Goofballs/February 8, 2015

==Screenplay==
SCENE 1
FADE IN:
EXT. SEPTEM CITY - ENTRANCE - MIDDAY
DA NERD (V.O.)
It all started here.
DA NERD wears a backpack and carries two bags as he walks alone down the entrance path of Septem City.
DA NERD (V.O.)
I was new to the city. I’d
just moved here, and I felt
like I needed to do something
big to let people know who I am.
EXT. STATUE OF SEVENISM - MIDDAY
Da Nerd stands proudly looking at a statue in the shape of a 7, holding a hammer, as to imply he built it.
DA NERD (V.O.)
(cont’d)
So what better than to build a
statue admiring seven in all
of its glory?
FADE TO:
Many people gather around the statue, admiring it and snapping photos. 
DA NERD (V.O.)
The statue got people’s attention
quickly, and it eventually became
so popular...
EXT. SMALL HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - MIDDAY
VIOLET, wearing an official City Hall uniform, knocks on the door of a small badly constructed house.
Da Nerd opens the door.
DA NERD (V.O.)
(cont’d)
...that City Hall even reached out
to me and offered me a job.
Da Nerd’s face instantly turns infinitely excited in agreement. He shakes Violet’s hand, and Violet leaves.
DA NERD (V.O.)
And now... 
EXT. CITY HALL - FRONT ENTRANCE - MIDDAY - DRAMATIC LIGHTING
BOB, WILLIAM, Violet, Da Nerd, TOPH, SIMON and ADAM, in uniform, pose dramatically outside the City Hall building.
DA NERD (V.O.)
(cont’d)
...I work with the other 6 leaders
of the city, all of us unique
teenagers who run it alone.
With help from other people we
hire occasionally, of course.
MONTAGE: Various future leaders being greeted by a current City Hall leader, being offered a job.
DA NERD (V.O.)
Of course, people were made leaders
over time, and had to work up to
that point to earn their trust.
EXT. CITY HALL - A LONG TIME AGO - BLACK & WHITE
Young ARRE, PHIN and AMK stand unsurely in front of City Hall, striking a pose, kind of?
DA NERD (V.O.)
It didn’t start out this way. The
city was actually founded a long,
long time ago by the ancestors of
Violet, and she’s pretty much in
charge of everything now, even us.
INT. CITY HALL - CONFERENCE ROOM
Bob, William, Violet, Da Nerd, Toph, Simon and Adam sit around a table.
DA NERD (V.O.)
Every Monday, we get into the
conference room and talk about
various issues and other things
we can do for the city.
BOB
(holding a banana)
What if... we put them on wheels?
INT. CITY HALL - ADAM’S ROOM
Adam and Simon are crouched on chairs holding flute-shaped game controllers, and the screen they’re staring at flashes and reflects on their faces.
DA NERD (V.O.)
The other days of the week, we’re
supposed to be doing work, but we
mostly just mess around.
Adam and Simon are playing Flute Warriors 2 in cooperative mode, and they get into an argument about how the other is sucking and making them lose.
Violet interrupts this argument by walking in.
VIOLET
Guys! We’re supposed to be
filling out tax reports!
EXT. DOWNTOWN SEPTEM CITY - STREETS - LATE AT NIGHT
Pan down to reveal Bob, William, Violet, Da Nerd, Toph, Simon and Adam, dressed in all black, chasing after something.
DA NERD (V.O.)
But all in all, we just like to
have fun. Because all we are
are a bunch of goofballs.
SUPERIMPOSE OVER TIME:
Exhilaration Animation presents
In association with SBFW
CAST CREDITS
The seven turn a corner.
WILLIAM
This way!
TOPH
William, we’re never gonna catch
him at this rate.
BOB
(devotedly)
We can never give up, Toph.
VIOLET
We could at least get in the car
to speed us up.
WILLIAM
Oh, yeah. Good thinking, Violet.
The seven hop in the minivan, conveniently parked where they are currently standing. Violet, driving, speeds off.
The SAUCE-ABUSER, bottle in hand, eyes a minivan coming straight towards his direction. He runs into an alley.
The seven stop outside the alley and get out of the minivan. They then proceed to dramatically walk into the alley and face off the sauce-abuser.
However, the sauce-abuser has something else in mind. He takes his sauce bottle and aims it at the seven, threateningly, and chuckles.
DA NERD
Don’t you dare.
The sauce-abuser threateningly slowly squeezes the bottle. The seven’s faces turn to worry and increasingly show this as the bottle gets more compressed. 
However, only a tiny bit of sauce squirts out and falls flat on the ground below. The bottle is empty.
BOB
Ha! Foiled again, sauce man.
SAUCE-ABUSER
I think not, Bob!
The sauce-abuser pulls out a fresh bottle. The seven react immediately in shock. However, the sauce-abuser struggles to get the bottle open.
SAUCE-ABUSER
(strangling)
Just... just a sec.
Stupid thing.
The cap finally pops off.
SAUCE-ABUSER
There we go. Now... 
The sauce-abuser squirts the bottle at the seven. Da Nerd stands and takes one for the team, as he gets annihilated with sauce. He then realizes the other six have climbed up ropes hanging down from the roof of the building making one wall of the alley.
DA NERD
Oh. Did not even see that there.
Da Nerd pulls out a napkin and wipes his face, then climbs up a rope. 
The seven proceed to take out bows and sevens, and shoot the sevens like arrows at the sauce-abuser. These sevens are made of solid steel, which hurts the sauce-abuser badly.
However, the sauce-abuser takes out more condiments and aims.
BOB
Oh no...
SAUCE-ABUSER
Hope you can ketchup with me!
The sauce-abuser squirts a bottle of ketchup in each hand at the seven.
SAUCE-ABUSER
I’m gonna relish this moment!
Toph groans, and the sauce-abuser squirts a bottle of relish at the seven.
VIOLET
Your wordplay may be clever, but
your attacks are subpar. Nerd! 
Arm the Bobs.
BOB
What?
An army of ROBOTS come crashing through windows of the building the seven are standing on. They all run towards the sauce-abuser, spurting flames and ready to attack.
The sauce-abuser is surrounded by Bobs and has no chance to escape. This seems to be the end of this evildoer, when suddenly, the Bobs malfunction and break down.
DA NERD
Forgot to replace the batteries.
Whoops. (chuckles nervously)
SIMON
Well now what do we do?
WILLIAM
I never thought I’d say this, Simon,
but... we’re gonna have to fight
condiments with condiments.
Bob! Toph! Fire at will.
Bob begins firing horseradish and hot sauce.
TOPH
Who’s Will?
BOB
Toph. (gestures to bottles)
TOPH
Oh!
Toph picks up a bottle of ranch and fires.
The sauce-abuser repels the attacks with a metallic 8 shield. 
VIOLET
It’s no use! He’s repelling the
attacks!
DA NERD
What do we do now?
WILLIAM
We’re gonna have to use... 
(dramatically)
physical confrontation.
OTHERS
Nooo!
SIMON
Anything but that!
BOB
William, there’s gotta be
another way.
WILLIAM
I’m afraid there isn’t, Bob.
Come on, gang, let’s move.
The seven drop down from the roof and six of them land perfectly; Toph falls flat on his face.
TOPH
Ow.
Toph gets back up, and the seven surround the sauce-abuser with dramatic looks. Violet slams her fist in her hand, threateningly.
VIOLET
Now, sauce abuser, we can do
this the easy way, or we can
do it the--
The sauce-abuser throws a punch, Violet ducks and kicks him. He falls down. Bob puts him in cuffs. The seven cheer in celebration.
INT. CITY HALL - CONFERENCE ROOM
ADAM
Da Nerd! Wake up!
Da Nerd, who had been sleeping after a restless night of programming, awakes from his slumber in the City Hall conference room in the middle of a meeting, with Adam at the front, presenting.
DA NERD
Huh? Oh. Sorry, Adam. I was up...
really late last night.
ADAM
(to all)
Now, as I was saying... 
Adam continues babbling on about the grape soda issue in the city, but Simon eyes the timer counting down on his tablet. It reads 0:03... then 0:02... then 0:01... ding!
SIMON
(cutting off Adam)
Okay, my turn! Time’s up!
Simon pushes Adam away and immediately starts presenting.
ADAM
Rude.
SIMON
Okay, so... 
VIOLET
Actually, Simon, we’re running low
on time, so can we skip yours today?
SIMON
What? But why? 
VIOLET
Because your issues are always about
someone saying “shut up” on the
playground, okay? My turn.
SIMON
(under breath)
Not like Adam just talked an hour
about grape soda.
Simon poutingly steps down and sulks in his chair. Violet gets up to present.
VIOLET
Alright, bitches, we need to do
something about the eights. People who
have the pure intention of damaging
the city from the moment they enter.
Any suggestions? No idea is wrong.
TOPH
What if we...
VIOLET
No, that’s wrong. Da Nerd?
DA NERD
What if we sent wristbands in the
mail and used that for verification?
Only citizens that are trusted and
have been here for a while get one.
ADAM
Really? This is a city, not a
theme park.
BOB
No, I think Nerd might be onto
something here. 
VIOLET
Yeah.
DA NERD
I mean, I could easily program a
database server and keep track of
which citizens are trusted and
which aren’t, and we could alter
the status of the barcode on the
wristband to correspond. 
TOPH
Great idea, Nerd!
SIMON
Yeah, Nerd!
WILLIAM
That’s the most progress we’ve
made since 2010!
VIOLET
Alright! Have it ready by Friday,
and it’s official.
DA NERD
Woo!
The seven cheer and high-five each other in celebration.
TOPH
Alright, let’s hit the ice
cream parlor!
The others fall in silence.
TOPH
What? I like ice cream.
SCENE 2
INT. IRmjii’s ICE CREAM PARLOR - BOOTH
Bob, Violet and William sit at one end of the booth, while Adam, Simon, Da Nerd and Toph squeeze in the other. Toph licks an ice cream, while the others sit boredly.
Bob eyes WESTON at the counter ordering.
BOB
Hey, there’s Weston. We should
go congratulate him on his
promotion.
WILLIAM
Yeah.
The seven get out of the booth and walk up to Weston, who is still ordering.
WESTON
And how about a... strawberry
sundae and... a banana split.
IRmjii
Alright. Will that be it?
WESTON
Yes, thank you.
IRmjii
Alright, your total comes out to
$118.73. 
Weston hands a few bills in cash to IRmjii.
IRmjii
Would you like a receipt?
The seven come up to Weston just as he’s about to respond.
VIOLET
Hey, Weston!
BOB
Hey! Congratulations!
WILLIAM
Congrats!
DA NERD
Congratulations on the promotion!
ADAM
Congrats, Weston!
TOPH
Congratulations!
SIMON
Heeyyy! Congrats!
However, Weston gives them the cold shoulder.
WESTON
(lacking spirit)
Oh. Hey, guys.
BOB
Heyy... so, what you buying?
WESTON
Just some stuff.
The receipt prints, reading the ludicrous total. Violet snatches it.
VIOLET
Whoa! 118 bucks? Weston,
what is all this?
DA NERD
Letting yourself go?
WESTON
It’s for my party.
WILLIAM
Party? What party?
SIMON
I never got an invitation.
WESTON
That’s ’cause you guys aren’t
invited.
ADAM
(offended)
Whaat!?
VIOLET
Why not?
BOB
But we’re City Hall! We get
invited to every party!
WESTON
Yeah, well... not this one.
DA NERD
Why not?
WESTON
November 27th, last year.
WILLIAM
Hmm... that date sounds familiar.
Oh! That’s the day we all got
wasted and stole a minivan.
Ohh... good times... 
WESTON
Yeah, that’s what you were doing
instead of coming to my birthday.
BOB
(beat) Oh.
ADAM
Oh yeah.
SIMON
That... that was a thing.
VIOLET
Okay, well, we’re really sorry
about that, Weston, but... 
WESTON
Save it. You’re not invited to
my party.
DA NERD
But... but...
IRmjii
(handing Weston large bag)
Here you go, sir. Everything’s in
there.
WESTON
Thank you.
Weston walks out without looking once at the seven.
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