Herschel Klein

Herschel Klein is an employee of the Blue Ridge Caravan Company . An eccentric bartender found at the Blue Ridge office in Appalachia, Herschel deals in drinks and outlandish rumors while also attempting to work on a writing career.
==Background==
Herschel Klein serves as a bartender for the Blue Ridge Caravan Company's bar at the western entrance to the Big Bend Tunnel, though he also claims to be an author, an aspiring playwright, and a "reveler of life."Herschel Klein: "Herschel Klein, author, reveler of life, an aspiring playwright, and on certain occasions, bartender... at your service."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) According to Vinny Costa, Herschel simply "showed up one day" and has worked for Blue Ridge ever since, as Vinny is more than happy to let Herschel's bar collect more revenue for the company.Vault 76 dweller: "Tell me more about Herschel."Vinny Costa: "What's to know? He showed up one day. Pours drinks for Blue Ridge now so we can make some extra caps. The rest is him just bein' a pain in my neck."(Vinny Costa's dialogue) Although Herschel's eccentricities have occasionally gained Vinny's ire, Herschel is still a good bartender who can pour an exceptional drink, and as such, is tolerated by his co-workers at Blue Ridge.Vault 76 dweller: "Something's wrong with that man. He's back to work though."Vinny Costa: "Yeah, he ain't right in the head, but he pours a good drink. He's a pain, but you get used to it after a while."(Vinny Costa's dialogue)
As a bartender, Herschel also trades rumors and often outright embellishments. Some of his outlandish rumors include that the Brotherhood of Steel is actually a traveling theater troupe with members coming all the way from Florida,Vault 76 dweller: "Heard any rumors lately?"Herschel Klein: "So, the Brotherhood of Steel, right? I heard a rumor it's all fake. Just a traveling theater troupe. They've got a different con in every town. One of my regulars said he saw that Paladin Rahmani lady doing a trapeze act down in Florida. True Story!"(Herschel Klein's dialogue) that everyone is actually just in a memory lounger simulation in Hoboken, New Jersey,Vault 76 dweller: "Heard any rumors lately?"Herschel Klein: "Here's one I heard: we're all just living in a simulation. That's right: none of this is real. Die here and you'll wake up in a memory lounger somewhere in Hoboken, New Jersey. To be honest, I'm not sure which reality is worse! Thank you, thank you... I'm here all week!"(Herschel Klein's dialogue) that Aries is an alien stuck after his spaceship was destroyed during the Great War,Vault 76 dweller: "Heard any rumors lately?"Herschel Klein: "You know that guard we got, Aries? He's got an encyclopedic knowledge of everything strange: cryptids, aliens, killer robots. I've been working on a theory: he IS an alien. His spaceship was destroyed when the bombs fell, and now he's stuck working for us just to get by. Poor guy. Must miss his home planet something awful."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) that the Raiders in the Crater are actually astronauts that came down with the space station,Vault 76 dweller: "Heard any rumors lately?"Herschel Klein: "Rumor has it that the folks in the Crater are actually astronauts that came down with that space station... but their mission is top secret. Or, at least, that's what one of them told me last time they mugged me. Said he couldn't tell me what the caps were for. Highly classified."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) that becoming a ghoul is actually a side effect of excessive Nuka-Cola consumption,Vault 76 dweller: "Heard any rumors lately?"Herschel Klein: "You know them ghouls? Well, I heard the bombs got nothing to do with it. It's just a side effect of drinking too much Nuka-Cola. Really, a dentist came through here telling me all about it. Said sugary drinks work a number on your teeth a few years, then, pow, you're a ghoul."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) and that an intelligent society of mole rats thrives beneath Appalachia.Herschel Klein: "You know, not half bad. And, you want to know something else I just heard? I heard that there's an intelligent and civilized mole rat society that lives underneath Appalachia. Lovely architecture, too. I kid you not!"(Herschel Klein's dialogue)
Though bartending is his primary focus as his day-to-day job, Herschel is serious about his writing aspirations, if in his own strange way. He is saddened by the fact that more people are not interested in his work, and claims to be working on an autobiography, My Life at the End of the World: A Herschel Klein Story, with a foreword by the Mister Handy Billingsley from Bolton Greens.Vault 76 dweller: "What is the Blue Ridge Caravan Company?"Herschel Klein: "Always with the questions about Blue Ridge. Never 'hello fine barkeep, what's your story?' No one's interested in reading the latest draft of 'My Life at the End of the World: A Herschel Klein Story' With a special foreword written by Billingsley of the Bolton Greens. Fine. The Blue Ridge Caravan Company is a caravan company. Hard as it is to believe, given its incredibly cryptic and non-descriptive name, I know. People pay us money to get things from one place to another place. If you want work, head over to the East side of the tunnel and talk to Vinny."(Herschel Klein's dialogue)
Herschel's lack of success in his hopeful career as a post-War author takes focus in the quest Costa Business: Herschel. A particularly nasty case of writer's block has affected Herschel to the point that Vinny Costa has noticed. In his roadblock, Herschel becomes slightly more self-deprecating than usual,Vault 76 dweller: "Just get back to serving the wine, instead of drinking it."Herschel Klein: "Ha! Oh uh, you're serious? You know, if I wasn't so busy being pathetic, I'd really give you knock in the... eh, who am I kidding. Help me out, will you"(Herschel Klein's dialogue)Vault 76 dweller: "Sure, this doesn't sound crazy at all. But I'll do it."Herschel Klein: "I know, I know, I sound like a schmuck. Can't you see I'm desperate though. I'm begging you. Many thanks and yada yada yada."(Herschel Klein's dialogue)Herschel Klein: "What, are you here to watch the show? "A Paltry and Pitiful Putz", starring yours truly, the washed up has-been... Herschel Klein."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) which Vinny refers to as "whining."Vinny Costa: "Hey, so... did ya fix Herschel's whinin' yet or what?"(Vinny Costa's dialogue) To regain his motivation, Herschel asks the Vault Dwellers to investigate one of the many rumors he has heard. Herschel has heard of a supposed ghostly writer named Jacque haunting the Torrance House. Herschel wants to read Jacque's writing to gain inspiration for his own works, so that he may "share [Herschel's] brilliance and beauty with the world."Herschel Klein: "See, I've got a nasty case of writer's block. Honest, I'm telling you, I'm on the rocks. Is life worth living if you can't share your brilliance and beauty with the world? You know, I think I just figured out what I need though. I know this sounds crazy, but listen, rumor has it that there's uh... this ghost... that, well... uh writes. Or wrote. Is it writes or wrote? If it's a ghost would it be past tense... anyway, nevermind that. His name's Jacque or something or other. You ever heard of Torrance House? Sounds like he just litters the place with pages of his writings. Remarkable writings might I add. Hey, if he doesn't want them I'll take them! Go have a look around that house for me, and bring me back some of those writings. That's the ticket!"(Herschel Klein's dialogue)Vault 76 dweller: "Why do you want a ghost's writings again?"Herschel Klein: "Look, I know you don't believe me. I barely believe me too. Thing is though, those writings might be exactly what I need to cure my writer's block. Thing is though, those writings might be exactly what I need to cure my writer's block. Herschel needs his inspiration, I'm begging you!"(Herschel Klein's dialogue)
Although Herschel is aware that the story of Jacque may sound as ridiculous as his other rumors,Vault 76 dweller: "Let's back up. Are you kidding me?"Herschel Klein: "Whether it's real or whether it's a joke, what does it matter? It's not like I want to steal his ideas, I just want to "borrow" a few. For good luck and inspiration. And any extra you find, for good measure. That doesn't hurt nothing, does it?"(Herschel Klein's dialogue) it does turn out to have a nugget of truth in it, if slightly misguided. Jacque is actually a Protectron who produced a series of jeering notes directed at a Blood Eagle named Striker.Writings of Jacque If told about Jacque, Herschel will express surprise at both of the facts that the writings were realVault 76 dwellers: "I found your ghost writings. Here you go."Herschel Klein: "What? You did? I can't believe it. You mean they actually exist? Alright, who's the comedian?"(Herschel Klein's dialogue) and were actually produced by a robot (though he says the latter should be kept between him and the Vault Dwellers).Vault 76 dweller: "Well you see, Jacque was actually a malfunctioning robot."Herschel Klein: "Ha! You mean to tell me... a robot... that's priceless. Here I was thinking a ghost is actually out there writing books and all. You know, let's just keep this a secret between you and me." Alternatively, if Herschel is lied to and made to believe that the ghost is real, he will be intrigued and joke about the prospect of a "ghostwriter,"Vault 76 dweller: "[Lie] Not kidding. Jacque, and his writings are the real deal."Herschel Klein: "Well I'll be. The chances of something like that. One in a million! You don't think he'll come to haunt me now do you? Meh, what'll it matter, maybe he could be my ghostwriter."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) and Vinny remarks that Herschel has started to have conversations with thin air, though he still bartends just fine.Vault 76 dweller: "Herschel back to his old self yet?"Vinny Costa: "Don't know what ya did for him, but he's even more of a weirdo than he was before. Always mutterin' things to himself. Havin' conversations with thin air. But, eh... he's workin' I guess."(Vinny Costa's dialogue) Either way, Herschel becomes reinvigorated and resumes work on his writings, as well as serving drinks without complaint.Herschel Klein: "I'll be honest. I think this did the trick. Herschel's back baby! In mind, body and spirit. Ha, "spirit", you see?! It's working already! Oh... and spirit like the drink... triple entendre! A new record! Seriously though, thanks."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) Even if Jacque's writings turn out to "stink," that is beside the point:Herschel Klein: "His writings stink! They stink I'm telling you. And he doesn't haunt much better either, believe me. I've had better hauntings after eating one of Rudy's spoiled soups. Kept me up all night!"(Herschel Klein's dialogue) Herschel expresses his gratitude by promising to include the Vault Dwellers in one of his stories, which he puffs up as a rare honor, in typical Herschel fashion.Vault 76 dweller: "Don't mention it. Happy to help."Herschel Klein: "To show you my gratitude, I'll make mention of you in one of my stories. Trust me, not many people are lucky enough to make it into a Herschel Klein tale!"(Herschel Klein's dialogue)
==Interactions with the player character==
===Interactions overview===
===Quests===
* Out of the Blue: Herschel serves the Vault Dweller and Leila Rahmani drinks. The player can ask for whiskey, Nuka-Cola, a Pickaxe Pilsner, or with a low Intelligence SPECIAL check, a Nukashine.
* Costa Business: Herschel: Herschel is suffering from writer's block. Go to Torrance House where there are rumors of a ghostly writer named Jacque. Collect the five notes around the area. Return to Herschel and tell him the truth about Jacque or lie.
==Inventory==
==Notes==
* Herschel often uses loanwords from Yiddish in his dialogue, such as "schlepping,"Vault 76 dweller: "Enough already, get back to work."Herschel Klein: "Wait a minute, how do you know I'm not working? Oh, ok I get it, Vinny has you checking up on me hasn't he? Yeah, that makes sense. I've just been schlepping around lately. Can't believe I'm this far gone for Vinny to notice. Fine, it's not what you think though."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) "schmuck," "shlumps"Herschel Klein: "A new face. Wonderful! The shlumps around here were getting pretty boring."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) and "putz."
* Herschel appears to balk at Vinny Costa, jokingly calling him uneducated, and saying that he hates it when Vinny is right.Vault 76 dweller: "Vinny sent me. He says you're not working up to his standards."Herschel Klein: "Ha! Vinny? Standards? I'm surprised he even knows the word, between you and me. Actually, you know what, I'm glad he's furthering his education. Applaud him even! But, uh... he's right, though. I am in a bit of a rut these days. And, ooh, do I hate it when he's right."(Herschel Klein's dialogue) Vinny, in turn, sees Herschel as "weird"Vault 76 dweller: "Herschel's fine. He just needed some "spirit" is all."Vinny Costa: "What? You know, nevermind. You're almost as weird as him, ya know that? Anyways, glad ya figured it out or whatever."(Vinny Costa's dialogue) and a "pain in the neck" but will tolerate him for the extra caps brought in.
==Appearances==
Herschel Klein appears only . His character was expanded upon in the Once in a Blue Moon update.
==References==
Category:Steel Reign human characters
Category:Blue Ridge Caravan Company characters
ru:Гершель Кляйн