CORRIDOR 7 - WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON

REMASTER - CORRIDOR 7 - WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON is the title of the video in which Civvie reviews Corridor 7. It is the first episode of season one, and the overall seventh episode of Civvie's Dungeon.
== Synopsis ==
A troubled man embarks a journey of self-discovery and learns that there is more to life than he thought. And also he plays a shitty DOS game while being periodically electrocuted.
== Video ==
== Transcript ==
Right here uh-huh
News Civvie-11 welcome to the dungeon its 2:48 p.m
Day 36 and today we're looking at a PC game called Corridor 7: Alien Invasion. Check out the pre PlayStation era cutscenes
Normally, I would skip these but I gotta follow the rules. So maybe they edit this out. Later
Do you guys head it this out? Please refrain from talking to the editor CV-11, okay
Okay, I get you but can I say one more thing?
What did we just tell you asshole? If you have an intro for this thing this like a review show, right?
So the Eternity is a lot of screaming a lot of explosions to throw the name.
-(ZAP!) UUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
This is all really important backstory and people should know
Yeah, all eight polygons of it
I'm glad that in the future when we get to Mars
Space suits are bulkier than ever and human arms have evolved into the more efficient t-rex design
Look I know. I'm an asshole for hating on
an intro movie in a game from 1994
But where do we draw the line between movie and slideshow?
Yep, that's a resonance cascade. Good luck with that. I
Think that alien shot fire at us, but he shows up later. It shoots exactly no fire
Capstone the pinnacle the fucking pinnacle of Entertainment Software. That's great capstone now, show me your war face. Yeah
this right here is the most fun we're gonna have I should mention that I'm reviewing the cd-rom version of this game which comes with
New weapons and ten. Yes, ten whole extra levels. I'm excited a multiplayer over modem. Yeah, we're not doing that
That's not happening without a time machine. I mean, do you guys have a time machine?
Uh-huh
Sure, all right
Okay, I'm being told to never ask that again moving on. I'm getting off-topic
So anyway, the story goes like this scientists open a portal and aliens show up and they start
What the fuck is a Blake stone? So when I say this game is like Wolfenstein 3d
I mean it's exactly like that except instead of the wholesome all-american pastime of shooting Nazis. You have aliens of a completely indeterminate species
I think the most common
Characteristics of these monsters is eyeballs cuz eyeballs are fucking spooky, right?
Carter seven uses the same engine as Wolfenstein 3d so forget about having floors or ceilings just gradients
Which is a step up
I guess it has a thing that old games had where you collect keys to go through levels
Except corridor seven has to be a dick about it
You see these consoles
Right you press the use key on them and it says this but if you hit the wrong one
It does this shit and alerts monsters. I think it depends. So after a seizure inducing loading screen that flashes red everywhere because
Okay, exterminate aliens to secure floor after I kill every alien in the level the elevator unlocks and let's believe on lower skills
It's not all of them or played on what I assume is the normal skill for this game
So if there are aliens hiding in areas like one of those crepe mazes that don't have a path marked on the map you have
To search every inch of the level thankfully usually not the secret areas. The shooting in the shooter game is mostly terrible
I'm gonna try to explain how the shooting stuff works, but I'm no cabe Carmack
So I don't really get if the wolf it's died in this fucking game use hit scans now
I'm gonna try and explain this the best that I can so bear with me. You got to remember that
This has a lot of RNG which if you're not a speed runner or something that stands for random number generation
And that means the game bases the damage on whatever the fuck it wants to and then it calculates the damage based on the distance
from the player right and the distance
You got it good long story short
It's a primitive hack together clusterfuck, but in Wolfenstein it works because it was designed by people who aren't fuck-ups
I get ambushed by two of these flying eyeballs
and the first one goes down easy shoots me once but misses I guess but the next one gets two hits in while I'm clearly
Shooting him and takes most of my health away
I don't even know if this game is hard because I can see where they're coming from on the map
But the AI is so goddamn stupid. It'll run into walls chasing you or just not chase you and fiddle shit around for a while
And the map only shows a little bit of a level unless you collect a floor plan which shows you where all the aliens are
but orienting yourself on the map is difficult because you take up two pixels on it and the slightly brighter colored pixel is what direction
you're facing maybe it was an arrow or something a
Mini god that sounds promising
Of course look at it go
Get used to this gun here because it's the only one you're gonna use the rest don't work
I mean, yeah, they'll kill him but they won't do it well in the leap through your ammo. Look here's the machine gun firing
Here's the mini gun firing the mini gun. I think uses the same ammo pool but shoots half as fast
You also get a Taser which is even shittier
And this is one of those tasers that acts like a pistol, you know, the ones that don't work like tasers at all
It's sci-fi. It doesn't matter
Once you get the minigun, the game's over just look at this
I'm not even aiming
I'm just fucking with the mouse and holding down the fire button in the CD version you get a shotgun and it sucks they give
You a shotgun of this secret right at the beginning and it's a joke
It shoots five bullets and then shows no Emma when it reloads. What is this a fucking rom hack? Why does it do that?
I guess it does damage, but it doesn't matter because the machine gun you start out with whilst unlock the enemies
Anyway, if the COS stake out shotgun is it actually called the Ithaca stakeout shotgun today?
I think I have a deal to have their weapon promoted in this game
I doubt it cuz I'd never used one of these shotguns to hunt aliens after playing. This doesn't even look like the Ithaca stakeout
I hope that if the casues capstone out of existence. Oh
Okay, and then the alien blaster rifle how the fuck did they take over this whole research facility with this piece of shit?
Cuz everybody was using if the COS shotguns
What just hit me?
what the
Okay, what
We turn on my night vision
No, nothing. I have been paren too, I guess and it's an invisible laser
Am I supposed to just walk around with this ugly red fucking virtual boy filter on the screen just so I can't get fucked by
Your invisible traps. Fuck you
In order to actually see these you have to make the game even
Uglier and your visor battery runs out fairly quickly
And you have to find more and the visor is only really useful for these traps in one enemy. So seriously, fuck you
Gesundheit
Okay, so you go through like 30 levels of this Mazie bullshit and like in Wolfenstein you can find secrets but they mostly suck most
levels have a secret where you can push a wall back and it takes you to a tunnel that runs around the entire level letting
You maybe get two areas you wouldn't be able to before
Okay, but look at this. I'm just wall humping as you did in these old games. I fight a secret
Wall right behind that there's a console that gives me access to the red doors
So I go back to the red doors
I found earlier in the level and what's inside two more consoles that give me access to the red doors
What Bumblefuck designed this after I finished the level and said I found all the secrets
So unless there's a monster hiding in there on a higher difficulty, which would be some cheap bullshit anyway
Because you have to find a secret in order to get into it. There's no point to opening those doors
Why are you wasting my time? There are bonus levels too and I could talk about how shitty they are
So I will if you play this game out a normal skill, you're gonna find the bonus level
It's almost always guarded by a boss monster
Which is usually the boss monster you face at the end of the section, so believe it or not
You can face the final boss early the first one. It's just four rooms full of monsters
And you only have your weak ass starting weapons for it
They're not balanced or tested or anything just a bunch of shit thrown at you if you die
It sends you to the next level instead of sending into the beginning of the bonus stage
Which is pointless cuz I can still load my game from the middle of the bonus stage
You're just wasting my fucking time showing me a stat screen. The second one is there to piss you off?
I mean, yeah
It hints that you should turn on the visor by gaming your visor batteries at the start
Then you find out it's a roomful of these
Shape-shifting things and I'm going to show you what this game expects you to do
Navigate through this little maze of laser traps get to the next room get one of the invincibility power-ups
so the game can be ugly and nearly unplayable at the same time and then go deal with the
Shapeshifters and also the room with the invulnerability is filled with barrels that look like the ones that shapeshifters are disguised as great
But here's what I did tagged through with the minigun then went into a useless room with no monsters
No health and a bunch of power-ups
I can't use why because it's easier to just shoot them out there instead of go through a dark eye gouging red-tinted shit show
Whoever decide this game. Oh wait, there's a secret room with credits and you know what?
I don't say level designers 33 shots hit huh. So how the fuck did I killed 47 aliens? Yellow scientists
Could somebody explain that why these shapeshifters have to be everywhere?
It's supposed to make me paranoid I get it but there's a line between being paranoid and feeling like a fucking moron for running into
a room and shooting up all the furniture
You can shoot through force fields. What the fuck is the point of a force field you could shoot through
So killing all the aliens is the objective in most levels except the last one, but I don't want to spoil it
So in the last level you have to enter the portal
I mean at this point the game stop giving me ammo for the minigun
So I was stuck using the shittiest weapons
Which they gave me nearly no ammo for so there's bunch of rooms on this map filled with invisible
Monsters one room has health and ammo in it which is across from the rooms where you do the final boss rush
So 90% of this level is completely unnecessary. They're not behind locked doors
You just fight all the bosses again one by one in tiny little rooms take damage
Go to a health chamber across the hall pick up some ammo go back and then take on the next boss fun
Right, so we get to the final boss who we remember from level 25 kill it and walk into the portal room. Yep
time to go have some fun on a boxy alien planet or
Here's the thing the cd-rom version of this game tells you to enter the portal and you can absolutely do that
However, the disc version since it doesn't have the ten extra levels ends there and you're told that the beginning of the level to destroy
the portal I
Don't understand what good shooting bullets into a portal does I'm not a scientist
But I'm surprised that the portal takes damage from it even in the CD version
Where you can just shoot at it a lot and it dies and then the ending cutscene plays like I finished the game you come
Back from the alien planet destroy the portal and you get a medal from the president
I
Just skipped a quarter of the game. How's my efficiency rated now? Motherfucker. I stopped the invasion in record time
Is that a win? Does that count?
Yes
Before capstone went out of business. They started work on corridor 8 galactic Wars which you can find online and Oh for fuck's sake
I'm not even gonna make fun of that (arm Electrocute device)
Yeah, but it's like a prototype. Why would I do that? It's knit a little out of line
It's not even finished and I get to be an asshole-(ZAP!) OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
== Trivia ==
== Behind the Scenes ==
Category:Episodes
Category:Season 1
Category:Capstone
Category:Remade Videos