LU 70 - Mira 5

I just wanted coffee. Like any other regular time I go to Spawn, yet I never get it. I didn't get it this time, either. Nekane's shop was closed for renovations... And new "alcoholic drinks" would be available- Whatever those are. Never heard of them, myself. However, I decided to actually try not making this trip a wasted one, and decided to go to Illios's apartment complex- Though I noticed the doors were locked as soon as I went up the stairs, so I couldn't just barge in... Well I could, because of the balcony, but that would be rude- They could've been sleeping. Illios, Edelle, and Nat, of course- I still needed to ask Illios about something that I didn't get to ask her last time... But I'll do that the next time I see her. For sure. I didn't want to just stand around for long though, and went to the shopping district. But.. something seemed kind of off, looking over it. There was a new shop, but.. Chorus Flowers were now coming from a structure made of Purpur. I- I hadn't seen Purpur ever since I left.. Nol... And to make matters worse, the place was called 'Nol Supplies'! For some reason they made a fucking shop here! And that just made me worry- The people that had made the store could potentially find me here... I didn't want to be found. I don't want to risk being taken back- Ugh... I was starting to get a headache. It didn't help that I felt I was being watched, either. I glanced around briefly to see if somebody was just looking at me as I had started heading back to Spawn, then hearing something- A very familiar voice... My head turned to the roof of the nearest building - the armory - and I swear that I spotted.. Tori. So were his words true..? Nonetheless I took out my blade, yelling up at him to get down from the roof. I saw him after all. But, when I had teleported up onto the roof to face him, he... wasn't there. It almost made me feel like I looked crazy at that moment.
But now that made me ponder... Is Tori's corpse still where I left it? Should I even go bother to check? But then that would make me look suspicious if someone decided to follow me... Not like I wouldn't have already looked suspicious as it was. I was standing on a store's roof, with my weapon in hand, after all. Speaking of, I warped back to the ground, so I wasn't just in plain sight for anybody to see clearly, then decided to make my way towards Tori's cave... I felt it would be better to get some closure rather than just let it fester in my mind and panic more about it as time goes on. Soon the beacon lights were in sight, along with the cavern opening- How this guy's place wasn't found yet by anybody was a total mystery to me. This is the third time of me coming here, and I found it easily every time. How wasn't it closed off yet to anybody else? Well- That didn't matter. I just needed to check for the body, and then leave. It would be a simple in and out task. One I could get done within moments-
Yet as I neared the entrance, I felt a chill crawl down my spine. The last two visits of mine here weren't pleasant. But this time it was willingly that I decided to come here. So it would be fine, surely- Everything was going to be fine. I could leave any time. But still, something felt so... off. Nonetheless, I went inside. Things looked.. pretty much the same as the last time I had seen everything- Was the banner at the front always there though? I can't remember... Not that I had much time to look around the first two times I arrived here, anyways. So I wouldn't be able to tell if things were out of place or not. Whatever. I wouldn't be here for long to check anyways- I only came here for one thing. I kept telling myself that this whole time. I followed the same path as I had gone down 2 times before now... Down the hall, into the cell. The same path as last time. But at the end, I paused. Right before the last two doors. And the only thing that urged me forward, after a moment of re-contemplation, was the voice I heard. Tori's voice. Very.. disembodied, though. I heard his voice, urging me to go in... So I did.
Upon entering, however, I immediately regretted it. Two coyotes were in the same room, and what I assumed to have been.. Tori's blood, was splattered on the white concrete, small pieces of flesh were laying on the floor. I started to feel sick- No way this was real. This couldn't be real- Tori said people could come back! Why did it look like he was torn apart here?! To make matters worse, it sounded like someone was speaking to me again- Like Tori was speaking to me again!
"This was your fault, Mira." 
Those words sparked fear, regret, and something else inside of me- I did this, he wasn't wrong, but I hated this! It had to stop- So I yelled for it to stop. To shut up. However the voice went against my wishes.
"You killed me." 
I felt nauseous at this point. This wasn't right, I was just defending myself at the time, it was payback, I didn't intend to actually end his life for good-! What are Chizzy and Sytamni going to think?! I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to leave, it felt like I was suffocating. But the voice I heard apparently had one last thing to say...
"MURDERER."
I bolted for the entrance of the cave, practically hyperventilating as I left, making haste towards the shopping district again. I needed to get the fuck away from that place! I- W-What if somebody finds out that I did it, someone that isn't Chizzy?! She would probably be at the least understanding, but anybody else? I'd get killed! I couldn't risk that, not when I still had to look after Jeremy- Oh gods, Jeremy- I can't let him find out about any of that! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm so screwed-! As I made it to the shopping district once more, I halted in front of 'Nol Supplies' once more. It almost sickened me being even reminded of the place, piled on top of.. everything else. It made me feel pathetic, useless- Out of control. I hated all of these feelings. And I just kept questioning myself.. what would my friends think if they found out? Wait- What if they never found out? That- That's genius- I could just lie about it and things would be okay!! The only one that knows what happened is Chizzy, so I really only need to tell them, right? Yeah- This would work out- Nobody else had to know! Nobody. Speak of the devil!! Chizzy, who was followed by Nekane, had come into view. I however had frozen in the spot, unsure of what I should do at that moment. But hearing the druid call my name snapped me out of my stupor, and I immediately stepped away from the purpur building, ushering them away from it as well. They seemed confused, but seemed to comply. Chiz asked if I was alright, but I couldn't give a straight answer, to which she offered for the three of us to head to her place... It would be away from the shopping district, so I obliged. Nekane didn't have any complaints either. What was strange though..
Was that the feeling of being watched hadn't disappeared. Upon us arriving to Chizzy's house, they asked for Nekane to make a cup of coffee for me- Which I was grateful for. I hadn't had coffee for a while... It was due, I think. But then she queried me about whether I was alright or not, so I decided to tell her. I said we should talk about it outside, so Nekane wouldn't hear, and they obliged. However now I started to get nervous- I hadn't prepared how I was going to lie about this whole thing yet! Why did I decide it would be okay to lie about it?! Ugh- No matter... When we were outside of the shoe house, I started on about how she knew that I killed Tori that one time. She seemed confused for just a moment before I continued on, saying that I didn't see their body there... Which was a slip-up, but I corrected the fib, saying I then found him afterwards and made up with him! That was definitely believable, right? Definitely. It had to be! Despite the fact that I was pacing, and stuttering over my words, it was definitely a believable lie! What I hadn't expected though was for her to act so.. what's the word... assertive? About getting Nekane to fly around to see if we were being watched. I didn't understand, so I kept insisting that things were fine- Things were fine! Who would even be watching us right now..? Tori was.. dead, so... Unless she knew of something that I didn't..? No- That would be impossible. I've been talking with her for ages, I've hung out with her almost every time she went to Spawn, so she couldn't know anything that I didn't know. But if we were being watched, it would explain that lingering feeling... Much to my dismay, I heard Nekane's voice saying something to someone, confirming the druid's suspicions about us being watched- But, who would be watching us?! I backed away from Chizzy, trying to wrap my head around this whole situation. So many things have been going on today, so many emotions- Confusion, stress, anger, regret, all of that... Ugh- It was annoying that I didn't have a grasp on this already!
Nekane came back, tugging someone else in tow- Somebody that I had expected never to see again. Somebody that I had presumed to be dead, given the evidence around. It was Tori. I started panicking now- Chizzy would know that I had lied to them, Tori now knew where Chizzy lived, Sytamni could now also be in danger- Fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck. I messed up. Good job, Mira. Chizzy would lose trust in me now- But what confused me most was how he was alive! Either I didn't actually kill him, or his delusion of people being able to 'come back' was true- But that would just be impossible! I did see the scar though on Tori from the wounds I had inflicted on him (he seemed to have a habit of not changing his outfit when it came to being injured), but he could have just healed-! I don't know- I don't know! I couldn't even get a grasp on what was happening right now- My head was killing me. I just heard Chizzy speaking, Tori's voice in the middle of it, I don't know where Nekane was while this was all occurring- I leaned against the exterior of Chizzy's house, feeling my breathing picking up, hardly getting any time to relax. I was being overwhelmed. Someone I assumed to be dead from me killing them was here again, Chizzy was getting pissed at said person, and Nol was now-- My head clearly didn't care, evident because of this agonizing ache I had- Ugh! This was too much- Chizzy seemed to have noticed I was having trouble comprehending everything, and told me to just relax or something- I think that's what she said? So I just took the go-ahead to run off back to Spawn- I needed to talk to Illios now. Surely she would know something about this whole 'coming back' thing-! I don't quite remember what happened though after I ran off... I just remember that I nearly made it to Spawn, then.. I guess that I blacked out nearby.