Shock And Ball Torture

Shock And Ball Torture is the 3rd episode of the 4th season of the spin-off, NKC, written by AllisonLoaded. It released on October 30, 2022.
==Plot==
Unable to resist their urges, Lankton administers a shock collar to Krabs and Rex; Patrick gets promoted after a drug bust.
==Script==
(Episode begins with Krabs and Rex walking down the street)
Krabs: Boy, I tell ya, it wasn’t easy to wake up this morning just to go to this stupid rehab session.
Rex: You’re telling me. I went through withdrawal all of last night so all night I was just staring at the ceiling.
(Cut to show Rex staring at his ceiling in the middle of the night, sweating with bloodshot eyes; cut back to them at the door of the rehab)
Krabs: Well, let’s get this over with.
(They both stand still for an awkward amount of time)
Rex: Aren’t you gonna open the door?
Krabs: I thought you were gonna do that.
Rex: Well, you’re closer.
Krabs: What does that have to do with this?
Rex: Well, I just thought that-
Lankton: (Offscreen) For the love of God, just come inside!
(The two of them walk inside and take a seat)
Krabs: Good morning, Mr. Lankton
Lankton: Good morning, Rex.
Krabs: Rex? I’m Mr. Krabs.
Lankton: Oh, really? I thought you were Rex.
Rex: I’m Rex. He’s Krabs. 
Lankton: Wait, Krabs is the one with the cocaine addiction, right?
Rex: No, that’s ME!
Krabs: I’m the one who had sex with corpses.
Lankton: Okay, okay, damn, let’s just get this session started.
Krabs: So… what’re we doing today?
Lankton: Well, since yesterday’s session went… well… like absolute shit, I am gonna try some negative reinforcement treatment today.
Rex: Negative reinforcement? That’s my least favorite type of reinforcement.
Lankton: But it works surprisingly well. It’s kind of my go-to.
Krabs: But, we only failed the tests two times, and you’re already switching to negative reinforcement?
Lankton: I don’t have the mental strength to keep trying the tests. Not enough alcohol in the world to get me through that.
Krabs: Alcohol? Are you… Okay?
Lankton: (Suddenly shouting) I’M FUCKING FINE! I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING ALCOHOL PROBLEM! FUCK! 
(Silence fills the room)
Lankton: (Clears throat) Well, as I said, today we’re trying negative reinforcement.
Krabs: How "negative" are you talking?
Lankton: Searing, agonizing pain.
Krabs: What the fuck kind of "negative reinforcement" is that?! That's way too negative!
Lankton: Well, you both failed all your tests, so I really have no other option.
Rex: YOU ONLY GAVE US TWO TESTS!
Krabs: I thought you were supposed to be the greatest rehab… Guy… in Bikini Bottom!
Lankton: I AM! My style is just way too controversial for the other rehab people that work here. Those guys are pussies - I am the REAL DEAL.
Rex: The last one I had was better than -
(Without warning, Lankton straps 2 shock collars around Rex and Krabs' throats)
Lankton: There we go!
Krabs: Fucking OW - Did you have to do that so forcefully?
Lankton: You two wouldn't shut up, so I had no other choice.
Rex: (Speaking softly) I think… mine is too tight…
Lankton: You'll get used to it. Now! Let's get on to our actual tests.
(Fade to Rex sitting in front of a table with a bag of cocaine on it)
Krabs: Why does Rex get the first test?
Lankton: Because he didn't have sex with dead bodies, you fucking freak. Anyways, this test will be much like the last we did, as all I ask is for you to resist grabbing the bag of cocaine.
Krabs: Oh god, I see where this is going.
Lankton: Test begins now.
(Rex immediately grabs the cocaine bag drooling, when his collar begins buzzing; eventually, the collar electrocutes him as he drops the bag of cocaine)
Rex: (Screams in pain) FUCK, FUCKING OW! WHAT THE FUCK??
Lankton: Alright, attempt one lasted a single second. Time for attempt two.
Rex: (hyperventilating) How many attempts will we do??
Lankton: As many as we need to get you to at least 5 minutes without reaching for the cocaine.
Rex: 5 minutes?! No way I can last 5 minutes!
Lankton: Then I guess we're gonna keep this test up until you can.
Rex: Good lord…
(Fade to a zoom-out of Lankton's clinic as day turns to night; multiple electrocution sounds are heard as Rex screams, until eventually it fades back in to show Lankton and Krabs sleeping, while Rex is sitting with a stoic expression; Rex looks at the cocaine, then slowly turns his head to Lankton's timer, which shows 5 minutes)
Rex: Five minutes? (Suddenly shouting) LANKTON! I LASTED 5 MINUTES! (Yells at Lankton) LANKTON!
(Lankton wakes up screaming as he presses the button and Rex is given an electric shock)
Lankton: Jesus, don't fucking scare me like that! I was having a dream that I wasn't still doing this bullshit. Wait, what time are we at? (Checks the timer, sees he has passed 5 minutes) Oh! Well I'll be damned, you did it! Good job, Rex! (Rex gives no response) Uh… Rex? (Still no response) REX!
Rex: (Quietly) I think my heart stopped.
(Rex falls over backwards)
Lankton: (Turns to face Krabs) Okay, Krabs - your turn!
Krabs: Uh, no fucking thank you. Besides, me shell is so hard that it can withstand electricity!
Lankton: I’m not sure that’s how that works.
Krabs: What do you know? (Krabs suddenly gets electrocuted) FUCK, OW, I WAS DEAD, DEAD FUCKING WRONG!
Lankton: Alright, now let me go get myself a dead body.
(Lankton walks out and returns 2 seconds later with a corpse)
Krabs: Dude, do you just, like, have a collection of those things?
Lankton: Doesn’t matter. The test will begin… Now!
(Cut to a zoomed out shot of the outside of Lankton’s clinic as several electric shocks are heard as Krabs screams; cut back inside to see Krabs charred)
Krabs: (Coughing, weakly) So.. How did (Coughs) I do…
Lankton: (Looks at watch in astonishment) 4:59?! You only had ONE MORE SECOND!
Krabs: So… (Suddenly jolts) What does that mean for the test…
Lankton (Sighs) You passed. I don’t want to do this again to gain that one extra second. You both may leave now.
Krabs: (Looks at floor) I’m not even sure Rex is still alive.
(Lankton sighs as he presses the button, electrocuting Rex, waking him up)
Rex: fucking OW! God DAMNIT, that fucking HURTS LIKE SHIT! (Looks at Krabs’ current state) Jesus, what happened to you? And… How long was I out?
Lankton: Have a good night, you two. Now get out. Please.
(Rex and Krabs both look at eachother, then slowly exit the building; when they are gone, Lankton sighs depressingly as he takes out a glass of alcohol)
Lankton: Looks like it’s just me and you again, my only friend… (Drinks alcohol as he begins quietly sobbing)
(The camera focuses on Lankton’s crying for 5 seconds before fading to the inside of the Barg-N-Mart; a customer walks to the register, and the cashier begins scanning before putting her items in a bag)
Cashier: Thanks for shopping at Barg-N-Mart!
(Zoom to the outside of the store; Patrick and one other officer is standing at the entrance)
Patrick: So… You said the drug ring is here? Like, inside this Barg-N-Mart?
Cop: Yes, and we suspect they have been peddling drugs for years.
Patrick: Dude, c’mon - do you even hear yourself right now?
Cop: Why do you ask?
Patrick It’s a Barg-N-Mart, dude! A god damn grocery store. There is no way this place is a fucking drug ring.
Cop: Hey, you never know. I’ve had this job for 5 years - I’m actually retiring tomorrow, fuck you - and I have seen some very unlikely places be busted WIDE open for being drug manufacturing operations.
Patrick: But I’ve shopped here a million damn times. I just don’t believe there are drugs here.
Cop: Listen, Patrick, just go in there.
Patrick: Okay… And what do I do when I am there?
Cop: (Sighs) Watch and learn.
(Cut to the inside of the Barg-N-Mart, where suddenly, Patrick and the cop burst in. The cop is holding a gun, pointing it at the cashier)
Cop: FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE! THIS IS A DRUG BUST!
Patrick: Oh, I get it now!
(Patrick takes his gun out and shoots a shopper in the chest, and everyone screams and the cop gasps)
Patrick: Oh, uh, was I not supposed to do that
Cop: You shot one of those Anchovies, so it doesn’t matter.
Cashier: A drug bust?! Officers, you must have made some sort of mistake!
Cop: Oh yeah? We’ll see what our drug dogs have to say about that!
(2 cops walk in the building with detection dogs; as soon as they enter they bark vigorously)
Patrick: Wow, that was fast.
Cop: Good God, the dogs are going crazy! What the fuck could be going on here?!
(The cops are soon unable to keep the detection dogs in control, so they run around the store frantically barking at everything)
Patrick: Hey, can I do this next part?
Cop: I’m not sure what you mean, but okay.
(Patrick runs to the cashier and places a gun to his head)
Patrick: SPIT IT OUT, FOUR-EYES! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU KEEPING THE DRUGS?! I’M NOT GONNA ASK THIS TWICE!
Cop: Holy shit, good hustle, Patrick! Where’d you learn to talk tough like that?
Patrick: I play lots of first person shooters in my freetime and I hear shit like this constantly. They also say lots of slurs. Can I use slurs?
Cop: No, Patrick, you can NOT use slurs.
Patrick: Aw, why not?
Cop: You’ll get canceled by the Woke Mob.
Patrick: Oh yeah, fuck the woke mob. Oh wait, I’m interrogating. (Turns to cashier very suddenly) SPEAK UP, POINTDEXTER!
Cashier: I really don’t know what -
Patrick: (Jams gun to his head) I SAID, TELL ME, UNLESS YOU WANT A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD!
Cashier: OKAY, OKAY! IT’S IN THE FLOOR. ALL OUR DRUGS ARE STORED IN THE FLOORBOARDS!
Patrick: Thanks for your cooperation. Now come with us, you’re under arrest.
Cashier: Maybe… BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!
(The Cashier shoves Patrick, laughs as he starts running away, but then trips and falls on his face and lays on the floor without moving)
Patrick: (Pause with a confused look) What even… what was… huh????????????
Cop: You heard the man, check the floorboards!
(Patrick and the cops rip the floorboards, revealing piles of cocaine)
Cop: Good lord, this is the biggest drug bust I ever saw! We got em, boys!
(The cops all cheer as the cashier is escorted out the building; Patrick walks out of Barg-N-Mart as the police chief stops him)
Patrick: Oh, hello chief.
Chief: Patrick, that was one hell of a fine drug bust there.
Patrick: Wait, you weren’t even there.
Chief: I was watching from the outside.
Patrick: But… You could’ve been helping us.
Chief: That is besides the point. Listen, kid- I really like your gusto. I think you have some great potential. Tell ya what - Come into my office tomorrow and I will give you a big surprise. Keep up the good work, Patrick!
(The Chief walks away waving, as Patrick gets an excited look on his face)
Patrick: A surprise? Hmmmmmmmmm…
(Episode fades to black)
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