Transcripts/The Rarest of Occasions; Portal Combat

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==The Rarest of Occasions==
:[lamps clicking]
:Rarity: Hello there, my darlings! This is Rarity, and this, my sweet angels, is Rare Occasions with Rarity! Thank you for subscribing! Welcome to my one-hundredth episode!
:[party horn]
:Rarity: Oh. Should I say "sweet darlings" and "angels", or should I keep "sweet angels" and "darlings"? [murmurs] I guess I can decide during the real livestream.
:[zip!]
:[Rarity]
::[singing] One hundredth ep, show me some respect
::I've got no regrets, bah-bah-bah... bah...
:[muttering] Ah. The rest of the words will come later.
:[oven whirring]
:Pinkie Pie: Old friends and new friends alike, I need to know your true opinions. You three, I can't stress enough how valuable your taste buds are. You are healthy eaters who have not truly tried dessert before coming to Ponyville. Ooh! I should be taking notes!
:Echo: [chomps]
:[rock music]
:[whoosh!]
:[flatulence]
:Echo: Noooo!
:Pinkie Pie, Sugar Snap, and Lightning Chill: [gasp]
:[squeak!]
:[rattle!]
:Echo: Wow!
:Pinkie Pie: So? You like it?
:Echo: It's, uh... It's a flavor explosion. And explosions scare me. I-I wasn't ready. [chuckles]
:[powering down]
:Rarity: Sorry to interrupt, darlings, but tonight is the hundredth episode of my livestreaming solo show!
:Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [gasp]
:Rarity: Tonight, I will be doing my all-me rendition of David Mane-et's classic, Glengrassy Glen Crop. Which of my lovely buddies will assist please?
:Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash: Uhhh...
:Sugar Snap: I'll do it!
:Rarity: [yelps] Where did you come from?
:Sugar Snap: The portal. Remember?
:Rest of Mane Six: [giggle and "awww"]
:Rarity: No, I-I meant—
:Sugar Snap: Oh, relax, I'm just goofin'.
:Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]
:Sugar Snap: I did that play in our dimension. I know it well.
:Rarity: Um, I was thinking more a buddy I know.
:Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
:Applejack: Rarity! She knows the play, and she's funny as all get-out.
:Pinkie Pie: Plus, it would be like a student taking a masterclass from a pony at the top of her game!
:Sugar Snap: What she said.
:Rarity: Well, let's not waste another minute, Sugar Snap. I'd love to see you at the taping.
:[zip!]
:Rarity: Pinkie, you can provide refreshments if you so please. I would love for your cakes to complement my performance.
:Pinkie Pie: Okay, and minus a cup, plus a tablespoon... [gasps] I can't believe I'm saying this. But do these need... less chocolate?!
:[rumble!]
:[squirt!]
:[crash!]
:Mane Six and Wild Siders: [gasp]
:Echo: Perhaps just a little less?
:Rarity: Soooo... you are a comedienne?
:Sugar Snap: Oh, yeah! I had my own network TV show – Coleslaw & Order. I played a short-order cook who was long on laughs. It was based on my comedy routine.
:Rarity: Well, that sounds divine. Uh, I'm going to do a run-through. Would you adjust that light so I look simply radiant?
:Sugar Snap: Will do!
:[zip!]
:[clunking]
:Rarity: Acting! I've been coming to this diner every day, you know? [deeper voice] What'll it be, Marge? [normal voice] Give me... uh... oh.
:Sugar Snap: [affecting voice] Yeah, gimme the usual. Anything I can douse with hot sauce until it's unrecognizable.
:Rarity: Why, yes, thank you, darling. Now where was I? Ah, yes. Give me—
:Sugar Snap: You know, Rarity, I can jump in there and run it with you. Just for rehearsal.
:Rarity: Well, I am usually more of a—
:Sugar Snap: I'm not trying to step on your hooves. I just know I get most of my best work dunzo when I'm doing it with friends. Even new friends.
:Rarity: Well then, from the top!
:Sugar Snap: From the top!
:Rarity and Sugar Snap: From the top!
:Pinkie Pie: Okay, pals, I experimented all day looking for a great flavor that was less, um...
:Echo: Too too much much?
:Pinkie Pie: Uh, okay, okay. I've come up with a less overpowering cake. Presenting an olive oil cupcake with a salted peanut butter frosting!
:Lightning Chill: [chomps] Ooooh! You nailed it!
:Echo: [chomps] Delicious! Delicious!
:Rest of Mane Six: [chomp, cheer]
:Lightning Chill: It's almost like...
:[powering down]
:[clank!]
:Rarity: Hello, my dear fans and friends. I am Rarity, and thank you for coming to my one-hundredth livestream.
:[crowd cheers]
:Rarity: Tonight, I will be performing some top-notch drama. But I won't be flying solo.
:Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [gasp]
:Rarity: No! Instead, I would like to invite my good friend and rehearsal partner and the star of Coleslaw & Order, Sugar Snap!
:Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [cheer]
:Sugar Snap: Me?
:[clank!]
:Sugar Snap: I'm so excited to join you!
:Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: Awwww!
:Rarity: I realize I could probably do it without you, but not if I wanted to be the best. And I do. Let's wow them, scene partner!
:Rarity and Sugar Snap: Acting!
:Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [cheer]
==Portal Combat==
:[dance music]
:Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
:[whooshing]
:[wind rushing]
:Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
:[thud]
:Twilight Sparkle: Great! Now try the Reverse Trapeze!
:Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
:[whooshing]
:Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Thanks for helping me practice my moves, Twilight. I am gonna be a breakdancing star!
:Twilight Sparkle: Let's do one more. The Dash Master!
:Rainbow Dash: I've never done the Dash Master before.
:Twilight Sparkle: It has "Dash" in it. It's like it was made for you. You got this!
:[whooshing]
:Rainbow Dash: Whoaaaa!
:[splat!]
:[squeak!]
:Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
:[pinball sounds]
:[vortex swirling]
:Rainbow Dash: [groans, yells] Whoa. That was a close...
:[vortex swirling]
:Rainbow Dash: ...caaaaall!
:Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
:Applejack: [panting]
:Pinkie Pie: Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no! What's going on?!
:Twilight Sparkle: The portal's pulling Rainbow Dash! Quick! Help a pony out!
:Applejack: [gasps]
:Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
:Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
:Applejack: It's like she's stuck!
:Rainbow Dash: Uh, it seems like I'm getting sucked all the way in and the portal is closing up!
:Echo: Those of us from the Wild Side will be trapped here forever!
:Applejack: [grunts]
:Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: [yelp]
:Rainbow Dash: [yelling]
:Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: [gasp]
:Echo: Do any of you know a science pony clever enough to save Rainbow Dash and solve this problem?
:[beat]
:Twilight Sparkle: Do I have something in my teeth?
:Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
:[squeaking]
:Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Let's do this!
:[hammering and wrenching]
:[ding!]
:Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! [chomps] Mmm! It's done!
:Twilight Sparkle: The P.D.R. 9000!
:Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: Ooooh!
:Rainbow Dash: [deeper] The portal's changing my voice!
:Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]
:Rainbow Dash: [deeper] How looooow can it gooooo?
:Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]
:[electrical sounds]
:Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Oh.
:[fizzling]
:Pinkie Pie: No!
:Rainbow Dash: [yelling]
:Pinkie Pie: That's okay! It was a first attempt!
:Twilight Sparkle: We don't have time for a first attempt! Time is of the essence!
:Echo: It's looking like the portal will be closed forever! That'll be sad!
:Rainbow Dash: [even deeper] Uh, yeah! That would not be ideal!
:[squeaking]
:[knock on door]
:Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]
:Applejack: [grunts]
:Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
:Pinkie Pie: We brought something to relieve the stress.
:Twilight Sparkle: Do I seem stressed?!
:[rumble!]
:[shatter!]
:Pinkie Pie: When I'm stressed, I bake.
:Applejack: And I stroll through the orchard.
:Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
:Pinkie Pie: So we combined the two. Apple pie!
:Twilight Sparkle: [chomps] Mmm! Delicious!
:[thud]
:Twilight Sparkle: But I'm still stressed!
:Pinkie Pie: Oooookay. Our de-stress tactics didn't work, but clearly something is stressing you out. And I think it's more than just getting the machine to work. What is it, Twi? We want to help.
:Twilight Sparkle: Oh, it's all my fault! If I didn't push Rainbow Dash to do the Dash Master, then this would never have happened! Now the Wild Siders and Rainbow Dash will both be out of luck!
:Applejack: You're not bein' fair. You and Dash were playin' together. Don't let guilt get in the way of craftin' a solution.
:Twilight Sparkle: [chomps, gulps] Ohhhh, I get it! Applejack and Pinkie Pie! Apple pie! You combined the two!
:[zip!]
:Twilight Sparkle: That's it! I know how to fix... well, everything! Let's go!
:[zip!]
:[vortex swirling]
:Rainbow Dash: [even deeper] Have you come to say "seeeee yaaaaa laaaaateeeeer"?
:Twilight Sparkle: I've come to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got you, Echo, and everypony into this mess.
:Rainbow Dash: [even deeper] It was neeeeeveeeeer yooooour faaaaault. Weeeee're iiiiin thiiiiis togeeeeetheeeeer.
:Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I know. My equation wasn't working because I was only thinking of the Equestria side of the portal. But we need to think of both sides. We have to combine them! Don't you get it?
:Pinkie Pie: Not really.
:Applejack: Uh, what now?
:[clunk!]
:[electrical sounds]
:[whoosh]
:Rainbow Dash: [grunts, sighs]
:Twilight Sparkle: [squeals]
:Echo: Does this mean "goodbye, portal"?
:Twilight Sparkle: Nope!
:[crank]
:[clunk!]
:[vortex swirling]
:[whoosh]
:[pulsing sound]
:Twilight Sparkle: I fused the portal with the door! Now it's a doorway between our two dimensions!
:Pinkie Pie: It's like the apple pie! You combined them!
:Echo: You saved the day, Twilight! We can be friends forever!
:Rainbow Dash: Ooh, ooh! Dance party to celebrate! Who wants to see me do the Dash Master?
:Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: Nooooo!
:[credits]