I, Cthulhu

"I, Cthulhu, or, What's a Tentacle-Faced Thing Like Me Doing in a Sunken City Like This (Latitude 47° 9' S, Longitude 126° 43' W)?" is a humorous short story by Neil Gaiman that purports to be the autobiography of Cthulhu, dictated to a lackey named Whateley. It was first published in 1987.
==Synopsis==
Cthulhu dictates his memoirs to a human servant named Whateley, who duly writes down everything their master says, including interjections, such as asking if the shoggoth has been fed, or answering Whateley's occasional questions.
Cthulhu reveals that he was born in "the dark mists of Khhaa'yngnaiih", an extradimensional world of swamps and towers, lit by the light of an enormous red moon, and orbiting a faded old sun that eventually exploded. His father was eaten by his mother, who in turn was eaten by Cthulhu as he was born. The young Cthulhu was about 4 ft. long and spent his first millennia lurking in the swamps, ambushing and devouring prey while avoiding larger predators.
One Tuesday, Uncle Hastur visits Cthulhu's part of the swamp to invite him to go out, along with some other relatives, which include the likes of Azathoth, Nyarlathotep, Tsathoggua, etc. Despite feeling a bit disconnected from his cousins, Cthulhu eagerly takes the opportunity to see other worlds. At Yog-Sothoth's insistence, they choose humanity's dimensional plane as their destination, and pass through a gate to dim Carcosa. At first, Cthulhu is scared of humans, but gets along well with the King in Yellow, who finds being worshiped fun and recommends Cthulhu try the same, suggesting a world named Earth. However, he does warn Cthulhu about the Old Ones: a species of barrel-shaped, starfish-headed beings, which oppose this kind of thing.
Cthulhu arrives on prehistoric Earth, where he allies himself with a creature named Dagon and becomes the master of a native species of fish-men. At first, they rule over the seas, but when the star-headed Old Ones start fighting them, they move on to land instead, where they build cyclopean cities and devour all the dinosaurs in a single barbecue. Ironically, thanks to a cataclysm that Cthulhu blames on the Old Ones' messing around with the Earth's orbit, many of the continents sink and Cthulhu's domain of R'lyeh is submerged, while Antarctica (the domain of the Old Ones) freezes.
After that, the story jumps to another point, as a note informs the reader that three pages of the manuscript are missing. Cthulhu tells Whateley that the stars have changed and, as a result, he and his kind cannot live, so they have to stay down and wait for the stars to be right again, at which point Cthulhu will rise and reclaim the Earth. In a distant future, after the Earth has become cold and lifeless, Cthulhu plans to return to his homeworld and estivate. Only then he will mate, and be devoured by his offspring as it digs its way out of him, just like Cthulhu did with his mother.
==Characters==
*Great Cthulhu: A giant, slithering alien creature with tentacles and at least two mouths, neither of which is used for speaking.
*Whateley: A human servant of Cthulhu who has also met Yog-Sothoth (and thus likely a member of the Whateley family from "The Dunwich Horror").
*Uncle Hastur: Cthulhu's uncle, who fuses his jaws when he wants to talk to you, as opposed to eating you (like his nephew, he doesn't use his mouth(s) for speaking). Like Cthulhu, he is described as moving around by slithering.
*"The boys": Cthulhu's relatives, which include "Azathoth, Yog-Sothoth, Nyarlathotep, Tsathogghua, Ia! Shub Niggurath, young Yuggoth, and a few others". Cthulhu admits that "boys" is an imperfect translation, as most of them are "bi- or trisexual", and claims that he has trouble seeing them clearly, as due to "some particularly eldritch distortion of the planes", they all appear fuzzy on the edges.
* The King in Yellow: A mysterious entity befriended by Cthulhu. Although seemingly human, he is actually an extradimensional being who first materialized as "a mere colour out of space", and takes pleasure in conquering worlds and being worshiped as a god by their inhabitants.
*The Old Ones: A species of starfish-headed creatures with barrel-like bodies and flimsy wings, who colonised Antarctica. Cthulhu regards them as annoying bureaucrats.
*Dagon and the boys: Earth creatures that Cthulhu allies himself with. In this case, he notes that the word "boys" is used literally.
==Behind the Mythos ==
"I, Cthulhu" contains several humorous references to the stories of H. P. Lovecraft. For instance, Cthulhu musing that he always had trouble seeing his cousins clearly is a reference to "The Dunwich Horror", which states that "Great Cthulhu is their cousin, yet he can spy them only dimly". He also comments on how confusing it is that Cthulhu's kin is called the Old Ones, or Great Old Ones (as in "The Call of Cthulhu"), just like their enemies, the starfish-headed beings, are also called the Old Ones (as in At the Mountains of Madness).
==Trivia==
*The idea that the Great Old Ones were responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs would be suggested again in Brian Lumley's "The Hymn".
Category:Expanded Mythos Works
Category:Neil Gaiman works