Shafted!

Shafted! is the ninth episode of the first season of The Whatever Show.
==Transcript==
(The episode begins at Bingo! HQ, where a bunch of seals are playing around in the executive office)
Seal 1: I’m having the time of my liiiiife! (bounces a beach ball on his head)
Seal 2: You’re telling me! (eats a cupcake) They actually have the good food here!
EDP: bro wtf you're having fun without me
Seal executive: Guys, guys! Hold it. We have an important decision to make here.
(The seals all stop playing)
Seal executive: Thank you. Now then… we must make a decision on whether to keep The Whatever Show on the air or not.
Seal 3: The Whatever Show? My thoughts are… whatever.
Seal 2: Yeah, who cares about The Whatever Show? Liz just got it from Ally for… I forget what reason.
Seal 4: Well for whatever reason, I think we can all agree that ten episodes is plenty for a show like this.
(The other seals nod in agreement)
Seal executive: So, everyone is in agreement to shaft The Whatever Show after season 1?
(All seals once again nod in agreement)
Seal executive: Well then. (bangs gavel) It’s settled. The Whatever Show is moving to Nicktoons!
Seal 1: We don’t have a Nicktoons, sir.
Seal executive: Oh right. The Whatever Show is moving to Bingo 2!
(The seals bark and clap as the scene fades to Patrick waking up from his morning nap)
Patrick: Wowee, that was sure a nap. A perfectly normal nap.
(Silence)
Patrick: Absolutely nothing can go wrong!
SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick!
(The rock slowly opens up and SpongeBob hops in)
SpongeBob: Patrick, The Whatever Show has been… (close-up of his mouth) Shafted.
Patrick: SHAFTED?! What does that mean?
SpongeBob: It’s a term used for when a network doesn’t care for their show anymore so they put it on a different channel for the rest of the episodes to air.
Patrick: Uhh, I think I get it. So is Whatever’s Show canceled?
SpongeBob: It is! They just don’t want to announce it, those pussies.
Patrick: Stupid pussycats!
SpongeBob: This show we’re in… will be gone forever!
Patrick: Oh no! What should we do, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: I say we send them a very strongly worded letter.
(SpongeBob pushes out a pen and paper from his holes)
SpongeBob: You have no idea how long this has been in my body.
Patrick: Oh.
(SpongeBob begins writing)
SpongeBob: Dear executives at Bingo Co…
(One letter later…)
SpongeBob: And it's on its way.
Norton: (driving a mail truck) Doo doo doo doo, delivering mail per usual…
(He grabs into a stash of envelopes and notices an orange letter)
Norton: “To Bingo Co.”. Huh, interesting. Isn't that the company that girl works for? (shrugs) Oh well, not my problem.
(Two to three business days later…)
Patrick: Did you get a response from them yet?
SpongeBob: Not yet…
(A Bingo Co. blimp falls from the sky and hits Patrick in the head)
Patrick: Ouch! HEY, WATCH IT YOU LITTLE-
SpongeBob: Patrick calm down, I think it’s come to give us a response.
(SpongeBob grabs the paper sticking out of the blimp and starts reading it)
SpongeBob: “Dear SpongeBob SquarePants: Fuck you, The Whatever Show is cancelled, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Well that’s not very nice, is it?
Patrick: I DEMAND RESTITUTION!
SpongeBob: Patrick, what does that even mean?
Patrick: (shrugs) I just heard it on TV once. Anyways, my idea is to STORM THEIR HEADQUARTERS AND GIVE THEM WHAT FOR!
SpongeBob: Well good luck with that, I’m not coming with you to help you on your raid on the capitol.
Patrick: I’m not raiding the capitol, SpongeBob, I’m raiding this stupid TV station’s headquarters! STOP THE STEAL!
SpongeBob: You’re starting to sound a lot like Larry Lobster.
Larry: YEAH, GO TRUMP! (flexes his muscles) YOU SHOW ‘EM PATRICK!
SpongeBob: I’ll have you know I don’t support Republicans like you. I myself am a member of the Green Party.
Patrick: Jeez, SpongeBob, no need to get political. STOP THE STEAL!
Larry: YEAH! LET’S GO!
(Patrick and Larry bang on their chests and run towards the headquarters, leaving SpongeBob to scratch his head in confusion)
(Bubble transition to Bingo Co headquarters, where Patrick and Larry are running and screaming like madmen towards the entrance)
Larry: So, is this the capitol you’re talking about?
Patrick: Yup.
Larry: Is it a liberal TV station?
Patrick: Uhh… sure.
Larry: GREAT! LET’S STOP THIS STEAL ONCE AND FOR ALL!
(Larry bashes his head into the double doors, sounding an alarm)
Patrick: Uh oh.
Larry: STEAL STOPPING STOPS FOR NOTHING, PATRICK! (he grabs Patrick by the arm) LET’S GO!
Patrick: I don’t like where this is going…
Security guard: Bro what is GOING ON?
Patrick: THIS WASN’T MY IDEA!
Security guard: I don’t care whose idea this was, you’re both going to jail, bitches!
Patrick: But we’re not-
Security guard: I SAID I DON’T CARE!
(Larry strangles the security guard to death)
Patrick: Larry WHAT THE FUCK?
Larry: Come on Patrick, let’s go. His corpse will be fucked sooner or later.
Patrick: Eugh, okay…
(Larry and Patrick rush to the elevator, where there is a woman executive in it)
Larry: OH SHIT, A WOMAN! You know what we must do, Patrick!
Patrick: Tell her she’s beautiful?
Larry: No! That’s what a PUSSY would do! Watch!
(Larry gropes the woman from behind, making her scream)
Patrick: OH MY GOD! SEXUAL HARASSMENT!
Larry: Just another Tuesday, Patrick.
Patrick: This is Jimmy Saville level scumbaggery, Larry! I don’t approve of this at all!
Larry: Well you just don’t know what it’s like to be a REAL MAN LIKE ME! It’s how I get all the ladies!
Patrick: Let’s… let’s just go…
Woman executive: I am dialing 9-1-1 immediately.
(She grabs her phone and dials 911)
Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what’s your emergency!
Larry: THERE IS NO EMERGENCY! KILL YOURSELVES!
Dispatcher: Well that’s not very nice. Help is on the way.
Larry: SHIT!
Patrick: Fuck this shit I’m out.
(Patrick opens up a window and nosedives to the ground, giving himself a concussion)
Perch Perkins: This just in, a sea star and a giant red lobster have attempted a raid on the famous Bingo Co. building! 
Incidental 308: Jesus man, this is insane!
Incidental 311: Yeah, I mean have you seen the capitol lately?
Incidental 308: Do we even have a capitol?
Mr. Krabs: I make capital, agagagagagag!
Incidental 311: Oh please, you probably don’t even have a soul.
Mr. Krabs: I might not have a soul, but at least me parents gave me a real name! Agagagagagagag!
Scooter: Bummer, dudes… take the L, man.
(Cut back to Larry, who is now being detained by police)
Larry: I SWEAR, I- okay I got nothing.
Police: Yeah yeah, tell it to the judge, red guy.
Larry: IS THIS DISCRIMINATION AGAINST REPUBLICANS? THIS WILL NOT STAND! I DEMAND-
(Larry gets tasered as the episode fades to black)
(Title card: THE END IS NEAR…)
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