Beauty

***
Mommy always said:
“Pain is beauty.”
So I took it to heart.
Everytime I plucked and scrubbed
Myself to perfection.
*
I craved attention
Wanted boys to look twice
And holler for my number.
But I never got a cat call,
Or a sign of interest.
*
So, God as my witness,
I changed myself.
Went under the knife
To get affection
Or the slightest smile.
*
Mother looked at me with bile.
“You’re different, you’re changed.”
“It hurts, like you said.”
“This isn’t what I meant.”
She never looked at me the same again.
*
Is it over then?
My chance of happiness?
Always wanted a man beside me,
Happy to have me,
Cherishing his beautiful woman.
*
‘Maybe I’m just human’
I tell myself,
Holding a different knife.
This one will change me for good,
And only God will know my real face.
*
It’s all just a race
Too see who will finish first.
Except for a trophy,
It’s unhappiness
And death.
***
Category:Honeyrose34's Poems
Category:I Love Writing Club Entry
Category:Poems