What the Funk?!

Enjoy.
==Plot==
Sometimes when I’m trying to write these episodes it’s really hard to get something interesting to happen. I have over an hour’s worth of footage and not a lot happens in it. The first recording is 21 minutes long and it’s just April ordering a pizza and doing some university thing while the rest of the household is asleep. The second recording is SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab trying to get the rating of the restaurant up and it actually works. It goes from 1 star to 1 and a half stars. This was 16 minutes long.
The third recording:
Ah. This keeps happening and Graggle says to the firefighter who turns up quickly “you are my hero! I promise I won’t forget that I owe my life to your heroic actions.” OK Graggle. At this point I decide to add a new member to the household to make things more exciting. So say hello to Prince Philip.
Prince Philip the raccoon.
He doesn’t do much, he gets scared by the stereo at one point. Prince Philip is a “mischievous cat” he’s a raccoon but the game thinks raccoons and cats are the same thing. Hallie is scared after seeing a monster under her bed. Even though she became friends with the monster in a previous episode, the monster no longer wants to talk to her. And Prince Philip is scratching the bench.
That was an hour and 11 minutes long. We’re gonna need something exciting to happen.
Alright after opening the game again, Funky gets a text from some random person saying their date with some other random person went well. That’s good to hear I guess. Considering how bored I was before, fuck it.
What’s the worst that could happen?
[Writer’s note: Yikes really bad idea]
[Writer’s note 2: It was set to fast? The whole time I was playing I thought it was set to very fast.]
Serial killer, Patrick Rogers, turns up at the house asking if anybody wants to talk about video games and card collections. I don’t know what happens if you accept but I know if you decline he murders you. I’ll just let Hallie, the child, bully him. He just gets annoyed by being made fun of, the mod doesn’t let him kill children. At one point Hallie manages to shove him. After that, she orders him to clean up the house. He runs off and actually does some cleaning, I guess he feels threatened by her.
After cleaning, she shouts “forbidden words” at him. I don’t know what that means but something spins round his head so I guess it’s something bad. After some more yelling, an axe is suddenly thrown at Patrick’s head and he dies. Nobody actually threw the axe at his head, it just sort of appeared for 2 nanoseconds and then he was dead. It’s like Hallie has some sort of dark magic she was using but she seems to be shocked by the death too. The ghost of Mr. Krabs shows up just to laugh at the situation. The Grim Reaper also shows up and appears to blame Graggle for the death for some reason, I can confirm that he had nothing to do with this. In very much related news, Hallie is going through a “mean phase” of her childhood.
Prince Philip the raccoon doesn’t take the news of the death well: “Death is inevitable. Prince knows that. Prince just didn't think that His Highness would be thinking about it so soon. There is still so much to do! How will Prince get everything done if death is just around the corner? Is it safer to just hide forever?!” I have bad news for you, Prince Philip.
Car accident?
The car never comes, he just walks outside and coughs because he has the flu. I know why this happened, it’s because Funky is exempt from being killed. You know what, I like chaos. I am removing the exemptions. Everybody can be killed, it’s just like Jesus said, fuck ‘em.
[Writer’s note 3: Yikes really bad idea]
For some reason, Graggle keeps sniffing the air. I can’t stop him, he just keeps doing it.
It turns out that Funky doesn’t just have the flu. He also has a deadly disease. He goes to get checked up at the hospital. As if that wasn’t enough, another serial killer Zanny Antowan shows up. She’s an evil nanny looking for work. Hallie rudely introduces herself to Zanny while I get an update on Funky. We need to beginning preparing for the inevitability of Funky dying. He is living his last days and the best thing to do is to rest and say goodbye to his loved ones. After crying over the news, Funky decides to make some food.
As if that wasn’t enough, SpongeBob gets kidnapped. The kidnapper tells the household not to worry and that they’ll be in touch soon, while putting SpongeBob in the back of a pick-up truck. Interestingly, while SpongeBob is being put in the truck he suddenly turns into a ghost. I’ve seen sims get kidnapped in this game before, in fact I’ve kidnapped sims in this game before. But I’ve never seen a sim turn into a ghost while it happens before and that seems to suggest that SpongeBob is already dead.
OK, we’ll deal with SpongeBob soon but let’s go back to Funky Kong for a minute because the game made such a big deal out of him dying before… There is a way Funky can be saved, he can have a surgery done at the hospital. There’s only a 20% chance of it succeeding but still… would’ve been nice to mention it. I send Funky to have that surgery done and that nanny won’t shut up, there’s not even any work she can do here, the youngest child is old enough to take care of herself. April declines the nanny’s invitation and the nanny chokes April with what I think is a nappy, that’s a bit of an overreaction.
Alright, that’s another problem we have to deal with… No wait, Funky is back home. His surgery failed and Funky is living his last days. At this rate, everyone in the household is going to be dead by the time this episode finishes. Graggle wakes up and kills the nanny by smashing her head to the ground. Immediately after that, Graggle checks his phone and receives a voice message that says “HELP PLEASE!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM, I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED” another voice is heard saying “How the fuck did you get your hands on this?!” Screaming is also heard in the call I think, I don’t know the notification is really confusing. This is obviously referring to the SpongeBob situation, unless someone else got kidnapped when I wasn’t looking which is entirely possible at this point.
While Funky is going upstairs to plead for April, 2 more serial killers show up. Some guy who is talking about the “power of knowledge” and the Patrick Rogers guy who died earlier, I don’t know why or how he’s back. Funky finally tries to plead for April, but it’s too late, the plea has fallen on death’s deaf ears. April is truly gone, I get another notification. It’s time for… April’s GP visit, she JUST died. I get yet another notification, “it’s always sad when a Sim dies. It’s even sadder when they had unpaid debt and it gets collected from the rest of the household’s funds. She owed $69 on something, I have no idea what.
OK now we can try to deal with the SpongeBob situation, Graggle tries to contact him through his phone. SpongeBob’s phone is turned off and Graggle should wait until the kidnappers contact him…
Who’s watching The Simpsons?
Graggle heads to work. Uh, I think a member of your household dying of an illness, another being kidnapped and another having been murdered is a good reason to stay at home. I sent Graggle back and he has earnt $3. What a day of work! That wasn’t what I said, that was what the game notification said. Jason Voorhees starts killing people outside again. Graggle kills one of the serial killers (the knowledge one) that’s in the house by stabbing him and the other one (Patrick Rogers) runs off after witnessing the murder. I think Graggle chases after him but I missed it because I was too busy trying to deal with the Funky situation. I send Funky back to the hospital but this time I follow him there to try to see why the surgery was unsuccessful. While I’m doing this I get another notification saying that there’s a burglar in the area. I'll deal with that later. I'm very busy.
Alright, let’s see why the surgery was unsuccessful.
Ah. That explains it. Dr. Aidan isn’t very helpful, unsurprisingly. At one point the illness causes Funky to pass out in front of him and he just… goes on his phone. To make things worse, Jason Voorhees is going on his killing spree at the hospital now. At this point I lower the tragedy occurrence speed to “normal” to see if that makes things… Well, normal.
Despite being at the hospital, Funky receives no treatment for his illness. I couldn’t find an option for treatment anywhere. Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help Funky, and he’s dying. Dr. Aidan does take the time to react to a murder though. Speaking of murder, another serial killer appears at the hospital. This one is called Sapphire Hudson and is “looking for love”. She gets on her motorbike, rides it into someone, running them over, the bike explodes and she goes airborne and lands safely using a parachute. What?
As if things couldn’t get any worse, Patrick Rogers returns. At the same time he returns, someone on a bike rides past, vanishes and an urn appears in their place. I miss when things were boring.
A quick reminder: we’re at a hospital trying to get Funky Kong a surgery to save his life. No matter what I do, nobody is doing Funky’s surgery. I send Funky home, send him back to the hospital without following him and this time the surgery succeeds! Everybody celebrates, including gang members who are fighting down the street. Funky goes to the swimming pool, but he has low energy so he… Starts drowning, the game is determined to kill Funky today. This could easily be solved if there wasn’t also an armed burglar in the house causing everyone to start screaming. Therefore, it’s harder for Graggle to plead to the Grim Reaper because he’s screaming simultaneously. Nevertheless, the plea succeeds and Funky is brought back to life. Funky says “wow, you literally [unnecessary use of the word “literally”] just saved my life! Words can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am! Really, I won’t forget this!”
That was insane, good thing I didn’t forget to record that like I did in the last episode. Oh fuck…
SpongeBob situation update: at some point during all of that, Graggle posted about the kidnapping on social media. It doesn’t change anything really and Graggle gets a threatening message saying “Perhaps your loved one would look better with a few cuts?” I’m not really sure if that’s a threat because, again, I’m pretty sure SpongeBob is already dead. Funky also gets a text at the same time saying “we’ll be in touch soon, call the cops & your loved one is dead!” Still not really a threat. That knowledge guy from earlier is in the house again so Hallie pays him to kill some random sim that appeared in the list. He did so.
I didn’t think he’d actually do it. I don’t know why but I didn’t think he’d actually do it. He runs out of the house covered in blood. I am sure nobody will notice… OK, he runs back in. AND WHY IS THAT NANNY BACK?! Because things weren’t confusing enough, that guy who got killed a moment ago is suddenly alive again. He’s covered in blood and the Grim Reaper seems to still be planning on reaping him, but he is alive… Never mind, he’s dead again. I’m confused too.
The Grim Reaper has turned up so much that he has started using the household TV as his own. Earlier he was using it to watch the news (which weirdly is reporting on a protest, there were climate protests the day this playthrough took place), now he’s watching a horror movie.
Funky attempts to contact SpongeBob, but his phone is still turned off and Funky should wait for the kidnappers to contact him.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
OK so an arsonist has invaded the house now, great. Funny tries to calm the arsonist down, but he doesn’t listen and starts fires in the house. Firefighters quickly appear at the scene to smell the fire. Most of the fires end up being put out by sprinklers and the firefighters run out of the house despite there still being fires. The fire continues to spread and Prince Philip starts walking around in a circle (he’s still in the house for some reason). Funky catches on fire again and the arsonist is nice enough to extinguish Funky. Funky says to him “Ahhhhhhh! Am I still... alive? Oh... I am! I guess you saved me, huh? Thank you so much! Seriously. Yikes. That was close. I owe you big time!” He starts more fires shortly afterwards.
The fire department are long gone at this point so Graggle calls them back and they quickly return. They claim that the fire has been put out, but there is still a fire. They’re called again and the fires are put out, though I didn’t actually see the fire department put out the fires this time so I don’t know who did it.
Later that day, Graggle posts about the kidnapping on social media again, but it still gets no attention. Graggle gets a text from April, she’s “bored” and wants to come over. She’s a ghost and she died in the house so surely she wouldn’t need an invite. Graggle then receives another voice message “HELP PLEASE!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM, I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED” another voice is heard saying “How the fuck did you get your hands on this?!” Same voice message from earlier. Graggle tries again to contact the phone but it’s still switched off.
Graggle contacts the kidnappers himself and is told that they will give SpongeBob back if he pays up $5000 and no one will get hurt. That seems like a lot for someone who is already dead for some reason. Graggle decides to call the police and file a missing person report. This is like looking for Madeleine McCann. The Grim Reaper is watching something on TV again.
After the report, Funky gets a text saying “we’ll be in touch soon, call the cops and your loved one is dead!” Then someone outside gets run over by a car, I don’t know who that was. Then a child walks up to Graggle and makes fun of him. But don’t worry, Prince Philip the raccoon attacks the child’s leg.
2 days after that playthrough, I think the only way to get SpongeBob back is to give the kidnappers money. That sucks but I also don’t know how I’m supposed to continue the series without SpongeBob. I try one more time to report the kidnappers to the police but of course nothing happens, I don’t know why I tried to do that. Let’s just transfer the 5k and… There’s a burglar in the area.
An armed robber breaks into the house so Graggle fights him (to the anger of a cop who doesn’t arrest the robber) and the robber actually leaves the household… TO STEAL STUFF FROM OUTSIDE! He steals a wheelie bin, a bush and a car before Graggle starts fighting him again. The robber doesn’t care and steals a bench. Graggle fights him again. The robber tries to break into the house again, but can’t for some reason. So he leaves.
In some positive news, Funky has recovered from the flu. He could’ve recovered sooner but the option to deal with the flu no longer shows up for me for some reason, very annoying. Funky transfers 5k over to the kidnappers and they call him again… Asking him to bring another 25k to the cave where SpongeBob is. After transferring 5k to the kidnappers, the household only has 16k. Funky goes to the cave anyway.
I guess SpongeBob is still alive.
Two kidnappers appear in the cave while Funky cries over seeing SpongeBob. The kidnappers immediately approach Funky asking him to “run me that money now!” “The clock is ticking, so is [sic] your remaining lives…” “Keep us waiting and we’ll shoot both of you!” “Where’s the money?!” “GIVE US THE FUCKING MONEY!” Funky ignores these demands and is shot by one of the kidnappers. He tries to run off but remains stuck in the cave and is shot dead.
Graggle enters the scene and calls the police. The police do very little and Graggle gives the kidnappers the money they requested to spare SpongeBob. He is not able to spare Funky who has now died. Graggle then goes on a murderous rampage and bashes one of the kidnappers heads in with an axe, cracks the neck of one of the cops, is beaten up by the Grim Reaper and runs over the other cop with a car (and no there was no car in the cave before this murder took place). While Graggle is scrubbing the blood off of him, the other kidnapper appears and puts Graggle in the back of their car (which has also magically appeared). Graggle has now been kidnapped but it’s not clear where he’s been kidnapped to, as both him and SpongeBob are still in the cave. Nevertheless, SpongeBob is told that the kidnappers will be in touch with him soon. SpongeBob tries to call the police but they don’t turn up.
SpongeBob decides to head back home, where the police actually do show up… Graggle also shows up, despite the fact he was kidnapped and I can’t control him. SpongeBob reports Graggle’s kidnapping to the police and then… walks up the road, instead of entering the house he lives in. It’s also a very hot day so SpongeBob is burning to death. SpongeBob continues to walk up the street and is… hit by a car???
How did this happen? Literally seconds before he was hit by a car I noticed that there was another person in the street who had also been hit by a car. What’s going on?!
This is a big problem, SpongeBob is dying and the only people left in the household were him, Hallie and Prince Philip. Also for some reason a cop is doing exercises next to SpongeBob’s dying body. Hallie quickly returns from school and runs to plead for SpongeBob. She pleads and it looks like it might’ve worked, SpongeBob says to Hallie “wow, you literally just saved my life!” I think we’re good.
So… In just one episode, I managed to kill April, Funky and SpongeBob. Graggle is both kidnapped and also not kidnapped. The only members of the household left are Hallie… AND FUCKING PRINCE PHILIP! WHO I ONLY JUST ADDED TO THE FAMILY IN THE FORM OF A RACCOON.
I spend about a minute deciding whether to save and leave it as that or try again.
I decided to try again- oh God, this is already fucked. The serial killers are back. Some vampire turns up to the house as well for some reason. An arsonist starts fires in the house, this is just annoying now. The vampire sees the fires inside the kitchen (how did they get in?) before turning into a bat and flying away.
After a painful 10 minutes of dealing with that, Funky heads back to the cave with the money to bring SpongeBob back home. Funky gives them the money at the first opportunity this time.
SPONGEBOB IS BACK YAY!
Damn it. I wonder if I could use the mod to put them in jail so they’ll stop bothering us.
WAIT NO-
OK, one more try and then we’re done.
Funky is eating some yogurt when he gets a text from the kidnappers saying “maybe we should kidnap another one from your household?” Please don’t, I’ve seen the universe where you do that and it’s not good. Graggle gets a text shortly afterwards saying “I hope you’re rich enough to pay for our request.” We’re not but I’ll just use free money sims 4 cheats 2023 and it’ll be fine. Funky transfers 5k and heads to the cave to transfer another 25k.
A kidnapper immediately says “GIVE US THE FUCKING MONEY!” Funky does so. SpongeBob gets up and the two hug and I get an error message. I think it’s fine though? I send SpongeBob home and he’s immediately playing Uno with himself while Funky, Graggle and Hallie sing to celebrate SpongeBob’s return. 
A happy ending?
==Gallery==
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Category:Episodes
Category:2023
Category:2023 Episodes
Category:The Game of Life
Category:SpongeBot678
Category:Episodes written by SpongeBot678
Category:2020s