Friday Spin-Off

"Friday Spin-Off" is the seventh and final episode of the second season of Thursday Spin-Off, and the 20th episode overall. The finale of the series, it was written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway and PrimitiveSponge129 (kind of), and first aired on July 1, 2024.
==Plot==
CrazySponge gets sick of living a life of power. Meanwhile, Bianca and Liz attempt to fill the void left in their life by the death of their children and Paige flees to for... game show purposes.
==Script==
[The episode starts right down in the centre of evil’s throat: the cavern of the Giraffe Mafia. Blood-stained rock walls surround the viewer, as the camera disorientedly switches from looking down onto the squelching cave floor to looking straight towards the blurred glaze of flame emerging from further down the cave. Three disembodied giraffe heads fuzz into existence surrounding the camera, which swirls around in attempt to avoid them. They repeat a lingering chant of “Murderer…” as whoever’s point of view we are using struggles, gasping for breath. As their breaths intensify and the giraffe chants overlap into a horrifying mantra, we zoom out of this hellscape into CrazySponge's bedroom. Waking up in a cold sweat and profusely apologising, he seems flustered.]
CrazySponge: I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to, I can’t think of how, I’m not a murd… 
[He realises it was a dream.]
CrazySponge: Just… go back to sleep, CrazySponge. 
[We zoom out even further to show that CrazySponge no longer sleeps in the Box Productions HQ but a bedroom in the middle of the cosmos protected by a green force field, monitored by the two businessmen who sold him the Earth, who stand like statues on the top of the field, acting as bodyguards. CrazySponge reaches for his nightstand, and there’s a cut to the syringe he picks up. Labelled “Reality”, he sighs deeply and injects it into his neck. His swift drift back into slumber is anything but, as once again, the audience ends up embroiled in one of CrazySponge’s dream passages. This time, it’s a black-and-white metropolis, and a carriage, led by horses, draws CrazySponge, sitting on a throne surrounded by two identical scantily-clad women with hands on his robed shoulders. They display an uncanny resemblance to Bianca. “” by and plays as CrazySponge, clearly slightly intoxicated, is led onto the path by these women, whom he then dismisses to go for a solo walk. Smoking a Cuban cigar, he takes a stroll down the streets, slow but triumphantly.]
Ye: [offscreen; rapping] After everything said, huh? Wait, wait… after everything said, huh? Wait, wait…
[After passing through a series of men who look just like CrazySponge, yet are dressed in suits instead. He daps every single one up. A pregnant woman passes by with another tiny CrazySponge in a stroller, whom the real CrazySponge passes a cigar. The woman, clearly struggling due to her pregnancy, still kneels to the ground and worships CrazySponge’s feet.]
Ye: “Crazy, bipolar, antisemite”… and I’m still the King. Still the King, still…
[In the distance, catching CrazySponge’s eye, is a protest. Holding signs that display “THE WORLD IS UNJUST, BP SHOULD GO BUST”, a group of young women are protesting the world-owning boss’ visit to their city. As CrazySponge walks closer to the women, their heads start to resemble giraffes.]
Ye: They thought headlines was my Kryptonite… Still the King, still the King…
[CrazySponge slyly approaches the protestors, circling them so they surround each other closely in fear. After rounding them up, he takes a lighter one of the signs, and the entire protest goes up in flames. He slowly walks away from the scene he just left.]
Ye: This what you all been waitin’ for, huh?
[He continues to puff on his cigar as he walks back to the carriage slowly, not facing the fire he just created.]
Ye: Guess a real [gnarly dude] couldn’t take no more, huh? [Gnarly dudes] mad ‘cause they can’t talk to Ye no more, huh? It was fucks given, now it ain’t no more, huh? 
[We cut to a long shot of the protestors’ bodies, flesh dripping off into ash as what remains of their young souls crumble onto the ground they called home. The song continues, drifting off into irrelevant topics as the camera maintains on this one shot.]
Ye: If you ain’t mean it, what you say it for, huh? 
Ty Dolla $ign: She just wanna fuck at the Bottega store, huh?
Ye: Way she suck me off, I should be payin’ more, huh?
[Cut to CrazySponge in front of his carriage and facing the fire. He signals towards the women who brought him here, though doesn’t face them, still his eyes intent on following the flames.]
Ye: Addicted to my bitch ‘cause she actin’ like a slut!
[Four Bianca-esque women leap out of the carriage and bring him his throne to sit on and gaze upon a bloody scene of massacre that, to CrazySponge, is a calming fireplace.]
Ye: Bring four sluts right now… shut the hell up ‘fore you get exiled.
[On the final line, the music cuts out and echoes as the screen cuts to black.]
Ye: And I’m still Crazy…
[White, grainy text appears on the blank void. It flickers but ultimately reveals itself to read “Friday Spin-Off”, amidst a static sound that disappears with a click of a television remote, which forces the text to vanish away as well.]
[We cut to a tundra. Amidst the vast emptiness of the scenery, a single blue desk, corners coated in frost, sits between two chairs, occupied by a disgruntled Inuit and a hooded individual. The camera pans to reveal the individual as Paige, who takes their hood off. There are two stones in front of each character. A ghostly caricature, Ilitkusik, appears behind the desk.]
Ilitkusik: Up for grabs is an entire dead moose. Could feed a whole family. Take your time to debate.
Paige: Listen, Muktuk. What I’m going to do is steal, but after we’re done with all this, I’ll help you take half the moose home and cook that half for your family.
Muktuk: This is… not how game works. 
Paige: Muktuk, I’m going to steal.
[Ilitkusik raises whatever the ghost equivalent of an eyebrow is.]
Muktuk: Second option: we… both… split. You split, we both eat moose.
Muktuk’s inner monologue: Muktuk steal. Muktuk devour moose. No moose for wife and kids.
Paige: I’m telling you, Muktuk, I’m gonna steal.
Muktuk: My father once tell me… man no keep their word, man no keep their worth.
Paige: Agreed. I’m going to steal.
Muktuk’s inner monologue: Bitch crazy. Muktuk split out of fear.
Ilitkusik: It is time for you to reveal your stones.
Paige: Hey, not on the first date, am I right?
[Paige nervously laughs as neither seems to get the heavy-handed innuendo. After a moment of silence, Paige sighs and they get to revealing the stones until it cuts to Liz and Bianca in their apartment, wearing matching hoodies - Bianca, of course, wearing her signature eye-patch on her left eye, though it’s now styled with a pastel blue heart. They’re packing away their belongings in boxes and discussing their future plans.]
Liz: Bianca, do you think Aidan would take me back as his assistant?
[Bianca stops packing.]
Bianca: Pssh… girl! Are you still thinking about him? Honey, he owns the land we live on now.
[Bianca places her hands on Liz’s cheeks.]
Bianca: Forget about him, alright? He has his sketchy businessmen now.
Liz: Those guys had cool suits.
Bianca: Well, we’re cooler. Right?
[Bianca lightly slaps Liz and gets back to packing whilst Liz stares, blushing, to which Bianca is unaware of.]
Bianca: I know, you miss him for some reason, but we’re a lot better without having to deal with his very orders, outside of… well, international law, now, but… [sighs breezily] listen, we can make it on our own by just getting on with life, moving into a bigger place, making some good money…
Liz: Doing what?
[Bianca pauses, silently.]
Liz: You okay?
[She holds an item in a box she was emptying. We see a close-up of a pink binder labelled with basically incoherent crayons and scrawlings. Liz puts her arm around Bianca as she opens up the binder. The page opened up features the three giraffe children meeting the crew of a puppet stage show backstage, as well as a picture of them with their two adoptive mothers sat around a table holding a birthday cake shaped like a hoopla fish. Stuck to the image, obscuring its bottom-right corner, is a glittery sticker reading “ROD’S SPECIAL DAY”. A single tear drops down on the page.]
[Cut to Paige running into a remote Alaskan market shop owned by a small local business. They rush towards the counter and smashes what appears to be a full moose carcass on the counter.]
Paige: I’ll take all your fucking rocks.
[A mock transition plays into one of the sketchy businessman in a small black hut in the new cosmic HQ where he makes his rest. He’s “sleeping” in his small bed, though his covered-up gestures imply otherwise.]
Sketchy businessman 1: Well, hey there, little baby. [purrs] Come here and give your daddy a little kiss like a good kitten. [groans] You make my little hoopla spring up like John.'s neck.
[The businessman slips his hands down his smart work pants, which he is inexplicably wearing to bed.]
Businessman 1: I’m about to explode!
[Cut to CrazySponge standing in his bedroom, right next to its forcefield protection. is heard from a distance, which he shrugs off. He attempts to rest his hands on the forcefield but it zaps him backwards, burning his hand. He sighs, then walks into the corner of his bedroom and struggles a rusty door open. This is revealed to be the control room for . The two businessmen sit there, twiddling their thumbs and watching a set of televisions that display earthly life, with seven screens for each continent. One of the businessmen is smoking a cigarette, wearing a dressing grown, whilst the other is day-drinking. CrazySponge yawns and then clears his throat.]
CrazySponge: Can I ask you guys to do something?
Businessman 1: Sure. 
Sketchy businessman 2: Anything you wish, sire.
Businessman 1: , after all.
Businessman 2: Literally.
CrazySponge: Yeah, I… I know, though it doesn’t really seem like it.
Businessman 2: Why not?
Businessman 1: You have ultimate power.
Businessman 2: You can determine everything.
Businessman 1: [whispering] Everything.
CrazySponge: Yeah, well… can I just fly back down to Earth? You know, the HQ?
Businessman 1: No can do.
Businessman 2: Not possible.
Businessman 1: Nuh-uh.
Businessman 2: Nope.
Businessman 1: Not safe.
Businessman 2: Too dangerous.
CrazySponge: I thought I was all-powerful. 
Businessman 1: Why, yes.
Businessman 2: But we can’t risk you going down to Earth again.
Businessman 1: Why would you even need to?
Businessman 2: You have everything you need here.
CrazySponge: Guys, I have nothing here. I haven’t spoken to another real human in what feels like forever. 
Businessman 1: We’re humans.
Businessman 2: You know we are.
Businessman 1: You’ve seen my penis.
Businessman 2: Wasn’t impressed.
CrazySponge: You two don’t even have names.
Businessman 1: Why, of course we do.
Businessman 2: Yes, my name is…
Businessman 1: Uh…
Businessman 2: About that…
CrazySponge: Just quit the back-and-forth for a bit and listen to me. I was promised, and I remember explicitly the day I signed this document, okay? So don’t ass-light me about this…
Businessman 1: Gaslight.
Businessman 2: Not ass-light, sir.
CrazySponge: [breaks] SHUT UP! 
[An awkward silence follows.]
CrazySponge: Listen, when I bought the Earth, I figured I could still be of the Earth. I didn’t want to be sectioned off to the middle of nowhere, just observing the Earth. A King lives in his castle, sure, but he still gets sent out to the streets. He doesn’t just send the troops every now and then, he meets with the people. He checks on his land. He doesn’t just own his country, he loves it. A King is his country, and the country loves its King.
Businessman 2: But you’re not the King, sir.
Businessman 1: You’re a God.
[CrazySponge stares blankly at the businessmen, and a shattering sound effect plays in the distance. After realising he has been on the stairs to the control room the whole conversation, he steps down into the room and onto a swivel chair.]
CrazySponge: Where’s John.?
[Cut to an even vaster cosmos wherein John. is attached to a floating machine that constantly zaps him with electricity and, through a complex set of wires connected to his collar, is being sapped of blood and energy. Cut back to the control room.]
Businessman 1: I think he’s doing fine.
Businessman 2: He’s probably with Super-Mega-Ultra-Robotic Hitler.
[CrazySponge rolls his eyes.]
CrazySponge: Guys, where’s John?
[Businessman 1 gulps. Businessman 2 clears his throat.]
CrazySponge: Come on, where is he? Show us! A God is all-knowing, isn’t He?
Businessman 1: Then why should we show you?
Businessman 2: I think you already know how he’s doing.
[CrazySponge sighs despondently.] 
CrazySponge: Alright. I see how it is. How’s doing?
[The two businessman perk up and start facing the screens, changing the screen, which was on the “ 4” channel, to “Turkey 12”. Their dialogue starts to fade out as the shot lingers on the three men observing the world.]
Businessman 1: Just terrible.
Businessman 2: was replaced by a sea lion…
[As the businessmen continue to ramble onto CrazySponge, all the audience can hear is the pained screams of John. from offscreen, that slowly fade into a sound with a similar rhythm: the blaring of the siren before every episode of the famed television series, Alaskan Stones. A far cry from the remote Alaskan setting, Paige now stands in a set draped in gold, with two contestants sitting on either side, not facing the audience. A gimmicky theme tune plays as the “ALASKAN STONES” logo covers the screen, before being whisked away like an ugly .]
Paige: Welcome, one and all, to the greatest game show the state has to offer. I’m your host, Paige…
[They point to the audience.]
Audience: [in unison] You’re our host, Paige!
Paige: And we’re about to play…
Audience: And we’re about to play…
Paige: ALASKAN STOOOOOOOOOOONES!
[The studio audience cheers raucously as the two chairs the contestants are spaced in spin into the limelight, revealing their identities as they shake their heads dizzily, before snapping out of it in time for the introductions.]
Paige: Going against each other in a battle of skill, wit and trust, today we have…
[Pan to the first contestant, a balding, white guy with a moustache in a police outfit.]
Paige: Brooklyn Guy, all the way from !
[The audience cheers.]
Paige: He’s saved lives, he’s taken them too. He will be one to look out for. He’s up against a worthy opponent. In our second seat, we have…
[Rapid, motion sickness-inducing pan to the second seat, holding Illitkusik.]
Paige: A very special guest and good friend of mine, Illitkusik!
[The crowd cheers.]
Paige: Illitkusik, of course, was the host of this mind game back when it was just a time-waster in the vast depths of remote Alaska, and now, he’s back to participate in the game itself. Now, if you’re not familiar with the rules of…
[Paige turns to the audience with finger guns.]
Paige: ALASKAN STOOOOOOONES!
[The audience cheers before being abruptly cut off.]
Paige: Shut up. Let me explain.
[We hear a TV remote being picked up and a button being pressed, and damn near all of the episode of the Alaskan Stones programme is skipped over. We see some of the action of the episode, but it’s soon rendered incoherent by all the static and the sheer pace everything is moving at. Eventually, the button is let loose and the episode pauses, at what is clearly a dramatic time. Illitkusik is shouting and pointing at Brooklyn Guy, who is reaching for something in his pockets.]
Illitkusik: YOU ARE A BASTARD FOR DOING THAT! YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE! YOU’VE DESTROYED ME! YOU BASTARD!
[As Illitkusik lunges further, Paige tries to intercept but is pushed away and drowned out by Illitkusik’s yelling, as well as Brooklyn Guy’s overlapping warnings.]
Brooklyn Guy: Hey, man, I wouldn’t get too close if I were you. I’m a police officer, among other things, I keep strapped at all times.
Illitkusik: Oh, don't start with that! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW DEFENDING YOURSELF, LAME BASTARD! YOU ACT LIKE SUCH A BIG SHOT WITH YOUR POLICE UNIFORM AND YOUR FIREFIGHTING CAREER AND THE MILLIONS YOU’VE DONATED TO CHARITY! BUT YOU STOLE THE DEAD MOOSE PRIZE! YOU KNOW HOW MANY MEALS I COULD MAKE WITH THAT FUCKING MOOSE, YOU GREEDY PIG?!
[Brooklyn Guy pulls a pistol out of his pocket.]
Brooklyn Guy: Hey, I warned you, man…
[The scene dramatically cuts to black as five shots are fired. Fade back into the forcefield bedroom in the cosmos. The instrumental to ’s “” plays. CrazySponge has painted the walls the same white as they were in his HQ, and has a 3D-printed figure of Liz near his nightstand, where his signature red glasses, that have notably been off the whole episode, sit. He sifts through blank paper on his bed as if they were pieces of paperwork, writing his signature on them, or skimming through them and ripping them up.]
CrazySponge: Whose idea was it to make Meme World cereal? Psh, imagine.
[He picks up another piece of blank paper before sighing and bashing his head back against his pillow in frustration.]
CrazySponge: Who am I kidding, man? I’m not that person anymore. I don’t think I am a person anymore. I’m a God.
[The word echoes, and we cut to a shot that lingers from over CrazySponge’s shoulder of the vast yet blank cosmos, a black void peppered with tiny white stars.]
CrazySponge: Hey, big man. If you’re up there still, sorry for jackin’ your shit. I never believed in you my whole life, I… I couldn’t think of the possibility. Like if there was a God, why would he let any of the suffering happen? I mean, there’s just no evidence. Why would people have faith when… [gulps; becomes quieter] guys like me could exist? I think I get it now though. Maybe that’s… you know, just, the all-seeing, all-knowing thing, but… guess a God’s kinda powerless, huh? Who would even want to call the shots from up here? It’s boring. All I can do is watch as the world does its thing. “Press this button to do this, do that, make life, kill that guy, good harvest this year, disappointing the next…” But I haven’t pressed a button since I got here. And nothing’s changed. 
[CrazySponge eyes up his red glasses on the nightstand, and we get a close-up of him reaching for them, though clumsily pushing them off and onto the floor, where one lens shatters, ending the music. CrazySponge groans and we cut to the lifeless body of John. dangling in the cosmos, attached to stars like a marionette. His limbs swing around aimlessly, but make no sound. The shot fades into a real puppet. A zoom out reveals it’s being controlled by Liz, and doing a dance routine with another marionette held by Bianca, who has coloured her signature eyepatch with a nice blue sky and sunshine. They’re performing a puppet show for unengaged children at a school assembly. Bianca is puppeteering a character covered in crayon, with a scrawled red dress on and messy lipstick as well as stapled locks of hair, seemingly extracted from a real human. The character is backed by a makeshift set featuring a large table not dissimilar to a meeting room, and a sky backdrop.]
Bianca: [as the puppet; in an annoying falsetto] Oh, my God, LazySponge! I love your TV show, Hoopla’s Awesome Lifehouse! Please kiss me!
[Liz’s puppet turns around to reveal itself covered in green spray paint with badly-drawn facial features and a ragged blue tuxedo.]
Liz: [as the puppet; putting on a deeper voice] Zounds! Of course not, woman! I am a man of principles.
[We cut to a shot of a clearly unengaged set of children, zoned out and confused, as two teachers at each side smoke cigarettes.]
Bianca: [as the puppet] But I woooooove you!
Liz: [as the LazySponge puppet] Alright, fine. [cuts back to the puppet show itself] May I marry you, Vivian?
Bianca: [as the puppet] Oh, yes, Mr. Sponge, yes, you shall!
[Bianca and Liz smash the two puppets together and roll down the curtain.]
Bianca and Liz: [simultaneously] “The End”.
[Small patters of hesitant clapping emerge as one of the smoking teachers comes in front of the puppet show and sends them off.]
Teacher: [raspy voice] Alright, boys and girls, I hope you enjoyed…
[She’s drowned out and Bianca and Liz talk to each other behind the curtain.]
Bianca: Ugh… did you see those faces?! I sucked out there! God, I crave Mother Creativity’s sweet and tender touch.
Liz: Oh, honey, they’re just kids. I– [her phone rings; her ringtone is “” by ] I’m getting a call from Paige.
Bianca: Ooh, I haven’t heard from them in ages. I figured they’d have been killed. Wonder what they’re up to.
[Liz answers the call and we get a split-screen between Liz still at the school and Paige in the tundras of Alaska.]
Paige: THEY’RE ONTO ME, LIZ!
Liz: Huh?
Paige: YOU GOTTA HELP ME! THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL ME!
Liz: …Who? Why? What? When? Where? How?
Paige: When’s the earliest you and BiBi can take a flight to… let’s see here… [checks a dusty, torn map] middle of fucking nowhere, Alaska?
Liz: You… you’ve gotta be more specific.
Paige: West middle of fucking nowhere.
Liz: Let me see.
[She puts Paige on speaker phone, pushing out the split-screen to focus only on her and Bianca, and places her phone on a nearby piano, creating a dissonant chord, before taking out her laptop and searching on Foogle.]
Liz: While I do that, mind explaining to me why you need to escape?
Paige: Absolutely. It all started when I became the master of Alaskan Stones.
Liz: And that is?
Paige: A fantastic little game that took the indigenous people of Alaska by storm!
Bianca: And what does that have to do with you, Paige? Also, hi! 
Paige: Yeah, yeah, hi, bitch. So, there’s these stones, right?
Liz: Cut to the chase, Paige. 
Paige: The are tracking me down and want me dead, and so do pretty much the entire native community of Alaska. 
Bianca: [dumbfounded] …Why?
Paige: Using a culturally appropriated version of their traditional game, I made millions hosting a primetime TV show that incited a mass shooting within its first five episode. 30 people were found dead, but I swear, it was all Illitkusik’s fault!
Liz: Lily who now?
Paige: [sighs, defeatedly] Listen, can you do anything? Do you know anyone? I just want to be live my life in peace. I’m fighting the Ridonculous War on two fronts.
Bianca: Yeah… sounds terrible. So, uh… what about those millions of dollars you were making?
[Liz playfully roles her eyes. Cut to Mr. Neckie of the Giraffe Mafia nonchalantly standing outside of the school Liz and Bianca were performing at. Some children are running towards their parents at the end of the day, though Neckie’s have yet to appear. He sees Liz and Bianca walking out of the school’s assembly hall with a box containing their puppet show equipment. It’s mostly unlabelled but a similar sticker to that from earlier, this time reading “TODD’S SPECIAL DAY”, is plastered onto it. After squinting his eyes to read it, a single tear runs down his neck, which, as you can imagine, is incredibly long. He shakes his head and makes a movement towards the two. Before he’s close, Liz and Bianca can already tell his presence from the shadow he forms above them, and are both speechless and motionless facing him for the first time since their children were sacrificed. Mr. Neckie works up the courage to speak a few words to them.]
Mr. Neckie: [sighs] What… what can I do?
[Cut to the harsh conditions of remote Alaska, as a soaring electric guitar riff cuts through the feet of snow that entrap the two warring factions at a standstill. The entire Giraffe Mafia, with Paige at the helm, standing at the bottom of Mr. Neckie’s neck, which is strapped with a bomb, faces against tanks upon tanks of the United States army, with a frosted path between them. Hail obscures the army’s view of their enemy, but a hapless lieutenant looks through binoculars to observe their bizarre belligerent.]
Lieutenant: Commander… what the fuck?
[Cut to the Giraffe Mafia. Liz, armed with a machine gun, hops across a seemingly neverending bridge of giraffes to Mr. Neckie and hands Paige a megaphone.]
Paige: [tapping the megaphone] Is this thing on? [clears throat] This giraffe is armed with a bomb ready to explode when I say so.
[The army officers gasp.]
Paige: If you shoot at me… ALL of these PERFECTLY NORMAL giraffes, with NO criminal record to speak of or links to organised crime WHATSOEVER, will go with me!
[An awkward silence follows. We cut to the US military. A sergeant shrugs.]
Sergeant: Fuck it. Fire.
[We see a silent shot of the globe that seems perfectly normal. Seconds later, an explosion occurs that blocks the view of nearly all of Alaska and the surrounding Canadian territories. The smoke clears and Alaska is completely wiped from the map. The camera then zooms out to even further out in space, where CrazySponge is watching from his bed.]
CrazySponge: Yup, figured. That state was always meh anyways. 
[CrazySponge stretches his arms before slowly stumbling out of bed, noticing the shattered red glasses and crouching down to pick them up.] 
CrazySponge: Man. I loved these glasses. I mean, I’m sure I could replace them. I’m God and all that. Hell, maybe if I just put them on, I’ll…
[He slides his glasses on and is immediately made speechless. His bedroom vanishes and the camera pans outwards from him, now standing on a singular green platform in an otherwise black void. Graph lines of a similar neon green now start to connect his platforms to others that appear in the void. CrazySponge musters up the energy to stand up and catch his balance on his platform, as 's “” plays.]
Yeat: [offscreen; rapping] Are you in this shit for life? (All of you…)
[The recurring backing vocal seems to prompt a brief glimmer of several other CrazySponge clones, though lacking in detail or tangibility, to appear on the new platforms.]
Yeat: I’ll backstab you with a fuckin’ knife (All of you…)
Don’t it just feel right? And I realised, don’t it just feel good? (All of you…) 
Better than you know you should, even if it’s for the night
[An image of the Box Productions HQ flashes intermittently in front of CrazySponge.]
Yeat: You wish you could pause time and live this section your whole life.
[The cosmic hands that shattered in “Bought the Earth” appear below CrazySponge’s platform and raise it higher, reaching what appears to be a ceiling.]
Yeat: You know that feeling that you said you hate?
[Holographic images of Bianca and CrazySponge’s former employees, Liz and Paige, repeat as they circle around him.]
Yeat: Everything great, I push away
Ask an alien to show me the way
And I’m not even from this Earth, I can’t stay.
[The void develops a false image of the metropolis from “Bianca”. The coffee shop Bianca and Liz frequent in “I Don't See You Anymore” can be seen as the hands lower CrazySponge’s platform into the centre of the city. He reaches for the cars and trees that are around him but is trapped in the area spawned by the portal’s corners.]''
Yeat: Yeah, I wish I could stay
I wish I could stay
[Bianca, with a picture of her giraffe babies on her eyepatch, walks in front of CrazySponge.]
Yeat: I could give you something so great…
[She flashes into Mr. Neckie.]
Yeat: I could take it away.
[CrazySponge steps back slightly in fear, reaching the back wall of his platform, with his hands spread out like those that are holding him in place.]
Yeat: It’s all inside of my hands, but it’s all out of my control
[CrazySponge sits down.]
Yeat: And it’s something that I hear in my soul sayin’... 
So I’ma let it take me overboard, if you– 
[We zoom in quick to CrazySponge’s head in rhythm with the music and zoom out immediately after back to the void, where the graphed lines remain but without the platform. The camera tilts with CrazySponge’s every motion as he stumbles across, being completely coated in a neon green like the platform he once stood on. He faces against a red CrazySponge in front of him, who stands still as the one we know makes movements towards it, preparing to attack.]
Yeat: Try to tell me something I didn’t like, if you– 
Tell me you did something I didn’t like, if you– 
Keep on tellin’ me a fuckin’ lie, if you– 
I’ma wish the motherfucker had died, if you– 
[The red CrazySponge lightly pushes the green CrazySponge back to the ground, as the camera stabilises, whilst the two characters stare each other down, with the red clone mouthing the lyrics.]
Yeat: Keep on playin’ with my fuckin’ time, if you– 
[The green environment becomes a neon pink-purple.]
Yeat: Chasing that warm feeling inside of you–
[Abstract imagery of a sun appears in the distance as John.’s face and neck arise from it.]
Yeat: Always playin’ both sides, I’m fuckin’ tired of you–
You was schizophrenic, I realised it’s nine of you!
[As this is rapped, seven other clones of CrazySponge, all different colours zap into the void, all in vastly different corners stumbling about as the green original crawls back in panic away from the red clone, not realising that the “ground” beneath him is rising into a malformed cliff of what resembles a neon piece of graph paper.]
Yeat: I realise it’s nine of you
And I realised that you couldn’t handle none of this shit so I’ma give you it anyway.
[We pan to a close-up shot of CrazySponge’s face as he walks backwards on what now becomes a steep hill, still coated in the same neon lines and squares. The image of John. reflected in the sun shines brightly to his back as the giraffe now sits in place. A colourless holographic image of Paige appears to his left.]
Yeat: Fuck what the critics say
[And Bianca to his right.]
Yeat: And fuck what your bitch said.
[Intangible pink diamonds appear around his neck, suffocating him.]
Yeat: Gemstones like Tuesdays…
[CrazySponge struggles and is forced to his knees on the cliff as the shot peters out into black.]
Yeat: I’ma take you to the end, I’ma– 
[As the beat kicks in we pound into CrazySponge and space out just as quickly into a new shot of CrazySponge amidst the same abstract neon pink background, walking an invisible bridge into the disembodied hands.]
Yeat: Take you to the end
Push you to the edge
[CrazySponge reaches the hands and we see him looking up to an unknown source, in awe but also with a knowing smirk of confidence.]
Yeat: You’re way in over your head when you go and try and live like this.
[Cut to the back of CrazySponge held tightly in the disembodied hands, as the deity he saw above him is revealed to be the face of Phil Collins once again arriving to provide celestial justice. He speaks candidly to CrazySponge, using Yeat’s lyrics, as the music is stripped of any rhythm.]
Phil Collins: So I’ll take you to the end
But I can’t be your friend
[The hands clench onto CrazySponge as we see CrazySponge’s point of view: Phil Collins staring him down as he is frozen, helpless.]
Phil Collins: So I will show you the other way.
That’s the way of dead men.
[Our last shot of the series plays over the scrawling synths that close “1093”, as Phil Collins’ hands clench onto CrazySponge’s feet. The former CEO’s chest lunges forward as his body disintegrates, being split into two. The flesh quickly dissipates into ash as it reaches the neon atmosphere, rendered as drops of plasma that drip like a running stream of sweat onto Collins’ palms before vanishing into the nethersphere. Once the trickling synths run out of steam, so does whatever remains of CrazySponge’s body, with stray eyes and bones floating into the cosmos before being evaporated just as painfully, with no intervention from the deital Collins. Utter silence dominates the shot, as one tiny speck floats down with a breeze onto the hands, which flash a few times, accompanied by glitched noises of static, before nothing resembling even a subtle idea of a world remains. Except that speck, which eventually rests down onto an invisible platform in an otherwise featureless black abyss. The audience can finally get a glimpse of what it is: a sticker, reading “ZYNKO’S SPECIAL DAY”. A television remote is heard, and the screen is switched off.]
Category:Thursday Spin-Off
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:Episodes written by PrimitiveSponge129
Category:2024 Episodes
Category:CrazySponge
Category:Dark Comedy
Category:Dramedy
Category:Crime
Category:Politics
Category:Parody
Category:Religion
Category:LGBTQ+
Category:Userfic
Category:Series Finale