The Sweet Escape

The Sweet Escape is the first episode of Six on the Beach. 
==Synopsis==
In legal trouble for overworking SpongeBob and Squidward, and wanting to bond with his daughter Pearl, Eugene Krabs takes the three (accompanied by Patrick and Sandy) on a vacation to remember, albeit a cheap one.
== Transcript ==
(Exterior shot of The Krusty Krab. Cut to the inside and pan across the dining area which is only at around a quarter of its capacity. Squidward is at his counter reading PlaySquid, a magazine with pictures of shirtless octopuses. He smirks at one of the men just as SpongeBob's head shoots out of the counter window, startling him.)
SpongeBob: (playfully) Whatcha doing?
(Squidward screams and scrambles to hide the magazine. He starts sweating.)
Squidward: I, uh… nothing? 
(Squidward shrugs in a last second attempt to cover up his crimes. The two stare at each other for a couple seconds.)
SpongeBob: Okay then. You know you would be a lot more productive if you didn't read your steamy magazines during your shift.
Squidward: Well it-
(Squidward's face turns red.)
Squidward: Hey! How did you know about-
SpongeBob: What? Everyone in the restaurant can see you! Also, another friendly tip, Patrick says you can find stuff like that for free on the internet, it's a waste of money. (SpongeBob pulls out a smartphone) Sandy gave me this for my birthday back in May. I can't get used to this fancy new technology, Patrick's still teaching me new tricks for it-
Squidward: Whatever.
(Squidward opens the magazine back up and puts his head on his pillow.)
Squidward: It's early Summer and it's not even that busy for some strange unapparent reason, so if you don't mind not being so passive-aggressive I will do what I want, thank you very much.
SpongeBob: Okay. I'm always here… at my station… all day.
(SpongeBob's face slides down from the window looking displeased with himself and Squidward lets out a sigh of relief, before SpongeBob's face immediately returns anyway sporting a large grin. SpongeBob copies Squidward's groan.)
Squidward: (avoiding eye contact) Please don't copy me.
SpongeBob: Sorry. I'm bored too, you know!
Squidward: Well what can we do? We're just less than minimum wage employees stuck living down dead-end alleyway!
SpongeBob: (gasp) Squidward! I'm surprised at you. We are not less-than-minimum wage employees!
(Cut to Mr. Krabs' office. Two fish in black business suits sit at the opposite end of his desk.)
Fish 1: Let's be real. They're just less than minimum wage employees stuck living down dead-end alleyway.
Mr. Krabs: (gasp) How dare you come into me office and insult me like that! I'll have you know me employees are paid very generously!
Fish 1: Quit lying, Krabs. I'm surprised they make enough to pay the bills.
Mr. Krabs: To be fair one of them does live in a pineapple.
Fish 2: He has a point you know, I used to live in a watermelon after I finished college.
Fish 1: How was it?
Fish 2: It was alright I guess, except for when I wanted to bring chicks home.
Mr. Krabs: Ahem. You were saying?
Fish 2: Oh sorry.
Fish 1: Continuing, we have also taken the liberty of digging even deeper and we have found evidence of you overworking the poor lads.
Mr. Krabs: Oh come on! You really sympathising for fast food workers now? They knew what they signed up for!
Fish 1: I don't think you're helping the case here.
Fish 2: You need to face the facts. Two employees and until not long ago you were open 24 hours a day for a couple months?! That's messed up!
Mr. Krabs: It's a cartoon! Logic doesn't matter!
Fish 1: You're still overworking them, which is very illegal.
Mr. Krabs: But it's funny!
Fish 2: And illegal.
Mr. Krabs: But funny! You're with me, right?
(The two fish stare at Mr. Krabs with a deadpan expression.)
Mr. Krabs: (sigh) Alright, you got me. I'm a pathetic excuse of a business owner. There's no way the viewers are gonna be on my side. What do you want from me?
Fish 2: Well normally this is the part where we lock you up. But we like to see people redeem themselves, and also our show's on. Mostly because our show's on. We're gonna you two options. Option A is a pretty hefty fine-
Mr. Krabs: I choose option B!
Fish 1: Good choice.
(The business fish hand Mr. Krabs a holiday brochure. Mr. Krabs looks confused.)
Mr. Krabs: Wha- this is just a holiday brochure!
Fish 2: They need the time off, Krabs. And you're gonna take them. Good day.
(The two fish get up and leave. Mr. Krabs chases after them.)
Mr. Krabs: No! Wait!
(Bubble transition to an exterior shot of Mr. Krabs' anchor house. He enters and walks down the hallway, passing various pictures of him and Pearl. Throughout them the two get progressively older and grow further apart. Eventually Mr. Krabs stops appearing in the portraits altogether. He enters the kitchen and slides a frozen lasagne into the microwave. Pan over to Pearl sitting at the opposite end of the table.)
Mr. Krabs: I'm back sweetie. 
Pearl: …
Mr. Krabs: Heh, you er, had a good day?
Pearl: …
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, me too. Very thrilling, exciting and all that. What's that word you kids use? Oh yeah, "coral".
Pearl: …
(Mr. Krabs sits down at the table, sulking.)
Mr. Krabs: (sigh) I wish you would talk to me more, Pearl. Me and you used to be so close, and now look at us! You're sixteen now and one day you won't need me at all. (pause) I wish your mother was still here…
(After a few seconds the microwave beeps. Pearl takes her wireless earphones out of her ears. An overrated South Korean boyband can faintly be heard playing out of the speakers.)
Pearl: Oh, sorry Dad. Were you trying to say something?
(Mr. Krabs tips the contents of his food onto his plate.)
Mr. Krabs: (sigh) No, no, not really. You just… keeping being you I guess.
(Mr. Krabs takes his plate upstairs. Pearl shrugs. Cut to Mr. Krabs eating his microwave meal on his hammock bed.)
Mr. Krabs: You know, sometimes I feel like maybe I could use a break from all of this.
(Cut to SpongeBob eating a pie in his home, talking to Gary.)
SpongeBob: -I mean, I have the best job in the world but sometimes it just feels like the same old day over and over again! (sigh) And I just feel like I'm maybe pushing Squidward's buttons a little too much sometimes.
(Cut to Squidward venting to himself in the shower.)
Squidward: -and SpongeBob really keeps pushing my buttons! It's… infuriating! 
(We see a split screen of the three.)
All: (sigh) I just feel like I… need a break from all of this.
(A lightbulb appears over Mr. Krabs' head. SpongeBob and Squidward disappear.)
Mr. Krabs: Wait! That's it! This is just what I need to appease those business fish! And, er, reconnect with me daughter of course.
(Cut to Mr. Krabs using an outdated laptop.)
Mr. Krabs: Now, where do we begin?
(Mr. Krabs looks around confused. He turns to the viewer.)
Mr. Krabs: No, seriously, I have no idea how to use this thing.
(He opens up Foogle, a sleek and modern search engine.)
Mr. Krabs: Ah, here we go.
(He types "cheap holidays now" into the search bar.)
Mr. Krabs: Hmm…
(He clicks onto a video.)
Daddy Dandy: Hi, I'm Daddy Dandy, founder and manager here of Cool Sands Holiday Resort, your next holiday destination! Do you feel like you need a break from the stress of everyday life?
Mr. Krabs: Yes!
Daddy Dandy: Do you need to appease two annoying business fish or escape tax fraud?
Mr. Krabs: Yes and yes!
Daddy Dandy: Well then Cool Sands is the place for you! Enjoy relaxing walks on our long beaches, live entertainment and drinks in our lounge, and hand over your (he starts dribbling) lovely children to our kids' club! They will meet my son Carl the Crackodile: the coolest croc around!
Mr. Krabs: Eh, I prefer Krabby the Clown.
Daddy Dandy: And the best part of all of this is that Cool Sands pride ourselves on offering you the highest quality holidays at dirt cheap prices!
(Dollar signs appear in Mr. Krabs' eyes.)
Daddy Dandy: So come on down to Cool Sands Holiday Resort today!
(Bubble transition to Squidward walking towards The Krusty Krab entrance with his hat on. SpongeBob is banging on the door.)
Squidward: SpongeBob?! What in the name of Neptune do you think you're doing!
(SpongeBob turns around to reveal the tears falling from his face.)
SpongeBob: The- (hiccup) The- (hiccup) The- (hiccup)
(Squidward places his tentacle on SpongeBob's shoulder, causing him to blush.)
Squidward: Alright, alright, calm down. Just take a deep breath and tell me what the problem is.
(SpongeBob follows his instruction.)
Squidward: Okay, good. Now what's wrong?
(SpongeBob falls to the floor and breaks down into tears again.)
SpongeBob: Oh Squidward!
Squidward: Oh brother. 
SpongeBob: It's horrible! The doors are locked! And Mr. Krabs isn't here! How are we supposed to get in?!
Squidward: SpongeBob, I'm sure it's fine. He probably had a rough night, you know what his mattress is like. Besides, the less time spent working the bette-
(A large shadow appears behind the two. A car is heard honking. The two turn around, their chins dropping to the floor. The beginning instrumental of "Born To Be Wild" plays as Mr. Krabs pulls up in a campervan. We see various shots of the vehicle as it stops. Mr. Krabs jumps out wearing a stereotypical tourist outfit.)
SpongeBob: (gasp) Mr. Krabs!
(SpongeBob jumps into Mr. Krabs arms and hugs him. Mr. Krabs sighs and dumps him onto the floor.)
SpongeBob: Wh- what's this?
Mr. Krabs: It's a campervan, you silly!
SpongeBob: (laughs) Knock that off, it's time for work!
Mr. Krabs: We're not going to work today, boyo!
SpongeBob: What?! You give me one good reason!
Mr. Krabs: ...we're going on vacation!
(SpongeBob excitedly jumps up and down.)
SpongeBob: V- v- v- v- vacation?!
(SpongeBob faints. Mr. Krabs looks at Squidward.)
Mr. Krabs: Is he, er, okay?
(Squidward faints too.)
Mr. Krabs: Eh, whatever.
(Cut to the two boarding the vehicle.)
Squidward: Wow! I can't believe it! You're really taking us on vacation?! I know I drank a bit last night to ease my inner demons but-
Mr. Krabs: You're completely sober, Mr. Squidward. I'm just a little out of character, that's all.
SpongeBob: I've never been on vacation before! This is going to be so much fun!
(Pan over to Pearl sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone.)
Pearl: Yawn.
SpongeBob: B- but we haven't packed or anything.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I haven't forgotten about that! We have to stop off for gas anyway.
(Squidward shrugs. Cut to the exterior of the vehicle as it drives off, revealing the two business fish from earlier standing behind it.)
Fish 1: Huh. I didn't actually think that would work.
???: Well of course it worked, you nitwits!
(The camera pans down revealing Plankton to be standing alongside them. He laughs and signals towards the restaurant doors.)
Plankton: Shall we?
(Cut to the four in the campervan, accompanied by Patrick and Sandy. Mr. Krabs and Pearl are upfront driving, while the others are at the back on the couch. Squidward and Sandy are sitting together, and SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting together. Patrick is playing on his phone.)
Patrick: Gee, Mr. Krabs! I can't believe you invited me on vacation with you!
Mr. Krabs: You burst the tires, messed up the engine and wouldn't let us drive off until either you came with us or SpongeBob stayed behind.
Patrick: Well best friends gotta stay together, right?
SpongeBob: You're so right, Patrick.
Sandy: Are you sure it's alright I come?
Mr. Krabs: Of course! You helped us fix everything, after all.
Sandy: But-
Mr. Krabs: I'm in a generous mood, don't ruin me moment.
Squidward: Are you sure you're feeling okay, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Better than ever, Mr. Squidward! You see I think a good vacation is just what the doctor ordered!
Sandy: But what about The Krusty Krab? Summer is when it's the most busy at downtown Bikini Bottom!
Mr. Krabs: I'm sure it'll be fine if we took a break for a while, I've made a decent amount of money to live on over the years anyway. (whispering) It's better than paying that fine anyway. (sigh)
Squidward: The man's gone nuts.
Sandy: I'll say. He even dropped Gary and Mr. Doodles off at a pet hotel!
Squidward: Who?
Sandy: SpongeBob and Eugene's pets?
Squidward: Oh yeah.
SpongeBob: Well I don't care if he's crazy or not! I'm just so excited to take my first vacation!
Patrick: Me too!
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! You could teach me to use that fancy new phone more on the way. We could make a list of all the fun things we're gonna do!
Patrick: ...uh, sure. I've just got to, um… (Patrick shields the phone from SpongeBob's view.) delete a couple things first. Heh.
Squidward: I'd rather be anywhere but here right now.
Mr. Krabs: That's the spirit! I, for one, can't wait to spend some father-daughter time with me darling daughter Pearl.
Pearl: Meh.
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs-
Mr. Krabs: Please, while we're on vacation just call me Eugene.
SpongeBob: Okay. (smirks) Eugene, are we nearly there yet?
Mr. Krabs: Not much longer!
(Cut to a shot of the campervan driving down a road. The background suddenly changes to night. Cut back to the inside where everyone except Mr. Krabs is almost half asleep.)
Squidward: (yawn) We've been driving around all day? Are you sure we're going the right way!
Mr. Krabs: I know where I'm going.
Sandy: Do you want me to pull up Foogle Maps?
Mr. Krabs: I said I know where I'm going!
Sandy: It's no problem.
(Sandy takes her phone out and opens up the application.)
Sandy: Here we are. It just says to… turn around at the next intersection.
(Everyone blankly stares at Mr. Krabs for a few seconds.)
Mr. Krabs: SON OF A-
SpongeBob: Wait, no! I see something!
(SpongeBob points at a road sign.)
SpongeBob: "Cool Sands Holiday Resort at the next exit!" We are going the right way!
Mr. Krabs: Good shout, boyo!
(Cut to the van driving through the gates of the resort. They reach a security barrier. Mr. Krabs looks over at the guard to find he is asleep. He slowly winds the window down.)
Mr. Krabs: Hey, buddy! 
(The guard wakes up, startled.)
Guard: Huh? Mommy?
(He looks over to Mr. Krabs.)
Guard: Oh, sorry. What are you doing showing up so late?
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?
Guard: It's like ten o' clock at night, park services close soon. 
Mr. Krabs: Can you just let us in please?
Guard: Sure, I mean that's my job. I assume this is your own RV?
Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, not legally-
Guard: Good enough for me. 
(The security guard raises the barrier and they drive on through. Cut to Plankton and the business fish in Mr. Krabs' office. The fish are trying to figure out the combination to the safe.)
Fish 1: What kind of security system involves gasoline?
Plankton: Krabs' apparently. It's just a minor setback to my otherwise genius and foolproof plan. Impersonating a law firm, it works every time!
(The safe opens.)
Plankton: YES! Finally after all these years it's mine! …except that one time when Mr. Krabs was frozen, and that other one time when I sent SpongeBob to Atlantic City, and that other- you know, forget it.
(Plankton jumps into the vault.)
Plankton: (laughs) I can't believe it! Once again it's back in my- huh?
(Pan out to reveal the vault is completely empty.)
Plankton: WHAT?
Fish 2: ...uh, I don't see anything.
Plankton: But this can't be! The formula can't be somewhere else! The crustacean must have taken it with him!
Fish 2: Yeah, so about our paycheck-
(Police sirens are heard outside.)
Plankton: Oh carp.
Fish 1: (sigh) I told you this would happen!
Fish 2: I'm gonna hand us in.
Fish 1: No! Don't do that!
Fish 2: Then what?
Plankton: I, uh…
(Plankton looks around the room and notices the open window. He jumps out it.)
Plankton: So long, suckers!
Fish 1: Hey!
(Fish 1 tries to squeeze out the window after him. Cut to several officers entering the restaurant.)
Officer: BBPD, we know you're in here!
(The wind causes the door to the office to swing open. The officers enter the room, which is now empty. Cut to Mr. Krabs parking the RV.)
Mr. Krabs: I guess this is our spot.
SpongeBob: Woot! We're here!
Patrick: And it only took the entire day and one very clogged up toilet courtesy of yours truly.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, we should probably play cards on who should deal with that mess.
Sandy: Wait a minute, I just realised. Are there even enough beds in here for the six of us?
Mr. Krabs: I mean at first I only planned for four, but the more the merrier, eh? Of course Pearl and I will sleep together on the couch bed-
Pearl: Ew, no. I'm not sleeping with my Dad!
Mr. Krabs: Alright, Mr. Squidward will be lodging with me then!
Squidward: What?!
SpongeBob: You can snuggle in with me if you want, Squidward.
Patrick: I don't mind sharing the double bed with Krabs. A bed's a bed in my book.
Squidward: Then it's settled!
Mr. Krabs: (rolls eyes) Fine. It's late so we'll have to explore the park tomorrow. But all in all it's been a good start, right? Even though we were on the road all day.
Squidward: I mean it's a cheap family holiday resort, I don't expect it to get much better.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I have a good feeling you could make a pretty good show about all the stuff we'll get into. Just us six on the beach.
(Mr. Krabs pours several glasses of fancy soda and hands them out to Sandy and Squidward. SpongeBob and Patrick take out two cartons of orange juice, and Pearl reluctantly takes a third.)
Mr. Krabs: Cheers.
All: Cheers.
(Cut to the exterior of the vehicle as they laugh. Face to black.)
==
Category:2021
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:2021 Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:PI
Category:Coral Blue Productions
Category:Thatjess
Category:Episodes Written By PolarTem
Category:Six on the Beach
Category:2020s
Category:Blue Lobster Productions