Brothers and sisters, checking email, math, and self-loathing

Chapter 6: Brothers and sisters, checking email, math, and self-loathing
==Text==
The low throb of pain from his right wing pulls Hermann out of sleep. He tries to flex it and stretch out the cause of the ache, but it doesn’t obey his request to unfold. He nearly panics, mind flooding with images from thousands of dreams of dissection. Forcing himself to breathe, he analyzes the situation. He’s in his own room, in his own bed, with Newton pressed against his side sleeping peacefully. Newton. Newton’s hands on his wing last night, pushing a broken bone back into place, then immobilizing it to help it heal properly.
Why hadn’t I told Newton about the risks I face from falls earlier? Because I didn’t—don’t—trust him, not outside of his skill as a scientist. Certainly he behaves as a friend now, but that will surely change when the novelty of friendship with an engineered monster wears off. I probably remind him of his beloved kaiju. Still, there can be no harm in taking pleasure and comfort from his closeness while it lasts. So long as I don’t allow myself to become too attached, it will work out.
Ignoring the pain for the moment, Hermann closes his eyes again and lets himself drift off with his forehead resting against the back of Newt’s shoulder, pressed to the kaiju wing tattooed there.
When he wakes for the second time that morning, Newt is gently shaking him and looking down with obvious concern. "You okay?" he asks. "I think you were having a nightmare."
"Ah, yes, I was. My apologies for disturbing you." Newt waves off Hermann’s words.
"You want to talk about it?" He sits up with his back against the headboard and watches Hermann carefully.
"There’s nothing to tell, really," Hermann says dismissively. "It was only another dream of being the subject of scientific inquiry."
"All I do is dissect things. With dreams like those, how do you share workspace with me, dude?"
Hermann sighs. "It is amazing what a person can grow used to given enough motivation and determination. The work of stopping the kaiju and of making a contribution to humanity provided more than enough of the former."
"Aw. Here I was hoping you’d say my smiling face or my charming personality."
"If your face and personality were the only attractions holding me at my post, I would have resigned long ago."
"You said ‘only’! That means my attractiveness is part of the reason you hang around!" Newt crows in triumph, pointing a finger at Hermann’s face.
Hermann rolls his eyes. "Don’t be ridiculous. Perhaps we should have you re-checked for brain damage at Medical."
"You’re no fun," Newt pouts. "I suppose I should take a look at how my repair job is holding up." The two clamber out of bed. Newt examines Hermann’s wing and removes the pieces of tape that have loosened overnight, taking a feather or two with each one, making Hermann wince, then carefully replaces them. He applies a fresh wrapping to hold the wing still.
"You’ll need me to re-tape this every day or two. It’s going to take weeks, at least, for you to heal. You’re lucky Doctor Geiszler makes house calls." Newt poses with his hands on his hips and a proud smile.
"You sound entirely too pleased with this situation, Newton."
"What can I say? I like playing doctor," Newt says with a shrug.
"You’re incorrigible," Hermann grumbles and Newt laughs.
"Completely guilty," he says. "We’re short on food. Anything you want me to pick up from the mess for you?"
"I’d appreciate some fruit and whatever basic protein they have."
While Newt retrieves breakfast, Hermann picks up his tablet and skims his personal email, which he'd neglected since the day of the double event. Interview requests, messages from old colleagues, offers of university positions. A letter from his father which he deletes without reading. Notes from his siblings.
Bastien:
Big brother! I bet my roommate £20 you had something to do with ending the war. It was probably the easiest 20 I'll ever make. Thanks, bro! Dinner is on me next time you're in London. Love you.
Karla:
Hermann, answer me, you jerk, before I fly to Hong Kong to find you. You're too tough for those kaiju to have killed you, so I know you're not dead. You're ignoring me. Probably because you're accepting awards from every government and university on the planet. I'll settle for a text. I just want to hear you're well.
Dietrich:
Hermann, I trust you have something to do with this outbreak of good news? I never doubted you were right. I'm proud of you, little brother.
"You really need to give me a key," Newt says when Hermann unlocks the door for him. "They actually had some decent-smelling Assam, so I grabbed a couple for you to try. That might make up for the fact all of the meat looked suspicious this morning." Hermann snorts, thanks him, and reclaims his chair.
Newt openly reads Dietrich’s message over Hermann’s shoulder. "Looks like he has your back, more than just being your doctor."
"My siblings can be quite protective of me."
Newt perches on the edge of the bed and begins munching on his dry bowl of colorful, sugary cereal. "That’s really cool. It’s good to have family and friends you can count on. Makes me wish I had a brother or sister or two."
"They are, at best, a mixed blessing I’ve found."
"C’mon, give them some credit." He pulls the tablet out of Hermann’s hands and scans the notes from Karla and Bastien. "They care about you, dude. No matter how awful Lars is to you, you’re their brother. They’re proud of you. They love you."
"They, perhaps, are simply trying to avoid bringing attention and shame to the family," Hermann says cooly.
"Or, maybe, they don’t want to see your life wrecked by things your asshole parents did to you. I think they really care about you, dude. Karla’s a biologist, right? Working on phytoplankton to clear Kaiju Blue? Why hasn’t she tried to reverse engineer you instead? I’m sure Dietrich could go down in history if he wrote up your case for a medical journal, too, but he helps you hide and Bastien’s a broke law student with enough faith in you to risk his food money."
Hermann distractedly plays with a section of the orange he began peeling after Newt took his tablet, determinedly not meeting Newt’s eyes. "Hey. I’m up here," Newt needles, staring until Hermann makes eye contact. "You need to trust somebody, Hermann. You can trust them. You can trust me, too. I mean, I may not be the most organized or the neatest guy around, but I care. When it comes to you … I’ll do almost anything. For god’s sake, you have me pretending to be a medical doctor totally against what better judgement I have."
"I’m grateful for your help, Newton." He raises an eyebrow as Newt starts tapping at the tablet screen. "What are you doing?"
"Putting in an order for cases of medical tape and gauze before they shut down my company card. We’re going to need it to keep your wing stable while it heals." He grins a mischievous grin. "You want me to misappropriate funds for anything else while I’m logged in?" Hermann gives a long-suffering sigh and turns back to his toast and orange.
Breakfast finished, Newt asks, "You want to work in the lab today? Then let me wrap your other wing. No ladders. No walking without your cane. At least one foot on the floor at all times."
"I’m not made of glass, Newton," Hermann grouses as they walk to the door.
"Doctor’s orders, Hermann. You put me in charge of your treatment, so this is all your fault," Newt declares.
Hermann looks beseechingly at the ceiling. "Gods. I’ve created a monster," he mumbles.
As evening rolls in, Newt strips off his gloves and approaches Hermann. "Hong Kong University invited me to give a talk tonight, remember? I'd, uh, like it if you joined me," he says. "C'mon. We'll be a hit."
"Thank you for the invitation, but I must pass," Hermann says without turning from his work. He adds quietly, "I'm not comfortable with public appearances."
"It's a lecture, not a talk show. You used to give them for a living," Newt responds in his most reasonable voice.
"That was a long time ago. I am even less interested than usual given my current inability to dress myself properly."
"You'll be fine. They'll all be staring at me anyway. I'm the cute one." Hermann snorts. "It won't be as much fun without you." Newt’s voice hovers one step away from whining.
"Newton, I'm confident you'll muddle through somehow." Hermann finally turns to address Newt face-to-face.
"Sure you won't join me?" Now Newt is definitely whining.
"Yes, I am," Hermann says firmly. "You should leave soon so you arrive on time."
"Yeah, I shouldn't keep my fans waiting." Newt sounds almost disappointed. "Promise me you’ll be careful while I’m gone."
Hermann remains in the lab after Newt leaves, but he struggles to focus on tying up the loose ends of his model of Breach structure using the final sensor data relayed by Striker Eureka and Gipsy Danger. After the fourth time he catches himself staring blankly at the board, he climbs down his ladder and drops himself into his desk chair. 
"Hopeless," he murmurs as he squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose. He drums his fingers against the desktop, then grabs his cane and makes his way slowly back to his quarters. 
He changes for the evening, unwraps his uninjured wing, and sits as he normally does, slouched over the back of the chair to gives his wings (or, today, wing) as much space and freedom of motion as he can. Eyes closed, he slowly beats his free wing, a semi-conscious action he always finds comforting. He loses himself in a meditative trance, thinking of nothing but his own breathing and the movement of air through his feathers. 
Hermann startles back to the world when Newt knocks. He reaches for his cane, reconsiders, and walks to the door without it. 
"Given any thought to making me a key?" Newt asks with a grin before he notices Hermann’s empty hands. "Hey!" he yelps. "I said no walking without your cane, Hermann. If you want me to keep playing doctor you need to listen to me." 
"I am perfectly able to cross this small distance with no problem," Hermann huffs. 
"Whatever, Hermann. If you break anything else or reinjure that wing, I’m sedating you and we’re going to the base doctor, understand?" 
"You wouldn’t dare." He sounds scandalized. "There’s not much I won’t dare when something important’s at stake," Newt says while he glares at Hermann. "Let me get a look at your wing." He steps behind Hermann to get a better view of the injured limb. "Maybe I should get my M.D. I think I’m doing pretty well here. If I can handle you, I should be able to deal with anyone." 
"Perhaps veterinary medicine would be more appropriate given your patient," Hermann mumbles. 
"What did you say?" 
Hermann raises his voice a little and snarls, "I said, perhaps you should study to become a veterinarian instead." 
"Maybe I could do both. I like having an even number of doctorates," Newt says with a nervous little laugh. He pauses in the middle of applying new tape to the splint. "Hold on. Did you seriously just call yourself an animal? And not in the ‘all humans are primates’ sense?" 
"I’m not a human being, Newton. I’m a monster, a creation, as much as any kaiju." He good wing trembles as he wraps it around his side. "I belong in a zoo or a lab now that my work is done." 
"Shut up! Just shut up!" Newt screams loudly enough to be heard in LOCCENT while pulling at his hair. Hermann nearly flinches himself off his chair. Newt dives through the space between them and grabs Hermann’s shoulders, one under each hand, to hold him in place. Their foreheads smack together and Newt’s glasses are pushed askew as he crouches in front of Hermann. "Oh my god, I don’t care what your parents called you! How they treated you! You’re a fucking human being! A great one! One of the best I’ve met! I’ve only been listening to you say shit like this for four days and I’m sick of it already. So stop it. Seriously. You hear me? Doctor’s orders." 
Hermann blinks at him then lowers his head to rest on Newt’s shoulder, knocking the man’s glasses the rest of the way off. Newt moves his hands to hug Hermann, taking care not to trap his wings. They rest like that for a minute or five with Hermann’s wing fluttering nervously. 
"Breathe, Hermann. You’re going to pass out any second," Newt chides gently. Hermann takes a great, shaky breath without lifting his head. "Alright, big guy. Let’s go to bed before my legs give out. I’ll grab your meds." Hermann straightens and nods, giving Newt a look at his puffy, reddened eyes. He swallows the pills Newt brings him and doesn’t resist when Newt takes his elbow and leads him to bed. 
They fall asleep with Newt’s arm around Hermann’s waist and Hermann’s wing stretched over Newt.
==Meta==
Here’s an A/V aid to help you visualize the part where Newt yells at Hermann. Picture this, only a little more restrained.
My partner pointed out something interesting when she read through the first five chapters this afternoon. Follow this: Hermann’s wings are those of a Little Owl, Latin name Athene noctua. The genus name comes from the goddess Athene and this species of owl is used as the model for the bird that often accompanies her. Athene’s temple in Athens (a city dedicated to and named after her) is the Parthenon, which takes its name from one of her nicknames: the virgin or maiden goddess, which is parthenos in Greek. Parthenos is also the root of the word ‘parthenogenesis’ which is the birth of an offspring without genetic input from a male. In other words, exactly how this version of Hermann came to be. Weird how that sort of circled around. And all because I thought the owl in question was pretty.
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