Gaston (song)

"Gaston" is a song from the 1991 Disney film Beauty and the Beast. After being rejected by Belle, Gaston and Lafou go to the tavern. Here, all the characters sing about how great Gaston is.
==Lyrics==
<tabber>
Original film=
LeFou: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why!
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there's no man in town half as manly!
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
LeFou and Chorus: No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"
LeFou: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drrips!
Chorus: No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
Stanley: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Bimbettes: For there's no one as burly and brawny
Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare
LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.
Gaston: That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair!
Chorus: No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!
Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge
Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
LeFou: Then goes tromping around
Wearing boots like Gaston!
Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!
[Heard only in the soundtrack version]
Chorus:
Say it again!
Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who's that hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town
Who's got all of it down...
LeFou: And his name's G-A-S... T...
G-A-S-T-E...
G-A-S-T-O... ohh, ow...
Chorus: GASTON!!!
[Heard only in the film version]
Chorus: My what a guy!
GASTON!
|-|Reprise=
Gaston: LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking
LeFou: A dangerous pastime
Gaston: I know,
But that wacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only so-so
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony old man
See, I promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan!
If I... *whispering*
LeFou: Yes?
Gaston: Then we... *whispering*
LeFou: No, would she?
Gaston: *whispering* Guess!
LeFou: Now I get it!
Gaston and LeFou: Let's go!
No one plots like Gaston
Gaston: Takes cheap shots like Gaston
LeFou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!
Chorus: So his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My what a guy
Gaston!
Maurice (speaking): Will no one help me?!
|-|Demo reprise=
Gaston: LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking
It's a dangerous pastime, I know
But that wacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only so-so
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony old man
See, I've promised myself I'll be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan!
If I... *whispering*
LeFou: Yes?
Gaston: Then we... *whispering*
LeFou: No, would she?
Gaston: *whispering* Guess!
LeFou: Now I get it!
Gaston and LeFou: Let's go!
Chrous: No one plots like Gaston
Gaston: Takes cheap shots like Gaston
LeFou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!
Gaston: Yes, I'm endlessly wildly resourceful
LeFou: As down to the depths you descend
Gaston: I won't even be mildly remorseful
Just as long as I get what I want in the end!
Chorus: Who has brains like Gaston
Entertains like Gaston
LeFou: Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
Chorus: And his marriage we soon will be celebrating
Say it again!
Who's a ten out of ten?
Then let's say it once more
Like we did heretofore
He's a champ, he's an ace
It's all over his face
He's got brains and especially brawn
It's Gaston!
Gaston: Thank you boys!
Chorus: Gaston!
Gaston: Oh, please!
Chorus: GASTON!!!
Gaston: That's me!
|-|2017 version=
LeFou: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why!
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly!
Village Lasses: Perfect, a pure paragon!
LeFou: You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
LeFou and Chorus: Who plays darts like Gaston
Who breaks hearts like Gaston
LeFou: Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston?
Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!
Gaston: I needed encouragement--thank you, LeFou!
LeFou: Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you! ...Too much?
Gaston: Yep.
Chorus: No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
LeFou: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Gaston: When I hunt I sneak up with my quiver
And beasts of the field say a prayer
First I carefully aim for the liver
Then I shoot from behind
LeFou: Is that fair?
Gaston: I don't care.
Chorus: No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! *spits*
Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
(instrumental break)
LeFou and Chorus: Who has brains like Gaston
Entertains like Gaston
Gaston: Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Chorus: Say it again!
Who's a man among men?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town
Who's got all of it down...
LeFou: And his name's G-A-S... T...
I believe there's another T...
It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate and I've never actually had to spell it out loud before...
Chorus: GASTON!!!
</tabber>
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Category:Beauty and the Beast songs
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