Death - Life's Punchline

In life, you get many decisions. The following idiots chose wrong. We got a Japanese soldier who blows himself up, a real life super hero who is really a super zero, a drunk who needs to read more, two soldiers who catches the wrong ball, a king with a nose for trouble, a drunk warlord who becomes nosy, and a Nazi who follows the leader. Don't be like them. Make the right choice and watch the next episode of 1000 ways to die!
AIRED ON: MARCH 12, 2017 
Death #	"Event" Name 	Date 	Location 	Circumstances of Death
6896 	Boiled 	April 6th, 1954 	Nevada, Las Vegas 	A house wife is cooking, and is boiling water in a pot. She slips and lands on the stove with her face in the pot. The boiling water melts her face off, heats her skull and melts her brain. She dies in seconds.
4595 	Flat Man 	Death begins in June, 24 2004 Death ends in June, 26 2004	Death begins in an unknown island Death ends in Orlando, Florida	A black market seller is going to an island to collect rare and protected animals, including bugs. He is bitten by a rare spider. The type of spider that bit him had a neurotic toxin that causes change in personality, but is not fatal. Two days later, he gets back to America and begins turning into a different person. He claims to be a person named "Cat man" and uses a curtain and a cape. He jumps through a closed window and falls 20 feet to his death. He dies when he jumps through the closed window, embedding glass into his body, lands on the ground, breaking his neck and shattering his skull and brain, the impact also pushes the embedded glass further into his body causing blood loss. He dies of blood loss, brain hemorrhage and a broken neck.
3888 	Die-library 	February 22, 2006 	New York 	An obnoxious New Yorker gets drunk and goes to a library. The librarian calls the cops on the man for being disturbing. The cops then chases the man, but the man slips, slides, and crashes into a book shelf. The book shelf tilts, sending 500 pounds of books onto the man. He survives, but the 300 pound shelf falls onto the man, fatally crushing the man. The books breaks his bones and then the shelf breaks vital bones, he dies of massive trauma.
5781 	Dy'in Apple Grenade	June, 25, 1970 	Vietnam 	Two Vietnamese soldiers are guarding a building. They hear and see a "pineapple" falls from a tree. One of the soldiers picks it up, realizes that it was actually a pineapple grenade, and before he can throw it away, it explodes. The pineapple grenade explodes, blowing up the two Vietnamese soldiers. They die of shrapnel and severed limbs and blown off their heads.
6994 	Sha'banned 	813 	Egypt 	Ibn Wahb, was one of those who spread Malik's School in Egypt and the Maghreb. People travelled to him to learn Malik's fiqh both during Malik's lifetime and after his death. He left many excellent books, including what he heard from Malik which took up about 30 volumes. He died on 24th of Sha'ban in the year 197 AH (813 CE).
7996 	Maul-otov Cocktail 	November 24, 2011 	Ohio, US 	A crazy ex-girlfriend attempts to burn her ex-boyfriends house down with a Molotov cocktail. She fills a bottle with gasoline, puts a rag in it and lights it on fire. She backs up to throw it, but trips over the gasoline canister she used to fill the bottle and she drops the Molotov cocktail on herself. The Molotov cocktail shatters, burning the woman to death.
2993 	Heinz Banned 	July 21, 1944 	Carlshof, East Prussia, Nazi Germany 	Heinz Brandt, died the next day after surgery in the Wolf's Lair Hospital and was posthumously promoted to Generalmajor by Hitler. Three other people also died as a result of the explosion. It was later concluded that its exact positioning next to a leg of the map table was a crucial factor in determining who in the room survived.
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