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The following was transcribed from Club Penguin's recent press conference in Kelwona, Canada.
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Spike Hike: Hello everybody, thanks for coming. Me and my minion- I mean, fellow workers Polo Field and Megg... Megg... what's your last name, Megg?
Megg: Uh... Megg?
Spike Hike: Fair enough then. As I was saying, me and my fellow workers Polo Field and Megg Megg are here to talk about this month's party, the Music Jam 2014!
Silence
Spike Hike: Uh, I said, the MUSIC JAM 2014!!! 
Silence
Spike Hike: Uh, This is where you applaud...
A few members of the audience clap awkwardly
Spike Hike (sarcastically): Alright guys, settle down, please.
Polo Field: Come on everyone, get psyched! We haven't had a Disney Channel-independent Music Jam since 2011!
Megg: Uh... Polo?
Polo Field: What?
Megg: This party does have a Disney Channel tie-in...
Polo Field: Oh yeah... well, this party will still be fun!
Spike Hike: *facepalm* Look everyone, we do listen to our fans, and we know how you feel about Disney Channel-based mascots. Because of this, we instead will only have Club Penguin original charaters at the Music Jam. Cadence...
Crickets chirp
Spike Hike: ...and the Penguin Band!
Crickets chirp
Spike Hike: ...For real this time! They won't be sprites, they will be actual mascots!
Audience cheers
Spike Hike: Now there's the applause I was looking for! See, there will be Disney Channel-based characters, but only as meetable sprites, like at the Muppets World Tour!
Audience groans
Spike Hike: Oh come on, the Muppets World Tour wasn't that bad, was it?!
Megg: Even I can't pretend that I liked that party. There weren't enough peppermint stripes.
Spike Hike: Would you cut it with the peppermint stripes, Megg?!
Megg: But they're my trademark!
Spike Hike: Exactly. Now don't make me regret ever approving the Megg Takeover back in December, the last thing your ego needs is more inflation!
Megg: I don't have a big ego! *leans in towards microphone* Hey, that reminds me, who else thinks that I should be made into a mascot?
One-third of the audience cheers
Polo Field: Come on everyone, we have awesome guests at this party! Please welcome our special guests, Cole Plante...
Some of the audience claps
Polo Field: ...Zendaya...
More of the audience begins to clap
Polo Field: ...Sabraina Carpender...
Audiance cheers
Polo Field: ...and last but not least...
Male Audience Member #1: MILEY CYRUS!!
Drumroll
Polo Field: ...Violetta!
Awkward ten-second silence
Male Audience Member #2: Who the [we are experiencing technical difficulties] is that?!
Megg: This is Martina Stoessel, better known as Violetta from the Argentine Disney Channel soap opera of the same name!
Violetta: Pleasure to meet you.
Crickets begin to chirp again
Violetta: Tough crowd, I see.
Random Audience Member (Gender Unknown): What the heck does Argentine mean?
Cole Plante: Hey everyone, how are you today?
Female Audience Member: He's so dreamy!!
Megg: Hey, back off, he's mine!
Awkward silence
Megg: He's min... mi... my... Yes! He's my friend.
Sabrina Carpender: Hello, everybody! It's great to be here, and I'm honored to be July's featured artist on the Club Penguin blog!
Zendaya: Woah woah woah, how come Cole and Sabrina are featured? Why not me?
Polo Field: Well, we kind of gave you a lot of spotlight when you played as Rocky during the Ultimate Jam...
Zendaya: You think that they're better than me, don't you?
Random Male Audience Member #3: She's going to have been two different characters on Club Penguin?!
Violetta: What are you complaining about, Zen, I wasn't asked either.
Spike Hike: AND that was our special guests for the Music Jam 2014, Cole Plante, Sabrina Carpender, Violetta, and Zendaya!
Zendaya: Hey, you said my name last!
Plante, Carpender, Zendaya, and Violetta are led away by security
Megg: So... any questions?
Female Audience Member #2: Why is Martina Stowestal or whatever her name is playing Violetta and not herself?
Polo Field: Well, we were considering having Martina Stoessel play herself, but we figured that people would have a better chance of recognizing her if she came to the party as Violetta.
Male Audience Member #4: Are you kidding me? Does Club Penguin even have any players from Argentina?
Female Audience Member #3: Violetta won't fit in at all! Zendaya is playing someone in that new Disney Channel movie, but she's not playing her character!
Spike Hike: Okay, does anyone have a question that isn't about Violetta?
Silence
Spike Hike: ...I didn't think so. Oh wait, you there in the back! What's your question?
Little Girl in the Audience: Is it true you're having a My Little Pony Takeover?
Spike Hike: OKAY, thank you everyone for coming to our conference! See you next month...! Or year...! <Small><Small><Small>Or never...</small></small></small>
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Note: This is not to be taken seriously. I am sure the audience at Club Penguin's conferences isn't that hard to please, I doubt that Megg is really that self-centered in real life, Spike Hike isn't that mean, Polo Field is a thousand times smarter than that, and Zendaya is most likely not that rude. This is only meant to be funny, and I hope that I haven't offended anyone. Thanks for reading!
-Charlie the Penguin: Don't just do something, stand there! 22:51, July 3, 2014 (UTC)