Two and a Half Men (season 6)

The sixth season of Two and a Half Men began on September 22, 2008 and concluded on May 18, 2009.
== Cast ==
=== Main ===
* Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper
* Jon Cryer as Alan Harper
* Angus T. Jones as Jake Harper
* Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper-Melnick
* Conchata Ferrell as Berta
* Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper
=== Recurring ===
* Jennifer Taylor as Chelsea[note 1]
* Ryan Stiles as Herb Melnick
* Kelly Stables as Melissa
* Melanie Lynskey as Rose
=== Guest ===
* Martin Mull as Russell
* Rena Sofer as Chrissy
* Alicia Witt as Dolores Pasternak
* Michael Clarke Duncan as Jerome Burnett
* Tinashe Kachingwe as Celeste Burnett
* Bellamy Young as Diane
* Jon Polito as Mr. Sharipa
* Emilio Estevez as Andy
* James Earl Jones as himself
* Carol Kane as Shelly
* Iqbal Theba as Don
* Jane Lynch as Dr. Linda Freeman
* Diora Baird as Wanda
* J.D. Walsh as Gordon
* Meagen Fay as Martha
* Joel Murray as Petey
* Emmanuelle Vaugier as Mia
== Episodes ==
No.
overall 	No. in
season 	Title 	Directed by 	Written by 	Original air date 	U.S. viewers
(millions) 	
116 	1 	"Taterhead is Our Love Child" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson 	September 22, 2008 	14.88[1] 	
Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son. 	Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son. 	Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son. 	Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son. 	Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son. 	Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son. 	Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son. 	Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend, Chrissy (Rena Sofer), and she has a son named Chuck who looks, dresses and acts disturbingly like Charlie. Alan takes great pleasure making fun of the situation. Charlie learns that condoms are only 98% effective and, thinking that Chuck is his son, he pays Chrissy a large lump sum and promises to send her a check every month, for Chuck's maintenance. Just after Charlie leaves Chrissy's apartment, it is revealed that she is only Chuck's babysitter (and his name is actually Jeremy), and her goal was merely to con Charlie out of money.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, satirizing a remark by Alan, by whose logic Jake might be their son.
117 	2 	"Pie Hole, Herb" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky& Susan Beavers 	September 29, 2008 	13.58[2] 	
Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.	Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.	Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.	Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.	Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.	Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.	Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.	Alan lends Charlie $38, which Charlie has no interest in repaying. Alan seeks revenge to get the money back, and pumps out gas from Charlie's Mercedes to his own, but still claims Charlie owes him $24.78 as there wasn't enough petrol in the tank to amortize the full $38. Charlie accuses Alan of being cheap, ends up angrily throwing him out of the house, so Alan and Jake temporarily stay with a friendly Herb and angry Judith. But after Herb bonds with Charlie and Alan crosses a line with Judith, she takes measures to reset the situation, forcing Alan to apologize to Charlie and forcing Charlie to take him back. However, after she and Herb leave, Charlie, refusing to take Alan back in, locks him out of the house. Meanwhile, Evelyn offers Jake his first job.Title quotation from: Judith, to Herb, when he asks Alan where he'll be staying after Charlie kicks him out.
118 	3 	"Damn You, Eggs Benedict" 	Jean Sagal 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 	October 6, 2008 	14.07[3] 	
Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe. 	Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe. 	Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe. 	Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe. 	Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe. 	Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe. 	Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe. 	Charlie seeks to broaden his horizons and improve his sex life by taking up cooking, but his focus on egg recipes has an unexpected result. Alan and Jake try to emulate Charlie's lifestyle: Alan by dating two women at once, and Jake by getting drunk, but they find out the hard way that Charlie's way of life is not for them. Jake ends up vomiting violently, with Charlie at his side. Alan's first date finds out he has another woman, because of his inability to lie convincingly, and when he tries the 'honesty is the best policy' approach with the other woman, he ends up getting tazered.Title quotation from: Charlie, once he realizes he's made a mistake in his egg recipe.
119 	4 	"The Flavin' and the Mavin'" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 	October 13, 2008 	N/A 	
While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place. 	While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place. 	While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place. 	While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place. 	While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place. 	While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place. 	While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place. 	While Alan's car is in the shop, Charlie grudgingly drives Alan to work, but he cheers up when he meets Alan's receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to make a move on her, because she is very good at her job and for a low wage, and Alan is convinced that it would end badly for himself. Of course, that merely spurs Charlie on. Alan's misgivings prove correct when Charlie breaks up with Melissa after they have spent a long weekend together, mostly in Charlie's bed. Melissa is so angry, and so dangerous, as she drives them to work, that Alan feels he has to give into her demands for a raise, health insurance and a paid vacation.
First appearance of: MelissaTitle quotation from: Alan, quoting Martin Lewis to Charlie, while they're in Charlie's car on the way to Alan's work place.
120 	5 	"A Jock Strap in Hell" 	Jean Sagal 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers 	October 20, 2008 	14.63 	
The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven. 	The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven. 	The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven. 	The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven. 	The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven. 	The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven. 	The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven. 	The guys bump into Jake's former teacher Delores Pasternak (now played by Alicia Witt, before played by Missi Pyle) who tells them that the way Charlie dumped her caused her to have a nervous breakdown, lose her job as a teacher and become a stripper. Guilt-stricken, Charlie tries to help her with a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but later he finds out she has also become strictly religious. Charlie's solution is the same as the first time.Title quotation from: Jake, asking if such garb is required if you die and don't get into Heaven.
121 	6 	"It's Always Nazi Week" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Jim Patterson 	November 3, 2008 	N/A 	
Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches. 	Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches. 	Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches. 	Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches. 	Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches. 	Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches. 	Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches. 	Herb tells Charlie and Alan that he and Judith have been having marital problems. Charlie offers Herb advice on how to stand up for himself, resulting with Judith kicking Herb out of the house. Alan, overjoyed by the situation, goes to Judith's house pretending that he has to pick up some forgotten Jake's school books, and confronts her crying. He hugs her and calms her down, resulting in the two of them having sex. Meanwhile, Jake has been sent to Charlie's for three months, and Herb bonds with Charlie.Title quotation from: Alan, moaning about a TV show that Charlie watches.
122 	7 	"Best H.O. Money Can Buy" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky 	November 10, 2008 	N/A 	
Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room. 	Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room. 	Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room. 	Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room. 	Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room. 	Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room. 	Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room. 	Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back. Alan and Judith begin arguing and decide to end their "relationship" when Herb turns up. Later on in the episode, Jake reveals that Judith has become pregnant - leaving Alan completely shocked; Charlie explains this to Jake that Alan's doing math in his head. Meanwhile, to cover up Alan's escapade with Judith, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he's being sent to military school.Title quotation from: Herb to Charlie and two prostitutes, about his train set when they arrive back at his hotel room.
123 	8 	"Pinocchio's Mouth" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson 	November 17, 2008 	N/A 	
Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is. 	Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is. 	Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is. 	Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is. 	Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is. 	Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is. 	Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is. 	Charlie's new girlfriend, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone. During the night, he finds a lot of problems and cannot sleep. He gets up to leave but steps on Chelsea's cat which screams loudly, waking Chelsea up and causing her to angrily kicking Charlie out. Charlie talks her into giving him another chance, but when Charlie makes too many adjustments she decides she'll happily spend nights at his place from now on. Meanwhile, a pregnant Judith has grounded Jake for mooning a bunch of girls in school and Alan finds it hard to keep Jake obeying the rules of punishment.
First appearance of: ChelseaTitle quotation from: Charlie, describing how uncomfortable a wooden toilet seat at Chelsea's apartment is.
124 	9 	"The Mooch at the Boo" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers 	November 24, 2008 	N/A 	
Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls. 	Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls. 	Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls. 	Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls. 	Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls. 	Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls. 	Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls. 	Jake disappears with Celeste, (Tinashe Kachingwe), who is the daughter of Charlie's new neighbor, Jerome, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Charlie talks to Jerome and tells him not to be so over-protective of his daughter and the two become friends. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date (Bellamy Young) with the help of Charlie's Mercedes. He takes her back to Evelyn's house as Evelyn is away on holiday, and ends up being tricked into wearing one of her dresses as the woman steals Alan's wallet and Charlie's car. Worse, Alan is put on hold when he tries to phone the police. Even worse, Evelyn returns from vacation and sees Alan in her dress.Title quotation from: Alan, to his date, referring to Charlie's address when he calls.
125 	10 	"He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers 	December 8, 2008 	N/A 	
Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich. 	Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich. 	Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich. 	Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich. 	Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich. 	Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich. 	Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich. 	Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore as he no longer has to pay for Jake and plans to spend the rest of his life at Charlie's house. Charlie later comes up with the idea of Alan paying him rent, but the number that gives Alan a say in what goes on in the house was too high for him. Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether, but this ends badly when Jake burns the food and the fire brigade have to show up to Evelyn's house to extinguish the flames.Title quotation from: Alan, once Charlie tells him that Jake bit into his own fingers while eating a sandwich.
126 	11 	"The Devil's Lube" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson 	December 15, 2008 	N/A 	
One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork. 	One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork. 	One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork. 	One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork. 	One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork. 	One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork. 	One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork. 	One of Charlie's old partners in crime, Andy (Emilio Estevez), dies while talking to Charlie, leaving him to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them. At the funeral, Charlie begins to worry about his own life and Alan tells him there has always been one person in his life on whom he can depend. Charlie thinks he means Rose. Charlie takes every medical test he can, and when the results come back positive, he has to let down a very happy Rose who he was just about to propose to.Title quotation from: Andy, to Charlie, about spitshining the Devil's pitchfork.
127 	12 	"Thank God for Scoliosis" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 	January 12, 2009 	N/A 	
Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes. 	Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes. 	Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes. 	Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes. 	Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes. 	Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes. 	Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes. 	Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress Janine (Emily Rose), while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction and Melissa's mother (Carol Kane).Title quotation from: Alan, to Melissa, just before he learns he has no patients for another 30 minutes.
128 	13 	"I Think You Offended Don" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster & Jim Patterson 	January 19, 2009 	N/A 	
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver. 	Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver. 	Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver. 	Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver. 	Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver. 	Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver. 	Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver. 	Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; he helps Herb paint the baby's room, but gets thrown out after he upsets Judith. Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.Title quotation from: A drunken Charlie, when he thinks Alan upset his cab driver.
129 	14 	"David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson 	February 2, 2009 	N/A 	
Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party. 	Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party. 	Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party. 	Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party. 	Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party. 	Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party. 	Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party. 	Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic 40th birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.Title quotation from: Berta, about the magician at Alan's birthday party.
130 	15 	"I'd Like to Start with the Cat" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Chuck Lorre 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Susan Beavers 	February 9, 2009 	N/A 	
Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well. 	Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well. 	Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well. 	Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well. 	Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well. 	Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well. 	Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well. 	Charlie has a relationship problem with Chelsea, who thinks he is still his old self. Charlie panics and suggests couple's counseling with Dr. Freeman, which she accepts, while Alan plays their problems to his benefit. Jake is tired of Charlie stealing his dessert and decides to mark what's his.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, after she claims he doesn't know her very well.
131 	16 	"She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime" 	Jeff Melman 	Story by : Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky 	March 2, 2009 	N/A 	
Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching. 	Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching. 	Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching. 	Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching. 	Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching. 	Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching. 	Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching. 	Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman named Wanda (Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea returns from her ex-mother-in-law's funeral; Jake seems to recognize Wanda but doesn't realize that she is a pin-up girl on one of his posters. Meanwhile, Alan won't let Jake drive the car.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, when she interrupts the basketball game they are watching.
132 	17 	"The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster 	March 9, 2009 	N/A 	
Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom. 	Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom. 	Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom. 	Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom. 	Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom. 	Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom. 	Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom. 	Charlie, to his own surprise, tells Chelsea he loves her, but he doesn't get the response he wanted. After a visit to Dr. Freeman fails to help, Charlie decides he must take drastic measures to restore the 'balance of power'.Title quotation from: Alan, asking Charlie what part of the word "ocupado" he doesn't understand, after he barges in on Alan in the bathroom.
133 	18 	"My Son's Enormous Head" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Jim Patterson 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky 	March 16, 2009 	N/A 	
Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth. 	Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth. 	Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth. 	Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth. 	Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth. 	Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth. 	Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth. 	Chelsea becomes ill and Charlie has to look after her. He is not thrilled about it but he does try, and ends up taking advice and help from Alan.Title quotation from: Alan, to Charlie, about Jake's birth.
134 	19 	"The Two Finger Rule" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 	March 30, 2009 	N/A 	
Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule." 	Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule." 	Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule." 	Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule." 	Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule." 	Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule." 	Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule." 	Charlie, Alan, Gordon, Herb, and Jerome (Michael Clarke Duncan) reminisce about sexual experiences after Chelsea finds some photos on Charlie's phone; Alan's receptionist Melissa is still punishing him for having sex with her mother, and Charlie resolves to fix things with Chelsea because he doesn't want to end up like any of these guys. Meanwhile, Jake goes out with Jerome's daughter Celeste again.Title quotation from: Herb, referencing Judith's eyebrow policy; Charlie notes that Chelsea had a different "two-finger rule."
135 	20 	"Hello, I am Alan Cousteau" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts 
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky 	April 13, 2009 	N/A 	
Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water. 	Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water. 	Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water. 	Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water. 	Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water. 	Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water. 	Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water. 	Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting; Evelyn bribes Alan with a waterproof Rolex and Jake with a pizza so they can't help Charlie turn Chelsea against her; Charlie ultimately turns the tables and gets his revenge by befriending Chelsea's not-very-tolerant mother, Martha (Meagen Fay).Title quotation from: Alan, pretending to be Jacques Cousteau while he is testing out his waterproof Rolex in a jug full of water.
136 	21 	"Above Exalted Cyclops" 	James Widdoes 	Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky 	April 27, 2009 	N/A 	
Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother. 	Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother. 	Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother. 	Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother. 	Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother. 	Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother. 	Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother. 	Alan lets Chelsea fix him up on a blind date with one of her friends. The friend turns about to be Rose, shocking both Alan and Charlie. Things actually go well, but Rose, still smitten about Charlie, reverts back to her old stalker self and Alan ends up with one of his model cars glued to his testicles.Title quotation from: Rose, to Charlie, about rankings in the Ku Klux Klan while describing Chelsea's mother.
137 	22 	"Sir Lancelot's Litter Box" 	Jon Cryer 	Story by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster 
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson 	May 4, 2009 	N/A 	
Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower. 	Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower. 	Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower. 	Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower. 	Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower. 	Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower. 	Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower. 	Charlie and Alan both face lifestyle changes when Chelsea moves into the house: Charlie is annoyed with Chelsea changing things, and Alan is annoyed at having her spare stuff in his room.Title quotation from: Chelsea, to Charlie, when he spots the litter box near his shower.
138 	23 	"Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth" 	Mark Roberts 	Story by : Don Foster & Sid Youngers 
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky 	May 11, 2009 	N/A 	
Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking. 	Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking. 	Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking. 	Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking. 	Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking. 	Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking. 	Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking. 	Charlie takes advantage of Alan and Chelsea's fast friendship by having Alan do all of the activities that Chelsea likes and Charlie hates; Alan takes up ventriloquism and pushes Charlie to his limit when he "text-blocks" Charlie while he is in bed with Chelsea, causing Charlie and Chelsea to have an argument.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Alan, when he is cooking.
139 	24 	"Baseball Was Better with Steroids" 	Lee Aronsohn 	Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers 
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn 	May 18, 2009 	N/A 	
The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed. 	The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed. 	The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed. 	The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed. 	The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed. 	The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed. 	The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed. 	The return of Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) finds Charlie questioning his devotion to Chelsea; the guys rush a laboring Judith to the hospital; Alan reunites with Melissa (Kelly Stables), who now works as a hospital clerk, and struggles in his attempt to write a screenplay; Judith gives birth to Jake's baby sister, but the parentage is still unknown; Herb breaks his leg shortly after Judith breaks her water; Charlie runs into Mia in the coffee shop, resulting in a cliff-hanger season finale.Title quotation from: Charlie, to Chelsea, while watching baseball in bed.