Time Machine (Dunces and Dragons)

"Time Machine" is the first episode of Dunces and Dragons.
==Synopsis==
Sandy builds a time machine that accidentally sends SpongeBob and Patrick back to medieval times.	Sandy builds a time machine that accidentally sends SpongeBob and Patrick back to medieval times.	Sandy builds a time machine that accidentally sends SpongeBob and Patrick back to medieval times.	Sandy builds a time machine that accidentally sends SpongeBob and Patrick back to medieval times.
==Transcript==
*[scene: SpongeBob and Patrick are walking out of their houses with sweaters on]
*SpongeBob: So let’s begin [gets out a list] hmm… Oh! Blowing bubbles upside down!
*Patrick: [excited] Oh boy, my favourite! [Squidward peeks his head out the window]
*Squidward: Why are you guys playing with bubbles in the winter? Bubbles are for summer! [leaves his house and goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick]
*SpongeBob: Because we already finished our Winter list! [gets out his winter list and shows it to Squidward]
*Squidward: [reading the list] 1st December buy Christmas tree, 2nd December put Christmas tree up, 3rd December watch Christmas movies all night, 4th December watch more Christmas movies all night and wait for Christmas…
*SpongeBob: So until Christmas we are using our Summer list! [mobile phone starts ringing] It’s Sandy! [answers] Hey Sandy!
*Sandy: Hey SpongeBob, I just finished building this Time Machine and I was wondering if you and Patrick could try it out for me!
*SpongeBob: Sure! I would love to see what happens in the future.
*Sandy: Actually it only lets you go back in time at the moment. Also here is a warning, if you get stuck in a certain period of time you may not be able to come back!
*SpongeBob: Okay Sandy, cya’ at the treedome! 
*[scene: SpongeBob and Patrick are at the treedome]
*SpongeBob: So where’s the time machine? [Sandy throws out a sheet revealing the time machine] Wow!
*Patrick: Hey SpongeBob I got you an ice [drops the ice cream] wow!
*Sandy: Now I need you to sign this contract! [gives SpongeBob and Patrick a contract and they sign it]
*SpongeBob: Thanks Sandy! 
*Sandy: So I think you’re ready to test the time machine. Oh wait, you have to take your clothes off.
*SpongeBob: WHAT?! No I am not. [Patrick takes his clothes off] Okay I guess I have to now! [SpongeBob takes his clothes off] Okay Sandy I guess we are ready now! [screams because Sandy put some goggles on]
*Sandy: Okay, now enter the time machine, if you enter a time period where clothes have been made the machine will automatically create clothes for that time period!
*[SpongeBob and Patrick enter the time machine]
*[scene: SpongeBob and Patrick are in the time machine]
*SpongeBob: Woah this is some kinda time machine, wouldn’t you agree Patrick?
*Patrick: Yes.
*Time Machine: 3… 2… 1… To medieval times! In an hour! But first let me get you some medieval clothes and a medieval language dictionary! [SpongeBob and Patrick are given some clothes and a medieval dictionary] Now wait!
*SpongeBob: One hour! Who’s in charge here? We should learn the Medieval culture though. Wait hang on. [SpongeBob reads the book] Alloweth's readeth this booketh. [Patrick looks at him confused] Maybe we should go to a medieval kindergarten or something. [59 minutes later] Too late I read the whole thing.
*Time Machine: Okay I hope you read the whole thing through as we are about to enter medieval times!
*Patrick: Yay!
*Time Machine: 3… 2 [starts glitching] WARNING! WARNING! You’re gonna be stuck in medieval times for the rest of your life.
*[scene: SpongeBob and Patrick are in medieval times]
*Sir Patrick: Cool..! We’re back in the past! I need to change my FishBook Status to say so. [pulls a phone out of his back and tries to go online] N-N-No…
*Sir SpongeBob: What is it?
*Sir Patrick: There is no wifi!
*Sir SpongeBob: Patrick you betta put your phone away before anyone sees it-
*Squidly: Hello.
*Sir SpongeBob: [swallows the phone] Hey Squidly!
*Squidly: Hey thee hath returned!
*Sir Patrick: Shakesp- 
*Sir SpongeBob: [laughing] Good one Sir Patrick! [Sir Patrick and Squidly start laughing]
*Sir Patrick: I don't get it. 
*Squidly: Thee knoweth, tonight is the big feast thee can cometh if thee wanteth.
*[Sir Natson comes over]
*Sir Natson: Squidly, King Krabs has asked me to... Who art thee?
*Squidly: Oh, Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick this is Sir Natson the king’s new assistant.
*Sir Natson: Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick. [shocked] The legendary prophecy!
*Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick: Yes.
*Sir Natson: Cool! Oh Squidly, thee will need to perform at the feast tonight!
*Squidly: [nods] Absolutely. [plays clarinet]
*Sir Natson: [stops Squidly] Maybe you should wait for everyone at the feast to hear it.
*Squidly: Suit thineselves. Thou does not knowest what thou art missing.
*[Scene: Sir SpongeBob, Sir Patrick, Squidly and Sir Natson are on their way to King Krabs’ Castle]
*Sir SpongeBob: Oh no! Gary must be starving in the future!
*[Scene: Gary is sitting down on a chair watching TV with a bunch of food around him]
*Fish: [On TV] Susan, I’m not a lawyer. I’m actually, a clown working for the Circus! [Laugh Track]
*Gary: [Laughs]
*[Scene: Sir SpongeBob, Sir Patrick, Squidly and Sir Natson are on their way to King Krabs’ Castle]
*Sir SpongeBob: Oh, the horror he must be going through!
*Sir Patrick: What about Rocky! I forgot to feed him today!
*[Scene: Rocky is on Patrick's chair doing nothing]
*[Scene: Sir SpongeBob, Sir Patrick, Squidly and Sir Natson are on their way to King Krabs’ Castle]
*Sir Patrick: The horror! The horror!
*Sir Natson: Okay, we're here. [opens the door to the castle and everyone walks in]
*[Scene: King Krabs is talking to a chef]
*King Krabs: So art we cleareth on the meals we art having at the feast?
*Chef: I bethink so.
*King Krabs: If thee get this wrong, thee will be fired.
*Chef: Worry not, I hath got this.
*King Krabs: Valorous.
*[Sir Natson enters]
*Sir Natson: King Krabs, I have some news. Remember Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick, the legendary prophecy?
*King Krabs: Yes.
*Sir Natson: Well… [Sir SpongeBob, Sir Patrick and Squidly enter]
*King Krabs: Thou art back?
*Sir SpongeBob: Yes we are.
*King Krabs: For how longeth?
*Sir SpongeBob: Forever, I guesseth
*King Krabs: Oh and Squidly, art thee playing at the big feast?!
*Squidly: [proudly] Of course. Doth thee wanteth to heareth it?
*King Krabs: No.
*Squidly: [crying] Why?
*King Krabs: Well I don’t want to hear it before the feast!
*Squidly: [mumbling to himself] Everyone beeth the critic.
*King Krabs: [whispering to Sir SpongeBob] That gent doest yond a lot.
*Sir SpongeBob: So since we art backeth, can we receiveth separateth cubiculos at the castle?
*King Krabs: Well we doth has't two spareth cubiculos. Sure, wherefore not?
*Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick: [excited] Woo hoo!
*Sir Natson: So the big feast is soon, shall I get the tables ready?
*King Krabs: Sure.
*Sir SpongeBob: So what art we having at the big feast?
*King Krabs: Well we were going to have something else, but since you’re here we will have those Krabby Patties you showed us last time!
*Sir SpongeBob: Okay.
*King Krabs: Sir Natson, receiveth the chef so we can bid that gent the updateth.
*Sir Natson: Yes, King Krabs.
*[Scene: The Feast]
*King Krabs: Ladies and gents, tonight we art having the big feast! Tonight’s main course, Krabby Patties, to bray out the returneth of Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick, the legendary prophecy! [everyone cheers in excitement]
*King Krabs: And now the entertainment! [everyone claps]
*Squidly: Now tonight, my performance shall guest star Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick! [Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick run to the stage with Squidly] ♪Oh hear me Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick for I must sing, how you are the greatest at everything. Like saving the city, from a dragon. Thou both did that. Thou both did that, because thou art the legendary prophecy! [Squidly starts dancing] La la la la la la la la la la la!♪
*Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick: ♪We are the legendary prophecy! We saved the city, from a dragon! We are the legendary prophecy! We saved the city, from a dragon! La la la la la la la la la la la!♪
*Squidly: ♪Oh hear me king for I must sing, how you are also the greatest at everything. Like pardoning Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick from a very gruesome death! Thou did that! Thou did that! Because you are our king!♪
*Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick: ♪The king’s the best! The king’s the best! The king’s the best at everything! Like pardoning us from a very gruesome death!♪
*Squidly, Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick:♪La la la la la la la la la la la! La la la la la la la la la la la! La la la la la la la la la la la! The king is the best!♪
*[everyone starts clapping and cheering]
*Sir SpongeBob: Squidly, we did it!
*Squidly: Well what can I sayeth?
*King Krabs: Squidly, yond is probably the most wondrous performance you have ever done!
*Squidly: Well thanketh thee, King Krabs. But I couldn’t have done it without Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick!
*Sir SpongeBob: Well what can I sayeth?
*[The end]
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