Runelords 27.1 - Can't Go Home Again

After investigating the well, discussing options and promising to consider ideas for the next round of Commune questions, the group of seven each went their separate ways, intending to all meet again in a few hours with the sheriff and mayor. 
As Virgil meandered away through the town, lacking a definite destination, Shadliss followed behind him a short distance. When they were well away from the others, and it was clear that Virgil hadn’t noticed her, she closed the gap and cleared her throat, catching his attention. His gaze whipped over to her, and when he saw who it was, he gave a half grin, “Hey. What can I do for you?”
She was quiet for a second, looking sidelong, before she turned up to him and asked, “What exactly did you mean before, about not going home?”
“Huh?” He stood confused for a moment before recognition dawned, “Oh! You mean about Eamon?” She nodded. “Well, like I said, we can’t go home. That’s...really about it. We’re human. Mortals can’t live in the other planes.”
She retorted, “But...well, what about all those stories, huh? About people going to Heaven if they’re really good? And the devout ascending to Heaven?”
Virgil smiled patiently, “Well, there’s magic to take you there, yes. Plane Shift, things like that. But, we’re human. The outer planes don’t have time. Nothing there needs food, sleep, anything like that, and the whole place is just overflowing with positive or negative energy. Human bodies just can’t take it, and they die after a day or two. Eamon could get to Heaven, but he couldn’t live there anymore. And I mean, yes, there are some spells and things to prevent the world from killing you, but they’re rare. Definitely beyond us. Now, as for dying and going to Heaven…” he shrugged, “well...we’d be dead, right? People are pretty sure that good souls go Heaven, bad ones to Hell, so on, but, you don’t keep your memories or your mind or anything. I guess he might go back? But, nobody really knows what’s after death.”
Shadliss frowned, expression sorrowful. “...Oh…”
“So, I know he’s in a bad mood, we all are, but give him some slack,” Virgil said, continuing down the street as Shadliss walked beside him. The rain was light today, but the sky was still dark and overcast. “He lost everything. He was an angel; Heaven was his home, and he can’t go back. He was a soldier, and he got discharged, because humans can’t serve in his army. Yesterday, actually: that’s what that light was. Us getting reprimanded, and thrown out.” They came upon a damp bench, and Virgil sat down heavily, his body language suggesting a pained mood his voice and face were trying hard not to convey. “He’s cut off from everyone and everything he’s ever known. So...yeah. He’s due a bit of an awful mood.”
Shadliss perched on the opposite end of the bench as she said sadly, “...That’s terrible…” Virgil glanced towards her; this was the closest she’d gotten to him in days, now that he was wearing Khyr’s hat of disguise. The illusion was making him look like he used to: younger, with grey eyes, Yetoman features and blonde hair. She looked at the ground as she asked, “...So, you can’t go home either?”
He sighed heavily and leaned back on the bench, looking up at the cloudy sky. “Nope.”
She sat quietly for a moment before mumbling, “...I guess…” she struggled for the correct words, “...I hope you can find a new home here.” She glanced towards the man, “It’s...it’s nice here...I think so, at least.”
“Heh,” he snorted. “Yeah. I’ve always kind of liked it. Better than Hell, I guess.” He continued looking up at the sky as he added, “Probably no Heaven though…” The pair sat silently for a long few minutes, the sounds of the town around them muffled and distant. Most of the villagers were still at a town hall meeting; it wasn’t as though the idea of invasion and evacuation was a subject to be easily accepted and acted upon. No one was around to remark upon the two people sitting miserably on a bench. It was Virgil who broke the silence, muttering as he stared up at the grey sky, “...That worst part is, that I could go back.” Shadliss turned to look at him, expression begging for explanation that he gave, “I could call my father. Admit that I screwed up and need his help. And he’d turn me into a devil again, like he did before.” He sighed slightly as he continued to stare up, “But, not like that helps either of them any. And I have to admit I’m a disappointment. ...And, really, going back undermines everything I’ve ever done, so, I get to disappoint myself too.”
Shadliss pursed her lips, but chose to skim over that strange declaration, instead asking, “He can do that, because you’re related?”
“Hmn?” he glanced over his shoulder towards her. “Oh. No. No, none of the people he’s changed are really related to him at all. It’s just a power he has, as an archdevil.”
She brightened, suggesting, “So, you just have to find the angel who can do the same thing for Eamon!”
Virgil looked at her and chuckled, “Not everyone can do that. That’s just him in particular. Archdevils and archangels all have unique powers. And my father has to really care about someone for him to be able to do that. He has to want to keep them with him. He can’t just wave his hands for anyone.”
Shadliss scowled and crossed her arms, huffing and muttering, “...S’not like I know what magical fairy creatures can and can’t do…”
Still smiling, he shook his head, “Sorry, you’re right. Maybe there is an archangel who could do it. But Heaven is infinite, so I doubt we’d find anyone before he died of old age.” She huffed again, but some of her offense left with it. Virgil leaned forwards, resting his chin on his hand. When he did, he rubbed absently at his cheek. Frowning, he mumbled, “Hate using these…”
“What?”
“I...I hate using disguise hats. Illusions. I just...eh.” He shook his head once, “Lying. They just feel like they’re lying.”
She raised an eyebrow, “...Lying to who? I mean, you just look like you used to. There’s nothing wrong about that.”
“Lying to everyone. Lying to myself,” he said vaguely. “It’s...I don’t look like that anymore. And I don’t...I don’t like wearing make-up because I have to. If I want to, fine. But if I have to...it’s just...uncomfortable. I don’t look like my family anymore and it’s...it’s weird to pretend that I do. I’m not...one of them anymore.” He hung his head slightly, “...Lying.” 
The oddity of this statement made her shake her head, frowning at his obtuseness. “Not looking like your family doesn’t not make you part of the family anymore. And it’s not like anyone around here has any idea what your family looks like. I don’t see what the issue is.”
He closed his eyes momentarily before saying, “I’m just being pedantic. I’m sorry.” He sighed, sitting more upright and smiling slightly towards her, “I’m sorry. For being depressing. I’ll try to stop.”
Shadliss sighed as well, “...It’s ok. You’ve...gone through some rough things.” She paused for a second before tentatively reaching over and placing her hand on his, wrapping her fingers around the back of his hand. 
Making a small scoffing sound, Virgil turned towards the ground again, though he didn’t move to pull his hand away. The wind blew gently, spraying their faces with the misty rain. “...Don’t feel like you have to.” Shadliss quirked an eyebrow, and he explained, gesturing vaguely towards her hand, “This. I know I’m not the same, and I know this was never serious, so don’t feel like you’re stuck. You aren’t obligated or anything.”
“I know that!” she said quickly, offended at the implication of the alternative. She sat thoughtfully for a moment before replying, “...You’re still the same person, even if you look different. I still liked being with you. So...I’d like to try it, at least.”
“I’m...not really the same,” he muttered. He pulled at his hat, tugging it lower over his forehead, his fingers moving through a brim that didn’t actually exist. “And I don’t...want to pretend that I am. So I just...don’t want you thinking you have to…” he trailed off.
Shadliss pulled her hand back, crossing her arms and scowling at him. “I don’t have to do anything.” 
“Exactly,” Virgil said, turning towards her. “And you are a beautiful young woman, and I am…” he rolled his eyes, “a scruffy old vagrant. Who is a lot older than you.” 
She drummed her fingers on her folded arms, looking at him sternly for a second before rolling her eyes, “If you’re trying to break up with me, just say so.”
This caught Virgil off-guard, leaving him blinking slowly at her. “...What?”
“You’re trying to get me to break up with you again,” she said huffily, pointing her nose up. “Just say it if you’re going to.”
“I…” Virgil gave a few incredulous chuckles, “How...how did this come up again? And on me again?”
“Well,” she said matter-of-factly, “You seem to be trying awfully hard to convince me to be uncomfortable with something I said I was fine with.”
“I’m trying to…?” he said slowly, laughing slightly as he tried to say, “I’m, I’m not trying to convince you of anything. I’m uncomfortable! I make me uncomfortable! Everything about this is uncomfortable!” He pushed his fingers into his temples as he drifted into a manic rant, “It’s like half of this doesn’t even make sense! Not even by stupid-logic! Like, I get why my hair is black, but my eyes are the wrong colour! They aren’t supposed to be this colour, they were never this colour, they were always grey. Why aren’t they now!? That means something! And why am I this old?! I was never this old before, I wasn’t even forty before, but now I’m what, fifty? At least!?” He rubbed at his face as he continued without pause, “Why this!? This is itchy and makes me look even older! And I don’t even know how to shave because I’ve lived for a hundred and fifty years and this has never come up before! A hundred and fifty! I was immortal! I was immortal and now I’m a disappointment to everyone and I have to keep everything together, because on the other hand we have Eamon, who is devastated and doesn’t know why he can’t eat fifteen pies in one sitting and why he can’t live on peaches, and Khyrralien, who I had to explain to twelve hours ago that he couldn’t take six different drugs at once because it would kill him! And of course this is happening when four different cities are under threat and an ancient warlord is mustering and there’s no one else to help, because why wouldn’t it?!” As he finished he deflated and leaned forwards heavily, burying his face in his hands in what looked like an effort to not scream.
Shadliss watched him ramble, her expression shifting from its original haughtiness to one of begrudged sympathy. When he finished and was sitting silently, she played with the elbow of her sleeve, looking away as she muttered quietly, “...M’sorry. I didn’t...guess that it was...such a big deal.” He exhaled heavily through his nose, suggesting that it was. She looked at him sadly for another moment before sliding over and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. Virgil leaned heavily into the embrace, moving his arms to clasp her tightly, clinging to the younger girl and taking shuddering breaths. She could feel the stubble on his face pricking her neck, even though it was hidden behind the illusion woven by the hat. 
As they sat hugging on the bench in the misty rain, something seemed to bother the corner of Shadliss’ mind. It took her a while to place the feeling, but Virgil seemed in no rush to move, so she had plenty of time to realize what it was: he smelled different. Virgil had always smelled of two things: strong, cloying cologne, and tobacco. He smoked constantly, or at least he always had when he had been with her in Medinipur and in the weeks before. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him with a single cigarette since he had come back. He had been chewing on things, grass and pens and toothpicks, but he hadn’t smoked at all; she hadn’t noticed at the time, but now it seemed almost glaring, especially with the familiar smell suddenly gone from his clothes and skin. Gone as well was the cologne scent: an almost stomach-turning, overpowering sweet smell that used to hang on him. At first, she had assumed that he was just heavy-handed with cheap perfume, but after she had spent some days and nights with him, having pressed up against him after having just left a shower or been drenched in rain, clothed or naked, it was apparent that the smell was always on him, just as strong as though he had freshly sprayed it on himself, even though he never did. Now, the cologne was absent, and what faint, human scent lingered on his skin seemed almost imperceptible to her nose in the wake of what used to be. As she thought about it, she realized that that must have been what he smelled like before; it explained the strength and ubiquitousness of it despite her never having seen him apply anything. It made sense for devils to smell sweet, didn’t it? But now it was gone, and something about it underscored just how physically changed he was. As she thought about this, she said nothing, but couldn't help but feel sad: sad for him, and for Khyrralien and Eamon, despite her strained relationship with the pair. 
They sat in silence for a long time before Virgil finally muttered, “...You probably have places to be…”
“...Yeah…” she replied. “...And I’m soaked.” The misting rain wasn’t much to someone running from one awning to another, but they had been sitting outside on a wet bench for awhile. 
The two pulled back, and Virgil gestured with his chin, “You go. I’m sure your parents want to see you, after that meeting. Plus, I’m sure you’ve got things to prepare at home.”
“...Yeah. Yeah, I do,” she said, standing up. 
Virgil gestured quickly, drying her clothes through with an off-handed spell, forcing the light rain to start its work anew. He smiled slightly, “I’ll see you in a few hours at the town hall.”
She regarded him for a second before nodding, “Mhmm.” With a wave and a ‘see you later’, she turned and walked away, leaving Virgil on the bench.
Category:Rise of the Runelords