A Case of Beer

A Case of Beer is the second episode of the first season of Octopus Security Unit and the 2nd episode overall. It was written by , , and , and directed by TheJasbre202, and aired on July 6th, 2021 on Canary TV.
==Transcript==
[Begins with an exterior shot of earth, as the Cleveland Show theme instrumental begins, and we’re shown a parody of the intro but with Squidward and tentacle acres.]
Squidward: My name is Squid-ward T., and I am proud to be, right back in my hometown, wit--
Fan: Wait wait wait, hold it, cut the music.
[The music stops and Squidward looks at the fan annoyed.]
Squidward: Hey what’d you do that for?!
Fan: This meme has gone on long enough!
Squidward: (beat) What’s a meme?
[Immediately following that he gets sprayed with a garden hose off the screen, the show logo/jingle pops up on screen and we begin with a shot of the security headquarters of Tentacle Acres. Cut to the interior where Squidward’s getting his initiation in a montage, through various hard tasks and things, then we cut to him on the ground all tired and sweaty.]
Security Guard: You passed, welcome to the force, brother Squidward.
[The security guard places a uniform onto Squidward and he instantly pops back up all happy.]
Squidward: Thank you sir!
Security Guard: Now, meet the rest of the force.
[Squidward turns around and notices some familiar faces.]
Squidward: Stan! Lewis! Tim! You guys all work here?
Lewis: Yes! But, more importantly.
Stan: (holds up a case of beer) PARTAY!!
Tim: Stan! Are you trying to get fired? You keep drinking beer on the job!
Stan: YOLO. Besides, it’s better than what you did last week. You brought-
Tim: ...I prefer not to talk about it.
Squidward: Oh dear. So, uh, quite a coincidence we’re all working here, huh?
Lewis: Yeah, I need money to become a geographer.
Tim: I need it to become a voice actor.
Stan: AND I need IT to become A-
Squidward: Lemme guess, a surfer or something?
Stan: Nope. I will become a writer, homeslice.
Squidward: Oh. Well, that’s surpri-
Stan: (chugs down a bottle of beer) AWESOME!
Squidward: Hm. Fuck it, let’s party.
Tim and Lewis: SQUIDWARD!
Squidward: (chugs down some beer with Stan) What? Come on, he’s right! We gotta do fun stuff.
Lewis: Well, I guess I could have a little…
Tim: …..Eh, one sip never hurt anyone.
French Narrator: A few moments later…
[Squidward and his friends are all extremely drunk, dancing happily to Can't Stop Partyin’ by Weezer. Just then the Security Guard boss bursts into the scene.]
Security Guard: GUARDS! THE--
[The Security Guard notices they’re all drunk, we cut to an exterior shot of Security HQ as the building shakes with what he says next.]
Security Guard: WHY ARE YOU ALL DRUNK?!
Squidward: Do YOU want SOOOOOME, boss?
Security Guard: NO! YOU-
Tim: Dickhead.
Security Guard: I-
Stan and Lewis: GOTTA STOP MIXING ALCOHOL WITH PARMACEUT-
Security Guard: ENOUGH! TENTACLE ACRES’ MOST SACRED BUILDING HAS BEEN VANDALISED! I ORDER YOU TO FIND THE CULPRITS OR YOU’RE ALL FIRED!
[The Security Guard, visibly angry, storms out of the HQ and slams the door, the windows shatter.]
Stan: Jeez, he needs to take a chill pill OR something. (burps)
Lewis: Who does he think he is, Benson? Golfpecks?
Squidward: No, dude, this is (hiccup) SE- (hiccup) SE- (hiccup) SERIOUS! We’ve got to, uh, find who did bad stuff TO that building!!
Tim: Oh fuck, why did we get so DRUNK?!
Lewis: STANIEL, your fault is.
Squidward: LET’S DO OUR JOB!
[Squidward and his friends flop out of the HQ through the shattered windows.]
Squidward: Let’s split up and look for clues!
Stan: That sounds REASONABLE to me! (hiccup)
Lewis: Ok but STAN SUCKS so he goes (burps) alone.
Stan: Jinkies!
[Squidward Lewis and Stan go off searching, as Stan is left alone confused]
Stan: Dumb dumbos, that’s not where the building is! (runs towards the HQ and hits himself against the wall) It’s…..THAT WAY! (actually goes in the right direction) WAIT! (goes back to get more beer, then keeps going into the right direction)
[Cut to Tentacle Acres’ most sacred building, a statue of a tentacle with the globe in its hand, vandalised, with “DOWN WITH TEH ROOLZ” written on it with graffiti; Stan walks around drunkenly and sees the building.]
Stan: Hey, that’s the building! What does that SAY, down with the ROOLZ?! That’s the vandalISM! Who did this? I don’t want to get turned on FIRE!
[Stan notices a figure in the distance.]
Stan: Hey! Hey you!
[The figure notices.]
Stan: If you can help me you can have this bottle of beer!
[The figure visibly thinks and runs over, just as it’s about to grab the beer, Stan pounces on top of it and drinks the bottle, burps, and screams.]
Stan: GUYS, I (hiccup) GOT ONE! ……..Guys?
[Stan notices more figures in the distance.]
Stan: Oh, there you ARE! I got one!
[The figures run over to Stan to attack him, but Squidward, Lewis, and Tim sneak on them from behind and shove them to the ground.]
Squidward: Now to reveal who they are in the cheapest cliche (hiccup) in (hiccup) history.
[They all remove the top parts of their cloaks revealing Hoopla fish.]
Hoopla 1: HOOPLA!! Also, I love Roxanne.
Squidward: YOU! Wait, do I know you? (burp)
Lewis: Zoinks!
Stan: Wait…..(hiccup).....I PARTIED WITH YOU GUYS A FEW TIMES!
Hoopla 1: Exactly!
Hoopla 2: And because of you, we were kicked out of our apartments for partying too much!
Hoopla 3: WE LIVE ON THE STREETS! So we wanted to have our revenge…
[The Security Guard randomly appears.]
Security Guard: I already called the police, you fish are going to be in prison for a long time!
[The police randomly appear, and they handcuff the Hooplas.]
Squidward: Maybe you’ll learn not to take your anger out on a (hiccup) sacred building!
Hoopla 1: And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids! 
[A police officer hits him on the head with a baton.]
Police: That’s enough of this cheap parody, get moving criminals.
Hoopla 2: Oh well. (turns towards audience) HEY READ TEH MEME WORLD MOVAI 2 COMING OUT ON- 
[Hoopla 2 gets tazed by the police and the hooplas all grumble as they’re marched into police cars, and they drive away.]
Squidward: We did (hiccup) did (hiccup) did it!
Steve, Lewis and Tim: Hooray!
[They all jump into the air and freeze like a dumb 80’s movie. The Security Guard, still in motion, walks up behind them.]
Security Guard: That vandalism is coming out of your pay.
[Their faces turn from happiness to sadness, but remain frozen in the air, the Guard exits the scene, the end.]
==Reviews==
* Place your review here, with a letter grade, and sig!
* I give this an A, this was very fun to write -
Category:2021
Category:2021 Episodes
Category:2021 Transcripts
Category:Episodes
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:Octopus Security Unit
Category:Episodes Written by TheJasbre202
Category:Episodes Written by DanzxvFan8275
Category:Episodes Directed by TheJasbre202
Category:TheJasbre202
Category:CartoonGuy277
Category:DanzxvFan8275
Category:2020s