Stairmageddon Quotes

:Oscar: Our office has an unusually large number of... unusually large people.
:Stanley: This is an abomination.
:Erin: Come on. You got this. Here.
:Oscar: So when something as routine as elevator maintenance happens, and people are forced to expend cardiovascular effort, we have to compare it to the end of time.
----
:Pam: He took this job in Philly without telling me. He bought our house without telling me. At a certain point, he shouldn't be rewarded for that.
:Jim: If I didn't do certain things without telling Pam, she'd be married to Roy. [chuckles]
:Pam: I feel like he's always making these decisions for the family, and then I'm left playing catch-up.
----
:Dwight: Don't worry, it's just a bull tranquilizer. Nothing to be alarmed about. It's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker.
:Stanley: Dwight, you do not learn, do you? For a threat to be credible, you ha—
:Dwight: [fires tranquilizer gun at Stanley]
:Clark: Holy [bleep].
----
:Robert: I once believed that a gay person could be somewhat straight. It wasn't until my marriage to Angela that I realized how...charmless I find the female body.
----
:Erin: Oscar is with the Senator too?
:Kevin: Yes! And I knew it the whole time! I kept the secret. I kept the secret so good. You didn't know, you didn't know, and you didn't freaking know. But I knew! [claps]
:Oscar: He knew!
:Kevin: Yes, we did it!
:Oscar: You did it, Kevin.
:Kevin: Yes! Ohh! I did it. Ohh, I did it.
Category:Season 9 quotes