Annoying Orange: HOW2: How to Sell Stuff!/Transcript

This is the transcript for HOW2: How to Sell Stuff!.
==Transcript==
Pear: Hey everyone, Pear and Orange here, and we couldn't be more excited about today's episode!
Orange: You could say it's a sell-ebration. (laughs)
Pear: That's right! Today we're showing you how to sell stuff.
Orange: What should we sell, Pear? Kazoo assets? Our integrity? Seashells down by the seashore?
Pear: I'm glad you asked, Orange! Because step one is where we select our product. Think of it this way, what's something of value that you have to offer other people? 
Orange: Do I have to pick just one? Cause I got a whole list!
Pear: Things that don't annoy people.
Orange: Oh, well, that narrows things down a bit. (laughs) I guess I got this super handsome t-shirt.
Pear: (signs) Aside from the horrible stench, that'll work great. 
Orange: Yeah, that's some genuine A.O.B.O right there. (laughs)
Pear: Yeah, well, not to worry because step two is to make your product presentable. First, we wash it.
Orange: (groans) But me and this pizza stain have been through so much together. 
Pear: Orange, we wanna sell the shirt, not smell the shirt.
Orange: (laughs) Okay, now you're speaking my language.
Pear: Once it's clean, we'll take some pictures and-
Orange: (gasps) You mean a photo shoot!
Pear: Um, kinda.
Orange: Ooh, I've always wanted to run a photo shoot! There you go! (camera clicking) You're a tiger! You're a lioness!
Pear: Um, Orange?
Orange: Good idea, Pear, now you're an orange. Touch your tongue to your eye. Yes, yes, that's the stuff! 
Pear: Dude, I think we got the picture. Now it's on to step three, be a good salesperson.
Orange: Don't worry Pear, I got this! Hey, hey you! Please buy my shirt, please! Pretty, pretty please, please, please!
Pear: Orange!
Orange: Here, I'll give you $20 if you buy my shirt. 
Man: Okay!
Pear: Dude, no, that's more than the shirt costs! You'd be loosing money!
Orange: But, but, but I wanna make the sale.
Pear: So tell him why he needs the shirt. How the shirt will improve his life.
Orange: Oh, well, every time I wear this shirt and pop out of the dark shadows, people scream and run away. 
Man: Where'd he go?
(Orange yells) (man screams)
Pear: (sighs) Orange, no ones gonna wanna buy a shirt that frightens people.
Man: I'll take it!
Pear: Huh!
Man: Yeah, my mother-in-law is gonna hate this thing! (chuckles) Hey Gretchen! 
(woman screams)
Man: (laughs) This is the greatest shirt in the world!
Pear: Well, I'll admit it Orange, you did great! You surprised me!
Orange: Would you say you're sold on me as a salesperson? (laughs)
(Pear groans)
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