Lord Farquaad

Lord Farquaad is the arch enemy of Shrek and is one of the many evil ex rulers of the Kingdom of Far Far Away, and probably the most evil of them all. He ate his favorite gingerbread man, tried to kill him, and attempted to steal his girlfriend, and tried to do a genocide on the Ogres.
In addition to being evil, he is unfathomably stupid, and once swallowed a chainsaw to sever an intestinal cyst revealed by an ultrasound. He instead severed his Fart Regulation Gland, and developed incurable chronic flatulence, and also somehow turned into a codfish. This earned him the nickname Lord Fartcod, which he stupidly changed his name to thinking it would make things less confusing for people. After realising how embarrassing his new name was however, he changed it back.
He likes DINNER, but only likes pizza. If you give him something that isn't pizza, he come to your house, he will hunt you down, and he will kill you. The most famous scene in Shrek with Lord Farquaad is when his is sitting on the couch with Shrek with a gun up to him. He currently lives in London.
==Early Life==
Farquaad was born A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away to unknown parents, and attended Far Far Away Elementary School from age 5, and Far Far Away Grammar School from age 10.
At the age of 13 he dropped out of school and ran away to join the circus, where he became a weakman, variation on the strong man made up by the rest of his troupe so they didn't damage his self esteem. He was a sensitive youth, easily offended and just as easily angered. After the audience laughed at him on his first performance, he became so angry he accidentally destroyed the entire big top with a nuclear powered fart, pooping his pants in the process. The audience, uninjured, laughed even harder.
After realizing no normal human could produce that amount of fart gas, he realized he was destined for far greater than the circus. Driven by his hatred and resentment of those who mocked him, he tried to enter the field of supervillainy, but was rejected since his super powers couldn't actually injure anyone. Abandoning his dreams of becoming a supervillain, he decided to become the next closest thing, a politician.
==Career as King of Far Far Away==
Farquaad anounced his candidacy in 1582 and was elected as Supreme King of all Far Far Away in 1583. From then on he began terrorizing the citizens of Far Far Away until 1601, when he was inexplicably killed by a dragon. Or so we thought, until he was sighted outside The London Eye, talking to Australia's ex primeminister, Malcolm Turnbull.
===Turnbull Conspiracy===
Main Article: Malcolm Turnbull, Lord Farquaad's Right Hand Man
Malcolm Turnbull is allegedly working for Farquaad, who the single witness of their meeting reports now lives somewhere in London. The details of Turnbull and Farquaad's relationship are sketchy, but after a series of crimes committed by the former, and more reports coming in every day of the formerly broke Farquaad buying shares in large companies, the evidence can't easily be disputed.
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