Solo Santa

==Overview==
Santa takes over for the boys on Thanksgiving and listens to voicemails, takes calls from a professional radio plugger and Your Drunk Uncle at Thanksgiving, discusses a variety of topics, and plays surf rock and Christmas music.
==Episode Summary==
Matt Fox and Dillon Minacci are busy fulfilling their civic duty, having been summoned for jury duty in the Dairyverse. They didn’t get anyone to cover for their show, but Santa Claus saw the empty studio and figured he’d fill in for them. He invites listeners to call in to tell him what they want for Christmas.
Among various yuletide topics, Santa discusses his penchant for visiting tropical locations such as Bora Bora, the Bahamas, and Bermuda, taking life one day at a time with a mai tai in one hand and a beautiful woman in the other - Mrs. Claus, of course. Santa searches his sack for music to play, and plays a mix of surf rock and alternative Christmas music.
While discussing Thanksgiving, Santa reveals that the colonists were all on the Naughty List.
Santa listens to a voicemail from Bilal the Dragon. His hoard has been mostly depleted so he asks Santa for more gold or help finding a job. He laments the state of the Austin job market and his difficulty finding work as a dragon. Santa is hesitant to give Bilal gold but offers to reach out to his local connections that are on the Naughty List and owe Santa a favor, whose initials are E.M., J.R., and A.J.
Santa discusses the pros and cons of being Santa Claus, the elves' repeated attempts to unionize, and his strained relationship with Mrs. Claus.
He listens to a voicemail from Pitchbot 3000, who asks Santa to help him find and understand love. Santa ponders whether robots should get things for Christmas and the current state of artificial intelligence. He says that Cupid knows more about matters of love and says he’ll get him on the phone later, but doesn’t.
He takes a call from Chip Flames, who has never heard of Santa Claus. Chip takes a liking to Santa after Santa reveals he gained his immortality when he stole a dead person’s clothes. Chip asks the listeners for legal help with FCC law, then once again requests “Don’t You Worry” by Black Eyed Peas, David Guetta, and Shakira.
Santa takes a call from Your Drunk Uncle at Thanksgiving, who has been to (and been kicked out of) 520 Thanksgiving gatherings so far. Santa observes they are basically counterpoints: they are both immortal beings, but Santa is invited into homes and leaves gifts, whereas Your Drunk Uncle at Thanksgiving is never invited anywhere and is never invited back.
Santa forgets to decide whether or not the music genres contradict.
==Characters==
Santa Claus
Bilal
Pitchbot 3000
Your Drunk Uncle
==Featured Music==
Andy Williams - "Happy Holiday / The Holiday Season"
The Ventures - "Walk, Don't Run"
Khruangbin - "Christmas Time is Here"
The Mermen - "Run Don't Walk"
Jimmy Buffett - "Ho Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rhum"
Insect Surfers - "Black Sea"
Sufjan Stevens - "I Am Santa's Helper"
Sheverb - "Burn the Breeze"