Chapter 2/transcript

==Episode 2==
 Terry the Bubble wakes up in his apartment at 6am. He stretches, yawns and slumps out of bed. The apartment is notably shabby and windowless. This is because it is actually a room down in the basement that he is now renting out.
 He makes his way to his door to see he has some mail, though when he picks it up, he lets out a sad sigh, to see that it is just a letter reminding him his rent is overdue and he is at risk of being evicted.
----
At the scene of the obliterated candy store early in the morning, a crowd has gathered. Police tape is up and surrounding the area.
 Sacha Anoose is live on the scene reporting for the neighbourhood news.
 “welcome back to the neighbourhood news, where just last night, it has been confirmed that the notorious supervillain BAGhead was sighted in the town robbing the bank”
 “on top of this, the local candy store was obliterated at the same time, killing the store’s owner mr. twix”
 Quenton Steel, the chief of police, prepares to address the crowd.
 Officer Taits, a young attractive woman, is standing by his side, her breasts receiving more attention than him.
 “people people, i know you are all concerned as to why the candy store exploded last night, but after opening our investigation... at 6am this morning when i meant to be enjoying my day off... we can confirm this is most likely the work of the recently escaped convict baghead during his robbery of the bank last night, the times line up perfectly”
The crowd gasp.
 “i ask you all to remain calm until the mayor gives a statement on this later today at the town hall”
 Fola steps in front of the crowd.
 “you say it is ‘most likely’ the work of baghead, but what proof is there of this, what did your forensic investigators find?”
 Officer Taits giggles (cutely)
 “hehehe what’s a forensic”
 “well… we uhm... we can clearly tell this is the work of baghead because he just escaped prison and was sighted in the neighbourhood at the exact same time of the explosion last night... and these days, random speculation and theories mean just as much as solid evidence”
 “uhm--”
 “look this saves us a lot of work okay?”
 Officer Taits steps forward, her breasts jiggling as she does.
 “yes that's right... and this is like totally obviously baghead like duh hehe”
 Watching from a rooftop nearby, Callum shakes his head in disapproval.
 Within the crowd, Callum spots the same shady looking man in the suit from the day before.
 He narrows his eyes, staring intently at the man.
 The man sticks to the shadows and slowly walks down the pavement as the crowd begins to disperse.
 Callum sets off to follow him, sticking to the rooftops.
----
 Callum trails Slick Tommy until he comes to a stop outside of the local diner, Karen’s Krispy Kingdom. He enters the building rather forcefully.
 Callum follows behind, though he stops when he gets too close to the diner and peeks in from one of the corner windows.
 In the diner, Bob Lego is sitting eating a plate of crispy bacon at the counter. He is quite happily enjoying his breakfast. Despite the fact he has a smile on his face, it looks incredibly sad, for he is dead inside. Bob is bad at faking happiness.
 Slick Tommy comes strolling into the diner.
 The cook and owner of the diner, Karen, immediately turns around from the grill and notices him.
 “aW HELL NO GET OUTTA HERE YEW RAT! Y’ALL ALREADY STOPPED BY YESTERDAY IT AIN’T TIME AGAIN”
 “settle down miss adams, you were short”
 “WHERE THE HELL YOUR MANAGER, I WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH HIM”
 “miss adams we’ve discussed this numerous times, mister big does not mingle with your kind”
 “i DUNNO what MINGLE means, but I THINK THAT'S AN INSULT”
 “pay up now woman, spare me the trouble”
 “oH you SUns a BITCHES, you gonna BLOW MY DINER UP LIKE YOU DID WITH THE CANDY STORE? YEAHHH I’M REAL AWARE OF HOW THIS GOES”
 During the altercation, Bob simply keeps his head lowered while he uncomfortably continues to chew on a rash of bacon.
 “if you bothered to keep up to date with current events, you’d know that baghead was responsible for that… but if you are so sure of how it goes, then you best pay up what you owe, you were 140 bucks short”
 Karen mutters to herself, opening her cash register. She hands over the money she ‘owes’.
 “thank you for the displeasure as always, miss adams, don't let this happen again, you got lucky this time”
 “oh screw yew... yew’d better be a little more careful doing this in public!”
 Slick Tommy looks around the room, seeing only Bob.
 “only person here is bob… and bob already learned his lesson.. right pal?”
 Bob keeps his eyes on his plate, though he nods slowly.
 “he’s a good pupper, see? see you next month”
 Slick Tommy slots the money into an envelope and pockets it. He then exits the diner, swinging the door open and knocking Callum over, who was just outside.
 Callum hits the ground, though sits up.
 “ay! watch where you’re goin’ ya punk!”
 Callum then watches Slick Tommy walk off without even so much of a glance back at who he bumped into.
 Callum enters the diner and looks at both Karen and Bob.
 “i need you to tell me all about who that man was”
 “you mean the citadel and its vigilantes are finally looking into the painfully obvious mafia that controls our town?”
 “well--- no... but i am... and i’m a vigilante... i want to help”
 “everyone in this town lives in blissful ignorance… the only people who really know about how evil mister big really is are the ones who have been wronged by him... mainly business owners”
 “the police are telling everyone that baghead destroyed the candy store last night, but he didn’t, i saw it myself, and i will not let mr twix’s killers, whoever they are, get away with it, he meant too much to me”
 “well... i am not the sharpest tool in the shed... but i can guarantee you that it was the mafia who were responsible for mr twix’s death and the explosion last night”
 “well DARN right they were... mr twix wAS suffering like most of us business owners in town, the mafia has us all by the NUTS”
 “uh-huh... well... why hasn’t anything been done about this until now... what about the police?”
 “nobody believes it, they cover it up and make their victims look like a bunch of crazy people”
 While Bob is talking, Karen snorts a line of cocaine off the counter.
 “mmmmm i’m gonna need to start selling this shit again if i wanna keep my place open”
 Karen unleashes a hacking cough, spit landing on the bacon she was grilling.
 “you know what i’m no longer hungry”
 “well, they dont even need to try and make them look crazy… but mr. twix was my creator... he believed in me when nobody else would... i need to bring the ones who wronged him to justice…”
 “i would offer to help you… but unless you have a clear plan to beat them... i dont think its possible... i have tried and failed to bring them down in the past... as a member of the neighbourhood watch, i only want to see our town thriving without being controlled by those asshats…”
 “i’m a vigilante of the citadel, i will go the police myself and tell them of this… i am going to bring mister big and his mafia to justice for what they did…”
  "i wish you luck... but you best be careful with who you talk to all of this about... they will try to silence you… mister big... is ruthless…”
----
 Callum then watches Slick Tommy walk off without even so much of a glance back at who he bumped into.
 Callum enters the diner and looks at both Karen and Bob.
 “i need you to tell me all about who that man was”
 “you mean the citadel and its vigilantes are finally looking into the painfully obvious mafia that controls our town?”
 “well--- no... but i am... and i’m a vigilante... i want to help”
 “everyone in this town lives in blissful ignorance… the only people who really know about how evil mister big really is are the ones who have been wronged by him... mainly business owners”
 “the police are telling everyone that baghead destroyed the candy store last night, but he didn’t, i saw it myself, and i will not let mr twix’s killers, whoever they are, get away with it, he meant too much to me”
 “well... i am not the sharpest tool in the shed... but i can guarantee you that it was the mafia who were responsible for mr twix’s death and the explosion last night”
 “well DARN right they were... mr twix wAS suffering like most of us business owners in town, the mafia has us all by the NUTS”
 “uh-huh... well... why hasn’t anything been done about this until now... what about the police?”
 “nobody believes it, they cover it up and make their victims look like a bunch of crazy people”
 While Bob is talking, Karen snorts a line of cocaine off the counter.
 “mmmmm i’m gonna need to start selling this shit again if i wanna keep my place open”
 Karen unleashes a hacking cough, spit landing on the bacon she was grilling.
 “you know what i’m no longer hungry”
 “well, they dont even need to try and make them look crazy… but mr. twix was my creator... he believed in me when nobody else would... i need to bring the ones who wronged him to justice…”
 “i would offer to help you… but unless you have a clear plan to beat them... i dont think its possible... i have tried and failed to bring them down in the past... as a member of the neighbourhood watch, i only want to see our town thriving without being controlled by those asshats…”
 “i’m a vigilante of the citadel, i will go the police myself and tell them of this… i am going to bring mister big and his mafia to justice for what they did…”
  "i wish you luck... but you best be careful with who you talk to all of this about... they will try to silence you… mister big... is ruthless…”
----
 At the Midnight Club, Mister Big is sitting at his desk within his office. A few of his men are standing before him. Mister Big slams his hand into his table.
 “WHATTTT”
 He stands up, beginning to angrily pace back and forth.
 “wHY WOULD SHE CANCEL ON ME... I HAVE ALL OF HER ALBUMS.. I’M HER BIGGEST FUCKING FAN”
 Jimmy Needles, his assistant club manager, lowers his clipboard.
 “all she said is she can no longer come to perform tonight boss… she had to cancel--"
 “oH WHAT THE FUCK…”
 Mister Big comes to a stop, staring at his Lady Gaga poster on the wall.
 “you betrayed me darling, you betrayed me... i thought it’d finally be me and you... you’d turn up to perform and you’d lay eyes on me in person and it’d be true love… GOD THIS IS FUCKING AWFUL”
 “everything else is on track boss… relax. we are well stocked and we can just make up for it with another performer and a happy hour at midnight-”
 “RELAX? DONT TELL ME TO FUCKING RELAX! PEOPLE DON’T WANT ANOTHER PERFORMER, THEY WANT LADY FUCKING GAGA… god that rotten bitch! the only excuse for cancelling on me is being DEAD! i guess i’ll just have to get that arranged…”
 One of the other men, Braces, speaks up.
 “you want me to get on that boss?”
 “WHATTTT… kill lady gaga are ya CRAZY? how fucking dare you... she is my QUEEN”
 “but you said-”
 “shut up. get out”
 Braces hangs his head in shame and leaves the room.
 Mister Socky, a giant sock puppet in a suit, steps forward.
 “relax biggie… we’ll get someone else for tonight, it’ll be just fine”
 “who… who else can we get tonight? it's meant to be a classy party! it needs to be stylish and fucking sophisciated!
 “leave it to me boss… i will do my best to find us someone by tonight”
 “you’ll handle it? you’ll find someone good? i need another lady gaga!”
 “i will find someone boss, i will put out a message now, i needed to put one out to find a new chauffeur for your limo anyway”
 “a new chauffeur? what the hell happened to the last one?"
 “you shot him”
 “eh i forget, as long as you find me a new one!”
 Mister Big exhales.
 “...what other news?”
 Slick Tommy steps forward.
 “our hit on the candy store was a success, it seems the return of baghead was just perfect timing, because everyone’s attention is on him, and our act has fallen completely under the radar... nobody cared about mr twix or his failing candy store…”
 “that’s good... that’s very good... because the majority of the morons in this town never suspect a thing... but the business owners who we’re dealing with? oh i’m sure they know just what caused the destruction of the candy store, let it serve as a example to them on what happens when they don't pay up…”
 “there is one more thing worth noting boss”
 “go on”
 “we have had a few cancellations for tonight, quite a few”
 “oh what the fuck, why? YOU TOLD ME EVERYTHING ELSE IS FINE”
 “many of them are just coming in now boss, a lot of people were just coming to see lady gaga”
 “i bet they will all go to the comedy club on the other side of town instead”
 “comedy club on the other side of town... i control that... right?”
 “nope”
 “WELL THEN SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN WHAT ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR, THAT PLACE IS STEALING MY BUSINESS”
 Mister Socky stands up gleefully.
 “leave that to me sir”
----
At the police station, Quenton and Officer Taits are interrogating a man.
 “deception... deception”
 “listen buddy i’m gonna ask you once to stop muttering shit and confess to what you did”
 “i did nothing, you doin’ this cause i’m black?”
 “no i’m doing this because you apparently offered to help an old lady by carrying her shopping before roundhouse kicking her in the stomach when she accepted…”
 “she was deceived by deception... but i did nothing else!”
 “then what’s with that bag of cocaine in your pocket? huh?”
 Officer Bruce Dipper steps forward.
 “oh-- that’s mine chief, he must’ve swiped it from my desk on the way past”
 “ah no worries bruce”
 Quenton turns to Deception.
 “so you’re a thief, huh?”
 Bruce steps over and kicks Deception in the stomach before retrieving his bag of cocaine.
 “hah, how do you like being kicked in the stomach PUNK”
 “hehehe! that’s totally kerma”
 “its karma darling but good attempt”
 “yayyyyy!”
 Bruce hoists Deception up and takes him off to a holding cell.
 Callum enters the police station and approaches the grouping of officers.
 “well if it isn’t the vigilante who faced off against baghead himself, i was wondering when you’d stop by to give us an update on what went down”
 “chief i have come to talk to you about the candy store”
 “oh, i am sorry for your loss callum, i know mr. twix meant a lot to you”
 “it was not baghead that destroyed the candy store, it was someone else”
 Officer Taits, who at this point was now striking poses and snapping selfies in the corner puts her phone down with a gasp.
 “oh boy, look we have conducted the investigation, and the times match up perfectly-”
 “i was pursuing baghead during his getaway from the bank when it happened, the candy store explosion is what made me lose him, it wasn’t him”
 “he clearly set that up as a diversion... he’s a pesky one…”
 “it wasn’t baghead who did it! you have to listen to me here it was mister big and his mafia!”
 “mister big? oh come on now callum he’s a professional club owner, he’d never harm his reputation by doing something so pointless and cruel…”
 “hehe, what would mister big gain from destroying a candy store silly?”
 “hah, maybe it was how insulting the sweet selection became, i tell ya, over the last few months all the good stuff was gone, it's as if mr. twix stopped buying in GOOD candy... you go there wanting toffee bonbons and jolly rancher, and all you get on offer are apple bonbons and liquorice”
 “you are just proving my point! it's because he was indebted to the mafia and being forced to pay them for ‘protection’ every month, he couldn’t afford much new stock, it nearly put him out of business, he was barely getting by, it all clicked with me when i found out! just yesterday he was assaulted by a member of the mafia, i saw it myself!”
 “callum i think you’re beginning to sound a little mad here… listen... i understand, you are mourning, and you are hurt, you think in your own head it's impossible that baghead would’ve destroyed the candy store when you saw him right in front of you, and you want to try and get a logical answer... but these are the mind games that mastermind baghead plays with his opponents…”
 “no its-”
 “but I assure you, all of the police’s resources and manpower is going into locating and bringing baghead to justice, we just do not have time for your far fetched theories about mister big right now. as a vigilante of the citadel, surely baghead is meant to be your main concern too?”
 “my home was wrongfully destroyed, and i will not let the mafia get away with this... if you’re all going to be useless then so be it!”
 “but mister big is totally cool mr cute little candy cane, i’m at his club every night and for some reason i always get free drinks! hehe!”
 “you guys are idiots, i’ll just do this on my own, i’ll show you”
 “wait a second you’ve got nothing to tell us about baghead and your run-in with him?”
 “i don't know where he’s currently hiding, no... all i can tell you is he didn't blow up that candy store… and i’m going to prove it”
 Callum exits the police station.
----
 Terry is cruising around the neighbourhood casually in search of anyone who might require his services… but competition is rough.
 Terry takes a moment to park his taxi at his usual spot in the town square and sit idly in hopes that someone will stop by. While he is sitting, he watches as his rival, Rajeesh Pardeep comes onto the scene in his own taxi.
 Rajeesh Pardeep was an eccentric Indian man and Terry’s long going rival in the neighbourhood taxi business, though there was no real competition, Rajeesh beat him every single day.
 Terry watches as Rajeesh picks up a group of three people in his taxi before he proceeds to make an illegal U-turn around so that he can circle back and pass Terry.
 Rajeesh rolls down his window and waves to Terry. He has a thick, stereotypical Indian accent.
 “oh hello my friend, business is booming ay?”
 Rajeesh chuckles to himself.
 “would you like to see the modification i have recently made to my taxi?”
 “no not really--”
 “ohohoho of course you do!! watch as i demonstrate it to these three VERY sexy ladies in the back yes?”
The ladies he picked up are heard giggling in the back.
 “ok ladies hold on tight!!”
 Terry looks on, curious as to what was going to happen.
 With the hit of a button, Rajeesh’s taxi begins to hover in the air. While it is not flying, it is high enough up in the air to where it is above Terry’s own taxi.
 “ohohoho! look at me now!! sky high! It would be nice if you could say the same thing about your income ay?”
 Rajeesh speeds off, the ladies still giggling, impressed.
 Terry sighs.
----
 At Abysmal’s comedy club, Abysmal Ahul slides a drink down the bar for Terry.
 “here it's on the house, you look pretty rough”
 “i appreciate the gesture but i cannot consume alcohol right now”
 “aww you can't?”
 “yeah i’m driving”
 “okay but why cant you drink?”
 “because it's against the law abysmal”
 “aww boo no fun. fine okay, what can i get you?”
 “i’m fine actually, i’m just stumped on what i can do to keep my business afloat”
 “well hey, you mentioned that earlier rajeesh does all these fancy things to make being in a taxi with him more exciting right?”
 “well yeah but i can't afford a modification that turns my taxi into a hover car”
 “but you can offer a little more than just a ride for an absurd price”
 “hey come on now, i don't even charge as much as rajeesh does and he’s still the only one making money”
 “that’s because he’s offering an experience, so do what i suggested, you’ll start making bank real fast”
 “it's not a bad idea…”
 “heyyyyy wait a minute... you mentioned that you can't drink while you’re driving…”
 “yes that is the law”
 “but what about offering complimentary drinks to your clients?”
 “abysmal that’s genius, I'll have a bottle of champagne in the back!”
 “hell yeah”
 “jeez, thanks abysmal, you could really be saving me here... i’m gonna give it a shot!”
 “and i’m gonna take a shot”
 Terry gets up and walks out of the building.
 Abysmal crouches down and takes a bottle of vodka and a shot glass out of his cabinet under the bar. He stands back up and pours a shot into the glass. Before he can take the shot, another hand reaches in and grabs it. Abysmal looks up.
 Mister Socky downs the shot and places the glass back down. He has entered the club with three men in suits.
 “thank you”
 “oh, well that was for me, but i’m fine as long as you are going to pay for that”
 “that will not be necessary”
 “it really will be”
 “no”
 “yes”
 “i have come to give you some options”
 “beat you up and take the money you owe me from your wallet myself, or call the police and let them settle it?”
 “your business is now property of mister big and the midnight club. you work for us now, and in exchange, you will be cloaked under our protection”
 “and why does egghead have to send his cum sock to claim my business”
 “how dare you-”
 “the least he could do is show up and prove he’s the better man himself, but i am not letting you leeches put a leash on me”
 “you are going to regret this, mr ahul”
 “get lost losers, i have a show to prepare for tonight”
 “watch your tongue, or you won't have a place to perform anymore”
 “tell your weirdo boss to stop getting jealous of my club, the midnight club is busier anyway!”
 “so be it”
 Mister Socky leaves with his men.
 “wait a second uh oh”
----
 Terry is back to cruising the streets in his taxi, which now has complimentary red wine and champagne in the back for his clients. As he is driving, he sees a person in the distance, who seems to notice his taxi and signal for it. Terry doesn’t understand how to process it. He looks back to see if they were signalling for someone else, but the road is clear.
 “a... a client?”
 Terry brings the taxi to a stop at the side of the road, and to his surprise, the man opens the back door and steps inside, sitting himself down.
 “aloe mate, i’m in a bit of a rush, my drivah hasn’ even shown up, he must be ‘avin a fockin’ larf”
 “err--”
 “so mate, just take me across the town to that skyscraper, yeh? and make it quick ‘av got a meeting to catch”
 Terry remains calm, finally having a client. He begins to drive through town toward the skyscraper.
 “feel free to help yourself to a drink there”
 “oh that's nice of yu innit it? kind bloke”
 British Gman takes the bottle of red wine and pours it into a glass. He takes a chug of it.
 Terry remains intensely focused on the road while Gman enjoys his drink.
 Suddenly, Rajeesh comes speeding out of a side street, almost crashing into Terry.
 Terry is forced to slam his foot on the brakes to avoid hitting him.
 Gman spills his drink as he is rocked forward.
 “ohohoho! get good at driving yes?”
 Rajeesh speeds past.
 Terry turns around to see Gman covered in red wine.
 “i’m so sorry! there was a driver who came out of nowhere-”
 “fuh fock saek mate, yu got wine all over my brand new gucci suit! that’s gonna be a fockin’ pain to remove innit? what a fockin’ joek. just let me out roight ‘ere, i’d ratha walk”
 Terry brings the taxi to a stop on the side of the road.
 British Gman angrily opens the door and steps out.
 “bloody joek innit? i’m not gonna be payin’ for that”
 British Gman walks off.
 “FUCK”
 Terry sits behind the wheel of his taxi in shame, until he notices a man approaching his window.
 The man taps his window and Terry rolls it down in response.
 “hey ah, you a driver yeah?”
 “i am driving a taxi so-- that would be the case good sir”
 “hey i just had to check to be sure, you’ve never seen a stolen taxi?”
 “need a lift?”
 “need a job?”
 “huh?”
 “my boss is looking for a chauffeur to drive him around in his fancy limo, and ever since i posted about the opening online, not a single person has turned in an application, that’s because my boss only accepts physical forms that have been signed, he’s old fashioned, and i told him it wasn’t gonna work, but he insisted it, said that tappy devices and computers are really destroying society, so i said fine, i’ll print off some forms and hand them out-”
 “i’ll take the job.”
 “well cool your jets hotshot, you have to submit an application form, and fast, so fill this out and hand it into the midnight club by 5, your first shift would be tonight”
 “oh-- okay... thank you sir”
 The Man hands Terry an application form and walks off.
 Terry spends the next while filling out the form before handing it into The Midnight Club on time.
----
 That evening, Abysmal returns to his club to find that it has been absolutely trashed.
 “oh goddammitt that fucking CUM SOCK”
----
 On the night of Mister Big’s party, Candy Callum sits on a rooftop opposite The Midnight Club.
 Out front, one of Mister Big’s brutish goons is serving as a bouncer for a queue of people waiting to get into the club.
 Callum uses his strawberry lace grapple to zipline down onto the club’s roof, before dropping in through an open skylight window quietly.
 He drops down onto the second floor of the club and looks around, before shooting his grapple gun up at a vent grate and pulling it out of place. He leaps up into the vent and begins to crawl through it while the party goes on below.
----
 Terry is driving down the street in his taxi with Abysmal. They approach The Midnight Club and park on the curb opposite it.
 “these assholes trashed my club, it was them!”
 “really? they did it?”
 “yep, they snuck into my club and fucked it on the inside while i was on a jog, i had to cancel my event tonight”
 Abysmal scans the crowd queuing outside of The Midnight Club.
 “and half of those people in that crowd were meant to be at it, that’s why they came for me!”
 “but what do you want to do about it?”
 “i don't know... the police simply say BAGHEAD trashed my club”
 “I've had a rough day too, i thought it’d get better when I applied for a job at this club, they said they needed a driver... i guess they found someone else…”
A limousine drives past and comes to a stop outside of the club.
 Rajeesh Pardeep steps out the front, dressed in a suit. He approaches the back door to the limo and opens it.
 Mister Big steps out and adjusts his collar.
 “oh my god”
 “holy shit isn’t that your rival?”
 Terry rolls the window down.
 Mister Big turns to the crowd outside of his club.
 “i have just been out for a ride with my newest driver, the fabulous rajeesh pardeep!”
 Rajeesh waves with a grin. The crowd clap and cheer.
 “i fully endorse his taxi service, it is absolutely phenomenal, he is a hardworking gentleman! thank goodness he submitted an application, i was almost stuck with a BUBBLE, until this hero submit a form at the last minute! seriously what’s with that bubble guy anyway? weirdo!
 The crowd laughs, and Terry sits there humiliated.
 “yikes... that’s rough buddy…”
 Mister Big strolls into his club.
 Rajeesh gets back into the limo, performing a dodgy turn that knocks a woman over before he comes side by side with the taxi on his way back.
 He rolls down the window and simply grins at Terry.
 “fancy seeing you here terry ohohoho? you should know, i am the one who rules the driving market here... i’m going to be starting my own bus company!”
 “but-- but how--- how do you have the time for all of this at once--"
 “i am simply very hardworking man, whereas you are lazy, you should quit while you're ahead, actually hold on, you aren’t ahead! quit while you’re behind! while i am here, i am going to make sure your attempts to compete with me crash hard!”
 Rajeesh drives off.
 Terry sits there in shock.
 “sssssssssss ouch”
----
 In the Midnight Club, Candy Callum drops down from the vents into Mister Big’s office. He begins to rummage through drawers to find what he can that proves Mister Big is a crime boss.
 Downstairs, Mister Big is mingling with some guests at his club, which is busier than ever. He spots Mister Socky on guard at the side and approaches him.
 “well as usual my best boy has not disappointed me, whatever you did it worked, so many of these people say they were originally going to be at the comedy club tonight!”
 “yes... thank you boss… a shame it got trashed”
 Mister Socky cackles.
 Mister Big then walks around back of the performance stage.
 The Man is standing there.
 “well... did you find a performer? DID YOU?!”
 “i had to do the best i could in the time i had, and i had to find a local artist, but i’ve got someone boss”
 “good--- good-- just get them out on the stage i want tonight to be perfect!”
 “oh hold on boss--”
 “just do it! i need to get something from my office”
 Mister Big rushes off.
 “no quality control tonight i guess”
 The Man shrugs and looks back to the performer he had arranged.
 “i hope you’re ready buddy”
 He steps out onto the stage with a microphone, and immediately gets the crowd’s attention.
 Mister Big’s words echo throughout his mind.
 ”it needs to be stylish and fucking sophisciated!”
 “oh fuck”
The crowd looked on, confused.
 “I mean... i mean introducing tonight’s performer, assbeater420!”
 ‘AssBeater420’ as he is called on stage, steps out. He is a black rapper with a baseball cap and headphones. He has no shirt on.
 The Man steps to the side, realising he has made a terrible mistake.
 “aye yo thanks g, i’m assbeater420 y’all and i’mma sing for y’all aight”
 He begins to beatbox. The crowd stood in silence.
 “aye yo i beat ass i beat ass i beat ass i beat ass”
 Callum is still rummaging through Mister Big’s office.
 Mister Big steps inside with his assistant manager Jimmy Needles.
 “no problem sir-- i’ll get right on it--”
 The two stop dead in their tracks when they spot Callum.
 “oh fuck”
 “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN’ IN HERE?”
 Callum grabs what he can from the drawer in a handful and then opens the window, diving out.
 Mister Big stumbles toward the window, panicking.
 “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT-- HE’S STILL ON OUR TURF, GET OUR MEN ON IT NOW BEFORE HE CAN ESCAPE”
 Jimmy Needles sprints out of the room.
 Mister Big enters back into the main clubroom, now flustered. He then lays eyes on AssBeater420, performing live on stage. The crowd is dead silent.
 “sometimes i eat ass too yuh”
 He clenches his fist while his face turns red like a cherry.
 “WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK”
----
 Candy Callum, having grappled up onto a fence to break his fall after diving out the window, looks to what he managed to steal. To his disappointment, it is just a pile of Lady Gaga posters and pictures.
 Callum lets out a deep sigh.
 The side door to the club opens and Jimmy Needles steps out with a group of mobsters behind him. He spots Callum and points up to him.
 “there! get him! and no guns, we don’t want to raise suspicion!”
The mobsters rush at Callum with crowbars, bats and knives.
 Callum aims his grapple up at a nearby roof, but while it is charging up, he is grabbed by one of the mobsters and thrown to the floor.
 He rolls to dodge their initial attacks on the ground, and reaches for his lollipop hammer, which he equips quickly and uses to smack one of the mobsters out cold.
 One of the mobsters kicks the candy cane to the ground, and another raises his bat and brings it down onto him.
 The impact was devastating, and Callum notices a crack forming on his body. Wounded, he needs to make an escape.
 Callum rolls to the side as carefully as possible to avoid further attacks, and grabs his grapple gun, being forced to leave his lollipop hammer behind. He quickly fires it and is dragged off to a nearby roof.
 Callum lies there, exhausted, finally out of harm’s way. He looks down at his body to see that a chunk of his hand has broken off.
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 1