Nightstar's Adventure

This story is about the life of Nightstar, a she-cat with a black pelt and yellow eyes. She may sound boring but has had many adventures, from a kit, to an apprentice, to a warrior, to deputy, to leader, to StarClan.
===Chapter 1: Nightkit===
Nightkit finally opened her eyes. "Nightkit! You're awake!" Her mother, Onyxpelt, said. "About time you woke up. You're old enough to have your own legal rights! So stop eating up my valuable stock investments and buy your own home, useless runt!" She CRIED excitedly, and went over to see her 4 brothers and sisters- Starkit, Shadekit, Moonkit, and Tatteredkit. She happily got ready for whatever the butter [sic she was going to do.
The stars shone in the night sky. It was a green-leaf night, very warm. "Mommy, when will I be an apprentice?" she asked Onyxpelt.
""As soon as you go to college, which I'm not paying,"" Onyxpelt replied to her, ""why the actual fuck am I using four quotation marks instead of two?""
Nightkit cried because of her current socioeconomic status. She asked her local government to help, but they were too busy shooting immigrants and collaborating with Russian oligarchs. Nightkit decided that she would vote for a Democrat next year instead. Maybe Oprah. You get a car. You get a car. You get a car. Wait, is she Democrat? All black people are Democrats, right? No, no I'm not stereotyping people. I'm not a bigot, right? I stopped worshipping Hitler a while back.
===Chapter 2: Apprentice Training===
Nightkit applied for a student loan. She got hit by a bus, sued the evil bus company, and won so much money she was able to pay off her student debt AND retire early. Preeowww.