Space Package

Mee, an alleged high school acquaintance of Space Tree, entrusts ST with a special package and then disappears. When ST won't let him open the package, The Commander holds a grudge against Space Tree for a while.
== Transcript ==
(roll opening credits)
(cut to Space Tree wearing sunglasses watching a tree hugger on TV)
SPACE TREE: Oh, yeah. Heh. This is a good show...
(the TV goes out)
SPACE TREE: Oh, what the hell?!
(Mee's portal opens and he walks through)
MEE: Space Tree, my man!
SPACE TREE: Whoa, what? (Stands up, glasses fall off)Uh, I was just watchin' TV here...
MEE: Look, man, I need you to do a huge favor for me, brother. I need you to hold this package for me. Just while my cousin is on... a business...
SPACE TREE: ... Who the hell are you?
MEE: Who the- Who the hell am I? (tosses Package away) What the- Who are you, man? Who the hell are you?
(Commander enters)
COMMANDER: Yeah, who the hell are you?
SPACE TREE: Well, uh, I'm Space Tree, and... you both know that, right? And how long have you been here?
COMMANDER: I just got here. Who's this guy?
MEE: Come on, man. It's Mee? From high school? Ch. Come on!
COMMANDER: High school? Yeah, like they're gonna let a big tree into a classroom with a bunch of kids. Come on, he's a frigging fire hazard!
MEE: hey, look, man. I- I don't need this, you know? Uh, you see this gold medallion?
COMMANDER: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
MEE: Well, I won this... at the... champion...ship-
(he takes it off and tosses it at the Commander's face; in the commotion, he escapes through one of his portals)
COMMANDER: OW! ****ing fascist! Ow, right in the x-ray eye!
SPACE TREE: Yeah, he's already gone.
(cut to the Commander, lying on the floor, with a wounded left eye)
COMMANDER: I know that, I do have one functioning eye left, unlike some people here. (stands up holding the Package) So anyway let's open this Package.
(Space tree grabs it)
SPACE TREE: No now wait a minute. This Package is my responsibility, here, and I will guard it with my life.
COMMANDER: Well then I have no choice (Background turn red, the Commander holds a knife) but to kill you!
SPACE TREE: No, don't!
(Background returns to blue)
COMMANDER: Eh, just kidding. Jeez, this knife is to open the Package. Come on man, gimme it.
SPACE TREE: No Commander. It was given to my in confidence by my... good friend from... high school. And I don't wanna break this sacred trust of...
COMMANDER: (interrupting) Whatever, whatever. What ever. Like I even care about your stupid crap anyway. I've got better things to do, I'm like a Commander ... of a Spaceship, right? So what am I even doing here, I got...
SPACE TREE: Yeah, what are you doing here?
COMMANDER: Eh, that's what I'm saying. I'm a busy man. I've got a real busy schedule ... schedule ... (The second schedule is the British pronunciation, and his pupil leaves his eye) Goddammit, if you don't open that goddamn Package, then I'm gonna hold a grudge against you until the day I die. And i will never speak to you again. How do you like that?
SPACE TREE: Yeah I'd like to see you try. You'll cave in after a few hours. (exits)
COMMANDER: Oh Yeah? Yeah? Is that what you think, yeah? Well, we shall see my friend. I think, In fact, you will be the one who will be doing the caving in,(Mucus runs out of his injured eye) because the grudge is now holding. Prepare for total silence, starting, now.
SPACE TREE: (offscreen) OK...
SCENE TRANSITION: 25 YEARS LATER!
42 years old commander is drinking a beer.
COMMANDER: Yup, you know sometimes I kind of regret holding a grudge for so much time. In fact, sometimes I think the whole situation is just kind of ****ing retarded. But then I think to myself, 'Hey, screw him'. You know what? (Drops Beer) I don't even care what's in that package anymore. (Starting to cry) I don't even care at all.
LAMP: Can we please just leave now?
COMMANDER: (Angry) You shut up! I'm getting real sick of you trying to boss me around, bitch. Bi... *sigh*, I'm-I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to snap at you like that, I just really want to see what's in that stupid friggin' package. What if its like, some dude's soul? That'd be cool, I mean, if only I didn't have this official grudge in place...
MEE: (Enters as a silhouette) Well maybe I can be of service.
COMMANDER: *Gasps* You!
MEE: Mee.
COMMANDER: Yeah, whatever. What do you want?
MEE: Well I think that I may be able to help you out. In exchange for that medallion you're wearing.
COMMANDER: Well I'm listening...
MEE: You have 2 options, Commander. Option A: I tell you what's in the package.
COMMANDER: I CHOOSE OPTION A!
MEE: Wait a second, wait. Option B: you go back in time and prevent this 25 year grudge from even happening.
COMMANDER: What, so I can talk to that guy again? I don't care that much. Option A, man!
MEE: Oh really. Well, lets take a look at what your life COULD have been like, without this grudge of silence.(Opens a small portal)
Young Commander with moustache wearing rainbow shirt in the portal: Hey everyone, I got a moustache! (Audience laughs, then portal disappears)
COMMANDER: What, that's it? Yeah, I dunno man, I kind of look gay with that moustache.
MEE: Well, that's true and you shaved it off the next day.
COMMANDER: Really?? Wow, you sold me. I must go back in time! And, uh, can I take this baseball bat with me? I think I might wanna, y'know, hit some baseballs in the past.
MEE:I don't care.
SCENE TRANSITION: !REILRAE SRAEY 52
17 Years Old Commander: Is that what you think, yeah? Well, we shall see my friend. I think in fact you are the one who will be doing the HUAGH! (A portal opens off-screen and 42 Years Old Commander comes up behind him and cracks him on the head with the bat.)
42 Years Old Commander: Hey Space Tree wait up.
Space Tree: Oh, so I guess the grudge is over then, is it? Heh, I knew you wouldn't be able to- OWWW!! (42 Years Old Commander strikes Space Tree on his left branch, breaking it in 2 and causing ST to bleed and drop the package.) Son of a bitch!
COMMANDER: Yes! The package and its contents are finally mine! (Holds the package with one arm, holds up 2 other arms) Now lets see what inside... (Cuts open package with 4th arm, it opens) Wow. It's exactly what I thought it would be. Wait a second no it isn't-WHU! (A brown arm comes from the package and hits him in the face.)
== Fun Facts ==
* The text on the package says "lol"
* First appearance of Mee Marone.
== References ==
* The Commander yelling "Ow! F***ing fascist!" when Mee throws the medallion at his eye is a reference to a scene in The Big Lebowski. The Dude yells the same line when the Malibu Police Chief throws a coffee mug at his head.
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