The Simpsons Game/Springfield Hub/Quotes

All the quotes of characters in the Springfield hub of The Simpsons Game, not including levels.
==Quotes==
==== Homer Simpson ====
* (After The Land of Chocolate) Boy, knock me out, okay? I wanna spend another night in chocolate city!
* (After Bartman Begins) Uh, this book's too hard. You just tell me how.
* (Before Around the World in 80 Bites) Eating contest, eh?
* (After Around the World in 80 Bites) I don't apologize. I'm sorry but that's the way I am.
* Hot Dog!
* Taco!
* Mm...freedom fries!
*Mm donut!
*Mm, purple!
*Heart clogging!
*Trying is the first step towards failure.
*Well just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
*Here's to alcohol, the cause of to all of solutions to all life's problems!
*Think Homer, what would Jebus do?
==== Bart Simpson ====
* (After The Land of Chocolate) Dad, you were asleep on the couch for three days.
* (After Bartman Begins) See, this manual says you have video game powers too! It explains how you can turn into a giant ball!
* (Before Around the World in 80 Bites) Now that you're the fattest lard **s in all of chub town, you can win the Eating Contest at the Duff Brewery!
* (After Invasion of the Yokel-Snatchers) Maybe I want to be an alien when I grow up.
*I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.
*I'm Bart Simpson, who the **** are you?
==== Lisa Simpson ====
* (Before Lisa the Tree Hugger) And now to defend a defenseless planet!
*I got a need for trees!
*Hold on, mother earth! I'm coming!
*The new Malibu Stacy has an achievable chest!
====Luigi Risotto====
*The Sea Captain, he said my baked ziti was sub-par!
*Mama mia, am I ever a stereotype! My last name is Risotto!
*Atsa spicy meatball!
*Sometimes I wish my hair is spaghetti.
*(angry) You smell like a rotten pepperoni!
*(bumped) Atsa okay.
*(joining Marge's mob) You need an Italian in your mob!
*Oofa!
*Be a good fella!
*Marrone!
*That's a fine pepperoni!
==== Krusty the Clown ====
* Is it a crime to be illiterate?
* (to Homer) Just my look to look like the ugliest guy in town.
* (to Marge) Don't you think blue hair is a little odd?
* (to Bart) We had a lot of adventures together, Burt.
* Ronald McDonald and Fred Thompson were at my class at clown college.
* I'm afraid you're no longer on my VIP list.
* Sorry, big shoes.
* Help! Teeny!
* Ow ow!
* Aw, crap!
* What'd I do?
* Not funny!
==== Charles Montgomery Burns ====
* Where is Smithers? My eyeballs haven't been moistened in minutes.
*(angry) I'm not saying ahoy-hoy to you.
*Release the hounds!
*Have you gone mad?
*This is not... excellent.
====Waylon Smithers, Jr.====
*I think Mr. Burns has an enchanting musk.
*I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, um, die.
*(to Marge) What's your career this week, Marge?
*(to Homer) Homer, I don't know how you're still employed.
*(to Bart) I wouldn't count on any inheritance, kid.
*(angry) You aren't old, bony, and evil enough to talk to.
*(during the Rigellian invasion) invasion without me, would he?
*(during the Rigellian invasion) Did you see Marge ordering around than angry mob? And I thought my mother was domineering!
*Don't punch me there!
====Patty Bouvier====
*Two years seems too long for a cell phone plan.
*I don't think the science is in on (coughing) smoking.
*I just think the female form is more attractive. I mean look at me!
*In general I'm a lesbian, but for MacGyver, I'm as straight as an arrow!
*(to Marge) I thought I was the most magnetic personality in the family!
*(to Homer) Is that wet swamp monster I smell? Oh, hi, Homer.
*(to Bart) Hey Bart, guess who needs a foot rub from her favorite nephew.
*Real smooth.
*I'm sorry, your application to talk to me has been denied.
*Is it the smoking?
*A little lower.
*I can take it.
*Stop it, putz.
*Knock it off.
==== Selma Bouvier ====
* Why doesn't anyone confuse me with Selma Blair?
*Doofus.
*Seriously?
*(to Homer) How's my blubber in law?
*(to Marge) Wake up and smell your husband, Marge.
*Not good.
*Be gentle.
*I've got mace!
*I'm a lady.
==== Lenny Leonard ====
* I gotta get some pipe cleaners. My great craft ideas just keep coming!
*I miss the days when Carl and I used to kiss... our respective girlfriends.
*The truth about Carl is, he's great!
*Buzz off.
*Ow, my eye!
*That hurts so much!
*I'm Lenny!
*Aw, nuts.
==== Carl Carlson ====
* Shut up!
* Hey, is this about Lenny?
* Aw, rats.
* Rise above it, Carl.
* If you messed up my hair...
* Boo yah! That hurt!
* Who leaves Alantis off the maps? We do... We do...
====Larry====
*God, I hate daylight!
*Have you seen Sam? He just inherited ten million dollars!
*Someone was sitting on my stool once. I just wandered around all night.
*That Sam thinks he's so smart with his cap.
*Lenny doesn't like other people talking to Carl. It's not a healthy relationship.
*Wazzup?
*You hurt Larry's feelings! Hurt them bad!
*Leave me be!
*Ouch!
*What's the big idea?
*I don't fight no more!
*That's illegal!
==== Sam ====
* My name's Sam. I'm starting a book club.
* I tried hanging out at the Kwik-E-Mart for a while, but Apu finds me too depressing.
* My... My hat's my best friend. Apologies to Larry.
* (angry) You are off my Christmas list!
* Do I know you?
* Fight the hat!
* For the love of Moe!
* You win, ok?
====Sherri====
*Terri's my twin!
*For Halloween, maybe I won't put a bow in my hair!
*Have Terri's jump-roping skills eroded? No comment...
*I got ten thousand dollars for a tip that make the police find Uter!
*(angry) You're stupid.
*(to Lisa) If I get the new Itchy and Scratchy game, maybe Ralph might notice me.
*(to Bart) My dad says your dad is incompetent.
*(to Homer) You stink!
*(to Marge) You could put a lot of bows in your hair.
*(to Lisa) Lisa likes Nelson!
*(during the Rigellian invasion) The aliens better not kill anyone except me and Milhouse.
*Gross.
*Help! Milhouse!
*I'll tell Mrs. Krabappel!
*Like, stop!
====Terri====
*Sherri's my twin!
*I'm a few seconds younger than Sherri. It shows.
*(angry) Sorry, I have enough friends.
*(to Lisa) Beating up dolphins won't get you a husband, Lisa.
*(to Lisa) Even you can't ruin the new Itchy and Scratchy game, Lisa!
*(to Homer) You smell bad!
*(to Bart) We had some fun Bart. Now let it go.
*(to Marge) I don't wanna end up like you.
*(to Lisa) Lisa, the size of your butt doesn't define you.
*Oh. My. God.
*I'm not Sherri!
*I don't like this!
*Save me, Tom Cruise!
*Not the face!
*Be nice!
====Ralph Wiggum====
*Ice cream tastes like melting.
*Me fail English? That's unpossible.
*Once, I super glued my ear to my shoulder.
*My cat's breath smells like cat food.
*I found a moonrock in my nose.
*(to Homer) Mr. Simpson, I bent my wookie!
*(to Bart) Hey, Bart, the leprechaun told me to burn things!
*(to Lisa) You ruined the video game and I ruined my pants!
*(to Lisa) I want to be the new Itchy and Scratchy game when I grow up.
*(to Ned Flanders) When I grow up, I wanna be a principal, or a catterpillar!
*Go away!
*Kiss it better!
*I don't like this game.
*That hurted!
*I can't feel my arms!
*Bumping's fun!
==== Rainier Wolfcastle ====
* Laughing time is over.
* (to Bart) Little boy, you may touch my kneecap if you like.
* (to Marge) I would love to sign an autograph for you, in bed.
* Gott in himmel, you are so annoying!
* I am not listening to your flabby mouth any longer!
* Stop your puny attack!
* No autographs.
* Stunt double?
* That is hurting me!
====Rich Texan====
*America's not a place for seat belt-wearing cowards!
*Homer and I are a lot alike. We're both from Connecticut.
*(when injured) You have given this cowboy the blues!
*(to Disco Stu) Hey, what's with the rhinestone get-up son?
*(to Disco Stu) Disco, eh? That's that kind of hoe-down where fellers kiss on fellers.
*(during the Rigellian invasion) I wonder if they have oil on their planet.
*That smarts!
*Tarnation!
*Ow, my stinkbone!
*Whoa, doggie!
==== Groundskeeper Willie ====
* My stomach is full haggis need to go puke in some hay.
*(during the Rigellian invasion) I wonder if I could have a space shack someday.
*(to Lisa) Hello, wee lassie.
*Ya hurt Willie's feelings.
*Ach!
*Mercy!
*No more!
*That hurts!
====Ned Flanders====
*Get out the Crayolas and color me tickled pink.
*(to Bart) Hey Bart, stay away from Rod and Todd!
*(to Homer) Hi diddly ho, neighborino!
*Like evolution, I'm afraid I'll have to reject you.
*Son of a diddly!
*Wow, you are vexed!
*Darn it!
====Rod Flanders====
*(during the Rigellian invasion) Those aliens have a big confession to make.
*I'm gonna pray for you.
*Amen!
*Hallelujah!
*I'm jealous of girls, cause they get to wear dresses.
*If Cain and Abel were the only children of Adam and Eve, how did they make more babies?
*Was Mommy a monkey? I can’t remember.
*I forgive you.
*Jesus wouldn't do that.
*God's watching.
*Don't you want to go to heaven?
====Todd Flanders====
*Bringing in the sheaves! Bringing in the sheaves!
*(to Bart) Bart, you're a mortal sin!
*Lies make baby Jesus cry!
*(upon joining mob) Apostles were kinda a mob!
*(to Homer) I'm glad you're not my daddy.
*Sorry, I'm not allowed to talk to doodie heads.
*Jesus potty trained the dinosaurs.
*I love you!
*I don't like this game.
*You'll pay.
*This is old testament.
*Repent!
*I don't wanna remember.
*Nice running into you!
*Bless you.
====Eddie====
*God, I love justice.
*(To Homer) Thanks for doing my job down at the museum, I'll take it from here
*(To Homer) Fat Man wins Eating Contest. Shocking.
*(To Homer) I don't know why we keep letting Sideshow Bob out of jail.
*Homer there's trouble at the ol' museum. Just thought you'd wanna know.
*Move along.
*Who's side are you on?
*Cease!
*Halt!
*Desist!
*This isn't funny!
*I'm using my right to remain silent.
====Lou====
*(to Homer) Jesus, Homer, buy some new pants.
*I like pointing my gun sideways. It looks cool.
*Uh, I need backup!
*(when injured) That's assault!
*Hey, cool it!
*Whoa, whoa, whoooa!
*Here's an APB, go away!
====Clancy Wiggum====
*I like listening to the police scanner at home, but it annoys me at work.
*Now where did I put my badge? Maybe that duck's got it!
*(to Marge) How's civilian life treating you, Marge?
*Help! Spider-Man!
*I give up! Take my gun!
*Hey, respect the badge!
*Be nice to Wiggum!
*Oh, for the love of donuts!
*Ah, personal space!
*Watch it, punk.
*(upon joining mob) Cops don't normally join mobs, but what the "hey."
*(during the Rigellian invasion) The world is ending! I'm going to eat all the caramel I can!
*This officer is not down with you.
====Abraham Simpson====
*Has anyone seen my teeth? Slippery little devils.
*Not all old people are crazy sex-maniacs!
*(when bumped) Hello?
*(when bumped) D'OH!
*In my day, we didn't have pacifiers! We had to suck on pieces of wood!
*(to Homer) You and me are a lot alike. You liberated the museum, I liberated France!
*(to Bart) How's my gutsy little daredevil of a grandson?
*(to Jasper) Where'd you get that in your skull then?
*(to Jasper) And your war medals?
*(angry) I don't remember why, but I'm not speaking to you.
*I'm old!
*I wet myself!
*Why you little!
*Help! Matlock!
*Keep it up...
====Sarah Wiggum====
*Clancy!
====Martin Prince Sr.====
*I don't mind that my feelings pick up the radio but, Mexican radio?
*I'm Martin's father, Martin Sr.
*Martin's a smart nerd, not like that dork Milhouse.
*You stepped over the line!
*You hit me!
*Go hit someone else!
====Martin Prince====
*(angry) You sir are a disgrace to the nerd community.
*Parting is such sweet sorrow, now scram!
*Help! Nelson!
*Clemency, please!
*I'm fragile!
*Oh, dear...
====Timothy Lovejoy====
*How did Adam and Eve have grandkids? Their kids were both boys?
*(to Homer) I could go for a club sandwich right now with a taaaaaaaaaaaaall glass of milk.
*(to Homer) Lose some weight, Homer? Ah ha ha ha.
*(to Bart) You know a good place to have Bible's re-ribboned?
*(to Bart) Hi there, Satan! I mean, Bart!
*(during the Rigellian invasion) The world is ending and you were like "Noooooooooo".
*I'm telling God!
*Look, there's three thousand dollars in my wallet, just take it!
*Where's my god now?
*Fiddlesticks!
*Hey, that's not kosher!
*(to Lisa) Someone should be thinking about that new evil videogame, Lisa. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
==== Seymour Skinner ====
* (during the Rigellian invasion) This is like a scary version of Vietnam!
* I had a children's asprin and I feel light-headed.
* Stop raging! I'm not the machine!
* Careful, I bruise easily.
* Help! Mother!
* It's nam all over again!
* Stop with the monkey business!
==== Agnes Skinner ====
* I wonder what Donald Trump got his mother on Mother's Day.
* Maybe I should remarry and give Seymour a little brother or sister.
* (to Homer) Afternoon, jack**s.
* I'll let that one go.
* Seymour, help!
* Feel good to hit an old woman?
* Ohh, take all my hard candies!
* Buzz off, loser!
* I've had enough of your sass!
==== Edna Krabappel ====
* (Sigh) Another night of soup for one, salad for one, wine for three.
* (to Disco Stu) Stu? Stu Rosen? Is that you?
*Here's today's lesson: Buzz off!
*(to Jimbo) Shouldn't you be in school, Jimbo?
*I ran out to get some smokes.
*That's it, detention!
*Knock it off!
*Use your words.
*Okay, I get it.
*Whatever.
====Disco Stu====
*Disco Stu is in danger of becoming a one note guy.
*Disco Stu likes disco music.
*Disco Stu doesn't advertise.
*Disco Stu knows his place.
*The goldfish in Disco Stu's platform shoes are dead, but Disco Stu can't get them out.
*(upon joining mob) Disco Stu is in your crew.
*(to Rich Texan) Oh, hi. Disco Stu's the name, proselytizing Disco's my game!
*(to Rich Texan) Only sometimes! Disco welcomes all forms of human flourishing!
*(to Edna Krabappel) Disco Stu is not sure if he recognizes you, happening lady!
*(during the Rigellian invasion) Disco Stu is gonna go narc on the aliens.
*Not groovy dare I say, uptight.
*Sit on it!
*Oh, that's super bad!
*This beat down is out of sight.
*Leave Disco Stu alone, man!
*Oh, this is heavy!
==== Kent Brockman ====
* If I have to cover another Eagle Scout ceremony, I'll blow my brains out.
* Newsflash, I'm not speaking to you!
* (to Marge) With that body, you could be a weather girl!
* (to Lisa) How's the former disgraced Little Miss Springfield?
* Save me Cronkite!
* You nailed me!
* I make the news!
* Holy Scotch!
* Where's my close-up?
* I hate people.
* Don't touch me, please.
====Jimbo Jones====
*I'd rather be shoplifting.
*I don't respect my elders.
*(upon joining mob) Awesome! I thought only college kids join mobs.
*(during the Rigellian invasion) Those aliens stole my idea - they are gonna loot the mall.
*(during the Rigellian invasion) The Giant Donut boy is letting out his rage, I think it's healthy.
*I wonder if Kearney's thinking about me.
*(to Edna) Maybe. Shouldn't you be in school?
*(to Louie) Wow, why don't you mafia guys just kill the aliens?
*(during the Rigelian invasion) You can still get a good job if you don't finish school, right?
*(during the Rigellian invasion) You don't have the X factor.
====Nelson Muntz====
*Why is my brain so dumb at schoolbook reading?!
*When I grow up, I gonna be the world's dumbest astronaut.
*My mom cuts my hair when she's drunk!
*My mom brings me free buffalo wings from the club every night!
*(to Bart) Smell ya later, Simpson.
*(to Marge) That was a total class bullying, Mrs. Simpson!
*(Waiting) Wait here? My dad usually leaves me in the car.
*(Waiting) I hope I haven't been played for a fool.
*(upon joining mob) This is like a homecoming, I was born in a mob.
*Hey! Start hitting yourself!
*No fair!
*I'm telling my probation officer!
*I'm making a mental note of this.
*Nice manners.
====Squeaky-Voiced Teen====
*This Axe body spray isn't woking like I'd hoped.
*Someone took my wallet!
*Marge can tell me what to do anyday!
*Welcome to Krusty Burger, can I take your order?
*(during the Rigellian invasion) So I am old enough to get probed by the aliens, but not old enough to have a drink?
*I tried to get my own life after they cancelled Futurama.
*You're just jealous of my youth.
*(to Alien) I talk like this when I'm nervous! And I'm always nervous!
*Take a pill!
*Please don't.
*Not cool!
*I'm not legal!
====Milhouse Van Houten====
*I'm not a nerd. Nerds are smart.
*Sometimes I wish a cat would eat me.
*My mom says I'm the handsomest guy in school.
*(to Marge) Now I can't play Grand Theft Scratchy (SOBS) I hate you, Mrs. Simpson!
*(angry) Hey, you can't mess with the house like that!
*Mommy!
*No roughhousing!
*Stop or I'll sue!
*Don't mess up my hair!
*Duck and cover!
*Oh, my asthma!
====Uter Zorker====
*Do not make me run! I am full of chocolate!
*Sugar has taken over my brain!
*(to Homer) Please do not kidnap me!
*(to Bart) You are so lucky to be close to Milhouse.
*(during the Rigellian invasion) The aliens must not steal our chocolate supply!
*Marzipan!
*America is cruel!
*Oom pah pah!
*Not again!
====Comic Book Guy====
*(to Homer) Well, if it isn't the voice of Poochie!
*Worst. Videogame. Ever!
*I'm only known as Comic Book Guy, my real name is Jeff Albertson.
*(during the Rigellian Invasion) First contact was not supposed to occur until 2063!
*If I weren't such a nerd...
*Save me Mary Worth!
*Damage report!
*Do not bump me, I will sue!
*Um, watch it.
*Help me Spock!
*I submit!
====Legs====
*This wire I'm wearing itches like I got fleas!
*Get in my way and I'll whack you in Labonza!
*You broke my heart!
*You trying to get whacked?
*I'm connected.
*I prefer to beat up.
*If anyone sees Uter, tell anybody that Legs is looking for him.
*I'm walkin' here.
====Moe Szyslak====
*Ah, look, I got someone in my trunk I have attend to.
*What day is this? Sundersday? Is that one of them?
*(to Barney) Things in this town is getting' screwy.
*(during the Rigellian invasion) Before I die, I wanna be king of the corpses. Yay!
*(during the Rigellian Invasion) I don't mind these screwy going's on. I like watching everybody squirm!
*I'm wandering around looking for a bar rag what blew away.
*That's gonna bruise.
*Huh, just finish me off.
*Is this because I can't read?
*Why'd you go all Popeye?
*Stop! I'll lick your feet!
*Whoa, whoa, whoa!
==== Barney Gumble ====
* (to Moe) Don't you mean "are getting screwy"?
* (to Moe) All right, all right. Sheesh.
*(to Moe) Moe, where does beer come from?
*(to Moe) Moe, where do babies come from?
*I'm afraid I'll have to cut you off!
*Could you help me? I've seemed to have forgotten who I am.
*Yes, I do find a bottle at the bottom of a glass!
*England's greatest prime minister was Lord Palmerston!
*(suring the Rigellian Invasion) Those aliens look so gross! (BURP)
*I'd love to try some space juice!
*Ohh, all weirder hallucinations.
*I'm fine with the invasion, as long as they leave us Moe's.
*That's not nice!
*Ow!
*Touché!
*There goes my liver!
====Joe Quimby====
*So, I'm ready to receive my bribe now.
*You cost me a giant bribe. I mean, well done, voter.
*Can I count on your vote?!
*(upon joining mob) Seeing as I'm in between bribes, I'll join your mob.
*Mistakes were not made.
*Did I ever tell you I was almost a contestant in project Runway?
==== Apu Nahasapeemapetilon ====
* I hope Manjula's at the gym.
* (to Homer) Hello, Mr. Homer. How low is it hanging?
*(to Marge) Back for more wine, Marge?
*Snake already robbed me!
*Watch it!
*(when bumped) Stop bumping me!
*Thank you. Don't come again.
*I'll speak to you in my next life.
*Non-violent resistance sucks!
*Are we not friends?
*The customer is always right.
====Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon====
*
*(during the Rigellian invasion) I knew I should've told Apu we'd move to Utah.
*Apu cannot die until the octuplets are out of college! Then fine.
*(to Nelson) You mean little boy! What would your mother say if she heard you talk this way?
*You have angered me as well as my many Gods.
*Do not provoke me.
*Think of the octuplets!
*Apu!
*Stop that!
*Karma will get you!
====Snake Jailbird====
*(during the Rigellian invasion) Those aliens don't look tough, they don't have any tattoos.
*My friends call me Snake, but my students call me Professor Jailbird.
*I'm like, totally not speaking to you, for real, okay?
*Whoa, dude!
*I am badly hurt!
*Be gentle!
*Um, ow!
*Nice morals.
==== Jasper Beardsley ====
* I'm blind. Oh well, easy come, easy go.
*You get a wag of my beard!
*That's a paddling!
* (to Grampa) Abe, I gotta confession to make. I wasn't in World War II.
* (to Grampa) I put it there myself. Though it would help sell the legend.
* (to Grampa) Stole yours.
* Who did that?
* Not cool.
* Leave me alone.
* Just don't harm the beard!
* Feels good to be alive.
==== Gil Gunderson ====
*Oh geez, the wolf's at ol' Gil's door.
*Please don't sue me!
*I'll work for food!
*Let's talk about this!
*You really let ol' Gil down.
==== Bumblebee Man ====
*El yoyo es grande!
*Dios no me ama!
*Salgame a mi dolor!
*El mundo es loco!
*El woodpeckero loco me ataque!
*El museo no es bueno!
*Salve Los arboles, por favor!
*Ay! Naranjas a la cabeza!
*Ay, Chihuahua!
*Ay, mi estomago!
*What the...
*No es bueno!
*Ay, no me gusta!
*Mi stingeria es ahora, su stingeria!
==== Gary Chalmers ====
* (grunts) I think I bit off the majority of my tongue. It tasted pretty good.
*That was totally uncalled for.
*Skinner! Save me!
*Stop that.
*Ow, my pelvis!
*This is untenable.
*Please, end your rain of terror!
====Wendell Borton====
*I think I'm gonna be sick...
*I cannot eat sausages.
*I cannot eat gorditas.
*I cannot eat corndogs.
*When I grow up, I wanna be a stuntman.
*I'm not stable.
*This could get messy.
*Here it comes!
*Careful.
*Oh God...
*Oh geez...
==== Janey Powell ====
* If you piled up all my dolls, it would reach the moon!
*(to Homer) There's a new game coming out at the Sequel Stop! The kids there smell like ketchup!
*Awk-ward!
*Sometimes I get so excited about jumping rope, I can't sleep!
*Lisa thinks she's so smart.
*Lisa's really smart.
*(to Homer) Hi Mr. Simpson! Can Lisa sleep over?
*I'm just a kid!
*Cooties!
*I'm telling!
*You're mean!
====Lewis Clark====
* Is there anything cooler than Ballroom Dance.
* I like Rolling Stone for their political coverage.
*(to Bart) Hey Bart, school sucks, don't you think?
*(to Marge) Hi, Mrs. Simpson! You should keep an eye on Bart.
*I don't think so.
*Stranger danger!
*Time out!
*I'm a minor!
==== Lewis' lookalike ====
* Look at me! I'm a robobot! Zap zap! Zap zap! Zap zap! Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep!
* I have ADD.
*(angry) You're a real blockhead sometimes!
*Don't have a cow.
*Time out!
*I'm just a kid!
*I'll be good!
*What I do?
==== Kearney Zzyzwicz ====
* I hope these wristbands completely hide my chunky wrists.
* No matter what I can do, I can't shake this head stubble!
* I'm emotionally unavailable to you.
*(upcoming mob) I'll join. It's my wife's weekend with the kid!
*I wonder what Jimbo's thinking?
*I've been in an elementary school too long.
*When I was a kid I was really in to the Fine Young Cannibals.
*Knock it off.
*Jeez!
*Uncool!
*Count to 10!
==== Dolph Starbeam ====
* I probably won't be able to hide behind this hair flap forever.
*Bullying comes natural to me.
*I'll do something with my life later.
*(to Bart) You always surprise me, Bart.
*I am Jonesin' for Jones's sausages...
*Stop! I'm a minor!
*Enough's enough!
*No more!
*I give!
* Buzz off!
==== Hans Moleman ====
* Well, you're certainly doing your job today, Mr. Sun.
*(to Homer) If only sugar were as sweet as you, sir.
*(to Homer) Homer, you are DA bomb. Did I say that right?
* (to Bart) Don't end up like me, son... old.
*Drinking has ruined my life, I'm 31 years old!
*Molemen have feeling too, you know.
*(to Lisa) Have you seen any Molewomen around here, Lisa?
*(to Marge) Good Moleman to you, Marge.
*Firm but fair.
*May I have another?
*Oh no, my brains!
*I had it coming.
*I apologize.
*My fault.
*A million pardons.
==== Old Jewish Man ====
* ♪ Even though we're not gentile. We'll get along for a while...♪
* Mazel tov!
*Get lost, ya putz!
*Hey, do I know you, mister?
*Oy!
*Oy vay!
==== Cletus Spuckler ====
* Some folks will never eat a skunk, but then again, some folks'll...
* Sometimes Brandine thinks my parents are her parents too.
* If I have finished grade three, I could've been a hobo.
* (to Homer) Hey Mister, who knocked you up?
* (to Bart) Look at that pointy-haired little boy! Hu-yuck!
* (to Lisa) Howdy, Dentburg Squatburg Jr.
* (to Marge) You don't smell like garbage!
* (to Bart) There's an eating contest at the beer-ity making shack.
* Oh, you want a feud?
* Stop and whatnot!
* Hey that ain't kosher!
* Dang!
* Ouchity!
* Enough of you! Talk to the arm foot!
==== Brandine Spuckler ====
* When in they gonna make Kid Rock's birfday a national holiday?
*Cletus gave me some of his old teeth to make a love necklace!
*(during the Rigellian invasion) I hope Cletus is protecting his stinkbone.
*You and me are in a feud!
*I'm gonna shoo these aliens. Soneone cut me a switch.
*Stop! I'm birthin'!
*You ain't so whatnot!
*This ain't right!
*Dang!
*You're wicked.
==== Nick Riviera ====
* I think I just ate a kidney and transplanted a hoagie!
*I'm Dr. Nick.
*Hi everybody!
*See you in the operating place
*Help, everybody!
*But, I'm Dr. Nick!
*Ow, my thing!
*Did Hibbert send you?
*You're strong.
*Your next to bed manner is terrible.
==== Raphael ====
* Sometimes late at night I rub my butt on the Dino skeletons.
*Hey, no one likes a wiseguy.
*Take it somewhere else.
*Hey, that's enough!
*Fun's over, boy-o.
==== Professor Frink (Before Rigellian invasion) ====
* Come on, Frinky, she's your wife. You shouldn't be nervous about asking her out.
*(to Homer) My father and I get along like positrons and anti-neutrinos. Blar blar.
*(to Homer) Blah, We must ban all sports that require you to take your shirt off. Blah!
*I'm not speaking to you with the silence and the shunning and the talk to the hand!
*(to Bart) Hi Bart, with the slinghost, cowabunga and the greatest prank ever!
*Please! Not in the brain!
*(FRIGHTENED NOISE)
*Please, you're defying reason!
*Save me Einstein!
*Hey hey hey, it hurts me!
==== Charlie ====
* I'd get laser eye surgery if I had the cajones.
* No more!
* Let's talk about this!.
* Yikes!
* Is it my attitude?
* I'm scared!
* I need some space right now.
==== Otto Mann ====
* I'm afraid I'll have to say bon soir.
* (to Marge) Hi, Lady buzz kill.
* (to Homer) Hey Homer, still working for the man?
* Take a chill pill.
* You used to be cool!
==== Horatio McCallister ====
* (to Homer) Look! Tis the great yellow whale.
* (to Marge) Can you spare any change, Marge?
* (to Lisa) Arr, it's the girl with the head of a starfish!
* Don't make me get a restraining order!
* I thought we were mateys!
* Arr, come on!
* Ow, me arm!
* Ow, me booty!
==== Blue-Haired Lawyer ====
* I love this briefcase. We expected a lot of loopholes together.
* The most valuable lesson I learned at law school was how to rhyme!
* I'm sorry, Mr. Largo, you can't sue Mrs. Skinner.
* Ow, my affidavit!
* Please rest your case!
* I'm in double jeopardy!
* I object, to talking to you.
==== Dewey Largo ====
* Why do they have to make vanilla so spicy?
* Stop acting like a stupid ape!
==Conversations==
Category:Quotes
Category:The Simpsons Game