The Springfield Connection/Quotes

:Chief Wiggum: Becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.
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:Marge: Be careful! These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types!
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:Bart: Wow, Mom! I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before!
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:Homer: You've become such a cop! Not that long ago, you were so much more to me! You were a cleaner of pots, a sewer of buttons, an unplugger of hairy clogs!
:Marge: I'm still all those things. Only now I'm cleaning up the city, sewing together the social fabric, and unplugging the clogs of our legal system.
:Homer: You're cooking what for dinner?
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:Homer: Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy I thought it'd be fun and exciting! You know, like that movie, Spaceballs! Instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy!
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:Homer: You being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman! And I have no interest in that. Besides occasionally wearing the underwear which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
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:Marge: Don't stop talking on account of me. I may be a cop, but I'm still your friend. So how are you, Ms. Krabappel?
:Edna: Law-abiding.
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:Lisa: Mom, was catching that guy the most exciting thing you've ever done?
:Marge: Well, it was pretty exciting. But celery soup's pretty exciting too!
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:Marge: I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address.
:Seymour Skinner: Yes, indeed there is. There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mother and I both enjoy. She claimed it was her day to use it. I said she was mistaken. We quarreled. Later, as I prepared to bathe I noticed, to my horror, that someone had slashed the pillow.
:Marge: Who called the police?
:Seymour and Agnes Skinner: We both did.
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:Lionel Hutz: I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private. You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster confidentiality.
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:Homer: (gasps) A counterfeit jean ring operating out of my carhole! I'm gonna tell everyone. Wait here.
:Herman: (cocks gun) Not so fast.
:Homer: Ok... (walks slower)
:Herman: Maybe you should just stop entirely. ----Homer: Marge! (Homer is pulled into the treehouse by Herman, Marge pursues)
:Bart and Lisa: (watching from the window) Go get him mom!
:Marge: Go back to bed. Don't make me come up there. (Bart and Lisa groan, then Bart turns the light off, but they continue to watch)
:Herman: Looks like your wife is embarking up the wrong tree. (aims gun at entrance)
:Marge: Freeze! Every mother knows the secret entrance to her son's treehouse. (knocks Herman over, disarming him)
:Homer: Oh, Marge, you saved my life! I'm sorry I teased you. You are a really good cop. I'm proud of you.
:Herman: So long, gotta catch the 5:01. (Uses counterfeit jeans to slide down a rope)
:Homer: He's getting away, you blew it Marge.
:Marge: I don't think so. (the jeans rip)
:Herman: Oh, foiled by my own shoddy merchandise!
es:The Springfield Connection/Frases