Lost Verizon/Quotes

:(Barney is imaging Principal Skinner as a giant beer can)
:Barney: I'll clean you up good, giant beer can!
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:(Bart is collecting golf balls in at the Springfield Golf Course.)
:Bart: Wow! I'm just twenty balls away from a cellphone!
:Greenskeeper Willie: So it's you! Ye're the one who's been poachin' on me territory!
:Bart: Groundskeeper Willie?
:Greenskeeper Willie: Weekends and summers, I'm Greenskeeper Willie! Yer ball-scavengin' days are over. And those orphaned golf balls belong to me! (snatches away the basket of golf balls) Pimple gold... I'm rich! Now I won't have to pleasure a country club wife... to get me steak dinner! (exits)
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:(Bart prank calls Hawaii.)
:Hawaiian Bartender: Aloha.
:Bart: Aloha to you. I'm looking for Maya. Last name Normousbutt.
:Hawaiian Bartender: Hang on. I'll check. Uh, has anyone here seen Maya Normousbutt?
:(Bar patrons laugh.)
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:(Bart's found cell phone rings)
:Bart: Yo. Who's this?
:Denis Leary: Denis Leary, you little puke! I'm gonna rip out your heart with two fingers! They taught me how to do it for my show!
:Bart: Which one? The one that got canceled, or the one that's gonna get canceled?
:Denis Leary: You are so dead!
:(Bart and Milhouse laugh.)
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:Bart: I'm never gonna have a cell phone.
:Lisa: And I'm never gonna go to Machu Pichu. In this family, you get used to disappointment.
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:Principal Skinner: I can't believe I'm out of gas. I put in one dollar of gas and I've only driven ninety cents.
:Agnes Skinner: You had to drive with the windows open, didn't you, Rockefeller?
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:Bart: Mom, even Milhouse has a cell phone. Your son is lamer than Milhouse! What does that say about you?
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:(Bart is at Lisa's tea party)
:Bart: I don't know why I agreed to this.
:Lisa: Because you like the taste of my imaginary tea.
:Bart: Oh, you're right.
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:Lisa: (seeing what her parents are up to) Tracking software? (gasps) You're spying on Bart!
:Marge: Honey, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
:Moe: (Listening to Marge via his own bugging device in the basement) That's right my beautiful, beautiful Midge. (Laughs) Soon, you'll be mine.
:FBI Agent #1: (observing Moe via spy camera) Keep talking, creepo.
:FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
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:(Dr. Hibbert gives Bart money after retrieving his golf ball.)
:Bart: A dollar? What for?
:Dr. Hibbert: It's the least I could do. These balls cost five dollars new.
:Bart: So I can get a dollar for every ball I find? Then if a cell phone costs $100, how many balls do I need?
:Dr. Hibbert: (speaking aside to Dr. Riviera, his caddie) This is why my kids go to private school. (Laughs)
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:Marge: That laughter sounds like the result of misbehavior. (She ask Bart) Bart, how did you get a cell phone?
:Bart: Same way you got me. By accident on a golf course.
:Marge: (Grunts) Whose phone is this?
:Bart: You'll never get it out of me!
:Marge: Okay. (She ask Milhouse) Milhouse?
:Milhouse: It's Denis Leary's! (He talks to Bart) I'm sorry, Bart. I'm desperate for any signs of adult approval.
:Marge: You did the right thing.
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:Marge: Sweetie, we can't afford to get you a cell phone. As it is, I'm buying frozen peas in installments.
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:(Bart then calls Australia)
:Australian Bartender: I got a Drew P. Weiner here. Anyone expecting a Drew P. Weiner. I hold in my hand a Drew P. Weiner.
:Australian Patron: Better put it down then, mate.
:(The patrons laugh and the bartender is upset.)
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:Bart: Viagra… 5 dollars a pill? Whatever it is, it’s going into Skinner’s coffee.
:(Later)
:Skinner: (after drinking the Viagra-laced coffee) What is in this coffee?
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: (Bart then calls Sweden)
:Swedish Bartender: Ja? I shall inquire. Is there a Mr. Maifren-Sergei? First name Olaf. Attention everyone: All of my friends are gay.
:(Patrons laugh)
:Swedish Bartender: Wait a minute. If I ever get a hold of you, I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavour.
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:Constipated Gorilla/Denis Leary: No longer must we live in shame, let the decree go forth, EVERYBODY POOPS!"
es:Lost Verizon/Frases
Category:Quotes
Category:Season 20 quotes