It Came from Clown County

IT CAME FROM CLOWN COUNTY - #26
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"I love the sweet smell of ass in the morning." I said to myself after I finished a massive dump. I reached for the toilet paper, but to my shock and horror, there was none. "Ah shiiiioot." I whispered. I pulled my pants up and poked my head out the doorway. "Need toilet paper! Just dropped a mondo duke." I shouted down the school halls. A student came running out one of the class rooms and handed me some papers. "These are my school grades from last semester, you can wipe your ass with them if you want." Todd said. "Thanks, Todd - you the man!" I sat back on my throne to finish wiping away the evidence of fecal matter from my rectal area. I tried flushing the toilet, but I unfortunately seemed to have clogged it. I pulled my pants up and left the bathroom. "I destroyed the toilet. Good luck, Sam." I said to the school janitor walking down the hallway.
Today is Friday the 31st of October. In other words, it's Halloween, and because of it the school decided not to host any classes today. Instead, from 10 AM - 2 PM the school is holding some kind of Halloween show-and-tell thing. Basically, students in each grade has to create some diorama or some other kind of physical project that ties-in to Halloween. Next week we will be graded, and the highest graded will receive some cool prizes apparently. Bonus points if you dress in costume. These contests are always scams so I didn't even bother participating. But I came to school anyway because I was in the area and I really needed to use the bathroom.
Things were wrapping up so there were a bunch of kids walking down the halls in various costumes. A lot of them were really lazy and nothing special. Witches, robes, zombies, and some even wrapped in toilet paper to resemble mummies. So that's where all the toilet paper went. Strangely, there was one tall kid with long hair wearing a backwards cap, sunglasses, and a trench coat. I have no idea how he hasn't been kicked out by now. Anyway, I walked by one of the classrooms and saw there was still a participant in there. I stepped back and peered my head in the room. There were eight long desk-like tables and chairs put up against the wall. There was only one person in here, which was some tall kid in a clown outfit.
Orange and blue polka-dots and red stripes on the outfit, blue-colored Afro, white face make-up with red over the lips, and a couple tear drops from the black-shaded eyes. Out of all the costumes I've seen today, this was definitely the best one. His set-up intrigued me too, because there was no typical diorama. Instead there was a hamster cage on the table with a big blue sign on it that read "CLOWN COUNTY". Curious, I walked in the room and awkwardly waved at the clown. "So uh, what's your set-up about? Sorry I was just walking by and it caught my attention." I nervously asked the clown. His costume was so scary good it made me kinda nervous. "Come here. I'll show ya..." he said in a raspy whisper.
I got closer, and saw there was a large hamster nibbling on the cage. There were a bunch of bite marks on the steel bars. It had some flora coral around its neck and a big bright red clown nose on its nose. Now I was even more curious. The clown laughed when I approached the cage. He pointed at me and moved slowly moved his finger around in the air, signaling me to follow it. After a few seconds he swiftly pointed at the cage, followed by a loud pop sound. I quickly stared at the cage and saw the hamster was no longer there. "Whoa! Is this some kind of magic trick?" I blurted out, impressed with what I saw. "Ehehehehehe!" the clown laughed. There was probably some trap door the hamster crawled in and the clown was trying to distract me from it. But still, this was better than a lot of the other crappy stuff I've seen during this event. One kid literally showed off a cruddy volcano diorama he built while wearing a Dracula cape. What do vampires and Halloween have to do with a volcano? I swear, people are so cheap and fake nowadays.
"Wrap it up!" a voice shouted into the room. I turned around and saw the principal's head peering in. Well I guess that's my cue to go. "Cool trick!" I complimented the clown as I walked off. But once again he didn't say anything. The whole hamster clown thing was very odd, so I don't know what I expected. People in this town can't be trusted. So many backstabbers and jerks. My friend Jamaine is pretty cool though. He's my homie. He didn't show up to school today because he thought the whole Halloween diorama contest-thing was lame. I don't blame him, because it was indeed very lame. Except for the disappearing clown hamster of course. Hopefully he gets an A+ for that.
I was closer to the back exit than I was to the front entrance, so I figured I would just go that way instead. I've been walking all morning and I accidentally took my backpack with me today even know I didn't have to. So that was on my back all morning as well. I took a right turn, bumped into some costumed kids then walked till I could finally push on the glass door and step outside. The smell of wet asphalt entered my nostrils and the chill of the autumn cold swept against my arm hairs. The ground was a little damp since it rained earlier, and there were a bunch of gold and yellow leaves on the ground. It's a chilly October day alright.
As I headed away from the school, I passed something I shouldn't have. The notorious school alley. The alley is located outside the back exit of the school and that's where the dumpsters reside. I swear, they hardly ever get emptied. Despite the dreadful smell that lingers in the alley, it's where all the shady kids hang out. I don't like it one bit. In fact, I think it should be barred off and made illegal to access it. So many kids have been beaten to death and tossed in those dumpsters and left there to rot like they were expired meat. Does the school do anything about it? No, they just the corpse lay there and inform the parents when rigor mortis sets in. Maybe I should dig one of the skeletons out of the trash and use it as a Halloween decoration. Wait, what I'm saying...
"Yo 8 mile, where you headin'?" one of the tall school bullies spoke from the alleyway at me.
Oh no. It's them... my worst nightmare: HDX. Hamtall, Deshawn, and Xaiver -- the school bullies that have a bone to pick with me (literally). You see, Jamaine used to be friends with them until they had a falling out, and shortly thereafter he became friends with me. So when they see me, they associate me with Jamanie. Which means they take my lunch money and pants me in the halls with my balls tied around my legs. I froze in place just staring at them. They were 16 - 18 years old, Deshawn wore a backwards cap, Xavier had a goatee and wore a durag, and Hamtall, the tallest, had a mustache and wore a snapback hat. Xavier laughed at seeing me in their sights, followed by him smoking a cigarette. "Punk ass bitch, whatcha eye ballin' us for?" Hamtall quipped. "He's probably pissin' himself right now." Deshawn suggested, followed by Xavier giggling. What am I gonna do, run? Or just stand here until one of them gives me a nookie and puts a cigarette to my neck?
"I-- I... I... I'm I'm -- I" I stuttered and stumbled in shock. "School's out, pretty boy. It's just you and us." Hamtall threatened, followed by Deshawn saying "Face the music, bitch." "Yo let's hit this on worldstar!" Xavier suggested while chuckling. He might've been high. "Get over here or we'll give it to Jamaine too." Deshawn threatened. They're really gonna beat me up and broadcast it to the internet for views. I can't believe this is happening! But I must do it to protect Jamaine. He's my only friend and I don't want him to have hospital bills. I gulped, swallowing my pride, and reluctantly squirmed my way into the alley. Xavier was already recording with a big open smile on his face. "Prey has entered the wolf's den!" Deshawn howled, followed by Xavier laughing. Hamtall looked eager to pummel my face into the ground. I was only a couple feet away from them, so I'm not moving an inch more. I know Hamtall will step forward and humiliate me in a painful way. "WORLDSTAAAAAR! LET'S GET IT!" Xavier howled some more.
Hamtall grabbed me tight by the backpack strap near my chest. He's gonna spit in my face, I just know it. So I closed my eyes and prepared for the worst, while Xavier and Deshawn kept laughing. "3... 2... 1" I counted down in my head with my eyes squinted really hard. I don't know how I'm gonna come out looking from this, but I'm ready for it. Just like how I'm always ready for the math test, but always fail it. "The fu-- AAGH! Shhhii-OOOOO-ooo-OOO OH SH-- AH AH WHAT THE F--" Hamtall frantically sputtered. I opened my eyes quickly. Hamtall was thrusting his body around and acted like something was tickling and hurting him at the same time. It was like there was an invisible person there messing with him! Deshawn looked baffled, while Xavier's smile disappeared and he kept recording.
Hamtall fell to the cold ground, frantically squirming around like a worm when it rains. I never seen anything like it... It was so bizarre! "Bro what the triple heck is wrong with you??" Xavier called out while still recording on his phone. For a split second I saw a very fast object run out of Hamtall's hoodie. Suddenly, Xavier dropped his phone. "AHHHH, AH, MY LEG!" Xavier cried while grabbing a hold of his knee like he was in horrible pain. "Bro I'm getting out of here!" Deshawn cried before darting out of the alleyway and past me. I just stood there baffled as to what was going on before my eyes. There's an invisible force that's viciously attacking Hamtall and Deshawn! Maybe it's a pissed-off ghost. If so I wouldn't mind being friends with it. "Ahhhhh my nuts! My precious nuts! My girl ain't gonna like this! We ain't gonna have no babies now!" Hamtall cried out in pain. I took the opportunity to get the heck out of there.
In about 20 minutes I finally made it to my block. But instead of heading straight home, I decided to give Jamaine a visit. I pounded on the door to his house and a few seconds later a disgusting creature answered. It was Jamaine's mom, who was very sweet and offered me some Halloween cookies. "Thanks but not now Mrs. Holton -- Is Jamaine there?" I asked as I stepped in the house. "Yes, he's upstairs doing homework." she affirmed. I rushed past her and darted up the stairs. I knocked on Jamine's door, just below the "MAN CAVE" sticker. "Mom! For the last time, no I did not try putting Natasha in the dog cage!" Jamaine shouted, thinking I was his mother. Jamaine smiled and laughed when I opened the door and revealed it was me.
I slipped my backpack off and tossed it on his bed near where he was sitting. His room was kinda small. He had a desk with a TV on it facing the bed, and next to the TV desk was his dresser (with homework on it) and next to the dresser was his closet full of jackets, hoodies, and shoes. The space between the desk and bed is small, so he has to sit on the bed if he wants to game on the TV. Of course, he was doing that instead of doing homework. "So how did the School Halloween Fair go?" Jamaine asked, adjusting his glasses below his buzzcut. He never wears the glasses at school in fear of HDX picking on him for it. "It was lame, just as you predicted. I took a huge dump and ran out of toilet paper, which was honestly more interesting than anything I saw there," I said, "except for this one thing."
"Haha, what was it?" Jamaine chuckled while gaming on the TV. "There was this freaky clown with a hamster cage, and he made the hamster inside it disappear. It probably crawled under the rubble while I was looking away, but that doesn't matter. Something crazier happened." I said in a hurry to get to the main point. "HDX were about to beat me to a pulp in a school alley and broadcast it on WorldStar." I revealed. Jamaine paused his game and looked at me. "Burh..." he blurted. "Yeah, but want to know how I avoided it?", I asked, following with "It's very strange, and to be honest, paranormal." Jamaine cocked his head toward me with a confused look on his face. I'm about to sound ridiculous, I just know it.
"A ghost beat them up. I'm not joking! Hamtall was about to spit in my face when suddenly he fell to the ground acted like something was tickling him to death. Same thing happened to Xavier. It was the craziest thing I had ever seen!" I sputtered. "Bro, there's no way. You gotta be pullin' my leg." Jamaine said in disbelief. "I'm one of those most honest people you know, and you know that. I wouldn't lie about something so crazy!" I tried explaining myself. "Maybe they were faking it. They probably want an excuse to beat you and me up." Jamaine suggested. "But they were about to beat me up anyway AND do it for internet clout. So faking it makes no sense." I said. Jamaine shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know man. I can hardly believe it myself." he said.
"Cookies are ready!" Mrs. Holton announced from downstairs. Jamaine got up and I followed him downstairs. But before he did, he said "Oh, and just so you know, I did try Natasha in the dog cage, haha!" We made it to the kitchen where Jamaine and Natasha took a cookie from the cookie rack. There were about 20 cookies on that rack. "Be sure to leave some for your sister, she isn't hungry right now." Mrs. Holton said. Jamaine nudged me while his mom and sister went to the other side of the kitchen. "The cookies had before these were laced with something other than cookie dough if you know what I mean." he chuckled in a whisper. "Do what now?!" Mrs. Holton questioned, glancing at us with a cold stare. "N-nothing, mom!" Jamaine stated in a nervous tone while munching on the cookie very fast. "Let's get out of here." he whispered. We hurried up back to his room and played on the game for a few hours.
"Shoot, it's 6 PM. The trick-or-treaters are gonna come by any minute." Jamaine said, "So that means we'll have to chill downstairs for a bit." he continued. As we got up from the bed to head out of the room, I noticed something. "Hey, uh... Jamaine?" I said confused. "Huh?" he stopped and spun around. He rushed over to the dresser as I stared at it. Jamaine's homework was ripped to shreds. "What the heck man, who did this?!" he questioned in distress. "It couldn't have been the dog, it's been outside all this time. And Natasha was downstairs with mom... This makes no flippin' sense!" he continued. "I'm telling you dude, this day is weird. A ghost beating up HDX and now this." I said. Jamaine put his hands on his head and paced back and forth before throwing his arms up in the air. "Welp. Looks like I'm just gonna have to blame the doggy dog for eating my homework!" he said in defeat. He's right, there's no way his sister or the dog could've torn up his homework. Literally impossible. But things were gonna get worse.
"Jamaine Harold Holton I demand you get your ass downstairs now!" Mrs. Holton yelled from downstairs. We stopped our way downstairs to see what she was so worked up about. "Did you and your friend seriously just eat all my damn cookies? Natasha didn't get to have one!" she scolded. "What?! Me and him haven't come down here since you said they were ready!" Jamaine exclaimed. "Yeah Mrs. Holton, he's telling the truth." I chimed in. "Do you got the munchies, boy?" "Mom, no! I do take pills (medication), don't do speed, don't do crack, don't do coke, I do smoke weed, don't do smack, I do shrooms, do drink beer!" Jamaine stressed. "Boy I'ma search your room later. If I found any of the stuff you just said, I'm shucking that Xbox Wii out the damn window!" Mrs. Holton threatened. Jamaine put his hands over his face in distress.
"Since you don't want to share with your sister, she won't share with you either. No Halloween candy for you!" Mrs. Holton said sternly. "But mom!" "I don't want to hear it Jamaine." Mrs. Holton said. "We'll be back in a bit. It's almost dark out. I'm sure Natasha will get a lot of candy -- which you will have none of." Mrs. Holton snark'd before walking out the door with her daughter. "Oh, and you can't have any candy from this bowl either. It's for the trick-or-treaters. Also please give the dog some more food in his bowl outside" she said before shutting the door and leaving. "Bro..." I said in anguish. "My shredded homework and now this. Something very strange is going on." Jamaine spoke.
Me and Jamaine went to the kitchen and he picked up the large bag of dog food while I held the backdoor for him. He dropped the bag when we saw the dog was missing. We rushed over to the dog cage. It was empty. And his leash, which was tied to the tree, was cut it half. It looked like something ate through it. "No, no, no! This can't be happening!" Jamaine cried. "Did I bring some kind of entity here? If so, I'll just leave man." I suggested. "No dude, it's fine... I need you to stay. Maybe we can watch it in the act." Jamaine said. Suddenly, a loud shatter came from the kitchen. Me and 'Maine ran into the kitchen and saw a plate that was on the table had shattered on the floor. "Let's get the Michael Vick out of here!" Jamaine cried before running to the front door to escape the madness.
We opened the door, but we couldn't leave. There were horrible creatures blocking the doorway. Trick-or-treaters. "Trick-or-treat!" the kids greeted. "Look, here, take the candy and go. Happy H-Halloween!" Jamaine fumbled while tossing copious amounts of candy in the kids' bags. We waited for them to leave and headed out to the front lawn. "This is worse than the time Hamtall stretched out my balls across the football field and kicked them to the uprights." Jamaine said. "No, it's worse than the time Xavier pants'd me in the halls and tried giving me a homemade vasectomy." I argued. "Oh. Forgot about that." Jamaine replied.
We pondered on the lawn for a bit before going back inside. We were terrified of the ghost, but we had to catch it in the act. We were sitting on the couch trying to come up with a plan. "We need a ghost box, or a Quija board. We need to communicate with it and tell it leave." I suggested. "Damn straight." Jamaine agreed. Then all of a sudden, all the lights in the house shut off. "Oh no..." I muttered. "Yup. We're done." Jamaine said, fed up with this dang ghost. The power shut off, but his mom had lit a bunch of candles, so we could still see a bit. But it was very, very creepy. We got up from the couch and tried running to the front door, but I tripped over something. "Ow!" I cried as I stumbled onto the floor. "Bro, you alright?!" Jamaine asked. "Augh, yeah, I tripped over something." I got up from the floor an tried reaching for the doorknob.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Me and Jamaine looked at each other in the darkness. I couldn't see his face that well, but I could sense he had a look of fear. So did I. But it's probably a group of trick-or-treaters. I fumbled for the doorknob then opened the door. "Trick-or-treat, bitch!" Freddy Kruger said before stabbing us with his sharp claws. Out of pure shock I tripped backward and fell ass-first onto the hard wooden floor. "Ahahahahaha!" Freddy manically laughed. Jamaine screamed and dove onto the couch in fear.
There were three tall figures standing in the doorway, with the candles in the room just barely illuminating them. The one in the middle with the red and black striped sweater was the tallest. His face was painted white with some black, his hair was orange, scraggly, and long -- there was black around his eyes, and he wore a brown cowboy hat. Worst of all, he was equipped with Freddy Kruger's claw glove. The figure on the left wore a blue boiler suit and also had clown make up, as did the very right figure, but this one was wearing a beat-up brown jacket.
"No! It can't be!" I cried. "Yes it can be!" Hamtall quipped before lifting me up by the shirt. Hamtall was the Freddy Kruger clown. I was kicking my legs in the air as he held me by his one hand. He raised his other hand with the claw glove to my face. "WORDLSTAAAAAARRR!" Xavier, the Michael Myers clown yelled. Deshawn was recording too, and was giggling profusely. "We finna witness the first murder on WorldStar!" "Ha, ha! Let's get it!" Xavier and Deshawn howled respectively. Jamaine watched in shock and horror as he scrawled up on the couch. "You can't have two balls in the court. I say we pop the other one!" Hamtall threatened. "No! No! NOOO!" I cried in horrible fear. I clenched my teeth and squinted my eyes as I prepared for Hamtall to slice one of my testicles off as its broadcasted to the internet. I'll never be able to go back to school or get a job after this.
"Hahahah--HA, AH! WHAT THE HELL IS ON MY BACK!?" Hamtall cried while nudging me in the air before dropping me. Hamtall frantically reached behind his back with his claws trying to get whatever it was off it. "Bro what the hell is that!" Xavier cried. "It's on your neck, it's on your neck!" Deshawn shouted. Jamaine got up from the couch and stood behind me. Hamtall flailed his arms around and tried hitting the back of his neck. That's when he let out a dreadful war cry. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Hamtall screamed and fell to the couch and began to sporadically thrash around trying to get the ghost off him. "THAT THING WAS HUGE!" Deshawn exclaimed. What in the world did they see? "IT'S IN MY HAIR! IT'S IN MY HAIR!" Hamtall cried. I was horrified but amused at the same time that this bully was looking like a huge pansy to the world.
Xavier stepped in his flashlight-equipped phone and began filming the top of Hamtall's head. "BRO, WHAT IS THAT!" questioned Xavier. Things got worse for the three stooges when a familiar bark echoed outside. Deshawn turned around and met his match. It was Doggy Dog! He barked then leaped on Dehawn, biting his jacket. He screamed before falling and hitting his head on the hard floor, knocking him out. Doggy Dog ripped a piece of his jacket off, then turned to Xavier. "EAUGH, NUH UH!" Xavier noped before taking running into the kitchen. He knocked over chairs and dishes trying to escape the wrath of Doggy Dog, but it was no use. Hamtall is still getting attacked on the couch, Deshawn is knocked out, and Xavier is being chased around by Jamaine's dog. I guess tonight wasn't so bad after all. Until...
"WHAT IN THE HAIL IS GOING ON HERE?!" Mrs. Holton shouted in the doorway, baffled to the scene taking place. "I-Intruders!" I blurted out. Mrs. Holton wasn't having it. She grabbed Natasha's bag of Halloween candy and began senselessly beating Hamtall to death with it. She did this while standing over Deshawn's passed-out body and while Natasha shrieked. It was such a weird scene for my brain to process. I then heard the backdoor fly open, suggesting Xavier had booked it out of there. I heard barks outside too, meaning he was still getting chased by the dog. Hah.
Mrs. Holton took a break from beating Hamtall and ordered Jamaine to call the police. "O-on it, mom!" Jamaine stammered, fumbling for his phone in his pocket. Hamtall was beat. He was sprawled out on the couch and not making much movement. He looked like my stepfather waking up on a Sunday morning from a hangover. As this was staring at him, I noticed something jump from the couch and scurry across the floor past me. I made a 180 turn and saw the thing was heading up the stairs. It looked like a very large rat with something on its neck. "These better not be your drug dealing buddies!" Mrs. Holton shouted. "They're not, mom! They're the school bullies that taped my balls to my backpack that one time!" Jamaine argued. Meanwhile Natasha was standing in the doorway still horrified at what was happening. "Sweetie, go upstairs or something while we deal with this, OK?" Mrs. Holton said, but she wasn't budging.
I let the Holtons deal with the bizarre scene, and jogged up the stairs to follow the small creature I had just saw. I reached the top and scanned my eyes around the area, trying to figure out which room it went in. Natahsa's room door was slightly cracked open so I peered inside. She had a small table with a lot of paper drawings and crowns on it. But to my horror, all of her drawings were torn to shreds. I quickly stepped in the room and approached the scene. All of her art stuff -- snapped in half or mangled. It looked like some kind of speed demon was nibbling on them. Could it be that a rat from the school alley attacked HDX and followed me to Jamaine's house? This is insane.
All the papers were ripped up... except for one. It was a crayon drawing of a clown on a rainy day with the words "it's ok to be sad" written on it. There were also two demonic figures on each side of the clown. It's the only surviving drawing and it looks like something Natasha would draw, so this has me a little freaked out. But what caught my eye the most though was this. Right next to the creepy clown's feet... was a rodent. Not just any other rodent, but a hamster. And the clown looked eerily similar to the one I saw at the Clown County set-up at school. My blood ran cold and I got the chills. After the clown made the hamster disappear, I never saw it reappear. Could it be the clown accidentally teleported the hamster to my backpack or something?
"Hehehehe. . ."
The sound of a clown laughing emitted from Jamaine's room. My pupils shrunk and my heart began beating faster. I was in fight or flight mode now. I was paralyzed with fear and was unsure of what to do. I felt like jumping out of Natasha's window. There was no way I could confront this thing. I was already in shock when HDX paid us a visit, but now I feel like I'm on another plane of reality. How did this clown and its hamster follow me to Jamaine's house and I never noticed? What could this thing want from me?! My mind raced with a thousand thoughts per second on this already hectic day. This is the scariest Halloween of my life. and I'll never forget it.
I took a hard swallow and turned around. I was facing the doorway now. I saw that Jamaine's door was wide open. The power was out and the only form of light out here was the full moonlight pouring in the windows, but I could see someone standing in Jamaine's room by his closet. I took a step forward to get a better look. It... it was Natasha. I felt oddly defensive in this moment, and stepped out of her room and peered into his room from the doorway. The closet door was creaked open and it looked like she was talking to something inside it. I let out a loud gasp when I saw the arm of a clown grab Natasha's hand and pull her into the closet. With my jaw agape and adrenaline rushing, I darted as fast I could to the closet door and swung it open.
The only thing in the closet was a red balloon with a note attached that read, "Off to Clown County!"
Category:Halloween
Category:School
Category:Clowns
Category:Animals
Category:Bullies