The HHW Aerial Tramway

Written with the help of a fantastic AI
== Chapter 1 ==
"Everyone, we're going on another vacation. And this time... we're not using the HHW Bus!"
This statement from StrawberryMaster, aka SM, shocked the HHW users. After the failures of The HHW Bus, The HHW Airplane, The HHW Ship and, of course, The HHW Flying Saucer, what else could they use?
"After much discussion with my lawyers, I am proud to announce that from now on, we're using The HHW Aerial Tramway! And some of you aren't invited. Sadface." 
The audience was silent for a moment. Then, one person spoke up. "What about the rest of us?"
SM smiled at him. "See Gied, some of you are just too... weird to be there. That's why only a few users are going. I left a surprise for the rest of you though... you're all going ziplining in this random Colorado mountain I've never heard of. Maybe Lucarius knows about it, but I don't care. Goodbye!"
With those words, SM disappeared into thin air. Everyone stared after him as he vanished. One by one, each user went off to their own destination.
A while later...
"It's great to go on this trip with all of you.... Gregory, Hasselhoff, HHC, and of course, Stephen the oven."
You laugh along with your hosts. "Now, some of you may be wondering what happened to the others. Well, they're all enjoying a crappy adventure in whatever Colorado mountain they're in. But they're obviously very far from Estes Park, so we're safe! Now, let's do what we're supposed to do. They'll be fine."
The tram takes you to the edge of a beautiful, clear lake.
"Look! A lake! I could buy it and then use it to dump all of my nuclear waste!" says Hasselhoff with glee. You look around at the surrounding forest and mountains.
"I could be an animal here. A moose or bear perhaps."
"They would probably get you and eat you," says HHC.
"Maybe!" you reply. "But at least I know I'll be better than Gied and his horrible PvP skills. What a loser."
"Speaking of Gied... I wonder what he's doing now."
Meanwhile, on the other side of Colorado...
"Uh.... guys? I think we're lost," Gied said to the other users.
"What? We're not lost," Hype says. "We just have to go a little further, that road ends over there."
"Are YOU sure?" Gied asks again. "Technoblade obviously would've gone over that way."
"Gied, nobody cares about Technoblade," says Bob.
"But I'm a PvP God!"
"Keranique, what do you have to say about Gied's claim?"
"AsrielTheLatvian, self-proclaimed PvP god and Technoblade wannabe, lost to a user with a touchpad and a downcaster, yet claims to be a PvP god! Sad!" she replied with a smirk.
"SHUT UP KERANIQUE" Gied screamed, hitting himself in the head with his closed fist and falling to the ground.
"Good riddance. Let's follow that road and hope we can start our ziplining adventure there" Bob says.
"Well, at least ziplining will be fun. I wonder what could suck as much energy," Hype says as the two walk down the road.
As Gied walked down the road, he suddenly stopped. "I know this place!"
"Really? You've never been here before," Bob says. "It's pretty obvious that you're actually high."
"No, really! This is that mountain that shows up in that anime..."
"Boring Gied, nobody cares. Go to sleep." replied Brick with an angry sigh.
"It was also in that popular show! The one with all the ponies!"
"Ponies? Gied, I think you ate too much weed," replied Bob. 
"No! I'm serious! I remember watching that with my dad when I was little! We always laughed so hard when the ponies would..."
"Gied, just go to sleep," snaps Roy.
"Aww."
"Damn it, Gied! Can't you just go to sleep!?"
"Fine," he says, laying down.
"Good. Now let's continue," says Bob.
And with that, the group continued their journey as SM & Friends enjoyed the silent, dreamless night in the other side of the state. In the morning, a new adventure awaited them.
== Chapter 2 ==
SM & Friends had spent the night in a small cabin in the mountains. They were tired, but happy to wake up for another day of adventures.
"So, what should we do today?" asked HHC.
"Oh, I have an idea! Let's go to that lake we saw yesterday and dump radioactive waste into it!" replied Hasselhoff.
"That sounds like a bad idea. Radioactive water isn't good for anything except maybe swimming pools. I know Cooper will like it if we do that," says HHC.
"Fine, let's go find a swimming pool then. It shouldn't take too long, maybe."
As the group went to find the nearest swimming pool, the other group of HHW users were still trying to find their location in the map.
"So uh, I think we were supposed to go north but instead we went west and I think we're lost,"
"North is just up ahead. Hey Bob, thoughts?" asked Hype.
"Yeah, I can see a mountain up ahead. Let's try to find our way up there and figure out where we are."
"Works for me. So.... should we split up or something?"
"Yeah, that's a good idea. We'll split into two groups: one group will have Gied, and the other group will have everyone else not named Gied."
"Got it. Wait what-"
The groups then followed their orders and went their separate ways: one group had Bob, Hype, and several other HHW users. The second group, consisting of Gied and no one else, went northeast. 
In the other side of Colorado... SM & Friends were finishing dumping radioactive waste into a pool. Or well, they tried to - there was no waste available so they filled it with leaves and dirt. Everything was going surprisingly well, until a man spotted them.
"Hey... what are you doing to my pool? This pool cost me a small fortune! And you ruined it! THIS IS STUPID AND REASONLESS!" he said.
"Whoa, calm down there... uh wait... Ryne?" SM asked, confused.
"Wait, how do you know my name?"
"Because this is SM from HHW!"
"Oh, wow.... I'm sorry SM, it was wrong of me to call this stupid and reasonless. My pool is now getting more awesome by the minute," Ryne said with a big smile on his face, maybe too big. "So folks, do y'all want to play a game of CAH?"
"Do we have a choice?"
"Not really. But if you do, take this chance to meet some of my other friends!"
"CAH? What's that?" asked HHC.
"It's a card game. You can play it against other people or AI. We have quite a few versions, but this is the basic set. You can also make your own custom decks and stuff."
"That's great. But where are your friends, Ryne?" SM asked.
"Oh, they're all in the house. Come on in and meet everyone!"
"I don't think-"
"Come on, it'll be fun! Unless you really dislike my games.... I hate you SM..."
"Nah, I'll play."
At this point, the group goes into the house and to their surprise, encounter several food items in the couch.
"These are my friends! This is Robert the watermelon, Ian the eggplant, Martin the.... meatball, and last but not least, Frank the... erm...... pizza."
"So basically, you have no friends," Gregory said.
"Shut up.... you're so rude.... you have a talking oven as your friend and I can't even be friends with a pizza...????"
"Ryne, see, Frank the pizza is rotten, you can't trust him."
"No, no, he's okay. He's my friend. I'll explain the rules while you go fetch your decks."
"I have a better idea," Hasselhoff says. He grabs all of Ryne's food friends and begins smashing them with a hammer.
"Hey!" says Ryne.
"What the hell are you doing?" yells SM.
"Working on the greatest food festival ever! Except it'll have no food!"
"You killed my friends.... I hate you Hasselhoff.... you're stupid and reasonless and I don't want to play CAH with you guys now...."
"Too bad. We're ending this vacation and taking you to rehab." SM said. The others agreed with him.
"Wait.... no..... no folks please no.... no...." Ryne said to no avail as he was carried away by the others. With Hasselhoff driving Ryne's 2017 Toyota Corolla, they all went to the nearest rehab clinic.
"Oh well, I guess we'll have to leave our HHW aerial tramway adventures for another day." HHC said.
== Chapter 3 ==
Many hours later... the group arrived in the nearest rehab clinic. However, it wasn't a normal rehab clinic: it was a church.
"Why are you taking you to a church..."
"This is no normal church, Ryne. It's SM's Wishcasting Church, sponsored by NunoLava1998!" said Gregory.
"Ah... wait... Nuno... you wonder how she's doing... hope she's not as annoying..."
"Nuno is male, Ryne."
"Ohh.... that changes your calculations."
The group carried Ryne to the church, and as expected, Nuno was there.
"Bom dia!" Nuno explained. "This is Ryne, right? Ryne, I've been waiting for our little get-together! And today you're going to purify your soul. Follow me." Nuno led the group to a tall room with an image of a tropical cyclone.
"Ryne, this is Pavlof, our God. In the year of 2016, Pavlof came and told me his name, and then I knew I had to build this temple. He also told me that he was missing one thing, and that's your presence, Ryne. So... let's get started! Please go inside the circle."
"What for?"
"You might get scared. We're supposed to be holding hands to help with the purification process."
"I'm not scared." he remarked.
"Well, you might be surprised.... come on, grab a leaf and get in the circle." Ryne then entered the circle.
"Oh Pavlof, the almighty God, may you clean the soul of this human being known as CycloneRyne94, and teach him the ways of wishcasting Pavlof-like storms, and bring him the best of luck when forecasting forever. Amen."
"Amen," everyone outside the circle said.
"How you feel, Ryne?" HHC asked.
"I... uh.... mother? Is that you?"
"Yes, it's me, uh, RyneMom! Haha. Son, oh my, how fantastic you are today. You're getting more awesome by the minute!"
"So, what do we do now?" Hasselhoff asked.
"Let's leave Ryne here and continue our vacation elsewhere. I heard there is an aerial tramway in Aspen!"
"We can use Ryne's car! He won't mind, right Ryne?" "Yes... mom..."
In the other side of Colorado...
Gied had lost the other group and had gone down the mountain he was supposed to stay in. He found a nearby road, and walked through miles of it, waiting for a car to pass. After walking for another mile or so, he encountered a white van with "TECHNOBLADE POSTERS INSIDE" written in its door. This request was irresistible for Gied, who entered the fan and only 5 minutes later realized he was actually kidnapped. "Wait, get me out of here, mysterious person!"
"Haha.... you already know who I am."
"Technoblade?"
"No! Are you like, that dumb? It's me..."
"Who?"
"...MysteryHunter."
"Oh no! Wait, who's MysteryHunter?"
"Goddammit kid, there's a book right next to you called 'The Hurricane Hunter' explaining who am I and what I've done."
"Oh."
"Just scream so that we can make this encounter scarier."
"Ok. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Unfortunately for Gied, he was now gone. The other group of HHW users celebrated this fact. "Gied is gone!" the remaining members cheered.
==Chapter 4==
"So where are you taking me, MysteryHunter?" Gied asked. He was scared.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll love it!"
MysteryHunter drove for about an hour or so. As they were passing through a town, Gied could no longer hold it in any longer.
"I can't take it anymore! Tell me where are you taking me!"
"The toilet..."
"I'm going to die in a toilet? Where the hell are you taking me, damn it?"
"...The Toilet Of Death!"
"I'm going to die in a toilet and this is the best you can do? This isn't even funny!"
"Well, you just have to deal with it. Plus I have to take a dump and you're coming with me."
"...are you serious? I'm going to die in a toilet and you want me to go with you?"
"Well, duh. I didn't kidnap you for no reason."
Gied couldn't believe it. This wasn't the life he chose, and now it was a question of how he was going to die. The horror.
A few minutes later and they pulled into some random driveway. "This is it!"
"Great! Now you're here, we can finish this."
"Finish what, exactly?"
"Oh, it's very simple."
To Gied's surprise, a bunch of HHW users showed up next to MysteryHunter's van and all shouted:
"Surprise!"
"What?" Gied asked, confused.
"This was just a prank, brother, for my TV show!"
"You did all this for a TV show?" Gied asked.
"Yeah! Now, you're going to be on it!" MysteryHunter said, taking out a camcorder.
"Hold on, can I take a selfie?" Gied asked, pulling out his phone.
"Fine..." He took a picture and then entered the toilet.
"Well, everyone, that's it for today. I'm your host MysteryHunter, and I hope I see you all next time!" MysteryHunter said, waving to the audience with a playful smile.
Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location...
"Man, this is the worst TV show in the history of TV shows," said someone, staring at the TV.
"Maybe it's time for my revenge against the HHW users. We need to get them back in line somehow. By doing something illegal, of course."
"What illegal thing are we going to do?" they asked.
"Oh darling... we're going to kill them. Slowly boil them to death in a vat of acid.
"Oh, my favorite."
"You'll get the vat. I'll go find creative ways to kill them."
"Sounds good. I'll go write a script."
Category:StrawberryMaster
Category:Fiction Stories