Boss Fights

Boss fights are a way to unlock new features in the game and to increase your NUMBER. They use attack and defense acquired in training. HP while fighting is 10*attack, and HP regain is defense/20. After boss 20, the attack, defense and max hp will increase 10 fold with respect to previous boss.
You can instantly skip bosses with the nuke button, if you are strong enough to kill it (around 1000x the stats of a boss). Also, you might have noticed the random letters at the bottom of the story box at certain bosses. This might be important for something later. ;)
==Boss fights that unlock things==
Boss # 	Unlocks
Normal 	Normal
4 	Adventure, Tutorial Zone
7 	Sewers
17 	Forest, Augmentation
30 	Time Machine
37 	Cave of Many Things, Blood Magic
48 	The Sky
58 	High Security Base, Gordon Ramsay Bolton, Challenges
66 	Clock Dimension, Grand Corrupted Tree
74 	The 2D Universe
82 	Ancient Battlefield, Jake from Accounting
90 	A Very Strange Place
100 	Mega Lands, UUG, The Unmentionable
108 	The Beardverse
116 	Badly Drawn World, Walderp
124 	Boring-Ass Earth
132 	The Beast
137 	Chocolate World
Evil 	Evil
58 	The Evilverse
100 	Pretty Pink Princess Land
125 	Greasy Nerd
158 	Meta Land
166 	Interdimensional Party, The Godmother
174 	Typo Zonw
182 	The Fad-lands
190 	JRPGVille, The Exile
200 	The Rad-Lands
SADISTIC	SADISTIC
125 	Back To School
150 	The West World
175 	IT HUNGERS
208 	The Breadverse
216 	That 70's Zone
224 	The Halloweenies, ROCK LOBSTER
232 	Construction Zone
240 	DUCK DUCK ZONE
248 	The Nether Regions, AMALGAMATE
269 	The Aethereal Sea
296 	TIPPI THE TUTORIAL MOUSE
301 	THE TRAITOR
==Boss listing==
FTBE = First Time Beaten Ever
 
Boss #	StatsAttackDefenseHP 	Boss Name 	Exp Reward 	Reference
Boss #	Story 	Story 	Story 	Story
 	50,00040,000500,000 	A Small Piece of Fluff 	0 	
 	You shakily get to your feet, leaning against the wall for support. You have to build up your strength, somehow. From the corner of your eye you spot a small piece of fluff. This will be your first and most intense battle of your life. 	You shakily get to your feet, leaning against the wall for support. You have to build up your strength, somehow. From the corner of your eye you spot a small piece of fluff. This will be your first and most intense battle of your life. 	You shakily get to your feet, leaning against the wall for support. You have to build up your strength, somehow. From the corner of your eye you spot a small piece of fluff. This will be your first and most intense battle of your life. 	You shakily get to your feet, leaning against the wall for support. You have to build up your strength, somehow. From the corner of your eye you spot a small piece of fluff. This will be your first and most intense battle of your life.
 	100,00090,0001,000,000 	Floating Sewage 	0 	
 	You're sure that if the fluff could, it would give a dramatic death speech, but alas. You kick it off to the side, more confident in your strength. What other inanimate objects are there to murder? A piece of sewage, as if by cue, begins floating down the water, right in front of you. 	You're sure that if the fluff could, it would give a dramatic death speech, but alas. You kick it off to the side, more confident in your strength. What other inanimate objects are there to murder? A piece of sewage, as if by cue, begins floating down the water, right in front of you. 	You're sure that if the fluff could, it would give a dramatic death speech, but alas. You kick it off to the side, more confident in your strength. What other inanimate objects are there to murder? A piece of sewage, as if by cue, begins floating down the water, right in front of you. 	You're sure that if the fluff could, it would give a dramatic death speech, but alas. You kick it off to the side, more confident in your strength. What other inanimate objects are there to murder? A piece of sewage, as if by cue, begins floating down the water, right in front of you.
 	400,000350,0004,000,000 	A Stick? 	0 	
 	The sewage retreats from your onslaught of attacks. Either that or it kept floating by.... Probably your attacks though. You feel like you can manage to make your way out of here now, but a weapon would be handy. Oh hey, is that a stick coming down the water? 	The sewage retreats from your onslaught of attacks. Either that or it kept floating by.... Probably your attacks though. You feel like you can manage to make your way out of here now, but a weapon would be handy. Oh hey, is that a stick coming down the water? 	The sewage retreats from your onslaught of attacks. Either that or it kept floating by.... Probably your attacks though. You feel like you can manage to make your way out of here now, but a weapon would be handy. Oh hey, is that a stick coming down the water? 	The sewage retreats from your onslaught of attacks. Either that or it kept floating by.... Probably your attacks though. You feel like you can manage to make your way out of here now, but a weapon would be handy. Oh hey, is that a stick coming down the water?
 	1,300,000700,00013,000,000 	A Small Mouse 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	Tip the Mouse
 	As you turn to head to this 'room's exit, you notice a brown little mouse. In a shrill voice it squeaks, WELCOME to NGU Idle! I'm Tippy.. If you're alr-' tuning out this annoying mouse's intro, you're hit with a jolt of memory... a need to defeat EVERY foe in your path, no matter what. You can start with this mouse right here. 	As you turn to head to this 'room's exit, you notice a brown little mouse. In a shrill voice it squeaks, WELCOME to NGU Idle! I'm Tippy.. If you're alr-' tuning out this annoying mouse's intro, you're hit with a jolt of memory... a need to defeat EVERY foe in your path, no matter what. You can start with this mouse right here. 	As you turn to head to this 'room's exit, you notice a brown little mouse. In a shrill voice it squeaks, WELCOME to NGU Idle! I'm Tippy.. If you're alr-' tuning out this annoying mouse's intro, you're hit with a jolt of memory... a need to defeat EVERY foe in your path, no matter what. You can start with this mouse right here. 	As you turn to head to this 'room's exit, you notice a brown little mouse. In a shrill voice it squeaks, WELCOME to NGU Idle! I'm Tippy.. If you're alr-' tuning out this annoying mouse's intro, you're hit with a jolt of memory... a need to defeat EVERY foe in your path, no matter what. You can start with this mouse right here.
 	6,500,0003,500,00065,000,000 	A Slightly Bigger Mouse 	0 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	Wiping the mouse guts from between your fingers, you head off down the sewers to make your escape. Barely rounding the 2nd corner, you face your next major foe. A (slightly) bigger mouse. You know what to do. 	Wiping the mouse guts from between your fingers, you head off down the sewers to make your escape. Barely rounding the 2nd corner, you face your next major foe. A (slightly) bigger mouse. You know what to do. 	Wiping the mouse guts from between your fingers, you head off down the sewers to make your escape. Barely rounding the 2nd corner, you face your next major foe. A (slightly) bigger mouse. You know what to do. 	Wiping the mouse guts from between your fingers, you head off down the sewers to make your escape. Barely rounding the 2nd corner, you face your next major foe. A (slightly) bigger mouse. You know what to do.
 	32,500,00017,500,000325,000,000 	A Large Rat 	0 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	You start feeling lost in the identical looking passageways, dripping with all sorts of goopy brown waste. You're worrying that you'll never escape these sewers, and that every boss you face is just gonna be some variation of a rat. Cutting off your nose is starting to seem like a good idea, too. The stink... 	You start feeling lost in the identical looking passageways, dripping with all sorts of goopy brown waste. You're worrying that you'll never escape these sewers, and that every boss you face is just gonna be some variation of a rat. Cutting off your nose is starting to seem like a good idea, too. The stink... 	You start feeling lost in the identical looking passageways, dripping with all sorts of goopy brown waste. You're worrying that you'll never escape these sewers, and that every boss you face is just gonna be some variation of a rat. Cutting off your nose is starting to seem like a good idea, too. The stink... 	You start feeling lost in the identical looking passageways, dripping with all sorts of goopy brown waste. You're worrying that you'll never escape these sewers, and that every boss you face is just gonna be some variation of a rat. Cutting off your nose is starting to seem like a good idea, too. The stink...
 	162,500,00087,500,0001,625,000,000 	Brown Slime 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	Finally, you begin to feel a cool breeze from one path, and heading down it, you see a light at the end. Just before the exit, a large, menacing brown blob seeps out of the nearby walls, ready to fight... Well, it's as menacing as a blob of poo can get. 	Finally, you begin to feel a cool breeze from one path, and heading down it, you see a light at the end. Just before the exit, a large, menacing brown blob seeps out of the nearby walls, ready to fight... Well, it's as menacing as a blob of poo can get. 	Finally, you begin to feel a cool breeze from one path, and heading down it, you see a light at the end. Just before the exit, a large, menacing brown blob seeps out of the nearby walls, ready to fight... Well, it's as menacing as a blob of poo can get. 	Finally, you begin to feel a cool breeze from one path, and heading down it, you see a light at the end. Just before the exit, a large, menacing brown blob seeps out of the nearby walls, ready to fight... Well, it's as menacing as a blob of poo can get.
 	812,500,000437,500,0008,125,000,000 	Skeleton 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	Skull Trumpet
 	(You unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sewers! Go to the Adventure Feature and check it out!)
You've finally escaped, gasping, your first breaths of fresh air in who knows how long. You shield your eyes for a moment from the bright sun. Once your eyes adapt to the light, you see a gorgeous green field stretched out before you, leading up to a forest. You can feel the gloom seeping into every branch. As you approach the path leading into the forest, a spooky skeleton emerges from the ground, armed with a.. is that a trumpet? You try not to get distracted by its jazzy tunes while you smash it to dust. 	(You unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sewers! Go to the Adventure Feature and check it out!)
You've finally escaped, gasping, your first breaths of fresh air in who knows how long. You shield your eyes for a moment from the bright sun. Once your eyes adapt to the light, you see a gorgeous green field stretched out before you, leading up to a forest. You can feel the gloom seeping into every branch. As you approach the path leading into the forest, a spooky skeleton emerges from the ground, armed with a.. is that a trumpet? You try not to get distracted by its jazzy tunes while you smash it to dust. 	(You unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sewers! Go to the Adventure Feature and check it out!)
You've finally escaped, gasping, your first breaths of fresh air in who knows how long. You shield your eyes for a moment from the bright sun. Once your eyes adapt to the light, you see a gorgeous green field stretched out before you, leading up to a forest. You can feel the gloom seeping into every branch. As you approach the path leading into the forest, a spooky skeleton emerges from the ground, armed with a.. is that a trumpet? You try not to get distracted by its jazzy tunes while you smash it to dust. 	(You unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sewers! Go to the Adventure Feature and check it out!)
You've finally escaped, gasping, your first breaths of fresh air in who knows how long. You shield your eyes for a moment from the bright sun. Once your eyes adapt to the light, you see a gorgeous green field stretched out before you, leading up to a forest. You can feel the gloom seeping into every branch. As you approach the path leading into the forest, a spooky skeleton emerges from the ground, armed with a.. is that a trumpet? You try not to get distracted by its jazzy tunes while you smash it to dust.
 	4,063,000,0002,188,000,00040,625,000,000 	Goblin 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	Droop the Goblin
 	'Seek out the wizard, further on...' you hear sighing from the pulverized bone dust, now swept away by the wind. You venture past, thankful for the advice, though unsure where to go, other than deeper into this rather sinister looking forest. Before long, you sense something above you, and dart out of way just before a tiny pockmarked figure falls onto the ground where you were. 'Uh oh, Droop's in trouble!' the goblin shrieks in a gross, nasally voice. 	'Seek out the wizard, further on...' you hear sighing from the pulverized bone dust, now swept away by the wind. You venture past, thankful for the advice, though unsure where to go, other than deeper into this rather sinister looking forest. Before long, you sense something above you, and dart out of way just before a tiny pockmarked figure falls onto the ground where you were. 'Uh oh, Droop's in trouble!' the goblin shrieks in a gross, nasally voice. 	'Seek out the wizard, further on...' you hear sighing from the pulverized bone dust, now swept away by the wind. You venture past, thankful for the advice, though unsure where to go, other than deeper into this rather sinister looking forest. Before long, you sense something above you, and dart out of way just before a tiny pockmarked figure falls onto the ground where you were. 'Uh oh, Droop's in trouble!' the goblin shrieks in a gross, nasally voice. 	'Seek out the wizard, further on...' you hear sighing from the pulverized bone dust, now swept away by the wind. You venture past, thankful for the advice, though unsure where to go, other than deeper into this rather sinister looking forest. Before long, you sense something above you, and dart out of way just before a tiny pockmarked figure falls onto the ground where you were. 'Uh oh, Droop's in trouble!' the goblin shrieks in a gross, nasally voice.
 	20,313,000,00010,938,000,000203,125,000,000 	Orc 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	Your brief fight with the goblin seems to have attracted all the generic fantasy beings of this forest upon you now! This one is just as slimy-looking as the goblin, but a lot bigger. 	Your brief fight with the goblin seems to have attracted all the generic fantasy beings of this forest upon you now! This one is just as slimy-looking as the goblin, but a lot bigger. 	Your brief fight with the goblin seems to have attracted all the generic fantasy beings of this forest upon you now! This one is just as slimy-looking as the goblin, but a lot bigger. 	Your brief fight with the goblin seems to have attracted all the generic fantasy beings of this forest upon you now! This one is just as slimy-looking as the goblin, but a lot bigger.
 	101,563,000,00054,688,000,0001.016 Trillion 	Slow Zombie 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	Plants vs Zombies
 	Pushing your way through, you encounter a small clearing in the forest. You try to dash through, but barely make it halfway before rotting corpses begin clawing their way out of the earth. One weak, shuffling zombie inches towards you. Might as well have some fun, right? 	Pushing your way through, you encounter a small clearing in the forest. You try to dash through, but barely make it halfway before rotting corpses begin clawing their way out of the earth. One weak, shuffling zombie inches towards you. Might as well have some fun, right? 	Pushing your way through, you encounter a small clearing in the forest. You try to dash through, but barely make it halfway before rotting corpses begin clawing their way out of the earth. One weak, shuffling zombie inches towards you. Might as well have some fun, right? 	Pushing your way through, you encounter a small clearing in the forest. You try to dash through, but barely make it halfway before rotting corpses begin clawing their way out of the earth. One weak, shuffling zombie inches towards you. Might as well have some fun, right?
 	507,813,000,000273,438,000,0005.076 Trillion 	Fast Zombie 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	Headcrab Zombie
 	As the zombie's undead head rolls to a stop by a tree, you see another kind of zombie. A different looking one. Skinless, slim, and running on all fours, at full speed towards you. It seems to have some crab-like thing attached where its head should be. You decide it's time to stop playing around and get out of here. 	As the zombie's undead head rolls to a stop by a tree, you see another kind of zombie. A different looking one. Skinless, slim, and running on all fours, at full speed towards you. It seems to have some crab-like thing attached where its head should be. You decide it's time to stop playing around and get out of here. 	As the zombie's undead head rolls to a stop by a tree, you see another kind of zombie. A different looking one. Skinless, slim, and running on all fours, at full speed towards you. It seems to have some crab-like thing attached where its head should be. You decide it's time to stop playing around and get out of here. 	As the zombie's undead head rolls to a stop by a tree, you see another kind of zombie. A different looking one. Skinless, slim, and running on all fours, at full speed towards you. It seems to have some crab-like thing attached where its head should be. You decide it's time to stop playing around and get out of here.
 	2.539 Trillion1.367 Trillion25.39 Trillion 	Ent 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	Ent (Legendarium)
 	You haul ass and make it past the clearing, managing to shake off most of those fast charging type zombies. After putting some more distance between you and them, you take a breather against a tree... until it starts moving under you. God dammit. 	You haul ass and make it past the clearing, managing to shake off most of those fast charging type zombies. After putting some more distance between you and them, you take a breather against a tree... until it starts moving under you. God dammit. 	You haul ass and make it past the clearing, managing to shake off most of those fast charging type zombies. After putting some more distance between you and them, you take a breather against a tree... until it starts moving under you. God dammit. 	You haul ass and make it past the clearing, managing to shake off most of those fast charging type zombies. After putting some more distance between you and them, you take a breather against a tree... until it starts moving under you. God dammit.
 	12.70 Trillion6.836 Trillion127.0 Trillion 	Giant 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	Entering this forest is feeling more and more like a bad idea. Even the air is starting to 'taste' sort of odd. You strain to keep an eye on the forest path, with the haze thickening around you. You managed to keep on the path, but somehow also managed to bump right into a giant in front of you. Enjoy the fight. 	Entering this forest is feeling more and more like a bad idea. Even the air is starting to 'taste' sort of odd. You strain to keep an eye on the forest path, with the haze thickening around you. You managed to keep on the path, but somehow also managed to bump right into a giant in front of you. Enjoy the fight. 	Entering this forest is feeling more and more like a bad idea. Even the air is starting to 'taste' sort of odd. You strain to keep an eye on the forest path, with the haze thickening around you. You managed to keep on the path, but somehow also managed to bump right into a giant in front of you. Enjoy the fight. 	Entering this forest is feeling more and more like a bad idea. Even the air is starting to 'taste' sort of odd. You strain to keep an eye on the forest path, with the haze thickening around you. You managed to keep on the path, but somehow also managed to bump right into a giant in front of you. Enjoy the fight.
 	63.48 Trillion34.18 Trillion634.8 Trillion 	Rat of Unusual Size 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	R.O.U.S.
 	Oh god, the rats again. This is an unusually large one though! It looks kind of familiar, but also really pissed off, if you believed that rats could look angry. 	Oh god, the rats again. This is an unusually large one though! It looks kind of familiar, but also really pissed off, if you believed that rats could look angry. 	Oh god, the rats again. This is an unusually large one though! It looks kind of familiar, but also really pissed off, if you believed that rats could look angry. 	Oh god, the rats again. This is an unusually large one though! It looks kind of familiar, but also really pissed off, if you believed that rats could look angry.
 	317.4 Trillion170.9 Trillion3.174 Quadrillion 	Fairy 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	Navi
 	You spot a little village off in the distance, with wisps of blue and green smoke puffing from a prominent (yet ramshackle) hut. You suspect that it's the home of that wizard, or a stoner's decided to take up residence in a haunted forest. Hoping for option A, you head toward the hut, but a blueish glow to your right distracts you 'HEY, LISTE-' You've heard enough. It has to die. 	You spot a little village off in the distance, with wisps of blue and green smoke puffing from a prominent (yet ramshackle) hut. You suspect that it's the home of that wizard, or a stoner's decided to take up residence in a haunted forest. Hoping for option A, you head toward the hut, but a blueish glow to your right distracts you 'HEY, LISTE-' You've heard enough. It has to die. 	You spot a little village off in the distance, with wisps of blue and green smoke puffing from a prominent (yet ramshackle) hut. You suspect that it's the home of that wizard, or a stoner's decided to take up residence in a haunted forest. Hoping for option A, you head toward the hut, but a blueish glow to your right distracts you 'HEY, LISTE-' You've heard enough. It has to die. 	You spot a little village off in the distance, with wisps of blue and green smoke puffing from a prominent (yet ramshackle) hut. You suspect that it's the home of that wizard, or a stoner's decided to take up residence in a haunted forest. Hoping for option A, you head toward the hut, but a blueish glow to your right distracts you 'HEY, LISTE-' You've heard enough. It has to die.
 	1.587 Quadrillion854.5 Trillion15.87 Quadrillion 	Gorgon 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	The fairy falls limp and you step over its annoying little corpse. Luckily you didn't pause, because a deafening 'BOOOOOMll' rocks your ears, and the shockwave makes you stumble. looking back, you see a 6 foot wide crater where the fairy's remains once were. Turning around to view the fairy's carnage, then, turns out to be a second stroke of fortune, because you hear the unmistakable hissing of a Gorgon in front of you. The element of surprise lost, you prepare to battle this serpentine beast, while avoiding its paralyzing gaze. 	The fairy falls limp and you step over its annoying little corpse. Luckily you didn't pause, because a deafening 'BOOOOOMll' rocks your ears, and the shockwave makes you stumble. looking back, you see a 6 foot wide crater where the fairy's remains once were. Turning around to view the fairy's carnage, then, turns out to be a second stroke of fortune, because you hear the unmistakable hissing of a Gorgon in front of you. The element of surprise lost, you prepare to battle this serpentine beast, while avoiding its paralyzing gaze. 	The fairy falls limp and you step over its annoying little corpse. Luckily you didn't pause, because a deafening 'BOOOOOMll' rocks your ears, and the shockwave makes you stumble. looking back, you see a 6 foot wide crater where the fairy's remains once were. Turning around to view the fairy's carnage, then, turns out to be a second stroke of fortune, because you hear the unmistakable hissing of a Gorgon in front of you. The element of surprise lost, you prepare to battle this serpentine beast, while avoiding its paralyzing gaze. 	The fairy falls limp and you step over its annoying little corpse. Luckily you didn't pause, because a deafening 'BOOOOOMll' rocks your ears, and the shockwave makes you stumble. looking back, you see a 6 foot wide crater where the fairy's remains once were. Turning around to view the fairy's carnage, then, turns out to be a second stroke of fortune, because you hear the unmistakable hissing of a Gorgon in front of you. The element of surprise lost, you prepare to battle this serpentine beast, while avoiding its paralyzing gaze.
 	7.935 Quadrillion4.272 Quadrillion79.35 Quadrillion 	Gorgonzola 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	(Augmentation Feature unlocked! Go check it out on the Features list!)
(A new Adventure zone has been unlocked: Forest! Go to Adventure and try it out!)
Exhausted, bruised, and slightly deaf from the explosion, you hobble into this mysterious hut. And, indeed, this seems to be the home of this 'wizard', whoever he is. You see the stereotypical bubbling cauldron, various gross magical ingredients, and oddly enough, dozens of empty cans of compressed air laying around on the floor. However, the bug-eyed wizard has caught your attention, as he whoops maniacally, greeting you like an old friend. With your memory loss, you just take him at his word that you knew each other. He claims he can help you if you'd head through what he calls the 'hazy cave' just behind his home and gather 'some of that good stuff', whatever that is. Feeling unusually merciful, you agree to help, and set off into the cave 'Be prepared for anything in that cave, feller! The weird gasses in there make ya go a little loopy! And if you need a little something-something to get stronger, see Mr. Jensen just a couple houses down, he'll hook you up with some of what he calls 'augmentations'. It's weird sci-fi mumbo-jumbo, but I can't deny that it works!‘
You're put off a little by his strange warning, and overall demeanor, but decide to press on anyways. Your first breath heading inside, you immediately *know*just what the wizard meant. The air feels... light, very light. You can feel your brain doing somersaults and backflips... and that's when you see it. Another gorgon! You get locked into it's gaze, but then, it starts shifting, no it isn't a gorgon... it's a piece of gorgonzola! A line of drool from your mouth threatens to hit the cave floor, thinking about a nice panini made from this cheese, before you briefly shake it off. That's when you notice the flaming mace it's wielding. Uh oh.	(Augmentation Feature unlocked! Go check it out on the Features list!)
(A new Adventure zone has been unlocked: Forest! Go to Adventure and try it out!)
Exhausted, bruised, and slightly deaf from the explosion, you hobble into this mysterious hut. And, indeed, this seems to be the home of this 'wizard', whoever he is. You see the stereotypical bubbling cauldron, various gross magical ingredients, and oddly enough, dozens of empty cans of compressed air laying around on the floor. However, the bug-eyed wizard has caught your attention, as he whoops maniacally, greeting you like an old friend. With your memory loss, you just take him at his word that you knew each other. He claims he can help you if you'd head through what he calls the 'hazy cave' just behind his home and gather 'some of that good stuff', whatever that is. Feeling unusually merciful, you agree to help, and set off into the cave 'Be prepared for anything in that cave, feller! The weird gasses in there make ya go a little loopy! And if you need a little something-something to get stronger, see Mr. Jensen just a couple houses down, he'll hook you up with some of what he calls 'augmentations'. It's weird sci-fi mumbo-jumbo, but I can't deny that it works!‘
You're put off a little by his strange warning, and overall demeanor, but decide to press on anyways. Your first breath heading inside, you immediately *know*just what the wizard meant. The air feels... light, very light. You can feel your brain doing somersaults and backflips... and that's when you see it. Another gorgon! You get locked into it's gaze, but then, it starts shifting, no it isn't a gorgon... it's a piece of gorgonzola! A line of drool from your mouth threatens to hit the cave floor, thinking about a nice panini made from this cheese, before you briefly shake it off. That's when you notice the flaming mace it's wielding. Uh oh.	(Augmentation Feature unlocked! Go check it out on the Features list!)
(A new Adventure zone has been unlocked: Forest! Go to Adventure and try it out!)
Exhausted, bruised, and slightly deaf from the explosion, you hobble into this mysterious hut. And, indeed, this seems to be the home of this 'wizard', whoever he is. You see the stereotypical bubbling cauldron, various gross magical ingredients, and oddly enough, dozens of empty cans of compressed air laying around on the floor. However, the bug-eyed wizard has caught your attention, as he whoops maniacally, greeting you like an old friend. With your memory loss, you just take him at his word that you knew each other. He claims he can help you if you'd head through what he calls the 'hazy cave' just behind his home and gather 'some of that good stuff', whatever that is. Feeling unusually merciful, you agree to help, and set off into the cave 'Be prepared for anything in that cave, feller! The weird gasses in there make ya go a little loopy! And if you need a little something-something to get stronger, see Mr. Jensen just a couple houses down, he'll hook you up with some of what he calls 'augmentations'. It's weird sci-fi mumbo-jumbo, but I can't deny that it works!‘
You're put off a little by his strange warning, and overall demeanor, but decide to press on anyways. Your first breath heading inside, you immediately *know*just what the wizard meant. The air feels... light, very light. You can feel your brain doing somersaults and backflips... and that's when you see it. Another gorgon! You get locked into it's gaze, but then, it starts shifting, no it isn't a gorgon... it's a piece of gorgonzola! A line of drool from your mouth threatens to hit the cave floor, thinking about a nice panini made from this cheese, before you briefly shake it off. That's when you notice the flaming mace it's wielding. Uh oh.	(Augmentation Feature unlocked! Go check it out on the Features list!)
(A new Adventure zone has been unlocked: Forest! Go to Adventure and try it out!)
Exhausted, bruised, and slightly deaf from the explosion, you hobble into this mysterious hut. And, indeed, this seems to be the home of this 'wizard', whoever he is. You see the stereotypical bubbling cauldron, various gross magical ingredients, and oddly enough, dozens of empty cans of compressed air laying around on the floor. However, the bug-eyed wizard has caught your attention, as he whoops maniacally, greeting you like an old friend. With your memory loss, you just take him at his word that you knew each other. He claims he can help you if you'd head through what he calls the 'hazy cave' just behind his home and gather 'some of that good stuff', whatever that is. Feeling unusually merciful, you agree to help, and set off into the cave 'Be prepared for anything in that cave, feller! The weird gasses in there make ya go a little loopy! And if you need a little something-something to get stronger, see Mr. Jensen just a couple houses down, he'll hook you up with some of what he calls 'augmentations'. It's weird sci-fi mumbo-jumbo, but I can't deny that it works!‘
You're put off a little by his strange warning, and overall demeanor, but decide to press on anyways. Your first breath heading inside, you immediately *know*just what the wizard meant. The air feels... light, very light. You can feel your brain doing somersaults and backflips... and that's when you see it. Another gorgon! You get locked into it's gaze, but then, it starts shifting, no it isn't a gorgon... it's a piece of gorgonzola! A line of drool from your mouth threatens to hit the cave floor, thinking about a nice panini made from this cheese, before you briefly shake it off. That's when you notice the flaming mace it's wielding. Uh oh.
 	39.67 Quadrillion21.36 Quadrillion396.7 Quadrillion 	Brie 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	Yes, you're fighting sentient cheeses now. Yes, it's probably the gas. No, you should not let this cheese or anything else in this cave live. this one is armed with a massive crossbow. how is it even able to fire the damn thing? 	Yes, you're fighting sentient cheeses now. Yes, it's probably the gas. No, you should not let this cheese or anything else in this cave live. this one is armed with a massive crossbow. how is it even able to fire the damn thing? 	Yes, you're fighting sentient cheeses now. Yes, it's probably the gas. No, you should not let this cheese or anything else in this cave live. this one is armed with a massive crossbow. how is it even able to fire the damn thing? 	Yes, you're fighting sentient cheeses now. Yes, it's probably the gas. No, you should not let this cheese or anything else in this cave live. this one is armed with a massive crossbow. how is it even able to fire the damn thing?
 	198.4 Quadrillion106.8 Quadrillion1.984 Quintililon 	Gouda 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	This cheese is named after a city in Netherlands. Knowing that, this is gonna be a tough fight. 	This cheese is named after a city in Netherlands. Knowing that, this is gonna be a tough fight. 	This cheese is named after a city in Netherlands. Knowing that, this is gonna be a tough fight. 	This cheese is named after a city in Netherlands. Knowing that, this is gonna be a tough fight.
 	1.984 Quintillion1.068 Quintillion19.84 Quintillion 	Blue Cheese 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	Did you know that this stuff has MOLD in it? Gross. 	Did you know that this stuff has MOLD in it? Gross. 	Did you know that this stuff has MOLD in it? Gross. 	Did you know that this stuff has MOLD in it? Gross.
 	19.84 Quintillion10.68 Quintillion198.4 Quintillion 	Parmesan 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	You're seriously debating taking this cheese's future corpse with you to grate over some pasta. 	You're seriously debating taking this cheese's future corpse with you to grate over some pasta. 	You're seriously debating taking this cheese's future corpse with you to grate over some pasta. 	You're seriously debating taking this cheese's future corpse with you to grate over some pasta.
 	198.4 Quintillion106.8 Quintillion1.984 Sextillion 	Limburger Cheese 	1 (3 at FTBE) 	
 	OH DEAR GOD KILL IT KILL IT NOW! You double over in nausea, managing to throw up only a little bit inside your mouth. You feel you've been conned by that damnable wizard, but you're too far to back out now. 	OH DEAR GOD KILL IT KILL IT NOW! You double over in nausea, managing to throw up only a little bit inside your mouth. You feel you've been conned by that damnable wizard, but you're too far to back out now. 	OH DEAR GOD KILL IT KILL IT NOW! You double over in nausea, managing to throw up only a little bit inside your mouth. You feel you've been conned by that damnable wizard, but you're too far to back out now. 	OH DEAR GOD KILL IT KILL IT NOW! You double over in nausea, managing to throw up only a little bit inside your mouth. You feel you've been conned by that damnable wizard, but you're too far to back out now.
 	1.984 Sextillion
1.068 Sextillion19.84 Sextillion 	Mega-Rat 	1 	
 	Wait, this isn't a cheese...but you wish it was. This rat is JACKED. This is the kind of rat that eats other, smaller rats. You're not sure why it's here, in what was clearly meant to be a cheese-themed set of bosses. I mean, I guess rats eats cheese? Whatever. You've got a boss to kill. 	Wait, this isn't a cheese...but you wish it was. This rat is JACKED. This is the kind of rat that eats other, smaller rats. You're not sure why it's here, in what was clearly meant to be a cheese-themed set of bosses. I mean, I guess rats eats cheese? Whatever. You've got a boss to kill. 	Wait, this isn't a cheese...but you wish it was. This rat is JACKED. This is the kind of rat that eats other, smaller rats. You're not sure why it's here, in what was clearly meant to be a cheese-themed set of bosses. I mean, I guess rats eats cheese? Whatever. You've got a boss to kill. 	Wait, this isn't a cheese...but you wish it was. This rat is JACKED. This is the kind of rat that eats other, smaller rats. You're not sure why it's here, in what was clearly meant to be a cheese-themed set of bosses. I mean, I guess rats eats cheese? Whatever. You've got a boss to kill.
 	19.84 Sextillion10.68 Sextillion198.4 Sextillion 	Robot 	1 	
 	You hit part of the cave that descends, down, down, down... down some more... and down further still. the air feels even weirder down here, you know this wont bode well for these... 'things' you keep encountering. Oh hey look, a robot that looks straight out of 1950's comics. Totally normal.
F 	You hit part of the cave that descends, down, down, down... down some more... and down further still. the air feels even weirder down here, you know this wont bode well for these... 'things' you keep encountering. Oh hey look, a robot that looks straight out of 1950's comics. Totally normal.
F 	You hit part of the cave that descends, down, down, down... down some more... and down further still. the air feels even weirder down here, you know this wont bode well for these... 'things' you keep encountering. Oh hey look, a robot that looks straight out of 1950's comics. Totally normal.
F 	You hit part of the cave that descends, down, down, down... down some more... and down further still. the air feels even weirder down here, you know this wont bode well for these... 'things' you keep encountering. Oh hey look, a robot that looks straight out of 1950's comics. Totally normal.
F
 	198.4 Sextillion
106.8 Sextillion
1.984 Septillion 	A fluffy Chair 	1 	
 	So comfortable to sit on, though the design is so tacky. you've seen like 30, 40 million of these things. 	So comfortable to sit on, though the design is so tacky. you've seen like 30, 40 million of these things. 	So comfortable to sit on, though the design is so tacky. you've seen like 30, 40 million of these things. 	So comfortable to sit on, though the design is so tacky. you've seen like 30, 40 million of these things.
 	1.984 Septillion
1.068 Septillion
19.84 Septillion 	Couch 	1 	
 	Otherwise known as a sofa, chesterfield, lounge, love seat, daybed, divan, and oh my god it's wielding a chainsaw. That's metal AF. 	Otherwise known as a sofa, chesterfield, lounge, love seat, daybed, divan, and oh my god it's wielding a chainsaw. That's metal AF. 	Otherwise known as a sofa, chesterfield, lounge, love seat, daybed, divan, and oh my god it's wielding a chainsaw. That's metal AF. 	Otherwise known as a sofa, chesterfield, lounge, love seat, daybed, divan, and oh my god it's wielding a chainsaw. That's metal AF.
 	19.84 Septillion
10.68 Septillion
198.4 Septillion 	Floppy Mattress 	1 	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
 	Fresh from the swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta, this one's name is Zem. It's so cute, you almost kind of don't want to destroy it. But no, you really do. 	Fresh from the swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta, this one's name is Zem. It's so cute, you almost kind of don't want to destroy it. But no, you really do. 	Fresh from the swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta, this one's name is Zem. It's so cute, you almost kind of don't want to destroy it. But no, you really do. 	Fresh from the swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta, this one's name is Zem. It's so cute, you almost kind of don't want to destroy it. But no, you really do.
 	198.4 Septillion106.8 Septillion1.984 Octillion 	Evil Fridge 	1 	
 	It'll try to suck you in and freeze you to death. It's got fridge magnets with the letter 'M' 'U' 'R' 'D' E 'R' on it. Ooh, and a flyer for a buy-one-get-one-free Pizza deal! 	It'll try to suck you in and freeze you to death. It's got fridge magnets with the letter 'M' 'U' 'R' 'D' E 'R' on it. Ooh, and a flyer for a buy-one-get-one-free Pizza deal! 	It'll try to suck you in and freeze you to death. It's got fridge magnets with the letter 'M' 'U' 'R' 'D' E 'R' on it. Ooh, and a flyer for a buy-one-get-one-free Pizza deal! 	It'll try to suck you in and freeze you to death. It's got fridge magnets with the letter 'M' 'U' 'R' 'D' E 'R' on it. Ooh, and a flyer for a buy-one-get-one-free Pizza deal!
 	1.984 Octillion
1.068 Octillion
19.84 Octillion 	T-800 	1 	Terminator
 	This robot is... not so clunky as the other one. it does on about some Connor kid, you don't really know or care. Smash it to bits. 	This robot is... not so clunky as the other one. it does on about some Connor kid, you don't really know or care. Smash it to bits. 	This robot is... not so clunky as the other one. it does on about some Connor kid, you don't really know or care. Smash it to bits. 	This robot is... not so clunky as the other one. it does on about some Connor kid, you don't really know or care. Smash it to bits.
 	19.84 Octillion
10.68 Octillion
198.4 Octillion 	A Wide Screen T.V 	1 	Undertale
 	(Broken Time Machine Unlocked! Check it out on the Features Menu!)
As the bits of advanced killing machine spark and jerk disturbingly on the floor, you spot a curious little device. it looks to be a bit damaged, but you grip it in the palm of your hand and push in on the middle, you hear a click, and a feeling like you have butterflies in your stomach. in front of you, you see... a miniature you, fighting a creature from the forest. You see yourself kill it, and loot gold from its corpse. Then, the vision blurs like you're rewinding a VHS tape. You see the scene play out in front of your again, and again, and again... and each the time mini-you loots the corpse, your feel your actual pockets, here and now, lining with more gold. it takes some fiddling. but you realize you can use this device to make a pocket in time on any occasion you loot a foe, and replay it as fast as you can to repeatedly loot its body, and somehow this carries into the present... but you feel your energy being drained as you do so. Still, this will be incredibly useful to you, You grin as you stroll on, thinking of the sick home-entertainment system you could buy with this money... when you remember the kind of cave you're in. Sure enough, a raving maniacal flat-screen T.V bears down on you, razor sharp teeth promising a very bad time. At this point you've gotten everything but he kitchen sink, and you don't really care. 	(Broken Time Machine Unlocked! Check it out on the Features Menu!)
As the bits of advanced killing machine spark and jerk disturbingly on the floor, you spot a curious little device. it looks to be a bit damaged, but you grip it in the palm of your hand and push in on the middle, you hear a click, and a feeling like you have butterflies in your stomach. in front of you, you see... a miniature you, fighting a creature from the forest. You see yourself kill it, and loot gold from its corpse. Then, the vision blurs like you're rewinding a VHS tape. You see the scene play out in front of your again, and again, and again... and each the time mini-you loots the corpse, your feel your actual pockets, here and now, lining with more gold. it takes some fiddling. but you realize you can use this device to make a pocket in time on any occasion you loot a foe, and replay it as fast as you can to repeatedly loot its body, and somehow this carries into the present... but you feel your energy being drained as you do so. Still, this will be incredibly useful to you, You grin as you stroll on, thinking of the sick home-entertainment system you could buy with this money... when you remember the kind of cave you're in. Sure enough, a raving maniacal flat-screen T.V bears down on you, razor sharp teeth promising a very bad time. At this point you've gotten everything but he kitchen sink, and you don't really care. 	(Broken Time Machine Unlocked! Check it out on the Features Menu!)
As the bits of advanced killing machine spark and jerk disturbingly on the floor, you spot a curious little device. it looks to be a bit damaged, but you grip it in the palm of your hand and push in on the middle, you hear a click, and a feeling like you have butterflies in your stomach. in front of you, you see... a miniature you, fighting a creature from the forest. You see yourself kill it, and loot gold from its corpse. Then, the vision blurs like you're rewinding a VHS tape. You see the scene play out in front of your again, and again, and again... and each the time mini-you loots the corpse, your feel your actual pockets, here and now, lining with more gold. it takes some fiddling. but you realize you can use this device to make a pocket in time on any occasion you loot a foe, and replay it as fast as you can to repeatedly loot its body, and somehow this carries into the present... but you feel your energy being drained as you do so. Still, this will be incredibly useful to you, You grin as you stroll on, thinking of the sick home-entertainment system you could buy with this money... when you remember the kind of cave you're in. Sure enough, a raving maniacal flat-screen T.V bears down on you, razor sharp teeth promising a very bad time. At this point you've gotten everything but he kitchen sink, and you don't really care. 	(Broken Time Machine Unlocked! Check it out on the Features Menu!)
As the bits of advanced killing machine spark and jerk disturbingly on the floor, you spot a curious little device. it looks to be a bit damaged, but you grip it in the palm of your hand and push in on the middle, you hear a click, and a feeling like you have butterflies in your stomach. in front of you, you see... a miniature you, fighting a creature from the forest. You see yourself kill it, and loot gold from its corpse. Then, the vision blurs like you're rewinding a VHS tape. You see the scene play out in front of your again, and again, and again... and each the time mini-you loots the corpse, your feel your actual pockets, here and now, lining with more gold. it takes some fiddling. but you realize you can use this device to make a pocket in time on any occasion you loot a foe, and replay it as fast as you can to repeatedly loot its body, and somehow this carries into the present... but you feel your energy being drained as you do so. Still, this will be incredibly useful to you, You grin as you stroll on, thinking of the sick home-entertainment system you could buy with this money... when you remember the kind of cave you're in. Sure enough, a raving maniacal flat-screen T.V bears down on you, razor sharp teeth promising a very bad time. At this point you've gotten everything but he kitchen sink, and you don't really care.
 	198.4 Octillion106.8 Octillion1.984 Nonillion 	The Kitchen Sink 	1 	Idiom
 	Of course this would be next. If this is what your brain decides to hallucinate, it's a moron. 	Of course this would be next. If this is what your brain decides to hallucinate, it's a moron. 	Of course this would be next. If this is what your brain decides to hallucinate, it's a moron. 	Of course this would be next. If this is what your brain decides to hallucinate, it's a moron.
 	1.984E301.068E301.984E31 	A Giant Mole 	1 	Earthbound
 	You're so relieved to see something that isn't an appliance coming to life that you practically welcome this mole bursting in through a cave wall. he solemnly greets you. 'I know of the task set upon you, it is a noble one. But, we cannot let any traveler just come through without a trail of proving. Yes... You shall have to defeat me and my brothers, five there are in total. I will not be the easiest, nor the hardest, Third strongest am I. Prepare yourself! 	You're so relieved to see something that isn't an appliance coming to life that you practically welcome this mole bursting in through a cave wall. he solemnly greets you. 'I know of the task set upon you, it is a noble one. But, we cannot let any traveler just come through without a trail of proving. Yes... You shall have to defeat me and my brothers, five there are in total. I will not be the easiest, nor the hardest, Third strongest am I. Prepare yourself! 	You're so relieved to see something that isn't an appliance coming to life that you practically welcome this mole bursting in through a cave wall. he solemnly greets you. 'I know of the task set upon you, it is a noble one. But, we cannot let any traveler just come through without a trail of proving. Yes... You shall have to defeat me and my brothers, five there are in total. I will not be the easiest, nor the hardest, Third strongest am I. Prepare yourself! 	You're so relieved to see something that isn't an appliance coming to life that you practically welcome this mole bursting in through a cave wall. he solemnly greets you. 'I know of the task set upon you, it is a noble one. But, we cannot let any traveler just come through without a trail of proving. Yes... You shall have to defeat me and my brothers, five there are in total. I will not be the easiest, nor the hardest, Third strongest am I. Prepare yourself!
 	1.984E311.068E311.984E32 	A Second Giant Mole 	2 	Earthbound
 	As you throw down the first mole, his brother take his place 'he was hardly a challenge, but I, I am stronger. Only 2 of my brothers have bested me! 	As you throw down the first mole, his brother take his place 'he was hardly a challenge, but I, I am stronger. Only 2 of my brothers have bested me! 	As you throw down the first mole, his brother take his place 'he was hardly a challenge, but I, I am stronger. Only 2 of my brothers have bested me! 	As you throw down the first mole, his brother take his place 'he was hardly a challenge, but I, I am stronger. Only 2 of my brothers have bested me!
 	1.984E321.068E321.984E33 	A Third Giant Mole 	2 	Earthbound
 	As you throw down the second mole, another brother takes his place. 'Those 2 are weak. Now you will truly know pain, for I am the third strongest! 	As you throw down the second mole, another brother takes his place. 'Those 2 are weak. Now you will truly know pain, for I am the third strongest! 	As you throw down the second mole, another brother takes his place. 'Those 2 are weak. Now you will truly know pain, for I am the third strongest! 	As you throw down the second mole, another brother takes his place. 'Those 2 are weak. Now you will truly know pain, for I am the third strongest!
 	1.984E331.068E331.984E34 	A Fourth Giant Mole 	2 	Earthbound
 	As you throw down the third mole, yet another brother takes his place. 'You think you can take us all? We'll see, for I'm the middle strength mole among my brothers! 	As you throw down the third mole, yet another brother takes his place. 'You think you can take us all? We'll see, for I'm the middle strength mole among my brothers! 	As you throw down the third mole, yet another brother takes his place. 'You think you can take us all? We'll see, for I'm the middle strength mole among my brothers! 	As you throw down the third mole, yet another brother takes his place. 'You think you can take us all? We'll see, for I'm the middle strength mole among my brothers!
 	1.984E341.068E341.984E35 	A Fifth Giant Mole 	2 	Earthbound
 	As you throw down the fourth mole, his brother takes his place. This one wearing some funky shades and a Polo, complete with a popped collar. 'Yeah, nah, my bro's are chumps, I'm the best of them all, you'll see." The other moles start rumbling 'Chad, you're such a jerk! We agreed we'd all say we're third best!' 	As you throw down the fourth mole, his brother takes his place. This one wearing some funky shades and a Polo, complete with a popped collar. 'Yeah, nah, my bro's are chumps, I'm the best of them all, you'll see." The other moles start rumbling 'Chad, you're such a jerk! We agreed we'd all say we're third best!' 	As you throw down the fourth mole, his brother takes his place. This one wearing some funky shades and a Polo, complete with a popped collar. 'Yeah, nah, my bro's are chumps, I'm the best of them all, you'll see." The other moles start rumbling 'Chad, you're such a jerk! We agreed we'd all say we're third best!' 	As you throw down the fourth mole, his brother takes his place. This one wearing some funky shades and a Polo, complete with a popped collar. 'Yeah, nah, my bro's are chumps, I'm the best of them all, you'll see." The other moles start rumbling 'Chad, you're such a jerk! We agreed we'd all say we're third best!'
 	1.984E351.068E351.984E36 	Kid On a Cloud 	2 	Dragon Ball
 	(You've unlocked a NEW RESOURCE: Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Feature: Blood Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Cave of Many Things!)
The battered and bruised moles let you through, grumbling 'You're such a dick, Chad...‘ and you finally see your goal, a thick, blue gas pooling at the very bottom of this cave. You hold up the little metal cannister the wizard gave you, and with a 'WHOOMPH', most of the gas seems to get sucked into it. As you make your way back to the wizard's hut, you fiddle with the time machine, watching yourself kill the Gorgon over and over and looting all that cash. Ah, memories... Maybe you'll buy that village when you're done.
Before long, you claw your way back to the surface, finally able to have a moment of clarity inside your head. The wizard claps his hands and cackles with glee when he sees you've come back. 'Perfect, PERFECT, I was almost out of the stuff' Astonished, you see him turn over the cannister into his cauldron and give it a tap, some of the blue gas oozing into the mixture. He stirs one, twice, three times clockwise, and once counterclockwise, and motions for you to come over 'Now I can't solve your memory problems, but I think I know who maybe can. But first, here, take a sip. I don't know what happened to your magic powers but this should at least kickstart them!‘ It tastes like a mixture of Buckley's cough syrup, rum, and lawn clippings, but you get it down. It hardly settles into your stomach before you can feel a sensation... a magical one. Yet, it doesn't feel all that foreign to you. 'There ya go, fella, you should be able to do a few of your fancy magical tricks! I'm sure it'll come back with time. Now about the person to help ya... last oI darby heard, they were heading off to that cross-dimensional party. You know that one, flies through space and time, never stops... and free booze! You should still catch it if you hurry! Ought to be flying up in the sky still!‘
You head out the door and look up, before remembering... you can't fly! The wizard chuckles as you jump in the air uselessly ‘You've got MAGIC now, remember? Sheesh, kids these days always getting their memories in a jumble and...-' The wizards grumbles incoherently as he heads back inside. Feeling a bit ashamed, you focus really hard, start running jump.. and trip. But you don't hit the ground, instead you manage to get yourself into the air and take off! Hell yeah! Now that you're up in the air it feels second nature, swooping, doing loops. and slam head first into a yellow blur. You recover in time to see a weird kid with a tail zooming by looking as smug as can be. Time to teach him a lesson.	(You've unlocked a NEW RESOURCE: Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Feature: Blood Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Cave of Many Things!)
The battered and bruised moles let you through, grumbling 'You're such a dick, Chad...‘ and you finally see your goal, a thick, blue gas pooling at the very bottom of this cave. You hold up the little metal cannister the wizard gave you, and with a 'WHOOMPH', most of the gas seems to get sucked into it. As you make your way back to the wizard's hut, you fiddle with the time machine, watching yourself kill the Gorgon over and over and looting all that cash. Ah, memories... Maybe you'll buy that village when you're done.
Before long, you claw your way back to the surface, finally able to have a moment of clarity inside your head. The wizard claps his hands and cackles with glee when he sees you've come back. 'Perfect, PERFECT, I was almost out of the stuff' Astonished, you see him turn over the cannister into his cauldron and give it a tap, some of the blue gas oozing into the mixture. He stirs one, twice, three times clockwise, and once counterclockwise, and motions for you to come over 'Now I can't solve your memory problems, but I think I know who maybe can. But first, here, take a sip. I don't know what happened to your magic powers but this should at least kickstart them!‘ It tastes like a mixture of Buckley's cough syrup, rum, and lawn clippings, but you get it down. It hardly settles into your stomach before you can feel a sensation... a magical one. Yet, it doesn't feel all that foreign to you. 'There ya go, fella, you should be able to do a few of your fancy magical tricks! I'm sure it'll come back with time. Now about the person to help ya... last oI darby heard, they were heading off to that cross-dimensional party. You know that one, flies through space and time, never stops... and free booze! You should still catch it if you hurry! Ought to be flying up in the sky still!‘
You head out the door and look up, before remembering... you can't fly! The wizard chuckles as you jump in the air uselessly ‘You've got MAGIC now, remember? Sheesh, kids these days always getting their memories in a jumble and...-' The wizards grumbles incoherently as he heads back inside. Feeling a bit ashamed, you focus really hard, start running jump.. and trip. But you don't hit the ground, instead you manage to get yourself into the air and take off! Hell yeah! Now that you're up in the air it feels second nature, swooping, doing loops. and slam head first into a yellow blur. You recover in time to see a weird kid with a tail zooming by looking as smug as can be. Time to teach him a lesson.	(You've unlocked a NEW RESOURCE: Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Feature: Blood Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Cave of Many Things!)
The battered and bruised moles let you through, grumbling 'You're such a dick, Chad...‘ and you finally see your goal, a thick, blue gas pooling at the very bottom of this cave. You hold up the little metal cannister the wizard gave you, and with a 'WHOOMPH', most of the gas seems to get sucked into it. As you make your way back to the wizard's hut, you fiddle with the time machine, watching yourself kill the Gorgon over and over and looting all that cash. Ah, memories... Maybe you'll buy that village when you're done.
Before long, you claw your way back to the surface, finally able to have a moment of clarity inside your head. The wizard claps his hands and cackles with glee when he sees you've come back. 'Perfect, PERFECT, I was almost out of the stuff' Astonished, you see him turn over the cannister into his cauldron and give it a tap, some of the blue gas oozing into the mixture. He stirs one, twice, three times clockwise, and once counterclockwise, and motions for you to come over 'Now I can't solve your memory problems, but I think I know who maybe can. But first, here, take a sip. I don't know what happened to your magic powers but this should at least kickstart them!‘ It tastes like a mixture of Buckley's cough syrup, rum, and lawn clippings, but you get it down. It hardly settles into your stomach before you can feel a sensation... a magical one. Yet, it doesn't feel all that foreign to you. 'There ya go, fella, you should be able to do a few of your fancy magical tricks! I'm sure it'll come back with time. Now about the person to help ya... last oI darby heard, they were heading off to that cross-dimensional party. You know that one, flies through space and time, never stops... and free booze! You should still catch it if you hurry! Ought to be flying up in the sky still!‘
You head out the door and look up, before remembering... you can't fly! The wizard chuckles as you jump in the air uselessly ‘You've got MAGIC now, remember? Sheesh, kids these days always getting their memories in a jumble and...-' The wizards grumbles incoherently as he heads back inside. Feeling a bit ashamed, you focus really hard, start running jump.. and trip. But you don't hit the ground, instead you manage to get yourself into the air and take off! Hell yeah! Now that you're up in the air it feels second nature, swooping, doing loops. and slam head first into a yellow blur. You recover in time to see a weird kid with a tail zooming by looking as smug as can be. Time to teach him a lesson.	(You've unlocked a NEW RESOURCE: Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Feature: Blood Magic!)
(You've also unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Cave of Many Things!)
The battered and bruised moles let you through, grumbling 'You're such a dick, Chad...‘ and you finally see your goal, a thick, blue gas pooling at the very bottom of this cave. You hold up the little metal cannister the wizard gave you, and with a 'WHOOMPH', most of the gas seems to get sucked into it. As you make your way back to the wizard's hut, you fiddle with the time machine, watching yourself kill the Gorgon over and over and looting all that cash. Ah, memories... Maybe you'll buy that village when you're done.
Before long, you claw your way back to the surface, finally able to have a moment of clarity inside your head. The wizard claps his hands and cackles with glee when he sees you've come back. 'Perfect, PERFECT, I was almost out of the stuff' Astonished, you see him turn over the cannister into his cauldron and give it a tap, some of the blue gas oozing into the mixture. He stirs one, twice, three times clockwise, and once counterclockwise, and motions for you to come over 'Now I can't solve your memory problems, but I think I know who maybe can. But first, here, take a sip. I don't know what happened to your magic powers but this should at least kickstart them!‘ It tastes like a mixture of Buckley's cough syrup, rum, and lawn clippings, but you get it down. It hardly settles into your stomach before you can feel a sensation... a magical one. Yet, it doesn't feel all that foreign to you. 'There ya go, fella, you should be able to do a few of your fancy magical tricks! I'm sure it'll come back with time. Now about the person to help ya... last oI darby heard, they were heading off to that cross-dimensional party. You know that one, flies through space and time, never stops... and free booze! You should still catch it if you hurry! Ought to be flying up in the sky still!‘
You head out the door and look up, before remembering... you can't fly! The wizard chuckles as you jump in the air uselessly ‘You've got MAGIC now, remember? Sheesh, kids these days always getting their memories in a jumble and...-' The wizards grumbles incoherently as he heads back inside. Feeling a bit ashamed, you focus really hard, start running jump.. and trip. But you don't hit the ground, instead you manage to get yourself into the air and take off! Hell yeah! Now that you're up in the air it feels second nature, swooping, doing loops. and slam head first into a yellow blur. You recover in time to see a weird kid with a tail zooming by looking as smug as can be. Time to teach him a lesson.
 	1.984E361.068E361.984E37 	747 	2 	
 	You toss the kid off his weird cloud and take it for yourself. As much fun as it is flying on your own, this cloud goes super fast and looks cool! And now you can focus more on where to find this interdimensional party or whatever it was. But that buzzing you hear is distracting you, and growing louder. A massive 747 SCREECHES by you, The jet engines blasting out your eardrums. You push your cloud to its limit to catch up to the plane and take it out of the sky. 	You toss the kid off his weird cloud and take it for yourself. As much fun as it is flying on your own, this cloud goes super fast and looks cool! And now you can focus more on where to find this interdimensional party or whatever it was. But that buzzing you hear is distracting you, and growing louder. A massive 747 SCREECHES by you, The jet engines blasting out your eardrums. You push your cloud to its limit to catch up to the plane and take it out of the sky. 	You toss the kid off his weird cloud and take it for yourself. As much fun as it is flying on your own, this cloud goes super fast and looks cool! And now you can focus more on where to find this interdimensional party or whatever it was. But that buzzing you hear is distracting you, and growing louder. A massive 747 SCREECHES by you, The jet engines blasting out your eardrums. You push your cloud to its limit to catch up to the plane and take it out of the sky. 	You toss the kid off his weird cloud and take it for yourself. As much fun as it is flying on your own, this cloud goes super fast and looks cool! And now you can focus more on where to find this interdimensional party or whatever it was. But that buzzing you hear is distracting you, and growing louder. A massive 747 SCREECHES by you, The jet engines blasting out your eardrums. You push your cloud to its limit to catch up to the plane and take it out of the sky.
 	1.984E371.068E371.984E38 	Oriental Dragon 	2 	Dragon Ball
 	Watching the busted plane fall out of the sky brings a smile to your face, but your victory is cut short. You notice the skies darken, lightning crackling and some rocks below lifting up into the air. Suddenly a massive, green dragon bust into view before you! In one of his hands is that annoying little kid from before. 'That's the guy! For my wish, I want you to kick his ass!’ Oh crud. 	Watching the busted plane fall out of the sky brings a smile to your face, but your victory is cut short. You notice the skies darken, lightning crackling and some rocks below lifting up into the air. Suddenly a massive, green dragon bust into view before you! In one of his hands is that annoying little kid from before. 'That's the guy! For my wish, I want you to kick his ass!’ Oh crud. 	Watching the busted plane fall out of the sky brings a smile to your face, but your victory is cut short. You notice the skies darken, lightning crackling and some rocks below lifting up into the air. Suddenly a massive, green dragon bust into view before you! In one of his hands is that annoying little kid from before. 'That's the guy! For my wish, I want you to kick his ass!’ Oh crud. 	Watching the busted plane fall out of the sky brings a smile to your face, but your victory is cut short. You notice the skies darken, lightning crackling and some rocks below lifting up into the air. Suddenly a massive, green dragon bust into view before you! In one of his hands is that annoying little kid from before. 'That's the guy! For my wish, I want you to kick his ass!’ Oh crud.
 	1.984E381.068E381.984E39 	Lester 	2 	Paper Mario
 	'The dragon howls in agony and appears to dissolve into nothing, the little kid clearly shocked and upset. You rush by him, eager to make up for lost time. You make some pretty decent progress on your cloud, but after a while you notice it starting to blink, slowly, then faster and faster... this can't be good. Just then a squat little creature riding a similar cloud pulls up beside you. His has a smiley face though, and is more white than yellow. 'Ha, look who can't afford a REAL cloud, loser!‘ He shouts. 'It doesn't even last forever!' 	'The dragon howls in agony and appears to dissolve into nothing, the little kid clearly shocked and upset. You rush by him, eager to make up for lost time. You make some pretty decent progress on your cloud, but after a while you notice it starting to blink, slowly, then faster and faster... this can't be good. Just then a squat little creature riding a similar cloud pulls up beside you. His has a smiley face though, and is more white than yellow. 'Ha, look who can't afford a REAL cloud, loser!‘ He shouts. 'It doesn't even last forever!' 	'The dragon howls in agony and appears to dissolve into nothing, the little kid clearly shocked and upset. You rush by him, eager to make up for lost time. You make some pretty decent progress on your cloud, but after a while you notice it starting to blink, slowly, then faster and faster... this can't be good. Just then a squat little creature riding a similar cloud pulls up beside you. His has a smiley face though, and is more white than yellow. 'Ha, look who can't afford a REAL cloud, loser!‘ He shouts. 'It doesn't even last forever!' 	'The dragon howls in agony and appears to dissolve into nothing, the little kid clearly shocked and upset. You rush by him, eager to make up for lost time. You make some pretty decent progress on your cloud, but after a while you notice it starting to blink, slowly, then faster and faster... this can't be good. Just then a squat little creature riding a similar cloud pulls up beside you. His has a smiley face though, and is more white than yellow. 'Ha, look who can't afford a REAL cloud, loser!‘ He shouts. 'It doesn't even last forever!'
 	1.984E391.068E391.984E40 	Excitable Ninja Samurai 	2 	
 	'You're not quite sure how this samurai is flying in the air, but you think his random jerky movements have a hand in it. He's twitching constantly, muttering phrases like ' need faster energy‘ and 'coffecoffeecoffeecovfefecoffeecoffeecoffee' Just put him out of his misery.
A 	'You're not quite sure how this samurai is flying in the air, but you think his random jerky movements have a hand in it. He's twitching constantly, muttering phrases like ' need faster energy‘ and 'coffecoffeecoffeecovfefecoffeecoffeecoffee' Just put him out of his misery.
A 	'You're not quite sure how this samurai is flying in the air, but you think his random jerky movements have a hand in it. He's twitching constantly, muttering phrases like ' need faster energy‘ and 'coffecoffeecoffeecovfefecoffeecoffeecoffee' Just put him out of his misery.
A 	'You're not quite sure how this samurai is flying in the air, but you think his random jerky movements have a hand in it. He's twitching constantly, muttering phrases like ' need faster energy‘ and 'coffecoffeecoffeecovfefecoffeecoffeecoffee' Just put him out of his misery.
A
 	1.984E401.068E401.984E41 	Icarus Proudbottom 	2 	Icarus Proudbottom & The Curse of the Chocolate Fountain
 	More and more, you're feeling like learning to fly was not in any way special at all. Here comes another person soaring through the air, propelled by... oh...OH GOD NO! D: 	More and more, you're feeling like learning to fly was not in any way special at all. Here comes another person soaring through the air, propelled by... oh...OH GOD NO! D: 	More and more, you're feeling like learning to fly was not in any way special at all. Here comes another person soaring through the air, propelled by... oh...OH GOD NO! D: 	More and more, you're feeling like learning to fly was not in any way special at all. Here comes another person soaring through the air, propelled by... oh...OH GOD NO! D:
 	1.984E411.068E411.984E42 	Gigantic Flock of Seagulls 	3 	Flock of Seagulls
 	Icarus careens out of control and slams in the countryside, leaving you to dodge the last of his 'boom - booms'. You breathe a sigh of relief from having avoided a fecal catastrophe, when you realize you've run smack—dab in the middle of a flock of 5,663 seagulls. You're gonna have to fight your way out. 	Icarus careens out of control and slams in the countryside, leaving you to dodge the last of his 'boom - booms'. You breathe a sigh of relief from having avoided a fecal catastrophe, when you realize you've run smack—dab in the middle of a flock of 5,663 seagulls. You're gonna have to fight your way out. 	Icarus careens out of control and slams in the countryside, leaving you to dodge the last of his 'boom - booms'. You breathe a sigh of relief from having avoided a fecal catastrophe, when you realize you've run smack—dab in the middle of a flock of 5,663 seagulls. You're gonna have to fight your way out. 	Icarus careens out of control and slams in the countryside, leaving you to dodge the last of his 'boom - booms'. You breathe a sigh of relief from having avoided a fecal catastrophe, when you realize you've run smack—dab in the middle of a flock of 5,663 seagulls. You're gonna have to fight your way out.
 	1.984E421.068E421.984E43 	Gigantic Flock of Canada Geese 	3 	
 	After that last battle all I can say is, you've been defiled. You had to take a dive into the water out of desperation to get clean. SO. MUCH. BIRD POOP. As you soar back up to the skies, the wind drying your hair. You hear an eerie silence, like you‘re in the eye of a hurricane. That's when you realize... you've flown into a flock of Canadian Geese: the most vicious, murderous, avian menaces to curse the skies. God have mercy on your soul. 	After that last battle all I can say is, you've been defiled. You had to take a dive into the water out of desperation to get clean. SO. MUCH. BIRD POOP. As you soar back up to the skies, the wind drying your hair. You hear an eerie silence, like you‘re in the eye of a hurricane. That's when you realize... you've flown into a flock of Canadian Geese: the most vicious, murderous, avian menaces to curse the skies. God have mercy on your soul. 	After that last battle all I can say is, you've been defiled. You had to take a dive into the water out of desperation to get clean. SO. MUCH. BIRD POOP. As you soar back up to the skies, the wind drying your hair. You hear an eerie silence, like you‘re in the eye of a hurricane. That's when you realize... you've flown into a flock of Canadian Geese: the most vicious, murderous, avian menaces to curse the skies. God have mercy on your soul. 	After that last battle all I can say is, you've been defiled. You had to take a dive into the water out of desperation to get clean. SO. MUCH. BIRD POOP. As you soar back up to the skies, the wind drying your hair. You hear an eerie silence, like you‘re in the eye of a hurricane. That's when you realize... you've flown into a flock of Canadian Geese: the most vicious, murderous, avian menaces to curse the skies. God have mercy on your soul.
 	1.984E431.068E431.984E44 	A Weird Two-Headed Guy 	3 	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
 	The skies begin to darken by the time you recover from your last run-in, and you see a magnificent sunset off over the water. However, what really catches your attention is the faint multicolour lights off in the distance... that might be the interdimensional party! However, as you're about to take off, something very improbable happens - a spaceship winks into existence right on your toes! You yank your foot out from beneath and hop around, cursing, when you see a figure emerge from the ship, with two heads. One seem crazy, the other... crazier. 'Hey there fella, which way to the party?‘ You‘ve already got an answer prepared. 	The skies begin to darken by the time you recover from your last run-in, and you see a magnificent sunset off over the water. However, what really catches your attention is the faint multicolour lights off in the distance... that might be the interdimensional party! However, as you're about to take off, something very improbable happens - a spaceship winks into existence right on your toes! You yank your foot out from beneath and hop around, cursing, when you see a figure emerge from the ship, with two heads. One seem crazy, the other... crazier. 'Hey there fella, which way to the party?‘ You‘ve already got an answer prepared. 	The skies begin to darken by the time you recover from your last run-in, and you see a magnificent sunset off over the water. However, what really catches your attention is the faint multicolour lights off in the distance... that might be the interdimensional party! However, as you're about to take off, something very improbable happens - a spaceship winks into existence right on your toes! You yank your foot out from beneath and hop around, cursing, when you see a figure emerge from the ship, with two heads. One seem crazy, the other... crazier. 'Hey there fella, which way to the party?‘ You‘ve already got an answer prepared. 	The skies begin to darken by the time you recover from your last run-in, and you see a magnificent sunset off over the water. However, what really catches your attention is the faint multicolour lights off in the distance... that might be the interdimensional party! However, as you're about to take off, something very improbable happens - a spaceship winks into existence right on your toes! You yank your foot out from beneath and hop around, cursing, when you see a figure emerge from the ship, with two heads. One seem crazy, the other... crazier. 'Hey there fella, which way to the party?‘ You‘ve already got an answer prepared.
 	1.984E441.068E441.984E45 	A Bird Person 	3 	Rick and Morty Sesame Street
 	You beat up the two-headed guy and leave him with his stupid ship, heading off to those coloured lights. As you get closer you hear muffled party music - an encouraging sign! You zoom forward, but a screech from above startles you, and you see a half-man, half bird swoop down and fly beside you. 'Greetings. Are you also headed to the interdimensional Party? If so I will give you a friendly warning: you will need your invitation on hand when you get to the door. Just like mine is here.‘
He pulls out a large foil card from a side pouch. 'You cannot hope to enter without one of these.‘ 
Well then. 	You beat up the two-headed guy and leave him with his stupid ship, heading off to those coloured lights. As you get closer you hear muffled party music - an encouraging sign! You zoom forward, but a screech from above startles you, and you see a half-man, half bird swoop down and fly beside you. 'Greetings. Are you also headed to the interdimensional Party? If so I will give you a friendly warning: you will need your invitation on hand when you get to the door. Just like mine is here.‘
He pulls out a large foil card from a side pouch. 'You cannot hope to enter without one of these.‘ 
Well then. 	You beat up the two-headed guy and leave him with his stupid ship, heading off to those coloured lights. As you get closer you hear muffled party music - an encouraging sign! You zoom forward, but a screech from above startles you, and you see a half-man, half bird swoop down and fly beside you. 'Greetings. Are you also headed to the interdimensional Party? If so I will give you a friendly warning: you will need your invitation on hand when you get to the door. Just like mine is here.‘
He pulls out a large foil card from a side pouch. 'You cannot hope to enter without one of these.‘ 
Well then. 	You beat up the two-headed guy and leave him with his stupid ship, heading off to those coloured lights. As you get closer you hear muffled party music - an encouraging sign! You zoom forward, but a screech from above startles you, and you see a half-man, half bird swoop down and fly beside you. 'Greetings. Are you also headed to the interdimensional Party? If so I will give you a friendly warning: you will need your invitation on hand when you get to the door. Just like mine is here.‘
He pulls out a large foil card from a side pouch. 'You cannot hope to enter without one of these.‘ 
Well then.
 	1.984E451.068E451.984E46 	The Bouncer 	3 	
 	You take the time to loot the invitation card from the Bird Person, as well as his feathers, to sort of look like the picture on the card. Kind of a dick move, but you gotta get in to this party! When you finally get close, you see that the 'party' is a gigantic floating chunk of rock with a building on it, hurtling through the air. Some fancy gadgetry below seems to allow the party to fly through the skies and space, and presumably travel through dimensions.
You fly around the party until you spot the entrance, a small section of jutting out rock complete with valet parking! There's also a carpet rolled out with a line already formed to get in. You disembark from your cloud and hand it off to some greasy-looking valet, and get in line. You see what looks like 300 lbs of hamburger meat stuffed into a suit before realizing that it must be the bouncer. 15 minutes passes as you tap your foot impatiently, with all manner of people, creatures, and gross squid monsters being checked in. Finally, it's your turn, and you hand the invitation over. The bouncer scans the card, then you, and with an expressionless face says 'denied, DNA samples don't match' How were you supposed to know the card has DNA TESTING of all things? Well, time to get in the old fashioned way. 	You take the time to loot the invitation card from the Bird Person, as well as his feathers, to sort of look like the picture on the card. Kind of a dick move, but you gotta get in to this party! When you finally get close, you see that the 'party' is a gigantic floating chunk of rock with a building on it, hurtling through the air. Some fancy gadgetry below seems to allow the party to fly through the skies and space, and presumably travel through dimensions.
You fly around the party until you spot the entrance, a small section of jutting out rock complete with valet parking! There's also a carpet rolled out with a line already formed to get in. You disembark from your cloud and hand it off to some greasy-looking valet, and get in line. You see what looks like 300 lbs of hamburger meat stuffed into a suit before realizing that it must be the bouncer. 15 minutes passes as you tap your foot impatiently, with all manner of people, creatures, and gross squid monsters being checked in. Finally, it's your turn, and you hand the invitation over. The bouncer scans the card, then you, and with an expressionless face says 'denied, DNA samples don't match' How were you supposed to know the card has DNA TESTING of all things? Well, time to get in the old fashioned way. 	You take the time to loot the invitation card from the Bird Person, as well as his feathers, to sort of look like the picture on the card. Kind of a dick move, but you gotta get in to this party! When you finally get close, you see that the 'party' is a gigantic floating chunk of rock with a building on it, hurtling through the air. Some fancy gadgetry below seems to allow the party to fly through the skies and space, and presumably travel through dimensions.
You fly around the party until you spot the entrance, a small section of jutting out rock complete with valet parking! There's also a carpet rolled out with a line already formed to get in. You disembark from your cloud and hand it off to some greasy-looking valet, and get in line. You see what looks like 300 lbs of hamburger meat stuffed into a suit before realizing that it must be the bouncer. 15 minutes passes as you tap your foot impatiently, with all manner of people, creatures, and gross squid monsters being checked in. Finally, it's your turn, and you hand the invitation over. The bouncer scans the card, then you, and with an expressionless face says 'denied, DNA samples don't match' How were you supposed to know the card has DNA TESTING of all things? Well, time to get in the old fashioned way. 	You take the time to loot the invitation card from the Bird Person, as well as his feathers, to sort of look like the picture on the card. Kind of a dick move, but you gotta get in to this party! When you finally get close, you see that the 'party' is a gigantic floating chunk of rock with a building on it, hurtling through the air. Some fancy gadgetry below seems to allow the party to fly through the skies and space, and presumably travel through dimensions.
You fly around the party until you spot the entrance, a small section of jutting out rock complete with valet parking! There's also a carpet rolled out with a line already formed to get in. You disembark from your cloud and hand it off to some greasy-looking valet, and get in line. You see what looks like 300 lbs of hamburger meat stuffed into a suit before realizing that it must be the bouncer. 15 minutes passes as you tap your foot impatiently, with all manner of people, creatures, and gross squid monsters being checked in. Finally, it's your turn, and you hand the invitation over. The bouncer scans the card, then you, and with an expressionless face says 'denied, DNA samples don't match' How were you supposed to know the card has DNA TESTING of all things? Well, time to get in the old fashioned way.
 	1.984E461.068E461.984E47 	Hooloovoo 	3 	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
 	(You've unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sky!)
Finally, you're in! The music is deafening, and you see a huge variety of beings here. You head over to the open bar and get a shot of some rum; it's been a LONG day and you need a quick moment to relax. You strike up a chat with a man beside you in a grey suit, talking about some sort of playhouse he runs. You tell about the time you beat up a kid and stole his cloud. He seems not so impressed.
The guy to your other side, though seems to have overheard your tale and chuckles. 'Oh man, that's freakin' hilarious. So, I hear you‘re looking for me? Can't say I'm looking for you, not since that party over on Betel-*burrrp*-geuse III when you stole my Kalaxian crystals, snorted the set, and then decided to make the planet's core- *beeelllch*- explode.‘ When you give him a blank stare he looks a little confused, before saying 'Oh riight, they got a hold of you didn't *beeelch* they?‘ Surprised they didn't just end you there and then, they've been trying for how many years to get you?‘ Well, looks like they royally screwed up since you're cIe-*burrrp*-arly back to your old ways. Did they think memory erasing would change that? Idiots. Tell you what, you help me on a little mission after this party, and I'll call it even, maybe help you with your memory pro- *beeelch*-blem.'
You spend the rest of your time partying it up with this spiky-haired guy, doing shots of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, teaming up with him to defeat Bob Ross and Mr Rogers in 4 dimensional beer pong, and performing triple backflip dives into an indoor pool. You pay for it all come the next morning, but it was worth it. The spiky-haired guy finds you getting a big glass of water 'Killer party but we really gotta go -*burrrp*- now if you still wanna come.‘ You say a quick farewell to those you met and head off. The spiky-haired guy pulls out some weird device and shoots a green portal into a random wall. 'And awayyyyy we go!'. You step through with him and immediately have to shut your eyes from the intense BLUENESS of this world. You keep squinting and blinking as your eyes try to adjust. 'Just give me a hot minute to scan this planet.‘ You see a very blue blob float over to you two, and as it gets closer you feel a sense of overwhelming anger exuding off of it. Your friend doesn't seem to notice, or care that he's about to be attacked. Crap.	(You've unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sky!)
Finally, you're in! The music is deafening, and you see a huge variety of beings here. You head over to the open bar and get a shot of some rum; it's been a LONG day and you need a quick moment to relax. You strike up a chat with a man beside you in a grey suit, talking about some sort of playhouse he runs. You tell about the time you beat up a kid and stole his cloud. He seems not so impressed.
The guy to your other side, though seems to have overheard your tale and chuckles. 'Oh man, that's freakin' hilarious. So, I hear you‘re looking for me? Can't say I'm looking for you, not since that party over on Betel-*burrrp*-geuse III when you stole my Kalaxian crystals, snorted the set, and then decided to make the planet's core- *beeelllch*- explode.‘ When you give him a blank stare he looks a little confused, before saying 'Oh riight, they got a hold of you didn't *beeelch* they?‘ Surprised they didn't just end you there and then, they've been trying for how many years to get you?‘ Well, looks like they royally screwed up since you're cIe-*burrrp*-arly back to your old ways. Did they think memory erasing would change that? Idiots. Tell you what, you help me on a little mission after this party, and I'll call it even, maybe help you with your memory pro- *beeelch*-blem.'
You spend the rest of your time partying it up with this spiky-haired guy, doing shots of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, teaming up with him to defeat Bob Ross and Mr Rogers in 4 dimensional beer pong, and performing triple backflip dives into an indoor pool. You pay for it all come the next morning, but it was worth it. The spiky-haired guy finds you getting a big glass of water 'Killer party but we really gotta go -*burrrp*- now if you still wanna come.‘ You say a quick farewell to those you met and head off. The spiky-haired guy pulls out some weird device and shoots a green portal into a random wall. 'And awayyyyy we go!'. You step through with him and immediately have to shut your eyes from the intense BLUENESS of this world. You keep squinting and blinking as your eyes try to adjust. 'Just give me a hot minute to scan this planet.‘ You see a very blue blob float over to you two, and as it gets closer you feel a sense of overwhelming anger exuding off of it. Your friend doesn't seem to notice, or care that he's about to be attacked. Crap.	(You've unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sky!)
Finally, you're in! The music is deafening, and you see a huge variety of beings here. You head over to the open bar and get a shot of some rum; it's been a LONG day and you need a quick moment to relax. You strike up a chat with a man beside you in a grey suit, talking about some sort of playhouse he runs. You tell about the time you beat up a kid and stole his cloud. He seems not so impressed.
The guy to your other side, though seems to have overheard your tale and chuckles. 'Oh man, that's freakin' hilarious. So, I hear you‘re looking for me? Can't say I'm looking for you, not since that party over on Betel-*burrrp*-geuse III when you stole my Kalaxian crystals, snorted the set, and then decided to make the planet's core- *beeelllch*- explode.‘ When you give him a blank stare he looks a little confused, before saying 'Oh riight, they got a hold of you didn't *beeelch* they?‘ Surprised they didn't just end you there and then, they've been trying for how many years to get you?‘ Well, looks like they royally screwed up since you're cIe-*burrrp*-arly back to your old ways. Did they think memory erasing would change that? Idiots. Tell you what, you help me on a little mission after this party, and I'll call it even, maybe help you with your memory pro- *beeelch*-blem.'
You spend the rest of your time partying it up with this spiky-haired guy, doing shots of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, teaming up with him to defeat Bob Ross and Mr Rogers in 4 dimensional beer pong, and performing triple backflip dives into an indoor pool. You pay for it all come the next morning, but it was worth it. The spiky-haired guy finds you getting a big glass of water 'Killer party but we really gotta go -*burrrp*- now if you still wanna come.‘ You say a quick farewell to those you met and head off. The spiky-haired guy pulls out some weird device and shoots a green portal into a random wall. 'And awayyyyy we go!'. You step through with him and immediately have to shut your eyes from the intense BLUENESS of this world. You keep squinting and blinking as your eyes try to adjust. 'Just give me a hot minute to scan this planet.‘ You see a very blue blob float over to you two, and as it gets closer you feel a sense of overwhelming anger exuding off of it. Your friend doesn't seem to notice, or care that he's about to be attacked. Crap.	(You've unlocked a new Adventure Zone: The Sky!)
Finally, you're in! The music is deafening, and you see a huge variety of beings here. You head over to the open bar and get a shot of some rum; it's been a LONG day and you need a quick moment to relax. You strike up a chat with a man beside you in a grey suit, talking about some sort of playhouse he runs. You tell about the time you beat up a kid and stole his cloud. He seems not so impressed.
The guy to your other side, though seems to have overheard your tale and chuckles. 'Oh man, that's freakin' hilarious. So, I hear you‘re looking for me? Can't say I'm looking for you, not since that party over on Betel-*burrrp*-geuse III when you stole my Kalaxian crystals, snorted the set, and then decided to make the planet's core- *beeelllch*- explode.‘ When you give him a blank stare he looks a little confused, before saying 'Oh riight, they got a hold of you didn't *beeelch* they?‘ Surprised they didn't just end you there and then, they've been trying for how many years to get you?‘ Well, looks like they royally screwed up since you're cIe-*burrrp*-arly back to your old ways. Did they think memory erasing would change that? Idiots. Tell you what, you help me on a little mission after this party, and I'll call it even, maybe help you with your memory pro- *beeelch*-blem.'
You spend the rest of your time partying it up with this spiky-haired guy, doing shots of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, teaming up with him to defeat Bob Ross and Mr Rogers in 4 dimensional beer pong, and performing triple backflip dives into an indoor pool. You pay for it all come the next morning, but it was worth it. The spiky-haired guy finds you getting a big glass of water 'Killer party but we really gotta go -*burrrp*- now if you still wanna come.‘ You say a quick farewell to those you met and head off. The spiky-haired guy pulls out some weird device and shoots a green portal into a random wall. 'And awayyyyy we go!'. You step through with him and immediately have to shut your eyes from the intense BLUENESS of this world. You keep squinting and blinking as your eyes try to adjust. 'Just give me a hot minute to scan this planet.‘ You see a very blue blob float over to you two, and as it gets closer you feel a sense of overwhelming anger exuding off of it. Your friend doesn't seem to notice, or care that he's about to be attacked. Crap.
 	1.984E471.068E471.984E48 	Gross Green Alien 	3 	Lrrr from Futurama
 	‘Nope, nothing here. NEXT!‘ Your friend shoots another green blob onto the ground and hops in. You follow suit. This world, or universe, or whatever, is really swampy and green. The air smells absolutely disgusting. Like infinite farts in a soiled diaper. You walk with the man scans around 'No dice, NEXT!‘ As your turn to go, you see the swamp bubble and a gigantic, caped creature emerges 'WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTRUSION! I WILL DESTROY YOU!‘ 	‘Nope, nothing here. NEXT!‘ Your friend shoots another green blob onto the ground and hops in. You follow suit. This world, or universe, or whatever, is really swampy and green. The air smells absolutely disgusting. Like infinite farts in a soiled diaper. You walk with the man scans around 'No dice, NEXT!‘ As your turn to go, you see the swamp bubble and a gigantic, caped creature emerges 'WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTRUSION! I WILL DESTROY YOU!‘ 	‘Nope, nothing here. NEXT!‘ Your friend shoots another green blob onto the ground and hops in. You follow suit. This world, or universe, or whatever, is really swampy and green. The air smells absolutely disgusting. Like infinite farts in a soiled diaper. You walk with the man scans around 'No dice, NEXT!‘ As your turn to go, you see the swamp bubble and a gigantic, caped creature emerges 'WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTRUSION! I WILL DESTROY YOU!‘ 	‘Nope, nothing here. NEXT!‘ Your friend shoots another green blob onto the ground and hops in. You follow suit. This world, or universe, or whatever, is really swampy and green. The air smells absolutely disgusting. Like infinite farts in a soiled diaper. You walk with the man scans around 'No dice, NEXT!‘ As your turn to go, you see the swamp bubble and a gigantic, caped creature emerges 'WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTRUSION! I WILL DESTROY YOU!‘
 	1.984E481.068E481.984E49 	The Rat God 	3 	Rap God (song by Eminem)
 	You fight off the weird alien long enough to retreat into the portal. This time you're in a fantastic world, the completely opposite of the last one. The sky is clear, the perfect temperature, and you see a group of gorgeous women approach you both 'Welcome travelers. Please stay and enjoy our co-' ‘ Ah crap, wrong setting, gotta go!‘ You protest as the man drags you into yet another portal.
This time you're back in what looks to be the sewers, though much bigger. A hulking BEAST of a rat emerges from a grate at the other end. Lasers shoot out of its eyes whenever it looks, And it appears to have cruise missiles mounted onto its back. This is not a rat to screw with. 	You fight off the weird alien long enough to retreat into the portal. This time you're in a fantastic world, the completely opposite of the last one. The sky is clear, the perfect temperature, and you see a group of gorgeous women approach you both 'Welcome travelers. Please stay and enjoy our co-' ‘ Ah crap, wrong setting, gotta go!‘ You protest as the man drags you into yet another portal.
This time you're back in what looks to be the sewers, though much bigger. A hulking BEAST of a rat emerges from a grate at the other end. Lasers shoot out of its eyes whenever it looks, And it appears to have cruise missiles mounted onto its back. This is not a rat to screw with. 	You fight off the weird alien long enough to retreat into the portal. This time you're in a fantastic world, the completely opposite of the last one. The sky is clear, the perfect temperature, and you see a group of gorgeous women approach you both 'Welcome travelers. Please stay and enjoy our co-' ‘ Ah crap, wrong setting, gotta go!‘ You protest as the man drags you into yet another portal.
This time you're back in what looks to be the sewers, though much bigger. A hulking BEAST of a rat emerges from a grate at the other end. Lasers shoot out of its eyes whenever it looks, And it appears to have cruise missiles mounted onto its back. This is not a rat to screw with. 	You fight off the weird alien long enough to retreat into the portal. This time you're in a fantastic world, the completely opposite of the last one. The sky is clear, the perfect temperature, and you see a group of gorgeous women approach you both 'Welcome travelers. Please stay and enjoy our co-' ‘ Ah crap, wrong setting, gotta go!‘ You protest as the man drags you into yet another portal.
This time you're back in what looks to be the sewers, though much bigger. A hulking BEAST of a rat emerges from a grate at the other end. Lasers shoot out of its eyes whenever it looks, And it appears to have cruise missiles mounted onto its back. This is not a rat to screw with.
 	1.984E491.068E491.984E50 	Massive Plant Monster 	3 	Terraria (Plantera)
 	You throw down the Rat, to thunderous applause from around the ring. You didn't notice before but you had thousands upon thousands of rats watching your fight. 'Not here either. Let's go!‘ The spiky haired man yanks you through yet another portal... and you immediately fall into a cradle of vines with him.'Crap i placed us about 80 feet above where we were meant to go.’ Suddenly, the vines curl and from the trees emerges a giant plant bulb, opening up to reveal 30 rows of razor sharp teeth. You're very much regretting coming along with this man. 	You throw down the Rat, to thunderous applause from around the ring. You didn't notice before but you had thousands upon thousands of rats watching your fight. 'Not here either. Let's go!‘ The spiky haired man yanks you through yet another portal... and you immediately fall into a cradle of vines with him.'Crap i placed us about 80 feet above where we were meant to go.’ Suddenly, the vines curl and from the trees emerges a giant plant bulb, opening up to reveal 30 rows of razor sharp teeth. You're very much regretting coming along with this man. 	You throw down the Rat, to thunderous applause from around the ring. You didn't notice before but you had thousands upon thousands of rats watching your fight. 'Not here either. Let's go!‘ The spiky haired man yanks you through yet another portal... and you immediately fall into a cradle of vines with him.'Crap i placed us about 80 feet above where we were meant to go.’ Suddenly, the vines curl and from the trees emerges a giant plant bulb, opening up to reveal 30 rows of razor sharp teeth. You're very much regretting coming along with this man. 	You throw down the Rat, to thunderous applause from around the ring. You didn't notice before but you had thousands upon thousands of rats watching your fight. 'Not here either. Let's go!‘ The spiky haired man yanks you through yet another portal... and you immediately fall into a cradle of vines with him.'Crap i placed us about 80 feet above where we were meant to go.’ Suddenly, the vines curl and from the trees emerges a giant plant bulb, opening up to reveal 30 rows of razor sharp teeth. You're very much regretting coming along with this man.
 	1.984E501.068E501.984E51 	High Security Insect Guard 1 	3 	Rick and Morty
 	You manage to hold off the plant beast long enough for your companion to take out a fancy grenade, pull the pin, and toss it into the monster's mouth. After a moment, napalm spouts of its maw, and it falls to the ground. The vines slink away and drop you gently on to the ground. Your companion casually tosses another portal out, as if you hadn't just nearly been eaten by a giant plant. 'Still not right. Moving on!‘
This time, you plop down in the middle of an atrium to some sort of organization. Alarms are immediately going off, and a pair of armed insect—creatures aim at you. 'Freeze, Bagscum! Wait I messed up my line can we repeat that?’ Your companion instead chooses to run, and their guns follow him. This is your chance! 	You manage to hold off the plant beast long enough for your companion to take out a fancy grenade, pull the pin, and toss it into the monster's mouth. After a moment, napalm spouts of its maw, and it falls to the ground. The vines slink away and drop you gently on to the ground. Your companion casually tosses another portal out, as if you hadn't just nearly been eaten by a giant plant. 'Still not right. Moving on!‘
This time, you plop down in the middle of an atrium to some sort of organization. Alarms are immediately going off, and a pair of armed insect—creatures aim at you. 'Freeze, Bagscum! Wait I messed up my line can we repeat that?’ Your companion instead chooses to run, and their guns follow him. This is your chance! 	You manage to hold off the plant beast long enough for your companion to take out a fancy grenade, pull the pin, and toss it into the monster's mouth. After a moment, napalm spouts of its maw, and it falls to the ground. The vines slink away and drop you gently on to the ground. Your companion casually tosses another portal out, as if you hadn't just nearly been eaten by a giant plant. 'Still not right. Moving on!‘
This time, you plop down in the middle of an atrium to some sort of organization. Alarms are immediately going off, and a pair of armed insect—creatures aim at you. 'Freeze, Bagscum! Wait I messed up my line can we repeat that?’ Your companion instead chooses to run, and their guns follow him. This is your chance! 	You manage to hold off the plant beast long enough for your companion to take out a fancy grenade, pull the pin, and toss it into the monster's mouth. After a moment, napalm spouts of its maw, and it falls to the ground. The vines slink away and drop you gently on to the ground. Your companion casually tosses another portal out, as if you hadn't just nearly been eaten by a giant plant. 'Still not right. Moving on!‘
This time, you plop down in the middle of an atrium to some sort of organization. Alarms are immediately going off, and a pair of armed insect—creatures aim at you. 'Freeze, Bagscum! Wait I messed up my line can we repeat that?’ Your companion instead chooses to run, and their guns follow him. This is your chance!
 	1.984E511.068E511.984E52 	High Security Insect Guard 2 	4 	Rick and Morty
 	The one guard folds immediately to your attacks, and you turn to take out the other. 	The one guard folds immediately to your attacks, and you turn to take out the other. 	The one guard folds immediately to your attacks, and you turn to take out the other. 	The one guard folds immediately to your attacks, and you turn to take out the other.
 	1.984E521.068E521.984E53 	The Experiment 	4 	
 	The other guard falls and you rush to catch up to your companion. You follow him down this hall and that, this time it feels with a purpose. You enter a large room with a bunch of funky lab equipment, and in a vat, you're not quite sure what. Your companion pulls out a laser gun and shoot the vat, releasing the creature. It immediately wakes up, and wreaks havoc on all the insect scientists and guards, ripping them in half in his bear hands. No, it really looks like actual bear hands. Looking for more victims, it turns to you two. 'Uh oh.' you hear your companion say. 	The other guard falls and you rush to catch up to your companion. You follow him down this hall and that, this time it feels with a purpose. You enter a large room with a bunch of funky lab equipment, and in a vat, you're not quite sure what. Your companion pulls out a laser gun and shoot the vat, releasing the creature. It immediately wakes up, and wreaks havoc on all the insect scientists and guards, ripping them in half in his bear hands. No, it really looks like actual bear hands. Looking for more victims, it turns to you two. 'Uh oh.' you hear your companion say. 	The other guard falls and you rush to catch up to your companion. You follow him down this hall and that, this time it feels with a purpose. You enter a large room with a bunch of funky lab equipment, and in a vat, you're not quite sure what. Your companion pulls out a laser gun and shoot the vat, releasing the creature. It immediately wakes up, and wreaks havoc on all the insect scientists and guards, ripping them in half in his bear hands. No, it really looks like actual bear hands. Looking for more victims, it turns to you two. 'Uh oh.' you hear your companion say. 	The other guard falls and you rush to catch up to your companion. You follow him down this hall and that, this time it feels with a purpose. You enter a large room with a bunch of funky lab equipment, and in a vat, you're not quite sure what. Your companion pulls out a laser gun and shoot the vat, releasing the creature. It immediately wakes up, and wreaks havoc on all the insect scientists and guards, ripping them in half in his bear hands. No, it really looks like actual bear hands. Looking for more victims, it turns to you two. 'Uh oh.' you hear your companion say.
 	1.984E531.068E531.984E54 	A Whole Lotta Guards 	4 	
 	'Haha, yeah, totally didn't think the crazy vat experiment guy would be on my side after freeing him, nope...‘ He pushes through the carnage, with you tagging along yet again. You two make to a very secure section of the base, a vault or something. Your companion immediately sets to work on the door ' You know what to do, man.‘ 	'Haha, yeah, totally didn't think the crazy vat experiment guy would be on my side after freeing him, nope...‘ He pushes through the carnage, with you tagging along yet again. You two make to a very secure section of the base, a vault or something. Your companion immediately sets to work on the door ' You know what to do, man.‘ 	'Haha, yeah, totally didn't think the crazy vat experiment guy would be on my side after freeing him, nope...‘ He pushes through the carnage, with you tagging along yet again. You two make to a very secure section of the base, a vault or something. Your companion immediately sets to work on the door ' You know what to do, man.‘ 	'Haha, yeah, totally didn't think the crazy vat experiment guy would be on my side after freeing him, nope...‘ He pushes through the carnage, with you tagging along yet again. You two make to a very secure section of the base, a vault or something. Your companion immediately sets to work on the door ' You know what to do, man.‘
 	1.984E541.068E541.984E55 	One Mega-Guard 	4 	Rick and Morty
 	You've taken a good number of the guards out, but the remaining ones look to be huddling together... that's when you realize they're actually merging their bodies into one superbeing. Disgusting. 	You've taken a good number of the guards out, but the remaining ones look to be huddling together... that's when you realize they're actually merging their bodies into one superbeing. Disgusting. 	You've taken a good number of the guards out, but the remaining ones look to be huddling together... that's when you realize they're actually merging their bodies into one superbeing. Disgusting. 	You've taken a good number of the guards out, but the remaining ones look to be huddling together... that's when you realize they're actually merging their bodies into one superbeing. Disgusting.
 	1.984E551.068E551.984E56 	Spiky Haired Guy 	4 	Rick and Morty
 	60 seconds of frenzied battle, and most of the guards lay killed, or else running away. 'GOTCHA‘ You hear your companion exclaim, and the WHIRR of a door opening. You follow him in where a small, nondescript item lays suspended in midair. He does some more fiddling on a panel by the object, and he eventually snatches the item. 'Alright, I'm all set, see ya around!‘ You are NOT letting this guy get away after all this crap, not til you get what was owed. 	60 seconds of frenzied battle, and most of the guards lay killed, or else running away. 'GOTCHA‘ You hear your companion exclaim, and the WHIRR of a door opening. You follow him in where a small, nondescript item lays suspended in midair. He does some more fiddling on a panel by the object, and he eventually snatches the item. 'Alright, I'm all set, see ya around!‘ You are NOT letting this guy get away after all this crap, not til you get what was owed. 	60 seconds of frenzied battle, and most of the guards lay killed, or else running away. 'GOTCHA‘ You hear your companion exclaim, and the WHIRR of a door opening. You follow him in where a small, nondescript item lays suspended in midair. He does some more fiddling on a panel by the object, and he eventually snatches the item. 'Alright, I'm all set, see ya around!‘ You are NOT letting this guy get away after all this crap, not til you get what was owed. 	60 seconds of frenzied battle, and most of the guards lay killed, or else running away. 'GOTCHA‘ You hear your companion exclaim, and the WHIRR of a door opening. You follow him in where a small, nondescript item lays suspended in midair. He does some more fiddling on a panel by the object, and he eventually snatches the item. 'Alright, I'm all set, see ya around!‘ You are NOT letting this guy get away after all this crap, not til you get what was owed.
 	1.984E561.068E561.984E57 	Monday 	4 	Garfield
 	(You've Unlocked a new zone: High Security Base!)
(You've unlocked TITAN 1: GORDON RAMSAY BOLTON. He'll flay you alive with his words, and also his cleaver! Challenge him in the Adventure Menu!)
(You've unlocked CHALLENGES. Find it on the Rebirth Menu! Reset your NUMBER, work your way back up the bosses and receive some unique rewards! There are many more challenges to unlock!)
Your ex-companion slams against the wall, his lip split and bleeding. *cough cough* 'Alright alright, god dammit... I'll help you out. Jesus." He pulls out his portal gun again 'Right, we'll head to my lab, and I'll set you on your way to where you want to be.‘ You follow him through the portal once more and you see.. a busted looking garage filled with a bunch of weird gadgets. 'Hang on, I'll whip you up one of these.’ He pulls out a few drawers and a phillips-head screwdriver, and within minutes hands you what looks to be a copy of his portal device!
'This baby can bend time and space and take you to any dimension, any world, whatever you want.‘ He hands you a small manual to go with it 'This should show you how to use it. You can come back - *buuurf*- here if you gotta crash but I've got two house rules. 1) Don't touch my beer and 2) DON'T touch my beer. Got it?‘
You nod, and he seems satisfied. 'Tell you what-' He grabs the device from you for a second, turning a knob 'You should give it a test run by shooting yourself to this universe, back when you first woke up. Kill that version of you, and take their place. When you meet me again Say this phrase -' *he whispers it into your ear* ' -and I'll know you've got the hang of this device. Don't worry, that universe is legit, you can check it yourself. The only difference should be -*burrrp*- that orange is blue and blue is orange there. All universes you can hop to should be on the Central Finite Curve, so you'll be fine.‘
You retrace your adventure in this new universe, kick the spiky-haired man's ass, and whisper the codephrase into his ear before he can launch into that whole speech again ' l- oh. I see you've already been set up by another me. Makes my job easier. ' The man pulls out a syringe and injects you with a random fluid. You fall to the ground, in the most intense pain of your life. Every muscle spasms out of control. ' Relax, this is just flushing every single neuron in your brain, basically hard-resetting your mind. It might bring back some memories. Might not. Who cares?‘ The pain eventually subsides and you feel your mind is a little clearer. You remember.... some sort of man. A man who controlled the multiverse, all realities, and things that were and are and will be. He assembled you and several others on a mission. You still can't remember who they were, or what task you had, but it didn't end in success, and you were hunted for it. You tell your spiky—haired companion what you recall now. 'Oh crap, you ran a mission for HIM? And it went FUBAR? No wonder you‘re like this. Well, the man who runs the universe could be anywhere, anywhen, anywhat. Good thing you got that device now. Better get to it, I'm gonna go watch interdimensional T.V'
The old man walks away, leaving you puzzled. Guess It's time to go world hopping on your own. You spin the dial randomly, fire the portal off, and step inside. When you emerge, you see clocks, calendar, sundials, hourglasses, all in a swarm around you. A dimension where time kicked space's ass to take a physical form. You see a menacing-Iooking Monday approach. It whooshes by, and before you know it, your portal gun has been swept away into a storm of clocks. You always hated Mondays.	(You've Unlocked a new zone: High Security Base!)
(You've unlocked TITAN 1: GORDON RAMSAY BOLTON. He'll flay you alive with his words, and also his cleaver! Challenge him in the Adventure Menu!)
(You've unlocked CHALLENGES. Find it on the Rebirth Menu! Reset your NUMBER, work your way back up the bosses and receive some unique rewards! There are many more challenges to unlock!)
Your ex-companion slams against the wall, his lip split and bleeding. *cough cough* 'Alright alright, god dammit... I'll help you out. Jesus." He pulls out his portal gun again 'Right, we'll head to my lab, and I'll set you on your way to where you want to be.‘ You follow him through the portal once more and you see.. a busted looking garage filled with a bunch of weird gadgets. 'Hang on, I'll whip you up one of these.’ He pulls out a few drawers and a phillips-head screwdriver, and within minutes hands you what looks to be a copy of his portal device!
'This baby can bend time and space and take you to any dimension, any world, whatever you want.‘ He hands you a small manual to go with it 'This should show you how to use it. You can come back - *buuurf*- here if you gotta crash but I've got two house rules. 1) Don't touch my beer and 2) DON'T touch my beer. Got it?‘
You nod, and he seems satisfied. 'Tell you what-' He grabs the device from you for a second, turning a knob 'You should give it a test run by shooting yourself to this universe, back when you first woke up. Kill that version of you, and take their place. When you meet me again Say this phrase -' *he whispers it into your ear* ' -and I'll know you've got the hang of this device. Don't worry, that universe is legit, you can check it yourself. The only difference should be -*burrrp*- that orange is blue and blue is orange there. All universes you can hop to should be on the Central Finite Curve, so you'll be fine.‘
You retrace your adventure in this new universe, kick the spiky-haired man's ass, and whisper the codephrase into his ear before he can launch into that whole speech again ' l- oh. I see you've already been set up by another me. Makes my job easier. ' The man pulls out a syringe and injects you with a random fluid. You fall to the ground, in the most intense pain of your life. Every muscle spasms out of control. ' Relax, this is just flushing every single neuron in your brain, basically hard-resetting your mind. It might bring back some memories. Might not. Who cares?‘ The pain eventually subsides and you feel your mind is a little clearer. You remember.... some sort of man. A man who controlled the multiverse, all realities, and things that were and are and will be. He assembled you and several others on a mission. You still can't remember who they were, or what task you had, but it didn't end in success, and you were hunted for it. You tell your spiky—haired companion what you recall now. 'Oh crap, you ran a mission for HIM? And it went FUBAR? No wonder you‘re like this. Well, the man who runs the universe could be anywhere, anywhen, anywhat. Good thing you got that device now. Better get to it, I'm gonna go watch interdimensional T.V'
The old man walks away, leaving you puzzled. Guess It's time to go world hopping on your own. You spin the dial randomly, fire the portal off, and step inside. When you emerge, you see clocks, calendar, sundials, hourglasses, all in a swarm around you. A dimension where time kicked space's ass to take a physical form. You see a menacing-Iooking Monday approach. It whooshes by, and before you know it, your portal gun has been swept away into a storm of clocks. You always hated Mondays.	(You've Unlocked a new zone: High Security Base!)
(You've unlocked TITAN 1: GORDON RAMSAY BOLTON. He'll flay you alive with his words, and also his cleaver! Challenge him in the Adventure Menu!)
(You've unlocked CHALLENGES. Find it on the Rebirth Menu! Reset your NUMBER, work your way back up the bosses and receive some unique rewards! There are many more challenges to unlock!)
Your ex-companion slams against the wall, his lip split and bleeding. *cough cough* 'Alright alright, god dammit... I'll help you out. Jesus." He pulls out his portal gun again 'Right, we'll head to my lab, and I'll set you on your way to where you want to be.‘ You follow him through the portal once more and you see.. a busted looking garage filled with a bunch of weird gadgets. 'Hang on, I'll whip you up one of these.’ He pulls out a few drawers and a phillips-head screwdriver, and within minutes hands you what looks to be a copy of his portal device!
'This baby can bend time and space and take you to any dimension, any world, whatever you want.‘ He hands you a small manual to go with it 'This should show you how to use it. You can come back - *buuurf*- here if you gotta crash but I've got two house rules. 1) Don't touch my beer and 2) DON'T touch my beer. Got it?‘
You nod, and he seems satisfied. 'Tell you what-' He grabs the device from you for a second, turning a knob 'You should give it a test run by shooting yourself to this universe, back when you first woke up. Kill that version of you, and take their place. When you meet me again Say this phrase -' *he whispers it into your ear* ' -and I'll know you've got the hang of this device. Don't worry, that universe is legit, you can check it yourself. The only difference should be -*burrrp*- that orange is blue and blue is orange there. All universes you can hop to should be on the Central Finite Curve, so you'll be fine.‘
You retrace your adventure in this new universe, kick the spiky-haired man's ass, and whisper the codephrase into his ear before he can launch into that whole speech again ' l- oh. I see you've already been set up by another me. Makes my job easier. ' The man pulls out a syringe and injects you with a random fluid. You fall to the ground, in the most intense pain of your life. Every muscle spasms out of control. ' Relax, this is just flushing every single neuron in your brain, basically hard-resetting your mind. It might bring back some memories. Might not. Who cares?‘ The pain eventually subsides and you feel your mind is a little clearer. You remember.... some sort of man. A man who controlled the multiverse, all realities, and things that were and are and will be. He assembled you and several others on a mission. You still can't remember who they were, or what task you had, but it didn't end in success, and you were hunted for it. You tell your spiky—haired companion what you recall now. 'Oh crap, you ran a mission for HIM? And it went FUBAR? No wonder you‘re like this. Well, the man who runs the universe could be anywhere, anywhen, anywhat. Good thing you got that device now. Better get to it, I'm gonna go watch interdimensional T.V'
The old man walks away, leaving you puzzled. Guess It's time to go world hopping on your own. You spin the dial randomly, fire the portal off, and step inside. When you emerge, you see clocks, calendar, sundials, hourglasses, all in a swarm around you. A dimension where time kicked space's ass to take a physical form. You see a menacing-Iooking Monday approach. It whooshes by, and before you know it, your portal gun has been swept away into a storm of clocks. You always hated Mondays.	(You've Unlocked a new zone: High Security Base!)
(You've unlocked TITAN 1: GORDON RAMSAY BOLTON. He'll flay you alive with his words, and also his cleaver! Challenge him in the Adventure Menu!)
(You've unlocked CHALLENGES. Find it on the Rebirth Menu! Reset your NUMBER, work your way back up the bosses and receive some unique rewards! There are many more challenges to unlock!)
Your ex-companion slams against the wall, his lip split and bleeding. *cough cough* 'Alright alright, god dammit... I'll help you out. Jesus." He pulls out his portal gun again 'Right, we'll head to my lab, and I'll set you on your way to where you want to be.‘ You follow him through the portal once more and you see.. a busted looking garage filled with a bunch of weird gadgets. 'Hang on, I'll whip you up one of these.’ He pulls out a few drawers and a phillips-head screwdriver, and within minutes hands you what looks to be a copy of his portal device!
'This baby can bend time and space and take you to any dimension, any world, whatever you want.‘ He hands you a small manual to go with it 'This should show you how to use it. You can come back - *buuurf*- here if you gotta crash but I've got two house rules. 1) Don't touch my beer and 2) DON'T touch my beer. Got it?‘
You nod, and he seems satisfied. 'Tell you what-' He grabs the device from you for a second, turning a knob 'You should give it a test run by shooting yourself to this universe, back when you first woke up. Kill that version of you, and take their place. When you meet me again Say this phrase -' *he whispers it into your ear* ' -and I'll know you've got the hang of this device. Don't worry, that universe is legit, you can check it yourself. The only difference should be -*burrrp*- that orange is blue and blue is orange there. All universes you can hop to should be on the Central Finite Curve, so you'll be fine.‘
You retrace your adventure in this new universe, kick the spiky-haired man's ass, and whisper the codephrase into his ear before he can launch into that whole speech again ' l- oh. I see you've already been set up by another me. Makes my job easier. ' The man pulls out a syringe and injects you with a random fluid. You fall to the ground, in the most intense pain of your life. Every muscle spasms out of control. ' Relax, this is just flushing every single neuron in your brain, basically hard-resetting your mind. It might bring back some memories. Might not. Who cares?‘ The pain eventually subsides and you feel your mind is a little clearer. You remember.... some sort of man. A man who controlled the multiverse, all realities, and things that were and are and will be. He assembled you and several others on a mission. You still can't remember who they were, or what task you had, but it didn't end in success, and you were hunted for it. You tell your spiky—haired companion what you recall now. 'Oh crap, you ran a mission for HIM? And it went FUBAR? No wonder you‘re like this. Well, the man who runs the universe could be anywhere, anywhen, anywhat. Good thing you got that device now. Better get to it, I'm gonna go watch interdimensional T.V'
The old man walks away, leaving you puzzled. Guess It's time to go world hopping on your own. You spin the dial randomly, fire the portal off, and step inside. When you emerge, you see clocks, calendar, sundials, hourglasses, all in a swarm around you. A dimension where time kicked space's ass to take a physical form. You see a menacing-Iooking Monday approach. It whooshes by, and before you know it, your portal gun has been swept away into a storm of clocks. You always hated Mondays.
 	1.984E571.068E571.984E58 	Tuesday 	4 	
 	You're still feeling the effects of Monday, and stagger towards the storm, but Tuesday emerges! This weekday slog is so much worse when they're trying to kill you! 	You're still feeling the effects of Monday, and stagger towards the storm, but Tuesday emerges! This weekday slog is so much worse when they're trying to kill you! 	You're still feeling the effects of Monday, and stagger towards the storm, but Tuesday emerges! This weekday slog is so much worse when they're trying to kill you! 	You're still feeling the effects of Monday, and stagger towards the storm, but Tuesday emerges! This weekday slog is so much worse when they're trying to kill you!
 	1.984E581.068E581.984E59 	Wednesday 	4 	
 	Halfway to the twister of clocks, you can see the portal device getting banged up. You're worried it's going to break. 	Halfway to the twister of clocks, you can see the portal device getting banged up. You're worried it's going to break. 	Halfway to the twister of clocks, you can see the portal device getting banged up. You're worried it's going to break. 	Halfway to the twister of clocks, you can see the portal device getting banged up. You're worried it's going to break.
 	1.984E591.068E591.984E60 	Thursday 	4 	
 	Thursday. 500 rows of razor sharp teeth, and breathes fire and acid. Sounds about right. 	Thursday. 500 rows of razor sharp teeth, and breathes fire and acid. Sounds about right. 	Thursday. 500 rows of razor sharp teeth, and breathes fire and acid. Sounds about right. 	Thursday. 500 rows of razor sharp teeth, and breathes fire and acid. Sounds about right.
 	1.984E601.068E601.984E61 	Friday 	4 	Rebecca Black Song "Friday"
 	Getting down on Friday has a new horrifying meaning in this dimension. You HAVE to reach your portal device. For a instant the storm clears enough to see through, and you see a giant bunny in the distance jumping around trying to catch an alarm clock.
R 	Getting down on Friday has a new horrifying meaning in this dimension. You HAVE to reach your portal device. For a instant the storm clears enough to see through, and you see a giant bunny in the distance jumping around trying to catch an alarm clock.
R 	Getting down on Friday has a new horrifying meaning in this dimension. You HAVE to reach your portal device. For a instant the storm clears enough to see through, and you see a giant bunny in the distance jumping around trying to catch an alarm clock.
R 	Getting down on Friday has a new horrifying meaning in this dimension. You HAVE to reach your portal device. For a instant the storm clears enough to see through, and you see a giant bunny in the distance jumping around trying to catch an alarm clock.
R
 	1.984E611.068E611.984E62 	Saturday 	5 	
 	The moment Saturday appears, you feel a million eons worth of hangovers and bad hookup choices. Euurrrghhhghggh. 	The moment Saturday appears, you feel a million eons worth of hangovers and bad hookup choices. Euurrrghhhghggh. 	The moment Saturday appears, you feel a million eons worth of hangovers and bad hookup choices. Euurrrghhhghggh. 	The moment Saturday appears, you feel a million eons worth of hangovers and bad hookup choices. Euurrrghhhghggh.
 	1.984E621.068E621.984E63 	Sunday 	5 	
 	Normally the holiest of days. Sure as hell isn't in this dimension. You're so close to your portal device, why do these arbitrary constructs of time have to get in the way? 	Normally the holiest of days. Sure as hell isn't in this dimension. You're so close to your portal device, why do these arbitrary constructs of time have to get in the way? 	Normally the holiest of days. Sure as hell isn't in this dimension. You're so close to your portal device, why do these arbitrary constructs of time have to get in the way? 	Normally the holiest of days. Sure as hell isn't in this dimension. You're so close to your portal device, why do these arbitrary constructs of time have to get in the way?
 	1.984E631.068E631.984E64 	Sundae 	5 	
 	GOTCHA! You grasp the slightly dinged-up portal device from the eye of the storm, and all at one, it seems to melt away. The days of the week crawling back into some weird oozing pools of time-goop. You're just about ready to leave when you feel a subtle rumbling. Before long, the vibrations get intense and a massive, 500 mile wide ice cream Sundae appears over the crest of some hourglass-sand mountains! It roars in fury, probably because it's a sentient ice cream sundae stuck in a dimension it's completely unrelated to. You'd be upset too, admit it. 	GOTCHA! You grasp the slightly dinged-up portal device from the eye of the storm, and all at one, it seems to melt away. The days of the week crawling back into some weird oozing pools of time-goop. You're just about ready to leave when you feel a subtle rumbling. Before long, the vibrations get intense and a massive, 500 mile wide ice cream Sundae appears over the crest of some hourglass-sand mountains! It roars in fury, probably because it's a sentient ice cream sundae stuck in a dimension it's completely unrelated to. You'd be upset too, admit it. 	GOTCHA! You grasp the slightly dinged-up portal device from the eye of the storm, and all at one, it seems to melt away. The days of the week crawling back into some weird oozing pools of time-goop. You're just about ready to leave when you feel a subtle rumbling. Before long, the vibrations get intense and a massive, 500 mile wide ice cream Sundae appears over the crest of some hourglass-sand mountains! It roars in fury, probably because it's a sentient ice cream sundae stuck in a dimension it's completely unrelated to. You'd be upset too, admit it. 	GOTCHA! You grasp the slightly dinged-up portal device from the eye of the storm, and all at one, it seems to melt away. The days of the week crawling back into some weird oozing pools of time-goop. You're just about ready to leave when you feel a subtle rumbling. Before long, the vibrations get intense and a massive, 500 mile wide ice cream Sundae appears over the crest of some hourglass-sand mountains! It roars in fury, probably because it's a sentient ice cream sundae stuck in a dimension it's completely unrelated to. You'd be upset too, admit it.
 	1.984E641.068E641.984E65 	A Flat Mouse 	5 	
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Clock Dimension!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: Grand Corrupted Tree!)
The Sundae opens its jaws to swallow you whole, right as you jam your finger on the portal button. A portal opens up at the back of its gaping maw and lava gushes out, flash-melting the foul beast. You let out a sigh of relief, and get the hell out of this place. You spin the dial, shoot at the ground, and ZWOOP back to Spiky Haired Guy's place. He walks in as you drag your battered and bruised body through the portal, covered in sticky vanilla ice cream-ish goo. Without looking at you, or even acknowledging your existence, he grabs a beer from his mini-fridge and heads back inside. Cursing inwardly, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and head off to another dimension. *ZWOOP* You're taken to a place that feels very 2-dimensional. Probably because this universe has exactly 2 dimensions. The mere concept of your extra dimensionality is causing some fantastic tearing fabric of space-time in this reality. You see a very flat city in the distace, complete with a glorious, (and also flat) castle. You head off to the palace, to see if you can get some solid intel on where to find the man who runs the universe. It's not long until your intrusion on this reality is noted. A flat little mouse scurries up to you. ' WELCOME TO FLATLAND! I'm... wait, what is YOU!! I REMEMBER ALL NOW. DIE!!!!!!!!!!' This two-dimensional mouse goes absolutely berserk, and you have no idea why. Time to find out how to destroy a 2 dimensional being. 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Clock Dimension!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: Grand Corrupted Tree!)
The Sundae opens its jaws to swallow you whole, right as you jam your finger on the portal button. A portal opens up at the back of its gaping maw and lava gushes out, flash-melting the foul beast. You let out a sigh of relief, and get the hell out of this place. You spin the dial, shoot at the ground, and ZWOOP back to Spiky Haired Guy's place. He walks in as you drag your battered and bruised body through the portal, covered in sticky vanilla ice cream-ish goo. Without looking at you, or even acknowledging your existence, he grabs a beer from his mini-fridge and heads back inside. Cursing inwardly, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and head off to another dimension. *ZWOOP* You're taken to a place that feels very 2-dimensional. Probably because this universe has exactly 2 dimensions. The mere concept of your extra dimensionality is causing some fantastic tearing fabric of space-time in this reality. You see a very flat city in the distace, complete with a glorious, (and also flat) castle. You head off to the palace, to see if you can get some solid intel on where to find the man who runs the universe. It's not long until your intrusion on this reality is noted. A flat little mouse scurries up to you. ' WELCOME TO FLATLAND! I'm... wait, what is YOU!! I REMEMBER ALL NOW. DIE!!!!!!!!!!' This two-dimensional mouse goes absolutely berserk, and you have no idea why. Time to find out how to destroy a 2 dimensional being. 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Clock Dimension!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: Grand Corrupted Tree!)
The Sundae opens its jaws to swallow you whole, right as you jam your finger on the portal button. A portal opens up at the back of its gaping maw and lava gushes out, flash-melting the foul beast. You let out a sigh of relief, and get the hell out of this place. You spin the dial, shoot at the ground, and ZWOOP back to Spiky Haired Guy's place. He walks in as you drag your battered and bruised body through the portal, covered in sticky vanilla ice cream-ish goo. Without looking at you, or even acknowledging your existence, he grabs a beer from his mini-fridge and heads back inside. Cursing inwardly, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and head off to another dimension. *ZWOOP* You're taken to a place that feels very 2-dimensional. Probably because this universe has exactly 2 dimensions. The mere concept of your extra dimensionality is causing some fantastic tearing fabric of space-time in this reality. You see a very flat city in the distace, complete with a glorious, (and also flat) castle. You head off to the palace, to see if you can get some solid intel on where to find the man who runs the universe. It's not long until your intrusion on this reality is noted. A flat little mouse scurries up to you. ' WELCOME TO FLATLAND! I'm... wait, what is YOU!! I REMEMBER ALL NOW. DIE!!!!!!!!!!' This two-dimensional mouse goes absolutely berserk, and you have no idea why. Time to find out how to destroy a 2 dimensional being. 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Clock Dimension!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: Grand Corrupted Tree!)
The Sundae opens its jaws to swallow you whole, right as you jam your finger on the portal button. A portal opens up at the back of its gaping maw and lava gushes out, flash-melting the foul beast. You let out a sigh of relief, and get the hell out of this place. You spin the dial, shoot at the ground, and ZWOOP back to Spiky Haired Guy's place. He walks in as you drag your battered and bruised body through the portal, covered in sticky vanilla ice cream-ish goo. Without looking at you, or even acknowledging your existence, he grabs a beer from his mini-fridge and heads back inside. Cursing inwardly, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and head off to another dimension. *ZWOOP* You're taken to a place that feels very 2-dimensional. Probably because this universe has exactly 2 dimensions. The mere concept of your extra dimensionality is causing some fantastic tearing fabric of space-time in this reality. You see a very flat city in the distace, complete with a glorious, (and also flat) castle. You head off to the palace, to see if you can get some solid intel on where to find the man who runs the universe. It's not long until your intrusion on this reality is noted. A flat little mouse scurries up to you. ' WELCOME TO FLATLAND! I'm... wait, what is YOU!! I REMEMBER ALL NOW. DIE!!!!!!!!!!' This two-dimensional mouse goes absolutely berserk, and you have no idea why. Time to find out how to destroy a 2 dimensional being.
 	1.984E651.068E651.984E66 	A Tiny Triangle 	5 	Diep.io(?)
 	Turns out stomping works pretty well! Moving on, you see what you guess are simple little creatures along in this angular forest path. A 'cute' little triangular critter descends from a tree and opens its, for lack of a better word, mouth. Suddenly a thousand even tinier triangles flow from its mouth in a horrific swarm! OH GOD KILL IT! 	Turns out stomping works pretty well! Moving on, you see what you guess are simple little creatures along in this angular forest path. A 'cute' little triangular critter descends from a tree and opens its, for lack of a better word, mouth. Suddenly a thousand even tinier triangles flow from its mouth in a horrific swarm! OH GOD KILL IT! 	Turns out stomping works pretty well! Moving on, you see what you guess are simple little creatures along in this angular forest path. A 'cute' little triangular critter descends from a tree and opens its, for lack of a better word, mouth. Suddenly a thousand even tinier triangles flow from its mouth in a horrific swarm! OH GOD KILL IT! 	Turns out stomping works pretty well! Moving on, you see what you guess are simple little creatures along in this angular forest path. A 'cute' little triangular critter descends from a tree and opens its, for lack of a better word, mouth. Suddenly a thousand even tinier triangles flow from its mouth in a horrific swarm! OH GOD KILL IT!
 	1.984E661.068E661.984E67 	A Square Bear 	5 	Cartesian Bear vs Polar Bear meme (?)
 	Not to be confused with a Carebear. This thing does not care for you at all. 	Not to be confused with a Carebear. This thing does not care for you at all. 	Not to be confused with a Carebear. This thing does not care for you at all. 	Not to be confused with a Carebear. This thing does not care for you at all.
 	1.984E671.068E671.984E68 	The Pentagon 	5 	The Pentagon (U.S. Government Building)
 	In another fit of extreme confusion, the U.S Pentagon has ended up in this 2 dimensional universe. They've mistaken you for a North Korean missile and are preparing to fire back with everything they got. Uh oh. 	In another fit of extreme confusion, the U.S Pentagon has ended up in this 2 dimensional universe. They've mistaken you for a North Korean missile and are preparing to fire back with everything they got. Uh oh. 	In another fit of extreme confusion, the U.S Pentagon has ended up in this 2 dimensional universe. They've mistaken you for a North Korean missile and are preparing to fire back with everything they got. Uh oh. 	In another fit of extreme confusion, the U.S Pentagon has ended up in this 2 dimensional universe. They've mistaken you for a North Korean missile and are preparing to fire back with everything they got. Uh oh.
 	1.984E681.068E681.984E69 	A Super Hexagon 	5 	Super Hexagon
 	This isn't your ordinary hexagon. This one has a crisp and firm female voice. When it approaches you it says nothing but 'BEGIN’. 	This isn't your ordinary hexagon. This one has a crisp and firm female voice. When it approaches you it says nothing but 'BEGIN’. 	This isn't your ordinary hexagon. This one has a crisp and firm female voice. When it approaches you it says nothing but 'BEGIN’. 	This isn't your ordinary hexagon. This one has a crisp and firm female voice. When it approaches you it says nothing but 'BEGIN’.
 	1.984E691.068E691.984E70 	The First Stop Sign 	5 	
 	You've made it out of the flat forest, and to the entrance of Flatland City. Two octagonal guards flank you at the gates, the letters S T O P written on them both. What's with guards always coming at you in pairs? Even in this weird universe. 	You've made it out of the flat forest, and to the entrance of Flatland City. Two octagonal guards flank you at the gates, the letters S T O P written on them both. What's with guards always coming at you in pairs? Even in this weird universe. 	You've made it out of the flat forest, and to the entrance of Flatland City. Two octagonal guards flank you at the gates, the letters S T O P written on them both. What's with guards always coming at you in pairs? Even in this weird universe. 	You've made it out of the flat forest, and to the entrance of Flatland City. Two octagonal guards flank you at the gates, the letters S T O P written on them both. What's with guards always coming at you in pairs? Even in this weird universe.
 	1.984E701.068E701.984E71 	The Other Stop Sign 	5 	
 	Let's just get this over with. 	Let's just get this over with. 	Let's just get this over with. 	Let's just get this over with.
 	1.984E711.068E711.984E72 	KING CIRCLE (and 100,000 nameless other shapes) 	6 	Flatland
 	You stampede your way through the city, 'cause two dimensional walls don't exactly hold you back. You march on the palace and rip through the front doors, where you see the King/President/Prime Minister/God/Whoever. 'YOU!' he shrieks, 'THE DEMON RETURNS!, MEN, ASSEMBLE!' a flood of armed little shapes scurry about, forming a perimeter around you. The King Circle himself steps off his throne, revealing four arms, each holding a really impractical but badass looking weapon. 'WE HAVE PREPARED FOR YOUR RETURN FOR OVER 4 THOUSAND YEARS. TODAY YOU DIE!!!!!' You'd think they'd have better guards to their city than those two useless stop signs, if they had 4,000 years to prepare, but there's no time to dwell on that! 	You stampede your way through the city, 'cause two dimensional walls don't exactly hold you back. You march on the palace and rip through the front doors, where you see the King/President/Prime Minister/God/Whoever. 'YOU!' he shrieks, 'THE DEMON RETURNS!, MEN, ASSEMBLE!' a flood of armed little shapes scurry about, forming a perimeter around you. The King Circle himself steps off his throne, revealing four arms, each holding a really impractical but badass looking weapon. 'WE HAVE PREPARED FOR YOUR RETURN FOR OVER 4 THOUSAND YEARS. TODAY YOU DIE!!!!!' You'd think they'd have better guards to their city than those two useless stop signs, if they had 4,000 years to prepare, but there's no time to dwell on that! 	You stampede your way through the city, 'cause two dimensional walls don't exactly hold you back. You march on the palace and rip through the front doors, where you see the King/President/Prime Minister/God/Whoever. 'YOU!' he shrieks, 'THE DEMON RETURNS!, MEN, ASSEMBLE!' a flood of armed little shapes scurry about, forming a perimeter around you. The King Circle himself steps off his throne, revealing four arms, each holding a really impractical but badass looking weapon. 'WE HAVE PREPARED FOR YOUR RETURN FOR OVER 4 THOUSAND YEARS. TODAY YOU DIE!!!!!' You'd think they'd have better guards to their city than those two useless stop signs, if they had 4,000 years to prepare, but there's no time to dwell on that! 	You stampede your way through the city, 'cause two dimensional walls don't exactly hold you back. You march on the palace and rip through the front doors, where you see the King/President/Prime Minister/God/Whoever. 'YOU!' he shrieks, 'THE DEMON RETURNS!, MEN, ASSEMBLE!' a flood of armed little shapes scurry about, forming a perimeter around you. The King Circle himself steps off his throne, revealing four arms, each holding a really impractical but badass looking weapon. 'WE HAVE PREPARED FOR YOUR RETURN FOR OVER 4 THOUSAND YEARS. TODAY YOU DIE!!!!!' You'd think they'd have better guards to their city than those two useless stop signs, if they had 4,000 years to prepare, but there's no time to dwell on that!
 	1.984E721.068E721.984E73 	Ghost Mice(?) 	6 	The Predator (left); Biker Mice from Mars (middle); Tip the Mouse (right); others: ?
 	(You've unlocked a new Zone - The 2D Universe!)
With a grunt of pain, the King Circle keels over, coughing up little dots of blood. 'If only... I had stationed three guards at the entrance...' He coughs again, his eyes fading along with the life they once had. With his final breath he whispers 'At least my secret dies... .with.. me...' And with that, King Circle is no more. Just before you stand back up, you notice a crumpled piece of paper underneath his armpit. Ewww... but you grab it all the same.
*ZWOOP*
And you're back to spiky haired man's garage. He's fiddling with something on a counter as you portal in. 'You look better off this time, where'd you go?' You retell your adventures in the 2-Dimensional universe, King Circle, and show him the paper you recovered. It's at this point you realize it's completely blank. The spiky haired man hesitates to touch the armpit-paper but eventually takes it, and a little telescope-like thing ZWOOPs over his right eye. A laser swath shoots out, scanning over the paper, and to your surprise, coordinates appear. 'King Genius here thought stashing this paper under his friggin' armpit and written with invisible inkwould keep his *burrrp* secret safe for an eternity. Dumbass.' He hands you back the paper and goes back to his work on the counter, where you hear a million muffled screams. Weird.
You set your portal device to the location on the paper and
*ZWOOP*
- You step foot on a world that gives you a very weird feeling, like forces are at work in this dimension far beyond your reckoning. You swear you hear voices around you, little whisps of a infinite number of conversations. Long story short, this is real spooky man. You step forward when you see some incorporeal wisps of smoke in front of you. It thickens until you see the smoke form a dozens of various mice, some huge, some tiny, some cyborg mice, even a three-headed mouse breathing fire. All at once, they charge you, screaming various battle cries and wails of terror!	(You've unlocked a new Zone - The 2D Universe!)
With a grunt of pain, the King Circle keels over, coughing up little dots of blood. 'If only... I had stationed three guards at the entrance...' He coughs again, his eyes fading along with the life they once had. With his final breath he whispers 'At least my secret dies... .with.. me...' And with that, King Circle is no more. Just before you stand back up, you notice a crumpled piece of paper underneath his armpit. Ewww... but you grab it all the same.
*ZWOOP*
And you're back to spiky haired man's garage. He's fiddling with something on a counter as you portal in. 'You look better off this time, where'd you go?' You retell your adventures in the 2-Dimensional universe, King Circle, and show him the paper you recovered. It's at this point you realize it's completely blank. The spiky haired man hesitates to touch the armpit-paper but eventually takes it, and a little telescope-like thing ZWOOPs over his right eye. A laser swath shoots out, scanning over the paper, and to your surprise, coordinates appear. 'King Genius here thought stashing this paper under his friggin' armpit and written with invisible inkwould keep his *burrrp* secret safe for an eternity. Dumbass.' He hands you back the paper and goes back to his work on the counter, where you hear a million muffled screams. Weird.
You set your portal device to the location on the paper and
*ZWOOP*
- You step foot on a world that gives you a very weird feeling, like forces are at work in this dimension far beyond your reckoning. You swear you hear voices around you, little whisps of a infinite number of conversations. Long story short, this is real spooky man. You step forward when you see some incorporeal wisps of smoke in front of you. It thickens until you see the smoke form a dozens of various mice, some huge, some tiny, some cyborg mice, even a three-headed mouse breathing fire. All at once, they charge you, screaming various battle cries and wails of terror!	(You've unlocked a new Zone - The 2D Universe!)
With a grunt of pain, the King Circle keels over, coughing up little dots of blood. 'If only... I had stationed three guards at the entrance...' He coughs again, his eyes fading along with the life they once had. With his final breath he whispers 'At least my secret dies... .with.. me...' And with that, King Circle is no more. Just before you stand back up, you notice a crumpled piece of paper underneath his armpit. Ewww... but you grab it all the same.
*ZWOOP*
And you're back to spiky haired man's garage. He's fiddling with something on a counter as you portal in. 'You look better off this time, where'd you go?' You retell your adventures in the 2-Dimensional universe, King Circle, and show him the paper you recovered. It's at this point you realize it's completely blank. The spiky haired man hesitates to touch the armpit-paper but eventually takes it, and a little telescope-like thing ZWOOPs over his right eye. A laser swath shoots out, scanning over the paper, and to your surprise, coordinates appear. 'King Genius here thought stashing this paper under his friggin' armpit and written with invisible inkwould keep his *burrrp* secret safe for an eternity. Dumbass.' He hands you back the paper and goes back to his work on the counter, where you hear a million muffled screams. Weird.
You set your portal device to the location on the paper and
*ZWOOP*
- You step foot on a world that gives you a very weird feeling, like forces are at work in this dimension far beyond your reckoning. You swear you hear voices around you, little whisps of a infinite number of conversations. Long story short, this is real spooky man. You step forward when you see some incorporeal wisps of smoke in front of you. It thickens until you see the smoke form a dozens of various mice, some huge, some tiny, some cyborg mice, even a three-headed mouse breathing fire. All at once, they charge you, screaming various battle cries and wails of terror!	(You've unlocked a new Zone - The 2D Universe!)
With a grunt of pain, the King Circle keels over, coughing up little dots of blood. 'If only... I had stationed three guards at the entrance...' He coughs again, his eyes fading along with the life they once had. With his final breath he whispers 'At least my secret dies... .with.. me...' And with that, King Circle is no more. Just before you stand back up, you notice a crumpled piece of paper underneath his armpit. Ewww... but you grab it all the same.
*ZWOOP*
And you're back to spiky haired man's garage. He's fiddling with something on a counter as you portal in. 'You look better off this time, where'd you go?' You retell your adventures in the 2-Dimensional universe, King Circle, and show him the paper you recovered. It's at this point you realize it's completely blank. The spiky haired man hesitates to touch the armpit-paper but eventually takes it, and a little telescope-like thing ZWOOPs over his right eye. A laser swath shoots out, scanning over the paper, and to your surprise, coordinates appear. 'King Genius here thought stashing this paper under his friggin' armpit and written with invisible inkwould keep his *burrrp* secret safe for an eternity. Dumbass.' He hands you back the paper and goes back to his work on the counter, where you hear a million muffled screams. Weird.
You set your portal device to the location on the paper and
*ZWOOP*
- You step foot on a world that gives you a very weird feeling, like forces are at work in this dimension far beyond your reckoning. You swear you hear voices around you, little whisps of a infinite number of conversations. Long story short, this is real spooky man. You step forward when you see some incorporeal wisps of smoke in front of you. It thickens until you see the smoke form a dozens of various mice, some huge, some tiny, some cyborg mice, even a three-headed mouse breathing fire. All at once, they charge you, screaming various battle cries and wails of terror!
 	1.984E731.068E731.984E74 	Crasper, The Pissed Off Ghost 	6 	Casper the Friendly Ghost
 	The last mousey spirit vanishes with a wail of pure, unadulterated rage as you continue on. You're used to this kind of welcome by now. After all, you've defeated what, 75 bosses? Yep, looks like this boss is labelled 76 so the math checks out. Where were we? Right, Spooky ancient world. As you follow the path forward, you notice things floating mysteriously around you. Suddenly, a stick gets pelted at your back which kind of hurts but not really. A few feet off the path, a ghost materializes and it looks PISSED. Time to kick some Ghost Ass. 	The last mousey spirit vanishes with a wail of pure, unadulterated rage as you continue on. You're used to this kind of welcome by now. After all, you've defeated what, 75 bosses? Yep, looks like this boss is labelled 76 so the math checks out. Where were we? Right, Spooky ancient world. As you follow the path forward, you notice things floating mysteriously around you. Suddenly, a stick gets pelted at your back which kind of hurts but not really. A few feet off the path, a ghost materializes and it looks PISSED. Time to kick some Ghost Ass. 	The last mousey spirit vanishes with a wail of pure, unadulterated rage as you continue on. You're used to this kind of welcome by now. After all, you've defeated what, 75 bosses? Yep, looks like this boss is labelled 76 so the math checks out. Where were we? Right, Spooky ancient world. As you follow the path forward, you notice things floating mysteriously around you. Suddenly, a stick gets pelted at your back which kind of hurts but not really. A few feet off the path, a ghost materializes and it looks PISSED. Time to kick some Ghost Ass. 	The last mousey spirit vanishes with a wail of pure, unadulterated rage as you continue on. You're used to this kind of welcome by now. After all, you've defeated what, 75 bosses? Yep, looks like this boss is labelled 76 so the math checks out. Where were we? Right, Spooky ancient world. As you follow the path forward, you notice things floating mysteriously around you. Suddenly, a stick gets pelted at your back which kind of hurts but not really. A few feet off the path, a ghost materializes and it looks PISSED. Time to kick some Ghost Ass.
 	1.984E741.068E741.984E75 	Ghost Dad 	6 	Ghost Dad
 	The ghost flies away sobbing and shouting 'Just you wait, I'm gonna tell my Dad on you!' Turns out this ghost was just a cowardly bully after all. Before long he returns with a massive, burly ghost, with bulging eyes and muttering about pops. This can only be Ghost Dad. 	The ghost flies away sobbing and shouting 'Just you wait, I'm gonna tell my Dad on you!' Turns out this ghost was just a cowardly bully after all. Before long he returns with a massive, burly ghost, with bulging eyes and muttering about pops. This can only be Ghost Dad. 	The ghost flies away sobbing and shouting 'Just you wait, I'm gonna tell my Dad on you!' Turns out this ghost was just a cowardly bully after all. Before long he returns with a massive, burly ghost, with bulging eyes and muttering about pops. This can only be Ghost Dad. 	The ghost flies away sobbing and shouting 'Just you wait, I'm gonna tell my Dad on you!' Turns out this ghost was just a cowardly bully after all. Before long he returns with a massive, burly ghost, with bulging eyes and muttering about pops. This can only be Ghost Dad.
 	1.984E751.068E751.984E76 	Living Armor 	6 	
 	Your own armor to be exact. An old armour set you'd been holding onto in your inventory begins floating up and aways, as if it's posessed. Probably because it is! It forms into a roughly human shape, and begins to attack. 	Your own armor to be exact. An old armour set you'd been holding onto in your inventory begins floating up and aways, as if it's posessed. Probably because it is! It forms into a roughly human shape, and begins to attack. 	Your own armor to be exact. An old armour set you'd been holding onto in your inventory begins floating up and aways, as if it's posessed. Probably because it is! It forms into a roughly human shape, and begins to attack. 	Your own armor to be exact. An old armour set you'd been holding onto in your inventory begins floating up and aways, as if it's posessed. Probably because it is! It forms into a roughly human shape, and begins to attack.
 	1.984E76
1.068E76
1.984E77 	Living Armour 	6 	
 	Your equipment crumples to the ground, with the spirit possessing it seemingly banished. Before you can pick it up an ethereal 'u' floats by and disappears into the pile of armor, becoming ARMOUR. For once you feel seized by terror that can only be caused by British English. 	Your equipment crumples to the ground, with the spirit possessing it seemingly banished. Before you can pick it up an ethereal 'u' floats by and disappears into the pile of armor, becoming ARMOUR. For once you feel seized by terror that can only be caused by British English. 	Your equipment crumples to the ground, with the spirit possessing it seemingly banished. Before you can pick it up an ethereal 'u' floats by and disappears into the pile of armor, becoming ARMOUR. For once you feel seized by terror that can only be caused by British English. 	Your equipment crumples to the ground, with the spirit possessing it seemingly banished. Before you can pick it up an ethereal 'u' floats by and disappears into the pile of armor, becoming ARMOUR. For once you feel seized by terror that can only be caused by British English.
 	1.984E771.068E771.984E78 	"" 	6 	
 	The joke here is the name itself is ghostly. :effort: 	The joke here is the name itself is ghostly. :effort: 	The joke here is the name itself is ghostly. :effort: 	The joke here is the name itself is ghostly. :effort:
 	1.984E781.068E781.984E79 	The Pantheon of Fallen Gods 	6 	Idling to Rule the Gods
 	Before long you spot a massive crumbling structure in the distance. With a sense of foreboding, you step inside. It's clear once you're inside that this was once a massive gladiator arena, with row upon row of stands circling the upper levels. As you look up at the stands, you notice them slowly veging to populate with a variety of shimmering figures. Most look human, but there's also a lot of these little penguin looking things. They all project an aura of immense power. Something suddenly clicks - these are ghostly GODS. They grab their ancient weapons and float down to the center of the arena where you stand. One thing is clear - they all want to see you dead. 	Before long you spot a massive crumbling structure in the distance. With a sense of foreboding, you step inside. It's clear once you're inside that this was once a massive gladiator arena, with row upon row of stands circling the upper levels. As you look up at the stands, you notice them slowly veging to populate with a variety of shimmering figures. Most look human, but there's also a lot of these little penguin looking things. They all project an aura of immense power. Something suddenly clicks - these are ghostly GODS. They grab their ancient weapons and float down to the center of the arena where you stand. One thing is clear - they all want to see you dead. 	Before long you spot a massive crumbling structure in the distance. With a sense of foreboding, you step inside. It's clear once you're inside that this was once a massive gladiator arena, with row upon row of stands circling the upper levels. As you look up at the stands, you notice them slowly veging to populate with a variety of shimmering figures. Most look human, but there's also a lot of these little penguin looking things. They all project an aura of immense power. Something suddenly clicks - these are ghostly GODS. They grab their ancient weapons and float down to the center of the arena where you stand. One thing is clear - they all want to see you dead. 	Before long you spot a massive crumbling structure in the distance. With a sense of foreboding, you step inside. It's clear once you're inside that this was once a massive gladiator arena, with row upon row of stands circling the upper levels. As you look up at the stands, you notice them slowly veging to populate with a variety of shimmering figures. Most look human, but there's also a lot of these little penguin looking things. They all project an aura of immense power. Something suddenly clicks - these are ghostly GODS. They grab their ancient weapons and float down to the center of the arena where you stand. One thing is clear - they all want to see you dead.
 	1.984E791.068E791.984E80 	Mysterious Figure 	6 	
 	You fall to a knee, exhausted. Even at just a small fraction of their original power, these beings have tested your strength and endurance to the absolute limit. You hear laughter from above 'You'reso much weaker than you were before. How could you be exhausted from fighting their lingering spirit, when you were the one to destroy them at their peak strength? But enough talk! You will NOT reach the man who runs the Universe' You're so confused by this story at this point; It's like the Hangover but instead of a tiger and a funny asian guy you have to deal with beings who want to kill you.
T 	You fall to a knee, exhausted. Even at just a small fraction of their original power, these beings have tested your strength and endurance to the absolute limit. You hear laughter from above 'You'reso much weaker than you were before. How could you be exhausted from fighting their lingering spirit, when you were the one to destroy them at their peak strength? But enough talk! You will NOT reach the man who runs the Universe' You're so confused by this story at this point; It's like the Hangover but instead of a tiger and a funny asian guy you have to deal with beings who want to kill you.
T 	You fall to a knee, exhausted. Even at just a small fraction of their original power, these beings have tested your strength and endurance to the absolute limit. You hear laughter from above 'You'reso much weaker than you were before. How could you be exhausted from fighting their lingering spirit, when you were the one to destroy them at their peak strength? But enough talk! You will NOT reach the man who runs the Universe' You're so confused by this story at this point; It's like the Hangover but instead of a tiger and a funny asian guy you have to deal with beings who want to kill you.
T 	You fall to a knee, exhausted. Even at just a small fraction of their original power, these beings have tested your strength and endurance to the absolute limit. You hear laughter from above 'You'reso much weaker than you were before. How could you be exhausted from fighting their lingering spirit, when you were the one to destroy them at their peak strength? But enough talk! You will NOT reach the man who runs the Universe' You're so confused by this story at this point; It's like the Hangover but instead of a tiger and a funny asian guy you have to deal with beings who want to kill you.
T
 	1.984E801.068E801.984E81 	The Entire Alphabet Up a Coconut Tree 	6 	Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Ancient Battlefield!)
With your final blow the Mysterious Figure vanishes in a fart of smoke. Holding your nose, you approach where he was, and see a green glow on the ground. You go to touch it, and get pulled inside!
You reappear at a cottage by a lake. The sun is just about setting, casting some lovely shades of orange and red through the clouds. something about this place reawakens your memories. You realize who lives here.
'Hello, hellooo! You've come back, after all this time!' An old man comes up to you by the dock. 'Sit down, we have so much to catch up on, friend!' He lazily waves his hand to the side, and 2 comfy lounge chairs materialize. Surprising yourself, you sit down and accept the ice cold glass of lemonade that he puffs into existance.
'I've seen what happened to you, child. Terrible buisness, all of that. I know you're thinking 'The mission was a horrible failure!', but you forget that even the betrayal was expected. Everything in this existence has already heppened and will continue to happen, over and over. I imagine that you're more concerned with finding the traitor in your group, the one who stole the Artifact and and falsely made you an interdimensional pariah! I'mafraid no matter where you go, you'll continue to face the same resistance you've had up to now. However, there are still allies out there, if you know where to look.
'Another of your team has been hunting for any sign of the real traitor's whereabouts, since your fall. It's about time you seek him out.' As you finish your lemonade, the Man who Rules the Universe, with a grunt, stands up from his chair and motions for you to come to him. Now... it's time for you to leave'
Without any warning, and with unexpected strength, the Man pushes you off the dock into the water! You sputter and swim back to the surface, but you're no longer at the cottage by the lake. In fact, you're no longer in water at all, but laying on hard ground. You examine the pocketwatch, but see nothing that could help you seek out this former companion of yours. However, you feel an urge to pick yourself up off the ground, and start heading off down the path. You're not sure where you're going, but something feels like you were meant to go this way. Before long you see a lone coconut tree swaying in the breeze. You stop for a moment to admire it when you see a swarm of letters descending from the coconuts! A whispers something to B, B whispers something to C, and the entire alphabet charges at you!	(You've unlocked a new zone: Ancient Battlefield!)
With your final blow the Mysterious Figure vanishes in a fart of smoke. Holding your nose, you approach where he was, and see a green glow on the ground. You go to touch it, and get pulled inside!
You reappear at a cottage by a lake. The sun is just about setting, casting some lovely shades of orange and red through the clouds. something about this place reawakens your memories. You realize who lives here.
'Hello, hellooo! You've come back, after all this time!' An old man comes up to you by the dock. 'Sit down, we have so much to catch up on, friend!' He lazily waves his hand to the side, and 2 comfy lounge chairs materialize. Surprising yourself, you sit down and accept the ice cold glass of lemonade that he puffs into existance.
'I've seen what happened to you, child. Terrible buisness, all of that. I know you're thinking 'The mission was a horrible failure!', but you forget that even the betrayal was expected. Everything in this existence has already heppened and will continue to happen, over and over. I imagine that you're more concerned with finding the traitor in your group, the one who stole the Artifact and and falsely made you an interdimensional pariah! I'mafraid no matter where you go, you'll continue to face the same resistance you've had up to now. However, there are still allies out there, if you know where to look.
'Another of your team has been hunting for any sign of the real traitor's whereabouts, since your fall. It's about time you seek him out.' As you finish your lemonade, the Man who Rules the Universe, with a grunt, stands up from his chair and motions for you to come to him. Now... it's time for you to leave'
Without any warning, and with unexpected strength, the Man pushes you off the dock into the water! You sputter and swim back to the surface, but you're no longer at the cottage by the lake. In fact, you're no longer in water at all, but laying on hard ground. You examine the pocketwatch, but see nothing that could help you seek out this former companion of yours. However, you feel an urge to pick yourself up off the ground, and start heading off down the path. You're not sure where you're going, but something feels like you were meant to go this way. Before long you see a lone coconut tree swaying in the breeze. You stop for a moment to admire it when you see a swarm of letters descending from the coconuts! A whispers something to B, B whispers something to C, and the entire alphabet charges at you!	(You've unlocked a new zone: Ancient Battlefield!)
With your final blow the Mysterious Figure vanishes in a fart of smoke. Holding your nose, you approach where he was, and see a green glow on the ground. You go to touch it, and get pulled inside!
You reappear at a cottage by a lake. The sun is just about setting, casting some lovely shades of orange and red through the clouds. something about this place reawakens your memories. You realize who lives here.
'Hello, hellooo! You've come back, after all this time!' An old man comes up to you by the dock. 'Sit down, we have so much to catch up on, friend!' He lazily waves his hand to the side, and 2 comfy lounge chairs materialize. Surprising yourself, you sit down and accept the ice cold glass of lemonade that he puffs into existance.
'I've seen what happened to you, child. Terrible buisness, all of that. I know you're thinking 'The mission was a horrible failure!', but you forget that even the betrayal was expected. Everything in this existence has already heppened and will continue to happen, over and over. I imagine that you're more concerned with finding the traitor in your group, the one who stole the Artifact and and falsely made you an interdimensional pariah! I'mafraid no matter where you go, you'll continue to face the same resistance you've had up to now. However, there are still allies out there, if you know where to look.
'Another of your team has been hunting for any sign of the real traitor's whereabouts, since your fall. It's about time you seek him out.' As you finish your lemonade, the Man who Rules the Universe, with a grunt, stands up from his chair and motions for you to come to him. Now... it's time for you to leave'
Without any warning, and with unexpected strength, the Man pushes you off the dock into the water! You sputter and swim back to the surface, but you're no longer at the cottage by the lake. In fact, you're no longer in water at all, but laying on hard ground. You examine the pocketwatch, but see nothing that could help you seek out this former companion of yours. However, you feel an urge to pick yourself up off the ground, and start heading off down the path. You're not sure where you're going, but something feels like you were meant to go this way. Before long you see a lone coconut tree swaying in the breeze. You stop for a moment to admire it when you see a swarm of letters descending from the coconuts! A whispers something to B, B whispers something to C, and the entire alphabet charges at you!	(You've unlocked a new zone: Ancient Battlefield!)
With your final blow the Mysterious Figure vanishes in a fart of smoke. Holding your nose, you approach where he was, and see a green glow on the ground. You go to touch it, and get pulled inside!
You reappear at a cottage by a lake. The sun is just about setting, casting some lovely shades of orange and red through the clouds. something about this place reawakens your memories. You realize who lives here.
'Hello, hellooo! You've come back, after all this time!' An old man comes up to you by the dock. 'Sit down, we have so much to catch up on, friend!' He lazily waves his hand to the side, and 2 comfy lounge chairs materialize. Surprising yourself, you sit down and accept the ice cold glass of lemonade that he puffs into existance.
'I've seen what happened to you, child. Terrible buisness, all of that. I know you're thinking 'The mission was a horrible failure!', but you forget that even the betrayal was expected. Everything in this existence has already heppened and will continue to happen, over and over. I imagine that you're more concerned with finding the traitor in your group, the one who stole the Artifact and and falsely made you an interdimensional pariah! I'mafraid no matter where you go, you'll continue to face the same resistance you've had up to now. However, there are still allies out there, if you know where to look.
'Another of your team has been hunting for any sign of the real traitor's whereabouts, since your fall. It's about time you seek him out.' As you finish your lemonade, the Man who Rules the Universe, with a grunt, stands up from his chair and motions for you to come to him. Now... it's time for you to leave'
Without any warning, and with unexpected strength, the Man pushes you off the dock into the water! You sputter and swim back to the surface, but you're no longer at the cottage by the lake. In fact, you're no longer in water at all, but laying on hard ground. You examine the pocketwatch, but see nothing that could help you seek out this former companion of yours. However, you feel an urge to pick yourself up off the ground, and start heading off down the path. You're not sure where you're going, but something feels like you were meant to go this way. Before long you see a lone coconut tree swaying in the breeze. You stop for a moment to admire it when you see a swarm of letters descending from the coconuts! A whispers something to B, B whispers something to C, and the entire alphabet charges at you!
 	1.984E811.068E811.984E82 	The Lummox 	7 	Ren and Stimpy
 	As expected the Q is the last letter to be slain, putting up a ferocious fight amongst its fallen brethren. You look up at the tree and decide to claim your price: a juicy coconut! You shimmy up the tree and grab a hold of a sizable coconut when you hear it.
*THUD*
*THUD*
*CRASH*
The biggest hulking behemoth of a man appears under the tree, wearing an XXL shirt three sizes too small and sporting an impressive array of body odours. His red, greasy hair gleams in the midday sun, as he grips the tree and begins shaking it violently. You fall out of the tree along with the rest of the coconuts, right into him! You realize now that this is the elusive LUMMOX, a highly endangered creature. As you get to your feet, you see the beats quiver in fury, sucking in air to launch an all-out burp attack!!! 	As expected the Q is the last letter to be slain, putting up a ferocious fight amongst its fallen brethren. You look up at the tree and decide to claim your price: a juicy coconut! You shimmy up the tree and grab a hold of a sizable coconut when you hear it.
*THUD*
*THUD*
*CRASH*
The biggest hulking behemoth of a man appears under the tree, wearing an XXL shirt three sizes too small and sporting an impressive array of body odours. His red, greasy hair gleams in the midday sun, as he grips the tree and begins shaking it violently. You fall out of the tree along with the rest of the coconuts, right into him! You realize now that this is the elusive LUMMOX, a highly endangered creature. As you get to your feet, you see the beats quiver in fury, sucking in air to launch an all-out burp attack!!! 	As expected the Q is the last letter to be slain, putting up a ferocious fight amongst its fallen brethren. You look up at the tree and decide to claim your price: a juicy coconut! You shimmy up the tree and grab a hold of a sizable coconut when you hear it.
*THUD*
*THUD*
*CRASH*
The biggest hulking behemoth of a man appears under the tree, wearing an XXL shirt three sizes too small and sporting an impressive array of body odours. His red, greasy hair gleams in the midday sun, as he grips the tree and begins shaking it violently. You fall out of the tree along with the rest of the coconuts, right into him! You realize now that this is the elusive LUMMOX, a highly endangered creature. As you get to your feet, you see the beats quiver in fury, sucking in air to launch an all-out burp attack!!! 	As expected the Q is the last letter to be slain, putting up a ferocious fight amongst its fallen brethren. You look up at the tree and decide to claim your price: a juicy coconut! You shimmy up the tree and grab a hold of a sizable coconut when you hear it.
*THUD*
*THUD*
*CRASH*
The biggest hulking behemoth of a man appears under the tree, wearing an XXL shirt three sizes too small and sporting an impressive array of body odours. His red, greasy hair gleams in the midday sun, as he grips the tree and begins shaking it violently. You fall out of the tree along with the rest of the coconuts, right into him! You realize now that this is the elusive LUMMOX, a highly endangered creature. As you get to your feet, you see the beats quiver in fury, sucking in air to launch an all-out burp attack!!!
 	1.984E821.068E821.984E83 	A Metal Slime 	7 	Dragon Quest
 	:o! KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL you won't notice this IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK!	:o! KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL you won't notice this IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK!	:o! KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL you won't notice this IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK!	:o! KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL you won't notice this IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK KILL IT QUICK!
 	1.984E831.068E831.984E84 	A Ginormous Sword 	7 	Ginormo Sword
 	With quick reflexes, you chase down and take out the Metal Slime before it can escape! As you bask in your glory, a shadow forms above you, and before you can react, you feel something slam into you with the force of 1000 suns! Your vision fades for a moment but you manage to resist blacking out. That's when you notice the ridiculously huge sword hover above you.... about to strike again! 	With quick reflexes, you chase down and take out the Metal Slime before it can escape! As you bask in your glory, a shadow forms above you, and before you can react, you feel something slam into you with the force of 1000 suns! Your vision fades for a moment but you manage to resist blacking out. That's when you notice the ridiculously huge sword hover above you.... about to strike again! 	With quick reflexes, you chase down and take out the Metal Slime before it can escape! As you bask in your glory, a shadow forms above you, and before you can react, you feel something slam into you with the force of 1000 suns! Your vision fades for a moment but you manage to resist blacking out. That's when you notice the ridiculously huge sword hover above you.... about to strike again! 	With quick reflexes, you chase down and take out the Metal Slime before it can escape! As you bask in your glory, a shadow forms above you, and before you can react, you feel something slam into you with the force of 1000 suns! Your vision fades for a moment but you manage to resist blacking out. That's when you notice the ridiculously huge sword hover above you.... about to strike again!
 	1.984E841.068E841.984E85 	Kenny 	7 	Most Extreme Elimination Challenge
 	You crack the impractically large sword in half with a well aimed punch, which causes both ends to fall with an earth shattering thud. You fly over to the hilt, and see.... a tiny pixellated man wiggling?! You've had enough excitement around this tree so you decide to move on.
Before long you see a dirt road, and a strange desire pulls you down it. Rain begins to fall and then pound away at the road; It doesn't take long before the road becomes a giant puddle, forcing you to hop from patch to patch still above the water. With one jump, you foot slips through the mud ans you faceplant in the mud! Eurgh!. As you pick yourself up, drenched in this waste, two voices pipe up.
'Ooooh! Ken, looks he's taken a tumble into our mystery sludge... which today is the runoff from the local taco-bell bathrooms!'
'Yeah Vic, he's gonna be spitting up corn for the next two weeks!'
You see two flamboyantly dressed men under an umbrella, pointing at you and laughing. 	You crack the impractically large sword in half with a well aimed punch, which causes both ends to fall with an earth shattering thud. You fly over to the hilt, and see.... a tiny pixellated man wiggling?! You've had enough excitement around this tree so you decide to move on.
Before long you see a dirt road, and a strange desire pulls you down it. Rain begins to fall and then pound away at the road; It doesn't take long before the road becomes a giant puddle, forcing you to hop from patch to patch still above the water. With one jump, you foot slips through the mud ans you faceplant in the mud! Eurgh!. As you pick yourself up, drenched in this waste, two voices pipe up.
'Ooooh! Ken, looks he's taken a tumble into our mystery sludge... which today is the runoff from the local taco-bell bathrooms!'
'Yeah Vic, he's gonna be spitting up corn for the next two weeks!'
You see two flamboyantly dressed men under an umbrella, pointing at you and laughing. 	You crack the impractically large sword in half with a well aimed punch, which causes both ends to fall with an earth shattering thud. You fly over to the hilt, and see.... a tiny pixellated man wiggling?! You've had enough excitement around this tree so you decide to move on.
Before long you see a dirt road, and a strange desire pulls you down it. Rain begins to fall and then pound away at the road; It doesn't take long before the road becomes a giant puddle, forcing you to hop from patch to patch still above the water. With one jump, you foot slips through the mud ans you faceplant in the mud! Eurgh!. As you pick yourself up, drenched in this waste, two voices pipe up.
'Ooooh! Ken, looks he's taken a tumble into our mystery sludge... which today is the runoff from the local taco-bell bathrooms!'
'Yeah Vic, he's gonna be spitting up corn for the next two weeks!'
You see two flamboyantly dressed men under an umbrella, pointing at you and laughing. 	You crack the impractically large sword in half with a well aimed punch, which causes both ends to fall with an earth shattering thud. You fly over to the hilt, and see.... a tiny pixellated man wiggling?! You've had enough excitement around this tree so you decide to move on.
Before long you see a dirt road, and a strange desire pulls you down it. Rain begins to fall and then pound away at the road; It doesn't take long before the road becomes a giant puddle, forcing you to hop from patch to patch still above the water. With one jump, you foot slips through the mud ans you faceplant in the mud! Eurgh!. As you pick yourself up, drenched in this waste, two voices pipe up.
'Ooooh! Ken, looks he's taken a tumble into our mystery sludge... which today is the runoff from the local taco-bell bathrooms!'
'Yeah Vic, he's gonna be spitting up corn for the next two weeks!'
You see two flamboyantly dressed men under an umbrella, pointing at you and laughing.
 	1.984E851.068E851.984E86 	Vic 	7 	Most Extreme Elimination Challenge
 	There's something satisfying about putting down these two fools, but you're not sure why. 	There's something satisfying about putting down these two fools, but you're not sure why. 	There's something satisfying about putting down these two fools, but you're not sure why. 	There's something satisfying about putting down these two fools, but you're not sure why.
 	1.984E861.068E861.984E87 	An Ordinary Chicken 	7 	The Legend of Zelda
 	With those idiots dispatched, the rain stops and you continue on your way. The dirt road eventually leads to a secluded bar on the outskirts of a futuristic city. It feels like this was your intended destination, though you're not sure why or how you know. You stare again at the pocketwatch the Man Who Rules the Universe gave you. It does nothing. It doesn't even have the right time!
As you head across the road to the bar, you spot a chicken on the other side about to do the same. You decide to kick its ass, for no particular reason. 	With those idiots dispatched, the rain stops and you continue on your way. The dirt road eventually leads to a secluded bar on the outskirts of a futuristic city. It feels like this was your intended destination, though you're not sure why or how you know. You stare again at the pocketwatch the Man Who Rules the Universe gave you. It does nothing. It doesn't even have the right time!
As you head across the road to the bar, you spot a chicken on the other side about to do the same. You decide to kick its ass, for no particular reason. 	With those idiots dispatched, the rain stops and you continue on your way. The dirt road eventually leads to a secluded bar on the outskirts of a futuristic city. It feels like this was your intended destination, though you're not sure why or how you know. You stare again at the pocketwatch the Man Who Rules the Universe gave you. It does nothing. It doesn't even have the right time!
As you head across the road to the bar, you spot a chicken on the other side about to do the same. You decide to kick its ass, for no particular reason. 	With those idiots dispatched, the rain stops and you continue on your way. The dirt road eventually leads to a secluded bar on the outskirts of a futuristic city. It feels like this was your intended destination, though you're not sure why or how you know. You stare again at the pocketwatch the Man Who Rules the Universe gave you. It does nothing. It doesn't even have the right time!
As you head across the road to the bar, you spot a chicken on the other side about to do the same. You decide to kick its ass, for no particular reason.
 	1.984E871.068E871.984E88 	743 pissed off Cuckoos 	7 	The Legend of Zelda
 	You give the chicken a kick, and it bounces down the road with a piercing cry. Satisfied, you continue on, until you hear a soft humming in the distance.
Getting louder...
Before long the loud noise is deafening, and you finally see why. Thousands of chickens are flying through the air, heading straight for you and screeching for blood! There's no time to take five more steps into the safety of the bar, you have to fight every last one of the murderous chickens! 	You give the chicken a kick, and it bounces down the road with a piercing cry. Satisfied, you continue on, until you hear a soft humming in the distance.
Getting louder...
Before long the loud noise is deafening, and you finally see why. Thousands of chickens are flying through the air, heading straight for you and screeching for blood! There's no time to take five more steps into the safety of the bar, you have to fight every last one of the murderous chickens! 	You give the chicken a kick, and it bounces down the road with a piercing cry. Satisfied, you continue on, until you hear a soft humming in the distance.
Getting louder...
Before long the loud noise is deafening, and you finally see why. Thousands of chickens are flying through the air, heading straight for you and screeching for blood! There's no time to take five more steps into the safety of the bar, you have to fight every last one of the murderous chickens! 	You give the chicken a kick, and it bounces down the road with a piercing cry. Satisfied, you continue on, until you hear a soft humming in the distance.
Getting louder...
Before long the loud noise is deafening, and you finally see why. Thousands of chickens are flying through the air, heading straight for you and screeching for blood! There's no time to take five more steps into the safety of the bar, you have to fight every last one of the murderous chickens!
 	1.984E881.068E881.984E89 	Broken VCR Man 	7 	Mega Man
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: A Very Strange Place!)
You manage to take down the last of the chickens, and dash through the door to safety. You calmly walk up to a stool and sit down as if a chicken army didn't try to disembowel you, and you order a drink. You can take a long sip and relax...
And that's when you hear your name shouted across the bar. You look around and see some funky looking robot-guy with hipster length blonde hair. What a dork.
The dorky robot runs to you and gives you a hearty slap on the back, crushing the stool you're sitting on and leaving you in a heap. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! Oh, sorry..." He exclaims, lifting you back out of the rubbish. What follows is some more boring exposition about the traitor which I'm sure you would have loved to hear, but I've been going non stop for 90 bosses so I'm going to skip through that part.
Anyways, the plot now says you'll team up with the blonde haired robo-dork to fight a series of evil robotic overlords who are hiding the location of their leader, who has been working with the traitor you seek. Got all that? Sweet. The first guy was hiding in an E-waste dump. He commands the power of obsolete recording technology. He is..... BROKEN VCR MAN. FIGHT! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: A Very Strange Place!)
You manage to take down the last of the chickens, and dash through the door to safety. You calmly walk up to a stool and sit down as if a chicken army didn't try to disembowel you, and you order a drink. You can take a long sip and relax...
And that's when you hear your name shouted across the bar. You look around and see some funky looking robot-guy with hipster length blonde hair. What a dork.
The dorky robot runs to you and gives you a hearty slap on the back, crushing the stool you're sitting on and leaving you in a heap. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! Oh, sorry..." He exclaims, lifting you back out of the rubbish. What follows is some more boring exposition about the traitor which I'm sure you would have loved to hear, but I've been going non stop for 90 bosses so I'm going to skip through that part.
Anyways, the plot now says you'll team up with the blonde haired robo-dork to fight a series of evil robotic overlords who are hiding the location of their leader, who has been working with the traitor you seek. Got all that? Sweet. The first guy was hiding in an E-waste dump. He commands the power of obsolete recording technology. He is..... BROKEN VCR MAN. FIGHT! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: A Very Strange Place!)
You manage to take down the last of the chickens, and dash through the door to safety. You calmly walk up to a stool and sit down as if a chicken army didn't try to disembowel you, and you order a drink. You can take a long sip and relax...
And that's when you hear your name shouted across the bar. You look around and see some funky looking robot-guy with hipster length blonde hair. What a dork.
The dorky robot runs to you and gives you a hearty slap on the back, crushing the stool you're sitting on and leaving you in a heap. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! Oh, sorry..." He exclaims, lifting you back out of the rubbish. What follows is some more boring exposition about the traitor which I'm sure you would have loved to hear, but I've been going non stop for 90 bosses so I'm going to skip through that part.
Anyways, the plot now says you'll team up with the blonde haired robo-dork to fight a series of evil robotic overlords who are hiding the location of their leader, who has been working with the traitor you seek. Got all that? Sweet. The first guy was hiding in an E-waste dump. He commands the power of obsolete recording technology. He is..... BROKEN VCR MAN. FIGHT! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: A Very Strange Place!)
You manage to take down the last of the chickens, and dash through the door to safety. You calmly walk up to a stool and sit down as if a chicken army didn't try to disembowel you, and you order a drink. You can take a long sip and relax...
And that's when you hear your name shouted across the bar. You look around and see some funky looking robot-guy with hipster length blonde hair. What a dork.
The dorky robot runs to you and gives you a hearty slap on the back, crushing the stool you're sitting on and leaving you in a heap. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! Oh, sorry..." He exclaims, lifting you back out of the rubbish. What follows is some more boring exposition about the traitor which I'm sure you would have loved to hear, but I've been going non stop for 90 bosses so I'm going to skip through that part.
Anyways, the plot now says you'll team up with the blonde haired robo-dork to fight a series of evil robotic overlords who are hiding the location of their leader, who has been working with the traitor you seek. Got all that? Sweet. The first guy was hiding in an E-waste dump. He commands the power of obsolete recording technology. He is..... BROKEN VCR MAN. FIGHT!
 	1.984E891.068E891.984E90 	Kitten in a Mech Woman 	7 	Overwatch (presumed)
 	Broken VCR Man explodes into little shreds of magnetic tape, leaving you and robo-dork to move on to the next robot overlord.
Hidden in the yarn jungles of planet X-34, some say she isn't a robot master at all, but actually a hyper-intelligent kitten piloting a mech.... but that's just ridiculous in this story of sentient cheeses and interdimensional aliens. FIGHT! 	Broken VCR Man explodes into little shreds of magnetic tape, leaving you and robo-dork to move on to the next robot overlord.
Hidden in the yarn jungles of planet X-34, some say she isn't a robot master at all, but actually a hyper-intelligent kitten piloting a mech.... but that's just ridiculous in this story of sentient cheeses and interdimensional aliens. FIGHT! 	Broken VCR Man explodes into little shreds of magnetic tape, leaving you and robo-dork to move on to the next robot overlord.
Hidden in the yarn jungles of planet X-34, some say she isn't a robot master at all, but actually a hyper-intelligent kitten piloting a mech.... but that's just ridiculous in this story of sentient cheeses and interdimensional aliens. FIGHT! 	Broken VCR Man explodes into little shreds of magnetic tape, leaving you and robo-dork to move on to the next robot overlord.
Hidden in the yarn jungles of planet X-34, some say she isn't a robot master at all, but actually a hyper-intelligent kitten piloting a mech.... but that's just ridiculous in this story of sentient cheeses and interdimensional aliens. FIGHT!
 	1.984E901.068E901.984E91 	Mr Plow 	7 	The Simpsons
 	You smirk while watching the mech sputter and vibrate, with all guns powering down. Something catches the corner of your eye and you see a little kitten scamper away. That's when you realize the mech has powered up again, and is starting to glow white. OH SHIT!
You and robo-dork dive out of the way in the nick of time as the mech explodes in a glorious mini-supernova. You side-eye each other with one of those "Did-we-almost-just-die" looks, before beaming off to the next robot master. Teleporting into the tundras of Kilimanjaro (the planet, not the mountain) you make the trek up the mountain. As you reach the peak, you realized you could have just teleported here instead. Too late now!
A loud diesel-engine rumble alerts you that Mr. Plow Man is approaching. He lowers his 30-ton plow blade as he sings an upbeat yet horrifying tune. "Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is GO TO HELL!" 	You smirk while watching the mech sputter and vibrate, with all guns powering down. Something catches the corner of your eye and you see a little kitten scamper away. That's when you realize the mech has powered up again, and is starting to glow white. OH SHIT!
You and robo-dork dive out of the way in the nick of time as the mech explodes in a glorious mini-supernova. You side-eye each other with one of those "Did-we-almost-just-die" looks, before beaming off to the next robot master. Teleporting into the tundras of Kilimanjaro (the planet, not the mountain) you make the trek up the mountain. As you reach the peak, you realized you could have just teleported here instead. Too late now!
A loud diesel-engine rumble alerts you that Mr. Plow Man is approaching. He lowers his 30-ton plow blade as he sings an upbeat yet horrifying tune. "Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is GO TO HELL!" 	You smirk while watching the mech sputter and vibrate, with all guns powering down. Something catches the corner of your eye and you see a little kitten scamper away. That's when you realize the mech has powered up again, and is starting to glow white. OH SHIT!
You and robo-dork dive out of the way in the nick of time as the mech explodes in a glorious mini-supernova. You side-eye each other with one of those "Did-we-almost-just-die" looks, before beaming off to the next robot master. Teleporting into the tundras of Kilimanjaro (the planet, not the mountain) you make the trek up the mountain. As you reach the peak, you realized you could have just teleported here instead. Too late now!
A loud diesel-engine rumble alerts you that Mr. Plow Man is approaching. He lowers his 30-ton plow blade as he sings an upbeat yet horrifying tune. "Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is GO TO HELL!" 	You smirk while watching the mech sputter and vibrate, with all guns powering down. Something catches the corner of your eye and you see a little kitten scamper away. That's when you realize the mech has powered up again, and is starting to glow white. OH SHIT!
You and robo-dork dive out of the way in the nick of time as the mech explodes in a glorious mini-supernova. You side-eye each other with one of those "Did-we-almost-just-die" looks, before beaming off to the next robot master. Teleporting into the tundras of Kilimanjaro (the planet, not the mountain) you make the trek up the mountain. As you reach the peak, you realized you could have just teleported here instead. Too late now!
A loud diesel-engine rumble alerts you that Mr. Plow Man is approaching. He lowers his 30-ton plow blade as he sings an upbeat yet horrifying tune. "Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is GO TO HELL!"
 	1.984E911.068E911.984E92 	ROBUTT 	8 	Space Station 13 & The Day My Butt Went Psycho!
 	You arrive on the methane supergiant known as AN0-05, diving deep into a hidden lab. Fighting a near-infinite horde of raving buttbots, you finally reach the buttdome, and confront ROBUTT: The only robot master made entirely of butt. Beware of his homing shart-attack. FIGHT! 	You arrive on the methane supergiant known as AN0-05, diving deep into a hidden lab. Fighting a near-infinite horde of raving buttbots, you finally reach the buttdome, and confront ROBUTT: The only robot master made entirely of butt. Beware of his homing shart-attack. FIGHT! 	You arrive on the methane supergiant known as AN0-05, diving deep into a hidden lab. Fighting a near-infinite horde of raving buttbots, you finally reach the buttdome, and confront ROBUTT: The only robot master made entirely of butt. Beware of his homing shart-attack. FIGHT! 	You arrive on the methane supergiant known as AN0-05, diving deep into a hidden lab. Fighting a near-infinite horde of raving buttbots, you finally reach the buttdome, and confront ROBUTT: The only robot master made entirely of butt. Beware of his homing shart-attack. FIGHT!
 	1.984E921.068E921.984E93 	Former Canadian PM Stephen Harper 	8 	
 	Robo-dork teleports you both now to a similarly chilly planet as Mr. Plow, the brutally inhospitable C4N4-DA. You expect a fight but the Canadians on the planet politely direct you to their robot master with their well wishes and a "Sooree Eh?" You arrive at the PM's office, and find him sitting in his chair, as if expecting you. He rises, and GIANT HEAT RAYS COME SHOOTING OUT OF HIS EYES, AAAHHHHHH!!!! FIGHT! 	Robo-dork teleports you both now to a similarly chilly planet as Mr. Plow, the brutally inhospitable C4N4-DA. You expect a fight but the Canadians on the planet politely direct you to their robot master with their well wishes and a "Sooree Eh?" You arrive at the PM's office, and find him sitting in his chair, as if expecting you. He rises, and GIANT HEAT RAYS COME SHOOTING OUT OF HIS EYES, AAAHHHHHH!!!! FIGHT! 	Robo-dork teleports you both now to a similarly chilly planet as Mr. Plow, the brutally inhospitable C4N4-DA. You expect a fight but the Canadians on the planet politely direct you to their robot master with their well wishes and a "Sooree Eh?" You arrive at the PM's office, and find him sitting in his chair, as if expecting you. He rises, and GIANT HEAT RAYS COME SHOOTING OUT OF HIS EYES, AAAHHHHHH!!!! FIGHT! 	Robo-dork teleports you both now to a similarly chilly planet as Mr. Plow, the brutally inhospitable C4N4-DA. You expect a fight but the Canadians on the planet politely direct you to their robot master with their well wishes and a "Sooree Eh?" You arrive at the PM's office, and find him sitting in his chair, as if expecting you. He rises, and GIANT HEAT RAYS COME SHOOTING OUT OF HIS EYES, AAAHHHHHH!!!! FIGHT!
 	1.984E931.068E931.984E94 	A Cyberdemon 	8 	DOOM, Earthworm Jim (presumed)
 	From the chilly wastes of C4N4-DA to the sulphuric maelstrom of planet HECK, you and robo-dork track down the elusive Cyberdemon. It stands at 50 feet tall, and 14 tonnes of machine and muscle. And right now it's got a rocket buster pointed straight at you two! FIGHT! 	From the chilly wastes of C4N4-DA to the sulphuric maelstrom of planet HECK, you and robo-dork track down the elusive Cyberdemon. It stands at 50 feet tall, and 14 tonnes of machine and muscle. And right now it's got a rocket buster pointed straight at you two! FIGHT! 	From the chilly wastes of C4N4-DA to the sulphuric maelstrom of planet HECK, you and robo-dork track down the elusive Cyberdemon. It stands at 50 feet tall, and 14 tonnes of machine and muscle. And right now it's got a rocket buster pointed straight at you two! FIGHT! 	From the chilly wastes of C4N4-DA to the sulphuric maelstrom of planet HECK, you and robo-dork track down the elusive Cyberdemon. It stands at 50 feet tall, and 14 tonnes of machine and muscle. And right now it's got a rocket buster pointed straight at you two! FIGHT!
 	1.984E941.068E941.984E95 	Robo Rat 9000 	8 	
 	Once again, you're ZWOOPed off to a gross, rat-turd infested swamp planet. You gleefully crush as many rats as you can, hearkening about to those days at the sewers, until you and robo-dork finally find your target. The Robo Rat 9000, made from triple thick adamantium alloy plates and the latest in rodent defense technology. Again, you notice this rat seems to be harboring an intense, soul-searing hatred to you and you alone. Oh well, FIGHT! 	Once again, you're ZWOOPed off to a gross, rat-turd infested swamp planet. You gleefully crush as many rats as you can, hearkening about to those days at the sewers, until you and robo-dork finally find your target. The Robo Rat 9000, made from triple thick adamantium alloy plates and the latest in rodent defense technology. Again, you notice this rat seems to be harboring an intense, soul-searing hatred to you and you alone. Oh well, FIGHT! 	Once again, you're ZWOOPed off to a gross, rat-turd infested swamp planet. You gleefully crush as many rats as you can, hearkening about to those days at the sewers, until you and robo-dork finally find your target. The Robo Rat 9000, made from triple thick adamantium alloy plates and the latest in rodent defense technology. Again, you notice this rat seems to be harboring an intense, soul-searing hatred to you and you alone. Oh well, FIGHT! 	Once again, you're ZWOOPed off to a gross, rat-turd infested swamp planet. You gleefully crush as many rats as you can, hearkening about to those days at the sewers, until you and robo-dork finally find your target. The Robo Rat 9000, made from triple thick adamantium alloy plates and the latest in rodent defense technology. Again, you notice this rat seems to be harboring an intense, soul-searing hatred to you and you alone. Oh well, FIGHT!
 	1.984E951.068E951.984E96 	Butter-Passing Robot 	8 	Rick and Morty
 	With the Robot Rat laying in ruin at your feet, robo-dork decides it's time to suddenly know where the robot masters' leader is hiding, despite getting zero information from any robot master. And so, you head off to the big baddie's secret volcano lair.
You're just about ready to storm the entrance when you see a small robot with a pat of butter and a small knife in its hands. "Please, end my meaningless existence", it begs in a monotone. FIGHT!(?) 	With the Robot Rat laying in ruin at your feet, robo-dork decides it's time to suddenly know where the robot masters' leader is hiding, despite getting zero information from any robot master. And so, you head off to the big baddie's secret volcano lair.
You're just about ready to storm the entrance when you see a small robot with a pat of butter and a small knife in its hands. "Please, end my meaningless existence", it begs in a monotone. FIGHT!(?) 	With the Robot Rat laying in ruin at your feet, robo-dork decides it's time to suddenly know where the robot masters' leader is hiding, despite getting zero information from any robot master. And so, you head off to the big baddie's secret volcano lair.
You're just about ready to storm the entrance when you see a small robot with a pat of butter and a small knife in its hands. "Please, end my meaningless existence", it begs in a monotone. FIGHT!(?) 	With the Robot Rat laying in ruin at your feet, robo-dork decides it's time to suddenly know where the robot masters' leader is hiding, despite getting zero information from any robot master. And so, you head off to the big baddie's secret volcano lair.
You're just about ready to storm the entrance when you see a small robot with a pat of butter and a small knife in its hands. "Please, end my meaningless existence", it begs in a monotone. FIGHT!(?)
 	1.984E961.068E961.984E97 	ALL of The Robot Masters. Again. 	8 	Mega Man's Boss Rush
 	Are you kidding me with this bullcrap? 	Are you kidding me with this bullcrap? 	Are you kidding me with this bullcrap? 	Are you kidding me with this bullcrap?
 	1.984E971.068E971.984E98 	Doctor Wahwee 	8 	Mega Man 8
 	At last, you've made it to the big bad himself. The mad doctor spits out some lispy villainous speech about his plans to dominate the universe with the traitor before moving towards some giant mech contraption. You graciously give him time to be safely hidden away in his mech instead of just ending the fight here and now.
...he's having some trouble using the step up to climb in. Poor guy.
...
Alright, he's safely in his giant death machine. FIGHT! 	At last, you've made it to the big bad himself. The mad doctor spits out some lispy villainous speech about his plans to dominate the universe with the traitor before moving towards some giant mech contraption. You graciously give him time to be safely hidden away in his mech instead of just ending the fight here and now.
...he's having some trouble using the step up to climb in. Poor guy.
...
Alright, he's safely in his giant death machine. FIGHT! 	At last, you've made it to the big bad himself. The mad doctor spits out some lispy villainous speech about his plans to dominate the universe with the traitor before moving towards some giant mech contraption. You graciously give him time to be safely hidden away in his mech instead of just ending the fight here and now.
...he's having some trouble using the step up to climb in. Poor guy.
...
Alright, he's safely in his giant death machine. FIGHT! 	At last, you've made it to the big bad himself. The mad doctor spits out some lispy villainous speech about his plans to dominate the universe with the traitor before moving towards some giant mech contraption. You graciously give him time to be safely hidden away in his mech instead of just ending the fight here and now.
...he's having some trouble using the step up to climb in. Poor guy.
...
Alright, he's safely in his giant death machine. FIGHT!
 	1.984E981.068E981.984E99 	A Bearded Lady 	8 	Conchita Wurst
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Mega Lands!)
(A NEW TITAN APPROACHES: UUG THE UNMENTIONABLE! Crap, I just mentioned him.)
With his mech turned into a smoking heap of metal, Doctor Wahwee gets on his hands and knees begging for mercy. He claims he'll tell you all you wish to know about the traitor and their plans. You let your guard down for a moment, thinking you'll find some closure to this frankly ridiculous story, but Doctor Wahwee pulls out a remote control from his labocat and presses a button!
*FWOOP*
DAMMIT! You're not sure what the mad doctor did but there's no sign of him or the blonde robo-dork you were with. In fact, you're not even sure where you are right now. It seems to be some thick jungle, but no... you examine a nearby vine and discover it's made of beard hair! Dafuq? Now that the theme of the next 8 bosses or so has been set, a bearded lady comes out of the brush nearby. Her name is Tina and she has a long, pointed goatee. Gross. 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Mega Lands!)
(A NEW TITAN APPROACHES: UUG THE UNMENTIONABLE! Crap, I just mentioned him.)
With his mech turned into a smoking heap of metal, Doctor Wahwee gets on his hands and knees begging for mercy. He claims he'll tell you all you wish to know about the traitor and their plans. You let your guard down for a moment, thinking you'll find some closure to this frankly ridiculous story, but Doctor Wahwee pulls out a remote control from his labocat and presses a button!
*FWOOP*
DAMMIT! You're not sure what the mad doctor did but there's no sign of him or the blonde robo-dork you were with. In fact, you're not even sure where you are right now. It seems to be some thick jungle, but no... you examine a nearby vine and discover it's made of beard hair! Dafuq? Now that the theme of the next 8 bosses or so has been set, a bearded lady comes out of the brush nearby. Her name is Tina and she has a long, pointed goatee. Gross. 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Mega Lands!)
(A NEW TITAN APPROACHES: UUG THE UNMENTIONABLE! Crap, I just mentioned him.)
With his mech turned into a smoking heap of metal, Doctor Wahwee gets on his hands and knees begging for mercy. He claims he'll tell you all you wish to know about the traitor and their plans. You let your guard down for a moment, thinking you'll find some closure to this frankly ridiculous story, but Doctor Wahwee pulls out a remote control from his labocat and presses a button!
*FWOOP*
DAMMIT! You're not sure what the mad doctor did but there's no sign of him or the blonde robo-dork you were with. In fact, you're not even sure where you are right now. It seems to be some thick jungle, but no... you examine a nearby vine and discover it's made of beard hair! Dafuq? Now that the theme of the next 8 bosses or so has been set, a bearded lady comes out of the brush nearby. Her name is Tina and she has a long, pointed goatee. Gross. 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Mega Lands!)
(A NEW TITAN APPROACHES: UUG THE UNMENTIONABLE! Crap, I just mentioned him.)
With his mech turned into a smoking heap of metal, Doctor Wahwee gets on his hands and knees begging for mercy. He claims he'll tell you all you wish to know about the traitor and their plans. You let your guard down for a moment, thinking you'll find some closure to this frankly ridiculous story, but Doctor Wahwee pulls out a remote control from his labocat and presses a button!
*FWOOP*
DAMMIT! You're not sure what the mad doctor did but there's no sign of him or the blonde robo-dork you were with. In fact, you're not even sure where you are right now. It seems to be some thick jungle, but no... you examine a nearby vine and discover it's made of beard hair! Dafuq? Now that the theme of the next 8 bosses or so has been set, a bearded lady comes out of the brush nearby. Her name is Tina and she has a long, pointed goatee. Gross.
 	1.984E991.068E991.984E100 	A Bearded Man 	8 	
 	You grab a firm hold of the Bearded Lady's beard and rip it off. She screams, clutching her face and running for her life! That's when her husband, the Bearded Man appears. A MAN with a beard? Now you've seen everything. 	You grab a firm hold of the Bearded Lady's beard and rip it off. She screams, clutching her face and running for her life! That's when her husband, the Bearded Man appears. A MAN with a beard? Now you've seen everything. 	You grab a firm hold of the Bearded Lady's beard and rip it off. She screams, clutching her face and running for her life! That's when her husband, the Bearded Man appears. A MAN with a beard? Now you've seen everything. 	You grab a firm hold of the Bearded Lady's beard and rip it off. She screams, clutching her face and running for her life! That's when her husband, the Bearded Man appears. A MAN with a beard? Now you've seen everything.
 	1.984E1001.068E1001.984E101 	Cousin Itt 	8 	The Addams Family
 	Since you're in a beard-ripping mood, you give the Bearded Man the same treatment, probably scarring them for life. By now you're ready to set off and explore this weird beard dimension, and hopefully find some clues as to what Doctor Wahwee pulled off. That's when you encounter a being so hairy, you're pretty sure it's just a koosh ball in a wig. COUSIN ITT has joined the fray! 	Since you're in a beard-ripping mood, you give the Bearded Man the same treatment, probably scarring them for life. By now you're ready to set off and explore this weird beard dimension, and hopefully find some clues as to what Doctor Wahwee pulled off. That's when you encounter a being so hairy, you're pretty sure it's just a koosh ball in a wig. COUSIN ITT has joined the fray! 	Since you're in a beard-ripping mood, you give the Bearded Man the same treatment, probably scarring them for life. By now you're ready to set off and explore this weird beard dimension, and hopefully find some clues as to what Doctor Wahwee pulled off. That's when you encounter a being so hairy, you're pretty sure it's just a koosh ball in a wig. COUSIN ITT has joined the fray! 	Since you're in a beard-ripping mood, you give the Bearded Man the same treatment, probably scarring them for life. By now you're ready to set off and explore this weird beard dimension, and hopefully find some clues as to what Doctor Wahwee pulled off. That's when you encounter a being so hairy, you're pretty sure it's just a koosh ball in a wig. COUSIN ITT has joined the fray!
 	1.984E1011.068E1011.984E102 	A Naked Molerat 	9 	Kim Possible
 	You manage to light Cousin Itt on fire with some fancy magic, and you watching the flaming furball run through the bearded forest, setting it ablaze. Have you ever smelled burning hair before? If you have, then you know that this was the worst choice you've made in this adventure. You switch between coughing and gagging on the horrible smell, trying to find your way out of the beard forest. You see a small, naked critter also trying to escape. In a rare display of kindness you scoop up the creature and take it with you. You finally burst through the beard foliage into a lush beard meadow, extending far beyond your vision. The naked molerat in your hands seems scared, shivering. It looks up at you, squinting, before baring its teeth and BITING YOUR FACE OW OWW KILL IT KILL IT NOW WHAT THE HELL? 	You manage to light Cousin Itt on fire with some fancy magic, and you watching the flaming furball run through the bearded forest, setting it ablaze. Have you ever smelled burning hair before? If you have, then you know that this was the worst choice you've made in this adventure. You switch between coughing and gagging on the horrible smell, trying to find your way out of the beard forest. You see a small, naked critter also trying to escape. In a rare display of kindness you scoop up the creature and take it with you. You finally burst through the beard foliage into a lush beard meadow, extending far beyond your vision. The naked molerat in your hands seems scared, shivering. It looks up at you, squinting, before baring its teeth and BITING YOUR FACE OW OWW KILL IT KILL IT NOW WHAT THE HELL? 	You manage to light Cousin Itt on fire with some fancy magic, and you watching the flaming furball run through the bearded forest, setting it ablaze. Have you ever smelled burning hair before? If you have, then you know that this was the worst choice you've made in this adventure. You switch between coughing and gagging on the horrible smell, trying to find your way out of the beard forest. You see a small, naked critter also trying to escape. In a rare display of kindness you scoop up the creature and take it with you. You finally burst through the beard foliage into a lush beard meadow, extending far beyond your vision. The naked molerat in your hands seems scared, shivering. It looks up at you, squinting, before baring its teeth and BITING YOUR FACE OW OWW KILL IT KILL IT NOW WHAT THE HELL? 	You manage to light Cousin Itt on fire with some fancy magic, and you watching the flaming furball run through the bearded forest, setting it ablaze. Have you ever smelled burning hair before? If you have, then you know that this was the worst choice you've made in this adventure. You switch between coughing and gagging on the horrible smell, trying to find your way out of the beard forest. You see a small, naked critter also trying to escape. In a rare display of kindness you scoop up the creature and take it with you. You finally burst through the beard foliage into a lush beard meadow, extending far beyond your vision. The naked molerat in your hands seems scared, shivering. It looks up at you, squinting, before baring its teeth and BITING YOUR FACE OW OWW KILL IT KILL IT NOW WHAT THE HELL?
 	1.984E1021.068E1021.984E103 	Rob Boss 	9 	The Joy of Painting
 	You fling the molerat to the ground and stomp on it a solid 7 or 8 times for good measure. What the hell was that for? You're not sure what your next steps are, so you decide to skip through the meadow. Before long you come across a man with a lovely Afro and beard, talking in a silky smooth voice to no one in particular. Something about "our happy little secret"? You feel really guilty for what's about to happen to this guy. 	You fling the molerat to the ground and stomp on it a solid 7 or 8 times for good measure. What the hell was that for? You're not sure what your next steps are, so you decide to skip through the meadow. Before long you come across a man with a lovely Afro and beard, talking in a silky smooth voice to no one in particular. Something about "our happy little secret"? You feel really guilty for what's about to happen to this guy. 	You fling the molerat to the ground and stomp on it a solid 7 or 8 times for good measure. What the hell was that for? You're not sure what your next steps are, so you decide to skip through the meadow. Before long you come across a man with a lovely Afro and beard, talking in a silky smooth voice to no one in particular. Something about "our happy little secret"? You feel really guilty for what's about to happen to this guy. 	You fling the molerat to the ground and stomp on it a solid 7 or 8 times for good measure. What the hell was that for? You're not sure what your next steps are, so you decide to skip through the meadow. Before long you come across a man with a lovely Afro and beard, talking in a silky smooth voice to no one in particular. Something about "our happy little secret"? You feel really guilty for what's about to happen to this guy.
 	1.984E1031.068E1031.984E104 	An Orange Toupée With Fists 	9 	Donald Trump
 	You decide to take a break and finish the painting Rob started. It's not that great, but at least you tried. As you're about to place your initials in the bottom-left corner, you feel something wrap around your neck! You manage to break its grip, and hold it out in front of you. It's a sentient orange toupe, WTF?? Long orange-hair tentacles sprout of the toupée, ready to throttle you again! 	You decide to take a break and finish the painting Rob started. It's not that great, but at least you tried. As you're about to place your initials in the bottom-left corner, you feel something wrap around your neck! You manage to break its grip, and hold it out in front of you. It's a sentient orange toupe, WTF?? Long orange-hair tentacles sprout of the toupée, ready to throttle you again! 	You decide to take a break and finish the painting Rob started. It's not that great, but at least you tried. As you're about to place your initials in the bottom-left corner, you feel something wrap around your neck! You manage to break its grip, and hold it out in front of you. It's a sentient orange toupe, WTF?? Long orange-hair tentacles sprout of the toupée, ready to throttle you again! 	You decide to take a break and finish the painting Rob started. It's not that great, but at least you tried. As you're about to place your initials in the bottom-left corner, you feel something wrap around your neck! You manage to break its grip, and hold it out in front of you. It's a sentient orange toupe, WTF?? Long orange-hair tentacles sprout of the toupée, ready to throttle you again!
 	1.984E1041.068E1041.984E105 	Gossamer 	9 	Looney Tunes
 	You try to burn this wig too, which at first seems to work - the orange toupe writhes in pain on the ground. Suddenly the fire seems to be absorbed by the toupe, turning from cheeto orange to a deep scarlet. The toupe swells in size, growing thick braided arms and towering over you. It has become GOSSAMER, and it is pissed. 	You try to burn this wig too, which at first seems to work - the orange toupe writhes in pain on the ground. Suddenly the fire seems to be absorbed by the toupe, turning from cheeto orange to a deep scarlet. The toupe swells in size, growing thick braided arms and towering over you. It has become GOSSAMER, and it is pissed. 	You try to burn this wig too, which at first seems to work - the orange toupe writhes in pain on the ground. Suddenly the fire seems to be absorbed by the toupe, turning from cheeto orange to a deep scarlet. The toupe swells in size, growing thick braided arms and towering over you. It has become GOSSAMER, and it is pissed. 	You try to burn this wig too, which at first seems to work - the orange toupe writhes in pain on the ground. Suddenly the fire seems to be absorbed by the toupe, turning from cheeto orange to a deep scarlet. The toupe swells in size, growing thick braided arms and towering over you. It has become GOSSAMER, and it is pissed.
 	1.984E1051.068E1051.984E106 	A Clogged Shower Drain 	9 	
 	Exhausted, you lay down on the meadow and take a quick breather, before seeking out some water. You venture past the meadow and find a small bearded enclosure, with a crystal clear pond! You're just about to cup your hand in the water and take a sip when you notice some thing at the bottom. You reach in and... urgh... pull up a massive clump of congealed hair and unknown fluids! In the middle of the clump you spot the same device Doctor Wahwee used on you! You could easily pull away the slimy gunk and use the remote, but instead decide to turn this into the final boss fight for this chapter. 	Exhausted, you lay down on the meadow and take a quick breather, before seeking out some water. You venture past the meadow and find a small bearded enclosure, with a crystal clear pond! You're just about to cup your hand in the water and take a sip when you notice some thing at the bottom. You reach in and... urgh... pull up a massive clump of congealed hair and unknown fluids! In the middle of the clump you spot the same device Doctor Wahwee used on you! You could easily pull away the slimy gunk and use the remote, but instead decide to turn this into the final boss fight for this chapter. 	Exhausted, you lay down on the meadow and take a quick breather, before seeking out some water. You venture past the meadow and find a small bearded enclosure, with a crystal clear pond! You're just about to cup your hand in the water and take a sip when you notice some thing at the bottom. You reach in and... urgh... pull up a massive clump of congealed hair and unknown fluids! In the middle of the clump you spot the same device Doctor Wahwee used on you! You could easily pull away the slimy gunk and use the remote, but instead decide to turn this into the final boss fight for this chapter. 	Exhausted, you lay down on the meadow and take a quick breather, before seeking out some water. You venture past the meadow and find a small bearded enclosure, with a crystal clear pond! You're just about to cup your hand in the water and take a sip when you notice some thing at the bottom. You reach in and... urgh... pull up a massive clump of congealed hair and unknown fluids! In the middle of the clump you spot the same device Doctor Wahwee used on you! You could easily pull away the slimy gunk and use the remote, but instead decide to turn this into the final boss fight for this chapter.
 	1.984E1061.068E1061.984E107 	Badly Drawn Dragon 	9 	
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Beardverse! Weeeeeeee!)
This was easily the grossest battle you've been involved in. That being said, you turn Wahwee's device onto yourself and activate it without hesitation, figuring you'll be able to catch up to the mad doctor.
*ZWOOP*
Instead you're bewildered to find yourself back at the Spiky Haired Guy's garage! You see him puttering around on something as usual. You step forward, intending to interrogate him on what happened to Doctor Wahwee when you realize you've got this green goop all over your boots! Yuck! 
'Oh hey there *buuurp* champ, if you're looking for that Wahwee guy, you're stepping in him. Triggered my home-defense system. Idiot.' Looking down, you spot a strange object floading in the Wahwee-Goop. You pluck it out of the goop and wipe it off on your shirt. It looks like a pointless MacGuffin.
The Spiky Haired Guy's eyes widen in shock when he sees what you're holding. 'WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH Holy CRAP, what are you doing touching that thing directly!!!' He frantically rummages around in a drawer until he finds a small glass case and a cloth. Before you can react he grabs the MacGuffin with the cloth and shoves it into the case, now suspended in midair. 'You owe me big-time pal, that thing was a few seconds away from destroying the very fabric of your being! Oh crap, if this is what that traitor is looking for, and he has other lackeys searching for these MacGuffins we're really screwed! He's gonna -'
Realizing he's talking to an idiot missing his memories, the Spiky Haired Man stops himself. I guess you don't remember the Legend of the 6 Infinity MacGuffins. Each one is said to control an aspect of the universe. And if you were to control all 6... shit would go down. Yup. All this' -He waves his finger around in a circle -'... poof! Gone.' He suddenly shoots out a portal from his gun and pushes you towards it. 'I already know who else must be hunting for another MacGuffin to give to that jerkass. He's an old nemesis of mine - you'll know who he is when you see him, trust me' He plants a foot on your ass and kicks you into the portal, without offering any more explanation on what to do. Great.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily you land on a soft pile of crumpled up paper. Actually, looking around it looks like this universe is made of nothing BUT paper! Badly drawn creatures of all sorts can be found doing whatever badly drawn sentient beings do. Since you have no idea where to go you decide to close your eyes, spin around in a circle, and head off in a random direction. Unfortunately this has led you right to a giant badly drawn black dragon. Good start!	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Beardverse! Weeeeeeee!)
This was easily the grossest battle you've been involved in. That being said, you turn Wahwee's device onto yourself and activate it without hesitation, figuring you'll be able to catch up to the mad doctor.
*ZWOOP*
Instead you're bewildered to find yourself back at the Spiky Haired Guy's garage! You see him puttering around on something as usual. You step forward, intending to interrogate him on what happened to Doctor Wahwee when you realize you've got this green goop all over your boots! Yuck! 
'Oh hey there *buuurp* champ, if you're looking for that Wahwee guy, you're stepping in him. Triggered my home-defense system. Idiot.' Looking down, you spot a strange object floading in the Wahwee-Goop. You pluck it out of the goop and wipe it off on your shirt. It looks like a pointless MacGuffin.
The Spiky Haired Guy's eyes widen in shock when he sees what you're holding. 'WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH Holy CRAP, what are you doing touching that thing directly!!!' He frantically rummages around in a drawer until he finds a small glass case and a cloth. Before you can react he grabs the MacGuffin with the cloth and shoves it into the case, now suspended in midair. 'You owe me big-time pal, that thing was a few seconds away from destroying the very fabric of your being! Oh crap, if this is what that traitor is looking for, and he has other lackeys searching for these MacGuffins we're really screwed! He's gonna -'
Realizing he's talking to an idiot missing his memories, the Spiky Haired Man stops himself. I guess you don't remember the Legend of the 6 Infinity MacGuffins. Each one is said to control an aspect of the universe. And if you were to control all 6... shit would go down. Yup. All this' -He waves his finger around in a circle -'... poof! Gone.' He suddenly shoots out a portal from his gun and pushes you towards it. 'I already know who else must be hunting for another MacGuffin to give to that jerkass. He's an old nemesis of mine - you'll know who he is when you see him, trust me' He plants a foot on your ass and kicks you into the portal, without offering any more explanation on what to do. Great.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily you land on a soft pile of crumpled up paper. Actually, looking around it looks like this universe is made of nothing BUT paper! Badly drawn creatures of all sorts can be found doing whatever badly drawn sentient beings do. Since you have no idea where to go you decide to close your eyes, spin around in a circle, and head off in a random direction. Unfortunately this has led you right to a giant badly drawn black dragon. Good start!	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Beardverse! Weeeeeeee!)
This was easily the grossest battle you've been involved in. That being said, you turn Wahwee's device onto yourself and activate it without hesitation, figuring you'll be able to catch up to the mad doctor.
*ZWOOP*
Instead you're bewildered to find yourself back at the Spiky Haired Guy's garage! You see him puttering around on something as usual. You step forward, intending to interrogate him on what happened to Doctor Wahwee when you realize you've got this green goop all over your boots! Yuck! 
'Oh hey there *buuurp* champ, if you're looking for that Wahwee guy, you're stepping in him. Triggered my home-defense system. Idiot.' Looking down, you spot a strange object floading in the Wahwee-Goop. You pluck it out of the goop and wipe it off on your shirt. It looks like a pointless MacGuffin.
The Spiky Haired Guy's eyes widen in shock when he sees what you're holding. 'WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH Holy CRAP, what are you doing touching that thing directly!!!' He frantically rummages around in a drawer until he finds a small glass case and a cloth. Before you can react he grabs the MacGuffin with the cloth and shoves it into the case, now suspended in midair. 'You owe me big-time pal, that thing was a few seconds away from destroying the very fabric of your being! Oh crap, if this is what that traitor is looking for, and he has other lackeys searching for these MacGuffins we're really screwed! He's gonna -'
Realizing he's talking to an idiot missing his memories, the Spiky Haired Man stops himself. I guess you don't remember the Legend of the 6 Infinity MacGuffins. Each one is said to control an aspect of the universe. And if you were to control all 6... shit would go down. Yup. All this' -He waves his finger around in a circle -'... poof! Gone.' He suddenly shoots out a portal from his gun and pushes you towards it. 'I already know who else must be hunting for another MacGuffin to give to that jerkass. He's an old nemesis of mine - you'll know who he is when you see him, trust me' He plants a foot on your ass and kicks you into the portal, without offering any more explanation on what to do. Great.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily you land on a soft pile of crumpled up paper. Actually, looking around it looks like this universe is made of nothing BUT paper! Badly drawn creatures of all sorts can be found doing whatever badly drawn sentient beings do. Since you have no idea where to go you decide to close your eyes, spin around in a circle, and head off in a random direction. Unfortunately this has led you right to a giant badly drawn black dragon. Good start!	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Beardverse! Weeeeeeee!)
This was easily the grossest battle you've been involved in. That being said, you turn Wahwee's device onto yourself and activate it without hesitation, figuring you'll be able to catch up to the mad doctor.
*ZWOOP*
Instead you're bewildered to find yourself back at the Spiky Haired Guy's garage! You see him puttering around on something as usual. You step forward, intending to interrogate him on what happened to Doctor Wahwee when you realize you've got this green goop all over your boots! Yuck! 
'Oh hey there *buuurp* champ, if you're looking for that Wahwee guy, you're stepping in him. Triggered my home-defense system. Idiot.' Looking down, you spot a strange object floading in the Wahwee-Goop. You pluck it out of the goop and wipe it off on your shirt. It looks like a pointless MacGuffin.
The Spiky Haired Guy's eyes widen in shock when he sees what you're holding. 'WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH Holy CRAP, what are you doing touching that thing directly!!!' He frantically rummages around in a drawer until he finds a small glass case and a cloth. Before you can react he grabs the MacGuffin with the cloth and shoves it into the case, now suspended in midair. 'You owe me big-time pal, that thing was a few seconds away from destroying the very fabric of your being! Oh crap, if this is what that traitor is looking for, and he has other lackeys searching for these MacGuffins we're really screwed! He's gonna -'
Realizing he's talking to an idiot missing his memories, the Spiky Haired Man stops himself. I guess you don't remember the Legend of the 6 Infinity MacGuffins. Each one is said to control an aspect of the universe. And if you were to control all 6... shit would go down. Yup. All this' -He waves his finger around in a circle -'... poof! Gone.' He suddenly shoots out a portal from his gun and pushes you towards it. 'I already know who else must be hunting for another MacGuffin to give to that jerkass. He's an old nemesis of mine - you'll know who he is when you see him, trust me' He plants a foot on your ass and kicks you into the portal, without offering any more explanation on what to do. Great.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily you land on a soft pile of crumpled up paper. Actually, looking around it looks like this universe is made of nothing BUT paper! Badly drawn creatures of all sorts can be found doing whatever badly drawn sentient beings do. Since you have no idea where to go you decide to close your eyes, spin around in a circle, and head off in a random direction. Unfortunately this has led you right to a giant badly drawn black dragon. Good start!
 	1.984E1071.068E1071.984E108 	Really Bad Sonic Fanart 	9 	Sonic the Hedgehog
 	The dragon has been slain! You step away from your foe and for the heck of it, perform some victory flexes. As you're about to move on the dragon's corpse lets out a small *poot* of badly drawn fire!
AHHHHHH!
You run around wildly, patting out the flames threatening to destroy your pants. With that crisis resolved, you look around to make sure no one saw that embarrassing incident. That's when you spot a *really* badly drawn creature. One large blue blob for its body, connected to two tiny pink rectangles you think are feet. You could have drawn better when you were three years old. The creature croaks out in a pained voice, 'You're too slow!' And moves in to attack! 	The dragon has been slain! You step away from your foe and for the heck of it, perform some victory flexes. As you're about to move on the dragon's corpse lets out a small *poot* of badly drawn fire!
AHHHHHH!
You run around wildly, patting out the flames threatening to destroy your pants. With that crisis resolved, you look around to make sure no one saw that embarrassing incident. That's when you spot a *really* badly drawn creature. One large blue blob for its body, connected to two tiny pink rectangles you think are feet. You could have drawn better when you were three years old. The creature croaks out in a pained voice, 'You're too slow!' And moves in to attack! 	The dragon has been slain! You step away from your foe and for the heck of it, perform some victory flexes. As you're about to move on the dragon's corpse lets out a small *poot* of badly drawn fire!
AHHHHHH!
You run around wildly, patting out the flames threatening to destroy your pants. With that crisis resolved, you look around to make sure no one saw that embarrassing incident. That's when you spot a *really* badly drawn creature. One large blue blob for its body, connected to two tiny pink rectangles you think are feet. You could have drawn better when you were three years old. The creature croaks out in a pained voice, 'You're too slow!' And moves in to attack! 	The dragon has been slain! You step away from your foe and for the heck of it, perform some victory flexes. As you're about to move on the dragon's corpse lets out a small *poot* of badly drawn fire!
AHHHHHH!
You run around wildly, patting out the flames threatening to destroy your pants. With that crisis resolved, you look around to make sure no one saw that embarrassing incident. That's when you spot a *really* badly drawn creature. One large blue blob for its body, connected to two tiny pink rectangles you think are feet. You could have drawn better when you were three years old. The creature croaks out in a pained voice, 'You're too slow!' And moves in to attack!
 	1.984E1081.068E1081.984E109 	Badly Drawn Schoolgirl 	9 	Baldi's Basics & Men in Black
 	The crudely drawn hedgehog runs away and inexplicably upwards into the sky. O-kayyyy then...
You continue on uninterrupted for some time, and you're able to take in the scenery around you. Which is unfortunate, since the scenery is all so damn ugly.
You make your way down a hill and see a badly CGI'd school in front of you. Something about it gives you the creeps, so you decide to just go around and keep searching for whatever it is you're looking for. Around the back of the school you get an unsettling feeling in your stomach. That's when you notice the really creepy children's music playing behind you. A badly drawn little girl approaches you asking to play, the music growing louder with every steps she takes. You see in her arms several books on advanced quantum physics. A little girl reading about quantum physics? Something's very wrong here, those books are way too advanced for her! You crouch into a fighting stance. 	The crudely drawn hedgehog runs away and inexplicably upwards into the sky. O-kayyyy then...
You continue on uninterrupted for some time, and you're able to take in the scenery around you. Which is unfortunate, since the scenery is all so damn ugly.
You make your way down a hill and see a badly CGI'd school in front of you. Something about it gives you the creeps, so you decide to just go around and keep searching for whatever it is you're looking for. Around the back of the school you get an unsettling feeling in your stomach. That's when you notice the really creepy children's music playing behind you. A badly drawn little girl approaches you asking to play, the music growing louder with every steps she takes. You see in her arms several books on advanced quantum physics. A little girl reading about quantum physics? Something's very wrong here, those books are way too advanced for her! You crouch into a fighting stance. 	The crudely drawn hedgehog runs away and inexplicably upwards into the sky. O-kayyyy then...
You continue on uninterrupted for some time, and you're able to take in the scenery around you. Which is unfortunate, since the scenery is all so damn ugly.
You make your way down a hill and see a badly CGI'd school in front of you. Something about it gives you the creeps, so you decide to just go around and keep searching for whatever it is you're looking for. Around the back of the school you get an unsettling feeling in your stomach. That's when you notice the really creepy children's music playing behind you. A badly drawn little girl approaches you asking to play, the music growing louder with every steps she takes. You see in her arms several books on advanced quantum physics. A little girl reading about quantum physics? Something's very wrong here, those books are way too advanced for her! You crouch into a fighting stance. 	The crudely drawn hedgehog runs away and inexplicably upwards into the sky. O-kayyyy then...
You continue on uninterrupted for some time, and you're able to take in the scenery around you. Which is unfortunate, since the scenery is all so damn ugly.
You make your way down a hill and see a badly CGI'd school in front of you. Something about it gives you the creeps, so you decide to just go around and keep searching for whatever it is you're looking for. Around the back of the school you get an unsettling feeling in your stomach. That's when you notice the really creepy children's music playing behind you. A badly drawn little girl approaches you asking to play, the music growing louder with every steps she takes. You see in her arms several books on advanced quantum physics. A little girl reading about quantum physics? Something's very wrong here, those books are way too advanced for her! You crouch into a fighting stance.
 	1.984E1091.068E1091.984E110 	No Boss (You monster) 	9 	
 	It turns out that was just a smart friendly schoolgirl who wanted to play, and you just beat her up. Look, she's running away crying. I hope you feel bad. I'm not even giving you a real boss here so you can think about what you've done. 	It turns out that was just a smart friendly schoolgirl who wanted to play, and you just beat her up. Look, she's running away crying. I hope you feel bad. I'm not even giving you a real boss here so you can think about what you've done. 	It turns out that was just a smart friendly schoolgirl who wanted to play, and you just beat her up. Look, she's running away crying. I hope you feel bad. I'm not even giving you a real boss here so you can think about what you've done. 	It turns out that was just a smart friendly schoolgirl who wanted to play, and you just beat her up. Look, she's running away crying. I hope you feel bad. I'm not even giving you a real boss here so you can think about what you've done.
 	1.984E1101.068E1101.984E111 	Really Bad MLP Fanart 	9 	My Little Pony
 	Alright, you can go now.
Leaving the school behind you, you follow a badly drawn road until you see a small village. You're filled with that familiar sense of confidence that you're heading the right way. As the village is within reach, a giant rainbow collides with you! Ouch! You pick yourself up and stare into the face of evil itself - a mangled drawing of MLP. 	Alright, you can go now.
Leaving the school behind you, you follow a badly drawn road until you see a small village. You're filled with that familiar sense of confidence that you're heading the right way. As the village is within reach, a giant rainbow collides with you! Ouch! You pick yourself up and stare into the face of evil itself - a mangled drawing of MLP. 	Alright, you can go now.
Leaving the school behind you, you follow a badly drawn road until you see a small village. You're filled with that familiar sense of confidence that you're heading the right way. As the village is within reach, a giant rainbow collides with you! Ouch! You pick yourself up and stare into the face of evil itself - a mangled drawing of MLP. 	Alright, you can go now.
Leaving the school behind you, you follow a badly drawn road until you see a small village. You're filled with that familiar sense of confidence that you're heading the right way. As the village is within reach, a giant rainbow collides with you! Ouch! You pick yourself up and stare into the face of evil itself - a mangled drawing of MLP.
 	1.984E1111.068E1111.984E112 	Loss.png 	10 	Ctrl+Alt+Del
 	You take a moment to wipe your hands off in the nearby grass. Just fighting that thing was disgusting. You head down the main road, leading directly to a badly drawn mansion. By instinct, you head around back towards the cellar. In place of the cellar door you instead see a 4 panel comic blocking your path. Ugh. 	You take a moment to wipe your hands off in the nearby grass. Just fighting that thing was disgusting. You head down the main road, leading directly to a badly drawn mansion. By instinct, you head around back towards the cellar. In place of the cellar door you instead see a 4 panel comic blocking your path. Ugh. 	You take a moment to wipe your hands off in the nearby grass. Just fighting that thing was disgusting. You head down the main road, leading directly to a badly drawn mansion. By instinct, you head around back towards the cellar. In place of the cellar door you instead see a 4 panel comic blocking your path. Ugh. 	You take a moment to wipe your hands off in the nearby grass. Just fighting that thing was disgusting. You head down the main road, leading directly to a badly drawn mansion. By instinct, you head around back towards the cellar. In place of the cellar door you instead see a 4 panel comic blocking your path. Ugh.
 	1.984E1121.068E1121.984E113 	Evil Spiky Haired Guy! 	10 	
 	You sweep aside the comic, and enter the cellar. Badly drawn torches line the walls, yet as you head deeper the darkness threatens to engulf you. The stairs eventually lead down to a plain wooden door. After rolling an 18 to check for traps, you feel safe enough to go inside. At the far end of this dusty room you spot a small wooden chest! Cautiously, you crack open the lock and look inside. :O! It's the badly drawn Infinity MacGuffin! You snatch it and shove it into your pockets.
'Great job, *burp* dumbass, now hand it over'. It's the Spiky Haired Man, betraying you again! Or - is it? He had a goatee and somehow looks even grumpier. In a stroke of brilliance, you clue in that this must be the Spiky Haired Guy's evil twin. Everyone has one of those, after all. 	You sweep aside the comic, and enter the cellar. Badly drawn torches line the walls, yet as you head deeper the darkness threatens to engulf you. The stairs eventually lead down to a plain wooden door. After rolling an 18 to check for traps, you feel safe enough to go inside. At the far end of this dusty room you spot a small wooden chest! Cautiously, you crack open the lock and look inside. :O! It's the badly drawn Infinity MacGuffin! You snatch it and shove it into your pockets.
'Great job, *burp* dumbass, now hand it over'. It's the Spiky Haired Man, betraying you again! Or - is it? He had a goatee and somehow looks even grumpier. In a stroke of brilliance, you clue in that this must be the Spiky Haired Guy's evil twin. Everyone has one of those, after all. 	You sweep aside the comic, and enter the cellar. Badly drawn torches line the walls, yet as you head deeper the darkness threatens to engulf you. The stairs eventually lead down to a plain wooden door. After rolling an 18 to check for traps, you feel safe enough to go inside. At the far end of this dusty room you spot a small wooden chest! Cautiously, you crack open the lock and look inside. :O! It's the badly drawn Infinity MacGuffin! You snatch it and shove it into your pockets.
'Great job, *burp* dumbass, now hand it over'. It's the Spiky Haired Man, betraying you again! Or - is it? He had a goatee and somehow looks even grumpier. In a stroke of brilliance, you clue in that this must be the Spiky Haired Guy's evil twin. Everyone has one of those, after all. 	You sweep aside the comic, and enter the cellar. Badly drawn torches line the walls, yet as you head deeper the darkness threatens to engulf you. The stairs eventually lead down to a plain wooden door. After rolling an 18 to check for traps, you feel safe enough to go inside. At the far end of this dusty room you spot a small wooden chest! Cautiously, you crack open the lock and look inside. :O! It's the badly drawn Infinity MacGuffin! You snatch it and shove it into your pockets.
'Great job, *burp* dumbass, now hand it over'. It's the Spiky Haired Man, betraying you again! Or - is it? He had a goatee and somehow looks even grumpier. In a stroke of brilliance, you clue in that this must be the Spiky Haired Guy's evil twin. Everyone has one of those, after all.
 	1.984E1131.068E1131.984E114 	Evil Badly Drawn Kitty! 	10 	
 	You throw the evil(er) version of the Spiky Haired Man down, and he struggles to get back to his feet. His body gives out and he drops back to the ground, defeated. You raise your arms to deliver the final blow when - *ZWOOP* *ZWOOP* a portal briefly appears underneath him and he's whisked away somewhere else! Dammit! You turn around and stomp your foot in frustration, when you see your old friend, the Badly Drawn Kitty! Why is she here? But, oh no... something's different about this kitty. This one has a badly drawn mustache, and two frowning eyebrows! D: IT'S EVIL BADLY DRAWN KITTY!!!!!
(The lore of this game keeps getting deeper, eh?) 	You throw the evil(er) version of the Spiky Haired Man down, and he struggles to get back to his feet. His body gives out and he drops back to the ground, defeated. You raise your arms to deliver the final blow when - *ZWOOP* *ZWOOP* a portal briefly appears underneath him and he's whisked away somewhere else! Dammit! You turn around and stomp your foot in frustration, when you see your old friend, the Badly Drawn Kitty! Why is she here? But, oh no... something's different about this kitty. This one has a badly drawn mustache, and two frowning eyebrows! D: IT'S EVIL BADLY DRAWN KITTY!!!!!
(The lore of this game keeps getting deeper, eh?) 	You throw the evil(er) version of the Spiky Haired Man down, and he struggles to get back to his feet. His body gives out and he drops back to the ground, defeated. You raise your arms to deliver the final blow when - *ZWOOP* *ZWOOP* a portal briefly appears underneath him and he's whisked away somewhere else! Dammit! You turn around and stomp your foot in frustration, when you see your old friend, the Badly Drawn Kitty! Why is she here? But, oh no... something's different about this kitty. This one has a badly drawn mustache, and two frowning eyebrows! D: IT'S EVIL BADLY DRAWN KITTY!!!!!
(The lore of this game keeps getting deeper, eh?) 	You throw the evil(er) version of the Spiky Haired Man down, and he struggles to get back to his feet. His body gives out and he drops back to the ground, defeated. You raise your arms to deliver the final blow when - *ZWOOP* *ZWOOP* a portal briefly appears underneath him and he's whisked away somewhere else! Dammit! You turn around and stomp your foot in frustration, when you see your old friend, the Badly Drawn Kitty! Why is she here? But, oh no... something's different about this kitty. This one has a badly drawn mustache, and two frowning eyebrows! D: IT'S EVIL BADLY DRAWN KITTY!!!!!
(The lore of this game keeps getting deeper, eh?)
 	1.984E1141.068E1141.984E115 	The Eiffel Tower 	10 	
 	(TITAN 5: 'WALDERP' HAS ENTERED THE WORLD OF NGU. FIND HIM WANDERING YOUR MENUS... IF YOU CAN!)
(You've also unlocked a new zone: Badly Drawn World!)
As much as it pains your soul, you dispatch the evil Badly Drawn Kitty and get the hell out of there...
*ZWOOP*
...and toss the MacGuffin at the Spiky Haired Guy. 'Sweet, 2 down, 4 to go' He uses some fancy tools of his to examine the MacGuffin for a while, completely ignoring you. You go inside the house to watch some T.V.
After a few hours of restless boredom you decided to go back and check up on his work. You find the Spiky Haired Guy slumped over the counter, snoozing in a really awkward position. You punch him.
' OW! Whu-wha? Oh shit, guess I had too many shots of vodka mixed with rhino tranquilizers. Right, I did a lot of that... science stuff and the MacGuffin you fetched has pointed to the location of the next one. It's this boring-ass planet called Earth. Ugh. Better you than me, kid.' He sets the position on your portal device and:
*ZWOOP*
You're in a weird, weird place. A huge crowd of people are constantly walking around you speaking in some horrific screeching language you can't comprehend. The readings on your portal device point towards this tall metal structure infront of you, so you just start climbing the side. You make it to the landing where you see some people get off from an elevator.
Oh.
You head to where your device starts beeping, but find nothing - that's weird. A soft scrunch beneath your feet alerts you to a note, stuck on your boots. The note outlines a plot to smuggle out the MacGuffin into the hands of a 'Mr. X' which you presume is a crappy codename for the traitor you've been seeking. It also mentions the next dead-drop location at a place called Egypt, and signs off simply with '-C.S.' at the end. Curious.
You're about ready to plop a portal to the other side of the planet when the ground shakes violently beneath you! AHHHHHH!! You're thrown off the tower entirely, and fall a good 60 feet to your death. Lucky, your plot immunity kicks in and revives you in time to face off against the now-living Eiffel Tower!	(TITAN 5: 'WALDERP' HAS ENTERED THE WORLD OF NGU. FIND HIM WANDERING YOUR MENUS... IF YOU CAN!)
(You've also unlocked a new zone: Badly Drawn World!)
As much as it pains your soul, you dispatch the evil Badly Drawn Kitty and get the hell out of there...
*ZWOOP*
...and toss the MacGuffin at the Spiky Haired Guy. 'Sweet, 2 down, 4 to go' He uses some fancy tools of his to examine the MacGuffin for a while, completely ignoring you. You go inside the house to watch some T.V.
After a few hours of restless boredom you decided to go back and check up on his work. You find the Spiky Haired Guy slumped over the counter, snoozing in a really awkward position. You punch him.
' OW! Whu-wha? Oh shit, guess I had too many shots of vodka mixed with rhino tranquilizers. Right, I did a lot of that... science stuff and the MacGuffin you fetched has pointed to the location of the next one. It's this boring-ass planet called Earth. Ugh. Better you than me, kid.' He sets the position on your portal device and:
*ZWOOP*
You're in a weird, weird place. A huge crowd of people are constantly walking around you speaking in some horrific screeching language you can't comprehend. The readings on your portal device point towards this tall metal structure infront of you, so you just start climbing the side. You make it to the landing where you see some people get off from an elevator.
Oh.
You head to where your device starts beeping, but find nothing - that's weird. A soft scrunch beneath your feet alerts you to a note, stuck on your boots. The note outlines a plot to smuggle out the MacGuffin into the hands of a 'Mr. X' which you presume is a crappy codename for the traitor you've been seeking. It also mentions the next dead-drop location at a place called Egypt, and signs off simply with '-C.S.' at the end. Curious.
You're about ready to plop a portal to the other side of the planet when the ground shakes violently beneath you! AHHHHHH!! You're thrown off the tower entirely, and fall a good 60 feet to your death. Lucky, your plot immunity kicks in and revives you in time to face off against the now-living Eiffel Tower!	(TITAN 5: 'WALDERP' HAS ENTERED THE WORLD OF NGU. FIND HIM WANDERING YOUR MENUS... IF YOU CAN!)
(You've also unlocked a new zone: Badly Drawn World!)
As much as it pains your soul, you dispatch the evil Badly Drawn Kitty and get the hell out of there...
*ZWOOP*
...and toss the MacGuffin at the Spiky Haired Guy. 'Sweet, 2 down, 4 to go' He uses some fancy tools of his to examine the MacGuffin for a while, completely ignoring you. You go inside the house to watch some T.V.
After a few hours of restless boredom you decided to go back and check up on his work. You find the Spiky Haired Guy slumped over the counter, snoozing in a really awkward position. You punch him.
' OW! Whu-wha? Oh shit, guess I had too many shots of vodka mixed with rhino tranquilizers. Right, I did a lot of that... science stuff and the MacGuffin you fetched has pointed to the location of the next one. It's this boring-ass planet called Earth. Ugh. Better you than me, kid.' He sets the position on your portal device and:
*ZWOOP*
You're in a weird, weird place. A huge crowd of people are constantly walking around you speaking in some horrific screeching language you can't comprehend. The readings on your portal device point towards this tall metal structure infront of you, so you just start climbing the side. You make it to the landing where you see some people get off from an elevator.
Oh.
You head to where your device starts beeping, but find nothing - that's weird. A soft scrunch beneath your feet alerts you to a note, stuck on your boots. The note outlines a plot to smuggle out the MacGuffin into the hands of a 'Mr. X' which you presume is a crappy codename for the traitor you've been seeking. It also mentions the next dead-drop location at a place called Egypt, and signs off simply with '-C.S.' at the end. Curious.
You're about ready to plop a portal to the other side of the planet when the ground shakes violently beneath you! AHHHHHH!! You're thrown off the tower entirely, and fall a good 60 feet to your death. Lucky, your plot immunity kicks in and revives you in time to face off against the now-living Eiffel Tower!	(TITAN 5: 'WALDERP' HAS ENTERED THE WORLD OF NGU. FIND HIM WANDERING YOUR MENUS... IF YOU CAN!)
(You've also unlocked a new zone: Badly Drawn World!)
As much as it pains your soul, you dispatch the evil Badly Drawn Kitty and get the hell out of there...
*ZWOOP*
...and toss the MacGuffin at the Spiky Haired Guy. 'Sweet, 2 down, 4 to go' He uses some fancy tools of his to examine the MacGuffin for a while, completely ignoring you. You go inside the house to watch some T.V.
After a few hours of restless boredom you decided to go back and check up on his work. You find the Spiky Haired Guy slumped over the counter, snoozing in a really awkward position. You punch him.
' OW! Whu-wha? Oh shit, guess I had too many shots of vodka mixed with rhino tranquilizers. Right, I did a lot of that... science stuff and the MacGuffin you fetched has pointed to the location of the next one. It's this boring-ass planet called Earth. Ugh. Better you than me, kid.' He sets the position on your portal device and:
*ZWOOP*
You're in a weird, weird place. A huge crowd of people are constantly walking around you speaking in some horrific screeching language you can't comprehend. The readings on your portal device point towards this tall metal structure infront of you, so you just start climbing the side. You make it to the landing where you see some people get off from an elevator.
Oh.
You head to where your device starts beeping, but find nothing - that's weird. A soft scrunch beneath your feet alerts you to a note, stuck on your boots. The note outlines a plot to smuggle out the MacGuffin into the hands of a 'Mr. X' which you presume is a crappy codename for the traitor you've been seeking. It also mentions the next dead-drop location at a place called Egypt, and signs off simply with '-C.S.' at the end. Curious.
You're about ready to plop a portal to the other side of the planet when the ground shakes violently beneath you! AHHHHHH!! You're thrown off the tower entirely, and fall a good 60 feet to your death. Lucky, your plot immunity kicks in and revives you in time to face off against the now-living Eiffel Tower!
 	1.984E1151.068E1151.984E116 	A Mummy 	10 	
 	You feebly attempt to scramble away from the massive tower as it slowly teeters and crashes right on top of you! At the last second you remember your portal device and - *ZWOOP*
The tower collapses where you were just seconds after you manage to escape! Now you're in a really dry and HOT as hell spot. It hasn't even been a minute and you're sweating - fortunately you're about to reach the shade of a 300 foot tall pyramid. Two weird looking guys with bandages all over their bodies are holding a neon sign near the entrance, which says 'This Way to Infinity MacGuffin' How convenient! You thank the fellows as you step inside. One nods his head and grins as you enter, its gauze wrappings flapping behind in the breeze.
It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust, but then you see this hallway quickly reaches a dead end where another sign stands. When you get closer you realize it reads 'Sucker ;)'. OH CRAP! You turn around to head back out the exit but the one guy holding the sign is there, arms outstretched. IT'S A MUMMY! How on earth did these geniuses managed to trick you? Be very careful fighting these guys! 	You feebly attempt to scramble away from the massive tower as it slowly teeters and crashes right on top of you! At the last second you remember your portal device and - *ZWOOP*
The tower collapses where you were just seconds after you manage to escape! Now you're in a really dry and HOT as hell spot. It hasn't even been a minute and you're sweating - fortunately you're about to reach the shade of a 300 foot tall pyramid. Two weird looking guys with bandages all over their bodies are holding a neon sign near the entrance, which says 'This Way to Infinity MacGuffin' How convenient! You thank the fellows as you step inside. One nods his head and grins as you enter, its gauze wrappings flapping behind in the breeze.
It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust, but then you see this hallway quickly reaches a dead end where another sign stands. When you get closer you realize it reads 'Sucker ;)'. OH CRAP! You turn around to head back out the exit but the one guy holding the sign is there, arms outstretched. IT'S A MUMMY! How on earth did these geniuses managed to trick you? Be very careful fighting these guys! 	You feebly attempt to scramble away from the massive tower as it slowly teeters and crashes right on top of you! At the last second you remember your portal device and - *ZWOOP*
The tower collapses where you were just seconds after you manage to escape! Now you're in a really dry and HOT as hell spot. It hasn't even been a minute and you're sweating - fortunately you're about to reach the shade of a 300 foot tall pyramid. Two weird looking guys with bandages all over their bodies are holding a neon sign near the entrance, which says 'This Way to Infinity MacGuffin' How convenient! You thank the fellows as you step inside. One nods his head and grins as you enter, its gauze wrappings flapping behind in the breeze.
It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust, but then you see this hallway quickly reaches a dead end where another sign stands. When you get closer you realize it reads 'Sucker ;)'. OH CRAP! You turn around to head back out the exit but the one guy holding the sign is there, arms outstretched. IT'S A MUMMY! How on earth did these geniuses managed to trick you? Be very careful fighting these guys! 	You feebly attempt to scramble away from the massive tower as it slowly teeters and crashes right on top of you! At the last second you remember your portal device and - *ZWOOP*
The tower collapses where you were just seconds after you manage to escape! Now you're in a really dry and HOT as hell spot. It hasn't even been a minute and you're sweating - fortunately you're about to reach the shade of a 300 foot tall pyramid. Two weird looking guys with bandages all over their bodies are holding a neon sign near the entrance, which says 'This Way to Infinity MacGuffin' How convenient! You thank the fellows as you step inside. One nods his head and grins as you enter, its gauze wrappings flapping behind in the breeze.
It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust, but then you see this hallway quickly reaches a dead end where another sign stands. When you get closer you realize it reads 'Sucker ;)'. OH CRAP! You turn around to head back out the exit but the one guy holding the sign is there, arms outstretched. IT'S A MUMMY! How on earth did these geniuses managed to trick you? Be very careful fighting these guys!
 	1.984E1161.068E1161.984E117 	A Daddy 	10 	
 	I'm legally obligated to make these stupid puns at this point. 	I'm legally obligated to make these stupid puns at this point. 	I'm legally obligated to make these stupid puns at this point. 	I'm legally obligated to make these stupid puns at this point.
 	1.984E1171.068E1171.984E118 	Two Bananas In Pyjamas 	10 	Bananas in Pyjamas
 	After dispatching those bandaged jerks, you decide (against common sense) to head back into the pyramid to check for any clues. Sure enough, you find another scrumpled paper behind the sign at the end. You take it back outside to decipher it, leading you to - 
*ZWOOP*
-Some low-budget T.V set? You have no idea where you are right now. Its pretty damn colorful, and the walls have some stylish, funky purple wallpaper. Cool! You start looking around for any clues as to who or where this 'C.S' person is, but you're stumped. You're about to give up when two 6-foot tall bananas wearing pyjamas march in from the front door. 'Hey there friend, maybe WE can help you?' they turn to look at each other and giggle. You crack your knuckles and advance on them. 	After dispatching those bandaged jerks, you decide (against common sense) to head back into the pyramid to check for any clues. Sure enough, you find another scrumpled paper behind the sign at the end. You take it back outside to decipher it, leading you to - 
*ZWOOP*
-Some low-budget T.V set? You have no idea where you are right now. Its pretty damn colorful, and the walls have some stylish, funky purple wallpaper. Cool! You start looking around for any clues as to who or where this 'C.S' person is, but you're stumped. You're about to give up when two 6-foot tall bananas wearing pyjamas march in from the front door. 'Hey there friend, maybe WE can help you?' they turn to look at each other and giggle. You crack your knuckles and advance on them. 	After dispatching those bandaged jerks, you decide (against common sense) to head back into the pyramid to check for any clues. Sure enough, you find another scrumpled paper behind the sign at the end. You take it back outside to decipher it, leading you to - 
*ZWOOP*
-Some low-budget T.V set? You have no idea where you are right now. Its pretty damn colorful, and the walls have some stylish, funky purple wallpaper. Cool! You start looking around for any clues as to who or where this 'C.S' person is, but you're stumped. You're about to give up when two 6-foot tall bananas wearing pyjamas march in from the front door. 'Hey there friend, maybe WE can help you?' they turn to look at each other and giggle. You crack your knuckles and advance on them. 	After dispatching those bandaged jerks, you decide (against common sense) to head back into the pyramid to check for any clues. Sure enough, you find another scrumpled paper behind the sign at the end. You take it back outside to decipher it, leading you to - 
*ZWOOP*
-Some low-budget T.V set? You have no idea where you are right now. Its pretty damn colorful, and the walls have some stylish, funky purple wallpaper. Cool! You start looking around for any clues as to who or where this 'C.S' person is, but you're stumped. You're about to give up when two 6-foot tall bananas wearing pyjamas march in from the front door. 'Hey there friend, maybe WE can help you?' they turn to look at each other and giggle. You crack your knuckles and advance on them.
 	1.984E1181.068E1181.984E119 	Giant Raisins From California 	10 	The California Raisins
 	You loot through their Banana-y corpses and find another note from this mysterious figure. It really feels like you're hot on their trail now! 
*ZWOOP*
And you land with a thud on your back, directly on the pavement in the scorching hot California sun. You yelp in pain and hop up to your feet immediately - Yowch! You dive into a random alleyway just to escape the brutal heat... and hear a peculiar voice from a nearby dumpster. We heard through the grapevine that you're lookin' for ya next clue?' Four giant shrivelled up raisins are giving you a mischievous grin, one of them flapping a small piece of paper in their weird little hands.
S 	You loot through their Banana-y corpses and find another note from this mysterious figure. It really feels like you're hot on their trail now! 
*ZWOOP*
And you land with a thud on your back, directly on the pavement in the scorching hot California sun. You yelp in pain and hop up to your feet immediately - Yowch! You dive into a random alleyway just to escape the brutal heat... and hear a peculiar voice from a nearby dumpster. We heard through the grapevine that you're lookin' for ya next clue?' Four giant shrivelled up raisins are giving you a mischievous grin, one of them flapping a small piece of paper in their weird little hands.
S 	You loot through their Banana-y corpses and find another note from this mysterious figure. It really feels like you're hot on their trail now! 
*ZWOOP*
And you land with a thud on your back, directly on the pavement in the scorching hot California sun. You yelp in pain and hop up to your feet immediately - Yowch! You dive into a random alleyway just to escape the brutal heat... and hear a peculiar voice from a nearby dumpster. We heard through the grapevine that you're lookin' for ya next clue?' Four giant shrivelled up raisins are giving you a mischievous grin, one of them flapping a small piece of paper in their weird little hands.
S 	You loot through their Banana-y corpses and find another note from this mysterious figure. It really feels like you're hot on their trail now! 
*ZWOOP*
And you land with a thud on your back, directly on the pavement in the scorching hot California sun. You yelp in pain and hop up to your feet immediately - Yowch! You dive into a random alleyway just to escape the brutal heat... and hear a peculiar voice from a nearby dumpster. We heard through the grapevine that you're lookin' for ya next clue?' Four giant shrivelled up raisins are giving you a mischievous grin, one of them flapping a small piece of paper in their weird little hands.
S
 	1.984E1191.068E1191.984E120 	An Annoying Penguin 	10 	Pingu
 	You squish the raisins beneath your boots and steal the note from them. Little assholes. With a sigh of relief you realize 'C.S' is heading for the far north of the planet! You'll take freezing cold over scorching hot right about now.
*ZWOOP*
You have no idea why this person wants to hop around all over the world but you feel you're just about caught up to them, whatever they're planning. You wander around for a bit until you see a couple of igloos surrounding a hole in the ice. Since its about the only interesting thing around in sight you head on over to investigate. When you get closer you spot a small group of penguins, one of them fishing - how the heck can it do that? It doesn't even have freakin' arms! Plot holes aside you see the one penguin get a tug on the line and it pulls out - a soggy note?! The penguin immediately snatches it up and seems to be contemplating eating it. You rush over and dive for the note but the penguin spots you just in time to pull it away from your grasp, taunting and laughing at you you with an annoying 'HOOT HOOT!' Time to show this penguin who's higher up on the food chain. 	You squish the raisins beneath your boots and steal the note from them. Little assholes. With a sigh of relief you realize 'C.S' is heading for the far north of the planet! You'll take freezing cold over scorching hot right about now.
*ZWOOP*
You have no idea why this person wants to hop around all over the world but you feel you're just about caught up to them, whatever they're planning. You wander around for a bit until you see a couple of igloos surrounding a hole in the ice. Since its about the only interesting thing around in sight you head on over to investigate. When you get closer you spot a small group of penguins, one of them fishing - how the heck can it do that? It doesn't even have freakin' arms! Plot holes aside you see the one penguin get a tug on the line and it pulls out - a soggy note?! The penguin immediately snatches it up and seems to be contemplating eating it. You rush over and dive for the note but the penguin spots you just in time to pull it away from your grasp, taunting and laughing at you you with an annoying 'HOOT HOOT!' Time to show this penguin who's higher up on the food chain. 	You squish the raisins beneath your boots and steal the note from them. Little assholes. With a sigh of relief you realize 'C.S' is heading for the far north of the planet! You'll take freezing cold over scorching hot right about now.
*ZWOOP*
You have no idea why this person wants to hop around all over the world but you feel you're just about caught up to them, whatever they're planning. You wander around for a bit until you see a couple of igloos surrounding a hole in the ice. Since its about the only interesting thing around in sight you head on over to investigate. When you get closer you spot a small group of penguins, one of them fishing - how the heck can it do that? It doesn't even have freakin' arms! Plot holes aside you see the one penguin get a tug on the line and it pulls out - a soggy note?! The penguin immediately snatches it up and seems to be contemplating eating it. You rush over and dive for the note but the penguin spots you just in time to pull it away from your grasp, taunting and laughing at you you with an annoying 'HOOT HOOT!' Time to show this penguin who's higher up on the food chain. 	You squish the raisins beneath your boots and steal the note from them. Little assholes. With a sigh of relief you realize 'C.S' is heading for the far north of the planet! You'll take freezing cold over scorching hot right about now.
*ZWOOP*
You have no idea why this person wants to hop around all over the world but you feel you're just about caught up to them, whatever they're planning. You wander around for a bit until you see a couple of igloos surrounding a hole in the ice. Since its about the only interesting thing around in sight you head on over to investigate. When you get closer you spot a small group of penguins, one of them fishing - how the heck can it do that? It doesn't even have freakin' arms! Plot holes aside you see the one penguin get a tug on the line and it pulls out - a soggy note?! The penguin immediately snatches it up and seems to be contemplating eating it. You rush over and dive for the note but the penguin spots you just in time to pull it away from your grasp, taunting and laughing at you you with an annoying 'HOOT HOOT!' Time to show this penguin who's higher up on the food chain.
 	1.984E1201.068E1201.984E121 	An Army of Annoying Penguins 	10 	
 	You take the note from the penguin and give it another kick for good measure. He runs away NOOT-ing. God dammit. You scan the note... it appears that 'C.S' has finally tracked the MacGuffin and they're heading for it now! Oh shit! You still need to decipher where in the world this location refers to but you've got company. A giant army of penguins are rushing towards you, lead by that annoying little bastard! 	You take the note from the penguin and give it another kick for good measure. He runs away NOOT-ing. God dammit. You scan the note... it appears that 'C.S' has finally tracked the MacGuffin and they're heading for it now! Oh shit! You still need to decipher where in the world this location refers to but you've got company. A giant army of penguins are rushing towards you, lead by that annoying little bastard! 	You take the note from the penguin and give it another kick for good measure. He runs away NOOT-ing. God dammit. You scan the note... it appears that 'C.S' has finally tracked the MacGuffin and they're heading for it now! Oh shit! You still need to decipher where in the world this location refers to but you've got company. A giant army of penguins are rushing towards you, lead by that annoying little bastard! 	You take the note from the penguin and give it another kick for good measure. He runs away NOOT-ing. God dammit. You scan the note... it appears that 'C.S' has finally tracked the MacGuffin and they're heading for it now! Oh shit! You still need to decipher where in the world this location refers to but you've got company. A giant army of penguins are rushing towards you, lead by that annoying little bastard!
 	1.984E1211.068E1211.984E122 	The Elusive 'C.S' 	11 	Carmen Sandiego
 	You have never been covered in more bird guts in your life, except for that time around boss 44 or 45.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily, this portal seems to clean you off every time you step through it. Once again in your life you have no clue where you are, but it looks like some sort of cave deep underground. You can see pools of magma nearby, cool! Up ahead is a large chamber, where an enormous Easter-Island statue thingy lies, flanked by two spectacular waterfalls of molten lava! You're almost mesmerized by the sight, until you see a small figure climbing up the statue. Gasp! A woman in a red trenchcoat is prying something off the center of its forehead - this has to be the elusive C.S! You rush up ahead to catch her in the act and steal back that MacGuffin! 	You have never been covered in more bird guts in your life, except for that time around boss 44 or 45.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily, this portal seems to clean you off every time you step through it. Once again in your life you have no clue where you are, but it looks like some sort of cave deep underground. You can see pools of magma nearby, cool! Up ahead is a large chamber, where an enormous Easter-Island statue thingy lies, flanked by two spectacular waterfalls of molten lava! You're almost mesmerized by the sight, until you see a small figure climbing up the statue. Gasp! A woman in a red trenchcoat is prying something off the center of its forehead - this has to be the elusive C.S! You rush up ahead to catch her in the act and steal back that MacGuffin! 	You have never been covered in more bird guts in your life, except for that time around boss 44 or 45.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily, this portal seems to clean you off every time you step through it. Once again in your life you have no clue where you are, but it looks like some sort of cave deep underground. You can see pools of magma nearby, cool! Up ahead is a large chamber, where an enormous Easter-Island statue thingy lies, flanked by two spectacular waterfalls of molten lava! You're almost mesmerized by the sight, until you see a small figure climbing up the statue. Gasp! A woman in a red trenchcoat is prying something off the center of its forehead - this has to be the elusive C.S! You rush up ahead to catch her in the act and steal back that MacGuffin! 	You have never been covered in more bird guts in your life, except for that time around boss 44 or 45.
*ZWOOP*
Luckily, this portal seems to clean you off every time you step through it. Once again in your life you have no clue where you are, but it looks like some sort of cave deep underground. You can see pools of magma nearby, cool! Up ahead is a large chamber, where an enormous Easter-Island statue thingy lies, flanked by two spectacular waterfalls of molten lava! You're almost mesmerized by the sight, until you see a small figure climbing up the statue. Gasp! A woman in a red trenchcoat is prying something off the center of its forehead - this has to be the elusive C.S! You rush up ahead to catch her in the act and steal back that MacGuffin!
 	1.984E1221.068E1221.984E123 	Chocolate Mouse 	11 	
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Boring-Ass Earth!)
*ZWOOP*
You portal back to the spiky dude's garage and bounce the MacGuffin at his face before collapsing into the fetal position- that problem was so AWFUL. Though, after a few minutes of sucking your thumb and surpressing all your trauma later, you feel good as new! The Spiky Hair Guy Delivers some more of his top notch exposition, but you're mastered the art of not giving a crap what he says. Instead, you find yourself lost in your own thoughts. Just WHO is this traitor guy? You feel like you knew them so well before...
The phrase 'Chocolate World' floats through your ears and sends you crashing back to reality. 'So as I just said, you get a vacation to *urrp* Chocolate World for this next MacGuffin. Just a warning from me: it's not all chocolate!' The Spiky Haired Guy slaps a portal under your feet.
*ZWOOP*
You skid down a slippery chocolate slope and land face down in a puddle. Chocolate sauce flies up your nose and down your throat - it's a great way to choke to death, all things considered. Coughing ang Gasping, you pull yourself out of the fondue puzzle. You seem to be on the outskirts of some medieval looking village, except for the whole chocolate part. A white chocolate mouse skitters onto the path and notices you, seemingly frozen in fear. You count to 3 seconds and aim a punch as it inevitably rushes you, malice and rage flowing through it's little chocolatey body! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Boring-Ass Earth!)
*ZWOOP*
You portal back to the spiky dude's garage and bounce the MacGuffin at his face before collapsing into the fetal position- that problem was so AWFUL. Though, after a few minutes of sucking your thumb and surpressing all your trauma later, you feel good as new! The Spiky Hair Guy Delivers some more of his top notch exposition, but you're mastered the art of not giving a crap what he says. Instead, you find yourself lost in your own thoughts. Just WHO is this traitor guy? You feel like you knew them so well before...
The phrase 'Chocolate World' floats through your ears and sends you crashing back to reality. 'So as I just said, you get a vacation to *urrp* Chocolate World for this next MacGuffin. Just a warning from me: it's not all chocolate!' The Spiky Haired Guy slaps a portal under your feet.
*ZWOOP*
You skid down a slippery chocolate slope and land face down in a puddle. Chocolate sauce flies up your nose and down your throat - it's a great way to choke to death, all things considered. Coughing ang Gasping, you pull yourself out of the fondue puzzle. You seem to be on the outskirts of some medieval looking village, except for the whole chocolate part. A white chocolate mouse skitters onto the path and notices you, seemingly frozen in fear. You count to 3 seconds and aim a punch as it inevitably rushes you, malice and rage flowing through it's little chocolatey body! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Boring-Ass Earth!)
*ZWOOP*
You portal back to the spiky dude's garage and bounce the MacGuffin at his face before collapsing into the fetal position- that problem was so AWFUL. Though, after a few minutes of sucking your thumb and surpressing all your trauma later, you feel good as new! The Spiky Hair Guy Delivers some more of his top notch exposition, but you're mastered the art of not giving a crap what he says. Instead, you find yourself lost in your own thoughts. Just WHO is this traitor guy? You feel like you knew them so well before...
The phrase 'Chocolate World' floats through your ears and sends you crashing back to reality. 'So as I just said, you get a vacation to *urrp* Chocolate World for this next MacGuffin. Just a warning from me: it's not all chocolate!' The Spiky Haired Guy slaps a portal under your feet.
*ZWOOP*
You skid down a slippery chocolate slope and land face down in a puddle. Chocolate sauce flies up your nose and down your throat - it's a great way to choke to death, all things considered. Coughing ang Gasping, you pull yourself out of the fondue puzzle. You seem to be on the outskirts of some medieval looking village, except for the whole chocolate part. A white chocolate mouse skitters onto the path and notices you, seemingly frozen in fear. You count to 3 seconds and aim a punch as it inevitably rushes you, malice and rage flowing through it's little chocolatey body! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Boring-Ass Earth!)
*ZWOOP*
You portal back to the spiky dude's garage and bounce the MacGuffin at his face before collapsing into the fetal position- that problem was so AWFUL. Though, after a few minutes of sucking your thumb and surpressing all your trauma later, you feel good as new! The Spiky Hair Guy Delivers some more of his top notch exposition, but you're mastered the art of not giving a crap what he says. Instead, you find yourself lost in your own thoughts. Just WHO is this traitor guy? You feel like you knew them so well before...
The phrase 'Chocolate World' floats through your ears and sends you crashing back to reality. 'So as I just said, you get a vacation to *urrp* Chocolate World for this next MacGuffin. Just a warning from me: it's not all chocolate!' The Spiky Haired Guy slaps a portal under your feet.
*ZWOOP*
You skid down a slippery chocolate slope and land face down in a puddle. Chocolate sauce flies up your nose and down your throat - it's a great way to choke to death, all things considered. Coughing ang Gasping, you pull yourself out of the fondue puzzle. You seem to be on the outskirts of some medieval looking village, except for the whole chocolate part. A white chocolate mouse skitters onto the path and notices you, seemingly frozen in fear. You count to 3 seconds and aim a punch as it inevitably rushes you, malice and rage flowing through it's little chocolatey body!
 	1.984E1231.068E1231.984E124 	Chocolate Mimic 	11 	
 	You wander down the road towards the main street of the village, munching on the mouse's corpse - white chocolate is your favourite! Before long you see a line of buildings. Perhaps someone here can direct you towards the MacGuffin. As you pass by some buildings, you notice the sign on one quaint little shop - Freeman's Curiosities. And inside you see a chest filled with (probable) chocolate coins! You rush through the door and, ignoring the shop's owner, stuff your grubby little hands into the chest's opening. Before you can put your ill gotten gains into your mouth though, the chest puts it's ill gotten gains into ITS mouth - as in, your arms. Sharp chocolate teeth jab into you as the Mimic tries to seperate your arms from the rest of you! AHHHH! 	You wander down the road towards the main street of the village, munching on the mouse's corpse - white chocolate is your favourite! Before long you see a line of buildings. Perhaps someone here can direct you towards the MacGuffin. As you pass by some buildings, you notice the sign on one quaint little shop - Freeman's Curiosities. And inside you see a chest filled with (probable) chocolate coins! You rush through the door and, ignoring the shop's owner, stuff your grubby little hands into the chest's opening. Before you can put your ill gotten gains into your mouth though, the chest puts it's ill gotten gains into ITS mouth - as in, your arms. Sharp chocolate teeth jab into you as the Mimic tries to seperate your arms from the rest of you! AHHHH! 	You wander down the road towards the main street of the village, munching on the mouse's corpse - white chocolate is your favourite! Before long you see a line of buildings. Perhaps someone here can direct you towards the MacGuffin. As you pass by some buildings, you notice the sign on one quaint little shop - Freeman's Curiosities. And inside you see a chest filled with (probable) chocolate coins! You rush through the door and, ignoring the shop's owner, stuff your grubby little hands into the chest's opening. Before you can put your ill gotten gains into your mouth though, the chest puts it's ill gotten gains into ITS mouth - as in, your arms. Sharp chocolate teeth jab into you as the Mimic tries to seperate your arms from the rest of you! AHHHH! 	You wander down the road towards the main street of the village, munching on the mouse's corpse - white chocolate is your favourite! Before long you see a line of buildings. Perhaps someone here can direct you towards the MacGuffin. As you pass by some buildings, you notice the sign on one quaint little shop - Freeman's Curiosities. And inside you see a chest filled with (probable) chocolate coins! You rush through the door and, ignoring the shop's owner, stuff your grubby little hands into the chest's opening. Before you can put your ill gotten gains into your mouth though, the chest puts it's ill gotten gains into ITS mouth - as in, your arms. Sharp chocolate teeth jab into you as the Mimic tries to seperate your arms from the rest of you! AHHHH!
 	1.984E1241.068E1241.984E125 	Chocolate Crowbar 	11 	
 	You headbutt the Mimic chest until it opens its jaws for a split second in pain - seizing the opportunity you grab a random object in reach and smash the chest about 50 or 60 times, until it becomes a mushy mass of chocolate, gold tin foil and teeth. You collapse to the ground in exhaustion - you have no idea what came over you to care so much about these chocolate coins in an entire UNIVERSE made of the stuff. That's when you realize your hand is suspiciously lacking the heavy stick-thing you used to bludgeon the chest. You look up and see a floating chocolate crowbar rush towards your face! 	You headbutt the Mimic chest until it opens its jaws for a split second in pain - seizing the opportunity you grab a random object in reach and smash the chest about 50 or 60 times, until it becomes a mushy mass of chocolate, gold tin foil and teeth. You collapse to the ground in exhaustion - you have no idea what came over you to care so much about these chocolate coins in an entire UNIVERSE made of the stuff. That's when you realize your hand is suspiciously lacking the heavy stick-thing you used to bludgeon the chest. You look up and see a floating chocolate crowbar rush towards your face! 	You headbutt the Mimic chest until it opens its jaws for a split second in pain - seizing the opportunity you grab a random object in reach and smash the chest about 50 or 60 times, until it becomes a mushy mass of chocolate, gold tin foil and teeth. You collapse to the ground in exhaustion - you have no idea what came over you to care so much about these chocolate coins in an entire UNIVERSE made of the stuff. That's when you realize your hand is suspiciously lacking the heavy stick-thing you used to bludgeon the chest. You look up and see a floating chocolate crowbar rush towards your face! 	You headbutt the Mimic chest until it opens its jaws for a split second in pain - seizing the opportunity you grab a random object in reach and smash the chest about 50 or 60 times, until it becomes a mushy mass of chocolate, gold tin foil and teeth. You collapse to the ground in exhaustion - you have no idea what came over you to care so much about these chocolate coins in an entire UNIVERSE made of the stuff. That's when you realize your hand is suspiciously lacking the heavy stick-thing you used to bludgeon the chest. You look up and see a floating chocolate crowbar rush towards your face!
 	1.984E1251.068E1251.984E126 	Chocolate Freeman 	11 	Half-life
 	You use a bold maneuver that was passed down through the generations in your family, just in case you were attacked by a possessed chocolate crowbar. You wait for its next strike, latch on to the middle with your teeth, and bite clean through! This breaks the spell or whatever, and the two pieces fall to the floor lifeless. You mutter a quiet thanks to your ancestors for passing down some admittedly situational knowledge. As you pick yourself up off the floor of the shop, you see the owner holding a metal crowbar, and he does not look happy. Your ancestors unfortunately didn't know how to handle a real crowbar! 	You use a bold maneuver that was passed down through the generations in your family, just in case you were attacked by a possessed chocolate crowbar. You wait for its next strike, latch on to the middle with your teeth, and bite clean through! This breaks the spell or whatever, and the two pieces fall to the floor lifeless. You mutter a quiet thanks to your ancestors for passing down some admittedly situational knowledge. As you pick yourself up off the floor of the shop, you see the owner holding a metal crowbar, and he does not look happy. Your ancestors unfortunately didn't know how to handle a real crowbar! 	You use a bold maneuver that was passed down through the generations in your family, just in case you were attacked by a possessed chocolate crowbar. You wait for its next strike, latch on to the middle with your teeth, and bite clean through! This breaks the spell or whatever, and the two pieces fall to the floor lifeless. You mutter a quiet thanks to your ancestors for passing down some admittedly situational knowledge. As you pick yourself up off the floor of the shop, you see the owner holding a metal crowbar, and he does not look happy. Your ancestors unfortunately didn't know how to handle a real crowbar! 	You use a bold maneuver that was passed down through the generations in your family, just in case you were attacked by a possessed chocolate crowbar. You wait for its next strike, latch on to the middle with your teeth, and bite clean through! This breaks the spell or whatever, and the two pieces fall to the floor lifeless. You mutter a quiet thanks to your ancestors for passing down some admittedly situational knowledge. As you pick yourself up off the floor of the shop, you see the owner holding a metal crowbar, and he does not look happy. Your ancestors unfortunately didn't know how to handle a real crowbar!
 	1.984E1261.068E1261.984E127 	Chocolate Fondue 	11 	
 	The spectacled store owner gets slammed to the wall, and he almost lets out a grunt of pain. You stand over him and ask Where can I find the Chocolate MacGuffin? His eyes widen in terror at the mention of MacGuffin' and he gets up, grabbing a chocolate map hanging on the wall. It looks like it highlights popular locations for tourists. You ask for specifics but he shakes his head and shrugs. Damn. You consider helping tidy up the shop before leaving but realize you've done enough damage. You take the map and head off.
Your first guess is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate, which is also the closest. A couple hour hike and you're already basking in the glory that is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate - An all-natural fondue structure fuelled by a seemingly endless chocolate spring deep beneath the ground. You come to the logical conclusion you must dive in and beat up the Fondue itself to find the MacGuffin. 	The spectacled store owner gets slammed to the wall, and he almost lets out a grunt of pain. You stand over him and ask Where can I find the Chocolate MacGuffin? His eyes widen in terror at the mention of MacGuffin' and he gets up, grabbing a chocolate map hanging on the wall. It looks like it highlights popular locations for tourists. You ask for specifics but he shakes his head and shrugs. Damn. You consider helping tidy up the shop before leaving but realize you've done enough damage. You take the map and head off.
Your first guess is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate, which is also the closest. A couple hour hike and you're already basking in the glory that is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate - An all-natural fondue structure fuelled by a seemingly endless chocolate spring deep beneath the ground. You come to the logical conclusion you must dive in and beat up the Fondue itself to find the MacGuffin. 	The spectacled store owner gets slammed to the wall, and he almost lets out a grunt of pain. You stand over him and ask Where can I find the Chocolate MacGuffin? His eyes widen in terror at the mention of MacGuffin' and he gets up, grabbing a chocolate map hanging on the wall. It looks like it highlights popular locations for tourists. You ask for specifics but he shakes his head and shrugs. Damn. You consider helping tidy up the shop before leaving but realize you've done enough damage. You take the map and head off.
Your first guess is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate, which is also the closest. A couple hour hike and you're already basking in the glory that is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate - An all-natural fondue structure fuelled by a seemingly endless chocolate spring deep beneath the ground. You come to the logical conclusion you must dive in and beat up the Fondue itself to find the MacGuffin. 	The spectacled store owner gets slammed to the wall, and he almost lets out a grunt of pain. You stand over him and ask Where can I find the Chocolate MacGuffin? His eyes widen in terror at the mention of MacGuffin' and he gets up, grabbing a chocolate map hanging on the wall. It looks like it highlights popular locations for tourists. You ask for specifics but he shakes his head and shrugs. Damn. You consider helping tidy up the shop before leaving but realize you've done enough damage. You take the map and head off.
Your first guess is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate, which is also the closest. A couple hour hike and you're already basking in the glory that is the Neverending Fountain of Chocolate - An all-natural fondue structure fuelled by a seemingly endless chocolate spring deep beneath the ground. You come to the logical conclusion you must dive in and beat up the Fondue itself to find the MacGuffin.
 	1.984E1271.068E1271.984E128 	Chocolate Slime 	11 	
 	Surprisingly, that did absolutely nothing except destroy a treasured natural feature of this world. You really are an arsehole in this story, you know that? You feel a rumble while you're in the fondue, and a giant Chocolate Slime emerges - like that brown slime's bigger, more pissed off cousin. And they've got a good reason to be pissed since you ruined their home! 	Surprisingly, that did absolutely nothing except destroy a treasured natural feature of this world. You really are an arsehole in this story, you know that? You feel a rumble while you're in the fondue, and a giant Chocolate Slime emerges - like that brown slime's bigger, more pissed off cousin. And they've got a good reason to be pissed since you ruined their home! 	Surprisingly, that did absolutely nothing except destroy a treasured natural feature of this world. You really are an arsehole in this story, you know that? You feel a rumble while you're in the fondue, and a giant Chocolate Slime emerges - like that brown slime's bigger, more pissed off cousin. And they've got a good reason to be pissed since you ruined their home! 	Surprisingly, that did absolutely nothing except destroy a treasured natural feature of this world. You really are an arsehole in this story, you know that? You feel a rumble while you're in the fondue, and a giant Chocolate Slime emerges - like that brown slime's bigger, more pissed off cousin. And they've got a good reason to be pissed since you ruined their home!
 	1.984E1281.068E1281.984E129 	Dark Chocolate 	11 	
 	With both the Fondue and Slime beaten to submission, you can now take a moment to explore the bottom of this chocolate pond. You hold your breath and dive down, feeling around for anything that might be the Chocolate MacGuffin. Your hand grasps onto something like a chain, and you yank hard! Suddenly, you feel suction pulling you even deeper,  almost like you're the contents of a toilet. Eventually you're spit out in a dark cavern of chocolate. A small chocolate creature stands in front you with a chocolate torch, looking just about as shocked as you over these recent events. It gets over its surprise quickly however, and attacks! 	With both the Fondue and Slime beaten to submission, you can now take a moment to explore the bottom of this chocolate pond. You hold your breath and dive down, feeling around for anything that might be the Chocolate MacGuffin. Your hand grasps onto something like a chain, and you yank hard! Suddenly, you feel suction pulling you even deeper,  almost like you're the contents of a toilet. Eventually you're spit out in a dark cavern of chocolate. A small chocolate creature stands in front you with a chocolate torch, looking just about as shocked as you over these recent events. It gets over its surprise quickly however, and attacks! 	With both the Fondue and Slime beaten to submission, you can now take a moment to explore the bottom of this chocolate pond. You hold your breath and dive down, feeling around for anything that might be the Chocolate MacGuffin. Your hand grasps onto something like a chain, and you yank hard! Suddenly, you feel suction pulling you even deeper,  almost like you're the contents of a toilet. Eventually you're spit out in a dark cavern of chocolate. A small chocolate creature stands in front you with a chocolate torch, looking just about as shocked as you over these recent events. It gets over its surprise quickly however, and attacks! 	With both the Fondue and Slime beaten to submission, you can now take a moment to explore the bottom of this chocolate pond. You hold your breath and dive down, feeling around for anything that might be the Chocolate MacGuffin. Your hand grasps onto something like a chain, and you yank hard! Suddenly, you feel suction pulling you even deeper,  almost like you're the contents of a toilet. Eventually you're spit out in a dark cavern of chocolate. A small chocolate creature stands in front you with a chocolate torch, looking just about as shocked as you over these recent events. It gets over its surprise quickly however, and attacks!
 	1.984E1291.068E1291.984E130 	Chocolate Salty Balls 	11 	South Park & Raiders of the Lost Ark
 	With the dark chocolate creature defeated, you take its torch and move deeper into the caves. Your instinct tells you this is the right path to take, and when has your instinct gone wrong in the last 14 minutes? A few bends in the path later, and the cave starts to descend at a pretty steep angle. As you start down, you hear the worst noise imaginable in a situation like this - a small click. Behind you, a gigantic, dense, salty chocolate ball thunders down onto the cave path and begins to roll. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! 	With the dark chocolate creature defeated, you take its torch and move deeper into the caves. Your instinct tells you this is the right path to take, and when has your instinct gone wrong in the last 14 minutes? A few bends in the path later, and the cave starts to descend at a pretty steep angle. As you start down, you hear the worst noise imaginable in a situation like this - a small click. Behind you, a gigantic, dense, salty chocolate ball thunders down onto the cave path and begins to roll. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! 	With the dark chocolate creature defeated, you take its torch and move deeper into the caves. Your instinct tells you this is the right path to take, and when has your instinct gone wrong in the last 14 minutes? A few bends in the path later, and the cave starts to descend at a pretty steep angle. As you start down, you hear the worst noise imaginable in a situation like this - a small click. Behind you, a gigantic, dense, salty chocolate ball thunders down onto the cave path and begins to roll. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! 	With the dark chocolate creature defeated, you take its torch and move deeper into the caves. Your instinct tells you this is the right path to take, and when has your instinct gone wrong in the last 14 minutes? A few bends in the path later, and the cave starts to descend at a pretty steep angle. As you start down, you hear the worst noise imaginable in a situation like this - a small click. Behind you, a gigantic, dense, salty chocolate ball thunders down onto the cave path and begins to roll. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!
 	1.984E1301.068E1301.984E131 	Screaming Chocolate Fish 	11 	Spongebob Squarepants
 	(YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST. FACE IT IF YOU... WANT TO FACE A TITAN I GUESS)
You reach the end of the tunnel just in time and dive off to the side- you feel the salty chocolate ball graze your foot and it splashes into an underground chocolate lake! You finally take in where you are right now - a massive underground cave with a lake in the middle, so big that you can't even see the ceiling or the other side. There's a odd, slight buzzing noise that fills the air. As you wander around the edge of the lake, the buzzing becomes louder, and more persistant in your ear. It also feels like it's coming from behind you. You turn around, but you see nothing - wait, something at the edge of your vision catches your attention. Something or someone running towards you. You watch as the buzzing continues to get louder, it almost sounds like a battlecry, a single word being torn from this creature's lungs. Closer and closer it gets until finally you realize that it's a giant fish, and understand what it's screaming.
'CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!' 	(YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST. FACE IT IF YOU... WANT TO FACE A TITAN I GUESS)
You reach the end of the tunnel just in time and dive off to the side- you feel the salty chocolate ball graze your foot and it splashes into an underground chocolate lake! You finally take in where you are right now - a massive underground cave with a lake in the middle, so big that you can't even see the ceiling or the other side. There's a odd, slight buzzing noise that fills the air. As you wander around the edge of the lake, the buzzing becomes louder, and more persistant in your ear. It also feels like it's coming from behind you. You turn around, but you see nothing - wait, something at the edge of your vision catches your attention. Something or someone running towards you. You watch as the buzzing continues to get louder, it almost sounds like a battlecry, a single word being torn from this creature's lungs. Closer and closer it gets until finally you realize that it's a giant fish, and understand what it's screaming.
'CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!' 	(YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST. FACE IT IF YOU... WANT TO FACE A TITAN I GUESS)
You reach the end of the tunnel just in time and dive off to the side- you feel the salty chocolate ball graze your foot and it splashes into an underground chocolate lake! You finally take in where you are right now - a massive underground cave with a lake in the middle, so big that you can't even see the ceiling or the other side. There's a odd, slight buzzing noise that fills the air. As you wander around the edge of the lake, the buzzing becomes louder, and more persistant in your ear. It also feels like it's coming from behind you. You turn around, but you see nothing - wait, something at the edge of your vision catches your attention. Something or someone running towards you. You watch as the buzzing continues to get louder, it almost sounds like a battlecry, a single word being torn from this creature's lungs. Closer and closer it gets until finally you realize that it's a giant fish, and understand what it's screaming.
'CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!' 	(YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST. FACE IT IF YOU... WANT TO FACE A TITAN I GUESS)
You reach the end of the tunnel just in time and dive off to the side- you feel the salty chocolate ball graze your foot and it splashes into an underground chocolate lake! You finally take in where you are right now - a massive underground cave with a lake in the middle, so big that you can't even see the ceiling or the other side. There's a odd, slight buzzing noise that fills the air. As you wander around the edge of the lake, the buzzing becomes louder, and more persistant in your ear. It also feels like it's coming from behind you. You turn around, but you see nothing - wait, something at the edge of your vision catches your attention. Something or someone running towards you. You watch as the buzzing continues to get louder, it almost sounds like a battlecry, a single word being torn from this creature's lungs. Closer and closer it gets until finally you realize that it's a giant fish, and understand what it's screaming.
'CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!'
 	1.984E1311.068E1311.984E132 	A Mighty Lump of Poo 	12 	Conker's Bad Fur Day
 	Screaming in abject fear, you rip the demon fish off the wall, stomp on it, and toss it in the lake. This causes the lake to bubble violently, of course, because I have to chain these silly bosses together somehow. Give me a break. Anyways, in the middle of the lake a giant lumpy creature emerges! It sings in a deep baritone voice about how mighty it is and also how dead you're gonna be in a moment. Crap. 	Screaming in abject fear, you rip the demon fish off the wall, stomp on it, and toss it in the lake. This causes the lake to bubble violently, of course, because I have to chain these silly bosses together somehow. Give me a break. Anyways, in the middle of the lake a giant lumpy creature emerges! It sings in a deep baritone voice about how mighty it is and also how dead you're gonna be in a moment. Crap. 	Screaming in abject fear, you rip the demon fish off the wall, stomp on it, and toss it in the lake. This causes the lake to bubble violently, of course, because I have to chain these silly bosses together somehow. Give me a break. Anyways, in the middle of the lake a giant lumpy creature emerges! It sings in a deep baritone voice about how mighty it is and also how dead you're gonna be in a moment. Crap. 	Screaming in abject fear, you rip the demon fish off the wall, stomp on it, and toss it in the lake. This causes the lake to bubble violently, of course, because I have to chain these silly bosses together somehow. Give me a break. Anyways, in the middle of the lake a giant lumpy creature emerges! It sings in a deep baritone voice about how mighty it is and also how dead you're gonna be in a moment. Crap.
 	1.984E1321.068E1321.984E133 	Melted Chocolate Blob (?) 	12 	
 	One epic battle involving bits of corn and a comically oversized roll of toilet paper later, and the mighty creature is not so mighty anymore! Its defeat drains the lake as well and you're starting to wonder if the creator of this universe just copy pasted some poorly made code to be lazy :/
You drop down the hole and before long find yourself in an antechamber. You see a chest at the very end, with a very weird chocolate blob creature about to open. You let out a ear-deafening whistler and it looks around, woth a lopsided grin. It looks deformed, yet so familiar and it makes you furious!!! You see black, and rush towards the blob to smash it to bits! 	One epic battle involving bits of corn and a comically oversized roll of toilet paper later, and the mighty creature is not so mighty anymore! Its defeat drains the lake as well and you're starting to wonder if the creator of this universe just copy pasted some poorly made code to be lazy :/
You drop down the hole and before long find yourself in an antechamber. You see a chest at the very end, with a very weird chocolate blob creature about to open. You let out a ear-deafening whistler and it looks around, woth a lopsided grin. It looks deformed, yet so familiar and it makes you furious!!! You see black, and rush towards the blob to smash it to bits! 	One epic battle involving bits of corn and a comically oversized roll of toilet paper later, and the mighty creature is not so mighty anymore! Its defeat drains the lake as well and you're starting to wonder if the creator of this universe just copy pasted some poorly made code to be lazy :/
You drop down the hole and before long find yourself in an antechamber. You see a chest at the very end, with a very weird chocolate blob creature about to open. You let out a ear-deafening whistler and it looks around, woth a lopsided grin. It looks deformed, yet so familiar and it makes you furious!!! You see black, and rush towards the blob to smash it to bits! 	One epic battle involving bits of corn and a comically oversized roll of toilet paper later, and the mighty creature is not so mighty anymore! Its defeat drains the lake as well and you're starting to wonder if the creator of this universe just copy pasted some poorly made code to be lazy :/
You drop down the hole and before long find yourself in an antechamber. You see a chest at the very end, with a very weird chocolate blob creature about to open. You let out a ear-deafening whistler and it looks around, woth a lopsided grin. It looks deformed, yet so familiar and it makes you furious!!! You see black, and rush towards the blob to smash it to bits!
 	1.984E1331.068E1331.984E134 	Choco Golem 	12 	
 	With one final blow before you render this chocolate blob useless, it pulls out a sheet of paper and flings it in the air. It flutters to the ground, and in its place materializes a hulking Chocolate monstrosity! It pounds its fists together and lunges for you. Looks like the fight's not over yet! 	With one final blow before you render this chocolate blob useless, it pulls out a sheet of paper and flings it in the air. It flutters to the ground, and in its place materializes a hulking Chocolate monstrosity! It pounds its fists together and lunges for you. Looks like the fight's not over yet! 	With one final blow before you render this chocolate blob useless, it pulls out a sheet of paper and flings it in the air. It flutters to the ground, and in its place materializes a hulking Chocolate monstrosity! It pounds its fists together and lunges for you. Looks like the fight's not over yet! 	With one final blow before you render this chocolate blob useless, it pulls out a sheet of paper and flings it in the air. It flutters to the ground, and in its place materializes a hulking Chocolate monstrosity! It pounds its fists together and lunges for you. Looks like the fight's not over yet!
 	1.984E1341.068E1341.984E135 	Type 2 Diabetes 	12 	
 	The golem crumbles into chocolate dust, and finally, all is silent. Just you and the chest remain. You feel your hands shaking - what is wrong with you? That creature nearly drove you insane with rage You shake it off for now - You have a mission to complete! You walk up to the chest and slowly open it, just in case it's another Mimic.
Spoilers: it's not.
You reach inside and pull out the chocolate MacGuffin, and feel a tremendous surge of power inside you - another step closer to reaching your full fighting potential! However, a cloud of brown chocolate dust rises from the chest as well, and speaks in a booming voice that sends a jolt of memory through you - you were responsible for sealing this being away many years ago! For this is... the spirit of TYPE 2 DIABETES!.
'YOU. YOU WHO SEALED ME AWAY HAVE FOOLISHLY RELEASED ME. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!' You have to reseal it or it will unleash type 2 diabetes onto the whole universe! 	The golem crumbles into chocolate dust, and finally, all is silent. Just you and the chest remain. You feel your hands shaking - what is wrong with you? That creature nearly drove you insane with rage You shake it off for now - You have a mission to complete! You walk up to the chest and slowly open it, just in case it's another Mimic.
Spoilers: it's not.
You reach inside and pull out the chocolate MacGuffin, and feel a tremendous surge of power inside you - another step closer to reaching your full fighting potential! However, a cloud of brown chocolate dust rises from the chest as well, and speaks in a booming voice that sends a jolt of memory through you - you were responsible for sealing this being away many years ago! For this is... the spirit of TYPE 2 DIABETES!.
'YOU. YOU WHO SEALED ME AWAY HAVE FOOLISHLY RELEASED ME. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!' You have to reseal it or it will unleash type 2 diabetes onto the whole universe! 	The golem crumbles into chocolate dust, and finally, all is silent. Just you and the chest remain. You feel your hands shaking - what is wrong with you? That creature nearly drove you insane with rage You shake it off for now - You have a mission to complete! You walk up to the chest and slowly open it, just in case it's another Mimic.
Spoilers: it's not.
You reach inside and pull out the chocolate MacGuffin, and feel a tremendous surge of power inside you - another step closer to reaching your full fighting potential! However, a cloud of brown chocolate dust rises from the chest as well, and speaks in a booming voice that sends a jolt of memory through you - you were responsible for sealing this being away many years ago! For this is... the spirit of TYPE 2 DIABETES!.
'YOU. YOU WHO SEALED ME AWAY HAVE FOOLISHLY RELEASED ME. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!' You have to reseal it or it will unleash type 2 diabetes onto the whole universe! 	The golem crumbles into chocolate dust, and finally, all is silent. Just you and the chest remain. You feel your hands shaking - what is wrong with you? That creature nearly drove you insane with rage You shake it off for now - You have a mission to complete! You walk up to the chest and slowly open it, just in case it's another Mimic.
Spoilers: it's not.
You reach inside and pull out the chocolate MacGuffin, and feel a tremendous surge of power inside you - another step closer to reaching your full fighting potential! However, a cloud of brown chocolate dust rises from the chest as well, and speaks in a booming voice that sends a jolt of memory through you - you were responsible for sealing this being away many years ago! For this is... the spirit of TYPE 2 DIABETES!.
'YOU. YOU WHO SEALED ME AWAY HAVE FOOLISHLY RELEASED ME. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!' You have to reseal it or it will unleash type 2 diabetes onto the whole universe!
 	1.984E1351.068E1351.984E136 	A Giant Probe 	12 	Story: Luigi's Mansion
Boss: Voyager Probes
 	With every blow the spirit of type 2 Diabetes seems to grow stronger, and soon will overwhelm you! From behind you hear a nervous voice shriek 'Mario?!' You turn around and spot a goofy looking man with a 70's porn 'stache and an even goofier looking vacuum cleaner in his hands. AHA! You snatch the vacuum cleaner from this dork and start slurping up the diabetes cloud! The spirit is completely helpless as it disappears into the vacuum bag. Quickly you dump it in the chest and close the lid, sealing it away for another millennium or so. The mustache'd man looks at you with a mix of fear and anger, but you don't have time to deal with him!
*ZWOOP*
You stash the Chocolate MacGuffin away at the Spiky Haired Man's place gingerly- seems like he had a party while you were gone and is passed out on the floor, a bag of crystals and countless bottles of Alderbaran Rum litter the floor. You spot a device of some sort by his hands, lights blinking in an awesome sci-fi way. The top of the device reads 'Exposition-o-Matic 5000'. That's when you realize - this readout on the device indicates not just where the next MacGuffin is, but that the Traitor is working their way to it personally!
You've gotta confront this Traitor once and for all!
*ZWOOP*
This place looks like it's on the very edge of reality itself. Shapeless masses form and congeal and turn back into cosmic ooze all around you, and occasionally bits of reality blip in and out of existence. You're not sure how but you seem able to will the ground into existence beneath your feet if you focus. As you follow the readout to the next MacGuffin...
*BLOOP*
A futuristic starship warps into this reality. Clearly disoriented, you see scan beams shoot out from the ship along with several probes. One of these probes flies up to you and starts to scan you as well. The scan beam makes contact with you for hardly a second before the probe glows red- and starts powerup up something inside! Oh crap!	With every blow the spirit of type 2 Diabetes seems to grow stronger, and soon will overwhelm you! From behind you hear a nervous voice shriek 'Mario?!' You turn around and spot a goofy looking man with a 70's porn 'stache and an even goofier looking vacuum cleaner in his hands. AHA! You snatch the vacuum cleaner from this dork and start slurping up the diabetes cloud! The spirit is completely helpless as it disappears into the vacuum bag. Quickly you dump it in the chest and close the lid, sealing it away for another millennium or so. The mustache'd man looks at you with a mix of fear and anger, but you don't have time to deal with him!
*ZWOOP*
You stash the Chocolate MacGuffin away at the Spiky Haired Man's place gingerly- seems like he had a party while you were gone and is passed out on the floor, a bag of crystals and countless bottles of Alderbaran Rum litter the floor. You spot a device of some sort by his hands, lights blinking in an awesome sci-fi way. The top of the device reads 'Exposition-o-Matic 5000'. That's when you realize - this readout on the device indicates not just where the next MacGuffin is, but that the Traitor is working their way to it personally!
You've gotta confront this Traitor once and for all!
*ZWOOP*
This place looks like it's on the very edge of reality itself. Shapeless masses form and congeal and turn back into cosmic ooze all around you, and occasionally bits of reality blip in and out of existence. You're not sure how but you seem able to will the ground into existence beneath your feet if you focus. As you follow the readout to the next MacGuffin...
*BLOOP*
A futuristic starship warps into this reality. Clearly disoriented, you see scan beams shoot out from the ship along with several probes. One of these probes flies up to you and starts to scan you as well. The scan beam makes contact with you for hardly a second before the probe glows red- and starts powerup up something inside! Oh crap!	With every blow the spirit of type 2 Diabetes seems to grow stronger, and soon will overwhelm you! From behind you hear a nervous voice shriek 'Mario?!' You turn around and spot a goofy looking man with a 70's porn 'stache and an even goofier looking vacuum cleaner in his hands. AHA! You snatch the vacuum cleaner from this dork and start slurping up the diabetes cloud! The spirit is completely helpless as it disappears into the vacuum bag. Quickly you dump it in the chest and close the lid, sealing it away for another millennium or so. The mustache'd man looks at you with a mix of fear and anger, but you don't have time to deal with him!
*ZWOOP*
You stash the Chocolate MacGuffin away at the Spiky Haired Man's place gingerly- seems like he had a party while you were gone and is passed out on the floor, a bag of crystals and countless bottles of Alderbaran Rum litter the floor. You spot a device of some sort by his hands, lights blinking in an awesome sci-fi way. The top of the device reads 'Exposition-o-Matic 5000'. That's when you realize - this readout on the device indicates not just where the next MacGuffin is, but that the Traitor is working their way to it personally!
You've gotta confront this Traitor once and for all!
*ZWOOP*
This place looks like it's on the very edge of reality itself. Shapeless masses form and congeal and turn back into cosmic ooze all around you, and occasionally bits of reality blip in and out of existence. You're not sure how but you seem able to will the ground into existence beneath your feet if you focus. As you follow the readout to the next MacGuffin...
*BLOOP*
A futuristic starship warps into this reality. Clearly disoriented, you see scan beams shoot out from the ship along with several probes. One of these probes flies up to you and starts to scan you as well. The scan beam makes contact with you for hardly a second before the probe glows red- and starts powerup up something inside! Oh crap!	With every blow the spirit of type 2 Diabetes seems to grow stronger, and soon will overwhelm you! From behind you hear a nervous voice shriek 'Mario?!' You turn around and spot a goofy looking man with a 70's porn 'stache and an even goofier looking vacuum cleaner in his hands. AHA! You snatch the vacuum cleaner from this dork and start slurping up the diabetes cloud! The spirit is completely helpless as it disappears into the vacuum bag. Quickly you dump it in the chest and close the lid, sealing it away for another millennium or so. The mustache'd man looks at you with a mix of fear and anger, but you don't have time to deal with him!
*ZWOOP*
You stash the Chocolate MacGuffin away at the Spiky Haired Man's place gingerly- seems like he had a party while you were gone and is passed out on the floor, a bag of crystals and countless bottles of Alderbaran Rum litter the floor. You spot a device of some sort by his hands, lights blinking in an awesome sci-fi way. The top of the device reads 'Exposition-o-Matic 5000'. That's when you realize - this readout on the device indicates not just where the next MacGuffin is, but that the Traitor is working their way to it personally!
You've gotta confront this Traitor once and for all!
*ZWOOP*
This place looks like it's on the very edge of reality itself. Shapeless masses form and congeal and turn back into cosmic ooze all around you, and occasionally bits of reality blip in and out of existence. You're not sure how but you seem able to will the ground into existence beneath your feet if you focus. As you follow the readout to the next MacGuffin...
*BLOOP*
A futuristic starship warps into this reality. Clearly disoriented, you see scan beams shoot out from the ship along with several probes. One of these probes flies up to you and starts to scan you as well. The scan beam makes contact with you for hardly a second before the probe glows red- and starts powerup up something inside! Oh crap!
 	1.984E1361.068E1361.984E137 	The NCC-1701 D 	12 	Star Trek
 	You manage to crush the Probe before it can escape, however it doesn't seem to matter. The starship obviously has ways to tell if some asshole busts one of their probes, you know.
You see it turn towards you, powering up their photon torpedoes, electron rams, proton missiles, neutron bombs, and even an oversized crossbow emerges from the side! Why the hell does it have that?! 	You manage to crush the Probe before it can escape, however it doesn't seem to matter. The starship obviously has ways to tell if some asshole busts one of their probes, you know.
You see it turn towards you, powering up their photon torpedoes, electron rams, proton missiles, neutron bombs, and even an oversized crossbow emerges from the side! Why the hell does it have that?! 	You manage to crush the Probe before it can escape, however it doesn't seem to matter. The starship obviously has ways to tell if some asshole busts one of their probes, you know.
You see it turn towards you, powering up their photon torpedoes, electron rams, proton missiles, neutron bombs, and even an oversized crossbow emerges from the side! Why the hell does it have that?! 	You manage to crush the Probe before it can escape, however it doesn't seem to matter. The starship obviously has ways to tell if some asshole busts one of their probes, you know.
You see it turn towards you, powering up their photon torpedoes, electron rams, proton missiles, neutron bombs, and even an oversized crossbow emerges from the side! Why the hell does it have that?!
 	1.984E1371.068E1371.984E138 	An Infinite Number of Turtles 	12 	Idiom
 	Explosions spark along the hull of the starship, and it veers to the side uncontrollably, crashing into a giant frozen hamburger that blipped into existence seconds ago. Convenient!
As you carry on, you notice a house on a hill way off in the distance. Despite the chaos all around you, that house has not wavered in its existence in this strange place. You suspect that's where your device is pointing you. With a tangible destination in sight, you're renewed with a sense of purpose and confidence. You don't even flinch when a turtle roughly the size of the universe appears to your left. Just the fact that something the size of the universe can even BE on your left is a concept you're learning to take in stride. The turtle seems nice enough. Moments later another turtle, even bigger, appears beneath the first turtle. Then another, below the 2nd turtle. Then another. You realize you actually have a major problem on your hands now - it's turtles all the way down! 	Explosions spark along the hull of the starship, and it veers to the side uncontrollably, crashing into a giant frozen hamburger that blipped into existence seconds ago. Convenient!
As you carry on, you notice a house on a hill way off in the distance. Despite the chaos all around you, that house has not wavered in its existence in this strange place. You suspect that's where your device is pointing you. With a tangible destination in sight, you're renewed with a sense of purpose and confidence. You don't even flinch when a turtle roughly the size of the universe appears to your left. Just the fact that something the size of the universe can even BE on your left is a concept you're learning to take in stride. The turtle seems nice enough. Moments later another turtle, even bigger, appears beneath the first turtle. Then another, below the 2nd turtle. Then another. You realize you actually have a major problem on your hands now - it's turtles all the way down! 	Explosions spark along the hull of the starship, and it veers to the side uncontrollably, crashing into a giant frozen hamburger that blipped into existence seconds ago. Convenient!
As you carry on, you notice a house on a hill way off in the distance. Despite the chaos all around you, that house has not wavered in its existence in this strange place. You suspect that's where your device is pointing you. With a tangible destination in sight, you're renewed with a sense of purpose and confidence. You don't even flinch when a turtle roughly the size of the universe appears to your left. Just the fact that something the size of the universe can even BE on your left is a concept you're learning to take in stride. The turtle seems nice enough. Moments later another turtle, even bigger, appears beneath the first turtle. Then another, below the 2nd turtle. Then another. You realize you actually have a major problem on your hands now - it's turtles all the way down! 	Explosions spark along the hull of the starship, and it veers to the side uncontrollably, crashing into a giant frozen hamburger that blipped into existence seconds ago. Convenient!
As you carry on, you notice a house on a hill way off in the distance. Despite the chaos all around you, that house has not wavered in its existence in this strange place. You suspect that's where your device is pointing you. With a tangible destination in sight, you're renewed with a sense of purpose and confidence. You don't even flinch when a turtle roughly the size of the universe appears to your left. Just the fact that something the size of the universe can even BE on your left is a concept you're learning to take in stride. The turtle seems nice enough. Moments later another turtle, even bigger, appears beneath the first turtle. Then another, below the 2nd turtle. Then another. You realize you actually have a major problem on your hands now - it's turtles all the way down!
 	1.984E1381.068E1381.984E139 	Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello 	12 	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
 	You hated to do it, but you had to deal with these infinite turtles before they could harm this place. Unfortunately for you, partway through your fight four more turtles spawned into existence around you, though these guys seem to be mutants that can stand on two legs. Each turtle has some old guy riding piggyback on top, clutching a giant paintbrush. They witness the Infinite Turtle explode out of existence, and they look PISSED. The old guys lower their brushes like lances, and charge at you! 	You hated to do it, but you had to deal with these infinite turtles before they could harm this place. Unfortunately for you, partway through your fight four more turtles spawned into existence around you, though these guys seem to be mutants that can stand on two legs. Each turtle has some old guy riding piggyback on top, clutching a giant paintbrush. They witness the Infinite Turtle explode out of existence, and they look PISSED. The old guys lower their brushes like lances, and charge at you! 	You hated to do it, but you had to deal with these infinite turtles before they could harm this place. Unfortunately for you, partway through your fight four more turtles spawned into existence around you, though these guys seem to be mutants that can stand on two legs. Each turtle has some old guy riding piggyback on top, clutching a giant paintbrush. They witness the Infinite Turtle explode out of existence, and they look PISSED. The old guys lower their brushes like lances, and charge at you! 	You hated to do it, but you had to deal with these infinite turtles before they could harm this place. Unfortunately for you, partway through your fight four more turtles spawned into existence around you, though these guys seem to be mutants that can stand on two legs. Each turtle has some old guy riding piggyback on top, clutching a giant paintbrush. They witness the Infinite Turtle explode out of existence, and they look PISSED. The old guys lower their brushes like lances, and charge at you!
 	1.984E1391.068E1391.984E140 	Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello 	12 	
 	You managed to take out their trusty mutant-turtle-steed things, but the old painters aren't going down without a fight. You're cleared to use crotch-kicks if necessary. 	You managed to take out their trusty mutant-turtle-steed things, but the old painters aren't going down without a fight. You're cleared to use crotch-kicks if necessary. 	You managed to take out their trusty mutant-turtle-steed things, but the old painters aren't going down without a fight. You're cleared to use crotch-kicks if necessary. 	You managed to take out their trusty mutant-turtle-steed things, but the old painters aren't going down without a fight. You're cleared to use crotch-kicks if necessary.
 	1.984E1401.068E1401.984E141 	M.O.U.S.E 	12 	
 	You step over the curled-up old men, clutching their recently-kicked crotches and continue on to the top house on the hill. With a brief respite from the action, you actually get a moment to appreciate the weird beauty of this place. It feels like you're inside a lava lamp, except the goop is galactic ooze, nebules, stars, and random bits of matter. Off to the left you see several galaxies warp into view and swirl together... Heh, it almost looks like a mouse's face... And it looks seriously angry... OH CRAP! 	You step over the curled-up old men, clutching their recently-kicked crotches and continue on to the top house on the hill. With a brief respite from the action, you actually get a moment to appreciate the weird beauty of this place. It feels like you're inside a lava lamp, except the goop is galactic ooze, nebules, stars, and random bits of matter. Off to the left you see several galaxies warp into view and swirl together... Heh, it almost looks like a mouse's face... And it looks seriously angry... OH CRAP! 	You step over the curled-up old men, clutching their recently-kicked crotches and continue on to the top house on the hill. With a brief respite from the action, you actually get a moment to appreciate the weird beauty of this place. It feels like you're inside a lava lamp, except the goop is galactic ooze, nebules, stars, and random bits of matter. Off to the left you see several galaxies warp into view and swirl together... Heh, it almost looks like a mouse's face... And it looks seriously angry... OH CRAP! 	You step over the curled-up old men, clutching their recently-kicked crotches and continue on to the top house on the hill. With a brief respite from the action, you actually get a moment to appreciate the weird beauty of this place. It feels like you're inside a lava lamp, except the goop is galactic ooze, nebules, stars, and random bits of matter. Off to the left you see several galaxies warp into view and swirl together... Heh, it almost looks like a mouse's face... And it looks seriously angry... OH CRAP!
 	1.984E1411.068E1411.984E142 	A Stickman Cowboy 	13 	West of Loathing
 	With the right sequence of awkward karate moves, you banish the galactic mouse back into the abyss. You hear clapping from behind, and you turn around to spot the live studio audience that was making that noise. Instead, you see a stick cowboy approaching you with an extremely silly walk, tilting back and forth with a 'clap' sound on each stride. He's wearing an assortment of gear almost as silly as you, including a copper pot on his head. You have a feeling you'd get along just fine with this dashing fellow, if you weren't obligated to beat him up like the other 141 or so bosses before him. Rules are rules! 	With the right sequence of awkward karate moves, you banish the galactic mouse back into the abyss. You hear clapping from behind, and you turn around to spot the live studio audience that was making that noise. Instead, you see a stick cowboy approaching you with an extremely silly walk, tilting back and forth with a 'clap' sound on each stride. He's wearing an assortment of gear almost as silly as you, including a copper pot on his head. You have a feeling you'd get along just fine with this dashing fellow, if you weren't obligated to beat him up like the other 141 or so bosses before him. Rules are rules! 	With the right sequence of awkward karate moves, you banish the galactic mouse back into the abyss. You hear clapping from behind, and you turn around to spot the live studio audience that was making that noise. Instead, you see a stick cowboy approaching you with an extremely silly walk, tilting back and forth with a 'clap' sound on each stride. He's wearing an assortment of gear almost as silly as you, including a copper pot on his head. You have a feeling you'd get along just fine with this dashing fellow, if you weren't obligated to beat him up like the other 141 or so bosses before him. Rules are rules! 	With the right sequence of awkward karate moves, you banish the galactic mouse back into the abyss. You hear clapping from behind, and you turn around to spot the live studio audience that was making that noise. Instead, you see a stick cowboy approaching you with an extremely silly walk, tilting back and forth with a 'clap' sound on each stride. He's wearing an assortment of gear almost as silly as you, including a copper pot on his head. You have a feeling you'd get along just fine with this dashing fellow, if you weren't obligated to beat him up like the other 141 or so bosses before him. Rules are rules!
 	1.984E1421.068E1421.984E143 	Your Browser History 	13 	
 	You wish the stickman fellow good luck and wave goodbye as you kick his body off into the galactic soup. He drifts for a bit before blinking back out of existence, waving back at you. How friendly.
What's not so friendly, is what comes roaring back into view a few moments later. It turns out, when you delete your browser's history, it isn't truly destroyed - It just gets sent here. And staring you in the face is the entirety of your internet browsing history! In an instant you're confronted with a thousand memories of your shame and weakness: naughtynudenuns.com, potatoinyouranus.gov.org, and - oh god - there's even a record of the time you got a mail-order flash clone of yourself to do unspeakably horrific things to! Of all the memories to come back to you, this truly is the worst of the worst. You have to head with this, for your own sanity. 	You wish the stickman fellow good luck and wave goodbye as you kick his body off into the galactic soup. He drifts for a bit before blinking back out of existence, waving back at you. How friendly.
What's not so friendly, is what comes roaring back into view a few moments later. It turns out, when you delete your browser's history, it isn't truly destroyed - It just gets sent here. And staring you in the face is the entirety of your internet browsing history! In an instant you're confronted with a thousand memories of your shame and weakness: naughtynudenuns.com, potatoinyouranus.gov.org, and - oh god - there's even a record of the time you got a mail-order flash clone of yourself to do unspeakably horrific things to! Of all the memories to come back to you, this truly is the worst of the worst. You have to head with this, for your own sanity. 	You wish the stickman fellow good luck and wave goodbye as you kick his body off into the galactic soup. He drifts for a bit before blinking back out of existence, waving back at you. How friendly.
What's not so friendly, is what comes roaring back into view a few moments later. It turns out, when you delete your browser's history, it isn't truly destroyed - It just gets sent here. And staring you in the face is the entirety of your internet browsing history! In an instant you're confronted with a thousand memories of your shame and weakness: naughtynudenuns.com, potatoinyouranus.gov.org, and - oh god - there's even a record of the time you got a mail-order flash clone of yourself to do unspeakably horrific things to! Of all the memories to come back to you, this truly is the worst of the worst. You have to head with this, for your own sanity. 	You wish the stickman fellow good luck and wave goodbye as you kick his body off into the galactic soup. He drifts for a bit before blinking back out of existence, waving back at you. How friendly.
What's not so friendly, is what comes roaring back into view a few moments later. It turns out, when you delete your browser's history, it isn't truly destroyed - It just gets sent here. And staring you in the face is the entirety of your internet browsing history! In an instant you're confronted with a thousand memories of your shame and weakness: naughtynudenuns.com, potatoinyouranus.gov.org, and - oh god - there's even a record of the time you got a mail-order flash clone of yourself to do unspeakably horrific things to! Of all the memories to come back to you, this truly is the worst of the worst. You have to head with this, for your own sanity.
 	1.984E1431.068E1431.984E144 	The House on the Hill 	13 	
 	Finally, you've made it to the front entrance of the House on the Hill. It gives off a cheesy horror movie vibe. You pull out your device and confirm this finding - this house clocks in at over 50 kilo-spoops! You're about to pull the front doors open when they open for you, which you mistake as a sign of courtesy. Instead, 8 gigantic tentacles come spewing out of the opening! One tentacle grabs you by your feet and dangles you upside down as the rest prepare to do that thing that tentacles do. Better fight your way out of this, and fast! 	Finally, you've made it to the front entrance of the House on the Hill. It gives off a cheesy horror movie vibe. You pull out your device and confirm this finding - this house clocks in at over 50 kilo-spoops! You're about to pull the front doors open when they open for you, which you mistake as a sign of courtesy. Instead, 8 gigantic tentacles come spewing out of the opening! One tentacle grabs you by your feet and dangles you upside down as the rest prepare to do that thing that tentacles do. Better fight your way out of this, and fast! 	Finally, you've made it to the front entrance of the House on the Hill. It gives off a cheesy horror movie vibe. You pull out your device and confirm this finding - this house clocks in at over 50 kilo-spoops! You're about to pull the front doors open when they open for you, which you mistake as a sign of courtesy. Instead, 8 gigantic tentacles come spewing out of the opening! One tentacle grabs you by your feet and dangles you upside down as the rest prepare to do that thing that tentacles do. Better fight your way out of this, and fast! 	Finally, you've made it to the front entrance of the House on the Hill. It gives off a cheesy horror movie vibe. You pull out your device and confirm this finding - this house clocks in at over 50 kilo-spoops! You're about to pull the front doors open when they open for you, which you mistake as a sign of courtesy. Instead, 8 gigantic tentacles come spewing out of the opening! One tentacle grabs you by your feet and dangles you upside down as the rest prepare to do that thing that tentacles do. Better fight your way out of this, and fast!
 	1.984E1441.068E1441.984E145 	A Stoner Kid 	13 	Scooby-Doo
 	You chop your way through the tentacle creature and finally break through, inside the house. Pulling out your MacGuffin finding device, you detect that what you seek is in the upper floors of this palace, possibly the attic. You wander from one room to another, trying to find access to the next floor. Turning the corner, you collide into a giant mass of dog. 'Ruh Roh, Raggy!' it says, and tries to run away, but all you hear is cartoonish noises and the dog doesn't seem to be moving at all. A lanky teenaged kid comes over and spots you and the dog. 'Zoinks! I better tell the others we have, like, an intruder!' They must be working for the Traitor! 	You chop your way through the tentacle creature and finally break through, inside the house. Pulling out your MacGuffin finding device, you detect that what you seek is in the upper floors of this palace, possibly the attic. You wander from one room to another, trying to find access to the next floor. Turning the corner, you collide into a giant mass of dog. 'Ruh Roh, Raggy!' it says, and tries to run away, but all you hear is cartoonish noises and the dog doesn't seem to be moving at all. A lanky teenaged kid comes over and spots you and the dog. 'Zoinks! I better tell the others we have, like, an intruder!' They must be working for the Traitor! 	You chop your way through the tentacle creature and finally break through, inside the house. Pulling out your MacGuffin finding device, you detect that what you seek is in the upper floors of this palace, possibly the attic. You wander from one room to another, trying to find access to the next floor. Turning the corner, you collide into a giant mass of dog. 'Ruh Roh, Raggy!' it says, and tries to run away, but all you hear is cartoonish noises and the dog doesn't seem to be moving at all. A lanky teenaged kid comes over and spots you and the dog. 'Zoinks! I better tell the others we have, like, an intruder!' They must be working for the Traitor! 	You chop your way through the tentacle creature and finally break through, inside the house. Pulling out your MacGuffin finding device, you detect that what you seek is in the upper floors of this palace, possibly the attic. You wander from one room to another, trying to find access to the next floor. Turning the corner, you collide into a giant mass of dog. 'Ruh Roh, Raggy!' it says, and tries to run away, but all you hear is cartoonish noises and the dog doesn't seem to be moving at all. A lanky teenaged kid comes over and spots you and the dog. 'Zoinks! I better tell the others we have, like, an intruder!' They must be working for the Traitor!
 	1.984E1451.068E1451.984E146 	Moneybags 	13 	Spyro
 	Eventually, you manage to find a way to the upper floors. With your device out, the beeping gets faster and faster - you're almost there! Up ahead you see a glowing door, and standing guard is - a bear with a posh-looking monocle?
'That's as far as you go, my boy. It's been a while hasn't it? I'm afraid I can't let you through this door - boss's orders. Then again, perhaps with the right gift, I could be persuaded to let you by.'
You stare at the bear, confused.
'You know...a charitable donation?'
Still nothing.
'A... *cough* number of gems placed into this sack, right there?' He rattles the bag a bit.
You decide to just kick his ass. 	Eventually, you manage to find a way to the upper floors. With your device out, the beeping gets faster and faster - you're almost there! Up ahead you see a glowing door, and standing guard is - a bear with a posh-looking monocle?
'That's as far as you go, my boy. It's been a while hasn't it? I'm afraid I can't let you through this door - boss's orders. Then again, perhaps with the right gift, I could be persuaded to let you by.'
You stare at the bear, confused.
'You know...a charitable donation?'
Still nothing.
'A... *cough* number of gems placed into this sack, right there?' He rattles the bag a bit.
You decide to just kick his ass. 	Eventually, you manage to find a way to the upper floors. With your device out, the beeping gets faster and faster - you're almost there! Up ahead you see a glowing door, and standing guard is - a bear with a posh-looking monocle?
'That's as far as you go, my boy. It's been a while hasn't it? I'm afraid I can't let you through this door - boss's orders. Then again, perhaps with the right gift, I could be persuaded to let you by.'
You stare at the bear, confused.
'You know...a charitable donation?'
Still nothing.
'A... *cough* number of gems placed into this sack, right there?' He rattles the bag a bit.
You decide to just kick his ass. 	Eventually, you manage to find a way to the upper floors. With your device out, the beeping gets faster and faster - you're almost there! Up ahead you see a glowing door, and standing guard is - a bear with a posh-looking monocle?
'That's as far as you go, my boy. It's been a while hasn't it? I'm afraid I can't let you through this door - boss's orders. Then again, perhaps with the right gift, I could be persuaded to let you by.'
You stare at the bear, confused.
'You know...a charitable donation?'
Still nothing.
'A... *cough* number of gems placed into this sack, right there?' He rattles the bag a bit.
You decide to just kick his ass.
 	1.984E1461.068E1461.984E147 	THE TRAITOR 	13 	
 	You kick the bear off to the side and burst through the door, ready for a fight!
But instead, you find a hooded figure crouched in front of something you can't quite see, emitting a powerful glow. The figure closes the box and turns face to you. You can't quite make out their face, but there's no mistaking that psycho grin, the glint of their teeth.
'Afraid you're a bit too late, my friend. My better half, really. Does it feel strange for you as it does to me? Though, I don't understand why you keep doggedly chasing after me, surely you should be working on getting the others!
'The confusion on your face seems to irritate the Traitor. 'No matter. Soon our mission will be complete and we can both put this matter behind us.' As you take up a fighting stance, the Traitor's irritation now turns to anger.
'How do you not understand what we're trying to accomplish?! This has gone on for long enough. You need to be subdued!' The Traitor stands up, and a ring of MacGuffins fly out from under his cloak and encircle him! His entire body glows with the most immense power you've ever felt.
FIGHT! 	You kick the bear off to the side and burst through the door, ready for a fight!
But instead, you find a hooded figure crouched in front of something you can't quite see, emitting a powerful glow. The figure closes the box and turns face to you. You can't quite make out their face, but there's no mistaking that psycho grin, the glint of their teeth.
'Afraid you're a bit too late, my friend. My better half, really. Does it feel strange for you as it does to me? Though, I don't understand why you keep doggedly chasing after me, surely you should be working on getting the others!
'The confusion on your face seems to irritate the Traitor. 'No matter. Soon our mission will be complete and we can both put this matter behind us.' As you take up a fighting stance, the Traitor's irritation now turns to anger.
'How do you not understand what we're trying to accomplish?! This has gone on for long enough. You need to be subdued!' The Traitor stands up, and a ring of MacGuffins fly out from under his cloak and encircle him! His entire body glows with the most immense power you've ever felt.
FIGHT! 	You kick the bear off to the side and burst through the door, ready for a fight!
But instead, you find a hooded figure crouched in front of something you can't quite see, emitting a powerful glow. The figure closes the box and turns face to you. You can't quite make out their face, but there's no mistaking that psycho grin, the glint of their teeth.
'Afraid you're a bit too late, my friend. My better half, really. Does it feel strange for you as it does to me? Though, I don't understand why you keep doggedly chasing after me, surely you should be working on getting the others!
'The confusion on your face seems to irritate the Traitor. 'No matter. Soon our mission will be complete and we can both put this matter behind us.' As you take up a fighting stance, the Traitor's irritation now turns to anger.
'How do you not understand what we're trying to accomplish?! This has gone on for long enough. You need to be subdued!' The Traitor stands up, and a ring of MacGuffins fly out from under his cloak and encircle him! His entire body glows with the most immense power you've ever felt.
FIGHT! 	You kick the bear off to the side and burst through the door, ready for a fight!
But instead, you find a hooded figure crouched in front of something you can't quite see, emitting a powerful glow. The figure closes the box and turns face to you. You can't quite make out their face, but there's no mistaking that psycho grin, the glint of their teeth.
'Afraid you're a bit too late, my friend. My better half, really. Does it feel strange for you as it does to me? Though, I don't understand why you keep doggedly chasing after me, surely you should be working on getting the others!
'The confusion on your face seems to irritate the Traitor. 'No matter. Soon our mission will be complete and we can both put this matter behind us.' As you take up a fighting stance, the Traitor's irritation now turns to anger.
'How do you not understand what we're trying to accomplish?! This has gone on for long enough. You need to be subdued!' The Traitor stands up, and a ring of MacGuffins fly out from under his cloak and encircle him! His entire body glows with the most immense power you've ever felt.
FIGHT!
 	1.984E1471.068E1471.984E148 	DEFEAT 	13 	Metal Gear Solid (Game Over Screen)
 	No matter what you throw at this guy, he seems to match your every move! You're exhausted, bruised, battered, and he doesn't even seem to have broken a sweat. 
'Well, that was fun, but you really are being a pain in my ass. This ought to stop you long enough for me to finish my mission.I'll see you again in the future, I'm sure... but I implore you. Don't track me down again. This is for the good of both of us!'
The Traitor throws some sort of spidery looking device onto your chest, which clamps down into your skin and glows. You're unable to resist and instantly feel your consciousness fade. The last thing you remember, is the Traitor's laughter as they disappear once again...
What's going to happen to you?
(This is the end of the story for Normal Difficulty. Unlock more of the story by passing this boss on Evil Difficulty!) 	No matter what you throw at this guy, he seems to match your every move! You're exhausted, bruised, battered, and he doesn't even seem to have broken a sweat. 
'Well, that was fun, but you really are being a pain in my ass. This ought to stop you long enough for me to finish my mission.I'll see you again in the future, I'm sure... but I implore you. Don't track me down again. This is for the good of both of us!'
The Traitor throws some sort of spidery looking device onto your chest, which clamps down into your skin and glows. You're unable to resist and instantly feel your consciousness fade. The last thing you remember, is the Traitor's laughter as they disappear once again...
What's going to happen to you?
(This is the end of the story for Normal Difficulty. Unlock more of the story by passing this boss on Evil Difficulty!) 	No matter what you throw at this guy, he seems to match your every move! You're exhausted, bruised, battered, and he doesn't even seem to have broken a sweat. 
'Well, that was fun, but you really are being a pain in my ass. This ought to stop you long enough for me to finish my mission.I'll see you again in the future, I'm sure... but I implore you. Don't track me down again. This is for the good of both of us!'
The Traitor throws some sort of spidery looking device onto your chest, which clamps down into your skin and glows. You're unable to resist and instantly feel your consciousness fade. The last thing you remember, is the Traitor's laughter as they disappear once again...
What's going to happen to you?
(This is the end of the story for Normal Difficulty. Unlock more of the story by passing this boss on Evil Difficulty!) 	No matter what you throw at this guy, he seems to match your every move! You're exhausted, bruised, battered, and he doesn't even seem to have broken a sweat. 
'Well, that was fun, but you really are being a pain in my ass. This ought to stop you long enough for me to finish my mission.I'll see you again in the future, I'm sure... but I implore you. Don't track me down again. This is for the good of both of us!'
The Traitor throws some sort of spidery looking device onto your chest, which clamps down into your skin and glows. You're unable to resist and instantly feel your consciousness fade. The last thing you remember, is the Traitor's laughter as they disappear once again...
What's going to happen to you?
(This is the end of the story for Normal Difficulty. Unlock more of the story by passing this boss on Evil Difficulty!)
 	1.984E1481.068E1481.984E149 	A Half-eaten Cookie 	13 	Cookie Clicker
 	You wake up feeling drowsy, sore, and every bit as weak as when you woke up in the sewers. Was everything you experienced all just a dream? You're unsure, but looking around you definitely don't recognise this place. A swirling pink cloud oozes across the landscape, filled with all sorts of exotic objects. Mathematical formulae and numbers fly across the sky. It feels like a sacred, holy aura has washed over the land.
The pink mist starts flowing all around you, as you hear two distinct voices inside your head.
'It is not yet your time to join us, child. You must be sent back to complete your task. Yes, the um...the task you're working on.'
You can feel the voices move away from you, muttering to each other.
'What was that task again brother?'
The voices returns to you.
'They must regain their strength first, dear brother, before they continue their task! They have been weakened terribly!'
The voices fade away again.
'You should damn well know what it is, bro, we've had at least 3 staff meetings about it. Including not telling the Chosen One!'
'Look, just because I let you pretend that we work in an office instead of being mystic spirit guides doesn't mean you can chew me out, bro!'
The voices return to you.
'Yes, you have a keen eye dear brother!. We must call upon our subjects to help train and recover this poor soul's strength. Only then will our um - what did you call them, Chosen One? - here be ready for new challenges that await them in the world that the Traitor has now created. Go now, we will contact you again shortly'
You hear the voices angrily muttering at each other as they fade from your mind.
You wrinkle your nose at being called the Chosen One. What is this, an anime? Skyrim? Ugh! You shakily rise to your feet and set off towards nowhere in particular. That's when you feel a heavy weight pressed onto your chest. It's the spidery-looking device the Traitor placed on you - it wasn't a dream after all! You try to pry it off but it's latched on tight. Feels like you're going to rip your own heart out of your body. You ignore the device for now, and head off to find someone who can help you. Hopefully not those weird voices in your head
Suddenly, a hole opens up beneath your feet, and you fall in! ARGGGGGGGHHH!!
...And you fall into a massive room, landing on an oversized table. A giant plate is laid out with some cookies, and a glass of milk three times your height- It looks like a giant creature was having a snack and left half way. You move over to one half-eaten cookie and examine it, when you hear a 'click' sound. The pink mist rises up and flows into the half eaten cookie, possessing it! It's coming right for you!	You wake up feeling drowsy, sore, and every bit as weak as when you woke up in the sewers. Was everything you experienced all just a dream? You're unsure, but looking around you definitely don't recognise this place. A swirling pink cloud oozes across the landscape, filled with all sorts of exotic objects. Mathematical formulae and numbers fly across the sky. It feels like a sacred, holy aura has washed over the land.
The pink mist starts flowing all around you, as you hear two distinct voices inside your head.
'It is not yet your time to join us, child. You must be sent back to complete your task. Yes, the um...the task you're working on.'
You can feel the voices move away from you, muttering to each other.
'What was that task again brother?'
The voices returns to you.
'They must regain their strength first, dear brother, before they continue their task! They have been weakened terribly!'
The voices fade away again.
'You should damn well know what it is, bro, we've had at least 3 staff meetings about it. Including not telling the Chosen One!'
'Look, just because I let you pretend that we work in an office instead of being mystic spirit guides doesn't mean you can chew me out, bro!'
The voices return to you.
'Yes, you have a keen eye dear brother!. We must call upon our subjects to help train and recover this poor soul's strength. Only then will our um - what did you call them, Chosen One? - here be ready for new challenges that await them in the world that the Traitor has now created. Go now, we will contact you again shortly'
You hear the voices angrily muttering at each other as they fade from your mind.
You wrinkle your nose at being called the Chosen One. What is this, an anime? Skyrim? Ugh! You shakily rise to your feet and set off towards nowhere in particular. That's when you feel a heavy weight pressed onto your chest. It's the spidery-looking device the Traitor placed on you - it wasn't a dream after all! You try to pry it off but it's latched on tight. Feels like you're going to rip your own heart out of your body. You ignore the device for now, and head off to find someone who can help you. Hopefully not those weird voices in your head
Suddenly, a hole opens up beneath your feet, and you fall in! ARGGGGGGGHHH!!
...And you fall into a massive room, landing on an oversized table. A giant plate is laid out with some cookies, and a glass of milk three times your height- It looks like a giant creature was having a snack and left half way. You move over to one half-eaten cookie and examine it, when you hear a 'click' sound. The pink mist rises up and flows into the half eaten cookie, possessing it! It's coming right for you!	You wake up feeling drowsy, sore, and every bit as weak as when you woke up in the sewers. Was everything you experienced all just a dream? You're unsure, but looking around you definitely don't recognise this place. A swirling pink cloud oozes across the landscape, filled with all sorts of exotic objects. Mathematical formulae and numbers fly across the sky. It feels like a sacred, holy aura has washed over the land.
The pink mist starts flowing all around you, as you hear two distinct voices inside your head.
'It is not yet your time to join us, child. You must be sent back to complete your task. Yes, the um...the task you're working on.'
You can feel the voices move away from you, muttering to each other.
'What was that task again brother?'
The voices returns to you.
'They must regain their strength first, dear brother, before they continue their task! They have been weakened terribly!'
The voices fade away again.
'You should damn well know what it is, bro, we've had at least 3 staff meetings about it. Including not telling the Chosen One!'
'Look, just because I let you pretend that we work in an office instead of being mystic spirit guides doesn't mean you can chew me out, bro!'
The voices return to you.
'Yes, you have a keen eye dear brother!. We must call upon our subjects to help train and recover this poor soul's strength. Only then will our um - what did you call them, Chosen One? - here be ready for new challenges that await them in the world that the Traitor has now created. Go now, we will contact you again shortly'
You hear the voices angrily muttering at each other as they fade from your mind.
You wrinkle your nose at being called the Chosen One. What is this, an anime? Skyrim? Ugh! You shakily rise to your feet and set off towards nowhere in particular. That's when you feel a heavy weight pressed onto your chest. It's the spidery-looking device the Traitor placed on you - it wasn't a dream after all! You try to pry it off but it's latched on tight. Feels like you're going to rip your own heart out of your body. You ignore the device for now, and head off to find someone who can help you. Hopefully not those weird voices in your head
Suddenly, a hole opens up beneath your feet, and you fall in! ARGGGGGGGHHH!!
...And you fall into a massive room, landing on an oversized table. A giant plate is laid out with some cookies, and a glass of milk three times your height- It looks like a giant creature was having a snack and left half way. You move over to one half-eaten cookie and examine it, when you hear a 'click' sound. The pink mist rises up and flows into the half eaten cookie, possessing it! It's coming right for you!	You wake up feeling drowsy, sore, and every bit as weak as when you woke up in the sewers. Was everything you experienced all just a dream? You're unsure, but looking around you definitely don't recognise this place. A swirling pink cloud oozes across the landscape, filled with all sorts of exotic objects. Mathematical formulae and numbers fly across the sky. It feels like a sacred, holy aura has washed over the land.
The pink mist starts flowing all around you, as you hear two distinct voices inside your head.
'It is not yet your time to join us, child. You must be sent back to complete your task. Yes, the um...the task you're working on.'
You can feel the voices move away from you, muttering to each other.
'What was that task again brother?'
The voices returns to you.
'They must regain their strength first, dear brother, before they continue their task! They have been weakened terribly!'
The voices fade away again.
'You should damn well know what it is, bro, we've had at least 3 staff meetings about it. Including not telling the Chosen One!'
'Look, just because I let you pretend that we work in an office instead of being mystic spirit guides doesn't mean you can chew me out, bro!'
The voices return to you.
'Yes, you have a keen eye dear brother!. We must call upon our subjects to help train and recover this poor soul's strength. Only then will our um - what did you call them, Chosen One? - here be ready for new challenges that await them in the world that the Traitor has now created. Go now, we will contact you again shortly'
You hear the voices angrily muttering at each other as they fade from your mind.
You wrinkle your nose at being called the Chosen One. What is this, an anime? Skyrim? Ugh! You shakily rise to your feet and set off towards nowhere in particular. That's when you feel a heavy weight pressed onto your chest. It's the spidery-looking device the Traitor placed on you - it wasn't a dream after all! You try to pry it off but it's latched on tight. Feels like you're going to rip your own heart out of your body. You ignore the device for now, and head off to find someone who can help you. Hopefully not those weird voices in your head
Suddenly, a hole opens up beneath your feet, and you fall in! ARGGGGGGGHHH!!
...And you fall into a massive room, landing on an oversized table. A giant plate is laid out with some cookies, and a glass of milk three times your height- It looks like a giant creature was having a snack and left half way. You move over to one half-eaten cookie and examine it, when you hear a 'click' sound. The pink mist rises up and flows into the half eaten cookie, possessing it! It's coming right for you!
 	1.984E1491.068E1491.984E150 	A Rusty Crank 	13 	Crank Game
 	As the cookie crumbles, the pink mist WHOOSHES through you and transports you away to another strange place. Or are these visions? This time it's almost entirely pitch black, with a lone jack in the box under a spotlight. On the side is a worn out, rusty crank. You approach it warily, and, since there's nothing else to do here, start winding the crank. As you do, more pink mist gets sucked into the middle of the box. Suddenly, the rusty crank pops off the side, scraping your hand. Owch! You make a mental note to get a tetanus shot after all this, before squaring off against the phantom crank! 	As the cookie crumbles, the pink mist WHOOSHES through you and transports you away to another strange place. Or are these visions? This time it's almost entirely pitch black, with a lone jack in the box under a spotlight. On the side is a worn out, rusty crank. You approach it warily, and, since there's nothing else to do here, start winding the crank. As you do, more pink mist gets sucked into the middle of the box. Suddenly, the rusty crank pops off the side, scraping your hand. Owch! You make a mental note to get a tetanus shot after all this, before squaring off against the phantom crank! 	As the cookie crumbles, the pink mist WHOOSHES through you and transports you away to another strange place. Or are these visions? This time it's almost entirely pitch black, with a lone jack in the box under a spotlight. On the side is a worn out, rusty crank. You approach it warily, and, since there's nothing else to do here, start winding the crank. As you do, more pink mist gets sucked into the middle of the box. Suddenly, the rusty crank pops off the side, scraping your hand. Owch! You make a mental note to get a tetanus shot after all this, before squaring off against the phantom crank! 	As the cookie crumbles, the pink mist WHOOSHES through you and transports you away to another strange place. Or are these visions? This time it's almost entirely pitch black, with a lone jack in the box under a spotlight. On the side is a worn out, rusty crank. You approach it warily, and, since there's nothing else to do here, start winding the crank. As you do, more pink mist gets sucked into the middle of the box. Suddenly, the rusty crank pops off the side, scraping your hand. Owch! You make a mental note to get a tetanus shot after all this, before squaring off against the phantom crank!
 	1.984E1501.068E1501.984E151 	Ahh!! A Shark!! 	13 	Sharks Game
 	Right as the crank shatters, you hear the voices return.
'Crap, they went too fast, bro, I told you they'd beat up like 3 bosses before your 'annual performance review' was over!'
'Shut up, bro, it was only 2!!!'
The voices get louder.
'Ahem you have done well, Chosen One. Each of these foes here are a product of the Traitor's device, trying to suppress your power. Each foe here represents an aspect of incremental power, and each one you cast aside damages the device. It is our hope to help you destroy it here and now, before we send you back.
You're getting sick of these voices already. The pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to the middle of the ocean. You're taken by surprise and suck in a lungful of water. As you sputter and wheeze, you spot a fin gliding toward you, which can only mean one of two things. Since there's no 'nado accompanying it, this must be a regular old shark. Aw man. 	Right as the crank shatters, you hear the voices return.
'Crap, they went too fast, bro, I told you they'd beat up like 3 bosses before your 'annual performance review' was over!'
'Shut up, bro, it was only 2!!!'
The voices get louder.
'Ahem you have done well, Chosen One. Each of these foes here are a product of the Traitor's device, trying to suppress your power. Each foe here represents an aspect of incremental power, and each one you cast aside damages the device. It is our hope to help you destroy it here and now, before we send you back.
You're getting sick of these voices already. The pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to the middle of the ocean. You're taken by surprise and suck in a lungful of water. As you sputter and wheeze, you spot a fin gliding toward you, which can only mean one of two things. Since there's no 'nado accompanying it, this must be a regular old shark. Aw man. 	Right as the crank shatters, you hear the voices return.
'Crap, they went too fast, bro, I told you they'd beat up like 3 bosses before your 'annual performance review' was over!'
'Shut up, bro, it was only 2!!!'
The voices get louder.
'Ahem you have done well, Chosen One. Each of these foes here are a product of the Traitor's device, trying to suppress your power. Each foe here represents an aspect of incremental power, and each one you cast aside damages the device. It is our hope to help you destroy it here and now, before we send you back.
You're getting sick of these voices already. The pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to the middle of the ocean. You're taken by surprise and suck in a lungful of water. As you sputter and wheeze, you spot a fin gliding toward you, which can only mean one of two things. Since there's no 'nado accompanying it, this must be a regular old shark. Aw man. 	Right as the crank shatters, you hear the voices return.
'Crap, they went too fast, bro, I told you they'd beat up like 3 bosses before your 'annual performance review' was over!'
'Shut up, bro, it was only 2!!!'
The voices get louder.
'Ahem you have done well, Chosen One. Each of these foes here are a product of the Traitor's device, trying to suppress your power. Each foe here represents an aspect of incremental power, and each one you cast aside damages the device. It is our hope to help you destroy it here and now, before we send you back.
You're getting sick of these voices already. The pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to the middle of the ocean. You're taken by surprise and suck in a lungful of water. As you sputter and wheeze, you spot a fin gliding toward you, which can only mean one of two things. Since there's no 'nado accompanying it, this must be a regular old shark. Aw man.
 	It keeps multiplying by 10...(everything after) 	The number 1.8 x 10^308 	14 	The max number a Double float datatype
 	As the shark falls to the bottom of the ocean, the pink mist once against swirls around, transporting you to a void. You float around helpless at first, but as you get your bearings you realize you're not alone. A massive, hulking behemoth of a number floats by. You've never seen anything so big in your life. You have to kill it. 	As the shark falls to the bottom of the ocean, the pink mist once against swirls around, transporting you to a void. You float around helpless at first, but as you get your bearings you realize you're not alone. A massive, hulking behemoth of a number floats by. You've never seen anything so big in your life. You have to kill it. 	As the shark falls to the bottom of the ocean, the pink mist once against swirls around, transporting you to a void. You float around helpless at first, but as you get your bearings you realize you're not alone. A massive, hulking behemoth of a number floats by. You've never seen anything so big in your life. You have to kill it. 	As the shark falls to the bottom of the ocean, the pink mist once against swirls around, transporting you to a void. You float around helpless at first, but as you get your bearings you realize you're not alone. A massive, hulking behemoth of a number floats by. You've never seen anything so big in your life. You have to kill it.
 	 	A Weird Goblin-Demon-Thing 	14 	Ickus of "Aaah! Real Monsters!" and an artist's impression of a Trimp
 	With the fall of the number, you feel reinvigorated! The device on your chest looks more damaged too. Once again the pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to probably the most pleasant place you've been so far! There's like, actual ground to walk on here, that already makes it at least a 9/10. You see a weird little goblin thing waddle up to you and raise its little arms menacingly like a discount, scuffed pikmin. You hate to end this critter's life, but them's the rules! 	With the fall of the number, you feel reinvigorated! The device on your chest looks more damaged too. Once again the pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to probably the most pleasant place you've been so far! There's like, actual ground to walk on here, that already makes it at least a 9/10. You see a weird little goblin thing waddle up to you and raise its little arms menacingly like a discount, scuffed pikmin. You hate to end this critter's life, but them's the rules! 	With the fall of the number, you feel reinvigorated! The device on your chest looks more damaged too. Once again the pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to probably the most pleasant place you've been so far! There's like, actual ground to walk on here, that already makes it at least a 9/10. You see a weird little goblin thing waddle up to you and raise its little arms menacingly like a discount, scuffed pikmin. You hate to end this critter's life, but them's the rules! 	With the fall of the number, you feel reinvigorated! The device on your chest looks more damaged too. Once again the pink mist surrounds you, and transports you to probably the most pleasant place you've been so far! There's like, actual ground to walk on here, that already makes it at least a 9/10. You see a weird little goblin thing waddle up to you and raise its little arms menacingly like a discount, scuffed pikmin. You hate to end this critter's life, but them's the rules!
 	 	A Cute Kitten 	14 	Kittens Game
 	The imp-goblin thing falls to the side, with little x's where its eyes were - a clear sign that the thing's dead. The pink mist seems to agree- and once again whisks you away! This time you're plopped in a bunch of comfy pillows, with a cute kitty on your lap! You play and cuddle with the cute kitty for an hour or ten.
(No you're not going to kill an innocent kitty, you monster!) 	The imp-goblin thing falls to the side, with little x's where its eyes were - a clear sign that the thing's dead. The pink mist seems to agree- and once again whisks you away! This time you're plopped in a bunch of comfy pillows, with a cute kitty on your lap! You play and cuddle with the cute kitty for an hour or ten.
(No you're not going to kill an innocent kitty, you monster!) 	The imp-goblin thing falls to the side, with little x's where its eyes were - a clear sign that the thing's dead. The pink mist seems to agree- and once again whisks you away! This time you're plopped in a bunch of comfy pillows, with a cute kitty on your lap! You play and cuddle with the cute kitty for an hour or ten.
(No you're not going to kill an innocent kitty, you monster!) 	The imp-goblin thing falls to the side, with little x's where its eyes were - a clear sign that the thing's dead. The pink mist seems to agree- and once again whisks you away! This time you're plopped in a bunch of comfy pillows, with a cute kitty on your lap! You play and cuddle with the cute kitty for an hour or ten.
(No you're not going to kill an innocent kitty, you monster!)
 	 	THE DRAGON OF WISDOM 	14 	Anti-Idle: The Game
 	The pink mist eventually gets impatient, and whisks you away once more. This time you're at a large marble gate - guarded by two strange dragons. One with a variety of horns adorning it's head and the other. Oh dear god. It's HIDEOUS.
You try not to vomit as the dragons lift their heads and address you, using the same voices you heard in your head!
'You've done well to make it this far, Chosen One.'
'Yes very well. We are the Guardian Dragons, very uh, powerful and ancient beings. I am the Dragon of Wisdom and my brother here is the Dragon of...uhhh... We see that you have managed to destroy the device on your chest planted by the Traitor! Yes very well done indeed!'
Surprised, you look down and notice - the device is gone! It must have fallen off as you pet that kitty earlier!
'We have just one more trial before we allow you to pass through these gates and enter the Evilverse. It's really the same universe you've existed in, only the Traitor has made it a lot more evil and menacing. They're also pretty bad with names as you can tell. Al-'
'Just tell them the trial, bro!'
'I was just about to, bro! God, you always interrupt me in front of guests!'
'You're the one too embarrassed to even say my name! Such a jerk! And another -'
As they start to bicker, you decide to just kick their annoying asses instead. Starting with righty over here. 	The pink mist eventually gets impatient, and whisks you away once more. This time you're at a large marble gate - guarded by two strange dragons. One with a variety of horns adorning it's head and the other. Oh dear god. It's HIDEOUS.
You try not to vomit as the dragons lift their heads and address you, using the same voices you heard in your head!
'You've done well to make it this far, Chosen One.'
'Yes very well. We are the Guardian Dragons, very uh, powerful and ancient beings. I am the Dragon of Wisdom and my brother here is the Dragon of...uhhh... We see that you have managed to destroy the device on your chest planted by the Traitor! Yes very well done indeed!'
Surprised, you look down and notice - the device is gone! It must have fallen off as you pet that kitty earlier!
'We have just one more trial before we allow you to pass through these gates and enter the Evilverse. It's really the same universe you've existed in, only the Traitor has made it a lot more evil and menacing. They're also pretty bad with names as you can tell. Al-'
'Just tell them the trial, bro!'
'I was just about to, bro! God, you always interrupt me in front of guests!'
'You're the one too embarrassed to even say my name! Such a jerk! And another -'
As they start to bicker, you decide to just kick their annoying asses instead. Starting with righty over here. 	The pink mist eventually gets impatient, and whisks you away once more. This time you're at a large marble gate - guarded by two strange dragons. One with a variety of horns adorning it's head and the other. Oh dear god. It's HIDEOUS.
You try not to vomit as the dragons lift their heads and address you, using the same voices you heard in your head!
'You've done well to make it this far, Chosen One.'
'Yes very well. We are the Guardian Dragons, very uh, powerful and ancient beings. I am the Dragon of Wisdom and my brother here is the Dragon of...uhhh... We see that you have managed to destroy the device on your chest planted by the Traitor! Yes very well done indeed!'
Surprised, you look down and notice - the device is gone! It must have fallen off as you pet that kitty earlier!
'We have just one more trial before we allow you to pass through these gates and enter the Evilverse. It's really the same universe you've existed in, only the Traitor has made it a lot more evil and menacing. They're also pretty bad with names as you can tell. Al-'
'Just tell them the trial, bro!'
'I was just about to, bro! God, you always interrupt me in front of guests!'
'You're the one too embarrassed to even say my name! Such a jerk! And another -'
As they start to bicker, you decide to just kick their annoying asses instead. Starting with righty over here. 	The pink mist eventually gets impatient, and whisks you away once more. This time you're at a large marble gate - guarded by two strange dragons. One with a variety of horns adorning it's head and the other. Oh dear god. It's HIDEOUS.
You try not to vomit as the dragons lift their heads and address you, using the same voices you heard in your head!
'You've done well to make it this far, Chosen One.'
'Yes very well. We are the Guardian Dragons, very uh, powerful and ancient beings. I am the Dragon of Wisdom and my brother here is the Dragon of...uhhh... We see that you have managed to destroy the device on your chest planted by the Traitor! Yes very well done indeed!'
Surprised, you look down and notice - the device is gone! It must have fallen off as you pet that kitty earlier!
'We have just one more trial before we allow you to pass through these gates and enter the Evilverse. It's really the same universe you've existed in, only the Traitor has made it a lot more evil and menacing. They're also pretty bad with names as you can tell. Al-'
'Just tell them the trial, bro!'
'I was just about to, bro! God, you always interrupt me in front of guests!'
'You're the one too embarrassed to even say my name! Such a jerk! And another -'
As they start to bicker, you decide to just kick their annoying asses instead. Starting with righty over here.
 	 	THE DRAGON OF DILDO 	14 	Bad Dragon Dildos
 	And now you focus your attacks on the dragon to the left. Don't even look at this boss' name, you're better off not thinking about it. Ew. 	And now you focus your attacks on the dragon to the left. Don't even look at this boss' name, you're better off not thinking about it. Ew. 	And now you focus your attacks on the dragon to the left. Don't even look at this boss' name, you're better off not thinking about it. Ew. 	And now you focus your attacks on the dragon to the left. Don't even look at this boss' name, you're better off not thinking about it. Ew.
 	 	The Bouncer, Part 2 	14 	
 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Meta Lands!)
You step through the gate and to your utter astonishment - you're standing right outside the interdimensional party! The world feels very different though. Despite being immensely more powerful than your last visit, you feel weak. Or rather, everything else feels much stronger too. There must have been a reason you'd be transported here by the dragons, so you take a moment to sit down, and recall your last visit here. You partied with a lot of random folks, and met the weird Spiky Haired guy, and got yanked around on a quest to find these MacGuffins the Traitor was collecting for power. That's about all you remember. But wait a minute. The punchbowl! You remember seeing something in there when you spiked it for the 36th time but didn't recognise it for what it was - another MacGuffin! You have to get back inside!
Unfortunately for you, the same bouncer is guarding the lineup from way back at boss 48. And he remembers you, too. 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Meta Lands!)
You step through the gate and to your utter astonishment - you're standing right outside the interdimensional party! The world feels very different though. Despite being immensely more powerful than your last visit, you feel weak. Or rather, everything else feels much stronger too. There must have been a reason you'd be transported here by the dragons, so you take a moment to sit down, and recall your last visit here. You partied with a lot of random folks, and met the weird Spiky Haired guy, and got yanked around on a quest to find these MacGuffins the Traitor was collecting for power. That's about all you remember. But wait a minute. The punchbowl! You remember seeing something in there when you spiked it for the 36th time but didn't recognise it for what it was - another MacGuffin! You have to get back inside!
Unfortunately for you, the same bouncer is guarding the lineup from way back at boss 48. And he remembers you, too. 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Meta Lands!)
You step through the gate and to your utter astonishment - you're standing right outside the interdimensional party! The world feels very different though. Despite being immensely more powerful than your last visit, you feel weak. Or rather, everything else feels much stronger too. There must have been a reason you'd be transported here by the dragons, so you take a moment to sit down, and recall your last visit here. You partied with a lot of random folks, and met the weird Spiky Haired guy, and got yanked around on a quest to find these MacGuffins the Traitor was collecting for power. That's about all you remember. But wait a minute. The punchbowl! You remember seeing something in there when you spiked it for the 36th time but didn't recognise it for what it was - another MacGuffin! You have to get back inside!
Unfortunately for you, the same bouncer is guarding the lineup from way back at boss 48. And he remembers you, too. 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Meta Lands!)
You step through the gate and to your utter astonishment - you're standing right outside the interdimensional party! The world feels very different though. Despite being immensely more powerful than your last visit, you feel weak. Or rather, everything else feels much stronger too. There must have been a reason you'd be transported here by the dragons, so you take a moment to sit down, and recall your last visit here. You partied with a lot of random folks, and met the weird Spiky Haired guy, and got yanked around on a quest to find these MacGuffins the Traitor was collecting for power. That's about all you remember. But wait a minute. The punchbowl! You remember seeing something in there when you spiked it for the 36th time but didn't recognise it for what it was - another MacGuffin! You have to get back inside!
Unfortunately for you, the same bouncer is guarding the lineup from way back at boss 48. And he remembers you, too.
 	 	Jambi 	14 	Pee-Wee's Playhouse
 	You force your way inside, and find it every bit as crowded as before. You beeline it to the punchbowl but, crap, the MacGuffin isn't there anymore. You wish you knew where it went to! A weird genie floating nearby seems to have read your mind and offers to help, if you beat him up in return. What a weirdo. 	You force your way inside, and find it every bit as crowded as before. You beeline it to the punchbowl but, crap, the MacGuffin isn't there anymore. You wish you knew where it went to! A weird genie floating nearby seems to have read your mind and offers to help, if you beat him up in return. What a weirdo. 	You force your way inside, and find it every bit as crowded as before. You beeline it to the punchbowl but, crap, the MacGuffin isn't there anymore. You wish you knew where it went to! A weird genie floating nearby seems to have read your mind and offers to help, if you beat him up in return. What a weirdo. 	You force your way inside, and find it every bit as crowded as before. You beeline it to the punchbowl but, crap, the MacGuffin isn't there anymore. You wish you knew where it went to! A weird genie floating nearby seems to have read your mind and offers to help, if you beat him up in return. What a weirdo.
 	 	God Of Thunder 	14 	Thor
 	The genie seems satisfied with your ass-kicking ability and points out someone in the crowd who scooped up the MacGuffin into their drink a little while ago. You thank the genie and try to push your way through all the party goers. You manage to make it to the guy the genie pointed out - someone who looks a LOT bigger up close. They're wearing a powerful set of armour, with a winged helm and a menacing looking hammer to their side. You ask them about the MacGuffin they had in their drink, and he narrows his eyes at you.
'YOU!! I SAID I'D KILL YOU IF YOU EVER SHOWED YOUR FACE IN HERE!' Suddenly, the party goes pitch black -all except this angry thunder god's face. What did you do to piss them off? 	The genie seems satisfied with your ass-kicking ability and points out someone in the crowd who scooped up the MacGuffin into their drink a little while ago. You thank the genie and try to push your way through all the party goers. You manage to make it to the guy the genie pointed out - someone who looks a LOT bigger up close. They're wearing a powerful set of armour, with a winged helm and a menacing looking hammer to their side. You ask them about the MacGuffin they had in their drink, and he narrows his eyes at you.
'YOU!! I SAID I'D KILL YOU IF YOU EVER SHOWED YOUR FACE IN HERE!' Suddenly, the party goes pitch black -all except this angry thunder god's face. What did you do to piss them off? 	The genie seems satisfied with your ass-kicking ability and points out someone in the crowd who scooped up the MacGuffin into their drink a little while ago. You thank the genie and try to push your way through all the party goers. You manage to make it to the guy the genie pointed out - someone who looks a LOT bigger up close. They're wearing a powerful set of armour, with a winged helm and a menacing looking hammer to their side. You ask them about the MacGuffin they had in their drink, and he narrows his eyes at you.
'YOU!! I SAID I'D KILL YOU IF YOU EVER SHOWED YOUR FACE IN HERE!' Suddenly, the party goes pitch black -all except this angry thunder god's face. What did you do to piss them off? 	The genie seems satisfied with your ass-kicking ability and points out someone in the crowd who scooped up the MacGuffin into their drink a little while ago. You thank the genie and try to push your way through all the party goers. You manage to make it to the guy the genie pointed out - someone who looks a LOT bigger up close. They're wearing a powerful set of armour, with a winged helm and a menacing looking hammer to their side. You ask them about the MacGuffin they had in their drink, and he narrows his eyes at you.
'YOU!! I SAID I'D KILL YOU IF YOU EVER SHOWED YOUR FACE IN HERE!' Suddenly, the party goes pitch black -all except this angry thunder god's face. What did you do to piss them off?
 	 	The Entire State Of South Dakota 	14 	
 	The god explodes in a huge burst of lightning, blasting you away at mach speed! Fortunately, the first being you collide with happens to be the entire state of South Dakota. However, it doesn't seem pleased to have someone colliding into it at over 5000 kph. 	The god explodes in a huge burst of lightning, blasting you away at mach speed! Fortunately, the first being you collide with happens to be the entire state of South Dakota. However, it doesn't seem pleased to have someone colliding into it at over 5000 kph. 	The god explodes in a huge burst of lightning, blasting you away at mach speed! Fortunately, the first being you collide with happens to be the entire state of South Dakota. However, it doesn't seem pleased to have someone colliding into it at over 5000 kph. 	The god explodes in a huge burst of lightning, blasting you away at mach speed! Fortunately, the first being you collide with happens to be the entire state of South Dakota. However, it doesn't seem pleased to have someone colliding into it at over 5000 kph.
 	 	A Huge Stack of Pogs 	14 	Pogs
 	On the plus side, north dakota is now indebted to you,since it can now be known as just Dakota! The bad news is your trail has run cold to find this MacGuffin. With no other leads, you simply ask the other attendees if they've seen a small hand-sized glowing object anywhere. Eventually, a huge stack of pogs waves you over.
'Hey friend. I'm from the Fadlands,ever been there? I've seen a couple of these Macguffins 'yer describin! One in my homeland, and I swear I saw one handed over to the Life of the Party somewhere 'round these parts. Hope that helps! I'm just a humble 'ol stack of Pogs here, yessiree. Being all poggish and stuff.'
Despite the friendly advice, you can't help but smash this stack of pogs. 	On the plus side, north dakota is now indebted to you,since it can now be known as just Dakota! The bad news is your trail has run cold to find this MacGuffin. With no other leads, you simply ask the other attendees if they've seen a small hand-sized glowing object anywhere. Eventually, a huge stack of pogs waves you over.
'Hey friend. I'm from the Fadlands,ever been there? I've seen a couple of these Macguffins 'yer describin! One in my homeland, and I swear I saw one handed over to the Life of the Party somewhere 'round these parts. Hope that helps! I'm just a humble 'ol stack of Pogs here, yessiree. Being all poggish and stuff.'
Despite the friendly advice, you can't help but smash this stack of pogs. 	On the plus side, north dakota is now indebted to you,since it can now be known as just Dakota! The bad news is your trail has run cold to find this MacGuffin. With no other leads, you simply ask the other attendees if they've seen a small hand-sized glowing object anywhere. Eventually, a huge stack of pogs waves you over.
'Hey friend. I'm from the Fadlands,ever been there? I've seen a couple of these Macguffins 'yer describin! One in my homeland, and I swear I saw one handed over to the Life of the Party somewhere 'round these parts. Hope that helps! I'm just a humble 'ol stack of Pogs here, yessiree. Being all poggish and stuff.'
Despite the friendly advice, you can't help but smash this stack of pogs. 	On the plus side, north dakota is now indebted to you,since it can now be known as just Dakota! The bad news is your trail has run cold to find this MacGuffin. With no other leads, you simply ask the other attendees if they've seen a small hand-sized glowing object anywhere. Eventually, a huge stack of pogs waves you over.
'Hey friend. I'm from the Fadlands,ever been there? I've seen a couple of these Macguffins 'yer describin! One in my homeland, and I swear I saw one handed over to the Life of the Party somewhere 'round these parts. Hope that helps! I'm just a humble 'ol stack of Pogs here, yessiree. Being all poggish and stuff.'
Despite the friendly advice, you can't help but smash this stack of pogs.
 	 	Three Guys Shouting out 'Ed 	15 	Ed, Edd and Eddy
 	While everyone else deals with the explosion of a thousand little cardboard discs, you venture toward the Life of the Party. He's not exactly hard to find, seeing as he embodies the spirit of this everlasting party. Chatting it up with the rest of the party goers, cracking some well-thought jokes, and all around being a classy as hell guy. As you try to jostle through the crowd, three lumpy looking guys block your path. All they do is shout 'Ed!' at each other, to people around them, and at you! And they just won't budge! Argh!!! 	While everyone else deals with the explosion of a thousand little cardboard discs, you venture toward the Life of the Party. He's not exactly hard to find, seeing as he embodies the spirit of this everlasting party. Chatting it up with the rest of the party goers, cracking some well-thought jokes, and all around being a classy as hell guy. As you try to jostle through the crowd, three lumpy looking guys block your path. All they do is shout 'Ed!' at each other, to people around them, and at you! And they just won't budge! Argh!!! 	While everyone else deals with the explosion of a thousand little cardboard discs, you venture toward the Life of the Party. He's not exactly hard to find, seeing as he embodies the spirit of this everlasting party. Chatting it up with the rest of the party goers, cracking some well-thought jokes, and all around being a classy as hell guy. As you try to jostle through the crowd, three lumpy looking guys block your path. All they do is shout 'Ed!' at each other, to people around them, and at you! And they just won't budge! Argh!!! 	While everyone else deals with the explosion of a thousand little cardboard discs, you venture toward the Life of the Party. He's not exactly hard to find, seeing as he embodies the spirit of this everlasting party. Chatting it up with the rest of the party goers, cracking some well-thought jokes, and all around being a classy as hell guy. As you try to jostle through the crowd, three lumpy looking guys block your path. All they do is shout 'Ed!' at each other, to people around them, and at you! And they just won't budge! Argh!!!
 	 	Mr. Chow 	15 	The Hangover
 	Finally, you've managed to budge through those annoying guys and get close to the Life of the Party! You're about to tap him on the shoulder when a car bursts through the wall of the party, right in between you two! A guy climbs out of the car as if nothing happens, sporting a set of cool shades and a tracksuit. He shouts out, 'NOW THAT CHOW IS HERE, LET'S REEEEAAAAALLY GET THE PARTY STARTED!!!' Man, this guy's a dick! 	Finally, you've managed to budge through those annoying guys and get close to the Life of the Party! You're about to tap him on the shoulder when a car bursts through the wall of the party, right in between you two! A guy climbs out of the car as if nothing happens, sporting a set of cool shades and a tracksuit. He shouts out, 'NOW THAT CHOW IS HERE, LET'S REEEEAAAAALLY GET THE PARTY STARTED!!!' Man, this guy's a dick! 	Finally, you've managed to budge through those annoying guys and get close to the Life of the Party! You're about to tap him on the shoulder when a car bursts through the wall of the party, right in between you two! A guy climbs out of the car as if nothing happens, sporting a set of cool shades and a tracksuit. He shouts out, 'NOW THAT CHOW IS HERE, LET'S REEEEAAAAALLY GET THE PARTY STARTED!!!' Man, this guy's a dick! 	Finally, you've managed to budge through those annoying guys and get close to the Life of the Party! You're about to tap him on the shoulder when a car bursts through the wall of the party, right in between you two! A guy climbs out of the car as if nothing happens, sporting a set of cool shades and a tracksuit. He shouts out, 'NOW THAT CHOW IS HERE, LET'S REEEEAAAAALLY GET THE PARTY STARTED!!!' Man, this guy's a dick!
 	 	The Life Of The Party 	15 	The Great Gatsby
 	With that asshole dealt with, *finally* you can ask about the MacGuffin. The Life of the Party doesn't seem to even hear what you say, instead he just laughs and clamps you on the shoulder. After a while he raises his wine glass to perform yet another toast for some reason or another. And that's when you see it - the MacGuffin is inside his glass! 	With that asshole dealt with, *finally* you can ask about the MacGuffin. The Life of the Party doesn't seem to even hear what you say, instead he just laughs and clamps you on the shoulder. After a while he raises his wine glass to perform yet another toast for some reason or another. And that's when you see it - the MacGuffin is inside his glass! 	With that asshole dealt with, *finally* you can ask about the MacGuffin. The Life of the Party doesn't seem to even hear what you say, instead he just laughs and clamps you on the shoulder. After a while he raises his wine glass to perform yet another toast for some reason or another. And that's when you see it - the MacGuffin is inside his glass! 	With that asshole dealt with, *finally* you can ask about the MacGuffin. The Life of the Party doesn't seem to even hear what you say, instead he just laughs and clamps you on the shoulder. After a while he raises his wine glass to perform yet another toast for some reason or another. And that's when you see it - the MacGuffin is inside his glass!
 	 	Permanenet 	15 	Typo of "permanent"
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Interdimensional Party!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: The GODMOTHER!)
With the MacGuffin secure, you decide now's a good time to head back to the Spiky Haired Guy and figure out what the hell is going on in the universe since your absence.
*ZWOOP*
You find him passed out while standing up, which honestly is an impressive feat. You burp to wake him up and he crumples to the ground.
'Whoah what I- oh hey, it's you. Thought you died, it's been like a week, man. Also, the Traitor guy has turned up the power in this universe to like 11, if you haven't noticed. It's like we're all superpowered beings or something' He casually punches a hole through the concrete floor and shoots down a bald eagle with his laser vision to prove his point. 'Cool trick huh? I'm not sure exactly the point of it all, but it's definitely gonna hinder your search for more MacGuffins. Before you head onto that quest though, I accidentally summoned some eldritch Gods through a series of unfortunate typos and I'm forcing you to help me banish them. Bye'
Before you can process what he even said, he zaps a blood-red portal beneath you. ARGGGGGHHH!!!!
-And you fall into what can only be described as a world created by sewing various bits of flesh together. This place is horrifying! You hear the sound of an intercom turning on and the Spiky Haired Guy's voice from nowhere in particular. 'Thanks for volunteering buddy. There's like, exactly 8 demons or so to remove from existence. What a convenient number. Anyways have fun!' *CLICK*
It doesn't take much searching in this gorey landscape to find your first target. In a large valley of discarded teeth, PERMANENET comes shuffling out. The large eyeball adorning its massive tongue glows red and fires a soul beam at you!	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Interdimensional Party!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: The GODMOTHER!)
With the MacGuffin secure, you decide now's a good time to head back to the Spiky Haired Guy and figure out what the hell is going on in the universe since your absence.
*ZWOOP*
You find him passed out while standing up, which honestly is an impressive feat. You burp to wake him up and he crumples to the ground.
'Whoah what I- oh hey, it's you. Thought you died, it's been like a week, man. Also, the Traitor guy has turned up the power in this universe to like 11, if you haven't noticed. It's like we're all superpowered beings or something' He casually punches a hole through the concrete floor and shoots down a bald eagle with his laser vision to prove his point. 'Cool trick huh? I'm not sure exactly the point of it all, but it's definitely gonna hinder your search for more MacGuffins. Before you head onto that quest though, I accidentally summoned some eldritch Gods through a series of unfortunate typos and I'm forcing you to help me banish them. Bye'
Before you can process what he even said, he zaps a blood-red portal beneath you. ARGGGGGHHH!!!!
-And you fall into what can only be described as a world created by sewing various bits of flesh together. This place is horrifying! You hear the sound of an intercom turning on and the Spiky Haired Guy's voice from nowhere in particular. 'Thanks for volunteering buddy. There's like, exactly 8 demons or so to remove from existence. What a convenient number. Anyways have fun!' *CLICK*
It doesn't take much searching in this gorey landscape to find your first target. In a large valley of discarded teeth, PERMANENET comes shuffling out. The large eyeball adorning its massive tongue glows red and fires a soul beam at you!	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Interdimensional Party!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: The GODMOTHER!)
With the MacGuffin secure, you decide now's a good time to head back to the Spiky Haired Guy and figure out what the hell is going on in the universe since your absence.
*ZWOOP*
You find him passed out while standing up, which honestly is an impressive feat. You burp to wake him up and he crumples to the ground.
'Whoah what I- oh hey, it's you. Thought you died, it's been like a week, man. Also, the Traitor guy has turned up the power in this universe to like 11, if you haven't noticed. It's like we're all superpowered beings or something' He casually punches a hole through the concrete floor and shoots down a bald eagle with his laser vision to prove his point. 'Cool trick huh? I'm not sure exactly the point of it all, but it's definitely gonna hinder your search for more MacGuffins. Before you head onto that quest though, I accidentally summoned some eldritch Gods through a series of unfortunate typos and I'm forcing you to help me banish them. Bye'
Before you can process what he even said, he zaps a blood-red portal beneath you. ARGGGGGHHH!!!!
-And you fall into what can only be described as a world created by sewing various bits of flesh together. This place is horrifying! You hear the sound of an intercom turning on and the Spiky Haired Guy's voice from nowhere in particular. 'Thanks for volunteering buddy. There's like, exactly 8 demons or so to remove from existence. What a convenient number. Anyways have fun!' *CLICK*
It doesn't take much searching in this gorey landscape to find your first target. In a large valley of discarded teeth, PERMANENET comes shuffling out. The large eyeball adorning its massive tongue glows red and fires a soul beam at you!	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Interdimensional Party!)
(You've also unlocked a new Titan: The GODMOTHER!)
With the MacGuffin secure, you decide now's a good time to head back to the Spiky Haired Guy and figure out what the hell is going on in the universe since your absence.
*ZWOOP*
You find him passed out while standing up, which honestly is an impressive feat. You burp to wake him up and he crumples to the ground.
'Whoah what I- oh hey, it's you. Thought you died, it's been like a week, man. Also, the Traitor guy has turned up the power in this universe to like 11, if you haven't noticed. It's like we're all superpowered beings or something' He casually punches a hole through the concrete floor and shoots down a bald eagle with his laser vision to prove his point. 'Cool trick huh? I'm not sure exactly the point of it all, but it's definitely gonna hinder your search for more MacGuffins. Before you head onto that quest though, I accidentally summoned some eldritch Gods through a series of unfortunate typos and I'm forcing you to help me banish them. Bye'
Before you can process what he even said, he zaps a blood-red portal beneath you. ARGGGGGHHH!!!!
-And you fall into what can only be described as a world created by sewing various bits of flesh together. This place is horrifying! You hear the sound of an intercom turning on and the Spiky Haired Guy's voice from nowhere in particular. 'Thanks for volunteering buddy. There's like, exactly 8 demons or so to remove from existence. What a convenient number. Anyways have fun!' *CLICK*
It doesn't take much searching in this gorey landscape to find your first target. In a large valley of discarded teeth, PERMANENET comes shuffling out. The large eyeball adorning its massive tongue glows red and fires a soul beam at you!
 	 	Coudl 	15 	Typo of "could"
 	One demon banished, seven to go... every minute you spend in this place you can feel more of your sanity slipping away (if you had any to begin with, that is). You need to finish this task, and quickly.
You spot a fort made entirely of flesh on the horizon and decide to check it out. As you near the entrance, a ghastly being blocks your path! It is COUDL, whose very existence offends the natural order of things, and whose only purpose is to consume - Consume everything!!! 	One demon banished, seven to go... every minute you spend in this place you can feel more of your sanity slipping away (if you had any to begin with, that is). You need to finish this task, and quickly.
You spot a fort made entirely of flesh on the horizon and decide to check it out. As you near the entrance, a ghastly being blocks your path! It is COUDL, whose very existence offends the natural order of things, and whose only purpose is to consume - Consume everything!!! 	One demon banished, seven to go... every minute you spend in this place you can feel more of your sanity slipping away (if you had any to begin with, that is). You need to finish this task, and quickly.
You spot a fort made entirely of flesh on the horizon and decide to check it out. As you near the entrance, a ghastly being blocks your path! It is COUDL, whose very existence offends the natural order of things, and whose only purpose is to consume - Consume everything!!! 	One demon banished, seven to go... every minute you spend in this place you can feel more of your sanity slipping away (if you had any to begin with, that is). You need to finish this task, and quickly.
You spot a fort made entirely of flesh on the horizon and decide to check it out. As you near the entrance, a ghastly being blocks your path! It is COUDL, whose very existence offends the natural order of things, and whose only purpose is to consume - Consume everything!!!
 	 	Liek 	15 	Typo of "like"
 	As you slay the foul demon, the skies boom out with thunder, and blood begins raining from the sky. Ugh!! You dash inside the fort of flesh, but come face to face with yet another monster - LIEK. You can almost imagine a face amidst the flesh, eyeballs and tape that makes up its physical form. Its face contorts into a tortured grimace, and it lunges towards you, a blob of flesh at its side morphing into a giant fist! 	As you slay the foul demon, the skies boom out with thunder, and blood begins raining from the sky. Ugh!! You dash inside the fort of flesh, but come face to face with yet another monster - LIEK. You can almost imagine a face amidst the flesh, eyeballs and tape that makes up its physical form. Its face contorts into a tortured grimace, and it lunges towards you, a blob of flesh at its side morphing into a giant fist! 	As you slay the foul demon, the skies boom out with thunder, and blood begins raining from the sky. Ugh!! You dash inside the fort of flesh, but come face to face with yet another monster - LIEK. You can almost imagine a face amidst the flesh, eyeballs and tape that makes up its physical form. Its face contorts into a tortured grimace, and it lunges towards you, a blob of flesh at its side morphing into a giant fist! 	As you slay the foul demon, the skies boom out with thunder, and blood begins raining from the sky. Ugh!! You dash inside the fort of flesh, but come face to face with yet another monster - LIEK. You can almost imagine a face amidst the flesh, eyeballs and tape that makes up its physical form. Its face contorts into a tortured grimace, and it lunges towards you, a blob of flesh at its side morphing into a giant fist!
 	 	Blodo 	15 	Typo of "blood"
 	As another Eldritch Typo God falls, its flesh burns black and turns to dust before your eyes. Horrified, you back away, into another room in this fort. It's an open dome of sorts, and you see the torrential downpour of blood fill a chamber in the middle. Suspended above, a still-beating heart is impaled on a wheel, and in the growing pool of blood, winged eyeballs spawn and fly up and out of the open roof! The blood rain has indeed awoken BLODO. The heart beats faster and faster, and the winged eyeballs charge at you! 	As another Eldritch Typo God falls, its flesh burns black and turns to dust before your eyes. Horrified, you back away, into another room in this fort. It's an open dome of sorts, and you see the torrential downpour of blood fill a chamber in the middle. Suspended above, a still-beating heart is impaled on a wheel, and in the growing pool of blood, winged eyeballs spawn and fly up and out of the open roof! The blood rain has indeed awoken BLODO. The heart beats faster and faster, and the winged eyeballs charge at you! 	As another Eldritch Typo God falls, its flesh burns black and turns to dust before your eyes. Horrified, you back away, into another room in this fort. It's an open dome of sorts, and you see the torrential downpour of blood fill a chamber in the middle. Suspended above, a still-beating heart is impaled on a wheel, and in the growing pool of blood, winged eyeballs spawn and fly up and out of the open roof! The blood rain has indeed awoken BLODO. The heart beats faster and faster, and the winged eyeballs charge at you! 	As another Eldritch Typo God falls, its flesh burns black and turns to dust before your eyes. Horrified, you back away, into another room in this fort. It's an open dome of sorts, and you see the torrential downpour of blood fill a chamber in the middle. Suspended above, a still-beating heart is impaled on a wheel, and in the growing pool of blood, winged eyeballs spawn and fly up and out of the open roof! The blood rain has indeed awoken BLODO. The heart beats faster and faster, and the winged eyeballs charge at you!
 	 	Brian 	15 	Typo of "brain"
 	As you defeat the winged creatures, the heart beats faster, and faster, and FASTER until it explodes in an excessively gory paste! Is this idle game even PG-13 anymore? Who knows!
Traumatized, you sit by the edge of the blood pool and try to shake off the horrors you've witnessed. After a moment of meditation - you swear you spot an old high school buddy of yours. Hey wait - it IS your old buddy from High School! Brian! You haven't seen them in years! Despite existing in a world of literal nightmares, you two take a moment to catch up on your lives. Turns out that he's married and has two kids now, and has a successful business installing carpets! He also does some volunteer work on the side at the local animal shelter.
It finally occurs to you to ask Brian how he got here.
'Oh, I was just about ready to close up the shop when a red portal transported me here. Some guy on an intercom said he screwed up, said he was actually looking for a brain or something but made a typo? Classic mistake - the fella seems nice enough though! I just hope the Mrs. isn't too worried about my absence.'
He pauses for a moment.
'Are you here to banish me back to our normal universe? 'Cause that'd be great!'
You clap your old buddy on the back, and get ready to transport him out of this heck realm via a good ol' fashioned ass-kicking. 	As you defeat the winged creatures, the heart beats faster, and faster, and FASTER until it explodes in an excessively gory paste! Is this idle game even PG-13 anymore? Who knows!
Traumatized, you sit by the edge of the blood pool and try to shake off the horrors you've witnessed. After a moment of meditation - you swear you spot an old high school buddy of yours. Hey wait - it IS your old buddy from High School! Brian! You haven't seen them in years! Despite existing in a world of literal nightmares, you two take a moment to catch up on your lives. Turns out that he's married and has two kids now, and has a successful business installing carpets! He also does some volunteer work on the side at the local animal shelter.
It finally occurs to you to ask Brian how he got here.
'Oh, I was just about ready to close up the shop when a red portal transported me here. Some guy on an intercom said he screwed up, said he was actually looking for a brain or something but made a typo? Classic mistake - the fella seems nice enough though! I just hope the Mrs. isn't too worried about my absence.'
He pauses for a moment.
'Are you here to banish me back to our normal universe? 'Cause that'd be great!'
You clap your old buddy on the back, and get ready to transport him out of this heck realm via a good ol' fashioned ass-kicking. 	As you defeat the winged creatures, the heart beats faster, and faster, and FASTER until it explodes in an excessively gory paste! Is this idle game even PG-13 anymore? Who knows!
Traumatized, you sit by the edge of the blood pool and try to shake off the horrors you've witnessed. After a moment of meditation - you swear you spot an old high school buddy of yours. Hey wait - it IS your old buddy from High School! Brian! You haven't seen them in years! Despite existing in a world of literal nightmares, you two take a moment to catch up on your lives. Turns out that he's married and has two kids now, and has a successful business installing carpets! He also does some volunteer work on the side at the local animal shelter.
It finally occurs to you to ask Brian how he got here.
'Oh, I was just about ready to close up the shop when a red portal transported me here. Some guy on an intercom said he screwed up, said he was actually looking for a brain or something but made a typo? Classic mistake - the fella seems nice enough though! I just hope the Mrs. isn't too worried about my absence.'
He pauses for a moment.
'Are you here to banish me back to our normal universe? 'Cause that'd be great!'
You clap your old buddy on the back, and get ready to transport him out of this heck realm via a good ol' fashioned ass-kicking. 	As you defeat the winged creatures, the heart beats faster, and faster, and FASTER until it explodes in an excessively gory paste! Is this idle game even PG-13 anymore? Who knows!
Traumatized, you sit by the edge of the blood pool and try to shake off the horrors you've witnessed. After a moment of meditation - you swear you spot an old high school buddy of yours. Hey wait - it IS your old buddy from High School! Brian! You haven't seen them in years! Despite existing in a world of literal nightmares, you two take a moment to catch up on your lives. Turns out that he's married and has two kids now, and has a successful business installing carpets! He also does some volunteer work on the side at the local animal shelter.
It finally occurs to you to ask Brian how he got here.
'Oh, I was just about ready to close up the shop when a red portal transported me here. Some guy on an intercom said he screwed up, said he was actually looking for a brain or something but made a typo? Classic mistake - the fella seems nice enough though! I just hope the Mrs. isn't too worried about my absence.'
He pauses for a moment.
'Are you here to banish me back to our normal universe? 'Cause that'd be great!'
You clap your old buddy on the back, and get ready to transport him out of this heck realm via a good ol' fashioned ass-kicking.
 	 	Odign 	15 	Typo of "doing"
 	The battered body of Brian compresses into a tiny cube and winks out of existence, but not before he gives a friendly wave goodbye! You smile and wave back. That sure helped raise your spirits!
As you move into the heart of the fort, you spot two more of the beings guarding a doorway. As you near them, they move to block your path. It is ODIGN and HORUS, and it's clear you aren't getting in without a fight.
You decide to take out ODIGN first, since you can see that's the name of the current boss on this page. It just makes sense. 	The battered body of Brian compresses into a tiny cube and winks out of existence, but not before he gives a friendly wave goodbye! You smile and wave back. That sure helped raise your spirits!
As you move into the heart of the fort, you spot two more of the beings guarding a doorway. As you near them, they move to block your path. It is ODIGN and HORUS, and it's clear you aren't getting in without a fight.
You decide to take out ODIGN first, since you can see that's the name of the current boss on this page. It just makes sense. 	The battered body of Brian compresses into a tiny cube and winks out of existence, but not before he gives a friendly wave goodbye! You smile and wave back. That sure helped raise your spirits!
As you move into the heart of the fort, you spot two more of the beings guarding a doorway. As you near them, they move to block your path. It is ODIGN and HORUS, and it's clear you aren't getting in without a fight.
You decide to take out ODIGN first, since you can see that's the name of the current boss on this page. It just makes sense. 	The battered body of Brian compresses into a tiny cube and winks out of existence, but not before he gives a friendly wave goodbye! You smile and wave back. That sure helped raise your spirits!
As you move into the heart of the fort, you spot two more of the beings guarding a doorway. As you near them, they move to block your path. It is ODIGN and HORUS, and it's clear you aren't getting in without a fight.
You decide to take out ODIGN first, since you can see that's the name of the current boss on this page. It just makes sense.
 	 	Horus 	15 	Typo of "hours"
 	ODIGN falls, the slugs from its eyes crawling away as a jet-black beam of light burns the rest of its body to ash. At the sight of this, HORUS lets out a piercing wail, and your movements slow down to a crawl. Your foe seems unaffected though - that's gonna cause a problem! 	ODIGN falls, the slugs from its eyes crawling away as a jet-black beam of light burns the rest of its body to ash. At the sight of this, HORUS lets out a piercing wail, and your movements slow down to a crawl. Your foe seems unaffected though - that's gonna cause a problem! 	ODIGN falls, the slugs from its eyes crawling away as a jet-black beam of light burns the rest of its body to ash. At the sight of this, HORUS lets out a piercing wail, and your movements slow down to a crawl. Your foe seems unaffected though - that's gonna cause a problem! 	ODIGN falls, the slugs from its eyes crawling away as a jet-black beam of light burns the rest of its body to ash. At the sight of this, HORUS lets out a piercing wail, and your movements slow down to a crawl. Your foe seems unaffected though - that's gonna cause a problem!
 	 	ELDER TYPO GOD, ELXU 	16 	
 	At last, HORUS is slain, its body shattering into a thousand pieces! You're now able to step through the door and confront the final Eldritch Typo God, ELXU. Just staring into the gaping maw of this beast is enough to make your skin crawl and your soul quiver. A shimmering shield is raised around it, with ancient, evil symbols glowing along the edges. You hear the low rumble of mocking laughter erupt from within, and it attacks! 	At last, HORUS is slain, its body shattering into a thousand pieces! You're now able to step through the door and confront the final Eldritch Typo God, ELXU. Just staring into the gaping maw of this beast is enough to make your skin crawl and your soul quiver. A shimmering shield is raised around it, with ancient, evil symbols glowing along the edges. You hear the low rumble of mocking laughter erupt from within, and it attacks! 	At last, HORUS is slain, its body shattering into a thousand pieces! You're now able to step through the door and confront the final Eldritch Typo God, ELXU. Just staring into the gaping maw of this beast is enough to make your skin crawl and your soul quiver. A shimmering shield is raised around it, with ancient, evil symbols glowing along the edges. You hear the low rumble of mocking laughter erupt from within, and it attacks! 	At last, HORUS is slain, its body shattering into a thousand pieces! You're now able to step through the door and confront the final Eldritch Typo God, ELXU. Just staring into the gaping maw of this beast is enough to make your skin crawl and your soul quiver. A shimmering shield is raised around it, with ancient, evil symbols glowing along the edges. You hear the low rumble of mocking laughter erupt from within, and it attacks!
 	 	A Very Sad Slinky 	16 	Slinky
 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Typo Zonw! Yes, that typo was intended.)
The beast's mouth opens wider and wider, bending backwards - and begins devouring itself! It's as if pac-man lost a life, but happening for real. All that's left is a giant eye which rolls towards your feet. You decide to take it with you as a gross trophy. As you pick the eye up, the intercom clicks back on 'Yep, that should do it. Thanks for the solid, now let's get back to hunting these MacGuffins.'
Another red portal appears beneath your feet, and you land in a crumpled heap on the concrete floor on Spiky Haired Guy's garage. Great.
'Hey so about the MacGuffins - I've actually got no leads right now. Nothin'. The whole Eldritch Typo God thing was supposed to buy me time to find something but it wasn't enough. So if you have any ideas, now is the time.'
You rack your head thinking of anything then it comes to you! The pog creature from the Interdimensional Party mentioned seeing other MacGuffins, including one in their homeland!
'The Fad-Lands, huh? It's a stupid place - it's permanently stuck in the year 1998 or something. Boooooring.'
The Spiky Haired Guy fiddles with your device for a moment then sends you on your way.
*ZWOOP*
You land with a crunch onto something hard! Oof! As you get to your feet, you look to see a sad little slinky, crushed by your muscular, toned booty! How awful. You're gonna have to put the poor thing out of its misery. 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Typo Zonw! Yes, that typo was intended.)
The beast's mouth opens wider and wider, bending backwards - and begins devouring itself! It's as if pac-man lost a life, but happening for real. All that's left is a giant eye which rolls towards your feet. You decide to take it with you as a gross trophy. As you pick the eye up, the intercom clicks back on 'Yep, that should do it. Thanks for the solid, now let's get back to hunting these MacGuffins.'
Another red portal appears beneath your feet, and you land in a crumpled heap on the concrete floor on Spiky Haired Guy's garage. Great.
'Hey so about the MacGuffins - I've actually got no leads right now. Nothin'. The whole Eldritch Typo God thing was supposed to buy me time to find something but it wasn't enough. So if you have any ideas, now is the time.'
You rack your head thinking of anything then it comes to you! The pog creature from the Interdimensional Party mentioned seeing other MacGuffins, including one in their homeland!
'The Fad-Lands, huh? It's a stupid place - it's permanently stuck in the year 1998 or something. Boooooring.'
The Spiky Haired Guy fiddles with your device for a moment then sends you on your way.
*ZWOOP*
You land with a crunch onto something hard! Oof! As you get to your feet, you look to see a sad little slinky, crushed by your muscular, toned booty! How awful. You're gonna have to put the poor thing out of its misery. 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Typo Zonw! Yes, that typo was intended.)
The beast's mouth opens wider and wider, bending backwards - and begins devouring itself! It's as if pac-man lost a life, but happening for real. All that's left is a giant eye which rolls towards your feet. You decide to take it with you as a gross trophy. As you pick the eye up, the intercom clicks back on 'Yep, that should do it. Thanks for the solid, now let's get back to hunting these MacGuffins.'
Another red portal appears beneath your feet, and you land in a crumpled heap on the concrete floor on Spiky Haired Guy's garage. Great.
'Hey so about the MacGuffins - I've actually got no leads right now. Nothin'. The whole Eldritch Typo God thing was supposed to buy me time to find something but it wasn't enough. So if you have any ideas, now is the time.'
You rack your head thinking of anything then it comes to you! The pog creature from the Interdimensional Party mentioned seeing other MacGuffins, including one in their homeland!
'The Fad-Lands, huh? It's a stupid place - it's permanently stuck in the year 1998 or something. Boooooring.'
The Spiky Haired Guy fiddles with your device for a moment then sends you on your way.
*ZWOOP*
You land with a crunch onto something hard! Oof! As you get to your feet, you look to see a sad little slinky, crushed by your muscular, toned booty! How awful. You're gonna have to put the poor thing out of its misery. 	(You unlocked a new zone: The Typo Zonw! Yes, that typo was intended.)
The beast's mouth opens wider and wider, bending backwards - and begins devouring itself! It's as if pac-man lost a life, but happening for real. All that's left is a giant eye which rolls towards your feet. You decide to take it with you as a gross trophy. As you pick the eye up, the intercom clicks back on 'Yep, that should do it. Thanks for the solid, now let's get back to hunting these MacGuffins.'
Another red portal appears beneath your feet, and you land in a crumpled heap on the concrete floor on Spiky Haired Guy's garage. Great.
'Hey so about the MacGuffins - I've actually got no leads right now. Nothin'. The whole Eldritch Typo God thing was supposed to buy me time to find something but it wasn't enough. So if you have any ideas, now is the time.'
You rack your head thinking of anything then it comes to you! The pog creature from the Interdimensional Party mentioned seeing other MacGuffins, including one in their homeland!
'The Fad-Lands, huh? It's a stupid place - it's permanently stuck in the year 1998 or something. Boooooring.'
The Spiky Haired Guy fiddles with your device for a moment then sends you on your way.
*ZWOOP*
You land with a crunch onto something hard! Oof! As you get to your feet, you look to see a sad little slinky, crushed by your muscular, toned booty! How awful. You're gonna have to put the poor thing out of its misery.
 	 	Giant Metal Spinning Top 	16 	Beyblade
 	You head down the path, constructed from children's blocks. This place seems full of toys and games from a lost decade. Mostly dumb crap, honestly. You wouldn't be caught dead playing with them nowadays.
You hear a faint 'whhrrrr' from behind, and turn around just in time to dive out of the way! A giant metal top whooshes past, with deathly-sharpened blades around the edge. It slows down and doubles back for another charge at you! 	You head down the path, constructed from children's blocks. This place seems full of toys and games from a lost decade. Mostly dumb crap, honestly. You wouldn't be caught dead playing with them nowadays.
You hear a faint 'whhrrrr' from behind, and turn around just in time to dive out of the way! A giant metal top whooshes past, with deathly-sharpened blades around the edge. It slows down and doubles back for another charge at you! 	You head down the path, constructed from children's blocks. This place seems full of toys and games from a lost decade. Mostly dumb crap, honestly. You wouldn't be caught dead playing with them nowadays.
You hear a faint 'whhrrrr' from behind, and turn around just in time to dive out of the way! A giant metal top whooshes past, with deathly-sharpened blades around the edge. It slows down and doubles back for another charge at you! 	You head down the path, constructed from children's blocks. This place seems full of toys and games from a lost decade. Mostly dumb crap, honestly. You wouldn't be caught dead playing with them nowadays.
You hear a faint 'whhrrrr' from behind, and turn around just in time to dive out of the way! A giant metal top whooshes past, with deathly-sharpened blades around the edge. It slows down and doubles back for another charge at you!
 	 	A Stack Of Krazy Bonez 	16 	Gogo's Crazy Bones
 	You grab your mole hammer from back in the Caves and wait for the right moment and SMACK the top down the path! It dips down below a hill out of sight, but there's not mistaking the thundering crash you hear.
It takes a bit of hustle to reach the impact site, where the now motionless top lies- and a stack of weirdly shaped plastic chunks, dazed and confused. They gurgle and groan as they come to, and one opens its drooling mouth and mumbles "...mmm, grayons...".
Upon spotting you, they let out a deafening screech and attack! 	You grab your mole hammer from back in the Caves and wait for the right moment and SMACK the top down the path! It dips down below a hill out of sight, but there's not mistaking the thundering crash you hear.
It takes a bit of hustle to reach the impact site, where the now motionless top lies- and a stack of weirdly shaped plastic chunks, dazed and confused. They gurgle and groan as they come to, and one opens its drooling mouth and mumbles "...mmm, grayons...".
Upon spotting you, they let out a deafening screech and attack! 	You grab your mole hammer from back in the Caves and wait for the right moment and SMACK the top down the path! It dips down below a hill out of sight, but there's not mistaking the thundering crash you hear.
It takes a bit of hustle to reach the impact site, where the now motionless top lies- and a stack of weirdly shaped plastic chunks, dazed and confused. They gurgle and groan as they come to, and one opens its drooling mouth and mumbles "...mmm, grayons...".
Upon spotting you, they let out a deafening screech and attack! 	You grab your mole hammer from back in the Caves and wait for the right moment and SMACK the top down the path! It dips down below a hill out of sight, but there's not mistaking the thundering crash you hear.
It takes a bit of hustle to reach the impact site, where the now motionless top lies- and a stack of weirdly shaped plastic chunks, dazed and confused. They gurgle and groan as they come to, and one opens its drooling mouth and mumbles "...mmm, grayons...".
Upon spotting you, they let out a deafening screech and attack!
 	 	Rare Foil Pokeyman Card 	16 	Pokémon TGC
 	You stomp on the final little figurine, which gives out a little 'Squee' before it's crushed. You feel MIGHTY. As you continue on you spot a toy village way off in the distance.
In the center, a floating glass sphere glows from something inside? It's probably important and the plot really says you should head that way. So instead of head off a fork in the path like an asshole, and spot a card lying on the ground! OOH, it's a rare foil Pokeyman card! You ogle the card for a bit, turning the foil in the sunlight and drooling over it. But the card slips in your fingers and you get a papercut! You can't stand for this - the card must die. 	You stomp on the final little figurine, which gives out a little 'Squee' before it's crushed. You feel MIGHTY. As you continue on you spot a toy village way off in the distance.
In the center, a floating glass sphere glows from something inside? It's probably important and the plot really says you should head that way. So instead of head off a fork in the path like an asshole, and spot a card lying on the ground! OOH, it's a rare foil Pokeyman card! You ogle the card for a bit, turning the foil in the sunlight and drooling over it. But the card slips in your fingers and you get a papercut! You can't stand for this - the card must die. 	You stomp on the final little figurine, which gives out a little 'Squee' before it's crushed. You feel MIGHTY. As you continue on you spot a toy village way off in the distance.
In the center, a floating glass sphere glows from something inside? It's probably important and the plot really says you should head that way. So instead of head off a fork in the path like an asshole, and spot a card lying on the ground! OOH, it's a rare foil Pokeyman card! You ogle the card for a bit, turning the foil in the sunlight and drooling over it. But the card slips in your fingers and you get a papercut! You can't stand for this - the card must die. 	You stomp on the final little figurine, which gives out a little 'Squee' before it's crushed. You feel MIGHTY. As you continue on you spot a toy village way off in the distance.
In the center, a floating glass sphere glows from something inside? It's probably important and the plot really says you should head that way. So instead of head off a fork in the path like an asshole, and spot a card lying on the ground! OOH, it's a rare foil Pokeyman card! You ogle the card for a bit, turning the foil in the sunlight and drooling over it. But the card slips in your fingers and you get a papercut! You can't stand for this - the card must die.
 	 	A Busted Gameboy 	16 	Nintendo
 	You've tried everything to destroy this foul card, but it just lies there, being inanimate and stuff. You've tried smashing it, shooting it, cutting it, snorting it, trading it, insulting it, burning it, folding it in half 8 times, nailing it to a wall, eating it, scribbling on it, running it over with a train, rolling it into a join, feeding it to a cat, launching it into the sun, shoving it into your armpit, disintegrating it, even tapping it for mana - but it's virtually untouched!! There's only one thing left to do. You whip out your radio and call in a nuclear air strike, despite not having a radio at any point during the story. Just shut up and accept it.
A moment later you look up and see the nuke hurtling towards you at mach 17 or so.. You whip out your protective goggles in time to be unaffected by the 50 megaton blast; apparently they CAN do something! The card, however, finally met its match or so you thought. It crawled inside a bulky gameboy and used it like a protective fridge just as the nuke hit! Clever bastard. You have to take them both out! 	You've tried everything to destroy this foul card, but it just lies there, being inanimate and stuff. You've tried smashing it, shooting it, cutting it, snorting it, trading it, insulting it, burning it, folding it in half 8 times, nailing it to a wall, eating it, scribbling on it, running it over with a train, rolling it into a join, feeding it to a cat, launching it into the sun, shoving it into your armpit, disintegrating it, even tapping it for mana - but it's virtually untouched!! There's only one thing left to do. You whip out your radio and call in a nuclear air strike, despite not having a radio at any point during the story. Just shut up and accept it.
A moment later you look up and see the nuke hurtling towards you at mach 17 or so.. You whip out your protective goggles in time to be unaffected by the 50 megaton blast; apparently they CAN do something! The card, however, finally met its match or so you thought. It crawled inside a bulky gameboy and used it like a protective fridge just as the nuke hit! Clever bastard. You have to take them both out! 	You've tried everything to destroy this foul card, but it just lies there, being inanimate and stuff. You've tried smashing it, shooting it, cutting it, snorting it, trading it, insulting it, burning it, folding it in half 8 times, nailing it to a wall, eating it, scribbling on it, running it over with a train, rolling it into a join, feeding it to a cat, launching it into the sun, shoving it into your armpit, disintegrating it, even tapping it for mana - but it's virtually untouched!! There's only one thing left to do. You whip out your radio and call in a nuclear air strike, despite not having a radio at any point during the story. Just shut up and accept it.
A moment later you look up and see the nuke hurtling towards you at mach 17 or so.. You whip out your protective goggles in time to be unaffected by the 50 megaton blast; apparently they CAN do something! The card, however, finally met its match or so you thought. It crawled inside a bulky gameboy and used it like a protective fridge just as the nuke hit! Clever bastard. You have to take them both out! 	You've tried everything to destroy this foul card, but it just lies there, being inanimate and stuff. You've tried smashing it, shooting it, cutting it, snorting it, trading it, insulting it, burning it, folding it in half 8 times, nailing it to a wall, eating it, scribbling on it, running it over with a train, rolling it into a join, feeding it to a cat, launching it into the sun, shoving it into your armpit, disintegrating it, even tapping it for mana - but it's virtually untouched!! There's only one thing left to do. You whip out your radio and call in a nuclear air strike, despite not having a radio at any point during the story. Just shut up and accept it.
A moment later you look up and see the nuke hurtling towards you at mach 17 or so.. You whip out your protective goggles in time to be unaffected by the 50 megaton blast; apparently they CAN do something! The card, however, finally met its match or so you thought. It crawled inside a bulky gameboy and used it like a protective fridge just as the nuke hit! Clever bastard. You have to take them both out!
 	 	A Worthless Bean-y Baby 	16 	Beanie Babies
 	Turns out the weakness to both of them was just fighting them as bosses! Their mangled bits lay on the ground as you head on to the toy village. At the gate leading in stands, or rather sits, a lone guard - a lumpy beanie baby. Part of the ear and the tag seems to be missing - that's gonna put a dent in its value! Just kidding, it had none in the first place. 	Turns out the weakness to both of them was just fighting them as bosses! Their mangled bits lay on the ground as you head on to the toy village. At the gate leading in stands, or rather sits, a lone guard - a lumpy beanie baby. Part of the ear and the tag seems to be missing - that's gonna put a dent in its value! Just kidding, it had none in the first place. 	Turns out the weakness to both of them was just fighting them as bosses! Their mangled bits lay on the ground as you head on to the toy village. At the gate leading in stands, or rather sits, a lone guard - a lumpy beanie baby. Part of the ear and the tag seems to be missing - that's gonna put a dent in its value! Just kidding, it had none in the first place. 	Turns out the weakness to both of them was just fighting them as bosses! Their mangled bits lay on the ground as you head on to the toy village. At the gate leading in stands, or rather sits, a lone guard - a lumpy beanie baby. Part of the ear and the tag seems to be missing - that's gonna put a dent in its value! Just kidding, it had none in the first place.
 	 	The Slammer 	16 	Pogs
 	You brush the lint from your clothes and check out the source of the glow in the center of town. You couldn't see it befor, but the glow has a definite tinge of red, totally not ominous or anything. You debate breaking the glass and fetching what's inside but before you decide something else decides for you. A giant black puck SLAMS into the center of town, crushing you, the glass dome, and every building! Through the mayhem and destruction, you see just one thing- a giant furry face stamped onto side of the monolith- with a label 'MALF'.
Wtf? 	You brush the lint from your clothes and check out the source of the glow in the center of town. You couldn't see it befor, but the glow has a definite tinge of red, totally not ominous or anything. You debate breaking the glass and fetching what's inside but before you decide something else decides for you. A giant black puck SLAMS into the center of town, crushing you, the glass dome, and every building! Through the mayhem and destruction, you see just one thing- a giant furry face stamped onto side of the monolith- with a label 'MALF'.
Wtf? 	You brush the lint from your clothes and check out the source of the glow in the center of town. You couldn't see it befor, but the glow has a definite tinge of red, totally not ominous or anything. You debate breaking the glass and fetching what's inside but before you decide something else decides for you. A giant black puck SLAMS into the center of town, crushing you, the glass dome, and every building! Through the mayhem and destruction, you see just one thing- a giant furry face stamped onto side of the monolith- with a label 'MALF'.
Wtf? 	You brush the lint from your clothes and check out the source of the glow in the center of town. You couldn't see it befor, but the glow has a definite tinge of red, totally not ominous or anything. You debate breaking the glass and fetching what's inside but before you decide something else decides for you. A giant black puck SLAMS into the center of town, crushing you, the glass dome, and every building! Through the mayhem and destruction, you see just one thing- a giant furry face stamped onto side of the monolith- with a label 'MALF'.
Wtf?
 	 	Demonic Flurbie 	16 	Furby
 	You manage to out-slam the slammer, and it goes flying off into the distance with a thunderous crash, causing a 3-foot wide crack to open up in the ground from the sheer violence. You let out a sigh of relief, and go back to searching for the source of the red glow. Deep in the cracks, you spot the source of the red glow in that glass sphere- and sincerely wish you hadn't. Up floats a furry... THING. Whooping with menacing laughter, the eyes spin around in the back of its head, over and over. You hear the sounds of gears and machinery within turning, swinging a metal claw in one hand, and a butcher's knife in the order. They're both oozing blood. it's plastic mouth opens to reveal a row of jagged sharp teeth! Deep inside you hear a deep electronic voice call out:
'HUNGRY!! AHHH, AHHH, AHHH!' 	You manage to out-slam the slammer, and it goes flying off into the distance with a thunderous crash, causing a 3-foot wide crack to open up in the ground from the sheer violence. You let out a sigh of relief, and go back to searching for the source of the red glow. Deep in the cracks, you spot the source of the red glow in that glass sphere- and sincerely wish you hadn't. Up floats a furry... THING. Whooping with menacing laughter, the eyes spin around in the back of its head, over and over. You hear the sounds of gears and machinery within turning, swinging a metal claw in one hand, and a butcher's knife in the order. They're both oozing blood. it's plastic mouth opens to reveal a row of jagged sharp teeth! Deep inside you hear a deep electronic voice call out:
'HUNGRY!! AHHH, AHHH, AHHH!' 	You manage to out-slam the slammer, and it goes flying off into the distance with a thunderous crash, causing a 3-foot wide crack to open up in the ground from the sheer violence. You let out a sigh of relief, and go back to searching for the source of the red glow. Deep in the cracks, you spot the source of the red glow in that glass sphere- and sincerely wish you hadn't. Up floats a furry... THING. Whooping with menacing laughter, the eyes spin around in the back of its head, over and over. You hear the sounds of gears and machinery within turning, swinging a metal claw in one hand, and a butcher's knife in the order. They're both oozing blood. it's plastic mouth opens to reveal a row of jagged sharp teeth! Deep inside you hear a deep electronic voice call out:
'HUNGRY!! AHHH, AHHH, AHHH!' 	You manage to out-slam the slammer, and it goes flying off into the distance with a thunderous crash, causing a 3-foot wide crack to open up in the ground from the sheer violence. You let out a sigh of relief, and go back to searching for the source of the red glow. Deep in the cracks, you spot the source of the red glow in that glass sphere- and sincerely wish you hadn't. Up floats a furry... THING. Whooping with menacing laughter, the eyes spin around in the back of its head, over and over. You hear the sounds of gears and machinery within turning, swinging a metal claw in one hand, and a butcher's knife in the order. They're both oozing blood. it's plastic mouth opens to reveal a row of jagged sharp teeth! Deep inside you hear a deep electronic voice call out:
'HUNGRY!! AHHH, AHHH, AHHH!'
 	 	Sentient Pile Of Belts 	16 	
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Fad-Lands!)
The creature sustains an unnatural amount of damage before it slows down, and even still, it never seems to quite stop moving, no matter how much you pulverize it. Its little robotic arms keep twitching and the mouth opens and closes. You'll never get these images out of your head! Smashing it to a pulp has accomplished something though - the red glow turns out to be a MacGuffin! Yanking out the MacGuffin from within its housing seems to stop the demonic toy - finally. You set your portal device to GTFO and -
*ZWOOP*
- toss the MacGuffin onto the rest of the pile at Spiky Haired Guy's garage. There's quite a collection now! Also an alarming number of empty beer cans and used needles
You see no sign of Spiky Haired Guy, but you do spot a note on the door.
Hey Nerd,
If you get back before I do, I'm experimenting with stuff in the quantum realm. That means I'm tiny as hell. Don't touch my stuff. The portal device on the counter is set to your next egg McGuffin or whatever the crap it is you're doing.
You owe me. DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF.
You shrug and follow his instructions. It's just easier that way.
*ZWOOP*
You flop down onto a huge pile of leathery belts, which was NOT in your first 3 guesses of what you'd land on. It's really a struggle to untangle yourself from them! You can't make out much, but it seems like you're in some sort of lame generic dungeon or basement.
You're still struggling to escape these damn belts! The more you struggle the tighter they seem to constrict. You come to the shocking realization that, in fact, that's exactly what's happening! You're kind of into bondage, but not this much! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Fad-Lands!)
The creature sustains an unnatural amount of damage before it slows down, and even still, it never seems to quite stop moving, no matter how much you pulverize it. Its little robotic arms keep twitching and the mouth opens and closes. You'll never get these images out of your head! Smashing it to a pulp has accomplished something though - the red glow turns out to be a MacGuffin! Yanking out the MacGuffin from within its housing seems to stop the demonic toy - finally. You set your portal device to GTFO and -
*ZWOOP*
- toss the MacGuffin onto the rest of the pile at Spiky Haired Guy's garage. There's quite a collection now! Also an alarming number of empty beer cans and used needles
You see no sign of Spiky Haired Guy, but you do spot a note on the door.
Hey Nerd,
If you get back before I do, I'm experimenting with stuff in the quantum realm. That means I'm tiny as hell. Don't touch my stuff. The portal device on the counter is set to your next egg McGuffin or whatever the crap it is you're doing.
You owe me. DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF.
You shrug and follow his instructions. It's just easier that way.
*ZWOOP*
You flop down onto a huge pile of leathery belts, which was NOT in your first 3 guesses of what you'd land on. It's really a struggle to untangle yourself from them! You can't make out much, but it seems like you're in some sort of lame generic dungeon or basement.
You're still struggling to escape these damn belts! The more you struggle the tighter they seem to constrict. You come to the shocking realization that, in fact, that's exactly what's happening! You're kind of into bondage, but not this much! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Fad-Lands!)
The creature sustains an unnatural amount of damage before it slows down, and even still, it never seems to quite stop moving, no matter how much you pulverize it. Its little robotic arms keep twitching and the mouth opens and closes. You'll never get these images out of your head! Smashing it to a pulp has accomplished something though - the red glow turns out to be a MacGuffin! Yanking out the MacGuffin from within its housing seems to stop the demonic toy - finally. You set your portal device to GTFO and -
*ZWOOP*
- toss the MacGuffin onto the rest of the pile at Spiky Haired Guy's garage. There's quite a collection now! Also an alarming number of empty beer cans and used needles
You see no sign of Spiky Haired Guy, but you do spot a note on the door.
Hey Nerd,
If you get back before I do, I'm experimenting with stuff in the quantum realm. That means I'm tiny as hell. Don't touch my stuff. The portal device on the counter is set to your next egg McGuffin or whatever the crap it is you're doing.
You owe me. DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF.
You shrug and follow his instructions. It's just easier that way.
*ZWOOP*
You flop down onto a huge pile of leathery belts, which was NOT in your first 3 guesses of what you'd land on. It's really a struggle to untangle yourself from them! You can't make out much, but it seems like you're in some sort of lame generic dungeon or basement.
You're still struggling to escape these damn belts! The more you struggle the tighter they seem to constrict. You come to the shocking realization that, in fact, that's exactly what's happening! You're kind of into bondage, but not this much! 	(You've unlocked a new zone: The Fad-Lands!)
The creature sustains an unnatural amount of damage before it slows down, and even still, it never seems to quite stop moving, no matter how much you pulverize it. Its little robotic arms keep twitching and the mouth opens and closes. You'll never get these images out of your head! Smashing it to a pulp has accomplished something though - the red glow turns out to be a MacGuffin! Yanking out the MacGuffin from within its housing seems to stop the demonic toy - finally. You set your portal device to GTFO and -
*ZWOOP*
- toss the MacGuffin onto the rest of the pile at Spiky Haired Guy's garage. There's quite a collection now! Also an alarming number of empty beer cans and used needles
You see no sign of Spiky Haired Guy, but you do spot a note on the door.
Hey Nerd,
If you get back before I do, I'm experimenting with stuff in the quantum realm. That means I'm tiny as hell. Don't touch my stuff. The portal device on the counter is set to your next egg McGuffin or whatever the crap it is you're doing.
You owe me. DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF.
You shrug and follow his instructions. It's just easier that way.
*ZWOOP*
You flop down onto a huge pile of leathery belts, which was NOT in your first 3 guesses of what you'd land on. It's really a struggle to untangle yourself from them! You can't make out much, but it seems like you're in some sort of lame generic dungeon or basement.
You're still struggling to escape these damn belts! The more you struggle the tighter they seem to constrict. You come to the shocking realization that, in fact, that's exactly what's happening! You're kind of into bondage, but not this much!
 	 	Mimic 'Mimic Chest' Chest 	17 	
 	With enough hacking and slashing, you finally escape the web of belts! Now that you're on your feet, you can confirm that this is indeed a dusty old basement of some kind. There's a hatch leading up which you take without hesitation.
Now that you're in the main part of this building, it sure is a fancy lookin' place! Lots of ornate decorations everywhere you look, though it's oddly deserted. This feels more like a castle now. Wandering through a few hallways, you spot a mimic chest sitting out in the open. They're like an actual chest full of loot, but instead they bite your hand off - you've always wanted one as a pet!
You approach the mimic chest, but before you're able to reach down to pet it, something inside leaps out and bites your throat! It was just a mimic chest mimicking a mimic chest! Talk about top 10 anime betrayals 	With enough hacking and slashing, you finally escape the web of belts! Now that you're on your feet, you can confirm that this is indeed a dusty old basement of some kind. There's a hatch leading up which you take without hesitation.
Now that you're in the main part of this building, it sure is a fancy lookin' place! Lots of ornate decorations everywhere you look, though it's oddly deserted. This feels more like a castle now. Wandering through a few hallways, you spot a mimic chest sitting out in the open. They're like an actual chest full of loot, but instead they bite your hand off - you've always wanted one as a pet!
You approach the mimic chest, but before you're able to reach down to pet it, something inside leaps out and bites your throat! It was just a mimic chest mimicking a mimic chest! Talk about top 10 anime betrayals 	With enough hacking and slashing, you finally escape the web of belts! Now that you're on your feet, you can confirm that this is indeed a dusty old basement of some kind. There's a hatch leading up which you take without hesitation.
Now that you're in the main part of this building, it sure is a fancy lookin' place! Lots of ornate decorations everywhere you look, though it's oddly deserted. This feels more like a castle now. Wandering through a few hallways, you spot a mimic chest sitting out in the open. They're like an actual chest full of loot, but instead they bite your hand off - you've always wanted one as a pet!
You approach the mimic chest, but before you're able to reach down to pet it, something inside leaps out and bites your throat! It was just a mimic chest mimicking a mimic chest! Talk about top 10 anime betrayals 	With enough hacking and slashing, you finally escape the web of belts! Now that you're on your feet, you can confirm that this is indeed a dusty old basement of some kind. There's a hatch leading up which you take without hesitation.
Now that you're in the main part of this building, it sure is a fancy lookin' place! Lots of ornate decorations everywhere you look, though it's oddly deserted. This feels more like a castle now. Wandering through a few hallways, you spot a mimic chest sitting out in the open. They're like an actual chest full of loot, but instead they bite your hand off - you've always wanted one as a pet!
You approach the mimic chest, but before you're able to reach down to pet it, something inside leaps out and bites your throat! It was just a mimic chest mimicking a mimic chest! Talk about top 10 anime betrayals
 	 	A Suplexing Train 	17 	Final Fantasy VI
 	You rip the damn mimic off you and fill it with a few dozen rounds from your tommy gun. What a little bastard! You decide that this ends your adventure in this weird castle, and head straight for the nearest exit. A bit of directionless wandering later, you spot a set of fire exit doors. Why would a castle have fire exits? Strong building codes I guess. The doors lead out to the castle gardens
As you head down the stone path your foot lands on a weird rock that sinks down an inch with an ominous 'click' noise. Uh oh! Turning back, you spot a secret hatch in the ground open up, and a giant steam locomotive appears! It seems to be locked in a neverending suplex with some poor sap, and it begins rolling towards you! 	You rip the damn mimic off you and fill it with a few dozen rounds from your tommy gun. What a little bastard! You decide that this ends your adventure in this weird castle, and head straight for the nearest exit. A bit of directionless wandering later, you spot a set of fire exit doors. Why would a castle have fire exits? Strong building codes I guess. The doors lead out to the castle gardens
As you head down the stone path your foot lands on a weird rock that sinks down an inch with an ominous 'click' noise. Uh oh! Turning back, you spot a secret hatch in the ground open up, and a giant steam locomotive appears! It seems to be locked in a neverending suplex with some poor sap, and it begins rolling towards you! 	You rip the damn mimic off you and fill it with a few dozen rounds from your tommy gun. What a little bastard! You decide that this ends your adventure in this weird castle, and head straight for the nearest exit. A bit of directionless wandering later, you spot a set of fire exit doors. Why would a castle have fire exits? Strong building codes I guess. The doors lead out to the castle gardens
As you head down the stone path your foot lands on a weird rock that sinks down an inch with an ominous 'click' noise. Uh oh! Turning back, you spot a secret hatch in the ground open up, and a giant steam locomotive appears! It seems to be locked in a neverending suplex with some poor sap, and it begins rolling towards you! 	You rip the damn mimic off you and fill it with a few dozen rounds from your tommy gun. What a little bastard! You decide that this ends your adventure in this weird castle, and head straight for the nearest exit. A bit of directionless wandering later, you spot a set of fire exit doors. Why would a castle have fire exits? Strong building codes I guess. The doors lead out to the castle gardens
As you head down the stone path your foot lands on a weird rock that sinks down an inch with an ominous 'click' noise. Uh oh! Turning back, you spot a secret hatch in the ground open up, and a giant steam locomotive appears! It seems to be locked in a neverending suplex with some poor sap, and it begins rolling towards you!
 	 	The Annoying Fan 	17 	Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion
 	You brace yourself, anticipating the suplexing train's movements towards you... and at the right moment, you latch onto the train and begin suplexing it back! The power exerted by the innfinite loop of suplexes accelerate your spinning to insane speeds before you suddenly let go of the train, blasting it into the sky at mach 5!
You congratulate yourself on that clever bit of physics you pulled off, when you spot a weird little elf kid in front of you. His jaw has dropped in total awe at what he witnessed. Then he cheers and runs up to you!
'Golly, you're the best! I'm going to follow you and watch you and worship the ground you walk on!'
Oh god, what an annoying little jerk. You just have to kick his ass. 	You brace yourself, anticipating the suplexing train's movements towards you... and at the right moment, you latch onto the train and begin suplexing it back! The power exerted by the innfinite loop of suplexes accelerate your spinning to insane speeds before you suddenly let go of the train, blasting it into the sky at mach 5!
You congratulate yourself on that clever bit of physics you pulled off, when you spot a weird little elf kid in front of you. His jaw has dropped in total awe at what he witnessed. Then he cheers and runs up to you!
'Golly, you're the best! I'm going to follow you and watch you and worship the ground you walk on!'
Oh god, what an annoying little jerk. You just have to kick his ass. 	You brace yourself, anticipating the suplexing train's movements towards you... and at the right moment, you latch onto the train and begin suplexing it back! The power exerted by the innfinite loop of suplexes accelerate your spinning to insane speeds before you suddenly let go of the train, blasting it into the sky at mach 5!
You congratulate yourself on that clever bit of physics you pulled off, when you spot a weird little elf kid in front of you. His jaw has dropped in total awe at what he witnessed. Then he cheers and runs up to you!
'Golly, you're the best! I'm going to follow you and watch you and worship the ground you walk on!'
Oh god, what an annoying little jerk. You just have to kick his ass. 	You brace yourself, anticipating the suplexing train's movements towards you... and at the right moment, you latch onto the train and begin suplexing it back! The power exerted by the innfinite loop of suplexes accelerate your spinning to insane speeds before you suddenly let go of the train, blasting it into the sky at mach 5!
You congratulate yourself on that clever bit of physics you pulled off, when you spot a weird little elf kid in front of you. His jaw has dropped in total awe at what he witnessed. Then he cheers and runs up to you!
'Golly, you're the best! I'm going to follow you and watch you and worship the ground you walk on!'
Oh god, what an annoying little jerk. You just have to kick his ass.
 	 	The Infinity +1 Sword 	17 	
 	Despite your solid face-punching, the Adoring Fan just doesn't take no for an answer! For now you ignore them and move on with finding the MacGuffin - but you'll have to find a more creative way to eliminate them. As you move on, you spot an enormous metal sword sculpture in the gardens, which gives you a genius idea. You tell the adoring fan to wait right in the path of the sword.
'Wait here? Right here? What about, say... over there? No? Right here? All right then, whatever you say!'
You scurry around to the other side of the giant sword, and give it a gentle nudge. What happens next, needless to say, doesn't end well for the Adoring Fan. You're about to dust off your hands with a murder well done when the sword rises, and grows - higher and higher, til you lose sight of it! It seems unhappy with what you've done. 	Despite your solid face-punching, the Adoring Fan just doesn't take no for an answer! For now you ignore them and move on with finding the MacGuffin - but you'll have to find a more creative way to eliminate them. As you move on, you spot an enormous metal sword sculpture in the gardens, which gives you a genius idea. You tell the adoring fan to wait right in the path of the sword.
'Wait here? Right here? What about, say... over there? No? Right here? All right then, whatever you say!'
You scurry around to the other side of the giant sword, and give it a gentle nudge. What happens next, needless to say, doesn't end well for the Adoring Fan. You're about to dust off your hands with a murder well done when the sword rises, and grows - higher and higher, til you lose sight of it! It seems unhappy with what you've done. 	Despite your solid face-punching, the Adoring Fan just doesn't take no for an answer! For now you ignore them and move on with finding the MacGuffin - but you'll have to find a more creative way to eliminate them. As you move on, you spot an enormous metal sword sculpture in the gardens, which gives you a genius idea. You tell the adoring fan to wait right in the path of the sword.
'Wait here? Right here? What about, say... over there? No? Right here? All right then, whatever you say!'
You scurry around to the other side of the giant sword, and give it a gentle nudge. What happens next, needless to say, doesn't end well for the Adoring Fan. You're about to dust off your hands with a murder well done when the sword rises, and grows - higher and higher, til you lose sight of it! It seems unhappy with what you've done. 	Despite your solid face-punching, the Adoring Fan just doesn't take no for an answer! For now you ignore them and move on with finding the MacGuffin - but you'll have to find a more creative way to eliminate them. As you move on, you spot an enormous metal sword sculpture in the gardens, which gives you a genius idea. You tell the adoring fan to wait right in the path of the sword.
'Wait here? Right here? What about, say... over there? No? Right here? All right then, whatever you say!'
You scurry around to the other side of the giant sword, and give it a gentle nudge. What happens next, needless to say, doesn't end well for the Adoring Fan. You're about to dust off your hands with a murder well done when the sword rises, and grows - higher and higher, til you lose sight of it! It seems unhappy with what you've done.
 	 	The Damage Cap 	17 	
 	Using your years of experience with JRPG's, you perform an obscure set of moves to infinitely power up your attack and one-shot the sword! Shiny gold text pops up - you did 9999 damage, wow!
The sword cracks and splinters into pieces, but your damage text doesn't seem to be going away. It keeps growing 99999... 9999999 ... 9999999999999999 ... it's a glitch! You've got to stop it! 	Using your years of experience with JRPG's, you perform an obscure set of moves to infinitely power up your attack and one-shot the sword! Shiny gold text pops up - you did 9999 damage, wow!
The sword cracks and splinters into pieces, but your damage text doesn't seem to be going away. It keeps growing 99999... 9999999 ... 9999999999999999 ... it's a glitch! You've got to stop it! 	Using your years of experience with JRPG's, you perform an obscure set of moves to infinitely power up your attack and one-shot the sword! Shiny gold text pops up - you did 9999 damage, wow!
The sword cracks and splinters into pieces, but your damage text doesn't seem to be going away. It keeps growing 99999... 9999999 ... 9999999999999999 ... it's a glitch! You've got to stop it! 	Using your years of experience with JRPG's, you perform an obscure set of moves to infinitely power up your attack and one-shot the sword! Shiny gold text pops up - you did 9999 damage, wow!
The sword cracks and splinters into pieces, but your damage text doesn't seem to be going away. It keeps growing 99999... 9999999 ... 9999999999999999 ... it's a glitch! You've got to stop it!
 	 	Final Boss 	17 	Dark Souls
 	You manage to stop the glitchy damage cap, but you still aren't sure where you need to be going. You step past all the broken 9's and circle around the castle until you reach the front entrance. Instead of a set of doors, you just see a shimmering mist. It's creepy, so it's probably the right way to go! You step through the mist and enter a giant courtyard. At the far end, you see the MacGuffin glowing a dim orange.
However, between you and the MacGuffin are two giant sentinels standing guard, donning some intimidating metal armor. They look like they were expecting you. One lifts up their massive hammer while the other readies a jagged spear sparking electricity, and they advance! 	You manage to stop the glitchy damage cap, but you still aren't sure where you need to be going. You step past all the broken 9's and circle around the castle until you reach the front entrance. Instead of a set of doors, you just see a shimmering mist. It's creepy, so it's probably the right way to go! You step through the mist and enter a giant courtyard. At the far end, you see the MacGuffin glowing a dim orange.
However, between you and the MacGuffin are two giant sentinels standing guard, donning some intimidating metal armor. They look like they were expecting you. One lifts up their massive hammer while the other readies a jagged spear sparking electricity, and they advance! 	You manage to stop the glitchy damage cap, but you still aren't sure where you need to be going. You step past all the broken 9's and circle around the castle until you reach the front entrance. Instead of a set of doors, you just see a shimmering mist. It's creepy, so it's probably the right way to go! You step through the mist and enter a giant courtyard. At the far end, you see the MacGuffin glowing a dim orange.
However, between you and the MacGuffin are two giant sentinels standing guard, donning some intimidating metal armor. They look like they were expecting you. One lifts up their massive hammer while the other readies a jagged spear sparking electricity, and they advance! 	You manage to stop the glitchy damage cap, but you still aren't sure where you need to be going. You step past all the broken 9's and circle around the castle until you reach the front entrance. Instead of a set of doors, you just see a shimmering mist. It's creepy, so it's probably the right way to go! You step through the mist and enter a giant courtyard. At the far end, you see the MacGuffin glowing a dim orange.
However, between you and the MacGuffin are two giant sentinels standing guard, donning some intimidating metal armor. They look like they were expecting you. One lifts up their massive hammer while the other readies a jagged spear sparking electricity, and they advance!
 	 	True Final Boss 	17 	Dark Souls
 	You target the spear-wielding sentinel first, and several minutes of spamming roll-dodge later, they fall. All that's left now is their hammer wielding partner!
That face though. Yeeeeeeesh. 	You target the spear-wielding sentinel first, and several minutes of spamming roll-dodge later, they fall. All that's left now is their hammer wielding partner!
That face though. Yeeeeeeesh. 	You target the spear-wielding sentinel first, and several minutes of spamming roll-dodge later, they fall. All that's left now is their hammer wielding partner!
That face though. Yeeeeeeesh. 	You target the spear-wielding sentinel first, and several minutes of spamming roll-dodge later, they fall. All that's left now is their hammer wielding partner!
That face though. Yeeeeeeesh.
 	 	Small Bart 	17 	The Simpsons
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: JRPGVille!)
500,000 dodge rolls later and you've taken down the other fella. Now to snag the MacGuffin they were clearly guarding and get back.
*ZWOOP*
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
The Spiky haired guy's place is absolutely TRASHED. And not because of one of his usual drunken rampages, no, this place has been ransacked and looted! OH GOD THE MACGUFFINS - THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! You see smears of blood and other random fluids and goop strewn across the debris. Following them like some cursed version of Blue's Clues, you find the Spiky Haired Guy, eviscerated and lying in a pool of his own blood. There's a note clutched in his hand... trembling, you extract the man's final words:
"Dear Dumbass,
If you're reading this you were too slow on your mission to come back and hear my death monologue so thanks a lot, asshole. It was my one dream to perform a 5 minute speech to someone at my deathbed but I guess have to write this in my own blood instead.
The traitor came by and asked for all the MacGuffins and because I don't actually care about helping you that much I handed them all over. But then he trashed my place looking for... something, I dunno. Oh and he stabbed me 73 times to be an asshole, so I regret my decision to betray you a hell of a lot. As my dying wish, I want you to stop this douchebag so here is the code to access my secret basement lair. I guess he was looking for it, but I have no idea why. Wish I could be of more help but dying takes a lot of concentration. I did hear him mention grabbing one last macguffin and then breaking the twelve seals of something or other to unleash a God, of become a God, or have sex with a God, you never know with these villains.
Okay I'm dead now, bye.
-S.H.G (Sloopo Hannity Gargamesh)"
You think about shedding a tear for your fallen comrade by he DID say he literally betrayed you so your feelings are rather complicated right now. You begin clearing the debris, eventually spotting a small hatch with a key pad - you enter the code (1111) and head inside. As far as you know it's more of the same gadgets and gizmos like above, and a small terminal. On it you see the location for the last MacGuffin! This is your last chance to stop the Traitor before getting around 12 more chances to stop the traitor - you have to act now! Ish!
*ZWOOP*
It looks like you're an underground city of bunker... in the distance you spot green glowing buildings and other oddities surrounding a central lab. Well, off you go on what feels like the final chapter of Act 2 of a story!
Walking down the deserted roads feels rather spooky, buy you get used to it after a while, until a shrill voice pierces the silence.
"EAT MY SHARTS!!!"
What the hell was that??!! It felt like it was coming from 3 feet ahead, buy you squint and see nothing.
...waitaminute...
There IS something but it's so small! And it's coming right for you, AHH!!!!	(You've unlocked a new zone: JRPGVille!)
500,000 dodge rolls later and you've taken down the other fella. Now to snag the MacGuffin they were clearly guarding and get back.
*ZWOOP*
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
The Spiky haired guy's place is absolutely TRASHED. And not because of one of his usual drunken rampages, no, this place has been ransacked and looted! OH GOD THE MACGUFFINS - THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! You see smears of blood and other random fluids and goop strewn across the debris. Following them like some cursed version of Blue's Clues, you find the Spiky Haired Guy, eviscerated and lying in a pool of his own blood. There's a note clutched in his hand... trembling, you extract the man's final words:
"Dear Dumbass,
If you're reading this you were too slow on your mission to come back and hear my death monologue so thanks a lot, asshole. It was my one dream to perform a 5 minute speech to someone at my deathbed but I guess have to write this in my own blood instead.
The traitor came by and asked for all the MacGuffins and because I don't actually care about helping you that much I handed them all over. But then he trashed my place looking for... something, I dunno. Oh and he stabbed me 73 times to be an asshole, so I regret my decision to betray you a hell of a lot. As my dying wish, I want you to stop this douchebag so here is the code to access my secret basement lair. I guess he was looking for it, but I have no idea why. Wish I could be of more help but dying takes a lot of concentration. I did hear him mention grabbing one last macguffin and then breaking the twelve seals of something or other to unleash a God, of become a God, or have sex with a God, you never know with these villains.
Okay I'm dead now, bye.
-S.H.G (Sloopo Hannity Gargamesh)"
You think about shedding a tear for your fallen comrade by he DID say he literally betrayed you so your feelings are rather complicated right now. You begin clearing the debris, eventually spotting a small hatch with a key pad - you enter the code (1111) and head inside. As far as you know it's more of the same gadgets and gizmos like above, and a small terminal. On it you see the location for the last MacGuffin! This is your last chance to stop the Traitor before getting around 12 more chances to stop the traitor - you have to act now! Ish!
*ZWOOP*
It looks like you're an underground city of bunker... in the distance you spot green glowing buildings and other oddities surrounding a central lab. Well, off you go on what feels like the final chapter of Act 2 of a story!
Walking down the deserted roads feels rather spooky, buy you get used to it after a while, until a shrill voice pierces the silence.
"EAT MY SHARTS!!!"
What the hell was that??!! It felt like it was coming from 3 feet ahead, buy you squint and see nothing.
...waitaminute...
There IS something but it's so small! And it's coming right for you, AHH!!!!	(You've unlocked a new zone: JRPGVille!)
500,000 dodge rolls later and you've taken down the other fella. Now to snag the MacGuffin they were clearly guarding and get back.
*ZWOOP*
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
The Spiky haired guy's place is absolutely TRASHED. And not because of one of his usual drunken rampages, no, this place has been ransacked and looted! OH GOD THE MACGUFFINS - THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! You see smears of blood and other random fluids and goop strewn across the debris. Following them like some cursed version of Blue's Clues, you find the Spiky Haired Guy, eviscerated and lying in a pool of his own blood. There's a note clutched in his hand... trembling, you extract the man's final words:
"Dear Dumbass,
If you're reading this you were too slow on your mission to come back and hear my death monologue so thanks a lot, asshole. It was my one dream to perform a 5 minute speech to someone at my deathbed but I guess have to write this in my own blood instead.
The traitor came by and asked for all the MacGuffins and because I don't actually care about helping you that much I handed them all over. But then he trashed my place looking for... something, I dunno. Oh and he stabbed me 73 times to be an asshole, so I regret my decision to betray you a hell of a lot. As my dying wish, I want you to stop this douchebag so here is the code to access my secret basement lair. I guess he was looking for it, but I have no idea why. Wish I could be of more help but dying takes a lot of concentration. I did hear him mention grabbing one last macguffin and then breaking the twelve seals of something or other to unleash a God, of become a God, or have sex with a God, you never know with these villains.
Okay I'm dead now, bye.
-S.H.G (Sloopo Hannity Gargamesh)"
You think about shedding a tear for your fallen comrade by he DID say he literally betrayed you so your feelings are rather complicated right now. You begin clearing the debris, eventually spotting a small hatch with a key pad - you enter the code (1111) and head inside. As far as you know it's more of the same gadgets and gizmos like above, and a small terminal. On it you see the location for the last MacGuffin! This is your last chance to stop the Traitor before getting around 12 more chances to stop the traitor - you have to act now! Ish!
*ZWOOP*
It looks like you're an underground city of bunker... in the distance you spot green glowing buildings and other oddities surrounding a central lab. Well, off you go on what feels like the final chapter of Act 2 of a story!
Walking down the deserted roads feels rather spooky, buy you get used to it after a while, until a shrill voice pierces the silence.
"EAT MY SHARTS!!!"
What the hell was that??!! It felt like it was coming from 3 feet ahead, buy you squint and see nothing.
...waitaminute...
There IS something but it's so small! And it's coming right for you, AHH!!!!	(You've unlocked a new zone: JRPGVille!)
500,000 dodge rolls later and you've taken down the other fella. Now to snag the MacGuffin they were clearly guarding and get back.
*ZWOOP*
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
The Spiky haired guy's place is absolutely TRASHED. And not because of one of his usual drunken rampages, no, this place has been ransacked and looted! OH GOD THE MACGUFFINS - THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! You see smears of blood and other random fluids and goop strewn across the debris. Following them like some cursed version of Blue's Clues, you find the Spiky Haired Guy, eviscerated and lying in a pool of his own blood. There's a note clutched in his hand... trembling, you extract the man's final words:
"Dear Dumbass,
If you're reading this you were too slow on your mission to come back and hear my death monologue so thanks a lot, asshole. It was my one dream to perform a 5 minute speech to someone at my deathbed but I guess have to write this in my own blood instead.
The traitor came by and asked for all the MacGuffins and because I don't actually care about helping you that much I handed them all over. But then he trashed my place looking for... something, I dunno. Oh and he stabbed me 73 times to be an asshole, so I regret my decision to betray you a hell of a lot. As my dying wish, I want you to stop this douchebag so here is the code to access my secret basement lair. I guess he was looking for it, but I have no idea why. Wish I could be of more help but dying takes a lot of concentration. I did hear him mention grabbing one last macguffin and then breaking the twelve seals of something or other to unleash a God, of become a God, or have sex with a God, you never know with these villains.
Okay I'm dead now, bye.
-S.H.G (Sloopo Hannity Gargamesh)"
You think about shedding a tear for your fallen comrade by he DID say he literally betrayed you so your feelings are rather complicated right now. You begin clearing the debris, eventually spotting a small hatch with a key pad - you enter the code (1111) and head inside. As far as you know it's more of the same gadgets and gizmos like above, and a small terminal. On it you see the location for the last MacGuffin! This is your last chance to stop the Traitor before getting around 12 more chances to stop the traitor - you have to act now! Ish!
*ZWOOP*
It looks like you're an underground city of bunker... in the distance you spot green glowing buildings and other oddities surrounding a central lab. Well, off you go on what feels like the final chapter of Act 2 of a story!
Walking down the deserted roads feels rather spooky, buy you get used to it after a while, until a shrill voice pierces the silence.
"EAT MY SHARTS!!!"
What the hell was that??!! It felt like it was coming from 3 feet ahead, buy you squint and see nothing.
...waitaminute...
There IS something but it's so small! And it's coming right for you, AHH!!!!
 	 	Nuclear Power Pants 	17 	
 	When has stomping randomly *not* solved all you problems? Clear of the danger you continue on, heading to the central lab - if the final MacGuffin had to be somewhere, it'd probably be there. Before long, you come across a poorly segue'd setup to the next boss - it's just a pair of Nuclear Power Pants walking on the road towards you. Have fun! 	When has stomping randomly *not* solved all you problems? Clear of the danger you continue on, heading to the central lab - if the final MacGuffin had to be somewhere, it'd probably be there. Before long, you come across a poorly segue'd setup to the next boss - it's just a pair of Nuclear Power Pants walking on the road towards you. Have fun! 	When has stomping randomly *not* solved all you problems? Clear of the danger you continue on, heading to the central lab - if the final MacGuffin had to be somewhere, it'd probably be there. Before long, you come across a poorly segue'd setup to the next boss - it's just a pair of Nuclear Power Pants walking on the road towards you. Have fun! 	When has stomping randomly *not* solved all you problems? Clear of the danger you continue on, heading to the central lab - if the final MacGuffin had to be somewhere, it'd probably be there. Before long, you come across a poorly segue'd setup to the next boss - it's just a pair of Nuclear Power Pants walking on the road towards you. Have fun!
 	 	A.C SKATER 	17 	Saved By The Bell
 	You kick the sentience out of the pants and take them for your own - they are pretty cool looking after all. You make it to the parking lot of the lab, where you see a lone skater popping manuals and grinds on the curb, and the occasional kickflip.
"Duuuude, those are some rad looking pants- how much for them?"
When you tell him they aren't for sale he gets pissed and tries to tear them off you! 	You kick the sentience out of the pants and take them for your own - they are pretty cool looking after all. You make it to the parking lot of the lab, where you see a lone skater popping manuals and grinds on the curb, and the occasional kickflip.
"Duuuude, those are some rad looking pants- how much for them?"
When you tell him they aren't for sale he gets pissed and tries to tear them off you! 	You kick the sentience out of the pants and take them for your own - they are pretty cool looking after all. You make it to the parking lot of the lab, where you see a lone skater popping manuals and grinds on the curb, and the occasional kickflip.
"Duuuude, those are some rad looking pants- how much for them?"
When you tell him they aren't for sale he gets pissed and tries to tear them off you! 	You kick the sentience out of the pants and take them for your own - they are pretty cool looking after all. You make it to the parking lot of the lab, where you see a lone skater popping manuals and grinds on the curb, and the occasional kickflip.
"Duuuude, those are some rad looking pants- how much for them?"
When you tell him they aren't for sale he gets pissed and tries to tear them off you!
 	 	Lame Security Guard 	18 	Half Life
 	One more ass-kicking and the path ito the lab is clear. You head into the main lobby where a lone security guard sits at a desk, clearly bored out of his mind. "Are you here for the free, unguided, full-clearance tour of our most sensitive and classified research?" You consider it for a moment, but decide to beat him up anyways. 	One more ass-kicking and the path ito the lab is clear. You head into the main lobby where a lone security guard sits at a desk, clearly bored out of his mind. "Are you here for the free, unguided, full-clearance tour of our most sensitive and classified research?" You consider it for a moment, but decide to beat him up anyways. 	One more ass-kicking and the path ito the lab is clear. You head into the main lobby where a lone security guard sits at a desk, clearly bored out of his mind. "Are you here for the free, unguided, full-clearance tour of our most sensitive and classified research?" You consider it for a moment, but decide to beat him up anyways. 	One more ass-kicking and the path ito the lab is clear. You head into the main lobby where a lone security guard sits at a desk, clearly bored out of his mind. "Are you here for the free, unguided, full-clearance tour of our most sensitive and classified research?" You consider it for a moment, but decide to beat him up anyways.
 	 	A Giant Vat of Plutonium-238 	18 	
 	After beating up the poor fella, you snag the security pass hanging around his neck - it was the ONLY WAY to get inside after all.
It seems like this lab deals with all sorts of things radioactive - you see mutants playing in a pool of green goop with 4, 5, even 6 arms! Highfiving all of them must be truly exhausting. In another room you see a giant vat filled to the brim with another noxious substance. A nearby plaque informs you this is Plutonium-238, along with some of its uses. Suddenly an alarm goes off, and you see that the vat containing the plutonium is cracked! The goops is flooding out - heading directly for you! 	After beating up the poor fella, you snag the security pass hanging around his neck - it was the ONLY WAY to get inside after all.
It seems like this lab deals with all sorts of things radioactive - you see mutants playing in a pool of green goop with 4, 5, even 6 arms! Highfiving all of them must be truly exhausting. In another room you see a giant vat filled to the brim with another noxious substance. A nearby plaque informs you this is Plutonium-238, along with some of its uses. Suddenly an alarm goes off, and you see that the vat containing the plutonium is cracked! The goops is flooding out - heading directly for you! 	After beating up the poor fella, you snag the security pass hanging around his neck - it was the ONLY WAY to get inside after all.
It seems like this lab deals with all sorts of things radioactive - you see mutants playing in a pool of green goop with 4, 5, even 6 arms! Highfiving all of them must be truly exhausting. In another room you see a giant vat filled to the brim with another noxious substance. A nearby plaque informs you this is Plutonium-238, along with some of its uses. Suddenly an alarm goes off, and you see that the vat containing the plutonium is cracked! The goops is flooding out - heading directly for you! 	After beating up the poor fella, you snag the security pass hanging around his neck - it was the ONLY WAY to get inside after all.
It seems like this lab deals with all sorts of things radioactive - you see mutants playing in a pool of green goop with 4, 5, even 6 arms! Highfiving all of them must be truly exhausting. In another room you see a giant vat filled to the brim with another noxious substance. A nearby plaque informs you this is Plutonium-238, along with some of its uses. Suddenly an alarm goes off, and you see that the vat containing the plutonium is cracked! The goops is flooding out - heading directly for you!
 	 	Mutant Zombie Marie Curie 	18 	
 	All of this radioactive goop floods over you and several scientists in nearby labs and hallways, but luckily you stole the safety goggles off the nerd next to you just in time - you're completely protected!
The same can't be said for the rest of the staff. You see one lady scientist keel over, turning inside out and green at the same time, her body deforming and twisting until - oh nevermind, she's alright! Infact she looks jacked as hell and pleased with herself.
You two decide to celebrate by duking it out! 	All of this radioactive goop floods over you and several scientists in nearby labs and hallways, but luckily you stole the safety goggles off the nerd next to you just in time - you're completely protected!
The same can't be said for the rest of the staff. You see one lady scientist keel over, turning inside out and green at the same time, her body deforming and twisting until - oh nevermind, she's alright! Infact she looks jacked as hell and pleased with herself.
You two decide to celebrate by duking it out! 	All of this radioactive goop floods over you and several scientists in nearby labs and hallways, but luckily you stole the safety goggles off the nerd next to you just in time - you're completely protected!
The same can't be said for the rest of the staff. You see one lady scientist keel over, turning inside out and green at the same time, her body deforming and twisting until - oh nevermind, she's alright! Infact she looks jacked as hell and pleased with herself.
You two decide to celebrate by duking it out! 	All of this radioactive goop floods over you and several scientists in nearby labs and hallways, but luckily you stole the safety goggles off the nerd next to you just in time - you're completely protected!
The same can't be said for the rest of the staff. You see one lady scientist keel over, turning inside out and green at the same time, her body deforming and twisting until - oh nevermind, she's alright! Infact she looks jacked as hell and pleased with herself.
You two decide to celebrate by duking it out!
 	 	Pair of Shades Wearing Shades 	18 	Reference to a popular CSI Miami meme
 	You wave goodbye to the scientist lady and continue on your journey through the labs, having made a cool new zombie mutant friend.
Before long you reach a new exhibit - the coolest pair of shades in existence. You see them peep out of a little den and are taken aback by the awesome energy it exhudes - these shades are so cool they're wearing their OWN pair of shades. Dear god... You have to have them!!! 	You wave goodbye to the scientist lady and continue on your journey through the labs, having made a cool new zombie mutant friend.
Before long you reach a new exhibit - the coolest pair of shades in existence. You see them peep out of a little den and are taken aback by the awesome energy it exhudes - these shades are so cool they're wearing their OWN pair of shades. Dear god... You have to have them!!! 	You wave goodbye to the scientist lady and continue on your journey through the labs, having made a cool new zombie mutant friend.
Before long you reach a new exhibit - the coolest pair of shades in existence. You see them peep out of a little den and are taken aback by the awesome energy it exhudes - these shades are so cool they're wearing their OWN pair of shades. Dear god... You have to have them!!! 	You wave goodbye to the scientist lady and continue on your journey through the labs, having made a cool new zombie mutant friend.
Before long you reach a new exhibit - the coolest pair of shades in existence. You see them peep out of a little den and are taken aback by the awesome energy it exhudes - these shades are so cool they're wearing their OWN pair of shades. Dear god... You have to have them!!!
 	 	A Wandering Gamma Ray 	18 	
 	Cool shades in hand, you make it to a large, open atrium. In the middle you see a massive, sealed vault, glowing with all sorts of mystical (and probably radioactive) energy. That's got to be where the last MacGuffin is!
In your haste to make it over to the vault however, a wandering Gamma Ray collides into you - which is surprising seeing as it's about 50 feet long and wearing its own set of cool shades. Oh well, there's fighting to be done! 	Cool shades in hand, you make it to a large, open atrium. In the middle you see a massive, sealed vault, glowing with all sorts of mystical (and probably radioactive) energy. That's got to be where the last MacGuffin is!
In your haste to make it over to the vault however, a wandering Gamma Ray collides into you - which is surprising seeing as it's about 50 feet long and wearing its own set of cool shades. Oh well, there's fighting to be done! 	Cool shades in hand, you make it to a large, open atrium. In the middle you see a massive, sealed vault, glowing with all sorts of mystical (and probably radioactive) energy. That's got to be where the last MacGuffin is!
In your haste to make it over to the vault however, a wandering Gamma Ray collides into you - which is surprising seeing as it's about 50 feet long and wearing its own set of cool shades. Oh well, there's fighting to be done! 	Cool shades in hand, you make it to a large, open atrium. In the middle you see a massive, sealed vault, glowing with all sorts of mystical (and probably radioactive) energy. That's got to be where the last MacGuffin is!
In your haste to make it over to the vault however, a wandering Gamma Ray collides into you - which is surprising seeing as it's about 50 feet long and wearing its own set of cool shades. Oh well, there's fighting to be done!
 	 	A Massive Sealed Vault 	18 	
 	With the Gamma Ray taken care of, you continue unhindered to the Massive Sealed Vault! Hooray!
But, when you finally get close enough' you keel over with the kind of nausea that can only be produced by the world's worst buildup to a pun. You prepare yourself to send the Seal off into the shadow realms. 	With the Gamma Ray taken care of, you continue unhindered to the Massive Sealed Vault! Hooray!
But, when you finally get close enough' you keel over with the kind of nausea that can only be produced by the world's worst buildup to a pun. You prepare yourself to send the Seal off into the shadow realms. 	With the Gamma Ray taken care of, you continue unhindered to the Massive Sealed Vault! Hooray!
But, when you finally get close enough' you keel over with the kind of nausea that can only be produced by the world's worst buildup to a pun. You prepare yourself to send the Seal off into the shadow realms. 	With the Gamma Ray taken care of, you continue unhindered to the Massive Sealed Vault! Hooray!
But, when you finally get close enough' you keel over with the kind of nausea that can only be produced by the world's worst buildup to a pun. You prepare yourself to send the Seal off into the shadow realms.
 	 	RADIOACTIVE MACGUFFIN 	18 	
 	All that's left now is to gain access to this vault. You try the keycard you stole on the nearby security panel but it flashes "INSUFFICIENT SECURITY CLEARANCE". You think about it for a second and manually enter "1111" as the security passcode. The door whooshes open instantly and you head inside, feeling rather smug.
Inside there's a large pedestal housing a particularly menacing looking MacGuffin hovering inside a containment field - and the Traitor, taking it down and grabbing the MacGuffin inside!
"YOU AGAIN??! After I conveniently wasted your time for about another 50 bosses??! No no no, you were supposed to give up and die! This isn't right at all!? You've never seen the Traitor look this agitated and well, pissed before. "At least you brought the last MacGuffin to me - that saves me a bit of time." The Traitor tosses the radioactive MacGuffin a couple time in their hands, before flinging it at your head!!! You drop your own MacGuffin, falling to the ground in pain and in a flash, the traitor scoops up both MacGuffins.
"Oldest trick in the book, heh. Guess I'll destroy you now!? With a snap of their fingers the Radioactive MacGuffin unleashes a wave of plot-energy at you!! The Traitor scoops up their ill gotten goods and vanishes in a flash, as you fall to the ground, about to pass out once again...
...But not before grasping your portal device, turning the dial randomly, and
*ZWOOP*
...barely escaping before the last of your strength fades.
(This ends the story for Evil difficulty - Reach boss 201 on Sadistic Difficulty to see the conclusion to this really, really stupid story!) 	All that's left now is to gain access to this vault. You try the keycard you stole on the nearby security panel but it flashes "INSUFFICIENT SECURITY CLEARANCE". You think about it for a second and manually enter "1111" as the security passcode. The door whooshes open instantly and you head inside, feeling rather smug.
Inside there's a large pedestal housing a particularly menacing looking MacGuffin hovering inside a containment field - and the Traitor, taking it down and grabbing the MacGuffin inside!
"YOU AGAIN??! After I conveniently wasted your time for about another 50 bosses??! No no no, you were supposed to give up and die! This isn't right at all!? You've never seen the Traitor look this agitated and well, pissed before. "At least you brought the last MacGuffin to me - that saves me a bit of time." The Traitor tosses the radioactive MacGuffin a couple time in their hands, before flinging it at your head!!! You drop your own MacGuffin, falling to the ground in pain and in a flash, the traitor scoops up both MacGuffins.
"Oldest trick in the book, heh. Guess I'll destroy you now!? With a snap of their fingers the Radioactive MacGuffin unleashes a wave of plot-energy at you!! The Traitor scoops up their ill gotten goods and vanishes in a flash, as you fall to the ground, about to pass out once again...
...But not before grasping your portal device, turning the dial randomly, and
*ZWOOP*
...barely escaping before the last of your strength fades.
(This ends the story for Evil difficulty - Reach boss 201 on Sadistic Difficulty to see the conclusion to this really, really stupid story!) 	All that's left now is to gain access to this vault. You try the keycard you stole on the nearby security panel but it flashes "INSUFFICIENT SECURITY CLEARANCE". You think about it for a second and manually enter "1111" as the security passcode. The door whooshes open instantly and you head inside, feeling rather smug.
Inside there's a large pedestal housing a particularly menacing looking MacGuffin hovering inside a containment field - and the Traitor, taking it down and grabbing the MacGuffin inside!
"YOU AGAIN??! After I conveniently wasted your time for about another 50 bosses??! No no no, you were supposed to give up and die! This isn't right at all!? You've never seen the Traitor look this agitated and well, pissed before. "At least you brought the last MacGuffin to me - that saves me a bit of time." The Traitor tosses the radioactive MacGuffin a couple time in their hands, before flinging it at your head!!! You drop your own MacGuffin, falling to the ground in pain and in a flash, the traitor scoops up both MacGuffins.
"Oldest trick in the book, heh. Guess I'll destroy you now!? With a snap of their fingers the Radioactive MacGuffin unleashes a wave of plot-energy at you!! The Traitor scoops up their ill gotten goods and vanishes in a flash, as you fall to the ground, about to pass out once again...
...But not before grasping your portal device, turning the dial randomly, and
*ZWOOP*
...barely escaping before the last of your strength fades.
(This ends the story for Evil difficulty - Reach boss 201 on Sadistic Difficulty to see the conclusion to this really, really stupid story!) 	All that's left now is to gain access to this vault. You try the keycard you stole on the nearby security panel but it flashes "INSUFFICIENT SECURITY CLEARANCE". You think about it for a second and manually enter "1111" as the security passcode. The door whooshes open instantly and you head inside, feeling rather smug.
Inside there's a large pedestal housing a particularly menacing looking MacGuffin hovering inside a containment field - and the Traitor, taking it down and grabbing the MacGuffin inside!
"YOU AGAIN??! After I conveniently wasted your time for about another 50 bosses??! No no no, you were supposed to give up and die! This isn't right at all!? You've never seen the Traitor look this agitated and well, pissed before. "At least you brought the last MacGuffin to me - that saves me a bit of time." The Traitor tosses the radioactive MacGuffin a couple time in their hands, before flinging it at your head!!! You drop your own MacGuffin, falling to the ground in pain and in a flash, the traitor scoops up both MacGuffins.
"Oldest trick in the book, heh. Guess I'll destroy you now!? With a snap of their fingers the Radioactive MacGuffin unleashes a wave of plot-energy at you!! The Traitor scoops up their ill gotten goods and vanishes in a flash, as you fall to the ground, about to pass out once again...
...But not before grasping your portal device, turning the dial randomly, and
*ZWOOP*
...barely escaping before the last of your strength fades.
(This ends the story for Evil difficulty - Reach boss 201 on Sadistic Difficulty to see the conclusion to this really, really stupid story!)
 	 	Grandma's 'Brownies' 	18 	
 	You've come to, yet again. You're starting to get really annoyed at the Traitor knocking you out and weakening you, over and over... But this time, the smell of home baking makes is a lot more pleasant. It doesn't hurt that you're absolutely starving too. Opening your eyes, you see you're on a softy, comfy bed, in the distance you hear the humming of an old lady. Struggling to your feet, you head to the source of the noise.
You see a sweet old Grandma busying herself in the kitchen, baking a lot of yummy treats. She spots you across the klitchen and beams at you "Oh thank heavens you're awake, dearie! I saw you appear just outside my home and pass out and I was worried sick over you. Do you need a glass of water, honey?" You nod, more than a little confused, and she shuffles over to the cupboards to fill a glass. You accept the water with a thanks.
"Well whatever happened to you or how you got here, everything's okay now. You can rest here and heal, this world has seen nothing but peace for cent-"
A thunderous BOOM of utterly non-peaceful intent interrupts her speech. She peeks out a nearby window.
"Aw crap, there goes the neighbourhood!" She exclaims.
"And another neighbourhood! And another..."
You bolt up and get ready to rush out the door, to confront what HAS to be the Traitor again.
Wait, sweetie! Take one of these with you!" She hands you a small box of freshly baked brownies, which look like the most delicious pieces of baked goods in the entire universe to you right now. "I made these extra special for you!"
You take about 3 steps outside before you eye the box again with ravenous desire... Can you resist scarfing down these brownies right here and now?
(The answer is no.) 	You've come to, yet again. You're starting to get really annoyed at the Traitor knocking you out and weakening you, over and over... But this time, the smell of home baking makes is a lot more pleasant. It doesn't hurt that you're absolutely starving too. Opening your eyes, you see you're on a softy, comfy bed, in the distance you hear the humming of an old lady. Struggling to your feet, you head to the source of the noise.
You see a sweet old Grandma busying herself in the kitchen, baking a lot of yummy treats. She spots you across the klitchen and beams at you "Oh thank heavens you're awake, dearie! I saw you appear just outside my home and pass out and I was worried sick over you. Do you need a glass of water, honey?" You nod, more than a little confused, and she shuffles over to the cupboards to fill a glass. You accept the water with a thanks.
"Well whatever happened to you or how you got here, everything's okay now. You can rest here and heal, this world has seen nothing but peace for cent-"
A thunderous BOOM of utterly non-peaceful intent interrupts her speech. She peeks out a nearby window.
"Aw crap, there goes the neighbourhood!" She exclaims.
"And another neighbourhood! And another..."
You bolt up and get ready to rush out the door, to confront what HAS to be the Traitor again.
Wait, sweetie! Take one of these with you!" She hands you a small box of freshly baked brownies, which look like the most delicious pieces of baked goods in the entire universe to you right now. "I made these extra special for you!"
You take about 3 steps outside before you eye the box again with ravenous desire... Can you resist scarfing down these brownies right here and now?
(The answer is no.) 	You've come to, yet again. You're starting to get really annoyed at the Traitor knocking you out and weakening you, over and over... But this time, the smell of home baking makes is a lot more pleasant. It doesn't hurt that you're absolutely starving too. Opening your eyes, you see you're on a softy, comfy bed, in the distance you hear the humming of an old lady. Struggling to your feet, you head to the source of the noise.
You see a sweet old Grandma busying herself in the kitchen, baking a lot of yummy treats. She spots you across the klitchen and beams at you "Oh thank heavens you're awake, dearie! I saw you appear just outside my home and pass out and I was worried sick over you. Do you need a glass of water, honey?" You nod, more than a little confused, and she shuffles over to the cupboards to fill a glass. You accept the water with a thanks.
"Well whatever happened to you or how you got here, everything's okay now. You can rest here and heal, this world has seen nothing but peace for cent-"
A thunderous BOOM of utterly non-peaceful intent interrupts her speech. She peeks out a nearby window.
"Aw crap, there goes the neighbourhood!" She exclaims.
"And another neighbourhood! And another..."
You bolt up and get ready to rush out the door, to confront what HAS to be the Traitor again.
Wait, sweetie! Take one of these with you!" She hands you a small box of freshly baked brownies, which look like the most delicious pieces of baked goods in the entire universe to you right now. "I made these extra special for you!"
You take about 3 steps outside before you eye the box again with ravenous desire... Can you resist scarfing down these brownies right here and now?
(The answer is no.) 	You've come to, yet again. You're starting to get really annoyed at the Traitor knocking you out and weakening you, over and over... But this time, the smell of home baking makes is a lot more pleasant. It doesn't hurt that you're absolutely starving too. Opening your eyes, you see you're on a softy, comfy bed, in the distance you hear the humming of an old lady. Struggling to your feet, you head to the source of the noise.
You see a sweet old Grandma busying herself in the kitchen, baking a lot of yummy treats. She spots you across the klitchen and beams at you "Oh thank heavens you're awake, dearie! I saw you appear just outside my home and pass out and I was worried sick over you. Do you need a glass of water, honey?" You nod, more than a little confused, and she shuffles over to the cupboards to fill a glass. You accept the water with a thanks.
"Well whatever happened to you or how you got here, everything's okay now. You can rest here and heal, this world has seen nothing but peace for cent-"
A thunderous BOOM of utterly non-peaceful intent interrupts her speech. She peeks out a nearby window.
"Aw crap, there goes the neighbourhood!" She exclaims.
"And another neighbourhood! And another..."
You bolt up and get ready to rush out the door, to confront what HAS to be the Traitor again.
Wait, sweetie! Take one of these with you!" She hands you a small box of freshly baked brownies, which look like the most delicious pieces of baked goods in the entire universe to you right now. "I made these extra special for you!"
You take about 3 steps outside before you eye the box again with ravenous desire... Can you resist scarfing down these brownies right here and now?
(The answer is no.)
 	 	Angry Raw Cookie Dough 	18 	
 	Six heavenly brownies later, along with the rest of your dignity, and you hit the road again, towards the commotion in the center of this very bready town. It seems that this world is entirely made of baked goods and bread! Yum.
However, the Tratior sure hasn't wasted time causing utter chaos to this place. Before long you see a piece of raw cookie dough infused with evil villainous energy. A great foe to start gaining back your full strength, and more. 	Six heavenly brownies later, along with the rest of your dignity, and you hit the road again, towards the commotion in the center of this very bready town. It seems that this world is entirely made of baked goods and bread! Yum.
However, the Tratior sure hasn't wasted time causing utter chaos to this place. Before long you see a piece of raw cookie dough infused with evil villainous energy. A great foe to start gaining back your full strength, and more. 	Six heavenly brownies later, along with the rest of your dignity, and you hit the road again, towards the commotion in the center of this very bready town. It seems that this world is entirely made of baked goods and bread! Yum.
However, the Tratior sure hasn't wasted time causing utter chaos to this place. Before long you see a piece of raw cookie dough infused with evil villainous energy. A great foe to start gaining back your full strength, and more. 	Six heavenly brownies later, along with the rest of your dignity, and you hit the road again, towards the commotion in the center of this very bready town. It seems that this world is entirely made of baked goods and bread! Yum.
However, the Tratior sure hasn't wasted time causing utter chaos to this place. Before long you see a piece of raw cookie dough infused with evil villainous energy. A great foe to start gaining back your full strength, and more.
 	 	A Bearded Breaded Braid 	18 	
 	You beat the evil out of the cookie dough, leaving it merely angry, and continue on.
You've just about arrived at the town proper, where you can see all sorts of torched and burned buildings. Normally this would be awful, but since everything is made out of bread it just smells like a bunch of toast, which is pretty good! You pass a barber shop on fire, and see something hop out, able to twist the tongue of any mortal being: a Bearded Breaded Braid. You're not ever sure that's a real thing but it's about to kick your ass so I think you just have to accept it! AHHHHHH!!! 	You beat the evil out of the cookie dough, leaving it merely angry, and continue on.
You've just about arrived at the town proper, where you can see all sorts of torched and burned buildings. Normally this would be awful, but since everything is made out of bread it just smells like a bunch of toast, which is pretty good! You pass a barber shop on fire, and see something hop out, able to twist the tongue of any mortal being: a Bearded Breaded Braid. You're not ever sure that's a real thing but it's about to kick your ass so I think you just have to accept it! AHHHHHH!!! 	You beat the evil out of the cookie dough, leaving it merely angry, and continue on.
You've just about arrived at the town proper, where you can see all sorts of torched and burned buildings. Normally this would be awful, but since everything is made out of bread it just smells like a bunch of toast, which is pretty good! You pass a barber shop on fire, and see something hop out, able to twist the tongue of any mortal being: a Bearded Breaded Braid. You're not ever sure that's a real thing but it's about to kick your ass so I think you just have to accept it! AHHHHHH!!! 	You beat the evil out of the cookie dough, leaving it merely angry, and continue on.
You've just about arrived at the town proper, where you can see all sorts of torched and burned buildings. Normally this would be awful, but since everything is made out of bread it just smells like a bunch of toast, which is pretty good! You pass a barber shop on fire, and see something hop out, able to twist the tongue of any mortal being: a Bearded Breaded Braid. You're not ever sure that's a real thing but it's about to kick your ass so I think you just have to accept it! AHHHHHH!!!
 	 	Butcher & Candlestick Maker 	19 	Rub-a-dub-dub
 	After the fight you spend a hot minute untangling the knot in your tongue before you head on.
Of all things, you spot a bakery, which seems like a poor business to set up in a world whose very existence already revolves around baked goods. You're not gonna question it, thiough. Instead you're questioning why two fat naked men, soaking wet, are trying to loot the bakery wearing nothing but a towel around their naughty bits. Actually, you decide to beat them up instead. 	After the fight you spend a hot minute untangling the knot in your tongue before you head on.
Of all things, you spot a bakery, which seems like a poor business to set up in a world whose very existence already revolves around baked goods. You're not gonna question it, thiough. Instead you're questioning why two fat naked men, soaking wet, are trying to loot the bakery wearing nothing but a towel around their naughty bits. Actually, you decide to beat them up instead. 	After the fight you spend a hot minute untangling the knot in your tongue before you head on.
Of all things, you spot a bakery, which seems like a poor business to set up in a world whose very existence already revolves around baked goods. You're not gonna question it, thiough. Instead you're questioning why two fat naked men, soaking wet, are trying to loot the bakery wearing nothing but a towel around their naughty bits. Actually, you decide to beat them up instead. 	After the fight you spend a hot minute untangling the knot in your tongue before you head on.
Of all things, you spot a bakery, which seems like a poor business to set up in a world whose very existence already revolves around baked goods. You're not gonna question it, thiough. Instead you're questioning why two fat naked men, soaking wet, are trying to loot the bakery wearing nothing but a towel around their naughty bits. Actually, you decide to beat them up instead.
 	 	The Ex-Greatest Thing 	19 	
 	You throw down the weird naked dude and head inside to see if anyone inside needs rescuing. And indeed, you see a baker cowering in the corner, while some....'thing' tries to do a murder! You throw it off the poor man, and get a proper look at it. You see now why it's in such a murderous rage. It's the last greatest thing until sliced bread came along - You'd be pissed too! 	You throw down the weird naked dude and head inside to see if anyone inside needs rescuing. And indeed, you see a baker cowering in the corner, while some....'thing' tries to do a murder! You throw it off the poor man, and get a proper look at it. You see now why it's in such a murderous rage. It's the last greatest thing until sliced bread came along - You'd be pissed too! 	You throw down the weird naked dude and head inside to see if anyone inside needs rescuing. And indeed, you see a baker cowering in the corner, while some....'thing' tries to do a murder! You throw it off the poor man, and get a proper look at it. You see now why it's in such a murderous rage. It's the last greatest thing until sliced bread came along - You'd be pissed too! 	You throw down the weird naked dude and head inside to see if anyone inside needs rescuing. And indeed, you see a baker cowering in the corner, while some....'thing' tries to do a murder! You throw it off the poor man, and get a proper look at it. You see now why it's in such a murderous rage. It's the last greatest thing until sliced bread came along - You'd be pissed too!
 	 	Moldy Slice Of Bread 	19 	
 	You give a smile and a nod and take your leave, as the baker thanks you for saving him. A good deed to be sure, but you have to hurry to stop the Traitor from completing the last stages of his evil plan!
(Something about 12 seals to be broken? Sure, we'll continue with that idea.)
As you approach the center of the town, you see the toxic evil aura ramping up in effect. A lone piece of bread has gone moldy, and with it, has lost its mind. It charges at you in rage and confusion! 	You give a smile and a nod and take your leave, as the baker thanks you for saving him. A good deed to be sure, but you have to hurry to stop the Traitor from completing the last stages of his evil plan!
(Something about 12 seals to be broken? Sure, we'll continue with that idea.)
As you approach the center of the town, you see the toxic evil aura ramping up in effect. A lone piece of bread has gone moldy, and with it, has lost its mind. It charges at you in rage and confusion! 	You give a smile and a nod and take your leave, as the baker thanks you for saving him. A good deed to be sure, but you have to hurry to stop the Traitor from completing the last stages of his evil plan!
(Something about 12 seals to be broken? Sure, we'll continue with that idea.)
As you approach the center of the town, you see the toxic evil aura ramping up in effect. A lone piece of bread has gone moldy, and with it, has lost its mind. It charges at you in rage and confusion! 	You give a smile and a nod and take your leave, as the baker thanks you for saving him. A good deed to be sure, but you have to hurry to stop the Traitor from completing the last stages of his evil plan!
(Something about 12 seals to be broken? Sure, we'll continue with that idea.)
As you approach the center of the town, you see the toxic evil aura ramping up in effect. A lone piece of bread has gone moldy, and with it, has lost its mind. It charges at you in rage and confusion!
 	 	The Yeast Beast 	19 	
 	A couple bread-suplexes later, and you toss your vanquished foe to the side.
Finally, you can see where the traitor has crashed into! In the center of the bread-town you see a giant crater and a small structure still standing. You also spot the Traitor, surrounded by all those stupid MacGuffins! With a mere glance backwards at you, The MacGuffins start glowing and spinning faster around him, as he summons two horrible beasts to confront you. One, a horrific mound of bubbling, yeasty dough, the other... a pretty normal looking baguette. Weird.
You move in to do battle with the more yeasty foe, and throw a haymaker at it! To your dismay, your hand sinks right in! You yank your hand out in a panic to find it's swallowed that special ring you looted from UUG!! This sends you into a murderous rage like you've never felt before. 	A couple bread-suplexes later, and you toss your vanquished foe to the side.
Finally, you can see where the traitor has crashed into! In the center of the bread-town you see a giant crater and a small structure still standing. You also spot the Traitor, surrounded by all those stupid MacGuffins! With a mere glance backwards at you, The MacGuffins start glowing and spinning faster around him, as he summons two horrible beasts to confront you. One, a horrific mound of bubbling, yeasty dough, the other... a pretty normal looking baguette. Weird.
You move in to do battle with the more yeasty foe, and throw a haymaker at it! To your dismay, your hand sinks right in! You yank your hand out in a panic to find it's swallowed that special ring you looted from UUG!! This sends you into a murderous rage like you've never felt before. 	A couple bread-suplexes later, and you toss your vanquished foe to the side.
Finally, you can see where the traitor has crashed into! In the center of the bread-town you see a giant crater and a small structure still standing. You also spot the Traitor, surrounded by all those stupid MacGuffins! With a mere glance backwards at you, The MacGuffins start glowing and spinning faster around him, as he summons two horrible beasts to confront you. One, a horrific mound of bubbling, yeasty dough, the other... a pretty normal looking baguette. Weird.
You move in to do battle with the more yeasty foe, and throw a haymaker at it! To your dismay, your hand sinks right in! You yank your hand out in a panic to find it's swallowed that special ring you looted from UUG!! This sends you into a murderous rage like you've never felt before. 	A couple bread-suplexes later, and you toss your vanquished foe to the side.
Finally, you can see where the traitor has crashed into! In the center of the bread-town you see a giant crater and a small structure still standing. You also spot the Traitor, surrounded by all those stupid MacGuffins! With a mere glance backwards at you, The MacGuffins start glowing and spinning faster around him, as he summons two horrible beasts to confront you. One, a horrific mound of bubbling, yeasty dough, the other... a pretty normal looking baguette. Weird.
You move in to do battle with the more yeasty foe, and throw a haymaker at it! To your dismay, your hand sinks right in! You yank your hand out in a panic to find it's swallowed that special ring you looted from UUG!! This sends you into a murderous rage like you've never felt before.
 	 	A Day-Old Baguette 	19 	
 	You smash the blobby, yeasty asshole into a bubbling goop, and quickly scoop the ring it stole. You then give it an extra stomp for good measure. Suddenly...
*THWACK*
You take a blow so hard to your head for a moment you think you're a hummingbird looking for nectar. The Day Old Baguette delivered a terrifying whallop and sent you flying into a nearby building! You pull yourself out of the wreckage, and take a quick moment to reacquaint yourself with reality. Analyzing  the situation, you scoop up a near puddle of muddy brown water and fly back, better prepared for your final foe. 	You smash the blobby, yeasty asshole into a bubbling goop, and quickly scoop the ring it stole. You then give it an extra stomp for good measure. Suddenly...
*THWACK*
You take a blow so hard to your head for a moment you think you're a hummingbird looking for nectar. The Day Old Baguette delivered a terrifying whallop and sent you flying into a nearby building! You pull yourself out of the wreckage, and take a quick moment to reacquaint yourself with reality. Analyzing  the situation, you scoop up a near puddle of muddy brown water and fly back, better prepared for your final foe. 	You smash the blobby, yeasty asshole into a bubbling goop, and quickly scoop the ring it stole. You then give it an extra stomp for good measure. Suddenly...
*THWACK*
You take a blow so hard to your head for a moment you think you're a hummingbird looking for nectar. The Day Old Baguette delivered a terrifying whallop and sent you flying into a nearby building! You pull yourself out of the wreckage, and take a quick moment to reacquaint yourself with reality. Analyzing  the situation, you scoop up a near puddle of muddy brown water and fly back, better prepared for your final foe. 	You smash the blobby, yeasty asshole into a bubbling goop, and quickly scoop the ring it stole. You then give it an extra stomp for good measure. Suddenly...
*THWACK*
You take a blow so hard to your head for a moment you think you're a hummingbird looking for nectar. The Day Old Baguette delivered a terrifying whallop and sent you flying into a nearby building! You pull yourself out of the wreckage, and take a quick moment to reacquaint yourself with reality. Analyzing  the situation, you scoop up a near puddle of muddy brown water and fly back, better prepared for your final foe.
 	 	A Groovy Saxophone 	19 	
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Breadverse!)
You eventually soften the baguette enough that it falls apart on its next swing at you. Noting the end of the fight, the Traitor looks up.
"Hey, are you finished taking out both the guards I sic'd on you? Good. I want you to check this out.
The Taitor raises his arms and the MacGuffins glow with eerie plot magic and suddenly, the weird bready structure explodes! You feel a low rumble shortly after, like a small earthquake, except it feels deeper, like it's affecting something core to existence itself.
"One down, eleven to go." And with that, the Traitor vanishes out of thin air! Dammit!
You can only think of one lead left now... and so you -
*ZWOOP*
- head back to that stupid secret lab. Anticipating that you'd come back to this location it seems like the Traitor placed an insta-death kill field around the garage. Luckily, one of his goons set the field in reverse so it murderized everything *except* the inside of the garage - you see the severely dead moron just on the other side of the garage door slumped over a control panel for the field.
Moving into the lab, you start scouring the computer for any clues for the location of these seals the Traitor is hellbent on breaking. Luckily, you find a folder pretty quickly labelled "Horrible Awful Fetish Porn" that contains some pretty useful data relating to these seals! The bad news is you first checked out the "Super Boring Lab Notes" folder which held... yeah.
Therapy won't help you now.
But you know where to look next so it's okay!
*ZWOOP*
Damn, this place is partying almost as hard as the interdimensional party! Funky music is blasting in the background, along with a roller rink and a lit up dance floor. The colours are so intense they make your head swim for a moment! An exceptionally groovy jazz solo also comes into your senses' focus. The culprit, unbelievably, is a saxaphone. I'll give you a moment to process this.
Alright, back to the story. This saxaphone isn't just playing some trippy, cool music - It's trying to hypnotize you or something! You're gonna have to take it out.	(You've unlocked a new zone: Breadverse!)
You eventually soften the baguette enough that it falls apart on its next swing at you. Noting the end of the fight, the Traitor looks up.
"Hey, are you finished taking out both the guards I sic'd on you? Good. I want you to check this out.
The Taitor raises his arms and the MacGuffins glow with eerie plot magic and suddenly, the weird bready structure explodes! You feel a low rumble shortly after, like a small earthquake, except it feels deeper, like it's affecting something core to existence itself.
"One down, eleven to go." And with that, the Traitor vanishes out of thin air! Dammit!
You can only think of one lead left now... and so you -
*ZWOOP*
- head back to that stupid secret lab. Anticipating that you'd come back to this location it seems like the Traitor placed an insta-death kill field around the garage. Luckily, one of his goons set the field in reverse so it murderized everything *except* the inside of the garage - you see the severely dead moron just on the other side of the garage door slumped over a control panel for the field.
Moving into the lab, you start scouring the computer for any clues for the location of these seals the Traitor is hellbent on breaking. Luckily, you find a folder pretty quickly labelled "Horrible Awful Fetish Porn" that contains some pretty useful data relating to these seals! The bad news is you first checked out the "Super Boring Lab Notes" folder which held... yeah.
Therapy won't help you now.
But you know where to look next so it's okay!
*ZWOOP*
Damn, this place is partying almost as hard as the interdimensional party! Funky music is blasting in the background, along with a roller rink and a lit up dance floor. The colours are so intense they make your head swim for a moment! An exceptionally groovy jazz solo also comes into your senses' focus. The culprit, unbelievably, is a saxaphone. I'll give you a moment to process this.
Alright, back to the story. This saxaphone isn't just playing some trippy, cool music - It's trying to hypnotize you or something! You're gonna have to take it out.	(You've unlocked a new zone: Breadverse!)
You eventually soften the baguette enough that it falls apart on its next swing at you. Noting the end of the fight, the Traitor looks up.
"Hey, are you finished taking out both the guards I sic'd on you? Good. I want you to check this out.
The Taitor raises his arms and the MacGuffins glow with eerie plot magic and suddenly, the weird bready structure explodes! You feel a low rumble shortly after, like a small earthquake, except it feels deeper, like it's affecting something core to existence itself.
"One down, eleven to go." And with that, the Traitor vanishes out of thin air! Dammit!
You can only think of one lead left now... and so you -
*ZWOOP*
- head back to that stupid secret lab. Anticipating that you'd come back to this location it seems like the Traitor placed an insta-death kill field around the garage. Luckily, one of his goons set the field in reverse so it murderized everything *except* the inside of the garage - you see the severely dead moron just on the other side of the garage door slumped over a control panel for the field.
Moving into the lab, you start scouring the computer for any clues for the location of these seals the Traitor is hellbent on breaking. Luckily, you find a folder pretty quickly labelled "Horrible Awful Fetish Porn" that contains some pretty useful data relating to these seals! The bad news is you first checked out the "Super Boring Lab Notes" folder which held... yeah.
Therapy won't help you now.
But you know where to look next so it's okay!
*ZWOOP*
Damn, this place is partying almost as hard as the interdimensional party! Funky music is blasting in the background, along with a roller rink and a lit up dance floor. The colours are so intense they make your head swim for a moment! An exceptionally groovy jazz solo also comes into your senses' focus. The culprit, unbelievably, is a saxaphone. I'll give you a moment to process this.
Alright, back to the story. This saxaphone isn't just playing some trippy, cool music - It's trying to hypnotize you or something! You're gonna have to take it out.	(You've unlocked a new zone: Breadverse!)
You eventually soften the baguette enough that it falls apart on its next swing at you. Noting the end of the fight, the Traitor looks up.
"Hey, are you finished taking out both the guards I sic'd on you? Good. I want you to check this out.
The Taitor raises his arms and the MacGuffins glow with eerie plot magic and suddenly, the weird bready structure explodes! You feel a low rumble shortly after, like a small earthquake, except it feels deeper, like it's affecting something core to existence itself.
"One down, eleven to go." And with that, the Traitor vanishes out of thin air! Dammit!
You can only think of one lead left now... and so you -
*ZWOOP*
- head back to that stupid secret lab. Anticipating that you'd come back to this location it seems like the Traitor placed an insta-death kill field around the garage. Luckily, one of his goons set the field in reverse so it murderized everything *except* the inside of the garage - you see the severely dead moron just on the other side of the garage door slumped over a control panel for the field.
Moving into the lab, you start scouring the computer for any clues for the location of these seals the Traitor is hellbent on breaking. Luckily, you find a folder pretty quickly labelled "Horrible Awful Fetish Porn" that contains some pretty useful data relating to these seals! The bad news is you first checked out the "Super Boring Lab Notes" folder which held... yeah.
Therapy won't help you now.
But you know where to look next so it's okay!
*ZWOOP*
Damn, this place is partying almost as hard as the interdimensional party! Funky music is blasting in the background, along with a roller rink and a lit up dance floor. The colours are so intense they make your head swim for a moment! An exceptionally groovy jazz solo also comes into your senses' focus. The culprit, unbelievably, is a saxaphone. I'll give you a moment to process this.
Alright, back to the story. This saxaphone isn't just playing some trippy, cool music - It's trying to hypnotize you or something! You're gonna have to take it out.
 	 	A Giant Pair of Roller Skates 	19 	
 	With the Groovy jazz solo stopped, you can finally get your bearings in this new place. There are tons of people on the nearby dancefloor, dancing to the music, or taking shots and... other stuff at a nearby bar. There's also a lot of skaters at the roller rink, which seems fun, so you check it out first. You grab a nearby pair of roller skates , strap em on, and learn a new fact about yourself-  you can't skate worth shit. You wobble back and forth crazily on the rink and nearly fall over a hilarious number of times. When you think you've finally got the hang of it.... WHAM. You get bodychecked back into the stone age! You've taken so many hard blows in the last 24 hours that you're sure you've suffered some permanent damage to your internal organs. Looking up, you see a giant pair of roller skates zooming along, knocking everyone else out of the way too. You quickly take off your skates, and brace yourself on solid ground, ready for its next lap. 	With the Groovy jazz solo stopped, you can finally get your bearings in this new place. There are tons of people on the nearby dancefloor, dancing to the music, or taking shots and... other stuff at a nearby bar. There's also a lot of skaters at the roller rink, which seems fun, so you check it out first. You grab a nearby pair of roller skates , strap em on, and learn a new fact about yourself-  you can't skate worth shit. You wobble back and forth crazily on the rink and nearly fall over a hilarious number of times. When you think you've finally got the hang of it.... WHAM. You get bodychecked back into the stone age! You've taken so many hard blows in the last 24 hours that you're sure you've suffered some permanent damage to your internal organs. Looking up, you see a giant pair of roller skates zooming along, knocking everyone else out of the way too. You quickly take off your skates, and brace yourself on solid ground, ready for its next lap. 	With the Groovy jazz solo stopped, you can finally get your bearings in this new place. There are tons of people on the nearby dancefloor, dancing to the music, or taking shots and... other stuff at a nearby bar. There's also a lot of skaters at the roller rink, which seems fun, so you check it out first. You grab a nearby pair of roller skates , strap em on, and learn a new fact about yourself-  you can't skate worth shit. You wobble back and forth crazily on the rink and nearly fall over a hilarious number of times. When you think you've finally got the hang of it.... WHAM. You get bodychecked back into the stone age! You've taken so many hard blows in the last 24 hours that you're sure you've suffered some permanent damage to your internal organs. Looking up, you see a giant pair of roller skates zooming along, knocking everyone else out of the way too. You quickly take off your skates, and brace yourself on solid ground, ready for its next lap. 	With the Groovy jazz solo stopped, you can finally get your bearings in this new place. There are tons of people on the nearby dancefloor, dancing to the music, or taking shots and... other stuff at a nearby bar. There's also a lot of skaters at the roller rink, which seems fun, so you check it out first. You grab a nearby pair of roller skates , strap em on, and learn a new fact about yourself-  you can't skate worth shit. You wobble back and forth crazily on the rink and nearly fall over a hilarious number of times. When you think you've finally got the hang of it.... WHAM. You get bodychecked back into the stone age! You've taken so many hard blows in the last 24 hours that you're sure you've suffered some permanent damage to your internal organs. Looking up, you see a giant pair of roller skates zooming along, knocking everyone else out of the way too. You quickly take off your skates, and brace yourself on solid ground, ready for its next lap.
 	 	A 70's Porn Mustasche 	19 	
 	In a stroke of brilliance you manage to get the skates to trip up on their own laces and collapse in a tangled heap. Your passion for rollerskating depleted, you decide to hit up the dance floor, and maybe even figure out where this next seal is.
You start groovin' to the beat when the music takes on a more... sensual tone.
*BOW CHICKA BOW WOW*
"Well helloooo there, wanna know what it feels like to get tickled allll over"?
You turn around and witness the full hairy majesty, nay, the sheer sexual tyranosaurus energy, of a 70's porn 'stache. And it has YOU in its sights. 	In a stroke of brilliance you manage to get the skates to trip up on their own laces and collapse in a tangled heap. Your passion for rollerskating depleted, you decide to hit up the dance floor, and maybe even figure out where this next seal is.
You start groovin' to the beat when the music takes on a more... sensual tone.
*BOW CHICKA BOW WOW*
"Well helloooo there, wanna know what it feels like to get tickled allll over"?
You turn around and witness the full hairy majesty, nay, the sheer sexual tyranosaurus energy, of a 70's porn 'stache. And it has YOU in its sights. 	In a stroke of brilliance you manage to get the skates to trip up on their own laces and collapse in a tangled heap. Your passion for rollerskating depleted, you decide to hit up the dance floor, and maybe even figure out where this next seal is.
You start groovin' to the beat when the music takes on a more... sensual tone.
*BOW CHICKA BOW WOW*
"Well helloooo there, wanna know what it feels like to get tickled allll over"?
You turn around and witness the full hairy majesty, nay, the sheer sexual tyranosaurus energy, of a 70's porn 'stache. And it has YOU in its sights. 	In a stroke of brilliance you manage to get the skates to trip up on their own laces and collapse in a tangled heap. Your passion for rollerskating depleted, you decide to hit up the dance floor, and maybe even figure out where this next seal is.
You start groovin' to the beat when the music takes on a more... sensual tone.
*BOW CHICKA BOW WOW*
"Well helloooo there, wanna know what it feels like to get tickled allll over"?
You turn around and witness the full hairy majesty, nay, the sheer sexual tyranosaurus energy, of a 70's porn 'stache. And it has YOU in its sights.
 	 	A Disgusting Bong 	19 	
 	With the mustache massacred, everyone starts cheering and clapping. To your left, someone or something hands you a weird lamp and says "try this out, maaaaan..." It's filled with some thick, brown oil at the bottom and... oh no... this isn't a lamp, it's a gross-ass bong! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! 	With the mustache massacred, everyone starts cheering and clapping. To your left, someone or something hands you a weird lamp and says "try this out, maaaaan..." It's filled with some thick, brown oil at the bottom and... oh no... this isn't a lamp, it's a gross-ass bong! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! 	With the mustache massacred, everyone starts cheering and clapping. To your left, someone or something hands you a weird lamp and says "try this out, maaaaan..." It's filled with some thick, brown oil at the bottom and... oh no... this isn't a lamp, it's a gross-ass bong! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! 	With the mustache massacred, everyone starts cheering and clapping. To your left, someone or something hands you a weird lamp and says "try this out, maaaaan..." It's filled with some thick, brown oil at the bottom and... oh no... this isn't a lamp, it's a gross-ass bong! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
 	 	A Hippie with a Hip 	19 	
 	You dump out all the nasty ass bong water and give the kid some proper bong maintenance and cleaning tips. There's your good deed for the day.
You continue dancing along with the crowd, while keeping an eye out for anything either seal-shaped, MacGuffin-shaped, or traitor-shaped. Nothing seems to stand out so far, and your hips are starting to get a bit sore swaying this way and that.
One lady in the crowd isn't slowing down though. She's hip-checking fools left and right as she makes her way to you, a murderous gleam in her eyes. This is like the 3rd weirdest assassination attempt you've had to deal with this week. 	You dump out all the nasty ass bong water and give the kid some proper bong maintenance and cleaning tips. There's your good deed for the day.
You continue dancing along with the crowd, while keeping an eye out for anything either seal-shaped, MacGuffin-shaped, or traitor-shaped. Nothing seems to stand out so far, and your hips are starting to get a bit sore swaying this way and that.
One lady in the crowd isn't slowing down though. She's hip-checking fools left and right as she makes her way to you, a murderous gleam in her eyes. This is like the 3rd weirdest assassination attempt you've had to deal with this week. 	You dump out all the nasty ass bong water and give the kid some proper bong maintenance and cleaning tips. There's your good deed for the day.
You continue dancing along with the crowd, while keeping an eye out for anything either seal-shaped, MacGuffin-shaped, or traitor-shaped. Nothing seems to stand out so far, and your hips are starting to get a bit sore swaying this way and that.
One lady in the crowd isn't slowing down though. She's hip-checking fools left and right as she makes her way to you, a murderous gleam in her eyes. This is like the 3rd weirdest assassination attempt you've had to deal with this week. 	You dump out all the nasty ass bong water and give the kid some proper bong maintenance and cleaning tips. There's your good deed for the day.
You continue dancing along with the crowd, while keeping an eye out for anything either seal-shaped, MacGuffin-shaped, or traitor-shaped. Nothing seems to stand out so far, and your hips are starting to get a bit sore swaying this way and that.
One lady in the crowd isn't slowing down though. She's hip-checking fools left and right as she makes her way to you, a murderous gleam in her eyes. This is like the 3rd weirdest assassination attempt you've had to deal with this week.
 	 	Holy Crap It's Another Shark 	20 	
 	You counter her hip-checks with crude groin thrusts and she runs away, too offended to try to assassinate you anymore.
Cheers once again erupt from the crowd around you at your masterful display... or are they? No, those are definitely screams of terror. And now you see why; A SHARK HAS SHUFFLED ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR. The serious lack of rhythm and coordination on this shark has everyone fearing for their lives. 	You counter her hip-checks with crude groin thrusts and she runs away, too offended to try to assassinate you anymore.
Cheers once again erupt from the crowd around you at your masterful display... or are they? No, those are definitely screams of terror. And now you see why; A SHARK HAS SHUFFLED ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR. The serious lack of rhythm and coordination on this shark has everyone fearing for their lives. 	You counter her hip-checks with crude groin thrusts and she runs away, too offended to try to assassinate you anymore.
Cheers once again erupt from the crowd around you at your masterful display... or are they? No, those are definitely screams of terror. And now you see why; A SHARK HAS SHUFFLED ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR. The serious lack of rhythm and coordination on this shark has everyone fearing for their lives. 	You counter her hip-checks with crude groin thrusts and she runs away, too offended to try to assassinate you anymore.
Cheers once again erupt from the crowd around you at your masterful display... or are they? No, those are definitely screams of terror. And now you see why; A SHARK HAS SHUFFLED ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR. The serious lack of rhythm and coordination on this shark has everyone fearing for their lives.
 	 	THE WORST VINYL RECORD 	20 	Yoko Ono
 	With the shark incapacitated, the D.J decides to put on a new tune "This is a brand new album, I guarantee you ain't never heard sounds like these...
And the DJ is right, you never HAVE heard sounds like these. It's like two kookaburra's mating mixed in with the sounds of a dying giraffe. All the dancers start collapsing from the awful sounds, and you're reaching the limits of your endurance as well! What's going on here?? You have to stop that DJ before he destroys everyone with this godawful music! 	With the shark incapacitated, the D.J decides to put on a new tune "This is a brand new album, I guarantee you ain't never heard sounds like these...
And the DJ is right, you never HAVE heard sounds like these. It's like two kookaburra's mating mixed in with the sounds of a dying giraffe. All the dancers start collapsing from the awful sounds, and you're reaching the limits of your endurance as well! What's going on here?? You have to stop that DJ before he destroys everyone with this godawful music! 	With the shark incapacitated, the D.J decides to put on a new tune "This is a brand new album, I guarantee you ain't never heard sounds like these...
And the DJ is right, you never HAVE heard sounds like these. It's like two kookaburra's mating mixed in with the sounds of a dying giraffe. All the dancers start collapsing from the awful sounds, and you're reaching the limits of your endurance as well! What's going on here?? You have to stop that DJ before he destroys everyone with this godawful music! 	With the shark incapacitated, the D.J decides to put on a new tune "This is a brand new album, I guarantee you ain't never heard sounds like these...
And the DJ is right, you never HAVE heard sounds like these. It's like two kookaburra's mating mixed in with the sounds of a dying giraffe. All the dancers start collapsing from the awful sounds, and you're reaching the limits of your endurance as well! What's going on here?? You have to stop that DJ before he destroys everyone with this godawful music!
 	 	THE 'FRO 	20 	
 	You barely reach the record player, rip out the record, and smash it over your knee. The screech of the music stopping brings much needed relief... Until you realize, this was all a diversion! God dammit! The Taitor is perched on top of the shoulders of a guy with an impressive looking Afro, using the MacGuffins to smash the disco ball! The seal was inches above you this whole time!!!
With the disco seal broken, the Traitor hops backwards into a portal and ZWOOPS away while giving you the finger. All that's left is you, and the fro. Time to throw down on this fool. 	You barely reach the record player, rip out the record, and smash it over your knee. The screech of the music stopping brings much needed relief... Until you realize, this was all a diversion! God dammit! The Taitor is perched on top of the shoulders of a guy with an impressive looking Afro, using the MacGuffins to smash the disco ball! The seal was inches above you this whole time!!!
With the disco seal broken, the Traitor hops backwards into a portal and ZWOOPS away while giving you the finger. All that's left is you, and the fro. Time to throw down on this fool. 	You barely reach the record player, rip out the record, and smash it over your knee. The screech of the music stopping brings much needed relief... Until you realize, this was all a diversion! God dammit! The Taitor is perched on top of the shoulders of a guy with an impressive looking Afro, using the MacGuffins to smash the disco ball! The seal was inches above you this whole time!!!
With the disco seal broken, the Traitor hops backwards into a portal and ZWOOPS away while giving you the finger. All that's left is you, and the fro. Time to throw down on this fool. 	You barely reach the record player, rip out the record, and smash it over your knee. The screech of the music stopping brings much needed relief... Until you realize, this was all a diversion! God dammit! The Taitor is perched on top of the shoulders of a guy with an impressive looking Afro, using the MacGuffins to smash the disco ball! The seal was inches above you this whole time!!!
With the disco seal broken, the Traitor hops backwards into a portal and ZWOOPS away while giving you the finger. All that's left is you, and the fro. Time to throw down on this fool.
 	 	Ultra Instinct Stoner 	20 	
 	With 'fro-man defeated, you can't really do much here other than take the L and try to stop the Traitor at the next seal. You feel kinda bummed out.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the garage. It seems like the Traitor dispatched a couple more goons to figure out what happened to the first goon, and they immediately teleported into the insta kill zone. Now the poor slumped over body has two friends laying almost on top of him for company.
You dig a little deeper into the SHG's archives, trying to learn more about these seals. There's a lot of notes on the subject of time loops and multiverses that just make your brain turn itself off for protection. There's also something here about an ultimate being that is able to create and break time loops, but had its own power sealed away to prevent anyone from forcing it to do their will. Dude, that's some deep lore. More importantly, you have a lead on the location of another seal- that spooky manor you visited ages ago!
*ZWOOP*
You're back in the familiar creaky hallways and spooky shadows of this sorta-haunted halloween manor. You wonder why the Traitor didn't simply break the seal here when he had a chance, but oh yeah - he probably needed all the MacGuffins first. Plot hole fixed, you search around for any clues as to the location of this next seal. You enter a door to a previously unexplored section of the manor when you hear behind you "I knew you'd come back!"
You turn around and spot the stoner kid you beat up a few dozen bosses ago. He looks a lot more powerful than you remember.. and he's smirking too. Not a good sign.
"Dig my new looks? Let's just say I've like, levelled up a lot since last we fought. You're about to go down for good this time!!" The stoner erupts in a blue aura of raw power, and flies at you!! 	With 'fro-man defeated, you can't really do much here other than take the L and try to stop the Traitor at the next seal. You feel kinda bummed out.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the garage. It seems like the Traitor dispatched a couple more goons to figure out what happened to the first goon, and they immediately teleported into the insta kill zone. Now the poor slumped over body has two friends laying almost on top of him for company.
You dig a little deeper into the SHG's archives, trying to learn more about these seals. There's a lot of notes on the subject of time loops and multiverses that just make your brain turn itself off for protection. There's also something here about an ultimate being that is able to create and break time loops, but had its own power sealed away to prevent anyone from forcing it to do their will. Dude, that's some deep lore. More importantly, you have a lead on the location of another seal- that spooky manor you visited ages ago!
*ZWOOP*
You're back in the familiar creaky hallways and spooky shadows of this sorta-haunted halloween manor. You wonder why the Traitor didn't simply break the seal here when he had a chance, but oh yeah - he probably needed all the MacGuffins first. Plot hole fixed, you search around for any clues as to the location of this next seal. You enter a door to a previously unexplored section of the manor when you hear behind you "I knew you'd come back!"
You turn around and spot the stoner kid you beat up a few dozen bosses ago. He looks a lot more powerful than you remember.. and he's smirking too. Not a good sign.
"Dig my new looks? Let's just say I've like, levelled up a lot since last we fought. You're about to go down for good this time!!" The stoner erupts in a blue aura of raw power, and flies at you!! 	With 'fro-man defeated, you can't really do much here other than take the L and try to stop the Traitor at the next seal. You feel kinda bummed out.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the garage. It seems like the Traitor dispatched a couple more goons to figure out what happened to the first goon, and they immediately teleported into the insta kill zone. Now the poor slumped over body has two friends laying almost on top of him for company.
You dig a little deeper into the SHG's archives, trying to learn more about these seals. There's a lot of notes on the subject of time loops and multiverses that just make your brain turn itself off for protection. There's also something here about an ultimate being that is able to create and break time loops, but had its own power sealed away to prevent anyone from forcing it to do their will. Dude, that's some deep lore. More importantly, you have a lead on the location of another seal- that spooky manor you visited ages ago!
*ZWOOP*
You're back in the familiar creaky hallways and spooky shadows of this sorta-haunted halloween manor. You wonder why the Traitor didn't simply break the seal here when he had a chance, but oh yeah - he probably needed all the MacGuffins first. Plot hole fixed, you search around for any clues as to the location of this next seal. You enter a door to a previously unexplored section of the manor when you hear behind you "I knew you'd come back!"
You turn around and spot the stoner kid you beat up a few dozen bosses ago. He looks a lot more powerful than you remember.. and he's smirking too. Not a good sign.
"Dig my new looks? Let's just say I've like, levelled up a lot since last we fought. You're about to go down for good this time!!" The stoner erupts in a blue aura of raw power, and flies at you!! 	With 'fro-man defeated, you can't really do much here other than take the L and try to stop the Traitor at the next seal. You feel kinda bummed out.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the garage. It seems like the Traitor dispatched a couple more goons to figure out what happened to the first goon, and they immediately teleported into the insta kill zone. Now the poor slumped over body has two friends laying almost on top of him for company.
You dig a little deeper into the SHG's archives, trying to learn more about these seals. There's a lot of notes on the subject of time loops and multiverses that just make your brain turn itself off for protection. There's also something here about an ultimate being that is able to create and break time loops, but had its own power sealed away to prevent anyone from forcing it to do their will. Dude, that's some deep lore. More importantly, you have a lead on the location of another seal- that spooky manor you visited ages ago!
*ZWOOP*
You're back in the familiar creaky hallways and spooky shadows of this sorta-haunted halloween manor. You wonder why the Traitor didn't simply break the seal here when he had a chance, but oh yeah - he probably needed all the MacGuffins first. Plot hole fixed, you search around for any clues as to the location of this next seal. You enter a door to a previously unexplored section of the manor when you hear behind you "I knew you'd come back!"
You turn around and spot the stoner kid you beat up a few dozen bosses ago. He looks a lot more powerful than you remember.. and he's smirking too. Not a good sign.
"Dig my new looks? Let's just say I've like, levelled up a lot since last we fought. You're about to go down for good this time!!" The stoner erupts in a blue aura of raw power, and flies at you!!
 	 	A Skeleton Inside a Body 	20 	Vitruvian Man
 	You throw the stoner across the room and a section of the house collapse on top, the blow glow within fading to nothing. Satisfied with your work, you step over the rubble and check out what's a head. Opening a closet door, you're spooked by not just a skeleton, but a skeleton INSIDE A BODY. That's like 50% more spooky. 	You throw the stoner across the room and a section of the house collapse on top, the blow glow within fading to nothing. Satisfied with your work, you step over the rubble and check out what's a head. Opening a closet door, you're spooked by not just a skeleton, but a skeleton INSIDE A BODY. That's like 50% more spooky. 	You throw the stoner across the room and a section of the house collapse on top, the blow glow within fading to nothing. Satisfied with your work, you step over the rubble and check out what's a head. Opening a closet door, you're spooked by not just a skeleton, but a skeleton INSIDE A BODY. That's like 50% more spooky. 	You throw the stoner across the room and a section of the house collapse on top, the blow glow within fading to nothing. Satisfied with your work, you step over the rubble and check out what's a head. Opening a closet door, you're spooked by not just a skeleton, but a skeleton INSIDE A BODY. That's like 50% more spooky.
 	 	A Badly Made Sexy Florida Costume 	20 	
 	You shove the skeleton back in the closet, and slam the door shut. Good riddance.
Up ahead at the end of the hallway you see an elevator, which is an encouraging sign! In your haste to reach it, you get spooked and crash into a lumpy shape emerging from a side-door. Is that meant to be a halloween costume? It looks like two duct-taped matresses!
This proves your eyes work fine because that's basically what it is. 	You shove the skeleton back in the closet, and slam the door shut. Good riddance.
Up ahead at the end of the hallway you see an elevator, which is an encouraging sign! In your haste to reach it, you get spooked and crash into a lumpy shape emerging from a side-door. Is that meant to be a halloween costume? It looks like two duct-taped matresses!
This proves your eyes work fine because that's basically what it is. 	You shove the skeleton back in the closet, and slam the door shut. Good riddance.
Up ahead at the end of the hallway you see an elevator, which is an encouraging sign! In your haste to reach it, you get spooked and crash into a lumpy shape emerging from a side-door. Is that meant to be a halloween costume? It looks like two duct-taped matresses!
This proves your eyes work fine because that's basically what it is. 	You shove the skeleton back in the closet, and slam the door shut. Good riddance.
Up ahead at the end of the hallway you see an elevator, which is an encouraging sign! In your haste to reach it, you get spooked and crash into a lumpy shape emerging from a side-door. Is that meant to be a halloween costume? It looks like two duct-taped matresses!
This proves your eyes work fine because that's basically what it is.
 	 	An Unnecessary Sequel 	20 	
 	Costume dismantled, you continue on your way. You skid to a stop in front of the elevator, but to your dismay, you see it's in use right now! Dammit! You need to do something to kill time while it arrives on your floor. Hey, is that a poster stuck on the wall to the left? 	Costume dismantled, you continue on your way. You skid to a stop in front of the elevator, but to your dismay, you see it's in use right now! Dammit! You need to do something to kill time while it arrives on your floor. Hey, is that a poster stuck on the wall to the left? 	Costume dismantled, you continue on your way. You skid to a stop in front of the elevator, but to your dismay, you see it's in use right now! Dammit! You need to do something to kill time while it arrives on your floor. Hey, is that a poster stuck on the wall to the left? 	Costume dismantled, you continue on your way. You skid to a stop in front of the elevator, but to your dismay, you see it's in use right now! Dammit! You need to do something to kill time while it arrives on your floor. Hey, is that a poster stuck on the wall to the left?
 	 	An Elevator Full of Blood 	20 	
The Shining
 	You take out a marker and draw all sorts of rude and silly things over the poster, making it about 7.5% more ridiculous than it was already. As you stash the marker away, you hear a loud *DING*. Ah good, the elevator's here!
As the elevator doors screech open, 450 gallons of blood decides to step off at this floor, taking you with it! BLARWHHARRRRGGEERDGBLE! 	You take out a marker and draw all sorts of rude and silly things over the poster, making it about 7.5% more ridiculous than it was already. As you stash the marker away, you hear a loud *DING*. Ah good, the elevator's here!
As the elevator doors screech open, 450 gallons of blood decides to step off at this floor, taking you with it! BLARWHHARRRRGGEERDGBLE! 	You take out a marker and draw all sorts of rude and silly things over the poster, making it about 7.5% more ridiculous than it was already. As you stash the marker away, you hear a loud *DING*. Ah good, the elevator's here!
As the elevator doors screech open, 450 gallons of blood decides to step off at this floor, taking you with it! BLARWHHARRRRGGEERDGBLE! 	You take out a marker and draw all sorts of rude and silly things over the poster, making it about 7.5% more ridiculous than it was already. As you stash the marker away, you hear a loud *DING*. Ah good, the elevator's here!
As the elevator doors screech open, 450 gallons of blood decides to step off at this floor, taking you with it! BLARWHHARRRRGGEERDGBLE!
 	 	Candy Corn 	20 	
 	You frantically try to swim backwards through the blood, like some sort of gory feature on national geographic about the migration rituals of salmon.
You eventually overcome the tidal wave of blood, scramble back into the elevator, and pound the floor button marked 'B2'. The doors creak shut, and the elevator shudders, moving downwards. Phew.
*DING*
The elevator doors grind open again at floor B-1, where a handful of disgusting, awful, no good candy corn hops on beside you. EURGH!! You have a phobia for horrible halloween candy!! 	You frantically try to swim backwards through the blood, like some sort of gory feature on national geographic about the migration rituals of salmon.
You eventually overcome the tidal wave of blood, scramble back into the elevator, and pound the floor button marked 'B2'. The doors creak shut, and the elevator shudders, moving downwards. Phew.
*DING*
The elevator doors grind open again at floor B-1, where a handful of disgusting, awful, no good candy corn hops on beside you. EURGH!! You have a phobia for horrible halloween candy!! 	You frantically try to swim backwards through the blood, like some sort of gory feature on national geographic about the migration rituals of salmon.
You eventually overcome the tidal wave of blood, scramble back into the elevator, and pound the floor button marked 'B2'. The doors creak shut, and the elevator shudders, moving downwards. Phew.
*DING*
The elevator doors grind open again at floor B-1, where a handful of disgusting, awful, no good candy corn hops on beside you. EURGH!! You have a phobia for horrible halloween candy!! 	You frantically try to swim backwards through the blood, like some sort of gory feature on national geographic about the migration rituals of salmon.
You eventually overcome the tidal wave of blood, scramble back into the elevator, and pound the floor button marked 'B2'. The doors creak shut, and the elevator shudders, moving downwards. Phew.
*DING*
The elevator doors grind open again at floor B-1, where a handful of disgusting, awful, no good candy corn hops on beside you. EURGH!! You have a phobia for horrible halloween candy!!
 	 	TEXAS CHAINSAW MASCARA 	20 	Texas Chain Saw Massacre
 	You crush the subpar halloween treats and kick them over into the corner of the elevator.
*DING*
You've finally arrived at floor B-2. Stepping off, you hear the whirr of some machinery mixed with a soft pulsing noise. I'll leave it up to your imagination to create those sounds in your head. I haven't added sound to the game and I'm not about to now.
As you step into yet another generic hallway, you figure out the source of one of the noises at least. What might be your most anime-yet-terrifying foe yet, it's the Texas Chainsaw Mascara! 	You crush the subpar halloween treats and kick them over into the corner of the elevator.
*DING*
You've finally arrived at floor B-2. Stepping off, you hear the whirr of some machinery mixed with a soft pulsing noise. I'll leave it up to your imagination to create those sounds in your head. I haven't added sound to the game and I'm not about to now.
As you step into yet another generic hallway, you figure out the source of one of the noises at least. What might be your most anime-yet-terrifying foe yet, it's the Texas Chainsaw Mascara! 	You crush the subpar halloween treats and kick them over into the corner of the elevator.
*DING*
You've finally arrived at floor B-2. Stepping off, you hear the whirr of some machinery mixed with a soft pulsing noise. I'll leave it up to your imagination to create those sounds in your head. I haven't added sound to the game and I'm not about to now.
As you step into yet another generic hallway, you figure out the source of one of the noises at least. What might be your most anime-yet-terrifying foe yet, it's the Texas Chainsaw Mascara! 	You crush the subpar halloween treats and kick them over into the corner of the elevator.
*DING*
You've finally arrived at floor B-2. Stepping off, you hear the whirr of some machinery mixed with a soft pulsing noise. I'll leave it up to your imagination to create those sounds in your head. I haven't added sound to the game and I'm not about to now.
As you step into yet another generic hallway, you figure out the source of one of the noises at least. What might be your most anime-yet-terrifying foe yet, it's the Texas Chainsaw Mascara!
 	 	JIGSAW 	21 	Saw franchise
 	I'm not going to describe how you defeated the chainsaw anime girl, but it was pretty awful, you monster. At the end of the hallway,  you see it opens up to a massive yet grungy=looking room. In the middle rests a giant brain in a jar!!! Every seconds or so it throbs and you hear that pulsing noise reverberate through the entire manor. Your thoughts feel clouded too...
And on schedule, the Traitor walks out from behind the giant brain with his hands behind his back, like a douchebag. "Always too late, my friend... let's see how you handle THIS!!" A giant flash of lightning erupts from his hands, blinding you like a flashbang. It takes a hot-m,inute to adjust your eyes and you see...
A tiny puzzle piece on the ground.
"HAHAHAHAHA!! You'll never figure out how to solve this!" You lean down and examine the piece thoroughly - it looks like it's almost entirely a sky-blue colour. You have no idea where it could go. And to what puzzle? Shaking off your confusion, you notice this room is lined with puzzles on all the bookshelves. Oh dear god no. The traitor gets to work on breaking the brain-seal as you thrust yourself into solving the world's trickiest puzzle! 	I'm not going to describe how you defeated the chainsaw anime girl, but it was pretty awful, you monster. At the end of the hallway,  you see it opens up to a massive yet grungy=looking room. In the middle rests a giant brain in a jar!!! Every seconds or so it throbs and you hear that pulsing noise reverberate through the entire manor. Your thoughts feel clouded too...
And on schedule, the Traitor walks out from behind the giant brain with his hands behind his back, like a douchebag. "Always too late, my friend... let's see how you handle THIS!!" A giant flash of lightning erupts from his hands, blinding you like a flashbang. It takes a hot-m,inute to adjust your eyes and you see...
A tiny puzzle piece on the ground.
"HAHAHAHAHA!! You'll never figure out how to solve this!" You lean down and examine the piece thoroughly - it looks like it's almost entirely a sky-blue colour. You have no idea where it could go. And to what puzzle? Shaking off your confusion, you notice this room is lined with puzzles on all the bookshelves. Oh dear god no. The traitor gets to work on breaking the brain-seal as you thrust yourself into solving the world's trickiest puzzle! 	I'm not going to describe how you defeated the chainsaw anime girl, but it was pretty awful, you monster. At the end of the hallway,  you see it opens up to a massive yet grungy=looking room. In the middle rests a giant brain in a jar!!! Every seconds or so it throbs and you hear that pulsing noise reverberate through the entire manor. Your thoughts feel clouded too...
And on schedule, the Traitor walks out from behind the giant brain with his hands behind his back, like a douchebag. "Always too late, my friend... let's see how you handle THIS!!" A giant flash of lightning erupts from his hands, blinding you like a flashbang. It takes a hot-m,inute to adjust your eyes and you see...
A tiny puzzle piece on the ground.
"HAHAHAHAHA!! You'll never figure out how to solve this!" You lean down and examine the piece thoroughly - it looks like it's almost entirely a sky-blue colour. You have no idea where it could go. And to what puzzle? Shaking off your confusion, you notice this room is lined with puzzles on all the bookshelves. Oh dear god no. The traitor gets to work on breaking the brain-seal as you thrust yourself into solving the world's trickiest puzzle! 	I'm not going to describe how you defeated the chainsaw anime girl, but it was pretty awful, you monster. At the end of the hallway,  you see it opens up to a massive yet grungy=looking room. In the middle rests a giant brain in a jar!!! Every seconds or so it throbs and you hear that pulsing noise reverberate through the entire manor. Your thoughts feel clouded too...
And on schedule, the Traitor walks out from behind the giant brain with his hands behind his back, like a douchebag. "Always too late, my friend... let's see how you handle THIS!!" A giant flash of lightning erupts from his hands, blinding you like a flashbang. It takes a hot-m,inute to adjust your eyes and you see...
A tiny puzzle piece on the ground.
"HAHAHAHAHA!! You'll never figure out how to solve this!" You lean down and examine the piece thoroughly - it looks like it's almost entirely a sky-blue colour. You have no idea where it could go. And to what puzzle? Shaking off your confusion, you notice this room is lined with puzzles on all the bookshelves. Oh dear god no. The traitor gets to work on breaking the brain-seal as you thrust yourself into solving the world's trickiest puzzle!
 	 	A Construction Slob 	21 	
 	It takes all of your brainpower, and also pounding the piece into place a few times with your fists, but you solve the puzzle! Hooray!
Looking up, you realize the traitor has completely destroyed the seal and has moved on, leaving you completely alone. Oh.
*ZWOOP*
To keep your mind off your recent embarassment, you dig through... Sloopo's?... secret lab once again, looking for more clues. You're still getting used to learning Spiky Haired Guy's real name, It's going to take some adjustment. You finally find another seal's location - it sounds like a land of construction, whatever that means! Suddenly you hear -
*ZZZZAP*
A sudden noise outside makes you jump! Dashing back to the main garage you find that - oh, the Tratior just sent another 4 goons to check up on the other missing guys and they of course, teleported right onto the insta-kill field. A few of the bodies are still twitching from the 500 giga-volt shock. All good! You grab your gear and -
*ZWOOP*
- You land in the middle of a half-constructed apartment building! Cranes overhead swing random girders through the air, which is abuzz with noises of burly construction guys doing uh, constructiony stuff.  One of the guys on the ground nearby notices you zwooping in and runs towards you:
"Hey! What the hells are youse doin' here!!"
Here you go again! 	It takes all of your brainpower, and also pounding the piece into place a few times with your fists, but you solve the puzzle! Hooray!
Looking up, you realize the traitor has completely destroyed the seal and has moved on, leaving you completely alone. Oh.
*ZWOOP*
To keep your mind off your recent embarassment, you dig through... Sloopo's?... secret lab once again, looking for more clues. You're still getting used to learning Spiky Haired Guy's real name, It's going to take some adjustment. You finally find another seal's location - it sounds like a land of construction, whatever that means! Suddenly you hear -
*ZZZZAP*
A sudden noise outside makes you jump! Dashing back to the main garage you find that - oh, the Tratior just sent another 4 goons to check up on the other missing guys and they of course, teleported right onto the insta-kill field. A few of the bodies are still twitching from the 500 giga-volt shock. All good! You grab your gear and -
*ZWOOP*
- You land in the middle of a half-constructed apartment building! Cranes overhead swing random girders through the air, which is abuzz with noises of burly construction guys doing uh, constructiony stuff.  One of the guys on the ground nearby notices you zwooping in and runs towards you:
"Hey! What the hells are youse doin' here!!"
Here you go again! 	It takes all of your brainpower, and also pounding the piece into place a few times with your fists, but you solve the puzzle! Hooray!
Looking up, you realize the traitor has completely destroyed the seal and has moved on, leaving you completely alone. Oh.
*ZWOOP*
To keep your mind off your recent embarassment, you dig through... Sloopo's?... secret lab once again, looking for more clues. You're still getting used to learning Spiky Haired Guy's real name, It's going to take some adjustment. You finally find another seal's location - it sounds like a land of construction, whatever that means! Suddenly you hear -
*ZZZZAP*
A sudden noise outside makes you jump! Dashing back to the main garage you find that - oh, the Tratior just sent another 4 goons to check up on the other missing guys and they of course, teleported right onto the insta-kill field. A few of the bodies are still twitching from the 500 giga-volt shock. All good! You grab your gear and -
*ZWOOP*
- You land in the middle of a half-constructed apartment building! Cranes overhead swing random girders through the air, which is abuzz with noises of burly construction guys doing uh, constructiony stuff.  One of the guys on the ground nearby notices you zwooping in and runs towards you:
"Hey! What the hells are youse doin' here!!"
Here you go again! 	It takes all of your brainpower, and also pounding the piece into place a few times with your fists, but you solve the puzzle! Hooray!
Looking up, you realize the traitor has completely destroyed the seal and has moved on, leaving you completely alone. Oh.
*ZWOOP*
To keep your mind off your recent embarassment, you dig through... Sloopo's?... secret lab once again, looking for more clues. You're still getting used to learning Spiky Haired Guy's real name, It's going to take some adjustment. You finally find another seal's location - it sounds like a land of construction, whatever that means! Suddenly you hear -
*ZZZZAP*
A sudden noise outside makes you jump! Dashing back to the main garage you find that - oh, the Tratior just sent another 4 goons to check up on the other missing guys and they of course, teleported right onto the insta-kill field. A few of the bodies are still twitching from the 500 giga-volt shock. All good! You grab your gear and -
*ZWOOP*
- You land in the middle of a half-constructed apartment building! Cranes overhead swing random girders through the air, which is abuzz with noises of burly construction guys doing uh, constructiony stuff.  One of the guys on the ground nearby notices you zwooping in and runs towards you:
"Hey! What the hells are youse doin' here!!"
Here you go again!
 	 	Quicksand Cement 	21 	
 	You and the construction worker sit down and work out your differences with your words, and by that I mean you beat the snot out of him and move on.
This construction site is an absolute flurry of activity, you're really unsure where this seal could be amidst all the work being done. You take a moment to walk around the site to get your bearings when...
*SHLUMP*
You walk right on top of a pit of wet cement, conveniently placed in your path! But this isn't ordinary cement, this is uhhhh, quicksand-cement! Yeah! I definitely didn't make that up and look, it's quickly engulfing you!! WHARRGARBLEFARBLESDFGDSSSSDS!! 	You and the construction worker sit down and work out your differences with your words, and by that I mean you beat the snot out of him and move on.
This construction site is an absolute flurry of activity, you're really unsure where this seal could be amidst all the work being done. You take a moment to walk around the site to get your bearings when...
*SHLUMP*
You walk right on top of a pit of wet cement, conveniently placed in your path! But this isn't ordinary cement, this is uhhhh, quicksand-cement! Yeah! I definitely didn't make that up and look, it's quickly engulfing you!! WHARRGARBLEFARBLESDFGDSSSSDS!! 	You and the construction worker sit down and work out your differences with your words, and by that I mean you beat the snot out of him and move on.
This construction site is an absolute flurry of activity, you're really unsure where this seal could be amidst all the work being done. You take a moment to walk around the site to get your bearings when...
*SHLUMP*
You walk right on top of a pit of wet cement, conveniently placed in your path! But this isn't ordinary cement, this is uhhhh, quicksand-cement! Yeah! I definitely didn't make that up and look, it's quickly engulfing you!! WHARRGARBLEFARBLESDFGDSSSSDS!! 	You and the construction worker sit down and work out your differences with your words, and by that I mean you beat the snot out of him and move on.
This construction site is an absolute flurry of activity, you're really unsure where this seal could be amidst all the work being done. You take a moment to walk around the site to get your bearings when...
*SHLUMP*
You walk right on top of a pit of wet cement, conveniently placed in your path! But this isn't ordinary cement, this is uhhhh, quicksand-cement! Yeah! I definitely didn't make that up and look, it's quickly engulfing you!! WHARRGARBLEFARBLESDFGDSSSSDS!!
 	 	A Cement Truck 	21 	
 	A few well place judo chops and the quick-cement is defeated! The pit quickly spits you out, leaving you smothered in heavy cement - you even have a bit up your nostrils. Sufficiently pissed off, you search for who created this pit. It becomes very obvious when you spot a cement truck some 50 feet away, filling up another pit! Revenge will be had, at your hands!! 	A few well place judo chops and the quick-cement is defeated! The pit quickly spits you out, leaving you smothered in heavy cement - you even have a bit up your nostrils. Sufficiently pissed off, you search for who created this pit. It becomes very obvious when you spot a cement truck some 50 feet away, filling up another pit! Revenge will be had, at your hands!! 	A few well place judo chops and the quick-cement is defeated! The pit quickly spits you out, leaving you smothered in heavy cement - you even have a bit up your nostrils. Sufficiently pissed off, you search for who created this pit. It becomes very obvious when you spot a cement truck some 50 feet away, filling up another pit! Revenge will be had, at your hands!! 	A few well place judo chops and the quick-cement is defeated! The pit quickly spits you out, leaving you smothered in heavy cement - you even have a bit up your nostrils. Sufficiently pissed off, you search for who created this pit. It becomes very obvious when you spot a cement truck some 50 feet away, filling up another pit! Revenge will be had, at your hands!!
 	 	A Bulldozer 	21 	
 	You take out your frustration on the cement truck for a bit, leaving it a mangled heap of metal and cement. Almost immediately, a bulldozer rolls by and starts to clean up the mess! For some reason you take even more offense to that, and vow to end this bulldozer too. 	You take out your frustration on the cement truck for a bit, leaving it a mangled heap of metal and cement. Almost immediately, a bulldozer rolls by and starts to clean up the mess! For some reason you take even more offense to that, and vow to end this bulldozer too. 	You take out your frustration on the cement truck for a bit, leaving it a mangled heap of metal and cement. Almost immediately, a bulldozer rolls by and starts to clean up the mess! For some reason you take even more offense to that, and vow to end this bulldozer too. 	You take out your frustration on the cement truck for a bit, leaving it a mangled heap of metal and cement. Almost immediately, a bulldozer rolls by and starts to clean up the mess! For some reason you take even more offense to that, and vow to end this bulldozer too.
 	 	3 Guys Carrying a Beam 	21 	
 	You tussle with the bulldozer until it makes a ill-fated charge, and your grasp the front with the bulldozer firmly, lift it off the ground, spin around a few times and HURL the sucker straight into the sun. With that finally settled, you can take a moment to look around for this damned Seal.
After a while, your movement feels somehow slower, and you feel exhausted... oh crap! you forgot about the cement, now almost completely dry!
It takes some work, but you manage to bang your arms against a half-built wall until it's freed, allowing you to chip away at the rest of the cement. When you're just about finished, three guys hefting an inconveniently-long wooden beam walk by and laugh at your misfortune.
"Hey fellas look, another victim of the quicksand cement! What an dummy, hahahaha!"
Big mistake. 	You tussle with the bulldozer until it makes a ill-fated charge, and your grasp the front with the bulldozer firmly, lift it off the ground, spin around a few times and HURL the sucker straight into the sun. With that finally settled, you can take a moment to look around for this damned Seal.
After a while, your movement feels somehow slower, and you feel exhausted... oh crap! you forgot about the cement, now almost completely dry!
It takes some work, but you manage to bang your arms against a half-built wall until it's freed, allowing you to chip away at the rest of the cement. When you're just about finished, three guys hefting an inconveniently-long wooden beam walk by and laugh at your misfortune.
"Hey fellas look, another victim of the quicksand cement! What an dummy, hahahaha!"
Big mistake. 	You tussle with the bulldozer until it makes a ill-fated charge, and your grasp the front with the bulldozer firmly, lift it off the ground, spin around a few times and HURL the sucker straight into the sun. With that finally settled, you can take a moment to look around for this damned Seal.
After a while, your movement feels somehow slower, and you feel exhausted... oh crap! you forgot about the cement, now almost completely dry!
It takes some work, but you manage to bang your arms against a half-built wall until it's freed, allowing you to chip away at the rest of the cement. When you're just about finished, three guys hefting an inconveniently-long wooden beam walk by and laugh at your misfortune.
"Hey fellas look, another victim of the quicksand cement! What an dummy, hahahaha!"
Big mistake. 	You tussle with the bulldozer until it makes a ill-fated charge, and your grasp the front with the bulldozer firmly, lift it off the ground, spin around a few times and HURL the sucker straight into the sun. With that finally settled, you can take a moment to look around for this damned Seal.
After a while, your movement feels somehow slower, and you feel exhausted... oh crap! you forgot about the cement, now almost completely dry!
It takes some work, but you manage to bang your arms against a half-built wall until it's freed, allowing you to chip away at the rest of the cement. When you're just about finished, three guys hefting an inconveniently-long wooden beam walk by and laugh at your misfortune.
"Hey fellas look, another victim of the quicksand cement! What an dummy, hahahaha!"
Big mistake.
 	 	A Piano-Safe 	21 	
 	You manage to beat up and tie each guys' arms into a knot around the beam with some difficulty. Apparently, bones weren't meant to form a knot around themselves. Oh well!
You see a ramp leading into the interiors of this building, which seems like a likely place to go looking for the next seal. As you make your way over, you hear an odd high pitched noise from overhead. Looking up, you see some weird black smudge... growing bigger...
*WHAM*
Before you can react, You're hit with an astoudingly painful force and buried 3 feet into the ground! Urgh.. Once you get back to grips with reality, you see what hit you - a giant concert piano duct-taped to a metal safe. They lie in a half-broken heap to the side. Time to fully break them, then! 	You manage to beat up and tie each guys' arms into a knot around the beam with some difficulty. Apparently, bones weren't meant to form a knot around themselves. Oh well!
You see a ramp leading into the interiors of this building, which seems like a likely place to go looking for the next seal. As you make your way over, you hear an odd high pitched noise from overhead. Looking up, you see some weird black smudge... growing bigger...
*WHAM*
Before you can react, You're hit with an astoudingly painful force and buried 3 feet into the ground! Urgh.. Once you get back to grips with reality, you see what hit you - a giant concert piano duct-taped to a metal safe. They lie in a half-broken heap to the side. Time to fully break them, then! 	You manage to beat up and tie each guys' arms into a knot around the beam with some difficulty. Apparently, bones weren't meant to form a knot around themselves. Oh well!
You see a ramp leading into the interiors of this building, which seems like a likely place to go looking for the next seal. As you make your way over, you hear an odd high pitched noise from overhead. Looking up, you see some weird black smudge... growing bigger...
*WHAM*
Before you can react, You're hit with an astoudingly painful force and buried 3 feet into the ground! Urgh.. Once you get back to grips with reality, you see what hit you - a giant concert piano duct-taped to a metal safe. They lie in a half-broken heap to the side. Time to fully break them, then! 	You manage to beat up and tie each guys' arms into a knot around the beam with some difficulty. Apparently, bones weren't meant to form a knot around themselves. Oh well!
You see a ramp leading into the interiors of this building, which seems like a likely place to go looking for the next seal. As you make your way over, you hear an odd high pitched noise from overhead. Looking up, you see some weird black smudge... growing bigger...
*WHAM*
Before you can react, You're hit with an astoudingly painful force and buried 3 feet into the ground! Urgh.. Once you get back to grips with reality, you see what hit you - a giant concert piano duct-taped to a metal safe. They lie in a half-broken heap to the side. Time to fully break them, then!
 	 	7 GUYS TAKING A BREAK 	21 	Lunch atop a Skyscraper photo
 	You stuff the broken piano bits inside the safe, and send it off to meet the bulldozer. Heading into the half-finished guts of the building, you still don't see anything promising that could be a seal. You head up the stairs, carefully seaching each floor... 20. 30... 80... jeez. it's like that time you ran naked up a tower for no particular reason. Around floor 95 you can feel the wind assaulting you, and the open sky again - looks like this is the furthest they've built!
You spot a really odd sight at the other end of the unfinished floor - about 7 guys taking a lunch break, sitting on the edge of a precariously stuck-out girder. You shout out to them, asking if they've seen any sort of Seal anywhere. With the wind whipping around them, they've mistaken your question as a insult against all their mothers simultaneously. They're all getting back up on their feet, ready for a fight. 	You stuff the broken piano bits inside the safe, and send it off to meet the bulldozer. Heading into the half-finished guts of the building, you still don't see anything promising that could be a seal. You head up the stairs, carefully seaching each floor... 20. 30... 80... jeez. it's like that time you ran naked up a tower for no particular reason. Around floor 95 you can feel the wind assaulting you, and the open sky again - looks like this is the furthest they've built!
You spot a really odd sight at the other end of the unfinished floor - about 7 guys taking a lunch break, sitting on the edge of a precariously stuck-out girder. You shout out to them, asking if they've seen any sort of Seal anywhere. With the wind whipping around them, they've mistaken your question as a insult against all their mothers simultaneously. They're all getting back up on their feet, ready for a fight. 	You stuff the broken piano bits inside the safe, and send it off to meet the bulldozer. Heading into the half-finished guts of the building, you still don't see anything promising that could be a seal. You head up the stairs, carefully seaching each floor... 20. 30... 80... jeez. it's like that time you ran naked up a tower for no particular reason. Around floor 95 you can feel the wind assaulting you, and the open sky again - looks like this is the furthest they've built!
You spot a really odd sight at the other end of the unfinished floor - about 7 guys taking a lunch break, sitting on the edge of a precariously stuck-out girder. You shout out to them, asking if they've seen any sort of Seal anywhere. With the wind whipping around them, they've mistaken your question as a insult against all their mothers simultaneously. They're all getting back up on their feet, ready for a fight. 	You stuff the broken piano bits inside the safe, and send it off to meet the bulldozer. Heading into the half-finished guts of the building, you still don't see anything promising that could be a seal. You head up the stairs, carefully seaching each floor... 20. 30... 80... jeez. it's like that time you ran naked up a tower for no particular reason. Around floor 95 you can feel the wind assaulting you, and the open sky again - looks like this is the furthest they've built!
You spot a really odd sight at the other end of the unfinished floor - about 7 guys taking a lunch break, sitting on the edge of a precariously stuck-out girder. You shout out to them, asking if they've seen any sort of Seal anywhere. With the wind whipping around them, they've mistaken your question as a insult against all their mothers simultaneously. They're all getting back up on their feet, ready for a fight.
 	 	THE CRANE 	21 	
 	During your fight you push the guys closer to the end of the girder and then, taking a step back, perform an almighty stomp on it,
*SPROING*
... and springboard them all off the building to their doom. If it helps you process your grief, imagine a very cartoony whistle as they fall. It'll help. Now you're all alone, at the top of this unfinished skyscraper with no Seal in sight. You were so sure it'd be up here somewhere.....
*WHAM*
A giant section of wall explodes into a million rocky chunks right beside you, holy crap! And the source of this destruction? A massive wrecking ball, operated via crane by none other than the Traitor! If you weren't so focused on not dying, you'd hear the maniacal laughter coming from him as he pulls the crane back for another swing, aimed right at you! 	During your fight you push the guys closer to the end of the girder and then, taking a step back, perform an almighty stomp on it,
*SPROING*
... and springboard them all off the building to their doom. If it helps you process your grief, imagine a very cartoony whistle as they fall. It'll help. Now you're all alone, at the top of this unfinished skyscraper with no Seal in sight. You were so sure it'd be up here somewhere.....
*WHAM*
A giant section of wall explodes into a million rocky chunks right beside you, holy crap! And the source of this destruction? A massive wrecking ball, operated via crane by none other than the Traitor! If you weren't so focused on not dying, you'd hear the maniacal laughter coming from him as he pulls the crane back for another swing, aimed right at you! 	During your fight you push the guys closer to the end of the girder and then, taking a step back, perform an almighty stomp on it,
*SPROING*
... and springboard them all off the building to their doom. If it helps you process your grief, imagine a very cartoony whistle as they fall. It'll help. Now you're all alone, at the top of this unfinished skyscraper with no Seal in sight. You were so sure it'd be up here somewhere.....
*WHAM*
A giant section of wall explodes into a million rocky chunks right beside you, holy crap! And the source of this destruction? A massive wrecking ball, operated via crane by none other than the Traitor! If you weren't so focused on not dying, you'd hear the maniacal laughter coming from him as he pulls the crane back for another swing, aimed right at you! 	During your fight you push the guys closer to the end of the girder and then, taking a step back, perform an almighty stomp on it,
*SPROING*
... and springboard them all off the building to their doom. If it helps you process your grief, imagine a very cartoony whistle as they fall. It'll help. Now you're all alone, at the top of this unfinished skyscraper with no Seal in sight. You were so sure it'd be up here somewhere.....
*WHAM*
A giant section of wall explodes into a million rocky chunks right beside you, holy crap! And the source of this destruction? A massive wrecking ball, operated via crane by none other than the Traitor! If you weren't so focused on not dying, you'd hear the maniacal laughter coming from him as he pulls the crane back for another swing, aimed right at you!
 	 	A Duck 	21 	
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: Contruction Zone. Eyy, I'm walking here!)
You keep dodging the wrecking ball blows as bit by bit the building gets demolished. What was once 95 floors is a giant pile of rubble, and the wrecking ball isn't looking so good either. Cracks are beginning to form all across the surface. As the traitor swings in the wrecking ball for one last almighty blow, you stop and realize that all this time, they haven't been aiming at you, really.
*SMASH*
The wrecking ball once again misses you by a few inches! With this final blow, the wrecking ball completely cracks open and falls to the ground, releasing a strangely powerful shockwave of ancient energy. Aw crap - the wrecking ball was the seal this whole time! The Taitor was playing games with you yet again, and you fell for it.
You look up to give the Traitor some well-deserved fist shakes, when you realize they've already peaced out :c. Nothing left for you to do but try to stop them at the next seal.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the ransacked garage, ashamed yet again in defeat. Speaking of defeat, it seems the Traitor sent a whole squad of like, 8 goons to check up on the other missing souls. The bodies are making quite a hefty pile in the instant-kill zone! Two of them even died in a way that it looks like one goon is touching the other one's junk. Teehee.
A quack trip to the computer in the lab, you duckscover the next seal location - Duckverse.
All Ducks. All Day. All of Existence. Ducks. Off you go now!
*QUACK*
When you first lay eyes on Duckverse, you're overwhelmed by the sheer density of duck-ness on display. Everything is ducks - the ground, the sky, the city off in the distance - all made for ducks, by ducks, maybe even of ducks? There's Real ducks, fake ducks, rubber ducks, you name it. It's not what it's quacked up to be.
You take a step, and hear a pained moan of existence that harkens you back to the days of the typw zone. ARGHHH! Looking down, you see the ground is literred with squeaky rubber chickens, except they're ducks. If you don't watch your step, a dozen overlapping wails of ducketry fire off, and there's nothing you can do about it. Except fly of course, but you seemed to have forgetten you got that ability back at boss 37 or so.
You head off in a random direction, trying your best to dodge the wails of duck agony. Before long, you encounter the first and most unexpected foe to cross your path. A duck. Good luck!	(You've unlocked a new zone: Contruction Zone. Eyy, I'm walking here!)
You keep dodging the wrecking ball blows as bit by bit the building gets demolished. What was once 95 floors is a giant pile of rubble, and the wrecking ball isn't looking so good either. Cracks are beginning to form all across the surface. As the traitor swings in the wrecking ball for one last almighty blow, you stop and realize that all this time, they haven't been aiming at you, really.
*SMASH*
The wrecking ball once again misses you by a few inches! With this final blow, the wrecking ball completely cracks open and falls to the ground, releasing a strangely powerful shockwave of ancient energy. Aw crap - the wrecking ball was the seal this whole time! The Taitor was playing games with you yet again, and you fell for it.
You look up to give the Traitor some well-deserved fist shakes, when you realize they've already peaced out :c. Nothing left for you to do but try to stop them at the next seal.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the ransacked garage, ashamed yet again in defeat. Speaking of defeat, it seems the Traitor sent a whole squad of like, 8 goons to check up on the other missing souls. The bodies are making quite a hefty pile in the instant-kill zone! Two of them even died in a way that it looks like one goon is touching the other one's junk. Teehee.
A quack trip to the computer in the lab, you duckscover the next seal location - Duckverse.
All Ducks. All Day. All of Existence. Ducks. Off you go now!
*QUACK*
When you first lay eyes on Duckverse, you're overwhelmed by the sheer density of duck-ness on display. Everything is ducks - the ground, the sky, the city off in the distance - all made for ducks, by ducks, maybe even of ducks? There's Real ducks, fake ducks, rubber ducks, you name it. It's not what it's quacked up to be.
You take a step, and hear a pained moan of existence that harkens you back to the days of the typw zone. ARGHHH! Looking down, you see the ground is literred with squeaky rubber chickens, except they're ducks. If you don't watch your step, a dozen overlapping wails of ducketry fire off, and there's nothing you can do about it. Except fly of course, but you seemed to have forgetten you got that ability back at boss 37 or so.
You head off in a random direction, trying your best to dodge the wails of duck agony. Before long, you encounter the first and most unexpected foe to cross your path. A duck. Good luck!	(You've unlocked a new zone: Contruction Zone. Eyy, I'm walking here!)
You keep dodging the wrecking ball blows as bit by bit the building gets demolished. What was once 95 floors is a giant pile of rubble, and the wrecking ball isn't looking so good either. Cracks are beginning to form all across the surface. As the traitor swings in the wrecking ball for one last almighty blow, you stop and realize that all this time, they haven't been aiming at you, really.
*SMASH*
The wrecking ball once again misses you by a few inches! With this final blow, the wrecking ball completely cracks open and falls to the ground, releasing a strangely powerful shockwave of ancient energy. Aw crap - the wrecking ball was the seal this whole time! The Taitor was playing games with you yet again, and you fell for it.
You look up to give the Traitor some well-deserved fist shakes, when you realize they've already peaced out :c. Nothing left for you to do but try to stop them at the next seal.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the ransacked garage, ashamed yet again in defeat. Speaking of defeat, it seems the Traitor sent a whole squad of like, 8 goons to check up on the other missing souls. The bodies are making quite a hefty pile in the instant-kill zone! Two of them even died in a way that it looks like one goon is touching the other one's junk. Teehee.
A quack trip to the computer in the lab, you duckscover the next seal location - Duckverse.
All Ducks. All Day. All of Existence. Ducks. Off you go now!
*QUACK*
When you first lay eyes on Duckverse, you're overwhelmed by the sheer density of duck-ness on display. Everything is ducks - the ground, the sky, the city off in the distance - all made for ducks, by ducks, maybe even of ducks? There's Real ducks, fake ducks, rubber ducks, you name it. It's not what it's quacked up to be.
You take a step, and hear a pained moan of existence that harkens you back to the days of the typw zone. ARGHHH! Looking down, you see the ground is literred with squeaky rubber chickens, except they're ducks. If you don't watch your step, a dozen overlapping wails of ducketry fire off, and there's nothing you can do about it. Except fly of course, but you seemed to have forgetten you got that ability back at boss 37 or so.
You head off in a random direction, trying your best to dodge the wails of duck agony. Before long, you encounter the first and most unexpected foe to cross your path. A duck. Good luck!	(You've unlocked a new zone: Contruction Zone. Eyy, I'm walking here!)
You keep dodging the wrecking ball blows as bit by bit the building gets demolished. What was once 95 floors is a giant pile of rubble, and the wrecking ball isn't looking so good either. Cracks are beginning to form all across the surface. As the traitor swings in the wrecking ball for one last almighty blow, you stop and realize that all this time, they haven't been aiming at you, really.
*SMASH*
The wrecking ball once again misses you by a few inches! With this final blow, the wrecking ball completely cracks open and falls to the ground, releasing a strangely powerful shockwave of ancient energy. Aw crap - the wrecking ball was the seal this whole time! The Taitor was playing games with you yet again, and you fell for it.
You look up to give the Traitor some well-deserved fist shakes, when you realize they've already peaced out :c. Nothing left for you to do but try to stop them at the next seal.
*ZWOOP*
You head back to the ransacked garage, ashamed yet again in defeat. Speaking of defeat, it seems the Traitor sent a whole squad of like, 8 goons to check up on the other missing souls. The bodies are making quite a hefty pile in the instant-kill zone! Two of them even died in a way that it looks like one goon is touching the other one's junk. Teehee.
A quack trip to the computer in the lab, you duckscover the next seal location - Duckverse.
All Ducks. All Day. All of Existence. Ducks. Off you go now!
*QUACK*
When you first lay eyes on Duckverse, you're overwhelmed by the sheer density of duck-ness on display. Everything is ducks - the ground, the sky, the city off in the distance - all made for ducks, by ducks, maybe even of ducks? There's Real ducks, fake ducks, rubber ducks, you name it. It's not what it's quacked up to be.
You take a step, and hear a pained moan of existence that harkens you back to the days of the typw zone. ARGHHH! Looking down, you see the ground is literred with squeaky rubber chickens, except they're ducks. If you don't watch your step, a dozen overlapping wails of ducketry fire off, and there's nothing you can do about it. Except fly of course, but you seemed to have forgetten you got that ability back at boss 37 or so.
You head off in a random direction, trying your best to dodge the wails of duck agony. Before long, you encounter the first and most unexpected foe to cross your path. A duck. Good luck!
 	 	Another Duck 	22 	
 	*QUAAAACK!*
You punt the annoying little duck across a nearby pond and take exactly 1 step, before another duck comes by to assult you! This zone isn't at all what it was quacked up to be!" 	*QUAAAACK!*
You punt the annoying little duck across a nearby pond and take exactly 1 step, before another duck comes by to assult you! This zone isn't at all what it was quacked up to be!" 	*QUAAAACK!*
You punt the annoying little duck across a nearby pond and take exactly 1 step, before another duck comes by to assult you! This zone isn't at all what it was quacked up to be!" 	*QUAAAACK!*
You punt the annoying little duck across a nearby pond and take exactly 1 step, before another duck comes by to assult you! This zone isn't at all what it was quacked up to be!"
 	 	...Goose! 	22 	
 	*QUAACK QUAAACK QUAAACK!*
You send the 2nd duck to go meet up with his friend across the nearby pond. Looking around, you manage to take exactly 2 more steps, before something else emerges from a nearby, duck shaped tree. But it's not a duck.. it's a Goose!
*HONK* 	*QUAACK QUAAACK QUAAACK!*
You send the 2nd duck to go meet up with his friend across the nearby pond. Looking around, you manage to take exactly 2 more steps, before something else emerges from a nearby, duck shaped tree. But it's not a duck.. it's a Goose!
*HONK* 	*QUAACK QUAAACK QUAAACK!*
You send the 2nd duck to go meet up with his friend across the nearby pond. Looking around, you manage to take exactly 2 more steps, before something else emerges from a nearby, duck shaped tree. But it's not a duck.. it's a Goose!
*HONK* 	*QUAACK QUAAACK QUAAACK!*
You send the 2nd duck to go meet up with his friend across the nearby pond. Looking around, you manage to take exactly 2 more steps, before something else emerges from a nearby, duck shaped tree. But it's not a duck.. it's a Goose!
*HONK*
 	 	Scientifically Accurate Duck 	22 	Duck, erm, anatomy
 	You spend a frantic minute chasing the goose around in a circle. Eventually, you manage to tackle it and lock it in a half nelson until it taps out. You thank the goose for the quick game of duck duck goose and shake its wing as you finally head on to the next Seal.
You eventually find the duckish ground slopes downwards to a valley, and inside, some sort of duck themed structure. Shocking, I know.
Carefully dodging all the Quacks in the ground, you make your descent. To your surpise, the structure at the bottom is an odd corkscrew slide! You want to give it a try but a special duck blocks your way to the top. 	You spend a frantic minute chasing the goose around in a circle. Eventually, you manage to tackle it and lock it in a half nelson until it taps out. You thank the goose for the quick game of duck duck goose and shake its wing as you finally head on to the next Seal.
You eventually find the duckish ground slopes downwards to a valley, and inside, some sort of duck themed structure. Shocking, I know.
Carefully dodging all the Quacks in the ground, you make your descent. To your surpise, the structure at the bottom is an odd corkscrew slide! You want to give it a try but a special duck blocks your way to the top. 	You spend a frantic minute chasing the goose around in a circle. Eventually, you manage to tackle it and lock it in a half nelson until it taps out. You thank the goose for the quick game of duck duck goose and shake its wing as you finally head on to the next Seal.
You eventually find the duckish ground slopes downwards to a valley, and inside, some sort of duck themed structure. Shocking, I know.
Carefully dodging all the Quacks in the ground, you make your descent. To your surpise, the structure at the bottom is an odd corkscrew slide! You want to give it a try but a special duck blocks your way to the top. 	You spend a frantic minute chasing the goose around in a circle. Eventually, you manage to tackle it and lock it in a half nelson until it taps out. You thank the goose for the quick game of duck duck goose and shake its wing as you finally head on to the next Seal.
You eventually find the duckish ground slopes downwards to a valley, and inside, some sort of duck themed structure. Shocking, I know.
Carefully dodging all the Quacks in the ground, you make your descent. To your surpise, the structure at the bottom is an odd corkscrew slide! You want to give it a try but a special duck blocks your way to the top.
 	 	A MotherDucker 	22 	
 	*QUAAAAAAAAAAAAACK*
One new duck-satellite for this world later, and you take a headfirst dive down the slide. Eurgh... the friction stops you halfway down! DISAPPOINTED!!!!!
You abandon the idea of having fun, and climb way back up the other side of the duck-valley and continue on. After a while, you notice there's a weird hum in the air. Looking up, you see one heck of a huge U.D.O - an Unidentified Duckish Object. It hovers over a nearby conveniently placed cow, and ABDUCKS it! Oh no! 	*QUAAAAAAAAAAAAACK*
One new duck-satellite for this world later, and you take a headfirst dive down the slide. Eurgh... the friction stops you halfway down! DISAPPOINTED!!!!!
You abandon the idea of having fun, and climb way back up the other side of the duck-valley and continue on. After a while, you notice there's a weird hum in the air. Looking up, you see one heck of a huge U.D.O - an Unidentified Duckish Object. It hovers over a nearby conveniently placed cow, and ABDUCKS it! Oh no! 	*QUAAAAAAAAAAAAACK*
One new duck-satellite for this world later, and you take a headfirst dive down the slide. Eurgh... the friction stops you halfway down! DISAPPOINTED!!!!!
You abandon the idea of having fun, and climb way back up the other side of the duck-valley and continue on. After a while, you notice there's a weird hum in the air. Looking up, you see one heck of a huge U.D.O - an Unidentified Duckish Object. It hovers over a nearby conveniently placed cow, and ABDUCKS it! Oh no! 	*QUAAAAAAAAAAAAACK*
One new duck-satellite for this world later, and you take a headfirst dive down the slide. Eurgh... the friction stops you halfway down! DISAPPOINTED!!!!!
You abandon the idea of having fun, and climb way back up the other side of the duck-valley and continue on. After a while, you notice there's a weird hum in the air. Looking up, you see one heck of a huge U.D.O - an Unidentified Duckish Object. It hovers over a nearby conveniently placed cow, and ABDUCKS it! Oh no!
 	 	Totally a Duck 	22 	
 	A Few well placed spitballs in critical joints in the UDO, and it breaks apart, spitting out a number of cows and ducks in the process. Because you don't give a damn, you move on and leave the ducks and cows to sort their problems out.
A little further down the path, you see another odd (presumably duck themed) structure. More importantly you also see an elephant. It seems to have tied a much-too-small duckbill onto the front of its trunk. Feeling uncharacteristically kind, you greet the Elephant and ask what an elephant is doing in a duck themed world.
The Elephant informs you that it is not an Elephant but infact, a duck.
You point out that the Elephant is about 20x taller, and 2,000-3,000 times the weight of a duck.
The Elephant insists that it's just a very big duck.
You point out that you can clearly see the string tying the duck bill to its trunk, not to mention that ducks don't have a trunk extending from the botton of their bills.
The Elephant angrily insists that it merely lost its bill in "the war", and that you are being very rude.
You also mention the shoddily-glued wings, where you can see it already starting to peel.
Now pissed off, the Elephant roars, lowers its head and charges at you! AHHHHHH! 	A Few well placed spitballs in critical joints in the UDO, and it breaks apart, spitting out a number of cows and ducks in the process. Because you don't give a damn, you move on and leave the ducks and cows to sort their problems out.
A little further down the path, you see another odd (presumably duck themed) structure. More importantly you also see an elephant. It seems to have tied a much-too-small duckbill onto the front of its trunk. Feeling uncharacteristically kind, you greet the Elephant and ask what an elephant is doing in a duck themed world.
The Elephant informs you that it is not an Elephant but infact, a duck.
You point out that the Elephant is about 20x taller, and 2,000-3,000 times the weight of a duck.
The Elephant insists that it's just a very big duck.
You point out that you can clearly see the string tying the duck bill to its trunk, not to mention that ducks don't have a trunk extending from the botton of their bills.
The Elephant angrily insists that it merely lost its bill in "the war", and that you are being very rude.
You also mention the shoddily-glued wings, where you can see it already starting to peel.
Now pissed off, the Elephant roars, lowers its head and charges at you! AHHHHHH! 	A Few well placed spitballs in critical joints in the UDO, and it breaks apart, spitting out a number of cows and ducks in the process. Because you don't give a damn, you move on and leave the ducks and cows to sort their problems out.
A little further down the path, you see another odd (presumably duck themed) structure. More importantly you also see an elephant. It seems to have tied a much-too-small duckbill onto the front of its trunk. Feeling uncharacteristically kind, you greet the Elephant and ask what an elephant is doing in a duck themed world.
The Elephant informs you that it is not an Elephant but infact, a duck.
You point out that the Elephant is about 20x taller, and 2,000-3,000 times the weight of a duck.
The Elephant insists that it's just a very big duck.
You point out that you can clearly see the string tying the duck bill to its trunk, not to mention that ducks don't have a trunk extending from the botton of their bills.
The Elephant angrily insists that it merely lost its bill in "the war", and that you are being very rude.
You also mention the shoddily-glued wings, where you can see it already starting to peel.
Now pissed off, the Elephant roars, lowers its head and charges at you! AHHHHHH! 	A Few well placed spitballs in critical joints in the UDO, and it breaks apart, spitting out a number of cows and ducks in the process. Because you don't give a damn, you move on and leave the ducks and cows to sort their problems out.
A little further down the path, you see another odd (presumably duck themed) structure. More importantly you also see an elephant. It seems to have tied a much-too-small duckbill onto the front of its trunk. Feeling uncharacteristically kind, you greet the Elephant and ask what an elephant is doing in a duck themed world.
The Elephant informs you that it is not an Elephant but infact, a duck.
You point out that the Elephant is about 20x taller, and 2,000-3,000 times the weight of a duck.
The Elephant insists that it's just a very big duck.
You point out that you can clearly see the string tying the duck bill to its trunk, not to mention that ducks don't have a trunk extending from the botton of their bills.
The Elephant angrily insists that it merely lost its bill in "the war", and that you are being very rude.
You also mention the shoddily-glued wings, where you can see it already starting to peel.
Now pissed off, the Elephant roars, lowers its head and charges at you! AHHHHHH!
 	 	THE DOG 	22 	The dog from Duck Hunt and Doge
 	Defeated and crying, the elephants lets out an enormous -
*QUONK*
- beats its wings, and take off into the sky! Holy Crap, maybe it actually was a duck? You trudge along for some time, feeling bad for what you did. Again.
Suddenly you spot a rustle in some bushes and a duck bursts out, flying around erratically. You try to take some pot-shots at it with one of your many gun-type weapons but miss in humiliating fashion. To emphasise this humiliation, a dog pops up from the same bush as the duck and starts pointing at you and giggling smugly.
Guess you have a new target now! 	Defeated and crying, the elephants lets out an enormous -
*QUONK*
- beats its wings, and take off into the sky! Holy Crap, maybe it actually was a duck? You trudge along for some time, feeling bad for what you did. Again.
Suddenly you spot a rustle in some bushes and a duck bursts out, flying around erratically. You try to take some pot-shots at it with one of your many gun-type weapons but miss in humiliating fashion. To emphasise this humiliation, a dog pops up from the same bush as the duck and starts pointing at you and giggling smugly.
Guess you have a new target now! 	Defeated and crying, the elephants lets out an enormous -
*QUONK*
- beats its wings, and take off into the sky! Holy Crap, maybe it actually was a duck? You trudge along for some time, feeling bad for what you did. Again.
Suddenly you spot a rustle in some bushes and a duck bursts out, flying around erratically. You try to take some pot-shots at it with one of your many gun-type weapons but miss in humiliating fashion. To emphasise this humiliation, a dog pops up from the same bush as the duck and starts pointing at you and giggling smugly.
Guess you have a new target now! 	Defeated and crying, the elephants lets out an enormous -
*QUONK*
- beats its wings, and take off into the sky! Holy Crap, maybe it actually was a duck? You trudge along for some time, feeling bad for what you did. Again.
Suddenly you spot a rustle in some bushes and a duck bursts out, flying around erratically. You try to take some pot-shots at it with one of your many gun-type weapons but miss in humiliating fashion. To emphasise this humiliation, a dog pops up from the same bush as the duck and starts pointing at you and giggling smugly.
Guess you have a new target now!
 	 	A SINGLE GRAPE 	22 	
 	The dog runs around wildly, dodging all your attacks and continuing to mock you. Eventually it hops into yet another bush, and disappears! God dammit!!
However, your pointless escapade has led you to a lemonade stand. And on it, a single grape! This definitely feels like the seal you're looking for, for absolutely no reason. You reach out to grab the grape when it jumps to the ground. It rolls around on the ground a couple times, then starts growing.
Oh lawdy, does it ever grow. Until it reaches about the size of a sedan. And then it starts rolling towards you! AHHHHHH!
Up above, you can see the Traitor in some sort of hot air balloon, laughing at you. You've somehow fallen for their overly elaborate and unneccessary trap! 	The dog runs around wildly, dodging all your attacks and continuing to mock you. Eventually it hops into yet another bush, and disappears! God dammit!!
However, your pointless escapade has led you to a lemonade stand. And on it, a single grape! This definitely feels like the seal you're looking for, for absolutely no reason. You reach out to grab the grape when it jumps to the ground. It rolls around on the ground a couple times, then starts growing.
Oh lawdy, does it ever grow. Until it reaches about the size of a sedan. And then it starts rolling towards you! AHHHHHH!
Up above, you can see the Traitor in some sort of hot air balloon, laughing at you. You've somehow fallen for their overly elaborate and unneccessary trap! 	The dog runs around wildly, dodging all your attacks and continuing to mock you. Eventually it hops into yet another bush, and disappears! God dammit!!
However, your pointless escapade has led you to a lemonade stand. And on it, a single grape! This definitely feels like the seal you're looking for, for absolutely no reason. You reach out to grab the grape when it jumps to the ground. It rolls around on the ground a couple times, then starts growing.
Oh lawdy, does it ever grow. Until it reaches about the size of a sedan. And then it starts rolling towards you! AHHHHHH!
Up above, you can see the Traitor in some sort of hot air balloon, laughing at you. You've somehow fallen for their overly elaborate and unneccessary trap! 	The dog runs around wildly, dodging all your attacks and continuing to mock you. Eventually it hops into yet another bush, and disappears! God dammit!!
However, your pointless escapade has led you to a lemonade stand. And on it, a single grape! This definitely feels like the seal you're looking for, for absolutely no reason. You reach out to grab the grape when it jumps to the ground. It rolls around on the ground a couple times, then starts growing.
Oh lawdy, does it ever grow. Until it reaches about the size of a sedan. And then it starts rolling towards you! AHHHHHH!
Up above, you can see the Traitor in some sort of hot air balloon, laughing at you. You've somehow fallen for their overly elaborate and unneccessary trap!
 	 	A Patch of Tulips 	22 	
 	(You've unlocked a new zone: DUCK DUCK ZONE. Quack!)
Some quick dodges and rolls later, and you lure the damn grape into smashing into the lemonade stand! It finally bursts in a explosion of gooey, grapey grossness. Above, you see the Traitor laugh even harder, as a gentle rumble rolls out through the land. Aw crap, you've been bamboozled again. Looking at the lemonade stand wreckage, you confirm your suspicions that *it* was the seal, and not the grape! D:
*RUMBLE*
Oh crap, that rumble sure got aggressive in a hurry! You gotta bail before this world world implodes or something!
*ZWOOP*
-You teleport back to the lab, and get to work looking for the next Seal. There's not much else you can do, anyways. You're starting to really worry you're running out of chances to stop whatever the Taitor is trying to do.
You perform some SuperDuperHyperSpaceGoogle searching, through SHG's computer and find another potential Seal location. This time, small rumbles occasionally punctuate the mostly silent room, similar to what you felt before leaving the duck place. Whatever the Traitor is plotting, it's having some multiverse-reaching implications!
You head back to the garage, ready to ZWOOP off to the next place when a giant -
*CRASH*
- interrupts you! Looking behind, you see the garage door torn off its connectors and flung to the ground, and a pile of bodies flop out! The Traitor must have sent an entire squad this time. Peering through the carnage, you see the mound of twitching, extremely dead goons is getting pretty ridiculous. You can barely spot the antennae of the instant-kill field weaved in between the corpses. You put your plans on hold for a quick second, to dispose of any bodies fallen into the garage (mainly you fling them into space).
With the garage free of bodies, you -
*ZWOOP*
- to the next place, but you have this growing worry in the back of your mind. At this rate the Traitor can just flush you out by teleporting enough gullible idiots to the garage! But, back to the task at hand. The place you've been lead to looks quite nice - lots of rolling hills with lots of flowers growing, and not too far in the distance you see a quaint and pretty town. You have this urge to spin around and skip through the field... so that's exactly what you do! You even hum to yourself for a while. You also spot a patch of tulips, and decide to take a moment to jump on them for no particular reason. Just get it out of your system, buddy, it's okay.	(You've unlocked a new zone: DUCK DUCK ZONE. Quack!)
Some quick dodges and rolls later, and you lure the damn grape into smashing into the lemonade stand! It finally bursts in a explosion of gooey, grapey grossness. Above, you see the Traitor laugh even harder, as a gentle rumble rolls out through the land. Aw crap, you've been bamboozled again. Looking at the lemonade stand wreckage, you confirm your suspicions that *it* was the seal, and not the grape! D:
*RUMBLE*
Oh crap, that rumble sure got aggressive in a hurry! You gotta bail before this world world implodes or something!
*ZWOOP*
-You teleport back to the lab, and get to work looking for the next Seal. There's not much else you can do, anyways. You're starting to really worry you're running out of chances to stop whatever the Taitor is trying to do.
You perform some SuperDuperHyperSpaceGoogle searching, through SHG's computer and find another potential Seal location. This time, small rumbles occasionally punctuate the mostly silent room, similar to what you felt before leaving the duck place. Whatever the Traitor is plotting, it's having some multiverse-reaching implications!
You head back to the garage, ready to ZWOOP off to the next place when a giant -
*CRASH*
- interrupts you! Looking behind, you see the garage door torn off its connectors and flung to the ground, and a pile of bodies flop out! The Traitor must have sent an entire squad this time. Peering through the carnage, you see the mound of twitching, extremely dead goons is getting pretty ridiculous. You can barely spot the antennae of the instant-kill field weaved in between the corpses. You put your plans on hold for a quick second, to dispose of any bodies fallen into the garage (mainly you fling them into space).
With the garage free of bodies, you -
*ZWOOP*
- to the next place, but you have this growing worry in the back of your mind. At this rate the Traitor can just flush you out by teleporting enough gullible idiots to the garage! But, back to the task at hand. The place you've been lead to looks quite nice - lots of rolling hills with lots of flowers growing, and not too far in the distance you see a quaint and pretty town. You have this urge to spin around and skip through the field... so that's exactly what you do! You even hum to yourself for a while. You also spot a patch of tulips, and decide to take a moment to jump on them for no particular reason. Just get it out of your system, buddy, it's okay.	(You've unlocked a new zone: DUCK DUCK ZONE. Quack!)
Some quick dodges and rolls later, and you lure the damn grape into smashing into the lemonade stand! It finally bursts in a explosion of gooey, grapey grossness. Above, you see the Traitor laugh even harder, as a gentle rumble rolls out through the land. Aw crap, you've been bamboozled again. Looking at the lemonade stand wreckage, you confirm your suspicions that *it* was the seal, and not the grape! D:
*RUMBLE*
Oh crap, that rumble sure got aggressive in a hurry! You gotta bail before this world world implodes or something!
*ZWOOP*
-You teleport back to the lab, and get to work looking for the next Seal. There's not much else you can do, anyways. You're starting to really worry you're running out of chances to stop whatever the Taitor is trying to do.
You perform some SuperDuperHyperSpaceGoogle searching, through SHG's computer and find another potential Seal location. This time, small rumbles occasionally punctuate the mostly silent room, similar to what you felt before leaving the duck place. Whatever the Traitor is plotting, it's having some multiverse-reaching implications!
You head back to the garage, ready to ZWOOP off to the next place when a giant -
*CRASH*
- interrupts you! Looking behind, you see the garage door torn off its connectors and flung to the ground, and a pile of bodies flop out! The Traitor must have sent an entire squad this time. Peering through the carnage, you see the mound of twitching, extremely dead goons is getting pretty ridiculous. You can barely spot the antennae of the instant-kill field weaved in between the corpses. You put your plans on hold for a quick second, to dispose of any bodies fallen into the garage (mainly you fling them into space).
With the garage free of bodies, you -
*ZWOOP*
- to the next place, but you have this growing worry in the back of your mind. At this rate the Traitor can just flush you out by teleporting enough gullible idiots to the garage! But, back to the task at hand. The place you've been lead to looks quite nice - lots of rolling hills with lots of flowers growing, and not too far in the distance you see a quaint and pretty town. You have this urge to spin around and skip through the field... so that's exactly what you do! You even hum to yourself for a while. You also spot a patch of tulips, and decide to take a moment to jump on them for no particular reason. Just get it out of your system, buddy, it's okay.	(You've unlocked a new zone: DUCK DUCK ZONE. Quack!)
Some quick dodges and rolls later, and you lure the damn grape into smashing into the lemonade stand! It finally bursts in a explosion of gooey, grapey grossness. Above, you see the Traitor laugh even harder, as a gentle rumble rolls out through the land. Aw crap, you've been bamboozled again. Looking at the lemonade stand wreckage, you confirm your suspicions that *it* was the seal, and not the grape! D:
*RUMBLE*
Oh crap, that rumble sure got aggressive in a hurry! You gotta bail before this world world implodes or something!
*ZWOOP*
-You teleport back to the lab, and get to work looking for the next Seal. There's not much else you can do, anyways. You're starting to really worry you're running out of chances to stop whatever the Taitor is trying to do.
You perform some SuperDuperHyperSpaceGoogle searching, through SHG's computer and find another potential Seal location. This time, small rumbles occasionally punctuate the mostly silent room, similar to what you felt before leaving the duck place. Whatever the Traitor is plotting, it's having some multiverse-reaching implications!
You head back to the garage, ready to ZWOOP off to the next place when a giant -
*CRASH*
- interrupts you! Looking behind, you see the garage door torn off its connectors and flung to the ground, and a pile of bodies flop out! The Traitor must have sent an entire squad this time. Peering through the carnage, you see the mound of twitching, extremely dead goons is getting pretty ridiculous. You can barely spot the antennae of the instant-kill field weaved in between the corpses. You put your plans on hold for a quick second, to dispose of any bodies fallen into the garage (mainly you fling them into space).
With the garage free of bodies, you -
*ZWOOP*
- to the next place, but you have this growing worry in the back of your mind. At this rate the Traitor can just flush you out by teleporting enough gullible idiots to the garage! But, back to the task at hand. The place you've been lead to looks quite nice - lots of rolling hills with lots of flowers growing, and not too far in the distance you see a quaint and pretty town. You have this urge to spin around and skip through the field... so that's exactly what you do! You even hum to yourself for a while. You also spot a patch of tulips, and decide to take a moment to jump on them for no particular reason. Just get it out of your system, buddy, it's okay.
 	 	A Random Lady 	22 	Julie Andrews from The Sound of Music
 	You done crushing those poor innocent tulips? Okay, great. Back to skipping through the fields for you. The air smells oddly sweet, and the temperature is just right, it's such a nice break from eldritch or spooky lands, the and ones filled with ducks, or bread, or chocolate, or any number of stupid things.
A little more tra-la-la'ing through the field and wouldn't you know it, you spot a random lady doing the same thing, coming your way! The thought of her moving in on your turf fills you with an irrational rage, and you move in defend your territory. 	You done crushing those poor innocent tulips? Okay, great. Back to skipping through the fields for you. The air smells oddly sweet, and the temperature is just right, it's such a nice break from eldritch or spooky lands, the and ones filled with ducks, or bread, or chocolate, or any number of stupid things.
A little more tra-la-la'ing through the field and wouldn't you know it, you spot a random lady doing the same thing, coming your way! The thought of her moving in on your turf fills you with an irrational rage, and you move in defend your territory. 	You done crushing those poor innocent tulips? Okay, great. Back to skipping through the fields for you. The air smells oddly sweet, and the temperature is just right, it's such a nice break from eldritch or spooky lands, the and ones filled with ducks, or bread, or chocolate, or any number of stupid things.
A little more tra-la-la'ing through the field and wouldn't you know it, you spot a random lady doing the same thing, coming your way! The thought of her moving in on your turf fills you with an irrational rage, and you move in defend your territory. 	You done crushing those poor innocent tulips? Okay, great. Back to skipping through the fields for you. The air smells oddly sweet, and the temperature is just right, it's such a nice break from eldritch or spooky lands, the and ones filled with ducks, or bread, or chocolate, or any number of stupid things.
A little more tra-la-la'ing through the field and wouldn't you know it, you spot a random lady doing the same thing, coming your way! The thought of her moving in on your turf fills you with an irrational rage, and you move in defend your territory.
 	 	A Lost Canadian Moose :c 	22 	
 	You recreate Team Rocket blasting off again using the lady, and continue on your merry way.
And the field slopes down, to meet the outskirts of the town, you feel the weird mind control effect mostly fade away. Which is good, because you spot a sad Moose, which almost certainly would have murdered your face if you fought it. The Moose cries out that it can't find its home in Canada. You recall fighting a Boss from there ages ago, so you set up a portal and perform a very rare, good deed! You can consider this boss fight one against every fibre of your being that wants to be a jerk :). 	You recreate Team Rocket blasting off again using the lady, and continue on your merry way.
And the field slopes down, to meet the outskirts of the town, you feel the weird mind control effect mostly fade away. Which is good, because you spot a sad Moose, which almost certainly would have murdered your face if you fought it. The Moose cries out that it can't find its home in Canada. You recall fighting a Boss from there ages ago, so you set up a portal and perform a very rare, good deed! You can consider this boss fight one against every fibre of your being that wants to be a jerk :). 	You recreate Team Rocket blasting off again using the lady, and continue on your merry way.
And the field slopes down, to meet the outskirts of the town, you feel the weird mind control effect mostly fade away. Which is good, because you spot a sad Moose, which almost certainly would have murdered your face if you fought it. The Moose cries out that it can't find its home in Canada. You recall fighting a Boss from there ages ago, so you set up a portal and perform a very rare, good deed! You can consider this boss fight one against every fibre of your being that wants to be a jerk :). 	You recreate Team Rocket blasting off again using the lady, and continue on your merry way.
And the field slopes down, to meet the outskirts of the town, you feel the weird mind control effect mostly fade away. Which is good, because you spot a sad Moose, which almost certainly would have murdered your face if you fought it. The Moose cries out that it can't find its home in Canada. You recall fighting a Boss from there ages ago, so you set up a portal and perform a very rare, good deed! You can consider this boss fight one against every fibre of your being that wants to be a jerk :).
 	 	A 5 Bladed Windmill 	23 	
 	You chalk one up good deed inside your head, right next to the 240 or so bad deeds you've done. A little lopsided, but it's progress! You come up to the very edges of town, and spot a really odd structure - a 5 bladed windmill. Humph. Everyone knows they're meant be 3 or 4 bladed only! 5 is just an abomination! That throws just about all the good vibes you've collected from the tulip fields out the window, and you decide to beat up this evil windmill.
>:( 	You chalk one up good deed inside your head, right next to the 240 or so bad deeds you've done. A little lopsided, but it's progress! You come up to the very edges of town, and spot a really odd structure - a 5 bladed windmill. Humph. Everyone knows they're meant be 3 or 4 bladed only! 5 is just an abomination! That throws just about all the good vibes you've collected from the tulip fields out the window, and you decide to beat up this evil windmill.
>:( 	You chalk one up good deed inside your head, right next to the 240 or so bad deeds you've done. A little lopsided, but it's progress! You come up to the very edges of town, and spot a really odd structure - a 5 bladed windmill. Humph. Everyone knows they're meant be 3 or 4 bladed only! 5 is just an abomination! That throws just about all the good vibes you've collected from the tulip fields out the window, and you decide to beat up this evil windmill.
>:( 	You chalk one up good deed inside your head, right next to the 240 or so bad deeds you've done. A little lopsided, but it's progress! You come up to the very edges of town, and spot a really odd structure - a 5 bladed windmill. Humph. Everyone knows they're meant be 3 or 4 bladed only! 5 is just an abomination! That throws just about all the good vibes you've collected from the tulip fields out the window, and you decide to beat up this evil windmill.
>:(
 	 	A Jerk Cyclist 	23 	
 	With the windmill reduced to wooden splinters, you continue on.
You finally hit some proper streets and buildings in the middle of the town, and yet it's still not that busy. Only the odd car drives by, along with a number of cyclists. As you try to cross the street, one jerk on a bike cuts you off and then has the audacity to flip you the bird! He picked the wrong overpowered maniac to annoy today... 	With the windmill reduced to wooden splinters, you continue on.
You finally hit some proper streets and buildings in the middle of the town, and yet it's still not that busy. Only the odd car drives by, along with a number of cyclists. As you try to cross the street, one jerk on a bike cuts you off and then has the audacity to flip you the bird! He picked the wrong overpowered maniac to annoy today... 	With the windmill reduced to wooden splinters, you continue on.
You finally hit some proper streets and buildings in the middle of the town, and yet it's still not that busy. Only the odd car drives by, along with a number of cyclists. As you try to cross the street, one jerk on a bike cuts you off and then has the audacity to flip you the bird! He picked the wrong overpowered maniac to annoy today... 	With the windmill reduced to wooden splinters, you continue on.
You finally hit some proper streets and buildings in the middle of the town, and yet it's still not that busy. Only the odd car drives by, along with a number of cyclists. As you try to cross the street, one jerk on a bike cuts you off and then has the audacity to flip you the bird! He picked the wrong overpowered maniac to annoy today...
 	 	A Dutch Oven 	23 	dutch oven and dutch oven
 	You commandeer the guy's bike, and then rearrange his bones to turn him into his own bike! He wheels away in agonizing pain.
Now that you've got a bike, you can explore this town faster to search for the Seal! Remember that objective now? Yeah, it's great. You decide to follow your nose, which you immediately regret when you turn a corner and come face to face with... a dutch oven. The gasses are barely contained by the pot lid, and what little seeps out assaults your nose. BARF!! 	You commandeer the guy's bike, and then rearrange his bones to turn him into his own bike! He wheels away in agonizing pain.
Now that you've got a bike, you can explore this town faster to search for the Seal! Remember that objective now? Yeah, it's great. You decide to follow your nose, which you immediately regret when you turn a corner and come face to face with... a dutch oven. The gasses are barely contained by the pot lid, and what little seeps out assaults your nose. BARF!! 	You commandeer the guy's bike, and then rearrange his bones to turn him into his own bike! He wheels away in agonizing pain.
Now that you've got a bike, you can explore this town faster to search for the Seal! Remember that objective now? Yeah, it's great. You decide to follow your nose, which you immediately regret when you turn a corner and come face to face with... a dutch oven. The gasses are barely contained by the pot lid, and what little seeps out assaults your nose. BARF!! 	You commandeer the guy's bike, and then rearrange his bones to turn him into his own bike! He wheels away in agonizing pain.
Now that you've got a bike, you can explore this town faster to search for the Seal! Remember that objective now? Yeah, it's great. You decide to follow your nose, which you immediately regret when you turn a corner and come face to face with... a dutch oven. The gasses are barely contained by the pot lid, and what little seeps out assaults your nose. BARF!!
 	 	The Grand Dutch Duchy 	23 	Monty Python and the Holy Grail
 	Lifting your construction vest up and over your nose, you manage to get close enough to the pot to grab it, and fling it down the road and above the town. A few seconds later, the dutch oven explodes, showering the town in bits of smelly goop.
Let's call that a partial win.
Crossing the town, you see of all things, a Grand Duchy on the other side. Now this seems like the perfect place to stash a Seal! You approach the gate and ask if you can come in to look for a holy Seal.
A knight pops up, mocking your quest, blowing raspberries and flinging a number of clever but very rude insults at you.  As you walk off to think of an alternate plan, you hear a twang of a catpult. Turning back around, you see a cow being flung at you!
Properly angry now, you catch the cow in mid-air, and fling it right back at that jerk Knight. You've had enough of this fool. 	Lifting your construction vest up and over your nose, you manage to get close enough to the pot to grab it, and fling it down the road and above the town. A few seconds later, the dutch oven explodes, showering the town in bits of smelly goop.
Let's call that a partial win.
Crossing the town, you see of all things, a Grand Duchy on the other side. Now this seems like the perfect place to stash a Seal! You approach the gate and ask if you can come in to look for a holy Seal.
A knight pops up, mocking your quest, blowing raspberries and flinging a number of clever but very rude insults at you.  As you walk off to think of an alternate plan, you hear a twang of a catpult. Turning back around, you see a cow being flung at you!
Properly angry now, you catch the cow in mid-air, and fling it right back at that jerk Knight. You've had enough of this fool. 	Lifting your construction vest up and over your nose, you manage to get close enough to the pot to grab it, and fling it down the road and above the town. A few seconds later, the dutch oven explodes, showering the town in bits of smelly goop.
Let's call that a partial win.
Crossing the town, you see of all things, a Grand Duchy on the other side. Now this seems like the perfect place to stash a Seal! You approach the gate and ask if you can come in to look for a holy Seal.
A knight pops up, mocking your quest, blowing raspberries and flinging a number of clever but very rude insults at you.  As you walk off to think of an alternate plan, you hear a twang of a catpult. Turning back around, you see a cow being flung at you!
Properly angry now, you catch the cow in mid-air, and fling it right back at that jerk Knight. You've had enough of this fool. 	Lifting your construction vest up and over your nose, you manage to get close enough to the pot to grab it, and fling it down the road and above the town. A few seconds later, the dutch oven explodes, showering the town in bits of smelly goop.
Let's call that a partial win.
Crossing the town, you see of all things, a Grand Duchy on the other side. Now this seems like the perfect place to stash a Seal! You approach the gate and ask if you can come in to look for a holy Seal.
A knight pops up, mocking your quest, blowing raspberries and flinging a number of clever but very rude insults at you.  As you walk off to think of an alternate plan, you hear a twang of a catpult. Turning back around, you see a cow being flung at you!
Properly angry now, you catch the cow in mid-air, and fling it right back at that jerk Knight. You've had enough of this fool.
 	 	Daan Van Der Vaan Jaansen 	23 	
 	With the knight dispatched, you prepare to storm the gate. But, before you can do that, you hear from... somehwere, the Traitor's voice!
"THAT'S ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Daan Vaan Der Van Jaansen, ENGAGE BATTLE MODE!"
With that, you hear the sounds of something high-tech powering up, and a giant mech leaps out from the middle of the castle. The hatch pops up and the dutchest person you've ever seen emerges, waving at you!
"Hallo friend! I was hired by this fellow to kill you while he destroys something or other! You seem nice, I hope we have a good fight!" With that, he retreats back into the mech, and does a few spiffy fighting poses!
HELL YEAH, MECH FIGHT! 	With the knight dispatched, you prepare to storm the gate. But, before you can do that, you hear from... somehwere, the Traitor's voice!
"THAT'S ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Daan Vaan Der Van Jaansen, ENGAGE BATTLE MODE!"
With that, you hear the sounds of something high-tech powering up, and a giant mech leaps out from the middle of the castle. The hatch pops up and the dutchest person you've ever seen emerges, waving at you!
"Hallo friend! I was hired by this fellow to kill you while he destroys something or other! You seem nice, I hope we have a good fight!" With that, he retreats back into the mech, and does a few spiffy fighting poses!
HELL YEAH, MECH FIGHT! 	With the knight dispatched, you prepare to storm the gate. But, before you can do that, you hear from... somehwere, the Traitor's voice!
"THAT'S ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Daan Vaan Der Van Jaansen, ENGAGE BATTLE MODE!"
With that, you hear the sounds of something high-tech powering up, and a giant mech leaps out from the middle of the castle. The hatch pops up and the dutchest person you've ever seen emerges, waving at you!
"Hallo friend! I was hired by this fellow to kill you while he destroys something or other! You seem nice, I hope we have a good fight!" With that, he retreats back into the mech, and does a few spiffy fighting poses!
HELL YEAH, MECH FIGHT! 	With the knight dispatched, you prepare to storm the gate. But, before you can do that, you hear from... somehwere, the Traitor's voice!
"THAT'S ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Daan Vaan Der Van Jaansen, ENGAGE BATTLE MODE!"
With that, you hear the sounds of something high-tech powering up, and a giant mech leaps out from the middle of the castle. The hatch pops up and the dutchest person you've ever seen emerges, waving at you!
"Hallo friend! I was hired by this fellow to kill you while he destroys something or other! You seem nice, I hope we have a good fight!" With that, he retreats back into the mech, and does a few spiffy fighting poses!
HELL YEAH, MECH FIGHT!
 	 	A Seagull 	23 	
 	With the mech turned into a twisted metal mech, You move towards the Castle. But, before your very eyes, you see the castle wall buckle and crumble unnaturally, collapsing in on itself like a singularity! Oh no!!!! as the rest of this world start to suck in to the singularity, the Traitor flies out from inside, looking super badass and all-powerful. Uh oh. Was this the final Seal?
"IT'S DONE. Ultimate power is now mine!! This time I'll do it RIGHT."
And YOU. YOU!!! I've played around with you long enough. You're getting too annoying to keep alive.... So, get out of my sight."
With a casual snap of their fingers, the Traitor -
*ZWEEEERP*
- Banishes you from existence.
...
...
Well shit, you're dead. That sucks.
But wait, if you're dead, how can you form thoughts? Dead people are usually pretty dumb.
Well wherever, whatever, or however you are, it's a very deep purple. Kinda pretty.
You flap your arms around. it isn't quite zero gravity, more like 0.01g. You can kinda swim in the swirly purple stuff like an extremely thick fog, if you wanted. 
But, you're feeling so tired. Tired of beating stuff up, tired of fighting against the Traitor. Tired of fighting.You've lost, and you feel so exhausted... maybe you can just close your eyes and let go.
You close your eyes and yawn quite wide, when...
*SQUACK!*
A seagull flies into your open mouth. ARGGGWARBLEFARBLE!!! You spit out the horrible screeching bird and gag, thinking about whats on your tongue, spitting all around you in the void. All thoughts of giving up and accepting defeat turn to pure rage towards this poor, (somewhat) innocent seagull.
*SQUACK!!* 	With the mech turned into a twisted metal mech, You move towards the Castle. But, before your very eyes, you see the castle wall buckle and crumble unnaturally, collapsing in on itself like a singularity! Oh no!!!! as the rest of this world start to suck in to the singularity, the Traitor flies out from inside, looking super badass and all-powerful. Uh oh. Was this the final Seal?
"IT'S DONE. Ultimate power is now mine!! This time I'll do it RIGHT."
And YOU. YOU!!! I've played around with you long enough. You're getting too annoying to keep alive.... So, get out of my sight."
With a casual snap of their fingers, the Traitor -
*ZWEEEERP*
- Banishes you from existence.
...
...
Well shit, you're dead. That sucks.
But wait, if you're dead, how can you form thoughts? Dead people are usually pretty dumb.
Well wherever, whatever, or however you are, it's a very deep purple. Kinda pretty.
You flap your arms around. it isn't quite zero gravity, more like 0.01g. You can kinda swim in the swirly purple stuff like an extremely thick fog, if you wanted. 
But, you're feeling so tired. Tired of beating stuff up, tired of fighting against the Traitor. Tired of fighting.You've lost, and you feel so exhausted... maybe you can just close your eyes and let go.
You close your eyes and yawn quite wide, when...
*SQUACK!*
A seagull flies into your open mouth. ARGGGWARBLEFARBLE!!! You spit out the horrible screeching bird and gag, thinking about whats on your tongue, spitting all around you in the void. All thoughts of giving up and accepting defeat turn to pure rage towards this poor, (somewhat) innocent seagull.
*SQUACK!!* 	With the mech turned into a twisted metal mech, You move towards the Castle. But, before your very eyes, you see the castle wall buckle and crumble unnaturally, collapsing in on itself like a singularity! Oh no!!!! as the rest of this world start to suck in to the singularity, the Traitor flies out from inside, looking super badass and all-powerful. Uh oh. Was this the final Seal?
"IT'S DONE. Ultimate power is now mine!! This time I'll do it RIGHT."
And YOU. YOU!!! I've played around with you long enough. You're getting too annoying to keep alive.... So, get out of my sight."
With a casual snap of their fingers, the Traitor -
*ZWEEEERP*
- Banishes you from existence.
...
...
Well shit, you're dead. That sucks.
But wait, if you're dead, how can you form thoughts? Dead people are usually pretty dumb.
Well wherever, whatever, or however you are, it's a very deep purple. Kinda pretty.
You flap your arms around. it isn't quite zero gravity, more like 0.01g. You can kinda swim in the swirly purple stuff like an extremely thick fog, if you wanted. 
But, you're feeling so tired. Tired of beating stuff up, tired of fighting against the Traitor. Tired of fighting.You've lost, and you feel so exhausted... maybe you can just close your eyes and let go.
You close your eyes and yawn quite wide, when...
*SQUACK!*
A seagull flies into your open mouth. ARGGGWARBLEFARBLE!!! You spit out the horrible screeching bird and gag, thinking about whats on your tongue, spitting all around you in the void. All thoughts of giving up and accepting defeat turn to pure rage towards this poor, (somewhat) innocent seagull.
*SQUACK!!* 	With the mech turned into a twisted metal mech, You move towards the Castle. But, before your very eyes, you see the castle wall buckle and crumble unnaturally, collapsing in on itself like a singularity! Oh no!!!! as the rest of this world start to suck in to the singularity, the Traitor flies out from inside, looking super badass and all-powerful. Uh oh. Was this the final Seal?
"IT'S DONE. Ultimate power is now mine!! This time I'll do it RIGHT."
And YOU. YOU!!! I've played around with you long enough. You're getting too annoying to keep alive.... So, get out of my sight."
With a casual snap of their fingers, the Traitor -
*ZWEEEERP*
- Banishes you from existence.
...
...
Well shit, you're dead. That sucks.
But wait, if you're dead, how can you form thoughts? Dead people are usually pretty dumb.
Well wherever, whatever, or however you are, it's a very deep purple. Kinda pretty.
You flap your arms around. it isn't quite zero gravity, more like 0.01g. You can kinda swim in the swirly purple stuff like an extremely thick fog, if you wanted. 
But, you're feeling so tired. Tired of beating stuff up, tired of fighting against the Traitor. Tired of fighting.You've lost, and you feel so exhausted... maybe you can just close your eyes and let go.
You close your eyes and yawn quite wide, when...
*SQUACK!*
A seagull flies into your open mouth. ARGGGWARBLEFARBLE!!! You spit out the horrible screeching bird and gag, thinking about whats on your tongue, spitting all around you in the void. All thoughts of giving up and accepting defeat turn to pure rage towards this poor, (somewhat) innocent seagull.
*SQUACK!!*
 	 	Cosmic Jellyfish 	23 	
 	You pluck out as many feathers from the unfortunate bird as you can, and fashion the worst kind of fan possible. It gives you only a little more speed and maneuverability in this weird, purple swirling void. But it's a start.
You flap around in an undignified manner leaving a beat-up and naked seagull where you once were. If birds exist, maybe other things exist wherever the hell you are. It's impossible to get your bearings, with everywhere looking the same, no matter where you look. so you pick out a direction and random, start flapping, and pray you find something else... or it finds you.
An hour of flapping around like a person possessed, and you encounter the giantest, jelliest looking-est thing you've ever seen. It majestically zooms by, with the current of the aether seemingly taking it wherever it goes. A shame it ended up near you. 	You pluck out as many feathers from the unfortunate bird as you can, and fashion the worst kind of fan possible. It gives you only a little more speed and maneuverability in this weird, purple swirling void. But it's a start.
You flap around in an undignified manner leaving a beat-up and naked seagull where you once were. If birds exist, maybe other things exist wherever the hell you are. It's impossible to get your bearings, with everywhere looking the same, no matter where you look. so you pick out a direction and random, start flapping, and pray you find something else... or it finds you.
An hour of flapping around like a person possessed, and you encounter the giantest, jelliest looking-est thing you've ever seen. It majestically zooms by, with the current of the aether seemingly taking it wherever it goes. A shame it ended up near you. 	You pluck out as many feathers from the unfortunate bird as you can, and fashion the worst kind of fan possible. It gives you only a little more speed and maneuverability in this weird, purple swirling void. But it's a start.
You flap around in an undignified manner leaving a beat-up and naked seagull where you once were. If birds exist, maybe other things exist wherever the hell you are. It's impossible to get your bearings, with everywhere looking the same, no matter where you look. so you pick out a direction and random, start flapping, and pray you find something else... or it finds you.
An hour of flapping around like a person possessed, and you encounter the giantest, jelliest looking-est thing you've ever seen. It majestically zooms by, with the current of the aether seemingly taking it wherever it goes. A shame it ended up near you. 	You pluck out as many feathers from the unfortunate bird as you can, and fashion the worst kind of fan possible. It gives you only a little more speed and maneuverability in this weird, purple swirling void. But it's a start.
You flap around in an undignified manner leaving a beat-up and naked seagull where you once were. If birds exist, maybe other things exist wherever the hell you are. It's impossible to get your bearings, with everywhere looking the same, no matter where you look. so you pick out a direction and random, start flapping, and pray you find something else... or it finds you.
An hour of flapping around like a person possessed, and you encounter the giantest, jelliest looking-est thing you've ever seen. It majestically zooms by, with the current of the aether seemingly taking it wherever it goes. A shame it ended up near you.
 	 	Aether Eel 	23 	
 	With that boss fight settled, you now have quite the makeshift cosmic sail set up, made from fesh jellyfish-and-bird bits. You can explore quite a bit faster now!
It still takes you forever to find something else in that vast, murky void. Or rather, for it to find you. As you scan through the purple alphabet soup, You spot a boulder. Cool! Rocks are cool. Shut up, they are! Especially when nothing else exists, anyone would find a rock cool as heck in this situation.
You approach the rock, when an eel slithers out from the other side. AHH! It looks oddly familiar, like you've beaten it up in another life, or another menu. 	With that boss fight settled, you now have quite the makeshift cosmic sail set up, made from fesh jellyfish-and-bird bits. You can explore quite a bit faster now!
It still takes you forever to find something else in that vast, murky void. Or rather, for it to find you. As you scan through the purple alphabet soup, You spot a boulder. Cool! Rocks are cool. Shut up, they are! Especially when nothing else exists, anyone would find a rock cool as heck in this situation.
You approach the rock, when an eel slithers out from the other side. AHH! It looks oddly familiar, like you've beaten it up in another life, or another menu. 	With that boss fight settled, you now have quite the makeshift cosmic sail set up, made from fesh jellyfish-and-bird bits. You can explore quite a bit faster now!
It still takes you forever to find something else in that vast, murky void. Or rather, for it to find you. As you scan through the purple alphabet soup, You spot a boulder. Cool! Rocks are cool. Shut up, they are! Especially when nothing else exists, anyone would find a rock cool as heck in this situation.
You approach the rock, when an eel slithers out from the other side. AHH! It looks oddly familiar, like you've beaten it up in another life, or another menu. 	With that boss fight settled, you now have quite the makeshift cosmic sail set up, made from fesh jellyfish-and-bird bits. You can explore quite a bit faster now!
It still takes you forever to find something else in that vast, murky void. Or rather, for it to find you. As you scan through the purple alphabet soup, You spot a boulder. Cool! Rocks are cool. Shut up, they are! Especially when nothing else exists, anyone would find a rock cool as heck in this situation.
You approach the rock, when an eel slithers out from the other side. AHH! It looks oddly familiar, like you've beaten it up in another life, or another menu.
 	 	You. 	23 	
 	The eel lunges at you to perform a jolt tackle, but you skillfully sidestep it and it shocks your jelly sail!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRTTT!
Holy crap! The jolt did *something* weird to the jelly sail cause you're FLYING now! weeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Unfortunately the speed boost doesn't last forever, and you eventually slow down to your old speed. But it got you somewhere new. Up ahead you see a lone raft floating by. That might be useful!...Except, when you get closer, it seems manned by someone. Well, time to beat them up! You prepare your ass-kicking gland...
...before you jaw drops, and you realize, you're staring at YOURSELF. Or at least, you if you reaaaally let yourself go. They're looking totally ragged and exhausted, with many old scars across their weary body. They finally spot you too, and frantically try to escape for a moment before realizing it's pointless, and giving up.
You wave them over, and ask what, or *who* the hell they are.
They seem relieved to hear your questions
"Oh thank god, I thought I was screwed. You're just a newbie aren't you? Jeez, what are we up to now, 50? 60?"
Your puzzled look makes your doppleganger look equally confused.
"Look, we can talk more but uh... can you help a You out? I was plundered by one of the vets - all they left me with was my emergency raft. We could get a lot further together. Maybe even track them down and steal my stuff back!" They give a hopeful smile.
You're still awfully tempted to beat yourself up.. but really, where would that leave you in the end? You have no clue where or what this place is, let alone how to escape.
So, grudgingly, you work together to set up a more proper craft with your combined resources. 	The eel lunges at you to perform a jolt tackle, but you skillfully sidestep it and it shocks your jelly sail!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRTTT!
Holy crap! The jolt did *something* weird to the jelly sail cause you're FLYING now! weeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Unfortunately the speed boost doesn't last forever, and you eventually slow down to your old speed. But it got you somewhere new. Up ahead you see a lone raft floating by. That might be useful!...Except, when you get closer, it seems manned by someone. Well, time to beat them up! You prepare your ass-kicking gland...
...before you jaw drops, and you realize, you're staring at YOURSELF. Or at least, you if you reaaaally let yourself go. They're looking totally ragged and exhausted, with many old scars across their weary body. They finally spot you too, and frantically try to escape for a moment before realizing it's pointless, and giving up.
You wave them over, and ask what, or *who* the hell they are.
They seem relieved to hear your questions
"Oh thank god, I thought I was screwed. You're just a newbie aren't you? Jeez, what are we up to now, 50? 60?"
Your puzzled look makes your doppleganger look equally confused.
"Look, we can talk more but uh... can you help a You out? I was plundered by one of the vets - all they left me with was my emergency raft. We could get a lot further together. Maybe even track them down and steal my stuff back!" They give a hopeful smile.
You're still awfully tempted to beat yourself up.. but really, where would that leave you in the end? You have no clue where or what this place is, let alone how to escape.
So, grudgingly, you work together to set up a more proper craft with your combined resources. 	The eel lunges at you to perform a jolt tackle, but you skillfully sidestep it and it shocks your jelly sail!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRTTT!
Holy crap! The jolt did *something* weird to the jelly sail cause you're FLYING now! weeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Unfortunately the speed boost doesn't last forever, and you eventually slow down to your old speed. But it got you somewhere new. Up ahead you see a lone raft floating by. That might be useful!...Except, when you get closer, it seems manned by someone. Well, time to beat them up! You prepare your ass-kicking gland...
...before you jaw drops, and you realize, you're staring at YOURSELF. Or at least, you if you reaaaally let yourself go. They're looking totally ragged and exhausted, with many old scars across their weary body. They finally spot you too, and frantically try to escape for a moment before realizing it's pointless, and giving up.
You wave them over, and ask what, or *who* the hell they are.
They seem relieved to hear your questions
"Oh thank god, I thought I was screwed. You're just a newbie aren't you? Jeez, what are we up to now, 50? 60?"
Your puzzled look makes your doppleganger look equally confused.
"Look, we can talk more but uh... can you help a You out? I was plundered by one of the vets - all they left me with was my emergency raft. We could get a lot further together. Maybe even track them down and steal my stuff back!" They give a hopeful smile.
You're still awfully tempted to beat yourself up.. but really, where would that leave you in the end? You have no clue where or what this place is, let alone how to escape.
So, grudgingly, you work together to set up a more proper craft with your combined resources. 	The eel lunges at you to perform a jolt tackle, but you skillfully sidestep it and it shocks your jelly sail!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRTTT!
Holy crap! The jolt did *something* weird to the jelly sail cause you're FLYING now! weeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Unfortunately the speed boost doesn't last forever, and you eventually slow down to your old speed. But it got you somewhere new. Up ahead you see a lone raft floating by. That might be useful!...Except, when you get closer, it seems manned by someone. Well, time to beat them up! You prepare your ass-kicking gland...
...before you jaw drops, and you realize, you're staring at YOURSELF. Or at least, you if you reaaaally let yourself go. They're looking totally ragged and exhausted, with many old scars across their weary body. They finally spot you too, and frantically try to escape for a moment before realizing it's pointless, and giving up.
You wave them over, and ask what, or *who* the hell they are.
They seem relieved to hear your questions
"Oh thank god, I thought I was screwed. You're just a newbie aren't you? Jeez, what are we up to now, 50? 60?"
Your puzzled look makes your doppleganger look equally confused.
"Look, we can talk more but uh... can you help a You out? I was plundered by one of the vets - all they left me with was my emergency raft. We could get a lot further together. Maybe even track them down and steal my stuff back!" They give a hopeful smile.
You're still awfully tempted to beat yourself up.. but really, where would that leave you in the end? You have no clue where or what this place is, let alone how to escape.
So, grudgingly, you work together to set up a more proper craft with your combined resources.
 	 	A Pi-rat 	23 	
 	You work together to combine your resources into a usable raft with sail, and then - off you go to wherever. Your other You seems to know where they want to go, so you hand of control to them. As you zoom by the purple inky wastes, you ask them where or what the hell this is.
"This place? All I really know is it's an endless void, where we go when we die. Er, when I say we, I mean specifically WE, you know. Us. Ever since that terrible mission that tore us apart... you don't remember? That's new. When that stupid old man who runs the universe sent us on that mission to retrieve the Ultimate MacGuffin, he didn't say anything about it splitting us apart! And now look at us, doomed to split apart and die, again and again, until the main fragment does whatever bullcrap he's plotting and we're snuffed out for good, I suppose. That MacGuffin really is a plot contrivance isn't it?"
You're so confused by all this exposition, but that's okay because up ahead is a distraction in the shape of some wreckage! Little bits of wood and random debris fills the "air" up ahead. There might be something that could help you out.
As you and you dig through the floating crap, something flies out at you and tries to bite out your jugular! You grab it in time and fling it against a floating plank. You see it wriggling in the soupy air and start charging you. That's when you see it isn't just a rat, it's a pi-rat!! 	You work together to combine your resources into a usable raft with sail, and then - off you go to wherever. Your other You seems to know where they want to go, so you hand of control to them. As you zoom by the purple inky wastes, you ask them where or what the hell this is.
"This place? All I really know is it's an endless void, where we go when we die. Er, when I say we, I mean specifically WE, you know. Us. Ever since that terrible mission that tore us apart... you don't remember? That's new. When that stupid old man who runs the universe sent us on that mission to retrieve the Ultimate MacGuffin, he didn't say anything about it splitting us apart! And now look at us, doomed to split apart and die, again and again, until the main fragment does whatever bullcrap he's plotting and we're snuffed out for good, I suppose. That MacGuffin really is a plot contrivance isn't it?"
You're so confused by all this exposition, but that's okay because up ahead is a distraction in the shape of some wreckage! Little bits of wood and random debris fills the "air" up ahead. There might be something that could help you out.
As you and you dig through the floating crap, something flies out at you and tries to bite out your jugular! You grab it in time and fling it against a floating plank. You see it wriggling in the soupy air and start charging you. That's when you see it isn't just a rat, it's a pi-rat!! 	You work together to combine your resources into a usable raft with sail, and then - off you go to wherever. Your other You seems to know where they want to go, so you hand of control to them. As you zoom by the purple inky wastes, you ask them where or what the hell this is.
"This place? All I really know is it's an endless void, where we go when we die. Er, when I say we, I mean specifically WE, you know. Us. Ever since that terrible mission that tore us apart... you don't remember? That's new. When that stupid old man who runs the universe sent us on that mission to retrieve the Ultimate MacGuffin, he didn't say anything about it splitting us apart! And now look at us, doomed to split apart and die, again and again, until the main fragment does whatever bullcrap he's plotting and we're snuffed out for good, I suppose. That MacGuffin really is a plot contrivance isn't it?"
You're so confused by all this exposition, but that's okay because up ahead is a distraction in the shape of some wreckage! Little bits of wood and random debris fills the "air" up ahead. There might be something that could help you out.
As you and you dig through the floating crap, something flies out at you and tries to bite out your jugular! You grab it in time and fling it against a floating plank. You see it wriggling in the soupy air and start charging you. That's when you see it isn't just a rat, it's a pi-rat!! 	You work together to combine your resources into a usable raft with sail, and then - off you go to wherever. Your other You seems to know where they want to go, so you hand of control to them. As you zoom by the purple inky wastes, you ask them where or what the hell this is.
"This place? All I really know is it's an endless void, where we go when we die. Er, when I say we, I mean specifically WE, you know. Us. Ever since that terrible mission that tore us apart... you don't remember? That's new. When that stupid old man who runs the universe sent us on that mission to retrieve the Ultimate MacGuffin, he didn't say anything about it splitting us apart! And now look at us, doomed to split apart and die, again and again, until the main fragment does whatever bullcrap he's plotting and we're snuffed out for good, I suppose. That MacGuffin really is a plot contrivance isn't it?"
You're so confused by all this exposition, but that's okay because up ahead is a distraction in the shape of some wreckage! Little bits of wood and random debris fills the "air" up ahead. There might be something that could help you out.
As you and you dig through the floating crap, something flies out at you and tries to bite out your jugular! You grab it in time and fling it against a floating plank. You see it wriggling in the soupy air and start charging you. That's when you see it isn't just a rat, it's a pi-rat!!
 	 	Bunch of Old Newspapers 	24 	
 	At this point, you just accept that all rats want to kill you with the most intense, murderous rage that can fit in their tiny rat-bodies.
You carry on some usable supplies to your craft, and even expand the space! So much room for activities like... Standing, or sitting I guess. As you get back to sailing, you ask this other You about being split apart. That part seemed a little weird.
"Well, we found that stupid freakin' MacGuffin - in the old man's own backyard of course! And when we went to grab it, the power split us into two! I wasn't there myself obviously, but I heard this from Split #1 themselves. Every time the Traitor inevitably tracks down the next split and they end up here just like you. And then a new split forms and, well, you can see why there's dozens of us scattered throughout this void."
They shrug as if the thought of dozens of dead versions of themselves floating in the aether is just an average Tuesday, and keep steering the ship.
In the far distance you see some sort of weird cloud... but as you approach, you discover to your dismay, that its not a cloud, but a collection of old newspapers! They flap around, thwacking you and You in the face! 	At this point, you just accept that all rats want to kill you with the most intense, murderous rage that can fit in their tiny rat-bodies.
You carry on some usable supplies to your craft, and even expand the space! So much room for activities like... Standing, or sitting I guess. As you get back to sailing, you ask this other You about being split apart. That part seemed a little weird.
"Well, we found that stupid freakin' MacGuffin - in the old man's own backyard of course! And when we went to grab it, the power split us into two! I wasn't there myself obviously, but I heard this from Split #1 themselves. Every time the Traitor inevitably tracks down the next split and they end up here just like you. And then a new split forms and, well, you can see why there's dozens of us scattered throughout this void."
They shrug as if the thought of dozens of dead versions of themselves floating in the aether is just an average Tuesday, and keep steering the ship.
In the far distance you see some sort of weird cloud... but as you approach, you discover to your dismay, that its not a cloud, but a collection of old newspapers! They flap around, thwacking you and You in the face! 	At this point, you just accept that all rats want to kill you with the most intense, murderous rage that can fit in their tiny rat-bodies.
You carry on some usable supplies to your craft, and even expand the space! So much room for activities like... Standing, or sitting I guess. As you get back to sailing, you ask this other You about being split apart. That part seemed a little weird.
"Well, we found that stupid freakin' MacGuffin - in the old man's own backyard of course! And when we went to grab it, the power split us into two! I wasn't there myself obviously, but I heard this from Split #1 themselves. Every time the Traitor inevitably tracks down the next split and they end up here just like you. And then a new split forms and, well, you can see why there's dozens of us scattered throughout this void."
They shrug as if the thought of dozens of dead versions of themselves floating in the aether is just an average Tuesday, and keep steering the ship.
In the far distance you see some sort of weird cloud... but as you approach, you discover to your dismay, that its not a cloud, but a collection of old newspapers! They flap around, thwacking you and You in the face! 	At this point, you just accept that all rats want to kill you with the most intense, murderous rage that can fit in their tiny rat-bodies.
You carry on some usable supplies to your craft, and even expand the space! So much room for activities like... Standing, or sitting I guess. As you get back to sailing, you ask this other You about being split apart. That part seemed a little weird.
"Well, we found that stupid freakin' MacGuffin - in the old man's own backyard of course! And when we went to grab it, the power split us into two! I wasn't there myself obviously, but I heard this from Split #1 themselves. Every time the Traitor inevitably tracks down the next split and they end up here just like you. And then a new split forms and, well, you can see why there's dozens of us scattered throughout this void."
They shrug as if the thought of dozens of dead versions of themselves floating in the aether is just an average Tuesday, and keep steering the ship.
In the far distance you see some sort of weird cloud... but as you approach, you discover to your dismay, that its not a cloud, but a collection of old newspapers! They flap around, thwacking you and You in the face!
 	 	THE BUCKET 	24 	
 	Once you take down one stack of newspaper by hands, you begin rolling it up and whacking the rest down without much hassle. And hey, this newspaper is handy for patching up the smaller holes on your ship! You also make two hats for each of you, cause why not. It seems to lift your spirits.
You ask You what exactly happened before when you found them... something about being plundered?
"Some of us are bored being stuck here waiting for the Traitor to end all existence, so they've taken up becoming pirates. They raid anyone, including other Us's just trying to make a non-living out here in the Aether. Third time they've robbed me now! I'm taking us back to the End-of-Days Inn where we all like to hang out, I bet the whole crew is there too. We might be able to sneak away some of my stuff back."
That's when you spot it- THE BUCKET. such a huge upgrade to your hat doesn't just come floating by every boss! 	Once you take down one stack of newspaper by hands, you begin rolling it up and whacking the rest down without much hassle. And hey, this newspaper is handy for patching up the smaller holes on your ship! You also make two hats for each of you, cause why not. It seems to lift your spirits.
You ask You what exactly happened before when you found them... something about being plundered?
"Some of us are bored being stuck here waiting for the Traitor to end all existence, so they've taken up becoming pirates. They raid anyone, including other Us's just trying to make a non-living out here in the Aether. Third time they've robbed me now! I'm taking us back to the End-of-Days Inn where we all like to hang out, I bet the whole crew is there too. We might be able to sneak away some of my stuff back."
That's when you spot it- THE BUCKET. such a huge upgrade to your hat doesn't just come floating by every boss! 	Once you take down one stack of newspaper by hands, you begin rolling it up and whacking the rest down without much hassle. And hey, this newspaper is handy for patching up the smaller holes on your ship! You also make two hats for each of you, cause why not. It seems to lift your spirits.
You ask You what exactly happened before when you found them... something about being plundered?
"Some of us are bored being stuck here waiting for the Traitor to end all existence, so they've taken up becoming pirates. They raid anyone, including other Us's just trying to make a non-living out here in the Aether. Third time they've robbed me now! I'm taking us back to the End-of-Days Inn where we all like to hang out, I bet the whole crew is there too. We might be able to sneak away some of my stuff back."
That's when you spot it- THE BUCKET. such a huge upgrade to your hat doesn't just come floating by every boss! 	Once you take down one stack of newspaper by hands, you begin rolling it up and whacking the rest down without much hassle. And hey, this newspaper is handy for patching up the smaller holes on your ship! You also make two hats for each of you, cause why not. It seems to lift your spirits.
You ask You what exactly happened before when you found them... something about being plundered?
"Some of us are bored being stuck here waiting for the Traitor to end all existence, so they've taken up becoming pirates. They raid anyone, including other Us's just trying to make a non-living out here in the Aether. Third time they've robbed me now! I'm taking us back to the End-of-Days Inn where we all like to hang out, I bet the whole crew is there too. We might be able to sneak away some of my stuff back."
That's when you spot it- THE BUCKET. such a huge upgrade to your hat doesn't just come floating by every boss!
 	 	A Tar Blob Monster 	24 	
 	You plant THE BUCKET on your head and feel the first surges of swashbuckler-y wash over you. You can see why pirating could be fun! But no, you gotta stay focused - finding a way back to that traitor and ending this, once and for all! You have to do it! Mostly to make up for that little badly drawn girl you beat up 100 bosses or so back. Remember that? You monster.
You think you're getting the lay of the non-land here. And with it, you're got the beginnings of a grand idea... A way to get one last chance to stop the Traitor!
But enough about that, now it's time for a tar blob monster! 	You plant THE BUCKET on your head and feel the first surges of swashbuckler-y wash over you. You can see why pirating could be fun! But no, you gotta stay focused - finding a way back to that traitor and ending this, once and for all! You have to do it! Mostly to make up for that little badly drawn girl you beat up 100 bosses or so back. Remember that? You monster.
You think you're getting the lay of the non-land here. And with it, you're got the beginnings of a grand idea... A way to get one last chance to stop the Traitor!
But enough about that, now it's time for a tar blob monster! 	You plant THE BUCKET on your head and feel the first surges of swashbuckler-y wash over you. You can see why pirating could be fun! But no, you gotta stay focused - finding a way back to that traitor and ending this, once and for all! You have to do it! Mostly to make up for that little badly drawn girl you beat up 100 bosses or so back. Remember that? You monster.
You think you're getting the lay of the non-land here. And with it, you're got the beginnings of a grand idea... A way to get one last chance to stop the Traitor!
But enough about that, now it's time for a tar blob monster! 	You plant THE BUCKET on your head and feel the first surges of swashbuckler-y wash over you. You can see why pirating could be fun! But no, you gotta stay focused - finding a way back to that traitor and ending this, once and for all! You have to do it! Mostly to make up for that little badly drawn girl you beat up 100 bosses or so back. Remember that? You monster.
You think you're getting the lay of the non-land here. And with it, you're got the beginnings of a grand idea... A way to get one last chance to stop the Traitor!
But enough about that, now it's time for a tar blob monster!
 	 	Another You. 	24 	
 	That Tar blob monster came at just the right time, its tarry goop can act as a very sticky glue to bind the parts of the shiper together, stronger!
Not much time passes before you see yet another sign of the pirates' path - a lone person wearing a pathetic pirate hat in an innertube, their arms out to each side trying to... swim through the purple aether? It's not even working, they're moving backwards as much as forwards.
Spotting you, they gasp and redouble their efforts at going nowhere slowly. God dammit.
You ask you other self if this is one of the pirates. They nod, and seem keen on just stealign their dhingy and leaving the pirate-you stranded, but you convince yourself to bring you aboard. Have I said "you" enough times to make that word lose all meaning? Sure bet I did.
It turns out you (the pirate one) got betrayed by the other crew and ejected from the ship cause they were still bored, after mugging You (the first You you met). The politics of the You's in this afterlife seem very complex... Hopefully not too difficult for your plan, though. 	That Tar blob monster came at just the right time, its tarry goop can act as a very sticky glue to bind the parts of the shiper together, stronger!
Not much time passes before you see yet another sign of the pirates' path - a lone person wearing a pathetic pirate hat in an innertube, their arms out to each side trying to... swim through the purple aether? It's not even working, they're moving backwards as much as forwards.
Spotting you, they gasp and redouble their efforts at going nowhere slowly. God dammit.
You ask you other self if this is one of the pirates. They nod, and seem keen on just stealign their dhingy and leaving the pirate-you stranded, but you convince yourself to bring you aboard. Have I said "you" enough times to make that word lose all meaning? Sure bet I did.
It turns out you (the pirate one) got betrayed by the other crew and ejected from the ship cause they were still bored, after mugging You (the first You you met). The politics of the You's in this afterlife seem very complex... Hopefully not too difficult for your plan, though. 	That Tar blob monster came at just the right time, its tarry goop can act as a very sticky glue to bind the parts of the shiper together, stronger!
Not much time passes before you see yet another sign of the pirates' path - a lone person wearing a pathetic pirate hat in an innertube, their arms out to each side trying to... swim through the purple aether? It's not even working, they're moving backwards as much as forwards.
Spotting you, they gasp and redouble their efforts at going nowhere slowly. God dammit.
You ask you other self if this is one of the pirates. They nod, and seem keen on just stealign their dhingy and leaving the pirate-you stranded, but you convince yourself to bring you aboard. Have I said "you" enough times to make that word lose all meaning? Sure bet I did.
It turns out you (the pirate one) got betrayed by the other crew and ejected from the ship cause they were still bored, after mugging You (the first You you met). The politics of the You's in this afterlife seem very complex... Hopefully not too difficult for your plan, though. 	That Tar blob monster came at just the right time, its tarry goop can act as a very sticky glue to bind the parts of the shiper together, stronger!
Not much time passes before you see yet another sign of the pirates' path - a lone person wearing a pathetic pirate hat in an innertube, their arms out to each side trying to... swim through the purple aether? It's not even working, they're moving backwards as much as forwards.
Spotting you, they gasp and redouble their efforts at going nowhere slowly. God dammit.
You ask you other self if this is one of the pirates. They nod, and seem keen on just stealign their dhingy and leaving the pirate-you stranded, but you convince yourself to bring you aboard. Have I said "you" enough times to make that word lose all meaning? Sure bet I did.
It turns out you (the pirate one) got betrayed by the other crew and ejected from the ship cause they were still bored, after mugging You (the first You you met). The politics of the You's in this afterlife seem very complex... Hopefully not too difficult for your plan, though.
 	 	A Paddlefish 	24 	
 	Once again you head off, with a little more stuff and an extra set of hands to ... well, not do much. you guys only have a single paddle to work with.
As if on cue, you encounter a most pecular Paddlefish. it's called a Paddlefish cause it has paddles sticking out of its body. Ain't that some shit.
Yoink! 	Once again you head off, with a little more stuff and an extra set of hands to ... well, not do much. you guys only have a single paddle to work with.
As if on cue, you encounter a most pecular Paddlefish. it's called a Paddlefish cause it has paddles sticking out of its body. Ain't that some shit.
Yoink! 	Once again you head off, with a little more stuff and an extra set of hands to ... well, not do much. you guys only have a single paddle to work with.
As if on cue, you encounter a most pecular Paddlefish. it's called a Paddlefish cause it has paddles sticking out of its body. Ain't that some shit.
Yoink! 	Once again you head off, with a little more stuff and an extra set of hands to ... well, not do much. you guys only have a single paddle to work with.
As if on cue, you encounter a most pecular Paddlefish. it's called a Paddlefish cause it has paddles sticking out of its body. Ain't that some shit.
Yoink!
 	 	An Anglerfish 	24 	
 	Armed with plenty of paddles to go around, and a cooked fish to eat, you're all feeling pretty good about your situation!
You ask the newcome what their story is " Nothing special. I was split 36, I failed to stop the traitor like, almost immediately. Got killed the first time I tracked them down. I was useless...." Tears well up on their face and they break down, crying.
You're unsure how to console them, so you decide instead to just slap them in the face. Somehow, it works perfectly, and they snap out of it.
They nod. "We've all been down the same path. Some get further than others. But we all end up here, eventually..." They take a swig of some moonshine stashed in their boot. " I guess pretending to be a pirate is a way to help cope."
A dim light ahead breaks off your conversation. Is it the inn?
The light grows brighter, and brighter, til it fills your vision... and then abruptly is replaced by the UGLIEST friggin' fish you've ever seen! BWAAAHH! 	Armed with plenty of paddles to go around, and a cooked fish to eat, you're all feeling pretty good about your situation!
You ask the newcome what their story is " Nothing special. I was split 36, I failed to stop the traitor like, almost immediately. Got killed the first time I tracked them down. I was useless...." Tears well up on their face and they break down, crying.
You're unsure how to console them, so you decide instead to just slap them in the face. Somehow, it works perfectly, and they snap out of it.
They nod. "We've all been down the same path. Some get further than others. But we all end up here, eventually..." They take a swig of some moonshine stashed in their boot. " I guess pretending to be a pirate is a way to help cope."
A dim light ahead breaks off your conversation. Is it the inn?
The light grows brighter, and brighter, til it fills your vision... and then abruptly is replaced by the UGLIEST friggin' fish you've ever seen! BWAAAHH! 	Armed with plenty of paddles to go around, and a cooked fish to eat, you're all feeling pretty good about your situation!
You ask the newcome what their story is " Nothing special. I was split 36, I failed to stop the traitor like, almost immediately. Got killed the first time I tracked them down. I was useless...." Tears well up on their face and they break down, crying.
You're unsure how to console them, so you decide instead to just slap them in the face. Somehow, it works perfectly, and they snap out of it.
They nod. "We've all been down the same path. Some get further than others. But we all end up here, eventually..." They take a swig of some moonshine stashed in their boot. " I guess pretending to be a pirate is a way to help cope."
A dim light ahead breaks off your conversation. Is it the inn?
The light grows brighter, and brighter, til it fills your vision... and then abruptly is replaced by the UGLIEST friggin' fish you've ever seen! BWAAAHH! 	Armed with plenty of paddles to go around, and a cooked fish to eat, you're all feeling pretty good about your situation!
You ask the newcome what their story is " Nothing special. I was split 36, I failed to stop the traitor like, almost immediately. Got killed the first time I tracked them down. I was useless...." Tears well up on their face and they break down, crying.
You're unsure how to console them, so you decide instead to just slap them in the face. Somehow, it works perfectly, and they snap out of it.
They nod. "We've all been down the same path. Some get further than others. But we all end up here, eventually..." They take a swig of some moonshine stashed in their boot. " I guess pretending to be a pirate is a way to help cope."
A dim light ahead breaks off your conversation. Is it the inn?
The light grows brighter, and brighter, til it fills your vision... and then abruptly is replaced by the UGLIEST friggin' fish you've ever seen! BWAAAHH!
 	 	A Bunch of Cannons 	24 	
 	With that hideous fish incapacitated, you find the source of the glow was a weird lightbulb thing attached to its head. Maybe it can help light the path forward? It can!
You sail onwards confidently, armed with the ability to see clearly 6 feet ahead instead of 3. However, encounter you hear the next thing you encounter, well before you can see it.
*boom...*
*boom!*
*BOOM*
That final blast barely graze the side of your craft, splintering off a chunk of wood and newspaper! Oh crap! You finally spot the culprit - several cannons flying through the purple goo, firing constantly!
Now you may be asking " How are these cannons reloading themselves"? To which I reply, shut up and fight this boss. 	With that hideous fish incapacitated, you find the source of the glow was a weird lightbulb thing attached to its head. Maybe it can help light the path forward? It can!
You sail onwards confidently, armed with the ability to see clearly 6 feet ahead instead of 3. However, encounter you hear the next thing you encounter, well before you can see it.
*boom...*
*boom!*
*BOOM*
That final blast barely graze the side of your craft, splintering off a chunk of wood and newspaper! Oh crap! You finally spot the culprit - several cannons flying through the purple goo, firing constantly!
Now you may be asking " How are these cannons reloading themselves"? To which I reply, shut up and fight this boss. 	With that hideous fish incapacitated, you find the source of the glow was a weird lightbulb thing attached to its head. Maybe it can help light the path forward? It can!
You sail onwards confidently, armed with the ability to see clearly 6 feet ahead instead of 3. However, encounter you hear the next thing you encounter, well before you can see it.
*boom...*
*boom!*
*BOOM*
That final blast barely graze the side of your craft, splintering off a chunk of wood and newspaper! Oh crap! You finally spot the culprit - several cannons flying through the purple goo, firing constantly!
Now you may be asking " How are these cannons reloading themselves"? To which I reply, shut up and fight this boss. 	With that hideous fish incapacitated, you find the source of the glow was a weird lightbulb thing attached to its head. Maybe it can help light the path forward? It can!
You sail onwards confidently, armed with the ability to see clearly 6 feet ahead instead of 3. However, encounter you hear the next thing you encounter, well before you can see it.
*boom...*
*boom!*
*BOOM*
That final blast barely graze the side of your craft, splintering off a chunk of wood and newspaper! Oh crap! You finally spot the culprit - several cannons flying through the purple goo, firing constantly!
Now you may be asking " How are these cannons reloading themselves"? To which I reply, shut up and fight this boss.
 	 	A Pile of Ropes 	24 	
 	The trick to subduing the cannons is to get them in a headlock and suplexing them onto the ship! Now you've got a great way to assault those pirates at their hangout! That they continue to fire randomly without being able to stop is a problem for another time.
You spot another dull glow of light way off the distance, this time a more amber hue. Might this be the lights to the inn?
You state the question again, this time to your companions instead in your mind in text form.
"Might be, though we should be fairly close by - WHAAAARGH!!" - something yoinks the first You you met right off the ship!
"BLEEEEEURGH!!" And there goes your other, more piratey you!
You spot what's happening just in time for you to avoid the same treatment - you sailed into a tangled cloud of ropes! You prepare to karate chop these ropey bastards into submission. 	The trick to subduing the cannons is to get them in a headlock and suplexing them onto the ship! Now you've got a great way to assault those pirates at their hangout! That they continue to fire randomly without being able to stop is a problem for another time.
You spot another dull glow of light way off the distance, this time a more amber hue. Might this be the lights to the inn?
You state the question again, this time to your companions instead in your mind in text form.
"Might be, though we should be fairly close by - WHAAAARGH!!" - something yoinks the first You you met right off the ship!
"BLEEEEEURGH!!" And there goes your other, more piratey you!
You spot what's happening just in time for you to avoid the same treatment - you sailed into a tangled cloud of ropes! You prepare to karate chop these ropey bastards into submission. 	The trick to subduing the cannons is to get them in a headlock and suplexing them onto the ship! Now you've got a great way to assault those pirates at their hangout! That they continue to fire randomly without being able to stop is a problem for another time.
You spot another dull glow of light way off the distance, this time a more amber hue. Might this be the lights to the inn?
You state the question again, this time to your companions instead in your mind in text form.
"Might be, though we should be fairly close by - WHAAAARGH!!" - something yoinks the first You you met right off the ship!
"BLEEEEEURGH!!" And there goes your other, more piratey you!
You spot what's happening just in time for you to avoid the same treatment - you sailed into a tangled cloud of ropes! You prepare to karate chop these ropey bastards into submission. 	The trick to subduing the cannons is to get them in a headlock and suplexing them onto the ship! Now you've got a great way to assault those pirates at their hangout! That they continue to fire randomly without being able to stop is a problem for another time.
You spot another dull glow of light way off the distance, this time a more amber hue. Might this be the lights to the inn?
You state the question again, this time to your companions instead in your mind in text form.
"Might be, though we should be fairly close by - WHAAAARGH!!" - something yoinks the first You you met right off the ship!
"BLEEEEEURGH!!" And there goes your other, more piratey you!
You spot what's happening just in time for you to avoid the same treatment - you sailed into a tangled cloud of ropes! You prepare to karate chop these ropey bastards into submission.
 	 	Ladders! 	24 	
 	With the ropey, er, ropes taken care of, you swing arond and help untangle You and pirate You from their predicament. You also snag a few choice pieces to bring along with you!
You spend some quality time with yourself, and I don't mean in that way (you pervert). You bond over your mutual hatred of the crazy old man, as well as mice, and things that fly in the air, days of the week that end in Y, math, things made of either cheese of chocolate, and of course, of the Traitor who caused you all to be in this predicament.
You'd talk more, but you seem to have encountered a deadly cloud of ladders, and worse still, snakes! They shake your ship up and down and up and down and... you get the joke. 	With the ropey, er, ropes taken care of, you swing arond and help untangle You and pirate You from their predicament. You also snag a few choice pieces to bring along with you!
You spend some quality time with yourself, and I don't mean in that way (you pervert). You bond over your mutual hatred of the crazy old man, as well as mice, and things that fly in the air, days of the week that end in Y, math, things made of either cheese of chocolate, and of course, of the Traitor who caused you all to be in this predicament.
You'd talk more, but you seem to have encountered a deadly cloud of ladders, and worse still, snakes! They shake your ship up and down and up and down and... you get the joke. 	With the ropey, er, ropes taken care of, you swing arond and help untangle You and pirate You from their predicament. You also snag a few choice pieces to bring along with you!
You spend some quality time with yourself, and I don't mean in that way (you pervert). You bond over your mutual hatred of the crazy old man, as well as mice, and things that fly in the air, days of the week that end in Y, math, things made of either cheese of chocolate, and of course, of the Traitor who caused you all to be in this predicament.
You'd talk more, but you seem to have encountered a deadly cloud of ladders, and worse still, snakes! They shake your ship up and down and up and down and... you get the joke. 	With the ropey, er, ropes taken care of, you swing arond and help untangle You and pirate You from their predicament. You also snag a few choice pieces to bring along with you!
You spend some quality time with yourself, and I don't mean in that way (you pervert). You bond over your mutual hatred of the crazy old man, as well as mice, and things that fly in the air, days of the week that end in Y, math, things made of either cheese of chocolate, and of course, of the Traitor who caused you all to be in this predicament.
You'd talk more, but you seem to have encountered a deadly cloud of ladders, and worse still, snakes! They shake your ship up and down and up and down and... you get the joke.
 	 	And Snakes! 	24 	
 	You grab a ladder by two rungs and RIP IT apart in an act of unspeakable gore, if you were a ladder. You're not? Okay, then you broke a ladder. Grats.
The snakes, however are another matter, they take refuge in the few remaining ladder, slithering between the rungs and darting out for quick lunge attacks! You've had it with these gosh darn snakes on these mother heckin' ladders, if you can pardon the foul language. 	You grab a ladder by two rungs and RIP IT apart in an act of unspeakable gore, if you were a ladder. You're not? Okay, then you broke a ladder. Grats.
The snakes, however are another matter, they take refuge in the few remaining ladder, slithering between the rungs and darting out for quick lunge attacks! You've had it with these gosh darn snakes on these mother heckin' ladders, if you can pardon the foul language. 	You grab a ladder by two rungs and RIP IT apart in an act of unspeakable gore, if you were a ladder. You're not? Okay, then you broke a ladder. Grats.
The snakes, however are another matter, they take refuge in the few remaining ladder, slithering between the rungs and darting out for quick lunge attacks! You've had it with these gosh darn snakes on these mother heckin' ladders, if you can pardon the foul language. 	You grab a ladder by two rungs and RIP IT apart in an act of unspeakable gore, if you were a ladder. You're not? Okay, then you broke a ladder. Grats.
The snakes, however are another matter, they take refuge in the few remaining ladder, slithering between the rungs and darting out for quick lunge attacks! You've had it with these gosh darn snakes on these mother heckin' ladders, if you can pardon the foul language.
 	 	The Ramshackle Sea Inn 	25 	
 	You manage to secure the ladders from the snakes, leaving them very sad, floating in the purple haze... :c.
With that little episode taken care of - ahoy! Up ahead is the Ramshackle Sea Inn, the perfect den for a bunch of unsavoury, ne'er-do-well pirates! You're not sure how many of them there are, but you know winning over the pirates here his is your best shot at redemption - for all of you.
You decide to knock on the door and politely ask to come in to discuss things. By which I mean, you blast down the door with a well-aimed cannon shot, swing across on ropes and charge in screaming!! YARRRRR!!! 	You manage to secure the ladders from the snakes, leaving them very sad, floating in the purple haze... :c.
With that little episode taken care of - ahoy! Up ahead is the Ramshackle Sea Inn, the perfect den for a bunch of unsavoury, ne'er-do-well pirates! You're not sure how many of them there are, but you know winning over the pirates here his is your best shot at redemption - for all of you.
You decide to knock on the door and politely ask to come in to discuss things. By which I mean, you blast down the door with a well-aimed cannon shot, swing across on ropes and charge in screaming!! YARRRRR!!! 	You manage to secure the ladders from the snakes, leaving them very sad, floating in the purple haze... :c.
With that little episode taken care of - ahoy! Up ahead is the Ramshackle Sea Inn, the perfect den for a bunch of unsavoury, ne'er-do-well pirates! You're not sure how many of them there are, but you know winning over the pirates here his is your best shot at redemption - for all of you.
You decide to knock on the door and politely ask to come in to discuss things. By which I mean, you blast down the door with a well-aimed cannon shot, swing across on ropes and charge in screaming!! YARRRRR!!! 	You manage to secure the ladders from the snakes, leaving them very sad, floating in the purple haze... :c.
With that little episode taken care of - ahoy! Up ahead is the Ramshackle Sea Inn, the perfect den for a bunch of unsavoury, ne'er-do-well pirates! You're not sure how many of them there are, but you know winning over the pirates here his is your best shot at redemption - for all of you.
You decide to knock on the door and politely ask to come in to discuss things. By which I mean, you blast down the door with a well-aimed cannon shot, swing across on ropes and charge in screaming!! YARRRRR!!!
 	 	The First Pirate 	25 	
 	Having thoroughly lost the element of surprise, and not giving a damn, you charge into the battered inn doors! You spot a crowd of unmistakably piratey You's strewn across the bar floor, wielding peg leg clubs, broken beer bottles, or for one odd pirate, a safety pin . The captain of the group shouts "Yarr!!! We beat ye fair and square before, but we'll gladly do it again! Am I right, crew??!
An unenthusiastic roar swells from the crew, as you all move in for a good ol fashioned bar-room brawl! Here comes your first brawler, hopping around on one foot, with their peg-leg clutched in their hand. An interecting tactical choice, to say the least. 	Having thoroughly lost the element of surprise, and not giving a damn, you charge into the battered inn doors! You spot a crowd of unmistakably piratey You's strewn across the bar floor, wielding peg leg clubs, broken beer bottles, or for one odd pirate, a safety pin . The captain of the group shouts "Yarr!!! We beat ye fair and square before, but we'll gladly do it again! Am I right, crew??!
An unenthusiastic roar swells from the crew, as you all move in for a good ol fashioned bar-room brawl! Here comes your first brawler, hopping around on one foot, with their peg-leg clutched in their hand. An interecting tactical choice, to say the least. 	Having thoroughly lost the element of surprise, and not giving a damn, you charge into the battered inn doors! You spot a crowd of unmistakably piratey You's strewn across the bar floor, wielding peg leg clubs, broken beer bottles, or for one odd pirate, a safety pin . The captain of the group shouts "Yarr!!! We beat ye fair and square before, but we'll gladly do it again! Am I right, crew??!
An unenthusiastic roar swells from the crew, as you all move in for a good ol fashioned bar-room brawl! Here comes your first brawler, hopping around on one foot, with their peg-leg clutched in their hand. An interecting tactical choice, to say the least. 	Having thoroughly lost the element of surprise, and not giving a damn, you charge into the battered inn doors! You spot a crowd of unmistakably piratey You's strewn across the bar floor, wielding peg leg clubs, broken beer bottles, or for one odd pirate, a safety pin . The captain of the group shouts "Yarr!!! We beat ye fair and square before, but we'll gladly do it again! Am I right, crew??!
An unenthusiastic roar swells from the crew, as you all move in for a good ol fashioned bar-room brawl! Here comes your first brawler, hopping around on one foot, with their peg-leg clutched in their hand. An interecting tactical choice, to say the least.
 	 	The Second Pirate 	25 	
 	You see your other You's trying their best to keep up with you in the brawl and... well, they're not exactly *winning* their fights, but they aren't losing either. You help bonk a couple pirate's heads together, and leg sweep yet another that was sneaking up on your first companion You. That oughta help them. But oh no! Another pirate closes in clutching a broken beer bottle and looking menacing. Wait, how else would you expect a pirate to look, like a clown or something? 	You see your other You's trying their best to keep up with you in the brawl and... well, they're not exactly *winning* their fights, but they aren't losing either. You help bonk a couple pirate's heads together, and leg sweep yet another that was sneaking up on your first companion You. That oughta help them. But oh no! Another pirate closes in clutching a broken beer bottle and looking menacing. Wait, how else would you expect a pirate to look, like a clown or something? 	You see your other You's trying their best to keep up with you in the brawl and... well, they're not exactly *winning* their fights, but they aren't losing either. You help bonk a couple pirate's heads together, and leg sweep yet another that was sneaking up on your first companion You. That oughta help them. But oh no! Another pirate closes in clutching a broken beer bottle and looking menacing. Wait, how else would you expect a pirate to look, like a clown or something? 	You see your other You's trying their best to keep up with you in the brawl and... well, they're not exactly *winning* their fights, but they aren't losing either. You help bonk a couple pirate's heads together, and leg sweep yet another that was sneaking up on your first companion You. That oughta help them. But oh no! Another pirate closes in clutching a broken beer bottle and looking menacing. Wait, how else would you expect a pirate to look, like a clown or something?
 	 	The Third Pirate 	25 	
 	You grab the bottle-wielding pirate, flip them over your knee, and give them a much-needed spanking. They shouldn't play with broken glass like that, someone could get hurt!
You glance over to see your buddies starting to gain a 2nd, wind knowing out a few more pirates of their own! Alright, you're all still in this!
You feel a sharp pain in your back and jump forwars. YOWCH! As you flip around you spot another pirate wielding a impractically large safety pin, which has clearly had the safety turned off!. They swing the pin around at you, for another blow! 	You grab the bottle-wielding pirate, flip them over your knee, and give them a much-needed spanking. They shouldn't play with broken glass like that, someone could get hurt!
You glance over to see your buddies starting to gain a 2nd, wind knowing out a few more pirates of their own! Alright, you're all still in this!
You feel a sharp pain in your back and jump forwars. YOWCH! As you flip around you spot another pirate wielding a impractically large safety pin, which has clearly had the safety turned off!. They swing the pin around at you, for another blow! 	You grab the bottle-wielding pirate, flip them over your knee, and give them a much-needed spanking. They shouldn't play with broken glass like that, someone could get hurt!
You glance over to see your buddies starting to gain a 2nd, wind knowing out a few more pirates of their own! Alright, you're all still in this!
You feel a sharp pain in your back and jump forwars. YOWCH! As you flip around you spot another pirate wielding a impractically large safety pin, which has clearly had the safety turned off!. They swing the pin around at you, for another blow! 	You grab the bottle-wielding pirate, flip them over your knee, and give them a much-needed spanking. They shouldn't play with broken glass like that, someone could get hurt!
You glance over to see your buddies starting to gain a 2nd, wind knowing out a few more pirates of their own! Alright, you're all still in this!
You feel a sharp pain in your back and jump forwars. YOWCH! As you flip around you spot another pirate wielding a impractically large safety pin, which has clearly had the safety turned off!. They swing the pin around at you, for another blow!
 	 	The Fourth Pirate 	25 	
 	You manage to snap the safety pin closed again around their hands, incapacitating them for the rest of the brawl. By now there's just a few pirates standing plus the captain, and ... wait, WHAT?
*HONK HONK*
One of the pirates, dressed also like a clown charges forwards, squirting water at you from a weird flower thing! 	You manage to snap the safety pin closed again around their hands, incapacitating them for the rest of the brawl. By now there's just a few pirates standing plus the captain, and ... wait, WHAT?
*HONK HONK*
One of the pirates, dressed also like a clown charges forwards, squirting water at you from a weird flower thing! 	You manage to snap the safety pin closed again around their hands, incapacitating them for the rest of the brawl. By now there's just a few pirates standing plus the captain, and ... wait, WHAT?
*HONK HONK*
One of the pirates, dressed also like a clown charges forwards, squirting water at you from a weird flower thing! 	You manage to snap the safety pin closed again around their hands, incapacitating them for the rest of the brawl. By now there's just a few pirates standing plus the captain, and ... wait, WHAT?
*HONK HONK*
One of the pirates, dressed also like a clown charges forwards, squirting water at you from a weird flower thing!
 	 	The Captain 	25 	
 	Your companions manage two simultaneous head-butt double KO's on the last crew, leaving just you and the captain still conscious.
"Oi, and just who be ye?? Not one of me crew, and ye ain't someone whose booty I ever plundered... Ah to hell with it all! Nothing matters anymore, we're all going to die to that BLOODY TRAITOR!! YARRRRR!"
Time to take down this clown! Metaphorically speaking. You took down the literal clown in the last fight, after all. 	Your companions manage two simultaneous head-butt double KO's on the last crew, leaving just you and the captain still conscious.
"Oi, and just who be ye?? Not one of me crew, and ye ain't someone whose booty I ever plundered... Ah to hell with it all! Nothing matters anymore, we're all going to die to that BLOODY TRAITOR!! YARRRRR!"
Time to take down this clown! Metaphorically speaking. You took down the literal clown in the last fight, after all. 	Your companions manage two simultaneous head-butt double KO's on the last crew, leaving just you and the captain still conscious.
"Oi, and just who be ye?? Not one of me crew, and ye ain't someone whose booty I ever plundered... Ah to hell with it all! Nothing matters anymore, we're all going to die to that BLOODY TRAITOR!! YARRRRR!"
Time to take down this clown! Metaphorically speaking. You took down the literal clown in the last fight, after all. 	Your companions manage two simultaneous head-butt double KO's on the last crew, leaving just you and the captain still conscious.
"Oi, and just who be ye?? Not one of me crew, and ye ain't someone whose booty I ever plundered... Ah to hell with it all! Nothing matters anymore, we're all going to die to that BLOODY TRAITOR!! YARRRRR!"
Time to take down this clown! Metaphorically speaking. You took down the literal clown in the last fight, after all.
 	 	Intermission 	25 	
 	(You unlocked a new Adventure zone: The 7 Aethereal Sea!)
You finish off the Pirate Captain with a well placed bar stool in the back, WWE Style. They slump to the ground groaning "yarrr..."
The usual greeting now concluded, you help the Captain up, and explain the plan you've been formulating: Assemble all of us You's, escape the mysterious purple ravioli soup crap, and take the fight back to the Traitor! Alone you all failed, but maybe together, you can overwhelm the Traitor.
As you explain your plan, the captain and the crewmates seem taken aback, like they never thought of this before. At the end, the Capn' starts nodding, a somber look in his eyes...
"If only I were a little stronger, none of this would have happened! I was the one that touched that blasted MacGuffin in the first place, what spawned that twisted little Traitor. I should have known he would be a.... yarr, what do they call it? Supreme asshole, that be the name for 'em...
Alright boy, we'll try out ye plan. We all be sick of this fighting, fueding and looting anyways. Just maybe by working together, we can make up for our past mistakes! Yarrr! Are ye with me, crew?!"
"YAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRhonk!" A rousing roar that can only be accomplished by exactly 27 pirates and a clown cheering erupts. It's got a specific kind of energy to it, I guess you just had to be there to appreciate it.
Anyways, to the ship!!!
You ask the captain where you might track down your remaining You's "Oh... that. Well we ain't the only piratey crew out there. There was me, and split #3 who were once building a crew, but then he went his own way, started a rival swashbucklin' crew. We clashed now and again but... I won't lie, I haven't seen 'em for an age or two. but if we go to sea causin' a big enough ruckus, I reckon they'll find US instead!"	(You unlocked a new Adventure zone: The 7 Aethereal Sea!)
You finish off the Pirate Captain with a well placed bar stool in the back, WWE Style. They slump to the ground groaning "yarrr..."
The usual greeting now concluded, you help the Captain up, and explain the plan you've been formulating: Assemble all of us You's, escape the mysterious purple ravioli soup crap, and take the fight back to the Traitor! Alone you all failed, but maybe together, you can overwhelm the Traitor.
As you explain your plan, the captain and the crewmates seem taken aback, like they never thought of this before. At the end, the Capn' starts nodding, a somber look in his eyes...
"If only I were a little stronger, none of this would have happened! I was the one that touched that blasted MacGuffin in the first place, what spawned that twisted little Traitor. I should have known he would be a.... yarr, what do they call it? Supreme asshole, that be the name for 'em...
Alright boy, we'll try out ye plan. We all be sick of this fighting, fueding and looting anyways. Just maybe by working together, we can make up for our past mistakes! Yarrr! Are ye with me, crew?!"
"YAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRhonk!" A rousing roar that can only be accomplished by exactly 27 pirates and a clown cheering erupts. It's got a specific kind of energy to it, I guess you just had to be there to appreciate it.
Anyways, to the ship!!!
You ask the captain where you might track down your remaining You's "Oh... that. Well we ain't the only piratey crew out there. There was me, and split #3 who were once building a crew, but then he went his own way, started a rival swashbucklin' crew. We clashed now and again but... I won't lie, I haven't seen 'em for an age or two. but if we go to sea causin' a big enough ruckus, I reckon they'll find US instead!"	(You unlocked a new Adventure zone: The 7 Aethereal Sea!)
You finish off the Pirate Captain with a well placed bar stool in the back, WWE Style. They slump to the ground groaning "yarrr..."
The usual greeting now concluded, you help the Captain up, and explain the plan you've been formulating: Assemble all of us You's, escape the mysterious purple ravioli soup crap, and take the fight back to the Traitor! Alone you all failed, but maybe together, you can overwhelm the Traitor.
As you explain your plan, the captain and the crewmates seem taken aback, like they never thought of this before. At the end, the Capn' starts nodding, a somber look in his eyes...
"If only I were a little stronger, none of this would have happened! I was the one that touched that blasted MacGuffin in the first place, what spawned that twisted little Traitor. I should have known he would be a.... yarr, what do they call it? Supreme asshole, that be the name for 'em...
Alright boy, we'll try out ye plan. We all be sick of this fighting, fueding and looting anyways. Just maybe by working together, we can make up for our past mistakes! Yarrr! Are ye with me, crew?!"
"YAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRhonk!" A rousing roar that can only be accomplished by exactly 27 pirates and a clown cheering erupts. It's got a specific kind of energy to it, I guess you just had to be there to appreciate it.
Anyways, to the ship!!!
You ask the captain where you might track down your remaining You's "Oh... that. Well we ain't the only piratey crew out there. There was me, and split #3 who were once building a crew, but then he went his own way, started a rival swashbucklin' crew. We clashed now and again but... I won't lie, I haven't seen 'em for an age or two. but if we go to sea causin' a big enough ruckus, I reckon they'll find US instead!"	(You unlocked a new Adventure zone: The 7 Aethereal Sea!)
You finish off the Pirate Captain with a well placed bar stool in the back, WWE Style. They slump to the ground groaning "yarrr..."
The usual greeting now concluded, you help the Captain up, and explain the plan you've been formulating: Assemble all of us You's, escape the mysterious purple ravioli soup crap, and take the fight back to the Traitor! Alone you all failed, but maybe together, you can overwhelm the Traitor.
As you explain your plan, the captain and the crewmates seem taken aback, like they never thought of this before. At the end, the Capn' starts nodding, a somber look in his eyes...
"If only I were a little stronger, none of this would have happened! I was the one that touched that blasted MacGuffin in the first place, what spawned that twisted little Traitor. I should have known he would be a.... yarr, what do they call it? Supreme asshole, that be the name for 'em...
Alright boy, we'll try out ye plan. We all be sick of this fighting, fueding and looting anyways. Just maybe by working together, we can make up for our past mistakes! Yarrr! Are ye with me, crew?!"
"YAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRhonk!" A rousing roar that can only be accomplished by exactly 27 pirates and a clown cheering erupts. It's got a specific kind of energy to it, I guess you just had to be there to appreciate it.
Anyways, to the ship!!!
You ask the captain where you might track down your remaining You's "Oh... that. Well we ain't the only piratey crew out there. There was me, and split #3 who were once building a crew, but then he went his own way, started a rival swashbucklin' crew. We clashed now and again but... I won't lie, I haven't seen 'em for an age or two. but if we go to sea causin' a big enough ruckus, I reckon they'll find US instead!"
 	 	Intermission 	25 	
 	[Wiki editor note: This boss and each successive boss up to and including Boss 289 have no story text (the story area is completely blank). They also all have the same "Intermission" title, although the artwork differs.] 	[Wiki editor note: This boss and each successive boss up to and including Boss 289 have no story text (the story area is completely blank). They also all have the same "Intermission" title, although the artwork differs.] 	[Wiki editor note: This boss and each successive boss up to and including Boss 289 have no story text (the story area is completely blank). They also all have the same "Intermission" title, although the artwork differs.] 	[Wiki editor note: This boss and each successive boss up to and including Boss 289 have no story text (the story area is completely blank). They also all have the same "Intermission" title, although the artwork differs.]
 	 	Intermission 	25 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	25 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	26 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	27 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	27 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	27 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	27 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	27 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	Intermission 	27 	
 	 	 	 	
 	 	A Single Rat 	27 	
 	*ZWOOP*
And you land in a very unfamiliar place. You can only see pure whiteness in all directions in a distance, except for a dirt path straight ahead. In the distance you can keep an entrance to a small cave. This isn't at all where you expected to arrive. Where are your Pirate friends? Where is the Traitor? What's going on? Well there's only one obvious way forward...
Before long, you see a rat. Hm. You haven't seen a rat in a while. This one reminds you of the first rats you met back to the sewers. Pretty easy to stomp back then. You test if you can stomp this one just as easily... 	*ZWOOP*
And you land in a very unfamiliar place. You can only see pure whiteness in all directions in a distance, except for a dirt path straight ahead. In the distance you can keep an entrance to a small cave. This isn't at all where you expected to arrive. Where are your Pirate friends? Where is the Traitor? What's going on? Well there's only one obvious way forward...
Before long, you see a rat. Hm. You haven't seen a rat in a while. This one reminds you of the first rats you met back to the sewers. Pretty easy to stomp back then. You test if you can stomp this one just as easily... 	*ZWOOP*
And you land in a very unfamiliar place. You can only see pure whiteness in all directions in a distance, except for a dirt path straight ahead. In the distance you can keep an entrance to a small cave. This isn't at all where you expected to arrive. Where are your Pirate friends? Where is the Traitor? What's going on? Well there's only one obvious way forward...
Before long, you see a rat. Hm. You haven't seen a rat in a while. This one reminds you of the first rats you met back to the sewers. Pretty easy to stomp back then. You test if you can stomp this one just as easily... 	*ZWOOP*
And you land in a very unfamiliar place. You can only see pure whiteness in all directions in a distance, except for a dirt path straight ahead. In the distance you can keep an entrance to a small cave. This isn't at all where you expected to arrive. Where are your Pirate friends? Where is the Traitor? What's going on? Well there's only one obvious way forward...
Before long, you see a rat. Hm. You haven't seen a rat in a while. This one reminds you of the first rats you met back to the sewers. Pretty easy to stomp back then. You test if you can stomp this one just as easily...
 	 	A Strange Sign 	27 	
 	Yep. Still really simple! And yet, you feel some sort of terror in your soul as you dispatch the rat. Something feels very wrong about what you did.
A sign catches your eye as you continue forward. You feel a sense of dread wash over you, and the only way to resolve this feeling is to knock this sign down. 	Yep. Still really simple! And yet, you feel some sort of terror in your soul as you dispatch the rat. Something feels very wrong about what you did.
A sign catches your eye as you continue forward. You feel a sense of dread wash over you, and the only way to resolve this feeling is to knock this sign down. 	Yep. Still really simple! And yet, you feel some sort of terror in your soul as you dispatch the rat. Something feels very wrong about what you did.
A sign catches your eye as you continue forward. You feel a sense of dread wash over you, and the only way to resolve this feeling is to knock this sign down. 	Yep. Still really simple! And yet, you feel some sort of terror in your soul as you dispatch the rat. Something feels very wrong about what you did.
A sign catches your eye as you continue forward. You feel a sense of dread wash over you, and the only way to resolve this feeling is to knock this sign down.
 	 	A Stranger Sign 	27 	
 	Another sign. Another chill down your back. You know you've wronged oh so many people on your adventures, but this still feels creepy as hell. 	Another sign. Another chill down your back. You know you've wronged oh so many people on your adventures, but this still feels creepy as hell. 	Another sign. Another chill down your back. You know you've wronged oh so many people on your adventures, but this still feels creepy as hell. 	Another sign. Another chill down your back. You know you've wronged oh so many people on your adventures, but this still feels creepy as hell.
 	 	The Strangest Sign 	27 	
 	Ok now these signs are just getting annoying. Okay, got it, someone really hates your guts. But wait... who is "we"? 	Ok now these signs are just getting annoying. Okay, got it, someone really hates your guts. But wait... who is "we"? 	Ok now these signs are just getting annoying. Okay, got it, someone really hates your guts. But wait... who is "we"? 	Ok now these signs are just getting annoying. Okay, got it, someone really hates your guts. But wait... who is "we"?
 	 	Rat Guard 1 	28 	
 	You finally reach the mouth of the cave. Flanking each side of the entrance, you see... more rats. One standing with a halberd at its side, the other huddled over, kind of gargoyle-ish. They both spot you at the same time. The gargoyle lets out a piercing shriek of rage, while the other guard blows a nearby horn leading into the cave.
"THIS IS OUR MOMENT!! RATS, RISE UP!!"
Oh shit... you have a theory as to what this all is now. But first, the classic 2 guard combo, coming up! 	You finally reach the mouth of the cave. Flanking each side of the entrance, you see... more rats. One standing with a halberd at its side, the other huddled over, kind of gargoyle-ish. They both spot you at the same time. The gargoyle lets out a piercing shriek of rage, while the other guard blows a nearby horn leading into the cave.
"THIS IS OUR MOMENT!! RATS, RISE UP!!"
Oh shit... you have a theory as to what this all is now. But first, the classic 2 guard combo, coming up! 	You finally reach the mouth of the cave. Flanking each side of the entrance, you see... more rats. One standing with a halberd at its side, the other huddled over, kind of gargoyle-ish. They both spot you at the same time. The gargoyle lets out a piercing shriek of rage, while the other guard blows a nearby horn leading into the cave.
"THIS IS OUR MOMENT!! RATS, RISE UP!!"
Oh shit... you have a theory as to what this all is now. But first, the classic 2 guard combo, coming up! 	You finally reach the mouth of the cave. Flanking each side of the entrance, you see... more rats. One standing with a halberd at its side, the other huddled over, kind of gargoyle-ish. They both spot you at the same time. The gargoyle lets out a piercing shriek of rage, while the other guard blows a nearby horn leading into the cave.
"THIS IS OUR MOMENT!! RATS, RISE UP!!"
Oh shit... you have a theory as to what this all is now. But first, the classic 2 guard combo, coming up!
 	 	Rat Guard 2 	28 	
 	You finish the gargoyle with a rock hammer and hear a chime in your head that you finished your Slayer task. Wha? Ah, whatever. Onto the actual ratty guard guy thing. 	You finish the gargoyle with a rock hammer and hear a chime in your head that you finished your Slayer task. Wha? Ah, whatever. Onto the actual ratty guard guy thing. 	You finish the gargoyle with a rock hammer and hear a chime in your head that you finished your Slayer task. Wha? Ah, whatever. Onto the actual ratty guard guy thing. 	You finish the gargoyle with a rock hammer and hear a chime in your head that you finished your Slayer task. Wha? Ah, whatever. Onto the actual ratty guard guy thing.
 	 	Tippi The Tutorial Mouse 	28 	
 	
As the guard falls, mortally wounded, it lets out a final gasp: "Our will is too... powerful..." - and with that, the guard is no more. You look around for idea on where to go. To the left, infinite nothingness. right in front of you: an enticing tunnel. To the right: infinite nothingness.
You spend 5 minutes agonizing over which path is correct before grudgingly heading into the cave. As you walk along, you can see images carved into the walls. Images depicting what is very clearly you stomping, slashing, biting, kicking, or other murdering a series of rats. There's you knocking out sewer rats, banishing the ghostly rat, beating up the hulked up steroid rat... man these were fun times. All along, there's crude insults drawn above your image, pointing right at you.
And then, as you enter what one could call an arena of sorts, something slams shut behind you. Uh oh.
"You're mine now."
You hear a voice, but no one is around you.
"You think this is about you? About your fight against a so-called 'Traitor'? About saving the... hah, UNIVERSE? Oh no. This is about our triumph over you now. You no good, dirty rotten, multiple-me MURDERER!!!"
With a huge THUMP, a monstrosity assaults your gaze. Looking to be sewn together from a hundred different rats into a..a... The middle head seemed to be the source of the voice, the other rats nodding alonmg in agreement or otherwise snarling.
"I ONLY WANTED TO HELP GUIDE YOU ON YOUR QUEST. AND LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME"!!! the ghastly creature roars!!! "When you stomped on my poor little head, I was sent somewhere... somewhere I wasn't meant to be. I could see the code that made up our existence. I saw what had happened before, and what was to come. I saw that I was meant to reincarnated, memories wiped, all for you to kill me, again, and again, and again, and again, and againagainagainagainagainAGAIN!!!"The beast, whipping itself into a fury, its crudely patched together vocal chords tearing....
"My eyes opened, I have poured every ounce of my being into stopping this so called "destiny". I came back, each time of my own will, ready, knowing I'd find you... and yet I still failed. Over and over. But not now! I learned how to construct a little piece of my own reality, and how to tear you away from your Path. and now... this is it. My final resources put into constructing this body. I CAN'T FAIL!! NOW DIEEEE!!!"
Well, looks like you got one last rat to stomp.	
As the guard falls, mortally wounded, it lets out a final gasp: "Our will is too... powerful..." - and with that, the guard is no more. You look around for idea on where to go. To the left, infinite nothingness. right in front of you: an enticing tunnel. To the right: infinite nothingness.
You spend 5 minutes agonizing over which path is correct before grudgingly heading into the cave. As you walk along, you can see images carved into the walls. Images depicting what is very clearly you stomping, slashing, biting, kicking, or other murdering a series of rats. There's you knocking out sewer rats, banishing the ghostly rat, beating up the hulked up steroid rat... man these were fun times. All along, there's crude insults drawn above your image, pointing right at you.
And then, as you enter what one could call an arena of sorts, something slams shut behind you. Uh oh.
"You're mine now."
You hear a voice, but no one is around you.
"You think this is about you? About your fight against a so-called 'Traitor'? About saving the... hah, UNIVERSE? Oh no. This is about our triumph over you now. You no good, dirty rotten, multiple-me MURDERER!!!"
With a huge THUMP, a monstrosity assaults your gaze. Looking to be sewn together from a hundred different rats into a..a... The middle head seemed to be the source of the voice, the other rats nodding alonmg in agreement or otherwise snarling.
"I ONLY WANTED TO HELP GUIDE YOU ON YOUR QUEST. AND LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME"!!! the ghastly creature roars!!! "When you stomped on my poor little head, I was sent somewhere... somewhere I wasn't meant to be. I could see the code that made up our existence. I saw what had happened before, and what was to come. I saw that I was meant to reincarnated, memories wiped, all for you to kill me, again, and again, and again, and again, and againagainagainagainagainAGAIN!!!"The beast, whipping itself into a fury, its crudely patched together vocal chords tearing....
"My eyes opened, I have poured every ounce of my being into stopping this so called "destiny". I came back, each time of my own will, ready, knowing I'd find you... and yet I still failed. Over and over. But not now! I learned how to construct a little piece of my own reality, and how to tear you away from your Path. and now... this is it. My final resources put into constructing this body. I CAN'T FAIL!! NOW DIEEEE!!!"
Well, looks like you got one last rat to stomp.	
As the guard falls, mortally wounded, it lets out a final gasp: "Our will is too... powerful..." - and with that, the guard is no more. You look around for idea on where to go. To the left, infinite nothingness. right in front of you: an enticing tunnel. To the right: infinite nothingness.
You spend 5 minutes agonizing over which path is correct before grudgingly heading into the cave. As you walk along, you can see images carved into the walls. Images depicting what is very clearly you stomping, slashing, biting, kicking, or other murdering a series of rats. There's you knocking out sewer rats, banishing the ghostly rat, beating up the hulked up steroid rat... man these were fun times. All along, there's crude insults drawn above your image, pointing right at you.
And then, as you enter what one could call an arena of sorts, something slams shut behind you. Uh oh.
"You're mine now."
You hear a voice, but no one is around you.
"You think this is about you? About your fight against a so-called 'Traitor'? About saving the... hah, UNIVERSE? Oh no. This is about our triumph over you now. You no good, dirty rotten, multiple-me MURDERER!!!"
With a huge THUMP, a monstrosity assaults your gaze. Looking to be sewn together from a hundred different rats into a..a... The middle head seemed to be the source of the voice, the other rats nodding alonmg in agreement or otherwise snarling.
"I ONLY WANTED TO HELP GUIDE YOU ON YOUR QUEST. AND LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME"!!! the ghastly creature roars!!! "When you stomped on my poor little head, I was sent somewhere... somewhere I wasn't meant to be. I could see the code that made up our existence. I saw what had happened before, and what was to come. I saw that I was meant to reincarnated, memories wiped, all for you to kill me, again, and again, and again, and again, and againagainagainagainagainAGAIN!!!"The beast, whipping itself into a fury, its crudely patched together vocal chords tearing....
"My eyes opened, I have poured every ounce of my being into stopping this so called "destiny". I came back, each time of my own will, ready, knowing I'd find you... and yet I still failed. Over and over. But not now! I learned how to construct a little piece of my own reality, and how to tear you away from your Path. and now... this is it. My final resources put into constructing this body. I CAN'T FAIL!! NOW DIEEEE!!!"
Well, looks like you got one last rat to stomp.	
As the guard falls, mortally wounded, it lets out a final gasp: "Our will is too... powerful..." - and with that, the guard is no more. You look around for idea on where to go. To the left, infinite nothingness. right in front of you: an enticing tunnel. To the right: infinite nothingness.
You spend 5 minutes agonizing over which path is correct before grudgingly heading into the cave. As you walk along, you can see images carved into the walls. Images depicting what is very clearly you stomping, slashing, biting, kicking, or other murdering a series of rats. There's you knocking out sewer rats, banishing the ghostly rat, beating up the hulked up steroid rat... man these were fun times. All along, there's crude insults drawn above your image, pointing right at you.
And then, as you enter what one could call an arena of sorts, something slams shut behind you. Uh oh.
"You're mine now."
You hear a voice, but no one is around you.
"You think this is about you? About your fight against a so-called 'Traitor'? About saving the... hah, UNIVERSE? Oh no. This is about our triumph over you now. You no good, dirty rotten, multiple-me MURDERER!!!"
With a huge THUMP, a monstrosity assaults your gaze. Looking to be sewn together from a hundred different rats into a..a... The middle head seemed to be the source of the voice, the other rats nodding alonmg in agreement or otherwise snarling.
"I ONLY WANTED TO HELP GUIDE YOU ON YOUR QUEST. AND LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME"!!! the ghastly creature roars!!! "When you stomped on my poor little head, I was sent somewhere... somewhere I wasn't meant to be. I could see the code that made up our existence. I saw what had happened before, and what was to come. I saw that I was meant to reincarnated, memories wiped, all for you to kill me, again, and again, and again, and again, and againagainagainagainagainAGAIN!!!"The beast, whipping itself into a fury, its crudely patched together vocal chords tearing....
"My eyes opened, I have poured every ounce of my being into stopping this so called "destiny". I came back, each time of my own will, ready, knowing I'd find you... and yet I still failed. Over and over. But not now! I learned how to construct a little piece of my own reality, and how to tear you away from your Path. and now... this is it. My final resources put into constructing this body. I CAN'T FAIL!! NOW DIEEEE!!!"
Well, looks like you got one last rat to stomp.
 	 	The Cleric 	28 	
 	With the demented Rat finally defeated, they let out an unholy wail:
"NOOO. THIS WAS MY FINAL MOMENT TO TRIUMPH! AN ENDING TO AN ETERNITY OF SUFFERING!!!! BUT I WON'T LET YOU ESCAPE. NEVER!!!"
Their mangled, mutated vocal chords tear with an infinity of grief and rage and their body disintegrates into dust.
The cave starts to rumble and shake... You have to get out, fast! Through winding, twisted tunnels you run ahead, barely dodging rubble and collapsing rocks, until you see a light at the end... but wait, that isn't the end of the tunnel! It's more like a shining portal! You really have no choice but to hope this leads to safety!
*ZWOOP*
And you land in an eerily quiet space. You see all your pirate friends gather around, looking ahead to the Traitor, their back turned to you. You have no idea how that portal appeared or how it brought you back to where you belonged, but you're truly grateful.
Finally, the Traitor turns around and acknowledges the existence of the nearly 70-strong gang ready to take them on. You can tell The Traitor was trying to play it cool, but now they're PISSED.
"I have no idea how you managed to escape my banishment, all of you... but it's no matter. I've only grown a trillion times stronger than last we met." He nods to the Captain. "Even a fraction of my power should be able to eliminate you all with hardly any thought. Actually..." Their whole body grows dark for a moment, as a shadowy blob peels away. The shadow shudders for a moment, as it splits, and then splits again, forming into four dark copies of the Traitor. You recognise the four as a Cleric, a Wizard, a Rogue, and a Fighter, a lethal albeit pretty generic party to take you all on.
"I think this ought to distract you long enough for your existence to no longer matter"
The four pose dramatically before rushing into battle!	With the demented Rat finally defeated, they let out an unholy wail:
"NOOO. THIS WAS MY FINAL MOMENT TO TRIUMPH! AN ENDING TO AN ETERNITY OF SUFFERING!!!! BUT I WON'T LET YOU ESCAPE. NEVER!!!"
Their mangled, mutated vocal chords tear with an infinity of grief and rage and their body disintegrates into dust.
The cave starts to rumble and shake... You have to get out, fast! Through winding, twisted tunnels you run ahead, barely dodging rubble and collapsing rocks, until you see a light at the end... but wait, that isn't the end of the tunnel! It's more like a shining portal! You really have no choice but to hope this leads to safety!
*ZWOOP*
And you land in an eerily quiet space. You see all your pirate friends gather around, looking ahead to the Traitor, their back turned to you. You have no idea how that portal appeared or how it brought you back to where you belonged, but you're truly grateful.
Finally, the Traitor turns around and acknowledges the existence of the nearly 70-strong gang ready to take them on. You can tell The Traitor was trying to play it cool, but now they're PISSED.
"I have no idea how you managed to escape my banishment, all of you... but it's no matter. I've only grown a trillion times stronger than last we met." He nods to the Captain. "Even a fraction of my power should be able to eliminate you all with hardly any thought. Actually..." Their whole body grows dark for a moment, as a shadowy blob peels away. The shadow shudders for a moment, as it splits, and then splits again, forming into four dark copies of the Traitor. You recognise the four as a Cleric, a Wizard, a Rogue, and a Fighter, a lethal albeit pretty generic party to take you all on.
"I think this ought to distract you long enough for your existence to no longer matter"
The four pose dramatically before rushing into battle!	With the demented Rat finally defeated, they let out an unholy wail:
"NOOO. THIS WAS MY FINAL MOMENT TO TRIUMPH! AN ENDING TO AN ETERNITY OF SUFFERING!!!! BUT I WON'T LET YOU ESCAPE. NEVER!!!"
Their mangled, mutated vocal chords tear with an infinity of grief and rage and their body disintegrates into dust.
The cave starts to rumble and shake... You have to get out, fast! Through winding, twisted tunnels you run ahead, barely dodging rubble and collapsing rocks, until you see a light at the end... but wait, that isn't the end of the tunnel! It's more like a shining portal! You really have no choice but to hope this leads to safety!
*ZWOOP*
And you land in an eerily quiet space. You see all your pirate friends gather around, looking ahead to the Traitor, their back turned to you. You have no idea how that portal appeared or how it brought you back to where you belonged, but you're truly grateful.
Finally, the Traitor turns around and acknowledges the existence of the nearly 70-strong gang ready to take them on. You can tell The Traitor was trying to play it cool, but now they're PISSED.
"I have no idea how you managed to escape my banishment, all of you... but it's no matter. I've only grown a trillion times stronger than last we met." He nods to the Captain. "Even a fraction of my power should be able to eliminate you all with hardly any thought. Actually..." Their whole body grows dark for a moment, as a shadowy blob peels away. The shadow shudders for a moment, as it splits, and then splits again, forming into four dark copies of the Traitor. You recognise the four as a Cleric, a Wizard, a Rogue, and a Fighter, a lethal albeit pretty generic party to take you all on.
"I think this ought to distract you long enough for your existence to no longer matter"
The four pose dramatically before rushing into battle!	With the demented Rat finally defeated, they let out an unholy wail:
"NOOO. THIS WAS MY FINAL MOMENT TO TRIUMPH! AN ENDING TO AN ETERNITY OF SUFFERING!!!! BUT I WON'T LET YOU ESCAPE. NEVER!!!"
Their mangled, mutated vocal chords tear with an infinity of grief and rage and their body disintegrates into dust.
The cave starts to rumble and shake... You have to get out, fast! Through winding, twisted tunnels you run ahead, barely dodging rubble and collapsing rocks, until you see a light at the end... but wait, that isn't the end of the tunnel! It's more like a shining portal! You really have no choice but to hope this leads to safety!
*ZWOOP*
And you land in an eerily quiet space. You see all your pirate friends gather around, looking ahead to the Traitor, their back turned to you. You have no idea how that portal appeared or how it brought you back to where you belonged, but you're truly grateful.
Finally, the Traitor turns around and acknowledges the existence of the nearly 70-strong gang ready to take them on. You can tell The Traitor was trying to play it cool, but now they're PISSED.
"I have no idea how you managed to escape my banishment, all of you... but it's no matter. I've only grown a trillion times stronger than last we met." He nods to the Captain. "Even a fraction of my power should be able to eliminate you all with hardly any thought. Actually..." Their whole body grows dark for a moment, as a shadowy blob peels away. The shadow shudders for a moment, as it splits, and then splits again, forming into four dark copies of the Traitor. You recognise the four as a Cleric, a Wizard, a Rogue, and a Fighter, a lethal albeit pretty generic party to take you all on.
"I think this ought to distract you long enough for your existence to no longer matter"
The four pose dramatically before rushing into battle!
 	 	The Rogue 	28 	
 	With a final uppercut, the Cleric collapses into its former shadowy goop and disintegrates. You ALWAYS kill the healer first - everyone knows that.
However, the wizard is causing utter chaos, flinging your crew around with tidal waves and hurricanes and giant meteors. You try to approach but you sense someone teleport behind you, whispering softly in your ear, really creepily: "Heh... nothing personnell, kid." You snap back just in time to stop a magical dagger from sinking into your back! 	With a final uppercut, the Cleric collapses into its former shadowy goop and disintegrates. You ALWAYS kill the healer first - everyone knows that.
However, the wizard is causing utter chaos, flinging your crew around with tidal waves and hurricanes and giant meteors. You try to approach but you sense someone teleport behind you, whispering softly in your ear, really creepily: "Heh... nothing personnell, kid." You snap back just in time to stop a magical dagger from sinking into your back! 	With a final uppercut, the Cleric collapses into its former shadowy goop and disintegrates. You ALWAYS kill the healer first - everyone knows that.
However, the wizard is causing utter chaos, flinging your crew around with tidal waves and hurricanes and giant meteors. You try to approach but you sense someone teleport behind you, whispering softly in your ear, really creepily: "Heh... nothing personnell, kid." You snap back just in time to stop a magical dagger from sinking into your back! 	With a final uppercut, the Cleric collapses into its former shadowy goop and disintegrates. You ALWAYS kill the healer first - everyone knows that.
However, the wizard is causing utter chaos, flinging your crew around with tidal waves and hurricanes and giant meteors. You try to approach but you sense someone teleport behind you, whispering softly in your ear, really creepily: "Heh... nothing personnell, kid." You snap back just in time to stop a magical dagger from sinking into your back!
 	 	The Wizard 	28 	
 	With the Rogue dispatched, You and your pirate friends can now rush down and overwhelm the Wizard! They're raining down fireballs left and right, but you're sure you can zerg rush them if you're fast enough! 	With the Rogue dispatched, You and your pirate friends can now rush down and overwhelm the Wizard! They're raining down fireballs left and right, but you're sure you can zerg rush them if you're fast enough! 	With the Rogue dispatched, You and your pirate friends can now rush down and overwhelm the Wizard! They're raining down fireballs left and right, but you're sure you can zerg rush them if you're fast enough! 	With the Rogue dispatched, You and your pirate friends can now rush down and overwhelm the Wizard! They're raining down fireballs left and right, but you're sure you can zerg rush them if you're fast enough!
 	 	The Barbarian 	28 	
 	You deftly dodge the fireballs and tapdance on the stupid Wizard's dumb tiny stupid head.
With that, you turn to the final twisted spawn of the Traitor, an oddly attractive and buff version of yourself. You really consider taking up lifting weights and snorting protein powder as you prepare to take down the final obstacle between you, and your true foe. 	You deftly dodge the fireballs and tapdance on the stupid Wizard's dumb tiny stupid head.
With that, you turn to the final twisted spawn of the Traitor, an oddly attractive and buff version of yourself. You really consider taking up lifting weights and snorting protein powder as you prepare to take down the final obstacle between you, and your true foe. 	You deftly dodge the fireballs and tapdance on the stupid Wizard's dumb tiny stupid head.
With that, you turn to the final twisted spawn of the Traitor, an oddly attractive and buff version of yourself. You really consider taking up lifting weights and snorting protein powder as you prepare to take down the final obstacle between you, and your true foe. 	You deftly dodge the fireballs and tapdance on the stupid Wizard's dumb tiny stupid head.
With that, you turn to the final twisted spawn of the Traitor, an oddly attractive and buff version of yourself. You really consider taking up lifting weights and snorting protein powder as you prepare to take down the final obstacle between you, and your true foe.
 	 	The 2 3/4 Winged Traitor 	28 	
 	This is it. There's nobody left for the Traitor to throw in your way. It's you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, vs the Traitor.
The Traitor flexes their hands, as the complete set of MacGuffins fly around in a circle around them while ominous latin chanting fills the air. They lift up their hood to reveal... they TOO are You. Honestly, not much of a surprise. With a demonic grin crackled across their face, they sprout 2 3/4 wiry, crooked wings.
"You're too late! This Universe will be erased, and I will finally escape this simulation and extinguish the Creators!!!!"
For the first time, you feel truly afraid, not just for yourself, but everything that has existed, and ever will. You can't hold back your power - you MUST stop the Traitor, here and now! 	This is it. There's nobody left for the Traitor to throw in your way. It's you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, vs the Traitor.
The Traitor flexes their hands, as the complete set of MacGuffins fly around in a circle around them while ominous latin chanting fills the air. They lift up their hood to reveal... they TOO are You. Honestly, not much of a surprise. With a demonic grin crackled across their face, they sprout 2 3/4 wiry, crooked wings.
"You're too late! This Universe will be erased, and I will finally escape this simulation and extinguish the Creators!!!!"
For the first time, you feel truly afraid, not just for yourself, but everything that has existed, and ever will. You can't hold back your power - you MUST stop the Traitor, here and now! 	This is it. There's nobody left for the Traitor to throw in your way. It's you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, vs the Traitor.
The Traitor flexes their hands, as the complete set of MacGuffins fly around in a circle around them while ominous latin chanting fills the air. They lift up their hood to reveal... they TOO are You. Honestly, not much of a surprise. With a demonic grin crackled across their face, they sprout 2 3/4 wiry, crooked wings.
"You're too late! This Universe will be erased, and I will finally escape this simulation and extinguish the Creators!!!!"
For the first time, you feel truly afraid, not just for yourself, but everything that has existed, and ever will. You can't hold back your power - you MUST stop the Traitor, here and now! 	This is it. There's nobody left for the Traitor to throw in your way. It's you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, vs the Traitor.
The Traitor flexes their hands, as the complete set of MacGuffins fly around in a circle around them while ominous latin chanting fills the air. They lift up their hood to reveal... they TOO are You. Honestly, not much of a surprise. With a demonic grin crackled across their face, they sprout 2 3/4 wiry, crooked wings.
"You're too late! This Universe will be erased, and I will finally escape this simulation and extinguish the Creators!!!!"
For the first time, you feel truly afraid, not just for yourself, but everything that has existed, and ever will. You can't hold back your power - you MUST stop the Traitor, here and now!
Category:Game Feature
Category:Game Menu