The Mad Medic

6/26/11
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Jade Dually First Aid Hot Rod Jackknife Crackshot
Jade walks in, twirling a staff as she does. She gives the room a quick once over. Nope, nothing going on in here either
Dually is sitting on one of the berths, waiting for the medics to return and idly picking charred paint off the edges of his pectoral armor which is blackened and slightly melted. He winces every time he scrapes away a little bit of the charred paint from the edges, but there's a neat little pile of paint pieces on the berth next to him.
Jade hmmms, as she spies the odd mech and makes her way over towards them. "And what do we have here..." as she pokes at him with her staff. "looks to be falling apart."
Dually shoots a cocky grin at Jade. "I tried playing catch with a Seeker. Turns out, Seekers don't really like being caught."
Jade whaps again with her staff, "Ah, so you got what you deserved then." She nods her head, "Seems fair enough....so why are you here then?"
"Well," Dually scratches his head. This is a weird medic. Usually they're all about 'stupid aft, let me fix that' and less 'out of my med bay' directly, at least. "I'd like it to not buckle next time I run into 'Cons on patrol?" He says hopefully. "And in my defense, I *was* trying to take her into custody. She was just more flexible than I expected."
Jade hmms, "ok, if you don't want buckles..which is a bit odd and old fashioned...I suppose we can fix you up with something else. Though if you’re going to wear buckles, you might want to avoid cons...they'll assume your some kind of nerd." As she looks you over again, "You really should think about getting that paint fixed"
First Aid walks in, carefully holding one hand against the opposite arm, which is dripping energon sluggishly.
Dually says, "What happened to you?" to First Aid, sounding mildly contemptuous. He's not spent much time around the apprentice medic, but the kid hasn't impressed him much- quiet, always scurrying around to do whatever the CMO asks, and kind of twitchy.
Jade says, "He's dripping all over the floor is what he's doing. Making a mess of the place. What’s with people now? At least of the decency to stop leaking before coming in here.." She spins the staff a couple more times. "Well, only one solution...amputate the arm. I got a couple of ideas what we can replace it with.""
First Aid looks incredibly alarmed. "If you'll just patch the line, I can clean up the mess... I'm supposed to be on shift, anyway." He leans against a berth- the wound isn't serious, but it's been steadily bleeding energon for most of the last hour, and Aid wasn't exactly topped up to begin with. "Maybe I should wait for Ratchet? He said to go on back here."
Dually snickers. "What'd you do, kid? Shoot yourself on the range or something?"
Jade spins the staff again, as it compacts down. She reattaches it to her waist. "no, no...no time like the present. Sit down, and I'll start removing it right now" As her cutting torch flares to life, "I'm thinking we'll replace it with a search light, or maybe a net thrower. Or better yet, some kind of broom and dust pan."
First Aid eyes the torch with narrowed optics. "I /said/ I would be happy to clean it up, and I would be happy to do so as soon as this is taken care of. And none of those would be at ALL useful to me, nor is it at all in good taste to make jokes at the expense of your patients."
Dually is watching more or silently, with the occasional snicker. "You know, I'll just come back later, when Ratchet or someone is here. I don't have patrol till tomorrow, anyway."
Jade hmmms as she walks over to a cabinet, and takes out a searchlight like arm, "Whose joking?..I have the parts right here. I like to build things ahead of time, so their ready to go when needed."
First Aid continues to watch Jade, at this point leaning towards confusion... "No, really. My arm is fine the way it is. Except for the leak, which I can't fix myself, on account of needing two hands to do so. I'll even do the armor myself, if you would just please /help/?"
Dually has had enough, and makes good his escape, leaving behind the little pile of charred paint on the berth. "Best of luck, kid." He saunters out.
Jade says, "Of course I'll help you...your new arm is brand new, so they'll be no leaks at all. See, no need to waste time repairing the old one."
First Aid vents air through his intakes, irritated. "Do I need to file a report to Ratchet about inappropriate staff behavior in the repair bay? Would you please just fix my arm, properly, so I can get back to my shift?" He sounds /offended/ as much as anything else.
Jade says, "I'm sorry, I don't know who this Ratchet person is...so I really don't care what you say to him. I'm just trying to get people back out there, it's not my fault you can't see the brilliance in the idea. It's very insulting, you know. Here I am, trying to make life better and all I get are negative vibes.""
".... are you even a /medic/? What are you doing in here?" First Aid looks downright worried, and pushes himself away from the berth.
Jade says, "I'm one of the best medics around, but with a narrow minded attitude like yours, I doubt you could tell." she shakes her head, "Just wonder about some people..." as she moves to put the arm away, "Almost as bad as Prime, when I tried to get him to put a real face on his head.""
First Aid says, "You know, I'll just wait for Ratchet to come back."
<Autobot> First Aid says, "I believe there's ... okay, I don't know who she is, but she's NOT acting like a medic. In the repair bay. Is anyone from security available?"
Jade shrugs, "Your choice...wimp"
Hot Rod walks on down the hallway and peeks into the room still in his black guise the young cavalier quirks an optic ridge, "What’s with all the ruckus in here?" he scans the room with his red optics and looks between Jade and First Aid.
"Hi Hot Rod- um- do you know who she is?" First Aid points at Jade, a little bit awkwardly, since he's standing with one hand covering a wound on the opposite arm, and gesturing with the hand on the injured arm, held down beside his leg.
Jade says, "Better question, do you know who he is?..he comes in here making a mess, and claiming the weirdest things. A faulty logic circuit I think."
"She is /not/ acting like a medic." First Aid says, irritation clear in his voice.
Jade says, "You’re damaged, I was going to make things better....hmm, no, no..doesn't sound like a medic to me"
First Aid looks pleadingly at Hot Rod. Please make this make sense?
Hot Rod looks over at Jade and ponders the question, "Uhh.. yeah, I think she used to be a neutral medic that we used to call upon for her services." he says as he steps into the room, attention going to First Aid, "Primus, what happened to you?" he gestures to the injury, "Want me to fix that for you? Why not let her repair you? "he pauses then adds, "I'm pretty sure she's more qualified as a medic than me."
First Aid says "Hammershot shot me- by accident, he was shooting at the Decepticon prisoner, and she had a hold of my hands. I think maybe you're mixing her up with Lifeline. And Lifeline doesn't act like she's going to replace perfectly functional limbs with weird things like searchlights and net throwers without patient consent!"
Jade says, "Oh I offered to fix his arm, he didn't want to have it...said he'd rather wait, and just leak all over the place. Almost as bad as the other one that was in here...just sitting here, peeling the paint off his body. Said something about wanting buckles.""
First Aid shakes his head. "Dually had heat-damaged armor- at least, that's what it looked like- and buckling is a very real concern when you apply additional damage to heat-fractures!"
Jade says, "well then perhaps he should have asked for repairs, instead of just sitting there."
First Aid glares as Jade zips out of the repair bay. "I don't know /what/ her glitch is." He sighs. "Look, if you can just help me put a clamp on this line, it can wait until Ratchet gets back. Can you do that?"
Hot Rod blinks as Jade runs off. He turns his attention back to First Aid and starts to exam the injury. He slides his hand back and sets his repair tool out, "It looks to be beyond my training, but maybe you can talk me through it."
First Aid winces. "Yeah- I can do that. It's not that complicated, I just need two hands to do it." He takes a step back to sit on the edge of the berth. "Need to sit, sorry." He cycles air through his vents noisily. "Pop the plate off- you should be able to trip the catches under the upper edge with a screwdriver. There's one in the berth side stand if you don't have one that will fit."
Hot Rod actually has a magnetic driver that fits all bolts in his tool hand. He does as instructed and sets aside the damaged armor paneling. He peers into the damage, "Hmkm.. do you think you'll need new parts installed? If so you can just tell me what you need and I can get it.” he pauses to add, "I'm much better at installing and replacing than I am fixing damaged units."
First Aid shakes his head. "Ratchet'll be mad if I don't get a medic to do this, and I don't want to get you in trouble. Just get one of the clamps from the drawer there in the stand, and see if you can find the line that's leaking. Clamp it off above the break, and that'll solve the most immediate problem.
Hot Rod shrugs and runs over to the repair station and rummages through the medical devices then he holds up two clamps, "Which one?"
First Aid glances at them. "The 2 metameter- the one in your right hand. It's just a brachial line." He pulls his arm across his body, tilting his head forward to try and get a good look at the damaged line. "I can't see it, but it should be right in there somewhere-" he points in the general vicinity of where the hole burned through his armor was.
Hot Rod looks at the chosen clamp and shrugs tossing the unneeded one aside. The young cavalier runs back to his patient. he twists the clamp open as far as it can go. Then he starts to fiddle with it on First Aid's arm, " Right here looks good, but it'd look cooler if we put it like this!" he flips the clamp into a completely impractical position. With a smirk he adjusts the clamp onto the arm, "How does that feel?" he asks as he starts to tighten the device onto the injured arm.
First Aid says, "I turned off the sensory receptors local to the injury- is it still leaking?" He twists his arm, trying to get a better look.
Hot Rod gives the clamp a few more twists to tighten its hold further, then he starts to wipe away the already leaked energon to see if there is a continual flow, "Nope, it looks to have done the trick." he wipes the arm clean and tosses the rag away, "You should probably to refill no energon just in case. When's Ratchet or Wheeljack supposed to be back?" then he looks over to the door, "You know, I don't blame you.. Jade sort of creeps me out. I wouldn't let her repair me either." he smirks.
First Aid nods "I think Ratchet was coming back soon. And yes, she's /creepy/. Why was she in here, anyway?"
Hot Rod can only give a shrug of his shoulders, "I dunno.. I'm pretty she she's been authorized by Optimus to be a medic for the bots. I suppose recruiting her is cheaper than paying her fee every time she's needed."
Hot Rod smiles and nods, "Its the least I could do after all the times you've fixed me up." he gives First Aid a light pat on the back, "I'll let Ratchet know he has a patient if I see him. Well, smell you later First Aid." the young cavalier says as he starts to head out the door.
"Thanks," First Aid slides off the berth and goes to get a mop to clean up the dripped energon on the floor...
First Aid is carefully mopping drips of energon up off the floor, a piece of armor missing from his right upper arm. The missing piece of armor is sitting on a berth, a hole burned through it visible along one edge.
Crackshot is laying face down on a berth still, his arms under his chin. He was shut off for the most part, his back now missing damaged parts, but also missing new parts as the new spinal column required was waiting to be put in as well. He sighed as he woke up, optics flickering on.
Ratchet comes on shift in the med bay to find patients waiting for him. He watches First Aid mopping up energon while his plating is removed and hums to himself, and he sighs when he sees Crackshot's situation. "You I already know about," he says to First Aid significantly. "What's your problem, Crackshot?"
Crackshot brightens his optics further, turning his head faintly "Spinal blowout. Armor piercing explosive round to the central upper-back plate. " he explains, surprisingly calm. or maybe drugged.
First Aid finishes mopping and puts the mop away. "Hi Ratchet."
Ratchet cocks his head. "Your arm, First Aid," he says.
First Aid walks back over to the other side of the bay and sits on a berth. "It's /really/ not that bad, Ratchet. I got Hot Rod to help me clamp the line, because I couldn't do it one handed." He twists his arm, holding it out so Ratchet can see the clamped-off line.
Crackshot blinks his optics "... Why are you mopping?" he asks suddenly.
"And why did you need Hot Rod to help you seal your arm?" Ratchet asks. He frowns at Crackshot's question and begins to assess the injury after taking a long glance at First Aid's apparently sealed bleed.
First Aid vents air irritatedly. "Because the medic on last shift- Jade?- is a couple of circuit boards short of a server. She was talking about /taking my arm off/." He says, more than a little indignant. "And installing a net thrower or a search light. I thought she was joking, but she wouldn't quit."
Crackshot frowns "heard stories about her. Scared off a few neutrals. "
Jackknife walks into the repair bay to see how things are going in here. "Good cycle all." she says with a smile.
First Aid says, "I can believe that." He glances at Jackknife as she enter. "Hi Jackknife."
"That wasn't an injury that called for replacement of a limb. Few injuries actually do," Ratchet mutters. "Sounds as though she needs to be called in for a review of procedure," he says as he reviews a few notes on Crackshot's chart and makes a few of his own.
Jackknife smiles to First Aid, "Heard you had a bit of an issue earlier today." she notes softly, "Ironhide has such lovely colorful language when he's miffed.. stomped right past my lab cussing like it was going out of style." she looks to Ratchet and nods, "Hello Ratchet. Need any help here today? I'm currently not occupied with any lab work. Figured I'd see if med bay needed a femme's touch." a pause to look at Crackshot, "Oh dear, do I want to know how that happened?"
Crackshot states "Armor piercing rocket that blew up in my back." a pause. He blinked "Maybe we should just get a sign? it would probably save energon..."
First Aid nods. "I know, but she wouldn't stop going on about it long enough to clamp the line off, which is the only internal damage as far as I can tell. Something was /wrong/ with her, Ratchet." He offers Jackknife a crooked smile. "Hammerstrike didn't /mean/ to shoot me, I was just in the way."
Jackknife hms softly and nods to Crackshot, "Not a pretty sight." is all she can say to the mech, patting him on the shoulder. "I am sure he didn't First Aid dear. Accidents /do/ happen."
Crackshot says, "I wouldn’t know Jackknife. I didn’t really SEE it."
Jackknife smiles a bit, "Was that a request to see it Crackshot? I could arrange for a mirrored surface."
Crackshot smirks "Wouldn’t work. Mirror would be facing the wrong way." he notes.
Ratchet eyes First Aid while he starts removing plates from Crackshot's back. "It's not much good to waste treatment time running your vocalizer," he says. "A bleed's a bleed. It needed to be sealed, and the arm repaired, rather than replaced or retrofitted. It will be brought up with med bay staff," he says. He starts inspecting connections to the ruined spine, then turns to Jackknife with a polite nod. "First Aid's got a section of armor that needs a repair, and Crackshot's getting a new spinal column. Take your pick."
Jackknife hms and smiles to Ratchet, "I'll get the armor for him then and see what I can do, I do know how to weld." she notes and heads off to get an armor piece.
First Aid pipes up, sounding slightly frustrated. "I can fix my own armor if someone will just splice a real patch into the energon line. It needs two hands." And then he could get back to work.
Jackknife returns with the armor and smiles to First Aid. "No you will not be fixing yourself. Never a good practice." she point, "As to the two hands, you'll have them available to help Ratchet if you sit still and let me work."
Crackshot watches all of this from where he lay, his head propped up by armor now as he observed. "She's right First Aid. Isn’t it said 'Doctor, repair thyself?" in an ironic way? " a drugged pause "or something something..."
"And you should be in recharge," Ratchet says, thumping the back of Crackshot's helm.
Crackshot blinks "... I got bored." he returns simply "And at least I'm not trying to drag myself back out to the battlefield. That puts me above most of your patients I think." he points out.
Jackknife gets the welder going and slips a welders mask on then places the armor over the damaged area on First Aid, "This will sting a bit." she warns him. Crackshot's comment earns a giggle from the femme. Then there's a shower of sparks and the hiss of metal being welded to metal.
First Aid shrugs one-sidedly. "I was just going to repair the old piece." He says to Jackknife. "It's just frustrating to be sitting here when there's work I should be doing. It's a little thing to fix, after all."
"Watch that line," Ratchet warns Jackknife. "And you," he says as he turns to Crackshot, "Shut the slag up and go back to recharge. At the moment, you're only above your own hands." He starts spraying anticorrosive into the spaces surrounding the damage spinal column.
Despite the order, Crackshot cannot help but guffaw loudly at the hands comment, although his own paralysis made it so he held still while being sprayed down. "okay okay... I'll try." he promises after recovering, putting his head back down and dimming his optics. They weren't all the way off, but he 'tried'
Jackknife murmurs, "I'm watching what I'm doing, worry not Ratchet. I /am/ a professional." she points out. Evidently not easily cowed by the grumpy medic.
First Aid doesn't quite pull his arm out of Jackknife's grasp, but it's close. "Wait a klik- there's still a line that hasn't been spliced," He says. "If you weld that back on right now, it'll have to come off again."
Jackknife looks up a moment, "I'm not completing the weld just yet, just getting it tacked into place before the splicing can be done. Goodness you both act like I've not dealt with explosives before."
Crackshot snickers faintly, betraying his not-turned-off status.
Jackknife sets the welder down and puts her mask back up so she can examine the line issue. She reaches over to grab the tools she'd need and basically treats it like she would an energy weapon, very carefully!
First Aid tilts his arm again. "There's a clamp on the upper end of the line- see it?" He tries to get a better look at the outer edge of his arm with very little luck.
Jackknife nods to First Aid, "I see it." she checks it to be sure it's holding the line well before starting to measure out how much needs splicing, then cutting out the bad line below the clamp. Then she splices in the new line, being sure to use the special tape that the self-repair systems will recognize and use to heal the splice into place.
First Aid looks relieved and peers interestedly at Jackknife's work. "Sorry."
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