Michael Schiavello

Commentator for several MMA organizations.
"The guy gets the munchies and entire farming communities go out of business." - Michael "The Mouth" Schiavello, on Bob Sapp.
"Always amazing that Imanari's propensity for going for a leglock or a heel hook has become as predictable as a Tara Reid nipple slip, but opponent's still fall for it." - Schiavello
"He could beat the sun in a staring contest." - Schiavello, on Joe Warren.
"It happened years ago at a Muay Thai show in Melbourne on Fox Sports. The emcee was brand new and my director asked me to give him some instructions. Anyway at the end of the main event the emcee goes to the loser of the fight to talk to him. I flicked off my mic, flicked on the talkback to the emcee's earpiece and said, 'Nah fuck him, go interview the winner...' ... lo and behold if you listen closely, even though my mic was off, you can hear me say this on air!" - Schiavello, relaying his most embarassing on-air moment.
"He's been on his back more than my ex-girlfriend." - Michael.
"Folks that is not knocked out... that is K-T-F-O in a big, big way! Jason High is astral traveling here." - Michael after Marius Zaromskis knocked out Jason High.
"He's taken more hits than Nick Diaz's bong!" - Michael.
"He's been mounted more times than Jenna Jameson." - Michael.