It Sucks to be H.A.R.P.

Garrett wandered the aisles looking for the H.A.R.P. Consultants. He'd been told by Myka to find them somewhere by the Film & Theater Wing as they were shelving an artifact they had just picked up from England.
Wandering through, Garret eventually heard voices a shelf over, going around, he saw a guy and girl in their early twenties shelving foam puppets. He wanted to ask if they were H.A.R.P, but something was stopping him from actually going any further, as if it wasn't his time yet.
----
Climbing down the rolling ladder, Matt looked at Nikki, "You know, before the Warehouse I thought I would be the head barista at local cafe, but now I'm 21 and as you can see, I'm not. Oh well....it sucks to be me."
"No..." Nikki tried to comfort
"It sucks to be me," Matt argued in a sing-songy voice, "It sucks to broke and out of cash and turning 22, it sucks to be me."
As Matt reached the ground, Nikki argued back, "You life doesn't suck so bad. I'm kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart."
"You are."
"Thanks!" Nikki smiled, "I like romantic things like flowers and art; and as you know I have a gigantic heart, so why don't I have a boyfriend? Fuck! It sucks to be."
"It sucks to be me." Matt fired back.
"It sucks Nikki."
"Or Matt."
"To not have date!"
"To not serve low-fat!"
"It sucks to be ME!" the two finished in unison.
From the other end of the shelf, Tyler and Bri came walking up, arms linked, but lightly bickering. As they neared the other two, Matt called out to them, "Tyler, Bri, can you settle something for us?"
The couple shrugged, "Sure."
"Whose life sucks more?" Nikki asked, "Matt's or mine?"
The two looked at each other for a second before answering, "OURS!"
Tyler started them off, "We live together-"
"-We're close as people can get." Bri says cuddling him.
"We've been the best of friends-"
"-Ever since the day we met," Bri's smile slowly melted away, "So he knows lots of ways to get me really upset! Oh, everyday is an aggravation..."
Tyler pulled his arm away and stepped back before pointing at her, "I'm calling that an exaggeration!"
Bri's eyes squinted, "You leave your clothes out, you put your feet in my chair."
"Oh yeah!" Tyler responded, "You do such anal things like sorting all the clothes you wear!"
"You make that very small apartment we share a hell!"
"So do you, that's why I'm in hell too! It sucks to be me...."
"It sucks to be me..." Bri picked up.
"It sucks to be me..." Matt chimed in.
"It sucks to be me...." Nikki rounded out.
"Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be? It sucks to be me!" they sang in unison.
----
As Garret stared, another male waked past him towards the four....
----
Blaine tilted his head at his four co-workers, "Why are you all so sing-songy?"
Matt spoke up, "Our lives suck!"
"You think your lives suck? Am I hearing this correctly? HA!" Blaine laughed as he started to rant:
"I came to the Warehouse due to time anomalies. Tried to work in the field, but I got paperwork! That is until HG Well called upon me, and now I am valued! That is until I made the device...." He puts his hand behind his head and sheepishly grinned at Bri and Tyler who were giving him the stink eye, "And you guys are still kinda mad about that, but my point is this: It sucks to be ME! It sucks to be me! I say it sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-SUCKS to be me!"
----
Finally feeling 'ready', Garret walked out of the shadows, "Um....excuse me?"
Tyler looked at him, "Garret....what are you doing all the way out here?"
"I was told by Artie and the others that I'm supposed to learn with you guys..." He explained
Matt raised an eyebrow, "Let's clear this up with our head. I'll get him." Turning, he calls down the shelf, "HEY! ESCHER!"
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" A dutch-accented voice came down the aisle. As the figure got closer, Garret couldn't believe his eyes.
"Oh my god...it's M.C. Escher!"
"Yes I am!" he replied, but before he could go on in his voice he looked up at the newly placed artifact and climbed the ladder and sprayed it with some aerosol neutralizer. As the puppets sparked, Garret felt the urge to be sing-songy fall away.
"Sorry about that." Escher replied as he climbed down, "Avenue Q Puppets. Feeds on the hard lessons of adult life and turns them into musical numbers. Rather powerful to catch up all four of you-" He pointed at Tyler, Bri, Nikki, and Matt, "In song. Just be happy it wasn't Everyone's a Little Bit Racist." 
The four consultants muttered apologies.
Walking to Garret, Escher held out his hand, "Like I you said, I am M.C. Escher, and if you'd like, I can fill you in on the Historical Artifact Recovery Personal. We have cinnamon buns."