Intimate and Strong Relations

The Great Hall of ‘Vadam Keep hummed with activity as representatives of the great powers of the galaxy congregated to discuss the future of our shared section of the universe. The Swords of Sanghelios and the Unified Earth Government were obviously going to be in attendance, but representatives of the Erdellian Empire – our former Adversaries – the Zaridic Dominion, the Union of Garsican States, and Ugha Corporation were also reported to be present. The additional presence of several factions of the former Covenant, many of them Sangheili-led, would also be rumored to attend this meeting. Mik and I, as some of the foremost “experts” on Humanity, were summoned personally by the Arbiter, to act as translators and interpreters.
“Kai, these khovod eggs are making me lose my mind,” Mik said to me as he stuffed his mandibles with the delicacy.
“Keep sharp, Mik,” I reminded. “Remember, we should be dignified. Why else are we wearing this shining white armor?”
“I thought it was because we were promoted to Evocatus.”
“Well, that too. But we are here in a very official capacity, and therefore we must-“
“Act like nobility?”
I paused, remembering Mik’s origins. The only time he set foot in a keep was when he snuck into mine – or I snuck him in – and was subsequently expelled when discovered. Most times, he was very proud of the fact he came from tenant farmers, flaunting at how despite his humble origins, he towered over Minors of gentler birth by grace of his rank, experience, and raw skill. But perhaps sometimes it worked against him, especially in more formal functions such as this.
“If you want to put it that way.”
“It’s not me putting it that way.” He ate another khovod egg. Then, just as he finished his morsel and reached for another, here entered the Human delegation. This was several years after the end of hostilities between them and us, and so by now I was in control of my habit to reach for a weapon when sighting a Human. However, Mik’s hand was still halfway towards his plasma rifle before realizing where, and more importantly, when he was. The two of us soon went to the sides of the Arbiter, who, while being conversant in the Human dialect of English, did not yet have a true command of it as I did, and thus, relied on Mik and me to translate some of the more esoteric informalities typical in Human speech.
The first Human the Arbiter engaged with was not the Lord Hood, the old one dressed in a white uniform, disciplined in stature and manner. No, it was one of the Demons – er, Spartans. Specifically, one in green armor with a gold visor. He had a number on his armor, which was “117.” Behind him were three more Humans of similar stature, in similar armor.
“Master Chief,” Arbiter said.
“Arbiter,” replied the Master Chief.
“I see that they have returned you to service so soon from being recovered. You are most certainly difficult to dispatch.”
“Were it so easy…”
“Hmm. It has been far too long, my old friend.”
“Likewise.”
“I’d hate to break up this reunion, Chief,” began Lord Hood, “but we’ve got a job to do.”
“Sir,” said the Master Chief, standing aside.
“Arbiter,” said Hood. But he did not speak English. No, he spoke in High Sangheili. Mik and I were thoroughly surprised, and I think I heard my comrade utter an “Oh.” “We desire intimate and strong relations with your people.” His pronunciation was childlike and somewhat difficult to understand, but not unintelligible. It seemed that he had earnestly attempted to learn at least some of our words beforehand. “We wish to consummate our relationship, make it strong. We hope that with this meeting, we make love. I will not leave until that happens.”
Mik turned away, hiding a grin and suppressing laughter. “Mik, no,” I said in a very hushed tone. He feigned coughing, placing his arm against his mandibles. Lord Hood seemed a bit puzzled, as did the Arbiter, but the Human continued nevertheless.
“I ask for your hand in marriage,” said Hood. “Our peoples will remember this day.”
Mik nearly exploded. He rushed off to one of the sides of the Hall, poorly stifling laughter. He slid underneath a shadow, near a column, continuing to cover his mandibles with his arm. I dare not look at him, for fear of chortling myself. I looked to the Arbiter, who glared with clearly visible confusion. That almost sent me over the edge, I cannot lie.
“My Lord Hood,” I began in English, with a very slight quiver in my voice, “I do not believe you understand the words you are speaking. You just said that you wanted to consummate our relationship, and that you wanted to make love, perhaps with the Arbiter. You also said that you would not leave until this happens.” A tiny chuckle escaped me, but I snuffed it out as best I could, clearing my throat. “Then you asked for the Arbiter’s hand in marriage.”
The color in Lord Hood’s face seemed to have drained away, he was so shocked. The Spartans guarding him likewise did not seem too proud of this new revelation.
The Arbiter let out an amused exhale, nodding and smiling slightly. “I am pleased by the lengths you took to learn some of our language,” he said. “I am also understanding of some of the… mistranslations uttered now. Rest assured, I knew what you really meant, for I feel your heart is honorable. Of course, the Swords of Sanghelios considers Humanity a staunch ally, and we would never betray your trust, especially all that you have done for us in the past. I truly wish for continued, amicable relations between our peoples.” He and Hood shook hands.
I looked at Mik, who was quietly laughing in the shadows. He slid down to his knees, and I could not help but let out a smile of my own, shaking my head.
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