Emily and John:001

Emily: kk im back
John: i missed u so much
Emily: sry i left you earlier, i had to go to the grissom band meeting
Emily: i know... cuz im sexy
John: yeah
Emily: rofl
Emily: i can't go anywhere but school or church or use the phone for 3 days
Emily: :(
John: why?
Emily: i got grounded
John: u better have done something freakign sweet
Emily: i hit my sister
John: lol
John: thats all?
Emily: yep
Emily: she hits me 1ce and gets grounded 4 2weeks
Emily: im glad i only got 3 days
Emily: but then again
Emily: im the favorite
Emily: so i knew i would\
John: why did u hit her?
Emily: cuz she poked me
John: was it about clevage again?
Emily: really hard
Emily: yes
Emily: actually no
Emily: it was that when itook off my jacket
Emily: she saw my stomache
John: lol
Emily: yep
John: she's jealous
Emily: she does it evbery day
John: i wish i had a stomach like yours
John: :(
Emily: rofl
Emily: so does everyone else
John: yeah
John: except Sarah
Emily: yep
Emily: she just wishes her wouldn't wail
John: lol
Emily: lol
Emily: our avatars should go out, cuz they're to hott for their lemurs
John: yeah totally
Emily: heck yes
Emily: they need name
Emily: *names
John: mine's name is uh...
John: john?
Emily: lol ok
Emily: and mine can be....
Emily: um...
Emily: (help me think)
John: emily is a hawt name
Emily: ok, she can be emily
Emily: *emily thinks about how hawt john's name is*
John: *john thinks about sex, emily and other girls, but thinks abou emily more than the
other girls, and sex more than emily*
Emily: *she concludes that it's not sexy enough and renames him as <insert hawt name here>*
Emily: *emily thinks about other girls and sex too*
Emily: rofl
John: *john thinks about her thinking about other girls*
Emily: *Emily watches John thinking about her thinking about other girls*
John: *john thinks about watching some wrestling*
Emily: *Emily tries to think of hawter name than John to rename him as*
John: hmmm
Emily: *Emily can't think of a hawter guy's name right now, so decides not to change it yet*
John: *john wants cake, stereotypically wants a woman to bake it*
John: hey emily
Emily: hey John
John: so, u wanna hang out?
Emily: I want some cake
Emily: will you bake one for me?
John: really?
John: I'll bake anythign fro you
Emily: mabey
Emily: no, I lie
John: OH SNAP
Emily: fro?
Emily: fro me?
Emily: OMHBFM!!!!!!!
John: fro u
Emily: KELIES!
Emily: ok, yeah, lets go hang out
John: lets goto walmart!
Emily: uber awesome!
Emily: *they go to Walmart*
Emily: ok, so
Emily: ...
Emily: yeah
John: lets freakign freedom hard
Emily: ok!
John: *john grossly slobbers lips with emily*
Emily: *Emily rapes John*
Emily: bwahahahahaha
John: *john wants more*
Emily: *Emily gives it to him*
John: *johns gets it*
Emily: *Emily dies*
John: *johns takes advantage of her unconsciousness*
Emily: *Emily decides she is too uber sexy for death, comes back to life, and give John more*
Emily: **gives
John: *john cant get enough*
Emily: *Emily can't give enough so decides it doesn't matter*
John: *john gets tired*
Emily: *Emily does too*
Emily: *Goes to sleep*
John: *john gets more tired*
John: *john checks out emily's butt pervertedly during her sleep*
Emily: *Emily wakes up and slaps John out of conciousness, then goes back to sleep*
John: oh mama mia
John: That was fun, I'm going home now bye
John: *john prepares to leave*
Emily: *italian guy walks up and says "you 2 do know you're in the middle of wal-mart right?"*
Emily: so?
John: *john looks at him, and becomes super pissed*
Emily: (italian guy) well that kinda gross
Emily: so?
John: *john kicks italian man in face*
John: *then he does it again*
Emily: *emily hugs John*
John: *then he does it while hugging emily*
Emily: *and kicks the italian guy too*
John: *john makes italian man explode just by looking at him*
Emily: *italian guy dies*
Emily: that's sexy
John: *john makes him explode agian*
Emily: that is too
John: *even though neither are ninjas, John trie to have hawt ninja sex with emily*
Emily: *Emily secretly is a ninja, but John didn't know it, so she calls him a no0b and
teaches him to do it right*
John: *john is embarrased*
Emily: it's ok, it happened to me too
John: really, baby?
Emily: heck yes!
John: *john whistles, and a unicorn comes out. John jumps on top of it*
John: Lets go, baby!
Emily: *Emily does too* lets ride a unicorn away!
John: *secretly, in the evil layer of an old guy who's daughter lives in a basement, An evil
maulant butterfly prepares an evil plan*
Emily: its lair not layer
John: no, its the evil layer, as in, layer, like a place between 2 parallel planes
Emily: no0b
John: :(
Emily: im sorry.*makes out with John*
John: *rudely returns kiss with eyes open*
John: *the maulant butterfly comes into the air, where emily and john and the unicorn has
ascended*
Emily: why are you so rude? 
John: uh...
Emily: oh my gawd
Emily: !
John: I'm sry?
Emily: ok
John: OH MAH GAWS, WHATS DAT?
Emily: exactly
John: *teh maulant butterfly had a cyborge armchair, and was sitting in it while flying*
Emily: o em geez!
John: *john kicks the maulant butterfly in liek 6 nuts, and the butterfly doesn't budge, as if
compeltely unhurt*
John: WHAT TEH?
Emily: yet again, o em geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John: *The unicorn dreams about how it would be cool to have a hamburger*
John: *John throws emily at the maulant butterfly, permanently damaging the arm chair's fuel
supply*
Emily: *emily slaps the unicorn and say don't think of food, think of killing butterflies!!!!
Emily: *emily is unhurt because she s sexy
John: *John remembers a vision of an old man saying "butterflies are the most sacred and holy
life in existance"*
Emily: that man was a fag
John: *then he remembers the old man transforming into a dragon and and makign out with other
male dragons*
John: what a fag
Emily: yeah see? I told you
John: *The maulant butterfly bites john*
John: *john cries*
John: Where my woman???
Emily: *emily bites the butterfly, then makes out with john*
John: *john tastes the bug guts fromher mouth, and only frenches harder*
John: *the maulant butterfly dies from massvies bowl movements such as texas and laura croft,
so he fals tot he ground and slowly bleeding to deaht.*
John: *John is happy*
Emily: *Emily kicks the dying butterfly in like, 7 groins and keeps frenching John*
John: *john frenches her until he gets tired*
John: *then he goes to the ultimate home*
Emily: *Emily never gets tired, she just sleeps because it makes john happy*
Emily: *she follows him*
Emily: kk, *Emily kisses John*