Chancellor Cole

What is there to say, about Chancellor Cole from The Legend of Zelda, Spirit tracks? He is just so fucking sad.
== Tragic Backstory ==
He has none
== Current Tragedies ==
iwas going to say he was eaten by Maladus but i dont hink I can call that a trageddy bc Coal thoguht it was......kind a hot 0////0. And so, Cole decided upon his fate to be devoured.
Maladus became weak in knees at such affection shown towards a monster as himself, and the two engaged in a passionate make out session to sweeten up Cole's meat. However, this was a grave mistake for both parties, as Maladus's kneecaps gave out, revealing that all of Maladus' joins were teeth. Oh no! They're getting away !
Cole now embarks upon a quest to retrieve The Kneecaps of Maladus, to finally be consumed and return to the earth in his true form.
== Tragic Forecast ==
Null
== Weaknesses: ==
Sans Cookie's up special can kill him upon contact.
== Tragic Trivia ==
He was circumcised in an emergency surgery to save his floppy little worms, only for all the worms to fall off. His surgeon was Metatron.