Bubble Boy/Transcript

Hi.
My name's Jimmy Livingston.
My mom says when I was born,
I came gift-wrapped from heaven.
Aaah!
Whoa! Whoa! Huh.
Well, I guess this is growing up
My first memories are kind of hazy.
All I remember is a place
with white walls,
bright lights, and a gigantic bird.
I was there because I was
born with no immunities.
A single germ could kill me.
But when I was 4,
my mom took me home...
To beautiful Palmdale, California.
Mom helped me make
friends right away.
Let's go.
Get him in!
Our house was enormous
like a castle,
and for the first time,
I felt completely free.
There.
Now you're safe
from that evil, filthy world.
You're home, Jimmy!
And you'll never, ever,
ever have to go out there again.
Look at that.
Look what mommy made for Jimmy.
I had a big room with my own bed,
lots of toys,
and two pairs of retractable arms.
"And the prince climbed
"to the top of
the tower and said,
'come with me
and we'll live
happily ever after.'
"then Rapunzel
left her plastic bubble
and died."
The end.
Those evil doctors.
Nobody's gonna get any germs
on my little boy now.
You'll always stay pure.
Won't you, Jimmy?
Jimmy!
Breakfastie!
I had my reading.
I wish they had more
than one magazine
in the world, mom.
So do I, dear.
My favorite TV show,
Land of the Lost.
I wish TVs had more
than one channel, mom.
So do I, dear.
And I had the best teacher
in the whole, wide world.
And then the Indians
decided to move
to the reservations
where they could open casinos
and sell tax-free cigarettes
and stay out of
the white man's way.
Another A+.
The neighborhood kids
always wanted
to hang at my house.
Lives in a bubble,
smells like poop
Bubble boy, bubble boy
Get out of here,
you little buggers!
Go on!
But I liked to hang with my dad.
Oh, mother of shit, Morton!
Are you trying to kill
him with that thing?
Jimmy, lunchie.
Suppertime was the best.
Nothing could beat mom's
homemade, vitamin-rich,
soy-based, germ-free,
fat-free fiber cookies.
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
I grew up like any other kid.
At 16, I didn't get a car,
but I did get an electrical
rock-music guitar!
I can't believe
the things I found
I need to find my way
I'm lost, I'm lost
I do believe I'm living
in the Land
of the Lost
I'm living in the Land
living in the Land
Living in the Land
of the Lost
I was so happy.
I had everything
a boy could ever want.
Until...
Chloe.
"And then Pinocchio
"came out of his plastic bubble,
"touched the filthy
little whore next door,
and died. The end."
Ooh, baby
Ahh
Oh, yeah
Over the next few years,
I washed my window a lot.
Ahh
Oh, my
Something was happening to me.
But I didn't know what.
Mom!
What's the matter?
Mom!
Are you all right?
What is it?
Oh! Oh, my God!
Ow!
Don't touch it!
Hands off!
Now, just relax, don't get upset.
It hurts!
Just do what
I tell your father...
just say the Pledge
of Allegiance
over and over until it goes away.
Come on!
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States
of America...
And to the Republic
for which it stands,
one nation under God,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States
of America...
And to the Republic
for which it stands,
one nation under God...
Thanks, mom.
Can't touch this
can't touch this...
Dude!
You live next door
to the bubble boy.
Hey, you know what I heard?
The only thing that kid can drink
is his own urine.
Oh, yeah. True story.
I heard the same thing,
man. It's gross.
Then what did he drink
in the first place
to make the urine?
Well, it would, um...
Tell her.
Shotgun!
He's not a monster, you guys.
He's just a boy in a bubble.
I am not a monster.
I'm a human being.
Bye, Lisa.
Bye, Chloe.
I wish I was the boy
in her bubble.
Oh, yeah!
Let's hit the arcade.
Hi, Mr. Livingston?
I'm Chloe.
I live... next door.
Hyah!
Oh, my gosh!
What?
Are you okay?
What? Wait,
no, no, no. Don't...
I was... I was just playing.
I was just playing.
Mayday! You know, that.
Oh.
Ahem.
Was that Pakuni
you were speaking?
From Land of the Lost?
I love Land of the Lost.
I love you, too.
It! It, too.
I love it, too.
I'm Jimmy.
I'm...
Chloe, the whore next door.
What?
Heh heh.
Where did you hear that?
My mom.
She teaches me everything.
Well, really she got it wrong.
I'm actually more
of a bitch than a whore.
A bitch.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A bitch.
Absolutely, a bitch.
Yeah.
You play guitar?
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah!
Uh, do you wanna try it?
Oh, no, I don't know how.
I could teach you.
Right now.
I can't right now, but...
I should go.
How about tomorrow?
Oh, jeez, I don't know.
I don't know, bitch.
I got a lot to do.
See you tomorrow. Bye.
She's certainly proud
of those boobies, isn't she?
Something tells me she's not
the kind of friend
Jesus would pick, Jimmy.
When I look
All a...
round
Oh, I suck.
No, no. Come here.
No.
You have to just press harder.
Ok.
Harder. Here.
Like...
Now go. Now go.
Ok.
Harder.
When I look
All around
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic
for which it stands,
one nation under God...
Everything okay?
Yeah. Let's go.
Wouldn't it be nice
if we were older
then we wouldn't have
to wait so long
and wouldn't it be nice
to live together
in the kind of world
where we belong
you know it's gonna make it
that much better
when we can say good night...
Trick or treat!
Smell my feet!
Oh, hey!
Aah!
In the morning when
the day is new...
It's bubble Guinea.
Oh, my God!
Hi, bubble Guinea.
Jimmy!
Ow! Ah!
Stupid gutter.
Jimmy! Ah! Ouch.
Jimmy. Ahh. Hello.
Chloe?
Yeah.
Bubble boy!
What about your party?
Jimmy, you have to wish
me Happy Birthday.
What about your party?
Uhh, the party.
I'll show you a party.
Come here.
Don't be shy.
Huh?
Come here.
My mom's asleep.
Don't you wanna give me
a birthday kiss?
Chloe. Heh heh. Shh.
Shh.
Whoa! Oh, Chloe!
I hate this stupid bubble.
I got everything I
wanted for my birthday
except you, Jimmy.
That's why I'm coming in.
Chloe, wait!
Whoa, whoa.
Don't worry.
You can decontaminate me.
Hee hee hee.
What?
Relax. Have a beer.
Wait, um, wait. Chloe?
I'm not so sure that's
such a good idea.
Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Please let me in.
Oh, baby
Please?
Ahh
Um, Chloe? Uh...
I, uh...
Maybe I should have let her in,
but I was scared.
So who could really blame her
for what happened next?
Hold on.
You look beautif...
Oh, hi.
Ooh, corsage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Um, Mark, Jimmy.
Jimmy, Mark.
'Sup, Jimbo?
'Sup, M-Marko?
You ready?
Yeah. Just let me use
the bathroom, okay?
All right.
Pinch it quick.
She loves that one.
Hmm.
Cigarette?
What?
S-so Chloe tells me
you're a musician.
Well, I rock,
if that's what you mean.
Ahh, you know?
So, what are you guys
gonna do tonight?
You know, a little bit of this.
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's it, ahh.
Oh, oh!
That's it. Ohh!
Sounds like fun.
All right.
All ready.
That's how I do it on stage.
Did I tell you
how beautiful you look?
Come here.
I'm gonna be the luckiest guy at the prom.
One thing was for sure.
Mark was cool.
Bye, Jimmy.
Who could compete
with a guy like that?
Hands.
I'm sorry.
Come on, Chloe.
We've been going out for 2 years,
I want a little action.
Mark, I told you...
I wanna wait till I get married.
Hands.
I tried to warn you,
but you wouldn't listen.
All women will leave you someday.
That girl didn't love you.
She just felt sorry for you.
You really think
she'd wanna marry a boy
who couldn't even touch her?
Hey.
Hi.
Are you going somewhere?
Um, yeah.
You know Mark?
Well, we've sorta been going out
off and on for a while now
and, um...
Well, he... kind of...
Asked me to, um...
To go fishing?
No!
To go to the movies?
No!
To get married?
Yes!
The wedding's this Saturday
in Niagara Falls.
I di... I didn't know
how to tell you, Jimmy, because...
The thing is, um,
I really wanted to know
if you think he's the right one,
because it's such a big step,
you know? And...
Jimmy?
I made you something.
Take bubble Guinea pig,
'cause I don't want him anymore.
So that's it?
That's all you're going to say?
Bye, Jimmy.
Good-bye.
Can you still remember
how it seemed
that we could live forever
in a lovers' dream?
The falling was the best part
but now you know
the things you cling to
your heart can start to grow
you, you're walking away
I've been there
now I know what to say
I'm the king of yesterday
Why don't... why don't you...
...stay
- Chloe!
God... Bless America!
That nasty little slut
left just in the nick of time, Morton.
I had no idea what I was up against.
Chloe hadn't told me much.
All I knew was that
she was in New York,
which may as well been on
the other side of the galaxy,
and I only had
three days to get there.
Three days.
I just needed
the bubble suit
to last that long.
Flying high now
I'm so high now
Ooh!
Ooh! Oh, oh, oh!
Getting strong now
moving on now
Uhh!
Aah!
Grass.
Street lamp.
Oh.
Ooh.
Dog poop!
This is awesome!
I'm running!
I'm running!
Well, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up
Hello? Hello?
Hi. It's my first day
out in the world.
Um, I'd like to go
to Niagara Falls.
That'll be $260.
Plus I gotta charge you
for an additional seat
for that...
Stupid thing you're wearing.
Oh, money.
Oh. Money.
How far will this get me?
Take a step back.
That far.
Um...
The girl I love is getting married
and I have to stop the wedding.
That's fantastic.
Next!
Next in line, please.
Okay. Have a nice day.
The white zone's
for loading and unloading only.
Hey, are you all right?
Are you all right?
What is it?
Oh, he's alive!
I need to get to Niagara Falls
by Saturday to stop Chloe
from getting married.
Oh.
I'm Todd.
And I'm Lorraine.
And we can get you
to Niagara Falls.
Yeah!
Bright and shiny!
Stick him in the rear!
Bright
and shiny
Bright
and shiny
People all across the land
Come and join our happy band
Always happy, never gay
Living clean is a-ok
Bright
and shiny...
Excuse me, Todd.
and shiny
If you save yourself for God
You will get the golden rod
Give up on society
We will be your family
Bright
and shiny
Jimmy! Breakfie!
Jimmy!
The Kloobda.
The Kloobda is
the holy guide to living pure,
dictated to Gil
by a talking salamander.
But more on that later.
This will help explain.
Put it in
the decontamination bay.
Right there.
First, we prepare our souls
by stripping ourselves
of all material possessions
and sexual desires.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Kool-aid, Lorraine?
Thanks, Lorraine.
Lorraine?
Her name's Lorraine, too?
We're all Lorraine.
And you will be Todd,
a name chosen especially
for you by Gil.
What does Bill do
with all your stuff?
He's holding it for us
at the compound.
Where's the compound?
I'm not really sure.
In Texas?
Oh.
You're not a singing group,
you're a cult!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Why'd we stop?
This isn't n=Niagara Falls!
This is a desert!
Yes... yes... yes,
I-I realize
that in typical cases
you have to wait 48 hours.
But, you see,
this is not a typical case.
My son is a bubble boy.
He'll die out there!
Well, you'll certainly
be in my prayers tonight.
And I'll be praying
you get nut cancer!
All right, plan B.
Did you finish the note?
"Mr. and Mrs. Livingston,
"we have kidnapped your son.
"Pay $100,000 or he dies.
Signed, the Jews."
Are you kidding?
Are you kidding me?
Who in their right mind
is gonna believe this note?
It's the Jews, Morton!
They're gonna want
more than $100,000!
Think, man, think!
I'm havin' a bad day
I'm havin' a bad day
Get out of my way
'Cause I'm havin' a bad day
Uhh!
Havin' a bad day
Havin' a bad day
Get out of my way
'cause I'm havin' a bad day
Havin' a bad day
Get off!
Havin' a bad day
Get out of my way...
Uhh! Aah!
Have you seen my son?
Hello?
I think he's deaf.
Have you seen my boy?
Yeah, your weird-ass son
got on a bus full of, like,
happy people skipping around
all over the place,
and they headed towards Vegas.
You know, Satan's anus.
Thank you.
You filthy, fat, filthy deaf man!
Um, I heard that.
Let's move it!
I'll have you know
that I've lost two pounds.
I have my ankle weights
on right now
and it's very hot in here,
and I'm losing weight.
I've lost four pounds
in the last two months.
Havin' a bad day
Havin' a bad day
Get out of my way
'cause I'm havin' a bad day
I'm havin' a bad day
Get out of my way...
Hey!
Hey, hey!
Whoa!
What are you...
Some kind of astronaut?
No, I'm, uh,
I'm some kind of bubble boy.
How do you take a dump
in that thing?
Um, I think I could help you
with your situation here.
How's some bubble vato gonna help me?
I got patches.
Patches?
I could use some stinkin' patches.
Gil!
Gil, we love you!
Welcome, my children. Welcome.
Today will truly be a time
of spiritual illumination.
Now, can anyone guess
why we're all here?
Ooh!
Yes, Todd.
To find...
No, the other Todd.
To find out
the final incarnation
of the chosen one?
Exactly.
I can see you've been
reading your Kloobda.
The chosen one is among us!
He walks the earth.
His final incarnation will be...
A round one!
Yes, the round one.
The holy messenger trapped
in a living globe.
We must find him and release him
so that he may carry us,
only true believers,
to the kingdom of heaven.
And those who reject him
will mutate
and burn eternally
on planet PX-41.
Or PX-42...
If they run out of room.
If there are no further questions,
let's move on to the buffet.
So they kicked you out of the bus
in the middle of the desert
to die like some perro?
Yep.
Where you headed?
Niagara Falls.
I gotta get there by Saturday
to stop Chloe
from getting married
to the wrong man.
Ha ha ha ha!
Let's cut the vato, huh, ese?
I wasn't planning on
cutting the vato, no.
Somebody run off
with your old lady,
legally you're allowed
to cut him.
She wasn't technically my old lady.
I just never, um...
I just never told her how I felt.
When I was your age,
I was in love with a woman.
Debbie?
No.
Oh, Danielle.
No.
Wildfire!
Oh, Wildfire!
She looks really nice.
Yeah, but she left me
for some other vato.
You know, real buttoned-down,
"I gotta get a job"
kind of vato, you know?
To this day, ese,
I regret not finding him
and cutting his heart out
in a really violent way.
Don't be like me, ese.
Don't live in regret.
We'll be riding wildfire
We'll be riding
Wildfire
- Ohh!
I'm... I'm ok.
Look at the lights!
Now this is Las Vegas, Jimmy!
Wow!
Paris!
That's beautiful, ain't it?
And New York!
That's big New York.
This is amazing, Slim.
Ha ha ha ha!
Go faster! Go faster!
You like the wind in your hair?
Yeah.
Ha ha ha ha!
"We have the loosest sluts."
That's "slots"!
I'll show you how to
play the slot machines.
We can win some gas money
so we can get to Niagara Falls!
All right, chicas!
Chicas!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ow!
Ha ha ha!
This is amazing!
This town never goes to sleep.
We're gonna do some partying!
Whoa! Oh, no!
Wow! Oh, ho!
Ha ha ha ha! Whoo!
Jimmy!
Where are you, baby?
My baby Jimmy?
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, comin' through.
Excuse us.
Excuse us.
Come on, talk to me, babies.
Lookin' good!
Yes, all right.
Slim?
Yeah.
What's it like?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I could tell you what it was
like with me and Wildfire.
1200 ccs of American steel
vibrating between your legs.
Oh, man.
I'm talking fourth gear.
4,000 RPMs! Ay!
Ha ha ha ha!
That sounds amazing!
Ha ha!
Hey, hors d'oeuvres?
Oh, no, thanks.
I got my own.
Ok.
Last one.
You go for it!
Oh, no. I couldn't.
Go on.
You want to win the money
for our trip, don't you?
But what if I lose again?
You didn't get out
of that bubble room
to play it safe, did you?
You're right.
Go for it.
Oh!
I'm tapped out.
I'm gonna go steal some
quarters from that blind lady.
Slim, I don't think...
Wait here! No! Hey!
Wait! No, slim!
I only have two days left!
It's gonna awesome!
I only have two days left!
Bow-wow ba-ba-ba bow-wow
ba-ba-ba-ba
bow-wow ba-ba-ba bow-wow
ba-ba-ba-ba
bow-wow ba-ba-ba bow
rrrow-wow ba-ba-ba bow-wow
ba-ba-ba-ba
I didn't like leaving Slim
without saying good-bye,
but I knew the
vato would understand.
The wedding was two days away,
and I only had 12 ccs
of American steel
to get me there.
Don't think I can't see you
gawking at those neon boobies.
Just keep your eye
on the road, mister.
Hey, have you seen
my little buddy?
He's got, like, frizzy hair,
and he's...
he's in a bubble.
Hey, what's up?
Uhh!
Have you seen this
little bubble guy, ma'am?
I didn't mean it.
Excuse. Hola.
We're a bit lost.
Could you tell us the way to...
Niagara Falls?
I beg your pardon?
Yeah. 'Cause that's where
my little buddy was headed
when you left him
in the desert to die!
Come back!
You bright and shinies...
come back and get shiny
on my knife, huh?
Hey. Hey. Hey! Hey!
Aah!
This looks like Area 51.
Holy mother of shit, Morton!
What is that?
A space creature? An alien?
Oh, my God! Jimmy!
Bow-wow ba-ba-ba bow-wow
ba-ba-ba-ba
Jimmy!
Stop the car!
Jimmy!
Aah!
Aah!
Uhh!
Aah!
I wasn't quite sure
just how I'd gotten on board,
but I'd always dreamed
of riding a train.
Thank goodness
the worst was behind me...
Or so I thought.
Look, he's awake.
What are we going to do?
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Shh!
Dr. Phreak is gonna hear you!
He's gonna hear you!
What?
You gotta hide!
Um...
Wh... what did you say?
He said be quiet or the
doctor will hear you. Shh!
Who are you?
They call me the human sasquatch.
What's your real name?
Um...
Clark?
So what's your deal?
Why are you in a bubble?
To protect me from germs.
I was born
without any immunities,
so even a single one
could kill me.
But your doctor
would know all about that.
Be quiet!
He's not your average doctor.
He's Dr. Phreak.
We're all a part of his
new traveling phreak show.
He owns us.
Owns you?!
Shh!
If he find out you're in this
train, he'll own you, too.
Oh, look! Oh, now
you did it, bubble butt.
Here he comes!
Run for your life! Run!
He's a vicious brute.
You're Dr. Phreak?
Ha ha ha ha!
You're so mini! Ha ha ha!
Mini? Oh, no!
No!
Me, mini?!
I'm not mini!
I'm not mini!
Not! Not! Not!
I'm not mini!
Who the hell are you?
He's the bubble boy.
Shut your beak!
What are you doing
out of your coop?
I shut up.
You know, I could use
some fresh meat in my show.
Why don't you hop
your little bubble butt
back on that train?
Uh, thanks, but, um...
I gotta get to
Niagara Falls by Saturday
to stop Chloe
from getting married.
That's so, so beautiful.
I, too, once loved another.
Yeah?
For ten minutes.
Then I kicked her ass
out of the car.
Okay. Well, I gotta get going.
Going?!
Oh!
Oh!
What are you gonna do?
You're a freak, and I should know.
No decent girl's gonna want
to marry a bubble freak.
Once you get that through
your thick, freaky skull,
then give me a call.
What's wrong with
being a freak?! Uhh!
Aah!
Oh!
Oh!
That hurt!
Doctor?
Is he okay?
He looks so
sweet when he's not yelling.
You've killed him.
What are we going to do?
Whoa!
Good luck! Bye!
Uhh!
Heads up, bubble!
Okay. Bye!
Get your own bags! What do
you think I am... bellhop?
Hey, where are you guys going?
We're going with you, Dr. Bubble.
We're going with you.
Dr. Bubble? No, no!
No. I...
you guys are free.
You can do whatever you want now.
Oh, we're free!
Free as a bird!
On to Niagara Falls!
On to Niagara Falls!
All the way!
Oh, I love it!
Look, you guys. Uh...
I gotta do this alone.
Oh, yeah.
Bye!
It sure was nice
of the train man
to loan me his vehicle,
but if I was ever gonna make it
to the wedding on time,
I was gonna have to find
something with a motor.
Oh, my God!
He ain't eating meat!
Can you all believe it?
It's tofu!
Tofu!
Could anybody give me a ride?
Tofu gives me such gas!
Bloody red meat!
Rare! Rare American meat!
You know, that's... that's
the stupidest looking hat
I've ever seen.
It's adorable!
It's adorable!
Hey!
Hey!
Stop picking on him.
Oh!
Oh!
I don't want any trouble.
I'm just...
Really?
Sissy beach ball!
Why are you in that bubble, boy?
Huh?
Well, um, because I was born
without any immunities, and I...
Immunities?! What
the hell are immunities?!
Well, I ain't sticking
around to find out!
Me neither.
What?
Everybody out!
He's got immunities!
No, no, no, no!
He's contagious!
I don't have any immunities!
Don't try to change
your story now, boy!
I don't have germs!
I'm not contagious!
I just need a ride!
I need a ride!
I hereby declare
this place quarantined!
I don't have germs!
I don't...
Oh! Ohh!
What's going on, sheriff?
Guys, I think
your building's on fire.
Carl Peterson's best pig just died!
It's spreading!
It's spreading!
Burn, baby, burn
Disco inferno
Burn, baby, burn
Burn that mother down, y'all
Burn, baby, burn
Disco inferno
Burn, baby, burn
Whoo! Just like Calcutta
in the summer!
Come! Follow me!
Come on!
Whoa!
I don't think I'm in!
Stop messing about!
This whole town is going to blow!
Ha ha ha ha! Boy, howdy!
Now, that's a good fire!
Heh heh heh!
Uh-oh.
Disco inferno, yeah
Burn, baby, burn
Burn the mother down
Burn, baby, burn
Ice cream! Ice cream!
Curry!
Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
Watch out for the feet.
I told you.
I told you before.
Look out!
Coming through!
I'm on the run!
Morton, that's the one!
Jimmy! Jimmy! We're here!
Morton, get this thing open.
Jimmy?! Ji...
Jimmy... ooh!
Look at this cute
little boy, Morton!
Can you tell me,
have you seen my son?
He's wearing a large
plastic bubble suit.
I know what you want.
I'll give you some candy.
He stole my freaks,
that son of a bitch!
Oh! What a potty mouth you have!
Where was he going?
Screw you, lady!
Aah!
Thanks.
Thanks for saving me back there.
You're welcome.
Those were some crazy vatos.
For some unknown reason,
Shiva has brought you
into my life like a hot flash.
You came to my defense,
and the law of karma requires me
to return the favor.
You see,
this ice cream truck
is merely a catalyst,
a way to teach the wisdom
of the sacred cow.
For who can resist ice cream, eh?
I know I can't.
So, how may I be of service to you,
my zip-locked friend?
I need to get to
Niagara Falls by Saturday
to stop Chloe
from getting married.
Oh. I was thinking
more along the lines
of a free snow cone,
but, okay.
Niagara Falls it is.
Livin' in the Land of the Lost
livin' in the Land...
No way is this better
than Jurassic Park.
I can't believe
you and bubble geek
actually liked this show.
The effects look totally fake.
That's the whole point.
What? It's supposed to look fake?
I'm not here.
Hello?
What have you done with my son?
Mrs. Livingston?
Is he with you?
How could he be here?
Well, apparently he's on his way
to your wedding in a bubble suit,
exposing himself to
all the wickedness
and filth this world
has to offer!
And you're responsible!
Come on! Over here! Come on!
Come on!
Over here!
Come on! This way!
Come on!
Let's go, Morton.
Correction. You two
aren't going anywhere
until I get my freaks back.
Don't you take that tone of voice
with me, young man!
Morton, are you
just gonna sit there
and let him talk to me like that?
Yeah, Mort. Are ya?
My car!
My freaks!
Help! Jimmy!
Aah! Jimmy!
Help!
Hang on! Hang on!
Aah!
Screw you, grumpy!
Hop on, babe.
Thanks for saving me, Mark.
How do you do it?
Immunities, baby.
Immunities.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Oh, dear.
Oh!
Oh!
Look at that.
It's an elk.
Or is it a caribou?
Or an American bison?
I, uh...
I think that it's a cow.
Oh, really?! A cow?!
I didn't know.
What have I done?
It's just a cow, Pushpop.
It's not...
Just a cow?
Just a cow?!
In my religion,
the cow is the womb
from which all life springs!
Heh heh heh!
I have transgressed
against Shiva!
Shiva?
The six-armed goddess.
Have you ever been
karmically bitch-slapped
by a six-armed goddess?
I'll take that as a no!
Oh! Um...
It's ok, Pushpop.
Your religion's all lies.
Pardon?
That's what my mom says.
I mean...
Bollocks.
I must atone.
His mother taught him.
What nonsense.
May Shiva shine upon your journey!
Well, can't we, uh...
Can't we drive and atone?
No. One for the road.
What?
No, no, no. Um...
There are germs in here!
Frozen! No germs!
No germs?
When did this happen?
Thanks for the lift!
So long!
Ice cream
It was one thing that my mom
had never heard of
the bitch-slapping goddess,
but it seemed like
everybody should have heard
of frozen, germ-free ice cream.
Ohh!
Everybody loves ice cream.
Stripper.
Dykes.
Dear lord, if thou findest
the stealing of this truck
offensive in any way,
please direct thy wrath
upon that midget
and not upon us,
thy humble servants. Amen.
All right.
Let's haul ass.
One of you two gotta drive.
I can't reach the pedals.
Ok. Upsy-Daisy. Whoo!
I am coming back as a cockroach.
Definitely a cockroach.
Uhh!
Aah!
Aah!
Oh ho ho!
Oh ho ho!
Aah! Aah!
Now, we don't know where
those hands have been, do we?
Rub them together.
Rub them together.
Kill those germs!
That's right.
Good boy.
No! Stop!
Show some respect!
Hey! Yo, hippie!
You seen a big, yellow bus
with a lot of bright
and shiny cabrones pass through here?
No, sir.
I don't believe I have.
You got any bomb pops
on that truck?
Oh, yes. Please,
take the whole damn truck.
All right!
Who wants a blue one?
Everything is a-ok
Bright and shiny
Uhh! Uhh!
What have I done?
You okay?
Yeah.
It's just...
Jimmy's my best friend.
We basically spent every day
together in high school.
Yeah?
Did you ever...
You know, get in his bubble?
No.
Not that I didn't
think about it, though.
I know what you mean.
I used to play "spin the bottle"
with the kid from
special ed. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Well.
I mean, obviously,
it would've never worked out
between the two of us.
Yeah. I mean,
rubber comes in handy
every once in a while,
but let's not go overboard.
You're way better off
with my brother.
Yeah. Way better off.
Take a little time
throw it on the line
let me believe
that you believe in me
baby, turn around
look at what I found
you're the one that I want
take a little time
throw it on the line
let me believe
that you believe in me
stand and turn around
look at what I found
you were the one that I wanted
take a little time
throw it on the line
let me believe
that you believe in me
baby, turn around
look at what I found
you were the one that I wanted
Taxi! Taxi!
Hi! I need to get to
Niagara Falls by tomorrow.
Can you take me there?
Depends.
Goin' that far I'll have
to get me some Depends.
And 500 smackers!
$500?!
Where am I gonna get $500?
Who wants to be next?
Who wants the $500?
Now, we need
some fresh blood here!
Whoa! Spotlight
on the dance floor!
Whoa, I like the look of this!
Mr. Alien, is it?
What are you doing here, dummy?
I saw the sign outside
and it said that you
have $500, and so...
You want $500?
Yes.
I would like $500.
You want $500?
Yes. Please, I would like $500.
You want $500?
Yes, I want $500!
$500!
$500!
$500!
$500!
All right!
Our next contestant, Mr. Alien!
Red hot, working girl,
bring him on over!
A big cheer for Mr. Alien!
Mud! Mud! Mud! Mud!
Mud! Mud! Mud!
$500!
$500!
$500!
$500!
Aah! Hey!
Whoa! Oh, whoa!
Unh!
Unh!
$500!
Bubble boy! Bubble boy!
$500!
Goddess Shiva,
I really need that money!
Ohh!
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic
for which it stands!
Ha ha ha!
We have winner!
Winner! Winner! Winner!
Bitch-slap me, Jesus
I've lost my way
strayed from your path
yet I pray
Who let the dogs out
woof woof woof
Morton! I was listening to that!
Yeah, Mort.
A girl can't get five minutes
of quality time with Jesus.
Man, this is some good curry!
Ha ha! Yeah!
I got the money!
Look! There he is!
I've got the money!
Ha ha!
We found you, Todd.
We know who you are.
We've come to set you free!
Ow!
You are the chosen one!
I don't need you to set me free!
I don't... oh!
Wait! Wait!
Look! Those people have Jimmy!
Stealth!
We've gotta get him away
from those freaks.
What can we do?
We need a plan.
We blend.
I got a plan.
What size shirt you wear?
And now, to avoid mutating
and burning on planet PX-41,
we release the chosen one
using the ceremonial tweezers.
With this tiny prick,
I release thee!
No! No! Don't!
I'll die!
It must be a test!
Where's my Kloobda?
Right there, Lorraine!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Wait a minute!
You're not a shiny!
Who are you?
Uh... Todd?
Oh!
Hi, Todd.
Wait a minute!
What's the matter with your arms?
What are you talking about?
There's nothing wrong with my arms!
We're too late!
We're mutating!
We're gonna get you out
through the front of the bus.
Oh, God!
Why won't you help me?
Ha ha ha ha!
He's got a bubbly face
and a bubbly nose
Mr. Bubble
Bubble, bubblicious
the ultimate bubble.
Tiny bubbles
Tiny bubbles
in the wine
I know.
I miss him, too.
Come on, bubble boy!
Hurry up!
Come on!
This way, guys!
Hurry!
This way!
Ow! Guys! Oh!
Hey! Come on! Todd!
Hey, shinies!
We have some unfinished
business, huh?
No, no, Slim.
They're my friends.
They got him brainwashed!
No! No! No!
Wait!
Bubble, we're gonna
help you out! Don't worry!
I'll take you all on with
one flipper behind my back!
You want a mouthful of tuna?
Free Willy! Free Willy!
You're all...
I'm gonna whup that ass!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Aah! Oh, my God!
Get it off of me!
Get it off of me!
Ha ha ha ha!
Niagara Falls, and step on it!
It's the cops!
Wait a minute!
Don't touch me there!
Wait a minute!
Where's bubble boy?
You ask me if I love you
and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Poon--!
Huh?
Chasing a dame, aren't you?
Who am I to judge you
Last time I was in
a commotion like that,
it was all on account of poon--!
Oh, what the astronauts drink.
No, no. My wife.
My little China doll.
Yeah, till that damn
brother of mine
took her off to Waxahachie.
Snatched my poon--!
right out from under me.
86 years ago.
I ain't spoke to that bastard since.
Don't live in regret, ese.
He's your family.
Family. Heh.
I really gotta go!
I told you, once we're on
the road we're not stopping!
Than mislead you with a lie
And after all that,
they still didn't get you
a new puppy?
No.
Ohh.
Poor little thing.
No wonder you turned out
the way you did.
Ohh.
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
Morning, Pappy.
You must be tired.
You get any sleep?
Ha ha ha!
Heh heh. I said, you get any sleep?
Pappy!
Pappy?
Pappy?
Pappy? Pappy! Stop!
Aah!
Oh! Ow!
Yow! Yeah, I'm fine.
You have a phone?
Yello.
Hello?
Hi. Is Chloe there?
Uh, who can I say is calling?
It's Jimmy.
Oh. Hello, Jimmy.
Where the hell are you?
I'm really close. Like,
in New York, I think.
Look, I don't mean to
burst your bubble, Jimbo,
but if you got a thing for Chloe,
it's not gonna happen, okay?
We're getting married in one hour.
What are you expecting to happen, huh?
You can't even touch her.
How are you gonna have children?
Do you even have sperm?
Face it, dude, you're a charity case.
Chloe just felt sorry for you
because you lived in a bubble.
Do us all a favor.
Go on back to Palmdale
where you belong.
I wasn't quite sure
what Mark meant about the sperm...
But he was right about one thing.
Even if I did get there...
I couldn't ever really
hold Chloe in my arms
or kiss her for real.
I really was a freak.
Hello.
Hi, Dr. Phreak.
It's Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
The bubble boy.
Jimmy?!
Give me that!
That's my phone!
Hello? Jimmy?
Mom?
Jimmy!
What are you doing with Dr. Phreak?
Where are you?
Oh! Okay, sweetheart,
we'll be right there.
Don't move!
Morton, we've got our boy back!
Gimme that.
Aah! Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Eek! Ohh!
Son of a bitch.
Mama.
Ohh! Aah!
I never stole anything before
and I just fell off
a dead man's car
and this is the girl
I love's favorite beer
and I was just wondering,
could I borrow it?
Yeah, sure.
Thanks.
Now open the safe!
Do it! Chop chop!
Ohh...
Aah!
The sweet lord has
delivered you from evil.
Ohh!
I must say, you put us
through heck, young man!
But I think you learned
a valuable lesson.
There's no place like home.
Okay, Morton, load him in the car.
The spirit's burning
so strong in my bosom,
I think I have to wee-wee.
How... ahem... how
was it out there?
Was it fun?
You can see the moon today.
You know, it kind of
makes you wonder
what would have happened
if Neil Armstrong
had gone all the way
to the moon...
And then never
stepped on the surface.
Jimmy!
Morton, where's Jimmy?!
What happened?
Jimmy! Jimmy!
Jimmy! Come to mommy!
No, mom! I'm sorry!
I gotta do this!
It's all right to tell me
I'm not coming home!
Jimmy!
Todd!
Jimmy!
Todd, we love you!
We've come to set you free!
Who the hell are you?
Back off, bitch!
He's the messiah!
We love you, Todd!
Jimmy, no!
Pedal to the metal, flippy!
Look!
Well, I guess this is growing up
Hey!
Whoa!
Oh!
Jimmy!
Ha ha ha!
Vaya con dios, bubble boy.
Hang on, kid.
Pappy?
Wh... aah!
Watch out!
Slim?
Wildfire?
Wildfire
What happened to you, Pappy?
I thought you were dead.
I ain't Pappy.
I'm Pippy. I ain't talked to
that sumbitch brother of mine
in 86 years.
And that's all on account of that...
Poon--!
Poonani!
Poonani?
Sister to poon--!
Well, Pappy talked about poon--!
but he never mentioned
any poonani, Pippy.
Oh! Ha ha!
Oh, my gosh!
I made it! I made it!
Ha ha ha!
Niagara Falls!
Niagara Falls!
Oh, there's the church!
There's the church!
Chloe! Ha ha ha!
Take me down, Pippy!
Take me down!
Oh, we're goin' down.
Very fast.
Pippy!
Aah!
Chloe!
You didn't break out
of that bubble room
to play it safe.
Don't live in regret, ese.
No regrets.
No regrets.
No regrets. No regrets.
No regrets! No regrets!
No regrets!
I made it! Ha ha ha!
Score, dude.
Mmm.
Mmm.
I'm late! I'm late!
Do you, Mark, take Chloe...
To be your lawfully-wedded wife?
To honor and cherish,
in sickness and in health,
as long as you both shall live?
Oh, yeah.
I'm almost there!
I'm almost...
And do you, Chloe...
Take Mark to be your
lawfully-wedded husband,
to honor and cherish,
in sickness and in health,
as long as you both shall live?
Come on, babe.
Easy question.
Chloe!
Chloe!
Jimmy!
Hey, dude, what the hell
are you doing here?
I thought I told you
to head on home?
Just hold on a second, vato.
Vato?
Shut up!
Am I out of line here?
Chloe, I, uh...
What?
What?
Jimmy, what are you doing?
Jimmy?
Jimmy?
I'd rather spend
one minute holding you
than the rest of my life
knowing I never could.
So if you don't mind...
May I kiss the bride?
Is it me?
I love you.
I love you, Chloe.
Jimmy?
Forever.
Okay?
Jimmy?! No!
Jimmy!
Jimmy?
I love you, Jimmy.
I've always loved you.
He's dead!
You killed him!
Oh!
Ohh!
Oh, Jimmy!
My little sweet Jimmy.
Ohh.
Oh, my angel.
My precious little one.
My angel.
Tell him.
What are you talking about?
Tell him what?
He's not dead.
You're not dead, Jimmy.
He's lying.
Tell him.
Tell him everything.
Ohh...
You're not dead, Jimmy.
I'm not?
Ohh!
You developed immunities
when you were four.
I couldn't bear to let the
world ruin you with its filth!
There are so many awful
things out there, Jimmy.
There's so many horrible...
I love you, mom.
Oh!
Ohh. Mmm.
Ain't that sweet.
Oh.
So...
Since I'm not dead, um...
Wouldn't it be nice
if we were older
then we wouldn't
have to wait so long
wouldn't it be nice
to live together
in the kind of world
where we belong
May Shiva bless your union.
Thanks for the ice
cream cake, Pushpop.
Well said, master.
You know, you don't have
to follow me this closely.
Everyone!
The buffet is open!
Winner! Winner! Winner!
Here.
For your honeymoon.
What is it?
$500!
$500?
$500!
$500.
$500!
$500!
$500!
$500!
$500!
Ha ha ha ha!
It's a long story.
I'll tell you on the honeymoon.
Thank you.
To family.
That's right.
And my 40.
Have fun, you two!
You, too, mom.
Don't worry. We will.
Hit it, Slim.
Hit it, Ace.
To friendship.
To friendship.
Now we're gonna party!
Jimmy!
Congratulations, kids.
Ready to take off?
Pippy?
You're right about family, kid.
Pappy?
Poon--!
Poonani! Poonani!
Wouldn't it be nice
Wouldn't it be nice, oh, baby
Sleep tight, my baby
Good night, my baby
Sleep tight
Bright
and shiny
Bright
and shiny
People all across the land
Come and join our happy band
Always happy, never gay
Livin' clean is a-ok
Bright
and shiny
Bright
and shiny
If you save yourself for God
You will get the golden rod
Give up on society
We will be your family
Bright
and shiny
Bright
and shiny
Bright
and shiny
Bright
and shiny
People all across the land
Come and join our happy band
Always happy, never gay
Livin' clean is a-ok
Bright
and shiny
Bight
and shiny
If you save yourself for God
You will get the golden rod
Give up on society
We will be your family
Bright
and shiny
Bright
and shiny
Oh, I love Cadillacs!
Shotgun!
Shut up, chicken!
We'll never fit.
Whup that ass!
Category:Transcripts
Category:Touchstone Pictures Transcripts