The Return of Kelpy G

The Return of Kelpy G is the second episode of the first season of SpongeBob's NEW Fanon Wiki. It was written by and .
== Characters ==
A (debut) denotes that this episode is such character's debut to the show, while a (debutF) denotes that this episode is such character's debut to the franchise as a whole (they have lacked presence in both the 2016 series and the film). A (mentioned) denotes that such character was mentioned in this episode. 
* FryCookDaBest (SpongeBob)
* DedodatedWumbo (Patrick)
* TheLegend27 (Squidward)
* Anti-Spandy75 (Sandy) (debut)
* RichKrab$$99 (Mr. Krabs) (debut)
* Kelpy G (debut)
* PolarTem
* CrazySponge
* GraniteToast1992
* Weirdo123
* SBCA
* SeemsGood
* Cindy Lou Who's Best Friend (mentioned)
== Transcript ==
(the episode opens with a mysterious person approaching his computer - a familar song plays in the background)
You're a mean one, Mr. Kelpy G.
You really are a peel. You're as cuddly as a Sharp Kelp, You're as charming as an BLECH, Mr. Kelpy G. You're a bad Admin with a greasy Hack peel.
You're a dictator, Mr. Kelpy G. Your writing's an empty hole. Your blogs are full of spiders. You've got garlic in your message wall, Mr. Kelpy G. I wouldn't touch you with a Thirty-nine and a half foot comment.
???: (turning on his computer) Guess who’s back, fanon wiki?
(theme song, then cut to the users on Discord)
GraniteToast1992: So, the new Grinch film was AMAZING! My favourite moment was when Cindy Lou Who’s best friend ended up completely naked after testing a Santa trap, with a cookie covering his ding-a-ling.
CrazySponge: o
PolarTem: Yeah, I’ll, um… definitely check it out sometime.
(Kelpy G’s here, everyone hide!)
CrazySponge: Uh-oh…
GraniteToast1992: That’s right! His block ended last night!
TheLegend27: Kelpy G’s back? He’s the guy who took over the wiki, the incident was then made into a big film by the people in Hollywood!
Weirdo123: I’m new here, so I don’t recall what happened. Was it really that bad?
TheLegend27: Well, it was a box office success…
Weirdo123: I didn’t mean the film, but OK...
FryCookDaBest: Look on the bright side, guys! He admitted what he did was wrong before he got blocked! Maybe he’s reformed or something?
PolarTem: Why, welcome back, Travis!
Kelpy G: What? Travis? Why does everyone think I’m Travis?!
PolarTem: Jokes, jokes!
Kelpy G: So, anybody miss me?
CrazySponge: Of course not! You were worse than Granite’s opinion of Overnight Success?
GraniteToast1992: Did you just say… “Overnight Success”?
CrazySponge: Ah, I shouldn’t have mentioned that… You see, Granite, what I mean was…
GraniteToast1992: I know exactly what you meant and I’ll have you know that Overnight Success is the worst episode of a cartoon in the history of cartoons ever!
CrazySponge: Here we go again…
GraniteToast1992: In fact, I’d go as far to say that Overnight Success is the worst piece of media ever created in the history of time itself!
CrazySponge: The internet brings out the worst of everybody, doesn’t it?
GraniteToast1992: Y’know what? I’m gonna write a twelve-page essay on all the reasons why I hate Overnight Success.
(“GraniteToast1992 has been kicked from the server”)
DedodatedWumbo: I kicked him.
PolarTem: I think this essay of his will end up being a subplot.
CrazySponge: Well observed, Sherlock.
Kelpy G: Anyway, back on-topic, anything new happen while I was gone?
FryCookDaBest: Not much…
DedodatedWumbo: Oh yeah! This guy called Kelpy G or something got blocked!
Kelpy G: So, not much has happened, huh?
TheLegend27: No…
Kelpy G: Look, guys, I’m sorry for what I did, I can’t apologize enough.
FryCookDaBest: It’s OK, we know you mean it.
Kelpy G: It’s silly of me asking, but is there anything I could do to redeem myself?
PolarTem: Anything, you say?
Kelpy G: Whatever you wish.
PolarTem: Hmm…
(we see the article for PolarTem’s company “PI”, the camera zooms in on a particular section of the page)
“PI recently acquired all properties of Kelpy G Inc., a company founded by Kelpy G, in a deal that cost exactly zero dollars.”
(we see the comments)
SpongeBot678: Polar, are you really using Kelpy G’s forgiveness to make your company bigger? 
PolarTem: No…
Anti-Spandy75: You disgust me, Polar, even if I still don’t trust Kelpy.
(we see the view of Anti-Spandy75’s computer screen - she sends a direct message to FryCookDaBest)
Anti-Spandy75: Sponge, I really don’t trust Kelpy at all. How could anyone trust him after what he did?
FryCookDaBest: Yes, but everyone deserves a second chance. Right, Sandy?
Anti-Spandy75: I know, but he’s only been back on the wiki for a few hours and everyone’s already acting strange. Some people are ignoring him, some people are being a bit too optimistic and then there’s Polar who’s basically blackmailing him into handing over his stuff.
FryCookDaBest: OK, OK, so maybe the thing with Polar is a little creepy but the other two things seem normal. Give him a chance to settle in and, I dunno, “normalise” and everything will be back the way it was!
Anti-Spandy75: Sponge, you come under the overly optimistic category.
FryCookDaBest: Well, I mean, on the bright side of things…
(cut back to the main SBFW Discord)
GraniteToast1992: I’m back! And I’ve started my twelve-page essay on why I hate Overnight Success! It’s mainly because of people wearing makeup, ew, makeup!
CrazySponge: I’ll… check it out soon. I just gotta go and do something first. Yeah, I’m seeing the new PJ Masks film at the cinema!
GraniteToast1992: OK, I understand.
DedodatedWumbo: Yeah, I gotta go and do this thing too…
GraniteToast1992: Oh.
PolarTem: Yeah, same here, buddy. I’ve got to go and… babysit my father! Yeah!
GraniteToast1992: Right… What about you, SeemsGood? You wanna give it a read? I’ve only got half a page done so far but I’m working on it!
SeemsGood: Seems good to me!
GraniteToast1992: Let me know what you think!
SeemsGood: Seems good to me!
GraniteToast1992: Do you ever say anything other than “seems good to me”?
SeemsGood: Nope.
(awkward pause)
GraniteToast1992: Oh…
(the user opens open a different channel on the server)
Kelpy G: So, yeah, there’s this new spin-off I’m working on called “Kelpy G and Friends”!
RichKrab$$99: What’s it about, then?
Kelpy G: Well, it’s about… Kelpy G and his friends, isn’t it?
RichKrab$$99: Ye meant what happens in it?
Kelpy G: Kelpy G hangs out… with his friends. There’s Kelpy H, SpongeBob and Patrick. Oh yeah, Kelpy H is Kelpy G’s brother, they move in together to Bikini Bottom.
RichKrab$$99: That’s not very PG!
Kelpy G: You live in Bikini Bottom too, right, Mr. Krabs?
RichKrab$$99: It depends on what type of girl I’m chatting up.
Kelpy G: I’m a boy.
RichKrab$$99: Close enough. Anyway, could I help ye write some episodes, friend?
Kelpy G: I don’t see why not.
RichKrab$$99: Thanks! Ye can help me on Mr. Krabs’ Big Sailing Adventure if ye like.
Kelpy G: OK, um… “captain”.
(the user goes back on to her direct messages with SpongeBob - she is revealed to be Anti-Spandy75)
Anti-Spandy75: Hm, Mr. Krabs seems to be getting on well with Kelpy.
FryCookDaBest: I know, right? It’s great for him to have someone to pester besides Squidward and I.
Anti-Spandy75: Maybe you were right, SpongeBob! Maybe he has actually changed his ways!
FryCookDaBest: Well, I am a bit of a genius.
Anti-Spandy75: You? A genius?
FryCookDaBest: Go on, I’ll prove it! Ask me anything you like!
Anti-Spandy75: Define antidisestablishmentarianism.
FryCookDaBest: Anti-what?
Anti-Spandy75: Yeah…
FryCookDaBest: Isn’t that when a bunch of naked people go out a protest about stuff?
Anti-Spandy75: Sigh. Anyway, I’m gonna make another proposal against “spandy” content. I’ve had enough of people shipping us.
FryCookDaBest: Well, good luck with that.
(cut to GraniteToast1992 writing his essay about why he hates Overnight Success)
GraniteToast1992; Yes! Only 10 more pages to go! This’ll show them! Hmm… needs more dolphins though and anti-makeup propaganda. And maybe the font’s too small… Might wanna play around with the colours.
(cut to PolarTem and GraniteToast1992 in real life writing the episode)
GraniteToast1992: Oh, so I do propaganda now?
PolarTem: Um....
(cut back to the episode, Kelpy G goes on Discord)
CrazySponge: ...and then a knife flew at my head! And you were there, @FryCookDaBest! And you were there, @RichKrab$$99!
RichKrab$$99: Charming. Hey, Kelpy G!
Kelpy G: Hey!
CrazySponge: Kelpy G? Adtyfguyhijluyudtryugiuoytirfvgbjhiguyftdguyiujftdryguigdrytychvjhbh
(“CrazySponge has been kicked from the server”)
SBCA: Rip.
Kelpy G: Hi.
FryCookDaBest: Hi.
SpongeBot678: Hi.
DedodatedWumbo: Hi.
Kelpy G: I’m gonna stop this montage of everyone saying “hi” before the time limit drags on.
FryCookDaBest: These episodes have a time limit now?
SpongeBot678: Sweet mother of monkey milk! We must extend it so we can have a montage of everyone saying “hi”! (he repeatedly mashes the shift button but it keeps activating and deactivating the sticky keys) Stupid… pop-ups…
Kelpy G: Wait… sweet mother of what?
SpongeBot678: ...monkey milk? What’s weird about that?
Kelpy G: Nothing… Anyway, how long has it been since I was last on Discord? This place gives me some right and wrong memories. SpongeBot is always grillin' them patties. 
SpongeBot678: Must’ve been a while, you’ve definitely changed since you were last here.
Kelpy G: Anyway, the new episode of “Kelpy G and Friends” is out now. What do you think?
(we see the episode)
Kelpy G: You’re my best friend!
(fin)
(we cut back to Discord)
FryCookDaBest: Uh…
(GraniteToast1992 arrives)
SBCA: Sorry guys, gotta go, bye!
SpongeBot678: Yeah, me too!
Kelpy G: Me three!
FryCookDaBest: Huh, that’s weird. Why’s everyone leaving all of a sudden?
GraniteToast1992: GUESS WHAT I’VE JUST DONE!
DedodatedWumbo: Sweet mother of monkey milk…
SpongeBot678: See? I told you it would catch on.
GraniteToast1992: I’VE JUST FINISHED MY TWELVE-PAGE ESSAY ON ALL THE REASONS WHY I HATE OVERNIGHT SUCCESS!
FryCookDaBest: Looks like someone didn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again, he’s a little soft-boiled.
GraniteToast1992: Wanna read it?
RichKrab$$99: I’ve just read it and it’s amazing! Great job!
GraniteToast1992: But- But- it’s twelve pages long, how have you read it already?
RichKrab$$99: You used font size 96.
GraniteToast1992: o
(awkward pause)
GraniteToast1992: Wait, no I didn't!
RichKrab$$99: Uh...
(awkwarder pause)
GraniteToast1992: Where’s my Kids’ Choice Award?
(cut to Anti-Spandy75 direct messaging FryCookDaBest)
Anti-Spandy75: So, I feel like I’m repeating myself but you were right, he HAS changed!
FryCookDaBest: Well, I guess the moral of the story is to not judge a book by its cover.
Anti-Spandy75: Wait, this show’s doing morals now?
FryCookDaBest: I just thought it was nice.
Anti-Spandy75: Well, goodnight then.
FryCookDaBest: Good night.
(he begins to type out “luv ya” but he quickly deletes it and turns off his computer, making his way to his bookshelf where he picks up a book called “Why I Hate Overnight Success by GraniteToast1992”, SpongeBob begins to read the book, the end credits play, and the episode ends)
== Trivia ==
*This episode was originally set to air as the third episode, but was released as the second episode, following production difficulties with The Leaky Patty. However, the episode aired on the same date as intended.
*This is the first episode to feature a subplot.
*The "So, I do propaganda now?" moment was based on a real life exchange made between GraniteToast1992 & PolarTem while they were writing this episode.
*The song You're A Mean One, Mr. Kelpy reappears from SpongeBob's Fanon Wiki: The Movie.
== References to Other Media ==
*At the beginning of the episode, GraniteToast1992 and other users are talking about the animated film version of The Grinch from Illumination.
*The line "and then a knife flew at my head! And you were there, @FryCookDaBest! And you were there, @RichKrab$$99!" is a reference to the 150th episode of The Simpsons, Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" (it's a long title, I know).
*The line "sweet mother of monkey milk" is a reference to the film Wreck-It Ralph, and the line "looks like someone didn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again, he’s a little soft-boiled" is a reference to its sequel, Ralph Breaks The Internet.
*PolarTem blackmailing Kelpy G into handing over all his properties could be a possible reference to Polar blackmailing SpongeBot and Bong in SBFW Go!.
Category:2018
Category:SpongeBob's NEW Fanon Wiki
Category:Episodes
Category:2018 Episodes
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2018 Transcripts
Category:GraniteToast1992 3.0
Category:Thatjess
Category:Monorail TV
Category:PI
Category:Episodes written by GraniteToast1992 3.0
Category:Episodes Written By PolarTem
Category:2010s