Shadowmoth

"I'm not like other cats. Everyone has their own way of getting through things. If mine happens to be pessimistic, then that's my problem, not yours. Respect me and my decisions, and in turn, I'll respect you and yours."
== Description ==
a black based tom-cat with a white arrow-shape on his chest. he has yellow-green eyes. he looks the most alike to his mother. he has scar marks on his forehead and nose, a nick in his left ear, and a scar on his lower right leg.
== Personality ==
shadow is a reserved yet pessimistic feline. he has no filter and just says whatever is on his mind, which mostly comes out as blunt and aggressive. he still holds a mysterious air about him despite his proud nature. the tom can become rather overprotective of those that he becomes close with, which can be quite the opposite of his usual distant self. despite his many flaws, he is a determined and observant tom because of his disabilities.
== History ==
born to shadowhunter and nighthawk with cranestep, thrushpaw, and duskwing. under the circumstances of his parents' forbidden relationship, he was born under a twoleg's house on neutral territory. his parents split up the family; crane and shadow went to thunderclan with shadowhunter, while thrush and dusk went to windclan with nighthawk. he lived out his kithood with the understanding that he only had his brother, crane, and that his father was a loner. during this time, he became aware of the fact that his vision was still blurry even after growing up. he passed it off for always being tired, a trait that would later follow him in life. he never made mention of this to anyone, thinking of it as nothing.  
the mentor assigned to him as an apprentice was flickerdrop, an older feline that had been nearing the end of her warriorship. despite this, she still decided to train him. on their first outing into the territory, he found out that he was indeed near-sighted, which further explained why everything was rather blurry when he was a kitten. he had thought nothing of it then, but now it posed a challenge to his training. the scars on his face were due to him running face first into a tree while trying to learn to run without his eyesight. he learned, through several moons of thorough training, how to survive being a warrior who was near-sighted, including how to use his other, more heightened senses. he broke his leg while trying to learn to hunt, and even though it healed, is became a minor inconvenience for him. whenever the weather changes or he overworks himself too much, it starts to ache.  
he became a warrior on december 15, 2019 and was named shadowmoth. he was granted his first apprentice, frostpaw, a few weeks after his ceremony. he is unsure as to why he was given an apprentice that can see, as he doesn't know how to train someone who can use their eyes. this poses a challenge for him.  
he doesn't have very good relations with his mother and brother. shadowhunter tried to understand him, but she cannot fully grasp his pessimistic nature, in turn creating a rift between them for their failure to truly see eye-to-eye. shadowmoth does not resent his mother for this, as he knows that it is inevitable that any cat will every truly be able to understand him. cranestep, on the other hand, does not try and understand shadowmoth at all. their rift is merely due to their clashing personalities. it can be said that shadowmoth hates his brother; whether or not this is entirely true is left up in the air.
shadowmoth is aware of the fact that he has another sibling by the name of moorpaw. he does not know where this she-cat has come from, or why she bears the familiar pelt of his mother. but he has no opinion of her yet, as they have not formerly met. he has not breached the subject with shadowhunter, as the elder she-cat seems to be harboring a painful secret that he does not wish to bring to light. more for her sake than his own. he doesn't really care for the secret either, even if perhaps he should. 
recently, shadowmoth has met polarsong, a kind-hearted warrior who is lost without her eyes. born with sight but suddenly losing it at apprentice age has given her quite a few setbacks. shadowmoth appears determined to help her, the first cat that he hasn't yet turned down harshly. he feels a deep connection to her because of their shared sight problems. 
his apprentice has become frostcloud and he doesn't want another apprentice that can see well because he feels that he won't do well with them, like frostcloud. he's relied that the tom became a warrior before he went insane. and a few days after his apprentice aged up, his mentor passed. he doesn't know how to really process his feelings about her death yet and becomes silent upon her mention as he considered her to be his second mom. 
== Relationships ==
((just relations that have been rped; excluding family))
=== 🌹 love ===
* polarsong : <3
=== 🌸 crush ===
* closed
=== 🌻 family ===
* shadowhunter [mother] : neutral; slightly tense
* nighthawk [father] : n/a
* flashpaw [brother] : n/a
* cranestep [brother] : tense
* thrushpaw [brother] : n/a
* duskwing [sister] : n/a
* elkpaw [brother] : n/a
* moorpaw [sister] : n/a
* twistedkit [brother] : n/a
* lilykit [daughter] : n/a
* shadowpaw [son] : n/a
* dimkit [son] : n/a
=== 💐 friends ===
* flickerdrop [mentor] : close
* polarsong : likes
=== 💮 acquaintances ===
* moonpaw : neutral
* frozenstep : neutral; slight dislike
* hazelscruff : dislikes
* dark-kit : neutral
* silent : neutral; curious
* emberstrife : slight dislike
* alderflame : neutral
=== 🥀 enemies ===
* cranestep [brother] : tense
== Ceremonies ==
Alderflame was excited. He was about to do his first warrior ceremony since Oakstar was so busy. He made it to the top of the high rock, being careful to not slip and make a fool of himself. He cleared his throat to prepare himself. “All cats old enough to catch their own prey, may you gather around the high rock for a clan meeting!” He yowled out with enthusiasm. He looked down at the camp from the high rock, waiting for cats to emerge.
Shadowpaw looked up towards the high rock with disinterest, curling a lip upwards as he noticed how many cats were crowding around. The tom relunctantly got up, giving up his warm spot in favor of seeing what this meeting was all about. He couldn't remember what Flickerdrop had told him as of late, something about a ceremony or whatever. He honestly couldn't remember, even though she had sounded excited in a muted sense of the word. 
Alderflame scanned his forest green eyes around the sandy camp trying to find a certain cat. Eventually his eyes caught sight of him. His paws ached in anticipation. It was clear the apprentice had no idea what was happening. “We have an apprentice that is ready for the next step in their life. To become a warrior.” Alderflame raised his slightly square shaped head to the sky. He looked back down. “Shadowpaw,” He paused. “Please come forward.” He purred. He would be giving this apprentice their warrior name! What an honor!
The dark furred apprentice blinked slowly, trying to contain his shock. What was this? Shadowpaw stood and sauntered forward on cautious paws, tilting his head as he gazed up towards Alderflame. He didn't know what to make of this yet, as he still couldn't exactly pinpoint what Flickerdrop had spoken to him about previously. It didn't help either that the deputy was a blur of colors from where he stood now before the crowd of cats.
As Shadowpaw cautiously made his way, Alderflame smiled. When he made it up Alderflame cleared his throat again. “Shadowpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?” Alderflame could feel the fur on his spine tingle. This apprentice really was about to start the next chapter of their life... and he was starting it.
Shadowpaw blinked slowly this time, realizing all too late what this actually was. He was becoming a warrior- The apprentice lifted his chin proudly, and mewed, "I do." He would finally be able to stand among his clanmates as a warrior, no longer being stuck in the apprentice's den at 15 moons. His disability had held him back some but now he was ready. He was really ready. 
Alderflame felt his heart soar. "Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Shadowpaw, from this moment on you will be known as..." He paused. What would be a good name? Hmm.... Oh! "Shadowmoth. StarClan honors your spirit and courage, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan." He tried to contain the happiness inside of him as he mewed out one last sentence. The reddish-brown and white tom hopped down to touch his nose to Shadowmoth's shoulder as a congratulations. He stepped back and dismissed the meeting. He uttered out another sentence to the new warrior, Shadowmoth. "Congratulations, Shadowmoth. " Alderflame nodded at the young tom. 
Shadowpaw blinked again, not really even like sure of what to do with himself. When he heard the new name reach his ears, he couldn't help but feel a weight lift off his chest. Why was he so relieved? Eh, whatever. The tom flicked his tail and flinched slightly when the tom came down towards him, eventually dipping his head to the deputy. Shadowpaw, now Shadowmoth, flicked his yellow-green gaze around the camp as the cats called out his new name.
== Facts ==
* he is nearsighted (can only see 2.5 ft in front of him)
* he doesn't know how to express his feelings very well
* his father is windclan
== Other ==
​persona ➝ estp-a
likes ➝ sarcasm
dislikes ➝ help
fears ➝ not being good enough
strengths ➝ observant
== Quotes ==
​"I'm seeing impaired mom." 
"I'm not like other cats. Everyone has their own way of getting through things. If mine happens to be pessimistic, then that's my problem not yours. Respect me and my decisions, and in turn I'll respect you and yours." 
"I mean, I kind of have to have one. I can't just be a bum. I'd get nowhere in life. And maybe things will turn out better in the end. Everyone says so but I'm the one that gets the final opinion." 
"Listening comes with consequences.." 
"You make another good point. WOW, you're so full of wisdom." 
"Who needs to see my teeth? Why is that a thing that exists? I need to bare my canines at you to be friends? Ain't that more of a threat than anything?" 
"I mean, who needs friends? They abandon you in the end.. why even try to find them? If they're going to exist, then let them come to you. It's a waste to go searching for them when they might not even be there." 
"Despite the fact that I'm seeing-impaired, I'm not giving up that quick. If I wasn't here for a reason, I would have been burned up in the fire back there." 
"My eyesight is all I have known. You can't just tell a deaf kid that they should stop focusing on the fact that they can't hear, because that's the only thing that they know. You wouldn't understand because you've always had your sight and your hearing, and all that. But to someone who didn't have it or are losing it, of course they're going to focus on it. What else are we supposed to do when it's something that should have been apart of us? We're not normal." 
"Your ears are going. Maybe you're becoming deaf. We can be 'going blind and deaf' team or something." 
"I wouldn't mind. I could fight you any day. Just bring it on. You know me, I'm bound to trip."
"Use other senses if one is stupid."
"Are you trying to get rid of me or something? You know I can't even hunt yet and I'm 12 moons old. And here you are expecting me to mingle. Absurd." 
"Nobody likes me but hey I don't like me either so it's fair." 
"Flickerdrop is really the only friend I need apart from you. And you [shadowhunter] barely take my crappy attitude."
"Call me a mousebrain if you want, I don't care. I hate myself more than the whole world ever could."
"You don't have to pretend to be strong all the time." 
"Your blindness is not your weakness. It is what makes you stronger."
"Would a cat who can't hear tell herself she can't have kits? Would a cat who can't speak tell herself she can't have kits? Why are scars, inside and out, the only validation that we have? Why can't we grow as better cats because we want to? I don't know what beeswax you've been through, but your pain is just as valid as anyone else's. What someone else says about your scars that have a negative affect on your well-being are not true. The scars are apart of us make us into who we are today. Sure if we did not have them life would be easier. But life is never easy and neither should we let it control us."
"There's not very many who can handle me apparently. I don't see what's so wrong with telling the truth. Sugar-coating things gets you nowhere in life. Sure the truth can hurt, but it always shapes you into a better cat."Category:Tom
Category:Thunderclan
Category:Apprentice