Don't Make Me Laugh!/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Don't Make Me Laugh!".
== ==
(The book opens and Poppy explains about the TrollsTopia Laugh-Out Bout.)
Poppy: It’s every Troll to test their mettle in the ring to send their opponent tumbling to the mat… (A pink Troll lands on a whoopie cushion.) … with uncontrollable laughter. (A blue Troll laughs and rolls on the ground.) It’s the Great TrollsTopia Laugh-Out Bout. Two Trolls enter, one Troll laughs. And then everyone gets ice cream. (The Trolls get ice cream cones. We go to Pop Village where the crowd is cheering. Poppy is on a big mushroom.) So, each Tribe nominates one champion to compete. First Troll to knock the other Troll out with a laugh wins the match. And at the end of all matches, last Troll standing takes home the coveted Golden Chatter Teeth! (Branch is seen holding the Golden Chatter Teeth as it vibrates.) May the funniest Troll win! (The crowd cheers once more.)
Cooper: Yeah! Yeah! Whooooo! (As the crowd leaves, Lownote and two Funk Trolls come over to him.)
Lownote: Uh, Cooper… We have something we’d like to discuss with you.
Cooper: Oh. Is it about the Sparkle Melons stuck on my feet? (We show Sparkle Melons stuck on his feet and he laughs.) So stylish.
Lownote: What? Now we have two things we want to discuss with you.
Cooper: Hm…. (He runs to Poppy’s pod.) Poppy! Poppy! (As he jumps inside, he poops several cupcakes. Poppy is seen reading a book.) Guess what?! The Funk Tribe has asked me, Cooper, to represent them in the Laugh-Out Bout!
Poppy: (Closing her book) Wow, Cooper! What an honor!
Cooper: I know! This is the biggest responsibility the Tribe has given me since I found out I was born a Funk Troll. I just want to make them so proud.
Poppy: Oh, Cooper, you definitely will. You’re the funniest Troll I know!
Cooper: True… But there’s just one small problem. (laughs)
Poppy: Oh, is it that you laugh at everything?
Cooper: (laughs) I laugh at everything! Not exactly the best personality quirk to whilst participating in a “don’t laugh” competition. (laughs) I am doomed!
Poppy: No! We can fix that. Whenever I feel the giggles comin’ before a big speech, I just take a moment and get ‘em all out. Like so. (She clears her throat and laughs for a minute then she sighs and stops.)
Cooper: Oh! I see. So like… (He laughs for a long time. Over the next several hours, Poppy sits on her stool, throws a blue ball at another and does a puzzle. As the sun is setting, Branch is with her.)
Branch: And that’s when it hit me. All this time, the bunker has kinda been a metaphor, for my heart.
Poppy: Yes. Oh, yes, Branch. That’s huge. (Cooper continues to laugh while Poppy eats a cupcake. Later that night, she is struggling to sleep because Cooper is laughing loudly. She is wrapped in a dark purple blanket and she covers her ears with her pillow. The next morning, she is sleeping with her head hanging off her bed. Cooper finally stops laughing.) So… you… you got it out?
Cooper: Not even close! (He goes back to laughing while Poppy lies down and groans. After that, she is drinking a cup of tea on her chair.) It’s not use, Poppy. My laughter is like a river. It never stops flowing. And sometimes there’s fish in it. (He laughs and a fish lands in Poppy’s cup.) Oh! (sighs) I guess I gotta tell Lownote to pick another Funk Troll.
Poppy: (Putting her cup down) No, Cooper. We can figure this out. There’s gotta be some way to get you ready for the bout.
Laguna: Did someone say they need a humor expert?
Poppy and Cooper: No, we didn’t.
Laguna: Hm. Unfortunate. That would have been far more dramatic if you had.
Poppy: Well, we’ll take whatever help you can offer, Laguna, but… you are a humor expert?
Laguna: Indeed. Which is ironic, given that most Trolls find me quite dry, which is also ironic given that I live underwater.
Poppy and Cooper: Oh… (Soon, there are many books in Poppy’s pod.)
Laguna: Now, as with all things, the key to comedy is research.
Poppy and Cooper: Research?
Laguna: Oh, yes. For laughter is simply an involuntary reaction to that which is delightfully unexpected, like a funny face, a silly sound, or the most powerful humor of all... a delicious pun.
Cooper: (Whispering to Poppy) I think she likes puns.
Laguna: Ergo, the key to not laughing at the bout is to learn each other’s comedy style in advance, thereby eliminating the element of surprise.
Cooper: Oh, I am very much on board for this exercise. Provided it involves some kind of slide projector? (He laughs as Laguna gets a slide projector ready.) Oh, ho, ho! We’re cooking now! (Laguna turns on the slide projector.)
Laguna: First up, we have the Pop Tribe Laugh-Out champion, Guy Diamond. (Later at the Laugh-Out Bout, Cooper is facing against Guy Diamond first.) Guy’s style is to knock knock you out with a knock knock joke.
Guy Diamond: Hey, Cooper. Knock knock.
Cooper: Who’s there?
Guy Diamond: Boo.
Cooper Boo who? (Tiny Diamond appears from his father’s hair.)
Tiny Diamond: (Holding a tissue box) Don’t cry, Daddy’s friend Cooper! It’s just a joke! (Cooper laughs and falls to the ground.)
Branch: 1, 2... (Cooper gets up.)
Laguna: So if you want to defeat him, you have to beat him to the punch line.
Tiny Diamond: Oh, back for more? OK. Well then, knock kno-
Cooper: Interrupting cow! (Guy and Tiny Diamond gasp.)
Guy Diamond: How did you know we were going to say-
Cooper: MOO! (Guy and Tiny Diamond hit against the strings and fall to the ground laughing.)
Branch: 1, 2, 3! That’s an L.O.L.K.O! (The audience cheers and Fuzzbert rings the bell. Branch holds Cooper’s hand up. Poppy and Laguna come up to the ring.)
Laguna: Woo-hoo! Yay! Cooper, you used the research flawlessly! We were very impressed.
Poppy: Yeah, and we weren’t the only ones. (The audience cheers once more.)
Lownote: Come on, Funk Tribe! Let’s give it up for our champion, Cooper! (As Cooper faces Holly, Demo, and Dante, he sings The Funny, Funky, Fabulous Champion.)
(Lownote)
He’s got your number on speed dial
First you’ll be grinnin’
Then you gotta crack a smile, Whoo!
Before you know it
You’re gonna lose control
You’re gonna blow it
Laughing rollin’ on the floor
‘Cause Cooper spins super
Slapstick side splitting humor
He’s silly, straight killing us
With ridiculous bloopers
He’s our funny, funky, fabulous
First place winner champion
He’s got jokes so fresh
He will impress
This baby was born to win
Try not to laugh, but you won’t last
He’s hilarious till the end
He’s our funny, funky, fabulous
First place winner champion
And he was born to win (He wins the matches.)
Branch: (Through the microphone) Get ready, TrollsTopia! ‘Cause it’s time for the final bout!
Poppy: Only one match to win it all, Cooper. You’ve joked masterfully!
Lownote: Indeed he has! (laughs) I just knew you were the right Funk Troll for this, Cooper.
Cooper: (gasps) Thank you, Lownote! That means the world to me.
Branch: In this corner, put your hands together for Cooper! (The audience cheers for Cooper.)
Cooper: (Getting up from a stool) Well, I’m on, Lownote. But don’t worry. I can take on any challenger as long as I’ve got coach Laguna Tidepool by my side.
Branch: And on the opposite corner, Laguna Tidepool! (The audience cheers for Laguna. Three Techno Trolls is by the ring. Poppy and Cooper gasp.)
Laguna: Well, that’s my cue.
Poppy and Cooper: Laguna?!
Laguna: Yes.
Cooper: My final challenger is you?!
Laguna: Of course. Was that not clear?
Poppy and Cooper: No!
Laguna: Oh, well. Good luck. (Cooper hyperventilates and his head goes through the floor.)
Poppy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Cooper, it’s OK!
Cooper: No, it’s not, Poppy! If she knew how to beat all those other Trolls, she knows how to beat me, too! I never should have let the Funk Trolls pick me! (He puts his head through the floor again.)
Poppy: Come on, Cooper, hang in there. Remember what Laguna taught about research. If we think, I’m sure we’ve learned something about her that you could use to your advantage. (She looks at Laguna reading a book about jokes.) I can’t think of anything! Can you?!
Cooper: NO! (He and Poppy put their heads through the floor and scream. Cooper then gets ready to face Laguna.)
Laguna: Apologies, Cooper, but I’m afraid making me laugh will be quite impossible. I know ever silly gag you’ll try, even before you do.
Cooper: Uh… What if I-
Laguna: Put a flute out of your nose? (She pulls a flute out of her nose and plays it. Cooper laughs and falls to the ground)
Cooper: No! Or maybe I could-
Laguna: Ride a unicycle while juggling rubber duckies? (She gets on a unicycle and juggles rubber duckies while blowing a raspberry. Cooper gets tangled up in the ring’s ropes and laughs.)
Cooper: Huh?
Laguna: (distorted) And now, the final blow…
Poppy: (distorted) Joke back, Cooper! Jock back! (Her voice echoes in Cooper’s mind.) Remember what Laguna taught you about research. I’m sure we’ve learned something about her that you could use to advance. (Cooper gasps and remembers Laguna’s advice.)
Past Laguna: Or the most powerful form of humor of all… a delicious pun.
Cooper: Oh!
Laguna: Do not despair that the Techno Tribe will be taking home the trophy, Cooper. You are a very funny Troll.
Cooper: Yeah? Well, it takes one… to tech-know one. (Laguna gasps and falls to the ground laughing.)
Poppy: YEEEEAAAH! WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!
Laguna: You… you used a delicious pun against me! (She laughs and Cooper’s untangles himself from the ropes.)
Cooper: Gill-ty as charged. Gill-ty… as in gills… ‘cause you’ve got gills! (Laguna laughs harder.)
Laguna: No! I can’t resist the pure comedic perfection…
Cooper: Oh, I know. You didn’t expect my word play to be so pun-ishing.
Laguna: (gasps) It seems as though the student has become the master. (She jumps into the air and falls back down on the ground, laughing super hard.)
Branch: 1, 2, 3! LOL! (The audience cheers as he holds up Cooper’s hand.) WE HAVE A NEW LAUGH-OUT BOUT CHAMPION! (Poppy appears with her arms in the air.)
Poppy: Woo-hoo! Yeah! (Lownote and a yellow male Funk Troll hug Cooper.)
Lownote: Cooper! You did us proud, baby! You did us proud! (He and the yellow male Funk Troll pick up Cooper.)
All: Cooper! Cooper! Cooper! (Cooper gasps as he is given the trophy.)
Category:TT Season 4 episode transcripts
Category:Trolls: TrollsTopia transcripts
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