Just One Bite but Squidward really does hate Krabby Patties

An episode of SpongeBob SquarePants But it's something different every episode
* Squidward: [hands Harold his tray of food] Here you go, sir. A King-Size Ultra Krabby Supreme with the works, double batter fried [puts a stick into the food] on a stick.
* Harold: Thanks! [walks off]
* Squidward: Barnaclehead. [Harold comes back]
* Harold: Pardon me?
* Squidward: [holds up a mayonnaise bottle] You forgot your mayonnaise. [sets it on Harold's tray]
* Harold: Thanks! [walks off and sits at his table]
* Squidward: Look at them eating that garbage. [Harold bites into his food and squirts mayonnaise into his mouth] It's disgusting. They're sickening. I hate Krabby Patties.
* SpongeBob: [laughing from the kitchen window] Good one, Squidward.
* Squidward: Good what?
* SpongeBob: Like you don't know. [hits Squidward on the back of the head] Saying, [imitates Squidward] "I hate Krabby Patties." [normal voice] That's hilarious! Everyone loves Krabby Patties.
* Squidward: Yeah, well, not me.
* SpongeBob: [silence, chuckles] You're good at that. [jumps on top of the window] Hey, everyone! Squid says he doesn't like Krabby Patties. Ha! [everyone laughs]
* Squidward: Don't encourage them! They'll never leave.
* SpongeBob: [starts to grill more patties] Sorry, Squidward, it's just so funny. You know what we say. [all the customers appear in the kitchen]
* All: The only people who don't like a Krabby Patty, have never tasted one! [they all disappear]
* Squidward: That's me. Never had one, never will. [SpongeBob flips a Krabby Patty through the ceiling of the Krusty Krab after hearing this]
* SpongeBob: What?
* Squidward: What?
* SpongeBob: [cleans out his ears] What? What did you say?
* Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty and never will.
* SpongeBob: I'm sorry... I don't...
* Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty. [SpongeBob puts his glasses on and takes out a dictionary]
* SpongeBob: Those words. Is it possible to use them in a sentence together like that?
* Squidward: I've never had a Krabby Patty! I've never had a Krabby Patty! I've never had a Krabby Patty!
* SpongeBob: [takes off his glasses and throws away the dictionary] Never had a Krabby Patty?! Well, you've got to have one right now! [runs out of the kitchen holding a Krabby Patty] No wonder you're always so miserable! Here, try this.
* Squidward: [slaps the patty out of SpongeBob's hand] Get that garbage outta my face! [SpongeBob runs off and brings it back]
* SpongeBob: If you try it, you'll love it!
* Squidward: Try one of those radioactive sludge-balls you call food? Next, I suppose you'll want me to go square-dancing with Patrick. [pan over to Patrick dressed as a cowboy, standing next to SpongeBob]
* SpongeBob: [to Patrick, whispering] Sorry, Patrick. [Patrick sighs and walks off sadly. SpongeBob tries to give Squidward the patty again] Come on, you're gonna—
* Squidward: [pushes the patty away] No.
* SpongeBob: Open up the tunnel, here comes the train. Choo-choo... [Squidward slaps it away]
* Squidward: No!
* SpongeBob: [reaches behind Squidward's ear] Whoop! What's that in your ear? [pulls out a patty]
* Squidward: Quit it.
* SpongeBob: Come on, open wide!
* Squidward: SpongeBob, if I were trapped at the bottom of a well, for three years, with nothing to eat but that Krabby Patty, I'd eat my own legs first... [walks out from behind the counter] and not just the extra ones. [walks off as SpongeBob follows]
* SpongeBob: But it's good for you!
* Squidward: [turns around] G—good for you?! That thing is a heart attack on a bun!
* SpongeBob: No, Squidward, I meant... good for your soul. [background turns to a heaven-like sky and SpongeBob wearing wings and a halo and doves are seen flying in the background and a choir is heard]
* Squidward: Oh, puh-lease! I have no soul! [background turns to fire, and flying bats and evil laughter are heard. Squidward walks off]
* SpongeBob: Okay, just half.
* Squidward: No.
* SpongeBob: A quarter?
* Squidward: No.
* SpongeBob: One bite?
* Squidward: No. [Squidward enters the bathroom. When he opens a stall door, SpongeBob shows him the patty]
* SpongeBob: Just smell it.
* Squidward: If I didn't want it out there, what makes you think I'd find it more appealing in here?! [slams the door. Cut to Squidward washing dishes. SpongeBob rises up, made with pink bubble in the sink, holding the Krabby Patty in his hand]
* SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward.
* Squidward: No. [all the bubbles pop, including the Krabby Patty. Cut to Squidward putting money in the register. SpongeBob pops out of the register with coins on his head and eyes]
* SpongeBob: One bite.
* Squidward: No... [cash drawer shuts. Cut to Squidward taking out the trash. SpongeBob pops up from inside the trashcan, made with fruit and trash]
* SpongeBob: You won't be sorry.
* Squidward: [throws the garbage bag on SpongeBob in the trash can] No! [turns around and sees SpongeBob]
* SpongeBob: It's delicious...
* Squidward: Listen, SpongeBob, how long are you prepared to keep this up? [SpongeBob handcuffs himself to Squidward. Squidward takes the patty] Give me that! When I die... you stay away from my funeral. [looks at the patty, patty juice falls out] Ohh... do I really...
* SpongeBob: Ahh... [Squidward stretches his mouth] Eee.... Ooh-ooh-ooh... [Squidward takes a tiny bite of the Krabby Patty and smiles. SpongeBob's eyes turn into hearts]
* Squidward: Why... this Krabby Patty may be the most... [suddenly angry] Horrible! Putrid! [SpongeBob's eyes turn into atomic explosions] Poorly prepared! Vile! Unappetizing! Disgusting excuse for a sandwich, that has ever been my displeasure to have slither down my throat!
* SpongeBob: But—
* Squidward: [throws the patty on the ground] And I curse this Krabby Patty, [stomps on the patty] and all who enjoy them, [uses a wooden plank to smash the patty] to an early and well-deserved grave! [close-up on a shocked SpongeBob. Puts a tombstone on top of the patty with 'R.I.P.' and a picture of a patty on it] Get it?
* SpongeBob: But, it doesn't make any sense. The Krabby Patty is an absolute good. Nobody is immune to its tasty charms.
* Squidward: Nobody but me.
* SpongeBob: Are you sure?
* Squidward: Does this look unsure to you? [close-up of Squidward's wrinkly face]
* SpongeBob: No.
* Squidward: Good! Now go spread the word! [SpongeBob's eyes well up with tears as he walks back into the Krusty Krab.] Man that was horrible. Blech. I don't know how those bottomfeeders can enjoy this trash!
* [Episode ends with Squidward walking back into the Krusty Krab, still wiping his tongue with his hands to get the taste out]
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