Cann'tabis

Cann'tabis is the fortieth episode of SBFW Quest. It aired on April 20, 2020, and is written by FireMatch.
==Transcript==
(The gang is starting to walk back home)
Matchy: Man, smell that fresh air, and that- blech. What is that stench?
Crazy: Did I forget to-
Matchy: Not that, this! (she points to a cannabis plant)
Purple: Is that weed?
Crazy: Do they usually smell like this?
Matchy: Apparently they did back in the middle ages.
Crazy: We should bring it back home.
Matchy: I’m no gardener, Crazy.
Crazy: Man, if only Jasbre was here. He has his own gardening show.
Matchy: Crazy, he’s the whole reason we walked through the woods in the first place.
Crazy: o.
Purple: Back in Alaska, we used to grow weed all the time.
Matchy: Really?
Purple: Lol, no. But I do know how to take care of it.
(Purple carefully pulls out the plant and holds it in his hands)
Matchy: That looked easy.
Purple: It isn’t. Let’s go.
(The four of them run towards home)
(Meanwhile, Jasbre is at another Fandom meeting)
Member 4: So, that plan was a success.
Member 6: Sort of… 
Jasbre: Good. I don’t want them knowing that I work here.
Member 5: My mom still doesn’t know I work here.
Member 1: My cat doesn’t know.
(Everyone stares at Member 1)
(Jasbre smells something in the air)
Jasbre: Does anyone smell weed?
(The others shrug)
Jasbre: I get it first then! (he runs out of the meeting, out of the building, and tries to find the scent)
(He sees that there's an obvious spot where a plant was pulled out)
Jasbre: That isn't the proper way to pull out a weed. Whatever. I just need to find that plant to bring justice!
(He starts running… somewhere)
(Meanwhile, back at Fanonland)
Purple: Whew! That was one tough cookie… well, I can make one after we grow this plant some more.
Matchy: Good job there, Purps.
Crazy: Once I get my hands on this drug, I’m gonna-
(Crazy imagines himself living in a cloud house full of Cheerios. Matchy pokes his thought bubble out of existence)
Crazy: Hey! I was enjoying myself!
Matchy: Now’s not the time. We gotta take care of the plant first.
Crazy: When is the fun part?
Matchy: I actually have no clue. But it’ll happen, trust me.
(We see Jasbre sneaking up to the Fanonland gates, after randomly searching for the plant)
Jasbre: My ducky senses are tingling. Wait a second… (sniffs some more) It’s in… my home town.
Crazy: My gut is telling me someone is watching us.
Matchy: Duh, it’s Fandom.
Crazy: No, not them. Someone else.
Matchy: You mean-? Nah, not possible. He doesn’t even know we’re here now. I think?
(Jasbre hears this conversation)
Jasbre: They’re onto me. Gotta make this infiltration sneaky and swift.
(He silently goes over the fence, and enters Fanonland grounds. No one notices a thing)
Purple: Okay. The first thing we need to do is give the plant plenty of water. (he pours an entire bucket over the cannabis plant)
Jasbre: No, NO! You can’t do that!
Purple: Next, we set it out in the sun. (he sets the plant on the ground, near the road)
Jasbre: That’s dangerous!
Purple: Finally, the worst part: we wait.
Jasbre: This is awful. He isn’t taking care of it properly. Not that I can tell him or anything, since I’m probably not welcome right now. But still!
Purple: Time to do other things, like… y’know, I never realized how little we have to do during spare time.
Matchy: We can always write more stories.
Purple: I already wrote 27 today.
Matchy: I still have no idea what 27 means.
Purple: The world may never know.
Jasbre: Now’s my chance.
(He jumps out of the bushes he was in, and swipes the plant)
Jasbre: There you are. You’ve been abused, haven’t you? (laughs) I know the answer to that one.
(1 hour later… )
Purple: What the frickety FU-
(Credits scene plays)
(Back at the Fandom building)
Member 4: You know you can’t have that here, right?
Jasbre: Uhh… it’s for medical reasons.
Member 4: Nice try. Leave it outside.
Jasbre: Fine. (he puts the plant outside in the rain)
(Meanwhile, at the cave…)
Doctor Bugs: Ah, it sure is good not being in Fanonland anymore.
Swaner: You’ve said that 10 times in the past week. What’s up with you?
Doctor Bugs: I dunno. In other news, am I the only one that thinks this cave is a bit lacking?
Swaner: Yeah, there’s not enough Eevee…
Doctor Bugs: Not that. I meant, more people are returning to Fanonland. Squidnerd and Polar are prime examples.
Swaner: I had no idea Polar returned.
Doctor Bugs: I only just got the news from a buddy of mine.
Tyce: Hey guys, what’s new?
Doctor Bugs: Man, you’re barely active, even IN the cave.
Tyce: What can I say? I only join a couple times a year.
Ponyo Fan: I just revealed that I’m actually a boy and not a girl. Being a former king of Fanonland and saying that isn’t very reassuring.
Tyce: (spits out air) You’re a WHAT?
Ponyo Fan: If Polar can do it, then so can I.
Tyce: That’s… different.
Swaner: Y’know, I’m old enough to go back to Fanonland now, but I can’t be bothered. I like it here.
Gene Scallop: Hi fuckers!
Swaner: Not this shit again-
Gene Scallop: Hey, I know where you live!
Swaner: I know…
Gene Scallop: Here! NYUK NYUK NYUK NYUK
Bluebunny: I’m gonna say the n word…
Swaner: Blue, NO!
Bluebunny: Nacho cheese.
(Everyone groans as the episode ends)
Category:Episodes
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Category:SBFW Quest
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Category:2020 Episodes
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