Hotel Menu

Richie and Eddie famously owned a hotel in Guest House Paradiso. Unfortunately, they were short on food to serve as you all know. Here is what I would have liked to have seen them serve up.....Nil Desperandum!
Light Bites and Lunches:
Pickled Onion Sandwiches
Cheese Roll (served with mayonnaise not sun tan lotion)
Sunday Fish Finger (only served after 12pm on Sunday’s)
Poo from a very expensive Fish’s bottom (Caviar)
Main Dishes (all mains are served with
squashed potatoes, exploding carrots and sprouts mexicain)''
Taiwanese Ranch Style Jumbo Fish Burger
Portion of Pork
Richie’s Famous Friday Night Fry Up (only served after
9pm on Friday’s)''
Fish Supper
Desserts
Chocolate Hob Nobs
Traditional Xmas Pudding (coated in Vodka margarine and a
couple of cans of hairspray and served all year round)
Drinks Menu
Half a pint of Mild (in a pint glass)
Steaming Cold Tea
Emergency Bitter
Old Spice (Special Offer, 25p a bottle during Happy Hour)
The Esther Rantzen (a mixture of Pernod, Ouzo and
Marmalade with the rim garnished in Salt)''
Eddie’s Special (a mixture of Brandy, Pernod, Paint
Stripper, Mr Sheen, Brake Fluid and Drambuie! Not for the faint Hearted)''