Persona BLEACHED 3: Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Heart
September 10, 2029
"Oh me, oh my, what a forest we have." Carrie chimed.
It was early in the morning at the Academy. Carrie, already in her school uniform, was brushing Natalia's hair in front of a mirror. Natalia was still in her pajamas.
"Sorry if it's a lot to handle." Natalia said.
"Don't be silly. I know a few hairdressers who fantasize about hair like yours. Precisely why you should take good care of it."
"You really don't have to do this. It's not like I'm going anywhere. I'll probably just be in bed all day."
"Even so, you should still be looking your best. Gaining a positive self-image can start with being happy with what you see in the mirror. Do you know what I see when I look at you?"
"More than I do, probably."
"I see a talented, adorable young lady with so much to give. One that I wish could see herself the way that I see her. I don't see how anyone could be so heartless and cruel to you."
"I don't get it at all, Care. You have more money than any of the snobby girls in my hometown, and you're still so nice and giving. You have every reason to hate everything."
"I do. But the world has enough hate in it, my dearest friend. I choose love. And no amount of money could ever change the depth of love I have to give. I know things are rough right now. But just remember, I'm here for you, always. That hasn't changed at all. One day, you'll see what I do. Until then, we take it one day at a time. Starting with this luscious hair you have."
"...okay." Natalia sheepishly responded, trying to hide her reddening cheeks.
Carrie checked the time. "Should be on my way. Will you be okay until your mother gets here?"
"I'll be fine. It's gonna be a water show when she gets here, but I'm used to it. I'm sorry again for...all of this."
"No need for any more apologies. We focus on the now, and the tomorrow. You're here with me, and that's all that's important. I'll be checking in when I can." Carrie embraced her roommate. "Take care of yourself. I love you."
"I love you too, Care. Don't be late cuz of me. I'll be okay."
Carrie grabbed her bag. "Have a relaxing day, Natalia."
"Bye-bye." Natalia waved, and Carrie left.
Natalia sat back down on her bed. There was an assortment of stuffed toys scattered around her room. Perched on a table was her prime instrument, her sewing machine. Engraved on the yellow machine was the face of a happy-looking cat. On the bottom of the machine was another engraving, a message from the gift-givers.
"Every artist has their canvas. Yours can be the Happiness Machine. Love you forever, Mom and Dad."
"Happiness Machine..." Natalia muttered.
There was a somewhat frantic knock at the door. Natalia sighed. "Time to get this over with."
She went to open the door. No sooner did she answer it than she was wrapped up by her emotional mother. "My baby...oh, my poor baby..." Sophia wept.
"Mama...I'm so sorry..." Natalia began to tear up herself.
"What in God's name happened? You were doing so good! Did someone say something awful to you? Did the meds stop working? I don't understand..."
"Nobody said anything, Mama...the meds weren't working as good, and I thought something was happening that wasn't, and my mind just went dark..." Natalia put her hands over her eyes. "I just don't know anymore, Mama. I know I should be happy, put part of me thinks that something bad's gonna happen and it'll be so much worse because I let myself believe it. I just don't know what to do..."
Sophia wiped her daughter's eyes. "I never should've left. I saw the look in your eyes and I knew it, I just KNEW IT that something was wrong. That does it, I'm calling your father and we're relocating the shop here..."
"Please don't do that, Mama! You don't have to keep bending over backwards for me! I--"
"You're my baby, Nattie! I'm gonna do whatever I have to so you'll be happy. The universe blessed me with you when everyone told me it'd be impossible. I've done everything I could to make life wonderful and painless for you, and things like this still happen. What kind of mother can't make her own child happy?!"
"It's not your fault, Mama! I want to be happy more than anything, but I just can't! I just...I just can't..." Natalia covered her face, and began to weep.
Sophia comforted her daughter. "Hey...are you hungry? Had your breakfast yet?"
"*sniff* Nuh-uh..."
"How about I whip up some pancakes? That always perks you up. You haven't had your Mama's cooking in a while, huh? Would that help any?"
Natalia nodded.
"Okay. Just sit tight. Mama's gonna have everything cooked up nice and quick. I'm getting a smile on that face one way or another." Sophia wiped more tears from Natalia's face. "I'm gonna stay here for as long as it takes, danish. I know it must be tough being away from your dad and me and CiCi. Your dad'll be okay with the shop. I promise you, it'll be alright. Are you homesick? Is that part of it?"
Natalia nodded.
"As bad as people were to you back home. It's still where your family is. I sent you here because of how bad it was getting. Do you not want to be here anymore?"
Natalia shook her head. "That's not it. I love it here. Everyone here is super nice to me. And my class...they're like family. I don't want to leave them. That would just make things worse. I can't just quit and go home. But...I do miss you and Papa. It hurts, not having you around. I feel the most safe when we're hugging..."
"Hugs help make everything better. I'll be around to give you as many as you want." Sophia patted her daughter's shoulder. "Let me get to those pancakes. Can't start the day without a good breakfast."
"Nobody makes a better breakfast than you, Mama."
"Thanks, sweetie. I should put that on a shirt. First, let's get you fed."
A few hours passed, the mother-daughter duo largely spending it sitting and watching daytime dramas. "I'm not really feeling this one, danish. How many stories can you really make out of a girl going after a boy that's downright rude, when the nice guy that likes her is right there? How do jerks in these shows always end up with girls swarming them?" Sophia questioned.
"Because they're hot, Mama. It's literally the only reason." Natalia replied.
"Well I think I've had my fill of Hot Jerk Television for one day. How about I get us some lunch?"
"You go ahead. I'm still stuffed from breakfast. Think I'm just gonna lie down for a little while."
"Okay, sweets. You'll be okay by yourself?"
"Nobody trusts me to be alone anymore. I'll be fine. I'm just gonna take a nap."
"You know I have to ask. You being healthy and happy is all I care about. I'll be back in a few. Don't open the door to any weirdos."
"If it's a weirdo, I can take care of them. Don't worry about me."
"An impossible thing, Nattie. Be back soon. Pleasant dreams." Sophia departed.
Natalia returned to her room, laid down in bed, and shut her eyes. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. "Ohhh...guess that's gonna be the weirdos." she grogged. She got up and went to open the door.
"Afternoon, Hoods. Did I wake you up?" Kat asked.
"I was just getting to a nap. What are you doing here?"
"It's lunchtime. Thought I'd give Care a break and come to see how you were doing. You really gave us a scare yesterday. How you feeling today?"
"Same as always. Empty. Scared and confused. You can tell Care all about it on your next hangout trip."
"Hoodsie, I'm sorry. I feel like this whole thing is my fault. Can we just talk for a bit?"
Natalia sighed. "Okay. Come on in."
Natalia laid down on the couch, Kat sitting next to her. "I'm sorry if I sound bitter. I just...thought you were trying to take Care away. It felt like--" Natalia started.
"Like the same things were happening again. Care really was your first real friend, wasn't she? After all those years of hurt, of course you would assume the worst. I'm so sorry, Nat. The last thing I want to do to anybody is make them feel abandoned and alone." Kat replied.
"It's not your fault. I'm such a mess that I read everything wrong. You should be the one mad at me for being so annoying to deal with."
"You're not annoying. You have troubles, same as anyone else. Yours are just a lot harder to live with than other people's." Kat paused. "Care really is a special girl. You lucked out in the roommate department."
"I really did. She makes everyone around her feel so special and loved. If only every rich girl I ever met was just the tiniest bit as nice as her, I might not be having these problems."
"Someone as amazing as her adores you. Looks out for you. Loves you." Kat paused slightly before saying the last part. "Friends like that don't come very often. I feel lucky to have wound up with Barbie. Probably the one person in the world I'm not embarrassed to sing in front of. I'm still wondering how I won that singing contest. I'm nowhere near her league."
"But you sang really good, too. I saw a few people crying. I would've expected you to sing some loud pop number, if I'm being honest."
"Your roomie told me to sing how I felt."
"How you felt...Kat, are you..."
"...hey, you like cuddling kitties, don't you?"
"Huh? Um, yeah. I haven't done a lot of it lately since the Academy bans pets. Mama and Papa brought my kitty with them. Her name is CiCi. She's only two, but she's big and poofy. I always hugged her when I was feeling sad. Guess I really miss that."
"Well..." Kat looked around. "Don't tell anyone what you're about to see."
Kat got up, and her eyes glowed pink. Shadows covered her, and she seemed to disappear. "Uhhh..." uttered a perplexed Natalia.
"Down here, Hoodsie."
Natalia looked down. "GAH! What the what?!"
Kat had taken on her cat form. "Meow."
"What the heck?! You're a talking cat now?!" Natalia grasped her head. "I think I'm starting to feel woozy."
"Don't be so weirded out. It's a trick I learned over the summer. Don't tell anyone else. Only Prof and Doc know about this. You're getting executive treatment today."
"Okay, but...why are you a kitty?"
Kat leapt up next to Natalia. "Cuddle with me, Hoodsie."
"Wha...whaaaaaa?" Natalia became flustered.
"I might not be the pile of floof your kitty is, but I like to think I'm still huggable. I want you to feel better."
"Isn't this weird, though? I mean, I appreciate the thought, but...I know that it's you."
"I feel really bad about all of this. Just think of it as a long hug. Talk to me like you would talk to CiCi."
"...ooooh, I can't say no to a kitty cuddle. This doesn't leave this room, are we clear?"
Natalia took hold of Kat. "....."
"....."
"....."
"...hey, Hoodsie?" Kat finally asked.
"W-what is it?"
"When you're feeling nervous, and you don't have something to cuddle...what do you do?"
"Um...I don't really have a thing. I know Care has her thing where she starts thinking of a more peaceful place."
"How about you try that? It's worked for me these last few weeks. What's a moment that you felt really peaceful and comfortable?"
"Hmm...I guess when my parents first brought CiCi home. I spent the whole day cuddling with her. She was just this tiny ball of fur back then. I was just so happy to have this little fuzzy thing to hug and to love me without saying anything awful to me. It was a nice feeling."
"Well when things are going tough, just think about how fuzzy your kitty felt that day. Maybe it eases your head a bit."
"I guess it could...what about you, Kat? What do you think about to calm yourself?"
"...cranes."
"Cranes? You mean like the birds?"
"Yep."
"Not what I was expecting. What are they doing?"
"Dancing. Two durumi--oh, that's what we call red-crowned cranes--they're wading out in the rice paddies. It's a full moon, and they start to dance. Beautiful, elegant movements. It's a mating dance. Cranes mate for life. And they seal their bond with a beautiful dance."
"That sounds really lovely. Is it something you remember seeing?"
"It's a dream I've had since I was little. But lately, the dreams have been going different."
"How are they different?"
"Partway through the dance...the cranes change. One of them turns into...me. The other crane turns into someone, but their face is shadowed out. But the dance keeps going...and once it comes to an end...we profess our eternal love for each other. But right before I can see their face, I always wake up."
"Kat, that's so sweet!"
"Sweet, huh...man, I really am hanging around Barbie too much. Look at me, dreaming of fairy tales. Thinking that there's this perfect love out there for someone like me. I've spent my life pushing people away, feeling the worst kind of loneliness...but this dream. I could feel it. The love this person had...it was like none of the bad things I've done mattered. No...they did matter. But they taught me to be better. I deserved to be loved because of what I've done. To be loved because of who I am, not in spite of it...that kind of unconditional love...could I ever have something like that?"
"Kat..."
"This must sound so weird, coming from a cat's mouth. But the thought of me being lucky enough to have such a wonderful moment with someone else helps to keep me going. Like I can be happy. That life doesn't have to be a bottomless pool of anger and loneliness. I know exactly how you're feeling right now. But just take the littlest step--thinking of something happy--and it could go for a mile. It could be something as tiny as giving a kitty cat head pats. Whatever helps you get through the day. It'll all be okay in the end."
Natalia began to put on a smile. "Can you turn back to a human, please?"
"Okie dokie." Kat returned to her normal self. "Not as awkward as you--"
Natalia tightly hugged Kat. "Thanks, Kat. I think you need this as much as me."
"Oh, Hoods...we're gonna get through this together, okay? If you're ever feeling down, you can always count on your pal Kitty Kat. I'll never say no to a Hoodsie Hug. I'll see you soon." Kat got up to leave.
"Hey, Kat?"
"'Sup?"
"Have you found your other crane? I can tell you're holding something back. Was it someone we know?"
Kat stayed mum. "Get some rest, Hoods. Later." She left.
"Oh, she's hiding something. Cranes dancing in the water...hmm..."
Another knock at the door. Natalia answered it. "Sorry, sweets. Hope I didn't wake you." Sophia said.
"You're alright, Mama. I've actually been up. One of my friends came to visit."
"I thought I recognized that girl just now. The cute one with the pink streaks and the headphones. How lovely that they're checking in on you. Hey, I picked up some things from one of the markets nearby. Want a little snack?"
"I'm good. Think I'm just gonna take that nap now."
"Alright, dear. Pleasant dreams."
"Here's hoping." "(Hoping they're as nice as what Kat's been having...)" Natalia thought.
A few hours passed, and Carrie returned from class. Rose arrived not long after. "Good day, ladies. Is your mother here, Ms. Van Damme?" she asked.
"Yeah. She got here this morning. She was up all through yesterday and today and a little while ago she just crashed. On my bed." Natalia replied.
"A mother's concern for her child is a powerful thing. Mine kept me asleep and out of danger for 13.77 billion years." Rose replied.
"And you still look amazing for your age." Carrie commented.
"Rin calls it 13.77 billion years of beauty sleep. And that I don't look a day over 2 billion."
"This is a normal conversation normal people have." Natalia muttered.
"Speaking of conversations, we should be getting to the business at-hand. Have a seat."
The three sat on the couch, Natalia sitting in the middle. "How are you feeling?" Rose asked.
"A little less empty than yesterday. Tired. Really, really tired. But better than yesterday." Natalia replied.
"Good. How did your day go? Anything in particular that helped your mood?"
"Well...Mama got here super early, and it got really emotional for a bit...she made me breakfast, which I've missed as much as anything...we watched some cheesy daytime dramas for a while...Kat showed up at lunch and we had a heart-to-heart."
"Tell me more about that. What did you talk about?"
"Well she said she was sorry if she made me feel bad. We talked for a bit about ways to calm myself down, and we hugged it out. I think I understand why you've been around her more, Care."
"Oh? And why might that be?" Carrie questioned.
"You can see it too, can't you? She's not that different from me. She just does a better job of handling it. I don't want to get too into it since it was a lot of personal stuff, but she said a lot of things that could help me out. I used to think she was this selfish jerk, but we've got more in common than she'd like to admit. I'm glad we could sit down and talk."
"I'll have to thank her in the morning. I'm happy that you could begin to move past what happened. I feel terrible that I might've caused you distress. That's the last thing I want."
"I know. It was just a big misunderstanding. If you and her want to keep spending time with each other, I'm not gonna be mad. Just have to learn how to share."
"Sounds to me like you've already resolved some of those insecurities. I would say it was a successful Day One in that regard. Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Rose asked.
"Um...nothing really. Might just hang around here again."
"What do you normally do for fun? Sewing is your biggest talent, yes? Maybe you could get back into a rhythm with that."
"I don't know...I've been doing a lot of commissions lately, but I haven't really done anything for myself. I design a lot of my own clothes, but I just haven't had the heart for it. It's the one thing I know I'm good at, but it feels more like something I have to do now, not just something I want to do for fun."
"I see. Loss of interest is a major effect of depression. There's nothing wrong with being paid to do something you love, but now and again you want to do something personal just to remind yourself of why you do it in the first place. Try to come up with some ideas."
"I can try...I want to make something nice, but my head keeps telling me 'all you do is sew, what good is that, really?'"
"Hmm...what if I were to bring you proof of how good your work is, to silence that part of your brain? I might know just the person."
"If you're so sure. Haven't been able to shut my head up so far, but if you think you can..."
"I'm certain of it. I'll give you some more time to yourself. I hope tomorrow there is more good progress. Have a good night, ladies."
"Good night, Doctor." Carrie responded. Rose departed.
A few hours later, Carrie was preparing for bed. She walked out of her room to find Natalia on the couch. "Your mother still hasn't budged, has she?"
"Nope. Not an inch. She's gonna be out until the morning, I know it. Guess I'm gonna be sleeping on the couch tonight." Natalia replied.
"I won't have that. You can have my bed. I can take the couch."
"N-no way, I'm not kicking you out of your bed. I'll be fine here. Really."
"Absolutely not. If your one hesitation is displacing me, then I suppose we'll have to share a bed tonight."
"Sh-sh-sh-sh-share a bed?! You and me in one bed...together?" asked a flustered Natalia.
"Don't sound so scared, it can be fun. Think of it as a sleepover. I can assure you that I don't snore. I don't mind."
Natalia turned redder. "Okay..."
Natalia went to lie down in Carrie's room, an indigo-colored space featuring three computer monitors perched on a desk, right next to a large jewelry collection. The Diancie lamp that Kat had gifted her was hanging from the ceiling.
"Ready to turn in?" Carrie asked.
"Yeah...long day. Long few days, really. I'm ready for dreamland." Natalia replied.
"I can see it in your eyes. Let's not keep you, then." Carrie turned the lights off and lied down.
"Hey, Care?"
"Yes?"
Natalia grabbed her friend's hand. "Thank you. For...oh gosh, everything. You're the best friend I could've ever asked for. So I wanted to promise that...even if I can't be happy, I'll do everything I can to make sure that you're happy. It's the least I can do to repay you for being so amazing."
"Oh, Natalia..." Carrie embraced her. "I'm going to ensure that you can be happy. Just keep your head up, and we'll get through this dark period. I can't be happy if you aren't. So before you have any ideas, we have to get to that point. One day at a time."
"Right. One day at a time. Night, Care."
"Good night, Natalia."
The two girls drifted off to sleep. "(One day at a time...until I can repay you for everything. I'll give you--)" Natalia thought. Her mind suddenly shifted. Thoughts of Carrie and Kat spending time together, of the conversation she'd had earlier with Kat. Cranes.
On the edge of slumber, Natalia sprang awake with a sudden realization. "(What. No, that...there's no way that's it, is it? The one that Kat's been dreaming about...is it...)"
---
September 11, 2029
"Are you sure you don't want me to make dinner for you girls? It'll only take me a second!" Sophia proclaimed.
"That's quite alright, madame. You should be getting back to your hotel. They must be thinking you've gotten lost or some other terrible possibility." Carrie replied.
"Oh, dumplings! You're right! I didn't even unpack before I came running over here!" Sophia's eyes widened. "And I just realized I've been wearing the same clothes since yesterday! Alright, I'm heading off and showering, but tomorrow I'm giving you a home-cooked meal you won't believe! See you bright and early, Nattie!" She sprinted off.
"Thanks for being gentle. I wasn't gonna tell her that she was starting to smell." Natalia said.
"Just being polite. I would start cleansing your bed, just in case." Carrie replied.
"I never say no to a hug from my mom, but even I have my limits."
A knock at the door. "Did she forget something? Unless she can shower at lightning speed..." Carrie pondered. She opened the door. "Oh! Hello, Madame Kagetora."
"Hello, girls. I trust all is good?" Hiyoko asked. 
"Things have been improving of late, yes. What brings you here?"
"Rose told me that Ms. Van Damme was currently dealing with some inner demons, and needed some words of encouragement. So I brought along my little helper." Hiyoko was holding Aura by the hand, the girl still in her school uniform and wearing the bird hoodie Natalia had made.
"Hello, little angel. You came to say hello to Natalia?"
"Mmhmm." the girl nodded.
"She's over on the couch. She'll be so happy to see you."
"Go on, love." Hiyoko urged. 
Aura ran over to Natalia, giving the surprised teenager a hug. "Whoa--oh, hey, Aura. Whatcha doing here?"
"Mama said you were feeling sad, so I wanted to give you a hug. Hugs make everything better." Aura replied.
"That is your policy, correct?" Hiyoko asked.
"It is, Ms. Hiyoko. Did Doctor Rose tell you everything?" Natalia asked.
"Just that there were some things you needed help resolving. She said that you were stuck in a mental rut with your work. Have you lost your passion for it?"
"Not for good, but...it feels that way. Like it feels like it's all for nothing."
"My dear, look no further than the little one sitting next to you for proof of why that isn't true. Tell her how you're doing in school, Aura."
"I can play with the other kids! I can go outside and have fun! And everyone says I look cute. I look just like Hoots!" the girl exclaimed.
"She wouldn't take any of the hoods we offered. She wanted to be, and I quote, 'cute and comfy'. I think you pulled it off perfectly. Don't tell yourself that it's all for nothing. You gave a little girl a chance at a normal life. I'd say that's quite an accomplishment."
"I guess, but any normal hoodie would've done the same thing." Natalia replied.
"Any normal hoodie wouldn't have been as much of a conversation starter. It has that personal touch that says 'this is who I am'. What you do is bring people happiness with your work. Even when things seem dark, don't forget about the joy you give."
"The joy...the happiness. If only it worked on me the same way."
Aura tugged on Natalia's pajama shirt. "Can I see your room, Nattie?"
"Huh? My room? I mean, it's fine by me. Just be careful, I have some delicate equipment. Also, it might smell a bit. FYI, not because of me." Natalia led the girl to her quarters.
"Poor thing. I can empathize with her, to an extent. My health has been a major source of anxiety for me for most of my life. Stresses that only one person can truly understand are the hardest to deal with. She's lucky to have as wonderful a support system as she does." Hiyoko said.
"We're taking a one-day-at-a-time approach. Little by little, I can feel her improving. Her happiness is my primary concern. Which is why as much as I would love to look after your little miss when you're busy, I have to look after Natalia. Aura has clearly taken a liking to her, but given her recent frame of mind it might not be the best thing for everyone right now. I hope you understand." Carrie replied.
"Don't even fret over it, dear. I understand. I think she would benefit greatly from being around you girls, but it should be when you're both comfortable enough to do so. The thing, of course, is that my only other babysitting option happens to be..." 
Outside, Kaido stood next to the dorm, and was singing along to a song playing through his earbuds.
"And I said oooooooh, I'm blinded by the liiiights, oh I can't sleep until I feel your touch~."
Max observed from afar, his expression blank, and took a sip of his smoothie.
Back inside the dormroom, Aura sat on a pillow patterned after a cat, placed beside Natalia's bed. "Comfy?" Natalia asked.
"Mmhmm. You have a lot of soft things, Nattie." the girl replied.
"The softer a thing is, the more huggable it is. I usually end up with a new one whenever I really need a hug. You can see there's a lot of them. That's what your pal Hoots is for, right?"
"Uh-huh."
"You take him everywhere you go, don't you? How'd you get him?"
"The lady at the orphanage said he was in the basket with me when I was left there. I can't sleep without him--huh?!"
Aura held up the little white owl plush, and realized that there was a little tear beneath one of its wings. "What's wrong?" Natalia asked.
"Hoots is hurt!" Aura showed it to Natalia, a tear forming in her eye.
"Aw, no. Let me see...oh, it's not too bad. Gonna want to fix it quick before it gets bigger. Lucky for you, I know a thing or two about these kinds of things."
"You can fix him?"
"Yep."
"Are you gonna use that thing?" Aura pointed to the sewing machine.
"That's mainly for clothes. For this, it'd be easier to use a needle and a thread. Shouldn't take too long. Let me just find a white thread..." Natalia dug around her supplies, and took out a ball of white string, along with a needle.
"Are you gonna hurt him?!" Aura panicked at the sight of the needle.
"No no no, it's nothing like that. This is for fixing him, I promise. I'm like his doctor. Just sit tight and give me a few."
Natalia spent the next few minutes carefully and diligently closing up the tear. "There you go, good as new. There was a tiny little one behind his head, so I closed that up, too. These things can happen when plushies get older, so if you see another one pop up, just let Dr. Nat know."
"Yay!" the delighted girl exclaimed. She held her plush tight, then gave Natalia a hug. "Thank you, Dr. Nattie!"
"Aw, you're welcome, snowball. As long as you're happy..."
A short while later, Aura came running out of the room. "Mama, Mama! Nattie fixed up Hoots!"
"Oh, did she?" Hiyoko asked.
"Little guy had a couple of tears. I just worked my magic. No biggie." Natalia replied.
"Thank you for that. She never lets him out of her sight."
"It's no big deal, really. Anything to make our little snowball happy."
Aura ran back to Natalia. "Thank you, Nattie. Hoots is happy, too!"
Natalia let up a smile. "Aw. Well tell him that if he's feeling bad again, I'm right here to help." She hugged the girl back. "I'll be by to play with you when I'm feeling better, okay? Hopefully, soon."
"Okay!" the girl chimed.
"Come along now, love. You girls have a good rest of the night." Hiyoko said. "Hopefully, Kaido hasn't embarrassed himself too badly...though I shouldn't get my hopes up." She and Aura departed.
Carrie gave Natalia a knowing smile. "What?" Natalia questioned.
"Is that a satisfied look I'm seeing?" Carrie countered with.
"Maybe. Might be something to the whole 'making people happy' stuff after all..."
A few hours passed, and nighttime came. Natalia sat on her bed in tranquil silence, until she heard a knock on her door. "Sorry if I woke you. But you have another guest." Carrie said.
"Another guest? It's already past 7 o'clock..." Natalia uttered.
"It was a short walk." Sakuya entered the room.
"Oh, hey, Sakuya. You're here kinda late."
"I had a few leftover cupcakes I wanted to drop off. And of course, I wanted to check in on you."
"I'll leave you two be. I have some work to catch up on." Carrie exited.
Sakuya sat next to Natalia. "How has everything been? Even without being in class, you look exhausted." 
"I've been worse. Nobody said piecing yourself together was easy." Natalia replied. "Listen, about what I said the other day..."
"You mean the betrayal statement? I'd already put it past me. Wasn't as if you were entirely wrong."
"You're one of us now, though. It's not fair to--"
"Natalia-san. I didn't come here just to deliver cupcakes. Carrie-san told us about some of the particular issues you've been having. Including problems with your self-image. So I wanted to offer my help. I have some...experience there."
"It's not a big deal, what I think about how I look isn't anything compared to what you've gone through. I..."
"What do you think of when you look in a mirror?"
"...well..."
"The hesitation tells me all I need to know. I can tell you what I used to think of. Sadness. Hopelessness. And more than anything, anger. While I was forced to live under my "father" and his "guidance", I despised looking myself in the mirror. The body that I was born into, what people told me I was...it made me sick. It wasn't who I was. I never once believed that I would ever be able to look at myself and be happy with who I saw."
"I'm sorry..."
"And then came Pittacus...no. Dimitrios. For as much trouble as him and the rest of Death's Hand caused, he did one thing right. He gave me my freedom. With my father out of the way, I could be who I really was. It took several hormone treatments and speech therapy sessions, but one day I looked in the mirror and I thought, 'This is who I am. I can be my true self, and this person is worthy of love. From without, and within.' I know very well how much despair can consume one's mind. But the first step to solving the issue of self-loathing can be to take on a more confident look."
"....."
"Something has always puzzled me about you. You're the heir to a fairly successful clothing line in your homeland, one that has been bolstered by your own wonderful designs. And yet--and please don't take this the wrong way--I would never guess that when looking at you. You always look so unassuming. And lately, I haven't really seen you wearing any of the clothes you designed. Your hair tends to be unkempt and rather large, and...oh, dear. When is the last time you had your nails taken care of?"
"I get it, I'm a mess. I've always been a mess, especially when you put me next to Barb or Care."
"I'm not calling you a mess, and I really don't mean to cause offense. Where I work, we have to keep ourselves looking immaculate. Nobody wants to be served by a messy-looking maid. For as lovely as your designs are, the way you present yourself to others gives off the sense that you care little for how you look. Am I wrong?"
"...you can't be wrong when that's what every mean girl back home used to tell me. When you get called every mean name in the book, you start to believe every word as being true. People are gonna use me for my skills anyway, why give them something to ogle?"
"Don't do it for them. Do it for yourself. You're stuck with the mindset of 'I don't like myself, so I'm not going to change anything because it won't make a difference'. But I'm here to tell you that it can. There's no understating what a little bit of self-confidence can do for your mindset. Self-care is so very important. You're a lovely person, Natalia-san. If you can start looking at yourself and thinking the same, then that would be enormous in helping you best your demons. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"I...think that I do. I..." Natalia trailed off into her own thoughts.
"You have the rest of this week to yourself. Think over what I've said. First..." Sakuya placed her hand over Natalia's heart. "Trust in this. When you can see yourself and love what's reflecting, then there's nothing you can't accomplish. I love who I am now. I want you to feel the same." Sakuya gave her a hug. "Have a good night. Hopefully I'll see you soon." Sakuya left.
Natalia stayed within her thoughts. Then, with no one else around, another figure appeared beside her. Her Shadow Self. "It's you..."
"You heard her, didn't you? You can't be happy, looking like you just rolled out of bed all the time. Why don't you care about how you look?"
"What difference does it make? Those girls--"
"FORGET THEM! They made our life hell and nearly had us die with all that they piled on us! You're the heiress to a fashion dynasty. Mama and Papa want you to take the reins. They know you can turn it into an empire! You've let those bratty witches rule your life for years! Every time you look at yourself, you're basically saying 'I believe them'. We can never move forward until you can look, and say 'Screw them!' Prove them wrong, Nattie. You have it in you to be the next fashion queen. It's past time you started to act like it."
Natalia balled up her hand. She got up, and started packing up supplies. "That's the way, Nattie. Show every one of those snobs back home that backstabbing us was the worst mistake they could've ever made." her Shadow exclaimed.
Having packed up, Natalia made her way out the door. "Natalia? Where are you going?" Carrie followed her out.
"I'm gonna go stay with my mom tonight, Care. I've got something I need to take care of."
"Did you get into a disagreement with Sakuya?"
"Not even close. She opened my eyes to something. I'm not happy with the way I am now. So I'm gonna change that. For no one else's sake but my own." She wrapped an arm around Carrie's shoulders, taking care not to aggravate the burns on her friend's back. "I love you. And the next time you see me, I won't be the Nat that you know. This won't fix everything overnight, but it'll get me going down the right path. To be someone who deserves to stand next to you as an equal. See you later." Natalia walked away.
"Natalia..." Carrie muttered.
---
"That's where we are now, Yannick. She's improved a little bit, but I'm still terrified for her." Sophia said over video call, lying on her hotel bed.
"I seriously thought it was all behind us, but this might actually be worse than last time. So you might be there for a while, huh?" Yannick asked.
"I wish it weren't true, but--"
A knock at the door. "Housekeeping?" Yannick questioned.
"They would've said so. I'll call you back in a minute." Sophia got up and answered the door. "Nattie? You're out of your room--"
Natalia walked in, dropping her supplies on the bed along with a few shopping bags full of recent purchases. "I've realized something, Mama."
"What is it, sweets? There's something different about you..."
"I've let the words of a bunch of spoiled bullies dictate my life up to this point. I am who I am now because I chose to believe that I was unlovable and useless. Mama...I want to take over the shop one day. I want to turn it into a global brand and have people around the world wearing our clothing. But I can't do it if I'm stuck hating myself and holding myself back! I'm so tired of feeling this way...like I don't deserve to be happy! So...I'm going to change things, starting now!"
"Nattie...I'm so happy to hear you say that. But what are you going to do?"
Natalia took a pair of scissors out from one of the bags. "Everyone says I can redesign anything. So I'm redesigning myself. Starting with trimming down this forest." She tied her hair back, then proceeded to cut off a substantial amount. What had gone close to her midsection now only just barely reached her shoulders. "Someday, I'm gonna be big in the fashion world. Now, I'm gonna be someone I can see in the mirror and love. If I'm ever gonna quiet the doubts in my brain, I need to change myself for the better. Scaredy Cat Nat dies today. The Natalia that lets the past control her dies today."
Invisible to the eye, Natalia's Shadow underwent a change.
"I have given you more than one name to this point. Yet now, with your beautiful awakening, I have yet one more to give. I am called Hulda, weaver of the weather, and my true strength is yours. Let us construct our future together. The sad girl bids her farewell. In her place, become the hard-working queen we know you can be."
Natalia opened her eyes. "I've got my tools ready, Mama. Time to make a masterpiece."
---
September 13, 2029
"Still no word from Natalia?" Rose asked. It was the end of the school day, and Rin was in Rose's office as she was preparing to leave.
"Well, there's been a fair number of words. She's been messaging Carrie regularly, but as far as physical sightings, there hasn't been anything." Rin replied.
"It's been nearly two days. I tried to contact her mother, but all she would tell me was that Natalia was busy 'remaking' herself. I'm alright with knowing that she seems to be okay, but it leaves me with so many questions."
"I feel the same. What could she possibly be doing?"
There was a knock, and a girl walked in. "Good afternoon, Professor, Doctor. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Oh, speak of the devil, there you a--" Rin turned to look, and stopped short of saying anything else. Rose, too, was left stunned.
"Ms. Van Damme...is that really you?" Rose questioned.
"The one and only me, Doctor. Those looks on your faces tell me that the last two days were worth it. What do you think?" Natalia asked.
"It's...you look great! If I didn't hear you first, I wouldn't have guessed it was you. Why the sudden change?" Rin asked.
"Being happy starts with treating myself better. So I went to work on remaking myself. My parents call my sewing machine the 'Happiness Machine'. So for the last couple of days, I gave myself some happiness. I fell back in love with what I do. And I stopped paying attention to every mean doubt that crept into my head. This can be me from now on."
"I knew giving you this week off would help, but I never imagined it would be to this extent. Do the others know yet?" Rose asked.
"That's actually what I came to ask about. Do you know where they went? I'd just text and ask, but I want it to be a surprise."
"Oh, of course. I overheard them talking about going to Tsubakidai Park in Karakura. You know the way, just a short drive over." Rin replied.
"Awesome, thanks so much. I'll see you for our next session, Doctor. Buh-bye!" Natalia headed out.
"Our next session, yes. There's going to be quite a lot to discuss, I would think." Rose said.
"Sure looks that way. But it looks like mostly good things." Rin replied.
Over in neighboring Karakura Town, the boys were in the park, standing on a small bridge over a koi pond, drinking from styrofoam cups. "Telling you, man, it was the most blatant flop I've ever seen in my life. I barely even touched him and he was rolling around like I'd ripped his knee off!" Sahir dictated.
"I assume he got up and walked away of his own accord not long after?" Kenneth asked.
"Oh, you know he did. My buds told me that once I got sent to the locker room, he just jumped back up and played the rest of the match no problem. You would've thought I'd rammed a truck into him with how much he was screaming!"
Kibō looked over to Max. "You seem more quiet than normal." 
"Still worried about Nat. As bad as Sunday was, now she's off doing God-knows-what with none of us around to help her out. I don't like it one bit." Max replied.
"I know what you mean. The girls made it sound like everything was fine, but you just never know with her..."
"--lucky it still ended nil-nil, would've gone off if it had...uh, Kenny? You listening to me?" Sahir questioned. Kenneth was looking the other way, a questioning look on his face. Once Sahir saw what he was looking at, he was stunned.
"Hey, what's gotten into you two?" Kibō asked.
"Dude..." Max gestured for Kibō to look.
They were staring right at Natalia. As she had set out to do, she had been completely transformed. Her hair, better organized since cutting most of it off, now had crimson-colored streaks. Worn atop her head was a pair of sunglasses, the eyes shaped like hearts and bearing red-colored lenses. Her usual yellow hoodie was replaced with a more stylized red one, with her family shop's logo placed on the front in gold lettering, while on the back there were outlined images of dandelions. She wore a white blouse, a red checkered skirt, and white heeled shoes. Her fingernails had been trimmed, she wore small red hoop earrings, and around her neck was the red heart necklace that Carrie had gifted her.
"Hiya, boys. This a 'No Girls Allowed' kind of thing?" she chimed, blushing.
The stunned boys spat out their drinks, to the likely irritation of the pond's inhabitants.
"N...Nat?! That's you, isn't it?" Max uttered.
"Unless she's been kidnapped and replaced by a very outgoing demon, I'd assume as much." Kenneth replied.
"It's me, guys. I discovered the wonders of self-care. I'm finally letting myself feel happy. That comes with a few changes." Natalia explained.
"Well, Nat, at the risk of sounding inappropriate, I think I speak for everyone when I say--" Kibō began.
"DAAAAAYUM, GURL!" Sahir exclaimed.
"Right. That. What he said."
Natalia giggled. "You guys are sweet. So where are the girls?"
"Natalia...?"
She looked over, and sure enough, the other girls had arrived, with varying degrees of shock on their face. Barbara had her hands over her mouth.
"Hi, girls. Did you miss me~?" Natalia asked.
"HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIII--" Kat droned on.
Barbara ran over to Natalia. "Oh my God! Look at you...this is so cute! Did you make all of this?"
"I did! Spent almost two days straight putting it all together. Mama helped a little, but these are all N.V.D. originals." Natalia replied.
"--IIIIIIIIII--" Kat continued on, until Sakuya nudged her. "--IIIIIIT, WOW." 
Sakuya walked over. "I thought after you disappeared that you'd taken my words to heart. You look amazing, Natalia-san."
"Thanks! It was just the kick I needed to get back to a good mindset. It felt great to just remind myself why I do what I do. Can't just let a few mean words keep me down forever." Natalia replied.
"Ah..." uttered a mesmerized Carrie.
"Care!" Natalia ran over and hugged her. "What did I tell ya? You wouldn't even recognize me when you saw me again. So what do you think? Do I look like I'm your best friend?"
"Love...there was never a time when you didn't. No matter how you dress, I could never be ashamed to call you my best friend. But seeing you now, beaming as you are..." Carrie wiped a tear from her eye. "I'm so proud of you. Are you happy?"
"I really am, Care. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy with who I am and what I can do. I'm not gonna pretend that it'll magically fix everything. Even now I can hear the doubts in my head. But for the first time ever, I feel like I can fight back. I can fight back, and prove the voices wrong. I've fallen down too many times. Now I know I can pick myself back up. Because...I know that I'm worth it."
"Oh...I think I need a seat. My heart's going to explode at this rate..."
"So does this call for celebratory dinner? I think this calls for celebratory dinner." Sahir said.
"I'm all for it, but before we go anywhere, I want to talk with Kat for a minute." Natalia replied.
"Little old me? If you say so, Your Majesty." Kat responded. The rest of the group let them be.
"So..." Kat struggled for words. "Wow. I really don't know what to say aside from 'You look fabulous', so...you look fabulous."
"Heehee, thanks. And thank you for the heart-to-heart a few days ago. It helped to be reminded that I don't have to struggle by myself. All of us have our own demons. What else are friends for if not for helping to fight them off?"
"Sheesh, it's like I'm talking to a different girl. I'm so happy for ya, Hoodsie. So what did you want to talk about?"
"Okay, so..." Natalia pulled a sketchbook out from her bag. "Your story about the cranes has been buzzing in my head ever since you told it. Once my creative juices started going again, I knew I had to do something with it. These are just some rough sketches, but tell me what you think."
Natalia showed a sketch of a black-and-white, elegant dress, the kind that would be worn at a ball. "Whoa...Hoods, is this supposed to be...?" Kat questioned.
"Like the colors of a red-crowned crane. This is gonna be my biggest project yet. And it's for you."
"For...for me."
"Yep."
"You make up this elegant-looking dress...with me in mind. Why?"
"For when you tell your crane how you feel. When you can share a dance with them on a lake in the moonlight. Moments like that need to be perfect, y'know?"
"Hoodsie, I appreciate the thought, but...that was just a dream I had. Things like that just don't happen."
"We see things that 'shouldn't happen' all the time. I know it seems silly, but I want to help make your fairy tale real. And between you and me...I think I know who your crane is."
Kat froze and began turning red. "I, uh...don't know what you're talking about."
"It's okay. You're probably still trying to figure things out. But when the timing is right, and you want to do something beautiful...I'll be right here. You helped me find what I loved again. It'd be my honor to do the same for you."
"Who ARE you?" Kat shook her head. "Okay. If and when I think I've got my crane, I'll let you know. And Hoodsie? Keep this little convo between us." She started to walk off. "Also, this is a big-time understatement, but you really are stunning. In more ways than one. I hope we can keep you this way from now on."
Natalia put up a warm smile. "Yeah. I hope so too." She put a hand over her necklace. "I'm gonna keep it this way. I'll be someone that everyone can love. Starting with me."