All Aboard!

All Aboard! Is The First Episode Of Total Drama: Express Tour.
== Transcript ==
Chris McLean, Total Drama’s Original Host, Is Standing On A Train Station, Grinning As Madly As Ever.
Chris - Welcome Back! Total Drama Has, Officaly, Been Renewed. And At The Controls Again Is Me, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Host With The Most, Chris McLean. 
He Walks Through The Station.
Chris - As Most Of You Know, I Wasn’t The Host Of Our Recent Spin-Off, The Ridonculous Race, That Was Because Due To A Few Wet Blankets From Our Last Season, I Was Fired And Placed In An Insane Asylum. But Don’t Worry, Thanks To My, Unbeatable, Team Of Lawyers, I’ve Been Bailed Out. (His Eye Twiches) 
He Stands Near A Massive Object, Covered With A Massive White Sheet 
Chris - We’re Gonna Do A World Tour Season, And That Means We’re Going Around The World... Again! But, Due To A Pandemic, Conveniently Named COVID-19, We’ve Had To Scale The Season Down To Just The Good Ole, U.S. And, With The Jumbo Jet Out Of Commission, Find Another Means Of Transport.
He Pulls Back The Cover.
Chris - Behold, The Chris McTrain! (Honest) I Know, It’s Messy, And Weird, Not To Mention Unsafe. (Leans Against It) But Don’t Worry, We’ve Taken Nearly Every Single Pre-Caution To Make Absolute Sure, That This Big Boy’s 100% Derailment Free.
A Metal Panel Falls Off, And A Mega Blast Of Steam Shoots Out, Hitting Chris.
Chris - (Coughing And Spluttering) I Said Nearly!
He Stands Near The Train, Now Back To Normal And Grinning.
Chris - Who Will We Get To Compete This Season? What insane challenges will they face? (Irritated) And When Will My Good Buddy, Chef, Get His Next Paycheck? (Happy, Again) Welcome Aboard... TOTAL! DRAMA! EXPRESS TOUR!!! 
After The Intro, Chris Is Still Standing Near The Chris McTrain.
Chris - I Know What Your Thinking, If We’re Going To Do A World Tour, Then We Need An All-Star Cast That Can Handle The Pressure. Well, When We Tried To Find Said Cast, There Was A Problem. During The Utter Failure That Was The Ridonculous Race, Most Of My Contestants, Decided To... Errrrrr, Wash Their Hair. (Smiles, Then Groans In Defeat) Who Am I Kidding? They Quitted On Me! 
His Smile, Suddenly, Reappears.
Chris - But Don’t Fret, A Small Hand-Full Of Campers Decided To Renew Their Contracts. But, They Had A Major Ground Rule For Me: I Have To Give Them £1,000,000 Paycheques After Every, Single, Episode.