Doodle's Super Smash Bros./Wario's Group Chat

In Doodle's Super Smash Bros., Wario's Group Chats replace the previously included Snake's Codec Calls and Palutena's Guidance easter eggs, acting as a way to get quick and witty information on the fighter you're facing. You have to be playing as Wario on any stage and can activate the easter egg by press down on the Switch's direction buttons multiple times, triggering a fighter-specific set of dialogue. The dialogue is always banter between Wario, his employees, and even other characters from all across Super Smash Bros.
Special thanks to for creating the Shulk chat as a tribute.
	
	Now look at this chump! So "glad" to see him again...NOT!
	Hey! You leave Mario alone! At least he has a real legacy and isn't just a no-good thief!
	Yeah! Mario's a really good guy! Are you just mad because he keeps beating you in Sma-
	N-NO! Mario is way less interesting than me, but somehow he's more popular! He's a spotlight hog, t-that's what he is!
	Why wouldn't he be? Mario's a really balanced character and represents his games perfectly! The cape, F.L.U.D.D., Cappy...he's a love letter to all things Mario!
	Well...yeah...b-but he still stinks! I don't see why I, the great WARIO, don't get the same love!
	Maybe because everyone knows that you suck at Sma-
	I do NOT! I beat one million Bayonetta's and Cloud's in a single match, you buffoon!!
	Spitz: I spy a liah...
	
	Ooh! Ooh! I used to play as Luigi all the time with 9-Volt!
	Forever stuck as player 2, eh? Makes sense to me! Wahaha!
	W-What's so wrong with being player 2, Mr. Wario?
	There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, 18-Volt! Luigi plays differently from his older brother and uses a strange set of moves to duke it out.
	Yeah! And besides, a Mario needs his Luigi to be truly super, right?
	You're right, Mrs. 5-Volt! Luigi's a bit silly, but I like playing as silly characters.
	Bah!...At least you aren't playing as that purple loon I know...not as if you can, anyway!
	...Who are you talking about?
	Nothing! No one at all! Just keep bein' player two, kid!...(that's gonna throw' em for sure.)
	
	Princess Peach! Gosh, she's such a fashion icon...she really rocks the different shades of pink!
	Bah! Shokora's better than Peach, and that's the...tea? Is that how you teens say it?
	No way! Peach has a lot more spunk and flair than whoever you're talking about! She even uses Perry in some of her moves now!
	What does the "princess" do again? Get kidnapped! What did Shokora do? She was a helping hand on one of MY many adventures!
	You're not even acknowledging how she fights! Peach doesn't just use Perry; she can float, pluck turnips out of the ground, and even get help from a Toad! She's crafty!
	DAISY'S BETTER!!
	PEACH!!
	The next one who complains about which princess is "better" is getting turned into a training dummy. Does that answer your feud?
	...Let's agree to disagree.
	...Your arguments are moot, anyways. Pauline's queen.
	
	Don't say anything, let me go first...*ahem*...HEY, CHUMP!! Wanna work with me to defeat Mario? The friend of the enemy of the..whatever, you get the point!
	Dribble: Ah don't think he can hear ya, Wario...
	Oh, okay. Lemme speak up then...HEY, YA BIG LUG!! I'm givin' you a chance to work with Mario's greatest foe, and you better-
	M-Mr. Wario, that's not just a Koopa! That's their king, Bowser! He's a really dangerous foe and uses his unique set of tools to deal out damage for over 30 years!
	Yeah, yeah, I know who it is! And what "unique set of tools"? Do you mean his fire breath? Kid, I can catch on fire and LIVE! That ain't enough to stop me!
	Well, there's that...but his shell is also a versatile tool! He uses it to crush opponents, spin them around...and that's not even mentioning Giga Bowser!
	Ah, Giga Bowser, Shmiga Bowser! I give this loser a chance to work with me and he doesn't take it, that's his proble-...hold on, there's a knock at my door. *sounds of screaming and glass shattering*
	Mr. Wario?...Hello?
	Dribble: Heh, guess Bowsa DID hear him afta all! Hahaha!
	
	WART'S BACK! He hasn't shown his scaly face for over 20 years until now! Isn't that neat?
	Ana: Y-Yeah...gosh, he looks mean,
	Don't feel scared, kid! Wart is Bowser's Echo Fighter, and Bowser is a real pushover! Take it from someone who beat him recently!
	9-Volt and Kat:...but you lost, didn't you?
	Lalalalalalalalala, I can't heeeaaaaaaar yooooooou!
	Wario's right; Wart is Bowser's Echo Fighter, but instead of fire, he spews out bubbles and has a different up special like King Dedede's! Interestingly, attacks like Peach's turnips do a bit more damage against him.
	Both:...So food does more damage against him?
	Uh...sure!
	Kat: That gives us a good strategy for taking him down! C'mon, Ana! Let's raid the fridge!
	Hah! They're more likely to heal him than do any actual damage!
	Seems you could've used some when Bowser pummeled y-
	What's that? *mouth noises* Oops, bad reception! Buh-bye!
	
	Wow, Mario! TWO roster spots? You can't just have one spot on the roster, huh? I would never do such a thing!
	Last I checked, you had another version of yourself put on the roster...by ME...by YOUR request.
	What? I-I would NEVER ask of such a thing from a talented soul like you!
	Dr. Mario and I go back years and years ago! We both knew a man named Scienstein right before the good doctor joined the fray in 2001. Seems he's picked up plenty of new tricks since then!
	Oh yeah? Like what? I thought he was just "Heavy Mario"!
	Actually, the good doctor has a unique mechanic of flipping the pills he fires! When horizontal, they're slower but do more damage, while when vertical, they travel faster with less damage! Just like his virus-busting days!
	Didn't the alternate version of you on the roster meet Dr. Mario before? You did, too, but looking at it now...the clone makes a bit more sense.
	My, were you think that Dr. Mario was lonely without a foe to face?
	N-No! I didn't even get a clone of me made! Kid's delusional, doc!
	Uh huh. Suuuuuuure.
	
	Everyone is here! Including two Mario's, two Luigi's, two Wario's, and eight Marth's!
	I see you finally admitted to having the clone in the roster, Mr. Wario!
	Uhhhh...that was a typo! A typo from my mouth! Yeah, that's it!
	Dr. Luigi plays just like his older brother, utilizing the same pill mechanic that Dr. Mario uses! He's an Echo of a former clone! Crazy how that works out, huh?
	That's it, huh? He might as well be a palette swap if you ask me! Wahahaha!
	Excuse the interruption, but I couldn't help but overhear this felon's absurd claim about the Fire Emblem representatives and how they fight.
	Oh, buzz off, kid! They all play the same and you know it!
	Marth's sword has more power at the tip, Lucina's in the blade, Roy attacks backhandly and has many different properties, Chrom has Ike's up special...the other four are all unique! Have you even met these characters?
	I have! You know what I noticed? They all play the same! Same weapon, same attacks! Simple as that!
	Both:*squabbling and arguing*
	Aw man...Luigi gets overshadowed no matter the occasion...
	I'm just glad someone's defending my inclusion.
	
	This gal looks out of this world! I like her fightin' style; almost looks like dancing!
	Eh, she's alright!...still not as good as Daisy.
	Would you PLEASE let it go already?!
	Dancin' with a partner is always fresh in my book! The synergy between the Luma and her is off the charts!
	That, and she's a fashion ICON! Just look at that silver and blue combo! Her and Peach are still my biggest inspirations on that front.
	Is fashion all your like her for?
	Not just that; she get things done! Not just on the battlefield; Rosalina is the mother to all of Lumakind, protector of the cosmos, and pilot of the Comet Observatory! She's a hard-working mother figure!
	Where do you think I got my skills from?
	Both of you have made fair points in the end and I get your point of view. With that said...Daisy's still better.
	Wario, how long have you held onto this argument?
	Eh...give or take a month or two.
	
	Aw, C'MON! I don't wanna do babysittin'! Bowser already got his reveng-I MEAN, Bowser already drives me nuts! Now I gotta watch his kids?!
	These aren't ordinary kids, Wario! These are the Kooaplings and their leader, Bowser Jr.! I don't think they like being under authority unless it's Bowser himself...they're rather unruly.
	They look like wimps! Their old man puts up a good fight with brute strength and grit, I'll give him that! These little menaces are stuck in a machine! They can't do anything by themselves!
	That is not what I would say! Mini-Bowser decided to mess around with me and tinker with the Oinker! Now I cannot seem to get the graffiti off!
	The Clown Car they use stores many powerful tools! Toy hammers, forks, boxing gloves, tongues...those machines have caused more damage than you think.
	Hey 5V, how do you know so much about these tykes?
	I may have accidentally agreed to babysitting them myself. The house took days to fully repair...Jr. even took 9-Volt's Super Pyoro unit with him.
	Don't remind me...
	Well, it seems we ALL got scores to settle with these brats. What do you say we bring the pain right to their smug faces, eh?
	9-Volt and I can help with that! I will use my Oinker to trap them in my tractor beam while 9-Volt can-
	I'm not going to allow my child to act as the bully in this situation, Wario.
	
	Hey! It's that one princess Wario doesn't shut up about!
	You bet your bucks it is! She's probably the best out of the "princess trio" I know...outside of Shokora, but I'm pretty sure she isn't here.
	Be honest; why DO you like her so much?
	She has spunk! Personality! Gusto! She isn't just some dainty snob or some boring space lady; she's a go-getter and has the peppy attitude to back it up!
	...Did you just imply that Peach is anything close to a snob?
	Daisy has some new moves in her kit! She isn't an Echo Fighter anymore; she uses things from her home kingdom and some of the know-how she has on sports to fight instead of mirroring Peach!
	Wahaha, PERFECT! This means I can finally main her without having to use Peach's bogus moveset!
	You leave Peach alone! She has a lot of combo potential and variety in her moveset...and this is removing my bias as a Peach main.
	C'mon, kid! You wanna settle this little dispute of ours on Final Destination?
	Right away! Just gonna need your friend code and a good internet connection...
	Its bold of you to assume Wario wants any friends
	
	...They're really letting ANYBODY into Smash now? WAHAHAHAHA!
	Don't diss the plant, man! Piranha Plant was so funny and unexpected when Ultimate was coming out!
	But of all the fighters they could've chosen, they put in...a PLANT?! He's no all-star.
	Tibby. O'Chunks. Corrin. Pichu. Wryn. Vampire Wario. I can name more characters that aren't "all-stars" but are still in Smash off the top of my head.
	...Alright, fine. You win.
	Anyway, Piranha Plant is surprisingly mobile for being a potted plant and the like. As someone who grew a plant similar to it, trust me when I saw it's bite and it's bark are equal.
	I really like how he spits out the spiked ball! Or how he launches his head out of the pot! Ooh, or how he gets Petey Piranha to help in his Final Smash! He's just so cool!
	I still can't get over how dumb of a choice he really was! Who's next, Chain Chomp?!
	Both:.................
	...Oh no.
	
	Now, if ANYONE here sings you-know-what, you're fired. Got it?
	All: Yeah, yeah.
	Alright! Now then, can anyone tell me anything insightful about Mr. Kong?
	Ana: Well...Mr. Donkey Kong is really strong! I've seen him drop the moon down the sky before! Trust me!
	Ana's right! Donkey Kong is quite the powerful foe. His arms and head are all weapons to him, so many of his attacks are based around those!
	Ah! He ain't the smartest, right?
	Quite so! He's a heavy target as well, so landing even one counterattack on him shouldn't be an issue in the slightest.
	See? We can hold a conversation about DK over here without mentioning that song-
	He's the leader of the bunch! You know him well! He's finally back...to kick some tail!
	GAH! Forget it!
	
	I always love a good underdog story!
	What's so "underdog" about this guy? He seems to be lookin' just fine to me!
	When Donkey Kong was kidnapped by Kaptain K.Rool, it was up to Diddy and Dixie to save him! Then, Diddy save an entire island from the evil Wizpig! He isn't just a sidekick!
	...That doesn't sound very "underdog" to me. Look at Luigi for that quality! Wahaha!
	Don't you get it? Without his sidekick's help, Donkey Kong would still be captured and Wizpig would have won! Sidekicks are usually in their teacher's shadow, so it's important to get out from under it!
	Exactly! Diddy's acrobatic abilities and cocky nature make him a danger to any Kremling or other foe he comes across!
	It doesn't matter who you save if you haven't beaten the great WARIO in a brawl! Come at me, chimp chump!
	Oh yeah, and Diddy can latch onto people's faces.
	I don't see how that's a prob- *muffled monkey noises followed by the K.O. noise*
	...Wario? Hello?
	
	Hey, Klaus! Nice to see you again! It's been ages!
	Woah, you know this freak?
	You bet! Me and him both had feuds with Syrup and stole her treasure from time to time. He disappeared off the map after that baseball game, though.
	Seems he's learned new tricks since then! I've never seen him use his chest plate as a shield!
	Yeah! The blunderbuss, crown, helicopter pack, though? That's stuff he used against those apes and Syrup! Good times, I tell ya!
	Wow, Wario, I've never seen you express this much admiration for anyone besides yourself...and maybe Jimmy.
	Right on!
	What can I say? Both of us like makin' trouble and ruinin' people's days! Did you know he was a professional boxer at one point?
	K.Rool seems to the master of many fighting styles. Are you sure you can take him on?
	Am I sure? I'm positive! Let's go, Klaus: friend against friend!
	
	You know, I never really did know who this loser was. Why's he always lugging that big toy sword around? You know swords are supposed to be pointy, right, chump?
	And what's with that outfit? The vest I can understand, but the shorts look so weird... Is he from the tropics? It almost looks like swim trunks!
	You two don't know who Shulk is?
	Who does? He's just some pretty boy who turned up with an even sillier sword than that Corrin guy. Why would I need to know his whole backstory?
	That sword's no mere toy! It's the Monado, a fabled artifact with untold powers! Shulk himself may be just an ordinary engineer, but that sword- it's made by the gods themselves!
	PFFFFFF! Big deal! That Banado thing doesn't even look good enough to spread garlic butter on toast. I ain't buying it for a second.
	The Monado is more than a sword! It gives Shulk the ability to cast incredibly powerful Monado Arts in order to change his fighting stance on the fly, giving him an edge in almost any situation he comes across! Not to mention being able to see into the future...
	What?! He can see the future?! That's so cool!
	Correct. By concentrating on the flow of ether particles in the air, he's able to predict the future and see the outcomes of actions... and through this, change them. Perhaps I could consider asking Master to help me- Wario? Where are you going?
	Hey there, uh... Shrunk! I heard you could see the future! Real neat and all that. Hey, wanna try out the lottery? I promise I'll pay for the tickets...
	And there he goes again...
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Category:Super Smash Bros. (series)