LINJ/Episode 1

Life in the Jailhouse is the first episode of Life Is Not Jailbreak. It was written by PokeFanClaire and Tomdylanwow.
== Episode ==
=== Introduction - Dreamhouse ===
--Hello, my name is Raquelle Brunhilde. As you may know I am an enemy of Barbie, I fucking hate her and that is why... I decided to kill her. That's right, it all happened that day..--
We're in Mailbu, California and Barbie is watching "Hunger Games - Dead of Summer" with her boyfriend Ken in her house. Ryan, Raquelle and her twin brother Nikki had been invited too. 
Barbie: (covers eyes with her hands) Ugh, this is so scary!
Ken: Oh my, Ricky has just shot Crim and she fell off the cliff, such a wonderful plot twist!
Raquelle: (rolls eyes) I don't even know why are we watching this, everything is scripted duh!!
Ryan: I know right, I should've been the one sitting next to Barbie!
Nikki: Ryan, can you stop? Ken and Barbie are true love!!!
Ryan and Raquelle puke, suddenly the maid comes in.
--Oh right, we cannot forget the maid who works there, Kirumi Tojo. She's a tyrocinant but sometimes I believe she's actually the Prime Minister of Japan... I don't even know--
Kirumi: May you all enjoy some drink? 
Barbie: Can you please bring us some fruity juices made directly by the fruits on my backyard?
Kirumi nods and leaves, after briefly cleaning the mess the two twins made.
Ken: This was a wonderful season finale! Don't you remember, I called that Jack was gonna win ages ago!
Nikki: But that scene with YandereDev was pretty creepy, to be honest...
Ryan: Ugh Ken, you're such a dumb boy, it's obvious that Nanette was gonna win, she was just robbed because of a demon cheater!
Suddenly, Barbie stands up. 
Barbie: Gotta go to the bathroom, I have to go powder my nose.
Raquelle: Gotta go too. Girls' stuff (smiles)
The two girls reach the bathroom.
Barbie: (raises eyebrow) Um Raquelle? Can you leave? There's another bathroom if you follow the hallway.
Raquelle creepily smiles.
Raquelle: I don't have to, bitch.
The black-haired girl picks up the toilet paper and throws it at Barbie's mouth, who chokes to death out of fear.
Raquelle: oh my fucking God.... MUAHAHAAHAHA! I DID IT! HAHAAHAHAH!
--So this is it. That's how I let her out my life...--
But Raquelle didn't know that someone had watched the entire scene....
The girl comes back to the living room, where the others are fed up.
Nikki: What the fuck happened upstairs??
Raquelle: Um, I did what all humans do in the bathroom that comes from the beautiful butt??
Ken: (agitated) No, it's worse, I think I heard screaming! BARBIE!
Everyone runs upstairs and they found Barbie's body, toilet paper sticking out her mouth. Nikki screams while Ken and Ryan cry in despair.
Raquelle: She fell and toilet paper went into her mouth, she struggled and I tried to help her but it was too late. I know, so tragic.
Ken turns towards the girl, angered as he had never been.
Ken: YOU MURDERER! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!
--And I did actually. They called the police and I was arrested and sent to the Mojave Desert penitentiary. And this is where my new life starts here,, at least until my trial starts, welcome to my new Life in the Jailhouse.
=== Mojave Desert Penitentiary - Morning ===
At the Penitentiary, Raquelle is brought to her cell by two security guards. She enters her cell as they close the doors.
--The penitentiary was weird. It smelled like many things, but a smell that particularly erked me was the smell of fresh vagina. Also, I hated pink, but I'd rather wear pink than that horrible orange jumpsuit! Yuck!--
Raquelle notices she has a roommate.
Raquelle: Uhh, hi! My name's Raquelle and-
???: Ooo, a roommate, yas! My name's Clover!
Clover hugs Raquelle.
Raquelle: Ew, don't touch me peasant!
Clover: Sorry, I'm get really touchy when I'm horny... You don't happen to be a man, do you?
Raquelle: Um, no.
Clover: You're sure?
Raquelle: What the fuck's that supposed to mean?
Clover: Oh, uh, nothing!
Suddenly one of the prison guards comes in.
Griselda: Attention clitsuckers! It's lunchtime!
Clover: Ooo! I wonder if we're gonna eat delicious roasted tampons like last time!
Raquelle: Sis what?!
Clover: C'mon! You can meet my friends along the way!
Clover grabs Raquelle by the hand as they leave their cell.
=== Dreamhouse - Morning ===
--Meanwhile, the Dreamhouse Bathroom number 290289428389 had become a crime scene.--
The detectives/super heroes Ladybug and Cat Noir are investigating Barbie's corpse.
Nikki: How could Raquelle do something like this?!
Ryan: Right? I knew she was a psychopath and everything but I never thought she would go THIS far...
Ladybug: Hey... I feel like something isn't quite adding up.
Cat Noir: What do you mean?
Ladybug: Like who the fuck dies by choking on toilet paper?
Cat Noir: Yeah, it just sounds like something that would come out of a japanese visual novel about child murder and killer teddy bears.
Nikki: ...That was oddly specific.
Suddenly Bitch Pudding enters through a window by breaking it.
Bitch Pudding: DA DA DA DAAAAA! BLAM! BITCH PUDDING!
Cat Noir: Oh god... Real-
Bitch Pudding: HEY, IF I WERE YOU, ID SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK TO MY MOMMYS CLIT YOU INTERNALIZED COCKSUCKER SHOVE YOUR FINGERS UP YOUR DADDYS HAIRY ASSHOLE
Bitch Pudding: NOW IF YOU EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME I BELIEVE I WAS CALLED TO INVESTIGATE THE BODY OF A CUNTFACE SON OF A BITCH
Ken: How the fuck dare you speak ill of my girlfriend!
Bitch Pudding: PLEASE! WE ALL KNOW STERLING KNIGHT OVER THERE (points to Ryan) WAS EMPTYING HIS BALLS OVER YOUR GLORY HOLE LAST WEEKEND SO DONT EVEN, SO WHY DONT YOU GO SHOVE YOUR FINGERS UP YOUR DADDYS LOOSE DIRTY HAIRY ASSHOLE
Nikki (to Ladybug): Uhh, what's her obsession with daddy's assholes?
Ladybug: Oh she was just never loved by her parents.
Bitch Pudding takes one good look at Barbie's body.
Bitch Pudding: BA-BLAM! THE CAUSE OF DEATH WAS HER DEEPTHROATING TOILET PAPER AND GOING TOO FAR... UP HER DADDYS UNWASHED ASSHOLE
Cat Noir: Yeah. We. Knew. That. Already.
Bitch Pudding: BUT DID YOU KNOW THIS?!
Bitch Pudding undresses Barbie and points at her back.
Bitch Pudding: THERE'S A TATTOO ON HER BACK! (gets on Cat Noir's face) DID YOU FUCKING KNEW THAT YOU CUNT ASS WASTE OF SPERM DICKSUCKING FUCK NUGGET?!
Cat Noir: Uh-
Bitch Pudding: yEAH CAUSE I DONT FUCKING THINK SO
Ladybug: This is definetly strange.
Ladybug points to the "tattoo".
Cat Noir: Yeah, this looks like an accurate miniature portrait of someone.
Ken: Hold on, tattoos? Barbie never had a tattoo in her life!
Bitch Pudding: well then you must be fuCKING BLIND DONT YOU SEE THAT THE CLITSUCKER FUCKING DICKPIG HAS A TATTOO ON HER FUCKING BACK
Cat Noir: Ladybug look! There's also an address.
Bitch Pudding: Hey wait a minute... The address is weirdly familliar... Interesting... We should go visit it... FUCKNUTS
Ladybug: Well Cat Noir, seems like this simple murder case will be more complicated than what we originally thought.
=== Mojave Desert Penitentiary - Lunchtime ===
Raquelle is at the cafeteria along with Clover, getting her food.
--I followed Clover to the cafeteria. I found a lot of lesbian looking women staring at me. I knew I was hot but really?--
Clover: You're gonna love our cook, Kylah. She like cooks and stuff.
Raquelle: She's the girl who cooked the tampons?
Clover: Yep! I got the bloody one!
Raquelle: Aw Jesus, gross.
Kylah: Hey skinny bitch... What do you want?
Raquelle: Um, what are you serving?
Kylah: Thin skin.
Raquelle: Uhh, is there a filet mingnon option?
Kylah: Bitch, this is prison, not Olive Garden.
Raquelle: Yep, I can see.
Kylah: wAS THAT SHADE ILL CUT YOU... Actually, here's your lunch. Try this for Olive Garden, bitch.
Kylah puts a bloody tampon in Raquelle's plate. Raquelle and Clover walk away.
Clover: Ugh, don't mind her. She's on her period.
Raquelle (holding the tampon): Really Clover? I COULDNT FUCKING TELL
Suddenly Raquelle trips and falls, hitting a girl next to her.
???: Watch where you're going, fat ass!
Raquelle gets up, fixes her hair and walks away, only for her to trip and fall again on the girl's foot.
???: HA! Damn, clumsy bitch!
Clover: Ugh Amanita, knock it out already!
Amanita: Who the fuck do you think you are Clover? Just because you're Oreo's little bit--
Another girl approaches them.
???: Amanita, is there a problem here?
Amanita: Oh not at all Oreo, I just came to warn you that you should keep your bitch on a leash before she gets hurt.
Oreo: Bitchhh
Smurfette: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Raquelle: Who the fuck are you?
Clover: The resident Gremlin, Smurfette.
Smurfette: Excuse me while I live, huntyy!
Another girl approaches the group.
???: You know Amanita, maybe if you shut your trap for more than just a second--
Smurfette: Now sister Yasmin is joining in the metaphorical box ring! Her mIND UGH
Yasmin: Ok Smurfette let's not.
Oreo: You know Amanita, if I was you, I'd keep my damn mouth shut so I wouldn't end up withered the next day.
Smurfette: "wITHERED" CAUSE SHES A PLANT OMG GENIUS UGH EHR MIND
Amanita: Ugh whatever.
Amanita leaves and sits in another table. Oreo, Yasmin, Clover and Raquelle go to their table.
Oreo: So... Clover, who's your little friend here?
Raquelle: Nice to meet you, poor people. I've read about you in the Tara Dikov bestseller "How to Survive Jail".
Yasmin: Um-
Oreo: Be careful who you talk to like that Raquelle, you don't wanna get your manly face turned into dust.
Clover: Hold on Oreo, she's cool! Me and her are spiritually connected, we talked a lot about her manly structure. We just need to make her feel right at home. Ask us a question?
Yasmin: I love prison Q&As with bitches I can't stand!
Raquelle: Well, what did you guys get in jail for?
Oreo: Ever heard of the name "Barbie Roberts"?
Raquelle: Ugh, she's the skank I ki-
Oreo: Ok shush, I'm talking.
Oreo: It all started in 1997. Mattel and my good manufacturer sis Nabisco had teamed up to create a Barbie inspired by Oreos! It was gonna be my time to shine, and bitch I was ready. I was pitched to Mattel as a "fun doll whom girls could play with after class and share America's favorite cookie". That's when Oreo Fun Barbie was born.
Raquelle: ...Wait... No way! You're actually real? In Malibu, you're just a myth!
Oreo: Yes, those fuckers tried to erase my existance after I was met with controversy. Barbie, who I thought was my friend, one day turned her back at me and shunned me away. I was sentenced the doll death penalty, when I escaped. And ever since, I have been trying to make her life miserable by blowing up the Dreamhouse, killing her, trying to cause controversy, until I was caught.
Raquelle: Whoa... What about you Yasmin?
Yasmin: Roughly the same thing. After me and my good sisters Sasha, Cloe and Jade were ruling the doll scene in 2001 to 2007, Mattel struck. Rumors that I was an undercover Islam and that I had sold my soul to the devil for my gorgeous natural lips-
Clover: Natural? Sis...
Yasmin: Clover, don't. Anyways, those rumors spread across Malibu and I was turned into a joke. Then, I was canceled. I tried to regain my reputation but me and my sisters were sentenced the death penalty, but everyone survived. Except for Sasha cause no one cared about her apparently. So yeah, me and my sisters were separated and I was left alone... Until Oreo found me and introduced me into her gang.
Raquelle: Clover? Did you get in jail because of Barbie too?
Clover: Oh no, I got arrested for skyway prostitution. It has nothing to do with Barbie at all.
Oreo: And you Raquelle, how did you get in here?
Yasmin: By shoplifting I suppose.
Raquelle: Oh, I murdered someone.
Oreo: Your tiny ass murdered someone.
Raquelle: Yep.
Oreo: And I'm supposed to believe that with a straight face.
Raquelle: Pretty much.
Oreo: Are you fucking serious? Damn, you're a badder bitch than I thought you were!
Yasmin: Who did you kill?
Raquelle: Barbie motherfucking Roberts.
The entire table goes silent for a minute, looking at each other, before bursting into laughter except for Raquelle.
Oreo: I could somewhat buy that you had killed someone, but Barbie? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Raquelle: It's true.
Oreo: You can't be serious.
Raquelle: I did. I catched her off guard and stuffed toilet paper in her mouth and she choked on it.
Oreo: Hold on, so you're telling me... That I've spent years of my life trying to come up with a solution to kill Barbie, blowing up her Dreamhouse, poisoning her diet, causing her market share to go down... But you managed to kill her by stuffing toilet paper in her mouth?!
Raquelle: Basically.
The rest of the lunch goes on as Raquelle gets asked various questions from Clover and Yasmin, as Oreo watches her, fuming.
=== Eleanor's House - Lunchtime ===
MDOSIEW is getting fucked by the ass by the pizza guy while "Boy Problems" by Carly Rae Jepsen is playing when suddenly someone rings the doorbell.
MDOSIEW: Sorry babe, we'll keep this going later.
MDOSIEW opens the door only to find his mother, Eleanor de la Rochefeu, at the door.
MDOSIEW: Mom?!
MDOSIEW hugs Eleanor.
Eleanor: Hi my beautiful child! What's u- Ok what the fuck is this mess... It smells like cock in here.
MDOSIEW: Well I had to pay the light bill, the taxes, the gas bill and the pizza guy somehow, and god knows I can't work because I'm lazy.
Eleanor: Where's Oreo?
MDOSIEW: In jail...?
Eleanor: Ugh, did Mattel catch her again? What about Yasmin?
MDOSIEW: Jail.
Eleanor: Clover?
MDOSIEW: Jail.
Eleanor: The blue cunt who's not part of our gang but constantly follows us around?
MDOSIEW: Jail although I don't think she's an inmate. I think she just follows them and eats popcorn all day.
Eleanor: Mood. Well get ready son we're making a little visit to jail. We're getting the band back together.
=== Abandoned Factory - Afternoon ===
Ladybug and Cat Noir sprint, fly and jump their way to the address that was on Barbie's corpse, while an exhausted Bitch Pudding tries to catch up.
Bitch Pudding: (panting) Wait... for... me... you... cocksuckers...
Ladybug: Wow what is this place? Kinda creeping me out...
Cat Noir: Ah well, no need to get scared while I'm around bugaboo.
Cat Noir kisses Ladybug's hand as she chuckles.
Bitch Pudding: Fuck each other.
Ladybug: Huh?
Bitch Pudding: Do you know how PAINFUL it is for me to have to sit through you guys awkwardly flirting? Just get it on already! Cat, just stick your penis into her holes and have awesome sex together! You two disgust me. Like at least makeout or kiss or something!
Cat Noir: I wouldn't be opposed to a little kiss, right Ladybug?
Ladybug: Dream on, Cat.
Bitch Pudding: I hope you both choke on your own spit and die.
Ladybug: Can you just shut the fuck up so we can enter the building?
They enter the building and look around.
Cat Noir: This... does not look like any tattoo parlor to me.
Bitch Pudding: YEAH AND IT SMELLS LIKE THE NIGHT SOMEONE LOCKED CAT NOIR IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM OF A GAY BAR AND HE WAS JUMPED BY FIVE MEN.
Cat Noir: Bitch Pudding, I swear to the Holy Heavens-
Bitch Pudding: Five. Obese. Ugly. Men.
Cat Noir: Ungh, I hate you.
???: What the hell are you people doing here?
They turn around and see someone pointing a gun at them.
Bitch Pudding: Who the fuck are you?
???: Who the fuck are YOU?
Bitch Pudding: I asked you first.
???: I asked you second.
Bitch Pudding and the unknown person stare at each other intensely with hatred but Cat Noir steps in.
Cat Noir: Listen, uhh, Amethyst, we just wanna make a couple of questions.
Amethyst: Wha- HUH?! How do you know my name?!
Cat Noir: Dude, you literally have a "My Name Is Amethyst" sticker on your shirt.
Amethyst: Ohhh, yeahhhh...
Ladybug: (whispering to Cat Noir) She looks exactly like the girl from the tattoo!
Amethyst: What girl?
Ladybug searches through her phone and shows Amethyst the back of Barbie's corpse.
Amethyst: Ohhh, Jennifer from SQ? Yeah, I was created through her.
Bitch Pudding: What the fuck are you talking about, saggy tits motherfucker ass trucker squat?
Ladybug: Oh wait... Are you a...
Amethyst: Sock? Yep. My queen Jiggerita is on permanent vacation and I have to watch out for the store. And that "tattoo" over there is the logo for our sock business.
Cat Noir: So wait... The Barbie we found dead was a sock of the real Barbie?
Amethyst: Barbie, huh? Now that I do recall, a few months ago someone requested me a Barbie sock by e-mail for a delivery. At the time, I just thought they wanted some sex doll or something but now... Now I'm not so sure.
Ladybug: Do you have the e-mail?
Amethyst: Oh, yeah, lemme check it out real quick.
Amethyst tries logging on to his Google™ account but can't because the password is wrong.
Bitch Pudding: OH MY GOD YOU STUPID BALLSUCKER DID YOU JUST FUCKING FORGET THE PASSWORD
Amethyst: I DIDNT ITS "WeStannDaJenniferInDisHaus6969" SOMEONE MUSTVE HACKED IT....
Ladybug: Wait what?!
Suddenly Amethyst turns around.
Amethyst: You have to leave.
Cat Noir: What?! No way!
Amethyst: Your lives are in danger, you have to go! Run before he catches you!
Ladybug: Who are you talking about?
Amethyst: RUN! THE PLACE IS GONNA BLOW UPPP
Bitch Pudding: I'm outta here!
Cat Noir: Bitch Pudding, wait!
Bitch and Cat run out of the store as Ladybug tries to talk Amethyst out of sacrificing herself.
Ladybug: Miss Amethyst, please join us!
Amethyst: I can't, it's too late. NOW RUN MY CHILD, RUN!
Ladybug: Uhh you can literally escape death right now you have the time there's still 40 seconds on the clock.
Amethyst: Oh, I know, I'm just tryna get this really good tan for the summer, you know what I mean?
Ladybug: I can't leave you here!
Amethyst: If the whores already hacked me, if I live it's gonna put a target in all of us!
Ladybug: We are superheroes, we already have huge targets painted in our backs.
Amethyst: Huh? Wow, I never even thought of that. Alright, let's get out of here!
Ladybug leaves the store and waits for Amethyst to join her when suddenly Amethyst trips and falls into a random katana, getting impaled.
Ladybug: AAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK
Cat Noir: LADYBUG, OVER HERE!
Ladybug sees Cat Noir and Bitch Pudding on the roof of a building in a street next to the store and jumps her way to the room. The three watch the store explode.
Ladybug: What... The... Fuck...
=== Mojave Desert Penitentiary - Afternoon ===
The girls are hanging out outside in their free time. Near a table, Raquelle is being questioned by most girls on the prison on how she managed to kill Barbie, alongside Clover and Yasmin, while Oreo watches this happening, fuming over this, once Amanita shows up.
Amanita: Wow, isn't Raquelle the best? I got like so many tips from her!
Oreo: Amanita, I really don't have the patience for this.
Amanita: Damn, what has you in a bad mood? Ohh... I get it.
Oreo: I highly doubt you got anything, considering how many brain cells you probably have left.
Amanita: Oh my god it all makes sense now.
Oreo: Then explain it, trash.
Amanita: Isn't it obvious? You're jealous of her.
Oreo: HAHA! JEALOUS?! WHY WOULD I EVER-
Amanita: Because she stole the thing you wanted to do the most.
Oreo: And what's that?
Amanita: Kill Barbie, of course.
Oreo: Bitch, please.
Amanita: But it is the truth! You felt like Barbie had destroyed your life and you wanted her to suffer like you did... So when someone like her kills her, you feel like she stole your big moment, right?
Oreo: Amanita, I'm warning you to shut the fuck up.
Amanita: Aww Oreo, you know you shouldn't blame her, you should blame yourself! Because let's face it, you were a mistake ever since you've been born! And you just don't want to admit that! Right?
Oreo: Excuse me?!
Amanita: That's why you act so tough, because deep down you know that you were a slip up made by two companies who honestly couldn't care less! Deep down, you know that your whole existence was a mistake but you will never admit it to anyone's face because you can't let anyone see the fragile crybaby you are!
Oreo: Oh, that's it you bitch!
Oreo tries to punch Amanita but the latter blocks Oreo.
Amanita: It's sad, it really is.
Meanwhile...
MDOSIEW and Eleanor are inside the prison, but are in an invisible spell.
Eleanor: Ok so this is how it works: you cannot let go of my hand! Right now we're in a state of-
MDOSIEW: (singing) MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND I WANNA BE IN LIKE ALLLL THE TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEE AINT GOT NO TEARS LEFT TO CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SO I-
Eleanor: (singing) Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! I would appreciate it if you shut the fuck up!
MDOSIEW: That was a cute remix tho!
Eleanor: So as I was saying before you INTERRUPTED ME right now we're in a state of invisibility. We cannot be seen or heard thank god.
MDOSIEW: You mean these straights were not blessed with our beautiful voices?
Eleanor: .....But you can't let go of my hand otherwise the spell will fail. So we're going inside and stealing some police clothes and then getting on the helicopter, okay?
MDOSIEW: Got it!
Eleanor and MDOSIEW grab police clothes and get dressed up. They let go of each other's hands and become visible.
Eleanor: Ok I look great in this.
MDOSIEW: Is it giving you flashbacks for when you were a stripper in Dolona?
Eleanor: Please, my costumes were much better than THIS.
MDOSIEW: But I thought you liked the costumes!
Eleanor: I said I looked good in them, not that I liked them. This lewk is not a lewk anyone can pull off.
Suddenly they turn around and see Griselda standing behind them.
Eleanor: See what I mean?
Griselda: WELL, well, WELL! Eleanor de la Rochefeu... It's been a long time since I've seen you here.
Eleanor: Griselda, sweetheart, you're still in this job? I feel bad for you.
Griselda: Please, my sad pathetic life isn't gonna be the biggest problem you're gonna be facing today. GET READY TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN JAIL RAT!
Griselda runs in Eleanor's direction with a taser but MDOSIEW stops her and tases Griselda and steals her keycard.'
Eleanor: Ok let's go fly a helicopter bitchess!
MDOSIEW: YASSS
Meanwhile...
Oreo, Yasmin, Clover, Smurfette, Amanita, Kylah and Raquelle are the only ones still outside when suddenly a helicopter lands in the field. The drivers are revealed to be Eleanor and MDOSIEW.
Oreo: ELEANOR!
Oreo and Eleanor hug.
Oreo: God, what took you so long?
Eleanor: Dolona is a busy planet... And so is my vajoina!
MDOSIEW: Eugh mom, TMI.
Yasmin: Says the guy who's always talking about his wet dreams of getting fucked by Aladdin.
Yasmin and MDOSIEW hug.
Cat Noir: Aww, reunions are always so adorable.
They turn around and see Cat Noir, Ladybug and Bitch Pudding standing behind them, with a bunch of police officers including Griselda too.
Griselda: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
The prisoners and the police begin to fight each other. Cat Noir chases after Yasmin and catches her, as they both fall to the ground on top of each other.
Cat Noir: Hello there!
Yasmin: Whoa, I think I'm falling for you...
This leaves Cat distracted and Yasmin steals his handcuffs and handcuffs him.'
Yasmin: Paws off.
Yasmin escapes. Cat tries to run after her but MDOSIEW stops him.
MDOSIEW: Whoa, hello there handsome...
Cat Noir: Hello mon cheri.
MDOSIEW: Oh you're so cute in person!
Cat Noir: You're pretty cute too... But I think you'd look cuter in an orange jumpsuit behind bars.
MDOSIEW: You obviously have no fashion sense at all... I'd still hit tho.
Ladybug storms in and attacks MDOSIEW, punching him.
Ladybug: Leave! My! Man- Partner! Alone! Bitch! (to Cat Noir) I'll take care of him. Go!
Meanwhile, Griselda and Eleanor are fighting Mortal Combat style. Griselda trips and falls and Eleanor picks her up.
Eleanor: See you around old hag!
Eleanor throws Griselda off the prison and she lands on the road as someone runs her over. The driver turns out to be Amanita, as Kylah is in the frontseat and Smurfette is in the backseat, who escaped while the others were fighting the police officers, Bitch Pudding, Ladybug and Cat Noir.
Kylah: Good riddance.
Amanita: You can say that again!
Smurfette: Where are we going?
Amanita: Don't worry, I have a plan.
Eleanor then notices Clover, Yasmin and Raquelle all in the helicopter and turns around to see Oreo fighting a police officer. Eleanor flies in and kills the police officer.
Eleanor: Go to the helicopter and wait once MDOSIEW gets there.
Oreo: What about you?
Eleanor: I'll catch up with you guys. I'm a fairy you know!
Oreo: True.
Eleanor punches Ladybug and gets MDOSIEW to safety as the helicopter starts flying. Eleanor prepares to fly but Bitch Pudding grabs Eleanor by the wings.
Bitch Pudding: JUST WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING DIPSHIT
Eleanor: My house, duh!
Eleanor tases Bitch Pudding and flies her way into the helicopter.
--And so there I was. With my new friends, in a helicopter, escaping jail. And for a moment, I felt free. Barbie wasn't around and I had people that would have my back... But only if I knew the events that were about to happen...--
=== White Room - Epilogue ===
--If you had told me what would happen in the next years of my life while I was on that helicopter, I wouldn't have believed you... But if anyone was in my shoes, would have they believed that [CENSORED BECAUSE OF SPOILERS]?--
A blonde woman wakes up in a chair, as two other women are watching her.
???: Rabbit, I think she's awoken.
??? #2: Hey lady, do you remember your name?
Barbie: Barbara... Barbara Roberts...
Rabbit: Ok Miss Roberts, do you remember anything?
Barbie: (points to ???) You!
Rabbit: Explain?
???: She must've saw me tranquilize her in her bathroom...
Rabbit: Seriously Volpina?
Volpina: What?
Barbie: Who are you?
Rabbit: Don't worry... You'll find out eventually.
Volpina: Meanwhile, can you give me an autograph?
Rabbit: How about fuck no. We're here to do our job, not to fangirl.
Volpina: Aw, you're no fun.
Suddenly someone enters the room. Barbie's eyes widen.
Barbie: Oh my god... Hey! Can you get me out of here?
??? #4: Why spoil the fun? We're just getting started.
Barbie: Wha-
The unknown individual plunges a knife into Barbie's leg.
??? #4: Let's have some fun, shall we?
End of Episode 1.
Category:Episodes of "Life Is Not Jailbreak"
Category:"Hunger Games" spin-off