Unikitty x Spongebob Parody Chocolate With Nuts

[Unikitty is sitting inside of a box humming. She checks her watch. The mailman opens the mailbox, which turns out to be Unikitty is sitting inside her mailbox]
Unikitty: Hi, mailman
[The mailman yells in fear, and runs off]
Unikitty: Okay, [gets out of the mailbox] see you tomorrow!
[Puppycorn and Dr. Fox walks up]
Puppycorn: Hey, the mail's here!
Unikitty: Let's see... [Looks through the mail] Pet Pet, Pet Pet, Pet Pet, Pet Pet, Pet Pet, Pet Pet, Pet Pet! A magazine!
[Unikitty looks at the magazine]
Unikitty: That's funny, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest.
Unikitty And Puppycorn: [They look inside the magazine] Whoa!
Unikitty: Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living!
[A picture of a rich person's swimming pool is shown]
Unikitty: This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool!
[A picture is shown of an old, rich person surrounded with bags of money]
Puppycorn: [Points at the man's feet] This guy's got shoes!
Richard: Oh, that's my magazine [Takes the magazine] finally is here. i've been waiting three months for that.
Unikitty: Hey, Richard, how do the people in that magazine get all that money?
Richard: They're entrepreneurs. They sell things to people.
Unikitty: What kind of things?
Richard: How should I know? Things people wanna buy. [walks off] Now keep your paws off my mail.
Unikitty: That's it, Fellas! We gotta becomes entrepreneurs!
Puppycorn: Is that gonna hurt?
Unikitty: That's right! Quick, Puppycorn, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?
Puppycorn: Uh... [sweats] More time for thinking.
Unikitty: No, something real, an item, something you would pay for.
Puppycorn: [pops up behind him] A chocolate bar?
Unikitty: That's a great idea, Little Bro! We'll become traveling chocolate bar salesmen!
[The scene changes to Unikitty and Puppycorn exiting the Unikingdom Mart carrying many chocolate bars]
Unikitty: Fancy living, here we come!
Puppycorn: Make way for a couple of ontre-prenyouers! [Unikitty and Puppycorn walk up to a house]
Unikitty: [Unikitty runs up and knocks on the door, Old Timey Mustache Man opens the door]
Unikitty: Good afternoon, sir, could we interest you in some [holds up chocolate bar] chocolate?
Old Timey Mustache Man: Chocolate? Did you say, Chocolate?!
Puppycorn: Yes, sir. With or without nuts?
Old Timey Mustache Man: Chocolate?! Chocolate?! Chocolate! Chocolate!
[Unikitty and Puppycorn slowly back away, and then run off. Old timey Mustache Man chases them while madly screaming "Chocolate!". The scene cuts to Frowntown]
Puppycorn: Big Sis, what are we doing in FrownTown?
Unikitty: Because, we are good bar salesmen Okay, the first guy didn't count. This is our real first step! [Rings the bell Master Frown opens the door] Good morning, sir! Would you like to buy some chocolate?
Master Frown: Chocolate bars, eh?
Unikitty: Yes, sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen!
Master Frown: Ha! A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise!
[Puppycorn is shown holding many chocolate bars in his paws]
Master Frown: No, no no no, wrong. You guys wanna be good salesmen, right?
Puppycorn: Oh, most certainly, sir!
Master Frown: Well, [chuckles] no self-respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these! [He holds up a bright-orange bag]
Unikitty: Wow... what is it?
Master Frown: It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead! It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort!
[Unikitty tries to touch it]
Master Frown: [pulls bag away] But, I'm wasting my time. [Walks inside] You don't need these bags.
Unikitty and Puppycorn: We need 'em! We need 'em!
Master Frown: I'm just kidding. You can have them.
Unikitty: Thanks, Frownie!
[Master Frown grins, the scene changes to the Master Frown counting money. Unikitty and Puppycorn are walking away with armfuls of bags.]
Master Frown: So long, Guys! Happy hunting! [Laughs when the two aren't looking] Suckers... [walks back inside]
Unikitty and Puppycorn: [singing as they run off] Fancy livin', here we come! La la la la, la!
Unikitty: Let's try next door!
[Unikitty walks up and rings the doorbell with his foot, Master Frown comes out]
Master Frown: Yes?
Unikitty: Master Frown? Say, weren't you the same citizen who sold us these candy bar bags?
Master Frown: I... don't recall. But it looks to me like you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You two lady killers are too smart to be without one of my patented Candy Bar Bag Carrying Bags. [Holds up two large maroon bags]
Puppycorn: We'll take 20!
[Scene changes to Unikitty knocking on the door of a different house, Q.T comes out]
Q.T: Oh, what can I do for you two nice young kids?
Unikitty: We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?
Q.T: That sounds heavenly! I'll take one.
Unikitty: One chocolare bar coming up!
[Unikitty attempts to pull out a chocolate bar, but keeps pulling more bags, while Puppycorn is pulling more bags.]
Q.T: [Q.T looks at her watch] I don't have time for this. I'm out.
[Q.T goes back inside, and then Unikitty pulls out a chocolate bar]
Unikitty: I... got it! One chocolate bar for the nice— [Sees something off camera; it is revealed to be Old Timey Mustache Man, still screaming]
Old Timey Moustache Man: Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!
Unikitty: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! [Old Timey Moustache Man chases Unikitty Puppycorn, And Dr. Fox again while screaming "Chocolate!". The scene cuts to Unikitty and Puppycorn sitting in a diner] We're not doing so well bro. We need a new approach, a new tactic.
Puppycorn: Hm... I got it! Let's get naked!
Unikitty: No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate. There must be something. What was the reason we bought those bags?
Puppycorn: He said we were mediocre..
Unikitty: That's it! He made us feel special!
Puppycorn: Yeah, he did... I'm going back to buy more bags!
[Puppycorn runs to the door]
Unikitty: No, wait, Little Bro!
[Puppycorn freezes in place]
Unikitty: Why don't we try being nice?
Puppycorn: Oh, okay.
[Scene changes to Unikitty and Puppycorn walking up to a customer's door]
Unikitty: Remember, Guys, flatter the customer. Make him feel good.
[Puppycorn knocks on the door, Stocko opens the door]
Stocko: Hello?
Puppycorn: I love you.
[A harp is heard playing, Stocko stares blanky at Unikitty and Puppycorn for a few seconds, then she slams his door shut in extreme disgust, a tuba is heard playing after the slamming]
Unikitty: I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, little bro. Let me try.
[Unikitty rings the doorbell, Stocko opens the door looking scared]
Stocko: Please. G-Go away!
Unikitty: Um, [clears throat] H-H-How you doin'?
Stocko: How am I doing?
Unikitty: Wanna buy some chocolate?
Puppycorn: We got him now!
Stocko: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, blubber boy?
[Puppycorn's belly is bubbling]
Puppycorn: Hee hee, it tickles!
Stocko: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang.
[She holds up a picture of an obese self at age 13]
Stocko: You can keep that for 5 bucks.
Puppycorn: I'll take 10!
[Cut to Unikitty with a sad look on her face walking, a sad song plays]
Unikitty: We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I got a feeling that were too easily distracted.
[Cut to Puppycorn staring at the pictures]
Puppycorn: Huh?
[Far cut]
Unikitty: [raising her paw] Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house.
Puppycorn: [Removing pictures from his face] Huh?
Unikitty: [Holding out her paw] Let's shake on it.
Puppycorn: [Looking at Unikitty confused] Did you say something?
[Cut to the other customer's house, Unikitty and Puppycorn entering the view]
Unikitty: Remember, Puppycorn, focus.
[Cut to the door, Unikitty knocks on it, Buzz answers]
Buzz: Yes?
Unikitty: Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars.
[Puppycorn somehow moves up to the customer with his eyes going in and out back and forth]
Buzz: Why is that silly dog here staring at me?
[Cut to Puppycorn's eyes]
Puppycorn: I'm, just, focusing.
[Cut to the inside of the customer's house]
Buzz: [Annoyed] Okay! Back up, Jack!
[He slams the door on Puppycorn's eyes, PUppycorn is heard saying "Oof!" from the other side of the door]
Puppycorn: Nice place you got in here.
[cut to the next scene. Puppycorn is eating a chocolate bar]
Unikitty: I can't understand what were doing wrong.
Puppycorn: I can't understand anything.
Unikitty: There's something to this selling game that were just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that!
[Cut to the sign]
Puppycorn: [reading the sign] Eat Cabbage Chips, they're delicious.
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn]
Unikitty: They are most certainly not delicious!
Puppycorn: [smiling] Not the way I use them!
[Cut to Unikitty]
Unikitty: Yet they sell millions of bags a day!
[Cut to Puppycorn]
Puppycorn: Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many.
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn]
Unikitty: [Happily] That's it, Puppycorn! We've gotta stretch the truth!
Old Timey Moustache Man: CHOCOLATE!
[Unikitty and Puppycorn run off, cut to Really Old Edith's house]
Unikitty: We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, and then you come in for the kill!
Puppycorn: The kill!
[Unikitty uses the doorbell, Really Old Edith answers]
Really Old Edith: Yes?
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn]
Unikitty: Hello, young lady.
[Unikitty winks at Puppycorn, Puppycorn then chuckles]
Unikitty: We're selling chocolate. [Getting a closer look at Really Old Edith] Is your mother home?
[Cut to Really Old Edith]
Really Old Edith: MOM!
Really Old Edith's Mother: [Entering from the right side of the house] What, what, what's with all the yelling?
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn who have stunned looks on their faces. Cut back to Really Old Edith's mother]
Really Old Edith's Mother: You just can't wait for me to die, can you?
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn]
Really Old Edith: They're selling chocolate.
Really Old Edith's Mother: Chocolate?
Really Old Edith: Yeah!
[Cut to Really Old Edith and her mom]
Really Old Edith's Mother: What?! What are they selling?!
Really Old Edith: Chocolates!
Really Old Edith's Mother: What?
Really Old Edith: Chocolates!
Really Old Edith's Mother: I can't hear you!
Really Old Edith: They're selling chocolates!
Really Old Edith's Mother: They're selling chocolate?!
Really Old Edith: YEAH!
[Cut to a close-up of Really Old Edith's mother smiling]
Really Old Edith's Mother: Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate.
[Cut back to view Really Old Edith and her mom]
Really Old Edith's Mother: I ALWAYS HATED IT!!!
[Cut to Unikitty sweating]
Unikitty: Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for...
[Puppycorn comes from the top left]
Puppycorn: You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.
[Cut to Really Old Edith and her mom, Really Old Edith is heard saying no constantly]
Really Old Edith's Mother: Live forever you say? I'll take one. [Really Old Edith slaps her face. Cut to the outside, Really Old Edith pays Unikitty a dollar]
Really Old Edith's Mother: [From inside house] Come on, you lazy Edith! [Really Old Edith] Start rubbing me with that chocolate!
Really Old Edith: [looking at the gang angrily] I hate you. [Slams door. Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn]
Unikitty: If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!
Puppycorn: [Raising paw] Hooray for lying!
[transition to Unikitty and Puppycorn. Puppycorn is seen with a look that was about to make him laugh]
Unikitty: It'll make your hair grow.
[Cut to Green Dad]
Green Dad: Great! My wife's trying to grow a beard!
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn. Puppycorn has a sad face this time]
Unikitty: They'll make you sound smart.
[Cut to Craig holding money]
Craig: [southern accent] I SHALL TAKE 20!
[Cut to Puppycorn]
Puppycorn: It'll keep your face from getting any uglier.
[Cut to the two Puppycorns]
Puppycorn 2: Just in time.
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn over and over]
Unikitty: They'll make you fly!
Puppycorn: You'll fall in love!
Unikitty: They'll bring world peace!
Puppycorn: You'll walk through walls!
Unikitty: [echoing] You'll rule the world!
[Cut to a door, Unikitty and Puppycorn are wrapped in fake casts. Cut close to Puppycorn]
Puppycorn: This'll be the best lie yet!
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn in Frowntown]
Unikitty: Yeah, Master Frown will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate!
[Master Frown opens door]
Master Frown: What can I do for you guys?
[Cut to Unikitty]
Unikitty: Hello, Master Frown. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.
Master Frown: Really?
Puppycorn: Yes.
[Cut to the Master Frown, who apparently is in a cast covering his entire body]
Master Frown: It's a small world. What's the matter with you guys?
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn, who are completely stunned]
Unikitty: [nervously] Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding.
[Cut to Master Frown]
Master Frown: Some guys have all the luck.
[A violin begins]
Master Frown: I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms.
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn. They both have faces meaning that they were about to cry.]
Master Frown: At night, [Unikitty looks up sadly] I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
[Cut to Master Frown, the wires snap]
Master Frown: [About to fall] Oh, no.
[A glass breaking sound is heard while the Master Frown grunts while hitting the steps]
Master Frown: [On the last step] Ow.
[Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn]
Unikitty: Quick, Puppycorn, let's help him!
[Cut to Master Frown and Brock's apartment Unikitty and Puppycorn enter from the left]
Unikitty: Careful. Put him down gently.
[Puppycorn drops Master Frown's head and a glass breaking sound is heard, cut close to Master Frown]
Master Frown: [In pain] Ow.
[Cut to Unikitty]
Unikitty: Poor, poor man. Is there anything, and I mean, anything, we can do to help you?
[Cut to Master Frown]
Master Frown: Well, there is one thing... as you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars. [gestures his head over to a massive stack of chocolate bar boxes. cut to the next scene. Cut to the Master Frown looking out his window as Unikitty and Puppycorn walk by]
Master Frown: Such nice boys, [far cut to Master Frown] it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A suckeroonies like those three! Ha ha ha!
[Cut to a close-up to Master Frown laughing while looking at his cash, zipping his cast off]
[cut to the Unikingdom street]
Unikitty: [grunting] Don't get me wrong Puppycorn. It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to.
[Unikitty makes another grunting noise, she trips up on a rock and falls, cut to Unikitty with a box flat on her face]
Unikitty: Let's admit it lil bro. We're failures.
Puppycorn: [Walking in from the left] I can live with that. [Places box on Unikitty's box and sits on it, making a small squeaking sound]
Unikitty: Let's change our names to Why and Bother.
[Old Timey Moustache Man appears behind the box]
Old Timey Moustache Man: CHOCOLATE!!!! [Screams and knocks Unikitty, Puppycorn, and the boxes over. Cuts to Unikitty and Puppycorn .Unikitty and Puppycorn babble]
Unikitty: [simultaneously with Puppycorn] No! Don't hurt us! Please don't hurt me! No!! NO!! Please!!
Puppycorn: [simultaneously with Unikitty] No! Have mercy on me! Please spare me! Please don't murder us! What do you want from us!
[cuts Old Timey Moustache Man laughing manically]
Old Timey Moustache Man: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I got you right where I want you... [pulls out his gun] IT'S TIME TO SAY GOOD NIGHT SO I CAN STEAL ALL OF YOUR CHOCOLATE!!!!
[The screen goes black before Old Timey Moustache Man is heard firing his gun at Unikitty and Puppycorn. Unikitty and Puppycorn can be heard wailing in agony. Cut to Unikitty and Puppycorn in the hospital lying down in a hospital bed to recover after being shot multiple times. Hawkodile, Richard, and Dr. Fox are seen coming in to visit.]
Category:Unikitty Parodies
Category:Parodies