Decisions Made

Decisions Made is the 52nd episode of Assertive Acquisitions. It is dedicated to practical missile testing and applied sarcasm. 
Splitsie improves his missile swarm to let them lock onto a target before being released, and talks us through the steps, which sound perfect. Capac moves a large ASSERT thruster from a wreck to the SkyWarp's stern while TFE replaces light with heavy armour on his H-Tram. 
As they leave hurriedly to attack a passing Skippy, all missiles shake and drift off without fuel and without a target. Mission aborted. TFE accidentally paints his ship green cowmooflage and regrets it instantly.
Splitsie finds out that his missile AI confusingly triggers blocks in all missile from the same blueprint, across grids. The next test missile flies straight into the SkyWarp's aft thrusters — luckily, the warhead wasn't armed. Needled by Capac's sarcasm, Splitsie laughs it off with a "shutupshutup..." 
They watch NPC ships aggro each other nearby until a FiteBrite and a Thumberbird suddenly turn and speed towards their position. Against a barrage of rockets, the SkyWarp is as agile as a fish in a barrel... TFE hurries to activate the jump drive. The point defence barely manages to take out the NPCs before he can set a new jump target. The next missile test is mildly successful but the NPCs get some more shots in at poor TFE. The missile platform has taken out more enemies than the missile. 
The third missile test against a Gnat proves that they need a better way to watch the test results... Cameras on missile get destroyed too fast and cameras in their speeding fighters lose track. They capture the Gnat with TFE's assistance. While they are discussing boarding techniques, Capac's Schnozz gets hit in the side by missile debris; Splitsie uses the captured Gnat to ram the errant missile. On the way back, he racks his brain trying to debug the missile problem. Capac claims a passing Military Minelayer is upset that Splitsie is stealing his job of making minefields... 
Splitsie concludes his missile are too slow and outsmarted by the enemies' point defence. Capac suggests installing anti-point defence point defence on them that makes the missiles shoot rockets. 
They make one last missile test and take out the target ship. But the cost of missiles needed doesn't scale with the size of ships they can take out. Splitsie makes the decision to use these missiles only against practically static targets, because "they are not the droids he is looking for." Instead he wants to focus on building point defence drones. 
As the Green Menace carries a looted thruster, it starts shaking as if it were haunted, and Splitsie has to jump in and switch off the inertia dampeners. 
They sell the captured wrecks at the trade station to buy explosives/magnesium. On the way there, the Schnozz is damaged by their own turrets trying to shoot the wrecks. The station offers high-risk transport contracts but Capac is allergic to work. Back on the SkyWarp they wrap up and TFE gets killed again in the airlock door. 
==Trivia==
Splitsie ignores the "fire" on the drones because he knows they are not really on fire. It's an active exhaust effect to keep the missiles visible to the audience and players against the sky. 
==Quotes==
Capac: Can I have a robot butler? - TFE: What, you want a cheese and hand grenade sandwich?
Splitsie: YOU wanna be a target? — Capac: If it's YOUR missiles hitting me, I take those odds.
Splitsie: I've got the Gnat. Unfortunately it's now also ours, which makes it no longer suitable for target practice. - Capac: Why not? You managed to hit our ship last time... - Splitsie: (lol)
Splitsie: Do you guys want to give the missiles their one last hurrah to see if they work, and if they don't, I scrap them altogether? - Capac: SURE. I just fly in through that big HOLE in the side of my ship.... - Splitsie: (laughing) You're so good at making things sound so bad. - Capac: They are! This is the worst space expedition I've ever been on! It's an omnishambles!