Transcripts 2001-05

Transcripts from May 2001 strips.
==May 4==
Panel 1The E11 sergeant and Axon are in complete darkness, only their eyes visible. The sergeant's eyes look down toward Axon, who seems to be squatting and looking upwards.Caption: Meanwhile in the ... mess hall?Axon: Hay, this is like, weird! Have we like, died or something?Sergeant: We're not dead Axon! I'm telling you that you're an idiot now aren't I?Panel 2Same as panel 2, but the sergeant turns and glares down at Axon, who now looks toward the camera.Axon: Well that fact you're here sergeant, only means this ain't heaven!Sergeant: Tell you what Axon; I'll prove you're still alive and well!Panel 3The sergeant turns back toward the camera, and a large yellow spark with a WHAK!" sound appears above Axon's head as Axon winces.Axon: OW!Panel 4The sergeant grins sadistically while Axon opens one eye.Sergeant: Right, did that hurt?Axon: Yeah it bloody well did!Sergeant: Well I'm sad to say you are still in the land of the living. I can fix that if you'd like!
==May 7==
Panel 1The sergeant and Axon are still in the dark, looking upward and into the camera, respectively.Axon: What I don't get is why 'asn't the emergency lighting come on yet!Sergeant: For once Axon you have made a valid point! Why haven't they come on?Sergeant: If this were a comic strip I would say the cartoonist is being a lazy bastard but otherwise I don't know!Panel 2The darkness breaks as a pair of robot hands cracks open a door with a "CREEEEK!" sound.Off-panel (sergeant): Well it's a moot point anyway because it sounds like there's a repair bot forcing the doors to let us out.Panel 3The door fully opens to reveal an Inlay as yellow light pours into the room.Off-panel (Axon?): Er sarge, since when have repair bot's had evil, glowing red eyes?
==May 11==
Panel 1An extremely crude, MS Paint drawing of Al with snot dripping down his nose and onto his shirt and hair.Al: Instead of the scheduled SSDF, it's time for a "I've got a lousy cold and feel like shit so can't be arsed to do a real comic today" special! Enjoy while I found some clothes that aren't covered in snot!Panel 2A particularly crude stick figure.Sticky (also lettered in MS Paint): HI IM STICKY THE STICK MANPanel 3Another crude Sticky.Panel 4A third Sticky.Sticky: IV'E FUCKED YOUR MUM!
==May 14==
Panel 1Cook and Adams are standing and looking at the device in Adams's hand, which reads "DON'T PANIC" in large, friendly letters. The reference is due to Douglas Adams's death three days before the comic ran.Transmission: Sir we are getting another transmission from Norman Gates. Shall I patch it trough to your pad?Adams: Yes! Maybe We'll find out what happened!Panel 2Close-up of Adams's pad, showing a close-up of Gates sneering into the camera.Gates: Good evening cock-suckers to another fun-filled hour of "Normy-TV"! Up Next; "Who Want's to be Killed on Air?"Panel 3Gates is holding up a spherical camera to his face. An Inlay stands behind Gates, weapons ready. Some storage shelves/containers, one with the Random Power on it, are in the background.Gates: Yes folks, live from he hanger of the Inglorious we'll see if the Core's finest (HA!) can avoid having heir heads ripped off by a load of my InLay droids! (God I love those things!)Gates: Let's meet our contestants! ....Footer:Douglas Adams: So long, and thanks for all the fish!
==May 18==
Panel 1Gates is standing next to and leaning his head toward a hangar with transparent door (forcefield?) showing the captive E11 sergeant, Axon, and other crew members from the mess hall. Gates is looking over his shoulder at the hangar with a sneer, the sergeant is crossing his arms in anger, and Axon and the other crew are standing there stupidly.Gates: As you can see, I've incarcerated all of your stations "forces" so listen carefully as we are going to play a little game and I won't repeat the rules!Panel 2Adams is looking at his pad through squinted eyes while Cook stares at him wide-eyed.Transmission (Gates): It's a simple game called "Do Everything I say or they All Die", and I think you already know how to play it!Panel 3External shot of the Wildfire docked at E11. The camera is focusing on the front of the craft, with the rear partially off-screen.Transmission (Gates): I just want the ship docked at your station so I'll be sending over a pilot soon to collect it. If he encounters any resistance you will "lose" the game and this lot behind me will do a space walk without suits!
==May 21==
Panel 1Close-up of Adams glaring at his pad.Transmission (Gates): Now I know that you're a sceptical man Adams, so you probably won't believe that I used my ship to relocate a lump of your station into my hanger with your lot inside it! Therefore I guess you want proof...Panel 2Gates holds his hand out as someone pushes Axon toward him with a "SHOVE!"Gates: ...so here it is in form of one of your more dopey looking men! Say something to your nice commander!Panel 3Gates folds his left ear back in annoyance as Axon gawps at him.Axon: Yea, like, is dinner gonna be late with da mess 'all gone? I'm starvin!
==May 25==
Panel 1Cook and Adams are facing away from the camera. Adams is absorbed in his pad and not paying attention to Cook "RUMMAGE"-ing in his pocket.Adams: My God! it really is Axon! Only he could say something THAT stupid! It's true then! All that time machine shit is true!Panel 2The camera rotates 180 degrees to view Adams as he scrunches up his face in anger. Cook has a devious look on his face.Adams: Oh for crying out loud! This is just TYPICAL of my luck! I get assigned to this shit heap and think I have the easiest command in the core, but then what happens? My crew gets kidnapped and held to ransom by a 400 year old dictator in a time machine and what I do next has massive implications to the balance of power in the solar system! ...Panel 3Adams turns blue and puffy with a giant "ZAP" of electricity.Panel 4Adams falls flat on his face, brushy tail standing straight up, as Cook looks down at him, holding up a smoking taser in his hand. A mechanical box with a vent and electrical warning sticker on it is in the background.Cook: Oh I think not commander! You see I don't believe you really grasp the seriousness of this situation...Cook: Oh and don't worry. I think urine stains can be dry-cleaned!
==May 28==
Panel 1Gates gets a pager "B E E P B E E P" alert. His surprise is noted with an exclamation point. Axon is still standing there stupidly. Some Anarchist boxes are in the background, one with the Random Power on it.Panel 2Gates turns away from the camera, his hands hidden behind his body.Gates: Er... Would you please excuse me for a second? I've a private call to make.Panel 3Close-up of Gates's angry eyes.Gates: This better be good old man! You know not to interrupt me when I'm impressing the locals!Phone? (Oracle): Yes I do know and I apologise profusely for inconveniencing his grandness, but there's a problem with the plan! A BIG problem...
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