Welcome To Squidward's Tiki Land

Welcome To Squidward's Tiki Land is the 5th episode of NKC's 3rd season. It premiered March 25th, 2022, and was written by Locknloaded23.
== Plot ==
In Jail, Squidward takes hallucinogenic drugs.
== Script ==
(The episode begins with a wideshot of the outside of NKC’s prison; Fade inside, where the inmates are all walking back to their cells; Squidward walks into his, and collapses on the bed)
Squidward: Man, prison blows ass. To think if our rally had succeeded, we wouldn’t be in this hell, right, Plankton? (No response from Plankton, turns head) Plankton? 
(Squidward notices Plankton isn’t in the cell with Squidward)
Squidward: (Sitting up) Now where the hell could he have gone to? (Walks up to jail bars) Uh, Officer?
Officer: What do you want?
Squidward: My cellmate isn’t in here with me.
Officer: And who might that be?
Squidward: His name is Plankton.
Officer: (Gasps in shock) PLANKTON?! That dude who helped destroy the town?!
Squidward: Hey, I took part in that too!
Officer: (Talks on walkie talkie) This is an emergency! Prisoner 128432 has gone missing! I repeat, Prisoner 128432 has gone missing!
2nd Officer: (Walks onscreen, holding Plankton in his hand) He’s not missing. I just found him in the cafeteria.
Officer: What was he doing in the cafeteria?
2nd Officer: Don’t know, and I don’t really care either. (Tosses Plankton into his cell)
Officer: (Talks on walkie talkie) Uh, false alarm. We found him.
2nd Officer: Wanna get a donut?
Officer: Sure, I’m a sucker for cliche cop stereotypes.
2nd Officer: Shaddup.
(The 2 officers walk offscreen)
Squidward: Plankton, what were you doing in the cafeteria?
(Plankton doesn’t respond, and just looks on blankly)
Squidward: Plankton?
(Plankton still doesn’t respond)
Squidward: (Yelling) PLANKTON!
Plankton: (Breaks his trance) WHAT?! Oh… I’m back here…
Squidward: Why the hell were you in the cafeteria? And why were you not responding?
Plankton: (Holds head in pain) I’ll answer in a second; I’m having a hangover right now. (Pukes on the floor)
Squidward: Hangover? Hangover from what?
Plankton: What, did you not get some too?
Squidward: Get what?
Plankton: (Pulls bag of a grassy white substance out of his pocket) This!
Squidward: Plankton, are those-
Plankton: Drugs? Yes!
Squidward: Why in GOD’S name do you have drugs?! Did you steal those from Rex?
Plankton: No! That’s a dumb question. At what opportunity could I have possibly taken these from Rex between the time he was sent to Rehab to when we attended that KrillAnon rally?
Squidward: I suppose you’re right. How is Rex, anyways?
Plankton: I have no idea, but I heard he got sent to rehab again shortly after we were arrested.
Squidward: Yeesh, that’s rough.
Plankton: Yeah, but it’s for the better. Anyways, you gotta try these drugs, Squidward!
Squidward: No! I have been drug-free for 5 years. I’M NOT GOING BACK!
Plankton: Oh, c’mon!
Squidward: Where’d you even get that shit anyways?
Plankton: Well, I was in the cafeteria, when I saw these 2 dudes smoking this stuff. So I asked, and here we are now.
Squidward: Well, nothing is gonna make me take those drugs. 
Plankton: Dude, you destroyed most of the city, why is taking drugs your limit?
Squidward: I did that for the KrillAnon cause! Fuck you!
Plankton: Stop being a wimp, and take some, man! 
Squidward: No! I refuse!
Plankton: Hey, look out the window!
Squidward: I’m not gonna- (Plankton hops on Squidward’s nose and forces a handful into his mouth; he begins coughing profusely) What the FUCK is wrong with you!?
Plankton: You’ll be thanking me for this!
Squidward: I ought to be beating your ass for - (Suddenly jolts spastically) 
Plankton: It’s taking effect!
Squidward: I don’t think it is, dude. I’m not feeling (Suddenly falls to the ground, foaming at the mouth with a kaleidoscope effect in his eyes)
(Zoom into Squidward on the floor, where we see his hallucination; he sits up, looking around, when suddenly the room morphs into a tropical island inhabited by tiki heads)
Squidward: Woah… where am I?
Tiki Head: Welcome back, Squidward!
Squidward: Yo… am I in… Squidward’s Tiki Land?
Tiki Head 2: Yes you are! We’ve been waiting patiently for your return!
Squidward: I can’t believe I’m back… here…
Tiki Head 1: Come, take part in our ritual!
Squidward: Your… Wha?
(Squidward see the tiki heads push forward a citizen who is tied up; they rip the tape off his face)
Fish: Help me! 
Tiki Head 1: Commence the ritual!
(The Tikis begin dancing around the helpless fish)
Squidward: Mind telling me, uh, what this… is?
(The tiki heads dance a little faster as the fish’s body begins to pulsate rapidly)
Squidward: WHAT IS-
Tiki Head 2: SILENCE!
(The fish lets out several bloodcurdling screams as the tikis dance faster and faster as the fish begins pulsating faster and blood starts flowing out his mouth; the fish glows a bright orange, before suddenly exploding bursting in flames, then begins screaming even louder; after a while, the fish blows up like a firework with his blood and remains splattering everywhere as the tikis consume what remains of his body in a bloody feast. Squidward just watches in fear)
Tiki Head 4: Care to join us, Squidward?
Squidward: Uh, I wanna leave now…
(Suddenly, the Tikis appear right in front of Squidward, as the sky glows bright orange)
Squidward: WHAT IN THE-
(The Tikis begin performing the same ritual to Squidward; When Squidward explodes, it suddenly snaps Squidward out of his hallucination as he screams in fear)
Squidward: OH MY GOD!!
Plankton: So, how was your trip?
Squidward: NIGHTMARISH! HOLY SHIT. I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!
Plankton: What did you even see?
Squidward: THERE WERE TIKI HEADS, THEN THERE WAS A DUDE, THEN HE EXPLODED, THEN-
Plankton: Okay, woah, calm down - you just had a really bad hallucination. Get some rest, Squidward. It’ll be lights out soon anyways.
Squidward: I suppose you’re right. (Sighs as he climbs into his bed) I’m gonna have nightmares about this for weeks.
Plankton: I’m gonna go to sleep now. Goodnight, Squidward.
Squidward: Goodnight, Plankton, I guess.
(The lights go out, as Squidward slowly closes his eyes; in his dream, he appears in the same tropical setting)
Squidward: Oh god, OH GOD, WHY AGAIN?!
(The ground rumbles as the Tikis emerge from the sand)
Tiki Head 1: LOOK WHO CAME BACK!
Squidward: I DON’T WANT TROUBLE! JUST LEAVE ME BE!
Tiki Head 1: YOU MAY THINK WE ARE FIGMENTS OF YOUR IMAGINATION.
Tiki Head 2: BUT WE ARE VERY REAL. REAL AND DANGEROUS.
Tiki Head 3: YOU LEFT US TO BURN, SQUIDWARD. 
Tiki Head 4: THE FIRE BURNT OUR FLESH. IT HURT. IT HURT SO MUCH.
Tiki Head 1: DO AS WE SAY, OR ELSE!
Squidward: OR ELSE WHAT?!
Tiki Head 1: WE KILL YOUR FAMILY. WE KILL EVERYONE YOU HOLD NEAR AND DEAR TO YOU.
Squidward: YOU CAN’T HURT ME! YOU AREN’T REAL!
Tiki Head 1: WE ARE VERY REAL.
Tiki Head 3: WHY DON’T WE KILL PLANKTON TO PROVE IT TO YOU?
Squidward: NO! NO! I’LL DO IT! I’LL DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Tiki Heads in unison: BREAK OUT OF JAIL!
Squidward WHAT?!
Tiki Head 1: BREAK OUT! 
Squidward: WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO BREAK OUT OF JAIL?!
Tiki Head 1: DON’T QUESTION IT. DO IT. YOU MUST DO IT. ONCE YOU DO WE WILL VISIT YOU AGAIN. IF YOU DON’T, WE KILL YOU.
Squidward: YOU CAN’T DO SHIT. YOU AREN’T EVEN REAL!
Tiki Head 3: AND DO YOU WANNA RISK YOUR LIFE TO PROVE THAT?
Squidward: BUT, I, BUT- 
(The Tikis began chanting “BREAK OUT! BREAK OUT!” as they begin circling Squidward; Squidward begins getting visions of himself and Plankton breaking out of jail and roaming the streets, as the Tikis booming laugh echo in the background. The vision ends and Squidward notices the Tikis glaring down at him; The Tikis continue circling Squidward, chanting “PRISON BREAK” as Squidward once again bursts into flames; Squidward wakes up screaming, before realizing it’s sunrise)
Plankton: (Drowsily) Squidward, you asshole, you woke me up!
(Squidward is Hyperventilating) 
Plankton: Did you have a bad dream?
Squidward: (Slows down breathing) The tikis.. They… they entered my dreams…
Plankton: The tikis? Oh, from your hallucination? Probably just a hangover fever dream, man.
Squidward: But, they said they would kill me if-
Plankton: Squidward, it was just a hangover. You have nothing to worry about.
Squidward: (Sighs) Maybe… Maybe you’re right. But, the tikis… they told me to do something…
Plankton: They told you to do what?
Squidward: Break out of prison… They told me I need to break out of prison.
Plankton: WHAT?
Squidward: Are you… on board?
Plankton: …I’ll have to think about it, man. I’ve done several prison breaks before, and they all are so hard to do.
Squidward: Just… let me know when you decide.
(Zoom-out shot of the jail is shown, with the Tikis booming laugh echoing the scene as the episode fades to black)
== Trivia ==
* The titlecard background for this episode uses an NKC fanart piece made by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway.
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