Weasel

Weasel is a character from Marvel Comics, who is a friend, tech dupporter, sidekick, and punching bag/prisoner of Deadpool.
==Biography==
===Early life===
Weasel attended the same college as Peter Parker. If not for a time traveling Deadpool posing as Peter Parker and taking Weasel on a drinking binge, Weasel's life as an A student wouldn't have been ruined, ending up with him as a loser specializing in technology. He eventually became a weapons dealer and partner to Deadpool, as well as a somewhat reluctant friend
===Meeting Deadpool===
Weasel's friendship with Deadpool took him to Madripoor where he was present during the hunt for Tolliver's will, wherein Deadpool, Copycat, Garrison Kane & Slayback were all seeking out what the late and mysterious Mr. Tolliver's weapons cache contained. This mission, like others Weasel would accompany Deadpool on, would nearly cost him his life; though Weasel isn't quite as defenseless as his meek demeanor might suggest as, at one point during this story he defends himself against the mercenary Comcast; shooting him in the head.
Later, Weasel develops a strange relationship with Deadpool's live-in buddy/hostage, " Blind Al". Blind Al is easily twice Weasel's age and is a frail old woman and yet Weasel is compelled to spend time with her while Deadpool isn't around, against Deadpool's wishes. On one such occasion Deadpool catches Weasel in his house and locks both Weasel and Blind Al in "the box"; a room bereft of light but full of pointed objects, both stationary and swinging to jab themselves upon. Somehow or other, after this, Weasel and Deadpool still manage to patch things up.
He once took control of a Hydra base, becoming their leader and inventing the "Penetrator," a device that provided much innuendo and could also teleport people anywhere. He equipped all of the Hydra agents with one, and had the devices programmed to send them away. Wolverine attacked the base, not realizing that Weasel was just executing an elaborate plan. Wolverine damaged the armor, and Weasel quickly tried to explain that it was called the penetraitor armor, and that he was trying to remove the agents from the base. The damaged penetrator then sent Weasel, Deadpool, and Bob, Agent of HYDRA, tumbling through space and time, although Weasel was separated from the other two.
Eventually Weasel traveled to Las Vegas in hopes of getting some quick cash at the casinos, however he soon learned that when super villains need cash they don't rob banks, they rob casinos and rather than get money from one casino why not charge for his services as a "bodyguard" and earn money from all of them.
It was then that using a suit of armor he made, Weasel became "The House" (Because in Las Vegas the house always wins)
Weasel eventually was hired to kill Deadpool, when Deadpool blew up the club of a man who talked trash about him on television. Weasel managed to take Deadpool down and put him in his own upgraded version of "The Box" however Deadpool escaped and offered to make a deal with Weasel and that if he refused he would beat him to death with a hammer. Weasel accepted Deadpool's offer in order to earn twice the cash and to prevent from being killed.
When Grizzly tries to rob a casino he is stopped by Weasel and Deadpool (Who is in his own suit of armor and now going by the name "Wild Card") but as soon as Deadpool and Grizzly are alone, Deadpool reveals himself to Grizzly and offers to make him a deal.
Deadpool and Weasel end the fight but Grizzly managed to escape. Weasel and Deadpool meet the owners of the casinos where Deadpool reveals himself as Wild Card.
Weasel later yells at Deadpool for making him look like an idiot on public television and for getting him in trouble with the casino owners. Deadpool suggests that they switch places, Deadpool will be "The House" and Weasel can be "Wild Card" that way when Deadpool wins a fight, Weasel will get all of the credit. Weasel agrees to this even though he doesn't like being the sidekick.
Grizzly robs a casino and Deadpool (As "The House") and Weasel (As "Wild Card") begin to fight him. Deadpool runs off to have some drinks while Weasel continues to fight Grizzly. Weasel manages to take down Grizzly and becomes a hero in the public eye. Deadpool later walks in as "The House" and is booed by the crowd for ditching the fight. Deadpool later grabs the money and Grizzly and the two fly off.
After that, everyone in Las Vegas thinks that it was Weasel who flew off with the money and was working with Grizzly. Weasel's name has been ruined all because he listened to Deadpool and switched places. Weasel goes into hiding and the casino owners turn to Deadpool for help in protecting the city, without knowing that he is actually the one working with Grizzly.
After a lengthy talk with Blind Al, Weasel decides to stand up against Deadpool and flys back to Las Vegas as Wildcard. Him and Deadpool (As the House) get into a fight which ends with Weasel blowing Deadpool's head off. Weasel then stops Grizzly and becomes a hero again.
Weasel goes back to his home-base and talks to Blind Al again who tells him to leave town before Deadpool's head grows back and Deadpool decides to hunt him down. While packing Weasel gets a call from the casino owners who tell him that the body of Deadpool was never found. Weasel turns around to see Deadpool standing right there behind him. Weasel thinks that Deadpool is going to kill him but as it turns out Deadpool tells him that everyone still thinks that Deadpool was in the Wildcard suit and thus everyone thinks that Deadpool is still a hero and Weasel is still a villain.
Deadpool tells Weasel that he is now a wanted fugitive and to lay low. Deadpool is now going to take over as hero of Las Vegas and as punishment puts Weasel in "the box".
Deadpool apparently forgot about Weasel, who was left trapped in the box. He was freed by Macho Gomez after staying in 'the box' for an unknown duration. Weasel joined up with Blind Al, Big Bertha, Macho Gomez, Taskmaster, and Sluggo to take revenge on Deadpool for being a lousy friend.
=== Patient Zero ===
Going by the name Patient Zero, Weasel decided to take revenge on Deadpool and Spider-Man. He started off hiring Deadpool to kill Peter Parker, he then hired Mysterio to create a distraction at Parker industries for Deadpool and Spider-Man to find. While Mysterio kept the pair busy Weasel planted cruel scientific experiments inside the building for Deadpool to find so that he'd want to kill Parker because he was a bad person.
The planted evidence worked as intended and Deadpool killed Parker. While Parker was dead Weasel disguised himself as Peter and gathered up all the company's information on genetic splicing. Using the genetics of both Deadpool and Spider-Man he created Itsy Bitsy as a reminder of how delusional the public has become by making Deadpool a hero, and that they needed to be reminded of his cruel and murderous ways.
However he made her too well and she was after him. He went to Deadpool and Spider-man to confess what he's done and who he was in exchange for their help but before he could fully go into the details of his plan he was killed by Itsy Bitsy.
Wade later spoke to "Patient Zero" in hell where he revealed himself to be Weasel and that his anger over being left in the box was the reasoning for his revenge.
===Married Life===
Through unrevealed means, Weasel returned to the land of the living in his normal human form. He fell in love with a woman named Clarice and married her. Weasel initially hoped to lead a normal life, but found it was hard to let go of his past hobbies. Since Clarice had no idea of his criminal life, Weasel decided to continue working as a weapons dealer discreetly.
During one of his jobs, Deadpool crossed paths with the Assassins Guild and killed several of their operatives, angering Belladonna. In retaliation, she sent agents to Weasel's house, which resulted in Weasel telling Clarice about his secret job. Weasel and Clarice were saved by Deadpool and his protégée, Threnody, and taken to Hellhouse to lie low. When Deadpool raided the Assassins Guild's headquarters in New Orleans, he took Weasel, Clarice and Weasel to a motel nearby. Assassins Guild agents tracked them down, but Deadpool had prepared a trap, misleading the Assassin Guild into checking a room rigged with explosives, which gave Weasel and Clarice a window to escape. However, Weasel was impaled from behind by a mercenary that was waiting for them in their escape vehicle. Before Threnody took off with Clarice, she got to tell Weasel that she was pregnant. Deadpool found Weasel when he returned to the motel, and he died almost immediately afterwards, telling Wade he always knew he'd die looking at his ugly face.
Weasel was then later resurrected.
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