Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words/Quotes

:Lisa: Guess what, mom? I'm a cruciverbalist!
:Marge: Oh, Lisa, another religion? You know, you'll just drop the whole thing at college when you get a Jewish boyfriend.
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:Homer: Marge, I'm going to a hardcore gay club and won't be home until three in the morning!
:Marge: Have fun!
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:(Bart enters Lisa's room and finds her surrounded by crosswords)
:Bart: Ay carumba!
:Lisa: Bart, I've fallen in love with crosswords.
:Bart: It finally happened. You've gone completely fruit loops.
:Lisa: Fruit loops! That's the answer to 38 down! (Writes in one of the crosswords) Toucan's delight.
:Bart: No, I mean you're loco in the cocoa.
:Lisa: Cocoa! (Writes in another crossword) Ice rink drink.
:Bart: You're losing it!
:Lisa: Losing it! (Writes in a crossword again) Risque '80s teen flick.
:Bart: Fine. Go nuts. see if I care.
:Lisa: Eye care. Optician's concern. Oh, thanks for your help, Bart. Bart... San Francisco people mover! (Writes in a crossword once more)
:Bart: Speaking of San Francisco people mover. (Scene cuts to Homer in a Gay club)
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:Lisa: Dad, I know this is crazy, but did you plant a message to me in the New York Times crossword puzzle?
:Homer: Well, I had a little help from this guy.
:[Will Shortz and Merl Reagle appear]
:Lisa: (gasps) New York Times crossword editor Will Shortz and master puzzle constructor Merl Reagle!
:Merl Reagle: I actually wrote that crossword.
:Will Shortz: And I edited it. Now get back to crosswording!
:Merl Reagle: (dejected) Yes, sir.
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:Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a bit of a crossword head myself. They help me relax after a day of having to deal with...Skinner!
:Principal Skinner: You called?
:Superintendent Chalmers: Made reference.
:Principal Skinner: My mistake.
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:[After Lisa loses the crossword puzzle tournament]
:Lisa: Oh, I blew it again.
:Homer: She blew it again! Woo-Hoo!
:[The bartender approaches Homer with a large tray of money]
:Bartender: (disdainfully) Here's your money, soaked in your daughter's tears.
:Homer: You know for a bartender-bookie, you're awfully judgmental.
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:(Homer goes to the school with a present trying to make Lisa happy)
:Homer: Lisa! Lisa? (Lisa walks by him) Lisa, sweetie! Please look at your daddy.
:Lisa: You stopped being my daddy as soon as you bet against me! All I have now is a mom, which is why I'm taking her maid name! For now on, I'm Lisa Bouvier! (Shows him a book with Lisa Simpson Bouvier Written. Homer gasps)
:Nelson: Hey Mr. S. Lisa B.
:Homer: (screaming) Nooooooooo!!!!!
:Janey: Would you like to buy some band candy?
:Homer: (Screaming) Yeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!
es:Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words/Frases