Kenny Scares Satan (transcript)

This is a transcript for a Random Klip called Kenny Scares Satan.
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*Narrator: Halloween is no different in South Park. Pirates, skeletons, and monsters! [laughs evilly]Ohh, sorry. Everyone having fun. Well, almost everyone. [Kenny cleaning the erasers in a classroom, The door creaks open and Kenny jumps in surprise]
*Kenny: Who's there? [door creaks open some more as Kenny goes back to cleaning erasers. Turns around and 3 pieces of paper spelling out "boo" on a wire. Kenny speeds up the cleaning of the erasers until he finishes]
*Kenny: Ok, Mr. Garrison, the erasers are clean, I'm leaving! 
[there is no answer from the other end, so Kenny decides to leave. He walks out and he is stopped by a religious woman]
*RW: Little boy, do you know that Halloween is the work of the devil?
*[Kenny is annoyed so he pretends to not know what she's talking about]
*Kenny: No. Who is this Devil you speak of?
*RW: Have a seat, little boy. [runs while saying "hot, hot, hot" sits on a log. She puts a campfire in the middle of them] Every year on Halloween night, Satan descends on South Park, in an inferno, just like this. Only bigger! Satan swoops down and starts condemning people's souls.  [Cartman appears behind Kenny in a devil costume]
*Cartman: You are now damned to hell! [Kenny jumps up screaming]
*Cartman: Ah, Scaredy McKormick gets easier to scare every year! [Cartman takes his costume off as Kenny, behind a trashcan, sees the devil was Cartman]
*Kenny: Humph, Cartman!
*Cartman: Hope you're not too scared to come to the party at the rec. center tonight, Scaredy McCormick! [laughs while walking out, but then he walks up behind Kenny again] Eternal Damnation. [Kenny runds out screaming and beings to walk home. Cartman laughs as the woman scowls at him.]
*RW: Little boy, this is no laughing matter. Satan will be walking South Park tonight.
*Cartman: Yeah, yeah, like hell he will. [walks away as the woman looks shocked]
*RW: Blasphemy!!!
*[Kenny he is walking home, he sees a jack-o-lantern and then he walks up to a kid in a cowboy costume]
*Kid: Twick-ow-tweat! [Kenny screams and runs away. The kids parents walk up next to their son]
*Mother: It's ok, son. That's just Scaredy McCormic. [Kenny is walking home until Ms. Cartman drives up and honks sending Kenny screaming and jumping to hold onto the street light]
*Ms. Cartman: Happy Halloween, Scaredy McCormick. [drives off]
*Kenny: The name's Kenny! [Cut later at his house, inside a pumpkin. Kenny is inside of it] I don't get it. Every Halloween, no matter how hard I try, everyone seems to scare me. [carves his pumpkin from the inside] Well, I'm sick of it. [Kenny comes out] No more Scaredy McCormick! [notices his pumpkin and screams while running into his closet]
*Kyle: Kenny! Are you ready?
*Kenny:Stan and Kyle are here! I'm going to scare them! It's my turn. [opens the door and tries to scare the boys] Rawr! [Stan has some funny glasses on, while Kyle is wearing a suit and fedora]
*Stan: What's up, Kenny? [Kenny screams. Stan takes his glasses off]
*Kyle: What's up with you?
*Kenny: Why can't I be frightening for once? Where's my chance?
*Stan: Well, if you want to be scary, you got to need a good costume. [later, Kenny walks out of his closet in a dime store devil costume]
*Kenny: What do you think?
*Stan: You're going as a former president?
*Kenny: No, no! I'm supposed to be Satan!
*Kyle: Uhh...something's missing. I know! [he plucks a branch shrub from Kenny's front yard to make a pitchfork.] There.
*Kenny: I don't know, guys. [doorbell rings]
*Stan: Come on, Kenny. It's kindergartners! They're easy to scare! [door opens]
*Kids: Trick-or-treat!
*Kenny: [jumps out and tries to scare the kids like he did his friends] Rawr-rawr! [kids laugh]
*Kid #1: Look, it's the haunted lollipop!
*Kenny: Ok, ok, here's your candy.
*Kid #1: No, please, that was enough of a treat, thank you. [kids walk away laughing]
*Kenny: I don't get it.
*Karen (Kenny's sister): Kenny, look at my new paper Satan! [Karen holds safety scissors in her right hand a has a puppet on her left hand] Oooh, scary.
*Kenny: That is it!
*Karen: What's it?
*Kenny: [to his friends] What's the difference between that Satan and me? 
*Stan and Kyle: Hm....
*Kenny: Satan doesn't have a big round head like me. All we have to do is make my head more pointy, and boo, I'm scary! [Kenny is now sitting on a chair in Stan's garage. Stan and Kyle have goggles on]
*Stan: Ok, you ready for this?
*Kenny: [shows Satan] Remember, like this. [Stan razors off the sides of Kenny's head while blood squirts out]
*Kyle: Are you sure you want to do this?
*Kenny: Yeah, my costume needs to look it's scariest! [Stan and Kyle razors off more and Stan uses a piece of Kenny's hair to wipe his forehead]
*Stan: All right, let's get to it. [razors off more part. Later, Kenny is a pointy headed Satan]
*Kenny: What do you think?
*Stan: Perfect.
*Kyle: Now that's scary! [Stan puts on his funny glasses] Let's go scare somebody.[Kenny runs down a street trying to scare people]
*Kenny: Oooh...I'm Satan!
*Stan and Kyle: Oooh...we don't know who we are! [man opens door]
*Kenny: BWAHAHAHA! I'm Satan!
*Stan and Kyle: BWAHAHA!, We're two of comedy's greatest brothers! [both run off laughing]
*Man: Hey, don't you kids want your candy? [both jump behind a rock in the shape of a skeleton head]
*Stan: Oh boy, that was something. Your costume really packs a punch.
*Kenny: Do you think?
*Kyle: Oh, no question! You scared the balls off that guy!
*Kenny: Who should we scare next?
*Stan: There's a whole party just full of people at the rec. center and the Devil is going to be show up uninvited! [kids laughing] Here comes someone now! [Kenny jumps out to scare the kids from earlier]
*Kenny: BWAHAHAHA! I'm Satan! [Kenny and friends run off laughing again]
*Kid #2: Wasn't that the Haunted Lollipop?
*Kid #3: I guess he's been demoted to a haunted popsicle! [kids laugh. Later, Randy Marsh is bobbing for apples with his daughter Shellie, who is dressed up as Frankenstein's bride. Mr. Marsh chokes on an apple]
*Shellie: DAD! You're embarrasshing me again! [walks off annoyed. Randy spits out the apple which shoots past Cartman and Butters]
*Butters: Howdy Eric, I mean, Satan. Great party, huh?
*Cartman: What the hell are you supposed to be?
[Stan, Kyle and Kenny are on the roof of the rec. center. Kenny is tied up with some rope which Stan and Kyle will lower him in with. Kenny opens a door on the roof to peek through to look at the party]
*Kyle: Are you ready, Kenny? [thumbs up from Kenny]
*Kenny: Ok, guys, kill the lights!
*[lights go off and Kenny is lowered in appearing with a scary look. Everyone is screaming as Stan and Kyle are talking through a megaphone with a vocal effect to scare everyone. Randy Marsh even hides in the apple barrel]
*Stan and Kyle: Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am the Prince of Darkness! Booga, booga, booga, booga! You are all going to hell!
*[a bird flies by Stan and Kyle, who shoo it away. It comes back to peck them, they scream and let the rope go plunging Kenny down onto the floor]
*Kid #3: [notices Kenny's snowsuit] Hey, that's no Satan, that's Kenny McCormick!
*Butters: Kenny?
*Cartman: Kenny. [everyone laughs]
*Kenny: [still dangling] Help! Help!
*Stan: [using megaphone] I am not Kenny. Those are my street clothes! [fire appears and the front doors are open]
*Satan: Enough!!! [everyone gasps as red flames comes into the rec. center A red figure appears]
*Randy: It's the real Satan!
*Satan: You bet your asses I'm Satan. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You're all going to hell. [everyone screams] Quiet!! [breathes out flames to burn them] You had it coming, you little pansies. Every year, people dressing up like me. [Cartman takes his costume off and whistles nonchalantly] Turning the Satan name in a laughingstock. But that's not the reason I'm condemning your souls. [pointing at Kenny, who is hanging upside down] No, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. Out of all the Satan costumes I've seen, yours is the most insulting.
*Kenny: Do you mean I'm not scary?
*Satan: You? Scary?! [laughs. Takes Kenny off the rope] Let me tell you about scary, kid. There's all kinds of scary things in the world. Spiders are scary, uhh, I'm scary. You, you're not scary. Ok, let's get this over with. [evil laugh which makes everyone scream in horror]
*Stan: Kenny!
*Satan: First, I got to get rid of this stupid costume. [takes off Kenny's devil costume. Satan runs out screaming. Kenny is now shown as having a skinless head with just a brain, eyes, and a mouth]
*Kenny: Hey, what do you know? I scared him! [laughs. Everyone runs out screaming] It worked. I scared everybody!
*Stan: Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
*Kenny: Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat. That's my brain.
*Kyle: Oh. [He and Stan run out screaming. fades to black]
*Kenny: Don't worry, it grows back!.
Category:Transcripts