The King of Cats (audio story)

== Synopsis ==
Peevish actors are descending mournfully upon the remote English village of Happenstance for the funeral of TV legend Tom Baker.
His one-time costar Suzy Goshawk is sucked into a parochial vortex of intrigue involving the quailsome local vicar, Tom's acidulous housekeeper Mrs Frimbly and various other fruminous scumblebums. None of them can agree upon how Tom met his disastrous end, and Suzy is starting to suspect that something murksome and swervish is going on.
The snow comes down, and Suzy finds herself trapped at Baker's End for Christmas, with all the village's creepy pensioners enslaved by a strange, dancing dragon...and a Sinister Presence lurking on the sidelines.
Why are old ladies twerking their bottoms outside the post office-cum-mini-mart? Why is the vicar creeping about in the bushes in the dead of night? And why, just when all looks hopeless, does a strange, scobberlotching creature spring into view? Who exactly is the King of Cats in his furry costume and his battered crown?
== Plot ==
Having learnt of Tom Baker's passing, Suzy Goshawk boards a train destined for the remote English village of Happenstance. One of the passengers informs Suzy of her encounter with Tom at a meet-and-greet over the summer where he was convinced that some of the fans in attendance were in fact doppelgängers. The large lady revealed that she read tarot cards and offered to do Suzy a reading, and was surprised when she pulled out the 'large dancing cat' card.
At the Church the Reverend Ailing recalled his encounter with Tom from several days prior where he mentioned that he planned to transcend from the Earth. During the service Suzy questioned how Tom met his fateful end, an actor informed her that he had been inadvertently run over by a TV license detector van - however, the large lady suggested that he had been chasing the van as he suspected the television license people of being doppelgängers too.
Later, Suzy was perplexed when Tom's landlady Mrs Frimbly stated that he had met his end by falling from the post office-cum-mini-mart's roof. Reverend Ailing insisted that Mrs Frimbly was "stark-raving mad" and that Tom had only kept her on as his landlady as he was scared of her.
== Characters ==
* Suzy Goshawk - Katy Manning
* Large Lady - Lizzie Roper
* Tom Baker - Tom Baker
* Idiot Actor - Stuart Denman
* Reverend Ailing and Sinister Presence - David Benson
* Mrs Frimbly - Susan Jameson
== Notes ==
* The Large Lady had played a "voluptuously villainess painted green" in 1977.
* Tom Baker appeared in Celebrity cook-off.