Line of the Night

Sometimes a player says something, either in or out of character, that is so goddamn epic that it just has to be acknowledged. Everyone's favorite acknowledgment is gaining experience points! It's like a cookie, but better. Some characters actually gained the greater part of their XP from sheer smartassery.
This, among other rewards, was officially instituted near the end of Season One.
== Lines of the Night==
=== Season One ===
Episode Seven: "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for the flying orc!" -- Ulfgar, regarding being tackled before he could attack Malvont city guards.
Episode Eight: "I blow a hole in the ship." -- Ulfgar, self-explanatory.
=== Season Three ===
Episode Two: "You mean your tits don't speak Giant?" -- Unknown (possibly Ashra), regarding Yolanda's fantastic rack.
Episode Seven: “Now they’re backwards zombies! ‘Sniarb!!’” -- Tobo, probably regarding the zombie shrapnel that Andrey created.
Episode Nine: "Thanks for coming along, Ethan. We'll let you know if we need Summon Wet Blanket III." -- Yolanda, noticing that Ethan only had Magic Missile and Cause Fear to contribute to the bar fight raging around them.
=== Season Five ===
Season Premiere: Unknown which of these won, but here are the nominees:
*"Can I be a magic item?" "We already have a wand of scouring." -- Ulfgar and Ashra, on the acquisition of magic items.
*"This number is no longer in service." -- Fab Dick, following an extended telepathic conversation.
*"Dammit, Ulfgar! Know your own strength!" -- Claire, probably self-explanatory.
*"You look like you're full of bleeding. I have a scroll of chocolate!" -- Ethan sometimes wishes that he could heal.
*"Speak some Dwarven." "You speak Dwarven!" "I don't!" -- Tobo and his audience, probably regarding the Dwarven tablets of pwning.
Episode Two: "Is your alignment by any chance Chaotic Stupid?" -- Claire, to Fab Dick, on general principles.
Episode Four: "An ape escaped on him, but his face should be okay." -- Ming-ui, regarding Shiolay's fantastic new summon.
Episode Nine: "And then we give him the prestige class Coalition Victory?" -- Ethan, regarding Mr. Snugglesworth's madcap multiclassing plans.
Season Finale: None officially, but a lot of honorary ones.
*"I've had sex with you." -- Trey explaining to Lara the relationship between Shiolay and Sam Ash
*"Out of my way, you incompetent fucks!" -- Mr. Bait Snugglesworth, to the party, after no one could roll above a five. Repeatedly.
*"I should use Mage Hand!", and then, "This in the only way I can be close to you because you won't love me!" -- Ariana to Shiolay, as she prepared to do really unspeakable things with Grease and Mage Hand.
*"But I couldn't buff myself against the heartbreak..." -- Ethan being a smartass about living memory issues.
*"What kind of lie could I tell?" "'I find you very attractive.'" -- Ariana and Ashra, wherein Ashra is sometimes kind of a dick.
*"Have you noticed that your front room has an extra couch?" "No...?" "Yeah, he's that kind of guy." -- Ashra explaining how Solid Snake operates to the owner of the party's chosen inn in Wilderfey Wild.
*"That ain't right." -- Ethan, Shiolay, and Ashra in unison, in response to Ariana's interrogation methods.
*"You did, however, put a five-pound wedge of force up his anus." "It was non-lethal! There was hardly any bleeding!" -- Ashra and Ariana, again regarding Ariana's interrogation methods.
*"Just because I hear the voices in my head doesn't mean I'm crazy!" -- Ethan, during another one of those incidents.
=== Season Six ===
Episode Three: "Knowledge: What the Fuck is That Smell?" -- Gabriel's idea of the most useful knowledge skill under that particular circumstance.
Episode Four: "Well, sir -- " "DON'T CALL ME SIR >:O" -- Some hapless guard and Cyneward. We're still not sure what was going on there, but it was oddly hilarious.
Episode Five: "Knowledge: Local?" "What? Knowledge: Local for HELL?!" -- Heckle and Gabriel, respectively, discussing how best to figure out where they were.
Episode Six: "Okay, are we going to gouge out our eyes to save money?" -- Cyneward weighing the pros and cons of using eyeballs as currency.
Episode Seven: "May Pelor bless us all...?" -- Telamore, just before the party opened a Frozen Fate IN HELL.
Season Finale: "Okay, bird, go fly out into the fire in the elemental plane of fire WHICH IS MADE OF FIRE AND ON FIRE. FIRE." -- Cyneward reminding Yarnwell that the elemental plane of fire did, in fact, contain fire.
=== Season Seven ===
Planning session: "I'm interested in the forest!" -- Chimegumi, attempting to end the conversation on zombie sex. (Not only was I out of character when saying that, I hadn't been given a character yet. But I think I remember people agreeing it qualified, though I didn't have someone to give the EXP to yet.)
Episode One: "Sure, I've boned pretty much everyone once or twice -- I'm a barbarian!" -- Kruglor, on his tendency to throw femurs at people.
Episode Two: "Marco!" -- Kruglor, wading into the water trap to save Fab D.
Episode Three: "IT'S ZOROASTER JONES!" -- Claire, in response to Zoroaster Jones asking if the party knew who he was.
Episode Four: "GARBAGE DAY?!" -- Claire's translation of an enraged red dragon ordering the party to leave or die.
Episode Eight: Three-way tie between:
* "It's the wang on the face of the Northern Continent." -- Ethan, on Baldur.
*"Where is his cooking ingredients?" "You mean where ARE his cooking ingredients!!" -- Herr Doctor, proving that insanity makes you care a lot about grammar.
*"Dear Nerull. How do you feel about Tiamat? Love, Ethan. Also, I would like a pony.” "It'll be a DEAD pony!" "*shrug*" -- Ethan and Ashra, on the results of praying to Nerull.
Episode Nine: "Well, at least the ship looks like shit now." -- Vladomil, after a dramatic and damaging water landing in the otherwise new Jade Kraken III.
Episode Ten: "I think we should play laser tag!" -- Herr Doctor, on alternatives to Claire and Snake's game of Hide and Seek.
Episode Eleven: "Wait, so they broke into your house? Oh, I always tell Ashra not to do these things..." -- Kruglor, on Claire's theft from the Drow Chief
Season Finale: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have seized control of your bank..." -- Kruglor, as he walked into Syscian's Tower with a wand of Greater Inferno
=== Season Eight ===
Episode Two: "This guy is quickly becoming canonical." -Valera Oak III, on Admiral Whitebeard's special skills.
Episode Three: "That has got to be the best advertising I've ever seen." (I'm guessing that this was Halbick Moonin in response to the goblin on fire.)
===Season Nine===
Season Premiere: None officially given, but the two candidates were:
*"Kruglor, did you really die?" "... Many major deities thought so." -- Claire and Kruglor, on how he spent the rest of his youth.
*"My life is a near-death event." "Your death is a near-life event." -- Ethan and Ashra, on Ethan's existence.
Episode Two: "Who the fuck are you?" "I LOVE YOU!" -- A random adventurer at the Lady Nocturne and Ethan, on Ethan's surprising lack of notoriety there.
Episode Three: "When the deathlock who is content to spend eternity getting vengeance is getting impatient, FUCKING SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!" -- Ethan, on Leilah's reticence.
Episode Four: "Well, who is worth dying for?" "My four on the vine." -- Ethan and Leilah, putting words in the mouth of that crazy dwarf.
Episode Five: "I don't resolve land disputes. I kill dragons. I draw a line!" "Well, draw a few more lines and put the names of countries by them, and you'll be fine." -- Ethan and Ashra, on Ethan's possible inherited diplomatic obligations.
Episode Five and a Half: None officially, but here are the candidates:
*"We should take them out drinking." "How is that punctuated?" -- Ethan and Ashra, on fraternizing with the honor guard.
*"Take only adventure, leave only footprints." -- Ethan, on adventuring in historical sites.
*"We mustn't discount that people have personal ideologies. People sometimes do things because they believe in them." -- Ashra, on motivations.
*"Rhetorically, you are all my bitches." -- Ethan, on ... what it sounds like.
Episode Six: None officially because we were too prolifically wiseass to choose, so here are the shitton of candidates:
*"Hey, you don't have ranks in Profession (Someone Else's Bitch). Don't complain." "I have ranks in Profession (Sailor)." -- Ashra and Leilah, on skills.
*"We have a Linux cleric, a Linux mindflayer, and I think I accidentally booted from open source when I crawled out of hell." -- Ethan, on the highly non-standard party.
*"So once they start painting each other's nails, I'm planeshifting." -- Ashra, on Sam and Leilah's discussion of attractive Goneril soldiers.
*"You are so much of a straight man that you actually curve in on yourself." -- Ethan, on Leilah.
*"I mean, you should see these sausages..." "This isn't a brothel, right?" -- Sam and Ethan, on a sausage store in Goneril City.
*"We do not have the *69 scrying table." -- Ethan, on the ScryPad's limited tracing capabilities.
*"(list of possible Power Runes)... So, all I can say is 'trap spells'." "But you can say it for a long time." -- Leilah and Ashra, on Power Runes and Leilah's encyclopedic knowledge of things that can kill everyone.
*"Barron Ganth has ninjas now?" "That's what this parade is for! He has ninjas now! Good luck seeing them. But because of the inverse ninja law, if the entire legion is here, they're fucked." "Yeah, it raises the chance that one of them will roll a one and start humming Snake Eater." -- Leilah, Ethan, and Ashra, on Barron Ganth's parade.
*"Baldur didn't have a dragon force!" "But then where did the fire and the flames come from?" -- Ethan and Ashra, on Baldur's aerial combat capabilities.
*"If you guys can get me coke-herent, I can solve this puzzle." -- Ethan, while freaking out over the dragon illusion and on buff spells.
*"Wall of Stone! Fireball! Dual wielding spellcasters!" "No." -- Leilah and EonRPG, while Leilah was holding Ethan and Zaph one under each arm.
*"Roll above a 10!" "1" "You go back in the box!" -- Deadelfwalking and her d20.
*"No more wishing for dragons!" "Aw." -- Ashra and Ethan, after Ethan's wish came unfortunately breath-weapon-ily true in the illusion sphere.
*"So we've learned some things about the Five..." ""There were four of them, and I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am." -- Leilah and Ashra, on the results of the illusionary dragon challenge.
*"'And what are you dressed up as?' 'Your new Supreme Dictator.'" -- Ashra's imitation of Grax taking over Baldur City on Halloween.
*"Those liches turn into skulls and eat your face. Then they turn back into liches and eat your face again." -- Ethan, on very hardcore liches.
*"Our ship is actually a botnet for Pelor." -- Leilah, on the strange tendency for the party's sentient relics to worship that particular god.
*"Just do as I do. Facepalm and look away." -- Ethan, advising Leilah on how to handle Ashra's interrogation of Fab Dick.
*"Don't let them fuck up Ethan's pretty, pretty princess existence." "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." "Oh! ...Teach me to be a drug dealer?" "Okay!" -- Ashra and Ethan share a ... touching? ... moment in the middle of interrogating Fab D.
*"I was double-checking the ship." "With Zone of Truth?" "These ships, you know how they lie." -- Leilah, Fab D., and Ethan, on Leilah's attempt to catch Fab D with a Zone of Truth.
*"Sarcasm is not defeated by Zone of Truth." -- Ethan, pointing out another flaw in that spell.
Episode Seven: Ashra, for one of the following:
*"Well, I'm eight meters up and invisible, but I'm right there." -- to Snake, on proximity.
*"Well, we've irrigated!" -- after Snake's dramatic detonation.
*"So bitches. You are good at being bitches. Now you are OUR bitches." -- to the scared drug processors, on, well, being bitches.
Episode Nine: "Can I set your dodge?" "To you." -- Waitress at Dodge the Bulette and Leilah, after Leilah entered the bar.
Episode Ten: "Mr. Snugglesworth! I replaced my blood with vodka, Mr. Snugglesworth!" -- Ashra, very drunk on Harvest Eye '14 and still feeling the effects of massive blood loss.
Episode Eleven: "Were-bears? Lycanthropes? MIMICS?" -- Leilah's interpretation of the "wares" allegedly in Warehouse H.
Episode Twelve: None officially given, but the candidates were:
*"Where I’m from, speeches mean something!" - Leilah, on Vargus.
*"Until another tactically sound plan arises. Oh, slipped into Illithid. In Common, that's 'yes'." - Ashra, on the party staying together.
*"I said the ‘m’ word." "I’ll get over it, thrall." - Snake and Ashra, on racial slurs.
Season Finale: None officially given, but the candidates were:
*"...why can I summon goats?" -- Yolanda, checking out the powers she'd gotten since she was last with the party.
*"Hey, now we have flanking on it!" -- Telamore and Baudin Dommilan realizing that both being flung on top of a dragon meant that they both got sneak attacks.
*"Just how powerful is my raging erection?" -- Jaxil Motherfucking Icewinton, on the many meanings of "raging".
*"I'm lawful! Both of me are lawful!" "LAWFULCOPTER!" -- Shiolay/Baudin (being played by the same person) and Claire.
*"The only thing that could kill him were the people he trusted." "Why did you ever trust me?" -- EonRPG and Leilah, regarding the party deciding to let Ulfgar stay dead for the short term in order to finish the Axiomate battle with minimal casualties.
*"I missed Innuendo in 3.5." "Everybody missed Innuendo..." "...if you know what I mean." -- EonRPG, Zoroaster Jones, and Ethan. If you know what they mean.
===Season Ten===
Season Premiere: "Can we exchange serial codes?" -- Goneril Frontline Eleven, at first sight of Vishnu's mech.
Episode Two: "And now, for my second Ferrari..." -- Ashra, on Coriander Highrun's fleet of black airships.
Episode Three: "The stars are brightest when there is no moon." -- Kruglor. Also won Best Idea of the Night.
Episode Four: "Aww, you look like a wounded puppy. It's so ... sickening. I want to punch you." -- Aether, to her pouting ex-boyfriend.
Episode Five: None given.
Episode Six: "At first there was scrap, and then I came along with my dwarven wenches and built the War Forges!" "No wonder we're crap." -- Cicero Tiberius Shadolan and Eleven, on Warforged origins.
Episode Seven: "Your momma's so fat she has 99% myelination!" -- Cicero, to Xoth.
Episode Eight: "Needs more cowbell!" -- Leilah, shortly before smashing the Dark Lantern.
Episode Nine: "Worshiping Vecna turned out to be a handy decision!" -- Cicero
Episode Ten: "I detest sunlight!" -- Cicero, pretending to be Tyro.
Season Finale: "There were so many whorls on that thing!" "WHORLS." -- Leilah, with help from Cicero and Ashra, on the truly horrible umber hulk.
===Season Twelve===
Season Premiere: "Are you soliciting me?" "I think solicitors are usually on the other end of that." -- Semna Ashtad and Ashra, on Cicero's advances.
Episode Two: "I'll be sure to avoid laying down any sick beats." -- Semna, in response to Prince Avimeus's warning to the party that no one should make a spark near the natural gas.
Episode Three: "That sucked." -- Prince Avimeus, on the death of his father and utter destruction of his kingdom.
Episode Four: Semna, for one of the following:
*"Classy motherfucker." -- on the man traveling only at night and drinking only the wine she gave him.
*"What would be an appropriate demonic term for 'wuss'?" -- preparing to chat with the balor.
*"Are there any clearly defined legal statutes about setting a demon on a town?" -- on redirecting said balor.
Episode Five: "It's pretty obscure, you probably haven't heard of it." -- Ashra, on Benin Falls
Episode Six: None given.
Episode Seven: "Let's make like a cloud and leave!" -- Leilah, on Wind Walk
Episode Eight: "'Mom, when's dinner?' 'My vision is clouded...' 'So, like, can I have a snack or something?' 'My vision is clouded...'" -- Ashra, making fun of Leilah's relationship to Anahita
Episode Nine: The entire conversation/seduction with the sexy dwarven captain -- Cicero
Episode Ten: "Dancing? Vorpal?" -- Ashra's suggestions of enchantments the ship isn't allowed to get
===Season Thirteen===
Season Premiere: "There's no 'k' in 'necbeard' for him." -- Grax, on Icania the nerdy necromancer.
Episode Two: "It's hemp! It's all natural!" -- Scarlett, on how Rope Trick can hide drugs.
Episode Three: Nicolo, for the following:
*"I was expecting you eleven knocks from now." -- to Macavia's servant, interpreting the "28" over the door as how many times to knock
*"My word is ... my word."
*"I'm gonna try charades." :D *thumbsup* -- to the earless skeleton
*"I have allergies." -- in response to Ethan's offer of Wolves' Milk
*"The difference is, the gears in MY pancreas are covered by MY health insurance." -- to Grax
*"I'm madly in love with you!" -- to Mystria Avo
Episode Four: "So that was a thing." -- Icania, on his infinite obliteration and subsequent reincarnation as the golem he'd been constructing.
Episode Five: Shared between Nicolo, Scarlett, and Grax, for the following:
*Nicolo
**"Academic liason." -- describing himself
**"Fuck it, I start running!" -- in response to hallucinating his father
**"Never heard of you." -- to Talnec Franco
**"Worst case scenario is 300 hours of running." "And after 23, we'll worry about you!" -- with EonRPG, on Icania's travels.
*Scarlett
**"It's your conscience!" -- on the voice in Ollie's head
*Grax
**"You are now immune to ....." "Also, love." "The following do not apply to you...." "Also, friendship." -- with EonRPG, on Icania's transformation
**"Wake up in the morning feeling strictly better than P Diddy?" -- on Helga
**"And he's been walking around with that exact face for the last 23 hours." "Don't you mean the last 14 years?" -- with EonRPG, on >:E
**"I have Silent Image!" "YOU'RE BLIND!" -- with Semna, on, um, yeah.
**"This is why I mess with Ashra!" -- on puzzle-envy
Episode Six: "Now I have someone to blame!" -- Helga, on why Nicolo's reappearance is good news to Mysteria Avo
Episode Seven: All of the water puns made by every party member, but mostly by Nicolo.
Episode Eight: "Shit, that stuff's hot, dude." -- Ollie, on fencing goods on the Elemental Plane of Fire
: Episode Eight Overtime: None given.
===Season Fourteen===
Season Premiere: "The first time I cast Magic Mouth, I made a mistake and it just said 'blowjob ... blowjob ... blowjob ...'" -- Cicero, on abuse of magical powers.
Episode Two: "Your mother was a saint and your father was a pretty nice guy!" -- Felix Fineas Faust's player (the second person to win LotN before officially joining the game), on how to provoke a demon.
Episode Three: "Okay, I owe you one Red Bull." -- Cicero makes amends for breaking Tamosa 9's wing.
Episode Four: "The tea was good, it only tasted bad because of the date rape." -- Galland the Lucky, on Ashra's past with Alphabet.
Episode Five: "Hobbs, I believe you sunk my battleship!" -- Felix Fineas Faust, on Ganth's puzzle reading simply "e4".
Episode Six: "It's your mom!" -- Faust, on a puzzle starting with "Round she is, yet flat as a board..."
Episode Seven: "Can I have the dead civilians as candy?" "That's sick! ... I want them!" -- Faust (with help from Galland) on the candy-bystander economy.
Episode Eight: "You have four fingers on one hand! You're pretty cool with my parents! Prepare to die!" -- Kanye, on Haveo Gloriosa
Episode Nine: Cicero, for the following about his solo adventures:
*"Remember that ambush I told you about? It looks like that ship ... has sailed." (Yeaaaaahhhhh!) 
*"They're lucky I'm such a nice guy, they tried to sneak up on us and I ... let it slide." (Yeaaaaahhhhh!) 
*"They wanted to use the mountain as cover ... I made sure it worked." (Yeaaaaahhhhh!)
*"They thought we wouldn't see them, turns out their plan was ... full of hot air." (Yeaaaaahhhhh!)
*"I think we can all learn from this, demon summoning ... is a slippery slope." (Yeaaaaahhhhh!)
*"Anyone trying to fight us ... is on thin ice." (Yeaaaaahhhhh!)
*"Now that I'm done with that, I think I'lll ... av-a-lanche break." (Yeaaaaah!)
Episode Ten:"Wait, so you wrote some runes on your axe and it became intelligent ... can you do that to Rostan?" -- Ashra, on Kanye's golem rune capabilities
Season Finale: "Aether moved to Bisau with her baby, so we can call her and ask if it's exploded!" "The city, or the baby?" -- Kanye, with help from Ashra, on Hemera the Loved
===Season Fifteen===
Season Premiere: " "Sounds like they're a bit ... short on staff!" -- Faust, on the gnome ship.
Episode Two: "I want to kill someone. Let's take a vote on least favorite party member." "Hello!" -- Rostan, with help from Kanye(?), on party politics
Episode Three: "Wait... she's an octopus?" -- Einsof, on Ashra
Episode Four: "Is Leilah depressed?" -- Ashra, on Leilah's current elevation and/or san points
Episode Five: None given.
Episode Six: The Worst Illithid, in his entirety -- Faust
Episode Seven: "Can and will do!" "Cannon will do?" -- Faust and Ashra (simultaneously), with help from The Girl with No Name, on gunslinger willingness
Episode Eight: None given.
Season Finale: "She's beyond cougar to, like, prehistoric sabertooth." -- Ashra, on The Girl with No Name's romantic status. 
===Season Sixteen===
Season Premiere: "A gay render!" -- Icania, on Mortzeg's mother
Episode Two: "You see me -- " "No I don't." -- Einsof, with help from Dread Pirate Lucy, on first encounters
Episode Three: "Can I have a spell of castrate?" "Yes, it's self only!" -- Mortzeg and Faust, on new spells
Episode Four: "Xenteroth has a history of breaking things into pieces and giving the pieces to opposing factions, so that they'll never ever get back together -- kind of like Taylor Swift." -- Ashra, on amulet protocol
Category:Game Mechanics
Category:For the lulz