For Roberta Henderson

For Roberta Henderson
written by
William Darrell Warner, Jr.
I think writing this obituary for my Mother was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. As I sat at my desk scratching my head trying to figure out how to honor my Mom in just a few lines. How do you manage to cover 68 years in a persons life in just a small newspaper article. I did the best I could and the family said I did a good job but in my mind it did not even begin to scratch the surface about who my mom was. Many times I thought about the day my Mom would be gone but now that she is, a void has opened in my life that I don't know if I can repair. I guess like all people I look back on the relationship I had with my Mom and wonder what more could I have done for her. I know in the last year I had become closer to Mom more than I have ever been in my entire life. It has been a year since I bought my house and it seems like a life time ago. Mom was proud to see me finally buy a house and have a yard for Megan. I bought this old house that really needed a lot of work and had a lot to do in order to move in. The kitchen was horrible and I can remember Mom being so supportive and saying that it wasn't so bad and that she had lived in worse. Mom and Joe would come over and help clean things up during the construction phase. The stove that was in the house was so nasty I was going to throw it out and get a new one. Mom gave me a list of cleaning supplies that she and Joe needed and came over one day and cleaned it. Much to my amazement it looked like a new stove when they were done. She really liked telling everyone about that. I only had six weeks to get the house ready to move in because I had to get out of the apartment I was staying in. Well the house was not ready in time so she had me and Megan stay with them a couple of weeks while I worked on it. Working a full time job and working on the house at night was hard on me but it was nice to have Mom helping me along. Sometimes Mom would tell me to take a night off from the house and I would laugh and tell her I have to get it done. I'd say staying with her reminded me of why I moved out over 20 years ago. She would laugh and say go on. After I got the house ready and moved in she came over and inspected things and gave me her approval. After it was done she said she could tell me this now. She said when she first saw the house all she could think about was what did Darrell get himself into. It was horrible. Then when It was done and looked like new she said she was so proud and never dreamed I could do what I did. It felt good to know Mom was proud of me even at 40 years old. I would have Mom and Joe over for supper about every other week if possible. It was fun cooking for them. If I did a good job she would let the whole family know. It was in the last 4 months that I cooked two of the best things she said I cooked. One night it was fried fish with home made hush puppies and the other was honey mustard chicken breast with a dish called parsley potatoes. I never knew how much Mom bragged on some of the things I cooked until I heard my Aunt Rosy talk about my cooking at the family reunion. I just smiled at Mom and new inside how much she loved me. I thank God that I got to know my Mom again in the last year.
As I sit here and dwell on the past not everything was easy with Mom as I was growing up. I remember when I moved away from home. I was just leaving the house to go out on a date with Penny Crigger and Mom decided that I needed to go mail a letter for her. I did not have time as I remember it and told her no and a big argument broke out over a letter. After shouting at each other I told her I was leaving and moving out for good. I called my cousin Bubby and told him what had happened and he let me move in with him until I could find a place. Thanks to him and my sister Donna I had a place with in a few days and was ready to set out upon my own. Mom did finally give in and call down to Bubby's and asked me to come home. I told her I had and apartment and would not be coming home again. After talking for awhile we did come to an agreement that I would come back home for the few days I had left before I took over my apartment. As I look back now it seams so funny when I think about it. It was all over mailing a letter. But I guess it really was more than a letter when you look between the lines. I was becoming a man and my Mom was still trying to keep me a boy. That letter didn't need to be mailed that night and I could have dropped it off on my way out of town. It was just a mother and a son who wanted to stay together but both knew it was time for each to have a separate life.
Category:Stories from the Warner Family
Category:Stories