The Simpsons Game/Quotes

:[Homer wakes up from a dream about The Land of Chocolate]
:Homer: Not dreaming, not dreaming, not drea... Wha...? ****it, I was dreaming! Why is life so unfair? All I want is the ability to eat everything in sight and turn into a giant ball?! Is that too much to ask?! **** you, reality!
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:White Chocolate Rabbit: Excuse me, fatty. You're eating our world!
:Homer: Hey! You look like that rabbit thing from that book about a girl named Alice who goes to Wonderland! What was it called? Oh yeah, Snow White in Stupidtown!
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:[After finding the "The Simpsons Game" guide]
:Bart: "The Simpsons Game"? The only Simpsons game I can think of is the one where we pretend dad isn't an alcoholic.
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:[At the Japanese land in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game]
:Homer: Okay, I'm in this stupid Japanese game. But I'm not eating sushi, unless it's covered in chocolate and there's no sushi in it.
:Lisa: An ancient Japanese village. I love learning about any culture, except American.
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:[At Matt Groening's mansion in Five Characters in Search of an Author]
:Homer: This mansion is even bigger then the inside of Snoopy's dog house!
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:[When using Bartman's grapple hook move for the first time]
:Bart: I'm like Spider-Man in a Batman costume.
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:Lisa: No game is safe from an industry that's always changing. Sure "The Simpsons Game" is fun, with its unique upgradable character abilities and its hilarious self-referential cutscenes, but what about when the Xbox 720 comes out? Or the Playstation 4? No one will want to play us then!
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:[After Bart and Lisa destroy Mr. Burns' lumbering plant in Lisa the Tree Hugger]
:Mr. Burns: All I wanted was to destroy our delicate ecosystem. And this is the thanks I get. [sighs]
:Smithers: I'm sorry, sir. Want me to get some goons to rough up Al Gore?
:Mr. Burns: I'd like that.
:[Smithers pulls his cellphone out]
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:[Inisde Mayor Quimby's pool]
:EA Executive: Congratulations, Quimby. You've made Grand Theft Scratchy Day a tremendous success.
:Mayor Quimby: Thank you, ----. Why don't we celebrate with some interns?
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:[At the game engine in Bargain Bin]
:Homer: Oh, my God! It's a nerd!
:Will Wright: That's right. The nerdiest nerd in all the computerverse! [laughs]
:Lisa: Dad, that's Will Wright. Designer of Sim City and The Sims.
:Will Wright: Don't forget my biggest flop: Sim Sandwich. Its failure drove me mad. Mad!
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:[At their spaceship, watching Bart and Lisa talking to Captain McCallister after they defeated the dolphins]
:Kodos: They foiled our plot. We must have revenge!
:Kang: Revenge!
:Kodos: Vengeance!
:Kang: Revenge!
:Kodos: Payback is ours!
:[An oven rings]
:Kang: The mini-eggrolls are done.
:[They take out a tray of eggrolls and start eating them]
:Kodos: Eggrolls!
:Kang: Delicious!
:Kodos: Hot! Revenge!
:Kang: Revenge!
:Kodos: Eggrolls!
:Kang: Dipping sauce!
:Kodos: Eggrolls!
:[Slight pause]
:Kang: Revenge!
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:[A video game cartridge opens revealing pixelated versions of the Simpsons]
:Homer: Wow. We look so pixely!
:Bart: And poorly rendered.
:Marge: Which one's supposed to be me?
:Lisa: [to Will Wright] Don't destroy them! They may be obsolete but they're still... alive.
:8-bit Homer: Help! He's crazy!
:8-bit Bart: If he destroys us, we'll never escape from Krusty Island!
:8-bit Marge: I'm Marge!
:Homer: (to Will Wright) You can't do this!
:Will Wright: Of course I can! I'm Will Wright, **tch, and pretty soon when there's a new better Simpsons game than the one you're from, I'll destroy you, too!
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:[After being transported to the game engine]
:Marge: Where are we?
:Lisa: We're in the game engine. If our life's a video game, then this is the factory where it was made.
:Homer: That's ridiculous! I'm not a video game character, I'm a real-life person with dreams and feelings. [He accidentally walks off a ledge and falls, only to reappear next to them again] Alright, fine. I'm a video game guy.
:Marge: Now can I ask a question? If this is a videogame, where do we put the quarters?
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:[Lenny and Carl are up a tree watching birds]
:Lenny: [A bird chirps] Hey, that sounds like a tree swallow.
:Carl: No, it sounds like a yellow crowned heron. [Saw noises] Oh my god! That sounds like a chainsaw!
:Lenny: No, that sounds like a buzzsaw. [The tree falls with them on it on a conveyor belt and get trapped under the debris] Hey Carl, why do we fight so much?
:Carl: Sometimes I think it's all we have left.
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:[In live, showing Lard Lad destroying the city]
:Kent Brockman: [Being filmed, Homer and Bart run towards Lard Lad and push Kent out of the way. He gets up and chases Homer and Bart] Good evening, Springfield. Kent Brockman here, chasing local imbecile Homer Simpson and his delinquent son Bart, who have picked a fight with an out-of-control Donut Mascot statue. [To Bart] Bart Simpson, are you and your father insane?
:Homer: [Grabs the mike] Hi, Lenny, I'm on TV! I said your name on TV - don't tell Carl! Unless he's watching this, in which case: hi, Carl, don't tell Lenny I said your name!
:[Homer and Bart continue running and Kent gets in a helicopter]
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:[In the creator's mansion garden]
:Bart: This is it...the home of our creator! I say we smash his face, bust his stuff, and take a leak on his lawn!
:Homer: Way ahead of you, boy! [Homer is peeing on the dollar sign-shaped bushes. Bart laughs and does the same while a camera sees them. On his office, the creator is sit on his chair and turns around, revealing he is Matt Groening]
:Matt Groening: [sees Homer and Bart through a screen] So they want a war?! Well, then it's a war they'll get! Violet, engage the super toon defense systems!
:Violet: Yes, Mister Groaning.
:Matt: It's "Grey-ning"!
:Violet: Are you sure?
:Matt: No.
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:[Homer and Bart arrive to his office]
:Bart: I bet you our creator is like a thousand foot Godzilla, with big boobs and he breathes fire snot.
:Matt: Think again, your creator is TV's most beloved animation visionary.
:Homer: Seth MacFarlane?
:Matt: Aah! [speaking in a french accent] Say hello to my little friends. [Draws a picture of Bender and Dr. Zoidberg that comes to life.]
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:[At the Heaven, after defeating God in a Dance Dance Revolution game]
:Bart: All right, loser! You stop the destruction of our town and give us some answers, or these save games go in the drink! [shows God's "Infinite MB Memory Card"]
:God: No! My saved games! Stop! I'm on the final boss fight in Oblivion, and I can't start again from the beginning!
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:(Homer and Bart are fighting the Rigellians)
:Homer: Attaboy! Kill things that are different!
:Homer: Kill them, Bart! They are ugly like Patty and Selma combined!
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:(at the realm of Mr. Dirt in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game)
:Homer: You got to admit, the Japanese makes a great DVD player.
:Mr. Dirt: Irrashamasei, Lisa. That means "Welcome". The Lisa means Lisa.
:Mr. Dirt: No offence Mr. Simpson, but I got to destroy you. Sorry.
:Mr. Dirt: You're all gonna pay! (when Homer and Lisa attack Comic Book Guy sumos)
:Jimbo: Hey lame-wads! Follow me so I can totally stomp your butts!
:Jimbo: (after he lost the battle) Way to go, Ratachu-lax! (screams in frustration)
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:(in NeverQuest, Marge is rescuing the hobbits while Homer fights Selmatty)
:Marge: Over here, you little idiots!
:Marge: I'm like Gandalf, but sexy.
:Homer: This is like one of these Police Academy movies.
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:(in NeverQuest, Marge and Homer are in Selmatty's dungeon)
:Morc: Hi, I'm Orc Moe and I'm going to kick your *s in every way!
:Homer: You shall not pass! Wind!
:Morc: Angry berserker Orc Moe!
:Homer: Hey middle-earthies! Eat my sword! Hope that doesn't sound too gay.
:Homer: (in Helium Homer mode) Wow! I'm flying! I wonder if it's science or magic or super farts?
:Morc: Uh, I peed my orc diaper.
:Homer: This is for teaching you a lesson for someone who can't watch 5 minutes of Lord of the Rings before falling asleep!
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:(In NeverQuest, Homer and Marge are in the maze with the overhead view)
:Announcer: Save keys to open doors.
:Announcer: I like eggs.
:Announcer: Homer needs food badly.
:Announcer: Marge is about to die.
:Announcer: Homer, your health bar is running low.
:Homer: Oh, can't you say something more positive?
:Announcer: Homer is about to die.
:Homer: No, you're about to die!
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:(In Shadow of the Colossal Donut, Homer and Bart are fighting miniature Krusty dolls)
:Homer: Ew, tiny bugs dressed like clowns!
:Homer: (in Helium Homer mode) Heeheeheeheeheehee, me floatie.
:Homer: (in Helium Homer mode) Look at me! I'm bloating like a princess!
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:(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Homer and Lisa are fighting earth sumos)
:Homer: Dude, get your shirt on!
:Lisa: You're not a very good host!
:Lisa: You're a culture vampire!
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:(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Homer and Lisa are in the volcano realm)
:Lisa: I'm sensing some volcanic activity dad.
:Homer: (while fighting the fire sumos) Your breath smells like pumice!
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:(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Homer and Lisa are in the glacier realm)
:Comic Book Guy Ice Sumo: We're going to flame you! Oh wait, we're ice now. Sorry.
:Comic Book Guy Ice Sumo: Here comes the abominable snow nerd!
:Comic Book Guy Ice Sumo: The snow..... so beautiful...
:Lisa: I could really go for a daikon radish right now.
:Lisa: (fighting ice sumos) Might be chilly without a shirt on!
:Homer: (fighting ice sumos) Frosty the Snowman kisses your mother!
:Ralph: It's my turn to play! Yippee!
:Ralph: I made ice poo!
:Ralph: Roundhouse Ninja Attack Turtle!
:Ralph: (after his sparklemon is defeated) Daddy, these two strangers have taken my Sparkle-man! Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
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:(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Lisa and Homer are going to the sky realm)
:Homer: Uh, I don't know if I'm going to be air-sick or seasick!
:Homer: (fighting sky sumos) Bring it, skyhole.
:Homer: (fighting sky sumos) Sky Sumo! Come out and play!
:Homer: (fighting sky sumos) Is the rain your pee? Let's fight!
:Sherri: Oh, Lisa, I heard Mr. Dirt has a crush on you!
:Milhouse: Shut up, guys! Jeez!
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:(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Lisa and Homer are fighting Sherri and Terri's Dirty Donkey)
:Sherri: Terri let you win, she totally had a crush on you.
:Terri: Oh, my God! (hits Sherri on the elbow) Will you shut up?! I'm serious!
:Mr. Sparkle: Head without body eat all day never up-throw! (cleans off by Donkey Sparklemon into a Pokemon ball and Homer catches a third sparkle on ball)
:Milhouse: Oh, man! You beat the third one, too?! Fine. Whatever. I'm gonna cry at the Temple of the Two Moons. So don't follow me! I mean it!
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:(In Five Characters in Search of an Author, Homer and Bart are fighting Matt Groening's thugs)
:Bender: I'm gonna go I-Robot on your **ses!
:Bender: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
:Bender: Aw, I broke my hard drive!
:Bender: I'm gonna need a sexy robot nurse!
Category:Quotes