Peril Patch (episode)/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "Peril Patch".
== ==
(Poppy is having all the Trolls in Troll Village standing up straight in a line.)
Poppy: Back straight! Hair stiff! Everybody ready? (The Trolls cheer.) Would you do the honors, Mr. Dinkles?
Mr. Dinkles: Meep. (He falls over and the Trolls fall over like dominoes. A light blue male Troll gets sent flying out of a blue creature after getting swallowed.)
Troll #1: Wahoo! (He lands on another Troll, causing them to fall down. At the top of a tree, A blue female Troll falls down.)
Troll #2: Yeah! (She lands on another Troll, causing the last of the Trolls in the shape of a heart to fall down. They cheer as fireworks shoot in the air.)
Poppy: That’s some fine falling, Trolls! (She gets up.) Who wants to do it agai- (Suddenly, the ground shakes and she gasps.) Growl Beasts!
Smidge: Party Crashers!
Cooper: (Running around) Whoa! (He falls over.) Poor equilibrium! (He laughs and some plants grown in the ground and form a miniature golf course. Cooper backs up and ends up sitting on a fake little house.) Whoa! The Trolls gasp as a gate appears and a plant with red flower petals grows.)
Plant: Let’s play! Let’s play!
Poppy: It looks like a miniature golf course.
All: Ooh!
Smidge: Oh… my… golf.
Plant: Let’s play! Let’s play!
Guy Diamond: Wait, a plant that’s a min-golf course? Isn’t that a little weird?
Cooper: Don’t look a gift course in the mouth. (He laughs and the gate opens.) Well, let’s play! (The Trolls go inside the golf course and get some balls and clubs. Biggie appears on a bug and hits his ball. It rolls on a vine that has loops and turns.)
Guy Diamond: (amazed) Oh! Obstacles, too?! It’s too fun! (He starts running around.) Too-too fun!
Troll #3: Fore! (He hits his ball and rolls past curves and goes into the hole.)
Cooper: Fore… head! (He hits his ball with his head. He laughs as the ball hits some bushes with flowers and a plant eats it.) I did not succeed! (He laughs again. Meanwhile, Smidge has reached a hole. She tries to hit the ball to get it in, but it goes past the hole.)
Smidge: Oh, my Guh! (She goes to the ball and hits it, but it goes past the hole again.) Oh, my Guh! (She tries again with the same result. She groans and hits her head off the flag. She tries to give the ball a little hit with the top of her club, but it goes past the hole once more.) OH, MY GUH!!! (She puts her head on the ground hard and the ball rolls into the hole.) Hole in 32! (The Trolls clap for her.)
Branch: Uh… Let me show you how it’s done. (The Trolls move and we see Branch in a golf outfit. He walks toward his ball and removes a cover from his golf club.)
All: Ooh!
Branch: (Examining the hole) Just need to determine my approach. Hm. (He measures a tiny golf path.) Hm. (He then takes a bite out of a small piece of grass.) Hm. (He goes back to his golf ball.) Hm. (He hits his ball and it goes up a loop and get very close to the hole. The Trolls cheer for him.)
Guy Diamond: Yeah!
Biggie: Very impressive shot, Branch.
Branch: Yeah. (chuckles) When it comes to mini-golf, I am very impressive, Biggie. It’s a true thinking Troll’s game.
Poppy: More like an overthinking Troll’s game.
All: Oh!
Poppy: If you weren’t so in your head, you’d have sunk that hole in one. The key is to stay loose. (She jabbers to get ready.) Whoo! (She hums while spinning and hits her ball. It hits a rock and some Trolls’ hair.)
Branch: Ha! That’s what I thought. (The ball flies into a bird’s mouth. It flies in the air and lays an egg near the hole.) Hm? (The egg cracks and the ball goes into the hole. The Trolls cheer for Poppy and Branch groans.)
Poppy: And I don’t even practice.
Branch: Oh, please! That was dumb luck.
Poppy: Was it, Branch? Was it? (Branch stares into her.)
Branch: Yeah.
Poppy: Oh, yeah?
Branch: Yeah!
Smidge: Uh… Guys? Can we just cut to the chase? Branch is going to challenge you to a round of golf. You’ll initially protest. (She walks over to Biggie.) Banter, banter, banter, yada, yada. Dinkles will interject with and off-color joke, then you’ll eventually come around. I mean, that’s where this is going, right?
Poppy: Yeah, probably.
Branch: Seems like an obvious conclusion.
Mr. Dinkles: Meep.
Biggie: Mr. Dinkles! Really?!
Smidge: Then let’s get it on!
Guy Diamond: (Through the microphone) What an exciting battle of philosophies. (Branch takes out a tape recorder.) Queen “Play From Your Heart” Poppy takes on Branch “The Stickler.”
Branch: “The Stickler”? Really, Guy?
Guy Diamond: You would prefer “Wet Blanket”?
Branch: (sighs) “Stickler” is fine. (He goes to hit his ball, but a purple female Glitter Troll coughs.) Shh, shh, shh! I can’t hear myself think. (He goes to hit his ball again.)
Glitter Troll #1: Sorry! (Branch grunts and hits his ball. It goes into the hole.) Oh, yeah! (Suddenly, the ball pops up again.) Oh, seriously? (grunts)
Poppy: Don’t listen to Branch, gang! Let’s make a little noise! (The Trolls start cheering and she hits her ball. It goes into the hole, pops back up, hits Branch’s ball, and goes into the hole again. Branch grunts. We then show a montage of Branch getting close to achieving something and Poppy beating him. The scenes are like Branch in a science lab and trying to get his ball out of a potion, Poppy relaxing with avocado and cucumbers and hitting the ball, Branch relaxing with his feet in a bowl of hot water, and relaxing in a toaster of hot water. Loosen Up plays.)
(Poppy)
Go on and loosen up
Yeah
Don’t you want to have a little fun?
Don’t be afraid and never hurt no-one
It’s the only way to get it done
I’m-a count to one
Let me see you loosen up
Nothing is serious enough
To interrupt this good old time
(All)
Whoo!
(Poppy)
So loosen up
I can show you how it’s done
Yeah, you deserve a little fun
You know you want to loosen up (Close to the end of the golf course, Poppy is writing notes)
Poppy: Uh… Fun tidbit- you pretty much need a hole in one on every hole to win. (chuckles) Perhaps it’s time to stop overthinking.
Branch: No, it’s time to drown out all these annoying distractions. (He puts on some noise-cancelling headphones.)
Poppy: (muffled) Branch, you just need to listen to me and pay attention!
Branch: (yelling) Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a shot to prepare! (He measures his ball. Outside the golf course, Peppy appears singing a song. Soon he sees the golf course.)
Peppy: (gasps) Trolly-moly! It can’t be! (Back in the golf course, Branch is taking a while to prepare his shot.)
Branch: (Putting his ball and a bottle on a scale) 8.5m, X being distance divided by the time in the air… 1.8 seconds will result in… (Poppy yawns in boredom. Just then, Peppy’s hair grabs her.)
Poppy: What the…? (Peppy picks her up and brings her to him.) Hey, Dad! Isn’t this golf course amazing?
Peppy: It’s not a golf course. It’s a trap.
Poppy: Huh? (Peppy covers them up with his hair.
Peppy: Poppy, this is a Peril Patch- a plant designed to be irresistible to its prey.
Poppy: Double huh?
Peppy: The golf course is a trick… to lure Trolls by taking advantage of our love of fun. Once it thinks it’s drawn enough of us, it will seal its gates, and along with it, our fates. We need to get everyone out right now.
Poppy: What… Are you sure?
Peppy: Yes. I had a run-in with one before. (He takes out a book.) It was a long, long time ago-
Poppy: Dad, we can’t get into a scrapbook. You just said that we have to get out right now.
Peppy: (sighs) Never could get my scrapbook timing right. (He takes out the book again.) It was like the time I-
Poppy: Dad! (She throws the book away. Peppy then uncovers himself and his daughter.) Hey, gang. Turns out there’s a bit of a problem with the golf course. (The Trolls blink and say nothing.) What I’m saying is… THE GOLF COURSE IS TRYING TO GET US! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (The Trolls scream and run away.)
Plant: Let’s play! Let’s play! (It becomes evil.) Let’s play! (As the Trolls run, branches and bushes sprout up. Smidge tries to use her hair as steps to get out, but hands made of branches push her back.)
Smidge: Oh, my Guh! (Guy Diamond does a glitter fart to fly out.)
Guy Diamond: A-ha! (A hand made of branch’s uses a fly swatter and hits him.) Rejected! (Biggie is holding Mr. Dinkles.)
Mr. Dinkles: Meep.
Biggie: It’s the only way, Mr. Dinkles. (He puts his pet worm in a hamster ball.)
Mr. Dinkles: Meep, meep.
Biggie: (With tears in his eyes) I know, Mr. Dinkles. Goodbye. (He hits the hamster ball and it flies, but a house uses a fan to send it flying into Biggie’s face. His face is now stuck in the hamster ball.)
Mr. Dinkles: Meep. (Meanwhile, Poppy runs to the gates and holds it open with her hair.)
Poppy: Over here! Quickly! (The last of the Trolls run out of the golf course.) Is that everyone? (She realizes that Branch is missing.)
Branch: OK, slight bend in the knees. Swing like a pendulum.
Plant: Let’s play! Let’s play! (It spits a spinning petal blade at Branch.)
Poppy: Branch, look out! (She lets go of the gates and saves Branch from the petal blade. They land in a sandpit and Branch loses his headphones.)
Branch: Ha! That’s interference! You just gained a penalty stroke. My comeback has begun! (Poppy frowns and groans.) What? (Just then, he and Poppy hear bubbling sounds and begin to sink in the sandpit.)
Poppy: Quicksand sand trap! Move! (Just as she and Branch sink down to their waists, they use their hair to get out of the quicksand. Another plant shoots at them as they hide behind a rock.)
Branch: Poppy, don’t freak out, but I guess this golf course is trying to destroy us.
Poppy: You think?! How are we gonna get out of here?
Peppy: (On top of the bushes) The Peril Patch as but one weakness. They call it the 19th hole… (His voice echoes and the camera zooms in on the plant with a hole in its teeth.) I first discovered it when-
Poppy: Dad!
Peppy: (Closing the book) Yeah, my bad. (clears his throat) You can defeat the plant if you can make that shot. So may your hearts take courage, may your aim be true, and may your putters always… And we’re falling. (He falls down a tower of Trolls.)
Cooper: Poor equilibrium! (laughs)
Branch: The 19th hole?! That shot’s impossible!
Poppy: We have no choice. (She runs and hits her ball while spinning. It fails to hit the plant and gets eaten by another plant.) Oh, cupcakes! (She gasps as vines surround her.) Vines! (The vines grab her and she tries to attack them.) It’s up to you now, Branch!
Branch: It’s up to me. (He runs over to his ball and takes out his notes.) OK. Winds are out of the west, so- (He cries out as a flower destroys his notes by sawing them.) Just find the width of- (A flower turns on like a hair dryer and blows his ruler away.) Hm? OK, OK. I’ll just do it by eye. (He uses a claw to pick up his ball. The ground crumbles and reveals lava. Poppy, now free from the vines attacks them.)
Poppy: Branch! (Branch is struggling to pull himself out of the lava pit. Just before he falls in, Poppy saves him with her hair. He lands near a small rock. A plant with sharp teeth appears and Poppy attacks it with her club.) You don’t have time to overthink! (She defeats the plant with sharp teeth.) If we’re gonna get out of this, you need to loosen up! Please, try it my way!
Branch: But that’s just dumb luck. You said it yourself, you don’t even practice!
Poppy: (Still attacking the vines) Oh, please, Branch! I just said that to mess with you. I practice all the time. You’ve been to my pod. I have an entire shelf of mini-golf trophies!
Branch: I thought those were for scrapbooking.
Poppy: THE OTHER SHELF! (yells) You are a good mini-golfer, Branch. Now, just trust that, loosen up, and let her rip!
Plant: Let’s play!
Branch: Just need to determine my approach. (He walks to his ball. He jabbers and honks. Finally, he hits his ball and it goes through the plant’s hole.)
Poppy and Branch: YEAH!
Plant: You destroyed me! You destroyed me! You destroyed me! You destroyed me! (He breaks and the golf course gets destroyed. The Trolls then cheer for Poppy and Branch.)
Poppy: Now that’s what I call keeping it loose. (She and Branch high-five.)
Poppy and Branch: Ha! (The camera cuts to a scrapbook Peppy made.)
Peppy: And that’s the story of how Poppy and Branch defeated the Peril Patch once and for all. The end. (He closes the book.)
Poppy: Dad!
Peppy: What? Bad timing again?
Poppy: Of course it’s bad timing! (We see that she, Branch, and the Trolls are cleaning up the mess.) It literally happened four minutes ago!
Peppy: Oh, I give up. (He takes out another book.)
Poppy: Dad!
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