Pure Chaos

Pure Chaos is the thirty-sixth episode of SBFW Quest. It will aired on March 11, 2020, and is written by FireMatch.
==Transcript==
(At the Fandom building)
Member 6: Hey guys I'm new. What's up?
Member 4: This guy’s a weird one.
Member 5: Not as weird as my ex-wife. Heh.
Member 1: Guys, guys, let's get down to business. We have a problem. Our tap is leaking.
Member 2: I thought this was the Middle Ages.
Member 1: When you get bored, you invent new stuff.
Member 4: I invented the vegetable peeler.
Jasbre: We need to find a way to stop those guys from finding out who I work for.
Member 1: Sorry, did we ask?
Member 2: I thought you already told us about that already.
Jasbre: My memory is like a duck. Very short-term. But I can still hold long ass grudges.
Member 3: We all do. It's part of being Fandom. I think.
Jasbre: I suggest we summon an assassin.
Member 2: Oh no, no, no… well maybe.
(Cut to the gang in the woods)
Matchy: Now that we got our first clue, let's set off to find Jasbre.
Purple: I don't think just one clue will set us on our way.
Dan: Yeah, we need… a sex toy.
Purple: Dan! That's not what I meant!
Dan: Oh.
Crazy: Can we stop talking about sex?
Dan: Fine. You're not sexy though.
Crazy: Hey!
Matchy: Guys, we need to focus.
(Suddenly, they see a shadow in the distance)
Purple: What was that?
Matchy: I haven’t seen a shadow all day. Might wanna check it out.
(An explosion happens in the distance)
Matchy: On second thought… 
Crazy: Ooh, an explosion.
Purple: Matchy, we should investigate.
Matchy: Okay, fine. But I’m blaming you if this all goes wrong.
???: FBI OPEN UP!
Crazy: Hey idiot, the FBI doesn’t even exist yet.
???: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Matchy: What the hell?
???: I WAS SENT TO ASSASSINA-
??? 2: Hey, you’re not supposed to say what you’re supposed to be doing.
???: Oh. I FAILED CHEMISTRY CLASS!
Matchy: Good to hear!
??? 2: You’re fired.
???: oh.
Matchy: I think they’re trying to assassinate us, guys.
Crazy: That’s Crazy.
Matchy: You’re Crazy.
Crazy: o.
(Back at the Fandom building)
Member 3: Well that was awful. How are we gonna take them down after that incident?
Member 5: I think I have an idea.
(Back to the gang)
Squidnerd: Do you guys even remember my existence?
Crazy: Huh? Who dat?
Squidnerd: Me, you dumbass!
Crazy: o. I completely forgot you guys were following us.
Polar: You guys remember us, right?
Matchy: Yeah, sure we do. But I forgot about you.
Squidnerd: That’s it, I’m out.
Polar: Me too.
(the old Fanonland members leave)
Matchy: Looks like it’s just the four of us now.
Purple: Let’s keep moving.
(Two unknown Fandom members put on a disguise that looks like a raccoon)
Member 3: Why does the costume have to be so small?
Member 5: Because raccoons are small, idiot.
Member 3: Oh.
(The “raccoon” jumps out at the gang, frightening them)
Crazy: Stay back!
Matchy: Hello there, do you need help?
(The “raccoon” moves towards the gang)
Purple: I don’t have a good feeling about this.
Dan: He’s probably just wanting some food. I’ll give him my leftover bread.
Matchy: I hate leftovers.
(Dan gives the “raccoon” his leftover bread)
Raccoon: Thanks, hehehe…
Dan: I didn't know this one could talk.
Matchy: That's not-
(The “raccoon” reveals itself)
Member 3 and 5: Surprise motherfucka!
Dan: D’OH!
(Member 3 attempts to knock Dan out, but Dan kicks him in the crotch just in time)
Member 3: That smarts.
(Member 5 attempts to hit Dan with a club, but he ends up hitting himself instead)
Dan: You guys are stupid. Fandom is stupid in general.
Matchy: Hey, you can't say that!
Dan: I don't care what I say. As long as I-
(Member 3 tries to yet again knock Dan out, but Dan’s reflexes stop him in time)
Member 3: Dammit!
Member 5: Come on. Let's just go.
(The two Fandom members awkwardly leave the scene, leaving the costume behind)
Dan: Cool, free fur!
(Meanwhile, NotJoe is sitting on a bench)
NotJoe: What can I do? I'm banished for basically forever.
(A bird flies by)
NotJoe: If I had a slingshot or something I could kill that thing.
(One hour later…)
NotJoe: I made a makeshift slingshot out of driftwood and my clothes. Now where is that bird?
(He sees the bird in a nest)
NotJoe: Gotcha, bitch! (He uses the slingshot, and completely misses, and the rock he used lands up on Cici’s head)
Cici: Hey! Who did that?
NotJoe: Oops…
(After a moment, NotJoe notices a Ween album on the ground)
NotJoe: I've heard a lot about Ween. I'll take a listen. Wait a minute.
(120 minutes later…)
NotJoe: With enough string you can do anything.
(He starts listening to the Ween album, and his ears start hurting)
NotJoe: OW! (He takes off his makeshift record player) I just lost 10 years of my life right there… not like I was gonna live that long anyway.
(End)
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:2020
Category:2020 Episodes
Category:2020 Transcripts
Category:Episodes written by FireMatch
Category:SBFW Quest
Category:2020s