To My Only Son

Remind me again, why I'm still alive?
I'm your father, yet according to you, all I do is get in the way and make you remind yourself why you never plan to visit me. I did everything for you but you just became more and more distant with every year in your life that passed. My conversations with you were monotonous and short, I could tell you hated them because you groaned with boredom every time I would try to talk to you.
I developed severe hypothermia one winter while I was looking after YOUR kids at a local ski resort and was taken to hospital, but you never came to see me... I tried calling you time and time again but you never answered, you even ignored my voice messages. I was so heartbroken that I tried to unplug my life support numerous times just so I could get some attention.
Your brain plays tricks on you while you're basically trapped in a room with none of your loving family members by your side. I had numerous hallucinations, I heard a plethora of voices and I swore I felt a hand stroke my cheek from time to time. After leaving that god forsaken hell hole, I was a train wreck... Staying in my home like it was an asylum and I was the mentally impaired patient. I just started crying while wiping my eyes clean every minute of every day, to the point where one time, I started bleeding from them.
I didn't tell anyone, because no one cared about me. Turns out, I've just been a waste of time and space for my entire deplorable life. Before I die I just want to hear your soothing voice once again, it doesn't matter what has happened between us, I've always loved you for who you are as a person.
The only thing that will make you happy is for me to be gone from your life. I'll be leaving this note on the desk next to my bed and then I will cut my femoral artery with the steak knife you got me for Christmas ten years ago.
Remember, I am doing this because it will make both of us happy.
Never forget that I love you and I am willing to do anything I can to make you as happy as possible.
Goodbye, my son...
Category:Mental Illness