Regrets

A cool rain fell on the docks outside of the Salty Sailor Tavern, bringing a refreshing breeze to Booty Bay, but promising another afternoon of sweltering humidity once it subsided. The patrons of the tavern paid it little heed as they went about their individual buisness, with the exception of a large, dark, tauren bull.
Roshanar Skychaser sighed as he looked out across the bay. The rain matched his mood; a welcome respite from the fatigue of the jungle heat, but clearly temporary.
The past few months had been a study in extremes. Joy and hope with his marriage to the druidess Ehawe, honor with his promotion to Cerberus, reconciliation and love with the return of his sister, Ihoni.
And then, the crushing agony surrounding the events of Ehawe's death, the stress of leadership in the light of vague, dangerous omens from the Vanguard's now-absent Oracle, and the unthinkable dishonor and rage of the Alliance's attack against the noble Cairne Bloodhoof.
As Roshanar took stock of these events in his memory, he sighed again. He felt old... surely his father, Thorm, had not faced blows like this, and certainly not alone. Ehawe was lost to him, Ihoni was a world away, serving the Circle... The two people he had come to depend on most for counsel were not able to provide it.
Ehawe. Oh, how her loss stung. In no one else had he found someone able to provide such perspective, such direction. In more peaceful times, Roshanar would have been able to make peace, to grieve... but these were not peaceful times. Threats loomed all around, forces bent on the destruction of all he treasured. The Vanguard needed a Cerberus, someone to give them direction, hope. He knew that he could not allow his weakness to weaken those around him.
And so, he had masked his grief, avoided making mention of it. He provided what he thought the Vanguard needed; a Cerberus able to overcome personal tragedy and loss, able to rise to meet the daily dangers and challenges in spite of it all.
To a large degree, he had succeeded. But the stress, the betrayal of the Alliance assaults, the dangers of the Lich King's plots, had begun to erode his defenses. His patience level had dropped, and his sleep had grown more fitful.
Noelle, the Oracle, had summoned him, speaking prophecies he did not understand, giving him direction he did not know how to follow. Danger to the Vanguard? Danger to those he cared most about? So many threats, and he had no idea how to counter them.
And then the attack. Roshanar winced, as the memory of that moment burned across his mind again. The alarm being raised, the frantic flight to the Bluff, the sight of the Alliance assassins harrying the Chieftain. The world stopping as the great tauren fell. And then... haze. A blur of elves and blood, snatches of Vodral yelling at him, tugging at his armor.
Roshanar shook his head, trying to clear the memory, not noticing that his hands had begun trembling. He had been broken, he knew it. He had failed to hold himself, and he had done great harm. But most telling of all... he did not care. He wanted them to suffer, he wanted them to die. If not for the intervention of Blight and Lorima, he would have continued killing any elf, human, gnome, or dwarf he came across in a blind rage until he, himself, was dead.
Blight had been right... as he was, he was a danger. His own feelings were putting those who counted on him in greater danger, not less.
And so, he had run. He had hidden his blades and his armor, and taken refuge in the bustle of Booty Bay. And now, at least, he could be alone in a crowd, able to reflect on the things he had hidden for so long.
Roshanar glanced over his shoulder at the common room of the tavern. People were talking, drinking. Two gnomes had just started a minor scuffle with a goblin. The tauren smirked as he watched the guards pry the offenders apart and toss them out the door. For once, it was not his problem. Turning back to gaze out the open window, Roshanar noted that the rain had not stopped. He wondered how long it would last.
Category: Horde Stories
Category: Stories