4D

Have you ever wondered what four-dimensional items look like? Have you ever pondered the wonders of more than just top, bottom, side, front, and back? Well then, this game must be for you!
If you choose to participate, read each instruction carefully, as the consequences are dire...
You cannot leave after the 1st step! If you do, your fate will be worse than death.
Step one: Get a house, any house. Yours is preferred, but any works nicely. Grab anything that can ignite; you'll need fire to set something ablaze! Get a bag of human contents (skin, organs, blood, etc.). Get proper eating utensils (they cannot be plastic or any hybrid utensil like a spork. It must be a classic silver utensil). Get a napkin. This is not required, but things might get messy. Get a .45 Caliber pistol (don't worry, you won't feel it). Get a favorite toy! This is including, but not limited to: action figures, dolls, comic books, Legos, Mini brands, rattles, building blocks, and fake telephones. And last but certainly not least: get a real phone.
Step two: walk into the house. Nobody must be with you for a number of reasons. Make sure you have a dining area that has been carefully prepared. Get a plate and empty the bag of human contents onto the plate. Sit down in your chair (if you don't have one, pull one up. And if you somehow literally have no access to a chair, you can use the floor). Get in a proper sitting position and have your utensils at hand or next to your plate in an orderly fashion. Say, "I would like to see beyond the naked eye". The ritual has now begun. You should now see everything as “twisted” or “demented” or even distorted, but the only thing that matters is the man in front of you. 
If the man is in a white tuxedo with a gray tie, you will get anything you desire, but you must never repeat the ritual, especially in an attempt to get another wish.
If the man is in a black suit with a red tie, you will be killed within the next 16 minutes.
If the man is in a navy suit with a sky blue tie, you may continue on with the ritual, but be wary, as he is always watching you.
If the man is in a tan suit with a barf green tie, your fate is undetermined.
If the man is in a maroon suit with a crimson tie, sprint out of the door. You get a 5 second head start; you're lucky he’s being so considerate.
If you managed to get the tan or navy suit, you must follow these instructions.
Step three: begin feasting on the human innards. Don’t make any faces. Just because you don't see the men in the suits doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Grab the toy and hold it to your chest, then grab the gun and shoot yourself in the head. Afterwards, you'll wake up in fourth-dimensional space.
Your eyes will feel as if they have been encased in paint and soap, but this is normal. Your brain won’t process what you're seeing until about 5 minutes after you reach this destination. Now you're probably wondering, “what do I need the phone for?” Well, you need it to call someone. Not me, you. 
“That's not possible!” Of course not! But it is now. Open your phone to the “contacts” or “messages” app, and click your name (note: if your name isn’t there, say your goodbyes to the people listed on your phone). If your name did appear, however, call it.
I am going to give you very little information about this part of this ritual, and that’s because I can’t. But I will tell you this: whatever the hell is on the other side of the phone, it isn’t you. It’s something straight from the deepest pits of the underworld, so keep the conversation humble, or the result will be bloody. 
After you complete this half of the ritual, you may then proceed with your journey through 4th dimensional space. But beware, as you only have an hour. If you exceed your time, you will be brutally killed by being morphed into nothing but a vertex of a tesseract. 
If you would like to go back home, just call yourself again and say that you’d like to leave.
I hope you enjoy your visit through time and space.
Category:Ritual
Category:Weird