100. Hearts

A bachelor party, a bachelorette, and a wedding. 
"I played an awful lot of Hearts, although it was always a solitary game. But it ends up being better with others."
The morning of Samhain dawns, and Braum shuffles out into the Exhaust, unaware that Sir Xaeron has planned today for his bachelor party. The sidhe orders two masked assailants to grab Braum, bind him, and hustle him out to a waiting Winnebago, a smirking Zistor at the wheel. The masked figures are revealed to be Helena and Lord MacAllistar, anxious to get him started for his big day. Braum is brought to a mani-pedi salon, then for a scalp massage at a hair salon, and then back to the van. Inside, a very intense Dr. Sayley is doing her best horror show as she clamps the troll to a gurney, shocking him with electricity while inquiring as to the condition of his heart. (The rest of the bachelor party seems… concerned that they let this happen.)
Meanwhile, back at The Spark, Kyoko is dragged up by enthusiastic wedding party members Sophia and Patches, who help her down some shots while bringing her out to the party bus rented for the occasion. A model of the double-decker Spice Bus, the whimsy only increases as the travel-happy Countess Weyer climbs down off the bus, ready to party! Their first stop (along with Incisor and Talus) is a round of paintball, where they are met by Kian, and have grand time shooting and drinking.
Up on Mount Royal, Braum's party takes him to a corner of the mountain from which they can look out "upon his domain": "they exist because of the decisions you've made," Xaeron tells him. They all call his name out across the city, while meanwhile, the Spice Bus pulls up to The Typhoon Lounge, a far cry from the tea room Incisor thought they were going to. Making lemonade out of lemons, the party gets straight to work eating, drinking, and enchanting their mortal bartender Jason. Braum, too, is having a blast, as his bachelor party gets into a nerf fight, and the troll dives at Zistor's Nerf minigun to annihilate his friends. He is "forced" to call Kyoko to give her his "last words" before being blindfolded and driven off.
The two parties meet up outside the Typhoon Lounge, ready for the next phase of their adventure. Patches takes charge, handing out fanny packs of supplies and having people memorize a meeting place with a Spanish name. She warns them that they will be able to return to anywhere they choose at noon the following day, provided they think of it really hard. Without warning, she sets off her Wayfare cantrip. Both parties (and Jason) find themselves on a sandy beach under a bright blue sky, waves gently lapping at the shore… and an absolutely raucous party nearby with a DJ presiding over hundreds of dancing bodies. They are in Ibiza!
Sophia creates a beautiful grass hut to change in, and the party hops into their swimsuits to enjoy the atmosphere. The Companions of the Golden Braid force Braum and Kyoko apart, standing as obstacles between each other, and challenging the two to let their "love prevail". The group plays in the sand and ocean, enjoying each other's company. Patches takes a moment to ravage Jason, but tries to make it up to him before running into a young German playboy, Dieter, later in the afternoon. Sophia takes a moment with Incisor, who reminds Sophia that she's "looking for something long-term" despite her attraction to the sidhe, who isn't interested in being "tied down". There's a tension within the redcap: Incisor is jealous of Sophia's easy way with others, but feels desired because of her attentions. Meanwhile, Braum and Kyoko take a moment together, during which the troll cautiously suggests doing something "interesting" on this Samhain eve… perhaps adding a third to their bed?
The following day, the motley awakens… but all apart, unable to remember the events of the night before. Patches finds herself in an upscale penthouse in Madrid, with a couple of dramatic changes: a new rainbow haircut, and about €200,000 in cash in a duffel bag! Trying to piece her night back together, she vaguely remembers the taste of poker chips, and racing a beautiful sports car…. Then she receives a text from Dieter, thanking her for helping him with the new wheels! Checking out of the hotel room, she finds her bill has already been paid, and a safety deposit box in her name. Contained within are the keys to (and shipping manifest for) a 2020 Lamborghini, as well as a USB stick filled with crypto-currency. A lucky night indeed for the nocker!
Not too far from Ibiza, Sophia awakens in a hostel bunkbed next to a sleeping form. Nearby are her sopping wet clothes and about 20 cups from the bachelorette party, and Sophia is surprised to discover she has sore arms and back. Maybe from lifting something heavy? On the upper bunk is a letter from Sir Xaeron, but its contents have been ruined by damp. The sleeping (naked) figure reveals itself to be Incisor, and as the redcap realizes what must have happened between them, she simply says: "Aw shit."
Braum, too, awakens in a hotel bed, but in strangely familiar surroundings. Next to him is also a naked, sleeping figure… As Kyoko emerges from the bathroom, she simply raises her eyebrow to Braum: "Don't let me stop you." The figure rolls over, and Braum realizes that fate has once again led him to the Four Seasons Hotel in Montreal, and again to his squire, Fala!
Several weeks later, on the stormy afternoon of Sunday, November 17th, guests are beginning to arrive at the Spark from Braum and Kyoko's wedding. Duke Granville, presiding over the event, tries to hurry Braum along, but the troll stops in his tracks when he sees his sons come in with Countess Weyer. The countess hurries over to Braum with a proposal for him: his sons need an education into the Kithain world, and she is just the one to provide it to them! She promises to let him know if she ever plans to take Aidan and Gus out of the city, and that she'll do everything she can to teach them well. Braum happily agrees, and heads for the altar.
And under the watching eyes of all their assembled friends, Sir Braum Madsen ap Gwydion and Lady Hideo Kyoko ap Gwydion swear their love to each other. Braum tells Kyoko that she helped him to learn how much he depends on her; she tells him that she did not really love him until more recently, but wants their love to last until the end of days. Congratulations are in order for the happy couple!
Category:CTS-Ep