Cole Phelps

Cole Phelps battled Vault Boy in Epic Rap Battle Parodies 1 and again in Epic Rap Battle Parodies 20. He was played by Justin Buckner.
 
== Information on the Rapper==
Cole Phelps(1920- September 30th, 1947) is a professional detective in the Rockstar game, L.A Noire. He was a soldier in World War II, being a First Lietenant and commanding a squadreon of his own men. He was known for being bad luck, and made the mistake of ordering his men to kill a whole cave of Japanese civilians. After being honorably discharged, he became a member of the LAPD. He quickly rose through the ranks, solving the Black Dalhia murders, and exposing the corruption of some of the main figures of LA. However, after being found out that he was cheating on his wife, he was demoted to Arson. When finding the arsoist, his old veteran friend Ira, he is killed in the flooding sewers.
==Lyrics==
===Epic Rap Battle Parodies 1:===
===Verse One:===
Hello Vault Boy, i'm gonna kick your ass,
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass,
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout,
I will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout,
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face,
You're such a little bitch, no wonder Daddy ran away!
My name is Cole Phelps hoe, from L.A Noire?
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are!
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window to unlock the door,
But instead you use a lockpick and a cord?
Ouch! Hear that burn? Ain't that a Kick in the Head?
No holes in the bowl, eat irraidiated bread!
You let those stupid casino guys take all your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to Megaton!
You're a villified villian, and I'm taking you in,
Have you freakin' questioned by my partner Herschel Biggs!
===Verse Two:===
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt, or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise..
Doin' what I do? It makes me cha-ching!
I know where things are when I hear (Da-ding).
===Epic Rap Battle Parodies 20:===
===Verse One:===
They call me the Dark Shadow, but I am still very bright,
But you? Not so much challenging me to another fight!
Quit pointing your thumb at me, shove it up your ass!
You comic book bastard, this case will be over fast!
You're just a puppet to Vault-Tec, bobbing your head to what they say,
I'll once again shoot you up, make the Bloody Mess spray!
My disses are so cold, yet they'll leave you in flames,
My win is more certain than you making a sucky game!
I'll hack you, then decode all of your codes,
You're just a Wastleland of space, just go walk the Lonesome Road!
I don't want to hear a pip out of you, boy, so no tricks,
Don't make me send your adolescent ass back to the "House of Sticks"!
My disses are so cold, they'll hit you harder than a nuke,
You're skilled in hand to hand combat? Than put up your dukes!
I'll interrogate you, then Use and Abuse,
I always catch the criminal, you've not been wrongly accused!
===Verse Two:===
Here's the truth, you're the reason Fallout was a flop!
I'm also Doubting the fact that you can beat this bad ass cop!
I have evidence to support me, you're a lying sack of shit!
You're not the greatest rapper ever, you're just a kid who thinks he can spit!
Listen Vault Cunt! You're really pissing me off lad,
I can write better rhymes then you when I scribble on my notepad!
I'm solving the mystery here, so all the clues come together,
You'll just continue to walk alone forever and ever!
I'm coming in fast, you're going to need a cast,
Stop treating the players like Lab Rats,
I'm entering the Vault, and what do I see?
A yellow-haired idiot, who looks about three!
I'm taking you down, I wear the crown, Let's take you downtown, Gonna make you frown,
When I take you down, You dumbass clown, You look like a fat depressed Charlie Brown!
I'm the cause of the apoclypse, i'm a hardcore Rockstar!
There's no way you can hide from me in this L.A Noire!
My investigations conclude that you're just a silly cartoon,
You've no shelter from my bombshell lines which will come down "Kaboom"!
==Trivia==
===In Epic Rap Battle Parodies:===
*Cole Phelps is the first person (in terms of video) to rap in Epic Rap Battle Parodies
*Cole Phelps is the second person (in terms of video) to rap again in Epic Rap Battle Parodies
*Cole Phelps is the first detective to rap
*Cole Phelps is the first deceased rapper to rap
Category:Epic Rap Battle Parodies
Category:Cole Phelps
Category:Justin Buckner
Category:Characters
Category:Male
Category:ERBP Season 1
Category:ERBP Season 2