Every Man's Dream/Quotes

:(Homer started sleeping at the Nuclear Plant after Marge threw him out of the house)
:Lenny: Poor guy, Living at the plant.
:Carl: And yet he's still late!
----
:(Homer tries to call Marge, but Selma answers the phone)
:Selma: Hello Homer. Marge is getting ready for a date!
:Homer: (sad) Marge? On a date?
:Selma: Yep! But I'll make you a deal: I'll try to save your marriage if you can guess which one I am.
:Homer: Patty?
:Selma: Wrong! (hangs up on Homer, who starts crying)
----
:(Homer is putting his bags on his car's trunk to leave the house while Marge and the kids watch him)
:Lisa: What's going on here?
:Homer: (crying) Nothing! (pretends to be happy) Everything's fine! See? (breaks down and cries, hugging the kids) I'll love you forever!
:Marge: Kids, a professional felt the best way for your father and me to work on our relationship, was to give up on it.
:Lisa: But after a while, dad's coming back?
:Homer: Oh yeah, Of course...
:Marge: Maybe not.
:Homer: Oh, Marge, after all my divorce-worthy statements and actions, many of which you don't know about, how can you kick me out now that I'm sick? Narcolepsy is a serious thing.
:Marge: Maybe because you didn't take it seriously enough.
:(a car with a "just married" banner and some cans attached to it passes by)
:Homer: I pity you! (enters his car and drives off crying)
:Bart: (crying) Why is Daddy going away? Is it my fault? (stops crying and acts like he's happy) Just kidding! I have been waiting for this! (yelling) All my problems are my parent's fault! Mr. Flanders, can I cry on your shoulder?
:Ned: (To Rod and Todd) Boys, get my tear dickey!
:Rod and Todd: Yaaaay!
----
:(Homer wakes up on a bed after his hallucination)
:Homer: What!? Candles? Clean sheets? Did I passed out on Urban Outfitters? (sees Candace beside him on the bed) Oh god, Oh god!! I've just commited the one drunken mistake I've never made!! Well... Bart.
----
:(Homer realizes he just slept with Candace)
:Homer: (putting his pants back on) Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!! What am I gonna tell Marge? (gets scared and gasps) Don't move! There's a snake on your butt!
:Candace: That's a tattoo.
:Homer: Why would you do that to your body?
:Candace: I thought you had one too.
:Homer: Those are stretch marks, young lady, I've had three children! I gotta call my wife!
:Candace: (angry) I thought you guys were separated!!
:Homer: (dressing his shirt back) I'm the king of man who never gives up hope! I own property in Detroit, Every Christmas I ask for size 36 pants and I still buy Beanie Babies!
----
:(Homer runs back to 742 Evergreen Terrace and finds Marge and the kids happy with Roger. Homer starts crying)
:Homer: Oh, I've lost everything! My wife! My family! (Lisa opens the door)
:Lisa: You didn't lose me, dad!
:Homer: (happy) Lisa?
:Lisa: You can never lose me, we share the same blood, the same... mixed feelings towards Bart! And you know I'll need support in my teenage war with mom!
:Homer: Oh-ho hoh, Lisa! (they laugh and hug each other)
:Lisa: Oh dad, (sighs) Dad!
:Homer: Oh, sweetie!
:Lisa: Nothing could ever come between us!
:Homer: We'll be together forever!
:Roger: (from inside the house) Lisa, where are you dear? I thought we'd get in a game of chess before we go pony shopping.
:Lisa: Gotta go! (gets back into the house)
:Homer: Lisa!!
:Lisa: I'll Skype you at Christmas!
:Homer: (screaming) Noooooooooo!
es:Every Man's Dream/Frases