The Creep

This is the third episode of Into the Spongyverse.
==Transcript==
(TPSS Patrick is on the ceiling, sleeping in his bed)
TPSS Patrick: (snoring, then wakes up) Wow, that was a long sleep. Even for me. (looks at his watch) 16 hours! Wow, I'm so glad I have my own house now. No more nagging parents-
Bunny: Oh, Patrick! Breakfast!
TPSS Patrick: Why did I say that?
(A greenish fish is staring at him through his bedroom window)
Slappy: Dang, lookin’ good, Patrick.
TPSS Patrick: Huh? Who said that?
Slappy: I'm your biggest fan.
TPSS Patrick: Okay, I'm really weirded out right now.
Slappy: Don't be. I'm here for you. Forever.
(TPSS Patrick shudders as he promptly closes the window curtains)
Bunny: Everything alright in there, Patrick? It doesn't usually take you this long to get dressed.
TPSS Patrick: Mom, do you know anything about creepy people?
Bunny: Of course I do, Patrick. As a woman, I've dealt with them my entire life.
TPSS Patrick: Sounds rough.
Bunny: Yeah, but that's what I get for being a woman.
Cecil: Heh, imagine being a woman. Man supremacy!
TPSS Patrick: (laughs) You're funny, dad.
Cecil: Wait I am?
(Meanwhile at the original Patrick's house)
Patrick: (brushing his teeth with a plunger) Something doesn't feel right.
Slappy: That's because I'm watching you, Patrick.
Patrick: AHH! WHO ARE YOU?
Slappy: I forget my real name, but everyone calls me Slappy, heheheheh.
Patrick: Get out of my house, creep!
Slappy: Heheheh. I'm no creep. I'm just your biggest fan.
Patrick: I already have a biggest fan, and that's SpongeBob! Now get out before I… I… I…
Slappy: Ugh, fine. But remember Patrick, I'll be back sooner than you think. (slithers out of the rock)
Patrick: And stay out! People these days, it's like they just can't get a life. Maybe writing fanfiction will keep my mind off this moment.
(Cut to the cabin, where Young Patrick is playing volleyball with Young SpongeBob)
Young SB: Hey Patrick?
Young Patrick: (hitting the volleyball with his forehead) Yeah?
Young SB: You ever wonder if someone is watching us?
Young Patrick: Now that you say it, yeah.
Slappy: I'm watching you…
Young Patrick: GAH! STRANGER DANGER! (throws his pants at Slappy, blinding him)
Slappy: I can't see.
Young SB: (looking at Patrick In his underwear) I can never unsee that.
Young Patrick: Hey at least I'm not nude SpongeBob.
Slappy: That'd be nice.
Young SB: AHH! CREEP!
(Young SB throws one of his shoes at Slappy, knocking him backwards)
Slappy: I guess this is a sign I'm not welcome right now. I'll be back later…
(Slappy slithers away again)
Young Patrick: That guy really likes me for some strange reason.
Young SB: You think the other folks have any idea on what's going on?
(Cut to Young Patrick and TPSS Patrick at the original Patrick's house)
Patrick: So I'm not the only one being watched around here?
Young Patrick: Yeah, he even said he wanted to see me nude! Nude!
Patrick: That's a little sus if I say so myself. Hahahaha, that meme is dead.
TPSS Patrick: At least we're not women.
(The other two Patricks stare at him)
TPSS Patrick: What? Women get stalked all the time.
Patrick: Hey, I have an idea! Let's go ask Sandy for advice!
Young Patrick: Which one?
Patrick: The one from my world.
(Cut to Sandy's treedome)
Sandy: A creep, huh? I've dealt with somea those.
TPSS Patrick: Told ya.
Patrick: We thought we'd ask you since you're good at… psyduck or whatever it's called.
Sandy: Patrick, that's a Pokémon.
Patrick: Oh, right. So can you help us?
Sandy: Well, this dome is pretty transparent, so we'd be able to catch him quicker than a jackrabbit in corn stew.
(All the Patricks stare at Sandy)
Sandy: Never mind, just forget it.
Slappy: (outside the dome) Mmm, all three at once, huh?
Young Patrick: There he is! The creep! The guy who wanted to see me with my undies off!
Sandy: I hate to say it, but I think this guy can be called worse words than creep. Worse than I'm willing to say.
TPSS Patrick: Well so far he hasn't entered the dome, and this place has decent security from what I saw.
(A door is heard opening, and Slappy appears)
Sandy: Gah! That was high tech security too!
Slappy: Hey.
Sandy: Out.
Slappy: Oh come on, can't we just go out and play?
Sandy: You sir are a criminal. I'm calling the cops right now.
Slappy: You wouldn't wanna do that.
Sandy: Oh, I would!
French Narrator: Meanwhile…
Young SpongeBob: I hope Patrick gets that creepy guy sorted out. In the meantime though, I feel like doing something I should’ve done long ago: catch a jellyfish.
???: Jellyfish, eh?
Young SpongeBob: AAAA! Who said that?
SpongeBob: Me, silly! Your older self!
Young SpongeBob: Wow, you look… different.
SpongeBob: Yeah that’s just how things go around here. I’m a jellyfishing expert so I’ll teach you all the ropes.
Young SpongeBob: Wow, if my older self is an expert then surely I can be too!
SpongeBob: That’s right young one, now let’s get jellyfishing!
(Bubble transition to a montage of Young SpongeBob trying to catch a jellyfish. He constantly rails, and the current SpongeBob desperately tries to keep his patience)
SpongeBob: Whoa whoa whoa, you’re doing it completely wrong. Now watch me, young one.
Young SpongeBob: Okay.
(SpongeBob brandishes his jellyfishing net like he usually does, and gets ready to catch a nearby jellyfish)
Young SpongeBob: Ooh, a blue one!
SpongeBob: Silence, young Bob. This is important. Now then… (he swipes his net to successfully catch the blue jellyfish) You see that?
Young SpongeBob: Uh-huh!
SpongeBob: Now then… (he lets the jellyfish go free and gives his net to Young SpongeBob) You have a go.
Young SpongeBob: Alright then…
(A green jellyfish appears nearby, and Young SpongeBob tries to imitate his older self’s movements, but falls flat on his face)
SpongeBob: Did it really take me this long to learn how to jellyfish?
Young SpongeBob: You tell me.
SpongeBob: Fair point, I suppose. There’s another art I should probably teach you first.
Young SpongeBob: Another art?! What’s that?
SpongeBob: Kah-rah-tay.
(Another montage plays, this time of Young SpongeBob learning how to do karate. He karate chops a block of wood, only to injure himself)
SpongeBob: You get used to it.
Young SpongeBob: THE PAIN! IT’S UNBEARABLE! (blows at his hand)
SpongeBob: Get through the pain, young sponge. I know you can do it!
(Several blocks later…)
Young SpongeBob: Phew, and finally chopped through one block!
(A close-up shot of his red, throbbing hand appears)
SpongeBob: Eek. Let’s just get back to jellyfishing before something worse happens to you.
Young SpongeBob: Alright!
(This time, a purple jellyfish appears nearby)
SpongeBob: Heheh, I think the jellyfish like you.
Young SpongeBob: Okay, this time I can do it. One… two… 
(Cut back to Sandy’s treedome, where the cops pull up)
Cop 1: Nothing out of the ordinary so far.
Cop 2: Nothing? We’re literally pulling up to an air dome!
Cop 1: (puts on water helmet) Gotta be prepared for anything nowadays.
Cop 2: (also puts on water helmet) You’re right.
(They break down the door to the treedome)
Cop 1: Freeze, neanderthals!
Cop 2: Wow I thought you were going to say something much worse.
Cop 1: Must we go through this every time?
Slappy: Ah, the cops. Nice to meet you.
Cop 2: That guy looks like a creep.
Sandy: I really need to get new doors after this.
Young Patrick: There he is, officers! That’s the guy who wants to see me naked!
Slappy: And what’s wrong with that, hmm?
Cop 1: Ew. A predator. Get him!
Slappy: You won’t be able to get me this time, coppers. (disappears behind Sandy’s picnic table)
Cop 2: We’re trained professionals, we can handle this.
(Both the cops head under the picnic table to attack Slappy, and a fighting cloud appears)
TPSS Patrick: So um, while this very climactic fight happens, what should we do?
Sandy: Anyone played Wordle lately?
Patrick: Hey didn’t the New Kelp Times buy that or something?
Sandy: Yeah? Who would pay to play Wordle?
TPSS Patrick: Alright, I’m stupid, but not THAT stupid, okay?
Sandy: Well at least you’re self-aware.
TPSS Patrick: That is true.
Slappy: Ha-ha! I win!
Cop 1: You didn’t win anything! You’re just…
Cop 2: Stronger than us?
Cop 1: (defeated) Yeah.
Sandy: Okay, these cops are worthless. (rolls up her sleeves) Get ready for a butt whoopin’!
Slappy: Heheh, she can’t do anything to me.
(WHACK!)
Slappy: Oww, I think I have a concussion…
(Cop 2 puts handcuffs on Slappy and takes him away)
Cop 1: Thanks for your help, madam. I don’t know how I could repay you.
Sandy: Don’t bother. Really.
Cop 1: If you say so. Toodles!
(The cops drive off in their police car)
Slappy: Heheh… I’ll be back… actually I have no idea if I’ll be back. Ohh… please don’t be a life sentence.
TPSS Patrick: All’s well that smells well.
Sandy: It’s “ends well”, Patrick.
Patrick: Which one?
Sandy: For Neptune’s sake… (facepalms)
(Meanwhile, back in Jellyfish Fields)
Young SpongeBob: THREE!
(Young SpongeBob successfully manages to catch his first jellyfish)
Young SpongeBob: I DID IT!
SpongeBob: See, I told you you could do it!
Young SpongeBob: And all it took was a temporary plot change!
SpongeBob: I have no idea what you’re talking about!
Young SpongeBob: Wait, I actually did catch a jellyfish once. Several, actually.
SpongeBob: So all that was for nothing?
Young SpongeBob: I guess so.
SpongeBob: (punches himself in the face and knocks himself out, ending the episode)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:2022
Category:2022 Episodes
Category:2022 Transcripts
Category:2020s