Tweety's High-Flying Adventure/Transcript

[The movie opens in London on October 2nd. Granny and her pets, Sylvester and Tweety arrive at the Looney Club near the park.]
Granny: The park sure looks lovely today. Ah, there's nothing like a nice, relaxing game of whist at the Looney Club.
[Two kids greet Granny while selling flowers.]
Both: Hi, Granny.
Granny: Hello, kids. How are things at my favorite children's park?
Little Girl: Best read it yourself.
[Granny notices a sign on the park entrance and reads it.]
Granny: (reads the sign) "This park to be closed in 80 days.” Unpaid debt? E-Excuse me, kids. I need time to think about this.
[Sylvester opens the birdcage and grabs Tweety to eat him. However, the bird appears on top of the cage.]
Sylvester: (Gasps) Huh?
[He realizes that he’s eaten a fake Tweety dummy, and it explodes in his stomach, blowing him like a balloon. Smoke pours out of him and the cat faints. Tweety smiles mischievously, but Sylvester chases after him, tripping Granny over. He tries to leap at the bird, only to bump into the pillars, making his head bonked into his body.]
Sylvester: I detest the sight of ribs from the inside.
[He pops his head back out and leaps at Tweety. However, he accidentally pounces into the Looney Club building, knocking over a suit of armor and books. As Granny is about to scold Sylvester, a voice rings out.]
Colonel Rimfire: (offscreen) Pure balderdash, I say!
[Granny and her pets notice a man talking to some club members at a table.]
Colonel Rimfire: I've suffered the last defeat at the hands of my cursed nemesis, Cool Cat. Why, his preposterous antics have been my absolute undoing.
[He unrolls his wallet to show pictures of his defeat at the hands of Cool Cat. Sylvester resumes his chase after Tweety.]
Colonel Rimfire: Still, it's best to be bested by an intelligence better than mine. There! I said it.
Granny: What is it that you said, Colonel Rimfire?
Colonel Rimfire: Well, that, simply put, there is no greater intelligence on earth than the feline intelligence.
Sylvester: Well, he certainly got that right.
[He chases Tweety around a statue of Atlas, complete with a big globe.]
Sylvester: Get back here! (leaps onto the globe and it falls over) Eek.
[The globe falls off the statue’s hands and rolls away with the cat on it.]
Tweety: (tuts) Some globe-trotter he is.
Granny: Colonel, do you mean to say that no creature on earth is capable of outsmarting a cat?
Colonel Rimfire: Madam, I'll stake my entire fortune on it. What about it? Do you gents concur?
[The other club members discuss this.]
Granny: Hmm… You're on. (slaps Rimfire’s back and everybody gasps) I know a certain little canary who is more than a match for any cat.
[Tweety tweets in response.]
Colonel Rimfire: Poppycock!
Granny: No, Tweety.
Colonel Rimfire: What crapulous rubbish! Why, I've never heard anything like that in my life.
[Granny goes to a map and uses a cat statue to stamp pawprints on the countries.]
Granny: I propose that my Tweety can travel around the world in 80 days, collecting the pawprints of 80 cats.
Colonel Rimfire: Ha!
Tweety: Ohh, for Granny, I'll do it. I was getting tired of outwitting the same old puddy tat anyhow.
Granny: Since today is October 2nd, Tweety will encircle the globe and return with a canceled passport and his 80 cat pawprints to this very spot on December 21st in exactly 80 days.
Colonel Rimfire: Madam, you've made yourself a wager.
[The club members cheer for Granny.]
Club Member 1: Oh, bully for you, Granny. 
Club Member 2: You stood up to him, you did. 
Club Member 3: Well done, Granny.
[Sylvester is still on the globe, perched against the fireplace.]
Sylvester: Ever get the feelin' you just missed something?
[Later, we see a crowd has gathered to see Tweety set on his big adventure.]
Granny: Now Tweety, with the Looney Club's high connections, I've obtained your own special royal passport.
[Among the crowd, the Shropshire Slasher hears this.]
Shropshire Slasher: Royal passport?
[Cut back on Granny and Tweety.]
Granny: You get customs in each country you visit to stamp the up-front pages, and these extra pages in the back are for all the pawprints you'll collect along your route. (hands Tweety the royal passport) Now, I don't want to overburden you, but I did bet the farm that you could safely pass every port of entry.
Tweety: Sheesh, already with the guilt. I'll pass every point--paw, too. I'm off!
[The crowd cheers as he flies off.]
Club Member 2: (sings) Can it be done?
Colonel Rimfire: (sings) Certainly not. Circle the globe in time and then return to this spot? There isn't a hope, a ghost of a chance. I bet from London, Tweety won't even get to France.
Club Member 3: (sings) It's all in vain.
Club Member 1: (sings) Well, it can't be done.
Colonel Rimfire: (sings) And when this thing is over, I'll have won.
Granny: (sings) He can make it all the way.
Colonel Rimfire: (sings) It's impossible, I say.
Tweety: (sings) Is it yes, or no?
People: (singing) Can little Tweety go around the world in 80 days?  England, France, Tibet, Peru. 
Colonel Rimfire: (sings) It's impossible to do.
People: (singing) To make it 'round the world in 80 days. 
Colonel Rimfire: (sings) To Argentina, Rome, Seville, Tibet, Berlin, Japan, Brazil.
Club Member 2: (sings) You can't traverse the world in 80 days. 
Club Member 3: (sings) It's all in vain, why, it's insane to even try.
Rimfire and Club Members: (singing) To go from Budapest, Malaysia, through Nepal and half of Asia, out to Spain, the mid-Ukraine, and French versailles. 
Granny: (sings) Are you ready?
Tweety: (sings) On my mark.
Club Member 3: (sings) Are you steady? Then embark.
Granny: (sings) That's the bird we all adore. 
Tweety: (sings) I'm gonna do what no one else has done before.
People: (singing) He's going 'round the world in 80 days. Right through to Pakistan, Taipei, and China, Budapest, Bombay.
Tweety: (sings) I'm gonna see the world in 80 ways. 
Granny: (sings) All those exotic habitats. 
Tweety: (sings) Outsmarting puddy tats!
People: (singing) Around the world in 80 days.
Tweety: (sings) I gotta check but you can bet that when I'm through, I'll be back to say I won on December 21. Oh, yes indeedy. I'll be speedy.
Granny: (sings) That's my sweetie.
People: (singing) Hooray for Tweety!
Tweety: (sings) It's the chance, I'm gonna take it.
Colonel Rimfire: (sings) I say he'll never make it. No one's ever done it all the ways. 
People: (singing) Gone around the world in 80 days!
Tweety: Gotta run.
[As Tweety heads off, the Shropshire Slasher notices a newspaper with the front-page reporting about a stolen royal passport.]
Shropshire Slasher: (reads headline) "Royal passport stolen." Sooner or later, you'll have company, mate.
[Sylvester is nearby, determined to nab Tweety.]
Sylvester: Those foreign pussycats gonna nab my lunch? I'll fix that canary.
[Tweety flies around the black cat.]
Sylvester: Hey!
[He leaps but misses the bird.]
Tweety: First, you gotta catch me, puddy.
Sylvester: Well, first things first.
[Later, we see a leg brace beeping as it picks up Tweety’s location.]
Tweety: I'm right on course for Paris, France.
[However, a strong wind blows Tweety away from his destination.]
Tweety: Hey, I'm being blown too far east by this stiff wind.
[He ends up in the Swiss Alps.]
Tweety: I'm lost some place over the Alps.
[He tries to fly through the wind, but it blows him and the passport to a mountain. Tweety tries to pull it off, but it’s stuck. A mountain climber, Daffy Duck, is seen nearby.]
Tweety: Excuse me, Mr. Mountain Climber, I could use a hand.
Daffy Duck: (to Tweety) A hand! I could use my own movie, you little canary!
Tweety: Uh, that's beyond my control. Some assistance, please?
Daffy Duck: Huh! Mr. Popular.
[As he’s about to grab Tweety, the ice underneath Daffy breaks and the duck falls down. Pan up to see Bugs Bunny snowboarding down the mountain.]
Tweety: When life hangs in the balance, you can always depend on one thing. Extreme sports.
[Daffy tumbles down the mountain before busting through the ice with his beak sticking out.]
Daffy Duck: Some cameo this is. 
[Bugs grabs Tweety out of the mountain.]
Daffy Duck: How the heck did I get here?
[He pulls himself out, but the ice shatters beneath him. He waves goodbye to the viewers before going down the mountain. Luckily, Bugs also saves Daffy.]
Tweety: Thanks. You're a couple of crown jewels.
Bugs Bunny: Eh, it's a living.
[Tweety flies away.]
Daffy Duck: Showoff.
[Later, we fade to Paris, France, on October 12th. Sylvester is seen pacing around and checking his watch.]
Sylvester: Sheesh. 10 days in Paris and no sign of that stupid bird. They must have dropped a whole sequence or something.
[He sits at a table and drinks his cappuccino.]
Sylvester: A pussycat can't live on decaf cappuccino trailmix cafe au lait, for crying out loud. He must have got lost. Probably be another month before Tweety finds old gay Paris.
[Just then, he hears snarling nearby.]
Sylvester: Huh?
[He sees Penelope chasing after Tweety.]
Sylvester: Hey! Watch it, sister.
[Penelope leaps out, only to hit the table. Some white paint streaks her tail, giving it a white stripe. She continues to chase Tweety.]
Sylvester: No, you don't.
[He joins the chase as Tweety flies away from the two cats.]
Tweety: Whew. That Paris customs office better be close.
[Tweety makes a right turn and Penelope runs into some trash cans.]
Sylvester: NOBODY swipes MY canary croissant, mademoiselle!
[Tweety arrives at the customs office and gets a stamp.]
Tweety: Merci. Oh, Mr. Customs man, this might interest you.
[The customs man, Pepe le Pew, sees Sylvester and Penelope fighting and thinks they’re both female skunks. He gasps and hearts float around him. He then steps in and stops their fighting.]
Pepe le Pew: (speaking French) You 2 skunks must not fight over moi.
Sylvester: Skunks?
Pepe le Pew: Tch, tch, tch. It is so UN-mademoiselle.
[Tweety flies near Penelope and gets her pawprint in the passport.]
Tweety: Merci. That's one down, 79 to go.
[He flies off and chews some bubblegum.]
Tweety: French bubblegum.
[He blows a bubble in the shape of the Eiffel Tower and floats away.]
Sylvester: (offscreen) Listen, I know how it looks, but you've got it all wrong. I'm not a skunk!
Pepé Le Pew: (offscreen) My love can never be wrong. (kisses him)
[Meanwhile, in Floyd's of London, we see Foghorn and some chickens keeping track on Tweety while placing bets.]
Foghorn Leghorn: Place your bets here. Place your birdseed bets. Step, I say, step right up and place it on Tweety. Yeah. He's leaving, I say, he's leaving France. Jet streams are blowing him southeast way ahead of schedule.
[Henery's phone rings and he answers it. Blabber comes on from the other side.]
Henery Hawk: We've set the odds at 20 to 1 in Tweety's favor.
[A reply comes through on his phone.]
Henery Hawk: Come on, bet some bird seed! Don't be chicken!
Prissy: MY GOODNESS! Haven't we come far enough to stop using that horrid term?!
Foghorn Leghorn: Keep your shirt on, Prissy. He's just, I say, just stirring the wagering pot. Looks like our fine-feathered friend is heading into Venetian territory. Uh, Venice, Italy, that is.
[Fade to show Tweety in Venice, Italy. His bubblegum pops and deflates.]
Tweety: Whew! I'm famished from tasting nothing but bubblegum.
[He spots a nearby Italian restaurant.]
Tweety: Oh, boy. Italian grub.
[He flies in and sits on a table. Charlie Dog appears as a waiter.]
Tweety: Birdseed with your best marinara sauce.
Charlie Dog: Mm-hmm.
[Soon, Tweety was done eating, though he was fat.]
Tweety: Oops. I overdid it on the basil.
[He tries to fly, but couldn't, due to his weight. He then spots a gondola sailing by.]
Tweety: Well, there are other modes of transport.
Charlie Dog carries the obese bird and stumbles around before setting him down on a gondola. It shakes the boat a bit.
Tweety: Row me to the Venetian consulate.
The gondolier nods and rows the boat.
Tweety: Ah, Venice. City of romance, architecture, food, and--
[Then, two Italian cats board the boat.]
Tweety: Uh-oh. Italian puddy tats! Of course, this completely wrecks the present digestive situation. Oh, Mr. Gondolier?
[Unfortunately, the gondolier is also a cat. Tweety looks to see some more cats on the bridge.]
Tweety: I've got a queasy feeling, and this bridge has got 5, 10, 15 puddy tats.
[The cats board the boat, but Tweety gets an idea. He bowls himself into the cats, knocking them down like pins. Then, he rolls into another building and lets out a big burp.]
Tweety: (offscreen) It was all gas. Who knew?
[He comes out, back to his normal self. His passport gets another stamp.]
Tweety: Thank you.
[Tweety walks by the edge and cats try to grab him, but he gets their pawprints while running by.]
Tweety: Not only does this rest my little wings, but it's a great way to find pawprints.
[Cut to a Looney News Network report from Lola Bunny.]
Lola Bunny: (on TV) Lola Bunny here, with an LNN Tweety update. That trusty ankle transmitter indicates our globe-trotting canary has successfully navigated the canals of Venice. Venetian locals confirm Tweety has amassed a grand total thus far of 37 feline paw prints.
[The other club members mutter about this.]
Colonel Rimfire: Pure dumb luck. Absolutely.
Granny: Prepare to back that up, colonel. I am. I'll add to the wager my complete Nash hubcap collection.
Colonel Rimfire: Oh, why, I'll break out my moustache wax reserves and triple my wager!
Granny: Ho ho. You, colonel, are the latest in a long line of people to underestimate Tweety.
[Later, Tweety arrives in Egypt.]
Tweety: (Breathing heavily) Whew.
[A camel with a fez walks by.]
Tweety: Oh, you must be the Egyptian counsel. There's one thing I need right here. Your stamp.
[The camel stamps Tweety’s passport.]
Tweety: Oh, and love your Fez. (yawns) Whew. I just flew in from Italy, and boy, are my arms tired. (sees the Sphinx) Wow! Now that's what you call a snub nose.
Sphinx: Sticks and stones may break my nose, but names will never hurt me.
Tweety: (yawns) I think this is a good time for me to take a little cat-nap. Ooh, what I just said. (giggles)
[But as he sleeps, Sylvester has followed him, aided by other cats.]
Sylvester: There's my little desert oasis. (to the other cats) Let's get 'em, boys!
[They all rush toward Tweety, who wakes up and sees them.]
Tweety: Uh-oh. I tawt I taw a pack of desert puddy tats.
Sylvester: Give me about a 20-second lead, then follow me.
Tweety: I did. I did tee a pack of desert puddy tats.
[Sylvester tries to leap toward Tweety, only to miss and get sand in his mouth. Tweety flies near him and the cat grabs him. He tries to stuff him in his mouth, but the sand gets in the way. Sylvester spits out the sand and prepares to eat Tweety.]
Cat: (offscreen) Duh, 18, 19, 20!
[The other cats leap out and attack Sylvester by accident.]
Sylvester: Oh, stupid mercenary pussycats.
[He crawls out of the pile and chases the bird.]
Tweety: I better hide in here.
[He enters the Sphinx.]
Sylvester: Come back here, you desert sandwich!
[Sylvester gets in, but a brick wall stops the other cats from entering. Tweety enters a room, and another brick wall stops Sylvester.]
Tweety: Whew. I should be safe in here from that bad old puddy tat. (spots a piccolo lying by) Oh, look. A piccolo.
[He picks up and plays it. A beautiful lady rises out of a basket.]
Tweety: Doesn't look like any mummy I ever met. (to the lady) Say, pretty lady, do you know what tunnel I can take to get out of here?
[Unfortunately, the lady is actually a disguised Sylvester.]
Tweety: Ah, ah, ah!
Sylvester: (points to his mouth) Ahh.
[Tweety recoils from Sylvester’s breath.]
Tweety: You've heard of the Lincoln Tunnel? Well, that's the Stinking Tunnel.
[He sticks the piccolo in Sylvester’s mouth, keeping it open.]
Sylvester: Ah! (spits it out) Pf-ooey!
[Tweety spots some hieroglyphics written on the wall.]
Tweety: Oh, what's this? Lucky for me, I'm a graduate of the hooked-on-hieroglyphics program. (reads the hieroglyphics) "Death comes on wings to he who enters the tomb of the pharaoh." (speaks) Say, I have wings.
Sylvester: (grabs Tweety) And I've got you.
Tweety: Oh, puddy, can you read hieroglyphics?
Sylvester: Certainly.
Tweety: Well, then. You better read that.
Sylvester: (looks at the hieroglyphics) Ah, um, "no shirt, no shoes, no service." Hmm. Nothing like eating in a classy joint.
[Some sarcophagi open to let out mummified cats.]
Sylvester: You've been on my menu for a long time.
[A mummified hand taps him on the shoulder.]
Sylvester: Just a minute, bub.
[The hand taps his shoulder again.]
Sylvester: Say, pal. Can't you see I'm about to dine here?
[He turns to see the mummified cats standing menacingly.]
Sylvester: (weakly) Mummy.
[His color melts off and the mummy cats attack him. Through the fight cloud, Tweety grabs some more pawprints for the passport.]
Tweety: Looks like Egyptian cats have more than 9 lives. Now, if I could only find a way out of here.
[Sylvester gets punched out and sent flying through the walls, breaking a big hole into the outside world.]
Tweety: Thanks, bad old puddy tat.
[He flies off. Much later, Tweety arrives in the African jungle.]
Tweety: Ooh, there will be plenty of opportunities to collect pawprints in the jungle.
[Suddenly, he hears various noises and sees some trees falling down. Out steps a Minah bird, walking to the beat of his theme.]
Tweety: Say, cousin, could you tell me where I might find some cats around here?
[The Minah bird walks past the bird. Tweety shrugs and walks like him. The Minah bird hops and walks over a sleeping red lion, but Tweety enters through the lion’s mouth. The lion perks up and slurps his tongue before going back to sleep. Tweety continues walking before hitting the tail.]
Tweety: Oops. Dead end. (to someone inside the lion) Could you stamp this passport? Thanks.
[Tweety opens one of the lion’s teeth like a door and gets out.]
Tweety: Don't go in there. It's scary. 
[The red lion jumps back in fright. ]
Tweety: Lucky for me, that lion swallowed the local counsel. 
[Tweety opens his passport to reveal an African stamp. The lion bends down and roars at Tweety. Tweety giggles and then runs away. The lion chases him into a tree, before getting hit by two coconuts. Pete Puma shows up, laughing out loud.]
Pete Puma: And you call yourself the King of the Forest! Sheesh.
[Tweety grabs a coconut at the top of the tree.]
Tweety: Target in sight. Bombs away. (throws the coconut onto Pete's head) Direct hit. Uh-oh. (sees the two lions climbing up the tree) Uh-oh again.
[The lions reach the top, and Tweety finds himself caught between them. They lunge towards Tweety but are caught by the Minah bird and thrown to the ground. Tweety flies back down to them and uses his royal passport to collect their pawprints.]
Tweety: Guess they never heard of the saying "Birds of a feather flock together." (laughs like Pete and smiles)
[Fade back to Floyd's of London.]
Foghorn Leghorn: Hmm. Odds are way, I say, way up on Tweety. Right now, it looks like our bird's heading for Tibet.
Henery Hawk: Tibet? He's supposed to be the one everyone else is wagering on.
Foghorn Leghorn: No, no, son. Tibet the country, not the infinitive. Uh, verb, that is.
Henery Hawk: Well, why didn't you say so?
Foghorn Leghorn: (to Egghead Jr) Nice boy, but his skylight leaks a little. (Egghead Jr nods)
[In Tibet, a strong wind causes Tweety falls into the snow near Souvenirs and Customs. Gossamer comes out and picks up Tweety. The canary opens up the passport and the monster stamps it.]
Tweety: Thanks.
[As the bird flies off, the wind blows him away. He splats on a mountain.]
Tweety: Talk about your air turbulence. Say, what a spectacular view.
[As he walks around, he notices some people snowboarding down the mountain.]
Tweety: Strange. I didn't know there was anything else built this high up in the himalayas.
[A sign flashes, reading “Snowboard Rentals.”]
Tweety: Subtle, isn't it?
[Tweety looks down the edge to see a hidden village where a cult gathered around a small bird.]
Tweety: Hmm. Looks like these locals are gonna put on some kind of peaceful ceremony.
[Torches are lit and the bird tweets in fear. Tweety gasps. The leader lights two lanterns surrounding the statue of a canary bird.]
Clarence Cat: Oh, great yellow one, please accept our meager sacrifice, this puny canary, known as Aoogah.
[They light up the pile of sticks beneath Aoogah and the bird is tied to her post, unable to escape.]
Tweety: Oh, my gosh, those cats are about to sacrifice that poor little canary in the name of a statue that looks just like me. Here goes nothing!
[He rolls down the snowy mountain and becomes a big snowball. An abominable snowman, Hugo, walks out of his cave when he notices the snowball.]
Hugo: What the--hey!
[The snowball rolls into Hugo and it crashes down into the ceremony, preventing the cats from sacrificing Aoogah.]
Clarence Cat: What force of nature dares disrupt our peaceful canary sacrifice?
Tweety: This force of nature, bub.
[He flies near the statue and the cult sees him as the Great Canary himself. They gasp in shock and awe.]
Clarence Cat: It is you, oh, great one. Please forgive us for displeasing you. Your wish is our command. Name it and it shall be yours.
Tweety: Well, there is one thing.
[Fade to an executioner lifting up an axe before swinging it down. CHOP! It cuts the rope binding Aoogah, freeing the bird. She tweets happily and hugs Tweety.]
Tweety: Aw, stop it. You're embarrassing me. Besides, I got some rules to dictate. (to the cult) Now, take this down. We promise never to sacrifice any more birds, by order of the great one himself. Promise?
Clarence Cat: Oh, I suppose so... But what will we do with ourselves on Saturday nights?
Tweety: Well, I picked up a friend here who might be able to answer that question.
[He lifts Hugo out of the snow and the snowman hugs the cats.]
Hugo: Oh, I always wanted a little kitty cat to love and play with me. Now I got me a whole bunch to call my own.
Aoogah: Are you always such a kind, caring person, Tweety?
Tweety: When I have the time. (realizes) Oh, my gosh, time! 
[He zips off to grab some paw prints for the royal passport.]
Tweety: It's an honor to offer your pawprints to the great canary, guys. How lucky you are. 
[Aoogah helps by turning the pages for each paw print.]
Tweety: Say, you're pretty handy at this, Aoogah.
Aoogah: When you're the only canary in a land of cats, you catch on quick.
Tweety: (to the cats) Whoa, that's enough. Leave some for the other countries.
Aoogah: Other countries?
Tweety: I've got half the world yet to see before I get back to England on December 21st.
Aoogah: Mind if I join you?
Tweety: Why not? Just one question, Aoogah. Why do they call you Aoogah?
[Aoogah giggles before yelling an AOOOGAH sound, blowing Tweety and the others away.]
Tweety: Never underestimate a small package.
[Soon, the two birds fly off on their journey.]
Tweety: Come on, Aoogah, half the world is our oyster.
[In China, a hang-glider flies by Tweety and Aoogah near the Great Wall.]
Tweety: Ohh! Extreme sports are a ubiquitous global commodity.
[A gust of wind blows the two down into the wall. Luckily, two Chinese men help them up.]
Chinese Man: (translated) Congratulations on your trip so far!
[They stamp the royal passport and give Tweety a trophy.]
Tweety: Thanks.
[He puts a sticky note on the trophy reading "Send to London."]
Tweety: Please, ship it ahead. Now that was off the wall.
[The wind blows Tweety and Aoogah away.]
Tweety: Whoa! We're at the mercy of the jet stream.
[The two wind up in...]
Tweety: Mexico?
[In Mexico, El Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is being celebrated.]
Tweety: Man, that was one powerful gust of wind.
[Speedy Gonzales zips in and stamps Tweety's passport before giving him a trophy.]
Tweety: Thanks. 
[Aoogah puts another sticky note on the trophy.]
Tweety: We can't carry all these trophies.
[The wind blows the two birds to Rio de Janiero, Brazil. They stop near a hideout.]
Tweety: This must be Rio.
Mugsy: Duh… by the sea-o.
[Rocky grabs Mugsy by the mouth.]
Rocky: Button youse lip, Mugsy. We're supposed to be hidin' out in this here country.
Mugsy: Ohh.
[He buttons his lip and stamps the royal passport.]
Tweety: Much obliged.
[The wind blows Tweety and Aoogah away.]
Tweety: Oops. Wind express.
[They arrive in Buenos Aires, Argentina.]
Tweety: Lovely detour, but we've gotta get back on track.
[They fly down the fields.]
Tweety: Ow! That chafes.
[Hector appears, stamps the passport, and gives them a trophy. Aoogah puts a sticky note on it.]
Tweety: We'll be fine as long as you don't run out of sticky notes.
[The wind blows the birds away.]
Tweety: Enough of this "backwards" business! Let's show the jet stream who's boss.
[They use the passport to ride down the wind.]
Tweety and Aoogah: Whee!
[Cut back to the world watching the LNN report.]
Lola Bunny: (on TV) The world continues to marvel at Tweety.
Cat: That's just peachy, but the world is made up of a lot more than just birds. Besides, I'm hungry.
Lola Bunny: (on TV) Tweety seems to have added a traveling companion along the global route.
Foghorn Leghorn: Well, I say, all right. 
Henery Hawk: 2 birds, one mission, more birdseed bettin'.
Prissy: Ah, yes.
[Meanwhile, Tweety and Aoogah arrive in Yokohama, Japan. A crowd is here to cheer on the departing cruise ship. The Shropshire Slasher pickpockets a few people before noticing the birds fly by.]
Tweety: First China, then Mexico to Japan. Now that's takin' the direct route.
[They fly towards the boat.]
Tweety: Hurry up, Aoogah. There goes our boat to America.
[Tweety and Aoogah arrive on the boat and pant in exhaustion.]
Tweety: Take a rest, Aoogah. I know that your hair must be tired.
[Unfortunately for them, Sylvester isn’t far behind.]
Sylvester: I always heard there was lots of food on these cruise ships. (laughs maniacally)
[Suddenly, a crewmate grabs the cat.]
Crewmate: Ah, you must be the cat we got to catch those pesky mice. They're in the galley. Get to it! (kicks Sylvester into the galley) You can come back up when you've caught 'em.
Tweety: He don't know him very well, do he?
[Fade to Sylvester prowling around for mice.]
Sylvester: Might as well have a couple of mouse appetizers down here then go topside for the main course.
[Inside a cupboard, two mice, Hubie and Bert, are eating cheese.]
Hubie: Hey, Bert, we're on a boat leaving Japan, headin' to America eatin' Swiss cheese.
Bert: Yeah, Hubie, ain't it great bein' a mouse?
Hubie: Sure thing, Bert, sure thing.
Bert: Say, Hube, what do you say we take a jog around the deck to work off some of this cheese?
Hubie: Right behind ya, Bert. All we need to do is run- (opens a door and sees Sylvester) FOR OUR LIVES!
[The two mice run away.]
Sylvester: Come back here, you p-p-pesky stowaways!
[He chases the mice in the kitchen. They flip the pan to make it hit Sylvester. It falls off, getting eggs on the cat’s eyes.]
Hubie: Don't ask us where the skillet went. (Bert laughs) Ok, here's what we're gonna do, Bert. First you… (whispers) Hee hee hee, and then I will... (whispers) Hee hee hee.
Bert: Heh heh heh. Riot. Heh heh.
[Later, Bert throws a glass of water on Sylvester’s nose.]
Sylvester: Pffttt! Pffttt! Help! Pussycat overboard. Pffttt!
[He gets it off and chases Bert. Hubie stands by a bucket of water before pushing it down. Sylvester and Bert slide down the water.]
Sylvester: Got ya!
[Bert floats away on a bubble while Sylvester slips off the ship. He floats mid-air and stares down at the water with sharks swimming in it.]
Sylvester: (gasps) Nice effects.
[He runs back to the edge and holds on with his claws. Tweety and Aoogah notice.]
Tweety: Aw, the poor puddy wants to go play with those sharks, but his claws are all stuck. Don't worry, puddy tat, I'll liberate you.
[He gets out a crowbar and pries Sylvester off the edge, causing the cat to fall into the water. He gets attacked by sharks.]
Tweety: Ooh, look how fast that puddy tat can swim.
Bert: Heh heh heh. Yeah. Riot. 
Sylvester: Help! Help! Cat overboard!
Tweety: Gee, I think Puddy is in real trouble. We'd better help.
[He grabs a nearby life preserver.]
Tweety: Ready, Aoogah?
Tweety and Aoogah: 1, 2, 3!
[They throw it off, but it bonks off Sylvester's head. The cat sinks into the water.]
Tweety: Come on.
[They fly down to the life preserver and Tweety dives down to get Sylvester back on the surface.]
Tweety: Phew. What I won't do for Warner Brothers.
Sylvester: You saved my life. How's that for irony?
[Aoogah sees the boat sailing off without them.]
Aoogah: There goes our ride.
Tweety: If you use your imagination…
[They see a big tidal wave coming in.]
Tweety: And here comes the tide.
[The tidal wave sweeps them, and they all end up on the shore.]
Sylvester: (coughs) Where are we?
Tweety: It's not on my itinerary but look!
[They see kangaroos hopping by, with one of them, Hippety Hopper, hopping to the birds. He stamps the royal passport.]
Tweety: Thanks. G'day.
[The kangaroo hops away.]
Sylvester: Wow! Wherever we are, they sure grow big mouses.
Tweety: Those aren't mice, puddy tat. They're kangaroos. We're in Australia.
Sylvester: Well, I see a shrimp I'd like to put on the bar-b.
[He imagines Tweety with the lower half of a shrimp.]
Tweety: Hey! Cut that out.
[The lower half disappears, and Sylvester prepares to eat Tweety when they see a tornado spinning their way.]
Sylvester: (screams) MS-5 waterspout!
Tweety: Duck and cover!
[Tweety and Aoogah hide behind a rock while Sylvester tries to hide behind a measly pile of sand. He then decides to tuck his head in the sand. The tornado stops by the cat, revealing it to be the Tasmanian Devil, or Taz for short. Taz babbles before tapping on Sylvester's behind to get the cat out of hiding.]
Sylvester: (screams) It's a twister with really big teeth.
[He tries to leave, but Taz grabs him by the tail.]
Taz: Taz hungry.
Sylvester: (nervously) Heh heh heh. I thought you were Australian.
Taz: Heh heh. Time for Taz dinner.
Sylvester: (gulps) You look like the kind of guy who savors a fine gourmet meal. Well, let me tell you what. (whispers) A couple of canaries...
[Cut to Tweety and Aoogah as the former notices this.]
Tweety: That puddy's up to something. We'd better take off.
[However, Sylvester and Taz are now on the hunt for the two birds.]
Sylvester: Going somewhere? (Taz babbles)
Tweety: Fly for it!
[They chase after the birds and Sylvester leaps out, only to go into Taz's mouth.]
Sylvester: (inside Taz's mouth) Get me outta here! Smells like a butcher shop.
[Taz spits Sylvester out, though his dentures are biting on the cat.]
Taz: Huh?
[He grabs his dentures back, shaving off Sylvester’s fur, and puts them back on.]
Sylvester: Eep. (faints)
[Later, as Tweety and Aoogah fly, they see Taz and Sylvester still chasing them.]
Tweety: Uh oh. Let's peel rubber!
[They fly past a rental shop and Taz and Sylvester stop to get on a bicycle.]
Taz: Heh heh. Varoom.
Sylvester: PUNCH IT!
Bike Salesman: Whoa. Safety first, mate.
[They grab their helmets and put them on. They bike up the hill, and the cat spots the birds.]
Sylvester: Look! There they are!
[Taz babbles and rides downhill.]
Sylvester: Hey, it's Extreme Sports, not Extreme Peril!
[He screams as Taz does some extreme tricks, like riding atop a long bridge and going over a waterfall.]
Sylvester: Cats hate water.
[Taz sinks a bit into the water but keeps on moving.]
Sylvester: What am I doin' here?
[Tweety and Aoogah fly by the two.]
Tweety: Hey, puddy, what's cookin'?
[Sylvester tries to grab them but hits the water. Taz then goes up a mountain, goes downhill, and rides across the mud. They stop near some huge trees.]
Sylvester: Where did those two snacks go?
[Taz looks up at the tree in front of them.]
Sylvester: Now, don't you be gettin' any ideas. (Taz babbles) Wait. Stop! Nooo!
[Taz goes up the tree while Sylvester holds on. The bike loops around a branch and flies off the tree before falling down, bouncing off another branch. They fly through the air.]
Taz: Va-varoom! Mmm, mmm, mmm! Heh heh heh. Varoom-varoom. (sputters) Heh heh. Heh.
[They bounce off the edges of a mountain and get back on land.]
Taz: Taz like.
Sylvester: There goes our deposit.
[Soon, Tweety and Aoogah arrive at the edge of a cliff. Aoogah faints, out of breath.]
Tweety: Whoa!
[He flies down to grab Aoogah.]
Tweety: Got ya. Either you got low blood sugar or you're just plain pooped.
Aoogah: (pants) I can't continue. You go on without me.
Tweety: No way, Aoogah. We'll find a boat out of here.
Aoogah: Well, we'd better find it quick. 
[They see Sylvester and Taz coming. Tweety spots a hang glider nearby.]
Tweety: Look.
[They rush over to the hang glider.]
Sylvester: Hey, Bright Eyes, step on it! My lunch- I mean, our lunch is getting away!
[Taz babbles and speeds up. Tweety and Aoogah push the hang glider until it goes off the edge with them on it. Sylvester jumps off the bike and hangs on. Taz stops to notice he’s in mid-air and holds up Wile E. Coyote holding up a sign reading “Mother.” Taz waves goodbye and they both fall into the water below. Cut to the hang glider, the two birds see Sylvester crawling towards them.]
Tweety: Uh-oh. We got a stowaway on the forward mast. Time to bail, Aoogah. (flies up to Sylvester) Hiya, Puddy.
Sylvester: (tries to catch Tweety) Got ya!
Tweety: Careful, silly, you could fall.
[Sylvester falls and hangs onto the hang glider while the birds fly off.]
Tweety: So long, puddy.
[The cat flies around like crazy.]
Tweety: Puddy can fly about as well as he can swim.
Sylvester: Oh no. Not the water again!
[He falls into the water. A surfer gets knocked off, then gets hit by a boat sailing by with Sylvester on it.]
Sylvester: Oh, no.
Tweety: Gee, Puddy, you think of everything. Looks like we're gonna ride the waves all the way to San Francisco.
[Many wet days later, they arrive in San Francisco, California.]
Tweety: Ahh, San Francisco.
Aoogah: Be careful, Tweety. This bay is rather crowded.
[The birds get off as a Viking ship hits the boat and Sylvester.]
Tweety: That puddy tat just can't stay out of the water.
[They fly off and arrive at the Fisherman's Wharf.]
Tweety: Ooh! Let's land on the famous Fisherman's Wharf sign and breathe some fresh smells. We can find pawprints around the wharf, but we gotta go into town to get my passport stamped, then head over to the train station.
[Later, they emerge from the US Customs building.]
Tweety: Well, that takes care of the United States. Where to, Aoogah? 
Aoogah: I'm hungry. How about some--
[Sylvester pops up with a chef’s hat on.]
Sylvester: Lunch?
Aoogah: Yikes!
[They fly away onto a skateboard.]
Sylvester: Oh, no, you don't!
[They skate away from Sylvester. The cat notices another skateboard and kicks the end of it to flip it. It bonks off his head, giving him a bump. He gets on and skates down the lane.]
Sylvester: Whaa-ha!
[But he misses the birds and crashes into a trash can. Sylvester then tries to get in their way, but Tweety skates around the cat.]
Sylvester: Talk about your fast food.
[Then, Tweety and Aoogah come across a wild path down the lane.]
Tweety: Uh-oh. Hold on, Aoogah. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. We could just fly, but what fun would that be?
[They see Sylvester running after them.]
Sylvester: Come back here!
[The two ride down the path.]
Tweety: Whee!
[Sylvester sees a trolley moving by and hops on.]
Sylvester: Canaries, the San Francisco tweet.
[The conductor, Yosemite Sam, stops the trolley.]
Yosemite Sam: Next stop, Union Square.
[Sylvester hijacks the trolley.]
Yosemite Sam: Hey! What the-
[Sylvester releases the brake and drives the trolley at full speed.]
Yosemite Sam: Stop it, stop it! You'll never make the turn if'n you don't slow down at the bottom of the hill! Pull back on the stick, you nitwit!
[Sylvester pulls back, but it breaks off and he collides with Sam.]
Yosemite Sam: Give me that there brake throttle! (Sylvester hands him the brake throttle) There's a reason they don't hire kitty cats for this job.
[The trolley goes off the road, crashes through a wall, and goes down and up a hill.]
Yosemite Sam: Oh, now you done caused us to jump the track, you furry galoot!
[It stops at the top of a big hill. The two become scared and try to put the brake back on but can’t. Then, they try to give each other the brake.]
Yosemite Sam: You take it!
Sylvester: No, you!
Yosemite Sam: No, no, no!
Sylvester: You take it!
Yosemite Sam: No, you!
[The trolley goes downhill and the two bump around. Soon, it enters a fog.]
Yosemite Sam: Razzin' frazzin' fog. I blames you for this.
[They go up and down some hills.]
Yosemite Sam: Gee, I wonder where we are?
[The fog clears away to show the trolley on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. They scream in horror.]
Yosemite Sam: Get us down off of here, ya idjit feline!
[They both ride down the bridge and back into the fog.]
Yosemite Sam: Slow up, ya dang cat! I think we're back on Market Street! 
[The fog disappears and they find themselves in…]
Yosemite Sam: (reads a nearby sign) "Welcome to Alcatraz"? That's a closed-up hoosegow! Built on an island!
[He starts chasing Sylvester and whacking him with his hat.]
Yosemite Sam: YOU GOT US STUCK ON THIS STUPID ROCK, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING FELINE! YOU NO GOOD RAZZIN FRAZZIN KITTY CAT! GET BACK HERE AND TAKE WHAT FOR! COME HERE, BOY!
[Tweety and Aoogah watch this through mounted binoculars.]
Tweety: He must be the cat man of Alcatraz. (Aoogah laughs) We'd better get goin', Aoogah. Our train will be leaving the station any minute.
[They fly to the train station, where a train is waiting.]
Tweety: Look! A beautiful F-1 antique diesel to commemorate my global trip.
[They get on and the train chugs off. Sylvester hops on while Sam chases him.]
Sylvester: What a maroon! (laughs)
[Yosemite Sam keeps on chasing the train until it arrives in Las Vegas, Nevada. Sylvester gets off and sees the man coming, so he runs away. The chase goes from train to train until Sam stops at the very last car.]
Yosemite Sam: Huh?
[Sylvester locks the door behind Sam and rings the lantern.]
Train Conductor: Holy smokes! We've got to highball!
[The train chugs off with Sam on it. He sees Sylvester waving goodbye at him.]
Yosemite Sam: Great horny toads! I've been railroaded.
[In Las Vegas, we see various signs, all of which are betting on Tweety. Tweety and Aoogah arrive at the Non-Union Plaza Hotel and Casino.]
Tweety: I'm 30 seconds ahead of schedule. We can afford to pause and check my odds.
[As they go in, Sylvester shortly arrives by taxi.]
Sylvester: (reads a sign) "Check our odds on Tweety's global trip." Hmm! The odds are I'll eat that darn canary.
[A bus comes in to drop a ton of cats off. Inside, Sylvester sees them having fun in the casino.]
Sylvester: Jeez, this must be where all pussycats go on their 3-day weekends.
[He stops near a crowd of cats gathering around for something.]
Sylvester: Hey! Uh--uh--what's the big attraction? Catnip samples?
[We see some cats doubting Tweety’s journey.]
Casino Cat: He's somewhere here in Vegas, but he won't finish.
Casino Cat 2: No bird can pull it off.
Casino Cat 3: Yeah, what do they think they're doin'?
[Tweety and Aoogah watch this from a chandelier.]
Aoogah: Tweety, I don't believe they want you to win.
Tweety: Tch, tch. Just like puddy tats.
Casino Cat: (sings) Those birdies are lost. It's over and done. They're callin' 'em frauds. They're puttin' the odds at 100 to 1.
Casino Cat 2: (sings) It's a walk in the park. It's a kick in the pants. (gets kicked) We're standin' on top and Tweety don't stand a chance.
Casino Cat: (sings) He thought he could win. You know what I say? They yell congrats, you're smarter than cats. Well, baby, no way! 
Casino Cat 2: (sings) You're fallin' behind, so I'll say in advance. It's in the bag and Tweety don't stand a chance. 
[Cut to the chickens.]
Foghorn Leghorn: (sings) He's gonna do great. He's comin' on home. He got past Cairo, London, Frankfurt, Paris, and Rome. He can't be stopped and he's gonna win. So place your bet 'cause Tweety Bird's headin', I said, headin' on in.
[A split-screen shows the chickens and cats singing.]
Cats: (singing) There ain't no way.
Chickens: (singing) He's on his way. 
Cats: (singing) He's going to fail.
Chickens: (singing) He's gotten those prints.
Cats: (singing) He's starting to sweat.
Chickens: (singing) And you can bet.
Cats: (singing) He's going to fail.
Chickens: (singing) He's almost home.
Cats: (singing) He's way behind.
Chickens: (singing) He's out in front.
Cats: (singing) He's in a bind.
[Sylvester sees the birds on the chandelier.]
Cats and Chickens: (singing) That's why we're bettin' the farm 'cause none of you stand a chance!
[Cut to Sylvester walking over the cats.]
Sylvester: Excuse me. Pardon. Pardon me. Oh. Shut up!
[Cut back to the song.]
Chickens: (singing) He knows the way.
Cats: (singing) Old Tweety's lost.
Chickens: (singing) He's almost here.
Cats: (singing) He'll never get home.
Chickens: (singing) He got past Cairo, London, Frankfurt, Paris, and Rome.
Cats: (singing) He's given it up.
Chickens: (singing) He'll keep his cool.
Cats: (singing) He'll blow a fuse.
Chickens: (singing) He's gonna win.
Cats: (singing) He's gonna lose.
Cats and Chickens: (singing) I'm tellin' you now that none of you stand a chance!
[Cut back to the Looney Club.]
Waiter: (offscreen) May we help you?
Little Girl: (offscreen) If you please, sir, we'd like to see Granny.
[The little kids enter the place.]
Little Boy: Granny, we hate to bother you in here, but we just got kicked off the street for selling flowers without a permit.
Little Girl: We can't afford a permit.
Granny: There, there. Granny hasn't forgotten about you.
[She makes a call to Floyd’s of London.]
Henery Hawk: (on phone) What?! Are you sure about that?
[Cut back to the song.]
Cats and Chickens: (singing) I'm tellin' you now that none of you stand a-- 
Henery Hawk: (interrupts) Hold it! Granny pledges the bulk of her winnings to save a destitute British children's park.
[The odds go up in Tweety's favor.]
Chickens: (singing) I'm tellin' you now that none of you stand a chance!
[They cheer for Tweety. Cut back to Tweety and Aoogah.]
Tweety: Save a park? Like I need a stronger push.
[Sylvester makes it to the stage and points out the birds up above.]
Sylvester: Look, it's them!
Cats: Tweety!
[One cat unties the rope to drop the chandelier down.]
Cat: Get the bird!
[The birds fly off as the cats try to grab him. Aoogah gets one paw print for the passport but gets grabbed by a cat.]
Cat 2: I got your pawprints right here!
[Tweety grabs a stick and rams it up the cat, making him let go of Aoogah.]
Cat 2: Ooh!
Tweety: Ooh, tough crowd.
[They keep flying away from the cats. One cat finds Tweety in a purse, only for it to be a Pez dispenser. A cat lady bonks him with her umbrella before the Pez dispenser spits out a Pez to knock him out. Another cat pounces on a roulette wheel but finds a yellow ball. A third cat ends up finding a Tweety popsicle being licked by a cat kid. The birds hide under a table, but Sylvester nabs Tweety.]
Sylvester: Got ya!
[Aoogah lets out a loud AWOOGA to make him let go of Tweety.]
Cat: (offscreen) Hey, there they are.
[They fly away and go through a door before the cats run into it. We then see Sylvester stumbling around the slot machines until an old cat lady pulls the stick, hitting his head. All three slots show Tweety, and the machine spills out several coins on Sylvester.]
Old Cat Lady: Stick with me, hon. You're good luck.
[Her kitten, Pussyfoot, leaps onto Sylvester and sleeps on his head. Outside, the Shropshire Slasher nabs another wallet while Tweety and Aoogah fly out of the casino.]
Tweety: Ooh, we gotta scoot. That last song made us a whole minute late.
[Fade to St. Louis, Missouri, they come to Catfish Packers where two cats are searching in a trash can. As one grabs a fish, Aoogah throws it away, smears his paw in black paint, and stamps it in the passport. Then, the birds go to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in a steel mill to get another paw print. Next, they arrive in Chicago, Illinois, for another paw print. Finally, they come to New York, New York.]
Tweety: Ah, New York, New York. Flying by night through the poconos put us a whole day ahead, Aoogah.
Aoogah: Your internal sense of time is truly infallible, Tweety, but can't we enjoy the sights for once?
Tweety: Mmm, well, I suppose so. Look. There's Times Square.
Aoogah: It looks like the center of the universe.
Tweety: Eh, you might say that.
[Meanwhile, a mysterious figure stands by a group of people as they stop at a crosswalk. Tweety and Aoogah arrive near a hot dog stand where a mascot is giving out hot dogs.]
Tweety: Aoogah, if you were a hot dog, what kind of hot-dog would you be?
[Sylvester takes off his mascot mask, and grabs Aoogah with a mustard squirter.]
Sylvester: A plump, tasty, juicy one, with lots of mustard!
[Tweety snatches Aoogah back and they fly away. Sylvester, in his anger, squirts mustard at the figure, whose jacket gets thrown off, revealing him to be Marvin the Martian in disguise and on stilts. Marvin fires a weapon at Sylvester, then accidentally fires it on himself, only for both of them to get covered in more mustard.]
Marvin the Martian: Oh, drat! You sabotaged my Manhattan Destruction Weapon with an inferior grade of Earth condiment! (walks away)
Sylvester: And I'm a dissatisfied customer. (condiments fall on him) Hold the onions.
[Tweety and Aoogah take the JFK Express. As Sylvester wipes himself clean, he hears Aoogah’s blaring. He gets on the road.]
Sylvester: Got you this time, you little- 
[He gets hit by a cab, bumps off a window, bounces off an awning, and falls into a newspaper stand.]
Sylvester: Jeez, nothin' like gettin' your nose rubbed in it. Oh, there's just gotta be some way of catchin' that bird. (notices something) Huh?
[He sees a sign reading “STOLEN ROYAL PASSPORT STILL MISSING! YOU MORON!”]
Sylvester: (reads report) "Stolen royal passport"? (gets an idea) As Granny might say, aha. 
Paperboy: Stolen royal passport still missing!
[Sylvester steals one and tears off a photo of Tweety.]
Sylvester: Here's where I get to be scintillatingly incandescent and downright smart, too. (laughs maniacally)
[As he enters a 24-Hour Copy building, one hour later, Tweety and Aoogah arrive at the Kennedy Airport in Flushing, Queens.]
Tweety: Oh...2 canaries, one concorde ticket.
Aoogah: Just think, Tweety… In an hour and a half you'll be in London, finished with your global trip a full day early.
Tweety: Yeah, I know.
Aoogah: What's wrong?
Tweety: It's just that I'll be there in no time and down to just one puddy tat to outwit. Where's the stretch?
Aoogah: You mean you want more of a challenge?
Tweety: That's it, Aoogah. Who needs supersonic? We can ride the jet stream back to England instead. After all, we are a full day ahead.
Aoogah: Whoa. Isn't that cutting it close… And risky?
Tweety: Risk is my middle name. How hard can it be? Just look at our success so far. Are you with me?
Aoogah: What do you think?
[He flies over to the stewardess and gives her his ticket.]
Tweety: Give this concorde ticket to somebody that really needs it. I'm flying home the old-fashioned way.
[As the two birds fly off, Sylvester runs over to a security guard.]
Security Guard: Hey, what you got there, pussycat?
[He shows the guard a fake wanted poster of Tweety.]
Security Guard: Holy cow!
[He blows his whistle as he and Sylvester run to the plane.]
Security Guard: Official police business. Official police business.
[The cat finds something yellow.]
Sylvester: Got ya!
[However, it was just a yellow lollipop. Then, he finds another yellow object.]
Sylvester: There ya are!
[Unfortunately, it was actually part of a woman’s hat and she took it back. The passengers get rowdy and throw lots of stuff. The guard stops Sylvester, who chuckles nervously and shows him the wanted poster of Tweety.]
Stewardess: Sorry, lads, you'll have to exit. Time to take off and all that, you know.
[The security guard takes Sylvester back to the airport and leaves.]
Sylvester: Those birds have got to be someplace aboard that stupid supersonic plane.
Stewardess: (offers him a ticket) We do have one extra ticket if you want to come to London that badly, sir.
Sylvester: (takes the ticket) I'm flyin' to London!
[Soon, he looks around in the airplane before seeing the birds flying outside.]
Sylvester: What the--
Tweety: So long, Puddy! See you in London!
[Aoogah lets out a Horn Scream. Sylvester displays his Wanted poster and starts banging on the plane window, screaming.]
Tweety: That's puddy. All noise and no results.
[Aoogah notices the clouds getting darker.]
Aoogah: I don't like the look of those dark clouds, Tweety.
Tweety: They just mean we'll have to flap harder, that's all. There's nothin' I can't do. I have...
Tweety and Aoogah: An infallible inner sense of time. 
[They nod and the wind blows them away.]
Tweety and Aoogah: Whoa!
[Fade to the Looney Club with Rimfire watching the news report on TV while the others play cards.]
Lola Bunny: (on TV) For reasons known only to Tweety, the brave canary has forgone the prearranged concorde passage home and chosen instead to make this final flight leg the hard way.
Colonel Rimfire: Ha! Rather plucky, what?
Lola Bunny: (on TV) Complicating Tweety's trek is this sudden unusually late season Atlantic hurricane.
Granny: Oh?
[She knocks Rimfire off his chair to see the report.]
Granny: Oh, my.
[In the hurricane, Tweety loses his leg brace.]
Tweety: Drat. There goes my electronic transmitter. Try to hold on, Aoogah.
[However, Aoogah and the passport get blown away.]
Tweety: Whoa! Oh, my gosh. Aoogah has flown. Aoogah!
[As he gets blown away, Foghorn and company lose Tweety’s signal.]
Foghorn Leghorn: Tweety's fin--I say, Tweety's finished, boys. His signal's lost. This is it.
[A split-screen shows the chickens and cats singing over Tweety’s loss.]
Chickens: (singing) There ain't no way. 
Cats: (singing) He'll blow a fuse. 
Chickens: (singing) He's going to fail.  
Cats: (singing) He's gonna lose.  
Chickens and Cats: (singing) I'm tellin' you now that Tweety don't stand a chance. 
[Cut to another news report.]
Lola Bunny: (on TV) The planet's next crazy global long shot, millionaire entrepreneur Mitch Hansen is rolling around the world in a wooden barrel, starting right this minute.
Cats: (singing) It's the chance, he's gotta take it. 
Chickens: (singing) We say he'll never make it.
Cats: (singing) 'Cause no one's ever done it all the way.
Chickens and Cats: (singing) Ride a barrel 'round the world in 80 days!
Henery Hawk and Casino Cat: Just business.
[Back with Tweety, he’s trying to look for Aoogah in the Atlantic hurricane.]
Tweety: Aoogah! Oh, my gosh! This can't be! I always come out ahead. Maybe because I always care about that the most. Well, there's only one thing that matters to me now. (sings) You can win every race you ever run in. You can take home every prize, have a meteoric rise to the top of the world and when you get there, you'll be there by yourself with just a trophy on your shelf. The best thing you can win is a friend. Someone who can guide you, be there right beside you. Hand in hand until the bitter end. The only thing worth winning is a friend. (several trophies appear in the hurricane) You can fight to get the gold and silver medals. You can smile and hold them up. Win the golden victory cup and someday when you're all alone you'll see that trophies lose their glow and that's when you will know the best thing you can win is a friend. When those medals start to rust and your memories turn to dust, who'll be there beside you in the end? Who cares about the race?  Who cares about first place? The only thing worth winning… is a friend.
[An Acme anvil drops down and crashes into the trophies, sending them falling.]
Tweety: Now that's product placement.
[He sees the eye of the storm, showing a lone island.]
Tweety: Oh, the eye of the hurricane. Why couldn't Aoogah have held on till we got here? Now it's too late. I'm in the eye, yet I'll never see my friend again. How's that for irony?
[Suddenly, a loud AWOOGA blares out.]
Tweety: Huh?
[He hears the sound coming from the island.]
Tweety: Hold that thought!
[He flies down to the island and sees Aoogah floating down the water while on the passport.]
Aoogah: Your passport, it floats.
Tweety drags them both to dry land and Aoogah coughs out seaweed.
Tweety: Well, there's your problem! Uh, thanks for saving my passport. Are you always such a kind, caring person, Aoogah?
Tweety: Hold that thought!
[He zooms straight to an island and sees Aoogah floating down the water while on the passport.]
Aoogah: Your passport, it floats.
[Tweety drags them both to dry land and Aoogah coughs out seaweed.]
Tweety: Well, there's your problem! Uh, thanks for saving my passport. Are you always such a kind, caring person, Aoogah?
Aoogah: When I have the time.
[Then, the two find themselves surrounded by wild cats.]
Aoogah: What do we do now?
Tweety: Oh, wait about 20 more seconds.
[The hurricane comes in and sweeps the wild cats away.]
Tweety: Straight up, the only way to fly!
[They fly up to the eye of the storm to escape. Much later, they’re approaching England.]
Tweety: Brrr! Come on, that's got to be the English coast up ahead.
[They arrive at a pub on the English coat and go inside.]
Tweety: Hello! Well, guess there's nobody– (gets grabbed) hey!
[Tweety gets captured by the Shropshire Slasher.]
Shropshire Slasher: That's a good little birdie. (grabs the royal passport) I've been followin' you all over the bloomin' planet just so I could have your special passport for my collection. Got any problem with that, do ya? (Tweety gulps in fear) Ha ha ha!
[Aoogah lets out a loud AWOOGA to make the thug let go of Tweety. The yellow canary then takes the passport.]
Shropshire Slasher: Hey! Nobody puts one over on me!
[Just then, a whistle is heard, and he quickly hides as Sylvester and the cops enter the restaurant. The cat shows them the fake WANTED poster of Tweety.]
Constable: Here's the culprit.
[They put handcuffs on Tweety’s head.]
Tweety: What, me?
Constable: You, Tweety, are under arrest for stealing the missing royal passport.
Tweety: This delay kills the last chance I had of making London in time to win for Granny.
Aoogah: Wait! Look!
[She sees Sylvester holding the royal passport.]
Aoogah: I'll take that.
[She grabs it from him and brings it to the constable.]
Constable: Hello. What's this? What's this? (reads note inside) "By special appointment to Tweety and the Looney Club by her royal majesty." Here, remove those cuffs. Tweety is no thief. (as the cuffs are removed from Tweety) Your papers are genuine, old boy. Sorry we ever doubted you. It was just that cat, you see.
Sylvester: (chuckles nervously) Huh?
[They look at the passport to see it’s from the Duke of Edinburgh.]
Constable: Blimey! This belongs to the Duke of Edinburgh!
[The cops proceed to chain and cuff Sylvester.]
Constable: You're under arrest for stealing a missing royal passport. 
[They throw the cat in the police truck.]
Constable: Take him to Scotland Yard.
[The jail truck drives off and the birds see the arrow pointing to London.]
Tweety: Now that it doesn't matter, I can tell you– I think I've lost my infallible sense of time.
Aoogah: Oh, Tweety.
[As the birds fly off, the Shropshire Slasher bemoans his loss while eating fish and chips.]
Shropshire Slasher: It would've been the second royal passport I ever stole. I should've never put 'em both in the same pocket where I keep my fish and chips. Went and caused 'em to stick, it did. Course, it would've aided me greatly to have properly learned my left from my right, too.
[Fade to London on December 22nd. One day too late. Tweety and Aoogah hear the Big Ben’s bell ringing.]
Tweety: Aw… I blew it, Awooga.
Aoogah: Oh...it's not the worst thing in the world.
Tweety: I let Granny down. We lost so much time in that hurricane, and then on the island, those wild cats, that snowstorm, being falsely accused and arrested… It was all too much to control.
Aoogah: Tweety… control is an illusion.
Tweety: But I had it made, Awooga. I was one day ahead in New York.
[Aoogah notices something and gasps.]
Tweety: I should have taken the concorde. I could've been a contender.
[Aoogah lets out a loud AWOOGA to get Tweety’s attention. Tweety notices the date on the newspaper reads “DECEMBER 21st.”]
Tweety: Holy smoke! You mean that subtitle was wrong?
Aoogah: (nods) Mm-hmm.
Tweety: Tch, tch, tch. You just can't get good help hiring freelance.
[He pulls down a graph to explain about the international date line.]
Tweety: You see, we picked up a day crossing the international date line here but then thought we lost it in the hurricane here. But I lost my infallible inner sense of time here, too. What kept me on track after that?
Aoogah: Tweety, don't you have someplace to be right now?
Tweety: Oh, my gosh!
[Cut to the Looney Club with the text now reading “DECEMBER 21st. LATER.” Inside, Granny is pacing around in worry for Tweety.]
Colonel Rimfire: You know, Granny, 'tisn't easy admitting defeat. You should have heard my sage wisdom before you made this foolhardy wager.
[Then, she hears tweeting.]
Granny: Can it be? It is! Tweety!
Colonel Rimfire: What?!
[The others cheer as Tweety and Aoogah arrive in the building. They show Rimfire the passport full of paw prints.]
Colonel Rimfire: Hmph! This is most unexpected. Hmph! Let's see… France and Italy, check and check.
Granny: (refers to Aoogah) So this is your new friend, eh, Tweety?
Little Kids: Birdy! Birdy!
Colonel Rimfire: Hold it! Just a minute! This document is incomplete! There are but 79 feline impressions in here!
Tweety: Huh? Oh, my gosh! I forgot Sylvester!
[He grabs the passport and flies off to the police truck that’s carrying Sylvester.]
Sylvester: (offscreen) Hey, cut it out! That tickles!
[He returns with Sylvester’s paw print stamped in the passport.]
Tweety: Pawprint number 80!
Colonel Rimfire: Oh… balderdash! All right, all right! Blast it! You win!
Granny: (tears the closing sign in half) The park and my Nash hubcaps are saved!
[As the kids cheer, one of the club members pulls his mask to reveal he’s actually Cool Cat.]
Cool Cat: Confidentially, my sympathy was, like, with the bird.
[Tweety holds Aoogah’s hand and bows down as the scene transitions to the royal throne room. Queen Elizabeth II knights Tweety.]
Queen Elizabeth II: (offscreen) I dub thee Sir Tweety for helping recover the stolen royal passport.
Tweety: Thank you. (grins in joy)
Aoogah: (to the viewers) I also have an infallible inner sense of time, but why spoil it for him?
[The iris closes on Aoogah, then opens to Sylvester sobbing in the police truck before closing out to black. Roll credits.]
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