Where Did Everybody Go?

== Synopsis ==
In a post-apocalyptic future SpongeBob must survive by himself in a brave new world.
== Transcript ==
(Theme song plays)
'''
(The series opens with a camera zooming in on a full shot of Bikini Bottom, dead and silent. It slowly zooms in on SpongeBob’s house, and enters)
'''
SpongeBob: Well Gary, time for work!
'''
(Gary doesn’t answer because he isn’t there)
'''
SpongeBob: Oh that’s right, everyone in the ocean has been missing for three months.
'''
(SpongeBob stands up and walks to his living room where there’s an expensive TV that he stole)
'''
SpongeBob: This life is depressing. I wonder why I’m the only damn person left.
'''
(A clip plays on the TV)
'''
Scientist: Hello, I am a human from Bunker #48. If anybody is watching this, it means that the nuclear apocalypse has begun. Saudi Arabia’s tests of ocean nukes wiped out most if not all marine life, and it is a very hard time up here. Ever since Iran stole the nukes and ruined the United States of America, life hasn’t been the same. World War III was inevitable. 
'''
SpongeBob: (talking to pre-recorded clip) oh, so that’s how my life went to shit. I miss Patrick, and Squidward, and Mr. Krabs, and GARY!
'''
(SpongeBob spots Gary outside)
'''
SpongeBob: Gary! I thought I’d never see you again old pal!
'''
Gary: (with translation on) me too, Papa Bob.
'''
SpongeBob: So where did you go?
'''
Gary: I was hiding out at the abandoned pet store, hoping that there would be more food there than there is here.
'''
SpongeBob: Well then.
'''
Gary: Yeah, but then I remembered that we eat plants. Hahahaha.
'''
SpongeBob: Yeah, I’ve been living off of Kelp-Os for a few months now.
'''
Gary: Primitive. I’ve been cooking my own meals!
'''
SpongeBob: Bitch why didn’t you come home?
'''
Gary: Well, language Papa Bob! Hahaha, just kiding. FUCK.
'''
SpongeBob: Oh I get it, you’re trying to be funny.
'''
Gary: Yes, yes I am.
'''
SpongeBob: I hope that a girl survived, I need to have sex so that fishlife doesn’t end.
'''
Gary: Technically you’re not a fish.
'''
SpongeBob: True. Also, let’s go rob the mall for shit!
'''
Gary: Right behind you Papa Bob!
'''
(Gary whispers something into his shell)
'''
Gary: Yes, I have him.
'''
(Gary follows SpongeBob, the person he was talking with is unknown)
'''
SpongeBob: You coming slowpoke?
'''
Gary: Who you calling slowpoke?
'''
(Gary turns on a rocket booster and flies past SpongeBob)
'''
SpongeBob: Where the hell did you get that from?!
'''
Gary: Looting.
'''
SpongeBob: I’m gonna get one next!
'''
Gary: Good luck, this was one of a kind.
'''
SpongeBob: Damn.
'''
Gary: Well, let’s go!
'''
(The duo run to the abandoned mall and start looting)
SpongeBob: Look, I found this thing!
'''
(SpongeBob pulls a dildo from a bag)
'''
Gary: You don’t know what that is?
'''
SpongeBob: Yeah, I do I do. Pearl had me help her use one.
'''
Gary: Oooookay then.
'''
SpongeBob: Well I think we need to find some girls eventually so that the fish population doesn’t die out!
'''
Gary: Well for now let’s just do some looting.
'''
SpongeBob: Yeah, look what I found!
'''
(SpongeBob finds lots of canned food)
'''
Gary: Now we can survive!
'''
SpongeBob: Yeah, but for how long? I think we should start a way of getting some damn food.
'''
Gary: Yes PapaBob, that’s a damn good idea.
'''
SpongeBob: Look, I found a vibrating thing!
'''
Gary: What store are you in?
'''
SpongeBob: It says Dildos-R-Us.
'''
Gary: Well then PapaBob.
'''
SpongeBob: I hope that we find more people.
'''
Gary: Yes, we need friends because we’re sad and lonely.
'''
SpongeBob: Well let’s go home.
'''
Gary: I’ll be right behind you!
'''
(Screen goes black and cuts back to Gary talking through his microphone)
'''
Gary: So boss, when are you going to make yourself known to SpongeBob?
'''
The Boss: Sometime soon dearest Gary, I hope that you understand just what you’re getting yourself into.
'''
Gary: Yes, I know and that money’s going to be mine.
'''
The Boss: Well then your next step is to find Pearl.
Gary: Yes, yes I will.
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