Transcripts/Gwonam Buys an X-wing on eBay

This is the transcribed dialogue and actions from the episode Gwonam Buys an X-wing on eBay.
Hyrule Castle, Inside.
Gwonam: Your Majesty, look what I got on eBay!
King Harkinian is seen typing something on his laptop.
King Harkinian: I don't care.
silence
Gwonam: It's an X-Wing.
Harkinian: OAH!
Harkinian knocks his desk over, shocking Gwonam.
Harkinian: OOAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Gwonam: STOP!
He gets a punch from Harkinian.
Harkinian: Let me see! 
He spots it at the window.
Harkinian: Ah!
He runs outside.
Gwonam: No, Your Majesty! You must not enter the X-Wing! Only I can-
But the King already boarded the X-Wing... and he departs.
Gwonam *banging the window*: FUCK!
Harkinian is listening to "American Woman" while piloting the X-Wing.
But then, Gwonam enters the COMM system.
Gwonam: Exit the X-Wing now, Your Majesty.
Harkinian: Not going to happen! I'm going to space.
Gwonam: It is written, you are an asshole!
American Woman resumes playing. Peppy Hare from Star Fox appears on the COMM.
Peppy: Do a barrel roll!
Harkinian: OOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
He does a barrel roll and throttles up.
Harkinian: Onward to space!
He departs for space and immediately encounters a Star Destroyer. Gwonam comes on the COMM system again.
Gwonam: Your Majesty, where the hell are you going?
Harkinian: I'm under attack!
Gwonam: Approach carefully and fire photon torpedoes!
Harkinian: OAH! What photons?
Gwonam: Umm... I meant proton!
Imperial Officer: They're moving to attack position.
Harkinian wildly attacks the Star Destroyer's bridge.
Harkinian: AAAAAAAAHHHH-
Imperial Officer: Shields up!
Gwonam: Harkinian, I plotted a course out of there!
Harkinian: Where is it?
Gwonam: Here!
​​​​Gwonam remotely sends the ship into hyperspace.
​​​Harkinian: OOOAAAHHH!!!
​​​​Gwonam: You're safe now.​​​​​
After a couple moments, Harkinian exits hyperspace... directly into the second Death Star's access tunnel!
Harkinian: HAO! Where the fuck am I!?
​​​​Gwonam: Bullshit..! You entered the Death Star. Take it out!
​​​​Harkinian glances the side of his ship off of a pipe.
​​​Harkinian: Fuck!
Harkinian suddenly notices the hyper accelerator coming up. 
Entering it, he shoots forward at 933+ MGLT, smashing him against his seat.
Harkinian: HAAAAAAAAAOOOO!!
Harkinian suddenly decelerates dramatically, throwing him against the screen.
Gwonam: Your Majesty, look out! Fighters inbound!
Harkinian madly maneuvers his ship, trying to shake off the incoming TIEs.
Gwonam: Right turn ahead!
Harkinian turns the opposite way.
Gwonam: Your military right, idiot! (to Link) Hark's going to the superlaser! 
Link: Oh! King, fly back!
Harkinian: Mah boi, is that you?
Link: Yeah! It's your boi!
Harkinian is having difficulty shaking off a TIE following closely behind him.
Harkinian: SAVE ME!
Harkinian reaches the entrance to the superlaser, which begins to fire.
Gwonam: LOOK OUT! 
Harkinian: OAH! WHOA!
Harkinian takes a few shots from behind.
Gwonam: Take the laser out.
Harkinian fires two Concussion Missiles at the superlaser's lens, disabling it.
Gwonam: Now GO!
Link: MOVE it!
Gwonam: Remember to turn left.
Harkinian turns left into the correct tunnel, but takes more fire from the TIEs.
Harkinian: OAH! Help me! HAO!
Gwonam: Keep going!
Harkinian enters a large room with a reactor in the center.
Gwonam: Ah! This is it. Go for the power regulator on the north tower!
Harkinian orients his ship, pointing at the power regulator.
Harkinian: This here?
Gwonam: Yes.
Harkinian fires two Concussion Missiles at the power regulator.
Gwonam: Now the reactor! Hurry up already!
Harkinian fires two more missiles at the tip of the reactor.
Gwonam: GO, GO! Get out of there!
Harkinian: OOAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
The reactor explodes, sending a fireball up the tunnel towards Harkinian. The background music intensifies.
Gwonam: Move the fleet away from the Death Star.
Link: What fleet?
Gwonam stares at Link in disbelief as Harkinian bumps his starfighter against another obstacle in the tunnel.
Gwonam: Uh-!
Link: Nnngh!
Harkinian hits yet ANOTHER obstacle. 
Link shakes in fear of the thought of Harkinian crashing and dying.
Gwonam: My X-wing will be SO fucked up after this.... 
Gwonam: Must go faster! 
Gwonam: What the hell's that sound?!
A rumbling sound comes from behind Harkinian. 
The explosion blast is right behind him.
Harkinian: OAH! SAVE ME!
Gwonam: Uh...Y-Your Majesty, think about dinner.
Harkinian is about to reach the exit.
Harkinian:.... ooooooooOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Harkinian BARELY escapes just as the explosion reaches the end of the tunnel.
Harkinian: YES!
M. Bison: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, yes, yes, yes!!
Chuggaaconroy: OH MY GOD!!!
NintendoCapriSun: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
AVGN: MY GOD-
Dr. Robotnik: NO!
The video abruptly cuts to black.
Harkinian: I shit myself..
The video ends shortly after.
Category:Transcripts