S3E1 Alternate: Lights, Camera, Getting Some Action

This is a special episode released to Patreon subscribers that pledge $10/month or more. It is available to stream from the RSS feed found on the Patreon page.
This was going to be an 18 part season featuring, Hogwarts: A Hedonistic History by dracosoftie, but the hosts ultimately decided that that would be too long for the podcast and went with a shorter story.
== Episode Summary ==
Draco and Harry are recording a sex tape in the Charms classroom with Luna's help.
== Notable Moments ==
* "I just want to note that we are 3 minutes in and we have done trumpets twice. If the story is as sexy as our sound effects, you're in for it." ~ Lyndsay
* Hosts joke that there are "ships" flying around, then Danny jokes that it's the "Pansema Canal" in his famous Pansy voice.
* "All aboard! The Hornywarts Express is off!" ~ Danny
* Hosts discuss the dangers of using Engorgio on body parts.
* Lyndsay advice: Sex tapes never end well.
* Lyndsay declares herself to be on "trumpet watch"
* "No, Hermione. No one has ever read Hogwarts: A History" ~ Allie
* Danny sneaks in another trumpet at the appearance of Luna.
* Lyndsay wants it to be The Real World: Hogwarts
* Harry is using parseltongue to call out Draco's "snake"
* "Wanton" makes its standard appearance.
* "Get out of the way! Save yourselves!" - must have been a very good orgasm
* Danny screws up the Wands up or down song and is immediately shut down by Allie
== Wands Up or Down ==
Allie: Up
* Loves the voyeurism and the sex tape
Danny: Up
* Likes the bickering at the beginning between Draco and Harry
Lyndsay: Up
* Loves that they're planning to show this to everyone
== Other Media ==
* Hornywarts Express Ringtone: Android or iphone
Category:2018
Category:Patreon Episode
Category:$10 Patreon Episode
Category:Special Episode
Category:Quickies and Specials
Category:Reader: Danny
Category:3 Wands Up
Category:M/M Pairing
Category:Lyndsay: Up
Category:Allie: Up
Category:Danny: Up