Cult Vs Atlantis

Cult vs Atlantis is the fifth episode of Cult of Squid and the season one finale. It aired January 3rd, 2019 and was written by Locknloaded23.
== Plot ==
The cult decide to try to take over Atlantis.
== Transcript ==
(Episode begins with a shot of the outside of the Cult)
Squidward: (offscreen) YOU FOOL!
(Cuts to the inside of the cult where Squidward is on his throne looking furious at a cult member with a burrito on a plate)
Squidward: i asked you to give me a burrito WITHOUT mayo! (Opens burrito and stares at it for a few seconds) And where is the canned bread?
Cult member: b-but sir, w-w-w-
Squidward: FOOL! (knocks burrito out of the member's hand) MAKE IT AGAIN!
cult member: FINE (walks off) (under breath while walking off) i wish you still had that shock collar.
Squidward: WHAT WAS THAT!?
cult member: (offscreen) nothing!
Doctor Crayons: (offscreen) ow! Stupid megalodon!
Squidward: (sighs) im working with f(dolphin noise) IMBECILES!
Security: (walks in) uh, brother squidward?
Squidward: WHAT?!
security: the cult members and i-
(Camera pans to face towards the door of the throne room. The initiator is outside the door)
The initiator: hi! (Waves)
(Pans back)
Security: -have been noticing you have been getting more and more angrier everyday.
Squidward: PREPOSTEROUS!
(Text appears on the top right that says “fancy word count: 0” and the 0 changes to one. It goes offscreen)
Squidward: IVE ALWAYS HAD THIS TEMPER AND YOU ARE DUMB AND I-
(Doctor Crayons jumps from behind the throne and gives Squidward a pill)
Squidward: i- uh- feel better. (Faces dr c) what was that anyway?
Doctor Crayons: a chill pill.
(A drum rimshot is heard off-screen)
Squidward: (looks at a fish offscreen) thanks, fred.
(Camera moves over to fred at a drumset)
Fred: no prob.
(A trapdoor opens beneath him to the cage and he falls in)
Fred: (while falling) AHHH! (Thud) my leg!
(Cuts back to Squidward)
Squidward: I'm sorry, i guess i have been bored ever since we've ruled the entire sea.
Security: and those feathered freaks haven't attacked us in a while.
The initiator: (offscreen) not exactly, brother squidward.
(He runs in holding a map)
The initiator: there's still one spot you haven't taken over.
Squidward: WHAT?!
initiator: uh, yeah.
Noseward: (walks in) uh, brother squidward, there's a burrito on the floo- (notices security, noseward and Squidward) oh, did i miss something?
Security: wait, initiator, you don't mean…
Initiator: yep, i mean.
Noseward: i'm confused, what does he mean? Someone help me out here.
Squidward: (slams tentacle on throne) IMPOSSI- (rubs hand) ow! I gotta stop doing that.
Initiator: well, uh, let me just show you. (Unrolls a sheet of paper. The picture on the paper isnt shown yet.)
Squidward: oh my neptune…
(Cuts to a zoomed in shot
Security: but- it's not-
(Cuts to a shot of noseward eating the burrito)
Noseward:  mmm…
(Cuts back to Squidward)
Squidward: wow… (zooms out to reveal on the paper was a picture of Atlantis) i-is that-
Initiator: yep.
Security: that place doesn't even exist!
Squidward: actually, it-
Initiator: I've been studying the whereabouts of this lost civilization for 3 months now. Legends say there's a mysterious artifact that will allow transportation to Atlantis, however no one has found it yet.
Squidward: actually, i-
Security: but hows we gon’ fi- (clears throat) but how are we gonna find it?
Initiator: legends say that the artifact is-
Squidward: hey, i went there once! It was paradise!
Initiator: oh yeah, and how?
Squidward: I used the amulet which is (slows speech) now in atlantis…
Security: so what, is atlantis safe or something?
Initiator: not exactly. There has also been rumors of a map that leads to Atlantis, and I found it the other day.
Security: but how?
Initiator: I was exploring the mountains then tripped over a treasure chest poking outta the ground. Where do you think I've been for the past 4 months?
Security: oh.
Squidward: well then we're off to Atlantis-
Initiator: well, that'll be hard, cuz it's 100 miles away. We'll have to walk. On foot.
Security: dont you have a boat or something?
Initiator: no.
Noseward: (offscreen) oo, fly! (Munching noises)
Squidward: when I went to atlantis some sort of flying bus came and carried me over.
Noseward: (offscreen) just a minute (walks onscreen) i think i remember seeing some sorta magic bus.
Initiator: where?
Noseward: i was walking to the bathroom and out the window i saw a bus fly over the horizon.
Initiator: when was this?
Noseward: November 12th, 2007 I believe. Course, this was before I was a nose.
Initiator: well, we're gonna have to find this city if we're ever gonna rule the entire bikini bottom.
Squidward: we just need the flying bus.
Initiator: or we could use the map.
Squidward: that'll be tricky, this city is lost.
Initiator: we could drive. Just a sec. (Walks offscreen)
(3 seconds pass)
Squidward: uh, is he coming bac-
(The initiator crashes through the wall with a huge tank)
Squidward: WHAT THE-
Initiator: took me 2 months to build.
(Zooms into Squidward’s face)
Squidward: we're gonna need more than that.
(Unzooms)
(2 more tanks drive onscreen and Security and Noseward pop out of them)
Noseward: these are mega!
Security: you said it!
(Zooms back to Squidward)
Squidward: how di- I'm not hopping into that until i know it's safe and you repair those walls.
Initiator: (offscreen)  that won't be a problem.
(Zooms out to reveal them driving away in tanks and Squidward is in one. There's an enormous army of cult members behind them wielding various weapons)
Squidward: wha-
(Cuts to a shot of the tanks driving off. Plankton pokes his head onscreen facing the tanks)
Plankton: those fools are heading to Atlantis, eh? I've gotta tell the feathered freaks!
(Runs off)
(Commercial break)
(Cuts to a tank. Squidward is driving in the tank bored and behind him are all of the cult members)
Squidward: are we there yet?
The initiator: be quiet, you've asked that 5 times this hour!
Noseward: (humming the opening toon for the simpsons)
Squidward: (starts 'ba’-ing the theme)
Security: to victory! (Goes over a road bump) ow! As i was saying, to victo- (goes over another one) owwww!
(Cuts to a shot of the initiator with an annoyed look)
(Cuts to doctor crayons)
Dr c: if you carry the 3 and add a 5 you get the same thing but x couldn't be that so you have to
(Cuts to the initiator more annoyed. All of their babbling is going on in the background)
(Cuts to Security)
Security: (going over multiple bumps) ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
(Cuts to Squidward shouting the tune)
(Cuts to doctor crayons)
697 is an odd number meaning-
(Cuts to initiator flaming red)
Initiator: QUIET!
(cuts to shots of all except security stopping what they were doing and faces initiator)
(Cuts to Security)
Security: ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
(Cuts to initiator)
Initiator: we've only been traveling for 3 minutes and i already can't stand it!
Noseward: (offscreen) owowowowowowowow actually that one felt nice owowowowow
Initiator: you shut up too secuirty.
Security: (offscreen) owowow ok.
Initiator: my headache has migraines and is currently trying to shoot itself.
(Cuts to the inside of the krusty krab)
Spongebob: and (slams fist on palm) THAT'S how we rule over the cult!
Plankton: (hops onto table infront of sb)
Plankton: Spongebob! I have news about the squid cult!
Spongebob: we were in the middle of something but aight.
Plankton: they're (pants) they're… going to Atlantis!
Spongebob: WHAT?! WHY!
Plankton: (jumps onto spongebob's palm) to completely take over the sea or something.
Spongebob: well, we're not gonna let them! I say we (slams fist on palm and plankton screams) uh, sorry. We'll fight for Atlantis!
(Short pause)
Patrick: i could go for some nachos right now.
Spongebob: ooh, yeah, let's get nachos!
(They all walk off)
(Cut to Lord Royal Highness in his throne)
L.R.H: sure has been awfully quiet since November of 2007. Though those visitors did pop the bubble…
Atlantian guard: (runs in) Lord Royal highness! Bad news!
L.R.H: What? What? What?! More visitors?!
Atlantian guard: well, you could say that… But not good visitors.
L.R.H: what do you mean “not good visitors?”
Atlantian guard: well, they're sorta… coming with tanks and weapons.
L.R.H: WHAT?! let me see! (Grabs telescope) oh dear… it's the cult.
Guard: (gasp)
L.R.H: QUICKLY! call all the guards and unleash all our weapons! This is war!
(Multiple shots are shown of the atlantians loading up missiles and tanks)
(Multiple shots of the entire cult storming to atlantis)
(Cut to the cult breaking through the topiary garden. They see the many weapons and Brother squidward gasps. a few shots show of the cult looking angrily at the Atlantians and the atlantians looking angry at the cult)
Brother squidward: (after the shots and a short wait) FIGHT!
(Cut to a side shot of the 2 sides running towards eachother with multiple weapons and the fight begin)
(Cuts to the initiator punching atlantians)
Initiator: ha! Take that you lousy- (gets hit in the head with a cannon ball)
(Cuts to noseward fighting with spiked nunchucks)
(Cuts to Security firing bullets)
(Cuts to Doctor Crayons hitting atlantians with a chalkboard before getting knocked out by an Atlantian holding a baseball bat)
(Cut to L.R.H holding a sword)
L.R.H: FIGHT FOR ATLANTIS! FIGHT UNTIL WE WIN!
(cut to brother squidward)
Squidward: FIGHT FOR THE CULT! ALSO, THE DR KELP IS IN THE FRIDGE MINE!
(Cut to Initiator being knocked out)
Initiator: tell my story!!
(Cut to Security using Noseward as a battering ram to get inside the palace)
Security: almost…. (Rams) there!
(An Atlantian opens the door and the 2 fly inside)
(Cuts to the inside)
Security: (throws hands in the air) we made it!
Noseward: (underneath security) i will kindly request you to get off of me.
Security: (stands up) sorry.
(Cuts to doctor crayons throwing test tubes at atlantians)
Doctor Crayons: take this! And this! And this! And thi- (accidentally throws the wrong option) no, wait! My buffness potio-
(A mega-buff Atlantian walks infront of doctor crayons)
Doctor crayons: (nervous laughter) uh, hi…
(Cuts to Brother Squidward in a tank shooting missiles)
Brother Squidward: EAT SCALLOP YOU ATLANTIAN BASTARDS!
Atlantian: (offscreen) we'd rather not!
(Cuts to the Feathered Friends walking on foot holding nachos and following the tank trails the cult made)
Patrick: are we there yet? I'm almost out of nachos!
Mr krabs: me too.
Plankton: i cant eat nachos cuz the cheese gets all over my (dolphin noise) body!
Spongebob: just keep walking, and try your hardest to ration those nachos!
Patrick: ok (bites a bit of a nacho and chews slowly)
Plankton: i shoulda brought my death robot and jetpack.
Spongebob: (stops) uh, did we bring weapons?
(Short silence)
Spongebob: let's go back.
(A few minutes later timecard)
Spongebob: we're back with weapons and more nachos!
Plankton: and this time i brought my robot and jetpack!
Mr krabs: got me claws and missiles!
Patrick: and i got my gas!
Mr krabs: so that's not smoke i smell?
Patrick: well, technically it is...
Spongebob: wait, be quiet! There it is!
(Zoom out shot of Atlantis viewed from above a hill. There's smoke covering it and screams are heard)
(Cuts back)
Spongebob: let's do this.
(Cuts to a shot of multiple atlantians and cult members fighting eachoter)
Spongebob: (offscreen, chanting)
(The 2 sides look at the distance)
(Cuts to a shot of the feathered friends ontop of a cliff)
Spongebob: let's go, feathered friends, to war!
(They all jump off and roll down the hill screaming)
Spongebob: (stands) ignore that. (Brushes sand) to war!
(Thet charge into battle and start fighting both sides)
(Cuts to a shot of behind the L.R.H looking at the war through a window)
L.R.H: this is chaos! (Stops looking through window and faces away from it)
(Cuts to a front-side view of L.R.H)
Atlantian 1: you said it chief. (Picks up a bomb and throws it out the window) what should we do?
L.R.H: I'm not sure. We can't surrender to them, and we certainly can't forfeit!
Atlantian 1: it makes no sense though! I thought we were safe from the cult! (Throws another bomb)
L.R.H: they musta found the map we buried.
Atlantian 1: but how? Renaldo buried it well!
L.R.H: Renaldo mustve not buried it well enough. (Shouting out window) RENALDO, YOU'RE FIRED!
Renaldo: (outside) awww…
R.L.H: anyways, we have to do something.
Atlantian 1: we could shoot icecream at them?
R.L.H: FOOL! that wont do seadonkey!
Atlantian 1: well then I'm stumped. (Throws another bomb out the window)
R.L.H: hmm… maybe we could unleash germs on them!
Atlantian 1: or maybe we can use that atomic bomb we built.
R.L.H: WHAT?! NO! THAT WON'T DO ANY- actually, that might work…
Atlantian 1: wait, you're actually doing it? I wasn't being seriou-
R.L.H: silence! Now fetch me that bomb and I'll make an annoucment.
Atlantian 1: uh, sure boss… (runs off)
(cuts to a shot of out of the window)
R.L.H: (through speaker) ATTENTION ALL CULT MEMBERS AND… WHATEVER THOSE CHICKEN PEOPLE ARE.
spongebob: (offscreen) hey, we're a serious deal! (Punching noise) OW, MY NOSE!
R.L.H: UM, RIGHT. ANYWAY, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! STOP FIGHTING OR ELSE!
(Cut to Brother Squidward in a tank)
Brother Squidward: or else what?
L.R.H: (offscreen) UH, YOU'LL BE ANNIHILATED I GUESS.
Brother Squidward: how?
L.R.H: (offscreen) OH FOR THE LOVE OF-
Atlantian 1: (faintly offscreen) uh here is your atom bomb sir-
(Cuts to lrh)
L.R.H: (ABOUT DAMN TIME! GIVE UP NOW AND I'LL DETONATE THIS ATOM BOMB!
(Gasps are heard offscreen)
(Cut to Mr Krabs)
Krabs: WHAT?! you're insane!
(Cuts back)
L.R.H: Yep, and if you don't give up within (looks at bomb for 2 seconds) 10 minutes then you'll all die. The end. Atlantians, when it detonates get to the saferoom. That is an order. (throws the bomb)
(Cuts to the ground where the bomb lands on the ground crushing and killing atlantians while to others walk into the palace)
Bomb: 9 minutes remaining.
Brother Squidward: ohnohnohnohno this is baaaaaad
Doctor Crayons: everyone remain calm! We can get through this-
Noseward: OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE AHHHHHHH (gets shot with tranquilizer dart)
Doctor C: (puts shooter away) anyway, we need to find a way to defuse this bomb.
Security: let me handle this. (Rips open front to reveal a ton of wires) don't let me handle this.
Atlantian: give up cult! You'll never defuse this!
Plankton: Step back wimps. (Jumps onto bomb) let's see uh- wait, no- er, uh wait, no (jumps off) it's too complicated!
Doctor crayons: well, if we're gonna defuse this bomb, we're-
Bomb: 8 minutes remaining
Doctor: we're gonna need tons of smart people…
Initiator: that's me!
Doctor: some engineers...
Cult member: yep, here i am!
Doctor: and some-
Bomb: 7 minutes remaining.
Doctor: shut up! (Kicks bomb)
Bomb: 3 minutes remaining
Doctor: er- wasnt me.
Brother Squidward: doctor crayons, when/if we make this out alive you're going in the cage.
Doctor: aww.
Noseward: I'll use my hacking skills to hack into le bomb…
Doctor: ok, good, where's your computer-
(Noseward hacks into the bomb with a sword)
Noseward: what computer?
Doctor: nevermind.
Cult member: uh, i could try rewiring the bomb. (Walks up to it and rips off a wire)
Bomb: 2 minutes remai- (bzzz) 50 seconds remain
Cult member: Damnit!
Brother Squidward: welp, we failed. Let's go back to the lodge.
Cult member: wait- i need to cut a wire. Hmm… Red or blue?
Doctor: red!
Cult member: blue!
Spongebob: yellow!
Mr krabs: there are no yellow wires!
(30 seconds remain)
Member: ach! Ummmmmm
Doctor: reddd!
Bomb: 10 seconds remain.
Cult member: (through megaphone) blueeeee!
Bomb: 5… 4… 3… 2-
(Cult member cuts a wire)
Cult member: i did it!
Bomb: detonating
Security: oh no you DON'T!
(He throws the bomb at palace, blowing it to pieces)
All cult members: HOORAY!
(Bits of the palace fall on different members)
L.R.H DAMNIT! WE SURRENDERS!
brother squidward: you mean we get Atlantis now?
L.r.h: heck no.
(He presses a button causing the palace to rebuild itself)
L.r.h: we will fight to the last atlantia- (gets blown up by a tank)
Altantian: yep, we surrender! Atlantis is yours!
(The cult cheers)
Spongebob: is it ours too?
Atlantian: who are you?
Brother Squidward: this will be a special day for the cult… The cult of squid!
(Every cult member cheers)
(Epilogue title card)
(Atlantis’ palace is turned into yet another cephalopod lodge pyramid)
Brother Squidward: this was a fun past couple of days.
Security: yeah, but what will you do with this extra pyramid?
Brother Squidward: it's for the secret.
Security: oh.
Doctor: (walks in) sir, will the caged fish be put into a new cage?
Brother Squidward: heck no. Well, maybe if it gets too full.
(Cuts to the cage)
Fred: i hate this cage!
Tom: you said it! It's too full!
Harold: ive had an idea for the past couple of days.
Tom: what is it?
Harold: what if… All the fish in this cage… revolted.
Tom: (gasp)
(Screen pauses)
Narrator: to be continued in season 2, possibly. Also, man, what a season, amirite?
Lock: (offscreen) get out of here! (Audibly pushes narrator out of the way) thank you all for an amazing season 1, and i hope for more in the future. That is if it doesnt completely die like plankton moves did…
Narrator: (offscreen) i liked plankton moves!
== Production ==
The episode was first annoucned after Canned Bread came out. It was scheduled for a 2018 release but released early January in 2019.
Category:Locknloaded23
Category:2019 Episodes