Stone 40

Chapter 40
Kahlan gets up on a wagon to give her big speech to the Army of Children (all 5,000 of them). Does it count as speechifying if the character is supposed to be literally making a speech? Eh, I'll let it go.
Kahlan tells the AoC that Queen Cyrilla is alive (Riggs mentioned this last chapter, but I didn't because I didn't think it was important). Kahlan then goes on to tell the Children how she has committed the Midlands to war against the Imperial Order, and “No negotiation or compromise will be offered by the Midlands. Under no circumstances will the Order's surrender be accepted.” So Kahlan has effectively closed off all options aside from wholesale slaughter. It's understandable, and therefore not drink-worthy, but it seems a little...short-sighted and bloodthirsty. I have issues with purportedly-heroic characters who set out to utterly annihilate a group of people, no surrender, no quarter, death to everyone.
Anyway. Kahlan continues her Big Speech, mentioning that the city of Cellion (which is not shown on the map, and therefore gives us no point of reference) is in the Order's path, and it's up to the Army of Children to save it. She then starts going on about how awesome the Order soldiers are: huge and powerful and fearless and strong and bloodthirsty and well-trained and so forth. She asks a Random Soldier how he would deal with a particular military encounter that I don't feel like quoting, and he answers. Kahlan then explains how that answer would lead to the utter slaughter of Random Soldier's forces, painting the Order soldiers as lightning-fast, invulnerable, unstoppable supermen, and the Children as limp-wristed dopes. Sure is easy to prove your point when you argue both sides, eh Kahlan? \~/
There's more speech, and then some soldiers want to speak out and others are trying to shut them up. Kahlan says that “for this time only,” they can talk. A soldier named Williame Mosle (Mosle? How do I pronounce that?) speaks up, saying that they don't follow women and thus demonstrating his Evil Misogynist tendencies. He further cements his imminent demise by suggesting that, as Cellion is a Keltish city, they shouldn't waste their lives trying to save those damn dirty Kelts.
I would like to point out that Mosle's view of the Keltish people is pretty much exactly the same as Kahlan's view as of 13 chapters ago. \~/
Kahlan says that Mosle shouldn't have to fight for a cause he doesn't believe in, and invites him and anyone who agrees with him to leave now, before the battle starts. Mosle and about 60 or 70 of his buddies decide to bail. Naturally, they all give Kahlan “glares of contempt” and swagger about, declaring that they won't be rushed out of camp by her. Naturally, it's only Kahlan's word that holds back the rest of the soldiers from giving Mosle and his Designated Morons the bum's rush. Anyway, Kahlan carefully counts the Mosle Mob, which numbers sixty-seven.
Kahlan continues her speech-making (we're on page 6 of the speech by now, but at least it's not one continuous drone), explaining that she's not going to lead the Army of Children into battle, but rather to kill the enemy. She declares that “The purpose of war is singular: to kill.” I'm pretty sure that's not true; killing is the method, not the purpose. The purpose of war is varied: to take someone's land, to alter a political system, to exterminate a religion or other belief, to satisfy honor, et cetera. Killing is a means, not (or at least, not always) an end.
Anyway, at this declaration two more soldiers join Mosle, “gestur[ing] obscenely” at everyone else. Because you're either with Kahlan or you're a foul, drunken, hateful misogynist. Shades of gray? What are those? \~/
Kahlan then declares that she is dead, that the slaughter of Ebinissia has murdered her, and only vengeance will restore her. She likewise declares the Army of Children (now down to 4,931) to be dead as well, and leads them in their new oath, “Vengeance without mercy before our lives are returned to us!” This somehow causes seven more soldiers to abandon her (Mosle 76, Kahlan 4,924).
Now Kahlan starts barking out orders, including the standard “no alcohol” rule. As a brief aside, I must say that one reason alcohol was so popular historically (aside from the obvious) was that it killed germs. Drinking booze, or even watered booze, was a lot safer than drinking water. Logically, either or both of these armies should be crawling with diseases (more likely the Order, since they seem to have the hygiene and discipline of a sounder of ravenous hogs).
Anyway, Kahlan orders that the booze is to be left on the trail ahead so the Order can find it. This will get them all drunk...all 50,000 of them. Seriously? How much alcohol did the Children's Army have? \~/ And are the Order soldiers really going to just say “Hey, free beer! How completely non-suspicious!”
Oh, wait; they're all drunken gluttonous man-beasts. That's exactly what they'll say. \~/
Mosle and his boys leave. Kahlan continues the speech, explaining how she wants the Army of Children to focus on killing the enemy's bowyers and fletchers and smiths, smash up their weapons, and take out the officers. I'm no military savant, but I understood that all of these things and people are usually placed behind the common soldiers. We shall see.
Kahlan orders a bunch of tubs of whitewash to be made ready. No matter what you think this is for, I guarantee you can't come up with anything as stupid as what it's actually for. Wait for it.
Kahlan ends her Great Speech, then calls Ryan over. She orders him to assemble enough men to “do the deed,” and take them out to kill Mosle and his boys. Ryan is understandably upset by this and correctly points out that she herself said those men could leave peacefully. Kahlan basically tells him to go do it or she'll murder him where he stands, reconfirming her status as a lying bitch. She explicitly orders him to kill every last one of the seventy-six.
I think that's worth a couple of drinks. \~/\~/
There's a lovely bit where Kahlan acknowledges that it's entirely possible she just ordered the murder to 76 innocent men, after personally guaranteeing their safety. But, you know, whatever. \~/
Kahlan details Prim to go with the Death Squad and make sure no one escapes alive, and Ryan delegates the Death Squad to Looey #2. Having had her fun, Kahlan goes to take a nap.
Drinks: 7
<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>