Spider-Man: No Way Home Alternate HISHE

Peter: "Can you do a spell to make it so everyone forgets who I am."
Dr. Strange: "This'll be very dangerous, and could cause unforeseen damage to the fabric of reality."
Smart Scientist: "Here's a bright idea, instead of using magic - a very unstable force, especially since you've never done this kind of thing before - why don't you just get Talos to shapeshift himself as Peter Parker and make a public appearance. Meanwhile, the real Peter, as Spider-Man, holds a press conference where you release the unedited footage of Mysterio's death."
Dr.strange: Angry sigh fine
Or... 
Peter: Oh my gosh, everyone's going to forget who I am! Including MJ and Aunt May! Can you change the spell? 
Dr. S: I'm already doing it. And, can't you just tell them after I make them forget? Shut up so I can concentrate and not have this blow up in our faces. 
P: Oh! Right right right. sorry. 
... 
P: Wait, will this also clear that footage off the internet? 
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Here, use this inator! 
Peter and Dr. S: Who the heck are you, and what's with the platypus? PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!?!?
"Here's a bright idea: why don't you just let Wong put them all in the mirror dimension instead of letting your interdimensional battle rampage all over the city risking the lives of countless New Yorkers just because you wanted to try out your newfound teamwork with two other versions of yourself?"
The two other versions of himself, of course, are Spider-Ham and Japanese Spider-Man.
Here's a bright idea. Do more Marvel movies from the 2000's era to have a HISHE like:
- The Incredible Hulk (2008) HISHE.
- X-Men Trilogy (2000-2006) HISHE.
Here's a bright idea: Let's insert the "here's a bright idea" guy into even more film universes.
Dr Strange: The whole world is about to forget Peter Parker is Spiderman
Scientist: Here's a bright idea, why don't you make sure you do this highly dangerous spell in a room without any possible distractions
"This is a lot to take in!!"
But at least now you won't try to kill me in the third movie... right? Harry? Why do you look so angry?
Here's a bright idea: how about we don't tell a bunch of teenagers, who can then go home and tell their friends, parents, random cops, OHSA enforcement agents, etc , that we've temporarily misplaced a genetically engineered spider that's probably not going to cause any problems before we can recapture it anyway? Or is encouraging a panic that probably isn't going to help find the escapee meant to be somehow constructive?
Needed an outro by Batman, "Want to know MY secret identity?" <raises eyebrows suggestively>
Spiderman unmasks Goblin.
Spiderman and MJ:" Mr Osborn!" 
Norman:" And I would have gotten away with it to if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
Norman Osborn: "You're so fired." 
Butler: "You can't fired me, you're dead." 
later 
Norman Osborn: "Harry, can you fired my Butler please? He didn't tell you how I really died." 
Harry Osborn: "I'm on it Dad."
In the alternate universe, the Good Sense Scientist also prevented all other supervillains to appear by simply following the safety protocols and spreading the importance of Work Safety.
Not only Peter saved Harry from dying in the original timeline In Spider-Man 3. Harry Osborn is now heir to Osborn estate, so after sometime of grieving, Harry can equipped Peter with cool technology for his spider suit.
The scene about Peter getting money was lame, if he considers himself good guy, he could have let police catch the thief, then who knows the moneymaker would already give some money as reward to Peter.
Norman: "Peter dont tell Harry"
Peter: "Oh I'm gonna!"
Yes! Finally! Thank you! Now the saga is complete...untill the next movie!
I always thought HISHE episodes were true accounts from the multi-verse. Maybe one of these will show up in No Way Home?
Aunt may : oh you should say prayers [brutaly killing goblin] hahhahahaah
Alternate HISHE:
OsCorp Board of Directors: We are forcing you out
Norman: Okay.
Board: Really?
Norman: Yeah. I invented a glider thing that is carbon neutral. I'm going to sell it for billions.
Board: ...huh, why did we not go along with that idea anyway? I mean a glider that is clean burning? That is a money making invention!
Green Goblin: “We are who we choose to be. So cho-“
MJ gets free of Green Goblin and webs him up
“WHAT?”
MJ: “Oh yea, I should’ve mentioned, I got bit by an enhanced spider and now I’ve got super powers”
Hostage Kids: “So do we!”
kids and MJ swing from webs punching and kicking Goblin
Green Goblin: “Ow! Ow! Ow!”
meanwhile back in the lab
Bright Idea Guy: “The Spider was still alive and you STILL couldn’t find it?”
As far as the line "thats a cut outfit, did your husband give it to you", it is a bit insensitive, however, in the context of the battle, it was justified in my opinion.
REPLY
Hide 2 replies
neonkscksc
9 hours ago
Why would anyone have a problem with that joke?
REPLY
Raising Yoda
9 hours ago
@neonkscksc  Because it's making fun of LGBTQ people. Maybe he does like cute outfits that was gifted from his husband? Who are we to judge?
Uncle Ben :but Peter what about power and responsibility 
Peter: just drive uncle Ben !
Spider man - unmasks 
Osborn Osborn - “and I would have gotten away with it weren’t for you meddling kids”
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA this funny
Hurry, Green Goblin. CALL AN AMBULANCE... But not for me!
"Your too late Spiderman! Weed has been Legalized!! Nyahahahahaha!!"
"Not if I have anything to say about it Gobby! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
“Hey Peter how was the-“
“NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! FLOOR IT UNCLE BEN!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
----
*Spider-Man: Doctor Strange, your multi-dimensional portal is out of control. We gotta shut it down. 
*Doctor Strange: I'm trying. But, Spider-Man, something's coming through on the other side.
*Rami Spider-Man: Pizza time.
*Spider-Man: What?
*Rami Spider-Man: oh, sorry. That's just kind of something I say. I'm Spider-Man from Earth-2002.
*Spider-Man: A parallel universe? That's awesome. Wait, why do you sound like you're 35 Years Old? 
*Rami Spider-Man: In my universe, everyone sounds 35 years old. But, I assure you I'm a cool 22. Everyone in my universe also speaks in a incredibly wooden and expressionless tone.
*Spider-Man: Wow. Even you?
*Rami Spider-Man: A lot more than you'd probably remember.
*Spider-Man: Awesome.
*Rami Spider-Man: Yup.
*Spider-Man: So, what do you want to talk about?
*Rami Spider-Man: Uh, my webs come out of my skin.
*Spider-Man: That's cool.
*Rami Spider-Man: I guess.
*Spider-Man: Mine come out of this little machine that I built. It's on my wrist.
*Rami Spider-Man: Oh, nice.
*Spider-Man: Yep.
*Doctor Strange: Spider-Men, something else is coming through. 
*Webb Spider-Man: Yo, yo. What's poppin? I'm Spider-Man from Earth-2012. 
*Spider-Man: Wow. You sound studio mandated.
*Webb Spider-Man: When I'm not listening to home by Philip Philips. On my Sony Experia Z2. I'm fighting my evil best friend, Harry Osborn.
*Rami Spider-Man: Oh, Harry Osborn's the worst. 
*Spider-Man: I don't even think my universe has a Harry Osborn. 
*Rami Spider-Man: You sure?
*Spider-Man: Yeah, they're probably saving them for like a fourth one.
*Webb Spider-Man: Does this universe have a Philip Philips or just like a phone charger the battery on this thing is like really, really bad.
*Doctor Strange: Spider-Men, something's happening. 
*Spider-Man (Earth-PS4): Hey, there. I'm Spider-Man from Earth-PS4. 
*Spider-Man: Alright.
*Spider-Man (Earth-PS4): I love racking up sweet combos and really making you feel like Spider-Man.
*Rami Spider-Man: You're Spider-Man? But, I thought he was Spider-Man?
*Webb Spider-Man: No, you're Spider-Man. 
*Rami Spider-Man: See, what we're doing.
*Webb Spider-Man: We're pointing.
*SPider-Man: Yes, I see. It's, it's like the meme. It's very funny.
*Spider-Man (Earth-PS4): I'm also the only Spider-Man with the unique ability to switch any costume. I want at a moment's notice. Watch this. 
*All: Ooh.
*Spider-Man: That's cool. But, uh, could we get back to my story now?
*Miles Morales Spider-Man: Sup, you guys. I'm Spider-Man from Earth-2019.
*Spider-Man: Dude, I think it's getting kind of crowded in here. I know--
*Rami Spider-Man: That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?
*All: Whoa! 
*Spider-Man: What?
*Miles Morales/Spider-Man: What the hell did you just say to me?
*Rami Spider-Man: Oh, come on. That usually gets a big laugh. 
*Miles Morales/Spider-Man: Yo, why does this guys sound 40?
*Spider-Man (Earth-PS4): Hey, fellas, how about we settle this with a good old-fashioned game of Jak and Daxter acing on the PS Vita. 
*Spider-Man: Listen, guys, I love the hereo here. But, like I just kind of had my own thing going on. So--
*Doctor Strange: Peter!
*All: Yeah?
*Doctor Strange: Something's happening. 
*Spider-Man 2099: Hey, everybody, I'm the Spider-Man from Earth-Batman Beyond.
*Zombie Spider-Man: Oh, hey, guys. It's me, the Zombie Spider-Man of Earth-D.
*Cowboy Spider-Man: Ye howdy. I'm Cowboy Spider-Man. 
*Spyder-Knight: Tis I, Spider-Knight!
*Robot Spider-Man: My Spider Sensors are tingling.
*1930 Spider-Man: In other news, I'm 1930 News Spider-Man.
*All: (Talking at Once)
*Spider-Monkey: (Noises)
*Run Over By a Bus Spider-Man: I'm Run Over By a Bus Spider-Man. Oh, I've been run over by a fucking bus by fuck.
*Deadpool: Hey, does anybody have any chimichangas?
*Spider-Man: Hey. Look, it's pretty cool that you guys are all here.
*Zombie Spider-Man: People wanted this to happen.
*Spider-Man: But beyond us all just pointing at each other and making jokes for redditters.
*Deadpool: Reddit is an epic win. 
*Spider-Man: What's the purpose for all this? What are we supposed to do?
*Rami Spider-Man: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
*(At Joe's Pizza)
*Cowboy Spider-Man: When can I get some six?
*Spider-Man: Hmm. Not a bad idea.
*Rami Spider-Man: What can I say? It's--
*Kevin Fiege: Pizza time. Cut to black. Roll credits. A billion dollars I guarantee. (Pants) 
*Guy: Kevin, welcome to Sony. 
Category:Alternate Endings