Epoch

this holy ground burns my feet.
cw reference to disordered thinking and disordered eating
uncategorised mental illness (lack of accurate terminology during respective period + author's hesitance to prescribe labels without professional psychiatric background), lends to primarily obsessional ocd
*leucistic carrion crow
*feathers of shale sodden with watery gold, fool's gold
*pale eyes. numinous, but not unkind.
*short in stature, restrained posture. a small presence that retreats upon itself.
*meticulously groomed pelt, but closer inspection reveals dark circles, hollow cheeks, sharp ribs. "have you been eating enough?"
**some areas of body (localised mostly to wings and chest) suffer feather loss from stress-related trichotillomania
*pacifistic, the kind of person to sweep insects outside rather than kill them. do no harm.
*taciturn, but not necessarily timid. avoidant.
*very observant. detail-oriented and meticulous.
*diplomatic character, very accommodating and considerate.
*devoted to classic virtues of chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, humility.
*views self as unclean and depraved, fundamentally and fatalistically.
**while the stigma surrounding the corvid form has been largely mitigated, he still detects distrust and disdain.
***feels pressure to maintain the reputation of his kind, not to tarnish the efforts of his ancestors with his corruption
**it is as if he has been marked as abnormal with this leucism, neither holy nor infernal in his broken plumage.
**he hides from the eyes of the populace as much as the angels.
*afflicted with unwanted mental images, frequently violent and frightening, of corpses and putrefaction and the sensation of blades; too, thoughts ego-dystonic and utterly despicable, unbidden and unpredictable.
*repulsed by self for hosting such absolute filth. how degenerate must he be to devise of these blasphemies. what an abhorrent and pathetic creature you are.
*terrified of the possibility that the angels are hearing his thoughts. he does not know if they can or are and the uncertainty exacerbates everything.
*deep, deep shame and self-hatred.
*tries to purge his mind with prayer, drown out sin with sanctity.
*fasts more often than he should, because fasting demonstrates self-denial and purity and penance. perhaps he can redeem himself and earn his salvation with this meagre salary of atonement.
**time wasted on material indulgence could be better used for prayer.
*he must be good, or the angels would do to them what the sacred scrolls so explicitly describe, what he had so graphically rendered years before. he mustn't provoke their divine retribution.
*believes misfortune to be spiritual punishment for his wrongdoing (recognises the irrationality, but still believes it)
*the eldest son of a powerful archbishop, born into a legacy of lawyers, doctors, and priests. the doctrine of his pedigree was ingrained into him from the moment he hatched: be good now, son, lest the angels smite us all. say thank you, and pray for your catch, for every meal and every drink. be grateful. be humble. be lawful. it was common sense, really, and he conformed to the creed perfectly and without exception.
*a dragonet of exemplary faith gifted in all things art, epoch quickly grew to be the pride of his family. he was kind and polite and loving, and loved the mercy of the angels above all. his designs decorated the windows of cathedrals, and he was soon recruited into the palace as an illuminator of manuscripts. (expand later: he was also a prodigious organ player.) by all convention, he was the apotheosis of excellence.
Category:Characters
Category:AviWings
Category:Non-binary
Category:Occupation (Artist)
Category:Work in Progress