Entry 4

I've been writing a lot lately...
Granted it's been all over the place, but in my defense, I'm not really good with this. Still getting use to it, but it's not as bad as I once thought...
So, we finally got some time to ourselves to play our drinking game that we normally play. This time instead of betting on coin, we bet on secrets.
I shouldn't have played.
Eloithe won and I was happy for her, but it meant everyone but her had to reveal a secret. In my drunken state I may have revealed too many secrets. First I mentioned the conversation I had with Balasar about feelings and emotions. I almost slipped up and said it was about Eloithe.
Thank the Gods I didn't. Doubt I would have been able to handle that.
I also mentioned something I haven't thought about in a very long time. The fact that since my father was the clan leader before he died, killing Agronak may mean that responsibility could fall to me. It's not unheard of for the son of the clan leader to take up the mantel.
Aegon, Leader of the Molton River Clan...
A Leader, ME? No, no I can't see that. Besides, I haven't been with them in years, but that's a whole different issue that may not even happen. I think I'm thinking too much into it.
But, if I'm going to be honest, it would be interesting; once they are freed from my brothers influence and we defeat Ada, they become the protectors/army of the the Mistborn family if Eloithe and I ended up together. A way to redeem themselves as a clan and make a difference.
But maybe I'm dreaming too much...
Max revealed he's never been with anyone before; not even kissed. I could related to never having those experiences. It's so strange; after all this time with my friends, I'm still learning about them and how much I have in common with them.
Max and I never been kissed nor had relationships. Balasar and I both get discriminated because of how we look. Eloithe and I get judged by the different half in our blood. Adrie is exploring the world for the first time, just as I did when I was a bounty hunter. Arannis has hidden pain behind his eyes as I do. Elly and I both get underestimated. Her for her size and me for my Orc blood. (People tend to think I'm just a mindless beast because of it)
Before I forget, I also learned that both Arannis and Eloithe lost their mothers. I stayed quiet as they were having a moment and I was drunk, but the truth is I envy them both. They got to know their mothers. I didn't. All I have are stories father told me about her since she died when I was little; too little to remember her. I'm truly sorry they lost their mothers, but I'm glad they at least got to know them.
Speaking of envy, I also envy the friendship Elly and Arannis have. I've never seen anything like it. I hope one day I can have a friendship like that. Maybe I can with the members of Mystic Obscura, but only time will tell on how close we all become.
We purchased a farm, an actual farm. I'd never tell any of them this, but I can see all of us living there happy. Adrie in her tree house with Balasar. Elly yelling at Arannis to leave the cellar. Max praying we have a good harvest. Eloithe cooking the food we've grown in the kitchen. Me tending to the horses...
One big happy family...
I care for them all, deeply. I will be damned if I allow Agronak, Ada, Parthina, The Black lodge, the Mind Flayer, or anyone else to take that away from me. I'll kill them all first or die trying.