Seifer "Qwoptimus Prime" Almasy

(This page is still a work in progress!)
"Bitches and whores."
--Seifer Almasy
Seifer Almasy is one of the main antagonists(the other being Ultimecia) in Final Fantasy VIII. He's also the rival of Squall Choksondik .
==Basic information==
Age: 19 (FFTcanon)
Hair: short. blond.
Eyes: Green eyes. Not blue. Not cyan. GREEN.
Height: 6'2
Clothing: Clothes? What clothes? They're overrated. (Jeans. t-shirts. steel-toed boots. Never seen without his trade-mark trench coat.)
Occupation: Funblader/Mercenary/Monster hunter
Weapon: Hyperion (GunFunblade)
Sexuality: Funsexual :|
Theme song: "It's my life" by Bon Jovi
==Personality==
Though he is just as competent as Squall, he lacks tha detachment necessary fo' a soldier n' frequently disobeys ordaz when his cold-ass temperament flares up. Though he is outgoin n' honest, his single-minded pursuit of 'his trips leadz ta his ass failin tha SeeD examination, n' further fuck up. - TvTropes Description
Has a stubborn, arrogant, reckless, n' unpredictable nature. Ever since da thug was lil, Seiferz always been a funky-ass bully. When rappin' wit others, he be straight often sarcastic n' teases dem around him, findin amusement up in gettin a rise outta playas n' enjoyin tha attention dat comes wit dat shit. Seifer don't straight-up drop a rhyme wit tha intent ta harm yo, but when his cold-ass temper gets tha mo' betta of his ass his schmoooove ass can be unrelentin n' downright wack. Not one ta sugarcoat things, his schmoooove ass can be like blunt n' you can always count on his ass ta give a honest opinion bout something. 
Post-game events, Seifer is somewhat mo' mature n' aint as reckless as he bust ta be yo. Dude still has dat teasin n' flippant nature however. After tha whole ordeal da thug went through, Seifer is mo' laidback n' has hustled how tha fuck ta control his cold-ass temper better.
Dude has a mo' softer n' carin side dat da perved-out muthafucka shows when around dem his schmoooove ass considaz gang n' close playas.
YOU NEED MORE BADGES TO CONTROL ME!! (But my whip will do the job equally well 8| ) (Will most likely enjoy that. :|) (................. ) (pffftttchhchhpfft.jpg)
==About/FFTcanon==
Baby-eating superhero. Funblader . Nutella knight.
Likes potatoes. Is incredibly sexy and awesome. Keyboard smashes a lot. Drinks tea and eats crumpets, but is totally not british. Lightning is his husbandu.
RUFFLES' EVIL SON |:
Qwoping in the front seat, qwoping in the backseat, qwoping all day erryday.
==Headcanon==
Born up in a lil' small-ass town(that has since been wiped off tha map) located up in tha Hasberry Valley, near Dollet. Seiferz mutha was a funky-ass baker n' his wild lil' daddy was a soldier fo' Galbadia yo. Dude lost his crazy-ass mutha ta illnizz n' his wild lil' daddy was capped durin tha Sorceress war.  Seiferz home hood ended up becomin a cold-ass lil camp fo' Galbadian soldiers n' soon became a funky-ass battlefield, where tha lil' Seifer witnessed nuff dirtnaps among both allies n' enemies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Da hood was soon destroyed n' tha few survivors dat managed ta live all up in tha battle was relocated ta Dollet. But fuck dat shizzle yo, tha word on tha street is dat since Seifer had no gang n' was a orphan, da thug was left ta fend fo' his dirty ass on tha Dolletian streets n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Durin his cold-ass time on tha streets, Seifer kicked it wit Edea Kramer n' her homeboy Cid, whoz wallet Seifer managed ta pick-pocket one day. Upon seein tha ragged n' emaciated child, Edea decided ta take Seifer up in n' brang his ass ta her orphanage where he grew up wit tha other children. Seifer bounced from foster-home ta foster-home, never stayin up in one fo' too long cuz of his unruly n' stubborn personality, until da thug was eventually busted ta Balamb Garden where da thug would begin his hustlin ta become a SeeD. 
==FFT Family==
(Note: On FFTumblr, you're most likely related to everyone and their eidolon. It's full of incest and AIDS.)
Mother: Terra Branford
Father: Rufus Shinra
Sibling/s: Lil' Sora. Lil' Riku. Garnet Til Alexandros.
Children: Cloud Strife. Lenna . Lil' Kairi.
==FFT Relationships==
SEICKE IS OTP
==Tv Tropes==
*Allergic To Routine
*Anti-Hero
*Ascended Fanboy
*Arrogant Kung Fu Guy
*Asskicking Equals Authority
*Bad Ass
*Badass Longcoat
*Beneath The Mask
*Blond Guys Are Evil
*Brilliant But Lazy
*Chaotic Neutral
*Chef of Iron
*Child Soldier
*Cool Sword
*Creepy Cool Crosses
*Delinquent
*Don't You Dare Pity Me
*The Dragon
*Heel Face Turn
*Improbable Weapon User
*Impossibly Cool Weapon
* It's What I Do
*Jerkass
*Jerkass has a point
*Jerk With a Heart of Gold
*Karma Houdini
*Kick the Dog
*Magic Knight
*Out Of Character Moment
*Pet the Dog
*Playing With Fire
*Red Oni
*The Rival
*Rival Turned Evil 
*Romanticism
*Tsundere 
*Tykebomb
==Trivia==
*
==Gallery==
gfhjghj.jpg|Gives bitches potatoes. Bitches love potatoes.
50200.jpg|Hyperion. Sexy funblade is sexy.
another_birthday_by_loveoverdose-d35fasi.png|Bunny ears not included. 
Category:Characters