Uncontrolled Airspace/Transcript

__NOTOC__
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsQc73Msg0k
Beehive is awoken by turbulence swarming around her head, even though her bees are all asleep. She checks on her somewhat small team, and notices Paper Lantern sleep-talking in Chinese, Cat Bell curled up in her bed, and Yoylebook loudly snoring while spit-roasting a noticeably dry picnic shoulder with his feet. Beehive quickly moistens the roast, then sneaks outside to take in the sight of the polluted evening sky. She takes her queen bee from out of her mouth and greets her with the warmest smile she can muster.
Beehive: Hey, Bethany. How’s the hive going in there? Are the bees healthy? You certainly look healthy. Your black and yellow stripes are as vibrant as the sun, and your wings are like crystal sculptures!
The queen stares at Beehive, emotionless.
Beehive: Ah, You know, just between us mothers, these season’s pupas look like they’ve been eating very well! Something tells me they’re going to grow into some really strong, healthy bees! Well, okay, I guess I’m… Technically not a mother yet, but I like to think I’m one for my team!
Beehive sees her reflection through the bug’s compound eyes and notices her smile’s beginning to slip.
Beehive: You’ve, uh, never lost a bee, have you? Like, you’ve never let a bee down as a mother, to the point where he, um… Left?
The queen crawls around absentmindedly on Beehive’s hand.
Beehive: *Sigh* I wish I knew your secret, Beth. I mean, you can’t even talk (Not that that’s a bad thing) And you can still keep a million young bees happy! I can’t even take care of 6 objects… Not even…
Beehive momentarily pauses as a nasty lump of pain sticks in her throat.
Beehive: My best friend…
==3 hours ago==
Beehive hurries to the Fer-de-Lance station, where to her relief, Paperclip Snake is located.
Beehive: Paperclip Snake, what are you doing here? Everyone on the team is looking for you! We were all worried sick! Wh-why… Are you at the train station?
Paperclip Snake closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as though it were his last.
Paperclip Snake: If you found me, that means you must’ve read my letter. It’s true, Beehive. I can’t do this anymore … Clinko’s sadism has taken its toll on my health, as well as everyone else here. You’ve seen how Pearly and Milkshake have ended up. And I don’t want to see you end up like them. Which is why I’m offering you to come with me.
Beehive: But, but, where are you going?
Paperclip Snake: Away… I don’t know, honestly… Just away from this town of sociopaths. This whole competition has alienated me, and I feel like I need to… Find myself again, y’know? We could both travel the world, see new places, learn something new about ourselves and such. What do you say?
A large, intimidating train pulls up to the station, severely limiting Beehive’s time to choose. Beehive thinks long and hard, conflicting morals pulling at her like a game of tug of war.
Paperclip Snake: Beehive?
Beehive: I’m sorry, Clippy… But I want to make sure Paper Lantern, Cat Bell and Yoylebook will be alright, as well as everyone else. If I don’t, then who will?
PS softly chuckles.
Paperclip Snake: You always did look out for others. That’s why you’re my best friend, Beehive. You’re a good person.
Cheeto Johnferry: All ABOARD! Next stop: Lani Ln.!
Beehive and PS share one last hug together.
Beehive: I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you!
Paperclip Snake: Beehive, you were always there for me. I wouldn’t have had the will to leave without you.
Beehive: But-!
The Train’s horn loudly blares one final warning. Paperclip Snake briskly slithers aboard with his meager possessions.
Paperclip Snake: I promise I’ll come back! And when I do, I promise you this town will be saved!
Beehive stares on as the doors slam shut and PS disappears into the locomotive, as it rides into the night.
==3 hours later==
Beehive: Mmm… Was I wrong, Bethany? Should I have gone with him?
Bethany cleans her antennae.
Beehive: No, you’re right, it would be selfish. But abandoning your best friend isn’t? Oh, there’s no time to focus on that now. I have to look after our team! Shouldn’t be too hard, no? I already try to look after them? How different could it be?
Bethany flies back into Beehive’s eye.
Beehive: I just don’t know what to do…
Beehive slowly gets up and returns to get some sleep when a giant red crosshair appears over the team dorms. Jet-black fighter jets with Clinko’s insignia engraved in gold spray a strange green liquid all over the cabins, causing everything except to vaporize into a fine powder with a *POOF*.
Yoylebook: ZZZZZ-ACHOO! What in the blazes? Why am I sneezin’ in Autumn?
Pearly: Why is there so much dust in our dorms?
Flamingo Plush: WHY ARE THERE NO DORMS?!
A nearby lamp post crackles to life with a high-pitched whine, causing temporary tinnitus.
Megaphmpost: ATTENTION, CONTESTANTS. DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, YOUR DORMS ARE RETIRED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. Please move to the warehouse for breakfast!~
Paper Lantern: H-he jokes, yes? Clinko is being in the alcohol? He is attempting drugs?
Cat Bell: Oh, I don’t care if he’s joking. I already had trouble sleeping due to some clown hacking my collar, but now…He’ll be lucky if he can talk out the red meat that will be his face when I claw… *YAWN*
The Warriors look down as Cat Bell falls asleep mid-catnap.
Yoylebook: Aww. Kitty Bell’s so cute when she’s dreamin’ about murder!
Beehive: D-don’t worry, I’ll carry her there.
Paper Lantern: Are you being sure? You look more tire than she.
Beehive: I promise it’ll be okay.
Beehive carefully scoops up Cat Bell as she lets out a little snore.
Milkshake: Oh, getting up this early is not good for my skin! I’m like, gonna get so tired it’ll look like those elephants!
Gucci Flip-Flop: Oh, don’t worry, girl, you look fine! Heck, your strawberry looks bigger than ever before! It’s bulgin’, even!
Milkshake: Uh, thanks?
Dawn breaks as the CBT crew make their way to the bottom of the hill where their dorms were situated.
Flamingo Plush: Ugh, when can we eat? I’m STARVING!
Yoylebook: Yeah! The shock caused me to stop turnin’ and burn my meat! My roast is ruined!
Milkshake: Well, like, if they made us get up this early, surely, they’ll, like, make something good for us! Right?
No sooner do the contestants cross the street enter the loud, busy cafeteria that a cheap tray with an even cheaper bowl is plonked onto their hands. As they move up towards the meal queue, a nasty grey paste is defecated from a cacophonous machine, served by a large, overweight marabou stork.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jdkvKswphU&list=PL74EE7E6C2A3439BD&index=66
Brown Kind Of Flower: Y’know, there’s a fine line between optimism and stupidity. Did you forget where you’re competing?
Flamingo Plush: What IS this grey crap?! It better not be what I just said!
Doris: MY OWN RECIPE. IT’S A MIX OF SEEDS, BERRIES, FRUIT, INSECTS, BIRDS, EGGS, SMALL MAMMALS, FISH, BUDS, LARVAE, AQUATIC INVERTEBRATES, ACORNS AND OTHER NUTS, AQUATIC VEGETATION, GRAIN, DEAD ANIMALS AND GARBAGE MIXED INTO ONE SCRUMPTIOUS PUDDING. EVERY BIRD IS CATERED TO, AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY. ENJOY.
Flamingo Plush’s beak hangs wide open.
Flamingo Plush: No. I refuse to believe there are people out there who actually eat this.
Doris: WELL, HAVE FUN BEING THE FIRST TO ENJOY CLINKO’S PC MUESLI.
Doris sourly plops a bowl into FP’s hands, as Cat Bell starts to wake up.
Cat Bell: And then I’ll take the chicken strips I scratched off your face and eat them… Wha?
Cat Bell hops off Beehive’s arms, only to receive a bowl of PC muesli.
Cat Bell: You know what, maybe I should start from the other end.
After receiving their “food”, the contestants are directed to the seating area. They awkwardly scoot to 3 empty benches while some of the tens of thousands of chickens that make up Clinko’s workforce stare at them with looks of varying levels of scorn and resentment.
Paper Lantern: …Why they be so… upset?
Brown Kind Of Flower: Probably ‘cause we theoretically work for Clinko and almost get treated like actual people. Keyword being “theoretically”.
The teams plop down on the pot metal benches and mentally prepare themselves to digest ““breakfast””. Pearly timidly pokes the grain as it starts wriggling and turns green.
Pearly: I-I’m 90% sure I’ve got an allergy to this stuff.
Maybe: Y’know, maybe you could just say you don’t want to eat it.
C: Maybe you could stop being such a smartass about everything.
Maybe: Well, look which pot’s calling the kettle red-
Candy Paint: ENOUGH! Cut it out, you two! You’re acting like children!
Gucci Flip-Flop: Yeah! Is this how a team should be actin’? I don’t even want to think about what would happen if we weren’t here! C’mon, guys. We’re all friends here. Make up.
C: Fine… Sorry, Maybe.
Maybe: Yeah, whatever. Sorry, C.
CP and GFF share a fist bump under the table.
Neon Grassy: Hey, who’s that?
The chatter in the cafeteria is suddenly broken when a delivery Object comes in and clears his throat.
Letter: We have a delivery here for a Mr… Parsley?
The entire cafeteria is silent.
C: Uh… Do you mean “Pearly”?
Letter: Oh, um, yes! Wow, the picture given makes much more sense now.
C: Typical.
Letter: Right, so, you’ve been given a “Relief package”, and some sort of robot.
Letter presses on a button and the Relief Package opens hidden flaps, revealing processors and circuitry.
Relief Package: Greetings Pearly. This Relief Package has been programmed to designate you a meal plan with various meals to help you grow and STOP BEING SUCH A SHRIMP!
Flamingo Plush: Did someone say shrimp?!
Neon Grassy: Why is it talking like that? It sounds like there are 3 voices in there fighting for control.
Relief Package: IDIOT! This Relief Package has been designed to grant maximum comfort to the client by utilizing voices he’s familiar with.
Pearly: I-it’s true, I know some of these voices.
Relief Package: Dispensing morning breakfast.
Food can be heard whirring and cooking in the relief package, before a very large plate loaded with bacon and eggs and hash browns slide out of the box. The sight of the meal makes Pearly feel nauseous.
Pearly: Oh my corn silk, this is a lot of food… How am I supposed to eat all that?
Candy Paint: Uh… Eggs aren’t supposed to be green, right?
Gucci Flip Flop: No, I don’t think they should be.
Pearly: I think that’s just my medicine, actually…
Relief Package: EAT.
Pearly digs in.
Pearly: Mmm! It’s nice once you get used to it.
Gucci Flip Flop: Aw, nice! Yo, Pearly! Do you think you could slide some bacon and egg over?
Relief Package: STEP AWAY FROM THE BREAKFAST. Pearly is required to finish the whole thing.
Pearly: WHAT?!
Gucci Flip Flop: Aw, dangit! Why do you have to be like that?
Relief Package: The precise amount of prescribed medication has been dispensed throughout the entire thing.
GFF looks at his meal, disappointed, while the rest of Pearly’s teammates stare at him with a mix of envy, disdain, and hunger. Pearly notices the tension and awkwardly tries to hide behind his bacon mountain.
C: Y’know, between this and you screwing up last challenge, you’re not exactly making yourself a popular Moonstone.
Maybe: Well, maybe, but gross food is better than no food. Might as well eat.
The Moonstones reluctantly swallow their meals. The Gentle Warriors, meanwhile, are still attempting to muster the courage needed, as well as the will to stay awake.
Paper Lantern: Ugh, this be taste worse than food from some of the food stand back home!
Cat Bell: Mrowr… Has Clinko forgotten who we are? We deserve better meals than those chicken wage-slaves! How can you even eat this slop, Yoylebook? *Yawn*
Cat Bell turns to Yoylebook, who is currently wolfing down his 5th bowl.
Yoylebook: You kiddin’, Kitty Bell? This is just like my ma’s famous “Bird diet casserole”! She first made it when we’d plum ran out of food to eat, but my family and I loved it so much, she made it a special treat!
Yoylebook finishes off his serving, licking the plate clean.
Yoylebook: May I please have sixths of your finger-lickin dish, Moonpie?
Doris: ANYTHING FOR YOU, SWEETIE.
Cat Bell: That thing’s a chick?
Paper Lantern: She look like the adult, actually.
Cat Bell: No, what I meant was… *Sigh* Nevermind.
A voice suddenly crackles from Cat Bell’s collar.
???: You have to listen to me! This game has been rigged since the very beginning! There will be no hope unless you-
Cat Bell angrily paws at her collar until the voice fades out.
Yoylebook: Shucks… Is it that prank caller again?
Cat Bell: Yeah! I don’t know what kind of inside joke this is, but it’s been interrupting my catnaps left and right! The prankster’s tenacious, I’ll give him that. Maybe it’ll help him last longer than Clinko when I rip out his-
Beehive: Language, Cat Bell. Please.
Beehive stares at the bubbly brew.
Beehive: Hmm… I don’t think this will do at all. Maybe this will help…
Beehive reaches into her eye socket and grabs a handful of honey. She then raises her hand and lets it pour over the Gentle Warriors’ meals. The warriors mix the golden syrup and each take a bite.
Paper Lantern: This much better now! It almost edible! Thank you!
Cat Bell: Yeah! It’s like… Like… LIKE CLINKO INDUSTRIES’ BRAND NEW CLINKIE CRUNCHIES! NOW CONTAINING -20% LESS MALARIA!
Yoylebook: That’s real sweet o’ you, Beehive! I think I prefer mine plain, though!
Yoylebook digs his face in his bowl and chows down on his 6th bowl.
Beehive: Consider it a special treat, given our… New circumstances.
As Beehive pours some onto her own bowl, the spiritless wave of chickens warming the cafeteria’s benches take notice.
Chicken #344221: Woah, look. There’s like… Something tasty looking by the table with those objects.
Colour begins returning to the chickens’ faces.
Chicken #998302: I remember seeing something like this on my last Christmas holiday from 21 years ago. Something sweet and sticky; I think it was called…
Yoylebook: Hey, Paper Lamp! You fly a lot. Do you know if chickens fly a lot?
Paper Lantern: 什麼？Well, I do not see many chicken fly here in city, but in the mountain-
Yoylebook: Guess we know where Clinko got his workers.
Yoylebook points at the tsunami of invigorated chickens.
Chickens: HONEY!!!
The Gentle Warriors drown in feathers as the flock dogpiles Beehive, trying to get a taste of the liquid gold. The expected happens, and the chickens eventually leave, covered in bee stings.
Chicken #777744: *OW* Worth it.
Beehive: Oww… Oh my gosh, are you all okay?! You’re covered in bee stings!
Cat Bell is attempting to lick her wounds but winces whenever she touches a sting.
Yoylebook: No, Kitty! Lickin’ the poison ain’t gonna make it leave your body-house! You gotta SUCK it out! Here, lemme show you!
Beehive: Great job, Beehive… Okay, don’t move! I have some lotion for you all!
==The special announcement==
The mostly crabby contestants shuffle over to Clinko’s fancy purple opera-house-styled theatre and take their seats. Candy Paint notices Pearly waddling behind.
Candy Paint: Are you feeling all right, Pearly?
Pearly: Yeah, I… *Oof* I’ve never eaten this much in one sitting…
Candy Paint: Do we need to take you to the sick bay, or…?
Pearly: No, no thanks, I feel fine. Actually, I feel GREAT! I’ve got way more energy now than when I was on an IV drip diet!
Neon Grassy: Wow… I like these seats on the balcony! Reminds me of when I used to look down from space and see all you tiny people… All you… Tiny…
Neon Grassy begins to nod off and nearly falls over the edge, before being narrowly saved by Candy Paint.
Clinko: *AHEM* So, CBT contestants. I’m sure you’re all tired of wondering why your homes got the axe. Well, as you may know, over the past few weeks we’ve held a debut competition to find Paperclip Snake’s suitable replacement. We had a super high-tech finale planned, but unfortunately, our budget was not as high as we thought. Luckily, through your generous contributions/budget cuts, we were able to create… (Activates a cinema-sized screen) THE CAPITAL-COURSE!
The screen splits into 4 long shots focusing on Holy Keychain, Lenny, Butterscotch, and Styrofoam Cup preparing for the course.
(Author’s note: This debut finale is actually pretty long, and you can skip it if you don’t really care about it. Otherwise, go here.)
==Back to the people you care about==
As the contestants are watching the contest, another vertical screen pops up. Icons of the Moonstones are displayed with a vote count. Pearly is safe with 0 votes.
C: Oh, look. Us.
Maybe is safe with 2 votes.
Neon Grassy: Oh, right. We kinda...lost.
Gucci Flip Flop: Wait, he’s seriously doin’ this instead of just announcing it?
Neon Grassy is safe with 4 votes.
Candy Paint: I guess so. He’s been getting pretty lazy, if the last challenge is anything to go off of.
C is safe with 5 votes.
Candy Paint: Wait, we’re the bottom two?!
Gucci Flip Flop: What?! How in the--
The second screen turns off. A red spotlight shines over Gucci Flip Flop.
Clinko: CP is safe with only 16 votes! Gucci Flip Flop, you’re eliminated with 22. A record-high!
Gucci Flip Flop: I...what...but…
Clinko: Well, we have a busy day today. C’mon, into the torture dungeon you go!
Gucci Flip Flop: Well, it was nice enough. Honestly, this was great, even if I didn’t last long! You bros are great! All of ya! Good luck on the rest of the competition!
Gucci Flip Flop closes his eyes. He pulls a peace sign, before Candy Paint grabs his hand.
Gucci Flip Flop: Huh?
Candy Paint: You are not leaving.
Gucci Flip Flop: ...What?
Candy Paint: Clinko’s making a mistake. There’s no way you’d be eliminated.
Gucci Flip Flop: Yo, CP...Maybe you shouldn’t do this. Like, you might be costing yourself the entire prize!
Candy Paint: I don’t care about the prize! YOU need to be safe, Gucci! C’mon, Clinko, let anyone else go! Not him!
Gucci Flip Flop: Candy Paint, I--
Candy Paint: No! You’re staying! That’s final!
As CP argues with Gucci, Clinko stares, annoyed.
Clinko: ...Oh, for cluck’s sake...
Clinko pulls 2 levers. Candy Paint and Gucci Flip Flop fall into 2 trapdoors.
Neon Grassy: Wait, but...What?!
Clinko: AndjustlikethatCandyPaintandGucciFlip-Fliparedonezolooksliketheyliterallycouldn’tlivewithoutoneanothernoweveryonegatheroutsideweneedtoleaveNOW!
Clinko presses a button, that causes the chairs to flatten and collectively take the shape of a giant ramp. The objects tumble down and are met with a painful surprise.
Clinko: C’mon, then! Into the Bus! We’ve already wasted enough time as is! The driver will tell you what to do.
The contestants squeeze their way in and plonk down on the wooden chairs, except for Pearly, who has a reserved seat with a very safe and comfy-looking booster seat.
==Das bus==
The rickety, fume-belching bus sputters its way to the airport. The lizard driver flicks a switch and the intercom crackles to life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkvxk77BbIw&list=PLyQMRofVjOOpmeYKdNZcHSpsv4WnyYCXv&index=1
Ms. Lizzle: Alright, class! Today we’re continuing our field trip to the airport! Isn’t that fun? Today’s activity is getting Mr. Clinko’s special package from the airport! Mr. Clinko doesn’t want to get it himself, because, well, apparently he wants to keep his involvement there a secret!
Ms. Lizzle giggles over the intercom. Beehive turns and sees Paper Lantern fidgeting in the air excitedly.
Beehive: My, you seem excited.
Paper Lantern: YES! I LOVE AIRPORT! It is not only the beginning of a new adventure, but also the first experience of a new environment! My family has restaurant in one! Wait on… That’s right, it be here! My brother Festival Lantern work here!
Cat Bell: Wait, how much do kiosk… People earn again? Whatever. If we find him, maybe we could ask him for the airport key, or something. I dunno. I’m no expert on airport management.
Yoylebook: I’m jus’ as excited as you are, Lampy! Ol’ Yoylebook’s never been in the big city much, so I have never seen an airport before! By dirt… It’s like a big ol’ farm… for planes!
Cat Bell: I’m just looking forward to some time away from Doggie Bone.
Yoylebook: Aw, shucks. Have you two been a-fightin’?
Cat Bell: Ugh, it’s complicated…
Paper Lantern notices Beehive solemnly staring at the window.
Paper Lantern: What happened, Beehive?
Beehive: Oh, it’s… Nothing…
Cat Bell: Come on, it clearly isn’t nothing. Tell us the problem.
Beehive: It’s really not-
Yoylebook: C’mon, Beehive! We’ll listen!
Beehive: I, um… Was feeling a bit worried about our chances as a team. There’s only 4 of us left!
Yoylebook: Wait, f’real?
Yoylebook does some quick math on his fingers.
Yoylebook: Well, ain’t that a slap to the face.
Cat Bell: Is that really such a big deal?
Paper Lantern: Yes! If Beehive is worry, then we should do it!
Cat Bell: Alright, alright. If you’re that concerned about the game, then we should first get a team leader like the Moonstones and Reapers. Yoylebook, I don’t think you’re really the right book for the job. You’re a little… Brash.
Yoylebook breaks off a piece of the wooden seat.
Yoylebook: My pet termites are gonna love this! Wait, was you sayin’ somethin’?
Cat Bell: And Paper Lantern, I think we’d have some problems regarding communication if you were the leader.
Paper Lantern: Okay. So you are leader?
Cat Bell: No.
Paper Lantern: Why not?
Cat Bell: I don’t feel like it.
Yoylebook: Guess that leaves you, Beehive. You up to get a-leadin’?
Beehive: What? I-I don’t know about this, I…
Paper Lantern: Don’t worry! I think you will become a great leader!
Beehive observes her team’s optimistic faces and lets guilt overcome her.
Beehive: O-okay then…
Yoylebook: All right! Get ready, Moon Reapers! We’re comin’ for you!
Flamingo Plush: Ooh, we’re so scared~.
Yoylebook: Y’all should be!
Cat Bell: Hey. Thanks for doing this for us. I’m sure things’ll work out. Probably.
Beehive puts on a friendly smile and goes back to the window to hide the anxiety formed by this new responsibility.
Comic Book: *Sigh* I admit, I’m kinda sad Candy Paint’s gone…
Flamingo Plush lights up upon hearing this and scoots closer towards Comic Book.
Flamingo Plush: Oh-HO? Has our little superhero found his damsel in distress? Discovered his super-weakness? Met the heroine with the power to turn him to mush?
FP repeatedly nudges Comic Book with her plush wing. Keychain takes notice and wearily puts down his book.
Keychain: Knock it off, Flamingo Plush.
FP turns behind and blows a raspberry at Keychain.
Flamingo Plush: Ugh! By my beak, I’m just KIDDING. God, you boys always get all uppity over nothing. Am I right, Milkshake?
Flamingo Plush leans to the seat in front for a high-five, only to discover both Milkshake and Strawberry are fast asleep.
Flamingo Plush: Aw, the poor thing’s out cold. Who does Clinko think he is, bullying others like that?
Comic Book: Actually, I’m sad because the only other artist in this competition is gone. She used such beautiful watercolours that brought Mr Clinko’s droll hallways to life! And I never even got to say hi to her…
Flamingo Plush: Bah, it’s no biggie. If her boyfriend back there is true to his word, then you’ll have a huge party’s worth of time to say hi and exchange paintings and… Pencils and stuff. Anyway, none of that stops you from making your own art, which… May I?
Comic Book reaches into his superhero backpack and passes his sketchbook, showing pages of a comic detailing the 1st challenge.
Flamingo Plush: Hmm, not bad! Really coming along, there! The story’s kinda lame, though. Feels like every Saturday morning cartoon ever. I think you should add some heavier themes, know what I mean?
Comic Book: Uh…Yeah! Yeah, I do! Thanks, FP!
Flamingo Plush: No problem. I’m the LEADER. I lead y’all to VICTORY. Isn’t that right, Keychain?
Flamingo Plush takes a peek at the seat behind her to find Keychain has dozed off with his face inside his book.
Flamingo Plush: Lazy butt.
Pearly: Why’s she calling us “class”?
C: Well, your majesty, I’ve been doing a bit of snooping around, and apparently she used to be a school bus driver when one day she was driving a bunch of kids and-
Ms Lizzle: Cla-ass~! Keep it quiet back there! I know the field trip’s gone a bit longer than normal, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T BEHAVE YOURSELVES! Ha ha ha ha!~
Brown Kind Of Flower: Uh… As he was saying-
Pearly: N-no, I don’t think I want to hear it anymore.
Brown Kind Of Flower: Whatever.
NG peeks out the window to look at a big fat load of nothing.
Neon Grassy: Ug! How long has it been?! If I used my powers to open up a Spacial Rend, we’d be here in no time!
C: You mean the powers you don’t have?
Neon Grassy: Excuse me?
C: Well, y’know, if you really had these fire and water and lightning forms you keep talking, wouldn’t they’ve come in handy every challenge ago?
Neon Grassy: Yeah?
C: And why haven’t you used any up to now?
Neon Grassy: I forgot to.
The moonstones give unconvinced stares at NG.
C: You… Forgot?
Neon Grassy. Yeah. I forgot. It happens. Kind of like how Pearly’s body forgot he has hay fever.
Pearly is staring at a field of flowers through an open window.
Pearly: I am? OH NO, I AM! AAH... AAAAAHHH… Hey, I’m not sneezing. I can actually breathe! What kind of breakfast was that?
C: As I was saying, it sounds pretty dippity dang hard to “forget” you have the ability to do all this crazy stuff for months on end.
Neon Grassy: Hey, once you’ve been where I’ve been, this “crazy stuff” that my powers are don’t seem that crazy! You wanna go to Mars and see for yourself?!
C: Okay, don’t get your quarks in a cluster. Look, if you really have these powers, how’s about you show us? Get us to that airport!
Neon Grassy: Alright. Prepare to get your socks rocked off!
NG cracks his joints, then prepares to gather his energy as his quarks begin spinning faster and faster. He reaches his arms out-
Ms Lizzle: We’re here, class! Everyone out! Welcome to the Pendleberry Airport!
The contestants look out to see a massive airport behind a sea of parked cars, with objects and animals looking like tiny ants moving through the many-windowed floors. Plane after plane zoomed through the skies, some narrowly avoiding crashing into each other. Some don’t.
Neon Grassy: Wh-what?
C: Well, lucky you. You get to keep your reputation intact another day.
Neon Grassy: Grrrrr…
Brown Kind of Flower: Hey, future handbag, there’s probably more to why Clinko doesn’t visit airports, isn’t there? How do we know this place is safe?
Ms Lizzle:Trust me! You’re guaranteed the Clinko promise of safety! Have fun, now!
The contestants choke on the black soot left behind by the bus as it rumbles off.
Keychain: *COUGH* *COUGH* Okay, this is becoming new levels of unbearable. Let’s get in before Clinko decides to sell our organs or something.
No sooner do the contestants arrive at inspection, they are confronted and surrounded by a circle of airport security bats. The automatic sliding doors slam shut, as an important-looking bat with large ears marches towards the confused group.
Townsend: CBT contestants, you are under arrest for property damage, murder and other counts of misconduct.
Maybe: Oh, great. The cops.
Brown Kind of Flower: “Clinko promise of safety”, huh?
Townsend: Airport security, actually. But it doesn’t matter who we are! These senseless acts of destruction are coming to an end!
Flamingo Plush puffs up her chest and shoves Townsend.
Flamingo Plush: Ex-CUSE me, bloodsucker. As mayor of Gayland, I think you’ll find I’m-
Townsend retaliates with a kick to the jaw, knocking her back. Beehive tries to tend to her, but FP brushes her off in an attempt to preserve her pride.
Townsend: And I think YOU’LL find that not only do you have no jurisdiction here, Gayland has been under a new government for weeks now.
Flamingo Plush: WHAT?! How can this-
A pink lightbulb goes off in FP’s head.
Flamingo Plush: God damn it, Feathery…
Comic Book: B-but how can this be? We’re the heroes here! Heroes don’t end up in prison!
Townsend: Tell that to the hundreds of workers you’ve unemployed with your assassination of Alexis.
Comic Book: No…
Neon Grassy: Look, pal. We don’t want to cause any trouble, but I’ll have to defend my team if you come any closer.
C: Oh, right. You’re going to defend us.
Townsend: Cuff the green one.
Neon Grassy’s molecules start to rapidly rotate once again.
Neon Grassy: Alright, fellas! I warned you! Let’s see how you like my Aquamorph abilit-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Neon Grassy twitches and screams as a guard’s taser unleashes its payload of 50 000 volts. The jade molecules stop spinning on their rings, allowing a team to dislodge both rings and place the molecules in a biohazard bag.
Neon Grassy: Wait, no! Put those back! PLEASE! I’M BEGGING YOU!
NG’s pleas are ignored as the rings and molecules are locked away. The vibrant tuft of grass suddenly loses his green hue and flops to the ground, overcome by lethargy.
Neon Grassy: Y’don know whaa ya dea’in wi..
C: Alright, that’s it. We’ve wasted enough time here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUqUSe25na4
C firmly plants his feet on the ground. He takes a deep, powerful breath, before going into a crab stance.
C: Hoo-wah!
C lunges forward at Townsend and administers a crushing pinch to his neck, disabling his nervous system and throwing him unconscious. The surrounding guards are not spared from C’s wrath either, as the whirling scarlet apparition fires pinch after pinch, striking every pressure point with deadly precision.
Flamingo Plush: Uh… Escape? Now? I feel like I don’t even have to say it.
The Atomic Reapers scuttle away from the kill zone, barely dodging a few stray pinches.
Beehive: We should.. Go too?
Yoylebook: Well, if that ain’t a rip-snorting good idea! Let’s go, team!
Beehive: Wait! Don’t-
C: STAGE…5….
The surroundings turn red and the paralysed security float into the air as C’s attack transitions to a category 5 pinch cyclone. Yoylebook’s foolish attempt to escape awards him with several vise-like pinches before getting sent back with a flick.
Beehive: Are you okay, Yoylebook?!
Yoylebook: Ooohh… This be jus’ like the time daddy ran over me with the tractor…
The powerful winds cause Paper Lantern to lose her balance and begin flying off, when Cat Bell leaps into the air and drags her back down.
Paper Lantern: 哎喲! Your claw dig into my skin! …But thank you!
Yoylebook: This be like one o’ them summer tornados! Everyone head to the middle while holdin’ on to something heavy!
The warriors and the reapers grab on to Neon Grassy’s tufts as Townsend regains consciousness.
Pearly: Wow! How were you able to fly? Oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean… You’re not…
Neon Grassy: Mmph…
Maybe: Hey, uh, C. Maybe you should stop pinching, stupid.
C: CAN’T… STOP… MUST TRANSITION TO CATEGORY 6 PINCH HURRICANE…
==Back at the warehouse==
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx_LA9OUdVE
Clinko: Ah, thank GOLD that all got sorted out. I swear, if my company didn’t have to employ a raffle ticket-opening branch just to make ends meet, I wouldn’t put up with these idiots for a day.
Clinko steps into his office and hops into his private jacuzzi.
Clinko: Bye bye, responsibilities. Now it’s just me and Mr Caliente for the day.
The door swings open as a panicked looking-chicken barges in.
Cameron: CLINKO! SIR! (Ow, bee stings!) Something terrible has happened at the airport!
Clinko: Hm. Looks like no one heard me the first time. *ahem* Bye bye, responsibilities. Now it’s just me and-
Cameron abruptly puts a security tape on Clinko’s plasma TV and displays the CBT crew getting arrested.
Clinko: Ohhh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no nooooo….
Clinko rubs his temples vicariously in an attempt to quell his increasing stress.
Cameron: We’re gonna have to do something, sir. That means cancelling jacuzzi time or this company is kaput.
Clinko: Okay, okay, let’s break this down. Shut up. Firstly, HOW? The airport had NO indication we’d come here, especially with how we distracted the press by exposing some mildly racist comments Turk made 3 years ago.
Cameron: Well, we’ve had reports of an insider leaking our super-illegal biz to all security forces. We’ve mounted an investigation, but-
Clinko: Say no more. Okay, just- get a team of our toughest guys out there and rescue those idiots so that one of them can get my package. Priority: Cornsilk. Find that mole ASAP and piss off.
Cameron: Alright, no need to get snippy about it. Something you could get snippy about is how I have to remind you of your meeting at 2:00.
Clinko starts getting as steamed as Mr Caliente.
Clinko: GRRRAAAAAAGH-
==Turbulence at the airport==
Nearby surrounding start shifting as C’s pinchnado becomes seemingly unstoppable.
Pearly: I don’t want to die here!
Maybe: First time, huh? Don’t worry, it’ll be over in a pinch.
In one last desperate maneuver, Townsend scatters his papers into the pinchnado, causing it to abruptly end.
C: Ow! Son of a-OW! Got a pretty painful papercut here!
C puts his finger to his beak, the former of which has begun to bleed blue.
Townsend: Alright. Now that that’s over, you’re all coming with-
The unmistakeable sound of a Clinko Sleepnade is thrown. As the gas disperses, a group of masked figures abduct the Mega Moonstones, leaving the warriors and security to doze off. The Moonstones are soon met with a rude awakening, mostly involving copious amounts of slapping. The only exception is Pearly, who is instead awoken with gentle smelling salts. Surrounding them are a flock of chickens equipped with black riot gear.
Carpus C.: Wake up. Wake up, idiots.
C: Ow! Stop slapping! I need medical aid! My finger is mutilated! It’s disfigured! I may never be able to pinch again-
Carpus slaps a bandaid on C’s finger and his wing on C’s face.
Neon Grassy: Ugh… Carpus? I thought you worked in… Logistics, or something…
Carpus C.: Well, fatso, Clinko made me double up on jobs to pay off my bail when I- Wait, why am I telling you this?!
Maybe: Maybe you could instead tell us why the company’s suddenly treating Pearly like royalty.
Carpus C.: Can’t. Confidential business. What I can tell you is that you’ve got about 5 hours to get Clinko’s package before the airport incinerates it with the rest of unclaimed luggage. Also, that reminds me. Pearly! It’s time for your Clinko Industries-provided Smart Shottm.
Pearly obediently lays out his arm to Carpus, who jabs a needle into his arm.
Carpus C: What th-?
Carpus stares in shock as the needle visibly pokes through Pearly’s underarm.
Pearly: Oh, don’t worry, this is normal. Actually, this is better than normal! Most needles I get just go right through the skin!
A queasy Carpus struggles to pull the needle out of the lumpy oatmeal-like texture of Pearly’s arm, before giving it a hard tug to pluck it out.
Carpus C: Look, just head to the baggage reclaim ASAP and get out of here without causing too much noise. Clinko does not want any more attention here, and you’ve all been enough of a pain today. So please; get the package, get out of here and never speak of this again.
The black ops chickens rise up into the ceiling with grappling hooks.
Pearly: Wait! Which way’s the baggage reclaim?
C: Ugh, forget it. They’re gone…
Neon Grassy: Help… I can’t move…
Maybe: What now? I mean, we could just lay here and wait for the heat death of the universe, but I’m guessing you guys probably want to do something more “productive”.
Neon Grassy: Well… Nnng… There don’t seem to be any maps here.
Pearly: Wait! It might not matter anyway… I have an idea. Could I…?
C: Oh, this’ll be good. Alright, humor us.
Pearly: W-well, The Reapers and Warriors will also probably head to the reclaim area to look for baggage, right?
Neon Grassy: Maybe…?
Maybe: Yeah, what he said.
Pearly: I was thinking: What if we one-upped them? Instead of waiting for the luggage to arrive from the plane, we head to the plane itself! Clinko’s own plane!
C: Yeah? Which drug in your $500 breakfast made you come up with that one? How do you know Clinko stuck his face on a plane here?
Pearly: Well, I remember the creepy lizard lady said stuff about Clinko wanting to keep his involvement in the airport a secret. I don’t think a single package needs to be kept a secret, no? That’s why I think there’s more here than we thought!
Neon Grassy: But how do you know Clinko has a private plane here?
Pearly: Well… I… I don’t know for sure, but it would make sense! Clinko would want to take measures to make sure his stuff doesn’t end up in the hands of rivals! And-and you remember the planes that destroyed our dorms? That at least shows Clinko Industries has planes in stock!
Neon Grassy: Wow. You’re a lot chattier and smarter sounding than usual today.
C: Yeah, well, do you have a plan on how to find this hypothetical plane, P-brain?
Pearly: Easy. We take a bus and ask to be taken to any hangars with purple on them! As cautious as Clinko is, his natural arrogance and pride will ensure he’ll leave an obvious clue!
C: Woah, okay, Captain Ersass. Thanks for the pseudoscience and all, but aren’t you forgetting the hypothetical part of your plan?
Maybe: Do you have a better plan?
C: Do YOU?!
Maybe: HA… Have you forgotten who you’re talking to, here?
C: Agh, let’s just- get this over with.
C nonchalantly smashes the viewing window and carefully makes his way down as to not further injure his arm. Maybe hops down and immediately regrets his decision thanks to some broken glass in his feet, and Pearly leaps down with Neon Grassy, surprisingly unharmed. By the time the security arrives, the only evidence of their presence is a broken window.
Townsend: Find them. NOW.
Bat: The other teams, sir?
Townsend turns to the Gentle Warriors.
Townsend: Take these four to the detention center. The 3rd team will be dealt with a small squad, but the main focus is on those with outside help.
Bat: Hey, uh, sir. Shouldn’t we wait until police backup arrives?
Townsend: You kidding? Those adrenaline junkies will probably kill more civilians than any episode of CBT. I think it’s about time we show the world the power of airport security.
==Inside Pendleberry Airport detainment==
The Gentle Warriors are all crammed into a tiny cell, manned by a tough-looking guard bat with a pig’s nose.
Beehive: Excuse me, Mr, um…
???: Kitti.
Beehive: Mr Kitti, do you think you could let us go? Please?
Kitti: No. Can not free criminals. Criminals stay in jail forever.
Beehive: Oh, well, okay… Sorry for bothering you.
Cat Bell: *Tsk* Okay Gentle Warriors, group huddle.
The Warriors do their best to huddle up, which proves rather difficult when considering their backsides were touching the wall while just standing up straight.
Cat Bell: Beehive, if you’re going to be leader, you’re going to have to be a bit more assertive. But don’t be too assertive, I’m not a fan of taking orders-
Paper Lantern: I think Cat Bell means you have to be firm.
Beehive: I’m sorry! I just don’t like being mean to others!
Paper Lantern: No, you don’t have to be mean, you just need to be decisive! Um, try speak with him, while us creating plan!
Beehive: I’ll… Try.
Though unconfident of her chances, Beehive checks the room and finds a framed photo of an elderly bat.
Beehive: That’s a nice photo you have there.
Kitti: Must. Is most I can have of mother.
Beehive: Your mother? Oh no… I’m sorry to hear she passed away.
Kitti: No. Still alive. But I might as well be. To her.
Beehive: What do you mean?
Kitti: Failed college. Wanted to become scholar. Can’t tell her news. Heart will be broken.
Beehive: Oh, Kitti… I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’d be breaking her heart more by not coming back.
Kitti: What.
Paper Lantern: Ok, we having diversion. What now?
Cat Bell: Some of those tiles on the roof look loose. If you give me a boost, maybe I can climb up to ambush the guard.
Paper Lantern: Bad idea. What if asbestos is existing?
Cat Bell: Bah, I’ll be quick. Anyway, asbestos doesn’t immediately kill, does it?
Paper Lantern: YOU WILL NOT GOING UP! What you think, Yoylebook?
Yoylebook is seen creating a miniature vegetable patch with the cell’s collective grime. He pauses, then drops some bone-white seeds into his new garden.
Cat Bell: Okay, I’ll bite. What are you doing?
Yoylebook: Jus’ a sec…
Yoylebook carefully moves the patch towards a beam of sunlight seeping from a crack in the roof, then waters the patch with a nearby tap.
Yoylebook: There we go! Now, in 2-5 days, these here Woodwind seeds’ll grow into some mighty fine trumpets! Then I’ll impress the guard with my awesome trumpet skills, and then he’ll let us out!
Paper Lantern: Brass.
Yoylebook: ‘Scuse me?
Beehive: You mustn’t forget how much you truly mean to your family. They won’t care about your position in life. They just want to see their baby bat again.
Kitti: I…I…
Paper Lantern: Trumpets be brass instrument. Not Woodwind.
Yoylebook: PFFT. Don’t be silly, PL! Who here ever heard of a BRASS tree? What, what would it grow? My ma’s vases?!
Yoylebook loudly gaffaws as PL rolls her eyes.
Cat Bell: Come on. Let’s go with my plan, which WON’T take 2-5 days.
Yoylebook: Aw, I see the problem now. Look away, everyone! I’ll use my special trick to make it grow immediately!
PL looks away, but Cat Bell, victim of her instinctual nature, takes a slight peek.
Beehive: Do you see, now? I can give you an idea of the conversation, if you like.
Kitti: No need. I will leave. Take day off. Reunite with mom and dad at last. Thank you-
A sound best described as a screeching animal blasts from the jail cell. The shock causes the guard to get a slight heart attack and pass out.
Yoylebook: What? But I haven’t even started playin’ yet!
Cat Bell: I cannot unsee what I just saw.
Yoylebook reaches over and grabs the keys from the body, and frees his team.
Paper Lantern: Yes! Good working, team! Especial you, Beehive!
Beehive: That poor soul… Hold on, please…
Beehive quickly adjusts the guard to a more comfortable position, and places the photo nearby as a reminder. She then escapes with the rest of her team.
==On the other side of the airport==
The Atomic Reapers shuffle their way absentmindedly through the busy taxi zone with the same energy as a horde of zombies gone vegan. Aware that the bats are after them, they have each disguised themselves with ambiguously genuine bat skin suits from a souvenir shop.
Brown Kind Of Flower: Stupid Clinko. Thinks he can walk all over us with his gross chicken feet. First, he makes us slog to his warehouse at midnight, and now he leaves us to get beat up by airport security!
Keychain: I mean, he technically can. I wouldn’t be surprised if today’s “breakfast” hid explosives that go off if we leave the town.
Flamingo Plush: Or chemicals that release those, uh… Those nice chemicals in your brain whenever you buy his junk. What are they called again?
Keychain: Endorphins.
Flamingo Plush: Thanks, Nerd.
Keychain silently rolls his eyes.
Comic Book: Hey guys, that bat-man was kidding earlier, right? We’re not actually responsible for all those crimes we committed?
Keychain: Well, yeah, probably. Clinko likely did an awful job at a cover-
Flamingo Plush forcefully places a wing on Keychain’s mouth.
Flamingo Plush: Of COURSE not, CB! That guard’s probably just stupid like Keychain. Just stay with us and you’ll remain the best superhero of Pendleberry!
Milkshake: Hey Fp, can’t you, like, use that auto-tracker thingie from last episode?
Flamingo Plush: No good. I downloaded the new update, and now I have to pay $49.99 a month for the service.
Keychain: Why didn’t you read the terms and conditions?
Flamingo Plush: NO ONE READS THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS, KEYCHAIN.
Flamingo Plush, resignated, turns back to her Auto tracker’s home menu.
Milkshake: At least you got a half-decent tablet out of the deal.
Brown Kind Of Flower: Yeah, great. I’m sure that’s our key out this funk.
Upon registering BKOF’s nasally mouth-words, Flamingo Plush’s brain suddenly pumps out dozens of foolproof schemes, until one rises above the others and out her mouth.
Flamingo Plush: AN APP.
The Atomic Reapers stop and stare at her in confusion. Flamingo Plush takes notice and spits out her current train of thought.
Flamingo Plush: VOTING…MONEY…OUR DORM ROOMS… THE PACKAGE! LET’S DO IT! Grabs BKOF’s shirt NOW!
Brown Kind Of Flower: Hey! Easy on the shirt! I only have the one!
Milkshake: Do… What now?
Keychain: Start again and think before you say each word.
FP glares at Keychain as if he threw up on her carpet, then takes a deep breath.
Flamingo Plush: Milkshake, dis- uh, talk to Comic Book for a bit. We’ll fill you in later.
As FP gives a wink, Milkshake shrugs and moves to the read-walking Comic Book while Flamingo Plush ushers the Reapers forward.
==The Gentle Warriors’ trek==
Keeping a wary eye, the Gentle Warriors make their way through the busy airport terminals, making sure to appear extra unordinary when a squad of guards runs by.
Yoylebook: Ooh! Beehive! Look! Those objects and animals are movin’ by themselves!
Beehive: They are, Yoylebook! They’re riding on moving walkways!
Yoylebook: Looks like a lot of fun! Can we ride it?
Beehive giggles.
Beehive: Well, they’re normally there to help travellers carry luggage, but I guess there’s no harm for us to try it ourselves!
Yoylebook: YAY!
The Gentle Warriors step on the autowalk, and take the opportunity to relax and enjoy the view outside.
Paper Lantern: Hm.
Cat Bell: What is it, Paper Lantern?
Paper Lantern: This airport is change from most me know. Airplane Terminal free for most, true?
Cat Bell: Yeah?
Paper Lantern: Well, look! Terminals look belonging to different company each!
Cat Bell looks to her left and indeed notices every terminal appears to be owned by various corporations and companies, some not even from Pendleberry. Each terminal is drastically different from each other in terms of design, extending even to the planes behind them, being specially customised to represent their parent company. The only similarity the terminals share appear to be some sort of checkpoint for credentials.
Cat Bell: Huh, you’re right. Marvin’s Motors, Ink rollers United, あなたが愚かな翻訳者であるクールな響きの名前, Moleonith-
Paper Lantern: I am a little sad, there is no culture left here. It is like watch TV commercial.
Cat Bell: Yeah, pretty bleak. *YAWN* And boring. I’m gonna take a little catnap.
Interface: Hello, friends! Can I call you friends? You seem cool enough to be friends. Can I interest you in some prime-quality aircraft fuel to support the GIANT MECHA act? I know there’s been rumors that we’re on the verge of bankruptcy, but… So are you interested?
Beehive: Don’t you… Need that?
Interface Headset: Oh, don’t worry, idi…Friends! We’ve taken precise measures to ensure we have just enough fuel to last from here back to our headquarters! So, are you interested? Please say you’re interested…
Yoylebook: By the mushrooms growin’ on pa, Things are that bad? Well, I can’t just stand by and not help!
Beehive: Yoylebook, no!
Beehive’s cries are in vain as Yoylebook jumps over the barriers. He spits on his hands in preparation, then digs one of the tiles clean off the ground with a mighty heave. Yoylebook then continues by opening himself up and taking a small bag of seeds from his crusty, well-worn pages.
Yoylebook: Be a good girl and help this lady out, will ya?
Yoylebook gives the seed a tender kiss, throws it in the hole, and takes a step back. Paper Lantern floats over to try and stop him, but gets socked in the face by a tree as the seed rapidly sprouts, and gets entangled by its branches.
Yoylebook: Just mix 2 of this Petroleum Plantation’s fruit into a smoothie for 2 hours, and you’ll have a blender-full of petrol! Easy as pie! Oh dear, is that you, Paper Lamp?
Interface Headset: Th-thank you?
Paper Lantern: 幫幫我！Let me out rid of this thing!
Cat Bell: Mrrrm, You just woke me from my nap! Fine, but you owe me!
Cat Bell bounces off the autowalk onto to the tree, using her sharp claws to scale the papery bark and secure Paper Lantern. However, Cat Bell freezes up when she accidently looks down.
Cat Bell: Who-whoa… We’re so high! Like, so so high!
Cat Bell’s tail becomes all bushy as she balls up towards the edge of the tree.
Paper Lantern: It okay! Just use me like parachute and-
Cat Bell: BEEHIVE! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLP! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!
Paper Lantern: SHH! You meow will attract security!
Beehive takes the long way around the moving walkway, then positions herself under the tree.
Beehive: Okay, jump! I’ll catch you!
Cat Bell: But what if you miss me?! What if I hurt you?!
Beehive: I promise I’ll catch you, no matter what! Now, jump!
Cat Bell hesitates a while, before flinging herself off the tree with her eyes shut tight. She lands right into Beehive’s arms and unintentionally sinks her claws into her, causing mild agitation amongst the bees, but nothing else.
Cat Bell: I’m alive? Oh, THANK YOU, Beehive! I take back what I thought! You’re the best leader ever!
Beehive: Say, am I hearing you purring?
Cat Bell: Uh, n-no!
Cat Bell quickly jumps off Beehive’s arms.
Cat Bell: We should probably hide somewhere after Yoylebook’s little stunt. C’mon! I found a place while I was up there! I think you’re gonna like it, PL!
Paper Lantern spits out a branch and floats down.
Paper Lantern: I hope it can fixing my holes…
The Warriors follow CB, Yoylebook more bashfully so.
Interface Headset: Thank you, weird saviours!
==Meanwhile==
Milkshake awkwardly scoots towards Comic Book, whom is desperately leafing through a well-worn comic, as if he was searching for answers.
Milkshake: Soo… Like, what’re you up to?
Comic Book: I don’t know what to think anymore. Were we the villains all along? I always thought Clinko used actors and props and… Stuff. This is just like when the hero… Thinks a lot, and realises he used to think he was the good guy but is actually the bad guy!
Strawberry: Roll with it.
Milkshake: Ngh…You mean, like, a heel realisation?
Comic Book: Uh… Yeah, that! Aw man, this might be worse than when I realised Clinko was evil all along! Since when does the main hero have to fight a bad guy who used to be friends with them?
Milkshake: The betrayal trope?
Comic Book: Oh, yeah. Hey, you know a lot about superheroes! Do you read them? Who’s your favourite hero?
Strawberry: On second thought, explain.
Milkshake: Whoa, uh, I don’t actually read comics. I’m more into, like, teen romance.
Comic Book: Wait, really? How can you enjoy a story if it’s just a block of text?
Milkshake: Well, uh, that is a good question. I mean, uh, I really do like the relatable stories of fighting and conquering rivals to get to a boy’s heart… But, I do sorta have trouble reading, so I have to sometimes make up my own story. It do be like that, you know?
Comic Book: Yeah… Hey, wait, don’t graphic novels exist? Like, ones with kissing?
Milkshake: Wait, there are?
Strawberry: Verify his claim.
Milkshake whips out her phone and researches with the finest data plan a spoiled teen can buy.
Milkshake: OMG, they do! Oh, I’m like, so stupid! I made up all these dumb stories from words I understood, when I could’ve actually read the dang things! Awww….
Comic Book: Hey… Those stories you made up… Did you like making them?
Milkshake: I guess so. Why?
Comic Book: What if we, like, made our own graphic novel? I could draw the pictures and you can write the story so you can add betrayal and shoe realisations and stuff like that.
Strawberry: Decline and press on for more information.
Milkshake: Um… Are you sure? I feel like the stories I like are different to yours.
Comic Book: Nonsense! Teen romances are just superhero stories with kissing and no superpowers! And we can always fix that later.
Strawberry: Decline.
Milkshake: Well, uh… Oh. Maybe you’re right! Yeah, I like, like that idea! Where should we, like, start?
Comic Book: Well, I had started something involving a superhero team battling 2 bad guy teams…
Milkshake continues her “distraction” as the rest of the reapers are still huddled up.
Brown Kind Of Flower: So what’s this exciting idea you almost ruined my wardrobe for?
Flamingo Plush: It’s no secret Clinko Industries is on the brink of collapse, right? Even though it’s got workers to spare, it needs good press to stay afloat. I was thinking… We develop an app where people vote on Clinko’s financial decisions!
Brown Kind Of Flower: Yeah? And?
Flamingo Plush: And then we give them some sob story about losing our dorm rooms, winning the hearts of the people and forcing Clinko to give them back! It’s genius! Pure, unfiltered GENIUS!
Keychain: Well, maybe we should do a bit of filtering, since I see a few lumps floating in your plan there.
Flamingo Plush: Careful what you say next if you don’t want some lumps yourself.
Keychain: Your idea’s good, yes, but we need to take a bunch of things into consideration when making an app. The first and most important one is: Does anyone here even know how to code?
Brown Kind of Flower: Yo. Check THESE babies out.
Brown Kind of Flower reveals his incredibly muscular fingers.
Keychain: EURGH!! Uh, sorry. That kinda slipped out.
Keychain awkwardly coughs.
Keychain: So, uh… Why is the… Meat… On your fingers so bloated?
BKOF “flexes” his fingers, looking unreasonably proud.
Brown Kind of Flower: Coding competition of ’07. They said I couldn’t finish first with a 26-hour disadvantage! Well, look where we are now! Ring-pull tabs cower before the might of these gladiators!
Flamingo Plush: Alright, you’re the coder. What else?
Keychain: We also need a sales and marketing specialist. Someone to calculate the statistics of the app, and make sure sales are running smoothly.
Flamingo Plush: Ugh, I hate math.
Keychain: Don’t worry, this is my field of expertise. After all, I did come… hrmm… Second place in the tri-state high school Mathletics…
Flamingo Plush: Ha! I remember that! You should’ve seen your little crybaby face when Key Ring kicked your flat butt into-
Keychain: THE COLLATZ CONJECTURE IS A DEVICE OF TORTURE INVENTED BY PSYCHOPATHS WHO DIVIDE BY ZERO.
Keychain looks at FP’s smug face and the rest of his confused and slightly concerned team.
Keychain: Sorry about that. Again. You, uh, listened to a little repressed childhood rage, there….
Flamingo Plush: What’s next, Silver medal?
Keychain: We’ll need someone who can do graphic design. I think Comic Book’s the right Object for the job, here. He told me he’s been trying to move to webcomics, so that’ll make good practice for him.
BKOF, Keychain, and FP look back to see Milkshake and CB swapping notes and coming up with ideas
Strawberry: That’s enough. Cease. Stop talking.
Brown Kind Of Flower: Guess we’ve got 2 designers.
Keychain: Finally, we need a name and test audience. We can probably find an audience as we go along, but for the name-
Flamingo Plush: Alright, we’ll follow your little scheme. But I’M still the leader here! So what I say goes! Okay, BKOF, get working on that code.
FP tosses the auto-tracker to BKOF.
Flamingo Plush: Keynerd, go whip up a few porkies to get Comic Book working.
Keychain: One more thing-
Flamingo Plush: GRRRRRRRR-
Keychain: There’s still the challenge we need to do. Remember? The package?
Flamingo Plush: Oh, that. No problem! We’ll just post a question asking if anyone has seen any Clinko products go through the baggage carousels. We’ll make one for each carousel, and then wait until we get a vote for “yes”!
Keychain: But- it doesn’t-
Flamingo Plush: Ah-ah-ah-
Keychain: Okay, sure…
==At the runway==
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQWW84jsLtI
Townsend: Attention. We have 4 fugitives escaping on the runway. All personnel are to apprehend them with whatever means necessary.
C: That’s not good.
Maybe: Geez… Maybe we should find that bus or something, so we can cover up the mess y’all made.
C: I… YOU… Hmph. Watch and learn.
A nearby apron bus draws close, which C takes advantage of by standing in front and forcing the bus to stop. The driver instinctually opens the 4 doors, which each Moonstone climbs or crawls up.
C: Alright, EVERYONE OUT! We’re robbing this vehicle!
Pearly: WHAT?!
C: Don’t get cold feet now.
The terrified passengers rush out the back exit, trampling Neon Grassy into a grey blob.
C: You too, Tubenose! Unless you wanna get pinched!
The driver does not take kindly to this and attacks C, blindsiding him with his wings and disorientating him with echolocation. Dazed, confused, C attempts to attack with a squirrel grip. The driver counters and discombobulates.
C: Hey, uh, this guy’s actually pretty strong! Little help?!
Maybe: I’m busy right now. Shoo.
Maybe is looting the shiny coins and valuables left behind by the former passengers. Neon Grassy, weak as he may be, crawls painfully slowly to the front, while Pearly cowers in fear.
C: PEARLY! HELP!
Pearly: But… I…
C: NOW!
Pearly swings wildly, punching C and the driver out the supposedly bulletproof glass window.
C: Ow.
Tubenose: Townsend, sir! Then fugitives are here! They’re-
C quickly pinches the driver until his vocal cords are paralyzed.
Pearly: O-oh my. Maybe, could you please help get C inside?
Maybe grunts with a vague intent, while Neon Grassy crawls to the front seat.
Pearly: Grassy? Are you okay?
Neon Grassy: Been better… Scoot over so I can drive. Even if I’m seeing double, I think I could-
Pearly: No! I can drive!
Neon Grassy: Wuh..?
Pearly: Sorry! It’s just… I feel like I can help my team for once! Is… That okay with you?
Neon Grassy: Uh… Sure? Just be careful, okay?
Neon Grassy shuffles to a nearby seat. Pearly is taken aback by himself. Not only was he volunteering to drive for the first time in his life, but he was also looking forward to it. Something about it was making him tingle inside. Maybe was a lot less excited, however, and shuts the doors after poking his head out.
C: OPEN THE DOOR, YOU INDOLENT IDIOT! THERE’S MORE THAN ENOUGH SEATS!
Maybe: Well, thing is, I like to put my feet up. Plus, you’re kinda, like, far? We’ll get you tomorrow.
Maybe turns to the front seats.
Maybe: Aight, we got everyone. Let’s boogie.
The bus screeches away, its thick chassis scraping against the asphalt. C curses an ancient crab slur, then gets on his feet and scuttles at superspeed as a squad of police airport security cars begin giving chase to the runaway bus. After failing to catch up, C spots an airstair across the corner of his eye.
Pearly: Okay! C-L-I-N-K-O… Nothing… C-O-N-K…. Nope….
Neon Grassy: Pearly! Cop cars are catching up!
Security Bat: Airport Security cars, you moron!
Pearly: Should we…Pull over??
Neon Grassy: I mean… The rest of us can’t do much, Pearly. It’s up to you.
Pearly: …For the team.
Pearly violently swerves and knocks car after car spiraling away and catching fire on the nature strip. A very stupid fuel truck driver suddenly drives by and attempts to stop them by forming a roadblock with his vehicle.
Pearly: It’s for the team… It’s for the team…
Pearly’s smart-shot-enhanced intellect allows him to make the precise movements needed to drift and collide with the truck like a bat to a baseball and send the fuel truck flying at just the right angle to where another squad of security cars is heading. The cars and truck all explode in a glorious fireball.
Maybe: Ok, that was actually kinda cool.
Neon Grassy: All RIGHT, Pearly!
Pearly: Th…Anks…
==A few miles away==
C: Huff…Puff… You know, I bet if they’d pursued chemistry, they could’ve done great things. Win a Nobel prize, discover a cure for whiteleg, make vita-gummies taste like a 5-star meal… But instead, this “Inventor” thought this world needed, in this exact spot, an ESCALATOR AIRSTAIR THAT GOES DOWN! Ugh…
Instead of the majestic leap he was hoping to pull off, C’s lack of stamina makes him weakly tumble on the bus’s roof. He checks the window, then proceeds to open a hole by reverse-pinching the roof, then crashes down onto Maybe, splattering purple clay all over the seat.
C: Huh. Is it me, or are these bus seats always sticky nowadays?
Pearly: Oh, there you are, C! I was worried we left you behind!
C: …
C: You’re lucky my anger is currently targeted towards someone else.
Maybe’s amorphous form chomps down on C’s “wounded” arm.
C: YEOWTCH! MY AAAARM!
Maybe’s mouth: Ooh, that looks bad. You should be more careful where you sit.
C: I gotta put disinfectant on this! It’ll swell! It’ll get infected! A HIDEOUS GREEN POX WILL SPREAD ACROSS MY BODY!
Neon Grassy: Guys, look! I can see the hangar!
C: How can you tell?
NG points to an ordinary hangar of ordinary size and ordinary shape, and an extraordinary purple hue.
C: …That doesn’t prove anything.
Neon Grassy: Drive, Pearly!
As Clinko’s hangar draws closer, the bus is stopped in some strange security in the form of a brigade of de-icing vehicles. The trucks spray their scalding mist of hot water and propylene glycol, boiling the ground to the point where the bus’s tires melt and fuse to the runway floor.
Pearly: It’s… It’s STUCK! I… I think we’ll have to go on foot!
Maybe gathers his clay bits and molds himself back to his original form.
Maybe: Screw that, you got us into this mess. Why don’t we take one of those nearby forklifts instead?
Pearly: I… I don’t think it’s very safe. Aren’t those only designed for 1 person?
Neon Grassy: We should try anyway! Look! The hangar’s sealed off, so we’ll need something like the forklift’s forks to create an opening!
Maybe: What, you’re a, a skeleton, or something?
C: What the crusty crab are you saying.
Maybe: Duh, skeletons are cowards ‘cause they always hide behind a suit of skin. Are you dense?
C: They’ll never find your body.
Neon Grassy: Don’t worry! You’ve been a BEAST in this challenge so far! I know you’ll nail the landing!
Pearly: Yeah… Yeah, you’re right! Everyone hold on!
Holding on tight to his comrades, Pearly makes a powerful leap towards a nearby yellow forklift, accidentally knocking over the driver. The team of 4 get into their positions, with Pearly taking the wheel, Maybe resting on the forks, and C sitting on the roof tying NG’s arms to a supporting pillar. Before he can protest. Pearly accidentally slams on the gas and sends the forklift hurtling to their destination.
C: Alright! Now we’re FINALLY making progress, after millennia of stagnation!
Maybe: Yeah, nothing could possibly go wrong now.
The Moonstones stiffly turn their heads to the clay lump.
C: Why… Would you… Say that?? Now something will go wrong!
Maybe: Uh, no. I was saying it ironically. That means nothing will actually go wrong.
Townsend, having long since damaged his wings beyond repair, hops aboard a glider and sails towards the forklift, knocking C, NG, and Maybe to the side of the forklift and wrestling with Pearly over the controls.
Maybe: Tsk… Sounds like one of you thought it unironically.
As C and Neon Grassy try to give Maybe an asphalt facial, Townsend uses his trusty taser to stun Pearly and pin him down.
Townsend: GIVE UP! Before you cause any more casualties!
Pearly: NO! I haven’t killed anyone!
Townsend: Tell that to that squad you just killed! Some of them had families, you know!
Pearly: No…
Townsend: What?
Pearly: It’s… For the good… OF THE TEAM!
Pearly, still failing to grasp his strength, punches Townsend out of the forklift and sends him crashing into the airport.
Pearly: Oops.
Still dumbfounded by what happened, the young Pearl momentarily forgets to break and punctures the forklift’s teeth clean through the gate.
Pearly: OH NO!
C: No, this is good! We’ll force it open this way! Make the forklift’s teeth rise like a predator about to chomp down!
Pearly complies, and wedges open a hole big enough for the 4 to crawl inside and see what’s inside.
C: That is the butt-ugliest plane I’ve ever seen.
Maybe: Can it even fly?
Pearly: No time! Look! The security’s coming!
The Moonstones very carefully climb on the emaciated jet, almost tipping it over. Despite its rickety exterior, the interior appears specially designed to leech as much money off of passengers as possible, with coin-operated toilets, utilitarian lockers storing individually barcoded peanuts, slot machine oxygen masks that dispense random amounts of oxygen.
C: Good to see Clinko’s still got his priorities straight.
The services given aren’t much impressive, either, with First class seats resembling typical business class seats, business class resembling economy class, and economy class resembling an open-topped rollercoaster ride. The Moonstones disregard this and head to the pilot seat.
Neon Grassy: Pearly… Do you know how to fly a plane?
Pearly sets Neon Grassy down and flicks through a manual weighing more than he does.
Pearly: I do now!
Pearly starts up the plane with the efficiency of a grizzled veteran.
Clinko Plane: Welcome to the Clinko “Firebeak” commercial aircraft. Please insert payment for takeoff.
Pearly searches the plane, hoping to find a source of money. C gives him a small purple purse, which Pearly vomits its contents into the coin slot.
Maybe: Dude! That was my gambling money!
Pearly: Oh no! But it’s…We needed it to take off!
C: Eh, you were going to lose it anyway.
Maybe: No… I WASN’T.
A small crack forms on Maybe’s forehead.
Neon Grassy: Hey, are you oka-WOAH!
The plane suddenly takes off in a steep incline, causing NG to tumble down the plane.
C: Level it out, Pearly! LEVEL IT OUT! We’re gonna crash into the airport!
Pearly: Urgh! I’M TRYING!
Pearly lifts the yoke to the side as best he can, up, but doesn’t make it all the way and clips a section of the airport, losing the landing gear and causing a rather large part of the airport to collapse.
Maybe: Woop. Looks like you’re a murderer now.
Pearly: Wh-what? No! Maybe it didn’t collapse on anyone! Right, C?
C: Incoming!
No sooner had the plane gone level, had the Moonstones discovered a new threat. Drifting before them were thousands of corporate planes, staring the 4 down like an angry swarm of wasps.
Pearly: Hold on, planes can’t hover in place, right? Are they flying backward, or-
Loudspeaker: Hear me, fugitives. I am the air traffic controller of this airport, and I order you to land the plane immediately and turn yourselves in. If you do not comply, these planes will be instructed to shoot towards you until there is nothing left.
Pearly: Th-this looks pretty bad. Maybe we should do what he says.
C: Yeah, you’re right. Maybe we can get the package later.
Maybe: Oh, so you think you’re hot stuff, aren’t you? You and your little speaker, standing from your big, tall tower that totally isn’t compensating for anything.
C: Maybe. What in the name of Cancer’s 5 stars are you doing?
Maybe: Pearly isn’t scared of you and your little fighter jet collection. He can finish whatever useless diploma you took in a day, and lift all that emotional baggage you’re probably carrying with your bare hands! He’ll eat you for breakfast, no, a snack! That’s how little you are to him!
Pearly: Please don’t involve me in this…
Loudspeaker: TIME’S UP!
C: Well! I guess the next order of business is to have my corpse give you the most painful death possible as we crash down and get unspeakably disfigured.
Maybe: Relaaax. You can see the pilots in those planes. They’re not gonna be stupid enough to follow a flight path that directly smashes into us.
A pack of planes suddenly lurch forward to ram the Firebeak, narrowly missing thanks to Pearly. The planes then begin looping back around to regroup, as the remaining planes out front begin advancing.
C: Alright, smartass. Please, I beg you. I implore you. What magical plan do you have for this scenario?!
Maybe: Chill, algae-breath. Big Brain Pearly over here’s got some complex 360 tacticool maneuvers to save us.
Pearly: Well, um… Yeah! What if we, um… Just…
C: No.
Pearly: Uhh… (Wow, were there always so many buttons?)
C: Do not tell me that miracle super-juice has worn off now that we need it most.
Pearly: N-no, I can still help! I can still help the team!
Pearly struggles to lift the flight manual and struggles even more with trying to read it.
Pearly: Uh… Let’s see, here… “Tune the al… The al-ti-me-ter…” Okay, so it’s a dial! Oh gosh, there are like 6 different dials here… Uh, is it this one?
C: THIS TEAM…! SUCH STUPID DUMB-! CAN’T EVEN…CAN’T GET MORE INCOMPETANT…GGRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGHH!
Maybe: Geez, chill out. It’s not like you didn’t get us in trouble either. Didn’t Pearly, like, suggest we take a bus instead of robbing it?
Hot steam starts seeping from C’s pores.
C: WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU, YOU HELIOTROPE HORROR?! YOU’VE BEEN DEAD WEIGHT ON THIS TEAM SINCE DAY ONE! AS IN: CEMENT SHOES WEIGHING US DOWN TO OUR DEATHS!
Pearly: Guys! What d-do we do?!
C: F-Fly the plane, you IDIOT!
Pearly: But… I can’t! I’m starting to break down in hives from all this exposure to rubber!
Before C can process this reply, the whole aircraft shakes as the base is battered by Boeings, the stabilizer slashed by Saabs, the aileron attacked by airbuses, the turbines torn up by Tupolev, and the elevator exterminated by Embraer E-jets. Luckily, there are so many planes striking the Firebeak, it is able to stay in the air like a metallic hacky-sack.
C: The…Plane…Fly…The… PLANE!
Pearly: I feel sick….
The ludicrous turbulence proves too much for Pearly, and he is forced to grab a bag and eject his breakfast.
C: Wait… WAIT! Eat it again!
Pearly: WHAT?!
C: Eat it again! Maybe the medication will reset… Or something, I don’t know! JUST DO IT BEFORE WE DIE!
Maybe: Eh, I don’t want to see that grossness. Move over.
C: You-you’re gonna fly it? Yeah, okay. Schadenfreude isn’t the worst emotion to die with.
Using very minimal movements, Maybe tilts the plane ever-so-slightly as to dodge the incoming planes and make them crash into each other. C makes a noise like a crab choking on a coconut.
C: Wah… Wueugh… Wöööööh. *Ahem* WHY DIDN’T YOU FLY THIS THING EARLIER?!
Maybe: Uh, because someone else volunteered? You’re welcome by the way.
C: GOD, you’re infuriating!
Maybe: And you think you and your crabbiness aren’t? The only reason I’m not screaming my head off like you is that I actually have some self-contro-
Pearly: PLANE!
Maybe checks the cockpit to see a plane veering straight towards them. Maybe instinctually slams down on the largest one, an orange one with fire imagery. The Clinko plane’s hideously deformed beak begins sounding off a sickly hum, as the protective grille glows red hot. The plane fares much worse, however, as the extreme heat causes it to melt completely into soup.
Maybe: Ah. That’s why it’s called the Firebeak.
C: A giant space heater, huh? Not the weirdest I’ve seen from Clinko, but still weird. Why is that there?
Pearly looks through the manual.
Pearly: Apparently it was built in to sabotage nearby planes? Oh, dear…
C: Maybe. I’m going to be as civil as I can for this like you suggested. Why are we dropping?
Maybe: The molten metal probably hardened and is gumming up the turbines.
C: Oh, okay, that-WHAT?!
Pearly: Wait! Where’s Neon Grassy?
C: WHO KNOWS?! Probably being as useless as he’s been this whole challenge!
Maybe: He probably wanted to get away from your stanky algae halitosis. Seriously, man, you REEK!
That was all C needed to lose his temper and lunge at Maybe, his primal crustacean instincts taking charge Throughout all this, Neon Grassy is lying in the intersection between first and business class as loose as a ragdoll, his colour-drained body dotted with bruises from the earlier turbulence.
Neon Grassy: Why am I so useless? I’ve been relying so much on my rings to get around, I didn’t think about the possibility of losing them Why… Why am I so pathetic without my rings?
Neon Grassy smacks his face in a wall of cabinets as the plane veers downward.
Neon Grassy: Owwww… I just wish there was something I could do
A shrill ring emanates from a nearby wall-mounted phone.
Neon Grassy: I guess I could answer the phone.
Despite being weighed down by his listless torso, NG manages to make a big leap with his arms, and grab hold of the phone. A creepy, almost extra-terrestrial-sounding voice comes out the other end.
???: Hello, Neon Grassy. Be a dear and continue pretending you’re on the phone, won’t you?
Neon Grassy: Uhh…
Neon Grassy’s “Uhh”ing is suddenly cut off, as he feels his vocal cords close off completely.
???: Apologies. I simply cannot afford mistakes at this stage. How about I get right to the point: You’ve lost the rings and atoms that gave you superpowers, have you not?
After some silent rasps formed in an attempt to voice his opinion, NG is compelled to speak through his mind.
Neon Grassy (Thinking): What do you want from me?! Whatever it is, you better make it quick, because I’m going to die very soon, here!
???: Such a harsh tone, dear boy. Well, if you insist that I get to the point, then I shall. You see, a little bird has informed me that you’ve lost the electrons that allow levitation and the rest of your supposedly existing powers. Am I right?
Neon Grassy (Thinking): They DO exist!
???: Of course, they do. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that… Bad things will happen if you do not get them back, yes? And we’re not just talking about your elimination…
Neon Grassy suddenly has what feels like a flashforward to the future. There, is trapped in zero gravity in space right on top of the earth, able to breathe, but unable to move even a little. Suddenly, a giant, shimmering silver cosmic entity drifts to Neon Grassy’s position, as the surroundings grow thick with sodium.
Sodium Organism: Catalyst 10. You have failed to properly sustain your sector of the universe.
Neon Grassy: Wait! No! Why?! What have I done wrong?!
Sodium Organism: You have allowed your molecules of creation to fall into the hands of these… Lesser beings… And have disrupted the flow of life as a result. There is but one way to rectify this without further upsetting the natural balance.
Neon Grassy can only watch helplessly as the Earth, alongside the entire solar system he has come to call home is obliterated into a soft, silvery-white, highly reactive metal. After the explosion subsides, NG’s missing molecules gravitate lazily toward him, almost mocking him.
Sodium Organism: Failure will not be tolerated any further. You will now be assigned a new system, and a tertiary failure will result in your deletion as well. Understood?
Neon Grassy’s imagine spot is cut short by a sudden increase in temperature.
Pearly: Guys, please stop fighting! The plane is melting and everything’s on fire!
Maybe: Who cares?! We’re all gonna die anyway. I might as well teach this freak of nature a thing or two while I’m at it!
???: Looks like time’s running out. But what if I told you I could give these molecules back to you? For a price, of course.
Neon Grassy (Thinking): Are you kidding?! You don’t know what you’re dealing with! This is much, MUCH bigger than some stupid TV show! Please, if you really do have them, just GIVE THEM BACK!
???: I just need you to complete one simple task…
Neon Grassy (Thinking): What? WHAT?!
???: KILL CLINKO.
Neon Grassy (Thinking): …What?
Category:Transcripts