Johnny English/Trailer transcripts

==Trailer #1==
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(Music plays, security dogs bark)
Narrator: Johnny English is daring.
(Johnny English distracts the dogs using dog toys)
Narrator: Johnny English is dashing.
Exotic Woman: Agent One. You overestimate your power over women.
Johnny English: I'd say that would be virtually impossible.
(They lean in to kiss, before the camera fades back to reality)
Narrator: Johnny English... is dreaming!
Man: English!
(Johnny English wakes up, startled)
Agent One: Gentlemen.
Johnny English: Agent One.
(Phone rings)
Johnny English: Hello?
Phone Operator: This is intelligence headquarters. Remember when I told you the only way you'd become an agent was if all the other agents were dead?
(Music builds up; we see two men getting shot at and a coffin being carried at a funeral)
Phone Operator: Well, put some bloody clothes on and get over here right away!
Johnny English: Thank you, sir.
"You're unbelievable."
Johnny English: Johnny English.
(Johnny English accidentally throws his coat out of the window, a car can be heard crashing and a cow mooing)
(A hearse drives through a garage door)
Johnny English: A good agent doesn't need gadgets. 
(Johnny English grunts and attacks a coathanger)
Johnny English: The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye...
(Johnny English accidentally pulls up a woman's dress)
Johnny English: ...a finely tuned ear...
(Johnny English accidentally drops a glass of champagne)
Johnny English: ...and a slightly bigger brain than is strictly necessary.
(Johnny English gets his coat stuck on a door and grunts)
Johnny English: Oh well, none of us is perfect.
Narrator: When the future of England is threatened...
Lorna Campbell: Get out there and save your country.
(Johnny English tries to shoot his gun, but it falls apart)
Narrator: ...British intelligence is coming.
(Johnny English gets flashed by a speed camera, and proceeds to destroy it using a missile)
Pascal Sauvage: I had his flat bugged.
(Johnny English attacks a rubber duck)
Narrator: ...Eventually.
(A short montage plays, showing Johnny English grabbing a crown, and falling over in a car park and restaurant, before cutting to Agent One, where he laughs awkwardly)
Narrator: From the producers of Bean...
Johnny English: You're so hot, teasing me.
(Pegasus facepalms as Johnny English is singing on video)
"So you're blue, but I can't take a chance on a chick like you."
Narrator: Rowan Atkinson...
Klaus Vendetta: He might be a fool...
(In a short montage, Johnny English falls over, looks up to discover the stolen crown jewels and makes karate noises)
Klaus Vendetta: ...but he's a fool who keeps showing up.
Lorna Campbell: Johnny! Be careful.
Johnny English: I'm always careful.
(Johnny English bumps his head)
Narrator: Johnny English.
Lorna Campbell: They say that sea urchin is the ultimate acquaint taste.
Johnny English: It's a personal favourite of mine.
(Johnny English spits the urchin out, before getting his tie stuck on the conveyor belt and causing chaos)
Johnny English: Excuse me. Yes, I am sorry. Sorry. Johnny English, I'm a secret agent, sorry. I am sorry. Excuse me, excuse me. Sorry.
"...dance with you honey, if you think it's funny..."
==Trailer #2==
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Narrator: In the world of espionage... there's one agent... even the Secret Service keeps secret.
Johnny English: Johnny English. I'm here to see Pegasus. So, no sense rushing things.
(Johnny English accidentally throws his coat out of the window, a car horn is heard)
Narrator: This April.
Lorna Campbell: They say that sea urchin is the ultimate acquaint taste.
Johnny English: It's a personal favourite of mine.
(Johnny English eats the urchin)
Johnny English: Mmm. Mm-hmm. Mwah.
(Johnny English spits the urchin out and gets his tie caught on the conveyor belt, causing chaos)
Narrator: Prepare...
Johnny English: Ah, reminds me of the old service issue ballpoint. Completely innocent to the untrained eye, but click it twice-
(Johnny English kicks the pen twice, paralysing Pegasus' secretary)
Narrator: ...for British intelligence.
Pegasus: Everything in order, English?
Johnny English: I think you'll find it's rather more than just "in order", sir. You are now entering the most secure location in the whole of England.
(Explosion)
Narrator: Johnny English.
Category:Johnny English
Category:Trailer transcripts