Rayman Legends Adventures in Home on the Range/Script

Alec beamed as he sat down onto the couch in Joanie's living room. "Oh, boy, this is going to be FUN," he remarked, "a Disney animated movie I've never seen before...truly an amazing experience!"
"Well, you can't go wrong with Disney," Joanie replied, "most of the time. I've always found that movie underrated."
"Yes, it's the same here," Jesse agreed, "although that movie with cowboys and real cows kinda reminded me of The Old West Cowboys of Moo Mesa."
"What," Alec asked, "now THAT looks fun....perhaps I should check that out sometime..."
"It's basically like Ninja Turtles, except with humanoid cows," explained Richie as Alec put in the DVD.
"Heh...yes..." Jesse said.
"I'm not too crazy about this, probably because I'm not a big fan of the Wild West genre, but I can see why people like Jesse would like that," Joanie warned Alec.
"I met them once," Jesse grinned, "it was a solo adventure, where Joanie, Gertie and Patch stayed home while I went to see them."
"Sounds fun," replied Alec, "but for now, let's get lost in our OWN Wild West adventure!"
"Then can I come as well," Richie asked.
"Only if you're well-behaved," Joanie warned him, "do you make easy cuddling, alright?"
"Alright...I'll try..." Richie said after a few moments of silence.
Alec pushed the "Play" button. "Hey, Patch, you and the others or what," he asked Patch, Furball or Two-Tone.
"Huh...no offense, but I think I might skip this one," Patch replied, "warn me anyhow. Um...I think I want to try and see if I can get Furball and Two-Tone to join the Pound Puppies, or in Furball's case, the Kennel Kittens."
"You and the Kennel Kittens are on best terms now," Jesse asked.
"Yes, we're all friends now," Patch nodded, "I made sure of that."
"Well, alright, if you say so," Alec shrugged, "we'll let you know if it's over."
"I'm sorry, guys, next time I promise," Patch grinned.
"Well, it's alright, Spot," Joanie said, "it doesn't hurt to ask though."
"Yes," Patch grinned, "you guys go have some fun with the Wild West."
"Kind of like we did with Fievel that time," Joanie smirked to Jesse.
"Yes, there was that," Jesse remembered.
"At least, I'll be able to experience it this time," Alec replied as the DVD began.
Soon the others sat together as they were about to start a brand new adventure in the Wild West, which made Richie unable to help but sing a little song on the road.
"Out in the land where the men are rough as cactus. Out in the land where the wild, wild west was won. Out in the land of the desperado, if you're soft as an avocado, yee-haw! You're guacamole, son,~" Richie sang to himself, "home, home, this ain't it, pal! Home, home, home on the range. Home, home, better go git, pal! You ain't home on the range~"
Soon a rabbit was seen peeking out of his hole, looking at what seemed like pouring rain, until he glanced up to see a drooling coyote looming overhead. The rabbit shot out of his hole, narrowly avoiding getting munched, as the coyote kept running after him.
"Out in the land where the weak are target practice. Home, home, home on the range. Out in the land where they shoot the mild and meek. Home, home, home on the range~," Richie continued to sing, "out where the bad are an entire lot badder, if you're the type with a hesitant bladder, yip! Yow! Your saddle's gonna reek. Because you ain't home on the range. Cowboy, you're really up the creek! Home, home, home on the range. Home, home, home on the range. Home, home, home on the range. Home, home, home on the range!~"
Soon the rabbit hid under a cow skull before removing it and had a snake on his head, confusing him soon before he ran away with the snake on his head as soon as a group of cowboys were heading out through the desert plains together. The TV began to spark with magical energy once again, and zapped the group into the movie.
"Why am I not surprised," Joanie commented.
"It's like that slumber festival until we met Sly Cooper," Richie said to Jesse.
"Heh. Yes," Jesse chuckled from memory.
"And the time we got sent into Toy Story," Gertie added.
"I guess being sent on a cinematic adventure is nothing new," Joanie commented, "I got sucked into a game once, but it wasn't with Ralph and Vanellope, it was a game of society who was Jumanji."
"Oh, yes...that was crazy," Alec nodded, "wait, are we speaking about the original Jumanji movie or its sequel, Welcome to the Jungle?"
"Yes..." Joanie replied as that story didn't seem to exist yet.
Alec shrugged. "This works for me," he replied.
By the time their discussion had ended, they had found themselves in the Old West, not to mention dressed for the surroundings. They all looked around while adjusting to their new setting. As they walked along, they passed a tree which had a wanted poster that had a man's picture in it known as Alameda Slim.
"My heavens...that guy looks as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel," Joanie glanced at the picture.
"Like a bad banana with greasy black skin," Alec added.
Just over the horizon, five people who looked identical to our group, who were peeking out at them.
"Woah...speak about your little rascals," remarked Alec's counterpart.
"You think they might be from town," Gertie's counterpart wondered.
"That's really weird," Jesse's counterpart replied.
"Well, my goal is to meet them and please them," Richie's counterpart replied, climbing over the rock they were standing behind.
"Cool it! We don't know them, then we better be careful," Jesse's counterpart warned him.
"Well, we can at least try to check them out first, alright," Alec's counterpart asked, "see if they're nice eggs for a bunch of low polecats."
"Huh...alright, we're going to look more closely," Jesse's counterpart replied.
Soon they walked away to their modern day counterpart.
"But if they try anything funny, I'll make them squeak like a pig," Richie's counterpart smirked.
Joanie's counterpart just rolled her eyes.
Soon the main group continued to walk away before running into their Wild Western counterparts and they all ended up on the ground.
"Guys...do they usually have giant mirrors in the Wild West," Joanie asked, rubbing her head.
"You mean like an entertainment house," Richie replied, "I think not."
"Then I think we're looking at our counterparts," said Alec.
"Motocross," Gertie asked as soon as Jesse helped her up to her feet.
"Like the versions of ourselves that exist in this universe, then to speak," Jesse replied, "he granted, they look like us, but they probably have different names."
"You're new to these parts, aren't you," Joanie's counterpart asked.
"Uh...yes...who are you," Joanie replied.
"I'm Jason James Richter," Jesse's counterpart grinned.
"That's good," Joanie smirked.
"I'm Drew Barrymore, but everybody calls me Meg," Gertie's counterpart said.
"I'm Erin Moran," Joanie's counterpart said.
"And people call me Kelly Reno," Alec's counterpart tipped his Stetson, "the big paw is my boyfriend, Ron Howard."
"Uh...nice to meet you guys....." Jesse said to them, "we're, uh...kinda new in town."
"Really now," asked Kelly, "well, stick with us. We'd love to show you the ropes!"
"Heh...grand..." Joanie said.
Soon they walked along together to continue on their newest adventure, even if it was odd seeing Wild West versions of themselves.
"You think Maggie's doing well," Drew asked Jason.
"I hope so...no doubt she feels lonely now," Jason frowned.
"Specifically since that good-for-nothing Alameda Slim came in the night and stole all our cows right from under our noses..." Kelly added.
Soon the Western adventure group took their new friends over to one man, who was with his dairy cow.
"Hello, Mr. Sheriff Sam, sir," Jason greeted, removing his hat, "you all going somewhere with Maggie?"
"Yes, I found her a new home," the man replied, "a special place they call 'Little Patch of Heaven', and that's a farewell to Dixie Ranch."
The cow looked a little mournful about leaving the ranch she had known for her entire life.
"Well...we'll go with her," Kelly piped up, "you know, where she won't be too disappointed to leave her old home behind."
"You children are super nice," the Sheriff grinned to them.
"We know our place," the group grinned back.
"Say, you have some new friends there with y'all," the Sheriff asked.
"Yes...it's family from the city," Kelly replied.
"Well, bring them with you," the Sheriff warned them.
Soon the group grinned before coming to Maggie soon before she spoke up once they were all left alone as he went to get ready for the trip.
"I never thought I'd end up all alone...but I guess that's true.....you can't go home anymore..." Maggie sighed mournfully about the ones she lost.
"Well, wait, no matter how bad facts get...there's probably someone worse than death," replied Kelly, pointing to the rabbit, who was running with the snake yet trying to eat his head.
"Huh...yes, I think..." Maggie replied, "at least I always had you guys."
"Well, your name's Maggie, right," Joanie asked the cow.
"Oh, then now other humans can speak to me," Maggie asked, rolling her eyes, "what is that?"
"Call it a...mutual understanding," Alec replied.
"Heh...well," Maggie smirked a bit.
"Looks like that one has your sense of humor," Erin teased Kelly.
Kelly blushed. "Aw, he's not that bad," he replied.
"I can't believe it.....I knew everyone here last night...and now they're all gone," Maggie frowned.
"Easy rest, Maggie," Drew consoled, "perhaps you'll make some new friends in this Patch of Heaven."
"YES," Kelly replied, "the place sounds really nice, from what I heard!"
"Perhaps you're right," Maggie said.
Soon Maggie's soon-to-be former owner came past out and it was now time to take Maggie to her new home and to leave the old one, which really made her feel a bit brokenhearted. But since she had some new friends with her, it didn't feel so bad.
"Hey, Maggie," Jason called out, "look at your new house!"
Soon Maggie went to take a look and gasped from that. "Hey! A dairy farm? Now we're speaking," she grinned to her human friends, "I hope it's not one of them without fat."
"Ooh, I have a nice idea of this place," Drew beamed.
"Me as well," Gertie agreed.
"You see? What did I warn you about," asked Kelly.
Soon they came to check out the farm as it was another day for all of them with their farmer, who was a kindly old woman known as Pearl Gesner.
"She looks really adorable," Drew grinned about the woman who ran the farm with her family who were the farm animals.
"And look, they've had all kinds of farm animals around here," Alec remarked.
"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO," a chick squawked, alarming the rooster off of the chimney.
"Wait, that's my boy," the rooster grinned to the two cows after falling off of the chimney.
"Can hog! Can hog," three little pigs cried out in despair to a grumpy-looking goat.
"Don't yell at me," the goat frowned to them.
"Oh. The call of duty. Why don't you take care of this, Grace," one cow suggested to the other, who seemed distracted by the delicious hay, "it's time I gave you more responsibility on the farm."
"Really," asked Grace, "thank you, Mrs. C. I'm going to make you proud," and she strolled over to the scene.
The older cow grinned to her as soon as she walked away to see the mess.
"Can hog! Can hog," the three piglets frowned at the goat.
"Drop my suitcase, little smoked sausages," the goat frowned at them.
"Hey, wait! I feel a lot of negative energy here," Grace said as she came over.
"This is our can, and Jeb took that," one piglet pouted.
"And now he says it's his box," another piglet frowned.
"Now, let's not play the game of disgrace and blame," Grace warned them gently, "this is an organic problem, and there's a holistic solution."
"You don't understand this entire farm concept, do you, sister," the goat scoffed.
The piglets glance at each other, until one shouts, "MURDER THE GOAT," and they all attack him, yanking his beard and grappling the can.
Grace frowned as she was unable to do anything about this. Soon the older cow came over, catching the can with her tail, seeing the squabble.
"We're very sorry, Mrs. Calloway....." the piglets said lowly once they saw her.
"Piggies, why can't you leave Jeb alone," Mrs. Calloway sighed to the piglets.
"Yes! Why not you," Jeb added with a frown.
"The poor old goat needs peace and calm."
"That's true! I need it!"
"Then run and take your box with you," Mrs. Calloway said, tossing the can far off for the children to play with.
"Yes, you take that box and–––––" Jeb added until he realized what just happened, "hey! Wait! Come back here, you small pieces of bacon!"
"Jeb," scolded Mrs. Calloway, "don't you have enough tin cans?"
"No," Jeb replied, despite the huge pile of cans behind him.
Soon the adventure groups made it over to speak with Pearl about keeping Maggie.
"I'd be happy to take her in, Abner," Pearl grinned to the man, "there's always room for one more."
Maggie seemed to grin brightly and hopefully from that.
"Well, thank you, Pearl," Abner replied with a light chuckle, "I have to warn you, though. She's...she's a bit stubborn."
"Oh, now, don't worry, Abner," Pearl grinned as she petted Maggie to console her, "I'm sure she'll fit in just fine."
"Plus, the children here would love to visit each other as well," Abner said about Jason, Erin, Ron, Kelly and Drew, "they mean the world to each other, especially with Maggie."
"Yes, she's like family time," Kelly sniffed, "and considering I never had any, I care about her a lot!"
"You're all welcome to stay as long as you wish," Pearl grinned to the youngsters.
"Thank you kindly, Ms. Pearl," replied Ron, "that's very kind of you."
"I'm doing my best," Pearl grinned as she let them all come inside with Maggie.
"So long, Pearl," Abner called out to the woman, "you take care of yourself now."
Soon a hen panicked and ran over to the cows on the farm. "Mrs. Calloway! Oh! Mrs. Calloway! Mrs. Callo----" she gasped to take a breath once she found them, "Mrs. Calloway, there's a newcomer at the door."
"Not now, Audrey," Mrs. Calloway warned the hen.
"But it's a big----" the hen panicked.
"Everyone," Pearl grinned to her farm animals before introducing the new cow on the farm. "This is Maggie here. Now I want you to make her all feel at home," she added.
"Hey, everyone, it's big to be here at Patch of Heaven," Maggie smirked, "don't everyone speak at once. What is this, the frozen food aisle?"
Kelly and Alec snickered a little at that.
"Eh...is that fact on," Maggie asked, using her bell as a microphone.
This yell was so loud that it echoed across Patch of Heaven. "The mike's on, but you're not," Joanie smirked.
"Easy now, Four Eyes," Maggie glowered.
"Ahem. Hello, uh...Maggie," Mrs. Calloway came to greet Maggie, "what a wonderful surprise to find another bovine joining the ranks."
"Phony," Jeb coughed to himself, only to get a can forced onto his muzzle to shut him up.
"I'm Mrs. Calloway," Mrs. Calloway began.
"Hello," Grave waved her hoof.
"And this is Grace."
"Hi."
"No applause and trophies here, I'm afraid," Mrs. Calloway explained, "just the fruits of our best and honest work."
"Hi," Grace yet waved.
"Is that true," Maggie asked, "I remember these days......"
"Wow..." said a piglet, "you're the biggest cow that I have ever seen!"
"If you're responsible, I'll take that as a compliment," Maggie smirked.
"Uh..." the piglet paused.
"If you're not, then we'll come after you," Ron smirked, going to sit with Maggie.
"TAKE IIIITTTTT," the piglet panicked before running.
"Hey, we're joking," Maggie laughed, holding onto the piglet before moving her tail behind his ear, bringing out an apple, "say, what did you get stuck in your ear?"
"Woah," the piglet beamed from that.
"Here, have an apple, boy," Maggie grinned, putting the apple in his mouth, "but stay away from the luaus."
"You can understand us," Mrs. Calloway asked the human, well mostly human, group.
"Yes, pretty much," Alec nodded.
"Interesting...." said Mrs. Calloway, "I don't even know how that's possible."
"The impossible is just possible," Jesse replied.
"We're just an amazing group like that," Jesse agreed.
"Hey, Maggie, I think you've had something in my ear," Drew smirked to the cow.
"Ooh, I think you're right, boy," Maggie chuckled, taking a corn on the cob out of her ear. "Here it is! This one's for me," she tossed it up in the air before catching it in her mouth to gulp down, letting out a small burp, "ah, that was good..."
"Awesome," the children beamed before running over to the vegetable pile, throwing food at the cow to do her trick again, "awesome! Do it again! C'mon, c'mon! Do it again! Do it again!"
"Wow! That's a grand tip," Alec exclaimed.
"Where'd she learn to do that," Joanie wondered.
"I taught her," Ron grinned bashfully.
"Yes. I was really proud of that as well," Kelly replied.
Soon Maggie did her special trick for the piglets with various other vegetables.
"Maggie's fun, isn't she," Grace grinned.
"Teaching pigs to throw food," Mrs. Calloway sighed from that, "as if they weren't sloppy enough."
One piglet tossed an ear of corn, and Maggie ran up the wall of a chimney and caught it, landing on Jeb.
"Heheh, gotcha now, goat," Joanie smirked to Jeb.
Soon Maggie let out another burp, which made the piglets all burp together at once.
"Ugh...stop this," Joanie moaned from disgust.
"I'm sorry," Alec replied, snapping his fingers and making it stop.
"Does anyone else hear anything," Jesse asked.
"Probably not," Joanie said, "what do you hear?"
"Sounds like a gallop," Jesse replied.
"Alright, who's up for a game of Tic-Tac-Toe," Maggie grinned to the children, taking one of Jeb's cans with her tail.
"But wait! It's a family heirloom," Jeb frowned.
Alec swiftly placed the group to the side, as a horse jumped over the fence.
"I was right," Jesse grinned.
"Yes, you were right," Joanie replied.
The horse ended up knocking the can into the air, where it bounced off the windmill.
"Awesome," exclaimed the piglets.
"Ooh, bad luck," Mags," Drew said to the cow.
"Who's the best," Maggie frowned.
"Oh, it's Buck," the mother pig beamed.
"Uh! Townswoman," Mrs. Calloway rolled her eyes.
"Oh! Hey! Wait! Dagnabbit, Buck! Calm down," the Sheriff warned his horse, trying to calm him down, "this isn't a rodeo."
"Why, hello, Sheriff," Pearl greeted the Sheriff, "is that ugly horse yet walking off from you?"
"Oh, uh...hello, Pearl," the Sheriff said to the woman before holding out a paper for her, "I came out to bring you another bank note. This'll be the last."
Soon the farm animals crowded the two humans as they kept speaking as this didn't sound like good news.
"Every time I get a low crop, they send me out of these notices," Pearl grumbled, "they'll get their money sure enough."
"That doesn't sound right," Ron said to the others.
"Csendes," Jason and Erin silenced him.
"It's an entire new shooting game now, Pearl," the Sheriff warned the woman as he handed her the paper as this was very serious, "the bank's claiming everybody's debt. They're losing money so badly with all the ranchers sinking. I'm warning you, if they don't get their money in three days, they're going to auction off Patch of Heaven."
"Then we have to find a fashion to get the money and save Patch of Heaven," replied Kelly.
"But how," Jason pondered to himself.
"What? No...but...they can't take my place," Pearl frowned to the Sheriff, "why, I've been here through tornadoes, blizzards. Pearl, uh...Pearl, this is my home."
"I'm sorry, Pearl. I'm really sorry," the Sheriff frowned back, removing his hat.
"Yes, well...'I'm sorry' won't save my farm," Pearl sulked.
"Well, Buck, I hope you're proud of yourself," Mrs. Calloway frowned at the passing horse.
"Actually, I am," the horse smirked, "thanks for asking."
"Wait a moment...." replied Alec, "hey, guys, remember that poster of that Alameda Slim character?"
"Yes," the others replied.
"If he's as hated as they say...perhaps it was a wanted poster! And wanted posters offer rewards, don't they," asked Lionel, "well, then perhaps we can track down this creep and get the reward money back!"
Soon the others looked to each other.
"Yes," Ron beamed, "let's catch that vermin!"
"Alright, just call us...the Terrific Ten," remarked Kelly.
"Well, I think we all know what's going on now," said Jeb.
"Jeb, don't start," said Mrs. Calloway.
"Now we are all eaten," Jeb replied.
"Jeb," reprimanded Mrs. Calloway.
"What? What? You don't think people in town eat animals," asked the goat.
Audrey scoffed. "But who would eat a chicken," she asked, snickering.
"I would," said Alec.
"Me as well," said Kelly.
"C'mon, guys. There has to be something we can do," said Maggie.
"What? What have we done," asked Audrey.
"This just isn't fair....." said Ollie the pig.
Maggie's eyes lit up. "Right! Well done, Curly," she exclaimed.
"Ollie," the pig corrected.
"Right. Ollie," nodded Maggie.
"Uh...what is this," the pig asked.
"Look," said Maggie, "what if I warned you.....that you could make a lot of money and see beautiful downtown Chugwater if you went to the County Fair?"
Kelly's hat shot off her head like the cap from a soda bottle. "The County Fair? OH, BOY," he exclaimed giddily, "can we go? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? PLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEE?!"
"Thank you for your input, but..." started Mrs. Calloway.
"C'MON!! Let the new cow speak," shouts a duck.
"New cow! New cow! New cow," chanted the other animals.
"C'mon, Mrs. C. You have a really nice group here," urged Maggie, "I see real potential!"
"Aw, shit," smirked the duck.
"Now the fair is in two weeks. I say we go to town, butter that sheriff's horse, and ask him to give us more time," explained Maggie as Grace trotted over to her.
"What are we waiting for, Maggie? Let's go," she replied.
"YIPPEE," Kelly cheered, "we're a-going to the county fair~!"
"That's right," Maggie nodded before looking to the older cow, "what do you say, Calloway?"
"Bah! Absolutely not," Mrs. Calloway huffed, "I won't abandon Pearl until she needs such a ridiculous plan. She'd be disheartened if she found us missing. As far as I'm worried, that's not an option!"
"Alright. As you wish," Maggie huffed as she went to walk away with Grace and the others, "c'mon, guys. We have a farm to save."
Grace glanced back and soon went to follow Maggie and the others. "Oh, you'll have to excuse her," she warned the others about Mrs. Calloway's decline in joining their adventure, "she's just a little uptight."
"Stern," Maggie snorted, "what's her specialty, sour cream?"
Alec snorted at that.
"Guess we'll have to go ahead without her," Erin suggested.
"Sure it looks," Jason agreed with a nod.
"That's too bad," Drew pouted.
"Going to town," Mrs. Calloway scoffed and rolled her eyes, "of all the misconceptions, I–"
Then there was chirping heard, which made Mrs. Calloway look down to see four chicks looking up at her in silence.
"Now don't look so bad at me. I know what you're going to say," Mrs. Calloway said to the chicks, "that the others will need someone with my eye for detail to keep them on the right track."
The chicks continued to stare at her in silence.
"Say no more. I'm going," Mrs. Calloway warned them as soon as she went to leave the farm as well. "Now, tut-tut. No soft farewells, my little ones. You know how I get an overly emotional display," she called out to the others on her road out, "ahem. Ladies? Gentlemen?"
"Huh," Kelly asked, "looks like you changed your mind."
"Uh...uh...I'd rather not speak about this," Mrs. Calloway replied.
"It's a chick fact," Grace warned the others.
Soon the chicks high-fived each other in success as Mrs. Calloway followed the others out to adventure. Soon the farm animals called out farewells and good luck as they left the farm.
"Alright...looks like we're outta here," Kelly whooped, "YEE-HAW!!"
"Rawhide," Ron added with a laugh.
"I think you and us will get along just fine," Richie chuckled to their Wild West counterparts.
"Same here," Jason beamed.
"Don't worry, Maggie, we'll help you," Erin said, "it's been that fashion for a long time."
"You guys are close to Maggie, right," Jesse asked the Wild West group.
"Of course," Jason grinned, "we're best friends."
"Yes," Kelly replied, "I never would've met this group if it wasn't for Maggs. She's like a sister!"
"That sounds like a grand story," Gertie said to the group.
"Oh, that is," Kelly nodded, "Maggs was how I met Erin...and she introduced me to the others!"
"Are we going to see a flashback," Joanie asked.
"Might be a nice idea," Jesse replied.
Joanie shrugged and soon let it happen.
"Oh, c'mon, c'mon, darling," said Barnaby, "I'm offering way more than the places are worth. Even your father would have seen it."
"Mr. Barnaby, the factory is not for sale," replied Mary, "Dad built this factory. Without it, there would be no Toyland."
"Er...how true," said Barnaby, "which makes the idea of the old factory closing double harrowing, doesn't it?"
"Why would we close," asked Mary.
"No toy orders from Santa Claus," said Barnaby, "it's all over in Toyland. The Tom Piper never came back from the North Pole. I even had the elves head to dinner."
"Oh, really," asked Tom, "and how do I like this?"
"As for staying out of this Pied Piper," said Barnaby, "and since Santa's order is the mainstay of his business. PIPER?!"
"Hey, how are you," asked Tom.
"Barnaby, this meeting is over," said Mary, "take your money and go."
"I'll take that as a no," said Barnaby, "but if I come back, but it won't be an offer...it's an ultimatum."
Later, Snoopy was tied to a fence by a thick rope wrapped around his neck. "Why did I think it was a good idea to try a child's friendship," he asked himself as Woodstock flew over, "Woodstock, get me out of this."
"Normally, I'd say I warned you, but we have other facts to deal with," Woodstock said as he tried pecking at the rope in hopes of making it come undone.
But much too soon, Woodstock was caught in a butterfly net, courtesy of the girl. "Boy, I found a lost bird," she said proudly and ran to her house. "Hey, Ma! I've found a lost bird! Ma," she entered her house, "I have a bird, Ma! To add to my collection, Ma. A dog and a bird."
Outside, Snoopy sighed. "It's hard for us to get out of here now."
Inside the girls' bedroom, Woodstock was locked in a birdcage, much to his own dismay. 'That's very humiliating,' he thought.
The girl spoke to herself. "This is amazing. I have two pets. Hey, Ma, I've found two pets! A sheepdog and a parrot!"
'Parrot? This girl seriously doesn't know her animals,' Woodstock thought, feeling more embrrassed by the moment.
"Hey, Ma! Can I keep them, Ma?!"
'She seriously likes to call her mother,' Woodstock thought as he sulked on his bird perch.
Back outside, Snoopy saw the girl run up to him. "Hi, puppy! Mum says I can keep you."
'Heavens, no,' Snoopy thought.
"Boy, I've always wanted a dog," she said while Snoopy was trying to scoot off of her until she pulled him back, setting him back down, "I hope I give you a best dog name."
"Oh, somebody will murder me now," Snoopy said while Clara only heard barks coming out of his mouth.
"Rex," she asked herself. "Hey, how about Rex," she asked Snoopy, who responded with a gagging sound. "Here Rex, here Rex, here," she motioned for him to come while making a few kissing noises until eventually, she caught Snoopy by the two front paws and shook him around while singing horribly with a lot of rhyming in it and danced around foolishly. She dropped Snoopy down, who looked dizzy from all the shaking he received due to her.
She picked him up against squeezing the daylights out of him while the rope was connected to him was being overturned. She let go and the rope pulled Snoopy back so fast he smashed into the fence while Clara continued dancing around foolishly and singing about she and Snoopy having "Fundamental Friend Dependability".
She caught him again and spun him around, sending him smashing back into the fence yet again. 'This is hurting me,' he thought. She struck a pose while Snoopy continued to think. 'Whoever taught this girl to sing should be dragged into the streets to shoot.'
Clara once again called out to Snoopy. "Here, Rex! Here, Rex! Here," she untied the rope from the fence and started tugging on it while it dragged Snoopy by the throat, practically choking him. "Heel, Rex! Heel! Heel, Rex! Heel," she dragged him inside the house and into her bathroom.
"The first fact to do with you, Rex, is to shower you."
'Take a bath with me,' Snoopy thought in shock.
"I think you like a bath, because my dog really needs to be clean. Right, Rex," she asked as she untied the rope around Snoopy's neck. "Alright! In you go, Rex," she dunked Snoopy in the bathtub filled with water and started washing him with suds getting all over as he restrained.
"Oh, heavens, get rid of me! If I were a man, the girls would never wash me hard," he called while Clara continued to sing while washing him by dunking him in and out almost like she was trying to drown him.
Getting agitated by her singing and forceful bathing, Snoopy started lashing about as Clara attempted to keep him under control. "Down, Rex! Heel, Rex! Heel!"
"I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore," Snoopy jumped out of the tub and ran around in a circle with Clara chasing him. "Rex, Rex! You're a naughty dog! Rex! Down, boy! Bad dog! Heel, Rex. Heel!" Seeing the door shut, Snoopy couldn't escape and jumped back into the tub where Clara started molding the suds in Snoopy's head into weird clown-like fashions.
"I'm glad you like bathrooms," she said.
"Not from you, I'm not," he grumbled.
She pulled him out of the tub and dried him away. "I want you to be really clean where we can play dress-up."
'I've never bathed in my life,' Snoopy thought, feeling traumatized.
Then Clara brought Snoopy into her room where Woodstock noticed him. "What just happened," he cawed in his bird language.
"Don't ask," Snoopy barked as Clara ordered him, "down, Rex. Down, boy."
Snoopy sighed as he did so while frowning. "Stay, Rex. Stay. I'll close the door where you don't run off. Then we play with dolls. Alright," she grinned while closing the door and walked off.
"Snoopy," Woodstock cawed.
"Yes, I know how demanding that is," Snoopy sighed.
"Where are we going from here," Woodstock asked.
"As soon as I made the plan," Snoopy responded.
Clara came back, holding some stuff, dropping it in front of Snoopy. "I always need a sheepdog. You stick with me, Rex," she made him stand up and slipped a purple dress on him and put a blue hat on his head while continuing her annoying song.
She sat him on a stool and set up a small table while he crossed his arms, clearly not enjoying this. Suddenly, Clara was dressed in a long green dress and white apron while dancing from left to right, holding a tray of tea, yet singing. She placed the tray of snacks on the table and started pouring the tea, but was so caught up in singing that she didn't concentrate on how much she poured into the cup. Some of it spilled out and got on the dress Snoopy was forced to wear.
"Hey, look where you're pouring," Snoopy barked in dog language.
Clara noticed the stain and frowned at him. "You stubborn dog, your dress is filthy."
"Me? You're the one who doesn't stop pouring," Snoopy barked.
"I should hit you!"
"What," Snoopy barked and was suddenly caught by Clara, who started spanking him while Snoopy cried, "hey! Leave me alone! Heidi, leave my hand! ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT," he attempted to break free.
"DOWN, BOY, DOWN," Clara ordered until he broke free, got out of the dress and ran to the door, banging on it and pulled on the doorknob, willing to get out, "here, Rex! Down, Rex! Bad dog! Bad dog! Come back, Rex! Here, boy!" Then Snoopy went to the phone in her room.
"I don't care if Molly and the pigs can't hear me, I have to try," he picked up the phone and dialed. He listened for the dial tone until he heard a click. "Whoops," he said, noticing Clara ended the call, took the phone, putting it back on the receiver and caught Snoopy by the ear, dragging him away.
"Hey, leave my ear alone, you jerk," Snoopy ordered, but only came out as yelps.
Woodstock watched as Snoopy was dragged out of the room. "Oh, that poor soul."
"Then that's how it happened," Jesse grinned, "sounds like a cute friendship adventure."
"And the story continues to this day," Paul replied, "Eglantine, Emelius and Charlie are yet my best human men, and I yet have issues with my dear Carrie!"
"Interesting," Jesse grinned.
After a while of traveling, Grace began to sing, but it sounded a bit annoying painful.
"You'd better hurry around that mountain, because I can't take this much longer," Maggie grumbled.
"Maggie, can I be frank," Mrs. Calloway asked.
"Only if you let me wear the hat," Maggie smirked, nudging up against her.
"Ahem. Rude remarks may work for you, but we prefer the polite approach," Mrs. Calloway said.
"Well, it's better for her to ask a sock soon," said Maggie, "the vultures are starting to surround."
Overhead, a pair of turkey vultures were hovering about in circles.
"Wait," called Paul, "she's not dying!"
The vultures stopped.
"You sure," one asked, "we could wait!"
Grace continued to sing her little song, oblivious to the world around her.
"We'll keep you posted," Maggie called to the vultures.
"False alarm, Clem," the vulture warned his friend.
"Roger dodger, be like the wind," the other vulture replied before flying away together.
"Hey, guys, how do we find the sheriff's office if we get into town," Grace asked as she walked over to them.
"Elementary, my dear Grace," Jesse stated in his detective voice, "if we find that horse, we'll find the sheriff."
"That horse is a legend in his own mind..." Mrs. Calloway remarked as they kept on walking.
Then the others shared a laugh to that as soon as they walked away together into town. Emelius looked to Paul and Carrie before pouting.
"Oh, put your chin up, mate," Jesse grinned, "perhaps you'll meet a best......uh...Filly's Roadhouse."
"Yes," Gertie replied, "everyone has that special someone out there, just keep looking!"
"Yes...you're right..." Emelius grinned.
"Trust me, mate, I know how you feel," Richie replied before winking to Alec.
Richie winked back and gave a thumbs-up. Soon they continued their journey into town.
Then we were shown a scene that looked like it came from a cliche Wild West flick as Buck the horse was shown to be karate fighting against evil cowboys like he was awesomely talented, which had to be too good to be true, and it was.
"Buck. Earth to Buck? Buck," a voice called as Buck showed some karate moves until he looked around, seeing he was past the sheriff's office with an old dog in front of him, showing a game of three in ground, "it's your move."
Buck gasped and looked around, seeing that he was only dreaming. "Ohh...great."
"You were sleep-walking again," the dog said to him, "almost dropped a shoe. You've been doing that ever since the Sheriff's niece disappeared."
"I'm sorry, it feels like all the other horses are out there, fighting bad guys and taking names," explained Buck. He whipped his reins around a pole, but ended up pulling himself towards it and clonking himself in the head. "Who put this here?"
"Oh, Buck, this isn't Dodge City, but we have our share of emotion, and I'm sure little Priscilla will be home before we know that," the dog said, scratching himself.
"Hey, sheriff! I waited a long time to give you this," a booming voice announced, awakening the Sheriff instantly, making him look up and around and saw that he had company, "telegram!"
"Oh, hello, Morse," the Sheriff grinned curiously, "what do you have there?"
"Huh...I've had Cotton-Eyed Joe. Stop," the man began to read aloud, "bring him in today. Stop. Have money ready. No sign of your niece though, but I'll keep trying. Signed, Rico."
"Ha! Oh, yes! Rico already caught another one," the Sheriff remarked, "I could give him the key to my safe."
Buck smirked. "Hear that, Rusty? Rico's coming," he exclaimed.
"Yes, Rico. I'm old. I'm not deaf," said Rusty.
"Wow, wouldn't that be the life," asked Buck. "Riding with Rico, cleaning up the west. Kicking the bad guy in the back. Whoo! Wah-yah! Watch out, dummy," he made more karate noises.
The game of three was shown to be ruined, which frustrated Rusty as he lay on the ground while Buck continued to have his own little fun.
Meanwhile, the others were shown to be in town.
"Alright, guys, let's go in," Maggie warned the others as they went into town.
Grace gasped once she realized something. "Look! There are no fences. Which stops people from wandering around," she asked.
"They seem to be tame," Mrs. Calloway said before seeing the people going about their normal business, "it doesn't feel dangerous at all."
"It's perfectly safe," Maggie assured, "silent like a farm at milking time."
Just then, two children set off a firecracker.
"What was that," asked Mrs. Calloway, "it's a firefight!"
All over, people were doing facts that seemed to spook the cows.
"Hit the earth," yelped Maggie.
"Who LIVES like this," asked Mrs. Calloway as the cows, and their friends ran into an alleyway.
"Hey, calm down," Joanie warned them, "it's not a shooting gallery!"
"Look, there's a star on that door," Mrs. Calloway pointed out as she ran with the other animals.
"That must be the sheriff's office," Maggie guessed as they ran in there.
Soon the two groups ran after the cows, but soon stopped.
"Damn...they walked into the living room," Jesse realized.
"That's going to create a lot of confusion..." Paul replied.
"Should we go after them," Emelius asked.
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Joanie said hesitantly.
"Well, we have to keep them out of danger," Alec replied, "we'd do the same for any of us."
Paul sniffled. "Oh, my heavens, buddy...you're a real bunch of buddies that's for sure," he grinned.
"We tried," Alec grinned back.
"C'mon, let's go," Joanie said.
Soon they came in through the door where there were some showgirls singing for the patrons, but their singing wasn't exactly emotional or engaging.
At last, the three cows made it in, which alarmed the showgirls instantly and vice versa.
"TAKE OUT THESE ANIMALS FROM THE STAGE," the barmaid yelled out.
The showgirls growled like pit bulls.
"Perhaps we came at a bad time," asked Grace.
"Take etttttt," the showgirls called out and ran towards their intruders.
Soon Mrs. Calloway ran away as soon as Maggie ran up to one of the showgirls and butted against her.
Paul caught her, spun her like a wrestler and tossed her aside. "Stay away from my friend," he snapped.
"I see the cow really means a lot to him," Joanie said.
"Sure," Carrie replied, "these two are closer than the bark of a tree."
Mrs. Calloway yelped as she stepped into a spittoon and went sliding across the floor before smashing into a table, which made two cowboys laugh.
"How dare you," a showgirl frowned as she chased after Grace.
Soon the showgirl that Paul handled went flying down the bar table and ran into one cowboy as a wid slid off, showing she was actually a man.
"Daddy," the man who caught him asked.
"Son," the other man replied.
"Alright...uncomfortable....." Gertie said.
Soon Mrs. Calloway opened her mouth to find a pair of golden dentures inside before spitting them out. A guy was shown to be drinking his beer until he got hit by the dentures, but then landed in another guy's beer.
"I say..." the man mumbled, only to get hit by the man who got hit.
"That's it," the waitress frowned and soon threw out the three cows, "get out of here, ladies! Go ahead!"
"And don't come back," the guy cried out in grief as he came out to them, only to be dragged back inside by the barmaid, "that was the best show we've ever had!"
"THAT...was close," said Paul.
"Is everyone alright," asked Charlie.
"Yes, we're fine," Joanie said, "at least that wasn't as chaotic as I thought it'd be."
"And it was thankfully brief," Paul added.
Grace moaned as she looked a bit dizzy. "What kind of sheriff's office is this," she asked.
"Dancers, gambling...ha," Mrs. Calloway huffed from the water trough, "how does she manage to do anything?"
"If that's the sheriff's office, this town is cool," Maggie laughed.
"I don't think it was the sheriff's office," Paul replied.
"It wasn't, it was a saloon," Joanie replied.
"Oh, man..." Richie said.
"That wasn't too bad, Richie," Joanie said, "I mean, sure, we met a drag queen in a Disney movie, but..."
"No, not that," Richie said, pointing over to a horse who walked past.
"Well, if it's not three milkers," Buck smirked to the cows, "girls, a little far from home, right?"
"Then what if we are," Paul asked.
"Well, if it's not The Polar Express," Carrie frowned before taking out the form that Pearl was given, putting it in front of the horse and dog, "we want to speak to you about this."
"What's that," Buck asked.
"What is this," Rusty repeated.
"I think you left this on our farm," Maggie replied.
"Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a moment," Buck said to them, "the place went bankrupt. Your farm is history."
"Don't you heifers get it," Rusty added before going away with Buck, "this boy is a genuine article."
"That's why we need a little more time," Paul explained, "let's go to the fair and get the money to save the farm!"
"Yes! We'll make $60! At least," Maggie added.
"Ah-ah-ah. You have three days to pay or be on your road," Buck smirked, "and 60 bucks isn't enough."
"Looks like you need....huh, I'd say..." Rusty said before sniffing the paper as that seemed to help him count up how much money they needed, "750 of them."
"But, Maggie, where are we going to get all that money from," Grace wondered.
"Well, perhaps Maggie can get it out of her ear," Mrs. Calloway smirked.
"I warned you, we have an idea if the fair doesn't work," Paul replied.
"Always have plans no matter what may happen," Emelius added out of emotion.
"Yes," Paul nodded to his friend.
Suddenly, the heavens turned dark.
"Wuh-oh..." Eglantine said, "it must be a storm coming. I can always warn."
"No, it's not a storm," Buck grinned out of emotion, "it's Rico."
"Rico," the others asked.
As the heavens got dark, everyone could warn it was about a guy named Rico, who had a big reputation in this town.
"This Rico must be a pretty big guy in this town," Paul remarked.
"Boy, you have no idea," Buck smirked as soon as a mysterious man came into town.
Soon a bug flew past the mysterious stranger until he silenced it, making it fly off.
"You don't know a hero if you see one, do you," Buck frowned before beaming to the mysterious man who approached the Sheriff, "that's Rico, the best bounty hunter this side of the Pecos."
"Cool..." Charlie and Jesse whispered.
"Interesting," replied Alec and Paul.
"This feels creepy...." Joanie commented about the doubles.
"Just do it," Gertie suggested.
"Well, I don't know if I can trust him," Carrie said, referring to Rico.
"I could guess between now and tomorrow, but I don't know how you do it, Rico," the Sheriff grinned as soon as Rico tossed over his latest victim.
"Where's my money," Rico growled.
"Well, alright, I found it here for you," the Sheriff grinned as he paid the bounty hunter.
"Hey, they're giving away free money," Maggie grinned to the others as she came over.
"Oh, Maggie," Mrs. Calloway moaned and rolled her eyes.
"Really, Maggs," asked Paul, "then let's help ourselves!"
"These guys aren't too smart, are they," Joanie mumbled to herself.
"Oh, they're fine," Alec replied, "they just don't understand how some facts work."
"Huh," Joanie let out a small snort.
"Well, who else is out there," Rico asked the Sheriff.
"The only vermin left is that seedy, best-for-nothing Alameda Slim," the Sheriff said, taking the wanted poster, "cattle rustler. I bet he took my darling marmalade suckle."
Then Rico took the poster away from him before asking, "what's the bounty?"
"£750," the Sheriff replied.
"What did I warn you about," asked Alec to Paul, "we fantastic 10 are going to track down that useless cattle rustler and claim the bounty!"
"Hey, boy," Paul beamed in response.
"I am deeply insecure about this," Mrs. Calloway remarked.
"Oh, wake up and smell the alfalfa," Maggie grinned, "it's perfect!"
"I'm going to need a fresh horse," Rico warned the Sheriff.
Buck gasped to that like a fanboy.
"Huh...a horse. A horse. Let me think," the Sheriff replied while Buck tried to show off what he could do where that Rico would take him along for the ride, "I guess you'd want a fast horse, right? Very fast? Of course, it would also have to be able to go days without eating or drinking, stealthy, safe on any terrain. Well, uh..."
"What about that horse," Rico suggested.
The Sheriff chuckled as he held onto his horse. "What, you mean Buck here? Wow, I don't know. Buck's fast, he's fine, but he's a bit of a troublemaker."
"He will," Rico said as he put his saddle onto the horse.
"Well, as you wish," the Sheriff allowed.
"Hey, Rusty! Rico's saddle," Buck squeaked out of emotion, "I'm wearing Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle!"
"Great," Rusty rolled his eyes, walking off from the horse, "I'll leave you guys alone."
"He's being pretty ridiculous, isn't he," asked Paul. Alec nodded in agreement.
Maggie's eyes lit up. "I found it! Why don't we catch that Alameda Slim and use the reward money to save the farm," she asked.
"Oh, that's a sensible idea," replied Mrs. Calloway sarcastically.
"I knew you'd love it," Maggie beamed, "and the others will as well!"
"Speaking of a crazy horse," Joanie said, referring to Buck, acting like a fanboy.
Soon Richie laughed out loud and long from that. "Crazy horse! That's a nice one, Joanie," he slapped her back while laughing.
Joanie felt a bit stiff from that, shaking off some pain, though she wasn't completely mad as she knew that he didn't mean to hurt her.
"No, no, NO," Mrs. Calloway protested, "there's no fashion in Heaven or Earth that cows and children can catch an outlaw."
"You're right," Joanie said in a bit of a strained voice before taking a breath, "ahh...so much better."
"Look, all we have to do is follow this wagon to a cattle drive," Maggie warned her before soon she found some vegetables behind the wagon and began to eat them, speaking with her mouth complete, which splattered food everywhere, "and then, you see, we let the bad guys come to us."
Mrs. Calloway moaned as some food got in her face before frowning. "We have no reason to believe this wagon is headed for a cattle drive."
"Hey, Tommy," a passing donkey grinned to the longhorn steer up front, "have fun on that cattle drive!"
"Alright, then," the steer replied as he got into position, "uh-huh."
"Your evidence, clear as day," replied Paul, "need we say more?"
"I think it's headed for a cattle drive," Grace whispered.
"Duh," Richie said as even he could see that.
"Csendes...we're not going to follow this car, and that's final," Joanie warned them.
"Aw, c'mon, Calloway," Maggie said, nudging her, "this'll be fun!"
"Yes," replied Paul, "besides, we're not exactly complete with options! This might be just what we need to catch Slim, but wait!"
Mrs. Calloway looked annoyed while being nudged.
"It's the best we've had besides the state fair plan," Carrie said before looking to Maggie, "it's alright, Mags, you better leave it."
"I'm just having fun," Maggie smirked.
"That's fair," Alec shrugged, "now all aboard who's ashore."
"How are we going to get a ride though," Joanie wondered.
"Well..." Alec cracked his knuckles, "one doesn't need to TAKE a walk if he can TAKE walks for him and his friends."
"Alright, thrill me, Mega Man," Joanie smirked a bit playfully.
"Of course, my lady," Alec grinned, before putting out his hands and shooting out 10 magical blasts, which formed into hovercrafts. "TA-DA!! The big red button on the board turns them into rocket horses," he added.
The Wild West adventure group looked a bit wide-eyed and jaw-dropped.
"You'll get used to that," Richie grinned to their Wild West counterparts.
"I think we'll have plenty of time to..." Paul replied, "anyhow, get onboard!"
The others looked to each other and soon they came to join the ride.
"C'mon, girls," Joanie warned the cows, "the sooner you get up, the sooner we can save Patch of Heaven!"
"Ah, what the hell," Maggie shrugged, "can't be worse than hoofing. Make room, Paulie-boy, I'm coming aboard!"
The others scooched over. Mrs. Calloway sighed and shook her head no.
"Let's go, Mrs. Calloway," Grace grinned to the older cow.
With a sigh, Mrs. Calloway climbed aboard.
"Now what," Grace asked.
"We follow that car," Jesse suggested.
"Wherever I go.....I guess..." Joanie said as it seemed to be taking a while.
At last, the Sheriff came out, tied the cows' ropes to the back of the wagon and warned the driver to get rolling.
"Wow! Free cows? What a country," exclaimed the driver as he got up front and started the bull walking.
Buck seemed to laugh at them as he was on his road out with Rico to a separate direction. "So long, heifers!"
"Not exactly what I had in mind, but this'll work," Maggie grinned to the others.
"At least it's a fashion to catch that fat asshole, wherever he is," Joanie narrowed her eyes.
"Farewell, Buck," the Sheriff warned his horse as soon as he left, "take care of Rico now."
"And then, the Fantastic Ten begins their daring journey to bring the evil Alameda Slim to justice," Paul exclaimed triumphantly, pulling a guitar out of nowhere.
"Are you going to use a country singer accent," Joanie asked, a little sickly.
"No, of course not," Paul replied, "I won't do that to my friends. But sometimes practicing guitar helps me think..."
"Well, alright then," Joanie replied.
"Go ahead, Paul," Carrie grinned to him.
Paul blushed. "Oh, gosh, Carrie, you always give me unexpected inspiration...A-HYUCK," he hiccuped, "I'm sorry."
"Er..." Carrie hid a small smirk to that, "I'm doing my best."
Maggie looked quite tortured from the return of Grace's singing.
"Ugh, no wonder they were free," the driver moaned to himself.
"I hate singing anymore," Joanie frowned as she shot up, "time to shut her up!"
"No, Joanie, you shouldn't," Richie frowned as soon as he caught her to hold her back.
"He's right," Paul replied, ceasing his strumming, "I'm putting my guitar away," and he put his guitar back into the hover-car apartment with a sigh.
Joanie groaned and strained. "Richie, you can let it go now," she said, annoyed.
"I just want to make sure you don't hurt Grace," Richie said as he bear hugged her.
"I'm not going to hurt Grace," Joanie frowned.
"Grace...darling...can you do us a favor and...BE SILENT," Alec boomed.
"What? Oh, alright," Grace replied.
"That was all it takes," Joanie face-palmed.
Soon Richie let her down, dropping her.
"Ah," Joanie yelped before falling.
Alec pulled Joanie back onto her hover-car. Soon they began to pass by some farmland as there were voices heard from some humans.
"Sold," a voice called out.
"What was that," Grace asked.
"It's a farm auction, guys," Maggie replied.
"The last piece of furniture to be put up for auction is this property," the guy exclaimed, "formerly known as Dixon's Farm!"
Paul sighed, and Maggie looked down with a mournful glance.
"No..." Charlie, Eglantine and Carrie whispered in dismay.
Grace saw a stall which had prizes all over it like gold medals and blue ribbons. "What'll happen to the cow that lived there," she whispered.
"She'll be alright," Maggie said through depression.
"How do you know," Grace asked.
"You're looking at her," Maggie frowned.
"That was your farm," asked Grace.
Maggie and Paul nodded. "You know, we had a family as well," replied Maggie.
"What just happened," asked Gertie.
"Alameda Slim just happened..." said Paul, in a bitter, dark tone.
The others frowned in memory, hearing Slim's laughter in their heads as soon as he took away the bulls while they were sleeping with Maggie was the only one spared from the nabbing.
"I could get it, guys...if I only awakened in time...it's my fault," Charlie frowned.
"No, it isn't," Eglantine frowned softly to him.
"I'll find that bad Alameda...and if I do...." Paul growled, spinning his guitar in the air. "HE'LL WISH HE'D NEVER PUT UP HERE," he angrily flung a cactus with his guitar. KABOOM!!
"Did that really happen," Joanie asked.
"I believe they call him El Kabong," Emelius grinned obliviously.
Paul angrily flung the handle of his guitar as he kept on seething with rage. "It's not fair...we were all happy.....and that bastard coward must've spoiled it all for us!"
"We'll get him, I know we'll get him," Eglantine warned them, "I promise you guys. Someday we'll somehow catch that bully and push into the next county!"
"Yes," the group cheered in response, as Paul sighed, calming down.
"I suppose you're right," he said, "we can all get him together."
"Together," Eglantine warned him, "we're going to make him feel very sorry for ever hurting a bunch of children!"
"You mess with the bull, you get the jerk," Emelius added.
"Horns," Carrie warned him.
"These as well," Emelius replied.
At last, they stopped and set up camp in a field with a herd of bulls.
"Cattle transport, I warned you," Maggie warned the others, "you all owe me a dollar."
"Step lively, girls," Mrs. Calloway warned Maggie and Grace, "a male of this species can be extremely hostile."
"Mrs. Calloway's right," Paul replied, "these bulls have probably not seen a cow in ages and most likely are thinking about what they have between their legs, not between their ears."
Emelius looked puzzled before thinking about it. "Ohh! You mean––"
Carrie covered his mouth before looking into the fourth wall. "A FAMILY picture~"
"Right, sure," Paul replied, "the point is, these bulls are very horny and I don't mean the stuff on their heads."
"Ooh...right...now I've got you," Emelius said with a bit of a chuckle.
Soon the bulls awakened and began to look emotional as they saw Grace, Maggie and Mrs. Calloway.
"Oh, hey, how's it going," Kate grinned politely, "oh, hi. Let me guess. You're the Taurus."
"Look, just keep moving and avoid eye contact," Mrs. Calloway advised.
"I think we're a little late," Carrie replied.
"I'm sorry," said one bull, "but what are three lovely ladies like you..."
"I do on a ride like this," asked another bull.
"Just ignore them...." advised Mrs. Calloway, "and maybe they'll go away."
"My mum says that about my little sister wherever she annoys me," Richie replied.
"Oh, they look like nice guys," Grace warned the group, "perhaps they can help us."
"Well, of course we can help you," the first bull smirked.
"Perhaps we can help ourselves," the second bull added.
"Look, dear bull, we're only here on business," Joanie frowned.
"Ooh, sounds very emotional," the first bull replied.
"What kind of business," the second bull added.
"We're looking for a thief named Alameda Slim," Grace grinned nonchalantly.
"Grace! Csendes," the others warned her.
"Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask," Grace replied to them.
"Slim," the second bull chortled.
"Like it's just a horrifying bedtime story for little calves to behave," said the first, before a gunshot went off, knocking the chow bowl onto the fire, dousing it.
Two of the cowboys were caught, and the wagon driver was knocked unconscious.
"What was that," asked Eglantine.
"It had to be Slim and the Willies," replied Grace.
"Slim and the Willies," the bulls exclaimed.
"Don't worry, baby, I'll protect you," said the first bull.
"You have exactly two seconds to remove the hoof before I tear it off my knee," Mrs. Calloway replied stoically.
"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, miss," the bull behind Mrs. Calloway smirked, "I thought you were blonde."
Then Mrs. Calloway smacked him off with her hoof. Soon three thin and lean young men came out to tie up the cowboys who were at the campsite.
"C'mon, guys," Maggie warned the others, "time to lose these ropes."
"Maggie, I'm stuck," Grace strained.
Paul and Alec came over and began sawing at Grace's rope, trying to free her.
"See for yourself....stop, you godammn rope, STOP," Paul growled.
Richie and Emelius came to help out. Soon they heard a laugh as the bad man came out, looking around with steely eyes.
"There he is," Jesse frowned, "that bad cow/bull stealing maniac!"
"Then that's Alameda Slim," Gertie asked.
"It's turnaround time," Maggie frowned, "protect me!"
"Uh, with what," Grace asked.
But before they could attack, a white witch stepped up. "Alright, Slim, we tied them all up of you," she announced.
"Nice job, Jadis," smirked Slim.
"That's Jadis for you, but that works for me," the woman replied.
"Hello, Slim," the blonde guys replied, before Slim smacked them.
"Who is that woman," Gertie wondered.
"It's snot on me," Joanie shrugged to him.
"I think we might find out in the future," Jesse guessed.
Soon Maggie stormed out to face Slim as she looked outraged with him being responsible for her family being gone, except for Paul.
"Now listen up," Slim frowned at the boys before soon he began to sing and took out what looked like a gun as Maggie didn't let anything stop her as she charged for the man, "there are crooks in this here West, who have claimed to be the best, and they think they wrote the book on how to rustle, well, as best as they may be, not a one's as nice as me, and I barely have to move a single muscle,~" he sang, "they call me mean, boys! Depraved and nasty, as well, and they ain't seen, boys, the cruelest fact I do so! You, see, I...~" the weapon revealed to be a guitar as he began to yodel, "yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel-oo!~"
Jesse, Joanie, Alec, Gertie and even Richie sweat-dropped from that.
"He's...yodeling..." Alec remarked, dumbfounded.
"I...have no words..." Jesse said.
Maggie and Mrs. Calloway began to look like they were hypnotized from Slim's yodeling.
"Apparently, it's music," Gertie said.
"That doesn't sound like music to me," Richie replied.
"OF COURSE," Paul realized, "his yodeling occurs at a rate that can hypnotize the cows to follow him! But it doesn't work for deaf people, where Grace has no control over it!"
"Besides, it doesn't seem to work for people like that," Emelius added about him and the others.
"Looks like you all figured it out," Jadis smirked to them.
"Oh, hi, sir, we were just leaving," Joanie said sheepishly.
"Ah, I'm a lady, you blind little idiot," Jadis snapped, knocking Joanie over.
Alec and Paul shot frowns at her. "NO ONE DOES THAT TO HER," they both exclaimed at the same time.
Richie looked a bit outraged and soon ran toward Jadis to ram her down and tackled her down to the ground like he was in a football game.
"I warned you he was grand at soccer," Jesse grinned to Joanie before helping her up.
"Why, you little drummer boy," Jadis growled, pushing Richie off her.
"Guys, I hate interruptions, but...THIS BASTARD ALAMEDA HAPPENS WITH MY MAGGIE," Paul exclaimed, "and I'll be damned if I don't try to stop him!"
Grace tried to stop Mrs. Calloway and Maggie by biting on their tails, but she had no such luck. Just then, the wagon behind them started rolling after Grace, catching Maggie and Mrs. Calloway onboard it, snapping them from their trance.
"You'd better get out of here before I make you ugly at the monkey," Jadis threatened the group.
"I think it's a bit late for that," Eglantine frowned.
"Everyone stay away from Maggie, or you'll respond my guitar," Paul snapped as the group jumped aboard the rolling stagecoach.
"Watch out, guys," Richie called out.
Jadis hid herself out of the road as the stagecoach rolled away with them.
"Rolling, rolling, rolling," Richie began to sing.
"Really," Jesse glanced at him.
"It was appropriate," Richie replied as the stagecoach kept going.
"At least we know how Alameda stole the cattle the first time..." Alec added.
"In a really weird fashion......." Joanie commented.
Soon the stagecoach got off balance as the bad guys got away with the bulls that were rounded up from Slim's yodeling.
"Watch out," Eglantine and Gertie cried out in despair as the stagecoach came towards Rico as he rode away on Buck before looking over to see them coming and soon they smashed into each other.
Soon Rico got up with a frown as soon as a trio of cowboys rode over to see him.
"Rico, if you'd been a second earlier, you would've had this rustling right," one of the cowboys spoke to him.
"You boys, you saw it all before I got here," asked Rico.
"Yes, we must've been there, Rico," replied the other cowboy, "we're just sitting down to dinner, but suddenly, the lights went out."
"Alright...what part of the cover didn't we understand," Maggie asked as she came out of the stagecoach with the others.
"Well, you're all acting crazy after singing it," Charlie warned them.
"Uh, you guys alright," Jesse asked the cows.
"I don't know," Mrs. Calloway said, "I feel like I'm dreaming."
"Yes. As he started singing and suddenly, I lost sight of everything," Maggie added.
"Singing? It didn't sound like singing to me," Grace replied, "and you know, my hearing is perfect."
"As I said, it had no effect on Grace because she's deaf," Paul exclaimed, "these vultures who previously assumed she was dying!"
"Alright, the show's over," said Buck, who had a sheet over his head.
"Oh, no..." Alec and Maggie moaned.
"Grand...he..." Carrie sighed in a deadpan fashion.
"What do you know? She's my Wild West counterpart," Joanie said, referring to Carrie.
"You're meddling with the official police," Buck frowned at them before looking over to Rico as he spoke with the witnesses to what just happened to them that night. "Be with you, big man. Buck is on the case. You know? Whoo," he whispered sharply to the others, "don't embarrass me in front of my partner. Please!"
"You and he are partners," Mrs. Calloway replied.
Grace seemed to stifle a laugh from that.
"Well, how exactly does that work," Maggie asked, "I mean, do you ride him on odd days or even?"
"Hey! He chose me on purpose because I have the necessary skills to capture our prey," replied Buck, doing some kung-fu noises as he kicked a few times.
"You look like a jerk," Alec stated blatantly.
"Kung-Fu Horse...can't be worse than Shaquille O'Neal," Joanie muttered to herself.
Richie looked sick to his stomach at the mention of that video game.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Richie," Joanie said.
Soon Richie gulped down after throwing up in his mouth, giving a thumb's up with a dazed look in his eyes.
"Are you boys going back to town," Rico asked the cowboys behind him.
"Yes, sir," one informed, "we have to go and report to the Sheriff."
"Give him back his horse," Rico demanded, "this one's too skittish with cows."
"Hard break," Jesse said as he heard that with his super-hearing.
Alec snickered. "It looks like Mr. Hotshot will be losing his job soon," he replied.
"And he doesn't listen to us," Charlie said as Buck was yet in his own little world.
"And that, girls, makes me and Rico equal parts of one slim, vicious crime-fighting machine," Buck smirked before soon he saw Rico speed away with a different horse to continue his journey without him, "let's go."
"Well, there it is then," Mrs. Calloway remarked.
"Wait...I'm so confused...." Richie said.
"Apparently, Rico wants a new horse with better skills," Joanie warned him.
"Well, well, father," Maggie snickered, "now, I'm not a professional...but I'd say all you'll do out of hand are your dreams."
"Ooh, watch out, Buck," chuckled Alec, "he's making a move to your left! Kaboosh!"
And he, Paul, Carrie and Joanie had a loud, long laugh at his expense. Soon Buck frowned at them for laughing at him.
"Lords. Children. Leave that poor animal alone," Mrs. Calloway warned them.
Soon Maggie laughed with the others as they went to go and join Mrs. Calloway.
"Buck, I know you're very hesitant, but if you want to join our group and help us bring Slim, we'll be happy to have you," Grace advised the horse with a small grin, "however, there are a few issues related to frustration management that we need to discuss."
"I wouldn't help you bossy cattle and crazy children if MY LIFE GOT SICK OF IT," Buck frowned.
"Alright, save your foolish pride," Alec snapped as he got into his hovercraft, "you'd probably just screw it up any matter. We don't have enough space on this team for Buck and HIS HUGE EGO!!"
"C'mon, gang," said Paul, tipping his hat, "let's go get Slim."
Soon the others went away together, leaving the horse by himself.
"'C'mon, guys, let's go get Slim'," Buck imitated once he was alone before scoffing and shaking his head no. "Heifers chewing candy......lousy children....huh, I can catch this Slim with one hoof tied behind my back," he gasped as he now had an idea. "Wait a moment. Why not? Yes! Partner or not, that's what I do," he sang to himself, about to go away.
Soon the cowboys tried to hold Buck back, but he proved to be stronger as soon as he ran away from them.
"Hey, guys," Richie spoke up to the others.
"Yes, Richie," Gertie replied.
"You don't think Slim took the Sheriff's missing niece, do you," Richie asked.
"I wouldn't throw that on a nasty bastard," remarked Paul, "I bet he used the cattle's departure as a distraction and then carried her off in a confusion!"
"Well, we won't find out until we find this bastard," Charlie frowned.
"And we're going to help you," Jesse warned their Wild West counterparts.
"I certainly love a few new friends on the expedition," Emelius beamed.
"Same here, big man," Paul replied.
They were at last going on until they almost fell over as Buck raced past them.
"Hey! Watch it," Gertie frowned.
"Move it, sister! A hero passing on the left," Buck laughed as he galloped past them.
"Where are you going, hot foot," Maggie frowned.
"I'll go catch this thief and show Rico I have what it takes, then say farewell to your farm, girls, because Slim is mine," Buck grinned as soon as he went away on his own quest, "it's hero time! Watch out now! Hey! Come back! Jump back! Kiss myself! Whoo!"
"Oh, dear, you don't," Alec scowled, conjuring a cartoon bomb. "Taste my tar pomegranate," he threw it and blew it up, leaving Buck stuck to the ground, "catch THAT, Flicka!"
"Aah! What the," Buck complained.
"I'm sorry, Stallion of the Cimarron, but we have to go now," Joanie warned the horse with a salute.
"Farewell, Bullseye," Paul added.
"My name isn't Bullseye or Flicka," Buck frowned.
"I'm sorry, Secretariat, but not really," Joanie replied.
"Farewell, Seabiscuit," Paul added, "YEE-HAW!!"
"I just hope we can yet do this," Joanie said to the others.
"Look on the bright side, Joanie," Grace grinned, "don't forget our secret weapon."
"Secret weapon," Joanie replied.
"You all remember," Emelius grinned to her, "who better to catch a cattle thief than a cow?"
"Yes, even you can't argue with that kind of magic," Maggie replied.
Mrs. Calloway seemed to roll her eyes.
"Alright, perhaps you can," Maggie said about the older cow.
"You know, Grace, Maggie likes your singing so much," Joanie grinned, "how about a song?"
"I'll get you after this," Maggie frowned at her.
"Save it after we save Patch of Heaven," Paul replied.
Joanie snickered to herself as they continued forwards.
Meanwhile, soon we heard evil laughing which showed us Alameda Slim along with Jadis and their helpers, the Willie Brothers, best known as Phil, Bill and Gil.
"Ha ha! 5,000 Texas longhorns," Alameda Slim smirked to himself, "not bad for a night's work."
Phil and Bill were playing with a cootie-catcher.
"Pick a color," said Phil.
"I said, not bad for a night's work," said Slim louder.
Then Phil and Bill flinched a bit and swiftly applauded him.
"Thank you," Slim smirked to that as he checked out one steer, "and judging by the earmark, I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd."
"Big Mike Donald had a farm," Gil spoke up.
"E-I-E-I-" Phil and Bill grinned to each other until they got clonked on their heads by Slim, "oohhhh...."
"This is torture...." a young girl's voice said before looking a bit like a Wild West counterpart for Priscilla, which of course had her looking like Joanie since Priscilla was Joanie's doppelganger.
"Zip it," Jadis retorted, "this is reluctant!"
"That's right; he had a farm," said Slim, going behind a shade to change clothes. "Now all these dairy cows are gone...this poor fact's going to break," he stepped out, dressed like a land baron, "perfect time for a certain honest landowner to step in and take all the land!"
"Wah! Who are you," Phil panicked.
"What have you done with Uncle Slim," Bill added.
"Put your dukes on, Mr. Fancy Britches," Phil frowned, about to fight the "stranger".
Slim caught his fist to stop him before removing his hat and glasses. "It's me. Hello," he reminded them, "this is the cover I use to infiltrate all these auctions and buy all the land, you brainless monotonous monkeys."
"Damn it! You must be the richest baron in the land of the west," Gil remarked.
"Yes, but the part that really warms my heart..." said Slim, as he picked up a branding iron in the shape of a dollar sign, "is seeing these ranchers suffer. I used to work on the most cheating ranches you'll ever see, but these arrogant ranch bosses couldn't appreciate my talents."
"Perhaps they just didn't like your singing," shrugged Jadis, making it sound like it came from Phil.
Slim frowned to Jadis and Phil.
"Dead man walking," Jadis smirked a bit darkly.
"My corner," Slim's teeth grinded as he caught a hold of his scorching hot branding iron, "singing birds sing. Saloon girls sing. Snot-nosed little children sing. I sing! AND YODELING IS AN ART!!"
"Well, perhaps they just didn't like your singing," Bill spoke up hesitantly.
"He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everyone likes yodeling," Gil spoke up innocently as he held onto his banjo, "why, it's one of the funniest, corny, goofy, silly sounds in the entire west."
Slim swung his iron at Gil, but he ducked each time until he noticed Patch of Heaven. "Uh...Gil," he asked.
"Yes, my Lord," asked Gil.
"I'm right in assuming that every time we've brought a herd back to this secret lair, you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, blocking that piece of property from view," asked Slim frustratedly.
"This is my comfy place," said Gil, but he was cut off as Slim caught him by his neck, almost choking him.
"It's called 'Patch of Heaven', Uncle Slim," said Phil, pointing to a newspaper, "goes up for auction on Thursday morning."
"It's perfect," said Slim, bonking Gil with the iron, "draw it. Thursday morning....right after we sell this herd!"
"But it's just a small land farm," said Jadis.
"Ah, what's the use," Slim smirked as soon as he branded Patch of Heaven as he knew that he was going to head there next, "if you're speaking revenge, every last acre counts."
Penelope frowned in worry.
"And I know you can help us get to the animals as you somehow have a fashion of speaking to them like the little freak you are if you ever want to come home," Slim frowned at her sternly.
Penelope sighed mournfully.
"Don't worry, Slim," said Jadis, "I'll have the little sunburn cooperate with our plans for sure...for heaven's sake."
"You're absolutely right, she won't dare leave us by force," Slim smirked to that.
Jadis nodded with a devilish snicker. Penelope sighed as she was trapped by these crooks.
At last, Patch of Heaven was put up for auction as the Sheriff put up a sign on the farm and Maggie, Mrs. Calloway and Grace were yet gone, along with their new friends who decided to help them to save the farm. Their future looked very grim and bleak since they hadn't come back yet.
"I don't understand," said one piglet, "shouldn't cows and children come back?"
"Dad, what'll happen if they don't come back," asked another piglet.
"Oh, but they're coming back," said Ollie.
"Nonsense! We all know they'll never come back," snapped Jeb.
"You don't know that, Jeb," said Ollie through clenched teeth.
"Everyone knows that cattle are the smartest and most cunning animals in the west," said Jeb.
"That's right, you know," said the duck.
"It doesn't take a cow to figure out they saw the writing on the wall and flew into the chicken coop while the getting was best," explained the goat.
"What," Ollie asked.
Soon Audrey panicked, which made the other chickens freak out, along with her. At last, all of the animals had a frenzy going on.
"Excuse me. Excuse me? Excuse MEEEEE," Ollie called out before squeaking louder, and soon, the shrieking stopped as all eyes were on him and soon he spoke up for himself. "Oh, uh...let's not forget who we're speaking about. Audrey, remember if Grace helped you figure out why you crossed the street," he asked.
Audrey paused from that as she remembered that.
"And, Jeb, Mrs. Calloway knew exactly what to do if her head got stuck in that spittoon," Ollie grinned to the goat.
"Get off my case," Jeb frowned in defense.
"And Maggie and these children would make us all winners," Ollie grinned to all of them, "I truly believe that there's nothing these three cows and these human children can't do."
Meanwhile...
Maggie and the others were yet hot on Slim's trail.
"C'mon, class," Maggie called, "either I'm getting nice at this, or his scent is getting stronger."
"Alright, Maggie," exclaimed Paul, "we're in that useless scum like slop in a pig's trough!"
"Go get them, Maggie," Grace beamed.
"Guys," Richie bit his lip.
"What," the others asked.
"I need to go....badly..." Richie warned them.
"Again," Joanie rolled her eyes.
Paul sighed. "Tarnation...well...enough of the soda drinking," he remarked as he pulled over.
"And let's hurry, let's go," exclaimed Alec, "we don't want the trail to get cold because you took too long on your bathroom breaks!"
Soon Richie went behind a rock to have some privacy.
"That boy..." Joanie sighed.
"He just wants to help us out," Jesse warned her.
"I think," Joanie shrugged, "I swear, he's like a puppy."
"Yes, but everyone knows puppies need care," shrugged Alec, "and at least we're ready to handle it."
At last, Richie came back with a grin.
"You alright," Joanie asked.
Richie grinned and nodded emotionally.
"Then c'mon," Joanie said.
And then, they continued on their trek...until they realized that the tracks they were following seemed to just go ahead in circles.
"Guys, I believe we're tricked by a certain smart and bad horse," Paul remarked.
"What? How'd he get out," Richie frowned.
"Must've been lucky," Gertie replied.
"That has Buck written all over it," Mrs. Calloway frowned.
"Let's not let this old foolish trick stop us," Maggie warned the others, "sooner or later, all these paths will connect, and then––"
Soon it began to rain as the tracks seemed to melt into the sand, becoming invisible.
"Oh, dear, the tracks," Grace gasped.
"Hurry up, boys," Maggie warned them as she went to follow the trail anyhow, "don't miss that trail."
"Screw that horse," Richie growled, "if I ever see each other again, I'll glue him on!"
"Let's keep trying to follow the trail before it gets worse," Carrie suggested as it began to rain.
And then, the group took off as the rain came down.
"Aahh! Hurry up! Hurry up," Jesse panicked a bit.
A lightning bolt hit the tree, which made a bit of chunk shoot down, almost hitting them. The sand began to get soggy and muddy and they were now hopelessly lost as the trail was gone.
"Oh! Flash flood! Arrive to the high terrain," Mrs. Calloway cried out in despair.
"Forget THAT!! We need to get out of here before we sink," Alec exclaimed.
Soon they went to find someplace to go and went to some higher ground.
"Oh! Maggie," Grace cried out in grief as Maggie was yet in the floor.
"Maggie, up here," Emelius called out to the cow.
Maggie kept trying to find a trail, despite all hope being lost.
"Maggie," Paul shouts, reaching, "the trail's gone! That damn horse tried to murder us all!"
Soon Maggie looked over.
"Maggie, get up here before you drown," Eglantine warned the cow.
"We'll get you," Charlie added.
Paul swung his lasso down to catch Maggie where he could pull her into the hovercraft.
Maggie groaned a bit. "My hooves are a little stuck," she called out.
"Bite the rope," Paul shouts, "I'll pull you up!"
Soon Maggie bit onto the rope as she groaned while trying not to get swept away. Paul gave a mighty tug, and Maggie was yanked right out of the mud. Emelius and Charlie tried to help out Paul with their own strength. Luckily, they managed to catch Maggie in the hovercraft.
"Phew..." Emelius and Charlie sighed.
"Thanks, friends," Paul grinned to them.
"What are friends for," Charlie replied.
And then, the group took off.
"Where are we going now," Carrie wondered.
"I'm...not sure..." Richie had to admit.
As bad as facts had gotten, they just got worse.
"Let's go straight home," said Mrs. Calloway.
"What," exclaimed Maggie and Paul, "but what about getting Slim?"
"We never had a chance to catch Slim in the first place," Mrs. Calloway firmly warned them, which made Maggie narrow her eyes, "this entire ridiculous plan is just where you can get revenge on these cattle thieves."
"But wait," Maggie snapped, "for your information, Duchess; this entire ridiculous plan is about us saving OUR farm."
"Our farm may have had a fighting chance until you showed up," Mrs. Calloway retorted.
"What does THAT mean," asked Paul.
"Alright, let's not start a fight," Richie grinned hesitantly.
"Swaggering about with your vulgar show-cow behavior," Mrs. Calloway frowned to Maggie.
"Look, I was having----" Maggie replied, only to be interrupted.
"Wasting our time with your foolish plans," Mrs. Calloway continued firmly, "over the years, Patch of Heaven has survived all the hardships nature can cause, but you, Maggie, are the biggest catastrophe to ever befall our farm."
"You can insult ME.....but you NEVER insult Maggie," Paul frowned, "if that's how you really feel...then perhaps we should go our separate fashions!"
"Oh, my heavens," Richie pouted.
"Now, that's the first best idea you've ever had," Mrs. Calloway frowned.
"Well, fine," Maggie frowned back.
"Oh, where can they be?"
"Why are you not surprised?"
"It's gonna happen."
Grace and Rich both looked torn up over the argument.
"Well, then...I guess we will," Paul replied, tipping his hat, "let's go, gang."
Maggie frowned to Mrs. Calloway before soon she looked pretty upset from the argument.
"C-C'mon...let's go...we don't need that British stuffed dumpling," Emelius frowned with tears in his eyes.
"Yes," Eglantine replied, "we can't leave if we don't want to."
Emelius wiped his eyes as he felt as much wounded about the fighting as much as his modern day counterpart did so.
"Yes. Well, fine," Maggie sulked, "it's not like your farm feel like home to me any matter."
And then, the group squatted under a ridge as the rain kept on pouring around them.
"I don't want to fight....." Richie whispered.
"Oh, buddy..." Jesse frowned to him.
"My parents fight sometimes......" Richie shut his eyes mournfully, "I know it's not about Bunyan and Babe...but it always hurts....."
Alec sighed. "I'm sorry, man," he turned and hugged him.
Richie looked to him and soon hugged Alec back, though this time, it didn't seem to be overly tight and crushing. Alec patted him on the back, and Paul mournfully played his guitar as the rain came down.
"I'm sorry, guys..." Richie said to the others before breaking out of the embrace, "I just didn't mean for that to happen."
"It's alright, buddy, none of us did," Jesse warned him.
Soon, the group went to sleep.
By the next morning, Gertie was the first one awake. Soon she yawned and stretched, smacking her lips as she looked around. "Well, at least it stopped raining," she said, a bit softly as she looked all around.
Alec was awake next. "Huh? Good morning, Gertie..." he muttered.
Maggie was eating Mrs. Calloway's hat in her sleep, but then the both of them awakened.
"Please check," the brown cow called out once she awakened.
"Well, I suppose you'll all go now," said Mrs. Calloway, "where will you all go?"
"Oh, probably check out the Grand Canyon," replied Maggie, "see for Utah with Paul before I die."
"Wait a moment. Where's Grace," asked Gertie.
"And where's Richie," Joanie asked, "his bum made a best pillow."
"Good morning," Richie grinned as soon as he came out with Grace.
"Hi. Boy, am I glad you guys are up," Grace added as she led them out to show cacti filled with green leaves and grass for the cows, "hey, come check this out."
"What on Earth," Mrs. Calloway muttered, "where did all this come from?"
"Hey, it's green, it's leaf and it's a tree," Maggie said as she began to stuff her face, "hold the flap and eat."
"Well, that takes care of you," Paul replied, "but what about us who aren't exactly bovines?"
"Ahem," Richie grinned as soon as he caught Paul's hand and pulled him over.
Soon the others followed after and saw what they looked like two picnic tables filled with a bunch of food made and were ready for them.
"Please refer! My own magic," Richie beamed, raising his arms in the air, taking Paul with him unintentionally, "I found the strength and the spirit to cook!"
"Richie, you cook," Joanie asked.
"I can certainly do that," Richie beamed as he held onto her and held her out to the buffet table, "I've made grits, chicken, steaks, potatoes and our new friend helped me cook some veggies properly, along with some fresh and clean water."
Paul gasped as he shook Richie's hand. "Well...thank you, partner," he exclaimed.
"Aha...you're welcome, buddy," Richie beamed.
"Now let's dig in," Alec exclaimed.
Richie beamed as he came to sit and eat with them.
"But wait, Richie, who's your new boyfriend," Joanie asked, filling up her plate.
"Good morning, folks; I see you've already eaten your appetizers," a jack rabbit said as soon as he rushed over to get cooking himself, "I've never known a pretty lady who didn't have an appetite."
Mrs. Calloway looked serious from that. "Oh, look, you bully---"
"He's not a bully, Mrs. Calloway," Richie warned the older cow.
"He's right," Grace added, "he's a real desert shaman; our own sage."
"Wiseman, right," Paul asked, "might be just what we need, right?"
"Sounds good to me," Charlie replied, "mm...this is nice chicken."
"I think so," Eglantine replied as she also ate.
"Shaman, cook, head cook and bottle washer," the jack rabbit grinned to them, "I'm a jack rabbit of all trades and at your service."
"And who could you be," Joanie asked.
"People around here call me Lucky Jack," the jack rabbit grinned as he started a fire, though his peg leg caught on fire without him noticing, "yes, they used to come from far away just to rub one of my lucky rabbit paws."
"Hey, Lucky Jack? Your leg's on fire," Carrie replied.
Soon Lucky Jack panicked as he saw that and soon put the fire out in his mouth, making steam come out of his ears. "This happens all the time," he said before taking out a scorpion to the cows and began to dice it to cook it over the fire. "Well, where was I? Ah. That's it. Now let me just put this on the fire and it'll be ready in an instant. Yow," he yelped as the scorpion tail hit his eye.
"Look, at least we don't eat meat, we don't," explained Maggie, "it's like a professional courtesy."
"Maybe we'll have dinner with you some other time. You know, Grace and I are going back to our farm for the last farewell," explained Mrs. Calloway.
"Yes. We need a closure," added Grace.
"Well, I can sympathize with that, sister, I really can," said Lucky Jack, "until recently, I had a home as well. It was called Echo Mine. We jack rabbits lived there generation after generation. Then some land-catching bandit moved in, and flushed us out like yesterday's oatmeal."
"Oh...I'm sorry, little fella....I'd help if I could," Emelius said.
"We all would," Charlie, Carrie, Paul and Eglantine added.
"Um. Excuse us. My best friend, we must be on our road," Mrs. Calloway said.
"Aww! But Mrs. Calloway," Richie complained.
"Wait! There he is," Lucky Jack called out, seeing a wanted poster of a certain man in the picture and he kicked the cactus before yelping out in pain in his nice foot.
"I wonder how a wanted poster got on a cactus," Jesse said to himself.
"Slim," Maggie gasped once she saw who was in the picture, "you mean these useless bugs are hiding in the Echo Mine right now?"
"Mags, I guess Mr. Opportunity is knocking on our door," Paul smirked.
"Maggie, what are you thinking," asked Mrs. Calloway.
"Look, I have scores to settle with that stray fat boy and nothing to lose," replied Maggie.
"But it'll be dangerous to go after Slim all al one," Eglantine replied.
"Wait, I've had the rabbit," said Maggie.
"That's not all you have, Maggie. You found us," said Charlie.
"And us as well," Grace added, trying to bring Mrs. Calloway behind her.
"Oh, dear. No, no, no. No," Mrs. Calloway shook her head no, getting away from Grace before pulling on her bell with her tail to drag her away, "we stick to our plan and go home."
"Wait a moment, you two," Maggie said, "as weird as that sounds, Grace actually makes sense."
"Thank you," Grace grinned to that.
"You want the money and I want to settle up with Slim," Maggie continued, "the three of us and the Terrific Ten are going together and we're going to get him for sure. Once you collect the reward, I'll go through your front gate and stay out of there forever. Deal?"
"Your powers of persuasion are incredible," replied Mrs. Calloway, "agreed."
"Really," Alec beamed.
"I guess we could as well," Mrs. Calloway replied.
"Ha! Cattle bounty hunters! Now I've seen everything," Lucky Jack chuckled to himself.
"Yes," Alec replied, "they're not the bravest heroes, but they're the only ones we have!"
"Alright," Jesse chuckled as that reminded him of someone.
"Let's go, gang," Lucky Jack warned them as he ran away ahead of them, "time for an underground smack-down. Yee-haw!"
"Now you're speaking," Emelius beamed.
"Bajabbers," Paul exclaimed as he and the group took off.
Soon Richie began to sing his "Home on the Range" song again.
"Never thought you were a singer, Richie," Jesse commented.
"Eh, activity comes in small doses," Richie grinned.
"Well...let's play," Alec smirked as they rode away.
Soon Richie began to sing his song again as they ran toward Echo Mine together to bust Alameda Slim once and for all. Lucky Jack was helping them lead the road as he seemed to know where to go.
At last, it was now nighttime, and Slim stood in front of his minions as they sat on the couch in front of him.
"Alright, guys, let's go over it one last time," Slim said, "who am I? My name is Alameda Slim."
"Uncle Slim," Phil guessed.
"Right! Heh," Slim chuckled before putting on his hat and glasses, "now I'll put my hat on, then I'll put on my glasses––"
The Willie brothers yelped.
"Who are you," asked Phil.
"Where's Uncle Slim," asked Gil.
Jadis just snorted. "These three aren't going to win any awesome prizes anytime soon, that's for sure," she remarked.
Slim growled. "It's yet ME!! Can't you get it right," he exclaimed.
Soon a train whistle blew.
"Ah, this looks like our company is here," Jadis warned Slim.
"Oh, the ever-punctual Mr. Wesley," Slim smirked as he cooled down his frustration, "alright, everyone make room for the big man in the black-market cattle."
Jadis and Slim went to go and see the man. Soon Phil tried on Slim's hat and glasses with an innocent grin.
"Aah! Who are you," Bill and Gil panicked from him.
A short man dressed in purple moved through the crowd of cows. "Alright, c'mon," he snapped, "move it, Bessie, or I'll tan your skins right here."
Slim reached in and plucked him out of the crowd.
"I...hey, hey, hey! Watch out for the suit! Watch out for the suit," the man exclaimed.
"A feast for the eyes," said Slim, "9,000 cows on the barrel head, as promised, Mr. Wesley."
"The name's Wesley," said the short guy, "well, Slim, what do you think? We continue and invite this gold cows as soon as possible on the train, right?"
"Yes, yes, of course," Slim smirked as he opened up the bag given to him as it was filled with money, "just as soon as we're done counting."
"Lucky Jack, you did it," Grace beamed.
"We're here," Richie added.
"Well, I take my hat off to you, Lucky Jack," Mrs. Calloway grinned.
Emelius gasped. "Isn't that hat reluctant to you?"
Mrs. Calloway gave him a look. "It's an expression."
"Then you mean business," Emelius asked, yet confused.
"I don't think this guy's very smart," Richie whispered louder to Joanie, Jesse, Gertie and Alec, "he's kind of a....goof."
The group looked at each other. "Believe me...we know," Alec replied.
"Heheh...luckily, I'm smart...that's why I have a big head, my brain is huge," Richie smirked.
"Yes, I'm sure it's a big brain," Joanie said sarcastically, "such a big, big brain."
"Easy now," Jesse warned.
"Well, seeing is believing," replied Lucky Jack.
"And I don't believe what I'm seeing," added Paul, as they came to the tunnel and saw a certain horse stuck in the subterranean passage.
"Why, it's Buck," said Eglantine.
"Stallion of the Cimarron," added Carrie, as Paul chuckled.
"I should be here in case any of the horses get tired," Buck said to the buffalo.
"Cows only," the buffalo frowned.
"Listen, friend, you don't understand my situation," Buck grinned hesitantly.
"No, you don't understand, then I'll say it again," the buffalo frowned, "the only critters that can past me are cows. Cows only."
Soon the group smirked to each other, mostly to Maggie, Grace and Mrs. Calloway.
"Oh, c'mon," Buck complained, "look, give me a break."
"Well, my good buffalo, we happen to have three cows with us," Paul replied, putting on a calm tone, "maybe we can escort them in?"
"Ah, of course, this fashion," the buffalo seemed to grin to them, "are you all with the cows?"
"Yes, we've separated from the herd a bit, but we're coming in now," Eglantine replied.
Soon the group went to go inside as the buffalo let them outside.
"Warn them Junior sent you," the buffalo grinned.
"Oh! Hey, what the heck," Buck complained, "how come they got through?"
"They're cows," Junior replied.
"What," Buck frowned, "but what about the rabbit and these humans?!"
"Well, obviously, they were with the cows," Buck replied.
"Ha! I'm with the cows as well! Yes! Hey! Hey, cows! W-Wait up! You have to warn this guy you know me," Buck grinned innocently, calling out to the group as they went into the mine together, "you see, Junior, we're old friends! C'mon, Margie! Uh, Gretchen! Miss, uh...uh, hat cow! C'mon, it's your old pal Buck, you see?"
Paul turned with a smug smirk. "I've never seen that horse in our life," he replied.
"Huh...Buck...Buck..." Carrie paused with a smirk to Charlie, who then smirked back with a thumb's up, "is he such a big cheeky horse?"
"Uh, yes," Buck replied.
"And does he do these karate moves," Carrie asked before presenting her own karate moves.
"Yes," Buck grinned to her.
"And does he look up to a weird guy named Rico and say he's his hero," Carrie asked.
"Yes," Buck smirked hopefully.
"Nah...never heard of him," Carrie shrugged and walked off with the others.
Paul chuckled. "Boy-oh-boy, Carrie, was that a hoot," he exclaimed, "you found his hopes up and you knocked them down!"
"Why, thanks," Carrie smirked, "I don't know what came over here, but something warned me about it."
"That wannabe steed almost deserved it for almost murdering us," Alec replied.
"Uh-huh," Carrie had to agree.
"Then what's the plan," Lucky Jack asked.
"Well, let's see..." Maggie paused before looking to Grace and Mrs. Calloway. "You two get his attention while I sneak up behind him and then I'm going to push him into the cart and then we're going to strap him down and roll him to court," she began, taking the rope out of a mine that was next to her.
"Oh! And as an added measure, how about we smack him on the noggin with that," Mrs. Calloway asked, picking up a saucer in her mouth.
"C'mon, cowgirl! That's an old hat," Maggie grinned to that.
"Hey, wait," said Lucky Jack, "now you've lost me here, Missy."
"You see, it's simple; cart, clap, rope, roll, justice," said Grace, "c'mon, Lucky Jack; concentrate! Now's not the time to get fluffy and shaky."
The group stared at her in disbelief.
"Yes, my buddy," Richie added before smirking to the others, "you see? I'm a smartass."
"Uh, yes, Richie, you're very smart with your big brain," Gertie added politely.
"I like big brains and I cannot lie~" Joanie sarcastically sang to herself.
"Yes," Alec shrugged, "you've had a big brain.....or at least one that's decently sized."
"Aww..." Richie grinned to that.
Meanwhile, there was some counting going on.
"4,334, 4,335––"
"1,435--"
"1–"
"4,336-"
Soon Slim moaned as he lost track of the money he was counting. "Can't you idiots count yourselves?"
Wesley rolled his eyes as he checked his pocket watch. "C'mon," he growled a bit impatiently.
"I have to start all over," Slim complained as he started over in counting.
Penelope looked around as she thought she heard other voices somewhere.
"There he is," Maggie said, seeing Slim and Jadis.
"Let's start this plan," Emelius smirked.
"Hang on," said Grace. "You're forgetting Slim's hypnotic control with a less-than-perfect tone. Jack, you must forgive me," she replied as she pulled away some of his tail fluff and put it in Mrs. Calloway and Maggie's ears.
"Grace, how practical," exclaimed Eglantine.
"Ah, the ditz who had a smart moment, not bad," Joanie said.
"Thank you," Richie and Grace grinned.
"Uh, I was speaking to.....er...it doesn't matter....." Joanie said, "nice job."
"Done the count," Bill called out as they shut the doors after the steers had moved in, "what have we got here?"
"4,997," Gil said, checking his notepad.
"WHAT," Jadis frowned.
"What? Wait, wait, what," Wesley spoke up, "I thought you said 5,000 as well."
"Of course I did," Slim warned him, "Gil must've just miscounted, that's all."
"There's one up there," pointed Phil, seeing Grace walking above them on the tracks.
"And the others can't be far behind; just watch," smirked Slim as he walked up to the trail Grace was on.
"You're gonna love this," nudged Bill, "yodeling's an art."
Slim cleared his throat, and yodeled to the tune of "Ride of the Valkyries", but Grace just trotted right on into the underpass. He tried again with Mrs. Calloway, but since her ears were blocked, she didn't hear a fact.
Mr. Wesley just snickered. "What's the matter, Slimbo?"
"Perhaps she wasn't an art lover," suggested Gil.
"Clearly something's going on," remarked Jadis.
Joanie and Maggie began to sneak the mine cart over to behind Slim, trying to keep calm and silent.
"No cattle are born that can exist my charm," Slim frowned.
"I'd try a new melody," Penelope smirked.
"SHUT UP," Slim frowned at her before soon he yodeled a new tune, which was the 1812 Overture.
Soon the Willie Brothers panicked just as Grace and Mrs. Calloway acted hypnotized from the yodeling to distract Slim.
"Now I have you," Slim smirked, catching the cart, which made Joanie and Maggie look hesitant, "where do you think YOU'RE going?"
"Zoinks," Joanie smirked hesitantly, sliding down behind the cart.
Suddenly, Slim was headbutted into the cart by Grace and Mrs. Calloway.
"Now, Paul," whispered Joanie as the boy climbed into the cart with his guitar. Lucky Jack managed to hog-tie Slim's arms and legs and as he lifted his head up, Paul smashed his guitar over his head, knocking him out cold.
"Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim," the Willie Brothers ran towards the scene.
"Now, Emelius, take the girl," Paul exclaimed, pointing at Penelope, "your time to shine!"
"I'm on my road," Emelius proclaimed as soon as he slid down from the railroad and came up to Penelope, "what the heck, little lady? Need a ride?"
"Uh-huh," Penelope nodded and nodded to him.
"You're coming with me," Emelius grinned back, holding her in his arm as soon as he took out his lasso, throwing it onto a ledge and soon pulled himself and her up and soon they went to join the others after Slim.
"I dropped out of clown college because of this," Wesley asked himself in disbelief.
"Time to go," Alec shouts, "let's get to the path!"
Soon they went through the mine with Slim in their clutches.
"Let's get outta here," Emelius said as he held onto Penelope.
"Come back here, dog meat," Junior frowned as he was seen chasing after Buck.
"Jackpot," Maggie smirked.
"We have him now," Grace beamed.
"Well done," Mrs. Calloway grinned.
Penelope gasped and pointed out to the others as she saw the horse and buffalo. "Watch out!"
They hit him, flying away and leaving Buck clinging onto the cart.
"Hey, Casey Jones, turn on the getaway express," yelled Mr. Wesley upset to Bill, who took the bag and got onto the train before Buck shot past with Slim in the mine-cart, with the buffalo, cows and group following behind.
"It's Slim! I've had Slim," Buck squeaked once he saw the cattle rustler.
Junior kept trying to butt his head up against Buck.
"Aahh! Wait! Leave me alone," Buck cried out in grief as soon as he was taken for a ride.
The mine cart traveled through several doors before going into an elevator, which rode up with them. Junior looked up to that before the others ran against him and soon he yelped out as he fell off of the ledge.
"He just seriously Goofy yelled," Joanie asked the others.
"Sound effect as standard," Alec shrugged before doing a double-take, "but wait...has anyone seen Paul?"
"Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim," shout the Willie brothers as they run in.
"In here, hide," yelled Mrs. Calloway upset as they ran into another shaft, as Jesse started it and it shot upwards.
Joanie shivered a bit from them all being pressed together, but luckily for her, it wouldn't last long.
"It's alright, Joanie, we won't be here long," Jesse warned her.
Soon Bill and Gil ran the other road as the subway took them up.
Meanwhile, Buck ran out of the burrow with the mine-cart, with Slim and Paul inside, racing past Rico, who turned to see them go fast.
Suddenly, Buck skidded to a halt. "That was Rico," he exclaimed, before jumping around and going back towards the bounty hunter.
"What the hell of blue," asked Rico, before the cows showed up and took the cart.
"Thanks, gang," Paul grinned, twirling the frying pan, "now I can continue to take revenge!"
Buck frowned and chased after the cart.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Ed," Joanie called out on the road.
Soon Junior got free and began to chase after Buck while Rico frowned at the scene. While Buck was busy getting reacquainted with Junior, Slim began to awaken.
"Junior," he called to the buffalo while calling Junior's name, but Lucky Jack took another pan and knocked him out cold once more.
Buck was now attempting to remove a barrel from his head as the Willie brothers and Jadis were on a winch cart, coming after the others. Soon Rico put a saddle on the horse once he got free.
"Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle," Buck gushed before soon he rode away with Rico on his back.
Everyone on the mine-cart with Slim kept riding away, going up and down and all around.
"I think I'll be siiiiick," Joanie cried out in despair.
"COWABUNGA," Alec and Paul yelled as they shot through the mines.
Suddenly, Jadis and the Willie brothers burst in. "Surprise," said Phil, before Lucky Jack knocked out both of them. But Jadis pulled the brakes on the mine-cart, and the resulting sparks from the skidding to a halt lit all the dynamite fuses.
With a collective shriek of terror, the group shot out of the mine as the explosion tore through the hallway, launching them outside and getting them safely onto the tracks.
"We did it," cheered Maggie.
"YEE-HAW," Paul whooped as he kissed Carrie.
"Mission accomplished, folks," Carrie beamed before kissing Paul back.
"Guys! We have company," Lucky Jack said as he saw something coming.
Then Slim came to again and yelped as he saw a train coming down the tracks with them on it.
"THE TRAIN IS COMING FOR US," Joanie cried out in despair.
Phil was pulling on a lever with Wesley as the train was about to hit them and they all yelled out, but luckily, they weren't harmed.
"Whoever isn't dead, ring out," Alec called. A chorus of growls and moans were his only response. "Good!"
In a fit of frustration, Slim threw the mine cart away from himself. "DAGNABIT," he growled, catching the three cows in a headlock and hitting them to the ground, "I think I have to do EVERYTHING by myself!"
Paul jumped up. "You lousy skunk! Leave them alone," he shouts, as Jadis catches him by the arms.
"Well, well, what have we got here," Slim smirked towards Paul.
"You know damn well who I am, you yodeling bastard," Paul growled, thrashing to get out of Jadis's grasp, "you do went to get my cows...aside from Maggie, my pride and my joy. And I'll NEVER see each other again! I came with my friends to give you what you deserve what's right!"
"These are fighting words for a little stuff like you," Slim frowned, "you wanna bet? Well, let's fight!"
"C'mon, Mr. Yodel Man," Paul replied, "I'll take you right here, right now!"
Soon Slim brought out his own gun with a scowl. Soon black bars appeared as a guitar string played with the shrieking of a hawk like an old Wild West flick. Paul squinted as he reached into his pocket and took out a pistol of his own.
"Love of the earth," Carrie cried out in despair as she watched this in shock.
"My money, please," said Slim, as Mr. Wesley handed him the bag.
"I was just keeping it safe for you," replied the man sheepishly.
"Of course you were," said Slim, "protecting my investments is what I pay THIS guy for. Mr. Wesley, let me introduce the most treacherous hired gun I've ever had the pleasure of calling my partner...RICO!!"
The mercenary in question jumped down from the train. "You're too kind, boss," he drawled.
"WHAT," Paul asked.
"Are you deaf? Rico was working for Slim," Jadis chuckled to him.
"No, it can't be," Buck whispered in shock.
"His reputation as a bounty hunter is well-known, but he has shed some light on the moon lately and covered our tracks," Slim smirked as Rico came down, "Rico will accompany you to the border, where nothing else goes wrong."
"Nice work, Buck," Jesse said sarcastically.
"I-I swear, I didn't know," Buck replied.
"Now, if you'll excuse me....." Slim smirked as he changed into his disguise and got on Junior, "there's a little piece of heaven up for auction this morning!"
Grace gasped. "He'll buy our farm," she exclaimed, and the cows began tugging at the ropes.
"Farewell! YEE-HAW," shouts Slim as Junior takes off.
Rico got onto Buck. "I don't know how you got confused with that, but stick around and you might come to appreciate the other side of the law," he remarked, as Buck looked disappointed.
"And us," questioned Paul, "what are you going to do with that?"
"You brats like these cows so much, go with them," Wesley frowned, shoving them all into the train.
"I'm innocent, I warn you," Richie cried out in despair as if he was being sent to jail.
"Aw, shut up," Wesley rolled his eyes, "you have a brain LIKE a cow. Hurry up! You don't want to be late for that big sweep in the heavens!"
"Oh, I didn't know they had roundups in the heavens..." Richie said, "is it close to Mount Olympus?"
"It means they're aiming to murder us," Paul snapped.
"Oh..." Richie said before his eyes widened, "ohh! No, please, I have a little sister! Yes, it bothers me to death, but she needs me!"
"Get in there," Wesley frowned as soon as the Willie brothers shoved them all into the train together.
Joanie muffled before poking her head out as she seemed to be at the very bottom of the pile.
"Adorable," Wesley smirked, "now start the engine and let's make tracks."
Alec pulled Joanie up before dusting her away.
Suddenly, they heard someone yelling outside. "TAKE A BREAK, GANG! RUN!!"
"Buck," asked Paul in disbelief, "are you crazy?!"
"That's totally possible," replied the horse as he thrashed around, injuring Rico, "or perhaps I just figured out...who the REAL heroes are!"
"Better late than never," Alec replied.
"But wait! What if it's some kind of trick," asked Gertie.
As if to respond her question, Buck hurled Rico into the air and donkey-kicked him, knocking him out.
"Oh, this is not a trick," Mrs. Calloway exclaimed, "that's a MIRACLE!! C'mon!"
With that said, the three bovines rammed against the car door. Soon Richie rammed into the stone barrier with them like in a football tackle, smashing against it again and again.
"This is useless," Mrs. Calloway sighed, "let's put our heads together. More brains and less muscles."
"It's the other road around for me," Richie replied, missing the point a bit.
"C'mon, guys, you should be the strongest," Joanie warned Jesse and Richie.
"If she's right, she's right," Alec shrugged, "YEE-HAAHHHH!!!!" And on that, the three of them all lunged at the door, breaking it open.
Joanie winced a little. "Did you hurt yourself?"
"I'm alright," Richie beamed as he got right back up.
Rico was about to shoot at them until Jesse ran into him, shoving him just before Grace kicked him off. Buck was handling Gil, who used a shovel, only to get hit by the shovel and kicked by Buck until Lucky Jack hit a horseshoe at his head, calling it a lucky shot.
"And as for you," Richie frowned at Rico, looking ready to lunge out at him.
"Mother of mercy.....is this the end of Rico..." the man moaned as Richie and Emelius jumped and beat him.
"Bravo! Bravo," exclaimed Buck, "you stopped Rico cold!"
Mrs. Calloway blew a little dust off her hoof. "Aw, shucks. They were nothing," she replied.
"It did us a lot of good," remarked Maggie, "Alameda Slim has already flown to the cage."
"She's right," said Grace, "unless we get our wings, we'll never go back in time."
"Aw, I also think it's unlikely...what have we done," Richie replied.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing," Mrs. Calloway frowned, "this train goes right through Patch of Heaven."
"You were saying," Carrie asked, "do we ride the train ourselves?"
"Well...I could stuff this sucker, give it the boost it needs," Alec replied, "I'm thinking...jet thrusters, on both sides!"
"It's unlikely....it's crazy...and it might just WORK," Paul exclaimed.
"Yes," Richie and Emelius beamed.
"He'll have to do that," Charlie replied, "we'd better hurry you all though. We don't have much time!"
"He's right," Jesse said, "Slim's already halfway to China, probably."
"Well, then we'll work very fast, right," asked Eglantine as Alec rubbed his hands together and shot the train with magical energy, giving it jet thrusters on both sides.
"All aboard, people," called Alec, "next stop: Patch of Heaven! Though I wonder what just happened to Jadis..."
"Who knows," Gertie sighed.
"Who cares," Joanie rolled her eyes, "if I see that slut again, it'll be too soon. What kind of name is Jadis anyhow?"
"Best point," replied Paul, "plus, I threw her in the car with Rico and his buddies after Buck cleared all the cattle. Now let's go roll!"
"Yes! We're out of here! And I'm going to Disneyland," Richie grinned.
The Wild West adventure group looked confused to that.
"Ah, you'll find out sure enough," Richie warned them.
"And I'm coming with you," Penelope said as he stood behind Emelius, "that silly Slim and Mrs. Jadis got me because I can speak to animals and they were using me to go find animals for them because where there are animals, there are farms. I really miss Rusty......he's such a best dog.....probably my only friend."
"Well, then...luckily you're aboard the Vengeance Valley," Paul smirked, "now let's save that piece of heaven!"
Lucky Jack unhooked the train cars, and the train sped away into the desert after Alameda Slim.
Soon the train whistle blew out smoke as it chooted.
"I've wanted to do it my entire life," Richie grinned to the others out of emotion.
"Nice on you, buddy," Alec chuckled as he hugged Richie.
"Cows rule," Paul exclaimed, until he saw the two bulls from earlier.
"Howdy, darling! Down here," said one.
"Yes! Look...look down! Hello there," added the other.
"Oh, dear," Mrs. Calloway moaned in dismay.
"I've had two words for you guys...cold shower," shouts Charlie.
"We don't have time for this nonsense," said Eglantine, "we have a farm to save!"
"Yes, perhaps he can help you," said the bulls. "Perhaps we can help each......" but their flirting was cut off as they smacked into a pole face-first.
"Farewell! Come up and see us sometime," waved Grace.
"Don't encourage them," replied Penelope.
Soon they rode past a water tower as another train was coming.
"Uh, guys, we've had a problem," Richie spoke up.
"What is this now," Joanie rolled her eyes at him.
"There," Richie pointed out.
"Oh," Maggie panicked, "it's the Morning Express!"
"There's a gear in front," Jesse warned the others, "one of us should ride Buck and pick it up. I think we can handle it."
"I KNOW you can," Joanie said, taking him away from the train to ride on Buck's back, "just think of the adventure you've had with Moo Montana, Dakota Dude and the Colorado Boy!"
"Thanks, Joanie," Jesse said before riding away on Buck's back with Lucky Jack coming with him.
"Go for it, dude," Alec nodded, "we're, I say, we count on you."
Jesse nodded and soon rode away with Buck and Lucky Jack.
"He wore a blazing saddle~," Joanie sang as Jesse rode away in the distance, "he wore a shining star. He conquered fear and he conquered hate and he turned dark night into day for. He rode a blazing saddle a torch to light the road. Until bad men come he's a man with a gun and Jesse was his name, yes, Jesse was his name. He rode a blazing saddle a torch to light the road~"
"Wow...that's mighty impressive, Miss," Paul acknowledged.
"What? Oh, thank you..." Joanie said, "guess it was a spur for me."
Meanwhile, Jesse, Lucky Jack and Buck were approaching the switch. Taking out a lasso, Jesse swung it and it whipped around the switch, but he pulled it to switch the tracks. Then the tracks moved a bit.
"WOAH, boy," Jesse warned Buck, making the horse stop as he held onto the reins.
Soon however, the lever pulled right away from the switch.
"Oops," Jesse mumbled.
Buck panicked and soon used Lucky Jack's leg, pushing the jack rabbit down to help fix the problem. Luckily, the team's train breezed right past the Morning Express, and nobody was hurt.
"See you back in the farmyard, gang," yelled Buck upset, "farewell!"
Lucky Jack chuckled. "This is happening all the time," he remarked.
Jesse grinned to Lucky Jack and Buck as the others were able to ride off onto Patch of Heaven.
"Warthogs," the Morning Express conductor complained.
"This is it...the last countdown," Joanie warned the others from inside of the train.
"The last summary, even," Paul added, "then let's make it BEST!!"
"There it is," exclaimed Grace. "Home and hearth," added Mrs. Calloway.
"And a holy hallelujah of a curve," added Maggie as the track was curving.
"Oh, faster, the brakes," gasped Eglantine as she reached for the lever, but Paul shook his head no.
"No time for that," he replied.
"But shouldn't we skip the tracks," asked Grace. "We make our own tracks," replied Emelius.
Mrs. Calloway dipped her hat. "This is going to be messy!"
"We have to try it," Emelius warned her.
"Oh, I hope you know what you're doing here," Mrs. Calloway said hesitantly.
Soon the group yelled out as they jumped the tracks in the train.
The auction was going on as "Yancy O'Dell" was going to buy Patch of Heaven as Pearl decided to leave, but luckily, help was on the road and they all began to feel something.
"It's...it's not possible," Jadis gasped to herself.
Suddenly, the train screeched in behind the auction, sending everyone into a panicked frenzy.
Yancy waved off the dust. "What's the point of smashing your train on my property," he asked before his eyes widened in shock, "it can't be!"
"Oh, but it CAN and is, bucko," Paul remarked as Maggie, Grace and Mrs. Calloway stepped off the train.
Soon Richie appeared behind Yancy, covering his eyes with a smirk. "Guess who?"
Pearl looked worried over what was going on.
"Ready for a showdown, buddy," Richie smirked to Yancy, "don't think I don't know who you are. I'm smarter than your Willie brothers together."
"That's...true..." Maggie had to admit, "yes! Richie, you ARE smarter than them! And you're bigger and stronger as well! But...I think this is more of Paul's attempt, and perhaps Maggie's as well."
Paul winked to the others. "Thanks, gang," he grinned, before turning back with a serious expression. And on that, he and the cows charged at Yancy, before he pulled out a gun. "Keep it there," he snapped, making the cows stop in their tracks.
"Piggies, it's time to open a can of shields," said Jeb.
And before Yancy could shoot the cows, his gun was knocked from his hand by Jeb's cans, which the pigs were helping launch at him.
"Yes! Get them," Richie laughed from that.
Yancy frowned as he was hit by the cans as the piglets helped out Jeb for once. Then Jeb rolled over a barrel before soon the chicks ran over, climbing up into the man's clothes before tickling him and a piglet hit his face before one of the chicks crowed right in his ear, almost deafening him. Yancy tried to shake them away before soon he rolled on a barrel that Jeb rolled over and he smashed into a fence, splatting in some mud.
"Do you want this? Let's be nuts," Audrey frowned before pecking at him with the other hens.
Yancy was suddenly launched into the air by two pigs, but then Grace and Maggie kicked him, sending him flying into the train funnel.
Then Paul pulled down the train whistle, and the resulting wind blew away Yancy's disguise.
The Sheriff gasped. "It's Alameda Slim," he exclaimed, "and Jadis, as well!"
"You all think you've won," asked Slim. "It's not over until the fat man sings," he began to yodel again as Maggie swung her bell off her neck, and it shot into the air just as her mind gave room to the hypnosis.
Seeing the bell fly up, Grace jumped and kicked the bell, sending it flying into Alameda Slim's mouth, stopping his yodeling.
"Heh. This is an improvement," Emelius chuckled as he stood with Penelope.
"Alameda Slim and Jadis, you're under arrest," the Sheriff frowned as soon as he lassoed the two villians.
"No one messes with the Pearl girls," Grace grinned.
"Say, girls, get milk," Buck asked as he came side-by-side with Jesse and Lucky Jack.
"Buck," the group replied.
"Just joking," Buck grinned sheepishly.
Soon Slim and Jadis were thrown into the back of the wagon and carted away to prison, who growled in frustration before shouting out an enraged "STEELE!!"
This yell was so loud that it echoed across Chugwater. "Take him away, boys," said the Sheriff, "hope you like stripes."
"Sheriff," asked Paul, "Emelius here happened to find someone while we were helping to capture Slim and Jadis. Someone you might recognize, I think."
"Yes, my Lord," the Sheriff replied.
Soon Penelope came out with a grin.
"Oh! My heavenly little Penelope," the Sheriff gasped.
"Uncle Sam," Penelope beamed before running up to the man and hugging him.
"I'm so glad to see each other again," the Sheriff exclaimed before taking out a sackful of money, "Pearl, your cows can't do much with Slim's reward money...do you think you can find any use for it?"
Pearl's eyes gleamed. "Wow-ee! My farm is saved," she cheered and the townspeople came out to join her in celebrating.
"Congratulations, Ms. Pearl," Penelope grinned.
"Thank you kindly, darling," Pearl grinned back to her.
Soon everyone celebrated after another successful adventure.
"My hero~" Penelope grinned to Emelius before pulling him down to her height and soon gave him a kiss.
Emelius beamed from the kiss before his ankle burst up before hugging her.
"Way to go, Emelius," grinned Paul. "Now we all had someonem," he glanced at Carrie.
"Aww...shucks," Emelius blushed.
Carrie seemed to smirk to Paul before winking. Paul blushed as he dug his shoe into the ground.
Grace grinned all around, but soon saw someone missing. "Where's Maggie?"
Soon Mrs. Calloway looked around with her to see that someone was indeed missing.
"She's gone, man...but why," Joanie asked softly.
"I can't believe she went," sighed Grace as Paul sniffled, wiping some tears from his eyes.
"I'll miss her," replied the boy.
"So shall I, my friends," agreed Mrs. Calloway, "her cheeky manner.....her bull-headed mess.....she risked her life for us, and who are we besides strangers? We had the privilege of getting to know her...she was a woman like no other."
"A really nice cattle," Paul agreed, "the best non-human friend I've ever had."
"Straight down to her horrible body eruption," Mrs. Calloway sighed.
Then Maggie was shown to be right next to her before burping. "Ahh, that was nice!"
"I think you mean 'Excuse me'," Joanie muttered.
"Maggie," Paul beamed.
"Maggie, you're back," Gertie gasped.
"But we thought you escaped forever," Carrie commented.
"I would only have one on the road if I heard all the nice facts you said about me," Maggie grinned to the others, "you know, perhaps I could hang out for a while."
"How about forever," Grace suggested.
"Well, that's your call, Calloway," replied Maggie, "is this barn big enough for both of us?"
Mrs. Calloway smirked. "Only if you let me wear the hat."
"Yee-haw," whooped Grace.
"C'mon, move your skins, girls," said Maggie, walking over to the barn, "last until the barn sleeps standing out!"
"You know what," asked Alec, "I say we all go in to be in the picture!"
"Oh, sure," replied Charlie, "it couldn't hurt!"
Soon everyone gathered all together for a picture.
"Alright, everyone, big grins," the photographer grinned as Pearl rounded them all up together.
"Right here, Eglantine, you all have the most beautiful grin," Charlie blushed.
"Aww, thanks, Charlie," Eglantine grinned.
And as everyone grinned, the photographer took the picture, hearing the frustrated cattle rancher shout his name.
"It was then that Alameda Slim, the most infamous and feared herdsman, was arrested and exposed by five-hearted young children and three unusual dairy cows," said Lucky Jack, reading from the newspaper a few days later...until Jeb started eating the paper, "but wait! Dagnabbit, Jeb! How many times did I warn you to wait your turn?!"
"Oh, boy," Carrie sighed to that as she passed side-by-side, working with Emelius to keep the farm together until the others would came back from the state fair.
"It's so nice that Jeb has eventually found a friend," Audrey sighed happily to that.
"More like a new enemy if you ask me," Carrie smirked.
"Here they come, everyone," one of the piglets spoke up.
"Oh, goody," Emelius beamed, "it's Pearl!"
At last, Pearl was coming with Maggie, Grace and Mrs. Calloway who all had blue ribbons.
"Yippee," whooped Charlie and Paul as they danced around.
The duck, pig and rooster walked out, also wearing blue ribbons.
"Well done," congratulated Mrs. Calloway, as Maggie chuckled.
"Well, hi-ho, ladies," said a familiar voice...and it was these two bulls from earlier, "hey, Barry, three queens, two kings, huh?"
"Complete house," agreed Barry, as he kicked the door to the side, revealing Junior the buffalo.
"And the joker is wild," he added as they came in.
Paul shrugged as he took out his guitar. "Darling, I swear...once you been there....there ain't a view underneath the blue that could ever compare~" he sang as he winked at Carrie, "the only fact missing......with you as my guest~on a little Patch of Heaven, way out weeeeeeessst~!!!"
Carrie grinned as she sat close behind him from his singing.
Executive ProducersDENNIS DeSHAZERSHERYL STAMPS LEACH
Senior ProducerJIM ROWLEY
ProducersJEFF GITTLEMARTHA DATEMA LIPSCOMB
DirectorBRUCE DECK
WriterMITCH LOBROVICH
Production DesignerJESS NELSON
Musical DirectorBOB SINGLETON
Lyricists/ComposersSTEPHEN BATES BALTESLORY LAZARUS
Performance DirectorPENNY WILSON
Educational SpecialistsMARY ANN DUDKO, Ph.D.MARGIE LARSEN, M.Ed.
Cast:Voice of Barney... BOB WESTBarney's Body Costume... DAVID JOYNERVoice of Baby Bop... JULIE JOHNSONBaby Bop's Body Costume... JEFF AYERSVoice of B.J. ... PATTY WIRTZB.J.'s Body Costume... JEFF BROOKS
Cast:Shawn... JOHN DAVID BENNETT, IITosha... HOPE CERVANTESStella the Storyteller... PHYLLIS CICEROJason... KURT DYKHUIZENKathy... LAUREN KING
Cast:Juan... MICHAEL KROSTCarlos... COREY LOPEZMin... PIA MANALOKenneth... NATHAN REGANJulie... SUSANNAH WETZEL
Associate DirectorERIC NORBERG
Stage ManagerTERRIE DAVIS MANNING
Lighting DesignerSTEVEN BRILL
EditorMcKEE SMITH
Audio DirectorDAVID M. BOOTHE
Art DirectorELIZABETH SAGAN VELTEN
Wardrobe Supervisor/DesignerLISA O. ALBERTSON
Technical Operations SupervisorRANDY BREEDLOVE
Video EngineerBINK WILLIAMS
Camera OperatorsLARRY ALLEN OZ COLEMANTOM COX BRUCE HARMON
Production AudioRONALD G. BALENTINE
Boom OperatorsJAMES JOHNSONDAVID SMITH
Lighting DirectorCASEY COOK
Key GripBUZ CANNON
Lighting Board OperatorTODD DAVIS
Grip/ElectricJAMES EDWARDS
Construction SupervisorCHARLES BAILEY
Craft Shop SupervisorRAY HENRY
Art/Craft CoordinatorAMY ATHERTON
Set DresserAGGIE DAVIS-BROOKS
DraftspersonCHRISTOPHER McCRAY
Craft/Prop ArtistMARK BROGAN
Props/Special EffectsDAVID COBB
CarpentersTY M. BURNSDANNY SMITH
Scenic PainterE. (BILL) SLETTE
Swing CrewCARMELO GOMEZ
Costume Shop ManagerGEORGIA FORD WAGENHURST
Costume TechnicianD.J. SEGLER
Costume SewingNATALIE SERGI-SAARISUSIE THENNES
Make-Up DesignerJEANIE L. D'IORIO
Hair StylistDEBRA HERTEL HAEFLING
Costume/Wardrobe AssistantsBRIAN N. BLEVINSJANET BUSH
Field ProducerSANDY JANTZEN
Post VideotapeDUDLEY ASAFF
Dialogue EditorDENICE CROWELL
Post Production AudioCRAIG CHASTAIN
Production Office ManagerSUE SHINN
Script SupervisorCATHERINE REYNOLDS
Production CoordinatorsJULIE HUTCHINGSKELLY MAHER
Production AccountantDEBBIE COTTLE
Production SecretaryAUSTIN GRAY
Asst. to Performance DirectorDAVID VOSS
Production AssistantsBRADEN McDONALDJOEL ZOCH
Barney Music DepartmentJILL HANCE CHARLES KINGJONATHAN SMITH ETHEL WADSWORTH
For Singleton Productions, Inc.BRADFORD COLEMAN LARRY HARONMIKE PIETZSCH
Educational Research StaffPATSY J. ROBLES GOODWIN, M.Ed.KIMBERLY THORNTON, M.Ed.JOY STARR
Children's TeachersSANDRA GILPIN SHEILA GREGG
Children's SupervisorMARY EVANS
Barney and the Backyard Gang™ and Barney & Friends®were originally developed by Sheryl Leach,Kathy Parker and Dennis DeShazer.
Vocal Performances Enhanced with Help fromSingleton Productions, Inc.
"I Love You" • Lyrics by Lee Bernstein (BMI)
Special Thanks toTom Rennen of Intelligent Light Digital Imaging
Samuel Farm • Mesquite, TexasCity of Dallas Park and Recreation Development
Original Barney, Baby Bop and B.J.Costumes byIRENE COREY DESIGNASSOCIATES
Produced byTHE LYONS GROUP ANDCONNECTICUT PUBLIC TELEVISION
For Connecticut Public TelevisionExecutives in ChargeLARRY RIFKINSHARON BLAIR
Executive in ChargeRICHARD C. LEACH
BARNEY & FRIENDS • A Welcome HomeCopyright 2004 • Lyons Partnership, L.P.