Bob, HHW & L1G 3: The Breakup

Bob, HHW, and L1G 3 is an amazing story.
== Plot ==
In 2030, 31-year-old Bob and L1G are happily married with two children. They live in Nowhere, Athens, and are a happy family. 
But one day, a Category 17 Hurricane is heading for the area. Bob and L1G do not prepare, as they are topkek, and instead move to their recently acquired Eternal Van, where they spend the nights driving for an eternity on the Eternal Athens Transit Authority Nationalized Former Tuba Corporation Monorail Yellow Line from Nowhere to Trevorville, because sad. 
After the hurricane, they get out of the Eternal Van and find that their house has been destroyed and sent to Siberia by Holy Leader Putin. Therefore they are now citizens of the Eternal Van Revolutionary Army, Nowhere Regiment, Athens Team. This is good and wholesome. 
Despite this very positive thing, there was trouble brewing. A prosm came up to the door, shouting random events such as 2015 Kuwait City bombing, 2019 Sri Lanka bombing, and the 2027 Athens commieblock bombings. L1G hated this, but Bob thought it was good and wholesome, agreeing with the truth. L1G started to fight Bob because of this, until they were throwing Category 5 Hurricanes at each other. This continued until they filed their divorce papers.
When Bob was walking home from the divorce clinic, a broken man from the only person he ever loved BETRAYING him, he saw Mario and Nicole doing non-PG-13 things to the air, as well as Cosmo excitedly talking about his 37th waifu to Lucarius, who was a waifu extraordinaire with 581 recorded waifus. But nobody, certainly not Bob, cared about that, to be honest. What he REALLY cared about was the floating towel with the text "L2G will come". That made him happy, as that was the prophecy that L1G was given to him in, as a 14 year old in 2014. However, he was only hallucinating and Bob knew this. Little did he know that the L1G prophecy was also a hallucination!
When Bob got home, he found that the FBI had arrived and were investigating his computer. It had 19,200 images of L1G on it! Luckily for Bob, none of these were illegal. However, the FBI agent who was searching through his computer saw a Discord server in the server list. The name of the server was "Hypothetical Hurricanes."
It turned out that the FBI agent was HurricaneTracker! He went insane, smashing Bob's computer to pieces before throwing random events at Bob. Bob screamed as the random events sunk deep into his mind.
The FBI then DDOS'd wikia, having determined that HHW was illegal, violating 7,218 anti-hurricane war laws. Every single person worldwide who had ever used HHW, including banned users, vandals, and sockpuppets (a clone being spawned via Mark Zuckerburg's clone() function) arrested, teleported to the same courtroom, and given 8,129 years in prison. 
But they had no handcuffs on...
PART II is HERE