Opportunity Knockers

This entry is about the episode. For details of the contest, visit the Opportunity Knockers (Talent Contest) entry.
==Opening remarks==
*Michael: Let's face it, we are all good at something. As a matter of fact, my wife says I have hidden talents.
*Phillips: Ha, ha, ha, ha. Bragging again.
*Pertwee: You dirty old devil.
*Phillips: Ha, ha, ha, ha. We've all heard from the canteen lady.
*Pertwee: Yeah. And the Commissionaire. Yea-ha-ha-ha-ha.
*Phillips: Yeah, that you've been smuggling home your illustrated magazines of Swedish physical jerks. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
*Pertwee: Yeah, in between your copies of The Sunday Telegraph and The Observer after the show. Yea-ha-ha-ha-ha. You dirty old devil.
*Phillips: Nya, ha, ha, ha. Sexy swine.
*Pertwee: Here, can we borrow 'em?
*Michael: Certainly not. They're on sale or return. I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. In any case a friend of mine's got them now.
*Murray: No I haven't, I gave them to you back. Remember during Come Dancing when you and Ronald Fletcher were representing the South as The Announcer's Formation Dancing Team?
*Phillips: I liked their military two-step.
*Pertwee: Yeah, that's right Sir. Especially the part where he put his left hand on his hip, and gave a most curious salute with his right one.
*Murray: Even with the white gloves it was pretty obvious.
*Michael: It wasn't me. Now shut up the lot of you.
*Murray: Uhh, announcers are not what they were, are they? I mean compared with... Stuart Hibberd.
*Phillips: Alvar Lidell.
*Pertwee: Frank Phillips.
*Murray: Richard Baker.
*Murray, Phillips and Pertwee singing: And Uncle Mike Aspel and all, and Uncle Mike Aspel and all.
*Michael: Well as I was saying, we're all good at something and have talents and Lord Quirk is convinced that this is especially true of the Navy. That's why, as the Sea Lord, he has called a special meeting to find out what they are, and what ship they're in.
Category:EpisodesCategory:Season 13