Heteromaniac

== Quote(s) ==
"I am going to beat your corpse to death"
"I am going to kill you with (insert random item)"
”Safety is not a guarantee”
"drink and drive and alcohol, uuhhhhh, yeah"
"(insert something (usually random noises)), y'know?"
== Description ==
Heteromaniac is the staple of the family, owner of the house, and the main breadwinner of the group of 6. He works a dangerous but money-generating job as a hitman, and he owns several guns and variations of weapons. All of that set aside, he’s silly and considered to be quite humorous as well as being quite laid-back and straight-forward.
== Appearance ==
He’s basically a generic white guy who wears a Ukrainian fedora and a suit with a red tie.
== Backstory ==
Heteromaniac was born in Uppsala, Sweden, just north of Stockholm. A couple of years after he was born, a terrorist attack happened where he was staying. He and many others fled to various countries before settling in Ukraine, explaining the hat. At the age of 19, he got a job as a hitman to seek out the people that bombed his hometown 16 years ago, and he is still looking for them. One day he got hired to assassinate Hater by Neil which is how he was dragged into the family. He used to be an alcoholic, but he quickly got over it just 6 months later.
== Traits ==
Fighting experience
Would put up a great fight 
Intellect
he’s above genius level, with an iq of 145
== Abilities ==
=== SUPER LASER PISS ===
based off these 2 videos263x263px|left|frameless
261x261px|left|framelessblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
honestly i really don't like mac & cheese that much, I get the craze about it, but it's just not really that good, y'know? i don't care about what your opinions are about this dish, you can't say anything here, fuck you, have a good night. 
i don't know what to put here, but I need something to fill in the gap, otherwise it just looked weird
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish! The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Ber? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Muhammed Ali. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA 
i really need something to put here that is actually worth reading
go check out one of my only independent pages on this wiki: Michael and Bercerus, anyways II'im gonna piss myself hahwhadnsf
== Gallery ==
File:Heteromaniac.png|Real Avatar
File:Hetero grb.png|Hetero assassinating someone with Gerbil watching
File:Combustible lemon.png|Hetero throwing lemons at a goop monster
File:Fire in the hole.png|FIRE IN THE HOLE!!
File:Thrown full.png|Ditto but full image
File:Image 2023-12-25 181720426.png|long heteromaniac
File:Roadtrip.png|Heteromaniac on the family car on a roadtrip (he drives :ryangoslingdrive:)
== Theme ==
frameless|287x287px theme
== Trivia ==
* His name is completely made up but if you dissect it, then it just means "insane straight man"
* Severe Nyquil addict
* His real name is Arvin Ribbontop
Category:Family Members
Category:Has Theme