The Anything Movie: A Recipe for A Camping Disaster/Transcript

(opening logos)
(The movie starts with Spongebob in a bed with a lot of other characters.)
Spongebob: (yawn) Just look at the sunrise, it's so beautiful... Oh! I forgot we're going on a vacation with the Bears today!
Nitebear: Mew? (Bears?)
Kirby: Pooooyooo...
(The Jellien wakes up, doing a gesture like a yawn.)
Spongebob: Wake up call! It's our vacation day!!!
(Cannonball suddenly wakes up with a jump, like he had just been jumpscared.)
(Spot stretches before getting up, and looks at Cannonball with a smile.)
Plankton: Now Spot, we need to have a good vacation, so BEHAVE.
Squidward: Shut up, i'm not suffering another day of misery and torture.
Gorm: What a grump squid.
(Everybody gets in a car, with Gorm as the driver.)
(insert some random singing here)
(Everybody moves to the tree house, where the Bears decide to stay.)
Sister Bear: Papa! Papa! They're here!
Dynablade: Raaaaawk! Rawk rawk!
Kirby: Poyo!
Spongebob: Look, it's the legendary Dynablade! The sharpest bird in all of the world!
(The car stops.)
(Spongebob knocks on the door of the Bear's house.)
(Papa Bear opens the door.)
Spongebob: Ready to go?
Papa Bear: Now now, we haven't even taken off our pajamas! We literally just got up!
Sister Bear: Papa, Papa, can we bring the camera?
Papa Bear: Sure, honey. We can.
Brother Bear: I cannot wait! Let's get started on packin'!
Gorm: Is this the part where i cry in a co- i mean.. get packing?
Patrick: I guess! WOOHOO!
(Patrick runs to the car.)
Spongebob: STOP! WE'RE NOT READY YET!
(Patrick freezes.)
Patrick: Okay.
(A montage occurs where most of the characters pack a bunch of objects together.)
Jellien: (growl)
Spongebob: Come on, we're going to the car now.
Spongebob: Wait.. How long were you being babysat again, Kirby?
(Kirby starts thinking, as a flashback occurs with Spongebob holding Kirby.)
Tuff: He's only being babysat for one month, sis.
Tiff: But he'll be gone for so long.
Tuff: It'll pass by quick.
(End of flashback.)
Kirby: Poyo.
Spongebob: Ooookay.
(Papa Bear starts the car.)
Squidward: At least this is more relaxing than being with that stupid sponge.
Spongebob: Squidward, don't you LOOOVE this?
Squidward: I spoke too soon.
Papa Bear: Ahh.. Smell that mountain air.
(Papa Bear breathes in, but makes a puckering face.)
Spongebob: (cough cough) That's not mountain air.... THAT'S A SKUNK!
(Cannonball coughs a few times, before fainting from the smell.)
(Kirby covers his face, not liking the smell AT ALL.)
Mama Bear: Better.. (cough) start taking those pictures,
Papa Bear: UGH!
(Kirby snaps a photo of Papa Bear being really disgusted from the smell.)
(Cannonball, who is somehow conscious, laughs at the situation)
(The car finally makes it to the cabin)
Brother Bear: Finally, we're.... here?
(The movie cuts to the place, with the crystal lake looking brown, the boat half-sunk, and the cabin worn down.)
Sister Bear: Just as i thought. A very incorrect interpretation of a vacation.
Papa Bear: We're living off the land here, though!
Gorm: Is this a good time to kill my- i mean.. enjoy this vacation?
Brother Bear: Did you just resort to suicide?
Gorm: Uh.... I'll tell you later.
Papa Bear: Come on, let's enjoy this!
(Everybody, except Kirby walks into the cabin, where it is very worn down)
Squidward: It can't get any worse than this...
Spongebob: Squidward, this is beautiful!
Squidward: It just did.
(The movie cuts to Kirby sitting in the grass.)
Kirby: Poyo.
(The bushes rustle. Only Kirby notices.)
Kirby: Poyo?
(A little white blob comes out. It hops towards Kirby.)
Kirby: Poyo..?
(The blob looks at kirby curiously. Kirby shudders.)
Kirby: Poyo....
(The blob notices the cabin. It hops towards the window. Kirby grabs him, thinking the people inside will reject it.)
Kirby: Poyo!
(The blob listens to Kirby, and it hides behind him.)
Spongebob: Uh. Kirby, you can go in.
(Kirby squishes the blob so nobody notices the blob. He walks across the group, and hides it under a bed.)
Kirby: Poyo, poyo poyo.
(The blob smiles, as it sees a jellybean on the floor.)
Kirby: Poyo?
(The blob points to the jellybean. Kirby grabs it and feeds it to him. The blob then transforms into a cannon, causing the bed to flip over. Everybody sees the blob.)
Spongebob: Where did that alive cannon come from?
(The blob blushes in embarrassment.)
Squidward: Get out of here, you very disgusting being!
Spongebob: Squidward! We do not call newcomers that! Can't you let him stay!?
(Everybody gives an angry look at Squidward, who is sweating.)
Squidward: I-uh.. duh.. he-heh.. On second thought.. maybe I'll just-
(Nitebear kicks Squidward out the window. Everybody cheers, including the blob who had just turned back.)
Nitebear: Mew mew. (Thank you.)
(Kirby hugs the blob, happy that it gets to stay. Even Cannonball smiles)
Papa Bear: Time for my "Wilderness Stew"!
(They all move to the sink. Papa Bear tries to get the water out, but all that comes out is a brown liquid. Spot gags at this view.)
Papa Bear: Gravy will do instead. Okay, time to eat!
(Spongebob, Papa Bear, Sister Bear, and Brother Bear all hold up a spoon)
Papa Bear: Time to slurp!
(Everybody slurps the soup, but they all throw up. Mama Bear takes a picture.)
Spongebob: That isn't gravy, that's POISON!
(Thunder crackles. Everybody goes inside.)
(Just then, it starts raining. Water drips from the ceiling.)
Spongebob: Does anybody have an umbrella?
(The jellien holds up a small parasol.)
Spongebob: That's not big enough! Everyone find shelter!
(Everybody scurries to fix the ceiling.)
Spongebob: ....Or do that.. I guess.
(The blob, Cannonball, and Kirby go under the bed.)
Plankton: You come here often?
Gorm: I don't want a part in ANY of this. Mind if i join you, friends?
(Gorm goes under the bed too.)
Patrick: Look over there! 2 flying thingies are playing!
Spongebob: No Patrick, that's Dynablade and a black bird fighting!
(The movie cuts to the black bird and Dynablade attacking each other.)
Patrick: Oh.
(Just then, the door opens, to reveal Blobert holding a mud-covered Kirby.)
Spongebob: Uh.. What happened to Kirby?
(Blobert tries explaining that Kirby fell into a pit of mud, but his language is so nonverbal, Spongebob cannot hear him.)
Spongebob: Okay.
(Just then, a Jellybee stings Spongebob.)
Spongebob: OW! What was that for?
(The jellybee, really wet, shrugs.)
Papa Bear: Stop, stop! We can't just panic, just as long as i sweep this wa-wa..WOAH!
(Spongebob quickly grabs him by the leg, but he slips outside the cabin too. They tumble down the muddy slope, until they hit a muddy swamp.)
(Spongebob rises to the surface, coughing up mud.)
Spongebob: Oh great, I'm covered with muck.
(Everybody, except Nitebear, Gorm, and Plankton go to the mess.)
Kirby: Okay?
Spongebob: I'm not okay, Kirby. I'm covered in mud, i almost got poisoned, i sniffed a skunk, and i suffered a Jellybee sting. It's just that this vacation is really bad so far.
Papa Bear: Didn't i just catch a mudsucker earlier?
Mama Bear: But Spongebob... Vacations aren't all about making things perfect, but it's instead all about the memories we remember to laugh at. Just look at these.
(Spongebob looks at the pictures, and smiles.)
Spongebob: Okay... maybe you're right. I guess i was making memories there.
Mama Bear: Come on, let's get you out of there, so you can be cleaned.
Spongebob: No... it's just that i have 1 more.. life-changing thing to say.
Brother Bear: What's that?
Spongebob: Duck.
Brother Bear: How is that even life-cha-
(A mud ball is suddenly thrown at Blobert. The movie cuts to Spongebob laughing at Blobert.)
Sister Bear: Oh, it's on.
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