The Revival Of The Ages!

==Transcript==
 
----Chris McLean and his assistant/co-host Chef Hatchet stood on a picturesque beach by some rocks. Chris looked directly into the camera and flashed a perfectly shiny smile.
Chris - Welcome back, Total Drama fans! You're watching what is set to be Total Drama's most epic, dramatic, and over-the-top explosive season in the ages of all history!
Chef - Did you just say 'In the ages of all history'? What does that even mean?
"I'm the host, you don't question the things I say, all right." Chris told his co-host before sarcastically adding. "And thank you for being the first to aggravate my egotism."
"Just get on with it." Chef muttered.
"Okay, then" Chris looked back into the camera.
"Now, the location for this season is known as Total Drama Island. I know that's the name of the first season, but now we've named a whole island after it! You see, we've salvaged as much of the original Camp Wawanakwa as we could and combined it with Pahkitew Island to make an all-new island!"
"Is it really a new island if it's just two islands combined?" Chef wondered.
"Shut up, and don't ask me any more questions." Chris whispered to his co-host. "Anyway, you know the drill. We're bringing in some familiar faces to compete for one million dollars. Here they come now!"
A large carrier helicopter hovered above the water by the beach.
"First, let's meet our contestants from Pahkitew Island." Chris said. "Say hello to Shawn, Sky, Rodney, Ella, Dave, and Sugar!"
All the contestants that were mentioned fell out of an open hatch in the helicarrier and down towards the lake.
"Come on! We don't even get parachutes this time!" Dave exclaimed shortly before he hit the water.
"Glad to see some things never change." Chris remarked. "Next up, let's meet our Revenge of the Island competitors. Mike, Zoey, Brick, Cameron, Anne Maria, and Jo! Come on out here!"
The mentioned contestants fell out of the helicopter next down into the water.
"I'm glad I know how to swim now…" Cameron remarked as he fell.
"All right, let's move on to our contestants from season one." Chris said. "Say hello to Heather, Alejandro, Gwen, Courtney, Duncan, and Owen!"
The final batch of contestants fell down from the aircraft and splashed down into the water with Owen practically creating a title wave when he landed. Chris was quick to take out an umbrella after Owen hit the water, shielding himself from the splash.
"Yep, we've got some of the best contestants Total Drama has to offer." Chris turned back to the audience. "So stick around while these guys crawl out of the water. Because it's time for, Total. Drama. Ascension!
The camera cut back to the beach with Chris and Chef on it. All the contestants had crawled out of the water and onto the sand where they were still dripping wet.
Chris - So people, how do you feel about being back?" 
"I did not agree to being dropped out of a helicopter again!" Courtney protested. "I'm going to call my lawyer and sue this show for everything it's got!"
Chris - Actually, you did agree. You see, this is why it pays to read the fine print on your contracts. 
Confessional: Heather
Heather - Ugh… I've been back on this island for less than five minutes and I hate it already.
End Of Confessional
Chris - I’m not joking about the fine print by the way. We made sure to specifically include a sub-clause that said-
Duncan - OKAY, WE GET IT! WE HAVE TO COMPETE! GEEZ!!!