There Ain't No Rest For The Sweg Pals (The Jam)

This episode of The Jam is brought to you by sweg.
(episode starts with Kontrast reading a book, with Lenneh sitting next to him.)
Kontrast: “Siderella the talking avocado sat on the wooden bench, baking in the July sunshine…”
Lenneh: Is Siderella hairy?
Kontrast: She’s an avocado. So probably.
Kontrast: *looks up to see the main characters talking to each other, and closes his book*
Kontrast: Gee, why can’t we be main characters? We have some interesting stories and ideas to share, why are we just here for comic relief?
Lenneh: We’re like those Cutie Mark Crusader freaks from that one pony show. We’re here to do something stupid, and then the morale of the story is don’t be stupid.
Lenneh: But, unlike the CMC, we don’t even get our own episodes.
Kontrast: We could just get the producers to give us our own episodes…
Lenneh: But how?
Kontrast: We’re wacky comic relief characters, we can break the fourth wall all we’d like.
Lenneh: So how do we get to them?
Kontrast: In a car. By the way, how old are you?
Lenneh: Thirteen.
Kontrast: Okay, so neither of us know how to drive.
(Both Lenneh and Kontrast are silent for a moment)
Kontrast: Let’s do it anyways!
(scene changes to Kontrast and Lenneh sitting in a Walmart parking lot)
Lenneh: How are we going to get a car?
Kontrast: Steal it.
Lenneh: Well that’s r00d
Kontrast: We’re comic relief characters, we can get away with breaking the law.
(a woman in a car drives by)
(Kontrast pulls shotgun from behind his back and taps on car window.)
Kontrast: GET OUT.
Lenneh: Wait, let me guess how you got the shotgun. We’re comic relief characters?
Kontrast: Exactly.
(the woman gets out of the car)
Woman: HEL-
Lenneh: (is holding their own shotgun, which they use to shoot the woman into the sun)
Kontrast: You’re getting better at this!
(scene switches to Kontrast and Lenneh driving in a car)
Kontrast: (looks in rear view mirror)
Kontrast: Ah, shoot. The cops are after us.
(car stops, and a policeman comes to the window)
Kontrast: Yes, sir?
Policeman: How old are you?
Kontrast (is holding shotgun, which he uses to shoot the cop in the eye)
Lenneh: Okay, I can see someone shooting someone else into the sun being funny, but that was just cruel.
Kontrast: That’s another thing about being a goofy side character. Your actions don’t weigh anything against the plot.
Kontrast: As the comic relief characters, it’s perfectly acceptable to ruin the plot’s consistency, or break the fourth wall. As long as it’s for the lols, right?
Lenneh: Wow, that’s pretty deep. Now that I think about it, we are just stand-ins for comedy.
Kontrast: Exactly. That’s what I plan on changing today.
(the car pulls up to a studio)
Lenneh: Well, this is their house.
(Kontrast and Lenneh get out of the car, and Kontrast knocks on the door.)
TBA
Category:Episodes