Not-Joe's HFB Reaction Part 1

* Dramatic Narrator: "Previously on the wacky life of GhostSponge2…"
* Not-Joe: "Episode 31 "Surfin' [the web] - [ Good ] - Funny cameos, brings back flashes of the bad computer days… Episode 32 "Closing" - [ Good ] - It's clear to me, HFB has improved since season one."
* . … . ….
* Not-Joe came out of a curtain, saying: "Salutations, fellow squids and undecided! My name is Not-Joe, aka… GhostSponge3!!! It's been approximately thirteen months since I last looked at Hoopla's Fantastic Beach in THIS blog post, and so much has happened since, I lost my mind, but now I'm back, and today I'll be reviewing all episodes of Hoopla's Fantastic Beach that came out since the last time I did one of these multi-episodes Hoopla's Fantastic Beach review things! I won't be doing things the exact same way as I did before… I'm not gonna be legitimately reviewing these episodes, because I'm not entirely comfortable reviewing fanon work on a SpongeBob wiki as if it's some professional television series, so this time I'll be reacting to parts of each new episode. Almost like Mr. Enter, but nonviolent. Also, one more thing! I don't remember much of what happened in the previous episodes of HFB that I've read, so if I were to even critique these newer episodes as being a continuation to the previous parts of the larger narrative of Hoopla guy, it wouldn't work. With that out of the way now, here we go!"
(Continuing from the previous episode, Hoopla ends up on the other side of the wormhole into a new dimension)
* Not-Joe: "Oh thank god! I needed that!"
Hoopla: (looks around) Oh it looks fine- Oh good god never mind. I gotta hide.
* Not-Joe: "I've had the same reaction trying to confront my crush at school."
(The camera pans across the town of Bikini Bottom, large parts of it being destroyed and set on fire. Hoopla spots an abandoned store with several broken windows, and hides inside it)
* Not-Joe: "This is basically how the world was last year, when Google went down for an hour."
???: My name is John. Yours?
Hoopla: Hoopla.
John: Weird name.
Hoopla: Ditto. What kind of name is John?! Sounds like a giraffe's name or something.
* Not-Joe: "Also reminds me of that toilet that came to life in that episode of Teen Titans Go where all the bathrooms on Earth fly out of orbit, in rebellion to people like Dick Grayson… I used to watch that show a lot."
Hoopla: Nope. What exactly is going on right now? It feels like 90 seasons have passed up in here or something.
John: World War 4.
Hoopla: WORLD WAR 4?!!! What the hoopla?
John: Do you need a moment to-
Hoopla: Nah, I've seen weirder.
* Not-Joe: "Heh."
Hoopla: Fine, I’ll help your cause. What do you want me to do?
John: You could look around for some weapons to supply for us.
* Not-Joe: "I wouldn't trust Hoopla with advanced weaponry."
Hoopla: You’re telling me you barely had any weapons before this?! You’re going into a war, and you have to rely on ME of all people?!
John: Umm… yeah…
* John sat next to Not-Joe on a couch, watching HFB on a television. Not-Joe turned to John.
* Not-Joe: "You haven't watched the previous episodes, have you?"
* John: "...No."
Fred: Cross-overed? I think you’ve been going a little cuckoo lately.
* Not-Joe: "So have I. It's something I'm working on."
Fred: I think I know what I must do with Hoopla.
Access soldier: What?
Fred: Kill him.
Access soldier: That went dark fast… I like it.
* Not-Joe: "And that would fit really well in an epic movie trailer for Hoopla's Fantastic Beach."
John: Quick Hoopla! Catch this! (he throws Hoopla a sharp dagger) I only use it for emergencies like these. Use it!
Hoopla: I’ll try.
* Not-Joe: "Imagine if that part went like this…"
* John: "Quick Hoopla! Catch this!"
* He threw a sharp dagger to Hoopla.
* Hoopla lunged towards the sharp dagger tossed in the air, saying: "I got it! I got it!"
* The dagger then went through Hoopla's chest, and he fell on his side, with blood leaking everywhere.
* Not-Joe sat next to John on the couch, grinning ear to ear.
* John: "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
John: The diamond sword? This is something important to fight over.
Hoopla: I know, right?
John: I gotta get in on this action!
Hoopla: I was being sarcasti-
John: Too late now. (he gets involved in the sword tug of war)
Patrick: We all know it’s mine!
SpongeBob: No, it’s mine!
John: You guys are worthless. It’s obviously mine!
Patrick: You've already had enough screen time! Give some of it to-
* Not-Joe: "I also exist."
* … .. …
SpongeBob: I’m gonna send you and Patrick to Galleon Pass.
Hoopla: What’s Galleon Pass?
SpongeBob: It’s some body of water in the Davao Sea Region.
Hoopla: I’m just gonna pretend what that is, too. Also, why Patrick?
* Not-Joe: "I too so confused, I'm making grammatical errors."
Hoopla: You’re drinking air.
Patrick: But we’re underwater.
Hoopla: Oh yeah. Just forget it then.
* Not-Joe: "But anything's possible with SpongeBob logic!"
* The scene cut to Not-Joe sitting in front of an underwater campfire, next to Patrick, Fred, and the Grim Reaper(holding a spear).
* Not-Joe (grinned): "Smores anyone?"
* Grim Reaper: "I'm just waiting for you to be done."
SC: It’s the only way.
(A timer for the nuke starts. It’s 10 minutes)
SC: Should be just enough time.
(SC runs back to the bunker to get his turbo-speed sub, runs back, and gets ready to control it)
SpongeBob: SC, what are you doing?!
SC: It’s for our own good, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Nooo!
(SC gets in the sub, and crashes into the nuke just as it hits 0:01. The nuke doesn’t explode, but SC gets killed in the process.)
SpongeBob: Not SC! I must avenge him… Elliot, you’re next.
(SpongeBob cuts Elliot’s throat somewhat off-screen)
Hoopla: My eyes!
* Not-Joe with his eyes really wide: "This is actually intense."
(Continuing from the last episode, Hoopla enters the “death” dimension)
Hoopla: (falls onto the ground) Oof! That felt like an entire year. Oh well, at least I didn’t die. So...a death dimension. This can’t be too bad. I can handle some skulls and a few blood drops.
* Not-Joe: "That's what they all say..."
(Hoopla walks a few blocks and notices a depressed looking Carl)
Hoopla: Hey Carl, how’s it going?
Carl: Don’t… ask…
* Not-Joe: "WHO JOE IS!!! Sorry… I know that was a cringy outburst… I just had to…"
Hoopla: Why is everyone around here so bummed out? Maybe…(gasp) THIS IS A WORLD WITHOUT CHEERIOS!
(This episode is sponsored by Cheerios)
* Not-Joe: "HAHAHA!"
Hoopla: You’re kidding right?
Woopla: Nope, he’s a literal golf ball. And his associates.
Hoopla: This golf ball guy sounds familiar. I think I’m gonna go talk to him.
* Not-Joe: "Golf ball… Associates… Donald Trump?!"
Hoopla: Okay, that’s it. I’m marching straight into this stupid golf ball’s government, and there’s nothing anybody can do to stop me!
Government building guard: I’m gonna have to stop you.
Hoopla: Die.
Government building guard: Oh no, you’ll die soon enough. Just not at this moment.
Hoopla: Wait wut
* The End.
* Released by Box Productions. 
* Written by CrazySponge, FireMatch-
Hoopla: RUN OUT OF THE WAY!
Alternate dimension Hoopla: Meh. (falls face-flat)
House: ME GONNA GO BOOM!
Hoopla: (facepalms)
* Not-Joe: "This is a quite hilarious scene."
Golf Ball: We use very peaceful tactics to find out information. (punches Hoopla) WHERE DID YOU GET THIS SUBSTANCE?! (punch) WHY IS IT INSIDE YOU? (punch) WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
* Not-Joe: "I know I don't need to react to every HFB joke, but I just wanna say, this show has great comedy."
Bloxyl: Alright, the next dimension is my favorite. It’s truly magical.
Hoopla: Just...get it over with.
* Not-Joe: "That new live action Disney remake has me this hyped."
Hoopla: Are you one of them?
Humpty Dumpty: Nope. (falls down and dies)
* Not-Joe: "There's a lot of death in this show."
Witch: I was able to sense the darkness inside you. The tale of the Shadow Monster is incomplete. No one truly knows who and what it is. All we knew was that somewhere, throughout all the dimensions, the gods locked up a being made purely of shadow, a being so powerful that if unleashed, it could destroy all worlds. Anyone who tried looking for it never returned. Except you. Somehow, you found it. And it has deemed you as a worthy host, as it has been slowly taking over you. Once it fully takes over and becomes a 3D being once again, it is hopeless.
Hoopla: Oh man…
Witch: (nods) It’s a lot to take in.
* Not-Joe: "Just a little bit… I'm not one to judge though. I've written equally as long dialogue."
Squidward: So are we ready to see another universe? Hey wait would that whole universe where our lives were a TV show count as an alternate universe?
Crayons: It sure would. A weird universe at that, it makes me uncomfortable that people get entertainment out of watching our lives.
* Not-Joe: "Yeah, well someone's always watching you… Reading about you… Things that you say." 
* Not-Joe: (○_○)
* . .. …
Crayons: RUN!
Glitch Monster: Get back here!
(The Glitch Monster is able to grab Security)
Security: Ah, well, I’ll just stay here I guess.
* Not-Joe: "We all have our own place in the universe… Mine is the man whom shall forever be known as the JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CHRIST guy… It's kinda sad, really…"
Security: No but I was tortured with endless movie quotes. I don’t think I’m capable of fighting after that. I’ll just stay here with you.
* Not-Joe: "You'll get your ability to fight back when you FIX THIS DAMN DOOR!!!"
Tony: Tony
(laugh track)
* Not-Joe: "Not-Joe..."
* Cricket: "Chirp, chirp, chirp."
* Not-Joe: "OH COME ON! HOW'S IT NOT FUNNY WHEN I SAY MY OWN NAME?!"
Waitress: Hello sir, what are you having on this fine day?
Hoopla: (looking at menu) Uhh do you have any Cheerios?
Waitress: (laughs) You’re a card. I’ll come back when you’re ready to order.
Hoopla: N-no… Ch-cheerios? I gotta get outta here!
* Not-Joe: "I get it. It's a callback to an earlier episode… Well, either that, or CrazySponge just really loves Cheerios and thinks about them often. Personally, I really love Goldfish. That actually became a bit of a problem when I was a little kid. I used to eat them ALL the time. But not anymore."
Person: No no no n oonnonoo O O9((!(#@)@ *#& SHSCcvvzzhzzzhz. , ,,. (disappears)
* Not-Joe: "Shut up! Pattinson's gonna make a great Batman! People had the same reaction to Ben Affleck!"
Hoopla: Okay, we’re back, so now talk normally.
(The two people suddenly transform. One is made up of green triangles and the other is made out of blue circles. They’re both wearing some kind of wooden masks.)
* Not-Joe: "This is really wacky!"
Hoopla: AAH! WHAT’S GOING ON?! I NEED A REALLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR WHAT JUST HAPPENED! THIS IS INSANE! I BLAME IT FOR EVERYTHING!
(Hoopla keeps falling through dimensions as the episode ends)
* Not-Joe was sitting on the edge of a wooden chair, watching HFB on the TV.
* Not-Joe: "OH MY GOSH!"
* Not-Joe fell forward and the legs of the chair snapped in half.
(The episode starts with Hoopla falling through tons of different timelines and dimensions)
Hoopla: I AM SO CONFUSED! AND REALLY DIZZY!
* Not-Joe: "I'm feeling dizzy too, and I'm really invested right now!"
Hoopla: Oh great. I wonder where I’m gonna end up.
(Hoopla falls into a clothing dimension)
Hoopla: I said “where”, not “wear”!
(Hoopla then falls into golden dimension)
Hoopla: Ooh this is pretty nice actually.
(Hoopla starts turning into gold)
Hoopla: Hehe, actually, nevermind that.
* Not-Joe: "Now I'm actually wondering what it would feel like to turn into gold. Probably not fun… At least now we have fictional money instead, to prevent that from happening."
Patties #1, #2, #3 and #4: NO! BRIA- (SpongeBob takes a bite of the patty)
Patty #1: (a single tear falls) He had a great life…
Patty #2: It hurts, bro, it hurts.
Hoopla: You know what, I’m not gonna question why I got sent to a dimension with random talking patties.
Patty #1: wait wut
* The End.
* Released by Box Productions. 
* Written by CrazySponge, FireMatch.
* Directed b-
Hoopla: You really hate music, don’t you? Reminds me of someone…
* Not-Joe: "I know! Bubbles the Talking Dolphin! Wait, maybe not…"
(Hoopla looks down at his shirt to see that his entire body is covered in shadow energy, and it is quickly coming up to his neck. The episode ends with Hoopla giving a frightened look)
* Not-Joe looked unconcerned, and sipped a cup of coffee, watching the TV.
* Not-Joe: "Just a typical Friday night- Saturday night! I don't believe in Fridays."
(Flashback to Surf’s Up!)
Surfer: Y’know, this beach you have gotten stuck on, is actually the birthplace of King Neptun-
* Not-Joe: "Cool! The first episode! It's all come full circle!.. When will I be born?.."
King Noir: That’s right, everyone. I’m UNDEFEATABLE! And I’m here to rule the seventeen seas!
Hoopla: Hey I thought there were seven-
* Not-Joe: "Nine, actually! Well, two were sucked up by a wormhole opened by a machine powered by peanut butter, built by a gorilla wearing a top hat… It's a long story!"
Hoopla: Then let’s just jump right into it. How are we gonna break down the wall?
Iris: Well, I’ll be able to get Bloxyl to do something on her computers that will break down the wall.
Bloxyl: Seriously?! I’m trying to make sure this place does NOT get destroyed!
Iris: And when that happens, the gods will unfreeze, and we’ll have to get Noir pushed out into the open. But we must be careful, the outside will be trying to suck us out with force. If anything, even something little, goes wrong, then we are doomed.
* Not-Joe: "All of the jokes about Hoopla's Fantastic Beach aside, this series is very creative."
Cirxyl: We watch the timelines better than ever now.
Trixyl: He only thinks he’s done because he’s defeated the strongest. That it cannot be topped.
Cirxyl: He may be right. It may not be topped.
Trixyl: But it will keep happening. It does not simply stop.
Cirxyl: There is more to come. It’s the calm before the storm for him now.
Trixyl: But the storm will come. It will eventually. He will just have to wait and see.
Cirxyl: What happens next...is even more undefeatable.
Trixyl: But we will not interfere.
Cirxyl: The storm will come anyway.
Trixyl: His next enemy…
Cirxyl: Is on the horizon.
(To be continued in Season 4.)
* The scene cut to Not-Joe standing in a living room, watching HFB on TV.
* Not-Joe: (○-○)
* Not-Joe: …
* Not-Joe: "WHO'S HIS NEXT ENEMY?!!! Well, I guess I'll find that out in my next Hoopla's Fantastic Beach reaction when Season 4 comes out. Until then, this has been Not-Joe, aka GhostSponge3…"
* Suddenly a masked figure shot Not-Joe from behind his back, and Not-Joe fell straight forward, with blood pouring out of his body! The masked figure put the gun in his pocket and ran over to Not-Joe(who's laying on the floor) and bent over, taking his mask off his head, revealing himself to also be Not-Joe! He put two of his fingers on the unconscious Not-Joe's neck.
* The conscious Not-Joe put two of his other fingers on a communication bug in his ear, saying: "He's dead."
* To be continued...
Category:Transcripts
Category:Not-Joe