World Wars

World Wars is the twelfth and final episode of Season One of The World of SBFW.
==Part 1==
World Wars (Part 1) is the first part of the twelfth and final episode of Season One of The World of SBFW.
===Transcript===
[Episode begins with a flashback of the end of Malarkey in The World of SBFW.]
Golfpecks: Now, does anyone know how I get off this planet?
SpongeBot: That's the thing, nobody really knows.
Golfpecks: You what?
SpongeBot: I've been stuck here for years begging to leave.
Polar: Well I mean you could use that conveniently placed rocket beside you.
[The camera pans over to a banana-shaped rocket beside Golfpecks. Dan is holding the door open.]
Golfpecks: Oh. [He enters the rocket] Well, I guess I'll see you all soon.
SpongeBot: Wait, take me with you!
[Golfpecks slams the door in SpongeBot's face and he takes off.]
SpongeBot: NOOOOOO!!
Golfpecks: Ha, ha! So long motherflippers!
Travis: That's… oddly not Golfpecks.
[Golfpecks disappears]
Primitive: Well, what now?
Lock: Well the penguin's gone.
Matchy: I'm down for another pint if anyone wants to come. (This makes sense in context or whatever ehhifydyicjuc)
Primitive: Eh, sure.
[Everyone follows Matchy off the screen. Cut to Golfpecks in his rocket.]
Golfpecks: Poor fools. Little do they know soon, there will be no more trolls in the FANDOM Galaxy. Because, really, trolls need to shut the fuck up.
[The rocket's fuel indicator starts blinking.]
Golfpecks: Sh-
[The engine begins thrusting with all its might. Golfpecks screams. Oh, and the flashback is over.]
Golfpecks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! This isn't good.
[The rocket flies towards a distant planet.]
Golfpecks: Hey… is that…? (gasp) It is! It's The World of Joe Biden!
[The rocket barely misses the planet and is now heading towards a new one.]
Golfpecks: Agh! Wait! I know this one too!
[We see a planet that resembles The World of SBFW, but is more SpongeBob themed.]
Golfpecks: It's The World of ESB! This means my plan is going according to- well, plan. (laughs) NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO GOLFPECKS!
[He notices that he is about to crash-land.]
Golfpecks: AAAAAAA-
[Golfpecks crashes onto the planet, except he falls onto a large plate of smashed potatoes that resemble Squidward, cushioning his fall. The rocket remains completely intact.]
Golfpecks: Oh. That wasn't very bad at all.
Gustav: wait wut
DefunctJames: what happen
Mavnol: o
MaoWriter: huh
[Golfpecks tries to open the door, but it is stuck to the giant smashed potatoes.]
Golfpecks: It won't open!
[Golfpecks starts banging on the window in an attempt to signal to the people outside.]
Golfpecks: YOU! DOWN THERE! LET ME OUT OF HERE!
DefunctJames: ugh, someone's trying to revive the smashed potatoes thing again.
Mavnol: it's not funny!
Golfpecks: GET ME OUT OF HERE!
TheKorraFanatic: WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRAGGLE ROCK IS GOING ON?
Gustav: (gasp and points) they said a bad word!
DefunctJames: shut up! you're gonna-
[A robot that looks like SpongeBob approaches the group.]
SpongeBobiaChatBot: Beep boop. You have violated the no cursing policy.
DefunctJames: what? no, i didn't-
SpongeBobiaChat: You have been sentenced to ten thousand years in swear word jail.
DefunctJames: no! what?! it was korr-
[SpongeBobiaChatBot picks up DefunctJames and carries him away screaming.]
DefunctJames: IT'S NOT ME! I'M INNOCENT!
Mavnol: um- someone's got stuck in the smashed potatoes that look like squidward.
TheKorraFanatic: Ugh, I told you guys to delete it. How many times has some- Hey, wait a sec… Golfpecks?
Golfpecks: LEMME OUTTA HERE!
TheKorraFanatic: What are you doing here? I thought you went to that dumb fanon wiki years ago.
Golfpecks: Oh, it's dumb alright. A while ago they blocked me for reporting the wiki and getting it shut down! I mean, how idiotic can you be to punish someone for doing the right thing?
DefunctJames: uh-
Mavnol: shhh
TheKorraFanatic: Look, whatever, we're gonna get you out. What you're gonna want to do is-
[Golfpecks kicks the window with his foot, breaking the glass.]
Golfpecks: Oh, nevermind.
[Golfpecks climbs out of the ship and falls down inside of the smashed potatoes.]
Golfpecks: Wait, no, I'm stuck again.
[Golfpecks walks out of the smashed potatoes covered in it.]
Golfpecks: Oh, wait, I'm fine again!
TheKorraFanatic: Okay… so, why'd you come back here?
Golfpecks: I need to get revenge on those morons, and I thought you guys would be the men to do it.
[PenJesus clears her throat.]
TheKorraFanatic: Wait what wait… You travelled all this way in a banana-shaped rocket just to get us to work for you?
Golfpecks: Basically.
TheKorraFanatic: What do we get in return?
Golfpecks: What? You want something in return? I'm a businessman doing business. I'm not a charity.
TheKorraFanatic: And your business today is enslaving an army to take over a planet?
Golfpecks: Well no, I don't mean it like that-
TheKorraFanatic: Well what do you mean then?
Golfpecks: I just thought you all owed me a favour, that's all.
TheKorraFanatic: What have we done to you?
Golfpecks: Look, I studied at Harvard. If I ask you to help me with something, you do it. Do you want me to get this place shut down too?
TheKorraFanatic: You really came all this way to get us to work for you, didn't you?
Golfpecks: Well I was supposed to land at The World of Joe Biden, but sometimes you just have to improvise, right?
TheKorraFanatic: Well, why don't you go back to The World of Joe Biden?
Golfpecks: I can't. The rocket's filled up with smashed potatoes and I have no idea how to repair it.
[Spongebob456 approaches them, wearing a crown.]
Spongebob456: Woah woah woah, what's happening here? Isn't that the guy who moved to the planet with that hormone problem?
TheKorraFanatic: You wanna tell him, or shall I?
Golfpecks: I-
TheKorraFanatic: He's here to make us take over that fanfiction website for him.
Spongebob456: (sigh) Of course he is. Look pal, I'm sorry but we're not doing anything for you.
[Golfpecks takes out a toy hypno ray shaped like a banana and starts shooting nothing at them.]
Golfpecks: You are feeling very sleepy, very-
TheKorraFanatic: Seriously? He just said we're not helping you with anything.
Golfpecks: (sigh) Can you at least help me fix up my rocket then?
[TheKorraFanatic and Spongebob456 whisper to each other for a couple seconds.]
TheKorraFanatic: Okay, fine.
Golfpecks: YIPPEE! (like a military general) Okay, men. We're about to launch an all-out attack on-
TheKorraFanatic: We didn't say we were gonna help you attack the fanon wiki, we just said we would help you fix the rocket.
Spongebob456: Yep. So, uh… I guess you all better get to work then.
TheKorraFanatic: Wait, you mean you're not gonna help?
Spongebob456: Of course not! I've got important… wiki-running things to do
TheKorraFanatic: But- (sigh) Okay, sir.
[He leans over to Golfpecks.]
Spongebob456: Meet me in my office in five minutes.
Timecard: Five minutes later…
[Cut to Golfpecks sitting opposite Spongebob456 in his office.]
Spongebob456: Okay, so what I said out there was just keeping up appearances. I gotta look good, you know people like to make fun of people like me. Discord moderators and all that.
Golfpecks: Where is this going?
Spongebob456: I think you and I both know us Encyclopedia SpongeBobians have a long lineage of hatred for The World of SBFW, and you come here suggesting war? I'm listening.
Golfpecks: (gasp) You mean- you're gonna help?
Spongebob456: ...maybe. You see, SBFW is actually quite decent. And our alternative, Fanonia SpongeBobia? It's… not decent.
Golfpecks: I dunno, I actually quite like it.
Spongebob456: Really?
Golfpecks: Yeah! The World of SBFW is a corrupt breeding ground full of blasphemous trolls. I mean, you're allowed to swear there!
Spongebob456: That is not right!
Golfpecks: I know, right? And half the content isn't even about SpongeBob! There's this show called No Malarkey In… There's this show called "I hate my child." about the users! You should see the things they get away with in that!
Spongebob456: So what's your plan?
Golfpecks: What?
Spongebob456: How are we gonna get over there? Are we gonna sneak up on them or something? What's our strategy?
[pause]
Golfpecks: I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far.
Spongebob456: Well, we have to do something. We can't just show up saying "We're gonna fight you," that's not how it works. We need a plan so we can sneak up on 'em and attack when no one's looking.
Golfpecks: How about we just ambush them? I have been there for years, and I think it's safe to say that the users are… rather uncivilized. They won't suspect a thing.
Spongebob456: Sure, that works I guess.
[They two rub their hands and evil-y laugh.]
Spongebob456: We're gonna need a lot more spaceships though.
[Cut to Golfpecks outside on the phone.]
Golfpecks: Hello? Is this Spacecraft R Us?
Person on Phone: We sure are! What can we help you with today?
Golfpecks: I'd like a latte.
[Cut to Golfpecks and Spongebob456 approaching a large group of users finishing fixing Golfpecks' ship.]
TheKorraFanatic: Welp, it's finally done.
AlexKidd: You will not believe how long it took to pull that thing out of the oversized smashed potatoes that just so happen to kind of look like Squidward.
Golfpecks: Well, well done people. 
TheKorraFanatic: I guess this means goodbye again?
[Golfpecks laughs.]
Spongebob456: Um… Golfpecks and I… reached an agreement.
TheKorraFanatic: What agreement?
Spongebob456: Heh, you know that full-on attack on the fanon wiki?
TheKorraFanatic: Ugh, don't tell me.
Golfpecks: (grinning) We're doing this people! You will not regret this, Mr…
Spongebob456: Spongebob456.
Golfpecks: Sure.
Spongebob456: I want to reassure everyone that this was not my idea. I did everything in my power to prevent this from happening! However, this is serious and I do dare to say that this… is war.
TheKorraFanatic: (sigh) I guess you're the boss.
Gustav: what? i don't want to go into a war!!!
Golfpecks: Oh, cheer up. It'll be fun!
Gustav: well… okay.
Golfpecks: YAY!
[Golfpecks dons an army hat.]
Golfpecks: Attention! The unproductive fanfiction writers are the lowest in their class so taking them all down should be a piece of cake.
Spongebob456: Wait, so what's the actual goal here? Mass genocide or-
Golfpecks: I don't care, as long as they suffer. Those blasted buffoons have wronged me one too many times.
[Everyone gives him a deadpan stare.]
Golfpecks: I mean, those blasted buffoons have wronged us one too many times. We're doing it for this planet.
TheKorraFanatic: Sure…
Golfpecks: Don't you guys hate SBFW as well?
Mavnol: eh.
Gustav: not really.
AlexKidd: (sigh) But we're all with you all the way on this, right guys?
Gustav: sure, why not.
Golfpecks: Wait, you are?
AlexKidd: It's a double special, we might as well just get on with it.
Spongebob456: For the sake of the double special!
All: For the sake of the double special!
Golfpecks: For the sake of getting back at those damn fools!
[silence]
Golfpecks: Let's just go.
All: YEAH!
[Cut to a shot of several planets in outer space.]
Pluto:Stop Picking on me
Neptune:what's the matter DWARF
[Planets laugh at pluto]
[Pluto takes out a spoon]
Pluto:I have a spoon and i'm not afraid to use it
Jupiter:For what?
Pluto:TRY ME
[The group of The World of ESB's spaceships speed by, knocking Pluto out of orbit.]
Pluto: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Spongebob456: I'm sure that won't lead to anything important.
TheKorraFanatic: Anyway, how long until we reach The World of SBFW?
Golfpecks: Around just one line.
[Cut to CrazySponge walking on SBFW Street.]
CrazySponge: ah what a great day it is in the world of sbfw im sure nothing will go wrong
[The spaceships land on CrazySponge, killing him.]
Lock: It's funny because CrazySponge died- OHMYGODALIENATTACK!!!
[Cut to EB The Original Master in his house.]
EB: Hello everyone, EB The Original Master here with another alien invasion rant-
[Primitive bursts through his bedroom door.]
EB: What the hell?! 
Primitive: The spaceships! They're everywhere!
EB: What are you doing in my house, I'm trying to film a rant!
Primitive: My house got crushed by one of the UFOs, we're neighbors, remember?
[A news report comes on the TV.]
Paul Renaud: Hello, and welcome back to another CPTV newsflash.
Travis: This just in, an entire fleet of unidentified flying objects have crash-landed into the city! Luckily there has only been one death so far, no brownie points to anyone who figures out who that is.
Paul Renaud: We advise all citizens to stay indoors, (smirks) and to drop their children off at CPTV HQ, where they will be taken care of until this all blows over.
Travis: We now return to our normal programmi-
[A spaceship crashes into the studio.]
Paul Renaud: AAAAAAH! IGNORE WHAT WE JUST SAID! PANIC!!
[The screen cuts to static.]
Primitive: I guess we'd better do something.
EB: We? I'm not gonna get involved in this. I'm just gonna stay home and make funny Veggietales rants.
[A spaceship crashes into EB's house.]
EB: Nevermind, let's go.
[Cut to Arre walking around the city.]
Arre: Is everyone okay?
Polar: There are spaceships falling from the fucking sky! Of course we're not okay!!
Primitive: It's okay, everyone. As long as EB's okay, we're okay.
Lock: Knickers.
Arre: Alright, I guess one of us should attempt to communicate with the aliens?
Polar: I'm not making first contact!
Lock: Knickers.
Primitive: I gotcha.
[Primitive heads towards the spaceships. ESB users come out with various weapons aimed at him.]
DefunctJames: hands up!
Mavnol: surrender, sbfw-ian.
Gustav: you cannot run from us.
Primitive: (nervous laughter) heh, anyone else wanna try?
[Golfpecks comes out from his spaceship.]
Golfpecks: Salutations, you blasphemous-
Polar: Wait wait wait wait… Golfpecks?!
[Awkward pause. The crowd of SBFW users burst out into spontaneous laughter.]
Arre: These aren't aliens, they're Encyclopedia SpongeBobians!
Louis219: uh, yeah.
MaoWriter69: so, uh, surrender.
CartoonGuy: What are you gonna do? Throw us in Swearing Jail? (laughs)
DefunctJames: no, we're gonna do this.
[DefunctJames squirts CartoonGuy with a water gun. Golfpecks slowly walks up behind him.]
Golfpecks: (sigh) You're doing it all wrong. (Golfpecks grabs the gun and switches the dial to "bullet mode".) Here, let me try.
[Golfpecks shoots CartoonGuy and he fucking dies.]
Primitive: OH FUCK- RUN!
[The users run away. Cut to Box Productions HQ where CrazySponge is about to enjoy a Happy Meal.]
CrazySponge: ahh, a late night snack for a late night king
[He opens the Happy Meal and takes out one of those bags with the toy in it.]
CrazySponge: they didnt forget my toy this time! if that isnt character development i dont know what is
[He rips the bag open to reveal a race car toy.]
CrazySponge: OH BOY!!! HOT WHEELS!!!
[CrazySponge begins playing with his car. The users from before dash into the room and lock the doors.]
CrazySponge: huh? hey whats going on here? i am trying to play with my hot wheels
Primitive: There is no time to explain. We have to get away from those maniacs!
CrazySponge: who now?
Primitive: Those fools from ESB are taking over! Did you not just get killed by one of their spaceships?
CrazySponge: oh yeah, that happens so often i don't take notice of it anymore
Primitive: So what are we gonna do?
CrazySponge: why are you asking me?
Primitive: You're the richest guy in town! Don't you have a top-secret bunker in case of another apocalypse or something?
CrazySponge: i have no idea what any of those words mean. anyway leave me alone so i can play with my new hot wheels
Primitive: Suit yourself, but don't come crying to us when your car breaks.
[Cut to Polar pacing around at the PI floor of the Box Productions building.]
Polar: Okay, recruits, the entire planet is under attack. Everyone is counting on corporations like us with the money to swoop in and save the day. Any suggestions?
[Pan over to reveal the board table Polar is talking to, which is completely empty besides several stuffed Temmies.]
Polar: Great suggestion, Temmie! Who better to send in than PenisM-
[PenisMan flies by the window behind Polar.]
PenisMan: I SMELL AN ORG-
[PenisMan gets shot by Golfpecks and fucking dies.]
Polar: (rolls eyes) Of course. Any other suggestions?
[A spaceship begins hurtling towards the window.]
Polar: Oh sh-
[The spaceship crashes into the Box Productions building. Cut to Polar and SpongeBot running down the flight of stairs to CrazySponge.]
CrazySponge: ugh, what do you want now?!
SpongeBot: Half the building's kinda sorta… destroyed, sir.
CrazySponge: (sigh) couldn't they have picked another time to invade?! im busy playing with my hot wheels
SpongeBot: Okay, would you rather get to safety like the rest of us or die a gruesome death because of your stubborn ways and that dumb car?
CrazySponge: (gasp) SPONGEBOT! dont insult my hot wheels like that! and besides, i can just come back to life when i die. this apocalypse thing doesnt bother me in the slightest.
SpongeBot: But what about us?
CrazySponge: you actually think i give a fuck about you?
[CrazySponge bursts out in laughter.]
CrazySponge: no, bot, the only thing i care about is my fame, my reputation, my oodles of money, and my hot wheels.
Polar: Well that's it then, we're all fucked.
[Polar curls up into a ball and aimlessly rocks back and forth.]
CrazySponge: (sigh) what a drama queen.
[Cut the Jasbre Corp. building, which is being invaded by several ESB users.]
Jasbre: No, please! I have too much of an influence on the wiki to die! I created the wiki's Simpsons!
JStar334: surrender now! or, uh… i don't know what but surrender anyway!
Jasbre: Come on, maybe we could negotiate? How about some of my signed vent art? Maybe I could be on your team!!!
JStar334: wait really?! i guess that would-
[Jasbre backs into an escape pod, which immediately closes.]
Jasbre: So long, suckers! I'm going back to The World of LEGO SpongeBob!
[The escape pod blasts through the ceiling.]
JStar334: o
Mobizen4: Let's go back to the cardboard building.
[Cut back to CrazySponge and the others.]
SpongeBot: Could you please stop being so arrogant?
CrazySponge: im not being arrogant. im just valuing my very important needs over your dumb ones.
SpongeBot: You are so stupid.
Polar: We're all gonna die. It's the end of the world. It's the end of TWoS! IT'S THE END OF ME!
SpongeBot: …mE wOrLd.
Polar: AGH!! AND THE END OF MEME WORLD TOO?!
SpongeBot: I was jokin-
[An explosion is heard off-screen.]
CrazySponge: wait, what was that?
[Cut to the lobby of the building where the entrance has been completely blown up. Golfpecks enters with TheKorraFanatic and Spongebob456.]
Golfpecks: Ah, yes, I remember this place. Box Productions may have fought hard, but they could never climb as high as good ol' Banana Studios.
TheKorraFanatic: Are you sure this isn't going a little too far? You seem to be the only one that wants this.
Spongebob456: Well, I-
Golfpecks: Too far? (laughs) We can't back down now! FULL STEAM AHEAD!
[Cut back to CrazySponge, SpongeBot and Polar. Primitive runs into the room.]
Primitive: Guys, Golf's here.
Polar: FUCK!
CrazySponge: maybe he just wants to sell me his company?
SpongeBot: (sarcastically) Oh yeah. Definitely.
Primitive: Look, I know they're dinguses and everything… but so are we. We gotta move, now.
[A giant cage crashes down on the four.]
Golfpecks: Did you really think you could escape that easily?
Primitive: Wait, how did-
SpongeBot: Join the SpongeBob fanfiction site, they said. It'll be fun, they said.
Polar: Welp, time to complete my will.
SpongeBot: What's the point of a will if we're all gonna be dead?
Polar: I'm sorry, I've never been in a world-ending situation before.
Spongebob456: Well there's a first time for everything, isn't there?
[He turns to Golfpecks and TheKorraFanatic.]
Spongebob456: Was that good? 
TheKorraFanatic: Eh, sure.
Spongebob456: I'm not usually the anime antagonist spouting out catchphrases and stuff.
Primitive: Wait, TWoS is an anime now?
SpongeBot: そもそもそうではなかったのですか？ (Translation: Wasn't that the case in the first place?)
Golfpecks: I have no idea what an "anime" is.
SpongeBot: If you're gonna kill us, can we at least die knowing you finally started that SpongeBob 24/7 livestream?
Golfpecks: No.
SpongeBot: Well that's great, isn't it?
Golfpecks: Actually as productive as it would be to kill you, that's not what I'm here for.
Polar: Oh, good. Thank you, Golfpecks, thank you.
[CrazySponge, SpongeBot and Primitive turn to Polar.]
Polar: What? If I'm gonna die it's gonna be on my own terms.
Primitive: So, uh… what are you here for then? 
SpongeBot: And where'd this big cage come from?
Golfpecks: I'm here for the company.
CrazySponge: o, you wanna sell me something?
Golfpecks: No. You're gonna sell me something.
CrazySponge: WHAT?!!!
Golfpecks: I want the entirety of Box Productions Incorporated and all its assets, for free.
[Pause. CrazySponge falls to the floor with hysterical laughter.]
TheKorraFanatic: Uh…..
CrazySponge: yeah, sorry, not happening.
Golfpecks: Would you rather die?
CrazySponge: of course i would
Golfpecks: Fair enough.
[Golfpecks takes out a gun and shoots CrazySponge and he fucking dies. Spongebob456 and TheKorraFanatic flinch. CrazySponge immediately comes back to life.]
Golfpecks: What the-
[Golfpecks keeps shooting CrazySponge but nothing happens.]
SpongeBot: That's one powerful gun.
Golfpecks: Why won't it work?!
CrazySponge: i can see you're not up to date on sbfw memes
Polar: Did the CrazySponge Died meme not die out like months ago?
Golfpecks: (sigh) Well, at least I have three other pawns I can throw away at any moment.
[Golfpecks aims the gun towards SpongeBot.]
SpongeBot: wait wu-
[Golfpecks shoots a bullet at SpongeBot, but it misses and hits a button on the cage, lifting it up.]
Primitive: If that isn't lucky I don't know what is.
Polar: Don't overthink plot convenience, just run!
[SpongeBot, Primitive and Polar run out of the building. Spongebob456 and TheKorraFanatic look around in confusion. Polar turns around to see CrazySponge still standing there.]
Polar: Is he coming?
CrazySponge: if my empire goes down, i go down with it!
Golfpecks: Korra, Numbers, get them already!
[Spongebob456 and TheKorraFanatic chase after SpongeBot, Primitive and Polar.]
SpongeBot: Talk about the nightmare wiki next door.
[More bullets fire after them, but they once again conveniently miss. The three turn down an alleyway.]
Primitive: Why'd we come down here? It's just more room for them to aim!
Polar: Do you have a better idea? We need to lose them somehow!
[The camera pans up to a rooftop. Granite is standing there in full Captain Underpants cosplay.]
Granite: I'll save you!
Primitive: No! Don't jump!
[Granite jumps down from the rooftop and lands inside a trashcan. The three exit the alleyway and turn left as Spongebob456 and TheKorraFanatic enter.]
Spongebob456: They came down here!
[TheKorraFanatic stops Spongebob456 from moving any further.]
TheKorraFanatic: Look, why are we helping this guy?
Primitive: Hey, uh, wanna negotiate? If you don't kill us, we, uh… don't kill you?
[The two think about it for a couple seconds.]
TheKorraFanatic: Okay, fair enough.
Spongebob456: What?! You can't do-
TheKorraFanatic: Golfpecks is just taking advantage of us, don't you see? This way no one gets hu-
[Primitive throws a Garfield plush at TheKorraFanatic as the three flee.]
Spongebob456: And they just took advantage of us!
[The two run down to SBFW Street, where the three are nowhere to be seen.]
Spongebob456: ...great, we lost them.
TheKorraFanatic: At least they kept the deal.
Spongebob456: I guess. If we lose, which I guess there's a 50% chance of that considering how incompetent both sides are, they're gonna be peed off.
TheKorraFanatic: Why do you want this "war", anyway?
Spongebob456: It's SBFW, you know how we used to get along.
TheKorraFanatic: Yeah, but that doesn't mean-
Spongebob456: Look, we should probably get back to Golfpecks or whatever his name is.
TheKorraFanatic: Why should we go back to that douchebag?
Spongebob456: (gasp) Korra!
TheKorraFanatic: Sorry, sir.
Spongebob456: You should really watch your language.
[The two walk off in the opposite direction. Cut to Travis and Paul Renaud in a makeshift CPTV studio.]
Travis: This is CPTV News, your number one source for ESB invasion news, now in illegal radio station form.
[Pan out to Matchy listening to the report through a radio in a bunker somewhere.]
Paul Renaud: Golfpecks has gained control of Box Productions in its entirety.
[Matchy cheers.]
Travis: So I guess he basically just controls all media now?
Paul Renaud: All legal media, anyway. And nothing I need is legal anyway. Seeing as how Golfpecks owns around 60% of The World of SBFW, it's safe to say that the end may be near.
Matchy: Shit!
Travis: And now we turn back to our death count numbers… a lot.
Matchy: Eh, could be worse. If we get through this I'm sure they'll be back next season.
Primitive: If there is a next season, that is.
Matchy: GAH! How'd you get in here?
SpongeBot: We figured if CrazySponge wasn't smart enough to have a bunker, then at least maybe Jasbre would.
[Exterior shot of the Jasbre Corp. building, which Matchy, Primitive, SpongeBot and Polar are under.]
Polar: Where is he anyway?
Matchy: I dunno and quite frankly I don't care.
[Cut to Jasbre in a private tropical beach, wearing sunglasses and laying on a hammock.]
Jasbre: Ah. This is the life.
[Cut back.]
Matchy: I used to be close to him so I already knew about this. How'd you get in?
Primitive: We're talking about Jasbre, it really wasn't that hard.
Matchy: Most of the food went out of date late-2019 or early-2020 though, we can't stay here forever.
SpongeBot: As long as we can get Channel 5 down here, I'll be fine for now.
Matchy: That's owned by BP, right? Golfpecks just "bought" it and shut down all unproductive media.
SpongeBot: WHAT?!!
Primitive: We really need to stop that penguin.
Polar: I thought he was a banana.
Matchy: I guess it doesn't really matter what he is. We need to stop him.
???: We need to stop who now?
[The four turn around to see Ian rise out of the shadows.]
Ian: Oh, visitors, nice.
Matchy: Oh, and you are?
Ian: Hey all, Ian here.
Primitive: Hey. You're down here too?
Ian: Yeah… I definitely don't live down here or anything.
[pause]
Ian: Anyway… what are you all doing here?
Primitive: We're kind of in the middle of a war thing with ESB or something.
Ian: Oh, nice. Where's Jasbre?
Matchy: Doesn't matter, we need to stop Golfpecks before it's too late!
Ian: Don't you worry. I have a special weapon in case of emergencies like this.
[BigBob steps out of the shadows.]
BigBob: DID SOMEBODY SAY ANAL VORE?!?!??!?
SpongeBot: That depends.
Ian: BigBob here specializes in cock and ball torture.
Polar: You seem pretty unfazed about this entire, uh, world ending thing.
SpongeBot: Yeah, I mean this is worse than the Fox Kids Vs Temmie Central War!
Ian: Eh, it happens. You just have to- TWOTRUCKSHAVINGSEX -go with the flow.
BigBob: WANNA TALK ABOUT FORESKIN?!?!
Primitive: Not particularly.
Polar: So what now?
Matchy: Well I mean we should probably come up with a plan.
Ian: Yeah, sorry, I was just getting to that. (he takes his phone out) First I should probably check the news to see what I've missed. 
[Ian loads up a news website but it's flooded with reports about the stock market.]
Ian: What, wha- are you guys pranking me or something?
Matchy: No, no, Golfpecks took over Box Productions.
Ian: Oh right, they own almost everything.
SpongeBot: And basically so does he.
Matchy: CPTV is still going, but it's hard to access out of fear of Golf. You'd be surprised how many people have died in this short amount of time.
Ian: Well that helps. Wait, it says here that Golfpecks is going to "finalize a business deal with President Arre to take over the wiki".
Polar: Oof.
Ian: Looks like he's gonna power abuse hard.
SpongeBot: Not that we'd know anything about that, The World of SBFW is a stable wiki with no abuse of power whatsoever.
Lock: (offscreen) YOU SAY YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEATLES?! THAT'S A MUTE!
Matchy: I guess we're gonna have to go and stop him then.
Polar: Pfft, yeah right. We have no chance.
Ian: Polar's right.
Polar: Yeah, I- wait wut? I'm actually right for once?
Ian: Yeah, it's too late. 
Polar: Oh.
[Cut to Golfpecks spinning around in Arre's spinny chair. Arre is tied up with CrazySponge in the corner.]
Golfpecks: I win! I win! I win!
TheKorraFanatic: Don't you mean we win?
Golfpecks: Sure, that was the deal. Now that I'm president we can get all the revenge we want!
CrazySponge: is it just me or does this not look good
Arre: I mean to be fair I locked everyone up in horny jail back in November, so this isn't really much of a downgrade.
Spongebob456: May I suggest that as our first order of business we command all sexual degeneracy to be put to an end?
CrazySponge: WHAT?!!!
Golfpecks: That's profound! But what if we command all sexual degeneracy to be put to an end? Oh, Golfpecks, you really don't give yourself that much credit. 
TheKorraFanatic: Of course you don't.
Golfpecks: Of course we should add a clause exempting me from all laws, not that I intend to break any.
CrazySponge: you won't get away with this!
Golfpecks: Oh, I just-
Arre: Please don't say you just did.
Golfpecks: I just did. And it's not like you delinquents can do anything to stop me. The self-proclaimed craziest sponge of them all over here just stood and watched his entire enterprise be thrown away. And Ari-
Arre: Arre.
Golfpecks: You just watched yours get thrown away.
Arre: What are you even accomplishing here? The war isn't over, people are still out there fighting, lives have been lost, and I'm pretty sure people will be back for you.
Golfpecks: Pfff, yeah right. What group of nincompoops could possibly think of challenging me now?
[Cut back to Jasbre's bunker. Ian has laid out a giant map of SBFW Tower on a table.]
Primitive: What's SBFW Tower?
Ian: I dunno. From what I've heard, it's a tall, important-looking building.
Polar: I remember a tall, important-looking building in the first episode.
Primitive: Ah, you mean the tower we've never really brought back up again until now?
Ian: I suppose. I wouldn't know, I don't watch this show.
Matchy: Do yourself a favor and do so.
Primitive: We're just wrapping up on season one now.
SpongeBot: That's more than I've ever done.
Ian: Anyways, this here is our infiltration map.
SpongeBot: Golfpecks looks pretty sus.
Primitive: I get it.
Ian: InnerSloth jokes aside for now.
Matchy: Golf should be positioned at the top, right?
Ian: I mean unless he moves by the time we sneak in.
Polar: He'll be up there, he's full of himself, unlike me. 
Ian: Right. Anyway, we'll sneak in from a sewerhole in SBFW Street that just so happens to connect to one of the toilets in the restroom. 
Polar: That's one shitty-
Matchy: Please spare us.
Ian: After that, we'll ambush some guards and disguise ourselves, and finally, go up to the top floor, defeat Golf, and wrap up season one.
Matchy: Sounds foolproof to me.
Primitive: I mean we have to fill an entire second-part of a double episode with that, so something's probably gonna go wrong.
SpongeBot: Wait, are we just gonna end the first part here?
Primitive: We reached 24 pages. It's only natural to end here.
Matchy: Alright, but what are we gonna do while we wait for the second part to come out?
Ian: I mean we could lounge around, I could show you some of my collection.
Primitive: No… we're gonna prepare, and take back what is ours.
Ian: For this damn wiki.
All: For this damn wiki!
[The camera starts panning out.]
Matchy: Nice ending.
Ian: Thanks, it's kinda cliché but it works.
[Fade in a shot of the FANDOM building. An admin is sitting at their desk aimlessly drinking a mug of coffee. A light suddenly blinks on his computer screen.]
FANDOM Admin: Huh? Hey, Dave!
[Another admin approaches him.]
FANDOM Admin 2: Yeah?
FANDOM Admin: One of our fanfiction wikis of a children's TV show is kinda, kinda at war. Should- should we do something about it?
[pause]
FANDOM Admin 2: Nah, they'll sort themselves out.
[The two bash mugs and laugh. Cut to Golfpecks in the spinny chair.]
Golfpecks: I won, you lost. Ha ha ha.
[TheKorraFanatic and Spongebob456 burst through the door.]
Golfpecks: Hey, what's the big idea? Can't you see I'm gloating here?
TheKorraFanatic: We have a little problem.
Spongebob456: We've been informed that a team of users is planning to infiltrate the place.
Golfpecks: Oh ho ho, is that so? Well then, we'd better get our men ready and prepare the solution to the SpongeBob Fanon Wiki question.
TheKorraFanatic and Spongebob456: Uh…
Golfpecks: This is gonna be fun…
[Spongebob456 pulls TheKorraFanatic to the side.]
Spongebob456: Hey, uh, Korra?
TheKorraFanatic: Mhm?
Spongebob456: Remember World War II?
TheKorraFanatic: Yeah.
Spongebob456: Don't you think, uh, this… whole thing could, uh, probably be compared to that?
TheKorraFanatic: Uh, su- Wait. Oh no. OH NO!
Spongebob456: We should probably do something about Golfpecks.
TheKorraFanatic: You don't mean… switching sides?!
Spongebob456: Well, uh, I wouldn't-
TheKorraFanatic: You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you come to this conclusion.
Spongebob456: Then let's wait for the perfect moment to strike. (He looks outside the window towards the Jasbre Corp. building) And I know just when to do it.
[To be continued.]
==Part 2==
World Wars (Part 2) is the second part of the twelfth and final episode of Season One of The World of SBFW.
===Transcript===
[Last time…]
Spongebob456: I think you and I both know us Encyclopedia SpongeBobians have a long lineage of hatred for The World of SBFW, and you come here suggesting war? I'm listening.
Spongebob456: I want to reassure everyone that this was not my idea. I did everything in my power to prevent this from happening! However, this is serious and I do dare to say that this… is war.
Paul Renaud: Seeing as how Golfpecks owns around 60% of The World of SBFW, it's safe to say that the end may be near.
BigBob: WANNA TALK ABOUT FORESKIN?!?!
Ian: Well that helps. Wait, it says here that Golfpecks is going to "finalize a business deal with President Arre to take over the wiki".
Primitive: No… we're gonna prepare, and take back what is ours.
All: For this damn wiki!
Spongebob456: We should probably do something about Golfpecks.
TheKorraFanatic: You don't mean… switching sides?!
Matchy: Alright, enough flashbacks! I just want to get on with the episode!
[Fair enough. The episode begins at Jasbre's bunker, where The SBFW Team is training.]
Primitive: Really? The SBFW Team??? That's a stupid name.
Polar: I'm sorry! It was all I could come up with! (sobs)
Ian: Does it really matter what the name of our team is? We have a war to win here!
Matchy: Yeah, so why are we currently playing Club Penguin: Game Day on the Wii?
Primitive: What? I like it.
[Ian turns the Wii off.]
Ian: So do I, but Matchy has a point.
SpongeBot: Yeah! Let's play We Dare instead.
Primitive: Sounds good to me.
Matchy: Listen. Unless we get training for the Golfpecks Infiltration, Golfpecks is gonna win and The World of SBFW is gonna be GraniteToast.
Primitive: Not like I have a problem with that. I gotta work on that SpongeBob jail spin-off.
Polar: I'm personally fucking terrified of all capacity for rational thought, but we really need to make like the guy on the ten dollar bill and not throw away our shot. We could do this.
Primitive: Really?
Polar: Probably not. That was just my poor attempt at a pre-war speech.
Ian: Okay, so what are we waiting for?
SpongeBot: (sigh) Fine. But can't we just have one game of this mismarketed sex game first?
Matchy: Okay fine, that's fair enough.
[Cut to a shot of SBFW Tower. Several users are dueling outside.]
ThePowerOfInfinity: You monsters took everything away from me!
AlexKidd8: uhhhh what now?
ThePowerOfInfinity: Sorry, I'm just trying to sound dramatic.
AlexKidd8: oh, okay. 
ThePowerOfInfinity: You will never get away with this!
[Cut to Golfpecks watching the fight from the top floor.]
Golfpecks: Look at those peasants fighting. It really is my world, and we're all living in it. I've finally got everything I ever wanted, what's their problem?
TheKorraFanatic: I mean you could just deal with them yourself.
Golfpecks: I single-handedly took over the wiki, I've done enough. (he hits himself) Agh! That stupid theme song is giving me tinnitus! Numbers, next thing on our to-do-list is to outlaw music, now.
Spongebob456: Actually, uh, I wanted to speak with you, Golfpecks sir.
Golfpecks: So did I. You've been a rather good… help to me. I was thinking you could help me set up an actual congress for this place. 
Spongebob456: Oh wow, that's great!
TheKorraFanatic: Huh, it always came across to me that your idea of running this place was more like a dictatorship.
Spongebob456: Who cares? I'm important!
Golfpecks: Yeah whatever, right under me, of course.
Spongebob456: I don't know what to say. Could- could I just use the bathroom for a moment?
Golfpecks: Uh sure.
Spongebob456: Thanks.
[Spongebob456 signals over to TheKorraFanatic.]
TheKorraFanatic: Oh, uh, I also have to go and help him wipe.
[Spongebob456 pulls TheKorraFanatic over to a nearby window.]
TheKorraFanatic: Wha-?
Spongebob456: Remember those SBFW users that were gonna fight against Golf?
TheKorraFanatic: Uh… vaguely, but yes.
Spongebob456: They're commencing their plan right now, so I think it's about time we start ours.
Golfpecks: Hey, what are you two talking about?
TheKorraFanatic: Uh… about how juicy strawberries are?
Golfpecks: (chuckles) Well, they are very juicy, and rapable, if I do say so myself.
Spongebob456: Uh… sure.
[They look back outside the window. Zoom-in to the window, where The SBFW Team is executing their plan at SBFW Street.]
Primitive: I still think The SBFW Team is a dumb name.
Polar: Meanie. (She slaps his arm)
Primitive: Ouch.
SpongeBot: So we just need to get over there somehow?
Ian: That's the plan, anyway.
Matchy: Lucky for us Infinity is unintentionally providing a decent distraction.
[The group flinch as a gunshot is heard.]
Polar: ...and he's dead. Oof.
SpongeBot: I just watched a man die, what did you do today?
Matchy: Hey, what was the plan anyway?
Ian: Uhhhhh…
[Flashback to part one.]
Ian: Right. Anyway, we'll sneak in from a sewerhole in SBFW Street that just so happens to connect to one of the toilets in the restroom.
Polar: That's one shitty-
Matchy: Please spare us.
Ian: After that, we'll ambush some guards and disguise ourselves, and finally, go up to the top floor, defeat Golf, and wrap up season one.
[Flashback over.]
SpongeBot: Woah, that was some flashback.
Ian: Okay, I am now seeing that just maybe we could have planned this out better.
Primitive: You have to admit We Dare was fun though, right?
Polar: Yeah. 
Matchy: So we just need to get over to a sewer hole?
Ian: Basically.
[The camera pans over the Stryker and Oct0Yoshi marching up and down the street.]
Polar: How are we gonna do that without getting noticed by anyone? 
Ian: Well, sometimes we need to be willing to make sacrifices.
Primitive: Let's send Polar as bait!
Polar: What?!
SpongeBot: No, no, wait, I got this.
[SpongeBot throws a stone over to the two.]
SpongeBot: FUCK!!!!
Oct0Yoshi: Huh? Who said that?!
[The two look over to The SBFW Team's direction but see nothing.]
Stryker: Someone said a bad word!
[Stryker turns to Oct0Yoshi.]
Oct0Yoshi: Um, why are you looking at me like that?
Stryker: It was you, wasn't it?!
Oct0Yoshi: No, why would I-
Stryker: You thought you could get away with saying a no-no word just because we're on the same team, didn't you?
[Oct0Yoshi starts nervously sweating.]
Oct0Yoshi: No, I wouldn't dare-
[Stryker tries to load their gun but realises they are out of bullets.]
Stryker: Damn! I'm out of amm-
Oct0Yoshi: (gasp) You said a-
Stryker: Lies!! Lies!!
[The two continue arguing.]
SpongeBot: I think we're good.
[The group get up and start sneaking across the sidewalk and across the street.]
Ian: Oh dear, there's just one teeny tiny problem.
Matchy: And what would that be?
[Zoom out to reveal hundreds of sewer holes.]
Primitive: That's a lot of sewer holes.
Ian: …and I don't remember which one led to SBFW Tower.
Primitive: Welp, there's only one way to find out.
[Primitive goes into a sewer hole, where satanic screaming and laughing is heard. Primitive rushes out.]
Primitive: Okay, note to self. Do NOT go back into sewer hole #66.
Polar: What did you see?
Primitive: A lot of demons, and… a bunch of squids with cult-ish clothes.
Lock: Mmm, sounds hot.
[Lock is shot and she fucking dies.]
Stryker: Hands up!
Polar: Shhhhhhhh-ugar!
Oct0Yoshi: (gasp) It was you who said the bad word!
Stryker: Unacceptable. Prepare to die!
Primitive: Can't we work something ou-
[A bullet is fired at him, but it barely misses.]
Primitive: Ha! Writer privileges!
Ian: Looks like we're gonna have to fight if we wanna get out of this pickle.
Primitive: Our first action scene and we don't even have Purps for it. Lazy asshole.
Polar: I don't think you should-
Primitive: SHUT UP!
[pause]
Primitive: Sorry. Action scenes make me cranky.
Stryker: So are you gonna surrender or not?
Oct0Yoshi: You know, we really need your consent in order to shoot you. We may be on the other side and all, but we have hearts too-
[Ian shoots both of them and they fucking die.]
SpongeBot: Damn.
Matchy: You said it, amiga.
Ian: Chip.
[pause]
Ian: So… sewers?
All: Sewers.
[Primitive goes into another sewer hole. He heads out once he hears moaning noises.]
Polar: Where did it lead to now?
Primitive: Sewer hole #69. It led to Spectromite Entertainment HQ.
SpongeBot: Ooh! Let me see.
Matchy: SpongeBot…
Primitive: I must say their dildos are immaculate though.
Polar: We might be here a while.
[PoopFan69 pops up from a sewerhole.]
PoopFan69: Hello!
[Polar screams.]
Polar: Oh, it's just PoopFan.
SpongeBot: Hi.
PoopFan69: I hate poop now. Character development, am I right?
Primitive: Sure.
PoopFan69: Anyway, what's going on?
Ian: Um, I don't know if you heard but there's kind of a war going on right now.
PoopFan69: Oh, I wondered what those loud farts were!
Matchy: Do you know if any of these sewers lead to SBFW Tower?
PoopFan69: What's SBFW Tower?
SpongeBot: It's a tower, and it's also SBFW. 
PoopFan69: Oh, you mean that one!
Ian: Yeah, yeah, can you just lead us to it please so we can move the episode along?
PoopFan69: Sure, I know these sewers inside and out. But I wish I didn't because they all have poop in them!
[Cut to PoopFan69 leading The SBFW Team through a sewer.]
Primitive: Y'know, I still-
Polar: Be quiet.
PoopFan69: I'm an alcoholic.
SpongeBot: Good for you.
Primitive: So how long until we get there?
PoopFan69: Not long.
[They reach the end of the sewer.]
Matchy: Ah, here we are.
[Matchy pops up the sewer to find Hoopla on a beach.]
Hoopla: sup.
Polar: Shit! Wrong sewer!
PoopFan69: Hm, I'm sure I saw a large tower somewhere here.
Hoopla: you must have seen my MASSIVE CO-
[He gets crushed by a house.]
Primitive: Well, I guess we had to get the CrazySponge died joke out the way.
[Cut to PoopFan69 leading The SBFW Team down another sewer.]
SpongeBot: Are you sure this is the right sewer this time?
PoopFan69: Not really. They all look the same to me. What's a sewer?
[They reach the end of the sewer and come out at a toilet.]
Ian: This looks promising. 
Matchy: Well thank fuck for that.
[The group climbs out of the toilet. Why is that not the weirdest thing I've had to type for this show?]
PoopFan69: I'll see you later!
[PoopFan69 flushes himself down the toilet.]
Ian: What a strange man.
Polar: Ah, a bathroom. I wanna meet the person who invented gender to sell more of these.
Primitive: Okay, so what now?
Ian: (sigh) Do we have to do a flashback everytime we complete a phase of the plan?
Primitive: Pretty much.
[Flashback.]
Ian: After that, we'll ambush some guards and disguise ourselves, and finally, go up to the top floor, defeat Golf, and wrap up season one.
[Flashback over.]
Polar: I do love a good flashback.
SpongeBot: I preferred the manga myself though to be honest.
Primitive: Do you see any guards nearby?
Ian: Not at the moment I don't.
[Two guards appear out of nowhere. They look suspiciously similar to the guards seen in No Nut November.]
Alpha: Played any good video games lately?
Jo: Only Smash Bros.
Alpha: Me too.
Primitive: How are we supposed to disguise ourselves? There's only two of them and, like, five of us! We can't evenly split two outfits among five users.
Ian: Who said I was gonna come with you?
Primitive: Wait, you're just leaving? You're not gonna stay to help?
Ian: Nope. I have more important things to do. See yah.
[Ian flushes himself down the toilet as well.]
Polar: So like what happened with BigBob from the last episode?
Primitive: Eh, at least now we have one less person to worry about.
Matchy: And one less person on our side. This is going great.
Alpha: What's going great?
[The SBFW Team screams.]
Primitive: Once again, I hate this name.
Jo: What name?
Primitive: The SBFW Team. It's our… codename, kinda. The guy who writes the stuff in the brackets just said it.
[It is true.]
Alpha: Woah. You can talk to them?
Matchy: Look, I don't care. Prim, why are you sharing our information with the enemy?
Alpha: We're the enemy?
Primitive: Relax, they seem chill.
Jo: Life has been weird since Golfpecks took over, but we've gotten by.
Alpha: On one hand, the world is ending, on the other hand we got new jobs. So shit works out I guess.
SpongeBot: So… shouldn't you be attacking us?
Jo: Why would we do that? We're just here to act busy and take the penguin's money.
Matchy: You mean if we just walked on by you wouldn't blink an eye?
Alpha: Eh sure, whatever.
Jo: But I mean good luck getting past them.
[The camera pans over to several ESB users holding baseball bats.]
Matchy: Oh…
Primitive: So what was the plan again?
[Flashback.]
Primitive: So what was the plan again?'
[Flashback over.]
Matchy: Eh, let's just run at them and hope we don't meet Satan.
Primitive: Seems foolproof to me. CHARGE!
[Primitive runs screaming at them. We hear him getting beat up off screen and comes back with several bruises and injuries.]
Primitive: Okay, maybe it's not foolproof.
[Primitive gets handcuffed.]
Primitive: Alright, it's definitely not foolproof.
SpongeBot: FUCKING RUN!!
[The rest of The SBFW Team, Alpha and Jo run off as the ESB guards chase them. Primitive is left with Gamer numbers and Lorireviewer.]
Primitive: Oh, run off without me. I see how it is.
Gamer numbers: Don't worry, we have a nice spot for you.
[The ESB users cock their guns and aim at Primitive, who raises his hands.]
Primitive: Heh heh, maybe we can work something out? Negotiate?
[After a pause, the two put their guns down.]
Lorireviewer: What did you have in mind?
[Cut to The SBFW Team fleeing down a hallway.]
Matchy: What ever happened to sticking together?!
SpongeBot: I dunno, I'm not good with life or death decisions!
Alpha: Wait a minute, why are we running from them?
Jo: Eh, I gotta get my steps in for today anyway.
Polar: I feel like we've forgotten someone.
[pause]
Polar: Eh. Probably nothing.
[They turn around and see they are still being chased.]
SpongeBot: Oof.
[The group turn down the hallway and begin running towards an elevator.]
Matchy: We could make it!
Polar: What? Are you cra-
[Bullets start shooting at them.]
SpongeBot: That doesn't sound goo-
[Polar gets hit in the leg and falls to the floor.]
Jo: (completely unfazed) Oh dear.
Polar: Go, go on without me!
[Pan over to the rest of the group still running off.]
Polar: Oh okay.
[The group arrives at the elevator, Matchy keeps repeatedly mashing the button to open the doors.]
Matchy: Come on, come on!
Passive-Aggressive Voice: Doors opening.
[The doors open and the group hurry in. Matchy begins spamming the button to close the doors again.]
Passive-Aggressive Voice: Doors closing. 
[One of the ESB users throws their baseball bat towards the elevator, hitting one of Alpha. Several bullets hit the doors as they close.]
Passive-Aggressive Voice: Going up…
[The group of ESB users stop at the door.]
DefunctJames: Dang! We're too late! Stupid convenient and lazy writing!
[Cut to what's left of The SBFW Team, Jo and a barely conscious Alpha in the elevator. A remix of Crank That (Soulja Boy) is playing.]
Matchy: Now we've lost Polar.
SpongeBot: Not like I have a problem with that.
Matchy: Honestly there are probably better people who could have been tasked to save the wiki but oh well.
SpongeBot: What was the plan again?
Matchy: What plan?
[The two glance down at Alpha and Jo.]
Jo: Hi.
Matchy: ...so, uh… would you mind if we borrowed your clothes?
[Alpha and Jo look at each other and nod in agreement.]
Jo: Sure, that doesn't sound creepy at all.
Alpha: My head hurts.
[Cut to a shot of the top floor. The elevator opens to reveal Matchy and SpongeBot disguised as Alpha and Jo.]
SpongeBot: Which one am I again?
Matchy: They're throwaway original characters in a userfic, I don't think anyone would be able to tell if we don't act like them.
SpongeBot: But- they're not original. They're satirical versions of real life YouTubers.
Matchy: Whatever.
[Cut to Primitive and Polar writing the episode.]
Polar: Why have I only just realised that?
[Primitive shrugs. Cut back to the episode. The two begin walking down the hallway. They look out the window to see another fight breaking out.]
SpongeBot: (sigh) I can't believe Golfpecks actually had the competence to take over the wiki.
Matchy: You're acting like fights don't break out every other day anyway. Sorry, I'm just really stressed.
SpongeBot: Me too. I need Channel 5 in my life for my body to function properly.
[Two guards come into view. One of them is limping.]
Matchy: (whispering) Oh, here come some other guards now. Act natural.
SpongeBot: Hello fellow guards. Wonderful weather we're having.
Guard 1: Indeed. It's a very good day for… guarding.
Guard 2: Uh, yeah.
Matchy: Hey, wait a second… your voices sound familiar.
Guard 1: Really? Is it because… 
[The guard puts his head up, revealing he's actually Primitive.]
Primitive: I'm someone you know?
[Matchy slaps Primitive.]
Matchy: Prim! How dare you betray us like this!
Primitive: No, no! I'm not the traitor!
[Lorireviewer and Gamer numbers walk down the hallway.]
Primitive: They are.
Matchy: Oh, sorry…
SpongeBot: This is the quickest fakeout loss of someone I've ever seen.
Primitive: Yeah, I love lazy writing.
Matchy: So who's the other guard?
Primitive: Oh, that's Polar.
[The second guard lifts their head up to reveal Golfpecks.]
Golfpecks: Are you sure about that?
Primitive: AAH!
[Primitive shoots Golfpecks in the head. Pause.]
SpongeBot: Oh. Well, I'm glad that's over with.
Matchy: Is… is that it?
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) Of course it isn't, you delinquent.
SpongeBot: Nevermind. That's the quickest fakeout loss of someone I've ever seen.
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) That wasn't me you damn fools just shot.
Primitive: It wasn't?
["Golfpecks" takes off their mask to reveal PoopFan69.]
Matchy: wait wut
Primitive: Et tu, PoopFan?
PoopFan69: You said if I wore the penguin mask you would make sex illegal!
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) I did, and I'm going to. But your idiocy also bought me more time.
Matchy: Okay, I'm confused. 
SpongeBot: Yeah all these twists are weird.
Primitive: And if PoopFan isn't Polar, then where is she?
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) Oh, I took care of her. I caught her creeping around with two of my so-called friends.
[Cut to Spongebob456, TheKorraFanatic and Polar locked up in a cell somewhere, with Arre and CrazySponge from the first part. Polar has a bandage over her leg.]
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) Nasty little traitors. Thought they could sneak off and overthrow ol' Mr. Pecks.
Polar: So much for your epic plan, huh?
[Cut back to the hallway.]
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) You will never stop me.
Primitive: Oh, we can. And we will.
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) Oh really? Guards, seize them!
[Gamer numbers and TheLoriReviewer stand motionless.]
Golfpecks: (over the intercom, sighs) They've bailed on me too, haven't they?
TheLoriReviewer: Pretty much, yeah.
Golfpecks: (over the intercom) Well, they always said that if you want a job done right, you need to do it yourself.
[The intercom suddenly turns off and footsteps are heard from the stairway.]
Golfpecks: (sigh) Stupid stairs.
[Golfpecks reaches the top of the stairs and enters the hallway.]
Golfpecks: Here's Golfy!
[Primitive turns to the others and gulps.]
Matchy: Don't worry, he's Golf. How hard can it be?
Primitive: Fuck you.
Matchy: What did I do-
[Golfpecks rips off his shirt, revealing his large and muscular body, and he charges towards the group.]
Primitive: Oh no, he's hot!
[SpongeBot grabs Prim's gun and aims it at Golfpecks, but he grabs it off of her and snaps it in half. Cut to Spongebob456, TheKorraFanatic, Polar, Arre and CrazySponge in the cell.]
TheKorraFanatic: Well, I told you not to trust this penguin and look how that got us!
Spongebob456: He graduated from Harvard, can you blame me? I thought taking over this wiki would make me feel accomplished but I just wish none of this ever happened. 
CrazySponge: ha, stupid mortals.
Arre: You two can argue as much as you want later, Golf has killed loads of people and who says we're not next? We need to get out of here.
Polar: And how do we do that?
Arre: I have no idea.
[Cut back to The SBFW Team pathetically trying to combat Golf.]
SpongeBot: Are we seriously all out of guns? I don't really like killing people but-
TheLoriReviewer: We dropped them when we made a truce.
Primitive: That's the last time I ask for help from an Encyclopedia SpongeBobian.
[Cut back to the cell. Polar is listening to some dumb music downloaded on her phone to pass the time.]
TheKorraFanatic: I- we could, um… dig our way out!
Arre: Ugh, that would take ages!
TheKorraFanatic: Do you have any better ideas?
Arre: Are there any vents in here we could use?
Spongebob456: Who would put an easily accessible vent in a prison cell?
[Cut to Matchy fighting Golfpecks. Golfpecks smash attacks Matchy several times, before she finally shields and uses a special on him. A smash ball falls from the ceiling and, upon hitting it, Golfpecks unleashes his final smash on Matchy, knocking her unconscious.]
Primitive: Liz!
[Cut back to the cell.]
CrazySponge: forget about getting out of here, how did you get in' here anyway, polar?
[Polar takes her headphones off.]
Polar: Oh, we used the sewers.
Arre: Ew.
Polar: I know, right? It was Ian's idea.
Spongebob456: Who?
Polar: He's this- (she glances over to the cell's toilet) wait a minute!
TheKorraFanatic: No, no, no! You're not suggesting we flush ourselves down the toilet?
Arre: How is that even possible?
Polar: Trust me, we'll end up on SBFW Street and we can go through another sewer to get back in.
Arre: Or we could just do my idea with the vents.
Polar: Yeah, but there isn't a vent in the c-
[She looks over to see a vent in the cell.]
Polar: Damn.
[A jelly-bean like alien impostor thing comes out of the vents and kills CrazySponge. Everyone else looks on in discomfort.]
Arre: Fine, we'll take the sewers.
[Cut back to The SBFW Team fighting in the hallway. Several users look up to the window from the ground floor.]
Purple: Look! They're taking on Golfpecks!
Oct0Yoshi: They are? I mean, they are! We're free!
Dan: Nope. One of them just died.
Stryker: Hooray! 
[The three turn to Stryker.]
Stryker: What? Golf passed some anti-bad word laws earlier.
[Cut to SpongeBot running away from Golfpecks.]
SpongeBot: We're doomed! We're doomed!
[Not looking where she is going, SpongeBot bumps into Arre, Polar, TheKorraFanatic and Spongebob456 who have escaped from their cell, and are also covered in sewer stuff.]
SpongeBot: Oh thank fuck! 
[SpongeBot hides behind them.]
SpongeBot: Protect me, please!
Golfpecks: What?! How'd you escape?
Arre: Lazy writing mostly.
Golfpecks: Nevermind, just more people to finish off I guess.
Arre: Okay, wise gal. What do we do now?
Polar: I don't know, I assumed something bad would happen on the way here.
Spongebob456: Well we have to find a weakness or something!
[SpongeBot looks down at Polar's phone and headphones.]
SpongeBot: Wait a minute…
[SpongeBot snatches the phone from Polar's pocket.]
Polar: Hey! What are you-
[SpongeBot grins as she begins to blast earrape Crazy Frog from the phone at full volume.]
Golfpecks: What the-
[Golfpecks starts covering his ears and falls to the floor.]
Golfpecks: NO, BANANA LAND! I HAVE TINNITUS! I'M LOSING NE SENSE IF BALAC!
[Golfpecks' ripped and muscular body suddenly fades away.]
Arre: Well, MP Auger, you've done it again.
[Alex.sapre walks on screen.]
Alex: Hey, anyone know where the bathroom i- OH MY GOODNESS!
Golfpecks: MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!
[Alex takes out a phone]
Alex: FREEZE EVERYONE IN THE ROOM EXCEPT FOR GOLFPECKS!
[Everyone freezes, even the music, except for Alex and Golfpecks.]
Golfpecks: Oh, thank you. Bless you. And, say, how did you freeze everyone?
[Alex holds his phone up]
Alex: Elucidator.
[Cut to Primitive and Polar, again, writing the episode.]
Polar: A lucid what?
Primitive: I had to make a reference one way or another.
Polar: Ohhhhh okay.
[Cut back to Alex, Golfpecks, and everyone else.]
Golfpecks: Well then, with these "Elucidators", taking over The World of SBFW will be a piece of cake!
Alex: Uh, yeah.
[Primitive comes out from behind the corner and hits Alex with an empty lasagna pan, knocking him out.]
Primitive: Only I can make The Missing references, buddy.
Golfpecks: Hey, how did you-
Primitive: Unfreeze everyone, Elucidator.
[Everyone unfreezes. The music continues, and Golfpecks covers his ears again.]
Golfpecks: AGH! MAKE IT STOP!
Polar: On one condition.
[Cut to the ESB users preparing to fly home on SBFW Street, which has since been repaired since the war. Purple wheels Golfpecks in, who is tied to a wheelbarrow.]
Golfpecks: I NEVER AGREED TO THIS! I WILL RULE YOU ALL!
Matchy: Wow, I'm so glad everything is magically fixed and we're all alive again.
CartoonGuy: Me too. Dying is the worst.
CrazySponge: you said it buddy. anyway, im gonna go jack off to roxanne and fortnite porn
SpongeBot: But you'll miss the big send-off!
CrazySponge: this is more important
Lock: Whatever as long as you shut up.
Dan: AND STOP BEING A SEXUAL DEGENERATE!
[Dan kicks CrazySponge into the stratosphere. Arre walks into a stage, addressing the crowd.]
Arre: Ahem. We know the past few [insert amount of time here]s have been… strange. But we all pushed through it and despite most the city being completely destroyed, I am glad to say that once again thanks to lazy writing we have completely recovered and have made peace with ESB.
[The crowd cheers.]
Polar: Wow, that's great.
Primitive: Well in The World of SBFW imagination does become reality. 
Polar: Wait, couldn't we have just imagined the war was over this entire time then?
Matchy: It's nice when things work out.
Polar: Couldn't we have just imagined the war was over this entire time then?
Ace: This calls for a party! Hey, Polar, wanna kiss?
Polar: No, thank you.
Arre: -and so I'd like to welcome up on the stage the heroine who saved us all, SpongeBot678.
[SpongeBot walks into the stage to mass applause.]
SpongeBot: Wow, gee thanks. I don't know what to say really. I guess Crazy Frog really does solve all your problems. But, to be honest… it wasn't just me. I couldn't have done it without my… "friends".
Lock: Boo!
Dan: Skip the cheese and end the episode already!
SpongeBot: Matchy, Primitive, Polar, Ian, PoopFan, CrazySponge… okay not CrazySponge, and EB the Original Master. 
EB: Finally I get the recognition I deserve!
SpongeBot: I'd like to thank my mom, my dad, my brother, Oscar and the Channel 5 announcer for supporting me the whole way.
Oscar: woof
SpongeBot: You said it, buddy!
[The crowd cheers.]
Arre: Thank you, MP Auger. It is now time for the moment we've all been waiting for, it's time to send the SpongeBobian scum back where they came from!
Stryker: Hey! That's not nice!
[The ESB users begin walking into a new, much bigger rocket ship to go home.]
Primitive: So long, friends! Remember to watch !
Spongebob456: Bye, we regret nothing!
[Purple wheels Golfpecks in after them.]
Golfpecks: NO! NOT ME! WE CAN NEGOTIATE! I SWEAR I WON'T TRY THIS AGA-
[Purple slams the door on him and the rocket begins blasting off.]
Primitive: Well, I guess it's all over now.
Dan: I can't wait for this to be never brought back up again in a future episode.
Zoltan: So uh… what now?
Polar: Well, for one, I'm finally free from having to write The World of SBFW! I can finally move on with my life and write my own shitty sponge spin-offs!
Primitive: Actually…
[Primitive points behind him. The camera scrolls over to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, and Helen the Felon in jail clothes.]
SpongeBob: Hi.
Polar: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
CartoonGuy: Dance party ending, anyone?
Zoltan: Sure.
[Everyone cranks that Soulja Boy as the credits roll. The goddamn end.]
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