Missing Link (2019 film)/Transcript

Sir Lionel Frost: This tea is tepid, Mr. Lint.
I'm sorry, Sir Lionel.
It's a cold night, and we're a long way from shore.
Shh! Do you hear that?
Mm-mm.
Ah, yes. The perfect spot.
Now, we have work to do.
Break out the bagpipes.
Mi
La mi-mi-mi-mi
Mi-mi
Very good. Okay, here we go.
Do you think this will work, sir?
Sir Lionel Frost: They do say music soothes the savage beast, Mr. Lint.
I'm not sure in this case, sir.
Is the camera to hand?
It is essential.
Under your seat, sir.
Good.
Let those fellows at the club scoff when faced with irrefutable proof.
I should've joined the army.
Sir Lionel?
Hmm?
Darwin's finches! She's real!
I knew it. I knew it.
Oh, she's a spirited one, isn't she? Ha-ha!
Hold this, will you?
Whoa!
Ah, okay.
Oh!
Oh!
A little to the right, please. No, no, no. My right.
That's it, that's it.
Now, what do we say?
Help me!
No, Mr. Lint.
What else do we say?
My hands are bleeding!
Can we say "cheese"?
Please!
Close enough.
Oh!
A carnivore. Huh.
Do buck up, Mr. Lint.
No harm done.
Aah!
Oh, fiddlesticks.
I quit! I can't take any more of this. I won't!
You were mauled by a prehistoric lake monster.
How many people can claim that?
None. Because they're all dead!
I thought you were made of sterner stuff.
What is wrong with you?
I'm a human being!
Yes, one of over one-and-a-half billion. But that creature, on the other hand, is one of a kind. Don't you see?
Mr. Lint: Oh, I see perfectly well. It's no wonder you can't keep anyone around.
Sir Lionel Frost: Do stay, Mr. Lint. I'll make absolutely sure you don't get eaten again. I promise.
Mr. Lint: You said that last time!
If I'm ever to be taken seriously by the adventuring community, I must… I must provide proof, yes. You see, my mistake was relying on these newfangled cameras. We'll go back. We'll get some real evidence. We can...
Sir Lionel Frost: No, we shall not. You, sir, are on your own.
Uh...
Oh, bother.
Ew.
"Dear Sir Lionel Frost, as famed seeker of mythical beasts, you may be interested in this proposition. I can reveal to you the as-yet-undiscovered creature known as the Sasquatch. Follow the trail along Old Kemp Creek in Washington State, and you will find him. I am truly the real deal, and I… I believe you are, too."
Huh.
Old Kemp Creek. I knew it.
Ha-ha!
The game is afoot!
Ha-ha! A foot.
It's a... Hmm. Right.
Oh, it's you. You know
I have strict orders not to...
Yes, yes, very good, thank you.
There he stood before me, his wicked heathen eyes locked on mine.
No sound but the wind whistling through his grass skirt.
Then, in a flash, I fell to one knee, thrust my hand down my trouser leg, whipped out a pistol I had concealed against my inner thigh, aimed it right between his eyes, and dropped him where he stood quicker than you could say, "God save the Queen."
How do you like that, hmm?
A noble battle.
Thank heaven he wasn't armed.
And then what happened?
Uh, I wasn't out of the woods yet.
Not by a long shot.
The one thing that still stood in my way was...
Sir Lionel Frost!
Gentlemen… I bring thrilling news.
Oh, it's the monster hunter.
This club is for members only.
What is it this time, Frost?
Did you come to tell us about Nessie?
Ah, Lord Piggot-Dunceby.
Why don't you show us what proof you found in the loch, hmm?
Yes, a regrettable conclusion to an otherwise rather promising expedition.
Uh...
But I'm not here to bemoan past misfortune.
I am here to unveil my latest and most tantalizing enterprise, gentlemen.
Here he goes again.
Now wait.
Give it up, man.
What I have here is a cast...
Oh!
...of a giant, non-human footprint.
That's a big foot.
I bet he's a big fellow. Heh.
One of dozens of documented eyewitness reports of a mysterious creature.
Do you mind?
Oh.
Huge, hairy, and walking upright. Neither ape nor man, but the link in between. Yes, he's had many names: Skookum, Rougarou, Tse'nahaha, Loo Poo Oi'Yes… and most commonly known in... in a muddled derivation of an old Halkomelem dialect, as Sasquatch.
Heh. That'll never catch on.
I offer you a glimpse of a legendary creature lost in time and proof… proof, I tell you… that man's primate ancestors are not just tall tales and flights of fancy, but alive and well and living in the New World.
Ha-ha!
The very thought of it.
Well, I never!
Poppycock!
But think of it.
Evidence of man's primitive ancestry, the missing link!
No, sir, I shan't think of it.
I won't.
Uh...
Look around you. You stand beneath the most renowned adventurers of the world.
The members of this club have crossed oceans, tamed jungles, conquered the tallest peaks.
We've butchered the ungodly...
...and brought good British table manners to savages the world over.
You, sir, seek to make a mockery of us.
Sir Lionel Frost: No, no, no. I seek to join you. And the discovery of this creature must surely secure my place here. I mean, what do you say to that?
I say we are descended from great men, not great apes.
Sir Lionel Frost: Well, I say you're wrong.
What?
Sir Lionel Frost: I... I believe the two go hand in hand, and what's more, I...
What did he say to me?
I think he said you're wrong.
I have heard enough. Your words are nothing. My word is everything. What is yours worth?
I beg your pardon?
I give you my word I'll bring back proof of this creature, and in return, you'll admit you're wrong, and you'll grant me membership here, so I might finally take my place where I truly belong.
You do not belong here, and you will fail.
Well, in that case, you have nothing to lose.
Very well.
You'll swear on it?
I will.
Then you'll excuse me if I take my leave.
I, uh… I have much to prepare.
Thank you.
Until next we meet, gentlemen.
These are dark days, Collick. Electricity, suffrage, evolution. We are on the brink of a precipice. Yes, mark my words. And the ground beneath us is clawed away by these… these new thinkers. They'll change the world, and there'll be no room in it for the likes of me.
Collick: But, my Lord, Frost's frivolous escapades usually amount to naught. He can't possibly win this wager.
Lord Piggot-Dunceby: I'm not taking any chances! No, I must make a stand for all that is civilized.
Collick: But how are you going to do that, my Lord?
Gonna hire a thug to kill him.
Oh, yes. That'll do it.
Hello?
Hmm.
Shh!
Stop, please!
Please wait!
It's still there.
Excuse me. I think I've got a little something stuck in my...
There it is. In my throat. Like a nut or a… or a field mouse or something like that. I don't know. Am I rambling? I'm a little nervous, if I'm being honest.
I...
Sir Lionel Frost, I presume. Hi.
Sir Lionel Frost: I don't believe it. I mean, you can speak.
Mr. Link: Yes. And, um, I write as well. My penmanship isn't great, but, uh… you know, opposable thumbs and… fat fingers, you know?
Sir Lionel Frost: How can you speak?
Mr. Link: Good question. How can I speak? Well, I watched at first. I listened. I paid attention to a lot of things. I learned, I stole books, newspapers here and there. Um, an old shaman in the valley helped me a little. Not only that, he taught me how to play chess.
Smart shaman.
Not really.
I mean, I beat him every time. He's a lousy player. And he cheats. He's a cheater.
You're exactly as I imagined. Eight feet tall, chest circumference 70 inches, total weight around 650 pounds.
Well, I'd say it's more like, you know, 630 pounds.
You know, it's the hair that makes me look heavier, I think.
It's a... It's a little deceptive.
It can be frustrating.
Oh! Look at the size of those metatarsals.
Whoa, sir! Wow, your hands!
Do you mind if I smell you?
Um, yeah, sure.
I mean, I bathed recently.
You know, like, two weeks ago in a creek.
Uh, so, should...
You didn't drink from the creek, did you?
Remarkable.
Uh, wait.
So, you called me by my...
How do you know me?
I wrote the letter.
Sir Lionel Frost: You wrote this? You asked me here to discover you?
Mr. Link: Oh, discov... No, no, no. I asked you here to help me.
Over this way.
Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed.
Sorry if it smells a little.
I don't entertain that much.
Ever.
If I might ask, how did you find me?
Oh, well, I've read all about you.
I think that one's my favorite, right there.
Let's see. I think there might be a picture.
Yes. You can't believe everything you read, can you?
Let's move along, shall we?
So, I need someone who knows the wild places of the world, someone who believes in my existence, but, you know, doesn't want to shoot me.
You're not gonna shoot me, are you?
But if you'd explain, what exactly do you ask of me?
Take me away from this place.
I'm lonely.
Your world,
it... it grows bigger.
Mine is eaten away.
You know, there's nothing for me here anymore.
I've walked these woods year after year, but I'm the last.
I have none of my kind to live with, no… no family.
Really, nobody.
But… many miles away, on the other side of the world, they talk of this… this creature.
He's a snowman.
A yeti?
And... And look at this. I think these yetis are my cousins. They're... They're my kind. I want to go to that cold place and find them. And then… um, I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life alone. Can you just take me there? Please?
Sir Lionel Frost: Take you to the Himalayas? I can't possibly.
Mr. Link: Yes, you can. If anyone can, it's you. You're a… You're a great man.
Mm, that's a tantalizing proposition, I'll admit.
You must understand, my objective here was to find proof of you. Um, my name depends upon it.
Proof? What kind of proof?
Incontrovertible evidence of your existence to prove my doubters wrong, uh, like hair samples, a tooth, nail clippings, feces.
Mr. Link: Well, I have all those things.
That seems like a fair deal.
In that case, why not?
I shall get you there, to the place you belong.
And in return, you will get me to mine.
Oh, yes. I'll prove the existence of not just one, but an entire evolutionary branch of missing links.
Imagine the headlines then.
Oh, wow! You really mean that?
You're gonna take me?
Of course. I give you my word.
Okay. What is it?
What?
Your word.
No, it's a figure of speech.
Sounds good. What is it?
The word, my dear fellow, is "trust."
Mr. Link: Oh, so, you want the poop now?
No, later will be fine.
Right. And… what do I call you?
I mean, if we're to travel halfway across the globe, you'll need a name.
Well, there's never really been anyone around to give me a name, you know?
Hmm. That won't do.
I... I think I still carry the papers of my valet, Mr. Lemuel Lint.
We'll simply change the "T" to a "K," and then we have the perfect cover story.
Mr. Link. You know, like... missing link.
Mr. Link: Ah! Wait, I don't get it.
Uh, fine. Then to business.
We have much to do.
Yes, sir. Where do we start?
With the work of the late Aldous Fortnight.
He and I shared the same, um, shall we say, pursuits.
Yes, before his untimely death.
A singular man.
Primatologist, poet laureate, and sometime fullback for the Blackheath Football Club.
Oh, I like the sound of that guy.
Spent much of his life searching for the elusive yeti. And the best part of all, he drew a map.
All right, let me just... Can I just ask a...
Hmm?
You think Mr. Fortnight's widow will give it to us, just like that?
Don't fret, Mr. Link.
You just leave Adelina to me.
Oh. Oh, so, the two of you are acquainted.
Hoo-hoo!
You can say that again.
Okay. So, the two of you are acquainted.
What I… What I mean is, Adelina and I were… well, more than just acquaintances.
Mr. Link: Oh. Oh… Oh! Wait a second. I said, "Oh!" like I knew what you were talking about, but I don't.
Never mind.
First things first.
We shall get some sleep and sustenance.
Whoo! I barely know you.
What, here?
You know what? I'm fine.
I'll wait out here.
We'll keep a low profile and be out of here by first light.
I can't go in there.
Well, not as you are, no.
But at the very least, we should cover up your, uh… modesty.
Put this on.
Sir Lionel, I'm a little afraid that this isn't gonna work.
Oh, come now.
I imagine everyone in there has hairy knuckles and poor hygiene.
You'll fit right in.
Hmm.
Ooh! Excuse me.
Hmm.
What can I get you?
Hmm. We'll need lodging for the night.
And a cup of Earl Grey tea with a spot of milk.
And please don't let it steep too long. Thanks so much.
I'm good.
Lionel Frost.
Sir Lionel Frost, actually.
Um, you seem to have me at a disadvantage.
And that's just how I like it.
Willard Stenk.
Pleased to meet you.
Ah, Stenk.
Yes, I know of your work. You've tracked, trapped and butchered every rare creature from here to Borneo.
Stenk: You're gonna make me blush here. And by my reckoning, there's one that has eluded you for 30 years or more. Is that right?
The Sasquatch appears to have you beat, Mr. Stenk.
The Sasquatch? Ha!
If you think you can do better, Frost, you're out of your mind.
You hear me? Barking mad.
Mm.
Woof.
No. It can't be.
Oh, but I'm afraid it can.
And it is.
And you didn't. And I did.
Mmm. You're beautiful.
Um, can you hold on one second?
I'm uncomfortable.
Don't believe a word of it.
He'd sooner see you stuffed or have your head mounted on a wall, and perhaps use your foot as one of those, you know, buckets you put umbrellas in.
Wha... No, thank you!
Gotta get myself a grip here.
That's better.
Regretfully, Sir Lionel, turns out the job I've been hired to do ain't no fool's errand after all.
Oh?
I've been paid a pretty sum to stop you and this creature from ever reaching civilized society.
Quite a catch.
I get to bag two legends in one day.
Oh, I wouldn't count on it.
Hmm?
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! Uh!
Uh!
Huh.
Oh! Uh!
Yes, I might've known Piggot-Dunceby would send one of his rabid mutts to do his dirty work.
No hard feelings, Frost.
Hyah!
Aah!
Except that one.
Do you think you have things in hand, Mr. Link?
I'll be right back.
Okay.
Oh, no, you don't.
Ooh!
Sorry, old girl.
Oh, blast.
Aah!
Oh, boy. That is gonna let in an awful draft.
Not to worry, Mr. Link.
We're not stopping after all.
It seems Piggot-Dunceby is set on scuppering my success at any cost.
We must make haste for Santa Ana, California.
Lord Piggot-Dunceby! Lord Piggot-Dunceby, a telegram! You have a telegra...
It's from Stenk.
No. It can't be true.
No... Mm.
No one must know of this, do you hear? 
We must redouble our efforts.
Yeah.
Frost must not succeed!
Eh?
Get word to Stenk, and… and tell him to stay on their trail.
Right.
To the end of the world if he has to. 
Do you hear me?
The end of the world!
Very good, Collick.
Run along now.
Collick: Running along, yes, running along. Just running along.
Hmm.
All aboard!
So, how did Mr. Fortnight die, exactly?
Buried by an avalanche on the Hindu Kush.
Didn't know what hit him.
Ow!
I'm gonna say it was the snow that hit him.
He never completed his quest.
Died in the trying.
This feels very confined.
I feel woozy.
Do I look pale? I feel pale.
Oh, stop fidgeting, Mr. Link. You mustn't draw attention to yourself.
Well, I'm not very comfortable stealing a man's clothes.
Well, you can't very well walk around naked. It's indecent.
Yeah, but... I mean, his underwear, too?
It just seems a little...
I mean, I turned them inside-out and all, but...
Is it hot in here?
I think I need some air.
Fine, fine. By all means, crack open the win… dow.
Oh, that's better.
This way, please.
Seora doesn't normally see guests.
Yeah. I'm the same way.
Probably because my cave smells like sh...
Should you perhaps wait here?
Try not to shed on the cashmere.
Do you shed?
Adelina: So, let me see if I understand. You plan to travel all the way around the world to the Himalayas, looking for this, uh, legendary creature. And to do this, you need the map that my dearest husband was holding in his hand when they pulled his poor, dead body out of the ice that killed him on the mountain.
Yes, that's right.
Is this... everything that you are here to say to me?
Did I leave something out?
He was your friend.
Oh, absolutely.
Like a brother to me.
And you did not even go to his funeral.
Yes, well, goodbyes are so tricky.
You and Aldous… what happened to you?
Oh, come, now, Adelina.
I think you know the answer to that.
It was over between us, Lionel. And Aldous was there for me in ways you never were.
Sir Lionel Frost: Yes, how fortunate for you both.
Ugh! I can't even look at you right now.
There.
There?
There, there, Adelina. There's no need to get upset. Such a sensitive creature. It saddens me to see you shut away in this old house, surrounded by memories of times long past. Like a... Like an unhappy bird locked in a cage. You were always such a… such a vibrant, spirited, intoxicating woman.
Stop!
Ow!
What is wrong with you?
You think I cannot see?
You come here because you want something, and you think you can charm me and you can flatter me and I will do just as you say.
Sir Lionel Frost: Um... yes.
No!
No.
So, could we go through it again?
Adelina: Same old Lionel. Eyes only for your legend, for Lionel's prize. You will get out of my house.
Adelina, you have me all wrong.
I... I see how much your husband's legacy means to you.
I would never wish to obtain the map by insincere flimflammery.
No. I will pay you for it.
Get out!
Come along, Mr. Link.
Adelina: Salga de mi casa!
Um...
Adelina: Fuera! Fuera de mi casa! Vyase!
We aren't gonna break in, are we?
I mean, that's against the law.
Oh, please, Mr. Link.
This is America.
Put this on.
Hey, Sir Lionel. Sorry.
Do you have a size bigger?
I think I put a run in it.
On your head. It's a disguise.
We're not here to perform burlesque.
Look, just forget about the stocking.
Here. Now throw this rope over the wall.
What... What did you just do?
Uh, what do you mean?
I threw the rope over the wall.
I didn't mean all of it.
Well, you never said that.
I'm very literal.
Oh, you don't say?
No, I do say.
I just said that right then.
Aren't you listening?
Now what are we gonna do?
You said throw the rope over, so I threw the rope over.
Why don't you just throw this over as well?
Okay.
Oh.
Okay, never mind.
You'll have to climb the wall and pull me up.
Okay, I'm not very good at climbing.
Oh, for pity's sake. Of course you are.
Look at your arms.
Hmm. That's a good point.
That's a good point.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Ah...
Aah! No! Ooh! Aah!
Bravo.
Thank you.
Oh, do hurry up.
You're making too much noise.
Aah! Ow!
Oh, sorry.
Ow.
Do you think you can lift it?
I guess so.
Then get it over to the window and throw it out into the bushes.
I'll keep watch.
What are you doing?
Just one second, please.
Almost there.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Is there a problem?
Why don't you just play a trumpet and sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" while you're at it?
I could give it a try. Oh, but I don't have a trumpet. And I don't know that song that well. Wait. You don't want me to do that. I'm on to you, mister. I am on to you.
I knew it!
You terrible thieves!
A fair assessment.
Oh!
Lionel!
Yes!
Lionel Frost!
I know this is you in there.
Ooh!
I do not even want to know how you got this.
There was a nun.
We mugged her.
Oh, my dear.
I think you've made a mistake.
You're right, it's me.
How could you tell?
Adelina: Give me back my husband's map.
Adelina, I think...
Huh?
Someone is shooting at you, and it isn't me.
Did you steal from him as well?
Oh...
Aah!
We really don't have time for this.
I mean to get to the Himalayas, and I need your map to do it.
Not so fast.
Please, Adelina. What possible need could you have for this?
Something you said to me.
It is time for this unhappy bird to break out of her cage.
Adelina?
That's right, Sir Lionel Frost. And your big, hairy f...
I'm sorry. Who's this?
I'll explain later.
Adelina: Oh, I don't care. The point is, I'm coming with you.
I don't really have a say in the matter, do I?
Adelina: Para nada.
All right, fine.
Quickly!
We must climb aboard!
Huh?
The train is leaving!
Oh!
What? We will miss it.
Change of plan. We must give this villain the slip.
Oh, no, you don't.
Follow me. We must find an alternative route.
No time to dawdle.
Hyah! Hyah!
From New York, we can find passage to London and easily navigate the European continent by rail.
On through India, and from there, it's just a tidy step to the foothills of the Himalayas and our ultimate destination: Shangri-La.
Shangri-La? No!
I can't believe it!
Oh, my goodness! This sounds...
Oh, my goodness!
That is great!
This can't be happ...
What is that, exactly?
Is it a... Is it a place?
It has been called many names: Shambhala, Agartha, the Valley of the Blue Moon.
Legend says it is a place of uncommon beauty.
An earthly Eden where man never grows old.
Actually, Aldous believed that this story was not quite right.
He believed that the valley was not the home of men who had never aged, but of men who had never evolved.
Early man. 
Like me?
Like you.
Yes. Yes, that's right.
An undiscovered civilization of yetis, living and flourishing in isolation.
Quite a tall tale, but I think he was on to something.
And I will follow in his footsteps all the way to the prize.
But I don't see a path to Shangri-La on this map.
Just directions to Gamu?
What's that?
Not what, but who.
The exact location of the mythical valley was thought lost, but Aldous learned...
Aldous, Aldous.
Excuse me, it's my turn.
Carry on.
Aldous learned of a mountain guide named Gamu who knew the secret ways through the mountains.
Aldous believed if we find Shangri-La, we find the yeti.
Yes, and then, Mr. Link, you will at last be united with your lost brethren.
I'm a quiet guy at heart, but do you mind if I just kind of… growl a little bit in excitement?
That was fun.
Yes, let's not get overexcited, shall we?
You know, I really didn't think it was possible.
And yet here you are in front of my face.
I cannot believe it.
All these years, my husband searched for this.
I wish… I wish he could have been here to see it.
Hmm. Poor Adelina.
That does not mean I'm happy about you.
That is really rather unreasonable, I must say.
You know what?
I'm gonna just be over here.
I'm gonna stare out the window for a long time.
Uh!
Oh, my word. Look at...
What is that, the sky?
Hyah! Hyah!
Oh, do hurry it up.
Be patient.
Can't you see poor Mr. Link is nervous?
Oh, believe me, he's got a lot more to worry about than boarding this boat.
What do you mean?
Oh, Adelina.
Let me say this very clearly.
The hunter that follows us will not give up the chase easily.
You understand?
He's still on our tail.
Have no doubt.
If he catches us, he will shoot you dead, skin you, and have your pelt as his hearthrug.
And if that happens, well, then...
I mean, I have...
I'll have no chance of winning my wager.
Lionel!
Dios mio.
Stenk followed them on board a cargo steamer bound for London.
He says he'll deliver them to you, dot-dot-dot, dead or alive, exclamation mark.
Hire thugs.
Bribe the port authorities.
As soon as that ship reaches dry land, we'll be waiting for them.
Hmm.
Come in.
Qué es lo que quiere este ahora?
What do you say to a peace offering?
Eh. I don't mind if I do.
Hmm. Yes, I thought perhaps we might clear the air.
My air?
No, no, no.
My air is clear.
But Mr. Link? I think perhaps his air is all stuffed up.
He thinks so highly of you, Lionel. He really believes in you. And yet you treat him so poorly.
Sir Lionel Frost: Name one time that I've ever treated him poorly. You poke him with your stick. You make him carry your bag like he's your servant. You tell him he smells of wet dog.
Sir Lionel Frost: Yes, I said name one.
Adelina: You put yourself first and always Mr. Link second.
Adelina, that's simply not true.
Is that really what you think of me?
Yes.
Oh, now, steady on...
You do not seem so steady yourself.
Perhaps it is time you made a step in a different direction.
I haven't the faintest idea of what you're talking about.
Hmm?
Look at him. His hope rests in your hand, Lionel. Talk to him.
Sir Lionel Frost: Can't you do it?
Adelina: Go now, or I'll throw you overboard. Go.
Oh. Sir Lionel. I, uh...
was just getting
some fresh air.
Uh... you seem, um, you seem troubled, Mr. Link.
Sir Lionel, have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt inside, like gas, but sadder?
Hmm. Well... yes.
As a matter of fact, I have.
As long as I can remember, I… I wished to become a great adventurer, respected throughout the Empire.
Well, it hasn't quite worked out that way.
Not yet.
But someday.
Yes, someday people will remember my deeds and know my name.
Of course they will.
Your name is gonna go down in history as the world's greatest adventurer.
Now, not the greatest, surely.
At least you have a name.
One of your own, I mean.
I don't think "Mr. Link" really counts.
Well, then… perhaps we might remedy that.
What do you mean?
You must choose a name. Um, a name that has special meaning to you.
Yes, perhaps… perhaps the name of someone in your life who touched you... here.
Mr. Link: My nipple?
Heart. Your heart.
Oh. Yeah.
Well, some years back, there was a young prospector who came to live in the woods to try their luck on the high mountain rivers. One day, they came close to my cave, while out picking berries. And they saw me, and they were just standing there. And when I looked at them, they didn't scream, didn't turn and run away like most people do. They just... They just smiled. And that smile meant the world to me.
Perfect.
And... And what was the prospector's name?
Mr. Link: Susan.
Su... Susan?
Mr. Link: Yeah, Susan. That should be my name.
So, this prospector was a girl?
Mr. Link: Yes, that's correct.
Well, then that is a girl's name.
Mr. Link: Uh-huh.
Well, yes, I… Um... it suits you.
And now… Now we must rest.
We have a long way to go, but I assure you, we will reach the Himalayas and find this lost civilization of yetis, this Shangri-La.
We will find your place.
Good night, uh...
Susan.
Susan.
Wow, that was positively altruistic, if I do say so myself.
Adelina? What's wrong?
What, are you lost for words?
Stenk! Leave her alone.
Your fight is with me.
Mm-hmm.
Put your hands where I can see 'em.
Huh?
Whoa. No.
Give me...
Aah!
Quit yankin' on my shooter!
Lionel, look out!
Get your hands off of him!
Get off of me!
Hey, you! Don't you touch him!
Oh!
Help me!
I got you now.
I can't reach!
The life buoy! The life buoy!
Throw the life buoy!
Okay.
Uh... Aha!
Wha...
Aah!
That's a little bit
below the belt, isn't it?
What?
Oh God. Okay...
I've got ya!
Over here!
Help!
Could you hold on a second?
I am!
I'm here!
Oh!
Yah!
Aah!
Huh?
A monster!
And he's got a defenseless girl!
Monster?
Defenseless?
Get 'em!
Come on!
This way!
Oh, and-and, Mr. Link, keep your trousers on, please.
There's a good chap.
Aw, shoot. The boss ain't gonna like this.
Are you positive about this, Mr. Stenk?
Oh, yeah. A whole lost world is what he said.
Big-footed critters as far as the eye can see.
No!
I won't stand for it.
It's a mockery of man!
A sham of civilized society!
I'll run this game to ground if it's the last thing I do.
All things considered, I think he took that quite well.
Come along, Mr. Link.
We're one step ahead of our adversaries, so let's keep it that way.
And, uh, well, we can enjoy the view while we're about.
Uh, are we gonna need the boat again?
There's so many beautiful things in the world.
Yes.
Oh, Lionel, look.
Oh, remarkable.
This is just like old times, wouldn't you say?
Hmm, yes.
Yes, uh... although the Sasquatch is new.
Aw, he's all tuckered out.
He's come a long way. 
I think we all have.
Oh!
Good morning.
Mm-mm-mm.
Oh, Lionel.
I say, old chap, could you loosen your grip?
My, uh, arms have gone dead.
So, what's going on?
Are we nearly there yet?
Almost, Susan, almost.
We'll soon have you frolicking in the snow with huge, hairy ape-men.
Just you wait and see.
Oh, boy.
A guy could dream.
Yes, this is it.
But, Lionel… where do we go from here?
From here, my dear, we shall rely on my extensive anthropological knowledge and my keen eye for local custom.
Do you understand English?
Yes. Hello? Hello?
Excuse me, sir.
Would you please direct us to Gamu?
Do you understand?
Ga... mu?
The Englishman abroad.
Nyah.
Well, that's a little bit rude.
I said it's rude!
Heh. We are walking untrodden paths through the Himalayas, Mr. Link.
This is merely a local greeting.
Oh.
Pleased to meet you!
Take care.
You seek Gamu?
She's my grandmother. I will take you to her. I must warn you, she does not like visitors, 'cause she is old and rude and prefers solitude.
Moo.
Also, please do not, whatever you do, mention the… Chicken.
The chicken?
Yes, please.
Never, ever mention the chicken.
Of course not.
We understand.
No chicken, got it. Zip.
Uh, greetings, venerable Gamu.
It is an honor.
Mr. Link: What's with the chicken?
What is he talking about?
Hmm, she says you must join her for supper.
I'm sorry, what is this?
Yak stew.
Oh, no, thanks. I don't eat meat.
I mean, I do eat bacon and squirrel and chicken.
No, not chicken.
I eat fish. I said fish.
Sir Lionel Frost: We mustn't insult our host, Mr. Link. Eat it.
Mmm. It's delicious.
Mmm.
Gamu… perhaps we can try some of your tea.
It is made from yak butter.
Um, do you have anything that doesn't come from a yak?
Yak is our life. Yak is milk, meat, clothes, friend.
Unusual bouquet.
And it smells funny, too.
Oh, that is not the tea.
No? What is it?
Dung. We burn it for fuel.
Yak?
Yak, of course.
Cookie?
I really shouldn't be having one of these, but, oh, they're so good.
Mmm!
Gamu, if I may, we have traveled many thousands of miles to find a place lost in the mountains, a place I think you know. Some call it... Shangri-La.
This place you seek is not lost. It is hidden, hidden by choice. Perhaps it is the men who seek it who are lost.
Then you know of it?
Yes, I do.
And I know it is not a place for man. It is not a place for you.
No.
It's for me.
Um...
You have killed my grandmother!
Quick, quick, quick!
Someone should give her the kiss of life!
You're the man for the job.
Mr. Link: How's my breath?
You killed her again!
I was mistaken.
You are right to take him to his kind, where he belongs.
Then you will guide us?
You got to be kidding.
I will give my granddaughter directions.
Go! Get out!
Get out of my house!
I asked you nicely, but I'm not gonna ask you again.
Tell us what you told them!
Oh, Mr. Stenk, you're doing this all wrong.
You mustn't threaten the defenseless old woman.
How about the chicken?
What chicken?
No! You must threaten her defenseless grandson instead.
Over here!
Oh!
Ow!
Oh!
Aah!
Oh! Brother.
Who is it that comes before us?
Sir Lionel Frost.
And if I might ask, how the devil can you speak English so well?
How can you speak English so well?
Well, Eton, obviously.
How do you know I'm not speaking yeti?
Because...
Look, I'm not sure exactly where this is taking us.
Is there anything wrong with staying exactly where we are?
Do you always speak in questions?
I don't know. Do I?
I have a question for you. Why did you guide us here at the tip of a spear?
We do not wield weapons to threaten, but to defend.
That doesn't make them any less sharp.
You speak with some wisdom.
I state the obvious.
Often that is the same thing.
Well, here is an absolute.
We do not seek glory or riches. We're not here to pillage your temple or disturb your tranquility.
We want nothing from you.
Then why are you here?
That is me. Sorry.
Oh, but of course.
The country cousin.
The... redneck.
Actually...
Sorry. Actually, I'd say more… I think it's more… I think it's more of a rust, isn't it? People say red. I find I'm more of an auburn. I have a lot of autumn in me, a lot of autumn colors. Um, so, you know, we… Anyway, I figured maybe there was a place for me here, among you.
Come this way.
So, this is it, Shangri-La.
Myth made real.
Shangri-La?
That is not our name.
We call it… (roars)
How phlegmatic.
What does it mean?
"Keep out. We hate you." This valley is unsullied, precious. And so it shall remain. There is no place for you among us.
But you're my kind, you're my fa... my family.
No. I think not.
It seems to me,
you did not have to travel
halfway around the world
to find your kind.
Man, killer of life,
of hope, of dreams.
Man talks of the magic of the world, but it is a prize, something to be claimed as proof of his worth.
I mean, she has a point.
These secrets you have seen, they are ours, and ours alone.
The outside world must never learn the truths of our sacred valley.
That is something we cannot allow.
She's gonna kill us!
Kill you?
We are not monsters.
Oh!
Oh, gosh.
For a minute there, I thought, just for a second, that maybe you were going...
Throw them into the Inescapable Pit of Isolation and Miserable Disappointment.
Oh. I'm sorry, what?
There, you will spend the rest of your lives pondering your ill transgressions.
You can't keep us here.
It's barbaric!
It is preservation.
You fiends!
Oh, this is awful.
Yes.
I'll be the laughingstock of the club, again.
Yo no puedo creer.
Look at him.
Look!
His dream is crushed, and you… you only talk of yourself.
Well, what about my dreams?
What?
To belong to that silly club?
These men do not like you, they do not respect you, they do not believe the things that you believe.
So, why? Why do you wish to be one of them?
Be... Because...
Because they said I couldn't.
You and Susan are not different at all, wanting to belong in all the wrong places.
You could never understand.
You know something, Lionel? All this time, I'm thinking you care more about these legends you chase than you do about people, but I'm wrong. There's only one legend Sir Lionel Frost really cares about.
Sir Lionel Frost: Is it a unicorn? (then) Oh. Wait. You mean me, don't you?
Adelina: You were never interested in anyone but yourself. And yet, you are surprised that you always end up alone.
Sir Lionel Frost: You have me wrong. I am better than you think I am.
Adelina: Prove it. You talk about proof, but all you offer are words. Where is this great man, Sir Lionel? Where is the proof of him? Where is the proof of his worth? I think perhaps the great Sir Lionel Frost… is a myth.
Sir Lionel Frost: It is time to settle our debt, Susan. I promised I'd take you to the place you belong, and I'm a man of my word. The Elder is right. You don't belong here. Now, get up. We're leaving. Now, hold me tightly.
Mr. Link: Are you... Are you sure? Um, Adelina's watching.
Sir Lionel Frost: What? No, no. I want you to throw me out of the pit.
Mr. Link: Uh, I don't know. I think you might be a little too heavy.
Sir Lionel Frost: Nonsense. Now, give it all you've got.
Oh. It's hard to know whose fault that was.
Let's do it again.
Oh!
Adelina, throw something down.
A rope would be better.
I don't know. Three more of them, and we could build a ramp.
Oh, that feels lovely.
Oh, no!
Um… nice place.
Aah!
The people we don't want here are leaving!
Force them to stay!
Aah!
Tie this to your waist.
We have a treacherous climb ahead of us. Quickly!
I don't think I have my knot... Aah!
This is where it ends, Frost.
I can't allow you to go any further.
Look at you.
Hand in hand with apes and women.
You'll never be one of us.
Sir Lionel Frost: Quite right. I never shall. You know, I really don't care to anymore. I have changed my mind. I... I have evolved.
What? Heh! That's… That's preposterous. 
Of course you want to be one of us.
We are great men! We shape the world!
Sir Lionel Frost: It's funny… I actually used to think that. But now... now I rather think the world shapes us.
That was pretty good, wasn't it?
One of you should write that down.
Excuse me. Can I borrow your...
Hmm?
You would cast aside everything for that… that... thing?
Yes. Yes, I would.
And I'll have you know that that thing has a name.
It's Susan.
That thing is an abomination! That thing is more of a man than you'll ever be. And what's more, he's my friend, which is a far better prize than any fellowship with the likes of you. If you are still intent on doing him harm, then you'll have to find a way through me first.
And me also.
Yeah, and me.
You don't do that.
Oh, yeah. Right.
Go through... Go through them.
You can keep your missing link and your lost world.
You're welcome to them.
No one will ever know what you found here. And no one will ever remember your name.
Uh, my Lord?
Lord Piggot-Dunceby: Order will prevail! Civilization endures!
Mr. Link: You’re a bad man.
Run.
Huh?
Oh, bugger.
Oh!
Oh, no, no!
Ugh! Why am I always dangly?
Are we dead?
Not yet.
Seems you've had your day at last, Frost.
Now... Now here comes the thaw.
It doesn't have to be this way, Stenk. Piggot-Dunceby's gone.
Stenk: It ain't about the paycheck no more. Now it's just a matter of shallow, self-centered pride.
Careful, Stenk. You know what they say pride comes before.
Wait, I know this.
Is it Tuesday?
Hah!
Aah!
Wha...?
Aah!
Susan, try and reach the side!
Oh!
I can't get a hold!
Yes.
Oh, no!
Aah!
I wanted to say thank you for what you said back there.
Ah, don't even mention it.
Okay.
So, what happens now?
I...
I don't know.
Uh, well, it turns out I'm on the lookout for a new valet.
Partner.
Uh, partner.
You wouldn't happen to know anyone, would you?
I could ask around if you want.
Maybe the guy in the village with the tongue. Would he be good?
You, Mr. Link. I mean you.
Mr. Link: Me?
Oh, my goodness!
Yes, then. Well, yes.
Of course! I do know someone!
Hmm.
Look!
Mr. Link: Your utopia sucks!
Come along, Mr. Link.
Mr. Link: Yeah, and get a haircut!
That's enough.
Mr. Link:And your accent's weird!
Bigger person, Mr. Link. Be the bigger person.
You have seen the world.
Remember every moment of it, Susan.
And you, Adelina? What did you see?
Adelina: I saw proof. You are a great man, Sir Lionel. But I deserve greater. It's time I went on my own adventure. Not for you, not for Aldous, not even for you, Susan. But for myself. Goodbye, gentlemen.
Were you leaning in
for a kiss there?
I've been there before, yeah.
I mean, I haven't, but I could imagine that's how it would go down with me, too.
Ooh.
This is it, Mr. Link!
The Fiji mermaid!
This, Mr. Link, might just provide the vital clue I need to the greatest discovery of the century.
Mr. Link: But I thought we did Shangri-La already.
Sir Lionel Frost: No, no. Atlantis.
Mr. Link: You don't say?
Sir Lionel Frost: I do say. I'd swear on it. And you know I'm nothing if not a man of my...
Your word, yes, got it.
Don't dally, my friend.
Adventure awaits.
Ha-ha!
Oh, boy! Do I have time to get my bathing suit? No?
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Category:Laika Transcripts