M.U.S.C.L.E Wrestling

M.U.S.C.L.E. Wrestling is the ninth episode of The Irate Gamer.
The long list of doublethink commited by The Irate Gamer can be seen here
==Summary==
Chris Bores forgets what a muscle is, to no surprise considering that he doesn't use muscles, especially the ones in the head. Chris Bores finally reveals his secret ingredient for making reviews, drugs. Chris finally discovers MapleStory... and steals from it. And garbage pail kids give Chris Bores another chance, which he promptly ignores. Audiences are enticed to watch the first peer-reviewed episode of the Irate Gamer show where a simian proves itself more than a match for man.
==High Detail Plot Summary==
Irate Gamer begins by stating “There were a lot of obscure games back in the day for the NES” demonstrating that he is aware that there are over 800 games on the NES and thus there would indeed be obscure titles. Chris continues to state the obvious by saying “Some that were downright terrible” and assists his challenged audience by throwing games into the trash can. “But is there anything worse then the game MUSCLE?” says Chris, ignoring classic unplayable games such as Action 52, E.T and C&C sole survivor. Irate Gamer then caps off his rant by stating “I mean, what the fuck is a muscle?" indicating that Irate Gamer does not exercise the many organs and tissues of his body. This line makes it clear that Irate Gamer does not exercise the tissue in the occipital and parietal regions of his body as opposed to the constant and high level of exercise given to the mandiable region of his body. 
Irate Gamer states that Muscle is a franchise of figurines released only in japan, even though the figurines were made based on a children's TV show called Kinnikuman. Irate Gamer states that the person who brought the toys over for american kids to enjoy should be fired since people were not able to watch the show. This statement fits Irate Gamer's character since the person who brought over the toys he loved so much and paid to enjoy the privlege of playing with should indeed be rendered unemployed for his generous work. Generous people are thus wimpy and can be disposed of. Chris states that he should go back in time again to ensure that the toys are never released in America probably by killing the person who released the toys. It should be noted that not only does Irate Gamer wish for the hard-working individual who released the toys to be fired, but also erased from time and killed in a very personal and petty fashion. A piranha plant is in the background during the entire rant, possibly to reference the drug induced nature of the show and rant as well as the proposed solution, to go back in time using drugs (since the delorean has not reappeared due to the killing of LJN CEO, Chris Bores) and fix the problem. It should be noted that the kinnukman TV show was extremely offensive as it contained Nazi's, severe sexual perversion and toilet humor.all which are ignored due to the effects of THC.
Chris Bores states that there are only 8 characters which bothers hims since the NES should have a 100 characters as well as the more nonsensical looking fighters. Chris Bores shows that he is under the effects of THC once again by stating that all the characters look the same even though he just said he wanted to play as a giant hand or giant globe which do not look the same as the other fighters. Chris actually starts playing the game and notes that the player can only punch, jump or slam and not perform special moves, clothesline, throw and drop kick which can also be done in the game. In the original edition Irate Gamer stated “There are no special moves, no combo moves.” but this line was removed in the remastered edition which was peer-reviewed. Chris states that the only move he wants is the one to the washroom where he flushes the game down the toilet with the rest of the crap festering in his bowels demonstrating that this is where Irate Gamer finds his material and also that he does not use toilet humor.
Irate Gamer states that he wants expert opinion on the game, and calls in Tony, an improperly cited maplestory sprite who's main catchphrase is bang-a-lang. They note that the game has no in-game music, not noting that the reason this is problem is because that in-game music sets the mood for the game. They incorrectly state that the audience is silent but correctly state that the audience is bored stiff by the game and certain catchphrases. Chris Bores, being wonderful at making decisions, decides that the game should have a announcers which unsurprising fails as the game is still boring and the NES can't handle the large sound bits and FMV they used. To symbolize how poor this decision actually is, Irate Gamers shirt can be observed to change through the announcer sketch, showing that not only is Chris Bore's health low but also his dignity. Tony states that he will not play the game with Chris because it needs pyrotechnics and intro music demonstrating that both Tony and Chris hate Muscle because its an early NES game and not a game on a high graphics console such as the Xbox360. Tony says bang-a-lang again and stares at the audience to make sure that they're sufficently disgusted with the catchphrase. Tony stays but Chris is left to play with himself.
Chris Bores notes that the game has 30 minute rounds which are too excessive even though the game only has 5 minute rounds. He also states that there is only one screen in the entire game, even though there are 3 as the player moves to a different arena after winning a match. He then states “It makes you wonder how quickly they slapped this game together in order to make money” which given that Chris had to release a remastered edition of this review, makes the audience wonder how quickly Irate Gamer slapped the review together and how much time was wasted while claiming that special effects are too hard to draw in using a computer. During this sequence, Tony's face changes to the various expressions available in Maplestory, the resulting lawsuits for stolen artwork was not documented. Chris talks about the game pro-wrestling stating that “It came out around the same time as MUSCLE" even though it came out a year later. Chris notes that graphics make a game appealing and says the Pro-wrestling's graphics are better. Irate Gamer then addresses Ring King, he notes that there is a blow job sequence in the game as the audience who's seen this joke a hundred times already packs their bags. During the remastered edition, Chris states “What the fuck? Are they getting blowjobs? I thought this was a kids game!” to further disgust the audience and offend those who already understood the joke .
Chris Bores calmly states "“To tell you the truth, this game is the most boring, stupidest, dumbest, vile-repulsive, anal-raping, fecal-flinging, ass-ramming, toe-jerking, vomit-inducing, piece of shit I’ve ever played in my life” again due to the effects of THC the audience can clearly tell this is meant to be said angrily. Irate Gamer throws the game into a trash bin where a Garbage Pail kid throws the game out of the trash. This represents the the fact that Irate Gamer has not given the game proper judgement and that he should try again. The more likely representation is that the hallucinogenic nature of THC caused Chris to miss the trash can entirely but his mind believes that he made the perfect shot (which is unlikely given his inactive muscles and fading coordination ability) and rationalizes that a garbage pail kid (which was not foreshadowed, indicating that it must be a hallucination) threw the game back out. The remastered edition had this scene filmed in a different angle.
==Trivia==
*This review was remastered. The changes are noted in the plot summary.
*It is not known who decided to localize the toys for the Kinnikuman series.
*Pro-Wrestling was released a year after M.U.S.C.L.E.
*Tony has several characteristics matching the AVGN's Shit Pickle. Shit Pickle's first appearance was in 2006. It should be noted that Tony is a Maple Story sprite fitting Irate Gamer's parody standards while AVGN's Shit Pickle appears to be an original model.
*Kinnikuman was banned from North America due to inappropiate content (consisting of toilet humor, the main character is a perverted slob and a Nazi looking soldier that was edited)
*The Kinnikuman series would hit North American television in the form of Ultimate Muscle, which was so popular it even received a second season for American audiences only.
*Chris doesn't know what a muscle is.
*Chris talked about Kinnikuman figures in his "Irate The 80s" series.
==External links==
*Internet Movie Database
==Video==
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Category:The Irate Gamer episodes
Category:The Irate Gamer season 1 episodes