Ruffling (audio story)

was the second story of the audio anthology Charlotte Pollard: Series Two. It was written by Nicholas Briggs and featured India Fisher as Charlotte Pollard, James Joyce as Robert Buchan and Dan Starkey as Bertram.
== Publisher's summary ==
Hiding in a bank, on the run, trapped underground.
== Plot ==
Confronted by two Identical Men, the Rogue Viyran warns Charley and Robert not to touch them as to do so would kill them. Charley tells Robert to get back.
Naomi parks her car on Villiers Street and receives a voicemail from Madeline telling her off for going off the grid. Rab notices a black van at Embankment and Naomi gives chase.
The Minister is on the phone with the unhappy Prime Minister and suggests that the Identical Men be covered up by letting everybody believe that Embankment is closed due to a terrorist attack. Woking gets CCTV of the outside of Department 001 and sees Charley and Robert carrying the Rogue Viyran out.
Charley and Robert struggle to carry the Rogue Viyran away from the building and are told by him that, although he made the Identical Men disappear by "ruffling" on them, he does not believe that the Identical Men can be killed. They spot the CCTV cameras and try to hurry away to avoid being recaptured by the authorities, alarmed further when the door they attempt to get through is locked. The Rogue Viyran begins "ruffling" the door.
Naomi and Rab have lost the van. Rab detects a computer on a secure network and hacks into it, discovering that they have somehow got inside a secure cordon and that the authorities plan to claim that a bomb has been detonated at Embankment. Police appear and demand that the two raise their hands and exit the car.
Charley and Robert are nearby, having hidden themselves inside a building thanks to the Rogue Viyran, and can hear Naomi and Rab's arrest. Realising that the Rogue Viyran does not have a name, Charley decides to call him "Bertram" and they notice that something is happening to his face.
With Department 001 compromised, the Minister takes the distrustful Woking to a Second World War troop transit centre in the Underground.
On Breakfast News, Lysette Allegro speaks to Donald Predko, who informs the public that fifteen patients who were abandoned by their nurses at Garfield Hospital Trust whilst awaiting serious medical procedures had all died.
Charley and Robert hide in a broom cupboard with Bertram, who seems to be transforming into a human. They put him in overalls in order to cover up his modesty.
The Minister tells Woking that Department 001 has been fumigated and no sign of the Identical Men has been found. She receives a phone call alerting her that a man and a woman have been located in the cordon area and tells Woking that his mystery couple have been found, assuming that they are Charley and Robert. In fact, it is Rab and Naomi, the latter of whom is recognised from Night News by the Minister.
Bertram awakes, no longer looking like a "sticky, white corpse" but having eyes that are stuck shut. He accepts "Bertram" as his name, saying that he never had one.
The Minister and Woking question Naomi and Rab about how they recognise the name "Charlotte Pollard", information that they are loath to give up.
Bertram tells Charley and Robert that he believes that they are in a bank and that the Prolixity had brought them to 21st century London due to the presence of a virus, the Prolixity having latched onto Bertram's Viyran purpose when he enveloped Charley and Robert's pod. His reason for thinking this is that he felt something very much like a virus when he used his powers on the Identical Men. A woman enters the cupboard looking for a mop and Charley pretends that they have reason to be in the bank.
Woking and the Minister look through a hard copy of the data on Rab's laptop and begin to believe that all the disparate goings-on in London might be connected. However, the Minister will not tell the Prime Minister until they have recommendations for action. They head back to Embankment, intending to send a taskforce to conduct a full search for the Identical Men, and wonder if Charley really was born in 1912.
Charley, Robert and Bertram, whose voice has become entirely human, walk the streets of London trying to look normal and find themselves at Trafalgar Square where Bertram falls to the floor. Robert says that he thinks he saw ruffling at a bus shelter but Charley does not believe him. However, she then sees the statue of Horatio Nelson atop Nelson's Column move.
Woking's men search the tube for the Identical Men and Woking and the Minister finally get Wi-Fi. Believing that Rab is a genius, Woking tells the Minister to bring Rab and Naomi to him and have them sign the Official Secrets Act before assisting them. He hazards a guess that Rab was involved in every major hacking scandal in the past ten years.
Charley and Robert are approached by a police officer who asks them about Bertram's condition and for their names and addresses whilst Bertram is spoken to by his colleague.
Naomi and Rab join Woking, having signed the Official Secrets Act, and Rab finds that Charley, Robert and Bertram have been taken to Westminster Police Station. Woking makes a phone call, issuing a 7-40-L to the police station to have the trio brought to him. Rab also says that some people on Twitter and Facebook are saying that they saw Nelson's statue move and that seven children were killed in Kingston upon Thames after a lollipop man failed in his duty, telling the police afterwards that he "lost concentration".
The Identical Man in the Underground detects the nearby soldiers and selects defensive protocols. The soldiers experience interference with their communications and lose contact with Woking. The Minister enters the room with Charley, Robert and Bertram, who are confused about how they have been recognised and protest when Woking isolates Bertram due to his alien origins.
The Identical Man activates a modification pulse.
Charley and Robert are shoved into a room with Naomi and demand to know what is going on and how they are known to them.
The Minister receives a phone call from Captain Warwick who claims to have returned from Embankment after losing contact with Woking. The Minister goes to fetch Woking for him.
Naomi tells Charley and Robert about the strange phenomena and is doubtful of their claims to be time travellers who worked with aliens. Whilst Charley is distressed, Robert is beginning to enjoy himself, which calms Charley down. They agree to work together, Charley believing that they need Bertram.
Bertram is restrained and being interrogated by Woking, who deems him to be an unknown threat. He tells him that the real threat are the two creatures that he has encountered and that they are invincible, of limitless power and that they have been here for some time. Woking prepares to use an MRI on him when he is called by the Minister, who informs him of Captain Warwick's presence. Woking asks the Minister to put him in a briefing room to wait for him whilst he continues interrogating Bertram.
Whilst Naomi believes that escape is impossible, Charley believes that they can escape using Bertram's ruffling power.
The MRI invigorates Bertram. Woking is called by the Minister who is being held hostage by Captain Warwick and tells Woking to meet with him before being shot and killed by him. Bertram sucks all the power from the MRI, leaving the building in darkness. The lack of power allows Charley, Robert and Naomi to escape and meet up with Bertram and Rab, but they are stopped by an armed Woking before they can escape.
== Cast ==
* Charlotte Pollard - India Fisher
* Robert Buchan - James Joyce
* Rogue Viyran - Dan Starkey
* Naomi Davies - Deirdre Mullins
* Woking - Kieran Hodgson
* Rab - Ashley Kumar
* Minister - Rachel Atkins
* The Identical Men - Colin McFarlane
* Madeline - Karen Henson
* Captain Warwick - Gary Turner
* Donald Predko - Glen McCready
* Lysette Allegro - Helen Goldwyn
== Worldbuilding ==
* Naomi parks on Villiers Street.
* The Minister issues a D-Notice.
* The Minister takes Woking to a troop transit centre in the London Underground which was built for the Second World War and also used in the Korean War.
* Viyrans don't consider names necessary, so Charley and Robert name their Viyran friend "Bertram".
* The biggest basking shark ever spotted in British coastal waters washes up on the Devon coast.
* Alex Barron is the Health Secretary.
* Robert and Charley dress Bertram in overalls.
* Woking mentions the Special Powers Act.
* Robert refers to the Battle of Trafalgar as "a big sea battle".
* Rab mentions Twitter and Facebook.
* Woking has an MRI.
== Notes ==
to be added
== Continuity ==
* Charley mentions a man that she knew who did nothing but laugh in the face of danger. (AUDIO: Storm Warning, etc.)
== External links ==
Category:Charlotte Pollard: Series Two audio stories
Category:Stories set in London
Category:Stories set in the 21st century