Bard

Bard is a Unique Recruit that can be found in a Bar of Bad Teeth, Blister Hill, Stack, any of the Waystations, or World's End. He costs 3,000 Cats to hire. Bard has a Traitorous Personality. 
He has many lines of unique dialogue in the form of songs and stories. Most other player characters will complain against his constant noise. 
 
==Songs==
If the player recruits Bard to their squad, Bard will periodically sing various songs at random. Below are some of the song lyrics Bard has been known to sing. *Note that none of the songs Bard sings are given titles in the game, so any titles we have listed below are nicknames for the songs. 
===The Ballad of Harmothoe*===
"Harmothoe, Harmothoe, she lived a life of anguish! For chained in Rebirth she was condemned to languish... 'Til one day she'd been ravished by the high paladin most vile! And she swore her dark vengeance with a murderous smile... She stashed a long nail, forged to a blade... And one by one the guards were slayed. Now the high paladin lies dead, a nail in the eyeball... With it the name Harmothoe, in blood on the high wall!"
====Audience reception====
"...Don't go giving me ideas about your eyeballs, bard... ""*Clap clap*""Encore, encore! More eyeball stabbing!"
=== Tinfist the Righteous* ===
"Oh! There once was a noble, handsome and bearded... Who took a liking to shooting a spear did! The noble laughed with glee as his slaves did plee... And he killed a hundred while laughter thundered! But along came Tinfist and the laughs rang quiet... The noble pissed his pants and the slaves had a riot! Just a swift blow with the fist and he fell to the floor... And the bearded noble was handsome no more!
==== Audience reception ====
None.
=== A Fly Went Up My Nose* ===
"Ahem, *hack*""I'm warning you, no songs!""Song? Why, a fly flew up my nose, that's all! But I can sing a song, that's for sure..." "A fly went up my nose! And... something about crows!"
==== Audience Reception ====
"*Thud*""Ow! No throwing rocks..." - Bard
ru:Бард
Category:Characters
Category:Unique
Category:Playable