch.Richard: What are they? Why are they here? WHAT DO THEY WANT?!?Kingston: I dunno mate, but get your fucking head down! They'll see you!Broadcast: BOOOOHBAH!Caption: Be afraid:www.boohbah.tv
Category:Navigation