Episode 323: Lynn Redgrave/transcript

The Muppet Show transcript for Episode 323: Lynn Redgrave.
==Cold open==
 	The dressing room. Scooter knocks on the door and peeks in.
Scooter	Lynn Redgrave! Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Redgrave.
Lynn 	Oh, thank you very much, Scooter. You know, I think it's absolutely wonderful that, instead of doing the regular show tonight, you're going to be doing the story of Robin Hood.
Scooter	Yeah, the rehearsals went great. But there's just one scene that needs a little more work.
Lynn 	Oh, which one?
 	
 	THUNK! An arrow lands on the desk, inches away from her.
Lynn 	Uh, let me guess. The archery contest?
 	An archer appears.
Archer 	Excuse me, did you see a pointy thing go by?
 	Lynn smirks.
==Theme==
Kermit 	It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Lynn Redgrave! Yaaay!
 	The curtain opens, and the theme begins.
 	
 	THUNK! An arrow lands on the wall, inches from Beauregard and other jesters.
Beauregard	Say, that was good!
 	
 	When Gonzo blows his horn, he is interrupted by a fanfare.
==Opening number==
 	Main stage. Kermit appears in costume.
Kermit 	Thank you, thank you, and welcome to The Muppet Show, in which we are going to spend the entire program doing a unique production of Robin Hood. It's gonna be very terrific because our guest is one of the great ladies of stage and screen, Miss Lynn Redgrave. And so, without further ado, or a-don't... ahem. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, the Muppet players with Lynn Redgrave proudly present Robin Hood.
 	Open on Sherwood Forest. The rest of the merry men stand still as Alan-a-Dale takes the stage and strums his lute.
Scooter 	
I wish you all a fond hello.
My name is Alan-a-Dale.
My hope is that we entertain
With this, our evening's tale.
In Sherwood Forest, dark and deep,
Dwells Robin Hood in sooth.
An outlaw and his Merry Men —
They're living fast and looth.
Fozzie 	"Fast and looth?"
 	
Scooter 	Come on, give me a break. I'm usually the go-fer around here.
Fozzie 	Time to cavort!
Scooter 	Cavort! Cavort!
 	The jaunty music resumes, as the merry men cavort, including the Swedish Chef, Lew Zealand, Beaker, and assorted frogs and Whatnots. Two merry men carry a wild boar on a spit, but within seconds, the tables have turned.
Merry man 	Ow! Ow! Ow! Let me go!
 	As the merry men cavort, the boars pass by Floyd, watching from the wings.
 	
Scooter 	So how's it going?
Floyd 	Oh, well, looks a little bit like feeding time on the freaky farm. (laughs)
Scooter 	Uh, well, I'm stage managing tonight since Kermit's in the show. Uh, could you help me move some scenery?
Floyd 	Oh, I'm sorry, Scoots. I'd love to, but I'm on strike.
Scooter 	On strike? Well, why?
Floyd 	Well, I don't dig all this Robin Hood jazz. I prefer things more hip and less green. (laughs, ankles away)
Scooter 	Great. More hip and less green. Now what am I gonna do? (notices Beauregard) Hey, Bo?
Beauregard 	Yes, sir?
Scooter 	Could you move that scenery?
Beauregard 	Yes. Right now.
 	He pushes the screen, knocking it over Scooter.
Beauregard 	That was an easy job.
 	Meanwhile, in the forest, the revelry continues.
Fozzie 	Cavort, cavort, cavort... Hey, hey, hey, hold it. Prithee, prithee, hey, cooleth it.
 	The music stops.
Merry man (DG)	Oh, what is it, Little John?
Fozzie 	Wha — you guys are not cavorting right. This is the proper way to cavort. Ahem. (demonstrates) Cavort, cavort, cavort, cavort... You got that? Cavort — like that? You got it?
Merry men 	No.
Fozzie 	Well, you better practice 'cause Robin Hood will be here any minute now.
 	He ducks, as an arrow with a note hits the tree.
Merry man (SW)	It's a note from Robin Hood.
Fozzie 	What does it say?
Merry man (SW)	"I'll be here any minute now."
Fozzie 	What did I tell you?
 	Two merry men play a horn fanfare. Kermit emerges.
Kermit 	Hi-ho, Little John.
Fozzie 	Hi-ho, Robin Hood.
Kermit 	Hi-ho, Merry Men.
Merry men 	Hi-ho, Robin Hood.
Kermit 	Well rehearsed. Well rehearsed.
Fozzie 	Thank you very much.
Kermit 	Hey, the fair Maid Marian will be here and the place looks a mess. What have you been doing?
Fozzie 	Oh, well, you see, uh...
Kermit 	Cavorting, right?
Fozzie 	Well, cavorting wrong, actually.
 	
 	Another fanfare is played to welcome Lynn. Kermit kisses her hand.
Kermit 	Oh, fair Maid Marian.
Lynn 	Oh, good Robin Hood.
Kermit 	Didst thou have a pleasant journey?
Lynn 	Oh, aye, aye. Forsooth. But methinks I was followed by the wicked Sheriff of Nottingham's men.
Muppets 	(gasp) Egads!
Kermit 	We haven't got much time then. Little John?
Fozzie 	Yes?
Kermit 	Tell the men to prepare.
Fozzie 	Yes, sir. L— Prepare what?
Kermit 	To cavort!
 	The music resumes.
 	
Fozzie 	Cavorting! Cavort, cavort...
Lynn & Muppets	
Hooray! Hooray! It's such a lovely day!
Singing, hey, down, merry down down,
Fol-rol-riddle-rol, hey nonny no!
With a dum, dum, diddle dum, dum dum diddle dum,
Hey down merry down down!
 	They all cavort.
Lynn & Muppets	
Singing, hey, down, merry down down,
Fol-rol-riddle-rol, hey nonny no!
Muppets 	
With a dum, dum, diddle dum, dum dum diddle dum…
 	Two pig guards capture Lynn and escort her away.
Lynn 	(shrieks) Robin, help!
Pig guard (FO)	To the dungeons. Come on, walk.
Muppets 	(finishing up) Hey down merry down down!
 	Applause. Fozzie bows.
Fozzie 	Thank you.
Kermit 	Hey, where's Marian? Marian?
Fozzie 	Marian?
Merry men 	Marian! Marian? Maid Marian! Marian?
Statler 	Well, I've seen a lot of versions of Robin Hood, but none to match this one.
Waldorf 	How's that?
Statler 	The others were all good.
 	They chuckle.
==Backstage==
 	Beauregard carries a chair.
Scooter 	Beau — yeah, set up the torture scene.
Beauregard 	Oh, the torture scene's going to be really fun.
Scooter 	Yeah ... (runs off)
Kermit 	OK, nicely — nicely cavorted, Merry Men. Nicely cavorted.
Merry man (JN)	Oh, you liked the cavorting? Hey, you should see us in a full frolic.
Kermit 	OK, that Lynn Redgrave is wonderful as Maid Marian. Such a demanding role.
Miss Piggy 	Hmm, speaking of a demanding role...
Kermit 	Yeah?
 	
Miss Piggy 	I do not have a role in this produccion. And I am demanding one.
Kermit 	You see, there's only one female part, that's Maid Marian. And Lynn Redgrave is playing that.
Miss Piggy 	Oh, Kermie, you were not listening, dear. I said, I am demanding one!
Kermit 	Yeah. Well, let's see, uh... I guess there is a part here you can play.
Miss Piggy 	Ooh, ooh. Let's see.
Kermit 	It'll take a little rewriting.
Miss Piggy 	I can do it! I can do it!
Kermit 	I'm sure you'd be perfect for it.
Miss Piggy 	Yes, yes, what is it? Hmm? Hmm?
Kermit 	Well, it's, ahem… It's...
Miss Piggy 	Uh-huh?
Kermit 	Sister Tuck.
 	A beat.
Miss Piggy 	Sister Tuck?
Kermit 	Yeah, well, you — you couldn't play Friar Tuck.
Miss Piggy 	Sister Tuck?!
Scooter 	Torture scene on next. On stage for the torture scene.
Miss Piggy 	You want torture, I'll give you torture! Hi-YAH!
 	She swipes at Kermit. He ducks.
Miss Piggy 	Where are you?
Kermit 	Piggy, let me explain.
Miss Piggy 	Sister Tuck?!? Sister Tuck?!?
 	She chases after him.
==Sheriff of Nottingham==
 	The curtain opens on the torture chamber. Gonzo, the Sheriff of Nottingham, awaits.
Gonzo 	Bring in the prisoner.
 	Sweetums escorts a yelping Lynn into the room.
Sweetums	Move it. That's right, move it. Move it. Please move it. Get up there, OK. Um, here she is.
 	
Gonzo 	Ah, Maid Marian, you are now a dungeon guest of the Sheriff of Nottingham. (cackling)
 	Jarring chord.
Lynn 	(faints) Oh, no, not the Sheriff of Nottingham.
 	
Sweetums	(catches her) Oh, no, no, that's the Great Gonzo.
Lynn 	(elbows him) No, you fool, that's the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Sweetums	Oh! Yeah, sorry, I keep forgetting it's a play. (walks off)
Gonzo 	I have you in my power now, my pretty.
Lynn 	You black-hearted villainous swine.
Gonzo 	Oh, you silver-tongued flatterer.
Lynn 	I demand to be set free.
Gonzo 	Not until you tell me the exact location of Robin Hood's hideout.
Lynn 	I'll never tell you. Never!
Gonzo 	That's terrific.
Lynn 	Thank you.
Gonzo 	And now it's torture time.
 	Jarring chord.
Lynn 	Just try and make me talk.
Gonzo 	All riiiight! We have ways of making you talk. Take these thumbscrews, for instance.
Lynn 	All right. What do they do?
Gonzo 	Well, you put your thumb in here like this. (puts his own thumb in there)
Lynn 	Yes.
 	
Gonzo 	That's it, then you turn the little handle on top.
Lynn 	This way?
Gonzo 	No, the other way.
Lynn 	Sorry. (turns the wheel)
 	
Gonzo 	That's better. See, when you do that, it presses the bar down on the thumb. And it's very — HEE HEE! WHOO! AHH! WHOO! OW! WOW! All right, now will you talk?
Lynn 	No. I'll never tell you, never.
Gonzo 	All right, another turn.
Lynn 	You know, you're wasting your time. (turns the wheel further)
Gonzo 	Whaaa! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! You could be right about that. Ooh, but you won't talk so bravely on the rack, my dear.
Lynn 	The rack? What's that?
Gonzo 	You'll wish you never asked.
 	
 	Jarring chord. Kermit and Floyd watch from the wings.
Kermit 	Gonzo's tying to get himself killed.
Floyd 	Yeah, but he won't make it. He never succeeds at anything. (laughs) Best he can hope for is maimed. (laughs)
 	Gonzo is now stretched out on the rack.
Lynn 	Manacles secured, hand and foot, right?
Gonzo 	(panting) Correct. There is no escape from this pain. Ugh.
Lynn 	This pain here? (turns the crank)
Gonzo 	Whoo! Ooh! Yes! Isn't that terrific?
 	She turns it further, lengthening his arms.
Gonzo 	Come on, talk. How much more of this can you take?
 	She stops, having become exhausted.
Lynn 	Oh! Good Sheriff, I can take no more of this. I've got to go and stretch out for a nap in my dressing room. Goodbye. (exits)
 	
Gonzo 	Hey, wait! Wait! We haven't even tried the boiling oil yet. Ahh! Ahh!
 	Jarring chords end the scene.
==Backstage==
Scooter	Torture scene over! Archery scene next! Stand by, archers and peons! (reads from a paper) "Archers and peons … Scooter" — I'm on, too!
 	He runs onstage. Meanwhile, Fozzie struggles with a heavy target.
Fozzie 	But, Scooter — oh — come on! I've got to get this out for the archery contest. Somebody give me a hand.
Gonzo 	You say you want a hand?
 	
Gonzo 	You got one. Come on.
 	He and Fozzie laugh while carrying the target.
==Archery scene==
 	A fanfare plays as the curtain opens on the archery scene. Alan-a-Dale enters and sets the stage.
Scooter 	(strumming lute)
The day of the archery contest.
There isn't one seat left to sell.
The crowd on the green's packed as tight as sardines,
Which might also account for the smell.
 	The fanfare resumes. Some of the crowd boos.
Scooter 	(strumming lute)
Both contestants look good to the experts.
 	
Louis Kazagger	
Yes, the winner is tricky to choose.
But I'll stick my neck out and, without any doubt,
Say the other guy's certain to lose.
Scooter 	Is that it? Is that all you can tell us?
Louis Kazagger	Well...
Scooter 	
As our archers warm up on the track?
But, regrettably, he only gets to say...
Louis Kazagger	Gee.
Scooter 	…when a practice shot cancels his act.
 	THWACK! An arrow hits Louis in the face. He faints.
Scooter 	
Black Bart is the opening archer,
The Sheriff of Nottingham's man.
With the strength of an ox, the nerve of a fox…
And the brains of a gooseberry flan.
 	Black Bart shoots, hitting the outside of the target. The crowd cheers. Beauregard takes the arrow and sets it in the center.
Scooter 	
But the Sheriff has bribed and corrupted a youth
The rules of the contest to bend.
He never heard say that crime doesn't pay…
 	Black Bart shoots another arrow, which lands in Beau's rump.
 	
Scooter 	…but he sure gets the point in the end.
 	The crowd cheers. A disguised Kermit steps up.
Scooter 	
So with Black Bart awarded a bull's-eye,
There's little poor Robin can do!
Save to trust to his luck, his nerve and his pluck …
 	SPROING!
Scooter 	… And split Black Bart's arrow in two!
 	The crowd rejoices except for Black Bart. Applause.
Kermit 	Thank you, thank you, thank you. My pleasure. Nice contest.
==UK spot==
 	Backstage, Sam addresses the audience.
Sam the Eagle	Ahem. During this interval, it is my great pleasure to present the author of tonight's drama. Ladies and gentlemen … (reads from a card) … Mr. William Shakespeare.
William 	Delighted.
Sam the Eagle	You are the William Shakespeare?
William 	I am a William Shakespeare, yeah.
Sam the Eagle	Mr. Shakespeare, what an honor. Do you know I saw The Sound of Music at least a dozen times?
William 	Uh, now wai-wait just a minute. This here William Shakespeare is my nome de plume.
Sam the Eagle	Your what?
 	
William 	My pen name.
Sam the Eagle	Then you are not the real William Shakespeare?
William 	Well, of course not. (his pencil falls off his ear)
Sam the Eagle	Of course not! I can see that now. He was a uh, a bearded man. And you're much younger.
William 	And he's dead.
Sam the Eagle	And he's... (slaps the table) … IS he?! Oh! I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize.
William 	Yeah, I can see that. Yeah.
Sam the Eagle	Tell me, did he leave a wife and children?
William 	Well, as far as I'm aware, he left just about everything. Including an unfinished play, Henry VIII.
Sam the Eagle	That's a tragedy.
William 	Well, it certainly isn't a comedy.
Sam the Eagle	And, by adopting his name, you hope to keep something of his legend alive.
William 	Yeah. Principally his royalties.
Sam the Eagle	His what?
 	
William 	His royalty payments.
Sam the Eagle	You're good.
William 	Thank you.
Sam the Eagle	Tell me, could you please recite a portion of his masterpieces?
William 	Uh, sure, but let me get an actor to do it properly, all right?
 	A group of merry men pass behind them. He stops the Swedish Chef.
William 	Hey! Hey, you! … Actor. Excuse me. You wanna read this for me, please?
 	He looks over a paper.
Sam the Eagle	This is an actor?
Swedish Chef 	(reading) Tü bê ør nøt tü bê… (mock Swedish)
Sam the Eagle	I didn't understand all of it, but I'm certain the English people enjoyed it. Now back to work.
 	The Chef crumples the paper and tosses it.
Sam the Eagle	Don't litter.
=="I Still Love You"==
 	Open on Kermit and Lynn in the forest at night.
 	
Kermit 	Oh, prithee, fair Maid Marian, thank you for joining me in this here fair glen here.
Lynn 	Oh, good Robin Hood, this was the very spot that we first met.
Kermit 	Yeah, verily.
Lynn 	Yes, and I shall always remember it. And how surprised I was to meet the famous Robin Hood.
Kermit 	Surprised? Uh, in what way surprised?
Lynn 	Um... Well, um...
Kermit 	I mean, uh, was it the fact that I'm a daring robber? Or, or the fact that I'm debonair and handsome?
Lynn 	No, it was the fact that you were a frog.
Kermit 	Ahem. Uh, you noticed that, huh?
Lynn 	Yes, well, I couldn't help noticing. Particularly since I'm not one.
 	He strums his lute.
Kermit 	Oh. Well, um, listen, Marian. Uh, don't, don't let that worry you.
Your eyes are not bulgy.
You don't live in a swamp.
You don't hop or turn somersaults.
Your feet are not webbed,
And you never eat flies.
I'm sorry to dwell on your faults.
And yet I still … love you.
I always will love you.
You shine in my mind like a dream.
 	She sings along.
Kermit 	
And, yet, I still love you.
I always will love you.
Although you are not even green.
Lynn 	
I know I'm an odd one.
I'm not like a frog.
My head is all covered with hair.
No flippers, no bulges,
No croaking, no warts.
No wonder that sometimes you stare.
And yet, if you love me…
Kermit 	You know that I love you.
Lynn 	You shine in my mind like a dream.
Kermit 	And so if I love you…
Lynn & Kermit 	
I really do love you,
Who cares if I'm/you're not even green?
 	
 	The song ends. Applause.
Lynn 	Good Robin Hood?
Kermit 	Yea?
Lynn 	Pray, kiss me sweetly.
Kermit 	Ooh.
 	Just as they are about to kiss, enter Sister Tuck …
 	
Miss Piggy 	Hello. Ahem.
Kermit 	Piggy!
Miss Piggy 	Ahem. Prithee, Robin Hood.
Kermit 	What?
Miss Piggy 	Thou art wanted in yon... thicket.
 	She carries him off. Lynn shrieks as she is surrounded by pig guards.
Pig guard (SW)	OK, Maid Marian, to the dungeon. Move!
Lynn 	Oh, Robin, Robin, no!
Waldorf 	Hmm. What'd you think of Miss Piggy's outfit?
Statler 	I think she ought to kick the habit. (laughs)
Waldorf 	That's an old joke.
Statler 	So are you. (laughs)
==Backstage==
 	The pig guards have locked Lynn in her dressing room. Kermit is noticeably upset with Piggy.
 	
Kermit 	Miss Piggy, I want to talk to you!
Miss Piggy	Oh. You mean, you wish an audience with Sister Tuck?
Kermit 	(sigh) No, I want to talk to you. I want to know what you did with Lynn.
Miss Piggy	Ah-ah-ah — remember, blessed are the meek.
Kermit 	What did you do with her?
Miss Piggy	Meeker.
Kermit 	(sigh) (meek voice) Uh, what did you do with her?
Miss Piggy	Oh, that's nice. She is in yonder dressing room. She's OK.
Kermit 	Yeah, but uh, the big dungeon scene is coming up next. I'll go tell her.
Miss Piggy	(blocks him) No, no, um... I should tell her. It is the least that moi can do.
Scooter 	Town crier on stage.
 	
Fozzie 	Uh, Scooter, Scooter, the town crier is on stage, but he can't go on.
Scooter 	Why not?
Fozzie 	He lost his onion. Ahh! See, the onion makes him cry, and...
Scooter 	Will you get out of here?!
Fozzie 	I wrote that myself.
Scooter 	Will you get out of here?!
Fozzie 	Yes sir, yes sir.
==Muppet newsflash==
 	The Newsman, aka the town crier, rings his bell. A dog barks beside him.
Newsman	Five o'clock and all's well. Five o'clock and all's well. Except that Maid Marian has been kidnapped, the sheriff's up to no good, that dog is stealing cheese, Kermit's mad at Piggy and it's really only 4:30.
 	
 	KONK! A flowerpot falls on his head.
==To the rescue==
 	Jarring chords play to establish the dungeon scene.
 	
Pig guard (SW)	So, how goes the night?
Pig guard (JN)	'Tis dark but still.
Pig guard (SW)	Still what?
Pig guard (JN)	Still dark.
 	They chuckle, as Kermit and the merry men slip past them.
Pig guard (SW)	That's a good one. Yeah. Our prisoner, Maid Marian, is safe.
Pig guard (JN)	Yes.
Pig guard (SW)	Yeah.
Kermit 	Yoo-hoo.
Pig guard (JN)	Hark! A noise.
Pig guard (SW)	What?
Kermit 	(sneaks up behind them) Ah-ha!
 	He knocks down the first pig guard with a stick, then spars with the second.
Kermit 	Ah-ha! Hold fast, good sir, lest I strike you again with my quarterstaff.
Pig guard (JN)	That's a cheap weapon. Mine cost fifty cents.
Kermit 	That's a cheap joke. You'll pay for that!
 	
 	They begin sparring.
Kermit 	Float like a butterfly, sting like a frog!
 	Kermit lets him have it. The merry men rejoice.
Fozzie 	All right, Kermit! Robin Hood, I mean. Yes! Oh, sir, Robin Hood, thou did smite him mightily on the pâté.
Merry man (RH)	Uh, I believe that's pate.
Fozzie 	I'm sorry. Kermit, I'm sorry.
Kermit 	Yes, but uh, good men of Sherwood Forest, we must now sneak away and rescue the Maid Marian.
Fozzie 	Sneak and rescue!
Merry men 	(random) Sneak away! Yeah!
Kermit 	Wait! Wait, men! We must go hushily.
Merry men 	(random) Oh, hushily. Hush. Shh. Shh.
 	They approach a shadowed chair with someone tied to it.
Kermit 	Ooh. Hark, it is the beautiful Maid Marian. Lights.
 	The lights come up. It's …
Kermit 	(gasp) Piggy!
 	
Miss Piggy 	Oh, Robin Hood, I am save'd. (swoons)
Kermit 	Piggy, where's Lynn Redgrave?
Miss Piggy 	Um... stage fright. She won't come out of her dressing room. I thought it best if I took over her part. (continues swooning)
Kermit 	Piggy? Stage fright? Stage fright?
Miss Piggy 	(sheepish) Well — also... her dressing room door became sort of stuck.
Kermit 	Stuck? Quick, my merry men, to the rescue! To the dressing room! Come on, let's go! Ho, and away we go!
 	They all exit, leaving Piggy still tied to the chair.
Miss Piggy 	Hold it, wait! It's me. I'm stuck here. Hey, come on. Help! Police!
Gonzo 	Will the sheriff do?
Miss Piggy 	What?
 	He sits on her lap.
 	
Gonzo 	Kissy, kissy.
 	He starts kissing her all over. She screams.
 	
 	Meanwhile, two more pigs guard the dressing room.
Pig guard (RH)	How goes it?
Pig guard (DG)	Strange. Strange but still.
Pig guard (RH)	Still what?
Pig guard (DG)	Still strange.
 	They chuckle.
Pig guard (RH)	Our prisoner, Lynn Redgrave, is safe.
 	She screams from inside the room.
Pig guard (DG)	And loud.
Pig guard (RH)	(nods) Hmm.
Lynn 	Someone help me! I'm supposed to be on stage! Help!
 	Kermit slinks by.
Kermit 	Knock-knock.
Pig guard (RH)	Who's there?
 	BONK! Kermit knocks him down. The other one cowers.
Kermit 	Ah-ha! Stand fast, good sir. Move not, lest I strike thee also with my quarterstaff.
Pig guard (DG)	Ha! Mine cost a buck ninety-five.
 	They begin sparring.
Pig guard (DG)	Ooh, ow! Ooh, a swordfight. Yes. I'll hit you.
Kermit 	Wait a minute. Tickle tickle tickle.
Pig guard (DG)	(laughs)
 	BONK! Kermit knocks him down.
Kermit 	Come, Merry Men, to the rescue!
Merry men 	Hooray! To the rescue! Come on!
 	Kermit opens the door and they enter the dressing room, finding Lynn tied to a chair.
Kermit 	What ho, Maid Marian. Victory is ours.
Lynn 	Oh, Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
 	They all free her, then start singing.
 	
Lynn & Muppets	Hooray! Hooray!
Lynn 	My Robin saved the day!
Lynn & Muppets	
Singing, hey, down, merry down down,
Fol-rol-riddle-rol, hey nonny no!
With a dum, dum, diddle dum, dum dum diddle dum—
Lynn 	Quiet! Shh! Listen, listen, shh. Kermit, listen, shouldn't we be doing this on the stage?
Kermit 	On the stage? You're right. Quick, Merry Men, to the stage!
 	They all make their way downstairs.
Fozzie 	To the forest, here we go.
Scooter 	To the forest! To the forest!
Lynn 	Come quickly. Come, Robin. Come, Merry Men, to the greensward.
Merry men 	To the greensward! To the greensward!
 	They all make it to the greensward, cheering.
Kermit 	We won!
Lynn 	We won!
Lynn & Muppets	And now our play is done!
Kermit 	Our fair maid has been from from the fort…
Lynn 	By my brave little prince of the wart!
Gonzo 	(still in the dungeon) Now there's naught to do but resort…
Lynn & Muppets	
To a feisty old cavort!
Singing, hey, down, merry down down,
Fol-rol-riddle-rol, hey nonny no!
With the most sensational, cavort-ational
Inspirational, Muppetational
Tale of Robin Hood!
 	Applause. They all take a bow. Gonzo and the pig guards join them.
==Goodnights==
Lynn 	Kermit, this has been a most unique theatrical experience.
Kermit 	Oh, thank you. We can take that as a compliment?
Lynn 	Um...
Kermit 	Well, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.
 	
 	They all gather as the credits roll.
Lynn 	Bye.
Miss Piggy	Kissy kissy. Kissy kissy.
Scooter 	Miss Piggy, excuse me. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. It was nice to be here. Thank you. Yes, I played all 36 of them. Thank you. Thank you, Lynn. Thank you very much, all the helpers. Thank you, all the little people back there. Thank you, Lynn. Thank you, Uncle J.P.
Statler 	The legend of Robin Hood will never die.
Waldorf 	No, but it sure got wounded pretty bad tonight.
 	They chuckle.
__NOWYSIWYG__
Category:Muppet Show Transcripts