The Aristocats/Transcript

Singer: Which pets' address is the finest in Paris? Which pets possess the longest pedigree? Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? Naturellement! The Aristocats! Which pets are blessed with the fairest forms and faces? Which pets know best all the gentle social graces? Which pets live on cream and loving pats? Naturellement! The Aristocats! They show aristocatic bearing. When they're seen upon an airing. And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Aristocats are never found in alley ways or hanging around. The garbage cans where common kitties play. Oh, no! Which pets are known to never show their claws? Which pets are prone to hardly any flaws? To which pets do the others tip their hats? Naturellement! The Aristocats! Ho, ho, ho! Aristocats... Aristocats, ils sont toujours
Même quand ils font un petit tour
Toujours précieux
Là où ils vont
Ils sont fièrs de leur éducation
Dédaignant les ruelles
Ils préfèrent les bars aux poubelles
Dont se contentent, trop vulgaires
Les chats de gouttière, oh pouah!
Quels miaous réprouvent les gros mots?
Quels chats chouchous s'estiment sans défauts?
Et devant qui, les autres chats tirent leurs chapeaux?
Mais naturellement!
Mais naturellement, voyons!
Oh, mais naturellement!
Les aristocats!
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Marie, my little one, you're going to be as beautiful as your mother. Isn't she, Duchess?
Duchess: [ Meowing ]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen] Careful, Toulouse! [Laughing] You're making it very difficult for Edgar. [Laughing]
Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. Steady, girl.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Thank you, Edgar. Oh.
Frou-Frou: [offscreen; Neighs]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Of course, Frou-Frou, I almost forgot.
Edgar Balthazar: Madame, uh-- May I take your parcel, Madame? It really is much too heavy for you, Madame.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Now, tut-tut, Edgar. Don't fuss over me.
Berlioz: [Meowing]
Duchess: Berlioz, come back here. Haven'tyou forgotten something for Frou-Frou, darling?
Berlioz: Thank you, Miss Frou-Frou, for letting me ride on your back.
Frou-Frou: [ Chuckles ] You're quite welcome, young man.
Berlioz: How was that, Mama?
Duchess: Very good, darling. That was very nice of you.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Come along, Duchess. Kittens, come along! Oh, and, Edgar, I'm expecting my attorney, Georges Hautecourt. You remember him, of course.
Edgar Balthazar: Of course, Madame. How could I forget him?
[ Car Engine Sputtering, Backfiring ]
[ Switch Clicks, Engine Backfiires ]
Georges Hautecourt: [ Singing ] Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay [ Humming ] Oh. [ Humming ] Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-- Oops! [ Chuckles ] Not as spry as I was when I was 80, eh? I almost fell. [ Singing ] Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay [Humming]
Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good day, sir. Madame is expecting you, sir.
Georges Hautecourt: Evening. Evening, Edgar. [ Singing ] Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
Edgar Balthazar: Oh, another ringer, sir. You never miss.
Georges Hautecourt: [ Laughing ] Come on, Edgar. Last one up the stairs is a nincompoop.
Edgar Balthazar: Could we take the elevator this time, sir?
Georges Hautecourt: [ Laughing ] That bird cage? Poppycock, man! Elevators are for old people. Alright? Oops!
Edgar Balthazar: Oh, uh-- May I give you a hand, sir?
Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot, have you, Edgar? [ Laughing ] That always makes me laugh, sir. Yes. [ Forced Chuckle ] Every time.
Edgar Balthazar: Whoa! Oh!
Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man!
Edgar Balthazar: Careful, sir. Oh, please! I'm frightfully sorry, sir!
Georges Hautecourt: [Chuckling] Don't panic, Edgar. Upward and onward! Whee!
Edgar Balthazar: Oof!
Georges Hautecourt: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar?
Edgar Balthazar: Oh, please, sir, just hold on!
[ Record Playing ]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. That's better. We must both look our best for Georges when he gets here. He's our oldest and dearest friend, you know.
Duchess [Meowing]
Edgar Balthazar: [Knock On Door]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Come in.
Edgar Balthazar: [ Panting ] Announcing... Monsieur... [ Panting ] Georges... Hautecourt!
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, my goodness, Edgar. I know it's Georges.
Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, my, my dear. [Huffing]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: So good to see you, Georges.
Georges Hautecourt: Ah, still the softest hands in all of Paris, eh?
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: You're a shameless flatterer, Georges.
[ "Habahera" From Carmen ]
Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, that, that music. It's from Carmen, isn't it?
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: That's right. It was my favorite role.
Georges Hautecourt: Yes, yes! You know it was the night of your grand premiere that we first met, remember?
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, indeed I do.
Georges Hautecourt: And how we celebrated your success! Champagne, dancing the night away. [Humming Tune From Carmen]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughs] Oh, Georges!
[ Continues ]
Berlioz: [Yelps, Needle Scratching, Music Slows]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Oh, Berlioz. Oh, thank goodness.
[ Scratching ]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Just in time now! Ah, Georges. We're just a pair of sentimental old fools.
Georges Hautecourt: Right. [Humming]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Now, Georges, do you must be serious.
Georges Hautecourt: [Humming]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: I've asked you to come here... on a very important legal matter.
Georges Hautecourt: Wha--? Oh! Splendid, madame! Splendid! Who do you want me to sue, eh? [Laughing]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, come now, Georges. I don't mind if I refuse to wish you to sue anyone. I simply want to make my will.
Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Will. Well.
[ Squeaking ]
Georges Hautecourt: Now, then, madame, who are the beneficiaries?
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Well, as you know, my friend, I have no living relatives, and naturally, I want my beloved cats... to be always well whatever cared for. And certainly no one can do this better than my faithful servant, Edgar.
Georges Hautecourt: [voice] Edgar, you say? Adelaide, madame, you mean to say... you're leaving your vast fortune to Edgar? Everything you possess? Stocks and bonds? This-- Well, this mansion? You know, your country chateau? Art treasures, jewels and--
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice] No, no, no, Georges. To my cats.
Georges Hautecourt: [voice] To your cats?
Edgar Balthazar: [Gasping] Cats?!
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice] Yes, Georges. I simply wish to have the cats inherit first. Then, at the end of their life span, my entire estate will revert to Edgar.
Edgar Balthazar: Cats inherit first! And I come after the cats. I, me, after-- No. It's not fair! Ow! I mean, oh, each cat will live about 12 years. I can't wait. And each cat has nine lives. That's four times twelve. Multiplied by nine times. No, it's less than that. Anyway, it's much longer than I'd ever live. I'll be gone. No. Oh, no. They'll be gone. I'll think of a way. Why, there are a million reasons why I should! All of them dollars. Millions. Those cats have got to go!
Berlioz: Wait for me! Wait for me!
Marie: Me first! Me first!
Toulouse: Why should you be first?
Marie: Because I'm a lady, that's why.
Toulouse: Huh, you're not a lady.
Berlioz: You're nothing but a sister!
Marie: Oh!
Toulouse: Ouch! You black!
Marie: I'll show you if I'm a lady or not.
Toulouse, Marie & Berlioz [Giggling]
Marie: Stop tickling, will you?!
Toulouse: Get her, Berlioz! Get her! [gasps] Not me!
Berlioz: Fight fair, Marie!
Toulouse: Females never fiight fair. Whoa!
Marie: Ow! Now that hurt. Mama! Mama!
Duchess: Marie, darling. Please, you must stop that. This is really not lady like. And, Berlioz, well, such behaviour... is most unbecoming to a lovely gentleman.
Berlioz: Well, she started it.
Marie: Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them.
Duches: [offscreen] Berlioz, now don't be rude.
Berlioz: We were just practicing biting and clawing.
Duchess: Aristocrats do not practice biting and clawing... and things like that-- it's just horrible!
Toulouse: But you know what? Someday, we might meet a tough alley cat. [Snarling, Hissing]
[Duchess Laughs]
Toulouse: Kind like me I guess.
Duchess: Now that will do, honey. But right now it's time we concerned ourselves with self-improvement. Now, you want to grow up to be lovely, charming ladies and gentlemen. Now, Toulouse, you go and start on with your painting.
Toulouse: Yes, mama. [Hissing]
Marie: [offscreen] Mama, may we watch Toulouse paint... before we start our music lesson? Please?
Duchess [offscreen] Well--Yes, my love, but you must be very quiet.
Oops! Uh-oh.
Berlioz: Hey watch it!
Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. [Clears Throat, Muttering] Aha. [Sniffling] [Sloshing] [Splat] Yeah!
Marie: [offscreen, giggles] It's Edgar!
Berlioz: [offscreen] Yeah. Old picklepuss Edgar!
Duchess: [Laughs] "Old picklepuss who"? Now, now, Berlioz. That is not kind of you. You know Edgar is so fond of all of us... and takes very good care of us.
Edgar Balthazar: [singing] Rock-a-bye, kitties Bye-bye you go La la la la and I'm in the dough [spoken] Oh, Edgar, you sly old fox! [Humming "Rock-A-Bye-Baby"] Oops! Oh, dear! A slip of the hand and it's off to dreamland. I say, that's not at all bad. "Slip of the hand, dreamland."
Duchess: Now, Marie, let's leave Toulouse to his painting. Now, dear, you go to the piano and-- Run a long. Both of you, go ahead.
Marie: Yes, Mama.
Berlioz: Yes, Mama.
Duchess: [offscreen] It's time to practice your scales and your arpeggios.
Berlioz: Ow!
[Hitting Keys]
Marie: Like old time.
[Cracking Knuckles]
Marie: I'm ready, maestro.
Berlioz: Ready as I'll be.
Marie: Oh! Mama! He did it again!
[ Plink]
Berlioz: [Whispering] Tattletale!
Duchess: Now, Berlioz. Now, please, darling, settle down, and play me your pretty little song.
Berlioz: Yes, Mama.
Marie: [singing] Doe me so doe doe so me doe Every truly cultured music student knows You must learn your scales and your arpeggios [Catching A Breath] And the music ringing From your chest and not your nose While you sing your scales and your arpeggios
Berlioz: [singing] If you're faithful to Your daily practicing You will find your progress is encouraging Doe me so me doe me so me fa la so it goes When you do your scales and your arpeggios
Marie: [singing] Doe me so doe-- [spoken] Wait what?!
[Berlioz Plays Out Of Rhythm]
Toulouse: Now I will join you.
[Discordant Notes]
Duchess and Marie: [Singing] Doe me so doe, doe so me doe Doe me so doe doe so me doe Though at fiirst it seems as though it doesn't show Like a tree, ability will root and grow
[Toulouse Joins ln]
Toulouse: Duchess and Marie: lf you're smart you'll learn by heart What every artist knows
Duchess and Marie: You must sing your scales
Together: And your arpe-e-e-gios
[Duelling Flourishes]
[Thump]
[Discordant Notes]
[Hinge Squeaking]
Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good evening, my little ones. [Humming "Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]
[Meowing]
Edgar Balthazar: Your favorite dish prepared a very special way. It's creme de la creme ala Edgar. Sleep well. I-l mean, eat-- Eat well, of course.
[Slurp]
[Sniffing]
Roquefort: Ahem! Good evening, Duchess. Hello, kittens.
Marie: Hello, Roquefort.
Toulouse: Hi, Roquefort.
Duchess: Good evening, Monsieur Roquefort.
Roquefort: [Sniffiing] Mm! Something smells awfully good. [Chuckling, Sniffing] So, what is that appetizing smell?
Marie: It's creme de la creme a la Edgar.
Duchess: So, why won't you join us, Monsieur Roquefort?
Roquefort: Well, yes. I-l mean-- Well, I don't mean to interrupt. But-- [Chuckles] But it so happens... that... I have a cracker with me.
Berlioz: Come on, " Rodeford." Have some.
Roquefort: Oh, thank you. Don't mind if I do. Oh! It's "Roquefort". Young cat. "Roquefort".
Berlioz: [sighs] It's really hard to pronounce your name, man.
Roquefort: It's not really hard, Berlioz. And I'm not a man either. You should pronounce my name correctly.
Berlioz: Just a nickname I gave you, "Roque-fort"?
Roquefort: That's it! You've got it! Now, just a few dunks. Mm. Ooh. Very good. My compliments to the chef.
Marie: Mm! This is yummy!
Roquefort: Mm. [Smacking Lips] Delicious! Double delicious! [Chuckling] Now this calls for another cracker. I'll be right back, y'all.
Berlioz: Okay. [Yawns]
Roquefort: [Yawns] So, that's... Creme... de la creme... ala Edgar.
Edgar Balthazar: Alright: The coast is clear. While Madame and Georges are asleep. It's time to get rid of these cats all the way to Timbuktu once and for all. [Squeaking] [Clattering] Oh! My bad. [Gasping] [Laughing] It's only a tree. These pesky pets of mine will never come back. [
Napoleon:  Lafayette. Hey, Lafayette. [Grunting] Lafayette!
Lafayette: Well, I'm right here!
Napoleon: Listen. Wheels approaching.
Lafayette: Oh, but Napoleon, we done bit six tires today. We chased four motorcars and a bicycle and a scooter.
Napoleon: Hush your mouth! It's a motorcycle. Two-cylinder, chain drive. One squeakywheel on the front, it sounds like. Now, you go for the tires, Laffy and I'll go right for the seat of the problem.
Lafayette: How come you always grab the tender part for yourself, man?
Napoleon: 'Cause I outrank you, that's why. [offscreen] Now stop beatin' your gums and sound the attack!
Lafayette: [Barking]
Napoleon: No, that's mess call!
Lafayette: Made a mess of it, huh?
Napoleon: You can just be replaced, you know.
Lafayette: Okay, man, let's charge. [Grunting]
Napoleon: Wait a minute. I'm the leader! I'm the one that says when we go. Here we go. Charge!
Napoleon and Lafayette: [Barking]
[ Backfiiring ]
Edgar Balthazar: What the?! Whew! That was something. Hmm. What's this? [Screaming] Nice doggy! Nice doggy! Heel, roll over, play dead! [Screaming] Yeow! Ooh! Ahh!
Lafayette: This sure beats runnin', Napoleon.
Napoleon: You said it, Lafay--Wha--?!
Lafayette: [Laughs] [Gasps]
[ Tire Screeching ]
Napoleon: Ow!
Lafayette: Napo--whoah! [Gasping]
Napoleon: Ooch! I got him! (2x)
Lafayette: Hiya, man!
Napoleon: Lafayette! Let's catch him!
Lafayette: He's back on the moter-thingy. Step on the gas, Napoleon!
Napoleon: I got her wide open, man!
Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! [Growling]
Edgar Balthazar: Ow! Ha-ha!
[Engine Roaring, Fades ln Distance]
[Thunderclap 2x]
Duchess: Oh! Oh, where am I? I'm not at home at all. Children, where are you? Answer me please. Berlioz? Toulouse, Marie, where are you?
Marie: Here I am, Mama.
Duchess: Marie, darling. Are you all right?
Marie: Mama, l guess I had a nightmare and fell out of bed. 
Duchess: Now, Marie, darling, don't be frightened. Everyone can have nightmares sometimes. Right?
Berlioz: [offscreen] Mama! (2x)
Marie: Why that's Berlioz!
Duchess: Over here, darling. [offscreen] Berlioz, here we are. And don't worry. Everything is going to be all right.
Berlioz: I'm coming, Mama. Gee, I'm cold and I'm w-wet.
[Frog Croaking]
Berlioz: [offscreen] Hello?
[ Croaks ]
Berlioz: Who is it?
[ Loud Croak]
Berlioz: [Screaming]
Duchess: [Laughing] Oh, darling. That's only a little frog, my love. You don't need to scream.
Berlioz: But he had a mouth like a "hippolotamus."
Marie: [Croaking] [Giggling]
Berlioz: Oh, what's so funny, whitey?
Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Darlings, now you just stay here, and I'll go and I'll look for Toulouse. [offscreen] Toulouse? Toulouse, where are you?
Marie: Toulouse!
Marie and Berlioz: Toulouse!
Marie: [offscreen] Toulouse!
Toulouse: Hey, guys. What's all the yellin' about, huh?
Berlioz: Why didn't you answer?
Toulouse: Why didn't I answer? I was asleep a wink all day.
Marie: Mama! He's been here all the time.
Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. Oh, are you all right?
Toulouse: I was having a funny dream. Edgar was in it. And we were all riding and bouncing along--
[Frogs Croaking]
Toulouse: Frogs? Uh-oh. It wasn't a dream, was it?
Duchess: Edgar did this to us? Why Edgar? Tsk! Oh! Darling, why, that-- Why, that's ridiculous.
Berlioz: Yeah, man. Maybe you fell on your head.
[Thunderclap]
Marie: Oh! Mama, I'm afraid! I wanna go home!
Duchess: Now, now, my darling. Now don't be frightened.
[Thunder Crashing]
Duchess: Oh! Quick, kittens! Let's get back into the basket, all of us!
Toulouse: What's gonna happen to us?
Duchess: Well, darlings, l--I just don't know. It does look hopeless, doesn't it?
Berlioz [offscreen] I wish we were home with Madame right now.
Duchess: Oh. Poor Madame. She will be so worried when she finds us gone.
[Thunderclap]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Duchess? Kittens? Oh, my gracious! I had the most horrible dream about them. Thank goodness it was only a dream. Oh, dear, what a terrible night. Now, now, my darlings. Don't be frightened. The storm will soon pass.
[Thunderclap]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh! Oh, no! They're gone! Duchess? Kittens! Duchess! Where are you? [offscreen] They're gone. They're gone!
Roquefort: Duchess, kittens, gone? Why, that's terrible! But where? Why? Good heavens! Anything could happen to them on a night like this weather! Get-- Get washed down a storm drain. Struck by lightning. Oh, they'll need help. I've just got to find them. Duchess! Kittens!
[Thunderclap]
Roquefort: Duchess! Kittens! (2x)
[Birds Chirping, Rooster Crowing ln Distance]
O'Malley: (offscreen) I like a chee-chee-chee-chee-rony Like they make at home Or a healthy fish with a big back bone I'm... (appears) ...Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley O'Malley the alley cat I've got that wander lust Gotta walk the scene Gotta kick up highway dust Feel the grass that's green Gotta strut them city streets Showin' off my eclat Yeah Tellin'my friends of the social elite Or some cute cat I happen to meet That I'm Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley O'Malley the alley cat 
Duchess: [Laughing] Why, monsieur, your name seems to cover all of Europe.
O'Malley: Well, of course. I'm the only cat of my kind. [Singing] I'm king of the highway Prince of the boulevard
Duke of the avant-garde The world is my backyard So if you're goin' my way That's the road you wanna seek Calcutta to Rome or home, sweet home In Paris magnifique, you all
Toulouse: Oh, boy! An alley cat.
Marie: Shh! Listen.
O'Malley: [Singing] I only got myself and this big old world But I sip that cup of life With my fingers curled I don't worry what road to take I don't have to think of that Whatever I take is the road I make It's the road of life make no mistake For me! Yeah Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley O'Malley the alley cat That's right And I'm very proud of that (Spoken) Yeah!
Duchess: [Laughing] Bravo ! Very good. You are a great talent.
O'Malley: Oh, thank you. And what might your name be?
Duchess: My name is Duchess.
O'Malley: Duchess. Beautiful. Love it. And those eyes of yours. Ooh. Why, your eyes are like sapphires, sparkling so bright. You know, they make the morning radiant... and light.
Marie: How romantic!
Berlioz: Sissy stuff!
Duchess: Oh, c'est tres jolie, monsieur. Very poetic. But it is not quite Shakespeare.
O'Malley: Of course not. That's pure O'Malley, baby. [winks] Right off the cuff, yeah. I got a million of 'em.
Duchess: Oh, no more, please. I am really in a great deal of trouble.
O'Malley: Trouble? Helping beautiful dame-- uh, damsels in distress is my specialty. Now what's the hang-up, your ladyship?
Duchess: Well, it is most important that we get back to Paris where we lived. So if you would be just so kind
and show me the way.
O'Malley: Show you the way? Oh, perish the thought. We shall fly to Paris on a magic carpet, side by side,
with the stars as our guide. Just we two.
Marie: Ooh, that would be wonderful, sir!
O'Malley: Three ? (offscreen) Four. (onscreen) Five !
Duchess: (offscreen) Oh, yes, Monsieur O'Malley. These are my children. (onscreen) Please introduce yourselves to him, darlings.
Marie: Hi, I'm Marie.
Toulouse: I'm Toulouse.
Berlioz: And I'm Berlioz.
O'Malley: Oh, how sweet. I've never seen you three here before. But it's really nice to have introductions.
Berlioz: Hey, do you really have a magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malley sir?
Marie: And are we really gonna ride on it?
Duchess: Now, now, you two!
Marie: But, mama, do we have sparkling sapphire eyes that dazzle too?
O'Malley: Hoo-ooh! Did I say that?
Duchess: (offscreen; chuckling) Yes. Right off your cuff.
Berlioz: And you said we're gonna ride on your magic carpet.
O'Malley: Well, now, uh-- What I meant-- You see, l--
Duchess: No poetry to cover the situation, Monsieur O'Malley?
O'Malley: What I had in mind was a kind ofa sports model, baby. You know, I mean, one ofthose--
Duchess: Perhaps! Perhaps a magic carpet built for two?
Marie: Oh no I wouldn't take up much room.
Duchess: [Sighing] I understand perfectly, Monsieur O'Malley, sir. Well, come along, darlings.
Marie: [Sighing] It's really pleasant to meet you, Monsieur O'Malley sir.
O'Malley: Why thank you, my little baby.
Toulouse: Hey, big guy, I'm a tough alley cat too. [Hissing]
O'Malley: Hey there, bud! You're comin' on. I'll bet you're a real tiger in your neighborhood, huh?
Toulouse: Yeah. That's 'cause I practice all the time.
Duchess: Now, now, Toulouse. Come along, dear. There's no time for chattering.
Toulouse: Yes, Mama. [to O'Malley] Bye, Monsieur O'Malley, nice talking with ya.
O'Malley: [offscreen] See ya around, tiger!
Toulouse: [Hissing]
O'Malley: [Chuckles] Now that's quite a family. And come to think of it, O'Malley, you're not a cat, you're a rat. Right ? Right. [offscreen] Hey! Hey, hold up there.
Duchess: Yes, Monsieur O'Malley?
O'Malley: Now look, kids. If I said "magic carpet," okay? Magic carpet it's gonna be. And it's gonna stop
for passengers... right... here.
Berlioz: Oh, boy, man! We're gonna fly after all!
Duchess: Another flight into the fantasy, Monsieur O'Malley?
O'Malley: No, no, no, baby. None of that. Now, you four just hide over there and you leave the rest to J. Thomas O'Malley, okay?
Kittens: Alright!
Toulouse: Quick, Mom, get in here.
Duchess: But, children--
Toulouse: Hurry up, Mama! Hurry!
Marie: Come on!
[Vehicle Approaching]
O'Malley: One magic carpet, coming up.
Duchess: That's a magic carpet? It's a van.
O'Malley: Just watch me. [Screeching]
Milkman: Sacrebleu!
O'Malley: [Screeching]
Milkman: Sapristi! Stupid cat! Brainless lunatic !
[Engine Starts]
O'Malley: All right, folks, step lively! All aboard for Paris!
Duchess: Why, Mr. O'Malley, you could have lost your life.
O'Malley: So I got a few to spare. Nothin'.
Duchess: How can we ever thank you?
O'Malley: My pleasure entirely, babe.
- [Truck Shifts lnto Gear]
O'Malley: Aloha. Aufwiedersehen. Bonsoir! "Saranora," and all those goodbye things, baby.
Marie: Sayonara, Mr.-- [Gasping] Mama !
Duchess: Marie! (2x)
O'Malley: Hang on! I'll save you! Whoa!
Duchess: Oh, Marie, are you all right?
Marie: Yes, Mama. I'm fine.
O'Malley: Hey, haven't we met before?
Duchess: Oh, and I'm so very glad we did this morning.
Marie: Thank you, Mr. O'Malley, for saving my life.
O'Malley: No trouble at all, little princess. And when we get to Paris, folks, I'll show you the time of your life.
Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry for our owner, but, well, we just couldn't. You see, her name's Mrs. Madame Bonfamille, she will be so worried about us.
O'Malley: Well, humans don't really worry too much about their pets.
Duchess: Oh, no, Monsieur O'Malley! You just don't understand.
O'Malley: I don't understand? What are you talking about?
Duchess: Madame. She loves us very much. Our poor owner, in that big mansion where we lived, all alone. In all our days, in tender ways, her love forus was shown. And so, you see, we can't leave her alone. She'd always say that we're the greatest treasure she could own. Because with us she never felt alone.
Frou-Frou: Oh, Roquefort, I've been so worried about you. Did you have any luck at all?
Roquefort: Not a sign of them anywhere, Frou-Frou, and I've searched all night.
Frou-Frou: I know, my friend. And poor Madame didn't sleep a wink either.
Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad day for all of us.
[Humming]
Roquefort: Shh! Can you hear someone?
Frou-Frou: Oh, it's Edgar!
Edgar Balthazar: Morning, Frou-Frou, my pretty steed. [Whispering] Can you keep a secret? Hmm? (outloud) Of course you can. [Laughing] I've some news straight from the horse's mouth, if you'll pardon the expression, ofcourse. Look, Frou-Frou. I've made the headlines right here. " Mysterious Catnapper Abducts Family of Cats." [Laughing] Aren't you proud of me, Frou-Frou? Who needs them anyway? [Laughing]
Roquefort: [Whispering] So... he's the catnapper!
Edgar Balthazar: The police say it was a professional, masterful job. The work of a genius. Not bad, eh, Frou-Frou old girl?
Frou-Frou: [Whinnying]
Edgar Balthazar: Oh, they won't find a clue to implicate me now. Not one single clue at all. Why, I'll, I'll eat my hat if they-- Wait a minute. My hat! My umbrella! Oh! Oh, gracious! I must've left those things behind last night. I've got to get those things back.
Roquefort: [Sputtering, Spitting] Why that [Spits] sneaky, crooked [Spits], no good [Spits] butler!
O'Malley: So, anyone for breakfast?
Toulouse: What breakfast?
Marie: Where is it?
O'Malley: Right under that magic carpet. But now we have to cook up a little spell. You know. You ready? All right. First, to make the magic begin, you wiggle your nose... and tickle your chin. Now you close your eyes... and cross your heart. Then, presto! Breakfast, a la carte.
Marie: Hooray!
Toulouse: We did it !
Berlioz: [offscreen] Look, Mama, look!
Duchess: Why, Mr. O'Malley, you are amazing !
O'Malley: True. [2x]
Milkman: Sapristi!
O'Malley: [Screeching]
Milkman: Sacrebleu! Thieves! Robbers! Mangy tramps! Take that! And that!
Duchess: Oh! Oh, what a horrible, horrible human!
O'Malley: Well, some humans are like that, Duchess. [offscreen] I've learned to live with 'em once.
Toulouse: I'll show him. [ Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]
O'Malley: [offscreen] Hey, coolit, you little tiger. That guy's dynamite.
Toulouse: But he called us tramps!
Duchess: Oh, I'll be so glad when we get back home. But now your idea didn't work.
O'Malley: Well, that's a long way off, so we better get moving.
Toulouse: Gee whiz! Look at that bridge! Come on, guys. Let's play train.
Duchess: Now be careful, children.
Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. Now, Marie's the caboose. All aboard! Choo-choo-choo, choo-choo.
Choo-choo-choo, choo-choo. Whoo-whoo! Choo-choo-choo-choo, choo-choo-choo-choo. Whoo-whoo! Clickety-clickety-clickety. Clickety. Whoo-whoo!
[Train Whistle Blowing as Sir Norramby approaches them]
Duchess: Oh, no!
O'Malley: [offscreen] All right. Now don't panic. [onscreen] Down underneath here.
[they obey and jump down]
Duchess: Oh dear! It's shaking!
O'Malley: Just let the train go by, baby, okay?
Toulouse: Wow! What a speed.
Duchess: Anyone alright? Where's Marie?
Toulouse and Berlioz: Uh oh.
[Marie is in the river and crying for her mother's help and trying to stay afloat]
Marie: Mama!
[Duchess gasps and screams for her daughter to come back]
Duchess: Marie! Oh, Marie!
[O'Malley jumps in, and tries to save Marie, but almost kills himself]
O'Malley: Keep your head up, Marie. Here I come.
[Marie obeys, but in the fall, O'Malley almost hurts himself, and to Duchess' horror, he almost drowns helplessly]
Toulouse: Wait for us, mama!
[as Thomas swims and saves Marie and grabs onto a log, Duchess, Toulouse, and Berlioz follow, almost losing O'Malley and Marie drowning in the process]
Duchess: Thomas! Thomas, up here.
O'Malley: Up you go, little white!
Toulouse: Gee, Marie, why'd you have to fall off the bridge?
Marie: Don't... ...even... ...ask!
Duchess: Thomas? Oh, Thomas! Take care, please.
O'Malley: I'm all right, Duchess, honey. Don't worry. I'll see ya down stream.
Amelia: What beautiful countryside, Abigail. So much like our own dear England.
Abigail: Oh, indeed, yes, sis. Amelia, if I walk much farther... I'll get flat feet.
Amelia: Abigail, we were born with flat feet.
[Laughing]
Abigail: I say. Look over there.
Amelia: [offscreen] Oh. Oh, how unusual.
Abigail: [offscreen] Fancy that, a cat learning how to swim.
Amelia: And he's going about it all the wrong way.
Abigail: Quite. We must correct him.
Amelia: Sir. Sir?
O'Malley: What do you girls want?
Amelia: Sir, you are most fortunate we happened along.
Abigail: Yes. We're here to help you.
O'Malley: No, no. Back off, girls. I'm doin' fine!
Abigail: So first, you must gain self-confidence... by striking out on your own.
O'Malley: Go away! I'm tryin' to get to shore.
Amelia: You will never learn to swim properly with that willow branch in your mouth.
Abigail: Indeed not!
Amelia: Snip, snip. Here we go.
O'Malley: Don't do that!
Abigail: You're doing splendidly.
Amelia: And don't worry about form, sir. It will come later. Alright?
O'Malley: [Gasping] Alrighty, whatever. I'm still tryin' to get to SHORE!
Abigail: He takes to water like a fish, doesn't he? A very enthusiastic--
[ Shrieking ]
Amelia: No ! Now, this is no time for fun and games.
[Laughing]
O'Malley: Leave me alone.
[ Laughing Fades ]
Abigail: Gracious me. You don't suppose--
Amelia: Oh, yes. Yes, I do. Bottoms up !
Together: Deeper!
Toulouse: Look, Mama. There he is.
Abigail: You really did quite well for a beginner.
Duchess: Oh, Thomas! Thank goodness you're safe!
O'Malley: I am, babe.
Abigail: Keep practicing.
Amelia: And toodly-pip !
Toulouse: Is there anything we can do to help you, Mr. O'Malley, huh ?
O'Malley: [Gasping] Help? I've had all the help I can take.
Duchess: Oh, mademoiselles, thank you so much for helping Mr. O'Malley.
Amelia: Of course, my dear. But first, introductions.
Abigail: Yes. We British like to keep things proper.
Abigail & Amelia: [Laughing]
Amelia: Now listen to this, I am Amelia Gabble, and this is my sister--
Abigail: Miss Abigail Gabble.
Amelia: We're twin sisters of couse.
Abigail: You might say we're related.
Abigail & Amelia: [Both Laughing]
Abigail: [offscreen] Oh, how silly!
Duchess Oh, how nice. I never would have guessed.
Berlioz: Look, guys! They got rubber feet.
Toulouse: Yeah.
Abigail & Amelia: [Both Laugh]
Duchess: Say, what brings you two here? You've just rescued Thomas, right?
Abigail: Silly you! We're on holiday. For a walking tour of France. Swimming, some of the way.
Amelia: On water, of course.
Duchess: Thomas, this is Amelia and Abigail Gabble. They're the one's who rescued you from drowning.
O'Malley: Yeah, honey. Get those two web-footed life guards outta here, okay?!
Duchess: Now, now, Thomas. Let's be nice to our new friends.
O'Malley: Okay. Okay, baby. Fine. Hiya, chicks.
Abigail: Oh!
Abigail & Amelia: [Both Laugh]
O'Malley: What, gals?
Abigail: We're not chickens. We're geese.
O'Malley: No. I thought you were swans.
Duchess: Thomas!
Amelia: You flatterer.
Abigail: You know, deary, your husband is very charming and very handsome.
O'Malley: Well, uh, you see... I-l'm not exactly her husband.
Amelia: "Exactly"? You either are or you're not.
O'Malley: All right gals... I'm not.
Abigail & Amelia: [Together] Oh? Hmm?
Amelia: It's scandalous. He's nothing but a cad. Absolutely. Possibly a reprobate.
Abigail: A roue. [offscreen]  His eyes are too close together.
Amelia: Shifty too.
Abigail: And look at his crooked smile. His chin is very weak too. Obviously a philanderer who trifles with unsuspecting women's hearts.
Marie: How romantic!
Berlioz: Sissy stuff!
Marie: Grrr!
Duchess: [offscreen] Marie!
Marie: Sorry.
Duchess: Please, girls. Please, let me explain. Thomas is
a dear friend of ours. He's just helping us to get to--
O'Malley: Come on, Duchess. Come on. Let's get out of here.
Duchess: Thomas?
O'Malley: Well, girls, see ya around. We're on our way to Paris.
Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! If we're going to Paris ourselves, why don't you join us?
Duchess: I think that's a splendid idea.
O'Malley: Oh, no. Not a bad idea.
Amelia: Now, ah, listen to our idea, you stand here, dear. And, uh, let's see. You take this position.
Abigail: Duchess, you'll do nicely here.
Amelia: Yes, very good.
Abigail: And you, dear, you take this place. Now that leaves Mr. O'Malley.
Amelia: Oh. We can't leave him, can we?
O'Malley: Fine.
Abigail: Mr. O'Malley, I think you should be the rear end. Ready, everyone? Now think "goose."
Amelia: Forward, march!
Berlioz: Mama, do we have to waddle like they do ?
Duchess: Yes, dear. Just think "goose."
Amelia: And by the way, when we get to Paris, you must meet Uncle Waldo.
O'Malley: "Waldo"? Who's that?
Amelia: Yes, that's a question. Waldo's our uncle.
Abigail: We are to meet him at Le Petit Cafe.
Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? Oh, that's that famous restaurant.
Amelia: Ah, c'est magnifique!
Uncle Waldo: [Squawking]
Le Petit Café Chef: Sacrebleu! Ow! Oh! He bit my finger! Get out! Go! Go on! Get out! Scram! [Offscreen] Good riddance.
Uncle Waldo: [Mumbling, Sighing & Hiccupping]
Amelia: Why-- Why it's Uncle Waldo !
Abigail: Uncle Waldo !
Uncle Waldo: [Screaming] Abigail! Amelia! [Laughing] My two favorite nooses!
Amelia: Uncle Waldo. I do believe you've been drinking.
Abigail: Oh, dear! What happened to your lovely tail feathers?
Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! Why, you won't believe what they tried to do... to your poor old Uncle Waldo! [Hiccupping] Look. Look at this! It says here. [Reading] "Prime Country Goose a la Provencal. " "Stuffed with chestnuts"? "And basted in... [ Sniffles ] white wine." [ Hiccups ]
O'Malley: "Basted"? He's been marinated in it.
Uncle Waldo: Dreadful! Being British, I would have preferred sherry.
[ Laughing ]
Uncle Waldo: Sherry! Sherry.
- [ Laughing ]
Amelia: Oh ! Oh, oh--Oh, Uncle Waldo, you're just too much.
Abigail: You mean he's had too much.
- [ Laughing ]
Amelia: [ Whispering ] Abigail! Abby!
Abigail: Yes, yes?
Abigail: We best get Uncle Waldo to bed.
Uncle Waldo: Why, I say there, now. What's all the whis--whispering about, huh ?
Abigail & Amelia: [ Together] Shh, shh !
Uncle Waldo: [Laughter] Now, now, now, now. Girls. Girls! Don't shush your old Uncle Waldo! Why, you'll, you'll wake up the whole neighborhood!
Abigail & Amelia: Shh ! No !
Uncle Waldo: Whoopee ! Neighborhood ! [ Laughing ]
Abigail: Come to sleep, Uncle Waldo !
Amelia: Oh, yes, I think we'd better be going.
Uncle Waldo: Oh, righto, girls. Birds of a feather must [ Hic ] together.
Abigail & Amelia: [ Laughing ] [offscreen] That's stick together.
Abigail, Amelia & Uncle Waldo: [ Laughing ]
Uncle Waldo [ Singing ]
Abigail & Amelia: Shush, shush, shush !
- [ Waldo Continues Singing ]
- [ Abigail, Amelia Laughing ]
O'Malley: You know something? I like Uncle Waldo.
Duchess: Especially when he's marinated! [chuckling] Just like you say, Thomas.
Roquefort: Frou-Frou, here comes Edgar!
Frou-Frou: Hurry, Roquefort. Hop aboard the motorcycle. And for goodness sakes, do be careful!
Roquefort: Don't worry I will.
Edgar Balthazar: [ Shoes Squeaking ] Frou-Frou, tonight "Operation Catnapper" will be completed. Wish me luck. Fisherman's luck.
[Engine Starting]
Roquefort: Bye, Frou-Frou! Whoop!
[Tires Screeching]
Roquefort: Must keep still. (2x) [Coughing] Hey! [Screaming] [Coughing]
Edgar Balthazar: [Shoes Squeaking] If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff?
Napoleon & Lafayette [ Snoring ]
Edgar Balthazar: Must be round here somewhere.
Napoleon & Lafayette [ Snoring ]
Edgar Balthazar: Well I'll be...
[ Squeaking ]
- [Squeaking]
Napoleon: Lafayette? Lafayette! Listen.
[Squeaking]
Lafayette: Oh, shucks, Napoleon. That ain't
nothing but a little old cricket bug.
Napoleon: It's squeaky shoes approachin', man.
Lafayette: Oh, cricket bugs don't wear shoes, man.
Napoleon: Hush your mouth, you idiot. Let's see. They're Oxford shoes. Size nine-and-a-half. Hole in the left sole, it sounds like.
Lafayette: What color are they?
Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? Hey, now the squeakin' has stopped.
Lafayette: I still say it was a little old cricket bug.
Napoleon: I'm the leader. I'll decide what it was. It was a little old cricket bug.
Lafayette: I'll see ya in the morning, Napoleon. [ Sighing ]
Napoleon: That's my hat. I'm the leader.
Lafayette: Well, shootfire, man. Don't get sore at me! I ain't done nothin'. [ Mumbling ]
Edgar Balthazar: Great. Now I'll never get my hat... Plan B.
Napoleon: Ooh, whoo, heh. Mm. Oh. Mm, ooh, oh, heh. Ooh! [Chuckling] [Giggling, Groaning] Mm-mm. That feels good, Lafayette.
Lafayette: That's all right, man.
Napoleon: Mm-mm. Ooh. Ooh! A little lower and faster there, buddy.
Lafayette: I'm scratchin' as fast as I can.
Napoleon: Right there, man. That's good. Oh, ooh, ooh! Ooh.
Lafayette: Mmm. It's warm and, mm-mm, cozy.
Napoleon: Wait a minute, that's funny. Just... ...back away... ...from me.
[ Horn Squeaking ]
[ Blowing ]
Napoleon: Wha-Wha--What's goin' on? [offscreen] Lafayette, what in tarnation you trying to do!?
Lafayette: Oh, I get blamed for everything.
Napoleon: Wait a minute! Where's my hat ? Where--And somebody stole my bumber shoot!
Lafayette: Well, where's my beddie-bye basket!?
Napoleon: And whoever it is is gonna get it and get it good.
Lafayette: [offscreen; chuckling] This time, I get the tender part.
Napoleon: [offscreen] Hush your mouth. Now, come on.
[ Squeaking ]
Lafayette: Hey, Napoleon! Ooh, it's them shoes again.
Napoleon: Yeah, yeah, I hear 'em.
Lafayette: Napoleon, I'm plumb goose-pimply scared!
Napoleon: Now this is no time to turn chicken. Alright?
[ Grunting ]
Napoleon: I got a feelin' this case is gonna bust wide open.
Napoleon & Lafayette: [ Screaming ]
Lafayette: D-D-D-Did you see him ?
Napoleon: No, no. He sneaked up behind me and tailgated me.
Lafayette: Well, he didn't hurt me. He hit me on the head. [ Laughing ]
Napoleon: Shh! Listen !
- [Metal Squeaking]
Napoleon: Sounds like a one-wheel-- Ooh.
Lafayette: A one-wheel what ?
Napoleon: You're not gonna believe this, man, but it's
a one-wheeled haystack. Hey, there it goes! Come on! After it!
Napoleon & Lafayette: [ Barking ]
[ Edgar Shouting, Dogs Snarling ]
Lafayette [offscreen] I got him, I got him, I got him !
Napoleon: Ow, that's me! [offscreen] Gethim, get him, get him, get him !
[Dogs Shouting]
Lafayette: Well, c'est la guerre, Napoleon. I guess you can't win 'em all. Ow ! Ooh, ooh, ooh ! Criminiddly !
Duchess: Thomas, Madame will be so worried. Are you sure we can't get home tonight ?
Marie: Mama, I'm tired.
Berlioz: Me too, and my feet hurt.
O'Malley: Look, baby, it's late, okay? You know the kids are bushed.
Toulouse: I'll bet we walked a hundred miles.
Berlioz: I'll bet it's more than a thousand.
Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Cheer up. Mr. O'Malley knows a place where we can stay tonight, and tomorrow we can all go home.
Toulouse: Good idea, mama. Hey, Mr. O'Malley, how much farther is it?
O'Malley: [ Chuckles ] Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. It's just beyond that next chimney pot. Well, there it is. My own penthouse pad. It's not exactly the Ritz, but it's peaceful and quiet.
[Jazz Trumpet]
O'Malley: Oh! Oh, no. Sounds like Scat Cat and his gang have dropped by.
Duchess: Oh. Are those friends of yours?
O'Malley: Uh-huh, yeah. They're old buddies and they're real swingers.
Duchess: "Shwingers?" What is a it?
O'Malley: "Swingers." You know. Uh, not exactly your type, Duchess. [offscreen] Maybe we'd better find another place, huh? Come on.
Duchess: Oh, no, no, no. I would like to see your pad, and meet your friend Scat Cat.
O'Malley: Well, okay, then.
[Jazz]
O'Malley: Hey, Scat Cat, dude! Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way.
Scat Cat: [ Trumpet Blaring ] [ Laughing ] Well, looky here. Big Man O'Malley is back in his alley. [offscreen] Swing on down here, Daddy.
O'Malley: Lay some skin on me, Scat Cat. Yeah!
Peppo: Buonasera, paesano!
Hit Cat: Welcome home, O'Malley!
O'Malley: Duchess, this is the greatest cat of'em all: Scat Cat.
Scat Cat: Bonjour, sweetheart.
Duchess: Oh, I'm delighted to meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat.
Scat Cat: Likewise, Duchess. You're too much. [ Chuckling ]
Duchess: Oh, ho, ho, you are charming ! And your music is so--so different, so exciting.
Berlioz: It isn't Beethoven, Mama, but it sure bounces.
Scat Cat: [ Chuckling ] Say ! This kitten cat knows where it's at !
Berlioz: My name is Berlioz.
Toulouse: Mine's Toulouse.
Marie: And Marie. But, knows where what's at ?
Scat Cat: Well, Marie my little lady, let me elucidate here. [ Singing ] Everybody wants to be a cat Because a cat's the only cat who knows where it's at
O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it ! [ Singing ] Everybody's pickin' up on that feline beat 'Cause everything else is obsolete
Scat Cat: Strictly high-button shoes.
O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes you wish you weren't born
Scat Cat: [ Singing ] Every time he plays
-[Horn]
O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a square in the act You can set music back
Scat Cat: [ Singing ] To the caveman days [ Scats ]
O'Malley: [offscreen; singing] I've heard some corny birds who tried to sing
Scat Cat: [ Singing ] Still the cat's the only cat who knows how to swing
Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ] Who wants to dig a long-haired gig and stufflike that
O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ] When everybody wants to be a cat A square with a horn makes you wish you weren't born Every time he plays
O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky
O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ] With a square in the act you can set music back To the caveman days
Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky
Trio: [ Singing ] Yes, everybody wants to be a cat  Everybody wants to be a cat Because a cat's the only cat
who knows where it's at When playin' jazz he always has a welcome mat 'Cause everybody digs a swingin' cat
Shun Gon: Oh, boy, fellas ! Let's rock the joint !
Billy Boss: Ha-ha ! Groove it, cat ! [ Laughing ]
[ Crash ]
Shun Gon: Shanghai, Hong Kong, egg foo young [ Laughing ] Fortune cookie always wrong That a hot one !
O'Malley: How 'bout you and me, Duchess ?
Duchess: Yes. Let's swing it, Thomas.
Berlioz: Groovy, Mama, groovy !
Scat Cat: Blow it, small fry. Blow it.
[ Weak Trumpet Blast ]
Shun Gon: Boy, he blew it.
Peppo: But he was a-close.
Peppo: Mmm.
O'Malley: Beautiful, man.
Duchess: [ Singing ] If you want to turn me on Play your horn Don't spare the tone And blow a little soul into the tune
Peppo: [ Sniffling ]
O'Malley: [ Singing ] Let's take it to another key
Scat Cat: [ Singing ] Modulate and wait for me I'll take a few ad-libs and pretty soon
O'Malley: [ offscreen; singing ] The other cats will all commence Congregatin' on the fence Beneath the alley's only light
Duchess: [ Singing ] Where every note is Out of sight
Scat Cat: That's it, cats, come on let's do this for more!
[Jazz ]
Cats: Everybody, everybody Everybody wants to be a cat
Scat Cat: [ offscreen ] Hallelujah
Cats: Everybody, everybody Everybody wants to be a cat
Scat Cat: I'm tellin' you
Cats: Everybody, everybody Everybody wants to be a cat
Scat Cat: Yeah !
Cats: Everybody, everybody Everybody wants to be a cat
Scat Cat: Mmm !
O'Malley: There they go now.
Cats: Everybody, everybody Everybody wants to be a cat
Scat Cat: Hallelujah!
Cats: Everybody, everybody Everybody wants to be a cat
Berlioz: [ Sighing ] Everybody wants to be a cat
Marie: Because a cat's the only cat Who knows where it's at
Toulouse: Oh, yeah
Duchess: Happy dreams, my loves.
O'Malley: I'll bet they're on that magic carpet right now.
Duchess: [ Laughing ] They could hardly keep their eyes open. [offscreen] Ah. Such an exciting day.
O'Malley: It sure was, and what a finale.
Duchess: You know something, Thomas, your friends are really delightful. I just love them.
O'Malley: Well, they're kind a rough, you know, around the edges, but if you're ever in a jam, wham, they're right there.
Duchess: [offscreen] And, wham, when we needed you, you were right there.
O'Malley: [offscreen] That was just a lucky break for me, baby.
Duchess: Oh, thank you so much for offering us your home. Oh, I mean your pad. It's very nice of you.
O'Malley: Well, now, wait a minute. You know, this is the low-rent district, remember ?
Duchess: No, no, no, I like it. Well, uh--Well, all it needs is a little tidying up...and, well, maybe a...Iittle feminine touch.
O'Malley: Well, if you're applying for the job, well--
Marie: Goody. Mother's going to work for Mr. O'Malley.
O'Malley: Boy, your eyes are like sapphires. Gee ! Huh. That's pretty corny, though, huh ?
Duchess: No, not at all. [offscreen] Any woman would like it. Oh, l, I mean, even little Marie.
O'Malley: Yeah. All those little kittens of yours, Duchess. I love 'em.
Duchess: [offscreen] And they are very fond of you.
Berlioz: Yeah !
Marie: Shh !
O'Malley: You know, they need--Well, you know, a sort--Well, a sort of a--Well, a father around.
Duchess: Oh, Thomas, Thomas, that would be wonderful.
O'Malley: What?
Duchess: Oh, darling, if, if only I could.
O'Malley: But why can't you ?
Duchess: Because of our owner. I-- I could never leave her. 
O'Malley: But-- But your owner is--Well, she's just another human. You're just her house pets.
Duchess: Oh, no, no. We mean far more to her than that. Oh, sorry, my dear. We just have to go home tomorrow. 
O'Malley: Yeah. Well... Afraid, I guess you know best, and I'm gonna miss you, baby. [offscreen] Huh, and those kids. [ Sighing ] Gee, I'm gonna miss them too.
Berlioz: Well, we almost had a father.
Toulouse: Yeah. [ Yawns ] Come on, guys, let's go back to bed.
O'Malley: Good night, Duchess.
Duchess: Good night, Thomas.
O'Malley:Hey ! Meee-owww ! What a classy neighborhood. Dig these fancy wigwams.
Duchess: "Wigwams" ?
O'Malley: Are you sure we're on the right street where you live?
Duchess: Yes. Yes ! Let's hurry. We're almost home.
Roquefort: Duchess ! Kittens ! Hallelujah ! They're back ! Oh, no ! Edgar ! I've got to do something quick !
Edgar Balthazar: Oh, ho ! Edgar, old chap, get used to the finer things of life. Someday they're all going to be yours, you sly old fox.
- [Cork Squeaking, Pops]
Roquefort: Oh ! Oh, he got me !
Berlioz: Hooray, we're home ! Wait for me ! (2x)
Marie: Me first ! (2x)
[ Grunting ]
Berlioz: It’s locked. How do we get in?
Marie: Come on, guys, let’s all start meowing.
Marie, Toulouse and Berlioz: [Meowing]
Edgar Balthazar: It can't be them !
Roquefort: The kittens!
Edgar Balthazar: [ Gasping, Screaming ]
Roquefort: Don't come in ! [ Grunting ] Go away ! Away !
Toulouse: Look ! There's Roquefort.
Kittens: Hi, Roquefort.
Berlioz: [offscreen] He's sure glad to see us.
Duchess: [ Sighing ] I don't know what to say. I only wish that l--
O'Malley: Maybe just a short, sweet goodbye would be easiest.
Duchess: I'll never forget you, Thomas O'Malley. Bye.
O'Malley: So long, baby. Neither will I.
Roquefort: Don't come in ! Look out for Edgar !
Edgar Balthazar: Duchess, wherever have you been ?
Roquefort: Look out for the--
- [ Screeching ]
Roquefort: Sack.
O'Malley: Well... guess they won't need me any more.
Edgar Balthazar: You came back? Oh, it just isn't fair !
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen] Edgar! Edgar, come quickly!
Edgar Balthazar: Coming, Madame! Coming! I'll take care of you later.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, Edgar, they're back ! I heard them ! Hurry, hurry! Let them in ! Duchess ? Kittens ? Come here, my darlings. Where are you ? Come on.
Edgar Balthazar: Uh, allow me, Madame. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty ! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty !
Roquefort: His name is O'What ?
Duchess: [offscreen] His name is O'Malley. O'Malley!
Marie: [offscreen] Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey!
Duchess: [offscreen] Oh, never mind, Marie. Run! Move! Go get him !
Roquefort: Yes, yes ! I'm on my way !
Toulouse: [offscreen] I told ya it was Edgar.
Berlioz: [offscreen] Aw, shut up, Toulouse.
Duchess: [offscreen] Berlioz, shh! Watch your mouth.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, it's no use, Edgar. I'm afraid it was just the imagination of an old lady. But I was so sure that I heard them.
Edgar Balthazar: I'm so sorry, Madame.
Roquefort: I've got to find him. Oh, that must be him! Mr. O'Malley ! [ Grunting ] Hey ! Stop !
O'Malley: What do you want?
Roquefort: [ Panting ] Mr. O'Malley, I've heard your name. I'm Roquefort by the way, I need your help, Duchess ! Kittens ! ln trouble ! Butler did it.
O'Malley: Duchess and kittens in trouble ? Look, pal, [offscreen] you go get Scat Cat and his gang of alley cats.
Roquefort: A-A-Alley cats!? But I'm a mouse!
O'Malley: [offscreen] Look, I'm gonna need help right away.
Roquefort: You mean you want me--
O'Malley: [offscreen] Move ! [onscreen] Tell him O'Malley sent you and you won't have a bit of trouble.
Roquefort: [ Breathing Hard ] No trouble, he said. Well, that's easy for, uh, for what's-his-name to say. He's got nine lives. I've only got one.
Scat Cat: What's a little swinger like you doin' on our side oftown ?
Roquefort: Oh, please ! Uh, I was sent here for help by a cat.
Scat Cat: Why, this is outrageous & crazy !
[Cats Laughing]
Roquefort: B-But honest, guys! He told me just to mention his name.
Billy Boss: So ? Start mentioning name, rodent.
Roquefort: Oh, now, wait a minute, fellas. [ Stammering ] D-D-Don't rush me. His name is O'Toole.
Scat Cat: [to the others] I don't dig him. [to Roquefort] Strike one.
Roquefort: Oh. Ooh.  O'Brien.
Scat Cat: [offscreen] Strike two.
Roquefort: Oh, boy ! [offscreen] You believe me, don't you ?
Hit Cat: Keep talkin', mousy.
Roquefort: H-How about--O'... Grady ? Huh ?
Scat Cat: Mousy, you just struck out. [offscreen] Any last words ?
Roquefort: [ Muttering ] Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!?
Scat Cat: O'Malley!?
All: O'Malley!?
Scat Cat: Hold it, cats ! This little guy's on the level.
Roquefort: You're darn tootin' I'm on the level !
Peppo: Oh, we didn't mean-a to, to rough a-you, squeaky !
Roquefort: Don't worry about me ! O'Malley needs help ! [offscreen] Duchess and the kittens are in trouble !
Scat Cat: Come on, cats ! We gotta split !
Roquefort: Hey, wait for me ! You don't know the way !
Wine Drinking Man: What's this?
Edgar Balthazar: [offscreen] Now, my little pesky pets. You're going to travel first class... [onscreen] in your own private compartment... [offscreen] all the way to Timbuktu. And this time, ha, you'll never come back. Oh, no. But we've got to hurry. [onscreen] The baggage truck will be here any moment now.
O'Malley: [ Screeching ]
Edgar Balthazar: Ooh ! [ Screaming ]
[Crash]
Frou Frou: [ Whinnying ]
Edgar Balthazar: [ Gasps ]
[Cats Screeching]
Roquefort: So, do you know where they are?
O'Malley: Over there ! They're in the trunk !
[ Screeching ]
Roquefort: Quiet !
All: HUH?!
[ Tumblers Clicking ]
[ Screeching ]
O'Malley: EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE, FAST!
Edgar Balthazar: You're going to [offscreen] Timbuktu... [onscreen] if it's the last thing I do!
Sam: [offscreen] Well, Mac, this must be the trunk, eh?
Mac: [offscreen] Yup, and she goes all the way to Timbuktu. [onscreen] Heave-ho!
O'Malley: Well, babe, that's the end of him.
Toulouse: [Snarling, Hissing] Meow ! [ Spitting ]
O'Malley & Duchess: [Laugh]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Now, my pets, a little closer together. Good. Good. Look, Georges. What do you think ?
Georges Hautecourt: Very good. (2x) But I think we should get on with the will.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Yes, yes, of course, but you know what to do.
Georges Hautecourt: Very well. Scratch one butler. 
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: You know, Georges, if Edgar had only known about the will, I'm sure he never would have left. Duchess, it's wonderful to have you all back. And I think this young man is very handsome. Shall we keep him in the family ?
- [ Meowing ]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Madame] Of course we will. We need a man around the house. And, Georges, we must be sure to provide for their future little ones.
- [ Gulping ]
Georges Hautecourt: [Chuckles] Of course. The more, the merrier.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Now don't move. Smile. Say "cheese. "
Roquefort: Did somebody say "cheese" ?
 [Flash Powder Explodes]
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Thank you. Now, run along downstairs. There's a surprise for you.
[Band Playing Jazz]
Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, what's that music ? Sounds like a gang of swinging hep cats.
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: That's exactly what they are, Georges. They're the start of my new foundation.
Georges Hautecourt: What foundation ?
Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: My home for all the alley cats of Paris.
[Jazz ]
All: Everybody, everybody Everybody wants to be a cat (2x)
Frou Frou: Everybody (2x) Everybody wants to be a cat [ Giggling ]
Uncle Waldo: Everybody Whoopee ! [ Laughing ] Everybody wants to be a cat
All: [offscreen] Everybody (2x) Everybody wants to be -A...
Lafayette: [ Howling ]
All: Cat
Napoleon & Lafayette: [ Howling ]
Napoleon: [ Howling ]
Lafayette: Hey, Napoleon, that sounds like the end.
Napoleon: Wait a minute. I'm the leader. I'll say when it's the end. [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you're right, it's the end.
[Jazz]
Toulouse: [offscreen] Oh, yeah!
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Category:Disney Transcripts