Craptain Mclaw

= Oh wow. You found him. Yipee. =
=== - The One ===
== Overview ==
God this guy sucks. We FAWNED over him forEVER, when he was just military man with shotgun. I HAD AN INSANE MAN WITH COSMIC SCHIZOPHRENIA AND TELEKINESIS FROM INTERDIMENSIONAL BEINGS AND THEY WERE COMPARABLE SOMEHOW
He wears a stupid hat with a stupid visor you can see his stupid eyebrows through or something.
== Biography ==
Wow look, Ian is making comics! I wanna do that! (Tries for 8 minutes before stealing from Twitter to fill in content)
Yeah. That's all this dumbass is. Wasted potential that'll stay wasted, because you're nothing. A nobody. If you're reading this, why don't you saunder on over like you shit yourself, and delete it?
== Abilities and stuff ==
He shoots guns. Wow.
== Trivia ==
* We copyrighted him and every other Paac character we can remember along with the Pwnage I.D so you can never do ANYTHING with them again.
* He goes to da backrooms thats so cool and liminal bro bruh
* We found the Hailey video and we'll link it the microsecond you do anything that makes us remotely upset.
* We also found out you bought diapers and Bibs for Madi. What the fuck is that all about? I'm just joshin, but hey, if you're still into that, I heard she might be pregnant, so you won't have to wait long to get your fuck on when that thing pops out! Whoo man!
* He has a stupid fucking 50 cal bullet tattoo that's infected because he can't be bothered to take care of anything including himself.
* He has a fetus buried in his back yard because his family is psychotic and 80 thousand dollars in debt.
* He's unable to gain muscle mass because he looks like he was made in a lab. Weak chin and everything.
* Every relationship he's had has been 6 months tops, not counting every time he gets back with them.
* He would've had a daughter named Catalina, but Mr. No Filter and his bunch of Rats came in and shut that shit down.
* When is the next Dead on Arrival song coming out? You're not ready for the Sisyphus mix.
* I'm gonna finish this off with funny flavor text to make this post actually useful, it doesn't have anything to do with you, trash, so you can go tell Thigh Slicer 3000 all about how mean this article is. Bye.
"The sky turns Red..." - Maroonan Armada
"It smells rotten..." - Auditor M
"It's your time." - The Priest