Certified-paddlers Channel

Item #: SCP-42069FunnyNumber
Object Class: Yes
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-42069FunnyNumber is primarily focused on preventing DS Touchscreens from fully confirming or denying its existence. For this purpose, on-site Task Force Sigma-80085 ("Certified Table Tennis Players") has been organized to take the absolute piss out of them. Task Force Sigma-80085 is authorized to use lethal force when dealing with DS Touchscreens who claim SCP-42069FunnyNumber is real. All members of Task Force Sigma-80085 are to be tested bi-annually for getting too full of themselves because they have the role.
Description: SCP-42069FunnyNumber (colloquially referred to as #certified-paddlers) is a channel on the Rhythm Gehenna Discord server only accessible by those who have the Certified Table Tennis Player role. If one does not have the role, then they are unable to see the channel. 
The channel was established at approximately ██-██-2021 when a dude said "first". Since then, two hundred thirty-one (231) people have been killed, and another seven (7) injured or maimed as a direct result of SCP-42069FunnyNumber. A complete list of casualties is included in Supplement 666-42-68, "Deaths Resulting from Event 123-45-Yes," and include:
*Twenty (20) members spontaneously combusted after making an illegal custom remix
*Four (4) members succumbed to actualfuckinggun.
*One (1) member just had a heart attack and died. How is this anomalous? Idk the vibes were off
*Two (2) Three (3) people said Lockstep was "shit". They were never heard from again.
*Fifty-six (56) members were maimed and left to die from their injuries by Paddlers.
Interview 2778-1: 
Interviewed: Some dude
Interviewer: ██ ██████
Foreword: What the fuck.
<Begin Log>
██ ██████: So anyways I'm writing this shit-
Some dude: This is the worst SCP ever, you don't know how to end this page, so you just put an interview out of nowhere. #certified-paddlers isn't real. You're wasting your fucking time writing this convoluted bullshit, go to hell.