The LEGO Ninjago Movie mini-movies/Transcript

==SDCC Greeting==
Garmadon: Luh-Lloyd, what are you doing in my super-secret volcano office? Your father's working.
Lloyd: Dad, we're gonna be in San Diego. And I thought-
Garmadon: I could conquer it? Excellent warlord instinct, son. General #1, bring me my conquering flags to plant on this S-an Di-e-go Com-icon.
Lloyd: No, no more flags. We could do something father-son sight-seeing.
Garmadon: Oh! Oh, that'd be fun to conquer.
Lloyd: No, don't-
Garmadon: Oh, and that too!
Lloyd: That's not-
Garmadon: My gosh, Luh-Lloyd, can you imagine how beautiful this city would look getting smashed by my giant mech?
Lloyd: Please, just stop.
Garmadon: Oh, I'm totally gonna conquer this place. It's at the top of my bucket list.
Lloyd: Don't worry, he is not going to destroy San Diego.
Garmadon: Yet.
Lloyd: Today.
Garmadon: But someday!
==Back to School==
Ninjago High School student: Run for your life!
Nya: Hey ninjas, it's me, Nya, and it's back to school time. So I'm going to show you everything you need in your locker to be ninja and nail the school year. Anyone can be ninja if you feel strong, confident, and powerful. Here's the ninja's guide to everything a ninja needs to be a ninja. First, I like to have photos of all my heroes who inspire me. Next, you need a ninja mask to protect your secret identity. Nobody knows mine except for Kai, Cole, Jay, Zane Lloyd, and you. 'Cause we're buds. I've also got sushi for lunch, my lucky chopsticks. Oh, and here's something every ninja needs in her locker: makeup, to camouflage for stealth missions. See? Perfectly camouflaged. So ninja.
Garmadon: Ahahahahahaha!
Man: Garmadon!
Woman: Run, run!
Nya: Looks like I gotta go take care of this. So, if you do happen to be a real ninja, the last thing your locker needs? A secret passageway leading to a warehouse space filled with butt-kicking mechs. Have a great school year.
==Garmadon's Countdown==
Garmadon: Hello, cyber-world!
Man: Hello.
Garmadon: It's your favorite evil warlord, Garmadon, talking to you from the evil web. On December 12th, I'll be taking over... your living room! Reveal the sinister countdown clock.
Omar: Here it is, sir. Doesn't seem to be working.
Garmadon: That's because it's a sundial, you goon! And there's no sunlight in here. You're fired! And fire that sundial, you goon! Now this is what we're gonna do. You four are now the countdown clock. Go!
Asimov: Forty days. Forty days. Forty days.
IT Bat Nerd: Twenty-three hours. Twenty-three hours. Twenty-three hours.
Steve: Fifty-nine minutes.
Unknown: Fifty-nine seconds. Fifty-eight seconds.
Garmadon: When these nerds get to zero, I'll be taking over your living room.
Asimov: Forty days? What if we get hungry?
Garmadon: Don't worry. Garmadon will be here to spoon-feed you. Ahahahahaha!
==Garmadon's Digital Shark Choir==
Narrator: And now, a special holiday message from Garmadon.
Garmadon: Today marks the digital release of The LEGO Ninjago Movie. You're welcome. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we have the Ninjago youth choir to perform the holiday classic, "Carol of the Downloads." Bring me my choir!
Terri: Here they are, sir!
Sharks: Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
Garmadon: Agh, this is the choir? Hurts my ears already!
Terri: One second.
Sharks: (harmoniously) Nom nom nom nom, nom nom nom...
Garmadon: Oh, they're like angels. Ugly, dead-eyed, man-eating angels.
==Garmadon's Video for Santa==
Garmadon: Dear Santa, this year, I've been really good, so this is what you're gonna give me: 23 crab cannons, 19 laser-guarded-
IT Bat Nerd: Sir!
Garmadon: Whoa! I'm in the middle of writing my letter to Santa!
IT Bat Nerd: But sir, we've captured the elusive blue ray!
Garmadon: After years of searching, Ninjago's blue ray is finally in my home.
Asimov: Bad news, sir. The blue ray has escaped!
Garmadon: You mean the blue ray is out?! 
Asimov: Yes sir.
Garmadon: It's December 19th, and the blue ray is out?! Well go out and find the blue ray, and bring it home! Be sure to document the whole thing on video. I wanna watch the blue ray on my big-screen TV!