The Jimmy Dean Show: Episode 308

Rowlf the Dog is in an office set, with a framed portrait of Lassie, paying close attention to a stock ticker. His stocks are rising: American Girdles are creeping up and his Consolidated Pants just split. When Jimmy Dean arrives, Rowlf tells him he sunk his life's saving in the stock market. His stock in Imperial Lead Mining (they refine lead in plants) is up twenty points, as if in answer to Rowlf's wire: "Get the lead out of your plants." 
Jimmy hopes Rowlf has good dividends. Rowlf is unfamiliar with the term, so Jimmy explains. If he owned a cat ("What a revolting idea") and came home to the cat and fifteen kittens, "Brother, that's a dividend." Rowlf retorts, "Brother, that's a swinging cat!" Jimmy laughs and concedes the point when another stock comes in: 007, 007. Jimmy scoffs, "Double-O 7? That's not a stock." Rowlf: "No, it's a bond." Then the phone rings with a call from Rowlf's broker, M. B. Thompson (the M. B. stands for "my broker.") The broker reports increases in cheese, tomatoes, and anchovies: "Jimbo, the whole country's eating pizza!" 
Still, Jimmy warns Rowlf to get out of the market while he can. Rowlf assures him he gets inside tips from M. B. ("My broker?" "My butcher.") Jimmy jokes that he must play the market for big steaks. Rowlf: "you've heard of the Wall Street bulls and bears? Well, his kind of bull, I can't bear." Rowlf checks the ticker and finds Moonshine Distilleries is up but Federal Freight Trains is down. "I guess more people are getting loaded than boxcars." Jimmy repeats his warning to get out. After reading the Green Bay Packers signals on the ticker, Rowlf is aghast at the news: the bottom dropped out of American Girdles. Rowlf calls M. B. but gets the wrong one ("my barber. Who needs him? I've already been clipped"). Now with his broker, Rowlf sells all his stocks. Rowlf says from now on he'll only listen to one M. B. (Jimmy: "If you say my bookie, I'll die"). "My buddy." The duo proceed to sing "The Best Things in Life Are Free."
Rowlf-stockmarket.jpg
Rowlf-mybroker.jpg
Bestthings-308.jpg|"The Best Things in Life Are Free"
__NOWYSIWYG__
308
Category:Finance