SCP-029-J

SCP-029-J, also known as Jesus Christ, is a joke character in the SCP Foundation Wiki. He is Jesus Christ who in his quest to get closer to humanity and clear his image began working as an Uber driver. The car he uses to drive people around is comprised of various known angels who are often at odds with SCP-029-J, causing his clients to feel uncomfortable and left unsatisfied with the service.
==Biography==
Seeing that his reputation was lowering as time went on, Jesus Christ decided to try and reach to people more directly. He planned to become a Uber driver in order to drive people around while conversing with them, but because his Fathers didn't allow him to use his throne-chariot as a car, Jesus enlisted the help of the angels Michael, Raziel, Gabriel and 12 Cherubim to become one car. Raziel became the wheels, Michael became the chassis, Gabriel became the radio and the Cherubim became animals which pulled the car, essentially acting as the engine. Together, they began working in Newark, New Jersey and thanks to their omnipresence Jesus was able to transport multiple clients at the same time.
The SCP Foundation soon took notice of this and began monitoring his every movement in order for him not to breach the Veil of Normalcy. Since SCP-029-J was self-contained within Newark and they were seemingly unable to properly contain him, the Foundation allowed him to continue his activity while administering amnestics to people who found out about SCP-029-J's true nature. On December 21st of 2016, SCP-029-J answered to civilian Valerie McIntyre's request to go from Harrison, New Jersey to the Prudential Center in downtown Newark while being monitored by Foundation Agents Ricciardi and Stokes. However, while driving her to the destination, the angels accidentally revealed themselves to McIntyre, causing SCP-029-J to argue with them. McIntyre was freaked out by this and immediately left before rating her ride 1 star.
After 12 failed attempts at driving his clients to their destinations, the Foundation agents were able to discern SCP-029-J's driver identity and in order to garner more information about him requested transportation from him, with SCP-029-J answering the requests and driving all of them at the same time. When Agent James Mathews, an expert in Abrahamic religions, got on SCP-029-J's car later and his angels knew exactly with who they were dealing with and revealed to the agent that they knew about him and the Foundation and that Mathews was cheating his wife. The agent was left shocked and asked why they were driving people around. SCP-029-J explained that he wanted to clear his image and found the job of an Uber driver to be most fitting way to achieve this, while the angels explained that they each had made a deal with him in exchange for becoming a car. Following this, Agent Matthews resigned from his post of studying SCP-029-J.
==Appearance==
SCP-029-J appears as an adult male of apparent Middle Eastern descent.
==Powers and Abilities==
Being Jesus Christ, the son of God, he is presumably omnipotent, apparently only second to his father while being above all of the angels. SCP-029-J was shown to be omnipresent as he and his angels were able to serve multiple clients in different locations at the same time, and omniscient as he knew that the Foundation was after him and even knew that one of their agents was having an affair. Apart from that it is unknown what else he could although he also appeared to have some driving skills.
==Personality==
SCP-029-J was shown to be quite of an extravagant person. He became a Uber driver in order to reach to people directly and clean his public image. While taking his clients to their destinations, he would try to converse with them, often even making some jokes. However, from time to time he would come at odds with his angels who didn't really like acting as a car and when their true nature was discovered they would almost immediately drop the facade and argue with each other. This caused several of their clients to get shocked and agitated leading to them fleeing from SCP-029-J's car, leaving him to lighten the mood a bit with some other unfunny jokes.
==Gallery==
===Videos===
Joke SCP Readings- SCP 029 J Jesus take the wheel! - euclid - religious scp
==Trivia==
*SCP-029-J's title and nature is a reference to the song .
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