Bending It Like Becker Since 1985

==Publishers Summary==
==Script==
: Clerk
: [Send nachos] Oh, I see we're going with a selection from the Dream Theater catalog.
: Customer
: [Stop live albums now] Yeah, they rule, man.
: Clerk
: [Six degrees of inner stupidity] There's no denying their talent, [Unless you're in denial] but don't you get a bit sick of their uncanny ability to use every note known to man [Save some for later] in every song they ever write? After a while, it all just melts together into one giant 80-minute song about [Scenes from a moron] soaring eagles and reincarnation.
: Customer
: Yeah, I guess. [Guess again] But all the notes are very good.
: Clerk
: [Except "A" minor] Absolutely. That's why I recommend that you [Buy more stuff] purchase a Jason Becker CD.
Pulls out Cacophony's "Go Off!" CD.
: Some of the best guitar work in the world of shred resides right here [Mad props to J.B.] on this album.
: Customer
: Hmm, well, this album is from 1989.
: Clerk
: [1988 Jackass!] So?
: Customer
: Well, when's he coming out with a new record?
: Clerk
: [Knowledge makes this funnier] Uh...uh...oh, yeah. Hold on, let me check. [Dial 555-PAIN]
Clerk throws phone into Customer's face
: Now you get nothing. [Bitch ass m.f.] [Cut to end card]
: Customer
: Now I know the true meaning of shred!
==External Links==
*Illwillpress website