Drago, Malfrous, and Colms go for a trip

During the hot summer, Drago, Malfrous, and Colms go for a relaxing road trip to somewhere. They will ride for no reason at all, crusing the highway and stopping for no reason to sightsee. Most of it ends terribly.
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=== DAY ONE ===
"Drago." Muttered Malfrous in the drivers seat. "Can you put your bloody clothes back on?" Drago sat in the right seat of the van, tossing his clothes out the window, however, he still somehow kept his 'LEVEL 3' pin on his chest the entire time. Meanwhile, Colms sat in the back with a waffle suit on, with the same blank stare, not moving an inch.
"Hey, look." Malfrous said, pulling over to the side. "A fair." He parked by the ranch, as an old wooden sign hung above reading, 'Totally Family Fun Safe Cool Happy Fun Time Fair'. A single table with an old, dancing man with a creepy smile stood next to it. "Looks like fun!" Malfrous said with a smile and jumped out the van. Drago dragged Colms outside, as he made no attempt to walk outside himself. Malfrous walked toward the table, along with Colms being dragged on the floor by a groaning Drago...with the same blank stare.
They walked to the table and the old man suddenly bent over with a crack, and Malfrous could have sworn a bone stuck out of his hip as he shouted, 
=== "TAKE A SEAT, YA DUMB FUHKS!" ===
He said with a smile. "I don't think this is going to be fun, Malfrous." Drago said, eyeing the pile of moldy chicken legs on the table. Malfrous and Drago took a seat while Colms plopped himself on the last seat. 
After three minutes of unpleasant silence, the old man screamed,
=== "EAT! EAT! EAT! EAAAT!" ===
Suddenly, Drago stuck his mouth into the pile of chicken. Malfrous suddenly dug in, too. Colms sat there with the same face. Not making a move. Suddenly, the old man farted a cloud of dust, making a sound the equivalent of a bullet being shot. "AND THE WIIIINEER EESH...."
=== "MISTAH POKEUPIIINE!" ===
Suddenly, Drago grasped his throat and began to choke, a single chicken bone flying out of his mouth. The bone flew into the chest of the old man like a knife. The old man groaned as blood leaked from a hole in his pants. Malfrous began to laugh and choke at the same time, while Colms sat there with his waffle costume with the same...stare...
=== Day Two ===
Malfrous and Drago nearly died in that fair. 
Malfrous continued to drive as Drago kept on coughing out bits of rottin chikin 
Malfrous sighed as the sun began to go down. "We better find somewhere to sleep, that hotel was creepy as fuck." Drago said. "Yeah, that room service lady began to clean Colms with a sponge while he was sleeping." Malfrous said. 
"Hey, look." Drago said as they passed a sign.
Public Camp Site, one foot ahead.
"Wha-" Malfrous suddenly rammed his van into a tent, followed by the screams of what sounded like little children. "Uhh... we can rest here for the night."
Malfrous came out of the tents with three tiny bloodstained body bags. "We'll just, uh, put this in the van." He tossed it through the van window, glass shattering. Malfrous and Drago put the tent back up and put in some tree-shaped air fresheners. 
Drago and Malfrous and Colms got inside. Drago and Malfrous laid on the floor and put blankets over themselves. Colms just kinda sat there looking outside with that weirdass pervert stare. 
Suddenly, the bushes began to shake. "Malfrous did you hear that?" Drago asked. "Reproduction...'tis a bootiful 'ting!" Moaned Malfrous. Suddenly, a knife came flying through the air, flying straight into Colms' neck. Colms flew out of the tent into the forest by the forces of the impact. Drago and Malfrous glanced at eachother. A man with a ski mask suddenly shuffled out of the bushes. "Ch, ch, ch, ah ah ah..." He whispered. "OHM HEL:!?" Screamed Malfrous as he ran under the tent with Drago. They both ran into the van, locking the doors. Malfrous smashed his foot into the pedal, and they began to drive off. Suddenly, the man took off the ski mask, revealing a familiar face - the old man at the fair. 
"MISTAH POKEUPINE, YU FORGIT UR REWORD!" Malfrous backed up suddenly and rammed the back of his van into the old man's face, followed by a terrible crunch of bones. "Uhh.... Let's just step on it." Malfrous said as they drove off into the night. "Let's head back to that hotel...."
Le End! ~