Keep Eating Orange

Keep Eating Orange is the seventh episode of season five, and the forty-ninth episode overall, of No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom. It premiered on August 2, 2021.
== Synopsis ==
Mr. Lobster, Mr. R'Onion, and Mr. Pineapple break into Bikini Bottom Hospital in order to destroy the Plague vaccines. 
== Transcript ==
[The episode begins at Bikini Bottom Hospital. Dr. Gilliam is speaking to a crowd of the hospital’s staff.]
Dr. Gilliam: My friends, I am excited to announce that we now have developed enough doses of the Plague vaccine to vaccinate all of Bikini Bottom! 
[The crowd cheers.]
Dr. Renaud: ALRIGHT! Now I can get back to raping childen! 
Dr. Banana: And I can get back to raping strawberries! 
[cut to Mr. R’Onion’s Environmental Science classroom, where Mr. R’Onion and Mr. Pineapple are watching the announcement live on TV]
Mr. Pineapple: WHAT?! We can’t be distributing the vaccines now! Not even half our population has died yet! I mean, what’s the point of even having a pandemic then? We need this to last until enough fish die to bring the Bikini Bottom empire down on its knees! 
Mr. R’Onion: And of course all the progress we made in emissions reduction will now be lost! This is a disgrace! 
[Suddenlg Mr. Lobster enters the room] 
Mr. Lobster: Did you guys hear the news?! 
Mr. R’Onion: Indeed we did. Horrific, isn’t it? 
Mr. Lobster: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! While the elites and their families are exempted from the vaccine, everyone else will be forced to take it against their will! 
[Cut Bikini Bottom Hospital, where all the politicians are in line to receive the vaccine.] 
Mr. Trump: Out of the way, losers. [cuts the line] 
[cut back to Mr. R’Onion’s Environmental Science Classroom] 
Mr. Lobster: And it’s all thanks to Bill Gates! HE’S THE ONE BEHIND THIS GLOBAL CONSPIRACY TO FORCIBLY INJECT EVERYONE! 
[cut to the Oval Office, where Mr. Biden is having a meeting with Mr. Gates] 
Mr. Gates: Now, whatever you do, don’t waive intellectual property protections for the vaccines. 
Mr. Biden: But some countries aren’t scheduled to get vaccines until 2024. Waiving IP would allow them to be manufactured and administered far more quickly. 
Mr. Gates: Who cares about any of that?! Do you really think the lives of poor people in foreign countries matter more than the profits of the elites?!
Mr. Biden: Well, no but- 
Mr. Gates: Exactly! Glad you see it my way! 
Mr. Biden: Now, hold on, Jack! The virus affects everyone! The less people in the world vaccinated, the more likely we elites are to get it!
Mr. Gates: Mr. Biden, if you waive the intellectual property for these vaccines, mark my words, you will NEVER get to rape a child ever again. 
Mr. Biden: Hm…fine. 
Mr. Gates: Great! Then it’s settled! 
[cut back to Mr. R’Onion’s classroom]
Mr. Pineapple: There’s only one way to fix this! 
Mr. Lobster: STORM BIKINI BOTTOM HOSPITAL! 
Mr. R’Onion: And destroy all the vaccines! 
Mr. Pineapple: EXACTLY! 
[cut to Bikini Bottom Hospital]
Mr. Lobster: TIME TO DES-
Mr. Pineapple: [quickly covers Mr. Lobster’s mouth] Quiet, blasted buffoon! Do you want security to find out what we’re doing and bust us?! This has to be a secret storming of Bikini Bottom Hospital! [uncovers Mr. Lobster’s mouth]
Mr. Lobster: But I like screaming. 
Mr. Pineapple: You can scream later. For now, just act normal. 
[The three walk over to the entrance of the hospital.]
Security Guard: Let me guess, here to storm us and destroy all the vaccines?
Mr. Pineapple: WHAT?! How did you- I mean, why would you think we want to do that?!
Security Guard: Because all of you are vocal anti-vaxxers who participated in the January 6 storming of the Capital. 
Mr. Pineapple: I see. Well, I suppose that is good reason to be suspicious of us. But we’re not here to do that. I’m just here for a check-up!
Security Guard: Oh good, then! Dr. Biden has been waiting months for you to come back! 
Mr. Pineapple: Uh-oh. 
[The security guard walks the three of them into the building, showing Mr. Pineapple to Dr. Biden’s office.]
Mr. Pineapple: Uh, are there any other doctors available?
Security Guard: Nope. 
[The security guard opens the door and shoves Mr. Pineapple into the room, slamming the door shut. Dr. Biden can be seen grinning, latex gloves on his hands.]
Dr. Biden: I’ve been waiting for you, Ms. Pineapple!
Mr. Pineapple: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
[Cut to outside the room.]
Mr. R’Onion: Quick! While Mr. Biden is raping Travis, let’s go destroy the vaccines! 
Mr. Lobster: I KNEW HE WAS A PEDOPHILE! 
[Mr. R’Onion and Mr. Lobster run upstairs, opening one of the rooms. Suddenly Ms. Strawberry runs out of it.]
Dr. Banana: HEY! 
Mr. Lobster: Oops, sorry! 
[Mr. Lobster closes the door.]
Dr. Banana: Hm...I wonder what they could be up to.
[Cut to Mr. R’Onion and Mr. Lobster.]
Mr. R’Onion: You opened the wrong door! How incredibly unprofessional of you! Next time I break into a hospital in order to destroy a life-saving vaccine supply, I will pick a more professional colleague of mine to come with.
Mr. Lobster: We don't have time for this! Get out of the way! 
[Mr. Lobster pushes Mr. R’Onion out of the way, opening another door, revealing the hospital’s vaccine supply.] 
Mr. Lobster: TIME TO DESTROY THESE CHIPS WITH MY BIG MEATY CLAWS! 
Dr. Renaud: [off-screen] Not so fast! 
Mr. Lobster: Huh? 
[He turns around, revealing Dr. Banana and Dr. Renaud.] 
Dr. Banana: Those vaccines are our gateway to being able to rape again! You’re not taking that away from us! 
Dr. Renaud: Dr. Banana is right! Larry, you’re a Republican! You don’t want my small business to be forced to shut down, do you? 
Mr. Lobster: Well…
Mr. R’Onion: Mr. Biden is raping Mr. Pineapple downstairs! 
Dr. Renaud: He is?! I’ve gotta get this on video! 
[Dr. Renaud quickly runs downstairs.]
Dr. Banana: Well, I suppose it’s just you two vs. me now.
[Dr. Banana quickly dresses up Mr. Lobster as a strawberry and Mr. R’Onion as a pear.]
Mr. R’Onion: Oh, yes, YES! It’s my dream come true! I’m a plant! 
[Suddenly Dr. Banana jumps on Mr. R’Onion’s face.]
Mr. R’Onion: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 
Mr. Lobster: Pft, I’m not scared of that pussy liberal! 
Dr. Banana: COME HERE, YOU JUICY, JUICY STRAWBERRY! [jumps on Mr. Lobster]
Mr. Lobster: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 
[Mr. Lobster falls down, smashing all of the vaccine vials. Dr. Banana can be seen thrusting his girthy banana cock into Mr. Lobster’s mouth, when suddenly he realizes the vaccines have been destroyed.] 
Dr. Banana: OH NO! 
[He pulls his girthy banana cock out of Mr. Lobster’s mouth, jumping down to the ground and digging through the vaccines.] 
Dr. Banana: There’s gotta be some that are still intact! There’s gotta be SOME! 
Mr. Lobster: Pft, you don’t need vaccines! Those are simply man-made creations! God’s natural creations can cure you of any illness! Would you rather take man’s substance, or keep eating orange? 
[Mr. Lobster then takes out Mr. Orange, taking a bite out of his face. Mr. R’Onion then slaps him.]
Mr. R’Onion: YOU KEEP THAT PLANT OUT OF YOUR BIG MEATY CLAWS, YOU BARBARIAN! 
Mr. Lobster: Well, I suppose banana will work too. 
[He picks up Dr. Banana, shoving his girthy banana cock back into his mouth. Dr. Banana grins and begins thrusting. Cut to Mr. R’Onion, who watches with disgust.]
Mr. Lobster: [off-screen] OH YEAH, KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING! I CAN REALLY FEEL THOSE NATURAL ESSENCES PUMPING THROUGH MY BLOODSTREAM! 
[The episode ends.] 
Category:No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom
Category:No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom Fifth Season