The Caper Chase

The Caper Chase is the nineteenth episode of Season 28.
==Synopsis==
Mr. Burns opens his own university (a la Donald Trump) after visiting his alma mater, Yale, and discovering how politically correct it's become.
== Plot ==
A softball match between the Indian Point Nuclear team and the Springfield Nuclear team is getting prepared. After Homer collapses on the field, Mr. Burns and the other coach talk about the nuclear energy and how it is never going to end.
Burns goes to Yale University to collect a new generation of nuclear workers for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant; he intends to create a "Department of Nuclear Plant Management". However, when he meets the staff, they refuse to honour Mr Burn's idea, because they say that their students are highly-entitled wusses, who despise nuclear as a form of energy production. Burns finds out not only how politically correct Yale University is (much to his horror), but also that running a university can make a lot of money and refuses to fund for it. Later, he enters the Skull and Bones Society, and meets Bourbon Verlander, a member of the society. While meeting with Bourbon, Burns discovers how much a university can make, and makes a deal with him.
Back at the power plant, Burns torches all of his Yale University memorabilia and says to Homer, Lenny and Carl that he will start a new university after imagining of how to run his own for-profit college with what his college's graduation ceremony would be like. Eventually, Burns and Smithers watch a newly made commercial for Burns University, his university. After watching it, Burns himself chuckles about the slogan of the advertisement and asks Smithers if "the full Monty" has some sort of naughty double meaning. Smithers claims that only their faculty could be hired so easily, but Burns exclaims that they already have a faculty, and it turns out that the power plant employees are also the teachers that Burns chose for his university.
Meanwhile, the family congratulates Homer getting hired as a professor at Burns University. When Bart asks what he will be teaching, Homer explains that he will be giving lectures on what he does at work. Bart then asks Homer about what he does at work, to which he replies that he does the "button stuff". Marge asks him if he has prepared a reading list, but Homer thinks that he has to read, so Marge corrects him that the reading list is for the students, much to Homer's happiness. Bart then asks him what he is actually going to say to them, and Homer says that he will start telling them about the life cycle of an atom. However, Lisa starts drinking out of a wine glass, and she drunkenly tells Homer that a college education is important and tells Marge that it is her only hope for getting her out of her "pardon me, Mom - dump", causing a mad Marge to send Lisa to bed.
Lisa then tells Homer that she believes in higher education, he is a teacher, and if he makes a joke out of it, he is crushing her only hope. Bart points out to Homer that as the good kid here, Lisa is behaving in a very bad manner for shame. Homer then tells Lisa that his professor money is going into her college fund, and Lisa thinks it is good, so she asks how much is in it now. Homer replies that it depends on what they do with Grampa after he passes on, causing Grampa to shout that they should burn him, and Homer thinks that just might the most expensive option he is considering.
The next day, Burns opens his university, and tells the students to not park at the nearby Del Taco, where Jimbo and Dolph are there working as security guards. The motto of Burns University is "Ut uberiores divites". One student complains that the motto means "The rich get richer", prompting Burns to expel the students after he tells them that Burns University doesn't need Latin-translating troublemakers. Later, Lenny and Carl are at the university's break room, and Lenny asks Carl when he will throw his graduate cap, but Carl says that, as Lenny is a professor, he can't throw it and normally hardly ever wears it in general. But Lenny had his cap custom made, reading "End apartheid now", causing Carl to say that apartheid is over, and Lenny throws the cap, which worked.
In the meantime, Homer begins his first day as a professor, thinking that copying is so hard. It turns out that his first day as a professor is rough, because Homer has no idea what to teach his class, causing some students to get very confused. In order to be alone and talk to himself about the troubles of his teaching, Homer sends his class outside after saying that it is a beautiful day. Having become crestfallen, Homer says to himself that he is totally unqualified, and he doesn't even understand how to get outside from teaching.
At Moe's Tavern, after Moe asks what is wrong with Homer, Lenny and Carl say that he doesn't realize what to teach his class and that he is just not cut out to be a pedagogue.
Later, Lisa comes by Homer after she heard him saying to himself about what it is like to fail at something, so she helps Homer become a better professor by offering him a DVD boxset of inspirational teacher movies for him to watch and take notes. After watching them, Homer gets much better at teaching, so Burns chooses to sell him to Bourbon and let him work for him with educators that he has hired for his private estate.
After he arrives at the private estate, Homer is introduced to the other educators Bourbon has hired: astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings, financial educator Suze Orman, and screenwriter Robert McKee. Bourbon then tells Homer, Neil, Ken, Suze, and Robert that they must face the greatest challenge of their lives: to teach robots with artificial intelligence. At first, it starts out normal, but it turns out that Bourbon is creating an army of robots so advanced that they can get student loans, will attend the universities he has been buying up, and funnel billions of taxpayer dollars to him, much to Homer's surprise. He tells them that as Americans, it is their duty to either turn the tables on evil billionaires, or to elect them to the highest office.
Six months later, the robots are all up to their polyurethane necks in debt and are heading to Yale University, but Homer arrives in a schoolgirl costume and asks if he will see Bourbon at the last minute saving the day, but Bourbon thinks it is too clichéd. Back at Yale University, at Bourbon's integration, he says that the robots had blended right in, staging twelve productions of The Crucible at once, and the deepest Division III women's lacrosse team the world has ever seen. However, Homer says to himself that they are perfect students in every way and it is their weakness, so he takes his schoolgirl costume off and puts on a robot mask made out of a box. He then ruins the integration by acting like a robot, as the robots think that he might be offensive, causing them to malfunction and explode, much to Bourbon's horror. Homer then wonders about the cost if Lisa applies in ten years, and it will be $2,000, which is actually the application fee.
Eventually, Neil deGrasse Tyson starts teaching Lisa astrophysics, Ken Jennings starts teaching Bart mathematics, and Suze Orman starts teaching Marge financial services. Robert McKee then comes into the kitchen and finishes the episode.
==Citations==
fr:Professeur Homer
pl:The Caper Chase
pt:Um Formidável Professor
Category:Mr. Burns Episodes
Category:Education-themed episodes
Category:Homer episodes
Category:Episodes featuring guest stars
Category:Work-themed Episodes
Category:Episodes named after novels & books
Category:Highly Rated Episodes
Category:Episodes with alternate end credits