I'd Shoot Myself (unreleased)

"I'd Shoot Myself" is a parody of The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself". As yet, there are no plans to record it.
==Lyrics==
I loved you once
Now that feeling's long dead
And I need you back
Like a kick to the head
I wanted then,
To take you as my wife.
But I now realize
I'd sooner take my own life.
I would take anybody else.
But if I was still with you, 
I'd shoot myself.
I would take anybody else.
Like her, or her, or her.
You filthy slut, you've had more viruses
than Bill Gates at Microsoft.
If you were back, it would make more sense.
To just blow my head off.
Wish you were drowned
in that New Orleans flood
I would be thrilled
If you tasted your own blood.
I'd feel great if 
you met one criteria;
you'd be attacked by a
flesh-eating bacteria
I would take anybody else.
But if I was still with you, 
I'd shoot myself.
I would take anybody else.
Like her, or her, or even him.
You might conclude
that I am just bitter
because I wish for
a semi to hit her.
Say what you will
about my intentions,
but she's the one who belongs
at the skank whore convention.
I would take anybody else.
But if I was still with you, 
I'd shoot myself.
I would take anybody else.
Like her, or him, or that.
(What the hell is that anyway? Looks like a Hefty bag filled with cottage cheese!)
I...I...I...
I would take anybody else.
But if I was still with you, 
I'd shoot myself.
I would take anybody else.
But if I was still with you, 
I'd shoot myself.
I'd shoot myself. (repeated until fade out)
Category:Parodies