Family Sponge Viewer Mail No. 1

Family SpongeBob Viewer Mail No. 1
A three part episode, inspired by letters from viewers.
Season: 3 Episode: 21
Total Episode Count: 49
Prod. no.: 3ACX12
Featuring: Squidward Tentacles, Plankton, Sandy Cheeks, SpongeBob SquarePants, Pearl Krabs, Patrick Star, Fred Rechid, Tom, John Fishly, Nort Goldman, Carter Cheeks, Barbara Cheeks
Also Appearing: Kelly Ripa, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones, The Count, *NSYNC, Scooby-Doo, Genie, Dr. Forrest, Death, Hector, Mayor Johnny East, Gene Shalit, Bob Eubanks, Michael Winslow, Barbra Walters, Meredith Vieira, Lisa Ling, Star Jones, Joy Behar
Plot: Squidward and Plankton introduce the show, consisting of three short stories in response to requests they have received from viewers
==No Bones About It==
SpongeBob finds a genie who offers him three wishes. He first wish is to see what Kelly Ripa is like off-camera (she is a horrible alien who eats living men's still-beating hearts), and his second wish is for his own theme music, which plays everywhere he goes. On a city bus, an angry bus passenger grows irritated when SpongeBob's music and threatens to break every bone in his body. SpongeBob quickly wishes that he was boneless and collapses into a fleshy heap, which causes Goldberg to miss hitting SpongeBob and fall out the bus window, but leaves SpongeBob with a grotesque appearance. When the townspeople react with revulsion and horror towards him, and even his own friends find him odd, SpongeBob fells rejected. His friends are annoyed at SpongeBob's twelve baths a day because his bonless self gets dirty easily, so SpongeBob decides it is best that he leaves his friends, so he allows himself to go down the drain and resurface in Los Angeles, where he gets a job as a human cushion for stuntman. There SpongeBob's bonelessness is considered an asset, and he is accepted by the Hollywood types. A Hollywood starlet is impressed with SpongeBob's ability and offers to date him, but SpongeBob misses his friends, though. When a doctor offers an experimental surgery to restore his skeleton, he takes the chance. The operation is successful, but he is horribly misshapen; he learns that his friends donated bones to transplant into his body, which misshaped them as well and they all painfully amble away together, with SpongeBob mentioning that the operation was covered by his HMO.
==Super Gang==
After being exposed to toxic waste, the gang find they now have superhuman powers. Plankton's head grows even larger and he gains telekinetic abilities; Patrick is able to start fires by thought; SpongeBob can change himself into any person or object; Sandy becomes super-strong; Squidward can move at incredible speed, traveling around the world nearly instantaneously; and Pearl gains "super-amazing" ability to make her fingernails grow and shrink on command. Despite initial intentions to use their powers for good, they soon terrorize Bikini Bottom for personal gain. After Sandy refuses to but Plankton a candy bar, he steals it and attacks the cashier at a supermarket using his power. Later, Sandy is caught in traffic, and decides to lift the car across traffic, crushing various cars as well as injuring the people in them. Pearl begs SpongeBob to get a pice of Justin Timberlake's hair when he comes to Bikini Bottom. He turns into Britney Spears, takes to much of his hair, and turns into Gene Shalit when they kiss to freak him out. Patrick is angry at a boy who called him Patrick Fart, and sets him on fire because of it, which the fire then spreads ti burn down the high school. Squidward uses his speed to steal Martini's from an attractive woman at a bar, when he stops he is extremely intoxicated and collapses. Later, the people of Bikini Bottom are realizing the chaos the Supergang are causing, and the gang take over town. Mayor Johnny East douses himself in toxic waste, hoping for powers with which to combat the gang, but develops lymphoma instead. With Mayor East in the hospital the gang sees the error of their ways and dedicate themselves to good and helping East recover.
==Lil' SquarePants==
In a parody of The Little Rascals, as well as younger versions of famous cartoon characters such as The Flinstone Kids and Muppet Babies, five-year-old SpongeBob, Squidward, Fred, John, Tom, and Mayor East revel in their "We Hate Broads Club." When young Sandy Cheeks joins their school, however, SpongeBob and Fred are love-stricken. Attempting to impress Sandy, both boys promise to spend the night in a spooky abandoned house to prove their courage. Wacky hijinks ensue as each group tries to scare each other; when they see an apparently "real" ghost, they all flee in terror. Sandy says that she is no longer impressed by bravery, however, and introduces Nort Goldman, whose intelligence she likes. SpongeBob and Fred swear off girls forever in disgust; thirty-five years later they are still woman less but, without the distraction of women, they have become incredibly wealthy (and are having sex with buttered bagels).
==Trivia==
*This entire episode is non-canon.
==Rating==
TV-14: D
==Gallery==
Cdvddf.png|French title card
Fsbm.png|Japanese title card
Edfee.png|Spanish title card
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