2012 Power Rankings-Week 2

Posted 9/13/12 at 9:18am. There were no week one Power Rankings in 2012. ABC Easy as RGIII would become DiscountDoubleCheck while Multiple Score-Gasms would become The Storm.
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Week 1 is in the books, and what a week it was! Not only were some of last years powerhouses upset in the NFL, but some of the strongest teams of last year suffered massive losses. Among the more shocking turn of events was the projected 1-win Tickle Me Ocho's putting up huge numbers against the self-proclaimed champion "Multiple Scoregasms. "Boats and Hoes JV" barely squeaked out a win over one of the new-comers "Why am I Doing This?" and last years joke squad "ma ma momma said" got an early victory against a very confused "Butt Fuckers."
Let's get down to business (to defeat..the hunsss):
1. ABC Easy as RGIII
---The scariest part about ABC and his nearly 300-point week one beatdown was that he had two of his top scorers (Ridley, RG3) on the bench. Add in the good day that Randy Moss had and the assumption that all three of these guys will continue to perform well and you have an early favorite to go undefeated and take the ship. Of course, the tough decision comes early with the Thursday night GB game. Will he start Rodgers or RG3 week 2?
2. Tickle Me Ocho
--Snickers throughout the room as Matt Ryan became Ocho's first round pick. Who is snickering now? Has Matt Ryan finally figured out how to use his weapons to their fullest potential? If the Falcons are the new powerhouse in the NFC South, this doesn't bode well for the rest of us. Let's also not forget that Wes Welker won't be contained for much longer...
3. The Shotti Bunch
---The AP pick looks good for now, provided he stays healthy. The Vick pick, not so much. Four picks against Clevelend, but keep in mind they were a top 10 defense last year. One thing is for certain, with Vick performing like that there may need to be a change of pace atop the depth chart for Shotti. He'll need to perform better to beat Tickle Me Ocho.
4. Boats and Hoes JV
---The most deceiving 207 points in league history. Boats and Hoes left over 150 points on his bench, with Cobb and Romo accounting for over 90 of those points. If he makes the right starts, and who knows that those could be, then this team is primed for a year far better than last.
5. Welker's Fingertips
---The top scoring loser doesn't feel that great but it's something to build on. Definitely the dumbest start of the week had to be...okay Score-Gasms Isaiah Pead..but the second dumbest was Deangello Williams. With Stewart not playing, Williams had a high projection but Panthers were held to 10 total rushing yards. Probably would've lost either way since they faced the top-scoring team week 1.
6. Multiple Score-Gasms 
---Turns out the mathematical equation (Average team+Trash talking=super bowl) doesn't work for this team just like it doesn't work for the Jets. Score-Gasms bold "draft all the best RB's backups and hope they get injured" strategy didn't work week 1, with AP, Foster, and Jackson all starting for their teams. Redman was a good pick up (sort of) but not Mendenhall is practicing again. Week 2 will be a good test for this team as they face Why Am I Doing This, who scored almost the same amount of points in week 1.
7. Why am I Doing This?
---The answer is clear. With just over 200 points, this team has a legitimate chance to compete. McCoy, Greene and Martin look like promising season-long RB starts, while WR Decker and Rice look to be favorable and reliable targets for their respective QB's. A team to watch for grabbing a low playoff-seed.
8. ma ma momma said
---Did you momma say you were going to win week 1? Because if she did, she was the only one. If only mmms had drafted Manning in the first round like they did last year, this victory would have been even sweeter. That being said, almost all of their starters performed relatively well, and guys like Bryant, Jackson, Fitzgerald, and Wallace probably played below what they'll average for the year. Maybe it's time we stop laughing at this team and take them seriously. (lol)
9. Julian Odinson
---If this team name is implying that he is some relative of Thor, he must be the mentally challenged distant cousin. Team has the TE spots locked up with Graham and Daniels but there will be some RB issues as the season continues. With Manning on the bench in week 1, my guess is we haven't seen this team at it's best just yet.
10. butt fuckers
--The only person they fucked was themselves. With their team in lockout (AKA for some reason yahoo wouldn't let him sign in to set his lineup) this team was destined to failure. Also the autodraft did not help. This team will probably be 0-2 after running into the freight train that is ABC Easy as RGIII.
Game of the Week:
Shotti Bunch vs. Tickle me Ocho--Battle of the undefeated. Defending champion going against the young gunner with a chance to assert more dominance over the league and more importantly, Nate. Shotti will have to prove that the Vick performance in week 1 was a fluke and that his team is more powerful than we all think.
Upset of the week: Welker's Fingertips vs. Boat