Beep-0/Quotes

==Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle==
===Ancient Gardens===
*"Why do I have ears!?"
*"Well, I hope you're happy!"
*"STOP IT! Those Rabbids, they seem driven to cause chaos and mayhem - more so than usual, even. Unlike our two friends here, they seem to have been... corrupted by that Rabbid wearing the SupaMerge headset. Could it be the SupaMerge headset was corrupted on its way to this world? If so... we're all in terrible danger! Mario! We must find that poor Rabbid fused to the headset! He is the key! Save him - we might just save this world."
*"A shocking (though admittedly hilarious) example of the chaos wrought by yet intrusion of our world into this one. Help- Me- I- Can't- Get clear- Thank you, so much! Oh, what is it now? Uh, I've just received a message! Dearest Beep-O, whose bravery, intelligence and compassion stand as a beacon of hope for us all. If my timing is correct, you are in dire need of help. Please open the attachments to this message - their receipt is most auspicious, I assure you. Signed, Your Biggest Fan. Wow! When the email said 'attachments' I thought it was talking about cat videos or something!"
*"So! Are you guys want to fight back? Careful now - my sensors detect two enemies on the battlefield! One is hiding behind partial cover, so your chance to hit is. The other is out in the open, giving you a chance to hit it. You can cycle through targets with the Left Stick. Press A to Shoot the selected target. Cowards! Now, they've all behind full cover! We have chance of hitting them from here - we'll only hit their cover. We'll need to flank them! Move around with the Left Stick to position yourself for a snot with a chance of hitting. I recognize those blocks from the basement. I hope they're structurally sound after the SupaMerge but I doubt it." 
*"There! In the sky - see that? It began the moment the Rabbids teleported into the Mushroom Kingdom. Hmm... the energy we've seen floating upwards after we defeat an enemy - I wonder... All of the move reason to catch that Rabbid with the SupaMerge headset! He's the key to stopping this, I'm sure of it! Greetings, sweet golden perennial of the prairie! We are- Why did you do that?
*"I assure you, these Rabbids are not like their colleagues!"
*"Ahem! Our good friends Rabbid Luigi and Rabbid Peach helped us well!"
*"Certainly not! We need to find him before- Another message! Congratulations on getting this far! A wise man once said, "If I have three hours to chop a tree, I will spend two of them sharpening my axe.' I urge you now to return to Princess Peach's Castle and do just that - prepare yourselves for the fight to come! Well, that's all well and good. But how?! You may be wondering "how?". In the time to took you to read this email I have updated your operating system... ...it now includes a new GPS wrap mechanism I call, Sploing! The name is a work in progress. Anyhow, simply activate it and you and your friends will return to Princess Peach's Castle immediately. Signed, your Biggest Fan. Well, that's amazing if true. I suppose I should give it a-"
*"Allow me, your highness! I am Beep-O - an autonomously intelligent scientific research and operational assistant."
*"We call this one Rabbid Luigi... ...and this is Rabbid Peach. Er... he he. She's taking her cosplay a bit too seriously, I'm afraid."
*"It appears as if the Rabbids we freed from the Megabug's control have ended up here - and no worse for wear, either!"
*Come, let us for ourselves what your Rabbid cousins have been up to... A fossilized Spiny Shell. We must find a way to restore it - and then spend the rest of our time trying to avoid it."
*"I'm not so thrilled with the Rabbids' work thus far - let's hope this little project of theirs is more constructive."
*"The gate won't budge. We'll need to find another way to that part of the garden." 
*"Heck! A new breed of hopping enemies! Team Jump will prove invaluable here. Use it to gain the upper hand! What's this?! Our pseudonymous sympathizer just sent me a system update! From now, before combat begins, you can choose whether to leap headlong into the heat of battle... ...or take time to carefully plan your strategy first, thanks to this new app called, er, TactiCam. Try it!" 
*"Beware! The area seems quiet, but my sensors detect the presence of lots of hidden enemies! It'll be impossible to defeat them all. Let's focus on reaching that safe zone at the end of the battlefield. As long as one of us reaches the safe zone, we win! It is vital that we stop that Rabbid who integrated himself with the SupaMerge before he creates any more atrocities!" 
*"Uh, I've received another message from our mysterious friend, let me read it to you. Congratulations, Beep-O! You have successfully led your party through trails and travails worthy of Odysseus himself... Finally! Someone gives me the credit I'm due. This, of course, is mainly due to Mario and your Rabbid friends - whose skill in battle you vastly underestimated. Yes, well... Ahem! Though as with Odysseus, there are rougher waters ahead. Therefore, I feel the time has come to bestow upon you some new tools for your arsenal. Henceforth, in addition to being able to move and fire upon your adversaries, you will each be able to perform one other action during the natural course of combat. To Mario, I have given the gift of Hero Sight. When activated, he will be able to strike at foes within range even outside the normal succession of events. To Rabbid Peach I give the gift of Shield. When used, it will ward against most weapons damage. To Rabbid Luigi I grant Super Barrier. It protects against enemy Super Effects and can also reduce damage. As for how to most effectively use your new gifts, I leave that to you to discover for yourselves. More gifts will come in the future... I hope. With Anticipation, your biggest fan. Aha! Our incognito ally's ability to give us exactly what we need at exactly the right time is uncanny! Remind me not to play them at Go Fish."
*"Check out those suspicious covers! They have the same Super Effect symbol most weapons have. They look ready to explode - or something. Let's avoid using weapons within close proximity to them! Strange. Though it looks like there are only two of those Rabbid-marked covers... ...my sensors detect four of them! Watch out, they may disguise as normal covers! I have so many questions here... Perhaps they're better left unanswered. Talk about the life of the party. It's not just wearing a lampshade; it's wearing the whole lamp!"
*"Did you know you gain a damage bonus when you attack from above? Fire upon an enemy from this vantage point and see for yourself! Aha! So, you're the other half of the fabled duo, Mario and... and... Louis? Lyle? LLewellyn? Er... well... all the same, welcome! You know, you could help us save the Mushroom Kingdom instead of just lounging around... Hello? It may be asleep now, but as soon as it seems our presence it will wake up, eager to bite us! Or one of those enemies. Really, a Chain Chomp doesn't discriminate - it'll just zero on the closest target. The good news is that the Chain Chop will only charge once we have completed our turn." 
*"Uh-oh, the broken bridge ahead! I guess we need to find an alternative to continue on our path... That was an eight-inch bubble wand in our world. Now, it's eighty feet! We'll have to bring over a burrito next time. There's a tiny plaque here from the artist that reads, 'Rabbid Building a Log Cabin'. I wonder what that means?"
*"The tip of the whip that tames the beast is the very face of Aphrodite herself". Ladies and gentlemen - it is clear we must rescue "Spawny" from the clutches of Bowser Jr... ...before, he can destroy what's left of the Mushroom Kingdom, forever! I saw we adjourn to Princess Peach's Castle for a series of breakout sessions... ...during which we shall workshop solutions in a safe, open environment! In other words... Let's get moving!" 
*"Did you see that? I can move certain blocks now! I knew I was a lot stronger than I looked! With this ability we may be to reach entirely new area within the Mushroom Kingdom... ...or backtrack to the Ancient Gardens and reach previously inaccessible areas! The Rabbids tweaked the cannon so that we can choose where to launch to. 
*"According to my sources, Bowser Jr. was last seen headed towards the Sherbet Desert! Let's follow him and retrieve, er, Spawny!"
===Donkey Kong Adventure===
*"OH, NO! Where's the rest of the Washing Machine? Where are WE? Marooned! On a tropical island with NO means of wrapping back! We HAVE to reassemble and fix the Washing Machine by finding its missing parts. It's our only way to get back to the Mushroom Kingdom! Look! I see more locals who I'm sure will be willing to help. I'll just need to sweet talk them. AHEM! Pardon me - we are in need of your quaint assistance." 
*"Ah... the mighty Donkey Kong! Let's put those bulging biceps of yours to work against these Tropical Ziggies! Did you know you're strong enough to pick up most Cover Blocks and throw them? You can also grab allies and enemies alike to toss them elsewhere on the battlefield. Ooh, Rabbid Cranky! My sensors detect that your Boombow conceals some formidable firepower. Let's check it out." 
*Say, I remember you two - you were in the basement when Spawny put on the SupaMerge headset. The Megabug must have brought you HERE instead of the Mushroom Kingdom. Regardless, we're glad you found us when you did. Hold on - I think I can translate... "Dang blasted machine fell apart in the... dang blasted sky... dang parts everywhere..." Yes, yes. We NEED to find that Washing Machine and its scattered parts. Can you draw us a map? He says the Barrel Cannon can get us to the main island where the missing parts are." 
*Sigh.. He says he wants to show us something - I'll take care of it. Thank you, but we'll take it from here. I'm sure you have your hands full er... waving your cane angrily at teenagers? I don't mean to be rude, you're a great fighter and all, but I suspect you may slow us down a bit and..." 
*"Er... I'd rather we got you a walking frame or electric scooter, but if this speeds things along, so be it." 
*"Fast asleep while everyone else scrambles to get all the work done! They'll be of no use to us while they snooze." 
*"Legend has it the wicked pirate Banana Beard shipwrecked here. They say his ghost makes banana custard by the light of the full moon." 
*"GASP! A Washing Machine part. Looks like an important one, too. Quick, let's grab it!" 
*"These assailants are Collectors - they steal anything shiny and metal including our Washing Machine parts! We'll have to defeat the Collectors to retrieve the Washing Machine parts. Quick! Before another picks them up! If we don't retrieve ALL of the washer parts, not only will we be stuck here forever, but we'll void the warranty." 
*"An octopus fetching something different for his underwater garden." 
*"Yellow is very fashionable this year." 
*"Now, now - don't blow your top Rabbid Peach! Rabbid Kong will get what he has coming! GASP! Donkey Kong! Check those fascinating surface formations! By hoping on them, you'll be able to leap forward at even greater distances! There are lots of them on the battlefield. Leap across multiple gaps to increase your movement range!" 
*"You know, when you said you wanted to "show us something" you could have been a LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC! Rabbid Kong! Or all the-! Sigh... How did he even GET here? And he looks so STRONG. He must have been working out." 
*"Woah! So, the main body of the Washing Machine is right in the core of hideout of Rabbid Kong!? ...and it's guarded by an army somewhere beyond that giant gate that needs TWO keys to open. WONDERFUL. Doubtless, they're scattered far and wide - safeguarded by wicked brutes. Typical. We need to find those keys! Hurry!" 
*"The lesson here is to never lie out under a giant magnifying glass unless you already have a good base tan. Speaking of which, Donkey Kong, I detect some interesting spots on the ground. Hop on them and you'll be able to perform an amazing leap forward!" 
*"Bad Bananas - they may sound like an indie band but it's actually the source of Rabbid Kong's newfound powers. Rabbid Kong has minions stockpiling them for him everywhere. We have no choice but to destroy the Bad Bananas on sight. Imagine having one of THESE on your dashboard, I'd just as soon take the bus. I didn't think bananas could be any less appealing but there you go." 
*"Boy, he's got a long way to go before his big fight. He could really use a training montage right about now.
*Uh oh. Looks like we're in the middle of a Honeybird Bombing Run! See that shelter? If we can reach it, we'll be safe from their sweet and sticky salvo! Let's spread out to avoid becoming a honey-drizzled hero cluster. Also, help each other to keep everyone honey-free!" I hope I'm wrong, but I fear those boats are meant to bring Bad Bananas to nearby islands." 
*"Hey, this isn't a vacation! Go build us something useful like a bowling alley or a burger joint!" 
*Imagine having one of THESE on your dashboard. I'd just as soon take the bus. We could start a heck of a spoken-word poetry slam if they'd just learn to play a smooth jazz rhythm or two." 
*"An offering. The locals believe Rabbid Kong will bring them a wealth of bananas if they er... give him all their bananas. It's likely a signal light of some kind. Perhaps to let someone know when a new shipment of bananas is in port." 
*"Sigh... another gate to block our progress. I'm starting to hate these things. The gate is guarded by two totems. They look menacing, but I detect they hold the solution to the riddle of the closed gate. Hm! What are these big buttons for? There's one set of them for each totem. I can't entirely make out what the symbols on these panels mean. They speak to some kind of balance between what should be done and what shouldn't." 
*"We did it! Boy, that was easy. %&#$ I spoke too soon! There's more to do. That placard there - we'd best investigate." 
*"I didn't think bananas could be any less appealing, but there you go. What's that bridge? Of course! The Rabbids was liberated from the Megabug's grasp built it. We've seen something similar at Peach's Castle. They seek to make amends by building all sorts of useful things to aid us - bridges, Rabboltories, weapons... Hurrah for nonstop productivity of guilt-ridden employees!" 
*"We still need one key - and there's not a lockbox or potted plant in sight. Let's use the bridge to investigate the reef. Rabbid Peach! Stop being selfie-sh!" 
*"There are 512,653 palms EXACTLY like this one around here, but they just HAVE to fight over this one! Ridiculous!" 
*"Those fountains are exact likenesses of the Bwanahanini Spitting Goatfish. At the end of our turn, they spit water! RUDE. Their range is unlimited, but the stream is powerful enough to push us, even damage us! At least even enemies are affected by them in the same way, so that's something, I suppose. In fact, they're so tired of being hosed down, morale is low. Defeat enough and the rest will flee, ending the battle! Ha! Cowards! See how they run? They're out of MY league!" 
*"They're obsessed with catching fish but have no idea how care for them." 
*"Imagine the metal storm of skull-rattling rock you could summon from the gods of thrash if you could wield this axe." 
*"Hmm... while this slovenly sluggard may look like a Smasher, it's not. It's a Smuggler! They're delivering Bad Bananas all over the island, to aid their corrupted colleagues. They must be stopped! Smugglers MUST be defeated BEFORE they reach the other side of the battlefield. If they escape, we lose! It reminds me of Botticelli's "The Birth of Venus" - only instead of divine perfection it's more horrid revulsion." 
*"This time the Collectors brought in their big brothers - the Bucklers! Big, bad and shielded. Here's a tip. You'll need to flank Bucklers so your attacks aren't blocked by that shield of theirs! They're frantically trying to intercept that message. Imagine their disappointment when they find out it's just pizza coupons."
*Another closed gate... But hey, look at this ornate coral organ! Makes you want to tickle the ol' ivories!" 
*"By pushing this button, the piano will play automagically. Cool, but what'd be the use of that?" 
*"The gate is open! Plus, a secret banana appeared. C'mon! Shed some more licks on those ivories! Backside 270 noseblunt into a switch flip, bro! BUST IT OUT!" 
*"It's raining ink-filled coconuts! Ouch! Why couldn't they be blueberries? If my readings are correct, those are Summoners. Guess what they have summoning skills! We must defeat all the Summoners otherwise we'll fight an endless battle in the coconut rain! Run you curs! Run! Tell all the other curs that Beep-O's comin'! I'm not sure that's the worst place for those Rabbids, for now." 
*"We'll empty the canister when we have time. Run! Run! Jump! Woo boy, he'll be lucky to get to 125 meters unless he finds a Hammer.
*"Well, it's nice to see them cooperating, even though they're going to get potassium poisoning." 
*"This statue is entitled "The Coronation of the Bwanana-hana-mati". Moments after the coronation... ...the peel was thrown on the ground and a tribal chief slipped on it, plunging the island into a thousand-year war." 
*"More Smugglers - they're bringing Bad Bananas to their home base. Obviously, Rabbid Kong is getting nervous. He's gathering as many Bad Bananas to him as he can. One positive thing to come out of this is the Rabbids' love of bananas. Wait until they see my Bananas Foster Cinnamon French Toast Caramel Smoothie recipe. Ho, ho! My current record at checkers is 456-1. My only loss was to a Tronic-O 800XL Smart Toaster if you can believe it." 
*"Great - the gangway is completely inaccessible. Even if we could reach it, it's covered in vines. They obviously don't care much about lawn maintenance around here. I suspect this all has something to do with these strange carvings on the ground. Let's take a closer look." 
*"(Coughs) (Coughs) Is everyone OK? Great... the temple collapsed, plunging us headlong into the caverns underneath. You don't think there are mole people living down there, do you? Or centipedes? Centipedes give me the heebie jeebies! Ala, even the pale moonlight barely penetrates the gloom down here. I'm losing my sense of sight! Language is all but lost - I'm forgetting what things on the surface look like HELP! Rabbid Peach might be losing her mind! Rabbid Peach! Where are- ... Rabbid Peach! How can you moonbathe at a time like this? You should be panicking blindly like me! AHEM... you know there's no phone service this far down, right?" 
*"Enough! We've got to get a grip. Rabbid Kong is still out there, controlling the banana market with an iron fist. We need to CAREFULLY find a way out. This is a dungeon after all, there's bound to be traps and spooky dungeon-stuff." 
*"Egad! Beware the invulnerable Idol of Recoil! In its unforgiving eyes we are but unworthy interlopers! It has strong connection to its worshippers; they are the source of its power. If we defeat its worshippers, the Idol of Recoil will accept us as worthy and not bother us." 
*"They're big on rituals, these idols. A reenactment of Bwahgatahana-manu's sacrifice of his unemployed brother-in-law who was living with him at the time... ...he CLAIMED that the Banana Gods "told him to do it", but I'm not sure." 
*"Agh! Fire Burpers! At the end of our turn, they'll shoot flames from their mouths. Not all of them, however. If you watch carefully, you SHOULD be able to tell which ones are about to belch fire." 
*"Rabbid Kong found a tiny garden snake while panting some hydrangeas. The artist blew it out of proportion to stroke his ego. This poor fellow is besieged by telemarketers demanding that he invest in banana futures." 
*"Rabbid Kong's banana hoarding caused a lot of volatility in the market. If I were a Rabbid I'd take the short position." 
*"Wait a second, now there are THREE Idols? A fiery one too? No fair! Once again, we must take care of all enemies on the battlefield - then the invulnerable Idols will let us go!" 
*"Rabbid Peach, despite her heartless actions atop the block tower that led us here. ...has proven herself a reformed Rabbid - showing mercy in our hour of victory to this poor, misunderstood creature. Perhaps she is a diva... a diva of dignity, grace and compassion. Well, I got the "diva" part right, anyhow!" 
*"Well, Rabbid Kong - thank you for carrying the washer. Next time I need to move I know who to call. Ha ha! Little joke. Well, I think the warranty is DEFINITELY shot, but the washer is good as new! Or at least... as good as it ever was. I suppose this is goodbye... as it is your intention to remain here and make amends for your banana racketeering." 
*"As for Rabbid Peach and myself, it's back to the Mushroom Kingdom. I am overjoyed, however, to be parting as friends. Aha! The Megabug's influence is gone! The island is free! Thanks to my guidance, of course!" 
*"Hey, Rabbid Peach. Maybe we shouldn't RUSH back to the Mushroom Kingdom. It IS Washing TIME machine after all... Why, we could go sight-seeing, surfing... ... parasailing, hold a limbo contest, water bucket relay, comb the beach with a metal detector... ... Or we could just stay here and cuddle this adorable, giant furball!"
===Sherbet Desert===
*"My sensors reveal two interesting facts regarding Smasher behavior... One - their temper. If stuck by a weapon they will charge attacker like a raging bull! Two - they have the stamina of a walrus after an all-you-can-eat fish fry. If you're far enough away they stop charging. Wonderful, this once-thriving desert is now partly a frozen wasteland. Your arrival in this world would seem to be as welcome as a skunk in a bowling alley."
*"Again?!"
*"Ahem! Two steps forward, one step back. To find Spawny you must defeat the Rabbids who plague you at every step, however... each victory frees them from the Megabug upon high. Pay close attention when you defeat an enemy and you'll see that Megabug regains some of the strength it lost when it merged with your foe. Hint: the ghost-like apparitions that rise to the sky after you clobber someone senseless are a clue. Yes, I see! Defeating the Rabbids frees them from the Meagbug's stronger! Oh, that's very clever I- Oh... Oh, dear. That's not good, is it? Our only hope is to find Spwany... ...and stop him from creating any more abominations that will only add substance to the storm above! As you would say - let's-a-go. First to find Toad, then Spawny! Bwah is the word - it's not groove, it's got meaning! Apparently, this town ain't big enough for the two of them. Poor fella, once he soared freely overhead, spreading fear all throughout the Mushroom Kingdom." 
*"Just look at him now - tangled in gaudy Rabbid undergarments. Oh, what cruel fate! We must restore Mushroom Kingdom to its original state. Banzai Bill's freedom (and dignity) depends on it."
*"I see you escaped Spawny's offspring back at the tower. Well, don't waste time putting yourselves on the back. With Spawny at my side you'll be the ones fading into oblivion soon enough. Then nothing and no one'll be the boss of me! Hear me? No one! Papa?! Papa, I'm kinda in the middle of some- No, I'm not throwing a party! I finished my homework. I finished my homework. Well... most of it. Yes, I took out the garbage. Okay, Papa... C'mon, Spawny. We're not done yet. We still gotta defeat Mario and his dumb friends! Papa'll be so proud!"
*"I collected some data on Supporters. While they are not great fighters, they are expert healers! Moreover, even if their weapons don't deal much damage, they're prone to trigger Super Effects. Beware!"
*"Funny, she said the same thing about you."
*"We are not a delivery service. We have important work to do."
*"Mr. Toad, you have yourself a deal!"
*"Not a care in the world. Wouldn't that be nice?"
*"Are you sure you can carry it by yourself?"
*"Well then, I suggest we waste no time in reuniting with your less directionally impaired buddy. For the sooner we do, the sooner our ice-ensconced ally can join us in the fight against Bowser Jr.!" 
*"Perfect Toad! He's unarmed, so he can't attack, only move. It's up to you to make sure Toad reaches the other side of the battlefield safe and sound. Enemies will keep spawning. If Toad takes too much damage, you lose!" 
*"What the-! Ah, I see our frozen friend has finally decided to join us. A pale imitation of the real thing, of course, but still... ...any ally in the fight against Bowser Jr. is a welcome sight indeed. I suggest we withdraw to Princess Peach's Castle to get our new companion up to speed." 
*"Bucklers! Here's a tip - you'll find to flank them, so your attacks aren't blocked by that shield of theirs! What's that? Okay, maybe that one obvious, but did you know their dash can be explosive? Or that they're lucky shots? That they use Honey in combat? Hmm? Did you? Of course not! Lucky, I'm here, then." 
*"Given what these power blocks are capable of, I'm actually pretty glad its broken. Even though it's fossilized it still gives me the creeps. Let's pass through quickly. Before you can blink it will get bigger and bigger blowing away everyone in its path. Afterwards the tornado will calm down again. You can always see where its heading by checking the weathercock. The answer my friends, is bwah-in' in the wind, the answer is bwah-in' in the wind...
*"I can't tell if that's the same Rabbid or two neighbors trying to avoid each other. We are honored to have you join us, Your Highness." 
*"May I suggest we return to your castle so we may prepare for our next match? That'd be... Peachy." 
*"They're praising the spirit of Papa Rabbo, guardian of time-travelling washing machines." 
===Spooky Trails===
*"Spooky Trials... A place deserving of its name, I see. Sigh... No sign of Bowser Jr. or Spawny. They could be anywhere. Aha! Perhaps our mysterious benefactor has the answers we seek! Congrats on finding Spooky Trails. Isn't it great? Check out the gate in front of you. Wow, our Guardian Angel is good. Behind the Moon Gate is the cure for plague that's ravaged the Mushroom Kingdom for too long! A champion that has long been asleep will awaken and set things right! But to get to him, you'll need to find the two uh... er... Lost Relics of Goodness! Find the relics and the champion - a Mr. Tom Phan - shall awake and sing with joy at having you before him! Ooh! That sounds nice! Well, we don't have many clues, but at least we have a plan! Let's find these relics, shall we? Two pedestals, both empty - and two lost Relics of Goodness to recover. They must be related somehow. Hey, that large gate over there just opened. Coincidence? I think not. Interesting to note that smaller side gates are also open. Whoever built this place sure loved gates." 
*"My sensors tell me that these enemies are masters of long-range attacks and teleportation! They could outflank us, attack and then vanish before we could react! Talk about unsporting! Also, beware their seductive charms! Peek-a-boos can pull you towards them like a Siren leading a sailor to his doom!" 
*"Could that gramophone over there be one of the, uhm, Relics of Goddess? I thought I saw a matching gold pedestal somewhere... but where? They must be connected somehow. Let's grab the gramophone and get out of here." 
*"This place sends shiver down my theoretical spine! Er, unpleasant for your enemies, I mean! The second relic of Goodness will involve a long and perilous journey during which you'll probably meet a grisly end. Have fun. Well, I certainly hope this Tom Phan person is worth the trouble... Still, if there's even a chance, he can help us defeat Bowser Jr. and rescue Spawny, we've got to take it!" 
*"Oh, #%S*@ - not again."
*"Toad wandered off, you got separated and now you need our help to find him... again."
*"You know, we are heroes. It's not like we don't have quests and things. Oh, I don't want to be a bother."
*"I'm sorry, we are simply too busy right now to-"
*"What if it's just an old boot and a rusty telescope or something?"
*"Sigh..."
*"Sigh... May I suggest that the two of you go back the way came and find something to do indoors?! Like... make jam... put up some new wallpaper... maybe study a map?"
*"Oh, no! No, no, no-"
*"Wait! Don't... @%#@! Come on everyone, let's see if there's anything useful in this chest of theirs... ...before we collect second Relic of Goodness and find Tom Phan. Someone needs to get those poor Rabbids a ginger lozenge or a lemon edge or something."
*"We are?!"
*"Oh. Well, thank you but I prefer to build my house on the solid foundation of science and reason rather than... ...mindless superstition."
*"One fortune, please!"
*"Can we get a hint as to what this item is?"
*"Are you talking about on the ground? Does one of us trip or something?"
*"Ahem! Well then, I think we're wasted enough valuable time on this sideshow. We'll let you get back to separating the slack-jawed yokels from the money they saved to buy pickled pigs' feet. Good day, madam."
*"Drawing a live Rabbid on your tarot card means chaos, destruction, laughter and giant toilets are in your future." 
*"It looks like a Boo Balloon! It's the missing Relic of Goodness! Let's bring it back its pedestal I see a shortcut down there, past the fountain! Voi-la! Our prayers have been answered." 
*"Now the Moon Gate should open wide for us! I said, 'Viola'! It... It was supposed to open. Why isn't it open? We did our part! We retrieved the Lost Relics of Goodness! *&#$%@! Why isn't it open?! It's not fair! Why isn't it... Great! The wrong side. Maybe there's a hotline we can call or something." 
*"Aha! Our anonymous patron has again picked the perfect time to lend a helping hand. Dorks, you're probably feeling pretty discouraged right now, not that I blame you. I'd be discouraged if I were you, too. The Moon Gate can't be opened unless there's a full moon (duh). Too bad it's gone already. Lucky for you, I know a way to get it to come back! Just take the totally non-spooky path leading from the gate that just opened and everything will work out just fine and you won't be killed. I promise." 
*"Hmmm... There's something off about this last message - though I can't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps there was more to Madame Bwahstrella's fortune than she let on. Perhaps someone else is planning to harm us and our enigmatic ally is as in the dark as we are! To the gate! Phew... Welcome to the ragtag alliance! Anyone who wishes to aid in our quest to make the Mushroom Kingdom whole again gladly received." 
*"Valkyries go to great lengths to protect themselves and others. Watch for their Team Jump - it ends with a Ground Pound! Don't let them get the drop on you... literally! Also beware their, er... 'unique' yet powerful shooting technique." 
*"Ew. What if they catch them? Oh gosh. Look up. It's not the only looking scarier, now it sounds awful too! Well, I don't think it's inviting us over for hot cocoa and lemon bars! In fact, I think it's inviting us to do just the opposite - whatever that is." 
*"It feels like it's watching us - biding its time while it grows in power. All the more reason to get to Mr. Tom Phan as quickly as possible! 
*"Brrr! A graveyard. It's cold, wet and unfortunately, exactly where we need to be. However, I'm confused. The only interesting thing here is the clock tower on the other side of the graveyard... ...how can it possibly help us to get the moon to rise twice in the same night? Interesting, this contraption looks to be linked to the clock tower. Is it a puzzle? Perhaps by turning the clock's hands backwards we'll force the moon back in the sky? Sounds like the type of nonsensical Rabbidese logic the Mushroom Kingdom is overrun with... ...And therefore probably worth a shot!" 
*"The moon! It's... it's reversing its course! Aha! Our cryptic colleague calls to congratulate us. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The Moon Gate is open and Mr. Tom Phan awaits. Soon, you'll be out of the picture entirely! Muhahahahaha! Er... when I wrote 'out of the picture' I meant, 'doing great'. Also, when I wrote 'muhahahahaha' I meant, 'congratulations'. Also, when I wrote 'muhahahahaha' the second time I meant, er.... "You guys are really cool and I like you at lot and definitely don't wish you any harm.' (Snickers) Well! It would seem that our quest is almost at end. Let's not keep our savior waiting any longer than necessary! Why, it's a theater! Tom Phan sure has a fair for the dramatic, doesn't he? Beep-O, just a quick note to let you know my email was hacked. Please ignore my messages about a Mr. Tom Phan as I suspect it's a trap... ...though no doubt you figured that out for yourself already, as I'm sure it was as obvious to you as it was to me. Signed, Your Biggest Fan."
*"Bowser Jr.! It was you that sent us those messages asking us to collect the Relics of Goodness... so we could unlock the Moon Gate to find Mr. Tom Phan, wasn't it? I knew it all along! Er... well, I suspected. Okay, I just figured it out in the last thirty seconds. Tom Phan was a red herring. It was just a trap, wasn't it?"
*"My sensors indicate that Tom Pha- er, the Phantom, is immune to attack when he's hogging the spotlight! If this greedy songbird is to sing his swan song, we must find a way to turn off those lights!"
===Lava Pit===
*"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the very mouth of the lion itself - Bowser Jr. has been busy since his father left. It looks like as if he's transformed the heart of this volcano into some sort of military production facility. I fear our travails thus far are just a prelude for what is come to. Be on your guard..." 
*"His skin must be irritated - probably all the dry air down here. Hey! Stop scratching and use some aloe!" 
*"The Super Dimension Mecha Mobile Beast King Ninja Rabbidbot - a failed experiment unfortunately." 
*"Evil aside, it's nice to see some things are still done by hand." 
*"Looks like our progress is blocked! Hmm... the colored pedestals appear to each match a different problem. Pedestals are generally made to put things on top of them. We should try different combinations to see what happens." 
*"Someone's feeding this Chain Chomp Rabbid-shaped cookies! It's going to think they all taste like shortbread now." 
*"My sensors detect they bought a QwickPress so they can do the ride over and over again." 
*"We need a way down - but the pipes aren't connected! Hmm... Let's see what those switches do." 
*"Good to see there's at least one Rabbid who's got his butt in gear! Ha ha ha! Gosh, I'm on a roll today." 
*"This is the biggest pipe labyrinth yet - seriously how paranoid is Bowser Jr.? So many pipes leading to nowhere - and is that a mech?! At what point do you just move to a gated community, you know? There's only one way through this place that will lead us to Spawny. Let's watch our step, there's no time to lose." 
*"Ah, the famous Yoshi - and with Spawny, no less! Fortune has finally smiled upon us! But we've got no time to celebrate - Bowser Jr. could be back any second. We need to get Spawny out of here, now! So, Yoshi, is it true have your own island?" 
*"Spawny! Are you alright? Yes, well... we're glad to see you, too. Oh! Ah... well, I suppose you have unleashed... ... a swath of awe-inspiring destruction across the Mushroom Kingdom... ... thanks to your reckless handling of the SuperMerge... Er... um... but as colossal disasters go, this one was... er... not so bad? Let's see here um... the positives are... um... Hmm. Yes! The Sherbet Desert was cool... plus now we all know how to spell 'sherbet' - boy was that a surprise." 
*"Before we proceed, I want to remind everyone that keep Spawny safe must our top priority. No one is to take their eyes off of Spawny for a single second! The very fate of the Mushroom Kingdom depends on us returning him home safety. I'll admit, we've had some missteps - perhaps one or two were even mine... ...but now that Spawny is with us, we can't afford to let anything stand in our way... right Spawny? Uh... Spawny? Great! You guys spooked hi. Well, don't just stand there, go get him!"
*"Excuse me?! Are you implying that this is our fault?!"
*"Sigh... well, like it or not, he has a point... That thing in the sky has been gaining power with each corruption we've set free. It's taken from now - and it has Spawny. Whatever we do, we must do it quickly, before it gains any more strength... ... or soon no force in the Mushroom Kingdom will be powerful enough to stop it."
*"We're too late, then. We should return to Princess Peach's Castle and marshal our forces!"
*"I just hope this has taught you a lesson... ...taught us all a lesson, really. We ought not to meddle with powerful forces beyond our understanding."
*"A tempting offer... Alas, we must return to Princess Peach's Castle to let everyone know that the threat to the Mushroom Kingdom has passed! If ever a single appliance in all of history has caused more trouble for more people, I'd like to hear about it! Wait a moment... 'History'! I could use this time machine to help our past selves rescue Spawny and save the Mushroom Kingdom more easily! Wait! What if I did that already?! What if 'Your Biggest Fan' was me the whole time? Pfft! Nonsense! What kind of an insecure egomaniac would lavish that much praise on themselves? Thought maybe I should forward those messages my past self just in case. Dearest Beep-O, whose bravery, intelligence and compassion stand as a beacon of hope for us all if my timing is correct, you are in dire need of help. Etc., etc. - I'll just copy the rest. Let's see, who should I put as sender's name so I don't confuse myself later - I mean 'earlier'? He he. I know! 'F.B' - for 'Future Beep-O'. Oh! Wait! I forgot the attachments! On second thought, perhaps I should leave well enough alone. One never knows what unintended consequences something like this could have. Ah, well... What could possibly go wrong?" 
===Mushroom Kingdom===
*"Everyone, pay attention! Yes, we were awesome and heroically defeated the Megabug, but we still have work to do! First, we need to explore the Mushroom Kingdom for places to use my new talent - dig! I'd start with the Lava Pit. There's not just digging to do at the Lava Pit - it seems there are a lot of corrupted Rabbids there for us to find liberate, as well! My finely turned sensors also detect increased activity at the Buddydome hidden near Peach's Castle! Anxious to get started? Good! Soo... let's-a go!
==Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope==
===Mushroom Kingdom===
*"Consider it done, my beloved Princess! We are happy to serve!"
*"With our latest adventure complete, we can now kickback and relax - safe in the knowledge that EVERYTHING is under control." 
*"DON'T panic, Rabbid Peach! We'll just stroll casually along the back of this flying creature and reach your location in no time! Uh-oh! Strike the words "casual", "stroll" and "don't panic" - we've got hostiles incoming! Mario, take cover - and don't get caught out in the open! Move from cover to cover - and remember to attack!" 
*"Rabbid Peach is written reach! Focus on getting to her now by moving to the tip of Manta's tail." 
*"Rabbid Peach! You're safe - despite the mysterious, malevolent energy sabotaging our weapons! Neutralizing our weapons? Ha! We'll simply rely on our powerful Dash move that has saved the day for us during many a battle! Using Dash, we can jar those egg-like things loose. Once they're in your possession... ...you can throw them at the creature's orb-shaped eyeball protuberances - its weak spots! The last weak point is beyond that gap. We'll need to find a way to get over it - time for some team jumping!" 
*"Our weapons have been reactivated! Time to take cover, take aim and fire at those baddies! Just beware that this dimension works quite differently than our own, you cannot move AFTER you shoot!"
*"GASP! this "Cursa" is well out of range, yet the energy readings I'm picking up from it are beyond my ability to measure!"
*"We'll take all the help we can get! Mario, be sure to see what this new ability of yours can do. Speaking of abilities... Remember that both of you have your signature Techniques at your disposal. I have a feeling you're going to need them!"
*"Hey! Hello! Remember me? The entity who created you? I'm alive too!"
*"Hehe - forgive JEANIE here for her arrogance, everyone. As the ship's new Artificial Intelligence she just became self-aware yesterday... OBVIOUSLY, I have a lot more testing to do, but seeing as how we're in an emergency situation here, I-
*"JUST what I was about to suggest to our friend here. Hmm, what do we call your kind? Aha! How about "Rabbid Lumas"?"
*"Really? Because objectively speaking I think "Rabbid Lumas" is kind of perfect - no?"
*"Please, JEANIE, adventure may be new to you, but not to US. I expect the level of difficulty of THIS mission to be... average. Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind at any point during our mission. Regardless, with the Rabbid Lumas behind us, the rocky road ahead will be made just a smoother."
*"OH, WHATEVER. What matters is - we have their help. Listen, now that Cursa knows they're with us, I bet they're with us, I bet it will never bother us again!"
===Beacon Beach===
*"But that away! We're Heroes, not unruly tourists!"
*"Well, we're all here, but this trouble in the village sounds like a "two-Hero job" - not including myself, of course. Easy as pie! Let's get it over with before my nano-diodes start to rust. Who's with me?"
*"You know, we were following a different Spark eariler...but the more the merrier!"
*"Apparently, Augie believes he is from a family of proud demi-gods. For such divine creatures must be like family photos. Unfortunately, this "regal" deception of the birth of Augie and his twin, Perfectus, is marred by Augie's chronic dyspepsia."
*"Hmm... Perhaps we could cross over it with that plank, but we'd need to raise the water level there somehow..."
*"By age ten, Augie's brother was the patron deity of effortless victories, epic love poems, and glistening six-pack abs. The only trophy Augie was a child was for second place in a bratwurst eating contest. The ocean is said to have been formed by the tears of Perfectus' hairdressers, who wept with joy while brushing his golden mane. TWO days for the dough to rise. EIGHT hours to knead, and after licking the cinnamon glaze off Augie tosses it aside. Augie's first job was to help sailors in distress. This mural is called "Sentinel of the Seas"."
*"Oh, boy. Hurry! We've got to go after that Spark of Light!"
*"JEANIE - that is far from the only reason we should save that poor creature."
*"Sigh... That's what I get for buying you an "off-the-shelf" AI empathy module to save time. I can't imagine what could cause Augie of all people to abandon a delicious cheesecake. We'd best keep on our toes." 
*"Assuming we can trust the ominous stranger, having THREE Heroes cooperating on the battlefield would give a HUGE advantage! Look! Those appear to be Darkmess portals. Destroy them, quickly! More enemies are bound to pop out soon." 
*"Excuse me, intimidating stranger, it's vitally important that the Spark came with us to the lighthouse. Until we destroy the lighthouse Tentacle, we can't create Warp Tunnels to other planets, and eventually, to Cursa."
*"Great! "Rabbid Edge!", welcome to-"
*"Speaking of help, I believe it's time we start keeping THREE Heroes on our frontline. Who'll take the first shift?"
*"In wartime, Augie was left behind to watch the livestock. It's how a flock of chickens came to briefly rule his city. His whole life Augie was eclipsed by his older brother. Which, if we're honest, couldn't have been all that difficult."
*"Sir? Are you okay? Do you need us to call someone?"
*"It was mostly about rotating the statues. The "outcast" - most appropriately - was Augie."
*"Uh... yeah, well - good luck with everything in the future. Or should I say - "the past"."
*"The last straw for Augie's parents was when Augie drove the family sun chariot into the neighbor's swimming pool during Perfectus' wedding feast. The villagers here on Beacon Beach. REALLY need to do a few background checks before hiring wardens. Wait... Doesn't that trophy look familiar?"
*"This room is AMAZING! We ought to find the decorator and have them to do our ship."
*"Clever, JEANIE - but did you know that when Rabbids design a room like this they add the reward FIRST? Let me show you."
*"Poor Spark! We WILL win your freedom! Through it may take a few attempts. That's quite a battlefield."
*"A-ha! And since the Eye of Darkmess Dimension and our world are connected, the lighthouse on Beacon Beach will light up, too!"
*"Then we will save every Spark we can find - here, and elsewhere. The Spark Hunters grievance will be with us."
*"Why, thank you, Augie! That is VERY-"
*"AMAZING!"
*"I MEANT THE SPARK!"
*"NO, NO! I MEANT THE- YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND - WE'RE JUST GONNA GO."
*"Augie is convinced he can cross-pollinate a tree with a slice of double pepperoni to hybridize a "Pizza Palm". If you had to lay eggs that size you'd be in a good mood too."
*"The Beacon Beach what now?"
*"That sounds nice, but Darkmess Puddles are AT LEAST as dangerous as swimming, right? And you should never swim alone, right?"
*"Princess - mind "tagling along"? Your skill at protecting teammates could be useful - not that you'll need it, Rabbid Mario!"
*"Augie wandered far and wide until landing in hot water for selling fake treasure maps to so called treasure.. That poor Spark is being held captive behind that barrier! Let's tear it down so we can rescue it. Not our first Bob-omb rodeo. FIRST, DASH them. Second, PICK THEM UP. Third, THROW them at the barrier. Report until desired result."
*"Once, this trophy smelled of copper-nickel alloy and victory. Now it smells like "Flamin' Hot Bacon n' Jalapeño Pork Crisps.""
===Pristine Peaks===
*"We are approaching Pristine Peaks! Nothing warms the heart and awakens the senses like its crisp, fresh snowfalls... ...and the sound of hot cocoa mugs clanking together over hearty laughter at spirited outdoor fondue parties!"
*"Well, I know I'm NOT going to add my "plus one" for their annual Radgnar Rail Riedrs Snowboard Festival!"
*"Stay put, Rabbid Luigi!"
*"Let's check them, anyhow. Maybe they know where to find one of those luxury outdoor barrel saunas I heard about."
*"Er yes yes... We can hear you just fine, so you know."
*"We saw firsthand at Beacon Beach how useful a Spark's abilities are. However-" 
*"TEE HEE! THAT TICKLES! OOH, AND I HAVE SONIC POWERS NOW! THAT BRIDGE! IF I CAN USE MY NEW SONIC POWERS TO- Sorry, that's loud. Let me try again. That bridge! If I can use my new sonic powers to knock it down, it'll be our ticket to the top of the mountain!"
*"Excellent work, everyone! It's still cold, but it's a GOOD cold, like if your grandpa was a snowman and he gave you a hug."
*"Probably another Darkness Tentacle. We should investigate - it may be that the Warden of this place is not far from there. There's a path that will take us straight down the mountain. We can use it to reach the palace JEANIE spoke of. Also, the ice melt has made some areas on this side of the mountain newly accessible, we should explore. Anyhow, with the storm over we can rest assured that the worst has passed."
*"It's a Darkness Tentacle. We've dealt with them before, Mr. um..."
*"Captain, once we're inside, you need only to follow us to find your friend! Also - just for the second - that's a "push door", not a "pull" - neither here nor there!"
*"Here's the master navigator, er... holding his map upside down while trying to find a rest stop with a bathroom. Orion made a during escape from Cursa, yet even at risk of capture he made sure to pay his harbor fees beforehand. Ah! This must be the ballroom. Imagine all of the lively waltzes, polkas, and fox-trots that took place here!"
*"Of course, no ballroom is complete without an elaborate locking mechanism to the upper floor, like so. Does often locked themselves between behind doors like these, so ballroom architects devised ways to unlock them using switches. There are two other doors as well! Let's find out where they lead - maybe we'll find a book on ballroom etiquette!" 
*"Orion faced a Comet-Eater and lived but ask to hear the story and all you get is grumbling about fuel costs and wholesome prices of celestial fish. Orion ran out of fuel and called his insurance company for "deep space gondola assistance". That stuff pays for itself!"
*"Orion paid for fuel and a variety of extremely unhealthy snacks with loose change. The cashier ignored him. Orion was so destitute at one point that he used an old boot as bait in hopes a neutrino would fancy using it as a nest. GROSS! Looks like a cross between an angry nebula shark and an extremely irritated blob lobster. I'll admit, I'm stumped. Orion obeys the celestial angler's code-give old whenever needed. Though it looks like his first aid certification is a little rusty."
*"Friends? Friends how?"
*""Darkmess Tentacle". I'm pretty sure we mentioned it before."
*"Captain Orion struggles at map reading, having always considered them on "extravagant luxury" meant for the idle rich. Orion and his mystery co-pilot ran out of fuel AGAIN and were forced to crash-land here. That's what happens when you put only two coins worth of fuel into your ship at a time."
*"Rosalina? Ah, of course - I can see you're a fan. The likeness is er... uncanny. You know, WE'RE on our way to find her, too. We could use someone with your er... "enthuiasm"? You get what I mean."
*"It's one of those new "snow globe-houses" designed so that if there's an earthquake, they just look even prettier."
*"The Pristine Peaks what now?"
*"An analysis of the Darkmess Puddle, reveals that it will take the skills of a long-range specialist to overcome."
*"FIRST to volunteer! LUIGI representin'! That's my BOY!"
*"There! You see? Mario - the original! ALWAYS has his brother's back! Woop! Woop!"
*"This scientist was obviously driven mad after too much time alone. We ought to try and help."
*"That Darkmess Barrier is made of highly concentrated Darkmess energy! I believe it can only be damaged using Bob-ombs. The Stone Mask! That switch will activate it, creating gusts of wind that will propel the Bob-ombs against the barrier! It appears our "mad scientist" wasn't so paranoid after all. The Darkmess Puddle DID indeed sabotage his lab."
*"We understand. Honestly. It's a relief to-"
*"THREE DAYS! That's it? You'd best come with us before he defrosts that thing or does something equally as horrible."
===Palette Prime===
*"We are approach to Palette Prime. Known for the warm orange and yellow foliage of its woodlands, its ambrosial pumpkin spice... ...and uplifting poetry! I've been wanting to visit for ages."
*"Why JEANIE - was that a JOKE?"
*"JEANIE! What kind of approach was that! Did you optimize your landing protocols? Or did Rabbid Luigi spill chili on the orbiter controls again?"
*"How did you get all THAT from a few lines of really depressing poetry?"
*"A forest befouled by Darkmess? A village cut off and under siege? Sigh... We're not going to have time to go to an apple pressing while we're here, are we?"
*"Whoa! Okay, thank you, we get it. No need for sally language."
*"The Tentacle that's draining the woods! And it's in a - gulp - deep, dark scary pit. That's new..."
*"Those Darkness Taproots - if we destroy all three of them, color will be restored to the Spellbound Woods! Be warned - destroying the Taproots will also destroy strategic cover, leaving us more exposed on the battlefield."
*"Our path to the village plaza is blocked by a chasm! How is this a convenient shortcut? Can anyone shed some light on that for me?"
*"TWINKLE?! But I thought we left you on Beacon Beach?"
*"I CAN SEEEE THE LIIIIIGHT! And other things as well, I think - all thanks to Twinkle. Suddenly, crossing that chasm doesn't seem like such a shot in the dark after all!"
*"Bowser's no friend of ours either. Does A LOT of kidnapping of Princess Peach. Still... we can't leave him to the Darkmess, can we? For all his strength, even the mighty Bowser is helpless in the Darkmess dimension without a Spark-powered weapon!"
*"I've got it. Bedrock is too strong for our attacks to cause much damage. Try luring her onto those explosive traps, first!"
*"Sigh... Never mind all that. What are you DOING here, Bowser?"
*"That's up from...?"
*"Absolutely not! I don't care what the odds are, right Mario?"
*"Sweetlopek. Area behind our spaceship's landing zone. Have him fix bridge. Got it. Are you Sweetlopek, the lumberjack?"
*"Er... that sounds nice, but Woodrow, the warden, sent us to have you repair the bridge."
*"Let me handle this - interrogations require a delicate touch... COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP, PERP! WE'RE JUST HERE FOR THE AXE - BUT WE'LL DO THIS "THE HARD WAY" IF WE HAVE TO!"
*"Um... could you be a little more specific? Your house looks like pumpkin central, if you know what I mean."
*"Psst! Everyone play it cool and follow my lead. Time to go DEEP undercover. Hello, we're with Palette Prime Pest Solutions. We need to spray your home for uh... hippopotamus."
*"Alright, fine! We're not exterminators! We're special investigators with the Lumberjack Crimes Bureau."
*"Looks like "The Songbird" has "flown the coop". Thankfully, he left behind a note for anyone who happened by."
*"Ahem! "Had to run to the shop today instead of keeping an eye on things. Bumped into my neighbor, "The Fork." "HE said he saw someone run through the village with an AXE while I was gone! Of all the days to run out of pumpkin deodorant!" Well, apprently, The Songbird's neigbhor, "The Fork", can tell us EXACTLY who stole the lumberjack's axe. Also, according to this, the town candlemaker took a loan to get hair transplants! His wife is furious!
*"After Woodrow read his next poem, a luxury space cruiser crashed into a satellite! Debris fell from the sky for quite a while. Rabbids would be having some picnic and then BAM! Down would come a crystal hot tub or gold badminton cabinet. A young Woodrow is reciting his first poem just before The Great Tree Blight of Palette Prime strikes. It took 500 leaf blowers to tidy up afterwards. Residents were fined a million coins due to the noise violations! Woodrow's peom - The Strange and Conflicting Feelings of the Crofter's Cheesemonger preceded an alien invasion! The entire planet was forced to harvest thousands of pounds of pumpkin spice in exchange for the freedom. Horrible. Looks like "The Fork" is "out to lunch". Thankfully, he left a note behind should anyone visit while he's gone."
*"Ahem! "I'm sick and tired of my neighbors boasting about their pitchforks..." "...the balance, the time shape, the SHARPNESS. I've had enough - I'll show them all." "If there is any truth behind the legend of the Magic Whestone, I plan to find out, and I won't be back until I do." "The Sharpening Fairy WILL rise from the RIVER to give me what I seek 0 revenge against pretty pitchforks pedants!" Hoo, boy. Hopefully, The Fork won't have to testify. A defense attorney could make a good case for a competency hearing."
*"Beep-O - head of the investigate Task Force for codename TIIIMBER. I'd like to ask you a few questions."
*"Look, WE need intel from you. YOU have a weird fixation about how sharp your fork is. Why not work together?"
*"Leave it to us - we'll perform a grid search! Put out a BOLO! Get a sketch artist!"
*"Er... we're going to pretend we didn't hear that. Now, quid pro quo - start naming names!"
*""Him" who?"
*"Followed WHO?
*"OUT WITH IT, MAN! WHO?!?"
*"Wait - which Pumpkin House?"
*"I KNEW IT! It's ALWAYS the first suspect you question that turns out to be the culprit - TV always gets it right."
*"Alright, open up and give us the axe! And no hooey about "lawyering up" - we have an EYEWITNESS!"
*"Our witness is willing to testify against you IN COURT! What do you have to say about... ...the way the Dryad made you, her patsy?"
*"Looks like our suspect's life of wanton disregard has finally caught up to him. Thief or not, we've got to help him! Or do we? I mean, what exactly is our obligation here? We haven't even been deputized."
*"Sigh... We better get a commendation for this - or at least appear on an episode of Real Crime Files: Palette Prime. The axe! Right in the middle of a Darkmess Puddle, too!"
*"We'll deal with you, later."
*"Woodrow gave it his all with his poem I AM No Herald Of III. For once, nothing seemed to go wrong afterwards... ...until an "Intradimensional Doomstorm" measuring 9,5 on the "terror scale" arrived! I thought those were a myth!"
*"Have you tried talking things out with the Dryad? Surely there's SOME compromise to be had?"
*"Don't do anything rash! As soon as we take the thief here to jail and testify in court, we'll come find you!"
*"WHAT?! Oh, forget it! Let's find some pumpkin spice donuts and make JEANIE handle all the paperwork for us. Case closed!"
*"Something large let loose from a storm above the planet. Woodrow couldn't get out of the way because he was wearing stilts! By the way, I knew he wasn't naturally tall. I thought he had lifts in his shoes. A steamship landed on Woodrow, squashing him flat as a pancake! It happened during dinner - most passengers didn't even get a turn at the cheese trolley beforehand! Woodrow was crushed by a falling cruise ship, then struck by lightning. After THAT a rain cloud became his permanent halo, forever influencing his outlook and ensuring he'd be a bummer at parties. Sorry - BIGGER bummer."
*"That's not much to go on. Oh, well! We tried!"
*"I know, JEANIE. I was trying to avoid getting sucked in to someone else's problems again. Come on, read the room would you."
*"Well, thankfully NOTHING'S invisible to me. Now, let's go find those seeds!"
*"Well, we're just glad to see everything turned out for the best. Now, if you'll excuse us, we-"
*"Really? Wow, that's unexpected."
*"NO! Forests have lots of powdery mildews. SOB! One must have c-c-corroded a circuit!"
*"We're not here for the pie, Rabbid Luigi! Thankfully, Bowser's itching for a fight, too. At least HE'LL take it seriously. Though... Rabbid Luigi - if there ARE any salted honeycrisp fitters in there, please bring some back?"
*"I wouldn't feel too bad for the "farmer". He keeps trying to plant candy corn."
*"The Palette Prime what now?"
*"Each time Woodrow read a poem, tragedy would strike. Residents of Palette Prime naturally blamed him. They would forbid him to write poetry again, citing billions in property damage and "his use of cliched metaphors." Residents held a poetry slam contest to find a new poet laurate, as Woodrow's poems were always followed by tragedy. Woodrow entered the contest wearing a disguise to prove it wasn't his poetry that courted disaster, but bad luck... 1,142 cases of bad luck." 
*"All this amazing technology and what do the Rabbids on this planet use for? To binge-watch Bigfoot Bridezillas." 
*"My analysis reveals that there are a large number of enemies lurking beyond this Darkmess Puddle. The battle ahead will require ENDURANCE. Princess Peach's safeguarding of squad mates is the key to victory."
*"And-and- Rabbid Peach's healing talents, of course! I was just about to bring it up... honest I was."
===Terra Flora===
*"We're approaching Terra Flora. Home to naturally sparkling mineral water springs, perennial flower parties - not to mention Everblossom Tree! Surely, JEANIE, even YOU can't spoil my enthusiasm for visiting the garden of the galaxy."
*"Edge. You... you must know a way."
*"You know Bedrock. You know Midnite. There is something you are choosing not to tell us - isn't there?"
*"Er... about those flower prairies. It looks like we are going to see them in person! Er... Prepare for landing?"
*"Her name is JEANIE - our ship's artificially intelligent pilot and systems manager, and I am-"
*"Having the "dining car" run out of cucumber canapes is a "trifling problem". THAT is a Darkmess Tentacle."
*"I like Terra Flora's chances at the Planet-Shaped Cheeseball Cup. They signed some good crumble-whackers in the off-season.
*"Gasp! It must be the spirit of the Everbloom Tree itself!"
*"We mean you no harm! In fact, we can help restore your majestic Everbloom to its natural efflorescing state!"
*"Yes, of course, oh Great Spirit of the Everbloom. Thank you! You won't regret!"
*"Bea's first solo album was cooperate-produced teen pop drivel. I mean, really, who listens to that rubbish?"
*"Bea fired her manager and made an experimental album, done entirely underwater! Critics dared to call it an "artistic temper tantrum appealing only to pseudo-intellectual snobs". Honestly - I loved it! Bea is a survivor! With her singing career over, she retired to Terra Flora and began a new life as an organic farmer. Thankfully, we have lots of great albums to remember Bea's beautiful voice... just not this one. Here she sounds like a rusty chainsaw."
*"Bea made this album during her punk-pop phase after a whirlwind relationship with The Phantom. Silly Celebrity nonsense, really. I can't believe he dumped her at the Galaxy Music Awards! By text! DURING her acceptance speech! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM!"
*"A wiser, more mature Bea grew into her own with this album, which critics called "soulful" and "masterfully crafted". It sold only three hundred copies and effectively ended her career."
*"YOU'RE the "Great Spirit of the Everbloom"?!"
*"If you're the warden you must know where we can find the Darkmess that infiltrated Terra Flora."
*"Brrr! Sonic powers upgraded! I see why you call him "Drizzle". He's certainly made a "splash" with me! Ha!"
*"The Great Kowalczynski! No one combined their love of music and bouncing uncontrollably to great heights more effectively. Sniff! He's in Coin Heaven, now."
*"Yes, yes. That's great, but we can focus on the Darkmess Tentacle on the tracks instead of your shock absorbers, please?"
*""Thanks to the antioxidants in Bea's Superior Infusion, 'Bea' stopped an undersea volcano from erupting with her bare hands"? They're making a movie-of-the-week about it, too! Talk about product placement."
*"JEANIE, I'm glad you're learning to express obstruct ideas, but we're in no mood for more metaphors right now."
*"That would be necessary - I hope - but there is ONE thing. Could you recommend a reliable mechanic?"
*"It's the Phantom's Gold Gramophone Award for Vest Opera Album - A Thousand Hours of Mario Falling into Lava."
*"Wait! I'm getting a transmission via Madame Bwahstrella's fourth personal assistant! "You are all dooomed unless you eliminate the Darkmess Puddle near my location on Terra Flora." Dooomed, doomed. More doomed... There's a lot here about how doomed we are various reasons, but you get the point."
*"Seriously, Rabbid Mario? No matter how hard you try, your chances there are 'doooomed'."
*"It's a mobile advert for "Terra Flora's Superior Infusion", the "top-selling negatively cleanser and wealth manifestation" tea. I'm pretty sure it's the ONLY tea sold on Terra Flora, but still, I hear it removes the subconscious mental blocks that cause baldness! An analysis of this Darkmess Puddle reveals a LOT of frantic activity within."
*"Hey, your infectious lethargy makes you an ideal candidate to calm the enemy down a little, no?"
*"Allow us to help then. We'll visit each thorn at its source and remove them one by one. It's the least we can do."
*"The warden here, Bea, promotes her modern lifestyle brand using er... "highly exaggerated" claims as their benefits. Such as winning All-Galaxy Wrestling's "Clash of the Cosmos" Battle Royal, thanks to her Detoxifying Honey Scrub Skin Toner. Darkmess Puddle on the tracks! If this were a spaceship, we'd fly over it - just saying!"
*"I'll bet they gave each other cool nicknames too - like "Boxcar Beep-O", or "Ramblin' Rabbid Luigi". Ha! Good times."
*"The Terra Flora what now?"
*"Er... Why don't you come with us - at least until cool down a little?"
===Barrendale Mesa===
*"We are approaching Barrendale Mesa, once known as a cradle of abundance throughout the galaxy. That was until the Rabbids here stripped it of its natural resources and abandoned it to repeat their mistakes elsewhere."
*"Well, we didn't see any Spark Hunters on Terra Flora. Perhaps they've given up! Er... Wait a second. Did you say "the most DEVIOUS of the Spark Hunters"?"
*"We have to jump. Thankfully, we are just a few meters off the ground."
*"Well, there you go - JEANIE has clearly lost it. Follow me, everyone! Remember, feet and knees together when landing."
*"It's okay!! We are O-KAY!"
*"Sorry! That was a miscalculation by our ship's A.I. - we are here on an urgent mission."
*"You are Momma, correct? Warden and master mechanic? If our ship is not outfitted with the technology to penetrate the shields around Cursa's stronghold, our mission is sunk."
*"It's one of our ship's Teleport Probes! Look, there's a note from JEANIE, too... "Beep-O, though we cannot communicate directly due to the storm, this probe can teleport everyone to the ship at any time... "...OR if you still think the ship is only a few meters off the ground, feel free... to... jump up.""
*"Fascinating - this is the first of several murals that tell the story of Momma, famed mechanic, and the warden here. It all started when the wild and free Momma made a pit stop here for some beef jerky during a ten percent, cross-galaxy road trip. Momma wasn't looking for trouble, but when she saw Rabbids being threatened by a mechanical monster, she came to their rescue! The Rabbids here had actually invented the ruinous robot, along with other monstrosities that tore the planet apart!" 
*"That Windmill supplies power to Momma's garage. It's obviously functioning abnormally. The overabundance electricity generated here must be the course of this freak storm. Time for a little... "mill milk"." 
*"Momma felt a kinship with the Rabbids here who were living life "wild and free", like a solar-powered car without brakes. Yet this freedom was costly - their recklessness reduced the once-bountiful planet into a desert. Could they have it both ways? Momma stuck around to show the Rabbids how to make their ingenuity work FOR them, versus against them. They were fascinated - the thought of NOT fleeing in terror from their own creations had somehow never occurred to them." 
*"Although born with "itchy feet for the open road", Momma fell in love with this place, and made to a decision. She used her entire life savings to open a garage and jerky hut, with help from her new "thrill-seeking sidekicks". It wasn't easy, but Momma taught the Rabbids here how to be responsible in mechanism engineering, robotics, and jerky- making. The Rabbids began to model themselves after her. It was then that they gave her the nickname "Momma". Sniff!"
*"Momma began a new life here, but there was a problem - without a way to fuel her new power grid, they couldn't rebuild. There was only ONE alternative - the battery that was fueling the wild and wicked mechanical marauder, who was tearing up the planet just for kicks!"
*"Um... I'm not sure-"
*"Great. Er... can we talk about my radio handle? I- It worked! And no one got electrocuted. That might be a first for us!"
*"Momma had "civilized" the once savage Rabbids here, but now she seemed them to go back to living like these was no tomorrow! They pooled everything they owned, used every ounce of ill- advised ingenuity to build... MECHA MOMMA! Momma and the Rabbids busted up the mechanical mischief-maker and used its power source to fuel their new power grid. Momma and the Rabbids then hit full throttle to transform Barrendale Mesa into a freedom-loving galaxy rider's paradise."
*"The efforts to rebuild here were cut short by the arrival of the nastiest ne'er-do-wells in the known galaxy - Cursa's army! Knowing the other, more populated planets were likely also in danger, Momma knew they had to act! But how?"
*"This job site has "proudly worked over TWELVE MINUTES without accident or injury" - that's a Rabbid record! Having so many Rabbids leave Barrendale Mesa to help fight against Cursa's minions meant rebuilding slowed to a trickle. But if Cursa taught it could stop the rebuild entirely, then it wasn't counting on Momma and her Rabbids!"
*""Concerned"? Why JEANIE, if I didn't know better, I'd say you are downright panicked on our behalf. Are you broadening your emotional range?"
*"Obviously, my keen leadership abilities and decisive work in the field has considerably brightened Momma's outlook. Though I agree that pimento cheese sandwiches are an odd choice given the warm weather."
*"Look! Whoever that is took the REAL Momma prisoner! I told you that last transmission sounded fishy!"
*"CURSA. That THING is Cursa - and yes, Rosalina is firmly under its control. This is NOT her doing, Rabbid Rosalina."
*"Sure, solar cars are great, but what if you're in the middle of an importantly rag race and there's an eclipse? No thank you!"
*"The Barrendale Mesa what now?"
*"Pardon me, are you-"
*"Er... I was going to ask, "Are you okay?" Nonetheless, Mr. Gersoard, you can count on us to rescue your friends!"
*"You couldn't have known you'd find something like that here. I mean - it's called the "Danger Zone", but still..."
*"They'll be in good hands, Gerspard - overpriced art supplies, overcrowded museums, snotty gallery openings - you name it!"
*"Rabbid scientists have been collecting data on how gravitational forces effect bobblehead physics for YEARS. THEY'RE JUST DOLLS WITH SPRING INSIDE! USE YOUR FUNDING FOR SOMETHING ELSE!!" 
*"Wait a movement - something's different about this Darkmess Puddle. Analyzing now... We're going to need a different approach - to undo this one on enormous power of destruction will be necessary."
*"Hmm, Bowser? Here's someone who knows all about fighting. Perhaps he takes it a bit too seriously though..."
*"Er... Why don't we send in Luigi as well? Just to make sure things don't get too out of hand."
*"My analysis reveals that this Darkmess Puddle is EXTREMELY formidable! Why don't we skip this one? After all, we don't have to remove EVERY Darkmess Puddle, do we?"
*"Ah! GREAT fighters! And you complement each other well, too! If anyone can defeat THIS Darkmess Puddle, it's you two."
===Melodic Gardens===
*"(Sighs) Jeanie, would you please find the open channel broadcast for the Melodic Gardens? Our flight path to Cursa's stronghold should take us close enough to hear the planet's biophones - the "songs" of the natural world! They are the perfect balm for jangled nerves after our harrowing adventures on Barrendale Mesa! On a positive note, however, Barrendale Mesa DID give us the opportunity to decisively defeat the last of the Spark Hunters!"
*"B-but that's impossible! The entire planet is a living symphony. Er... useless it's going through a minimalist phase."
*"Jeanie! Change course to the Melodic Gardens at once!"
*"We'll get there as soon as possible Rabbid Rosalina. I promise! But if we don't save the Melodic Gardens first, we may be walking into the lion's den with a viper at our heels!"
*"Nothing will be normal here until we rid the Melodic Gardens of Darkmess. Rest assured it will be difficult. How difficult? Of course, this level of difficulty could change at ANY POINT during our mission - but that's nothing new for is, is it? Now, let's hurry, before we attract any unwanted attention."
*"Be on guard! If my analysis is correct, we will soon see a new and terrible foe hatch from those shell-like chrysalises. Once defeated, they will return to their egg state and emerge rejuvenated - UNLESS you Dash them while they're in the egg. A dangerous enemy indeed - I strongly suggest having a closer look at them using the Tacticum. Since we are close to the source, open your ears to the BIOPHONY - the most emotionally uplifting eco-music in the Galaxy! I wouldn't have thought ANYTHING could completely silence the Melodic Gardens - even Darkmess."
*"Jeanie! Real music cannot be reduced to mere mathematics! Why, the two have as much in common as an octave to an octopus."
*"Enough, Jeanie! A replica of a Violet-Crested Swingback Funkbird. The pecking sound they make is a grit-your-teeth THUNDEROUS bass line. I love it!" 
*"Analysis reveals that this Darkmess Puddle needs practically formidable fighters to cleanse it - more so than usual, then."
*"Er... And Bowser, let's send you in as well! It'd be good for you to get a little havoc out of your system." 
*"This is the Concert Pond - I recognize it from the many pictures I've seen. It is - or was - the very heart of the planet."
*"That must be the Melodic Gardens' award-winning musicians trapped inside! Hurry!"
*"We've never seen that before, either. Better use the Tacticam to find out more about this new foe."
*"Perhaps it's YOU should beg off - not ONE of Cursa's Spark Hunters has proven capable of stopping us yet!"
*"Given how hotheaded she is, I doubt we've seen the last of her. We must find Allegra, immediately! She - and her friend - are in still grave danger."
*"Hmm... this looks to be the first of several artworks depicting some of the history of the Melodic Gardens. Ahem! "Some down songs ago, when the moon shone bright, a silver star fell upon the Melodic Gardens. We wondered if it had to come to lead us to the Last Melody."?"
*"It must be Allegra and a very large friend... or I suppose, Allegra and a very tiny friend. Let's just hope they're unharmed. Hmm... There are no traditional locks on this door."
*"Yes, yes. Again, PLEASE try to separate your love of math from music while we're here? Sigh, I never thought I'd long for days when we traipsed around looking for keys. Ah, well! Let's find this Sweeping Tree and see if we can find out why the Melospheres stopped interacting with it."
*"Sir, we are HEROES. To expend effort extracting some treasure from it's hidey hole would be vulgar and unethical... ...buuuut if someone ASKS for our help to recover treasure - well, that's a bird of a different feather!"
*""The stranger, Allegra, had become one with the Melodic Gardens, and the biophony was reborn! 'Perhaps she will lead us to the Lost Melody, after all, 'we said.""
*"QUICK! LET'S HURRY BACK BEFORE IT'S STOLEN BY MUTIONIOUS BACCANEERS! Er... um... just think how disappointed our new Spark friend would be if THAT happened."
*"YES! The chest is unlocked! Let's open it so we can roll around in gold doubloons and drape ourselves with pearls!"
*"No, no. This is my fault. I brought this on myself. Oh, no! This battlefield is cursed! Must be a pirate thing. While DIRECT ATTCAKS with weapons are prohibited, our Techniques, Movement abilities, and Spark Powers ARE available! Well, we may release a Darkmess Puddle into an area of Melodic Gardens that was otherwise out of harm's way... ...but AT LEAST we got... er - THIS? Oh, what a letdown. These are everywhere."
*"My friend, you are a pleasant reminder that it's not about glory and riches, but the friendships we make along the way. Permission to come aboard granted, MATEY!" 
*"A stranger had come to Melodic Gardens, drawn by our wildsongs as so many had before her." "Show this stranger nothing of these secrets," we said. 'She will destroy our wildsongs, and the Lost Melody will stay hidden forever!""
*""We watched with wonder as the stranger did not pry Lyre Trees and Clap Mouths from the soil but coaxed strange and new songs from them." "This music is stiff, as if made from instruments of dreadwood,' we said, but soon the strange made our garden sing and thrum and beat as one." "She is here to disrupt the melody of our gardens!' we said. 'Watch! She will uproot the Drum Pods and Shake Plants and steal them away to her planet!" "And so, we watched. We watched, and also we listened." 
*"Ugh! AS if the Phantom's tone-deaf, head-splitting WARBLING belongs anywhere NEAR this hallowed musical ground! Thankfully, after his SOUND defeat at our hands, we can confidently say we will NEVER encounter the REAL THING again! EVER, EVER, EVER again! Ever..."
*"Not to boast, Professor Backpack, but since you last saw us, we became boat owners. Leave the clue-finding to us!" 
*"Allegra came to the Pond to conduct her biophony, and so we joined her. The music was loud and traveled far, and the Pond trembled as a Wonderous Beast rose from the water!"??"
*"Kanya's drafting table. The birthplace of how many unspeakable monstrosities I dare not guess. She doesn't sit on an exercise ball, that means she probably has lower back discomfort... GOOD."
*"I don't care if its special ability is competitive duck hearing! We WILL save that Spark."
*"See those Darkmess blobs? Kanya is using them to protect some ground buttons. We must destroy ALL the blobs - only Bob-ombs will do, unfortunately; then activate the ground buttons to free the Spark!"
*"No living thing should ever have to act as a battery against their wishes. The idea is repugnant. Regardless, you're safe with us! We'll just need you to lend us your powers. Deal?" 
*"It's a clue to the Riddle of the Melodic Gardens! Oh, I just KNEW owning our own boat would pay off! Remember the position of the block depicted here - we'll need to reproduce it with its real-life counterpart." 
*"Another clue to the Riddle of the Melodic Gardens! Professor Backpack will be beside himself with glee. Someone takes a mental picture of the block's position here - we'll need to reproduce it with the real thing."
*""Chock-a-block mind", "clear your head" - Oh! I get it now! You know, it's a LOT like what being on the water does for me-"
*""Hearing Allegra's biophony, the beast awake from its slumber. With great joy it breathed water on the Melodic Gardens, and the Lost Melody was heard once more!"?" 
*"HEY. Okay, who called it? Who said "Darkmess Puddle"?"
*"Sigh! It's always SOMETHING, isn't it? Never easy. Alright, let's go! Oversized oven timers became a MAJOR status symbol for a time. Even I got swept up in it. No one remembers exactly how it started or why. Frankly, we're all a little embarrassed by it." 
*"Allegra's set herself free using the melody of our gardens, and in doing so, set us free. She is the MELODIST, and she will guide her biophonies with the Wonderous Beast at her side"? 
*"Some down songs ago, when the moon shine not as bright, a dark star fell upon our gardens and the Wonderous Beast disappeared. Many wondered if our wildsongs would soon disappear with it - and if our Melodic Gardens would become silent forever." 
*"Those poor Melospheres! They won't be safe until we rescue them and bring them to their nest at the center of the battlefield. You'll have to carry them - but be careful! They're fragile and easily frightened - protect them from attacks at all costs!" 
*"Hurry! Allegra and her friend can ill afford to wait another moment!"
*" Er... That's quite alright. We'll take your word for it."
*"Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Let's think this through - we MUST save that Dorrie, that's our primary objective... ...but there's no use fighting the Mecha King Bob-omb for the time being, it's invulnerable, even to its own Bob-ombs! But how to clear a path to that Dorrie when there are Darkmess Blobs sitting on the ground buttons we need to activate? Aha! We'll use the Bob-ombs to destroy the Darkmess Blobs, then activate the ground buttons to after the terrain! We'll need to choose the path we create carefully - different enemies await us with each approach. To the Tacticam!" 
*"The tide has turned - I hope. Allegra is with us! See that sound amplification antenna inside the cage? If we destroy the Blobs covering the cage's ground buttons so we can activate them, we can free the antenna! After that, it will up to Allegra and the Dorrie to use it to get us past the Mecha Kin Bob-omb's shield!"
*"And is our duty. Besides, if Kanya had been left to her own devices, who knows how powerful she would have become? To take on her and Cursa at the same time might have been too much, even for us."
*"Jeanie! I apologize, Allegra. Jeanie has understands little about the artistic process, much less the emotions involved."
*"Well... I don't know about that, but I DO know that I've been dying to hear a biophony ever since we left Barrendale Mesa."
===Cursa's Stronghold===
*"Well said! Wow - REALLY getting good at the emotion business."
*"It wasn't enough to take control of Rosalina, it had to ruin her home?! A symbol of hope for all the galaxy?!"
*"Well! Perhaps our ship can't get any closer to the Comet Observatory, but WE can. See those cannons? We need to get to the larger one - and from there, we can get to Rosalina."
*"Oh, yeah? Well, we just shattered Cursa's sense of invulnerability like a priceless heirloom on moving day... ...so I guess we are pretty dangerous, too. 
*"What. Is. HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!"
*" That's right! The Megabug assumed control of Bowser, treating him like a mindless puppet... ...but it was all for nothing. We beat him soundly - in front of Bowser Jr., no less. Remember, Bowser? Gulp! We won't be able to stop Bowser from leading this attack. Er... We'll need THREE for back up."
*"JEANIE? What's going on?"
*"Nothing's going to stop Edge from leading the charge. We'll need THREE to watch her back... and perhaps ours as well." 
*"Edge?"
*"No, we don't... We have a HUNDRED reasons."
*"We've hidden a Darkmess Manta, a spaceship, a steam train, and now, finally, a cannon takes us to our final destination - CURSA. Is everyone ready for takeoff? I saw that Merchanbot here somewhere - boy, talk about market presence."
*"Cursa itself is too far to reach, but its astral arm is not. Focus on that. Er... as well as not getting hit."
*"The power it generates is nearly incalculable! It MUST be powered by the Sparks that Cursa captured and exploited! Those Sparks can still be saved! Set them free by hitting the star! Without their power, Cursa WILL weaken!"
*"We're scared, too, JEANIE. It's as normal and as natural as emotions come. Try to focus on the task at hand."
*"But we didn't save the Sparks, Rosalina. We tried. We tried SO hard."
*"So, JEANIE. How do you FEEL about your first adventure as an honorary HERO?"
*"JEANIE, I thought you had adapted - learned to engage with emotional experience."
*"Is that so? Well, perhaps my mentoring hasn't been in vain after all... I'm proud of you, JEANIE."
===The Tower of Doooom===
*"Fear not, Spawny! We'll have you free from this accursed - not to mention VERY unsafe - the tower of Bwahstrella's in no time! Er... "No time", is of course, a turn of phrase, NOT to be taken literally. Nonetheless! Hang on, Spawny - we're coming!"
===Rayman in the Phantom Show===
*"If I may, while I understand your reaction, rest assured these are NOT run-of-the-mill Rabbids, these are Heroes."
*"Mr. "Egads", eh? What is that - short for "Eggplant"? Well, Mr. Eggplant, I suggest we get acquainted later... It's time to team up! Mr. Eggplant, you'll be coordinating efforts with Rabbid Peach and Rabbid Mario. Either of them will tell you - my Tachticam in INVALUABLE, providing keep insight as to the battlefield AND our foes! As far as Sparks, why not see what our two most recent additions can do? Selfie, Cryoquake - strap on your skates!"
*"Rayman! Of COURSE we've heard of you! Rayman - would you excuse us for a moment? Psst! I have no idea who this "Mr. Rayman Eggplant" is, but he is a formidable fighter. I say let's follow him to be a hanger-on for now, at least until we find a producer to sort all this out."
*"Beep-O - lead hero and Chief Tactical Officer. The Space Opera Network sent us gold tickets for its "VIP warp portal"."
*"You're new to show business. Behind the camera lies the gritty reality. The glamor of a theater in inversely proportional to the shabbiness of its backstage - it's practically tradition!"
*"(Gasps) THE PHANTOM! He must have brought us here to get revenge for HUMILATING him at Spooky Trails!"
*"Wait - are we REALLY going to trust the PHANTOM? He DID try to destroy us - in a REALLY insulting way, too."
*"You know - I've always said you can't go through life holding grudges."
*"A quiz show? I'm sorry but we're in a hurry."
*"You have my full undivided attention."
*"Wait, wait, wait! "Agents of Darkmess" have infested what no?"
*"Good improv, Rabbid Mario!"
*"This isn't a fish chuckling contest is it? I'm not sure we want EVERYONE seeing us do one of those."
*"Actually, no."
*"A cursory analysis this Darkmess Puddle reveals that skill and finesse will be more valuable than brawn. Rayman, why don't you take Rabbid Peach with you? You'll find her healing ability invaluable - perhaps even... romantic?"
*"I wrote a screenplay for a rom-com starring you two. I'm hoping Space Opera Network execs see the battle and option it."
*"Isn't this great? Why can't EVERY adventure end with a nice party instead of something scary and dangerous?"
*"A quick study of this Darkmess Puddle tells me that melee combat will give us an edge. Rayman, Rabbid Mario - while you're fighting styles are quite different, you're both good at punching things..."
*"Ooh! If you get a chance, bump fists and shout "Punch Pals!", I want to shop a series to network."
*"I'm confused. Are these lines?"
*"$%$#&@! I HATE show business!"
*"Once again, you may have fooled the others, but not me! Underneath all the glitz and glamour, you're the same Phantom! Same ego, same limited vocal range, same TACTICS! Well, if you can cling to tried old clichés, so can I! For example, do you remember this time little quote of mine from our first adventure? "My sensors indicate that the Phantom is immune to attack when is hogging the spotlight!" "If this greedy songbird is to sing his swan song, we must find a way to turn off those lights!" Well, I mean by... dashing them, as it turned out."
*"Uh-oh. He's got the fire in his eyes - that means Burn-based attacks! I sense that's not the only trick up his sleeve - keep the Tacticam handy as you dash more of those lights!"
*""THE BORE"? Why that overstuffed diva! He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket! Look - he's doing a retro thing with that dated outfit of his. That can only mean we're close - one last push! The lights activate in groups. We have to dash ALL of them before we can move on and dash the next group! Come on, we'll get the air out of that windbag yet!" 
*"Thank GOODNESS that's over. Had any more Rabbids turned in to watch, the Phantom might have become unstoppable! And look! There's a warp portal! It's fully functioning too - no surprise. To think - he ACTUALLY thought he had me fooled me entire time. Can you imagine? Ha!"
*"Why Rabbid Peach! That's very... "evolved" of you. I-"
*"Er, what Rabbid Peach means to say is - making the galaxy a better place for everyone is its own reward. Farewell, Mr. Eggplant. We'll NEVER forget you. If you need ANYTHING, just shout and we'll be there - that's a promise."
*"Is this a taping of the Galactic Wrestling Alliance? What's next? Steel cage? Elimination chamber? Ring of fire? Rabbid Mario - get some ladders and folding chairs!"
*"Sigh... Let's go see what's the matter. Maybe it's not too late to film a tag-team tornado ladder match."
*"It sounds dangerous, buuuut the Spit-Bucket Boy franchise DOES have a lot of fans. Okay, let's do it!"
Category:Character quotes