The Last Scrapbook/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "The Last Scrapbook".
== ==
(The episode starts with a story being shown.)
Poppy: Imagine a world of magic, a world of piñata giants! And Lady Marigold, a strong, kind-hearted heroine on a quest to reclaim the Party Hat of Destiny from the evil Madame Maelstrom. Plus, 270 characters, 52 realms and a tangled web of backstory told out of chronological order. It’s “The Glitterborn Chronicles,” the greatest series of Pop Troll fantasy scrapbooks ever scissored! (giggles)
Holly: Sounds complicated.
Poppy: (Flapping her arms) It is! But don’t worry; author R. T. Plumegrass wrote a dense companion anthology to explain it all. (She places a huge scrapbook on the table and Holly screams.) Though R. T. Plumegrass is just a pen name, the author’s actual identity is a baffling mystery. (giggles) Isn’t that great?!
Holly: Y’all! Y’all! (She leaves, making Poppy sad.)
Poppy: Oh… (She climbs off the table and huge scrapbook.) Oh, Lady Marigold. (Lady Marigold appears.)
Lady Marigold: (chuckles) What troubles you, Your Grace?
Poppy: I really thought with all these new friends in TrollsTopia, I’d find someone to share Glitterborn with. I don’t suppose you’d have a few hours to talk about book 5?
Lady Marigold: Ooh, Your Grace, well, I’m not much of a fantasy reader. But something tells me your fortunes are about to change.
Poppy: Ah? (She opens the book and sees a bookmark in the shape of an electric guitar.) Someone left a scrapbook mark? Of an electric guitar? (She gasps in amazement. At Rock Hollow, Val closes the book she is reading and sighs. She has a burgundy blanket over her. Poppy pops up from behind the couch.) Val Thundershock likes Glitterborn Chronicles! VAL THUNDERSHOCK!
Val: Pfft! What?! (She gets off the couch.) No. I only like stuff that’s hardcore. I got this to… prop up my wobbly table. (She places her book under her table, causing the stuff on it to fall.) OK, I’m completely obsessed.
Poppy: (Moving the fallen table out of the way) What?! When?! How?! Say things!
Val: Ugh. I went looking for a book to help get my head around a new solo I’m working on. I thought this said “Guitar Brain Chronicles”. I was about to put it back when something called out to me. I haven’t stopped reading it since.
Poppy: (gasps) Val, don’t you see what this means?! We can share our passion for Glitterborn together! I wanna a squeal! Do you wanna squeal?!
Val: I don’t wanna squeal. (She sits back down while Poppy squeals. Then she hops up on the couch.)
Poppy: What do you love most about GBC?
Val: (Closing her book) Oh, that’s easy. The heroine, Madame Maelstrom.
Poppy: (gasps) Madame Maelstrom? No, Val. Lady Marigold. She has the compassion, the bravery, and she says the inspiring line: “May the shimmer of glitter brighten your day, and the sparkle inside you show you the way.”
Val: Boo. Madame Maelstrom’s got the cunning, the edge, and her dragons keep the realm on its toes. (chuckles) Dragons… 
Poppy: No, no, no! I don’t believe this! I finally find someone who reads Glitterborn and you’re rooting for the villain?!
Val: Hero!
Poppy: Villain!
Val: HERO!
Poppy: VILLAIN! (She and Val scream.)
Val: Face it, Popsqueak; even when we like the same book, we can’t get on the same page! Now I’m off to go check out book 7. Alone.
Poppy: Book 7? But, Val, there is no book 7.
Val: Say that again.
Poppy: The series, it has no ending. R. T. Plumegrass never wrote one. (Val’s ear shakes.) Val? Val, you OK?
Val: Excuse me one second. (She screams while jumping and playing her guitar. Then she throws it aside.) ‘Kay. Here’s what’s gonna happen. You and me are gonna hunt down the author, and find out once and for all who gets to wear the Party Hat of Destiny!
Poppy: But, Val, I’ve scoured the books for clues. None of them reveals R. T. Plumegrass’ real identity.
Val: Show me. (Poppy is showing a chart with pictures of Trolls.)
Poppy: This is every Pop Troll in TrollsTopia. The author’s someone from my dad’s generation, so that eliminates these. (She removes some pictures.) And if you look at these scissor cuts, the angle and trajectory suggest a left-handed scrapper. (She removes more pictures.) And finally, a strand of the author’s hair trapped beneath the scrapbook tape. But it’s useless without sample hairs to compare it to.
Val: (chuckles) Leave that to me. (She looks through different hair.) There. Hairbrushes from the remaining suspects. That’ll give you all the samples we need.
Poppy: Val! Did you steal these?
Val: No, I borrowed them.
Poppy: Well, for the sake of moving these forward, I choose to believe that. (She looks at a picture of Sky Toronto.) We’ve eliminated every Troll but one. Which means the author is none other than… (She and Val gasp and see a picture of Rufus. They then go to see him.)
Rufus: Me? Rufus? One of them hoity-toity book scrappers? (laughs) Can you imagine? Ol’ Rufus a-cuttin’ and a-pastin’ and a… (singsong) A, a, a-cuttin’ and a pastin’. (laughs) Shoot. Wouldn’t that be something.
Poppy: Yeah, I didn’t think so. (She starts to leave.) Sorry to bother you, Rufus.
Val: Wait! Poppy, what are you doing? He’s our Troll.
Poppy: I know my, friends, Val, and I’ve never seen Rufus take interest in scrapbooking, ever.
Val: Ugh. Hm… So long, Rufus! May the shimmer of glitter brighten your day.
Rufus: And the sparkle inside you help show you the way! (He and Poppy gasp.) I mean, have a ding-dong-hootenanny humdinger as the crow flies, two in the bush… Gotta go! (He zooms off while Val laughs. Then she grabs him with her hair.)
Poppy: Rufus?! Y-you are the alias R. T. Plumegrass?!
Rufus: Well, shucks. You’re half right, Queen Poppy. I did scrapbook The Glitterborn Chronicles. But the fact is, it is Rufus who is the alias. (He removes his hat and takes out a cane.) My real name is R. T. Plumegrass. (Poppy and Val gasp.) Well, you see, when I first snipped Glitterborn, I, R. T. Plumegrass, was young and full of ideas. But when it came time for an ending, the scissors went still.
Poppy and Val: Aw!
Rufus: And so I quit! And left the world of glitterature behind. With a new name, a new voice, and thus, Rufus was born.
Poppy: Aw. There must be something we can do to help.
Rufus: I’m afraid not. Not unless you have an ending. Hm?
Val: You, R. T. Plumegrass, want us…
Poppy: To write the ending?! I wanna squeal! Do you wanna squeal?!
Val: Once. (She and Poppy squeal.) Let us never speak of this again.
Poppy: Luckily, I’ve given the ending a lot of thought. (She takes out paper a scissors.) Picture this. Lady Marigold meets Madame Maelstrom on the Confetti Fields. And just as Maelstrom readies her dragon for an attack, Lady Marigold draws forth the Party Blower of Legend! Its sound is so beautiful that Maelstrom changes all her ways.
Madame Maelstrom: I change all my ways.
Poppy: And she willingly gives Lady Marigold the Party Hat of Destiny.
Val: But of course, that would be a terrible ending.
Lady Marigold and Madame Maelstrom: Huh?
Val: Which is why it turns out, Madame Maelstrom was just waiting for Lady Marigold to let her guard down. (Madame Maelstrom laughs.) And then we learn the Glitterborn will never return. Because prophesy and destiny aren’t real. And life is hard. The end.
Poppy: What?! She can’t win! You’re missing the whole point of the series!
Val: But the edginess makes it fun!
Poppy: What about friendship?!
Val: Dragons don’t lose, Poppy! It’s dragon science.
Rufus: ENOUGH! You see? This frustration is precisely why I left the books behind. I suggest you do the same. Now if you’ll excuse me… (He changes back into his original outfit.) I’ve got me a hoedown to get to. (He dances away.)
Poppy: Guess you were right, Val. You and I can’t get on the same page.
Val: Guess not. (The girls walk away from each other. Poppy takes out her book.)
Poppy: Oh, Lady Marigold. (Lady Marigold appears.)
Lady Marigold: What troubles you, Your Grace?
Poppy: It’s Val. It really seemed like Glitterborn was bringing us closer together. But do you know what she wanted to do with the ending? She wanted Madame Maelstrom to win.
Lady Marigold: Madame Maelstrom? How intriguing.
Poppy: I know! I… Wait, what?
Lady Marigold: (Taking Poppy’s book) Such a bold and unexpected turn of events. Well, that’s the kind of ending that would get people talking.
Poppy: What? You like Val’s ending?
Lady Marigold: Oh, yes, Your Grace. This Val sounds awfully creative. You should definitely listen to her.
Poppy: Hm… (She runs back to Rock Hollow.) We should do the ending your way!
Val: Aah! Poppy! What?
Poppy: I know this sounds crazy, but Lady Marigold visited me in my imagination and showed me that you appreciate Glitterborn on a level I never did before and I am so sorry I didn’t listen to you and-
Val: (Holding up her hand) Poppy! I get it.
Poppy: You do?
Val: Madame Maelstrom visited me and showed me the same thing as you. (Madame Maelstrom appears.) So, I’ve got an idea. (She and Poppy go back to see Rufus.)
Poppy: We figured it out! (She takes out a picture of Lady Marigold and Madame Maelstrom.)
Val: An outline for a whole new ending to Glitterborn! (Rufus takes the picture.)
Rufus: Wait. (He changes into his author outfit.) You’re proposing that Lady Marigold and Madame Maelstrom join forces and work together?
Poppy: Stranger things have happened.
Rufus: This, it’s heartfelt, but edgy. The ending ambiguous, yet satisfyingly complete. I will begin scrapbooking at once!
Poppy: And now that you have an ending, you can go back to being R. T. Plumegrass.
Rufus: Huh. That’s true, but I’m actually rather fond of being Rufus. Now… (He changes back into his original outfit again.) I’ve got some snippety-snip-snippin’ to get to! Whoo, doggy! Cut-cut sticky-sticky, look at me now, Ma! (He leaves.)
Poppy: So, Val, I don’t suppose you’d have a few hours to talk about book 5?
Val: No. We gotta start at book 1!
Poppy: (gasps) Wait.
Val: OK.
Poppy: How about we talk about chapter 113… (Lady Marigold and Madame Maelstrom are seen holding hands.)
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