Science is... weird, boring, the list could go on...

The second chapter of Total Drama School, posted on October 1, 2010. The 12 contestants partake in their very first challenge, themed around science.
==Story==
In the Killer Apples' dorm, Ricky is snoring loudly, which wakes up Meg, who says, "Ugh! Why can't a girl get any sleep around here?" and tries to go back to sleep. But her effort is thwarted by Chris, who's screaming at the top of his lungs, telling the cast to go to the Science Room.
Confessional (Carson): I mean, this place is fun, but getting up that early? Dude? (falls asleep)
In the Science Room, Chris explains the challenge, which is to make a working potion that can do something to someone. The two teams go to opposite sides of the room, and the Rulers pick Amanda to make the potion. (Actually, she picks herself)
Confessional (Veronica): Amanda is my friend, but she's kinda bossy and like, our team dictator. I wish I could be the leader!
Amanda says to Veronica, "Veronica, give me some of your hair." and Veronica says, "Eww, no!"
An angry Amanda says through gritted teeth, "NOW." but Veronica refuses. Amanda has to go to her last resort. "Carson!" she says. "Can I have some of your hairs? It'll be something to remember you by after I vote you--I mean, you get eliminated." Carson says, "Okayyy..."
Amanda puts Carson's hair into the potion.
Confessional (Devin): We're so the superior team, yo. Watch me win the whole thing. Word!
Meanwhile, the Apples are having a hard time. Ricky is lying on the table and won't budge. Gary says, "Dude, you know you have to get off! We've got to do this CHALLENGE! Your stupidity level is over 9000!" and Meg responds by saying, "Gary, you can't recycle that same joke over and over. Try to think of some new ones."
Confessional (Gary): Over... 8000?
Once the Apples push Ricky off, he demands to make the potion. All he does is put some of his chips into juice.
Chris then says on his loudspeaker, "OK, TIME TO TEST YOUR POTIONS. NOW."
Amanda says, "Ta-da. It's my potion." She feeds it to Veronica, who instantly falls asleep. Then, Ricky says, "Da-ta. My potion." He feeds it to Alex, who stares into space for a minute.
"C'mon Alex, what's it like?!?" screams Sharissa.
Alex opens his mouth, screams, and starts rolling around on the floor.
Chris says, "The rulers win this part of the---wha---wha---RUN FOR IT!"
The remains of Ricky's potion are fizzling and seem like they're about to blow up. Everyone evacuates the Science Room, and about 20 seconds later, the whole room explodes.
Outside, Chris says, "Okay, after that... interesting first challenge, we're going to build Science-karts!"
Confessional (Alex): Really? Science Karts? Man, these producers are runnin' out of ideas.
The Apples pick Sharissa to build and the Rulers pick Kurt.
Kurt says, "No problemo, dudes. I'm a kart racing PRO!" and looks at Meg with a sly grin. He starts hammering wood together, and says to Meg, "Like this? I can hammer wood!" but soon he gets a splinter and starts crying.
Sharissa is hammering madly. "Aaaaaagh! My science kart is gonna RAWK!"
The race is about to start. Sharissa says to Meg, "Meggie, please get in my kart. IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND!" Meg, against her will, nervously steps in.
Confessional (Sharissa): Sure, my kart was a little... dangerous, but Meg will be fine.
Meg and Emilee (who's racing for the Rulers in Kurt's amazing machine) line up. Chris shoots the gun, and they're off.
Emilee is way ahead, and says to Meg, "Ha ha! Who's amazing now?" Meg doesn't reply, because Sharissa's kart is so rickety and dangerous that Meg is bouncing up and down, screaming, "WoOoOoooOoOoOOOoooOooaaaaaAaaAaaGggggGhhHhh!"
Emilee looks, and says, "Oh no! She's gaining!" Meg is hurtling towards the finish line, and passes Emilee by an inch. The Apples win that challenge.
Helga looks up from her book (Mockingbird) and says, "Is there going to be a tie-breaker?" and Chris says, "Yes. Helga and Carson, come up here. Now, it's time for rock, paper, scissors!"
Confessional (Amanda): How does rock, paper, scissors have anything to do with science?
Carson picks rock, Helga picks rock.
Carson picks paper, Helga picks paper.
Carson picks scissors, Helga picks scissors.
Carson picks scissors again, Helga picks "gun", which is cheating.
Carson picks rock, Helga picks "gun" again.
Confessional (Alex): The "gun" thing makes no sense. Guns can't shoot holes in rocks.
Carson picks rock again, Helga picks rock.
Carson picks rock AGAIN, and Helga picks scissors! Carson won, so that meant that the Rulers won. The Rulers cheer and the Apples mope to the Main Lobby.
In the dorms, Meg is telling Helga and Sharissa to vote off Alex, because he didn't do anything, but Sharissa says, "No, no, no. Alex is more helpful than he seems. How 'bout Gary? He's annoying."
Helga says, "He could be helpful!" Meg says, "Then who can we eliminate?"
At the Main Lobby, Chris explains, "The A+ paper is a symbol of immunity. If you get an A+ paper, you're safe for the night. If you do not--"
Meg says, "You must go to the Hallway of Shame, exit the school, and board the School Bus of Losers. You told us this last night."
Chris says, "Nice job remembering. And Meg, that's why you get the first ever A+!"
Confessional (Meg): Wow! My first day, and already I'm safe from elimination!
Confessional (Ricky): Eh... A+, huh? I'm set.
Confessional (Helga): I get A+'s all the time in school. I'm going to get one here, too.
Confessional (Gary): Over 8000? Doesn't sound as good. Darn. What else can I think of?
Chris says, "Meg, yep. You're safe from elimination. You can stay here or go to bed."
Meg says in a relaxed voice, "Naah, I like the drama. I'll stay." and sits back in her desk/chair.
Chris says, "Helga and Alex. You're safe too." Helga and Alex come up and grab A+'s, Helga squealing and Alex just shrugging. Chris says, "Guess who else is safe?"
Sharissa says, "Nobody? Because those posters on the wall are actually cameras that evil squirrels use to track our every move?" Chris replies, "Sharissa, you have a twisted mind. But you're still safe." Chris tosses her an envelope with an A+ on it. "Alas, the final two." Chris says. "Gary, you're not funny. And Ricky, you're not... clean. Or cool. Or fun.Or..."
"JUST GIVE WHOEVER THEIR DARN A+!!!" screams Sharissa at the top of her lungs.
"Ssshhhh." says Chris. "I like the drama! Anyway, the final A+ of the night goes to..."
"Gary. You're safe."
Gary says, "Yes! You guys made the right choice! Your awesomeness level is over 9--"
Meg says with a smile, "Save it for next week, cause we're gonna win next time!"
Chris says solemnly, "Ricky. Time to board the School Bus of Losers."
Ricky gets up and says, "Why me? You guys aren't cool. What's so good about Little Nerd Jr. over there?" Gary smiles.
Meg says, "He's not a nerd! Anyway, sorry dude. You were just too gross. Now board the Bus already! Your stench is..." Ricky yells, "Goodbye, Total Drama School! You're all a buncha fools! And tools! And--"
Chef throws him onto the School Bus of Losers, which drives off. From the inside, you can hear cursing.
Later, in the dorm, Meg says, "OK guys. Today wasn't our... greatest day, but watch us. We'll become the superior team on Total Drama School. Now, goodnight guys."
Everyone responds, "Goodnight, Meg." and Gary, pretending to be asleep, just smiles.
==Author's Notes==
*The chapter title is a reference to an old CD my grandparents used to have. If I remember correctly, it was called "Science Is..." and featured science-themed children's music. I've since been unable to find any record of this CD online, so I'm convinced it's either out of print or I completely made it up.
**The chapter was originally titled "Science Is... Un-Fun."
*In the earliest draft of this chapter found in my notebook, Meg was going to lead the charge to get Gary voted out. Between that and Helga being reluctant to vote Gary, I was presumably planning some sort of Helga/Gary romance and a rivalry between Gary and Meg.