2013.06.26 - Pizza and Dirty Jokes

Well, the morning didn't go so well. And the afternoon isn't looking a whole lot better. After a very disappointing 11-o'clock meeting, Justin Hammer decided to take lunch at a reasonable hour. He was scheduled to head over to the Queens facility and check on the damage repair to the buildings at 3, which gave him plenty of time to take a leisurely lunch. He also elected to drive himself, giving him some well-deserved time to think.
The black Hummer H1 pulls up to the curb outside of Angelo's Pizzeria and parks in front of a meter. The second, almost identical vehicle, passes the first and keeps going around the block. Hammer exits the black urban assault vehicle and straightens his suit coat. He drops a couple quarters into the meter and makes his way into the restaurant.
Inside the pizzeria, there is a familiar sight. Coming in for his lunch break on his daily patrol, Keith has commanded a booth and seems to be in the process of starting to eat one of the small, personal pizzas. He normally would have eaten further south, but his favorite pizza place burned down a week ago and he has to wait until insurance and repairs bring it back... if they decide to come back. Until then, Angelo's was more than a welcome replacement. He had stopped two robberies so far, one of them had involved some intense acrobatics as he ducked from gunfire. That could open up an appetite. 
Well, on top of the jumping from buildings and climbing up and down thing.
Unlike Hammer, Tommy's morning just began a little bit ago... when he rolled out of bed. And then it was digging through his closet for a clean shirt and pants. He really needs to get around to doing some laundry. But first thing first..... breakfast/lunch is on the agenda. And since the fridge was empty other than beers, the local pizza place will do nicely. Tommy pauses at seeing the pair of hummers pull up infront of Angelo. Someone either has good taste in pizza or is slumming it. Tommy offers a low whistle and runs his hand across the hood of the H1 as he crosses between the two H1's and follows Hammer inside. "Nice wheels, Mr. Fancy Pants." Tommy whistles low. Of course, his impressed reaction to the two H1's is on hold when he catches sight of the strangely colored feline in spandex in the pizza shop. "So much for originality." He offers to himself.
Hammer stops and looks back when he hears a voice just after he enters the pizzaria. He gives a bit of a hard look to the younger man, but then nods. "Thanks," he returns before looking toward the tables. This looks like one of the seat yourself sort of places, so he starts for a booth. Then he spots a familiar and very unforgettable form. Apparently Tommy catches sight of Keith at the same time, because Justin is still close enough to catch the young man's comment. He stops and looks back toward Tommy. "What, you another purple cat?" he asks as if feeing a purple cat was perfectly normal.
Hammer stops and looks back when he hears a voice just after he enters the pizzaria. He gives a bit of a hard look to the younger man, but then nods. "Thanks," he returns before looking toward the tables. This looks like one of the seat yourself sort of places, so he starts for a booth. Then he spots a familiar and very unforgettable form. Apparently Tommy catches sight of Keith at the same time, because Justin is still close enough to catch the young man's comment. He stops and looks back toward Tommy. "What, you know another purple cat?" he asks as if feeing a purple cat was perfectly normal.
Keith, also known as Vorpal, hears something. Purple. Cat. Having the kind of hearing he did, it was very hard not to attract his attention. He looks up from his Pizza, upon which he had been concentrating like a restorator trying to fix a ketchup stain on the Mona Lisa to find...
"Justin?"
He looks to the man Justin seemed to be addressing, obviously confused. HE was the purple cat, goddamn it.
Tommy Bronson slips his hands into his back pockets, rocking a bit on his feet. And then flashes Justin a smile when he turns back to question him about his overheard comment. "What? No... I meant the flavor crust. I swear nobody does anything original anymore." Yeah, obvious BS is obvious. But Tommy makes a note to watch his overreaction next time. When he catches notice that Keith is giving him the once over, Tommy offers a finger waggle. "Anchovy Pizza?"
Justin isn't stupid, and he's actually fairly good at reading people. He wouldn't be a CEO if he wasn't. "Uh, huh, yeah," he says with a nod of his head before walking toward Keith's table. "Keith, my friend, how are ya?" he says as he approaches, his tone fairly friendly though there's a hint of an underlying strain. Bad day, most likely. He notices the uniform and smirks. "Or should I call you Vorpal, since you're in uniform and all?" So much for secret identities if Hammer is around, though he's fairly certain that the Cheshire is open with his identity.
"Either is good, Justin, secret identities are for those who can shed their fur." He smiles at him, picking up on his body language "Sit down and call the cat a bastard, it looks like you could use a little something to relax. They've got great pizza in this place and a beer license." Which he doesn't partake of, his birthday still being around the corner. "Who is your friend?" he says, tilting a head towards Tommy and smirking at him.
On one hand, he was making fun of Keith. On the other hand, he was pretty handsome, so Keith lets it slide. "How did you know?" Oh, yeah... and he was actually right on that, too.
Since the Fancy Pants looking indvidual is joining the Purple Feline, Tommy decides to grab a nearby table? Why? Well... curiousity killed the cat. Even if he's not in his werecat form at the moment. "Did somebody say beer?" Tommy asks as he turned the chair around and sat on it backwards, resting his hands and his chin on the back of the chair. "I'm his long lost son... how about some money pops?" Tommy jokes, holding out his hand. It's a bad joke, even if Tommy doesn't look like he could rub two nickles together he's actually fairly well off. "Tommy Bronson." Tom offers to Keith's question. "And I could never stand those salt little demon fish myself. So more power to you."
The cat looks at Tommy, smirking after looking at Justin. "Why, you devil, you must have had this kid when you were... what, ten? they grow up so fast..." he sniffles into his napkin. "Still, I guess that with his obvious charm, you must have decided to throw him away and keep the stork."
Vorpal gives Tommy a cheshire grin- having said that for the sake of a joke, without any actual malice. "Vorpal. Or Keith. Either work for me." He doesn't introduce Justin, because it is up to Justin to decide whether he likes the guy or not. He had to admire the guy's panache, though. It was disturbingly close to his swagger when he was feeling more extroverted.
Hammer has a sense of humor, really, he does. Today has just been a bit of a test on him. He shoots Tommy a look of disapproval when he not only seems to join them uninvited but then proceeds to announce himself as Justin's son. Keith, however, manages to save the day by cracking his response. Dropping the look and chuckling, he offers his own, more humorous response. "What can I say? The ladies have always loved me." Looking toward Tommy, he offers his own name for the sake of introductions. "Justin Hammer. Nice to meet you, /son/." And by the looks of him, he can't be anyone other than /that/ Justin Hammer. The cocky CEO who ends up getting himself into more trouble than he can get out of.
Well... joined them in the sense of sitting at a nearby table and sticking his nose into their business. Tommy picks up a menu to flip through, smirking just a bit at Vorpal and Justin's comments aimed in his direction. "Pleased to meet you Keith. And hey, it's the Hammer Man. Arn't you slumming a bit?" Tommy wonders, gesturing around the pizzaria as he tries to decide what to order. "So what would you two recommend?"
"Actually, he owns the place." Keith jokes at that and gives Justin a conspiratorial wink. "My recommendation? Pizza. They really do everything good here. It's almost as good as Two Boots... but that one burned down." He says, looking downcast. He did manage to help Cace save people, but the building was a goner. It didn't help his face and Cace's were splattered all over the news after the fire, Keith was just as comfortable with the public eye as Cace was, after seeing what the Daily Bulge (his name for it) liked to do to poor spiderman.
The cat's joke actually makes Justin stop and think for a moment. Could there be a chance that one of his subsidiaries owns it? Highly doubtful, it looks like a mom and pop place. He chuckles as he picks up a menu to look over as well. He's getting pizza, just has to decide what kind. "Slumming? Not really. Some of these places have a hell of a lot better food, for a lot less, than the up town joints. As for recommendations..." He trails off as he looks over the list. "The meat pizza with extra cheese is a standing favorite of mine."
"Sorry to hear about the loss of your Boots, Puss." Tommy smirks with a light waggle of his brows at Vorpal, as he continues to browse the menu. Beer and Meatsa Pizza.... sounds like a good Breakfast/Lunch. "And if your friend here owns the place... then lunch should be on him. Don't you think?" Tommy flashes Hammer a grin. When the waitress does come around, Tommy puts in his order.. leaning back and stretching just a bit, fiddling with a zippo lighter. "Now if only they'd let you smoke anymore."
The cat smirks-- as he is barefoot and the joke works. "The boots were a drag. I've found a new thing to do--- I'm part of a band called 1023 Megabytes. We haven't had any gigs yet." He chuckles at the quip. "Hey, we pay for our own food, no freeriders here..." he wrinkles his nose at the quip about smoking. "...geez, smoking? A cute guy like you doing that foul stuff? Emphizema isn't sexy, you know. Unless you're Keith Richards. But that's because that man is some sort of alien. By all accounts he should be dead by now." he munches on his pizza. "Or... maybe he is dead, and nobody's told him yet."
Justin just looks at Keith. Did he really just make that joke? He counters with a lame one of his own. "I always did think you had a couple bad sectors." He then turns his attention to the waitress, ordering one of the all-the-artery-clogging-meats-on-one-pie-plus-extra-cheese personal pizzas, and a Mountain Dew. As good as beer sounds, he's driving plus he still has a lot of work to do. Caffeine is the more sound choice. Once the waitress has left Hammer turns his attention back to the current banter.
Tommy just chuckles just a bit at Keith's response to the 'Puss 'N Boots' joke. "You two are terrible. You make my bad jokes look good." Tommy notes, rolling his eyes just a little bit. "Cute? Me? Nahhhhh..." Tommy chuckles, leaning back and running his fingers through his hair. "You must have me confused with someone else. And everyone knows that Keith Richards is a zombie. Shame his fake choppers means he's always starving." Tommy comments with a wink. "And there's nothing wrong with smoking. There's worse habits. Like you never do catnip?"
It had never actually ocurred to Keith. "Actually... I haven't. And I'm scared and curious about it at the same time. But I'd rather not. I have an example to set." He says, sincerely this time. "So what do you do, Mister Tommy?" He doesn't need to say what he does. The way he is dressed, he could either be a superhero or a circus performer, and the circus left town recently on tour.
Yes, Justin's sense of humor, when present, is awful. That isn't anything he can deny. "I had my money on vampire," he offers in response to what Keith Richards may or may not be. He falls silent about the time that the waitress brings over a glass of soda for him, and Tommy's beer and just listens.
"I've heard it's pretty amazing... and makes a fantastic tea as well." Tommy notes while taking a draw off his beer. "It's not like it's a controlled substance." Tommy... he's such a bad influence. Bad kitty. "Mister Tommy? Why so formal... Tommy is fine. As for what I do..." Tommy licks his lips as he considers. "Probably nothing that could be all that interesting as a werecat in spandex. Or whatever you are."
The cat raises an eyebrow. "Werecat? Heh... no, I'm a WasCat, I guess. Or an AlwaysCat. I'm stuck in this form, as unsightly and purple as it is." He chomps on his pizza and licks his lips... damned, the pizza here was good. Maybe he'd make this his regular place. If Boots didn't rebuilt. 
"Pfff, why not let me be the judge if you're interesting or not?" Maybe the spandex had been a bad idea? But two thirds of the heroes wore it, and he'd added kevlar to the important parts. Besides, it was hard to do proper Tiger Style with cumbersome clothes... and walking around in a ghi was just asking for Karate Kid from the Legion to take offense for ripping off his style.
Justin takes a drink from the soda he has, and looks between his two unusual lunch companions. He's still pondering over Tommy's original comment about not being original, and his seeming lack of forthcoming answers. Kid's hiding something, the CEO can tell.
"Nothing wrong with purple. And if you wanted a change you could always dye it. The costume is a bit garish though... but I guess it works with the whole 'Purple' thing." Tommy rambles just a bit, taking another draw off his beer. Tommy glances between Vorpal and Justin, perking a brow at the CEO. "Your dining companion is a bit quiet though. What's the matter... cat got your tongue?" He glances back at Vorpal. "You been nibbling at his tongue? Bad kitty." Tommy waggles a finger at Vorpal... clearly amused with himself.
Right, because he hasn't heard that joke a million times already, he thinks with a smirk. He decides then that he's going to try to embarrass Tommy for the joke at Justin-- all in good humor, though. It was clear Tommy was evading answering his question with humor. Well, if there was something a cat couldn't resist swiping at was a retreat.
"Him? oh, no, I'm afraid I'm not his type." Developing such a mischievous look in his eyes that the cheshire grin is pure Wonderland, he rests his chin on his hands. "You, on the other hand? I'd nibble on your tongue until the moon comes down. But I don't think you could handle it." Big smirk and lean back. "How's the pizza, Justin?" He says, grinning.
The one normal in this odd little gathering looks over at Tommy when he makes a comment about him being quiet. True, Justin being quiet is unusual and often a bit frightening, but it does happen from time to time. He groans at the cat-tongue comment, shaking his head. Before he can answer, though, Keith steps in with a quick-witted reply. Justin had suspected that Keith wasn't a ladies' cat, but that pretty much confirmed it. He chuckles, "Nope, not my type. Sheds too much." Awaiting Tommy's reply he starts in on the pizza the waitress has just delivered. "Pizza's as good as always," he finally says in reply to Keith's question.
Tommy Bronson is Normal!? What... who said he wasn't!?! Tommy can't help but shake his head and laugh at Vorpal's forward flirting. Whether it's serious or not, he's not a good judge of things. "Well... I should absolutely be flattered then. But I think your scaring the normie..." Tommy gestures towards Justin, though whether that's an indication that he's not normal or not.... is up to others to interpret. "Everybody sheds... it's the sequel to that book, everybody poops. Except you're leaving behind skin cells and eyelashes and such."
He was rolling with the punches, darnit. Keith was in the presence of someone who seemed to be pretty unflappable. He couldn't lose face. "Justin? Justin's not normal. The man attends the wedding of gods. I don't think he would be scared by as little as this." He smirks.
'Alright, now you have to serve the ball in his court and watch him fall flat on his butt.'
"Then again, if I were bad at it, I'd probably try to avoid the subject." A sip from his drink.
'And serve! he's got nowhere to go but to backtrack and make beep beep noises.'
It was a cat thing, he had to score a point and not retreat. Though he did so with enough playfulness so as not to be offensive. Being a Cheshire had some advantages, in that it did blunt some of the edge of his otherwise feline disposition.
Well, hasn't this devolved into wonderful lunch conversation. Justin snerks, taking another bite of the slice of pizza he has. Yep, he's been in the presence of deities, mutants and his ex-wife. This is nothing in comparison. "Hey, trust me, this is tame compared to some of the board meetings I've been in." He watches as the verbal volley goes back and forth, wondering which one of the two is going to back down first. Tommy is a complete unknown, so it's hard to judge.
Tommy does wonder how Vorpal would react to his alter ego. He may have to track him down sometime to see. The whole werecat thing isn't very common from what he's seen. And what the heck, it might be worth a laugh or two. "So what you're saying is that he likes to watch?" Tommy asks of Vorpal, gesturing to Hammer. Yeah... he's twisting what Keith said, but that's part of the fun. Especially when you have a smart mouth and someone is challenging you. A wide smile is flashed in Hammer's direction, suggesting 'No Harm, No Foul'.
Keith gives Justin a sidelong glance, as if to say 'I've got this covered' with a smirk.
"I don't know... and I guess I'll never know, since it seems the team has decided to let the visitors win by default, so there's no show worth watching."
'Ahaha, yes!'
'He can still strike back, you know.'
'Yeah, yeah, I'd like to see him try.'
'No you wouldn't.'
"Anchovies?" he says with a grin, offering the last slice of pizza at Tommy.
Justin shoots a look toward Tommy. "Not unless you grow tits and start looking a lot more like Emilia Clarke," he replies before Keith delivers yet another blow. His tone isn't nearly as friendly, though he really is joking. He just has bad communication skills, something you wouldn't expect from a CEO of a large corporation. Despite having started out in a pretty cranky mood, Hammer is handing all this pretty well and finding a good bit of amusement in the Cheshire's wit being directed elsewhere.
"You'd be sorry if I was a shapesfhifter..." Tommy noted with a grin at Justin, saluting him with his beer before taking a swig. "And 'tits'? Really? So much for the illusion of the classy CEO." Tommy offers a dramatic sigh, shaking his head just a little bit. "For shame." Tommy tsks playfully. A smile is returned to Keith, as he eyes the offered slice of pizza. "I really shouldn't. Have to watch my girlish figure. But it's rude to turn down such a generous offer." Tommy also takes it as an invitation to join Justin and Keith's table... leaning in and taking a bite of the offered pizza.
"Please, you're not the shapeshifter." Retorts Keith.
"I am."
And right before his eyes, the cat becomes the most stunning blonde one is likely to find in miles around: platinum blonde hair falling in soft waves around her. Her face is not conventionally beautiful, in that bland and samey way in which all fashion models look, but she has the strong features of a young Katharine Hepburn and piercing, violet eyes. She is still wearing the spandex suit, but it has filled out quite differently from when it was a muscular purple cat. She parts her lips and smiles, her voice low and smoky:
"Now you probably wish you'd had the courage to show up to bat, I wager."
Classy? Who the hell ever said that Justin Hammer was classy? Has Tommy seen the news? Justin is the master of stepping on his own- well, lets just say his words usually don't inspire and enthrall. He grins wryly at Tommy, then looks toward Vorpal. The sudden transformation causes him to blink, then chuckle. He knows it's an illusion, but DAMN. Thats a mighty fine illusion. "Okay, now I'll watch," he says rather bluntly before taking a drink of Mountain Dew.
This does get a rise out of Tommy, at least getting his eyebrows to go up in surprise. He can't help himself, and reaches out to run his fingers along the back of Keith's hand. Just to see if it's a full shapeshifting or if it's some sort of illusion. "Well now... arn't you full of surpises." Tommy laughs softly and flashes a grin, before turning his focus over to Justin. "In a word... ewww." He snorts just a bit and laughs.
The back of Keith's hand... feels pretty much as if it is covered in fur. He dismisses the illusion and gives him a cheshire grin "More than you'll ever know, boy, more than you'll ever know." He says, and suddenly disappears into thin air! Or rather, appears standing next to the table. "I hate to eat and run, but I was in the middle of a patrol," he says, readjusting his uniform and reaching into a secret pocket to pay for the pizza. "As always it's good to see you, Justin." He smirks at Tommy "And you too, Tommy. Don't take any wooden nickels, okay?" he says, flipping a glowing, purple coin towards Tommy's forehead for him to catch in mid-air. The flip is actually pretty fast, faster than most humans would be able to catch.
Ha, Justin actually managed to get a reasonable reaction out of Tommy. That's a victory in his mind. He laughs along with Tommy and watches as Keith's form flickers back to it's original. Then, the disappearing act. That's the first time he's seen Keith do that, and it gets an impressed appraisal. He nods as the cat announces he's heading back out on patrol. "Take care, Keith. Keep the streets safe for us out there."
Tommy's basically normal in his human form, so there's no cool Matrixish dodge or anything. In fact, Tommy flails and nearly falls out of his chair. "Hey, watch it Grimace The Cat!" Tommy snorts, but offers a cheeky little smile. "Catch you around, Wonder Cat. I'll keep your pal here company in your absence."
'Darnit, I guess he *is* a normal, despite his earlier quib. So much for that epic reveal!'
"You too, Tommy Boy. I hope I get to see more of you in the future." The coin disappears as it clinks on the ground. He gives Justin a salute and a smirk and puts the money on the table, enough to cover for the three. Someone just cashed their stipend check. "On me." He says, and he isn't there anymore, but appears right by the window outside the parlor, where he grins, waves, and then takes off, climbing up the roof and out of view. 
Talk about not taking 'no' for an answer.
Hammer watches the coin and how Tommy nearly falls. That draws a grin from the CEO, but the money on the table squelches the expression. The man doesn't have a chance to respond or protest before the Cheshire is gone. That's his game, paying for meals and over tipping. Looking away from where Keith disappeared to and back toward Tommy, he offers the other man a shrug. "Guess he decided that there should be a free lunch after all."
It should be noted that Tommy's kinda a wuss... even if he does show a great deal of bravado at times. Tommy shakes his head at Vorpal as the strange catman leaves, now left alone with Justin Hammer. Not always the best thing to be. "My... people come and go so quickly here." Wizard of Oz reference for the win. "Never been a fan of a free lunch. Creates obligations."
If it wasn't for Keith, Hammer's mood would likely still be pretty foul and he wouldn't have given Tommy the time of day. As it is, though, he's not above a bit of conversation while he eats. Beats sitting and brooding over what he's going to find at the Queens facility. "Eh, consider it good fortune. I honestly don't think Keith is the kind to hold something like that against people. For him it's a kind gesture, and nothing more." Unlike Justin, who uses such gestures as a way to flaunt his money or influence, or to use as persuasion later.
"If you say so.... I still am not a fan. I'll have to get it first next time." Tommy offers as he rolls his shoulders, finishing off his beer and picking at his pizza. He'll probably end up taking most of it back home. At least it's not a long journey.
Justin shrugs lightly as he finishes off a piece of pizza and takes a drink from the glass he has. The waitress has refilled it once already, and it's low again. "I understand where you're coming from," he says offhandedly, "But take good fortune where you can get it. You never know when your luck may change." A wise statement from Hammer? Why can't he manage to say things like this when there are cameras rolling?
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