FRD Website Archive/Articles

Our articles page is 100% Ghetto Fabulous. On here, you'll find all the kinds of things that don't have a natural home anywhere else.
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Having Words With...
In this section, we will be conducting interviews with some of the key people at Free Radical. You will notice that, in some cases we do not mention their actual names, or even show their faces. To be straight with you, we are navel-gazing paranoid oiks, who are desperately terrified of someone coming along and head hunting our best guys. So, rather than tempt fate, their identities have been obscured.
Pedantic? You have no idea.
== A Man Who Makes Noises (June 6th, 2006) ==
You look bored. Go to the articles page to find out who's childhood name was "Freckleface Beefburger".
What do you do at Free Radical?
I make music and sound. My job title? Erm. (long pause) Musician and Sound Designer? 
How did you get into the 'biz'?
Back in the day, I applied for a job at Rare. I had no experience. Plus I was in a band called 'Autogeddon', which may have counted against me. Oh, and the resume I sent was written in pencil, which probably made me look a bit thick. That said, I'd wanted to make game music since I was, like, twelve so my demo was pretty good. Well it must have been. 
What was your worst piece of work?
Oh Jesus. One of my tracks for BlastCorps on the N64. It was when the space shuttle took off. It was completely inappropriate. I still cringe every time I hear it. It's an absolute dogsh*t melody. 
What piece of work are you most proud of?
As a whole, TimeSplitters 2. But as a single piece, it's a toss up between the Notre Dame music on TimeSplitters 2, and the Scottish Castle track on TimeSplitters Future Perfect. 
Who do you admire?
Any ninja. 
Who rips off your ideas?
Nobody I know. But they're welcome to that BlastCorps track. 
What was your nickname at school?
'Freckleface Beefburger'. The slow kid in my class made it up. I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. 
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
Super Sprint on the Atari ST. I spent two years playing it on the three-player mode. I didn't go to the toilet once. Oh, or maybe Tetrisphere on the N64. It's the nearest thing you can get to injecting psychotropics into your eyes. I guess that's a good thing? 
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
Driving Emotion Type-S on the PS2. Totally unplayable. I think they confused 'realism' with 'completely impossible'. 
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
Have you ever drunk your own urine?
== Hey, here's an Animated guy! (July 14th, 2006)==
He intends to lead the animators to glory (holes). Find out what makes 'Cheeser' tick by clicking here.
What do you do at Free Radical?
Drink tea. Be Lead Animator. 
How did you get into the 'biz'?
Many years ago, I was watching Jurassic Park, when I suddenly realised I wanted to be an animator. I immediately went to the Vancouver Film School in '97, then straight on to Melbourne in Australia, where I worked on a bunch of TV shows and commercials. Oh, and an IMAX movie that never got finished. Later I went back to Vancouver and worked on Reboot and the Action Man TV series. I was freelancing in Florida when people started telling me how great the UK was. So, I came over to Nottingham and here I am. Who told me to come over here? I don't talk to them any more. 
What was your worst piece of work?
I did a TV series in Australia called The Living Together Foundation. It was only shown in Tasmania, and instead of the Easter Bunny it had some weird fat thing called the 'Easter Bilby'. It was the corniest, cheesiest, most low-budget thing I've ever seen. 
What piece of work are you most proud of?
Crashzone 2 for the Disney Channel. I was working with really funny guys there, and that translated into the work. 
Who do you admire?
John Lasseter - the founder of Pixar. He made 3D animation what it is today. He's a pioneer. 
Who rips off your ideas?
Dave Doak and Steve Ellis. Also, that commercial where the mobile phone walks around looks alarmingly similar to an animation I put on the net years ago. 
What was your nickname at school?
'Cheeser'. It just worked. 
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
Oh, it's got to be MERCS. I used to sneak out of school to play it. I graduated stupider than I should've done thanks to that thing. 
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
Back to the Future on the NES. I don't remember why it was so bad, but I only played it for ten minutes before I gave it away. I was twelve at the time, so that's saying something. 
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
Have you ever stolen anything from the office?
==A Man With Designs On Chocolate (August 18th, 2006)==
He started off on a UbiSoft cheats line. Now, thanks to the power of nepotism, he’s one of our lead designers. The system works! Who he? Find out here.
What do you do at Free Radical?
Mainly, I eat chocolate. Also I work as the Lead Designer on Haze. 
How did you get into the 'biz'?
A mate got me a job at UbiSoft, doing tech support. I spent all day on the phone to people who couldn't play games for sh*t. There was this old Welsh woman called Trudy who called me every single day for advice on Rayman. It went on for hours. She was very dedicated. I'd say ninety percent of the calls I took were about Rayman, because no one knew they had to punch the giant plum. 
What was your worst piece of work?
On Republic I designed this clever idea about a way to view which characters were interacting with each other, in what context, like who was blackmailing who, and all that. It got ditched. Thank God. 
What piece of work are you most proud of?
Evil Genius - It was my first game. We did it on time, and on budget. No one got fired. 
Who do you admire?
Any pirate. Sailing the high seas isn't for the faint of heart. 
Who rips off your ideas?
Actually, I always seem to get chatting about my ideas in McDonalds. Then somehow they end up in other games. So, there's some person out there who loves Big Macs as much as I do, listening in and stealing all my best ideas. 
What was your nickname at school?
I had two: 'Smock' and 'S-Man'. My name starts with an 'S'. That's all the explanation I ever got. 
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
Angband. It was a 2D dungeon game based on the Tolkien universe. The graphics were rubbish. You were the '@' symbol, and you go around pushing into enemies. That sounds terrible, but it was brilliant. It keeps getting updated though. It's hard to describe, but you could drink potions and knock down doors and allsorts. 
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
That's tough. I guess probably something like Bad Boys II: Miami Takedown. Maybe not the worst game of all time, but certainly not one for anyone's resumé. 
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
Do you like GoldenEye?
==This guy is 'Write on' (September 21st, 2006)==
What do you do at Free Radical?
I'm Free Radical's Screenwriter, plus I seem to have been lumbered with the dubious responsibility of writing the contents of this website. So, in effect, I'm interviewing myself. F**king hell. This is like Twin Peaks. 
How did you get into the 'biz'?
This was actually my first job writing in games. I just made sure I really hammed up the whole 'writer' thing when I came for interview: an old brown suede jacket, glasses, just-out-of-bed hair - the works. I think I even pretended to take notes when people were speaking. 
What was your worst piece of work?
I once wrote a novel. It was about a mother who helps the police to track down her dead daughter using her 'psychic visions'. The twist at the end is that they weren't visions - they were latent memories. She was the killer. It was a total dog egg. 
What piece of work are you most proud of?
Actually, when I was a kid, we made our own little home movies. They weren't the usual turds that kids make - they were pretty decent. My favourite was 'Grandpa', in which I played a psychotic Grandfather who went around killing kids. We showed it to my Grandpa. He didn't like it much. 
Who do you admire?
God. It only took him six days to make the world and whatnot. Six days. Christ, it takes me twenty minutes to do a dump.
Who rips off your ideas?
Michael Jackson - I was planning to build a fairground in my back yard, then go bankrupt.
What was your nickname at school?
The Slug.
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
Revolution X. It was that Operation Wolf-style arcade with Aerosmith in it. Eight solid hours of shooting guys in yellow boiler suits with a ten second sample of 'Eat The Rich' on a loop in the background. Genius.
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
Are UbiSoft games off limits? They are? Then how am I supposed to mention Largo Winch?
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
Has Dave Doak ever kissed a boy?
==Lead Artist on Haze (November 24th, 2006) ==
Here's a man who loves to Up The Arts.
What do you do at Free Radical? 
Laugh. Cry. 
How did you get into the 'biz'? 
I was kidnapped as a child. 
What was your worst piece of work? 
When I was about 13, I did a picture in Deluxe Paint of the Grim Reaper embracing a naked angel. Its awfulness still haunts me to this day. 
What piece of work are you most proud of? 
When I was about 15, I did a picture of a fag-smoking camel using his 4 foot penis as a pneumatic drill. It ruled. 
Who do you admire? 
Tim Schafer. Fight the power, Tim! 
Who rips off your ideas? 
I wish someone would rip off my ideas. 
What was your nickname at school? 
Ape / Monkey. Some 'friends' actually bought me a tyre for my birthday. 
What do you think is the best game of all time and why? 
Grim Fandango. There isn't enough beat poetry in games. 
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why? 
Halo 2. Not because it actually is the worst game of all time, but because of the enormous gulf between its mythical reputation of near-biblical greatness and the reality of relentless mediocrity. Plus, I like getting hatemail. 
What question are you glad I didn't ask you? 
Do you secretly wish you were a woman?
==This man is a total Art hole. (January 12th, 2007)==
There’s a hot new interview with our LucasArts project’s Lead Artist. Women want him. Men want to beat him.
What do you do at Free Radical? 
I'm the lead artist on our LucasArts project. 
How did you get into the 'biz'? 
I have no idea! One moment I was in my bedroom making stupid Amiga demos, the next thing I'm sat in an office doing the same stuff - but getting paid for it. I've always had a passion for games and I always wanted to make artwork for them. I think I just got lucky.
What was your worst piece of work? 
Those Amiga demos! I made this one demo that that was no more than a slide show of some badly rendered images with some a poorly tracked tune. I somehow talked the owner of the local computer shop into placing it on his counter. We had a fifty, fifty deal going on. I think it sold about five copies. 
What piece of work are you most proud of? 
The Chinese resteraunt level in the TimeSplitters series. I can't believe that thing made it into all three timesplitters games and was also labeled as ‘legendary' in the Official PlayStation 2 Magazine. 
Who do you admire? 
Anyone who has read this far into our website. 
Who rips off your ideas? 
Don't know. But I rip off other people's ideas. Am I allowed to say that? 
What was your nickname at school? 
'Twinkle Toes'. Everyone used to call me this during football. I thought it was because they thought I was a fantastic player... Later, a friend let me in on the secret - that I was, in fact, shit. 
What do you think is the best game of all time and why? 
Simpsons Hit and Run! I can't believe it's still in the top 40 - all platforms, all prices chart, That's got to be Best Game Ever? 
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why? 
Rise of the Robots. It promised awesome state-of-the-art graphics, and at the time, I was so excited about it, but sadly it played pants. A bit like Fight Night Round 3 on the 360. 
What question are you glad I didn't ask you? 
Do I like Cliff Richard?
==This man is never shy to Produce the goods in public. (February 02nd, 2007)==
What do you do at Free Radical?
Project Manager. Sometimes known as Producer, but I totally prefer Project Manager. Those in the industry will understand why. I am here to be an interface between the development team and the publisher, to make sure everyone knows where we are going and what we are doing, and that you get your games when you want them, to the quality you want them. 
How did you get into the 'biz'?
I was working as Development Director for an IT company in another industry. I got hammered one night and thought, 'I can do that for games. I've always wanted to work in games. I love you. You're my best mate'. So I sent a speculative email to Free Radical. At the same time, they were looking for someone with my skills, and the rest is history. Having lost six months of my life by playing TimeSplitters 2, I then went on to be the Project Manager on TimeSplitters Future Perfect. Nuf said. 
What was your worst piece of work?
This interview.
What piece of work are you most proud of?
My 6 year old son and my 13 week old daughter. 
Who do you admire?
People who have made a successful start up company in the biz. One that is still going. I speak to so many people with horror stories. Kudos to those who stay afloat. 
Who rips off your ideas?
Not really relevant for me as I'm not creative, only with Gantt Charts and Spread Sheets. Anyone who wants to rip them off is sad. Really sad. 
What was your nickname at school?
Not really printable. Similar to 'Speccy twit' only with a different vowel in the final word. Sad times. Thanks for bringing it up. No really. Thanks... 
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
FREEDOM FIGHTERS. That game rocks on all levels. It is the only game I have completed on every difficulty setting. It is fun, simple, empowering and the best squad game on PS2. Period. It's the daddy. That or Speedball on the Amiga. Oooh that was fun. 
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
That's a tricky one. No old games are that bad in my eyes. They were all pretty funky. Besides, I know now how hard it is to make a game, and I don't want to kick people who have already been beaten up by the reviewers. 
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
Did that cream work?
==In-Game Animation We Trust (March 16th, 2007)==
What do you do at Free Radical?
Make-move-stuff-I.
How did you get into the 'biz'?
Blood, sweat, sex and tears - in that order. Plus a lot of hard work during the week.
What was your worst piece of work?
A PC to PS1 conversion of a side scrolling Duke Nukem game. I can't believe some one paid for the end result.
What piece of work are you most proud of?
The Death Animations in TS3. There's something very satisfying about shooting henchmen in the groin.
Who do you admire?
The All Blacks (The New Zealand rugby team).
Who rips off your ideas?
God.
What was your nickname at school?
Sheep Shagger.
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
My joint favorites are Zelda Twilight Princess,Wiisports Boxing and Fzero GC. Why? None of your business.
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
A Peter Pan game I played on the Snes... Once.
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
How many nipples do you have and why?
==The glamour! It's one of our Quality Assurance Managers (May 11th, 2007)==
What do you do at Free Radical?
I'm one of Free Radicals quality assurance managers.
How did you get into the 'biz'?
I spent a whole lot of time playing games and applied.
What was your worst piece of work?
I don't really do bad work, I'm here to spot other people's, but in a previous job as a mechanic I did reverse someone's car out of the garage while the door was closed.? People seemed to think that was pretty bad but I don't know if that counts.
What piece of work are you most proud of?
That's a tough one for me. I'm torn between boarding out my loft and re-fitting my kitchen but if pushed I'll have to go with the kitchen.
Who do you admire?
Anyone who averages less than a 40 hour working week.
Who rips off your ideas?
No one, my ideas are free for the taking.
What was your nickname at school?
Well mostly it was my surname but there was this one weird guy that used to call me 'Radish'.? No idea why, he was just a bit random like that.
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
It's really hard to name just one game but one of my favourites is Advance Wars or at least any of the Advance Wars series. They're nice and simple and really addictive, I must have clocked up more than 500 hours playing those.
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
I don't think it's the worst game ever but I was really disappointed with Fight Night Round 3. It's a beautiful game but it's such a chore to play.
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
You seem a little tense, would you like a massage?
== Just when things couldn't get more exciting (August 09th, 2007) ==
What do you do at Free Radical?
Project Management
How did you get into the 'biz'?
A very enterprising friend of mine set up his own games company aged 15.
What was your worst piece of work?
I'm probably doing it right now.
What piece of work are you most proud of?
Indirectly making Paul McKenna look a twat on Gamesmaster.
Who do you admire?
Nintendo.
Who rips off your ideas?
No one... I think that is a comment on the quality of my ideas.
What was your nickname at school?
Merv.
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
Animal Crossing. A pig sent me a card on my birthday so I sent him a t-shirt to say thank you. The next day the Pig came to see me wearing the T-shirt. Gaming Genius.
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
Anything with Wizards or Goblins in it.
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
Have you ever read the website?
==We call him 'Sizzlewood'... (August 24th, 2007)==
We call him 'The Lethal Bizzlewood', 'Sizzle-D', 'Sizzlewood', or sometimes 'Mr. T. Bizzle'. All you need to call him is the Haze Project Lead.
What do you do at Free Radical?
I'm project lead on HAZE and also company tea expert. Want to know how to brew the perfect cuppa? Or which blend is the best choice for the middle of the afternoon? I'm your man.
How did you get into the 'biz'?
By convincing FRD's directors that there aren't as many differences between developing games and baking bread as they thought.
What was your worst piece of work?
The space station level in TimeSplitters 2 - less level 'setup', more 'level with enemies randomly thrown at it in about two days'. In my defence we only had a matter of weeks left to finish the game at the time, and I was enormously sleep deprived.
What piece of work are you most proud of?
Probably a tie between the Siberian Dam level in TimeSplitters 2 and the 'Reliance' level in Second Sight. The Dam was the first level I ever set up (although I'd be lying if I said I got it right first time - the whole thing was reworked at least three times before it was finished!), but I think came out very well in the end. 'Reliance', meanwhile, was nightmarishly complicated to set up but really satisfying to play at the end of it, and I love the atmosphere of the level.
Who do you admire?
Anyone who's managed to find a job in the games industry that doesn't involve them doing crunch.
Who rips off your ideas?
Dave Doak. All the bleedin' time. His beard was my idea, y'know.
What was your nickname at school?
Actually I've had more names at FRD than I had at school. Thanks to your good self I'm never going to escape the name 'Sizzlewood'...
What do you think is the best game of all time and why?
I'd have to go with (deep breath) IcoMario64RezPanzerDragoonSagaShadowoftheColossusStreetFighter2HaloMarioKartTetrisSuperMetroidZeldaLinktothePastHalfLifeYoshisIslandGuitarHero, because I find it impossible to single out just one game as the very best.
What do you think is the worst game of all time and why?
TimeSplitters 1.
Heh, no, only kidding. I'd have to say Goldeneye: Rogue Agent, because it's the most appallingly cynical cash-in I've ever seen, with literally no redeeming features but a completely undeserved level of hype based entirely on that name.
What question are you glad I didn't ask you?
Why is the main character in HAZE called 'Shane'?
== The Free Radical Gong of Terror: 2006 (October 31st, 2006) ==
SMASH MY GONG
For those of you who had crippling bowelitis - and therefore the only excuse not to attend - you missed something special.
Some came for the opportunity to pitch us a game idea and win an internship; some came to laugh at the embarrassingly bad ideas being pitched; some came for the miniscule amount of free booze - but everyone left having seen a large topless man rub himself down in baby oil and smash a massive gong.
In the tradition of the Olympics, the opening ceremony involved dancers. Therefore, a pair of b-boys wriggled along the floor for a while, until it was time for the main event. Hosted by our very own Rob Yescombe, and judged by Dave ‘Double D' Doak, Karl ‘Playboy' Hilton, Steve ‘Steve-1000' Ellis, and ‘Frantic' of the PMS clan, the stage was set for humiliation - and they came in droves."If someone attached some sensors to my wang, I have to admit, when I looked at GongMaster Kevin they would have detected a twitch."
- Lead Artist
There was only one rule: don't bore the judges. However, many of the guests decided not to pay attention to this - particularly the winner of the Laziest Idea Award, which went to "Grand Theft Auto in a prison". One by one, this group of badass wannabes stood on stage in front of a few hundred drunks, and pitched like their lives depended on it. Hands quivered, mouths stammered, but eventually two young men emerged victorious.
The winning ideas – and therefore our two new interns – were Simon Vickers’ Lederhosen Rhythm Action Game, with a pair of trouser peripherals that are “Wii compatable”; and a clever little ‘Raindrop Racing Game’ devised by some guy who’s name I can’t remember, where you apply moisture, heat and wind to try and beat your opponent’s drop down a window pane.
These two slick young dudes will be enjoying a luxurious vacation from their daily lives to spend two long weeks in our foul-smelling offices.
"I was definitely surprised by the quality of most of the entries – they were terrible."
- Lead Progammer
After an hour of pitching, all the guests were ready for some Guitar Hero - so that's what they got, on the tiniest screen ever. Some guy in a cravat won. We still owe him £50.
By now, it was time to clear the place out, so a couple of bands went on who played to an empty dance floor until they got annoyed and left.
"The whole thing was just crushingly embarrassing. Which made for great entertainment."
- Designer
When asked what it was like to be our half naked centrepiece, GongMaster Kevin said yesterday, "I honestly can't remember. I've had a bit of a heavy weekend. It was a bit chilly I suppose."
We congratulate the winners, and commend the losers - and we fully expect to see them all again next year for The Free Radical Gong of Terror 2007.
Peace out.
"I liked the magic forest idea best."
- No longer employed at Free Radical
No images were archived. Their descriptions were:
*Karl ‘Playboy' Hilton contemplates his secret semi.
*Rob Yescombe forces undergraduates to sign a horrible, horrible contract that entitles us to all their ideas and money.
*Two men who definitely did not get laid that night.
*Adam Thornton holds the attentions of The Great Unwashed
*GongMaster Kevin prepares to score some ass, thanks to a powerful combination of booze, partial nudity and rohypnol.
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