The Milkmaid

The twelfth track from Written in Salt, this is a Longest Johns Original. Though written primarily by Josh Bowker, the song's lyrics were fine-tuned and finished by the whole of the band in a collaborative effort. The lyrics tell the fictional story of a crew of rum smugglers who must scuttle their ship to avoid being caught by the authorities.
==Factoids==
The Milkmaid of the song was not based on or inspired by the 17th century smugglers' ship of the same name (and indeed, the details of the story, beyond it being a smuggler ship, do not match). Josh himself confirmed via ̶s̶e̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ phone call during the January 2023 livestream that he chose the name for the irony — a "milkmaid" bringing liquor instead of milk — and any resemblance to the historical ship is coincidence.
==Lyrics==
These lyrics are based on the version performed by the Longest Johns on their album, Written in Salt.
I love a woman and she loves me
(Heave away)
She belongs to the rolling sea
(Heave and haul away)
Though she's made me many a pound
(Heave away)
I had no choice but to cut her down
(Heave and haul away) [continues throughout]
{Chorus}
Cast her away, brave boys
We'll find another when we've been paid
But there'll never be another craft
Like the crafty old Milkmaid
She was crammed with a liquid gold
Never was a finer cargo stowed
Kegs and bottles all locked up tight
And another one to get us through the night
{Chorus}
We filled our pockets and we never got caught
And emptied them again at the nearest port
Find us a buyer and we'll find a way through
Leave it to the Maid and her fearless crew
{Chorus} 
Through the glass of a customs scum
We'll never let the king's men steal our rum
Scuttle the hull, kiss the Maid goodbye
I never thought I'd see the bos'n cry
{Chorus}
Now we're hiding in the tavern among the kegs
Drinking all day trying to wet our legs
Though our next ship might be strong and true
(We'll always be the Milkmaid's crew!)
{Chorus}
==Recordings==
====Streaming/Purchase====
*Amazon Music
*Apple Music/iTunes
*Bandcamp
*Deezer
*Pandora
*Spotify
====YouTube Videos====
*Written in Salt version
====Gig Videos====
*Falmouth International Sea Shanty Festival (2014)
*Bie Daip Festival, Appingedam (2016)
====Full Band Streams====
*Surviving the first month of 2019 with The Longest Johns!!! (New donation system) (30 Jan 2019)
*The Longest Johns and Friends, February Edition (New donation system) (27 Feb 2019)
*The Longest Johns Early Octobermas (2 Oct 2019)
*Album Launch Party! Cures What Ails Ya, Available June 10th (Preorder Now) (10 Jun 2020)
*(New Merch) I'm Goin' Off the Rails on a Crazy Stream (14 Oct 2020)
*Nightmare on Elm Stream (27 Oct 2020)
*Stream of Mushroom Soup (A day early to fit around touring) (23 Nov 2021)
*Do Androids Stream of Electric Sheep (3 Aug 2023)
====Gaming Streams====
*Shants on the sea! - 16/11/2020
Category:Songs
Category:Longest Johns Originals
Category:Written in Salt
Category:Josh_Songs
Category:Robbie Songs