Beenchurger

Beenchurgers are burgers that use beans instead of meat. These were first sold at Out-N-In in Hamburg, Germany, where burgers got their name from. Beenchurgers were invented because der Deutsch were becoming too fat, so Frank Steindong ordered Hans Hanserburger to create a healthy replacement to meat so Germans stop being fat. Hanserburger created black beans to replace meat.
== Creation of the Beenchurger ==
In 1967, the effects of the heckening were causing Germans to become insatiable so Frank Steindong, Germany's Führer, ordered the inventor of burger, Hans Hanserburger, to create a replacement of the beef on the burgers with a healthier substitute and ultimately make Germans normal sized (and military ready) again. 
==== Creation of Black Beans ====
Hans Hanserburger thought that lima beans were really tasty but lacked the necessary protein and calcium to make the Germans Übermensch again. He experimented with lima beans by combining them with other species of beans but this just made weaker lima beans as every other bean species Hans had access to were incredibly lacking in everything. At the start of 1968, Hans was getting more pressure from Führer Steindong to create the meat substitute and Hans was close to giving up on the project until an accident happened: 
On April 19, 1968, Hans' assistant, Kool Belieger, bumped into Hans' containers of various chemicals including beer from the last Oktoberfest, sulfur hexafluoride, a gallon of bone juice, and liquid beef, and all of them spilled onto the lima bean Hans was working on. This created the first black bean, called the Überbean back then, to be used for bean burgers.
==== Success of the Black Bean ====
Black beans turned out to be super successful in making Germans lose fat as black beans contained 0 grams of fat of any kind. Hans' and Kool's reward for creating the black bean and the beenchurger was 100,000 Deutschmarks. Hans wasn't devastated by this low amount though since he was the only one who could create beenchurgers. This led him to become one of the most powerful people in Germany.
== Fantaburger ==
Maximilian Lemp, creator of Fanta, used to hate beenchurgers and Hans Hanserburger until he actually tried one in 2045 for the first time. He enjoyed it very much but couldn't find a Fanta dispenser anywhere in the Out-N-In, so he got sad. But then, Hans Hanserburger floated down and met with his former rival and the conversation they had made soda flavored beenchurgers possible. 
To do that, Hanserburger infused black beans with orange and cola Fanta extract but that wasn't enough, he had to teach MaxI how to TRULY make legendary tasting burgs. He taught Max how to rap and dance while cooking to make the stuff he sold at his Fanta dispensers taste even better. 
== Trivia & Aftermath ==
* This is the only thing that could actually stop a heckening event
* The Germans stopped being fat, the ones who actually ate these though
* Black beans made by Hans Hanserburger will increase your lifespan if you eat them everyday
* The Fanta partnership made a new product possible
Category:Food
Category:Nazi
Category:German
Category:Gives Power
Category:German Origin