The Last Straw

*Catt
lay at the bottom of the stairs, seething silently at her limbs which had, once
again, decided to ignore her wishes. This had been happening repeatedly ever
since she had been shot nearly four months ago, and had gotten progressively worse
after almost getting run over by a carriage. 
Usually,
whenever one of her fellow lodgers at the Society of Arcane Sciences saw her
during one of these “limb-blackouts,” she would try to casually hide that it
was happening by using her other hand to reach for something, or suddenly
taking an unwarranted interest in the floor. Usually it worked, but it was
getting harder and harder to explain why she kept falling down the stairs.
Saying she was “just clumsy” wouldn't work, because everyone had known her to
be fairly dexterous. Especially after she began taking rapier lessons from her
good friend and mentor, Mz. Hyde. If she claimed to be not feeling well, they
typically tried to get her in to see one of the doctors that either frequented,
or resided on the premises. While she didn't hold anything against them as
people, she couldn't stand to visit them as a patient. She preferred to keep
her clothes on in the presence of others.
When
one or two, (or in this case, all) of her limbs stopped working, it was usually
back to normal after a few seconds. This time however, it seemed they were
being stubborn as she had been lying in this awkward position for over a
minute. If her body didn't get back to normal soon, someone would see her and
she'd have to come up with another excuse.
Twitch.
There we go. Catt
thought, rolling over to a more upright sitting position. Her attention was
quickly drawn away from her left arm, which still wasn't responding, by a very
familiar voice. She turned her head to see Mz. Hyde at the top of the stairs.
Crud.*
Mz.Hyde: Catt! 
*Mz. Hyde was on her way downstairs to grab some lunch when she saw her dear
friend tumble down the stairs.*
Catt?! What happened?! Are you okay?! 
*She sprints down the stairs.*
Oh my God!! Catt look at your arm!!! 
*She points at Catt's left arm.*
It's all twisted and everything!!!
Catt Hatter:  I'm fine!
I'm fine, *Catt said quickly, trying to calm her friend.* I know it looks bad,
but it doesn't hurt! Plus, I've ha-AUGK! *The feeling in her arm returned in
painfully sharp focus. It seems that this time, the fall had dislocated her
shoulder.* Ow, owow...
Mz.Hyde: Oh my god! You've probably dislocated your
shoulder!!!! Don't move! I'll go get Hen!!
Catt Hatter:  Ngh, I'm
o-okay. *Catt said breathlessly, clutching her injured arm and wincing.* Just,
could you help me to a chair first? I don't want to block the stairs.
Mz.Hyde: Yeah, getting you to a chair will probably help.
*She goes over to Catt and gently helps her into a chair.*
Now, stay here! I'm going to go get help!
Catt Hatter:  Mn, okay.
*Catt leaned back in the chair to wait.*
Mz.Hyde: Are you comfortable?
Catt Hatter:  As
comf-ortable as I can be with a dislocated arm, heh. *She joked, trying to make
light of the situation.*
Mz.Hyde: Good, I'll try to find Hen!
*She turns to go find him.*
Catt Hatter:  Okay. I'll
wait here. *She leaned back in the chair careful not to jostle her injured
arm.*
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  ( The
doctor sits by the fire, sipping a small cup of Jasmine green tea. The weather
is finally cool enough to appreciate such things. He slides the fragrant blend
into his mouth when- )
Bvvvvvvvvvvv
PHFFFFFFFFF
( He spits tea all over himself when the pager vibrates. Cursing silently,
he rushes to his wardrobe to change before heading to the base of the stairs.
He slows, observing Catt's odd positioning before approaching her. )
Landed into a spot of trouble, have we?
Catt Hatter:  Nah, just
the bottom of the stairs. *Catt said, wincing as her laugh shifted her arm.*
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  HA HA ha.
( Hen laughs with her, interrupted by both her pain and Mz.Hyde's panic. )
Mz.Hyde: HEEENNNNNNN!!!!
*Mz. Hyde rushes up to him.*
CATT FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND I THINK HER ARM IS DISLOCATED AND IF WE DON'T PUT
IT BACK IN THEN IT'LL HAVE TO GET AMPUTATED AND THEN SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO DO
ANYTHING AND THEN SHE'LL BECOME HOMELESS AND THEN SHE'LL BE COLD AND HUNGRY AND
THEN SHE'LL DIE OR WORSE AND-
*Mz. Hyde continued on, clearly on the edge of an emotional breakdown.*
Catt Hatter:  Mz. Hyde,
please stop shouting. I'm fine, it won't need to be amputated. *She chuckled,
wincing again as her arm protested.* Even if it did, I'm right handed anyway.
Mz.Hyde: I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE RIGHT HANDED!! YOU STILL
NEED BOTH ARMS!!
Catt Hatter:  I Need
Both My Ears Too! *Catt let go of her arm in favour of protecting her ear, and
elevated her own voice. Though not to the same extent as her friend.* Please
Stop Shouting! It Was A Joke!
Mz.Hyde: I'm sorry! I don't want you to die!!
Catt Hatter:  Been
there, done that. It didn't stick. *Catt smirked up at her.* Don't worry, I
won't be dying over this.
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  No need to
worry! it won't kill you. ( He winces. ) It will just...hurt...a lot. ( He
inches closer to Catt, gingerly placing his hands on her arm. ) Take deep
breaths, prepare yourself.
...1... 2... 3! ( Hen grabs her shoulder and twists it back into
place with a loud "POP" )
Catt Hatter:  *Pretty
sure I've had worse. Catt thought with a wry smirk. Nonetheless, she
followed his instructions.*
*Catt yelped through clenched teeth as the joint was set right.* Ow, owowow, ow...
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  There ( He
breathes, removing his hands. ) All Set. I told you to be prepared. Even the
hardest of criminals succumb to the...er...agony of dislocation.
Catt Hatter:  I wouldn't
quite call it agony, *She grunted through her teeth.* But this does hurt a fair
bit, yeah. Uh, thank you.
Um. *Catt looked at the ground, debating weather to ask her question or not. It
could lead to a conversation she'd been avoiding for nearly four months.*
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  There's no
need. I'm here to help!
( He watches her carefully, allowing the silence to remain between them in
favor of granting a little comfort. )
Catt Hatter:  Um, I
couldn't actually feel when it got dislocated, only after I sat up. *She
explained.* I don't think that's normal.
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  It's not.
It would seem that you're experiencing some troublesome neurologic symptoms.
Complications of your accident, no doubt.
( He places his arms behind his back and begins to pace. ) I am impressed,
however. You were supposed to return within a week of my discharge and yet
you've managed to carry on for quite some time. That Hatt is truly a miracle.
Catt Hatter:  Yeah...
*She said softly, remembering. Her hand subconsciously wrapped its way around
her abdomen.* It really is. At this trajectory I could probably keep going
forever, yeah? I mean, so what if my limbs black out every so often, no biggie,
right?
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  Sure,
until you become paralyzed. Bedridden. Completely dependent on another for your
upkeep. Then come the seizures. Maybe you'll start losing more. Your speech.
Your cognizance. Your bodily functions. If you let this go on, not only are you
at risk for infection, but you also risk returning to infancy as well.
Catt Hatter:  Yeah.
Didn't think that was an option... *Catt said gravely.* There, really isn't any
choice is there? *She looked up at the doctor, a pleading sadness barely
concealed behind her eyes.*
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  ( He looks
down at her, returning her pleading with tender sympathy. ) I wish there was. (
He sighs and looks to the ground. ) If only we knew more about the brain... so
often I wish we could tamper with specific areas. Isolate our problems and
erase them! memories we regret having, emotions we no longer wish to feel... If
we did THAT however, we'd cause so much more damage than we ever meant to.
Science is simply not advanced enough, even IN the future!
Catt Hatter:  I know.
*She sighed, allowing her own gaze to drop to the floor. Her hand sought out
Mz. Hyde's and clasped it tightly.* I just hated being scared and worried all
the time. But I don't ever intend to be a burden to my friends.
Mz.Hyde: Catt, it's okay to be scared of things. Everyone is
afraid sometimes.
Catt Hatter:  Yeah, but
all the time? Can you imagine what it's like? To go from being nervous about
everything, and worried that some little thing you do could turn your friends
against you, to not being afraid of anything at all? It's like zero gravity!
I'm not even scared of pain anymore! I could serve tea to the Queen herself and
not even lose sleep! And, *she looked down, squeezing her hand.* I could go
have reckless fun with you without worrying about the consequences.
Mz.Hyde: I know that you get scared a lot, Catt. That's why
I was trying to teach you how to fight! So you could defend yourself!
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  ...You
know, you could achieve the same effect with desensitization training. Scotland
Yard puts their officers through rigorous courses to cancel out their natural
responses. Our mighty soldiers meet the business end of other nations' guns all
the time. Not to minimize your experiences, of course, but it could help curb
that knee-jerk reaction.
Catt Hatter:  I, don't
know. *She pondered it for a moment.* I'll have to consider it after I am once
again, in possession of my right mind. But thank you for bringing the option to
my attention.
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  You are
not a burden, I'll do anything to help you see that.
Catt Hatter:  Thank you,
*Catt gave him a half smile.* The assurances are most welcome, but I'll
probably appreciate it more after the operation.
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  But of
course. (He nods. ) Are you ready now, or would you like some time to prepare?
Catt Hatter:  I dunno.
Do I need to prepare anything? *She paused* Should I change my outfit?
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  You'll be
changing into a hospital gown and we'll need to map outexactly where the
bullet entered. Providing that it is also waterproof, you should probably leave
your Hatt on if you wish to bathe because you do have a bit of exposed brain
there. You can contact other friends and family ( He glances Mz.Hyde ) and we'll have to have you fast the night before,
so anything you may need to do to make yourself comfortable should be done
tonight.
Catt Hatter:  Map out?
It entered right here. *She said placing the tip of her finger on her forehead,
and a bit to her right.* I don't have a family, and given the gossip chain
here, I think everyone will know about it by the time it happens.
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  ( He
chuckles. ) As you wish. Would you at least like a "last meal?"
Catt Hatter:  *Catt did
her best to stifle a laugh.* I, think you might have chosen better words for
that, but no thanks. I'm good, is drinking allowed, or no?
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  Not the
night before, hence why I ask. It would be a rather nasty shock to find that
you are suddenly scheduled for something major and didn't have a chance to be
comfortable beforehand.
Catt Hatter:  Hm. I'm
good to go without, but I think I'll set up some Chamomile for afterwards.
Mz.Hyde: Don't worry! I'll make sure that she doesn't
consume anything! Catt, if you'd like me to, I can get my head scanned too,
just to show you it's no big deal.
Dr. Jekyll II ( Mother Hen ):  hm! I
suppose a baseline test could be useful for you.
Catt Hatter:  *Scanned?*
Okay. The more the merrier, right? *She smiled softly at her friend.*
Mz.Hyde: Awesome! I've always wanted to get my head scanned!
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
chuckled at this. There was usually more than one reason for people doing what
they did, not that she minded. It made things more interesting and people more
intriguing to try and figure out. Learning to understand people and their
reasons was fun.*
Mz.Hyde: Well, you ready to get started Catt?
Catt Hatter:  As ready
as I'll ever be. Though the surgery isn't until tomorrow, gotta keep myself
occupied without eating!
Mz.Hyde: Right! Got any ideas?
Catt Hatter:  As long as
it doesn't involve stairs, I'm good with anything.
Mz.Hyde: Right right, no stairs...stairs are bad.
Catt Hatter:  Not so
much bad, as a risk. I don't want to give the doctor more work. *Catt thought
for a bit.* Can you play chess?
Mz.Hyde: No.
Catt Hatter:  I could
teach you in the Library if you like? That should take a bit.
Mz.Hyde: Sounds fun!
Catt Hatter:  Great,
let's go! *Catt said, accidentally trying to push herself up out of the chair
with both arms.* Ah-how! *She exclaimed, falling back into her seat.*
Mz.Hyde: Um...how about I carry you!
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
nearly blushed. Besides that, it was her arm that was hurt, not her legs.*
S-sure.
Mz.Hyde: *Mz. Hyde gently picks Catt up.*
Ready to go?
Catt Hatter:  Yeah. *She
wasn't sure what to call the feeling, but she guessed she liked being carried.
It was like a walking hug.* T-to the Library!
Mz.Hyde: Onward then!
*She walks with Catt in her arms towards the library.*
Catt Hatter:  *Once they
reached the library, Catt told Mz. Hyde where to find the chess set and they
took a seat at a window table to play.*
Mz.Hyde: Okay...so how do I play this game?
Catt Hatter:  Well, each
piece design has a rank and type of move it can make. *She said, holding up
each piece and setting it on the board.* The first ones are pawns, they can
only move forward one space at a time and attack diagonally. Then there's the
castle, or "rook." It goes in the corners and can move in any
straight line until it encounters another piece. With me so far?
Mz.Hyde: I think so.
Catt Hatter:  Nice! Next
we've got the Knight. The Knight can move three spaces any straight direction,
and one space left or right. It is also the only piece that can move through
pieces. The bishops can only move diagonally and stand on either side of the
king and queen.
Mz.Hyde: O-okay.
Catt Hatter:  And in the
middle of the back row, we have the royalty. The queen goes on her own colour,
and can move laterally and diagonally for any number of spaces. The king
however, can only move one space in any direction and if he is trapped or
killed, that colour loses. Other than that, white goes first. Any questions?
Mz.Hyde: Um....no?
Catt Hatter:  Nice. So
just set up your pieces to mirror mine and then, you get first move! *Catt
instructed, pushing the white pieces over to Mz. Hyde's side of the board.*
Mz.Hyde: *Mz. Hyde gets the pieces together.*
Okay, here we go!
*She moves a pawn.*
Catt Hatter:  Oh yeah.
On a pawn's first move it can go forward two spaces. Sorry. Did you want to
move it two spaces or keep your original move?
Mz.Hyde: Oh! 
*She moves it another space.*
Catt Hatter:  Nice.
*Catt moved the pawn in front of the king forward two spaces.*
Mz.Hyde: *Mz. Hyde moved another pawn.*
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
moved the queen's pawn forward one space.* Your turn.
Mz.Hyde: *Mz. Hyde moves the first pawn forward.*
Catt Hatter:  *With
nothing in it's path, Catt moved her queen diagonally to the edge of the
board.* Checkmate.
Mz.Hyde: What? How'd you do that?
Catt Hatter:  It was a
trick my dad taught me, *she answered without realising what she'd just said.*
The Three-step Checkmate.
Mz.Hyde: You have a Dad?
Catt Hatter:  What?
*Catt asked, jarred from her train of thought.*
Mz.Hyde: The move you just did, you just said that you
learned that trick from your Dad.
Catt Hatter:  I, did?
*Her brow furrowed in thought.* I did. I learned it from my dad, huh. But I
don't remember having a dad, or a mother for that matter. *She smiled at the
queen piece in her hand.* So my daddy taught me chess...
Mz.Hyde: That's amazing Catt! You remembered your Dad! Maybe
you'll remember your Mom too!
Catt Hatter:  No, I
don't remember my dad. Just the fact that he's where I got the knowledge to
play chess. It feels like a nice fact though, it makes me smile. *She stared at
the queen nostalgically for another moment before setting it back on the
board.* Anyway, let me show you how I did it.
Mz.Hyde: O-OKAY.
*A little put off by Catt's rapid change of subject, Mz. Hyde turns her
attention back to the game.*
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
explained the technique and they spent the next couple hours playing. Despite
having only just been taught the game, Mz. Hyde was able to win over half of
the games they played. At least they guessed it was that much, neither of them
were counting.*
Mz.Hyde: I think I've had enough chess for one day, what
about you?
Catt Hatter:  Yeah. Good
games though, *Catt said brightly, shaking Mz. Hyde's hand.* I had fun. What
should we do next? I picked chess, so now it's your turn to pick something!
Mz.Hyde: Hmmmm...have you ever played a little game called
"Cards against Humanity"?
Catt Hatter:  No, I
haven't. But I gather from the name it's nothing like "go-fish."
Mz.Hyde: Oh it's the FUNNIEST game ever!
Catt Hatter:  Oh? I'm
game for anything funny!
Mz.Hyde: Awesome! You'll love this! 
*She pulls out a small black box.*
Catt Hatter:  How does
the game work? *Catt asked looking at the box with great interest.*
Mz.Hyde: First, you draw ten white cards. 
*Mz. Hyde deals Catt and herself some cards.*
Then, one of us picks a black card and reads it out loud. the other person then
picks whatever one of the cards they think fits best. Whether or not you win
the round depends on if the dealer finds your selection funny. So this game
really all depends on how well you know each other's sense of humor!
Catt Hatter:  Ah, I see!
*Catt picked up her cards and arranged them in a perfect fan. She was
surprised, to say the least, by some of the options.*
Mz.Hyde: I'll go first!
*She draws a black card.*
Why do I hurt all over?
Catt Hatter:  Um...
*Catt considers her cards, looking confused before placing one that reads
"Discharging a firearm in a residential area."* This?
Mz.Hyde: Haha! Yes! You win this round! Your turn to pick!
Catt Hatter:  Okay, um,
*she drew a card.* "Studies show that lab rats navigate %50 faster after
being exposed to blank."
Mz.Hyde: Used panties.
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
snorted in surprise.* What? Ew! *She handed Mz. Hyde the black card.*
Mz.Hyde: Yes! 
*She draws.*
Blank. That's how I want to die.
Catt Hatter:  Poor life
choices? *She played the card.*
Mz.Hyde: Yes! Haha! You're turn!
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
giggled.* Well this is funny, "What are my parents hiding from me?"
Mz.Hyde: The profoundly handicapped.
Catt Hatter:  Wow, they
sound like snobs! *Catt laughed, handing her the card.*
Mz.Hyde: In M. Night Shyamalan's new film, Bruce Wilis
discovers that blank had really been blank all along.
Catt Hatter:  Hee hee,
that the Quiche had really been Pterodactyl Eggs all along!
Mz.Hyde: Woah! What a plot twist! Haha!
Catt Hatter:  Yeah,
whoda thought? *She pulled a new card.* What's a girl's best friend? This
should be interesting.
Mz.Hyde: The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney!
Catt Hatter:  Who's Mitt
Romney? *She asked, handing over the card.*
Mz.Hyde: I dunno, some guy from the future.
*She pulls a card.*
White people like blank.
Catt Hatter:  Pretending
to be happy! *A bit morose, but it could garner a laugh.*
Mz.Hyde: Truer than you'd think! 
*Gives the card.*
Catt Hatter:  Yeah.
*Catt chuckled.* In a pinch, blank can be substituted for blank.
Mz.Hyde: Jerking off into a pool of children's tears can be
substituted for incest.
Catt Hatter:  *Catt just
stared at her looking vaguely confused. Three of those words didn't make sense
and she got the impression that she didn't want them to. She handed over the
card.*
Mz.Hyde: No response eh? Heehee...you don't wanna
know! 
*Pulls a card.*
Oh! Here's a good one! What is Batman's guilty pleasure?
Catt Hatter:  You're
right, I don't. :T *She glanced over her cards. She snickered.* Self-loathing.
Mz.Hyde: Perfect! Haha!
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
grinned, then elevating her voice, she declared.* Everyone down on the ground!
We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for blank.
Mz.Hyde: Making a friend!
Catt Hatter:  Yay! More
friends! *She handed over the card.*
Mz.Hyde: *She draws a card.*
What's there a ton of in heaven?
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
looked over her cards. She was starting to run out of options for cards she'd
be willing to be caught playing. Some of these were just gross!* Sweet, sweet
vengeance.
Mz.Hyde: Sounds like my kind of place! 
*Hands her the card.*
Catt Hatter:  Thought it
might! *She grinned, taking the card and drawing another.* Votes are in and the
new school mascot is blank.
Mz.Hyde: Shaft!
Catt Hatter:  Who? *She
handed Mz. Hyde the card. It occurred to her that with only two players, it
wasn't actually possible to lose.*
Mz.Hyde: Do you dig it? Haha!
*Pulls a card.*
Next from J.K Rowling: Harry Potter and The Chamber of Blank.
Catt Hatter:  *Catt
snickered again.* The Chamber of Drinking Alone!
Mz.Hyde: Oh, those wizards!
Catt Hatter:  Don't they
know that too much butter beer isn't good for you? *Catt jested.* The Smithsonian
Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on blank.
Mz.Hyde: Passive-Aggressive Post-it Notes.
Catt Hatter:  Ha, how do
you think that'd even work? *She asked, handing over the card.*
Mz.Hyde: It would be the most popular exhibit ever! 
*She pulls a card.*
But before I kill you Mr. Bond, I must show you blank.
Catt Hatter:  Yeah, all
the paper! And you just know that someone would be putting the notes on random
people's backs! *Catt laughed.*
== Obtained From ==
Surgery? Surgery.
Category:Main Plot
Category:Tales from the ER