Transcripts 2003-09

Transcripts from September 2003 strips.
==September 1==
Panel 1Close-up of Anne's hand sliding her ID card through a reader, which "BEEP!"s as a green light lights. The card has a Cook Industries logo next to "ENTERPRISES"this and the meeting room monitor are the only instances of the company being called "Cook Enterprises" so it is either an early branding that changed or an oversight, with Anne's picture on the right and a data block below the logo readingMISS ANNE WINTERS02334456or something like that, the text is smallACCOUNTSAnne (thinking): Shit! It works! I'm shitting bricks here! Why the hell does Cook want to see me?Anne (thinking): That guard didn't help with that cleavage comment ether!Panel 2Anne glares as she waits.Panel 3Same as panel 2, but Anne looks down as she touches her shirt.Panel 4Same as panel 2, but Anne looks at the camera with resignation as her ears fold back, the first button of her shirt undone.
==September 5==
Panel 1Anne steps off the elevator to the 21st floor and stares up at the ceiling, her tail wrapped around her legs.Anne (thinking): Wow!Panel 2Side view of Anne as she continues looking up, although her head is not lifted in this panel.Anne (thinking): Maybe I've been in the cubical farm too long...Panel 3View from behind Anne as she again stares upward, leaning her head back as she considers a very large steel door in front of her.Anne (thinking): Because THAT is what I call an office door!
==September 8==
Panel 1Anne looks nervous as she raises a fist to the door.Anne (thinking): I guess I just knock then...Panel 2View from behind Anne as the door slides apart diagonally, opening from the middle with a "<SHWICK>" in a particularly sci-fi manner.Panel 3Silhouette of Anne against the hallway lighting from the point of view of the camera inside a very blue room with rough highlights everywhere.Anne (thinking): This is turning out to be like one of Richard's cheesy sci-fi flicks!Anne (thinking): Actually it's not. I'd be fucking a well-hung guy in green makeup by now if it was!
==September 12==
Panel 1View from behind Cook as he sits at a desk with some papers in hand. Anne's silhouette is visible in the distant background. A lit banker's lamp and a number of envelopes are on the desk. A chair smaller than Cook's sits across from him. The rest of the room is blue with highlights around assorted objects in the room.Cook: Ah! Come in Miss Winters! Take a seat! Excuse the mess but I don't usually entertain in my office and I don't trust the cleaners enough for them to be come in here.Panel 2Anne stares up at the ceiling as Cook talks. A server with a yellow object on top is in the background.Cook (off-panel): You see Miss Winters, in this room there's equipment holding information worth billions of dollars to our competitors.Panel 3Cook side-eyes the camera as he folds his ears back in annoyance. He is wearing the Cook-branded shirt he wore at the meeting.Cook (thinking): And yet everyone goggles at the pretty, flashing LEDs on the fifty-dollar switch box every time I say that!Anne (off-panel): OOoo!
==September 15==
Panel 1View of Cook from the visitor's seat opposite him. Cook has clasped his hands together, elbows on the desk, in a contemplative pose. There is a lit banker's lamp on Cook's right, a folder of documents on his left, and a letter and envelope in front of him.Cook: I'll get straight to the point Miss Winters. I've wanted to experiment with the idea with my employees working at home for some time, and now I believe it's a viable option. I've picked you as one of our beta testers for our new home office system.Panel 2180 view of panel 1, looking over Cook's shoulder at Anne, who sits in her chair nervously. The envelope is now on the opposite side of the letter from in panel 1 (likely an artistic oversight).Cook: Before you ask, it's your home location that was the main factor of my decision, as it has some truly unique features!Anne: Really?Panel 3Close-up of Cook looking at the letter.Cook: Yes, Littlehampton is the most remote, featureless place we could find that still had broadband access. British Telecom understands the concept of a captive audience it seems!
==September 19==
Panels 1-2Side view close-up of Cook looking intently at Anne. Side view close-up of Anne looking backward over her shoulder.Cook: You'll be generously compensated for the extra workload involved in the beta test, so are you interested?Anne: Well... Um... I...GOOD! I'll have one of my men around to your home tomorrow to install the system! Good day Miss Winters.
==September 22==
Panel 1Cook stares down at his desk.Smith (off-panel): Has she left?Cook: Yes.Panel 2Silhouette of Smith behind Cook, who is smiling smugly.Smith: Was this all strictly necessary? You scared the poor girl witless!Cook: A throne is only a bench covered with velvet Smith! BUT it can be used to intimidate people, so they think twice about saying "no"!Panel 3Close-up of Smith looking contemplative.Smith: Now why aren't I surprised at hearing the old Maytec lackey quote Napoleon? Listen Cook, I don't like you!Smith: So I'll gut you like a fish the second you stop playing with straight dice doctor! Ya hear?
==September 26 (beginning of Year 6)==
Redrawn Panel 1Two darts are at the top of a dartboard, with a third one joining them with a "DINK" sound. There is a notice board and a fruit machine game in the background.Off-panel: YES!Redrawn Panel 2Richard grabs the darts.Richard: That's it Norman! You can't beat 80 with one throw!Off-panel (Norman): Watch me!Redrawn Panel 3An axe flies through the air, leaving afterimages and landing in the dartboard with a "TWAK!"Off-panel: That's 20, triple 20 AND 20 again! 100!Panel border (reading vertically)5 YEARS OLDPanel 4Richard gestures in confusion, while Norman looks down smugly, eyes closed.Richard: Whoa! Do you ever get déjà vu?Norman: For screwing you for free drinks? All the time mate!
==September 29==
The Church of Poisoned Minds
Panel 1Scribbly Al looking over his shoulder in annoyance at the camera while sitting at his desk with a monitor with one giant window reading "I H8 U!"Al: Though the classic mix of technical failure and system bugs, my sight did a time warp back to February and I had no FTP access to fix it at the time. So I thought, "fuck this noise" and did this Church strip while listening to "Hate the World Day" by the Wildhearts.Panel 2Al is smiling and holding up a sheet of paper with "DUH!" at the top of it.Al: Now that I'm suitably bitter, I thought it would be a good chance to lay into one of my few hate mails. They're all retarded so I rarely bother with them, but I thought it would funny to rip into this fuck-stick in public!TranscriptionSubject: hey!!!From: Dussell dussel@tds.netwow that dictator test was really immature and lame!!Yes it's immature. It's called "humour" you poster child for abortion! Dig trough the old take-out boxes on your floor and under your sofa, propping up one of the legs is a book called a "Dictionary". Try it!wowee! all you do there is give us ur uneducated opinion,without really telling us anything about anything!!!Wow, I'm getting called uneducated by someone with the grammatical skills of a 5-year-old! Boy that fucking stings! Yes the test says nothing, but guess what cum-stain? IT'S NOT FUCKING MEANT TOO! It's a piss take of some of the most horrible men in history! And yes Bush is in that category for me. Anyone who averages 15 minutes of "thinking" time (Bush? Think for himself? That's a fucking joke right there!) to sign death warrants is a fucking horrible person in my book! God, some people are just too fucking stupid that they mistake the "winning" result like Stalin as my political views. Stalin was evil, heartless and completely insane and anyone with half a brain can read between the lines to see that I felt that!a lotta words about ur political view and ignorance and you don't really say anything..it takes talent to be that stupid, i am impressed!Now read what you just "typed", if you can call it that. Do you really think you've achieved anything, other then make me laugh at you? Here's a handy hint: When calling someone stupid, don't give them proof that you're an arm flailing retard! Also I'm not surprised you're impressed. I bet you're impressed by anyone who can make it through the day without shitting their pants! Please stop existing! You're stealing oxygen away from people more deserving!Hugs and kisses;- Al
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