Mr. Spankey

We've all heard of Gaydolph and his shiny arse
And we all know Frosty whose made out of gay-ice
But all of those stories seem kind of... gay
Cuz we all know who brightens up our holiday
Mr. Spankey the Christmas Poo
Small and gold he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him between your festive buns
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "howdy ho"
He's seen the love inside of you
Coz he's a piece of poo
Sometimes he's diamond
Sometimes he's golden
He can be emerald or ruby-red (Mmm Mmm)
But if you eat gay dust on Christmas eve he might come to your town
Mr. Spankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me I love you
Therefore vicariously he loves you
I can make a Mr Spankey too!
(fart noise)
Bill
Well Julian where is he?
Julian
He's comin'
Bill
C'mon push!
Julian
Im trying!
Bill
Oh wait wait I can see his head!
Julian
HERE HE COMES!!
(fart noise)
Mr. Spankey
HOWDY HO!
I'm Mr. Spankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons greetings to all of you
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
Howdey ho ho yum yum yum
Christmas time has come!
Sometimes he's shiny
Sometimes he's glitter
Sometimes he's practically solid
Sometime he hangs off the end of your arse
and won't fall in the toilet
coz he's just clinging to your sphincter
and he wont drop off and so you
shake your arse around and try to get it to drop in the toilet
and finally it does
Mr. Spankey the Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves he must leave too
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell, spirit and glitter lingers on....
Howdy ho!