2013-02-24 The Barber of Sifville

A cool day in Manhattan but the skies are clear and blue with thick, fluffy looking clouds that float through the air which is still for the most part. Perhaps the occasional gentle breeze.
All of this changes once you reach a certain point on the highway and by the time you've reached that point, you can see the center of it all. A large, open field off to the side that's surrounded by trees on three sides. Above this field, the clouds are practically black and threatening to unload torrents of rain at any moment. A harsh wind whips around the area. A loud, angry thunder rumbles in the sky in warning.
In the center of the field is quite the sight. Thor and Sif seem to be locked in a heated battle. The Goddess brings her sword down towards Thor's shoulder only to have him deflect it with Mjolnir at the last moment. The sky crackles and lightning pierces it, striking down towards Sif just as the hammer is swung. The double attack is barely dodged. In her next attack, Sif is caught mid flip by her leg and sword arm and taken down. Mjolnir rests on her abdomen, Thor's knee pressed into her thigh. One of his hands pins her free arm down, the other grips the hilt of her sword over her own hand and pushes it towards her throat. "You months with mother made you soft, Lady Sif. Yield!" Thor all but sneers the Sword Maiden's title.
"Never!," is snarled back at him in return as the Lady of Blades tries to bring her leg up to hook around his waist and push him off. "Your time with these mortals has made you daft if you think I will yield to you, Prince!" His title isn't said in any friendlier a manner than her own was.
Travelling along said road near the wide open field the Aesir have claimed for sparring practice is one of thse very nice but understated looking Bentley cars. Driving is someone other than Happy, but certainly one of Stark's employees. Passenging are two women, one completely at ease in the seemingly expansive interior of the luxury car, the other possibly actually a bit cramped.
The driver offers a bit of a warning as they hit a strangely abrupt weather change and the traffic slows down accordingly. Looking up at this, Pepper glances out the window at their surroundings, her eyebrows drawing together as she studies the odd cloud formation centered over that open...
"Stop the car, David! Right now!" There's probably a note of panic in her tone that Caitlin has not heard before.
Even sliding low in the seat, having the front passenger seat slid as far foward as possible, Caitlin still has to hold herself down in the seat with one hand, just so that when they hit bumps that she doesn't end up making a dent or worse, an improptu sunroof. Caitlin tries to be casual, but Pepper's panic puts her on edge. Anything that makes Pepper concerned has to be very bad. Pepper deals with deities, crazed inventors, living legends, politicians, businessmen of the highest level, and people (well, defintely one person, at least) with egos that make those others look like the most modest and humble of saints... on a daily basis... sometimes more often.
Caitlin checks the tablet computer, comparing the gps app, the schedule, and the current time. She looks at Pepper, gulping, not wanting to mention that they're so far ahead of schedule to make the series of meetings in the Miskatonic Valley, Dunwich, New Hampshire... some brilliant students at a private school for gifted individuals, a financial wizkid, a clothing designer with some majore innovations, a emergency medical response exosuit creator who wants to confirm his work isn't too similar to anything Stark created and looking for help with patents and possible manufacturing contract for Stark Industries to produce them... so many more, and all dependent on not getting too delayed.
Looking to Pepper, Caitlin asks, "Is everything okay? We can afford about an hour and half... we're still okay for time." not wanting to tell Pepper what to do, since Pepper is the boss.
The sky remains dark and oppressive. A deep rumble of thunder is more felt in the chest than heard with the ear. In the field, Sif hooks her leg about Thor's waist and wrenches him off her hip. He tumbles to the side and up into a crouch, her sword in his hand, tip pointed at her and held at the ready... only for his stormy eyes to spot Sif pinned beneath his hammer. Thor laughs. It is not a seemingly kind laugh either. No. This laugh sounds nearly as dark as the sky and only marginally higher pitched than the thunder rumbling above them. The Thunderer straightens to his feet, and hefts the sword onto a shoulder as he seems to stroll toward his pinned opponent. Looming over Sif, Thor sweeps the deadly tip of the blade toward Sif's unprotected face and throat.
"Your submission or your life, Sif; Your choice," Thor offers with a note of finality to his voice as the storm clouds continue to swirl over head, the magic that summoned them slow to fade away naturally. On the ground, flat on her back, Sif glares up at Thor, hands futilely trying to push Mjolnir away. Her struggles cease as the sword tip comes so close to her face. Steely blue eyes narrow sharply.
"Strike if you can then," dares the Goddess, eyes back on Thor who sneers a dark frown, pulls the blade back, and then thrusts it forward to impale her face with the elegant Asgardian blade.
Pepper Potts is already moving to exit of the car by the time it's stopped at the side of the road, pushing the door open before the driver can even get out. Ignoring the wind kicking up around them, she rushes toward the open field, heedless of mud getting on her shoes or brambles snagging at the legs of her trousers.
"THOR!" Pepper shouts toward the two combatants as loud as she can once she's reached the barbed-wire fence delineating the boundaries of the chosen field. And she really hopes the Aesir prince can hear her
Ambling out of the car is harder for Caitlin, she sighs, "Well, at least we packed extra clothes." she leaves her heels in the car, stepping out in her stocking feet. She recently learned her lesson with a certain dragon. Sure, the heels are essentially weaponized footwear, and there is a crook in a park who learned that the hard way, but cleaning the expensive heels is too big a con, outweighing the pro of offensive capabilities, for Caitlin to risk them again... and hosiery is way easier to replace.
Moving up behind Pepper, Caitlin gulps, "Um, should I go help Lady Sif? I don't think I can lift the hammer, but I probably can restrain Thor long enough to talk some sense into him." which isn't actually an exaggeration. She places a hand on a fence post, ready to hop over it on Peppers say so, and maybe show Thor some proper respect for both how to treat a lady and that being male doesn't make him superior to women.
The blade slices down into the ground, a wet squelch sounding as Thor makes quick work of the downward stab. He leans into the motion, fully committing to the attack, all his weight into the strike and pushed forward to his leading foot. The blade comes up and away just as quickly as it went down. A thin line of crimson blood, the same color as the cloak that falls from shoulders to ankles, mars the edge of the blade. A drop flies from the blade as he back swings, ending with the sword blade held up and away from his victim who lays prone and helpless before him. His head turns to the side, glancing at Pepper over a shoulder at the sound of his name which was shouted the moment he stabbed downward with the blade. Lightning flickers in the Storm Lord's eyes, turning the blue grey depths into an eerie glimmering electric blue.
The blow is made... Sif's head falls off to the side, her entire body going still.
Pepper Potts glances up at Caitlin, then back toward the combative pair, Sif's head falling to one side deciding it for her. "Go, Caitlin." She waits for the taller woman to clear the fence before starting to try and get through the lines of wire herself. Hope snags and tears are in vogue right now.
The downward thrust of her hand to help her springing actually drives the fence post a few inches deeper as Caitlin clears the fence and breaks into a full run. There is no need to shout, Pepper already called attention to their presence, so it is doubtful that she can really be stealthy, her feet leaving tracks of her rush... When she gets relatively close, she leaps at Thor like a professional wrestler... hoping her tactic is sufficiently modern enough to take him by surprise, so she can do one of those fancy spinning head scissor takedowns, and maybe even set herself up for a few more moves no usually taught in Asgard. Snags are the least of Caitlin's worries, but her pencil skirt definitely has a long tear up the side of her right leg...
Thor has no idea. Granted, bullrushing is a favored tactic of jotuns and bilgesnipes, but a /mortal/ bullrushing him is completely new. Especially when said mortal is just as strong as he is. There's an oof given as Caitlin's shoulder... head drives into his side and the momentum hefts him from his feet. His right hand opens and Sif's sword drops to the ground next to the prone Goddess. The storm above is going to run amuck soon, since Thor's not actively keeping the low pressure from sweeping away from the area. Thor can sense it, and so, not bothering to protect himself from Caitlin past putting his forearm up to try to push some distance between them, Thor reaches out with his right hand to summon Mjolnir to his grasp.
"Thou knowest not of the affair in which thou doth meddle, Fair Childe," says Thor... probably right before Caitlin suplexes him into the grass that is.
For several minutes, Sif just lays there. She isn't even breathing. Not like she can move anyhow. What with Mjolnir sitting right -- Oh! It's gone. In a split second, she's on her feet.
Of course, the moment she stands, about ten strands of that midnight silk falls to the ground. Ice blue eyes follow the strands downwards and the Goddess just stares. "My hair..." The words don't even make it above a whisper at first. A few more seconds of staring before she snaps her eyes up at Thor, oblivious to the cut on her cheek and the blood running from it. "You cut. My hair!"
The sword is taken up as she stalks towards the God. "What the Hel is it with you, your brother and chopping off my hair!?"
Cait and Pepper are here? Thor's being attacked? News to the Goddess. She's got a bit of tunnel vision at the moment. "Damnit, Thor! You cut my hair!"
Pepper Potts is through the fence despite the driver's protests and running toward Caitlin and the Aesir just in time to see Sif stand and yell at Thor about her hair. Wait, what? Sif, the Lady of Blades, just quoted Vespa from Spaceballs? And that immediately after Thor apparently tried to kill her? She can't help it, she shouts in full Disapproval mode, "What's in /God's/ name is going on here?"
Suplexes are fine and dandy for getting a guy down, but to keep one down, you target their strongest area, and take it out of the game. In this intend, Caitlin targets the outstretched arm, not worrying if Thor catches the mighty Hammer of Worthiness, but instead going for a using her legs to scissors his neck while trying to pull his wrist into an armbar. The hammer can come to his hand, but if she can get her body behind the arm the hammer can't get atop her, and applying all her strength to his one arm will hopefully force the Thunderer to yield.
True, she doesn't know what affair she is meddling, be it an affair of the heart, where Thor is trying to get rid of Sif so he can be with Amora; if it be an affair of politics, where Odin has commanded his son to keep the female Asgardians in their places, tending to the male Asgardians needs and serving the warriors of Valhalla; or if it be an affair of the mind, where Loki has bewitched Thor into thinking Sif is Ulik or Skurge or Malik or some other Asgardian Villain; it really doesn't matter, because Caitlin isn't going to let Thor do it... wait... it is worse, Thor is having an affair of fashion faux pasry, he is giving Sif a bad haircut... whoever has manipulated Thor to do this must be truly evil. Either that, or Sif has the kind of luck with her hair that Caitlin has with clothing, but seriously, no one could be that unlucky... right?
(Odin's Beard! The mortal's strong!) Oo. Thor can't help but be shocked by the realization as Caitlin pins him and the proud Thunderer is forced to his knees with a slight yelp of surprise. (Yes, surprise. Beacuse like Hel is Thor going to admit that the mortal hurt him.) He keeps his grab on Mjolnir, eyes casting skyward and flickering with lightning and storms. Must... undo... the storm... safely! THe runes upon the hammer glow as Thor disspells the frightening weather affects... right up until Sif begins stalking toward him. Blue grey eyes flick to Sif and stay there, his cheeks seeming to pale. And now he seems to struggle with more earnest.
"It was... umm... Let go, Mortal," Thor stammers as he struggles futily in Caitlin's grip. Thor, Prince of Asgard, the Mighty Donar, afraid of nothing... is trying to scuttle away from the approaching Sif... because he knew what she wanted do to Loki! Sif is scary! Pepper, Caitlin, SAVE ME!
"Hold him," is ordered, a wicked gleam coming to Sif's eyes as she approaches the God and Caitlin. Once there, she reaches out, grabbing all of Thor's golden locks in her hand. Without a word, that sword is brought down and...*swish!*...Her hand pulls away, leaving Thor with a brand new hair cut.
Of course, then there's Pepper's question. The Goddess blink in confusion, arching a brow at Thor before turning to look at Pepper. "Which God?" It's a genuine question. "Thor tells tales far better than I but I can tell you if you wish...."
Pepper Potts looks from Thor -- restrained by Caitlin -- to Sif who just sliced off the man's hair. Her voice offers no forgiveness on any side as she all but barks at the Sword Maiden in a tone that could possibly be right at home with Frigga. "Sif, WHAT is going on here? Why are you two trying to kill each other?" Pepper looks frazzled and worried, her clothes definitely in a state of disrepair and several bits of her her hair pulled out of its previously tidy bun whipping past her face in the remains of the storm Thor just dissipated.
Just for good measure, Caitlin flexes her legs a bit, and archs her back just a bit more, to hint that being able to apply a greater portion of her strength on his wrist and elbow, and on his neck, would allow Caitlin to do some serious damage. She has no intention of popping his head off, nor breaking his arm, but just to send a message: Being Female, Being Mortal, being both, doesn't mean being weaker. She looks reluctantly between Pepper and Sif, maybe nervous that Thor's pride will demand he gets to do something nasty to Caitlin for this, so she is sort of in a damned if she does let go, damned if she doesn't let go, kind of situation, and really is worried if she should or shouldn't. Sure, Sif is the one that cut his hair, but then again, she was doing it because he cut her hair... and her flesh. Meanwhile, Caitlin is the one who made it possible for Sif to do that, Caitlin is the one who laid her hands (and thighs and calves) on Thor... and Caitlin is the one who is still holding him there, to get potentially further humiliated... she flexes again... maybe this time to send the message: When I let go, you better remember, I'm not weak, and I might do worse...
Thor grits his teeth as Sif collects up his hair and then lops it off. Grinding his molars is all he can do to keep from yelping as Caitlin makes it clear that she's a physical match for him. He'll relent for now, and he won't forget... until something shiny comes along. Mortals change so quickly.
Sif looks genuinely surprised. "Kill each other??"
The Goddess looks down at Thor then at Caitlin. "It's alright. You can let go now." And then she kneels down at Thor's side and kisses his cheek. "Be more precise in your thrusting and we won't have this problem next time, beloved."
She then looks back up at Pepper and stands, shaking her head and chuckling warmly. "You misunderstand, Lady Pepper. It was friendly sparring. Nothing more." That's it. They were bored.
Pepper Potts crosses her arms and looks at Sif with raised eyebrows, likely the same look that has made Tony apologize for anything and nothing just to get it to stop. "Yes, kill each other. That's what it looked like from the road." She gestures back to where her car and driver are waiting. "How could you two be so CARELESS? I know you chose this open space where there aren't trees or buildings to damage, but you /had/ to have seen the cars moving over there. What if someone like, I don't know, the Fantastic Four were to see you fighting out here? They'd understand even less than I do, and they might not be as polite about stopping it."
There is a long pause, Caitlin has been told by Sif, that she /can/ let go now... not that she should let go. It is an important distinction. Caitlin takes a deep breath, slowly considering her options, weighing them. Pepper didn't order her to let go, so maybe she should just keep teaching the Thunderer a lesson in gender equality, really let him know which is the weaker sex, and which is the more Fair. She twists her weight a bit, tightening her legs and arching her back as she bends a bit, then after a momentary pause, she releases and does a spinning kip up to her feet. She begins brushing the mud, grass, and what not off herself, looking down at Thor, "Hope I didn't damage your wrist and arm, just couldn't risk you being mind controlled or under some spell that made you hallucinate and decide to start throwing your hammer at Pepper, or myself, or some passing motorcylcist..." she smiles sheepishly and then looks to Pepper and Sif, but trying to avoid getting caught in Pepper's Penance Stare that can make Ghost Rider look like a rank amatuer.
Thor's struggles ceased the moment Sif took his hair. Thank Odin he's nothing like Samson! The kiss to the cheek earns Sif a slightly tense smile. What? This twisted arm is -not- comfortable, man!
"Aye, beloved," murmurs the Prince softly in reply to Sif's comment about precise thrusting. Caitlin's arm lock is perhaps the only thing that keeps Thor from making a slightly Fandralish retort. His eyes go then to Pepper as she Friggas out on Sif.. well, and himself. Thor frowns lightly. He wasn't being careless. That storm was tightly controlled, and he knew exactly how long he had without Mjolnir's direct influence on it before it would start to get out of hand. As for others being less than polite in stopping the sparring match... well, one that would be rude, two it would be very mortal of them, and three... sounds like fun; sign me up!
Still held in Caitlin's grip, however, Thor is unable to make a rebuttal to Pepper. Instead, he winces as she twists that lock a bit futher. Thor grinds down on his backteeth further in order to remain silent. Her spinning kicking release shoves Thor forward toward Sif (if she's still in kneeling in front of him or into the grass and mud if she moved). The Thunderer collects himself, moving to rise to his feet while the grey in his eyes glints to the warm silver lining of a cloud and the runes upon Mjolnir glitter with the same hue.
"Nay, Fair Childe. Thou did no harm that can not be quickly repaired. I commend thee for thine swift actions in seeking me disabled," Thor compliments with graceful ease and a warm smile at Caitlin. The light breeze pulls at his shorn locks and the smile is broken as he reaches up with his left hand to brush the now too short to stay in the tie... nevermind the fact that said tie is no longer -in- his hair, but rather is now in the tangled locks of hay-colored gold in Sif's hand.
It takes all Sif has not to actually flinch at that look from Pepper. "I assure that everything was under complete control. There was no danger to any of the vehicles passing by." A brow arches. "As for any who tried to intervene... Obviously, no one was in danger as you and Caitlin are unharmed." She didn't become a warrior by cowering or not standing up for herself under severe scrutiny!
A look is given to Thor as she sheathes her blade and he stands. Walking over to him, she reaches up to run her free hand through the new haircut. "Hmm." There's a quiet moment of consideration before, "Do you remember your reaction to the change in my hair, Thor...?" She let's it trail there before she smirks. "You drew blood, by the way." Does she actually sound proud of that!? Yep!
And then that gaze goes to Caitlin and she smiles. "Perfectly executed. I am impressed." She gives the girl a nod of acknowledgement before falling silent.
Pepper Potts looks from Sif to Thor and back consideringly, her initial anger and disapproval cooling off as she hears that both of them hold no hard feelings toward each other, not even about their hair. She makes a mental note to offer Thor a chance at a proper stylist to make the just-shorn locks look like it was intentional. "Well, if you're done ... sparring, I suppose Caitlin and I should be on our way."
There is a slight blush to Caitlin's cheeks. Her speed, skill, and efficient combat tactics being complimented by two Norse Deities is a pretty awesome acheivement. She moves to accompany Pepper, definitely wanting to walk away on an up note, and before Thor can change his mind about being bested by a mortal woman or Sif can decide she wants to spar with Caitlin. She brushes herself a bit more and sighs, "I think, with the storm clearing, the traffic appears to be clearing as well, and we didn't lose too much of our earliness. If we catch a couple breaks, we should have time to clean up and change, and still be able to sample the local cuisine before your meeting with Miss Rogers at her boutique, or if worst comes to worst, I can call Miss Goodkind while you are meeting with Celia Rogers, and see if she is willing to meet at one of the diners or the restaurant in Dunwich for a business dinner."
Thor too reacts to Pepper's tongue lashing. His back stiffens in a way usually reserved for his mother. If Pepper had a touch of the divine, what a Goddess she might make. When Sif runs a hand through his now much shorter hair, Thor smirks, that cocky, self-confident, pride-filled, princely smirk of his. His reaction to her hair, huh? He sure does. Took quite the self-control and all but ignoring her for days to keep from causing a true scandel in the Palace by pressing Sif against a wall and... ahem. His eyes flit to that cut on her cheek and he brings up a hand to gently brush away a drop of blood with a thumb.
"I did at that," Thor replies giving Sif a nod. He too seems proud to have scored a 'kill' shot on the Goddess of War. And with a blade no less. He stopped practicing with blades when his father gifted him Mjolnir. At Pepper's comment of leave taking, and Caitling commenting upon the clearer weather, Thor just smiles but -unlike a few months ago - the Storm Lord refrains from offering to /keep/ it that way. Must not meddle with Jord's Climate. She tends to get pissy if you do it too often.
See? Not only are there no hard feelings but they're right back to those shows of affection that confuses so many. Sif can't help but grin at him when he smirks. What? She likes that smirk! ...It grows on you after a while...
Turning back to Pepper and Caitlin, the Goddess bows her head. "Perhaps, when you both have time, you will join us in our home for dinner. We apologize if any undue concern or stress was put upon you." It's just... Their way. Why do you think Asgard is nothing more than a floating island these days? These two have had /thousands/ of years to play there!
Pepper Potts looks at Caitlin and nods to the younger woman's suggestions about salvaging their schedule then looks at Thor and Sif again. she can tell they likely understood her concerns, and /hopefully/ they'll think about it next time. In the meantime, she makes another mental note to see where the Fantastic Four got their exercise facilities. If they have a place where the Thing can throw stuff about and not wreck the countryside, there's no reason why Tony can't (and won't very soon) have better.
At Sif's offer of dinner she smiles politely and nods. "I would very much like that. I can bring dessert." It's not an apology for the misunderstanding, but it's something. "We'd best be on our way. Be careful out here, all right?" With another nod to Caitlin, and unless either of the Aesir warriors speak up, she'll head back to where the driver is waiting uneasily for them.
While Pepper's idea about a exercise facility is something Caitlin could definitely get behind, the mention of Sif and Thor's home just makes Caitlin think of the last time she was there, and the men she face there. In both instances that come to Caitlin's mind, the mess here just makes her think how both of those encounters could have totally destroyed the apartment before Sif returned to it. Would Sif be concerned that Caitlin wouldn't need to ask where the bathroom is, or knows exactly where the bottle openers are stashed away? She follows Pepper, deciding that now is not the time or the place to inquire, and also decides she should refrain from pouring proverbial salt into the possible wounded pride of the Pride of All Asgard, with a comment about how she had fun beating him.
"Aye! Dinner! It would be an pleasure and an honor to serve you both, Lady Pepper and the Fair Childe," Thor addes boisterously. When Pepper agrees, the Prince smiles as happily as a child on Christmas morning might, eyes shiny brightly, once more back to their typical lightly grayed blue hue. The gleam of Mjolnir's runes now faded.
"As thou doth command," states Thor, giving Pepper a bow at the waist, arm sweeping away from himself. How very courtly and princely and chivalrous of the Norse Diety as Pepper asks that the pair be 'careful out there'. Out where, is the question, however. Sif might be the only person here to know for sure whether Thor's being a smart-ass or completely serious with Pepper.
"At your convenience then," Sif murmurs with a bow of her head. "We look forward to seeing you both." Her head lifts and a surprised look is shot at Thor's manners before she looks back at the ladies. Slowly, a smile curves her lips. Following her Prince's lead, Sif dips into as much of a bowed curtsey as she can in her arm and dips her head. "Of course, Lady Pepper." Whatever Sif caught from Thor has a whole new tone of honor and respect layering Sif's words as she addresses the mortal woman.
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