Snowglobe Team

"Dear Sarge: kicking ass in outer space, wish you were here!"
This article, , is a work of humour, and is not in any way intended by the author to be taken seriously. If you feel that this article is not an appropriate use of the humour template, please be sure to find information regarding the use of the Humour Template by visiting this page before making such a claim.
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"Snowglobe. We're the Biggest, Baddest Spartans around"
"Who are you talking to?"
"Shut up!"
-Killer-A259, interrupted by Rat while talking to himself.
==The Team==
In an alternate Universe, resided Snowglobe team. In a time when the very survival of Humanity was at stake, they were called in. Made up of one Spartan-II and five Spartan-III's Snowglobe team was potentially the most lethal spartans around at the time, mainly because due to many, many 'accidents', were the only Spartans left alive. Knowing that their side was losing badly by 2552, the UNSC blamed Snowglobe. So, Snowglobe hijacked a Dimension-Displacement device, or DDD, which allowed them to travel between their universe, and another. They also stole several prototype Short-Range Teleporters. After a series of Mishaps on Reach, where Snowglobe met their even-more capable doppelgängers, Noble Team, whom they planned to kill, Snowglobe were all killed in action. 
Their actions indirectly allowed Noble Team, more specifically Noble 6, to deliver the AI fragment of Cortana to the UNSC Pillar of Autumn, thus buying Humanity the chance it needed to win the war. So, Snowglobe Team did what they failed to do miserably in their own dimension: Save mankind.
The Layout of Snowglobe at the time of the Fall of Reach was:
Killer-A259 
"I'm the badass leader of the pack, you don't mess with me and li-... wait, is this thing on?"
Rank: Commander
Current Status: KIA (Switched places with opposite, at the wrong time)
Bio: The Team leader, Killer Quickly Scored a Reputation of being a psychopath, killing friendlies and allies and enemies without discrimination. He secretly harboured an inferiority complex against almost everyone, except Ghost-A239, who even Killer saw as being pathetic. He was the only member of the team that bothered to read the mission Data, and even so, he interpreted it in his own way. For example, when asked to destroy intel regarding the location of Earth, he did so, but incinerated several ONI officials, a Rear Admiral and thirty marines defending the site. 
After his plan of stealing the DDD succeeded, to his surprise. Snowglobe Team were able to escape, leaving their newest addition, Snowglobe Six, to the arresting UNSC forces. He came up with another plan to kill off Noble Team and take their place. This of course, failed, ending up with him accidentally switching places with Carter-A259 at the worst possible moment, crashing his Pelican into a Scarab.
Killer was also very sensitive regarding his Haircut and Beard, which according to him, he did himself. He was also superstitious, in an odd way, believing that Ghosts could speak to people through mirrors. His avoidance of mirrors led to him not noticing the Monobrow on his forehead. None of the team mentioned it.
After the teleporter swapped their places, his 'good' double, Carter-A259 wandered through what was left of Reach for some time, before encountering an angry Snowglobe Six, after an epic confrontation, Carter was killed, having been mistaken for Killer.
Rattatrina 'Rat'-B320
"Stupid name, stupid face, I just hope she can't hear me, she's stolen the last five of my paychecks"
Rank: LT. Commander (Due to hacked records)
Current Status: KIA (murdered by Ghost-A239) 
Bio: Rattatrina, or 'Rat' for short, was brought into snowglobe after a mission, that, thanks to her, ended inn the deaths of most of her company. Like her 'Good' counterpart, Catherine-B320, She expressed a love for knowledge and computers. However, most of her hacking seemed to lead into her Superior Officer's Bank account. On Reach, she and the rest of Snowglobe were able to hijack a Phantom, from which she was actually able to snipe and kill Catherine-B320. As she celebrated for getting the first Kill on Noble Team and winning several credits from Ghost-A239. In retaliation, Ghost pushed her out of the Phantom, causing her to fall hundreds of feet to her death. As she fell, she grabbed Ghost's horns, pulling them off.
She hated her given name, blaming her parents for 'trying to think outside the box'. 
Ton-A266
"The only reason he's a sniper is because he's too lazy to move his fat ass onto the damn battlefield!"
Rank: Warrant Officer
Current Status: KIA (Fell to death after teleporter accident)
Bio: Supposedly the team sniper, Ton was actually a terrible shot, usually having to fire at near point-blank range in order to hit his targets. He would usually become quite upset if someone criticised his marksman skills, calling himself a 'Quick Scoper'. He even painted a red dot on his forehead, saying that 'all the best snipers did it'.
Out of armour, it was revealed that he wore a rubber face mask, and his armour hid his huge frame. He had previously been second place at a Moa Burger eating Championship, and left in shame after losing, taking up the identity of a Spartan to hide from his past.
When he followed the rest of the team into the other-dimension Reach, he simply followed orders from Killer and kept quiet. However, as Killer and Ghost began Pursuing Carter-A259, Emile-A239 and Spartan-B312, Ton stole one of Killer's short range teleporters in an attempt to kill Jun-A266, who was escorting Dr. Catherine Halsey. However, he plotted the coordinates wrongly, materialising several feet above the pelican Jun was Flying. He was able to hold on for several moments before his weight dragged him down, falling several thousand feet to his doom.
Ghost-A239
"Sometimes, I think that people like Ghost were made just to be laughed at. I mean, seriously?"
Rank: Warrant Officer
Current Status: KIA (Killed by Elite Zealots after impersonating Emile-A239)
Bio: Known as the most 'idiotic member of the team, Ghost was assigned to Snowglobe after he was rejected by all other units. He was hated by all of his squadmates, and often given the simplest, most trivial tasks. For some, unexplained reason, he was born with two cow horns, and his bears brew through his helmet. In an attempt to look 'Cool' he carved a skull onto his visor. However, all this served to do was make him almost blind while wearing his helmet. He followed Killer to the alternate universe with the rest of Snowglobe, and upon arrival, set out to kill Noble Team. He was unable to do so, however, despite being given many opportunities. He was prone to outbursts of childish tantrums, such as when Rat-B320 killed her 'good' Counterpart. He pushed Rat off the Phantom to her death shortly afterwards. As she fell, she yanked his horns off.
His one moment of glory came when, shortly after Killer-A259 accidentally got himself killed, he found his own counterpart, Emile-A239, while he was wandering around the area, lost and confused. Ghost ran at Emile screaming, and as Emile turned to shoot him, he tripped, diving headlong into Emile and knocking him off a ledge, making him land on his back several stories down. Happy at this achievement, Ghost went to check on the dying Emile, who, for his last words, recited a line of classical poetry, then died. Ghost then travelled upstairs to Emile's destination: The Mass Driver Gun. He manned the gun well, destroying several Phantoms and Banshees, until two elite Zealots dropped in on him. Ghost killed one with a shotgun, before the other stabbed him. Ghost pulled out his Kukri, which had never been used before, and stabbed the elite, saying his final, stupid words to it: "I'm ready, how about You!?". He then dragged the elite to the floor. He reactivated his shields and stood up, only to find an intense pain. He looked down at the sword wound in his chest,fell back, and died.
Ghost never showed his face to anyone in his team. When he takes his helmet off he is always seen to be wearing the same skull patterned Balaclava, as shown in the picture above. According to himself, he hadn't taken off in nine years.
Frederick Oppenheimer Robert Gerald Edison- F.O.R.G.E-052
"I have nothing to say about Forge. And that is not because he is pointing a rocket launcher at me."
Rank: Chief Warrant Officer
Current Status: KIA (Used as cover in an orbital drop by Spartan-B312)
Bio: Upset by the Obscenely long name his parents gave him, Frederick shortened his name to Forge. He was assigned to Snowglobe Team after he got into an argument with a group of ODST's, who set off his extremely short temper. By the time he was done, they were cleaning up the three men with a mop.
Snowglobe turned out to be the perfect team for Forge. Everyone on the team was afraid of eachother in equal measure, and Forge's Large stature made him even more intimidating than the team leader, Killer-259. It was actually Forge who had the team renamed to 'Snowglobe', as he disliked the name 'Team Killer'. No one objected to the change. In 2552, Forge followed the other teammates in their escape from the UNSC and into another dimension using the DDD. 
In their plot to kill off and replace Noble Team, Forge was the first to die. He hijacked a Pelican, and used it to fly up to the covenant ship, Ardent Prayer, where Noble Team members Jorge-052 and Spartan-B312. However, as he attempted to jump from the back of his pelican to the hangar bay where the enemy Spartans were. He failed, missing the ship by an inch. Moments later, Noble Six was thrown from the ship, and began to drift towards Reach. Taking the helpless Forge for a piece of debris, Six held onto him as a shield as he made his freefall into Reach's atmosphere. The landing killed Forge instantly, but allowed Six to survive and make his way to New Alexandria.
He styled his hair into a pompadour for reasons known only to himself. Anyone who questioned his choice of hairstyle was immediately killed in a variety of nasty ways by Forge.
Snowglobe Six
"What kind of name is XXX, anyway? I mean, XXX's always being so secretive, what an XXXXXXX. Wait, now they're inking me? Those motherXXXXXX's!"
Rank: <CLASSIFIED>
Current Status: <CLASSIFIED>
Bio: Not much is known about the newest member of Snowglobe Team. XXX was transferred from XXXXXX Team to the team in XXXX, and was immediately XXXXXXX by the rest of the team due to XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX. Fortunately, XXX was not able to follow the rest of Snowglobe into the XXXXX XXXXXXXXX with the XXX, and was XXXX XXXXX XX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX to the XXXX XXXXXXX. 
XXX attempted to XXXX XXX XXXX XX XXX XXXX but they XXX'X XXXXXX. However, XXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX had XXXX XX'X way to XXXXX, and was busily XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX. XXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXX and XXXXXX a XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXX the XXXXXXXX forces, successfully XXXXXXX them back and XXXXXXXX a XXXX in the eyes of the people.
XXX managed to acquire a XXX and giving XXX XXXXXXXX the XXXXXX, used it to XXXXXXXX to the XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, where XXXXXXXXX Team had XXXXXXXXX to not long before. XXX XXXXXXXXX to XXXXX, and found only a XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX. XXX XXXXXXXXX for some time before coming across the XXXXXX of XXXXX XXX. XXXXXXX, it had a XXXX in it, and so XXX XXXXXXXXX it. After XXX XXXX, XXX then found XXXXXX-XXXX, and after mistaking him for XXXXXX-XXXX, XXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXX XXXX him. XXXXXX fought bravely, and was able to XXXXXX XXX XXXXXX XX was XXXXXXX through XXX XXXXX by XXX XXXXXX XXXXX.
XXXXXXX and XXXXX, XXX XXXXXXX to XXXXX the XXXXXXXX before the XXX. XXX XXXXX an XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX and XXX XXX in it, XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX a XXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX. XXX XXXXXXX down the XXXX, XXXXXXXXX, but XXXXXXX, XXXXXX past the XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX and off a XXXXX.
An end truly worthy of any member of Snowglobe.
==Trivia==
*This team was made as an obvious Parody of Noble Team, hilighting several things the author dislikes about Noble Team, especially Emile
*Being 'Evil Counterparts' to Noble, all of Snowglobe team have evil Goatee-shaped Beards, even Rat-B320.
Category:Humour