A Small Price Toupee

T. Ronald Dump
"Hey, buddy, sorry to break it to you, but we're not open for business right yet. I've always dreamed of selling fine 'dos to those not blessed with a head of hair as magnificent as mine, but I just don't have the money to start it up. Don't worry about me, though. In addition to bearing such a regal mane, my head also houses the brain of a financial genius. I'll be rolling in fubars in no time. Now get outta here!"