Zombies

"Zombies" is an episode written by SpongeBot678 just for Spin Off Kings Season Four. Guess what happens in the episode. Go on, guess.
==Transcript==
(at an IRL SBFW reunion)
Level: I don't understand why we even bothered going to this thing.
CartoonGuy: Yeah, it’s pretty obvious everyone is just going to gang up and kill CrazySponge.
CrazySponge: What?
CartoonGuy: Nothing.
Level: Hey speaking of murdering CrazySponge, where’s Bot and Prim?!
(Bot’s driving a hummer dangerously with Prim)
Bot: Dude this car kicks ass, and I can watch Family Guy while I’m driving!
(Peter walks into the room holding a knife)
Peter: Hey Lois if I was gonna kill myself do I slit my wrists this way or this way?
Bot: HAHAHAHA! Dude those Griffins are so fucking funny they make me want to drive straight through this science research lab we are approaching.
Prim: Wait WHAT?!
(Bot drives the car into the science research lab)
Prim: What do you gain from this?
Bot: 2 seconds. (she leaves the car and takes loads of things from the lab and throws them in the back of the car)
Prim: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Bot: No time to explain. (gets back in the car and drives off, as she drives off the lab explodes)
(she parks the car somewhere)
Prim: Why did you steal all this science stuff?!
Bot: Because, this is the SBFW reunion.
Prim: ...and?
Bot: And everyone is going to be social rejects with no jobs. So with all this science stuff they’ll think we’re the only SBFW users who have important jobs. Here put on this coat. (gives him a scientist coat)
Prim: Fine… (puts it on) How do I look?
Bot: Eh… Hold on, turn around. (Prim turns around, Bot grabs a pen and writes “I KILLED ELMO 2” on the back of Prim’s coat) Perfect, let’s go.
(back at the SBFW reunion)
Zoltan: I don’t understand why I need to take off my clothes for you to know if I’m an SBFW user or not.
Mr. Renaud: It’s for security reasons. (Bot rams the car into the entrance and Zoltan runs in) SECURITY BREACH!
(Bot and Prim leave the car)
Pluto: Hey look it’s the married couple and… (notices Prim’s coat) you were the one who murdered Elmo 2?
Prim: Yeah- wait WHAT?! (rips off his coat and notices what Bot wrote on it) SPONGEBOT!
Bot: It was like that when you first got the job I swear.
Pluto: You have jobs?
Bot: Oh yeah we’re both successful scientists. Look, we have some of our work in the back of the car. (opens the back of the car)
Pluto: Ooh.
(cut to Prim and Bot talking to CartoonGuy, CrazySponge, and Level)
Bot: And that is how we made the Covid-19 vaccine.
(Joel walks up)
Joel: Hey look it’s the cast of Spin-Off Kings Season Four.
Bot: Hey Joel thanks for organizing this reunion.
Prim: Yeah but where are we supposed to go after this event? It’s getting dark and Bot doesn’t feel safe driving at night.
(cutaway: Bot and Prim are in the car, it’s parked up and there’s an owl on the dashboard)
Bot: It’s looking at me funny… I’m just gonna wait for it to move on it’s own.
(a few hours later, Bot has fell asleep and accidentally honks the horn, the owl then flies away)
(back to the scene)
Joel: Well I own a place close to here. Actually, it’s perfect, while we’re there you can all write your SOK episodes.
CrazySponge: ...fuck.
CartoonGuy: Wait a minute, Kelpy isn’t here.
Joel: Don’t worry I have gotten in contact with a replacement. Until then, my colleague can deal with Kelpy.
(Kelpy is talking to some other people at the reunion)
Kelpy: I had a bizarre dream last night. So I was Hitler and-
Dan: (yelling in his years through a megaphone) BACK TO WORK!
Kelpy: OW!
(at the house)
Joel: Alright if you’re hungry the kitchen is full of food, there’s a toilet that hopefully works, a TV over there.
Bot: Wait a minute if we’re here, then what happened to the other people at the reunion?
Joel: Oh, I’m sure they’re having fun.
(back at the reunion, everyone is looking through the stuff Bot stole)
Zoltan: What does this do? (presses a button that sends him to a universe filled with naked Chandlers) Amazing.
(Joey walks in)
Joey: Hey, how you doin’?
Zoltan: HOW DO I GO BACK?!
(back to the scene, Kelpy is looking through the stuff)
Kelpy: Is there anything here to stop the ringing in my ear? (finds a bottle with a green liquid in it) Hmm, this looks suspicious. (drinks all of it in one go) I don’t feel anything. (starts turning green, Pluto walks up to him)
Pluto: Whoa. Kelpy, you’re green.
Kelpy: No I’m not, you are.
Pluto: What?!
(Kelpy turns into a zombie)
Kelpy: ...I have the sudden urge to eat someone.
Pluto: Yeah we should go get some food- (Kelpy bites his arm) OW! What’s gotten into you? (he turns into a zombie as well)
Kelpy: I am still hungry.
Pluto: Yeah, let’s go. (they both walk off and Zoltan returns)
Zoltan: FINALLY! (gets in Bot’s car and drives off) Ooh I can watch Friends while I’m driving.
(at the house everyone has fell asleep while writing their SOK episodes, Bot wakes up)
Bot: (hears moaning outside the house) God, I hope that’s not what I think it is. (she looks outside the window) Uhh, uhh, uhh. (she turns on the TV)
News presenter: We interrupt this program for some breaking news, a zombie apocalypse appears to have started. Here to tell us more is our reporter.
(goes to the reporter who is surrounded by a bunch of zombies)
Reporter: Well we don’t know how it got to this point, excuse me. (shoots a zombie that’s near him in the head) But the police are arriving now. (a police car drives up to the scene)
News presenter: What’s happening now?
Reporter: Well the US police didn’t think a potential apocalypse was serious enough so they sent some British police officers here instead.
(the British police are in front of the zombies)
Police officer: Stop. Walk over here carefully. Or I will be forced to use this. (holds up a taser, a zombie walks over to him and throws the taser out of his hands) Alright now you’re under arrest for assaulting a police officer. (the zombie bites his arm) Oh well that’s just unnecessary. (the officer turns into a zombie and bites another officer)
Reporter: Well it looks like the police’s attempt to resolve an invasion of zombies peacefully has failed. And- (a zombie grabs the camera) HEY! HEY! (holds up a gun) GET AWAY FROM THE CAMERA! (he tries to shoot but the gun has run out of bullets) Oh god.
(cuts back to the presenter while the reporter can be heard screaming)
News presenter: And now, let’s go to the sports news!
(goes to a clip of zombies playing football with a human brain)
Bot: EVERYONE! WAKE UP!
(they all wake up)
CrazySponge: What?
Bot: LOOK OUTSIDE, IT’S THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!
(they all look out the window)
Level: I KNEW THIS REUNION WAS A BAD IDEA!
News presenter: We’re just gonna interrupt that football game as we’ve just had info from scientists. Earlier today 2 people broke into a science research lab and stole several items. One of the items stolen was a bottle of a liquid that turns people into zombies.
Prim: (looking at Bot) YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
News presenter: Wait, it seems I misread that.
Bot: Oh thank god.
News presenter: The liquid actually turns people into homosexual zombies.
Bot: Even better.
(Lock walks in)
Lock: Hi everyone! What have I missed so far? (long pause, she then looks out the window and notices all of the zombies) Shit, I always miss these things.
CartoonGuy: Wait a minute, Bot and Prim are scientists! I’m sure they’ll know how to turn everyone back to normal.
Bot: Oh yes, I’m sure we’ll be able to do somethin-
Prim: NO! WE’RE NOT ACTUALLY SCIENTISTS!
CartoonGuy: WHAT?!
Prim: On our way here, Bot robbed a science research lab and took loads of shit so we could act like we’ve succeeded in life.
Bot: And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for my meddling husband...
CrazySponge: Now what?!
(1 week later: Bot is writing in her diary)
Bot: It’s been 1 week since Prim exposed me for accidentally starting a zombie apocalypse… Almost everyone here has been infected and turned into gay zombies.
(cuts to a scene of 2 male zombies making out on top of someone’s car, Tim is watching them through a sniper rifle)
Tim: Say your prayers, (BLEEP: no word in particular).
(Tim shoots them both, a bunch of zombies are standing right behind him)
Tim: Jokes on you. There’s no such thing as a gay Russian, not even in an apocalypse.
(the scene cuts back to Bot writing in her diary as Tim can be heard screaming)
Bot: (narrating) Personally, I think we should just accept fate, would the world really be that bad if everyone was a gay zombie? I don’t think so. But even with all this happening, some people still don’t believe there is an apocalypse.
(cuts to a man speaking to his wife in a restaurant)
Man: Listen, Shannon. There is no apocalypse. It’s just the government trying to make us think homosexuality exists. (a zombie walks into the restaurant and everyone starts screaming) I mean have you seen one of these “gay zombies” in real life?! I don’t think so.
Shannon: Um. (points to the zombie)
Man: Not now, Shannon. Gay zombies don’t exist. (restaurant staff try to shoot the zombie but their attempts are unsuccessful and the zombie infects all of them) If gay zombies exist, then there are more than 2 genders.
Shannon: You fucking idiot, look behind you!
Man: What?! (the zombie is right behind him now) Oh you just always have to be right, don’t you?
(the scene cuts back to Bot)
Bot: (narrating) Maybe we should just accept these gay zombies into society. (she stops writing) Nah, this is pointless. Nobody is going to read this. (she throws it onto the fire the house are using as heating)
Level: Hey, has anybody seen CrazySponge?
(CrazySponge comes back from the bathroom)
CrazySponge: I’m back. So basically, I clogged the toilet.
Lock: Has the news found a safe zone yet?
Prim: Let’s see. (turns the news on)
(the news studio has been invaded by zombies eating the presenters, one zombie walks up to the camera and starts to take his clothes off)
Zombie: Hey boys, who wants to see this huuuuge- (Prim turns the TV off)
Prim: Nope.
CrazySponge: BUT WE’VE RUN OUT OF CHEERIOS! WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET MORE CHEERIOS?!
Level: Up my ass.
CrazySponge: …really?
CartoonGuy: He does have a point though. (there is no food in the kitchen) There isn’t much food left at all.
Prim: Well it looks like we’ll just have to go find a safe zone ourselves and hope they have more food.
(cuts to everyone with guns)
Prim: Alright guys, if a gay zombie harasses you when we look for a safe zone you shoot them. It’s not homophobic.
Bot: That is your personal opinion.
CrazySponge: OK so when Level walks up to me I shoot him?!
Level: What? (CrazySponge shoots him) OW! WHAT THE HELL?! I DIDN’T EVEN- (CrazySponge shoots him again) OW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! (CrazySponge shoots him again) OK THAT’S IT! (they both start shooting each other, Bot starts filming it)
Bot: This is hilarious! (CrazySponge shoots Level in the chest, killing him)
Prim: OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED HIM!
CrazySponge: Hey, I’m just following your orders.
Prim: I SAID KILL THE ZOMBIES, NOT LEVEL!
CrazySponge: Oh… Well that wasn’t very clear.
CartoonGuy: Wait, who had all these guns anyway?
Prim: Oh Bot brings guns to every reunion she goes to.
(cuts to Bot at a high school reunion)
Bot: Hey guys what’s up? (a gun falls out of her pocket, everyone stares at her) I swear to God, that wasn’t there when I got here.
(back to the scene)
Lock: What are we supposed to do now Level's dead?
Prim: Let's just pretend he was infected.
CartoonGuy: Is killing the zombies really the only thing we can do?
CrazySponge: Well we could try to cure the gays. (everyone stares at him) NOT IN THAT CONTEXT! NOT IN THAT CONTEXT! I mean like make a vaccine.
Prim: It still sounds pretty bad.
Bot: Yes because killing gays sounds fine.
Prim: OK Bot, let's make a vaccine then.
Bot: No, I don't want to make a vaccine. That's boring.
Prim: THEN WHY ARE WE ARGUING ABOUT THIS?!
Bot: I DON'T KNOW! (Bot opens the door) LET’S JUST GO DO YOUR THING!
(they start walking out of the house) 
Prim: OK so if we see any survivors we ask them if they know where the safe zone is. If they don’t, we’ll still invite them to our team and help get them to safety.
(a man walks up to them)
Man: Wait! I just want to let you know that-
CrazySponge: Not now, we’re in the middle of a thing here. (CrazySponge walks off to rejoin the team, leaving the man behind)
(cut to a few hours later: they’re still looking for a safe zone and CartoonGuy stops walking as his stomach starts rumbling)
CartoonGuy: I’m hungry. (someone else’s stomach can be heard rumbling) Very hungry. Wait.
(there’s a zombie right behind CartoonGuy)
CartoonGuy: (pulls out a chainsaw) I have a chainsaw. Pull down your pants.
(cuts back to Bot, CrazySponge, Lock, and Prim looking for a safe zone)
Bot: It’s been hours, we’re never gonna find a safe zone.
Lock: Where did CartoonGuy go? (CartoonGuy rejoins them, he is now infected)
CartoonGuy: I just met some really awesome people…
Lock: Uhh…
CartoonGuy: Hey look there they are. (points to a group of zombies) They are really cool, and hot.
Prim: Are you feeling OK?
CrazySponge: He needs some water!
Bot: HE’S INFECTED!
CartoonGuy: You fools, there is no safe zone! We are going to take over the world!
Prim: Alright I didn’t want to do this. (pulls out his gun and tries to shoot CartoonGuy, only to find out the gun is actually a toy gun) BOT, WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS?! (CartoonGuy shoots Prim instead)
Bot: Oh no, my loving husband! He’s dead! (steals his wallet)
CartoonGuy: You haven’t seen the last of me. Soon you’ll see that- (Bot shoots him)
CrazySponge: Well this is great, now there’s only three of us left and we still haven’t found any sign of a safe zone.
(they continue walking and it turns out Zoltan (who is not infected) was listening to them while hiding behind a tree)
Zoltan: A safe zone? Hmm… (walks off)
(back to the team)
Lock: Y’know, it’s amazing that CrazySponge has survived this long without a house falling on top of him.
(cuts to the zombies picking up the house the team were staying at before and throwing it)
CrazySponge: Oh come on, that’s never going to happen to me. (the house falls on top of him. squashing him)
(cuts to CrazySponge in heaven)
CrazySponge: I stand by my statement.
(back to the scene)
Bot: Well I guess it’s just the two of us. (notices a car is near them) Perfect.
(they both get in the car)
Bot: Now we should find a safe zone quicker. (she starts driving and then notices a zombie is holding a press conference) Hold on, I just need to make one quick stop. (she leaves Lock behind in the car and a bunch of zombies walk towards the car)
Lock: Great. (tries to look for her gun and can't find it, she dropped it outside the car) Uh oh…
(a zombie is speaking at the press conference)
Zombie: So if you guys see a hot guy, make sure to bring his brain to me. (Bot shoots him and takes the stage)
Bot: My fellow members of the LGBTQ+ community. We are succeeding in eliminating our greatest enemy, the straights. I definitely support everything you do. So please be nice to us and let us find the safe zone so we can live. (long pause and the zombies all try to attack her) You guys suck.
(Bot looks for the car and realizes the zombies broke into it and infected Lock)
Bot: Shit, now everybody’s dead. Well I'm still here. (pulls out her gun and shoots a load of zombies) Can I have my car back now?
Zombie: Nope.
(Bot shoots him and gets the car back, she drives and hits several zombies on the way, eventually she sees a sign that has “safe zone here :)” written on it)
Bot: Finally, a safe zone. (she parks up and then enters the safe zone only to be greeted by Le French Guy)
Le French Guy: I love fucking baguettes.
Bot: Oh my god, THE SAFE ZONE IS FRANCE! (French guy takes off his mustache revealing himself to be Zoltan)
Zoltan: HOW DID YOU GET HERE?! I LEFT A TRAP PREDICTING YOU'D SHOW UP!
Bot: Where?
(Zoltan walks towards the trap)
Zoltan: Right here! (he gets stuck in a net) NOT AGAIN! Hey Bot, my best friend, can you please let me out of here?
Bot: Fine. (gets him out of the net) Is there anybody else here?
Zoltan: Yes, my mother is here too. (puts on a wig)
Zoltan’s Mum: Zoltan is adopted.
Bot: Please tell me the safe zone isn’t just your alts.
(Zoltan takes off the wig)
Zoltan: It is.
Bot: You haven’t seen any other survivors or safe zones?
Zoltan: Nope.
Bot: Fuck. Welp, the Earth is doomed. Might as well bring back Dead Squidward. (turns herself into Dead Squidward)
Dead Squidward: I’m dead.
Zoltan: NOOOO!
(meanwhile: the man who approached CrazySponge earlier is now president of a different safe zone filled with people)
Man: I am proud to say that the scientists may have found a cure for the zombies! Soon enough, society will return back to normal!
(the crowd cheers)
Man: Hey y’know what would be silly, if some survivors are stuck somewhere else unaware of this place.
(the crowd laughs as the episode ends)
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