New Medications for Women

St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
----
EmptyNestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
----
Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
----
Dumerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q., causing enjoyment of country western music.
----
Flipitor: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
----
Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
----
Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
----
Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
----
JackAsspirin: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your anniversary or phone number.
----
Anti-talksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
----
Damitol: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
Category:Relationships
Category:Medical Humor