PBS

PBS, short for "Please Buy Stuff" in honor of its frequent viewer-mooching pledge drives, is what passes for public television in the United States. Its programming includes many, many recycled programs from the BBC; Sesame Street; long-winded documentaries in which old photographs are slowly zoomed in upon while an actor reads excerpts from letters; and various programs about science, history, and current events. Aside from its quarterly attempts to hit viewers up for money, PBS exists to educate and enlighten audiences, providing them a clear and accurate view of modern and historical events. For this reason, it has earned the fear, loathing, and undying enmity of the Republican Party, and the mild disinterest of the American public.
PBS is also the nation's leading source of commemorative tote bags.