Thorpe Park

Thorpe Park, otherwise known as Fail park, Thorpe crap, or the place we do not talk about is one of the UnUnited Kingdom's randomly placed Theme parks, which was built in 1979, because London wanted a theme park near it, and that DigitalDan says that he put his hand over Bob the Builder's mouth while waiting in line to go on Stealth, which made Chuck Norris Yell in his face for doing so,and tried to blame Theme park Unworldwide AKA Shawn Sandbrooke for it, and the rides keep breaking down, so there is a 99999999999999999% chance of You being stuck on the lift hill, stuck in mid air, or Stealth not working properly .Somewhere else in the country is a sign that also says 'Thorpe park', and do not get that one confused with this one. They say it's 'An island like no other', but it isn't actually an island, because the defenition of an island is that is is surrounded by water on all sides, not on a few sides. It was previously occupied by RMC (not Rocky Mountain construction;It's ready mixed concrete), until Thorpe park was summoned in 1979, and RMC were kicked outta there. it's only thrills are the queuelines and the fact rides break down every day, on the hour and every hour. Somtimes, it's less hassle to go to Chessington World of Adventures instead
== Some stuff this place has ==
* Stealth, which is VERY VERY VERY fast, and the signs say it goes from 0-80 in 2 seconds, but That is actually the Queue time when there is a Queue jump, normally, You have to wait 200 Minutes in line to ride Stealth, and There is a 0.0000000.1 chance of Asploding because it is insanely fast. The most common failiure of the ride is called a rollback, and that happens if the ride does not work properly. There is in fact a sign on that outside of the ride on what to do if such a thing ever happens, and it is a normal occurence if you are wondering.If You need to find the maintainance team (a Builder called Bob) can be seen normally scratching his head while looking at the stuff that make this thing work. By the ways, someone climbed up this thing, and he got banned after doing so.
* Nemesis Inferno: a Shameful rip-off of Nemesis at ALTON TOWERS that was made because Thorpe park wanted to copy Alton Towers's rides. if you have CBeebies, Tubby Custard Famine,Amogus or Robbie Rotten Virus, this ride is perfectly safe.
* Colossus: The first real roller coaster at the park, and since the park doesn't want to invest their money into it, they took the wheels off to avoid greasing them, and the grinding sounds the ride makes can be heard all over London, and even from ALTON TOWERS.Bob the Builder has said it sounds like an oil drum filled with stones from Brighton Beach, placed in a shopping trolley with a missing wheel, and pushed down the cobbled hill from the old Hovis advert, which is why he calls it Colossucks.
* SAW:The Ride, otherwise known as SORE is a Euro-Fighter themed after SAW, Obviously.The Queueline has barbed wire over it to stop people jumping the queues, as well as being very useful because it is right next to a sewage treatment plant, as well as Teletubby Land Acid Sharks.
*Walking Dead The Ride: Previously knows as X:/ No Way Out and X, WDTR was originally designed to disappoint guests and make them leave thinking about how much time they wasted in the queue. It is located in a pyramid so guests cannot see how poor the ride actually is and will still waste their time standing in a long queue to experience a piece of crap, this is obvious by the guests' disappointed looks as they exit the pyramid and remarks such as "This ride sux" The ride also features random manikins on the many brake runs, which are designed to distract the guests from how poor the coaster actually is. The height restriction is 1.4m to save the younger children from wasting their time, when they should be in Octopus Gardens on Storm Surge. During the ride it is a common place for riders, however childish, to replace the stereotypical screams of a rollercoaster with different expressions of the word "Ow!" It's also the world's Thorpe Park's first backwards in the dark roller coaster... not that it means anything. (it was later changed to face forwards in 2013)
* The Swarm: the second newest rollercoaster at the park, and it does a lift and roll a loopy thingy and then some more thingys and then its done. In 2013, the back 2 rows were broken so badly they were facing the WRONG WAY. In 2016, they regained brain cells and fixed the back rows so they were facing forwards again.
* Rush: A Glorified swingset from IKEA that is designed to swing and stop in mid air (in the sense it was too big to fit in the guy who got it's car's boot, and he said a bunch of bad words, and some guys (including Chuck Norris) started yelling at him, and trust me, Being yelled at by Chuck Norris is very painful and has made many guys go deaf (HAHAHAHAHAHA). They then spent hours assembling it, and found out some parts were missing, so they had to go back to IKEA, and get the spares, and found out that the swingset they got was discontinued,so they had to get a used copy from Ebay for £99999999999999999, and took out the missing parts , and put them into Rush. They then put the other parts in a Storage Area, and let it run for a while, until they were evicted for wasting too much electric to run the ride.
* Slammer: A sky swatter ride, which is now closed and You can never ride sky swatters again, which is currently SBNO, because birds use it as a nesting facility, and it will be transported to a top secret place in Cool Land.
* Tidal wave: a ride designed by Bob the Builder, which was intentionally designed to make Tsunamis that will destroy the entire park and all of London.
* Hyperia: The UK's tallest coaster which keeps breaking down because of Robbie Rotten.
* And, Ghost Train: which a ride of dissapointment, because you just go on the Tube, and random guys pull your leg.
== Trivia ==
* Someone climbed stealth
Category:Places
Category:Places you will die at
Category:Dangerous
Category:Dangerous places
Category:Places on the Pizza Quality Index
Category:Deadly Stuff
Category:Stuff
Category:Crimes
Category:Deadly
Category:UnUnited Kingdom
Category:British
Category:Roller Coasters