You Know You're......

(A/N Not for the readers of Why Did You Leave Me?)
I Have No Idea Where This Came From
You Know You're A Redneck When.....
#You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
#You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hog.
#You've been married three times and still have the same in-law.
#You think Taco Bell is a mexican phone company.
#You think possum is the "Other White Meat."
#You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
#You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
#You've got more than one brother with the name "Darryl."
#The people on the 'Jerry Springer' show look like your neighbors.
#You think fast food is hitting a possum at 60 mph.
#And the last way is.....You take a six-pack cooler to church.
You Know You're From Iowa When.....
#You’ll skip your cousin’s funeral for the first day of deer season.
#You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
#You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.
#You think people are idiots who say: “You grow great potatoes there.”• You are walking knee-deep in snow.
#Your Christmas gift, when you were ten years old was a shotgun (aBB gun if you were a ‘townie’)..
#“Hick” is a style of clothing.
#There’s a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
#The only reason you go to Wisconsin, South Dakota or Missouri is to get fireworks.
#You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings)...
#Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
#You drink “pop”, do the “warsh”, fish in the “crick” and shingle the “ruff”
#You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
#The local gas station sells live bait.
You Know You're Obsessed With Percy Jackson and the Olympians When....
#You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor. 
#There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
#Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes. 
#You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
#Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family. 
#You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood
#You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies. 
#You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months. 
#You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address. 
#You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games. 
#You are a PJO character for Halloween. 
#Recite lines randomly from the books. 
#When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it. 
#You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas
#You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you. 
#That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword. 
#Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor. 
#Whenever your internet slows (or gets shut) down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!" 
#When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera" 
Category:Completed Stories/Poems
Category:EvanescenceLover