Charlie Brown vs Doug Funnie/Rap Meanings

=== Doug Funnie: ===
It's the great Race Canyon, Charlie Brown!
(Doug starts out his verse in the same way many titles for Peanuts specials are structured by having Charlie Brown's name at the end. One of the most famous specials of the series is It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, and Doug references this by replacing the Great Pumpkin with him as an alter ego from his fantasies, Race Canyon, who is a parody of Indiana Jones.)
Bringing pain like a sprain from a charley horse to put you down!
(Doug says he'll leave Charlie Brown hurt similarly to getting a charley horse, or a cramp from leg muscles. When a horse's leg becomes hurt and cannot be recovered, it will often be put down as it will be unable to walk normally, so Doug says he will do this to Charlie Brown in the battle.)
I'll give you something new to mope around about so you won't keep your chin up.
(Charlie Brown is known to complain about his problems, and Doug says beating him will give him another problem to moan about. Despite the many obstacles he faces, Charlie Brown will always be determined to find a solution or keep going at it, but Doug says his loss will cause him to become discouraged to fight him.)
You got determination? I got imagination to make you give up!
(No matter what happens, Charlie Brown has determination to solve his problems. However, Doug says his imagination is stronger and able to make Charlie Brown quit. In his show, Doug often fantasizes about his everyday situations to get through his own problems.)
Considering how everyone insults you to no end,
(Charlie Brown is teased by most of the kids in his neighborhood on a daily basis.)
Do I even need to diss you? You already get it from your friends!
(Doug finds it meaningless to diss Charlie Brown due to the fact that his friends do it often.)
Just the slightest remark and you take offense and get depressed,
(Charlie Brown would sometimes get upset from something he thought was an insult, even if it wasn't meant to be, and overreact to it.)
But I guess that's fine since your success comes from you being the farthest from the best!
(Peanuts fans sympathize with Charlie Brown because of his low self-esteem and failure in his goals. Although this makes him a popular character, Doug says this is only out of pity, and he thinks making fun of him is fine as his popularity comes from it.)
I got a new pair of shoes I'll use to kick your butt as you're losing,
(Doug Got a New Pair of Shoes is the title of the book that Doug creator Jim Jinkins wrote to start his career. Although there were no publishers that would take it, the character would later be sold to Nickelodeon for an animated pilot episode, which became the first cartoon on the channel. Here, Doug references the book and says he will use his new pair of shoes to beat Charlie Brown.)
Taking the win away from you like it's a football held by Lucy!
(The football gag is arguably the most famous gag from Peanuts; it involves Charlie Brown running to kick a football being held by Lucy van Pelt, and she takes it away from him just as he is about to kick it, causing him to fall on his back. Charlie Brown has never been seen doing this feat canonically, so Doug says he would take Charlie Brown's chance of winning like Lucy does with the football.)
Try to be fly and you'll be crunched by the Kite-Eating Tree.
(The Kite-Eating Tree is a tree in the Peanuts comics. One of Charlie Brown's goals is to get his kite flying, but it would get tangled up in the tree. Being fly means being cool, so Doug says that if Charlie Brown tries being cool, he'll be brought down by the Kite-Eating Tree like he is when he tries flying a kite. He also makes a pun that Charlie Brown trying to be fly would make him eaten by the tree since kites fly in the air.)
You're better off warming the bench for your team in the Peanuts gallery.
(Charlie Brown plays on a baseball team with his friends as the pitcher, but they have never won a game. Because of this, Doug thinks it's better if he warms the bench for them, which means to sit out during the game for being the weakest player. The peanut gallery is where the cheaper seats of a theater is located, so Doug jokes about Charlie Brown being poor while making a pun with his series name, Peanuts.)
=== Charlie Brown: ===
This is the second time Doug gets busted, but now it's by Chuck Brown.
("Doug Gets Busted" is the name of a Doug episode, so Charlie Brown says he will bust Doug for a second time. "Chuck" is a nickname for Charlie that was given to him by his friend Peppermint Patty.)
Throwing hard raps like I got a rock, the Great Pumpkin's thumping a Cub Scout.
("I got a rock" is a quote that Charlie Brown says in It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brownafter trick-or-treating. He says this after receiving a rock instead of candy when they visit a house. Doug was a member of the Bluff Scouts, a spoof of the Boy Scouts of America. Cub Scouts are children who learn to become a member of the Boy Scouts, so Charlie Brown calls Doug a junior scout.)
It's the bottom of the ninth; with one pitch, I'll rub this scrub out.
(In baseball, the bottom of the ninth refers to the end of a game in which a comeback can be made. Here, Charlie Brown says this to show he can retaliate against Doug and cause him to lose as he throws, or pitches, his raps.)
Doug's stuck in the dugout. He steps to the plate, but he's already struck out.
(Dugouts are where the team is benched while the other players go up to bat. Charlie Brown says Doug is stuck here, and if he goes up to bat on the plate, it won't matter since he got his three strikes.)
I'm a sports guy. I'll take this chump to the ground for a touchdown.
(Charlie Brown is known to play a lot of sports with his friends, so he says he is fit for his age and able to take down Doug, who is older than him. In football, a touchdown occurs when the ball is taken to the other side of the field, and tackling the holder would cause them to lose the ball. Charlie Brown uses these terms to demonstrate he'll win while Doug is left on the ground.)
Snoopy could tell a more exciting story when he's flopped on top of his mutt house.
(Snoopy is Charlie Brown's dog who only communicates through thoughts in the comics or movements and actions in the television and film series. He also uses a typewriter for writing stories as the "World Famous Author" and is seen doing so while sitting on top of his dog house. Another meaning to this line can be about Snoopy's fantasy battles with the Red Baron, in which he gets on top of his doghouse and pretends it is a fighter jet to act as the World War I Flying Ace. Charlie Brown thinks that despite not being able to speak, Snoopy can write or tell a story better than Doug's lyrics.)
You got turned into a bucks cow after you joined the mouse's clubhouse.
(Doug was bought by Disney from Nickelodeon in 1996, and fans noticed a decline in quality after it was distributed by Disney. A cash cow is a product that makes a lot of money, and Charlie Brown calls this to Doug for being only used as intellectual property, replacing "cash" with "bucks". Mickey Mouse is Disney's mascot, so Charlie Brown says he is the one who took Doug from Nick to join his clubhouse, a reference to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.)
Call me Disney when I come to a bout 'cause you're about to get shut down.
(As mentioned previously, Disney had acquired the rights to Doug, leading to a run that lasted just as long as its Nickelodeon counterpart, yet was considered to be an inferior program. Charlie Brown says he will end Doug just as badly as when Disney produced his show.)
I come Woodstock'd with rhymes to drop after I toss Porkchop like the pigskin.
(Woodstock is a small, yellow bird from Peanuts who would often accompany Snoopy. Charlie Brown uses his name for wordplay to say that he is packed with rhymes to use against Doug. Porkchop is Doug's dog, so Charlie Brown adds that he could toss him like he was a football, which is nicknamed "pigskin". Pork chops and pig skins are also types of food that can be made using pig parts.)
The big screen hit dreams big but still doesn't believe in this dimwit's win.
(The Peanuts Movie was released in theaters worldwide, boosting the popularity of the franchise. The slogan for the film was "Dream Big", but Charlie Brown says this wouldn't apply to Doug's hopes of winning.)
The only thing Funnie about this dummy is how he's fumbling clumsy raps.
(Funnie is Doug's last name, and Charlie Brown says the only thing laughable about him is his raps. In sports, mainly football, to fumble means to lose control of the ball and cause it to fall from your hands, so he also calls Doug an accident-prone idiot, which is why he cannot land a good rap.)
Feature films kept me on the map while your first movie was your last.
(Peanuts movies made Charlie Brown continued to be known by many people, whereas Doug had only one film titled Doug's 1st Movie, which did not receive a sequel because of the negative critical reaction. To be kept on the map means to be well-known enough for a long time, so Doug was not able to do so since his series was cancelled shortly after his movie's theatrical release.)
=== Doug Funnie: ===
You're the underdog, lower than Snoop in rapping,
(An underdog is someone who is thought to have little to no chance of winning a competition, and Charlie Brown is often seen as an example of this. Because of that, Doug knows he already won't be able to beat him, even saying he isn't even on Snoopy's level. This also references the rapper named Snoop Dogg.)
And also under Doug since you're a failure who's unhappy.
(Being below Snoopy makes Charlie Brown also lower than Doug in terms of rapping. Charlie Brown considers himself to be a failure, and he is nearly always unhappy, so Doug sees no reason for Charlie Brown to consider himself a winner.)
You think you fight dirty like Pig-Pen, but a mess is what you are.
(Pig-Pen is a Peanuts character who is always seen with a dust cloud around him and cannot get himself clean. Fighting dirty means you fight hard and without any restrictions, but Doug says Charlie Brown can't do this, making him a mess, or a screw-up.)
When the adults watch you wither, they would wail, "Wah wah wah."
(The adults in Peanuts are never shown, but only their voices are heard. Although they never speak, they are known for making a "wah wah" sound, which is made by muting a trombone to get the sound effect. "Wah wah wah" is also an onomatopoeia sound used after a character fails at accomplishing a task. Since Charlie Brown nearly never succeeds in his task, Doug thinks the adults would just make this sound to describe his failure.)
You better race for your life to run away from this crisis.
(Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown is a Peanuts film released in 1977. Doug uses this title to say Charlie Brown should run away from him like his life depends on it, as beating Charlie Brown would make him feel bad about losing.)
You're insecurity at its finest, so go get a blanket like Linus!
(Charlie Brown is very insecure, and Doug calls him to be the best example of insecurity, so he suggests to get a security blanket like the one Charlie Brown's best friend, Linus van Pelt, always holds.)
Now I'll conclude this journal entry by departing this sad sack.
(Doug would often write in his journal in each episode of Doug, and here, he is finishing his verse by saying bye to Charlie Brown, whom he calls a sad sack, or a miserable person.)
Bon voyage, Charlie Brown, and don't come back!
(Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (and Don't Come Back!!) is a 1980 Peanuts film in which Charlie Brown and his friends go on a trip to Europe. "Bon voyage" means to "have a good trip" in French, and it is often said when people leave for a vacation or a trip. Doug says this in reference to the film, and he tells him to not come back to see him again.)
=== Charlie Brown: ===
Aaugh! No psychiatric help could help you manage the damage of this defeat.
("Aaugh!" is a phrase often said in the Peanuts comic strips when a character expresses discontent with something and groans. Charlie Brown says this as he gets tired of battling Doug and tells him that he couldn't get over the fact that he lost even if he saw a psychiatrist about it.)
Not like your bum rap could pay the fee. (You blockhead!) Good grief.
(Charlie Brown uses wordplay to describe Doug's rapping as poor like a bum, or a slacker, and alludes to the Doug episode "Doug's Bum Rap". In Peanuts, Lucy van Pelt has a psychiatric booth, for which she charges a nickel for advice. Charlie Brown says that Doug's rapping isn't even worth five cents. "You blockhead!" is something Lucy would always say to Charlie Brown, but she says it to Doug since his verses had poor quality. "Good grief" is also a popular catchphrase often said by Charlie Brown.)
You'll need to pump up; put some muscle on those shrimpy sticks.
("Doug Pumps Up" is an episode from Doug in which the title character tries to get fit by exercising. Since Charlie Brown plays sports, he says Doug would have to get pumped up to be his strength. He calls his arms "shrimpy sticks", meaning they're skinny and weak.)
You can't dig it or win it. Go write that in your Diary of a Wimpy Kid,
("Doug Can't Dig It" is another Doug episode. Charlie Brown says this to show Doug won't be able to win, and he should write that in his journal. Diary of a Wimpy Kid is a book series in which the main character, Greg Heffley, writes about his life in his journal, which he claims is not a diary. Since Charlie Brown says Doug isn't fit, he calls him a wimpy kid, and his journal is written like Greg Heffley's.)
'Cause even with your lucky hat, Agent Adams is getting Smashed.
("Doug's Lucky Hat" is an episode about Doug wearing a hat he considers lucky, but Charlie Brown says wearing it won't help him from losing. Smash Adams is a fictional character from Doug that parodies James Bond, and Doug often imagines himself being like him in several episodes. Charlie Brown says that pretending to be this character still won't allow him to win.)
Patty's got my back while yours rejects you in every dream you have.
(Peppermint Patty is a Peanuts character who likes Charlie Brown, making her one of his close friends. Meanwhile, Doug is infatuated with Patti Mayonnaise, who Doug often daydreams about being with but does not return affection for him in the Nickelodeon series.)
It looks like Thanksgiving came early. I'm toasting you and your failed plan,
(A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is the Peanuts Thanksgiving special, and Charlie Brown says the holiday has come early as he will explain in the last line.)
So someone pass the Mayonnaise 'cause I've just cooked us a Quailman.
(Charlie Brown says to pass mayonnaise, a condiment that can be used for meals, in reference to Patti's last name. Quailman is Doug's superhero alter ego which takes the name from the bird. Since Thanksgiving has turkey as a traditional part of the meal, Charlie Brown says he alternatively cooked Doug like a quail and left him burned.)