Craniovore

(redirected from Headbiter) 
A Craniovore is an alien life form that bites off the heads of humans and other life forms with heads and then feasts on their brains and eyeballs. 
Craniovores are typically 2-3 meters in height and every centimeter of their body is horrible, from the multi-legs that enable them to move as swiftly as the wind, to their multi-arms that pin their victims with no hope for escape, to their multi-jaws which snap their victim's head off at the neck and chomp their skulls into chunky pink-red mush. 
Where they come from, nobody knows. 
Craniovores can lie dormant in infested spacecraft or space stations for decades or centuries and reactivate when the ship or station is brought back on-line. At which point, they will lurk in dark areas of the station waiting for some poor son-of-a-bitch to walk in and say, "We should be perfecty safe in here." At which point, the Craniovore will leap from its hiding place, flare the multi-jawed mandible-orifice chomps down on its helpless victim, sometimes while holding him in its horrible claws. Then, it will move menacingly toward any other victims in the room and cut their screams short with swift and decisive chomps. 
Some studies of recombinant DNA from recovered headbiters suggests they are bioengineered life forms; possibly used as a bioweapon in one of the Middle Crusades, or whipped up in a lab as a practical joke by someone who was a complete bastard. Most religious authorities are of the opinion that if the Allbeing created the craniovore he must have REALLY been pissed off at somebody; while Strict Evolutionists simply point to the Craniovore and smugly say, "See, I told you so." (Not literally, of course, because Craniovores get really pissed when they are pointed at.)
Q. Are Craniovores intelligent? 
A. They are intelligent enough to sneak up and bite your head off, what else do you need to know? No one knows how intelligent they are because getting one to sit for a test is fatal to the proctor. 
===Q. What do I do if I am attacked a craniovore? ===
A. Die.
===Q. Well, okay, then, how can I defend against a Craniovore? ===
A. The only defense against a craniovore is to be a squad of heavily armed warfighters prepared to accept losses. 
Craniovores In fiction
The Craniovore appeared on an episode of 'Worlds Apart' where it munched on several minor characters before being ejected through an airlock by one of the major characters. 
A Craniovore-Selachimorpha hybrid terrorized the resort city of Kandor in the Sapphirean Schlock-Channel holofiction: Selacraniovore, also its sequel, Selecraniovornado. 
===References:===
Prime Commnder William Keeler was afraid that Starlock Chaputepec would be infested with craniovores (head-biters) (Worlds Apart Book 05: Aurora) 
Commodore Alexavier Wheeler remarked that new protocols were put in place after a ship docked at a Starlock infested with craniovores. (Worlds Apart Book 11: Charlemagne) 
 
 
 
Category:Horrible Things