(S1) Finale: Battle Against the Blind Idiot God

“AWIGHTTTT!” HAM declared, brandishing his cleaver as he faced the group. Errrr404 shifted his foot back, taking a defensive stance. Errrr182 powered up, despite still being a fucking ghost, as he prepared to Star Platinum the shit out of HAM. Finally, OP!Sans took out his sword, raising it into the air, and conjuring THE POWWWEEEEEER, becoming He-Sans.
“Wait, where the fuck is everyone else?!” He-Sans asked, looking around. They were the only ones there now. River, Adam, Error, and Funnyverse were just Qui-GONE. What dah hell???
“Oi, mate! You didn’t figure it out?” HAM asked, smoking a blunt with a clear smirk on his face. Darn that asshole, what was he up to?! Papaya and Willy Wonka exchanged worried glances, before turning back to HAM and Beta Betty, who was just sitting beneath HAM as he stood there, kind of awkwardly.
“Figure WHAT OUT?!” He-Sans roared, pointing at HAM, who smirked in response to this like some cringe anime villain. Uh oh.
“None of them were real! Error, he’sa just a puppet o’ mine. Funnyverse? He ain’t even from ‘round here, pal! Adam? He’s foikin’ dead man! River? He’s still hiding somewhere ‘n fishin, I thinks!” HAM confirmed. 404 and Papaya fell to their knees, in horror (or, well, Papaya would’ve if he had knees). Oh no. It was true, all of this was just… an illusion!
“But… it can’t be-“ He-Sans responded, shaking with anger as he leveled his blade at HAM, who just smirked.
“Well, Error was kinda ‘ere. He ain’t gonna remember any of this, though, I wager. Smacked him pretty good, I think. Funnyverse? He may, not sure.” HAM theorized, thinking to himself, as He-Sans and the Errrs faced down HAM and Betty.
“Uh, Sans?” Beta Betty asked, raising her hand. He turned, smiling and pointing to her as if he was a teacher answering a question.
“I don’t think I’m- really equipped for this. All I have is a blob that can block a few attacks (and it’s connected to my soul so I don’t really know if that’s /blocking/ attacks?), and the ability to make this one spear thing, so can I go home?” Beta Betty asked simply. HAM smiled in response, oddly understanding for a psychotic drug addict.
“Oi, nah, nah, dun’t worry about it luv. You go on, go, go.” He motioned, as she got up, hopping through a nearby hole, and fleeing from the temple. As HAM turned back to his two enemies, 404 threw a haymaker straight at his face, causing him to stagger. He-Sans ran over, slicing up, knocking him back again. 404 raised his arm, as Papaya flew forward, throwing a barrage of punches, before knocking HAM into the air.
HAM landed, as the two dashed after him. He smirked, as if he hadn’t even felt all the pain. “A’WIGHT! MY TURN!” He declared, doing a double-kick to knock both of them back. He dashed over to Willy Wonka, stomping down towards him. Willy rolled, as Papaya182 threw a double-punch at HAM. HAM wrapped his arms, before headbutting Papaya, and leaping over to Willy, crouching down and elbowing him in the ribs. He-Sans flew over, as HAM got up, doing a jump kick to knock his sword off-course, before taking out his latest device from r/CursedWeapons. Holy shit, he has a whip that’s literally a spine.
He snapped it at He-Sans, staggering him, before taking out his axe and sending it at him. He impaled it in his chest, pulling him over, before kicking him away. Billy leapt up, tackling HAM and attempting to bear hug him. HAM struggled for a bit, before grabbing him by his fingers, peeling his hands off. He bent his arms around, before kicking him in the back, knocking him to his knees.
Papaya threw a barrage of punches at HAM, as he frowned at this new attempt to properly strike him. 
“YER MAKIN’ ME MAD!” He roared. Holy shit, his blunt fired a lazer at Papaya, knocking him back. HAM kicked Billy Mays in the face, knocking him away. Willy Wonka stumbled over to He-Sans, as they both groaned in pain from their injuries as they faced down HAM. 
“Is that all mate? I ain’t impressed.” HAM asked, smirking, as he spun his axe around a bit as a flourish. 
“He’s kicking our ass. How are we supposed to beat him?” Billy Mays asked, as He-Sans stood there, his chest heaving as HAM stood tall, smirking at them as if he was already more than confident in his victory.
“I think you’re gonna have to use Buzzfly.” He-Sans said firmly, as Billy Mays sighed. HAM began to approach, as Billy Mays moved in front of He-Sans defensively. He cracked his knuckles in a stretch, as Papaya182 moved in front.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Errrr404 and Errrr182 screamed in unison. Holy shit, they were going fucking super saiyan. A shockwave of power came out, as HAM shielded his face. A beam of power shot into the sky, breaking through the roof of the Temple of Gad, as Buzzfly continued to power up.
After a blinding flash of light, the surge of power stopped. HAM lowered his hand, to see, standing there, Buzzfly404. Zamn, Billy Mays had fused with Dekios to enter his epic form.
“Well mate, it don’t matter what forms yew pull out of yer ass, I’m still gon-“ He said, only to be cut off by Buzzfly dashing over, punching him in the face at full force. HAM went flying, tumbling a few times, before recovering.
“Oi! That’s what I’m TALKIN’ about!” He declared, before bursting into a dash with a blast of energy. Buzzfly did the same, as the two clashed. The battle was truly EPICO, blasts of energy flying everywhere as the two rivals duked it out. He-Sans depowered back to OP Sans, turning to the entrance. It was locked, but where was the key?!
Buzzfly got the better of the clashes, swinging a leg up and knocking HAM back, before moving into the air. Strange wing-like structures formed of energy and bones behind him, before firing off like a barrage of missiles. HAM raised his arms to shield himself, taking the explosion head-on. He tumbled back, flying into the wall. 
“Oi, yer goin’ a bit fast for me! I think it’s time we get serious!” HAM said, roaring before entering his WURM form. He spiraled into an attack towards Buzzfly, biting towards him. Buzzfly narrowly dodged, kicking him in his throat. Wurm coughed up smoke, before Buzzfly decked him in the face. Wurm spun around, before his tendrils shot out to bind Buzzfly. He smiled.
“Now I’ve got ye! Time to face your worst fear!” He declared, opening his mouth. He attempted to devour Buzzfly now, but OP Sans had returned, slamming a frying pan into Wurm. The pan hurt him a surprising amount, before OP Sans threw his lightsaber to Buzzfly. Oo, now Wurm was in for it. He released a flurry of slashes to Wurm, slicing his tendrils and his form apart, until it was done.
“Alright… I think-“ Buzzfly said, being cut off as Wurm’s hand rose. It raised a joint to his head, as it was smoked. The pieces of his corpse spun together in a dark storm, as they all heard HAM’s cackle from within the dastardly maelstrom. 
“Oi mate, yer in for it now!” He said.
“Awh for fuck’s sake, ANOTHER form?!” Buzzfly asked woefully. A burst of dark energy shot out, revealing… HAM’S DRUG-LORD form.
“Yer ‘boutta get baked, mate.” HAM declared, raising the Omni-Blunt. Holy shit. This was it, his strongest form, and with some strong shit. If a normal person smoked the Omni-Blunt, they’d literally bake themselves to death. Yet here he was, smoking it casually. Buzzfly turned to OP Sans, unsure of what to do at this point.
“Wait, go get Error! Maybe Buzzfly666 can defeat him!” Buzzfly reasoned, as OP Sans nodded, dashing off. Surely, even if some of Error was illusionary, his fusion would have the same impact, right? HAM dashed at Buzzfly now, smacking him with the Omni-Joint. Buzzfly staggered, returning with a blast of energy. HAM evaded, returning with his own cliche laser attack. BOR-ING!
The two exchanged lasers a few times, until HAM got a shot off. Buzzfly fell, as HAM barreled towards him like a lion on the hunt. He smashed the Omni-Joint into Buzzfly like a haymaker, knocking Buzzfly into the air. He flew into the air, before punching him down. Buzzfly bounced off of the ground, before being elbowed into it again. Buzzfly summoned a series of bones to stab towards HAM, but he just dashed away, before lifting Buzzfly up and smashing him into the wall.
“It’s o’er fer you mate…” He said, raising a hand and charging the dark purplish energy in it. HAM pinned Buzzfly to the wall, as tendrils shot out of his hand, binding him in place. It was over. HAM’s beam powered up, but suddenly, OP Sans dashed back, carrying a very confused Error.
“I THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS A DREAM!? WHO ARE YOU?! WH-“ Error yelled, as OP Sans threw him at Buzzfly, fusing into Buzzfly666, as the burst of energy broke him free of HAM’s grip, burning part of his hand.
“Oi’, ‘nuff of this!” HAM shouted, firing off his H.E.R.O.I.N. attack at Buzzfly666. Holy shit. Buzzfly was still doing his transformation, how could he react in time!? 
Suddenly, he raised his hand. A shield of energy caught the attack, before Buzzfly666 fired a beam of his own. Holy shit, they were doing a DBZ energy beam battle. Never seen THAT one before, geez.
The beam continued to clash, only for the heroin attack to be pushed back. HAM’s bloodshot eyes opened wide and clear, as the blast overcame him now, sending horrible pain and energy exerting all across his body. Even with how horribly baked HAM was, he still felt every inch of his body being incinerated.
“NOOOO, THIS CAN’T BE! I’M THE MOST BAKED BEIN’ IN THE MULTIVERSE!” He shouted, as the beam overpowered him, burning off his DRUG-LORD form, as he rolled to a stop, turning back to normal. Buzzfly666 sighed with relief, as HAM laid there, groaning in pain. His joint had fallen out, and his eyes were flickering.
Suddenly, Azathoth burst past them with the key to the locked room! He opened it, unveiling the shrine of Gad.
“Oi, Azathoth, help meh over hereman! I’ll dew yer wish!” HAM said, raising his hand weakly. Azathoth scoffed in response to this, laughing off the idea that he’d aid his fallen comrade. HAM responded with a puzzled expression, what was Azathoth doing?
“Oh, you sweet summer child. You honestly thought I wanted YOUR wish? You’re an UTTER FOOL!” Azathoth declared, smirking to himself smugly at the seeming execution of his plan. HAM blinked a few times, as he stood up to face Azathoth, his puzzled expression remaining- had Betty abandoned him in working with Azathoth!?
“Oi? What’s this all about? I smoked the blunt, it’d end the Multiverse! That was our agreement, innit?” HAM asked, as Azathoth smirked. OP Sans stood behind Buzzfly666, who took a defensive stance against Azathoth.
“I’m altering the terms of our agreement, per-say. I never wanted to DESTROY the Multiverse. In fact, I need it quite alive. So, YOU’RE A LOOSE END!” He said. He raised several of his tendrils, firing them at HAM to finish what Buzzfly had started. Instinctively, OP Sans leapt over, raising his lightsaber and spinning it to block the Tendrils, despite taking a few stabs, and collapsing.
“Hmph. Well, it doesn’t matter. Now, I shall place my hand on the shrine, and-“ He said, but before he could finish, Buzzfly666 smashed into him at lightning speed, knocking him into one of the indestructible walls. Azathoth knocked him back with a tendril, before frowning his giant mouth.
“Oh? Really? You’re going to try and fight me? Fine.” He said, as his body began to flex and mold. His tendrils sharpened at the end, his teeth shifting and spinning like a giant garbage disposal, as his eye in his mouth opened wide, before his mouth let out a violent roar. Buzzfly666 turned to HAM, who looked up at him. HAM and OP Sans dashed towards him, and touched his hand, fusing into… ALOTTA666?!?!
Alotta666 now faced Azathoth, who leapt into action, propelling himself forward with his tendrils. Alotta raised his arm, summoning OP Sans’s lightsaber, as he summoned the power of He-Sans to rush forward, slicing through a series of Azathoth’s attacks, until he was overpowered and knocked into the wall, shaking the entire temple with the force. 
“We won’t let you win!” Alotta said, getting up and raising his lightsaber again. Azathoth flew towards him, his eye fixated on the five-man fusion with only the utmost of violent intentions.
“You’ve not got a choice in the matter! You’re nothing but meager mortals, I am the Great Old One!” He roared, as his mass of tendrils and limbs reached towards Alotta666. Alotta raised his lightsaber into the air, as light flashed around him. 
“IIIII HAAAAVEEEE THE POWEEEERRR!” He declared, as a lightning bolt struck the area, stunning Azathoth. Alotta put his blade away, retrieving HAM’s axe, and sending it towards Azathoth’s eye. Azathoth snarled, catching the axe with several tendrils. Alotta summoned a series of Dark Blasters, striking Azathoth with the series of blows, as he growled, before destroying the blasters with a strike from one of his tendrils.
Alotta was now in range to strike Azathoth, who closed his mouth and eyelid to shield them from the oncoming attack from Alotta. 
“NYEH-HEH-HEH!” Alotta cackled, pulling his fist back as it charged with immense energy. He punched Azathoth straight in the mouth, with immense force, as his body twisted and contorted to take the blow from Alotta. He flew back, crashing into the wall, shaking Gad’s temple from the utterly immense force. Frankly, if Gad himself wasn’t holding the temple together, the force would’ve annihilated it and turned it into a black hole- zamn!
Azathoth opened his mouth, growling in pain from the force of that blow. He shook it off, now growling with rage.
“Oh, so you WANT a fight? Alright! You can HAVE your fight!” He roared now, his body twisting and mutating further to augment his strength, as he dashed at Alotta. Alotta punched at him, but he sped past it, wrapping Alotta in his tendrils, as he slammed him against the wall. He opened his mouth, releasing a massive dark blast of energy to combo off, sending Alotta flying back. Alotta bounced off of the wall, as Azathoth flew over, stabbing all of his tendrils into Alotta. 	
Alotta screamed in pain, as he collapsed. Azathoth brought his tendril down, as Alotta knocked it aside, only to receive a new blow to the face. Alotta got up again, blocking a series of blows, and sending a blast of energy at Azathoth. Azathoth devoured it, before bending Alotta’s bones to the point of breaking, snapping his body in two. Alotta regenerated, but at the price of OP Sans, who flew away from the fusion, leaving ANGRY666. Angry blocked a series of blows, until Azathoth grabbed him again, punching him through another reality, as Angry lost control of HAM, turning back to Buzzfly666. 
Buzzfly sent a massive blast of energy, but Azathoth simply devoured it, stabbing him at every angle, sending Error flying into the air. Leaving, now, just Buzzfly404. Buzzfly404 was essentially defenseless, as Azathoth simply strolled up to him. Now, tearing him clean in half, as he separated into Billy Mays and Papaya.
“You’re NOTHING! You are an insignificant speck in an existence you barely can comprehend!” Azathoth roared, slamming a tendril into Billy Mays. Billy Mays flew back, tumbling across the ground. He got up, coughing out blood, only to be slammed into the ceiling and walls repeatedly. 
“You’ve reached the end of the rope, and you failed to see it coming from the mile away you should’ve! It’s over, and now, you’re gonna die!” He said, slamming Billy Mays into the floor one final time, blood splattered everywhere. Azathoth opened his mouth, its many teeth spinning, intent on devouring Billy Mays and shredding him to pieces. Suddenly, he heard a yell.
“Hold it right there, Azathoth!” OP Sans said. Azathoth looked up, and what he saw he couldn’t believe.
OP Sans, aided by Papaya with what strength the two had left, had crawled over to Gad’s Shrine- HOW COULD HE HAVE FORGOTTEN?! He was so… stupid! HAM was unconscious, but the other two- DAMN IT!
Azathoth stood there. He didn’t know what to do- he was faced with his final fate. Before him, was a man who could, just then, wish him out of existence. He stared, his tendrils trembling with rage.
“Any last words?” OP Sans simply asked, breathing heavily as blood spurted from a crack in his skull.
“I have three… yeah.” Azathoth said, turning now to Billy Mays.
“BURN IN HELL!” He roared, as he sent his tendrils at both Willy Wonka and OP Sans. As his tendrils approached, OP smirked.
“I wish Azathoth to be destroyed.” He said simply. Now, Azathoth was frozen in place. His tendrils mere inches away from OP Sans, and having delivered a few surface-level wounds to Willy Wonka.
“I… why can’t I move?!” He asked. Suddenly, from the shrine, rose Gad, in all of his glory. His massive muscles, bulging at a rate that seemed beyond inhuman, grabbed the frozen Azathoth’s tendrils, crushing them effortlessly. The Virgin Azathoth stood there, quivering in the sheer terror of Gad’s awesomeness as Gad rose from his shrine.
“Sorry, man, but it’s game over.” Gad said. He now dashed over to the frozen Azathoth, winding up his fist.
“NO- NO- I CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING, DON’T KILL ME, I CAN’T DIE!” He said, his pleas turning incomprehensible. Gad ignored them, delivering a haymaker unlike any ever seen. Azathoth first, felt nothing. It was like time had frozen as Gad’s blow struck him. Then, the pain- a lot of pain. The pain got worse and worse, as his eye popped, and was disabled from the blow.
Azathoth roared, shifting and changing incomprehensibly, as Gad struck him. His forms shrunk and shrunk, as more and more of his matter was eviscerated by the Gaddest Punch anyone had ever seen. What felt like hours of being struck was only really about 1.2 seconds. Impressive, most people couldn’t take a punch like that and exist for that long. Azathoth let out one last primal roar of rage, before he was finally eviscerated. Gad disappeared now, the wish fulfilled.
Billy Mays groaned in pain, blinking a few times, as he crawled towards the shrine. Papaya floated over, helping him get up, and walk towards it. Papaya looked at the Shrine, as did Will.
“LOOK, SANS, TAKE YOUR WISH. AFTER ALL, YOU’VE GONE ALL THIS WAY.” Papaya said. Will shook his head.
“No, Paps. You’ve had to be a ghost this whole time, make your wish.” He said. Papyrus paused, before smiling. He put his incorporeal hand on the shrine, looking at the unconscious Error and HAM.
“I WISH… I WISH THAT, AFTER MY BROTHER WILL MAKE HIS WISH, THAT THIS SHRINE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT FIELTY FOR WISH. ITS POWERS ARE TOO GREAT.” Papyrus declared. Gad appeared now, looking down at Papyrus.
He nodded. Such a selfless wish was perfect.
Billy Mays rested his hand on the shrine. He’d waited for this moment for a long time, and there was no question what he wanted. He’d had his mind on it for this whole journey. It’d been his goal through and through, his driving force. He didn’t even have to think about it for a second. He knew as soon as he put his hand on the shrine what he wanted.
“I wish for the restoration of Betatale.” He said calmly and assertively, despite the wounds across his body still pouring blood. Gad appeared.
“As you wish.” He said, raising both his hands. Energy crackled within them, as flashes appeared- images of Betatale, as he began to source the energy of an entire universe. To be frank, destroying a universe was far easier than creating one- and recreating one, at that. He harnessed more and more of his power now, focusing it.
He now opened his arms, creating a brilliant flash of light, as the Shrine began to collapse around them all. The last thing Billy Mays remembered was his brother’s embrace, as the shrine room was destroyed.
===                                                                                                  𝐄𝐍𝐃 ===
William woke up in a cherry blossom field. He was in his undershirt and relatively casual clothing, wearing a few bandages. He hurt- his chest hurting the most, to be honest. He winced in pain, as he stood up, seeing his torn up clothes hung on a nearby tree. He saw a bridge, and someone with short, brown hair sitting on a bench with their back turned to him on the opposite side. He got up, walking over to the bridge.
He limped, but made his way towards them. Every step hurt, but he didn’t care. He was confused where he was- Papaya, Harrus, and Jacob seemed nowhere to be found. His memory was hazy, he didn’t quite remember how he had gotten as injured as he was. As he stumbled towards the figure, the figure seemingly heard his footsteps, and rose up.
He got a clear look at them, as they turned around to face him. It was Chara, wearing a simple, yet elegant white dress. Noticing him, they ran over now, embracing him in a hug. He paused for a moment, before returning the hug, saying nothing for a few minutes.
There was only the chirping of birds in the background, as the cherry blossoms flew past in the wind. Will stood there for a moment, saying nothing, nor did Chara. The two simply embraced in the peaceful forest, as they listened to the sounds of nature in the background. 
After a moment, they both backed up.
“I was afraid you were dead, to be honest- you looked pretty badly injured. I tended to your wounds the best I could, but I’m afraid you still probably aren’t in the best state.” Chara explained, William noticed a single tear falling from one of their eyes, as he slightly approached, using part of his shirt to wipe the tear, before putting it back down.
“Don’t worry, dollface, I wouldn’t just go and die on you.” He said, smiling lightly as he stood there. The wind blew past, lifting the two’s clothes slightly as they just stared at each other. The air was silent, as if there was slight tension.
“So… are we…” He asked, being cut off.
“Yes, we’re home. I don’t know how, and I don’t really care- but we’re home at last. I haven’t seen any of the others, do you know where they are?” Chara asked, as Will scratched the back of his skull, a somewhat sheepish expression on his face.
“Er, no, I was hoping you’d know.” He said. Chara smiled in response.
“Well, that’s fine. Let’s just go get your clothes, then we’ll walk for a bit until we find someone.” Chara said. They helped Will across the bridge, as he retrieved his torn up jacket, putting it back on with the hood down, as the two slowly advanced towards the forest.
“Hey, Will, can you tell me all about your big journey when we get back home?” Chara asked, looking up at him with a certain innocence that only she could replicate. Dammit, Will felt himself getting slightly flushed in response to this, before recovering.
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” He said, as the two silently walked through the forest, the sounds of nature continued past. Will felt at peace, only broken by a sudden rustling in the bushes. Both he and Chara staggered, as Frisk leapt out of the bushes, now sporting far edgier gear. Wow, okay. He really was an anime antagonist now.
“HA, I GOT YOU, WILLY WONKA! TASTE MY BLADE!” He said, whipping out a Determination sword, as he slashed him across the chest. William fell back, as Chara screamed. Frisk grabbed Chara by the wrist.
“hEY- let gO OF ME!” Chara yelled angrily, trying to free herself, as Frisk yanked her along with him as he ran away.
“This is for your own good, sister!” He said, running off now. Willy rose back up, groaning in pain, before cracking his neck. He took a runner’s stance, ignoring his wounds. He had a job to do.
Finally, he ran after Frisk and Chara, as Frisk bolted off into the distance… and onto a new adventure.
Category:Season 1
Category:Canon
Category:Story
Category:Episodes
Category:Written by Reaper
Category:Finale