Anchovies!

Anchovies! is the fifth episode of Season One in Bikini Bottom Jenkins.
==Synopsis==
After getting mistaken for an anchovy, Old Man Jenkins has to find a way out of the anchovy army. 
==Transcript==
(Old Man Jenkins is watching an old black and white western movie on his TV while eating popcorn)
Jenkins: Yeah, you go get him, tiger!
(On the TV screen, a literal tiger chomps on the head of the main character)
Jenkins: That’s… not what I meant.
(Jenkins’ watch then goes off)
Jenkins: Oh! That’s the alarm for my daily walk. Gotta put those bones to use somehow.
(He gets up from the couch, and exits his house. Several footsteps can be heard in the distance)
Jenkins: What in Davy Jones is going on over there? (he squints a bit to look in the distance) Anchovies… them guys and me go a long ways back. Back in ‘07…
(Flashback begins. A young adult Jenkins is seen driving an old truck on the road. Everything seems fine, until a car crashes straight into his truck)
(The scene then fades to black as it cuts to a hospital. Jenkins wakes up and sees that he is injured)
Jenkins: What in tarnation?!
Doctor: Mr. Jenkins, I’m sorry to say, but we had to remove your appendix.
Jenkins: Oh that’s not so bad.
Doctor: Oh, and you now have significant hearing loss.
Jenkins: What did you say?
Doctor: Oh dear, it’s even worse than I thought. Nurse, hearing aids.
Nurse: Did those even exist in 1907-
Doctor: I SAID HEARING AIDS!
Jenkins: Hearing aids? I don’t need no hearing aids! I can hear perfectly fine!
Doctor: Pumpernickel.
Jenkins: What?
Doctor: Did you even hear what I said?
Jenkins: No, you’re too darn quiet! Speak louder!
Nurse: He said pumpernickel. Last time he did this hearing test he said watermelon.
Jenkins: Huh? Water chicken?
(The nurse sighs and leaves the room)
Jenkins: So, did my truck turn out alright?
Doctor: Totaled. Absolutely totaled.
Jenkins: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Flashback ends)
Jenkins: And ever since that day, I vowed to get revenge on those stupid anchovies! Always hungry and making meeping noises, always acting the same. It disgusts me. I gotta give them a piece a my mind!
(Jenkins tears off a bit of his beard and waves it at the anchovies in the distance)
Jenkins: This is for you, my beloved Tracy! (looks at camera) Hey, I was only 18, don’t judge.
(He gets closer to the anchovies to realize they are wearing army clothing)
Jenkins: The army?! Well, that explains why they all look the same.
Anchovy 1: Meep.
Anchovy 2: Meep meep.
Anchovy 3: Meep?
Jenkins: Oh you guys are pathetic. All you do is Meep.
Anchovy 2: Meep!
(Anchovies 1 and 2 pick up Jenkins)
Jenkins: Hey! What are you doing?! I don't Meep, I'm no anchovy!
Anchovy 1: Meep meep.
Jenkins: Meep meep my (dolphin chirp)!
Anchovy 1: (gasps) MEEP MEEP MEEP!
(The anchovies put him down in the middle of the pack)
Jenkins: Haha, very funny, y’all, but I gotta get back to my barn to tend my chickens.
(An anchovy puts a helmet on him. Another puts an army uniform on him)
Jenkins: This is a very elaborate joke. You got the uniform and everything. Wait… it’s not a joke! I’m now an… (shot zooms way out) ANCHOVY!
Anchovy 4: Meep.
(A much more broad-looking anchovy blows a whistle)
Anchovy leader: Alright, my fellow people! Listen up. We have a citadel to infiltrate!
(The anchovies all meep in agreement)
Jenkins: A citadel?
Anchovy leader: Hm? Ah, I see we have a fellow English speaker over here. Finally someone who speaks my language. Anyway, the citadel we shall infiltrate is on the top of Mount Atoll.
Jenkins: That’s the apex of the Pacific Ocean, isn’t it?
Anchovy leader: It sure the heck is, old anchovy! Well, can’t waste any more time here, let’s hop to it! To the citadel!
Anchovies: MEEP MEEP MEEP-MEEP-MEEP!
(The anchovies start marching along to the citadel, and Jenkins tries to stay behind)
Jenkins: Okay, that was fun, but I really need to go. (tries to run away, but is stopped by another anchovy)
Anchovy leader: Where do you think you’re going, elderly one? You know our motto: Once in the anchovy army, always in the anchovy army.
(The anchovies meep in agreement)
Jenkins: Well, I guess I have no choice… 
Anchovy leader: That’s the spirit, old man! March, everyone, march!
(Everyone continues marching)
French Narrator: Plenty of Marching Later…
(Eventually, a castle-like building appears in the distance)
Anchovy leader: We’re almost there, everyone! Just keep moving!
Jenkins: I don’t think my old legs were meant to walk this far…
(One of his legs forms a mouth and screams in pain)
Anchovy leader: And we’re here! GO, ANCHOVY ARMY!
(The army except Jenkins approaches the guarded door and breaks through)
Jenkins: So we’re just gonna ignore the guards-?
Guard 1: Hey! Intruder alert!
Guard 2: (snoring, but gets slapped awake by the other guard) EVILLLL!
(The citadel goes on lockdown, and Jenkins is trapped outside)
Jenkins: Uh-oh.
(Cut to Jenkins being thrown into a jail cell in the citadel’s basement)
Jenkins: Heh, this is nothing to me. I’ve been imprisoned so many times you can’t fool me anymore.
(Jenkins looks in the cell to see that there is no toilet)
Jenkins: No toilet?! What kind of jail cell is this?!
Warden: A pretty rough one, if you ask me. Now there’s no way of you gettin’ outta here! (laughs)
Jenkins: I was gonna empty my bladder, but I guess I can’t do that no more. Hmm…
Warden: Well if you’re dyin’ or something, don’t come crawling to me. I’m on lunch break now. (eats a jelly sandwich and leaves)
Jenkins: Mmm, jellyfish jelly… (starts licking lips intensely, then shakes his head) C’mon, old Jenkins, snap out of it! You gotta find a way to get outta this jail cell!
(He then sees a loose nail in the wall)
Jenkins: Hmm…
(One hour later….)
(Jenkins is banging the nail against the wall with great force. A visible crack is already seen)
Jenkins: Just a little more… a little more… aaaannndddd… 
(The whole wall crumbles to the ground, revealing the outside)
Warden: (snoring, but wakes up from the noise) What in the-?! Wall down! Wall down!
(The warden investigates the broken wall)
Warden: What are these walls even made of, rocks?
Manager: (picking up a piece of the rock wall) Actually yeah, they are.
Warden: D’oh… I knew we should've spent our budget more carefully. Just fix that wall up!
Manager: Fine, but it's going out of your paycheck.
Warden: My children already hate me for not bringing enough home, thanks for that…
(The manager ignores the warden and heads for the broken wall)
Manager: Looks like somebody broke out.
Warden: That's the old green guy. Stupid war criminal.
Manager: Can you do something for once and get him back? I’m kinda fixing this stupid wall right now.
Warden: (sighs like a teenager) Fine. Whatever.
(Cut back to Jenkins, who is running away back to Bikini Bottom)
Jenkins: Freedom here I come! I hope the farm is okay.
(Meanwhile at the farm, all the farm animals are having a disco party in the barn)
Ol’ Bessie: Moo.
(Cut back)
Jenkins: I'm sure they miss me.
Warden: Hey! Get back here, you old hash brown!
Jenkins: Y'know if you ate me, all you'd get is AIDS.
Warden: Uhh…. that's concerning. Anyway, get back here or I'm gonna have to use brute force!
Jenkins: You and what brute force, sonny?
(The warden pulls out a taser)
Jenkins: Try me, my nerves are made a steel!
Warden: Nobody can resist a good old tasering!
(Jenkins gets tasered, and doesn't flinch at all)
Warden: Ugh, fine! Last resort!
(Faint meeps can be heard in the distance)
Warden: Uh-oh…
(The anchovies get closer, and become visible)
Jenkins and Warden: ANCHOVIES!
(The warden tries to tackle Jenkins, but instead gets trampled by the anchovy army. Jenkins blends in with the crowd)
Warden: Ohh, which one are you?
Jenkins: I almost forgot about this nifty navy trick I learned back in the day.
(He extends his leg out, and an anchovy trips over it, causing the entire crowd to go into chaos. Jenkins runs out of the crowd, blowing a raspberry)
Warden: MY LEG!
Fred: Hey…
Warden: Where did you come from?
(Fred shrugs. Cut to Jenkins checking in on his chickens in the barn)
Jenkins: Phew, all good. Y’know, I think I was starting to go insane from all those anchovies. But it's nice to be back in my own life. Ahh…
Random chicken: Meep.
Jenkins: WHAT THE-
(end)
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