Cook or Die

Cook or Die is the tenth episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired August 10, 2019 and was written by DanzxvFan8275 and Purple133.
== Transcript ==
(Episode opens at Team Hell)
Vanessa: Guys, we can’t lose again. 
Elli: Hopefully the next challenge is slightly easier than this one. 
SBCA: Yeah. At least Steve and his stupidity is finally gone. 
(Joey confessional)
Joey: So I saw the way Purps looked at Elli yesterday and simply thought: oh, Elli can be the next vote. Relationships always drag people down in games like these, I should know. Actually I shouldn’t, but they do!
(Cut to Team Steve)
Dan: Hey Granite!
Granite: Hey Dan? Why are you randomly acting nice to me?
Dan: Oh, no reason.
(Dan confessional)
Dan: I’m totally going to destroy Granite. Slowly, but surely, he will be taken down. 
(Cut to Granite talking to Para again)
Granite: So Para, I think Dan has to go. I don’t think we can trust him not to try to lose intentionally for us again. 
Para: Wasn’t that like a few days ago?
Granite: Yeah, but still! We don’t know if he has his own agenda and wants one of us gone.
(Granite confessional)
Granite: Dan’s a damn fool. That’s all.
(Dan spying on their conversation)
Dan: Oh trust me, I won’t intentionally lose this time. I have a better idea.
Purps: Do you, though?
Dan: Well… no.
Purps: Well I guess it depends on what the challenge is. Hopefully I get to talk to Elli today!
Crazy: Purps you need to calm down. 
(Cut to the challenge)
Alex: Welcome to your ninth challenge everybody! 
Waluigi: WAH! I get to announce it today! For today’s challenge, your teams will be cooking! What will you be cooking? I don’t care as long as you bring us an appetizer, entree, and dessert! NOW COOK OR DIE.
Joey: Woah wait what?
Granite: I don’t feel like dying today. 
Alex: Waluigi will now take you to your kitchens.
(Waluigi brings both teams to their kitchens and Alex comes on through a loudspeaker)
Alex: Alright, there are pantries next to the kitchens with a lot of crap. Now you have exactly 90 minutes to get cooking. Go!
(Cut to Team Hell)
Vanessa: We need a plan.
Elli: I can handle an entree!
SBCA: I can get the appetizer. Some good old fashion Filipino food. 
Vanessa: I can plate the things and make it look nice, so who’s got dessert?
Cici: I can do that.
Joey: Wait what about me?
SBCA: Um you can ummmmmm get ice! For the drinks!
Joey: Oh, okay!
(SBCA confessional)
SBCA: Joey’s lit the oven on fire in our team base so many times none of us trust him to do any of the cooking.
(Cut to Team Steve)
Dan: Hey wait, I didn’t see Steve over there.
Para: No. nonononono.
Crazy: OMG WHYYYY!
Purps: Guys let’s focus. What should our entree be?
Granite: Maybe steak? 
Purps: Sounds good. Maybe we serve it with fries and some sautéed asparagus?
Ian: Purps, since when were you such a good nerd?
Purps: Since I started watching Masterchef in 2013.
Ian: Makes sense.
Purps: Since when did you start having actual lines?
Ian: No clue. Okay so for the appetizer maybe we do like mozzarella bites? 
Purps: That sounds good.
(Image confessional)
Image: So all the guys get together and start planning and I’m once again stuck in man-land, but I now see a chance to make a dessert idea. I guess.
(Cut back to Team Steve)
Image: I can do cake for dessert.
Purps: Alright sure. Let’s get cooking!
(Cut to Team Hell, SBCA is working on the appetizer)
SBCA: Oh the camera is recording me. Well for today’s challenge I’m making traditional Filipino spring rolls. I’ve never practiced my knife skills so I decided, why not try to chop vegetables?
(SBCA chops up lettuce but unintentionally sliced his finger open)
SBCA: OH SHIT! I CAN’T WORK ANYMORE. wait I have to or else….
Joey: SBCA can I do the work you can’t do anymore?
SBCA: NO! Please no!
Elli: It’s fine!
Joey: Yay!
(Joey starts trying to make the spring rolls, cut to Ian and Para working on the mozzarella bites)
Ian: Hey Para so who are you voting if we somehow lose?
Para: 100% Dan, he can’t be trusted. Or that’s what Granite said.
Ian: Now I know Granite told you that, but Granite is all over the place right now. So what if we vote against him?
Para: That’s actually not a bad idea.
(Ian confessional)
Ian: These mothafuckers only saw me as the guy who says that word, but I’ll prove I can be a master strategist in this game.
(Cut to Image and Purps baking the dessert)
Image: So what color should we decorate the cake with?m
Purps: Purple, duh.
Image: Oh yeah, that makes sense. 
(The oven dings)
Purps: I was talking to Dan about maybe voting out Granite if we lose?
Image: Sounds cool as long as I don’t get any votes.
Purps: You got it.
(Cut to Elli cooking lamb chops)
Elli: La la la la. Hey Vanessa, how do these lamb chops look?
Vanessa: Great! Make sure you’re using the correct spices! Cici, how’s the strawberry shortcake coming along?
Cici: Marvelous.
(Vanessa confessional)
Vanessa: Yeah, this team is doing good. I’m kinda going around tasting everything, and nothing worries me. Well, except the spring rolls. Joey took over for SBCA and I am seriously concerned.
(Vanessa walks over to Joey)
Vanessa: How’s it going?
(The oven lights on fire)
Joey: There’s your answer. SBCA was right, I can’t do this! We’re going to lose again because of me, and then I’ll get out!
SBCA: Joey, I’m sorry I said those things. I believe that if you try your hardest, you can succeed and get us the win!
Joey: I can still save them!
Vanessa: Wait aren’t spring rolls deep fried?
Joey: I deep fried them and finished by baking them.
SBCA: You got this bro!
(Joey pulls the spring rolls out, cut to Granite, Bot, Dan, and Golf working on sautéing)
Granite: Golf, you’re sautéing stuff, right?
Bot: Wait if I’m doing that, Dan’s grilling the steak, and Golf’s working on the sautéeingwhat exactly are you doing?
Granite: Managing. 
Bot: Oh, okay.
(Dan confessional)
Dan: Granite may seem nice and quirky, but right now he’s not really doing anything. I want him gone, so now I have more reasons to have everyone get rid of him. 
(Cut to Bot making the fries, they start burning)
Bot: Oh no the fries are burning.
(Both teams quickly plays but the fries aren’t put on team Steve’s entree, but nobody notices)
Alex: Alright Everyone 90 minutes are up, bring us your dishes!
Bot: Right here. 
(Bot brings up all three dishes on the same platter)
Image: Wait where are the fries?
Bot: Um.
(Joey brings up team hell’s dishes on the same platter)
Alex: First we’ll judge appetizers. Team Hell, what do you have?
Joey: SBCA started them and I finished, but here we have some traditional Filipino spring rolls. 
Waluigi: WAH! They have the delicious golden brown color that spring rolls should have.
(Waluigi eats one)
Waluigi: Woah, these taste amazing.
(Joey confessional)
Joey: Yessssssssssssssss.
(Back to the tasting)
Waluigi: Now we’ll taste Team Steve’s mozzarella bites.
Bot: Ian and Para made them.
(Waluigi takes a bite)
Waluigi: Not many issues, they just need more salt. Let’s taste Team Steve’s entree.
Bot: Ok so I have here a steak with sautéed asparagus and some other vegetables. There were fries but I burned them. Also Granite did nothing. 
Granite: Hey!
Waluigi: WAH! It tastes like shit. 
Granite: Guys!
Dan: Don’t blame us, you knew how to do it and didn’t help!
Granite: Because I thought you knew how to GRILL STEAK!
Waluigi: Silence. Now we’ll taste Team Hell’s entree. 
Joey: Elli cooked herb crusted lamb chops.
Waluigi: WAH! Tastes amazing! Bring on your dessert Team Steve.
Bot: Okay so Purps and Image made this purple cake. 
Waluigi: WAH! Points for it being purple, but why is half of it missing?
(Bot glares at Purps and Image who shrug their shoulders)
Waluigi: Well at least the part I got tastes good. Team Hell?
Joey: Cici made strawberry shortcake.
Waluigi: THIS IS INCREDIBLE. FREAKING INCREDIBLE. TEAM HELL WINS, TEAM STEVE WILL GO TO THE ELIMINATION CEREMONY. 
Granite: Crap!
Crazy: o
(Cut to Team Steve)
Dan: (talking to everybody except Granite, Para, and Bot) so I say we vote out Granite. 
Purps: I don’t see an issue with that. Why did we not include Bot?
Dan: He can’t be trusted.
(Bot walks into a wall)
Image: That totally checks out.
(Granite and Para are talking)
Granite: Listen I know I’m screwed, but can you at least vote Dan with me bro?
Para: Sure. 
(Cut to the elimination ceremony)
Alex: Alright, vote!
(Cut to Bot voting)
Bot: My calculations say that men are 7 times less likely to get pregnant then women.
(Cut back to the ceremony)
Alex: Alright you guys know how this works, so here’s who lives to see another day. Bot, Crazy, Para. 
Bot: Yes.
Purps: 27.
Crazy: What does that even mean?
Alex: Golf, Image, Ian. 
Image: Yay, thanks!
Alex: Purps. 
Purps: Ooo, dodged a bullet.
Alex: Dan, looks like you’re in the bottom two again. Granite, how do you feel?
Granite: I know I’m dead. 
Alex: Correct Granite, you’re gone. 
Granite: Well guys, I’m sorry for the trouble I caused I never meant it to end like this. Now for a thirty minute speech I wrote in case I ever got out. I started this journey ab-
Waluigi: WAH! No time for that, please come with me to the Loser’s Lounge.
Granite: Dang it.
(Episode ends)
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