Newsstand Board

== Newsstand Board ==
=== Newsstand Board ===
:Newsstand Board: Your credible source of the unbelievable truth! The latest news, the hottest of takes, the most incredible of stories! All only in The Steambird.
:Newsstand Board: Our shop also sells La Gouttiere and other magazines and papers! Feel free to read first and then buy.
=== The Steambird ===
:The Steambird: "Masterful Gambit! Honored Citizen Cracks Case!"
:The Steambird: Recently, Fontaine's newest Honored Citizen Monsieur Volonte Nouvelle, known by the moniker the "Crowbar Sleuth," managed to reach new heights, using naught but his crowbar and ingenuity to arrest a wanted fugitive and a thief.
:The Steambird: He himself continues to insist that he merely provided token assistance. However, we have obtained the truth from both eyewitnesses and the Maison Gardiennage.
:The Steambird: As it transpired, the Crowbar Sleuth had in fact already cracked the fugitive's plot, and was ready and waiting to ambush the fiendish criminal. The appearance of the thief simply gifted him with the perfect opportunity to execute his arrests.
:The Steambird: Out of awe and respect for him, some citizens have already formed a Crowbar Sleuth Fanclub, and have carried crowbars out with them onto the streets. A fever for Crowbar Sleuth justice is sweeping the city!
=== The Steambird ===
:The Steambird: "Stunning Twist! Merchant Drowning Years Ago Turned Out to Be a Premeditated Murder!"
:The Steambird: Breaking News: A diver recently uncovered items belonging to the late jeweler Brandt on the Salacia Plain, unraveling a years-old case of the victim's alleged accidental drowning.
:The Steambird: The new evidence has completely overturned previous findings on the case. The case was no accident, but premeditated murder!
:The Steambird: What is the truth behind the case? Stay tuned for our upcoming reports!
=== La Gouttiere ===
:La Gouttiere: "The Undefeated Champion Duelist"
:La Gouttiere: In response to overwhelming demand from our readers, reporters from our paper specially interviewed the Champion Duelist Clorinde. Though she rejected our formal interview request, we were still able to communicate briefly.
:La Gouttiere: After the brief conversation, Miss Clorinde engaged in a friendly competition with our reporters. During the competition, she quickly left them far behind, and disappeared without a trace.
:La Gouttiere: Perhaps it is because she has such a powerful physique, honed by years of intense training, that Champion Duelist Clorinde has been able to maintain her unblemished record.
:La Gouttiere: Subscribe to La Gouttiere! More gossip and secrets regarding Champion Duelists, exclusive photos of Clorinde, all obtained while in hot pursuit!
=== The Steambird Knowledge Section ===
:The Steambird Knowledge Section: "The End is Nigh? And All the Boats Are Still Sold Out?"
:The Steambird Knowledge Section: "The water level is rising rapidly! Fontaine's apocalypse has come!" Such language is spreading throughout Fontaine like a plague, and inducing panic in all who hear it.
:The Steambird Knowledge Section: Even the famous "Maestro of Environmental Salons" has weighed in, saying that if the water levels continue to rise, than [sic] all of Fontaine will be drowned, never to be seen again. The end is upon us!
:The Steambird Knowledge Section: Researchers from the Fontaine Research Institute have also pointed out: "Based on the current speed that water levels are rising, we calculate that Fontaine will only be completely submerged in a hundred thousand years or so. It might be a bit premature to buy up boats now."
:The Steambird Knowledge Section: Want to know the truth behind the rumors? Subscribe to "The Steambird" as we connect with the Maestro of Environmental Salons and researchers from the Fontaine Research Institute, and find a way to survive this crisis!
=== La Gouttiere ===
:La Gouttiere: "An Investigation Team That Doesn't Investigate, and a News Conference With No News"
:La Gouttiere: Everyone knows about the massive explosion at the Fontaine Research Institute, but the cause has never been released to the public.
:La Gouttiere: The investigation team held a lengthy investigation of the contents of their own desks, after which they held a press conference at which absolutely nothing was said.
:La Gouttiere: The results they announced at the press conference were much like our expectations and description of the event itself: an "unfortunate accident." The investigation team is very satisfied with the result of having achieved no results whatsoever, as if the unfortunate press conference never happened at all.
:La Gouttiere: As for any future reports on the truth of the matter, nobody will care. Ignoring the issues mentioned above, the most that can be said is that at least the punctuation in their report was trustworthy.
=== The Steambird Culture and Arts Section ===
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: "Teyvat Treasure Archive: The Lady of the Lake's Tear"
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: The Lady of the Lake's Tear is a special custom timepiece designed by the owner of Lepaute Horlogerie, Caron, for none other than Lady Furina herself. The name itself, The Lady of the Lake's Tear, springs straight from the golden mouth of Lady Furina.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: The defining feature of this timepiece is the teardrop gemstone, so dainty and delicate that it wouldn't look out of place on a ring, and the custom-made mechanical core specially designed by Monsieur Caron himself.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: The core of the Lady of the Lake's Tear is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a masterpiece without parallel in Fontaine's clock technology. It is destined for a place in the history of both art and the greatest collections of the future.
=== The Steambird ===
:The Steambird: "The End of the Serial Disappearances Case! Blonde Outlander Pivotal in Exposing True Culprit."
:The Steambird: Report from our correspondent Charlotte: The final verdict on the Serial Disappearances Case has finally been handed down by the court at Opera Epiclese.
:The Steambird: Thanks to the tireless efforts of groups such as the Blonde Outlander and the Spina di Rosula, Lyney, who was initially deemed a suspect in a magic-related incident, has proven his innocence.
:The Steambird: The Blonde Outlander uncovered key evidence during the investigation that revealed the truth regarding the case.
:The Steambird: The evidence showed that Marcel is the true culprit behind the entire case. Not only did he kidnap dozens of young ladies for human experiments, but he also plotted against multiple involved personnel to shift blame and evade capture.
:The Steambird: The primary suspect, Marcel, was found guilty by the Oratrice and the Iudex. However, Marcel passed away due to extreme shock in the aftermath of the trial.
:The Steambird: Childe, the Fatui Harbinger, was also found guilty by the Oratrice and sentenced to imprisonment at the Fortress of Meropide.
:The Steambird: Furthermore, this case marked the first instance where the verdict of the Iudex contradicted that of the Oratrice. The final judgment was based on the verdict of the Oratrice. Further details shall be covered in future reports.
=== La Gouttiere ===
:La Gouttiere: "Metamorphosis? Has Fleuve Cendre Made Jaime the Brute a New Man?"
:La Gouttiere: According to sources, the infamous enforcer and part-time debt collector for merchant's guilds, Jaime the Brute, has undergone a complete change in personality due to a visit to Fleuve Cendre.
:La Gouttiere: This frequent guest of the Fortress of Meropide has seemingly made a clean break with the domineering ways of his past, and has suddenly become modest, polite, and scrupulously observant of the law. In fact, he has even announced he wants to use his strength to contribute to society.
:La Gouttiere: Though he is completely illiterate, he publicly announced: "The future of Fontaine is in energy, and that is why I want to research topics related to thermal energy in order to give back to society."
:La Gouttiere: Though it must be said, the fact that Jaime the Brute could even say the words "thermal energy" properly is enough to draw attention. To encourage him, let us wish this future scholar success in his endeavors!
:La Gouttiere: In addition, the Spina di Rosula has yet to comment on this matter.
=== The Steambird Culture and Arts Section ===
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: "An Immortal Ode to Deductive Reasoning — A Critique of 'Great Detective Hurlock'"
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: As one who once served in the Maison Gardiennage, yours truly is quite conflicted about "Great Detective Hurlock."
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: On the one hand, we must be very clear that this is a work of fiction, and it is obviously not related to the realities faced by us. On the other, his personal charisma is a call for all of us to devote ourselves to the noble cause of justice.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: "For the sake of society's justice, I will destroy you and your evil, even if the price is my own annihilation." These words resonate with all who carry justice in our hearts and give voice to our innermost feelings.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: And thus I am deeply grateful to the author for gifting such a magnificent work to Fontaine and all of us. To all fellow lovers of art and justice, let us meet at the old site of the Liliacruces Ordo!
=== The Steambird Culture and Arts Section ===
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: "Fashionista Profile: Chiori's Lightning Needlework"
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: Is it an exotic blade? Or a dark thunderbird? Chioriya Boutique and its owner Chiori give an air of sharpness, pride, and confidence in themselves and their choices.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: In this critic's book, perhaps she is a common tailor with a bit of an "exotic air" about her. But to a fashion world that has slept and stagnated for far too long, Chiori is like a deafening thunderbolt.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: ...
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: Though it is obvious that reality does not bend to the wishes of critics. The tides of the fashion world are turning towards Chiori and her lightning needles. Perhaps one day, her particular fashion brand will make waves across Teyvat.
=== The Steambird ===
:The Steambird: "Investigation Team to Hold Another Press Conference on the Origin of the Explosion at the Fontaine Research Institute"
:The Steambird: Though the debris and echoes of the blast at the Fontaine Research Institute have settled, the cause of the sudden explosion remains shrouded in smoke. Rumors say that in the dead of night, terrifying echoes can be heard within the ruins.
:The Steambird: What is hidden among the shattered walls and broken columns? Is it an unknown yet strange truth? Or the malicious conspiracies of lunatics? A professional investigative team adventures deep into the ruins, seeking the truth hidden behind layer upon layer of fog.
:The Steambird: But when faced with the questions posed by journalists at the press conference, the investigative team clammed up regarding any kind of details from the report. They would only use two words to summarize the entire incident: "Unfortunate accident."
:The Steambird: What kind of truth do the unassuming words "unfortunate accident" hide? What secrets did the investigation uncover that resulted in their report that resulted in it being sealed out of the public eye?
:The Steambird: Subscribe to The Steambird, and we'll reveal the truth behind the explosion at the Fontaine Research Institute for you!
=== The Steambird Culture and Arts Section ===
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: "Radiant and Rejuvenated: A New Discovery in Cleansing"
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: A clean face isn't just a requirement for beauty, but the foundation of your health!
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: But clean water doesn't cut it for cleaning away all the dirt and grime, so why not use some facial cleansing ointment and give your face a true deep cleaning!
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: Fret not, the formula for the cleansing ointment is simple! All you need is some fresh Tidalga, Romaritime Flower petals, and Hydro Slime gel.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: After cleaning the Tidalga and petals with water, mix them in the proper proportions, and use clean gauze to wrap them to use as ingredients.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: Then, using a small bowl of Hydro Slime gel as a base, heat it at a low temperature until it forms a mushy paste. Be very careful when using an open flame!
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: The next step is the most critical! Take the previously prepared ingredients and grind them up to extract the juice, then slowly add the fluid into the gel paste and mix it until uniform.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: And finally, using the magic of "time," wait for the gel mixture to cool — and you will have a chilled cleansing ointment for your beautiful face!
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: After using this ointment to clean your face, all your messy little faces will become tender and shining, and everyone will like you even more! Be sure to give it a try!
=== The Steambird Culture and Arts Section ===
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: "Radiant and Rejuvenated: Quality Water Gives You a Quality Appearance"
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: Has everyone drunk enough water today? The human body can't live without water, and your skin is a part of your body, so the importance of staying moisturized cannot be overstated!
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: According to the wisdom of Monsieur Neuvillette, the taste, texture, and temperature of water is different in every place...
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: I have absolute faith in the authority of his statements, and if he says it, there must be some truth behind it. Thus, I have begun to research the skincare effectiveness of water from different locations.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: After bathing in water from different locations across Fontaine, I am ready to share my conclusions with everyone—
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: As for me, I highly recommend the water surrounding Merusea Village. After bathing in water from there, my skin was soft and silky, and I felt calm and relaxed...
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: After all, it is the home of the Melusines, and everywhere there smells like happiness, and like home.
=== The Steambird Culture and Arts Section ===
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: "Fashionista Profile: Mequignon"
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: Nobody disputes the position that Mequignon and her Bertin's House of Curiosities holds in Fontaine's fashion industry. One could say that it is in fact she who defines "fashion" in Fontaine.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: When reporters asked her about her innovative conceptions, she responded: "My inspiration comes from those ancient things forgotten by others. For only that which has been completely forgotten can be completely new."
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: ...
=== The Steambird ===
:The Steambird: "Paradoxically Good and Evil? The Past and Present of Mr. Sawleg."
:The Steambird: Recently, Mr. Sawleg turned himself in to the Maison Gardiennage, along with a criminal who had impersonated him and copied his criminal acts. The copycat was caught by him due to leaving malicious comments below advertisements.
:The Steambird: During the trial, he confessed to using a woodsaw to cut off his own prosthetic leg in public, impersonating a staff member from the Fontaine Research Institute sent to pick up a visiting scholar, impersonating a member of the Maison Gardiennage, and other crimes.
:The Steambird: Upon hearing he was to be sent to the Fortress of Meropide to serve his sentence, Mr. Sawleg let out a tremendous laugh and began to celebrate and clap on the spot!
:The Steambird: When reporters asked him why, he replied excitedly: "The people inside the Fortress of Meropide have never even heard of my performance art. And I simply cannot allow something like that to exist."
:The Steambird: In addition, the copycat criminal was also sentenced to imprisonment in the Fortress of Meropide for assisting unfair business practices.
=== The Steambird ===
:The Steambird: "Insider Dealing? The La Verite Prize Decided Ahead of Time? Has the End Been Penned for the Media World of Fontaine?"
:The Steambird: It is the highest honor awarded in the media world of Fontaine — the distinguished La Verite Prize. Yet amid all the criticisms and disputes surrounding it, has the curtain finally fallen on this magnificent award?
:The Steambird: According to the critics, allowing a journalist as "young" and "lawless" as Charlotte to win such a storied award multiple times represents the backsliding and downfall of the media industry in Fontaine.
:The Steambird: They cry out: "The whole thing's scripted, a sham! The winner is picked before the competition's begun! The dark age of Fontaine media is upon us! The media world of Fontaine is collapsing!"
:The Steambird: But obviously, this isn't the first time they have complained thusly, and it won't be the last. So, just what does this "dark age of media" look like? Let us see.
=== The Steambird Culture and Arts Section ===
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: The "Ironmasked Tyrant" from the prophecies is invincible, unless the forests themselves move onto his high mountains. But none can command the forests to move, uprooting themselves from mud and soil.
:The Steambird Culture and Arts Section: How will our heroes defeat this unvanquishable foe? Stay tuned for the next chapter of Ironmasked Tyrant — "The Trees Are Moving"!
=== The Steambird Entertainment Section ===
;(If )
:The Steambird Entertainment Section: The Much-Anticipated "Great Magician's Night of Fantasy" Debuting Soon!
:The Steambird Entertainment Section: Reports from reliable sources indicate that the Great Magician Lyney has accepted an invitation to perform at the Opera Epiclese, and that both Lady Furina and Monsieur Neuvillette will be in attendance.
:The Steambird Entertainment Section: The best-kept secrets of this magical virtuoso are waiting to be pierced by your keen eyes! If you wish to witness this spectacular performance, contact the Opera Epiclese to reserve your tickets as quickly as you can!
=== The Steambird ===
;(If )
:The Steambird: "Back From the Dead: The Phantom Weasel Returns!"
:The Steambird: After ten years, a warning letter from the famed Phantom Weasel has once again been found on the gate of the Opera Epiclese! Is the Phantom Weasel back from the dead, or has someone decided to take on the mantle of the miracle-maker?
:The Steambird: What chaos will the re-emergence of the Phantom Weasel bring to the Court of Fontaine?
:The Steambird: For more information, stay tuned to our exclusive Phantom Thief coverage. Let The Steambird take you deep into the Weasel's treasure den!
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