Shadow of the Colossal Donut/Quotes

===Homer Simpson===
====Running away from the Lard Lad's Donuts Statue====
*You'll have to stop him Bart! I'm too drunk!
*Believe in yourself boy! Even if I don't!
*I can't hit him! He's too awesome!
*Hey, I called no lasers!
*Ow!! Laser means pain!!
*Lard Lad?! Say hello to Lard Dad!
====Attacking enemies====
*Ew! Bugs dressed like clowns!
*I wonder if I could eat these mini-clowns?
*More of them?! But I thought I was done! I already dusted my hands.
*Oh no! More mini-Krustys! Heh heh, I wonder if they come in one tiny clown car?
*Homer kill Krustys...
*I wish I had my clown poison.
*I can't hurt these little guys! How can something so cute be so dangerous?
*Poor little guys. I hope they're happy in their little mini circus ****.
*Dear god, no need to panic, just another roving hoard of blood-thirsty mini-clowns! AAAAHHHHH!!!
*Yeesh! How many of these things did Krusty throw up?
====Turning into Helium Homer====
*(giggles) Me floatie!
*Look at me, I'm as light as a princess!
*Whoa, I'm slightly lighter than air!
===Bart Simpson===
* (After all the hatches destroyed) Look out, Homer! He's gonna blow!
====Running away from the Lard Lads Donuts Statue====
*Not cool!
*That burns!!
*Hey!
*Aren't fat guys supposed to be turned to fun?!
====Attacking enemies====
*More Mini-Krustys! I'm both star-struck, and terrified!
*Help! Mini-clowns!
*Tiny Krustys are only half as funny!
*Here they come again! To calm myself down, I'll just picture them naked. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*I'm gonna stomp you, you little freaks!
*Ew, their creepy little fingers freak me out!
*Oh! What surprised! More muderous clowns!
*Not cool!
===Kent Brockman===
* Get ready for a stomp and, unfortunately, I'm not talking about the musical.
* Hold onto your hats, here comes a stomp!
* Lard Lad's about to break out his stomping foot.
* This guy has a really textbook stomp.
* Taking a page out of Michael Jordan's book, Lard Lad has brought a bunch of robotic clowns to life.
* It seems like an obvious move in retrospect, but Lard Lad has used his lasers to bring a bunch of tiny Krustys on the billboard to life.
* If there isn't a break of the action soon, I am going to mess myself.
* Bart, like my stock portfolio, has gone down.
* If this is the end for Bart Simpson, let's all remember him as he was, a royal pain in the **s.
* Bart Simpson's is in poor condition, He may have cowabunga'd for the last time.
*Bart's down! And not just emotionally!
* Homer's down! And with no abdominal muscles whatsoever, he may be out.
* Homer's been dropped, like a sack of lumpy mashed potatoes.
* Down goes Homer and with him the hopes of the nation. (Burps) 'Scuse me, I had enchiladas for lunch, you wouldn't want to be in this booth right now.
* Homer's at Death's doorstep, and Death has turned off the lights to pretend he's not home.
* If this is the end for Homer, I call dibs on his clothes.
* Lard Lad has lost Bart and Homer. But don't relax yet, he's determined to find the father and son and, I assume, to skin them alive.
* Lard Lad is searching for Homer and Bart, he sure is persistent for a 50-year-old logo.
* (Chuckling) giant fat donut sign aided by tiny billboard clowns, heh heh! A classic comedy pairing.
* He's spotted them! Back to the terror!
* From a vantage point, I can't tell if Lard Lad's laser is pulse or continuous?
* It looks like he is charging up... wait, I'm getting an update... yes, it is a laser...
* It's my vanity more than my drinking if I'm doubtful.
* This Lard Lad's stomp's brought to you by Dave's Big Screens of Shelbyville. If you need a big screen, go to Dave's!
* Lard Lad is heading straight for the prison. I say, If he can tackle the problems of our troubled penal system, he's got my vote.
* Lard Lad seems to be making his way to the piers, and who can blame him? It's a wonderful place to hang out and take a break from the pressures of being a horrible monster.
* All in Springfield is praying that Bart and Homer disable the monster's **s.
* (The second hatch opens) A second hatch emerges! Lard Lad's body is a wonderland.
* (The third hatch opens) Celebrity deaths and monster hatches always come in threes.
* How much more damage can the food icon of yesteryear endure?
* I got my starters as Oprah's butler. True story.
* I love how these pants feel.
* Deep down, I feel there is something disturbing about evolution.
* I'd say my sanity more than my drinking has been my downfall?
*(After the hatch closes) Lard Lad is running away!
* I'm sorry but Tom Wolfe dresses like Colonel Sanders.
* (After the first hatch destroyed) Lard Lad learned the hard way that Bart Simpson is a real pain in the behind.
*(After the second hatch destroyed) If I'm not mistaken, we're in for a real treat. Lard Lad's about to destroy our town with a laser.
*And here comes the laser!
* It's beautiful day for laser attack.
* According to my notes when Lard Lad charges up his laser, he does so with solar panels implanted in his bow tie. Fascinating.
* The good lesson for you kids you can't fire your laser if you don't charge it up first
* the way Lard Lad charging up that laser reminds me of my wife with a credit card. (Laughs)
* From this vantage point I can't tell if Lard Lad's laser will be pulse or continuous
===Krusty EA Dolls===
*Collect all of me!
*I'm a self-hating clown.
*Krusty says die!
*I want go-go!
*I like illegal things!
*Who wants a thousand mini-Krustys?!
*Is it a crime to be illiterate?
*What the **** was that?!
*We're going to greatest place on Earth! Tiajauna!
*I'm Krusty the Clown and I'm going to kill you!
*(giggles)
*Hey kids! Who do you love?!
*Little Krusty will give you a little death!
=== Rigellians ===
* Human! Ugly human!
* Kill the humanoids!
* Humans are flawed!
* No one will mourn you!
* I was **** Cheney all along.
* Human ladies are fine!
* Human skin is delicious!
* Open fire!
* Check that out!
* We will harvest your hair for space wigs!
* Our only emotion is hate!
* Your weakness amuses us!
* You're no match for us!
* Killing human is like sex to us!
* Hey!
* Right this way!
* There they are!
* Get your affairs in order!
* Shazbot!
* (gasps) The humanoids!
* I hope you like being stabbed!
* I hate Earth, but I love Earth pie!
* Your only fate is death!
* D'oh!
* Whaaa?
* Gaaah!
* Why won't you die!
* Holy cow!
* Surrender!
* Burn their brains!
* Must crush humans!
* Yikes!
* We can smell your fear and your colognes.
* You know who I like? Those kids from "High School Musical".
* Do I look fat today? Because I feel bloated.
* I'm sorry I snapped at you today, I haven't been sleeping.
* We will turn your dogs into mittens.
* Our giant eye is vastly superior to your two small eyes!
* Prepare to be conquered by our species: homo-aliens!
* Resistance is futile!
* Mankind is weak and ugly!
* You're laughably weak!
* Get your affairs in order!
* So I told her I'm to focused on my career to hink about dating right now.
=== Krusty Burger Drive-Through Voice ===
* Welcome to Krusty Burger! We use only the freshest chemicals!
* At Krusty Burger, you can have it our way!
=== Lard Lad Defeated ===
* Homer: [Punches Lard Lad at the "Tenders"] Who's number one? We're number one! That's Right!
Category:Quotes
Category:The Simpsons Game