122682-2-18-2015-zero-to-fifty-tldr

== Content ==
			
After being chiseled out of a block of solid ice, thawed for 48 hours in a tank of viscous fluid, and handed a cup of coffee, I am now ready to TL;DR this live stream.  Unfortunately, this livestream begins by not being ready to be TL;DRed.  Audio issues plague the duo again as the stream finally comes to life.  We begin by seeing that Tony has, indeed, found his hat again.  DD begins by trying out a new version of the YMCA.  0S0....  There was also a huge windows update across all their machines.  Tony blames Skynet and believes it is real.  Strange he works on a game that glorifies the Caretaker.  DD bows in subservience to our robotic overlords.  We finally get the stream underway.
 
-The news this week is that there is no news, at least not that they can tell us.  Thus ends today's TL;DR of Zero to Fifty!  I'm going to get in game and... oh.... there actually is a stream.  Oh well.
 
-The new chapter of the Interactive History of Wildstar continues with Brightland's Rebellion.  Go here if you want to read about Serrick Brightland.  Spoilers, the Exiles form as a soccer team that decides to rebel instead of be relegated from the Champion's League after a tough loss to Man City.
 
-Tony doesn't want to waste any more time, LET'S GET INTO SOME GAMEPLAY!  Or.... let's not.  We also receive news that the community team has contracted ebola from their stay in Sierra Leone, and their days are numbered.  Are we done wasting time yet, Tony?  No?  Tony would like to increase his vitamin C intake.  I would assume that would mean eating fruit, which I have researched and found to be a form of plant matter that is consumed in areas outside the Midwestern US.  THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GAMEPLAY, TONY!
 
-DD offers helpfully that she's doped up.  Tony really doesn't feel comfortable with her saying that.  DD wonders why and Non doesn't shoot her, so obviousl it must be okay.  Tony may just not need that kind of publicity to put a hit on his criminal record.  They don't perform FBI background checks on community managers, after all, but he could get in trouble if he violates his parole again by being near users.
 
-Tony says he has hit 20!  ZOGM!  20!  Tony does make good on that by wanting to put together a five man team for STL or KV.  They put together a five man of themselves, Dasmoose, Scrappy Jack, and Roda.  Tony asks the stream where they want him to die, and insinuates that he'd like to kill DD.  That certainly makes the stream more interesting, waiting for the day Tony snaps and goes on a murderous, Coke Zero fueled rampage!
 
-After a few minutes of organization, trial and error, and hilarity, the five seem to discover that, indeed, they may have to actually have one of them tank and one of them heal to run a dungeon.  Unfortunately, Tony doesn't have any tanking or healing friends.  SOMEONE MAN UP!
 
-Tony decides to continue working on quests, and mounts up.  It looks like there's a disco ball on his retroblade.  From this, we can discern two things.  First, Tony's definitely got 2FA.  Second, Tony doesn't know how to disco.  This is how you disco, Tony.
 
-Tony has outrun his group, and seems to think he is platforming God.  Oh, don't worry Tony.  You want to go climbing?  I know some SERIOUS platformers.  We'll have you come climb some sheer cliff faces and see what kind of man you are! .... If you don't get lost the way you are now.  Seriously, Tony's like a child getting lost at a supermarket.  Everyone wants to help him, but we don't want our intentions misunderstood...
 
-DD says they'll die if she queues healer, because she's a Stalker.  No, DD, the Espers and Spellslingers heal.  Like Tony.  Tony scolds his group for being too interested in murder to go support.  He'd heal, but he barely knows how to use more than one damage ability, much less manage his healing LAS.  Tony freaks out, thinking a door is about to cut his tail off.  Watch your ass Tony.... see what I did there?
 
-I'm not going to lie, the next few minutes of this are Tony using his quick draw ability over and over.  While doing so, he sits next to DD coughing like a doctor is checking him for a hernia.  I'm sure this scene is how many unhappy couples had to spend Valentine's Day.  Coughing in silence while they desperately try not to look at each other, wondering why they wasted the best years of their lives with each other.  YOU RUINED HER LIFE, TONY!  SHE WAS SO YOUNG AND GORGEOUS AND FULL OF LIFE, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!  DD tops it off by finally breaking the awkwardness with an, "Oh!"  And when Tony asks about it, she says, "Nothing..."  Yeah, that's how that works....
 
-Tony's still a little butthurt about nearly having his tail cut off.  I kill me!
 
-Tony says he is the worst leader ever because he can't seem to find his way out of the canyon.  I'm just thinking he's a horrible quester because he actually clearly needs to kill the Pell in the canyon.  Exclamation points on the nameplates, Tony, they're a clue.  Tony fails a challenge... of course he does.  He celebrates this by doing, I kid you not, the worst Sean Connery impression I've ever heard.  EVERYONE does a better Connery than that, Tony!  EVERYONE!
 
-Tony sees an Osun, and is impressed by their size.  He thinks their big bulging muscles and towering posture mean they must be serious business.  They must be ultra powerful!  He puts his team together, and of course kills the solo mob in a few shots.  Tony has learned, as many young girls have, that big men with big muscles aren't really always that impressive.  Especially ones with hammers so big you know they're compensating.
 
-Tony accidentally pulls a pair of mobs and does a decent job of not dying.  He's learning!  He then says the hardest thing about playing is learning to maintain range.  He must read our advice/recommendations/blatant insults!  Awwww!  I feel like such a good teacher!  He does say he's destroying the Osun supply of "Soultrot", though.  No, Tony, that's not a soul trot.  This is a soul trot.
 
-Tony frees the slaves by shooting them and doing his best Morgan Freeman impression.  He says this is getting edgy.  It's okay though, Tony's allowed, he's Californian.  Tony begins taking accusations of bigotry.  That's how it is, not being able to leave behind our racially divided past.  Why can't we all just get along and live in peace... killing random people in Galeras?
 
-The queue pops.  Since everyone is queued DPS, it pulls the first three DPS.  Tony doesn't make the team.  Probably not the first time Tony got picked last for a game of pick up ball...
 
-The queue pops a shiphand, the new shiphand "It Came From Fragment Zero!"  This is a great piece of content, so good on you devs!  Somebody trolls Tony by dropping a /horror right when he shows up.  Tony lets slip a "shit".  DD tattles on him.  Apparently, it isn't worth the nerf.
 
-Tony seems to be having lore issues with the tips of his ears poking out of his space helmet.  DD seems more worried about his tail.  I'd be more worried that we have narration appearing in the air out of nowhere.  Then again, it's just a shiphand.  I should really just relax...
 
-DD says her family hates watching movies with her since she used to work in special effects and trolls the production.  What?  I'm supposed to be reporting interesting facts!
 
-Tony tell Non not to go out for coffee, because the audio may fail.  I always wondered why there were so few devs in Morning Coffee...  Tony seems to think that, if she leaves, the computer will explode.  Apparently, the production computer is a Mac.
 
-Tony gets berated for not using his innate.  He whines about it.  Well, young man, you'll be thankful when you're in a job interview one day and they ask you to run healslinger.  Those skills are important!  Hit 'R' Tony.... HIT 'R' TONY!
 
-They mention that it's Klover's birthday.  Happy Birthday!  Wait, no it isn't, I do these a day late.  Whatever, I'm sure I'll remember next year.
 
-Tony is having fun with lasers!  Don't we all?  Tony learns though, these beams ain't loyal.  They'll hook up with any old player.  Lasers are whores.
 
-Tony and DD begin taunting Non.  "Shhhhhut the front door!" and "Fuh-crying out loud!"  They smile at Non, and go back to playing.  Non shoots DD, because you know what, those are worse.  At least, if you curse, the word just comes out and it's there.  It's people trying to hide cursing behind other phrases that are making those words not okay to use.  I call them "motherfakers."
 
-Tony cuts the shiphand short, because they don't have time for an extended stream.  The stream is nearly an hour long.  There is no news.  That's pretty 'extended', Tony.  Like, you could host the Grammies, you're so good at padding this out.
 
-It's time for the community shout out.  DD tries to shout out.  That's not how you shout out, DD.  This is how you shout out.  Actually, that's not how you shout out.  This is how you shout out.
 
-Tony brings up <Victorious Failures>.  They're an Exile guild that had the original idea to stream five people leveling from zero to fifty.... that actually know what they're doing and did it in less than 48 hours.  Tony says they did in 48 hours what Tony hasn't been able to show in three months.  That's not necessarily true.  We're watching Tony specifically to watch him fail!  That really should be stretched out over the course of a year or more.  The stream was called Failures to Fifty.  That's what failures do in the game, Tony.  They make it in two days!  What does that make you?  A brick of goat cheese, Tony, trying to play a video game.
 
-Fan Art will have a Valentine's Day theme this week.  Sort of.  DD spent Valentine's Day playing D&D, which is probably one of the sexiest things I've ever heard (tell me, baby, I know my charisma ain't so high, but do I gotta chance roll?)  Community art has a sexy drawing by Dayblush (which Tony seems to really enjoy, but I'm not pleased by the lack of sexy Granok women in this fan art), Typrop's pair of lovable Chua, and Shoogli's mock up of the Abbey Road album cover with Lopp.  Send in your fan art of all stripes and varieties to fanart@wildstar-online.com
 
-DD shows us all where she has her Wildstar tattoo.  I'll let you who didn't watch guess where it is.  Tony doesn't have a tattoo.  Luckily, he won't show us, then...
 
-Tony is frightened back into the game by DD just showing up on his housing plot.  Way to be manly, Tony.  Tony crated up a lot of his plot lately and is in the process of building a new base out of building blocks.  Tony asks if anyone wants him to switch to a hatch plug house.  He's also working on his bar partition wall.  Tony may be a little addicted to housing.  He says he can't build all the stuff there in real life.  Take it from someone who actually does architecture in real life, Wildstar's housing is a lot more fun.  The Exiles don't send a representative to point out that your staircase doesn't have a handrail, you have no ADA access down to the ground floor level, and there's only one means of egress from an assembly area.
 
That's it.  We're done.  My hot wings just arrived, and that should warm up my core.  Also, my new core just arrived, and that should fix my computer.  Not that I'm going to do that.  It's 9.  I want to play.  *cupcake* off.	
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I love watching your opinion of Tony's gaming abilities corrode over time. :P
 
5-13-2024 Zero to Fifty TL;DR:
It is done.
Toe Knee has finally reached fifty.
The reign of terror is over.
We are safe.
We are safe.	
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{| class="blockquote"
I love watching your opinion of Tony's gaming abilities corrode over time. :P
 
5-13-2024 Zero to Fifty TL;DR:
It is done.
Toe Knee has finally reached fifty.
The reign of terror is over.
We are safe.
We are safe.
----
			
{| class="blockquote"
-Tony decides to continue working on quests, and mounts up.  It looks like there's a disco ball on his retroblade.  From this, we can discern two things.  First, Tony's definitely got 2FA.  Second, Tony doesn't know how to disco.  This is how you disco, Tony.
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{| class="blockquote"
I handed the disco ball to him a couple weeks ago, before Drop 4. I had that thing since my 3rd boom box at launch. I never had a character I wanted to use it on and I figured he might actually rock that bad boy. I'm not sure if they've gone BoP now that you can buy them with Elder Gems, I just wanted to make sure I got it out of my bank before the drop.
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{| class="blockquote"
Something tells me this is Tony's disco ball experience.
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