Editing 1

= Book 1 =
== Chapter 1 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 1 	 	 	
He also knew the Headmaster 	He also knew the headmaster 	might be intended 	
doesn't make sense…. He knew  	doesn't make sense… He knew  	only three dots 	
indication with his interactions with Voldemort 	indication from his interactions with Voldemort 	 	
we're going to bend our self imposed rules. 	we're going to bend our self-imposed rules. 	 	
"How did he die in the first time-line?" 	"How did he die in the first timeline?" 	 	
I'd have to play a zero sum game 	I'd have to play a zero-sum game 	 	
by claiming the tile 	by claiming the title 	 	
prophecy to who ever I please, 	prophecy to whomever I please, 	 	
with different story telling forms and tools 	with different storytelling forms and tools 	 	
no apologies for head related injuries. 	no apologies for head-related injuries. 	 	
in the far corner of a high security 	in the far corner of a high-security 	 	
and revulsion on his parents faces 	and revulsion on his parents' faces 	 	
a bored sounding voice 	a bored-sounding voice 	 	
A four word sentence 	A four-word sentence 	 	
deliberately choose John to be 	deliberately chose John to be 	past tense 	
We already let John re-do the 	We already let John redo the 	 	
"In the grave-yard at the end 	"In the graveyard at the end 	 	
how he got such good grades without trying 	how he got such good marks without trying 	 	
Do not try to setup master 	Do not try to set up master 	separate words as a verb, setup or set-up as a noun, 	
not a deathly hollows style gift. 	not a Deathly Hallows-style gift. 	in-universe proper noun (also spelling and hyphen) 	
falling into he same trap 	falling into the same trap 	 	
showed itself to be the curled up, skin and bones form 	showed itself to be the curled-up skin-and-bones form 	3 hyphens added and 1 comma taken away 	
James Potter, the True-Boy-Who-Lived 	James Potter, the true Boy-Who-Lived 	also hyphen removed 	
On the plus side, there were fewer dementors around, but on the negative side 	On the plus side, there were fewer dementors around, but on the minus side 	It’s either plus/minus or positive/negative that are the contrasts, not plus/negative or positive/minus. 	
was believed by all to be The-Boy-Who-Lived 	was believed by all to be the Boy-Who-Lived 	also hyphen removed 	
When the chamber of secrets had 	When the Chamber of Secrets had 	 	
In his two years at Hogwarts he'd never 	In his two years at Hogwarts, he'd never 	 	
The look of disgust and revulsion 	The looks of disgust and revulsion 	 	
but it was the only thing to do and, as messed up as it sounded, 	but it was the only thing to do, and, as messed up as it sounded, 	 	
and Harry Potter, The-True-Boy-Who-Lived, walked 	and Harry Potter, the true Boy-Who-Lived, walked 	also 2 hyphens removed 	
t was the veil of death 	t was the Veil of Death 	 	
moving towards the veil leaving Harry 	moving towards the Veil, leaving Harry 	 	
He was halfway to the veil 	He was halfway to the Veil 	 	
Harry finally replied again, "Err… who are 	Harry finally replied again, "Er… who are 	sfu: Not sure about it 	
side of the small room to him, 	side of the small room from him, 	 	
he motioned to the woman who inclined her head to Harry, "we have a bone to pick	he motioned to the woman, who inclined her head to Harry. "We have a bone to pick	 	
Death seemed personable enough, "does this bone have 	Death seemed personable enough. "Does this bone have 	 	
If we hadn't have done that, 	If we hadn't done that, 	 	
Harry’s looked nonplussed. "But… It's not my fault if I was a damn horcrux! 	Harry looked bewildered. "But… it's not my fault if I was a damn horcrux!" 	I suggest using a different word than nonplussed, as it was used just a few paragraphs before. Maybe bewildered? 	
seless sack of wizard that called himself The-Boy-Who-Lived failed 	useless sack of wizard that called himself the Boy-Who-Lived failed 	hyphen removed 	
So, Dumbledore told John… That made sense. 	So, Dumbledore told John… that made sense. 	 	
two Dark Lords in his life, both of which 	two Dark Lords in his life, both of whom 	 	
towards the twinkly-eyed 	towards the twinkly eyed 	“Twinkly” is an adverb, and adverbs do not require hyphens in these cases. They naturally modify adjectives, so the hyphen does not bring any clarity to the sentence.	
he was no longer able to manipulate events and your brother 	he was no longer able to manipulate events. Your brother 	
# Previously was a run-on sentence. 	
other flimsy trumped up charge?" 	other flimsy trumped-up charge?" 	 	
his horrific personality, he had a four year lead 	his horrific personality. He had a four-year lead 	 	
"…" 	"…" 	Delete entirely, both instances. I suspect LVE wanted to use it to indicate Harry was thinking, but it is unnecessary and just adds confusion to the chapter. 	
"Wait… That's why he let 	"Wait… that's why he let 	 	
give him a third chance! 	give him a third chance!” 	quotation missing 	
who also thinks they are our chosen. 	who also thinks he is our chosen. 	 	
that opened the chamber." 	that opened the Chamber." 	 	
against Dumbledore you need 	against Dumbledore, you need 	 	
"No no no, Harry. 	"No, no, no, Harry. 	two commas added 	
political elite…"—Harry stretched his chin—"…On 	political elite…." Harry scratched his chin. "…On 	delete em dash 	
Any death eaters or allies 	Any Death Eaters or allies 	 	
for allies—A moment of silence passed—Slytherin 	or allies.” A moment of silence passed. “S 	delete em dash 	
"Well done young champion 	"Well done, young champion 	 	
"That's as well as maybe 	"That's as well as may be 	 	
let house rivalries detract you 	let house rivalries distract you 	 	
to bring to your side. 	to bring to your side." 	quotation missing 	
team building exercises. 	team-building exercises. 	 	
as a pile of rags and bones can. 	as a pile of rags and bones could. 	 	
Death spoke up. "Mister Potter 	Death spoke up, "Mister Potter 	 	
Fate interjected, "so long as 	Fate interjected. "So long as 	 	
 	you have a free pass.” 	quotation missing 	
back through the veil. 	back through the Veil. 	 	
an edited highlights reel 	an edited highlight reel 	Remove "s" 	
Fate's ice blue eyes 	Fate's ice-blue eyes 	Hyphen 	
"… But wouldn't that 	"…But wouldn't that 	Remove space after leading ellipses 	
the final hundred odd years 	the final hundred-odd years 	Hyphen 	
“Mmmmhmm.” 	“Indeed.” 	I suggest using something besides Mmmmhmm for Fate’s agreement. It seems out of character for her to show her agreement in that way. Indeed could work. 	
== Chapter 2 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status	
Chapter 2 	 	 	 	
PLOTHOLE 	anyone within fifty miles would 	Impossible because human sight goes up to 5km max. For it to be 50 miles, Harry had to watch physically around 80 meters up from the air.
Best case is 5 kilometers, which is around 3 miles.	 	
"Um… Yew? 	"Um… yew? 	not sure 	 	
It's the oldest Yew in the 	It's the oldest yew in the 	should be small 	 	
absolute right of the King to rule 	absolute right of the king to rule 	not sure 	 	
Oh… He might also have spotted 	Oh… he might also have spotted 	not sure 	 	
and aggressive with her question monologue, 	and aggressive with her questions monologue, 	not sure 	 	
of alerting Dumbledore to his presence. 	of alerting Dumbledore of his presence. 	not sure 	 	
While Diagon alley looked 	While Diagon Alley looked 	spelled wrong, source 	 	
If old man only knew. 	If the old man only knew. 	word missing? 	 	
a tiny lighting bolt killing 	a tiny lightning bolt killing 	spelled wrong 	 	
it would give him early warning 	it would give him an early warning 	spelled wrong? 	 	
"Err… Thank you, 	"Err… thank you, 	not sure 	 	
and happiness in the back of Harry's cornea. 	and happiness across Harry’s retinas.’ Or possibly ‘... back of Harry’s eyes’ 	the cornea is just the part at the very front of the eye 	 	
the comforts of the tearoom in practise 	the comforts of the tearoom in practice 	noun 	 	
They were no-where to be seen 	They were nowhere to be seen 	 	 	
the glossy paged brochure 	the glossy-paged brochure 	 	 	
"Oh no… oh shit! shit!” 	"Oh no… oh shit! Shit!” 	New sentence 	 	
"What if someone uses them! Oh shit! shit!” 	"What if someone uses them! Oh shit! Shit!” 	 	 	
some less deserving cut purse 	some less deserving cutpurse 	 	 	
07 Great British Pounds 	07 Pounds Sterling (without Great British) 	British language use 	 	
thestral herd in the British isles 	thestral herd in the British Isles 	 	 	
a hint of smile played across 	a hint of a smile played across 	 	 	
As his finger tips wrapped 	As his fingertips wrapped 	 	 	
and aggressive with her question monologue, 	and aggressive with her questioning monologue, 	 	 	
Chapter two: 	Chapter Two: 	 	 	
To do that he needed 	To do that, he needed 	 	 	
if you were helpless everything 	you were helpless, everything 	 	 	
not the imperius, nothing could 	not the imperius; nothing could 	 	 	
the imperius — you just had 	the imperius—you just had 	space removal 	 	
unforgivable — poor little 	unforgivable—poor little 	space removal 	 	
wand wielding weakling 	wand-wielding weakling 	 	 	
OWL in defence stumbled 	OWL in defence who stumbled 	 	 	
muggle repelling wards 	muggle-repelling wards 	 	 	
charms — as he 	charms—as he 	space removal 	 	
sell him a wand, he was too young 	sell him a wand; he was too young 	 	 	
be any good — they'd 	be any good—they'd 	space removal 	 	
If he were caught he'd be in 	If he were caught, he'd be in 	 	 	
length as the elder wand. 	length as the Elder Wand. 	 	 	
was a short plump woman 	was a short, plump woman 	 	 	
Yes, it is, where are you parents dear? 	Yes, it is. Where are your parents, dear? 	4 things 	 	
future-heartbreaker 	future heartbreaker 	no hyphen 	 	
Well dear. Why don't you 	Well, dear, why don't you 	3 things. 2 commas and one lower case 	 	
"Thank you Mrs…?" "Ruthson dear." 	"Thank you, Mrs…?" "Ruthson, dear." 	2 commas 	 	
and Dad now — they're 	and Dad now—they're 	space removal 	 	
Not to worry dear, 	Not to worry, dear, 	 	 	
holiday filled 	holiday-filled 	 	 	
don't panic, its probably 	don't panic; it's probably 	two things: semicolon and apostrophe 	 	
shit! shit!." 	shit! shit!" 	Extra period removed 	 	
less deserving cut purse 	less-deserving cutpurse 	two things :) 	 	
smiled… Breakfast time. 	smiled… breakfast time. 	 	 	
his intended — The Ankerwycke 	his intended target—The Ankerwycke 	two things: word missing and space removal 	 	
and included passages 	and contained passages 	twice included back to back, so instead contained 	 	
king Henry VIII, had started 	king Henry VIII had started 	comma deletion 	 	
and England, and the 	and England and the 	comma deletion 	 	
over him — something 	over him—something 	space removal 	 	
with an audible, "phew." 	with an audible, "Phew." 	 	 	
'Fight-or-flight' 	'fight-or-flight' 	 	 	
All in all it could have 	All in all, it could have 	 	 	
who — because of their 	who—because of their 	space removal 	 	
apparate — should 	apparate—should 	space removal 	 	
It was small and crept 	It was small, and crept 	comma 	 	
to tombstone, as though 	to tombstone as though 	no comma 	 	
chest was bare — the shirt 	chest was bare—the shirt 	space removal 	 	
You can see me right? 	You can see me, right? 	comma 	 	
you're magical aren't you? 	you're magical, aren't you? 	comma 	 	
both silly and aggressive with her question monologue 	The list has this on it twice. First, it adds an S to the word question... 	...That is incorrect and reads awkwardly. I see it also corrected to “questioning” later in the list, and that is much better 	 	
and, 'your sight,' …are you a 	and, 'my sight,' …are you a 	 	 	
young man," a hint of smile 	young man." A hint of a smile 	3 things. dot and two a's 	 	
she smiled, "my name is 	she smiled. "My name is 	two things 	 	
single branch of the Llangernyw Yew, to make a single wand 	single branch of the Llangernyw Yew, to make a single wand 	too many singles 	 	
How do you, a child, want to defeat him? 	This sentence just reads oddly. The reader thinks it ought to go something like “How can you, a child, hope to defeat him?”...	...But that’s not what it says. She asks why he’d want to defeat Voldy, since he’s a child. If that’s what you’re going for, leave as is. Otherwise, consider revising	 	
child of prophecy — singled 	child of prophecy—singled 	space removal 	 	
herself — to do the 	herself—to do the 	space removal 	 	
Please Harry, take what yo 	Please, Harry, take what yo 	comma 	 	
Before you go… can I see 	Before you go… may I see 	Angelystor uses old language, thus may 	 	
lightning bolt shaped 	lightning bolt-shaped 	 	 	
Hogwarts — a place 	Hogwarts—a place 	space removal 	 	
who cared, was tiny. 	who cared was tiny. 	no comma 	 	
bristling with muggle repelling 	bristling with muggle-repelling 	 	 	
architecture — row after row 	architecture—row after row 	 	 	
square, curved, sloping roofs 	square, curved sloping roofs 	Delete second comma and how can something be squared and curved :P 	 	
of one building of course. 	of one building, of course. 	comma 	 	
a melting roman temple 	a melting Roman temple 	 	 	
unwound his make-shift 	unwound his makeshift 	 	 	
past the guards, up into 	past the guards up into 	no comma 	 	
250 pounds — the results 	250 pounds—the results 	space removal 	 	
English accented child 	English-accented child 	 	 	
Merlin he loved goblins 	Merlin, he loved goblins 	 	 	
was looking for — a small 	was looking for—a small 	space removal 	 	
And next to the counter, 	And finally, next to the counter, 	 	 	
a black, full-length, duster style thestral shell cordovan coat with a robe style hood. 	a full-length black thestral shell cordovan duster with a robe-style hood 	huge revision. read carefully 	 	
"Can I help, Sir?" 	"Can I help, sir?" 	 	 	
Ah, well done, Sir. 	Ah, well done, sir. 	 	 	
strands — in a wand core 	Ten strands—in a wand-core braid. 	removal and hyphen 	 	
on the mannequin." 	on the mannequin. 	unneeded quotation mark 	 	
a smoke filled orb 	a smoke-filled orb 	 	 	
it, eh, Young Man?" 	it, eh, young man?" 	 	 	
muggle made wand 	muggle-made wand 	 	 	
Err… Thank you, 	Er… thank you, 	 	 	
Err” is a word that means a mistake or miscalculation, such as “err on the side of caution,”	while “er” is the sound one makes when thinking or when stumped. 	That is why I am changing all these Err’s to Er’s. 	 	
and other mind altering magics 	and other mind-altering magics 	Hyphen 	 	
"Yeah, Baby?" 	"Yeah, baby?" 	Lowercase 	 	
to conclude I was a very short 	to conclude he was a very short 	Change to third-person POV 	 	
I suppose it might be 	He supposed it might be 	Change to third-person POV 	 	
of polyjuice… okay, so there were 	of polyjuice… Okay, so there were 	A complete sentence after ellipses should be capitalized 	 	
Why…why can't my sight 	Why… why can't my sight 	Space after ellipses 	 	
through emerald green eyes 	through emerald-green eyes 	Hyphen 	 	
Well, Fair Lady, this is where 	Well, fair lady, this is where 	Lowercase 	 	
"Yes, My Lady?" 	"Yes, my lady?" 	Lowercase 	 	
a fierce lightning bolt shaped scar 	a fierce lightning-bolt-shaped scar 	Two hyphens 	 	
Thank you, Mrs. Ruthson. 	Thank you, Mrs Ruthson. 	Remove period 	 	
Oh, yes, Mrs. Ruthson 	Oh, yes, Mrs Ruthson 	Remove period 	 	
It was Mr. Ollivander 	It was Mr Ollivander 	Remove period 	 	
"I know you're there!" Mr. Ollivander called 	"I know you're there!" Mr Ollivander called 	Remove period 	 	
in this tiny welsh village 	in this tiny Welsh village 	Capitalize 	 	
The man was silent few a few moments 	The man was silent for a few moments 	Typo 	 	
sending emerald green sparks up 	sending emerald-green sparks up 	Hyphen 	 	
but something had defiantly changed 	but something had definitely changed 	Not sure 	 	
and the world beyond the veil 	and the world beyond the Veil 	Capitalize? 	 	
would risk the almost certain destruction 	would risk the almost-certain destruction 	Hyphen 	 	
== Chapter 3 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 3 	 	 	
loopholes or unthought of problems. 	loopholes or unthought-of problems. 	 	
but decided wasn't worth it 	but decided it wasn't worth it 	 	
he wanted it be on his terms. 	he wanted it to be on his terms. 	 	
digging himself a passage way 	digging himself a passageway 	 	
Filling the space of the entrance of the passage	at or beyond 	to avoid the double 'of' 	
It was now mid September 	It was now mid-September 	 	
stealing other high value items 	stealing other high-value items 	 	
Hell, they taught thirteen year-olds 	Hell, they taught thirteen-year-olds 	 	
Harry wasn't there any more 	Harry wasn't there anymore 	 	
a random fire ball 	a random fireball 	 	
detail with pin point accuracy. 	detail with pinpoint accuracy. 	 	
reaching down into a desk draw 	reaching down into a desk drawer 	 	
It was now mid October and 	It was now mid-October and 	 	
multi compartment, shrinkable 	multi-compartment, shrinkable 	 	
for early to mid November 	for early to mid-November 	 	
He was working to a schedule 	He was working on a schedule 	 	
No really?, but he shoved 	No really? But he shoved 	 	
"Fidelius Occultum!" 	"Fidelius occultum!" 	 	
The crystal blue waters 	The crystal-blue waters 	Hyphen 	
'the organisation of high-level drug markets' 	'The organisation of high-level drug markets' 	Capitalize 	
breaking the international statute of secrecy 	breaking the International Statute of Secrecy 	Capitalize 	
and muggle baiting laws 	and muggle-baiting laws 	Hyphen 	
the bog standard normal high street 	the bog-standard normal high-street muggle bank	Two hyphens 	
he shook his head 	He shook his head 	Capitalize 	
and a sheet metal roof 	and a sheet-metal roof 	Hyphen 	
Around the wall edges, Various machines 	Around the wall edges, various machines 	Lowercase 	
questionable states of repair, Metal barrels 	questionable states of repair. Metal barrels 	Change to period 	
in the middle, crouched three men 	in the middle crouched three men 	Remove comma 	
the wizard detection ward 	the wizard-detection ward 	Hyphen 	
and muggle repelling wards 	and muggle-repelling wards 	Hyphen 	
his brand new, powerful as hell wand 	his brand-new, powerful-as-hell wand 	Three hyphens 	
head with midnight blue scales 	head with midnight-blue scales 	Hyphen 	
A mother fucking dragon 	A motherfucking dragon 	Should be one word 	
No really?, but he 	No really?', but he 	Add closing quote 	
the wand waving work 	the wand-waving work 	Hyphen 	
yew focus had never meant to be 	yew focus was never meant to be 	Typo 	
The eyes were gray 	The eyes were grey 	Typo 	
the posh looking tosser 	the posh-looking tosser 	Hyphen 	
other high magic areas 	other high-magic areas 	Hyphen 	
contact him in future 	contact him in the future 	Missing word 	
processed into medical grade morphine 	processed into medical-grade morphine 	Hyphen 	
leading to two hollowed out rooms 	leading to two hollowed-out rooms 	Hyphen 	
its soon to be hoard of treasure 	its soon-to-be hoard of treasure 	Two hyphens 	
he started, "What's your business then 	he started, "what's your business then 	Alternatively, change comma to period	
Mr. Lawless's men had been shocked 	Mr Lawless's men had been shocked 	Remove period 	
$Hey! Winged Serpent! 	§
Hey! Winged Serpent! 	0167 ascii 	
I mean you no harm!$" 	I mean you no harm!§ 	 	
== Chapter 4 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 4 	 	 	
hidden in it's shadow. 	hidden in its shadow. 	 	
as a blow-him-away wind shredded his fog. 	as a blow-you-away wind shredded his fog. 	 	
got my ass handed to me 	got my arse handed to me 	Lord Greengrass would think ass = donkey 	
ill pass to the conquer of 	ill pass to the conqueror of 	 	
where upon I'd be rolled out 	whereupon I'd be rolled out 	 	
A small girl with weasley-red 	A small girl with Weasley-red 	 	
to shore up the rag tag alliance 	to shore up the ragtag alliance 	 	
by a Dark sided wizard 	by a Dark-sided wizard 	 	
being humoured less then thirty 	being humoured less than thirty 	 	
just completely over powered him 	just completely overpowered him 	 	
me by an eight year old 	me by an eight-year-old 	 	
and blood related within 	and blood-related within 	 	
'face my destiny,' where upon 	'face my destiny,' whereupon 	 	
and chatting to his Lady Greengrass. 	and chatting with his Lady Greengrass. 	 	
Jacob stared after the man who 	Jacob stared at the man who 	 	
candidate for heir to the Slytherin 	candidate for an heir to the Slytherin 	Isn't 'the heir' more appropriate as it refers to the heir of a specific house and there can be only one heir to Slytherin line.	
had died on the end of 	had died at the end of 	 	
with the ascendancy to the 	with the ascendancy of the 	 	
was blown away with a miniature 	was blown away by a miniature 	 	
in the middle of room 	in the middle of the room 	 	
Shall we retire to somewhere more 	Shall we retire somewhere more 	 	
morphed themselves to his new form 	morphed themselves into his new form 	 	
anger flowing into him. 	anger flowing through him. 	 	
the much worshiped Boy-Who-Lived 	the much worshipped Boy-Who-Lived 	British English 	
"Greengrass manor!" 	"Greengrass Manor!" 	 	
Noble house of Greengrass, was looking 	Noble House of Greengrass, was looking 	 	
born on the July thirty-first 	born on the thirty-first of July 	31st of July as an alternative 	
"To be decided upon later no doubt? 	"To be decided upon later, no doubt? 	comma 	
the much worshiped Boy-Who- 	the much worshipped Boy-Who- 	 	
weasley-red hair 	Weasley-red hair 	 	
up the rag tag alliance 	up the rag-tag alliance 	 	
The neutrals, as we seem 	The Neutrals, as we seem 	Capitalize 	
items of dubious legality." 	items of dubious legality?" 	Change to question mark 	
There is nothing we trade in that is not legal	There is nothing we trade that is not legal	Remove "in" 	
conversation with Lord Potter, Dear? 	conversation with Lord Potter, dear? 	Lowercase 	
and if his memory 	and, if his memory 	Comma 	
in a less than light section 	in a less-than-light section 	Two hyphens 	
he looked at the ring 	He looked at the ring 	Capitalize 	
One the one hand 	On the one hand 	Typo 	
Weasley on his arm, stayed his hand 	Weasley on his arm stayed his hand 	Remove comma 	
who John had grown to love 	whom John had grown to love 	Typo 	
The neutrals are losing 	The Neutrals are losing 	Capitalize 	
non pureblood noble houses 	non-pureblood noble houses 	Hyphen 	
A stun, shield-breaker, stun combo 	A stunner, shield-breaker, stunner combo 	Add "er" endings 	
a banish, shield breaker, stun combo 	a banisher, shield-breaker, stunner combo 	Add "er" endings, and add hyphen 	
Jacob said."Shall we retire 	Jacob said. "Shall we retire 	Space 	
the comfy living room sofa 	the comfy living-room sofa 	Hyphen 	
a long lost descendant 	a long-lost descendant 	Hyphen 	
The so called loopholes you speak of 	The so-called loopholes you speak of 	Hyphen 	
the much worshiped Boy-Who-Lived 	the much-worshipped boy-who-lived 	Typo, hyphen, and lowercase 	
the look on The-Fake-Boy-Who-Lived's 	the look on the fake boy-who-lived's 	Lowercase, and remove two hyphens 	
You're the brother of the Boy-Who-Lived 	You're the brother of the boy-who-lived 	Lowercase 	
John Potter isn't the Boy-Who-Lived 	John Potter isn't the boy-who-lived 	Lowercase 	
John isn't the true Boy-Who-Lived 	John isn't the true boy-who-lived 	Lowercase 	
Merlin returns from beyond the veil 	Merlin returns from beyond the Veil 	Capitalize 	
found himself face to face 	found himself face-to-face 	Two hyphens 	
Standard European Duelling Rules 	Standard European duelling rules 	Not sure 	
Standard? How about Extended Class B? 	Standard? How about Extended Class B? 	According to chapter 55/stream 	
Very well, Extended Class B Rules. 	Very well, Extended Class B rules. 	According to chapter 55/stream 	
== Chapter 5 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 5 	 	 	
an over whelming sense of déjà vu 	an overwhelming sense of déjà vu 	 	
being caught in a bare faced lie 	being caught in a bare-faced lie 	 	
were looking at him, at though 	were looking at him, as though 	 	
"Its okay, Harry. You 	"It's okay, Harry. You 	 	
silence filing the hall 	silence filling the hall 	 	
red faced, heart leaping 	red-faced, heart leaping 	 	
I'm a bit better then that. 	I'm a bit better than that. 	 	
She looked over the boy. 	She looked over at the boy. 	 	
Daphne was on a buzz high. 	Daphne was on a buzzing high. 	 	
We've still got a ways to go 	We've still got ways to go 	 	
had this conversation, Okay?" 	had this conversation, okay?" 	 	
the other wizard's had been 	the other wizards had been 	 	
take the swearing in oath 	take the swearing-in oath 	 	
Noble house of Slytherin, a small amount 	Noble House of Slytherin, a small amount 	 	
As Lord Slytherin, the head of said Most Ancient and Noble house, 	As Lord Slytherin, the head of said Most Ancient and Noble House, 	 	
after grim, the god of war 	after Grim, the god of war 	 	
sitting in the manor foyer 	sitting in the manor's foyer 	 	
She stilled. “Where I live? 	She froze. “Where I live? 	 	
other manors of the ancient and noble houses 	other manors of the Ancient and Noble Houses 	 	
Her calves, thighs, and butt were on fire. 	Her calves, thighs, and butt felt like they were on fire. 	not sure abt this one, just well, they aren’t actually on fire, idk.	
standing in a huddle around one of the seats, and, with a politician's instincts for	standing in a huddle around one of the seats, and with a politician's instincts for	remove second comma 	
let fate have her way 	let Fate have her way 	 	
grew as rumours flew among them. 	grew as rumours flew amongst them. 	 	
Some voices were raised, some looked horrified 	Some raised their voices, some looked horrified 	makes it sound like the voices looked horrified 	
Could they with the required ring, please come 	Could they, with the required ring, please come 	comma 	
She’d been sat here for hours 	She’d been sitting there for hours 	 	
lightning-bolt shaped scar 	lightning-bolt-shaped scar 	Two hyphens 	
seating himself with a loud Whumpf 	seating himself with a loud 'whumpf' 	Lowercase, and add quotes 	
ever side along apparated 	ever side-along apparated 	Hyphen 	
controlled by the Albion family magics 	controlled by the Albion Family Magics 	Capitalize 	
establishment of the Albion family magics 	establishment of the Albion Family Magics 	Capitalize 	
But…something didn't feel right 	But… something didn't feel right 	Space 	
elegant, blond-haired witch 	elegant, blonde-haired witch 	Typo 	
both present and future? 	both present and future?" 	Add closing quote 	
A thousand years ago 	"A thousand years ago 	Add opening quote 	
In recent years, it has become 	"In recent years, it has become 	Add opening quote 	
None has suffered from 	None have suffered from 	Typo 	
Those traditions are, ambition 	"Those traditions are ambition 	Add opening quote, and remove comma 	
Those that prove themselves 	"Those that prove themselves 	Add opening quote 	
Ever since Merlin forged 	"Ever since Merlin forged 	Add opening quote 	
forged the Albion family magics 	forged the Albion Family Magics 	Capitalize 	
The Hogwarts houses are unique 	"The Hogwarts houses are unique 	Add opening quote 	
As Lord Slytherin, the head 	"As Lord Slytherin, the head 	Add opening quote 	
Who here doesn't fight for their family. 	"Who here doesn't fight for their family? 	Add opening quote, and change to question mark 	
over to our children. 	over to our children? 	Change to question mark 	
Thank you." 	"Thank you." 	Add opening quote 	
little blond in her arms 	little blonde in her arms 	Typo 	
rifling through draws 	rifling through drawers 	Typo 	
very ornate looking parchment 	very ornate-looking parchment 	Hyphen 	
a large, comfy looking garden chair 	a large, comfy-looking garden chair 	Hyphen 	
but its still nice, don't you think 	but it's still nice, don't you think 	Apostrophe 	
through the halls of Greengrass manor 	through the halls of Greengrass Manor 	Capitalize 	
Dumbledore slid the elder wand 	Dumbledore slid the Elder Wand 	Capitalize 	
grip on the elder wand 	grip on the Elder Wand 	Capitalize 	
== Chapter 6 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 6 	 	 	
"Harry's math skills are beyond A-level level."	"Harry's maths skills are beyond A-level."	 	
Her eye's flickered, 	Her eyes flickered, 	 	
drew out a text-book of his own. 	drew out a textbook of his own. 	 	
than the snails pace her 	than the snail's pace her 	 	
Your Mum suggested twice a week 	Your mum suggested twice a week 	 	
magic in their every day lives 	magic in their everyday lives 	 	
magics exist specificity to stop 	magics exist specifically to stop 	 	
to cram a lifetimes worth of 	to cram a lifetime's worth of 	 	
She felt she'd just been received a 	just received or just been given 	 	
through her all-night had been 	through her all night had been 	 	
"No. I'm okay. Its just…" 	"No. I'm okay. It's just…" 	 	
came from the trap door 	came from the trapdoor 	 	
who dealt in rules and logic. 	who dealt with rules and logic. 	 	
he'd think she were insane. 	he'd think she was insane. 	 	
and looked around the trunk that 	and looked at the trunk that 	 	
Mrs. Granger continued, 	Mrs Granger continued, 	Mrs. is American, Mrs British 	
Her eye's flickeered 	Her eye flickered OR Her eyes flickered 	 	
she asked. Not quite believing 	she asked, not quite believing 	punctuation and capitalization	
bottle of acid green liquid 	bottle of acid-green liquid 	Hyphen 	
'
The History of the International Statute of Secrecy,'	The History of the International Statute of Secrecy
,	Remove unnecessary quotes 	
by hard altering the rune stones 	by hand-altering the rune stones 	Typo and hyphen 	
No-one's ever managed it 	No one
's ever managed it 	Remove hyphen 	
the snake-decorated chocker 	the snake-decorated choker 	Typo 	
his over-six-foot-frame 	his over-six-foot frame 	Remove one hyphen 	
putting on an emerald green mask 	putting on an emerald-green mask 	Hyphen 	
I…I can't possibly betray 	I… I can't possibly betray 	Space 	
I may have over prepared you 	I may have overprepared you 	Should be one word 	
with long blond hair 	with long blonde hair 	Typo 	
wearing his emerald green mask 	Harry, wearing his emerald-green mask 	Hyphen 	
== Chapter 7 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 7 	 	 	
the shape of lightning bolt. 	of a lightning bolt 	 	
they did all that too you 	they did all that to you 	 	
to open the chamber of secrets 	to open the Chamber of Secrets 	in-universe proper noun	
week from tonight at mid-night 	week from tonight at midnight 	 	
and those who posses the secret 	and those who possess the secret 	 	
and he'd asked it back. 	and he'd asked for it back. 	 	
and to a lesser extant 	and to a lesser extent 	 	
non noble halfbloods 	non-noble halfbloods 	 	
If feels amazing. 	It feels amazing. 	 	
a final disgust filled glare. 	a final disgust-filled glare. 	 	
Pinky of your right hand 	Little finger of your right hand 	British English 	
slipped the ring on her pinky 	slipped the ring on her little finger 	British English 	
by the sad looking 	by the sad-looking 	 	
couldn't take this any more, she 	couldn't take this anymore, she 	 	
he couldn't take any more, calmness 	he couldn't take anymore, calmness 	 	
mention such a practise 	mention such a practice 	 	
you don't need it any more." 	you don't need it anymore." 	 	
just outweighing fear of getting 	just outweighing the fear of getting 	 	
She was still dreaming? 	Was she still dreaming? 	 	
difficult to continuing liking 	difficult continuing liking OR difficult to continue liking	 	
A younger looking Mrs. Potter 	A younger looking Mrs Potter 	British English 	
Mrs. Potter reached 	Mrs Potter reached 	 	
Why did Mrs. Potter have two 	Why did Mrs Potter have two 	 	
"Professor!" Mrs. Potter cried 	"Professor!" Mrs Potter cried 	 	
A quick check in with Mrs. Weasley 	A quick check in with Mrs Weasley 	 	
"Yah." 	"Yeah." 	 	
and kicked up of the damp floor 	and kicked up of the damp ground 	 	
Hi Ginny. 	Hi, Ginny. 	comma 	
Ambitious aren't we? 	Ambitious, aren't we? 	 	
"MMmmmhmmm," he hummed 	"Mmmmmhmmm," he hummed 	Lowercase 	
the cruellest looking man 	the cruellest-looking man 	Hyphen 	
an inflamed lightning bolt shaped scar 	an inflamed lightning-bolt-shaped scar 	Two hyphens 	
the ministry of magic atrium 	the Ministry of Magic atrium 	Capitalize 	
a brown haired witch 	a brown-haired witch 	Hyphen 	
an enflamed lightning bolt scar 	an inflamed lightning-bolt scar 	Typo and hyphen 	
an eerie looking archway 	an eerie-looking archway 	Hyphen 	
drowning out all other thought 	drowning out all other thoughts 	Typo? 	
I'm going to stop it."
"I…I…" 	I'm going to stop it."
"I… I…" 	Space 	
the secret, — i.e. you — can use it 	the secret—i.e. you—can use it 	Remove spaces and comma	
a man in the middle attack 	a man-in-the-middle attack 	Three hyphens 	
looked like a nimbus 1700 	looked like a Nimbus 1700 	Capitalize 	
several bluebell flame lanterns 	several bluebell-flame lanterns 	Hyphen 	
"Muggle repelling wards," he said 	"Muggle-repelling wards," he said 	Hyphen 	
with a lightning bolt pendant 	with a lightning-bolt pendant 	Hyphen 	
Harry knew what he was doing…right? 	Harry knew what he was doing… right? 	Space 	
A quick check in with Mrs. Weasley 	A quick check-in with Mrs. Weasley 	Hyphen 	
felt it seep into her finger tips 	felt it seep into her fingertips 	Should be one word 	
a small lightning bolt design on the face	a small lightning-bolt design on the face 	Hyphen 	
a high end piece of jewellery 	a high-end piece of jewellery 	Hyphen 	
trying to re-create the noble-house rings	trying to recreate the noble-house rings 	Should be one word 	
his best-mate's little sister 	his best mate's little sister 	Remove hyphen 	
A younger looking Mrs Potter walked in 	A younger-looking Mrs Potter walked in 	Hyphen 	
a second, identical looking toddler 	a second, identical-looking toddler 	Hyphen 	
halfbloods 	half-bloods 	Hyphen 	
"Yes, yes." Harry said 	"Yes, yes," Harry said 	Change to comma 	
Boy-Who-Lived 	boy-who-lived 	Many occurences 	
== Chapter 8 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 8 	 	 	
POTENTIAL PLOTHOLE 	Harry says the ritual gave him nearly perfect eye-sight and hearing.	In Chapter 51 John says there is a ritual to get perfect sight, but he never mentions hearing	
"Nah. Give it a half-hour. Let her 	"Nah. Give it half an hour. Let her 	British English 	
drab looking London town houses, 	drab-looking London town houses, 	 	
the buildings were gray 	the buildings were grey 	 	
before he'd started to chow down 	before he'd started to tuck in 	‘chow down’ is extremely uncommon in British English, but ‘tuck in’ is very common 	
window-shopping the quidditch store 	window-shopping at the quidditch store 	 	
corners. Its wearer was 	owner or bearer 	people wear hairstyles, but they don’t wear their hair 	
an ornate dinning table 	an ornate dining table 	 	
to keep your father knowing you're here 	to keep your father from knowing you're here 	 	
just to get good grades in school 	just to get good marks in school 	nobody uses grades in British English 	
without the subject's knowing. 	without the subject's knowledge. 	 	
of drab looking London town houses, 	of drab looking London townhouses, 	 	
to start duelling practise 	to start duelling practice 	noun with c, verb with s 	
his shoulder length blond hair 	his shoulder-length blond hair 	 	
from the old London town house 	from the old London townhouse 	 	
its important to get it back 	it's important to get it back 	 	
Or cuts off you hand?" 	Or cuts off your hand?" 	 	
headquarters of most innovative 	headquarters of the most innovative 	 	
foot-shaped impressions in the ground, 	foot-shaped impressions on the ground, 	 	
[January, 1990 (Two 	[January 1990 (Two 	no comma 	
looking into the silvery-gray 	looking into the silvery-grey 	 	
Kuh. It wasn't easy getting 	Pfft. It wasn't easy getting 	The audio version by Soren sounds like a snort here 	
considered the top-floor-office 	considered the top-floor office 	Remove last hyphen 	
were a light-sided family 	were a Light-sided family 	Capitalize 	
away from The Quibbler Building 	away from the Quibbler building 	Lowercase 	
recast his rain repelling charm 	recast his rain-repelling charm 	Hyphen 	
to give him near perfect eye-sight 	to give him near-perfect eyesight 	Add hyphen, and "eyesight" is one word 	
muggle repelling wards 	muggle-repelling wards 	Hyphen 	
everything short of fidelius 	everything short of the fidelius 	Missing word 	
littered the rookery's garden 	littered the Rookery's garden 	Capitalize 	
eating an ice cream 	eating ice cream 	Remove "an" 	
turning to leave." 	turning to leave. 	Remove extraneous quote 	
a low chance event 	a low-chance event 	Hyphen 	
treated like a guess-my-name-puzzle 	treated like a guess-my-name puzzle 	Remove last hyphen 	
"Yes, my Lord Slytherin." Before dashing out of the room.	"Yes, my Lord Slytherin," she said, before dashing out of the room. 	Fix sentence fragment 	
You never met Harry's great-uncle did you. 	You never met Harry's great-uncle, did you? 	Add comma and question mark 	
from a four-week-trip 	from a four-week trip 	Remove last hyphen 	
returning her focus to her Betrothed 	returning her focus to her betrothed 	Lowercase 	
A Nargle just appeared by your head 	A nargle just appeared by your head 	Lowercase 	
flying beetle that hunts Nargles 	flying beetle that hunts nargles 	Lowercase 	
a super duper secret 	a super-duper secret 	Hyphen 	
He raised his orange juice to mouth-level 	He raised his orange juice to mouth level 	Remove hyphen 	
his friendship with the Lovegood Heiress 	his friendship with the Lovegood heiress 	Lowercase 	
she's the Black Heiress 	she's the Black heiress 	Lowercase 	
The Black Heiress spluttered 	The Black heiress spluttered 	Lowercase 	
== Chapter 9 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 9 	 	 	
POTENTIAL PLOTHOLE REFERS TO CHAPTER 13 	Harry did the inheritance ritual:
"Let's get this cart on the tracks then. A drop of your blood if you would, Lord Slytherin."	Hermione explained how it works in chapter 13 and it should enlist all titles, especially the Heir Potter title.	
sisters, one born a half-hour after the 	sisters, one born half an hour after the 	British English 	
and was now a half-hour older than the 	and was now half an hour older than the 	British English 	
along the riverbank for a half-hour, and 	along the riverbank for half an hour, and 	British English 	
the most sought after artefacts 	the most sought-after artefacts 	 	
The great accounting we call it. 	The Great Accounting we call it. 	(in-universe proper noun) 	
two and a-half years ago 	two-and-a-half years ago 	 	
stories of axe wielding debt 	stories of axe-wielding debt 	 	
at fixed times through-out 	at fixed times throughout 	 	
and into a well appointed waiting 	and into a well-appointed waiting 	 	
crisis in the Goblin nation. 	crisis in the Goblin Nation. 	 	
before any age related decision 	before any age-related decision 	 	
in a large see through box by 	in a large see-through box by 	 	
curse took a lot of practise, 	curse took a lot of practice, 	 	
waiting for the throw back. 	waiting for the throwback. 	 	
red and white smoke stack, 	red and white smokestack, 	 	
as already half way into 	as already halfway into 	 	
and give him draught of living 	and give him a draught of living 	 	
solution made it all the more easy. 	solution made it all the easier. 	 	
not yet here was a snowy. 	not yet here was a snowy one. 	 	
pushed it through a banister, 	pushed it through a bannister, 	British English 	
cloak of liquid cloth spilled out. 	cloak of liquid cloth spilt out. 	 	
Like I said, I like the interesting ones." 	As I said, I like the interesting ones." 	 	
Kuh. An elegant flower that opens just as the snow and ice starts melting. 	Gah. An elegant flower that opens just as the snow and ice starts melting. 	Not sure about the word kuh... 	
jam spread toast 	jam-spread toast 	Hyphen 	
each having only twenty percent. 	each having only twenty percent." 	Add closing quote 	
a family vault for The Most Ancient 	a family vault for the Most Ancient 	Lowercase 	
uses to determine age. 	uses to determine age." 	Add closing quote 	
a medium sized snake 	a medium-sized snake 	Hyphen 	
two large tuffs of white 	two large tufts of white 	Typo 	
"How about Free-key?" 	"How about Freekey?" 	Remove hyphen 	
the gaze of death himself 	the gaze of Death himself 	Capitalize 	
and razor sharp talons 	and razor-sharp talons 	Hyphen 	
they record him entering the Manor 	they record him entering the manor 	Lowercase 	
The soon-to-be first-years morphed 	The soon-to-be first years morphed 	Remove hyphen 	
crisis in the Goblin nation 	crisis in the goblin nation 	Lowercase 	
== Chapter 10 ==
Wrong 	Corrected 	Reasoning 	Status
Chapter 10 	 	 	
A half-hour later, Harry hovered 	Half an hour later, Harry hovered 	British English 	
being heard, nor smelt 	being heard, nor smelled 	smelled also works. 	
from a half foot away. 	from a few inches away 	nobody says from half foot	
with a fine shine of gore. 	with a fine sheen of gore. 	not sure 	
She collapsed to the ground." 	She collapsed to the ground. 	quotation marks not needed	
lightning-bolt ring on her right pinky. 	lightning-bolt ring on her right little finger.	 	
He bolted onto the grand staircase and 	He bolted into the grand staircase and 	not sure 	
lowered their lances, baring his path 	lowered their lances, barring his path 	 	
of the spiders with an over powered 	of the spiders with an overpowered 	 	
That would just be confunding." 	That would just be confounding." 	not sure 	
Half way up, she caught sight 	Halfway up, she caught sight 	 	
Lord Slughorn was a key-stone 	Lord Slughorn was a keystone 	 	
We'll now take a twenty minute unscheduled	We'll now take a twenty-minute unscheduled 	 	
He leapt though the opening. 	He leapt through the opening. 	 	
and anywhere we could carries 	and anywhere we could, carries 	 	
wizard, with a full gray beard. 	wizard, with a full grey beard. 	 	
The grand warlock 	The Chief Warlock 	Source 	
looking for it is still possible 	looking for, it is still possible 	Comma 	
he'd fully entered the area-wards 	he'd fully entered the area wards 	Remove hyphen 	
bag of bertie bott's every flavour beans 	bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans 	Capitalize 	
a sweets only buffet 	a sweets-only buffet 	Hyphen 	
whatever you do…Do. Not. 	whatever you do… Do. Not. 	Space 	
a shower of spider bits. Decorating the 	a shower of spider bits, decorating the 	Change to comma 	
a re-run of what they tried 	a rerun of what they tried 	Should be one word 	
establishment of the Albion family magics 	establishment of the Albion Family Magics 	Capitalize 	
not a house-elf 	not a house elf 	Remove hyphen 	
in an emerald green mask 	in an emerald-green mask 	Hyphen 	
his dead skin-cells 	his dead skin cells 	Remove hyphen 	
a point blank killing curse 	a point-blank killing curse 	Hyphen 	
gave a loud Cawwww 	gave a loud 'cawwww' 	Lowercase, and add quotes 	
the Headmaster jumped in 	the headmaster jumped in 	Lowercase 	
Is all this cloak and dagger nonsense 	Is all this cloak-and-dagger nonsense 	Two hyphens 	
his tiny flying-with-Ginny-broomstick 	his tiny flying-with-Ginny broomstick 	Remove last hyphen 	
a super secret Hogwarts scouting mission 	a super-secret Hogwarts scouting mission 	Hyphen 	
The neutrals now called themselves 	The Neutrals now called themselves 	Capitalize 	
he passed the fourth floor landing 	he passed the fourth-floor landing 	Hyphen 	
Duelling practise time, Daphne 	Duelling practice time, Daphne 	Noun form