Coming Home

The nineteenth and penultimate chapter of Total Drama Revolution, posted on October 16, 2011.
==Story==
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, stuff happened. All right, can we get to the point now?" asks Chris.
"Dude, I love these recap things." says Chef.
"Well, I don't so can we just get to the actual episode?" asks Chris.
"Noodles in a box." says Chef.
"I thought they were in a cup." says Chris.
"Naw, boxes are better." says Chef.
"Hey, do you have an idea for the challenge?" asks Chris.
A hot and sexy producer who is definitely not the author of this story comes in.
"All right, guys, needed challenge ideas?" he asks,
"Yeah, man, hit me." says Chris.
"I just came back from a crappy homecoming parade." he says.
"Yeah, and?" asks Chef.
"Make the contestants feel my pain by forcing them to do a homecoming parade. You can use the losers or whatever." says the guy.
"Uh, okay?" asks Chris.
"If you don't do it, Emilee will host next season instead of you." says the guy.
"LET'S GO!" yells Chris.
"On it!" yells Chef.
"Ha-ha." says the guy, once they've left, and he rips off his mask, revealing Dolph.
Elle is sitting in her room, looking through her class yearbook.
"Heeeey, maaaan." says Tasia.
"Hi." says Elle.
"What's wroooong?" asks Tasia.
"I miss Chelsey, dudette." says Elle.
"Duuuude. She's been gone for threeee days. Get over it." says Tasia.
"The only thing I have left is these hot boys in this yearbook." says Elle.
"Oooooh. Lemme see, womaaaaan." says Tasia.
Elle shows Tasia the hot boys.
"Eww, they're not hooooot." says Tasia.
"Are you serious? These guys are gods." says Elle.
"Thaaaaat one is hoooot." says Tasia.
"That's a girl." says Elle.
"Oh." says Tasia awkwardly.
"Did somebody say hot boys?" asks Kavren, bounding into the room.
"..." says Elle.
"Kavren, what do you want?" asks Tasia.
"To look for babes, dude!" says Kavren.
"Here." Elle tosses Kavren her yearbook. "Time to watch some N-Shore."
Elle turns on the TV and sees an old man in a bikini.
"Turn it off." says Tasia.
Elle turns the TV off and slumps on the couch.
"Whoo, this one is attractive." says Kavren.
"Kavren, you have a guuuurlfriend." says Tasia.
"Like I said, we aren't exclusive." says Kavren.
"Yeah, that's what they all say." says Tasia.
Chris comes in.
"I don't even wanna ask." he says, looking at the TV which is now miraculously back on.
"Better than Chatrotate." says Tasia.
"Don't remind me." says Kavren.
"Time for the challenge, y'all." says Chris.
"All right, maaaan." says Tasia.
Tasia and Kavren leave.
"Elle, you too." says Chris.
Elle groans, gets up, and leaves.
Outside, Chris explains the challenge.
"All right, some producer who may or may not be Dolph gave me a great idea for the challenge." says Chris.
"What is it, training Nyan cats?" asks Elle.
"Whoa, that'd be epical!" says Kavren.
"No, you guys have to endure a homecoming parade and a dance." says Chris.
"Uh, okay?" says Elle.
"Oh yeah, and a football game." says Chris. "The players are all the famous jocks from other stories."
A red-haired boy with freckles yells, "Doyce!"
A husky blond boy with a butt chin yells, "Chris. I'm still mad at you for rejecting me for Tiki."
A Tyler edit flips his hair and says, "This is our competition?"
A guy with dirty blond hair and a headband with a yellow tanktop just rolls his eyes and lifts a weight.
"Uh, okay?" says Elle.
"Get in the limo, everybody." says Chris.
The three remaining competitors get in Chris' limo.
"Losers ready?" asks Chris.
"What?" asks Kavren.
"Oh, you'll see." says Chris.
Dolph comes in his Nyan cat and Chris gets on it. They both fly away.
"See you at the football field." says Chris.
The limo begins to drive.
"This doesn't seem that bad, so far." says Elle.
"Elle, you just jinxed it." says Kavren.
"Not cooool, maaaan." says Tasia.
A pie comes out of nowhere and hits Elle in the face.
"See, that's what happens." says Kavren.
A pie hits Kavren in the face.
"Ow!" yells Kavren.
"Haaaaa-haaaaa." laughs Tasia.
A pie narrowly misses Tasia's face.
Tasia laughs again, and falls asleep.
Twenty hours later, they are still in the limo.
Kavren is playing a Pogeyman game. "This is the most boring thing ever."
Elle is watching Nebraska Shore on her uPod. "Not really. Nebraska Shore makes everything fun."
Tasia is asleep. "Zzzzzz..."
"How does she fall asleep so fast?" asks Elle.
"Oh, look, it's stopped." says Kavren.
They are now at the football field, and it is raining like heck. Chris meets them.
"Guys, all you have to do is run across the field without a football guy smashing into you and cracking your head open." says Chris.
"Ooh, just like Toader!" says Kavren. "Y'know, that cool arcade game."
"It has nothing to do with Toader." says Chris.
The screen shows the producers playing Toader.
"Yeah... Elle, you first." says Chris.
Elle is still listening to the TV show. "What?"
"Go across the football field." says Chris.
"!" says Elle, taking off her earbuds.
Elle sprints across the field, narrowly avoiding Doyce.
One of Radley's weights hits Elle in the head, and she passes out.
"Oh-no." says Kavren.
"Elleeee! Get up!" says Tasia.
Elle regains consciousness and sees Kurt looming over her.
"WTF?" she screams.
"Hi." says Kurt sinisterly.
Elle screams, and runs to the other end.
"All right, good enough, Kavren!" says Chris.
Kavren calmly walks across the field.
"What are you doing?!" yells Elle.
"You're gonna get yourself killed!" says Chris.
Kavren just shrugs, and keeps walking.
The crowd of football players then run towards him in an angry mob.
"AAAAAAUGH!" he screams, and runs away.
"You almost died." says Chris on his megaphone.
"I've almost died a lot, it's fun." says Kavren.
"Tasia, all right, you're the last one to go." says Chris.
Tasia shrugs, takes out a steak from her pocket, and throws it.
"MEAT!" yells Luther.
The jocks run towards the steak and scarf it down like starving dogs.
Tasia waits until they are distracted and walks past.
"Good, good." says Chris. "Now, for the last part of the challenge..."
Chris hits a button. The football dome closes, and it turns into a dance floor.
"A dance? How is this a challenge?" asks Elle.
"I'm judging on who's the best dancer." says Chris.
"Sounds easy enough." shrugs Kavren.
"The best SLOW dancer." says Chris evilly.
"Kavren, you jinxed it again." says Elle.
"Whatevs. Can we pick our partners?" asks Kavren.
Chris snaps his fingers, and Lizza comes out.
"Kavren, this one's for you." says Chris.
"DANG IT!" yells Kavren. "I wanted Abbey."
"Too bad, bro." says Chris.
"Kavrenletsdance!" says Lizza.
"Uh, okay?" asks Kavren.
"Elle, here's the smoothie guy, and Tasia, you get Dolph's Nyan cat." says Chris.
The smoothie guy comes out.
"At least I didn't get Tasia." he says.
"Actually, Smoothie and Nyan, switch." says Chris.
"@#$%!" says the smoothie guy.
The Nyan cat meows and starts to dance with Elle.
Elle throws the Nyan cat in the air.
"This is so awkward." says Kavren. "And I do many awkward things."
"Noitsnotitsreallyfun!" says Lizza. "ExceptthelasttimeIdancedwasintheeighthgradewhenIdancedwithBJSmith!"
"BJ Smith? He was the guy who had a party where Julia hit Arthur in the crotch." says Kavren.
"YeahIknow!" says Lizza.
"All right, that's it. Quit stepping on my feet." says the smoothie guy.
"I'm not trying tooo, maaaaan." says Tasia.
"Well, you are." says the smoothie guy.
Tasia kicks the smoothie guy in the gut, and he keels over.
"Tasia doesn't get invincibility." says Chris.
Chris looks over at Elle's Nyan cat, who is passed out.
"Neither does Elle." says Chris.
Dolph comes in and slaps Elle angrily.
"So, Kavren, that means you get a guaranteed spot in the final two!" says Chris.
"W00t!" yells Kavren.
"The other two, time to go to the elimination ceremony." says Chris.
The three report to the elimination ceremony.
"Elle and Tasia. I decide who's out tonight." says Chris.
"Oh, maaaan." says Tasia.
"Uh-oh." says Elle.
"Both of you did crappy in the challenge. But the person who I've decided to eliminate is..." says Chris.
"Elle. Sorry, girl."
"Huh?" asks Elle. "But Tasia is annoying and stuff."
"I thought you liiiiked me, maaaan." says Tasia.
"Nope," says Elle. "Just part of the game."
"Elle, time to go back to your house and watch as much Nebraska Shore as you want." says Chris.
Elle shrugs.
"All right, then, see ya." says Elle. "I don't want either of you to win."
"Don't be a bad sport." says Kavren.
"I can be whatever I want." says Elle.
Elle gets into the Taxi of Losers, driven by Dolph.
"I'm gonna miss her." says Kavren.
"SNOOKIIII!" says Elle, as the Taxi drives away.
==Author's Notes==
*Okay, so I know all my stories have been filled with allegories and subliminal messages about my life, but even by those standards, this one's a little much. The challenge was based on a traumatic experience I had in 9th grade, only a couple weeks before I wrote this chapter, and this must've been my way of making sense of it. 
*The jocks in the football portion of the challenge are Sprink's Doyce, my very own Kurt, SG's Luther, and Oweguy's Radley.
*Chris deciding the elimination is something that's always annoyed me.