Dresses like New Royalty

PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT
Video conference call
PPDC Marshals' weekly conference
5 March 2019
CEBRIÁN ARRIOLA, PANAMA: [Enters.]
BENJAMIN QUINTERO (EQUERRY), PANAMA: Good afternoon, Marshal Arriola. 
ARRIOLA: Good afternoon, Officer Quintero. [Sits.] How do I get this—
BENJAMIN QUINTERO (EQUERRY), PANAMA: Pull the lever, sir. 
ARRIOLA: —damn thing—
QUINTERO: Wrong lever, sir. 
ARRIOLA: Aha! 
[Chair squeaks.] 
ARRIOLA: Why do we even have that lever? 
QUINTERO: Get your ponytail out of the way, sir. 
ARRIOLA: Ah, thank you.
QUINTERO: And if you keep fidgeting, you'll wrinkle your cuffs. 
ARRIOLA: [grudgingly] Thank you, Quintero. 
QUINTERO: You're welcome, sir. Shall AGNIS patch you in? 
ARRIOLA: AGNIS, if you will? 
AGNIS ([Shatterdome] AI): Connecting Cebrián Arriola, Marshal, to 'Marshals' Weekly Whine'
QUINTERO: AGNIS, please make a note to ask Maintenance about your nomenclature directory—
ARRIOLA: I asked her to do that, actually. 
QUINTERO: AGNIS, please cancel the note. 
AGNIS: Note deleted.
ARRIOLA: [sotto voce] I can handle twenty-four channels, but this damn chair ....
QUINTERO: Your recording days aren't behind you yet? 
ARRIOLA: The new babies need new lullabies. 
QUINTERO: Tatyana and ...? 
ARRIOLA: Maria. Felipa's grandbaby."
QUINTERO: Is that the San Jose or Chicago branch?
ARRIOLA: Neither; they're all the Puerto Rican branch now. Everyone moved back home except me.
AGNIS: Call connected. Whining may now commence. 
SOUMA MINAMI, HIMSELF TOKYO: Arriola, just /what are you wearing?
ARRIOLA: [Fluffs neckwear.] It's a cravat, Marshal. They look best on those with a certain amount of style.
SOUMA: And /why are you wearing it?
CHRISTINE MATEVOSIAN, LOS ANGELES: [Chokes on her coffee, exits quickly.]
ARRIOLA: I'm on my way to the annual fancy dress event at the Officers' Club.
XIONG LI-HUA, HONG KONG: If that is in fact familiar lacework, I would say the Costa twins found your wardrobe. 
STACKER PENTECOST, ANCHORAGE: You said something in front of them, didn't you?
ARRIOLA: [Sighs.]
PENTECOST: And that was ...?
ARRIOLA: In an unguarded moment, I may have mentioned I was enjoying a book about late eighteenth-century politics within their hearing.
PENTECOST: Did they find you the shoes, too?
ARRIOLA: Yes. [Smiles.] Unfortunately.
PENTECOST: Do I want to know what /they're wearing?
ARRIOLA: [Deep breath.] It involves shrieking, more corset boning than they have, and an unholy number of rhinestones, but as to what it is, I honestly couldn't tell with of all the glitter.
XIONG: No lace? Are they ill?
ARRIOLA: It was glittery lace. [Frowns.] I think.
[MATEVOSIAN and ALIZA COHEN (EQUERRY), LOS ANGELES, enter.]
[COHEN squawks, covers her mouth, scurries from the frame.]
ARRIOLA: What's so funny?
MATEVOSIAN: Dressed like that, you look like ... Aliza, I'm thinking that cold guy? 
COHEN [offscreen]: No, ma'am—you're thinking of Aaron Burr—! He looks nothing like Leslie Odom Junior!
MATEVOSIAN: Then who does he look like? 
COHEN: Alexander Hamilton from /Hamilton. The guy the musical's about?
MATEVOSIAN: Yea, him. Arriola, you look like that guy. 
ARRIOLA: [Furrows brow.]
MATEVOSIAN: It was /the show in twenty-sixteen?
COHEN [offscreen]: He only sings his name like, eight hundred times, and you mix him up with /Aaron /Burr of all people.
MATEVOSIAN: Well, pardon me for not remembering the details of a show I saw three years ago. 
XIONG: I do believe Burr's the damn fool who shot him. 
MATEVOSIAN: [sotto voce] Then I'm not /too far off thinking of him.
COHEN [offscreen]: Marshal Xiong remembers it and she was in /China! And's been managing /Hong Kong! 
[Silence.]
XIONG: I worked as a mediator for the United Nations while trying for Fei Yen. Husband and I must've seen every show on- and off-Broadway while we were there. 
COHEN [offscreen]: I want to be you guys when I grow up. 
XIONG: [Smiles.] [Picture flickers—]
AGNIS: Loss of signal from Xiong Li-hua of Hong Kong. Reconnecting. 
[A beat.]
COHEN [offscreen]: Oookay then. Marshal Matevosian, /you are watching it tonight. Officer Quintero? 
QUINTERO [offscreen]: Yes, Officer Cohen? 
COHEN [offscreen]: Make your marshal watch it tonight. 
QUINTERO: He has that Carnival fancy dress party tonight. 
COHEN [offscreen]: Shoot! Then tomorrow. 
QUINTERO: Shall do. AGNIS? 
AGNIS: Appointment "Make Marshal Arriola sit through /Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda" scheduled for tomorrow at twenty-hundred hours local time. 
ARRIOLA: [dubiously] I'm not really one for show tunes. 
COHEN [offscreen]: [frustrated] Seriously, make him watch it. These aren't typical 'show tunes'. 
PENTECOST: Even /I've seen it. Twice. 
AGNIS: Appointment priority changed to Level Five. 
COHEN [offscreen]: Thank you! 
AGNIS: Xiong Li-hua of Hong Kong connected. 
ARRIOLA: What happened, Marshal?
XIONG: I'll know within two minutes, forty-five seconds. 
THOMAS NGUYEN, SYDNEY: It's not the Lantern Festival again, is it? 
XIONG: The triplets are still cleaning mooncake off /Typhoon, so it very well could be. Yes, Nang? 
LÒ NANG (EQUERRY), HONG KONG [offscreen]: Good news or bad news? 
XIONG: Nang. 
[LÒ [offscreen]: Trying to catch my breath, ma'am. 
XIONG: The anteroom's yours. 
LÒ [offscreen]: Thank you, ma'am. 
PENTECOST: Their time for the 'LOCCENT dash' is improving.
NGUYEN: They get a lot of repetitions in.
PENTECOST: [Snort of amused concession.]
LÒ [offscreen]: Ma'am?
SOUMA: May I assume we will receive a short explanation rather than a long-winded one?
ARRIOLA: Did you ... did you just tell a /joke?
[A beat.]
SOUMA: [surprised] I may have.
ARRIOLA: [equally surprised] Wonders never cease.
NGUYEN: 'Hilarious' news first, please, Officer Lò.
XIONG: [Meaningful look.] 
NGUYEN: [Smiles innocently.] 
XIONG: [Sighs but smiles.] 
LÒ [offscreen]: [Deep breath.] Okay, so, hilariously bad news, /short version: we have to replace the wiring in /Horizon Brave Two's left arm because it turns out, when one replaces the 'cryo' in 'cryocannon' with 'soap', the insides get messed up, and there's an explosion of bubbles the size of trucks which are big enough to carry away small children, bits of machinery, and assorted clothing. 
XIONG: And my three-year-old would be ...? 
LÒ [offscreen]: Approximately sixty meters from where your husband left her when he stood up to stretch. 
XIONG: And the triplets? 
LÒ [offscreen]: Probably /not somewhere in the rafters but when I left the crews hadn't climbed up that high yet. 
XIONG: [Acknowledges.]
LÒ [offscreen]: Good news, though—we won't have to flood the hangar Saturday for this week's cleaning because we're doing it today instead! 
XIONG: I do like the sound of a Saturday morning to myself. 
[A beat.] 
LÒ [offscreen]: Ey, they found Ranger Wei Jin in the rafters! [Laughs.] Seems the bubbles could carry away young adults, too!
XIONG: Quite. Escort him to the clothesline upon his extraction, please. 
LÒ [offscreen]: Consider it done. 
XIONG: Thank you, Nang. 
LÒ [offscreen]: You're very welcome. 
SOUMA: Is ... Is this normal? 
NGUYEN: Yes. 
[A beat.] 
NGUYEN: I'm very sorry, Marshal—
XIONG: Thank you, Thomas. Yes, Minami, this is an average day in the Hong Kong Shatterdome. 
MATEVOSIAN: Good lord.
SOUMA: [sott[o] voce] 「South of three treasures.」
PENTECOST: Be glad you only have the Costas, Arriola.
ARRIOLA: I'll try to keep that in mind. [Adjusts cuffs like QUINTERO told him not to.] I believe we have business to discuss?
NGUYEN: [Chuckles.] Yes, yes, of course. Wouldn't want the star to be late to the show.
Category:Ficlet
Category:Marshals' Weekly Conference Calls
Category:Souma
Category:Souma (ficlet)
Category:Xiong is Queen of the Mad(house)
Category:Nguyen
Category:Nguyen (ficlet)
Category:Chantell
Category:Chantell (ficlet)
Category:Aliza
Category:Aliza (ficlet)
Category:Quintero
Category:Quintero (ficlet)
Category:Matevosian
Category:Matevosian (ficlet)
Category:Nang
Category:Nang (ficlet)
Category:Fei Yen (mention)
Category:Mr Xiong (mention)
Category:Wei triplets (mention)
Category:Team Crimson Typhoon (mention)
Category:Crimson Typhoon (mention)
Category:Horizon Brave (mention)
Category:Pentecost
Category:Pentecost (ficlet)
Category:Arriola
Category:Arriola (ficlet)
Category:Ficlets with images
Category:StarWars (reference)
Category:AGNIS
Category:AGNIS (ficlet)
Category:Emperor's New Groove (reference)
Category:Arriola-Altamaria family (mention)
Category:Hamilton (reference)