Kermit's Lectures

Through the years of Sesame Street, Kermit the Frog has done many lectures about various objects and concepts. Most of his lectures had him sitting on top of a brick wall or standing behind one. Often, his lectures went awry, due to the bad assistance of other characters in the skits.
Picture	Summary / First Appearance 	Description
center 	Kermit's W Lecture (2-Part Skit) Episode 0001 	Part 1: Kermit talks about the letter W, but Cookie Monster keeps eating pieces off it, changing it to a N, a V, an I, and nothing at all.
Written by Jon StoneStreet Gang page 164
Part 2: The W starts to walk as Kermit talks about it. The W starts a war, which it wins.
 	More and Less Episode 0004 	Cookie Monster drinks both of Kermit's glasses of milk, which he was going to use to explain "more" and "less". When Kermit insults Cookie Monster, several of Cookie Monster's monster pals gang up on Kermit, prompting him to point out that now there are more monsters and less frogs. Some of the monsters besides Cookie were Beautiful Day Monster, Snerk, and an unnamed Splurge-like monster.
 	Kermit's letter B lecture Episode 0006 	Kermit tries to present a lecture about the letter B, but Cookie Monster eats the bottom of the B and turns it into an R. Kermit talks about the R, but then Cookie Monster snacks some more, and makes it a P. Kermit tries to go on, but the monster keeps eating, making it into an F, and then an I, and then nothing at all. Kermit chides Cookie Monster for ruining his lesson. Cookie Monster gives Kermit a kiss, then exits.
The segment was taped on October 3, 1969 and directed by Neil Smith.
center 	Tall and Short / Big and Little Episode 0015 	Part 1: Two Snerfs (named Sam & Harry) help Kermit teach the difference between tall and short, until they keep changing sizes.
Part 2: Kermit then changes the lecture to one about little and big with different-sized monsters: Frank and Harold... but he also meets Splurge.
 	Kermit's Rectangle Lecture Episode 0017 	Kermit talks about rectangles. Cookie Monster destroys Kermit's rectangle, explaining: "It's a wreck, and it's a tangle!"
 	Same and Different Episode 0018 	Kermit talks about "same" by showing two identical rectangles. Cookie Monster eats one of them, making them different.
Two different takes of this sketch were used on the show.
 	Some, More, and Most Episode 0022 	In a two-part segment, Kermit teaches "some", "more", and "most" with jellybeans and marbles in jars. Cookie Monster eats the most marbles in the jar and hurts his mouth.
center 	Kermit on Hair Episode 0028 	Kermit talks about hair. According to Kermit, "Hair is a part of you. It is not a part of me, because I am a frog." He points out that some people have hair on their heads, while others have it on their faces. But if you have hair all over your body (like Beautiful Day Monster, who emerges brushing himself and singing "A pretty girl is like a melody ..."), then you're a monster!
 	Walls Episode 0031 	Kermit talks about walls and gets trapped by four walls that surround him.
 	F Episode 0033 	Kermit plans to talk about the letter F, but Beautiful Day Monster delivers an E instead, so he fixes it by using an ax and chopping off the bottom line of the E to make it look like an F.
 	Soft and Loud Episode 0039 	Kermit uses a radio to demonstrate "soft". A monster (proto-Grover) shows up and wants to talk about loud, turning the radio up. After the two demonstrate soft and loud a few times, A larger monster appears and eats the radio.
 	K lecture Episode 0044 	
Part 1: Kermit attempts to talk about the letter K, but it falls off the wall.
Part 2: Kermit attempts to talk about the letter K again, but the top half of the K collapses.
Part 3: Kermit attempts to talk about the letter K again, when Cookie Monster comes by. Kermit tells off Cookie Monster, until he learns that he wants to help him. Kermit talks about K words (including his name), while having Cookie Monster display the items he's mentioning. Finally, Cookie karate-chops the K.
 	Kermit's Bear Exercises Episode 0044 	Kermit watches some live bears do exercises. (This was done on a chroma-key background).
 	Big, Bigger, BiggestEpisode 0048 	Kermit demonstrates big, bigger and biggest as the camera zooms in on him.
 	In the Box Episode 0056 	Kermit talks about the word "in," and a monster (proto-Grover) wants to help him teach. Kermit has a big box that he wants the monster to get inside, but the monster can't seem to grasp the concept of IN ... he gets beside the box, on the box, and under the box. Finally, he reveals why he can't get in the box, because Fred is already inside it.
 	Different Feelings Episode 0066 	Kermit and Cookie Monster demonstrate what it is to be happy, angry and sad. Kermit gets angry when Cookie Monster eats the happy face that Kermit provided, Cookie Monster feels sad when Kermit threatens to tell Cookie's mommy what he did, and that makes Kermit happy because he was able to do his demonstration without the tasty styrofoam faces.
 	Kermit's B Sound Lecture Episode 0068 	Kermit talks about making the B sound, with much detail. When Beautiful Day Monster walks by, Kermit goes over the lesson again. The monster does the noise perfectly, but his "BAH!" scares Kermit away, and fogs up the screen.
This segment was taped on January 8, 1970.
 	Kermit's Between Lecture Episode 0070 	Kermit demonstrates between by using a ping-pong ball, a donut, and a Beatles record sitting on a table, with the donut between the record and the ball. Beautiful Day Monster comes along and proceeds to eat everything. Kermit fears he will also get eaten, but the monster thanks him with a kiss.
 	Nine Blocks Episode 0080 	Kermit and a monster (proto-Grover) count nine blocks.
This segment was taped on January 22, 1970.
 	Full and Empty Episode 0081 	Kermit teaches "full" with a full glass of milk until Cookie Monster drinks it all (with a straw). Disgusted, Kermit complains that he didn’t want to teach "empty", and asks who can talk about the word "full".
 	Sorting Shapes Episode 0094 	Kermit plays a sorting game with squares and circles, until Cookie Monster arrives and takes a bite out of the shapes. Kermit is upset, until he tastes one of them, and he joins Cookie Monster in finishing off the rest!
center 	Round Objects Episode 0107 	Kermit tries to demonstrate what round is, with the help of a wisecracking ball. He introduces Kermit to his "daddy," a basketball.
This segment was taped on March 5, 1970.
 	Horns Episode 0112 	Kermit talks about horns as a film of animals with horns plays behind him.
 	Clues Episode 0118 	Kermit talks about clues. He shows that a boy has grown some carrots because he has a hoe, a watering can, and a bunch of carrots. Next, he confirms that a man has built a birdhouse because of his wood, paint, and carpenter's tools. When he notices Beautiful Day Monster with a suitcase and an umbrella, Kermit assumes that the monster is going on a trip. The monster corrects him; he's planning to eat his umbrella, and uses the suitcase to carry the ketchup he'll use to eat it with.
 	G for Grover Episode 0125 	Kermit talks about the capital and small G, with the assistance of Grover. Grover promises that he'll be quiet, but his unseen squeaky shoes prove to be a distraction. Grover celebrates how the letter starts his name, though he prefers it displayed with a capital G.
 	Broken "R"Episode 0129 	Kermit is about to talk about the letter R, until Cookie Monster karate chops one of the legs off, turning it into a P. When Kermit threatens to tell the monster's mommy, Cookie reassembles the broken letter back to the letter "R".
 	Long and Short Ladders Episode 0276 	Kermit asks Grover to use ladders to demonstrate the difference between short and long. Kermit's amazed that Grover can carry the long ladder by himself, but then sees that Grover is on both ends.
 	Kermit and the Bullfrog Episode 0277 	Bob holds an American bullfrog and asks Kermit to talk about frogs. However, due to living a somewhat different life than normal frogs, what Kermit says about frogs is somewhat incorrect; for example, Kermit believes that frogs eat fried chicken and pizza, and live in apartment houses.
This segment was taped on September 17, 1971 and directed by Jim Henson.
 	Here and There Episode 0277 	Kermit and Grover demonstrate "here" and "there".
 	Counting Six Twiddlebugs Episode 0280 	Kermit counts six happy little Twiddlebugs, and when he is finished, the Twiddlebugs have a party.
 	Counting 4 Eggs Episode 0282 	Kermit counts four eggs. A chick hatches out of one egg, so he counts the three eggs -- then two, then one. Then he counts the four chicks.
 	Between Episode 0283 	Kermit attempts to demonstrate between with two poles, which are actually mops held by Grover and Herry.
 	Kermit counts monkeysEpisode 0283 	Kermit counts five (Steiff brand) monkeys, and when he is done, he gets monkey business.
 	Through Episode 0289 	To demonstrate "through", Kermit tries to get Cookie Monster to run through a piece of tissue paper. Instead, Cookie offers other alternatives, ultimately choosing to go around it. He helps Kermit with his demonstration by passing the tissue paper through Kermit.
center 	No Episode 0297 	Kermit teaches Grover to read his sign with "NO" written on it. (transcript)
 	Some, More and Most Episode 0306 	Kermit and Cookie Monster demonstrate the idea of "some, more and most" using three piles of cookies, each one bigger than the one before. Cookie Monster gets his choice of the piles, but he doesn't want "some", "more", or even "most". He wants them all!
 	Taxi Episode 0312 	Kermit talks about the word "Taxi." After describing how a taxi works, a small Muppet calls "taxi!" and the word drives up to him. He enters through the X, which opens like a door, and then the word TAXI takes off down the line.
center 	Telephone Episode 0314 	Kermit comes across the word "Telephone", spells it, and then teaches the word to the viewer. When an Anything Muppet boy who stands too far away says that he can't hear Kermit, Kermit dials the T, and the boy answers with the last E.
 	WALK and DON'T WALK Episode 0319 	Kermit explains how to read crosswalk signals in order to cross the street. The sign keeps changing throughout his demonstration, so he gets frustrated and says no one will show how to cross the street. As he leaves, the sign sprouts legs and crosses on its own.
center 	Yes Episode 0322 	Kermit teaches Grover the word "YES". (transcript)
center 	The Hand Episode 0342 	Kermit talks about hands, with some assistance from a human hand. Kermit counts the hand's fingers and lists off various things it can do. The hand gradually becomes more aggressive with Kermit in demonstrating, but the two eventually make up by shaking hands.
 	Feet Episode 0371 	Kermit discusses feet, and is assisted by a pair of human feet. After Kermit's lecture ends, the feet refuse to leave, so Kermit decides to tickle them. As the feet exit, a crash is heard offscreen. Kermit adds that feet can also trip over things.
 	Top and BottomEpisode 0434 	Kermit talks about "top" and "bottom" using a stack of boxes Grover carries.
 	5 Blocks Episode 0475 	Grover helps Kermit show the number 5 using blocks, but Grover doesn't know how many to get (he can't count to 5). Kermit has him go back and forth bringing one until there is five.
 	Long and Short Episode 0560 	Grover does things for a long time while Kermit does things for a short time. Grover gets worn out and asks to switch places, and then they demonstrate by tickling each other.
 	Horse and cart Episode 0590 	Kermit, Farmer Grover and Fred the Wonder Horse show how a horse-and-cart works.
 	Weather Calendar Episode 0619 	Kermit explains how a weather calendar works, with Cookie Monster's assistance. Kermit tells Cookie to place them on the right spot on the weather map. After completing the weather map, Cookie decides to produce sounds of the weather. He pours the contents of a watering can for rain, for wind, blew a few blows of air for wind. Kermit asks what sound sunshine makes, Cookie Monster devours the sun symbol.
 	Up and Down Episode 0693 	Kermit has Grover help him demonstrate up and down by having Grover climb UP a sky-high flight of stairs -- while Kermit takes the elevator to the top. Exhausted, Grover faints and rolls DOWN the staircase.
center 	Heavy and Light Episode 0843 	Kermit and Grover demonstrate the difference between heavy and light. Grover carries heavy objects, and Kermit carries light objects. Grover gets tired, and asks Kermit if he can carry something light for a change. Kermit obliges. He carries a giant sandwich... while Grover picks up a helium balloon, which carries him away!
 	Kermit Demonstrates the Number 5Episode 1200 	Kermit tests two blindfolded monsters and aks them which number they're feeling. Herry Monster minus his blindfold describes how he knew the number was a five and in the process breaks the five into pieces. Cookie Monster attempts to feel the number and Kermit tells him that he can't since its broken. Cookie Monster devours the pieces and tells Kermit it tastes like a five.
center 	Beginning, Middle and End with a Cookbook Episode 1352 	Kermit describes the beginning, middle and end using a cookbook, with assistance from Cookie Monster. Kermit tells Cookie as he reaches each part when he turns the pages. Cookie becomes curious about the cookbook's contents and asks what is in each part. At the mention of "desserts" at the end, Cookie eats the cookbook. Kermit sighs, "Well, I guess that's the end of the book."
 	Kermit and Cookie Monster Describe a Telephone Episode 1422	Kermit describes a black rotary dial telephone that is skinny in the middle, has a round base, and a big circle with a lot of little circles, and has cords at the back. Meanwhile Cookie Monster describes the same telephone and adds that it is delicious.
 	Kermit and Two-Headed Monster on Listening Episode 1767 	Kermit explains the importance of listening, using the Two-Headed Monster as an example.
 	SurprisesEpisode 1770 	Kermit has been instructed to discuss surprises. He wonders what kind of surprise he's in store for, such as a scare from a monster or being hit with a pie. The surprise instead comes from a young girl, who gives him some flowers.
 	Kermit's Subtraction Lecture Episode 1950 	Kermit tries to talk about subtraction with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, but they keep disappearing one by one, which makes it hard for him ... or does it?
 	Same and Different Episode 1954 	Kermit and Telly are going to show same and different, but Telly worries they have nothing in common.
This sketch was taped on December 8, 1983 and directed by David Heeley.
center 	Kermit's Neck Episode 1956 	Kermit demonstrates to the viewer how your neck moves to different positions without moving your body, and how you'd have to move your body at different positions without your neck. In the process, he falls off his mushroom. "All in all, it's a good thing we have our necks," he says.
This segment was taped December 5, 1983 and directed by Lisa Simon.
 	Telephone Episode 1977 	Kermit attempts to demonstrate how to use a telephone with the help of Forgetful Jones.
 	Kermit's Z/N Bit Episode 2102 	Kermit talks about the letter Z, but it turns up and becomes an N.
This segment was taped on November 29, 1984 and directed by David Heeley.
center 	Kermit/Elmo Happy/Sad Episode 2188 	Kermit tries to explain the difference between "happy" and "sad", two emotions which Elmo displays while trying to get Kermit to play with him.
This segment was taped on January 2, 1986 and directed by Richard Hunt.
 	Kermit and Gladys Switch Places Episode 2206 	Kermit talks about his favorite subject: frogs. Gladys the Cow assists by being a cow frog wearing goggles, an air tank, and froggy foot paddles. Gladys asks Kermit how it would feel to be a cow and he replies feeling glad to be a frog. Gladys then puts a cow's horns, ears, and a bell on Kermit.
 	Kermit Sight Word In Episode 2220 	Kermit describes the times it is appropriate to use the In and Out doors. To his dismay, a group of monsters keeps going out the In door.
This segment was taped on January 3, 1986 and directed by Emily Squires.
 	Quiet and Loud Episode 2270 	Elmo loudly interrupts Kermit's demonstration of "quiet" and "loud". Elmo loudly insists on helping Kermit demonstrate the difference, and Kermit manages to get Elmo to whisper as they talk about being quiet.
This segment was taped on October 24, 1986 and directed by Jon Stone.
 	Difference Episode 2297 	Kermit tries to explain the difference between two balls, but they keep changing to make themselves the same. The balls are large and yellow with colorful stripes and the ability to talk! The balls were performed by Fran Brill and Kevin Clash.
This segment was taped on November 21, 1986 and directed by Jon Stone.
 	Light and Dark Episode 3784 	Kermit (Steve Whitmire) intends to talk about light and dark, so he turns his living room lamp off. Grover enters, leaving the door open so that the room doesn't stay dark. He tries to help by eliminating all light in the room so neither of them can see.
==Sources==
==See also==
__NOWYSIWYG__
Lectures