COKE/CAGE/Transcript

== Event 1 ==
* Scott Howl: Bro, I need your help! Prom night is going to be a nightmare!
* The Narrator: Hm… not exactly encouraging words from the person you were considering asking, but okay.
* Scott: I’m so sad, bro! I just called my grandma to ask her where my phone was, and she told me that this year, prom night is on a full moon!
* Scott: I can’t go to prom on a full moon - I’ll turn into a wolf! And then I won’t be able to dance or wear my tux! Or control my desire to rip everyone apart limb from limb!
* Scott: I know it’s asking a lot, but… could you help me? You’re, like, the smartest person I know!
* Narrator: Does… Scott know any other people? Signs are pointing to “no.”
* Scott: Oh, did I say smart? I think I meant “best at coming up with weird plans.” And I have a weird plan!
* Scott: I’ve seen lots of TV shows where they lock up the werewolf in a cage when the moon is full so they don’t escape and hurt people. We could try that!
* Scott: That was my first plan, anyway. I’ve also thought of training a DIFFERENT wolf to be my buddy, so he can talk to me while I’m a wolf and we can go to prom together!
* Scott: If there are two wolves there, maybe it won’t be so weird!
* Narrator: No, that’ll never work. And even if it does, like hell you’re letting some other mangy mutt take Scott to prom!
* Narrator: You just need to build a werewolf-proof cage! Unfortunately, you’ve seen firsthand that Scott’s fangs can cleave a stripper pole in two (long story), so it’ll need to be strong.
* Narrator: So, where can you find something wolf-proof on such short notice?
=== Options ===
# Go on an adventure to steal the legendary cage of Krok'to'az, the vengeful deity of torment. It's actually where Krok'to'az puts his dog when he needs to go to the vet. (BOLD)
# Just put one of those "DO NOT DISTURB" hotel things on the inside of the cage, so Scott, being a good boy, won't disturb the outside. (FUN)
==== BOLD ====
===== SUCCESS =====
* Narrator: You and Scott go on a harrowing journey to the center of the Underdark Dimension, land of madness and despair.
* Narrator: You fight monsters, bargain with hellions, cross a river of blood in a boat made of bad vibes… it’s altogether your second-most dangerous day of school ever.
* Scott: Hey, (Player), I think that’s Ktok’to’az!
* Scott: Unless there are two guys here who sit on thrones of rusty spoons surrounded by a choir of screaming shadows.
* Narrator: “NO,” says Krok’to’az. “THERE ARE NO OTHERS. I AM THE BEGINNING AND THE END, FOR TORMENT IS ETERNAL.”
* Scott: Cool! Can we pretty-please borrow your cage?
* Narrator: “DO YOU MEAN THE CAGE OF BONES AND IMMORTAL DAMNATION, OR THE CAGE OF BUSTER, MY DOG?”
* Scott: Uh… second one! I think. I kinda like bones to… hey, (Player), can we get that one instead?!
* Narrator: “NO, THE BONE CAGE IS OCCUPIED. BUT YOU MAY BORROW BUSTER’S CAGE. FROM ONE DOG-LOVER TO ANOTHER.”
* Scott: Yay, thank you! You’re pretty cool for a god of torture!
* Narrator: “OF COURSE I AM! I MAY BE A MALEVOLENT FORCE OF EVIL, BUT I STILL HAVE HOBBIES. I’M ALSO INTO SUCCULENTS AND BAKING.”
* Narrator: “OH, AS LONG AS YOU’RE TAKING THE CAGE, YOU CAN ALSO BORROW BUSTER’S VIBRANIUM FLEA COLLAR AND HIS LEGENDARY KIBBLE OF CTHULU.”
* Scott: Wow, that’s awesome! I can’t wait to wear and eat this stuff when I’m going feral! You’re the best, Krok’to’az!
* Narrator: Awesome! Ktok’to’az gives you guys an escort out of the Underdark Dimension and leaves you with the phone number of a good demonic vet if you need it. You gain +2 CHARM and +1 FUN!
===== FAILURE =====
TBA
==== FUN ====
===== SUCCESS =====
* Scott: Wow! You really think that will work? It just kinda looks like paper.
* Narrator: It is just paper! Luckily Scott will believe anything. Also this will probably not come back to bite you in the ass later when you actually DO need to contain him… right?
* The Coven: (Player)! Where did you get the “Do Not Disturb” Placard of Motel Merlin?!
* Coven: We’ve been looking everywhere for that powerful artifact! It was forged by the Holiday Inn Wizards’ Council themselves!
* Coven: Legend has it that these things were solely responsible for preventing Hitler from invading South Africa!
* Coven: And now that the obligatory infodump is out of the way, we need you to give it to us, like, right now. It’s saving-the-world business, strictly need to know.
* Scott: But we need it! (Player) is gonna use it to lock me in a cage on prom night!
* Coven: Um… why? Is it a fetish thing?
* Scott: No, silly, it’s just a favor! (S)he might also put me in handcuffs and a muzzle while he’s at it.
* Scott: Because I’ll be a feral dog, and (s)he will be my stern master.
* Coven: Ugh… just take it. It sounds like you guys have already practiced this thing, and we don’t wanna touch any stray fluids that might’ve gotten on the placard.
* Narrator: Well, now your classmates think you’re a fucking freak, but what else is new? At least you accidentally’d yourself into a werewolf prison, and you get +2 CHARM and +1 BOLDNESS!
===== FAILURE =====
TBA
== Event 2 ==
* Narrator: You told Scott you’d meet up with him afterwards to work on his “Titanium Housed Incarceration Room Specifically Tailored for Totally Rambunctious Animal-People” device (THIRSTTRAP for short)
* Scott: Okay, I think we’re almost done. The THIRSTTRAP’s got three layers of silver bars, sixteen padlocks, a rotting corpse for if I get hungry…
* Scott: ...porno mags, one of those thingies that shakes when you put it in your butt - I broke mine last full moon, but my grandma said I can borrow hers! She’s such a sweetheart.
* Narrator: You have many questions, like why does Scott need sex stuff while he’s a wolf? Or why does his grandma need it.. At all? And how soon can you forget that knowledge?
* Scott: Oh, I know the answer! When I turn into a wolf I can’t really control myself, and a lot of my “primitive desires” get amplified.
* Scott: ...That’s what my grandma says anyway. I dunno. Apparently I get really hungry and kinda humpy while I’m a wolf. That’s what the cage is for!
* Scott: It’s okay, you’ll see! You are gonna stay with me while it’s happening, right? In case I escape?
* Narrator: Ohhhh, you are SO gonna be there.
* Scott: Great! Then the last step is to decorate the cage and make it look all pretty!
* Scott: ...Why do you look confused? Of course we’ve gotta make it look nice. Wolf-Scott will be so happy that Normal-Boy-Scott cleaned up the place for him!
* Narrator: Well, Wolf-Scott is the one you’ll hopefully be boinking later, so his happiness is definitely a priority. What could spruce this prison up?
=== Options ===
# A very positive piece of abstract art. (CREATIVITY)
# Nothing is as beautiful as Scott… so 50 posters of Scott’s face. (CHARM)
==== CREATIVITY ====
===== SUCCESS =====
* Scott: Cool, okay! I understood… a couple of those words, and I have no further questions. Let’s do whatever you just suggested!
* Narrator: Ah, nothing is more charming than Scott’s hapless blind faith in others. Luckily you actually do have a good idea.
* Narrator: You choose your favorite piece of postmodernist abstract art. (Yeah, you actually have a list, you fuckin’ nerd.) It’s the Duchamp toilet!
* Narrator: You and Scott go on a thrilling museum heist and steal the dazzling, weirdly-shaped toilet in question from the famous Indiana University Art Museum!
* Narrator: ...Okay, it’s actually just a regular toilet from the museum bathroom because you couldn’t manage to bribe the guard guarding the real Duchamp toilet, but still. You’re a badass.
* Scott: Yay, it’s a fancy potty! This is way better than art!
* Scott: The best decoration in any new home is the one that’ll prevent you from filling the place up with poop. I love it! Thanks, (Player)!
* Narrator: You live to please. In the sky above you, the clouds reform to create the spirit of Duchamp himself smiling down on you. Finally, someone understands the message behind his work.
* Narrator: You wonder if you should tell Scott there are no pipes attached to the toilet… but honestly, Wolf-Scott probably isn’t toilet-trained anyway. You gain +2 BOLDNESS and +1 FUN!
===== FAILURE =====
TBA
==== CHARM ====
===== SUCCESS =====
* Scott: Whoa, are these posters of my face? I really like this! Gosh I’m so handsome!
* Scott: This is a great idea, (Player). The cage looks really nice now, and seeing my face will be a great reminder to wolf-me when I forget who I am!
* Scott: He’ll be all, “GRRRR, WHO AM I? AM I HANDSOME?” Then he’ll see the posters and be all, “Oh yeah, I’m Scott Howl, and I’m super handsome!” It’ll make him calmer and less murder-y!
* Scott: Not to mention these posters will be a great way to let people know whose cage this is. Now anybody who looks in there and sees a rabid, hungry wolf is gonna look at the posters and know it’s actually me!
* Scott: That’ll be helpful, since Wolf-Scott is currently wanted for the murder of an entire pizzeria staff. If the police see it’s actually Me-Scott in there, they won’t arrest him!
* Scott: The whole design screams, “THIS IS SCOTT’S CAGE!” I love it!
* Narrator: There were a lot of weird things about what Scott just said, but you’re just glad he didn’t ask where you got the 50 posters on such short notice. You gain +2 FUN and +1 CHARM!
===== FAILURE =====
TBA
== Event 3 ==
* Narrator :That night, Scott invites you over to “practice” being in a cage for twelve hours. You’re not sure exactly what that entails, but you put on your sexy underpants just in case.
* Scott: Thanks for coming to practice, (Player)! Coach says practice makes perfect, and the big game is tomorrow, so we need to prepare our teamwork!
* Scott: My job is to be the wolf and sit in this cage. You’ll be on defense, making sure I don’t escape and terrorize any innocent women, children, or herds of sheep.
* Scott: Don’t worry, you’ll do fine! But I should warn you that when I’m a wolf I can’t really control my base desires. Wolf-Scott isn’t as smart as Me-Scott!
* Scott: So if I start getting all primitive and handsy, I want you to know it’s only because of the feelings I think I’m catching for you!
* Scott: I just don’t want things to get awkward. If you want me to leave you alone, you can squirt me with this Super Soaker! That should calm me down.
* Narrator: Oh, don’t worry Scott. You won’t be needing a water gun to get super soaked on prom night.
* Scott: Cool! I have no idea what that means, because I don’t understand innuendo! I’m gonna get in the cage now.
* Narrator: Scott gets in his cage. You sit down and stare at him silently in the cage. Thus proceeds one of the weirdest hours of your life.
* Scott: Hmmmmm… is it just me, or is this really, really boring?
* Scott: If I’m already getting all stir-crazy, Wolf-Scott’s gonna be super irritable, and that probably won’t be good for the whole staying-in-the-cage plan.
* Scott: Maybe we should put some fun distractions in here! You know, something fun to pass the time. I have a very active brain, you know.
* Narrator: Yeah, okay. A distraction sounds reasonable. What could keep Scott occupied while he’s sitting in a box for several hours straight?
=== Options ===
# A friend! ...Carefully crafted out of a football, with a silly face drawn on it. (FUN)
# A werewolf's favorite pastime: were-sudoku! (SMART)
==== FUN ====
===== SUCCESS =====
* Narrator: One paintbrush, a bottle of not-your-bloo, and a half-deflated football later, you’ve given life to… WATSON!
* Sscott: Hey, this is perfect! I like football, and Watson IS a football, so we already have so much in common! It’s a wonderful friendship waiting to happen!
* Scott: Half of my friends are balls, actually! There’s Ollie the volleyball, Fergus the golf ball, Troy the basketball - he’s the best, he REALLY gets his head in the game…
* Scott: I also used to have Barry the Beachball. He was cool, but then he fell in love with Tracy the Thumback (sic). It wasn’t a very healthy relationship.
* Scott: But at least now I have Watson! He looks like the perfect friend to bring to the back. I can’t wait to get to know him better!
* Narrator: Yep… and you’re definitely not jealous of a football right now. You’re just helping your good buddy Scott and coincidentally considering stabbing a football with a knife.
* Narrator: Regardless of whatever mysterious accidents may befall Watson, you and Scott nail this trial cage run. You can’t wait for the real thing! You gain +2 CHARM and +1 FUN.
===== FAILURE =====
TBA
==== SMARTS ====
===== SUCCESS =====
* Narrator: You hand Scott a sudoku book. You got it from the library, so it’s already half-filled out, but whatever.
* Scott: Okay, these seem kinda fun. I’m not normally good with numbers, but maybe Wolf-Scott will be! He’s definitely good at killing people; maybe he has other hobbies.
* Scott: I don’t get what makes them were-sudokus, though. What does that mean?
* Narrator: It’s simple, really. You explain to Scott that during the full moon, these normal-looking unsolved sudokus actually turn into… SOLVED SUDOKUS!
* Scott: GASP! That’s crazy! I thought they were solved by smart people, but this makes way more sense!
* Scott: Wow, me and these were-sudokus have so much in common! They’ll be great company while Wolf-Scott is busy trying to maul everyone I know and love.
* Scott: It’s nice to be understood. Thanks, (Player)!
* Narrator: The pleasure’s all yours. You make a mental note to solve the sudokus while Scott is wolfed-out so that he’ll be none the wiser.
* Narrator: You and Scott nail this practice run, and with any luck you’ll soon be nailing each other. +2 CHARM and +1 FUN for you!
===== FAILURE =====
TBA
== Prom Night ==
* Player: (Selects Scott)
* Scott: Prom? Bro, what do you think we spent all that time building the cage for? I can’t go to prom!
* Scott: I gotta stay home in my little prison and let this whole werewolf thing ride itself out. Like diarrhea!
* Scott: I promise it won’t be so bad. We can watch movies, and you can toss me raw meat and I'll catch it in my mouth!
* Scott: Oh, and the last time I wolfed out I did a LOT of sex. So, I mean, if you’re into that, maybe - ?
* Narrator: YES. YES. THE ANSWER IS YES.
* Narrator: You meet at Scott’s house that night. He transforms into a wolf, all right, and you’re sure the cage would’ve been really good at containing him if you hadn’t unlocked it.
* (Ending image appears) 
* Narrator: Luckily, Wolf-Scott is great company! He’s buff, he lets you watch whatever movies you want (because he can’t see TV screens), and he’s super into fucking!
* Narrator: You engage in a ravenous, bloody evening so fuckin’ wild that you don’t even mind the implications of having sex with what might be more an animal than a person.
* Narrator: AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-GA!
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