Ernie and Bert Sketches: Sesamstrasse

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In 2003, Sesamstrasse, the German co-production of Sesame Street, was given the permission to use Ernie and Bert in locally produced segments. Kevin Clash trained Martin Paas (Ernie) and Carsten Morar-Haffke (Bert) for the parts. Most of the sketches that were made were small, outdoor sketches lasting 10-20 seconds. During 2006, these sketches were used after the credits of each episode. In 2007, they were moved to the front of the episodes as a cold opening. Most outdoor scenes were filmed in and around the city of Hamburg.
In 2009, they got their own apartment with a balcony on Sesamstrasse above Frau Kowalski and made remarks about the street story. They also appeared in newly taped segments where they are on vacation in a caravan, which are remakes of various classic American sketches.
==Original==
Picture	Episode	Description
 	2334 	Ernie shows Bert a "Pustekuchen" (puff cake).
 	2335 	Bert and Ernie are standing among the ships in the Hamburg harbor and Bert tries to tell Ernie that it's very loud, but Ernie just can't understand Bert, due to the loud noise around them.
 	2336 	Ernie and Bert visit the Erlebnis-Zoo (adventure zoo) in Hannover. Bert tells Ernie that elephants notice everything around them. Ernie then asks the elephants if they've seen the umbrella he lost. Shortly after, an umbrella is thrown to him by the elephants.
 	2337 	Ernie puts on a bicycle helmet and offers one to Bert as well. When Ernie is asked why, he tells Bert that they're standing under a maple tree (Ahornbaum), so they could get hit in the head by falling A's. Bert starts to laugh at Ernie; then an A drops down on Bert's head.
 	2338 	Ernie claims that he is able to do a weather forecast, and proves it by saying that in the spring there will be rain, in the summer there will be sun, in the fall there will be storms and in winter there will be snow.
 	2339 	Ernie pushes Bert off on a skateboard, while Bert tells him that he's got a question. Ernie wonders what Bert wanted to ask, as Bert comes racing by, yelling "Where's the brakes?," and crashes. Ernie remarks that it looks like the brakes worked.
 	2340 	Bert likes the forest because it's so quiet that you can hear the wind in the trees. Then Ernie comes bursting in with a radio saying that the forest is great because you can play loud music. Bert insists for Ernie to turn down the volume; yet naturally, Ernie can't hear due to the loud music. Just as Bert is shouting, Ernie turns the music down, and asks him why he needs to shout.
 	2342 	Ernie and Bert visit the Hamburg Stadtpark (city park), carrying balloons. Ernie asks Bert if he realized that their balloons are different. Bert's is small and green and Ernie's is big and red. Just as Ernie finishes his remark, he lets go of the balloon by accident. Bert then tells Ernie that he knows what else makes their balloons different: Ernie's flies away and Bert's stays.
 	2348 	Ernie asks Bert if he would like chocolate ice cream, and describes it in great detail. Bert gets excited and really wants one. Ernie then tells him that there's an ice cream vendor right behind them, and to please get one for him as well.
 	2350 	Ernie is singing while Bert tries to read his book. Bert tells Ernie that he "geht ihm auf den Keks" ("Keks" means cookie, yet this idiom means "to get on someone's nerves"). Ernie then asks what kind of cookie it is. Bert tries to explain, to no avail.
 	2355 	Bert can't understand why his trumpet isn't playing correctly. Ernie knows why, and pulls out his small rubber ball.
 	2358 	A phone rings and Ernie answers using an apple, but there's no reply. Bert starts to laugh and thinks it's silly that Ernie thinks the apple is a cellphone. Ernie agrees, and takes the banana from Bert and starts a conversation with Grover.
 	2363 	Ernie thinks that the goats like Bert, as they keep saying "beeeert".
 	2366 	Ernie asks Bert what fish he hopes to catch. Bert starts to mention a few fish when something starts to pull his line. He pulls it in and Ernie quickly says that he knows what kind of fish that is: a shoe fish.
 	2368 	Bert can't believe that Ernie is using a banana as a cell phone.
 	2372 	Bert is counting cookies, when Ernie tells him that he's able to count backwards. He takes Bert's cookies and eats them one by one, as he counts down from ten.
 	2375 	Bert asks Ernie why he has his ice hockey outfit on, since they're going to a soccer match. Bert is even wearing his soccer jersey. Ernie replies that there can only be answer to that: they are going to an ice hockey match now, and Bert will have to change.
 	2376 	Ernie asks Bert if he wants to collect mushrooms. Bert informs Ernie that they're in a city and mushrooms only grow out in a forest. Ernie then empties his paper bag of mushrooms right on the sidewalk and asks Bert again.
 	2377 	Ernie and Bert each have a cookie, but Bert thinks they has a problem: the cookies don't look the same. Ernie's cookie has a gummy bear on it and his doesn't. Ernie solves the problem by eating the gummy bear.
 	2378 	Ernie plans on communicating with the ships in the Hamburg harbor with his trumpet. Bert scoffs, until Ernie blares his trumpet and the ships actually respond with their foghorns.
 	2383 	Ernie tells Bert that elephants can count, but Bert doesn't believe it. Ernie then asks the elephants how many cookies Bert currently has in his hands, the elephants reply with one noise. Bert laughs as he holds two cookies in his hands. Ernie then tells Bert that he asked how many Bert cookies currently has in his hands (at this exact moment) and snatches one cookie from Bert.
 	2385 	Ernie talks with the elephants in the Erlebnis-Zoo (adventure zoo) in Hannover, and claims that the elephants asked him about "the yellow egghead with the striped sweater."
 	2389 	Both Ernie and Bert are thirsty. Bert is excited as he discovers a empty bottle on the ground. Ernie wonders why Bert is so excited, as the bottle is empty. It turns out that Bert is excited because the bottle cap is one that he is missing in his collection, and starts to search the area for more bottles.
 	2390 	Ernie is quite impressed with Bert's sunglasses, because they make everything look darker. He has second thoughts about giving them back to Bert, since Bert is afraid of the dark.
 	2392 	Bert wonders what the ship's cargo is in the Hamburg harbor. Ernie says, "that's easy to tell," and as he tells Bert what the cargo is, the ship's horn blows, rendering his answer inaudible.
 	2393 	Ernie sings a lullaby for the owls at the Erlebnis-Zoo (adventure zoo) in Hannover. After all, owls are night creatures and usually sleep during the daytime. However, Bert does not think singing will help the owls fall asleep. At first Ernie does not know what to do, then he decides to just count sheep for the owls.
 	2396 	Bert explains to Ernie that he should look both ways while crossing the street. However, as he looks both ways, he doesn't notice the pole he walks into.
 	2399 	Ernie asks Bert what the arrow in the Hamburg harbor means, and Bert tells Ernie that it's just a sign, showing you the way. Ernie then asks the sign to show him the way to the toy store.
 	2400 	In front of the Hamburg city hall, Ernie stops Bert from eating an apple, saying it might be a poisonous, magic apple. So, Ernie is going to taste it for him, eating the entire fruit. Afterwards, Ernie comes to the conclusion that it was not a magic apple.
 	2402 	Bert wonders where the various cargo ships are heading. Ernie says that he knows and as he starts to tell the ships route but every time he says a location the ship's horn blows, rendering his answer inaudible.
 	2404 	Ernie notices that Bert has his own cell phone. Standing right next to him, he calls his buddy to tell him that he thinks it's great, so he can call him whenever.
 	2406 	Bert enjoys the tranquility of the forest. He thinks it's nice that you can stand still and listen to the birds. Ernie joins him, saying that he thinks that forests are great because you can yell as loud as you can without disturbing anyone; disturbing Bert.
 	2407 	Bert is about to sneeze, so Ernie hands him a "Tütetuch" (bag-kerchief). Bert informs Ernie that the right word is "Taschentuch" (handkerchief). Ernie tells him that that would be correct, but it doesn't come from his "Tasche" (handbag), but from his "Tüte" (paper bag) and therefore it's a "Tütetuch."
 	2408 	Bert arrives just as Ernie is ready to predict that there will be bad weather in 10 seconds. As Ernie starts the countdown Bert tells him that he could not possibly tell how the weather will be in 10 seconds. It turns out that Bert is correct: the bad weather started 3 seconds early.
 	2409 	Bert asks Ernie why he has a silly hat on. Ernie tells Bert that he has it on to remember something, but what was it? Ernie then remembers that the hat he is wearing is to remind him that he has a present for Bert. Ernie pulls out a hat and puts it on Bert's head; the hat was to remember that he had another hat for Bert.
 	2410 	Ernie has a bag full of various candies, and asks Bert if he would like one. After Bert says yes, Ernie asks him which kind he'd like to try, listing all the different candies he has in the bag. Bert says that he would like a regular one, to which Ernie replies that unfortunately he doesn't have any regular ones, and leaves.
 	2412 	Ernie tells Bert that there's a snake standing behind him. At first Bert doesn't believe him, since a snake can't stand because it doesn't have any legs. Ernie continues to tell Bert about the snake behind him, until Bert turns around and runs away scared. Ernie then offers the snake one of his jelly beans. The segment was filmed at the Erlebnis-Zoo (adventure zoo) in Hannover.
 	2414 	Ernie asks Bert if the letter Z is on display at the Erlebnis-Zoo (adventure zoo) in Hannover. Bert tells Ernie that of course it isn't. They then see the letter Z in the cage they are standing next to.
 	2415 	Ernie is worried about the howling wolves that he hears. He asks Bert for a handkerchief, figuring that the howling must indicate that they need their noses blown.
 	2421 	Ernie wants to scare Bert by blowing a paper bag. But just as he has filled the bag with air, he is scared by a big bang behind him. Bert runs up behind him and yells "I did it first" and runs away laughing.
 	2418 	Ernie has bought two cones of lemon ice cream, and offers one to Bert. Bert tells him he should know that he doesn't like lemon flavored ice cream, so Ernie says that he will just have to eat both of them then.
 	2448 	Ernie throws away his banana peel on the street. Bert tells him that he can't do that and that someone can step on it and slip. Ernie doesn't think anyone could do something so stupid, and then slips on the peel. Afterwards, Bert tells Ernie that apparently, he is.
 	2450 	Ernie and Bert want to demonstrate up and down. Ernie selects up and Bert selects down and they look in that direction. Shortly after Ernie tries to get Bert to look up, but Bert refuses as his job is to look down, and then he is hit on the head by a falling ball. Ernie tells him that sometimes you have to look up.
 	2452 	Bert thinks that picking flowers is wonderful, but Ernie says that he likes to pick letters instead. Bert tells him that you can't do that, as Ernie picks the letter "E."
 	2454 	Standing in front of the Hamburg city hall, Bert tells his buddy that Ernie's balloon is to big for him. Ernie agrees, since he is having difficulties staying on the ground, and hands it to Bert who then flies off screen, screaming.
 	2456 	Bert suggests that he and Ernie share the last piece of chocolate cake. Ernie has a better idea: he takes the cake and Bert can have the plate. To Ernie's surprise Bert likes the idea, thinking that the plate looks just wonderful.
 	2481 	Ernie asks Bert what he is thinking about. Bert tells him that he is not thinking about anything in particular. Ernie thinks that is funny, and Bert asks him why. Ernie replies that he was thinking the same thing.
 	2493 	In front of the Hamburg TV tower, Ernie tries to blow on his trumpet but no sounds are coming out. Bert tells him to blow harder, and all of a sudden the trumpet makes a high pitched noise, startling Bert.
 	2495 	Ernie thinks it's nice to have a picnic in the park; Bert agrees. Ernie starts to list everything they have in the picnic basket, but when he gets to the cookies he can't resist, he takes them and then eats them.
 	2502 	Ernie is making noises at the monkeys at the Erlebnis-Zoo (adventure zoo) in Hannover. Bert arrives and asks what he's doing, to which Ernie replies that he's talking to them. Bert is impressed that Ernie knows how to talk to monkeys and asks what they're saying. Ernie tells Bert that they're saying that Bert should give his ice cream cone to Ernie. Still in awe, Bert hands the cone over and then asks what they're saying now. Ernie says that they just said "Thank you, Bert!" and starts eating the ice cream.
 	2503 	Ernie and Bert are playing a "looking down and looking up" game. Ernie is looking down, and Bert is looking up as they're walking. When they get close to a trash can, Ernie tries to talk Bert into looking down as well, to avoid running into the trash. But Bert refuses, as his job is to look up, crashing into it.
 	2506 	Ernie asks Bert if he knows a word that begins with the letter P. Just as Bert is about to say a P-word, he gets hit by a cardboard box (Pappkarton in German). Ernie is excited and thanks Bert for his help.
==American Remakes==
Picture	Episode	Description
 	2467 	Bert is reading his duck joke book, and is enjoying himself. He tells Ernie some of the jokes from the book; however, Ernie doesn't think it's funny and doesn't think that a duck would find it funny either. So, Bert tells one of the jokes to some ducks on the pond, and they end up quacking. Bert and Ernie think that this means the ducks must think the joke was funny.
 	2468 	Bert is tired after being out in the fresh air all day. Ernie arrives, but is unsure if Bert is really asleep. Bert is lying down, which he usually does when he's asleep. His eyes are closed and Ernie can yell without Bert reacting to it. It really does seems like he's sleeping, but to be on the safe side, Ernie pokes Bert. If he was awake, he would have been angry at Ernie for doing that. But there's more: Bert's legs are so relaxed that Ernie can manipulate them with ease. Ernie finally concludes that Bert is sleeping. Just then Bert wakes up from all the talking and poking, and Ernie proceeds to make sure that Bert really is awake. So Ernie pokes Bert, and he concludes that Bert is awake since he starts getting angry at Ernie. Bert asks why Ernie woke him up, and Ernie then says that he had something important to tell Bert: It's 10 PM, and therefore time to go to bed.
 	2473 	Bert is reading a comic book about pigeons. Ernie finds Bert with his magnifying glass and decides to observe him while he's reading his comic book. Bert is having problems concentrating on reading his book with Ernie around him, and suggests that Ernie should try to see what it is like to have someone watch you while you're trying to read. Ernie, however, doesn't have a problem with Bert staring at him while reading the comic book; Ernie thinks the comic is very good and thanks Bert for letting him read it.
 	2477 	Bert is making noises inside the camping trailer. Ernie informs the viewer that his old buddy Bert has dyed his hair red by mistake and that he refuses to come out. Ernie then offers to helps Bert hide the red hair. Bert ends up getting covered in green hair, so that no one will notice the red hair. The Wolf vom Wörtersee walks past, mistaking Bert for his brother, and takes him out for a swim.
 	2490 	Ernie is listening to his CD-player, turning the volume up and down. Bert asks Ernie to keep the volume down so he can concentrate on writing a postcard. However, Ernie keeps the music turned up loud. As Bert keeps yelling, Ernie decides to try and see if he can use the volume knob on Bert, and it turns out that Ernie is able to turn Bert's volume up and down as well. Bert leaves in anger, and Ernie realizes that he can't listen to the music anymore since he's missing the knob. So, he hurries after Bert.
 	2492 	Ernie has just enjoyed some delicious strawberry ice cream, when Bert arrives telling Ernie that he's looking forward to eating the two scoops of strawberry ice cream he had ordered. Ernie tries to deny that he ate the ice cream, and tells Bert that a green wolf came by and ate it all, and placed the napkin and the spoon in Ernie's hand. But Bert doesn't believe the story. Bert leaves and Ernie says that of course his story isn't true, since wolves don't eat strawberry ice cream, and don't use napkins and spoons. A second order of ice cream is served, then a green wolf arrives and does exactly what Ernie just told Bert. After the wolf leaves, Bert returns and Ernie tells him the same story. Bert tells Ernie that he might as well confess; his story is as likely to have happened as a chicken with a red apron coming in to tell them that they have to clean their dishes themselves. Right then, a chicken with a red apron appears to tell them to clean their dishes.
 	2496 	At the camping trailer, Ernie wants to show Bert a magic trick with his magical folding ruler. Ernie folds it into a letter T and a E. Bert isn't impressed with it, as anyone can do that. Ernie then asks Bert what he wants him to turn the ruler into. Bert says that he wants the ruler to turn into a slice of pizza. With a puff of smoke, the ruler turns into a plate with a slice of pizza on it.
 	2498 	Ernie asks Bert how the soup bowl fits on his head, though Bert isn't sure if he knows what Ernie's talking about. Ernie tells Bert that he dropped their glass dish with candy, and put the sweets in the breadbox, stuffed the bread into the umbrella stand, the umbrellas into the trash can, and the trash into Bert's straw hat. As Bert starts to yell at Ernie about what to wear now if he decides to take a walk, Ernie suggests he could use the soup bowl and places it on Bert's head. As it drops from Bert's head, a disgruntled Bert chases Ernie off screen.
 	2501 	Bert thinks it's hot and wants to get something to drink, to cool himself off a little. Ernie just happens to have a glass of apple juice right next to him, but decides that apple juice isn't good enough for his best friend. Before Bert gets a chance to tell Ernie that all he wanted was some apple juice, Ernie has mixed him a cocktail from, among other things, lemon ice cream and chocolate. Ernie hands it to Bert, who starts to scream at Ernie that he doesn't want it. Ernie then takes the drink and says "then you won't mind if I drink it."
 	2508 	Bert is admiring a tree, as Ernie walks past, asking Bert for a favor. Ernie wants to see Bert angry. Bert asks why and Ernie tells him that he wants to see how an angry person looks like and since Bert's pretty good at being angry, he thought Bert would be perfect. Bert is flattered, but he does not have a reason to be angry at the moment. Ernie then provides him with a reason, telling him he he lost Bert's beloved pigeon stickers. As Bert simulates getting angry, Ernie thanks him. But he wants him to be mad once more. He starts to re-tell the story of the stickers to get Bert to be mad again. After the second time, Ernie asks Bert to be mad a third time, but Bert says that he's too tired to get mad again. Ernie then tells Bert that his sticker collection is really missing, and that the story he told was real.
 	2509 	Bert won't come out of the camping trailer, as it turns out that one of his hands has been painted green. Ernie takes a closer look at the hand. Bert tells him that as long as the hand is green he won't go anywhere. Ernie finds a glove for Bert, so no one will notice the green hand. Bert then tells Ernie that he feels kind of stupid wearing a glove in the middle of summer. Ernie finds him the other glove, but that doesn't help either. Ernie then finds some other stuff for Bert. He ends up dressing Bert in a complete winter outfit. It turns out that Ernie wants Bert to come along to the beach. Bert tells Ernie that he can't go to the beach dressed like this. Ernie agrees, telling Bert that he'll just go alone and Bert can stay and clean up the mess that Ernie just made.
 	2510 	Ernie is painting a portrait of Bert, but he paints Bert with pink curly hair, glasses and a beard. When Bert gets angry about this, Ernie pulls him behind the easel and puts pink curly hair, glasses and a beard on Bert. Afterwards a chicken comes by and admires the painting, saying that Ernie painted a great likeness.
 	2511 	Ernie and Bert are relaxing in the hot sun. Bert suggests that Ernie go to the store and get some orange juice, since Bert had gone to get the juice the last few times. However, Ernie decides that he needs to prepare himself for the trip. He gets a hat in case it suddenly gets colder. He also looks for a rain coat in case it rains. But that's not all; he also needs a lollipop, in case he meets a wolf. Bert thinks Ernie's being crazy, and they don't have any lollipops. Ernie then says that he can't go to the store without a lollipop. Bert ends up saying that he will go to the store to buy Ernie a lollipop, and Ernie then asks him to get some orange juice as well, while he's there.
__NOWYSIWYG__
Category:Sesamstrasse Sketches
Sesamstrasse