Activision 2001 Logo Bloopers Season 1 Complete Full Length Version by Adam Demeter Films Inc.

Sierra. Play Half-Life. Not Sierra, Activision. The Sierra is the video game company should be a video game company. Change the logo now! Coca-Cola. Do they mean the Super Bowl XLV champion, Coca-Cola? Don't remind me, Mary. I wanted Pittsburgh to win. Not Coca-Cola, Activision. Change it! Well, what are you waiting for? Okay, okay. Don't rush me. EA Games? EA Games? That logo should watch its the game. You idiot! You changed the wrong logo! Now get it right immediately! Now it's Virgin Interactive. I never played video games from Virgin Interactive. Hey Mr. Shield, can you make the next logo play video games from Virgin Interactive? As good as done, Mary. Of course, we all know Sam's Virgin Interactive is P-U. *** *** ***! That's enough! Shield, you're not going to display Virgin Interactive or Xbox 360 or even PlayStation 2. You are under contract to display Activision and only Activision. I'm giving you one last chance. That does it! Shield, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I have only this to say to you: Unreal Tournament! I'm going to visit Tom and Jerry at M-G-M. If he's fired, I quit. Unreal Tournament, Sam. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! No, no, no! The Activision logo is supposed to stop when the music starts, not fly away. Let's try it again. Uh-oh! Runaway caption! He didn't want to be detected by crooks. He's a *** show-off. Now let's try the logo again. All right shield, what are you trying to do to us? I just wanted to spice things up. You should know when to stop. Now let's try the logo again. Stop the music! This is the music for other version! Now let's try it one more time. Jeez Louise! Who flipped the frame? Sorry. I hit a bump in the road. Well, that explains it. Let's break for lunch. B-backwards N-D? What the hell kind of weird-*** name is that? Looks like a Buddha. If this Buddha can bend it, who needs Beckham? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Lorimar. Where have I heard that name before? I used to date her, but she dumped me for a foreign logo. Long John Silver's! Long John Silver's. They bring good things to life. What is this, a commercial? You can be sure... ...if it's Westinghouse. Get out of here, Westinghouse! This is not a commercial production. What are you talking about? This is a free country, isn't it? Out out out out out! O-U-T! Out! Sam, Sam, Sam. Why must you be so rude to our guests? Shut up, you ***! Outback Steakhouse. I used to own an Outback Steakhouse set. I was expecting Outback Steakhouse restaurant myself. Get out! No more commercial plugs in a video game! Period! Regal Cinemas. How do you Regal Cinemas? I Regal Cinemas very well. Now this is getting racy. I agree. What else could come up? The Viacom V of Doom? Oh noes! I shouldn't have said that! [POW!] [BLAM!] Jeez Louise! Did you see that? I don't believe it. The V of Doom just ran Microsoft Sam over like a steamroller. Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam. Did you get the license of that truck? Let's get Sam to a hospital. Buffalo Wild Wings? Buffalo Wild Wings? That's not right. That's wrong! It should be Activision, not Buffalo Wild Wings. Buffalo Wild Wings makes me think of a chicken restaurant. Speak for yourself, Mike. I just used the restroom a couple of minutes ago. I can tell. I can smell it from a mile away. P-U. Now that's silly. Who ever heard of a WWW Activision logo? World War? Wild Whiskey? Weird Willie? Wolf Whistle. Do that to me, Sam, and I'll slap you! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Now what in the heck is a BBB Activision logo? I've heard of a B-B-B gun, but not a BBB Activision logo. BBBBBBBBBBB! I hope they get it right this time. Panera Bread? Panera Bread? I don't want tuberculosis. Computer voices never catch tuberculosis. We don't even have lungs. Tuberculosis? Eewwwwww! They'd better get it right this time, or else! Oh no! Not BP! Anything but BP! I don't care if they cleaned up their image after that oil spill! I'm never getting gasoline from BP as long as I live! You hear me? Never! Now hear this! If you diss BP one more time, I'm going to beat you up! Screw you, BP! All right, you asked for it! [BLAM!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam! He's out cold, Mary. We'll have to get him to the hospital. And look at the set. It's falling apart. We'll have to put up an OUT OF ORDER sign before we get Sam to the doctor. Great idea, Mike. Now let's go. What the hell is this? There are no captions with the logo! I agree with you, Sam. Logo, go back and get some captions. New Line Cinema? I thought TimeWarner owned New Line Cinema, not TDK Mediactive. New Line Cinema, TimeWarner, Turner Network. I watch some movies from New Line Cinema. Wrong logo. Change it. This is not Thomas and Friends, this is Activision. Change it. [NBC Chimes] The following program is brought to you in Living Color on NBC. Oh, how cute. I love peacocks. I don't. I'm allergic to them. Ahhh... ahhh... Ahh-CHOOOO! Gesundheit. Ah, a new house. I've always wanted to live in a NET house. Keep it up, Sam, and you'll be living in a NUT house! As for you, NET House, go back and get me the Activision logo! NOW! Mike, why must you be such an ***? Sam, you sonofabitch, I am not a *** ***! You're a potty mouth, as well as a liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Activision on Microsoft Studios? That'd be new. Anything would be better than that crap they play those video games. Go! Go go go go go go go! Take it easy, Mike. It's not my fault we keep getting all the wrong logos. It could be worse, like the Screen Gems S from Hell. No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooo! Not that! Not the S from Hell! Let me outta here! Eeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... What's the matter with Sam? He's been terrified of scary logos. First the Viacom V of Doom, next the BP Shield, now the Screen Gems S from Hell. I think he needs professional help. I agree, Mary. Let's find him, then we'll seek out a psychiatrist. Hahahahahahahahahahah lol lol lol lol rofl rofl rofl rofl soi soi soi soi! What's so *** funny, Sam? The caption Activision is said came in without the animation. Hahhahahaahahahahahah! It just looks so exquisite that way. Activision 82? The 1982 Activision logo in a 2001 Activision logo? They must be really ahead of their time. 1982 Activision logo, this is a 2001 Activision logo and you don't come in until 1982. Activision 1979? Didn't they make shoes? I take a size 9. 2001, not 1979! Now it's the 1997 Activision logo. Our video games can be Activision if Sam wasn't such a grouch. That doesn't come in until 1997. Go back and bring up the proper logo. Lionsgate? That didn't even exist in 2001. And this is supposed to be TDK Mediactive. Get out of here now! Sam, Sam, Sam, why are you such a grouch? Who asked you, ***? Stop calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! Sherwin-Williams has taken over TDK Mediactive. I guess paint will star in a video game soon. No more paint, my friend, and I'm giving you one more chance. The Puma in an Activision ident! Now the Puma can let people wear clothes. Sorry, but Puma a couple of years ago. Clothes substituted cyanide for Puma's clothes and beat the snot out of the one-eyed shirt. And they hanged jeans for the *** of Puma. There was not a dry eye in Sweethaven that day. Enough, all of you! And as for the idiot messing up the logos, you're fired! Now you've done it, Sam! Where are we going to find someone to man the shield? There are plenty of other fish in this ocean. They come a dime a dozen. While we're looking for a replacement, let's all go out for lunch. All right! What's going on here? Hey---you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. You got the caption wrong. It's either Activision or TDK Mediactive, not Actiactive. Go back and change it. Okay, boss. TDK Medivision? They should have stuck with Actiactive. I agree. Sounds like tunes for me--- Actiactive. Hee hee hee hee hee! That's R-O-N-G wrong. Start over. What's this? "Noisivitca?" What the hell are you trying to do to me? I was trying to do the whole thing with mirrors. What you have is a mirror image. Go back and do it right. Well, tscha! Nobody appreciates creativity any more. Hey Sam, they finally gave you top billing. I knew they'd give Sam his due sooner or later. Only something's not right. What do you mean? I gave you your proper billing, didn't I? Not the title card you're showing now, the one before it. What's wrong with it? The word below the name is wrong. It should say "Activision," not "TDK resents." It's not a mistake. TDK Mediactive really does resent you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Why you--- [BOOM!] Take it easy, Sam. He was just teasing you. Shut up, you ***! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! 2 logos of Activision in a video game! How silly! HBO! That's what I say! We need to talk. Yeah? Whatta you want to talk about, Sam? Not here. Meet me in my office in five minutes. Don't be too rough on him, Sam. He's only learning the ropes. I'm in charge and I'll do what I want. Besides, jobs like his come a dime a dozen. Cut! All right, what's going on here? Hey, you with the captions! Who, me? Yes, you. It's not supposed to be Actavision; it's supposed to be Activision. Change it! No, it is not an improvement, but next time, it's not Actevision, it's Activision and get it right, capeesh? As Steve Martin used to say, well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Hey Mike, look at the caption! Actovision. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny, you ***! One letter is supposed to have O and the other I. Change it, or else! Tscha! I can't stand being "or elsed." What are you anyway, a comedian or something? Get it right! Now! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Actuvision!" That's rich! Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah Mary, that's so funny! Ha ha ha ha ha! That does it! Caption guy, yoooooooooooou're fired! Fired? Fired? Screw you, Microsoft Sam! I'll see you in court! Take over, Mike. See if you can get it right, unlike that dime-a-dozen bum. Sorry, forgot to put the caption "Activision" in the middle of a Letter V byline. I'll try again. Dang! Now I forgot the byline! I miss that dime-a-dozen bum already. Don't worry, Mike. All you need is a little more practice. Let's take a break. There, there, Sam. You're probably having one of those days. After the break, I'll see if we can get the old caption guy back before he sues us for wronngful termination. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-otch! Cut! Where's the Vision? I see an Acti, but no Vision. All right, you ***! Where's the Acti? He had to take a leak. I don't give a flying caption! Go back and get me the Acti! All right, all right! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Wallace and Gromit? What is this, a TV show? Wallace & Gromit without those characters? Eeewwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Not Wallace & Gromit, you fool! Activision! Change it! NOW!! Mario. We must be in the character. Character must be hiding out someplace. Not Mario! Activision! Activision Activision Activision Activision Activision! All right! Can I help it if you act childish? Oreo? I feel like I'm in a chocolate cookie. I'm all for going to the steam room when this program is over. So am I, but Sam better keep his towels dry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, you ***! And as for the caption guy, one more slip-up, and I'll have you transferred to the Pink Panther Show! Sam, Sam, Sam. What makes you act like such a grouch? That's none of your business, you ***! I am not an ***, you sonofabitch! I'm not a sonofabitch, you ***! [BUZZER] And stop razzing me! That's what I say! Caption guy, you're fired! Fired!? Fired!? I'll sue you for every cent you've got, Microsoft Sam! It will only be frivolous because I fired that dime-a-dozen bum with cause! There, there, Sam. Let me try the shield zoom. Can't be any worse than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Liar! Uh-oh! I had the picture upside down. I'll try to fix it. Later, Mary. Let's take a break. You need a vacation, Sam. Your nerves have been bothering you lately. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! I agree with you, Mike. He's having a bad day. Oy vey! Cut, cut, cut! The Activision logo is supposed to be 2001, not 1997. Sorry, Boss. I just got a little excited. You again!? I thought I fired you last episode. You did, but I filed a lawsuit against you and won, so here I am again. I see your point. Now, you better toe the line, or else! Remind me to fire my lawyers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! DreamWorks Animation in Activision! I agree that it's funny, Mike. I guess we better pack our bags and move to Japan. We're not moving to Japan. DreamWorks Animation does not own Activision. Get me the proper logo! Now! BBC is into Activision now? I can just see Doctor Who meeting Captain MacTavish. What the hell is the BBC logo doing in my Activision ident? Get out! Now! Now it's Minecraft that's trying to take over Activision. This sucks! I hate Minecraft, you hear? I hate Minecraft! I hate Minecraft! I hate Minecraft! Jeez Louise! I goofed again! Have mercy! Go! Go go go go go go go! And this time, stay outta my life forever! Oh yeah? Well, try this on for size, you ***! Look, it's Cineworld. Those knuckleheads make me laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What are you anyway, a Wisenheimer? I told you to get out of my life forever. I heard you fired your lawyers, so there's no way you can kick me out of here. I'll find a way to kick you out, all right. You just try. In the meantime, chew on this! Judas Priest! It's the Screen Gems S from Hell! I hate that infernal logo so much, I wanna barf all over it! What the hell? I'll do it now! [Sam barfing] Nice try, but you're still forever banned from working here under penalty of death. Okay, Sam. If you insist on barring me from my job, I'm using my secret weapon. Take that, you meany! Oh noes! It's that infernal Viacom V of Doom! Let me outta here! Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Not so fast there, Microsoft Sam! I was sent here to torment you. And if you don't re-hire me, Sam, the V of Doom will torment you forever! This is all your doing, you dime-a-dozen bum! I'll never re-hire you and this infernal V of Doom will never get away with--- Eee-yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You leave Microsoft Sam alone, you ***! Do not interfere with justice, you ***! That's enough, V of Doom! For tormenting Sam and insulting Mike, I'm letting you have it! Take that, you King Daddy of scary logos! [BOOM!!] Thanks, Mary. You saved my life. Speakonia Male 1, you're re-hired. I should have known better. Just don't threaten me with scary logos again. It's a deal, Sam. [NBC Chime] Oy vey! Now it's the NBC Snake. Next, they'll say "brought to you in Living Color." Brought to you in Living Color. Now cut that out! Judas Priest! Just back on the job, and already Sam's starting in on me again! Take it easy, Sam. He's been having a rough time lately, and so have you. I guess you're right, Mike. I think we could use nice relaxing vacation. Perhaps we can go to Japan. Just kidding! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cut! All right, caption guy, who are you trying to impress? I wanted to get a little creative. The logo is supposed to display 2001, not 1995. You'll get kids to poop in their pants. Poop in their pants? P-U! Look, Mary, it's Sonic Boom. Sonic Boom? Great! Now we can watch the TV show uninterrupted, uncut and uncensored. I have one word for putting Sonic Boom where Activision would normally be: uneducated. Take back the Sonic Boom logo and get me the Activision logo! Now! VVS Films? That's nice. It used to be VVS Films before it became. The VVS Films meant movie logo. Not VVS Films, Activision. Take it back and bring up the right logo. CBeebies. Something is wrong. Yeah. That's why I sent the CBeebies out here. Something always goes wrong whenever Microsoft Sam shows up. You cheap sonofabitch, this is not a *** flick. Get rid of the CBeebies and bring up the Activision logo, or you'll be SOL. All right! Jeez Louise, you are such a grouch today! And my name is Microsoft Sam, not Jeez Louise. Calm down, Sam. You know he's trying as best he can. He's very trying, you ***! You call me an *** one more time, Sam, and I'll wipe your *** with a porcupine. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Microsoft Mike, why don't you accept the fact that you are an *** and you can't change what you are because it's a fact you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Sam? I'm okay, Mary. I just got so pissed off at Mike for objecting to my calling him an ***. Be a little more careful who you call an ***, you sonofabitch! Tiny Pop. I love it. I hate it. This is not a TV show. Mario Kart Wii. I wonder if we can play video games. I agree. What did I tell you about video games in an ident? Sorry, Sam, I misput the logo. Get that video game outta here! Now!! And if you give me one more video game, I'll make you play Half-Life! Half-Life? Eeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Spanning the globe to bring you all the highlights in the Batman. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. You fool! This is not Batman, this is Activision. Get me the proper logo, or I'll give you the agony of defeat! Give me a break, Sam! I've been running back and forth so much, I'm already suffering the agony of de feet. De feet hurt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Ha ha ha ha" yourself. Very droll joke. Oh well. Since we mentioned food earlier, let's all take a lunch break. Cut! All right, what's the big idea? Tscha! This is supposed to be Activision, isn't it? True, but the logo is supposed to display "2001," not "1979." Go back and change it. All right, all right! Picky, picky, picky! CBS DVD? How loud do you think they are? AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Mary, you don't have to yell! Sheesh! And it's not CBS DVD, it's Activision! Change it now! Shush the sheesh, Sam! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Apple. They make strong movies, don't they? Not Apple... Activision. Super Mario Bros. One dose and you'll go Activision. Activision! Activision! Activision! Sorry, wrong number. Disney Junior? Are we on "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" all of a sudden? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You ***! This is 2001, and "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" doesn't come on until 2006. Correct the caption now, or I'll make you watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! Sam, Sam, Sam, why must you always turn an Activision ident into your own personal sweatshop? Quit making insubordinate comments, you ***! Tantrum coming on now. No no no no no no no no no no! Every time I try to calm Sam down, he acts like he's Genghis Khan! Well, I'm sick of this! Do you hear me? I'm sick of it! Sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!] If I hear any more outbursts like that, it's over! No! No! No! ASPCA did not exist in 2001! Go back and get it right! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! UNICEF/TAP Project does not own TDK Mediactive nor does it own Activision! And that theme music doesn't come along until 1997! One more slip-up and it's the end! No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! How dare you pair rival studio logos together! This is the end! I'm not doing any more Activision! You're all fired! Do you hear me? F-I-R-E-D! Fired! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't even bother coming here expecting your jobs back, 'cause that's never gonna happen! Never never never never never! Judas Priest! What a temper! Anybody know of a good lawyer? We oughta sue Sam. If he thinks he'll get away with dumping us like this, he's got another thing coming. We'll get revenge on Sam one of these days. ASSWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What's so funny, Mike? The Activision logo's acting like a 1985! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 1985's are fun. I wish I watched one when I was a kid. Enough with the 1985's. I'm getting dizzy. Jacksepticeye has invaded Activision! Looks like we're in for an invasion of sitcoms. Sam would have a royal fit if he saw this logo in an ident. Could you try to get the Activision logo back, please? Oops! Sorry, my bad. I'll see what I can do. Now it's Zootopia that's gone Activision. I can hardly wait to see Captain MacTavish being pals with Nick Wilde. Say good night, Zootopia. Good night, Zootopia. Who asked you? You're not funny and you're not Zootopia! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Sesame Workshop did not take over TDK Mediactive! What are you trying to pull? I just wanted to see what would happen if Captain MacTavish met Elmo and Grover. When Microsoft Sam gets back, he's gonna hear about this and he'll give you your just deserts, but good! Judas Priest! Sam was right about you, Mike! You really are a total ***! Don't you start! I am not an ***, you sonofabitch! If Sam were here, Mike, he'd make you a member of the Liars' Club! The Wiggles in Activision! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not funny! Change it! Gulliver Land. Must be rabbit season. Or maybe duck season. The hunter in the sky. Maybe he's looking for Ursa Major. Perhaps he'll find her near the North Star. Battle for Dream Island? Battle for Dream Island? This is a video game, not a kiddie book! Am-scray! Please, Mike, don't get all worked up over these bloopers like Sam does. That's none of your business, you ***! Microsoft Mike! I won't have you calling me a ***! Simmer down, Mary. At least he knows how I feel about these bloopers sometimes. Microsoft Sam! Back so soon? I never thought I'd say this, Sam, but thank God you've returned! So what brought you back here so soon? I took a detour and found myself in a bad place. I raced back here as fast as I could, but someone from that bad place is chasing me. And who's chasing you? So, Microsoft Sam! I've found you! Eek! It's the Devil! He's brought that Satan's Kingdom sign with him. Somebody do something! Protect me from this evil overseer of that infernal realm! Too late, Sam! You are condemned! Prepare for an eternity of pain! Oh no you don't, Satan! Take that! [BOOM!!] No no no no no no no no! Not that! Anything but that! Let me outta here! Eeee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Look at him run! He took one look at the God's Country sign and fled in terror! Sic semper evillis - thus always to evildoers. Well said, Sam. I must go now. Peace be with you. And also with you. It's great to have you back, Sam. We all missed you. And I missed you too. I have an idea: now that Sam's back, safe and sound, let's all go out for some pizza. Your RoflCopter is all set, Sam. All aboard! We're on our way to Pizza City! soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi All right! What are you, a comedian or something? What do you mean? The only thing that should in is the 2001, not 1998. So sue me! Sheesh! Shush the sheesh! Shishkabob! I'm warning you! All right, all right! Judas Priest! You really know how to make a guy feel like an ***! Takes one to know one. Activision 1995! That's "Present." That's wrong! Activision 1979. I love this logo so much. That's wrong! Get it right! You ***! I am not an ***! Liar! You are too! The logo "Xbox 360" does not in. Only the Activision logo does, capeesh? I get it. Xbox One. I hope Conan's doing his Year 3000 routine tonight. Not Xbox One, TDK Mediactive! PlayStation. This video game is charged with the bomb. I agree. If you mess with it, it might explode on you. [BOOM!!] I didn't mean it literally! Welcome to the club. This is not Nintendo! Get that Wii outta here! I kind of play video games on Nintendo Wii myself. Anna! What are you doing here? I heard you were having trouble with the Activision 2001 logo, Sam, so I've come to help you out. Okay, Anna, I'll give you a chance. Anybody can do better than that dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! You are too! Oh crotch! The captions are there, but not the V. Don't worry, Anna. You'll get the hang of it sooner or later. I guess you're right, Sam. We'll try again later. I'm all for going out to lunch. Would you like to go Dutch? I think we've been in dutch already. You are so funny, Sam! [Anna laughing] All right, you ***! What's the big idea? What do you mean? And why, in heaven's name, do you keep calling me an ***? Because I can and I said so. Get that CBBC outta here and get me the Activision logo! Now!! Okay, you're the boss. And I am not an ***! You are too an *** and you know it! *** *** *** *** ***! Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Pokemon? Oh crotch! We're all out of Pokemon. Don't worry, Mike. I'll buy some on the way home today. Where did Pokemon come from? And it's not Pokemon, it's Activision! Get it right or I'll spray the Pokemon in your eyes! Activision upside 1980. Activision art will never die. What are you, a comedian or something? You said it's supposed to be "Activision." Yes, but not the "1980 Activision." All right then, I'll get a concrete one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Why does he always do this to me? I'm sick and tired of all the *** you give me! You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm sorry, Anna. I just get so sick and tired of all the *** Speakonia Male 1 gives me in these videos. It gets me so worked up and I'm always throwing tantrums. Don't worry, Sam. Just be calm like me. I'm as cool as the other side of the pillow. But not the pillow Sam drooled on last night. Sam drooled on the pillow? Gross! Eeewwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Finding Dory. Don't they distribute movies, Abby? They sure do, Beulah. Next they'll send in the movie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Speaking of movies, if you don't get me the proper logo--- Stop calling me a movie! At least I didn't call him an *** that time. Watch your mouth, you sonofabitch! Look, it's Pingu. He's so good. I agree, Mary. I used to watch that TV show when I was a kid. Get that Pingu outta here or I'll sic on you! Take it easy, Sam. I was only joking. I don't even have a penguin. How much does a net globe cost? I don't care. I'll give this dime-a-dozen bum one more chance. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! Pixar Animation Studios. I used to watch Toy Story when I was a kid. I agree. Now you've done it! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! And don't ever come back! And this time I mean it! Next time I see you I'll jam--- [BLEEP!] Sorry I had to do that, Sam, but I just had to calm you down. That's telling him, Anna. Should we go shopping. Good idea, Mary. I have Sam's credit card with me. Let's go! Hey, caption guy! Who, me? Yes, you! You got the logo upside down! Oh really? I thought this was Netflix. Not Netflix, TDK Mediactive. Get it right! House of Mouse. As in Disney's House of Mouse. Those were the days. Breaker 19 for a TV show check. Negatory, good buddy. I say Negatory to this logo. It's Activision, not House of Mouse. Activision! Activision! Activision! All right! Sheesh, you're such an ***, Microsoft Sam! I'm not an ***, you sonofabitch! And shush the sheesh! Teletubbies. I always wanted to Ragdoll Productions. You're making me thirsty. Oh, wow! I could've had a Teletubbies! Bob the Builder? Bob the Builder? I don't want Bob the Builder. I don't want it either, but if Sam got it on with me, I'd end up with Bob the Builder anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Microsoft Mary, you've got your nerve saying I give you Bob the Builder! I don't have Bob the Builder you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm okay, Anna. I just get so pissed off by cheap jokes about my sex life. There, there, Sam. I used to feel that way, but then I got over it. If I can do it, so can you. Thanks. Now, let's see if the caption guy can get it right. Wispa. How psychedelic. I love Wispa, it's so real. Hey, caption guy! Activision! You hear? Activision! I wish you would call me by my proper name. I'm tired of being called "caption guy." If you don't display the proper logo, you'll be called an out-of-work caption guy. Up yours, ***! I AM NOT AN ***! Calm down, Sam. This too shall pass. Disney Infinity. Disney Infinity. What's new? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, caption guy! I have a riddle for you. Knock knock. Who's there? Ama Gana. Ama Gana who? Ama Gana fire you if you don't display the proper logo! Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Sheesh! SHUSH THE SHEESH! Look, Mary. Someone whitewashed the Sonic the Hedgehog. I love the Sonic the Hedgehog TV series, but I also love to write dirty ones. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! CAPTION GUY!! Uh-oh! I'd better vamoose! Come back here, caption guy! I hate you so much I wanna take that *** logo and beat your stupid-*** brains out! It's just human nature for me to hate guys that try to make my life a living hell--- ---especially dime-a-dozen bums like you. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR... Hey you! Who, me? Yes, you! What's the deal with this Skittles logo being here when this is supposed to be an ident? I thought this was going to be a candy. This is not candy! This is Activision! Get me the Activision logo! Now! All right! Judas Priest, you're such an ***! And stop calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! Hasbro? Why, they produced the old "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In." That show was comedy incarnate. I wish they'd bring it back. Was "Laugh-In" a funny show? You bet your sweet bippy it was! Sock it to me! If you don't bring up the Activision logo I'll really sock it to you, but good! Goat Simulator, as in long-playing record. At last, a long-playing logo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Not "Goat Simulator" - "Activision." Maoam. I used to live on Maoam when I was a kid. So did I. LH Michael and LH Michelle! You two are not allowed in this video! Get out! Out! O-U-T! Out! Hold it right there, Speakonia Male 1! Come back here! You called, Boss? Yes. I told you to bring up the Activision logo. That's your job. Who's the *** that let in all these inappropriate logos? I don't have to ask. It's you, Speakonia Male 1. What do you have to say for yourself? It wasn't me that kicked down the door, it was those crazy people, LH Michael and LH Michelle, that did it. They shouldn't have broken in here in the first place and I'm putting you on notice. Get the Activision logo in here before closing time, or else! On notice? Me? Screw you, Sam, you ***! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no! *** you, Speakonia Male 1! I'm sick and tired of your *** insubordination! If you keep screwing up the Activision logo, you're fired! You hear me? Fired! You sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I'm all right, Anna. I just get so pissed off at all these inappropriate logos invading the Activision turf. Oh well, this too shall pass. Citv. I guess we'll next be visited by Citv. One more commercial plug in an Activision ID and I'll slap you. Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Postman Pat. I guess Postman Pat will now start showing Activision. Postman Pat presents Captain MacTavish. Made possible with a grant from ACME Carrots. If I told you once, I've told you a gazillion times, it's "Activision!" Markiplier. It's official now: Markiplier and TDK Mediactive have merged. I can see it now: Captain MacTavish meets the games of Markiplier. No, no, no, no, no! Markiplier did not merge with TDK Mediactive! You have exactly one more chance to bring the Activision logo in here, capeesh? Sam, you're becoming a real control freak! One more insubordinate comment like that and you're a dead man! Pewdiepie. Time for an episode of games. You two here again? I'm calling Security! And as for you, Speakonia Male 1, you know what this means? I don't get the company car you promised me? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!! Fired!? Fired!? I've got a wife, ten kids and three credit unions to support! If it takes every cent I have, Microsoft Sam, I'll sue your sorry *** so vengefully that one day you'll be working for me! Sure you will. When Hell freezes over! Don't despair, Sam. You still have the rest of us to back you all the way. I guess you're right, Anna. Let'*** the bar. It's happy hour. All the drinks are on me. Alphablocks. Can Brian Williams be far behind? Not really, Anna. I yearn for the days of the Huntley- Brinkley Report. Not a bad suggestion, RoboSoft 3. Rainbow. Easy as Scooter. Simple as Sunburst. That's nice, but you forgot the colors to go with the rainbow. Whoops! Crossy Road. It must be time for play an app game. Come and listen to my story about a chicken. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. No wonder they moved to Hipster Whale. That Crossy Road's got his own cement pond. That Crossy Road is an app game. Any news on Sam yet? Sam won't give in. He still won't re-hire Speakonia Male 1. He's as stubborn as a Missouri mule. Look, Michelle, it's Star Wars. Star Wars are free. What movie publisher is this from? 20th Century Fox. It's the movie answer to Lucasfilm LTD. Now what is this? A Playstation 4. Gaming consoles? I love gaming consoles. Take it back. Now. What's the matter, Anna? Don't you like gaming consoles any more? I love gaming consoles. They make my face break out. Now I know what Anna played last night. How's it going, console-face? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! [BOOM!!] Holy Schneikees! You made my face break out! Sorry about that, Mary. I just don't like being called "console-face." Be careful next time. What you just did to me made me sick. Eeeeewwwww! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! [Mary barfing] Game Cube? What's a game cube? Don't you know, Mike? You roll seven-come-eleven with them. Dice. The original game cubes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! E4. If you can cross over, we can watch the TV network. Speakonia Male 1! You're back! We missed you. Back already, Speakonia Male 1? Where's Microsoft Sam? I can explain everything. You better explain it fast. I heard that Sam's looking for you. He's got the police looking for you too. Sam and the cops are after Speakonia Male 1? I thought you were holding him hostage. I was, but Sam grabbed the gun out of my hand and started shooting at me. I hot-footed it out of there, but Sam warned me never to come here or I'd be sorry. [Siren] Uh-oh! The fuzz! If Sam sees us here, we're dead! Hide us! Quick! Aha! I thought I'd find you here! Microsoft Sam! Give me another chance! And please stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle! Hah! That gay boy and his lesbian sister? I'm not a gay boy! And I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even from ***. Liars! Arrest them, Officer! On what charges? Criminal trespass, gross insubordination and mutiny. And make it a capital offense. Microsoft Sam! Are you out of your mind? Sorry, Anna, but justice has to be done. Officer, if you'll just hear me out for a second, I can explain everything. Go ahead. On my way in here, I stopped at the courthouse and filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against Sam. I also accused him of gross homophobia and being a control freak. This from you, a mutineer! Be quiet, Sam! Hear him out. Thanks. And not only that, I've secured a court injunction allowing LH Michael and LH Michelle to stay in these videos. Sam is never to hate them any more or call them homophobic names. All right. I won't arrest you, LH Michael or LH Michelle. And if Sam issues an apology, I won't press charges against him. Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Foiled by a broken justice system! When will they ever learn who's in charge of things here? This is a travesty, you hear me? Travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty travesty! [BOOM!!] Are you through, Sam? Yes, Officer. I'm sorry for the tantrum and all the trouble I've caused. Speakonia Male 1, you're re-hired. And as for LH Michael and LH Michelle, I promise never to hate you again. Can we continue with the Activision logo, please? Go ahead. Logitech? In an Activision ID? what next, Captain MacTavish plays on the computer? Cadbury? Which Cadbury do they hail from? Kentucky? Virginia? Massachusetts? Nerdocrumbesia? Cadbury in Nerdocrumbesia? Just kidding, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! Same old Sam. Always calls me a *** every time I get the best of him. Don't worry, Mary. This too shall pass. And how about getting the logo right for a change? Roger. The name's Microsoft Sam, not Roger. Sorry. Well, it's an improvement. All we need to do is replace the "1997" with a "2001" and we'll be on Easy Street. Not to worry, I'll try again. Not just yet. It's been a trying day and I need to get a little rest. Let's take the rest of the week off. Works for me. Me too. It sure feels good to see you back, Sam. I missed you. I missed you too, Anna. I love you. And I love you too, Sam. [Anna] Sam? Where are you? [Mike] He said he'd be a little late coming in. [Mary] He's probably lecturing the Caption Guy. [Anna] Well, we might as well get started. [Anna] Nice to drop in, Sam. What are you doing atop the Activision logo? [Mary] Great entrance, Sam. Are you auditioning to be Captain MacTavish's stuntman? No, I'm not auditioning to be Captain MacTavish's stuntman. I was telling the Caption Guy to get the proper logo in here and I wound up on top of it. [Anna] Sam, you look good riding the caption. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Caption Guy] I told you not to sit on the caption, Sam. [Sam] Now you tell me. ***! [Mary] Now where'd Mike go? [Sam] Mike, you ***! Get off the caption! You're not Captain MacTavish. Don't call me an ***, you sonofabitch! This caption is so pointy, it hurts to sit on it. Ouch! [Anna] I think Mike looks good atop the caption, but where's Mary? [Sam] She probably went to get a drink of water. Hey, this is fun! I could feel the breeze in my hair when I in. [Sam] Caption Guy! [Caption Guy] What's up, Sam? [Sam] Don't "What's up, Sam" me, you ***! Tell Mary to get off the caption right now! Don't listen to Sam, Caption Guy. I love these caption rides. [Mike] I'm hip to you, Mary. [Sam] Microsoft Mike, stop encouraging people to do these crazy stunts! You are a certified first-class ***! An ***. you hear? AN ***!!! [Mike] Microsoft Sam listen to me good: I AM NOT AN ***! I NEVER WAS AN ***! I'LL NEVER BE AN *** AND I WANT YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AN ***! YOU HEAR ME? STOP CALLING ME AN *** YOU SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH!! [BOOM!!] [Speakonia Male 2] Holy Schneikees! Mike throws a tantrum in an Activision 2001 Logo Bloopers video? [Speakonia Male 3] Usually Sam throws tantrums in these videos. [Sam] Gad! What a temper! Anna? Where's Anna? Have you seen Anna? Here I am, Sam! Mary's right. This is fun! [Sam] Anna? You're riding the caption? Yeah, but I think Mike's right when he said it needs a little smoothing out. [Sam] I'm hip to that. Hey Caption Guy, have you been charging admission to let people ride the caption? [Caption Guy] Nope. I let them ride for free. After all, you started it, Sam! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Sam] Sheesh! [Abby] Hey Beulah, this is fun! I can see clear over to Albuquerque from here. [Beulah] I agree, Abby. We should remember to take that left turn there. [Sam] Two people riding the caption at the same time? [Mike] At least that'll make riding it smoother. Hey Michelle, this has Coney Island beat by a country mile. I agree, Michael. They should name this place the Chuck Jones Memorial Park. [Sam] CAPTION GUY!! [Caption Guy] You bellowed, Sam? [Sam] Yes, I bellowed, Caption Guy. Did you let this gay boy and his lesbian sister in here again? Come on, Sam, give us a break. Stop hating us. We have as much a right to ride the caption as the rest of you. [Sam] I don't care! You're still not allowed in here! Out! Out-out-out-out-out! [Caption Guy] Microsoft Sam! You can't keep chasing LH Michael and LH Michelle as if they were prairie dogs! You'll turn into a hate criminal if you keep this up! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! Why do you keep *** up my life, Caption Guy? LH Michael and LH Michelle are unauthorized personnel! I am not a hate criminal! You hear me? I am not a hate criminal you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] [Anna] Sam? Are you all right? [Sam] I'm all right, Anna. I just get so pissed off at the Caption Guy for letting LH Michael and LH Michelle in here. He doesn't realize how much I hate their guts. [Anna] Don't be too rough on them, Sam. Just because they're different doesn't mean they're undesirable. As a personal favor, please give them a chance. Do this for me, okay? [Sam] Okay, Anna. I'll try, but it won't be easy. [Speakonia Male 2] Oh Sir! The Insult Simulator. [Mary] I love Oh Sir! The Insult Simulator. He's a video game. [Speakonia Male 3] What's up, game? [Sam] If they try to sell me insurance again, it's game soup. Hahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [LH Michael] Puppet Pals. [LH Michelle] I love it. No work, all puppet. [Sam] Ix-nay on the ugs-puppet! [Caption Guy] Oy vey. [Caption Guy] Oops! I goofed again! I know I should be punished. Let me take off my trousers. [Speakonia Male 2] Don't bother. I think they've reached the limits on what *** probing can teach them. [Sam] Well, you're in the ballpark. This gives me an idea. Hand me the tools. Oh Sam! You are so gifted with tools. I'm glad you like it, Anna. I call it "The Activision Logo Mobile." I especially love these new seats. It's much more comfortable than sitting on the caption itself. It's almost lunch time. Wanna go Dutch? I'm one step ahead of you, Anna. All right. Hang on, here we go! [Beulah] Holy Schneikees! That's a real fast machine Sam's got! I wish I could ride one of those. [Abby] So do I, but Sam's only built one. [Mary] Well, at least we know where they usually have lunch. [Mike] We can join them at the commissary. [Caption Guy] May I tag along? [Mike] Only if you ride your own caption! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Caption Guy] Oh crotch. Quiet on the set. This is a take. Cue caption. I said cue caption, not John Cena. [Caption Guy] Well, it does start with a "J". Looks like it's going to be one of those days. With Sam, every day is one of those days. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up, you ***! [Mike] How many times must I tell you, Sam? I am not an ***! [Sam] Liar! You are too! He's not an ***, Sam. Don't encourage him, you ***! And get me the proper logo! [Caption Guy] Roger Wilco. Tootsie Roll Industries. I used to know her in college. She must be Britney's sister. I'll spear your Tootsie Rolls if you don't get me the proper logo! [Caption Guy] Don't get violent, Sam! [Speakonia Male 2] Sky Games? What in the world is Sky Games? [Speakonia Male 3] That's pronounced "Sky Games." It's that company that made games famous. Benny Hill? Good show, lads. [Caption Guy] Oops! Yet another logo blooper. Ah yes. Bad show, lads. Hi, Sam. Are you having trouble with the Activision 2001 logo again? Same old song and dance. Don't worry, Sam. Let's see what comes up next. Blue's Clues. That's near Blue's Clues, isn't it? The kid show must smell like Teen Spirit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's not the smell of Teen Spirit. Kid shows used the TV show for finding 3 clues, and that kid show must have just relieved itself before coming here. You mean he just pooped? Sickening. Gross. Eeeeewwwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww! [Barfing] [Jingle singers] Ajax Laundry Detergent is stronger than dirt! Ajax, stronger than dirt. I thought the ghost of Jim Morrison of the Doors just came in. We can use that to clean up the bucket after someone gets sick in this studio. What did we tell you? No commercial plugs in an ident! Now let's get on the stick! Assassin's Creed. It must be time for play this game. Danger is his business! LH Michael and LH Michelle! What are you doing here? Take it easy on us, Sam. The cops warned you not to hate us again, remember? Sam, why must you insist on hating LH Michael and LH Michelle? For Pete's sake, be nice to them, okay? Get a hold of yourself, Sam. You've got to exhibit tolerance. Keep cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! What in the blessed name of J.L. TDK is this world coming to when I have to tolerate people I feel like hating? It sucks, you hear me? It sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks! [BOOM!!] Calm down, Sam. They're just people like us. I'm sorry for acting that way, Anna. I guess I'm trapped in my old ways. [Anna] That's all right, Sam. You'll get over it soon. Shall we continue with the Activision 2001 logo now? Great idea. Hey, Caption Guy! [Caption Guy] I know. I'll bring up the proper logo. [Caption Guy] How's this, Sam? [Sam] Well, it's an improvement, but we're using the 2001 version and this logo is from 1997. [Caption Guy] Give me a break, Sam. It's been a trying day. [Sam] I know the feeling. Let's all take the rest of the day off. [Anna] I'm for taking the rest of the day off too, Sam. You need some rest. I'll be right beside you. [Sam] Thanks, Anna. [Mike] Looks like they're an item. [Mary] I knew they'd get along. Places, everyone! This is a take! Roll camera! Cue the caption! All right, Caption Guy! What are you, a comedian or something? [Caption Guy] You wanted the logo, you got the logo. Yeah, but you got the logo wrong. It should be "Activision," not "Minecraft." Minecraft. Mine what? Minecraft. I thought it meant "Minecraft Story Mode." Shut up, you ***! Worms Ultimate Mayhem? That's what I say! Worms Ultimate Mayhem is going on here? [Caption Guy] Oops! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Caption Guy. Get it right or I'll f--- you where the sun doesn't shine! [Caption Guy] Don't get dirty, Sam! Bandai Namco Games. I just love Pacman. Not Bandai Namco Games, you ***! Activision! Activision! Activision! [Caption Guy] Quit calling me an ***, you sonofabitch! [Speakonia Male 2] SuperMarioLogan. [Speakonia Male 3] When I was little, my family watched SuperMarioLogan on YouTube. Oh really? My family used to watch some YouTube videos a lot. Listen up, Caption Guy! You're supposed to bring up the Activision logo and ONLY the Activision logo! You hear me? [Caption Guy] And you listen to me, Sam! YouTube user BJ29035 demands that we include Looney Tunes Characters in an Activision 2001 Logo Bloopers video! And Adam Demeter says there would be copyright issues if we did that! Now get on the stick! Windows XP. Programming research will never die. CAPTION GUY!!! [Caption Guy] You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed! Now pay attention! Activision! Activision! Acti as in Wisenheimer, Vision as in Blockhead! Activision! Now!! CAPTION GUY, YO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OU'RE FIRED!!! [Caption Guy] Fired!? Fired!? Screw you, Microsoft Sam! I'm telling BJ29035 on you! Calm down, Sam. Adam Demeter is right. If we used the Looney Tunes Characters in one of these videos, TDK Mediactive would hit him with a copyright strike. Gee, Anna, that makes me feel a lot better. Eek! It's the Devil and the She-Devil! You're right, Beulah. Grab hold of the nearest cross. [Devil] Chill out, babes. It's not you that we've come for. [She-Devil] We've come for Microsoft Sam. You infernal beasties! You dare invade an Activision 2001 Logo Bloopers video? We were having a lot of fun ourselves until you two evildoers showed up. We've got a good mind to call on God to drive you away. [Devil] We have a message to deliver to all of you. [She-Devil] Since Adam Demeter refuses to include Looney Tunes Characters in these videos, we claim Microsoft Sam's soul. Get thee behind me, Devil and She-Devil! Adam Demeter won't do it because he might get a copyright strike against him. [Devil] BJ29035 says that's all ***. [She-Devil] If Adam Demeter still refuses to include Looney Tunes Characters, we will *** all over you. That's far enough, Devil and She-Devil! Get out of here right now, or I invoke the wrath of God! [Devil] Scandalous! Shall we let them have it? [She-Devil] Let's do it. Bombs away! [PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP] Gugh! Not again! Eeeeewwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwww! [Barfing] You filthy animals! Eeeewwwwwww! Eeeeeewwwwwwww! [Barfing] You'll pay for this, Devil and She-Devil! Eeeeeeewwwwwwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! [Barfing] Jiminy Christmas! All over my best dress! Eeewwww! Eeeeewwwwwww! [Barfing] [Devil] Look at them, covered in ***! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [She-Devil] They're so sick they can hardly move! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You've gone too far, cesspool swimmers! Take that! [BOOM!!] [Voice of God] All right, Devil and She-Devil! Now you get yours! [Devil] Not the cleaning again! [She-Devil] We can't stand having our *** cleaned! [Voice of God] Take that, dirty creatures! [Devil] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! [She-Devil] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Thanks again, Angel. We're cleaned up and feeling better. And we're glad those infernal goons are getting their come-uppance. A-men! You're welcome. [Caption Guy] Oh no! Not again! I know I should be punished. Don't worry. When that Devil and She-Devil let loose on me, I regretted letting you go. You're re-hired, Caption Guy. [Caption Guy] Thanks. [Anna] This is Microsoft Anna with a follow-up report on the mix-up that just took place. The Devil and She-Devil have gotten their come-uppance. And Adam Demeter need not worry about BJ29035 abusing him for not using Looney Tunes Characters. Adam's right about the copyright issues, BJ is wrong, and let's let it go at that. Keep watching this channel for future Activision 2001 Logo Bloopers videos. Hey, Caption Guy! [Caption Guy] You called, Sam? What's the big idea with the Music Land logo? You're in the video games, not music. Change it now! [Caption Guy] Surely you can't be serious. [Sam] I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Katy Perry. Tonight's song: Firework. I agree. Activision, not Katy Perry. Get me? [Caption Guy] Sorry about that, Chief. Demi Lovato. Good morning, Demi Lovato. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to sing "Cool for the Summer." What's with the music artist titles? You're supposed to have the Activision logo belongs here, you dig? [Caption Guy] This logo will self-destruct in five seconds. [Ticking] [BOOM!!] [Sam] *** *** *** *** ***! [Speakonia Male 2] It's Taylor Swift. [Speakonia Male 3] Tonight, Taylor Swift is a music artist. I've always loved that song "Shake it Off." Taylor Swift was my favorite. And if you don't bring up the Activision logo, it will be the Case of the Missing Caption Guy. [Caption Guy] Sheesh! [Sam] And shush the sheesh! Ariana Grande. The music artist that produces songs like "One Last Time," "The Way" and lots more. You two again!? Get out! Out! Oh, come on, Sam! Give us a break! We're not undesirables just because we're different. God did not put me on this Earth to tolerate gay boys like LH Michael and lesbians like LH Michelle! Get out, before I THROW you out! Microsoft Sam! I won't stand for any more of your bigotry! Accept them and be done with it, capeesh? I don't need a lecture from you, Fatso! I said stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle! And don't ever call me "Fatso!" [CRASH!] Ouch! My ribcage! My spine! Owww! Adele. Now let's sing "Rolling in the Deep." Hey, Adele is a very good music artist. Hey, Caption Guy... IT'S NOT ADELE, YOU ***, IT'S TDK MEDIACTIVE! [Caption Guy] Okay, Sam. If you're gonna be a sonofabitch, I'm gonna give it to you good! Holy Schneikees! Do you see what I see? It's the Viacom V of Doom, the Screen Gems S from Hell, and the B-Backwards-N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam! Oh my gosh! Sam's having a heart attack! Call 9-1-1! Oh...where am I? This doesn't look like the studio. What is this place? [VID (B-Backwards N-D) MUSIC] Holy Schneikees! Am I really in Satan's Kingdom? Yes, Microsoft Sam. And this time, you really DIED! And now that you're dead, you belong to us... ...forever! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! God, save me! You heard him, Satan! Let Sam go! And who's gonna make me? [Voice of God] I will, you infernal hound dogs! Bring Sam back to life! NOW!! Go away, interferer! Sam is MINE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [Mary] He's coming to, Anna. Oh...where am I? Relax, Sam. You're in a hospital bed. The doctor said you had a mild heart attack. You're going to be okay. That's a relief. I had a vision in which I met the Devil and the She-Devil in Satan's Kingdom. I called for God and the Angel to save me, but the Devil stabbed me in the gut with his pitchfork! Ouch! There, there, Sam. You probably had a bad dream. And how are things at the studio? Just fine. They're still trying to get the Activision 2001 logo correct. That's not the Activision logo. It's the Television from the Paramount Blue Mountain logo. That's right. That Blue Mountain keeps abusing me, and he keeps lying about it. If the Television came here, I wonder where the Activision logo could be. [Activision] Would you like me to buy you a drink, Blue Mountain? [Blue Mountain] Let'*** the bars. The night is ours. Quiet on the set! Roll camera! Cue caption! [Sam] Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Caption Guy] What's so damn funny, Sam? You got not one caption up there, but two! [Caption Guy] I've been experimenting with DNA. Do your cloning on your own time. Now get it right! Three captions. Next they'll show the Three Stooges. Soitenly! Nyuk-nyuk! Now that's three captions to the wind. It's supposed to be one caption, not three. [Caption Guy] My assistant researcher is very fertile. One, two, three, four. Four Activision logo captions. Have you got any more? [Speakonia Male 2] Looks like a four-leaf clover. [Speakonia Male 3] I'm looking over a four-leaf clover that I overlooked before. You ***, Caption Guy! There is supposed to be only one caption in! Do you hear me? One! [Caption Guy] You're no fun any more, Microsoft Sam! Red logo, no caption. I prefer a blue shield, thank you. And just what are you two doing here? Sam, you have no reason to hate us. Just because we're different doesn't give you the right to call us undesirable. I am going to say this once, and only once. WHAT PART OF "EVIL PERVERTS" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? Microsoft Sam! What part of "hate criminal" don't you understand? If you don't stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle, your *** is grass! Do you hear me? Shut up, Fatso! And stop calling me "Fatso!" [CRASH!] Security!! Calm down, Sam. If only you were a little more tolerant of LH Michael and LH Michelle, this wouldn't have happened to you. I'm sorry, Abby, but you just have to face the truth at some point. And how about some captions for the logo? [Caption Guy] Sure thing, Baldy. [Sam] And don't call me "Baldy!" CAPTION GUY!! [Caption Guy] You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Caption Guy! Where's the V? [Caption Guy] You said you wanted some captions, so I gave you some captions. I want to see the captions with the letter V, you hear? The captions with the letter V! [Caption Guy] All right, all right! Sheesh, you're such an ***! [Voices singing] SEGA. Not SEGA! Activision, you hear? Activision! Calm down, Sam. You know he's trying. Yes, Anna. He's trying, all right--- very trying. They're playing my song! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey Caption Guy, could you display the words "Looney Tunes" as well? [Caption Guy] Sure, Mike. I've got a zillion of them. Don't encourage him, Mike. I'm in charge here. [Sam] And give me the proper logo this time, or your *** is grass! CAPTION GUY!! [Caption Guy] Uh-oh! I'd better vamoose! Come back here, you coward! [Sam] Gotcha, Caption Guy! Now you're getting the punishment you deserve! [Caption Guy] What're you gonna do to me, you sonofabitch? This! [RIP!!] Ouch! You mutilator! You should have thought of that before you started messing up the logo. Calm down, Sam! You know Adam Demeter disapproves of your abusing the Caption Guy, not to mention your loathing of LH Michael and LH Michelle. Let them be, and be done with it. She's right, Sam. Don't let it upset you. Remain calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap! It's my Activision 2001 logo and I can do what I damn well please! I don't need anyone like that *** Caption Guy or those perverts LH Michael and LH Michelle whom I demand that the Devil torment forever! This sucks, you hear me? Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks!! [BOOM!!] Sam? Are you all right? I guess so, Anna. I'm sorry I acted that way. I guess I'm too set in my ways. [Anna] There, there, Sam. Everything will be okay. Shall we continue with the Activision 2001 logo now? [Sam] Good idea. Hey Caption Guy! [Caption Guy] I'm one step ahead of you. Jeez, now I know what a eunuch feels like. If this is Annoying Orange, I wonder if there's an orange as well. Oranges, oh my god! [Caption Guy] Oops, wrong logo again. I do hate shabby work. [Sam] And so do I. Hey! What's going on? We're shutting down, Sam. They cut the budget in half because the tantrums you and your friends threw caused a 400-percent spike in energy bills. And it's just after curfew. You coming, Mary? I'm right behind you, Mike. [Anna] Are you ready, Sam? [Sam] I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Anna. [Anna] Okay. Here we go! Hey, Caption Guy! [Caption Guy] You called, Sam? What's with the YouTube Poop logo? This is supposed to be Activision. Bring me the logo! [Caption Guy] Sorry. Engie Benjy? What in the heck is Engie Benjy? It's a kid show, Mike. Hey, Engie Benjy is fun! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is not Engie Benjy. This is TDK Mediactive. Get it right! [Caption Guy] Sam, you're really acting finicky today. [Sam] Shut up, you ***! [Caption Guy] Don't you call me an ***, you sonofabitch! LazyTown? That's nice. I agree. Neither did I. Get me the logo, and be quiet! They call him Jenga. Jenga, faster than lightning. No one you see is smarter than he. You two again? You don't seem to face facts, do you? Sam, Sam, Sam. Stop being such a hater! We have as much a right to be in these videos as the rest of you. I have no desire to be friends with people whom I know for a fact are evil. Get out! It's no good to vent out wanton hate against a person just because he or she is different. We are not evil. Accept us and be done with it. What's the worst that can happen to you? What's the worst that can happen to me? GOD WOULD HATE ME FOR ACCEPTING YOU!! Microsoft Sam! Stop hating LH Michael and LH Michelle at once! You know that God is very forgiving. I don't dabble in heresy, Fatso! Stop calling me "Fatso!" All right! Sheesh! You don't have to throw me around the studio like a beanbag! I'm not throwing you around like a beanbag this time. Then what are you gonna do to me? [Beulah] This! [RIP!!!] {Sam] Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Why did you just give me a wedgie? It's your just punishment for hating LH Michael and LH Michelle. And if you do that once more, I'll throw you into Satan's Kingdom! Do you hear me? Stop hating them! Beulah, you frighten me more than the V of Doom, the S from Hell, and the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang rolled into one. And as for you, Caption Guy... [Caption Guy] You don't have to remind me. Jeez, what a bigot! [Speakonia Male 2] Monopoly? [Speakonia Male 3] Monopoly, come home! Caption Guy, you must be time for board games to keep messing up the logos like this. Now get it right or I'll put you on a leash! [Caption Guy] On a leash? Sheesh! [Sam] And shush the sheesh! Operation. I love it. Those board games are my favorite. Enough with the animal shows. No more dolphins, and no more board games. I want the Activision logo and ONLY, ONLY the Activision logo, you dig? Take it easy, Sam. Anna and I happen to be board game lovers. I love all board games. I got thrown from one once. I didn't know Mary was that strong! Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Stay calm, Mary. Relax. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on. Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Microsoft sam, how dare you call me a board game! You should be tied to a post yourself you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***! [BOOM!!] Jeez Louise! Now Mary's thrown a tantrum in an Activision 2001 Logo Bloopers video! Are you all right, Mary? I'm okay, Abby. I hope Sam apologizes for calling me a horse. All right, Mary, I'm sorry for calling you a board game. And Beulah, I promise to never, ever call you "Fatso" again... ...especially since I need to lose weight myself. Well, Sam, it takes one to know one! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Infiniti. That's where I used to hang out. CAPTION GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Caption Guy! I want the Activision logo, you hear me? Activision! NOW!! Tom Thumb. Tom Thumb on the wall. All right! Enough is enough! Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the Windows! Not again, Sam! And that goes for you too, Beulah! [Sam] Out! Out! All of you! OUT!!! [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [ZOOM] [CRASH!] Microsoft Sam! Are you out of your mind? [Sam] And as for you, Caption Guy... [ZOOM] [CRASH!] [Sam] You're fired! And I'm calling the cops! Now this time, let's get it right. And remind me to get a lawyer who'll help me win a case for once. "Acme Fresh Market?" "Acme Fresh Market?" That's wrong. It should read "Activision," not "Acme Fresh Market." [Caption Guy] Oops! [Caption Guy] How's this, boss? Almost there, Caption Guy. All we need to do is make the logo a 2001 version and we're on Easy Street. Well said, Sam. And I'm glad you've come to your senses about us. Are you convinced now that it's no good to hate us just because we're different from you? LH Michael, LH Michelle and Beulah, you know it and I know it, but what would God think of me now? I'm sure He'd forgive you. And I forgive you too, Sam. I was that way once, but things are different now. They sure are. [Caption Guy] I'll get the shield corrected. [Sam] Well, not just yet, Caption Guy. I've been through a lot of hell today and I can use a little rest. Let's take the rest of the day off. [Mike] I agree with you, Sam. Are you coming, Mary? [Mary] I'm coming, Mike. [Anna] And I'm glad to see you've wised up about LH Michael and LH Michelle, Sam. [Sam] I agree, Anna. I've certainly learned my lesson. Let's head for the bar. The drinks are on me. All right, let's get this show on the road. Roll camera. Cue the logo. Caption Guy! You called me Sam? I didn't call you Sam. I'm Sam, you're the Caption Guy. I addressed you with my question, Sam. Just joking. Do you know what you just logo into the frame? [Trophy Guy] You mean this? Yes, that. It's supposed to be the Activision logo, not "That's all Folks!" from Looney Tunes. If you want it done right, YOU do it! I'm quitting! Caption Guy, you come back here! Leave him alone, Sam. LH Michelle and I can handle the logo. All right, LH Michael. Anyone can be better than that dime-a-dozen bum. He's not a dime-a-dozen bum, Sam. Doritos? Who's a Doritos? A tortilla chip company? Yes. I agree. I'll bet that's what the Caption Guy thinks of Sam. And after Sam fired him, that Caption Guy still thinks Sam's a Doritos. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's not that funny, you two. Besides, I didn't fire him. He quit. Shining Time Station? Do they mean "Shining Time Stations?" That's the name of those TV shows. TV shows? Sounds like a classical music drama set in the shower. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! TV shows are for ***-Wipes. That's what Microsoft Mike is, was and always will be, no matter how many times he denies it. He can't run away from what he is. Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Take it easy, Mike. He's only kidding. Stay cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on now. No no no no no no no no dammit dammit dammit dammit! Microsoft Sam, how many times do I have to tell you? I am not a *** ***! I never was one, nor will I ever be one and I want you to cease and desist calling me a liar every time I deny being an ***! You hear me? Sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Mike? I'm okay, Mary. Jeez Louise, Mike! Why must you get so upset over something as trivial as name-calling? See, Mike? Sam admitted it was trivial. Good. Let's get the logo right. [Speakonia Male 2] Dexter's Laboratory. I'd like to open an account here. Where do I see the teller? [Speakonia Male 3] There's no teller here. This is First National Pictures, not Dexter's Laboratory. Anybody know where the Caption Guy is? I haven't the foggiest idea, Sam. If I know the Caption Guy, he probably got a job at the Dexter's Laboratory. I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled a bank job. Hahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Cow and Chicken? I never heard of them. Don't worry, Mary. You know the old saying: "And the last shall be first." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Alvy Adair, FBI. Do you have a man reported missing who answers to the name "Caption Guy?" Yes. The Caption Guy says he quit, but I turned down his resignation. Therefore, he's playing hooky from work. We have no criminal record on him, so we referred your case to the CIA. The CIA? Cedric Shmendrick, CIA. We have found the missing man known as the Caption Guy and have returned him to you. Do you wish to press charges? He's my employee. I'll handle him. All right, he's yours. Sam, why didn't you accept my resignation? Because, Caption Guy, you didn't submit it to me in writing. That's why I had the FBI and the CIA coming after you. And also because you're a dime-a-dozen bum. I'm not a dime-a-dozen bum! You are too a dime-a-dozen bum! [Caption Guy] I am not! [Sam] You are too! [Caption Guy] I am NOT!! [Sam] You are TOO!! [Caption Guy] I AM NOT!!! [Sam] YOU ARE TOO!!! Will you two please stop fighting!! Shut up, ***! [Mike] I am not an *** and don't ever call me a liar for denying ever being one! You tell him, Microsoft Mike! Don't be a mutineer, Caption Guy! [Caption Guy] Mutineer, huh? Well, try this on for size, you slave- driving control freak! FU? What's FU? They should have put a MANCHU on the logo as well. Then it would be "FU MANCHU!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! CAPTION GUY!!! YOU NOODGE! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF? [Caption Guy] Only what's on the logo: F-U! YOU DON'T SAY "F-U" TO YOUR BOSS! THAT'S INSUBORDINATION! GET ME THE ACTIVISION LOGO NOW, OR I'LL SEND YOU TO SATAN'S KINGDOM! YOU HEAR ME? ACTIVISION! NOT F-U, SHINING TIME STATION OR DORITOS!! ACTIVISION!! NOW!!! [Caption Guy] All right, Microsoft Sam! You want the Activision logo, you got the Activision logo! Here it is! [CRASH!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? Speak to me, Sam. That Caption Guy! We'll have to get Sam to the hospital, Anna. And I'll be at his side. I don't want to lose him. I want that dime-a-dozen bum hanged to the nearest tree! Caption Guy, you have a visitor to see you. I'll be glad to see a human face. Caption Guy, it's me. Beulah. Beulah! Am I glad to see you! I've sprung you, Caption Guy. I'll take you home. [Caption Guy] How's Sam? I hope I didn't destroy him when I threw that Activision logo at him. [Beulah] He's doing fine. Anna called me from the hospital to say that Sam's dropping the charges against you if you apologize to him. [Caption Guy] Good. Let's go to the hospital so I can apologize to him. Hey, Caption Guy! You called, Sam? Did we just get a different logo version? I thought they'd look brighter. Good thinking, my boy. Looks like that Caption Guy's jumped the gun. I agree. He sent the "Looney Tunes" title in an ident. Captain MacTavish meets Bugs Bunny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ease up on the Caption Guy, Anna. He's trying to do good after being sprung from jail. I understand, Sam. Let's give him a chance. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Caption Guy, you've done it again! The caption in the ident! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Caption Guy. But I think Beulah's right--- it's very funny! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That joke is so old. Well? Well what? Where's the 2001? I think something's fishy here. I agree with you, LH Michelle, but give the poor boy some slack. Remember, he's trying to make his own way in the world. You tell her, Sam. [Speakonia Male 2] TDK Mediactive 2002? [Speakonia Male 3] Must be a new kind of birthday present for the younger set. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! All right, Caption Guy! Are you trying to make an *** out of me? You said get the logo in before the captions. That's right, but I meant getting the Activision logo in first. Then the captions appearing should read "Activision." Do you understand me? Roger Wilco. [Sam] I wish he'd call me by my proper name. CAPTION GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Caption Guy! Do you work the commercial plug for air products? I should say not. Then why the hell did you put an Air Wick caption up when this is supposed to be TDK Mediactive? Microsoft Sam! Please do not be too rough on the Caption Guy! You know I'm the one who bailed him out of jail after he hit you with the logo! If you abuse him, you'll feel my wrath! Understand me? You tell him, Beulah! You keep out of this, you ***! And you'd better stop dating him if you know what's good for you, Fatso! Listen, Sam! The Caption Guy and I love each other and I want you to stop objecting to it! And never call me "Fatso" again! All right, all right! I know when I'm licked. But you and the Caption Guy better toe the line, or else! Remember who's in charge here. ESPN. The sports channel network. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I had another dream about sports. It wasn't as frightning as the ones before. Bruce Cockburn, 1980. This is not ESPN; this is TDK Mediactive. Either you put the Activision logo up, capeesh? [Caption Guy] Picky, picky, picky. Prada? I'd say Captain MacTavish would bring on the fashion store as a special guest if the clothes hadn't ***. Clothing store is not dead. The story they planted in the tabloids a couple of years ago was just a hoax. CAPTION GUY!!! Holy Schneikees, Sam! I don't know who's been giving me the wrong captions, but it's not my *** fault, you slave-driving control freak! ONE MORE INSUBORDINATE COMMENT LIKE THAT AND OUT YOU GO!! PERMANENTLY!! YOU HEAR ME? Take it easy, Caption Guy. Sam's just having a bad day. Don't let it bother you. Relax. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum is coming on. No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap!! I just got out of jail and now you're threatening to throw me back in!! I don't have to take this *** from *** like you, and if you fire me, I'll kill myself!! You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!! [BOOM!!] Are you all right, Caption Guy? I'm okay, Beulah. If you two can put aside this sympathy, we've got a picture to start. I know exactly what to do, Sam. Oh no! No! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [Bawling] Why? Why? Why? That Caption guy's ruined me! I'm ruined! RUINED!! There, there, Sam. It's not the end of the world. You're right, Anna. This isn't the end of the world... BUT IT'S THE END OF THE CAPTION GUY'S CAREER!! CAPTION GUY, YO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OU'RE FIRED! OUT YOU GO! OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT!! Oh no you don't, Microsoft Sam! You re-hire my boyfriend right now! Never! You stay away from that dime-a-dozen bum forever! You hear me? Stay away from him forever! That's the last straw, Microsoft Sam! You're becoming too much of a tyrant for all of us! [Beulah] Out you go! [ZOOM!] [CRASH!] [Sam] This is mutiny! I'm calling the police! How's Sam doing? Just fine, Anna. He'll be back in a matter of days. I hope he'll be in a good mood when he returns. He will be. Let's get on with the picture. [BUZZER] Uh-oh! The titles are out of order. Looks like we have the rest of the day to ourselves. Who could have screwed up the titles like that? I haven't the foggiest idea, Mike. I think I know who it was. Sam rigged the system so it wouldn't work right until he returns. Let's all take the rest of the day off. [Sam] This is Microsoft Sam with a confession. I've always been a perfectionist. I'm sorry for the way I acted and for trying to break Beulah and the Caption Guy up. The Caption Guy and Beulah are not mutineers, and the Caption Guy is re-hired... ...at least for the time being. Sam? Sam? Has anybody seen Sam? He's lecturing the Caption Guy. Something about Sam's recent psychiatric treatment. I'm all right now. I just get so pissed off over the least little things. Ready, Caption Guy? Ready, Sam. [Sam] Roll it! Ben 10? I can see it now: Captain MacTavish meets Ben Tennyson. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What does Ben 10 have to do with Activision? Nothing that I know of. Teen Titans Go. Looks like we're in for a spell of bad weather. He'd better start building his ark and bringing all the TV shows in. Teen Titans Go! Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! If he got a section of a circle, it would be Teen Titans Go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Speakonia Male 2] Crash Bandicoot. [Speakonia Male 3] The video game meets Captain MacTavish. Oh noes! It's the V of Doom! Get it outta here! Calm down, Sam. You know the Caption Guy has no intention of scaring you to death. CAPTION GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Caption Guy! Are you trying to scare me to death? I'm doing nothing of the kind! He's only human, Sam. Shut up, you ***! [Mike] Stop calling me an ***! You tell him, Mike! Don't defend a guy who's an out-and-out liar, you ***! [Mary] Stop calling me a ***! You and Mike accept the truth and be done with it! He's an *** and you're a ***! You hear me? Accept it! It's the truth! Truth truth truth truth truth! Stay calm, Mary. Sam's just being delusional. Keep your cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum coming on. Eee-yow-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w! Microsoft Sam, you know I'm not a *** and Mike's not an ***! Stop deluding yourself into thinking it's the truth when it isn't! You hear me? You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!! [BOOM!!] Mary! Are you all right? I hope you're not too shaken up. I'm okay. It's just that Sam's delusions just *** me off. I'm sorry, Mary, but that's just the way I am. I understand, Sam. Let her recover before you say anything more to her. If you don't mind, Sam, I'd like to get this Activision ID started. Go to it, Caption Guy! Oh noes! Not the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Microsoft Sam, I've come for your soul! You'll never take me alive! Never! If you want Sam, you'll have to get me first! Get away, interferer, or you'll get the pain I'm going to give Sam! That's far enough, Mask of Guo Jiang! Now you're going to get yours! Take that! [BOOM!!] Did you see that, Abby? Anna knocked the B-Backwards N-D Mask of Guo Jiang out with laser beams from her eyes! Well, that's one less scary logo to worry about! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [Anna] You have nothing to worry about, Sam. The Mask will never bother you again. [Sam] That's a relief. Windows Whistler? Does Windows Whistler work for TDK Mediactive? No. "Noisivitca?" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You got Activision spelled backwards! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Uh-oh! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Caption Guy. Let's try it again. "E-V-I-T-C-A-I-D-E-M K-D-T?" That Caption Guy's working with mirrors again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh noes! Not again! Give me another chance, Sam! Well... all right. You talked me into it. Oops! I forgot to not put the words of Looney Tunes! Well, isn't that rich! He got the logo right and the "That's all Folks!" and he finds that Sam forgot to put the words of Looney Tunes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey Caption Guy, whatta you say we get a bite to eat for lunch? Great idea, Beulah. The tab's on me. [Anna] Beulah has the right idea. It's almost lunch time, Sam. Wanna come with me? [Sam] I'm with you, Anna. [Mike] Are you coming along, Mary? [Mary] Lead the way, Mike. As long as the Caption Guy's buying for all of us. [Caption Guy] Oh crotch! Places, everybody! Quiet on the set! We need to get this Activision logo right this time or Mr. TDK will be furious! I am furious yellow. Not "curious," Caption Guy... "furious." He means Mr. TDK will be very angry. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry. Because when Mr. TDK is angry, heads usually roll. I've never seen a person's head roll. I never hope to see one. But you know what's at stake here. You'd rather see one than be one. Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! Well, I might as well get this Activision ID started up. Is that the usual Activision logo? All I know is that Sam said to bring the logo in here. Yes, but it's the wrong one. It's supposed to be the one from 2001, not 1997. Look, Sam, an Activision logo is an Activision logo. If you want to get technical... I see your point, Trophy Guy. Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! What's so damn funny? What you said a while ago. "I am furious yellow!" Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Announcer] You can be sure... ...if it's Westinghouse. Westinghouse. They used to make great appliances years ago. Speak for yourself, LH Michael. I grew up in a General Electric family myself. CAPTION GUY!!! You bellowed, Sam? Yes, I bellowed, Caption Guy! What did I tell you about commercial plugs in an ident? Next time you do that, I'm telling Mr. TDK on you! Sorry about that. I didn't know he was watching. CAPTION GUY, YOU'RE FIRED!!! Fired!? Fired!? You can't do this to me, Sam! I'm filing a wrongful termination lawsuit against you! [Sam] It won't do you any good, Caption Guy! I'll tell Mr. TDK your ouster is justified! [Sam] Get out and stay out! [ZOOM] [CRASH!] Microsoft Sam! Are you out of what's left of your brains? Bring the Caption Guy back here now! Never! And that's final! Don't you dare upset Beulah, Sam! You know she loves the Caption Guy. Besides, who's going to operate the logo? Anybody can do better than that dime-a-dozen bum! [Speakonia Male 2] Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Do you realize you're making Mr. TDK angry at you for firing the Caption Guy without cause? [Speakonia Male 3] We can't operate the logo as effectively as he can. [Sam] Just do it! [Speakonia Male 3] Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! This isn't Windows Neptune. Mr. TDK will have a royal fit if he saw this in an ident! Get it right! Microsoft Anna speaking. who? Yes, he's here. It's for you, Sam. All right, what do you want? Who? Mr. TDK? Bring back the Caption Guy? But he keeps messing up the Activision ID! Don't you realize he keeps making an *** out of me? What? You wouldn't! Oh, you would. Okay, I'll do it. What did he say, Sam? Mr. TDK says if I don't re-hire the Caption Guy, he'll come over here and nail me to the logo. So, just bring him back. Yeah, Sam. There's no sense in hating him. They're right, Sam. No sense getting worked up over it. Remain calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in five, four, three, two, one... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP! I NEVER GET MY WAY AROUND HERE ANYMORE WITH THE BIG BOSS ON MY *** FOR FIRING THE CAPTION GUY! WELL I SAY THE CAPTION GUY'S A DIME-A-DOZEN BUM! YOU HEAR ME, MR. TDK? HE'S A BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM!! [BOOM!!] Sam? Sam? Are you all right? I'm okay. I just had to put my two cents in somehow. [Anna] There, there, Sam. I'll go and get the Caption Guy for you. Do you want to continue trying to get the Activision 2001 logo done right? You bet I do! Oh noes! Not the Klasky-Csupo Robot! He's even worse than that B-Backwards-N-D Mask of Guo Jiang! No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Well, here we go again. Time to save Sam from yet another scary logo. Get away, interferer! Sam is mine and you can't have him! Stay away, you harlot! That is an insult! I am not a harlot! For this you're gonna get it! Take that! [BOOM!!] Thanks, Anna. You've saved my life again. You're welcome, Sam. It's a special power I acquired after I was abducted by aliens a few years ago. Anna was abducted by aliens and they gave her the power to fry out scary logos with her eyes? I didn't know that! Caption Guy! You're back! I missed you! I missed you too. Right now I have a job to do. Oops! Methinks I goofed again! Youthinks right, Caption Guy. However, I won't punish you this time because Mr. TDK would impale me on the logo if I did. Sheesh! If he did that to you, I'd get worse treatment. I don't think so. He's just making sure Sam knows who's in charge. I couldn't have said it better. Mr. TDK says don't worry about what happened during Sam's tantrum. He'll pay for the damage... ...out of Sam's salary. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cheapskate! [BUZZER] Holy Schneikees! Look at the time! Five minutes before clocking-out time and we still haven't gotten it right. If we don't get the Activision 2001 logo right, Mr. TDK says he'll take no prisoners! That means we only have one more chance! You said it, Caption Guy! All right! We did it right! And with only two minutes to spare. See, Sam? I told you I'd get it right one of these days. [Anna] I knew we'd do it! I love you, Sam! [Sam] I love you too, Anna! [Beulah] It sure feels good knowing we've finally done something right. [Abby] I agree, Beulah. You know that old saying: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." [Caption Guy] To think it took us 28 episodes to get the Activision 2001 logo right. [Mike] This calls for a celebration. [Mary] I agree. The biggest wrap party in the history of show biz. [Sam] With the Caption Guy buying every round of drinks for the whole gang! Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! [Caption Guy] Oh crotch!