Ups and Downs

"Ups and Downs" (alternatively stylized "Ups & Downs") is a song by The Residents, first released as the first track on Side B of their seventh studio album Commercial Album on October 29th 1980 by Ralph Records. It features vocals by The Residents' frequent collaborator Snakefinger.
Like the other songs on Commercial Album, "Ups and Downs" is exactly one minute long; an earlier three minute version of the song (with two additional verses and vocals by The Singing Resident) was later released on the outtakes compilation Residue of The Residents in 1983. 
Despite longstanding rumors of a number of other "full-length" versions of Commercial Album songs, "Ups and Downs" remains the only song from that album to have an earlier extended version surface in the decades since its release. The three minute version of the song was featured on the compilation CD Heaven? in 1986, and later appeared as a bonus track on the pREServed expanded CD reissue of Commercial Album in 2019.
A music video for the Commercial Album version of the song by artist Cedric Mercier was featured on The Residents' Commercial DVD in 2004. A newly created "RDX" mix of the song derived from the original multi-track master tapes was featured in "COMS 1-3 RDX Suite Pt 2" on the pREServed vinyl edition of Commercial Album in 2023.
== Lyrics ==
=== Commercial Album version ===
 She was opening up an elevator
 On a rainy day
 Sitting on a little stool
 And looking far away
 I asked if she would take me
 To another floor
 She laughed and said she probably would
 And then she closed the doorIma Buddy, Ima Buddy's Totally Impartial Companion to Uncle Willie's Highly Opinionated BIG MAMAS, 1992
=== Residue version ===
 She was opening up an elevator
 On a rainy day
 Sitting on a little stool
 And looking far away
 She said she often went to sleep
 And dreamed about a prince
 The prince was sad and lonely
 And he seldom made much sense
 Once he turned and stared at her
 And then removed his coat
 She said that he was much too thin
 And then I cleared my throat
 I asked if she would like to take me
 To another floor
 She laughed and said she probably would
 And then she closed the door
== List of releases ==
* Commercial Album (1980) Grove Street studio recording, September 1979 - July 1980 (Commercial Album version, 1:00)
* Residue of The Residents (1983) Grove Street studio recording, September 1979 - July 1980 (Residue version, 3:06)
* Heaven? (1986) 
* In Memoriam Torso (1994) 
* Residue Deux (1998) 
* Commercial DVD (2004) 
* Heaven? / Hell! (2012) 
* Commercial Album pREServed CD edition (2019) 
* Commercial Album pREServed vinyl edition (2023) Grove Street studio recording, September 1979 - July 1980 (RDX mix, part of "COMS 1-3 RDX Suite Pt 2", 16:40)
=== List of versions ===
== See also ==
* Commercial Album
* Residue of The Residents
* Snakefinger
== Buy Or Die! ==
=== Listen online ===
* "Ups and Downs" (Commercial Album version) on Spotify
* "Ups and Downs" (Commercial Album version) on Apple Music
* "Ups and Downs" (Residue version) on Spotify
* "Ups and Downs" (Residue version) on Apple Music
== External links and references ==
* Commercial Album at The Residents Historical
* Residue of The Residents at The Residents Historical
* Commercial DVD at The Residents Historical
* Commercial Album at RZWeb (archived via archive.org)
* Residue of The Residents at RZWeb (archived via archive.org)
Category:Songs
Category:Commercial Album
Category:Commercial DVD
Category:Residue of The Residents
Category:Heaven? and Hell!
Category:Heaven?
Category:One Minute Songs