Geonosis Clone Trooper vs. Lord Vladek vs. Skeleton

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Amset-Ra is soaking in his forbidden hot tub when Pharaoh Hotep approaches him.
Amset-Ra: I meant to say this last battle, but how come I'm still here when I really wanted to come with you to stop Shadow, Bird, and Tech?
Pharaoh Hotep: Those coronas still hurt...
Amset-Ra: And how come you're still here when you took your team out to stop Shadow, Bird, and Tech?!I
Pharaoh Hotep: The same reason you're hearing the others in the background.
???: Give me back my hair!
???: NO WAY!!!!!!!
???: Update complete.
???: Excellent, my authentic, beautiful, creative...
Pharaoh Hotep: See?
Amset-Ra: How... What...
Pharaoh Hotep: What is this sorcery, you ask? Well, myself and some of the other Pyramid Staff members are from a parallel universe.
Amset-Ra: Cliché.
Pharaoh Hotep: No, really! NexoByte made all this up just to use the characters while Surtatb2007 is away.
Amset-Ra: Ah. That explains a lot.
Pharaoh Hotep: Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take a pill for my LEGO Overwatch hype.
He leaves the room.
Amset-Ra: Wait, there a pills to cure hype? Oh wait, those are chill pills.
He has a double take.
Amset-Ra: LEGO Overwatch?! I need one of those pills!
He gets out of the hot tub, almost forgetting his wraps, and runs after his dad.
Amset-Ra: Never run by a pool. Don't be a hypocrite like me.
Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid!
Audience: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhuh?
Wyldstyle: Believe me, I know. This is weird. I'm supposed to be captured by Shadow, Bird, and Tech right now. But here I am. I'm from a parallel universe! Did any of you read the Before the Battle section?
About a dozen minifigures raise their hands. A few flash sheepish grins.
Amset-Ra: Psst! The seat coronas!
Wyldstyle: I forgot about those!
She presses a button, and all the minifigures who didn't raise their hands are burnt up by Amset-Ra's spare crowns lying under the seats.
Amset-Ra: Thst's right, I own about 7,000 crowns!
Wyldstyle: What about wraps?
Amset-Ra: Got plenty of those. One of 'em is even signed by Mr. Gold himself!
Audience: REALLY?!
Vladek: That really doesn't matter. I've got a helmet forged with fire and signed by the great Tee-Vee!
The audience cheers.
Wyldstyle: Oh no! I accidentally hit the button for invisibility!
Amset-Ra: It's not your fault. Both buttons are white with green trim and labeled "Press this button to make your annoying guests disappear".
Wyldstyle: Okay. In the Red Corner, the long-time-serving clone with the long name, GCT!
GCT: Second only to Specialized Geo-
Wyldstyle: Right, I get the idea. In the Yellow Corner (the Green Corner is in for repairs), the unspeakable one's ancestor and great king of Morcia, Lord Vladek!
King Mathias: Traitor!
Vladek: Yes! I'm totally soaking up the glory right now!
Ogel: You go, Gramps!
Amset-Ra: Like father, like evil conqueror...
Ogel: I feel misrepresented!
Wyldstyle: In the Blue Corner is a single skeleton.
Amset-Ra: Apparently this skeleton doesn't speak.
Wyldstyle: Apparently Ogel is predicting today.
Amset-Ra: Again?!
Ogel: Most definitely the Skeleton will win. He does, after all, look like one of my Skeleton Drones.
He falls through the Green Corner.
Ogel: Aaaahhhh...
Crunch.
Amset-Ra: I could have told you the Green Corner was in for repairs!
Ogel: Aaahhh! Poison Ivy's plants and stuff! They burrrrrn!
Poison Ivy: Now you know why it's called the Green Corner!
Vladek: I'm avenging Junior right now!
WOP!
Amset-Ra: Aaaahhhhh...
Ding!
Wyldstyle: Well, I guess Tee-Vee gets to start the battle!
Tee-Vee: Battle:start.
GCT: Watch the hole in the Green Corner!
Vladek: It'll be your grave!
Wyldstyle: Vladek tries to lunge toward GCT, but the clone leaps over the Green Corner!
Crash! RattleRattle
GCT: Oh, it's you, Mr. Skeleton. I forgot you were here.
Vladek: Skeletons were a staple in various Castle subthemes.
GCT: So?
Vladek: And I've been reading past battles.
GCT: So?
Vladek: And one of the fighters was named Frakjaw.
GCT: So?
Vladek: And he was a skeleton.
GCT: So?
Vladek: And his head was used as cannon fodder.
GCT: So what's your point?
Vladek: I'm going to use the Skeleton as a weapon!
GCT: I kinda saw that coming.
Vladek: Construct!
GCT: You know, it's really not necessary to announce your-
CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK
Wyldstyle: It's a cannon.
Vladek: Not just any old cannon. No, it's a Geonosian Cannon!
GCT: How flattering.
Vladek: It's kinda really powerful. Hopefully powerful enough to destroy you in one hit.
GCT: With this kind of armor? Highly unlikely.
Vladek: But your own gun can kill you.
GCT: It's a risk I'm willing to take.
Pew pew pew!
GCT: Huh?
Pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew!
Wyldstyle: GCT shoots at the Geonosian Cannon, but a force field is rendering his efforts useless!
Vladek: Even Ogel's tech is dated. I affiliated myself with Blacktron two years ago, and they lent me this force field projector.
Load!
Vladek: Now I've loaded the entire Skeleton into the cannon. Goodbye, Geonosis Clone Trooper!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Vladek: There must have been a technical failure! The cannon as just imploded!
Wyldstyle: A cookie to whoever finds the Q in the above sound effect!
Plop.
GCT: It appears the Skeleton survived.
RattleRattleRattle
GCT: And now it's standing up!
Vladek: Skeleton! Don't you remember me? You were Unit DL309 in my army!
GCT: Only Castle 2007 has a DL legion. And besides, I don't think you used skeletons in Morcia.
Vladek: Curses! A minor oversight at worst, though.
Snap.
GCT: Blast him!
Pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew!
Wyldstyle: The Skeleton has successfully blocked GCT's lasers using its arm! I guess we can say he is considered armless and dangerous!
Vladek: No puns allowed here! Fortunately I still have a spare halberd from my back pocket!
GCT: What do you plan to use it for?
Vladek: I'm going to make chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop-
Wyldstyle: And something happened to Vladek's voice! Who could have seen that coming, ladies and gentlemen?!
Vladek: Ahem. As I was saying before my voice enhancer gave way, I'm going to make chop suey out of the Skeleton and save GCT for dessert.
GCT: I assure you, I'm not tasty. *points* Incoming!
Throw! Wham!
GCT: Gah!
Vladek: Baseball was always my specialty.
Wyldstyle: The Skeleton threw its arm at Vladek, who batted it at GCT with his halberd!
GCT: You know what? The Skeleton is taking up too much room.
Lift!
GCT: Hey Ogel! Want an extra soldier?
Ogel: You're throwing the Skeleton down here, right?
GCT: Yeah!
Ogel: It can't be a Skeleton Drone unless it was a normal minifigure before, you know.
GCT: Oh... Well have it anyway!
Toss!
Ogel: Ouch!
Tee-Vee: Ring-out. Skeleton:Eliminated.
Vladek: Wanna join him?
GCT: Nah, I think you should. Your descendant is down there, after all.
Vladek: He can climb out. Unlike you...
GCT: Construct!
CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK
Vladek: Hey! You can't play my own joke back on me!
GCT: That's right. I just built a Geonosian Cannon. Now where's the firing button... Oh, here it is!
Press.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!
Tee-Vee: GCT:Eliminated. Winner:Vladek.
Wyldstyle: GCT's own cannon blew up on him. Must have been a Skeleton in there...
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Shark Suit Guy: I found the Q!
Tee-Vee: 🍪
Audience: YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE3EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA4HHHHHHHHHHH!
That night...
Ogel: *to the Skeleton* ...and so I finally maintained order in LEGO City, with everyone being Skeleton Drones. Wasn't that a great story? I wonder when help will arrive... Or maybe they'll fix up the Green Corner.
Amset-Ra's house.
Vakama: *on TV* ...chop chop chop chop chop chop...
Amset-Ra: That's gonna be my new ringtone. Here's to another pointless ending!
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Category:Season 3
Category:Round 1 Battles