Having a Ball/Episode transcript

This is the episode transcript for "Having a Ball"
Narrator: Midnight, in the enchanted kingdom of Hyrule. A time for sweet dreams ever since the defeat of the evil wizard Ganon, and Princess Zelda's return to the throne, and Link's restoration of the Triforce, an ancient treasure made up of the Triforce of Power, the Triforce of Wisdom, and the Triforce of Courage. Together, they are the greatest source of magical energy on Hyrule, and the greatest temptation to those who hunger to possess them.
(Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo are seen traveling through the warp zones)
Eggplant Wizard: Look out, Triforce. Here we come! (gets stuck in a warp zone) Help! I'm stuck in this warp zone! (his head ends up sticking out in a game field) Hey, this doesn't look like Hyrule. (a man riding a horse and holding a hockey stick is seen approaching Eggplant, but Hippo gets him out just in time)
King Hippo: Quit fooling around! We should have been in North Castle an hour ago!
Eggplant Wizard: Look! We're in the warp zone oblivion!
King Hippo: Yeah, and I ought to leave you here! Mother Brain said turn right at the mirror zone, not left! (jumps down into a warp zone and Eggplant follows him. They end up in the chamber where the Triforce is) See? I'd told you I'd find it. Easy as falling on the lawn!
Eggplant Wizard: Well, at least you didn't find it falling on your head!
King Hippo: Ok, ok, so I made a slight miscalculation. Get off my back!
Eggplant Wizard: You got the magic spell Mother Brain gave you?
King Hippo: Of course I got it! (looks in his pants) This ain't it! Uh, laundry list, fortune cookie, fortune, letter from mom, uh... Hey, no problem! I memorized it!
Eggplant Wizard: You know, if we mess this up, Mother Brain will squash the both of us! 
King Hippo: Not if I squash you first! Newt of frog and wing of quail! Uh, or was it, snoot of hog and eye of snail, uh... (the Triforce begins to glow and shoot beams at both of them)
King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard: Let's get out of here!
King Hippo: Uh-oh. (realizes that the warp hole is too high from where they are, but Eggplant jumps on top of him and reaches the hole. He then puts out his staff so that Hippo can hold on to it and drag him into the warp zone)
(the guards rush in but are sent back by the beams. Zelda approaches the Triforce and touches a crystal ball that stops the beams)
Link: What's going on?
Princess Zelda: That's the last time I get up for an alarm malfunction. That makes three times this week!
Link: Well, what can we do about it?
Zelda: I'm going to sleep. You're going to organize the soldiers to guard the Triforce. Night night! (gives Link a kiss on the cheek)
Mother Brain: Perfect! She turned off the alarm. The Triforce is as good as mine! Once I get rid of you potato heads that is.
Eggplant Wizard: Get...rid of us?
Mother Brain: As in out! Fired! History! (hits Hippo and Eggplant and pushes them out the door) Who needs those bozos? Once I have the Triforce, Ganon's servants will do my bidding, and I'll have a [party]! (transforms its base into a tank) Let Ganon sleep forever! General Mother Brain is taking command!
(King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard are packing their things)
Eggplant Wizard: Kicked out! Where would we go? What would we do?
King Hippo: Ah, who needs that bottle brain.
Eggplant Wizard: Yeah, we'll show her! We'll join the N Team!
(at the Palace of Power)
Kevin: Man, that mission to Kongoland was a blast, hey guys?
Simon: It was a beastly job, but I guess somebody had to do it. Oh, I long for the good old days...
Lana: Oh, I know what you mean, Simon. Remember the birthday bash my father gave me last year?
Simon: Yes, I was smashing, wasn't I?
Kevin: Well, what about the time on Hyrule when we wiped out two Iron Knuckles ? You were awesome, Lana!
Lana: Yes, that was exciting, too, Kevin. But it's just not the same.
Simon: You can't expect him to understand the way I do, your royalness.
Lana: (laughs, then walks off with Simon while holding his arm)
Kevin: H-hey! I can party with the best of them!
Lana: Oh, I wish I could show Kevin how it used to be in Videoland!
Simon: Ah, yes. The ceremonies, the glamorous balls, the rich, the famous! The peasants groveling at your dainty feet.
(Lana sees Hippo and Eggplant disguised walking in front of them)
Lana: That's it! You, there, wandering minstrels! (runs after them)
Eggplant Wizard: Who, us?
Lana: Yes, you! Are you free this evening? I want you to play at my royal ball!
Simon: A ball? Tonight? Oh dear, that's a short notice for my tailor!
Lana: I'll invite everyone in Videoland, just like the old days!
Eggplant Wizard: You're inviting everybody, even Princess Zelda and Link?
Lana: Of course! Why?
Eggplant Wizard: Uh...uh, well, you see--uh...my partner and me are from Hyrule, yeah!
Lana: You may start at 8. Until then, help yourself to something to eat in the palace.
King Hippo: Food! (Eggplant covers his mouth and laughs nervously)
(Lana and Simon walk away)
Eggplant Wizard: Forget the food. This is the chance of a lifetime!
King Hippo: Forget the food?!
Eggplant Wizard: Don't you get it? If Link and Zelda are coming here, there won't be anybody left on Hyrule but their flunkies!
King Hippo: They'll give us food! 
Eggplant Wizard: No, banana brain! The alarm's been turned off, we can steal the Triforce for ourselves! 
King Hippo: Then we can make Ganon's servants give us food!
(many guests from all over Videoland begin to arrive to the Power of Palace, including Link and Zelda, who are all dressed up and are arriving in a carriage being flown by dragons)
A man: Her Royal Highness the Princess Zelda of Hyrule! And...uh... Link... (Link and Zelda walk on the red carpet with everyone staring in awe)
Lana: Zelda, I'm so glad you could come! 
Zelda: Wouldn't have missed it. Seems like eons since we could relax and just have fun!
(Kevin sees Link struggling with his outfit, and both of them laugh)
Kevin: You look ridiculous.
Link: You, too! I'm not cut out for this.
Lana: Now we can open the ball! (grabs Kevin by his arm)
Kevin: Uh, I don't know how to dance that stuff!
Lana: Then it's time you learned! (drags Kevin to the dance floor)
Kevin: Heh, princesses.
(Kevin and Lana dance together, as well as Link and Zelda. Hippo and Eggplant are dressed up and are also on the dance floor)
Eggplant Wizard: Link and Zelda are here!
King Hippo: Then let's beat it! I'm starved! (is poked by Simon) Ah!
Simon: May I have this dance?
King Hippo: Ok, but only a short one! I have a place to go. (Simon dances with King Hippo)
(later, the Hylian soldiers are asleep in the castle, so Hippo and Eggplant infiltrate the room where the Triforce is)
King Hippo: Hey, get over here, will ya?! And help me bag these gizmos.
(meanwhile, Mother Brain arrives at the front of the castle and wakes up a soldier)
Mother Brain: Knock, knock! Who's there?! (shoots a beam and the soldier runs away) Mother Brain, that's who!
Eggplant Wizard: It's Mother Brain! Let's get out of here! (Hippo pulls the Triforce of Power while Eggplant gets the Triforce of Courage. The Triforce of Wisdom lands in the middle of both of them)
(at the party, everyone is dancing with Kevin playing the guitar)
Kevin: Now this is my kind of jam!
Zelda: Ah! Ungh... (head starts to hurt and faints)
Link: Princess Zelda, what's the matter?
Zelda: The...the...Triforce.
Lana: What did she say?
Link: Something's happened to the Triforce. And if it's destroyed, it could finish her!
Kevin: How does Princess Zelda know that something happened to the Triforce?
Link: There's a magic bond between them.
Lana: You mean if something's happened to it...
(at North Castle, Mother Brain destroys one of the castle's walls)
Mother Brain: I thought that I said you were fired!
Eggplant Wizard: Do you smell something bad, old pal? 
King Hippo: Yeah, old chum! Smells like bimbo in a bottle!
Mother Brain: Do you pitiful imbeciles know who you're talking to? When I'm through with you, you'll be--oh, oh, ow! 
King Hippo: Here, let me help you with that punchline. (gets out Triforce of Power and makes a giant boxing glove appear, which knocks Mother Brain out of the castle) Wow! This thing really works!
Eggplant Wizard: Yeah! And it must have been a real blow to her ego. (laughs. Makes a banana appear, which turns into a rocket that they can use to escape from the castle. The next day, Link, Zelda, Kevin, Lana and Duke arrive at the scene)
Kevin: Wow, it looks like an earthquake hit this joint.
Zelda: Oh, no. Look! (points to the pedestal that held the Triforce, which is now empty. She runs over to it and starts crying)
Link: We should have never turned off the alarm! 
Zelda: (turns over to see the Triforce of Wisdom on the ground) It's the Triforce of Wisdom! (picks it up) Thank goodness you're safe! 
Kevin: Where are the other two pieces?
Zelda: (concentrates) It will guide us to them, but we must hurry. The forces that bind Hyrule together are coming apart.
(meanwhile, in a desert)
King Hippo: We're out of gas, stupid beanbrain! Why didn't you bring a bigger squash?! (the ship crashes and both of them go rolling down a hill)
Eggplant Wizard: Don't blame me! You're the boo-head who got us lost!
King Hippo: I oughta put you... (starts crying loudly, and a Geldarm pops up from the sand. Out of fear, Eggplant drops the Triforce of Courage and it starts to glow)
Geldarm: How can I help you, masters? (bows)
Eggplant Wizard: Hey, I forgot! With the Triforces, we can boss Ganon's servants!
King Hippo: Ok, stretch! Take us where there's some chow!
Eggplant Wizard: Yeah, and some nice peachy babes!
Geldarm: As you wish.
(the group is seen walking through the desert, but Zelda starts to feel weak and sits on the ground, breathing heavily)
Lana: Kevin, she's weakening! We have to stop and rest.
Zelda: No! The sooner we find the Triforces, the better I'll be. (the Triforce of Wisdom starts to glow, and Zelda stands up) "Patience is the jewel in the ground of Wisdom."
Kevin: Say what?
Link: It likes to sound mysterious.
(nearby, three Stalfos appear)
Stalfos: You mean to disturb our masters?!
Lana: If they have the Triforces, you can count on it!
Stalfos: Then prepare to pay! (points sword and two Moblins come out of the ground, but Kevin easily zaps both of them with his Zapper. Link defeats two other Stalfos)
Lana: Zelda, behind you!
(Kevin zaps another Stalfos)
Kevin: Way to go, team! Maybe the worse is over. (the group falls down a hole that opened in the ground) Hey, I recognize this place. But it can't be, it's too nuts!
Lana: What do you mean?
Zelda: This looks like the tunnel to Island Palace, but...it's not supposed to be here!
(Link dodges a boomerang)
Link: Goriya!
Zelda: (with the Triforce of Wisdom) "The bondings between lands are slipping. We must reunite the Triforces before it's too late".
Link: (crouching to avoid the boomerangs) I'll run interfering with my shield! (the group is walking behind Link while he uses his shield to block the incoming boomerangs. Kevin then uses his Power Pad to move to the left quickly and zap the Goriya)
(outside of the tunnel, they confront another Iron Knuckle on a horse. Kevin tries to shoot it with his zapper but to no avail, so they jump out of the way and allow the Iron Knuckle to fall into a nearby lake. The group then arrives to a nearby tower)
Link: It'll take an hour to blast our way through this!
Kevin: (looks up to see a bird flying overheard) Not if I say, "Pause!" (Kevin presses the "pause" button on his Power Pad. The bird freezes and gives a chance to the heroes to tie a rope around the bird's foot and around them) Hang tight, guys! (the bird flies them and they reach the tower's entrance)
Link: Sounds like someone's throwing a party, and we weren't invited!
(inside, Eggplant and Hippo are celebrating along with Moblins, Helmethead and... "peachy babes")
Kevin: I don't believe it! It's King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard!
Lana: (Zelda weakens and rests on Lana) Hold on, Zelda, just hold on.
Kevin: Alright, you two meatheads! Hand over the Triforces!
King Hippo: Haha, you gotta be kidding! No way! (holding the Triforce of Power)
Eggplant Wizard: Stand back! Or I'll veggie-size ya! (holding the Triforce of Courage)
Kevin: (puts down weapon) Ok, fellas. You win. (begins to walk up to them)
King Hippo: We do?
Kevin: You can even have the third Triforce.
Lana: Kevin, what are you saying!
Link: He's right, Lana. At least this way they'll be back together. And Hyrule and Zelda will be safe. (takes Triforce of Wisdom fromt Lana and takes it to Kevin)
Kevin: Here. Take it. Us game masters like being on the winning side. (just as he's about to give them the Triforce, he kicks the Triforce of Courage from his hands and lands in front of Lana. While Hippo is distracted, Link uses his sword to make the Triforce of Power drop to his feet)
Link: Yeah, on our side! (picks up the Triforce of Power. Link, together with Kevin and Lana, hold the Triforce pieces up to the sky, giving Zelda back her powers as well as destroying the monsters that were in the party)
Eggplant Wizard: (cowering in fear) Please, don't hurt me!
Zelda: I want you out of my kingdom, now! (a warp hole is created in which Eggplant and Hippo go through)
Mother Brain: Aren't you glad that I let you come back home again? To be nice and snuggly?
Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo: (both inside pool balls on top of a pool table) Yes, Mother Brain.
Mother Brain: Well then bring back the Triforce with you! (hits a pool ball in the direction of Eggplant and Hippo)
Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo: Yes, Mother Brain! (are hit by the ball) Ah!
==See Also==
*"Quest for the Potion of Power" episode transcript
*"Once Upon a Time Machine" episode transcript
Category:Episode Transcripts