Edge of Tomorrow

Edge of Tommorow is the twenty-eighth episode of Cult of Squid. It aired April 24th, 2020 and was written by Locknloaded23 and Purple133.
== Plot ==
Squidward gets stuck reliving the same day over and over again and it ends the same each time - he gets dragged to hell by Satan.
== Script ==
(Episode begins with Squidward waking up)
Squidward: man, what a rough night.
Security: (pouring hot coffee) what was wrong? (Sips it, and spits it all over Squidward's face)
(Squidward runs around screaming and wipes the coffee off his face)
Squidward: i had this weird dream i had to relive the same day over and over and over and over!
Security: Sounds quite strange. (Sips coffee, spits it on Squidward's face again)
Squidward: (holding back his anger) why don't you drink that in another room?
Security: uh, okay? (Enters door to Throne Room)
Squidward: Crayons, hand me a towel.
Dr Crayons: okay, sir. (Hands towel, which Squidward uses to wipe face)
Squidward: now what was i gonna do?
Security: (offscreen) AAACH! HOT! 
(A ball of burning hot coffee bursts open the door and hits Squidward's face, which makes him run around and scream)
Squidward: (wiping off coffee) CRAYONS! HAND ME A TOWEL!
(Crayons hands Squidward a towel, which causes his head to be frozen in big block of ice. Security pours the coffee on it to melt it)
Squidward: (turning red, yelling) I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR INCOMPETENCE! I WILL HAVE YOU SENT TO THE CAGE IMMEDIATELY!
(A hand made of fire bursts through the floor, grabbing Squidward, and pulling him into Hell)
(Suddenly, a bright white light flashes and Squidward is back in bed)
Squidward: man, what a rough night.
Security: (pouring hot coffee) what was wrong? (Sips it, and spits it all over Squidward's face)
(Squidward runs around screaming and wipes the coffee off his face. He goes to a pool of ice cold water and sighs in relief)
Squidward: so anyway, i had this weird dream i had to relive the same day over and over and over and over! (Pupils expand) that's so weird… I feel like somehow, ive been in this exact situation!
Security: Sounds quite strange. (Sips coffee)
Squidward: (flashback to when he was burned by coffee) WAIT DON’T SPIT IT OUT!
Security: Huh? Okay then. (Spits it at Squidward’s face anyways)
(Security sips it and spits it at Squidward anyway)
Squidward: WHY YOU LITTLE-
(Squidward walks to the door to Throne Room)
Squidward: Crayons, hand me a towel.
Dr Crayons: okay, sir. (Hands towel, which Squidward uses to wipe face)
Squidward: now what was i gonna do? Hey wait Security don’t-
Security: (offscreen) AAACH! HOT!
Squidward: burn your tongue. (Ducks under the coffee ball) (holds head in confusion) this is so strange! I feel like I've been in this exact scenario before!
Dr Crayons: That is quite strange Squidward. Perhaps it’s deja vu?
Squidward: No you idiot, that doesn’t make sense. You never make sense. You’re so incompetent! YOU'RE ALL INCOMPETENT!
(Red light overtakes the room and Satan appears)
Satan: Hello Squidward, time to go!
Squidward: Wait what?
(Squidward wakes up in his bed)
Squidward: how the hell did i get back here? 
Security: what are you talking about?
Squidward: last thing i can remember is Satan trying to drag me into hell.
Security: must've been a bad dream. Last night I had a dream where our universe only existed on some weirdo wiki.
Squidward: I could have sworn ive been in this exact instance before. Almost like… the days are repeating!
Security: eh, youre just going insane.
Squidward: No, I'm telling you! The days are repeating!
Noseward: you're probably just having severe Deja Vu.
Squidward: maybe you're right… im gonna go lie down.
(Cuts to a montage of Squidward yelling at cult members and the day keeps reset)
Squidward: BROTHER SNOOZY WAKE UP!
Security: I think he had a heart attack-
(Day resets)
Squidward: YOU CALL THIS SCIENCE DOCTOR CRAYONS?
Doctor Crayons: Yes.
(Day resets)
Squidward: INITIATOR WHERE DID YOU GO!
(Day resets)
Squidward: FU-
(Day resets)
Squidward: AHHHHH
(Day resets)
Squidward: Okay I have to get through today without yelling. 
(Squidward gets out of bed slowly and trips over his bedsheet)
Squidward: OUCH! SON OF A-
(Day resets)
Squidward: (walks out of bed) eh forget it.
(Squidward Walks to bed, lays down and shuts eyes. Just then, the whole room starts shaking as a crack forms in the ground, emitting an ominous red light)
Squidward: WHAT THE HELL?!
(A deep laugh is heard as Satan comes out of the crack)
Satan: YOUR TIME IS UP, SQUIDWARD!
Squidward: SATAN?!
Satan: Yes! You didnt think I'd forget our deal, did you?
Squidward: why are you here?! Wait, were YOU the one causing the day restarts?
Satan: (laughs maniacally) Yes! This is your eternal punishment! Every time you yell at one of your fellow Cultist, you are dragged to hell and are forced to relive the same day over and over!
Squidward: but why?!
Satan: YOU INVADED MY HOME, ASSHOLE! YOU DO NOT MESS WITH THE KING OF DARKNESS!
Security: (walking in) what the hell is all the noi- (notices Satan and stumbles backwards screaming) SATAN!
Satan: ENJOY ETERNITY IN THIS NEVER-ENDING HELL! (Grabs Squidward, laughs)
Security: WAIT!
(satan stops laughing abruptly)
Security: isnt there some kind of deal we can make?
Satan: i love deals! (Drops Squidward, causing him to land on his head) tell you what… if you can beat ME in an eating contest, I'll lift the curse. For now.
Security: an eating competition? 
Satan: yes, I love eating contests! I watch them all the time on HellTV.
(Cuts to Satan watching TV in Hell while sinners are screaming in the background)
TV: we now return to the eating championship!
Satan: (yelling at screaming sinners) QUIET! MY SHOW IS ON! (turns TV up)
(Cuts back)
Satan: alright, let's get this show on the road! We'll be eating Carolina reapers!!
Security: wait, why do you get to choose?
Satan: do you want to be sent to hell?
Security: point taken.
Satan: let's go, Squidward.
Squidward: wait, why me?!
Satan: I SAID LET'S GO! (Grabs him, then descends into hell)
(Cuts to all of them in hell. Security and Noseward are sitting on foldable chairs with spikes on them, while Satan and Squidward are sitting at a table)
Noseward: YOW! don't you have any other chair?
Satan: sorry, that's all we have in hell.
Noseward: Oh okay.
Satan: LETS GET THIS ON! (Picks up a reaper, eats it, and lets out a big mmmm)
Squidward: (reluctantly picks one up, eats it, and starts screaming) MIIIILK! (about to grab milk, when Satan hits his hand)
Satan: drink that and you're out! (Eats another Reaper) these are f(dolphin chirp) good!
Noseward: (whispering to Security) does he kiss his mother with that mouth?
Squidward: (picks another reaper up, gulps loudly, then shoves it in) AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOTTTTT! (Breathes fire on Security, which makNoseward laugh, only to be ingulfed in flames aswell)
Satan: keep em coming! (Eats a handful)
(Squidward begins melting)
Squidward:IM MELTING!
Noseward: don't give up! If you lose you'll be stuck reliving the same day forever!
Squidward: (shoves a pepper in his mouth) MY TASTE BUDS ARE ON FIRE! 
Security: i wonder if these peppers can kill you.
Satan: ready to give up, Squidward?
Squidward: (weakly) no!! (Shoves a handful in his mouth, causing the audience to gasp) im perfectly- (suddenly lights on fire) Im, not, in, pain! (Shoves 5 more in his mouth) hey, my tastebuds are burned off! Which means… I CANT TASTE HOT STUFF ANYMORE!
Satan: WHAT?!
(Squidward eats a whole plateful of Peppers)
Satan: hey, no fair! (Grabs his plate and eats it whole) 
(Satan and Squidward are both eating mountains of hot peppers while Security and Noseward watch in amazement)
Noseward: THIS IS INSANE!
(Cut to Squidward and Satan stuffed. There is one more patty on the plate)
Satan: so… Full…
Squidward: must… Eat… pepper!
(Squidward reaches towards the pepper and Satan slaps his hand, trying to grab it. He is about to put it in his mouth, when Squidward steals it and eats it in one bite)
Security: HE DID IT!
(Security and Noseward cheer)
Noseward: now the curse will have to be lifted!
(Squidward passes out)
Noseward: uh-oh.
(Screen goes black, then it cuts to Squidward asleep in bed)
Squidward: (suddenly wakes up) WHAT HAPPENED?!
Noseward: you won the contest Squidward!
Squidward: contest? (Suddenly realises) WAIT, SO I DONT HAVE TO RELIVE THE SAME DAY FOREVER?!
Security: thankfully no.
Squidward: YES! (Grabs a can of Canned Bread) let's celebrate! (Eats the bread, realising he can't taste it) uh oh, i think my tastebuds are all burnt off. 
Security: ask Dr. Crayons, he has a jar full of them.
Squidward: WHAT?!
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