Lotto-Worthington Wedding Vows

The Lotto-Worthington wedding vows are the vows spoken by Nathan "Nuggo" Worthington and Kayleigh Lotto on the occasion of their wedding, in Episode 6: The Bogan Bash Part 1. Like many bogan wedding vows, they are done in the form of poetry, but in the manner of Fantasy Australia they are considerably dirtier than average.
==Nuggo's Vows==
Where's love from? Not from the heart
My love for you is like a fart.
It keeps me warm, it makes me laugh,
It summons bubbles in the bath.
Under the covers, mouth agape,
Love holds your head down, no escape.
Romantically I vent my arse
And reminisce of dinners past.
A bit of me goes into you,
Wafting in your nostrils two
And with such bonding I do vow
To always give your field a plough,
To share me beer, to share me cigs,
To fill you with a hundred kids.
And when I'm bloated on the couch,
An old, distended, fuck-faced grouch,
Who cannot summon an erection,
I'll send a fart in your direction.
==Kayleigh's Vows==
Nuggo hun, you're my wet dream.
Call it lack of self-esteem
Short-sightedness or lack of nouse
But fair digs, Nugs, I think you're grouse.
I love it when you show your bum
Or flip a finger at me mum
Or fight some dickhead, mock his taste
And smash a bottle in his face.
And even when you're forced to cheat
You keep your girlfriends so discreet.
You're sweet and thoughtful, even when
You're knuckle-deep in my best friend.
I cannot wait to be your bride,
The faithful trophy at your side.
To love, to honour and obey
And drink my weight in chardonnay.
But even when I'm old and doughy,
I'll still give you heaps of blowies.
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