Count Dracula vs Freddy Krueger

The vicious vampire of the night, Count Dracula, and Wes Craven's Dream Demon, Freddy Krueger, rap against each other to see who is the better horror icon.
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Instrumental: Psycho by Dansonn
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
COUNT DRACULA
VS
FREDDY KRUEGER
BEGIN!
===Count Dracula:===
It's from the midst of Transylvania I am summoned
To do battle with Wolverine's fashion-impaired cousin
You're Craven a win but you shouldn't Count on it
‘Cause my bite is iconic! What you know about gothic?
My name's feared throughout right down to the letter
No one’s scared of Edward Scissors in a Christmas sweater
Your execution scene’s cerebrums of snoozing teens
But know you can’t win in yours, let alone my dreams
===Freddy Krueger:===
Christ Lee oughta stick to sleepin’ and leave scream-weavin’ to the demons
So welcome to prime time, gramps! I got something you can sink your teeth in,
Watch your worst nightmares come true and undo what you’ve come to,
And Count von Count the seconds left until your reckoning; One, Two!
The kids check under their bed for Fred, not some necktie wearing dead guy,
While you dilly-daddle in a silly castle, I run the Street! Wes side!
You’ll bore any kid to snores while the horror critics love me,
And when my verbal furnace has surfaced, boy, I hope you brought some sunscreen!
(Frankenstein’s Monster plods in from off-screen.)
===Frankenstein's Monster:===
On the subject of burns, what of that boiler room blaze?
Now it looks like Freddy slept in his spaghetti bolognese
Your gore stories are abhorrent! When will the cut and paste be finished?
‘Cause the guts of your movies are literally just the innards
Our novels have substance, you lack moral question
Just monotonous shockfests with repetitive resurrection
So it’s Crystal clear we should finally put this stubborn goon to bed
And I may chew your neck, but don’t lose your head
===Freddy Krueger:===
Scared of torches and pitchforks? I got both of ‘em on one glove,
This is God speaking, dishing out divine judgement onto Adam from above!
(Jason Voorhees lobs off Freddy’s head from behind.)
===Jason Voorhees:===
You gotta get down on Friday, ‘cause once the machete’s skewered Freddy Krueger,
It’s heading for two unsteady losers, and Jason X’s gon’ give it to ya
If it ain’t my favorite Hockey Punk, coming to join the rap fest,
To show Chocula and Frankenberry they’re cereal killers at best
Send what’s left of the Monster back to the Doctor, ‘cause snitches get stitches
It’d be a worse fate to leave him livin’, but I’ll rip him to bits like his mistress,
Time for a shocker when sparks are spit and jump-start a reanimated carcass
Just a glance into my eyes is ten times as chilling as the Arctic
I’ll trample the vamp’s legacy harsher than any stone-faced starlet,
Cooking you up like creepy pasta, and the secret ingredient is garlic
(The Wolf Man leaps into the fray)
===The Wolf Man:===
I preferred Jay's silence, so this’ll be his Final Chapter
Incisors twice the violence of a knife or spinal fracture
‘Cause when this canine takes a bite into your frightful tropes, then I can show
There’s nothing quite alike a lycanthrope up on the microphone
HOWL
I’ll de-mask this weak-ass mama’s boy with a clean slash
I’m surprised he hasn’t drowned in his own ocean of rehash
You’ve no notion of screams, just screen trash for a Hallowe’en bash
How can you best real monsters when you couldn’t even beat Ash?
You’re feeble, we’re fearsome, inequal in evil!
And you have the worst lines that we’ve seen since your sequels!
If we took those blades off your hands, what would stand
Is an immortal child molester and the Elephant Man
(Michael Myers walks in from in between Freddy and Jason, pushing them out of the way)
===Michael Myers:===
This isn’t your musical, but Frankie’s catching a case of stagefright
‘Cause the thirty-first’s your date-night with the Shape and his steak knife
Who will take the life of a raging canine if he doesn’t play nice
Keep howling at the moon and you'll be Dead by Daylight
Stumble away as fast as you can, but I always do my targets in,
You’re not frightening, I’d find all three of you in a Party City bargain bin
This dog’s forgotten who he’s messing with like he’s got dementia,
So once you make it back to hell, you can tell ‘em Freddy sent ya
===Announcer:===
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES
(The logo is skewered from behind by Freddy's glove, Jason's machete, and Michael's knife)
Of...
<poll>
WHO WON?
Monsters
Slashers
</poll>