McHoopla

This is the eleventh Hoopla's Fantastic Beach short. 
==Transcript==
(We see Hoopla sitting at his computer watching the latest Squidtendo Direct.)
Hoopla: Ah, Squidtendo Directs. These bad boys never let me down.
Announcer: Introducing "Battle For Not Bikini Bottom Dehydrated!".
Hoopla: (struggling to speak, in awe) B- b- b- b- b- BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM DEHYDRATED?!!!!
Announcer: Play as SpringBoob!
Hoopla: Wow…
Announcer: And Fatfrick!
Hoopla: HOOPLA!!
Announcer: And for the first time ever, introducing Paige Auger!
(pause)
Hoopla: I don't know who that is but I want it!
Announcer: And that's not all! You can also buy the Fun edition! For only two-hundred more dollars you can get an overpriced plastic miniature statue of SpringBoob, Fatfrick and I'll even throw in my old socks!
(Hoopla jumps up and down in excitement)
Hoopla: OH MY GOSH, I NEED IT!
(he rushes over to his sea bear-shaped piggy bank and smashes it, only find that it's empty)
Hoopla: o
(he checks his wallet but it's also empty)
Hoopla: double o
(pause)
Hoopla: Nevermind, I'll just use credit. (yelling) BOOPLA! Have you got my credit card?
(pause)
Boopla: (off-screen) Uh, no.
Hoopla: ARE YOU SURE?!
Boopla: (off-screen) Uh, yeah. I'm definitely not bidding your limit on the black market or anything. (nervously chuckles)
Hoopla: (sighs) Then there's only one thing for it. I'm gonna have to get a job. But it won't be easy.
(cut to Hoopla sitting in the manager's office at McDonald's)
Manager: You're hired!
Hoopla: wait wut
Manager: You're the first person who's applied for a job here in months! 
Hoopla: Really? Wow, I might actually be able to save up enough money now. 
Manager: Sure whatever, kid. Just make sure to do a good job or we won't be paying ya.
Hoopla: So, when does my training begin?
Manager: (laughs) Oh, you're such a jokester!
Hoopla: No, seriously, when's my training?
Manager: Training?! You think corporate gives us enough budget for that? Hell no! Let's see how you do on the cash register first, eh?
(cut to Hoopla at the cash register in a cheesy McDonald's uniform. Patrick walks up to the counter.)
Patrick: Yeah I'll take a whopper please.
Hoopla: Sir, this is McDonald's, not Burger King.
Patrick: Wait, you mean I've been mixing them both up this entire time?!
(pause)
Hoopla: Yes, now could you order something that's actually on the menu?
Patrick: Oh I'll just have a box of nuggets.
Hoopla: Medium or large?
Patrick: Large.
Hoopla: (processes the order and gives Patrick a receipt) Here you go, sir. 
Patrick: Thanks.
(he walks off)
Hoopla: Huh, this isn't so hard actually.
(a customer with long hair and makeup approaches the counter) 
Customer: Hi, I'm in a bit of a rush so, like, is there anything on the menu you'd recommend?
Hoopla: No.
(pause)
Customer: Are you su-
Hoopla: No. Look, ma'am-
Customer: Um, I'm a man.
Hoopla: But you have-
Customer: I'd like to speak to the manager.
Hoopla: (nervous) Well, I don't think that would be necessary, ma-
Customer: (annoyed) I'M A DUDE!
(the manager comes out)
Manager: What's all this ruckus about?
Customer: This disrespectful employee here is assuming my gender!
Manager: (angry) HOOPLA! How dare you do that? This is 2020! You can't just assume people's genders! I'm very sorry, ma-
Customer: Oh, for f**k's sake! (they storm off)
Hoopla: (terrified) Am I fired?
(pause)
Manager: Course not! Do you think corporate gives us the staff to do that? I'm moving you to the kitchen!
(cut to Hoopla working in the kitchen)
Hoopla: So, like, what am I supposed to do?
Employee: No idea, dude. Just do what I do and slack off.
Hoopla: o
Employee 2: We just got an order in for three crappy meals.
Hoopla: You mean "happy meals", right?
Employee 2: No, the food here's absolute crap so we just call everything "crappy meals". It's an in-joke.
Hoopla: That's nice, but what did they actually order? 
Employee 2: Oh, three happy meals. Chicken nuggets.
Employee: Chicken nuggets? Damn, we're all out. Sold them all to some fat starfish earlier...
Employee 2: Oh well, they'll just have to go withou-
Hoopla: No! I need to do a good job here or I won't get paid! We need to get some more chicken nuggets!
Employee: I just said, we're all out! The next delivery's tomorrow! Where the hell are we going to get some from?!
(cut to Hoopla ordering at KFC in his uniform)
Hoopla: Yeah, I'm gonna need some chicken nuggets.
Cashier: You mean the popco-
Hoopla: Honestly I don't care.
Cashier: How many do you want?
Hoopla: How many do you have?
(cut back to McDonald's. A dissatisfied customer makes her way back up to the counter.)
Hoopla: Could I help you? 
Customer: You know, these nuggets are quite similar to the ones they have at KFC.. 
Hoopla: (chuckles) Oh, no. Patented McDonald's nuggets. Old family recipe. 
(cut to a news report)
Reporter: Breaking news, m'kay. McDonald's has been sued for selling popcorn chicken nuggets from KFC.
(the camera zooms out to reveal Hoopla watching the report)
Hoopla: Welp, I guess I'm not getting my game any time soon.
Boopla: Yeah, that really sucks.
Hoopla: By the way, what kind of contacts do you have in the black market?
(fin)
Category:Shorts
Category:2020 Shorts
Category:Episodes written by Thatjess
Category:HFB
Category:Thatjess
Category:Box Productions
Category:Hoopla
Category:Transcripts
Category:2020 Transcripts