Transcript:Monsters, Part 2

Armstrungard - Evening
 Ext. Gaudy Mansion Outside
 NARRATOR
 As much as I’m sure you’d like to hear what became of
 Regan and Brennen after their capture by Redmoor
 forces, I’m presently going to turn to what the rest of
 the party was doing all of this, because...well,
 because I want to, damn it. I’ll not apologize for my
 impeccable sense of dramatic pacing.
 While Brennen and Regan approached the fated outpost,
 the remainder of our party approached a property on the
 outskirts of Armstrungard owned by an acquaintance of
 Regan’s. When explaining the nature of this property to
 Nia, Regan had been asked...
 SOUND: CHANGE AMBIENCE TO INDICATE A QUICK FLASHBACK CUTAWAY
 NIA
 So, it’s a boarding house then?
 REGAN
 (EASIER TO LIE) Sure! You can say that.
 SOUND: END FLASHBACK
 NARRATOR
 They were greeted by an employee of the establishment
 who yelled down from a second floor window. Had this
 indeed been a boarding house, she probably would have
 greeted newcomers at the door instead.
 TOPLESS WOMAN
 WHAT’S YOUR FANCY, FRIENDS?
 NARRATOR
 She probably would have also been wearing clothes.
 NIA Oh dear.
 YLLOWYYN
 (TO NIA) Allow me.
 (SHOUTS UP)
 GOOD EVENING. WE WERE SENT BY A FRIEND OF MADAME
 BAILEY. IS SHE UP FOR ENTERTAINING?
 TOPLESS WOMAN
 SHE’S ALWAYS UP FOR ENTERTAINING. ’OW MANY YEARS DO
 THOSE THREE ’AVE THOUGH?
 YLLOWYYN
 BEG YOUR PARDON?
 TOPLESS WOMAN
 IT’S 13 TO DRINK AND 15 TO SCREW.
 YLLOWYYN
 ...PERHAPS YOU HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD OUR INTENTIONS.
 TOPLESS WOMAN
 WELL, WE CATER TO ALL. WATCH THIS.
 NARRATOR
 I’m choosing not to describe to you the demonstration
 that ensued, for, although shame is not known among the
 sprites, the traumatized facial expressions of Billy,
 Jen, and Nelson following this demonstration reinforced
 my knowledge that shame is a very powerful human
 emotion.
 Int. Madame Bailey’s Office - A Few Minutes Later
 Once they were safely inside the office of this
 property’s owner, Nia did her best to contextualize
 what had just been seen.
 NIA
 ...So, you see, the expression of erotic love needn’t
 always be aimed towards procreation.
 YLLOWYYN
 Or constrained by standard human anatomy.
 NARRATOR
 The children’s discomfort was amplified by the decor of
 the office, of which the unifying aesthetic was a
 pre-occupation with sexual organs.
 SOUND: DOOR OPENING
 BAILEY
 Good evening to you. I understand you were referred to
 me by a mutual acquaintance.
 NARRATOR
 The office’s owner entered. Aside from her well-worn
 evening gown, she bore an uncanny resemblance to the
 Bailey who had sold our travelers armor nearly a
 fortnight ago.
 BILLY
 Hey aren’t you the armor lady?
 BAILEY
 No, my sister runs the armory. I get that a lot though.
 YLLOWYYN
 Might I ask how you came to be acquainted with Ms...
 BAILEY
 She helped me deal with a few...pushy customers. I feel
 a bit indebted to her.
 YLLOWYYN
 We were told you could furnish us with temporary
 lodging.
 NIA
 Ideally in a...family-friendly section of the house.
 YLLOWYYN
 Which we would pay for of course.
 BAILEY
 I’d be glad to. Just three rules: Any services rendered
 must be arranged through myself, you break it you buy
 it, and Sergeant McShane is always right.
 YLLOWYYN
 Who’s Sergeant McShane?
 BAILEY
 City guard. Thing is, my business is in something of a
 grey area far as the law is concerned. Sergeant McShane
 makes sure the relevant authorities see us in the right
 light.
 YLLOWYYN
 We shall follow your rules under your roof.
 NIA
 If I could be so presumptuous as to ask for one more
 favor - I was hoping you had someone who could do a
 small chore for me.
 BAILEY
 Of course! Man or woman?
 NIA
 Well I suppose it doesn’t matter so long as they can
 read.
 BAILEY
 Read? Well, to each her own. I’ll send someone to your
 room.
 NARRATOR
 Madame Bailey winked at Nia as she left.
 NIA
 Oh, Galadon help me, what did I just ask for?
 Int. Room in Madame Bailey’s - Night
 NARRATOR
 Later that night, as the party settled into their
 newfound quarters, Billy and Nelson found themselves
 stuck alone together. They could only go so long
 without addressing the killing that transpired the past
 morning.
 NELSON
 I know it’s good that it happened but it doesn’t feel
 good that we did it.
 BILLY
 That’s what being a man is though, right? You do the
 stuff other people aren’t strong enough for.
 NELSON
 I don’t know if I wanna be that kind of strong.
 BILLY
 Someone’s gotta be.
 NELSON
 Yeah. That blows.
 BILLY
 Just try not to think about it for a while.
 NELSON
 I can’t shut off my brain like you can.
 BILLY
 Oh, your genius brain is so high above mine?
 NELSON
 I didn’t mean that.
 BILLY
 I’d be smart too if my parents taught college.
 NELSON
 Or if you actually studied.
 BILLY
 We don’t all get affirmative action, Nelson.
 NELSON
 Are you...Seriously?! You think I’m better off than
 you? You wanna switch places with me when we get back?
 BILLY
 Well not for everything but, like...
 NELSON
 You know both my parents are dead, right?
 BILLY
 Yeah, but...ah, there’s no but, man. That’s my bad.
 NELSON
 Yeah, well...I think around here we’re equally fucked
 for once.
 BILLY
 Ha! No bullshit, I kinda thought you’d be more okay
 with the thing.
 NELSON
 What thing?
 BILLY
 You know...
 NARRATOR
 He pantomimed a stabbing motion.
 NELSON
 Why would I be okay with that?
 BILLY
 I dunno. Cause everyone shits on you and you play a lot
 of videogames. I half expected you to shoot up the
 school one of these days.
 NELSON
 Well, turns out I haven’t been desensitized to violence
 afer all. Plus, I’m Black, you know. It’s only
 videogames’ fault when a white guy shoots up the
 school. If I did it, they’d find some article my Dad
 wrote defending Islam or something.
 NELSON (cont’d)
 That what your Dad taught?
 BILLY
 I don’t even know what the fuck that means.
 NELSON (cont’d)
 Cultural anthropology.
 NELSON
 He studied other societies and cultures so he could
 show how fucked up ours is.
 BILLY
 What would he say about this fucking place?
 NELSON
 I don’t even know.
 BILLY
 You know what’s fucking with me man? I know we had to
 do that. But like even if we get back home, I’ll never
 have not killed someone. Like the part of me that’s
 never killed anyone is gonna stay in that cave and it’s
 never gonna come home with me.
 A BEAT AS THIS TO SINKS IN.
 Int. Hallway in Madame Bailey’s - Simultaneous 
 NARRATOR
 Now, I’ve mentioned before that Jen had grown quite
 attached to a device which she called an "iPhone," and
 which I admittedly do not understand.
 As she stood in the hallway outside the bedrooms, she
 stared with great melancholy at a message informing her
 that whatever sorcery powered the device had at last
 expired. 
 She threw the device in her "handbag," took a breath,
 and knocked on the door containing Billy and Nelson.
 Int. Room In Madame Bailey’s - Continuous
 SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
 JEN Hey.
 BILLY Hey.
 NARRATOR
 She sat down next to Billy and kissed him on the cheek.
 JEN
 How you guys holding up?
 BILLY Fine.
 JEN
 You sure? You seemed pretty upset before.
 BILLY
 I’m fine.
 JEN
 You can talk to me you know. It’s all right.
 BILLY
 How is it all right?!
 NARRATOR
 Jen stared at Billy for a moment, before standing, and
 storming out of the room.
 SOUND: DOOR SLAMS
 BILLY Shit.
 Int. Nia’s Room In Madame Bailey’s - - Simultaneous
 NARRATOR
 Nia, meanwhile, had just finished compiling a list of
 research materials when there was a knock on her door.
 NIA Come in.
 NARRATOR
 Jen entered, somewhat sheepishly.
 JEN
 Am I interrupting anything?
 NIA
 No, come and sit. How are the boys faring?
 JEN
 Not well, I don’t think.
 NIA
 Poor things. I’ll talk to them as soon as I send out
 for these books.
 JEN
 Not sure how far you’ll get. When Billy’s upset he
 doesn’t really talk about anything.
 NIA
 I think he is afraid to seem weak.
 JEN
 Yeah, I just think that maybe if I ask him the right
 way...
 NIA
 You mustn’t blame yourself. You’re a very caring soul,
 Jen. I hate that you must be in this place.
 JEN
 My phone just died.
 NIA
 Your what?
 JEN
 It’s like a...diary that a lot of people from home
 wrote in. And I can’t read it anymore. That was, like,
 it, you know? Last thing I had that was still like
 home.
 NIA
 Why can’t you access it?
 JEN
 How do I explain this? So, lightning. People where I’m
 from actually study it a lot.
 NIA
 Some do here as well. Would a lightning enchantment let
 you access the diary?
 JEN
 It might, actually. I didn’t even think of that.
 NIA
 I’m sad to say I don’t know any. But I’m sending out
 for books. I can look for a spell that might help.
 JEN
 I know it must seem crazy but that would help me a lot.
 NIA
 I don’t want to get your hopes up. Lightning spells are
 especially tricky. And can have some blasphemous
 associations.
 SOUND: KNOCK ON DOOR
 NIA (cont’d)
 Yes?
 NARRATOR
 Both women were surprised to see a very handsome man
 enter the room wearing very little clothing.
 JEN Hello.
 NIA
 Oh my. I’m afraid your attire may not be appropriate
 for what--
 NARRATOR
 --He removed what remained of his clothing without
 hesitation.
 Jen Holy shit!
 
 NIA
 Galadon’s grace!
 NIA
 No no no, more clothes not fewer.
 NARRATOR
 He looked at her, utterly confused.
 NIA
 We are not going to have relations. Do you understand?
 NARRATOR
 Now, he nodded in understanding, having had many
 patrons who had not wanted carnal relations with him.
 These patrons had, however, typically expected him to
 have carnal relations with his hand, which he presently
 set to with wild enthusiasm.
 JEN
 Okay, so that’s happening, and, just, wow.
 NIA
 I need you to get some books. Can you -- my god, are
 you dizzy? You can’t possibly have enough blood to --
 Can you read?
 NARRATOR
 He nodded yes without missing a beat.
 NIA
 I’m going to give you a list -- can you please stop
 that and put your clothes on?
 JEN
 Well he doesn’t need to get dressed for you to give him
 the list.
 NIA
 Please get dressed.
 NARRATOR
 Looking more confused than ever, the man ceased his
 performance and tried to replace what little clothing
 he had entered with. In his present state, it didn’t
 quite fit.
 JEN
 Maybe you should make him some ice.
 NIA
 Have Madame Bailey give you some street clothes. Then
 take this list to the library at the College. Pray,
 bring back the books on it as soon as you can. Thank
 you.
 NARRATOR
 Nia handed the man the list, looked him up and down
 once more, and, with some regret...
 NARRATOR
 ...Nia shooed him towards the door.
 SOUND: DOOR CLOSES
 THERE IS AN AWKWARD SILENCE.
 JEN
 So, that was--
 Nia [SIGHS]
 NIA
 --I haven’t had a bath since I left the city, so I
 should probably--
 JEN
 --Right, yeah no me neither.
 NIA
 A cared-for body is a well-ordered body so if you’ll--
 JEN
 --totally!
 NIA
 --just excuse me.
 NARRATOR
 This uncomfortable exchange was interrupted when a
 young girl ran into the room and dove under the bed.
 Nia and Jen exchanged befuddled looks before Jen
 dropped to her knees to address the diminutive
 intruder.
 JEN
 Hi, honey. Are you lost? Where’s your mommy and daddy?
 NARRATOR
 The girl was silently crying. The door opened again,
 and the handsome man who had recently left entered
 again, closing the door behind him and blocking it with
 his body. He looked terrified.
 NIA
 What in Iorden--
 PROSTITUTE
 SHHHHH!
 NARRATOR
 Jen looked to Nia, troubled. From the hallway, they
 could make out two pairs of footsteps - one of heavy
 boots and the other of a fashionable woman.
 BAILEY
 (O.S., FAR-OFF THROUGH DOOR)
 You know how fickle children can be.
 SOUND: FOOTSTEPS REACH CENTER. KNOCK ON DOOR
 BAILEY (cont’d)
 (THROUGH DOOR) Nia?
 NARRATOR
 The man pointed towards the girl under the bed and
 desperately shook his head "no."
 BAILEY
 (THROUGH DOOR)
 Am I interrupting anything?
 NARRATOR
 Jen realized what needed to be done, steeled her
 nerves, took a deep breath...
 [EPIC, SCENERY-DEVOURING FAKE ORGASMIC MOANS]
 SOUND: DOOR CREAKS OPEN
 NIA
 Sorry, our young Jen has grown quite fond of the errand
 boy you sent.
 NARRATOR
 -lied Nia, as she poked her head out to address Madame
 Bailey and the well-groomed city guardsman she was
 with.
 NIA
 How much do I owe you?
 BAILEY
 On the house. You haven’t by chance seen a little girl
 running around tonight, have you?
 NIA
 Afraid I haven’t.
 BAILEY
 The poor dear’s gone missing at bedtime. If you see or
 hear anything, please let me know.
 NIA
 I surely will.
 BAILEY
 Thank you. Oh and where are my manners? Nia, this is
 Sergeant McShane.
 NARRATOR
 Nia struggled to feign a smile.
 NIA
 Pleasure.
 Int. Nia’s room in Madame Bailey’s - Nearly Continuous
 NARRATOR
 As Nia closed the door to her room behind her, she saw
 Jen sitting on the bed with the man, comforting the
 girl. This was the first time she had a chance to
 notice the striking resemblance between the girl and
 the man. It was also the first time she had ever seen
 such fury in Jen’s eyes.
 END OF EPISODE TWO.
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