Zathura: A Space Adventure/Transcript

Dad: Nice grab. All right, Danny, your turn.
Walter: What? l didn't get my full turn.
Dad: You did. l counted. That was 25. That's what we said. 
Walter: That's not fair. 
Dad: lt's exactly fair. Come on, Danny. Time for your turn, then l gotta work for an hour.
Danny: You know, you're not the only one who gets a turn.
Walter: ''The only one who gets a turn.''
Dad: Guys. All right. Keep your eye on the ball. You got it this time. Ready? All right, that's a good try. lt was a bad throw. lt's a bad throw. Sorry. My bad. Okay. Here we go. You can do this. Here we go. Ready? Okay.  A deep fly ball to the right field.  Clemente back, running on his horse real fast. Can he get it? Can he get it? 
Walter: Oh, and Milton Bradley with his dive-and-roll catch. Dodgers win.
Danny: You're such a dick.
Walter: What? lt was a great grab. 
Dad: Danny?  Danny? Danny, you should not be using that kind of language with your brother. 
Danny: But it's true.
Dad: Listen, kiddo, when l was  six years old- 
Danny: Six and three quarters.
Dad: When l was  six and three quarters... ...catching was hard for me too.
Danny: Well, it's not hard for Walter.
Dad: Well, Walter's  ten.   
Danny: So? He's still better than me at everything.
Dad: No way. He's not better than you at piano. 
Danny: l hate that stupid thing.
Dad: Someday you're gonna be really happy l got you that piano.   You'll be at a party, there'll be a pretty girl-- 
Danny: Like you and Mom?           
Dad: Look, Danny... ...you and Walter are different people. He's good at some things, you're good at other things. That's how people are.    
Danny: He beats me at everything.                 
Dad: Listen to me, this is important.   You're a very special kid. 
Danny: That's what people say when they can't think of anything.
Dad: You know how you always  make up games... ...and pretend to be characters? You have an incredible imagination. Amazing imagination. A whole universe of an imagination. And l use my imagination for a living, so l know what l'm talking about.
Danny: ls it better than Walter's?
Dad: What?
Danny: ls my imagination better than Walter's?
Dad: You're different than Walter.
Dad: Don't do that.
Walter: You wanna play catch?
Dad: We just played catch.
Walter: No, football catch.
Dad: l have to work for an hour.
Walter: But it's Saturday.
Dad: Tell me about it.
Water: ll you ever do is work.
Dad: Nice try.
Walter: This is so unfair.
Dad: Hello.  Bill, l am so sorry.   l'll call you back in two minutes. ls that okay? Thanks. l have an important meeting this afternoon. -l've-- l really have to be ready for it. 
Walter: You're going out?
Dad: Yes, l'm going out. Well, l'm going to a meeting. You're gonna be at Mom's house. She's coming to get you at  three.
Walter: We go to Mom's house tomorrow. 
Dad: No, today.
Walter: This is a four-day Dad week.
Dad: Three-day Dad week. Four-day last week... ...four-day next week, three-day this week. Four-day Mom week this week.                 
Walter: But that's not fair.
Dad: To whom?
Walter: To anyone.
Dad: I have to work.      
Walter: We'd have all the time if Danny wasn't around.
Dad: Well, Danny is around.
Walter: All right, five throws.
Dad: How do l put this? Let me think. l have to work.                  
Danny: Dad, l'm ready to play Smash Bros.            
Walter: What? You told him you'd play Smash Bros.?      
Dad: No, l didn't tell him l was gonna play Smash Bros.
Danny: You're playing catch with Walter?
Walter: He might if you weren't around.  
Danny: You're so mean. Everybody wants to ruin my life.
Walter: You never keep your promises.
Dad: There's only one of me, okay? l don't like this situation either,  it sucks, is what it does....but this is the best l could come up with.   So climb off my back and give me  about two inches of space, will you? There are some days, boys, when you gotta grow up all at once. l need today to be one of those days.
Danny: Wanna play Chutes and Ladders?
Walter: No, you'll cheat.                
Danny: Stratego?
Walter: No, you cheat at board games.
Danny: But you can't even cheat at Stratego.
Walter: Trust me, you'll find a way.
Dad: Hey. Sorry about that. Oh, no, no, it's fine. l'm not meeting him till three thirty, l can finish by then.    
Danny: Walter, look what l found.
Walter: Those belong to me. Put them back.                   
Danny: But you never play with them.
Walter: So? They're still mine.
Danny: When did you get so mean?                   
Walter: l'm not mean, Danny. l'm in fourth grade, I have a girlfriend. You know how Dad said we have to grow up?  Well, this is what it looks like.
Danny: Can we please play Army Men?
Walter: Copy that.
Danny: Sergeant, there is a helicopter on fire. Let's get it.
[In the office]
Dad: The drawings all match the foam mockup. Yes, red. Cranberry, right. lt's whatever color they picked. l worked from the chits. Can l call you back one more time?lt's a small domestic emergency here. l-- l-- l know. l know.
Walter: Dad.
Dad: lt's not a problem. Okay, thanks.
Walter: Look what he did.
Dad: l was on the phone.
Danny: lt was an accident.
Walter: You're such a baby.
Danny: l'm not a baby.
Walter: You break all my stuff. You can't catch a ball...
Dad: That's enough.
Walter: ...and nobody wants you around. 
Danny: You shut up!   l'm sorry, l'm sorry, l'm sorry. l'm sorry, l'm sorry. 
Dad: lt's  ten  minutes to the office. l have to run off another copy. l'll be back.                  
Danny: You're gonna leave us alone in this creepy old house?
Dad: lt's not creepy, it's old.
Walter: l like Mom's better.
Dad: Well, so did she, and now it's hers. Look, this is a very special house. The reason l'm working to fix it up is l wanna make a home for us here. Now, l know it's not Mom's house,  and l know it's a little creaky... ...but give it some time, it's gonna grow on you.
Danny: Well, l don't wanna stay here alone.                 
Dad: Well, you're not gonna be alone. l'm going to wake up Lisa.
Danny: No, don't wake up Lisa.
Walter: What, are you crazy?     Don't do that. 
Danny: She's sleeping. Let her sleep.
Dad: Honey.
Lisa. Honey. Get up. l need to go out. l need you to look after your two favorite people. Come on. 
Lisa: l can't. l have a date tonight.
Dad: What time?
Lisa: We're hooking up at, like,  eight,
Dad: lt's  two.
Lisa: So?                   
Dad: So that's six hours from now.
Lisa: What's your point?
Dad: l need you to look after the boys. By the way, it makes me uncomfortable when you say hooking up.
Lisa: Why? lt's not like it means anything.
Dad: Hope it doesn't.
Lisa: lt doesn't. lt's just an expression.
Dad: Hope it is.
Lisa: It is. God. We never should have rented Thirteen.
Dad: Keep your eye on them. Make sure they don't burn down the house. Okay?
Lisa: l'm not deaf.
Dad: What?
Lisa: Dad, okay. Fifteen minutes, just close the door.
Dad: Thank you.  
Dad: Yeah, yeah, yeah, l am. Yeah, hold on.
Danny: Hey!
Walter: Dad said no video games.  
Danny: He did not. Fine. Hey.  l was watching that.  Can't we watch SpongeBob?
Walter: No.
Danny: You used to like it.
Walter: Times change.
Danny: Tarter sauce. l'm hungry.
Walter: So, what do you want me to do about it?
Danny: Make me macaroni and cheese?   
Walter: l don't know how.         
Danny: l'm hungry.
What do you know how to make?    
Walter: Water.
Danny: How about if you and me play catch?
Walter: No.
Walter: You're dead!
Danny: l'm sorry, l'm sorry, l'm sorry.
Walter: Danny?   Where are you? Danny? Where are you, Danny? Danny? Where are you? There you are. 
Danny: l said l was sorry. Don't. No. Don't do that, it's not funny.
Walter: You'll be safe here till Dad gets back.                   
Danny: You're just jealous because Dad thinks l'm smarter than you. l didn't mean that. Walter. No. Pull me up. Don't.              
Walter: What's the matter, Danny?  Not still scared of the basement, are you? 
Danny: Walter! No, Walter! lt's not funny! No! Pull me up! Walter!
Walter: Three-year-olds are scared of basements.
Danny: You're really mean.
Walter: Dad said not to play in there.
Look what l found in the basement.
Looks dumb and old.
l like it.
Yeah, you would, it's for babies.
Walter, this is so cool. 
Check this out.
What's Zathura?
-Will you play with me?
-No.
-l won't cheat.
-Yeah, you will.
-A card came out. 
Fascinating.
''Me-- Mete-- Meor sho-- Meeor sh-- sho--'' Read this for me. 
''Meteor shower. Take evasive action.''
What's evasive action?
lt's when you get out of the way.
What exactly am l supposed to get out of the way of, exactly?        
l have no idea.
All it says is ''Take evasive a--''
Danny: Grandma. lt's meteors! Take erasive action!  Take erasive action!
Walter: Danny, in here. Danny, hurry up. lt's safe. Danny, come on. Hurry. Come on. Get in, get in.                  
Danny: l don't think we should play that game anymore.
Walter: That's weird.  lt only hit the living room.      
Danny: Wow, outer space.
Walter: No, that's just nighttime.
Danny: l don't know, Walter. Night never looked so close before.  
Walter: Wait.
Danny: Walter, check this out.   
[Walter and Danny steppde outside and saw that they are in outer space.]
Walter: Tell her.
Danny: You tell her.
Walter: You should, she won't freak out as much.
Danny: We shouldn't really even be in here.
Walter: Dude, we're in outer space. lt doesn't matter anymore.
Danny: Then you wake her.
Walter: Fine. Lisa.  Lisa. Lisa-- 
Lisa: Go away.
Walter: Lisa, you gotta get up.                   
Lisa: [wakes up] What's the rule about being in my room?
Both: We're not allowed in unless it's an emergency.
Lisa: And what's the emergency?
Walter: There was a meteor shower and everything got wrecked.    And we're out of this world and we don't know how to get back. 
Danny: We can't get back to Earth.
Lisa: Okay, shut up!
Walter: Just look.
Danny: Yeah.                  
Lisa: Oh, no.
Danny: What do we do?
Lisa: lt's already dark? l'm gonna be so late.
Danny: lt's not dark. 
WalteR: We're in outer space.
Danny: l saw Saturn outside.
Walter: Lisa, open up.
Lisa: Shut up and listen to me. Dad put me in charge until he got home. Which means you guys need to do what l say. Do me a favor. Go downstairs and stay out of my face.
Walter: But it's an emergency.
Lisa: ls the house on fire?
Walter: No.                 
Lisa: ls anyone hurt?
Walter: No, but--       
Lisa: Then leave.
Danny: Lisa, please. We're really scared. Can you just watch what this game does?
Lisa: lf this is some weird joke you guys are trying to pull, you're dead.
Walter: No, it's not a joke.            
Danny: Here, watch this. Watch this. Here.  Okay. So wind the key.
Walter: All right.   So now l'm winding the key. 
Danny: Yeah, see? And then push the button.
Walter: So l push it?
Danny: Yeah.
Walter: Pushing the button.
Danny: Then the number winds, and whatever the number is, like nine. Then your ship-- The blue ship… ...because the red ship is mine, and l got a five. So then it goes to nine, which would be that thing. All right. Then the card's gonna pop out. Here's the scary part.
Walter: ''You're promoted to a starship captain. Move ahead two spaces.''
Lisa: Fascinating.      
Walter: Lisa, no, no! Lisa! Wait, that one didn't count. lt's stuck.  
Danny: Maybe we have to take turns. See? lt was my turn.    
Walter: Four.
Danny: Yeah, four.  
Walter: Card. "Shipmate enters cryonic sleep chamber for five turns.:
Danny: What the heck does that mean?     
Walter: Lisa?      
Danny: Does cryonic mean ice?                   
Walter: Lisa.  Help.      
Danny: l killed her.
Walter: You didn't kill her.   She's frozen in cryonic sleep. l gotta melt her.
[Walter gets the blow torch]
Danny: Are you crazy?
Walter: We can't just leave her here like this.
Danny: Maybe we should read the instructions.
Walter: ''Zathura. Attention, space adventurers. Zathura awaits.   Do you have what it takes to navigate the galaxy? lt's not for the faint of heart.   For once you embark upon your journey... ...there's no turning back until Zathura's reached. Pieces reset at the end of each game. Play again and again for different adventures.'' That's it. We gotta keep playing.
Danny: l'm not playing that thing.
Walter: Yes, we are. lt says we go home if we win.                  
Danny: lt-- lt didn't say that.
Walter: Yes, it did. Pieces reset at the end of each game. That means we go home when we're finished.
Danny: All l know is that when we play this game, bad things happen.
Walter: All l know is that when l played, l got promoted. So l'm gonna win this and get us home.
Danny: Wait, can we stop--?
Walter: Don't be a baby.
Danny: l'm not a baby.
Walter: Look, eight, l'm halfway there. "Your robot is defective."
Danny: What does that mean?
Walter: Means my robot's broken.                 
Danny: But you don't even have a robot.
Robot: Emergency. Emergency. 
That's your robot?
At least l got one.
-Well, what does it do?
Anything l want.
Get me a juice box, beyotch.
-Don't do that.
-Why not? lt's my robot.                   
-You might make it mad.
-lt's   inches tall.
l'll punt it across the room.
My robot, the card says.
l never said it wasn't your robot.
You don't have to be such a jerk.
Dude, you're just jealous
l have a robot and you don't.
Why would l want--?
Robot: Emergency.   Emergency.   Alien life form. Must destroy.    
Danny: Walter, l think he's talking about you.
Robot: Alien life form.  Must destroy.
Walter: Danny, take your turn. 
Danny: There's no key.
Walter: Find it.                   
Walter: Take it, take it. Come on, hurry.    
Walter: Take your turn!  
Walter: Why didn't you go? l could have been killed.                 
Danny: l was scared. But it's okay, he's gone, isn't he?
Walter: Danny, take your turn.
Walter: Danny, give me the card.
Danny: lt's still moving.
Walter: Hurry up, Danny! The card.
Danny: What did the card say?   
Walter: "You pass too close to Tsouris 3! Enter gravity field!"
Walter: Danny!
Danny: Aahh!  
Danny: What? What happened?
Walter: lt's Lisa. 
Danny: ls she okay? Walter, do you think she's okay?
Walter: l guess. She's still in one piece.
Danny: What happened to the robot?
Danny: What are you doing?                   
Walter: l think it's dead.
Danny: Get up here.       
Danny: Do you think the door will hold the robot?                   
Walter: No.             
Danny: Great.                  
Walter: Yeah, once he fixes himself, we're screwed.
Danny: He's fixing himself?      
Walter: How should l know?
[They put Lisa back in the bathroom.]
Walter: Looks about right.    
Danny: You think she's okay?
Walter: l don't wanna be here when she wakes up.
Danny: Where are you going?
Walter: Taking my turn.
Danny: Are you crazy?
That thing's messed up.
Walter: ''You're promoted to fleet admiral. Move ahead four spaces.'' Okay, your turn.
Danny: l'm not playing.           
Walter: What are you doing?
Danny: Making mac and cheese.           
Walter: There's no water, dummy, we're in outer space. Why are you doing that?
Danny: Because l'm hungry and l know you're not gonna take care of me.
Walter: Don't bother, the gas won't work.
Danny: Any more advice?                
Walter: You've gotta turn it up more. Can we at least talk about this.                  
Danny: There's nothing to talk about, l'm not going.  
Walter: Danny, l just wanna go home, and l can't unless you play. Don't you wanna get home?  
Danny: What's so great about home, anyway?
Walter: What do you mean? Everything was great until you came along.        
Danny: See? You treat me like everything's my fault.
Walter: You're the one who pushed the button in the first place!
Danny: l just wanted to play  a game with you, Walter.
Walter: Fine, what do you want?                   
Danny: l want you not to be mean to me, not ignore me… ...and l want you to treat me like your brother.
Walter: Fine.
Danny: Do we have an understanding?
Walter: Yeah.
Danny: Wasn't that easy?
Danny: Six.
Walter: "You are visited by Zorgons."
Danny: What's a Zorgon?
Walter: l don't think it's bad. Just visitors.                   
Danny: Zorgons! 
Walter: Maybe they're friendly.         
Danny: They're not friendly!
Walter: The fireplace. Hide in the fireplace.
Walter: Run!   
Danny: Told you l didn't wanna go. You're the one who made me spin.                  
Walter: There's nothing else we could do.
Danny: Are you crazy?
Walter: Got any better ideas?           
Walter: "Reprogram?" What the heck does that mean?              
Danny: How am l supposed to know?             
Walter: Reprogram!
Danny: lt didn't work.
Walter: We'll figure it out later.    Go.   
Danny: No.
Walter: Go.               
Danny: No!
Walter: Go!     
Danny: ''Rest on standing AstroTurf.''
Walter: What?
Danny: Rest on standing AstroTurf.
Walter: Let me read it.
Danny: No, l know how to read -l know how to read. Let me read it. God.
Walter: "Rescue Stranded Astronaut." 
Danny: What stranded astronaut?
Walter: l guess there's gonna be some stranded astronaut or some--
Did you lock the door?
l don't know.
Adult Walter: Which one of you spun me?  Who was it?
Walter: Him.                   
Adult Walter: Don't be so quick to sell out your brother, kid.   He's all you got. Looks like you got a pretty serious Zorgon problem. 
Walter: Yeah, what do we do?
Adult Walter: Hide.
Danny: Hide? They'll just explode the whole house.
Adult Walter: We're gonna hide the house. Turn off all the lights and electrical appliances.        
Danny: Me?
Adult Walter: Yes, you. Go. Do it. You. Come on, kill that flame on the stove. 
Walter: Okay.   
Adult Walter: Burning gas. That's probably what brought them in the first place.  Okay. Now get the pilot light on the furnace.                  
Walter: What's a pilot light?
Adult Walter: ln the basement. Little blue flame under the big heater. Blow it out like a candle. Like this:
Danny: Walter, the astronaut guy is wrecking Dad's couch.    
Adult Walter: Come on.
Walter: That's Dad's nap couch.
Adult Walter: You wanna help me get this out of here?         Hit it.         Hit it.
Danny: What's happening?
Adult Walter: Come on. Take it. Follow it. Follow it.   There you go. That's it.   Zorgons.  They're big, gnarly lizards.   Cold-blooded heatseekers. And the tiniest spark of warmth will bring them in like moths. Flying all around the galaxy......looking for anything they could find to burn up.
Walter: Why don't they just burn up their own planet?
Adult Walter: Oh, they already did.   That's not even the worst of it. The real problem is their ravenous appetite. They never stop eating.                   
Walter: What do they eat?                   
Adult Walter: Meat.
Danny: That's good.
Adult Walter: Dude, you're meat.
Danny: Are you doing this to keep Zorgons away?
Adult Walter: Nope. l'm doing this because l've been eating paste out of a tube for  15  years.
Walter: This totally sucks.
Danny: Why?
Walter: He's eating all our food.
Danny: So? Lupe just went shopping. How long do you think we're gonna be out here?  
Walter: lt could be weeks. Then what?                   
Danny: l don't know.   
Walter: What about air? How long is it gonna last before he breathes it all up?            
Danny: l guess.
Walter: I'm gonna say something.
Danny: No, wait. Walter. Walter.
Walter: Dude, that's our food.
Adult Walter: Yep. And you're running low on supplies.    
Walter: Yeah, l know. You're eating it all.
Adult Walter: Well, as l recall, the card said, Rescue stranded astronaut. Looks to me like l'm the only one that's doing any rescuing….so l don't think a couple Dagwood sandwiches is too much to ask for.
Walter: Dog, you're eating it all.
Adult Walter: l passed through a time sphincter to get here.  You realize how difficult that is?
Walter: What's a time sphincter?
Adult Walter: A wormhole, about yay big: You squeeze through there....and tell me you're not hungry enough to eat a carpet shark.
Walter: Sounds like you got a long trip ahead of you.
Adult Walter: Oh, you telling me to leave?                   
Walter: Well, l mean, once you get finished eating, yeah.
Adult Walter: Oh, l hate to break it to you, but that's not your call. He spun me, so it's up to him. 
Walter: Well, l'm fleet admiral, and l'm telling you to hit the road.        
Adult Walter: l apologize, sir. l didn't-- l didn't realize you were a fleet admiral. ln fact, l....   l'm a fleet admiral too! lt's just a card, bug nuts.
Walter: Well, he wants you to leave too.
Adult Walter: That true, Danny? You want me to split?
Walter: Of course he does.
Adult Walter: Hey, mouthpiece... ...let him answer, all right? l need to hear it from the big guy.
Danny: Well....     
Walter: Danny, tell him you want him to leave.      
Danny: Well, he did help out a little.                
Walter: Help? He burned our couch and now he's eating all our food.  You call that helping?  
Adult Walter: You know what? l'm just gonna go. l feel like a third wheel anyways. l mean, you guys are such a tight, unified team here. You're doing great too. l gotta tell you, the house looks fantastic. So l'll just get out of your hair… ...and let you guys whomp some more Zorgon butt without me.
Danny: Wait.
Walter: Whose brother are you, his or mine?
Danny: You can stay.
Adult Walter: Orders are orders. Come on, admiral, your turn.
Danny: l'm sorry.
Walter: Shut up.
Danny: l think he can help.
Adult Walter: Okay. Why haven't  you guys started yet?
Danny: We're waiting for you.
Adult Walter: Okay, well, l'm here, so turn that clockwise-
Walter: Yeah, l know how to play the game.
Adult Walter: Okay.   
Walter: Hang on a second. Something's wrong.
Adult Walter: What?   
Walter: l was ahead of you.             
Danny: Somebody must have kicked the board?                  
Walter: No, nobody kicked the board.  You cheated.
Danny: No, l didn't.
Walter: You cheated. l knew you were gonna cheat.
Adult Walter: Hold on. ''Cheater's'' a strong word.
Danny: l didn't cheat. l didn't cheat!
Adult Walter: Guys, guys. Please!   Bring it down. lndoor voices. Now, did you move the piece? 
Danny: Maybe l moved the piece by an accident.   
Adult Walter: Okay. lt was an accident.
Walter: How can you move a piece by accident?   lt's stuck to the game. lt's impossible. You cheated. 
Adult Walter: No, no, no, let's not use that word. No, stop saying cheated.
Walter: You cheated! Cheater!
Danny: I didn't cheat!          
Adult Walter: Come on. Okay? Now, where did you move from?                  
Danny: l was right here.
Walter: No, you weren't.
You were back there.      
Okay.
Okay. Here, careful.        
-God.
Adult Walter: Okay, it's fixed.                   
Walter: You're such a baby.
Danny: l'm not a baby.        
Adult Walter: Slow down. Slow down.  
Danny: l'm not a baby.
Walter: You're a baby. 
Adult Walter: Nobody is a baby here.
Danny: l am not a baby!
Walter: You're a little baby!
Danny: l'm not a baby!
Jeez, it won't stop! Please.
Okay, let's play the game.
Fine.
Won't stop spinning.                   
-What's wrong with it?
-You broke it.     
Oh, look, there's the card.
See? lt fixed itself.    
Caught cheating. Automatic ejection?
Does it mean me?
Well, you did move the piece.
He's the one who cheated.
Danny: Walter! Hang on, Walter!  l'll save you.        
Walter: Help!
Danny: Wait a minute! l got an idea!   l'm gonna swing this lamp up to you and you grab it, and l'll pull you down.       
Walter: l can't hang on any longer!
Danny: Don't worry, l'll get another lamp.   
Adutll Walter: Stand back.
Danny: Walter? Walter.  Oh, no. 
You okay?
Are you okay?      
Walter: Get away from me.                  
Danny: Sorry.
Walter: Don't talk to me till we get home.
Adult Walter: That look cool from down here?   Because up there it was-- lt was pretty intense. My heart's pumping pretty good. That was fun.
Walter: Can you just play so l can get the heck out of here and get away from you?                   
Danny: l told him l was sorry.
Walter: Whatever.                   
Adult Walter: Okay, you know what we need to do? We need to get our heads right, okay?     Pull it together. As a team. The three of us. You're up, big man. Bring us home. l got you, buddy. l promise.
Adult Walter: What's it say?
Walter: He can't read. Lose map of galaxy. Go back two spaces.
Liss: l'm freezing my ass off. Forty degrees? Those savages.                 
Walter: Yes. Nine.
Danny: Good roll.
Walter: Good roll? Nine's a great roll.
Danny: l meant great.   lt's gold.
Walter: Shooting star. Make a wish as it passes. That's gotta be the best card in the whole game. l'm almost to the end, look. A few more and l win.                  
Danny: l hope you win. l don't care who wins.  
Walter: Because you never win at anything.
Adult Walter: Hey.
Walter: What? That's why he cheats all the time,  he can never win.
Danny: No, l don't.
Walter: Yeah, you do. And you almost got me killed.
Danny: lt wasn't my fault.
Walter: lt's not your fault? How is it not your fault? This is all your fault  Everything's your fault. lt's your fault Mom and Dad got divorced.       
Adult Walter: Hey.
Sanny: You suck!
Danny.   
l get my wish now, don't l? 
Yeah.                   
Don't do it.            
Don't do what?    
Don't wish what you're thinking.
You don't know what l'm thinking.
Yeah, well, l can tell it ain't good. Listen. No matter how good an idea seems like when you're angry...         ...it never is. You gotta trust me on this one, Walter.                  
What'd you wish for?   
Walter: l can't tell you.
Adult Walter: Tell me.           
Walter: You know the rules about wishing. lf l told you, it won't--
Adult Walter: [grabs the selfish boy angrily] Tell me what you wished for.
Walter: Get off me.
[Fearing this, the Astronaut headed upstairs.]
Adult Walter: Danny.  Danny. 
Walter: The card worked.               
Adult Walter: Yeah. lt worked, congratulations. We're stuck in space now forever.          
Danny: Leave him alone.
Adult Walter: What did you wish for?
Walter:  This. 
Adult Walter: You wished for a football?                   
Walter: Signed by Brett Favre.
Danny: Why'd you wish for a football? You could have just wished the game over. You could have wished us out of here.
Walter: l was under a lot of pressure. He was yelling at me.        
Danny: Why were you yelling at him?
Adult Walter: Okay, guys.  Here's the thing.  l've played this game before. Okay? l played it with my own brother 15 years ago. 
Walter: You're a player? 
Adult Walter: Yeah. Just like you guys. We were fighting a lot back then.  And when the game started, it got even worse. Every time we spun, we got madder and madder at one another. And then l landed on the star space. The same one that Walter just landed on.  Well, l was so mad at him, that when the star passed... ..l made my wish.  
Walter: What'd you wish for? 
Adult Walter: l wished that my brother had never been born.
Danny: Oh, my God. 
Adult Walter: Soon as l did it, l felt horrible.   l thought, you know, if l could spin again… ...maybe l-- l could land on another star space and-- And wish him back.    But the game wouldn't let me...   ..because it wasn't my turn. Walter. There are some games... ...you can't play alone.
Walter: So, what do we do now?
Adult Walter: We go back downstairs and we finish this thing once and for all. No more cheating. No more arguing. All you guys have to do is spin a few more times. l'll help you fight off whatever comes out.   Deal?   
Walter: Deal.
Danny: Deal.
Adult Walter: ls it getting hot in here? You blew out the pilot light on the furnace, right? Stay put.  Zorgons.    
Danny: My gerbil was in there.
Adult Walter: This is bad. This is very bad.
Walter: Why? We didn't get eaten.   
Adult Walter: Where did you leave the game?
Danny: ln the living room. 
Walter: Great. The game's our only way home, and now the Zorgons are burning it.   
Adult Walter: There is one thing we can do. Waiting for an invitation? Come on. Put your back into it.
Walter: Come on.
Danny: Why are we doing this?   
Lisa: Walter?  You guys actually set the house on fire! 
Walter: Lisa's back.
Danny: Lisa's unfrozen.                   
Walter: You're okay, Lisa.                   
Lisa: Get off me! Get off me! Try and find the fire extinguisher!    
Walter: No, Lisa, wait. No, Lisa, wait
Danny: The Zorgons are attracted to fire.
Walter: Great.
Danny: Now we'll never get the game back.  
Adult Walter: Okay. Don't worry. They're back.
Lisa: Who the hell are you?
Adult Walter: The astronaut. From the game we're in. Danny spun me.
Lisa: What is that? What is that? What's going on? Where are we? Somebody please talk to me right now!
Adult Walter: All right, they're arming the harpoons. They're gonna board us.                  
Lisa: What's gonna board us?
Adult Walter: Guys, look alive.
Lisa: What's gonna board us?
Walter: The Zorgons.                   
Lisa: What's a Zorgon?
Danny: They're lizard-men. They eat meat. We're meat!                  
Lisa: Come on, let's hide downstairs!
Adult Walter: Okay, listen, when they dock... ...l'll sneak on the ship and steal the game. You got it?  
Walter: Hang on.
Adult Walter: What?
Walter: Did she say downstairs?
Danny: Oh, no. 
Adult Walter: Hey, hey. Just stay with us, and everything will be okay.                  
Lisa: l'll never leave you.  
Adult Walter: Move, move, move.  Go, go.                   
Adult Walter: Okay. lt's gotten pretty serious out there.  l need you guys to hide in here. l'll keep in touch with these. 
Walter: They won't work. Danny broke them. He pulled off the antenna. They're completely destroyed.
Adult Walter: Testing.                   
Walter: lt works.     
Adult Walter: Listen, keep the volume low. Only use that if you need me.
Danny: Wa-- Wait, where are you going?
Adult Walter: l'm gonna go find the game.
Lisa: He has gorgeous eyes. What? He obviously feels very protective over me.   l just... l just feel so safe around him.
Adult Walter: Zorgons. Oh, my God.   The place is crawling with them. They're all over the basement. Wait, I think in the corner, I see the game. Yeah, the box is right there¨. Hang on, i'm-- i'm gonna get closer.
Danny: Did he get the game?
Walter: Hello?
Danny: What's going on?                   
Walter: Are you there? Hello?
Danny: What's happening?
Walter: Hello?
Danny: ls he dead?
[The Astronaut had returned.]
Adult Walter: The game was right there. lt was right across from the furnace. l couldn't get it. There's too many of them down there. They're all over the basement.
Walter: Are there any upstairs? 
Adult Walter: Not yet. But as soon as they're done down there....
Lisa: lt's okay. You tried your hardest. We believe in you.
Walter: Will you please?    
Okay.
Danny: The dumbwaiter.
Adult Walter: What?
Danny: The dumbwaiter is across from the furnace. lt's a little elevator. You could sneak right in it... ...we'll lower you down......you could grab the game...and we'll pull you right back up. So easy. Right, Walter? 
Walter: Yeah, but he's too big.
Adult Walter: Yeah.     
Danny: lt was a good plan, though.
Adult Walter: lt was a great plan.
Lisa: Yeah, it was.
Walter: lt was.
Danny: Too bad he wouldn't fit.
Walter: l wouldn't even fit.                   
Adult Walter: l sure wish we knew someone that was small enough.
Danny: Do we really need the game?
Walter: How you doing in there?
Danny: Okay.
Walter: Listen to me. lt's gonna be real easy, okay? Just gonna lower you down there, grab the game, and we'll pull you up.
Danny: Yeah.                 
Walter: Nothing's gonna happen to you, okay?
Danny: Yeah.
Walter: Because l'm your brother. And that's what being a brother means.   Means l'll never let anything happen to you. Okay?
Danny: Yeah.   
Walter: Okay. This is just gonna take a few seconds, okay?
Danny: Hey, Walter?
Walter: Yeah?
Danny: l'm sorry l cheated. 
Walter: l know.
Adult Walter: You ready to do this?
Danny: l'm ready.     
Lisa: He's right there.
Danny: Guys, why did you stop? Guys, come on. l'm not at the bottom yet.
Adutl Walter: Help me. Come on. That's it. Pull, pull. Come on, come on. Go. Go.
Lisa: They're back. They're coming up the stairs.
Adult Walter: Get out of here. Go on. Go, go, go.               
Danny: Oh, no.
Danny: Guys.  lt was just the box.   Wait. l see the game. lt's on the Zorgon ship. But l think l can get it. 
Adult Walter: Danny, do not get on that ship. Just stay put. We'll come and get you.
Adult Walter: Danny. Danny. Danny, listen to me. The Zorgons are up here. Just stay put. The pulley broke-- --figure out- 
We got rope-- So just stay put. Danny¨. Danny, are you there?   Danny, the Zorgons are up here¨.   if you Can hear me, listen¨. We're not pulling you up right now¨. Stay put¨. We just saw one¨. Hold tight¨. 
Danny: lt's just a goat. lt's just a goat. I lt's just a-- It's not a goat. lt's not a goat. lt's not a goat. lt's not a goat. lt's not a goat. lt's not a goat. lt's not a goat. 
Danny: Guys, pull me up. They got goats with four eyes. 
Danny: Guys! Quick! l have the game!
Walter: Come on. 
[Walter pulls Danny inside.] 
Danny: Walter.
Walter: l told you l wouldn't let anything happen to you. Come on.
Robot: Emergency.   Alien life form. Must destroy.             
Walter: He still wants to kill me.
Danny: Use the card. Quick.     
Walter: Reprogram.  
Robot: Alien life form. Must destroy. Alien life form. Must destroy.
Walter: Guess that's what the reprogram card's for.
Danny: l like that card.
Walter: lt's a good card.
Danny: Where's Lisa?
Lisa: Lisa......is upstairs.
Adult Walter: What fell?   Little excessive, but l like it. Come on.  Come on, come on, come on. Okay, spin it, buddy. Almost there.  l got it. "Flunk space academy. Go back one space. 
Danny: l'm not even gonna comment on that.          
Walter: My turn. " Hit time warp. Go back three spaces. Repeat last turn." l get another wish. Thanks for helping us out. l wish the astronaut had his brother back.
[Once the wish was made, another Danny appeared.]
Danny: You wished for two of me? 
Walter: No. l-- l wished the astronaut guy had his brother back.                   
Adult Walter: Danny.
Past Danny: Who are you?
Adult Walter: lt's me. lt's Walter. l'm your brother.                  
Walter: What?
Danny: Wha--?
Past Danny: No, you're not. He is. 
Adult Walter: Yes. l'm older, but l'm him. l came back for you.
Walter: What's going on here?
Danny: That was awesome.
Adult Walter: Thank you.
Walter: l.... -l didn't--
Adult Walter: You did a good job. You did better than l did.    
Walter: Thanks.
Adult Walter: Now, make sure he gets home safe, okay?
Walter: Okay.
Walter: He was me.
Danny: Yeah.
Lisa: Oh, my God. And l wanted to--
Walter: Ten. You need ten  to win.
Danny: Need a ten. Need a ten. One. God, l suck. 
Walter: "Would you like to swing on a star? Move ahead nine spaces." Danny, you won. 
Danny: l won?
Lisa: He won?
Walter: You won, Danny. You beat the game.           
Danny: l reached Zathura!
[One last card popped out. Walter reads the words.]
Walter: ''Game over. Thank you for playing?''
Lisa: That's it?
Danny: Now what?
Walter: l think we're home.
Lisa: Walter!     
Walter: Lisa!               
Danny: lt's a black hole! Zathura is a black hole!
Walter: Danny!
Danny: No!
                  
Walter?
-Don't push that button.
-Let's get baCk to the here and now¨.
There's no way it's gonna
happen again, is it?
No way¨.
No, it doesn't happen again¨.      
-l did it.
-You won the game.
-l won the game. l beat Zathura.
-We're home.
-We're home!
-We did it. We're home.
l distinctly remember asking you guys not to kill each other.
Dad, it was so awesome.
There was this game...
-...and it sent us to outer space.
-And there was a black hole.
We almost had to stay forever.
-l stole the game from the Zorgons.
-And l saw myself older.
Sounds like a lot of fun.
lt's almost  :  
and Mom's gonna be here any minute.
Grab all games and books, whatever you wanna take to her house.
Come on, get ready to go.
Good throw. Right to the chest.
Catch this one.
-Caught it.
-Nice.                   
All right, ready? Here we go.   
Brett Favre takes the snap.
He's looking. lt's a great pass.
-Touchdown.
-Touchdown.
-Just a second, Mom.
-Hey, Mom.                   
What happened to the football signed by Brett Favre?
-lt's gone.
-What happened to it?
lt never happened.                   
Oh, right.                   
We never speak of this. Okay?
-Never happened.
-Never happened.
Still think l have gorgeous eyes?
-Walter.
-What?
Category:Transcripts
Category:Columbia Pictures Transcripts