Transcripts/No Second Prances

:[wheels squeaking]
:[light thud]
:Twilight Sparkle: First lesson of the day, we very carefully set the table without using magic, so that— Yikes!
:[silverware clattering]
:Twilight Sparkle: Did you...?! How? When? What?!
:Starlight Glimmer: What?
:Twilight Sparkle: I said no magic. You were supposed to do it by hoof so I could work in a friendship lesson.
:Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I heard "set the table" and just kinda went for it.
:Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you hadn't used magic, you'd have heard me say, uh... this plate represents your head, this spoon is your heart, and the knives... are sharp! Always be careful with knives. [sigh] The metaphors make more sense when you're actually setting the table.
:Starlight Glimmer: Should I... change it back?
:Twilight Sparkle: I just want to make sure you're ready for this dinner. Princess Celestia will be joining us tomorrow night to see how the friendship lessons are going!
:Starlight Glimmer: If it's just you, me, and Princess Celestia, why are there four seats?
:Twilight Sparkle: Well, the whole point is for you to bring a new friend. That way, the princess will see for herself just how far you've come. And how good a teacher you have.
:Starlight Glimmer: Well, I can't choose. I like all your friends.
:Twilight Sparkle: That's the best part! You have to make a new friend!
:Starlight Glimmer: New friends? Hey, maybe I'll just force friendships by magically enslaving the entire population of Ponyville!
:Twilight Sparkle: Starlight!
:Starlight Glimmer: Kidding! [laughs nervously]
:
:Starlight Glimmer: Let's see. Make new friends in Ponyville, the friendliest place in Equestria. Shouldn't be hard...
:Pinkie Pie: Need to make a new friend, huh? I know just the pony for you!
:Pinkie Pie: Miss Starlight Glimmer, meet Mrs. Cake!
:[small splats]
:Mrs. Cake: How are you, dearie?
:Starlight Glimmer: Are you baking? Can I help?
:[magic whirls]
:Pinkie Pie: Wow, Mrs. Cake! Look what your new friend made you!
:Mrs. Cake: [chuckles] New friend. I like the sound of– [gasps] Howza-wowza! A-Are you trying to put me out of business with your fancy magical-thingy-whatsit cake?!
:[splat]
:Mrs. Cake: [yelps and spits]
:Starlight Glimmer: Sorry...
:Pinkie Pie: [licks, swallows] In her defense, it is delicious! [chomps]
:[thump]
:[apples falling]
:Applejack: I think I have just the pony for you, Starlight. Meet Big Mac!
:Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
:Applejack: He's not much of a talker.
:Big McIntosh: Nnope.
:Starlight Glimmer: Oh, that's too bad. I love a good conversation.
:[magic wisps]
:Big McIntosh: [motormouth] Eeyup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-y-y-y-y-you did something! Whoa! What's happening? I feel really weird! I'm talkin' so much! And I'm so articulate! Enunciating with such precise pronunciation! Annie Apple awoke and accidentally ate an auburn azalea! [screams] Make it stop!
:Applejack: [growls]
:Starlight Glimmer: I can't be friends with somepony who doesn't talk.
:Applejack: [growls]
:Starlight Glimmer: ...And I guess my first instinct shouldn't be to magically command ponies to act the way I want them to?
:Applejack: [growls]
:Starlight Glimmer: Alright, I'll change him back!
:Rarity: The trick to finding a new friend is to render yourself radiant. First impressions count a great deal, you know.
:Starlight Glimmer: I'm glad you all got past my first impression.
:Rarity: Well, everypony deserves a second chance. Ooh! Now, I have a top-notch idea. I'm thinking pastel silk here and here with a crinoline underneath.
:Starlight Glimmer: You really think a new outfit will help me meet ponies?
:Rarity: Oh, with the right outfit, you can do anything, darling!
:Starlight Glimmer: When will it be ready?
:Rarity: Three weeks.
:Starlight Glimmer: Dinner's tomorrow.
:Rarity: Well then, how about a hat from the... [clears throat] ...clearance bin?
:[fabric ripping]
:Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! Maybe not.
:Rainbow Dash: Heh. Nopony's gonna make friends with you because of your outfit. The only thing you want a new friend draped in is coolness.
:Starlight Glimmer: Like you?
:Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but you already know me, so... [gasps] [spitting] Spitfire! Heh. Sorry.
:Starlight Glimmer: Who's that?
:Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Only the Wonderbolt-iest pony in the Wonderbolts! Come on, I'll introduce you!
:[sonic boom]
:Rainbow Dash: You coming or what?
:Starlight Glimmer: I guess my first question would be, "What's a Wonderbolt?"
:Rainbow Dash: [gasps] You've never heard of the Wonderbolts?! Where have you been?!
:Starlight Glimmer: [nervously] Enslaving villages, I guess...
:Rainbow Dash: Right.
:Angel: [giggling]
:Starlight Glimmer: You're adorable, but probably not what Twilight had in mind.
:Fluttershy: [sighs]
:[ponies chattering]
:Starlight Glimmer: [groan] What is going on? This is Ponyville! If I can't make a friend here, there's gotta be something wrong with me! [sighs] Okay, calm down. Nobody makes friends with a total stresscase.
:[more ponies chattering]
:Starlight Glimmer: [to herself] Stop stressing... Stop stressing!
:[long beat]
:[door opens and shuts]
:Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] This is just what I needed.
:Trixie: [sighs] Tell me about it.
:Starlight Glimmer: You ever have one of those days?
:Trixie: For me, they're all one of those days.
:Starlight Glimmer: [giggles]
:Trixie: I'm gonna start coming here every time I visit Ponyville.
:Starlight Glimmer: I'm not from here either. I've been trying to make friends, but it's not easy. They're not saying it, but I think everypony knows about my past. I may have been a tiny bit... completely and utterly evil?
:Trixie: Ponies judge me on my past too.
:Starlight Glimmer: Finally, a pony I can relate to.
:Twilight Sparkle: Soup spoon, salad fork, pasta spoon, strawberry pick. I'm beginning to think that after friendship, the greatest magic of all is proper silverware placement! [giggles]
:Starlight Glimmer: Twilight, guess what? I made a new friend!
:Twilight Sparkle: That's fantastic news!
:Starlight Glimmer: She's great!
:Twilight Sparkle: Great!
:Starlight Glimmer: She's powerful!
:Twilight Sparkle: Powerful?
:Starlight Glimmer: She's—
:Trixie: Hello... princess!
:Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?!
:Starlight Glimmer: You know each other?
:Twilight Sparkle: You could say that.
:Trixie: We've had our differences. What matters is Twilight gave me a second chance, and I appreciate it.
:[pause]
:Twilight Sparkle: So, um, what brings you to Ponyville?
:Trixie: The Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie has come to perform a new stage show of grand illusion! I am calling it "The Humble and Penitent Trixie's Equestrian Apology Tour"!
:Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] That's kind of a mouthful.
:Trixie: [hushed] It's a working title.
:Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? A moment? Over here? [hushed] I know I said make friends with anypony, but, well, with Trixie's past, and your past, I'm not sure she's the best... first friend.
:Starlight Glimmer: But whatever she did, you've forgiven her, right?
:Twilight Sparkle: Of course. It's just... She wasn't the nicest pony.
:Starlight Glimmer: Well, you did say anypony, and I just assumed that you'd trust me to make my own friends the way Princess Celestia trusted you.
:Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] You're right. I trust you. Just be back in time for the dinner.
:Starlight Glimmer: Thanks, Twilight! You won't regret it!
:Twilight Sparkle: I hope not. [sighs]
:Trixie: This magic show's gonna be the greatest thing Ponyville's ever seen!
:Cherry Berry and Goldengrape: [unintelligible whispering] ...did you see...?
:Caramel, Shoeshine, and Sunshower Raindrops: [unintelligible whispering] ...did you hear...?
:Trixie: Everypony always says they'll give you a second chance, but deep down, they never forget.
:Starlight Glimmer: That's what I'm worried about.
:Trixie: [sighs]
:Starlight Glimmer: What is it?
:Trixie: I heard what Twilight said about me, and she's right. I wasn't very nice. So I'd understand if you didn't want to be friends.
:Starlight Glimmer: Are you kidding? You're the first pony I've met who has any idea how I feel!
:Trixie: Can you keep a secret?
:Starlight Glimmer: What are friends for?
:Trixie: [hushed] The things I've done? I did them because I was jealous of Twilight. She's just the best at everything, and I wanted to beat her at something!
:Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] Your secret's safe with me.
:Trixie: Thanks. Want to help me unpack my wagon?
:Trixie: I spend a lot of time on the road with my wagon, so it might be a tad messy.
:Starlight Glimmer: Maybe I can help. I'm pretty good at organizing stuff. Magic props, brainwashed crowds...
:Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [laughing]
:Twilight Sparkle: Pssssssst! Pssst! Psssssst! Shhhhhh!
:Starlight Glimmer: Uh, I'll catch up. I think there's something in my hoof.
:Trixie: Sure. The wagon's right around the corner.
:Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] So, how's it going with your new friend?
:Starlight Glimmer: [sarcastically] Great. Thanks for asking in a completely not creepy way.
:Twilight Sparkle: Because you know, if it isn't working out for any reason, I could introduce you to my friend here.
:[bush rustling]
:Starlight Glimmer: [deadpan] Nice to meet you.
:Twilight Sparkle: No, no! You can come out now!
:[dubstep playing]
:Twilight Sparkle: You like music, right? DJ Pon-3'd be the perfect friend for tonight's incredibly important dinner with Celestia. You know, if you decide to make a last-minute change. Heh.
:Starlight Glimmer: So back at your castle when you said "I trust you", you meant "I don't trust you".
:Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Who can really say who said what? I know I can't! [to DJ Pon-3] Can you?
:[dubstep fades out]
:Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, I'm just trying to look out for you.
:Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I appreciate it, but you're wrong about Trixie. She's just like me. We have a real connection.
:Twilight Sparkle: That's kind of what I'm afraid of. Oh! What about her?
:[thump]
:Starlight Glimmer: Please, Twilight! I know you're trying to help, but I need to make friends on my own if I'm going to become a better pony.
:Twilight Sparkle: But do you really think Trixie's the one to help you with that?
:Starlight Glimmer: Wow. Trixie was right. You're not really giving her a second chance. I wonder what that says about how you feel about me.
:Cranky Doodle Donkey: [snorts]
:[bird flapping]
:Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Now he'd be perfect!
:Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
:[thump]
:[dragging]
:Starlight Glimmer: I was thinking. You said Twilight is better than you at everything, but that's not true. You're better at magic.
:Trixie: Only when I'm wearing a soul-sucking evil amulet, so I don't think that counts. Funny story. Don't need to get into it.
:Starlight Glimmer: I meant stage magic.
:Trixie: Well, of course! Great? Yes. Powerful? Obviously. But I'm not the best. As great and powerful as I am, there's one trick I've never been able to do – the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive!
:[silent film-type piano music and film reel flickering]
:Trixie: [narrating] Only one magician has ever pulled it off – my hero, Hoofdini! You are supposed to blast yourself into the open mouth of a hungry manticore! After the manticore chews you up and swallows you, you magically step out of a box on the other side of the stage!
:[film reel runs out]
:Trixie: Completely unharmed!
:Starlight Glimmer: That sounds very...
:Trixie: Dangerous?
:Starlight Glimmer: I was gonna say cool!
:Trixie: I knew I liked you for a reason. I don't know how he did it! If I tried it, I'd get chewed up and swallowed by that manticore.
:Starlight Glimmer: Not if you could use real magic.
:Trixie: Obviously. Way to rub it in.
:Starlight Glimmer: No, I mean, I could help! You could start the trick, and right before you got chewed up, I could use magic to save you...
:[magic zap]
:Starlight Glimmer: ...and make you appear in the black box!
:Trixie: I guess that would work... But if you made one mistake, I'd be a goner.
:Starlight Glimmer: Hah. When it comes to magic, I don't make mistakes. Maybe I could be your... magic show helper pony!
:Trixie: We call it "assistant" in the magician biz. And... nopony's ever offered to help before.
:Starlight Glimmer: Well, I'd be honored.
:Trixie: You may have just made my great and powerful magic show even better! Which I didn't think was possible! We're gonna blow them away tonight!
:Starlight Glimmer: [groans] I can't! Tonight's this incredibly important dinner with Twilight.
:Trixie: Oh.
:Starlight Glimmer: Can I vent for a minute?
:Trixie: What are friends for?
:Starlight Glimmer: Even after Twilight says she trusts me, she clearly doesn't trust me enough to choose my own friends. [sighs] I guess you were right. No second chances.
:Trixie: Hmph, I wish I could say I was surprised. Well, lucky for Princess Twilight, I have my magic show tonight. If you have to go to the dinner, I completely understand. [dramatically] I just hope I find a way to survive the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive without my new assistant!
:[ice sculpture dripping]
:Twilight Sparkle: Starlight Glimmer should be here, heh, any minute, heh. Any minute now... [nervous laugh] [forced] How about I introduce everyone? Our friendship lessons are going so well! She made three new friends! She has such great taste in friends. I don't know where she would've learned that! [nervous laugh]
:Cranky Doodle Donkey: Starlight Glimmer? I thought you said "nosehair trimmers"! What's going on? I'm hungry! And my nose is too hairy. [snorts]
:Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Ha-ha, Cranky Doodle! You're so funny! If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna check the kitchen. Maybe she got lost amongst the, uh... artichokes! [nervous laugh]
:Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? Has anyone seen Starlight Glimmer? I'm looking for her! Trixie.
:Pinkie Pie: So this is the Humble and Penitent Trixie's Equestrian Apology Tour?
:Applejack: Ain't that a mouthful of molasses.
:Trixie: It's a working title! Oh, this is gonna be the greatest night of my life! Excuse me. Our lives.
:Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I'm so glad we're not at that boring dinner.
:Twilight Sparkle: Ahem? You just decided to skip our dinner without telling me? Are you aware that, at this very moment, Princess Celestia is waiting for you at a table with exquisite silverware placement?!
:Starlight Glimmer: Yes, but—
:Twilight Sparkle: This is exactly why I didn't want you to make friends with Trixie.
:Trixie: A-ha! You still don't trust me! But guess what, princess? It doesn't matter if you want to give me a second chance or not. Starlight had to choose between you and me, and she chose me! Your pupil chose me, so ha! I win!
:Starlight Glimmer: You win? That sounds like you just made friends with me to beat Twilight.
:Trixie: Exactly! [beat] Wait! I mean, no! I got caught up in the moment. I like you. Beating Twilight is just a bonus. [gasps] Saying that didn't help, did it?
:Starlight Glimmer: I should've known. Nopony else in Ponyville wanted to be my friend. Why would you? [controlled sobbing]
:Trixie: Wait, it's not like that! I am your friend. [groans]
:Twilight Sparkle: Well, you won. I hope you're happy!
:Trixie: [sighs] Looks like the Great and Powerful Trixie is back to a solo show.
:Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?
:Trixie: ...Which is exactly the way she likes it! Thank you, Princess Twilight, for getting rid of that annoying pony who wanted to be my first friend! I am not sad at all! I definitely don't feel as if my heart is breaking into a million pieces!
:[spotlight clanks]
:Trixie: [unenthusiastic] Come one, come all. Come and see the Pathetic and Friendless Trixie's "Way-To-Go-Dum-Dum-You-Really-Messed-It-Up-This-Time Repentance Tour".
:[crowd confused]
:Trixie: It's a working title! [unenthusiastic] Behold, your fears come true. A pony-eating manticore.
:[manticore roars]
:Fluttershy: [trembling]
:Trixie: [unenthusiastic] For tonight, the Great and Powerful Trixie will be performing the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive.
:[crowd gasps]
:Trixie: [unenthusiastic] Now, now, save your gasps for when I defy the beast's jaws of doom and appear inside that black box. [dramatically] I was supposed to perform this trick with my great and powerful assistant, who was also my great and powerful friend!
:Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, when I first came to Ponyville, Princess Celestia gave me room to make my own decisions and my own friends. I need to give you the same freedom. I shouldn't have tried to pick and choose your friends for you. Just like me, you have to make your own decisions and your own friends.
:Starlight Glimmer: But... what if Trixie really was using me just to one-up you?
:Twilight Sparkle: From what I've seen, she's the real thing.
:[fuse lights]
:Twilight Sparkle: But it's not my place to judge. It's all up to you.
:[manticore roars]
:[fuse hisses]
:Trixie: Starlight? If you're out there and you still want to be friends, let's be great and powerful together! [slightly echoing] Please?
:[cannon fires]
:[manticore roars]
:Trixie: [shrieks]
:[manticore swallows and belches]
:[crowd gasps]
:Fluttershy: [faints]
:[crowd confused]
:[magic zap]
:[crunch]
:Trixie: [woozy] Behold, the Peat and Growerful Triskie...!
:[thud]
:[beat]
:[crowd cheers]
:Trixie: [amplified] And now, I'm proud to introduce my great and powerful assistant! [normal] And best friend. [amplified] Starlight Glimmer!
:[crowd cheers]
:Twilight Sparkle: Trixie!
:Trixie: What do you want?
:Twilight Sparkle: I was wrong. I'm sorry. And I have to hand it to you. I could never have pulled off a trick like that.
:Trixie: Thank you, princess.
:[fireworks launch]
:[ice sculpture dripping]
:Cranky Doodle Donkey: How do you get your hair to do that all the time?
:Princess Celestia: [sighs]
:[silent film-type piano music over credits]