Carving Up the Puffy Mess/transcript

Previous Episode: Green Ghost
Next Episode: Zig Zagging At The Zoo of Master Lox
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: February 25, 2017
Episode Copyrighted: 2016
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
Episode starts at The Krusty Krab.
Nicole Watterson: Okay, everyone. Since your father poisoned everything we had in the fridge…
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ah, this is more like it. From now on I'm taking you wherever I go. No more lonely days alone at home. *puts Gary down*
Mr. Krabs: *gasps* What's that filthy animal doing in me kitchen?
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* It's me, SpongeBob. I brought Gary along to help out. *puts a Krusty Krab uniform hat on Gary*
Mr. Krabs: Free... labor? Why didn't ya say so? *takes out a spatula* Serve em' up, snail! *hands Gary a spatula*
Gary the Snail: Meow...
Johnny Elaine: We interrupt this highly anticipated program to bring you breaking news.
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *causes mayhem in Bikini Bottom*
Johnny Elaine: A horrific creature is destroying everything in Bikini Bottom!
Fred Rechid: MY LEG!
Customers: *scowls at Richard*
Johnny Elaine: So much destruction...this reporter asks, "Why?" Local consensus places the blame on a seller of these exotic pets called "Nudibranchs".
Nicole Watterson: RICHARD!
Richard Watterson: It's not my fault. These pets can be very unstable. The milk carton clearly said: "Best by June 16". So I left it there until then.
Nicole Watterson: Richard, that means the milk is only good until June 16th.
Richard Watterson: Ohhh. Then it should've been labeled "worst by June 16"!
Nicole Watterson: *sighs* Anyway…we'll be having take-out for dinner tonight. So, what would everyone…
The heroes except Nicole: PIZZA!
Nicole Watterson: *to myself* Did I even need to ask?
Store Owner: Especially around other pets, and one of my customers, heck, they never listen to me. Here's a picture of the person that I've sold the most recent Nudibranch to. *shows a picture of Lincoln to the news group*
Johnny Elaine: It looks like we found our culprit: his name is Lincoln Loud! He is an 11 year old boy of the Loud family.
Mr. Krabs: What?! Lincoln, is there something yer not telling me?
Lincoln Loud: I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Krabs.
Two cops enter the Krusty Krab.
Officer Malley: There he is!
She and Officer Slugfish run to Lincoln.
Officer Malley: *puts handcuffs on Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: What's the meaning of this?!
Officer Slugfish: Mr. Lincoln, you are under arrest.
Lincoln Loud: For what?
Squidward Tentacles: Well, for causing a monster to run amok Bikini Bottom and for animal cruelty!
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean by that, Squidward?
Squidward Tentacles: Allow me to explain.
Cue flashback; Squidward is playing on his clarinet; present Squidward narrates.
Squidward Tentacles: *narrates* I was practicing my clarinet when I heard some noise coming from SpongeBob's home. *looks out the window*
Puffy Fluffy: *runs roaring and crying, and destroys Patrick's rock house*
Squidward Tentacles: *narrates* That thing went on a rampage, starting with destroying Patrick's house!
Flashback Patrick Star: HEY!
Squidward Tentacles: *narrates* And then I noticed SpongeBob scolding Gary.
Flashback SpongeBob: Well, Gary, what do you have to say for yourself?
Squidward Tentacles: *narrates* That's when I had the urge to call the cops. *picks up a phone and dials on it*
End of flashback.
Lincoln Loud: You snitched on me?
Squidward Tentacles: I'm sorry Lincoln, but I was doing this for your own good. I did what I had to do.
Mr. Krabs: Well, Lincoln, Squidward has a good point. I may be greedy, and sometimes evil, but even I wouldn't treat my pets like that and buy those Nudiwhatsits.
Officer Slugfish: We're confiscating your friend and your friend's pet too! *picks Gary up and puts him in a pet cage*
Gary the Snail: Meow?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hi.
Lincoln Loud: But who's gonna look after them?
Officer Malley: Don't worry, we'll look after SpongeBob and Gary. I can assure you that we know how to look after SpongeBob and pet snails.
Mr. Krabs: If me best cook is not around, then who's gonna cook up me food and protect the Krabby Patty secret formula?
Sandy Cheeks: *offscreen* I will! *enters the Krusty Krab*
Lynn Loud Jr.: *offscreen* Hey Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: Sandy? Lynn?
Sandy Cheeks: Don't you remember? We actually cooked Krabby Patties together once after Mr. Krabs offered me a job.
Lincoln Loud: Yeah, I remember that.
Lynn Loud Jr.: Good luck, Lincoln. Good luck.
Cops: *drags Lincoln away from the Krusty Krab*
Sandy is heard karate chopping food and Lynn is playing soccer; screen cuts to Nicole.
Nicole Watterson: *grabs the phone and starts dialing*
Gumball Watterson: OH! OH! Can we get anchovies on it?
Darwin Watterson: *gets scared* An…anchovies?
Gumball Watterson: Sure. Why not?
Darwin Watterson: Well it's just that you know…I…uh…
Gumball Watterson: *confused* Yeah?
Darwin Watterson: Anchovies! Are they give you bad breath! *smiles nervously*
Gumball Watterson: Oh yeah…
Darwin Watterson: *sighs in relief*
Gumball Watterson: *shrugs*…eh, I can live with that.
Darwin Watterson: *becomes uneasy again*
Gumball Watterson: *excited* So can I get anchovies on mine, Mom?
Nicole Watterson: Fine. But you're brushing your teeth after dinner.
Gumball Watterson: *happy in a cute way* Yes!
Darwin still remains slightly worried.
Slide transition to the city jail.
Lincoln Loud: *sighs* Aw man. What have I done? I've not only scolded the snail who saved my life, but I've also unintentionally set free a monster to destroy the city like Bikini Bottom, Rectangopolis and Royal Woods! Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack couldn't possibly fight Puffy Fluffy off, he'll eat them both! I wonder how SpongeBob and Gary are doing?
Screen cuts to Officer Malley, Officer Slugfish and Officer Johnson feeding Gary with Snailpo. Johnson tastes some Snailpo, then gags.
Officer Johnson: I can see why snails like Snailpo.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
Officer Slugfish: Your owner said it was the worst thing he ever tasted? In my opinion, I think Master Lox's Lair and the Chum Bucket food is worse.
Gary the Snail: Meow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *zips to Officers* Excuse me, Officer. I gotta see Lincoln in his cell. *walks to Lincoln's cell*
Screen cuts back to Lincoln's cell.
Patrick Star, Sandy Cheeks and Leni Loud: *approaches Lincoln's cell*
Leni Loud: Hey, Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: Hey, Leni.
Leni Loud: What are you doing in the slammer?
Lincoln Loud: I got arrested for unleashing Puffy Fluffy to cause mayhem in Bikini Bottom and Royal Woods and for neglectful behavior towards Gary!
Leni Loud: You mean that thing that destroyed Patrick's house earlier today was the green thing you set free?!
Lincoln Loud: Yes. I'm sorry, Leni, I was an idiot at that time, and now I realized my mistake. If only there was some way to rectify it...
Sandy Cheeks: I know it sounds bad, Lincoln. We need to do something about this.
Patrick Star: Yeah, like pushing Bikini Bottom somewhere else!
Sandy Cheeks: Last time you tried that, that Alaskan Bull Worm destroyed it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah.
Loud sisters, Rectangles, Gumball and Darwin Watterson: Poor Lincoln.
Patrick Star: Oh, right. Nevermind.
Lincoln Loud: And Lana, aren't you supposed to be back at the Krusty Krab?
Lana Loud: Yeah, but Mr. Krabs fired me after I've made a mess in there.
Lola Loud: Aw, Linky.
Slide transition cuts to school exterior. Screen cuts to lunch room interior.
Lincoln Loud: *brings an empty tray to the serving stand* Hey, Rocky.
Rocky Robinson: Gee Lincoln, I'm sorry you got arrested by fish cops.
Lincoln Loud: So, what's on the menu today, my good man?
Rocky Robinson: I'm glad you asked. We've got freshly prepared nachos… *gestures to perfect-looking nachos* …melt-in-your-mouth triple bacon cheeseburgers… *gestures to giant burgers stacked neatly* …succulent chocolate cake… *gestures to a thick cake glowing in heavenly light*
Gumball Watterson: *sniffs* Oooh! What's that? *points to a pile of disgusting gunk with flies buzzing around it*
Rocky Robinson: Oh that? That's some of last week's leftover mackerel casserole. No wait, I think I threw that out yesterday. That's last month's leftover mackerel casserole.
Lincoln Loud: *hungrily* Ooooh! Mackerel! *normal* I'll take some of that!
Darwin Watterson: Does something seem a bit odd about Lincoln to you?
Carrie Krueger: You're just now noticing that?
Darwin Watterson: No, I mean…look at him!
Lincoln Loud: *eats a forkful of the moldy fish*
He is moaning in pleasure as he chews. He then swallows and sighs happily, letting out a stench that makes the flies faint.
Carrie Krueger: So?
Darwin Watterson: So?! He chose that gross, week-old garbage...
Carrie Krueger: Month-old garbage.
Darwin Watterson: Instead of anything else they're serving here! That's just not like him.
Carrie Krueger: Maybe he just really wanted fish today. Even to the point of ignoring sanitation.
Darwin Watterson: *gets scared again* Yeah, last night he wanted anchovies on pizza!
Carrie Krueger: *sarcastically* Oh no! What horror!
Darwin Watterson: *oblivious to the sarcasm* I know! I couldn't believe it either!
Carrie Krueger: Uh…I was being sarcastic. What's so wrong about eating anchovies on pizza?
Darwin Watterson: Hello!? Mackerels are fish! Anchovies are fish!
Carrie Krueger: And?
Darwin Watterson: *panics* I'M A FISH!
Carrie Krueger: Oh yeah, *darkly* I see your point now! So if you're not careful, well... *points to Lincoln*
Darwin is having finished his lunch, Lincoln is licking his lips and patting his belly.
Darwin Watterson: *horrified* Uh-huh…
Carrie Krueger: Ohh…well look at the bright-side. If the worst comes to worst, I'll look after you in the afterlife.
Darwin Watterson: *looks at Carrie with shining eyes* Really?
Carrie Krueger: *flatly* No.
Darwin Watterson: *looks back at Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: *lets out a small burp and sighs*
Darwin Watterson: *gulps in terror*
Time card reading "The Next Morning..."
French Narrator: The next morning.
The next morning, The Watterson's house exterior.
Gumball Watterson: *offscreen, sighs happily*
Screen cuts to The Watterson's house interior, dinning area. Gumball is sitting at the table with a box of take-out in front of him.
Gumball Watterson: Nothing like some leftover sushi to start a weekend, eh, Darwin?
Darwin Watterson: *offscreen* If you say so, Gumball.
Gumball Watterson: *after eats another bite* Darwin?
Darwin Watterson: *offscreen* Yeah?
Gumball Watterson: Why are you holding a baseball bat?
Screen cuts to show Darwin also sitting at the table and indeed holding a baseball bat.
Darwin Watterson: Uhh… *quickly hides the bat behind my back* …no reason! Just for…safety. *smiles uneasily*
Lincoln Loud: Seriously, is something wrong? You've been acting all jumpy and nervous.
Darwin Watterson: *still uneasy* Who? Me? Ha! Nooooo! *to Gumball* You're just eating sushi--which just so happens to be made from fish--why should that make me jumpy?
Gumball Watterson: Hmm… *eats another bite* I don't know. *swallows* Should it?
Darwin Watterson: *yells* Do I have to spell it out for everyone!? 
Lincoln is shocked by Darwin's out-burst.
Darwin Watterson: *to myself* And people think I'm stupid! *yells out loud* I…AM…A…FISH!
Lincoln Loud: Ohhh! That's right. Now I see what's going on. *laughs* And you think I'm going to eat you?
Darwin Watterson: Of course! You just can't help yourself.
Lincoln Loud: *scoots closer to Clyde* Clyde, you're my best friend. I may be a bit attracted to sea food…
Clyde McBride: More like: obsessed.
Lincoln Loud: *embarrassed* Okay…I'm a bit obsessed with seafood. *puts a hand on Clyde's shoulder* But that doesn't mean I'd ignore our friendship because of it. I can control myself.
Clyde McBride: Are you sure?
Lincol Loud: Of course I am! I promise. Now that that's settled, want to watch some TV?
Clyde McBride: Maybe later. I want to go to my house. Darwin wants to finish his homework first. And uh… *picks up the baseball bat again*…heh…put this back. *walks offscreen*
Lincoln Loud: Okay. I'll save you a seat.
Darwin Watterson: *walks offscreen like Clyde did*
Gumball Watterson: *happily eats another bite of sushi*
Lincoln Loud: Gumball, what are you eating?
Gumball Watterson: I'm eating sushi, that's all.
Lincoln Loud: Okay, I'll go with you.
Cross fade to The Watterson's interior living room. Gumball is lazily laying on the couch and flipping through the tv channels.
Lincoln Loud: Man, *looks upstairs* Darwin's been really busy with his homework. And Clyde's been at his house.
Gumball Watterson: I'm glad I'm putting it off until the last minute! *my stomach growls* Whoa! Guess that breakfast wasn't as filling as I thought it was.
Lincoln Loud: Yeah, I'll go check on Puffy Fluffy.
Gumball Watterson: Okay. *gets off the couch and walks to the kitchen* I'll fix that.
Screen cuts inside fridge.
Gumball Watterson: *opens the fridge and looks around inside* Huh? That's weird… *continues searching*
His stomach growls again.
Gumball Watterson: *a bit panicked* Oh, come on! *searches more frantically* There were like forty cans of tuna in here yesterday!
Screen cuts to Gumball and Darwin's room, Puffy Fluffy Monster is eating food.
Lincoln Loud: Huh, that's strange.
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *looks at Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: Hey, Puffy Fluffy. You're so big and huge.
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *roars at Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: *laughs nervously, then starts running*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *roars and chases Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: *screams* AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *breaks skateboard*
Screen cuts to The Watterson's house interior kitchen.
Gumball Watterson: *closes the fridge* Okay, don't panic, Gumball! Mom just left for the store. So until she gets back— *hears Puffy Fluffy Monster making noise*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *offscreen, roars*
Gumball Watterson: That's too weird. *exits the kitchen*
Screen cuts to The Watterson's house interior living room.
Gumball Watterson: *enters from the kitchen and sits on the couch again* I distract myself with some brain-numbing TV! *turns on the tv with the remote*
Screen cuts to TV screen where a realistic underwater scene is displayed.
TV Narrator: And it is at this stage in their life that the salmon begin to swim up river…
Gumball Watterson: *changes the channel*
The TV now displays a romantic couple sitting at a restaurant.
Waiter: May I take your order?
Guy: I'll just have the fish sticks.
Human Girl: And I'll have the tuna salad.
Gumball Watterson: *changes the channel again*
The TV now displays an old man on a fishing boat.
TV Announcer: And we now return to the 2-hour special of Fishing with Orville…
Gumball Watterson: *turns off the TV*
Screen cuts back to Gumball and Darwin's room, Lincoln is screaming and running around and Puffy Fluffy Monster is chasing him.
Lincoln Loud: *screams*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *roars and starts breaking stuff*
The vase shatters.
Lincoln Loud: *pants and hides in the closet, then turns on walkie-talkie* Clyde, Clyde, can you read me.
Clyde McBride: *on Lincoln's walkie-talkie* Lincoln, I am Clyde. There's a monster called Puffy Fluffy in Gumball and Darwin's room.
Lincoln Loud: That monster is destroying their stuff.
Screen cuts to Clyde using walkie-talkie in his house.
Clyde McBride: Okay, I'm gonna go to the Watterson's house. See ya–
His walkie-talkie is disconnected.
Clyde McBride: Oh. *leaves my house*
Screen cuts back to Gumball and Darwin's room.
Lincoln Loud: Clyde! Clyde! *gasps*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *breaks Lincoln's walkie-talkie*
Lincoln Loud: Dang it! He broke my walkie!
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *wacks Lincoln with my tail*
Lincoln Loud: *gets hurt by the wall* Ow.
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *roars at Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: *screams*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *breaks drawer*
Lincoln Loud: Gah!
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *rips Gumball and Darwin's clothes*
Lincoln Loud: *runs* Puffy Fluffy?!
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *rips their posters and roars*
Screen cuts to The Watterson's house exterior.
Lincoln Loud: *offscreen, screams*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *offscreen, roars*
Screen cuts to The Watterson's house interior second floor.
Lincoln Loud: *leaves Gumball and Darwin's room and closes the door, then runs*
Screen cuts to The Watterson's house interior living room.
Gumball Watterson: *uneasy* Okay, maybe TV wasn't such a good idea. No problem. I just need to stay calm. I promised Darwin that I'd keep this under control!
Lincoln Loud: *zips to Gumball* Gumball, there's a monster in your house.
Gumball Watterson: Where?
Lincoln Loud: Your room.
Gumball Watterson: That's terrible, Lincoln.
Darwin Watterson: *offscreen* Okay, Gumball. I'm finished. Let the brain-numbing begin!
Gumball Watterson and Lincoln Loud: *looks upstairs with a demented look*
As Darwin walks down-stairs. Gumball's stomach growls loudly again.
Gumball Watterson: *hungrily* Ohhh….
Darwin Watterson: *approaches Gumball and Lincoln* Guys?
Gumball Watterson: *quiety* Fishy!
Darwin Watterson: *confused* What'd you say?
Gumball Watterson: *gets in a pouncing position, demented* FISHY!
Gumball Watterson and Lincoln Loud: *leaps at Darwin, who just barely gets out of the way and starts running upstairs in panic*
Gumball Watterson: *normal* No! *slaps myself* Bad stomach! Darwin is not food! *demented* So…hungry! Must eat fishy!
Lincoln Loud: Gumball?!
Screen cuts to The Watterson's house interior second floor.
Darwin Watterson: *makes it to the top of the stairs* Oh sure! He goes crazy after I put the bat away!
Gumball Watterson and Lincoln Loud: *pounces upstairs, misses Darwin again*
Gumball Watterson *opens our room door*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *offscreen, roars loudly*
Gumball Watterson: *closes our room door*
Gumball Watterson and Lincoln Loud: *lands face-flat against the bathroom door*
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *breaks Gumball and Darwin’s room door and the wall and roars, then moves to offscreen*
They get up quickly and chase Darwin into their bedroom.
Screen cuts to Gumball and Darwin's room. 
Darwin Watterson: *rushes in with Gumball and Lincoln close behind* I didn't want to do this to you… *grabs the bat from under the bed* …but you leave me no choice!
Gumball Watterson and Lincoln Loud: *leaps at Darwin, who then blindly hits us with the bat, knocking us out*
Darwin Watterson: I'm sorry, but it was for my own good. *takes a few steps toward the door slowly*
Gumball Watterson: *looks at this mess what Puffy Fluffy did* Whoa, what a mess. First, he ruined our skateboard, then our stuff, then our clothes, and then our posters.
Darwin Watterson: Yeah.
Gumball's ear twitches after Darwin leaves the room. Gumball then raises his head and growls like a lion.
Screen cuts back to The Watterson's house interior living room. The whole house shakes as more fighting is heard Puffy Fluffy roaring upstairs. Eventually, the bat falls down the stairs, followed by Lincoln and Darwin, who is then pounced on by Gumball.
Gumball Watterson: *demented* AHHH! *normal* No! Please, stomach! I don't want to eat Darwin! He's my best friend! *demented* No! *leans in toward darwin* Darwin is fishy! And my tummy wants FISHY! *licks my lips and opens my mouth as wide*
Darwin Watterson: *screams* Noooooooo!
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *breaks the upstairs floor and the living room ceiling, then jumps breaking the table, then roars*
Gumball, Darwin Watterson and Lincoln Loud: *screams*
Gumball Watterson: This is the end! Goodbye!
Screen cuts to Nicole, Richard, Rectangles, Loud sisters, SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs and Gary.
Sandy Cheeks, Gary the Snail, Gumball, Darwin Watterson and Lynn Loud Jr.: *uses lassos*
Clyde McBride: Hey, Puffy Fluffy, you’re going down!
Red Rectangle: Yeah!
Lincoln Loud: *corners Puffy Fluffy* I should've done this since the moment you turned into a monster!
Sandy Cheeks, Gary the Snail, Gumball, Darwin Watterson and Lynn Loud Jr.: *hits Puffy Fluffy with our lassos*
Sandy Cheeks: *uses my lasso and puts it through Puffy Fluffy's four long tongues and pulls on' em really tight.
Puffy Fluffy Monster: *roars and breaks window and front living room wall, then breaks front porch railing and roars again*
Suddenly Patrick comes in with a sword, gives it to SpongeBob.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Where'd you get that sword?
Patrick Star: Trust me, don't ask.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *yells, jumps and stabs Puffy Fluffy; kills it* The beast has been slayed.
Citizens: *cheers*
Richard Watterson: *approaches Lincoln*
Lincoln Loud: Richard, It's you? And I lied! Oh, I'm very sorry about this! This is not on you! This is on me! SpongeBob will never buy a pet from you ever again!
Richard Watterson: It's okay. I forgive you. In fact, I should thank you for slaying this Nudibranch creature.
Lincoln Loud: Why?
Richard Watterson: Because apart from acting unnatural with other animals around, Nudibranchs make some good, tasty meat, especially when they turn into monsters.
Mr. Krabs: Really? *my eyes turn to dollar signs* That gives me an idea!
Slide transition to the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is cooking purple colored patties on a grill, everyone minus Clyde, Lincoln, Richard, Nicole, Darwin, Gumball, Mr. Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob eat Puffy Fluffy Patties.
Mr. Krabs: Get yer limited edition Puffy Fluffy Patties before they're taken off the menu!
Officer Malley: That lady was right, Nudibranchs do make good meat!
Officer Slugfish: I can't disagree there. But what if we turn into monsters like those things do around other animals?
Officer Johnson: Don't worry, I'm sure that won't happen.
All the officers laugh.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs*
Squidward Tentacles: Lincoln, isn't there something you'd like to say to Charles?
Lincoln Loud: Yes, there is, Squidward.
Charles from the Loud House: *barks*
Lincoln Loud: I'm terribly sorry for what happened when Puffy Fluffy came into the Watterson’s home, Charles. I was a big jerk.
Charles from the Loud House: *growls*
Lincoln Loud: I know, I know, bringing in Puffy Fluffy was a bad idea. Tell you what, SpongeBob will never buy those Nudibranch creatures again.
Charles from the Loud House: *barks*
Lincoln Loud: And I'll allow you to have fun alone at home while I'm gone.
Charles from the Loud House: *barks*
Lincoln Loud: Agreed. Let's never speak of that ever again. Here you go, enjoy this Puffy Fluffy Patty! It's from SpongeBob! *gives Charles a Puffy Fluffy Patty*
Charles from the Loud House: *takes a bite out of it and burps, smiles*
It says "THE END". Episode ends.
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