Burned Bad

== Characters ==
Nat PetersonShubieSusieBaby BillySadie RechidJennifer-Millie (debut)Jimmy-Gus (mentioned)Dr. ForrestFred RechidDebbie RechidMonroeTommyBaby Rechid (cameo)EvelynTall Billy
== Transcript ==
(Scene cuts to Nat and Shubie lying on two beach towels at Goo Lagoon)
Shubie: "Ah, there’s nothing like spending a day off at Goo Lagoon with my family."
Nat: "You can say that again." Susie runs up to them.
Susie: "Mommy! Daddy! Can me and Billy build a sandcastle?"
Shubie: "Sure. Just don’t burry your brother again, Susie."
Susie: "Ok, I won’t! Come on Billy, let’s make a sandcastle!" Susie grabs Baby Billy and runs off.
Nat: "Well that takes car of them."
Shubie: "Yeah, it’s about time that I finally get to relax in the sun."
Nat: "You said it." Nat takes out a can of Tan Accelerator.
Shubie: "Honey, you’re not using that Tan Accelerator again, are you?"
Nat: "Oh, don’t admit you don’t love it!"
Shubie: "Getting a tan can be really bad for your skin, dear. That’s why I never get one."
Nat: "Relax Shubie, I won’t be out in the sun for too long."
Shubie: "Well, alright, just don’t complain if you get a sunburn again." Shubie closes her eyes and falls asleep.
(Scene cuts to Evelyn chasing after Tall Billy)
Evelyn: "Billy get back here! You’re going to get a cramp if you don’t wait thirty minutes until after you’ve eaten!"
Tall Billy: "Relax Mom, I’ll be fine! Oh no, cramp!" Billy falls down. 
Evelyn: "Now what did I tell you?" Evelyn grabs Billy and drags him away. Shubie wakes up.
Shubie: "Dang, Evelyn’s so loud she woke me up. How long was I out for?" Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "Seven hours?! Where’s Susie and Billy? Oh, I hope they didn’t go in the water by themselves." Shubie looks over and sees Susie and Billy digging in the sand.
Shubie: "Well that’s a relief. Oh, Nat’s still a sleep? Well I’d bet get him up. Come on, Nat, it’s time to get up." Shubie pokes Nat to wake him up. Nat gets up.
Nat: "Huh?" Shubie gags.
Shubie: "Dear Neptune, Nat! That’s the worst sunburn I’ve ever seen!"
Nat: "Oh come on, Shubie. It can’t be that bad." Shubie grabs a bucket runs over to the lagoon and fills it with water.
Shubie: "See for yourself." Shubie hands Nat the bucket. Nat looks into it and sees his reflection, revealing that his has a horrible sunburn.
Nat: "Holy fishpaste! You were right Shubie, I look awful. I’ve never had a sunburn this bad."
Shubie: "We need to get you off the beach. Susie! Get you’re brother and come over here! We need to go!" Susie grabs Baby Billy and runs over to Shubie. Susie sees Nat and screams.
Susie: "Is Daddy allergic to ice cream too?"
Shubie: "What? No, he just has a bad sunburn. Now get your things we have to go." Shubie and Susie pack up all their belongings. 
Shubie: "Nat, can you get up?" Nat tries to lift himself up but falls back on the ground. Nat groans.
Shubie: "It looks like I’m gonna have to carry him. Susie, try taking all of our stuff and your brother to the car. I’m gonna have to carry Dad there." Shubie hands Susie all of their stuff and Baby Billy. Shubie lifts Nat up and carries him to the car. Shubie drops Nat into the passenger seat and gets in the car.
Shubie: "Thanks for carrying all that to the car, Susie. It looks like we’re gonna need to take Dad to the hospital." Shubie starts the car and drives away.
(Scene cuts to Bikini Bottom Hospital)
Dr. Forrest: "Jumping jellyfish! This is one of the worst sunburns I’ve ever seen! "
Shubie: "So what’ll make him better, doc?"
Dr. Forrest: "Oh, I have no idea. Try putting a variety of sunscreens and other lotions on him. One of them will probably do the trick." Dr. Forrest walks away.
(Scene cute to Shubie, Nat, Susie and Baby Billy returning from the hospital) Shubie carries Nat into the house and puts him on a couch. Nat groans.
Shubie: "I’m sorry Nat, I hate seeing you in so much pain. But I promise I’ll be right by your side until this is over. I’ll call my manager and tell him that I won’t be at work until you fully recover. I’m sure he’ll understand." Someone knocks on the door.
Shubie: "I wonder who that could be." Shubie walks over to the front door and opens it. Sadie burst through the doorway.
Sadie: "I came as soon as I heard the news! How’s Nat doing?"
Shubie: "How did you hear about what happened? I haven’t told anyone about Nat’s sunburn and obviously he hasn't either."
Sadie: "Fred just got out of the hospital today from the sixth leg related injury he’s had this month and he told me that he overheard about what happened to Nat from the other room. Don’t worry though, Shubie, I can take care of Nat for you. It would be no trouble at all."
Shubie: "Well it was incredibly nice of you to offer that Sadie, but I was planning on taking care of Nat myself. I think I have everything under control."
Sadie: "But who will be watching him while you’re at work?"
Shubie: "I was planning on not going to work until he fully recovered."
Sadie: "Oh, Shubie, let’s not make irresponsible decisions here! We both know that you and Nat are currently treading water right now financially. What do you think will happen when both of you don’t go to work for a week, maybe a full month, or possibly even an entire year? Who knows? Think about where you’re family would be then because it sure as barnacles wouldn’t be in this neighborhood anymore! Let me take care of Nat for you, it really wouldn’t be a problem for me at all."
Shubie: "You make some good points. But don’t you have to work to? Who will be running Sadie’s Cookies?"
Sadie: "When you’re currently married to someone as wealthy as Fred is, closing my store for a little while will have almost no effect on me financially. Plus, I could always have Nazz run it occasionally if she ever gets bored sitting at home all day. So what do you say Shubie? I am a registered nurse after all."
Shubie: "Oh okay, it does make more sense if you watch after Nat. Thank you so much, Sadie! You truly are a wonderful friend."
Sadie: "No, thank you. Now I’ll have Nat all to myself for weeks!" Sadie laughs maniacally while Shubie looks at her confusedly.
Shubie: "What did you say?"
Sadie: "I was just, uh, asking if I could see him! I can’t wait to get started!" Sadie walks into Nat’s living room.
Sadie: "Oh Nat, you look horrible! But don’t worry now that I’m taking care of you you’ll be better in no time. But then, again the longer the better." Sadie laughs maniacally.
Nat: "What?"
Sadie: "Oh, uh, I was just, um, saying that we should put one of these lotions!" Sadie grabs a bottle of lotion and begins to rub it on Nat.
Sadie: "Oh I could get used to this." Sadie finishes putting the lotion on Nat and throws the bottle away.
Sadie: "So how do you feel?"
Nat: "About the same."
Sadie: "Ok well I guess that one won’t do the trick then, but don't worry we have many more to try out. And many more that I'll get to rub on you. So now that we're done with that, let’s pass time by trying to get to know each other better!" Sadie sits down on a chair.
Nat: "Ok, don't we already know each other pretty well though?"
Sadie: "Well there's always things we don’t know about each other. Like if you have a certain feeling about a certain coworker. So Nat, tell me everything!" Sadie pulls out a pen and a notepad.
(Scene cuts to Shubie cooking dinner) Shubie grabs a spoon and tastes one of the noodles in the pot.
Shubie: "Well it looks like these are done." Shubie turns off the stove and puts the noodles onto a plate. Shubie walks over to the living room.
Shubie: "Dinner's ready, Nat! Here you go." Shubie places the food next the couch Nat is lying on.
Shubie: "Thank you so much for all your help today Sadie! See you tomorrow!"
Sadie: "Oh no, I can't leave now! Who will be taking care of Nat while I'm gone? It's better if I watch Nat 24/7, that way I'll be right by his side in case there's a problem."
Shubie: "Oh ok, it's so nice of you to do all this for me and Nat. But don't you need to help your own family?"
Sadie: "Oh, don’t worry about it Shubie. It’s my job to keep Nat safe and I’ll do everything I can to make sure he’s okay. Plus, I should probably put lotion on him at least twice a day. I’ll even sleep right here on this chair so I can keep an eye on him. I'm sure that Fred and the kids are doing just fine right now anyway."
(Scene cuts to Fred’s house) Fred tries to cook something but it catches on fire.
Fred: "Uh oh, that can’t be good. I’d better call a pizza."
Monroe and Tommy: "Dad! We’re hungry!" Monroe and Tommy grab Baby Rechid.
Fred: "Hey, don’t try to eat your stepsister again! I’m calling the pizza place right now. Yes, I’d like to order two large pies. Ten dollars?! That’s outrageous! I’ll give you five, eight if you can deliver it in ten minutes. What do you mean you can’t lower the price?! Do you know who you’re talking to? I could probably buy your whole chain if I wanted to!"
Debbie: "Ugh! I can’t take this anymore! I’m eating dinner at my boyfriend’s house."
Fred: "Oh no you’re not, Debbie! I don’t trust that guy."
Debbie: "How could you not trust him? You don’t even know his name!" Debbie walks out of the house.
(Scene cuts back to Shubie and Sadie)
Sadie: "Yep, they’re probably just fine."
Shubie: "Ok, well thank you so much for doing all this, Sadie! I really appreciate it. If you ever need anything or any help just let me know." Shubie walks away.
Sadie: "Oh I most certainly won’t! Nat’s all mine! So Nat, do you need any help eating that?" Sadie gets down on her knees and begins to feed Nat his pasta.
Sadie: "Oh I could get use to this." Through the window over the couch Nat is lying on, smoke is shown to be coming out of Fred’s house. The Bikini Bottom Fire Department comes to put out the fire. Fred runs out of his house.
Fred: "My leg’s on fire!"
(Scene cuts to the next morning) Nat wakes up and sees Sadie sleeping right next to him with her head against his stomach.
Nat: "Sadie, what are you doing?" Sadie wakes up and gets off Nat.
Sadie: "Oh, uh... I must’ve been sleep walking last night! Yeah, I used to that all the time when I was little. I guess I still do it now." Sadie laughs awkwardly.
Sadie: "Well I’d better put some more lotion on. Let’s try this one." Sadie grabs a bottle and begins to rub lotion on Nat.
Sadie: "Oh, I’m the luckiest woman in the sea. Well now that that’s done, where we yesterday? I think you where right at the part when you admitted that you had feelings for a certain orange woman." Sadie sits down in her chair and pulls out the pen and paper.
(Scene cuts to a montage of Sadie putting lotion on Nat as a huge pile of notepads grows next to the chair) Sadie finishes putting lotion on Nat. Sadie throws the lotion bottle onto a pile of the other empty ones.
Sadie: "Well that was the last bottle and you’re still as red as ever. But look on the bright side, now we’ll get to spend even more time together! So let’s continue where we left off. I think we had just gotten to your 23rd birthday." Sadie grabs her pen and another notepad. Shubie walks into the room.
Shubie: "Is everything okay? What’s up with all these notepads? They’re all over the floor."
Sadie: "Oh, Nat and I tell each other funny stories sometimes to, you know, pass time."
Shubie: "Oh ok that sounds like fun. Has he told you about how he proposed to me yet?" Sadie’s eye twitches.
Sadie: "No, he hasn’t."
Shubie: "Oh ok, well if you need any help just let me know! Say, do you need me to get any more lotion? Or try some new brands because these ones don’t seem to be working too well."
Sadie: "Oh no, Shubie, it’s fine! I’ve got everything under control! Nat will be all better in no time!"
Shubie: "Okay Sadie, you’re the expert after all! Wait, those bottles all look empty though. Are you sure you don’t need me to get anymore?"
Sadie: "Nope! Everything’s under control!" Shubie walks past Sadie and looks at the pile of empty bottles.
Shubie: "Sadie, these are all empty."
Sadie: "Oh they are? I had no idea! I thought that there was at least one or two full ones left. Silly me!" Sadie laughs awkwardly.
Shubie: "Oh it’s okay, I know how overwhelmed you’ve been taking care of Nat practically all by yourself. You probably just didn’t notice. But don’t worry, I’ll go buy some more after work today. And I’ll try to get new brands too because those ones don’t seem to work." Shubie walks away. Sadie sighs.
Sadie: "Wonderful."
(Scene cuts to Shubie at a pharmaceutical store) Shubie walks down the Sunburn Ointment section in one of the aisles and looks around at the different lotions on the shelves. 
Shubie: "Oh, there‘s so many different ones to choose from. How could I know which ones will heal Nat." Shubie backs into someone’s shopping cart while looking at the different lotions.
Shubie: "Oh, I’m so sorry."
Woman: "Oh, that’s alright. Wait a minute, is that Shubie?" Shubie turns around to face the woman.
Shubie: "Yes, why... Jennifer-Millie?! I haven’t seen you in years!"
Jennifer-Millie: "I know I can’t believe it’s been so long. It feels like only yesterday we were playing softball together at Bikini Bottom High."
Shubie: "I know right! It seems like only a few days ago you hit that two run home run against Bass Vegas to get us to the state championship."
Jennifer-Millie: "Oh, that was just a lucky hit." Shubie laughs.
Shubie: "Nonsense! You were quite the power hitter back then! You definitely would’ve batted cleanup on any other team."
Jennifer-Millie: "Yeah and maybe I would’ve played in college too if you hadn’t batted in front of me." Jennifer and Shubie laugh.
Shubie: "So how’s everything been going?"
Jennifer-Millie: "It’s been going great, me and Jimmy got married a few years ago."
Shubie: "Oh, Tom’s cousin? Congratulations Jennifer, I’m so happy for you! Do you two have any kids."
Jennifer-Millie: "No, but we’re thinking about having some in the future. It’s probably best that we haven’t had any yet because we’ve moved quite a bit recently. We actually lived in New Kelp City for a little while, but then we moved back here a little more than a year ago when I got offered a job at Bikini Bottom Hospital."
Shubie: "Oh, you’re a nurse now?"
Jennifer-Mille: "Yes, I actually was named the head nurse a few months ago after Sadie Rechid resigned so she could open a cookie store and pursue some guy. What was his name again? Nathan? I don’t really remember but she talked about him all the time."
Shubie: "Pursue some guy? You must be mistaken. Sadie’s been married to Fred for a couple years now. Plus, I don’t know of anyone named Nathan."
Jennifer-Millie: "Yeah, maybe. So what brings you to the pharmacy? I’m just here to get some rash ointment. One of my patients has a really bad rash on his arms."
Shubie: "I’m trying to figure out which sunburn ointment is the best. Nat got a really bad sun burn two weeks ago and he still hasn’t recovered from it."
Jennifer-Millie: "Oh you and Nat are still together? I wasn’t sure because it seems like a lot of people have split since Jimmy and I moved back."
Shubie: "Nope, we had some rough patches but we’re still going strong. It’ll be eight years next spring."
Jennifer-Millie: "Congratulations Shubie! I can only hope that Jimmy and I will last that long."
Shubie: "Oh, I’m sure you will! You two seem like such a good couple."
Jennifer-Mille: "Thanks, Shubie. Anyway, speaking of sunburn ointments, you should definitely get this one." Jennifer-Millie grabs a bottle of Super Spectacular Sunburn Healer.
Shubie: "Super Spectacular Sunburn Healer?"
Jennifer-Millie: "Yep, this’ll definitely do the trick. Trust me, I know as a nurse and from personal experience that this stuff really works." Jennifer-Millie hands Shubie the bottle.
Shubie: "Thanks so much, Jennifer! It was really nice seeing you after so long. We definitely have to catch up again sometime."
Jennifer-Millie: "I’d love to! Just let me know whenever you’re free."
Shubie: "Ok I will!" Shubie walks away.
(Scene cuts to Sadie watching Nat while he’s taking a nap)
Sadie: "Oh, he’s so handsome even when he’s asleep. Look at those gorgeous muscles! And that six pack’s coming in nicely too." Shubie walks into the house. Sadie jumps away from Nat and into the pile of notepads on her chair.
Shubie: "Hey, Sadie! I just got back from the store and got Nat some new lotion!"
Sadie (sarcastically): "That’s great, Shubie! What did you get him?" Shubie takes the bottle out of her shopping bag and hands it to Sadie.
Sadie: "The Super Spectacular Sunburn Healer?!"
Shubie: "Yeah, I ran into Jennifer-Millie at the pharmaceutical store today and she told me that this will cure Nat for sure."
Sadie: "You ran into Jennifer? Did she tell you anything about me being madly in love with a certain yellow fish?"
Shubie: "No, she didn’t say anything about that."
Sadie: "Oh ok, just making sure! You know how women love to make up rumors!" Sadie awkwardly laughs.
Shubie: "Don’t worry, Sadie, even if she had made up something about you I wouldn’t believe it. I know what a great and loyal friend you are, you’d never try to hurt others for your own personal gain."
Sadie: "Heh, heh. Yep, that’s definitely me!" Sadie laughs awkwardly.
Shubie: "So are you going to put the lotion on Nat now?"
Sadie: "What? This thing? Jennifer doesn’t know what she’s talking about it’s never going to work. Your best bet is to get those other lotions you bought before. After a few more months of my care, Nat will be perfectly fine." Sadie throws the Super Spectacular Sunburn Healer bottle in the trash can behind her.
Shubie: "Are you sure? Jennifer seemed pretty confident about it."
Sadie: "Oh yeah, that airhead doesn‘t know anything about curing sunburns, trust me."
Shubie: "Ok, but shouldn’t we at least try it out before throwing it away? It wouldn’t hurt to try it." Shubie walks past Sadie and grabs the bottle.
Sadie: "Oh please, Shubie. You’re just wasting your time. Listen to me I’m the expert here. You’re just some idiot who works at a clothing store." Shubie walks over to Nat.
Shubie: "I just want to try it out, Sadie. You never know until you try." Sadie gets nervous.
Sadie: "No Shubie stop! You could undo all of his progress by pouring that onto him! It could give him other health problems too! I heard that that lotion damages the liver! It could give him a headache! It could makes his nose run for ever! It could make him claustrophobic!" Shubie doesn’t listen to Sadie and pours the lotion on Nat. Nat jumps up. 
Nat: "I’m cured! You saved me, Shubie!" Shubie and Nat hugs. Sadie groans.
Sadie: "Well that was great while it lasted. I guess it’s time to head back to my awful family." Sadie walks out Nat’s house and across the street to hers. A pot of meatloaf flies through an open window and hits her in the face.
Fred (from inside): "Boys! The meatloaf just flew out the window! It looks like we’re getting pizza again tonight!"
(Scene ends)
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