Pinocchio (2022)/Transcript

Jiminy: (SINGING) When you wish upon a star Your dreams come true (SIGHS) Isn't that a catchy little tune? Well, how do? Cricket's the name. Jiminy Cricket, to be precise. And I'm here to tell you one humdinger of a tale. It's a story that begins a long time ago. Actually, it's a story that begins once upon a time, a long time ago. That's right. Much better. Much more precise. Never understood that expression. How can it be "once upon a time"? Hey, who's telling this story? Me or you? Well, who are you? I'm you. Only older and wiser. Really? How do you figure? Because I'm the narrator telling this story post facto. I know exactly what's gonna happen to you on this adventure. Really? Well, let me ask you this.
Am I ever gonna be warm again? Just keep walking. You'll find out. (SCOFFS) Some storyteller you are. Shall I continue? Go for it. Narrate to your heart's content. Thank you. (CLEARS THROAT) Once upon a time, a long time ago, my travels took me to a quaint little village.
(WIND BLOWING)
(CHIRPS)
(CHIRPING)
"Mastro Geppetto. Wood-carver,
fabricator of clocks, toys, oddments."
Oddments, huh?
Sounds like my kind of place.
(CHIRPING)
(GRUNTING)
(STRAINING)
(GRUNTING)
(SHIVERS)
GEPPETTO: Hmm.
(SHUDDERING)
Huh?
(CLOCKS TICKING)
- (SMOLDERING)
- (JIMINY GASPS)
GEPPETTO: "Maybe something here"
"A touch behind the ear
- "Not a boy. Just a toy for a puppeteer"
-(CAT YAWNS)
Huh?
(CHIRPING)
(CHAIN CLINKING SOFTLY)
GEPPETTO: "Thinking way back when
I'm missing him again"
(bl*wing)
(CHIRPS)
"Heart so young, songs unsung"
"Oh, what might have been"
(CHIRPING)
(CHAIN CLINKING SOFTLY)
"I see him in my dreams
So perfectly, it seems"
(PURRING)
"If I could only make
These dreams come true"
"I may never find"
"This vision in my mind"
"Memory may hold the key"
"To feeling how I felt
when he was here with me"
(SINGING) There was so much laughter
But we couldn't see
Happily ever after was never meant to be
If only this could be more than a memory
But memory will have to be
The way this old man's eyes can see
Just how it really was
When he was here
(FIGARO YAWNS)
With me
(MEOWS)
(GRUNTS)
Yeah.
(GRUNTS)
Hmm. Not too shabby.
Whoa! (CLEARS THROAT)
Excuse me, ma'am.
(SIGHS) Well...
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Ha. Ah...
Figaro, all finished.
What do you think, huh?
(PURRING)
Oh, really?
Well, I think he looks very much like him.
Very much.
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
No, Figaro, it's Signore Rizzi again.
(GEPPETTO SIGHS)
(JIMINY CHIRPING)
(GEPPETTO GRUNTING)
No, Signore Rizzi, I'm sorry.
We have already closed at : .
Precisely at sunset.
Oh, well, Geppetto,
I'm sorry to disturb you.
I saw your light was on and I thought
I would ask you one more time.
Please sell me the cuckoo clock
with the cute duck
and the little alligator on it.
GEPPETTO: That clock is not for sale,
as I have told you many times.
RIZZI: I will give you lira. lira.
Name your price, Geppetto, and I will pay.
They are beyond price, Signore.
I'm very sorry, but I cannot sell you
any of my cuckoo clocks.
But if you cannot sell your clocks,
why do you have a shop?
(SIGHS)
It's complicated. Perhaps a music box?
Good night, Geppetto.
I leave a disappointed man.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(GEPPETTO GROANS AND SIGHS)
They just don't understand, do they, Cleo?
My clocks, they mean everything to me.
(GLASS CLINKING)
- My clocks are my most special creations.
- (FIGARO MEOWS)
I made them for my beloved Constanza,
and she loved every one of them.
Every one of them.
Oh. (SPLUTTERS) But never as much
as she loved you, my dear boy.
Hmm.
My dear boy.
(FIGARO MEOWS)
(CHUCKLING)
No more of these sad thoughts, huh?
Time for some happiness.
This is why I gave you a smile.
So that you will always be happy.
What is your name?
(LAUGHS)
You should have a name of your own.
Yes, yes. Now, what should it be?
What should it be?
I carved you out of wood.
I made you out of pine.
You're a boy made out of pine.
Pine-occhio. Pine-occhio. Pinocchio. Huh?
Pinocchio. Yeah.
(LAUGHS) Uh...
Do... Do you approve
of the name "Pinocchio"?
Yes, yes.
(LAUGHING)
You see, Figaro. Do you love
the name "Pinocchio"?
- (FIGARO MEOWS)
- Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
- (LAUGHS)
- (MEOWS)
(AMUSING MUSIC PLAYING)
Ow! Hey! (GRUNTING)
Hey. (SCREAMS) No!
- (LAUGHING)
- (MEOWING)
(GEPPETTO SCATTING)
Oh, let's dance.
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
Whoa! Ow!
You call this music?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Don't you be afraid, Figaro. No.
No. Why? Because he likes you.
(LAUGHING)
Oh! Oh!
Figaro, no, no.
(GRUNTS) Even Cleo thinks
he's very, very handsome.
(WATER BUBBLING)
(GRUNTS) Figaro, come.
Don't be such a scaredy cat!
(MEOWING)
(SCATTING)
(MEOWING)
(CONTINUES SCATTING)
(MUSIC SLOWS DOWN)
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- (FIGARO WHINES)
Oh, Figaro.
- What?
- (MEWING)
Oh. Oh. Yes, yes. Almost time, but...
Wait for it. Wait for it.
(CLOCKS TICKING)
(CLOCKS RINGING)
(NEIGHS)
(QUACKING)
(CROW CAWING)
(RINGING STOPS)
Yes. Yeah.
(SIGHS) Now, it is time for bed.
- (MEOWS)
- Yes.
Good night, Cleo, ah,
my little water baby. (CHUCKLES)
(SOFTLY) Good night.
(YAWNS)
Good night, my beautiful birthday boy.
(KISSES)
(MEOWS)
(GURGLING)
(SNORES)
(SNORING)
(GEPPETTO GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
Oh.
Oh, what a beautiful clear night.
Ah! Beautiful.
(LAUGHING)
Figaro, look at Pinocchio
there in the moonlight.
He looks almost like a real boy.
(CHUCKLES)
(GASPS) Look, Figaro. Look, look, look.
It's... It's the wishing star.
Oh!
I haven't seen one in so...
We should make a wish, huh? Yeah?
Star light, star bright.
First star I see tonight.
I wish...
Hmm.
I wish...
(MUTTERS)
How do I say this?
(SOFTLY) I wish... I wish...
I wish...
(GEPPETTO CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Figaro, do you want to know
what I wished for? I wished...
No, no. If I was to tell you,
you would think I was...
(CLOCK RINGING)
The problem with that one clock,
it talks too much.
(LAUGHING)
Get it? Get it? It talks too much.
Tick-tock, the clock tick-tocks too much?
(LAUGHING)
Ah. Never mind. It's late.
(SIGHS)
(YAWNS) Still,
(GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
If my wish came true, Figaro,
that would be wonderful.
(SIGHS)
Wonderful.
(SNORING)
(TICKING)
(TICKING SLOWS DOWN)
(CLOCK RINGS)
(RATTLING)
(GASPS)
Jumpin' jeepers. He's alive.
(SNORING)
(PURRING)
(CHIRPS)
Now see here. What's this all about?
(GASPS)
- Holy moly. You can walk.
- "Holy moly. You can walk."
Shut my mouth. You can talk.
"Shut my mouth. You can talk."
- No, you can talk.
- "No, you can talk."
- I know I can talk. And so can you.
- "I know I can talk. And so can you."
BLUE FAIRY: All right, all right.
All right, all right, all right.
Everyone can relax. I'm here now.
What seems to be the...
Oh, yes. I see what the problem is.
As I live and breathe. A fairy!
You're not really real, are you?
Of course he's real! He's alive, isn't he?
- And who might you be?
- Jiminy Cricket.
Bug, boulevardier, flâneur,
man of leisure. And who might you be?
Oh, the good Geppetto made a wish from
the depths of his heart and so I'm here.
- I'm the Blue Fairy.
- "I'm the Blue Fairy."
- No, I'm the Blue Fairy.
- "No, I'm the Blue Fairy."
Oh, I see what the problem is here.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(MAGICAL NOTES CHIMING)
- Let's try this again. I'm the Blue Fairy.
- Hello, Blue Fairy!
That's more like it.
Yes, I'm the Blue Fairy.
- Now, what's your name?
- I don't know.
I heard Geppetto name him Pinocchio.
(CHUCKLES) My name is Pinocchio.
Sounds like your head
is made of white pine. Hence, Pinocchio.
The perfect name
for a boy with a wooden head.
- PINOCCHIO: I'm a boy?
- Well, a wooden boy.
Geppetto, who lies thither sawing wood,
he's the wood-carver, I assume?
Yes, I guess you could call him
Pinocchio's pops.
- BLUE FAIRY: "Pops"?
- Yeah, Pops. Pappy. You know, father.
I mean, that is, if Pinocchio here
was a real boy.
If Geppetto wanted a real boy,
why would he carve a puppet?
Well, sure, there are other ways
to make a boy,
but I don't think Geppetto gets out much,
and I guess it's the best
he could do with the tools he's got.
Of course, I'm just a talking cricket,
so I'm not one to pass judgment
on what's real.
- Ms. Blue Fairy, am I real?
- Yes, Pinocchio, you're real, all right.
A real, live, living puppet that's painted
to look like a real, live, living boy.
Almost what your father wished for.
So when do I become a real,
real, live, living boy?
Because it sounds like that's
what will make my father happy.
BLUE FAIRY: "Little puppet made of pine
Geppetto's wish went up the line"
"But his feelings were tangled
And knotted like twine"
"Then light from a star gave life to a toy
A marionette boy full of wonder and joy"
"But to be truly real
He had to pass an ordeal"
(GEPPETTO SNORING)
Geppetto has done his part,
and I have done mine.
And to be real is up to you.
You have to prove that you are brave,
truthful and unselfish.
PINOCCHIO: How do I do that?
Well, by learning to choose
between right and wrong.
- Okay, but how do I do that?
- Your conscience will tell you.
"Con Shuns"? Who are they?
No, no. "Conscience."
Abstract, noun, singular.
A conscience is that still small voice
that most people refuse to listen to.
(GRUNTS) And that is the entire problem
with the world today.
Are you my conscience?
Huh? Me? No, I'm not a conscience.
I'm a cricket.
More of an insect than an instinct.
BLUE FAIRY: Would you like
to be his conscience?
Me? No, thanks.
I've, uh, got enough on my plate.
Oh, really? I see a lost soul,
an insect of no fixed address.
An aimless vagabond
hopping from hearth to hearth
with no direction, no job,
no prospects and no purpose in life.
Now look here.
Just because a fella sneaks into
somebody's house to warm his backside,
and sure, he might have gotten
kicked out of a place or two, but...
- (SIGHS) Okay, you have a point.
- BLUE FAIRY: Here's the thing.
Do you know the difference
between right and wrong?
You're darn tootin', I do.
I consider myself a bug
of high moral standards,
no matter what you may have heard.
Well, that settles it then.
Kneel, Mr. Cricket.
I hereby appoint you
Pinocchio's conscience.
- Uh, temporary conscience.
- Sure. Temporary conscience.
Until such time
as Pinocchio may grow his own.
Henceforth, you are the high keeper
of the knowledge of right and wrong,
and a trusted counselor
during moments of temptation.
(MAGICAL NOTES CHIME)
Arise, Sir Jiminy Cricket.
(WHISTLES)
- Hey! This is more like it.
- (BLUE FAIRY CHUCKLES)
"Let your job restore your pride
And let your conscience be your guide"
"For now, my dear Pinocchio
The time has come for me to go"
Oh, boy. She's rhyming again.
Looks like we're about to be on our own.
Pinocchio, when a boy
is brave, truthful and unselfish,
it makes his father proud.
And the most important part about
being real isn't what you're made of.
It's about what's in your heart.
(SINGING) Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams
Come true
(GRUNTS)
What was that? I heard something.
(MEOWS)
I heard something.
(RATTLING SOFTLY)
I heard something.
Figaro, Figaro,
did you hear something, too?
I heard something.
(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
You? Did you...
- Did you hear something, Figaro?
- (MEOWS)
I heard something. Yes, I did.
I heard. I heard something.
What about you?
Cleo, did you hear anything?
(WATER BUBBLES)
- Pinocchio, did you hear anything?
- I sure did!
All right. I heard something, too.
And now that you can talk...
Hello, Pops.
(GASPS)
- (SCREAMING)
- (FIGARO SHRIEKING)
(CLOCKS RINGING)
(GASPING)
(TRUMPETING)
- (SQUEALS)
- (BABY CRIES)
(RINGING STOPS)
(SHUDDERING)
It's me, Pinocchio!
- You talk!
- Yeah. And I can walk.
(GASPS)
How? How can you walk? How can you talk?
The Blue Fairy. She said you made a wish.
Blue Fairy? The Blue Fairy!
I did make a wish.
I wished... I wished that my...
I know. A real boy. But guess what?
I'm almost a real boy,
and I can become one.
All I have to do is, uh...
A bunch of stuff.
An almost real boy?
An almost real boy.
Uh-huh.
(LAUGHING)
(CHUCKLING) An almost real boy!
(LAUGHING)
An almost real boy!
Look... Look at you. Look. Look at you!
You are an almost real boy!
We can be... We can be a family.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, an almost real boy! Oh!
We must have music.
(AMUSING MUSIC PLAYING)
Dance. Can you dance, Pinocchio?
(LAUGHING)
(SINGING) I'll design
The perfect wooden shoe
And then we'll sing and dance
The whole day through
If you get splinters
I'll be there with glue
I'll take care of you
(LAUGHS) Yes, I will
Pinocchio, Pinocchio
Holy smoke-io
Pinocchio, Pinocchio
My dear son made of wood
Pinocchio, Pinocchio
I think you...
(CONTINUES SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
May I? Thank you. Much obliged.
And you think it is good
And so Pinocchio became
part of Geppetto's little family.
And despite a few minor
blended family issues...
(GLASS BREAKING)
...they became a s*ab,
well-adjusted household.
Pinocchio!
(SIGHING WEARILY)
Pinocchio, I have been thinking.
Maybe it is time for you to go to school.
Really, Father? Really?
(PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
- Whoa!
- (MEOWING)
(GEPPETTO GRUNTS)
Father, what's that big shining thing?
Oh! That's...
That is the sun, my son.
It goes around the Earth once a day.
It's basic, simple science.
You'll learn all about it in school.
Ah! And here are your new schoolmates,
and, ah, Signora Vitelli. Buongiorno.
Geppetto.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
GEPPETTO: (IN ENGLISH)
Oh, oh, oh, Pinocchio! Wait, wait.
Figaro, yes.
It's been so long, I nearly forgot it.
This is your lesson book.
And this is an apple for your teacher.
Now turn around. Let me get a look at you.
Oh.
Very handsome, very handsome.
(CHUCKLES)
Now, Pinocchio.
This town can be very confusing.
There are many, many curving streets,
so pay attention.
And if you get lost, just remember
we are two streets down from the fountain.
I'll come straight home
right after school.
I will be right here when you get back.
And we will eat dinner precisely
at the stroke of : .
Got it, Father. The stroke of : .
(CHUCKLES)
(SOFT EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHUCKLING)
That's right. There you go.
(MEOWING)
Oh! Oh, no! No. Ah!
Figaro, Figaro, no. Off he goes.
My boy.
(SQUAWKING)
Ah! Well, buongiorno, Sofia.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
(IN ENGLISH) Ah! I have some
very good garbage for you.
Ah, there we are.
(GRUNTING)
Mmm. Yum-yum-yum-yum!
(SMACKS LIPS) Mmm!
- (SNORING)
- (LAUGHING)
You miss him already, don't you?
Yes. Well, yes.
- I miss him, too.
- (MEOWS)
Already, yes. Figaro, do you miss him?
Yes? Yes? Well, going to school,
it will be good for him.
Jiminy: (GASPS) School? Jumpin' jeepers. What time is it? (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) First real day on the job and I'm already late!
Sofia: (SQUAWKS)
Jiminy: (SCREAMING) Don't eat me! Don't eat me! Don't eat me!
Sofia: Calm down. I don't like bugs. Too much work. I prefer garbage.
Jiminy: (SIGHS) Thanks, I guess. That's a relief. I thought I was a goner for sure. Cricket's the name. Jiminy Cricket.
Sofia: Nice to meet you. I'm Sofia. So you're new in town. It's a great little...
Jiminy: Excuse me, Sofia. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm Pinocchio's conscience, and I overslept. Could you do me a giant favor and airlift me to the school?
Sofia: Asleep on the job, huh? Who knew they were outsourcing conscience work? Back in my day...
Jiminy: Sofia, I really need to get to him. This little puppet is running around loose on the streets without a conscience. Can you imagine the trouble he's gonna get into?
Sofia: Well, I wouldn't want that on my conscience. Okay, Mr. Right or Wrong. Hold on to your hat.
Jiminy: (SCREAMING)
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