Goblin

Among the most common and weakest of all Monsters, Goblins are also one of the relatively small number of such creatures to possess a true culture of their own. Goblins are the most common form of the broader Goblinoid Subtype, and also generally the smallest, with a height of close to three feet being the norm and exceptionally tall individuals pushing four. Goblins possess a high metabolism that makes them energetic but hungry, though exceptions who are more lethargic (and less ravenous) do exist. Goblins are among the most diversified of Monster species, with a host of regularly occurring and true-breeding mutations. Further, as part of the broader Goblinoid family, and among its weakest members, they can sometimes mutate into other types of Goblins or Goblinoids based on exposure to external Mana and materials or extreme personal growth. They can also spontaneously give birth to other, more powerful types of Goblinoids, including the Human-sized Hobgoblin, and the larger Bugbear.
Goblins are extremely widespread, being found on every continent in some form or fashion. In most places, they have a similar origin myth, perpetuated by the Goblins themselves as readily as by the Races of Man.
== Appearance ==
Goblin appearances vary tremendously from one subspecies to another, with some appearing almost like small, horned Humans or Halflings, to others appearing more like Small green Ogres with massive, leaf-like ears, to still others sporting long, prehensile tails and yet others with skin seemingly made of stone. However, certain features are common across all species of Goblins. Firstly, they are all short, with heights on the low end being just short of three feet tall, and on the high end at nearly four feet. They are marked by their sharp teeth and ability to open their mouths extremely wide (something which is not always apparent from their normal behavior). They have pointed ears, unlike Halflings, and can sometimes be mistaken for Elflings for this reason. All Goblins possess horns, though the exact size varies among subspecies and individuals, with the smallest being simple cranial nubs and the largest being awkward for the Monster's movement and uncomfortably heavy. These horns can be removed but will grow back over time.
Goblin skin color varies from subspecies to subspecies. Bumblins, for example, tend to have skin tones close to those of the local populations of Men. Saplins, however, are usually some shade of green or brown, while Blues live up to their name, being various shades of blue in skin, hair, and eye color. Some Goblins develop skin tones that resemble other Monsters in the region, possibly due to interbreeding, resulting in some that look like tiny Oni or Ogres.
Goblins naturally tend towards lean physiques, but are ravenous and place a great deal of importance on size, so they will attempt to eat themselves fat given the opportunity. Some subspecies tend to be more plump than others, often indicating a slower metabolism and less energetic lifestyle. These individuals tend to eat less, reproduce more slowly, and are more likely to be adapted to human society. They also usually enjoy longer life expectancies.
== Origin ==
The exact origins of Goblins are uncertain. Their wide distribution and extreme antiquity make it difficult to discern precisely when or where they first appeared. Further complicating matters is that there are a multitude of different versions of their purported origin story, including variations even among their own telling. The setting varies, the races of the main figures, and the finer details vary. However, certain commonalities persist. In being attentive to these, a basic narrative appears.
Once upon a time there was a handsome layabout and wastrel of a farmer. He had inherited his land, but it was of poor quality; full of stones that would break plow and back alike, fit to grow nothing but weeds. He was the youngest son of his father, and seen as a good-for-nothing, and so had been given apportioned lands that his father believed would suit him; worthless. But just as his land was barren, his young wife was fertile, and so he soon found himself with mouths to feed. A beggar and a borrower was he, first from his kin, then from his friends, and finally from the folk of the village he called home, for while he was a useless farmer, he had his looks and he had his charm. And, while the other menfolk were at work in their fields, he also had his way with their wives and sisters and daughters, for there was at least one sort of "field" he was eager to plow. And for this dutiful service he would often find himself gifted with things to better care for his home and his children. Certainly, the men of the village saw no reason as to why the ladies so favored him, or why they would so happily encourage their husbands to let him borrow this or that. They merely saw him as lazy, and thought his earnest, hardworking wife and children wasted on him. Especially his children, who would come to play with their own, who watched their work in the fields and the hunting and the fishing and all of their labors and would offer help. And who would be made to beg, ever hungry, for there were many of them and little food to be had in the wastrel's impoverished home. 
Some years passed in this manner, with the good will of the village men enduring for the wastrel's beleaguered wife and army of children, but ever waning for the wastrel himself. Often they would complain of him, speak ill of him, and wonder just how his looks alone could so turn the women to his side. And so, when a stranger with the airs of knowledge and nobility about him came into village and began asking who was the least valuable person in the village, to a man they all named the wastrel and directed him to his rocky plot. The stranger found the wastrel at home for once rather than in the arms of a woman and spoke to him at length. The noble, it seemed, knew of a magic spell that might make the wastrel's lands fertile, arable, and wished to buy the products of the wastrel's efforts if it worked. If the wastrel agreed, he would cast the magic on his lands, and ten years hence would return to claim to buy up all of the fruit of the wastrel's labors that remained. Should the spell not perform, and he enjoy no prosperity in that time, then the stranger would leave it at that and their agreement would be null and void. The wastrel saw no reason not to take up the offer, and so the stranger cast his great enchantment. 
The stones in the soil rose up from the earth and rolled away into fine fencing of their own accord. The fields tilled themselves, great furrows forming in perfect rows, and the soil darkened, rich and moist and free of weeds. Looking upon his work, the stranger smiled and took his leave, promising to return in ten years. The wastrel, meanwhile, called up his family. He set his many children to planting, guiding them in the methods, for while he was a layabout he knew the techniques of his father and his father's father before him. He understood the craft and the worth his land now held, and soon enough the crop was sown. It grew swift and tall and strong, and bird and beast shied from it, for the stranger's magic protected the fields. The harvest that year was wondrous, his fields producing more than any other in all the village. And the year after his land yielded even more. And more again each year after. He planted new crops, grew a fine orchard and vineyard, and always the crops grew up swift and strong and produced, until he and his had gone from being the poorest in the village into the wealthiest. 
Now the wastrel was not an ingrate, and while he had heard the grousing of the men in town, he bore no grudge, but shared the prosperity he had received. He paid back the debts he owed in full and offered gifts of gratitude besides, though he remembered his bargain with the stranger and ever set aside a portion of the harvests for the time when he must pay this final debt. The people of the town came to forgive him, for though he'd been a burden for so long, he repaid their kindness, and when he came around to borrow something from the people of the village, it was taken as jest and thought of little save by the satisfied womenfolk. 
Ten years passed, and as promised the stranger returned to claim his due. He found the people of the village proud of the wastrel now, his family larger still and yet growing, but now with food aplenty for them all. The stranger was pleased at this, and found the wastrel viewing his fields with pride. The wastrel, seeing the stranger, was more than happy to sell, nay give, all that he had saved for the stranger. And he had saved much. A great storehouse he'd had built, filled from wall to wall with casks of fine wines and heady meads and crates and barrels of preserved food and fine seed. But the stranger looked at and was not pleased. "There is nothing," he said. At this the wastrel was confused, hurt. He had long saved the products of his farm, sown and tended and harvested by his kin. It was their work, produced together. 
"Indeed it is. It is their work, and yet you lifted not a finger." And as the stranger spoke those words, his countenance shifted to reveal the face not of a man, but of the Fey Folk, fair and regal and angry. "The fruits of your labors are piled not in this storehouse. They lie elsewhere. I shall have none of this as my recompense, though I shall take it as the gift you offered, and again until your debt is repaid. But I shall take the products of your own efforts, too." 
And with that, the stranger raised his hand, and the ground shook and split open, and a great cave appeared in the wilderness just beyond the wastrel's fields. A mist, thick and grey, poured from the cave across his fields, and his home, and the lands of his kin and neighbors, until the village and every farm nearby was blanketed in it and none could see or hear. The fog vanished as suddenly as it came, and with it the stranger, leaving the wastrel alone in his now empty storehouse. Confused, he returned to his home... which was also empty. 
His children were gone. His wife, heavy with their youngest, was nowhere to be found. Panicked, he could find them nowhere, and so raced to the village... only to hear the sounds of wailing. 
They were gone. 
Not just at his home, but in every home, the children had been taken. Every child in the village. 
But I shall take the products of your own efforts, too. 
There was, in the end, only one sort of "work" the wastrel applied himself to. One task at which he excelled. His hard work had filled the village with his "fruit." And no one else's. 
When the husbands and wives of the village found the wastrel, knowing full well of the bargain he'd made and when, they demanded answers. 
Here, the stories diverge. In some tellings, the villagers found the wastrel and he spoke truthfully, and he met a swift and unpleasant end shortly thereafter. In other versions, he fled, often into the cave in search of his stolen children and wife. In others he was chased into the cave and vanished. In still others he fled the village and was never seen or heard from again, or killed himself rather than face the anger of the people he'd wronged. Some even say that the villagers, having accepted the produce of the wastrel's Fey fields, were bound to his bargain and forced to provide a great bounty to the Fey once every ten years or lose their children as they once did. Regardless, the fate of the taken children is the same; twisted by the Fey to be laborers, to do the work of the Fey and make mischief as children do on Men, they became the first of the Goblins and their kin. 
Fairy tales aside, Goblins do hold a connection to the Fey, with some types of Goblins being truly Fey and not Monstrous Humanoids. And while they certainly made mischief, Man came to see them as Monsters, eventually causing them to become such. 
== Historical Role ==
Goblins traditionally filled a role as cannon fodder. They're light infantry, saboteurs, and thieves, but also capable laborers, farmers, craftsmen, slaves, and tradesmen. They breed quickly and learn quickly, though they're frail by Monster standards and prone to mishaps, making them ideal as unpredictable threats and group attackers. They swarm, inflicting deaths of a thousand cuts on their foes... or getting mowed down, sacrificing their lives to weaken and stall more powerful opponents. 
== Culture ==
Goblins are one of a relatively small number of Monsters who, for the entirety of their existence, held full sentience. This characteristic extends to all of the Goblinoids, who are ultimately part of the same extended family... quite possibly literally. This has allowed them, over their long existence, to establish their own cultural identities, their own distinct roles within the broader Goblinoid society. This culture grows, develops, and changes, and because of the tendency of Goblins to scrounge and scavenge from the refuse of the Races of Man, it often incorporates elements of those same Mannish cultures, becoming regionally distinct as well. Despite this separation, Goblins rarely clash with one another significantly, viewing each other as distant kin rather than rivals.
Goblin society at its heart is based around the concepts of family and tribe; each Goblin is born to a particular tribe, sometimes known as a clan, which has its own symbols, its own name, and its own colors, which are usually exclusive to a region. Tribes avoid wearing the colors of their neighbors, as they tend to take pride in identifying with their own. These tribes are extended families that can reach the size of small armies if not culled by natural hazards, wild animals, Beasts, violence, or their own careless antics, as Goblins breed quickly and prolifically. Especially those far-removed from human civilization. However, they also normally experience short lifespans; they can live to around fifty years, but few live longer than twenty in the wild, and most die quite a bit younger than that. Goblins are not known for being especially careful or cautious and are prone to accidents and poor decisions that tend to cut their lives short and are not usually strong enough on their own to survive against serious threats without overwhelming numbers... which inevitably results in attrition without skilled leadership. Goblin tribes are normally close-knit but may develop political factions that can lead to contentious rivalries and brawling, though serious harm from this is rare. Disputes over food, prime living spaces, and mates are the most common causes of such conflicts.
Goblin tribes normally function as largely self-sufficient communities. Most Goblins farm, fish, and forage, and hunt. They also engage in trade with each other, other Monsters, and Men when they're able. However, they're best known among the Races of Men for picking through dumps and abandoned locations for anything of potential value, which they then either repurpose, modify, salvage, or resell. They have a reputation for gathering maniacal inventions akin to Lab Rats, but usually with less explosive or toxic mishaps... though they do have a well-deserved reputation for setting things alight, as they both fear and revere fire and love to watch things burn with a nearly-pyromaniac fascination.
Goblins place a tremendous amount of importance on size. Be it height, weight, endowments, or pregnancy, the larger a Goblin is, the higher their social status. This means that larger Goblinoids, like Hobgoblins and Bugbears, hold a sort of "noble status" among Goblins and can easily dominate the leadership of a tribe or clan, even if they provide nothing of substance to the community. It's thought that this behavior may have grown out of an older patriarchal or matriarchal system wherein the tribe's leader(s) were the forebears of the majority of the tribe, which then evolved to a gerontocratic model due to high mortality, and eventually to a matter of size, as larger Goblins tend to live longer than smaller ones... and have more power to win brawls. Certainly, these older models can be seen manifesting in Goblin culture, as Goblins traditionally defer to their elders out of respect, even when slightly larger than those elders, and especially to their parents and grandparents. 
Beyond this, Goblins also put great importance on spiritual matters, particularly where they involve communing with their ancestors, avoiding angering the Fey or Gaea, and finding an afterlife of ease, pleasure, and plenty. 
Goblins value hard work, natural talent, and copious amounts of play. They can often seem juvenile in this, being prone to crude and perverted jokes and games, pranks, and displays. They almost universally find flatulence and burping to be hilarious, as well as various other bodily noises. Competitions are common. Goblins often experience a sort of childish glee at simple pleasures and humor, and while they can be a bit morbid at times, they place a great deal of importance on simply enjoying life as it comes, perhaps because of the likelihood that they will die young. 
=== Language ===
Goblinoids have their own language, distinct from any other extant language and likely a product of merging elements of existing languages. It shares a superficial similarity to Koine, itself a pidgin language derived from the one primarily used by the Olympians, but includes elements associated with Elvish forms and some loanwords from the guttural Orcish, softened somewhat to fit the rest of the tongue... which actually results in mispronouncing most of them to the point of nearly being unintelligible. Furthermore, it contains significant elements and vocabulary of both Aklo and Sylvan, which are much better pronounced. Likewise, the written form of the language uses characters from both of these latter two languages for the majority of its text, with other symbols being rarely employed. Goblins are prone to making the flowing characters of their writings much more crudely and linearly than they are normally seen, making identifying them difficult to the untrained eye, but they remain the same... and Goblins with significant artistic talent are quite capable of forming, and carving, the language accurately.
=== Religion ===
Goblins usually revere the Overlord as a semi-divine figure, the Goblin Mother (who is understood to be the wife of the wastrel from their origin myth and their mother goddess figure and fertility deity), the Spirit of Fire (understood to manifest in fire and fire elementals and often thought of as the wastrel or Father), Gaea as the embodiment of nature, source of food, water, dwellings, all of their needs, and the Fey... mostly out of fear in this last case.
Goblin religious teachings are usually administered through a village Shaman, Druid, or Adept. Clerics are rare among Goblins, but Oracles and Favored Souls aren't unheard of. These figures offer guidance, blessings of fertility and good hunts and harvests, consecrations of new homes and burial mounds, oversee ceremonies and holidays, and serve as liaisons between the Goblins and the much feared Fey. As such, they wield outsized influence over a tribe and frequently serve as de facto leaders when the Chieftain is indisposed. Such figures are traditionally female, but not always. Talented males are accepted to the ranks just as readily as females are.
=== Governance ===
Goblins normally organize around a Chieftain, who is usually the largest member of the group, or the forebear of the largest number of the tribe's members. This chieftain is usually advised by other large Goblins and the tribe's religious leader or leaders. It isn't uncommon for these figures to be family, mates, or both. When a Chieftain happens to become a Demon Lord or Demon King, they're usually referred to as a Goblin King. Goblins are often semi-nomadic, traveling from one location to another in pursuit of game and forage, and frequently wintering in stable locations where they can hoard food. The Chieftains manage these movements, as well as organize hunts (though they seldom lead them) as well as any military actions that need to be carried out, whether against Beasts, other Monsters, or Men. Goblins in the modern era tend to avoid conflict but will defend their territories fiercely if they perceive invaders to be a threat.
Goblin government is usually very freeform, and while they do normally have a Chieftain, in practice most Goblins will just do as they please so long as they don't upset the tribe. Discipline isn't normally something Goblins do well, so a Chieftain who happens to be a little scrawny may have trouble managing his or her followers. Goblins can also be surprisingly democratic at times; it's actually quite common for Goblins to simply shout out their suggestions, complaints, and requests at tribal meetings pertaining to important topics. This can be quite chaotic, but it can also rapidly spread new ideas and courses of action to the tribe. Few Chieftains will oppose the will of their tribe.
Goblins are neither matriarchal nor patriarchal, so Chieftains may be of either sex.
=== Art ===
Goblin art is usually simplistic artistically, with subject matter mostly consisting of images of food, sex, the figures of animals, plants (especially trees and vines), Monsters, and Men, family and tribal histories, stories, and myths, and warnings to one another and outsiders. Their works are reminiscent of Paleolithic cave paintings, but with a greater understanding of depth and the use of layered paints and carvings to create increased subtlety. They frequently use their hands in painting, as well as carved sticks, fronds, and branches, and stone and stolen metal tools for carving wood and rock. They frequently incorporate the bones of their meals, and of those they’ve slain, into art installations that serve as navigation markers and warning signs, and many wear or carry decorated bones as trophies.
Their carvings resemble those associated with the ancient populations of the Five Jewels, including hash-marks, twisting labyrinths, tree symbols, and triskeles and triskelion symbols, which tie into a mythic triad in their religion centered on the Mother, Father, and Child. The Fey are never directly depicted, instead being represented by symbols associated with their elements, seasons, or properties due to a cultural taboo.
=== Music ===
Goblin music likely has its origins in children's play and was tempered by military service. It's heavy on percussion and woodwind, with instruments being relatively simple; straightforward drums made of hollowed gourds or wooden frames and taught animal skins, flutes, ocarinas, and pan pipes. The stamping of feet serve as an instrument as well, as do humming, ululation, and wordless throat-singing. Some have even begun to employ elements of beatboxing after having been introduced to the practice by a Wayfarer decades ago.
Songs tend to be repetitive, looping specific note sequences with minor changes that slowly shift the whole song, as if constantly growing and changing. However, while Goblins do have a repertoire of traditional music for ceremonial and religious purposes, they are far more likely to adopt a freeform, jam-session type of performance when gathered. Music is a form of celebration for them, and Goblins are seldom disciplined, let alone while partying.
=== Dance ===
Goblin dance is wild and full of gyrations, stamping feet, hopping, and shaking. There are no specific steps. Instead, it tends have an ecstatic nature, but serves a twofold purpose; to move in time to and appreciate the rhythm, and to advertise to and try to entice prospective mates. As such, and due to Goblin standards of beauty, the movements of these dances are large, bombastic, and exaggerated rather than subtle or graceful. They want to make themselves bounce and jiggle, to show off muscle and fat and make themselves seem larger, and thus more attractive, than they are. They will flex, slap themselves to set asses and breasts and bellies jiggling, stroke themselves to erection, air thrust, twerk, spread themselves, grind on desired partners, masturbate openly, and copulate when able. Goblins dancing are effectively asking to have sex and are usually making it an open invite, especially when not engaging in ceremonial or ritual dances. They frequently dance naked or nearly so when simply enjoying themselves. It's quite common for such dances to turn into orgies quickly. More domestic Goblins tend to eschew such activities when around Men... but still usually enjoy them and are often quite open to them when around Men who are accepting of such things.
Goblin ceremonial dances tend to involve coordinated specific sequences of stomps performed in lines.
=== Poetry ===
Goblin poetry is usually bawdy and sing-song, with simple, childish rhymes. They often center on food and sex, and occasionally on battles, though this is usually associated with older poems.
=== Games ===
Goblins tend to favor ball games, games of chance and dares, lewd games, and relatively simple strategy games that can be played in soft soil. They also engage in surprisingly complex word games, especially involving syllable matching, synonyms, and antonyms.
=== Customs and Traditions ===
Goblins have a number of notable traditions and customs, some of which are associated only with certain mutations of the species.
==== Dogslicers and Horsechoppers ====
Goblins have a coming-of-age tradition wherein young Goblins construct their own Dogslicer (a sort of machete), Horsechopper, (a halberd) or both, from materials they've scavenged, gathered, or been gifted. Each of these weapons is unique to the maker and wielder, and once completed they are judged by the Chieftain and blessed by the tribe's faith leader. Young Goblins take great pride in their creations, with skilled and crafty ones creating impressive works from makeshift materials... though many are ultimately unimpressive works, in truth. Regardless, they are made to be the Goblin's companions and protectors, and few go anywhere without them, as they represent the creator themselves.
The haphazard nature of these weapons means that these first constructions often break, but in repairing and rebuilding them, Goblins see their own growth and development in the face of hardship and danger; broken, but returned stronger than before. Goblins always strive to build back these same weapons, to reinforce and improve them, to the point that should they become lost, many Goblins set out on quests to recover them.
==== Goblin Bog ====
A common drink, or perhaps drinks, made primarily from fermented Goblin Squash, water, and whatever other ingredients happened to be lying around, this potent beverage is notoriously difficult to stomach for non-Goblins, who are effectively raised on the stuff. The name comes from the brownish color the naturally pink flesh of the Goblin Squash changes to as it ferments and the tendency for the odd ingredients haphazardly during the process to float, giving the impression of islands in a brown bog. That more Goblins don't die from consuming this is one of Gaea's great mysteries. The quality and flavor of this "drink" are always dubious and highly variable, but it's still a popular product among Goblin tribes. Virtually no one else will drink it.
==== Saplin Goblin Squash Traditions ====
Saplins have an odd relationship with the Goblin Squash, as it serves as one of their staple foods, but has an uncanny resemblance to their own heads. There are various myths pertaining to the relationship between the green-skinned Goblin subspecies and these vaguely watermelon-like gourds, some of which were described above. However, Saplins have their own traditions and practices related to them, some of which seem to either echo those mythos or be the source of the legends. These include, among other things, digging holes around where they've planted squash seeds and burying themselves nearby when the gourds ripen as part of a fertility ritual in which the females fellate males harvesting the gourds or offer their exposed backsides hidden by the plant's broad leaves.
Others include carving Goblin faces onto the empty gourds, carving them into fearsome masks, and shaping ones with unusual sizes into male sex toys by carving holes into them while the soft, pink flesh is left inside.
Saplins have an entire festival devoted just to the gourd itself, carried out during the last harvest of the season, which includes Saplins tying themselves together with the dying vines of the plant in an orgiastic ritual that seeks to spill as much seed and sexual fluid as possible onto the growing fields in hopes of a bountiful harvest the following year. The same vines are then used to make wreaths, baskets, and adornments, and are usually included in ritual attire for the tribe's Shamans and Druids.
==== Chillin Ice Scultures ====
Chillins are known to place great value on ice sculptures, and are quite good at it even by the standards of the Races of Man. Chillins try to carve massive works when they can, taking great pride in the size and detail of their creations, with especially impressive works being spoken of for generations.
==== Bumblin Fireworks ====
Bumblins are known for their love of large, flashy fireworks, but almost all of them know enough to make even a few small ones, including small party poppers and bang snaps, firecrackers, and other small novelty fireworks. They place a great deal of importance on teaching their children the basics of alchemy and in sharing their breakthroughs, spreading the knowledge through the tribe. They will use nearly any excuse they can think of to show off their creations, which they take great pride in.
==== Monkey Goblins and Martial Arts ====
==== Kindlin Fire-Spitting and Lick-Wick Dances ====
==== Sparklin Storm-Riding ====
==== Fire Dances ====
Goblins have a profound fascination with fire, a particular love of it, that tends to inspire them to song and dance. Because of this, it's customary that whenever a Goblin lights a campfire, bonfire, or other blaze more significant than a torch, for other Goblins present to offer up at least a small dance and a short song. However, when combined with other reasons for celebration, these fire dances can become truly impressive events, with the entire tribe joining in and cavorting about the blaze. There is no set length for these dances or requirement for musical accompaniment, but they do tend to become events to that effect.
==== Mate-Taking ====
Goblins, especially "wild" ones, tend to have a custom of claiming ownership over Men that they manage to capture alive during battle or raids. These individuals are understood to be husbands or wives to the captor in Goblin society and are off-limits to other Goblins in the tribe unless the captor offers them. This is, of course, kidnapping and rape, but to Goblins it's completely unremarkable. Some tribes extend this to other Monsters as well, but this is relatively rare. "Domestic" Goblins rarely follow this custom, but most retain an element of it; if they can beat someone in a fight, they generally consider that person "theirs" to use sexually. Especially if they're single, but sometimes even when they aren't.
==== Blue Name-Knowing and Stone Keeping ====
Blues, a Psionic mutation of the normal Goblin, frequently know their own names prior to birth, and impart the meaning of the name to their mothers prior to being born. In this way, they're said to name themselves... or to be named by fate. They are also known for collecting gems of various types and using them as meditation aids even when they possess no special properties; they use the stones as a tool to direct their attention and focus.
==== Festivals ====
Goblins will celebrate almost anything noteworthy in life. Births, pregnancies, great hunts, victories in battle, anniversaries of important events (though usually not on the precise date), celestial events, the solstices and equinoxes, the changing of the seasons, spontaneous mutations, good hauls in scavenging or foraging, the return of long absent kin, etc... Really, Goblins just want excuses to light big fires, dance, fuck and, if they can get away with it, gorge on as much food as they can get their grubby little hands on. As such, Goblins tend to have a lot of festivals and parties, and a lot of subsequent party babies. This also tends to cause their food supplies to operate in semi-predictable boom-and-bust cycles.
Goblins tend to make bonfires the centerpiece of these events, and outside of harsh winter months will bring out whatever food they can get ahold of. These festivals usually last no more than a single night, but it's usually a sleepless one.
=== Myths, Legends, and Storytelling ===
==== How the Kindlin Stole Fire from Man ====
This story tells of a hungry Goblin who would sneak into the homes of Human villagers to pilfer their pantries. Much of the story revolves around all the wonderful food he eats, which varies from telling to telling. However, this all changes when he finds a small, wrinkled, red berry unlike any he'd seen before... which he promptly pops into his mouth. The berry, however, is terrifyingly hot and has him screaming as he runs round the house, waking the whole village. Angry Men give chase, but he can think only of quenching the flames with something cooler... ultimately swallowing the sacred bonfire in the center of the village. Having swallowed the flames, the burning sensation in his mouth has lessened and he manages to escape, fire trailing from his lips as he flees the confounded mob.
==== The Maudlin's Mirth ====
The story of a Goblin whose raucous laughter irritated a powerful Fey, who robbed her of her humor with a terrible curse, so that she could only laugh at misfortune. After this incident, the story focuses on the Maudlin's attempts to win back her mirth by making the Fey laugh, but as she now only finds humor in suffering and curses, the Fey remains unmoved save to laugh at the Maudlin herself. This is an unusually dark tale, likely meant to warn Goblins to be on guard around the Fey as much as it is to explain the origins of the Maudlin mutation.
==== Goblin Finds a Steed ====
A somewhat cruel tale that is one of the few that mentions the cultural dislike Goblins have of dogs and horses, it focuses on a Goblin who envies the swift and powerful steeds of Men and sets out to find his own. Unlike in the story of the Saplin and Brother Wolf, the Goblin has no luck with wolves, and instead finds a very, very large and friendly rat, which he proceeds to wrangle, shave, stretch the legs of, and then saddle and use as a steed. The processes of this transformation are rather cruel to the rat, but despite this it carries through with little complaint. The tale is usually told in a humorous manner.
==== The Saplin and Brother Wolf ====
This story revolves around a newborn Saplin whose parents are slain by Humans and is taken in by a mother wolf with the rest of her cubs. The Saplin grows up with the wolves and learns their secret language, and eventually returns with her pack to drive away Humans who are attacking her parents' tribe. She discovers that she belongs with the tribe, but the wolves remain with them, explaining the origin of the connection between Saplins and wolves. It's worth mentioning that the most bawdy versions of this story involve the Saplin engaging in bestiality with her wolf mount. Curiously, this version is usually not told by Saplins, who find it offensive. It's actually quite rare for Monsters to find an association with sexual activity to be offensive at all, even of this sort, making this a somewhat notable tale in and of itself.
==== Saplins on the Vine ====
One of two origin stories for the Goblin Squash plant. Sort of. Unlike in the other tale, where Saplins existed first, this tale claims that the first Goblin Squash grew when a great Goblin chieftain masturbated into a gourd while campaigning away from any females, and that, when he returned to the place where he'd cast aside the gourd, Goblin Squash now grew... which he treated just as he had the previous gourd. When he returned again, Saplins now grew on the vines, which he then used. This process sometimes has additional phases, but ultimately ends with adult Saplins following the Chief home. It is important to note that Saplins do not grow on vines, despite their green skin tone.
==== Chillin in the Snow Palace ====
This story revolves around a Goblin who finds herself as a servant to an Ice Queen in her quest to see the wonders of the glittering Snow Palace. Toiling away for the benefit of the Fey, she works and works to keep warm, but the bitter cold slowly drains her. As the cold drains the life from her, the Ice Queen finds a moment of compassion for her ceaseless service and revives her, but changed to be one with the cold.
==== Sons of Stone ====
A tale revolving around how the first Norkers were created, supposedly by Goblins carving stone likenesses of the sturdy warriors they wished to be... only to have those statues magically come to life as protectors of the tribe.
==== Fire Flowers in the Night Sky ====
This story tells of how Bumblins first learned of fireworks in Fusang and became obsessed with them, studying Alchemy in secret from hiding places in the workshop of a Human Alchemist. It's an unusual story, as the Bumblins take on a role similar to Brownies, helping the Alchemist in secret as they study his books and help keep the overworked man's lab and shop in good condition while he sleeps. There is no conflict between Man and Monster in this story, though there are mishaps and near-discoveries of the Goblins. It's strongly implied that the Human becomes aware of their presence, and what they are, but simply accepts them due to a shared love of fireworks bursting in the night.
==== The Goblin and the Mirror ====
==== The Goblin Merchant ====
==== Littlest Oni and Bakemono ====
A tale from Zipangu that tells the story of a Half-Oni Kindlin who's cast out from the Oni for his tiny size, but goes on to become a leader of a tribe Bakemono Goblins after many hardships and eventually unites the Oni and Goblins after showing the former how to escape from a human army.
==== How Monkey Goblin Got his Tail ====
An unusual story from Jambudvipa in which a Goblin falls in with a troupe of monkeys on Hanuman's mountain and so impresses and amuses the Monkey King with his antics that he grants him honorary status as a monkey and a tail of his own.
==== Eager and Ready ====
Unusual among Goblin stories, which are often childish and whimsical, Eager and Ready is a saga of battle and heroism that follows the first Dogslicer, Eager, and the first Horsechopper, Ready, rather than any particular wielder. As such, it's somewhat episodic; the first tale in the narrative describes how a great Goblin in the ancient past (often said to be the first Norker) crafted these weapons from the broken remains of weapons used by a nameless Hero to slay a nameless Overlord... or Demon Lord, or Demon King, or Demon God. It's not very consistent. Regardless, the "forging," which is invariably a ridiculous repair process complete with all manner of makeshift modifications, somehow produces the Legacy weapons. From there the weapons are given to a Goblin warrior who goes on to defeat a few foes and challenges... and then dies. A new Goblin wielder takes up one or both weapons and goes on their own adventures, often helped by the spirits of past wielders, only to eventually perish as well. This cycle is effectively infinite, as individual tribes and tellers add their own verses, making it one of the longest tales in Gaea's history.
==== Perrin Pie-Fingers ====
This is a long-running series of tales about a small Goblin named Perrin who is fond of stealing food from Men, a skill he honed by filching his mother's pies. The stories focus on how the sneaky little Goblin manages to outwit and outmaneuver the various, comical defenses the Races of Man set up to protect their food from the thieving little Goblin, and how they often end up caught in their own traps. Despite his skill at evading the Men, who are often depicted as clumsy and oafish, he frequently gets caught and scolded by his Mother for causing trouble with them.
==== Coblin's Web ====
==== The Sparklin and the Storm ====
==== Goblin Squash and Goblin Bog ====
A bawdy rhyme that attempts to explain where the Goblin Squash comes from, as well as the drink made from it, the story revolves around a Saplin girl obsessed with sucking cock, but who's too skinny to be attractive. She ultimately ends up buried in the dirt up to her neck and "fed" by the men of her tribe. Despite this, she remains unsatisfied, even with her head full of seed. Eventually, she stops moving or speaking, only sucking, and finally even that ceases. When one of the other Goblins raps on her head to see if she's still alike, it splits open, revealing she's become a gourd, her head now literally full of seeds. More squash grows from these seeds, and the Goblins eventually try it, realizing it's sweet and tasty. So they start to make a drink from it, and throw all manner of things into the pot, only to forget about it when the shaman calls them away. They return much later to find that their sweet drink is now sour as well as sweet, and makes the world dance, causing a great celebration.
This particular tale is awkwardly constructed; the initial rhymes involving the girl turning into a squash and the latter part relating to Goblins discovering how to brew alcohol from the same squash were likely not originally connected, but are instead consistently told together in a way that makes the initial story even more morbid. Goblins tend to find both stories comedic, focusing on the various things tossed into the drink, called Bog, and on the various acts of fellatio the Saplin performs. The Saplin girl is herself considered the butt of the joke, as she's focused entirely on the flavor of semen and the act of oral sex instead of what Goblins consider the real priority, which is getting pregnant. As odd as the Saplin is to Men, she's also strange by Goblin standards.
==== The First Grindylow ====
=== Coming of Age ===
=== Taboos ===
=== Celebrations ===
=== Funerary Practices ===
== Characteristics ==
== Courtship, Mating, and Development ==
Goblins tend to be very casual about courtship and sex; they have high Libidos, Fertility, and Virility. It's easy for them to get pregnant normally, unless they're actively preventing it somehow... and there's usually not much reason why a common Goblin would do so. They view contraception as taboo on a cultural level and afford pregnant females higher social status due to their size increase. Likewise, pregnancy is short for Goblins and their offspring grow quickly and largely without the need for parenting (which is normally handled by the whole Goblin community rather than just the biological parents), so it's usually not a significant commitment for female Goblins to become mothers. However, broadly speaking, there are two main camps when it comes to their approach to courtship and mating.
=== "Wild" Goblins ===
Goblins with little exposure to human societies tend to be very free when it comes to courtship, sex, pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Courtship can be as short and simple as an indication of interest; most Goblins don't place a great deal of significance on the idea of marriage or exclusivity and will happily fuck just about anyone or anything offered without preamble or even talk so long as they're horny. And they are usually at least a little horny. To give an example, it's perfectly normal for a wild Goblin male who's aroused to simply stick it in the nearest available female, regardless of where they happen to be. This usually causes no complaints from the female unless she happened to be doing something else, though it can and does lead to orgies as the sight, sound, and smell triggers arousal in surrounding Monsters. As wild Goblins often don't wear clothes save for those needed to carry tools and equipment, such events happen quickly. Genitals are usually already exposed, so it's often as simple as the male bending the female over and thrusting. Goblin males, like other male Monsters, may attempt to stake a claim over preferred females, but these are often not especially exclusive and there's usually little conflict over sharing partners... especially since female Goblins normally outnumber males by 3:1, and sometimes more.
Goblins have high Fertility and Virility, so such matings tend to be successful. Goblin pregnancies last roughly two months, after which point they normally birth two to three babies. As with Monsters in general, rather than being painful, this experience is intensely orgasmic and frequently addictive to the mother. Single births are rare, as are more than three offspring. Two is most common. There is no puberty for these offspring; Goblins experience continuous growth from birth to adulthood. This process takes about a year, with the young Goblins usually becoming sexually viable at about six months... at which point they're roughly half the size of their parents so long as they aren't a mutant or subspecies.
=== "Domestic" Goblins ===
Goblins used to human societies tend to behave much more like Men. They're still very casual about sex and are generally willing to have sex at any given time, they're much more discerning about who and what their partners are, when and where they are, and are more likely to want an exclusive relationship... though most Goblins are used to the concept of polyamory and forming harems. Goblins are somewhat unusual among Monsters in that their casual approach to sex means that they don't always fall in love with the human fathers of their children; their relative weakness and high Fertility makes it possible for them to be impregnated relatively easy for a Monster, potentially resulting in casual pregnancies. To female domestic Goblins, this is sometimes seen as such an insignificant event that it may not even demand reporting to the father, should their relationship be limited to a one-night stand or the occasional fuck.
== Statistics ==
== Variants, Mutations, and Subspecies ==
Category:Canon
Category:Gaea
Category:Monster
Category:Goblinoid
Category:Goblin
Category:Monsters with Cultures
Category:Common Monster
Category:Monsters with Class Levels
Category:Breeder
Category:Petite
Category:Casual Sex
Category:Size Small
Category:Playable Monster