Scott Pilgrim vs King Henry VIII

Scott Pilgrim, protagonist of the Scott Pilgrim series/comic/graphic novel idfk, goes against ruler of England and Ireland,King Henry VIII, in a battle of, uh, well like, King Henry is pretty much an evil ex with all the shit he did to his wives, Scott fights the evil exes, and you get the deal!
George Watsky as Scott Pilgrim
Jontron as King Henry
Nice Peter and Zach Sherwin as Henry’s calvary (cameo)
Dodger as Ramona Flowers
Anna Akana as Knives Chau (cameo)
Mary Doodles as Kim Pine (cameo) 
Epic Lloyd as Stephen Stills
Wax as Wallace Wells (Italics and parentheses is whispering)
Beat: http://www.allroundabeats.com/beat-the-block/
Intro: (0:11)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY 
KING HENRY VIII 
VS 
SCOTT PILGRIM 
BEGIN! 
King Henry: (0:21)
Ha! Beating this hipster freak won’t be a challenge, feel free to leave guards
I doubt one who doesn’t drink would know a thing or two about good bars!
We’re in a battle of wits, so you’re pretty unmatched, no use for petty violence!
A martial artist Justin Bieber can’t hold a candle to the King of Ireland
I’m out of your League, why should a moppy rock star with a fetish for teens
frighten me?  Step to me, this Superbad wannabee will end up worse than one of my queens!
The Thanks you’ll be Givin’ for me endin’ you Precious Little Existence
will give you the Power of Infinite Sadness! -2 Flow, -2 Resistance!
To my sick British raps, slicing you in two like that bitch Gideon
King Henry against a Pilgrim? Ha! I’d rather face an Indian!
So come on, Scottie boy, show us your true power
Though I highly doubt this will be your Finest Hour!
Scott Pilgrim: (0:54)
This WILL be my Finest Hour, for against you, I will prevail!
For all the crappy things you did, you should be put in…(jail) jail!
I will blow you up like a Sex Bob-Omb because you’re wrong!
I don’t have a fetish for teens, I’m 24, that would be just plain wrong!
Scott, you don’t rhyme a word with the same word, can you even rap?
Quiet, Wallace, this is harder than it looks...uh...chap?
Yep, you’re done for, there’s no way you’re winning this fight
STEPHEN STILLS IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO HELP GO...CHANGE A LIGHT!
I beat the World! No you didn’t, that was just like, a metaphor or something
Wallace, oh my god, whose side are you on? I was just bluffing!
It’s Christmas time, and you’re going to help me deck the halls! (what)
If your raps had a face, Henry, then I’d kick them in the balls!
……..what?
...nevermind.
King Henry: (1:27)
What the Puck was that, Man? I expected a real fight, not that toddler trash
I would have been entertained longer even if it was the Boys and Crash!
But then again, I was up against a fool dating an anime Taylor Swift
So enough with your pointless babble, guards, execute this prick!
The guards impale Scott on a spear
Scott Pilgrim goes down!
He’s reaching for the ro-wait wrong battle
In Scott’s Subconcious (1:38)
Scott, wake up.  Ramona, is that you? What are you doing here?
I’m here to help you, for if I don’t, failure soon looms near.
Oh come on, we even have to rhyme here?  Yes, but look.
SCOTT EARNED THE POWER OF DISSING (and a history book)!
Use these to defeat him, I know you can, now go get ‘em tiger!
Gosh dangit Ramona, what the heck rhymes with tiger?
Scott is revived
Scott Pilgrim: (2:11) 
I’m back from the dead, but this time, I’ve seen a Tudor
And now I’ll rap ruder against this lonely, fat brooder
Who got bored of his wives, so he ended their lives
Their demise was his prize, but he hid them up with lies
But he still tries, to their lord, the ladies must abide
Yet his victory was cut short, like most of his kid’s lives
So I’m through with you, but your death won’t be a mystery, poser
Scott pulls a Scorpion, and throws his mic into Henry’s skull
With a worse death than Gideon, you will pay for your crimes against History, Game Over!
=Outro (2:32)=
WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE! 
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY, EH!