Patrick Gets a Girlfriend

This is the eighth episode of Patrick's Playground.
(Patrick is eating a Krabby Patty at the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: So, Patrick, anything interesting going on in your life?
Patrick: Eh, not really. You?
SpongeBob: Patrick, you have to be doing something interesting. For example, getting a girlfriend.
Patrick: Why is everyone saying the same thing?! It’s getting annoying.
SpongeBob: Who else said that?
Patrick: Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, even Gary!
SpongeBob: Dang. Well, why don’t you get one to shut everyone up? There’s other things in life than getting a girl, you know.
Patrick: But you just said... oh, alright, I’ll get a girlfriend.
(A montage of Patrick asking random girls out plays, with all of them saying no, until…)
Patrick: Would you like to go out with me?
Girl: Sure! I haven’t ever dated before!
Patrick: Me neither.
Girl: That’ll be even better.
(Another montage plays, this time of Patrick and the girl going on dates. On the fifth date, this happens…)
Girl: Patrick, I want to tell you something.
Patrick: Yes?
Girl: I lied about not ever dating before. In fact, you’re my seventh boyfriend at the moment.
Patrick: What?!
Girl: Yeah, and I’ve decided you’re in last place out of all of them. I’m breaking up with you.
Patrick: Bu- bu bu- bu- what?! (leaves crying)
(At the Krusty Krab)
Sandy: Howdy Patrick. So, how’s your new girlfriend?
Patrick: My girlfriend? Oh, um… she moved away.
Sandy: That fast? But where?
Patrick: Uhh… Dullsville.
Sandy: That’s where people retire, Patrick, not for girlfriends.
Patrick: D’oh!
Squidward: Ha! Patrick doesn’t have a girlfriend!
Sandy: Lemme guess, she broke up with you?
Patrick: Yeah, she had 6 other boyfriends too.
Sandy: Ouch. I remember when the same happened with me and Felix. Rough times, rough times.
(On Conch Street)
SpongeBob: Patrick, why are you crying?
Patrick: Oh SpongeBob, it was horrible. After the fifth date of going out with that girl, she told me that she had 6 other boyfriends and… I was the worst one! (sobs)
SpongeBob: Well that girl isn’t worth your time. At least you tried.
Patrick: Yeah, I’m never dating again anytime soon.
SpongeBob: Uh, I have a confession to make.
Patrick: Yeah?
SpongeBob: I have never had a girlfriend before.
(Patrick gasps, ending the episode)
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