Goofballs/February 15, 2015

==Screenplay==
SCENE 1
FADE IN:
Hey this is Scene 1. We’re not writing that right now. Come back to this later. Okay? Alright.
SCENE 2
EXT. SEPTEM CITY - PRESENT DAY - CITY OFFICE BUILDING - WINTER
Snow is falling onto the ground. Off to the side, two children have a snowball fight. Cars pass by at a normal speed.
ZOOM IN:
INT: CITY OFFICE BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM
The seven leaders all sit around a conference table, except for Adam, who presents about the “grape soda issue”. The other six are suffering from varying degrees of boredom due to the length of Adam’s presentation.
ADAM
... Though some may argue that
grape soda is a useful addition
to the City Hall vending machine,
it has been known to leave stains
in the carpeting that are nearly 
impossible to remove, thus making 
our custodians work twice as hard.
If spilling grape soda onto the
carpets becomes common, the City
will have to raise the pay of the
custodians in order to compensate
for the extra work required. Some
may think that that would be a
good thing, but City Hall pays its
employees via tax money. If the
custodians’ pay was to be risen,
that means the citizens would have
to pay more taxes. As so, I think--
SIMON
Sorry to interrupt, but... can you
move this along a bit? It’s nearly
been an hour since you’ve started, 
and no one else has gotten a turn.
ADAM
Patience, Simon. Patience. Anyway,
as I was saying...
VIOLET
No, no, Simon’s right. No offense,
but... your presentation just isn’t
too important to us. Why don’t we try
a topic a bit more relevant to the
City as a whole.
ADAM
But...
VIOLET
Okay, I didn’t want to be blunt with
you, but... no one cares about grape
soda.
ADAM
But we haven’t even voted on allowance
of grape soda in the lobby vending
machine--
VIOLET
Adam, please sit down.
ADAM
(moaning)
Okay...
Adam sits down in his chair and Violet stands up to start her presentation.
VIOLET
So... now onto a more important topic --
well, one that isn’t about grape soda... 
ADAM
(defensively)
Hey!
VIOLET
C’mon, you know everyone was bored out
of their minds during your presentation.
Simon, Toph, Da Nerd, Bob and William all murmur agreement.
ADAM
(defeated)
Okay, fine!
Adam huffs back in his seat and crosses his arms angrily.
VIOLET
So anyway, lately I’ve been trying to 
think of ways to filter out the Eights 
from this City. It was built with the 
intention of worshipping seven, and we 
don’t need to risk another conflict, 
especially since the Eights have proven 
on many occasions that they only want 
to do harm to our City. However, I 
haven’t been able to think of any ways 
to do so that I’m satisfied with to rid 
of the Eights. If any of you guys have 
an idea, tell me, and we can vote on it.
The other six start thinking of ideas. Quickly, Simon raises his hand to suggest an idea.
VIOLET
Yes, Simon?
SIMON
What if we sent all of the Eights to another
city? Maybe Octo City?
VIOLET
Oh, come on, Simon! Everyone knows Octo
City has been gone for years. They destroyed
it because the population dropped too low.
Even the town officials left the city.
SIMON
No, it’s still there!
VIOLET
Whatever you say. Anyway, let’s just vote
on it. Who says yea?
William and Toph raise their hands to vote yes.
VIOLET
And nay?
Da Nerd, Bob and Adam raise their hands to vote no.
VIOLET 
Group majority rules no. Anyone
else have an idea?
Da Nerd raises his hand.
VIOLET
Yes, Da Nerd?
DA NERD
It’s just an idea, but... what if
we filtered out Eights by using a
wristband system?
VIOLET
(curiously)
Go on.
DA NERD
We could distribute wristbands to
each and every one of the citizens.
They would each contain a barcode
that would allow us to check their
boolean status to see if they are a 
Seven or an Eight. If I programmed a
database to read the boolean status
and show that in a readable function,
we could then manually filter out any
eights from there and thus make our
city Seven-only.
Da Nerd pauses briefly before starting again.
DA NERD
The boolean status would be one of
two numbers; zero or one.
Zero, meaning that the person is an 
Eight, of course meaning they are banned 
and subject to expulsion from the City, 
or One, meaning that the person is a
Seven; basically, not banned. 
The status of any citizen can be 
changed in the database at any time,
but only by us, obviously. I think 
that’s about it. Violet... 
VIOLET
Well, I guess now we should vote for
if your idea will pass. Yeas?
William, Toph, Simon and Bob’s hands all go up. Only Adam is left with his hand unraised.
VIOLET
Adam, we weren’t gonna vote for your
grape soda idea anyway, you know. So
stop being so bitter.
ADAM
Ugh, fine!
Adam raises his hand.
VIOLET
Well, I’d say that’s definitely
majority. Thank you, Da Nerd, for
your suggestion. We will send out
wristbands to all citizens
tomorrow. 
EXT: WESTON’S HOUSE - MIDDAY
Weston comes outside to check his mailbox and notices a wristband attached to a note addressed from City Hall. A post office van drives by, delivering another wristband and note to the house next door. Weston reads the note.
VIOLET (V.O.)
(reading note)
To whom it may concern,
The City has decided upon a new way to improve security for our city. As so, we have sent out wristbands to all of the citizens. Please report to the City Hall lobby with your wristband on and ready to be scanned within 48 hours of this message being sent. Failure to do so may result in penalties. If you cannot be at City Hall within 48 hours’ time, please notify us ahead of time.
Sincerely,
City Hall
Weston slips on his wristband and heads inside to give the second one to Welby.
EXT: CITY HALL LOBBY - AFTERNOON
Many citizens of Septem City are in a line waiting to have their wristband scanned. Travis turns his wristband to show the barcode. The scanner shines a green light. Travis, relieved, heads towards the exit. The next person in line, a lady in her mid-20s, has their wristband scanned, only to shine a red light. The supervisor tells her that she has only 24 hours to grab her items and exit the city. He stamps her wristband red, to show that she has been scanned as an Eight. The next person in line steps up as the screen fades out.
 
SCENE 3
EXT. GLENN STREET - MIDDAY
GLENN dumps the full bucket of water at the top of the well into the well, then walks towards his home, the biggest of his community, implying that he is the leader of the community.
He sees a box sitting at his doorstep, and in realization, picks it up and stands on top of a stand in the center of the community area to alert the others about some breaking news.
GLENN
(announcing)
Guys, listen up!
The rest of the community come out of their small houses and form a crowd around Glenn. Many shush others for them to listen to Glenn:
Shh, Glenn’s talking!
It’s Glenn!
Shh, listen to Glenn!
GLENN
I, Glenn, have discovered that
Septem City is pushing out this new
verification system using wristbands,
and I wanted to make sure everyone
gets theirs. So I’ve taken the liberty
of getting all these wristbands... 
Glenn pulls out a box of wristbands.
GLENN (CONT’D)
...directly from the Post Office and
making sure they got to each and every
one of you.
The crowd cheers and applauds in Glenn’s goodwill. 
Glenn jumps down from the stand and rips open the package. He then proceeds to place a wristband into each person’s mailbox. Once he’s done with his work, he takes the box into his own home and sighs in pleasant exhaustion after a long day of good deeds.
INT. GLENN’S HOUSE
GLENN
All in a day’s work of making my
community happy with my good deeds.
It’s worth it to know that I’m doing
all of it in the name...
(strikes an evil smile)
...of eight. 
Glenn evilly pulls down a lever next to his door, which turns the room into a modernized official hideout location for CityControl Inc. Information Catchers (their name for “spies”).
3 other CCI SPIES walk into the living room out of hiding. Holographically, Glenn pulls up a video call with the HEAD OF CCI.
INT. CITYCONTROL INC. HEADQUARTERS - CONFERENCE ROOM
CCI staff have a meeting in the conference room of CCI HQ. ERIC stands at the head of the table next to a board showing their projected income. 
The Head of CCI’s Tablet8 rings in receivance of a video call. He taps Accept and stares into the tablet, to the annoyance of the other staff, who have to pause their meeting.
HEAD OF CCI
Head of CityControl Incorporated.
GLENN (O.S.)
Yeah, Glenn here. 
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
GLENN (CONT’D)
Phase one is completed. I’ve
distributed the wristbands to the
three other spies.
CCI SPY #2
Hi.
CCI SPY #3
Hi.
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI
They’re not spies! I told you to
call them Information Catchers!
GLENN (O.S.)
Sorry, sir.
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
GLENN (CONT’D)
Anyway, the wristbands are now
in possession of the (mockingly)
“Information Catchers” (normal
voice), so what’s my next evasive
course of action?
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI
What?
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
GLENN
It’s... it’s spy lingo or something.
I don’t know. What do I do next?
HEAD OF CCI (O.S.)
Phase two... 
GLENN
What... what’s phase two?
HEAD OF CCI (O.S.)
I sent you a text like two hours
ago, come on, Glenn.
Glenn takes out his phone.
CCI SPY #1
(to Glenn, under breath)
Just go to the messenger app and...
GLENN
Yeah, I know.
Glenn checks his texts. After a brief moment, he then puts his phone back in his pocket.
GLENN
Ah, I see... 
INT. CCI HQ
GLENN (O.S)
Um, sir, if you don’t mind me
asking... 
HEAD OF CCI
Yes?
GLENN (O.S.)
Why are we doing all of this anyway?
HEAD OF CCI
(under breath)
Oy vey.
(normal voice)
We’re a company that controls almost
every city across the U.A. The one
city that you’re in charge of
catching information from--
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
GLENN
You mean spying on.
HEAD OF CCI (O.S.)
Yes, whatever!
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI
We’ve been watching it for many years,
since when it founded, when our beloved
CEO abandoned it because of its tyranny.
That’s what we’re looking out for, if
they’re still exhibiting their unfaIr
rulings and tyrannous ways.
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
GLENN
Is that even a word?
HEAD OF CCI
Yeah.
CCI SPY #1
I don’t think it is.
CCI SPY #2
Me either.
HEAD OF CCI
Quiet!
CCI SPY #3
(under breath)
Bitchy.
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI
So, our goal is to take over the
last city in the nation, Septem City,
and free their innocent citizens
from the unfair treatment caused by
these guys.
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
The Head of CCI pulls up a picture of the seven leaders of Septem City on Glenn’s holographic display.
HEAD OF CCI (CONT’D, O.S.)
From left to right, Bob, William,
Violet, Da Nerd, Toph, Simon and Adam.
GLENN
What? But they’re like teenagers.
CCI SPY #1
Yeah.
CCI SPY #2
Yeah, Simon doesn’t even look like
he’s 13 yet.
HEAD OF CCI (O.S.)
That’s the point.
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI (CONT’D)
Look, these guys don’t know how to
run a city. That’s why they’re enforcing
all these unfair rules and sending their
citizens into fear. That’s where we
come in. And that’s why we’re doing
this, Glenn and co.
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
CCI SPY #3
“And co”?
GLENN
(to spy)
Yeah, and I can’t say “evasive action”.
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI
Now, before you initiate phase two, I
need you to send the rest of those
wristbands back to Headquarters.
GLENN (O.S.)
Why?
HEAD OF CCI
What, you’ve got like 20 left, right?
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
Glenn proceeds to count the rest of the wristbands in the box.
GLENN
21, actually.
CCI SPY #3
(stifled laughter)
(in that accent) Twanty-one.
CCI Spy #2 and #3 giggle under their breaths.
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI
We need those for other, er, Information
Catchers to start leaking into the city
so they can pass this new verification -
the more Catchers, the better.
GLENN (O.S.)
Not to intrude, sir... 
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
GLENN (CONT’D)
...but won’t they know something’s up
if a bunch more people suddenly just
come into the city?
INT. CCI HQ
HEAD OF CCI
That’s why we’re attacking as soon
as possible so there’s no chance for
them to notice anything. We initiate
phase two in one week. Head out.
The Head of CCI hangs up the call.
INT. GLENN’S HIDEOUT
CCI SPY #2
Did he just say “head out”?
CCI Spy #2 starts to walk off, but CCI Spy #1 stops him.
CCI SPY #1
No, no, don’t actually... he didn’t... 
GLENN
(throws box into hands)
So, I’m gonna go ship this out, and
then I guess we got a bit of downtime.
What should we do?
Brief silence.
ALL
Flute Warriors!
CUT TO:
CCI Spy #1 hovers over a flute-shaped controller playing Flute Warriors, shown on the holographic display.
Cut to show the game. CCI Spy #1 is in multiplayer face-off against an online player.
SCENE 4
INT. CITY HALL - SIMON’S ROOM
Adam and Simon stand in Simon’s room, watching Da Nerd hovered over a flute-shaped controller playing Flute Warriors against an online player on Simon’s 25” standard TV.
DA NERD
Ah, this guy sucks. Look, he didn’t
even FC that part.
ADAM
Yeah, well, it’d be easier to see
if Simon had a better TV.
SIMON
Well, sorry that I spend my wages
on something other than grape soda
research.
ADAM
Do you really wanna get back into
this again?
DA NERD
Guys, guys, could you stop arguing
for one minute? I’m trying to
concentrate.
Da Nerd misses a note in a Star Combo, to which he immediately reacts with frustration.
DA NERD
Gah! See, you made me miss. I’m
gonna lose now. Thanks.
SIMON
(naively sincere)
You’re welcome.
INT. CITY HALL - LOBBY
Bob and William set a table in the lobby for 3 diners. Violet grabs something out of the mini-fridge by the lobby desk.
BOB
So, Violet, what’s for supper?
Violet pulls an entire raw chicken out of the fridge.
VIOLET
Chicken.
Violet then proceeds to drop the chicken right in the middle of the table.
VIOLET
Eat up.
WILLIAM
Wh... but... aren’t you gonna cook it?
VIOLET
Nah. The microwave’s broken and I
got a date.
Bob picks up the chicken and walks over to the trash.
WILLIAM
Ooh, who is it this week?
Bob drops the chicken into the trash.
BOB
William. Play nice.
VIOLET
His name’s Ghastly. 
WILLIAM
Wait, as in Ghastly’s Auto Shop?
VIOLET
Yeah. He’s sweet and kind and... 
his accent’s sexy as hell.
After a brief silence, both Bob and William burst out in laughter.
VIOLET
Shut up!
Bob and William continue laughing uncontrollably as Violet walks out the door.
BOB
(resides laughter)
Oh, we should probably go wake
Toph up.
WILLIAM
Yeah. He’s been asleep all day.
INT. TOPH’S DREAM - TRIPPY
Trippy trap music plays in the background as Toph has a hallucinogenic dream. Mostly trails of hypnotic swirls in LED colors, with Toph’s dazed empty face staring at all of it.
Suddenly, a white mist moves in and starts encompassing the room.
BOB
(off-screen, echoing)
Toph. Wake up.
The white mist takes over the entire room and swirls into an abyss. Toph wakes up.
INT. CITY HALL - TOPH’S ROOM
BOB
Toph.
TOPH
Huh?
BOB
You’ve been asleep all day.
What’s wrong?
TOPH
I don’t know. I... I feel... 
my stomach hurts and my throat’s
(raspy) swelled up, and (normal)
oh, I’m gonna throw up.
Bob grabs the trash can from the side of the door and moves it over to the side of Toph’s bed.
BOB
There.
TOPH
(weakly)
Thank you.
BOB
You gonna be okay?
TOPH
Yeah, I think so.
BOB
Alright. Just yell if you need anyth--
er, um... call... er, text.
TOPH
Okay.
BOB
(walking out)
Alright, get better.
TOPH
I don’t... have much control over that.
As Bob walks out, he pops his head into Simon’s room, from which loud flute music is blaring.
INT. CITY HALL - SIMON’S ROOM
BOB
Hey, can you guys turn it down
a bit? Toph’s sick.
SIMON & ADAM
Shh!
SIMON
Nerd’s wrecking this douche on
Flute Warriors. 
ADAM
Yeah.
BOB
Well, just keep it down, okay?
Bob walks off. Da Nerd finishes the song, and an in-game crowd cheers. Da Nerd decides to turn the volume down, and text reading “DN 7061 WINS!” displays on-screen, followed by the results screen.
SIMON
Nice work, Nerd.
ADAM
Wait, let’s see what this guy’s
playertag is.
The results screen shows the opponent’s playertag: Glenn0233.
DA NERD
Wait a minute.
(face strikes of realization)
I think I know that guy.
ADAM & SIMON
What?
DA NERD
Yeah, we were old college roommates.
He would always come home with a
medium LITECola and play Legend of
the... Eight. 
(face turns to shock)
Brief silence.
ADAM
Nerd, you’re a freshman in high school.
SIMON
Yeah, and LITECola wasn’t even invented
until a year ago.
DA NERD
(awkwardly, in realization that he
is a dumbass)
Shut up.
ADAM
But... I think I do recognize that name
from somewhere.
SIMON
Where?
ADAM
I had a dream once. And... and there was
this guy... and he said... something and
did... a thing. 
DA NERD
Th... that’s pretty descriptive, Adam.
SIMON
(under breath)
Martin Luther King had a dream.
DA NERD
Okay, so let’s start another match!
Da Nerd presses a button on the flute controller.
INT. CITY HALL - LOBBY
Bob walks back downstairs. 
Hey, write this later.
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