Breakneck

I dash out of my cottage as fast as my legs can carry me, holding my medical bag in one hand. "Egad!" I shout. "There's a medical emergency in the next village over! A young man's broken his neck. I have to get there before-"
I freeze. My carriage is out front, but my horses are missing. 
"Lord have mercy!" I shout. "They must have gotten loose during the blizzard last night!"
I'm so angry I could kick rocks. Now how am I going to get to where I'm needed?!
Suddenly, my prayers are answered. A man crawls out of the woods nearby on all fours. He's naked from head to toe. 
"Don't worry, kind sir," he reassures me as he puts his mouth around my carriage's bit. "I'll pull your carriage for you!"
I blink at him, at a loss for words. "What the devil-"
"Just get in the damned carriage, man!" he screams at me suddenly. "I've waited my whole miserable life for this!"
I have no idea what's going on, but I suppose I'll just have to go along with it. I jump on top of the carriage and crack the reins. "Hiya! Hiya!" I goad the man.
He starts running on all fours as fast as his arms and legs can carry him. We speed forward in a blur. It's like we're about to break the sound barrier. I must admit, this is going better than I thought it would. Plus, there's something oddly exciting about treating this man like a horse. I blush, embarrassed.
But right then, everything stops. Our breakneck pace slows to a halt.
Because up ahead, blocking the road, is a highwayman.
The guy's wearing a bandana over his mouth and nose. He has a flintlock in one hand and a long dirk in the other. 
"So, what'll it be, peasants?" the highwayman asks us in a menacing baritone. He aims his flintlock at us. "Your money, or your life?" He makes a cutting motion across his throat with the point of his dirk. "Because to be fair, I'd be happy to take both."
I'm having a panic attack. This guy is armed to the teeth and we're completely defenseless. It looks like we'll both die on this lonely road.
But right then, my trusty steed does something I wasn't expecting.
He crawls a little closer to the highwayman, surprising him. "Excuse me, sir," my steed says. "You've got something on your forehead."
The highwayman looks mortified. He reaches up to wipe his brow. "Aw, damn, sorry," he apologizes. "Is it gone? Where- where is it?"
"Right there, rogue!" my steed screams.
In a blink-and-you'll-miss-it lunge, my steed tackles the highwayman to the ground and sinks his teeth into his throat. My steed pulls sharply, tearing out the highwayman's windpipe. He's dead on the spot. Blood is pouring onto the road and my steed. The man doesn't even seem to notice. He takes another big bite out of the bandit and bolts it down raw.
My panic is getting worse. I hop off my carriage and run into the woods as fast as my legs can carry me. My trusty steed looks up from his fresh kill. "Hey! Where're you going?!" he asks nonchalantly. "Come back! We have people to save!"
He long-jumps over the dead highwayman and lopes after me. I look over my shoulder at him, unable to contain my terror. 
"Leave me alone, you bloodthirsty wretch!" I scream at him. "Leave me alone, I say! I don't want to be eaten!"
But I've made a fatal mistake. There's a ravine up ahead.
By the time I turn around, it's too late to stop. I lose my footing and tumble head over heels down the steep gorge. I finally come to a stop with a sharp crack. I can't feel my arms or legs. It takes me a second to realize I've broken my neck.
"Oh, God..." I start moaning. Then I start screaming. It takes me a moment to realize that my trusty steed is nimbly climbing down the ravine towards me. I look at him with what little strength I have left.
"Aw, geez," my trusty steed laments. "Looks like you took quite the fall, buddy. I guess there's no coming back from this for you. Well... no use wasting good meat, right? You understand."
He bends down and starts dragging me away with his teeth. Soon I'll be in his lair and he'll be eating me. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare. But I'm starting to worry that this is reality.
Category:Weird
Category:MalumLibrum958