Keep Facts

Facts About the Keep / Keep Residents 
*The reason the dead come back to life is because they just couldn't quit Hawke's Beard.
*Even in a place without technology Garrus can still calibrate his weapons.
*Bobby Drake knows everyone's room numbers.
*Xanth's stutter is the only thing containing his rampaging masculinity.
*If Xanth didn't stutter he would be Old Spice Man
*Varric is the Keep's Shadow Broker
*Varric was the original Shadow Broker
*The lake monster was just jealous of Jack's boat
*Bobby's milkshake bring all the boys to the yard
*The pumpkins are whispering because they're too afraid of Justice to speak louder
*Varric really can make you an offer you can't refuse
*Lord Deior is actually Candle Jac-
*Alistair is actually the bastard son of Deior, not Marric.
*Megamind actually built Tony Stark out of a box of scraps
*Toph rearranges the walls in the tunnels under the Keep
*Isabella tastes just like chicken.
Category:Crack