BrantSteele Tales - Hunger Games (Characters/Celebs Edition)

DISCLAIMER: Havent watched any of the Hunger Games movies. Yeah IK stop judging me OK Anyways I was just playing this and shit and I was so inspired I wrote a fic version of it. So if this doesnt resemble any of the HG bs thats bc i didnt fucking watch them.
this is just some stupid bs that i wanna write as im playing this so BASICALLY THE CONTESTANTS ARE:
== CONTESTANTS BITCH ==
=== 1st District ===
* Makoto Naegi
* Junko Enoshima
* Kyoko Kirigiri
* Kiyotaka Ishimaru
=== 2nd District ===
* Harleen Quinzel
* Pamela Isley
* Dick Grayson/Nightwing
* Bruce Wayne/Batman
=== 3rd District ===
* Snow White
* Belle
* Moana
* Aurora
=== 4th District ===
* Taylor Swift
* Justin Bieber
* Ariana Grande
* Shawn Mendes
=== 5th District ===
* Lena Dunham
* Jake Paul
* Meghan Trainor
* Amy Schumer
=== 6th District ===
* Chanel Oberlin
* Sadie Swenson
* Libby Putney
* Hester Ulrich
=== 7th District ===
* Aoi Asahina
* Sakura Ogami
* Yasuhiro Hagakure
* Byakuya Togami
=== 8th District ===
* Diana Prince/Wonder Woman
* Barbara Gordon/Batgirl
* Clark Kent/Superman
* Barry Allen/Flash
=== 9th District ===
* Jasmine
* Rapunzel
* Cinderella
* Ariel
=== 10th District ===
* Katy Perry
* Ed Sheeran
* Miley Cyrus
* Demi Lovato
=== 11th District ===
* Nikki Grahame
* Kim Kardashian
* Kelly Clarkson
* Paul Abrahamian
=== 12th District ===
* Blela Throne
* Selina Kyle/Catwoman
* Will Smith
* Cara Delevingne
== TOM I JUST WANT TO KNOW WTF HAPPENS IN THIS BULLSHIT GAME ==
=== THE BLOODBATH ===
So all of these 48 contestants are standing on their podiums. The horn sounds.
Ariana Grande clutches a first aid kit and runs away from the Cornucopia, as does Lena fucking Dunham. Meanwhile, or should I say, Moanwhile hehehehehehe
MOANA: omfg a sword... must be the ocean's calling
Moana grabs the sword leaning on the Cornucopia. Poison Ivy runs away from the Cornucopia. Meanwhile, Miley's a little drunk.
MILEY: wtf is dis i better hyde
Miley hides. Justin Bieber runs away from the Cornucopia. Selina is in the Cornucopia, stealthly looking for shit. She finds a bottle of alcohol and a rag.
SELINA: Well if I'm gonna survive in this fucking place I guess I better have it
Flash, Chanel, Hiro and Amy Schumer run away from the Cornucopia. Will Smith grabs a jar of fishing bait while Jasmine gets fishing gear. Katy runs away from the Cornucopia.
CARA DELEIVNGINGINGINEE: welp wtf do i do now
Cara witnesses Aurora sleeping. In her hands, she had a lighter and some rope.
CARA (thinking): This is the perfect chance to kill her omfg-- NAH this dumb bitch will die anyways soo
Cara grabs the lighter and some rope from Aurora's hands and runs the fuck away. Batgirl, who witnessed Cara, stealthly got closer to Aurora's unconscious body.
BATGIRL: fuck the bitch snores af... WELP ANYWAYS
Batgirl walks away from Aurora's corpse but a few seconds after that, someone grabs her by the neck and slashes her throat. That person proving to be a triggered Aurora.
AURORA: I DONT SNORE
AURORA: ...do I?
Meanwhile, Nightwing, Paul Abrahamian and Sakura are all fighting. Nightwing is quickly dethroned by both Paul and Sakura, who are ready to kill him.
PAUL: you dumbass bitch, thinking you could overpower me, im a fan favorite bitch
SAKURA: If I had a penny for every time someone cried after they discovered my dead body, I'd be a zillionaire.
NIGHTWING: bitch please im batman's son
Nightwing gets on his two feet and murders both Paul and Sakura, while everyone fucking cries.
MANDY: AAAA FUCK THIS FUCK THIS IN THE FUCKING ASS
TOM & CLAIRE: NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN HIRO DID NOT JUST FUCKING LIVE MORE THAN SAKURA THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT
Back to the game...
Chanel #3 and Kelly Clarkson run away from the Cornucopia, while a dumbass Jake Paul comes across a jar of fishing gear.
JAKE PAUL: WHAT ARE THOSE
JAKE PAUL: srsly tf is dat
At the same time...
KYOKO: Hmm... fishing gear. Interesting. My suspicions were confirmed.
Nikki Grahame, Hester, Chanel #5, Hina and Blela Throne run away from the Cornucopia. Kim Kardashian takes a sickle from inside the Cornucopia. Meanwhile, at the Cornucopia, Makoto Naegi is casually walking as he discovers a pair of sais.
MAKOTO: YAS NAEGI YES WITH UR HOPE U MANAGED TO FIND A PAIR OF SAIS NOW WHATS LEFT IS TO BANG SOMEONE IN THE HUNGER GAMES AND FINALLY LOSE MY VIRGIN!
MAKOTO: Oh, um, hi Cinderelli!
Terrified, Cinderella, who was listening to Makoto, runs away.
MAKOTO: ...fuck
Harley Quinn and Superman run away from the Cornucopia. The latter has a lighter and a rope. Meanwhile, Snow White, Demi Lovato and Ed Sheeran are working together to find as much supplies as fucking possible.
DEMI: so um have you guys found anything yet
SNOW WHITE: um were we supposed to look for it?
DEMI: ...
SNOW WHITE: im wishing im wishing for a pair of sais
ED: damn girl im in love with the shape of you
DEMI: dont you dare you neckbeard
ED: IM NOT A NECKBEARD IM A GENERIC COUNTRY/POP SINGER
DEMI: just fucking look for the dumb shit please
ED: finuh
ED: bitch
DEMI: sorry not sorry
SNOW WHITE: thank god he left... Did you see the way he treated me?
DEMI: DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK NOW GO AWAY AND SEARCH FOR FUCKING SUPPLIES YOU GODDAMN BITCH
SNOW WHITE: running
Batman runs away from the Cornucopia. Belle gathers as much food as she can. Taylor AKA Crazy Ex-Girlfriend AKA Blank Face AKA Swish Swish Bish runs away from the Cornucopia. Meanwhile, Shawn Mendes, Byakuya Togami and Kiyotaka Ishimaru are fighting. Byakuya easily dethrones Shawn and plunges a spear into his throat.
TAKA: STABBING YOUR FRIENDS ISNT ALLOWED IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT
BYAKUYA: hey look someones running in the halls
TAKA: huh
Byakuya stabs Taka with the same spear.
BYAKUYA: HA! The esteemed Byakuya Togami has proclaimed victory!
Meghan Trainor AKA NO and Wonder Woman run away from the Cornucopia. Rapunzel grabs a backpack full of camping equipment with her hair and runs away. Junko is hanging out in the Cornucopia, while she witnesses a scared Ariel.
ARIEL: I... I... MAYBE KING TRITON WAS RIGHT... MAYBE IM JUST NOT MADE TO BE PART OF THIS WORLD
Ariel stabs herself, as Junko watches.
JUNKO: Muahahahahahahahaha... despair 4 life
=== DAY 1 ===
In the Demi alliance, Ed is practicing his archery.
ED: Maybe in 7 years I can be the next Green Arrow...
Ed hears a sound. He quickly gets the arrow and prepares to shoot it, when he finds out Snow White walking. Her body is weak.
SNOW WHITE: E-Ed... He-help me... I-I need t-to find my Pr-Prince Char-arming...
ED: gurl u just found your man, no one better than me
Snow White screams and falls, dying of thirst.
ED: i came too strong didnt i
Meanwhile, Kim is singing her jam, "Jam", Catwoman stealthly grabs her Gucci bag and runs away with it.
KIM: OMG WTFFFFFFFFFF CATBITCH IF YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
Kim puts on her crying face. Tragic. Meanwhile, Katy Perry is just wondering around the woods.
KATY (thinking): AAA cant wait to win this bs and get back to my diabetes candy filled house... im still into that right? i kinda forgot who i am
Suddenly, Katy sees Rapunzel hunting and runs the fuck away. Meanwhile, Makoto discovers a river.
MAKOTO: YASS I hoped for a river... because im thirsty. desperate huh
Meanwhile, Hiro and Hina were going around, hunting for other tributes.
HINA: when your life is so fucked the only person that can help you is a son of a bitch with a 1 digit IQ
HIRO (screaming): DONT BE MEAN
HINA: STFU youll attract the other tributes
JUNKO: wasnt that ur plan after all
Hiro and Hina turn around and see Junko with Belle smiling.
JUNKO (queen-self): Why, hello, peasants! May I assist you with anything?
HINA: umm wtf junko werent you dead
JUNKO (still queen-self): If I do recall, Sakura is also alive, with another peasants who were dead but now they're alive!
HINA: ...wait. SAKURAS ALIVE OFMGNJTGQNGUJQEGTRG
HIRO: Umm didn't you see her while we were preparing for the games?
HINA: tbh i mostly was in the kitchen practicing my binge eating donut skill
HIRO: and I'M the dumb one
HIRO: So... um, she's a ghost right?
HINA: OMG HIRO STOP IT OK, GHOSTS DONT FUCKING EXIST AND ALIENS DIDNT ABDUCT AND RAPE YOUR FUCKING HAMBURGER
HIRO: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT
LENA DUNHAM: umm, hey guys... have you liek... seen some kids around?
JUNKO: bitch nahuh... but isnt snow white like 14
BELLE: true she is... Idek wtf shes doing here
LENA DUNHAM: bitch looks like betty boop... fuck.
JUNKO: OK WELL BYE PEDO
HIRO: Actually, what if we five joined forces to hunt for tributes?
HINA: Umm... don't you mean the four of us? *whispering to Hiro* SAY TO THAT DISGUSTING BITCH NO ONE IS GONNA HUNT WITH HER RN
HIRO: but why dont you want Lena Dunham in your words, the Disgusting Bitch, to hunt with us? The more the merrier right?
Hiro's last sentence... He said it so fucking loud everyone could fucking hear.
LENA DUNHAM: Wow Asahoe--
HINA: bish wat
LENA DUNHAM: LMAO THATS SUPER CLEVER RIGHT GUESS WHAT
LENA DUNHAM: ik ur fake sillicone ass is jelly jelly filled bc im SOOOOO HOT EVERYONE JUST WANTS TO BANG ME but im a feminist and i dont shave so like NUH UH
Everyone tries to contain their cringe... Except for Hiro, that bitch just laughed. Loudly.
JUNKO: Hmm, I do love the idea of all five of us teaming up... Especially with Hiro and Lena, that means all of us could die in our search for tributes, WHICH MEANS DESPAIR
BELLE: Yeah, Junko... but some of us just want to survive
JUNKO (bored, sad self): bitch did you not just sing a song in your movie about how you want to live a non provincial life or whatever although you were fine with talking furniture and a furry man?
BELLE: STOP KINK SHAMING ME IM SURE YOU HAVE FETISHES TOO
LENA DUNHAM: Mine is--
HINA: DONUT HOLES wait what
HIRO: i fucking knew it
JUNKO (GANGSTA LOUD SELF BITCH): UGH THIS SHITPOSTING EPISODE IS JUST SOOOOOOOOOOO BORING GET THIS OFF THE RAILS MAKE IT FUN EXCITING GODDAMMIT CAN ALL YALL JUST WALK AND BE FILLED WITH SO MUCH EXCITEMENT BC YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SOME HOE IS GONNA STAB YOU IN THE TITTY
HINA: im
LENA DUNHAM: hold up did u just say titty
HIRO: My crystal balls are saying *high-pitched voice* YAS QUEEN JUNKO YAS LETS SEARCH FOR THEM TRIBUTES AND MAKE THEM FEEL DESPAIR AS WE MAKE THEM BOW DOWN TO US AND THEN SNAP THEIR COMMUNAL NECKS
JUNKO (cute self): So you little rats, let's get moving!
Meanwhile, Ivy is tending to the plants.
IVY: I know this is how they do it bc I watched five minutes of Desperate Housewives
MILEY: WE MAKE THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST OF BOTH WORLDS
Miley comes out with a dirty blonde wig and tries stabbing Ivy, but she ends up stabbing a tree.
MILEY: ok sorry im just a little high
IVY: BUT I THOUGHT U WERE NORMAL AND U WERE DATING UR EX AGAIN
MILEY: im ageless
IVY: oh fuck
Miley tries stabbing Ivy one more time, but Ivy makes a plant wall between her and Miley and runs away.
While that's happening, Jasmine and Aurora are getting along.
JASMINE: So you just stabbed that bitch right in her throat?
AURORA: YUP AND IM SUPER FUCKING EXCITED RN
AURORA: After a good sleep, everything now is just so... WILD
JASMINE: I certainly get what you mean...
JASMINE: HEY LOOK UR FAIRY GODMOTHERS ARE CALLING OUT
Aurora checks outside her shelter to see if her Fairy Godmothers have arrived, while Jasmine whips out poison and puts it on Aurora's drink. She hides the bottle in her pocket as Aurora comes back.
AURORA: Surely it was a mistake, Jasmine.
AURORA: but it did look like i saw a carpet somewhere maybe just my imagination
JASMINE: HUH
Jasmine checks outside the shelter, but bitch dont see any carpets. She comes back and hands Aurora her drink.
JASMINE: anyways, cheers... to what?
AURORA: Cheers... TO VICTORY
JASMINE: yass... victory.
They both drink their cups but suddenly...
JASMINE: Hmm... doesn't it feel good Aurora?
AURORA: HEY THATS MY LINE
JASMINE: bish da fuq do u meane
Jasmine starts coughing.
AURORA: omg see how smart I am, I told you there was a carpet lying around when there really wasnt bc i knew you had only called me bc you wanted to poison me bc i can still see the drink outside ur pocket so i switched the drinks while u werent looking lmao how smart am i
JASMINE: YOU
JASMINE: LITTLE
AURORA: KWEEN IK TY
AURORA: now get ready to die mothafuc--
Meanwhile...
Batman is somewhere.
BATMAN (thinking): I wonder where my boy is. Ahh... The good old days where I wanted to secretly banged him. That was in the 30s right? so fucking weird... but so fucking hot. Anyways I do miss my Papa. And my Mama. Specially Mama. Mama gave me a toy. It was a dildo. And then she died. And I screamed like a bitch. Anyways why are we in this shelter? And why am I talking about my weird phases? IM BATMAN FFS I WANNA DO SOEMTHNG RN BITCH
K that's it. Just thought you should know what he's thinking. ANYWAYS
Ariana is running away from Justin. Suddenly she trips.
JUSTIN: K Ari... there's no where to hide... Now let me fuck you up
ARIANA: bitch no i have standards
SORRY FOR THOSE WHO SHIP JARIANA I LOWKEY DO TOO. kinda.
ARIANA: FUCK YOU BITCH
Ariana grabs a log and kicks Justin's head with it. He's kinda hurt by it.
ARIANA: Huh? How did you not die?
JUSTIN: I was created in a Canadian laboratory to test dumb kids so my brain was surgically resized to the size of a pea.
ARIANA: literally what
JUSTIN: OK ARI, SO YOU WANNA FIGHT FAIR
JUSTIN: lets do it
JUSTIN: LETS
JUSTIN: SING OFF
ARIANA: HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMFG BITCH PLEASE
JUSTIN: Youd be surprised with my vocal ski--
ARIANA: HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYOU SERIOUSLY DID NOT JUST SAY THAT MAUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ariana starts singing the chorus to Leave Me Lonely, and Justin is SHOOKETH.
JUSTIN: im
ARIANA: SHOOKETH IK
JUSTIN: f-fine...
Justin starts singing Despacito, but he can't remember the lyrics.
ARIANA: WELL I THINK THAT SETTLES IT
Justin loses HP as Ariana runs the fuck away.
Meanwhile, Chanel #5 and Taylor are working together.
CHANEL #5: yes we should be the new taytay clique or whatever
TAYLOR: fuck no ur just here bc selena has multiplied in four and now shes in love with her teacher self
CHANEL #5: same
TAYLOR: So... I heard ur boyfriends always get killed off
CHANEL #5: idek why that happens i mean
TAYLOR: no ur not hot dont even try
Suddenly they start being chased by some other group: Nightwing, Jake Paul, Chanel and Cinderella. The two run away and gtfo. The group loses them.
NIGHTWING: FUCK
CHANEL: stop bitching its making my prada ears hurt
CINDERELLA: Guys Im sure if we have courage and be kind--
CHANEL: DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SHIT
JAKE PAUL: HEHEEHEHEHEEHEHEEHE I LOVE GETTING MY EXERCISE EXCEPT NOT IM A LAZY FUCK
NIGHTWING: IF YOU HADNT DISTRACTED US WE WOULD HAVE KILLED THOSE TWO BITCHES
JAKE PAUL: sorry dick
DICK GRAYSON/NIGHTWING: are u serious rn
JAKE PAUL: Its not my fault you dont have that *dabs* SWAG
CHANEL: this is fucking cancerous
CHANEL: ELLA GO GRAB ME SOME FUCKING BLEACH
CINDERELLA: O-Ok...
CHANEL: I WASNT BEING LITERAL YOU IDIOT
CINDERELLA: Oh. That does make more sense, I haven't seen any bleach bottles around.
NIGHTWING: CAN U STFU NOW WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEY WENT AND ITS ALL BC OF YOU DISASTERS
???: I can help you find her
Someone steps out of the shadows. It's Kyoko Kirigiri.
NIGHTWING: gr8 lets go hunt bitches
KYOKO: No, hoe. Now I do the talking.
NIGHTWING: BUT IM BATMAN'S SO--
KYOKO: No. You are just an adopted piece of ludicrous shit. Fuck. You.
NIGHTWING: I-I...
KYOKO: gr8 lets go hunt bitches
While this group was getting formed, Chanel #5 and Taylor were still running away.
CHANEL #5: IM SURE WE ALREADY LOST THEM
HESTER: but you didnt lose us
Hester, Nikki Grahame and Will Smith are all chasing Chanel #5 and Taylor.
TAYLOR: FUCK UM
NIKKI: Everyone just loves meh. I think it's because I'm just so special. I really am special.
HESTER: Umm
WILL SMITH: IM THE GENIE IN ALADDIN
HESTER: LETS GET THEM
Chanel #5 and Taylor run as quick as possible away from them and end up losing them.
WILL SMITH: WELP. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME
HESTER: better... luck... next... time?
NIKKI: SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU. NOW IM GETTING REALLY ANGRY! FOUR.
HESTER: four? FOUR WHAT?
NIKKI: FOUR BOWLS OF CORN FLAKES. WHO IS SHE?!?!
Nikki gets enraged. From afar, Byakuya Togami is watching, as he prepares his wooden spear.
BYAKUYA: THERE. The esteemed Byakuya Togami has just finished his esteemed wooden spear.
Cara Deleofnvrenfer leaves her camp, looking for supplies. As soon as she's gone, Kelly, Chanel #3, Demi and Harley Quinn raid Cara's camp.
ALL: MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH.
HARLEY: omg feels really good to do something bad for a change
KELLY CLARKSON: arent u like a supervillain tho
HARLEY: everyone loves me tho so Im now an anti hero. Everyone who keeps saying Im overrated... Well just wait until I SHOW UP IN JUSTICE LEAGUE AND BECOME AN OFFICIAL MEMBER, BITCH!
DEMI: same
KELLY: btw demi werent you in an alliance? I saw you running around with a child and some neckbeard
DEMI: idfc
CHANEL #3: type 123 to be lesbian lovers
DEMI: 123
Chanel #3 and Demi fuck. Meanwhile, Superman tries to spear fish with a trident. And he cooks them by shooting them with his lasers. His peaceful world tho gets interrupted by a bunch of screams. He don't care tho so he keeps cooking. These screams however, are by Amy Schumer.
AMY SCHUMER: AAAAAAAAA GET THE FUCK OFF ME
BALA TOE: DYSLEXIA DYSLEXIA DYSLEXIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AMY SCHUMER: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Amy Schumer runs away, but she sprinkles her ankle. But, she loses Blalaalaoeoiw Game of Thornes anyway.
In Moana's camp...
Moana comes across a hatchet, given to her by an unknown sponsor.
MOANA: oh yes. OH YES. OH FUCKING YES! WHO ELSE IS WET IN HERE?!
OCEAN: me nigga
Moana and the Ocean clap.
Wonder Woman, The Flash and NO AKA Meghan Trainor are all hunting for tributes.
FLASH: fuck we didnt find anything
WONDER WOMAN: with love's power anything is possible
NO: umm no, bc men are fucking douches even if theyre the sweetest bitches ever
FLASH: are you one of those feminists who are just smelly and stupid bc they think men get away with it when they really dont
NO: YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND YOU CIS WHITE MALE
FLASH: BUT IM GAY
NO: oh... im so terribly sorry.
FLASH: JK
NO: OMG... OMG WHAT DID YOU JUST DO
FLASH: Just proved a point, thats all
NO: NO, YOU JUST RAPED ME
FLASH: WHAT
NO: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TO THE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TO THE FUCK NUH UH
NO runs away.
WONDER WOMAN: same
The day was almost over. Soon, the first night would begin.
8 cannon shots can be heard in the distance:
* Batgirl - District 8
* Paul Abrahamian - District 11
* Sakura Ogami - District 7
* Shawn Mendes - District 4
* Kiyotaka Ishimaru - District 1
* Ariel - District 9
* Snow White - District 3
* Jasmine - District 9
=== NIGHT 1 ===
BATMAN: I'm gonna be the best Batman Batman ever was... And how you may ask?
Batman is monologuing to himself.
BATMAN: just you wait
Batman sets up camp for the night.
BATMAN: k im done bye
Meanwhile...
Catwoman is returning to her shelter, but suddenly Kelly Clarkson comes out of nowhere and throws Selina to the ground. Selina tries to escape, but Kelly grabs Selina's tit and shows her the Catwoman 2004 Blu-Ray, making Selina's body to bleed.
SELINA: P-Please... S-Spa-pare this meow wow...
KELLY: fine
SELINA: WAIT WTF WHY DID YOU DO THIS IF YOU WERENT GONNA KILL ME
KELLY: i dunno
Meanwhile, Cinderella is sleeping.
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Just thought you should know that.
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BC Brantsteele told me.
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OK, anyways
The esteemed legs of Byakuya Togami are walking around with his esteemed wooden spear that was made by the esteemed hands of the esteemed Byakuya Togami. Suddenly, he notices a crazy "pleb" bitch running around. Byakuya chases her and grabs her by the pussy, ready to attack her. It is revealed to be Taylor Swift.
TAYLOR: fuck fuck fuckity fuck
BYAKUYA: i cant believe my esteemed hands of Byakuya Togami grabbed your peasant pussy of Swish Swish Bish
TAYLOR: oh... so ur that japanese prick whose entire family died right
BYAKUYA: bitch stfu... if naegi was here, id ask him to tell you what im around to do to u right now
BYAKUYA: REJOICE COMMUNER... katy perry could only dream of slaying you this much as i will
TAYLOR: W-Why? Why are you such a fucking dumbass?
BYAKUYA: 1 - bc, 2 - thats rich coming from you, 3 - this game is just so exciting... life or death, its just so... interesting
TAYLOR: ew is that a boner
BYAKUYA: TAKE YOUR PLEB EYES OUT OF MY BIG COCK
TAYLOR: its obviously average wtf
BYAKUYA: what
TAYLOR: HEY LOOK MURDER MYSTERY PORN
BYAKUYA: yass final--
Taylor grabs a molotov she was carrying with her and sets Byakuya on fire.
BYAKUYA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA GET THIS COMMON FIRE OFF ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
TAYLOR: you do know im rich tho, right?
BYAKUYA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
TAYLOR: rip
Taylor takes off her heart, finds a blank space and writes Togami's name on it.
TAYLOR: that should do it
Taylor swallows her heart and it comes back to her chest. Yeah, we don't know how that happened either. Sorry.
Meanwhile, after Nightwing's alliance is asleep, Kyoko wakes up. She prepares to get off her PLL mask, but she's interrupted by Jake Paul.
JAKE PAUL: snuggle with me
KYOKO: tf why
JAKE PAUL: swear u wont tell my besties?
KYOKO: unless i have to sacrify it in the half of figuring out a mystery in this arena sure ill keep ur secret
JAKE PAUL: I still sleep with my mommy
KYOKO: arent you like
JAKE PAUL: what
KYOKO: 20 years old or something
JAKE PAUL: i mean since i was... years old it always keeps changing and im never able to keep up with it
KYOKO: if I could feel anything Id be crying for humanity rn
KYOKO: So whats in it for me?
JAKE PAUL: ik its you
Jake whispers a name in Kyoko's ear, leaving Kyoko shooketh.
KYOKO: I... I... but I... How tf did you figure that out you're beyond retarded?
JAKE PAUL: a little birdie told me
KYOKO: WHO?
JAKE PAUL: i said a tiny bird told me
KYOKO: huh?
JAKE PAUL: yeah, a bird came up to me and left me a letter revealing that youre--
KYOKO: how did that even
Jake Paul dabs.
KYOKO: same
JAKE PAUL: SO SNUGGLE WITH ME
KYOKO: ok fine
Kyoko snuggles with Jake Paul, but to the heat in her face, she takes off her mask, revealing...
BITCH I AINT GON TELL YOU THAT HAHAHA YOU JUST HAVE TO READ
Anyways, after Ed throwed Snow White's body to the water to try and revive her, he's now setting up the camp for this night. Let's check that out, shall we?
ED: Hmm... this whole setting up camp alone thing is really giving me inspiration to write a shitty dull pop hit that will somehow stay #1 in the charts for fucking 10 or 11 weeks
DEMI: hey bitch
Ed turns around, noticing Demi, who has just returned.
ED: I thought you left
DEMI: I did... I just wanted to see how everything's holding up
ED: im thinking of writing a new song, and now that ur here maybe we could do it a du--
DEMI: bye bitch
Without any hint of emotion in her face, Demi lays down and starts gazing at the stars.
ED: ok
Meanwhile, Will Smith receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.
WILL SMITH: oh fuck yes
Suddenly Will Smith listens to the chilling sound of the worst ship in the world. Two people come out: they are Lena Dunham and Blela Throne.
LENA DUNHAM: I... i'm surprisingly enjoying this
BLELA THRONE: MAI TUW
LENA DUNHAM: LETS GET MARRIED AND HAVE SIX KIDS WE CAN RAPE TOGETHER
BLELA THRONE: me gusta homie
Will internally screams.
LENA DUNHAM: Come on, I wanna show you my dildos I have because I aint letting any of those cis white male dicks touch me, I'm way too up their level to be fucked by them
BLELA THRONE: HAHAHAHAH bushes plox
LENA DUNHAM: god its like you understand me
BLELA THRONE: nuuu
LENA DUNHAM: LETS GET OUT OF HERE
Lena and Blela ran away, holding hands. As they run away, they spot Ariana Grande and Superman holding hands.
ARIANA: fuck I just lost all my appetite
SUPERMAN: dont worry bby... this dude can get you wanting a lot of food
ARIANA: ew
BTW Nightwing lost sight of where he was.
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Just thought you should know that.
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BC Brantsteele told me.
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OK, anyways
Makoto and Katy are talking.
MAKOTO: So, umm, what's with the hair?
KATY: idk i got possessed by the illuminati and they told me to fuck myself up
KATY: so um have u got a girlfriend or something
MAKOTO: THATS WRONG
KATY: figures
KATY: So you still havent find your 1+1=fuckity fuck fuck
MAKOTO: nooo... but im still hopeful, ya know
KATY: speaking of math, is math related to science?
MAKOTO: what has my life come to
Meanwhile, Amy Schumer is thinking of jokes she can steal from, when suddenly she sees a red light grabbing her supplies and running away. That light is the Flash.
FLASH: now im sure im going to heaven
AMY SCHUMER: YOUR ACTIONS ARE AS DIRTY AS MY VAGINA GET IT BC IM A SLUT
A paid group of people start laughing at Amy Schumer's "joke".
== PLACEMENTS AKA WHO THE FUCK WON THIS SHIT AND WHO THE FUCK LOST ==
* 48th Place: Batgirl - throat slashed by Aurora
* 47th/46th Place: Paul Abrahamian/Sakura Ogami - killed by Nightwing
* 45th/44th Place: Shawn Mendes/Kiyotaka Ishimaru - killed by the "esteemed" Byakuya Togami 
* 43rd Place: Ariel - suicide 
* 42nd Place: Snow White - died of thirst 
* 41st Place: Jasmine - poisoned (by Aurora, even tho this dumb bitch was the one who poisoned Aurora's drink that was supposed to poison Aurora but Aurora switched the drinks so this bitch died) 
* 40th Place: Byakuya Togami - set on fire with a molotov by Swish Swish Bish
Category:Brantsteele Tales