Kick-Ass

"Kick-Ass" is the first film in the Kick-Ass (film series) and set in the Millarworld. 
==Cast==
Paul Butcher as Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass
Allissa Skovbye as Mindy McCready/Hit-Girl
Graham Phillips as Chris Genovese/Red Mist
Lee Pace as Damon McCready/Big Daddy
Ray Liotta as John Genovese
Danielle Campbell as Katie Deauxma
Timothy Olyphant as Jimmy Lizewski
Myles Jeffrey as Marty Eisenberg
Zack Mills as Todd Haynes
Ned Bellamy as Detective Vic Gigante
Snoop Dogg as Eddie Lomas
Gary Anthony Williams as Marv Lomas
Vivica A. Fox as Lucille
Michael A. Goorjian as Armenian Superhero
Gwyneth Paltrow as Mrs. Lizewski
Susan Sarandon as Mrs. Zane
John Corbett as Teddy
Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Cheadle
Brandon T. Jackson as Bobby Ball-Buster
Greg Kinnear as Frankie
Aidan Gillen as Murray
Elisabeth Shue as Maya
Tequan Richmond as Carl
Blair Underwood as Detective Marcus Williams
Charlize Theron as Kathleen Williams
Mark Millar as Comic Store Clerk
==Plot==
While Dave narrates about why no one before him ever tried to be a superhero, an Armenian superhero with a history of mental illness leaps off of a building in a costume, trying to fly, but ends up landing flat on a car, crushed and broken. Dave then introduces himself as the guy getting his balls electrocuted by criminals, but then rewinds the story and introduces himself as Dave Lizewski, an ordinary high school boy who loves comic books and superheroes. He also says that he constantly jacks off to his biology teacher, Mrs. Zane as he stares at her in class. Mrs. Zane notices him and asks if something's wrong, but Dave apologizes and returns to his work. He then talks about his crush, Katie Deauxma, who he follows to a tennis club that she frequently visits and waits for her to leave. When she leaves, Dave tries to talk to her, but Katie says that the doorman told her he's been standing outside, waiting for her and tells him to stop stalking her and leave her alone. He then talks about how his mom died from an aneurysm when he was 14. In a flashback, Dave walks in and finds his mom collapsed on the floor dead. Dave then says that she died naturally, not a hitman that he must avenge. To cope with her death, Dave started obsessing over video games while his dad did a lot of crying. Dave then says how he lives alone with his dad, and how they ate the same meal, every night, chili, and how they talked about his future plans before his dad left for his night shift. He also narrates about how everyone wants his dad to find someone else, but his dad was so in love with his mom that he'd never even thought about dating another woman. Dave then narrates that that's why he's so fascinated with comics. One day, Dave and his friends, Marty and Todd, walk out of the comic book store, talking about how Galactus was portrayed in the new Fantastic Four movie and how Spiderman's web-shooters would or wouldn't work in the movies. Dave then says that he can't believe how good Whedon's X-Men is compared to Buffy. Dave then narrates that around exam time, he becomes even more obsessed with comics by spending his time downloading comics and on comic book message boards. Dave then says that it was during mid-terms that he realized what he wanted to do with his life. At lunch, Dave asks Marty and Todd why no one has ever tried to be a superhero. Todd though argues that it would be impossible. Dave though says that it's not impossible and that people want to be rock stars, but not superheroes. Todd though says that rockstars get paid, while superheroes don't. Dave though asks if everything has to be about money. Todd then stops to admire some girls while Dave narrates that he was right, then asks why train for years to do a job that he's talked about all day and that he wanted his life to be exciting. That night, Dave's dad, Jimmy comes in to tell him good night before he leaves for work and get his keycard. Jimmy then asks him if he's ok, but Dave lies and says that he's feeling sick. Jimmy then says goodbye and leaves. After he leaves, Dave gets out of bed to reveal that he's wearing a green costume. He then admires himself in his costume in the mirror while thinking that it didn't take a trauma or a power ring to be a hero, just loneliness and despair. Dave then narrates that he didn't do much crime-fighting for the first few weeks and just practiced walking along rooftop ledges and getting used to the wetsuit that he bought on eBay. The next day, Dave sits in class, smiling as he thinks about what a thrill it is to wear his costume under his clothes. He then narrates that he spends his lunchtime in the gym, working out and ate a diet of red meat and fish. That night, Dave sits in his bed with a notepad and pen, coming up with superhero names and thinks that he hasn't looked at internet porn in 7 weeks. One day, while out on patrol, Dave spots some thugs spray-painting graffiti on the side of a building. He becomes scared when one of the thugs spots him and calls him out. Dave though calls them homos and that they're making a mess. The thugs assume he's stoned, but Dave tells them he's not and is just pissed at them. Dave then takes out a club and hits one of the thugs in the face with it. Another one of the thugs then kicks him in the balls, causing him to double over in pain. Dave then grabs a glass bottle and slams it against the thug's face. The other thug then starts punching him and then 2 of the thugs start beating and kicking him. They ask him what his name is, but Dave tells them that he doesn't know since he hasn't thought of one yet. The first thug then gets up and takes out a knife and stabs him in the chest as he covers his mouth.The thugs then run off and leave him bleeding to death. Dave then walks out of the courtyard while holding his bleeding side when he suddenly gets hit by a car, leaving him severely injured and mangled on the ground as the couple in the car continue driving. Dave then thinks to himself that he broke both of his legs, crushed his spine, and is dressed ridiculously, and then thinks about how his dad's gonna kill him. 
At St. Vincent's Hospital, Dave wakes up and finds himself in a hospital bed, hooked up to some machines with his dad sitting by his side. Dave wonders how he got here, but then slowly recalls what happened. Jimmy then goes to get the nurse while Dave thinks that since his dad is here, he must know about the costume and the secret and then wonders how he's gonna explain it to him. Jimmy then asks him why he was naked in the street. Dave then remembers that, despite his severe injuries, he managed to take his costume off. When the ambulance arrives, they find him lying naked on the street and load him into the ambulance. Dave then prays to God that if he makes it through this, he'll never do that again. Days later, Dave narrates that everyone assumed he was mugged and that he had broken bones, a ruptured spleen, collapsed lung, and head trauma. He then narrates that an ugly doctor told him that they'd have to operate again, but Dave just smiles and says that he doesn't even remember the first operation. Dave then narrates that he sleeps all day and was up all night while hooked up to morphine. Dave then hallucinates and sees his mom at the foot of his bed. His mom calls him selfish and then says that if he died, then his dad would be all alone. Dave though tells her that he's not gonna die, but his mother says that that's what she used to say. Dave then goes to sleep and has a nightmare about what happened to him, while worrying if the next operation kills him and if he'll ever see his dad again. He then worries that he'll get reincarnated. Dave then imagines himself getting reincarnated as a slave baby in Eastern Europe or a Chinese peasant. He then wonders if he'll be reincarnated as a spider while imagining spiders crawling all over his bed. Dave then swears to God that if he lives, he'll burn his comics. He then narrates that after 4 operations, 2 months of counseling, 3 metal plates fitted into his head, and weeks of physical therapy, he realized why there aren't any superheroes in the real world. He then says that when he got back home, he found that his father stocked up his room with comics, DVDs, and his laptop. Dave then narrates that he cried himself for 3 hours after he saw the hospital bills that he left him. 2 months later, Dave narrates that he was allowed to go back to school, at first for part-time, but then eventually full-time and started hanging out with his friends again. Dave then tells Marty and Todd about his injuries and how it happened. Later, Dave sits in his room in the dark as he thinks about how superheroes now make him angry. One night, Dave has a bonfire in the garden and burns most of his comics as he vows to never do that again. Dave then narrates that he couldn't help himself and as soon as he got off the crutches, he went back out on patrol. One day, when he walks out of an alley, a group of girls call him a flasher and a rapist and chase after him until he bumps into a man that's running from some Puerto Rican thugs. The thugs then start brutally beating the man as one of thugs tells him to leave. Dave though refuses to leave and takes out his clubs and starts beating all of them while yelling at the crowd of onlookers to call the cops. One of the thugs then grabs a trash can and slams it against him. A man runs off and tells a group of people that a guy dressed as a superhero is fighting some Puerto Ricans. The Puerto Ricans then knock Dave down and start beating and kicking him. Dave though fights back until one of the thugs slams the trash lid onto his head, while the crowd watches in horror. Dave though pushes them off and then kicks one of them in the balls and hits him in the mouth with his club and then kicks him in the face. The crowd continues to watch, as a man starts recording the fight on his cell phone. The thugs, now soaked in blood, then turn to leave as Dave stands over the beaten man, soaked in blood. Dave then narrates that his teeth are smashed, his ribs are cracked, and that his eyes are so beaten, he can't see, but he didn't let the man down. The crowd cheers for him as Dave checks to see if the man's ok. The man then thanks him for saving him. The man recording this on his phone says that he's gonna put this on YouTube.
The next day, a man shows his coworkers at work the video of Kick-Ass fighting the Puerto Rican thugs that was on the news. Dave then says that he became an instant celebrity after that fight was put online and was even mentioned on Jay Leno and David Letterman's shows, as people watch the video on the news in their home, while a girl at a bar watches the video on her laptop. Dave then says that he finally came up with a name for himself, Kick-Ass. At his penthouse, John Genovese's assistant, Teddy shows him the video of Kick-Ass on TMZ, causing John to curse about there being another superhero. At school, Dave swaggers in while wearing his costume under his clothes, which he says makes him feel empowered. He then says that, even though he was beaten up, people just assume he got mugged again, when he actually became a famous superhero. In class, Dave shows Katie the video of Kick-Ass on her phone and then the 2 start talking and joking, until Mrs. Zane interrupts them and calls Dave Katie's boyfriend and tells her to start working. Dave is shocked when Katie doesn't argue with her or act disgusted and says that a few weeks ago, Katie would've had him arrested as he looks at her. Later, while walking home from school with Marty, Marty says that Katie isn't interested in him and that there's actually a rumor going around the school that he got mugged twice because he's been pimping himself in the neighbor and that he gets beaten up by his clients, which is why he was found naked in the street. Dave is shocked, as Marty tells him that all of the girls are acting nice to him, especially Katie and then calls him Katie's gay best friend, causing Dave to break down as he realizes that it now all makes sense. Later, Dave hangs out with Katie, eating popcorn and watching reality shows. Dave and Katie then walk down the street together as Dave says that he was so in love with her that he went along with the whole gay thing. Later, the 2 of them go shopping for hats. Later, at his apartment, Dave eats dinner with his father. Jimmy then tells him that his friends are telling him to try online dating, but Dave encourages him to try it. Jimmy then asks him about the bruises on his face and then asks if he's getting bullied, but Dave keeps insisting that he got mugged and isn't being bullied. Jimmy then gives him some pepper spray to carry around for protection and tells him that he doesn't want him to get hurt again and then says that he loves him. Jimmy then leaves for work, while Dave starts feeling bad about lying to him about being a superhero. Later, Kick-Ass climbs up onto a building rooftop as he narrates that, while Dave only has 8 friends on MySpace, Kick-Ass has thousands. He then decides to try leaping onto another rooftop, but then stops at the edge and becomes scared. He then decides to just walk as he heads down the stairs. While walking down the street, several people call out to Kick-Ass. He then enters an apartment building, while saying that he started a MySpace page for people with problems to contact him. As he climbs up the stairs, he says that his first mission is to talk to a guy named Eddie Lomas on 81st Street and that his ex told him that Eddie keeps prank calling her and wants him to talk to him. As he continues to climb up the stairs, he says that he chose this mission first because the girl seemed nice and wondered if he'd go out with her afterwards and if she's hot. When he reaches the top, he finds a large man standing outside a door while smoking pot, who mocks him for his costume. Kick-Ass asks him if he's Eddie, but the man introduces himself as Marv, Eddie's cousin. Marv then says that Eddie's inside, playing a video game and then invites him inside so Eddie can get a look at him. Kick-Ass and Marv then enter the room and find Eddie playing a video game and smoking pot, along with his girl, Maya, and his friends. He then asks them which one is Eddie. Maya though tells him that she's Eddie, until Eddie tells her to shut up. Kick-Ass then asks him if he's Eddie, but Eddie asks him who he is. Kick-Ass though tells him that he's the guy from TV, but Eddie tells him that he doesn't watch TV. Kick-Ass then tells him that his ex-girlfriend contacted him and asked him to talk to him about him calling her. Eddie thinks he's threatening him, but Kick-Ass just tells him to leave her alone. Eddie then gets up and goes over to him and asks him what he's gonna do and that he'll do what he wants. Kick-Ass though tells him to leave her alone, or else he'll break his legs, causing Marv and the others to grin at him as Eddie glares at him. Kick-Ass then sprays him with pepper spray, causing Eddie to fall over in pain as Marv and the others get ready to attack him. Maya though sneaks up behind him and hits him in the head with a glass bottle, knocking him to the ground. Marv then pins him to the ground as Eddie gets back up and grabs the broken bottle and gets ready to beat him. Suddenly, a little girl in a costume, Hit-Girl sneaks up behind Eddie and kills him by impaling him through the chest with her sword, while Kick-Ass watches in horror. Hit-Girl then turns to the others as she wipes Eddie's blood off of her sword with Eddie's shirt, while Maya, Marv, and the others stare at her in shock. Hit-Girl then slices one of the thugs in the stomach and then slices his head off, killing him. She then turns to the others and asks them who's next. 
Hit-Girl then stabs another thug in the head through his chin, killing him as Kick-Ass watches in horror and comments that she looked like "John Rambo meets Polly Pocket" as Marv grabs a chair and the other thug grabs a broken glass bottle while Maya starts crying and hides behind a chair. Marv and the other thug look at her with fearful looks. Marv then tosses the chair at her, but Hit-Girl leaps over it and then blocks the glass bottle with her swords when the other thug tosses it at her. She then slices off Marv's legs and slices off the other thug's arms, killing both of them. A blood-soaked Hit-Girl then spots Maya crawling toward the door and mocks her. Maya continues to cry as she tries to open the door, but Hit-Girl impales her through the door with her swords, killing her. Hit-Girl then turns to Kick-Ass, who aims his pepper spray at her and tells her to get away. Hit-Girl though tells him that they're on the same team and that superheroes gotta stick together. She climbs out the window, but Kick-Ass follows her and tells her to come back. Hit-Girl though tells him to leave before the cops shows up as she climbs to the rooftop. Kick-Ass though tells her that they need to talk as he climbs up after her. When he gets to the top, he watches her run across the rooftop and leap onto the next one, where her partner, Big Daddy is waiting for her. The 2 high-five as Kick-Ass asks them who they are. Big Daddy though tells him to leave and then he and Hit-Girl run off and jump off the rooftop and swing to the ground on grappling hooks, while Dave says that these 2 were like real superheroes, while he was just a guy in a costume. Kick-Ass then climbs back down and goes back into the apartment to see if anyone's ok, but then leaves when he sees that they're all dead. Later, that night, Dave stays up late and watches TV as he says that he can't sleep or eat and jumps every time he hears a car door slam. He then remembers Eddie's ex-girlfriend and is worried that she'll think this is how he solves people's problems. Dave then sits in his room and is worried that he'll be blamed for the murders and get sent to jail. Dave then prays to God to not send him to jail and promises to stop being a superhero. Jimmy then walks in and asks him if he's fine, but Dave just lies and says that he's rearranging his comics. Jimmy then tells him that he decided to make that personal ad and asks him to check his spelling. Dave tells him that he will and Jimmy leaves. Dave then says that the murders were made public 24 hours later. He then says that he wasn't even mentioned, since Eddie was a well-known dealer and the cops assumed their deaths were part of a turf war, which made him so happy. Dave then says that he still had to call his ex to let her know what happened. He then calls Eddie's ex, Lucille, who works at a hair salon. Lucille though tells him that the world's a better place without Eddie. Dave though tries to tell her that he wasn't the one that killed him, but Lucille tells him that she won't tell the cops about this and that this conversation didn't even happen, which worries Dave even more as he vows to stop being Kick-Ass. He then says that he couldn't stop thinking about the corpses and tries to find out about Hit-Girl and Big Daddy on his laptop, but says that he only found out about a weird fetish superhero subculture that he inspired, along with photos of bank clerks, doctors, checkout operators, and lawyers dressed in superhero costumes, but doesn't find anything about Hit-Girl and Big Daddy. The next day, at school, Katie gives Dave a CD of a gay drama show, "Queer as Folk." Katie then asks him if she can ask him a personal question and then asks if gay men get sexually aroused when they see other men's bodies or get turned on when they look at themselves in the mirror. Dave though lies and tells her that that happens all the time to him. Later, at the comic store, Todd and Marty tease Dave about pretending to be gay. Dave though tells them that this will be a story that they'll tell their grandchildren. Dave then thinks to himself that this is the life he's returning to, but then tells himself that he must give up being a superhero after almost being framed for murder and that the costume's now sitting in his closet. At the front desk, the comic clerk tells a teen about a comic he's purchasing, but the boy tells him to put it in the box with the other comics he's buying. Dave and Marty watch him as Dave asks who the rich kid is. Marty though tells him that's Johnny G., the Italian mobster's son. Dave, Marty, and Todd then watch him leave while Dave thinks it's weird that a gangster's son is a nerd like them. At Johnny G.'s penthouse, Johnny shows his men photos of the corpses of Eddie and his gang. Teddy then tells him that Eddie and his men make 22 guys that they've lost in the last 6 months and that they're all involved in their narcotics, pornography, and gambling departments. Johnny then asks him if he's sure that it was the same 2 superheroes from before. Teddy though tells him that the DNA reports aren't done yet, but then shows him a photo of Hit-Girl and Big Daddy and tells him that that was the only they got caught on camera. Johnny then tells him to make sure no one sees that, because they'll be a laughing stock if people find out that they're being taken down by superheroes. Johnny then asks who they are and why they're targeting him. One of his men though tell him that they just came out of nowhere. One of his men then asks about Kick-Ass and if he's connected to the others. John asks Detective Vic Gigante, a police detective that works for him, about Kick-Ass. Vic though tells him that he's just a guy in a costume and then tells them that Kick-Ass said on his website that he was giving it up and going back to school. John asks him if he's sure, but Vic tells him that Hit-Girl and Big Daddy are professionals, while Kick-Ass is a kid that can't even fight. John then tells Teddy to tell Cheadle to come up with a plan to kill those 2. John then asks where Cheadle is. At a junkyard, Big Daddy and Hit-Girl have Cheadle trapped in his car, which is stuck in a car compactor. Big Daddy thanks him for the info he gave them. Cheadle then begs them to let him go since he gave them the names and addresses. Hit-Girl and Big Daddy though just look at each other. Cheadle then begs them to let them live and tells them that they need him since he's got info on everyone, but Hit-Girl pushes the button, causing the car compactor to start crushing Cheadle. Cheadle then curses both of them before the car compactor crushes and kills him. Hit-Girl then calls him a douche.
Dave then narrates that one of those superheroes that he inspired went public. He then says that his name is Red Mist and that he became an overnight celebrity. Dave then says that he's been keeping a low profile after Eddie Lomas and his gang were murdered, while Red Mist was taking down drug dealers, human traffickers and Russian mobsters. He then says that the cops and bloggers loved Red Mist, and that he was now more popular than Kick-Ass. In his bed, Dave angrily reads a blog about Red Mist on his laptop. The next day, at the comic book store, the comic clerk shows Dave a T-shirt that reads "Red Mist>Kick-Ass," but Dave says that that's stupid, but the comic clerk insists that people just like taking sides. Dave then angrily asks him to give him his comics so he can get back to class. That night, Dave goes out as Kick-Ass and wonders if Red Mist is working with Big Daddy and Hit-Girl, but then wonders why he seeks attention while they're undercover. While walking through an alley, Kick-Ass narrates that he had to raise his profile again, but then wonders why there aren't any crimes. He then spots a couple having sex, who angrily tell him to leave. He then starts walking the street, while narrating that he went out every night and found nothing. He then wonders how Red Mist has been taking down these huge operations and who he is. The next day, while watching America's Next Top Model with Katie at her house, Katie notices that something's wrong with Dave and asks him about it. Dave though thinks to himself about how stressed out he is and frustrated for pretending to be gay to her. He then lies and tells her that he's scared to tell his dad that he's gay and how he'll react. Katie though smiles and assures him that people can surprise him and that his dad is the sweetest guy and then tells him to be honest with him. Dave though thinks to himself about telling her that he isn't gay and loves her. Later, that night, Dave watches a news report on TV about Red Mist that says that he was the first superhero to create a MySpace Page, when he did the same thing months ago. Dave then angrily sends Red Mist an email on his laptop, telling him that they should meet. The next night, Kick-Ass waits in an alley, when Red Mist arrives. Kick-Ass then angrily confronts him about the web page, but Red Mist says that they misquoted him and that he actually mentioned him. Red Mist then says that the superhero thing has been brewing for years and that he's the first one to actually do it and then says that he's his biggest fan. Kick-Ass then says that it's nice to meet and compliments his costume. Red Mist then asks him if they can team-up together and just drive around to see what's going on. Kick-Ass is reluctant at first, but then accepts when he sees Red Mist's car, the Mist-Mobile. Red Mist then tells him that he can access his website from his cell phone and check on emergencies while on the road. They then get in the car, where Red Mist offers him some pot, but Kick-Ass refuses. Red Mist though says that pot helps calm him down during patrol. Kick-Ass then says that he wasn't what he expected and asks him how he stopped those mob operations. Red Mist though tells him that his cousin dated one of the Russian captains and used to get stoned and told him stuff, but then after a few busts, his cousin stopped telling him stuff, but it was all he needed to get his name out there. Kick-Ass then asks him if he actually beat them up, like they said on TV, but Red Mist said that he didn't. Kick-Ass then realizes that Red Mist isn't connected to Hit-Girl and Big Daddy, but was a guy like him. Red Mist then asks if he likes Danny Elfman and starts playing some Danny Elfman music. Dave then says that Red Mist was now his new best friend and that he realized why superheroes teamed-up, because it was fun. They then drive by some hot girls and stop to check them out.They then start talking about what they would do to a serial killer or a bank robber and come up with 4 different moves. They then stop and get out of the car when they see a burning building. They then run over to a crowd of people as a man turns to them and tells them that a lady's little boy is trapped in there. Red Mist then asks if they've called 911, but another guy says that they haven't showed up yet. Red Mist though says that they can't go in. The woman though begs them to save her kid, but Red Mist says that they'll be killed. Kick-Ass though says that they're going in. Red Mist is reluctant, but follows him inside as Kick-Ass says that they must save the boy. The crowd then cheers for them as the woman shouts to them that his name's Charlie. Once inside, Red Mist tries to tell him that they should sneak out through the back, but Kick-Ass though tells him that the boy could be dead and that the building's gonna collapse. Suddenly, the staircase to the back collapses. Red Mist tells him that he's not doing this, but Kick-Ass says that he's going to do it. Red Mist then calls him crazy and follows him inside the burning apartment. They search throughout the apartment while calling out to the boy. Kick-Ass though eventually finds him, but the boy turns out to be a cat. Red Mist then asks what they should do, when suddenly, the building collapses on them. The crowd watches in awe as the woman calls out to her cat. Inside, Kick-Ass and Red Mist are trapped under a pile of rubble. Red Mist then says that the door's blocked and the windows are boarded up and that they're gonna die. Suddenly, firefighters enter the building and manage to save them and get them safely outside. Outside, the crowd starts cheering for them as Kick-Ass returns the cat to his owner. The cops though force them to promise to stop being superheroes, but Kick-Ass thinks to himself that it was too late now. Later, Dave watches TV with his father, Jimmy as the rescue is featured on CNN, NBC, Leno, Letterman, and Craig Ferguson as he wonders why he should even give up being Kick-Ass. At John's penthouse, John, his assistant, and his son watch the news report about Kick-Ass and Red Mist. Later, Dave, in his costume, sits on his bed while surfing through the internet and says that Kick-Ass has 2 million hits on Google, 100,000 friends on MySpace, and chat rooms full of Kick-Ass and Red Mist wannabes. He then basks in his glory but then turns around and sees Big Daddy and Hit-Girl standing behind him, who ask him if he can take on the mob.
In a flashback, a 10 1/4 year old Mindy and her father, Damon McCready are alone in a field. Mindy tells her dad that she's scared, but Damon just calls her a baby. She then asks if getting shot hurts, but Damon tells her that it'll only hurt for a while. He then tells her that she'll be fine and then shoots her in the chest, knocking her to the ground. It's then revealed that Mindy's wearing a kevlar vest under her coat. Damon then says that she now knows what happens when a junkie pulls a 45. He then asks her what happens when that happens, but she says to stab him in the groin. Damon then tells her that they'll do this 10 more times and then get ice cream sundaes if she's good. Later, the 2 of them enjoy their ice cream sundaes while Mindy narrates that her live is abnormal. It then shows her getting an M-16 gun for Christmas, then shows her passing by a gun store window, then shows her eating dinner as she says that they eat lamb's heart for breakfast, chops for lunch, and liver for dinner. It then shows Damon training Mindy in fighting. It then shows Hit-Girl fighting a gang of thugs in a cafe while Big Daddy watches from the window of an apartment building across the street with a sniper rifle while eating a sandwich. He then asks her some trivia questions over their comm. devices while she fights and kills the goons. As she stops to answer the last question, a thug tries to attack her from behind, but Big Daddy shoots him in the head and kills him. Later, the 2 of them move into their new house. Mindy then narrates that they move around a lot and have been on the run for as long as she can remember, but whenever a neighbor sees their faces, they change their names and clothes. She then says that the only thing they keep with them is a steel briefcase that Big Daddy carries around. She then says that he hasn't told her what's inside, except that it pays for everything. Later, in their room, Damon shows Mindy a new gadget for her "utility belt." Mindy then asks them when they're gonna be done killing bad guys and avenging her mom and can act like a normal family. Damon though tells her that their raid on the Genovese penthouse will be their toughest mission yet. Mindy then asks if Kick-Ass and Red Mist can join them and form a superhero team. Damon is reluctant, but then agrees that he'll think about it. Back in the present, Big Daddy pins Dave to his bed and tells him that no one can help him since his dad's on a date and his neighbor's deaf. Dave though says that his dad was working extra shifts, but Hit-Girl tells him that he lied and was meeting a woman he met online. Dave then asks them who they are and how they know where he lives. Hit-Girl though tells him that they just followed him home. Big Daddy then tells her to tell him their origin. Hit-Girl then tells him that Big Daddy used to be a good cop in a bad city and that all the bad guys hated him because they couldn't bribe him, so they killed his wife and tried to kill him, but he escaped, along with his baby daughter, and vowed revenge. Big Daddy then tells Dave that he and Red Mist are gonna help them take down the mob. Dave though refuses to kill people, but Big Daddy tells him to either help them or else they'll expose his secret identity on the internet as he and Hit-Girl climb out of the window. As they climb down the fire escape, they tell him to tell Red Mist to meet them at their HQ and that they'll email him the address later. Dave then sits and thinks about his situation as he says that one side wants to cry while the other thinks it's awesome. The next day, at school, Dave says that school no longer interested him, not even Mrs. Zane's new top, or Katie giving her phone number to the new kid from Jersey, or even his best friends. At lunch, Todd and Marty tell him that they've invented a new curse word, "tunk" and then ask him to start using it and make sure everyone knows they invented it. That night, in the Mist-Mobile, Kick-Ass tells Red Mist about Big Daddy and Hit-Girl's offer. Red Mist thinks it's insane and thinks that they should be joining their team. Kick-Ass then asks him if he thinks they'll expose his secret identity, but Red Mist says he doesn't as they drive off to their HQ. They stop in an alleyway, where Kick-Ass tells Red Mist that they should just talk to them. Kick-Ass then walks down the street as he says that he feels so stressed out and then wonders if they'll kill them. As he walks down the street, some guys mock him as he walks past them. Kick-Ass then goes to Katie's house and yells to her window that he's not gay and that he's Kick-Ass. When Katie wakes up and opens her window, Kick-Ass hides behind a bush, but Katie watches him as he runs off. At their secret HQ, Hit-Girl gets the place ready for Kick-Ass and Red Mist while Big Daddy asks her what he was thinking. Hit-Girl though calls him the best dad ever, causing Damon to smile. As they walk toward their HQ, Kick-Ass tells Red Mist their origin, which he thinks is awesome. He then asks if they'll be mad if they refuse, but Red Mist just asks him if he's got the folder with their ideas for a team name and logo. Red Mist then says that they'll need more superheroes for their team. When they enter the building and start climbing up the stairs, they argue over who will be the team's "Wolverine." When they reach the top, Kick-Ass asks him if they're gonna recruit a female superhero that they found online, but Red Mist calls her gross. When they walk in the room, Kick-Ass sees John Genovese and his men surrounding Hit-Girl and Big Daddy, soaked in blood, as they point their guns at them. Big Daddy begs Kick-Ass to help them, but Red Mist pulls out a gun and points it at Kick-Ass's head and says that he can't even help himself.
Red Mist then pistol-whips Kick-Ass in the head, knocking him to the ground as Kick-Ass thinks about what a cocksucker Red Mist is. Kick-Ass then asks him why, but Red Mist just calls him stupid. Hit-Girl then reveals to him that Red Mist is actually John Genovese's son, Chris and that everything was a setup to lure her and Big Daddy out. John then compliments his son for his good work and admits that he thought he was crazy. Big Daddy begs them to take him to a hospital, but John asks him why he and Hit-Girl have been killing his men. He then asks what's in the steel suitcase. One of his thugs then aims his gun at Big Daddy and demands that he give him the combination, but Hit-Girl whacks him in the head with a stick and then tries to attack John, but John shoots her, injuring her. He then continues to shoot her until she falls out of a window, while Big Daddy screams over his daughter's apparent death. Kick-Ass watches in horror as Red Mist says that that was awesome. Big Daddy then curses John, but John tells him that he's got no one to blame but himself for training her. John then orders his men to take Big Daddy and Kick-Ass to the basement and that Bobby Ball-Buster's on his way. One of his men then pistol-whips Kick-Ass. Later, Kick-Ass wakes up in the basement of John's penthouse, duct-taped to a chair as Bobby Ball-Buster gets ready. Red Mist then says that his dad was impressed about how many times it took to knock him out and asks him about his secret, but Kick-Ass just tells him about the metal plates in his head. Kick-Ass then asks what they're doing. Red Mist though tells him that his dad was impressed with him, and that his father always thought of him as a spoiled, comic-book loving pussy. He then continues on and says that his dad's been trying to catch Hit-Girl and Big Daddy for weeks until he told him that he could trap them. Bobby Ball-Buster then cuts off the pants of Kick-Ass's costume and attaches metal croc clips to his testicles as Kick-Ass asks what he's doing. Red Mist though says that Bobby's gonna electrocute his testicles until he tells them everything that he knows about them. He then says that he knows he doesn't know anything, but then says that his dad wants to make sure. He then admits that he's wanted to see him suffer since the day they met. Bobby then attaches the other ends of the clips to an electrical generator and turns it on, electrocuting Kick-Ass's testicles, causing him to scream in pain as he yells that he'll tell them anything he wants. Red Mist though says that they won't be starting to ask questions for another 10 minutes. Red Mist then leaves as John's men continue to watch Kick-Ass's testicles get electrocuted. Dave then says that he's gonna skip this since he already showed them that part, and admits that he told them everything, including his name, favorite color,, his secret crush on Leeza Gibbons and everything he knew about Hit-Girl and Big Daddy. John and Red Mist, along with some goons carrying a bloody Big Daddy. John then says that they couldn't get Big Daddy to talk since he was too busy crying over his daughter's death. One of his men then tells John that Kick-Ass told them about how Big Daddy used to be a cop and that they killed his wife when he refused to join them and left with his daughter. Teddy though says that he doesn't remember any ex-cops, and John says he doesn't either. John then orders his goon to tell Bobby to wire up Big Daddy, until Big Daddy admits that he's actually an accountant, much to Kick-Ass's shock as his testicles continue to get electrocuted. Big Daddy then admits that he's an accountant that was married to a woman that hates him and that he hated his friends and his life and that he ran away with his daughter to build them another life. He then admits that he's a fanboy and another guy in a costume, like Kick-Ass. John thinks he's lying, but Big Daddy tells him the combination to the suitcase. Red Mist then opens up the case to find it full of old comics. Big Daddy then admits that he's been selling his old comics on eBay to fund his and Mindy's crusade for 10 years. Red Mist then admits that he's telling the truth. John then asks why they decided to go after him and kill his men, but Big Daddy says that they just needed a villain. He then says that he just wanted his daughter to have an interesting life and that he wanted her to be different. John then orders his men to kill Big Daddy and Kick-Ass as he, Red Mist, and Teddy leave the room, along with the suitcase. Kick-Ass though yells that he's never been in trouble before. One of the goons then shoots Big Daddy in the back of the head, killing him as Kick-Ass watches in horror. Dave then comes up with an idea as a plan formed in his head, and that it was his last resort. He then starts cursing out the goons, causing them to look at him in confusion. Frankie then punches Kick-Ass in the face, but Kick-Ass mocks his punch, causing Frankie to punch him again. Kick-Ass though yells at him to punch him harder, causing Frankie to hit him harder. Kick-Ass then continues to mock him, causing Frankie to punch him even harder, knocking over the chair. Frankie and another goon then start stomping on him, breaking the chair as Dave thanks God and the metal plates in his head. Kick-Ass then manages to get back up, pulls up his pants and grabs one of the chair's legs and faces them. Frankie though mocks him by saying that those comics messed with his head and that he can't do that stuff in real life. One of the goons then pins him against a crate as Frankie aims his gun at him. Suddenly, a voice calls out to them, causing everyone to look around in confusion as Kick-Ass recognizes the voice. Hit-Girl then leaps from the shadows and starts fighting the goons while Kick-Ass crawls to the door to hit the light switch and turn the lights on. Hit-Girl then kills all of them as she points her swords at the last goon, who tells her that she should be dead. Hit-Girl though says that she's wearing kevlar everywhere and then slices him to death. Hit-Girl then tells Kick-Ass to come along, but Kick-Ass just stares at Big Daddy's corpse and tells her that her father made everything up, but Hit-Girl tells him that she'll grieve later after they finish the job. Upstairs, John sits with Teddy and his other goons as they enjoy a drink when they get a message from their intercom downstairs that tells them they're all gonna die. When John asks who this is, Hit-Girl just replies, "Just a little kid in a Halloween costume." She and Kick-Ass then enter the elevator as they bump fists. Kick-Ass then uses the duct tape from his restraints to keep his pants up as he holds 2 of the chair's legs as weapons as he and Hit-Girl get ready to go up there and kick their asses.
Upstairs, John and his men load their guns as they wait for the elevator to come up. John then orders Red Mist to lock himself in his room. Red Mist tries to object, but John orders him to go to his room. In the elevator, Hit-Girl injects a drug known as "condition red" up her nose, which she says to only use in emergencies and will give her super strength. Kick-Ass though asks if it's cocaine, but Hit-Girl tells him that it's a chemical compound developed by scientists. She then asks him to open up her backpack. The elevator then reaches the top floor as John and his men get ready. Hit-Girl then asks if he's ready, but Kick-Ass tells her that they fried his testicles and then uses one of his sticks to smash out the lights. As soon as the door opens, John and his men start firing their guns into the shaft. When the smoke clears, Hit-Girl emerges with a flamethrower and fries some of his goons while John and some of his other men manage to escape. Hit-Girl then says that that was for her dad and Kick-Ass's balls. The sprinklers then activate as John's men continue to burn. Hit-Girl then tells Kick-Ass that Red Mist's room is 3 doors down. Kick-Ass though asks her what she's gonna do, but Hit-Girl takes out 2 guns and screams "It's fucking CLOBBERING TIME!" as she runs after John and his men. In his room, Chris Genovese becomes scared as he locks himself in his bathroom. Kick-Ass then runs down the hall, screaming Chris's name. Chris then comes out of his room with a gun and says that he's not gonna hide from him. Chris then yells at him that he's got the gun and that he's in control, but Kick-Ass knocks the gun out of his hand and then smashes his sticks into his face until they break. Kick-Ass then looks down at Red Mist's unconscious body and leaves him with his face covered in bruises and blood. Meanwhile, John's men wait for Hit-Girl with their bats and guns ready. Suddenly, Hit-Girl sneaks into the room and starts firing her guns at the men, killing most of them. She then draws her swords as she faces the 3 remaining goons. In the kitchen, John, Teddy, and the rest of his men wait for her. Suddenly, 3 heads roll into the kitchen as Hit-Girl enters the kitchen and immediately kills 2 of the men. One of the goons though manages to grab her from behind and holds her down as John beats her with a meat tenderizer as he mocks her. Kick-Ass grabs Red Mist's gun and runs down the hallway, past all of the bloody corpses, as he yells for Hit-Girl. John then tells Hit-Girl, who's face is covered in blood, that kids her age can't fight grownups. Kick-Ass then enters the room and aims his gun at John. John though doesn't think that he'll shoot him, but Kick-Ass ends up shooting him in the dick, releasing Hit-Girl as John starts shouting Marty and Todd's new curse word, "tunk." Hit-Girl then grabs a meat-cleaver and slices John in the head, killing him, while Kick-Ass comments about how fast his friends' new curse word caught on. Hit-Girl then grabs 2 guns off the floor and shoots and kills all of the remaining goons as Kick-Ass ducks and lays on the floor. When he looks up, he sees that all of them are dead. Hit-Girl then takes off her mask and starts crying as she asks Kick-Ass for a hug to comfort her over her father's death. Kick-Ass then hugs her as she continues to mourn. Later, the police carry out all of the dead bodies as Dave narrates that the deaths were once again blamed on gang violence. He then says that maybe the cops knew something was going on, but they might actually like it. He then says that he and Hit-Girl became a legend on superhero blogs as some nerds in costumes read about their success. Later, Dave and Mindy, both covered in bandages, stand in front of Big Daddy's grave. Dave then narrates that Mindy now wants to give up being Hit-Girl and be a normal girl. He then says that they managed to track down Mindy's mom, who never stopped searching for her missing child. Dave then hides and watches from behind a tree as Mindy walks up to the front door of a house and knocks. Mindy's mother, Kathleen, then answers the door. Later, Kathleen pushes a smiling Mindy on a swing as her new husband watches. Dave then says that Kathleen married her investigating officer, Detective Marcus Williams as they started playing with her. Dave then says that Mindy never got violent again, except for that one time at school. At school, 2 bullies walk over to Mindy and order her to give them her money. Mindy though just smiles. Later, an ambulance comes and takes the 2 bullies to the hospital. Dave then says that everything worked out. At school, Katie goes over to Dave and tells him that a guy showed up at her house and yelled that he wasn't gay and asks him if that was him. Dave then admits that he's not gay and that he made it up. He then sets his backpack down as he grabs Katie's hands and admits his love for her and that he pretended to be gay so he could get to know her and maybe she'd fall in love with him as well. Katie though yells at him for making a fool out of her. Katie's new boyfriend, Carl then comes over as Katie orders him to beat up Dave, which Carl happily does. As he walks home with blood and bruises all over his face, Dave says that his dad has been dating a girl he met on a grieving forum. He then walks into his house and finds Jimmy having sex with Lucille, Eddie Lomas's ex-girlfriend, on the couch. They then stop as Jimmy introduces Lucille to Dave and tells him that her boyfriend was killed in a gang-related accident and that they've been supporting each other. He then tells him that Lucille's going to be staying for dinner. Dave says hello to Lucille, but then lies and tells him dad that he's supposed to be playing WoW with Marty. Dave then goes into his room and shuts the door as he looks at his phone. He then says that Katie's friends have been sending him abusive texts and they even sent him a photo of her sucking Carl's dick. Dave then admits that he masturbated to that photo. He then says that, in 6 months, he went from a loser to a celebrity and that he started a superhero trend as people started wearing costumes and fighting crime. On the street, the Armenian superhero from before passes by another superhero as he enters a building. Dave then says that he's changed the world and made it even more awesome than comics. The Armenian superhero then enters an elevator and asks a man to take him to the top floor. The man asks what's going on upstairs, but the Armenian superhero just smiles as he tells him that he can read about it in tomorrow's newspaper. Meanwhile, Chris Genovese, wearing a new costume, writes an email to Kick-Ass, mocking him as he types that he and his friends plan to find out his secret identity and the names of everyone he loves and make them all suffer. He then says that it isn't just heroes who are in comics, but supervillains as well. He then quotes Jack Nicholson as The Joker, "...Wait until they get a load of me."