Golden Ones

The Golden Ones were Gandalf's attempt to breed the perfect race for his carnal pleasure. They look like Xerxes from the movie 300, coated in oil and jewelry and always having small flaccid penises, while being nude at all times of course.
When Gandalf first met the Hobbits many centuries ago his balls ached in ways they never had before. He found their natural submissiveness and small child-like yet totally legal frames to be the ultimate in sin, so he set out to perfect them further. Underneath the Misty Mountains he toiled, century after century, granting them golden skin and smaller and smaller penises. But the true prize would eventually be found in their ass cheeks. So soft supple and giant they became that they resembled golden mudflap pancakes coming out of the form of a Hobbit. Gandalf came instantly when he first noticed this marvel and took them to his room to fulfill their purpose of being his slampigs. But when he attempted to thrust into one he died as soon as his penis had made contact. Upon his reincarnation into Gandalf the White, he realized he could not bang them, as not only were they too pure for this world to ever be banged but they had also been imbued with his life essence. He could never die and his fate was now forever tied to his Golden Ones.
Category:Minor Characters
Category:Species