Treehouse of Horror XIV/Quotes

== Intro ==
:Bart: Good grief, this candy's terrible. Circus peanuts, raisins, nicotine gum, a library card. You got all the good stuff.
:Lisa: And yet, I'm still not satisfied. (takes a bite out of Bart's candy)
:Bart: You thieving hussy! (strangles Lisa)
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:Homer: (after getting impaled in the chest) Guh! Goh! Meh! You kids have got to learn the actions of consequences. (takes spear out of his chest and picks up a flaming log in fireplace with it) Eat fire, punks! (throws log)
:Bart and Lisa: (scream and dodge flaming log)
:Grampa: What the...! (gets hit by log, causing it to set Grampa on fire) I'm still cold.
:
:Kang: Pathetic humans! (holds up a TV Guide) They're showing a Halloween episode... (holds up a calendar with November on it) in November!
:Kodos: Who's still thinking about Halloween?! We've already got our Christmas decorations up! (points to the fireplace, which has a replica of Kang and Kodos taking over Santa, his sleigh, and the reindeer, a Christmas wreath, two Christmas shrubs on each side, two poinsettia plants on each side, a string of lights below the replica, and Rigellian-themed stockings for Kang and Kodos)
:Kang and Kodos: (laughs like Santa Claus in unison) Merry Christmas! (their spaceship flies away as Kodos laughs)
== Reaper Madness ==
:Homer: Death! Death! We miss you so much! You were a busboy in the restaurant of life. Clearing away the oldies and the sickies and the chokies. And you made NASCAR racing exciting!
:Lisa: Dad, it's trash day! Would you just take him out of the curb?
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:God: Wait a minute! This isn't Marge! It's her fat sister, Selma!
:Homer: It's Patty, CHUMP!
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:God: (after Homer got away with a motorcycle and the train blocks the way) Doggone it, I am too old and rich for this!
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:Lisa: Dad! You've become the new Grim Reaper!
:Homer: No way, forget it. I might occasionally kill out of anger, or to illustrate a point. But I am not a Grim Reaper! (the robe sucks in his groin) Ow! Ow! I'll reap! I'll reap already!
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:Homer: Check it out, I finally found a dead guy's clothes that fit me!
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:(hanging from a noose)
:Moe: If I knew this would take so long I'd put out a TV.
:(Pizza boy comes in)
:Pizza Boy: Pizza!
:Moe: The money's on the counter… No tip.
:Pizza Boy: Aw, you miserable bastard!
:Moe: That's why I'm up here. (looks at his watch again)
== Frinkenstein ==
:(Lisa asking about Frink, Sr. when she first sees him.)
:Lisa: Did a shark do that?
:Frink, Jr.: Yes. He was testing out a new blood-based sun-tan lotion.
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:Frink, Sr: I may be a soul,but I’m hungry.Can you throw in a little mazzard? Maybe a nice pizza pitch?
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:Professor Frink Sr.: I'm getting me a real spleen and then I'm gonna vent it on you boy chick.
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:(to Seymour, after Frink Sr. ripped out his spine)
:Agnes Skinner: Lost your spine huh? You just keep finding new ways to disappoint me.
== Stop the World, I Want to Goof Off ==
:Adult Bart: Wait! When people see all the stuff we did, they're gonna kill us!
:Adult Milhouse: Yeah… and I can't run too fast after 15 years of eating nothing but Gummi Worms. (swallows a bunch of Gummi Worms) I'm gonna quit tomorrow, I swear.
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:Bart: Do you realize what this means?
:Milhouse: Yeah, but you say it first.
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:Bart: I guess we can do whatever we want, and no one will stop us!
:Milhouse: I'm gonna play naked basketball!
:Bart: No you're not.
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:Homer: Or can I? (sighs) Much better. (WAILING LOUDLY)
:Nelson: Ha... (his clothes disappear) Huh?
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:Moe: (with a human leg during a mob) To repeat what I said a moment ago: you are so dead!
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:Lisa: Why can't I tinker with the fabric of existence?
:Bart: Let the baby have her bottle.
Category:Treehouse of Horror
Category:Treehouse of Horror quotes
Category:Episode Quotes