121502-1-28-2015-zero-to-fifty-tldr

== Content ==
			
Ah, hardware.  I spent most of today after getting home installing a bigger power supply (plan for the future, kids) and a closed-circuit water cooler (Corsair H105).  The latter was the thing that makes me the most nervous; I'm a kind of old computer geek that knew water cooling systems as being a 5 year suspended death sentence for your rig.  Apparently, these days, they're a lot more reliable, but the sound of the pump kicking up scares the living Hell out of me.  Still, we move forward into the future, right guys?
 
Well, sort of.  This is Zero to Fifty, and I'm obviously late.  Well, I'll be permanently late from here until the foreseeable future.  I've got a gig mixing sound for a band, and I have to be at practice every day on Tuesday.  This leaves me no time to TL;DR an hour-and-fifteen-minute stream.  Not that these were much of a TL;DR even in the best of times.  Anyway, the Zero to Fifty TL;DR will now be showing up the day after the stream.  Nexus Reports, if they're as short as last week's, I'll still try to knock out the day of.  Enough of that, time to look back into the past...
 
The stream begins with the title card and an epic score written by.... oh wait, someone just started the stream with some game music.  After some time enjoying the work of Jeff Kurtenacker, the stream starts.  Tony welcomes us to another traumatic episode of Zero to Fifty.  Seriously, he can try to pass it off as drama all he wants, he said "traumatic".  And we shall see that he is a sagelike oracle divining his future in Galeras.  He is sitting next to Queen Dedede, and someone appears to have found Tony his hat again.  Let's get started.
 
-This is the first Zero to Fifty in a while.  Apparently, social media manager Sean Clanton came to work sick and spread his illness to the rest of the staff.  Fitting, since that's kind of how social media works, with largely the same results.
 
-This show will be about housing and path missions.  Tony wants to jump right in, but DD dives into the desk instead.  It sounds more painful than it is.
 
-In case you haven't heard, Enigma killed Avatus 40 last night.  They are the first, and could be the last, guild to kill Avatus with 40 people.  Whatever, I did that solo, like, in July.  DD talks about it like her first surprise birthday party (and that was the nicest of the three options that ran through my head).  Enigma took an apparently inappropriate picture.  It was so inappropriate, I can't even post it here.  Nobody can post it anywhere.  People will get suspended and fired.  It's Dan-Lebatard-flying-a-plane-over-Cleveland bad.
 
-February 3rd (next Tuesday) at 3pm PST (because we all know Californians don't PVP) is the PVP town hall hosted by some DJ named Bass Ill Eel.  It will include a bunch of devs to answer questions as well as a mob of angry PVP players to sacrifice them one by one to their god, Imhotep ask questions.  Also, Timetravel will be posting a summary of changes coming to the PVP scene before the town hall so that the players know what's coming and can ask questions about that instead of the last several months.
 
-Tony says he likes PVP, though he's terrible at it.  I see calls for him to queue up for a PBG live on the stream in his future.  It'll be the most active low-level PVP queue in the game's history.  EVERYONE WINS! :D
 
-Tony lists his agenda for the day, including being overly friendly with the plushie they'll be giving away.  DD couldn't be any less comfortable... she touches that rowsdower...
 
-Tony apparently now has been overflowed with decor.  The community is attempting to defeat him by having the Exile Judges show up asking about why Toe Knee didn't declare these goods as income.  Tony has covered one of his character's eyes with the cybernetic eyepatch, because the character was creeping him out.  Your fault, Tony!  You made her that way!
 
-Tony reiterates how awesome his house is and how awesome housing in Wildstar is.  I agree with the latter, but question the former.  I mean, it looks like he's running a prison from a house built from a tree with a bar in the back.  It's like someone smashed West Virginia into a singularity.  Tony proves this by showing us the still.  Unlike West Virginia, though, there seems to be a lot of modern technology tucked away.  Tony says it's not done and it's still a work in progress.  I'm assuming that he'll complete his plot thematically by opening a Dairy Queen.
 
-Tony starts the Moonshine Cabin housing plot challenge... without his UI.  Then he spends his time falling around and acting in an uncoordinated fashion.  I don't think this is his first encounter with moonshine today.  He tries for the beer sign... and fails.  How does that happen?  I've got a ton of them in our Gbank because we can't get away from them.  Tony has to be the first person in Wildstar history to roll for it and not get it.  That should be an achievement.
 
-Someone asks how much Tony likes housing.  He says he likes it a hundred percent ten.  I wonder if that's like having a million five on the visa card.  .... Jesus.....  Actually, don't click that link.
 
-Sorry, I disengaged Youtube just in time to hear the audio of Tony apparently starring in his first porn.  No.... no, in fact he was trying the Shardspire Canyon challenge.  I do that daily, Tony, if you're going to do explorer path missions, you better step up your game.  Tony is asked what piece of decor he wants most that isn't there, and he says a jacuzzi.  He attempts the challenge again.  DD and all of us are too cruel nice to mention to Tony that if he wants credit for getting to the top, he needs to start the challenge at the bottom.
 
-Tony fundamentally misses how visiting a public plot works or doesn't work.  I heard a visitor/KHT style function was being added with Drop 4.  Anyone else, feel free to confirm or disprove.
 
-Tony is asked how much he likes pigeons.  Apparently, this is what the community wanted to know.  It's what we deserve to know, because we're important.  Tony does like pigeons.  I think we feel like an enlightened gaming populace, knowing this critical information.
 
-Apparently, they're barbequing human beings at Tony's carnival.  So he's not running a Dairy Queen, he's running a Taco Bell.  And hiding a treasure pile in a hidden corner of his plot.  You can hide it, Tony, but the tax man knows you've got it.
 
-Tony, I'm trying REALLY hard not to make racist jokes here, but you've got discarded beer cans on your writing desk, a giant stain-glass window with candles in your tiny house so you can pray, and you're ecstatic that someone's giving you neon lights.  Come on, here....
 
-Tony leaves housing, asking for people to tweet him ideas for what to do with his plot.  His pants start to vibrate.  That's sick, Tony, and we should feel sick for doing it....
 
-Tony gets into combat and immediately starts losing a fight.  He blames his mouse when he dies.  Welcome to Galeras, Tony!
 
-DD starts getting suggestions and writing down housing ideas.  Tony brings up that he will be really pushing for a free camera for housing and bird's eye views for layouts.  See, getting Tony playing the game does help us!  Somewhat... it's still kind of painful to watch him spamming Quick Draw...
 
-Someone asks Tony how he feels about being down to 32 copper after housing.  Tony.... seriously.... you spent all your money on bling and housing and saved none for anything else?  I'm really trying to avoid these jokes!!!
 
-Tony dies again, this time from rolling into another enemy's aggro range during a fight and attracting another gun.  Tony, as a piece of practical advice (and for the benefit of those reading), Spellslinger is a highly mobile class that relies on range and movement to survive.  Plan your fight before you walk into it.  Have an idea of where you're going and where the surrounding enemies are.  You don't have the armor to handle that kind of heat.  Also, Tony, USE YOUR OTHER ABILITIES!  YOU CAN'T JUST OPEN WITH CHARGED SHOT AND HOLD QUICK DRAW UNTIL THEY DIE!  Stun them with Gate, use your Wild Barrage, use your innate, do something!
 
-Tony asks to be messaged in game so he can visit some houses on the stream.  I may invite him to one of my places, but I don't know how I'd feel with him snooping around my plots while I'm at work...
 
-Someone asks if there will be rewards for content creators, Twitch streamers, et al.  Tony says yes, definitely, sometime early this year there will be a rewards program in place for community contributors.  Except for this... I think making fun of Tony's Taco Bell is a good way to not be rewarded.  :(
 
-Tony has a fight where he opens with Charged Shot, uses Quick Draw, suddenly remembers that he has a whole LAS for this kind of thing, Gates though, then Wild Barrages the enemies down.  He's learning!  Except that he runs completely through his tracking arrow and misses the flag-plant for his path mission before doubling back.  He is learning.... slowly...  Tony has a fight where he comes close to dying, but remembers his Jedi training, Gates, and Wild Barrages.  Unfortunately, after his victory, he forgets that the reason that fight started in the first place was because he ran through a Prime, one that comes and slaps him to death.  GG.
 
-Today's Community Shout Out is for our own Nifty Engi's Youtube Channel at youtube.com/Niftypwns.  She does fantastic videos and is always a fount of brightness and sunshine.... that I will DESTROY!
 
 
Check out her guides, though, and her fan-made trailer for Drop 4.
 
-Tony calls for the Fan Art segment.  He thinks his intro is hard rock.  This is hard rock.  RBT Moody has a nice piece of a Granok trying to gun someone down (as they do).  They then show our own Vanelope's Chua picture.  It's one of the most detailed pieces I think I've ever seen.  Anivel is again features, this time showing us a drawing of Ville Vallo!  Send your fan art to fanart@wildstar-online.com.  DD would like to see art in more than just drawing format, including sculpture.  Tony brings up a Chua puppet a fan made.  DD brings up that she is deathly afraid of puppets.  That has now been stored in the Internet archive.  That may recur in reference in the future.  Never say what you're afraid of on the Internet.  Ever.
 
-The plushie giveaway comes along.  The randomized selector is broken.  So Tony asks everyone to post "DD loves puppets" in the stream to pick a winner.  I forget who wins, but there is only one loser.  Sorry DD.  Someone asks about whether they will put Wildstar merch like plushies up for sale.  However, they need inventory to do that, so that may be far in the future.
 
-Tony returns to his housing plot, to escape the mean bad guys that kill him.  So he starts putting neons up everywhere.  Like all the other guys I knew in high school, Tony loves neon lights especially after getting bullied.  Tony starts singing "Pure Imagination".  He is not Gene Wilder.  He is shot, and deservedly so.
 
-Tony puts up a sign with an Aurin woman's leg dipping over.  DD says that at least he didn't put it over the taco stand.  Tony says that would be disgusting.  Apparently, he's not a fan of fish tacos.
 
-Tony thanks one of his friends for giving him a piece of silver.  In fact, he was given a platinum.  Tony's like a cat whose owner left it millions of dollars.  He's rich and doesn't have any idea.  Buster says Tony didn't even know there was money in the game until last week.  At least he knew there was money before he learned how to use Gate and Wild Barrage.
 
-Tony and DD discover that what Tony was given was, in fact, a platinum.  They blame distance vision.  Because none of us wear glasses...
 
-Tony is completely addicted to housing.  He can't stop housing to eat.  All he wants to do is throw treasure into his trash pile and put up more neons.  It's like being 16 again.
 
-Some asshat in the stream said Tony's like a cat whose owner left it millions of dollars.  He's rich and doesn't have any idea.  You know, he's learning, VicWhateverTheHellYourNameIs!  Maybe cut the guy some slack!  Some people, man... this is why the community is so toxic.
 
-Tony's mailbox is filling with housing plots to visit.  It's also full of more decor.  I wonder if I run a live stream, if people will send me money and decor...
 
-A reminder that this is a Zero to Fifty, not a Nexus Report.  It was wrongly labeled on the forums.  I think people mostly caught on when they saw Tony piddling around on his plot not saying a word, while the women he works with are staring at him with furious anger for keeping them away from their lunch.  If not, this is confirmed, it's a Zero to Fifty.
 
That's it.  I'm done.  I'm going to go log in and try to actually play this game.  Maybe I'll just open with rampage and use relentless strikes until something dies.  That works at 50, right?  RIGHT, TONY?!  GAAH!	
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{| class="blockquote"
Sean Clanton came to work sick and spread his illness to the rest of the staff.  Fitting, since that's kind of how social media works, with largely the same results.
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I'll stick to my previous comment, Tony is a fun guy: but can't play Wildstar for poop! He's probably the worst MMO player I've ever seen.... and that's being kind.
What he did show, quite be accident, is the diversity of Wildstar, no matter how bad you are the games got something for you.
 
Tony V housing: the end result was the same! But this is a fight many of us lose, we are more than happy to get lost in housing   :)	
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			Thanks for the recap!! :D	
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			I hope he helps push the ability to turn public/neighbor harvesting on only for specific nodes, so I don't have to build giant ugly walls to protect my garden. You can take the rocks, folks, but leave my purty flowers alone! (If this has actually changed, please tell me to shut up and where I can find that option)	
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{| class="blockquote"
I hope he helps push the ability to turn public/neighbor harvesting on only for specific nodes, so I don't have to build giant ugly walls to protect my garden. You can take the rocks, folks, but leave my purty flowers alone! (If this has actually changed, please tell me to shut up and where I can find that option)
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