Conk Contract/Transcript

Clinko: It’s not like you have a choice. You work for me now.
Comic Book: Maybe so, but if I can help the city of Pendleberry while doing it, then I’ve done my job.
Clinko: Whatever you say.
Clinko points his mic to Paperclip Snake.
Paperclip Snake: I am Paperclip Snake, and I would like to be an author.
Clinko: Wow, it must be really hard to be an author without hands. Actually, it’ll be really hard to do this gameshow without hands. Wow, this’ll be really difficult for you.
Paperclip Snake: But the publicity will be great for book sales!
Clinko approaches Paper Lantern.
Clinko: And just who are you?
Paper Lantern: Wèishéme wǒ zài zhèlǐ? Wǒ méiyǒu yāoqiú zhège. Wǒ xiǎng huí jiā.
Clinko blinks for a moment before putting his microphone on the ground. He pulls out a book titled “The Clinko English-to-Chinese Dictionary”.
Clinko: Shuō... Yīngyǔ... Huò... Wǒ... Huì... Shā sǐ... Nǐ.
Paper Lantern trembles in fear. She stutters out in English:
Paper Lantern: I-I am Paper Lantern. I am afraid of here.
Clinko: You’ll feel right at home.
Clinko gestures the microphone towards Pearly.
Pearly: Uh, hey, I’m… I’m Pearly. I don’t want to be rude, but…
Pearly points to Cat Bell.
Pearly: I’m allergic to cats, and a lot of other things. Her being here… might be a problem?
Cat Bell: That’s really rude of you.
Pearly: I’m sorry!
Clinko points the mic to Keychain.
Keychain: Hi! I’m Keychain. I know I may be small, but I-
Clinko: Your tail’s not magnetic by any chance, is it?
Keychain: Yeah it is, why?
The camera zooms out to reveal Paperclip Snake tangled up in Keychain’s tail.
Keychain: Oh.
Paperclip Snake: Please help me.
Clinko’s face twists in disgust as he apprehensively gestures the mic to Beehive.
Beehive: Hello, I’m Beehive.
Clinko: You’re disgusting, that’s what you are. Why is your face hollow?
Beehive face turns to sadness. She begins stuttering.
Beehive: I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I don’t want to be this way. Please don’t make fun of me.
Bees begin flying out of Beehive’s facial features. They start angrily swarming around Clinko.
Beehive: Oh gosh… oh no…
The disinterested Clinko pulls out a spray can and sprays around him. All the bees fall to the ground. Once they’re all dead he turns to the camera and smiles.
Clinko: Vanquish swarms of bees in seconds! That’s the power of Clinko Bee BeGone!
Clinko winks as Beehive puts her hands over her eyes in distress.
Gucci Flip Flop: I’m gonna pretend like none of that happened, man.
Clinko points the mic to Candy Paint and Gucci Flip Flop.
Clinko: Who are you two?
Candy Paint: I’m Candy Paint, and this is Gucci Flip Flop.
Gucci Flip Flop: Sup.
Candy Paint: Him and I are best friends- isn’t it crazy that we both ended up on this show?!
Clinko: I suspect cheating and I will be calling my detective.
C: That’s assuming anyone joined this show on purpose.
Clinko whistles and a worker chicken comes to zap C with a cattle prod. He falls to the floor. Clinko directs the microphone at Yoyle Book.
Clinko: And you?
Yoyle Book: I’m Yoyle Book, and I farm Yoyleberries! I use Conk to water my crops, so I guess it’s kind of natural that I ended up here. It makes them grow like crazy!
Clinko is already on the phone.
Clinko: Yeah, it makes Yoyleberries grow really fast. You can put it in the commercial? Awesome. Talk to you later.
Clinko puts his phone away and pulls out his microphone. He points it to Flavored Milk Straw.
Clinko: You are?
Oxygen: Hey, you forgot me.
Clinko looks around in confusion.
Clinko: Who said that?
Oxygen: Me. I know, you can’t see me. My name is Oxygen.
Clinko blinks a few times and scratches his head.
Clinko: I’m already a little confused about how objects are born, but sentient oxygen doesn’t make sense to me. Can you even compete?
Oxygen: I was able to buy the can of Conk, so yes.
Clinko: I guess you’re right.
Clinko points the mic to Flavored Milk Straw.
Clinko: Now you.
Flavored Milk Straw: Man, I don’t want to be here! I was travelling. That’s what I do. I was only passing through Pendleberry.
Clinko: Well tough luck, because now you’re here. Your name?
Flavored Milk Straw: Flavored Milk Straw.
Clinko: Thank you. Follow instructions from now on or this will be much worse for you.
Clinko directs the mic at Flamingo Plush.
Clinko: Hello, fellow avian. Isn’t it nice to be the most superior species on Earth?
Flamingo Plush: But I’m not a real Flamingo. I’m just a plush Flamingo.
Clinko: Oh, gross.
Clinko points the mic at Brown Kind Of Flower.
Brown Kind Of Flower: I’m Brown Kind Of Flower.
Clinko: You don’t even know what flower you are? You couldn’t even just call yourself Brown Flower? What’s wrong with you? I’m not even gonna get started on how you’re wearing clothes.
Brown Kind Of Flower: I already am not happy to be here and I feel really attacked right now.
Clinko directs the microphone at Octagon.
Octagon: Hi, I’m Octagon. You might not want to get into why he’s wearing clothes, but I am: Brown Kind Of Flower, why aren’t you wearing clothes?
Brown Kind Of Flower: I get nervous when I’m naked.
Clinko: We’re venturing into territory I never wanted to venture into. I’m moving onto the next person.
Clinko points the mic to Maybe.
Clinko: What’s your deal?
Maybe: My name is Maybe.
Clinko looks exasperated.
Clinko: You’re not a maybe! Whatever you are. Everybody else here as a name that at least describes them, so why is YOUR name Maybe?
Maybe: What, is your name Chicken?
Clinko: The rules are different for objects and animals. Are you a maybe?
Maybe: Maybe.
Clinko: I can already tell I don’t like you.
Clinko gestures the mic to a nervous-looking Daisy Flower.
Daisy Flower: I’m Daisy Flower, and I don’t have enough healing crystals to neutralize these vibes.
Clinko turns his head towards Brown Kind Of Flower.
Clinko: This chick gets the naming thing.
Clinko points the microphone to Milkshake.
Milkshake: Hi, I’m Milkshake! I probably drink more Conk than water, so I’m honored to meet the shifty businessman that peddles it.
Clinko: That’s nice, but what’s up with him?
Clinko points to Strawberry, silently smiling on top of Milkshake. He waves.
Milkshake: He’s never really said anything, but I know that when he does, something extremely powerful is going to happen.
Clinko: Neat!
Clinko points the mic to Doggie Bone.
Clinko: And finally, you.
Doggie Bone: I’m Doggie Bone. One thing about me is that I am coconut flavored.
Clinko: Coconuts aren’t orange, liar. Anyways, that’s everybody introduced! Now it’s time for choosing teams. I could pick the three team captains based on some kind of skill-based challenge, but that would be setting an unrealistic precedent for what the rest of this series is like. Instead, the team captains will be the top three consumers of our products. In third place is Candy Paint thanks to her frequent purchase of our Clinko Toxic Non-Washable Paints.
Gucci Flip Flop: “Toxic Non-Washable”?
Candy Paint: Sure they burn, but are they cheap are what?
Clinko: In second place is Paperclip Snake, as he’s bought every volume of the Clinko Faxx Encyclopedia.
Paperclip Snake: You should make each one longer than five pages.
Clinko: And in first place is Flamingo Plush, due to her repeated purchases of the Clinko Do-It-Yourself Shrimp Kit.
Flamingo Plush: Pendleberry isn’t a coastal city! I have to make my own shrimps if I want to survive.
Clinko: So let’s get to picking teams! Team captains, come over here with me.
Flamingo Plush, Paperclip Snake, and Candy Paint walk over to Clinko, distancing themselves a little from the rest of the contestants.
Clinko: We’ll be going from first to third, so Flamingo Plush, you pick first.
Flamingo Plush: Oh, that’s easy. Doggie Bone!
Doggie Bone, looking confused, comes over to Flamingo Plush’s side.
Doggie Bone: Why me?
Flamingo Plush licks Doggie Bone. She smacks her lips.
Flamingo Plush: He wasn’t lying!
Paperclip Snake “hmms”.
Paperclip Snake: Beehive, I have to admit I feel bad for you. Would you please come on my team?
Beehive perks up a little and comes over to Paperclip Snake’s side. She begins scratching him on the head, and he is visibly pleased.
Beehive: Thank you, Paperclip Snake.
Paperclip Snake: Awww yiss. This is the stuff.
Candy Paint: Gucci Flip Flop!
Gucci Flip Flop walks over to Candy Paint’s side and they high-five.
Flamingo Plush: I don’t know what’s going to happen when Strawberry speaks, but when he does, I want him on my side. Come over here, Milkshake!
Milkshake wanders over to Flamingo Plush’s side, disappointed-looking.
Milkshake: I feel a little overshadowed.
Paperclip Snake is still being scratched by Beehive.
Paperclip Snake: Before I choose, anybody else willing to pet me like this?
Daisy Flower: Anything for a fellow creature of the Earth.
Daisy Flower comes over and starts petting Paperclip Snake with Beehive.
Paperclip Snake: You people are awesome.
Daisy Flower: Just vying for good karma, my friend.
Candy Paint leans over to Gucci Flip Flop.
Candy Paint: It’d be good to get somebody who can fly on the team, right?
Gucci Flip Flop: For sure.
Comic Book overhears their conversation.
Comic Book: Ah, that’s where I come in, for I can fly!
Gucci Flip Flop: Really? You should do it then.
Comic Book jumps. A pang of worry flashes across his face and he begins jumping several more times. He eventually stops.
Comic Book: Uh, this cramped warehouse is limiting my powers.
Candy Paint: Hey, absolutely, buddy. Anyways, we should go for Neon Grassy. I mean, he’s a little radioactive but at least he can speak English.
Gucci Flip Flop: That’s a good point. Come join us, Neon Grassy!
Neon Grassy: Hooray!
Neon Grassy hovers over to Candy Paint and Gucci Flip Flop.
Neon Grassy: If you ever need to go to space let me know!
Candy Paint: Will do.
Flamingo Plush: Hey Flavored Milk Straw, you’re not planning on escaping the competition or anything like that, are you? I could use your street smarts.
Flavored Milk Straw: I wish I could, but travelling is a lot less fun when you’re on the run from the police.
Flamingo Plush: Contracts are hell, aren’t they? Welcome aboard!
Flavored Milk Straw joins Flamingo Plush, Doggie Bone, and Milkshake.
Flamingo Plush: Finally. I have assembled all of the food items.
Milkshake: I feel as if you’re planning something nefarious.
Paperclip Snake considers for a moment.
Paperclip Snake: You know what? I think Paper Lantern could do us some good. Also, our names both have paper. Come join us!
Paper Lantern: Thank you so much snake of paper clips!
Paper Lantern goes to join Paperclip Snake and his team.
Candy Paint: C, I like your attitude. Come join us!
C joins Candy Paint’s team.
C: Hope there’s no hard feelings when I beat you all at the merge.
Flamingo Plush scans her eyes across the unpicked contestants.
Flamingo Plush: As funny as Paperclip Snake and Keychain getting tangled was, keeping Keychain away from the two teams with metal captains is probably a good idea, right? He should join us.
Keychain: I promise I won’t let you down!
Keychain happily goes to join Flamingo Plush’s team.
Paperclip Snake: Well in that case, I better make sure Cat Bell doesn’t end up with Keychain, since she is metal and all. Come with us, Cat Bell!
Cat Bell cheerfully walks over to Paperclip Snake’s team. Upon getting there, her eyes widen and she starts batting Paperclip Snake around with one paw.
Paperclip Snake: Hey, ow, stop that!
Cat Bell: Sorry, sorry! Instinct.
Candy Paint: Well, if Pearly’s allergic to Cat Bell, he probably shouldn’t be on the same team as her. Come join.
Pearly nervously joins Candy Paint’s team.
Pearly: I think I’m allergic to something over here too.
Clinko: You all made choices to help each other’s teams! That was some teamwork right there! I like that synergy. Good for business.
Flamingo Plush: Comic Book, you are a freak. But I like your spirit. Wanna join our team?
Comic Book: Oh, I’m a freak alright. Freaky good at fighting crime!
Flamingo Plush: Whatever. Just come with us.
Comic Book does an enthusiastic jog over to Flamingo Plush’s team. Nobody looks excited to have them there.
Paperclip Snake: Gotta get the metal squad together! Come with us, Yoyle Book.
Yoyle Book: Alright!
Yoyle Book joins Paperclip Snake’s team, smiling.
Paperclip Snake: Have you always been Yoyle Book or were you just a book who ate too many yoyleberries?
Yoyle Book: I’ve been farming them for so long I’m not sure anymore.
Candy Paint looks apprehensive.
Candy Paint: Maybe, I don’t really know what you are, but you seem better than the other picks left. Come with us.
Maybe: I guess someone had to pick me eventually.
Maybe joins Candy Paint’s team.
Flamingo Plush: Brown Kind Of Flower, you clothed freak, come over here.
Brown Kind Of Flower reluctantly joins Flamingo Plush’s team.
Brown Kind Of Flower: I’m going to be laughing my ass off once I’ve won and you all get nothing.
Paperclip Snake: Well, if we really have to, I guess we’ll take Octagon.
Octagon joins Paperclip Snake, disappointed.
Octagon: Why am I the last pick?
Yoyle Book: Probably should’ve introduced yourself with something ABOUT yourself.
Realization flashes across Candy Paint’s face.
Candy Paint: Hey, wait a second! How come the other teams get seven people but I only get six?
Oxygen: I guess you’re forgetting someone.
Candy Paint starts to say something, but turns red as she gets embarrassed.
Candy Paint: Oh… I’m sorry, Oxygen. I didn’t see you.
Oxygen: Of course you didn’t. No one does.
Candy Paint: Come join us, alright? I’m sorry.
Oxygen: I guess I will.
Clinko: And with that, the teams are decided! Before we finally start the first challenge, I’m going to need you guys to come up with some team names.
Flamingo Plush: I choose the Atomic Reapers!
Keychain: Huh? Why?
Flamingo Plush: Because it sounds cool!
Paperclip Snake: It’s safe to say that this team is mostly pacifist, right?
Everybody murmurs in agreement.
Paperclip Snake: Then our name needs to reflect this pacifism! Let’s be the Gentle Warriors.
Octagon: That name is stupid.
Paperclip Snake: Well, I am team captain and you are not, so I’m using it.
Candy Paint: How about the “Mega Moonstones?”
Everybody shrugs and looks indifferent.
Candy Paint: It’s settled then.
Clinko claps his hands together.
Clinko: Alright! It’s time for the first challenge. As you know, Clinko Industries sells just about everything. Unfortunately, our ventures into the tech industry have been a little difficult thanks to the presence of specialty tech retailers in Pendleberry.
A worker chicken rolls in a bulletin board with three photographs pinned to them. Clinko pulls out a pointer and points to the furthest-left image, featuring a home assistant device.
Clinko: A few months ago the Clinko Whyretap hit the market, meant to be a device you could ask questions and order Clinko products with. Unfortunately, Alexis over here has a retail store selling very similar devices, which is bizarre considering she is one. This is a problem for our company, as her devices are MUCH cheaper and it’s interfering with our data collection.
Clinko points to the middle image, featuring a Cucumber.
Clinko: This guy is probably the biggest threat to the Clinko Hole-Punching Printer. As it turns out, people prefer printers that put ink on paper instead of just cutting holes in the shape of the words on your document. No idea why. Anyways, people flock to buy this guy’s printers, and not mine, and that upsets me.
Clinko points to the end picture, which is of a daschund.
Clinko: This guy… now THIS guy infuriates me. Arthur Nelsec. It’s funny. Every time I release a product, this guy releases an inferior version in his tech store for a cheaper price. Even stamps it with the “Nelsec Seal of Quality”. I could’ve just squeezed all of his money away with a lawsuit, but I thought saving the issue for this show would be much, much funnier.
Clinko puts his pointer away.
Clinko: The most optimal move for me is buying these businesses and razing their stores, that way the land can be transformed into space to sell more Clinko-brand products. But people like these are proud of being independent business owners, and they’re certainly not gonna take whatever meager price I offer them. But say, if some terrible, reputation-damaging disaster were to happen, they’d be willing to take a lower offer to try and recoup their losses, right?
The contestants nod.
Clinko: I’m glad you get it! Anyways, your challenge today is to cause catastrophe for these business owners. Whichever team does the poorest in doing so, will be up for elimination. The Reapers will be handling Alexis, the Warriors will be taking Cucumber, and the Moonstones will be having A. Nelsec’s. And for today’s challenge, you are entitled to use any product stored here in the Clinko Warehouse!
Three chickens in yellow construction hats stroll into frame.
Clinko: These three are Carpus, Clement, and Clopas- they’ll be your personal guides as of now in guiding you around the warehouse and helping you pick out what you’ll be using. Anyways, that’s all I have for you- get to it!
The three teams wander in different directions with their respective chicken guides. The shot cuts to the Reapers, wandering past a number of other chickens wearing construction hats with Carpus.
Doggie Bone: Clinko comes off as… money hungry?
Carpus: You had to meet him in person to infer that? There’s a Clinko product practically around every corner in Pendleberry, he may as well own the place. But hey, I’m not here to question authority, I’m here to get paid.
Flamingo Plush: Fine by me! Do you have any ideas on what we could use to take out Alexis?
Carpus: Anything specific you had in mind?
Flamingo Plush: Fire! Fire, definitely fire. I love fire.
Carpus looks slightly unsettled, as do the other members of the team.
Carpus: Oookay. Anyways, I think I have the perfect thing for you…
Carpus takes a turn towards the back of the warehouse, the Reapers following him closely. He eventually arrives to a box on the bottom of a shelf by the back wall and pulls it out.
Carpus: This is definitely one of our… how do you say, less sold products.
Carpus opens the box, which is full of tubes that resemble bluetooth speakers. They are shown to have keyboards on their side.
Flavored Milk Straw: What is that, a speaker?
Carpus: No, it’s the Clinko Voice-Activated Firestarter. You type in whatever phrase you want to activate the flame, and the fire will start. Unfortunately, Clinko is more inclined to take the cheaper route for manufacturing than the safer one, so instead of a small flame coming out of the top, the thing shoots a fireball straight upwards. We had most of them converted into Whyretaps just because they were so impractical and dangerous.
Carpus places the Firestarter in Flamingo Plush’s hands.
Carpus: Now I’m not suggesting you kill anybody with this thing, but if you were to cause a little structural damage to Alexis’ store it’d ultimately be for the greater good, wouldn’t it? And remember…
Carpus pulls out a twenty and hands it to Flamingo Plush.
Carpus: If the law comes down on this place you never spoke to me.
Carpus turns around and starts walking away. The shot cuts to the Warriors with Clement, who has a vegetable slicer in hand. He says in an Eastern European accent:
Clement: You want vegetable slicer?
Paperclip Snake: No!
Clement: He is vegetable, brother! He is meant for slicing!
Daisy Flower: We’re trying to be nonviolent, Clement.
Clement shakes his head.
Clement: You are no fun. But hey, vegetable sells printers, right? I have thing for you.
Clement grabs a box off of a shelf and opens it up. He pulls out what looks like a paper shredder on wheels.
Clement: Clinko Office DeClutterer is what you need! Using Clinko patented Paper Magnet, it sucks in all files like vacuum and shreds them up. Best of all, it use AI to find paper, so no work yourself. Very popular with office firing people or lawyer hiding evidence.
Cat Bell: Clement, that is great and all, but it looks very heavy even on wheels. How can we easily bring it with us?
Clement: I give string!
The shot pans over to Clopas, eagerly listening to a story C is telling.
C: And the cat’s wagon fell right off the cliff!
Clopas laughs.
Clopas: That is an excellent story, sir! Say, is there anything I can get you folks pertaining to that challenge?
Candy Paint: Well, I have a question, actually. Is Arthur himself gonna be at the store?
Clopas: Funny you asked, actually…
Clopas takes a quick look at his clipboard.
Clopas: From what it looks like, he’s holding some kind of press conference at his store today! Answering questions to journalists and whatnot. I’d say that puts you in a ripe opportunity to thoroughly embarrass him.
Gucci Flip Flop: Oooh, that makes this a lot easier for us. Any product you’d suggest we use?
Clopas: Well, I’d say you should take advantage of the fact he’s an animal and not an object. So I would definitely recommend…
Clopas takes a box off the wall and opens it up. He takes out a bottle of pills that’s inside.
Clopas: The Clinko Hemorrhoid Horticulture!
Oxygen: What in the world is a Hemorrhoid Horticulture?
Clopas: Biological creatures just have to take one of these pills to develop ravaging and painful hemorrhoids in seconds! We initially developed it to help people escape social obligations, but who’s to say you couldn’t slip it to Arthur while he’s up on stage?
Neon Grassy: What will they think of next?
Clopas hands the bottle of pills to Candy Paint.
Clopas: Arthur’s press conference is beginning pretty soon, so you’d better get out there.
Candy Paint: Alright! Thanks Clopas!
The shot cuts to the Mega Moonstones leaving through the front door of the warehouse to the parking lot. Pendleberry can be seen in the distance.
Candy Paint: Looks like the other two teams have already left for Pendleberry… I hope we’re not late!
Gucci Flip Flop: Say, Neon Grassy, how many people can you carry while you’re flying?
Neon Grassy: I’m sorry guys, I can only carry five people at a time. I can’t bring you all.
Oxygen: I don’t weigh anything, so I don’t really think I count.
Neon Grassy: Oh, okay. Hop on, guys!
Everybody clings on to Neon Grassy and he begins to fly towards Pendleberry. The shot cuts to the Atomic Reapers, travelling down the sidewalk on the road to Pendleberry. Keychain looks up as the Mega Moonstones whiz by.
Keychain: Uh, guys? Look up there!
Everyone stops and looks up at the Moonstones. Flamingo Plush stomps her foot in anger.
Flamingo Plush: Ack! They’re gonna be way ahead of us!
Flavored Milk Straw: So what? The challenge is about how big the disaster is, not who does it first.
Flamingo Plush: If they cause a really big disaster, it’s gonna cause a lot of panic, and then what we do becomes a lot harder! Alexis might even close up shop for the day! Then what do we do?
Doggie Bone: I appreciate your concern about it, but I don’t think there’s much we can do, Flamingo Plush.
Flamingo Plush’s eyes squint as she looks at the lane of cars going towards Pendleberry.
Flamingo Plush: Oh, there’s something we can do, alright.
Flamingo Plush picks up Keychain, grabbing his body with one hand and his tail with the other.
Keychain: What are you doing?!
Flamingo Plush: Everyone grab on to me!
Everyone grabs onto Flamingo Plush, with the exception of Flavored Milk Straw, who Milkshake picks up with her other arm.
Flamingo Plush: Hold on tight!
Flamingo Plush swings around Keychain’s tail like a lasso before throwing it at a passing car. The team gets jerked forward onto the road, bouncing off onto the roof of the car.
Brown Kind Of Flower: Please never do that again.
Milkshake: You okay, little buddy?
Strawberry waves to Milkshake, not having changed expression at all.
Flamingo Plush: Quit whining, you wusses. Let’s just sit back, and ride the road to Pendleberry.
Flavored Milk Straw: We should probably help up Keychain first though, right?
The frame pans down to reveal Keychain being dragged behind the car, still attached to it by his tail. The shot cuts to the Gentle Warriors, walking along the sidewalk to Pendleberry. Octagon is seen pulling the Office DeClutterer along by a string.
Octagon: This sucks.
The shot cuts to the Moonstones hanging on Neon Grassy. Candy Paint pulls out a map.
Candy Paint: According to the map, Arthur’s store should be right down there!
Neon Grassy swoops down in front of a store with a sign that says “A. Nelsec’s Tech Emporium”. Everybody hops off of him and looks through the window. Countless reporters are watching as Arthur speaks to the crowd.
Pearly: I really need glasses... is he up there?
Candy Paint: Yup! Now we just gotta figure out how to give one of these to him.
Candy Paint looks down of the bottle of pills. C points at something behind where everyone is facing.
C: Over there!
The team turns around to see a gas station, with a Clinko-branded vending machine out in front.
C: One of us just has to pretend to be an employee, and slip him a water bottle laced with the pill.
Candy Paint: That’s genius! Maybe, go over and buy a water bottle from that vending machine.
Maybe: Do I have to?
Candy Paint: Yes.
Maybe is unresponsive for a moment.
Maybe: Why?
Candy Paint: Come on, man. Just go do it.
Maybe: I guess if I have to…
Maybe goes over to the gas station vending machine and pulls out a dollar. He slips it in and selects a water. A “Dusana”-branded bottle of water comes out and he brings it back to the team.
Maybe: Alright, here you go.
Candy Paint opens the bottle of pills and slips one into the water bottle.
Candy Paint: Alright, everybody act inconspicuous as we’re going inside.
The team enters A. Nelsec’s Tech Emporium, where Arthur Nelsec is delivering a speech to the crowd of journalists. Candy Paint whispers to Neon Grassy:
Candy Paint: You can get through the crowd easily. Give him the water bottle!
Neon Grassy: Okey doke!
Neon Grassy takes the bottle and flies up on stage to where Arthur Nelsec is seen on a stool behind a podium. He offers Arthur the bottle of water.
Neon Grassy: A water bottle, sir?
Arthur Nelsec: Of course. Thank you, loyal employee!
Arthur Nelsec takes the bottle water with his mouth, tilts his head back, and swallows it all in one gulp. Neon Grassy flies back to his team.
Oxygen: And now we wait.
Arthur Nelsec: Anyways, no, donating to starving children is not in my best interest. Next question!
A press hat raises his hand.
Arthur Nelsec: Yes, you, the fedora.
Press Hat: How do you feel about the allegations that your products are inferior clones of the ones created by Clinko Industries?
Arthur Nelsec chuckles to himself. He starts to say something, but pain flashes across his face.
Arthur Nelsec: Oh my GOD!
Nelsec falls off his stool onto the floor, screaming. Numerous journalists begin taking photos as he writhes around in pain.
Arthur Nelsec: AAAAaAAAaaaaAaaaAAGHHH! What the HELL is happening? I’ve never felt such pain!
A newspaper bag busts through the door. He takes a newspaper out of himself and shows the front page, yelling:
Newspaper Bag: Extra, extra! Hear all about it! Ripoff business owner recoils in fear when the products he steals are mentioned to him! Coward AND a liar!
Gucci Flip Flop: Well, looks like our job is done.
Pearly: Let’s get out of here, I feel claustrophobic.
The Mega Moonstones leave A. Nelsec’s Tech Emporium. The shot cuts to the Atomic Reapers across the street from Alexis’ Home Assistant Shop. Flamingo Plush is seen holding the Clinko Voice-Activated Firestarter.
Comic Book: This all feels villainous to me.
Flamingo Plush: Cool! Anyways, what phrase should we set?
Doggie Bone: You say Alexis to ask it a question, right? If we set it to that, it’s bound to go off eventually.
Flamingo Plush: Good idea!
Flamingo Plush types in the word “Alexis” and hands the device to Brown Kind Of Flower.
Flamingo Plush: Alright! Brown Kind Of Flower, you go in and leave this inside.
Brown Kind Of Flower: And what am I gonna do when she questions me holding this?
Flamingo Plush: Just say it’s one of her devices and you need it repaired!
Brown Kind Of Flower: Whatever you say.
Brown Kind Of Flower crosses the street and enters the store. Alexis is waiting behind the counter.
Alexis: Hey! What can I get you?
Brown Kind Of Flower: Hey, I need you to repair my Alexis-
The firestarter immediately shoots out a huge fireball, exploding and setting the whole store on fire. Brown Kind Of Flower is immediately set ablaze. The Reapers watch from across the street.
Milkshake: Moron!
Flamingo Plush: Hey, whatever. At least we’ve won!
Alexis stumbles out of the burning building. She pulls out a smartphone and dials 911.
Alexis: 911! My store is on fire!
Flamingo Plush panics as the sound of fire engine sirens go off.
Flamingo Plush: If the store gets put out it’s only a minor incident! Come on guys, we have to stop the fire department!
Everybody follows after Flamingo Plush as she hurriedly runs towards the sound of the firetruck. The shot cuts to the Gentle Warriors across the street from Cucumber’s store, named Printer Palace.
Paperclip Snake: Alright. Let’s go in and talk to him.
The Gentle Warriors start walking towards the Printer Palace. Octagon follows with the Office Declutterer, but Paperclip Snake stops him.
Paperclip Snake: Wait! Octagon, we need you to wait out here to turn on the machine while one of us holds the door open. And whatever you do, make sure nothing happens to the Office DeClutterer! Think you can do that for us?
Octagon: Fine, I guess.
Octagon crosses his arms as the rest of the team enters the Printer Palace. The Office DeClutterer sits behind him, out of his line of sight. The shot cuts back to the Reapers, hurriedly running on the sidewalk.
Flavored Milk Straw: There it is!
The fire truck is seen barreling through the street. Flamingo Plush looks around and picks up a discarded glass bottle next to a trash can behind her. She jumps out in front of the fire truck and it grinds to a halt. The Fire Hat in the driver’s seat leans out the window and yells:
Fire Hat: Move out of the way, citizen! We have a fire to put out!
Flamingo Plush runs up to the driver’s seat and opens the door. She smashes open the bottle and threatens Fire Hat with it.
Flamingo Plush: Out of the truck or I’ll cut you open!
The fire hat puts his hands up and steps out of the truck. Flamingo Plush gets in the driver’s seat and pushes a fire axe out of the passenger’s seat and onto the street. She calls out to the rest of the team:
Flamingo Plush: Everybody in!
Everybody gets into the truck, crammed up in the passenger seat.
Keychain: Now Flamingo Plush, I want you to remember that winnin-
Flamingo Plush steps on the gas and the truck shoots forward. Everybody begins screaming as the firetruck begins swerving around.
Flamingo Plush: We’re still by Alexis’ store, right?
Doggie Bone: Yeah! Whyhy does it matter?!?
Flamingo Plush: You’ll see!
Flamingo Plush makes a sharp right turn, swerving. Everybody screams once again. She starts driving down a straight road, seeing Octagon waiting with the Office DeClutterer.
Flamingo Plush: Hey, I know him!
Flamingo Plush hits the Office DeClutterer with the fire truck, sending it flying and destroying it. Octagon doesn’t notice at all. The fire truck continues down the street.
Octagon: Man, this is boring.
Daisy Flower opens the door and Paperclip Snake bursts out of it.
Paperclip Snake: The DeClutterer! Turn it on! Quick!
Octagon turns around, and suddenly realizes that the DeClutterer is not there.
Octagon: Wha… I…
Paperclip Snake: Seriously?! You only had one job to do!
Octagon: I swear it was there a second ago!
Paper Lantern floats through the door.
Paper Lantern: You are shame to our team!
Octagon: Ah, crap.
The shot cuts back to the Reapers in the fire truck. Everyone is screaming but Flamingo Plush as she drives ridiculously fast. She spots the burning Alexis’ Home Assistant Shop, Alexis fretting outside of it.
Flamingo Plush: Here we gooooo!
Everybody screams even louder as Flamingo Plush swerves towards the store. She drives straight into it, running over Alexis and causing the building to collapse. The fire truck explodes in a fiery blaze. The shot zooms out to reveal Clinko watching on a monitor.
Clinko: So the Atomic Reapers and the Mega Moonstones are safe! The Gentle Warriors, on the other hand, are up for elimination. Vote for any one of these seven people.
Beehive
Cat Bell
Daisy Flower
Octagon
Paperclip Snake
Paper Lantern
Yoyle Book
Clinko: Voting will end November 14th, and I will see you next time!
The shot cuts to the seven members of the Reapers, ascending to a beautiful landscape comprised of clouds. A number of Pygmy Marmosets are seen flying around. A pygmy marmoset with wings and a robe flies in.
Marmoset Angel: Welcome to Heaven!
Flamingo Plush: Crap. I hate this place.
Marmoset Angel: Fear not, objects! You may have died, but you are free of the suffering that you endured on earth. Would you like me to guide you to the Ice Cream Pool or the Jellybean Cloud?
Doggie Bone: Thanks for the warm welcome, but we’re probably just gonna be revived in a moment anywa-
The seven members disappear in a poof. The angel looks sad.
Marmoset Angel: Why does no one ever want to stay here?
Category:Transcripts