Pet the Rock and the Nerd/transcript

Next Episode: Tango
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: February 17, 2024
Episode Copyrighted: 2024
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode opens where Vanzilla with the long big car, driven by Leni, is dropping off the kids to their respected school.
Leni Loud: *offscreen* Okay everyone, time for school.
Screen cuts to Leni holding Lily to Shuttleworth Daycare.
Leni Loud: Bye Lily, have a good day. *drops Lily off to preschool*
Slide transition, Leni then drives to Royal Woods Elementary School.
Leni Loud: Bye Lucy, bye Lana, bye Lola, bye Lisa. Have a good day at school.
Lucy Loud: Sigh, it's always sunny in Royal Woods. Where is my gloomy rainy clouds?
Lisa Loud: I suppose not, we should be able to go to the playground.
Leni Loud: *drives away from Royal Woods Elementary School*
Slide transition, Leni then drives to Royal Woods Middle School and drops Lincoln and Lynn off.
Leni Loud: Bye Lynn and Lincoln, have a good day at school.
Lincoln Loud: You too Leni.
Lynn Loud Jr.: *punches Lincoln in the arm*
Lincoln Loud: Ow!
Lynn Loud Jr.: Beat me while you can Stinkoln!
Lincoln Loud: Lynn, it's not a race!
Slide transition cuts to Rectangopolis High School.
Leni Loud: *drives to Rectangopolis High School and drops Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, Pink, White, Black, Brown, Cyan, Daredevil and Lyan off* Bye Red, bye Orange, bye Yellow, bye Green, bye Blue, bye Purple, bye Pink, bye White, bye Black, bye Daredevil, bye Lyan, bye Brown, bye Cyan, have a good day at school.
Yellow Rectangle: Thanks Leni.
Black Rectangle: Thank you very much.
Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, Pink, White, Black, Brown, Cyan, Daredevil and Lyan Rectangle: *enters Rectangopolis High School*
Slide transition cuts to Mrs. Puff’s Boating School.
Leni Loud: *drives to Mrs. Puff's Boating School and drops SpongeBob off* Bye SpongeBob, have a good day at school.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, bye Leni.
Mrs. Puff: *offscreen* SpongeBob, let's go to my class.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, Mrs. Puff. I'm going in. *enters Mrs. Puff's Boating School*
Slide transition cuts to Royal Woods High School.
Leni Loud: *drives Royal Woods High School and drops Luna and Luan off* Bye Luna and Luan, have a great day at school.
Luna Loud: Have a great day Leni, I'll be jammin' with Sam for a music club later.
Luan Loud: Have a great day Leni, I'll be heading to the theater for my theater club.
Mr. Coconuts: Hey, don't forget me toots!
Luan Loud: Oh right, see you after club!
Slide transition cuts to Leni parking the Vanzilla with the big long car to Patrick’s house.
Leni Loud: *gets out of the Vanzilla with the big long car* I'm totes glad you can come to the pet park today, Patrick.
Patrick Star: Well thanks for inviting me! I can't wait to see Gary's new tricks!
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Leni Loud: There's nothing more fun than bringing your pet to a pet park!
Patrick Star: *comes to a sudden halt* Leni! *my head forms into a lightbulb, then shatters*
His head regenerates, and he babbles goofily.
Patrick Star: I got one of those head things!
Leni Loud: A concussion?
Patrick Star: Yeah. But also the other thing.
Leni Loud: Oh, a thought!
Patrick Star: Yeah! I think I'd like to have my own pet to bring to the pet park!
Leni Loud: Patrick, that's a great idea! We can stop at the pet store at the mall on the way!
The two are walking inside with various pets around them.
Leni Loud: Do any of these pets pique you fancy?
Patrick Star: No. *looks at a tank with jellyfish* Uh-uh. *looks at a cage with sea bunnies* Nope. *notices something offscreen* Oh! *dashes onto a cage with a Puffy Fluff swimming around and sits on a rock* That one! *removes my face off the glass, then bounces in place* I want that one, that's the pet for me! *chuckles goofily*
The shop owner arrives with a net, as if to fish the Puffy Fluff out of the tank.
Leni and Patrick are having a meeting with Gavin, Miguel, Fiona, Jackie, and Mandee.
Leni Loud: Thank you all for coming, as you may have heard or not, Lizzie and Alex broke up.
The three friends gasped, Jackie and Mandee nodded in sadness.
Leni Loud: And Lizzie is trying to butt us out of her private relationship, but the question is...Who is the guy Lizzie talking to?
Fiona from The Loud House: I dunno, it's quite common for girls to reject their love for someone new.
Gavin from The Loud House: Tell me about it. I know a guy who knew another guy that when he dated his girl for six months, she dumped him for a more handsomer man.
Miguel from The Loud House: Yeah, that is ludicrous.
Jackie from The Loud House: I guess we need to find the root of the problem.
Mandee from The Loud House: As in...?
Jackie from The Loud House: I've seen this in a detective show that they need to find the root of the problem, that is that the detective was following someone who had a secret with someone that person doesn't know about and humiliate that person that the other person personally knows.
Leni Loud: Right, that means whoever is talking to Lizzie into dumping him is under her spell. This is my friend Patrick.
Patrick Star: Hello.
Mandee from The Loud House: Hey Patrick. It might be someone toxic in a form of someone who is handsome.
Leni in shock found someone Tanya the mannequin has found.
Patrick Star: Guys, Tanya said she saw someone coming.
Leni Loud: Patrick look.
They all rushed to find Lizzie walking in the mall.
Jackie from The Loud House: There she is, that snake in the grass who dumped Alex.
Mandee from The Loud House: I think we should follow her and see what she's up too.
The six friends tiptoed in the mall and followed Lizzie quietly. They spotted Lizzie sitting in the food court texting while hiding by the fountain.
Jackie from The Loud House: Okay, so she's texting...
Patrick Star: Now what?
Fiona from The Loud House: I think the more accurate question is...Who is she texting to?
Gavin from The Loud House: I don't know guys. Maybe she is involved in a romance scam.
Leni Loud: That's a highly good guess.
Miguel from The Loud House: We still don't know what is going with her, who is this black knight she is dating?
Mandee from The Loud House: Maybe Gavin is right, I think she might be in a romance scam with someone.
Then they saw a tall mullet muscular man in his mid to late 20's with a beard, black tank top, jeans and cowboy boots sitting in front of Lizzie, they were in shock.
Jackie from The Loud House: Well, guess it wasn't a romance scam after all.
Miguel from The Loud House: And he looks ripped!
Leni Loud: And old too!
Patrick Star: Let's go to the pet park!
Slide transition cuts to Patrick, Leni, Fiona, Miguel, Mandee, Jackie and Gavin walking to the entrance.
Guard: *stops Patrick, Leni, Fiona, Miguel, Mandee, Jackie and Gavin with my hand while in a goofy position* Hold it right there! I'm gonna need to see some proof of pet.
Fiona from The Loud House: Of course!
Patrick Star: *holds up my "pet," which is just a prock*
Guard: *takes off my sunglasses* That's a rock.
Jackie from The Loud House: Yeah!
Leni Loud: What's his name?!
Patrick Star: His name is Rolly!
Guard: I don't see how this thing is a pet?
Miguel from The Loud House: Aww, it's a cute rock!
Patrick Star: *tosses Rolly onto the guard's face* Oh, here! Take a closer look!
Rolly rolls off the guards face, and the guard falls down.
Guard: Oh, yes, *gives thumbs up* he's adorable! Go right in! *face falls flat*
Patrick Star, Leni Loud, Fiona, Miguel, Mandee, Jackie and Gavin: Thanks.
Patrick Star: *chuckles* Come on, Rolly! *clicks tongue and releases Rolly to the ground*
He lands on the guard's back of his head, and as he [Patrick] walks into the park, Rolly leaves a trail behind.
Screen cuts to various fish and humans with their pets, Sandy riding her Alaskan Bull Worm, and Nosferatu with a couple of bat jellyfish flying around his head with Slappy present. An audience of three fish watch Gary's performance and applaud.
Incidental 54: Yep, that's my card!
Patrick Star: *walks to an empty spot and lays down with Rolly on my belly, then tosses Rolly twice and spins with the rock* Rolly, Rolly, Rolly!
Rolly falls into Patrick’s face, then he picks it up and chucks it as he laughs. Screen cuts to a rock collector walking with tools.
Percival Rockhound: Oh, geode hunting is a *hits a rock with a hammer and chisel* cracking good time! *chuckles*
As the rock cracks open with jewels inside it.
Percival RockHound: The perfect crystal quartz lattice! An exquisite specimen for my collection. *slams a suitcase into the ground and opens it with tons of jewels inside*
Heplaces the newly cracked rock on top of the jewels and attempts to close the suitcase, but it doesn't close. After a few attempts of trying to close it shut, he hears something.
Patrick Star: *offscreen; chuckles* Rolly, you're the best rock ever!
Percival Rockhound: What the *pulls out binoculars* devil?
In his POV, he sees Patrick bounding Rolly around with his butt.
Percival Rockhound: By Jove!
The rock gets tossed into the sky.
Percival RockHound: Such majesty!
His eyes turn into a circled jeweled geode.
Percival RockHound: It must have quite the geode inside! *laughs*
The screen cuts back to Patrick playing with Rolly, until Percival Rockhound appears.
Percival Rockhound: Tally ho, good *offers Patrick a handshake* chap!
Patrick Star: *turns around and swings my rock, almost hitting Percival* Hello!
Percival Rockhound: *grabs Patrick's hand with two of his and shakes it* Percival Rockhound. Amateur geode enthusiast.
Patrick Star: You talk funny! *chuckles goofily, and holds my rock up* Huh? *puts my rock on my face* What's that, Rolly? Uh huh. *drops Rolly* Rolly says he wants to play with you! *swings the leash in circles* Here you go! *throws the leash at Percival while still holding the end part, causing Percival to get tangled by the leash* Have fun, *drags the leash which is still tangled around Percival* you two! *walks offscreen*
Percival Rockhound: *emerges from the ground* I will tear that rock asunder. *chuckles evilly*
Slide transition cuts back at the Loud House Leni and her friends were having a meeting.
Leni Loud: How dare that Lizzie dump Alex for some-some-some...some guy we really don't know anything about?
Fiona from The Loud House: Why can't that pedophile find someone his own age?
Miguel from The Loud House: It's quite common for older guys to be attracted my younger girls.
Jackie from The Loud House: She's just seventeen!
Patrick Star: Hey guys! I got my pet Rolly!
Leni Loud: Uh Patrick, where did you get your pet rock?
Patrick Star: Rolly is my friend. He wants to play.
Mandee from The Loud House: Well, technically if she's almost eighteen, then it's not considered pedophilia, she'll be an adult soon.
Gavin from The Loud House: But still, Alex and Lizzie were perfect to each other.
Fiona from The Loud House: Until this guy stole his thunder.
Patrick Star: Lori is at college now. She'll be back soon. Watch this. *swings my rock*
Leni Loud: Nice swing, Patrick! But we need to encourage Lizzie to get back with Alex.
Mandee from The Loud House: But what if she says no?
Leni Loud: Then we will have to convince her, just like how SpongeBob and Lincoln convinces us at certain situations.
Gavin from The Loud House: I think this calls for us to make a convincing dress for Leni.
Leni Loud: *screams in glee to Gavin* Thanks Gavy!
Slide transition cuts to Patrick's house.
Patrick Star: What a fun day.
Screen cuts to the inside of Patrick's rock.
Patrick Star: Now it's time to do my favorite thing! *leaps to my sand couch* Nothing! *molds sand into a bowl of popcorn and chuckles, then eats some of it and turns on the television*
The theme song is playing on TV.
TV Announcer: It's the Sir Urchin and Snail Fail show!
Patrick Star: *laughs*
While he's jumping, and his velocity causes Rolly to bounce off the couch. The rock touches the lamp which causes it to tip over with Rolly on it, cause the rock to break various items and decorations. Patrick eventually notices the destruction of his house and calls Leni on a sand phone. The scene cuts to Leni and her friends at Royal Woods Mall. The phone rings.
Leni Loud: *answers it* This is Leni Loud here..
The split-screen corner slides on-screen.
Patrick Star: Oh, Leni, I don't think Rolly likes TV. He tore up the place.
Leni Loud: Have you been feeding him? Pets get cranky if they don't get their food!
Patrick Star: Oh yeah! *chuckles* Thanks, buddy!
Leni Loud: Of course.
Her split-screen corner slides off-screen.
Patrick Star: Rolly! *slides a bowl next to Rolly* Leni said you need lots of food!
The camera pans out and he now has a bag of cement.
Patrick Star: Good thing I had this big bag of cement mix on hand! *rips it open and pours all of the mix onto the bowl; reads an instruction on the back* Just add water. Hm. *pulls out a glass cup from my head and swishes it, then pours the water onto the mix, and walks away* Bone apple teeth, Rolly!
The scene cuts to a sand table, and Patrick falls onto a seat with a bib and a fork and knife.
Patrick Star: Now it's time for my lunch! *pours cement mix onto my plate and delves my mouth into the mix* I like it dry! Huh?
Rolly appears next to Patrick much bigger.
Patrick Star: Woah! Rolly, you got big! *punches a hole in the wall and grabs a telephone from it* Leni?
The scene cuts to Royal Woods Mall.
Leni Loud: Yes?
Patrick Star: *from the phone* I fed Rolly, and he got big! Is he dying?
Leni Loud: No! He probably needs a walk to go potty! But make sure he wears his leash!
Patrick Star: Okay!
The scene cuts to Patrick's house.
Patrick Star: Time for a walk, Rolly! *jumps off of my rock* The world is your toilet!
The rock closes and Percival Rockhound hops on the weather vane and pulls out his binoculars.
Percival Rockhound: My word, how rotund his rock has grown. I must pilfer that plump pebble.
Slide transition cuts to Lizzie coming home with a milkshake from the Burpin' Burger. She opens the door to find Patrick, Rolly, Leni and Gavin wearing their convincing outfits greeting her from the door.
Patrick Star, Leni Loud and Gavin: Hi Lizzie!
Lizzie: *annoyed* What are you doing here?
Leni Loud: We want to talk to you about you dumping Alex...
Lizzie: My Minds already made up, I don't want to...
Gavin from The Loud House: If you just talk to us, we can help.
Lizzie: Fine, I'll sit.
Lizzie sat down and watched her friends explain.
Leni Loud: I present to you "Leni Loud's 101 reasons to why you and Alex should be back together" pat and pending.
Shows clip of Patrick.
Leni Loud: Reason number one, Alex is seventeen years old, just like you. And here's SpongeBob's best friend Patrick and his pet Rolly. *shows another clip of Patrick and his pet Rolly* Reason number two, you two went to prom together...
Lizzie sat there bored and fell asleep shortly. After ninety nine clips, Leni shows her last slide of Alex and Lizzie together in a convention.
Leni Loud: And reason number one hundred and one, you've entered Galaxy con together. And that's our "101 reasons to why you and Alex should be back together."
Patrick Star: So, what do you think?
Lizzie: *wakes up* I do love your slides Leni, honestly, but the truth is...I already made up my mind.
Alex: Lizzie, I can't stand it. You were nice to me, you asked me out for prom!
Lizzie: *to Alex* Alex, what's in the past should stay buried in the past. You need to move on and find someone who have the same interest as you. Besides, you are a boy, Patrick has a pet Rolly. That's the difference.
Alex in tears is getting depressed and puts his head down.
Lizzie: And to everyone else, that's my privacy. We can still be friends, but don't try to interfere in my private love life.
Patrick Star: That's it, we’re leaving.
Lizzie: Guys, wait.
Everyone left Lizzie's house in disappointment but Rolly breaks the door, gotten big taken by Patrick.
Gavin from The Loud House: *to Alex* Well...We tried buddy.
Alex: Thanks for trying to help guys.
Patrick Star: *pushes Rolly*
Leni Loud: Well, I guess we should butt out of Lizzie's love life.
Gavin from The Loud House: That's true.
Percival Rockhound: *sees the hole, chuckles evilly*
Slide transition cuts to Patrick dragging Rolly across a sidewalk, injuring Old Man Walker and another incidental's foot. Percival Rockhound pops up from a trash can ready to steal Rolly, but the rock hits the trash can and lands on him, which also picking up trash. Patrick smells Rolly's trash scent as a horse whinny is heard.
Patrick Star: Oh! What stinks?!
The camera pans out to reveal a trash-covered Rolly.
Patrick Star: Oh, it's you, Rolly!
A foghorn is heard as more fumes from Rolly are released.
Patrick Star: Hmm. *pokes my forehead* What am I supposed to do? *grabs a banana that was on Rolly and presses on it like it's a phone.
It briefly rings and the caller picks up.
Patrick Star: Hi, Leni!
The scene cuts to Leni with her friends.
Leni Loud: Hey, Patrick!
Gavin from The Loud House: Hello!
The scene cuts back to Patrick, and he takes a whiff at Rolly.
Patrick Star: Rolly smells like garbage water. Is he mad at me?
Leni Loud: Of course not! You can take him to a pet groomer to freshen him up!
Patrick Star: *with the banana in between my head; he takes it out* Oh! *looks to my left* "Conveniently Placed Rock Groomer." Oh there's one right here! Thanks, Leni! *presses the banana and eats it, then enters the shop with Rolly but the latter's size causes it to not enter the shop, then pulls the leash with all my might and Rolly breaks through.
He takes a seat in the waiting room.
Percival Rockhound: *offscreen* Good day, sir! *walks from a room with two tied-up employees* I'm the rock groomer! May I take that *climbs on Patrick* ample, *grabs hold of the rock* glorious, collectable rock from you?
Patrick Star: *yanks him away from the rock*
Percival Rockhound: Woah!
Patrick Star: Rolly needs a *drops Percival Rockhound* bath! *pushes Rolly with all my might until the rock rolls over Percival and rolls over to the grooming room and onto the table*
Percival Rockhound: At last, the glimmering contents of your sturdy aspects shall be *pulls out hammer and chisel* mine! *tries to chisel the rock but it rolls a bit to the right then starts rolling over, then tries to run away*
The scene cuts to the outside where crash and destruction can be heard. The scene cuts back to Patrick at the waiting room reading a book, and Rolly rolls over to him.
Patrick Star: Oh! Finished already? Wow! Rolly, you're beautiful! I gotta tell *pulls a lamp from my pants* Leni! *pulls the lamp lever and the phone dial can be heard; puts the lamp beside my ear and phone numbers can be heard being pressed*
The scene cuts to Leni and her friends.
Leni Loud: *with the phone* Hello again!
Patrick Star: Leni!
The scene cuts back to him.
Patrick Star: Rolly looks prettier than a...*takes a peek at Rolly* a really pretty thing! You gotta see him!
Leni Loud: Well, you should bring him down to the Pet Show! My friends and I are here now!
The camera pans out to an audience cheering.
Patrick Star: Gre-ha-ha-at! I'll see you there. *throws the lamp away*
A glass being shattered is heard, and the camera pans to Percival Rockhound brutally injured.
Patrick Star: Lady, you need a bath.
Percival Rockhound: *falls down*
Slide transition cuts to Lizzie and Percival Rockhound.
Lizzie: Here you go, just as promised, $50,000.
Percival Rockhound: Oh my sweet sweet Lizzie, I could never have doubted you, with your father giving money to his precious little angel like you, that makes me the luckiest man alive.
Lizzie: Oh man, you know I can always count on you.
They smooched at each other on the lips. They both went their separate ways, Percival Rockhound’s smile has turned into a sinister grin and chuckles more sinister as well, Luna and Sam were shocked.
Luna Loud: You think he might be up to something?
Sam Sharp: Let's find out.
Luna and Sam followed to his truck and started to dial the phone with someone.
Percival Rockhound: I'm gonna tear Patrick's rock apart.
Luna and Sam heard in from the truck door without making a sound.
Percival Rockhound: So get this, that Lizzie girl, you know, the paleontologist's daughter you told me about, she felt for it and gave me $50,000 all in the sake of getting a leg transplant for our mother. *chuckles evilly* Now all I need is to rope her in with more cash, just enough to buy that lame restaurant that Patrick just beat me to it. All I need is $250,000 more and I will buy Lynn's Table and bring it to life as "The Rock Groomer". A groovy place for all adults to enjoy the most beautiful and hottest chicks with rocks for the men to enjoy. Lizzie? Oh, I'll dump this chick, I mean, a hip teenage seventeen year old like her to go out with me? Ha! I already have my eyes on my future wife. She will be delighted to hear that I will make money all thanks to opening my own bar and it will help me impress her very much. No more of her calling me a lazy butt for me. We will be rich, rich I tell you.
They both gasp.
Luna Loud: He's going to destroy... *gulps*
Sam Sharp and Luna Loud: PATRICK'S PET ROCK?!
Slide transition cuts to the Oyster Stadium, where the pet show is being held. Various pet owners are shown next to Patrick, and Sandy is shown in the background riding her Alaskan Bull Worm.
Sandy Cheeks: Yeee-haw!
Mayor: Contestant 24?
Patrick Star: Huh? *looks around, then realizes* Oh! *pushes Rolly, then jumps on it belly-first and chuckles
As Rolly rolls to a stand. He then claps and barks like a dolphin and falls over eventually.
Patrick Star: His name is Rolly! Isn't he pretty?
Mayor: What does it do?
Patrick Star: I'll show you! *lifts Rolly*
He loses his strength and the rock bounces off of him off-screen, to which Patrick follows.
The scene cuts to Patrick lifting Rolly over a hurdle, then cuts to Patrick holding out a birthday care with a lit candle. He blows the fire next to a ring, which catches on fire, then throws Rolly at the ring, but the ring falls over and the fire tracks to a bush plant. The scene cuts to Patrick putting Rolly down a slide, but after rolling down the slide, the rock rolls over some participants and their pets.
Leni Loud: Whoo! Go, Patrick, go!
Sam Sharp: Go Patrick!
Luna Loud: I know you can do it!
Rolly runs him and Gary over, the former gets up.
Leni Loud: Go, Patrick, go!
The scene cuts to Rolly rolling over Incidental 69, two worms, and Incidental 82, then rolls in a circle and back to the stand.
Patrick Star: Ta-da!
Incidental 16: *somewhat nervous* Well, it seems like every other contestant has been... eliminated!
Third judge: I suppose you win...
Incidental 16: puts a first-place ribbon on Rolly.
Third judge: ...by default.
Patrick Star: We....
A close-up of the ribbon is shown, then the camera pans to him holding Rolly with a firework background.
Patrick Star: ....did it! Rolly, you're the best rock- *gets hit by a suitcase*
Percival Rockhound: *runs to the stand to hold Rolly* Ever!
As he cackles, he hops over Patrick and takes his suitcase.
Percival Rockhound: Finally! Your crystalline cache is all mine! *jumps and hits Rolly with his suitcase.
As Rolly cracks open, light is seen inside the cracks.
Patrick Star: Rolly! Oh no!
The camera pans out and as the rock cracks open, the light bursts out of it.
Percival Rockhound: Ooh! *dashes to the cracked open rock and takes a peek inside of it*
Suddenly, a giant dinosaur comes out of the rock, revealing that he was an egg the whole time.
Percival Rockhound: Oh, go-good show, old chap...
The dinosaur chomps Percival, swings his head around and opens his mouth.
Percival Rockhound: Oh, fiddlesticks! *gets eaten by Rolly*
Patrick Star: Rolly! I love your new look!
Rolly bends down, and he hugs Rolly's nose.
Leni Loud: Totes! So, Rolly was an egg all along!
Miguel from The Loud House: Now that's an egg I'm rooting for.
Fiona from The Loud House: For a lifetime at least.
Mandee from The Loud House: I say it's a good call, I call for a triple date.
Jackie from The Loud House: *squeals* I can't wait until a week passes.
Leni Loud: I'm so happy that these two are mended back together.
Gavin from The Loud House: Me too Leni.
Leni and Gavin kiss each other. Rolly eats and swallows Patrick.
Incidental 16: Wow! Now, that's what I call a pet! *throws a first-place ribbon up to Rolly's nose*
Rolly roars as the Pet Show banner falls until he belches, and the camera pans to Rolly's stomach.
Patrick Star: *from inside Rolly's stomach* Yay!
Screen cuts in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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