Somnambulism

The following excerpts were taken from the diary of Tara Wiezman, 13, from the dates of 24th August 1983 - 7th September 1983.
24th August 1983 -
"Dear diary,
Doctor Haber says I am to stay in my room for a bit but mum's allowed to see me for a couple of hours a day. I'm sad about that, mostly cause I can't see Carol and Denise more often but he says I'll be able to see them soon.
Mum visited me today and she brought Mr. Maple with her. I was worried because I can't sleep without him next to me. She smiled when I showed her where I'd stitched his leg back on, but her eyes looked sad. I wonder if dad's okay."
25th August 1983 -
"Dear diary,
Today Doctor Haber introduced me to Doctor Sepp. I'm not so sure about his beard but he told me he wasn't so sure either. Doctor Sepp is a lot more funny than Doctor Haber but that might be because he wants to be my friend whilst Haber already is. Haber told me I had an operation in a weeks time but that I shouldn't be worried because everything was going to be alright. If it is in a week then it'll be on my birthday, which is a shame but I guess mum will get me a present for being brave, she always does."
26th August 1983 -
"Dear diary,
Dad's in the hospital too but they won't let me see him. It's so unfair. Mum's allowed to but not me. I asked her about it and said that dad is very sick so with me being ill as well it could be dangerous. But they've got those silly plastic suits on when they see him, yet not with me so I can't be that ill. Plus I could wear one to see him. But they still said no."
27th August 1983 -
"Dear diary,
I can hear lots of people moving outside the door now but they've put the blinds down so I can't see. Doesn't mean I can't hear them, tee hee. They keep saying weird words "try ester" or something. Oh and "see air ian". I don't understand it because I'm not a doctor but I guess they'll explain it soon.
I asked mum and she said she didn't know either but I think she's lying. She also kept looking at the door for some reason. It's weird here."
28th August 1983 -
"Dear diary,
Doctor Haber says that I am to now go to bed an hour earlier. I don't mind too much as there's nothing to do around here anyway. He also said I must always knock three times on the door if I want to leave during the night. That's a bit weird too. Mum came by but she wouldn't hug me good night and I heard her leave quickly when I went to bed. Have I upset her?"
29th August 1983 -
"Dear diary,
I had a bad stomach ache today, but I could feel it lower down as well. It felt like someone was scratching my tummy. Doctor Haber said it was just anxiety because of the operation but I'm not scared. Mum didn't come in today but I thought I heard her through the window. Doctor Sepp was talking to her I think.
Doctor Sepp talked to me again today and asked me to knock on the door four times when the pain was worst. I'm scared now. He seems to think the pain isn't gonna go away. Just before lunch today the pain got really bad and I could feel my head getting light. I struggled to the door and knocked four times. I don't remember much after that but woke up and two doctors in those silly plastic suits were shining lights into my eyes. One called for Doctor Sepp and he came in. He told me I did well and smiled at me but he stayed in the doorway rather than come and sit on my bed like Haber does.
I can't get to sleep but I think Sepp will come in and tell me off if I don't so I can't write much longer. The pain is very bad now and my head is quite light. I need some water."
30th August 1983 -
"My head is killing me today, but my stomach has stopped hurting. Doctor Haber told me that my dad was very ill and so was being taken to another hospital. After him, a police officer came in and talked to me about my dad. He told me he and his friends at a club of his had taken some pills or something and he asked whether I had taken any. I told him no. He then asked if dad had forced me to take any and that I shouldn't worry about telling him. I still told him no. He then asked something weird. He asked if dad had done anything with me. I asked what he meant by that and he looked scared. He said to tell him if he'd touched me or done anything sexual with me and I said no.
Doctor Haber came in later and told me that a group of nurses would have to check me in my private places tomorrow. I'm scared now. What has dad done? I can't sleep now thinking about it but Doctor Haber came in and gave me a glass of water and two sleeping tablets so hopefully I'll drift off soon."
31st August 1983 -
"Dear diary,
One day left before the surgery. I'm actually getting scared now. Why's everything so strange? Why are the police here? Why is Doctor Sepp insisting on these rules about my sleeping? What's going on?
Mum hasn't been to see me in days but I can hear her crying in the corridor. Doctor Sepp keeps saying that "whatever happens you'll still have a daughter". I've spent most of the day in bed today waiting."
1st September 1983 - No diary entry was made on this day due to Tara Wiezman being in surgery from the hours of 8:29 to 14:17.
2nd September 1983 -
"Dear diary,
The stomach pains have gone‼ My head still feels like but my tummy's better. There's a weird scar now on my stomach down to my private bits but so long as I wear a shirt it'll never be seen by people.
Doctor Haber says I have to stay in here for a couple of days to be checked on but I'll be free to leave soon. Mum came and saw me today. She was crying but still smiling and we hugged for hours. I'm so happy."
3rd September 1983 -
"Dear diary,
My head's been weird today. I keep getting spikes of pain in my forehead and several times my vision went blurry. I would have told Doctor Haber but I don't think that's a good idea, he'd probably not let me out. Doctor Sepp came in later today and said that the three knock rule is still in place. He's such a prick.
I don't know why I wrote that last bit, guess I was feeling angry at Doctor Sepp, but he's nice really. Anyway got to go to bed to have my dreams."
4th September 1983 -
"Dear diary,
Had a weird dream today. Dad and I were dancing on an island somewhere when dark clouds started to form above us. It rained for a couple of minutes but the water was warm. Dad tapped my shoulder and I looked at him and he was open mouthed drinking the rain. I laughed and copied him. The water splashed on my tongue then I woke up. I told mum about it and she looked worried. What's wrong?
Doctor Sepp came in today and said some stupid shit. Wasn't listening but nodded so he'd go away. Why won't they just let me out to see dad? And mum? What's going on with the police as well?
That Officer came back today and asked to look at my pupils. He shone a light in them and it hurts like shit but I kept them open for him. He looked concerned and sauntered out looking back at me as they closed the door. He smelt weird, like chicken. Got to go to sleep soon. Dreams are coming."
5th September 1983 -
"Dear diary,
The dreams hurt now. Whenever I'm in them my head hurts. Not like my head in the dream, like the dream is my head but it just hurts. I can't explain it but I'm glad I'm awake. This time we were in a weird cave and people were stuck to the walls as we floated past. Yes floated. They didn't look at us though as their eyes were closed. When we reached the end of the cave there was a little opening where dad floated into and opened his arms smiling at me. I woke up then to hear dad screaming.
The doctor's didn't get in here today. Maybe they're scared of me and the pain. So long as I can get out of this stinking place I'll be happy. I just drew and drew on the crappy paper they gave me. I kept thinking of weird words and writing them down: "trghy" "qrzuk" "volikrh" Don't know about them at all. Maybe dreams will tell me."
6th September 1983 -
"Dear diary,
Doctor Sepp said I can't leave. To be honest I'm glad because I think there's something wrong with me. The dream last night was nasty. It started off like the one before, but all the people were rotting and looking at me. Dad hugged me close but he then began to fade into the wall of the cave and I took his place in the hole. I was stuck there in the darkness with all those dead people, who smiled at me with rotten teeth and gums.
Get me out quick now. They might know, hell they do know."
7th September 1983 -
"Dear diary,
The door is bolted and chained shut today. I don't know what's happening, but the doctors haven't come in hours. I can't hear out of the glass either and neither dad nor mum have come to see me.
They think that I'm here, but I'm not. I'm probably already out there no..." - The diary entry ends here after Tara Wiezman was shot dead by Police Officer Jeremy Lionn.
Category:Diary/Journal
Category:Mental Illness