Headhunters 5: The Dirty Dozen

==Introduction==
GuilloTIMEs Up. 
==In Memorium: The Guilloteam==
Heading into SNF, it was clear that this week was coming down to four teams: What Hurts Moore, Henry VIII, Tee Diggs my RIP, and Guilloteam. Henry VIII was at greatest risk, as they had already finished playing for the week. But they also had points in their pocket, whereas the highest projected team among them (Guilloteam) would have to earn every penny. 
What Hurts Moore managed to Indiana Jones his way out of trouble on the very last drive of the day for New York, when Darren Waller became Travis Kelce and suddenly was open on every play. That took him ahead of Henry and spared him for the week. 
That meant Monday Night Football came down to the three Bungalow Boiz, and someone from LIVE! was going to end the night DEAD!
That someone was Guilloteam. With the fate of the season resting on Quentin Johnston, Guilloteam found themselves asking QuWHEN is Johnston going to show up? The answer? Never. He was shut out on two targets, keeping his reception total for the season at a robust 6. It was a disappointing ending to the year, unless you were Tee Diggs my RIP. Then it was amazing, because Ferguson didn't even do enough to pass Henry VIII on the weekly leaderboard. Meaning if somehow Johnston had decided to have the best game of his career, Diggs was on the chopping block. 
But as with most choppings, this didn't come down to one player. The nail in Guilloteam's coffin may have been his over-investment in the Arizona Cardinals. He traded for Josh Dobbs, who fell short of projection. He banked on Emari Demercado, who was this week's hottest waiver add only to attempt two runs the entire game (3.38 total FP). And he drafted Hollywood Brown, who fell short of his projection by half. In all, the three players combined for 30.61 on a projected 49.64. 
But let's not let Josh Allen off the hook. He fell 11 points short of projection with Guilloteam at the Buffalo game looking him right in the eyes. It was the ultimate betrayal against the adopted member of Bills Mafia. And while I'm sure Guilloteam ownership would say it was all worth it, one has to ask: does Josh Allen hate Pat? One just has to ask, that's all. 
This was a different type of season for Guilloteam. Sure, he still lead the league in roster moves through six week (27). But he was trying to save money, vs. bidding big early. It didn't work. Maybe some small tweaks to the lineup could have kept them alive (Pitts over Hock, CLE D over ATL D, Wilson over Brown and Powerll over Demercado), but ultimately it was starters coming up lame under the bright lights of primetime football. And for that reason, Guilloteam is the first of the Bung Boiz to leave us in 2023. 
The Guilloteam:
==Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)==
Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)
Team 	2023 Finish	2022 Finish	2021 Finish	2020 Finish	2019 Finish
Hasta Laviska Baby 	18th (-17) 	1st (+16) 	17th (-7) 	10th (+2) 	12th
Out of Luck 	17th (-13) 	4th (+-0) 	4th (+1) 	5th (+9) 	14th
Bobecue Chicken 	16th (-1) 	15th (-12) 	3rd (+14) 	17th (-10) 	7th
Jethro's Glorious Team	15th (+1) 	N/A 	16th (-7) 	9th (+7) 	16th
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	14th (+-0) 	14th (+2) 	19th (-6) 	3rd (-2) 	1st
The Guilloteam 	13th (-2) 	11th (+2) 	13th (-6) 	7th (-4) 	3rd
Tied for the worst finish in franchise history, Guilloteam has now failed to breach the top ten in three straight seasons. 
==Dead Money==
Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.
Dead Money 2023
Dead Money	% of Total Eliminated Cash
$4,465 	74%
Guilloteam leaves the building with a whopping $776 left to spend. 
==Top New Releases==
Another interesting week as yet again injuries plagued the team getting chopped.
#Josh Allen
#Kenneth Walker III
#T.J. Hockenson
#Christian Watson
#Marquise Brown
==Week Six Bidding Results==
Week Six Bidding Results
Player 	Winning Team 	Winning Bid	Next Highest Bid
Davonte Adams 	What Hurts Moore? 	$302 	$277 (Bad Boys II)
Deebo Samuel 	Henry VIII 	$153 	$121 (Tee Diggs my RIP)
Alexander Mattison 	The Guilloteam 	$145 	$69 (Tee Diggs my RIP)
Justin Jefferson 	Monty's Python 	$127 	$124 (Bad Boys II)
Rhamondre Stevenson	What Hurts Moore? 	$111 	$74 (Müller Lite)
Gardner Minshew 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	$92 	$54 (The Guilloteam)
Desmond Ridder 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh	$91 	$25 (What Hurts Moore?)
Jordan Love 	deCaPitated 	$77 	$25 (What Hurts Moore?)
Jerry Jeudy 	Henry VIII 	$33 	$31 (Jeff Probst' Tribe)
Emari Demercado 	The Guilloteam 	$33 	$31 (Henry VIII)
Khalil Herbert 	Henry VIII 	$32 	$1 (Tee Diggs my RIP)
Las Vegas Defense 	Henry VIII 	$4 	$2 (The Guilloteam)
AJ Dillon 	Müller Lite 	$3 	N/A
===Quick-Hit Thoughts===
*Last Year's Most Expensive Player: Patrick Mahomes - $550 (The Guilloteam..aww RIP)
* Biggest Overpay: Alexander Mattison ($76 over next highest bid - The Guilloteam...stay hot Guilloteam)
*Narrowest Margin of Bid Victory: Justin Jefferson ($3 over next hight bid - Monty's Python..there were a pair of $2 victory margins lower down but for the price tag, this one was relatively closer!)
*Last year at this time, Henry VIII overpaid for players like Terry McLaurin ($51 w/next highest bid $5) and Alec Pierce ($46 with no competing bids). This year, the kid is at it again, bringing in Khalil Herbert ($32 and on IR).
*Tee Diggs, a man addicted to overspending. On October 6th, Desmond Ridder went for $1. This week, Diggs drops $91, then doubles down by spending $92 on another QB. He now has four QBs on his roster, and neither of the QBs he bid on this week actually started. But this is a superflex league, so don't knock it!
*A lot of people who lost bids this week actually won. Guilloteam, thank you for outbidding me on Demercado...that would have been embarrassing! And Tee Diggs, you're welcome for letting me snag Deebo Samuel, whose injury almost cost me the season. Alex Mattison, for $145? Sorry you missed out on that one Tee, but now he's back on the market and I'm sure at a discount!
==Excessive Spend ==
Excessive spend is anything over a single dollar more than the next highest bid for the player you won, and does not take into account the talent level or value of the player.
Excessive Spend
Team 	Excessive Spend
Never Done This Before	$412
deCaPitated 	$260
Headless Horsemen 	$202
Tee Diggs my Chubb 	$190
Henry VIII 	$188
Jethro's Glorious Team	$146
Bobecue Chicken 	$138
What Hurts Moore? 	$136
Müller Lite 	$113
The Guilloteam 	$107
Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$74
Bad Boys II 	$54
Extra Tight Ends 	$36
Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$24
Monty's Python 	$8
Al Snows Fav Squad 	$2
==Money Spent Per Week==
Money Spent Per Week
Week	Budget Spent 	Budget Spent (2022)	Budget Spent (2021)	Budget Spent (2020)	Budget Spent (2019)
2 	$2,315 (16 Players)	$1,560 (15 Players)	$9 (2 Players) 	$1,173 (12 Players)	$1,339 (7 Players)
3 	$1,423 (15 Players)	$1,160 (10 Players)	$1,283 (10 Players)	$1,033 (7 Players) 	$1,902 (15 Players)
4 	$1,256 (14 Players)	$1,475 (10 Players)	$657 (8 Players) 	$1,182 (11 Players)	$1,614 (11 Players)
5 	$1,612 (16 Players)	$1,740 (13 Players)	$1,376 (11 Players)	$181 (4 Players) 	$1,743 (14 Players)
6 	$1,203 (13 Players)	$1,355 (14 Players)	$1,231 (10 Players)	$1,542 (10 Players)	$1,018 (11 Players)
This is the first week where a record was not broken for number of players won in auction. Will week 7 be the first week that under $1,000 is spent? 
==Week Five Results==
Week Five Results
Finish (Last Week)	Player 	Total Points
1 (2) 	Müller Lite (Roger) 	208.67
2 (1) 	Extra Tight Ends (Keeling) 	206.50
3 (3) 	Monty's Python (Derek) 	193.22
4 (8) 	Never Done This Before (Scott) 	190.79
5 (11) 	Jeff Probst' Tribe (Joe Cola) 	183.79
6 (4) 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack (KVR) 	179.10
7 (5) 	Headless Horsemen (Andrew) 	175.43
8 (7) 	deCaPitated (Chris P) 	174.62
9 (10) 	Obi-Wan Mahomie (Wolfe) 	174.12
10 (6) 	What Hurts Moore? (Coach Tebo) 	160.11
11 (12) 	Henry VIII (Commish) 	154.93
12 (13) 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (Nate)	153.44
13 (9) 	The Guilloteam (Pat) 	142.75
14 	Al Snows Fav Squad (Zach) 	0
15 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	0
16 	Bobecue Chicken (Bob) 	0
17 	Out of Luck (Papa) 	0
18 	Hasta Laviska Baby (Jared) 	0
*Biggest Climber: Jeff Probst' Tribe (^6)
*Biggest Faller: What Hurts Moore?/The Guilloteam (v4)
Very little movement this week in the standings as teams basically performed on par with last week. Henry and Tee Diggs both moved up a single spot each to spare themselves from the chopping block. The top three remained the same, with Müller and Extra Tight swapping positions atop the board. In total, 9 teams were within two positions of where they finished a week ago. 
==Draft Dodgers==
Team Results Based on Draft Position
Draft Pick	Team 	Week Eliminated
1 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	ALIVE
2 	Extra Tight Ends 	ALIVE
3 	The Guilloteam 	6
4 	What Hurts Moore? 	ALIVE
5 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	5
6 	Henry VIII 	ALIVE
7 	Müller Lite 	ALIVE
8 	Never Done This Before 	ALIVE
9 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	ALIVE
10 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	4
11 	Monty's Python 	ALIVE
12 	Bobecue Chicken 	3
13 	Out of Luck 	2
14 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	1
15 	Headless Horsemen 	ALIVE
16 	Jeff Probst' Tribe 	ALIVE
17 	Tee Diggs my Chubb for sure-oh	ALIVE
18 	deCaPitated 	ALIVE
Eliminations are creeping up the draft board.The bottom four remain untouched. 
==Kings of the Castle==
===1. Müller Lite===
Apparently now Curtis Samuel is discount CMC in fantasy? Another 14.65 points for that bum this week, and Müller didn't even use him. That's how loaded this team is, though 37 from Minnesota defense certainly helps. Still, it's Byemageddon time for Lite and we'll see if he can müster up the roster he needs to not get chopped. First to worst might be a first in Headhunters. 
===2. Extra Tight Ends===
Sure, Puka Nacua might be turning back into a Pumpkin Nacua before our eyes, but there is still no accounting for the worth while investment this team made in Tyreek Hill (FAAB) and Kelce (draft cap). Kelce added an insane 19 points in TE bonus for ETE over the last two games. To see what ETE is doing without a QB2 is downright sinful. Their only week 6 starter who has a bye in week 7 was their lowest scorer, DeAndre Hopkins. 
===3. Monty's Python ===
A thrifty spender, Monty has the third-highest remaining FAAB and also somehow has managed to snag Justin Jefferson for a potential championship run later this season (that is, unless the Football Gods are cruel and MIN shuts him down). Monty faces their greatest challenge yet, as their namesake will be missing some time right as Ekeler returns. Monty being out right as Henry hits the bye could spell trouble. 
===4. Never Done This Before===
Ever since taking out a second mortgage on home to bring in Mark Andrews and Jahmyr Gibbs, Never Done This has been pretty quietly performing well. But now the ghosts of investments past comes back to haunt. Justin Fields is doubtful, leaving just Geno Smith on the roster and no real money to spend on a QB. There's still lots to love about this team and with so many junk yard dawgs still in the mix, Never Done is likely Not Done just yet. 
=== 5. Jeff Probst' Tribe===
Down Danny Dimes and Cole Kmet looking more like Cole Cement because he sunk like a brick down the TE rankings this week, Jeff Probst got the job done. Amon-Ra the Sun Gawd returned and showed us all why the Egyptians were so obsessed with him back in the day, and Tua Tagovailoa is unstoppable as long as he stays healthy. With Barkley back, this dog is more than just bark. Yeah, back to back dog things. Get over it. 
== On the Chopping Block==
===12. RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh===
Tee Higgins would have been better off staying RIP for this week as he brought nothing to the table for Diggs for sure, and it's honestly a small miracle this team is still standing after starting the worst of the three QB options in the superflex spot (Bake at 13.74 vs. 30+ from both new additions). They also had to role with Latavius Murray, who I'm pretty sure had to leave at halftime because the nursing home called wondering why if he was going to make it for supper. With a hilarious amount of QBs on the squad, look for Diggs to swing something this week to infuse some talent in the flex spots. 
===11. Henry VIII ===
Commish finally dropped some dough this week, and his new arrivals averaged 3.04 and Deebo didn't even finish the game. It's never a good sign when Devin Singletary is outscoring your two WRs combined. Adding to the issues, Brock Purdy looked like Brock Ugly out there vs. the Browns and Jimmy G, the glass man, broke his back or some shit against the Patriots. This team has been in the bottom all season, and could be beyond saving. 
===10. What Hurts Moore?===
After "accidentally" picking up Davante Adams, Moore found themselves in a SNF showdown that went to the wire. Moore is loaded at WR, so much so that they started Zay Flowers over Mac Jones in the Superflex spot...and it actually paid off! Holy fuck Mac Jones sucks. But I digress. The big issue here is at RB, where Tank Bigsby continues to come up Smallsy and their only other rostered RB is Miles Sanders, who has a week seven bye. Hello Mattison!? 
===9. Obi-Wan Mahomie===
The only team in the league that has yet to crack 1,000 points, yet somehow still very much alive. With Jeff Wilson and Diontae designated for return to IR, Obi-Wan might get some help. And just in time, because I wasn't sure how they were going to survive without Tyjae Spears as their RB2, complimenting the unstoppable Antonio Gibson. Meanwhile, the clock is starting to tick at QB. Both Mahomes and Stafford are off week 10.
=== 8. deCaPitated===
Lamb and Chase both are going on fall break in week 7, which means the league's all-time leader in points will have to scrape something together with Tutu, Amari, and Michael Thomas. They're also facing the prospect of rolling out Jordan Love and Deshaun Watson to replace C.J. Stroud and Tyrod Taylor, who both performed well enough to keep CP afloat. It's a pretty balanced team, but need to survive without the top of his top-WR duo for this coming contest. 
==Average Scores of Eliminated Teams==
Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
Team 	Average Score	Weeks Played
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	181.30 	5
The Guilloteam 	169.07 	6
Jethro's Glorious Team	163.20 	4
Out of Luck 	160.68 	2
Bobecue Chicken 	140.44 	3
Hasta Laviska Baby 	97.49 	1
==Narrow Defeats==
Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:
Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
Team 	Margin of Defeat	Week Eliminated
Hasta Laviska Baby 	1.21 	1
Jethro's Glorious Team	4.13 	4
The Guilloteam 	10.69 	6
Out of Luck 	14.67 	2
Bobecue Chicken 	21.19 	3
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	50.59 	5
==Unique Players Started==
New stat category, who dis? 
This week I got curious about how many unique players (Defense included) were started by each team. I assume that the longer into the season you go, the more unique players start? As teams get eliminated, I'll throw their number up here and we can see how things progress throughout the season. 
The table can be sorted by players and also by week eliminated. 
Unique Players Started
Team 	Players Started	Week Eliminated
The Guilloteam 	25 	6
Bobecue Chicken 	16 	3
Al Snow's Fav Squad 	15 	5
Jethro's Glorious Team	12 	4
Out of Luck 	11 	2
Hasta Laviska Baby 	9 	1
==Rulers of the Kingdom==
2023 first place finishers:
Top Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Monty's Python 	228.65
2 	Extra Tight Ends 	227.45
3 	Headless Horsemen 	266.15
4 	Monty's Python (2) 	260.79
5 	Extra Tight Ends (2)	264.57
6 	Müller Lite 	208.67
We were very close to having our first week in HH history without a 200pt scorer (outside of the Bills/Bengals catastrophe to end last season). We were also a Tony Pollard breakaway run away from having Extra Tight Ends wearing the crown for the third time in six weeks. 
== Dungeon Dwellers==
2023 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:
Low Scorers by Week
Week	Team 	Score
1 	Extra Tight Ends 	98.70
2 	Never Done This Before 	150.50
3 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	124.83
4 	deCaPitated 	130.88
5 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh 	138.70
6 	Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh (2)	153.44
 Tee Diggs living his life on the edge. 
== Single Season Scoring Records==
As teams get eliminated, their single season performance will appear here. Bolded lines indicate performances from the current season.
All-Time Single Season HH Point Records
Score 	Player 	Year
3,697.30	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2022
3,581.72	Beach McBungalow (Tee Diggs my Chubb)	2022
3428.76 	CP 	2019
3402.18 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2019
3363.88 	CP (deCaPitated) 	2022
3121.28 	Return of the Mac 	2021
3049.02 	Bobecue Chicken 	2021
3015.53 	Mixon Beer 	2020
3013.13 	Müller Lite 	2021
2997.67 	The Guilloteam 	2019
2980.07 	Last Coach Standing 	2020
2833.37 	Out of Luck 	2022
2743.25 	@FFDraftScott 	2020
2733.07 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2020
2709.59 	Mac 	2019
2677.20 	Out of Luck 	2021
2675.14 	Wildcat (no QBs no problem) 	2022
2620.18 	The Titanic 	2021
2614.60 	burrow for sure-oh 	2022
2438.96 	Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack 	2022
2422.98 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2019
2377.31 	The Guilloteam 	2020
2285.51 	CP 	2020
2282.91 	Out of Luck 	2020
2262.36 	Bad Boys 	2021
2233.57 	Soul Survivor (burrow for sure-oh) 	2021
2134.22 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2021
2046.35 	LIVEWithIt 	2019
2034.86 	Laser Rocket Arms 	2022
1941.63 	Bobecue Chicken 	2019
1939.02 	Beach McBungalow 	2021
1936.45 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2021
1862.19 	Henry VIII 	2022
1817.79 	Carole Pigskin 	2020
1749.51 	The Guilloteam 	2021
1736.99 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2019
1611.76 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2020
1512.91 	Neck-Fix and Chill 	2020
1509.41 	CP 	2021
1483.70 	Last Coach Standing 	2021
1473.18 	Henry VIII 	2021
1439.40 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2020
1357.00 	Henry VIII 	2019
1351.99 	Muller Lite 	2022
1300.35 	The Guilloteam 	2022
1238.56 	Bluedevils 	2019
1182.09 	Mixon Beer with Liquor 	2021
1160.81 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2021
1132.61 	Henry VIII 	2020
1116.98 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2020
1055.63 	Mac 	2020
1049.89 	LIVEWithIt 	2020
1014.40 	The Guilloteam 	2023
991.57 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2021
975.59 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2019
906.48 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	2023
806.27 	Mixon It Up With Mahomie 	2022
768.10 	Shotti's Bugatti 	2021
717.82 	Out of Luck 	2019
713.12 	I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls 	2020
708.44 	The Executioner 	2022
652.79 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	2023
544.55 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2021
489.42 	It's Blitz! Track 2 	2022
481.22 	@FFDraftScott 	2019
459.96 	Bobecue Chicken 	2020
421.33 	Bobecue Chicken 	2023
324.28 	Bobecue Chicken 	2022
321.35 	Out of Luck 	2023
294.62 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2021
286.36 	Ya Hate 2 See It 	2019
262.69 	Bad Boys 	2020
123.21 	CoachKnows 	2022
115.16 	Mixon Beer 	2019
97.49 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	2023
96.56 	Steve Blackman's Nun 	2020
==All-Time Combined Points Scored==
Same as above: eliminated teams will have their 2023 season added to the total. Bolded lines indicate that the record has been updated through 2023.
Guilloteam's 1,014.40 in 2023 puts him temporarily in 2nd place on the all-time scoring list. However, Tee Diggs will usurp that total upon elimination this season. Several other teams have a shot to knock Guilloteam out of the top five. 
All-Time Combined Points Records
Score 	Player 	Years Played	Per Season Avg.
10,587.56	deCaPitated 	4 	
9,439.24 	The Guilloteam 	5 	1,887.85
8832.65 	Out of Luck 	5 	1766.53
8626.98 	Tee Diggs my Chubb 	4 	
8075.70 	Al Snows Fav Squad 	5 	1,615.14
7879.51 	Never Done This Before 	4 	
7594.94 	Obi-Wan Mahomie 	4 	
7201.35 	Hasta Laviska Baby 	5 	1440.27
6987.92 	Monty's Python 	4 	
6665.96 	burrow for sure-oh (defunct) 	3 	2221.98
6439.42 	Bad Boys 	4 	
6196.22 	Bobecue Chicken 	5 	1,239.24
6076.59 	Extra Tight Ends 	4 	
5824.98 	Henry VIII 	4 	
5186.35 	Neck-Fix and Chill (defunct) 	3 	1728.78
4586.98 	What Hurts Moore? 	3 	
4365.12 	Müller Lite 	2 	
3711.72 	Jethro's Glorious Team 	4 	927.93
1885.08 	Shotti's Bugatti (defunct) 	2 	942.54
1238.56 	Bluedevils (defunct) 	1 	1238.56
698.91 	Phillip's Team (defunct) 	1 	698.91
391.19 	Steve Blackman's Nun (defunct)	2 	195.60
==Remaining Budget==
Remaining Budget as of 10/17/23
Player 	Total Budget
Müller Lite 	$819
Obi-Wan Mahomie 	$809
Monty's Python 	$796
Tee Diggs My RIP for sure-oh	$585
Henry VIII 	$559
Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack	$510
Jeff Probst' Tribe 	$431
Headless Horsemen 	$394
Extra Tight Ends 	$307
What Hurts Moore? 	$286
deCaPitated 	$205
Never Done This Before 	$24
The Guilloteam 	0
Al Snows Fav Squad 	0
Jethro's Glorious Team 	0
Bobecue Chicken 	0
Out of Luck 	0
Hasta Laviska Baby 	0
==Conclusion==
Happy Hunting!