Don't Deal with Jack-O'-Man

DON'T DEAL WITH JACK-O'-MAN - #28
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All the skeletons and ghouls in the neighborhood pointed and laughed at me as I rode down the street with my feathers exposed. "Happy Cluck-o'-ween!" I said as I felt the chilly breeze. This is what happens when you make stupid bets: you'll be recent a high school graduate biking down the street wearing a chicken costume. I swerved from the sidewalk when I saw an overweight kid dressed as Peter Griffin. He was ready to hit me.
Several blocks later I ended up at the crack-den side of down. Bad memories played in my head as my bike rolled over the golden leaves next to rusted cars. The crack-house came into view, which chilled me more than the October wind. I picked up the pace and entered a dark alleyway away from the house. I slowed down, as homeless people occasionally walk down this alley. Just when I thought it appeared clear, a vampire leap from the shadows. I lost control of the bike and crashed into a bunch of crates and cardboard boxes, my knee scraping the asphalt.
Two vampires hopped on me, ripping my chicken suit to shreds. "Get off me!" The vampires suddenly stopped. "Guy? Is that you?" Ricky the vampire spoke. I clutched my knee and held it close to my chest. "I don't sling crack anymore, I told you guys!" But the vampires chuckled. "Do you still sling cash though?" Ronald said, digging his cold hands into my pockets. "$20 and the latest Pineapple phone. It'll do!" Ricky and Ronald laughed, their yellow cracked teeth visible even in the dark. I stood to finish them off, but they had already scurried away like rats. 
I ripped the rest of my chicken costume off and shoved it in the dumpster. I pulled out the only thing they didn't take: my orange pocket knife. If only I could kill those bastards. As I tried limping away knife in hand, an arm from underneath the dumpster grabbed my scraped leg. I shrieked and tumbled on my back, pressing up against the grimy brick wall. Out from under the dumpster crawled a slimy creature that reeked of garbage juice and and expired milk. "I don't advise dealing with the devil, but you might need it!" the homeless man said, handing me an orange card before wandering off in the darkness. 
I wiped the dirt off my palm held the card in the direction of a street lamp to the left. "Better Call Jack-O'-Man! Hurry until 10/31!" I flipped to the back and it said this Jack-O'-Man character will take care of "problematic people" in exchange for Halloween candy. I would call, but y'know. I instead followed the directions on the back, "Client meetings located at the sewer pipe at the junkyard." Simple enough. Even if this is a scam, they'll have nothing to take. Except my dignity. I rolled my beaten bike out from the boxes and headed my way to the nearby junkyard.
I pushed away cobwebs as I entered the junkyard sewer entrance. Me and my friends used to hang out in here during childhood, but its since been boarded up. Except tonight, oddly. The glow of orange candles grew brighter as I crept close to the back. The nostalgic scent of sugary sweets filled my nostrils. Piles upon piles of Halloween candy littered the wet sewer ground, with the occasional cockroach scurrying by. "You better have sweets. Lots of them," a raspy voice uttered. From the corner a tall man with a large jack-o'-lantern as his head munched on some taffy. "Hi, yes I'm willing to give you them if you can take care of..." I stopped when noticing his pumpkin-textured hands. It looked too good for a Halloween costume. "Take care of whom?" "Those rats infesting the crack house near the cul de sac. You know the one. They stole my wallet and phone," I continued. Jack-O'-Man stood up, his muscles defined and torn cape laying low. "Very well."
"Trick-or-treat!" Moments later, Ronald opens the door. "There's no candy this house, ki... kid?" Jack-O'-Man wasted no time, punching Ronald straight from in the chest and ripping out part of his rib cage. Ronald bled from his mouth eyes-widened, collapsing to floor. "A Halloween party where I'm not invited? Not on my watch!" Jack-O'-Man yelled. He leap across the living room and grabbed Ricky by the throat, slamming his head against the wall multiple times. "No tricks here, only treats!" Jack-O'-Man said before slashing Ricky's stomach open and shoving a hand full of pumpkin seeds in his gut. The seeds immediately grew into large pumpkin vines. Ricky screamed with a blood-soaked mouth, still living. But not for long. Jack-O'-Man tugged on the vines with great force, ripping Ricky's intestines out. He wrapped them around Ricky's throat tightly. Jack pressed his foot on Ricky's stomach and pulled hard, snapping Ricky's head off his body and causing blood to squirt everywhere. 
"Fatality!" Jack-O'-Man joked. I rushed past him and snatched my stolen, now blood-covered things off the coffee table. "Bloody freakin' awesome!" I said as Jack took some of the Halloween candy scattered on the ground. "We should do this more often," I continued. "I'm afraid All Hallows Eve is my last active day until hibernation. You have 2 hours to give me the bags of sweets you promised!" "How many exactly?" "I didn't get much clients this year. So a ton. Now get to it, or else you'll end up like Ricky and Ronald!" Jack said before existing.
I ran back to the alleyway for my destroyed chicken costume, putting it back on in a hurry. I even smeared some of Ricky's blood on my face to make it look like makeup. I stepped up to the door next to the crack house and knocked. A middle aged-woman answered. "Trick or treat!" "The neighbors were so noisy it sounded like someone was getting murdered! Say, aren't you too old be trick-or-treating?" "I'm emotionally stunted, now give me a ton of candy please! My father will beat me if I don't bring him sacks full of candy." "Oh, that's terrible! Here, I'll dial 911." "N-n-no! Just, augh!" I ran off the stoop and peddled away on my bike to another block.
"Trick or treat..." "What are you supposed to be?" an old guy at the door asked. "An ugly duckling who needs lots and lots of candy because he's very ugly." Door slammed in my face. I punched the door and pounded on the next one. And the next one, and the next one after that. I was either rejected or nobody answered at all. I hopped across a fence when I saw blue and red lights flashing down the street. Shoot, almost midnight. There's one more house I know of. It's decked out like a haunted mansion and they also give the most candy. Even if they reject me, I'll get it anyhow.
I pounded on the haunted mansion door then wiped my runny nose, teeth clinched. The door swung open. "Sorry, no more ca--" I tackled Mrs. Blankenship to the floor and proceed to strangle her. "Candy. All of it!" I demanded as she gasped for air. I peered up and saw bags of unopened candy on the kitchen table. I hustled over to them, grabbing as many as I could. But I stopped once I realized there was no way I could carry these while riding my bike. I whipped out my phone and dialed Jack's number. "Come get your fuckin' candy." I hung up and went to attend Mrs. Blankenship, who had her phone out whilst laying on the ground choking for air. I raised my boot up and stopped on her neck over and over until her wheezing stopped. I reached for her phone saw she had called... the police. My phone then rang. "No. Bring them to me." My heart sank once I realized it was 15 minutes until midnight. I grabbed the candy bags and dashed out the door, skipping my bike entirely.
"There's your candy! And it cost you a sweet old lady." I said while throwing the bags to the wet sewer ground. "Now spare me from turning me into pumpkin guts please," I continued. Jack-O'-Man picked up a bag and laughed. "You think this is enough? Fool!" "Wh-what... Don't do this to me!" "You did this to yourself, Guy. You have to choice but to accompany me during hibernation now! Shhh, the spirits are leaving as midnight inches closer..." "Th-that's not spirits," I said as police flashing lights entered the sewer. I stood, stiff as a statue. Jack-O'-Man lunged his manly hands tightly around my neck. Before he could rip it off, officers barged in and began unloading rounds of bullets into us as the clocks struck midnight. As if it were all in slow motion, Jack-O'-Man fell back and landed on the dozens of candles, catching on fire.
I laid on the ground staring up at the officers. I recognized one of them was Mrs. Blankenship's husband. It hit me that I just murdered an old lady for bags of Halloween candy for a supervillain to spare my life after I had him slaughter some crackheads. "Sorry for what I did to your wife," I said before slashing my throat with my orange switch knife. 
Halloween ends. The spirits leave the Earth and so do I.
Happy Halloween.
Category:Halloween
Category:Bets/Deals
Category:Blood/Gore