2012-08-24 Awkward Wake-Up

It was late evening by the time Donna got back last night. Like, wee hours of the mourning late. She wanted to make sure she wouldn't be seen going into the apartment. She just wanted a hot shower and then to get her stuff and get out. All before there was even the faintest chance of Tim showing up. Granted, she wasn't overly concerned about it. He was only supposed to make it into New York three or four times a month. Surely he wouldn't be back so soon.
As the sun floods the apartment, it would seem as if things are just how they were the last time Tim was in here except for one small difference. The scent of plum and cherry blossoms still hangs faintly in the air and the door to the master bedroom is mostly closed.
She hadn't meant to fall asleep after her shower. She had only meant to close her eyes for just a moment. She was so tired. Three days worth of crying. It had gone until there weren't any tears left in her and then gone far past that. She had raged and sobbed and finally just given in. That's when she returned.
He wasn't supposed to be by today either. She had counted on him staying in Gotham. It's the only reason she had taken the risk... shown the weakness of snagging one of his dress shirts to use to wear while she rested for a moment and got her things together. The latter happened, at least. Her suitcases sit, ready to go, just inside the bedroom door.
Donna, however, seems to be fast asleep on the bed, a set that's purple with pink hearts showing faintly through his shirt and the sheet piled around her waist and down to her knees. She lays on her stomach, hair half covering her face and the rest splayed out on the pillow.
Tim can't belive he forgot his phone. Packing for college, running patrols, trying to figure out what the hell is going on with his love life, Donna disappaering, Jason attacking, Nightwing offering him a spot on the Titans, its....been crazy to say the least. Robin slips in from the roof entrance, and slides down the rail, making his way to the kitchen.
He pulls his mask off, glancing at the sunlight starting to stream through the windows a moment. "Just made it." he mutters, grabbing his phone off the counter and pocketing it with a mental self-kick. He opens the fridge and pulls out the jug of orange juice, giving it a sniff to see if it still drinkable. Thats when he smells it.
Plums and cherry blossoms. Donna. Tim moves back towards the bedroom and stops in the door way, knocking softly and seeing the door open. He pushes it open the rest of the way, calling out. "Donna?"
No. NoNoNo! She didn't want to wake up. She was warm and safe and happy in her dreams. Why can't she ever hold on to that feeling. Slowly her eyes half open, flutter a moment before they snap open completely. "Fuck!" Instantly, she's over the bed and on the far side of the room from Tim.
Her eyes lift to his and for just a split second, there's a warmth and then it's gone. "I'll be gone in a minute." Her voice holds no warmth. No affection. Nothing. Just like her eyes, which a dull version of the blue-green that used to dance and sparkle.
"No..." Tim says softly. He has a jug of orange juice in one hand, and his mask in the other, and he walks in. "I don't want you to go." he says, like he has a choice in the matter.
"What happened? I left to go to Metropolis...and you were just gone when I got back."
Tim moves into the room, and sets the OJ and his mask on the dresser. "Talk to me Donna. What the hell is going on? I...I don't understand and I'm really really worried."
There's a rather unladylike snort from the young woman as she takes the long way around the room to keep her distance from him. "You're between me and my clothing." She immediately reaches over to snatch the sheet and wrap around her as she watches him.
"And I'm going to be gone again. Move." Despite the fact that one would think there'd be /some/ sort of emotion in her voice, there's not. "I find it hard to believe you're worried. And even on the off chance you are, I'm no longer your concern so I'm sure it's something you'll get over. You'll be too busy learning to do new tricks for your handler soon anyhow."
"What?!?" Tim says, shaking his head and turning and making a beline to block the door again. "Donna, what the hell are you talking about? What is going on?!" Tim asks, getting a little frantic.
"Don't leave me like this. You are my best friend, and I think I deserve to at least know why I'm being shut out."
"Don't make me move you, Timothy." Donna watches him, listens to him carefully, reaches out with her empathy and her truth sense. "Best friend? That's laughable." Again she's silent fora moment. "You want to know what happened?" Her eyes narrow at him, the first display of emotion and it's anger. So much like Jason, she's become. "I bought your bullshit line about not being broken. I was almost convinced I could be normal. I could lead a normal life despite the way I felt. And then my supposed best friend, the one person who I thought was always honest with me, lied through his fucking teeth. Like a good dog, he just rolled the fuck over. Decided I was too far gone and staying with someone who can't tell him everything, who treats him like shit, was better than there mere thought of following through on what he said and ending it." Then the emotions are gone and nothing but that hollow look returns. "At least I know now just how broken I was. And I'm done trying to hold myself together."
"You are /not/ broken. And I have always been honest with you. You're the empath, Donna. Read me now. I'm a lying to you? You know everything about me. Read me. Always. If I can't tell you, I will tell you that I can't tell you. You were the one bright spot in my life, and I'm confused as fuck right now." Robin starts, shaking his head to try to keep some of the confused anger out of his voice. He doesn't move from the doorway though, even knowing that Donna could move him with ease if she wanted too.
"I came back here as soon as I could to talk to you, and you were /gone/. So I have no idea what you heard, or what happend to you, or anything. Even if you never want to call me your friend, I at least should get the chance to hear what I did wrong. To explain my side of it. So if your gonna move me and run...then do it. But you are going to have to move me, Donna. Because I am not giving up on you without a fight."
"You already gave up on me!" She's not going to cry. She absolutely won't. She won't show how much it hurts to rehash this. And no, those absolutely aren't tears running down her cheeks. "It's your girlfriend keeping secrets, not you or me." She shrugs, trying desperately to play it all of. "I already know what happened between you and you b--girl. I ran into her on my way out of the embassy. Congratulations on rolling over like a good boy. I'm sure you'll both be very happy. She'll wipe her feet on you just as she always has and you'll lay down and take it."
She advances on him, getting up in his face. "I felt everything you did that day in the pool, Timothy. Imagine my surprise that, after hearing you say you were going to break up with her and just wanted to do it face to face if she'd meet with you otherwise it would be done through text or voice... After listening to you spew bullshit after the talk we had about what we were both looking for, after I said I wanted the chance to expierence it with you... what was the line?" Her voice mimics his, "That sounds....awesome." Her voice returns to normal. "And I bought it. That's the worst part. I bought it... And then I ran into Kara..."
She shakes her head. "You don't get to say shit like that to me, take back some bi--girl who treats you lower than dirt, and then try to tell me you give a damn about me!"
Tim blinks in confusion, and then shakes his head a moment. "Is that what she told you? She asked me to forgive her, and asked for a week to try and convince her cousin of something she couldn't tell me. So I gave her a week." Tim says, his voice losing that edge of anger as a bit of understanding seems to cross his features.
"She said she could fix everything, and she just needed a week. How...how could I not give her that chance? And yes...I did say we would be awesome. Because we're friends, Donna. I'm not sure what it is your looking for from me. I'm not sure what any of you are looking for from me. I get around you and it gets so hard to....to think! I know you're feeling from me nothing more than wanting to pin you to the bed and disappear into your eyes. But it scares the hell outta me too."
Tim turns, moving down the hallway shaking his head, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "All of this. It all scares the hell outta me. Where did the girl who was teasing me in the pool go? The one who was telling me that she wasn't looking for a relationship, just a friend to go to the movies with, and get coffee, and hang out and watch movies and stuff? I don't understand." he pleads, walking away, confused anger creeping back into his voice again.
"She disappeared when your girlfriend told her that you took her back even though there were things she couldn't tell you. She disappeared when she realized that despite everything you said, she wasn't enough. She disappeared on the sands of a beach she used to love when she finally understood that laying herself completely open to you, letting herself be vulnerable and trusting you not to break her further... Had the one person she trusted more than anything ripped from her." A small sniffle comes from Donna, her cheeks wiped at furiously.
Kneeling, she unzips one of her suitcases. "I wasn't looking for anything from you except a chance to continue being your friend and to see where things might lead. I never would have let anything come between our friendship. Even if we hadn't worked, I would have still been there. This though..?" She pulls a black hoodie on and hunts down a pair of jeans. "You lied to me, Tim. I could have handled anyone in the world lying to me but you."
Tim turns and walks back towards Donna, a look of purpose heavy on his face. "Are you reading me right now, Donna? Please do. If I lied to you...I'm sorry. I never meant to. You are the one person in the world that I would never tell a lie too. I promise you that. If this is what you want...then go. I don't understand. And I'm really really hurt, but you do what you have to do for you. I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself...and you can still have the apartment. I'll never come back here agian."
Donna's head lifts and she looks up at him. For the first time, emotions enter her eyes. Pain, affection, confusion, anger... They all swirl in those blue-green depths as she stands to face him completely. "What do you want from me, Tim?" Her voice is a soft whisper and she sounds as broken as she claimed to be. "Do you think this doesn't kill me? The idea of walking away from you?"
Her eyes search his and again the tears start. "Your not supposed to have this effect on me anymore. I swore to myself I wouldn't cry... I wouldn't hurt... I wouldn't want to just have you hold me and make it better..."
"Do you have any idea how much it destroyed me to hear Kara say you took her back after what you told me? What you led me to believe? Do you have any idea how much it broke my heart to walk away from this place? From you?"
"No...I didn't know Donna." Tim confesses. "I'm stupid when it comes to women. I am so sorry. I...should have remembered that you have these feelings for me, and I should have been more mindful of my words. Maybe one day you can forgive me."
"Until then...know that I will miss you. Terribly." the young man says, kneeling down next to Donna on the floor to help her zip her bag back up and finish packing.
He stops and looks up at her, only a foot away, and smiles weakly. "And you are not broken, Donna. Believe in that, even if you no longer believe in me."
"You're not stupid." His next words cause her to wince. "This has nothing to do with the echo of feelings that is there from a different life, Tim." Donna gives a sigh and reaches out for one of his hands. "What happened that day in the pool followed by what Kara said is what this centers around."
She looks at his hand a moment before her eyes lift to his. "Why? After everything she did... Everything we talked about... Knowing she's keeping secrets... Why?" She's struggling to understand and it's disconcerting that he has the ability to get through her guards so easily.
"It's so completely stupid, that if I tell you, your going to hate me even more." Tim says, shaking his head weakly and moving his free hand to take Donna's between his gloved ones. "Becasue...I've never done it before. Kara is...the first. My first date..my first kiss...my first love. I...I'm scared. I was there...and she was crying again, and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't make it worse. She seemed like she was in so much pain that I couldn't add to it. A week seemed such a small price to pay."
The realization that he might have been played like two dollar fiddle seems to dawn on the young man right then. "And the tears started when I mentioned that maybe she needed some time alone....I am so fucking stupid." he says.
"Is that what you think, Tim? That I hate you?" Her free hand lifts to cup his cheek. "I don't. I couldn't. Ever. You're my best friend. My greatest weakness. And you terrify me. It's so easy for you to slip past my defenses. For you to get close and see all the parts of me I try to keep hidden." Her eyes search his. "With you I'm happy and contant and I laugh and... life is good. And I'm terrified of losing that. Of losing you."
Her eyes drop. "I barely saw you when you and Kara were together." She gives a shake of her head. "And you are right. We would be good together. And it would be easy. We both know it. I wasn't trying to push you into anything, you know. I would have given you the time you asked for to get things together. I guess there was a miscommunication. I wanted a chance to see where things could go for us. I thought that's what you were agreeing to so when..."
She blinks, looking up at him curiously. "I disagree but what makes you say this?" And then realization of what he's telling her lights in her eyes, her temper flares again and she winces. "I'm sorry, handsome. That's messed up shit." She tries to flash a smile. "Aren't you glad I never play the stupid girl games?"
Tim shakes his head and pushes himself to his feet. "Stay. Please. Give me a week." he asks, smirking lightly. "If I can't fix this, I promise I will come right back here and you will be the first one to know. You are my best friend, hands down Donna." the teen says, reaching down to help pull Donna to her feet. "I don't want to hurt that. But I need some time to figure this out and see what I want. I may choose to end it with Supergirl. I may not. I may choose to ask you out on a real date, and see what we can be. I may not. I may choose to just....be me for a while. My whole life is in trasition right now. I start at Metropolis University here on Monday, and....I need to get my head on straight." the boy confesses truthfully.
He then steps forward quickly and tries to lock Donna into a huge bearhug. "And you have no idea how glad I am that you don't play games with me. Well...maybe you do Ms. Empath, but...yes. I am so glad."
A deep breath is taken, as if she's bracing herself. "I'll tell you this up front, Tim... If I'm the one your calling the single bright spot in your life, if I'm the one it's hard to think around and you want to get lost in... Then you've already left Kara. You just haven't done it officially."
When she's wrapped up in the hug, Donna smiles for the first time. Her body relaxes against him and she sighs softly. "I missed you." Her head lifts so she can kiss his cheek. "Take the time you need, handsome." She gives a smirk and her eyes begin to shine. "I can't promise not to fight for you."
She then gives a laugh and a shake of her head. "I never manipulate your emotions or play off of what's there. I did it today to make sure you weren't..." The sentence trails off and her eyes drop. "I'm sorry," she whispers softly.
"You may be right about Kara. I...just need to think on it. Regardless of what I choose...I still want to be your friend, Donna. You started as the bright spot as my friend, and I hope that will never fade." Tim says, setting Donna down and grinning.
"And...if you'll forgive me, I'll forgive you for...the last few days. I think we crossed a wire somewhere. Lets just reset reboot okay." the teen says, before looking down at himself and grinning. "I...need a shower and to change." he says says. "Sorry...I didn't know you'd be here. I...left my phone of the kitchen counter. Fate I guess."
"I'm a girl. I know these things. Of course, I'm right." There's a teasing tone to Donna's voice before she takes a deep breath. "You want my honest opinion, Tim? Yes, I think you need to break up with Kara but I don't think we should date. Not right away at least. I think you need to focus on you for a bit. Like you said, you're starting school soon... You have you night job to take care of... I think you need to get you settled before you worry about dating. And yes, I'll be there the entire time. As your friend."
She grins. "We can keep all the plans we made. We'll take off one day and just go for a ride and a picnic somewhere. We'll go to the beach. You have a life you need to get in order and you need to be certain of yourself and what you want first." She reaches out to hug him tightly again. "Tell Kara just that. That you need to focus on you for a while. That you need to figure out where you stand. She'll accept it or she won't."
When he mentions a shower, she smirks. "We could always go swimming again. I promise I have a suit with me this time." When he apologizes, her head dips, hair hiding her face as she blushes. "I hadn't planned on falling asleep, actually. I had planned on getting my stuff and leaving." She gives a small chuckle. "Fate... That's a nice thought. That it's fate that we be in each other's lives.
Tim grins and smirks a little. "Sorry about the...pin you to the bed comment. I.." he trails off and blushes a second. "Wasn't really thinking there. Just sort of talking. I think...seing you in a swim suit is gonna do all the wrong things to my brain right now. DOn't be offended if I pass? I've still gotta finish packing. I just really needed my phone."
A brow arches up at him. "Why? It was true. And very flattering." Donna can't help but chuckle and take a step back. "It's very difficult not to kiss you at the moment so I think passing is a good idea, yes." Another smile is offered. "If there's anything I can do to help, Tim, just let me know. As soon as I get a new phone, I'll give you the number."
"And please...keep the apartment. Don't feel you need to leave at all. Call me when you get a new phone. I'll be in Metropolis most of the weekend, but I'll do a coffee date with you soon. Oh, how do you feel about pizza? Theres this little mom'n pop place right down the street from my new place that has the best pizza." Tim says, backing out of the room and moving to the guest room. He's already pulling his Robin outfit off in the hallway as he moves into the next room. Well, the belt and the top half anway. That scent of the dark chocolate body spray he uses mixed with sweat and leather trailing after him. "Wanna do breakfast this morning? I think I can stay for an hour or so."
It's only then that Donna realizes she still hasn't pulled her jeans on! The hoodie is immediately yanked off and traded for a blouse that's red with loose arms and lace around the V that dips somewhat low. This is paired with a pair of stonewashed hipster jeans and red ballet flats. "Breakfast sounds wonderful!"
She makes her way into the bathroom and runs a brush through her hair before twisting it into thick curls and waves. "Pizza is good too! Especially meat lovers or supreme. Oh my God. To die for!" There's a pause followed by, "Of course, it pairs best with Dr. Pepper." Lip plumper is applied before she gives a sprits of her body spray, plum and cherry blossom, then makes her way out into the hall.
"I'll keep the place on two conditions. One, I get to see your new place in Metro and two, you promise not to stay away from this apartment. I want you here. It would be nice to stay in and catch a movie one night."
"Deal!" comes the shout from Tim's room, moments before the shower kicks on. "Be out in five...okay maybe twenty."
A bright and happy laugh comes from Donna as she moves into the living room. "Diva," is teased over her shoulder as she settles down onto the couch to wait, going over the last week in her head and despite it all, finding herself smiling when all is said in done.
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