Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (film)/Transcript

==Transcript==
FLINT: (V.O.) Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different? Like you had something unique to offer the world, if you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt... to be me.
TEACHER: Go ahead, Flint.
:Young Flint steps to the front and addresses the class.
YOUNG FLINT: (NERVOUSLY) What is the number one problem facing our community today? Untied shoelaces.
:The children, all with untied shoelaces, stare at him.
YOUNG FLINT: Which is why I’ve invented a laceless alternative foot covering, Spray-On Shoes.
:He sprays the can on his feet. The other kids look impressed.
KIDS: Wow! / Whoa!
FLINT: Voila!
YOUNG BRENT: How’re you gonna get ‘em off, nerd?
:The kids LAUGH as young Flint tugs and strains to take off the shoes, but they won’t come off.
YOUNG BRENT: (CONT’D)
What a geek! He wants to be smart,
but that’s lame! 
On Flint, flailing, upset. 
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - STREET - LATER
Flint runs down the empty street, crying in the rain.
FLINT: (V.O.) I wanted to run away that day... but you can’t run away from your own feet.
INT. FLINT’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Flint, SNIFFLING, tries to BITE his shoes off, but it does
nothing. Then he pulls out a SCREWDRIVER. It breaks in
half. SCISSORS bend around his foot. A CINDER BLOCK cracks
in half. These things are indestructible.
INTERCUT:
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
TIM, Flint’s gruff blue-collar dad, and FRAN, his warm
mother, approach the door. Fran gestures for Tim to speak.
TIM:
Uh... Not every sardine is meant to swim, son.
YOUNG FLINT: I don’t understand fishing
metaphors!
Flint flops on the bed.
TIM: (O.S.)
What did I say?
FRAN: (O.S.)
Don’t worry.
Fran opens the door.
FRAN: (CONT’D)
Honey, I think your shoes are
wonderful.
She enters and sits on the bed as Flint hides his face in his
pillow.
YOUNG FLINT:
Everyone just thinks I’m a weirdo.
Fran gestures to Flint’s wall of posters of great inventors:
Tesla, Farnsworth, Edison, etc.
FRAN:
So? People probably thought that
these guys were weirdos too! But
that never stopped them. (THEN) I
was saving this for your birthday,
but, here...
With a sly smile she holds up an adult-size LAB COAT.
YOUNG FLINT:
(GASPS) A professional-grade lab
coat. Just like the real guys
wear!
He puts it on. It’s way too big for him.
YOUNG FLINT: (CONT’D)
It fits perfect.
FRAN:
The world needs your originality,
Flint. You just have to grow into
it. And I know that you’re gonna
do big things someday.
Flint gives her a smile and hugs her, inspired.
CUT TO:
Flint draws a poster of himself in the lab coat with the
words “BEST INVENTOR EVER.” He slaps it on the wall.
Then he runs out of the house and up into his tree house lab
where he starts on a new project.
FLINT: (V.O.) From that moment on, I was determined to invent something great.
VIDEO DIARIES: We see Flint and some of his many inventions
through the years...
CHYRON: REMOTE CONTROL TV
YOUNG FLINT: Remote Control Television!
He pushes a button. The TV gets up and walks over to Tim on the couch, who clicks it on...
Then the TV quickly KICKS down the door and runs away amid
frightened pedestrians.
FLINT: (V.O.) Eventually.
CHYRON: HAIR UN-BALDER
TEEN FLINT: Hair unbalder!
Flint pours a hair tonic on Tim’s head. Hair POOFS out
suddenly, completely covering his face like a wolfman. Tim
and Flint SCREAM.
CHYRON: FLYING CAR
FLINT:
Flying car!
A car with rockets attached shoots off from the docks, but
dives straight down into the water.
CHYRON: MONKEY THOUGHT TRANSLATOR
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Monkey Thought Translator.
In his father’s tackle shop, Flint shows off STEVE, a vervet
monkey with a device strapped to his chest and head.
STEVE:
Hungry!
Hungry hungry hungry hungry!
FLINT:
How wise-- No, Steve! No,
no, no, no--
Steve goes on a rampage, knocking over shelves, scaring
customers, and pulling a chunk of Tim’s moustache off.
CHYRON: RAT-BIRDS
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Rat-birds. (TO RATBIRDS) Hey,
what’s going on, little guys--
RAT-BIRDS, half-rat, half-parrot, all-disturbing, escape from
a cage and terrorize the townspeople, including EARL, the
town cop.
We have a closeup of a world map.
FLINT: (V.O.) My dream was to help my home town, a tiny island hidden under the ‘A’ in Atlantic..called Swallow Falls. 
Scenes of the dreadful Swallow Falls and its inhabitant’s diet.
FLINT: (V.O.) We were famous for sardines, until the day the Baby Brent Sardine Cannery closed for good, right after everyone in the world realized that sardines are super gross. Soon, all of us were stuck eating the sardines that no one else wanted. Poached, fried, boiled, dried, candied, and juiced. Life became gray and flavorless. But when all seemed lost, I stared at defeat... and found hope.
TITLE CARD: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.
INT. FLINT’S LAB - DAY
We see a shadowy figure walking through an awesome,
futuristic lab full of glowing lights and machinery. This is
grown-up FLINT LOCKWOOD, still in his lab coat, still wearing
those spray-on shoes. He stops to look at the posters of
great inventors on a wall just like in his old bedroom 15
years ago.
FLINT: (V.O.)
My name is Flint Lockwood, and I
was about to invent a machine that
turns water... into food.
He turns into the light, dramatically.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Steve, my best friend and trusted
colleague!
Reveal STEVE, a VERVET MONKEY. His thought translator
contraption says:
STEVE:
Steve.
FLINT:
Can I count on your help?
Steve holds up a sardine can, offering.
STEVE:
Can.
FLINT:
I knew I could!
This initiates an AWESOME BUILDING MONTAGE! Exciting MUSIC!
Flint pushes a button.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Button on.
He starts a reel to reel recorder.
FLINT (CONT’D)
Memory activate.
He draws blueprints.
FLINT (CONT’D)
Blueprints... awesome!
He creates a contained NUCLEAR EXPLOSION.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Begin nano-mutation.
He lowers a disco ball into a microwave.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Radiation matrix secure.
He uses a computer mouse.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Computer, boot!
He paints sci-fi lines on the machine.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Coolness enhancement, complete!
Flint does a Hadouken pose.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Engage coffee break.
EXCITING MUSIC STOPS. Flint and Steve SIP COFFEE on a break.
Long beat, then...
MUSIC’S BACK! Flint plugs in two cords.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Networking power grid!
He then plugs many cords into many surge protectors and plugs - he has to take one out of Steve’s mouth - the last one into the finished machine, clearly made out of a
colander, microwave, blender and other kitchen appliance parts. But it
also looks kind of cool.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Beginning conversion of water into
food.
Flint pours water into the top.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Hydrating protein matrix.
He flips switches and turns knobs on the machine.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Calibrating flavor panel.
He tightens a screw on the bottom of the machine.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Priming Chow Plopper.
He types into his computer.
FLINT (CONT’D):
Uploading cool machine voice.
MACHINE:
Cheeseburger.
He flips on a switch and
FLINT:
Everyone is going to love this.
Flint waits hopefully as the Chow Plopper bulges bigger and
bigger... A cheeseburger-shaped CLOUD forms slowly above a
plate at the bottom, becoming more and more like a real
cheeseburger. It’s at 60%... 70%... 80%... 90%...
A HUGE SPARK shocks Flint!
FLINT: (CONT’D)
WAHAHAOOO!
Almost instantly, a power surge goes up through the cables
and out the lab. Power goes out.
INT. TIM’S LIVING ROOM - MORNING
Tim sits on the couch, reading the paper. All the appliances
EXPLODE at once. Black.
Far view of the house and lab.
TIM (O.S.): FLIIIIIINT!!!
FLINT (O.S).):
Sorry, Dad!
INT. FLINT’S LAB - CONTINUOUS
On his way out, Flint passes Steve, who bangs a pipe against
a metal bucket.
FLINT:
Steve, keep working.
HUMMING AN IMAGINARY SOUNDTRACK (the same as the full
orchestra one playing in the previous scene), Flint runs up
to a vault-like door and puts his hand up to a fake looking
scanner.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Scanning hand.
Making his own sound effects, he presses a button and the
door opens into a large empty hallway. Approaching the
doorway at the other end, Flint inputs the code on his Simon.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
(BEEPING NOISES)
After a few more of his own sound effects he opens the door
to the elevator and heads down.
EXT. FLINT’S LAB - CONTINUOUS
FLINT makes ELEVATOR NOISES as he heads down the pneumatic
tube elevator from the top of his lab to the ground. The
tube goes under the ground and then pops up inside a Port-A-Potty. Flint exits and runs over to the house while still
humming the imaginary soundtrack. Neighbor kids watch and
laugh, including CAL, 8.
CAL:
That’s a really weird dude.
INT. TIM’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Flint enters through the back door.
FLINT:
Reenergizing power unit. (SOUND
EFFECTS)
Flint opens the FUSE BOX. Twiddles... Lights go ON. Tim is
behind him, arms crossed. Flint turns and is surprised.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Yah! Jeez.
He backs into the fuse box and FALLS DOWN. He pops back up
and starts to leave, nervously.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
See you, dad.
EXT. TIM’S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
Flint goes back out towards his lab. Tim follows outside,
where Steve bangs on stuff.
TIM
Flint, um... er... don’t you think
it’s time to give up this inventing
thing and get a real job?
Fint stops.
FLINT:
No, why?
TIM:
Well, all your technology stuff, it
just ends in disaster.
FLINT:
The ratbirds, yes, they escaped and
bred at a surprising rate, but I
took care of that problem and
disposed of them.
Behind Flint, three RAT-BIRDS descend, pick up a neighbor
kid, and fly away with him, SCREAMING.
CAL:
Billy, just play dead!
TIM:
Flint, you don’t keep throwing your
net where there aren’t any fish.
FLINT:
What?
TIM:
I want you to work full time at the
tackle shop.
FLINT:
The tackle shop?! Aww, Dad, no!
TIM:
Tackle is a good career.
As Flint pleads with his dad, Steve climbs up on Tim’s
shoulder and reaches for his moustache. Tim’s uncomfortable.
FLINT:
Please, I’m so close with this one.
I just have to hook it up to the
power station and give it more
power and it’ll work, and then you
can sell food in the shop, and then
everyone won’t have to eat sardines
anymore. It is going to be so
awesome.
Tim removes Steve and DROPS him. Time to lay down the law.
TIM:
I’m sorry, son.
STEVE:
Ouch.
TIM:
No more inventing.
Tim turns to go inside.
FLINT:
Dad. I know I can do this. (THEN)
And Mom did too.
Tim freezes but doesn’t turn. Flint looks at him guiltily.
He knows he crossed the line.
FLINT: (V.O.) It had been almost ten years since mom died, and Dad still didn’t understand me like she did.
Flint tries to take back what he said.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Dad, I--
TIM:
Come on, let’s open the shop.
And he walks off.
EXT. TACKLE SHOP - DAY
Tim excitedly unveils an “AND SON's” sign added to “TIM’S
SARDINE BAIT & TACKLE”.
TIM:
Tim and Son Sardine Bait and
Tackle. You feelin’ it?
FLINT:
(TRYING) Mmm-hmm.
Tim walks in, happy, as he enters the store and Flint MOPES
and he follows him inside.
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - DAY
TV COMMERCIAL:
A cartoon baby tips over a wagon of sardines.
KID VOICES (V.O.)
Look out, Baby Brent!
BABY BRENT
Uh-oh!
TV ANNOUNCER #1: (V.O.)
Baby Brent Sardines.
TV ANNOUNCER #2: (V.O.)
Hand-packed in Swallow Fall--
The crude animation of the commercial freezes and the diminutive MAYOR
walks in front of the obvious blue screen frozen image.
MAYOR:
As your mayor, I know it's time to
put our sardine canning past behind
us. And look to the future:
Sardine Tourism!
A cheesy graphic: “TOURISM!” over four different crappy
shots of town.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
That’s why without consulting
anyone, I spent the entire town
budget on the thing that is under
this tarp. Which I will be
unveiling today at nooon!
Featuring a live appearance by Baby
Brent himself--!
Another cheesy graphic spins at camera: “NOON!”
INT. TACKLESHOP - DAY
Reveal we are watching the Mayor’s commercial on a TV in the
shop as Flint stacks Baby Brent Sardine cans listlessly. He
is not wearing his labcoat. There are a couple old-timers
(JOE TOWN and RUFUS) in the shop eating sardines, also
watching the TV. Flint sighs.
“BABY” BRENT enters. Flint’s longtime bully, and the town’s
only celebrity, Brent has let himself go. He’s overweight,
lazy, and wears a baby blue track suit with “BB” embroidered
on it. He has a lady on each arm.
BRENT:
What is up, everybody?
JOE TOWNE & RUFUS: Hey, it’s Baby Brent!
BRENT:
(TO FLINT) Whatcha doin’? Stacking
cans with me on ‘em as a baby? Uh oh!
He does the Baby Brent pose, knocking over some of the cans
Flint just stacked. The old timers love it, LAUGHING.
FLINT:
(ANNOYED) Hi Baby Brent.
BRENT:
(LAUGHS) Anyways, who wants to
watch me cut the ribbon at the
Mayor’s unveiling thing? I’ll be
using these bad boys to help save
the town.
He shows off a pair of huge golden scissors. Flint saddens slightly at his reflection. Joe Towne and
Rufus OOH.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
Boy-yo! (AS HE EXITS) Alright you
guys! Sardines! Yeah! Swallow
Falls Forever!
JOE TOWNE:
Oh, what a rascal.
Flint frowns as he watches Brent and his posse exit past the
window.
Tim approaches Flint from the back room as the Old-Timers
leave.
TIM:
Listen, you, uh... Maybe you wanna
go to that unveiling?
Flint thinks for a beat. Then:
FLINT:
(CASUAL) You know, Dad, why don’t
you go ahead. I’ll hold down the
fort here.
TIM:
(PLEASANTLY SURPRISED) Really? You
sure you can handle it?
FLINT:
Yeah, Dad, I’m pretty sure I’ll be
fine.
TIM:
Huh. Alright, then. I’ll be back
in half an hour, skipper.
FLINT:
Okay, byeeee.
Tim leaves. Flint looks around sneakily then runs away
HUMMING HIS SOUNDTRACK again. He grabs his lab coat on the
way out.
EXT. SARDINE CIRCLE - MOMENTS LATER
Backstage, the Mayor grabs the chain link fence, tense.
Brent sits behind him, eating sardines out of a tin.
MAYOR:
This hellhole’s too small for me,
Brent. I want to be big. I want people to look at me and
say, “That is one big mayor.”
And that’s why this has to work. It
has to work! Otherwise, I’m just a
tiny mayor of a tiny town full of
tiny sardine-sucking
knucklescrapers.
Brent’s knuckles are scraping the ground, mouth full of fish.
BRENT:
But not me, right?
MAYOR:
Oh, not you, Brent, no. You’ve
always been like a son to me.
The Mayor rolls his eyes, straightening his tie.
ON STAGE:
The Mayor bounds on stage and up to the microphone.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
(POSITIVE) Hey, hey everybody!
REVEAL there are less than 30 20 people there.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
Under this tarp is the greatest
tourist attraction ever built by
humans!
REVEAL Flint and Steve tiptoeing towards the power station,
carrying his machine.
FLINT:
It just needs seventeen thousand
more gigajoules. Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go!
Flint makes a break for it but is STOPPED immediately by
EARL, the local overzealous cop who plays by the rules. He hides
the machine behind his back.
EARL:
What are you doing, Flint Lockwood?
FLINT:
Just holding my hands behind my
back respectfully, sir.
EARL:
You know what you are, Flint
Lockwood?
FLINT:
No.
EARL:
A shenaniganizer! A tomfool! You
see my beautiful angel son, Cal?
Cal is there. And he brought his attitude.
CAL:
‘Sup.
EARL:
I love him so much. This is my
only son. I want him to have a
bright future. A future in which
you don’t ruin our town’s day with
one of your crazy science doodleybopper thingies.
FLINT:
Well, you know, that’s all behind
me--
EARL:
You see this contact lens, Flint
Lockwood?
He holds a contact lens.
FLINT:
Mm-hmm.
EARL:
This contact lens represent you.
FLINT:
Alright.
EARL:
And my eye represents my eye.
FLINT:
Okay.
He very deliberately puts the contact on his eye.
EARL:
I got my eye... on... you.
FLINT:
Oh, my gosh, a jaywalker.
EARL:
Hey!
Earl RUNS down the street and tackles the jaywalker. OOF!
ON THE MAYOR
MAYOR:
And I’ve arranged for live coverage
from a major network and their most
experienced professional reporter!
EXT. NEW YORK CITY
CHYRON: Yesterday
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR: (V.O.)
Oh, just send the intern.
INT. WEATHER NEWS NETWORK SET - YESTERDAY
A cute young intern, SAM SPARKS, delivers coffee to the crew
members on set. The PRODUCER and PRODUCTION COORDINATOR
stand in the foreground.
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR:
She’s cute and she’s super perky.
WNN PRODUCER:
Well, those are the only things we
look for in a TV weather person.
Intern! How would you like to do a
weather report from a rinky-dink
island in the middle of the ocean
as a favor to my cousin?
Sam, excited, drops her tray of coffees on the ground.
SAM:
Really?!
EXT. NEW YORK - DAY
Sam drives the weathervan, with her silent but adept
cameraman MANNY in the passenger seat.
SAM:
Can you believe it, Manny?
Temporary professional
meteorologist. Woo!
Manny holds the wheel as she gestures.
EXT. OCEAN - DAY
Sam and Manny are sitting in their van as it travels on a
ferry across the ocean.
SAM:
Okay, Manny what about this?
(PRACTICING) Welcome, America, I’m
Sam Sparks. Hello, America, Sam
Sparks here. America, hi, I didn’t
see you there. It’s me, Sam
Sparks. (THEN, EXCITED) On my way!
Across the ocean!
EXT. SARDINE CIRCLE - TODAY
AT THE POWER STATION, Flint creeps past DANGER! ELECTRICITY!
signs. The Mayor DRONES ON in the background.
MAYOR: (O.S.)
Now, when she gets here, I want to
see a lot of smiling faces...
Flint looks up at the huge, scary electrical tower.
FLINT
This is a great idea.
EXT. SARDINE CIRCLE - MOMENTS LATER
ON TV: The WNN logo.
WNN PRODUCER: (V.O.)
Weather news network. Weather news
happens... or not.
The well-coiffed WNN ANCHOR speaks to camera. INSET is Sam,
in front of the growing crowd at Swallow Falls’ town center.
WNN ANCHOR:
Now we’re over to Swallow
Falls where our intern is on
her first day on the job. Or
should I say first gray on
the job, looks pretty cloudy
there, intern?
SAM:
(WHISPERING UNDER
ANCHOR)
Hello, America, I’m Sam
Sparks. Hello, America, I’m
Sam Sparks.
Beat.
Sam is extremely nervous.
SAM:
Hello, Sam Sparks, I’m America.
It’s Swallow Falls degrees... and,
uh, let’s just go to the mayor.
She gestures to the mayor, who addresses the excited crowd.
MAYOR:
Thank you and welcome national
television audience!
AT THE POWER STATION, we sees QUICK CUTS of Flint connecting
lots of jumper cables together on the electrical tower.
We PAN UP to the top of the electrical tower over scary
zapping coils to find Flint at the very top STRUGGLING to
connect one last cable -- and he’s ELECTROCUTED and falls to
the ground.
FLINT:
YAHHH!!!
ON THE MAYOR.
MAYOR:
And now, here to cut the ceremonial
ribbon, Swallow Falls’ favorite
son, Baby Brent!
Brent walks on stage from behind a curtain and RIPS OFF his
tracksuit, revealing a DIAPER.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
He’s still got it, folks!
BRENT:
Yeah! Hahaha! I’m the best person
in the whole town!
The crowd APPLAUDS. He makes his SIGNATURE POSE, knocking
over a wagon of sardines, and the crowd goes nuts.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
Uh-oh!
BACK AT THE POWER STATION, we see run back to his machine.
He raises the jumper cables high, about to attach them...
FLINT:
Food synthesis go!
ON EARL in the crowd with his WIFE and son CAL. Suddenly he
jolts to attention. He looks down.
EARL:
My chest hairs are tingling.
Something’s wrong.
Earl acrobatically flips away toward the power station.
ON THE MAYOR.
MAYOR:
So here it is, the attraction the
whole world has been waiting for--
Sardine Land!
Brent cuts the ribbon with the giant scissors and the tarp
falls, revealing a tiny Sea World-like THEME PARK.
Applause.
ON THE ATTRACTIONS as each tarp falls.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
With rides! And exhibits! And
featuring Shamo, the world’s
largest sardine, and his flaming
hoop of glory!
Above a few stands and rides,SHAMO, while large for a sardine, is still dwarfed by his COLOSSAL FISH BOWL, with a ring of fire to jump through. Shamo does
not look excited about the ring of fire.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
Those of you in the Splash Zone,
look out!
ON JOE TOWNE in the front row of the bleachers, where ONE
SEAT is marked “SPLASH ZONE.”
JOE TOWNE:
Yeah!
ON EARL, doing OVERZEALOUS ACTION COP POSES. He sees Flint
and GASPS.
ON FLINT, who finally connects the cables to the machine.
MACHINE:
Cheeseburger.
It starts to power up and Flint looks excited.
EARL:
Flint Lockwood!
Flint turns and sees Earl running.
FLINT:
Uh, just a second! I’m in the
middle of a yaaaaah!
A SPARK sends the machine SHOOTING off horizontally like a
missile, with Flint dragged behind it, hanging on to jumper
cables for dear life.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaghgh!
ON MANNY AND SAM, broadcasting, unaware of the danger.
SAM: (ON TV)
Well, looks like things in Swallow
Falls are sardine to get better.
For--
WHAM! The machine knocks Manny’s camera into Sam, Flint
flies over. The lens smooshes right up against her face.
She looks ridiculous.
SAM: (CONT’D)
<*SMOOSHED FACE NOISES*>
INT. WNN STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
The Anchor looks at Sam’s smooshed face in shock.
WNN ANCHOR:
Aah!
EXT. SARDINE CIRCLE - DAY
Flint looks back as the machine rockets him away from Sam.
FLINT:
Aah, sorry!
The machine (and Flint) whips into Sardine Land, knocks
around out Shamo’s fish bowl scaffolding, and ricochets back.
And time SLOWS DOWN as the machine and Flint pass by Tim.
Tim SCOWLS. Oops.
Flint STRUGGLES to stop the machine by planting his feet,
waterskiing on his spray-on shoes, tearing up the sidewalk,
and is finally stopped by a STOP sign.
The machine breaks away from the jumper cables and shoots up,
disappearing into the sky. Flint looks up at the machine he
lost...
FLINT: (CONT’D)
No...
OOF!
And he’s tackled by Earl.
EARL:
You’re under arrest, Flint
Lockwood. Thank goodness you only
caused minimal damage to
Sardine Land.
But behind them, there’s a noise. They both look at Shamo’s
bowl scaffolding...
KRAAAAAAK! The scaffolding gives way, the bowl topples
over and SPLASHES its water everywhere but the Splash Zone.
JOE TOWNE:
Oh, come on!
The bowl starts to roll around the town like a giant wheel of
destruction.
ON THE SARDINE MUSEUM, which is SMASHED by the bowl.
ON THE VIRTUAL SARDINE EXPERIENCE. People lie down in it
like sardines as the lid is rolled up over them. The bowl
SMASHES into it.
ON THE MAYOR, as the bowl smashes into the stage and sends
him FLYING.
MAYOR:
Aaaaggh!
ON SHAMO, screaming inside the bowl.
ON THE CROWD, fleeing.
ON BRENT, running with the giant ceremonial scissors.
BRENT:
I really shouldn’t be running with
these!
Flint and Steve RUN as the bowl bears down on them, but they
aren’t fast enough and give up -- only to be saved when the
lip of the bowl rolls over them, leaving them unharmed.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
Run, run, run, jump, jump, run,
run, jump!
ON THE BOWL, as it continues on its path of destruction
through Sardine Circle and people run SCREAMING.
THE BOWL bounces through a parking lot, exploding a car which
propels the bowl up in the air and throws Shamo through the
flaming hoop and towards the ocean and freedom....
SHAMO:
(GURGLY) Yippee!
Then he’s immediately SNATCHED UP by a flying ratbird.
The bowl falls back to the ground, landing upside-down
on top of Flint and Steve, trapping them inside.
THROUGH THE GLASS BOWL, Flint sees all the destruction he
caused.
FLINT:
(DEFEATED) Ay papi.
Everyone glares at Flint. The Mayor. Brent. Cal and Earl.
All incredibly angry. And then there’s a disappointed Tim. Flint looks at his dad,
full of regret. Everyone turns their back on Flint, last of
all, Tim. Flint hits his head against the glass in despair.
Then... CRAAAACK! It sends a crack up to the top of the bowl
and the whole thing shatters. Everyone turns and GASPS.
Flint and Steve stare at the crowd, then quickly run away.
EXT. DOCKS - DAY
We find Flint, with Steve, hanging on the ladder at the end
of the docks, hiding underneath. He SIGHS. They both hear footsteps, and try to stay out of sight... It’s a gloomy looking Sam, who walks to the
end of the dock and SIGHS. She tosses her microphone ANGRILY
into the water. Then she PLOPS down, and her heels hit
Flint in the eyes.
FLINT: AAAAAAAAAAH
SAM:
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. Are
you okay? I didn’t get a chance to--
FLINT:
It’s okay. It’s just pain.
SAM:
Sorry, I am not myself today. My
whole career was ruined by some
crazy jerk riding a homemade
rocket.
Flint looks away suspiciously.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Wait a minute. (THEN) What is
going on with your feet?
FLINT:
Spray-on shoes. They, uh, don’t come
off.
She grabs his foot and yanks it toward her until he’s hanging
upside down.
SAM:
Cool! This could solve the untied
shoes epidemic. What are they made
of, some kind of elastic biopolymer adhesive?
Music plays as Flint gets all dreamy.
FLINT:
(SMITTEN) Yeah, exactly...
SAM:
(SUDDENLY NERVOUS) I mean...
(GIGGLES) Wow, they’re shiny.
(THEN) I’m Sam.
She lets go of his foot and his head slams into the ladder
again, causing him to YELP.
FLINT:
(IN LOVE) Flint.
STEVE:
Steve!
SAM:
(EXCITED AGAIN) Is that a monkey
thought translator?!
STEVE:
Steve.
SAM:
Ha! Incredible!
Flint is just staring at her enchanted, .We can barely make out Sam putting it all together.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Did you make all of
this stuff? (THEN, REALIZING) You
hit me with the rocket!
FLINT:
You kicked me in the face!
SAM:
I said I was sorry!...
SPLAT. Some yellow goop lands on the ladder. Steve licks it.
Flint SNIFFS it and is about to taste when ZING! A PICKLE
SLICE lands in the water. Sam notices none of this.
SAM (CONT’D)
Oh! Do you know how hard it is to
break into the weather game? I
spent my entire life building up to
that moment. You get one shot at
the show...
ZING! Behind Flint, something lands in a garbage can on the
docks, causing it to rattle. Flint gets up and walks to it.
SAM: (CONT’D)
(REALIZING SOMETHING’S AMISS)
...And if you don’t make it, it’s
back to cleaning the barometers...
Flint looks into the garbage can. There’s a SLICE OF CHEESE
inside. He reaches for it.
FLINT:
Cheese?
Suddenly a ratbird appears from the shadows of the can,
startling Flint. It snatches the cheese and flies away.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Aaaah!
Flint starts to piece it together.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
But that could only mean...
ROLLING THUNDER causes Flint to turn and look up at the sky.
Sam turns and reacts in the same way.
Steve does the same.
All over town, people turn to the sky and react.
Rufus takes off his hat, a woman takes off her glasses, Joe
Towne takes off his beard.
Back on the dock:
We finally reveal beautiful burger-shaped clouds dropping
perfectly-prepared cheeseburgers into the ocean and along the
dock. It’s RAINING CHEESEBURGERS!!!!
STEVE: Excited!
Excited!
Flint stares to the heavens and LAUGHS as beautiful burgers
float down all around them. A burger lands in his hand. He
takes a delicious bite.
FLINT:
My machine works... It really
wooooooorks!
Sam overhears and approaches.
SAM:
Your machine? Is that what that
rocket was?
FLINT:
(MOUTH FULL) Uh... Do you like it?
Sam also catches a burger and tucks in.
SAM:
(MOUTH FULL) I love it! (LAUGHS)
This is just amazing! Look at
this. This is the greatest weather
phenomenon in history!
Flint is happy. Then, he realizes:
FLINT:
(MOUTH FULL) Hey, aren’t you a
weather girl?
Sam’s jaw drops, and so does she her cheeseburger
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - SAME TIME
Sweeping shot over the town as burgers rain down.
SAM: (O.S.)
Manny, get your camera!
People slowly come out of hiding and start to enjoy the
delicious burgers. All except --
Tim, who stands inside the doorway of his shop and just
stares at the sky in disbelief.
Back in town, people CHEER!
INT. WNN NEWS DESK - MOMENTS LATER
The WNN Anchor touches his earpiece, getting a message from
his producer.
WNN ANCHOR:
This just in, our humiliated
weather intern is apparently back
for more.
EXT. SARDINE CIRCLE - CONTINUOUS
IN CAMERA: Burgers rain behind an excited Sam.
SAM:
Thanks, Patrick. Okay, everybody.
You are not gonna believe this one,
but I am standing in the middle of
a burger rain. You may have seen a
meteor shower, but you’ve never
seen a shower meatier than this.
On Flint, surveying the scene, as Sam continues behind him.
The town is going crazy with the burgers.
SAM: (CONT’D)
For a town stuck eating sardines,
this is totally manna from heaven.
JOE TOWNE:
This tastes significantly better
than sardines!
Cal shoves one into his mouth and ENJOYS IT. We see the
mayor steal burgers from people as he walks.
MAYOR:
This is gonna be big!
The mayor shoves three burgers into his mouth.
A crowd gathers to watch Sam’s report as they eat.
SAM: (ON TV)
This food-weather was created
intentionally by meekish backyard
tinkerer, Flint Lockwood.
Earl and everyone around him STOPS.
EARL:
Flint Lockwood?!
Everyone turns and looks at Flint.
FLINT:
Hi.
Earl jumps over to Flint and tackles him again. OOF!
The burgers STOP RAINING.
EARL:
You’re under arrest for ruining
Sardine Land.
But before he can cuff him... Sam runs up.
SAM:
Flint, those burgers were awesome!
The producer called and he was all
like (DEEP VOICE) “Everybody loves
that food weather.”
The Mayor approaches, excited.
MAYOR:
Food weather.
EARL:
What?
MAYOR:
This could be even bigger than
Sardine Land.
SAM:
Can you make it rain food again?
Please?
EARL:
No--
FLINT:
Well, I don’t really know if I--
Cal runs up.
CAL:
You’re gonna do it again?
EARL:
Oh, you gotta be kidding!
SAM:
Please please please please
please...
Flint looks at her. God, she’s adorable. His view is stuffed by onlookers.
FLINT:
Yes!
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. TIM’S LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Tim blocks the way to the port-a-potty.
TIM
No.
FLINT:
Dad, just give me one more chance.
TIM:
We both know this was an accident.
FLINT:
I know, but--
TIM:
Cheeseburgers from the sky, that’s
not natural.
FLINT:
My invention could save the whole
town. You would be so proud of me,
Dad. Plus, (WHISPERS) there’s a
girl here.
TIM:
(SIGHS) Can you look me in the eye
and tell me you’ve got this under
control, and it’s not gonna end up
in a disaster?
Tim raises his unibrow so that his eyes are visible.
FLINT:
(LOOKING AWAY) Yes?
Not good enough. Flint strains to look him in the eye, but
his eyeballs wander and twitch. Finally he gets his eyes on
his dad.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
(SUPER-FAST) I’vegotthisundeecontrolandit'snotgoingtoendupindisaster.
(WHEW)
Flint tries to catch his breath. Unibrow back down.
TIM:
Alright.
FLINT:
Thanks, Dad!
TIM:
Oh, sure.
Flint calls over to Sam.
FLINT:
Okay. So, Sam. (OPENS THE PORT-APOTTY DOOR) This is where the magic
happens.
Sam and Manny exchange a look.
INT. ELEVATOR - DAY
Sam, Flint, Steve, and Manny are inside, crammed together. Last, Steve licks Sam’s
microphone.
STEVE:
Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick.
This happens for a while.
INT. FLINT'S LAB - MOMENTS LATER
The curtain opens and they step into the MAIN CHAMBER. Sam
is a little weirded out.
LAB VOICE:
Welcome, Flint.
SAM: Wow. You seriously spend a lot of
time alone.
FLINT:
What? 
Flint shows Sam a diagram of the machine.
FLINT:
So here’s how it works: Water goes
in the top. and food comes out the
bottom.
SAM:
So when you shot it up into the
stratosphere, you figured it would
induce a molecular phase change in
the vapor from the cumulonimbus
layer?
FLINT:
That’s actually a really smart
observation.
SAM:
(SUDDENLY NERVOUS) I mean, the
clouds probably have water in them,
which I guess is why you shot it up
there in the first place.
FLINT:
(SUDDENLY NERVOUS) Right, right.
That’s why I did that...on purpose.
SAM:
Right, yeah.
FLINT:
Right.
Both LAUGH AWKWARDLY and Flint backs out of frame. Flint points to a diagram of water molecules forming into
hexagons from radiation waves.
FLINT:
The machine uses a principal of
hydro-genetic mutation. Water
molecules are bombarded with
microwave radiation, which mutates
their genetic recipe into any kind
of food you want.
SAM:
So, pizza?
FLINT:
Yes.
SAM:
Mashed potatoes?
FLINT:
Yes.
SAM:
Peas?
FLINT:
Yes, that’s also a food.
SAM:
Steak?
FLINT:
Yes.
SAM:
Apples?
FLINT:
Mmm-hmm
SAM:
Applesauce?
FLINT:
Yes.
SAM:
Can it do a B.L.T.?!
.
FLINT:
(KINDLY) I’m pretty sure I said any
kind of food.
SAM::
Chicken wings?!
FLINT:
Okay, well, just think about what
you’re saying and if it’s a food,
then yes it can.
SAM::
Baloney?
FLINT:
Baloney! That is a food.
Sam gets a dreamy look in her eyes.
SAM:
Ooh... How about Jell-O?
FLINT:
(FLIRTS BADLY) Do you like Jell-O?
SAM:
I love Jell-O.
FLINT:
[excited] I love Jell-O too! And peanut
butter, right?
SAM:
Oh, no, no. I am severely allergic
to peanuts.
FLINT:
(LYING) Yeah, me too!
SAM:
So what’s it called?
FLINT:
Peanut allergy.
SAM:
No, the machine.
FLINT:
Of course. It’s called the Flint
Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating
Dynamic Food Replicator.
Or, for short: (DRAMATIC TURN) the
FLDSMDFR.
SAM:
Fldsmdndffursur?
FLINT:
(DRAMATIC TURN) FLDSMDFR.
SAM:
Fldsmdndffursur?
FLINT:
(POINTING AT THE LETTERS) FLD. SM.
DFR.
SAM:
Oh. (THEN) Manny, make sure you get
this, he’s going to make the food
now.
FLINT:
Uh, now? (CAUGHT) Well, the thing
is, I can’t... (GETS IDEA) wait to
show you this hilarious internet
video!
Flint clicks his mouse and distracts Sam with a YouTube video
-- A CUTE CAT DJ playing “Fight the Power.”
SAM:
What? What is this...? (LAUGHING)
It’s so cute...
As Sam watches, laughing, Flint - rigs a
remote control system using a SATELLITE DISH and a bunch of
wires.
FLINT:
(WHISPERING) Pushing. Folding.
Connecting. Taping. Turning.
Painting. Switching. Staring.
Motivating. Placing button.
He sets up a RED “SEND” BUTTON, and re-boots the computer.
Sam’s still laughing.
SAM:
I can’t believe I’ve been watching
this for three hours!
FLINT: I know! (Laughs)
Flint types at his computer. Sam comes over, still laughing.
Flint finishes his typing and the central screen now reads
“ENTER FOOD CODE:”
FLINT:
(SOTTO) It’s working. (THEN) What
do you guys want for breakfast?
Steve pops into frame.
STEVE:
Gummi Bears.
FLINT:
Whoa, Steve, no! We both know how
you get around Gummi Bears.
Sam began to think.
SAM:
How about... eggs?
FLINT:
And toast?
SAM:
Orange juice.
FLINT & SAM:
And bacon!
Flint very subtly leans in and closes his eyes, thinking he
might get a kiss.
SAM:
[confused] What are you doing?
FLINT:
Nothing. (THEN) To the computer!
Flint types the food code into the computer.
SAM: So, you’re sure this is safe?
FLINT: Don’t worry. I have a Dangeometer that lets us know if the food is going to over-mutate.
REVEAL a “DANGEOMETER” GAUGE with a needle safely in the
green. Pay no attention to the yellow or red. That won’t
come back later.
SAM: Ooh, what happens if the food overmutates?
FLINT: I dunno, but that’ll never happen. All right. This probably won’t explode.
SAM: What?
Flint pushes the RED SEND BUTTON. WE TRAVEL past the button
to the Dangeometer, along wires to the satellite dish which sends the signal up
into the--
EXT. STRATOSPHERE - CONTINUOUS
Where the machine floats peacefully. An 8-bit graphic of an
bacon strip pops onto the VIEW SCREEN.
MACHINE VOICE:
Bacon.
We ZOOM inside the machine to see the water molecules re-forming
into little molecular bacon strips.
INT. WEATHERMAP - DAY
Sam stands in front of a map with food-weather symbols.
SAM: (ON TV)
Well, those cheeseburgers were only
the beginning, because a breakfast
system is on its way to Swallow
Falls. My forecast: sunny... side
up.
MONTAGE MUSIC CUE: SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS by Lesley Gore.
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - DAY
CLOUD’S EYE VIEW of Breakfast raining on Swallow Falls.
QUICK CUTS:
Joe Towne leaves the tackle shop to catch SUNNY SIDE UP EGGS.
A woman catches PANCAKES on a plate while she drives to work.
.
A little girl tilts orange juice caught in an upside-down
umbrella into the mouth of a gurgling little boy.
The Mayor rips open a storm drain on the side of a building
and bacon pours into his mouth.
Ratbirds snack on breakfast foods on a powerline.
Flint watches happy breakfast eaters. The mayor walks up,
covered in bacon.
MAYOR:
Flint, my boy, can you do lunch?
EXT. CITY HALL - LUNCHTIME
It’s now raining sandwiches. The Mayor is eating and pacing.
Brent holds up flashcards to illustrate the Mayor’s points,
kind of like Bob Dylan, but not really.
MAYOR:
Alright, here’s the skinny. You
keep making it rain the snackadoos,
weather girl provides free
advertising, I have taken out a
very high interest loan to convert
this po-dunk town into a tourist
foodtopia. All you have to do is
make it rain food three meals a
day, every day, for the forseeable
future, and in thirty days, we hold
a grand reopening of the island as
a must-see cruise destination, and
everyone everywhere is going to
love your invention.
He has a flashcard of people throwing up a stick-figure Flint who
has a big smile and hearts all around him.
FLINT:
You think so?
The Mayor takes this opportunity to eat the sandwich out of
Flint’s hands.
MAYOR:
(MOUTH FULL) I know so.
INT. FLINT’S LAB - DAY
Flint types the menu into his computer and SLAPS the button.
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - VARIOUS
Now it’s raining checking legs. A woman catches a turkey
leg on her way to work.
SAM:
Now that’s what I call poultry in
motion.
QUICK SHOTS
The Mayor munches on a ham hock as he points offscreen.
The “FALLS” in the “SWALLOW FALLS” sign on the cannery is
detonated and replaced with “CHEWAND” so that it now reads “CHEWANDSWALLOW.”
The buildings get facelifts: “Gas Station” becomes “Anti-Gas
Tablets.” Stores become “Nothing but Floss”, “Bibs,” Apple but with a Chicken leg as its symbol and the “International House of Cumin"
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - DAY
In JUMP CUTS, to camera:
KID #1:
Mr. Lockwood, may I please have
waffles?
WOMAN #1:
Falafels.
KID #2:
Jelly beans.
RUFUS:
Avocado!
Flint writes down their requests.
FLINT:
Coming right up!
INT. - FLINT’S LAB
Flint types on the food at hyper speed. He presses the signal button, and the dial on the Dangeometer moves up
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - DAY
Sam reports in front of piles of food on the ground.
SAM:
Leftovers? Not a problem with
Flint Lockwood’s latest invention,
the Outtasighter. So named because
it catapults uneaten food out of
sight, and therefore, out of mind.
Flint and Steve are inside a fantastical contraption. Its
huge fork and spoon arms SCRAPE leftovers onto the giant
plate, which drops it into the bowl in the back. He pulls the
lever and the bowl CATAPULTS the food way into the distance.
QUICK SHOTS
The Baby Brent Sardines billboard is replaced with one for
“Flint Lockwood Brand Napkins.” Brent GASPS in horror.
People eat from mouth funnels, and we see the mouth funnels
store in the background.
A RAINBOW OF JELLYBEANS rains into the open mouths of waiting
kids.
KIDS & CAL:
Jellybeans! / Awesome!
Throughout, people keep ordering more food and the music gets
faster and faster.
MAN #1:
Pizza!
MAN #2:
Donuts!
We follow a DONUT that falls from the sky and into Cal’s
mouth.
WOMAN #2:
Pie!
STEVE:
Gummi bears!
Flint gives him a stern look.
MAN #3:
Fish!
RATBIRD:
<*SQUAWK*.
PEOPLE:
(DEMANDING FOOD WALLA) Pizza /
bologna / I want/ gimme/ more/ come
on! / etc...
Suddenly the MUSIC completely CUTS OUT.
ON THE MAYOR, who is now really FAT.
MAYOR:
A pizza, 
stuffed inside a turkey,
the whole thing deep fried and
dipped in chocolate. (BEAT) It’s
me, the Mayor.
FLINT:
Oh... uh, you look different. Did
you get a new... haircut?
MAYOR:
Yes, I did. Thank you for
noticing.
The music comes back in.
ON FLINT TYPING.
ON MORE FOOD FALLING.
The Foodster RATTLES and SHAKES with overuse.
MACHINE VOICE:
(FOOD WALLA)
EXT. TACKLE SHOP - DAY
Across the street from his dad’s shop, Flint looks on.
Fathers and sos walk past the shop window, laughing and eating the
falling food...
Inside, the shop is completely quiet and empty. Tim stands
at the counter, alone.
INT. TACKLESHOP - DAY
Tim changes a sign from “SARDINES 10% OFF” to “SARDINES 100%
OFF.” Flint enters.
FLINT:
Hey Dad. I’m headed back the lab.
If you wanna come I could show you
how I make the food...
Tim hides the sign.
TIM:
Eh, no thanks. That techno-food.
It-it’s too complicated for an old
fisherman.
FLINT:
Got it.
Flint turns to leave.
TIM:
Could still use your help around
here, though, you know.
FLINT:
I’m working with the mayor now,
Dad. I mean, the town’s grand
reopening is in, like, a week.
TIM:
Right. Got it.
Flint leaves.
INT. FLINT’S LAB - MOMENTS LATER
Flint adjusts the angle of the satellite.
SFX: DOORBELL.
It’s Earl talking into the camera
EARL:
(OVER INTERCOM) Flint Lockwood!
EXT. TIM’S BACKYARD - NIGHT
Earl stands outside the PORT-A-POTTY, hat in hand. A hatch
opens on the side of the lab, and Flint sticks his head out.
FLINT:
Yeah?
EARL:
Uh, it’s my son Cal’s birthday
tomorrow and I was just wondering
if you could make it rain something
special.
FLINT:
Well, I’m pretty backed up on
requests. Plus, you’re always mean
to me.
EARL:
It’d be just one time. For my
special angel’s special day.
FLINT:
Uh, I don’t know. You know, I don’t
want to overwork the machine, so...
EARL:
Okay. I knew it was a long shot...
I just wanted Cal to see how much
his father loves him. I thought
you would understand. You know how
fathers are always trying to
express their love and appreciation
for their sons.
This hits Flint hard.
FLINT:
Earl, wait.
Flint closes the hatch, runs over to the Dangeometer and sees
it’s almost into the yellow. Uh oh! Wait-- he taps it and
the needle moves barely back into the green.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Phew.
Then Flint runs off. Steve taps it again, and it moves back a bit into the yellow.
FLINT:
I’ve got an idea.
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - FIRST LIGHT
A rat bird perched on a wire COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOS.
INT. CAL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Cal wakes up and rushes to the window. It’s snowing...
beautiful, colored snowflakes. And there are balls of the stuff on every house. Could it be?
CAL:
Whoa!
REVEAL Earl and his wife, REGINA, watching proudly from the
door.
EARL:
Happy Birthday, son.
CAL:
Dad...?
EARL:
This is your day. Go have fun.
Cal rushes down the hallway...
CAL:
I love you guys! You’re awesome!
EARL:
I love you, too, son!
REGINA:
Have a good time, baby!
Cal opens the door and out into--
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS, SUBURBS - CONTINUOUS
A GLORIOUS LANDSCAPE covered with 31 different flavors of ICE
CREAM. Cal and every kid in town burst out of their houses.
KIDS:
ICE CREEEEEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cal leaps headfirst into the snow and makes a face-down snow angel, MUNCHING ice cream.
CAL:
Yeah! Cool! 
ON A NEAPOLITAN ICE CREAM FIELD, where chocolate and vanilla
are covered with kids. One WEIRD KID runs into the
strawberry.
WEIRD KID:
Strawberry’s my favorite!
ON KIDS finishing a SNOWMAN, DEVOURING IT, then repeating.
ON THE BOWL OF THE OUTTASIGHTER, where kids have climbed in.
The plate drops scooped-up ice cream into their mouths and
then catapults both ice cream and kids into the distance. Hopefully nothing happens to them.
KIDS:
Yeaaaahh!
ON EARL AND CAL, on their roof, getting on a sled.
CAL:
C’mon, Dad.
EARL:
I don’t know, Cal. This doesn’t
look SAAAAAAAAAA-
Too late. Cal pushes off and they swoosh down into an open
DUMPSTER full of ice cream. They LAUGH.
EARL :(CONT’D)
I love you, son.
CAL:
I know, dad. You tell me every
day.
ON FLINT, watching them with envy. He SIGHS. Sam
approaches.
SAM:
Flint this is amazing! And
designing the ice cream to
accumulate into scoops? I don’t
know how you’re gonna top this!
FLINT:
Maybe with hot fudge?
He LAUGHS awkwardly. She doesn’t. Then, Cal and a bunch of
kids call from afar.
CAL:
Hey Flint, you wanna be in a
snowball fight with us?
Flint steps back, afraid.
SAM:
Flint, what’s the problem?
FLINT:
I-I’ve never actually been in a
snowball fight.
SAM:
Really?
FLINT:
I don’t even know the rules. Is
there like a point system, or is
it... to the death?
SAM:
No-- You’ve never-- I mean look,
even Steve is throwing chocolate
snowballs.
Steve THROWS what look like chocolate snowballs. A beat as
Flint and Sam look on uncomfortably.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Oh.
FLINT:
Hmm.
SAM:
Yech.
FLINT:
(PICKS UP SNOW) So, like this?
He throws a snowball, weakly.
SAM:
No, harder than that.
FLINT:
(REALIZING) Oh
He starts throwing snowballs as hard as he can.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Snowball! Snowball! Snowball!
He pelts Cal, an old man, and a child, knocking them over.
SAM:
Well, there’s something to be said
for enthusiasm.
Sam watches, happy for Flint, as he joyfully wails on
different members of the town.
FLINT:
Snowball! Snowball! Snowball!
INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Flint runs into a house and nails a dad reading the paper...
FLINT:
Snowball!
...and his little girl and boy in a bedroom.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Snowball, and snowball!
KIDS’ MOM: (O.S.)
Kids? What’s going on?
He snowballs the wife.
FLINT:
Snowball!
Flint runs back out into the street, chased by the kids.
KIDS:
Snowball! Snowball!
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - DAY
Still at snow day, Sam reports.
SAM:
I scream, you scream, we all scream
for Flint Lockwood’s latest tasty
town-wide treat, with flurries of
frozen fun on what the mayor
declared to be an ice cream snow
day.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY, TIMES SQUARE - CONTINUOUS
On the JUMBOTRON, Sam continues her report.
SAM:
He’d also like invite everyone in
the world to catch a cruise liner
and come on down this Saturday for
the grand opening of
Chew and swallow, a town that is
truly a la mode...
PARIS: People watch Sam on a TV at the Eiffel Tower.
FRENCH VOICE:
(DUBBED FRENCH) ...a town that is
truly... a la mode...
CAIRO: People watch Sam in front of the PYRAMIDS.
EGYPTIAN VOICE:
(DUBBED ARABIC) ...a town that is
truly... a la mode...
LONDON: Crowds watch Sam in front of BIG BEN.
BRITISH VOICE:
(DUBBED BRITISH ACCENT) ...a town
that is truly... topped with ice
cream.
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - DAY
Sam continues to report, as everyone has fun.
SAM:
...with today's scoop for the
Weather News Network, I'm Sam
Sparks!
We can hear Cal in the distance.
CAL:
Flint, this is the best breakfast
ever!
INT. FLINT’S LAB - NIGHT
Flint is sitting on his bed, tapping his foot, thinking HARD.
Then he brightens up with a genius smile and points upward. Eureka!
FLINT:
(GASP) That’s it!
QUICK CUTS:
Flint on his computer “HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS”; Flint in a
romantic scene with Steve in a blonde wig making the monkey
“oo oo” mouth; Standing by the button-pusher which pushes a
button; holding the phone nervously, staring at a notepad.
Lots of crumpled pieces of paper are around.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Researching! Role-playing!
Dialing! Waiting!
INTECUT WITH:
INT. WEATHERVAN - CONTINUOUS
Sam answers her phone.
SAM:
Sam Sparks.
FLINT:
HANGING UP!
Flint slams the phone down.
MORE QUICK CUTS:
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Regretting! Re-Psyching! Saying
what I’m doing!
SAM:
(ANSWERS PHONE) Flint?
FLINT:
(READING, INTO PHONE) Hi Sam how
are you that’s nice I was wondering
if you would like to go on a d...
activity with me tomorrow?
SAM:
(INTO PHONE) Um, okay.
FLINT:
Great bye meet me in the forest!
(HANGS UP) Nailed it.
He walks out of the lab excitedly.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Gotta go, Steve. Keep an eye on
the lab for me!
Unseen by Flint, Steve sits by the Dangeometer, which is in
the yellow. He smashes an ice cream cone on his head.
STEVE:
Steve.
EXT. BETREED GRASSY MOUND - DAY
Flint and Sam walk along a grassy hill. Behind them,
unnoticed, the WALKING TV runs by.
SAM:
Where are we going?
FLINT:
Oh, nowhere, I just thought it’d be
nice for the two of us to... go on
a walk together. Like you do... as
friends. (FAKE) Oh my, what’s that?
Sam stops in her tracks.
SAM:
Wow!
REVEAL an enormous yellow/orange JELL-O MOLD, refracting the
setting sun like a stained-glass castle. It’s breathtaking.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Oh, Jell-O’s my favorite.
FLINT:
You never made a request, so, 
I made one for you.
Flint disappears into the Jell-O. Sam looks confused.
SAM:
Flint? Flint?
FLINT: (O.S.)
Join me.
His arm pokes out of the Jell-O. He PULLS her inside.
SAM:
Whoa!
INT. JELL-O MOLD, BALLROOM - CONTINUOUS
Once inside, she tries to gain her balance on the
squishy Jell-O floor, then realizes she’s in a beautiful Jell-O cathedral.
SAM:
(AMAZED) Who-oooa. But, how did
you...?
FLINT:
Oh, I just made it rain Jell-0 in
the middle of the night, then I
gathered it all up with the
Outtasighter before everyone woke
up and then I brought it here and
pressed it into a gigantic custom carved plastic tupperware mold I
made. No big deal.
Flint is playing a Jell-O piano.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Everything’s made of Jell-O. This
piano, those sconces, that ghetto
blaster, that Jell-O, that
aquarium, that Venus de Milo with
your face on it next to a
Michelangelo’s David that also has
your face.
Sam gives a weirded-out look. Flint does several high
vertical bounces.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Come on, Sam, what are you waiting
for?
She looks at the EXIT sign. What will she do?
SAM:
Nothing!
She suddenly does a bunch of fast little manic jumps.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Woooo! Yeahhhhhhhh!!! 
MUSIC PLAYS AS --
Flint and Sam bounce around the room like crazy.
Sam pushes Flint down the Jell-O stairs and he laughs and
bounces.
ON MICHELANGELO’S DAVID. They both fly in and take bites out of it.
Both jump in and out of frame making goofy poses.
Sam jumps off the balcony onto a diving board, then lands in
a Jell-O SWIMMING POOL.]
SAM:
Cannonball!!!
FLINT:
(RIGHT BEHIND HER) Bellyflop!
He smacks on the surface. 
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Why did I do that?
INT. JELL-O MOLD, CUPOLA ATTIC - LATER
Sam and Flint watch the sun set through the refracted light
of the Jell-O wall. Long beat as Flint is nervous.
SAM:
So, Jell-O.
FLINT:
Right, right, right.
SAM:
It’s a solid, it’s a liquid, it’s a
visco-elastic polymer made of
polypeptide chains but you eat it--
(CATCHES HERSELF) I mean... it
tastes good. (GIGGLES)
FLINT:
(CONFUSED) Why do you do that?
SAM:
Do what?
FLINT:
Say something super smart, and then
bail from it?
SAM:
Can you keep a secret?
FLINT:
No. (OFF LOOK) But this time, sure.
Yeah.
SAM:
Okay, well, it was a really long
time ago, but I too was... a nerd.
FLINT:
Too?
SAM: When I was a little girl, I wore a
ponytail, I had glasses, and I was
totally obsessed with the science
of weather. 
START FLASHBACKS: Young Sam (glasses, ponytail) in her
bedroom staring at a poster of a Doppler.
SAM (V.O): Other girls wanted a
Barbie, I wanted a Doppler Weather
Radar 2000 Turbo. But all the kids
used to taunt me with this lame
song. It wasn’t even clever!
Flint tries not to laugh at “glasses to see.”
FLINT:
(STIFLES LAUGH, THEN, OFF HER LOOK)
Go on.
Sam looks annoyed. Then she continues.
SAM:
So I got a new look, gave up the
sciency smart stuff, and I was
never made fun of again. [holds up her glasses] And I
still need these glasses, but I
never wear them.
FLINT:
I’ll bet you look great with
glasses on.
SAM:
Oh, I’m really not--
He grabs her glasses and starts to put them on her.
FLINT:
And on they go.
SAM’S P.O.V. -- as her glasses go on, a blurry handsome guy
becomes a sharply in-focus, nerdy Flint.
SAM:
Whoa!
FLINT:
What?
SAM:
Nothing.
FLINT:
Wait.
He quickly scoops up some Jell and molds it.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
It’s a Jell-O scrunchie.
He puts her hair up in a ponytail.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
And now, the reveal.
Her MAKE-UNDER complete, he gazes at the new nerdy Sam.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Wow. I mean, you were okay before,
but now... you’re beautiful.
SAM:
No, I’m not. I can’t go on out in
public like this.
FLINT:
Well, why not? I mean, this is the
real you, right? Smart,
bespectacled... who wouldn’t want
to see that?
SAM:
(CHARMED) You know, I’ve never met
anyone like you, Flint Lockwood.
FLINT:
(CHARMED) Me either. But about
you.
Sam closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss. Flint stares at
her nervously. He closes his eyes, puckers, then puffs his cheeks out in an
I’ve-never-kissed-a-girl way. They’re mere inches away when--
Flint’s cell PHONE RINGS -- it’s his voice singing:
SAM:
Is your phone ringing?
FLINT:
That’s weird. Someone must have
changed my ring. (LOOKS AT PHONE)
Oh, it’s the mayor. Do you mind if
I take this?
SAM:
No, no, no. Go ahead, take
it. That’s fine, really. I
should be going too, it’s
getting late.
FLINT
(COVERS PHONE) I’m so sorry.
It’s just really important.
I’m just going to step
outside real quick.
He walks through the wall and FALLS. Sam cringes as he lands
with an OOF.
EXT./INT. ROOFLESS RESTAURANT - NIGHT
OMINOUS LOOKING CLOUDS. CRANE DOWN to reveal the facade of
the Bibs store. Tim waits there for Flint, wearing a TIE,
clearly uncomfortable.
Flint runs in, very excited.
FLINT:
Dad, you came! I had the best day
I have so much to tell you!
TIM:
Do I look alright?
FLINT:
You look great, come on let’s go!
Flint drags him off.
EXT. THE ROOFLESS RESTAURANT - MOMENTS LATER
The Roofless, a fancy restaurant with a crowd WAITING. Brent
is in line at the velvet rope.
FLINT:
Oh, it was so cool, I almost kissed
a girl-- (GREETING PEOPLE) Hey.
How’s it going?
Brent argues with the BOUNCER.
BRENT:
It’s Baby Brent. You know? “Uh oh!” I should be on the list!
Flint and Tim go straight to the front.
FLINT:
Hey, Brian.
The Bouncer lets them ENTER. Brent watches, horrified.
BRENT:
(NEAR TEARS) WHAAAT?!?! You’re
letting that guy in? That guy’s a
nerd!!
The door closes in Brent’s face.
INT. THE ROOFLESS RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS
It is raining steaks. There is no ceiling.
TOWNSPERSON:
Hey, Flint Lockwood!
FLINT:
Oh, thank you. Thanks so much.
JOE TOWNE:
A toast! To Flint and his
delicious steaks.
FLINT:
Oh, thanks. Thank you. Oh, wow.
TIM:
(UNCOMFORTABLE) Very nice place.
WAITER:
Salt, pepper. Pepper, salt.
EARL:
Flint Lockwood!
Earl puts out a fist for Flint to hit, and he slaps it 5.
FLINT:
Earl!
As Flint and Tim sit down at their table, Tim notices the
absence of any ceiling. 
TIM:
So, no roof?
FLINT:
Yup. You just hold out your plate.
And I even made it rain your favorite: meat.
Tim looks around the room as -- large
steaks hit the tables all around them, rattling silverware.
Everyone else enjoys it, but Tim is a bit freaked out.
FLINT: Okay. So, you know how the grand
reopening of the town is tomorrow?
Well, the mayor has asked me 
to cut the ribbon. He said my invention saved the town! Aren’t you proud of me?!
Tim looks torn. Then-- SLAM! A large steak lands Tim’s
plate, STARTLING him. He looks down at it. He looks at
Flint, who’s still celebrating, arms in the air, and doesn’t
want to have to burst Flint’s balloon.
TIM:
Well... Doesn’t this steak look a
little big to you?
FLINT:
Yeah, it’s a big steak. I mean, Every
steak is not exactly the same size.
Did you even hear what I just said?
WHAM! Another big steak lands between them, knocking their
glassware off the table.
TIM:
Son, look around. I’m not sure
this is good for people. Maybe you
should think about turning this
thing off.
FLINT:
It’s making everybody happy.
Everybody except you. 
When are you gonna accept that this is who I am 
instead of trying to get me to work in some 
boring tackle shop?
Flint gets HIT on the head by a steak.
TIM:
Well, you seem like you know what you’re doing, then. I guess I’ll
just get out of your way.
Tim heads off. The steak falls off Flint’s head.
EXT. TIM’S TACKLESHOP - LATER
CLOSE ON a fish being ground up into chum.
REVEAL Tim, alone, working the chum grinder. He pauses to
SIGH, then continues grinding.
EXT. TIM’S TACKLESHOP - SAME
Hot dogs rain down. One hits the “And Son” Tim tacked onto
the tackle shop sign and knocks it to the ground.
EXT. STREET - EVENING
Flint walks down the street, muttering.
FLINT: Get with the times, man. I mean, 
there’s no pleasing that guy. He
just wants to take anything good I
do and just smoosh it-- AAAAAAHH!
A THREE-FOOT LONG HOT DOG plops down in front of Flint. He
looks around to see several other large hot dogs around his
neighborhood, including his dad’s yard, which is full of
hotdogs.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
These are big hot dogs.
He looks up to the clouds, grave.
INT. FLINT’S LAB - MOMENTS LATER
Flint looks at a scanner with a huge HOT DOG in it.
FLINT:
Oh, man. (DEEP BREATH) I mean, this
isn’t that bad, is it, Steve?
Steve has smeared mustard on his face and hands.
STEVE:
Yellow.
Flint goes over to the Dangometer which is in the yellow.
FLINT:
You’re right, Steve. The
Dangometer is in the yellow. I
don’t know what to do.
He hears a WHIRRING SOUND and turns to see...
MAYOR:
I do... declare these hot dogs to
be delicious!
The Mayor, now GROTESQUELY FAT, riding in from the shadows on
a RASCAL SCOOTER and munching on a HOT DOG piled with ICE CREAM and DONUTS.
FLINT:
Waahh!!! Oh no!
Steve runs away.
FLINT:
How did you get in here?
MAYOR:
Tomorrow’s the big day, Flint. The
entire town’s fate is resting on
your food-weather! I’m thinking
pasta. Some light apps. I know
you won’t let us down.
He wheels back into the shadows, still staring at him.
FLINT:
Well, Mr. Mayor, I think there’s
something you should see.
The mayor returns.
MAYOR:
WHAT?
Flint leads the mayor over to the scanner, and pulls up a
display of a stable group of atoms forming a hot dog molecule on the computer monitor.
FLINT:
This is the molecular structure of
a hot dog that fell last week. And
this is the molecular structure of
a hot dog that fell today.
He pushes a button, revealing a very scary looking rapidly
moving group of molecules.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
The machine uses microwave radiation to mutate the genetic recipe of the food. 
The more we ask it to make, the more clouds it takes in, 
the more radiation it emits, the more these food molecules could over-mutate. 
I think that’s why the food is getting bigger.
MAYOR:
Here’s what I heard: blah blah
blah, science science science, bigger. And bigger is better.
Everyone’s gonna love these new
portion sizes.
He shoves the entire hot dog in his mouth and swallows it.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
(MOUTH FULL) I know I do.
Flint looks over to the button, unsure.
FLINT:
My dad thinks I should turn it
off...
MAYOR:
Geniuses like us are never
understood by their fathers, Flint.
FLINT:
But what if things go--
The Mayor starts circling Flint.
MAYOR:
Who needs the approval of one
family member when you can have it
from millions of acquaintances?
Not to mention that little cutlet
Sam Sparks... and me? I’ve always
felt you were like a son to me,
Flint. And I’m going to be so
proud of you tomorrow when you cut
that ribbon, save the town, and
prove to everybody what a great
inventor you are. So here’s the
cheese: You can keep it going, get
everything you’ve ever wanted, and
be the great man I know you can be.
Or, you can turn it off, ruin
everything, and no one will ever
like you. It’s your choice...
Tight on Flint’s eyes thinks about this. The word ‘choice’
echoes in his mind -- except not really.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
(WHISPERING) Choice, choice,
choice...
FLINT:
(DEEP BREATH) Okay...
IN THE REFLECTION OF THE MONITOR: Flint approaches, and the
Mayor looks over Flint’s shoulder creepily as he types in the code.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
I mean, bigger is better, right?
MAYOR:
Oh yeah.
Flint SLAPS the BUTTON. BOOM! We go from the SATELLITE DISH
up to the--
EXT. STRATOSPHERE - NIGHT
The machine, with some food caked-on itself, rattles as the
monitor cycles through the food.
EXT. CHEW AND SWALLOW
INTERNATIONAL CROWDS get off the cruise ships and head into town. A sign
reads “WELCOME TOURISTS!” Oversized appetizers rain.
CROWDSPERSON #1:
Looks safe to me!
CROWDSPERSON #2:
And sanitary too!
INT. NEWS VAN - DAY
Sam’s alone in the back studying herself in the mirror. She
takes her glasses on and off, on and off...
SAM’S POV: as she puts her glasses on, the shot gets
FOCUSED, and we can see what’s behind her.
With her newfound vision, she sees an old-fashioned SUITCASE
LAPTOP in the corner.
She blows off dust to see it reads “Doppler Weather Radar
2000 Turbo.”Sam flops it on the table, opens it with awe, and pushes
START. It begins to boot up and she smiles. She can see her
reflection there in the screen, and she finally likes what
she sees. Then a weather image loads up.
On Sam, who adjusts some knobs and we see a
red spinning glow on her face as she GASPS.
EXT. CHEW AND SWALLOW - DAY
The mayor rolls up to the stage.
MAYOR:
Who’s hungry?! Welcome, tourists,
to Chewandswallow!
FRENCH TOURIST:
That is one big mayor.
MAYOR:
Delight in our Nacho Cheese
Hotsprings! Allow your kids to eat
all the junk food they want in our
completely unsupervised Kidz Zone!
Cal is among the kids playing in piles of junkfood.
CAL:
I have jelly beans for teeth!
MAYOR:
And when the fun is done, gaze upon
the sunset cresting over Mount
Leftovers! From which we’re
protected by a presumably
indestructible dam!
Outtasighters launch leftovers onto an ever-growing mound
behind the dam.
MAYOR: (CONT’D)
We’ve got people here today from
all around the world. From as far
as China to West Virginia. Also, I
think there’s some Canadians
here...
BACKSTAGE ON FLINT, looking around through the enormous
curtain of himself. Flint nervously slicks down his hair.
He wears a tuxedo t-shirt. Sam approaches.
SAM:
Flint, you need to look at this.
FLINT:
Why aren’t you on TV? You’re
supposed to be broadcasting this.
SAM:
There’s a problem. I think the
food’s getting bigger--
FLINT:
I know, it’s great. Bigger portion
sizes. Everyone loves it.
He gestures to passersby catching a jumbo jumbo prawn.
SAM:
Flint, I’m not sure we’re doing the
right thing here.
FLINT:
(HEATED) Sam, listen--
SAM:
What if we’ve bitten off more than
we can chew?
FLINT:
Ugh. For the first time in my
life, everybody loves something
that I’ve done.
Why can’t you just be happy for me
and go say the weather or
something? Jeez.
Flint turns away from her. Sam is shocked.
MAYOR: (O.S.)
And without further ado, our town’s
hero, and my metaphorical son,
Flint Lockwood!
Flint runs out to grand APPLAUSE. He soaks it in.
FLINT:
Thank you! Thank you everyone!
Yeah! Woo!
CROWD:
Yeah! Flint! / Sign my shrimp! /
Flint Lockwood! / I admire your
quirkiness!
MAYOR:
Brent, we’re gonna need you to hand
over the ceremonial scissors.
ON BRENT, who can’t believe it.
BRENT:
But...
The scissors are taken and handed to Flint.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
No! You can’t--! You can’t take
them! No! I’m Baby Brent!
Desperate, he pulls off his clothes, down to his diaper.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
(PATHETICALLY) Uh-oh!
CROWD & JOE TOWNE:
Boo! / Put your clothes back on!
BRENT:
Who am I?!
Brent runs away, crying.
Flint gets the scissors. He feels how beautiful they are.
MAYOR:
(WHISPERS) Go ahead, Flint.
Everybody loves you.
The crowd ROARS! The Nacho Cheese Hotsprings shoot Bellagiostyle cheese fountains! Behind him, the Mayor slips away.
CUT TO:
INT. TACKLE SHOP - SAME
Tim still grinds chum, alone. The celebratory chanting of
“Lockwood” can be heard faintly in the distance. Tim SIGHS.
EXT. CHEW AND SWALLOW - SAME
Flint closes his eyes as he cuts the ribbon. Cheers from the crowd! Suddenly, a flock of ratbirds take off. The sky turns green, then orange in danger. Steve senses something and
starts screaming.
STEVE:
Danger! Danger! Danger!
Steve runs off. The wind picks up. Flint TASTES THE AIR.
FLINT:
Salt and pepper wind...?
SMACK! Flint is HIT by a giant DRY LEAF. He SNIFFS it.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
(OH NO) Oregano.
A look of horror in his eyes. ZOOM out to see the main course: a massive SPAGHETTI TORNADO!!! All buildings its strands touch are demolished, and meatballs are launched like boulders from the cone.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Mamma Mia!
He turns back to Sam, who gives him an angry glare then runs
off towards her van, determined.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Sam, wait, no! I can turn it off!
Flint looks up at the twister...then past it at his lab.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
(DETERMINED) I can turn it off...
He gives a primal SCREAM and runs towards his lab, with the
twister in between! We follow him as huge MEATBALLS smash
down around him as everyone else runs away in the opposite
direction. Cars and objects are lifted into the air...
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Hey, kids, it’s all gonna be okay-- Oh, no.
And he gets sucked into the eye of the storm. Inside it’s calm.
Flint runs in the air past a MAN IN A TUB...
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Pardon me...
MAN IN TUB:
Pardon me!
...then reaches Joe Towne, sitting in his car as it floats
through the eye of the storm. Flint opens the back passenger
door, climbs through, and exits the other side of the car,
still flying.
FLINT:
Excuse me.
JOE TOWNE:
Aw, no problem.
He flies out of the twister and LOSES HIS LAB COAT...
FLINT:
No!
.
..but keeps air-running over pieces of debris (garlic bread,
stop signs, mailboxes, a stepladder) as though they were
stairs until he’s back on the ground, in front of the lab.
Steve’s there waiting for him outside of the Port-A-Potty.
STEVE:
Gummi Bears.
FLINT:
Not now, Steve.
Steve hops onto his shoulder and they enter the Port-a-Potty.
EXT. CHEW AND SWALLOW - DAY
The twister is headed for Sardine Circle. The cruise ships
back up and peel out of town as fast as possible.
INT. ROOFLESS RESTAURANT - DAY
In the restaurant, everyone holds out their plates
expectantly. A WAITER walks by with condiments.
WAITER:
Condiments? Pepper?
Giant spaghetti and sauce buries them.
EXT. CHEW AND SWALLOW - DAY
ON TIM, in the Tackle Shop, watching people outside panic.
TIM:
(WORRIED) Flint...
Just then an enormous meatball nearly crashes into the shop.
ON SAM, through Manny’s handheld camera, as she gives a
report. She’s still in her glasses and ponytail.
SAM:
This is Sam Sparks live from
Chewandswallow, where a spaghetti
twister--
She is inset by the ANCHOR.
WNN ANCHOR:
Whoa, whoa, Sam, hey! We love a
good storm over here, but you look
like a nerd!
SAM:
(IGNORING HIM) Patrick, several
children are stranded in the path
of this tomato tornado.
IN THE KIDZONE, Cal and the other kids look up from gorging
themselves and try to run...only they are slow and fat and
crippled by STOMACH ACHES. Most crawl their way out but Cal--
CAL: My tummy hurts...
ON EARL, who sees Cal on the TV monitors in the TV repair
shop...
EARL:
Cal!
.
..and he makes a break for him.
SAM:
It’s becoming a spinning semolina
nightmare, twirling a path of--
WNN ANCHOR:
Yikes. What is that, a scrunchie?
I haven’t seen one of those since
1995!
SAM:
What? We have an actual weather emergency-
Then she gets squished by a garlic bread into the screen, just like last time.
WNN ANCHOR:
(LAUGHING THROUGH TEARS) Well,
we’ll get right back to that storm,
and hopefully Sam will look a
little more appealing. (PRESSING
BUTTON) Boop!
They switch over to footage of a puppy in a field with
different local temperatures CHYRONED over it.
INT. FLINT’S LAB - DAY
Flint bursts in. Steve is clinging to Flint’s head.
FLINT:
(PANTING) Steve, we just have to
upload the kill code and it will
shutdown the -- 
REVEAL the Mayor, furiously typing at Flint’s computer.
FLINT: Oooooh, what
are you doing here?!
MAYOR:
I’ve been up here ordering up
dinner for the last ten minutes.
Why? Is something going on?
FLINT:
I’ve gotta stop the machine.
Everyone’s in danger because of me.
Flint rushes for the machine in an attempt to turn it off but
is bounced away by the mayor’s large belly.
MAYOR:
Oh, it can’t be that bad.
The Mayor hits the big red “SEND” button. Foods start to cycle on the computer screen, which creates a
SCARY STROBE LIGHTING EFFECT.
MAYOR:
Well, I’m outta here.
FLINT:
(DETERMINED) I can still stop the
order with the kill code!
Flint makes it to the computer and types. He’s about to hit
the SEND button and stop the machine...
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Sending kill code...
MAYOR:
I’m back!
...but the Mayor chokes him with a jumbo JUMBO PRAWN,
dragging him away.
FLINT:
(CHOKING) Got to get the button!
Flint grabs a huge HOT PEPPER and shoves it in the Mayor’s
eye. Flint races back...
Steve rolls around, having a great time tossing food.
STEVE:
Play, fun, fun, play, fun!
MAYOR:
Hey, Flint! It’s been nice to beet
you!
The Mayor tosses a big RADISH at Flint.
FLINT:
That’s a radish!
Flint in midair dodges the beet/radish and it flies on, and
smashes into the satellite dish, blowing it up. BOOM!
The satellite is in a million pieces. Flint finally pushes
the button. Nothing happens.
ON THE SCREEN: “ERROR: CONNECTION LOST. KILL CODE NOT SENT”
FLINT:
That was the only way to
communicate with the machine...
(GRAVE) What exactly did you order?
MAYOR:
A Vegas-style all-you-can-eat
buffet?
They all stare up at the monitor. Oh no.
EXT. STRATOSPHERE - CONTINUOUS
Now almost completely covered in food, the FLDSMDFR monitor
glows an ominous RED.
EXT. SARDINE CIRCLE - DAY
Overhead: the clouds part. The twister is gone. But it has
created a path of mess and destruction in its wake.
People start coming out of the mess, stunned. Two of them
are SAM AND MANNY. Sam coughs.
JOE TOWNE:
Everyone okay?
TOWNSPEOPLE:
Yeah. / Yep. / I’m good.
Sam opens up the Doppler. Earl runs up with Cal in his arms.
EARL:
Help, somebody! Help me please!
It’s my son.
SAM:
We need a doctor! Is anyone here a
doctor? Anyone?!
MANNY:
(STEPPING UP) I am a doctor.
SAM:
You are?
MANNY:
I was, back in Guatemala. I came
here for a better life. Pretty
great decision, eh?
Manny pulls out a STETHOSCOPE and listens to Cal’s heart.
EARL:
How is he, doc?
MANNY:
(SERIOUS) He’s in a food coma.
REALLY CONCERNED MAN:
Oh no!
Everyone GASPS, especially Earl.
MANNY:
Too much junk food. I need a
celery. Stat!
Someone hands him a stalk of celery.
JOE TOWNE:
Here you go.
Manny snaps it in half under Cal’s nose. Cal COUGHS and
wakes up.
CAL:
Daddy?
EARL:
Oh, Cal... Cal! I love you, son.
CAL:
<*BARF!*>
Earl kisses Cal on the lips and smiles.
EARL:
Looks like everything turned out
okay.
SAM:
Not yet it hasn’t. That spaghetti
twister was just an amuse bouche
compared to what’s on the way.
TOWNSPERSON:
(WHISPERS) What’s an amuse bouche?
SAM:
Manny, patch us through.
Manny prepares for a broadcast. The satellite goes up. He
plugs in some cables.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Go.
INT. WNN STUDIOS
Inset is an attractive woman with the headline “OTTERS GET
WET!”
WNN ANCHOR:
Cute report, Nancy!
Static started to appear.
WNN ANCHOR: (CONT’D)
Hey! Four eyes?!
Sam has pirated in from CHEW AND SWALLOW! As she speaks, we
cut around the world to see people’s horrified reactions.
SAM
Can it, Patrick! We are about to
be in the epicenter of a perfect
foodstorm. It’s going to spread
across the globe. I’ve calculated
the Coriolis acceleration of the
storm system. First it’ll hit New
York, then Paris, then the
Jianguang Pass in Eastern China.
And in four hours, the entire
Northern Hemisphere will be one big
potluck.
ON TIM, walking out of the Tackle Shop to survey the mess.
He looks over at the power line and sees Flint’s dirty LAB
COAT. He picks it up and looks at it. Clouds form.
EXT. JUNKYARD - DAY
Tim enters and hears a low moan.
TIM:
Flint?.
He follows the sound and finds Flint in a rusty barrel,
curled up under some junk.
TIM: (CONT’D)
Flint?
FLINT:
Hey, Dad.
TIM:
What are you doing?
FLINT:
Well, I tried to help everybody,
but instead I ruined everything.
I’m just a piece of junk. So I
threw myself away. Along with all
these dumb inventions. (RE: SPRAYON SHOES, ETC) This is junk. This is junk. (RE: SELF) This is junk.
TIM:
Look, son, you... Listen, when
your boat is... When it’s listing,
if it’s not running... You know,
uh--
FLINT:
Don’t worry, Dad, I get it. Mom
was wrong about me. I’m not an
inventor. I should’ve just quit
when you said.
Tim looks at his son in a trashcan, as low as can be.
TIM:
Well, when it rains, you put on a
coat.
He holds up Flint’s lab coat.
FLINT:
Dad, you know I don’t understand
fishing meta--
Flint looks up to see the lab coat.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
What...?
Flint stands up in the barrel, junk falling off him, and
takes the coat.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
My coat.
Flint looks at it for a beat, then realizes what his dad
means, looks back for Tim, but he’s gone into the house.
Flint gets a determined look.
FLINT: (CONT’D) Come on, Steve, we’ve got diem to carpe.
Steve pops up out of the trashcan next to Flint.
INT. ELEVATOR/FLINT’S LAB
Flint and Steve up to the lab in heroi-comic fashion.
SUPER FAST MONTAGE: He downloads the termination recipe onto
a USB flash drive. Flint draws up plans. Pushes buttons.
Calculates something. Measures something. Welds something.
FLINT:
Kill code downloading.
Redesigning. Virtualizing.
Cutting. Welding. Forging.
Wiring.
Steve hits a bucket with a spoon.
STEVE:
Helping.
FLINT:
Testing. 
Flint presses a button and jet engines shoot above him.
FLINT: Yes!
EXT. JUNKYARD - DAY
The doors of a secret garage open. Then headlights turn on
and a CRAZY CAR drives towards us with Flint and Steve inside
looking determined.
FLINT:
Flying Car 2... Now with wings.
EXT. CHEWANDSWALLOW - CONTINUOUS
A giant WATERMELON smashes into the cannery sending goop and
huge seeds flying all over town. A dozen enormous CHOCOLATE DONUTS roll down the street,
chasing Joe Towne and others.
JOE TOWNE:
I had a weird dream like this once!
A Man with a giant MACARONI over his head runs around
blindly, trying to get it off.
MACARONI GUY:
I HAVE A MACARONI ON MY HEAD!!!
An enormous pancake covers the school. Kids outside watch,
excited.
KIDS:
No school!
A CHERRY breaks a shop window and a man steals a TV. The
walking TV breaks the window next to it and kidnaps the store owner.
Amid the chaos and panic: SCREECH! Flint rolls up, steps
out of the car, faces the crowd, and a still-mad Sam.
FLINT:
Everyone! I want to apologize.
Especially to you, Sam. But I have
a plan. This flash drive contains a
kill code. I will fly up into that
foodstorm, plug it into the machine
and shut it down forever, while you
guys evacuate the island using--
MAYOR:
This is all his fault! Get him!
CROWD & JOE TOWNE:
There he is! / Get him! / Let’s
rock his car back and forth!
Flint JUMPS back into his car and Steve locks the door.
People start rocking the car.
Earl enters.
EARL:
HEY!!!
Everyone stops in their tracks. Earl flips onto the hood.
EARL: (CONT’D) This mess we’re in, it’s all our faults. 
Me, I didn’t even protect my own son.
On the crowd, NODDING in agreement. Sam, Brent, others.
EARL: (CONT’D)
Look, I’m as mad at Flint as you are.
In fact, when he gets out of that car, I’m going to slap him in the face. 
I know Flint Lockwood made the food, 
but it was made to order.
And now it’s time for all of us to pay the bill.
The crowd CHEERS AND CLAPS. Brent sheds his Pizza cover and salutes as shrimps shoot down in order. Steve licks the windshield. Flint gets out
and gets on the hood.
FLINT:
Thank you, Earl.
Earl SLAPS Flint.
FLINT (CONT’D)
Ow.
EARL:
Sorry.
FLINT:
It’s okay.
EARL:
(TO CROWD) Let’s go build some
boats!
The crowd CHEERS. Earl exits. Sam steps onto the hood.
SAM:
I’m coming with you. You’re gonna
need someone to navigate you
through that storm. (SOFTENS) I
can’t let you do this alone.
FLINT:
Oh, Sam, I’m so sorry-
-He goes in for a kiss and gets denied. Again.
SAM:
Are you kidding?
FLINT:
Well, I just thought that--
SAM:
No.
FLINT:
Okay.
Manny steps onto the car.
MANNY:
You are going to need a copilot.
SAM:
You’re a pilot too?
MANNY:
Yes. I am also a particle
physicist.
SAM:
Really?
MANNY:
No, that was a joke. I am also a
comedian.
All LAUGH.
STEVE:
Ha! Ha! Ha!
FLINT:
Let’s do this!
BRENT: (O.S.)
I’m coming, too.
Brent steps onto the hood. He’s heavy.
FLINT:
(POLITE) Brent! Uh, that’s okay.
BRENT:
No, it’s not okay. I've been
coasting on my fame since I was a
baby..but it was all just an illusion.
Maybe up there, I’ll find out who I
really am.
FLINT:
Uh, car’s pretty full, so...
But Flint can’t turn down Brent and his puppy dog expression. 
EXT. SWALLOW FALLS - DAY 
Everybody is jammed in the car. Flint drives, Manny sits on
the console, Sam is in passenger seat, and Brent and Steve
are in the back. 
BRENT:
(LAUGHS) Yeah! Brent! 
FLINT:
Okay. 
Flint, with new resolve, takes off in the car-plane. They
pass a flock of ratbirds who seem to nod solemnly as Flint
gives them a thumbs up.
They fly by Tim outside the tackle shop. 
TIM:
Good luck, son. 
EXT. CHEW AND SWALLOW, STREET - DAY 
TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS as the weird, rickety car-plane takes
off! 
INT./EXT. CAR-PLANE - CONTINUOUS 
Flint steers through clouds as G-force makes the plane shake
like crazy 
STEVE:
(SHAKY) Steeeeeve. 
The Doppler goes off. A GREEN MIST covers the windshield. 
SAM:
Pea soup fog! 
They’re flying blind. Something hits them. 
FLINT:
Manny, hit the wipers!
Manny pushes twelve buttons...
SAM
(RE: DOPPLER) Flint, there’s massive gastro-precipitation
accumulated around the machine.
It’s almost as if it’s--
.
..Manny finishes his button pushing sequence and the wipers
finally come on.
FLINT:
(GRAVE) Inside a giant meatball.
Everyone looks out the window. As they emerge from the fog,
REVEAL a FOOD ASTEROID -- a huge mass of congealed food with
food-blasting blowholes. The FLDSMDFR in the center.
Sam looks out the window, seeing white clouds sucked in
through the top; black food clouds shoot out the bottom.
SAM:
Water goes in the top, a food
hurricane comes out the bottom.
BRENT:
I’m glad I’m wearing a diaper.
They continue their approach to the monstrous meatball. A
PIZZA PIE breaks apart into slices that follow them. Sam
looks in the side view mirror and sees them as they shoot
pepperonis like bullets.
SAM: Anybody order pizza? (Gasps)
FLINT: Hold on!
BRENT:
The pizza’s chasing us?!
FLINT:
Sentient food? That’s impossible!
SAM:
Unless its molecular structure’s
mutated into superfood-
FLINT & SAM: --that’s been genetically
engineered to protect the FLDSMDFR.
STEVE:
Pizza!
FLINT, SAM & BRENT:
AAAAAAAAAHH!
STEVE
Pizza, pizza, pizza!
They REACT as a topping hits the plane. A cool PIZZA SLICE
DOGFIGHT ensues! Flint is a bad pilot, and in the ruckus
almost drops the flash drive.
FLINT:
Whew! That was close. I mean, can
you imagine if we lost this kill
code?
TONG! A MUSHROOM SLICE breaks a window and knocks the flash
drive out of Flint’s hand and out the window. Long beat.
BRENT:
Uh-oh!
EXT. CHEW AND SWALLOW - DAY
Huge food SMASHES the buildings on all sides of Tim’s Tackle
Shop. RING, RING. Tim answers his old land-line phone.
TIM:
Tim’s Tackle Shop.
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. CAR-PLANE - CONTINUOUS
Flint is on his phone mid-pizza dogfight.
FLINT:
Dad, you’re okay, great! Um, I
need a favor, the fate of the world
depends on it.
TIM:
Okay, then, skipper, what do you
need?
FLINT:
I just need you to go into my lab,
get on a computer and e-mail a file
to my cell phone.
Beat of Tim wide-eyed with the notion of using a computer.
TIM:
Ummmm-uhhh... Alright.
Tim hangs up.
The dogfight continues. Flint is still a bad pilot.
MANNY:
Want me to drive?
FLINT:
Yeah, okay.
Manny is an awesome pilot, outflanking the pizzas with ease.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Wow. You’re a lot better than me.
SAM:
Uh-huh.
They come upon the huge INTAKE HOLE that is sucking clouds
into the top of meateroid.
Flint turns the Doppler map and points.
FLINT:
Okay, here’s the plan. Sam and I
will enter the meateroid through
the intake here, which should lead
us straight to the FLDSMDFR.
Manny, you and Steve will stay on
the plane. (GRABS CAN OF SPRAY-ON
SHOES FROM STEVE) Don’t spray that
in your mouth. Once my dad emails
me the kill code, we’ll destroy the
machine, and rendezvous here at the
Western blowhole in... how long
until the world’s destroyed?
SAM:
About twenty minutes.
FLINT:
Just before then.
BRENT:
What about me, Brent, what do I do?
FLINT:
Uh, you can be president of the
backseat.
BRENT:
(EXCITED, THEN) Oh.
FLINT:
Deploy hatch!
The hatch pops off like on an F-16.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Car upside down... go!
Manny does a barrel roll and Flint and Sam fall onto the car plane ceiling. They stare out the hatch to the long drop.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Ladies first? No? Alright.
Flint, then Sam (still clutching the Doppler) LEAP out into
the huge, meaty hole. Brent JUMPS OUT after them...
BRENT
Wait for me!
...except that he gets stuck in the hatch.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
(STRUGGLING) I’m good.
Finally he pops free and falls after them. Sam and Flint
free fall down the hole, unaware of Brent.
SAM:
(YELLING) As long as we stay on
course, it should be a straight
shot to the--
Brent SLAMS into them and takes them off course.
BOTH: AAHHH!
BRENT
Yeah!
INT. FOOD ASTEROID, FOOD TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS 
Flint, Sam and Brent tumble into a pitch black tunnel. 
BRENT:
We’re a team!!!
INT. FOOD ASTEROID, FOOD TUNNEL - DAY
Flint creates a TORCH from a marshmallow and a shrimp skewer,
and lights it on a flaming cherries jubilee. It illuminates
the scary walls of a tunnel made of giant congealed food.
FLINT:
Whoa.
SAM:
(POINTS TO DOPPLER MAP) We’ve
landed here in some kind of exhaust
vent. But if we go this way, the
Flamidabager should be right down
this air shaft. (THEN) Brent, get
out of that pie.
Brent is eating a pie in the wall.
BRENT:
(MOUTH FULL) What’s up?
EXT. TIM’S BACKYARD - MOMENTS LATER
Tim faces the PORT-A-POTTY elevator...and pauses, reluctant.
Then he gets in and flushes.
INT. ELEVATOR TUBE - MOMENTS LATER
Tim shoots up the tube, SCREAMING.
INT. FLINT’S LAB - MOMENTS LATER
Tim enters with awe and faces the computer, showdown style.
LAB COMPUTER:
Welcome, Flint.
INT. SCARY FOOD CAVE - MOMENTS LATER
Flint, Sam and Brent face a huge cavern which has a river of
boiling hot oil running through it. And they have to get to
the other side!
FLINT:
That’s fry oil.
They carefully begin to cross it, using french fries and
chicken nuggets as floating platforms. As they cross--
PHONE: “Flint you have a call, Flint you have a call.”
FLINT: 
(INTO PHONE) Dad! Uh, okay, great. On the screen there’s a file marked
“kill code.”
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. FLINT’S LAB - CONTINUOUS
Tim stares at the computer as if it were a spaceship.
TIM:
Wha...? Huh?
FLINT:
Move that into my e-mail window,
type in my name and press “send.”
Tim looks around the lab for a window.
TIM:
Window?
FLINT:
Okay, Dad. You see the thing that
looks like a little piece of paper?
TIM:
What?
FLINT:
Use the mouse to drag it.
TIM:
Drag it?
FLINT:
Drag it.
TIM:
Drag it?
FLINT:
Drag it.
Tim puts the mouse on the screen and tries to move the arrow.
FLINT:
Great. Okay, great. Okay,
great.
TIM:
It’s not dragging.
FLINT:
Drag it across the desktop.
Tim literally drags the keyboard across the top of the desk.
Papers, equipment and the keyboard CRASH onto the floor.
TIM:
That didn’t do anything.
FLINT:
Of course it didn’t! You know
what? Aaaaarghh!
INT CHEW AND SWALLOW
Townspeople build boats out of giant sandwiches and swiss
cheese sails with pretzel stick masts as Earl instructs them.
EARL:
Go! Go! Go! Hoist those sails!
Toast that bread! We’re running
out of time!
Earl stops and looks up as the Dam starts to rumble
ominously. Earls chest hairs tingle.
EARL: (CONT’D)
Let’s move out! Go! Go! Go! We
can do it! Come on, move it, move
it, good job, that’s what I’m
talking about! Everybody head to
the docks!
Everyone runs out of the pancake, holding the boats over
their heads. They dodge enormous food.
As the first boat arrives at the docks, the Mayor arrives
from out of nowhere and PLOWS through the crowd.
MAYOR:
Wait, wait! I have an important
announcement. (BEAT) See ya,
suckers!
He steals the first bread boat and shoves off.
MAYOR: (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Bon voyage... and bon appetit!
He chows down on his own bread boat as he sails away.
Everyone on the docks is mad, knowing it was the mayor's fault.
Meanwhile, Earl, Regina and Cal run with their boat, but Cal
loses his grip and falls.
EARL:
Cal?!
REGINA:
Calvin!
Cal looks up at the dam. A cherry lands -doop! -on top of the food mound... and the Dam breaks open! A massive AVALANCHE OF
FOOD sweeps into town, destroying buildings.
EARL:
Cal, get back here!
CAL:
(STUNNED) Foodalanche.
EARL:
Cal! I’m not gonna lose you again!
Earl picks Cal up and starts running.
REGINA:
Baby!
Earl TOSSES CAL to Regina. Then he picks up their boat and
carries it -- with his family on it -- towards the water as
the foodalanche rolls towards them, right on his heels.
REGINA: Hold on tight, Calvin!
A GIANT CHERRY flies at them and Regina bats it away with a
candy cane.
Earl leaps into the air with his wife, child and boat,
through a huge falling nacho chip and they all LAND SAFELY on
the water, pushed out to sea by the foodalanche.
EARL:
Everybody head south! We’ve got to
stay ahead of that storm!
INTERCUT: INT. FLINT’S LAB / MEATEROID - CONTINUOUS
The foodalanche is headed for Flint’s lab. Tim is still
trying to send that email.
TIM:
Now what?
FLINT
Just click send!
SAM:
Flint, the Fliminadifiserser's right down
there!
FLINT:
Dad, hurry!
TIM:
Send? Send...? Oh, wait--
BAM! The foodalanche crashes in. Before he can hit the
button, Tim is knocked over. Flint hears cacophony on the
line.
FLINT:
Dad? Dad?! Can you hear me?
Dad?!
Brent turns and looks around, SCARED. But Flint is still
focused on his phone.
BRENT:
Hey guys?
Sam and Flint turn to see giant ROAST CHICKENS covering the
ceiling.
FLINT:
(SOTTO) Holy crapballs.
They try to run...
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
..
.but the roast chickens drop down and surround them!
FLINT, SAM & BRENT:
AAAAAH!
The lead chicken approaches Brent.
BRENT:
Aw, I don’t know, I think they’re
kind of cute. I mean, this one
just walked up to me and--
In one horrifying move, the biggest roast chicken SWALLOWS
Brent down his gullet.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
(MUFFLED) Aaaaaahhh!
FLINT & SAM:
They ate Brent!!
The chickens totally surround Flint and Sam and there’s no
escape.
FLINT:
(TERRIFIED) Dad, I’m surrounded by
man-eating chickens right now.
,So if this is goodbye, thanks for trying to set me straight. Figured it out a little late I guess. (THEN) Okay bye.
At this, Tim’s arm emerges from the rubble! Then he DRAGS
his whole body out of the food, reaches for the mouse and
pushes the button. SEND!
Flint looks at his phone and sees “Email Received. Subject:
Kill Code. 1 attachment”
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Dad!
A chicken swallows the phone out of Flint’s hand.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Hey, give me that phone back!
He reaches for the phone, but suddenly another chicken falls
over, SCREAMING and CONVULSING. The other chickens lean in
to see what’s happening.
Brent shoves his head through the neck of the chicken and
assumes control of its arms and legs.
FLINT:
Baby Brent?
BRENT:
I’m not Baby Brent anymore. I’m
Chicken Brent!
He pulls out his diaper and drops it on the floor.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
And I’m finally contributing to society! Crotch kick!
He PUNCHES and KICKS the other chickens with a vengeance.
Flint’s Cell phone pops out of one of them. He picks up Flint
and Sam and gets them out of harms way for the moment.
BRENT: (CONT’D)
Now go, you crazy kids, and save
the world.
FLINT:
You did it, Chicken Brent! You
really did it.
BRENT:
Go, go, go, go!
Flint and Sam escape while Chicken Brent stays behind and
holds off the chickens.
SAM:
It should be right down this...
hole.
They skid to a stop as we REVEAL a deep, nasty looking pit
lined with bumpy stalactites.
SAM: That’s peanut brittle. If either
one of us touches it, we’ll go into
anaphylactic shock.
Flint looks guilty.
FLINT:
Actually, I’m not entirely allergic
to peanuts. I might have just said
that to get you to like me.
SAM:
So you really thought having
allergies would make you more
attractive?
FLINT:
Ehhhhhhhh.
EXT. SKY/INT. CAR-PLANE - DAY
Manny adeptly steers around various oncoming foods.
Steve tries to grab Manny’s pencil thin moustache.
STEVE:
Moustache... moust--!
Manny GRUNTS at him and he recoils.
Wide, we see the black clouds spreading.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY, TIMES SQUARE - DAY
Black clouds roll in. Everyone looks up. On the jumbotron a
sign reads “TRY BAGELS - SURPRISINGLY HIGH IN CALORIES!”
CRASH! A huge bagel takes out the sign!
NEW YORK WOMAN: Sesame bagel!
NEW YORK CITIZENS: Taxi! Taxi!
A CUSTOMER holds his hot dog up to a VENDOR.
CUSTOMER:
I asked for extra mustard.
And EXTRA MUSTARD drenches him from above.
Two HOMELESS PROPHETS stand next to each other wearing
sandwich boards. One reads “The World Ends Tomorrow.” The
other reads “The World Ends Today.” Prophet #1 is crushed by
a PRETZEL.
PROPHET #2:
Haha! I was right!
EXT. AROUND THE WORLD - DAY
A CLUB SANDWICH uses the Eiffel Tower as a toothpick, complete with olive on top.
FRECHMAN
Sacre bleu!
TOURISTS enjoy the manmade beauty of Mt. Rushmore -- until
the presidents are smashed with CREAM PIES!! Lincoln from behind.
TOURISTS
Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!
HOT TEA rains down on Big Ben...and Londoners.
LONDONERS:
Hot tea! / It’s scalding!
At the GREAT WALL OF CHINA, a giant fortune cookie lands and
breaks open. A tourist reads the fortune:
TOURIST:
You are about to be crushed by a
giant corn.
Just then, a giant cob of corn rolls down the wall towards
the tourists.
INT. WNN NEWSROOM - SAME
The WNN Anchor reports from the newsdesk.
WNN ANCHOR:
It looks like the foodstorm is
following an unusual pattern of
hitting the world’s most famous
landmarks first and is now
spreading to the rest of the--
A GIANT PRETZEL crashes into the newsroom.
WNN ANCHOR: (CONT’D)
What the what?
INT. FOOD ASTEROID, SPIKY PIT - MOMENTS LATER
Brent is STRUGGLING to hold off the chickens.
BRENT
Hurry up, guys!
Using a LICORICE ROPE, Sam lowers Flint down the shaft.
Sam STRUGGLES with Flint’s weight..
FLINT:
After I plug my phone into the
FLDSMDFR and destroy it, I’ll tug
on the licorice twice and you’ll
pull me back up, okay?
SAM:
(STRUGGLING) Sounds great.
RUMBLE! Flint SCREAMS as Sam loses her grip on the licorice
rope and he falls.
Sam regains control of the rope, but slips down the shaft in
the midst of a bunch of peanut brittle shards.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Agh.
Sam looks down at her arm. It’s been pricked!
FLINT:
You got cut, didn’t you?
Sam’s arm and face swell up like a balloon.
SAM:
(SUPER STUFFED) Ah.... It’s just a scratch. 
FLINT:
Brent, you need to take Sam back to
the plane to get her an allergy
shot!
Brent is kicked and punched by a group of angry chickens.
BRENT:
Just a second...
SAM:
What? No!
FLINT:
Let go, Sam.
SAM:
I’m not gonna let you go. Flint,
you’ll be stuck down there.
Flint looks down into the dark pit, then back up at Sam.
FLINT:
It’s not ideal, no.
SAM:
(DESPERATE) Come with us. We’ll start over.
We’ll live underground. Use bacon for clothes.
FLINT:
Sam, that’s not a very good plan.
SAM:
It is if it means I don’t have to lose you! (BEAT) 
Look, I like you, okay.
FLINT:
Like-- Like, as a friend?
Her head still is swollen and pink.
SAM:
No. Like, like you like you.
Flint is shocked. After all this time, she reciprocated. 
FLINT:
Me too. But about you.
A tender shared gaze. He BITES the licorice rope, falling into the blackness.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Goodbye, Sam.
SAM:
Flint! No!
Sam stumbles backwards and falls. Chickens swarm her, until
Brent arrives!
He tosses her onto his back and races out through the tunnel,
bowling over the other chickens.
BRENT:
Hang on, Sam! Dr. Manny’s got the
medicine for your face!
INT. FOOD ASTEROID, FOOD CAVE - DAY
FLINT:
Aaaaahhh!
Flint LANDS, pulls himself up and discovers he’s in an
enormous food cavern.
At the center is the FLDSMDFR, in a uvula-like column of
gelatin, above an undulating pit. The machine “inhales” a
bunch of clouds and releases a mass of black smoke down the
pit.
INT. FOOD ASTEROID, FOOD TUNNEL - DAY
Brent PANTS as he gallops down the food tunnel with Sam on
his back, chased by chickens.
SAM:
(GROGGY) Manny, we’re on our way,
hurry...
MANNY: (V.O.)
Hang on, Sam, I’m circling the
blowhole.
EXT. SKY/INT. CAR-PLANE - DAY
Manny adeptly steers. THUNK, THUNK -- something hits the
underside of the wings.
MANNY:
Was is das?
Steve jumps up onto Manny’s face, then hides under the seat.
STEVE:
Scared.
On the wing, large GUMMI BEARS pull themselves up and tear
the wing apart. The plane plummets.
Terrified, Steve slowly raises his head and looks out the
window. His eyes open wide in shocked glee.
STEVE: Gummy Bears!
He imagines the gummy bears in sparkling light begging to be eaten.
STEVE:
HUNGRYYYY!!!
Steve leaps out onto the wing, DEVOURING the gummi bears and
RIPPING APART their cute Gummi bodies. Heads and limbs fly.
STEVE:
Steve. HUNGRY! HUNGRY! GUMMI
BEARS!
But the plane is still in a tailspin!
INT. FOOD ASTEROID, FOOD TUNNEL - DAY
Brent reaches the end of the tunnel and pauses. There’s no
sign of Manny.
BRENT:
Ohhhh, Manny where are you?!
ON STEVE, who rips out the heart of the last Gummi Bear and
eats it.
ON BRENT, looking back FEARFULLY as the chickens close in.
With no choice, he leaps out of the blowhole into mid-air,
SCREAMING as he plummets...
But Manny flies in at the last second and Brent SLAMS into
the windshield.
INT. CAR-PLANE/EXT. SKY - CONTINUOUS
Brent lowers Sam into the plane..
BRENT:
She touched a peanut or something!
INT. FOOD ASTEROID, FOOD CAVE - DAY
Flint makes his way toward the machine, HUMMING HIS
SOUNDACK and moving like a kid pretending to be an action
hero. He accidentally steps on a tortilla chip, CRUNCH,
alerting the machine to his presence.
Immediately the top half of the uvula lifts the FLDSMDFR up
and it fires a GIANT CORN at Flint.
MACHINE VOICE:
Corn.
The corn rips into the ground in front of him, digging a huge
crater in the spot where Flint was just standing.
The machine noses forward, still attached to the uvula, and
uses a beam of light to scan the room for Flint -- he’s
nowhere to be found.
The light beam passes over a row of food embedded in one of
the walls -- strawberries, hot dogs, pickles -- nothing.
Except -- that’s not a hot dog, it’s Flint in a bun!
But the machine doesn’t see him, and the uvula returns it to
the gelatinous column to continue pumping food around the
world. Flint slips out of the bun and inside a cocktail olive and
runs over to a corner. He grabs items as he goes -- a strand
of spaghetti, a shrimp -- and ties them tightly together...
FLINT:
Grabbing. Tying. Throwing.
...then tosses the end with the shrimp through the hole of a
donut hanging from the ceiling and the tail of the shrimp
hooks in.
FLINT (CONT’D)
Waiting...
Flint times it so the machine has just “exhaled,” then swings
out on the spaghetti strand...
FLINT: 
Swinging!
...wrapping it around the uvula like a tetherball so that the
machine can’t suck in any clouds.
Flint lands right next to the machine and immediately pulls
out his cell phone with the kill code.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Sorry, old friend. The kitchen’s closed!
He jams the phone into the machine’s port. But instead of
the kill code, it turns out Tim sent him the CAT DJ VIDEO.
FLINT: (CONT’D)
Dad, no...
Suddenly the uvula rears up, snapping the spaghetti, lifting
the FLDSMDFR, and Flint has to hang on for dear life as the
machine becomes a bucking bronco, flailing wildly and
shooting food in all directions.
Flint slips, barely holding onto one of the legs of the
machine as he dangles above the huge pit.
The FLDSMDFR sucks in clouds until the uvula looks like a
giant balloon filling the most of the cave, and prepares to
unload on Flint.
All seems lost, but then he looks down at the hole and notices his feet, still covered
-- at always -- in the indestructible Spray-On Shoes. His
eyes go WIDE.
Flint pulls out his can of SPRAY-ON SHOES...
FLINT:
When it rains, you put on a coat.... Of Spray-on Shoes!!! Yeah!
...and SPRAYS the Chow Plopper, SEALING IT SHUT FOREVER. The
machine bursts at the seams.
Flint looks up at the machine and steels himself...then LETS
GO and falls down through the food hole, out the column of
black smoke with a serene smile as the machine explodes... BOOM! The explosion
expands outward, following Flint down the hole. It gets
closer and closer until it overtakes him.
INT. CAR-PLANE - DAY
SAM: (O.S.)
(GROGGY) What’s happening...
Chickens...
Manny grabs an EPI PEN and jams it into Sam’s leg and she
wakes up with a start! Her swelling instantly goes down.
SAM: (CONT’D)
Where’s Flint?
As they streak towards us, the meateroid EXPLODES!
SAM: (CONT’D)
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Brent consoles Sam with a sticky, chickeny hug.
BRENT:
I know, kid. I know.
EXT. AROUND THE WORLD - DAY
Paris, London, New York -- a RIPPLE of explosive energy
clears the skies. Everyone CHEERS!
EXT. OCEAN - DAY
Everyone on the boats watches the explosion clear the sky.
Tim climbs out unharmed from the Port-A-Potty. He looks up
at the sky and watches, hopeful, as the car-plane approaches.
EXT. CHEWANDSWALLOW - LATER
The breadboats return to shore as the car-plane lands. The
island is covered with giant food.
Manny, Steve, Chicken Brent and Sam emerge to CHEERS. Then
Sam closes the door to the plane. Tim approaches Sam expectantly.
TIM:
Flint?
SAM:
(HANGS HEAD) I’m sorry.
TIM:
Oh...
Tim’s face falls. He starts to tear up. Sam puts her hand
on Tim’s shoulder.
SAM:
Your son was a great man.
Behind them, a FLOCK OF RATBIRDS flies down from the sky.
The crowd points and GASPS.
Sam and Tim turn to see ratbirds gently place a smoking,
woozy Flint on the ground. Flint gives the ratbirds a thumbs up. They SQUAWK their approval. Everyone runs over to HUG
our hero.
FLINT:
Steve!
STEVE:
Steve!
BRENT:
Flint!
FLINT:
Brent!
STEVE:
Steve.
CAL:
Flint!
FLINT:
Cal!
STEVE:
Steve!
EARL:
Flint!
FLINT:
Earl!
MACARONI GUY:
(MUFFLED) Flint!
FLINT:
You... guy!
STEVE:
Steve.
Then Sam approaches.
FLINT
Sam.
SAM
Flint.
FLINT
Sam.
SAM
Flint.
They look into each other’s eyes. Tim approaches.
TIM:
Flint.
FLINT:
Dad.
STEVE:
Steve.
TIM:
(AWKWARD) Flint... oh. When you...
when you cast your line... if it’s
not straight... you, umm...
Father and son stand there awkwardly. Beat.
SAM:
Oh, for crying out loud.
Sam tears off Steve’s THOUGHT TRANSLATOR and puts it on Tim.
Suddenly the box allows him to gush his true feelings.
TIM: (THROUGH TRANSLATOR) I’m proud of you, Flint.
I’m amazed that someone as ordinary as me could be the father of someone as extraordinary as you. 
You’re talented, you’re a total original,
and your lab is breathtaking. 
Your mom, she always knew you were going to be special
and if she were alive today, she’d tell us both, “I told you so.” 
Now, look, when I take this thing off
and you hear me make a fishing metaphor, 
just know that fishing metaphor means... 
(SPOKEN) I love my son.
FLINT: I love you too, dad.
Flint hugs his dad. He’s never been happier. The crowd
CHEERS. Tim nudges Flint over to Sam. Flint turns to her.
FLINT: So where were we...?
SAM: You were about to kiss me.
FLINT: Were you going to kiss me back?
SAM: Why don’t you find out?
FLINT: Because I don’t want to go for it and then get shut down again.
SAM: Just kiss me!
She closes her eyes and leans in, puffing her cheeks out in
the same never-kissed-anyone face Flint made earlier. Flint
makes the same face and goes for it. It’s the most awkward,
nerdiest, and somehow still immensely satisfying on-screen
kiss ever. As we begin a huge cinematic PULL OUT, we hear...
TIM: That’s my son.
BRENT: Yeah! I’m a chicken!
We pull back through the same clouds that led us into the
movie, and ratbirds fly by, WIPING to
THE END
EXT. OCEAN - DAY
The Mayor bobs on what’s left of his mostly-eaten boat,
completely alone in the open ocean...
MAYOR: This was not well thought out.
Roll credits!
Category:Transcripts