(Not So) Illuminati: The Salt Awakens

==Prologue: L O R E ?==
A long time ago, on a Minecraft server far, far away...(Not So) IlluminatiThe Salt AwakensIt was a time of memes on Memeworld. What did you expect?Sportaflop? Wait, where was I going with this? Oh right.All is not well on Memeworld, however, as the threat of theCringe Side of the Memes has returned. Risen from the ashesof the Shopper Administration and legacy of Dorth Hullo, the Nice Orderhas emerged with a former ally among them. And before you ask aboutDorth Hullo and the Shopper Administration, well, we might make prequels. I dunno.Depends on how this one turns out. By the way, did you ever hear the tragedy ofDarth Plagueis the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you.It's a Sith legend. Actually, I think I'm getting off track here. Enjoy the story and enjoy the memes.
Late at night, a small shuttle lands in the Cactus Empire.
CIA: Shade, I'm CIA.
Shade: Sup, thanks for the money :D
CIA: This is the map to EDFan12345. Kylo Pen really wants this so if he finds you, you're probably screwed to be honest.
Shade: Wau
CIA: The reason I'm giving this to you is that Kylo Pen knows I have it, so I'm going to file a flight plan with the agency. Uh, you should get out of here too.
Shade: Who is Kylo Pen anyway tbh
CIA: Nobody knows, unfortunately it's a mystery and not completely obvious.
Shade: ...rly
Shade stares at CIA while he's busy looking kind of dumb with his finger and his thumb in the shape of a hook in his belt loops.
Shade: Well, uh, I'm gonna go, cya
Shade gets in his shuttle and leaves. Kylo Pen's shuttle lands and crushes a few cacti because it's so big and square. Salttroopers get out and start shooting at Fieris and Kylo Pen walks up to CIA.
CIA: If I pull that off will you die?
Kylo Pen: THE MAP. WHERE IS IT.
CIA: What map?
Kylo Pen: THE MAP TO RASP YOU ING ID- ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAA BLEEPIO
CIA: Mark it, R2.
R2 marks something on a bingo card and flies away.
Kylo Pen: STOP IGNORING ME
CIA: Oh, I gave it to some guy.
Kylo Pen: ...Some guy... SOME GUY????
Kylo Pen whips out his Saltsaber and slashes CIA in half.
CIA: No! This can't be happening! I'm in charge here!
SALT-9217: Shouldn't you have tried to ask who he gave it to before you-
Kylo Pen: SHUT UP!
Kylo Pen chops the Salttrooper in half.
Kylo Pen: Search the entire map and interrogate everyone! We'll find that map or my name isn't Kylo Pen!
SALT-2190: Well, uh, technically sir, that's not your REAL name...
Kylo Pen: SHUT UP!
Kylo Pen cuts the Salttrooper in half and I'm starting to run out of ways to describe Kylo Pen making an extra person out of someone over here. Thankfully that's not a problem for now because Kylo Pen and the surviving Salttroopers board the shuttle and fly away.
==Chapter 1: i'll make a name later==
The next day, Shade lands his shuttle in Billville and heads for the McChill's. Duke and Chill are there watching the TV.
General Brant: Never forget! We are the nicest order in the world! We are nice to you even when we are angry as heck! All hail the glorious Nice Order!
Chill: These Nice Order commercials get even more stupid every time tbh
Duke: They act like they own the whole world even though they only have some scrubby places on the map smh
Shade: Hai fam
Chill: Sup
Duke: You missed another scrubby Nice Order commercial.
Shade: No I didn't, I've seen it like 20 times today already smh
Category:Stories
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