Slenderstuck: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT

Act I
You are a Proxy named Csliacas. You work for Slender Inc as the director of Human Resources. Your favorite activities are riffing on bad movies, going to Subway and talking to The Operator and making stupid terrible policies that make everyone at your workplace want to vomit. Your co-workers tend to dislike you for the stupid rules.
Tomorrow a new guy is coming. You need to give him a tour of the workplace. You check your oddlog and you have a chat with The Operator. 
csiprox: hey
slendermender: hello
csiprox: am i goin to get paid 4 the tour
slendermender: hahahaha no
csiprox: y not
slendermender: u get money for real work that isn't real work
csiprox: bleh
After your chat, you go to bed. You dream about a man throwing corpses off a boat. 
You wake up and get dressed in your best suit. The new guy is a man who refers himself as "Masky". You think that's an odd name. He tells you not to touch his mask. 
You tell him about how you think this job is hell and that he should've gotten a better job. He runs off, probably to quit. You don't see him for a while.
"Smooth moves, Csliacas!" you think. You do your work sugessting the next rule: "Employees must wear olive-colored hats from now on. If you break this rule, you will be exterminated." The Operator likes it.
Lunch! Everyone gives this look at you that tells you "Please, please, please go jump into a ditch." Apparentally word got around the building that you came up with the rule, which makes people more annoyed at you than they normally are.
At one point, a person comes up and dragon-kicks you in the head. You decide to go home and wait for the controversy to calm down.