Blood 1

Hello and welcome to my sporking of Blood of the Fold, the third book in the Sword of Truth series, also known as the Holy Crap The Hero's Doing What??! series. If you've read the first two sporkings you know why you're here. If you haven't, why are you here? Go start with my Wizard's First Rule sporking; reading them in order will make them a lot more comprehensible.
Not better, mind you. Just more comprehensible.
Without further ado, let's plunge back into the maelstrom of angst, sociopathy, and inconsistency with Blood of the Fold!
Chapter 1
We start off . . . somewhere . . . as six women awaken in unison, screaming. One of them proves to be Sister Ulicia, one of the Bad Nuns from the previous book, and the others turn out to be Tovi, Armina, Cecilia, Merissa and the ever-popular Nietzsche. They are all naked for some inexplicable reason \~/ and were sleeping in the same room on board a ship of some sort. Also, they all have bloody scratches on their faces, as if they had been trying to wake themselves up. I'm not sure that works . . . at all, really . . . but I'll ignore it for now.
Someone outside the Nuns' room has been banging on the door and demanding an explanation for all this time, and the Nuns tell him to git. The Nuns chat for a bit, and we learn that they all dreamed of Liliana, the ill-fated Bad Nun from the previous book, whom Richard forgave to death. Liliana, apparently, is being tortured for all eternity as punishment for failing Satan in his Evil Plan.
This is why it's generally a bad idea to work for beings like the Spiritual Embodiment of Hatred and Death. I'm just sayin'.
Randomly (LOL, FORESHADOWING!) we learn that all the Nuns learn to kiss their ring fingers by rote from the time they are novices. Nuns are “symbolically betrothed to [God]” (Catholicer and Catholicer), and kissing their ring finger is a “ritual renewal of that betrothal.” However, Bad Nuns don't do that: “There was no telling what the act of kissing that finger would do, now, in view of their betrayal. Superstition said it was death for one who had pledged her soul to [Satan] – a Sister of the Dark – to kiss that finger. While it was unclear whether it truly would invoke [God]'s wrath, there was no doubt it would invoke [Satan]'s.”
Here's the thing: that's stupid. Satan's entire modus operandi in this world has been one of deceit and trickery. Heck, Bad Nuns aren't even officially acknowledged to exist. Bad Nuns hide among normal Nuns; Satanists hide among normal people. Deception and misdirection are the whole way Satan operates.
With that in mind, why would Satan impose such a bizarre restriction? Is he that insecure? Why have a rule like that that makes it incredibly easy to determine whether or not someone is a Bad Nun?
“Hey, are you a Bad Nun?”
“Me? No! What makes you ask that?”“Oh? Then you won't mind kissing your ring finger for me. You know, like Nuns do all the time.”“I . . . don't feel like it right now.”\~/
And keep in mind, there are witch-hunters and Inquisition-analogues in this world. This book is bloody named after them!
We learn that the Nuns did not see Satan this time (as they apparently have before), but instead, a man. Specifically, Emperor Jagang, the ruler of Europe, who was briefly mentioned in the last book. Jagang told them that the Bad Nuns would regret it if they made him wait. They decide that Satan has given them to Jagang as a means of earning their way back into his favor, which doesn't make a lot of sense to me; but then, I'm not the Prince of Darkness.
This inspires the Bad Nuns to burst out of the cabin, yelling at the sailors to turn the ship around. Since they're still stark naked (why didn't they get dressed during the discussion of dreams?), a Random Lecherous Sailor starts ogling Merissa and making Random Lecherous Sailor comments. I think this counts as “sexual for no good reason.” \~/ Merissa, being a Dark Sorceress of Evil Darkness, explodes him, then magically slashes another man's eyes for daring to notice her boobies.
Ulicia repeats the order to turn around, and Captain Blake replies “As you wish, Sister. Back around the great barrier, to the Old World.” Ulicia says to set a direct course since the barrier is down (how she knows this, I don't know), and the thoroughly-cowed sailors set to it.
The Bad Nuns head back to their cabin and start getting dressed. While doing this, they speculate on whether Satan really did give them to Jagang, or whether Jagang is interfering on his own. There's some more chatter than boils down to: the Nuns hate Richard, the Nuns don't trust Jagang but they have to work with him for now. Ulicia and Merissa both vow to make Richard pay, and the chapter ends.
Drinks: 3
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