Funky Columbia Machinery

* See also Gianormous Infinite BS
* See also Gianormous Statues
* See also Technology_In_Columbias_Era
* See also Columbia_Era_Machines (real)
* See also Infinite Stupidity
* See also Tower and Siphon
* See also Quantum Hokem - only part of Ininite's bad fantasy content
Lots of Huge Machinery Details in Columbia
Huge, as well as frequently not making mechanical sense.
As bad as SteamPunkers 'Gluing Gears to their Top Hats, when CosPlaying''Glueing Gears To Top Hats' is a Cliche about LAZY 'crafting' of Props for CosPlay SteamPunkery.
Machinery and Infrastructure of the Derp Kind ...
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ControlPanels.jpg|Funny are those Valves ? Thoughtless Detail - Glued to a Brick wall. 
SkyLineControlStation.jpg
Viewzing.jpg|Gears are the "trademark" of SteamPunk ... And Giant Ones MUST BE BETTER
WTF_Dis.jpg|Gianty Pumpy things for something ...
WeirdMachinery.jpg|All this heavy shit on a Zeppelin ? Well, "Gamemakers" arent known for Knowing "Shit All" ...
MagicSwitch.jpg|Love these Controls ...
Controlz.jpg
BigMachines.jpg
GianourmityMustBeBetter.jpg|Gianourmous ...A
LuteceEspresso.jpg
ItzScience.jpg|Circuits !!!
TheContraption.jpg|Well yopu would expect a 'Transdimensional Machine' to look Kludgey
ThisBeTheWay.jpg|Big Mechanical Lever ... ( not a huge amount of finesse control there ... )
ClockFetish.jpg|These seem to be 'For Show' 
AirShipControls.jpg|Air Ship Controls - apparently
MoreGianourmousWheels.jpg
Pipingfordummies.jpg
SteamPunkWhacky.jpg|Seriously, What is the point of this ????
ToWhatPurpose.jpg|Giant Machines require Giant Buildings ...
YeahManufacturing.jpg
Faux_Machinery.jpg
DontEverLet.jpg
TowerGears.jpg
FloatyShitExtreme.jpg
Machinery11.jpg
RadioKKK.jpg
VoiceOfTheRaven.jpg
Zeppelin_Avionics.jpg
KindaDefectiveDesign.jpg
WhatCretin.jpg
JustBad.jpg
DolbySippy.jpg
Floatyshitt_tm.jpg
BigWowScene.jpg
Throwback.jpg|Wagons in a city with no actual road network - DERRRRRRP !!!
Technology.jpg
Vendo_Hebrew.jpg
AbsurdPipes.jpg
PlatformGameJump.jpg
TheChair.jpg
GunMfg.jpg
AsembLine.jpg
FreightHook22.jpg
SeriouslyWhatIsThePointOfThis.jpg
ConceptPreQuantumz.jpg
Absurdity.jpg
KNOWNOTHING_GORP.jpg
FantasyWhyBother.jpg
Ridiculoussize22.jpg
FeebClock.jpg|Big and Stupid - Like so much in Columbia/Infinite.
PrettyGoldenPipes.jpg|Giant Pipes 
NeedSewers.jpg|Not Sure WHY there would be a Cap over an OBVIOUS Sewer Outlet
SteamPunkyIsh.jpg|Supposedly a Power Source - Using ADAM ( Genetic Physiological ??? )
BeyondGianourmousFactory.jpg|Weirdly places and scaled Smokestack 'Props'
WeirdPlumbing.jpg|Huge pipes with no good reason -needed to fill the ridiculously large game terrain
PipingForIdiots.jpg|Pipes used as LAZY terrain filler - No reason to exist
LandOfMorons.jpg|Absurd Transport that would be an embarrassment even to a village-idiot tier SteamPunker
AbsurdPipes.jpg|Pipes are easy - Easy Filler Props
OooohChinery.jpg
ILuvMachinezDontPhysicallWork.jpg
Hmmmm222.jpg
GondolaAutomaton.jpg
OddLights.jpg
FactoryYeah.jpg
LizzysTearz.jpg
DontEverLet.jpg
FacultyUnsafe.jpg
Science_Yeah.jpg
SkylineControl.jpg
SkylineControl2.jpg
Vendo2.jpg
WireThere.jpg
WhaaaGenetic.jpg
SeriouslyStupidPipes.jpg|This is INSIDE a Building ...
CrazyClockShit.jpg|Whaaaa ? Steam Powered Clocks ????
FunkyBalloonFlames.jpg|I First Saw 'THIS in the Trailers, and knew this Infinite game was off into LaLa-Land BadFantasy.
Gia-Things.jpg|Odd big gears ( normally a housing placed around mechanisms )
Strangeness17.jpg|Gears as seen by artists (the clueless)
Sabatoogie.jpg|Ooooh - these Derpy 'Zeppelins' are Electric Vehicles !!!
OddMaKhinery.jpg|Electric Motor ? They musta had a Mountainous Pile Of Blue Shock Jockey Crystalz to power this thing.
FunkMachinez.jpg|Big oversized chunks of Machinery which just seem to stand there by themselves ( This Motor Doesn't seem to be connected to anything )
CraneThingBosh.jpg|These Gamemakers really did NOT KNOW much about real machinery ...NOT KNOW much -- These Gamemakers demonstrated a Critical Lack of Worldmaking ability - with the Historic aspect they bragged about and prattled on about in interviews - endlessly. The Shame IS : It does NOT take that much effort - especially with how static so much in the game was.
NotAnOtisElevator.jpg|An 'Elevator' with ropes and ship rigging details ... ( We coulda had a nifty Quantum Floaty Elevator, NO ? )
AControlBoard.jpg|So many fancy control panels. SO many gauges. The gamemakers are clueless - Aren't they ...
PowerThingees.jpg|Some weird device/machinery inside "The Hand Of The Prophet". Something reminiscent of old Frankenstein Movies
Oh_joy_more_of_it.jpg|The Concept of Cranes (how they operate/what they do was another thing the gamemakers did not seem to understand much about ...
FunkyMachinesTheseBe.jpg|Something to do with Skylines
MachinesByIdiots.jpg|Piston, Rod, with Arm - Rod should be aligned (straight up). THIS Arm Linkage goes Nowhere ( half of it is not there ).
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Free Falling possibly to 700 to 1000 Feet Per Second ?
Would Hit the ground and a Nice Pile of Junk would remain 
WW2 Bombs would dig/bury themselves into the ground hitting like that.
Is That Robert E Lee ?
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Normally, for Aesthetics, Much Infrastructure is Hidden/Covered-up
They would have spent so much money building this absurd fantasy monstrosity, so they could have had it decorated correctly.
Problem was : They made it so stupidly oversized, that instead of filling in with harder to make GOOD Decorations ( requiring lots of work and imagination ) or having plain Blank walls, they had a load of Shit-Props. So, the level developers filled in with easy crap. The place DID NOT LOOK LIKE IT WAS PLAUSIBLE. 
But no matter, they had to hustle you through the terrain to get you to the next firefight or ludicrous story scene. The Player soon learns to ignore most of this pointless terrain detail. Bright garish coloring and lighting just got ordinary and uninteresting and meaningless.
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All Those Humongus Locks :
Like the Players could not be Trusted To Find Them. They also seem to get simpler as the Player wipes out all the evildoers in the vicinity or achieved some game sub-goal.
As this says, you ( via Elizabeth ) are not allowed to Pick locks during combat, so that was another forced path-blocker - making you have to clear all Opponents in an area before proceeding
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This is really basic. A fundamental mechanism. Artists who don't even bother to LOOK at real ones.
Little things add up.
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And Gianourmous Clocks :
GianournousClock.jpg
FeebClock.jpg
CrazyClockShit.jpg
ClockFetish.jpg
SteamPoweredClock.jpg
SteamPunkWhack2.jpg|The gamemakers need to be forced to make one of these to understand how absurd ...
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Wow, Particle Powered Motors :
Sabatoogie.jpg
OddMaKhinery.jpg
ElectrocutionHazard.jpg
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It is too bad the game Story's writers did not figure out that this 'power' would/could/should somehow be used to support (other than float) Columbia's existence - And so, Elizabeth being Freed would thus 'Doom the City'. That would be some epic 'Fragility of High Technology' theme which could be taken as an analogy to OUR Modern World. Instead, a 'Hodge-Podge' of lip-service-presented issues infest the game.
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