Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"/Quotes

----
:(Gil is on the phone with his wife after unsuccessfully trying to sell Homer a Canyonero)
:Gil: Honey, you should have seen me with my last customer, I...no, but I came so close. This guy was as...whose voice is that? Is that Fred? Aww you said it was over...no don't put him on-Hello Fred, h-hi.
----
:(Marge crashes the Canyonero into Springfield Prison, which allows several prisoners to escape)
: Snake: Whoa! Thanks, chick-dude! (runs off) 
:Chief Wiggum: Well, I hope you're happy, Simpson. Those prisoners were one day away from being completely rehabilitated.
----
: Sergeant Crew: Anger is what makes America great. But you must find a proper outlet for your rage. Fire a weapon at your TV set, pick a fight with someone weaker than you, or write a threatening letter to a celebrity.
----
:Homer: Marge, come in the house! Maggie smells bad, and the cat wants something, but I don't know what it is!
----
:Bart: They're all just lying around. (to the animals) Do something!
:Lisa: Bart, they're not here to entertain us.
:Homer: I've seen plays that were more exciting than this. Honest to God… plays!
---- 
:Marge: I can't believe they took away my license. It feels like I lost a limb.
:Homer: Well, that's a turn-off.
:Lisa: Hey, why don't you come to the wild animal park with us?
:Marge: Oh, your father drives like an old lady.
:Homer: At least I've got a license! (Marge glares at him) Come on, kids, I went too far.
----
:Wiggum: Okay, I assume you all know why you're here. (ducks as chair thrown at him) That's right, you're all angry, sick people. But, over these next eight hours, you will be broken down to the level of infants, then rebuilt as functional members of society, then broken down again, then lunch, then, if there's time, rebuilt once more.
----
:Homer: Marge, you've been out there all morning.
:Marge: So?
:Homer: So lying on the couch and eating stuff isn't the same if you aren't around to see it.
----
:Marge: Hang on; the manual says I need to log on to the onboard computer.(enters "MARGE" on a keypad) M-A-R-G-E.
:Computer: Hello, Marge. Where would you like to go today?
: Marge: No one has ever asked me that before in my life.
---- 
:(as everyone is fleeing the Springfield Elementary teacher's talent show)
:Homer (with an armful of snacks, pushes Marge into the driver's seat): You drive. I eat.
:Lisa (from the backseat): Dad, you were supposed to pay for those!
:Homer (with mouth full): I saw Krabappel's butt. I paid!
----
:Bart: I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.
---- 
:(as Mrs Krabappel is singing her rendition of "Fever")
:Bart: Kill me...
----
:(Homer is inside the Porta-John, hiding from the angry rhino.)
:Homer: I'm gonna die! Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!
---- 
:Carl: Hey, anyone seen Homer today?
:(The rhino stampedes by, with Homer hanging from the horn by his belt screaming)
: Lenny: (nonchalantly) There he goes.
----
:Chalmers: Well, Seymour, it seems we've put together a baseball team, and I was wondering: who's on first?
:Skinner: Yes, not the pronoun, but rather a player with the unlikely name of "Who" is on first!
:Chalmers: (sigh) Well, that's just great, Seymour, we've been out here 6 seconds and you've already managed to blow the routine! Sexless freak...
Category:Episode Quotes