Mandy

Date/Timing: 16 May 2009
Setting: Hermann's hotel room; Manchester, England, United Kingdom
.
Once Edan's safely horizontal and asleep, Hermann has an awfully terrible idea.
He eases his suitcase from the closet, dumps it, and quietly lets himself out of the room.
He hurries through the night to the construction site two streets over and scans—
/There!
A pile of accessible concrete blocks.
Quick check for CCTV cameras ... he grins.
In a matter of minutes, Hermann returns through the night with a significantly heavier suitcase and a nearly irresistible urge to whistle.
So whistle he does.
.
Edan yawns, then rolls—"Morning, Hermann—Owwwwww."—away.
Hermann snickers.
"Wha ...?" Edan pales. "Oh god what did I do last night?"
"You don't remember?"
"'s why I'm asking?"
Hermann closes his book with a definitive /fump. "You said I hurt its feelings and insisted we have a threesome to soothe the insult."
"Oh thank /God."
Hermann blinks.
"Thought I adopted it or something."
"A threesome with a block of cement is better than adopting it."
"Is /that what that is?" Edan squints. "Huh. Thought it was a hamster cage."
"How does /that help?"
"I tend to adopt anything fluffy in the area when I'm drunk."
"Explains why you were such a cuddler, then."
"Can we keep her anyway?"
"A block of concrete?"
"Her name's Mandy and she's the most beautiful piece of pavement ever."
Hermann shakes his head.
"Pretty pleaaase?"
"We'll make furniture out of her."
"Perfect!" Rolls to face 'Mandy', kisses her. "Didye hear that, sweetie? We're bringing you home!"
Hermann sighs, opens his book to his last page. "We've just become every conservative politician's worst nightmare."
"Huh?"
"We're two men in a polyamourous relationship with an inanimate object."
Edan ponders. "'s'it make better or worse I'm an atheist, your family's Jewish, and Mandy's an animist?"
"Dear God, you are completely /bonkers when you're hungover."
"Who says 'm hungover?"
Hermann flips on the light.
Edan hisses, yanks a pillow over his head.
"You're hungover."
""'m hungover.""
Category:Ficlet
Category:Manchester (setting)
Category:Hermann
Category:Hermann's POV
Category:Hermann (ficlet)
Category:Edan
Category:Edan (ficlet)
Category:Mandy
Category:Mandy (ficlet)
Category:Ficlets with images