Sword Rock Cafe

an adventure starring Firebreathing Kittens Wing, Willy, and Jade. 
Tweet length description: A mystical sword stands in the way of the popular coffee store chain Moondollar. Only Jade, Willy, Wing and Nugget can remove the sword by solving ancient riddles and establishing condos for spiders.
Setting: 
Non Player Characters: 
* Wendell Rogers, hipster waiter
* Mac Enchies, construction foreman
* Cassandra Fibblyback
* Rex Mecatol
Plot Summary: 
Our story today starts at a fancy little café called J’Taim, where our heroes Jade, Willy, Wing and of course little Nugget are enjoying some drinks and pastries. Adding to the charm of the establishment is the waiter Wendell Rogers, who quite happily serves his customers but is somewhat distracted by a heated and loud argument going on across the street. 
Seemingly oblivious to the commotion, the members of the Firebreathing Kittens are doing their best to enjoy their pastries, though Wing doesn’t seem to like them very much. He can’t seem to taste any of the pastries, even though his friends say that they’re quite good. Furthermore, all of Wing’s feathers seem to have fallen out, giving him a plucked chicken look, which is a cause of some concern to Jade and Willy. They try to discern what might be going on with Wing and whether or not he might be sick. 
In the meantime, Wendell the waiter is informing the group about Consent, cruelty free vegan butter, which seems very nice but very expensive. There is also some light shed on the nature of the loud argument that was going on across the street as one of the two people arguing, a female mage by the name of Cassandra Fibblyback, comes over to join the queue for coffee at J’Taim. Curious about the situation, the group gleans some information from her. Apparently the area that they’re all currently in, the Clothing District, is undergoing some renovations to make the district more gentrified. While this was going well, one building is causing some problems. And this is of course the building across the street, in front of which the mage was arguing with Mac Enchies. This foreman is the latest in a long line of construction workers who have been hired by several different enterprises to renovate the building to get it more in line with the rest of the clothing district. 
A naturally curious bunch, our inquisitive Firebreathing Kittens set out to find out what is going on with the building, for the greater good of the Clothing District and possibly for a supply of Consent, cruelty free vegan butter. While Willy talks with Mac, Jade takes Wing and Nugget over to her house to try out some clothes to help resolve his plucked chicken look. After some back and forth they settle on a kilt. Willy finds out from Mac that Moondollar coffee has purchased the building and wants to turn the site into one of its franchises. Unfortunately, in the exact spot where the espresso machine has to go sits a large stone with a sword in it. Both the sword and the stone seem to be impossible to move. Something inside Willy stirs at the mention of this sword, and a burning desire to acquire it fills him. As the rest of the Firebreathing gang joins up with Willy they all decide to head into the building with Mac. While inside the building they are wearing hardhats of course, since Mac runs a safe worksite. 
Exactly as Mac described it, there sat the sword in the stone, which evoked images of faraway legends. Willy takes some time to try and attune to the sword and seems to tap into a former life which gives him oracular visions of the sword, a great old one and a buried temple. But sadly, Willy is unable to properly attune to the sword and turn it into his bonded weapon, as the sword seems to exhibit a different and much older form of magic than today's mages are using. Jade, Nugget, Wing and eventually Willy try to pull the sword out of the stone, but it seems impossible to budge. 
Jade decides to turn to magic for the solution and strikes out with a searing smite! The sword seems untouched by this attack, the floor around the stone however is not. It burns and cracks open, revealing an opening which leads to an underground tunnel. Our brave Kittens venture into the tunnel, finding it connected via an old door to the storage room of J’Taim where a large supply of Consent, cruelty free vegan butter, was stored. The other end of the tunnel led to a spiral staircase that led down, deep underground. There seemed to be a strange magical liquid in the spiral staircase, and though others might have hesitated Willy did not, as he bravely stepped into it. Seeing that it was safe, Jade, Wing and Nugget followed suit. The group was led to an underground structure of ancient design which might be connected to the temple Willy saw in his vision. 
The rooms in the temple contain magical holograms which seem to have quite a lot of glitches in their speech, hinting at the age and degradation of the place. The group comes to a room containing two stone golems and a riddle which has largely faded away. With some effort, Jade and Willy piece together the words of the riddle, but even with the riddle it seems hard to determine which of the two doors in the room is the right one to go through as one of the doors has collapsed. Wing is convinced he knows which door is the right one so he enters it, gets shocked, and is then teleported back to the start of the room. However, all his items have vanished, leaving him once more as a featherless, plucked, Corvidian chick. He gets a pair of oversized trousers so he at least has something to wear. Now that one door has been tested, the group makes its way through the other door, which is a bit of a tight squeeze since part of the doorway has collapsed. 
The connecting room contains many beautiful stained glass windows and 2 boxes. One of the boxes contains the dusty bones of what was once a tiny creature. The glitching magical hologram informs the group that they have to get the familiar in one of the boxes to the other box while protecting it. Because the only thing remaining is dust and bones, this seems to be an impossible task. And to make matters worse, the stained glass windows come to life and turn into glass golems which attack the Kittens! A fight ensues, in which Jade uses her martial prowess to go toe to toe with the glass golems with Nugget at her side, Willy uses his eldritch powers to blast the glass golems, and Wing shoots magical webs to slow the golems down. The webs attract hordes of tiny spiders which seem overjoyed at these new housing opportunities for them, but their joy was short lived as a lot of them get crushed under heavy glass feet. With Jade’s urging, Nugget eventually dashes across the room, and fits his little drake butt into the other box, which satisfies the conditions of this challenge. The glass golems become stained glass windows once more and the group is allowed to advance. 
Finally they reach the chamber where Rex Mecatol, a mage from a bygone age, is waiting for them. He is quite surprised however, as he was expecting the prophesized hero, who was supposed to take the sword from the stone and defeat the great old one. Instead he is confronted by Willy, who channels the King of All Creation and informs him that he IS the great old one and he wants the sword. Taken aback, Rex doesn’t quite know how to respond and is fumbling until Jade informs him that this is now the third age and things are pretty good. We have cappuccino now. This reassures Rex, who figures that the third age and this seemingly great old one can’t be that bad. Being tired of waiting in this temple for centuries, he agrees to give the sword to Willy and join the group for some coffee outside of the temple. He is also kind enough to give Wing’s stuff back, so he doesn’t have to be naked anymore. 
The sword and the stone are now removed from the building and Mac is overjoyed. He thanks the group and says that they can just keep this whole sword business between them. He also gives the group a hefty sum of gold from his bonus from the job, which can now finish ahead of schedule.
Memorable Quotes:
"Consent butter!" -Pretty much everyone at some point
"I am the Great Old One!" -Scary voiced Willy
"Welcome to the Third Age, we have cappuccino." -Jade
Category:Episodes