Cards Against Humanity/List of white cards

This is a list of 540 white cards in Cards Against Humanity:
Cards Against Humanity/List of black cards
72 virgins
8 oz of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin
A Bop It
A Gypsy curse
A Super Soaker full of cat pee
A bag of magic beans
A balanced breakfast
A beached whale
A big black dick
A big hoopla about nothing
A bleached asshole
A bloody pacifier
A brain tumor
A can of whoop-ass
A clandestine butt scratch
A cooler full of organs
A crappy little hand
A death ray
A defective condom
A disappointing birthday party
A drive-by shooting
A falcon with a cap on its head
A fetus
A foul mouth
A gassy antelope
A gentle caress of the inner thigh
A good sniff
A homoerotic volleyball montage
A hot mess
A lifetime of sadness
A look-see
A low standard of living
A mating display
A micro-penis
A middle-aged man on roller skates
A mime having a stroke
A moment of silence
A monkey smoking a cigar
A mopey zoo lion
A murder most foul
A nuanced critique
A passionate Latino lover
A really cool hat
A rival dojo
A robust mongoloid
A sad handjob
A salty surprise
A sassy black woman
A sausage festival
A sea of troubles
A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis
A stray pube
A thermonuclear detonation
A time travel paradox
A tiny horse
A web of lies
A windmill full of corpses
A woman scorned
A zesty breakfast burrito
AIDS
AXE Body Spray
Aaron Burr
Active listening
Actually taking candy from a baby
Adderall
African children
Agriculture
Alcoholism
All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99
Altar boys
American Gladiators
Amputees
An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist
An Oedipus complex
An asymmetric boob job
An erection that lasts longer than four hours
An honest cop with nothing left to lose
An icepick lobotomy
Anal beads
Another goddamn vampire movie
Apologizing
Appreciative snapping
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Asians who aren't good at math
Assless chaps
Attitude
Auschwitz
Authentic Mexican cuisine
Autocannibalism
BATMAN!!!
Balls
Barack Obama
Beating your wives
Bees?
Being a busy adult with many important things to do
Being a dick to children
Being a dinosaur
Being a motherfucking sorcerer
Being fabulous
Being marginalized
Being on fire
Being rich
Bill Nye the Science Guy
Bingeing and purging
Bitches
Black people
Bling
Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars
Boogers
Bosnian chicken farmers
Breaking out into song and dance
Cards Against Humanity
Carnies
Catapults
Centaurs
Chainsaws for hands
Charisma
Cheating in the Special Olympics
Child abuse
Child beauty pageants
Children on leashes
Chivalry
Christopher Walken
Chutzpah
Civilian casualties
Clams
Classist undertones
Coat hanger abortions
Cockfights
College
Concealing a boner
Consultants
Copping a feel
Coughing into a vagina
Count Chocula
Crippling debt
Crystal meth
Cuddling
Customer service representatives
Cybernetic enhancements
Daddy issues
Dancing with a broom
Darth Vader
Date rape
Dead babies
Dead parents
Deflowering the princess
Dental dams
Dick Cheney
Dick fingers
Doin' it in the butt
Doing the right thing
Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza
Dorito breath
Drinking alone
Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up
Dry heaving
Dwarf tossing
Dying
Dying of dysentery
Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale
Eating an albino
Eating the last known bison
Edible underpants
Elderly Japanese men
Embryonic stem cells
Emotions
Enormous Scandinavian women
Erectile dysfunction
Estrogen
Ethnic cleansing
Eugenics
Euphoria by Calvin Klein
Exactly what you'd expect
Exchanging pleasantries
Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor
Explosions
Fabricating statistics
Famine
Fancy Feast
Farting and walking away
Fear itself
Feeding Rosie O'Donnell
Fiery poops
Figgy pudding
Finding a skeleton
Finger painting
Fingering
Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog
Five-Dollar Footlongs
Flash flooding
Flesh-eating bacteria
Flightless birds
Flying sex snakes
Foreskin
Forgetting the Alamo
Former President George W. Bush
Free samples
Friction
Friendly fire
Friends who eat all the snacks
Friends with benefits
Frolicking
Full frontal nudity
Gandalf
Gandhi
Geese
Genetically engineered supersoldiers
Genghis Khan
Genital piercings
George Clooney's musk
German dungeon porn
Getting abducted by Peter Pan
Getting drunk on mouthwash
Getting in her pants, politely
Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon
Getting really high
Getting so angry that you pop a boner
Ghosts
Giving 110 percent
Gladiatorial combat
Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards
Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook
Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts
Global warming
Gloryholes
GoGurt
Goats eating cans
Goblins
God
Golden showers
Good grammar
Grandma
Grave robbing
Guys who don't call
Half-assed foreplay
Harry Potter erotica
Heartwarming orphans
Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II
Heteronormativity
Hipsters
Historical revisionism
Historically black colleges
Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine
Homeless people
Hope
Hormone injections
Horrifying laser hair removal accidents
Horse meat
Hot Pockets
Hot cheese
Hot people
Hulk Hogan
Hurricane Katrina
Inappropriate yodeling
Incest
Insatiable bloodlust
Intelligent design
Italians
Jafar
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Jerking off into a pool of children's tears
Jew-fros
Jewish fraternities
Jibber-jabber
John Wilkes Booth
Judge Judy
Just the tip
Justin Bieber
Kamikaze pilots
Kanye West
Keanu Reeves
Keg stands
Kids with ass cancer
Kim Jong-il
Lactation
Lady Gaga
Lance Armstrong's missing testicle
Land mines
Laying an egg
Leaving an awkward voicemail
Leprosy
Leveling up
Licking things to claim them as your own
Linsday Lohan at 55
Literally eating shit
Lockjaw
Loose lips
Lumberjack fantasies
Lunchables
Mad hacky-sack skills
Making a pouty face
Making the penises kiss
Man meat
Masturbation
Mathletes
Me time
MechaHitler
Media coverage
Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament
Men
Menstruation
Michael Jackson
Michelle Obama's arms
Moral ambiguity
Morgan Freeman's voice
Mouth herpes
Mr. Clean, right behind you
Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him)
Multiple stab wounds
Mutually-assured destruction
My collection of high-tech sex toys
My genitals
My humps
My inner demons
My machete
My relationship status
My sex life
My soul
My vagina
Natalie Portman
Natural male enhancement
Natural selection
Nazis
Necrophilia
Neil Patrick Harris
New Age music
Nickelback
Nicolas Cage
Nipple blades
Nocturnal emissions
Not giving a shit about the Third World
Not reciprocating oral sex
Nubile slave boys
Obesity
Object permanence
Old-people smell
Ominous background music
One thousand Slim Jims
Oompa-Loompas
Opposable thumbs
Overcompensation
Overpowering your father
Oversized lollipops
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum
Panda sex
Panty raids
Parting the Red Sea
Party Poopers
Passable transvestites
Passing a kidney stone
Passive-aggressive Post-it notes
Pedophiles
Peeing a little bit
Penis envy
Picking up girls at the abortion clinic
Pictures of boobs
Pistol-whipping a hostage
Pixelated bukkake
Police brutality
Pooping back and forth. Forever.
Poor life choices
Poor people
Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes
Porn stars
Powerful thighs
Prancing
Praying the gay away
Preteens
Pretending to care
Pterodactyl eggs
Puberty
Public ridicule
Pulling out
Puppies!
Queefing
Quiche
Quivering jowls
Racially-biased SAT questions
Racism
Raping and pillaging
Raptor attacks
Re-gifting
Repression
Republicans
Revenge fucking
Riding off into the sunset
Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart
Road head
Robert Downey, Jr
RoboCop
Ronald Reagan
Roofies
Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse
Same-sex ice dancing
Santa Claus
Sarah Palin
Saxophone solos
Scalping
Science
Scientology
Scrotum tickling
Scrubbing under the folds
Sean Connery
Sean Penn
Seduction
Self-loathing
Seppuku
Serfdom
Sexting
Sexual humiliation
Sexual tension
Sexy Siamese twins
Sexy pillow fights
Shaft
Shapeshifters
Shaquille O'Neal's acting career
Sharing needles
Skeletor
Slow motion
Smallpox blankets
Smegma
Sniffing glue
Soiling oneself
Soup that is too hot
Space muffins
Spectacular abs
Sperm whales
Spontaneous human combustion
Statistically validated stereotypes
Stephen Hawking talking dirty
Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis
Stranger danger
Sudden Poop Explosion Disease
Suicidal thoughts
Sunshine and rainbows
Surprise Butt-Sex!
Sweet, sweet vengeance
Switching to Geico
Swooping
Take-backsies
Taking off your shirt
Tangled Slinkys
Tasteful side-boob
Teaching a robot to love
Team-building exercises
Teenage pregnancy
Tentacle porn
Testicular torsion
That thing that electrocutes your abs
The American Dream
The Amish
The Big Bang
The Blood of Christ
The Care Bear Stare
The Chinese gymnastics team
The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
The Donald Trump Seal of Approval
The Fanta girls
The Force
The Gulags
The Hamburglar
The Holy Bible
The Hustle
The Jews
The KKK
The Kool-Aid Man
The Little Engine That Could
The Make-A-Wish Foundation
The Pope
The Rapture
The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
The South
The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System
The Three-Fifths compromise
The Trail of Tears
The Underground Railroad
The Virginia Tech Massacre
The World of Warcraft
The boners of the elderly
The chronic
The clitoris
The economy
The folly of man
The forbidden fruit
The four arms of Vishnu
The gays
The glass ceiling
The hardworking Mexican
The harsh light of day
The heart of a child
The hiccups
The homosexual agenda
The inevitable heat death of the universe
The invisible hand
The milk man
The miracle of childbirth
The placenta
The profoundly handicapped
The shambling corpse of Larry King
The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge
The terrorists
The token minority
The true meaning of Christmas
The violation of our most basic human rights
The Übermensch
Third base
Tom Cruise
Toni Morrison's vagina
Too much hair gel
Tripping balls
Tweeting
Two midgets shitting into a bucket
Unfathomable stupidity
Uppercuts
Vehicular manslaughter
Viagra
Vigilante justice
Vigorous jazz hands
Vikings
Waiting 'til marriage
Waking up halfnaked in a Denny's parking lot
Waterboarding
Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry
When you fart and a little bit comes out
Whipping it out
White people
White privilege
Wifely duties
William Shatner
Winking at old people
Wiping her butt
Women in yogurt commercials
Women's suffrage
Words, words, words
World peace
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
Yeast
Zeus's sexual appetites
Category:Cards Against Humanity