The Secret of the Jade Raccoon

The Secret of the Jade Raccoon is a fanmade episode of the Hanna-Barbera animated series Midnight Patrol: Adventures in the Dream Zone (known as Potsworth and Co. in the UK).
== Plot ==
(The episode begins in Dream Central. The Midnight Patrol is meeting with the Chief)
Chief: Midnight Patrol, your next assignment is in the Jade Forest.
Carter: What's in the Jade Forest?
Chief: A statue called the Jade Racoon. It has the power to give good health and well-being to all the plants and animals that live there.
Keiko: Wow. It must be very important.
Potsworth: She's very bright for a human.
Keiko: Come on, Midnight Patrol.
(The team heads off)
Potsworth: I do wish they wouldn't rush.
(Potsworth leaves and catches up with the others. They later enter the Jade Forest)
Carter: Wow, this forest is pretty thick.
Rosie: How are we going to find the Jade Racoon?
Keiko: I'm sure it's not too far.
(The Midnight Patrol pauses when they hear rustling in a nearby bush)
Nick: What was that?
Keiko: I don't know.
Potsworth: Perhaps it's a lion or a bear.
(A female long-tailed weasel wearing a blue bow on her head comes out)
Potsworth: Oh. It's only a weasel.
Keiko: Aww. It's so cute.
(The weasel races up to them)
Weasel: Oh, my gosh, omigosh, omisogh! You're the Midnight Patrol! I've heard all about you! My name's Sandi. It's great to meet you.
Carter: Nice to meet you too, Sandi.
Nick: We're looking for the Jade Racoon. Do you know where it is?
Sandi: Of course, I do. I live here, so I know the forest like the back of my paw. Follow me. This'll be the grandest, most exciting-est, and most enjoyable-ist adventure... (she eventually kisses Rosie on the nose) ...in the whole wide Dream Zone!
Rosie: EWW! Nicholas! This little creature is starting to become of more of a pain than your nosy reptile!
Nicholas: She's just hyped up to see us all, Rosie. After all, she's just a small weasel.
Sandi: I may be small on the outside but I've got a massive sense of adventure! This will be fun, fun, fun! Come on!
Keiko: You heard Sandi, let's roll, Midnight Patrol!
Potsworth: I'm elated already.
Rosie: Wandering around Jade Forest with a stuffed lizard and a hyperactive weasel? Okay. 
(Sandi, Keiko, Carter, Nick, and Potsworth proceed, with Rosie lagging behind)
Rosie: But I don't have to like it! 
(Cuts to the Nightmare Prince's castle. The Nightmare Prince is spying on the Midnight Patrol and Sandi through a telescope)
Nightmare Prince: Ah, that pesky Midnight Patrol is looking for the Jade Racoon, eh? I could put its powers to very good use. When they expect it, they'll only find that it is gone, because I'm going to beat them to it.
(the Nightmare Prince gets a call from his mother)
Nightmare Prince: Yes?
Nightmare Prince's mother: Son-- [gibberish talk]
Nightmare Prince: Yes... Yes... I'm at Jade Forest. I'm full aware. Oh, yes, I understand about the statue's goodwill powers. Okay! Okay! I'll strip the forest of its powers and take it as my very own token. Thanks for the reminder, mom. (he hangs up) Igor... Irving... Shorty... IN HERE AT ONCE!
(The Nightmare Prince's minions arrive)
Igor/Irving/Shorty: Yes, Your Wretchedness?
Nightmare Prince: There's a statue called the Jade Raccoon. It's got the power to bring goodwill to Jade Forest and all the creatures that live within it.
Shorty: I guess that raccoon thing-a-ma-jig is very valuable and its kept under great protection. Right?
Nightmare Prince: Exactly. But this time, I will give the Midnight Patrollers a stroll through the forest that they won't soon forget. The priceless Jade Raccoon will be in my possession before it gets protection from those kids.
Igor: Then why get such a valuable statue if it's priceless?
Nightmare Prince: Because, you dolt, as long as it stands there, the forest is healthy. But if I can take it, the forest will be covered in misery! And every forest creature there will disheartened. [laughs maniacally] That should give us an advantage.
Irving: What a genius.
(The Midnight Patrol and Sandi keep wandering through the forest until they come to a path with three split paths)
Sandi: Whoopsie!
Keiko: What's wrong, Sandi?
Potsworth: Why have we stopped short?
Sandi: I completely forgot about the right path to the Jade Raccoon, and my mommy wanted me not to ever touch it. *sniffle* Now I don't know which path we should take.
Carter: We can just figure it out through your logic. Besides, you said you knew the forest like the back of your paw.
Keiko: Didn't you ever see the Jade Raccoon, Sandi?
Sandi: Well, not entirely. I'm only a small weasel, and I wanted to see the statue, but I wasn't allowed because it was too valuable to the forest animals. And some of whom were too overprotective of it.
Keiko: You poor thing.
Nick: That's some story, Sandi, it does sound pretty sad.
Sandi: BUT... If I retrace my steps from my last trip, then we could try memorizing the right path to the Jade Raccoon! It's gonna be puzzling, but I LOVE a challenge! But I'm gonna need all the help I can get from you!
Rosie: No way! The forest is too tacky even for my good looks to handle, so count me out!
Potsworth/Carter/Keiko/Nick/Sandi: Rosie!
Sandi: Come on, we need to think of the proper path!
Rosie: Okay, okay.
(The group comes to a giant "fork in the road", splitting the path into three paths)
Sandi: I do recall seeing that fork in the road, but my mommy said that the brightest edge of the fork leads to the Jade Raccoon.
Keiko: Really, Sandi? Which one?
Sandi (after a few minutes of puzzling): I think the brightest edge is on the... RIGHT!
(The Midnight Patrol and Sandi take the right path, and eventually come to an old bridge)
Sandi: That's strange... the first time I went this way the water was normal, and the bridge was completely stable. (She sniffs down at the sight of a polluted river) But now the bridge looks like it could collapse at any moment and the water down there is DISGUSTING!
Rosie: EEW! You're telling ME!
Keiko: I'm sure if we're careful, we'll make it across and get to the other side safely.
Potsworth: She always seems so sure of herself.
(Sandi and the Midnight Patrol begin cautiously making their way across the bridge. Rosie is disgusted as she looks down at the polluted river below but does her best to keep moving. At one point, Carter's foot breaks through part of the bridge. Nick and Rosie pull him back up)
Carter: Thanks, you guys.
Nick: No problem, Carter.
(Very soon, the bridge starts falling apart)
Sandi: Uh-oh!
Keiko: Run!
(Sandi and the Midnight Patrol race across the collapsing bridge and get to the other side just in time. The broken pieces of the bridge fall into the filthy river below)
Rosie: Phew... That was close.
Sandi: For a minute, I thought my fur was going to be covered in smelly water!
Rosie: Me too.
Keiko: There's no time to argue about the incident we just had. We need to help that poor weasel find the Jade Raccoon. Let's go!
Potsworth: I have a feeling this will not work well, even if we do find what the little creature is looking for.
(As the Midnight Patrol and Sandi travel further into the forest, they see trees and bramble bushes with eyes on them)
Nick: I'm starting to get the feeling we're being watched.
Keiko: Yes, Nick, me too, but nothing is going to stop us or Sandi.
Carter: Still, we're doing a good job trying to get her memory back.
(Suddenly, poison brambles drop from the trees and onto the path that Sandi and the Midnight Patrol are on, blocking it)
Sandi: Oh great! I should have remembered to look out for the brambles here... they're POISONOUS! Whoever touches them will be permanently put to sleep!
Keiko: Sandi, we already are asleep. That's why we're in the Dream Zone.
Potsworth: That didn't come as a surprise to me.
(the poison brambles come to life, grow immense eyes, and begin to make creepy noises)
Sandi: They're alive! AND I'M SCARED!
Keiko: Carter, can you do something about it?
(Carter paints a giant magnifying glass and begins to lure it towards the brambles. As they see themselves in the magnifying glass, they all shriek in horror, break apart and blow themselves in different directions)
Sandi: Thank you, thank you, thank you again! I'm so RELIEVED of your heroism and bravery.
Carter: Nothing a little piece of art couldn't handle.
Sandi: You are all my saviors when it comes to protecting a little creature like me.
Nick: I don't know about Rosie... the only thing she cares about is her good looks. And--
Rosie: NICHOLAS, be quiet! (she takes out her hand mirror and admires herself rather snootily) I just want to be the most beautiful person in the Dream Zone.
(Deeper into the forest, Sandi and the Midnight Patrol come to more tall trees that with glowing red eyes. Sandi starts to jitter with fear)
Sandi: I think I remember going past this obstacle, too... I'm afraid the trees could come to life!
Keiko: What are you talking about?
Sandi: The trees are so tall... and I'm so short! And their looks scare the FUR OFF OF ME! (meekly) After all, I'm just a short long-tailed weasel who needs tender-loving care.
Rosie: Puh-lease, Sandi, everyone knows there's no such thing as a living tree. But even if there was, I would not believe in--
(Before Rosie can finish her sentence, a long tree branch with a hand grows down and picks Rosie up and is raised 30 feet in the air)
Rosie: NICHOLAS! ANYONE! HEEELLLP!
Keiko/Nick: ROSIE!
Sandi: I may be small, but I know how to fight I'm super-fast for a little animal!
(Sandi confronts the tree, it roars down at the Midnight Patrol giving them horrific scares, but Sandi is more than determined to take the dead tree on)
Sandi: I can take you on! COME ON! I'm not afraid of a haunted piece wood like you!
Keiko: Sandi is feeling brave!
(The tree's left branch turns into an extended arm and tries to crush Sandi to the ground, but as it tries to land on Sandi, she immediately dodges the arm with her speed)
Sandi: Sandi dodges a crushing defeat!
(The tree roars and tries to crush Sandi with its branch arm again, but she gets out of the way with her speed)
Sandi: She DOES IT AGAIN!!!
(The tree then gets angry and roars again, trying to crush Sandi a third time, but then gets its arm stuck in another tree trunk. Sandi climbs the arm to the tree's face and then runs circles around the tree causing it to feel dizzy)
Carter: This should take the tree down! 
(Carter paints a long spear, then throws it at the tree making it roar in agony, and then fall to the ground, and the process drop Rosie into a hole in the ground)
Sandi: Sandi, with a little help from her friends, the Midnight Patrol, prevails again!
(Rosie dizzily climbs out of the hole, her hair, including her ponytail, and her blouse and skirt covered with grass and pieces of tree bark)
Rosie: I am embarrassed by a piece of nature... and in Jade Forest... and... *squeal* AND I'M A MESS!
(Potsworth and Sandi come over to see Rosie's ruined hair and clothes)
Rosie: Don't say anything, Potsworth. You neither, Sandi.
Potsworth: I won't even dream of it.
Sandi: Aww. My friends were only trying to help you, Rosie, don't be such a fuss-budget!
(The gang continues on. Eventually, they come to the end of the forest, but are shocked to see that the hole where the Jade Racoon is supposed to be is empty)
Sandi: (hyperactively) OH, NO! OH, NO! OH, NO! The Jade Racoon's not here! But I swore it was here the whole time!
(A net drops down on Sandi and the Midnight Patrol)
Keiko: It's a trap!
Carter: Now, what do we do?
(Tree monsters get a hold of the gang and bring them to the center of a ceremonial bonfire where the Nightmare Prince is waiting)
Nightmare Prince: Ah, the Midnight Patrol. I've been expecting you.
Nick: It's the Nightmare Prince!
Rosie: I knew you were behind this!
Nightmare Prince: Was everything in the forest a surprise to you?
Keiko: Anything but pleasant, but we knew excatly what you were up to, and we won't let you get away with whatever it is that you're trying to do.
Carter: That thing you were after is supposed to bring happiness and joy to the forest creatures.
Potsworth: And it's worth a fortune trying to undo the damage you may have done.
Nightmare Prince: Was it this... that you were looking for?!
Nick: Yes! That's it! You've got few seconds to explain why you took it from its idol room.
Nightmare Prince: You see... without this precious statue, I wouldn't have been able to add to my precious collection of things that I turn into for my own nightmarish proportions. So I needed this thing to make myself comfortable with it, and now it's... well, in my possession!
Rosie: Everything in Jade Forest is even tackier than ever now that you stole it from the idol room.
Keiko: The disgusting river... the poison brambles... the monster trees... they were all just as frightening as your own monster trees!
Nightmare Prince: Enough talk! Shorty... make sure the kids and the dog are made well done.
Sandi: Hey! How come he didn't count me?!
Nick: Can you try to fit through the top of the cage and unlock the keys, Murphy?
(Murphy whines as if he can try to do it, but with doubt)
Nick: Well, it's worth a try, Murphy! Try to do it!
Rosie: Make sure I don't lay an eye on him, Nicholas.
(Murphy, while the Nightmare Prince isn't looking for the moment, and discussing the plans with Shorty, climbs out of the net and climbs the rope attached to it, and he finds a rope cutter)
Nick: (whispering) Great! Now give it to Carter.
Keiko: Wait, Nick, we're in a rope cage. If it's cut we'll fall onto the fire and...
Sandi: Yeah, we'll get a hot-foot all over the place! We'll get SCORCHED!
Nightmare Prince: Is everything set, everyone? And by "everyone", I mean my tree monsters and you, Shorty.
Shorty: I hope so, boss.
Nightmare Prince: And whatever you do, don't touch the button that activates the rain.
Keiko: That might be the only way to put that fire out! 
Carter: But the Nightmare Prince can't see us.
Nick: Maybe that'll get us out of here.
Keiko: Murphy, you're small enough to fit out of here. Just don't cut the rope until the fire is out.
Murphy: Uh-huh.
(While the Nightmare Prince isn't looking, Murphy creeps and presses a green button which causes a shower nozzle to aim toward the bonfire and the Nightmare Prince's monster trees, and starts squirting on them, the trees roar in agony and the bonfire is put out)
Nick: Good going, Murph!
(Murphy whines with delight)
Potsworth: I'm delighted to admit that the bonfire is put out, but the trees seem to be a bit soggy, so to speak)
Keiko: Now you can cut the rope, Carter!
Rosie: And hurry!
(Murphy gives the knife to Carter and he cits the rope cage, causing it to split open and spill everybody out of it to solid ground)
Sandi: Boy! Am I glad to be out of it for once!
Rosie: Me too.
Nightmare Prince: Hey! What happened to my trees?! And my captives?! And the bonfire?!
Sandi: Maybe a certain someone can tell you just as soon as I'm finished with YOU!
(Sandi jumps on top of the Nightmare Prince and attacks him)
Sandi: How do you think it will feel when you'll be sorry you've touched a charm I should have seen a long time ago?!
Nightmare Prince: Somebody get this little creature off of me! Shorty!
Sandi: It's no use complaining... Sandi scratches... (she scratches her claws into the Nightmare Prince's cloak tearing it) and bites... (she bites the Nightmare Prince on the index finger on the right hand)
Nightmare Prince: Ouch! Why you little...!
Sandi: And she delivers an uppercut right to the jaw!
(Sandi punches the Nightmare Prince in the jaw, dropping the Jade Raccoon onto the ground, and also  causing him to stagger backwards and hit his back on a tree which causes all the leaves to fall on top of him)
Sandi: The score: Sandi and her new friends the Midnight Patrol, 2; Forest Monsters, ZIPPO!
(At that moment, the Nightmare Prince's phone rings, Keiko answers it, and the Nightmare Prince's mother jabbers on the phone)
Keiko: Sorry to tell you this, but you have the wrong number... I think someone needs to be, well,...
Carter: "Leafed" alone?
Keiko: Exactly. Let's take this statue back where to the idle display where it belongs.
(Back at the idol room, Keiko places the Jade Raccoon back where it belongs. Magically, trees start to turn green again and bear new life, and flowers start to bloom, the once dirty river now shines with crystal clear water, and butterflies start to show themselves flying, raccoons, foxes, bears, birds, deer, rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, and harvest mice also appear to see the beautiful picturesque forest made by the return of the Jade Raccoon)
Keiko: The forest is reborn!
Sandi: Yes, yes, YES! We did it! We saved the forest from the Nightmare Prince creep and I finally got to see a treasure I'll never forget seeing! My mommy will be SO proud!
Potsworth: She's always the spunky little critter indeed, isn't she?
Sandi: Maybe I can pay a visit to wherever your HQ is, so we can have a REAL celebration!
(In Dream Central, Sebastian is conversing with the Midnight Patrol and Sandi)
Sebastian: Welcome back, Midnight Patrol, and welcome to our HQ, Sandi, it's great to have you here. 
Sandi: Much obliged. (Sandi giggles)
Sebastian: I'm quite happy you're all back safe and sound. That Jade Raccoon was one of a kind. I guess without that artifact, it would have been the end of Jade Forest as we knew it. Even His Drowsiness understands that.
Keiko: It's probably best that the Jade Raccoon stays in its position so nature can be that way.
Carter: Besides, a clean forest is a happy forest.
Potsworth: And a peaceful one, so to speak.
Nick: Hopefully, nobody will ever take that statue ever again.
Murphy: Uh-uh.
Rosie: And the Nightmare Prince can forget about another token. He's totally gone bankrupt by now. He's only planning another scheme so to speak, with his own minions again.
(As Rosie backs into a series of bushes, she falls backwards and she gets her hair caught in the brambles in them, and her hair is ruined again. Embarrassed, Rosie sees herself in a mirror on the wall and sees her ruined hair)
Rosie: EEK! What happened to my hair?! Is it ruined again?! Oh brother...
(Rosie's friends see her hair in a mess)
Keiko: Did you plant those bushes in the HQ, Sebastian?
Sebastian: Only for a special Arbor Day occasion. She's gonna get used to it soon.
Nick: I guess when Arbor Day comes, Rosie will be "out on a limb", right?
(Everybody laughs as they see the bushes with Rosie's hair ruined by one of them)
Rosie: NICHOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSS!
Sandi: (chuckling, speaking with the viewer) I bet she can't wait for Arbor Day to come. Forest adventures SURE ARE fun! Yep, they surely are!
(Sandi gives a happy smile)
THE END
Fictitious voice cast:
Michael Bell as Sebastian.
Judyann Elder as the Chief of the Snooze Patrol.
Joan Gerber as Nightmare Prince's Mother.
Elisabeth Harnois as Rosie.
Whitby Hertford as (Super) Nick.
Janice Kawaye as Keiko.
George Lemore as Carter.
Rob Paulsen as Nightmare Prince.
Clive Revill as Potsworth.
Kath Soucie as Sandi the Long-Tailed Weasel.
Frank Welker as Murphy/Igor/Irving/Shorty/Evil Trees.