Scene of the Crime/Rasputin's "Justice Goal"

(Later, Wiggum's group drove Cloud's group to the Acme Factory in their car and once they parked, they exited and started to walk towards the factory entrance when Wiggum's group noticed Cloud's group looking at Toon Town's silhouette on the other side of a brick wall next to the factory)
Wiggum: What's the matter?
(Cloud's group snapped out of their staring contest)
Cloud: Sorry.
Vincent: It's just that we've never been to Toon Town in a long time.
(Suddenly, Yosemite Sam shot out screaming a bit from behind the brick wall like a rocket, his rear smoking in flames. Upon landing on the ground, Sam started to run around, shouting and smacking his burning rear)
Sam: My biscuits are burning! Fire in the hatch! Ow!! Ooohh!! Eee!! Great horned toads, that smarts!
(Then he spots a nearby water puddle and doused his rear into it, putting the flames out and letting out some smoke from it, much to his relief. Then the group resumed business)
Santino: Come on, Eddie. Let's get this over with... [The two men walk into the Acme Factory. Santino speaks to the cop on guard at the door...] He's with me.
[They are met with the sight of a body in the middle of the warehouse floor. On it's head is a very large safe.]
Santino: Just like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head. Sorry, Eddie. Ahem. Better wait here, alright?
Policeman #1: Hey, Chishold. Get a load of this!
Policeman #2: [Holding up a black disk] Seen one of these?
[He throws it on a wall, it morphs into a hole and he puts his hand through it.]
Policemen: Ha ha ha ha.
Detective: Hey, Guys!
[Valiant turns to see a detective holding a mallet. From it springs a boxing glove on the end of a retractable arm. This narrowly misses Valiant twice, knocking down piles of boxes behind him.]
Detective: Didn't you used to be Eddie Valiant? Or did you change your name to Jack Daniels? Ha ha ha.
Valiant: [To a man picking yellow paint from the rope attached to the safe.] What's that?
Man: Paint from the rabbit's glove.
Jessica: Mr. Valiant.
[Valiant turns to see Jessica and he runs his eyes over her body. She, however, spanks him hard across the face.]
Jessica: I hope you're proud of yourself and those pictures you took! [storms out.]
[As Acme's body is being carried away on a stretcher, the men carrying it bump into one of the many piles of boxes and one bursts open to release pairs of toon shoes and boots of dress shoes, boots, ballet flats, sneakers and slippers. In the ensuing confusion to get the boots back into the box Acmes body is bumped into and his arm drops out from under the sheet and something falls from his hand. Valiant sees this and he bends down to pick it up. As his hand closes around it, a walking stick jabs painfully into his hand.]
Valiant: Ow!
[He looks up to see a man named Judge Doom, dressed all in black with a black hat and orange tinted glasses. His skin is a deathly grey color.]
Doom: Is this man removing evidence from the scene of a crime?
Santino: Er, no, Judge Doom. Uh, Valiant here was just picking it up for ya. Weren't you, Eddie?
Doom: Hand it over.
Valiant: Sure.
[Valiant grasps Doom's hand and there is a buzzing sound and Dooms body goes rigid. Doom takes the hand buzzer.]
Valiant: His number one seller.
Doom: [An artificial smile momentarily adorns Doom's face.] I see working for a toon has rubbed off on you.
Valiant: I wasn't working for a toon. I was working for R.K. Maroon.
Doom: Yes. We talked to Mr. Maroon. He told us the rabbit became quite agitated when you showed him the pictures. The rabbit said one way or another, he and his wife were going to be happy. Is that true?
Valiant: Pal, do I look like a stenographer?
Santino: Shut your yap, Eddie. The man's in charge.
Doom: That's alright, lieutenant. From the smell of him, I'd say it was the booze talking. No matter. The rabbit won't get far. My men will find him.
[The warehouse doors burst open and careering through them comes a black van which crashes into a pile of boxes before stopping. The doors open to reveal weasels inside.]
Valiant: Weasels?
Doom: Yes. I find they have a special gift for the work.
Smart Ass: Alright yer mugs, fall out.
Doom: Did you find the rabbit?
Smart Ass: Don't worry, Judge. We got "deformants" all over the city. We'll find him.
Doom: [Turning back to Valiant] You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?
Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year.
Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?
[Doom suddenly becomes aware of a rubbing at the base of his leg and looks down to see a lone toon shoe.]
Shoe: Beep! Beep!
Doom: [Whilst putting on a large black rubber glove.] Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction, my goal has been to reign in the insanity. And the only way to do that is to make Toons respect... [He emphasizes this by letting the glove snap back onto his arm] ...the law.
[Doom picks up the toon and carries it toward the van.]
Valiant: [Whispering to Santino.] How did that gargoyle get to be a Judge?
Santino: Spread a bunch of Simoleans around Toontown a couple of years back. Bought the election.
Valiant: Yeah? What's that?
[Inside the van is a barrel and Doom throws off the lid to reveal a green liquid inside.]
Santino: Remember how we always thought there wasn't a way to kill a Toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, Acetone, Benzene. He calls it the Dip.
[Doom begins to lower the toon into the dip.]
Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. Then I'll try him, convict him, and execute him.
(Then Rasputin slowly dunked the toon shoe into the Dip, smoke surrounding it as it slowly melted away offscreen, leaving behind some dying squeaks until it stopped. The police and even Bartok and the Fearsome Four had to look away while Cloud's group watched in shock with Aerith covering her mouth with her hands in shock)
Aerith: My God!
Psycho: Hee hee hee hee hee!
Greasy: Heh eh! That's one dead shoe, eh, Boss? [The gloves are covered with an oily red paint slick.]
Doom: They're not kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. But this is how we handle things down in Toontown. I'd think you of all people would appreciate that.
Category:Fan Fiction
Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Fanmakes
Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Parodies