The Perfect Smoothie

There’s nothing better than a nice, fresh smoothie in the morning. At least, that’s what Jack would always say. 
That’s why he would always get up in the morning and make himself a smoothie. It didn’t matter what kind of smoothie. He used blueberries, strawberries, bananas, you name it! However, it’s when guests were over in the morning that he would make the best smoothies. He’d toss all of the ingredients in his trusty blender, and he'd let it do the rest. 
One day, Jack had some guests over: his mother and father. He invited them to sit down while Jack made a classic banana smoothie. 
As they talked about how life was going, Jack felt like something was missing. The smoothie was great, but it wasn’t perfect. “What could it possibly need?” he pondered to himself, “dragon fruit? Jackfruit? Basil?” 
“Jack? Jack!” his father talked, snapping Jack out of his daze. 
“Ah, sorry. I was just… in my own world for a second.”
“Jack, we’ve talked about this! You’re so deep in your head that you never consider reality!” his father snapped.
“And here you are, wasting your time making smoothies for a local fast food restaurant when you could be living big in the world! You could be doing so much more!” his mother added.
“We’ve been over this. I don’t want to join your stupid company!” Jack yelled.
“Then you’re not my son,” his mother uttered.
Time seemed to stand still at that moment. Jack’s face went pale as all strength was sapped out of him. 
“Get out.”
“Why you little…” his mother retorted.
“Get out!” Jack hollered.
As they left the house, Jack dropped to his knees. He needed something to do. Something to get this off of his mind. And then, as he took a sip from his smoothie, he remembered. Something didn’t taste right about it.
One by one, he tried every ingredient he could find. He started with simple ingredients like blueberries and kale, but they didn’t seem to work for him. Then, he moved to fancier ingredients like durian and quinoa. 
One day, as he was picking up his daily groceries from the local farmer’s market, something was off. As Jack looked upon the crowds, he felt something… different. A penetrating hunger like nothing that he’d ever felt before. It was… awful. Jack bought his normal groceries and made himself a protein shake in hopes that would sate this awful pain… It didn’t. He needed that mystery ingredient, and he needed it now. As Jack laid down in bed, he thought of what it could be.
He woke up in a land of fruit. The ground was a mix of strawberries and blueberries, the trees were bananas, the ferns were pineapple spines. “Where… am I?” Jack pondered aloud. Whether it was curiosity or hunger, he wasn’t sure, but he took a bite out of the strawberry next to him. Shiny and plump. It was the perfect strawberry. And yet, it didn’t taste like strawberries at all. Strawberries were supposed to be sweet. This was… savory. Piquant. Was that copper? It was… it was flawless! Jack woke up with glee. This is what his smoothie was missing! Now, how was he going to get it? In fact, what was it? He looked at what appeared to be a piece of meat, a bite taken. Jack looked down at his hand. The taste was still in his mouth, and all was made clear. He knew what he had. And he knew just where to get more.
That morning, Jack’s mom was found dead in her bedroom; her face nearly beyond recognition. Her body was mutilated and torn; wounds suggested that the weapon used was a knife. After a quick search of the house, the police found said knife with Jack’s father’s prints on it. He was immediately taken into custody.
Jack woke up that morning and got to his daily routine. Brush teeth, shave, shower, apply deodorant, get dressed, make breakfast. He now had the ingredients to make the perfect smoothie, and just in time for a guest as well! It was a neighbor coming over to inform Jack of the bad news. The neighbor looked in shock at Jack, “Jack? What happened to your finger?” Jack frowned, “I accidentally cut it off, cutting some chives last night. Don’t worry, I sought medical help.” Jack was upset, but remembered that night. That bitch had it coming. An ever-so-small smirk appeared, and he got to work. The smoothie came out a beautiful, slightly-dark pink. Jack eyed his guest. “I wonder if he’d like to stay for dinner,” Jack thought, licking his lips slightly. As Jack and his neighbor sipped at the drink, a grin spread across his face. At least that devil woman had provided the ‘strawberries’ he needed for his smoothie.
#Add a half cup of milk and a half cup of Greek yogurt.
#Cut the bananas appropriately.
#Throw in a bit of pureed ‘strawberry’ and bananas.
#Blend until smooth.
Perfect. Just perfect.
Category:Weird
Category:Dismemberment