The D.B. Cooper Case

Hee-Hee, I could hear your bones rattling as you all came in Kiddies.  And SHRIEKING of bones, I, CREEPS, have a tale that shall rattle them even GORE I mean more ha-ha!  In my old BOOGEYMAN-BOOK OF BILE-FILES here, about a HISTORIC HI-HACKER who escaped a SCARE-LINE by SCARE-A-CHUTE, entitled...
It was on a Summer night back in 1977, deep in the woods near Ariel, Washington, where a man sat around a roaring-campfire in a lawn chair.  He roasted hot dogs on a stick and glanced back at his tent in the light of the fire.  As the man kept on cooking his hot dogs, the sound of a harmonica playing: "Home On The Range" was heard suddenly.  The man saw a dark-figure approach the campground, playing the song on the harmonica.  "Hello there.  Are you hungry sir or ma'am?" the man said, asking the figure.  "Hello sir, yes" the figure in the dark replied in a man's voice.  The man stayed away from the glow of the campfire and he said to the man in the lawn chair, "I have been in these woods a very long time now mister.  But what rattles me is this is the area where that airline-hijacker D.B. Cooper disappeared in back right before Thanksgiving in nineteen seventy-one."  "Oh, yes, I heard about that guy all over the news when it happened" the man in the lawn chair said.  
"I don't think he survived.  I think he landed in a big tree and snapped his neck trying to free himself from his parachute!" the darkened-figure of the man proposed.  "Really?  Who knows" the other man added, moving his stick of hot dogs around.  "Anyways, uh, would you like something to eat sir?" the man in the lawn chair asked the stranger.  "Yes thanks mister" he answered.  The man with the stick waited a few moments with the hot dogs away from the fire.  Then he said to the stranger, "careful mister, they are hot of course".  The stranger came into the light of the campfire and he was a living dead skeleton in an old black suit and tie with moss all over it.  
The zombie reached for a hot dog, picking it off with its boney-fingers.  The skeleton plunged it into his boney-decaying-mouth, chewing with his rotting-teeth and decomposed-jawbone.  The zombie turned and something fell out of its pocket, as it slowly slumped off, into the night.  The man looking petrified, got up and grabbed the thing that had fallen out of the skeleton's pocket.  It was a wallet and inside, the man found a driver's license that read: "DAN COOPER" on it.  
Well, Old D.B. COOPER tried to put a little MEAT ON HIS ROTTING-BONES with that hot dog eh?  The man probably wished that D.B. Cooper's FRIGHT was canceled at the TERRORPORT when Cooper was still alive heh-heh!  So much for Cooper visiting the guy's CAMPFRIGHT aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.