The Magazine

The Magazine is an episode of Mr. Rrarrg. In this episode, Babba gets obsessed with a certain magazine and the gang try to stop his addiction.
=== Characters ===
• Patrick
• Grr
• Babba
• Grugg
• Rrarrg
• Fish 1 (debut)
• Fish 2 (debut)
• Fish 3 (debut)
• Narrator
== Transcript ==
Narrator: Hello, and welcome back to the life and times of Mr. Rrarrg. Today we shall be looking at what the gang has been doing while the evil organisation from north korea was planning something.
(Transition to the shack, where Rrarrg is pouring himself a cup of coffee)
Patrick: Morning.
Rrarrg: Rrarararg (it's 5 in the afternoon)
Patrick: Well why didn't you tell me that sooner?!
(a mail truck pulls up to the mountain)
(the mailman puts the magazine on the doorstep and rings the doorbell)
(he leaves)
(rrarrg opens the door)
Rrarrg: rrarararrg! (my package!)
(he picks up the magazine and dashes back into the mountain)
Patrick: Oh cool, what's in it?
(rrarrg opens the package and we see a magazine)
(patrick peeks over his shoulder and sees the magazine)
Patrick: toxic waste monthly?
Rrarrg: rar. rarggarararrarg! (yes. It's the best magazine ever!)
Babba: babababababa? (what's so good about it?)
Rrarrg: rrararararg (see for yourself)
(rrarrg shows babba the pages of toxic waste monthly and babba makes some strange happy noises)
Babba: babbababa! (Wow you weren't kidding! This is good! The best magazine ever!)
Patrick: Now hold on, I haven't seen it yet!
Babba: babababa (hold on a second, I’m still reading!)
Patrick: (sulks) Darn.
French Narrator: Two hours later…
(Everyone except Patrick and Babba are fast asleep in their beds, and Babba is still reading)
Patrick: Are you DONE YET?!
Babba: babababaa (and… done. You can have it now, I’m done with this issue)
Patrick: Oh my god finally. (he snatches the magazine from Babba, who goes over to Rrarrg to shake him awake)
Babba: BABABA! (RRARRG!)
Rrarrg: RARARARG?! (WHAT IS IT?!)
Babba: Babbababbbaa? (do you have any more of those magazines?)
Rrarrg: rr.. rrarrg… (uh… no…)
Babba: BABA?! (WHAT?!)
Rrarrg: rrararararagararag, rrarrg (the next one doesn't come out until next month, sorry.)
Babba: ba… ba… BABABABABABBABABA! (but… but… I NEED MORE OF THAT TOXIC WASTE MONTHLY GOODNESS!)
Patrick: Babba, it's called monthly for a reason. And besides, this magazine isn't even that interesting! I mean look at this! 
(shot of patrick reading the magazine)
Babba: …babababa (...it's upside down)
Patrick: oh.
(patrick flips the magazine)
Patrick: No wonder I couldn't understand anything.
(Babba starts steaming, and eventually he turns red)
Rrarrg: rrarrrg? (uhh, are you okay, Babba?)
Babba: BABABAABABAABAAAA! (I NEED MORE TOXIC WASTE MONTHLY NOW!)
Patrick: But it’s monthly-
Babba: BAABABABBAAB (I DON'T GIVE A SHIT)
Rrarrg: Rarr, rararargarararg (well, you'll have to wait for next month)
Babba: bababababab (i'm gonna go look for more toxic waste monthly in the city instead)
(babba leaves)
Patrick: You know, after reading this whole magazine. It kinda sucks. I don't know why babba is addicted to it.
(cut to babba walking in the city looking for magazine stands)
Babba: baba.. baba… (come on.. come on…)
(babba notices a magazine stand)
Babba: baba! (aha!)
(he runs towards it but bashes his nuts on it)
Babba: BAAAAA (FUUUCK)
(babba notices it's locked)
Babba: bab?! Babababababba… (locked?! If only there was a way to open it…)
(babba looks around and finds a coin)
(he picks it up and places it into a coin slot; the stand opens)
Babba: bababababababa.. (alright let's see what we have here…)
Babba: (while looking through different magazines) Bababa… (house fancy…) 
(he throws it away)
Babba: Babbababa… (bikini bottom news…) 
(he throws that one away)
Babba: bababa (chum weekly…)
(he throws that one away too)
Babba: Babababababa! (there's nothing here!)
(babba sighs)
Babba: babababababa… (guess i'll have to look tomorrow…)
(fade out into morning; a fish walks up to the stand whistling and notices the magazine stand is in shambles)
Fish 1: That's weird… Usually the magazines are in the stand, not below the stand. Must've been an aggressive wind storm last night…
Fish 2: (from off screen) that wasn't a wind storm!
Fish 1: huh?
(fish 2 approaches fish 1)
Fish 2: there was a monster around these parts! And it almost took our magazines!
Fish 1: that foul beast! We must find it and kill it at once!
(fish 1 puts on another hat and cocks his gun)
Fish 2: woah where'd you get that?
Fish 1: oh it was on sale at Barg N' Mart
(cut to the mountains; we see patrick waking up on the couch)
Patrick: (yawns) Good morning, fellas.
Rrarrg: Rrrarararg (morning. Also, whatever you do, do NOT wake up Babba.)
Patrick: Got it.
Grugg: Gruggrgurgg (Wanna watch the Snail Fail show?)
Patrick: DO I?!
(The others shush him)
Patrick: (whispering) Sorry.
Grr: grrgrgrgrr (Don’t worry guys, I have it all taken care of)
(Babba is asleep with earmuffs, snoring)
(Scene cuts to the fish from earlier, who are guarding the magazine stand)
Fish 2: So far so good…
(silence)
(a tumbleweed passes by)
Fish 2: I hate tumbleweeds.
Fish 1: you know what, we're not gonna achieve anything if we stand here and wait! We need to go find that creature!
Fish 2: good idea. But what about the magazines?
Fish 1: oh, i'm sure there won't be any problems with them.
(the 2 fish walk away to find babba)
(another fish approaches the magazine stand)
Fish 3: ooh! They got chum weekly!
(cut back to the mountains)
Patrick: He can’t stay asleep forever, you know.
Rrarrg: rrarrg (sure he can! We just need to knock him out with a bat every time he wakes up)
Patrick: Doesn’t that sound… wrong?
Grugg: grugrggrgrurg (we literally blew up an important property.)
Patrick: fair point. Wait, wouldn’t it be easier just to kill him, though?
(The others shush him)
Patrick: What? I’m just saying.
Rrarrg: rrararararrg (i'd rather not use something lethal)
(cut to the 2 fish from earlier)
Fish 1: where could that wretched fiend be…
Fish 2: look! Footsteps!
Fish 1: a clue! Hurrah!
Fish 2: Now if we just follow these footsteps, we can maybe find that magazine stand destroyer!
(the 2 fish follow the footsteps)
(back to the mountains)
Grr: (yawns) grrrrrrgrrrgrr (I’m getting really tired of knocking out Babba every few hours, and I need sleep. Can someone else do it for me?)
Patrick: (taking the bat from Grr) My pleasure.
(Patrick then hits Babba with the bat, and since he is already asleep, he wakes up from the hit)
Babba: BABABABABAABABBBA?! (WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! THAT HURT!)
Patrick: …i think i went too hard.
Babba: Babbbababa? (is the new toxic waste monthly out yet?)
(Everyone else looks at each other, and then look back at Babba)
Babba: Babbba… (shit…)
Patrick: We’re sorry, but this magazine addiction is getting really out of hand.
Grugg: gruggrugrug (You bit my hand!)
Babba: babbbaababa (I thought you were food, not a magazine)
Grugg: grugggrugg (either way you were getting too much to handle)
Patrick: -so we knocked you out multiple times!
Grugg: GRUGG! (PATRICK!)
Babba: BABABBBABAA?! (YOU WHAT?!)
(grugg, grr and rrarrg look at patrick)
Patrick: what?
Babba: babbababa! bababababababab! (I can't believe this! I'm gonna go look for more toxic waste monthly!)
(babba angrily leaves)
Grr: grrrr! (great, now he’s probably gonna go on a rampage!)
Patrick: Should we stop him?
Rrarrg: rrarrrarrg (probably. Let’s go!)
(The four of them run out of the shack, and down the mountains.)
Grr: grrgrgrr! (I hope it’s not too late…)
(Just then, they see two figures in the distance)
Patrick: Huh? Do you guys see them too?
Grugg: Gruggrugg (Yeah, who are they?)
Patrick: I don’t know but I don’t like it…
(The figures come closer and it is revealed that they are the two fish from earlier)
Patrick: GAH! TWO PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW! I can’t let them see me, I gotta hide!
(Patrick hides behind a giant rock)
Fish 2: -so if i'm correct the footsteps should end riiight-
(fish 2 bumps into one of the monsters)
Fish 2: oh, excuse me. Have you seen-
(he looks up and realises how tall grr is)
Fish 2: -anyone near a magazine stand last night?
Grr: gr. grrgr (no. sorry.)
Fish 2: well these footsteps went from the magazine stand to here, so wouldn't it make sense if the monster who destroyed the poor magazine stand lived right here?
Grr: grr….. (uhh…)
Fish 1: hey wait a minute, are YOU the one who destroyed it?
Grr: grr… (no…)
Fish 2: Then who did?
(Suddenly, Babba comes running back with a chum weekly magazine)
Babba: Babbabbabbaa! (guys! Guys! I didn’t find any toxic waste monthly, but I found this new magazine instead! It’s called-)
Fish 1: THAT’S HIM! KILL HIM!
Babba: baba. (uh oh.)
(fish 1 prepares the gun but gets punched in the face by grr)
(fish 1 weakly tries to get up but gets punched again)
Grr: grggrgggrr. (that should take care of him.)
Fish 2: uh…. Oh, look at the time! I'm late for work!
(fish 2 runs away screaming)
(patrick comes out from the rock)
Patrick: Are they gone?
Babba: bab. (yeah.)
Patrick: Phew. Glad that’s over with.
Babba: babbbababa (yeah, and I found a new magazine! It’s so good! This one’s even weekly! We gotta get home so I can read the rest of it)
Patrick: Then it’s settled. Let’s go back home, fellas.
(Patrick heads back home, and the monsters follow)
(fish 3 walks into frame)
Fish 3: hey! Has anyone seen my chum weekly?
(fade out; fade back in to a shot of bikini atoll)
Narrator: and so, a new magazine was found. And peace was restored. See you in the next episode!
(episode ends)
== Trivia ==
• Most of this episode was written in a few hours.
• This is the first episode to not use the SpongeBob font since "Babba's New Girlfriend".
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