Goo Saloon

Goo Saloon is the ninth episode of Season One of Adventures in Bikini Gulch. In this episode, SpongeBuck leaves Temmie in charge of Bikini Gulch while he and Pecos Patrick go to Goo Saloon
==Transcript==
(The episode starts with SpongeBuck bursting out the kitchen door
SpongeBuck: 3 Krabby Patties with the works! OOORDER UP!
Hopalong Tentacles: SpongeBuck, no one is even here to order anything!
SpongeBuck: I could have sworn I heard someone try to open the front doors.
Hopalong Tentacles: Someone did try, but the doors are jammed!
(Mr. Krabs walks out of his office door)
Mr: Krabs: Jammed doors, huh? That’s terrible! Last time the front doors were jammed, it took nearly all afternoon for the repairman to fix it! Ya may be here with nothing to do for a while, unless…
SpongeBuck: Unless what?
Mr. Krabs: I could give ye the rest of the day off to get a glass o’ milk with Pecos Patrick at the Goo Saloon. But it’ll cost ya one month’s salary.
SpongeBuck: That sounds reasonable! But who’ll be sheriff while I’m gone?
Mr. Krabs: Hopalong?
Hopalong Tentacles: No!
SpongeBuck (putting his finger on his chin): Hmm.. I have a better idea.
(Bubble transition to Western Temmie's house, where he's singing a song)
Temmie: contri rooooooooaaaaaads tak me hoooooaaaaaammmmmm
(SpongeBuck knocks on the door)
SpongeBuck: Howdy? Anyone home?
Temmie: wha???? oh sharif im comeng
(Temmie opens the door)
SpongeBuck: Howdy, Temmie!
Temmie: hoidy partna
SpongeBuck: We haven't really found much use for ya in the series as ya were just added in to please a certain city-slicker by the name of PolarTem, but I have found a use for ya now!
Temmie: realy?!?!?!?!?!
SpongeBuck: Yeah. Uh, (He takes the badge off his chest) would ya like to be the temporary sheriff while me and Patrick are at the Goo Saloon?
Temmie: o i would loev too!!!!!!!!!!
SpongeBuck: Thanks! (He puts the badge on Temmie's chest) Now while me and Patrick are gone, ya have to take care of Bikini Gulch and its citizens, and make sure that rascal Dead Eye doesn't escape from prison!
Temmie: don worry i will make suer ded eye dosent get outa da calaboose an i wil take caer of balony gulch like mai babey!
SpongeBuck: ...Ya have a baby?
Temmie: is an ecspreshon
SpongeBuck: Oh, I see. Well, don't take any wooden nickels! (He walks away)
(Cut to the town center where SpongeBuck is ready to give an announcement)
SpongeBuck: Attention citizens o' Bikini Gulch! Me and Pecos Patrick are gonna wet our whistles at the Goo Saloon! While we're gone, Temmie will be the temporary sheriff. Keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased!
Fish 1: Okay! (He oils a saddle that's on a seahorse and gets on it, but falls off) Ouch!
(SpongeBuck calls his seahorse, mounts it, and literally picks up Patrick)
Pecos Patrick: Are we going to Glove World?
(Before SpongeBuck can answer, they ride into the distance)
SpongeBuck: If ya need me, just holler!
Fish 1: Well, what now?
Fish 2: We… uh… grease our guns!
Fish 1: Okay! (He puts grease in his gun, but it explodes and both fishes get wet) Well, good thing it was a water gun!
(Bubble transition to the Goo Saloon, which is a beach and bar. SpongeBuck and Patrick have just arrived)
SpongeBuck: Well, here we are. The Goo Saloon!
Pecos Patrick: Hey, where's all the rides?
SpongeBuck: Patrick, we're not in Glove World! We're in Goo Saloon! Think of it as Goo Lagoon, but in western times.
Pecos Patrick: Oooooohhhhhh! I get it now! Is there a western Glove World?
SpongeBuck: I dunno, I'll have to check Bikini Maps. (He takes out his phone, but it doesn't turn on) Oh, right. How did it work last time?
Pecos Patrick: I dunno. Cartoon logic?
SpongeBuck: Eh, maybe. Time to wet our whistles!
Pecos Patrick: Okay! (He throws his whistle in the water)
SpongeBuck: I didn't mean literally! I was trying to say "let's get a drink"!
Pecos Patrick: Oh.
(They go to the bar, where there are lots of fish drinking (milk or water), or doing other stuff at the bar, and take a seat on a stool)
Bartender: Welcome to the Goo Saloon. What'll it be?
SpongeBuck: I'll have your spiciest ghost pepper chili, and your finest tequila milk.
Bartender: Ah, ya must be a real ma-
Pecos Patrick: Do ya have Kelpo and Kelp Shakes?
Bartender: Huh?
SpongeBuck: Patrick! (He turns to the bartender) Heh, don't worry about him… he's just a bit tipsy.
Bartender: I see. Will he have the same as ya?
SpongeBuck: I don't think he could handle it-
Pecos Patrick: I'll have what SpongeBob- I mean, SpongeBuck, is having. (whispering to SpongeBuck) Did ya order any Kelpo?
SpongeBuck: Patrick, how many times do I have to tell ya we're in western times! Ya can't order Kelpo, because that doesn't exist yet!
Pecos Patrick: Well, it should! Ya invented the Krabby Patty, so I wanna invent Kelpo!
SpongeBuck: Patrick, neither of us know what the ingredients of Kelpo are, so how are ya gonna invent it?
Pecos Patrick: I'll search it up on your phone! (The phone still doesn't turn on) Drats! How'd it turn on that one time? Did ya charge it?
(SpongeBuck sighs, and a bubble transition to Temmie happens)
Temmie: wat can i do as sharif. hmmmmmmmmmmm. ill ask hoplong.
(Temmie breaks into Hopalong Tentacles' bathroom where he was taking a bath)
Hopalong Tentacles: GAAAAH!!! TEMMIE, WHAT ARE YA DOING IN MY HOUSE?!
Temmie: hoplong!!! your naekd. that's cool. spongebuk made me sharrif an i dunno wat to do
Hopalong Tentacles: SpongeBuck chose ya? Sigh… that moron.
Temmie: ya!! he chos me! wat do i do
Hopalong Tentacles: Well, instead of breaking into my home, ya should be taking care of the town, and make sure that Dead Eye doesn't escape!
Temmie: don worry ded aye wont get out anitiem soon!!!
(Meanwhile…)
(There's a piece of cardboard lying on Dead Eye's cell)
Dead Eye Plankton: I know this town ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but a piece of cardboard?! Ridiculous!
(Dead Eye takes out a knife and carves the piece of cardboard into a key. Then he tries a piece of string to it, swirls it, and throws it to the lock, which opens the cell)
Dead Eye Plankton: That was easier than I thought it would be. Okay, now time to rob the bank.
(Cut back to Temmie and Hopalong)
Temmie: deres no way ded I can get outt
Hopalong Tentacles: Well, can ya at least do one thing for me?
Temmie: yes hooplalong?
Hopalong Tentacles: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
Temmie: yes soree ting hoplalong
(Temmie leaves Hopalong's house)
Temmie: ill go czech in on dedai
(Temmie goes into the prison, only to find out Dead Eye has escaped)
Temmie: WUAT?! WERE DED AI GO?!
(Dead Eye Plankton takes Temmie's keys and locks Temmie inside the prison)
Temmie: WHAT THE- DED AI?
Dead Eye Plankton: SpongeBuck should have picked a less gullible sheriff, don't ya agree?
Temmie: Ya will regret this.
Dead Eye Plankton: Actually, I think SpongeBuck is the one who will regret choosing such a gullible sheriff, as I'm gonna trap him in here next! GET READY FOR THE DEAD EYE REVOLUTION BABY!! (He laughs evilly and walks away)
Temmie: YOU'RE GONNA- aw whose tem kidden? tem is gulibl… wait… didn spogbuk say to hoelr? SPOOOONNNNBBBBUUUCK!!!!
(Cut to SpongeBuck extinguishing Patrick's flaming mouth with a fire extinguisher)
SpongeBuck: I told ya ya couldn't handle it!
Pecos Patrick: It's not my fault! I thought it was red Kelpo!
SpongeBuck: PATRICK! KELPO DOESN'T EXIST YET!
Pecos Patrick: Yeah, I know, but I didn't think red Kelpo didn't exist!
SpongeBuck: Red Kelpo isn't even a thing in the present!-
(Suddenly, Temmie's call is heard)
SpongeBuck: Huh? What's that?
Pecos Patrick: It sounds like Temmie!
SpongeBuck: But why is he hollering?
Pecos Patrick: Probably because you said if anyone needed you to holler.
SpongeBuck: Oh. Well, I didn't mean literally, but I'm glad I said that!
(They get on their horses and ride off)
Bartender: Hey! Ya forgot to pay!
(Cut to Temmie still locked in the cell watching Dead Eye commit all sorts of crimes without being able to do anything)
Temmie: i hope sponebuck heard mai call
Dead Eye Plankton (holding a fat stack of cash in a bag): Hahahahahaha! Now that the replacement sheriff is locked away, I can commit crimes without consequence! DEAD EYE IS TAKING OVER AGA- Wait… what's that?
(SpongeBuck and Patrick suddenly ride into town)
SpongeBuck: Dead Eye?! How'd you get out of your cell?
Dead Eye Plankton: Simple, I- wait a second… I'm not revealing my escape to you! All I'm gonna say is Temmie was a bad choice for sheriff!
SpongeBuck: He was not! I know fully well Temmie is capable of running this town better than ya ever will!
Dead Eye Plankton: Oh, really? When everyone's under my control, including you, ya won't be saying that!
SpongeBuck: What are you-
(Before SpongeBuck gets to finish his sentence, Dead Eye takes out a tranquilizer gun and shoots SpongeBuck in the head)
Pecos Patrick: SpongeBuck? SpongeBuck?! SPONGEBUCK!!!
(To be continued…)
==Trivia==
too lazy to write lol
Category:Adventures in Bikini Gulch
Category:PrimitiveSponge129
Category:Episodes
Category:Transcripts