Hop (2022)

Hop (2022) is the seventeenth episode of The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Show, the seventh episode of the second season, serving as a 2022 made-for-television comedy film. 
The film was written and directed by thatjess (in her third directorial credit after The SpongeBob n' Stuff Movie and SpongeBob's Fanon Wiki: The Movie), with acting as producer. Hop (2022) premiered on April 17, 2022 (or Easter Sunday) on PI Network.
The film's plot is heavily based on, as well as a parody of, the 2011 Illumination film of the same name.
It is the first film in the series, followed by the theatrical The SpongeBob and Daddy Pig Movie.
== Synopsis ==
Not wanting to succeed her father as the Easter Bunny, Rebecca Rabbit runs away to Bikini Bottom and hides out with SpongeBob and Daddy Pig to pursue a career in drumming.
== Transcript ==
[Exterior shot of Daddy Pig’s office at night. Daddy Pig and Mr. Rabbit enter the elevator.]
Peppa Pig Narrator: This is Daddy Pig’s Office. Daddy Pig and Mr. Rabbit are just leaving work for the holidays.
Daddy Pig: Um, down please.
Mr. Rabbit: Of course.
[Mr. Rabbit presses the ground floor button.]
Elevator Voice: Going down…
[The doors close and the elevator starts going down.]
Mr. Rabbit: So, any plans for the Easter weekend, Mr. Pig?
Daddy Pig: Oh! Why yes actually, thank you. I’ve finally saved up enough money to buy a car of my own!
Mr. Rabbit: Oh wow!
Daddy Pig: Yeah, Mummy Pig still has my old one, I could do with an upgrade anyway. 
Peppa Pig Narrator: Daddy Pig is still living with SpongeBob because Mummy Pig killed him our of her house.
[The elevator reaches the ground floor and the two walk out into the lobby.] 
Daddy Pig: And you, Mr. Rabbit?
Mr. Rabbit: What?
Daddy Pig: Do you have any plans for the Easter weekend?
Mr. Rabbit: Oh, um… not really. I’m just… seeing family, you know. That sort of thing.
Daddy Pig: Oh… right.
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: So I guess I’ll see you on Monday, then?
Mr. Rabbit: See you on Monday!
[The two part ways. Daddy Pig walks off, while Mr. Rabbit drives off in his car. Exterior shot of Mr. Rabbit’s house: a large hill with lots of burrows inside. Mr. Rabbit hops out of his car and walks down one of the burrows.]
Mr. Rabbit: Ugh that Daddy Pig can be a right old twat sometimes…
[Mr. Rabbit enters the living room. Mummy Rabbit is on the couch breastfeeding babies Rosie and Robbie, while Richard Rabbit is playing Roblox on his iPad.]
Mummy Rabbit: Gosh, you’re home early Mr. Rabbit!
Mr. Rabbit: Well, we only have three days until Easter Sunday, and we still have lots of work to do!
Mummy Rabbit: By us, you mean those Chinese people in the sweatshop, right?
[Mr. Rabbit and Mummy Rabbit laugh.]
Mr. Rabbit: God I love slavery.
Richard: Mummy? Can you buy me some Robux pwease? It’s only £50!
Mummy Rabbit: shut the fuck up richard
[Loud drumming can be heard from down the hallway.]
Mummy Rabbit: What the hell is that dreadful noise?
Mr. Rabbit: Ugh… I’ll go see to this.
[Cut to Rebecca Rabbit’s bedroom. Rebecca Rabbit is loudly playing the drums.]
Rebecca: WE GOT A, NUMBER ONE VICTORY ROYALE! YEAH FORTNITE WE’RE ‘BOUT TO GET DOWN (GET DOWN)! TEN KILLS ON THE BOARD RIGHT NOW, JUST WIPED OUT TOMATO TOWN!
[Mr. Rabbit enters.]
Mr. Rabbit: Rebecca?
Rebecca: MY FRIEND JUST GOT DOWNED! I REVIVED HIM, NOW WE’RE HEADING SOUTHBOUND!
Mr. Rabbit: Rebecca?
Rebecca: NOW WE’RE IN THE PLEASANT PARK STREETS, LOOK AT THE MAP GO TO THE MARKED SHEETS! TAKE ME TO YOUR XBOX TO PLAY FORTNITE TOD-
[Mr. Rabbit snatches one of the drumsticks from Rebecca and snaps it in half.]
Mr. Rabbit: REBECCAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Pause…]
Rebecca: Dad, what the fuck?
Mr. Rabbit: You weren’t listening to me, Rebecca! God you are so entitled these days!
Rebecca: Dad, I was just drumming!
Mr. Rabbit: Of course you were sweetie, my bad. It’s not like, um, I don’t know, it’s not like you’re ABOUT TO BE CROWNED THE EASTER BUNNY TOMORROW! YOU SHOULD BE REHEARSING YOUR BIG SPEECH! Tomorrow is Good Friday and all our family is gonna be there! Miss Rabbit, Peter Rabbit, Jessica Rabbit, Bugs Bunny, Lola Bunny, the Energizer Bunny-
Rebecca: Ugh, Dad… how many times do we have to go through this?! I don’t want to be the Easter Bunny! I want to be a drummer… in a band! I want to see the world, you know?
Mr. Rabbit: B-b-but- the Easter Bunny sees the entire world in one night! …unless there’s another Granolavirus outbreak before Easter Sunday, of course.
Rebecca: (sighs) Dad, you know this isn’t what I want…
Mr. Rabbit: Rebecca, my dear… the Easter Bunny is a title that has been passed down through this family for generations! It doesn’t just end because some rabbit wants to… what did you say, again? Drum in a band? (smirks) That’s not a proper job, Rebecca. Why don’t you go into structural engineering like me, eh? Build houses and stuff? 
[Pause…]
Rebbeca: I don’t want to be the Easter Bunny.
Mr. Rabbit: But Rebecca-
Rebbeca: I don’t want to be the Easter Bunny!
Mr. Rabbit: But-
Rebbeca: I DON’T WANT TO BE THE EASTER BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Rabbit: …you are going to be the Easter Bunny whether you like it or not. Now, I suggest you pack up or this drumming shit and meet us in the dining room for dinner.
[Mr. Rabbit walks out and slams the door behind him. Cut to Daddy Pig, Mummy Sheep and SpongeBob at a car dealership. It is now dark outside.]
Mike: So… adding everything up this car should come to… twelve thousand, four hundred and forty five euro and ninety cents.
Mummy Sheep: …um, British please?
Mike: (sighs) Ten thousand, four hundred and twenty pounds.
Daddy Pig: That’s a bargain! We’ll take it!
Mike: I am glad to hear.
SpongeBob: Hey.. don’t I know you from somewhere?
Mike: Oh, you must know my son Zoltan. Well… he’s my biological son anyway.
SpongeBob: Ah that’s it! So what are you doing working at Grandad Dog’s Car Dealership then?
Mike: Oh this is just a side hustle to help fund my camp.
Mummy Sheep: You own a camp?
Mike: A summer camp, actually. It’s for jewish and disabled children. I haven’t had a lot of people joining recently, though. 
Peppa Pig Narrator: Mike is a Nazi.
Mike: You wouldn’t be interested in signing anyone up, would you?
Daddy Pig: Oh! My son George is autistic! Maybe he would like to go.
Mike: Excellent.
[Cut to Rebecca Rabbit walking down the highway by herself. It is still night.]
Rebecca: Ugh, I don’t need my dad anyway. If I was still at that adoption centre, none of this would have happened!
[Cut to Daddy Pig driving SpongeBob and Mummy Sheep down the same highway in his new car.]
Daddy Pig, SpongeBob and Mummy Sheep: 🎵NOW FROM THE TOP, MAKE IT DROP, THAT’S SOME WET ASS PUSSY! NOW GET A BUCKET AND A MOP, THAT’S SOME WET ASS PUSSY!🎵
[Cut back to Rebecca Rabbit walking down the highway.]
Rebecca: All famous people have struggles before they strike it rich! That lady wrote Harry Potter in a ditch! …where she belongs.
[Cut back to Daddy Pig and everyone in the car.]
Daddy Pig, SpongeBob and Mummy Sheep: 🎵I’M TALKING WAP, WAP, WAP, THAT’S SOME WET ASS PUSSY!🎵
[Cut back to Rebecca.]
Rebecca: I just need to find somewhere to stay for a week… maybe a month, somehow become a famous drummer, and then I’ll be set! Yeah… I don’t need to be the Easter Bunny. I just need to-
[Daddy Pig starts speeding down the highway towards Rebbeca.]
Daddy Pig, SpongeBob and Mummy Sheep: 🎵MACARONI IN A POT, THAT’S SOME WET ASS PUSS-🎵
Rebecca: -I just need to get into a car accident apparently.
[Daddy Pig fucking runs over Rebecca Rabbit.]
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear! It looks like Daddy Pig has killed Rebecca Rabbit!
Mummy Sheep: (gasps) Daddy Pig!
Daddy Pig: It’s not my fault! It’s um… it’s um… this poxy new car’s fault!
[The three hop out of the car and rush over to check on Rebecca.]
Daddy Pig: Er… this isn’t going to go well in court, is it?
SpongeBob: Who cares about what they’re gonna say in court! We just fucking killed someone!
Mummy Sheep: No, no, SpongeBob! We were just the passengers! This was all Daddy Pig’s fault! We had nothing to do with this, SpongeBob. Now come on, let’s go before the police come-
SpongeBob: We can’t just run away!
[SpongeBob starts feeling Rebecca.]
SpongeBob: …she still has a pulse.
Mummy Sheep: (sighs) Okay, so what the hell do you want us to do then?
Daddy Pig: I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. First of all, we put this poor bunny out of its misery, and then we speed off and pray there aren’t any CCTV cameras around here.
[Daddy Pig picks up a rock and aims it at Rebecca.]
Daddy Pig: Don’t worry, little girl. Daddy Pig’s gonna send you to a better place!
[Rebecca suddenly wakes up.]
Rebecca: What happened? Is this the Heaviside Layer?
[Daddy Pig starts screaming. Rebecca screams back.]
Daddy Pig: THE FUCKER’S STILL ALIVE!!!!!
Mummy Sheep: KILL IT BEFORE IT TELLS ANYONE!
SpongeBob: STOP!!!!!!!!
[Pause.]
SpongeBob: Have you two lost your minds? We can’t just kill her! We almost ran this poor, innocent bunny over and by some weird fanfiction-y miracle, she is still alive!
[SpongeBob leans over to Rebecca.]
SpongeBob: Are you lost, little girl?
Rebecca: Um… I guess so.
SpongeBob: Aw… you poor, poor thing. See guys? We have to help her!
Daddy Pig: Ugh…. I guess you’re right.
SpongeBob: What’s your name, little girl?
Rebecca: E.B.- I mean… Rebecca.
SpongeBob: What are you doing out this late? Where’s your family, Rebecca?
Rebecca: I, uh… don’t really have a family.
Mummy Sheep: Great! She doesn’t have anyone to snitch on us to! 
[Mummy Sheep picks up Rebecca by the ears and starts walking to the edge of the cliff with her.]
Mummy Sheep: Now let’s kill her before!
SpongeBob: MUMMY SHEEP STOP!!!
Rebecca: Wait! Don’t kill me! I’ve got so much to live for! I… I… (grins) Well… I guess if you kill me, then I guess you’ll have to explain to all of the children on Easter morning why they haven’t gotten their Easter baskets.
[Mummy Sheep stops.]
Daddy Pig: (snorts) Are you the… Easter Bunny?
Rebecca: Perhaps…
[Pause.]
Mummy Sheep: (sighs) Let’s take the thing back to your place, SpongeBob.
[Exterior shot of SpongeBob’s pineapple the next morning. Inside SpongeBob, Daddy Pig, Mummy Sheep, Rebecca Rabbit and Gary the Snail 2 are gathered in the lounge.]
SpongeBob: …so are you actually the Easter Bunny?
Rebecca: Well… not technically. I- I’m the daughter of the Easter Bunny.
Gary 2: Pffft, the Easter Bunny doesn’t actually exist. He’s just a myth like Santa Claus and vaccines.
Rebecca: No, really! My Dad’s the Easter Bunny! I’m supposed to be crowned the Easter Bunny today but you see… I don’t really want to be the Easter Bunny… so I ran away.
[Pause.]
Mummy Sheep: (smirks) Your pet snail’s right, SpongeBob. Do you really expect us to believe that she’s the Easter Bunny?
SpongeBob: Wh- why wouldn’t she be?
Mummy Sheep: Well… do we have any proof?
Gary 2: Yeah! If you’re really the Easter Bunny, then prove it!
Rebecca: Well… okay.
[After a pause, Rebecca Rabbit starts heaving.]
Daddy Pig: Um… what is she doing?
SpongeBob: I think she’s… pooping?
[Suddenly, Rebecca shits out some jelly beans.]
Gary 2: Huh. That’s new.
Peppa Pig Narrator: Rebecca Rabbit can shit jelly beans!
Rebecca: Believe me now?
Mummy Sheep: (rolls eyes) I guess…
Daddy Pig: I mean only the Easter Bunny could shit jelly beans!
SpongeBob: …maybe we should settle this over breakfast. Don’t you have an OnlyFans to film or something, Mummy Sheep?
Mummy Sheep: Oh right! I almost forgot. 
[Cut back to Mr. Rabbit’s house. Mr. Rabbit is crying on a chair in the kitchen.]
Mr. Rabbit: You don’t think I was too harsh on her last night, do you?
Mummy Rabbit: Of course not, darling!
Mr. Rabbit: I just… I just don’t know where she could have ran off to!
Mummy Rabbit: (sighs) I think there’s only one thing for it, love.
Mr. Rabbit: What’s that?
[Close-up of Mummy Rabbit’s face.]
Mummy Rabbit: Send out the penis signal.
[Cut to a searchlight, similar to the Bat-Signal except in the shape of a penis, being cast over a tall shadowy building. PenisMan steps out onto the rooftop.]
PenisMan: I SMELL AN ORGASM!
[Exterior shot of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob, Daddy Pig and Rebecca are inside eating breakfast.]
Daddy Pig: Look, Rebecca is it? …I just don’t really understand. Why wouldn’t you wanna be the Easter Bunny?
Rebecca: I don’t know. Ask Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio and Brian Lynch.
SpongeBob: Who?
Rebecca: Look, if I could just stay with you for a few days… maybe forever, you would be REALLY saving my life!
SpongeBob: Of course! You can stay for as long as you need!
Daddy Pig: What?
Rebecca: THANK YOU!
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: So er… what exactly is your plan here?
Rebecca: Well um… I don’t know. I never thought I’d get this f-
SpongeBob: OH MY GOD IS THAT SIMON COWELL?!
[The three turn around and look out into The Krusty Krab window. A bus is parked up with a poster for “Bikini Bottom’s Got Talent” with Simon Cowell’s face on it.]
Daddy Pig: OH MY GOD IT’S SIMON COWELL FROM SCOOB!
Rebecca: THIS IS PERFECT!
SpongeBob: YEAH! I LOVE SCOOB!
Rebecca: No, I mean… I want to be a drummer, you see. If I can impress Simon Cowell from Scoob! on Bikini Bottom’s Got Talent… I could be set for life!
Daddy Pig: I mean, I don’t know. Doesn’t he only really like cancer patients?
Rebecca: I had the sniffles once.
Daddy Pig: That’s close enough I guess.
SpongeBob: (looking on his phone) Guys, look! Auditions are today at the theatre! We go there, Rebecca does the audition… and she’s set!
Rebecca: Perfect!
Daddy Pig: Hmm… what’s in it for us though?
Rebecca: I don’t sue you for almost killing me?
[Pause.]
Daddy Pig: Let’s roll.
[Cut to PenisMan and Mr. Krabs inside Mr. Krabs’ CCTV camera room from Truth or Square?.]
PenisMan: Thanks for letting me check your illegal CCTV, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Don’t mention it, PenisMan.
PenisMan: Why do you have cameras watching everyone in Bikini Bottom and Peppa Pig World, again?
Mr. Krabs: Um… that’s not important. 
[PenisMan starts checking the camera footage.]
PenisMan: Okay, so… if I’m right we should see Rebecca Rabbit running away from home…
[We see footage of Rebecca Rabbit running away from home.]
PenisMan: Here! Now we just have to follow her to… the highway?
[We see Daddy Pig running over Rebecca.]
PenisMan: Wait, is that… Daddy Pig? And… SpongeBob?
Mr. Krabs: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! SPONGEBOB AND DADDY PIG SHOT REBECCA RABBIT!
[Pause.]
PenisMan: This isn’t a murder mystery. Have you seen SpongeBob and Daddy Pig by any chance?
Mr. Krabs: As a matter of fact, they were getting breakfast in here earlier. With some bunny thing or something I don’t know. They were talking about that film SCOOB!. Great movie. Apparently that guy, um… Steve Cow is having a talent show today or something.
PenisMan: Well… thank you for your help, Mr. Krabs. 
Mr. Krabs: My pleasure. Now, that’ll be $50.
PenisMan: (sighs) Do you take Peniscoin? 
[Exterior shot of the Bikini Bottom theatre. Cut to the inside where various performers are auditioning on stage for Simon Cowell and fellow judge Ian Hawke.]
Zoltan’s Mum: NO! I’M NOT GONNA GIVE UP YET! If fish can live underwater, then so can I!
[Zoltan’s Mum drowns. Simon Cowell presses a large red buzzer.]
Gary 2: 🎵I suck his dick with a smile, for hours at a time-🎵
[Simon Cowell presses the buzzer again.]
Sikowitz: So um… pedophilia, am I right?
[Simon Cowell presses the buzzer again. Rebecca Rabbit walks onto stage.]
Simon Cowell: (groans) Name?
Rebecca: Um… Rebecca Rabbit.
Ian Hawke: And how old are you, Rebecca?
Rebecca: I am, uh… five years old.
Ian Hawke: Five years old, right. And what are you gonna do for us today, Rebecca?
[Rebecca nervously looks off-stage. SpongeBob and Daddy Pig give her a thumbs up.]
Rebecca: I’m, uh… going to be doing some drumming.
Simon Cowell: Some drumming, eh? Well, we’re ready than you are, Rebecca.
Rebecca: (gulps) Okay…
[After a pause, Rebecca starts playing a drum cover of the hit song “Chug Jug WIth You”.]
Got a number one victory royale
 
Yeah fortnite we bout to get down (get down)
 
Ten kills on the board right now
 
Just wiped out tomato town
 
My friends just go down
 
I’ve revived him now we’re heading south bound
 
Now we’re in the pleasant park streets
 
Look at the map go to the mark sheets
Take me to your Xbox to play fortnite today
 
You can take me to moist mire but not loot lake
 
I would really love to, chug with you
 
We can be pro fortnite game-
 
Ian Hawke: STOP!
 
[Rebecca stops drumming.]
 
Daddy Pig: Wh- what happened?
 
Rebecca: Did I- …did I do something wrong?
 
[Pause.]
 
Simon Cowell: Do you have cancer or anything?
 
[Pause.]
 
Rebecca: I, um-
 
[Daddy Pig rushes onto the stage.]
 
Daddy Pig: YES! YES! She, um… has a very mild… thing going on that um… if she isn’t treated soon she COULD DIE!
 
Rebecca: I could?
 
Daddy Pig: YES! YES! You’re going to die, Rebecca! But, um… you see, Mr. Cowell… it was always her wish to be on Bikini Bottom’s Got Talent so er… here we are! 
 
[Pause.]
 
Daddy Pig: Heh. Yeah, her last dying wish.
 
[After a pause, Simon Cowell stands up and presses the golden buzzer.]
 
Simon Cowell: YOU’RE THROUGH TO THE NEXT ROUND!
 
[Rebecca, Daddy Pig and SpongeBob starts celebrating.]
 
Rebecca: WOOOH!!!!!!!
 
SpongeBob: YEAH! WE DID IT!
 
Daddy Pig: Well I am a bit of an expert at pretending to have cancer.
 
SpongeBob: wait wut
 
Daddy Pig: Nothing.
 
Simon Cowell: Look, Rebecca, your story… is beautiful. You need to come to the live taping of the show, tomorrow.
 
Rebecca: Tomorrow? 
 
Simon Cowell: Tomorrow. I’ll send an Uber.
 
[Pause.]
 
Rebecca: Ummm…. Okay!
 
[Exterior shot of SpongeBob’s pineapple at night. Cut to the inside, where SpongeBob, Daddy Pig, Rebecca and Gary 2 are watching TV.]
 
Rebecca: -and I was all like DRUMFUBYGKULIDHGYJUH2DGWYFNVBILUKGTRHFCBGNHUILYTFBGHJKUYGHULIHG! And Simon Cowell was like YOU’RE THROUGH TO THE NEXT ROUND! And it couldn’t have gone better! (laughs)
 
Gary 2: I don’t understand cancer patients. Why can’t they just… not have cancer? I don’t get it!
 
SpongeBob: (yawns) Ight, Imma head out for the night. See y’all for Rebecca’s big day tomorrow.
 
Daddy Pig: Night SpongeBob.
 
Rebecca: Night SpongeBob.
 
Gary 2: Good riddance SpongeBob.
 
[SpongeBob walks upstairs.]
 
Daddy Pig: (snorts) And to think I wanted to kill you earlier, Rebecca! I’m gonna be able to add someone else to the list of people I know that have been on TV!
 
[Cut back to the Bikini Bottom Theatre. Simon Cowell is cleaning up.]
 
Simon Cowell: Whew. What a day.
 
[PenisMan enters.]
 
PenisMan: Excuse me sir, are you a cow?
 
Simon Cowell: No.
 
PenisMan: Aw.
 
Simon Cowell: But I am a Cowell.
 
PenisMan: That’s close enough. Have you seen anyone that looks like… (pulls out a picture of Rebecca Rabbit, SpongeBob and Daddy Pig) this recently?
 
[Pause.]
 
Simon Cowell: Do you have cancer?
 
PenisMan: I-
 
Simon Cowell: Then I refuse to tell you.
 
PenisMan: Your loss.
 
Simon Cowell: Look mate, I’m not doing so good financially recently. The X Factor got cancelled and I mean… look, I was in SCOOB! for the love of God! SCOOB! Who agrees to be in SCOOB!?
 
PenisMan: I like SCOOB!
 
Simon Cowell: Thanks, but… this Rebecca is really talented and I kind of really need her in my show tomorrow.
 
PenisMan: So you know where she is?
 
Simon Cowell: NO! That’s not what I said-
 
PenisMan: You said she’s in your show tomorrow.
 
[Pause.]
 
Simon Cowell: (groans) Yes, she’s in the show tomorrow. If you really must know, I think the three of them are staying together or something. I really don’t know.
 
PenisMan: …thanks for your help.
 
Simon Cowell: a
 
[Exterior shot of SpongeBob’s pineapple. The night sky fades into the morning. Cut to the inside, where Rebecca Rabbit is wandering around the kitchen. No one else is awake.]
 
Rebecca: (yawns) I wonder if SpongeBob has any Cheerios.
 
???: -and the search continues for one young Rebecca Rabbit who-
 
[Rebecca Rabbit slowly starts walking into the living room. A news report is playing on the TV. Daddy Pig is on the couch fast asleep.]
 
Perch Perkins: (on TV) -mysteriously disappeared from her own this Easter weekend. According to local authorities, and by local authorities I of course mean PenisMan, Rebecca Rabbit was kidnapped by two armed and dangerous madmen known as “SpongeBob SquarePants” and… am I saying this right? “Daddy Pig”.
 
Daddy Pig: (in his sleep) But it’s Saturday, Mummy Pig. Isn’t it?
 
[Suddenly, Rebecca Rabbit notices PenisMan outside the window.]
 
Rebecca: GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!!!
 
[Rebecca runs into the kitchen.]
 
Rebecca: I gotta, um… I gotta-
 
[A knocking is heard on the front door.]
 
???: (off-screen) Uber for… “Rebecca Rabbit”? It’s Bikini Bottom’s Got Talent.
 
[Pause.]
 
Rebecca: I don’t think SpongeBob and Daddy Pig will mind if I go on without them, right?
 
[Rebecca grabs a Tesco Turkey from one of SpongeBob’s cupboards, puts her jacket on it and runs outside.]
 
Ian Hawke: Ah, Rebecca! 
 
[Rebecca hops into the Uber and it drives off. Daddy Pig approaches the front door.]
 
Daddy Pig: Huh, that’s weird. Must have left the front door open.
 
[SpongeBob walks up to Daddy Pig from behind.]
 
SpongeBob: Hey, have you seen Rebecca?
 
[Suddenly, a dart is shot at Daddy Pig and he falls to the floor.]
 
SpongeBob: Um… Daddy Pi-
 
[Another dart is shot at SpongeBob, and he blacks out too.]
 
Peppa Pig Narrator: Oh dear. SpongeBob and Daddy Pig have been knocked unconscious! 
 
[Cut to SpongeBob and Daddy Pig waking up in Mr. Rabbit’s house.]
 
Daddy Pig: Ugh… where am I? What year is it?
 
SpongeBob: Is The Rock presiden?
 
[Pause.]
 
SpongeBob: What? He’s hot.
 
Mr. Rabbit: You people make me sick!
 
SpongeBob: Oh great a homophobe.
 
Mr. Rabbit: No, not that! I’m talking about you killing my daughter!
 
Daddy Pig: Killing… your daughter?
 
[Pause.]
 
SpongeBob: Ohhhhhhhhhh! You mean Rebecca Rabbit!
 
Daddy Pig: Wait, Rebecca Rabbit is your daughter, Mr. Rabbit?
 
Mr. Rabbit: Um… didn’t you know?
 
Daddy Pig: Wait, doesn’t that mean your the Easter Bunny? My best friend is the Easter Bunny?!
 
Mr. Rabbit: You killed my daughter, stop changing the subject.
 
SpongeBob: But… we didn’t kill Rebecca!
 
Daddy Pig:You see… we WERE gonna kill her… but we changed our minds.
 
PenisMan: OBJECTION, YOUR HONOUR!
 
SpongeBob: Wait, we’re not in court, are we?
 
PenisMan: Nah, I’ve just always wanted to say that.
 
Daddy Pig: Wait, PenisMan?
 
PenisMan: Oh hey SpongeBob and Daddy Pig. How’s it going?
 
SpongeBob: Everything’s great actually.
 
Daddy Pig: Mummy Sheep is good in bed.
 
SpongeBob: I’m not sure why we were tranquilised and taken to Rebecca Rabbit’s dad’s house though. Where is Rebecca anyway?
 
PenisMan: Good question. Um… well… maybe this will jog your memory.
 
[PenisMan pulls out a pot containing the Tesco turkey.]
 
SpongeBob: GAH!
 
Daddy Pig: LOL! That Tesco turkey has Rebecca’s jacket on!
 
Mr. Rabbit: That’s not a Tesco turkey, you plonker! That’s my daughter! And YOU killed her!
 
SpongeBob: What?
 
Peppa Pig Narrator: Mr. Rabbit and PenisMan think SpongeBob and Daddy Pig have killed Rebecca.
 
PenisMan: I… I… I thought we were friends, SpongeBob and Daddy Pig.
 
SpongeBob: But we are!
 
Daddy Pig: This is all just a big misunderstanding, I swear! That is obviously a Tesco turkey!
 
PenisMan: Looks like a cooked Rebecca Rabbit to me.
 
SpongeBob: …how?! That’s obviously a turkey! That looks nothing like a rabbit!
 
Mr. Rabbit: But it has to be a rabbit! It has Rebecca’s jacket on!
 
SpongeBob: Maybe Rebecca put her jacket on the turkey, and ran off, framing us for her murder!
 
Daddy Pig: Why would she do that?
 
SpongeBob: I-
 
Daddy Pig: Like, literally why would she do that? In terms of the plot that doesn’t make any sense at all.
 
SpongeBob: I don’t know. Ask Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio and Brian Lynch.
 
[Cut to Rebecca Rabbit in a dressing room getting ready for Bikini Bottom’s Got Talent.]
 
Rebecca: Why the hell did I put my jacket on a Tesco turkey and run off, framing SpongeBob and Daddy Pig for murder? Like, literally why would I do that? In terms of the plot that doesn’t make any sense at all.
 
[A knock is heard on the door. Simon Cowell enters.]
 
Simon Cowell: Hey my number one cancer patient. You ready for the big show?
 
Rebecca: I’m not sure.
 
Simon Cowell: Ah, the jitters. I see. It happens to the best of us, you’ll be great!
 
Rebecca: No, I mean… I’m just feeling a bit guilty.
 
Simon Cowell: …talk to me.
 
Rebecca: …well, before I got here I may or may not have framed my two new best friends for my murder.
 
Simon Cowell: Yeah, and?
 
Rebecca: You’re not phased by that at all?
 
Simon Cowell: Not really. Show’s starting soon, come on.
 
Rebecca: Mr. Cowell… with all due respect I’ve made a mistake. I need to go and rescue my friends.
 
Simon Cowell: But- but… what about the show?! I need you for the publicity! 
 
Rebecca: (stands up) I’m sorry Simon, I loved you in SCOOB! but my friends need my help.
 
[Pause.]
 
Simon Cowell: Alright, I see how it is.
 
[Pause.]
 
Simon Cowell: Go save your friends.
 
[Cut back to Mr. Rabbit’s house.]
 
Mr. Rabbit: IT IS NOT A TESCO TURKEY!
 
SpongeBob: BUT IT IS!
 
Mr. Rabbit: THAT IS MY DAUGHTER!
 
Daddy Pig: HOW THE FUCK IS IT YOUR DAUGHTER? THAT IS OBVIOUSLY A TURKEY!
 
Mr. Rabbit: IF IT’S NOT MY DAUGHTER, THEN WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!
 
[Rebecca Rabbit walks in.]
 
Rebecca: ‘sup motherfuckers
 
Mr. Rabbit: Rebecca!
 
[Mr. Rabbit runs towards Rebecca and hugs her.]
 
Mr. Rabbit: I have been so worried about you!
 
PenisMan: What? But- if you didn’t kill Rebecca Rabbit… eh who gives a shit.
 
Rebecca: SpongeBob, Daddy Pig, listen… I am so sorry.
 
SpongeBob: It’s okay. If I had to, I would have framed you for my murder too.
 
Rebecca: Really?
 
SpongeBob: No, not really.
 
Mr. Rabbit: So… what happened?
 
Rebecca: Well… I didn’t want to be the Easter Bunny, so I ran off to be a drummer. SpongeBob and Daddy Pig ran me over, but then let me stay with them so they wouldn’t get sued. And then I auditioned for Bikini Bottom’s Got Talent and-
 
Mr. Rabbit: Rebecca, I am so sorry… I am so sorry that I wanted you to be the Easter Bunny. I was so focused on tradition that I forgot to-
 
Rebecca: Nah I don’t care.
 
Mr. Rabbit: wait wut
 
Rebecca: Drumming is stupid anyway, I can be the Easter Bunny if you want.
 
Mr. Rabbit: Doesn’t that kind of go against the moral of this story?
 
Rebecca: Kind of.
 
[Pause.]
 
Daddy Pig: So… are we all good?
 
Mr. Rabbit: All good.
 
[Exterior shot of The Krusty Krab on Easter Sunday. SpongeBob, Daddy Pig, Mummy Sheep, Gary 2, Mr. Rabbit and PenisMan are eating together.]
 
Daddy Pig: I still can’t believe my best friend is the Easter Bunny!
Mr. Rabbit: Was the Easter Bunny, you mean. Rebecca should still be delivering Easter baskets to children all over the world right now! Which reminds me, I’ve got a little something for everyone.
 
[Mr. Rabbit pulls out a bag of Easter eggs.]
 
Mummy Sheep: Aw! Thanks Mr. Rabbit!
 
PenisMan: I’m so glad Jesus Christ died for our sins so it could be socially acceptable to gorge on chocolate and get diabetes for one whole weekend.
 
SpongeBob: Awwww! Mr. Rabbit, you shouldn’t have!
 
Mr. Rabbit: It’s my pleasure.
 
SpongeBob: No, you really shouldn’t have. Gary 2’s allergic to chocolate and Daddy Pig is trying to watch his weight.
 
Gary 2: I’m allergic to dark chocolate, white chocolate is fine.
 
[After a pause, everyone falls to the floor in a fit of laughter.]
 
Peppa Pig Narrator: Gary the Snail 2 loves being racist. Everyone loves being racist!
 
[Fade to black.]
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