Mr. Barns & Nobles

Episode 4 of The Sampsons
== Transcript ==
Humer: Boy I love my job. Working at the power plant is so fun.
(Guns are surrounding him)
Humer: Yep, great job.
Smoothers: Mm, Humer, the boss wants to see you, come with me.
Humer: I hope I get a raise.
(they go up and up and up the elevator)
Mr. Barns: Smoothers, who is this man?
Smoothers: You said you wanted the dumb yellow guy.
Mr. Barns: No that was the guy next to him! 
Smoothers: Sir please forgive me it was an accident-
Mr. Barns: I cannot accept that. (Pulls out rifle and shoots) Much better.
Humer: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW MY NAME?
Mr. Barns: I cannot recall a thingy
Humer: REMEMBER IT BITCH
Mr. Barns: Homer Simpson
Humer: ARGHHAAAAAA (pushes barns out the window)
Mr. Barns: (while falling) Homer Simpson Homer Simpson Homer Simpso- (splat) ouch
Humer: SO LONG MOTHERFUCKER (blows up the power plant)
Mr. Barns: Oh my I need new job. But where? (sees Barnes & Nobles ad) Oh yes I can work at that book store, I’d be great at that.
(a few hours later)
B&N Employee: so lemme get this straight, you’re an evil madman who tortures his employees that owned a power plant and was a millionaire. Is this all true
Mr. Barns: Yes
B&N employee: your hired
(a few minutes later)
Red Flanders: Yes hi diddly ho neighborino do you know where the books about demonic rituals are?
Mr. Barns: I think that’s in the basement.
Red Flanders: Ah, I thank you very diddle much. (rips open the floor, creating a portal which looks like hell, and jumps in) Visit me when you eventually join!
Mr. Barns: Hot, im going to hell.
(another customer walks up)
Jeesbra: Hello fine sir! Do you happen to know by chance where all the books about the show, “Zoony Toons” are? Because-
(another customer pushes Jeesbra out of the way)
Tevis: It’s my turn now, crooked black fuck. 
Mr. Barns: Welcome to Barnes and Nobles. What do you want. Hurry up or I shoot
Tevis: where do you have the masturbation books
Mr. Barns: The Terrible Travis, this is not an appropriate topic to be asking about on FANDOM, regardless of whatever your personal opinion. Please stop bringing it up.
(Bert walks up)
Bert: wat’s up kool dawg nartical gnarly fish from the ocean man, i need to know for, uh, health class about the puberty and masturbation books, where are they?
Mr. Barns: Over there. Have fun!
Bert: tanks
Tevis: wha
Mr. Barns: Yes what is it
Tevis: youre a damn fool (walks away)
(one more customer approaches)
CrazySponge: hey do you know where the books on the show “the sampsons” are?
Mr. Barns: the what
CrazySponge: y’know, the show you’re in
Mr. Barns: I’m in a show. I’m not real. Heh. 
(head explodes)
CrazySponge: Fuck I Killed Him
(end)
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