The Blue Tuna

==Characters==
Nat PetersonShubieSusieBaby BillyPilarCharlie (debut)Tina-FranHaroldNancy Suzy FishFrankIsabelSadie RechidFredTomMartha SmithMabelLennySmall BillyEvelynTall BillySallySally's DaughterTylerTaylorMonroeTommy RechidShellyClayton (flashback)Dullsville Players (flashback)Mailfish
==Transcript==
(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie and Pilar helping Harold pack his boat) Nat closes Harold's trunk.
Shubie: "Well that's the last suitcase Harold! Good luck at your science fair!"
Pilar: "Yeah, good luck Harold! I don't get why you still compete in science fairs though. Didn't we all stop doing science fairs in middle school?" Harold laughs.
Harold: "Don't be so naive, Pilar! True scientists never stop competing in science fairs! We must compete every year in order to showcase our talents and prove that we are worthy of being scientists! I just hope I do better than when I finished in last place last year. Even the little girl with the baking soda volcano finished ahead of me."
Nat: "I'm sure you'll do great Harold. Have a nice time at the fair!" Harold gets in his boat and drives away. Tina-Fran walks past Nat, Pilar and Shubie in a hurry. Tina looks at her watch.
Tina: "Where is he?! He should be here any minute!"
Pilar: "Woah, what has you in such a rush Tina?"
Tina: "My new boyfriend is coming today."
Shubie: "New boyfriend? Oooo! Who's the lucky guy?" The mailfish drives past them.
Tina: "Oh! There he is!" Tina chases after the mailboat. 
Nat: "Tina's dating the mailfish?" The mailfish parks his boat in front of Tina's house. Tina jumps up and down excitedly. Nat, Pilar and Shubie walk over to Tina's house.
Shubie: "You're dating the mailfish, Tina?"
Tina: "What? No, he's not my boyfriend." The mailfish takes a large box out of his boat and pushes it towards Tina.
Mailfish: "Package for Tina?"
Tina: "That's me!"
Shubie: "Wait so if you're not dating the mailfish then who is your new boyfriend?"
Tina: "He's in this box, silly! I ordered a boyfriend-in-a-box last week and he finally came in today! Oh, I can't wait to meet my new boyfriend!"
Nat: "Wait, so Tina ordered her boyfriend through the mail?" Shubie and Pilar shrug. Tina opens the box and a large tuna fish appears.
Charlie: "Tina?"
Tina: "Charlie? You're even bigger than I thought you'd be!" Tina's eyes turn into hearts.
Nat: "Wait a minute, Charlie? Is that…"
Charlie: "Nat Peterson? You're neighbors with Tina? That's awesome! I remember blocking for you when you were the starting running back at Bikini Bottom High!"
Pilar: "And don't forget that I was the starting quarterback!" Charlie laughs.
Charlie: "Barely! You rarely threw a pass for more than 10 yards! Our team would've been awful without Nat! He was the star player!"
Nat: "Hey I never would've set the rushing record without you blocking for me! Remember that game against Dullsville our senior year? No one could block like you did."
(Scene cuts to a flashback of Nat's Bikini Bottom High School team playing in a game against Dullsville)
Pilar: "Alright guys, bring it in!" The players gather around Pilar.
Clayton: "What's the play, Pilar?"
Pilar: "You already know what the play is, Clayton! I'm gonna give the ball to Nat and he's gonna score. Now let's kick some Dullsville butt." Bikini Bottom walks up to the line of scrimmage. Charlie smirks at Dullsville's defensive linemen. One of the linemen gulps.
Pilar: "Hut, hut, hike!" Charlie snaps the ball to Pilar. Pilar hands the ball to Nat. Charlie knocks down three defensive linemen at the same time. Nat runs down the field and scores.
Announcer: "Bikini Bottom scores again! Nat Peterson scores his 8th touchdown today as Bikini Bottom leads 56 to 7 over Dullsville!"
(Flashback ends) Charlie laughs.
Charlie: "I almost forgot about that game!Those Dullsville dorks didn't know what hit 'em! We had such a great team that year. If only you hadn't broken your leg in the state championship, Nat. That trophy would've been ours."
Nat: "Yeah, we sure did have a great team that season."
Charlie: "Oh, I think I just dropped a nickel. Pilar, could you pick it up for me?"
Pilar: "Sure." Pilar bends down to pick up the nickel. Charlie turns around and farts in his face. Charlie and Nat start laughing.
Pilar: "Ewwww! What the heck Charlie?!"
Charlie: "Classic! You always fell for that one in high school!" Nat and Charlie continue to laugh.
Tina: "Well that's enough about your old football days, boys. Why don't I show you my home Charlie? I just know you'll love living here." Tina and Charlie walk into Tina's house. Nat, Shubie and Pilar walk away.
Nat: "It's so great that Charlie came back to Bikini Bottom! He was such a great guy in high school."
Shubie: "Great guy? Huh, I always remembered him as a bit of a jerk."
(Scene cuts to a flashback of Shubie walking down a hallway in high school) Nat runs up to her.
Nat: "Hey Shubie! I heard you came in first in your cross country meet yesterday."
Shubie: "Oh you already knew I won, Nat. You were there. Thanks again for coming to the race." Shubie opens her locker.
Nat: "You're welcome! I hope you heard me cheering for you!"
Shubie: "Of course I did. You were the loudest one there! It would've been hard not to hear you." Shubie and Nat laugh.
Nat: "Yeah. Well anyway, I heard the fall dance is coming up and I was wondering…" Shubie smiles.
Shubie: "Nat, you already know my answer is yes. We've been dating for five months now. Now, let me get to class. You're going to make me late for calculus."
Nat: "Okay. See you there! I'll save you a seat, Shubie!" Nat runs off to class. Shubie laughs and grabs some books out of her locker. Charlie walks down the hallway. Evelyn walks up to him.
Evelyn: "Hi handsome! I heard the school dance is coming up and I was wondering if maybe…"
Charlie: "Ew! Get away from me braceface! No one wants to hold your big, ugly fins at the dance. Go ask a geek to take you." Evelyn runs away crying. Shubie frowns.
(Flashback ends)
Nat: "Nah Charlie was a great guy! He always had my back on the football field. He was a very reliable teammate. We all knew we could count on him." 
Pilar: "Yeah, except when he would fart in my face." Shubie shrugs.
Shubie: "Ok. Well if you think he's a great guy, Nat, then I'm sure he must be."
(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie and Pilar relaxing at Goo Lagoon while Susie and Baby Billy play in the sand)
Shubie: "Ah, nothing like a relaxing day at the beach!"
Nat: "You said it Shubie!" 
Pilar: "Thanks again for inviting me to the beach with you guys."
Nat: "Of course, Pilar! That's what best friends are for!" Charlie and Tina walk onto the beach.
Shubie: "Hey is that Charlie and Tina?" Charlie and Tina approach them.
Tina: "Hi Nat! Hi Shubie! Hi Pilar! Funny seeing you guys here! Do you mind if we sit with you?"
Nat: "Of course you can!" Charlie grabs Pilar and gives him a noogie.
Charlie: "How's it going guys!"
Pilar: "Ow! Charlie, your hurting me." Charlie let’s go of Pilar. Charlie and Tina set up their beach chairs and sit down.
Charlie: "Hey Nat, I brought a football. Would you guys like to throw it around in the sand?"
Nat: "I'd love to!" Charlie, Nat and Pilar get out of their chairs and begin to throw the football to each other. Pilar throws the ball to Nat but the ball lands in the sand before it reaches him. Charlie starts laughing.
Charlie: "Ha! I told you he couldn't throw for more than ten yards!"
Pilar: "Oh yeah? Watch this. Nat, go long!" Pilar grabs the ball. Nat runs down the beach. Pilar throws the ball as hard as he can. The ball sails over Nat's head and crashes into Tall Billy's sandcastle.
Tall Billy: "Mom! They ruined my sandcastle!" Evelyn walks over to Pilar, Nat and Charlie.
Evelyn: "My son spent all day working on that sandcastle you jerk!" Evelyn punches Pilar in the face. Pilar falls onto the ground and starts seeing stars. Evelyn walks away. 
Nat: "You okay, Pilar?" Charlie laughs.
Charlie: "You were never very accurate either! And you just got beat up by a girl!" Charlie laughs. Pilar groans.
(Scene cuts to Nat and Pilar at the basketball courts in the park) Charlie runs over to them.
Charlie: "Hey Nat! Hey Pilar! Funny running into you guys here!"
Nat: "Hey Charlie! You wanna play some basketball with us?"
Charlie: "I'd love to!" Tom and Fred walk up to them. 
Tom: "Hey, you guys want to play a little 2 on 2 versus me and Fred?"
Pilar: "Sure!"
Nat: "Let's do it! Hey Charlie, you wanna be on my team?"
Charlie: "You bet!"
Pilar: "Wait, what about me?"
Nat: "Oh sorry, Pilar. It's a 2 on 2 so you'll have to sit out. Maybe you can sub in for one of us if we get tired." Nat, Charlie, Fred and Tom run over to another court to play a 2 on 2 game. Pilar sits on a bench by himself.
(Scene cuts to Pilar sitting on the bench later that day) Nat and Charlie walk over to him.
Charlie: "That was a great game Nat! We really showed those two who's boss!"
Nat: "Yeah we did! It's a shame Fred got hurt though."
Fred: "MY LEG!"
Charlie: "Yeah that sucks for him. Anyway, one of Tina's coworkers gave her a pass for. free round of golf at the country club tomorrow. We were wondering if you and Shubie wanted to join us?"
Nat: "We'd love to!"
Charlie: "Great!"
Pilar: "But Nat, we were supposed to go see that new movie at Reef Cinema tomorrow."
Nat: "Oh yeah. Well I'm sure we can see it another time. It's not like they're only playing it once."
Pilar: "Yeah I guess that's true. So do you guys wanna play some more basketball?"
Nat: "Oh sorry, Pilar. We're actually pretty exhausted from playing against Tom and Fred."
Charlie: "Yeah we were going really hard out there." Nat looks at his watch.
Nat: "Plus it's getting late. Shubie will probably be done with dinner soon. I think we should probably head home now."
Pilar: "Oh ok." Nat, Pilar and Charlie walk over to the parking lot.
Charlie: "Hey Nat, do you want a ride home?"
Nat: "Sure!"
Pilar: "Can I get a ride too?"
Charlie: "Oh, uh, my boat only has enough room for two people. Sorry Pilar." Charlie and Nat get in Charlie's boat and drive away. Pilar sighs.
(Scene cuts to Pilar kicking a can down the street the next day) Pilar sees Nat, Shubie, Charlie and Tina standing in front of Nat's house across the street.
Tina: "Thanks for having us over for dinner! That pasta was delicious!"
Shubie: "Oh thank you! And thanks for inviting us to play golf with you! We should all get together more often."
Nat: "Definitely! This was so much more fun than watching a movie with Pilar!"
Charlie: "I bet! It's so boring hanging around that guy." Pilar gasps.
Pilar: "Charlie thinks I'm boring? I am not boring! And going to see that movie would have been lots more fun than going golfing. Who even likes golf? Oh so Charlie thinks he can steal my spot as Nat's best friend, huh? Well that's not happening! And I'll make sure of it." Pilar laughs evilly.
Tina: "I was just shocked that Shubie was such a good golfer. Who knew?"
Shubie: "Oh, I just got a little lucky today." Nat, Shubie, Charlie and Tina laugh. 
Tina: "Well we'd better get home. Thanks again for having us over guys!" Tina and Charlie start walking towards their house.
Pilar: "Oh no! Charlie and Tina are headed this way! I can't let them see me." Pilar jumps into a bush so that Charlie and Tina won't see him. Pilar watches Charlie and Tina walk by.
Pilar: "Look at Charlie. He thinks he's so cool just because he's big and strong and was better than me at sports. Well I'm sure he doesn't know what Nat's favorite color is! Or what he did for his 28th birthday! Or what high school he went to! Oh wait, actually he definitely knows that one. Well I'm sure he doesn't know Nat as well as I do!" Tina and Charlie notice Nancy and Frank setting up birthday decorations at their house.
Nancy: "What do you mean you can't make it tomorrow? It's my daughter's birthday! Do you know who you're speaking to? Don't you ever ask me to give you a loan again!" Nancy hangs up the phone. Tina and Charlie walk toward their house.
Tina: "Hi Nancy!"
Nancy: "Hey Tina."
Tina: "Have you met my new boyfriend, Charlie?"
Nancy: "Charlie? Is that Charlie from high school? I didn't know you two were dating!"
Charlie: "Nancy Suzy Fish? Is that you? Wow, you look a lot different from high school! I didn't know you were married to Frank. He was quite the receiver back in the day."
Frank: "Hey I never would've gotten the ball so much without your great blocking." Charlie laughs.
Charlie: "Yeah I guess I was quite a good blocker."
Nancy: "Oh I'm so happy for you, Tina! So what does Charlie do for a living?"
Tina: "He's a magician."
Nancy: "A magician huh? Hmmm… I desperately need to find an entertainer for Isabel's birthday tomorrow. How would Charlie like to perform a magic show? I'll pay him $30."
Charlie: "I'd love to!"
Nancy: "Great! Well we'd better finish setting up the decorations. See you tomorrow!" Tina and Charlie walk away.
Pilar: "Huh, Nancy and Frank are throwing a birthday party for Isabel tomorrow? Susie must be invited which means Nat and Shubie will definitely be there. I've got to sabotage that magic show. Then when Charlie embarrasses himself and looks like an idiot, I'll be Nat's #1 best friend again! It's full proof!" Pilar laughs maniacally. Sadie walks over to the bush.
Sadie: "Ugh, I told Fred to wash the bushes before he played basketball yesterday. Why do I always have to do everything myself? If only I was married to Nat." Sadie sprays her bush with a hose.
Pilar: “GAHHHHH!"
(Scene cuts to Nancy, Frank and Charlie setting up Isabel's birthday party the next day) Frank walks over to Nancy carrying a box filled with fireworks.
Frank: "Those fireworks you ordered just came in."
Nancy: "Great! Put them near the back fence. We'll light them at the end of the party." Frank puts the fireworks next to the fence. Pilar pops up from behind the fence. 
Pilar: "Fireworks? That gives me an idea!" Pilar climbs the fence and grabs a big firework. Pilar sneaks over to the stage that Charlie is setting up. Pilar climbs on top of the lights so that Charlie won't see him.
Charlie: "Perfect! Now that I have my smokescreen set up I'll easily be able to perform my vanishing act. I'll just turn on the smokescreen and climb into this trapdoor to disappear. Then I'll turn on the smokescreen again and get out of the trapdoor to reappear!"
Pilar: "Vanishing act, huh? That'll be perfect. No one will see me behind the smokescreen so when Charlie reappears I'll hook this firework to him and send him flying around the birthday party! Then when he crashes he'll embarrass himself so badly that Nat won't want to be friends with him anymore!"
(Scene cuts to the Peterson’s arriving at Isabel's birthday party)
Shubie: "Hi Nancy! Hi Frank!"
Nancy: "Hi Shubie! So glad you guys could make it!"
Nat: "Of course! Here's a present for Isabel." Nat hands Nancy a present.
Nancy: "Thank you! Feel free to get some snacks over at the snack table. We'll be serving pizza after the magic show." Susie runs off to play pin the tail on the seahorse with the other children. Nat and Shubie head over to the snack table and see Sally holding a gigantic trophy.
Nat: "My Sally, that's a really big trophy. What'd you get that for?"
Sally: "Oh, I got it for coming in first place in the annual science fair."
Shubie: "Oh wow! Congratulations Sally! That must mean Harold's back. How did he do?"
Sally: "He came in last place. It stinks really. That's the third year in a row." Sally grabs a cookie and walks away. Tina walks over to Nat and Shubie. 
Tina: "Hi Nat! Hi Shubie!"
Shubie: "Hi Tina! Funny seeing you here. I thought only fish who have kids Isabel's age were invited."
Tina: "Oh I'm just here to support Charlie. His magic show will be starting soon."
Nancy: "Attention everyone! It's time for the magic show!" Everyone gathers around the stage. The curtains open and Charlie appears. 
Charlie: "Hey kids! Welcome to Charlie's magic show! For my first trick I'll be pulling a seabunny out of a hat!" Charlie takes off his hat and pulls out a seabunny. The crowd cheers.
Charlie: "Has anyone seen the birthday girl? There she is! Come up on stage Isabel!" Isabel climbs onto the stage.
Charlie: "Say Isabel, I think you have something behind your ear."
Isabel: "What?" Charlie reaches behind her ear and pulls out a quarter.
Charlie: "It's a quarter! Here you go Isabel." Charlie gives Isabel the quarter. The crowd cheers. Isabel climbs down from the stage.
Charlie: "For my next trick I'll make this table disappear." Charlie covers a table with a cloth. Charlie removes the cloth and the table disappears. The crowd cheers.
Shubie(whispers to Nat): "Wow, Charlie's a pretty good magician. The kids are really entertained right now."
Charlie: "Now that you've seen a table disappear, how 'bout I make myself disappear!" A smokescreen covers the stage. Charlie opens a trap door and climbs into it. The smoke clears and Charlie can't be seen. The crowd cheers. The smokescreen covers the stage again.
Pilar: "It's showtime!" Pilar jumps down from the lights and hooks the firework onto Charlie's shorts as he climbs out of the trapdoor. Pilar climbs back up the lights.
Charlie: "Tada!" The crowds cheers.
Charlie: "And for my next trick…"
Pilar: "Oh there won't be a next trick!" Pilar lights the firework. The firework takes off.
Charlie: "What the…" The firework pulls Charlie off the stage and sends him flying through the air. Charlie crashes into the table covered with pizza boxes. The pizza falls onto the ground.
Tom: "Not the pizza!" Charlie then crashes into the table filled with presents.
Isabel: "My presents!" Charlie crashes into the birthday cake. The cake explodes and lands on everyone.
Nancy: "The cake! It's ruined!" Charlie crashes into the piñata.
Taylor: "Free candy!" Finally the rope that's pulling Charlie gets caught on the top of the stage. Pilar laughs. The firework keeps pulling his shorts which causes them to tear off. Charlie bounces off the stage and lands on Tina. The firework explodes. Everyone gathers around Charlie. Charlie covers his private area. Martha gasps in disgust.
Martha: "Public nudity at a children's party!" Martha covers Tyler's eyes.
Mable: "Look away, Billy!" Mable and Lenny cover Small Billy's eyes.
Pilar: "Yes! My plan is working perfectly! There's no way Nat will be his best friend now."
Nancy: "You ruined my daughter's birthday! Do you know how much money I spent on this party? I just wanted Isabel to be happy but you had to wreck everything!"
Pilar: "Oh yeah, I hadn't thought about that part."
Tina: "Charlie! Get off of me!" Charlie gets off of Tina.
Tina: "How could you embarrass me like this? It's over! We're done! Take your stuff and leave! I can't believe I thought that I had finally found someone special!" Tina runs away crying.
Pilar: "Oh, man. Maybe I didn't really think this through. I wasn't trying to ruin his relationship."
Nat: "Wow, Charlie. I can't believe you would do something like this. I'm embarrassed to call you a teammate. Come on Shubie, let's get the kids and get out of here."
Shubie: "I told you he was a jerk in high school, Nat. I never thought he was the type of guy who would expose himself at kid's parties though." Pilar jumps down from the stage.
Pilar: "Wait! It's not Charlie's fault! I'm the one who ruined Isabel's birthday!" Everyone gasps. 
Pilar: "I hooked up Charlie's shorts to that firework because I was jealous of how close him and Nat have gotten lately. I didn't want to lose my spot as Nat's best friend."
Nat: "I really enjoy hanging out with Charlie but that doesn't make him my best friend."
Pilar: "Oh thank Neptune. So does that mean I'm still your best friend?
Nat: "No, Pilar. You've never been my best friend."
Pilar: "What?!" The crowd gasps.
Lenny: "But you guys do everything together!"
Nat: "I know, but that doesn't make him my best friend. My best friend is Shubie. No one understands me like she does."
Shubie: "Oh Nat, you're my best friend too." Shubie kisses Nat on the cheek.
Pilar: "Really? Well am I your second best friend at least?" Nat laughs.
Nat: "Yes, Pilar. Only Shubie knows more about me than you do." 
Shubie: "It helps when you've been sharing the same bed for 13 years."
Pilar: "That's good enough for me!" Tina runs over and hugs Charlie.
Tina: "Oh Charlie, I'm so happy that it wasn't you who wrecked the party. Now that I know the truth, we can keep dating. I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier."
Charlie: "It's okay, Tina." Tina and Charlie kiss.
Nancy: "Well I'm glad we're all having a happy ending but this doesn't excuse the fact that you ruined my daughter's birthday party! You are going to have to clean this mess up and pay for a new party!" Pilar sighs.
Pilar: "Okay. How much did it cost?" Nancy shows him a check.
Pilar: "$700?!" Pilar faints.
(Scene ends)
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