Cheaters Run in the Family!

Cheaters Run in the Family! is the forty-sixth episode of The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show, and the eighth episode of the fifth and final season. It was written by and released on August 10, 2023.
== Transcript == 
=== Cold Open ===
Narrator: Previously on The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show...
Uncle Pig: YOU'RE NOT EVEN DADS BIOLOGICAL CHILD!!!
[Pause]
Daddy Pig: Wait, WHAT?
Uncle Pig: Shit! I wasn't supposed to tell you that.
SpongeBob: Who are you!? And what are your motives?
???: *breathes in* My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you’re watching this tape, I’m probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year no-
[Zoom out reveal SpongeBob and Daddy Pig watching the clips on their TV.]
Daddy Pig: His speech is too long!
[Daddy Pig fast forwards the clip]
Walter White: -my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
[Pause.]
Walter White: And I want to get revenge on the dumb shits at PI for cutting be from The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Movie!
[The gang get in SpongeBob's perfectly intact car; Walt gets in and points a gun at Daddy Pig's head]
Walter White: Drive. Drive to the PI network offices.
Walter White: We're here.
[Walter White gets out the car and walks towards the PI Headquarters, only for it to be closed.]
Walter White: DAMN IT!
Uncle Pig: WE JUST LEFT A GUY STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
Daddy Pig: So?
SpongeBob: Hi Daddy Pig. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?
Answering Machine: Hello. This is Shady Sholes Retirement Home. The person you are trying to call, Daddy Daddy Pig, has passed away.
Uncle Pig: MUMMY DADDY PIG IS CALLING!
Mummy Daddy Pig: I'm getting married to that lifeguard!
[Daddy Pig grabs the phone out of Uncle Pig's hands]
Daddy Pig: WHO IS HE? WHAT'S HIS NAME? I NEED TO KNOW WHO MY REAL FATHER IS!
Daddy Pig: Real dad?
Larry the Lobster's Dad: Other son?
Daddy Pig: We still need to know why mum cheated on dad!
Perch Perkins: Good evening Peppa Pig world! PI CEO thatjess has been found dead in her office.
[Cut to Black]
=== Episode ===
[Cut to SpongeBob's pineapple, where SpongeBob is in his closet, kissing a picture of Squidward. Someone rings the doorbell.]
Daddy Pig: I'll get it!
[Daddy Pig opens the front door]
Daddy Pig: Hi Sandy!
Sandy: Hi Daddy Pig! 
Daddy Pig: What brings you here?
Sandy: Today me and SpongeBob are going on a date? Do you know where he is?
Daddy Pig: He's in his closet.
Sandy: Thanks.
[Sandy goes into SpongeBob's room and opens the closet door, seeing SpongeBob kissing a picture of Squidward]
Sandy: *screams*
SpongeBob: IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!
[Cut to Sandy angerly leaving the pineapple.] 
SpongeBob: SANDY, WAIT!
Daddy Pig: What's going on?
SpongeBob: I don't really want to talk about it.
[Uncle Pig walks in.]
Uncle Pig: Hey Daddy Pig!
Daddy Pig: What?
Uncle Pig: You said you where going back to your family today, right?
Daddy Pig: Right.
Uncle Pig: I'm thinking maybe today we can find out why Mum cheated on Dad!
Daddy Pig: Yeah!
SpongeBob: Hey, I wanted Daddy Pig over so me and him could spend time together, not so he could spend a lot of time with you!
Uncle Pig: I just want to give him closure, that's all!
SpongeBob: Well you can do that some other time, because I want Daddy Pig to spend the day with me! Uncle Pig?
Uncle Pig: Yes?
SpongeBob: You are kicked out of this house until Daddy Pig goes back to his family!
Uncle Pig: WHAT?
SpongeBob: OUT!
[Uncle Pig sadly leaves the house]
Daddy Pig: That reminds me, I was supposed to go back to my house 10 minutes ago!
[Uncle Pig walks back in the house] 
Uncle Pig: That was a rough 5 seconds!
[Cut to Walter White in Saul's office]
Saul: So let me get this straight: You shot the PI CEO and now want to change your name to "Balter Black"?
Walter White: Yes. 
Saul: Alright, here's you new driver's license and address.
Balter Black: Thank you.
[Balt looks at the address, with the address being the address for New Locationer McGee. Cut to Balt driving up to the house and knocking on the door]
Scott the Woz: Hey all, Scott here. Who the fuck are you?
Balter Black: My name is Balter Bartwell Black. I live at *looks at the piece of paper saying the address* here.
Scott the Woz: Welcome! You can sleep on the couch until I get you a bed.
Batler Black: Thanks.
 
[Cut to Balt's car, which is on the road. Pan over to Daddy Pig in his car. Due to the fact he's looking at his phone instead of the road, he accidentally rear ends Balt's car]
Daddy Pig: GOD DAMNIT!
[Balt looks over at his car and screams]
Daddy Pig: Uh oh. 
[Daddy Pig then drives off. Cut to Daddy Pig arriving at his house]
Peppa: Daddy!
Daddy Pig: Hi Peppa!
[Daddy Pig walks into the House. Suddenly, the phone rings]
Daddy Pig: Hello?
Uncle Pig: Hi Daddy Pig. I'm in your driveway.
Daddy Pig: Cool.
Uncle Pig: Wanna find out why mom cheated?
Daddy Pig: Sure! *hangs up* Hey family, I'll be back in a bit. Gonna do something with Uncle Pig.
Mummy Pig: Ok, bye!
[Cut to Uncle Pig's car parking in front of Mummy Daddy Pig's house]
Uncle Pig: Here we go.
[Cut to Larry the Lobster with his dad]
Larry: It's great you found your long lost son, dad!
Larry's Dad: Yeah!
[Suddenly, crying can be heard in the background]
Larry's Dad: What's that sound?
Larry: I'll go check it out.
[Larry goes over to the source of the crying, Sandy Cheeks]
Sandy: *sobbing*
Larry: Sandy, what's wrong?
Sandy: SpongeBob's gay! *sobs louder*
[Pause.]
Larry: That was kind of obvious lmao.
Sandy: Go fuck yourself, Larry. SpongeBob loved me! We were dating! 
Larry: Maybe his friend Daddy Pig infected him with gay!
[Pause.]
Sandy: What the hell are you talking about.
Larry: Maybe that Daddy Pig is also one of those illegal immigrants!
[Pause.]
Narrator: Larry is a homophobe and a racist
Sandy: LARRY!
Larry: I'm gonna find that Daddy Pig, and make him ungay SpongeBob!
Sandy: Larry what the fu-
[Cut to Daddy Pig and Uncle Pig at the Shady Shoals Retirement Home]
Daddy Pig: This is it. I'll finally know why I was born!
[Daddy Pig knocks on Mummy Daddy Pig's door.]
Mummy Daddy Pig: Hello?
Daddy Pig: Mom, why did you cheat on dad?
Mummy Daddy Pig: Because he's a big *long bleep*. That's also why I didn't tell you when he died!
[Mummy Daddy Pig slams the door]
[Pause.]
Uncle Pig: Welp, there's your answer. I'm gonna go take a giant shit.
[Uncle Pig walks over to the bathroom. Just after he enters, A mysterious figure puts a bag over Daddy Pig's head.]
Category:2023
Category:2023 Episodes
Category:2020s
Category:2023 Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Transcripts
Category:The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show
Category:Episodes written by MrDaGuy
Category:Coral Blue Productions
Category:PI
Category:Blue Lobster Productions