Jebediah "Beef" von Wunder

Jebediah "Beef" von Wunder is a character role-played by wakewilder.
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==Background==
Back at Beanstalk 1999, Beef (as he insists his friends call him) was abandoned as a 3-year-old at a Wet Bizkit concert. (This would put his age as of January 2024 at about 28) He crawled north of Utica and was taken in by the Amish, who named him Jebediah. He became friends with some of the rebel kids who gave him the nickname Jebby. They eventually developed into a German industrial raver group called the Traboudors of Truth and took him away from the Amish forever for Rummspring. They quickly replaced Jebby with the nickname Beef, which he is pretty sure he got because he developed chest hair at age 8. The Amish pumped their cows full of hormones, which you wouldn't expect from them, but there you go.
Being raised by the Amish has led to a life relatively free of electronics. While he does not swear off electronics completely (he always has his iPod and headphones on him) one thing Beef staunchly refuses to use is a smart phone. He will use a payphone to contact people on occasion, keeping track of everyone's numbers on a notepad, but often he would much rather wander the city until he finds who he is looking for (or someone else who is willing to listen). To any normal person, his notepad would be indecipherable; people's names are spelled with a symbol that reminds Beef of the person, and their numbers are arrows pointing to where the numbers lay on a number pad (0's are especially hard).
==Finding His Purpose==
Known for his taglines "Peace and Love" and "Help the needy, not the greedy" Beef practices what he preaches by handing out food and drinks to the down on their luck. Most people find this ironic, as they consider him to be homeless, but Beef always corrects them; how could he be homeless when he is always has his home on his back(pack)? He typically volunteers his time at the pawn shop outside the Vanilla Unicorn strip club or near the subway at Senior Burger, though Beef is a wanderer at heart and rarely stays in one place for too long.
Beef did not first arrive in Los Santos with the intention of running a wandering soup kitchen. After walking through Sandy all the way to the city, he had no direction aside from making meaningful connections with people. He eventually got a job as the only male stripper, known for his signature look of leopard-print panties, giant camper's backpack, and not much else. Discontent to spend his life working for "the man" Beef continued to make friends, including one James Randal. This would change the course of his entire life.
One day, Beef was wandering the streets when he saw his friend James Randal with some police officers. While not a violent man, Beef decided to intervene to stop the cops from exploring James' orifices by punching one of the cops in the face twice. While he succeeded in preventing James from going to jail, Beef landed himself a 20-month prison sentence. What was unexpected was the lack of guards keeping an eye on the prisoners. This led to an idea: smuggling food out of the jail to feed the hungry. So on the last day of his sentence, Beef managed to grab a massive amount of food and drink and toss it over the prison walls between guard patrols. After being released, all he had to do was jog along the wall to recover his goods. A lesser man would have seen dollar signs, but all Beef saw was a way to help the people around him, be they friend, stranger, or even foe.
In January 2024, he announced his run for Mayor of Los Santos, facing off against Maximilian Thoroughbred, Party Hardy, Vivek Ramasquamy, Pilbis Toretti, Donnie McMuffin, Stelio Lambros, Bobby Charles, Michael Simone, Eugene Zuckerberg, Ronald Rump, Max Dumont, Doug Loftis, and Cletus Cornwood. He did not apply to be on the ballot, hence the race ended early for him.
==Close Friends==
While Beef considers almost everyone to be his friend, a few outstanding individuals can be considered among his closest.
*James Randal would be considered Beef's first truly close friend, and a gem among the ruffians at Senior Burgers. He gave Jebby permission to do cold exposure in the kitchen freezer and even offered him a job (though he refused due to the mafia-like atmosphere). So loyal is Beef that he even punched a cop twice when he overheard the pig telling James that he was going to "explore his orifices'." This led to a 20-month stint in jail for Beef, though this saved James from the same fate, which cemented their friendship after Jedediah was released.
* Rohan Cockle first met Beef at his usual place outside of Senior Burgers, asking people for a ride around town. Rohan offered his services (mentioning he often taxis people around anyways), and after hearing Jedediah's backstory he became quite interested with the surprisingly giving and even tempered man for someone who had punched a cop. They bonded over their shared disdain of the cops and Rohan has been driving and following Beef around ever since.
*Ginger Ale is probably the person you are most likely to find hanging out with Beef, especially near Senior Burger. She is always willing to hear Beef out and delights in hearing him tell others his very long backstory. While she is often on her phone and can seem superficial at times with her glitzy fashion, she is in fact a very kind and caring person, and is often the first to help volunteer her time when Beef asks to go feed the needy (or some other hair brained adventure)
**Ginger and Rohan are also friends with each other, and the three form a group that travels across Los Santos in order to help people and encounter random adventures in this great universe, myan.
*Finding Windsong was probably the hardest quest Beef has so far embarked on, but boy was it worth it. A true twin flame, they haven't known each other long, but already they both can feel that their futures will be entwined. Anyone you ask will tell you that the two are basically the same person - just different genders.
*Ms. Midnight
==Quotes==
"Hey myaan,..."
Category:4.0
Category:Male
Category:Characters