Lazarus Lizard

== Overview ==
Lazarus Lizard is the former model for SoBe.
== Detailed Biography ==
Lazarus Lizard is the former lizard model for SoBe bottles. He was born in Norfolk, CT to a poor, traditional family. His mother was a dental hygienist, and his father is unemployed. His twin brother is the other SoBe model.
Once SoBe went under, Lazarus fell on hard times. He’s been relatively poor ever since, but was recently hired at the Herpy Hotel (also known as the SLizzard Lizzard). Dirty Dani called in to confirm Lazarus’s employment and asked if he would replace Weecho as the hotel's bellboy, which he accepts.
Lazarus continues to air his grievances and share his heart, which includes detailing his ecstasy problem from the mid- to late-90s. This drug abuse caused him to grow a third foot. Dillon also confirms that there is an entire universe where SoBe is still around, and it's largely because Lazarus was kicked off the brand before his drug problem started.
But now, Lazarus has turned his life around and does Cameo appearances, although the more he talks about it the more Dillon believes he's tied up in a money laundering scheme. Lazarus walks up to a local church window, hands them money from Chip Flames, speaks a Cameo script into the window, and the church returns less money.
== Appearances ==
Grievances