I Got the Results of the Test Back

I did not release this episode on a Wednesday. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not miss the Monday deadline. I did not. Oh hi, User.
==Plot==
At The Room household, Lisa is doing the laundry and the dryer catches on fire. Johnny extinguishes her and the day is saved. Johnny is really thirsty though and spots Graggle in the street (he doesn't live in this area so I don't know what he's doing here). Johnny compliments Graggle's neck. Graggle responds saying he has to go feed his cowplant and leaves. Johnny then sees SpongeBob and compliments his neck as well. He also makes a remark on his "loud heartbeat".
Johnny heads to work, still unable to get anyone's blood. Claudette turns up at the house and Lisa invites her in. Denny tries to introduce himself, but the conversation quickly becomes awkward and Claudette yells at him. Denny decides to travel to Chris-R's house to do cocaine instead.
Denny buys a bag of cocaine and snorts most of it in one session while Chris-R beats up a teddy bear in the background. While he's in the middle of snorting, Denny has to head home because his trial is coming up. Denny quickly disposes of all his drugs and goes to his trial over drugs while high on cocaine. While he's at the trial, Chris-R texts him accusing him of talking down his skills.
Johnny returns from work and I have to cheat his needs because I can't get him to drink anyone's blood. Even Mark and he's his best friend. Denny's trial ends and he is found guilty "in an infraction" and has to pay a fine of $3996. Denny decides it's time he stops taking drugs.
OK, that dish is floating.
Chris-R knocks at the door of the house and then starts holding his stomach in pain, I don't know what's wrong with him. He enters the house and complains about how dusty it is. He then heads upstairs, walks past Peter who doesn't acknowledge him and then heads to the roof where Denny is playing football with himself. The two exchange names before Chris-R starts yelling at Denny over the money. Chris-R even shouts "forbidden words" which I assume means "fuck". In the middle of this I get a notification saying Mark wants to have sex with Lisa, just give me five minutes. Where were we? Oh right, time for the violence.
"WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY, DENNY?! DID YOU DO WITH MY FUCKING MONEY?!"
"I swear to God, it's coming."
It took me so long to set this scene up that it's now nighttime in the game. Johnny, Mark and Lisa then appear on the roof. Peter's at the house too but he pissed himself so he won't be appearing. (this is not a joke)
Mark asks Chris-R to "please stop" (the polite ending) and Johnny asks him to "please let them go". (I guess Denny changed pronouns, they will be referred to by they/them pronouns for the rest of the series) Mark calls the police.
Denny passes out after the confrontation and Mark, as a cop, moves in to arrest Chris-R himself.
Denny sits down and starts reading a book, but Lisa shows up to yell at them for taking drugs. Like I said earlier, it took me so long to set up the scene that it's now nighttime so Claudette will not be appearing in this scene since she's probably sleeping.
The police have arrived.
They're a bit late.
Chris-R breaks out of jail and lands from a helicopter back on to the roof while Denny is yelling at someone on the phone. Chris-R then announces that he has to go now and "try not to miss me too much. See ya!"
That scene took me a long time to set up so let's head to the Kong household, now that Hallie is a teenager we can actually go to high school with her. That sounds like fun.
Her face is broken. Give me a second.
Alright, there we go.
Frankie Kong ages up from a baby to an infant. Infants were added to the game a few months ago, they're like babies but they're infants. Funky bottle feeds Frankie and she pees herself, the game calls this a "quirk" that she has. Graggle goes to the bathroom to eat a
That.
This food looks like it was made for Hallie's birthday party in the last episode. How did it end up in the bathroom? I have no idea but it definitely deserves to be there. Remember when I said I wanted to go to the Kong household so I could go to Hallie's high school? Turns out they're on a field trip today so I can't go with her…
SpongeBob has decided he wants to try skiing now. That's cool, I don't want to. The mail's here, amongst the usual crap is a vape pen and blunt wraps. That doesn't make sense, who ordered those?
Wait.
In the last episode April told Hallie that she had a birthday present for her that was going to be mailed to the house… Hmm.
Funky wakes up and sends a flirty text to Cassandra. She responds with "I see you're in a good mood. Maybe we should head out and grab a drink!" Funky goes with her to a bar and the game glitches and Cassandra disappears. Funky invites Cassandra back over and orders a drink for her. The two hug and Funky talks about the time he ended up in prison. The two kiss and Funky orders another drink. 
Cassandra disappears again, Funky invites her back over to the bar and she returns. Funky makes a move and the two have sex on a bench outside the bar. The drinks are now on sale for a discounted price so they both order some more drinks before Funky finally decides to head home.
Bird.
When he's home Funky goes to check on Frankie, who has somehow left his crib and is on the floor. Frankie starts crying so Funky breastfeeds her. Wait, if Funky is drunk does that mean… Evelyn asks to come over and SpongeBob learns that she's a "coffee stain remover" that sounds exciting. Evelyn also appears to comment on the music briefly, which is "Greedy" by Ariana Grande again, there are more songs that the radio could play but it always plays "Greedy" for some reason. SpongeBob farts in the middle of the conversation too. There's an elderly person waiting at the door, not sure why. SpongeBob strips off and leaves out the same door to shower in the rain.
SpongeBob, now fully clothed, starts talking to Evelyn by the pool. He asks her for sex and she agrees.
HOLY CRAP! 
PRINCE PHILIP IS RUNNING AWAY!
Well it was bound to happen. The notification tells me that "His Highness will make His Highness' way home eventually, but posting an alert via computer or phone can help find His Highness sooner."
But he's right here?
SpongeBob is having sex while wearing sunglasses? I don't know what's happening anymore. Funky and SpongeBob's girlfriend(?) Evelyn are bullied by some random child in the kitchen, it's 4 in the morning. Graggle has put an alert out for Prince Philip, I saw him in the house earlier he can't have gone that far.
Hallie heads off to school and. Well, it sure is a school. One of the first two students she meets is Molly Prescott, there was a deputy prime minister of the United Kingdom called John Prescott who punched someone once. . The other student is Evan Caruso. Molly Prescott is uncomfortable and Hallie laughs. Molly's a nerd, Hallie doesn't like nerds. Evan is also uncomfortable and Hallie laughs at that too, but Evan is part of the "rebel rousers". I don't know what that is but it sounds cool so Hallie joins it.
Hallie actually enters school now and heads off to art class. This is boring, she's just sat down learning. Looking back at it now, I should've made her mess around or something. That would've been fun. It's now lunchtime, Hallie orders some food even though she has a packed lunch in her inventory. The teacher starts hanging out at Hallie's table, loser. Someone also appears at the lunch table and then disappears. This school is scary. Hallie shows off her muscles to Evan, spreads a rumour about a classmate Hallie has apparently interacted with before. Hallie says that she heard the classmate had to repeat school this year. She's absolutely right, she's someone who has been in the show since season 1 and just… never graduated.
Hallie heads back to class. This time it's computer science and is being taught by the same teacher who was teaching art earlier. There are no computers in the classroom. Class ends, but most of the students stay at the school. In fact after class ends, Evan heads to the bathroom and starts smoking a cigarette. Couldn't he just head home and smoke on the way, why would he want to stay at school to smoke? He then speaks to Hallie briefly, still in the bathroom (I'm guessing it's a gender-neutral bathroom?) and then starts smoking a cigar as well. I make the mod randomise smokers, I'm guessing it made him a cigarette and cigar smoker somehow. Hallie then goes to another classroom just to make fun of someone, leave and go home.
Prince Philip is back, that's good news. Where did he even go?
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Hallie goes to the doctor's for a check-up and is told that everything seems in order. That is not true. She has diabetes but the mod no longer lets her take insulin for it, I don't know why. Graggle starts vacuuming near Frankie's crib, much to her annoyance. Funky enters the room to pick up a plate that's in there for some reason and leaves, ignoring Frankie's crying. It's at this point I realise Frankie pooped herself, I guess the vacuum scared her. Graggle goes to vacuum in another room and now Frankie's wondering where Graggle went, I hate children. Lightning strikes and now Funky decides that he should check on Frankie.
SpongeBob's cooking while naked, I need to find a way to turn this off. It was funny at first but it's just annoying now. GRAGGLE WHY DID YOU GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING?! HALLIE WHY DID YOU START A FIRE?! I HATE THE SIMS 4! IT SUCKS! THIS IS A TERRIBLE GAME! Let's keep playing. Graggle goes to a chemotherapy session and I can't go with Hallie to school because of that. Can they just cure Graggle's cancer already? Why is there a random child walking in the street on his own?
It's Harvestfest, that's The Sims 4 version of Thanksgiving. And what does the game decide to do? Shut off the household's power until 9 PM for power conservation reasons. This angers SpongeBob who was in the middle of using his computer while naked, did his nan come home from the hospital? SpongeBob texts Evelyn instead and the two head to the gym. They hug.
I think. Nothing that interesting happens at the gym, no sex or anything, I can't believe it. But the naked werewolf from the last episode reappears by the pool, still naked. Back at home, Hallie invites a classmate round and their friendship level is high so I naturally decided to turn them into a drug dealer. Since Hallie already has the stuff she needs to smoke weed (thanks April) she buys some weed and uses a vape. This is right when SpongeBob starts cooking and he responds with "I don't even know who you are anymore. All I know is I had enough! I am looking forward to the day you move out!" This is the first time Hallie has done drugs. Hallie also takes a vacation day from school, I didn't do that she did it automatically. Hallie smokes more weed outside and is somehow already addicted to it.
It's still Harvestfest but because the power is out, nobody in the household can use the oven to cook the meal so I just let Hallie smoke as much weed as she can while I wait for the power to come back. Somehow she doesn't get too high. Meanwhile, SpongeBob is telling a story to himself. Is he sure he's not high as well? Once the power comes back, I make Funky start cooking the grand meal since I think he's the best cook of them all. Surely he can't fuck this up- 
.
OK Hallie has extinguished the fire. Let's try that again. Funky starts cooking the grand meal.
OH COME ON!
Hallie extinguishes the fire AGAIN and Harvestfest ends. Worst. Harvestfest. Ever. SpongeBob starts flirting with his girlfriend Evelyn and she starts smoking and then plays Tetris. Evelyn then goes upstairs, back downstairs, takes some food from the fridge and then runs off terrified like she just robbed a bank.
Back at The Room Household, Denny is home alone and decides to do some cleaning. There are clothes all over the floor so Denny decides to sort them out, but he decides to search the pockets for some money first. He also finds a small but hardy fish in one of the pockets. I don't know who but my brain defaulted to it being in Johnny's pockets for some reason. Denny starts repairing the toilet and my game freezes so I have to save and exit.
Johnny and Peter return from work. Peter has a beard for some reason so he has to shave while Denny continues tidying up. Johnny, meanwhile, is talking to some stranger and eventually decides to drink her blood because he's normal. Denny's grades come in.
Oh dear.
Lisa also returns home from work but currently has mental fog. Lisa is starting to feel woozy from her mental load. Maybe she should take a break or exercise some creative skills before it gets worse.
Johnny: Hi babe. This is for you.
Lisa: Thanks, honey. It's beautiful. Did you get your promotion?
Johnny: Nah.
Lisa: You didn't get it, did you?
Johnny: That son of a bitch told me that I would get it within three months. I saved them bundles. They're crazy. I don't think I will ever get it. They betrayed me. They didn't keep their promise. They tricked me and I don't care anymore.
Lisa: Did you tell them how much you save them?
Johnny: Of course. What do you think? They already put my ideas into practice. The bank saves money and they are using me. And I am the fool.
As the conversation progresses, Lisa ends up making drinks for both her and Johnny.
In the middle of this drinking session, Mark walks in.
Oh my God.
Lisa has to make another drink after this. Eventually Johnny asks Lisa if she wants to practice making babies? Lisa says she's a natural at that. They're both completely drunk at this point and when they finally manage to have sex Johnny can't focus. "Johnny should probably focus more on what he is doing but he can't stop looking at his partner's exquisite pair of breasts moving so sensually in front of him." What the fuck?!
Once they're done having sex, Lisa goes to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test. She is not pregnant, but while she's in the bathroom Peter enters. This is embarrassing.
What's this, a book club?
The next day, Lisa's mother Claudette comes round to the house.
Ignore Denny, who is sleeping on the couch for some reason.
Claudette: Oh, that jerk, Harold. He wants me to give him a share of my house. That house belongs to me. He has no right. I am not giving him a penny. Who does he think he is?
Lisa: He's your brother.
Claudette: He is always bugging me about my house. Fifteen years ago, we agreed that house belongs to me. Now the value of the house is going up and he's seeing dollar signs. Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help me and I'm dying.
Lisa: You're not dying, mom.
Claudette: I got the results of the test back, I definitely have breast cancer.
Lisa: Look, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine. They're curing lots of people every day.
Claudette: I'm sure I'll be alright. Oh. I heard Edward is talking about me. He is a hateful man. Oh, I'm so glad I divorced him. 
Lisa: Look, don't worry about it. [2] You just concentrate on getting well.
Claudette: Well, at least you have a good man.
Lisa: You're wrong. Mom, he's not what you think he is. He didn't get his promotion and he got drunk last night. And he hit me.
Claudette: Johnny doesn't drink. What are you talking about?
Lisa: He did last night and I don't love him anymore.
Johnny has come home from the doctors. He has been diagnosed with a Bee Allergy. Sims who have an allergy to bees can experience severe and life-threatening symptoms when stung. An epi-pen, a prescription for which can be filled at the online pharmacy, should always be available. He overhears this conversation.
Johnny: I never hit you. You shouldn't have any secrets from me. I'm your future husband.
Lisa: You sure about that? Maybe I'll change my mind.
Johnny: Don't talk like that? What do you mean?
Lisa: What do you think? Women change their minds all the time.
Johnny: Haha, you must be kidding aren't chu?
I used the "express doubts about marriage" option for this exchange and somehow Johnny and Lisa's friendship actually went up instead of down.
Johnny: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?! YOU SHOULD TELL ME EVERYTHING!
Lisa: I can't talk right now.
Johnny: WHY?! LISA WHY?! PLEASE TALK TO ME! PLEASE! You're part of my life. You're everything. I could not go on without you, Lisa.
Lisa: You're scaring me.
Johnny: YOU ARE LYING! I NEVER HIT YOU! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!
Lisa: WHY ARE YOU SO HYSTERICAL?!
Johnny: DO YOU UNDERSTAND LIFE?! DO YOU?!
Lisa: Don't worry about it. Everything will be all right.
Johnny: You drive me crazy!
Lisa: Good night, Johnny.
==Gallery==
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Category:Episodes
Category:2023
Category:2023 Episodes
Category:The Game of Life
Category:SpongeBot678
Category:Episodes written by SpongeBot678
Category:2020s