Ristar 7: Intergallactic race wars

== Plot ==
This game takes place in a universe where Ristar survives Sonk Ristar by shooting a civil rights beam out of his eyes powered by the Anti-gayralds into Dark Ristars stomach making him auto abort Sonk Ristar onto the floor killing him instantly. Dark Ristar instantly becomes depressed leaving Ristar an empty victory and a dead baby on the floor. Ristar then leaves to go to the other Half of the universe after failing to fix the gay gas epidemic. Instead going after Barkley the corn demons supposed drug ring. In each planet he goes to he must race the drug catels best men and gain their trust in order to infiltrate the bases and destroy the cartel from the inside exploding the drugs using your new brass knuckles on your fists. Dark Ristar rarely appears throughout the game having the least amount of screen time since Ristar: 3 only showing up to try and get some drugs in the 4th planet never explaining what he is doing in the other half of the universe.
== Gameplay ==
Unlike most Ristar games this game has a big focus on racing in a style of mario kart but the powerups are all illegal drugs, making Ristar unable to use them unless he wants the bad ending. It's only until world 3 where you can use powerups legally, Those being a rocket punch (red shell mechanics) a toaster oven (bullet bill) spike shots (fire flower) and crystal boost (mushroom). When you win a race you can enter that worlds drug factory and sneak around the base platforming until you find the drug stash and blowing it up with your fist.
== Script ==
Ristar: Well now that that's over i guess i should try to fix this whole mess
(fails to fix the half of the universe)
Ristar: Well that failed i guess i should try to see whats going on in the other half.
Harribo: Ristar Ristar it's terrible!
Ristar: What is?
Harribo: A man named Barkley the cornbread demon has started a drug ring on all the planets i tried to get away because i hate drugs!
Ristar: What kind of drugs
Harribo: Bad drugs, crystal meth
Ristar: That settles it how can i stop this?
Harribo: You;d have to gain their trust somehow. I heard they race regualy to find new deliverers
Ristar: That just might work, if you helped me win the races i could destroy the drugs!
Harribo: I heard the drugs are disolvent and burn proof, you'd have to combust them.
Ristar: But how?
Harribo: Here take these (hands ristar brass knuckles)
Ristar: Thanks (puts on brass knuckles)
*after destroying all drug cartels*
BTCD: Dammit Ristar you have taken down my 7 crystal meth cartels and now i must destroy you myself.
(5 hour battle ensues)
Ristar: You've gotten stronger than before.
BTCD: Considering that i havn't used my ultimate form i'd think so
Ristar: Ultimate form?
BTCD: You poor fool you seem to have forgotten (Transforms into Barkley The Alternate universe mega hyper form gold version hoopz vitale Cornbread demon)
Ristar: Oh shit i did forget that
BTAUMHFGVHVCD: You fool with this and my new power i can destroy you easily (snorts large amounts of Crystal meth) aHAhahheahAHAahHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Ristar: oh no thats not good what now?
(Ristar russels through his shoes trying to find my something ultimatly finding sunglasses)
Ristar: This could work
BTAUMHFGVHVCD: You fool you cannot put those on for you are not cool enough to.
Ristar: Idiot you forgot i took down your drug cartels and destroying massive organized crime, nothing is cooler, not even drinking sunny d
BTAUMFGVHVCD: WAIT NO DON'T
(Ristar puts on sunglasses emitting a cool aura)
BTAUMFGVHVCD: THE COOLNESS I CANNOT TAKE IT
Sunglasses Ristar: Shut up cracker
(BTAUMFGVHVCD procedes to explode)
Ristar: I did it i saved the world
== If Ristar did drugs before world 3 ==
Luo Albano: Ristar you idiot do you know what you have done?
Ristar: What do you mean?
Luo Albano: You have done drugs, and as punishment you will go to hell
Ristar: I can only go to hell when i die stupid
Luo Albano: When you do drugs you go to hell before you die you damned fool
Ristar: No im not ready to suffer!
Luo Albano: Do i look like a care (shoots pasta beams out of eyes)
(ristar goes to hell giving a game over)
== Trivia ==
* If you can beat the speedrun mode after beating the game in 1:00 which is off the current world record of 52:37. You unlock Raisin Ristar who specilises in drift working amazingly on world 6.
* After beating the game you unlock Sunglasses Ristar who is the most balenced character except for his above average acceleration.
* Despite many tries and data mining you cannot unlock Barkley the corn demon as a playable racer, despite the creators saying that he is playable.
* If you beat speedrun mode with Raisin Ristar you unlock feel who is a copy of Ristar except all drifts using Ristar's long arms is instead Feel's nose hairs. This is noncanon according to the creators.
* Dark Ristar is a playable fighter if you 100% the game and is able to use the drug powerups without reprehension.
Category:Games