Butterfinger/Commercial transcripts

This is a list of Butterfinger commercial transcripts from only the show. Non-Simpsons Butterfinger commercials not included.
==No Teasing==
(Bart closes the door and enters a room with a couch and TV where Maggie and Lisa are playing. Bart has a Butterfinger in his hands.)Bart: Behold! The last Butterfinger in the whole house, and I have it.Lisa: Dad says no teasing.[Bart holds the Butterfinger up for Maggie and Lisa to get.]Bart: Na-na-na-na-na-na! [Before Maggie and Lisa can get the Butterfinger, Bart pulls it away, making Maggie fall over.]Bart: Whoa![Bart takes the Butterfinger out of the wrapper.]Bart: Check out the smooth chocolatey outside, [A clip from the the 1987 Butterfinger commercial is shown] the crispity, crunchity, peanut-buttery inside.Lisa: Dad says if you make us scream, you're dead meat.Bart: You wouldn't scream.[Lisa takes a deep breath.]Lisa: DAD!!!!!!!![Bart gives Lisa part of his Butterfinger, and she crunches on it.]Homer: Now what?!Lisa: [with her mouth full] Never mind.[A screen with a Butterfinger on it appears. The words "Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!" appear above the Butterfinger.]Bart: [voiceover] Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger![The screen disappears and Maggie takes out her pacifier and points her finger in her mouth. Bart stares at her.]
==The Butterfinger Group==
Milhouse: Hey, Bart, wanna trade lunches?Bart: No way, dude. I've got each of the four food groups: Sandwich group, cow group, jungle group, Butterfinger group.Milhouse: Hey, there's no Butterfinger group.Bart: Au contraire, Mon frère. The Butterfinger group provides the crunchy peanut butter and chocolatey taste essential for survival. (Note: in 1990, a clip from the 1987 Butterfinger commercial is shown in version 2)Milhouse: I don't have the Butterfinger group.Bart: Looks like you could die of malnutrition, dude.Announcer: Peanut buttery Butterfinger.
(A screen with a Butterfinger on it appears.)Bart (voiceover): It’s Neato. (Note: version 2 aired in 1990 had the same shot from the "No Teasing" commercial.)
Announcer: And It’s Neato.
Bart (voiceover, version 2): Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!
==The Bully==
(Nelson approaches Bart.)
Nelson: Hey! Paper bag-head!
Bart: Aw, man! I'm dead meat on a stick.
Nelson: How much money you got, Simpson?
Bart: A dollar and three cents, Mr. Bully, sir.
Nelson: Keep the change.
Bart: Thanks, man.
Nelson: Think I'll take that Butterfinger too. Haw haw!
(Nelson walks off, and opens his mouth to eat the Butterfinger. Bart rides along on his skateboard.)
Bart: Think again, Nelson. (He snatches the Butterfinger from Nelson's hand.)
Bart: Ha! (He goes up a tree on his skateboard. Cut to Butterfinger sequence.)
Announcer: Get a crispity, crunchity peanut buttery burst in every bite of Butterfinger!
(Cut back to Bart up on a branch.)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
(Nelson's hand shoots up from out of shot, but before he can grab the Butterfinger, Bart holds it up in the air with his pinky out. Off-screen, Nelson falls to the ground with a thud.)
==Therapy - Up a Tree ==
Dr. Marvin Monroe: Look at this inkblot, Bart, and tell me what you see.
Bart: A Butterfinger.
Dr. Marvin Monroe: And this one?
Bart: Another Butterfinger. (He pulls out his Butterfinger)
Dr. Marvin Monroe: Just as I thought. Your obsession with this so-called Butterfinger, and be overcome only by sharing the very object you hold most dear!
Bart: Speak English, doc.
Dr. Marvin Monroe: I want that Butterfinger!
Bart: You need help, man.
(Cut to Butterfinger sequence)
Announcer: Crispity, crunchy, peanut buttery Butterfinger!
Dr. Marvin Monroe: (Bart leaves Monroe's office on his skateboard with the Butterfinger in hand) Wait, boy!
Bart: Sorry, man, (He takes two bites of his Butterfinger) but nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
[Fades out, and fades in to a packets of Butterfinger BB's with 15 of the bb's out of the packers. A couple of seconds later, one of the BB's crackers has has a bite in it, revealing the bubble chocolate that's inside it.]
Announcer: And try new Butterfinger BB's!
[Bart and Lisa sitting beside a tree. Bart has a Butterfinger BB's packet in his hand and shakes all the BB's from the packet for this hand]
Lisa: That's was inside?
Bart: Get it, Lisa! (He eats the bb's and swallows it, while Lisa looks at him in disappointment.) Mmm. [The scene fades out.]
==The Shock ==
[Homer makes his entrance to the bedroom and tries to grab his Butterfinger, unaware it is wired to an electrical current.]
Homer: Ooh, my little buddy's sleeping like a baby. You won't mind if I take a bite of his crispity, crunchity peanut bu-aaaah!
[Bart turns the light on and shows he was actually awake the whole time.]
Bart: I told you, Homer...
[Cut to a screen with a Butterfinger on it. The words "Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!" appear above the screen and bites the Butterfinger. The screen then fades out.]
Bart (voiceover): ...nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
==Box==
Apu: At last, they're here! New Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars!
(Apu opens the box and finds Bart inside, eating the bars.)
All: Ooh.
Bart: Hi, dudes.
(Cut to Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars sequence.)
Apu: Crispity crunchity outside, creamy ice cream inside.
(Bart gets thrown out of the Kwik-E-Mart by an angry Apu for eating all of the Butterfinger ice cream bars)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger...Huh-uh! (A thud is heard as Bart begins to say the slogan, but grunts because he was thrown out)...on my Butterfinger.
[A screen with the Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars box appears. The words "Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!" appear below the box. The box jumps a bit when the thud is heard. The screen fades out.]
==The Pacifier==
(Bart is on the couch. He opens his Butterfinger packet.)
Bart: Mmm.
[Homer sits next to Bart and corners him.]
Homer: Bart, I'm going to open my mouth and close my eyes and you're going to give me a big surprise!
(Bart steals Maggie's pacifier then puts it in Homer's mouth. Cut to a short Butterfinger sequence.)
Announcer: Crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery Butterfinger!
(Cut back to Homer and Bart in the family room. Maggie's pacifier is still in Homer's mouth, and Maggie tries to get it.)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
(Maggie pulls her pacifier out of Homer's mouth.)
==The Last Butterfinger==
(The Simpsons make their entrance to the grocery store. Marge pushes the cart inside.)Bart: Open sesame.(The door opens and Homer chuckles.)Raphael: (over loudspeaker) Hey Joe, we're down to the last Butterfinger.Both (in a split screen): (screams) The last Butterfinger?!(Homer and Bart both run to get the last Butterfinger.)Homer: Ah-ha!(Bart arrives at the other end of the aisle.)Bart: Ah-ha.(Homer and Bart both run for the Butterfinger, and Homer snatches it off the stand.)Homer: Heh, heh!Bart: Hey!(Homer walks off when he trips over Otto's shopping cart and the Butterfinger ends up flying in the air while Maggie watches it flying above her. Bart chases after it.)Bart: Simpson going deep!(Bart reaches for the Butterfinger when Homer launches himself on top of Bart, and they both land on a till's conveyor belt. Cut to Butterfinger sequence.)Announcer: Get a crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery burst in every bite of Butterfinger!(Cut to the outside of the store where Bart is riding on top of the shopping cart, that Marge is pushing, eating his Butterfinger. Everyone apart from Homer watches Bart, apart from Homer, who is sulking.)Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!(Bart takes a bite of the Butterfinger.)
==The Karate Lesson - Best Friend==
(Akira finishes off Milhouse with a push while a karate class is in session at the Springfield Martial Arts Academy.)
Akira: Hee-yo!
(Bart takes his Butterfinger out of his karate uniform and opens it)
Bart: Mmm!
(Bart is about to eat his Butterfinger but Akira is about to begin with Bart's lessons)
Akira: Ah! Now for the little spike-headed one!
(Bart notices Akira and puts his Butterfinger away. Akira stands beside Bart.)
Bart: Uh-oh.
Akira: First lesson.
(Akira grabs Bart and throws him towards a mirror)
Akira: Hee-yoo!
Bart: Ungh! Hwaaa!! Oomph! 
(Akira leans over Bart and has his hand out.)
Akira: Lesson number two...
(Akira grabs Bart's hand and spins him around really fast with both hands. He throws Bart on the floor, causing the Butterfinger to come out of Bart's uniform and land on the floor.)
Akira: Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Bart: Whoa! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oof! Oww...
(Akira notices the Butterfinger and is about to grab it.)
Akira: Ah! Now, we take Butterfinger break.
(Bart sees Akira about to take the Butterfinger, so he gets up and kicks Akira's right leg as he's about to put the Butterfinger in his mouth. Then, Bart does somersaults and grabs the Butterfinger just as its about to land.)
Bart: Waaaaahhh...
Akira: Ooh!! Ahh!!
Bart: Hiiiiiiiiiyaa!
(Cut to Butterfinger sequence)
Announcer: Crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery Butterfinger!
(Cuts back to the karate class. Akira is laying on the floor with his arms spread out, and his legs bent over, revealing that Bart defeated him.)
Bart: Lesson number three... (He bites his Butterfinger) ...nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!
Akira: Ohhh. Awww...
(Fades out, and fades in to a bucket of Butterfinger Ice Cream Nuggets with five of the nuggets out of the bucket. A couple of seconds later, one of the nuggets has a bite in it, revealing the ice cream that's inside it.)
Announcer: And try new Butterfinger Ice Cream Nuggets!
(Cut to Milhouse and Bart in the kitchen. Bart takes out a nugget while holding the bucket in his other hand, while Milhouse has his hands out for a nugget.)
Milhouse: I'll be your best friend.
Bart: You already are. (He eats the nugget and swallows it, while Milhouse looks at him in disappointment.) Mmm, gulp! (The scene fades out.)
==Angel Bart, Devil Bart==
(Fade in to Bart sitting beside a tree. Bart has a Butterfinger BB's packet in his hand and shakes all the BB's from the packet into his hand.)
Angel Bart: (Pops in next to Bart's left side of him) Mmm! Ooh, Butterfinger BB's! Why don't you share 'em?
Devil Bart: (Pops in next to Bart's right side) Just eat 'em!
(As Angel Bart and Devil Bart argue about whether Bart wants to share or eat his Butterfinger BB's, Bart looks at each of them as they argue)
Angel Bart: Share 'em!
Devil Bart: Eat 'em!
Angel Bart: Share 'em!
Devil Bart: Eat 'em!
(Cut to Butterfinger BB's sequence, where we see Butterfinger BB's dots bouncing towards us and a couple of them crack open to reveal the inner surface of the BB's. The dots bounce towards a Butterfinger BB's packet, which makes small creases as the dots go inside it. The packet then closes itself, and an upside down triangle with the word "NEW!" on it pops out from the packet in front of us and then pops back on the packet's design.)
Announcer: Crispity, crunchity, Butterfinger BB's! They're new! (Cuts back to Bart and Devil Bart.)
Devil Bart: Come on, man! (Slaps Bart in the face) Eat 'em all!
Bart: Hmm... OK! (He eats the handful of Butterfinger BB's from his hands, then faces Angel Bart) Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
(The scene fades out.)
== One Less Sister==
(Fade in to Bart, Lisa, and Maggie in their kitchen. Bart has his math book open in front of him with two other books holding it and has his homework with him along with a pencil in his hand. Maggie and Lisa are standing next to Bart. A packet of Butterfinger BB's are on the table with fifteen BB's on the table.)
Bart: Hmm...
Lisa: Math is easy. Let's say you have fifteen Butterfinger BB's. (She shuffles the fifteen BB's into three rows of five.)
Bart: Mm-hm.
Lisa: And I take five of them. (She grabs a row of five BB's and has them in her cupped hands. Bart looks at the two rows of the BB's left on the table.) What do you have left?
(Bart grabs the five BB's Lisa had and pushes them into the other BB's while leaning over towards Lisa and Maggie and letting out a fist.)
Bart: One less sister!
(Cut to Butterfinger BB's sequence, where we see Butterfinger BB's dots bouncing towards us and a couple of them crack open to reveal the inner surface of the BB's. The dots bounce towards a Butterfinger BB's packet, which makes small creases as the dots go inside it. The packet then closes itself, and an upside down triangle with the word "NEW!" on it pops out from the packet in front of us and then pops back on the packet's design.))
Announcer: Crispity, crunchity, Butterfinger BB's! They're new!
(Cuts back to Bart. He now has two of each of his four books on each side of him, showing that he needs privacy. The Butterfingers BB's packet and Bart's pencil are on the table in front of Bart. He has his BB's by him and has one in his hand. A BB rolls by Maggie and she takes it.)
Bart: (with his mouth full) Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
(The scene fades out.)
==The Beach==
(Fade in to Bart at the beach. He's pouring the last bucketful of sand onto Homer, then throws the bucket away. The camera zooms out to reveal that Homer is covered in lots and lots of sand, looking like Homer's body is really fat and huge.)
Bart: Try to get up, Homer.
Homer: Nnngh! I can't!
(Bart grabs a Butterfinger from a gym bag and takes a bite out of it.)
Bart: Too bad, man.
Homer: Eeerr! Eeerr!! Why you little! (He tries to strangle Bart, but he is in the huge sand pile causing to not get out. He tries to get out one last time, but two crabs come out of the sand and one of them pinches his nose.) Rrgh!! AH! CRABS!
(Cut to Butterfinger sequence)
Announcer: Crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery Butterfinger!
(Cuts back to Homer and Bart. Bart is seen with sunglasses on his head and has sunscreen on his nose while relaxing in a lounge chair. Homer is still in the huge sand pile while one crab is on his head and the other on the sand pile trying to pinch his face.)
Bart: (takes a bite out of his Butterfinger) Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger. (He lifts his sunglasses up a bit, then puts them back down.)
Homer: Nngh! Eehh, Bart! (The shore crashes onto the surface, causing one crab to disappear and the other to stay on Homer's head while he gets his mouth soaked with the water) Ahh, aaahhhh, uuuuggggh!!
(The scene fades out)
==Bart's Locker - Treasure Hunt==
(Bart opens his locker to get a Butterfinger from his Butterfinger box, closes his locker, and takes a bite. Seymour Skinner and Edna Krabappel sneak on Bart while he walks away whistling with his Butterfinger.)
Edna Krabappel: What did I tell you, Principal Skinner?
(Skinner stands up and grabs his pliers, then uses it as a demonstration.)
Seymour Skinner: It's time we cut off Simpson's Butterfinger supply!
(Skinner and Krabappel laugh in unison as they walk towards Bart's locker. Skinner uses his pliers to remove the lock from the locker, and see the Butterfingers Bart has in his locker. Skinner grabs the Butterfingers and he and Krabappel look at each other greedily. Suddenly, Bart jams both of them into his locker.)
Bart: Ha, ha, ha!
(As the school bell rings for passing period, Milhouse, Ralph Wiggum, Sherri and Terri, Martin Prince, Wendell Borton, Lewis Clark, Smug Girl, Girl with glasses, Becky, Nina Skalka, Lewis' lookalike, and other students are walking down the hallway to Bart's locker, where he is about to show Skinner and Krabappel in his locker.)
Bart: It's showtime!
(Bart opens his locker to reveal Skinner and Krabappel inside his locker all jammed up. All of the students, except Bart and Milhouse, are laughing really hard. Milhouse takes a couple of pictures of Skinner and Krabappel stuck in the locker with his camera.)
[Cut to Butterfinger sequence]
Announcer: Crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery Butterfinger!
(Cuts to a closeup of an issue of the Daily Fourth Gradian that has the headline "SKINNER IN SCHOOL SCANDAL" accompanied by one of the pictures of him and Krabappel stuck in the locker that Milhouse took. Zoom out to reveal that Bart is holding the newspaper, and has his Butterfinger in his other hand, while Groundskeeper Willie pushes the locker out of the building with his hand truck.)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger. (He takes a bite of his Butterfinger.)
[Fades out, and fades in to a packets of Butterfinger Snackerz with 30 of the snackerz out of the packers. A couple of seconds later, one of the Snackerz bites has has a bite in it, revealing the snackers, that's inside it, and an upside down triangle with the word "NEW!" on it pops out from the packet in front of us and then pops back on the packet's design.]
Announcer: And try Butterfinger Snackerz! They're new!
[Bart walks off when he trips treasures.]
Bart: Awesome! Butterfinger is back! [Maggie closes a that then takes eats a the Butterfinger Snackerz inside.] Grrrr!!
[The scene fades out.]
==Maggie's Party==
(Fade in to the Simpsons' kitchen with balloons and a banner on the cupboards that says, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAGGIE!". Maggie is celebrating her birthday with two other babies, Marge is staring at something, Bart is sitting on the counter and is eating the last couple of the Butterfinger Ice Cream Nuggets, and Homer is getting the bucket that the nuggets were in from the freezer, not noticing it is empty.)
Homer: Ooh, I bet you kids would like some of these new Butterfinger Ice Cream Nuggets! (He shows the bucket to the camera and points at it, then looks at Bart, who is eating the last nuggets.)
Bart: They sure would have! (He eats one of the last ice cream nuggets)
Homer: Would have? (He looks inside the bucket, revealing there are no more ice cream nuggets due to Bart eating them all, much to his dismay) D'oh!
(Cut to a Butterfinger Ice Cream Nuggets sequence where one bucket is dipping several nuggets on the surface, while another bucket is in the background. Fades in to a close up of a nugget getting bit.)
Announcer: Crispity crunchity outside, creamy ice cream inside!
(Cut back to the kitchen. Bart has one more ice cream nugget in his hand after he ate the second to last nugget, causing Maggie and the two babies to make a tower and trying to get the last nugget before Bart eats it, while Homer is looking through the empty bucket.)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
(Cut back to the bucket, with four ice cream nuggets on the surface. The words, "Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!" are below the nuggets and bucket. One of the nuggets turn into a bitten one. The screen then fades out.)
==I've Been Robbed==
(Fade in to Bart's bedroom. In the middle of the night, a robber (who's actually Krusty the Clown disguised as a robber, but because of a contest being held during that time, he wasn't revealed to the viewers until October 30th, and this commercial first aired 30 days before Krusty revealed himself to the viewers) opens up Bart's Krusty face safe which contains one of his Butterfingers. An alarm sounds as the robber steals the Butterfinger and tip-toes out of the room as a shadow.)
Bart: (Wakes up with a start) Ahh! (He notices his safe left open and gasps. He then calls the police on his telephone.) Police! I've been robbed!
(Scene transitions to Clancy Wiggum on the phone with Bart at his office in the Springfield Police Station.)
Clancy Wiggum: Ah, ya say it was crispity, crunchity, and peanut buttery? (An employee draws a Butterfinger wrapper on a dry erase board and shows it to Wiggum.) Oh, yum!
(Cuts to Otto, looking bored and tired, about to take his mugshot, then the screen flashes, meaning that the mugshot was taken. Otto's mugshot has him smiling and giving a peace sign with one hand while holding his name with the other hand, Lisa's mugshot has her with a mad expression on her face while holding her name with both hands, Krusty's mugshot has him pointing to his name while his expression looks like he's doing his signature laugh, Nelson's mugshot has him having a mean expression while he holds a fist with his left hand and holds his name with his right hand, and Mr. Burns' mugshot has a mad expression on his face while holding his name with his pinkies out.)
Announcer: Who laid a finger on Bart's Butterfinger? There are six suspects but only five alibis!
(Cuts to Homer, who's about to take his mugshot, but he is holding his name upside down and he's glancing his eyes to the right.)
Homer: What's an alibi? (The mugshot is taken, and Homer looks like he's not ready for it.) D'oh!
(Zooms out to a view of a wanted poster taped to a brick wall with a spotlight shining on it. It has the word "STOLEN:" at the very top, with a picture of a Butterfinger wrapper below the word. Underneath the wrapper are the six suspects' mugshots, and underneath those is the word "REWARD". A couple seconds later, the word, "$50,000" is placed onto the top of the poster.)
Announcer: Find out who doesn't have an alibi and you could win fifty thousand dollars!
(Cuts to a display with a Butterfinger 6 pack wrapper with promotional art that has to do with the contest, a regular Butterfinger wrapper with a promotional artwork of Bart for the contest, a Butterfinger wrapper opened up to reveal the alibi, and a Butterfinger bar, all are drawn instead of being live-action.)
Announcer: See these wrappers for details.
(Cuts to a scene where Clancy Wiggum and Bart are doing a lie detector test on Homer to test if he told the truth or not. Mr. Burns, Otto, Krusty, Lisa, and Nelson are seen in the background with cuffs around their hands.)
Clancy Wiggum: Name?
Homer: Somer Himpson! I mean Homer!! (Not noticing he switched around the first letters of his first and last names, causing the green light on the polygraph to switch to the red light, meaning that he lied about his name. Because of that, Homer gets electrocuted.) AHH!!
Bart: Ha, ha, ha!
(The scene fades out.)
==Crime of the Century==
(Fade in to the front of the Springfield County Court House, where several protesters (Abe Simpson, Ned Flanders, Maude Flanders, Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders, Groundskeeper Willie (actually holding up his rake), Barney Gumble, a woman, and the same employee from the previous commercial) are holding up Butterfinger signs, camera crew, and sounds of yelling are in the background, with Scott Christian reporting the scene.)
Scott Christian: The crime of the century has been solved! We're live from Springfield to find out who laid a finger on Bart's Butterfinger!
(Cut to the same poster seen in the previous commercial, and the word "$50,000" does its animation a couple seconds later, like the previous commercial.)
Scott Christian: And, who will collect the fifty thousand dollar reward?
(Cut to Clancy Wiggum, who's signaling Eddie to wheel out the thief who stole the Butterfinger from Bart.)
Clancy Wiggum: Wheel 'em out, boys!
(The thief, who is revealed to be Krusty the Clown a couple seconds later, is disguised as Homer Simpson with a Homer mask, white polo shirt, and blue pants, although his red shoes are seen. He is in a hand truck all tied up, and is wheeled out by Eddie.)
Bart: (thinks that Homer is the thief who stole his Butterfinger.) Homer?
(We pan down to Krusty's red shoes, revealing that he is the thief who stole the Butterfinger. Maggie sees the shoes, and crawls up towards the Homer mask, who pulls it off and reveals Krusty's head while he lets out a yell after the mask gets pulled off.)
Bart: (gasps, surprised that Krusty was the one who stole his Butterfinger.) Krusty!
(Cut to a view of Clancy Wiggum, Maggie, Krusty, and Bart. Krusty is amused about stealing the Butterfinger at Bart. Chief Wiggum and Maggie are staring at Krusty.)
Krusty the Clown: Hoohoohahahaha! (Bart moans at Krusty.) Eeeuuhh. (He hops towards the courthouse entrance's stairs, due to him being tied to the hand truck, who didn't notice that the stairs are there, causing him to fall down the stairs while grunting.) Hurt! Pain! (He then face plants on the sidewalk, where the same protesters from earlier, along with Jasper and Wendell Borton, are standing in front of him.) Uuuugghhhh.
Scott Christian: That's who done it! And here's who won the fifty thousand dollar reward!
(Cut to a spinning newspaper gag. An issue of The Springfield Shopper has the headline revealing who won the fifty thousand dollar reward, who turns out to be Nancy Fredholm, a real-life resident from Hudson, New Hampshire. The headline on the newspaper says, "NANCY FREDHOLM HUDSON, NEW HAMPSHIRE WINS $50,000 REWARD!".)
Bart: Nancy Fredholm from Hudson, New Hampshire!
(Cut to Bart, wearing a fedora and trench coat, who is taking a bite of his Butterfinger, while Clancy Wiggum is wheeling out Krusty, who now has an arm sling on his right arm, a head wrap on his forehead, and his right eyelid being all puffy and swollen, which are causes for Krusty's fall down the stairs and for his face plant.)
Bart: (with his mouth full) You're one effective detective, ma'am.
(The screen fades out.)
==The Blackout ==
(Fade in to the Simpson's living room, where Homer and Lisa are watching TV while Santa's Little Helper is laying down with a dog biscuit in his mouth. Lightning is heard and the screen flashes, while Santa's Little Helper lifts his head up and is listening to the lightning in an alert behavior. Bart comes in with his Butterfinger.)
Homer: (the lights turned into a blackout, and only Santa's Little Helper, Bart, Lisa, and Homer's eyeballs are seen on a black screen.) Huh! What happened to the lights?!
Lisa: It's just a power outage, Dad.
(The screen flashes, lightning is heard again, and we see Bart taking a bite from his Butterfinger while Homer gets scared a bit by the crunching sound of Bart, Lisa looks at Bart, and Santa's Little Helper still has an alert expression on his face.)
Homer: (gets scared from the crunching sound, then the screen shows their eyeballs again.) Huh! What was that?!!
Lisa: It's just Bart eating a Butterfinger.
Homer: Ooh, it sounds like he's right over... (The screen flashes and lightning is heard once again, showing Homer jumping to Bart's spot next to Santa's Little Helper, and Bart jumps to Homer's spot on the couch. As they take turns, Santa's Little Helper backs away from Homer, and Lisa is watching Homer and Bart take turns. Homer didn't catch the Butterfinger on time, because Bart still has it in his hand.) here!
(The screen shows their eyeballs once again.)
Homer: Ohh.
Bart: Ha, ha, ha!
Homer: Aww, how about a bite, little buddy?
(Bart, who still has the Butterfinger in his hand, takes Santa's Little Helper's biscuit out of his mouth, who yawns, and gives it to Homer, who doesn't know that he's eating a dog treat.)
Bart: Well, OK, Homer. Just one.
Homer: (takes a bite out of the dog biscuit, which is more crunchier than Bart's Butterfinger, and realizes that it tastes different.) Hey, this tastes just like a...
(The lights came back on in the living room. Homer sees the bite he made in the biscuit, which he freaks out about as crumbs come out of his mouth. Bart and Lisa watch, while Santa's Little Helper has a surprised look on his face and whimpers.)
Homer: ...DOG BISCUIT!!!!
(Cut to the Butterfinger sequence.)
Announcer: Get a crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery burst in every bite of Butterfinger!
(Cut back to Bart and Lisa, who are on the couch. Lisa is staring at Bart as he says the catchphrase.)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger. (He takes another bite from his Butterfinger.)
(Zoom out to Homer and Santa's Little Helper while Bart and Lisa are still on the couch. Homer is wiping the dog biscuit taste off of his tongue and Santa's Little Helper is laying down with his bitten biscuit again. His head lifts up and has a shocked expression on his face. As Homer wipes the biscuit taste off, he makes noises with his tongue out. The scene fades out.)
==The Raid==
(Fade in to a sleeping Bart. He wakes up to find that his wrists and ankles are tied to his bedposts, and looks confused.)
Bart: Huh? W-what the?
(Lisa pops up from beside his bed, with a greedy look and a box of Bart's Butterfinger BB's.)
Lisa: You're such a brat, Bart.
Bart: Moi?
Lisa: Yeah, you won't share your Butterfinger BB's. (She pours all of the "BB's" packets onto Bart's bed.)
(The scene clears up, and we see Marge, Lisa, Maggie, Homer, and Krusty, along with Bart's hands full of "BB's" packets, all seen from Bart's first person view. All five residents have their hands up, and have greedy expressions on their faces.)
Krusty: (swipes two armfuls of the "BB's" packets from Bart's hands.) So we're taking 'em!
(Bart gasps in fear about the idea that his family and other residents are taking his BB's. He sees Homer with one of Bart's BB's.)
Homer: Ooh, bite-sized! (He tosses it into his mouth.)
(Mr. Burns sits with his mouth gaping open like a baby bird as Smithers drops a few down into his boss' throat, one by one. Bart watches in shock.)
Smithers: Down the hatch, sir.
(Maggie successfully juggles six of them and Santa's Little Helper steals a few of them out of the air while Bart's hand tries to reach the BB's Maggie is juggling.)
Bart: No, Maggie, no!
(In a panoramic view, which is actually Bart's first person view looking at all the characters beside him, all of the invaders are pigging out on Bart's stash of Butterfinger BB's. Edna Krabappel, Marge, Smithers, and Apu are in the background in a still stance.)
Krusty: Hoohoohaahaahaahaahaahaa! (He holds up a BB's packet while doing his signature laugh.)
(Lisa tosses herself one of the BB's into her mouth.)
Homer: Ohh, ho, ho, ho, ho. (He admires at the huge, brown, tasty pile of Butterfinger BB's he's pouring in front of himself.)
(Mr. Burns is looking at Homer's BB's while putting his finger tips together.)
Otto: Groovy munchies, man! (He taps the contents of a BB's packet in his hand.)
(Cut to a close up of Bart's mouth, which is fully open as he screams. Zoom out to reveal that Bart just woke up from a nightmare, which is the scene the commercial had earlier.)
Bart: AHHH! (He looks on both sides of his bed to make sure none of his family and/or residents are there. He sighs in relief.) Whew!
(Cut to the Butterfinger BB's sequence]
Announcer: Grab a bunch of crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery Butterfinger BB's!
(Cut back to Bart, who has a drawer of Butterfinger BB's, but rather than sitting in a desk, the drawer is propped up sideways against his bed.)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger BB's. (He reaches into the pile, and a load of them topples out. A Krusty doll that was in the pile lands in Bart's lap, causing him to scream in fear as he drops his flashlight and his hands are away from the doll.) Ahh!
(The scene fades out.)
==Treehouse of Horror: Aliens==
(Fade in to Kang and Kodos are in their UFO, where Kodos is operating the controls while Kang watches on. A crunch sound effect is heard in the background.)
Kodos: (Hears the crunch and looks at Kang.) Kang, do you hear that?
(The monitor in front of them shows Bart eating a Butterfinger, which was the source of the crunching sound, while standing outside in the Simpson's backyard at dusk, but is in black and white on their monitor.)
Kang: Indeed, my sister. Look! (Kodos looks at the monitor while Kang watches.)
(Cut to Bart, who is outside, eating his Butterfinger. Kang and Kodos' UFO flies towards Bart and opens up the tractor beam, who looks up to see the UFO, and gets abducted while fidgeting rapidly as he goes up the tractor beam, holding his Butterfinger tightly.)
Bart: WhOOOOOOOAAAAHH!
(Cut to the Simpsons television, where Kent Brockman is reporting that a UFO has been spotted.)
Kent Brockman: UFOs spotted in Springfield!
(Pan over to Homer, who is watching Channel 6 News in the living room, while a window shows Bart getting abducted from Kang and Kodos.)
Bart: (in a muffled voice, as if he is heard from inside) Homer!!
Homer: Night, boy!
(Cut to inside the UFO, where Bart is now zapped into the UFO with a transport device while it flashes, causing Kang and Kodos to cover their eyes. They uncover their eyes as the flash dies out, and Bart looks at them while holding his Butterfinger.)
Bart: Whoaaa, alien dudes!
(Cut to a view of Kang and Kodos, who are facing Bart.)
Kang: You injest this earthly confection for pleasure! We shall study this Butterfinger.
(Bart looks at his Butterfinger, who is confused.)
Kodos: As well as you! (He points at Bart.)
Bart: Ehh, let me take it to my leader.
(Cut to a Butterfinger sequence)
Announcer: There's nothing like a crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery Butterfinger from Nestle.
(Cuts back to outside, where the UFO is back at the Simpson's backyard, but its now nighttime. This time, Homer is getting abducted by Kang and Kodos, while fidgeting as he goes up the tractor beam. The UFO struggles to abduct Homer, due to him being obese. Bart is coming back down from the UFO to the ground, and is in a relaxing pose with his Butterfinger.)
Homer: AHH! Aww, not again!
Bart: Night, Homer! (Cut to a close up of Bart) Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
(The scene fades out.)
== Hit a Homer==
==Philosophy==
== Carnival==
==Smell Your Breath==
(We see the top of Bart’s head, with a second Bart head, which turns out be a Butterfinger bar. We zoom out to reveal Bart on the tree holding the bar, and Homer jumping to get it out of his hand. Dogs barking and car alarms are heard.)
(The screen with the slogan, and a real Butterfinger bar appears being crunched. The screen shakes.)
Bart: Bite my Butterfinger.
Announcer: FROM Nestlé.
(We cut back to Bart on the tree, who just ate the bar and drops the wrapper on Homer’s body as he’s tired and he lays on the grass.)
Bart: All gone, Homey.
Homer: Aw, could I at least smell your breath?!
==ABC's==
:Homer: A, B...BB?
:Bart: Mmm.
: Homer: BB?
:(Lisa eats the Butterfinger BB.)
:Homer: C-BB?!
:(Cut to Butterfinger BB's sequence.)
:Announcer: Peanut buttery Butterfinger BB's. Is there any snack as crispity? No, there isn't!
:Homer: J... K... L... Mmmm...
:Bart: N-O.
:Homer: P-Q-R-S-T-U-W-X-Y, you little!
:Bart (voiceover): Butterfinger BB's!
:Announcer: From Nestle.
:Bart: Z ya later, Home boy.
:(Maggie takes her pacifier out of her mouth and puts her pacifier in Homer's mouth.)
==500 Easy Pieces ==
(Bart is watching the Itchy and Scratchy show, eating his Butterfinger.)
Singers: The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
(The logo cuts to the title card. In the cartoon, Itchy is disguised as a doctor, testing a Butterfinger on Scratchy.)
Itchy: Crispety! Mmm! Hit it!
(Itchy puts the earpieces of the stethoscope on Scratchy, he eats the Butterfinger, the volume of Itchy crunching the bar through the stethoscope causes Scratchy to shatter.)
Itchy: Hee hee hee hee!
Bart: Ha ha ha ha! Bite my Butterfinger! 
(A screen with the slogan appears, with a real Butterfinger bar being crunched. We cut back to the cartoon.)
Scratchy: From Nestlé! Ahh! (BONK! His eyeball falls as Itchy eats the bar. The commercial ends.)
==Plastic Underwear==
==Butterfingeritis==
:(For the first time, he said Nothin' Like A Butterfinger!. And it all starts off with Homer fails to steal Bart's uneaten Butterfinger.)
:Dr. Hibbert: Bart, you've got some unique activity in your brain's pleasure lobe. Diagnosis: Butterfingeritis. Hee-hee-hee!
:Homer: No cure?
:Dr. Hibbert: Afraid not.
:Bart: Cool!
:(Cut to Butterfinger sequence.)
:Bart (voiceover): Crispity, crunchity peanut buttery. Nothin' like a Butterfinger!
: Announcer: From Nestlé.
:Homer: Oh, why does Bart always get the good diseases?
==Bart's Nightmare==
:(Bart is in the candy aisle at the Kwik-E-Mart)
:Bart: Apu, where are the Butterfingers?
:Apu: Sold out.
:Bart: Huh?
:Apu: But try my other 350 candy varieties.
:Bart: I need the crispity, crunchity peanut buttery Butterfinger.
:Nelson: I'll give you four fingers!
:(Before Nelson can punch Bart, he instantly wakes up and sits in bed.)
:Bart: Aah!
:(Cut to a shorter Butterfinger sequence.)
:Bart (voiceover): Nothin' like a Butterfinger!
:Announcer: From Nestle.
:Bart: Ahh. My butterfinger.
Category:Quotes
Category:Transcripts
Category:Commercial Quotes