Escape From The Escape Room

Escape From The Escape Room is the fifth episode of Six on the Beach. The episode was released as part of PI Day 2021.
== Synopsis ==
The six on the beach go to an escape room, but things turn deadly when they learn that there is one impostor amongst them.
== Transcript ==
[The episode opens on a poorly made purple vortex background filled with floating question mark symbols. Daddy Dandy walks onto the screen, you can see green patches behind him from his badly edited green screen.]
Daddy Dandy: Hi guys, I'm Daddy Dandy and I'm the founder and manager of the Cool Sands Holiday Resort. We bring the "holi", you make the "day".
Patty: (off-screen) That is literally the worst slogan I have ever heard.
Daddy Dandy: Shut up and keep filming! I'm trying to do a commercial here! Heh, anyway, do you like escaping? Do you like rooms? Do you like escaping from rooms? Well why don't you come on down this summer and try our all new escape room! It's the most puzzling fun you'll ever have!
Patty: (off-screen) It really isn't. Please don't come, I want to go home.
Daddy Dandy: I told you to shut up! Now, how are we doing for time? (he checks his watch) We're already over thirty seconds?! Gah, we'll never get this done in time to go on the history channel!
Patty: (off-screen) No one watches the history channel anyway.
[Cut to Patrick sitting down to watch TV in the RV.]
Patrick: Oh boy, time to watch the history channel!
[He turns the TV onto the history channel and the commercial comes on.]
Daddy Dandy: (on TV) -why don't you come on down this summer and try our all new escape room! It's the most puzzling fun you'll ever have! Because at Cool Sands Holiday Resort, we bring the holi-
[Patrick switches the channel.]
Patrick: Ugh, I hate this channel!
SpongeBob: Wait, Cool Sands Holiday Resort? We're at Cool Sands Holiday Resort!
[Mr. Krabs walks in from the shower with a towel around his waist.]
Mr. Krabs: What's happening?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, there was a commercial for an escape room here!
Mr. Krabs: What's an escape room?
SpongeBob: I don't know!
Sandy: An escape room is where you go into a room and have to solve puzzles to escape!
Pearl: Who would lock themselves in a room and call it fun?
Squidward: I wish there was a puzzle to escape this room right now.
Mr. Krabs: Huh, an escape room? Well I know what we're gonna do today!
SpongeBob: Hey, where's Perry?
Pearl: Who the carp is Perry?!!!
[Cut to Daddy Dandy, Patty the Pirate and the Carl the Crackodile mascot standing outside the entrance to the escape room, which is guarded by a big purple ribbon. Dandy is holding an oversized pair of scissors.]
Daddy Dandy: Welcome one and all to the grand opening of the Cool Sands Holiday Resort escape room!
[Pan out to reveal no one else is standing with them.]
Patty: See? I told you it was a bad idea! Who associates escape rooms with vacations anyway?
[SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and Pearl approach them.]
Mr. Krabs: Hello, we're here for the escape room.
Daddy Dandy: Them apparently. Hi, I'm Daddy Dandy and I'm the founder and-
Mr. Krabs: Please, we know.
Squidward: Ugh, I can't believe I'm purposely locking myself up with SpringBob and Fatrick.
Mr. Krabs: That's the spirit, Mr. Squidward!
Daddy Dandy: We're just waiting on the other people before we let you all in.
Squidward: Wait, other people?
???: WHAT IS UP GUYS?!
Squidward: Oh no.
[Internet personalities Mac and his mom approach the group, filming themselves on camera.]
Mac: My name is Mac and in today's video we're doing the twenty thousand dollar escape room challenge! 
Pearl: (turns to SpongeBob) Isn't that the ChooTuber who made that embarrassing video of you go viral a few episodes ago?
SpongeBob: I don't want to talk about it.
Mac: Today we're going into an escape room with several other contestants, and the first person to escape will win twenty thousand dollars!
Mr. Krabs: Wait, actually?
Mac's Mom: It's Squidopoly money.
Mr. Krabs: Oh.
Mac: If you like today's challenge, please subscribe to the channel and turn on notifications for more amazing challenges just like this one.
Squidward: Wait, so there are eight of us going in?
Patty: Nine, actually.
[A small big-mouthed fish approaches the group.]
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Sandy: Well, the more the merrier I guess.
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
SpongeBob: That is so right, little buddy! And what's your name?
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
SpongeBob: Huh, weird name. I'm SpongeBob.
Squidward: Can we just get this over with please?!
Daddy Dandy: Oh, right. The, uh, escape room is now open.
[Dandy cuts to the ribbon and SpongeBob, Patrick and Hoopla cheer. Everyone else is silent.]
Daddy Dandy: So I should probably run you through the basics first. You will have one hour to-
Sandy: LET'S GO!
[The group of nine run past Daddy Dandy and into the escape room.]
Daddy Dandy: Wait! Where are you going?! I didn't get to tell you about- eh, nevermind.
[Cut the group rushing into the escape room. The doors automatically shut behind them.]
SpongeBob: Okay, what should we do first?!
Mr. Krabs: I guess we just need to start looking for our first clues.
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Patrick: This is just like that show I used to watch as a kid! There's this blue snail and she hides her snail tracks around the house and the owner has to find them to-
[The lights suddenly turn off and then back on again. The group stands in silence.]
SpongeBob: The electricity bill must be due.
Mac: Who cares? Let's just get on with the video- I mean, escape room.
Sandy: Yeah, I'm raring to go!
SpongeBob: Alright, here's the plan: we all stick together and look for-
[Pan out to reveal everyone except Patrick has already ran off ]
SpongeBob: Okay, new plan: Patrick and I stick together while everyone else runs off and gets lost.
[The two start walking around looking for clues.]
Patrick: This is a very big room, actually.
SpongeBob: It's not even really a room, it's more a building actually. I guess "escape building" isn't that catchy.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I found something!
SpongeBob: What?
[Patrick picks up a pencil.]
Patrick: It's a number two pencil, the best kind!
SpongeBob: I mean that is a nice pencil but it's not really a clue.
Patrick: Oh.
[They continue looking around.]
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob! I found something else!
SpongeBob: What?! What?!
[Patrick straightens up a painting of Daddy Dandy on the wall.]
Patrick: This painting's wonky. There! Much better.
SpongeBob: Ugh, again, not a clue Patrick. We only have an hour to get out of here.
Patrick: Then what's the hold up?!!
SpongeBob: (sigh) Nevermind. Let's continue looking.
[They carry on walking for a few seconds. Patrick suddenly stops and stares at the floor.]
Patrick: Uh… SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (still walking) I'm not falling for it this time.
Patrick: No! This time I really found something!
SpongeBob: Ha-ha, very funny. I don't know about you but I kind of want to actually solve this puzzle.
Patrick: No, I'm serious! Just turn around!
SpongeBob: (rolls eyes) Okay, but when I turn around and there's nothing there of any relevance you're gonna be the one to blame when we're stuck in her-
[SpongeBob turns around to find Squidward's corpse lying on the floor.]
Patrick: I think Squidward had an accident.
SpongeBob: FLIPPIN' FLOTSAMS! SQUIDWARD'S DEAD!
Patrick: Should we do something?
[SpongeBob sweats and fiddles with his hands in panic.]
SpongeBob: I, uh… we should, uh… (he notices a red button on the wall with the words "emergency meeting" engraved on it, and has an impulse to press it) EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!
[Cut to everyone standing around in a central room confused. SpongeBob and Patrick drag Squidward's body in. Everyone except Mac, his mom, Hoopla and Mr. Krabs start freaking out.
Sandy: (gasp) SQUIDWARD?!
SpongeBob: We, heh, (stutters) found him like this in the hallway. We don't know how he got like this or what happened or anything! (starts crying) I'll miss him so much…
Patrick: Cheer up SpongeBob, it's not like he's dead or anything.
[Sandy checks Squidward's pulse.]
Sandy: That's exactly what he is, Patrick, I can't feel a pulse!
[Mac points his camera at Squidward.]
Mac: Woah! Check it out guys, a dead body! 
Pearl: Someone just died and you're still going on about filming your stupid video?!
Mac: I'm going to get so many views from this!
Sandy: I just don't understand how this could have happened! Was he just lying on the hallway floor?!
SpongeBob: Yes, there wasn't anything that could have hurt him at all!
Mac: (still filming his video) Unless there's a murderer on the loose, guys!
Mac's Mom: Maybe one of us is the murderer, Mac!
Mr. Krabs: Wait, you don't mean that… there is one impostor among us?!
Mac: This challenge just got a whole lot more interesting, guys!
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
Sandy: Will you shut up with your stupid ChooTube video, please?! Squidward is dead!
Pearl: Well, if one of us killed him… who could it be?!
SpongeBob: I mean… Mac's really unfazed by this whole situation.
Sandy: Nah, I think he's just really sociopathic like that.
Mr. Krabs: Meaning that this is totally something he would do, right?! I don't know how these kind of videos work but he seems like the sort of person who'd kill someone just to spice it up.
Mac: Well, uh… you, uh, also seem really unfazed by this whole situation, right?
Mr. Krabs: Well yeah, now that Squidward's gone I have one less paycheck to write!
[Mr. Krabs laughs before realising that everyone is staring at him.]
Mr. Krabs: Heh, I was joking, I was joking! Humour's a good coping mechanism, right?
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
SpongeBob: Well, yeah, I suppose humour is a common coping mechanism.
Sandy: It's also a really insensitive coping mechanism sometimes. You're giving yourselves a positive out of a negative, thus invalidating Squidward's death as you happily benefit from it.
Patrick: I have no idea what you just said but I think Mr. Krabs did it.
Mr. Krabs: What?! You're crazy!
Pearl: Yeah, sorry Daddy but you're acting kinda suspicious.
Mr. Krabs: Come on, Pearl! You know me! I wouldn't hurt a clam!
Sandy: You sold SpongeBob's soul for sixty two cents.
Mr. Krabs: And immediately regretted it!
Mac's Mom: He was also the one who suggested one of us killed him in the first place.
Mr. Krabs: What?!
Mac: Yeah, it's Mr. Krabs guys.
Hoopla: HOOPLA!
[Cut to the group carrying Mr. Krabs by the arms and legs and throwing him in a closet.]
Mr. Krabs: NO! WAIT! I'M INNOCENT!
SpongeBob: Phew, I'm glad that situation's taken care of. Honestly Squidward dying and all that has probably traumatized me for life so I say we just call it quits for today.
[SpongeBob tries to open the door to exit, but it's locked.]
SpongeBob: Oh, right. We're in an escape room.
Sandy: Yeah…
SpongeBob: Right…
[Pause.]
SpongeBob: Eh, I didn't want to sleep tonight anyway.
Sandy: I guess we just have to continue looking for clues.
SpongeBob: Are you crazy?! Mr. Krabs just killed Squidward and you want us to carry on with this stupid game?!
Mac: But CheeseBryan-
SpongeBob: It's SpongeBo-
Mac: -we still have to finish the challenge!
Pearl: For the last time, nobody (dolphin chirp) cares about your (dolphin chirp) video! (clenches to one of his arms) I just wanna go home…
Sandy: The door's locked SpongeBob, there's no other way out. We don't really have a choice here.
[Pause.]
SpongeBob: (sigh) I guess you're right. 
[Mac and his mom cheer.]
SpongeBob: But this time we all gotta stick together just in case anything else crazy happe- 
[Mac, his mom and Hoopla run off.]
SpongeBob: Oof. At least us four are all together, right?
Pearl: I guess. I just kinda find it hard to believe that Daddy would just kill someone like that. Sure, it's something he would do for the right price but I just don't get it.
Sandy: Come on, let's solve the puzzle to get out of here and then we'll figure something out.
Pearl: I… I just wanna be alone right now.
[Pearl runs off.]
Sandy: Pearl! Wait! (sigh) How much time do we have left to get out of here?
Patrick: Lemme check… (he looks down at a poorly drawn clock drawn on an apple tied to his wrist with masking tape) According to my apple watch we should still have around… oh wait, I can't tell the time.
Sandy: Let me have a look. (she looks over at the watch) Apparently should still have a whole fifty minutes left.
SpongeBob: I guess that still gives us plenty of time then.
Patrick: Yeah. I just hope no one else gets murdered or anything.
Pearl: (off-screen, screams) SOMEONE ELSE JUST GOT MURDERED OR SOMETHING!
[Sandy and SpongeBob give Patrick a deadpan stare.]
Patrick: What'd I do?
[The three run down the hallway to find Pearl standing next to a very dead Hoopla. Mac and his mom follow.]
Mac: Woah! What happened, guys?
Pearl: (sweating) Hoopla died!
Mac's Mom: Oh God oh frick.
SpongeBob: B- but how?! We locked up Mr. Krabs, right?
[Patrick runs further down the hallway and opens up the closet Mr. Krabs was tossed in.]
Mr. Krabs: (off-screen) Oh, Patrick! I knew you'd come back as soon as you realised I wasn't the murderer! For a second I thought I'd be trapped in here for-
[Patrick slams the door back shut on Mr. Krabs, he can still be heard rambling in the background. Patrick runs back to the others.]
Patrick: Yeah, he's locked up tight.
Mac's Mom: So then how could he have died then?!
[Pause.]
Pearl: Oh no.
Sandy: What?
Pearl: I knew it! My dad isn't the murderer after all!
SpongeBob: You mean it's still one of us?
Pearl: I think so.
[SpongeBob's teeth start chattering in fear.]
Mac: But that's impossible! We all caught him red-handed! ...or red-clawed. He has claws, not hands. That's what I meant.
Patrick: Someone's acting nervous.
Mac: Wh- what?! I'm not nervous!
Patrick: You're stuttering.
Mac: I'm not! Mom, am I st- stuttering?
Mac's Mom: No.
Mac: See? I'm not acting nervous, you're the one acting nervous, Parker.
Patrick: Who's Parker?
Mac: You are.
Patrick: I am? Huh, at least the name suits me.
Pearl: I think we've figured out who the real impostor is guys.
Sandy: (nodding in agreement) Mmm-hmm.
Mac: What?! You really think I'm the murderer now?
Sandy: Well yeah, you're a self-centered internet personality who's scared about nothing but making a clickbait video the entire time we've been in here.
Mac: Well yeah, but I wouldn't go as far as to kill someone for internet clout!
Mac's Mom: I mean, to be fair Mac, there was that infamous video you made a while ago with that dead clam.
Mac: This is not about the time with the dead clam! Back me up here, mom!
Mac's Mom: Sorry Mac, while I personally don't believe murder to be such a big deal they do have a point.
Mac: (to his camera) Ugh, I don't believe this guys! They think I'm the murderer!
Pearl: All who think it's Mac say "I".
All except Mac and Patrick: I.
Patrick: -J.
Pearl: Well that settles it.
[Everyone grabs Mac by the arms and legs.]
Mac: No! You can't do this to me! I'm famous!
Sandy: Yeah, amongst twelve year-olds.
[Everyone tosses Mac into the closet and slams the door behind him.]
Mr. Krabs: What're you in for?
Mac: (still talking to his camera) I can't believe this is happening, guys!
[Cut back to everyone standing outside the closet.]
SpongeBob: Phew, I'm glad all that's over, again. Can't we let Mr. Krabs out now that we know he's innocent though?
Pearl: Nah, now that I know he's not a serial killer I'm kinda having fun without him.
Sandy: Sq- Squidward and the other guy are dead.
Pearl: I mean apart from that whole thing happening, of course.
Mac's Mom: I'll say.
SpongeBob: Um, Ms. "Mac's Mom"? Aren't you a little fazed now that Mac killed Hoopla?
Mac's Mom: Eh, this sort of thing happens all the time to be honest. But we get paid for it so it works out.
[Everyone stares at Mac's Mom.]
Mac's Mom: What?
Sandy: Don't you feel any remorse… like, at all?
Mac's Mom: Not really.
Sandy: (sigh) Well at least we can get back to getting out of here now and doing something about Squidward and Hoopla now that the whole murder thing is over.
Patrick: Unless the (makes quotation marks with his hands) "whole murder thing" isn't over.
Pearl: What are you suggesting?
Patrick: Dear Pearl, I am merely implying that perhaps, just perhaps, there could still be an impostor among us.
Sandy: What makes you think that?
Patrick: Just a thought.
SpongeBob: (sweating, nervous) I, uh, don't really like where you're going with this, Patrick.
Patrick: Well, it's simple really. We got the murderer wrong the first time, who's to say we got it wrong the second time?
Mac's Mom: I hate to say it, but he could be right. 
SpongeBob: Guys, stop it, you're scaring me!
Pearl: Yeah, this is making me really tense. Let's just lock Patrick up just to be on the safe side.
SpongeBob: Good idea! Running away from fear always works!
[SpongeBob, Patrick and Mac's Mom lift up Patrick.]
Patrick: Wh- what are you doing?!
SpongeBob: Locking you up, murderer!
Patrick: NO! YOU GUYS ARE BLIND TO THE TRUT-
[Patrick gets thrown into the closet, with the door being slammed behind him.]
Sandy: What the heck was that for?!! You can't just lock people up without any proof! No one else even got murdered!
SpongeBob: Apart from Mac's Mom.
[Pan out to reveal Mac's Mom lying on the floor dead.]
Pearl: (screams) Holy carpfish! Not Mac's Mom! I'll miss that character. She was such a great addition to the spin-off that she doesn't even have her own name.
Sandy: How could she have died?! We were all standing here and then- (gasp) Patrick was' right! One of us is an impostor!
Pearl: But who?!!
SpongeBob: Well I know for a fact that it's not me.
Pearl: And it definitely isn't me.
SpongeBob: I mean I don't think it's me.
Pearl: He showed uncertainty! Throw him away!
[Pearl and Sandy try to lift SpongeBob up but he clings to the floor.]
SpongeBob: NO! NO! I WANT TO LIVE!
[They lift him up off the ground.]
SpongeBob: I WANT TO LIVE!!!!
[SpongeBob gets thrown into the closet too.]
Sandy: Phew. We did it! For real this time!
[Pearl starts laughing.]
Sandy: Uh… Pearl?!
[Pearl, still laughing, suddenly takes her head off, revealing that she is someone in a Pearl costume.]
Sandy: (screams) YOU'RE THE MURDERER!!
[Pan over to reveal Daddy Dandy in the Pearl costume.]
Daddy Dandy: I sure am! (laughs)
Sandy: Wait… Dandy?
Daddy Dandy: Actually it's Daddy Dandy to you but, uh, yeah it's me.
[Awkward pause.]
Sandy: So, uh… you gonna kill me or something?
Daddy Dandy: Oh no, there's no point in going through the inconvenience of killing you now. You lost the escape room by the way.
Sandy: I figured. But, um… what about everyone else?
Daddy Dandy: You mean the people I did kill? They'll be alive and kicking by the time we cut to the next scene.
Sandy: Oh, hey, for a minute there I thought they were actually gone.
Daddy Dandy: Oh no, they're not dead dead. They're just dead, there's a difference you know. So, uh, if you wouldn't mind I just have a quick five minute survey here if you wouldn't mind filling it out to let us know your honest opinion on whether or not you enjoyed the escape room. Obviously five stars would be appreciated.
[He hands Sandy a survey.]
Sandy: Oh, um, of course. Do you have a pen?
Daddy Dandy: Of course.
[He hands Sandy a Carl the Crackodile novelty mechanical multicolor pen.]
Sandy: Thanks.
Daddy Dandy: You can choose from all the colors in the rainbow, see? Only $1.99 in the gift shop!
[Sandy fills out the form and hands it back to Daddy Dandy.]
Daddy Dandy: Four stars, that's decent I guess.
Sandy: By the way, if you don't mind me asking, why do you have a costume of Pearl?
Daddy Dandy: Oh, I have costumes of most people under 18 who come to the park.
Sandy: Oh… wait-
Daddy Dandy: We should just cut to the next scene now.
Sandy: Yeah.
[Cut to SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and Pearl back in the RV.]
Squidward: Well that was a whole thing that happened.
Pearl: Sorry for accusing you of being a murderer, Daddy.
Mr. Krabs: It's fine, happens to the best of us. I'm just glad it's all over now.
Patrick: Did you enjoy being dead, Squidward?
Squidward: What kind of a question is that? Also, no. I've seen things no squid ever wants to see.
Sandy: What do you mean?
Squidward: Let's just say the afterlife isn't all it's cracked to be. There were these imps and this overly sexualised wolf thing and they ran a business based entirely on murdering people on the surface. (shivers) Gives me chills just thinking about it.
Mr. Krabs: So, uh, have we learnt anything from this experience?
Patrick: Don't watch the history channel?
SpongeBob: That's a good enough moral for me.
[Everyone laughs as the scene fades to black.]
Squidward: Wait, what's so funny?
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