1993 MGM UA Home Video Logo Bloopers Season 3 Complete Full Length Version by Thunderbirds101 Films Inc.

Sam: Places everyone! Roll camera! Cue the logo!
(MGM lion without those captions)
Sam: Uh, Scotty?
Scotty: You sent for me, Sam?
Sam: Where are the captions?
Scotty: You said "cue the logo," so I cued the logo.
Sam: Yeah, but where are the captions?
Mike: They've gone on strike.
Mary: Captions Union Local 123.
Anna: The captions want more money.
Sam: Get those captions back to work or they're fired!
Thunderbirds: Watch it, Sam! You shouldn't be such a control freak anyway.
Sam: Yessir. Asswipe!
Thunderbirds: I heard that!
(The captions MGM/UA Home Video without the MGM lion)
Jimmy: Well, look at that!
Hank: First the lion without captions, now the captions without the lion.
Guy: The captions came back, but the lion's gone on strike! Hahahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Sam: Don't steal my laugh lines, Guy!
Beulah: Chill out, Sam!
Abby: You don't own that laugh line, remember?
Sam: They're right, Sam.
Don't get upset when people use your laugh line.
Remain
calm.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!
THAT LAUGH LINE BELONGS TO ME AND ANYONE WHO STEALS IT IS A THIEF, YOU HEAR ME?
THIEF THIEF THIEF THIEF THIEF THIEF THIEF THIEF!!
*BOOM!!*
Anna: Sam? Are you all right?
Sam: I'm all right, Anna. I just get so pissed off by people stealing my laugh line.
Anna: It's nothing to get upset over. You'll have to accept it sooner or later, okay?
Sam: Okay, Anna. I'll try, but it won't be easy.
(Oakley)
LH Michael: Oakley.
LH Michelle: "The World is Quakers!" Hahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
(MGM/CBS Home Video)
Sam: SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Scotty: You bellowed, Saaaaaaaaaaaam?
Sam: This is not MGM/CBS Home Video and it's not 1980, you dig?
Scotty: I'm no clock-watcher! Sheesh!
Thunderbirds: Shush the sheesh, Scotty!
Sam: Thunderbirds, you tell one more person to shush the sheesh and I'll sic the Sheesh Alliance on you!
Thunderbirds: You do that, Sam, and I'll call the Shush the Sheesh Foundation!
(Lacoste)
Mike: Oh wow!
Mary: I could've had a Lacoste!
Anna: Lacoste, twice the size of a Prada! Hahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Sam: Scotty, come here!
Scotty: Oh brother! Not another lecture!
Sam: Yes, another lecture. You don't seem to know what should be on the logo.
Scotty: Judas Priest, Sam! Every time you lecture me, you make me feel like a second grade kid in school!
Sam: This is the MGM/UA Home Video logo, Scotty.
Scotty: I've got eyes, Sam! I wasn't born yesterday, you know! I don't need any lectures from you to tell me what the WB Shield looks like! Sheesh!
Thunderbirds: Shush the sheesh!
Sam: Hello? Get me the Speaker of the House of Representatives in Washington, DC, please.
Thunderbirds: Sam! What are you doing?
Sam: Hello? Mr. Speaker? Could you guys in Congress pass a law banning the Shush the Sheesh Foundation?
Thunderbirds: Oh no you don't, Sam! Guy, cut the line!
Guy: Will do, Thunderbirds!
("You're Despicable!" ---Daffy Duck)
Daffy Duck: You're desssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssspicable!
Sam: Hello? Hello? All right, Thunderbirds, did you have the line cut?
Thunderbirds: Yes, Sam. I heard you trying to get Congress to ban the Shush the Sheesh Foundation. The President would have vetoed the bill on the ground that endless sassing would have resulted.
Sam: SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Scotty: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!
Sam: I won't take any more of your sassing me! You're fired!
Scotty: Fired?
FIRED!?
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
MICROSOFT SAM, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FIRE ME!
RE-HIRE ME OR I'LL KILL MYSELF AND IF YOU DENY RESPONSIBILITY YOU'D BE GUILTY OF PERJURY, YOU HEAR ME?
GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!
*BOOM!!*
Beulah: Scotty! Are you all right?
Scotty: I'm all right, Beulah. Why does Sam keep firing me every time I protest his control-freak attitude?
Beulah: Don't take it so hard, Scotty. I'll see if we can get Sam to re-hire you.
Scotty: Thanks, Beulah. That makes me feel a whole lot better.
Thunderbirds: And me too!
Sam: Aha! Fraternizing with a person I'd fired! This is mutiny! Get the rope!
(Angry P-Head and Two-Headed P-Head)
Angry P-Head: You're not hanging anybody, Microsoft Sam!
Two-Headed P-Head: You bring back Radar Overseer Scotty or there will be serious consequences!
Sam: AAAAAAGGGGHHH!! Not the Angry P-Head and the Two-Headed P-Head! Send them back! Now!
Anna: Calm down, Sam. You should know better than to let parodies of logos scare you.
Sam: You're right, Anna. But it's all Radar Overseer Scotty's fault!
Scotty: I deny that, Sam!
Sam: Liar, liar, pants on fire!
Angry P-Head: Don't give us any ideas, Microsoft Sam!
Two-Headed P-Head: Radar Overseer Scotty did not coax us into coming here.
Angry P-Head: We're here on orders of the Devil and She-Devil.
Two-Headed P-Head: Since Thunderbirds101 put a restriction on their appearances in his videos, they sent us to torment all of you.
Sam: I still say it's Scotty's fault, and this mutineer deserves eternal torment for it!
Scotty: You double-crosser, Sam! I am not a mutineer!
Sam: You are too a mutineer!
Scotty: I am not!
Sam: You are too!
Scotty: I am not!
Sam: You are too!
Angry P-Head: You are all equally guilty!
Two-Headed P-Head: If you don't surrender your souls, we will shit all over you!
Sam: You'll never take us alive! Never!
Anna: And don't you dare get filthy with us, you evil logo parodies!
Angry P-Head: Enough! Shall we let them have it?
Two-Headed P-Head: Let's do it! Bombs away!
(CENSORED)
[PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP]
Sam: Gugh! Not again! Eeeewww! Eeeeeewwww!
[Sam barfing]
Scotty: Look what you did to me! Eeeewww! Eeeeeewwww!
[Scotty barfing]
Beulah: Sick! Gross! Eeeewww! Eeeeeewwww!
[Beulah barfing]
Thunderbirds: Filthmongers! Eeeewww! Eeeeeeeeeewwww!
[Thunderbirds barfing]
Anna: How dare you evil logo parodies get filthy with us! Take that!
[Anna releasing power to the Angry P-Head and the Two-Headed P-Head]
*GIGANTIC EXPLOSION!!*
Angry P-Head: Curses! Foiled again!
Two-Headed P-Head: You win this time, but we'll be back!
Anna Reading: Later, after Sam, Scotty, Beulah and Thunderbirds got cleaned up and Sam apologized to Scotty and re-hired him...
(FU)
Mike: Fu?
Mary: As in Manchu?
Anna: Fu Manchu! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Sam: Who's the insubordinate that put "F-U" on the logo?
Scotty: Not me.
Jimmy: Not me.
Hank: Not me.
Guy: Not me.
Sam: Let me remind you that you're never supposed to say "F-U" to your boss.
Thunderbirds: Probably the Angry P-Head and Two-Headed P-Head in retaliation for being beaten back.
Sam: They said "F-U" to me? Well, I say "F-U" back to them! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
(PU)
LH Michael: "P-U?"
LH Michelle: That logo's becoming a real stinker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
("That's all Folks!")
Beulah: That's all Folks from Looney Tunes?
Abby: Tom Cat meets Bugs Bunny! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Scotty: Oops! Methinks I goofed again!
Sam: Youthinks right, Scotty. Let's try once more.
Thunderbirds: Uh, not now, Sam. It's getting late. Let's pick it up there in the morning.
Sam: Places everyone!
Sidney: Ready when you are, Microsoft Sam!
Scotty: Just remember, Sidney: the logo is tricky.
Jimmy: And so are the captions.
Hank: Jimmy and I were a bit nervous at first, and so was Guy.
Guy: But then we got over it.
Sam: Roll camera! Cue the lion!
(Waffle/UA Home Video)
Mike: Waffle/UA Home Video?
Mary: The Waffle Brothers meet the Pancake Sisters! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sam: Not "Waffle/UA Home Video," "MGM/UA Home Video."
Sidney: I read you loud and clear, Sam.
(MGM/Blazers Home Video)
Anna: MGM/Blazers Home Video? Who are they?
Sidney: My old high school football team. I was a quarterback.
Beulah: How did you do, Sidney?
Sidney: I threw one pass.
Abby: For a touchdown?
Sidney: What touchdown? I threw a pass at a cheerleader.
Dave: Not much of a football career, was it?
Sidney: She was the one who tackled me.
(Albertsons)
LH Michael: Albertsons.
LH Michelle: "Catch Us If You Can."
Sam: SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Scotty: You bellowed, Saaaaaaaaaaaam?
Sam: It's not Albertsons, it's MGM/UA Home Video, capeesh?
Scotty: In the words of Steve Martin, well excuuuuuuuuuuuuse meee!
(Pepsi)
Mike: Pepsi? What is this, a drink?
Mary: Pepsi without gas? Eeeewww! Eeeewww!
[Mary barfing]
(Uniqlo)
Sam: RADAR OVERSEER SCOTTY!!
Scotty: MICROSOFT SAM!!
Thunderbirds: Simmer down, you two.
Sidney: Thunderbirds's right, Sam. You'll gain nothing by firing Scotty over something as trivial as these bloopers.
Sam: There is nothing trivial about it and if you interfere once more, Sidney, you, Scotty and Thunderbirds will all be fired!
(Just Kidding!)
Sam: Just kidding! Hahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
(Johnson's)
Beulah: Johnson's baby logo?
Abby: We all got our shampoos last year.
Sam: Except for Scotty.
Scotty: Sheesh!
(Sheesh Alliance)
Thunderbirds: Scotty didn't do his taxes? For shame! And what's Sam doing with this silly Sheesh Alliance?
Sam: It was a joke, Thunderbirds. Scotty did his taxes like everyone else. But the Sheesh Alliance is real.
Thunderbirds: Well, take this, excessive sheesher!
(Shush the Sheesh Foundation)
Thunderbirds: The Shush the Sheesh Foundation. Dedicated to protecting the innocent from excessuve barrages of sheeshes.
Sam: Take it easy, Sam.
It's only an organization.
Remain
calm.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!
THUNDERBIRDS101, I DON'T CARE IF THIS IS YOUR FUCKING VIDEO!
I NEED SOME AUTHORITY AND I SAY THE SHUSH THE SHEESH FOUNDATION SHOULD BE DECLARED A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION, YOU HEAR ME?
CRIMINAL CRIMINAL CRIMINAL CRIMINAL CRIMINAL CRIMINAL CRIMINAL CRIMINAL!!
*BOOM!!*
(Red NYET)
Sam: AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!! What in the blessed name of Elvis is that thing?
Red NYET: I am the Red NYET!
Mike: A Red NYET?
Mary: Did it come from Russia?
Anna: From Russia with love? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Red NYET: The Red NYET has no love. The Red NYET has come for all of you!
Thunderbirds: Who sent you here, Red NYET?
Red NYET: The Devil and She-Devil sent me here to claim all of your as their own.
Scotty: We have done nothing wrong.
Jimmy: We all believe in God.
Hank: We have crosses to raise high.
Guy: And raise them to the sky.
Sidney: Tell the Devil and She-Devil I don't believe in them because I'm Jewish.
Red NYET: If you don't surrender your souls, I will shit all over you!
Anna: Don't you dare get filthy with us! Take that!
[Anna releasing power to the Red NYET]
*B-B-B-BOOM!!*
Anna: It's all right, Sam. The Red NYET won't bother us again.
Sam: Thanks, Anna. You saved my life again.
(Devil and She-Devil)
(ViD Theme)
Devil: So! You stood up to the Red NYET!
She-Devil: Do you think you can stand up to us?
Sam: Get thee behind us, Devil and She-Devil!
Thunderbirds: By my count, you sent three scary logos at us and we beat them all back.
Devil: You still have to reckon with our powers, Thunderbirds101.
She-Devil: If you just surrender to me, Thunderbirds, I'll take you places you never dreamed of going.
Angel: Caught you again, Devil and She-Devil!
God: You never know when to quit, do you?
Devil: No more interference! I mean it!
She-Devil: Our claim on Thunderbirds101 and his friends is justified and any interference will be met with untold devastation!
God: Unacceptable! Take that!
[God releasing power to The Devil and She-Devil]
*GIGANTIC EXPLOSION!!*
[The Devil and She-Devil falling back]
*LOUD CRASH!!*
Devil: Curses! Foiled again! One of these days, Thunderbirds101 and his friends will be ours forever!
She-Devil: And a curse on anyone who tries to prevent our statements from becoming prophetic!
Angel: Your curses are in vain, you infernal monsters!
God: Sore losers, yes. Prophets, no.
Devil: Oh sphincter!
(Bon Jovi)
Beulah: Bon Jovi. I just love their music.
Abby: So do I. I once got Bono's autograph.
(Blank Logo)
Scotty: Uh-oh! Methinks I goofed again.
Sidney: Don't blame yourself, Scotty. If I hadn't accidentally kicked that can of paint over...
Sam: So! I knew all along you'd be screwing up the MGM/UA Home Video logo, Sidney! Pack up! You're fired!
Thunderbirds: Sam, re-hire Sidney immediately, or I'll call Mr. MGM!
Sam: Never! Sidney's firing is justified, you hear? Justified! And if you say "justified my ass" again, I'll justify your ass, but good!
Thunderbirds: Don't you dare threaten me, Microsoft Sam! I'm telling Mr. MGM on you!
Sam: If you bring Sidney back, Thunderbirds, you're a dead man! You hear me? D-E-A-D dead!
(MS)
(Microsoft Sam Productions Inc.)
Mr. MGM: Microsoft Sam, are you threatening Thunderbirds101's life over the issue of Sidney's employment here at Thunderbirds101 Films Inc.?
Sam: Not "Thunderbirds101 Films Inc.," Mr. MGM, "Microsoft Sam Films Inc." I've taken over this studio and Thunderbirds101 is fired, you hear me? F-I-R-E-D fired!
Thunderbirds: Take it easy, Thunderbirds.
Sam's being a control freak again.
Stay
cool.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum
is
coming
on!
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
MICROSOFT SAM, HOW DARE YOU USURP MY STUDIO!
I'LL HAVE MR. MGM NAIL YOU TO THE MGM/UA HOME VIDEO LOGO FOR THIS
YOU PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE!!
*BOOM!!*
Mr. MGM: Now look what you did, Microsoft Sam! You made Thunderbirds101 throw a tantrum! Re-hire him and Sidney immediately or I'll nail you to the MGM/UA Home Video logo again!
Sam: Oh noes! Not that! No no no no no no no no no no no no no nooooooooooooooooooooo!!
Mr. MGM: Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! And I mean it this time!
Sam: Okay. I know when I'm licked. Thunderbirds and Sidney, you're both re-hired.
Thunderbirds: Thanks, Sam.
Sidney: Thanks, Sam.
(That's all Folks!)
LH Michael: That's all Folks from Looney Tunes?
LH Michelle: Where's the rest of the match?
Sidney: I guess we forgot it.
Thunderbirds: Sam got so obsessed with getting the MGM/UA Home Video logo right that we all forgot about the rest of the match.
Sam: I'm sorry for acting like a control freak. I guess I'm just cursed with perfectionism.
Anna: That's all right, Sam. I still love you.
Thunderbirds: Let's all go out to eat, gang.
Sidney: Great idea, Thunderbirds! Where are we going?
Thunderbirds: Where else?
Thunderbirds reading: CHEZ MONYOU!!!
Sam: Oh gastritis!
Sam: Places, everyone! Roll camera! Loe the kogo!
Sidney: What's a kogo?
Sam: What did you say, Sidney?
Sidney: I said "what's a kogo"?
Sam: I'm not sure I follow you, Sidney.
Thunderbirds: You said "loe the kogo", Sam, and Sidney just asked what a keeld is.
Mike: Does a kogo wear shoes?
Mary: Or does it go barefoot?
Anna: Sam's moving in for a kogo! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Thunderbirds: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sam: What's so funny, Thunderbirds?
Thunderbirds: "Loe the kogo!" Hahahahahahahahahahaha soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Sam: Steal my laugh line once more, Thunderbirds, and I'll loe your kogo!
Sidney: I get it! "Loe the kogo" is a spoonerism of "cue the logo"!
(Cut to the logo version and the theme song plays, but nothing appears and the theme screeches to a halt.)
Sam: Hold on! I'm the director! I'm the one who says "cue the lion".
Sidney: Sorry I jumped on you.
Sam: Roll camera! Cue the logo!
(The MGM/UA Home Video logo plays, but it only has "MGM/UA" with no "Home Video".)
Sam: Uh, Scotty?
Scotty: What, Sam?
Sam: Where's the Home Video?
Scotty: Back in the hi--
Jimmy: Take it easy, Scotty!
Hank: You know Sam gets pissed off when he asks "Where's the Home Video" and you say "Back in the hive".
Guy: That joke is so old.
Sam: How old is it?
Thunderbirds: So old that Adam told it to Eve in the Garden of Eden.
(The MGM/UA Home Video logo plays again, but it only has "Home Video" with no "MGM/UA".)
Beulah: Ah, here's the Home Video.
Abby: But where's the MGM/UA?
Mike: Probably went to the hive to retrieve the Home Video! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sam: (screams angrily) ASSWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE!!
Mike: Take it easy, Mike. Sam just had a gut reaction. Stay. Cool. Uh-oh! Tantrum. Coming. On. Now! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! EVERY TIME I TEASE MICROSOFT SAM HE CALLS ME AN ASSWIPE! WELL, SAM, I WANT YOU TO STOP IT, YOU HEAR ME? STOP IT YOU SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH SONOFABITCH!!! (BOOM!!)
(The MGM/UA Home Video logo plays again, but the captions are gone!)
LH Michael: Look, Michelle; a blank lion.
LH Michelle: It must be a fan of "Match Game".
Sam: (screams again) SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Scotty: (screams back) SAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
Sam: Don't mock me, Scotty. Where are the captions?
Scotty: Don't get so hyper, Sam. You wanted the logo, didn't you?
Sam: But where are the captions?
Scotty: Coming right up, you tyrant!
Sam: I AM NOT A TYRANT!
(The captions "MGM/UA Home Video" come in without the lion!)
Thunderbirds: Captions, we get captions.
Sidney: We get your captions every day.
Sam: (screams again) SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Scotty: (screams again) Quit yelling at me, Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!
Sam: I want the captions in the logo, you hear me?! The captions in the logo!
Scotty: All right, all right! Sheesh!
Thunderbirds: (in a low voice) Shush the sheesh!
(The MGM/UA Home Video logo plays again, but it comes in even closer and instead of "MGM/UA Home Video", it literally says "The captions in the logo!")
Mike: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Did you see that, Mary?
Mary: Sam wanted the captions on the logo and look what he got!
Anna: The shield says "The captions in the logo"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sam: (snaps) RADAR OVERSEER SCOTTY!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!!
Scotty: Fired?...FIRED!?...NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! NOT AGAIN, MICROSOFT SAM! THINK OF MY FAMILY AND MY LOVED ONES! IF YOU DON'T RE-HIRE ME I'LL KILL MYSELF AND YOU'LL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE YOU DOOFUS DOOFUS DOOFUS DOOFUS DOOFUS DOOFUS DOOFUS DOOFUS!!! (BOOM!!)
Thunderbirds: You heard him, Sam! If you don't re-hire him, I'm telling Mr. MGM on you!
Sam: (grabs Scotty) Bullshit! Scotty's firing is justified, you hear?! Justified!
Scotty: Put me down, you control freak!
Beulah: (angrily) You heard him, Sam! Do you want Mr. MGM to nail you to the MGM/UA Home Video logo again?
Thunderbirds: Re-hire Scotty or I call Mr. MGM!
(In an act of criminal offense, Sam sets Scotty down and takes him hostage. He puts a gun to Scotty's head.)
Sam: You'll do nothing of the kind, Thunderbirds!
Scotty: (distressed) Sam, get that goddamn gun out of my face!
Sam: (announces) Don't make any move to call Mr. MGM or Radar Overseer Scotty gets a hole in the head! I mean it!
(The MGM/UA Home Video logo plays again, but in response to Sam's hostage-taking of Scotty, the captions say "MGM resents MICROSOFT SAM!")
Officer Flanigan: (appears) What's going on here?
Thunderbirds: Microsoft Sam's holding Scotty hostage, Officer Flanigan.
Officer Flanigan: All right, Microsoft Sam, what's the big idea? Release Radar Overseer Scotty immediately!
(Sam continues to aim his gun to Scotty's head.)
Sam: No dice, Officer! I demand ransom!
Thunderbirds: Ransom?
Sam: Promise not to tell Mr. MGM and I'll let Scotty live.
Thunderbirds: And you'll re-hire Scotty?
Sam: Why should I re-hire a chronic insubordinate?
Thunderbirds: Because I outrank you in this studio, that's why!
Officer Flanigan: Release Scotty now and I promise no charges will be filed against you.
(Reluctantly, Sam finally releases Scotty.)
Sam: Well, all right. You talked me into it.
Officer Flanigan: But next time, watch it!
Scotty: Gee, it feels good to be free again.
Beulah: (hugs Scotty) Oh Scotty! I love you!
Scotty: (hugs Beulah) I love you too.
(Furiously, Sam holds the two at gunpoint, thus taking them both hostage.)
Sam: Oh no you don't! I disapprove of your being together! Scotty, if you even propose to Beulah, you're both dead, you hear me?! D-E-A-D dead!
Thunderbirds: Don't make me bring Officer Flanigan back to arrest you!
(Sam turns his attention to Thunderbirds and points his gun at him.)
Sam: If you do, Thunderbirds, I'll sic the Devil and She-Devil on you!
Thunderbirds: And if you do that, Sam, I'll call on God and the Angel to beat them back.
Sam: All right, Thunderbirds101, you asked for it!
(The Devil and She-Devil show up in the MGM/UA Home Video logo version with the VID Theme accompanying them.)
Beulah: (shocked) Oh noes! Not the Devil and She-Devil again!
Abby: (shocked) Grab hold of the nearest cross!
Devil: Hands off of those roods!
She-Devil: You know they make our tails grow limp!
Thunderbirds: No, no, no, no, NO! Sam, don't you know I got a restriction on the Devil and She-Devil's appearances in my videos?! Get them out of here!
Officer Flanigan: Microsoft Sam, I'm putting you under arrest for taking Scotty and Beulah hostage.
Sam: (protests) Stay right where you're at, Officer! One false move, and I'll have the Devil and She-Devil torment not only Scotty and Beulah but Thunderbirds101 as well!
Thunderbirds: I lift my call to God Almighty.
God: (appears) I hear your call, Thunderbirds101.
Angel: (appears) Are these infernal imps bothering you again?
Thunderbirds: Truth is, Sam coaxed them into coming here.
Sam: (fiercely) You stoolie, Thunderbirds!
God: For shame, Microsoft Sam! I should just let the Devil and She-Devil torment you for your actions here.
Devil: You see? Even the Almighty says Sam's actions are shameful.
She-Devil: All the more reason for us to claim him.
Thunderbirds: Get thee behind me, Devil and She-Devil! I stand unmoved by your wicked, wicked ways.
She-Devil: (grabs Dave) Wanna bet, Thunderbirds? You and I need some time alone together.
Beulah: (shocked) Jeez Louise! The She-Devil's taken Thunderbirds hostage!
Abby: (angrily, to the She-Devil) You leave Thunderbirds alone! He's mine!
She-Devil: (turns to Abby) Do you mind? Away with you!
(The She-Devil zaps Abby until it results in an explosion, knocking her out.)
SFX: BOOM!!
(Abby is now on the floor, unconscious with her clothes damaged.)
Beulah: (alarmed) Abby!
Devil: She'll be in our hands soon enough.
She-Devil: (still holding Thunderbirds) If our demands are not met by midnight, everyone in this studio will be ours forever!
Angel: What demands?
Devil: Let me take control of Microsoft Sam.
She-Devil: And let me take control of Thunderbirds101. I like his style.
Thunderbirds: Really, She-Devil! You're too dangerous for me!
Abby: (wakes up, dazed) Who...what...where am I?
Beulah: Relax, Abby. You'll be all right.
Devil: That's far enough!
She-Devil: Give us Sam and Dave or we'll shit all over you!
God: Unacceptable! Take that!
(He zaps the Devil and She-Devil until it culminates in a massive explosion. The words "GIGANTIC EXPLOSION!!" appear.)
SFX: B-B-B-B-BOOM!!!
(The Devils fall down through the MGM/UA Home Video logo version.)
SFX: LOUD CRASH!!
Devil: (dazed) Curses! Foiled again!
She-Devil: (dazed) Oh Thunderbirds101, I wish one day the two of us could be alone together.
Thunderbirds: (offscreen) The only way that would happen is if Hell freezes over.
She-Devil: (dazed) Oh sphincter!
(Fade out, then fade back into the rings again with text of narration over them, concerning the aftermath of the hostage incident.)
Sidney: (narrating) Officer Flanigan took Sam into custody and booked him on charges of hostage-taking. Thunderbirds re-hired Scotty and took over the task of directing. And the 1993 MGM/UA Home Video Logo Bloopers continue...
(Instead of the MGM/UA Home Video logo, the caption "MGM/CBS Home Video" comes in.)
Thunderbirds: No, that's not right.
(Instead of the MGM/UA Home Video logo, the caption "MGM Home Entertainment" comes in.)
Mike: MGM Home Entertainment?
Mary: You have presents for me?
Anna: If they release Sam, I hope he'll buy me presents.
Thunderbirds: It won't be easy. Hostage-taking is a serious offense.
(Instead of the MGM/UA Home Video, the Looney Tunes caption comes in.)
Scotty: Uh-oh! Methinks I goofed again.
Jimmy: Youthinks right, Scotty.
Hank: The logo should display "MGM/UA Home Video," not "Looney Tunes." We're not with davemadson at the moment.
Guy: Will they release Sam anytime soon?
Sidney: If the case goes to trial, I don't see that happening.
(Instead of the MGM/UA Home Video logo, the Merrie Melodies caption comes in.)
Mary: They're playing my song again.
LH Michael: You always say that when the Merrie Melodies caption appears?
Mary: I can't help it, LH Michael.
LH Michelle: That's understandable. I'd react the same way if the caption said "LH Michelle Melodies".
Thunderbirds: I just got off the phone with Officer Flanigan.
Beulah: What did he say, Thunderbirds?
Thunderbirds: Thanks to confessions from Sam and a plea deal, he won't see any jail time.
Abby: That's a relief, Thunderbirds.
Thunderbirds: However, he will need psychiatric care, since he suffered a relapse into control freak tendencies.
Anna: I'll burn a candle in the window for him.
(Instead of the MGM/UA Home Video logo, the phrase "That's all, Folks!" comes in.)
Sidney: Not again, Scotty.
Scotty: Sorry. I just haven't been the same since that hostage incident.
Beulah: (hugs Scotty) Don't worry, Scotty. I still love you.
Scotty: (hugs Beulah) And I still love you too, Beulah.
Abby: And I love you, Thunderbirds.
Thunderbirds: I love you too, Abby. Let's take the rest of the day off and pick things up in the morning. 
Prologue (1993 MGM/UA Home Video Logo Bloopers 59: Hostages)
Robosoft 3 Reading: In our last episode of 1993 MGM/UA Home Video Logo Bloopers…
Robosoft 3 Narrating: "Microsoft Sam, lapsing into control-freak tendencies again, took Radar Overseer Scotty hostage. Officer Flanigan arrested Sam on the spot, but not before Sam summoned up the Devil and She-Devil to torment our heroes. The She-Devil has made yet another advance on Thunderbirds101, but God intervened and sent the infernal monsters back to their lair. With Sam undergoing psychiatric therapy to cure him of his control-freak tendencies once and for all, Thunderbirds took the task of directing."
Thunderbirds: Places everyone!
Sidney: Ready when you are, T.B.
Thunderbirds: Roll camera! Cue the lion!
(Q) 
Scotty: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Jimmy: What’s so funny, Scotty?
Scotty: “Q Lion!” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Thunderbirds: Didn’t we do this gag before?
Hank: Yes, we did, Thunderbirds.
Guy: In “1993 MGM/UA Home Video Logo Bloopers 51: Microsoft Sam Goes Wild!”
Sidney: Well, Thunderbirds said “Q Lion.”
Thunderbirds: Not the letter “Q,” the word “cue.” And it’s not a Q Lion, it’s an MGM/UA Home Video Logo.
(Pampers)
Thunderbirds: Very Funny! Hah hah hah!
(Monopoly)
Mike: Monopoly?
Mary: Have we gone back in time?
Anna: Back in time! What a rush! Hahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
(Yahoo!)
Beulah: Yahoo? Who’s a Yahoo?
Abby: Yahoo is the website.
LH Michael: Bo knows diddley.
LH Michelle: Bo Diddley, Bo Diddley, have you heard?
Thunderbirds: BEEE-OHHH!
Mike: B.O.? Pugh! Take a shower!
Thunderbirds: Take it easy, Thunderbirds.
You know you’re clean.
Stay
cool.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum
is
coming
on!
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
MICROSOFT MIKE, DON’T YOU EVER MAKE RUDE JOKES ABOUT MY PERSONAL HYGIENE
YOU BLOCKHEAD BLOCKHEAD BLOCKHEAD BLOCKHEAD BLOCKHEAD BLOCKHEAD BLOCKHEAD BLOCKHEAD!!
*BOOM!*
(Barg's)
Mike: Barg's.
Mary: Barg's.
Anna: They bring good things to life.
Thunderbirds: What next? Westinghouse?
(Westinghouse)
Announcer: You can be sure… if it’s Westinghouse.
Thunderbirds: (angrily) NOW CUT THAT OUT!!
(Be Prepared to Stop!)
Scotty: Be prepared!
Jimmy: The creed of the boy scouts.
Hank: To stop.
Guy: To stop or not to stop.
Sidney: That is the question.
(Nissan)
Beulah: Nissan?
Abby: Well shucks, (aka sucks) it’s a real Nissan car!
Mr. MGM (On intercom): How are things going, Thunderbirds?
Thunderbirds: It’s a blunderful world of bloopers out there, Mr. MGM.
Mr. MGM (On intercom): That’s very amusing. Have you heard anything on how Sam is doing?
Anna: He’s still undergoing psychiatric care and he’s very slow in responding to treatment.
Thunderbirds: The doctors may be considering a lobotomy for him, but he still thinks he should run the show here.
Mr. MGM (On intercom): You mean his control-freak tendencies may be incurable?
Thunderbirds: Only if he continues to indulge in such delusions.
Mr. MGM (On intercom): Take it easy, Mr. MGM.
You know you miss Sam as much as anyone.
Remain
calm.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum
is
coming
on.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
IF THEY CAN’T CURE MICROSOFT SAM OF HIS CONTROL-FREAK TENDENCIES, TELL HIM HE’S FIRED
THAT ASSWIPE ASSWIPE ASSWIPE ASSWIPE ASSWIPE ASSWIPE ASSWIPE ASSWIPE!
*BOOM!*
Mike: Holy Schneikees!
Mary: Are you all right, Mr. MGM?
Mr. MGM (On intercom): Sorry about that tantrum, but I don’t like having control freaks around here.
(Toledo Zoo)
LH Michael: Toledo Zoo.
LH Michelle: “The Harvest of the Dead.”
Sam: So we’re into zombie pictures now?
Thunderbirds: Microsoft Sam! You came back!
Anna: Are you feeling any better?
Sam: Never felt better in my life.
Scotty: We were worried sick about you.
Sidney: We thought your condition was incurable.
Sam: The doctor says control-freak tendencies are only a state of mind.
Thunderbirds: Just remember: I’m the producer and you’re the director, capeesh?
Sam: Got it, Thunderbirds. Nothing can bother me now.
(She-Devil)
*ViD Theme*
Sam: Uh-oh! It’s that She-Devil back again!
She-Devil: Who did you expect? Lady Gaga?
Sam: Don’t mention that harlot to me again! You hear me?
She-Devil: Watch it, Sam! I know her phone number.
Thunderbirds: How come you came here alone? Why is the Devil not with you?
She-Devil: He had an emergency to take care of.
Mike: Is it about the Supreme Court legalizing same-sex marriages?
She-Devil: That’s none of your business, you asswipe!
Mike: (angrily) DON’T CALL ME AN ASSWIPE, YOU SUCCUBUS!
Sam: And what brings you here?
She-Devil: I've come for Thunderbirds101.
Abby: You can’t have him! He’s mine!
She-Devil: (holding Abby) And who saw him first? Get away from me!
(She-Devil release her eye laser to Abby)
*BOOM!*
(Abby lying hurt)
Beulah: You monster! You knocked Abby out again!
She-Devil: What’s it to you?
Thunderbirds: You go back where you came from this minute, you hear me?
She-Devil: (Holding Dave) Hold it right there, Thunderbirds101! You and I have some unfinished business to take care of.
God: Hands off of Thunderbirds101, you infernal imp!
She-Devil: (Climbing in front of Thunderbirds) Don’t come any closer or I’ll shit all over Thunderbirds and his friends!
God: Don’t you dare do that or you’ll feel My Wrath!
She-Devil: (ready to shit on them) Enough! Now they’re really gonna get it! Bombs away!
(CENSORED)
*PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP*
Sam: Gugh! Not again! Eeeewww! Eeeeewwwww!
*Sam barfing*
Mike: I told you I’m not a commode! Eeeewww! Eeeeewwwww!
*Mike Barfing*
Sidney: Don’t use us for toilets! Eeeewww! Eeeeewwwww!
*Sidney Barfing*
Thunderbirds: 86 your Number 2! Eeeewww! Eeeeewwwww!
*Thunderbirds barfing*
God: How dare you relieve yourself in My Presence! Take that!
(God releasing his power to She-Devil)
*GIGANTIC EXPLOSION!*
(She-Devil falling back)
*CRASH!*
She-Devil: Ouch! What a hard landing! My ribcage! My coccyx! Owww!
Thunderbirds: Serves the She-Devil right for pooping all over us in defiance of the Almighty!
She-Devil: Oh sphincter!
Robosoft 3 Reading: Later, after God cleaned up Sam, Mike, Sidney and Thunderbirds…
(MGM/UA Home Video lion logo goes to the upper-left)
Sam: Uh, Scotty?
Scotty: Yeah, Sam?
Sam: Why didn’t the logo stop?
Scotty: I don’t know, Sam.
Sam: Don’t be stupid.
(MGM/UA Home Video lion logo goes to the upper-right)
Jimmy: Look out! Runaway lion!
Hank: Tales of the Runaway Lion Redux.
(MGM/UA Home Video lion logo goes to the lower-left) 
Guy: Watch where that lion lands!
Sidney: If I catch it, do I win a prize?
Sam: SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Scotty: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!
Sam: Mock me once more and you’re fired!
Scotty: And if you fire me, I’ll kill myself and you’ll be held responsible!
Sam: I will deny all responsibility if you do that!
Mr. MGM (On intercom): And Sam will be in jail for perjury.
Sam: Oh noes! Not that! No no no no no no no no no no no nooooooooooooooo!
Mr. MGM (On intercom): Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes! Do I make myself clear, Sam?
Sam: Yessir.
------Asswipe!
Mr. MGM (On intercom): (angrily) ONE MORE INSUBORDINATE CRACK LIKE THAT AND I'LL NAIL YOU TO THE LION AGAIN!! 
(MGM/UA Home Video lion logo goes to the lower-right)
*LOUD CRASH!*
Scotty: Eee-yowowowowowowowowowowowowow!
Sidney: What happened, Scotty?
Scotty: That goddamned MGM/UA Home Video logo landed on my foot again! Eee-yowowowowowowowowowowowowow!
Beulah: Cheer up, Scotty. It could be worse.
Abby: That shield could have run you down like a steamroller.
Sam: DON'T SAY THAT!!
(The MGM/UA Home Video lion logo stopped)
(Home Video drop) 
(MGM/UA drop) 
(Lion drop) 
(Set drop) 
Mike: Holy Schneikees!
Mary: The whole set’s falling apart!
Anna: I guess it’s one of those days.
Thunderbirds: Yeah. Let’s take time off while they repair the damage.
Sam: I agree, Thunderbirds. And Scotty will pay the bill.
Scotty: Oh coccyx! 
Places everyone! People everyone! Things everyone! Very funny, Sidney and Thunderbirds! Sorry, Sam. Just a joke, Sam. Albeit a lame one. I'll allow it. Roll camera! Cue the logo! [CRASH!] Holy Schneikees! Did you see what I saw? The captions flew right off the logo. Are you all right, Sam? Radar Overseer Scotty, come here. Microsoft Sam! What the hell happened to you? Get these *** captions off of me, you ***! The captions knocked Sam down? What's that logo made of, anyway? Must be a Teflon logo. Teflon logo my ***! Keep cool, Sam. We'll get the captions off of you in a jiffy. Flying captions? I'd call it air mail! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thanks, Thunderbirds. My pleasure, Sam. And as for you, Scotty, you know what this means? No raise this year? YOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIRED!! Fired? FIRED!? Here we go again. [Sam] That's right, fired! And this time, it's gonna be permanent! [Scotty] Put me down! You heard him, Sam! Put him down! I'll put Scotty down, all right! [Sam] Out you go! [CRASH!] [Beulah] Microsoft Sam, you bring Scotty back here right now! Never! And that's final! And if I see you near him again, I'll kill the both of you! Understand! You can't do that, Sam! That's ***! Not if I invoke the Castle Doctrine first! There'll be no evidence of self-defense, Sam, so don't even think about trying it, capeesh? Sheesh! Shush the sheesh! Verizon? Is that what a technology plays with when he's trying to think of a phone? I just got off the phone with ROFL City Hospital. What did they say, Thunderbirds? Scotty's recovering from the injuries he sustained when Sam threw him out. When will he be out? He'll need another two or three days because of an eBay. An eBay? I have a cousin who suffers from a weak back. Oh really? When did he get it? About a week back. When Scotty recovers, I can't wait for ESPN bells to ring for us. Forget it, Beulah. That'll never happen as long as I'm in charge of the studio. Oh yes it will, Sam! I'M in charge here, capeesh? Sheesh! And shush the sheesh! Take it easy, Sam. Remain calm. Uh-oh! Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP! THUNDERBIRDS101, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU SAYING "SHUSH THE SHEESH" EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAYS "SHEESH!" i'M HAVING THE SHUSH THE SHEESH FOUNDATION SHUT DOWN AND YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL FOR IT, YOU HEAR ME? YOU'LL BE A JAILBIRD JAILBIRD JAILBIRD JAILBIRD JAILBIRD JAILBIRD JAILBIRD JAILBIRD!! [BOOM!!] It's great to be back from the hospital. Scotty! Back so soon? Yeah, Beulah. My back is better, thanks to acupuncture. RADAR OVERSEER SCOTTY!! WHAT PART OF "YOU'RE FIRED" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS! Pipe down, Sam. I told Mr. MGM about what you did, and he had me re-hire Scotty. [Mr. MGM] That's right. And if you refused Scotty re-entry, I'd have personally nailed you to the MGM/UA Home Video logo lion. A fate worse than death, Mr. MGM. But the Shush the Sheesh Foundation is still shutting down for violation of free speech! And if that happens, I'm shutting down the Sheesh Alliance on the same premise! [Mr. MGM] Correct, Thunderbirds. If free speech permits one the right to say "Sheesh," then one should also have the right to say "Shush the sheesh" if he or she feels annoyed. This is an outrage! I oughta send the Devil and She-Devil after you! Just try it! [ViD Theme] Oh noes! Not the Devil and She-Devil again! Save us, Jesus! [Devil] Don't say that name in front of us! [She-Devil] You know it makes our tails grow limp! Well, well, well! The Devil and She-Devil invade my video just to stir up trouble again. Flattery, flattery, flattery. It always makes me fonder of you every day, Thunderbirds. Welly, welly, welly! Microsoft Sam sends Mr. and Mrs. Mephistopheles after me just because I threatened to shut down the Sheesh Alliance if he shuts down the Shush the Sheesh Foundation. With good reason. You can't have an organization that violates the right to free speech. [Mr. MGM] Just as you can't have an organization that prevents people from telling you to shut up when you annoy them. Wellity, wellity, wellity--- Shut up, Thunderbirds! You tell him, Microsoft Sam! You can't have the right to say "Sheesh" and not let others have the right to say "Shush the sheesh" if they're annoyed! That's hypocrisy! One of our greatest talents: spreading hypocrisy. I've got a good mind to tell God and the Angel on you! [She-Devil] Hold it right there, Thunderbirds101! I have some unfinished business to take care of with you. What's going on here? Are these infernal imps bothering you again? Don't you interfere with us again! Ever! [She-Devil] Make another move and we *** all over Thunderbirds101 and his friends! Do that in My Presence and you'll feel My Wrath! [Devil] Scandalous! Shall we let them have it? [She-Devil] Let's do it! Bombs away! [PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP PLOP] Gugh! Not again! Eeeewww! Eeeeeeeewwww! [Barfing] Dump your waste elsewhere! Eeeewww! Eeeeeeeewwww! [Barfing] You're the sickest of all! Eeeewww! Eeeeeeeewwww! [Barfing] How dare you! Eeeewww! Eeeeewww! [Barfing] Somebody get a pooper-scooper! Eeeewww! Eeeeeeeewww! [Barfing] That sickening display is disgusting and repulsive! How dare you relieve yourselves in My Presence! Take that! [LOUD CRASH!!] [Devil] Curses! Foiled again! Why can't we win just once? [She-Devil] If only I can have Thunderbirds101 for myself, and for real. Oh, my aching sphincter! Owww! You're all cleaned up now and you may resume your video. Thank God! You're welcome. [Devil] Oh sphincter! Kit Kat? Just like the Devil and She-Devil after God dispatched them from here. Uh-oh! Methinks I goofed again. Youthinks right, Scotty. I guess we should try again. You took the words right out of my mouth, Hank. At least we've gotten the logo right every time. With an MGM as in Wisenheimer and a UA as in Blockhead, right? Right! "Wisenheimer Blockhead Home Video?" Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl! ASSWIIIIIIIIIIIIPES!! [Mr. MGM] Don't give them any ideas, Sam, or I'll nail you to the MGM/UA Home Video logo again! [BOOM!!] SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!! [Mr. MGM] Microsoft Sam! Report to my office RIGHT NOW!! Sheesh! My mother told me there'd be days like this. There, there, Sam. We'll get you down from the logo soon. I promise not to harass Scotty again. And as soon as we get Sam down, let's all go out to dinner. Where are we eating, Thunderbirds? Where else? [Scotty] Oh cancer! 
Sam: Places everyone!
Thunderbirds: We're all present and/or accounted for, Sam.
Sam: Let's get this show on the road! Roll camera! Cue the lion!
(Ariana Grande)
Sam: Uh, Scotty?
Scotty: You want me, Sam?
Sam: Not really, Scotty.
Scotty: In that case, I'd better go.
Sam: You're not going anywhere... yet.
Scotty: So what's on your mind, Generalissimo Microsoft Sam?
Sidney: "Generalissimo Microsoft Sam?" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sam: Shut up, Sidney!
Sidney: My lips are sealed, Sam.
Sam: What's Ariana Grande doing here?
Jimmy: They're the ones who loves their music.
Sam: Music?
Hank: Every time we see Ariana Grande, we love to sing "One Last Time."
Guy: That's why we gave them mention.
Sam: That's nice, but this is supposed to be MGM/UA Home Video, not a music artist.
Scotty: Nobody appreciates recognition anymore.
(Kelly Clarkson)
Mike: Kelly Clarkson?
Mary: Gesundheit!
Anna: Kelly Clarkson has songs like "Catch My Breath" and "Since U Been Gone."
Thunderbirds: But not this studio!
(Nicki Minaj)
Beulah: Nicki Minaj? Is that a pop artist?
Abby: Nicki Minaj. One of their pop artists best known for songs such as "Starships" and "Super Bass."
Thunderbirds: Nicki Minaj? Hahahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Sam: You stole my laugh line, you asswipe!
Thunderbirds: Take it easy, Thunderbirds.
Sam doesn't appreciate much.
Stay
cool.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum
is
coming
on!
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
MICROSOFT SAM, STOP BEING SO POSSESSED OF THAT LAUGH LINE
YOU CONTROL FREAK CONTROL FREAK CONTROL FREAK CONTROL FREAK CONTROL FREAK CONTROL FREAK CONTROL FREAK CONTROL FREAK!!
*BOOM!!*
Sam: Sorry for being so possessive, Thunderbirds, but that's just the way I am.
Thunderbirds: Just remember that you're not a control freak, Sam.
(Rihanna)
LH Michael: Rihanna.
LH Michelle: And every which way! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sam: Scotty, do I have to tell you not to put those music artists in an ident?
Scotty: How on earth do we expect to pay for all this?
Sam: This is MGM/UA Home Video, Scotty. Not Ariana Grande, not Kelly Clarkson, not Nicki Minaj, not Rihanna... MGM/UA Home Video!
Scotty: To make a tired point: in the words of Steve Martin, well excuuuuuuuuuuuuse meee!
(Demi Lovato)
Mike: Demi Lovato?
Mary: Who is Demi Lovato?
Anna: I don't know who Demi Lovato is, but it is a pop artist! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sam: SCOTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Scotty: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!
Sam: Come here, Scotty!
Scotty: Not another lecture, Sam!
Sam: Yes, another lecture.
Scotty: Sam, every time you lecture me, you make me feel like a second-grade kid in school!
Sam: The only logo that belongs here is this logo, you understand?
Scotty: Sam, I'm sick and tired of this! You make me feel like a second-grade kid in school one more time and I'm telling Mr. MGM on you!
Sam: Just try, Scotty, but Mr. MGM isn't here right now.
Thunderbirds: He's probably in conference.
(Katy Perry)
Beulah: Katy Perry.
Abby: You're making us music.
Jimmy: The songs that I love by Katy Perry are "Firework."
Hank: Or "Dark Horse."
Guy: Or "Roar."
Sidney: I sure miss seeing "Hot 'n Cold" by Katy Perry.
Sam: Radar Overseer Scotty!!
Scotty: No, Sam! Please don't fire me! I got nowhere else to go!
Thunderbirds: You heard him, Sam! Leave him alone!
Sam: Stay out of this, Thunderbirds! Radar Overseer Scotty, yoooooooooooou're fired!!
Scotty: Fired? FIRED!?
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
MICROSOFT SAM, YOU JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE!
NOW I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO KILL MYSELF AND IF YOU DENY RESPONSIBILITY YOU'LL BE GUILTY OF PERJURY, YOU HEAR ME?
GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!
*BOOM!!*
Thunderbirds: Microsoft Sam!
Sam: Sorry, Thunderbirds, but I had to do it.
Thunderbirds: I'm rescinding Scotty's firing because of his threat of suicide, and if you raise even one objection, I'm telling Mr. MGM on you!
Sam: It won't do you any good, Thunderbirds. Mr. MGM's not here.
Thunderbirds: I forgot he's in conference.
LH Michael: Mr. MGM is not in conference.
Thunderbirds: What makes you so sure?
LH Michelle: He's being held on suspicion of defaming Christianity.
Sam: Does that have anything to do with his nailing me to the MGM/UA Home Video logo twice?
Anna: Yes. They say he mocked the Crucifixion and he's in real danger of losing his freedom.
Scotty: That's funny. I always thought he was an atheist.
Sam: Get out of here, Scotty!
Thunderbirds: Belay that order! Scotty, you're re-hired.
Scotty: Thanks, Thunderbirds. You saved my life.
Sam: Oh gluteus maximus!
(Ke$ha)
Mike: Ke$ha.
Mary: The best pop artist ever.
Sam: Take it easy, Sam.
Remain
calm.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!
THUNDERBIRDS WON'T LET ME FIRE SCOTTY AND NO ONE KNOWS I NEED SOME AUTHORITY AROUND HERE!
WELL, I'VE HAD IT, YOU HEAR ME?
I'VE HAD IT HAD IT HAD IT HAD IT HAD IT HAD IT HAD IT HAD IT!!
*BOOM!!*
Anna: Keep still, Sam. It's nothing to throw tantrums over.
Sam: You're right, Anna. But I've still had it with these bloopers and without Mr. MGM, there's no reason for me to continue. I quit.
Thunderbirds: Sam, you can't quit!
Sam: Too late, Thunderbirds. I've made up my mind. I'm leaving.
(Rankin-Bass)
Scotty: Rankin-Bass?
Jimmy: Must be a stinking fish.
Hank: Something's fishy here.
Guy: I agree.
Sidney: Rankin-Bass! Stinking fish! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(MGM/CBS Home Video)
Beulah: There's that 1980 MGM/CBS Home Video logo again.
Abby: They couldn't get a concrete one.
Thunderbirds: That joke is so lame, Abby.
Abby: Sorry, Thunderbirds.
Thunderbirds: That's understandable. I couldn't be mean to you even if I tried.
Scotty: How are we doing on this logo, Thunderbirds?
Thunderbirds: You're getting close, Scotty. Now we need the MGM/UA Home Video.
(Waiter/UA Home Video)
LH Michael: Waiter/UA Home Video?
LH Michelle: Oh waiter, this logo is raw! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(Weeder/UA Home Video)
Mike: Weeder/UA Home Video?
Mary: As opposed to the Seeder Sisters?
(Warning/UA Home Video)
Sidney: If Sam were here, he'd probably say: "That's MGM, not Warning."
Sam: Lucky for me he's not here to bawl me out.
Beulah: Don't sweat it, Scotty. At least we've got each other.
(MGM/Brewskis Home Video)
Jimmy: Uh-oh!
Hank: Methinks we goofed again.
Guy: Youthinks right, Hank.
Scotty: I guess we should try again, right?
Thunderbirds: Uh, not right now, Scotty. Let's take the rest of the day off and see if we can find Sam and Mr. MGM.
RoboSoft 3 reading: The gang went to the police station to see Sam and Mr. MGM. After Mr. MGM apologized to Sam, the charges against him were dropped and Sam agreed to return. Stay tuned to this channel for more 1993 MGM/UA Home Video Logo Bloopers!