Force The Nuke

Force The Nuke is the fifth episode of the fourth season, and the thirty-second episode overall, of No Malarkey in Bikini Bottom. It premiered on January 15, 2021.
==Plot==
Mr. Pineapple attempts to convince his fellow left-wing colleagues in the House to withhold their votes for Mrs. Pelosi in the Speakership election unless she agrees to hold a floor vote on nuking Bikini Bottom. Meanwhile, Mrs. Pelosi attempts to woo Mr. Trump.
==Transcript==
[The episode opens at the White House, where it is gray sweatpants season. Mr. Trump is walking throughout the halls, where his ginormous penis can be seen dangling through his sweatpants. Mrs. Pelosi can be seen covering her crotch, as her glistening girl juices leak out of her pants.]
Mrs. Pelosi: CURSE YOU FOR REAWAKENING MY WOMANHOOD! 
Mr. Banana: MRS. PELOSI! What are you doing?! You’re acting as if there’s a field of strawberries in here! 
Mrs. Pelosi: Sorry, Mr. Banana. It’s just that Trump Duck...he turns me on so much. Almost as much as bombing Palestinians does. 
Mr. Banana: Well, snap out of it! It’s almost the Speakership election! Since our majority is razor-thin, we can only afford to lose a handful of Democratic votes! 
[cut to Mr. Pineapple, speaking to a group of left-wing congressmembers]
Mr. Pineapple: You heard the banana! Pelosi can only afford to lose a handful of Democratic votes, or she’s finished! I say we seize this opportunity to use our leverage to get some concessions out of her!
Mrs. Ocasio-Cortez: Like getting key progressive appointments?
Mr. Pineapple: NO! Like getting a floor vote on nuking Bikini Bottom! 
Mrs. Ocasio-Cortez: What’s the point of using our leverage to get a floor vote on something that’ll fail? That’ll get a single vote. It’s a stupid idea.
Mr. Pineapple: Imperialist sell-out…
[cut to the Oval Office, where Mr. Trump walks in. He reaches into his sweatpants, pulling a giant hot dog out of it.]
Mr. Trump: This idea of yours better work! I need me some new smokin’ hot ladies! Ivanka just ain’t cutting it anymore. 
Mr. Giuliani: Trust me, it’s guaranteed! 
Mr. Trump: Well if it’s anything like your other “guaranteed” ideas, it’ll lead to a giant win for the deep state! 
[suddenly Mrs. Pelosi dressed up as a bird flies through the Oval Office window] 
Mr. Trump: Oh no! It must be that bald eagle again! They’re back for more! [runs away] 
Mrs. Pelosi: Wait, Mr. Trump! I’m just a lonely old bird in need of a fellow lover! All I want is a friendly cock! [winks] 
Mr. Giuliani: Hey, what do you know, I’m in need of a fellow lover myself! [rips off dress, revealing a bird suit]
Mrs. Pelosi: Squawk! Not you! Not you! You’re not just the Trump Duck! [flies out of the window] 
Mr. Giuliani: [sighs] Why is it that every bird I ask out always rejects me? 
[cut to Mr. R’Onion’s Environmental Science class] 
Mr. R’Onion: And of course, the so-called “progressives” in the House have proven themselves to be complete sell-outs by refusing to back Force The Vote! Bikini Bottom needs to pay for what it’s done to the trees! I call them the Fraud Squad! 
[Mr. Sullivan raises his hand] 
Mr. R’Onion: Yes, Dan? 
Mr. Sullivan: Wouldn’t the trees also die as a result of nuking Bikini Bottom? 
Mr. R’Onion: That’s where the R’Onion Revivor comes in. [pulls out the R’Onion Revivor] I simply shoot the trees with this bad boy, and they come back to life! Then they can live in peace and harmony without disturbance from any of the parasites in Bikini Bottom! 
[Mr. Hults raises his hand]
Mr. R’Onion: Yes, Clayton? 
Mr. Hults: Won’t Squilliam Fancyson just bribe Mr. Devil to revive everyone again? 
Mr. R’Onion: Don’t worry. I have a plan for that. 
[cut to Mr. R’Onion with Mr. Fancyson] 
Mr. R’Onion: I swear, Squlliam, if you fuck things up again, you’ll suffer the consequences for it. 
Mr. Fancyson: Pft, yeah right. I’m rich, I don’t pay any consequences! [laughs] 
Mr. R’Onion: Oh, is that so? [quickly dresses up Mr. Fancyson as a strawberry] 
[suddenly Mr. Banana busts down the door] 
Mr. Banana: Is that a strawberry I see?! 
[cut to Mr. Lobster] 
Mr. Lobster: VOTE LARRY LOBSTER FOR SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE! Do you want a true patriot like me in charge of this place or a DEEP STATE COMMUNIST PEDOPHILE GUN GRABBING MARXIST TRAITOR like Pelosi?!
Mr. Renaud: I cast my vote for Pelosi! We desperately need more MAP representation! 
Mr. Banana: MR. RENAUD! You are not a congressperson! And Pelosi isn’t a pedophile! Didn’t you see her leaking her glistening girl juices all over the White House fawning over Mr. Trump? 
Mr. Renaud: Ah, so she’s yet another pretender LINO I see! Well in that case, I announce my candidacy for Speaker of the House! 
Mr. Banana: WHAT
Mr. Renaud: Yep! There’s no requirement that you have be a sitting member of Congress to run for Speaker, so this is perfectly within my bounds! 
Mr. Pineapple: [walks by] Yeah, you know who’s another pretender? AOC and the rest of the Fraud Squad! They claim to be socialists, but won’t even support a floor vote on nuking Bikini Bottom! 
Mr. Lobster: This whole place is full of fakes! Just look at Mr. Romney! He talks a good game about hating immigrants, but yet he votes to impeach the president who put them in concentration camps! 
Mr. Banana: How dare he vote to impeach Obama! 
[Mr. Bass walks by] 
Mr. Bass: Hey guys, I’m here to cast my vote for Mr. Renaud. 
Mr. Banana: You haven’t even won your election! 
Mr. Bass: Yeah, but it’s not even a contest. We all know I’m going to win in a landslide-
Mr. Lobster: Just like TRUMP! 
Mr. Bass: -so I might as well start working now anyway. 
Mr. Banana: SECURITY! 
[Security escorts Mr. Renaud, Mr. Bass, and Mr. Pineapple outside.]
Mr. Pineapple: HEY! Why was I escorted outside?! I’m a member of Congress!
Police Officer: Sir, you are a convicted terrorist. 
Mr. Pineapple: And what’s the issue with that? Close-minded right-wingers! Anyway, just as well, because I have a Force the Nuke protest I’m supposed to be attending! [walks over to Mr. R’Onion and his students] Is this all we have? 
Mr. R’Onion: Well, we also have all the trees, but they’re not able to walk. 
Mr. Pineapple: Well then we’ll have to do this on behalf of them! LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! FORCE THE NUKE! 
[they all began chanting “Force The Nuke”]
[Cut to Mrs. Pelosi, who is dressed as a schoolgirl and has a cart full of Girl Scout cookies next to her.] 
Mrs. Pelosi: This better work. [knocks on the Oval Office door] 
Mr. Trump: [opens the door, his mouth immediately dropping open] Hot DAMN! [smacks Mrs. Pelosi’s ass] Come in here with those cookies, hun! 
[cut to the House of Representatives] 
Mr. Banana: [reading off a card] And the results for the Speakership election are...216 Mrs. Pelosi, 209 Mr. Lobster, and 1 Mr. Renaud. 
Mr. Lobster: WHAT?! This election was RIGGED by the deep state commies, just the presidential election! 
Mr. Pineapple: I’ll say! The Fraud Squad rigged it in favor of Pelosi! What a bunch of sell-outs! Unlike them, I voted for someone who’ll actually take on the establishment! 
[cut to Mr. Renaud with Mrs. Pelosi] 
Mr. Renaud: Sooo, how’d ya like to shoot a commercial for your cookies at CPTV? 
[the episode ends]
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