So You Want to RP at the Cathedral of Light

Page creator's warning! This article contains swearing, indirect personal attacks, accusations, partial elitism, and rage. Also, this is an ever-increasing work in progress.
Or, "An Open Letter to Dipshits, Death Knights, Dufuses, Dorks, and Dumbasses: The Cathedral isn't Fight Club"
:By Devinicus
Required reading: Taking Back Evil: A Guide
== Let's Be Honest ==
The Cathedral's turned into a massive pile of shit, there's not a lot of denying that. Personally, I blame death knights, and I'll tell you why. Death knights are inherently fucking awful for the vast majority of the roleplaying population, you are no exception to this rule of likelihood; you probably have a leg up in being a non-tard because you're reading this, but I wouldn't call it a free pass. Let's face it, Klous has (had, THANK YOU, GOD) a flag here, this wiki does attract people who are less than "winners".
Now why, you may have rattling around in that pathetic nugget of fat you call a brain, are death knights such natural atrocities to all things logic and roleplay? Aren't you just being your usual, impossibly judgemental self, Dev? Here's the thing, a person who would go through the experiences of a death knight would likely a complex, troubled, yet exceptionally motivated individual. I am by no means saying that every knight would be the same, I am saying, however, that the complexities these characters would possess are beyond the ability of most roleplayers to portray.
Why? Let's face it, the "skill" of roleplaying is built upon the skill of writing, what do most people the age of the average World of Warcraft player have to draw upon as inspiration? Well, ask yourself what the two most popular current literary "works" of that generations time are and you'll likely have your answer. If you thought Harry Potter and Twilight, you're on the same track I am. Both of these series present one-dimensional characters in very one-dimensional environments undergoing very one-dimensional events, one of them is portrayed with some technical ability, the other isn't (I'll let you guess which is which).
There's no reason to expect the average schlub roleplayer to have any comprehension of how to portray complexity, much less more advanced concepts that actually mitigate the inherent power over others that a death knight has (particularly Hamartia. In effect, you have this colossal influx of inherently complex, difficult-to-portray characters being played by, well, people who are either ignorant or wholly stupid (you know who they are). This is why the death knight is the bane of roleplay right now.
== Other Forms of Fail ==
Below is a brief, annotated list of easy ways to fuck up horribly. Some are guaranteed fail, others are all but guaranteed in almost every circumstance. I'll leave the reader to sort out the flock. Some of these work away from the Cathedral, and if it seems that they do, then they're just something that should be inspected for "appropriateness" in Cathedral-central roleplay.
*People under the affect of growth elixirs, spells, and effects
Perhaps not guaranteed for instant failure, but vastly overused, and largely used only by the powergaming godmoder type whose character has a power level over nine-thousand and eagerly seeks any opportunity what so ever to pick a fight, especially an unfair one. I'm sorry, your character is not a thirteen-foot-tall draenei with the power of four gods hepped up on meth. That's not how that works.
*"Feral" Elves
*Anyone looking to pick a fight
Come on, it's a Cathedral, take it elsewhere and assume that, yes, your bullshit shenanigans will be met with the reaction of a guard.
*Shirtless
Again, Cathedral. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
*Elves
Converts are fine, but not everyone and their dog is an elf who follows the teachings of the Light and its scholars.
*Death knights in armour.
Traipsing about like you own the place when the place you're traipsing about is a holy place crawling with people to whom you should eagerly cow to is not something that is either wise or acknowledgeable. If your character is one of those types who does nothing but picks fights, insults people, and generally acts like a complete shit, consider going somewhere that isn't the Cathedral of Light for roleplay.
*Criminals, especially wanted ones.
Oh come the fuck on.
*Draenei with a last name that isn't a sobriquet.
Not necessarily "wrong", but it's very rare in the culture. Just as some things are popular for a reason, some things are rare for a reason.
*Lore stupidity.
Note that I used the word "stupidity". There is a difference between stupidity and ignorance. While the difference is oft-forgotten in day to day conversation, it is a crucial one. There is nothing wrong with ignorance, if you're not ignorant, you're stupid, because everyone has things about which they are uninformed. Stupidity is not knowing and not caring. You (and the same is true for me) do not know everything about the lore, you just don't. Honestly, if you know everything about the lore, you're either a basement-dweller or some kind of all-knowledge-absorbing savant (spoilers: you aren't). If you're the first, whatever, fine. If you're the second... Why are you wasting your time with this game? Go cure cancer. As a member of a community, and as someone doing things in a public forum, you need to understand and accept that maybe, just maybe, your character, who was Arthas' BFF, might be a little lore-stretchy. Don't be stupid.
== Should my character even be near the Cathedral of Light? ==
Well sure, why not? I mean, it's a public place, people tend to congregate, and really, there's nothing "wrong" with people not of a certain faith visiting public areas around more faith-ey areas. Honestly, I'm a secular Jew (and a shitty one at that) and I hang out with Catholics and go to their events, does that make me a bad guy? No. I'm a bad person for other reasons, reasons that are probably becoming increasingly evident in this ever-lengthening wiki page.
All the same, consider the following bullets (because nobody doesn't love bullet points) as a "checklist" of sorts for whether or not your character should be hanging out at the Cathedral. It's not an absolute guide, obviously, just consider it helpful advice! The more of these things that will prove true should your character go off to the Cathedral, the more wary you might want to be of hanging out in such a locale, in an IC sense.
*My character is going to go pick a fight.
Again, it's a public area, there are guards, priests, and by God, there are paladins. They have giant hammers and an omnipotent holy presence on their side.
*My character is going to take part in evil shenanigans.
Unless your character is just going to be just super-duper-ultra-mega-retardedly subtle about being evil, why, oh why, would they go sauntering around a place crawling with guards, priests, and paladins to be evil? Your character isn't a god, they can and will get the shit kicked out of them for doing hinky, evil shit. If they don't? It's a sign you might be a godmoding jackass (not a guarantee).
*My character is a death knight, half-demon, horrible half-breed, dragon, or Man'ari eredar (DUR HUR HURRRRR) with a chip on his/her shoulder.
Again, see the previous two points. Also, your character should probably none of those things with the possible exception of a death knight.
*My character is a whore/skank.
Unless they're going off to repent, I'd advise against it... Though I don't know, it could wind up being funny!
*My character is a dragon.
Your character should never be a dragon.
*My character is a feral elf.
No.
*My character is a demon in disguise.
I don't care what the excuse, the priests and paladins absolutely coating the area can sense that. It's a "Light thing" and one of those "Light things" that makes the Light sound like the Force, but they can sense that. Unless your character can emit the exact kind of sensation that all non-demonic living beings emit, Light-wise, a sensation that your character has never felt (at least not without writhing in unspeakable pain and torment), those holy types around the Cathedral going to get their rage faces on and crush your character into a thick slurry. Though there have been examples of demonic entities fooling light wielders before (RE: Scarlet Crusade), so there is a percident; still, avoid it if at all possible.
*My character is a current member of the Scarlet Crusade.
We're gonna have a little chat about that...
== The Scarlet Crusade: Wannabes, Never-Will-Bes, and Never-Weres ==
... Right now. See? I keep my promises.
In all fairness, there has been a lot, and I mean a lot, of in-depth, overthought, and far-too-serious discussion about the current state of the Scarlet Crusade. Now, it can be fairly easily posited that the Crusade has largely been eviscerated. Given the goings-on with Wrath of the Lich King, the pillar (or at least one of the major pillars) of the Crusade's holdings on the Eastern Kingdoms has been ripped to bits by the whole Acherus "thing". Plus, the reformed Scarlet Onslaught has pulled much of its military power away from the Kingdoms to Northrend, while the two organisations are arguably one and the same (though maybe not). Why aren't the in-game regions any different? Game mechanics, that's about it.
Let's also not forget that the Crusade isn't some misunderstood band of ardent soldiers. They're a group of hold-ups, broken off from the Silver Hand, who've turned into ultra-territorial sociopaths who kill anyone and everyone who enters their territory without wearing their colours. That's what excessive zealotry does to you, and it's a bitch. No, I don't care what you're about to say. They're the bad guys. Does that mean your character can't be a former soldier of the Crusade who, instead of just joining the Argent Dawn, defected and became a lone crusader against the betrayals against the Light that have consumed the Scarlet Crusade? Not at all, obviously! It is, however, quite silly to fathom that the Church of Light (not the Cathedral, the body of faith and its leaders) and the Kingdom of Stormwind in general would allow a contingent of fully-fledged soldiers to roam about the Stormwind, much less enforcing the city's laws as they see fit. At the very least it would be a gross violation of Stormwind's sovereignty, having a group of foreign soldiers enacting their own perception of the law.
What about splinter groups of the Scarlet Crusade? Well, the Scarlet March did that for a while, and they did it quite well, believe it or not. There's nothing too difficult to imagine about a group of soldiers coming to Stormwind and its nobles and saying, "Our leaders have failed us, we can't take back the lands of which we've been thrown from dominion, our only chance for survival is to serve alongside your kingdom's army." Given the Alliance's nature, it's a reasonable possibility for a small portion of an independent, foreign human army to join the overall power structure of the Alliance. It is not a reasonable possibility for any nation of the Alliance (Stormwind being the strongest and most prominent of the human kingdoms) to allow a small portion of an independent, foreign human army to enter their lands and serve as a "thug division" of the guard.
In that same stroke, it is pure and complete silliness that Stormwind would so much as feign tolerance at this independent, foreign army hassling people in a public place, much less a public place of worship. The March has gotten better about this, really, so I'm not going to point fingers, but there are other "Scarlet" roleplayers, and they do commit this faux pas, you know who they are.
=="Oh hey look, an Orphanage!"==
If the original creator would not mind my little section, I have this to say:
All of this guide ALSO pertains to the Cathedral Square. Sure, it's doesn't contains the vast amounts of holy power in the Cathedral, but it is still heavy with paladins and guards. A lot of you RPers LOVE hanging out in this square, and for you fuckheads out there who love starting shit in the square, I'm not sure or not if you've heard, but there is a fucking Orphanage in the square, that is full of orphanded children who lost their parents in wars and fights. THINK. The orphans love hanging around the square, and sometimes go into the Cathedral. They lost their parents due to violence, and some of them were RIGHT THERE when it happened. Some of them will have nightmares about it, and they are sad that they lost their parents. There are damned orphaned children who will be watching your fights, and do you really think watching fights will be healthy for them? NO. Ask yourself: "Huh, if I was a child who lost their parents in a war, and I saw a fight about fifteen feet away from me, how would I feel?" You'd feel fucking SCARED. And you'd want it to stop, and you'd feel fearful because in your mind you might think that those bad people are coming to get you next. But a lot of you still fucking do it, not giving a fuck if children watch. These children are our god damned future, and do you want the lot of them to be cowards and scared of fighting in the future, even though we might be in some horrible as fuck war? No, you do not. For then if our enemies won, they would erase our history and destory all of us. Simply because you felt like starting a fight in the Cathedral Square. And here's another thought, how would YOU like it if your parents died, and people didn;t think about your loss and your health, and did shit that would hurt you emotionally? I might be exagerating this shit, but you dipshits need to get it through your skulls: 'There's fucking children who will be watching your fail fights.' -Greag/Valcore.﻿
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Category:Guides