Marge in Chains/Quotes

:Mr. Burns: Who the devil are you?
:Homer's Brain: Don't panic. Just come up with a good story.
:Homer: My name is Mr. Burns!
:Homer's Brain: D'oh!
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:Bart: Who's gonna change Maggie?
:Homer: We're going to let her roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.
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:Chief Wiggum: All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says 'Capricorn', and something with coconut on it!
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:Dr. Nick: Order now and you'll also get Sun 'n' Run, the suntan lotion that's also a laxative!
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:Arnie Pye: Route 401 is going around and around and around and around and around. And look out at the corner of 12th and Main, because I'm gonna be sick.
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:Bart: Dad! We're running out of clean clothes!
:Lisa: It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever!
:Homer: Go up to the attic. There's a whole trunk of clothes. (comes down the stairs in a wedding dress humming *Here Comes the Bride* to himself)
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:Crowd: We need a cure! We need a cure!
:Dr. Hibbert: Ho ho ho. Why, the only cure is bedrest. Anything I give you would be a placebo.
:Woman: [frantic] Where can we get these placebos?
:Man: (points at truck) Maybe, there's some in this truck!
:(Crowd knock over truck and a box of killer bees from it break out and attack the crowd. A man, thinking the bee is a vaccine, takes it and swallows it)
:Man: I'm cured! I mean, ouch!
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:Flanders: Oh, the network slogan is true. Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity.
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:Lisa: Mom, could you bring me more O.J.?
:Bart: Mom, could you get me some of those Flintstones chewable morphine?
:Marge: There's no such thing!
:Homer: Marge, the boy is wasting TV time. Come change the channel and pat my head!
:Marge: In a minute!
:Homer: But I'll miss Sheriff Lobo!
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:Lisa: You're a latter-day Clarence Darrow!
:Lionel Hutz: Uh, was he the black guy on the Mod Squad?
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: Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
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:Homer: Now, kids, while your mother's gone, I don't want to have to wash any dishes, so from now on, drink straight from the faucet or milk carton, and we'll eat while standing over the sink or toilet.
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:Homer: Apu, I'd like you to drop the charges against my wife.
:Apu: No offense, but we're putting that bitch on ice!
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:Lionel Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I- uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
:Marge: Is that bad?
:Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I kinda ran over his dog.
:Marge: You did?
:Lionel Hutz: Well, replace "kinda" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
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:Milhouse: (looks at his lunchbox) Alright, baloney and cheese! What have you got, Bart?
:Bart: Pack of sugar and peanut butter smeared on a playing card.
:Nelson: Hah-hah! Your mom's a jailbird!
:Bart: So's yours.
:Nelson: Oh yeah. Let's play.
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:Marge: Knock, knock. I'm Marge Simpson, your new cellmate.
:Phillips: I'm Phillips. They called me that because I killed my husband with a Phillips-head screwdriver.
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:Helen Lovejoy: From now on, I'll use my gossip for good instead of evil.
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:(Lionel Hutz tries to give Judge Snyder a fake verdict)
:Judge Snyder: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says "guilty." And "guilty" is spelled wrong!
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:Bart: Mr Hutz, when I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer just like you.
:Lionel Hutz: Good for you, son. If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. Could you imagine a world without lawyers?
:(Hutz has a vision of a world without lawyers in his head with multicultural people walking and holding hands in a circle happily)
:(Hutz shudders)
es:Marge in Chains/Frases