Elmo and Tim v. Rocco and Zoe (Johnsonverse)

Elmo and Tim v. Rocco and Zoe is a skit that appeared on the January 16, 2022 episode of Fireside Chat with Tim Johnson. It involves host Tim Johnson siding with Elmo (Kevin Clash) on his debate with Zoe (Jennifer Barnhart) on whether or not Rocco is alive, culminating in Elmo taking the matter to court.
==Plot==
When Tim introduces Elmo and Zoe, he immediately stokes a heated argument between the two over whether or not Zoe's pet rock Rocco is alive.
==Cast==
=== Part One ===
* Tim Johnson as himself
*Kevin Clash as Elmo
* Jennifer Barnhart as Zoe
* Eric Jacobson as Oscar the Grouch
*Fran Brill as Zoe (archive footage)
*Ruth Buzzi as Ruthie (archive footage)
*Martin P. Robinson as Telly Monster (archive footage)
*Frank Oz as Grover (archive footage)
*Jerry Nelson as Mr. Johnson (archive footage)
*Caroll Spinney as Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch (archive footage)
=== Part Two ===
* Tim Johnson as Judge and Narrator
* Kevin Clash as Elmo
* Jennifer Barnhart as Zoe
* Chloe Johnson as Bailiff
==Transcript==
=== Part One ===
* Tim: Now, Sesame Street is a show that has aired for over 50 years. Recently, one iconic rivalry from that show has gotten attention and I thought it'd be a good idea to bring in two of Sesame Street's most beloved Muppets so I can offer them my two cents. Ladies, gentlemen, and dear friends, Elmo and Zoe!
*(Elmo and Zoe walk onto the set as the house band plays a variation of the Sesame Street theme song, specifically the "Can you tell me how to get- how to get to Sesame Street?" part)
* Elmo: Hi everybody!
* Zoe: Hello there! Rocco says hello!
* Tim: So, Elmo and Zoe, welcome to our show. Glad you could make it.
* Elmo: Thank you, Tim.
* Zoe: Rocco says thanks.
* Elmo: Rocco? But Rocco's just a rock.
* Zoe: No, no, no, a special rock. See, he is very delighted to be here on this stage.
* Elmo: Oh, boy...
* Tim: So, Elmo, can you tell the audience why you think Rocco's just a rock?
* Elmo: Sure! Elmo would be happy to. When Zoe first brought her rock, Elmo thought it'd be fun. But it got old fast, and every time Elmo wants to play with Zoe, Zoe has to tell Elmo that she wants to do what Rocco does. Letting Rocco have Elmo's favorite cookie, showing Elmo how Rocco dances, Rocco this, Rocco that! Rocco's not even alive! He doesn't have a mouth, and he can't dance.
* Tim: Uh huh. Now, Zoe, your response?
* Zoe: Well, Rocco is talented at a lot of things. Dancing, singing, drawing. Rocco's my best friend in the whole wide world--
* Tim: Best friend?
* Zoe: Yup. (Elmo buries his face with his hands)
* Tim: I thought Elmo was your best friend.
* Zoe: He is one of my best friends, but Rocco is special.
* Tim: I see. Well, Zoe, Elmo does have a point.
* Elmo: Thank you! Thank you! Elmo's waited a long time for somebody to say Elmo has a point!
*Tim: May I take a look at Rocco?
*Zoe: Of course, Tim.
*(Tim grabs Rocco and hands it to Elmo)
*Tim: Here, Elmo.
*(Elmo tosses Rocco to a nearby trash can Oscar pops out of)
*Oscar: Ah, a rock! Muck it up and this'll be perfect for my gross rock collection, heh heh heh.
*Tim: There you go, Zoe.
*Zoe: Rocco! Wh-why?
*Tim: Remember that little tug-of-war you had with Elmo over his blanket? Roll the clip.
*(A clip from The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland in which Elmo and Zoe pull a side of Elmo's blanket plays)
*Elmo: But Zoe... Elmo wants his Blanket back now.
*Zoe: In a minute, Elmo.
*Elmo: No, not in a minute, Zoe. Now, now! Elmo wants his Blanket back now!
*Zoe: Wait!
*Elmo: Elmo wants it back now! It's mine, mine, mine!
*(Elmo's blanket is torn)
*Elmo: Zoe! Look what you did!
*Zoe: I didn't mean it. It was an accident.
*Elmo: Zoe's not Elmo's friend anymore!
*Zoe: What? I'm not your friend?
*Telly: I can't stop!
*Elmo: Stop, Telly! That's Elmo's Blanket!
*Zoe: Elmo.
*Ruthie: Oh, this is so delicate.
*Telly: Coming through!
*Elmo: Blanket! Sorry Ruthie.
*Elmo: Elmo wants his Blanket back!
*Telly: I can't stop!
*Elmo: Hi, Telly.
*Telly: Hello.
*Grover: Yes, sir.
*Mr. Johnson: Oh-no. Well, listen, I like you.
*Elmo: Blanket! Blanket!
*Grover: This looks like a job for Super Grover!
*Mr. Johnson: But what about breakfast?
*Grover: No thank you sir, I cannot fly on a full stomach. And away!
*Big Bird: Oh!
*(Oscar sneezes into the blanket and throws it into his trash can; the clip ends and the show cuts back to Oscar popping out of the trash can)
*Oscar: On second thought, this rock is far too clean for my liking. You can have it back, Zoe.
*(Oscar throws Rocco back, which Zoe catches in mid-air)
*Zoe: Gotcha! See, Tim, it's not nice to take things from someone.
*Elmo: Elmo'll sue you in court for this, Zoe. Just you wait.
=== Part Two ===
*(Cut to a courtroom, with the song "The Big One" by Alan Tew playing; Elmo is coming into the courtroom)
* Narrator: This is the plaintiff, Elmo. He says that the defendant has been bothering him too much with her rock lately, and their appearance on Fireside Chat was the final straw, so he's suing for a box of crayons.
*(Text is typed in saying "PLAINTIFF: ELMO" "SUING FOR: A BOX OF CRAYONS")
*(Cut to Zoe walking into the courtroom with "The Big One" playing again)
* Narrator: This is the defendant, Zoe. She claims that she's told Elmo time and time again that her beloved rock is alive and he wouldn't listen. She's accused of bothering the plaintiff too much.
*(Text is typed in saying "DEFENDANT: ZOE" "ACCUSED OF: BOTHERING ELMO TOO MUCH WITH ROCK". Additional text is typed in yellow saying "COUNTERSUIT FILED".)
* Narrator: The defendant has filed a countersuit for the coloring book containing Elmo's World for refusing to accept the rock being alive.
* (Cut to the bailiff next to the bench)
* Bailiff: Order, all rise! Your honor, this is case no. 3502 in the matter of Elmo v. Zoe.
* Judge: Thank you. I know you've been sworn in and I've read your complaint. So, Elmo, Zoe tells me you deny that Rocko is alive.
* Elmo: Yeah, your honor.
* Judge: All right, now we
Category:Johnsonverse