The Tour/transcript

Previous Episode: The Friend of Villains
Next Episode: Krusty Cheapskates
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: March 11, 2017
Episode Copyrighted: 2017
This episode is rated TV-Y7-FV.
The episode begins in Yellow's bedroom. Yellow is seated in front of the unseen camera.
Yellow Rectangle: Hi, my name is Yellow Rectangle, and welcome to the tour.
Red Rectangle: *offscreen* Oh, for crying out loud! How hard can this be?!
Red is now entered Yellow's room.
Red Rectangle: Oh, hi!
Yellow Rectangle: Okay, one, two, three. Hi, my name is Yellow Rectangle, and welcome to the tour. This is a story about the thing that, when the people do the...and then, then they do that, and it's about the film where we show who it is.
Red Rectangle: Okay, can we start now?
Yellow Rectangle: YES! YES! FINALLY! NAILED IT!
Red Rectangle: Wait, is the light supposed to be on, when it's recording or..?
Yellow Rectangle: Let's roll the tape.
Screen cuts to an old movie countdown, then it cuts to the Bikini Bottom.
French Narrator: Welcome to the tour. The most beautiful place in the sea.....If you're tall enough to see it. This may be why Master Lox is so grumpy, but the most likely reason is because his schemes NEVER WORK! Here is a wonderful example of a genius plan gone wrong... Take 2.
Lord Master Lox: Hey! Mr. Krabs! Come here for a second!
Mr. Krabs: *closes Krusty Krab for the day* What do you want, you skullbrain?
Lord Master Lox: I'd like to give you this $100 bill I have in my hand right now...
Mr. Krabs: *runs to snatch it*
Lord Master Lox: If you beat me at a card game.
Mr. Krabs: Really? That's all? No shortcuts? No gimmicks?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *sees this and freaks out* Mr. Krabs! Remember what happened last time?!
Mr. Krabs: Yes, me lad, but this is for $100! Last time I checked, you were hardly worth a nickel.
Lord Master Lox: You only need to sign this contract to play.
Mr. Krabs: *signs the contract*
Time card reading "2 Hours Later"
French Narrator: 2 hours later...
Screen cuts to Master Lox's Lair.
Mr. Krabs: Get ready to lose, James! I'll move 4!
Lord Master Lox: Oh no!!! What could possibly beat you! Oh! I know! FINISH!!! *evil laughs* I WIN, MR. KRABS!!!!!!
Mr. Krabs: *starts to walk out, crying*
But Master Lox somehow drags him back in.
Lord Master Lox: Oh no you don't!!! You're not leaving the premises until you give Plankton the Krabby Patty Secret Formula!
Mr. Krabs: Why should I give it to him?
Lord Master Lox: Well, you signed the contract.
Mr. Krabs: That only said I get $100 if I win! Not held hostage if I lose!
Lord Master Lox: That's where you're wrong, Mr. Krabs. Look!
Mr. Krabs looked into a bunch of magnifying glasses to reveal very small fine print. It says If Eugene loses, he will be held hostage by Sheldon until the former gives the latter the Krabby Patty Secret Formula. Mr. Krabs is enraged.
Lord Master Lox: And I have ways of getting the information from my inator. *claps my hands*
His inator appears.
Lord Master Lox: Behold, The-Brain-Extractor-Inator! How do you like that, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Extractor?
Lord Master Lox: You're too late, Mr. Krabs! It's time to blast you with my inator *laughs evilly*
Mr. Krabs: No! Please don't put me in that contraption!
Lord Master Lox: Don't worry. It won't hurt a bit.
Mr. Krabs: OW! *dolphin noises*
Lord Master Lox: Quit with the potty mouth, Eugene Krabs. There's no point.
Mr. Krabs: Master Lox, you take that back. *rips the contact*
Lord Master Lox: *growls*
Mr. Krabs and Lord Master Lox: *fights each other with fight cloud*
Screen cuts to Leni walking to Squidward's house.
French Narrator: Next is Leni Loud and Squidward's house. She's standing in front of his house.
Leni Loud: Hello. Hello. Hello.
French Narrator: Now, Leni Loud is Lincoln's best sister. She wears a dress, her sunglasses and her sandals.
Leni Loud: Do I have my IQ?
French Narrator: Yes, and this is your IQ.
Leni Loud: Yes, my IQ. *opens Squidward's door* Hello, Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: *walks to Leni taking the hamper, angrily* Leni, how many times do I have to tell you. Stop leaving my hamper in my house.
Leni Loud: Calm down Squidward, that's not my hamper.
Squidward Tentacles: *angrily* It is your hamper, Leni! Now, do your laundry!
Leni Loud: Oh yeah, that is my hamper. I accidentally left here when I was doing laundry yesterday. I'm sorry, Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: *angrily* I don't need your help, Leni! Leaving me your dirty laundry in my house! That's disgusting!
Leni Loud: It's totes filthy, Squidward! Everytime you're wearing your clothes around the house everytime you visit!
Squidward Tentacles: *gets angry* THAT'S IT, LENI! I'M HEADING TO MY HOUSE! I HATE YOU AND I DON'T NEED YOU EVER! *gives the hamper to Leni and walks away* AND STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE! *goes to my house and angrily slams the door*
French Narrator: And Squidward is alone in his house.
Leni Loud: Well, I got my hamper. It's time to do some laundry. *walks*
Screen cuts to a soccer commercial.
Announcer: Are you having fun playing soccer?
Human Kid Girl Soccer Player: Yeah.
Announcer: Now, try tackling the ball.
Human Kid Girl Soccer Player: *kicks the ball*
Announcer: You can play on your console and play on your computer.
Screen cuts saying "Penalty Kick".
Announcer: Penalty Kick.
Screen cuts saying "Offense".
Announcer: Offense.
Screen cuts to "Defense".
Announcer: Defense.
Screen cuts to the goalkeeper.
Announcer: Goalkeeper.
Human Kid Boy Soccer Player: *kicks the ball to score a goal
Announcer: And get ready to score.
Human Kid Boy and Girl Soccer Players: Score!
Announcer: A sports production. All rights reserved.
Screen cuts to the Loud House in the living room where Luan is eating a slice of pie on the couch while Lola is on the floor, reading a book.
Luan Loud: This pie is so good.
Lola Loud: Yeah, at least it doesn't explode like your other pies.
Luan Loud: *feels mad* YOU WANT ME TO, LOLA?
Lola Loud: *groans in annoyance*
Gary the Snail: *slithers to the living room*
He rubs his body against Lola, who laughs.
Lola Loud: Who's a good cat?
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Lola Loud: Yes, you are. *hugs Gary*
Gary the Snail: *puts snail smile on Lola's face*
Lola Loud: *drops Gary in disgust* Ew!! Gary, bad snail!
Gary the Snail: *then slithers outside*
Luan Loud: *laughs at Lola's expense* Oh my gosh! That was awesome! *laughs* That was a fantastic idea, and it was perfect! Man, I am on fire with these puns!
Lola Loud: *mad, walks to Luan and stomps on her foot*
Luan Loud: *holds my foot* OW!!
Lola Loud: You know I hate puns!
Luan Loud: *then grows a devious smile*
As she looks at her plate.
Luan Loud: Hey, Lola. Does this pie taste funny to you?
Lola Loud: *confused* No, why?
Luan Loud: *shoves my pie into Lola's face, making her mad and breaks down laughing*
Lola Loud: My face! My beautiful face! *growls in anger and runs to Luan and bites her neck*
Luan Loud: Ow, you bit my neck!
Lola Loud: *storms off in anger*
As she heads to the bathroom. Screen cuts to Master Lox.
Lord Master Lox: I hate Mr. Krabs! I hate him!
Plankton: Master Lox, what happened?
Lord Master Lox: *growls* Mr. Krabs! He ruined the contract! Scan his brain, Plankton. Scan his brain, ASAP.
Plankton: Done.
Plankton successfully extracted Mr. Krabs' brain and put it in the brain scanner.
Plankton: With the brain scanner, I'll be able to figure out the safe combination and steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula!
Lord Master Lox: Wish me luck, Plankton!
Brain Scanner CPU: To access the with the Krabby Patty Secret Formula inside, Mr. Krabs' voice must say the Bikini Bottom National Anthem backwards.
Plankton: Perfect!
Slide transition cuts to the Chum Bucket.
Plankton: *climbs into the Krabs-bot and goes to the Krusty Krab to open the safe. Ok. Here goes nothing. Ahem. You love we, Bottom Bikini. Blue as, true as, deep as, faithful as, You to hearts our pledge we, Bottom Bikini oh.
Safe CPU: Access denied.
Plankton: Oh well. That's what a missile is for.
System: Target locked. Firing in 5...4...3...2...1...Ignition.....We have Liftoff.
Plankton's robot becomes a rocket. As he is flying above the surface, Sandy Cheeks is taking off for Texas. Due to her launch angle, her flying afterburner hit Plankton's rocket, sending him down towards the Chum Bucket.
Plankton: Oh well. It needed repairs anyway.
The Rockets smash through the roof of the Chum Bucket, destroying it.
Plankton: KAREN!!!!
Karen Plankton: What, Sheldon? Hahaha haha haha SHELDON!!!!! HAHAHA HAHAHA!!!!!
Plankton: I might as well put Krabs' brain back. *flips a switch and Mr. Krabs' brain went flying up in the air*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey Mr. K! I was looking for y-
Mr. Krabs' brain fell into SpongeBob's pores, knocking his brain into Mr. Krabs' head.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm free!!! Wait a minute...I'M YELLOW!!!! WHAT COULD BE ANY WORSE!!!!
Yellow Rectangle: Yep, that's me! *walks*
Mr. Krabs: You know I can hear you?
Patrick walks by. "SpongeBob" trips him, sending him flying into "Mr. Krabs". Their brains were re switched and back to normal. Meanwhile, Patrick flew into Plankton, knocking his brain into the fire of a rocket's booster.
Mr. Krabs: Who hoo! I'm back!
SpongeBob SquarePants: And like always, everything is back to the way it was before!
The Chum Bucket explodes behind them, showing the irony in SpongeBob's statement.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well... some things.
French Narrator: It took time to rebuild, but Karen copied Plankton's brain and gave him it back, followed by a massive cleanup at the Chum Bucket as usual.
Screen cuts to Roblox HQ.
Narrator: Roblox.
Roblox: Hi, I'm Roblox and this is my friend, Builderman.
Builderman: Hi. *raises my hand*
Roblox: Yes, Builderman?
Builderman: You have to help us defeat the hacker once again!
Roblox: I can't. I promised I would never raise my fists again.
Roblox's walking animation.
Builderman: But Roblox! 1x1x1x1 has captured our friends!
Roblox: Alright then. But first I need to train.
Cut to Gumball hitting and fighting with a sword. Cut back to the previous scene.
Roblox: Now I'm ready!
Builderman: *throws an orange*
Roblox: *immediately puts my hand out to block the attack*
Builderman: Yes, you are.
Cut to a cardboard model of the earth, a sky, and a Roblox puppet traveling on the earth.
Narrator: Roblox, traveled far and wide, but it was full of dangers. On the way he met a giant, so he had to defeat it.
Roblox: *attacks a giant monster*
Narrator: And then he met a dragon, so he had to defeat it.
Roblox: *attacks a dragon*
Narrator: And then he met a beautiful woman, who he fell in love with, but he wasn't emotionally ready, so he had to defeat it.
Noob: I'm a noob.
Narrator: And then he arrived at the evil temple of Dr. Downer.
Cut back to Roblox and Builderman.
Roblox: Give me back my friends!
Builderman (Robot helmet): *removes helmet*
Roblox: *gasps and points* Bullderman! It was you all along?!
Builderman: Yes! I tricked you into coming here to defeat you!
Roblox: But why didn't you attack me before my training?!
Builderman: Uhhh... let's fight!
Roblox and Builderman: *punches fake 1x1x1x1*
Builderman: *pushes the dynamite plunger*
Roblox HQ explodes, destroying the building.
Roblox: My HQ!
Builderman: No, no, no, no, no! What have I done?! *starts crying* Please! You know that when you cry, I cry.
Roblox: That's it, everyone! Tuned in next time in Roblox! That's all folks!
Screen cuts to Lincoln walking to his house with 11 bags of food in his hands.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, I got our lunch. I waited two hours in line but it was totally worth it.
At home, Lola, in her bathrobe, is cleaning her face with a towel. She walks to her room to put on a fresh dress
Lola Loud: *sighs* So much better.
Luan Loud: What? Of that pie being in your face? *giggles*
Lola Loud: I'm gonna get you back, Luan.
Lisa Loud: *offscreen* Can you two be quiet?! I'm trying to work on this new potion!
Lincoln Loud: *from downstairs* Guys, I'm home! And I brought lunch for all of us!
Lola Loud: We can argue later, Linky's back.
All of the sisters head downstairs to see Lincoln, they greeted him with hugs, high fives, etc.
Lincoln Loud: Hey, guys!
Loud Sisters: Hey, Lincoln! / Welcome back, buddy! / S'up, bro? / Hey, champ.
Lincoln Loud: I got us all lunch.
Lana Loud: Aw, you don't have to do that.
Lincoln Loud:  Said the girl who eaten nearly everything in the kitchen.
Lana Loud: Touche.
Lincoln each gives his sisters a bag from a restaurant. The sisters dig in to their food.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Mmm, this stuff is great! What is it?
Lincoln Loud: These are fried chicken. This cool, new restaurant just opened up, and I went there to get lunch for us. Opening day was free for all customers.
Luna Loud: You mean that rocking new fish restaurant called, "Fishy Joe's"?
Lincoln Loud: The same one! Oh yeah, they're also french fries too. *eats my food* This is tartar sauce for dipping as well.
Patrick Star: *breaks the fourth wall* You said it, Linc. *disappears*
The siblings eat their food, they all let out small burps. They share a laugh.
Lori Loud: That was literally delicious.
Leni Loud: That was totes sweet of you to get us lunch.
Lincoln Loud: Hey, you girls are happy, then I'm happy too.
Lisa Loud: *narrows my eyes and looks around*
She sneakily heads to the kitchen. She pulls out her potion and puts in eleven different glasses. She carries the glasses with a tray to the living room.
Lisa Loud: Siblings, since Lincoln fed us with delicious fried chicken, how about a glass of refreshing water?
Luan Loud: Now you're talking! *laughs*
Leni Loud: Did I just talk much?
Lynn Loud Jr.: Yeah, I think you did.
Lucy Loud: Lisa, what did you do?
Lisa Loud: *nervously* I, um, made you guys drink my new potion I'm working on. Hehehe...
Lincoln Loud: *perplexed* You did what?!
Lynn Loud Jr.: *exasperatingly rages* WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA–
Screen cuts to the card saying "THE END", then it cuts to Yellow.
Yellow Rectangle: Well, that's my story. What do you think, Red?
Red Rectangle: World tour is great, Yellow.
Yellow Rectangle: I think we watched the tour.
Yellow and Red Rectangle: *throw hands in the air* Yaaay! Mega happy ending!
Yellow Rectangle: *walks over to the camera and grabs it* Alright, how do you eject the tape?
Red Rectangle: It's the red button!
Yellow Rectangle: You sure?
The menu pops up with an arrow slowly going down the list of icons, first being eject, last being delete.
Yellow Rectangle: I thought the red button was to record.
Red Rectangle: Nah, it's definitely eject.
The arrow is on delete.
Yellow Rectangle: Alright! Aw, man, I can't wait to see this! *presses the delete button, causing the whole screen to glitch up to black saying "THE END"*
Episode ends.
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