Steamed Hams (episode)

== Transcript ==
Purple: Well, CrazySponge, I made it- despite your directions.
CrazySponge: Ah, Purple. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
Purple: Yeah.
CrazySponge: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, CrazySponge.
Singers: Ah- CrazySponge  with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears CrazySponge’s lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!
Purple: CrazySponge!
CrazySponge: CEO, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Purple: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, CrazySponge?
CrazySponge: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.
CrazySponge: Whew. Purple, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.
Purple: I thought we were having steamed clams.
CrazySponge: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Purple: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
CrazySponge: Yes. It's a regional dialect.
Purple: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?
CrazySponge: Uh, Northwest Wisconsin.
Purple: Really. Well, I'm from Eau Claire, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
CrazySponge: Oh, not in Eau Claire. No. It's an Altoona expression.
Purple: I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at The Krusty Krab.
CrazySponge: Oh, no. Patented Crazy burgers. Old family recipe.
Purple: For steamed hams.
CrazySponge: Yes.
Purple: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
CrazySponge: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.
Purple: Of course.
CrazySponge: Oh well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Purple: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?
CrazySponge: Aurora borealis.
Purple: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen?
CrazySponge: Yes.
Purple: May I see it?
CrazySponge: No.
CrazySponge’s Mother: CrazySponge! The house is on fire!
CrazySponge: No, Mother. It's just the northern lights.
Purple: Well, CrazySponge, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.
CrazySponge’s Mother: Help! Help!
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2024
Category:2024 Episodes
Category:2024 Transcripts
Category:Purple133