Annoying Orange: Mystery of the Mustachios/Transcript

Orange: Hey! Hey, over here! Hey, bagface! Hey, hey bagface, hey! Hey, bagface! It looks like you had a little plastic surgery. (laughing)
(Daneboe takes the bag away)
Orange: Uh. Thanks for the hand, buddy. Geez. Whoa! Hey, hey Pistachios, hey!
Leader Mustachio: Dude, he's talking to us.
Semi-Far Right Mustachio: What do you want to do?
Middle Mustachio: don't say anything.
Sombrero Mustachio: Is this look all right? It feels lopsided.
Mustachio 1: It's so itchy!
Orange: Hey, Pistachios! Hey! Pistachios! Hey, over here!
Mustachio 5: It's not pistachio, okay?
Orange: Then what are you?
(Mustachios turned around to face Orange)
Mustachio 5: It's Mustachio.
Orange: (screaming)
(title card)
Mustachio 4: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it down, buddy! Everything's cool.
Orange: There's a caterpillar on your lip! And it's got friends!
Mustachio 3: These aren't caterpillars, dude. They're mustaches.
Orange: Uh-uh! Those are caterpillars! Pistachio-eating caterpillars!
Mustachio 1: Dude, that's not even a real thing.
Orange: Uh-huh! Ask Pear!
Pear: Did someone say pistachio-eating caterpillars?
Orange and Pear: (screaming)
Mustachio 2: I told you we should have gone somebreos.
Mustachio 3: I know, I know.
Orange: You pistachios are goners.
Mustachio 5: Look, for the last time, we're not pistachios!
Mustachio 3: Yeah. Pistachios are like, delicious.
Mustachio 2: Exactly.
Mustachio 4: And we're not.
Mustachio 1: Nope.
Mustachio 5: That's right. Cause we're Mustachios.
Mustachio 1: And that's totally a different thing.
Mustachios: (talking)
Orange: Yeah, whatever. Clearly, you guys are nuts. (laughing)
Mustachio 1: Hey, hey, hey. Look buddy, if we were tasty pistachios are flavoured would have given us away.
Pear: Guys! It's okay! We're not gonna eat you.
Mustachio 1: Of course not. Cause we're not pistachios.
Pear: Oh, come on. The shells, the green center, the giant freaking bag that said pistachios on it?
Mustachio 1: (sniffs) Boy It's getting hot in here. (sniffs) Kinda getting the sniffles here.
Mustachio 4: Shut up, Barry.
Orange: You be a lot cooler if you want wern't wering a lip warmer. (laughing) Oh! I know! Let me give you a fuzz buster. (laughing)
Mustachios: (sighs)
Orange: I get the feeling that the answer to this mystery is right under your nose! (laughing)
Pear: Um, Orange, they don't have noses.
Orange: You're an Apple!
Mustachio 5: Yep, and we're Mustachios! End of story. You guys have a great day, we gotta get going now!
Mustachio 1: (sniffs, then sneezes, causing his mustache to come lose)
Other Mustachios: (Gasp)
Mustachio 1: Whoo, it's okay guys. It's just allergies. (His mustache comes off)
Mustachio 4: Ahh, Barry!
Mustachio 1: What? What is it?
Orange: Whoa! Talk about a close shave! (laughing)
Mustachio 3: Are you trying to get us killed?
Mustachio 5: How hard is it to wear a mustache?
Mustachio 1: Glue it back on! Glue it back on! Somebody!
Mustachio 2: See, I told we should've gone with somebreros.
Mustachio 1: (screams as Daneboe picks him up and opens him)
Other Mustachios: (Screaming)
Mustachio 1: Oh my god, I'm naked! I'm naked!
Orange: Whoa!
Pear: Ugh, I can't look!
Mustachio 1: Stop looking at me!
(Daneboe takes away Mustachio 1)
(All other Mustachios except Mustachio 5 have their mustaches come off and get eaten)
Orange: Whoa! Poor Pistachios! They're getting shellacked! (laughing) Oh! Ow!
Mustachio 5: Uh! Oh jeez Barry, we should've left you in the bag.
Pear: Man, sorry about your friends little dude.
Orange: Yeah, those guys really cracked me up! (laughing)
Mustachio 5: Yeah, well, I guess that's just the price for being so darn wonderful. Everyone wants a piece. There's danger lurking everywhere. One minute, everything's cool, and then there's a giant hand reaching out to crush you. Who knows? Next time it could be a... a...
Orange: A Pistachio-eating caterpillar?
Mustachio 5: He he, Yeah good one Orange.
Orange: That wasn't a joke!
Pear: (gasps) Pistachio-eating caterpillar!
Mustachio 5: Huh? Ugh. Agh. No! (then screams at Caterpillar comes close and eats him)
Caterpillar: (coughs about 3 times) Ugh! I hate it when those guys don't shave! (then continues coughing)
Category:Shorts
Category:Season 2
Category:Transcript pages
Category:Episodes