Trolly Tales 2/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Trolly Tales 2".
== ==
(The book opens up as Poppy explains about Archer Pastry.)
Poppy: A lot has been going on since we discovered Archer Pastry was a scout… for the Party Crashers. Turns out, he planned to tell his pals to come crash Troll Village… which would be bad. Some people… (coughs) … Branch… wanted to lock up Archer and throw away the key.
Archer: Oh, no! I’m dead!
Poppy: But we decided that if we could turn Archer into our friend…
Archer: Never mind.
Poppy: … he wouldn’t want to betray us. So we tried a long list of bonding activities like… slumber parties. Fishing trips.
Troll #1: Hey!
Poppy: Friendship bracelets. But nothing’s worked… yet. (The camera shifts to the Fun Dungeon.) OK, Archer, I dare you not to enjoy the next item on our bonding list. (She shows an extremely long list. Guy Diamond and Biggie are with her.) “Share stories that show the richness of Troll culture!”
Guy Diamond and Biggie: Yay!
Archer: Wow! That actually sounds amazing…ly bad. Just the words. (He crumbles the list up and throws it away.)
Biggie and Guy Diamond: Aw!
Poppy: Guys, I know he’s rude, but to protect the village, we have to make him our friend. When people connect to a good story, it bonds them together. Now who wants to start? (Biggie gasps and raises his hand. Keith appears in Guy Diamond’s hair.)
Keith: I do!
Guy Diamond: Keith?
Keith: My story is gonna blow Archer away!
Poppy: Uh… Maybe when the fate of the entire village isn’t at stake.
Keith: (Folding his arms) Fine. (He walks over to a soft chair and hides underneath it.)
Poppy: Any other volunteers? Biggie, I think I saw your hand. (Biggie gives Mr. Dinkles to Guy Diamond and takes out a stool.)
Biggie: This is the story about the lengths Trolls go to help a friend in need. It’s called “The Troll-jan Worm.” There once was a warrior named Bigeleus. (We go to the story.) His best friend was said to be the most beautiful creature in all the world.
Poppyseus: Aw!
Biggie: Mr. Dinkules! He had a face that could launch a thousand ships.
Mr. Dinkules: Meep (A spider catches him.)
Biggie: And a bunch of spiders, too, unfortunately.
Spider #1: Worm gyro, anyone? Heh-heh-heh!
Mr. Dinkules: (As the spiders crawl away) Meep! Meep! Meep!
Bigeleus: I vow to get you back, Mr. Dinkules! Be brave! (Poppyseus runs toward him.) AND ALSO, DON’T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR MULTIVITAMIN!
Biggie: And so, Biguleus summoned the fiercest Troll warriors he knew, like Poppyseus, expert with the blade…
Poppyseus: (Using her scissors to slice her name) Yargh! Yeah!
Biggie: … that she mostly used for scrapbooking. (Poppyseus cuts a heart from paper.)
Poppyseus: Ha!
Biggie: And Branchilles, who was invincible…
Branchilles: (Slicing his name in half with his hand) Ha-ha!
Biggie: … except for one tiny flaw. (Branchilles tries to walk, but his heel starts hurting.)
Branchilles: Ow! My heel! (He lies down.) I put too much weight on my Achilles heel!
Biggie: Which honestly, made him pretty useless. (The camera cuts to Mr. Dinkules wrapped in web while the spiders guard him.) And thus, Bigeleus waged war on the spiders, launching the deadliest weapon known to Troll.
Bigeleus: Launch the deadliest weapon known to Troll! (A catapult sends a ball flying into the air. It explodes and confetti falls out.)
Spider #2: Ha-ha! Confetti? Are they serious? (The spiders cackle evilly.)
Bigeleus: Guess we’re pretty bad at this war thing.
Branchilles: Fear not. The nigh invulnerable Branchilles will breach that wall and bring Dinkules home! Ha-ha! (He tries to attack, but his heel hurts again.) Argh! (He lies down again.) Argh! My Achilles heel again! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Bigeleus: OK. Any other ideas?
Coopericles: I’ve got one! I’ll disguise myself as a spider and sneak in. It’s a foolproof plan!
Biggie: It wasn’t. (The camera cuts to Cooper marrying a spider.)
Spider #3: I now pronounce you married.
Biggie: Coopericles immediately fell in love with the enemy.
Coopericles: I do! So the Trolls went back to the drawing board. (Bigeleus and his army do face palms. Soon, they reappear with a large wood machine that shapes like Mr. Dinkles.)
Spider #4: Hey, look! It’s a giant worm!
Spider #5: So, the Trolls are definitely hiding in there. Want to sneak inside and eat them?
Coopericles: (gasps) Oh, I thought you’d never ask. (The spiders charge at the wood machine. Just as they enter it, the Trolls are not in there.)
Spider #6: Huh? Where are they?
Poppyseus: (From outside) Out here! (The door is about to close.)
Coopericles: No, no, no, no, no! (An orange and green female Troll close the door. Bigeleus appears with Mr. Dinkules.)
Bigeleus: Friends! I got him! (The Trolls cheer and hug him.)
Biggie: And so Bigeleus and Mr. Dinkules lived happily ever after.
Bigeleus: Never mess with Mr. Dinkules. (He kicks the wood machine.)
Biggie: They never saw Coopericles again, but they were sure he lived happily ever after, too. (The wood machine falls off a cliff. The spiders’ screaming can be heard.)
Coopericles: TILL DEATH TO US PART!!! (We go back to the Fun Dungeon.)
Biggie: The end. (Poppy claps for him.)
Archer: Incredible. I’ve never heard a story that’s both predictable and hard to follow. Ha! (Biggie groans.)
Poppy: Don’t be discouraged, Biggie. Keep your eye on the prize. We need Archer to bond with us, and if he enjoys one story, we save Troll Village. Guy?
Guy Diamond: That’s my cue! (We start his story.) Once, there lived another ruler, who went by the name King Guydas, and he loved nothing more in the world than glitter. (King Guydas leaves his castle and throws glitter from a basket on a pillar, a yellow male Troll’s robe, and fruit carried by a purple female Troll.) So one day, he made a request from the heavens.
King Guydas: Hey, heavens! How about some more glitter! In fact, how about all the glitter in the world?!
Cloud Guyonysius: Yeah, OK. (He goes to the ground on an elevator made of clouds.) First floor, weird glitter-obsessed dude. (He gets out of the elevator and it leaves.) I’ll grant your wish, if you’re sure that’s what you want?
King Guydas: Of course! Wait, this isn’t one of those “be careful what you wish for” situations, is it?
Cloud Guyonsius: Only one way to find out. (He pokes King Guydas’s nose.)
King Guydas: Can’t argue with that logic. Do it! (He grunts as the heavens snaps his fingers. Nothing happens.) So… where’s my glitter?
Cloud Guyonsius: It’s inside you. It’s always been inside you.
King Guydas: Huh?
Cloud Guyonsius: (snickers) JK! Whatever you touch will turn to glitter now. Give it a test, Mr. Underdressed. (King Guydas touches a purple flower and it turns to glitter.)
King Guydas: (gasps) Glitter! (He goes back to the village.) Here, have some glitter! (He turns a fruit shop and a pillar to glitter.)
Troll #1: Hey, wait!
King Guydas: Glitter for everyone! (He touches Branchilles’s cane and it turns to glitter. His heel starts to hurt.)
Branchilles: Ow! My other Achilles heel! (King Guydas turns some pods into glitter. The residents fall to the ground.)
Trolls #2 and #3: Hey!
Troll #4: Huh?!
Troll #5: Oh, come on! (King Guydas turns more stuff into glitter.)
Guy Diamond: The king had everything he ever wanted, with zero foreseeable drawbacks.
King Guydas: (As glitter floats over him) Ha-ha-ha-ha! (The glitter falls down.) Argh! (He realizes that there is glitter in one of his eyes.) Glitter in my eye! So itchy!
Cloud Guyonsius: Oh, is it? Well, then give it a rub, ticket stub.
King Guydas: No, I can’t!
Clud Guyonsius: Do it.
King Guydas: I must resist!
Cloud Guyonsius: You know you want to scratch it! Scratch it! (whispers) Scratch it. (The glitter goes further into King Guydas’s eye and he shrieks. Tears come out of his eye, causing it to fall out.)
King Guydas: Wait… The glitter came out! (sighs) The itch is gone. Oh, thank goodness. (He gasps and sees that he is getting glitter on his skin.) Oh, darn.
Guy Diamond: And so, the king’s obsession with glitter finally consumed him. (King Guydas turns to glitter.)
Cloud Guyonsius: Mwahahaha! (Thunder crashes.) Huh? (King Guydas reappears naked.)
King Guydas: (Jumping in the air) Wahoo! I’m made of glitter! Glitter forever! No regrets! (He farts glitter on Cloud Guyonsius. He coughs and blows his nose.)
Cloud Guyonsius: I did not see that coming. (We go back to the Fun Dungeon.)
Guy Diamond: And the moral of the story is… glitter is the best!
Archer: Wow. “Entertaining” and “inspirational”… are two word I would never use to describe that story. The two words I would use… (He blows a raspberry.) … and… (He blows another raspberry.) Zing! (laughs)
Guy Diamond: Aw! (He sighs along with Poppy and Biggie.)
Keith: Face it, you guys. (He removes the soft chair from him.) It’s time to unleash the Keith.
Poppy: (sighs) OK. Go ahead, Keith. (Keith imitates an explosion.)
Keith: Once, there lived a kid named Icarus.
Archer: Wait, is this a joke? (laughs) You’re sending out a kid?
Keith: Hey, shut it! It’s story time. Icarus always had the coolest ideas. (We go to the story. Icarus is hammering something.)
Icarus: Finally! (He puts his invention in his bag.) My coolest idea yet! (Wings sprout from his invention.)
Keith: But the Trolls in his village felt threatened by his coolness.
Poppyseus: Hey, you better not be thinking of flying with those wings. You’ll get too close to the sun.
Icarus: (As he gets ready to fly) My ideas are too cool to be contained! (He starts flying.) Yeah! (He flies toward the sun.) Flying rules! (We go back to the Fun Dungeon.)
Archer: (yawns) Oh, yeah. Let me guess. He did fly too close to the sun. The end. Story dumb. Next!
Keith: Wrong! He flew past the sun and jumped into hyperspeed! (Icarus yells as his invention makes him fly much faster into space.)
Archer: Huh. (Keith grunts.)
Poppy: Hm.
Keith: And emerged into enemy territory. (Icarus dodges lasers that are shot by a large spaceship. He sees a little spaceship being shot down. We go inside the larges spaceship where Lord Badguy and his spiders are watching.)
Spider #7: My Lord, a child with really cool ideas has appeared on our scanners.
Lord Badguy: Then in our quest to destroy all cool things, he must die! FIRE! (The ship fires at Icarus.)
Icarus: Ooh! (The ship flies after him.)
Keith: Icarus tried to flee, but lord Badguy’s forces proved to be too strong… (The lasers destroy one of Icarus’s wings and he falls.) … and he crashed into a strange and murky land. (We go back to the Fun Dungeon.)
Archer: Ooh! I did not see that coming. (We go back to the story.)
Keith: Icarus assessed is wounds. (Icarus climbs out of the sand.) Rainbow guts poured out of him. (Icarus vomits a rainbow.)
Archer: Oh, no way!
Keith: He knew he’d have to act fast, so he reached into his… (We cut to later on in the story.) …on returning to his allies’ home base, he received a gift from his mentor. And when he put it on, the mechanical foot fit like a glove. (Icarus puts on a mechanical foot.)
Archer: What?! So cool! (Icarus fights his evil twin.)
Keith: But now, having defeated his own evil twin… twice, Icarus cut a deal with the bounty hunter.
Bounty Hunter: Let’s make a deal!
Keith: And so, Icarus knew he must face Lord Badguy himself. (Icarus soon starts fighting Lord Badguy. He tricks Lord Badguy into hitting a pole and dodges, but ends up being grabbed.)
Lord Badguy: Ha-ha-ha!
Icarus: Aah! (Lord Badguy throws him off the deck. He laughs and sees that Icarus is still holding onto the deck with one of his hands.)
Lord Badguy: Join me, Icarus. Together, we can rid the galaxy of all that is cool.
Icarus: I don’t have to listen to you! You’re not my dad!
Lord Badguy: But, Icarus… I am your dad.
Icarus: (As the camera zooms out of the spaceship) NOOOOOOOOOO!!! (We go back to the Fun Dungeon.)
Keith: To be continued.
Archer: His dad? His dad?!
Biggie: So does that mean he’s the heir to the Twelve Kingdoms?
Guy Diamond: And the hermit he met in the Ice World was his 2nd cousin?
Archer: Is that true?
Keith: Sorry. No spoilers.
Biggie: Oh, wow! I cannot wait for Keith to finish that story.
Archer: He’s got to back to his training, right?
Guy Diamond: Because he hasn’t…
Both: …  the Seventh Skill!
All: Oh, yes!
Poppy: Well, well, well, Archer. Looks to me like you actually enjoyed that story, which means you bonded with us.
Archer: Pfft! No.
Poppy: Hm. OK. In that case, Keith doesn’t have to come back tomorrow to finish. Come on, Keith. (She and her friends start to leave.)
Archer: (stammers) Wait!
Poppy: Yes?
Archer: Tell the kid to come back tomorrow. (sighs) I didn’t hate the story.
Keith: YEEEEAAAAH!
Poppy, Biggie, and Guy Diamond: Keith! Keith! Keith! Keith! Keith! Keith! Keith! (Branch appears.)
Branch: I heard shouting from outside! Is everything OK in here? (He tries to walk, but his heel starts to hurt and he falls.) Aah! My heel! My Achilles heel!
Category:Transcripts
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