Splitting Hares

Splitting Hares was a virtual representation of one of Eivor Varinsdottir's genetic memories, relived by Layla Hassan through the Portable Animus HR-8.5.
==Description==
A woman asks for help dealing with the pests in her garden.
==Dialogue==
Eivor approached an angry woman at a farm.
*Gerhild: Stop eating my garden, you filthy little things!Hey! I saw you, get back here!Where are you hiding now?
Eivor approached the woman.
*Eivor: You seem distressed.
*Gerhild: So would you be if your every crop of turnips was demolished by a horde of mangy horrors!
*Eivor: I assume you mean the rabbits in that field?
*Gerhild: Aye, them! They're nowt but rats with ears stuck on! I'd slay 'em if I could, but they're too damned fast.
She turned towards the fields.
*Gerhild: When I catch you, I'll impale you! Maim you! Send you to bunny Hell!
Eivor climbed over the fence and attacked the rabbits.
*Gerhild: That's right! Get in there! Mash their little bunny heads in!Go on! Nail those bobtailed little shits!Three less pesky vermin bastards in the world!Yes! That's what you get for eating my turnips, you bucktoothed fuckanapes!
Eivor killed the final rabbit.
*Gerhild: You got them! Every last one! Exterminated like the hairballs of Satan that they are!
A man came running towards the fields.
*Ahlstan: Flopsy? Lord Snuffles! What have they done to you?
*Gerhild: Just taking care of business, Ahlstan. I warned you what would happen if you let them in my turnip patch again.
*Ahlstan: My babies! They're not to blame! How could you? You've gone too far this time, wife!
Gerhild walked off triumphant leaving Ahlstan to grieve. Eivor climbed out of the turnip patch and spoke to him.
*Eivor: You gave names to those rabbits?
*Ahlstan: They were my best friends. My only friends. They just... they loved turnips so much! I couldn't deny them!
*Eivor: And the chance to torment your wife was not at all in your thoughts, I suppose?
*Ahlstan: What other amusement do I have in this grim and cheerless life? I am wed to a sour-faced shrew, her misery my only joy. Look at her scowling now! Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle. See what I must wake up to each morn?
<tabber>
|-|I'm sorry.=
|-|They're just stupid animals.=
|-|You two should not be together.=
*Eivor: There is little of love in your dealings. Is there no way you could leave her?
*Ahlstan: Leave her? And have her think she has won? Never!
</tabber>
She then walked over to speak to Gerhild.
*Eivor: Those were your husband's rabbits?
*Gerhild: Aye, and he loved them nearly as much as I love my turnips. Look at him cry now. The sharpest pain is the sweetest ache.
*Eivor: Is cruelty the only coin in your marriage?
*Gerhild: O, no. There's also spite and malice.
Eivor walked away thinking to herself.
*Eivor: These two are a match in misery. I should leave them be. They deserve each other.
==Outcome==
Eivor killed all the rabbits eating the woman's turnips, later discovering they were her husband's rabbits.
==References==
*Assassin's Creed: Valhalla
Category:Memories of Eivor Varinsdottir
Category:Memories relived using the Animus HR-8.5