I, Scott Pilgrim/Ramona

Ramona is the first episode of I, Scott Pilgrim.
== Cast ==
== Transcript ==
*Stephen: Wait, you're dating a high schooler?
*Scott: Yeah, so?
*Stephen: Isn't that underage?
*Scott: Uh... Maybe?
*Kim: That's not cool, Scott. I mean, you're, like, forty.
*Scott: I'm twenty-two, Kim. Twenty-two.
*Kim: So?
*Scott: So, she's seventeen. There's not that big a gap between us.
*Neil: You haven't, like... "done it"... have you...?
*Scott: She almost held my hand once but she got embarrassed and pulled away. Why?
*Neil: That would be gross.
*Stephen: Have you kissed her?
*Scott: Nah, almost hand holding is as far as we've gotten.
*Kim: Sounds like one hell of a relationship...
*Scott: Shut up.
*Neil: So how did you meet her?
*Scott: She dropped her books and I picked them up for her.
*Neil: What's her name again?
*Scott: Knives.
*Kim: ...That was the shortest story I've ever heard in my life.
*Scott: It wasn't meant to be that long.
*Stephen: Well, yeah, but I mean... You just picked up books for her and now you're dating her? That's not weird at all to you?
*Scott: No, not really. Rom-coms do that all the time.
*Kim: Do you realize this is real life or have you finally snapped and you're no longer able to tell the difference between reality and fiction?
*Scott: If it’s fiction, then I won’t be able to feel the pain when I slap you.
*Kim: Wait for What?
He slaps her. The room goes quiet and Kim looks at Scott with a totally blank expression. It suddenly cuts to Scott walking home with a black eye and holding his nose with a piece of bloody tissue.
* Scott: Well that was dumb.
He walks into an apartment building and into his room where Wallace Wells is reading a newspaper.
*Scott: Before you hear any lies, I'm dating a high schooler and I haven't done anything with her.
*Wallace: Is he cute?
*Scott: Ha ha ha... very funny.
*Wallace: Does this mean we'll have to stop sleeping together?
*Scott: Do you see any other beds?
Wallace looks around the apartment.
*Wallace: Huh. You're totally my bitch forever.
*Scott: More like victim. I‘d sleep the furthest away from you, if I got a choice.