Chakra Flush Purification

"Is there anything bad going on in your life? Literally anything? It’s probably because of toxins. Our modern lifestyle is toxic, and those toxins are very damaging to your lower chakras.  Fortunately, I can help. Hi there, my name is Pastor Doctor Flourchyld, and I’m an experienced colonomancer. What we do is very complicated, magical, and scientific, but the basics of it are like this: I take this here hose, and I put it into your butthole. Then I pump a bunch of water into your butt, until you’re all filled up with water, then I pump that water back out, and all your brown sticky toxins come out along with it. Of course, as I said, this is just a layman’s overview. You don’t get a title like “colonomancer” for doing something simple, after all! Haha! So anyway, come on down, get tetoxified, and start living a better life…today!"