Comments on The Greatest Email Ever Sent

It is said that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. This certainly holds true in the case of Will Indy and The greatest email ever sent. The mysterious Will Indy is truly one of the great, unsung philosophers of our time. Upon hearing the e-mail, John pleaded with Will to write another hate mail. Will Indy, like the aloof God he is, has not answered John's humble request. It is doubtful whether he ever will. Regardless of whether he decides to grace us with another masterpiece or not, Will Indy has given the world enough of a literary legacy to last it until Armageddon.
== Clarification of Terminology ==
While the Greatest Email Ever Sent is a concise and insightful document, some of its topical allusions may escape less well-informed readers. Some context may help to fully appreciate Will Indy's meaning.
==== Circlejerking ====
Circlejerking is a much-beloved Caribbean custom in which the entire village plays a game somewhat similar to tug o'war and sumo wrestling. The village divides into two teams which tug (or 'jerk') on opposite sides of a rope. Any player which steps outside of a circle drawn on the ground is disqualified.
While discussing the Greatest Email Ever Sent, John commented to Andy that every Thursday he and his scruds go down for their weekly circle-jerk. This is an error, all circle-jerks take place on Saturday, the official Day Of Circle-Jerks. Ask your mother if you need clarification.
==== NYT ====
NYT is the New York Times, an American newspaper which Will Indy seems to have confused with the British newspaper, the Times (also known as the Times of London, the Times: Original Flavour or The Daily Universal Register and Gentleman's Almanac). It is this Times that supports the Bugle.
While the NYT is a socialist newsletter in the tradition of red ink and low-quality photocopying, the Times of London is read primarily by aristocrats and men in bowler hats who wish to ignore their wives at breakfast.
It should also be noted that 'NYT' is a common acronym for the National Youth Theatre, of which John was a member - but not Andy. Perhaps Wil Indy is covertly alluding to this great inequality to distress Andy? We can only guess at his mighty purposes.
==== Radio America ====
Radio America is another bastion of American socialism, dedicated to overthrowing the American government and replacing it with a system based on that of North Korea. It hosts a number of the American left's elder statesmen, such as Hugo Chavez, Jonny Wilkinson, and Bill O'Reilly. It has been in financial trouble since the 2008 cancellation of its flagship discussion program, The Morning Commute with Che Guevara and Benito Mussolini, due to a falling out between the presenters.
==== Princes and Dismal Dukes ====
The United Kingdom peerage has nine princes, of whom His Royal Highness Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh is arguably the pottiest. There are currently 24 dukes, but none of them are dismal. Dismal Dukes were abolished in the Reform Act of 1928.
==== Caftan-Flapper ====
A caftan-flapper was a very trendy young Iranian woman in the 1920's. Ronald Reagen said of Caftan-Flappers: "If you send it long, those guys don't know whether their milks gone cold, or the commies have slept in their cat-box. Man, talk about hardcore, if I was on a boat, it sure as hell would feel windy. My foot feels funny, but not ha-ha funny ya-know?" He was very ill at the time.
==== Fundamentalists and Humour ====
Research suggests that most fundamentalists tend not to see the funny side of things. On the other hand, Muslims are just as susceptible to the chuckles as anyone else. Azhar Usman is a contemporary example, as is the Candian sitcom "Little Mosque on the Prarie"- but going further back in time, Ubayd Zakani was the greatest wit of Timurid Persia. His steamy satire "Hotties from the Present Day" was so spicy, that modern librarians are forced to keep it in plain brown paper bags.
==== Socialist Hate-Cheese ====
The socialist hate-cheese is an enormous wheel of brie kept under Lenin's Mausoleum in Red Square. It is believed that a special mould grew on the surface of this cheese, the spores of which infected the brains of Soviet citizens and gave them an irrational hatred of the West.
==== Bildeburg Conferences ====
Bildeburg conferences are the parliamentary meetings of the little-known world government.
==== Accidental Truth ====
The accusation that truth is only accidentally encountered has some validity.
== Analysis ==
Will Indy makes several interesting propositions in his Email of Greatness.
#Britain is under Sharia Law. This may be a reference to what Will sees as political correctness in Britain, or it might be a reference to the Archbishop of Canterbury's suggestion that Britain might have to adopt some aspects of Sharia law to accommodate its multicultural society. We may never know, and it may be beyond the powers of my puny brain to comprehend Will's true meaning.
#According to Will the "first rule of clowns" is to "embody fundamental truths in their satire". What does this mean? The greatest philosophical and literary minds of our time have yet to agree on an answer.
#Will Indy levels some very serious accusations at John. Apparently, John is a "Euro cretin" guilty of "wrecking his own nation and participating in mass cultural suicide", and has now emigrated to the US to "continue the spread of [his] mentally debilitating disease". Exactly how John is single-handedly destroying the planet, no one is quite sure, but it would make him the most powerful man in the world. According to Andy, John only emigrated to America because he got a "really good job offer". I guess this job offer was with Al-Qaeda.
Fuck you Chris
Category:Canonically Buglesque