Transcript:I'm Your Pusher

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Category:Transcripts
[The episode opens with a man going through a box of comic books, pulling out an issue of The Boys. He opens the issue, titled: I'm Your Pusher, where the scene zooms into the first panel, where a party is happening in a high-rise apartment]
[The scene cuts to said party, where total debauchery runs rampant. Nothing but drugs, sex, supes and wild partying, hosted by a man known as O.D. After a rowdy night, the scene cuts to the next morning, where O.D. is seen crashed out on the floor. The apartment is a total mess, with sleeping guests around the place. There is suddenly loud knocking at his door, which wakes up O.D.]
O.D.: Ugh... [turns over to go back to sleep, but the knocking continues, much to his annoyance] Fuck off already! Ugh... [stands up, as the knocking persists] What the fuck, man? [puts on a robe and opens the door] Go the fuck away! [looks down and sees Terror, as he puts on his glasses]
Butcher: [steps behind Terror] You alright, my son? [grabs O.D. by the throat] Know who I am?
O.D.: [confused] Who?
Butcher: Good. Let's keep it that way.
O.D.: [thrown into a chair by Butcher] Jesus.
Butcher: [kicks off a sleeping guest in a chair opposite from O.D. and sits down] Oswald Deneeka, drug dealer to the superhuman community. Whatever they want, you get.
O.D.: Exactly, motherfucker. So you know who I can call and what they can do to you. So get the fuck out of here, before I...
Butcher: Where do you keep all the dead kids' blood, then? Eh? Up here?
O.D.: [lies] I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
[A montage of O.D. dealing drugs to various supes plays]
Butcher: 'Course you do. Dead kids' blood, you know, from leukemia and fibrosis and that. The big metal cunt, Ironcast. He drinks it recreationally. Says he can taste the despair. Also says it's the only thing that raises the flag these days. [notices O.D.'s unease, proceeds to imitate him] Oh, fuck, he knows. How the fuck can he know? How? [stops imitating him] But I know everything, mate, rest assured. I know you get crystal for them two muppets, A-Train and Jack from Jupiter. I know you get Queen Maeve her happy pills. And I know you get coke for that cunt, the Homelander. Cut with human adrenaline, the way he likes it. Wonder who that comes from? Never mind. It pays for all this, doesn't it? Oh, and don't you supply the Great Wide Wonder? 'Course, he's not one of the Seven, but a customer's a customer, right? Tell me something, son. What's he into?
O.D.: [looks away] I'm not telling you a fucking thing. [Butcher tensely stares him down] Okay, alright. Alright! Enemas.
Butcher: [smirks] Is that right?
O.D.: Heroin enemas, man. I'm the only one he trusts to fix them right.
[The scene cuts to Great Wide Wonder standing in front of a mirror, as he pulls down his pants. He scoops up petroleum jelly with two fingers to lubricate a syringe-tip end of an enema tube]
Great Wide Wonder: Okay, and here we go. [inserts the tube into his rectum, and squeezes the enema bag before moaning in absolute euphoria]
Butcher: [laughs] Stroll on. Well, when you're doing what only you can do for him, [pulls out a purple serum] you're gonna make sure this finds its way into the mix.
O.D.: [looks at the serum] What is that?
Butcher: It's something a mad French bastard I know came up with. Said it'll suit the Great Wide Wonder right down to the ground.
O.D.: [walks around his apartment and notices a syringe] Okay. Okay, I mean, I guess I don't have a choice, do I? [picks up the syringe and tries to attack Butcher] Die, you old fucker! [gets his arm grasped by Butcher is held over the balcony, causing his sunglasses to fall off his face] No, no, no, please. Oh, God! Oh, God, no. No, no, no!
Butcher: You'll believe a cunt can fly. Except you won't.
O.D.: Aah! Oh, God. Please. Oh, fuck. [seemingly falls, only to be brought back up by Butcher]
Butcher: Come on, O.D. What bloody use would you be to me spread all over the street like strawberry jam? Nah, what I'll do if you don't slip this shit to the Great Wide Wanker is call a nasty bastard I know at the D.E.A. You know what your supes will do for you then, don't ya?
O.D.: [picturing the worst] Oh, geez, fuck.
Butcher: Fuck off at warp factor nine, that's what they'll do, leaving you on your Jack Jones. And you know where you'll end up after that? Prison, where you'll spend the rest of your days with huge and horrible men using you as a condom while they make huge and horrible love. I'll be in touch. You just make sure he gets the good news like I told you.
O.D.: Oh, Jesus, man. What did I do to deserve this?
Butcher: [looks back at O.D., laughing] Come on, Terror. Off we go, mate. [Terror follows Butcher as they leave]
[The scene cuts to a new day, at a park, where O.D. is sitting on a bench]
O.D.: [breathes and puts on his hood, trying not to panic] Oh, fuck.
[Terror barks and runs up to him, as Butcher and Hughie Campbell follow from behind]
Butcher: Sorted? [O.D. nods] Good.
O.D.: [looks at Hughie] Who's this fucking guy?
Butcher: The strong, silent type.
Hughie: [rolls his eyes, as he sits beside O.D] Oh ha, ha, ha... Very funny.
O.D.: This is fucking dangerous, man. What if they spot me? They'll know I spiked his shit.
Butcher: No one's gonna be looking at us, believe me. And I didn't want you to miss all the fun you helped stir up.
[Nearby, a crowd is gathered around a stage, as a PR woman from Vought-American stands at the podium]
PR Woman: Hello, New York! 
Butcher: Speaking of... 
PR Woman: Are you ready to give it up for the greatest heroes the world has ever known? From the Seven, Jack from Jupiter!
Jack from Jupiter: [floats onto the stage, bowing] Hello, Earthlings. Cheerio! Thank you, thank you!
PR Woman: Queen Maeve!
Queen Maeve: [floats onto the stage, sighing as she waves, muttering under her breath] Kill me. Fucking hate this...
PR Woman: And the man himself, the Homelander!
Homelander: [floats onto the stage and takes the podium] Good morning! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Great to see you. We're here to recognize a hero who shines so brightly, we can wait no longer to bestow upon him our very highest honor. Please welcome the Great Wide Wonder!
Great Wide Wonder: [suddenly lands onto the stage, beside Homelander] Yeah! Woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Are we gonna do this?! [takes the podium, as Homelander inspects his bloodshot eyes and erratic heartbeat] Alright! Yeah! Great Wide Wonder! Where my people?! Super Hero Hall of Fame!
Homelander: Okay. How far he has come. How high he has flown. Through the fiery crucible of battle he has soared and...
Great Wide Wonder: Woo-hoo!
Homelander: And-And so... we induct him into the Superhero Hall of Fame! As he flies through the flaming ring held aloft by Ironcast.
[A circular platform rises from the river, consisting of two men and two women, all wearing bathing suits. Last, but not least, is Ironcast, who stands with pride. One of the women takes out a lighter, kneeling down to ignite the giant hoop in flames before him. The plump, metallic supe reaches down to lift up the fiery hoop, with a grunt]
Homelander: And now, let the Great Wide Wonder soar.
Great Wide Wonder: Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!!! [shoots off into space]
O.D.: [to Butcher] Why, man? I mean, why do you want to fuck with these fucking guys, anyway?
[As Butcher speaks, we see Great Wide Wonder flying in space, above the planet. His body begins to slowly freeze, as he falls backwards, down towards Earth]
Butcher: Your mate there, the Great Wide Wonder, he was at a party last year. Private celebration after he gave the commencement address to Columbia. Took a couple of honor students for well, I suppose you'd call it a "flying fuck". Thing is, it's a bit fucking cold way up there. By the time they twigged, he didn't give a shit, and it was part of the fun for him, it was too late. As far as we know, they're still up there in orbit.
O.D.: [horrified] Jesus fucking Christ... Never heard anything like that.
Hughie: [to O.D., hinting to his late girlfriend, Robin]  Everyone we know's got a story like that.
[cuts back to the supes]
Homelander: [to Jack from Jupiter] What is it he does, anyway?
Jack from Jupiter: He flies really fast. You know, "Ride around the world with the Great Wide Wonder," and all that.
[Great Wide Wonder blasts downwards through the Earth's atmosphere, back down to New York. He passes the crowd nearby, setting off a sonic boom as he gains a speed boost. The spectators briefly cover their ears in pain, but continue to cheer for him]
Homelander: Yes, but there's fast, and then there's...
Queen Maeve: [to Homelander and Jack from Jupiter] I'd say about Mach 1.5.
[Great Wide Wonder bolts across the city, swerving around the Statue of Liberty before flying back downwards, towards the stage. He almost hits it, but not before sharply flying upwards with another boost. This sets off another sonic boom closer to the crowd, who cover their ears again, in greater pain]
Homelander: [affected by the sonic boom] Ow!
Jack from Jupiter: [also affected by the sonic boom] Ow, fuck me!
Queen Maeve: [to Homelander and Jack from Jupiter, worried about the Great Wide Wonder] Mach 2...
[Butcher watches as Great Wide Wonder zooms past two buildings, a row of windows shattering in response. After a couple of swerves through the sky, he heads back down towards the stage. Butcher deviously smiles in anticipation, while everyone else anxiously watches if whether he will pass through the hoop, or not...] 
[As he approaches, Great Wide Wonder dips close to the river, almost losing control due to the effects of Frenchie's serum. Right before he can pass through the hoop, he dips down a few inches, smashing through Ironcast's stomach in a gory explosion. Heavily injured from the impact, Great Wide Wonder's body skips across the river like a stone, before he hits the wall. The impact zone also acting as a splash zone for the crowd, soaking them in the supe's blood before they scream in horror]
Homelander: [rubs his temple in frustration] Oh, Jesus fucking Christ...
Jack from Jupiter: [shocked] Holy shit, what the fuck?!
[Ironcast spits out blood, as the two blood showered, platform girls scream at the sight of the gaping hole in his belly and hug each other. Due to the lack of support, Ironcast's torso immediately caves in, as he collapses onto the platform, dead]
Girl: Oh my god! [proceeds to vomit on the platform]
Hughie: [horrified at both deaths] Jings, Frenchie... What'd you put in that stuff?
[Great Wide Wonder's corpse sinks into the river, as Homelander begins to panic]
Homelander: What in the fucking Christ was that? What do we fucking do now?
Queen Maeve: The usual? [clears throat, pointing to the sun] Hidden in the light of the sun, Kroll war satellite!
Man: [looks up, pointing] I see it! I see the ship!
Woman 1: [holding her ears] Where?
Man: There! Look right into the sun!
Woman 2: [holding her ears] What?
Jack from Jupiter: [plays along] By the many moons of my homeworld, Galaxius has returned once more!
Queen Maeve: But the Great Wide Wonder?
Homelander: [to Jack from Jupiter and Queen Maeve] All we can do now is avenge him.
[The three supes fly away from the crowd]
Butcher: Quick thinking, Wonder Tits.
O.D.: Oh, [gags] oh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
Butcher: Yeah. Quite a result, wasn't it? Two for the price of one. Right. [pats O.D.'s head] We'll be in touch, mate. [walks away with Terror and Hughie] 
[O.D. groans and lies down on the bench, fearing for his life. The trio walk near the stage, staring off towards the aftermath] 
Butcher: [to Hughie] I was thinking you might be O.D.'s handler.
Hughie: [sarcastically] Oh, thanks a million.
Butcher: Come on, Hughie. Think of the fun to be had. I mean, spiking supes, mate. Are you trying to tell me you didn't enjoy that?
Hughie: [looks towards the traumatized citizens covered in blood, Ironcast's corpse, and O.D. crying on the bench] Define, "enjoy"...
[Butcher laughs, as the episode ends]