The Great Battles of Sainte Agnes and Japan

=== History ===
After the Bacon failure at the Battle of the Field, the bacon leader agreed for the next raid to be at Sainte Agnes. 
The Funny Powers secretly planned for the Allied defense at the game, and recruited and formed strategies for the upcoming battle.
=== The Battle Itself: ===
==== Phase 1 ====
A force of four clowns and two tikis patrolled Sainte Agnes to prepare for the battle. In a surprise move, the bacons showed up ten minutes earlier than planned, and soldiers from every major member of the coalition except the Bigheads were quickly called into battle. Each major leader of the coalition riled the men up and sent them out into battle. A few bacons had already sneaked into the city in an attempt to spawnkill but were quickly dealt with. The trenches were filled, and tanks stormed into battle. The bacons were cornered at their spawn, and couldn't find the regen buttons cause of their low IQ and therefore were stuck in place.
==== Phase 2 ====
After a while, the bacons gained some ground, and the clowns were ordered back to the trenches. They began complaining about spawnkilling even though they attempted it themselves and were acting super baby-ish cause they were taking a fat L. The battle was intense, with artillery raining overhead from both sides and tanks being blown up left and right. Bacons made it into the first line of trenches but were quickly repelled. Their commander, furious with the state of the battle, began yelling at Yung Clown as if he could do something about the gigantic W they were taking. After winning, he agreed to do a second round.
A tiki leads the way into the enemy lines
==== Phase 3 ====
Bacons had the upper hand for the first five minutes of the second round, leading in kills and being able to take over the city for a solid few minutes. But the members of the Funny Powers began wiping out the bacons in the town, quickly taking the lead. There was a few battles in the trenches but the bacons were ultimately pushed back to their spawn. They got rekt so hard and tried so hard to find imbalances (hint: there were absolutely none whatsoever) that they demanded to move to Futuretops (the most boring fucking game to fight on ever [where tryhards can also aimbot with recoil guns from like 2011]), but Yung Clown and Goliath simultaneously slapped the shit out of Wef and Yung Clown told Wef they'd move to the Japan map, which was less laggy than Sainte Agnes.
==== Phase 4 ====
Less bacons came to the Japan map (cause they were rekt so hard) and coalition forces immediately ran out into the battlefield to claim their bacon scalps. Cornered at spawn yet again and complaining instead of fighting the people spawnkilling them, bacons ragequit so hard and tried to find imbalances YET AGAIN (hint: there were none). 
=== Aftermath ===
It is said the mere unfunnyness of the Bacons and their lack of literacy in the english language caused their loss. Wef and his men who could barely speak English yelled at Chill and said there were bolt rifles, which by the way dont even exist in the game, not in serverstorage or in lighting, literally nowhere, they dont exist, dude i never even uploaded nocol rifle animations, LEGIT they just made shit up to try and claim an autowin, ANYWAY the only one cheating was axer (as always) cause he was being extremely autistic and using some weird sniper rifle thing hidden in the darkest depths of the game that I didn't even know was real. He only used it at the end anyway and killed maybe one bacon with the sniper rifle.
Clown Clan and their allies celebrated their victory with awesome victory pics (shown above) and they celebrated their victory with a shitty VC recruiting session that attracted some weird pedo ass foreigner people from GRP that tried to get info out of Chill and Hiyori for reasons unknown
Intense fighting in the trenches. G Gang and clowns are seen fighting side-by-side.
Category:Honk War I Battles