Dante the Entertainer/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Dante the Entertainer".
== ==
(Poppy is telling the story of the Balloon Sword.)
Poppy: This is a tale of prophecy, of destiny, and a balloon. (We show Cooper holding a balloon. The camera zooms out to reveal him in a clown costume with Tiny Diamond and some young Trolls.)
Cooper: And with a few twists, you get… (He makes a balloon version of himself.) … the handsomest balloon ever! (laughs) I’m biased. (The young Trolls cheer.)
Tiny Diamond: Oh, yeah! Superb!
Cooper: your work here is done, Balloon Cooper. You’re free now. (He laughs as his balloon version leaves. Tiny Diamond walks sideways onto a rock while carrying his airhorns.)
Tiny Diamond: Excuse me, people. Excuse me! Show some mad respect and give it up one more time for Cooper! (He blows his airhorns.) The greatest children’s entertainer of all time! (He blows a bigger airhorn. Cooper then throws it away.)
Cooper: The greatest? No, no, my child. For that title belongs to a Troll who has yet to discover their destiny.
Poppy: Cooper’s right. (She is seen with a purple and yellow party hat.) For he speaks of… “The Prophecy.” (She shows the Balloon Sword.) Behold… the Balloon Sword in the Stone.
All: Ooh!
Cooper: You are right to “ooh.” For long has it been prophesied that whoever draws it from the stone shall perform a show like no child has ever seen.
All: Wow!
Poppy: Well, go on. Get up there and give it a pull! (A purple female Pop Troll child tries and fails to pull the sword out with her hair.
Tiny Diamond: Step aside, Troll children. I know I’m the chosen one ‘cause my daddy tells me I’m special every day! (He fails to pull out the sword.) Me and my daddy are gonna have words. Daddy! (He runs away while blowing his airhorns.)
Poppy: (giggles) Butter luck next time, Tiny! (Dante comes out of the bushes screaming in panic.)
Dante: Poppy, come quickly! It’s an emergency!
Poppy: An emergency?
Dante: Ah! I just finished composing a symphony in D-flat major. But I have just learned that D-flat is… (shivers) … so last season.
Poppy: Oh. Well, I’d love to help, Dante, but I’m here watching the kids try to pull the sword.
Dante: What, this thing? (He flies over to the sword.) Here. (He manages to pull the Balloon Sword out. Poppy, Cooper, and the children gasp.) Um, why is everyone gaping at me in hushed awe? (He starts to leave.) No, no. I can’t be a children’s entertainer. (Poppy comes out of the bushes.) It’s a mistake!
Poppy: A mistake? Dante, why?
Dante: Because I have nothing in common with children. Well, aside from my adorable, baby-like appearance. (He poses like a baby and a baby’s laughing is heard.) But otherwise, nothing! As a great conductor, I make beautiful music! While children make… (We show some young Trolls using objects like cymbals and a frying pan.) … that.
Poppy: Look, Dante, the sword chose you for a reason. (She takes out the Balloon Sword from her hair.) I mean, you can’t run away from your destiny, right? (She gives the sword to Dante.)
Dante: Well, I don’t want to disappoint the children. I suppose I should at least give it a try. And I will admit being the “Chosen One of Legend” does have a nice ring to it.
Cooper: Excellent! Then I shall spread word through the village that all may know: “In one week’s time, the entertainer who was promised shall deliver the great performance of prophecy!” (He jumps onto his balloon version.) Yah! (His balloon version takes off like a horse.)
Dante: Hm. Perhaps we could assemble a small test audience so I can practice my material. But what exactly does a children’s entertainer do?
Poppy: Lots of things. Be a clown, ventriloquism, perform magic.
Dante: (gasps) Children like magic? (Soon, three children are at a little stage. Dante comes out through the curtains.) Attencion, children! Attencion! I am the Great Dantini!
All: Ooh!
Dante: (Taking off his top hat) As you can see, I am wearing an ordinary, empty hat. But when I say the magic words: Abra Hair-dabra! (The children gasp.) Behold! Still empty! (Wind comes out of his hat.)
All: Huh?
Dante: (laughs) For the only real magic is inspiration, which comes not from hats, but from hours of sitting in silent contemplation! (He gets in the audience.) Sit, children! Let us experience the magic together. (The children groan. Soon, Dante is back up on the stage.) Well, it seems magic isn’t my forte. So instead, who would like to meet my ventriloquist dummy, Caruthers?
Caruthers: Oh, so you think I am the dummy?
Dante: Hm? (The children laugh.)
Caruthers: Well, you’re quite correct. I am a puppet after all, so calling me a dummy is objectively true! (laughs)
All: Huh?
Dante: Say there, Caruthers? Why did the Classical Troll cross the road?
Caruthers: Ha! To visit the local library and check out the complete works of Leo Trollstoy so he can read it to young children of course!
All: Uh…
Dante: Right you are! (He chuckles and takes out a book.) “Twas a fornight plus two since the last Miller had spoken to the local burnisher…” (The kids fall asleep.) “Or was it a fornight plus three? (He hears a cymbal crashing. Soon, Poppy is trying to comfort him.) I don’t know where I lost them! Uh, face it, Poppy. The sword made a mistake. I will never entertain these children!
Poppy: Oh, Dante, don’t give up! There’s still a whole week before your big show.
Dante: Yes. You’re right. That is enough time to figure things out. (A week later, many children are cheering in front of a big stage. Poppy and Dante are seen looking behind the curtains. Dante whimpers in fear.)
Poppy: Gosh, that week went by fast.
Cooper: Whoo! That crowd size is very intimidating! (laughs)
Dante: Oh! (He, Poppy, and Cooper go back behind the curtains.) Oh! I-I feel as though I might faint. What do I do?!
Poppy: I’ll tell you what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna get out on that stage and deliver! You are Dante Crescendo! You have conducted symphonies for crowds 10 times this size! You pulled a balloon sword from a stone when nobody else could! And now… (She takes Dante’s hands.) … you’re going to put on a show like no kid has ever seen!
Dante: Oh! Poppy. That speech! It was so inspiring! But it did nothing for me at all! (He gasps loudly and faints.)
Cooper: Oh! Are you OK?!
Poppy: Dante? Dante!
Dante: That’s it! (He gets up.) I quit!
Cooper: Quit?! But what about the show?! You’re the Chosen One!
Dante: (Taking out the Balloon Sword) Not anymore! I dub thee, Sir Cooper of “You Have To Do It So I Don’t Have To.” Rolls right off the tongue! Tata!
Poppy: Dante, wait! You can’t run from your destiny!
Dante: WATCH ME! (He goes through the bushes and laughs.) Take that prophecy! No longer will Dante Crescendo be tethered by unfounded prognostication! (He bumps into a purple balloon and falls. A yellow Yballoon grows from the ground along with more.) What’s going on?! (Even more balloons grow.) Aah! Aah! Aah! What is this chicanery?! (He hears Caruthers laughing.) Huh?!
Caruthers: Dante, Dante, Dante. You have to go back, Dante.
Dante: (gasps) Caruthers?! But you can’t speak by your own free will!
Caruthers: (As more balloons grow) Oh, not my will, Dante. (A balloon grows and pops in front of him and he disappears.)
Dante: Aaah! (Caruthers reappears when a blue balloon pops in front of him.)
Caruthers: It is the will… of destiny.
Dante: Oh! (He picks up the Balloon Sword.) Have at you, sir! (Caruthers makes a red double balloon sword and Dante gasps. Then he and Caruthers begin to fight.)
Caruthers: What about the children, Dante? I-I tried, Caruthers! I really did! (He and Caruthers continue to fight to the edge of a cliff. Caruthers then manages to swing the Balloon Sword away. He pokes his balloon sword against Dante’s face, knocking him off the cliff. He sees many instruments and Caruthers on the edge of the cliff.) You cannot run from destiny.
Dante: (As he starts sinking) But I can’t do it, Caruthers! (He tries to free himself.) I’m not a clown or a ventriloquist or a magician!
Caruthers: No, you are not. But you are Dante Crescendo!
Dante: Oh! (He is nearly buried in the instruments.)
Caruthers: Also, I am your father!
Dante: What? (The screen goes black and Date wakes up with Poppy and Cooper watching him.)
Poppy: Dante? Dante!
Cooper: Are you OK?
Dante: Wha-what happened?
Cooper: Oh, you fainted. Like this. (He falls to the ground.) And then you started flopping all around on the floor while you had your epiphany dream. Like this. (He rolls on the ground.) “Uh! Uh! Caruthers! Caruthers!” (He gets up.) I-it was weird!
Dante: So, the children? The show?! I didn’t miss it?!
Poppy: Nope. They’re still waiting for you. (She shows the children playing.)
Dante: Then it’s time for Dante Crescendo to put on a show! And I can guarantee, it will be like “no kid has ever seen!” (He comes out on the stage.) Children. (The children stop playing.)
All: Huh?
Dante: Ready your noisemakers. (He takes out the Balloon Sword and points at a young male Pop Troll who starts hitting a spoon off a frying pan. Dante raises the Balloon Sword and more of the children play their instruments. He then sings Find Your Destiny.)
(Dante)
Listen to the sounds
Intertwining
All together now
Harmonizing
Magic in the air
So exciting
I feel like I’m in my zone
When it feels so right
No denying
That you found your light
‘Cause you’re shining
Perfect enterprise
Perfect timing
I feel like I found my home
Sing, oh!
(All)
Oh!
(Dante)
Sing, oh!
(All)
Oh!
(Dante)
Yes!
When your destiny calls
You answer
In this ballet you are
One dancer
You can’t run
You can’t hide
You are fated to find you destiny (The children cheer for Dante. As he poses, the camera cuts to a scrapbook and it closes with the words "The End" as the episode ends.)
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