Toon Town Exploration/Acme Jr.'s Real Murderers Revealed

(As Cloud's group, Jenny, and Joy continued their drive down the tunnel, they approach a red curtain at the end and then upon getting closer, the curtain opened and they are now in Toon Town as the toons started singing upon their entry)
Toons: Smile, darn ya, smile
You know that your world
Is a great world after all
Smile, darn ya, smile
And right away
Watch Lady Luck
Pay you a call
Things are never black
As they are painted
Time for you and joy
To get antiquated....
(Then some toon hummingbirds flew around the car, greeting Cloud's group, Jenny, and Joy)
Birds: Hi, Eddie! Bye, Eddie!
[The birds from Song of the South fly out and a lone bird flies in.]
Bird: Hi, Eddie! Bye, Eddie! <Crash!>
[As Valiant turns to look at the bird he crashes into the car he was following. He gets out and is surrounded by complete chaos. The bowling ball rolls and break it.] Mr. Toad: Talley-Ho! Talley-Ho!
[Snow White and Evil Queen is in the bakery shop. The Dwarves are in the sidewalk. The lizard from Alice in Wonderland climbs a ladder. He looks inside the other car, banging his head. A flock of toon birds from Cinderella hatch out above his head and Valiant shoos them away.]
Valiant: Get outta here.
[He then sees Jessica in a tall building. He waits for the lift to arrive and when it does it hits the ground with such force that it rattles the whole building. Droopy is the lift man.]
Droopy: Going up, sir...
[Valiant steps into the lift and falls down two feet to the floor of the lift.]
Valiant: Yaaaaaghh! <Bang>
[Valiant looks up at Droopy who is standing on a box.]
Droopy: Mind the step, sir... Hold on, sir...
[The lift shoots up with such velocity that it squashes Valiant to the floor. The Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote are seen behind the elevator doors.]
Valiant: Yaaaaggh! Hmmhmmm!
[The lift stops suddenly so that Valiant hits the padded roof of the lift.]
Valiant: Yaaaaaaggh!
Droopy: Your floor, sir...
[Valiant falls out of the lift. Droopy sticks his head out of the lift before the doors close.]
Droopy: Have a good day, sir...
Valiant: Ah. Gotcha!
[Valiant opens the door to Jessica's room to see her inside with some underwear. As she turns around, the hair drops from her face with freckles to reveal a hag.]
Hag: A man!
[The hag runs towards Valiant, lips puckered for a kiss. Valiant slams the door on the hag and her lips impale the door.]
Hag: Yoo hoo! Lover boy! It's Lena Hyena!
[Valiant tries to hide in the bathroom. He feels the wind and looking down sees no floor.]
Valiant: Arrrrggghh! Oh no! Aaarrrgghh!
[Valiant falls and grabs hold of a pole on which Tweety from Warner Bros. is nesting.]
Tweety: Oh look! Piggies!
Valiant: Hi, Tweety.
Tweety: [removing Valiant's grasp one finger at a time] This little piggy went to market, and this little piggy stayed at home...
Valiant: No!
Tweety: This little piggy had roast beef. And this little pig had ...
Valiant: Aaaaaaaaarrrghhhh!....
Tweety: Uh oh! Ran outta piggies!
[As Valiant falls, Bugs Bunny from Warner Bros. and Mickey Mouse from Disney appear next to him with parachutes strapped to their backs.]
Bugs: Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumping without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?
Valiant: Yeah.
Mickey: Yeah. Ha! You could get killed. Ha ha. Huh?
Valiant: You guys got a spare?
Mickey: Uh, Bugs does.
Valiant: Yeah?
Bugs: Yeah. But I don't think you want it.
Valiant: I do! I do! Give it to me!
Mickey: Gee. Ha ha. Better let him have it, Bugs.
Bugs: O.K. Doc. Whatever you say. Here's the spare...
Valiant: Thank you. [Valiant tugs the release cord to reveal a tire with the word spare written on it.] Aw no! Aaaaarrrgghh!
Mickey: Aw. Poor fella.
Bugs: Yeah. Ain't I a stinker?
[Valiant is about to hit the floor when the Hag catches him.]
Hag: My man!
[The kiss sends Valiant skidding across the road.]
Hag: Come to Lena!
[Valiant looks up to see the hag stampeding towards him. Looking down at the road he picks up the line painted there and lays it against the nearby wall. The hag follows the line around and crashes into the wall and knocks herself senseless, looking over Jessica's underwear and change it back to normal of Jessica Rabbit.]
Valiant: Toons. Gets 'em every time.
[Valiant hears footsteps in a nearby alleyway and walks down it. It is very dark and gloomy. The cat meowing.]
Valiant: Ahchhhoooo!
Shadow: Gesundheit!
Valiant: Thank you.
Jessica: Valiant!
[Valiant looks back to see Jessica pointing a gun at him.]
Valiant: I always knew I'd get it in Toontown.
[The shadow of a gun pointing itself at Valiant from the other direction casts itself on the wall beside Valiant.]
Jessica: Behind you!
[Jessica shoots and the gun falls from the shadow's hand.]
Valiant: [Drawing his own gun.] Drop it, lady.
Jessica: I just saved your life and you still don't trust me?
Valiant: I don't trust anybody or anything.
Jessica: Not even your own eyes? [Indicating a golden gun on the floor.] That's the gun that killed R.K. Maroon and Doom pulled the trigger.
Valiant: Doom?!
Jessica: I followed him to the studio, but I was too late to stop him.
Doom: [Running down the alleyway.] That's right! You'll never stop me! You're dead. You're all dead!
Valiant: Doom!
[Valiant shoots three times with his gun but before the bullets reach him he disappears down a side alley. The bullets grind to a halt.]
Bullet #1: Which way'd he go?
Bullet #2: Well, I don't know. [Pointing the wrong way.] He went that way.
Bullet #1: Let's go!
Valiant: Dum dums. [Throws gun away.]
Jessica: Come on!
Valiant: Yeah.
Jessica: [Seeing her car boot open and empty.] Oh no! Where's Roger?
Valiant: Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio.
Jessica: No, he didn't. I hit him on the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk... So he wouldn't get hurt.
Valiant: Makes perfect sense.
Jessica: We're obviously not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours.
Valiant: [Pointing back down the road where swerving tire marks lead off into the distance past burst water hydrants and knocked over lamps.] I've got a feeling someone already did.
Jessica: From the looks of it, I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel.
Valiant: A better lover than a driver, huh?
Jessica: You'd better believe it, buster. [They hear a siren.] Uh oh! It's the weasels. This way, we'll take Gingerbread Lane.
Valiant: No, wait! No, no. Gingerbread Lane's this way. [Sticks out thumb.]
Benny: [Appearing from nowhere.] So, Valiant, you call a cab or what? [Looking at Jessica.] Hubba hubba hubba. [Opening door for Jessica.] Allow me, mademoiselle.
[They speed along the tunnel leaving Toontown.]
Valiant: So how long have you known it was Doom?
Jessica: Before poor Marvin Acme was killed, he confided in me that Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown and he wouldn't stop at anything.
Valiant: So he gave you the will for safe keeping?
Jessica: That's what he told me, except when I opened the envelope, there was only a blank piece of paper inside.
Valiant: Huh! A joker till the end.
Benny: So where to already? My meter's running.
Jessica: I have to find my darling husband. I'm so worried about him.
Valiant: Seriously? What do you see in that guy?
Jessica: He makes me laugh.
[As they leave the tunnel, Doom tips a barrel of Dip onto the road. Benny spins round on it and crashes into a lamppost.]
Benny: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! I've been dipped! <Crash!>
[Valiant and Jessica are sent flying and Benny appears to be dead.]
Doom: Tsk tsk tsk. What an unfortunate accident. Nothing more treacherous than a slippery road and especially when driving in a maniacal Toon vehicle.
[The weasels drive out of the tunnel and pull up next to Doom.]
Smart Ass: Good work, fellas.
Doom: Don't just stand there. Help them. Put them in my car. I think they'll enjoy attending the ribbon cutting at the Acme factory.
Smart Ass: Come on, you mugs.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Fanmakes
Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Parodies