Animaniacs (2024 film)/Trailer transcripts

== Teaser Trailer ==
(The 2019-2023 Warner Bros. Pictures logo with the WBD tagline)
(The Warner Bros. Pictures Animation Logo)
(The Amblin Entertainment logo)
(The Legendary Entertainment Logo)
(Wakko and Dot playing video games in the Water Tower. Yakko walks in and tells his siblings his idea)
Yakko: Uhhhhhhhh… You know what I’ve been thinking about, sibs? I’ve been thinking about that it’s time we make a Animaniacs movie.
Wakko: But we already did a movie years ago, remember? (Pulls out a DVD copy of Wakko’s Wish) Wakko’s Wish.
Yakko: Not a direct-to-video movie, Wakko. I’m talking about the real blockbuster movie. The three of us on the big screen! Viewed by millions of moviegoers!
Dot: Really, like for real?!
Yakko: Exactly! 
Wakko: As long as I can eat as many food on set, I’m in!
Dot: Same here! I always knew my cute face would make it on the silver screen someday. 
Yakko: That’s the spirit! Now the movie will stars us, of course. But we’re going to have to cast some more celebrities in this picture. Maybe a breakout star who’s young and can sing and dance and only been in a few movies and tv shows.
Wakko: And another star to play the bad guy. Someone really talented like a A-list celebrity. Do you think we can get Jack Black to play the villain like he did in the Mario movie?
Dot: Wait a minute. What’s the film even about anyway, Yakko?
Yakko: Hmm. You have a good point, Dot. (Yakko, Wakko and Dot steps out of the WB Water Tower and reveals a real life Warner Bros Studios. The Warner Siblings looks at the Warner Bros Discovery logo and Yakko gets an idea for the plot of the movie) I got it! (Yakko, Wakko and Dot looks at the camera) But you’ll have to wait until the official trailer to find out what it’s about. (Yakko, Wakko and Dot reaches on the top of the screen and pulls down the title card with the movie’s name “Animaniacs”; Animaniacs theme song plays)
All: (Over-voice singing) Animaniacs! Those are the facts!
(Cut to the word: COMING SOON and the second word: 2024 with the 2019-2023 WB Shield, the WBPA Shield, the Amblin Entertainment symbol, and the Legendary Entertainment logo)
== Official Trailer ==
(The WB Studios appears)
Trailer Narrator: Warner Bros. Studios, one of the greatest studio that ever lived. The studio that Looney Tunes built, figuratively speaking. Many of the world’s beloved movies, tv shows, games, and franchises were made in this very movie lot. And one of the greatest animated series to ever exist in Warner Brothers history. And that show is called, Animaniacs. And those stars of the show lives in the iconic WB Water Tower in Warner Brothers Studios.
Yakko and Wakko: That’s us, Warner Brothers!
Dot: And the Warner Sister!
(The Animaniacs Theme Song Playing)
(The 2019-2023 Warner Bros. Pictures logo with the WBD tagline)
(The Warner Bros. Pictures Animation Logo)
(The Amblin Entertainment logo)
(The Legendary Entertainment Logo)
The Warners:
It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
Yakko: What do you wanna do today sibs?
Wakko: Is it just me or does the studio look a lot crowded today?
Dr. Scratchansniff: Animation hasn’t been taken seriously lately. Especially after Warner Bros has merged with one of the least entertaining companies in the world… Discovery Inc.
The Warners: What?!
(Best Friend by Saweetie feat. Doja Cat playing)
(Cuts to the blue background)
(Text: from the creators of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? & Chip N Dale: Rescue Rangers)
(Protesters angrily chatting against Hollywood CEOs and Warner Bros’ CEO David Zaslav)
Protesters: Hey hey! Ho ho! David Zaslav’s got to go! Hey hey! Ho ho! David Zaslav’s got to go!
Nora Rita Norita: I don’t like it anymore than you three, but even since Warner Bros. merged with Discovery Inc., the new CEO and president of our parent company David Zaslav has been canceling and interfering with all of our most promising projects just for some dumb tax-off!
Harper: Most of the Warner Bros library has been tarnish and disrespected left and right. Hollywood and half of the entertainment industry have been mistreating animation.
Dot: What!
Harper: At least PBS Kids knows how to treat toons.
That my best friend, she a real bad ****
Got her own money, she 'on't need no ****
(Text: They’re zany to the max!)
Yakko, Wakko, Dot and Harper: Yahoooooo!
(Text: With New Allies)
Sweetie Bird: (Yells in Mel Blanc’s voice) QUIET!!! (the protesters became quiet; Sweetie gives her megaphone to Yakko) They’re all yours, Yakko.
Yakko: (Yakko takes the megaphone from Sweetie) Thanks, Sweetie.
Nora Rita Norita: Warners meet my intern, Harper Parker. Harper, these are the Warners.
Harper: Oh my God! I can’t believe it’s really you guys.
Yakko: Ah, I guessing you’re a fan.
Harper: A huge fan!
(Text: Versus The Most Hated Man in Hollywood)
David Zaslav: I think it’s time for Animaniacs to become another tax write-off.
Harper: RUN! (Yakko, Wakko, Dot and Harper run out of Zaslav’s office and tries to make it out of the building)
Dot: Zaslav can’t do this to us! Warner Brothers Studios is our home!
That my best friend, best friend (7x)
(Fades to the the WB characters and other studios, a bunch of human and toons flying biplanes flying around the WB Water Tower to attack Toon Monster Zaslav, Wile E. Coyote launches a big red ACME rocket at Toon Monster Zaslav, The Warners and Harpers, along with robots and monster fighting Toon Monster Zaslav, Zaslav reveals a humanized Kenny from South Park)
Harper: Oh my God! You humanized Kenny! You bas-
Yakko: (Yakko cuts her off by placing his hand over her mouth) Goodnight everybody!
(Cuts to the movie logo in the blue background)
Harper: This place looks so sad, depressing and gray.
(Cut to Robot Jones from "Whatever Happened to Robot Jones?" laying on the ground malfunctioning, then cut to Creepie Creature from Growing Up Creepie)
Yakko: We’re in The Forgotten Lands. The place where unfamiliar, lesser known and forgotten cartoon characters go and live when they are…. Uhhhhhhhh… forgotten.
Father Time: The Warners? Is that really you guys?
Dot: Not to be rude or anything, but are we supposed to know who you are?
Father Time: It’s me, Father Time! From Histeria!
Yakko: Histeri-what now?
Father Time: Histeria! You know, that animated musical sketch comedy series that I’d host where the cast are often filling the roles of historical figures in comedic skits and song parodies.
Yakko: Yeah, not ringing any bells.
Wakko: Nope.
Dot: Sorry.
Harper: Even I’ve never heard of that show.
Father Time: [Becomes sad; sigh] That’s alright. Honestly, I don’t blame any of ya. What did I expect when you’re a toon living in The Forgotten Lands.
(Text: Rob Paulsen, Jess Harnell, Tress MacNeille, Jo Ellen Pellman, Jack Black, Kate McKinnon, Melissa Villaseñor, Piper Perabo, Maurice LaMarche, and Frank Welker)
(Text: August 21 with the Warner Bros. Pictures Shield, Warner Bros. Pictures Animation Shield, Amblin Entertainment symbol, and Legendary Entertainment logo)
(Cut to Back)
== Final Trailer ==
(Protesters angrily chatting against Hollywood CEOs and Warner Bros’ CEO David Zaslav)
Protesters: Hey hey! Ho ho! David Zaslav’s got to go! Hey hey! Ho ho! David Zaslav’s got to go!
Ralph: Duh,
(Ralph Accidentally falls from the Chair)
Ralph: Ow.
Human Protester #1: We’re protesting against Warner Brother!
Yosemite Sam: I hate that guy!
Human Protester #2: He ruined HBO Max!
Numbuh 4: He shutdown Cartoon Network Studios!
Wile E. Coyote: (holds up a sign that said, “He cancelled my movie, twice!”)
The Warners: Protest?
(Best Friend by Saweetie feat. Doja Cat playing)
(The Warner Bros. Pictures logo with the Warner Bros. Discovery appears on the WB Tower)
(and later changes into The Warner Bros. Pictures Animation logo)
(The Amblin Entertainment logo appears)
(The Legendary Entertainment Logo appears)
Dr. Scratchansniff: Those fans… or former fans I guess have the right to protest and be angry. Animation hasn’t been taken seriously since last year. And Warner Bros has been hit the hardest. Especially after being merged with one of the least entertaining companies in the world.
Yakko: Fox News?
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, no, no, no. Discovery owns Warner Bros.
The Warners: What?!
Harper: Ever since AT&T sold Warner Media and Warner Bros. merge with Discovery and became Warner Bros. Discovery, most of the Warner Bros library has been tarnish and disrespected left and right; shutting down Cartoon Network Studios, the Oscars from 2022, Hollywood and half of the entertainment industry have been mistreating animation.
Dot: WHAT?!?!
Harper: At least PBS Kids knows how to treat toons.
Yakko: (Yakko takes the megaphone from Sweetie) Thanks, Sweetie. My fellow Warner Brothers characters, toons of all other studios, and animation fans! Fear not, as me and my brother Wakko and my sister Dot are going straight to Warner Bros Discovery headquarters and to CEO David Zaslav’s office and show him what happens when you mess with a beloved and popular entertainment studio/company like Warner Brothers! The house that the Looney Tunes built! And we won’t come back until WB, the fans and all us toons get the respect that we deserve from jerks like him! And make it clear to him that we the people of Warner Bros. Will not or ever become a Comcast!
Human Protester #1: According to Wikipedia, it said that Warner Bros Discovery headquarters is in New York City.
Wakko: New York City?!
Harper: Don’t worry about Miss Norita. I told her I had a family emergency in New York and got someone to take my place while I’m gone.
David Zaslav: Ah! Welcome Warners and friend! Come in to my office. Make yourselves at home. Thank you, John. I can take it from here.
John Malone: You're Welcome Mr. Zaslav
David Zaslav: … Universal rejected my offer to sell Warner Bros. To them. … I cancelled all those projects for my tax write off scheme to make Warner Bros go broke and merge with Paramount. I don’t care about the fans, I don’t care about Warner Bros, I only care about Discovery and their money.
Harper: He’s planning to merge Warner Brothers with Paramount? That’s even worse than selling it to Universal’s parent company Comcast! Zaslav can’t do this to us! He can’t do that! This violates so many anti trust laws.
Yakko: Yeah! Everyone knows that nothing good happens when companies merge with one another or buy a certain franchise! And I’m not just talking about Disney. Look where happened when the brought the rights to Doug, The Muppets, Marvel, Lucasflims, and 20th Century Fox (now known as 20th Century Studios). They canceled 20th Century’s plans for movies based on video-games, including one based on The Sims games.
Dot: Plus, “Just for fun we run around the Universal lot” doesn’t make sense as “Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.” That literally beats the purpose of our last names.
Harper: Don’t worry guys. No one is getting sold to Universal, Disney, Paramount Global, Sony, or any other major or minor studios in Hollywood.
(Playing the rock n roll music)
David Zaslav: There they are!
(Text: A Big Great Journey)
John Malone: You four are coming with me!
(Text: from the creators of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? & Chip N Dale: Rescue Rangers)
Harper: Running a movie studio is not the same as running a cable and satellite network. You can’t just cancel movies and tv shows that millions of people want to see and toss them in the trash and replace them with bad movies and crappy reality shows and movies nobody wants to see. Nobody wants to see more reality shows! They want to good movies and show with great creativity, originally and storytelling. They don’t want shows like Naked and Afraid.
Fake Velma: Saids the guy who ignore the events of Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain.
(All of them “whoa” and “gasped” of what Fake Velma just said)
(Chloe facepalms)
(Text: Of Course You Realized)
(Text: This)
(The Warners and Harper runs all the persons in FanCon)
(Text: Means)
(All the toons attack David Zaslav)
(Text: War!)
(A bunch of human and toons flying biplanes flying around the WB Water Tower to attack Toon Monster Zaslav, Wile E. Coyote launches a big red ACME rocket at Toon Monster Zaslav, The Warners and Harpers, along with robots and monster fights over Toon Monster Zaslav)
(Fades to the movie logo in the blue background)
(Text: August 21 with the Warner Bros. Pictures Shield, Warner Bros. Pictures Animation Shield, Amblin Entertainment symbol, and Legendary Entertainment logo)
== TV Spots ==
Category:Animaniacs
Category:Movie trailers