The Protectors of the Canonical Worlds/April Fools/2021

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Protector Trek:Canonical Worlds Multiverse
Deric:..Alright, another Sue down! Let’s warp back to HQ now..
Celia:Already got it, partner.
And so, the two PCW agents had finished yet another mission.. But what happened next was quite the surprise..
|NOTICE:A WORMHOLE HAS BEEN DETECTED, AND PULLING HQ INSIDE IT.|
Deric:And looks like we’re in for a multiverse trek. Of course. Who knows where we’ll end up? Probably about to meet our counterparts.
Celia:How is this even possible? Doesn’t HQ have the tech to, y’know, STOP this?
Deric:Yeah, but the narrative forces have prevented them of even thinking about that. Ever since Ex Machina found out about the PCW... things have gotten hectic.
Celia:Ex Machina? You mean the entity responsible for the Idiot Ball?
Deric:Yep, the same one alright.
Celia:..I TOLD you World Prime wasn’t supposed to learn about us! So why did you post the mission logs?
Deric:Ex Machina probably would’ve discovered us regardless. And also, Ex Machina will also make sure this organization never falls. Though, now I’m having second thoughts..
Celia:Unless it’s decided it’s time for the finale and wants this place to fall dramatically..
And HQ falls into the wormhole..
|-|Enforcers of the Canon and Balance=
E!Celia:Looks like we’ve got a wormhole..
E!Deric:So we weren’t alone.. But, are our visitors friend or foe?
*Celia and Deric fly out of the wormhole. Somehow, the rest of PCW HQ does not.*
Celia:Depends.. what’s your goal?
E!Celia:To enforce the canon, and the balance between good and evil.. Those on World Prime write fanfic.. some of it contradicting canon.
Celia:Oh, so you’re like us? Neat, we also don’t like it. How do you fix the uncanon and kill the Sues?
E!Celia:You LET them be created? SERIOUSLY?! We go to World Prime, and whenever we see someone about to make a badfic, we stop it from getting published!
Deric:..WHAT?! You’ve got to be KIDDING me! How do you even tell if a badfic is bad BEFORE it affects the world? Do you stop ALL fanfic? If so, that’s a bad move, as goodfic actually IMPROVES the canon of a world! If not, what do you do when a badfic slips through anyway?
E!Celia:Simple:Our computers create a model of the canon, inject the draft fic into THAT, calculate the plot foam variance caused by a fanfic.. if the variance is too high, the fic is blocked. If it never goes out anywhere, it can’t affect canon!
Celia:That’s not accurate enough! Plot variance IS NOT what makes badfic bad! “What if” stories aren’t badfic, fanfic about a time alluded to but not focused on in canon with a different mood to the main story isn’t badfic! But saying the Fellowship left at dawn rather than dusk IS points against that fic! Conflict between two mutually exclusive rules, events, etc while claiming to be within the canonical confines is what results in a distortion, which we can only detect AFTER the distortion has already existed! And yet instead of focusing on how to fix distortions, you believe you can detect all distortions, and ONLY distortions, accurately enough for the net effect of preventing the fic from existing at all to be BETTER than just killing Sues when they appear, fixing distortions when they appear?
Celia:Also, how are the writers supposed to improve if they never learn their fanfic is bad, or WHY? Many great fanfic writers where we come from USED to write badfic!
E!Celia:Your method has even worse problems! While there are indeed potential goodfics with high plot varience, the odds do get further and further against it the higher the variance is.. but do you recall? When canon gets distorted too much, it loses what made it a unique world in the first place! If it’s warped too much, it, in essence, ceases to meaningfully EXIST, being entirely REPLACED by the bad canon! Do you not recall what happened to Romeo and Juliet? Now said world has been distorted so much that the canonical death of Romeo and Juliet barely has any probability amplitude left! The canonical ending has VANISHED! 
E!Deric:Ironically, turns out Romeo and Juliet did die after all, since now all that’s left are character replacements.
Celia:We’ve collected the data. It’d take at least 1.21 kilo-Eschers to cause that kind of irreversible distortion.. and it’d need to have 1.21 kilo-Eschers AT ONCE. If we assign agents to worlds right when a badfic starts causing distortions, they have plenty of time to fix the problem before it even gets close to that amount.
E!Deric:Y’know Celly, she seems to have a point..
E!Celia:Deric, WHY do you keep CALLING me that?
Deric:Heh, I’m not the only one who’s thought of that name..
Celia:That’s literally just your counterpart.
E!Deric:No, he’s MY counterpart!
E!Celia:Technically we’re each other’s counterparts. Both of you Derics are correct.
|BEEP!!!|
E!Celia:Oh, a mission! Goodbye you two! *heads to her RC*
E!Deric:Aw, and just when things were getting good..
The wormhole returns, and sucks Celia, Deric, AND E!Deric in..
|-|???=
Celia, Deric, and E!Deric pop out in an HQ vastly different than either of them are used to. The colors are exact inverses, and the HQ matches the PCW’s layout, but right became left and left became right.
|IMPURFECTION SPOTED IN HQ!|
Deric:You’re right, notification. The spelling’s flawed.
Celia:I hope it’s not talking about US..
Deric:Okay, now you’ve virtually guaranteed that it’s referring to us. Nice job tempting fate!
Celia:*sigh*
M!Celia:Hi there~! Ooh, looks like you two haven’t became PERFECT yet! Don’t worry, we always help those in need!
Celia:Who ARE you guys?
M!Deric:We’re the Protectors of the Uncanonical Worlds. We make sure that the canon worlds gets changed up to remove all darkness and evil from them!
Deric:Er, isn’t it get? Since you used a plural?
M!Deric:You knew what we meant! We don’t find grammar all to important. Or even important at all whatsoever!!!1
Celia:Oh goodness.. An HQ full of bad grammar, protecting uncanon. That me is glittery and shiny.. TOO shiny.. Are these Mary Sues?!
M!Celia:I dunno what a “Marty Stu” is, but if you mean someone who’s utterly perfect in any way imaginable, then YES!!!
E!Deric:...Did we just find out where Sues are before they’re written in a fanfic?
Celia:Sues DON’T exist until they’re written in a fanfic.
Deric:We’re probably in the Mirror Universe. Or.. Mirror Multiverse technically.
Celia:Oh great, we’re in a bad Star Trek parody.
Deric:Well, at least now we have an idea how to get back out!
Celia:How? HQ is GONE! Sucked into the first wormhole!
M!Deric:.. I dunno what a “mirror universe” is, but.. we need this place to be perfect again. BRING OUT THE PURIFIER!!
Deric:.. oh no.. A Sue-Phantom!! RUN!!
And thus starts a Scooby-Doo door chase between the phantom, and Celia and Deric.
Celia:How did they even summon Sue-phantoms? We’re not in a fanfic!
Deric:This is the mirror multiverse. They’re just as good at wrecking canon as we are at fixing it. And they seem to be able to get it to work here, just like our disguises can still work in HQ.
Deric:Oh look! A conveniently placed teleporter! We know where we’re from, so coordinates, and.. *SWOOSH*
M!Celia:.. Why isn’t the Purifier following them? ..They’re GONE?! HOW?!
M!Deric:Maybe they-
[BEEP!!]
M!Celia:Well, got a mission.. time to make things perfect again!
|-|Epilogue=
Celia:Wait.. we’re back in HQ? Wasn’t it gone before?
Deric:Looked like it, but know how somehow only the two of us ended up with the Enforcers?
Celia:Yes?
Deric:HQ must’ve passed through it without going inside.
Celia:... EX MACHINA!!!!
Celia:This was a very dumb plot.
Deric:I guess you could say it was. *chuckle*
E!Deric:Wait.. how do I get back to MY HQ?!
Deric:.....
Celia:......
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Happy April Fools!
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