Jabberjaw

(Alt. name Jabby) Supposedly the youngest and newest member of the Radioactive Uber Clan (the newest around the time the RUC wiki was first made, at least). Jabberjaw is responsible for writing many articles on the RUC wiki and distributing RUC propaganda.
He also responds to questions on the RUC's ask.fm page. While it is closed off to users without an account now, it used to be a great place to get him to reveal his true colors, should you ask the right questions or poke one of his buttons.
==Personality==
As immature and egotistical as anyone can be. Jabberjaw claims to be one of the "kindest people" alive. However, he is prone to temper tantrums, screaming, name-calling, threats, among many other things when he or his writing is even lightly criticized. He even writes off any anti-RUC comments or any comments trying to clarify the facts of any situation as "Demon propaganda" if it doesn't fit their own narrative.
Like every other member, despite claiming to be a good and kind hero who can do no wrong, he has repeatedly threatened to scalp people and throws abuse at anyone who likes any piece of media that he doesn't.
He is also a compulsive liar, if that wasn't obvious enough. He's been known to edit any comments left on his propaganda pages that go against the RUC's narrative into one that does. Examples include: comments lambasting the RUC into comments praising them, or comments left behind by their targets explaining their own point of view into generically evil demon screeds about eating babies. If this doesn't indicate some sort of insecurity about the RUC's paper thin lies then I don't know what does.
If this wasn't enough, he also has a massive ego, constantly talking about how "great" he is in every way. See Choice Ask.fm quotes down this article to see some examples. Some say that his ego is so powerful, that it can inflict both mental and physical harm on others.
He also claims to be a vegan, even though he has on many occasions talked about his desire to cook and eat seals. He states that they don't count because they're "seafood." It's clear that Jabberjaw does not know how veganism works, not to mention seafood applies to fish and shellfish, not mammals.
==History==
Jabberjaw lived with his father and his brother (though his extended family includes some younger members of his family, more information on the Street Sharks page after it gets rewritten) for most of his life. He did not particularly get along well with his brother, and his father can only express disappointment at the antics that his son keeps getting up to, including associating with some very disreputable groups.
At some point, Jabberjaw was taken to the dentist to get a checkup on his teeth. He screamed and called the dentist a demon. Popeye and the RUC, who was around at the time to hear that, broke into the dentistry, assaulted anyone who was in the way, and attacked the dentist. They then "rescued" Jabberjaw, and took him into the klan. The dentist survived, but had to spend a week recovering in the hospital.
===Becoming the Propagandist===
Jabberjaw signed on to the klan without any hesitation. It wasn't long that the RUC decided that they were still missing someone who will work for hours and hours on end jotting down all of the RUC's propaganda for distribution. And with this new role, that he wrote a story about how the dentist was in fact a "masked demon" that the RUC rescued him from. While the RUC already had written down some screeds and propaganda on their own before this, Jabberjaw is when it would become a very, very prominent part of their klan. Many of their written propaganda are kept in the RUC "Archives," which have to keep moving from one building to another either due to vandals breaking in to scribble over everything, or just because Jabberjaw wanted something more "opulent" for his writings.
=== Jefferyjaw ===
After becoming a part of the klan, Jabberjaw would beg Popeye to seize the klan on his brother, Jefferyjaw. Popeye agreed, and they tracked him down, ganged up on him, and imprisoned him in some basement. Jabberjaw would then proceed to torment Jefferyjaw in many ways, which will be explained in detail on the Jefferjaw page once it's been rewritten.
It is possible this incident is also what inspired Albert to come to Popeye to do the same to the Justice Tower Protest Community after they kicked him out.
===Peninsula War===
=== Prelude ===
Jabberjaw participated in the Justice Tower Massacre, overseeing the soldiers killing many people, or rounding up any survivors that they can. He also chased after Audrey, who had escaped from the scene and fled further south down the peninsula.
Jabberjaw would then be assigned to handle affairs in the southeastern regions of the peninsula. He and his unit would discover an old abandoned palace somewhere in the area. Figuring that it's a fitting place for such a "grand and magnificent" man such as himself, that is where they set up their base of operations for their path of conquest. 
===During===
After preparing the troops, Jabberjaw, along with Noid, would begin marching troops out from his castle to take over the eastern regions of the peninsula, attacking many cities and slaughtering civilians along the way, particularly any who have bruised his ego.
They also encountered a very very very very (it cannot be understated) tiny force who had set out to oppose them, approx. 5 bodies or so. They were quickly routed due to their far inferior numbers and forced to retreat. It's possible that Lodington was the one who led such a force, as Audrey had arrived to warn him about the RUC's attack.
Regardless, many communities and civilians fell to their onslaught. Noid also took the opportunity to lead a detachment to raze any pizza joints they came across, sometimes even stuffing the employees into the ovens. It is also around this time that Jabberjaw brought his younger relatives (possibly cousins) along, assigning them to the cities to manage them... very poorly, as they are not exactly fully mentally developed at that point. Granted, Jabberjaw wouldn't have done much better. In fact, he'd probably do even worse than children.
After conquering a few cities however, Jabberjaw would fall back to his castle, where he would not do much besides indulge in his vanity all day. If not that, then reading letters sent by RUCitizens or hate-mail sent by people he has harmed. The latter he would usually always cross out the contents and rewrite with positive messages instead.
=== Defeat and Later War ===
Jabberjaw's attempt to conquer the eastern regions of the peninsula came to a complete halt thanks to the efforts of Donnel's Resistance forces, as well as members of Lodington's pretend-church (IT'S A REAL CHURCH DAMN YOU). Jabberjaw was cornered in his palace when Resistance forces stormed it, and he was captured as a result.
Unfortunately, after the resistance moved further north to bring the fight to Popeye, Jabberjaw ended up escaping his confinement to regroup with the main RUC force.
===Last seen moments===
Jabberjaw was a part of the final defense force Popeye had with him when the Resistance surrounded Justice Tower. It was reported that he engaged with the squadron that was sent to eliminate Popeye, but after the tower was cleared out, he was nowhere to be seen. His whereabouts are unknown, though it's likely he resides somewhere in The Republic now.
==Writings==
RUC wiki - Also known as the RUC Archives, this is where he writes and distributes most of the RUC's propaganda. The contents are full of disturbing and downright offensive material, particularly when it comes to the depictions of their enemies. Be warned, can cause psychological damage just from reading. We recommend the Radioactive Uber Clan Wiki Browsing Safety Guide.
RUChronicles Book Series - A book "series" supposedly co-authored by Jabberjaw and Dr. Zitbag (though even if that were true, it's clear Zitbag hasn't gotten very much credit for the work, aside from a passing mention). As one can expect it heavily promotes the RUC and demonizes everyone who has slighted them in the past. It also includes trading cards, though some have reported that they're either completely missing from one copy, or otherwise are just filled with cheap sheets of paper with crayon drawings on them. The books have been praised and said to have "garnered many awards due to its high writing and how it detailed the events perfectly" ... according to the RUC themselves that is. The self-granted awards also plaster the entire cover of the book, sometimes even the pages themselves, rendering parts of the cover and text unreadable. Also they're horribly overpriced, though some Resistance Members managed to steal some copies for research purposes... or just out of fascination for the screeds written in the books.
== Choice Ask.Fm Quotes ==
"What do you think when you look in the mirror?
How a handsome shark like me became a valuable member of the RUC."
"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
Me."
"What's more valuable, brains or beauty?
Brains but I have both so it doesn't matter."
"What gift would you like to receive?
A million dollars since I deserve it. "
"What do you think people think of you?
That I'm a heroic shark who is handsome."
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate yourself?
Beyond the scale."
==Trivia==
- Jabberjaw loves shoes and gets really happy whenever someone mentions shoes around him! (IE mentioning shoes really pisses him off, so do it whenever he's around!)
-The RUC wiki states that both of Jabberjaw's parents are dead (and even outright states that Jabberjaw's father is deceased). However... some of his statements heavily imply that Jabberjaw Senior is the name of his father, and that he's alive. The RUC's ask.fm page even responds to a question with Jabberjaw Senior being in an elderly home.
-For some reason, he hates spicy food to the point that he claims the only people who eat spicy food are demons because human stomachs can't handle spicy food. This has reached a point where the RUC, and by extension the Indigo Syndicate has launched a crusade against all spicy foods and anyone who's eaten them. (Sometimes they would even apprehend people for eating toasted bread.)
Category:Radioactive Uber Clan
Category:Main Four
Category:Members