Samsung Galaxy Note 7

The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 is a phone with a pen (so 2005!) that everybody was hyped for, but these were not phones. These were secretly explosives marketed as smartphones capable of the Android OS that were fine for the first few days until they started catching fire because Samsung sent out an OtA (Over teh Air) update to turn these into weapons, but delayed it to reduce suspicion from the UnUS government and carriers around the UnWorld. They did strange trickery with this bad boy with a face scanner like it’s a secret lair and a fingerprint scanner, many years before Apple jumped the ship. This may be why all iPhones are the same every year.
When they turned into weapons, Samsung acted like nothing happened and sent out replacements that mislead people into thinking that they weren't bombs because they had green batteries. Alas, they were wrong as a few days later Samsung sent out the same OtA update turning these into firey explosives once again, especially on airplanes. This caused everyone to take notice and Samsung just played innocent and issued a recall and prevented them from charging past 60%. This did nothing to stop them from doing explosive things as one blew up a car and was discontinued ASAP with many killing updates pushed out to stop the explosive phone from causing any more damage by limiting the charging even more. 
Of course none of this worked so the bomb factory was forced to push out an update to make sure that it can't be charged. Hell they even tried to get you to return your Note7 with the promise that you'd get a new phone and even tried to disable the network capabilities of the Note7. But alas, they had no other choice. The charging was disabled and 99% of all Note7s were either returned or destroyed making the few left very valuable explosives which explains why you don't see them in wars. We'd want them to be in wars because of the joke but it is what it is.
Samsung had a surplus of these bad boys laying around so they made the Galaxy Note Fan Edition. This was only sold in select countries and didn't explode because Samsung was playing innocent like NOTHING ever happened. But surprisingly they didn't kill a single person! Shocking, I know! The cost of this? Un$5,000,000,000 but they could take the hit. (WHAT?)
People forgot about what happened under Samsung’s demand until some repairman in 2020 decided to fix one. This made Samsung so mad they sent a letter to the guy’s house demanding that he take the video down or they’d call hin a really mean name. He refused and they said it to his face. We’re not gonna say what it is but it’s UnAnything. Use your imagination and you will find out. Although in 2023 Apple took notes out of Samsung’s book with the IPhone 15 Portable Oven.
Category:Phones
Category:Explosives
Category:Weapons
Category:Bad guys
Category:Dangerous things
Category:Unsafe for kids
Category:Machines
Category:Technology