Egg I

The Egg I (pronounced Egg One), sometimes called "Eggy" or "The Orange Rolling Hunk of Shit" is a shitbox 1969 Dodge Charger pulled out of a scrapyard and fitted with a supercharged air-fryer convection based time-oven. It was built in Flint, Michigan at the request of Vice for use in the Dark Continent Campaign.
=== Design ===
The car has most of its internal mechanics stripped out to make more room for luggage, meaning it has no air conditioning, no lights, no suspension, no shocks, no airbags, and no working doors. The stereo system does still work but the CD player is jammed with a copy of Jimmy Buffett's Greatest Hits lodged inside. The front-end is equipped with a Minecraft diamond grille guard to protect the paint from chipping after running over kids. Vice wanted to have it painted "Miami Nights" neon purple so he wouldn't forget where he parked it, however, a mixup at the workshop resulted in it being painted "Traffic Cone" instead. 
Prepping the car for safe dimensional travel required numerous considerations. Powerful Magicks had to be employed so the car could survive the rigours of cross-time warp. This involved painting a large square of goat's blood on the roof to ward off the pharaoh's curse. A big blue X was then painted on top of the blood, an occult sigil used to invoke the divine protection of the great trombone player, Malcom X. Finally, thirteen white pentagrams are included for good luck.
=== Functionality ===
By doing really sick looking burnouts, the engine overclocks and physically tears open a portal in spacetime just as easily as you can tear your anus during an extremely rough session of anal sex, as discovered by top scientists in the field. Then it's as easy to drive between worlds as it is to drive down to the streetcorner to pickup a femboy prostitute, as one does on a typical Sunday evening. The brakes don't work so the vehicle comes equipped with an anchor that you toss out the window when you want to stop. For economy reasons, the turbocharged engine block has been outfitted with a conversion kit so that it can run on raw cum, a resource ridiculously plentiful within the Virtual Realms. The Egg 1 is able to get 30 parsecs per nut in terms of mileage. 
Category:Vehicles