Chapter 5- Dress-Up

~Dress-up~
It took Cupid a while to wake up this time, but when he did, he was gazing up at a familiar ceiling, laying on a familiar king sized bed. 
Oh, f*ck.
“Good morning sleepy head, how’s my little three course meal doing?” A familiar voice sarcastically cooed.
OH, F*CK!
Cupid sat up as fast as his aching body could to see who he was talking to, even though by now he was fairly certain.
Lo and behold, he was right.
“Greaaaat, what is this an ex-fest?” Cupid winced, “Hi Kumo, how’s life?”
Kumo, who was in the middle of getting dressed, turned to look at him, making sure to position himself in such a way so Cupid could see as much of him as possible. He had a sleek spider-like figure, mainly a purple gradient, with sunset accents on his neck fluff and hair. He had four arms, two normal legs and then two extra spider ones in the back. 
Cupid remembered how much better four arms were… then hated himself for remembering that. 
“Sad, and lonely.” He pouted, “I haven’t been able to live my life without you. My therapist says that there’s ‘more fish in the sea’ but they’d all eat me up, I mean, have you seen them?”
Cupid nodded and did his best to avoid looking at the half-n@ked celebrity standing before him.
“Right,” That may or may not have been Cupid’s fault, “Any, uh, new movies you’re in?”
“Oh sure, but why would you care?” Kumo pouted, “It just pays the bills, and my manager. There’s no joy in it anymore.” he leaned against the closet door and moped.
Cupid looked down to avoid the insectoid spider fellow’s gaze and realized he had no shirt on. Because of course he didn’t, he was with Kumo. This somehow happened every time they were within even a mile of each other, and it had ruined Cupid’s life on multiple occasions.
“Mhm, yeah. So anyway, the weather is-”
“My God. Cut the small talk.” Kumo glared, "Why were you getting your @ss kicked earlier?”
“New target,” Cupid mumbled.
“Oh, well if it was that bear then I’d say you failed. I was in fact, also there for a target, a much cooler and more sophisticated one.”
“Hm, I just thought you were there to stalk me.”
“I don’t stalk on duty, Darling, even my lonely @ss wouldn’t stoop that low.” Kumo scoffed, rolling his eyes as he twirled a shirt around his finger.
“Could you please explain to me why my shirt is missing?”
“I f*cked your unconscious corpse.”
“You WHAT?!”
He WHAT?? WHAT HAPPENED TO UNCONSCIOUS PEOPLE DON’T WANT TEA!
“I’m kidding, dumb@ss. You had like 12 broken bones, I needed some way to bandage you up. Besides, if I planned on doing you I would have taken your pants off genius.”
Cupid lifted the silk sheets up to double check that his pants were still on, and thank god they were.
“Chillax, darling. I may be a wh*re but i’m not a wanted s*x offender… you were very tempting, though…” Cupid stared at him in disbelief, “I kid, mostly. Care to join me for some tea?” Kumo finished getting dressed and made his way over to the mirror. He picked up his make up bag and hair brush to tidy up his face.
Well, what else was his crippled @ss going to do today?
After a moment of deliberation, Cupid sighed, “Sure, what do you have?”
Oh, this is a terrible idea.
“Hmmm, Oolong, chamomile, and some sh*tty pumpkin spice stuff. My manager drank all of the English Breakfast so none of that unfortunately.”
“No worries, Oolong sounds great,” Cupid attempted to get out of the bed. When he stood, a rush of blood made him reach out for the end table, almost knocking some expensive looking cologne over.
“You poor thing, can you make it to the dining room or will it have to be brought to you? Ooh, I could carry you! Perfect.”
Before Cupid had time to protest, he was quickly scooped up into Kumo’s four arms, his heart brushing up against Kumo’s neck fluff. Cupid had forgotten how soft this guy was, it took a lot of self-control to avoid moving in any closer, especially with how cold his shirtless chest was. They walked into the very, very large kitchen and Cupid was set down at the table gently.
“Wait here, I’ll get the water boiled.”
“Uh huh, uh huh. Um… any chance you have my shirt somewhere?”
“Oh that old thing was far too ripped up for ya, babe. You can borrow one of mine if you’d like?” Kumo put the filled up kettle on the stove.
It’s better than having no shirt, so Cupid said “Sure” despite himself.
“Great, I’ll go pick one out when this is done.”
For someone trying to distance himself from this lad, he sure wasn’t doing a very good job.
“Oh by the way, you haven’t happened to see a katana around your place at all have you? I lost one in the set and now I can’t remember where I left it.”
Oh, so that's why a random Katana was sitting in Cupid’s apartment. No wonder Lady said it felt like sadness. That creature was h*lla creepy.
“Oh, yeah actually, ‘found it this morning. I can have someone drop it off-”
“Wonderful! I’ll come get it later, that is if I don’t have an interview, or a speaking panel, or a red carpet walk, or a… It’s fine, Aphid will handle it.” He trailed off, talking to himself.
Aphid, that name sounded familiar. Cupid couldn’t quite place it. She was probably his new manager, Kumo had a pretty bad habit of firing them before they could even finish their first week. Even so, there really wasn’t a reason for Cupid to know who she was, seeing as Kumo and him hadn't spoken in a while.
It was another one of those weird things where it was right on the tip of his tongue, but he had no clue where he knew her from.
The kettle started whistling and Kumo simultaneously poured the tea and washed some dishes for fun.
“There. Careful, it’s hot hun. I’lll go get you some wardrobe options, I went shopping yesterday so I’m feeling generous.”
Cupid quietly sipped on his tea, accompanied by some kind of generic pop music coming from another room. He was going to search up Aphid on his phone, but realized Kumo had failed to retrieve his belongings from the fight club staff. D*mn it. Tami and King were probably blowing up his phone right now, if Kelpie hadn’t already told them the “unfortunate” news of him “dying”.
Just another favor to ask from Kumo. excellent.
Hopefully one of his companions had managed to get his sh*t back.
Kumo came back with three outfits, naturally.
“Eeee ok ok so, first, I have this kinda retro look with this nice little purse to go with it,” He displayed a toned down 80’s themed fit, complete with leg warmers and a funky leather jacket that went over a shirt striped with sunset-orange, coral, and desaturated lime.
What the f*ck are the 80’s?
Cupid literally just needed a shirt. How did he get roped into this? This was very bad. Kumo’s constant enthusiasm mixed with Cupid’s inability to say no to him was not going to end well, was it?
Of course not, it never did.
Kumo squealed in excitement, “Next, we have a more cutesy vibe, I’d love this pastel pink crop top on you omg. It has an optional skirt but you’re not the type so I’m keeping it. Oh! It comes with these platform boots too.”
Okay, those boots were really cute. Cupid did need a bit of a height confidence boost after Alexei, anyway. Who gave a sh*t if he was already 6’6. A few extra inches really couldn’t hurt.
“And since you aren't taking the skirt, I bought these purpley cargo pants with a belt to match just in case I got tired of it, so you can have these too.”
Cupid almost felt himself get genuinely excited over this before he realized that playing dress-up with Kumo was probably the last thing he should be doing right now. Oh well, let the spider have his fun.
“And last but certainly not least, my personal favorite. A dress I wore to my second Global Award ceremony. My mom made me wear it even though I totally would’ve rocked a blazer. It’s fine, I still love the colors,” He held out a sparkly white, gold, and cyan tight-fitted dress with a short lace train off the back, “Don’t be fooled by how stiff it looks, it’s so comfy that I used to take out targets while wearing it. Then when Aphid came, she got mad at how much attention it drew, so I stopped.”
Damn, Kumo never took fashion orders, kudos to this “Aphid” for getting him to listen.
Cupid surveyed his three options, mentally noting whether or not he’d actually wear the one he chose.
“I think I’m gonna go with the pink one.” He pointed at the second outfit, realizing how much he needed those platform boots. He had to admit, Kumo had good taste.
“AWESOME!! I was hoping you’d say that, pink is so your palette,” Kumo jumped a little and folded it neatly on the table, “You can get dressed, I’ll be in my room if you need me boo.”
Cupid nodded his appreciation and waited till Kumo was out of sight to get changed. He was too hurt to walk home, and too embarrassed to get a taxi— anyone who followed the fight club online would surely have seen his big-time fail. So he either had to contact Kelpie or get a ride with Kumo, which he was not looking forward to at all.
He finished changing and set his battered up pants across the back of the chair. Kumo came back a few seconds later, looking him up and down.
“That looks good on you. You should stop by more often.” He raised an eyebrow and sat down across from Cupid.
“You know I can’t, or shouldn’t, one of the two. But thank you,” Cupid shifted in his seat.
“Why not?” Kumo prodded anyway.
“We broke up.” Cupid stopped short, not wanting to dive back into the whole mess.
“Again, why?” He stood up and leaned forward, “Everything was amazing, we were-”
“Maybe for you.” He sucked a breath in, regretting how this was entirely his fault in all the wrong ways. 
“Come on, what can I do without you?” Kumo reached an arm out and tried to touch him, Cupid shrank away, “Nobody else loves me…”
Cupid would’ve rolled his eyes if he had them.
“You’re literally half of the population’s celebrity crush. You need to get it together. I hate to say it, but your therapist is right. there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”
“Yes but I’m caught on your line. Just give us one more chance. I know at least some part of you misses it. Misses me.” 
Did he? Cupid couldn’t tell if what he was feeling was pity, or maybe something inside him did miss Kumo, or maybe guilt. But none of the feelings were good, that’s for sure.
“This is exactly the problem, you can’t let things go. ‘Caught on your line’ oh, Excuse me, Mr. Metaphors,” Cupid jabbed a finger at his face, “Your…obsession with me is unhealthy and it needs to stop.”
“I can’t, and I don’t know why. You’re just so infatuating, and gorgeous, and the only one for me, forever and ever and-” Kumo moved in to embrace him, hunger in his eyes, catching Cupid off guard. He hit Kumo with the teacup, shattering the intricate, beautiful china across Kumo’s sad, beautiful face.
They both stopped in their tracks. Cupid, helplessly holding the handle of a once glittering cup. Kumo, holding his hands outstretched, blood starting to well where shards of glass were lodged through his face. His desperation turned to anger. He didn’t speak, just turned and walked out.
…
A few minutes later, Cupid heard a phone ring. An indistinct conversation, mostly muffled yelling. He still sat there holding the broken handle, so he stood up. The least he could do was clean up after the mess he’d made. Since, well, he couldn’t clean the last one.
A door opened, Cupid looked up to see Kumo throwing his things on the floor with haste.
“My assistant is waiting outside to take you home,” he spoke curtly, void of emotion. No look, no pause. He quickly exited before Cupid had the chance to apologize.
Cupid finished cleaning and grabbed his belongings off the polished marble floor. 
He ventured in the general direction of the front door, coming across familiar high vaulting ceilings, silver and gold chandeliers, and the faint sense that you’re outside. It was almost as fancy as Heidi’s building, but it felt more open. And significantly less humid. The lobby had a large reflective sculpture, kind of in the shape of a kidney bean, and a skylight right above it. It did an excellent job of refracting the sunlight, it brightened up the whole room, like a gate to the clouds.
The grand front doors swung open automatically as he approached. Outside, a black sports car with pink and purple decals was waiting for him. He hopped in the passenger seat and looked at the driver.
He jumped up, startled. He knew this was Aphid somehow.
“WHOA! Jeez, you good?” She noticed his mini heart attacks.
He brushed himself off.
“Yes, ahem. Sorry, uh, do I know you?”
Cupid definitely didn't, but something inside of him sure did. Funny. He was sure he’d never seen her before.
“...No? I don’t think so?” She scratched her head. She was an insectoid, like Kumo, minus the two extra legs, mainly a very pale green instead of his dark purples, and her limbs faded into a cyan. Pink, blue, and yellow colored hair with white streaks was held out of her face by some announcer’s headphones, complete with a mic. They probably made it easier to contact Kumo about business and stuff. She gripped the steering wheel while her extra arms scrolled through radio stations, green and red eyes still on Cupid.
“My bad, ‘must’ve thought you were someone else. Do you need my address or…?”
“No, Boss sent it to me. I’ll get you home in a jiffy,” Aphid revved the engine and winked, “Get your seatbelt on, or don’t, but that’s your own liability!” She sped off, running over the curb on her way out of the driveway. The only thing on Cupid’s mind was how the f*ck this woman managed to get a driver’s license.
The first couple minutes were spent hanging on for dear life, they passed a couple cars that honked, this green one looked like they wanted to fight, and several speed limits were broken. 
She didn’t even slow down when they came to a chasm district, one of the repurposed canyons that formed when the divine war broke out. Of course, there were tons of ‘divine wars’, but King Oleander was a bit pissed at the time.
That was right around when the Queen disappeared, so go figure.
Nevertheless, they made it back to Cupid’s apartment in record time, so he wasn’t exactly allowed to complain.
“Alrighty, here we are,” She held her hand out for a tip.
“Uh-”
“Oh I'm just kidding. I get paid just fine, I’m the only reason Kumo has his sh*t together.” She chuckled.
“Yeah, thanks for that by the way, I’m pretty sure you’re also the reason he no longer shows up drunk on my doorstep late at night.”
Her tone then turned serious. “What happened? He seemed very very disgruntled on the phone. Or like he’d just been crying.”
Cupid sucked a breath in, “I… don’t really feel comfortable talking about it right now.”
“Alright, but if I were you, I'd steer clear of our- his, house for the foreseeable future.” She frowned a bit. 
“That’s the plan,” Cupid took a deep breath, “Oh, while you’re here. Would you mind waiting for a second? I need to grab something from inside.”
“Sure fam. I have all night.” she leaned back in the driver’s seat.
Cupid unlocked the door and quickly ran to his bedroom, grabbing the Katana that Lady had found that morning. He then went back outside, holding it out to Aphid.
“Kumo left this a while ago, he talked about coming to pick it up, but it's best if we avoid seeing each other.”
“Ooh knife,” She grabbed it and put it in the back seat, buckling it in, “Sure thing, thank you! Catch ya on the flippity flip!” She cranked the gas pedal and zoomed outta there like no car has ever zoomed before.
“You too!” He yelled after the car.
Frankly, Cupid was still convinced that he really should have known her.
So why didn’t he know her?
And why was he so upset that he wasn’t able to recognize why?