Murphy's Laws of Combat

Murphy’s Combat Laws are very funny, a fresh take on the very old Murphy’s Laws states….
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 01
A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 02
A clean (and dry) set of BDU’s is a magnet for mud and rain. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 03
A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four seconds. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 04
A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 05
Air Strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 06
Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 07
As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 08
Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 09
Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 10
Field experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 11
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism in boot camp. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 12
Friendly fire isn’t. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 13
If at first you don’t succeed, call in an air-strike. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 14
If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 15
If the enemy is in range, so are you. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 16
If the platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 17
If you can’t remember, then the claymore is pointed at you. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 18
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 19
If you’re short of everything but the enemy, you’re in a combat zone. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 20
Incoming fire has the right of way. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 21
Interchangeable parts aren’t. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 22
Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won’t be able to get out. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 23
Murphy was a grunt. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 24
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 25
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 26
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 27
Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 28
Never tell the platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 29
No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 30
One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 31
Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 32
Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just regrouping for a counter-attack. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 33
Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 34
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 35
The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon’s operator. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 36
The easy way is always mined. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 37
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 38
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. when you’re ready for them.b. when you’re not ready for them. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 39
The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an insecure channel. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 40
The enemy never watches until you make a mistake. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 41
The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 42
The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 43
The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 44
The one item you need is always in short supply. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 45
The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 46
The seriousness of a wound received in a fire-fight is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 47
The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don’t know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON’T want. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 48
The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 49
The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 50
There is always a way. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 51
There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 52
There is no such thing as military ‘intelligence’. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 53
Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 54
To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 55
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 56
Walking point = sniper bait. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 57
When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 58
When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 59
When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies and ammo, the enemy decides to attack that night. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 60
Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 61
Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can’t hit the broad side of a barn. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 62
Your bivouac for the night is the spot where got tired of marching that day. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 63
Air defense motto: shoot ‘em down; sort ‘em out on the ground. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 64
You’ll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 65
B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 66
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 67
Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 68
Don’t look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 69
Five second fuses always burn three seconds. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 70
‘Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it’ll go. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 71
Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 72
How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another? 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 73
If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 74
If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 75
If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 76
If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 77
If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 78
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 79
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 80
It’s not the one with your name on it; it’s the one addressed “to whom it may concern” you’ve got to think about. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 81
Know why short RTOs have long whips on their radios? So someone can find them when they step in deep water. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 82
Military Intelligence is a contradiction. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 83
Mines are equal opportunity weapons. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 84
Napalm is an area support weapon. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 85
Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 86
No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 87
No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 88
No PLAN ever survives initial contact. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 89
Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 90
Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 91
Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 92
Recoil-less rifles – aren’t. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 93
Sniper’s motto: reach out and touch someone. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 94
So he said, “Cheer up: it could be worse!” So we cheered up. And it got worse. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 95
Suppressive fires – won’t. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 96
The ammo you need “NOW”!! is on the “Next” airdrop!! 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 97
The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 98
The enemy “Always” times his attack, to the second you drop your pants in the Latrine!! 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 99
The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 100
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 101
The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flex mount, while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know your position. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 102
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 103
The side with the simplest uniforms wins. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 104
The spare batteries for the PRC-whatever your troops have been carrying are either nearly dead or for the wrong radio. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 105
There is no such thing as a perfect plan. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 106
There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 107
Things that must work together, can’t be carried to the field that way. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 108
Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren’t. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 109
Tracers work both ways. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 110
Weather ain’t neutral. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 111
Well .. It could be worse: It could be raining .. and we could be out in it. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 112
When both sides are convinced they’re about to lose, they’re both right. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 113
When in doubt, empty your magazine. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 114
When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 115
Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you. 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 116
Why does your 500-watt VRC-26 (real old) not make it across 200 miles while a ham with 50 watts on the same MARS frequency can be heard from Stateside? 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 117
Why is it the CO sticks his head in your radio hooch to see if anything has come down from DIV when you are listening to the VOA broadcasting the baseball games? 
Murphy’s Laws of Combat 118
You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. 
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