Sesame Street: Big Bird... Behind the Beak.

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Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? No, I mean really, can you. I heard it was a real place. My understanding of the original program, which is still in syndication today, is that Sesame Street was a real street in New York where a lot of people mysteriously disappeared. There are some things that I'm not under legal disclosure to talk about here, but the truth is that there's something very dark and decrepit under the inner city sewers where Sesame Street was originally filmed. The show was meant to inspire poor, lower middle class urban children to do things such as learn basic shapes and counting. A lot of people don't know about the subliminal mind programming that large media corporations use to train children to be obedient at a young age.
I'm kind of warning you that what you're about to learn is going to mentally scar you. You've probably seen this tape, it's embedded in your mind. If you think carefully, you can remember having seen it. We've all seen it at least once in America. It airs at times on a static tonal frequency which can only be detected by children ages 1-3. What that basically means is that the visuals and sounds can only be interpreted by a child, to an unassuming adult it only looks like the kid is staring at a black screen.
Do you ever hear a kid crying about a hallucination? A monster in the closet or someone watching them in their bedroom window? Allow me to unfold the layers of your mind and remind you of what you saw. You didn't understand it, it just left a feeling of terror in your heart that followed you into adulthood. They want it that way.
Big bird starts by wandering out into the street. He's very dirty. He's at a distance, but there's a visible smile on his beak. There's an overlay of children dancing in Beijing, with Big Bird standing there in a tie. Something was off about big bird. It's really hard to tell what it is. The show broke the fourth wall by talking to the audience, but here, it would probably say your name. The fifty most popular baby names in America were layered over each other with millisecond pauses and enough spacing so the child would hear his or her name. "How's it going michael/jim/steve/dave/john/eric" The slithery whisper is dreamlike. It's now easy to notice that the streets of Sesame street are very dirty. Garbage, insects, filth, rodents and hamburger buns lay in the street. The sewer lines are open and filthy water is flowing down the dirty gutters. Though it was supposed to be the 1970's, the camera fidelity is much more lucid. There was a strip club, but you didn't know what that was at the time.
You remember this, don't you. When big bird put his hand on your shoulder. Don't repress it. "Are you confused?" A voice said. Big bird was slowly walking down the street. The camera was on an axis and turned to face a window. Two men are arguing rather loudly about who spilled coffee on the sofa. It's hard to make them out, though their skins are tinted yellow and orange. One of them with a look of paranoia sees the camera and draws the blinds. Big bird is still wandering down the road. "It's taking me so long to arrive." Big bird says. "Where are all the people?" The voice says. "People? People? I am the people." Says big bird. It was some strange man who resembled both a man and a bird. His oblong kneecaps were distorted and painted orange. He was covered in glued on feathers, paunchy around the center. Eyes were bloodshot. Mouth opened to reveal row after row of sharp sanded human teeth. "Surprise!" It whispers. Face disheveled, eyes are bloodshot, smile is covered in beard stubble. Its head envelops the camera. As a kid, you might've been confused and started crying now.
The camera, which is at about the eye level of a child, acts as the first person viewpoint. It runs in the other direction, down the road. "EAT ME!" the giant bird yells, shambling down the road angrily, shooting weird balloons out of his gullet that explode into splashes of bile. "EAT. ME!" Running down the road now, reaching a set of garbage cans. An angry homeless man painted green is seen in the garbage can. He's covered in insects and spaghetti. "What the fuck do you want?" He yells, throwing a beer bottle that smashes violently. You didn't know what the word "fuck" was at the time. "You want to learn something, kid? I'll teach you a fucking word." He says. "HERPES!" The camera zooms into his face where horrible herpes scars have destroyed his entire right jaw. He gulps down an entire bottle of wine, smashes it and starts chasing after you. No wonder he was grouchy.
The camera starts to run down an alley, removes the boards from a boarded up window and jumps through. The bird man was coming though. He was shrieking violently. The building is filled with smoke.  You heard whispered counting. "1...2...3..." All of a sudden, a vampire man with fangs bites into your shoulder! His face is clearly distorted, and it's a halloween costume. The camera gestures throwing the vampire back. It's almost as if you're a human with a head for a tv. Or that's what the character in the tv is. You can see the body as the camera pans down and he bites into your thigh. Hundreds of bats envelop the screen. You lay there while the camera moves around. When the camera becomes coherent again, big bird is at the window, smiling at you. His eyes are glistening.
It's just the sound of screaming as hundreds of people outside bang on the door. Hands try to get in and grab you. Maybe it was meant to tell kids what to do when they see a stranger. The camera runs down the hallways, jumps over a lattice on the fifth story of an apartment complex and reaches a roof. There's a hole leading downward, as though it's been worn in. You go down there. Inside there was an obese, naked blue man shoving cookies down his throat. "GIVE ME COOKIES!" He yells. He dislocates his jaw and shoves pound after pound of cookie down his throat. He's hairy and developed a rash. His naked flesh is glued to the floor. He hasn't moved in years. He picks up a knife and stabs himself in the belly. Highly realistic gore including bile from the cookies spills out everywhere. "FEED ME MORE!" He yells. He continues to eat while the peristalisis of his intestines causes the excess half digested food to spew out of his belly. He starts to eat himself, biting off his lips and eyes, digesting himself down to nothing. A blue mass of hovering flesh lay on the floor. You could hear crying now.  You were probably crying yourself.
The remaining bones form a skeleton that gets up and walks over to the window. Was it a cartoon? What was it? Do you remember?  It smiles something fierce and moves over to the window, holding a knife. Its hob-knob knees bob up and down as it lures you over to the window, then pushes you forward. It starts to stab you. The camera lay on the floor now. You can hear two men moaning "Fuck me Bert!" in the background. You can hear in through the wall. It's disturbingly homoerotic. Blood begins to trickle down the floorboards. The camera lay on its side.
You remember what happened next, right? Little demonic visages which had no physical form enveloped the screen. Big bird at the window, smiling and smiling away as pieces of flesh are carried off to some indiscriminate location. You probably had nightmares about those little creatures sneaking into your bedroom and taking you away, piece by piece. A live wooly mammoth, not computer generated. A real wooly mammoth comes in, tusks and all, and stomps on your skull. Your brains, which look like the same pasta that covered the man in the garbage, flies everywhere. Except this pasta is moving. Pasta doesn't move.
You may have left the room now, but most kids stayed. A small amount of hypnotic noise kept them glued to the television set. It was all a dream anyway. A shot of a brick wall drawing shut in a back alley marked by a strange occult symbol seals Sesame Street closed. Grover is seen as his normal puppet self. He's sitting on a low wall around some foliage. "Hey kids, I had that dream too. We all had that dream. But dreams aren't real." A voice should have said something, but nobody was there. Grover takes out a bottle of pills and pours them down his throat. They fall to the floor but the jaw pretends to chew them. "It's all going to be alright from now on.  Hey-" All of a sudden the puppet jolts up. "It feels like something is touching me." Grover starts to squirm. "His hand...IS IN MY ASS!" Grover screams. Grover coughs up vomit and blood that shoots out of his throat based on some weird pipe configuration. The acids dissolve the puppet as a smiling man gets up from behind the low wall. His hand is indeed up Grover's ass. "It was me all along!" the man smiles. It was a short, thin, mentally challenged man with slivered eyes painted blue. He was naked and hobknobbing around. He opens his mouth wide. Those spaghetti strands come back. They're tiny microbes of bacteria. They expand like fleshy intestines. Intestines, veins, and blood vessels. Cancerous sores begin to stretch out of his mouth, enveloping the trees, the wall. They rise high into the sky. Long, infinite strands of fleshy intestinal passages that drip blood and take over the street. The man's eyes explode and he melts in the floor. Hundreds of people run in, but they have no skin. Their visible intestines and organs are static as they move across the floor. Some of them are falling apart. Their hearts, lungs and livers collapse on the floor as the sound of screaming is heard.
You remember the close up, don't you. As one of them approached and enveloped the camera, hollow real eyes, bloody skull, flesh pulsing. Big bird comes back baring his tooth smile as the flesh envelops everything. I know you remember now. He grabs the camera, grabs you, nuzzles you in his winged breast. "The world's a scary place, isn't it." He holds you close, though it's terrifying. You can hear the breathing. "And all of the dirt, the trash, and garbage is in you. You are the bacteria." He smiles wide as his mouth full of microbes leech around his face. "But I'm not your friend either. And wherever you go, whoever you love, whatever back alley you walk down. I'll be watching in the window." He smiles wider. "I'm not going to hurt you. But I'll always be watching..."  His vice like grip is tighting around you. His eyes turn demon like and bite into your neck. Sharp teeth bite down as blood trickles down your neck. Your head is an old '80s bubble television attached to a body.
Inside that tv is a scene of the same scene. And inside that tv, there's a scene of the same scene. It seems to go on forever. "1...2...3" the vampire counts. The television explodes. I have something to tell you. I work for the company that produced this episode. This was a repressed memory that's been deep within you since childhood. The next time you watch an episode of Sesame street, even if it's on in another room, be careful. They say that the puppet has a hand up its ass, and the man with the puppet has a hand up his ass. And that man, with that puppet, has a hand up its ass. And that man and another man. Infinite men. "1...2...3..."
Category:From the CJayMarch Wiki
Category:TV
Category:Historical Archive