Dirk Intense

Dirk “Herb” Intense is a character played by Jabroni_Mike. 
==Description ==
He is a balding old man with light brown hair, glasses, a hunch, a permanent limp, a red button-down shirt, and khakis. 
Despite their similar appearance, Dirk has no relation to Lester Crest.
== Personality ==
Dirk loves enforcing rules and morals, annoying a lot of people he comes into contact with. He loves having power.
== The Snr. Buns Incident ==
On January 11th, 2024, a vegetarian meal was offered to Dirk at Snr. Buns. It had been contaminated with soy, which Dirk is severely allergic to. He immediately went into analphylactic shock and collapsed onto the floor. The EMTs had to come out and give him an emergency shot of epinephrine.
Dirk tried to get in contact with a lawyer thinking he was intentionally poisoned. The lawyer hung up on him.
As of January 30th, 2024 Dirk has yet to have his case taken on by a lawyer.
== Employment ==
He is the city’s first health inspector (officially “Supervisor of Food Safety”), having been given provisional credentials for it on January 30, 2024 by Mayor Thoroughbred. It was his lifelong dream. He immediately went and graded snr buns with a C++ after he was coerced.
On his second inspection, on February 9, of Snr. Buns. He wished to give it a grade of C- but was intimidated by Lucy Furr and the various criminals working there to raise it to an A+ (with caveats he added). He then went to the Vanilla Unicorn but it was empty, and he forgot to grade it.
== Background ==
== Relationships ==
Dirk is friends with Chastity Marie Sanders and is trying to get Ursula Leichenberg to report on his Snr. Buns incident. He is the roommate of Mark Laskewicz.
==Trivia==
*Dirk is currently looking for his missing cats, Puffy and Dix.
*He is severely allergic to soy.
*Occasionally suffers from fecal and urinary incontinence.
*Has a bad hip.
*Has an ankle kink.
*Dirk's father was a lobster fisherman.