School of Potato Puff (Rewrite)/transcript

Next Episode: There will be Grease and his New Toner
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: April 23, 2022
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins with a baby walking around a crib in a nursery, being filmed by Incidentals 6 and 47. SpongeBob crashes the boat through a wall in the nursery.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I can't see! I can't see!
Incidentals 6 and 47 both scream as the boat is about to drive into them.
Baby: Momma! Papa! No!
Screen cuts to Royal Woods Elementary. Ms. Shrinivas is teaching the first grade.
Ms. Shrinivas: Alright class, let's have some fun with numbers. *places three plastic giraffes on a stool* If three giraffes are having dinner together, and one lion comes to join them... *adds a lion* How many animal friends are there now? Darcy?
Darcy Helmandollar: *thinks* Um, okay... three, plus... um…
Lisa Loud: Don't engage, Darcy. You know that lions don't dine with giraffes. They dine on giraffes. Tearing muscles from bone in a frenzy. A mechanism of Darwinian natural selection. *looks back at Ms. Shrinivas*
Ms. Shrinivas: Well, Lisa, even though you're right, let's tone it down for your fellow first graders.
Darcy Helmandollar: *slightly disturbed* What's a frenzy?
SpongeBob SquarePants and Mrs. Puff: *offscreen, screams*
Lisa Loud: Did you hear that, Darcy. It sounds like–
The boat breaks through window, SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff is heard screaming.
Kindergartners: *screams and runs away*
Mrs. Puff: *screams*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry, Ms. Shrinivas.
Ms. Shrinivas: Lisa, Darcy, we have to go.
Ms. Shrinivas, Lisa Loud and Darcy Helmandollar: *runs away*
The boat breaks through the classroom door, then it cuts outside of Royal Woods Elementary, then the boat breaks through the front door. Screen cuts back to Ms. Shrinivas, Lisa and Darcy.
Ms. Shrinivas: Okay, new lesson. I think I know how to teach SpongeBob how to put a potato for Mrs. Puff.
Lisa Loud and Darcy Helmandollar: *shakes our heads "Yes"*
Screen cuts to Dynamite Factory.
Ms. Mayor: Bikini Bottom's long-awaited Dynamite Factory is now open!
Mrs. Puff: Look out!
The boat drives into the ribbon, launching it into the air.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Mrs. Puff: Whoa! Phew. *screams*
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey Mrs. Puff, I can see your house from up here.
The boat crashes into Mrs. Puff's house.
Mrs. Puff: *inflates and floats to my bed, then sighs* Look at that, you saved me a commute. Just let yourself out.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, if you're sure. See you tomorrow, Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: Maybe he really is unteachable. *deflates* I give up.
Lisa Loud: *offscreen* No Puff, not yet! *cuts to onscreen* You're a driving instructor! Instructing that boy is your duty! You just need a little guidance.
Mrs. Puff: *grabs the phone*
Guru: The universe greets you. Allow me to guide your celestial vessel.
Mrs. Puff: *yells* SpongeBob! Driving me crazy!
Guru: Oh, Mrs. Puff. Perhaps it would help if you found a way to be with SpongeBob without being with SpongeBob. Hm? Okay, feel free to annoy me for money again soon. Goodbye.
Mrs. Puff: Being with SpongeBob without being with SpongeBob? But how? *hears music*
Ms. Shrinivas: Where is that music coming from?
Darcy Helmandollar: A submarine?
Mrs. Puff: Oh, that gives me an idea, Darcy! I knew it! Where there are sailors, there are always potatoes.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, Mrs. Puff! It's been so long. *hugs the potato* Did you miss me?
Mrs. Puff: *via pager* Oh yes, SpongeBob. I missed you so much. It's so good to see you. From here.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ooh, did you get a new hat? It really brings out all your eyes.
A closeup of the potato eyes.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* Feels right to me! *laughs again*
This transcript will be completed coming soon…
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