Squidward Vs A Wall

Squidward Vs A Wall is the fourth episode of season three, and the forty-fourth episode overall of Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by FireMatch, and the original idea was by .
==Plot==
When Squidward gets to have a dinner date at Fancier!, he notices a giant wall in front of the building, and tries to figure out how to get in.
==Synopsis==
Squidward is in his bedroom, playing jazzy music while he is under his covers.
“Oh this is nice,” he says, with the camera still above the covers. “This is the good stuff. This is the LIFE!”
The camera finally goes to Squidward, who is simply scratching his back with an automatic backscratcher.
“This is truly amazing,” he says. However, the backscratcher then starts malfunctioning and starts scraping his back instead.
“OW OW OW OW OW!” he yelps, and quickly turns the machine off. “That was a bust. I guess my Sunday isn’t going great after all.”
Just then, Squidward gets a phone call. He picks up his phone to answer it.
“Hello? Misery residence of Squidward here,” he answers.
“Oh hey Squidward! It’s me, Mary, and I was wondering if you’d be okay with having a dinner date with me at the Fancier place, tonight at 7,” she says.
“A dinner date? This Sunday just got a whole lot better. Of course!” Squidward answers eagerly. “But wait.. I thought we were done for.”
“Well, we definitely were at first, but then my good-for-nothing boyfriend told me that he was having a foursome. A FOURSOME! Can you believe that?”
“Sounds like there’s a little too much love in the air there. Too bad for him. Anyway, see you tonight.”
“Great! See you then!” She then hangs up.
Squidward then gets up and dances, humming to a Kelpy G song. Good 4 U by Olivia Rodrigo then suddenly starts playing.
“What? No! Bad DanceBot, bad!”
Squidward reaches up for the ceiling, where it turns out the light in his bedroom is actually a dancing robot. He presses a button on the bottom to turn it off.
“Why would anyone listen to that stupid girl? I hear her on the radio all the time! Anyway, it’s time for a good ol’ bubble bath. That’ll get me all cleaned up for the big date tonight.”
Squidward then heads into the restroom, humming the same Kelpy G song from before, and turns on the water in the bathtub.
“A few minutes later…” the French narrator says.
Squidward is soaking his body into the bathtub with his shower cap on. Soothing music is playing nearby on a small speaker.
“Ahhh…” Squidward sighs as he relaxes even more. “I should probably get ready soon.”
Squidward hops out of the shower, with bubbles censoring his crotch. He dries himself off with a towel, and the music stops. The bathroom’s robot grabs his nose and starts wringing it out like a towel, making Squidward scream. Squidward beats up the robot, breaking it into pieces.
“Don’t you EVER do that again!” he yells at the robot, then goes into his bedroom closet to put on some formal attire. “Perfect. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.”
As Squidward is putting on his clothes, he gets a notification from his phone.
“Must be her texting me to make sure I’ll come.” Squidward chuckles. “Oh, her.”
He then reads the notification to see it’s a news headline: “FANCIER RESTAURANT PUTS UP WALL IN WORKERS PROTEST”.
“Uh oh.” Squidward then shrugs it off. “I’m sure it’ll be fiiiine. I’ll be able to get in fine and dandy.”
Cut to Squidward seeing a gigantic gray brick wall surrounding the entirety of Fancier’s exterior.
“So much for fine and dandy,” he says to himself.
A literal bomb is seen thrown at the wall, which detonates violently, but does not do anything to the wall.
“Drats!” someone says.
“That’s one tough wall,” Squidward says. “How did this even happen, anyway?”
“Well, it seems that the employees who work here have an abusive work environment or something, so they're putting up this wall in protest. It’s pretty effective too, absolutely nobody has been able to get in so far,” the person answers.
“Wow. Just… wow. And I’m supposed to have my dinner date here in half an hour!”
“Tough luck, dude. You better hope she has a backup plan.”
“Backup plan, schmackup plan. I, Squidward Q. Tentacles, solemnly swear that I will make it inside there tonight!”
“Good luck then, dude. I mean it.”
The person then leaves, looking defeated and concerned.
“Now let’s see here… if I were a wall, what would be my weakness?” Squidward starts pondering the answer to this question.
Cut to Squidward throwing grenades at the wall, and covering his ears every time one blows up.
“Something tells me this isn’t working…” he says.
“MY LEG!” Fred says off-screen.
“Whoops, sorry about that,” Squidward says.
“Good thing insurance is universal here,” Fred says.
Squidward looks at the camera and says “The United States of America needs universal healthcare.”
“What?” Fred says in confusion.
“N-nothing. Now… I’m stumped.”
“Well don’t just stand there, do something!” a bystander yells.
“Why aren’t you doing anything?!” Squidward yells back.
“I’m out of ideas. I’ve tried dynamite, grenades, C4’s, the such.”
Squidward then gets an idea as he leaves the scene. He soon comes back with a giant bulldozer.
“Oh my gosh, why didn’t I think of that?” the bystander says.
“Because you have barnacles for brains!” Squidward yells as he starts pushing the dozer against the wall. However, it does absolutely nothing except break the bulldozer. “DRATS!”
“Look who’s laughing now?”
“Nobody’s laughing! I have a date to get to!”
The bystander then laughs so hard that he starts coughing. “Heheh, sorry.”
“It’s not funny! Alright, that’s it!”
Squidward yells like an anime character and starts punching the wall out of insanity. Obviously, nothing happens to the wall.
“Neptune, how strong is this wall?”
Just then, Phil Swift comes out of nowhere with a giant wrecking ball.
“CAN’T BE STRONGER THAN FLEX TAPE!” he yells out, and the wrecking ball hits the wall, not knocking it down, but instead sending him to the ground. “Okay, maybe it is stronger than Flex Tape…”
Phil Swift then passes out, causing everyone to panic.
“That was a weird advertisement,” Squidward remarks. “Didn’t do squat to the wall though.”
Another bystander then gets another idea. “Hey, wait! You know who has all the equipment in the world?”
Another bystander pipes in. “The mayor of Fancyland?”
“No!” the original bystander answers. “I mean probably, but I was thinking about someone else. Elon Musk. He’s one of the richest men ever!”
Squidward laughs directly in his face. “You really think Elon Musk is going to help US? You’re delusional!”
“I am NOT delusional! Watch!”
The bystander then dials a number on his phone and it picks up. “Hello? Mr. Musk? No, of course that’s your name. Can you come help us take down this wall? It’s really important. Uh-huh. Love you too. Bye.” He then hangs up.
“That is not Elon Musk, that’s your wife,” someone tells him.
“Shh! If we just believe, maybe my wife will turn into Elon Musk!”
“I have no words.”
Just then, a shiny Tesla pulls up to the scene. Everyone anticipates who it could be.
“Wow, maybe you’re right. Maybe she did turn into Elon Musk!”
“Oh puh-lease. It’s all an act.” Squidward says.
Special effects and music play while the mysterious figure slowly walks out of the Tesla. It is…
“Wow,” someone says.
“Ooh,” another says.
“FOR NEPTUNE’S SAKE, THAT’S JUST YOUR WIFE!” Squidward shouts.
“At least I have one!” the woman’s husband retorts.
“I- fine. You win.”
Some of the bystanders start taking pictures of the guy’s wife, with others drooling.
“We surely live in a society…” Squidward says.
After everyone takes their pictures, everyone starts going insane. One bystander tries knocking down the wall with a sledgehammer, another tries to break it down by chewing on it, another uses a drill, and another uses a chainsaw.
“WAIT A SECOND!” Fred yells out. Everyone stops what they’re doing to look at him. “Why don’t we… just go around the wall?”
“Fred, are you stupid or really stupid?” Squidward asks him. “The wall goes around the entire building!”
“Then how about… we just go over it?”
Everyone starts thinking about this idea, and they start nodding in agreement. Bubble transition to someone hopping inside a plane, and they begin flying over the building, only for him to be shot down.
“What?! What happened?” Squidward says, dumbfounded.
A police officer nearby blows the smoke off of his gun. “A job well done. No seabirds around here on my watch.”
Squidward then looks at the camera again. “This is why we need to reform the police.”
The police officer then mistakes Squidward’s words for someone else’s, and beats them up off-screen. Everyone looks in pure horror and disbelief as he is dragged into a police car off-screen.
“Well… we’ve tried everything.” Squidward looks at his watch. “And my date is in- FIVE MINUTES?! We gotta find a way!”
“My guy, we’ve tried EVERYTHING! Explosives, going over the wall, bulldozers, we even tried getting Elon Musk here for crying out loud! It’s hopeless!”
Just then, the one guy’s wife from before starts taking her clothes off.
“OOH! GUYS, LET’S TAKE PICTURES!” a bystander yells out.
People start taking pictures, only to realize that the woman is actually…
“THE REAL ONE AND ONLY ELON MUSK?!” everyone shouts.
Several people are in disbelief, some pass out, and Squidward just has his entire jaw open on the ground.
“My my, peasants, it seems we’re in quite the predicament here. Weed smoke 420,” Elon Musk says, then clears his throat. “Excuse me, I was still in funny mode. I can take this wall down at once.”
Everyone then cheers.
“Now, on the count of three, I will use my Musky powers to destroy this wall once and for all!”
“One… TWO…. THREE!”
Elon Musk lightly taps on the wall and it completely falls apart.
“Wow! How did you do that?” Squidward asks him.
“A billionaire never reveals his secrets. Especially his tax evasions.”
Everyone looks at him confused.
“Ahem. Farewell, everyone. Hopefully next time I’m summoned here you guys have more net worth. I don’t quite like working with peasants.”
Elon Musk then gets back into his Tesla and speeds off. He immediately runs into a stop sign, and is beaten off-screen by a cop. Everyone laughs at him.
“That’s so Elon!” someone says.
“Forget about him, the wall’s gone!” Squidward says. “I have a hot date with a nice woman!”
Everyone rushes into Fancier, and the employees start screaming as they start scrambling to get back to work.
“I have a feeling it’s gonna be a wonderful night…” Squidward thinks to himself.
“Two awkward hours later…”
Squidward trudges back to his house, and slumps onto his bed.
“That went terribly. I didn’t know she didn’t like my clarinet playing…” he then sips some water he has on the end table. “And now she’s in a FIVESOME! A FIVESOME!” He sighs heavily. “At least I met Elon Musk…”
Cut to Elon Musk in his billion-dollar mansion up on the surface. He is sipping very expensive water as he chortles.
“Frankly, I was amused at all those peasants down under. It took me every bit of my body not to call them offensive names,” he says.
“Sir, I think you need therapy,” his butler tells him bluntly.
Elon Musk claps his hands twice, and the butler is ejected from the building. The episode ends.
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