MrBallen

Jonathan B. Allen, better known online as MrBallen, is an American former Navy SEAL whose content is focused on talking of true crime cases and other mysteries. A running theme of MrBallen’s videos is he speaks of these cases in a story format and has a special hatred for the Like button.
==Channels==
===Main channel===
MrBallen created his YouTube channel on March 22, 2015, however his earliest video wasn’t posted until March 30, 2020.
===MrBallen Shorts===
MrBallen’s second channel was created on January 9, 2021. He posts a variety of random videos to this channel at unscheduled times. Videos include his TikToks, bloopers and “lost episodes”. The “lost episodes” are videos/sections of certain videos that are then uploaded as a stand alone.
===MrBallen en Español===
MrBallen’s third channel was created on February 8, 2022, the first video being uploaded two weeks later. MrBallen en Español is a fully Spanish language channel, where all of MrBallen’s videos off his main channel will be reuploaded and dubbed over by Spanish voice actors.
===MrBallen Podcasts===
MrBallen’s forth channel was created on July 7, 2022. On February 14, 2022, MrBallen released a podcast to numerous platforms. He would later create a YouTube channel for the episodes to be reuploaded. Unlike his official podcast schedule of releasing episodes every Monday and Thursday, videos to this channel would just be released on Mondays.
In September 2022, MrBallen would announce that he made a deal exclusively with Amazon Music. In response to this deal, all videos have been removed from the podcast channel, leaving only the announcement video.
The MrBallen Medical Mysteries is available to listen to on Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts. It was released on September 29th 2023.
==Podcasts==
On February 14, 2022, referred to as “Ballentines Day” by MrBallen himself and his fans, MrBallen released the MrBallen Podcast: Strange, Dark & Mysterious Stories on numerous platforms. He would be releasing two weekly episodes on Mondays and Thursdays; Mondays are brand new episodes, while Thursdays are remastered audios from his best YouTube videos. Similarly to MrBallen’s YouTube videos, he speaks in tune to a story format and has a Like button gag, however instead of the Like button, it’s a podcast’s 5-star rating.
In September 2022, MrBallen would announce that he made a deal exclusively with Amazon Music starting November 1st. Podcast episodes on other platforms would be removed and going forward, only be uploaded to Amazon Music.
Follow MrBallen's Medical Mysteries on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes publish for free every Tuesday. Prime members can binge episodes 25 - 32 early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Wondery+ subscribers can listen ad-free--join Wondery+ in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts.
==Foundation==
On July 7, 2022, MrBallen announced the The MrBallen Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to honoring victims and supporting families affected by heinous crimes through education, training and financial support.
==Personal life==
MrBallen grew up in Quincy, Massachusetts with two sisters. He graduated from high school in 2006, where he later got accepted into the University of Massachusetts because his mother, a professional freelance writer, wrote his essays; he however failed out after one semester. After a lack luster time in high school and at university, MrBallen wanted to do better. He began showing an interest in the military, leading to his mother directing him to her best friend’s brothers, who were both Navy Seals.
MrBallen ended up attending a local college in Boston, where after having graduated in 2010 at the age of 22, he enlisted to become a Navy Seal. In 2014, while on deployment, he ended up having a grenade land on his shoulder, fall to the ground and detonating, sending shrapnel flying into his hips and legs. He counts his team medic as an “all-star” for being the one to save his life that day. It was after that experience, MrBallen decided to get out of the service, medically retiring in 2017. He co-founded two organizations, one that helps former operatives, like himself, find jobs, while the other helps people get into the job.
Due to MrBallen’s two organizations, he gained a presence online where he would tell stories of his time as a Navy Seal, however he was running low on stories to tell. He was also garnering mass hate from the Navy Seal community due to him telling these stories, as people felt his goal was drifting from the organizations. MrBallen’s former teammates were upset at him as they felt he was “parading around like [he] was so cool, like [he was] Mr. Navy SEAL”. Depressed at the turn of events, but always having had an interest in the strange, dark and mysterious, MrBallen posted a TikTok about the Dyatlov Pass incident that ended up going viral. He didn’t see this as a career, however he did want to do another one. In June of 2020, MrBallen moved to YouTube to further this type of content.
MrBallen has been married to his wife, Amanda, for 10+ years, whom he met while they both attended college. He and his wife have three children together, two daughters and a son.From Navy SEAL to SCARY YouTuber | The MrBallen storySend It: John Allen aka Mr. Ballen | No Pressure PodcastFormer Navy SEAL from Quincy tells 'strange, dark, mysterious' stories on YouTube
==Quotes==
===Like button===
(listed in order of video uploads)
*“[…] If you could please gently destroy the Like button […].”
*“[…] If you could gently liquidate the Like button […].”
*“[…] If you would, please gently assassinate the Like button […].”
*“So if you would, if that appeals to you, please gently ransack the Like button […].”
*“[…] If you could, gently pulverize the Like button […].”
*“[…] If you would please gently assassinate the Like button […].”
*“[…] If you could please gently lambaste the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would ask you to gently 360 noscope the Like button.”
*“[…] If you could please gently eviscerate the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would ask you to gently obliterate the Like button […].”
*“[…] Please gently incinerate the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would ask you to gently disembowel the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to extirpated the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to please gently ravage the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would ask you to gently pulverize the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would ask you to gently bash the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would ask you to please gently uppercut the Like button […].”
*“[…] Then please, if you would, gently slap the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to please gently perform a lobotomy the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to gently dropkick the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to gently mule kick the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to gently karate chop the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to gently armbar the Like button […].”
*“[…] I would encourage you to gently take the Like button out for a nice seafood dinner and never call it again.”
*“[…] I would encourage you to steal the Like button’s favorite bar of soap, cover it in clear nail varnish and then put it back, and laugh at the Like button when their soap doesn’t lather.”
*“[…] I would encourage you to sneak into the Like button’s home and replace all of their family photos with pictures of Steve Buscemi.”
*“[…] I would encourage you to take the Like button’s computer mouse, turn it over and tape over the sensor underneath, and then hide, and laugh at the Like button as their mouse doesn’t work.”
*“[…] I would encourage you to gently give the Like button a hug, because honestly the Like button’s been through a lot on my channel - it needs a break.”
*“[…] I would encourage you to go to your local supermarket and purchase a candy apple making kit, but instead of using apples, use large, red onions and dip one of those bad boys in and offer it to the Like button.”
*“[…] I would encourage you to steal the Like button’s phone and turn off all of their alarms so they’re late for work tomorrow.”
*“[…] Please sneak into the Like button’s house and replace all of their salt shakers with sugar.”
*“[…] I would encourage you to play ding-dong ditch on the Like button’s house […].”
* “[…] Then the next time the Like button asks you to go get them a regular ice coffee, I want you to go to Starbucks and order a regular ice coffee, but with light ice, then hand that sucker over to the fool that is the Like button.”
* “[…] I would ask you to politely pull out an M67 frag grenade, pull the pin, and gently lob it in the direction of the Like button.”
* “[…] I would encourage you to sneak into the bathroom the next time the Like button is taking a shower, and steal their towel and their clothes, and then run away.”
* “[…] Please put the Like button’s feet into cement and then throw it into the ocean.”
* “[…] I would encourage you to slightly overcook the Like button’s popcorn […].”
* “[…] I would encourage you to waterboard Like button […].”
* “[…] Please take all of the Like button’s white clothes and wash them with a brand new red shirt.”
* “[…] Please replace the Like button’s shampoo with Nair hair remover […].”
* “[…] Please throw the Like button into the Devil’s Kettle in Minnesota […].”
* “[…] Please throw the Like button into the bottomless pit near Ellensburg, Washington […].”
* “[…] Please offer the Like button a Coke, but secretly swap it out with Pepsi.”
* “[…] Please give the Like button a one-way ticket to North Sentinel Island.”
* “[…] Please remove one puzzle piece from all of the Like button’s puzzles.”
* “[…] Please push the Like button into the Grand Canyon […].”
* “[…] Please offer your seat to the Like button and when they go to sit down, pull the seat out from under them.”
* “[…] Please move into the top floor of a high-rise apartment building that does not have a working elevator, and then ask the Like button to help you move.”
* “[…] Please schedule the Like button for a fight with Paul on the day before Thanksgiving in Quincy, Massachusetts.”
* “[…] Please throat punch the Like button […].”
* “[…] Please tar and feather the Like button […].”
* “[…] Please convince the Like button to go camping on their own on Mount Shasta […].”
* “[…] Please fling a rubber band at the Like button […].”
* “[…] Please cut all of the Waldos out of a Where’s Waldo book and give it to the Like button for their birthday.”
* “[…] Please RSVP as single to the Like button’s wedding and then show up with a plus one […].”
* “[…] Please offer the Like button a flimsy, plastic outdoor chair and once they sit down, kick one of the legs out from under them.”
* “[…] Please put hot dog water ice cubes in the Like button’s lemonade.”
* “[…] Please place a ‘kick me’ sticky note on the back of the Like button’s shirt.”
* “[…] Please take three pigs and label them One, Two and Four and release them on the Like button’s property.”
* “[…] Please wait for the Like button to be taking a shower, and then flush the toilet.”
* “[…] Please offer to make the Like button breakfast, but instead of powdered sugar, use baby powder on their French toast.”
* “[…] Please invite the Like button to go roller skating with you, but before you get to the rink, loosen all of their wheels.”
* “[…] Please give the Like button a weggie […].”
* “[…] Please tear out the last chapter of every one of the Like button’s books.”
* “[…] Please offer the Like button a ride home from soccer practice, but then don’t show up.”
* “[…] Please ask the Like button if you could borrow their car, and then return it with the gas gauge on empty.”
* “[…] The next time the Like button asks you for a particular link, send them a link to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up,” and disguise it as whatever it is they’re looking for.”
* “[…] Please offer to make the Like button a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but employ a six-to-one peanut butter to jelly ratio.”
* “[…] Please flirt with the Like button and tell them they are exactly your type, and then give them a fake phone number.”
* “[…] Please steal the Like button’s library card, and then take out several hardcover coffee table books, but then never return them.”
* “[…] Please order eight large pizzas to the Like button’s house, and tell the store you’ll pay cash at the front door.”
* “[…] Please invite the Like button to come out to dinner with you to a very fancy restaurant, order a ton of food, wolf it down and before the check arrives say you need to go to the bathroom, but just leave the restaurant.”
* “[…] On the next cold day, sneak behind the Like button and slap their ears, and then run a way.”
* “[…] Please sneak into the Like button’s house and line the floor next to their bed with Lego pieces, and then set off their fire alarm.”
* “[…] Please offer to spot the Like button on their next set of bench press, and then as soon as they start to fatigue walk away.”
* “[…] Please sneak under the Like button’s chair and tie their shoelaces together.”
* “[…] Please kidnap the Like button, cover them in barbecue sauce and then drop them off on the beaches of Nikumaroro Island.”
* “[…] Please invite the Like button to your birthday party, but then give them the wrong address.”
* “[…] Please offer the Like button a beer and then give them an O’Douls.”
* “[…] Please point at the Like button’s shirt and tell them they have something on it, when they look down, flick them in the nose.”
* “[…] Please invite the Like button over to your house for a sleepover and then while they’re sleeping, buzz a square of hair off of their head.”
* “[…] Please deliver a strange, dark or mysterious story to the Like button but in PDF format.”
* “[…] Please print out the final picture of Loana the Bloodthirster, but be careful not to look at it completely; always avert your eyes so you don’t get a full shot of this picture. Once it’s printed out and folded up so you can’t see it, but it inside of a birthday card and mail that to the Like button.”
* “[…] At the next solar eclipse, offer the Like button a pair of children’s cardboard 3D glasses and tell them that they can look directly at the solar eclipse with these on.”
* “[…] Please invite the Like button to your destination wedding, and assure them the dress code is 100% casual, but then actually have a black tie wedding.”
* “[…] Please sneak into the Like button’s house and chain them to the bed while they’re sleeping, and then put on the far side of the room a very loud speaker and set it to play the song “Boots Boots Boots” by Rudyard Kipling on repeat, for at least 48 hours.”
* “[…] Please take the Like button’s email address and sign them up for the following two newsletters: the Belgian Michael Jackson Fan Club, as well as the German Axolotl Fish Fan Club.”
* “[…] The next you’re over at the Like button’s house, sneak upstairs and steal off of their left socks, and then also unplug their wi-fi.”
* “[…] Please send the Like button on a blind date with Karen to a restaurant that has less than perfect service and no manger on duty.”
* “[…] Then the next time the Like button approaches you and says, “Hey, you know, where’s a good place to lay out and get a good suntan?” Suggest the far away dock on Kittatinny Mountain.”
* “[…] Invite the Like button to go on a bike ride with you, and then jab a stick into their front spokes while they’re moving.”
* “[…] I just found out the Like button does not use NordVPN or any VPN for that matter, so please hack their computer and steal their identity.”
* “[…] Please sneak up behind the Like button and viciously rear naked choke them.”
* “[…] Please release a massive saltwater crocodile inside of the Like button’s house.”
* “[…] Please ask the Like button to go for a walk with you in Northeastern Australia and push them into a gympie-gympie plant.”
* “[…] Please offer to give the Like button a ride home and as soon as they get into the car, immediately start chain smoking cigarettes with the windows up and blare techno music at full blast, and then drop them off 40 miles away from their home.”
* “[…] Please do a trust fall with the Like button but when they start to fall, just walk away.”
* “[…] Please befriend the Like button and when they hand you their phone for you to input your phone number, just Venmo yourself $1000 and give their phone back.”
* “[…] Please offer the Like button a bag of pistachios after you have meticulously removed all of the pistachios that can be opened, and you only leave in the bag are completely sealed up.”
* “[…] Please sneak into the Like button’s house and open up all of their cereal, but when you open the bags, make sure you tear them in such a way that you rip down the side of the bag, not along the intended seams at the top.”
* “[…] Please give the Like button a gift card to their favorite restaurant, but don’t load any money onto it.”
* “[…] Please offer the water the Like button’s plants while they’re away on vacation, but instead of watering them, just crank their heat up to max and never come back.”
* “[…] Please eat all of the Like button’s Oreos, expect for one and put it back in the pantry, and also crumple all of their potato chips.”
* “[…] Please go over to the Like button’s house and ask to play hide-and-go-seek. When they are hiding, which their regular coffee for decaf coffee, and then don’t seek them, just leave.”
* “[…] Please give the Like button VIP access to the Kingda Ka rollercoaster at Six Flags Great Adventure, New Jersey, and once the Like button gets to the top of the ride, go ahead and manually turn off the ride, and then close the park.”
* “[…] Please invite the Like button over to your house for Oreos and milk, but replace all of their Oreos cream filling with play-doh.”
* “[…] Please tell the Like button you’re sorry for all the hostility this year, and that you want to take them on vacation as a way of making up for it. When they say ‘yes,’ bring them to Skinwalker Ranch and promptly punt them through the portal.”
* “[…] Please offer to make the Like button a Hot Pocket, but don’t let it stand in the microwave for two minutes, instead serve it to them immediately so when they bite into it, they’re met with the tongue-scalding cheese lava flow within.”
* “[…] Please secretly follow the Like button into the grocery store, and then ram the back of their heels with your cart.”
* “[…] Please go to the Like button’s house on a really hot day and ask them to get you a cold drink. While they’re away, hide a large, raw salmon in the AC vent.”
* “[…] Please offer to install brand new hardwood floors in the Like button’s home, and on installation day, show up and remove all the old flooring, but then quite the job.”
* “[…] Please re-crust the Like button’s Smucker's Uncrustables.”
* “[…] Please replace the Like button’s 2021 calendar with a 2020 calendar that has a 1 glued over the 0.”
* “[…] Please replace the Like button’s Coco Puffs with similarly shaped dog food.”
* “[…] Please ride a crowed elevator with the Like button and at some point, turn to them and cover your nose and say, ‘Was that you?’”
* “[…] Please ask the Like button to deepen the defensive trench around OP Rock, and tell them in exchange, they can take home any of the artifacts they pull out of the ground.”
* “[…] Please offer to take the Like button out on your boat for a scuba diving trip and once they get off the boat and they go underwater, turn your boat around and head back to shore.”
* “[…] Please sell the Like button a Mogwai and tell them to give it lots of sunlight and bathe it frequently and most importantly, feed it after midnight.”
* “[…] Please remove all the raisins from the Like button’s Raisin bran.”
* “[…] Please offer the Like button a bag of Revels, but only leave them the coffee-favored kind.”
* “[…] Please ask the Like button if they’d like to play Mario Kart with you on your N64. When they say yes, have them come over and then force them to use the broken Mad Catz controller.”
* “[…] Please dress the Like button in a realistic bear suit and send them to the next Lomante ritual in Japan.”
* “[…] Please gift the Like button a free stay at a Motel 6, but call ahead of time to ensure the staff does not leave the light on for them.”
* “[…] Please bring the Like button to Komodo Island to go apple picking in the restricted section, and secretly tape a steak to the back of their shirt.”
* “[…] Please replace the Like button’s mouthwash with glass cleaner.”
* “[…] Please offer the Like button a scoop of their favorite ice cream, but make sure you sneak an elephant laxative into it first.”
* “[…] Please tell the Like button you’re taking them on a week-long vacation to Universal Studios, but instead, take them to the dentist for a root canal.”
* “[…] Please offer to make the Like button a nice hot cup of coffee when they wake up, and then proceed to make them an extremely weak and lukewarm cup of coffee, with too much milk and too much Splenda.”
* “[…] Please tell the Like button you love their new haircut, but secretly have your fingers crossed behind your back.”
* “[…] Please sneak into the Like button’s house and steal the little plastic click on their vacuum that keeps the cord neatly tucked up after use.”
* “[…] Please sneak into the Like button’s house and steal all of their sweatpants strings.”
* “[…] Please get a job as a barista at the Like button’s favorite Starbucks just so you can give them a severely burnt cup of coffee every morning.”
* “[…] Please raise the Like button’s office chair all the way up, and then break off the handle.”
* “[…] Please build the Like button’s confidence way up and tell them to run for Student Body President; help them hand out flyers, help them with their speech, and when the big day comes, don’t vote for them.”
* “[…] The next time the Like button asks for a phone charger, give them your broken one that only works when you bend the cord at a certain angle.”
* “[…] Please offer to house sit for the Like button, and while you’re there, split all of their two-ply toilet paper into one-ply.”
* “[…] Please replace all of the Like button’s socks with the kind that always slips down inside of your shoe.”
* “[…] The next time you arrive at a four-way intersection at the same time as the Like button, politely allow them to go, and then as soon as they do, immediately T-bone them.”
* “[…] Please remove all of the trash bags from inside all of the Like button’s trash cans, and then proceed to throw away various perishable saucy food items.”
==Trivia==
* MrBallen was on YouTube’s trending page for the first time on December 8, 2021.First video of MrBallen's to trend on YouTube
* It takes MrBallen roughly 20 hours to research/prepare for one YouTube video, while it takes his editors 7-10 hours.How long it takes MrBallen to prepare/research for a YouTube video
* Before MrBallen records a story for any of his platforms, he always tells that story to his wife, Amanda, first. Amanda becomes his gauge for whether the story makes sense or is interesting.MrBallen’s wife deems whether he should tell a certain story for any of his platforms (Ep4 -- "You're Dead" / timestamp 0:00 - 0:13)
* MrBallen’s mother, Jessie Thuma, writes out the scripts for episodes of his podcast.MrBallen’s mother writes out the scrips for episodes of his podcast
* MrBallen has scripts for his YouTube videos and podcast episodes, however while he records, he doesn’t read from them. He’d rather “internalize” the story.
* MrBallen enjoys playing with Tech Decks.
* For a time in college, MrBallen was world ranked in the top 30s for the video game Skate.
* MrBallen is a huge baseball fan.
== Gallery ==
MrBallen and Bailey Sarian.jpg|MrBallen and other famous true crime YouTuber, Bailey Sarian.
MrBallen - Posing with his Missing 411 book.jpg|MrBallen posing with his signed copy of David Paulides’ Missing 411 book.
MrBallenYouTubeIcon.jpg|Former main YouTube icon (2020 - 2022).
MrBallenShortsYouTubeIcon.jpg|Former second channel YouTube icon (2021 - 2022).
== Subscriber milestones ==
=== MrBallen ===
=== MrBallen Shorts ===
==References==
Category:American YouTubers
Category:Users who joined in 2015
Category:One million subscribers
Category:Two million subscribers
Category:Three million subscribers
Category:Four million subscribers
Category:Five million subscribers
Category:One billion views