Encaged Paige

"Encaged Paige" is the third episode of the second season of Thursday Spin-Off, and the 15th episode overall. It was written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway and first aired on March 14, 2024.
==Plot==
Paige plans to orchestrate their boss' downfall through any means necessary.
==Script==
[The episode starts at a prison basketball court, wherein several men are skillfully playing, alongside CrazySponge who remains in a suit while playing and trips over his own dribbling.]
Basketball Player / Prisoner: Come on, man… 
[We pan to a nearby vent, an entrance to the sewers, where Paige, CrazySponge’s overworked and underpaid employee, is staying. They mumble to themselves.]
Paige: Bitch thinks he’s doing good PR showing up to a basketball court and dunkin’ with these prisoners.. I’ll show him good PR.
[Paige opens the vent as CrazySponge fumbles the ball, which stumbles nearby Paige. ’s “” starts to play in the background and Paige takes the ball and replaces it with their own ball, that they have implanted a bomb inside. They place that one back on the court, closes the vent and scurries whilst CrazySponge and the criminals play as if nothing had changed. Soon enough, as we cut through shots of the guys dunking on CrazySponge, the ball is finally back in his hands. Paige appears from another vent with a lighter, and subtly ignites a fuse tied to the ball-bomb that Aidan doesn’t notice. We cut to Paige’s perspective, obfuscated by the bars on the vent and barely showing the game. To make things even worse, a white mouse is seen running over their vent. They grumble.]
Paige: I hate that stupid mouse.
[CrazySponge passes the ball to one of the players, who actually tries to go for a slam dunk but as expected, it explodes in their face, sending the remains of their face straight onto CrazySponge, who slurps them like spaghetti.]
CrazySponge: It’s better at the .
[The music stops and we fade to CrazySponge snoozing in his bed at the Box Productions headquarters, more accurately described as his mansion. His red glasses lay on his bedside table alongside a half-finished glass of water. His snoring is unnecessarily loud and effeminate. Little does he know that Paige is planning something in the cage he keeps them in at the other side of his bed.]
Paige: Yup… keep very quiet. Daddy needs his rest… his beauty sleep…
[Paige appears like a hunchbacked goblin, wearing rags of what used to be SquiddyTV merchandise. They are locked in a wooden cage although the bars are, ironically, much thinner than the vents so they can slip out by staying malnutritioned (CrazySponge ensures this). In Paige’s ghastly grey hands is a rope that they start to connect to a pulley system. As CrazySponge lies asleep, Paige creeps out of the cage and attaches an anchor-esque lift to CrazySponge’s bed. Visibly struggling to do so, they work a sweat trying to attach the lift and nearly wake up CrazySponge, who flops to the other side of the bed and murmurs to himself.]
CrazySponge: [having a dream] Oh, Bianca, it’ll be okay. 
[Paige looks at the audience and knowingly raises their eyebrow, before finally getting the lift attached to the bed. They then slowly but gleefully run their hands through the rope, pulling it as hard as they can and making minimal movement for the bed, that just barely drags out of its spot. Paige backs into the hallway wherein the rope is connected to a wheel on the ceiling. Paige takes one last jolt of strength to carry the rope closer to the hallway before their section unravels into the wheel and comes out on the other side. This awkward pulley contraption can finally be put to good use. So naturally Paige pulls their new side of the rope exhaustedly and the bed finally moves substantially. Not knowing their own strength, they pull the rope and smash CrazySponge’s bed - CrazySponge included - into the wheel in the hallway, demolishing the pulley system but due to the slippery, wet floors of the HQ, still sliding down. Paige scurries out of the way.]
Paige: Whoa!
[After returning to safety, Yeat’s “Breathe” starts to play again. The bed, with CrazySponge still snoozing in it, slips down the hallway as Paige runs to follow it. It smashes through metal doors and somehow continues to slide in the air despite a staircase being there… only temporarily. After a few seconds in the air, the bed turns to the camera, grows a mouth, and realises its mistake.]
Bed: 
[The bed swiftly plunges to the ground and bounces down the staircase, colliding with a glass window and finding itself in a dark room Paige carefully steps into, cutting their hands on the glass in the process. The music stops.]
Paige: [whispering] Shit. 
[Paige realises what room they are in and laughs to themselves.]
Paige: Oh, Paige, you could do the funniest thing right now.
[The bed is still bouncing, now towards Paige, who lightly kicks it in the opposite direction. The bed eventually flings a nude CrazySponge off of it, landing over a wooden fence that exists in a large, cavernous room at the bottom of the Box Productions HQ. CrazySponge lands head first - both heads - onto a tall creature that we see from Paige’s perspective. They scramble through their pockets for a torch and shine a light on the creature. CrazySponge is butt-naked on the neck of his beloved pink giraffe mascot, John.]
Paige: Delightfully devilish, Paige.
[Murmuring can be heard.]
CrazySponge: [still in a dream] Oh, Bianca… you’re so slippery…
[We cut to Paige’s reaction for the rest of the shot as they stand with their mouth agape, eyes widened.]
CrazySponge: [offscreen] Oh, baby… 
John.: 
CrazySponge: [offscreen] Oh, moan for me even more, babe… You know I love the sound of you…
Paige: Nope. Nope nope nope. Nope. Nope. Where’s that rope?
[Cut to sunrise. A bewildered CrazySponge, still nude, walks over to the fence John. is encaged in and opens it, zipping out of the enclosure. A knock is heard on the door.]
CrazySponge: Oh, must be my monthly government loan of gold bars.
[CrazySponge quickly puts some tattered blue jeans on and answers the door. A doctor with a Brooklyn accent answers the door, holding something in a towel.]
Brooklyn guy: Hey, here’s your babies, sir. That’ll be $3.
CrazySponge: I didn’t order any babies… this week.
[CrazySponge hands the guy $10 from the pocket of his jeans anyway.]
Brooklyn guy: No, but you done made some! Cya, kid.
[The guy hands him the toweled gift and leaves promptly. CrazySponge peeks into the towel and gasps, before gazing back at John.]
John.: 
[He gazes back at the towel, realising the events of last night. He takes a deep sigh. His secretary appears from the door on the other side of the room.]
Liz: You alright, sir? Need a shirt?
Yeat: [offscreen, rapping] Nah, fuck that bitch, I need to feel it…
[“Feel it” echoes as the episodes cuts to black.]
Category:Thursday Spin-Off
Category:Episodes written by JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:2024 Episodes
Category:CrazySponge
Category:Dark Comedy
Category:Smut
Category:Sports
Category:Userfic