Wizard 1

Chapter 1
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We start off with a description of a vine and a tree. The vine is “an odd-looking vine,” with pods that “almost seem...to look warily about for witnesses.” It's an eyeball vine, I guess...a criminal eyeball vine, attempting to mug the tree.
I'm thinking of an eyeball vine wearing a black Zorro mask now.
Then we meet our hero, Richard. We get an infodump. Richard has spent most of his life in the woods and knows all about plants. He was taught by an old man named Zedd. He has an older brother named Michael who will probably turn out to be trouble. Why? 
“Michael...[had] no interest in the woods, or in Zedd's rambling lectures, preferring to spend his time with people of means.”He spends time with rich people instead of his own family. That's never good in a book like this.
Richard and Michael's father was killed recently, by persons unknown. Daddy used to leave Richard messages in a jar; the last one he left was a piece of vine, which is why Richard is now checking out weird criminal eyeball vines. Having found the vine, Richard tries to pull it off the tree it's wrapped around because...it's an evil, tree-killing vine, I guess. Screw nature.
The eyeball vine “bites” Richard and stabs a thorn into his hand. The thorn is apparently alive, because it burrows into his hand and he can't get it out. Rather that panic and try to dig the highly aggressive thorn out of his hand, Richard...daubs it with sap and ignores it.
What? o_o
No, really. What kind of person has a thorn burrow into their hand and just shrugs and ignores it? Is this a common occurrence in Richard-land? If I had a vine bite me, and the thorn burrow into my hand, you can bet I'd be pretty upset. Is the thorn poisonous? Is it a magic mind-control thorn? Will it turn me into a yellow musk zombie?
That's a drink, that is. \~/
So instead of panicking like a normal person, Richard daubs his wound with sap from an aum plant. We get this odd image:
“He gave a smile to old Zedd for teaching him how the aum plant made wounds heal faster. The soft fuzzy leaves always made Richard think of Zedd.”
First, “gave a smile?” How can you give a smile, especially to someone who isn't present? Did Richard pull off his mouth and hand it to Zedd? This should have been “He smiled as he thought of Zedd,” or something like that.
Second, now I'm thinking Zedd is soft and fuzzy. He's a wise old teddy bear, he is. He's Zeddy Ruxpin.
Something big flies overhead. Richard can't get a good look at it, but it's red and it has wings. I'm thinking it's a giant cardinal, but what do I know?
We learn that Michael bosses Richard around, and even bossed Daddy around. More evidence that he's Bad News.
Then Richard spots a woman in a dress walking down a trail, followed by four men.
MYSTERIOUS!
Drinks: 1
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