Escape from Coach Rerider's Christmas Camp

ESCAPE FROM COACH RERIDER'S CHRISTMAS CAMP - #14
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My parents are sending me off to a "Christmas Camp" for the week. Yes, you heard that right. Christmas Camp. Yep, those exist. It's a camp where you do Christmas related activities and such. Yeah... I don't get the point either. But they're forcing me to go whether I like it or not. I at least I hope it's fun... but I'm not getting my hopes up. It doesn't snow where I live, so that's one fun aspect taken away already.
We arrived outside the gate of the camp, with other kids behind me. The coach opened up the gate, and introduced himself. "I am your coach; Coach Rerider. Today I will show you around the camp, and then we'll do some fun Christmas activities." Stated Coach Rerider. He then followed up with, "Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, Coach Re-readqaefvbdfgsfgbsjnrj" the kids spoke. They seemed to not know how to pronounce his name right. Well, neither did I. "Coach who?" questioned Coach Rerider. Me and the other kids started to look at each other with the "uh-oh" face. "Is this some kind of joke? How dare all of you tarnish the name of Rerider! No Christmas activities today then!" stated Coach Rerider angrily. The group started groaning in disappointment. This is going great so far!
Coach Rerider directed us to our cabins. They were gingerbread houses partially made out of candy canes. They looked super cool, but a bit small. "As you all know, we were all supposed to pin the beard on Santa, but since all of you rotten little kids treat my name like some kind of joke, we won't be doing that! I hope you're all happy with your self's. In fact, write my name on paper 50 times in a row until you all get it right!" said Coach Rerider in blistering fury. "Good. Sounds more fun than pining the beard on Santa. Who's stupid idea was that?" I whispered to a nerdy fat kid next to me. "Excuse me?" questioned Coach Rerider, while looking at me. Dang it.
"Me...?" I asked. "Yeah, you. Step up." Coach Rerider demanded. I walked closer to Coach Rerider. "Listen here, you little punk. You think this is a game? It's not. If you treat this camp like a choke, then bad, bad, BAD things will happen to you. Do you understand?" said coach Rerider in a very aggressive tone to my face. "Y-yes, sir." I replied. "Sir? No. Say my name." demanded Coach Rerider. "You're coach Rerider." I gave in. "You're gosh darn right." Coach Rerider stated. He then proceeded to dismiss me.
"All right everyone, listen up. Go to that pick table over there to your left, and start writing my name 50 times on a piece of paper!" Coach Rerider demanded. "Pfft... 'Christmas Camp.' More like, 'Camp Rerider.'" joked a cocky looking jock kid. Coach Rerider looked him straight in the eyes, and said, "Hey, I like your taste. Write my name 49 times instead of 50. Only you!" "Wow, Coach Rerider isn't such a jerk after all!" the cocker jocker whispered.
After I got done writing his name 50 times in a row, I turned it in. And by that, I mean I handed him the paper on the next table over. He started analyzing the paper for a seconds. "Congratulations! YOU SPELLED MY NAME WRONG ON ALL 50 LINES!" Coach Rerider yelled. I felt really uncomfortable at that moment. It felt like he was going to assault me! Before he could say anything else to me, other kids right next me turned in their papers. Coach Rerider analyzed them all, and then came to a conclusion. His hands started to shake furiously, and his face turned red. "WHAT IS THIS BULLCRAP!? ALL OF YOU WORTHLESS PUNKS SPELLED MY NAME WRONG!! DETENTION! DETENTION! DETENTION!" he screamed violently.
Me and the other kids took a few steps back as he was raging. He grabbed our papers violently, and set them on a log. Then out of nowhere, he grabbed an axe and started hitting them repeatedly with it. "Uh... should we make a run for it?" a random kid asked. Coach Rerider then looked us straight in the faces. "Get into that gingerbread house... NOW!" he demanded. Me and all the other kids went inside the gingerbread house. The inside looked very nice. The tables were red and white, and there were Christmas lights going all around the ceiling. There were even candy canes in a cup on one of the tables. That fat nerdy kid made the horrible mistake of grabbing a candy cane, and eating it...
Coach Rerider came inside the gingerbread house. His face boiled red, and his eyes widened. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CANDY CANE!?" he screamed very loudly. The fat nerdy kid dropped the candy cane in shock. Him and Coach Rerider stared at each other for an uncomfortably long time. Coach Rerider shook his head, and started slowly approaching the fat kid. He grabbed him by that ear, and dragged him outside. "Where are you taking me!?" the fat kid choked. "You're going to hell!" Coach Rerider answered in an angry tone.
After what seemed like an hour, Coach Rerider returned... with blood on his hand. He was huffing and puffing, I could even see steam coming out of his ears. "W-w-what's what?" a kid uttered out to Coach Rerider, while pointing at his bloody hand. Coach Rerider looked at his bloody hand, and said, "Oh... that. Let's jut say... he won't be hearing me yell anymore." "Why did you do it?" asked the jock. I'm surprised he had the courage to ask. "He said he didn't want to hear me yelling in his ear anymore, so, I did the deed." Coach Rerider replied surprisingly calm.
"Now, who's ready for some elf bowling?" asked Coach Rerider to me and the kids. The room filled with silence. He repeated. "I said... who want's to play... elf... bowling?" Nothing. No one said anything. Not even a cough or a sniffle. This enraged Coach Rerider, you could tell by the sinister look on his face. Then all of a sudden, he blew up. He kicked a chair, flipped a table, and threw a chair across the room. "I SAID WHO WANTS TO PLAY !@#$ING ELF BOWLING!?!?" he screamed louder than ever. The room once again filled with silence, except for the crying coming from this one kid. Then the door to the gingerbread house opened. Someone entered in.
It was... Santa Claus. "Whoa, what's going on in here?" The Santa asked. Coach Rerider turned around, facing the Santa. "Who the hell are you?" he asked. "Um, the camp consular? Who are YOU!?" Santa stated and asked. Then the unthinkable happened. Coach Rerider pulled out a pistol, and shot the Snata dead in the chest. Santa fell to the floor, and layed there to die. There was a giant blood splat on the wall from the shot. The room filled with gasps, screams, and cries.
Coach Rerider turned to us with the gun in hand. "Now... who wants to play elf bowling?" he blurted to us again. "I don't." The jock kid said. Coach Rerider pointed the gun at him and stared him down. "Why not?" Coach Rerider asked. "Because you're a huge dick! You psychopathic murder piece of garbage!" furiously yelled the jock. "Why don't you come say that to my face, punk?" coach Rerider dared. The jock kid slowly went up to him, and squared him in the jaw. Coach Rerider fell to the floor, discharging his weapon. "He's down, he's down! ATTACK!" yelled the jock while pinning him down.
I grabbed two candy canes, and jammed one in each of Coach Rerider's ears. I went as far as I could with them. He started to scream in agony. The other kids grabbed the Christmas lights off the walls, and we proceeded to tie him up with them. "Merry Christmas, bitch!" the jock said to Coach Rerider as he sat on the floor tied up with two candy canes far up in his ears. I grabbed the gun, and said "Let's get the hell out of here everyone!"
We ran outside of the gingerbread house, and made for our great escape. We made it to where the entrance gates were. But surprise, they were locked. We had to climb them. As we were climbing the gates, we heard a weird gasping like moan come from behind us. We turned around to see the fat nerdy kid... but his body was completely brunt! He was all smiley, stiff, his body was raggedy and completely red. His eyes were gone, only eye sockets. We could here him vaguely say "HeLp Me..." We screamed, and tried to climb the gate even faster. But it was too late. The now a monster nerdy fat kid grabbed one of the kid's legs, and started to eat him.
"CUT!"
"Your reaction was a bit too quick. You need to delay it some more. Okay?" said the director to the actor kid. "All right. I got it this time." the kid replied back. "Okay, and action!" yelled the director. The scene was reshot, and it turned out great. "Alright everyone, lunch break time!" yelled the director. While we were on lunch break, we noticed something was off. Every actor (including the guy who played Coach Rerider's character) were all at the table, except the guy who played Santa. We went inside the gingerbread house, and made the shocking realization.
We actually shot the guy who played Santa. The gun was a real gun, and it was fully loaded. The blood splat on the wall wasn't fake either, it was real. We all panicked, and the director of the film confronted the actor who played Coach Rerider. Here's what he said.
"I know I shot him. It was on purpose. You wanted the film to be as authentic as possible, remember?"
Category:Camp
Category:Christmas
Category:Psychopaths
Category:Weapons
Category:Deaths
Category:Mutants
Category:Twist Ending
Category:Holidays