Journal of Noell

==Entry #1:==
: I am Noell Lightheart, a priest of Northshire Abbey, previously a cleric of the Clerics of Northshire. This is my journal, describing what seems to be post-traumatic stress after the Invasion of Draenor.
: As we arrive to this Light-forsaken, savage land, I am assigned to a task force, that was going to join later in the battle of Hellfire Peninsula.
: I have been in battles before; oh so apparently little compared to others, but this one is far more severe. The orcs, who were as brutal as it could possibly get, seem to be even more savage on their home planet. Their ferocity has no measure, their battle stamina is greater than we could've imagined. As for myself and the squad, I am assigned to support journeys in to the battlefield; we can hear them from afar. Their war cries, fierce as they are, are echoing in the valley that the peninsula is located in. The fearsome tone of the ferocious orcs is heart-piercing. Truly, for the first time in many years, I am scared. Not scared for my life, the life I had pledged to the Alliance and the Clerics of Northsire, but for my future I had imagined. The perfect life, getting married to Betrice and raising three beautiful children. But alas, I truly fear for the wreckage of my future. The orcs have demoralized me, and I begin to question the very existence of myself. So much, I even begin to question the reality of the Light.
: I look around at my marching brethren, and I too see fear in them, I see fear, fear crawling up their rattling bones, I see fear in their eyes, fear of the orcs, fear of death.
: We arrive at the top of the hill, my battalion and four more. The sight was traumatizing, the orcs are fighting, as vigorously as wild beasts, with the brave men of the Alliance. A squeaking voice seems to be yelling at me, but I am paralyzed. This battle is greater than any I have aided in before, it seems inhumane, wrong in every way. A guy from the battalion pokes me with his shield, and I snap out of my paralyzed state. The captain is screaming at his lungs, trying to moralize us, encourage us for the upcoming battle. I can see it, I can see his eyes, the eyes that belonged to the rest of us, the eyes that I have, the eye of walking to execution.
: He raises his shield, and screams at us to charge, charge to the seemingly never ending battle. And. We. Charge.
:
: No sleep, not more than an three hours at most. This dream, this terrifying memory keeps returning. Even now, that these gruesome events are done, and I returned to my beloved Betrice, I still feel the fear that, that which once crippled me at my finest hour.
== Entry #2:  ==
: The news reached the Abbey today. The betrayal of a trusted ally, the fall of an empire, the death of a king.
: The news spread troughout Stormwind, then it ran down Elwynn Forest like a cold breeze, a gusting wind bringing depression and grief to the citizens of Elwynn, then it arrived the Abbey where I stood and talked to Dom. Shocked by the terrifying news, Dom excused himself and walked off, yet I stood remaining, thinking about Lordaeron, the majestic land of the Alliance, a monument of pride and braveness. It had fallen, by the tip of a spearhead, a spearhead so ever-corrupt, fallen by the hand of a power-consumed individual, an individual we once laid our trust in. Intriguing someone once so committed to the nation, now have fallen into darkness.
: The Abbey have gone into a great depression, but I feel seemingly untouched, although I have friends and loved onces in Lordaeron. My memory of the past, my nightmare of the present, my dream of the future still lingered on. The hours counted short, but still I had slept more in the few couple of days than ever, but I still lack slumber. The nightmare had been the same over the time, since I participated in the Invasion of Draenor, but I had detected changes in it. I had begun to feel further away from the action, like I was an observer. All this, untill this very night. 
: The dream started out as normal, I have been assigned to my squad, and we are marching. As we reach the top of the hill, I look around. I am not in my squad, I am by myself, by highground. And then I spot him. He is a cleric, but yet more than that. He is in my squad, I recognize my very teammates. The man is tall, brown, short hair and the stub of a beard on his somewhat smooth skin. The man seems restless, like battle are too far away, but it is taking fold right infront of him. Something seems off about him, his very presence seems to disrupt my holy believe. I do not care about the battle this time, even though I still feel the fear taking hold of me, I care about this man, this very stranger, which is like a wolf among men. And then he turns his face to me.
: It can't be, the last thing I would ever imagine. It is me, but yet again, it isn't me. He looks like me, but I stand here, outside of the batallion, and he is with my squad. It felt like I am without and within, I am an outsider and an insider, I am a king and a peasant, I am holy and unholy, I am pure and corrupt, I am split, split into the many things that seem right and wrong.
: He smiles at me, but no friendly smile, a smile that indicates trouble, and at that, the aura around him, the one that is supposed to make the squad joyful and moralized, now makes them angry and ferocious. They begin to go out of line, and howling to the battle, howling at the roaring orcs. They have became alike the savage orcs. As I feared, man had become as beast. He have corrupted my comrades, my teammates, and now, they seems empowered by the deadly wrath. The captain screams for us to charge, but we do not charge, the soldiers begins to hack and slash on eachother, and the bowyers begins to shoots at our men in battle. The clerics start to crumble mentally, wrath filling their veins, as they jumps at the captain. Ally have become foe, and everything is chaos.
: In the middle of all this, stands he, the imposter, the traitor, the corrupt. He looks at me, and takes slow steps. By the first step, the peninsula in the background breaks, and 
: collapses down over the battle, consuming every of the fighters, making the very war seem like nothing. By the second step, the encampments around begins catching fire, 
: and they are quicly consumed by a vigorous flame. By the third step, the men that before had begun to exchange ally with foe, seemed to demateralize into a wild darkness that spread across the red sky, blackening everything around us. At the forth step, his own body ignites into a black flame, which quickly engulfs the night sky and a shadowy form stands tall, taller than a tower, talls as it was the very god of the universe. I try to roar at the top of my lungs, but I make no sound. The 'creature strikes at me. And I wake.
: I've tried to tell Betrice, but she just calmly pets my shoulder and tell me it's just a dream. But it feels nothing like a dream nor a nightmare, it feels real. I've begun to feel a new sort of fear, replacing the lingering horror from my past with a new one. At the first time in my life, I am afraid of the dreamworld, the place that I should be able to find rest in.
== Entry #3:==
: He has returned in my dreams. Just five days after he appeared first, he came again. The second time, things rolled out differently, but yet it was the same. I was outside of the battle, the fierce battle that took place in the forsaked land of Draenor. Things played out as usual, but the outcome was different. 
: This one, the battle runs out as usual, and the battle is won by the Alliance, but then a dark shroud of greed begins to spread, and it seems to origin from my doppelgänger again. My faction, the Alliance's soldiers and proud men, begins to scavenge from the fallen, armor, steel, loot, whatever they can get. As it came to there was no more left to take, they begin to take from eachother, slaughtering every man that had received a better loot than themselves, murdering friends for trinkets. Inhumane, savage and yet again, he stands in the middle. Proud as he can get, looking around the chaotic battlefield, bathing in the glory, the glory, the fallen glory of good men. He looks at me with his twisted eyes and points at me. Then I wake.
: Every night was a new one from that. One of them,  instead of fighting, it all broke out in a giant orgy, a sinful fest where there should be battle for victory and glory. Another one, the combatants started feasting on everything alive, and when there were no one left, the last one began to eat his own flesh till his heart stopped beating. So many of the nightmares were different, but one thing stood clear and that was the source of this. It was he, the black lamb of the herd, a wolf in disguise. 
: This have to end, I must find rest in my dreams, not fear. And oh, I feared.
: He stands there, tall and proud, hearing the captain cheering the soldiers on, making them prepared for battle. I do not know the outcome of this battle, but I will give my all to stop this beast, even if this is not reality. As they begin to run down the hill to clash steel against steel, I charge too. Not at the battle, but him. I get to him just before they reaches battle, and I tackle him, smacking him to the ground. I grab his collar, and pull him up. I scream at him, asking him who he is. He remains calms and gives a smirk, like this is nothing but a game. Then he talks. His voice, rumbles through the world, rumbles through my mind, rumbles through my very soul. It is everywhere, unable to hide from.
: "Don't you see it clearly, Noell? I am you; yet I am not. I do not fear the way you fear, I do not fight the way you fight, I do not worry about my future, I do not care about the present and I am not crippled by my past. I am the better you and the even worse you. You see me as a trespasser, but instead you should welcome me with open arms, because I am you. I'm the ideal you, I'm the god you desire to be, the man of your dreams. That is also the reason, 'the first time you interfered, was today. Why not the other times, where I have made your comrades slaughter eachother? Because you like to watch them burn up by their soul. They've accepted their fate, and so should you."
: In wrath, I strike out after him, but as my fist hits him, he dematerializes and merges with my hand. A thick, dark layer begins to cover my body, and I grab to my head, for an agonizing pain grips my mind, and I watch as the world crumbles apart. 
: "I am not real Noell, but I am the reality. It's time for you to live with it."
== Entry #4:==
: My life has ended. My deprive of sleep has affected my appearance. My skin has gone paler, bags under my eyes has emerged and my hair has taking a dull color. Betrice looks worried at me more and more. She tells me to get more sleep, but she doesn't have the empathy of my nightmares. She doesn't know the depth of my chaotic anxiety. The events rolled out ages ago, so why is still a problem? My solution - the solution which were about no sleep, seem to work. Only thing to have taken affect by this solution is my appearance and social life - and that is a thing I can live with, as long as the Invader keeps out of my head.
: My everyday have been changed forever, as I fear what is about to come, fear what is around the corner, fear what is under my bed. I haven't gone to sleep in three days, fearing to encounter him another time. This clone of myself. But he isn't me, there is no way. I am no monster, I am a follower of the Light, and in that I shall remain. Nothing will change that, not even an invader of dreams.
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Category:Literature
Category:War
Category:Priest