Achu vs. Craniac vs. Nadakhan vs. Alien

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In Cloud Cuckoo Land...
Unikitty: YES! I'm getting my own TV show! Who's gonna watch it?!
Emmet: Not me. It's too girly.
Wyldstyle: I'm so proud of you, Unikitty!
Emmet: This isn't awesome.
Unikitty and Wyldstyle stare at him.
Wyldstyle: THIS from the guy who popularized "Everything is Awesome"? Give me a break.
She leaves for ARFP.
Unikitty: No, Emmet, you can't be on my show. It's allll mine!
Emmet: What a relief...
Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid, a place of vengeance and awesomeness!
Amset-Ra: Ogel is still missing. All of his usual bases are occupied by the Serpentine. Must be the free cash he left behind.
At Ogel Underwater Base...
Skales: YESSSS! OGEL LEFT HISSSSSS ENTIRE SSSSSTASSSSSH OF PIZZZZZZA BEHIND!
Mezmo: Chill. It'ssss jusssst pizzzzza.
Skales stares at Mezmo, who becomes hypnotized.
Skales: You will clean your room.
Mezmo: Yeeeessssss, massssster...
At Ogel Control Center...
Skalidor: Ssssweet! Ogel left behind all of hissssss orb-making sssssuppliesssss!
Bytar: Can I make ssssssome?
Skalidor: No, you Eruptorr impersssssonator.
At Ogel's Mountain Fortress...
Acidicus: *shiver* It'sssss not easssssy being green...
Lasha: Jussssst chill.
Acidicus: What do you think I'm doing?!
Spitta: Hey, at leasssst we have all these time-freezing Ice Orbs.
Acidicus: NO. MORE. COLD.
At a random unnamed Ogel base in the middle of nowhere...
Fangtom: Where are we?
Snappa: We're at a random unnamed Ogel basssse in the middle of nowhere.
Fangtom: Thank you, Captain Obvioussssss.
Captain Obvious: Where am I?
Fang-Suei: You're at a-
Captain Obvious: I know, I know.
At a giant, Ogel-themed skyscraper in Ninjago City...
...
...
Oh, that's right. The Anacondrai like it at ARFP.
Nindroid: Permission to rent this sector.
Owner: I'm afraid I can't do-
Draw weapon sound effect
Nindroid: Reconsider.
Owner: Sure, go ahead.
Nindroid: YAY!
And to imagine that a Nindroid owns a giant, Ogel-themed skyscraper in Ninjago City. Someone call the Ninja!
Back at ARFP...
Wyldstyle: In the Red Corner, beware the might of the lord of the Amazon, Achu!
Achu: Having recovered from my cold, your demise will be swift.
Wyldstyle: Poorly phrased, but it'll do. In the Green Corner, the surprise winner of this season and a Skull Twin ripoff, take it away for Craniac!
Craniac: This match oughtta be easy enough, with only an alien, a pirate, and a guy in a costume.
Achu scowls at Craniac, but he doesn't see it.
Wyldstyle: In the Green Corner, the hard-of-hearing Djinn Sky Pirate captain and one of three pirate captains to have fought this season, Nadakhan!
Nadakhan: Yaharr! Me work at Axle's be really payin' off! Oh, and ye be toast. Mmm... toast...
Wyldstyle shakes her head in amusement.
Wyldstyle: In the Blue Corner is the Alien who illegally defeated Tee-Vee!
Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!
Alien: Quiet! He isn't even here today!
But the audience doesn't hear him.
Amset-Ra: Alien, let them cheer for Tee-Vee. The audience is practicing their cheering for his match in two weeks.
Alien: Oh.
Wyldstyle: CoM?
Cloud of Monstrox: None of the fighters look truly battle-worthy, save Nadakhan. I expect his expert Djinn Blade and Djinn skills will earn him a fairly easy victory.
Craniac: You don't know my full potential.
Achu: Or mine.
Alien: Or mine!
Craniac: Don't make me laugh, peewee.
Alien: But my queen who's up there in the rafters told me to beat you nice and easy today.
Craniac: Pshh. Not happening.
Nadakhan: While ye be talk in' 'mongst yerselves, I be grantin' Alien's wish of his queen playing with Rathtars while he gets rice and ziti.
Alien Queen: WHO'S THE MORON WHO SUMMONED RATHTARS AGAINST ME?!
Alien: Wow! Thanks, Nadakhan.
Nadakhan: Eat up. Ye've got a nice long battle ahead of ye.
Alien: And I'll win this one for sure!
Nadakhan: Suuuuure ye will. Ye could barely stand to a Hot Dog Man two seasons ago. Ye can't possibly beat any one of us, least of all me.
Alien: I'll try my best!
Nadakhan: Shiver me timbers, didn't Yoda teach ye anything? "Do or do not, there be no try", he be sayin'.
Wyldstyle: Cut the chatter, everyone. Dalek, start us off.
Dalek: NO ONE COMMANDS THE SUPREME RACE OF THE UNIVERSE. READY! SET! EXTERMINATE!
Craniac: Ta-da! Here's my spaceship, ordered in one piece, so that I don't have to waste ten seconds constr-
Zark!
Alien: You may not be wasting time, but you're wasting words. Besides, Wyldstyle told us not to talk.
Nadakhan: Lookie here, mateys, this be Pharaoh Hotep entombed in me Djinn Blade.
Amset-Ra: You just lost my respect, Nadakhan. That's my dad in there.
Nadakhan: So?
Amset-Ra: You're fired from the Pyramid Staff.
Nadakhan: I be not carin' in the least; I be workin' at Axle's instead! As an entertainer!
Amset-Ra: The fact that our ratings drop drastically when I interfere in battles is the only reason I'm not coronaing you right now.
Nadakhan: You can't corona me anyway! You might break me blade, and your dad too!
Achu: O Sun Disc, come to me; And expel these fighters three!
Vorp!
Wyldstyle: And Achu has summoned his Sun Disc. I wonder what he plans to do with it...
Alien: Hey Craniac! Do you realize how much you look like Terry?
Craniac: I'm meaner than he is, and he's neglected in favor of a hacker.
Alien: But he has a better record than you!
Craniac turns on Alien.
Craniac: Records don't matter, underling. And if you want to save yourself a desconstructing, I suggest you stand in front of me.
He does.
SheeeeennnnnnZARK!
Craniac and Achu high five.
Craniac: What a gullible species the Phobans are...
Wyldstyle: Craniac has tricked Alien into standing right in the path of Achu's Sun Disc. That was awesome!
Alien: No it wasn't...
Emmet: You just made my song a lie!
Alien: I did not!
Nadakhan: Too much focus on the Alien here! Sophisticated Djinn pirate comin' through!
Craniac: I wish he'd give up his pride...
Nadakhan: Ye wish ye'd give up yer ride? Wish granted!
Poof!
Craniac: Hey, my speeder bike!
Wyldstyle: Nadakhan just made Craniac's speeder bike disappear!
Nadakhan: I be only havin' one more wish left. Achu, it be yer turn.
Achu: My only wish is that you will leave me alone.
Nadakhan: Sure I can leave ye a bone! In fact, here's the whole skeleton!
Poof! Block!
Wyldstyle: Nadakhan made a skeleton fall out of the sky, but Achu blocked it with his Sun Disc.
Nadakhan: Now I be havin' a wish fer you, matey. I wish-
Zingzingzing!
Craniac: Game's up, Nad.
Nadakhan: It be very bad luck when ye interrupt one's wishes! Now ye'll pay!
Swing!
Craniac: Stop swinging Amset-Ra's dad at me!
Nadakhan: Saaaaay, when ye put it that way, it does sound strange... Here ye go.
He releases Pharaoh Hotep, who is instantly swarmed by reporters.
Reporter 1: Pharaoh Hotep!
Reporter 2: What was it like inside that Djinn Blade?
Reporter 3: Was it rusty in there?
Reporter 4: Did you feel like your energy was being used?
Reporter 5: Can I have your autograph?!
Pharaoh Hotep: Look! It's Mr. Gold!
The reporters stampede across the ring and out of the arena. Alien is trampled.
Dalek: ALIEN IS EXTERMINATED.
Wyldstyle: So tell me, Hotep, what was it like in that Djinn Blade?
Pharaoh Hotep: It was actually quite roomy in there. But knowing the media, they'll twist the story...
Wyldstyle: So we'll call them the Nadakhan Reporters!
Achu: Sun Disc, transform.
CONVERT!
Craniac: What...?
Nadakhan: Ye got to be kiddin'!
Achu: I do not kid. This is a ridable lawn mower with flick missiles.
Flame Thrower: JEEEEESTROOOOO! ACHU COMMITTED PLAGIARISM!
Jestro: I DON'T CARE!
Wyldstyle: Yes, Achu did commit plagiarism, for he rebuilt The Glob Lobber out of his Sun Disc.
Craniac: Construct!
CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK
Craniac: It's the Stealth Hunter from Exo-Force.
Hikaru: More plagiarism!
Sensei Keiken: It's okay. This is the only place in the world where plagiarism is accepted.
Hikaru: Oh.
Craniac: Did anyone tell you how truly wimpy your vehicle looks, Sneezy?
Achu: Do not condescend my superiority.
Fwoosh fwoosh!
Craniac: GAH! GET THESE GLOBLINS OUTTA MAH COCKPIT!
Achu: No.
Nadakhan:' Wish granted!
Poof!
Craniac: NOOOO! NOT THE POPCORN! IT BURRRRRNS!
Wyldstyle: Thanks to Nadakhan, another mishearing summons popcorn into the cockpit with Craniac!
Nadakhan: Thanks, Achu! Now I be returnin' th' favor!
Chopchopchopchopchopchopchopchop
Achu: Jestro will be mad at you...
Wyldstyle: Nadakhan has just chopped Achu's vehicle into pieces!
Jestro: It's MY vehicle.
Achu: You have shattered the Sun Disc. For this... you must be entombed... IN CANDY!
Poofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoof
Nadakhan: THIS BATTLE BE SO RANDOM!
Amset-Ra: Next one to speak in caps gets to be Janitor of the Week.
Craniac: JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!
Stumble! Crash!
Dalek: CRANIAC IS EXTERMINATED.
Amset-Ra: Craniac, go get the bucket and mop.
Wyldstyle: Having Globlins and loads of popcorn in the Stealth Hunter took its toll, and it caused Craniac to fly out of control and out of the ring!
Nadakhan: Now it be ye and me, Achu.
Achu: You already underestimate me and my mystical powers.
Bling!
Nadakhan: What be ye doing?!
Achu: You are now hovering two feet above the ground.
Nadakhan: So?
Achu: Then I will put you six feet under the ground. Later, though.
Nadakhan: I wish ye'd do somethin' already!
Achu: I wish you would stop squirming.
Nadakhan: Here be yer rap worm!
Poof! Chomp!
The Great Devourer: *Random Rap Song*
Dalek: ACHU IS EXTERMIMATED. NADAKHAN IS THE WINNER.
Nadakhan: I didn't think I be gettin' this far...
In the shadows somewhere...
???: He's doubting himself. That will make my second match easier after I win my first!
Anubis Guard: What are you doing, Invisible?
Invizable: Gah! Er, uh...
Craniac is mopping the halls below the ring.
Craniac: Why me? That Dalek speaks in caps all the time!
He then sees his speeder bike in the utility closet.
Craniac: I'll get you, Nadakhan...
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Category:Battles
Category:Season 3 Battles
Category:Round 2 Battles