Rich Man Jenkins

Rich Man Jenkins is the twentieth episode of Bikini Bottom Jenkins and the fifth episode of Season Two.
==Synopsis==
Old Man Jenkins finds a mysterious plant in the middle of an abandoned barn, and takes it to his farm to grow. What he doesn't know is that this plant is very valuable, and he soon lives a rich and lavish life.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins with Old Man Jenkins window shopping at Barg N’ Mart. Jenkins is looking at the tractors in the display window)
Jenkins: Man, I WISH I could afford one of those babies. (slumps) Too bad I don’t have enough money for them, (kicks leg) even with social security! (walks off) Welp, back to my barn. The sea chickens have prolly laid their eggs by now.
(Cutaway to Jenkins’ sea chickens, which are currently snoring in their nests instead of producing eggs. Cut back to Jenkins, who is now walking on what he assumes to be his normal path back to his house)
Jenkins: (whistling, walking) Ah, what a wonderful day it’s been so far. No disturbances whatsoever.
Branch: I’m a disturbance! (knocks over Jenkins, who falls down on his head)
Jenkins: (gets up) Ow! I-- OW! What is wrong with you, fallen branch?
Branch: Hey! Don’t call me fallen, that’s ableist!
Jenkins: (sighs) What is wrong with you, branch?
Branch: (sniffles) Just being fallen, that’s all.
Jenkins: Oh, why I oughta… (sighs)
(Jenkins moves along, still not realizing that he is on the wrong path. He looks around and sees what looks like to him as his regular barn house)
Jenkins: Ah, home sweet barn. Let’s check to see how those sea chickens are going…
(Jenkins opens the barn, only just realizing it is not his. Spider webs are all over the place, and there is a broken clock on the wall)
Jenkins: (mouth agape) Dear Neptune! This doesn’t look like my barn! I take good care of it after all. (walks inside) Hmm… something seems pretty off about this one. (looks around, seeing the broken clock as well as a plant in a flower pot on the windowsill) A plant? Hmm, and it’s still alive and well.
(Jenkins takes a closer look at the plant to investigate it)
Jenkins: Soil looks a little dry. I should probably take it home with me for safe keeping. (looks around) Not like anyone is taking care of it anyway.
(Jenkins picks up the flower pot holding the plant and carries it out of the barn. In the shadows, a creature hisses as it notices Jenkins walking away with it)
Creature: Grr… I was going to sell that one day! I must get him back somehow.
(The creature emerges from the shadows and is revealed to be the Hash Slinging Slasher)
Slasher: (sprinkles dust on ground from bag) This curse shall be the blessing! (shrugs) I don’t know what that means, it’s just what I have to say. I put a curse on him, that’s what I did.
(Bubble transition to Jenkins walking up to his house while holding the plant. He opens the front door and takes the plant inside. However, a bucket falls onto Jenkins’ head that was sitting on the door, making him unable to see.)
Jenkins: (muffled) What the halibut?!
(Luckily, the plant doesn’t break as Jenkins drops it)
Slasher: (looking from afar) Darn. Maybe next time.
(Jenkins sets the plant on the kitchen counter, next to a window. Light begins shining through the window, making the plant hiss)
Jenkins: Now then. That was a mildly interesting day. (begins reading the paper) Now to relax.
(Just then, Jenkins’ newspaper melts somehow)
Jenkins: Huh? How in the world of physics did that happen?
Slasher: (snickers)
Jenkins: Well it looks like thanks to the suddenly hot weather, I can't enjoy my paper in peace!
(Just then, another bucket of water drops directly in his head)
Jenkins: OW! Wait… as far as I know I only have one bucket.
Slasher: (chuckles)
Jenkins: Maybe… (looks at plant) Maybe this plant is cursed. Just to make sure…
(Jenkins grabs a new newspaper and this time, it explodes in his face)
Jenkins: Eeyup. It appears I'm… cursed. (groans) I hate when this happens! I believe there is only one way to get rid of the curse.
Slasher: Oh no.
Jenkins: Give it away to someone else. I should probably get it appraised.
Slasher: Nooo!
(A quick cut happens. Jenkins gives the plant to an appraiser in his building)
Appraiser: Hmm… mmm! This is quite a rare plant you have right here!
Jenkins: (perks up) Really? How much?
Appraiser: Oh, definitely not much.
Jenkins: Aw.
Appraiser: I'd say loads of much! I'll give you… 2 million bucks for it!
Jenkins: (faints, then wakes back up to give the appraiser the plant) Deal!
Slasher: What?! Grrr… I won't let him get away with this. The curse is still in effect. Sucker.
Appraiser: You won't regret this, Jenkins. Believe me, you won't.
Slasher: Ohohoh, you WILL. You WILL! Muhahahahaha- (coughs and passes out)
(Bubble transition to Jenkins selling his house to another old person)
Old person: Oh, I'm sure it'll be a great fit for me.
Jenkins: I'm sure it will be too. Welp, (hops in Lamborghini) gotta blast, as the kids say these days.
(Just then Jenkins’ Lamborghini stops working)
Jenkins: Aw, dag nabbit! I just bought this thing!
Parrot: (flying by) Squawk! Get bent! (flies off)
Jenkins: Huh. Wonder what that was all about.
Slasher: (snickers behind a bush)
Jenkins: Well then. (shrugs) I guess I’ll just have to buy a new one.
Slasher: (growls)
(Cut to Jenkins sitting in his new fancy living room)
Harold: Fancy room.
Jenkins: Since when did you get in here?
Harold: Fancy… room. (slowly vanishes)
Jenkins: (rubs eyes) I must be hallucinatin’ things. (sighs) Oh well. It hurts to be this rich.
(Just then, a chandelier falls onto Jenkins’ head)
Jenkins: (rubs head) Ouch! Why does it seem like I’ve had bad luck ever since I became rich?
Slasher: (snickers, rubs hands together) Now you see… the consequences of your actions.
(Bubble transition to Jenkins, in a fancy suit, gesturing his new friends into his house for a party)
Jenkins: Come one, come all, to the Jenkins House Party!
Patchy: (watching TV screen of the episode, eyes bulge) Grr… That was MY IDEA! JENKINS BETRAYED US!
Potty: Squawk, quit complaining. It’s not that big a deal.
Patchy: (groans) Fine, stupid parrot. I guess you’re right. (sulks)
(Back at the house party, everything is going just fine thus far)
Harold: Fancy room.
Upturn: …do you say anything else, sir?
Harold: Fancy room.
Upturn: Ugh! I’m offended!
Jenkins: (coming in with fruit punch in cups) Who wants punch?
(A branch somehow trips Jenkins over, causing him to spill the punch all over Upturn)
Upturn: (wiping liquid off her face) Ugh! I’m DOUBLE offended! (leaves, along with some other people)
Jenkins: Friends, wait! It was just an accident!
Partygoer: Hmmph! (turns head around, promptly leaving)
Other partygoer: Nice going, Jenkins. You forgot the number one rule of rich etiquette: NEVER make a mess. You may go out and kill somebody, you may even go out and dig up someone’s grave. But making a mess? Ugh! Disgusting. (leaves as well)
Jenkins: Aughh… I have to do something about this bad luck.
(Just then, he sees the Hash Slinging Slasher cackling inside the bushes)
Jenkins: (points) HEY! YOU!
Slasher: Yeah? Me? What about me? I was just leaving, see? (tries to walk away, but Jenkins drags him inside)
Jenkins: You… are going to explain everything to me.
Slasher: (sweating profusely) Everything? Wh-what do you mean by that? (drops spellbook, which Jenkins picks up)
Jenkins: (flipping through spellbook) Interesting pages you got here.
Slasher: (snatches back the book) Mine! (hisses) But yes, I will tell you precisely what happened.
(Flashback to what happened earlier)
Slasher: (voiceover) So I saw that you went into my secret hideout, and stole my plant! So, I basically cursed you with bad luck. That’s it, really. Wanted to make you suffer, heheh.
Jenkins: (steaming with rage) You better reverse that curse right now, sir!
Slasher: You sold my plant, it’s too late for that. Unless you pass… the three deadly challenges.
Jenkins: The three deadly challenges, eh? What’re they?
Slasher: First, you must survive the Vat of Acid. Second, you must climb the Wall of Sea Spiders. And third, you must solve a simple riddle.
Jenkins: Acid, spiders, riddle. Seems good enough to me.
Slasher: Beware, old man: it is way, way harder than it seems. Do you accept the challenge?
Jenkins: What do you take me for, stupid? Of course I accept the challenge!
Slasher: (chuckles) Alright then, old coot.
(The Slasher snaps his fingers as they are both teleported to a laboratory, with Jenkins inside a vat of acid)
Slasher: All you have to do is survive for 60 seconds. (starts timer)
Jenkins: (flesh burning off his body) Oh that doesn’t… (screaming) SEEM THAT HARD!
Slasher: (groans) Oh, please, I bathe in this stuff.
Jenkins: (now a skeleton) Seems I can't die! You're paying for the damages, right?
Slasher: (shakes head)
(The Slasher snaps his finger again, as they are both teleported to a cart at Glove World!, which is riding the Fiery Fist O’Pain)
Slasher: Your next challenge, which you may or may not pass, is about endurance. If you stay in the cart at all times and finish the ride, you win the challenge. If not, (shrugs) oh well, not really my problem anymore.
(Jenkins puts on a determined face and is not afraid of the challenge)
Jenkins: I won’t be losin’ to a DEMON!
Slasher: Whoa, rude words there, fella. But anyway, (gesturing to the several traps on the ride) bad luck!
(The rollercoaster continues, and Jenkins faces the first obstacle: the fist of pain)
Jenkins: Pfft, this’ll be no issue.
(Jenkins crouches all the way inside the seat and manages to dodge the fist)
Slasher: Wh-wh-what is happening?
Jenkins: I used my wits. And how!
Slasher: (growls) Maybe this next obstacle will be a real doozy. (laughs maniacally)
Jenkins: Oh, please. (dodges several rotating wrecking balls)
Slasher: Wh- HOW?! Nobody I’ve cursed has been able to get past those!
Jenkins: Ha-ha! Take that, evil curse doer!
Slasher: (growls)
(Jenkins dodges several more obstacles, including a chainsaw, several angry worms (he is a farmer after all), and a ring of fire)
Jenkins: (not tired) So, second challenge done. I did it!
Slasher: I, uh… I'm impressed. Time to move along to your final challenge. 
(The Slasher warps him and Jenkins to an active volcano)
Slasher: Your final challenge! Your final challenge, is to (hands Jenkins a unicycle) ride this unicycle on a (gestures to tightrope across volcano) tightrope over this active volcano! (chuckles) They put most of the budget into this challenge since I assumed nobody would make it this far. But now, we get to see its true potential! (laughs maniacally as Jenkins hops onto the tightrope on the unicycle)
Jenkins: Heh, this is pee easy! (starts to lose balance, and the volcano starts rumbling)
Slasher: (rubs hands together)
(The volcano then erupts, spewing up molten rock into the air, past Jenkins)
Jenkins: (stops unicycle) What do you take me for? Stupid?
Slasher: Well… yeah.
(A piece of molten rock hits the Slasher, knocking him down the volcano)
Slasher: Well this stinks. (sulks on the ground)
(Jenkins is still stuck on the tightrope, as he cannot progress)
Jenkins: Well this is it. This is how it ends. (puts on a determined face) No. I must persist.
(Jenkins starts rapidly pedaling across the tightrope, maneuvering around several rocks that sweep by him. However, a rock hits him square in the eye, putting him off balance)
Jenkins: Whoa-oa-oa!
(Jenkins hops off the unicycle and grabs onto the tightrope with his hands. He then begins to climb the tightrope, and ends up on the other side. The Slasher groans on the ground below, then teleports them back to Jenkins’ house)
Jenkins: So… is the curse lifted?
Slasher: (sighs) I've actually never had to lift a curse before. Nobody has completed my challenges in one piece. Well, here goes.
(The Slasher gives Jenkins a golden carrot to eat. The curse is lifted as soon as he eats the carrot)
Slasher: So I guess it’s time I admit defeat.
Jenkins: Well at least you tried, I suppose.
Slasher: Yeah. (sighs, then teleports himself away)
Jenkins: Good thing I never told him I cheated. (looks at his giant stash of money, picking it up) Well, fellas, I think I know what to do with y’all.
(Bubble transition to Jenkins giving the money to a local charity)
Charity worker: (eyes bulge) I… (points to cash) huh… (faints)
Jenkins: (shrugs) Maybe I shoulda chosen a different charity.
(The camera irises out on Jenkins, ending the episode)
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