The Super Smash Bros. Movie/script

This is the script for The Super Smash Bros. Movie, written by .
== Script ==
=== Part One ===
(The movie begins in a laboratory. Luigi wakes up to find himself strapped to a table.)
Luigi: Why do I get a feeling of deja vu from this?
Voice: Oh, you're awake!
(Luigi raises his head and sees the owner of the voice, a black faceless figure, standing in front of a computer monitor with a map of Nintendo Palace and several blinking red dots on it.)
Luigi: Who are you?
Black Figure: I'm Mr. Game and Watch. This is my planet, and you and your friends are the stars of my newest hit reality show!
Luigi: We're in a show?
Mr. Game and Watch: Yeah, I just said that. Keep up. For centuries, I've lived in this palace alone, designing cards at first and then video game consoles for a large intergalactic corporation. When I finished my latest project, I realized my true calling was show business, so I quit my old job and designed a machine that would transport people from random planets here to Planet Kyoto. Once I started getting visitors, I used hidden cameras to film their exploits and broadcast them to televisions all over the universe. This show has been a great success so far, and after the others meet me...I think we'll break records.
Luigi: You're insane! Let me out of this thing!
Mr. Game and Watch: Unfortunately, I can't. You're much too important to what I'm about to do.
Luigi: (tearing up) You think I'm important? That's the first time anyone's ever said that to me!
Mr. Game and Watch: Good Lord, get a grip.
(Link walks into Nintendo Palace with his sword raised.)
Link: Okay, everyone, it's safe!
(Sonic, Tails, Mega Man, Pikachu, and Kirby walk in next. Mario walks in last, heaving.)
Mario: It feels like we've been walking for ten years!
Pikachu: At least we'll finally get some answers!
Mario: Wait a minute! When could you talk?
Pikachu: I...always could talk.
Kirby: What's his problem?
Mario: You can talk now, too?
Mega Man: Mario, do you need to sit down for a minute?
Mario: No. No, it doesn't matter! Let's just focus on getting back to where we came from.
=== Part Two ===
(In the Mushroom Kingdom, Yoshi and Princess Zelda are watching television.)
Yoshi: This show is boring! Yoshi change channel!
Zelda: Are you crazy? The hot male lead just told the even hotter female lead that he loves her! I have to see what happens next!
Yoshi: They get together then break up again a few episodes later because more people watch when there's unresolved romantic tension. Next!
(Yoshi changes the channel, and they now see Mario, Sonic, Tails, Link, Mega Man, Pikachu, and Kirby walking through Nintendo Palace.)
Zelda: No way!
Yoshi: Mario?
Zelda: Link?
Yoshi: Where are they?
(The show they're watching cuts to Mr. Game and Watch in his laboratory.)
Mr. Game and Watch: Welcome back to the most popular reality show in the universe: Surviving Planet Kyoto! Our contestants have now reached Nintendo Palace, and it will only get more perilous from here!
(The seven heroes reach a door with a white question mark painted onto it.)
Link: Look at that! Our answers may be inside that room!
Mario: It's a question mark! Going in there will probably lead to more questions!
Link: So do you suggest we just ignore it?
Mario: I just want to get out of here as quickly as possible!
(Suddenly, a dog comes out of the room, grabs Tails with his mouth, and runs back in.)
Link: What the heck?
Sonic: Tails!
Mario: Just like I said! More questions!
(The remaining heroes walk into the room to find the dog is now wearing glasses, sitting on a chair, and reading a book.)
Sonic: What did you do with Tails?
Dog: Tails? Is that who I captured?
Sonic: Yes! Now tell us where he is before I get my friend Pikachu to cook you!
(The dog laughs.)
Dog: I'm not afraid of that cat.
(Pikachu shoots electricity as the dog, but the dog blocks it with a paw.)
Dog: Trust me. I know all of you very well and I know how to counter all of your powers.
Kirby: What do you want?
Dog: I want you all you find me a duck...
(The dog points to six guns on the wall behind him.)
Dog: ...and kill it using one of those guns. I would do it myself, but sadly, I don't have opposable thumbs.
Mario: Oh, boo! A side quest!
Sonic: If we do this, will we get Tails back?
Dog: Yes, I will give you your fox.
(The six heroes take their guns from the wall, and Sonic points his at the dog.)
Sonic: I'm not playing your game! Give me Tails back, now!
Dog: (laughs) You silly hedgehog. That gun can't kill a dog. It can only kill a duck.
(Sonic pulls the trigger, but nothing happens.)
Sonic: Huh?
Dog: I promise you. Tails is safe, and you will get him back if you do this for me.
(Sonic sighs before joining the other five and leaving the room.)
Link: I guess we're going on a duck hunt.
Kirby: Oh, boy! I love duck!
Mega Man: Maybe that dog can help us find Luigi as well.
Mario: (looks both ways) Wait, Luigi's missing?
=== Part Three ===
(Mario, Sonic, Link, Mega Man, Pikachu, and Kirby are walking through Nintendo Palace with their guns.)
Link: We should split up so we can find this duck faster.
Sonic: Are you crazy? That's how you die in every horror movie!
Link: It's a duck. How dangerous could it...
(Suddenly, the ground shakes.)
Mario: Kirby, was that you stomach?
Kirby: (annoyed) No! Was it yours?
(The ground shakes again. Sonic turns around, and his eyes open.)
Sonic: Guys...
(The others turn around, and they see a large 8-bit duck waddling towards them.)
Sonic: I think I found it!
(They all shoot at the duck, but it flies over them before any of the bullets can hit it.)
Mega Man: Screw this!
(Mega Man shoots at the duck with his arm cannon, but none of the shots affect it. The duck then turns around and grabs Mega Man with its beak.)
Link: No! Stop!
(Link and the others continue shooting at the duck, but the duck manages to avoid all of the shots as it turns around, swallows Mega Man, and heads towards Sonic.)
Sonic: Oh, no! Gotta go fast!
(Sonic runs as quickly as he can through the hallway, but the duck has no trouble keeping up with him. Sonic trips then turns into a ball, which the duck promptly eats.)
Mario: No! No! No!
(The duck turns around again and flies towards Mario. Mario aims his gun at the duck's head.)
Mario: One shot. All I need is one shot.
(Mario pulls the trigger and hits the duck between the eyes, causing it to fall to the ground and vanish into pixels.)
Pikachu: You...you did it!
Mario: But not before we lost two of our own.
(The dog from before approaches them with a trophy.)
Dog: Congratulations! By surviving this challenge, you're one step closer to learning the secrets of Nintendo Palace!
Mario: I don't want to learn secrets! I want my friends back! You told us you would give us Tails if we killed that duck, so where is he?
Dog: Patience, my friend.
Mario: Where's Sonic and Mega Man? Are they dead? Are we going to be dead, too?
Dog: Not if you follow my instructions.
Mario: What instructions?
Dog: First, take my trophy.
(Mario rolls his eyes and takes the trophy from the dog.)
Dog: Now take that to the Master, and he'll bring back your friends and send you all home.
Link: Master? What master?
Dog: My master, and your masters, too, as long as you're in this kingdom.
Mario: Is he the reason we're all here?
Dog: Yes.
Pikachu: Well, I can't wait to fry him, then!
Dog: Good luck with that.
Kirby: Where can we find this master?
(The dog points to a door at the end of the hallway.)
Dog: He's in that room down there.
Mario: Great! Let's go!
(Mario, Pikachu, and Kirby walk towards the door, but before Link joins him, he takes out his sword and points it at the dog.)
Link: If this is a trick, we'll be back.
Dog: I'm sure you will.
(Before Mario reaches the door, he sees a strand of blue hair on the floor and picks it up.)
Mario: We'll find you. All of you.
(Link joins the other three heroes in time for them to walk into the room, which is pitch black until they're all inside. Suddenly, the light turns on to reveal that they're all much smaller now.)
Mario: Why is everything tinted green? And why are the graphics so crude?
Pikachu: I think we're in a Game Boy!
Link: That scheming mutt!
(Link runs back to the door, but an invisible force stops him before he reaches it.)
Link: Ugh! Something's blocking our way back!
Mario: Then I suppose the only way for us now...is forward.
=== Part Four ===
(Mario, Link, Pikachu, and Kirby are taking a break after hours of walking through the Game Boy world. Mario notices something falling towards them from above.)
Mario: Oh, no! It's a Tetris block! And it's coming at us...very...slowly!
Link: (rolls eyes) Let's keep walking.
(After another hour of walking, they see a pipe coming out of the ground.)
Mario: Ooh, I have lots of experience with these!
Kirby: Wait! How do we know it's not a trap?
Mario: Last one in's a rotten Koopa!
(Mario jumps into the pipe, and Link hesitates before going in after him. Kirby and Pikachu follow them into the pipe, and after nearly a minute of sliding down the pipe, they drop into a large platform floating in the middle of a white void.)
Link: Where are we?
(The voice of Mr. Game and Watch echoes through the void.)
Mr. Game and Watch: Welcome, visitors, to your final challenge!
Pikachu: Who are you, bub? Come out and meet us face-to-face!
Mr. Game and Watch: Not yet! First, you'll have to defeat a group of some of the galaxy's most powerful fighters!
(Samus Aran, Captain Falcon, Fox McCloud, and Ness drop out of another pipe and land onto the platform with the others.)
Mr. Game and Watch: If you win, I'll return your friends and return you to your worlds.
Kirby: And if we lose?
Mr. Game and Watch: (chuckles) You don't want to know!
Mario: He must be the "master" that dog was talking about. He must know exactly where Sonic, Tails, and Mega Man are!
Link: And your brother.
Mario: Wait, are you not Luigi?
Link: Why would you think I'm Luigi?
Mario: You wear green, and your name starts with L! I don't know! I'm going through a lot right now!
Mr. Game and Watch: Stop with the silly banter! This is how things will work: you will do what you can to protect your teammates and knock fighters from the opposing team off the platform.
Pikachu: Where will we go if we get knocked off the platform?
Mr. Game and Watch: Somewhere bad, and you won't escape from that bad place until your team either wins or loses.
Link: You're insane! I'm not doing this!
Mr. Game and Watch: If you refuse to fight, you will only make it harder for you team to win.
Mario: Come on, Lui...
Link: Link.
Mario: Link, this is the only way for us to get back, and the only chance we have of beating those guys is doing it together.
Link: (sighs) Fine.
Kirby: I'm in, too! Let's win this thing!
(Mario shakes hands with Falcon, Fox, and Ness. Once he gets to Samus, the helmet of her Power Suit retracts to reveal her real face. Blood shoots out of Mario's nose, and he falls to the ground, stunned.)
Mario: Pretty...girl...pretty...girl...
Pikachu: We're definitely getting review bombed for that!
(Samus restores her helmet, and Mario regains his composure as he and the other prepare to fight.)
Mr. Game and Watch: Let the games...begin!
=== Part Five ===
(Link shoots an arrow at Captain Falcon, who immediately grabs it and snaps it in two before running towards Link and throwing a punch, which he dodges.)
Link: Good shot!
(Link jumps into the air and pulls out his sword, and Falcon spins around, jumps, and knees Link in the back, causing him to drop his sword and watch it slide down the platform.)
Link: No!
(Ness grabs the sword and swings at Mario with it.)
Mario: Whoa! You aren't trying to kill me, are you?
Ness: Maybe I am.
(Mario dodges another swing of the sword, and Ness is suddenly burnt by a powerful electric spark from Pikachu, causing him to drop the sword and fall to the ground next to it.)
Pikachu: I've got you, Mario!
Mario: Thanks, little guy!
(Kirby runs towards Ness as Samus shoots at him. He eats Ness whole, and Ness's hat appears on his head.)
Kirby: Yum! Fried Ness!
(Fox starts shooting at Kirby with his blaster, but Kirby is able to dodge the shots from both Fox and Samus easily.)
Kirby: Everything's in slow motion now. It's like I'm in the Matrix!
(Mario notices that Link is cornered at the edge of the platform by Falcon.)
Link: Hey, that's a cool scarf you're wearing.
Falcon: (blushing) You really think so?
Link: No.
(Link grabs Falcon's scarf and wraps it around Falcon's face, sliding under him and grabbing his sword as Mario throws it to him. As Falcon unwraps his face so he can see again, Link stabs him in the back, causing him to stumble and fall off the platform.)
Samus: (shocked) Did you just murder him?
Link: Yeah, I guess I did.
(Kirby runs to the edge of the platform and spits Ness out, but Fox surprises him with a blast from behind, causing Kirby to fall off the platform, too.)
Mario: Kirby!
(Mario sees Samus shooting at him and dodges the shots at the last moment while running towards Samus.)
Mario: Usually I wouldn't hit a girl, but I'll make an exception for you!
Samus: (sarcastic) Aww, that's so sweet.
(Samus dodges a punch from Mario then grabs him by the leg and spins him around.)
Mario: Is it weird I find this hot?
(Samus throws Mario off the platform easily. After several minutes of falling, Mario crashes through the ceiling of the laboratory from Part One and is caught by Luigi before he hits the floor.)
Luigi: It worked!
Mario: L-Link? You got thrown off, too?
Luigi: It's me...your brother...Luigi.
Mario: You sure?
(Luigi rolls his eyes and walks to the computer monitor.)
Luigi: That Game and Watch fella threatened to kill you and the others if I didn't run things from the laboratory while he did his dumb reality show host thing. I sent the others where they were supposed to go, but I sent you here so you could help me free everybody!
Mario: How am I supposed to do that?
Luigi: Game and Watch kidnapped me because he knew I was good at this tech stuff, but I don't think he realized just how good I am. I managed to figure out how to send everyone home, but the level for it is too high for me to get to by myself.
Mario: Where's the lever?
(Luigi points to the lever at the top of the wall.)
Mario: Ha! You were never as good of a jumper as me, brother!
Luigi: A single jump can't get either of us to that lever, but if we do that trick we practiced for the Mushroom Kingdom games, we can just get there!
(Luigi notices that there are only two dots on the map of Nintendo Palace on the computer monitor now.)
Luigi: Oh, no! It's just Pikachu and Fox on the platform now! If one of them gets knocked off, we'll be stuck here forever!
Mario: Let's do it, then! Get ready!
Luigi: Nuh-uh. I'm jumping on you!
Mario: Why?
Luigi: Because you're bigger!
Mario: Now, that really hurt my feelings! Just for that, there's no chance I'm letting you jump on me!
Luigi: C'mon!
(Luigi turns to the monitor, which has the dots getting closer to the platform's edge.)
Luigi: (sighs) Fine.
(Luigi gets close to the lever and jumps. Mario then jumps on his shoulders and jumps again, pulling the lever down as he reaches it.)
Mario: Wahoo!
(Suddenly, everything goes black. Mario and Luigi wake up in the middle of a field of mushrooms.)
Luigi: Are we...home?
(Yoshi gallops towards the brothers with Princess Peach on his back.)
Mario: Yoshi? Peach?
Luigi: We did it!
(Peach jumps off of Yoshi and hugs the brothers.)
Peach: You two will not believe where I just was!
Mario: Unless it was a different planet, we have you beat.
Peach: It was a different planet!
Luigi: You too? Must have been a side effect of Mr. Game and Watch's technology.
Peach: Mr. Game and Watch?
Mario: It's a long story. Eight episodes and a movie long, in fact.
Yoshi: Yoshi just happy to have his friends back!
Peach: Me too, Yoshi. Let's get back to the palace now before Bowser escapes again.
(The Mushroom Signal appears in the sky.)
Mario: (sighs) Looks like he just did.
Luigi: Don't you have guards or something?
Peach: In this economy? Come on! Bowser won't pound himself!
(Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and Peach run through the field, and the credits begin. After the main credits are over, we find ourselves back in Nintendo Palace, where Mr. Game and Watch is in a secret room.)
Mr. Game and Watch: Everything went according to plan, sir.
Voice: Good, good.
(Mr. Game and Watch looks up at the source of the voice, who remains offscreen.)
Mr. Game and Watch: If I may, sir: what exactly was the point of all this? Bringing all these people here then sending them back home?
Voice: We'll get plenty of exposition in the sequel. For now, congratulate yourself on a job well done. They didn't suspect anyone else was behind this, right?
Mr. Game and Watch: No, sir. They still think I'm the master.
(The voice begins to laugh as the camera reveals that it belongs to a disembodied, glove-covered hand.)
Hand: They won't see what's coming, then. Just wait until they see a true master at work.
(The rest of the credits roll.)
Category:Super Smash Bros. Super Show
Category:Scripts