2013-01-20 Deadpool's Steals Some Money

Deadpool had been doing pretty good today! He only got shot in the head once. And more or less walked away! 
"wwaaaaAAHH!" he screams, flying across the street- about ten stories up. He moves pretty quickly, too, slamming into the building across the street, and crashing though several canopies and balconies before landing heavily on the concrete with a *splat*. "Owww..." he whines. "That... hurt." 
Up top, the sound of breaking windows and the screams of civilians echoes. The shouts are indistinct, but violent.
"Bloody hell!" Hugh Dawkins had just been walking home, messenger bag hanging off his shoulder, when Deadpool ended up crashing onto the sidewalk. Now the man from Australia is just staring at the splattered Canadian. The screams draw his attention upwards and he curses. "What the hell is going on?" he asks no one in particular, startinf to back towards and alley so he can change and investigate. He didn't hear Deadpool's whine or he probably would have checked on him.
Warlock has had a fairly indistinct and uneventful day, mostly just keeping in place the current fake identity he has been using while studying mankind and trying to decide what to really do with himself since virtually all of the people he knows on the planet have moved on with their lives. It was uneventful, at least, until he picked up the indistinct sounds of something screaming and heading in his direction. The, he assumes human, being that crashes through the nearest canopy to him and splats into the ground has most of the people nearby freaked and him at interested and a little concerned. 
Currently disguised as a blond haired blue eyed twenty something male with a face that does not stand out but would do a good job getting lost in a crowd easily the techno-organic alien steps forwards to try and help the injured looking man. "Sir, query: are you alright? What happened to you? Do not move, I am attempting to contact emergency medical help. Your fall likely caused a number of severe internal injuries." Thankfully Warlock ate a cell phone not that long ago, he can do the whole 911 call inside of his head while trying to help.
"It's entirely possible- hhnh-" Deadpool chokes, spitting out some blood. "It's entirely possible they took exception to the fact that I was robbing them." He gets shakily to his feet, looking mangled and beaten- and slowly straightening up. Also, holy crap does he have a ton of guns on him. Like, he shouldn't be able to walk, as heavily armed as he is. "And yeah, lots of internal injuries. But he's okay, folks!" he says, throwing his arms up into the air and looking to the crowd. No one cheers. "Sigh. No one loves me." Deadpool sniffles. "Guess I better go kill some guys now. Get some validation from that, or something. I don't know. Or money. Money's good."
Once he's stored his clothes and transformed, Taz leaves the alley and starts towards that building...only to stop dead in his tracks when he sees Deadpool. "How did you...weren't you..." he's slowly processing what he's hearing and seeing and a scowl crosses his face. "Hold it right there, mate. Nobody's gonna be killin' anybody. How about you explain what's going on here?"
Warlock blinks slowly at Deadpool as he...stands up? Being able to roll over, or even breath still should be nearly beyond him after a fall like that. Well, it should if he was an average human. Warlock watches deadpool, and eyes the weapons all over him as he throws his arms int he air and trys to get the crowd to cheer. His eyes go black as he starts using some of the more advanced sensor systems built into his real form, or that he can build inside of his body, to scan the obviously dangerous and odd being trying to pick up any other weapons on him tha are better concealed and possibly see just how injured he is, or more how fast he is healing. "Negative, Self can not allow you to indanger human life or property."
WHACKCHAK
Deadpool's got two massively oversized automatic handguns trained on both Warlock and Taz almost simultaneously. "I'm not just doing this for the dramatic effect. I /really/ like the sound it makes when I do this. Look." He holsters both the pistols. 
WHACKCHAK. And he drew them again! "See?" WHACKCHAK WHACKCHAK WHACKCHAK. "Wait, what was I doing? Oh, right! Gotta go see a man about a horse." He starts walking across the street, weapons drawn.
Taz glances at Warlock, getting the 'have I seen him before?' feeling. Of course once a gun is pointed his way, Taz tenses and growls. "Ya really don't want to be pointing one of those at me," he warns. Of course when Deadpool starts walking, Taz reaches out to try to grab him by the arm. "Drop the guns and explain what was going on up there."
Warlock does a full Spock eyebrow when he has a gun pointed at him, and that is just about all the reaction he has to it. "Interesting. Self must reiterate. Self can no allow you to endanger human life or property as you have proposed to do." Mostly ignoring the weapons Warlock moves with a surprising speed to end up in front of Deadpool. "Self will also not allow you to harm or perform illegal acts involving an equine. You will disarm and wait here for the proper authorities." Warlock, still looking completely human except for his eyes seems a bit less...emotive than he had earlier. "You have ten seconds to comply or more aggressive action may be required."
Deadpool stops and does a double take. "What the fuddruckers?" he demands. "Don't have time for this! Got some killin' to do! Do it Deadpool style!" He reaches up with his left hand for a large caliber shotgun strapped to his back- a pump fake, to distract both Warlock and Taz from the small automatic pistol he draws with ninja-like sleight of hand. Anyone who's not Deadpool gets a few rounds of 9mm hollowpoints in the foot!
I'm a hero! Heroes do flesh wounds!
Taz finally remembers why Warlock is so familiar, idly wondering just how much he can shapeshift. It's a question for another time though, the Leaguer's attention back on Deadpool quickly. As he goes for the shotgun, Taz swipes at his hand and the shotgun with those surprisingly sharp claws. Then he's getting shot at, cursing as he goes down with an animalistic roar.
Warlock is not Deadpool, which means he gets a few rounds of small pistol fire to the foot. He is also not human, which means he does not fall over, scream, or even bleed like he is supposed to. The holes created in his foot instead of being red end up gold, not like a dull yellowish color gold but shiny actual precious metal gold, which starts to fill in quickly with special effects stolen from the second Terminator movie. As he fills in the holes in his foot all of warlock's body starts to transform changing into a liquid gold at first and then changing to a carbon black with gold circuit patterns all over. His face and even clothing stays the same, even with the change in coloration, but his hair ends up looking more like gold wires. "You now have five seconds to comply."
"Ow! Kitty's got claws!" Deadpool turns neatly, holsters and switches hands, and grabs the falling shotgun in his right hand. The barrel of the shotgun swings down in a short arc and Deadpool pulls the trigger on Warlock, aiming for the knees. Twice. With 12 gauge buckshot.  Right in the knee... bender joint thing!  "Deadpool exit, stage right!" He grabs his teleporter and with a FFZLT poofs in a cloud of sparks, then reappears fifteen feet behind Warlock. "Hey! It worked that time!" He immediately hightails it towards the building.
Trying to calm himself down, Taz starts to grow. He goes from a slender, human sized Taz...to a big, muscular, nine foot tall giant of one. He's tougher that way and heals faster. Pushing himself up to one leg and his arms, the Leaguer growls. "Get back here!"
Warlock is expecting a center mass shot form the shotgun, it's what he faced last time someone tried to use one of those on him. Thankfully since he was not wanting to risk innocents getting hit by loose buckshot the metal wall growing out of his chest to act as barrier extendes far enough down to prevent the temporary injury to his legs that was being atempted. 
Before the alien shape shifter even turns around a tentecle is shooting out of his back aiming for Deadpool the instant he yells out about his teleporter working. "Stop! Cease your actions and accept incarceration!" As for what Taz is wondering about him, the answer is easy, if he ever asks it the conversation will have to start with discussing the T-1000.
"Uh, no?" Deadpool tucks and dodges with nimble alacrity, and promptly fires another load of buckshot at the tentacle thing reaching for him. "Ew! Gross! Keep your damn appendages off me, you damn dirty robot! Where's the Terminator references, anyway? You're like, terrible at this! I've already got the shotgun and all. Look- 'come with me if you want to live'. How hard was that?" Giggling madly, Deadpool continues to flee.  I am so totally ninja!
Taz grits his teeth and glances to Warlock. "Warlock, right? Probably going to need something that packs a bigger punch," he says. Taking a deep breath, Taz uses his three uninjured limbs to leap and lunge at Deadpool claws-first. Getting shot hasn't put him in the best of moods.
Warlock's tentacle gets blasted by the shotgun. Thankfully Warlock being what he is does not exactly feel the pain a biological creature might. He does quickly pull in all the bits he can and forms his right arm into what looks like a large dangerous weapon while nodding at Taz. "Greetings Self Friend Tasmanian Devil. Self has calculated that a more aggressive style may be required than Self had anticipated." He gives the other hero his best confident and reassuring grin before forming a set of jets along his back and rocketing off to try and get in front of Deadpool again. Once in front of Deadpool he fires a warning shot in front of the man's feet. That done, his left hand raises revealing him apparently holding a picture of Justin Beiber. "Have you seen this boy?" Yes, it appears that Warlock has a sense of humor.
Deadpool shrieks like a little girl as Warlock stops in front of him, grinding to a stop. "DEMONSPAWN!" he declares, screaming. He also promptly fires three more rounds of automatic 12 gauge into the picture- and into Warlock's face. "Also, Ninja!" The sound of a nine foot Australian marsupial charging up behind him doesn't go unnoticed, and at the last possible moment, Deadpool performs a perfect split and ducks, letting momentum and physics introduce the Tasmanian Devil to Warlock.
Taz is silently declaring an intense dislike for Deadpool the second he ducks. While he sails over the crazy man in red and black, his sheer size and bulk means big clawed feet at likely to collide with and scratch at Deadpool as he passes over him.
Warlock takes three shot gun blasts to the face and chest. A little less prepared for his complying with Deadpool's request for Terminator quotes he does not protect himself as well as he should. As long as he is going with a theme though, he lets his body from about the waist up split in two replaying one of the more memorable scenes from the second Terminator movie just in time for the sailing Taz to pass right through between the parts. More tentacles shoot out from warlock's legs while he pulls himself together. "The modern ideas of ninjas are anachronistic and false. Also, a true ninja in your situation would have used their sword to remove their own face instead of running and screaming like a small girl."
Deadpool loses some more blood as Taz shreds him with his rear claws. Bits of costume goes flying. "Ow! Rodent!" Deadpool spins and whirls away from the grabby tentacles. "A /real/ ninja would have used your moment of distraction to tuck a grenade somewhere the sun don't shine because you have crazy shapeshifting abilities and I bet that you don't know what this is for." A short knife swings out, parrying away the tentacles. What looks suspiciously like a Mark IV thermite grenade is flung at Warlock's face. "Don't give me ninja advice! You're the guy who carries around a Bieber picture. I am the /epitome/ of ninja. And pirate! Ninja pirates, and I've ridden around on a T-rex! Probably!" Deadpool scrambles backwards with a handspring.
"Whoa!" Taz yelps as Warlock does the splits better than Deadpool. He lands hard, claws digging into and tearing up the sidewalk to keep from falling over. "Who're ya callin' a rodent, ya bloody psycho?" he snaps.
Warlock spots the pin from the thermite grenade and would sigh if he was the type of being that is inclined to such things. Instead his head thrusts forwards and he head buts the grenade thrown at his feet sending it flying back at Deadpool. The thermite being something that has an actual chance of being more than a little damaging too Warlock he wants to get it far away before the timer on it goes, and sending back to the man it belogns too is his best bet. Warlock shape shifts into a black and gold copy of Johnny Depp in full pirate regalia before saying, "I have known pirates, and you...are no pirate." Ok, so the pirates he knew never sailed on water and were more likely to board Shi'ar ships than to sack Port Royal, but his comment still stands.
"I, sir, have had /my own pirate ship/," Deadpool declares. The thermite grenade explodes a few feet away from Warlock. "And I'm calling you a rodent, you overgrown marsupial!" he shouts at Taz. "What are you, the Australian ripoff of The Hulk? You're as bad as Fantomex! 'Let's make a French version of Gambit! And give him guns!' I have my OWN SERIES," he points out. "And I'm on, like, six teams! Canonically!"
Starting to charge, Taz quickly stops when he sees a grenade. Altering course, he leaps for cover. Depp-lock just gets an odd look, Taz wondering if someone spiked his coffee back at the Hall of Justice. "I'm the Tasmanian Devil, not a rip off of anyone, ya crackpot!"
Warlock's body is in the middle of shape shifting as he head buts the grenade so that some form of large complex looking machine appears embedded in his chest. When the grenade goes off, the force, heat, and everything else from it is reflected off of a force field being generated by the machine protecting Taz and Warlock. "Query: What do you have a series of? As your appearance and rambling nature are unfamiliar to me it would appear to have no impact what so ever on popular culture whatever your series is." 
The alien takes on a more, for him at least, normal appearance looking something like a robot built out of spare parts from other robots that are not even all in the same size category. "Tasmanian Devils are marsupials, not rodentia." His right arm forms into a single large and dangerous looking weapon again while several other smaller weapons start to sprout from his back and shoulders. "Rambling probable human, you have one last chance to disarm and give up peaceably."
"I have more appearances with more teams on more comics than Wolverine!" Deadpool yells, scurrying behind cover. He peeks once, then leans out the other side of the concrete block and hurls a half-dozen tiny black spheres not so much /at/ the duo as around them, skittering like hurled gravel. He levels a laser-guided automatic pistol at the duo and lays down a blistering hail of fire, trying to keep Taz from being able to maneuver. 
"I've been on the X-men, Avengers, X-force... And I've done comics with almost every A-lister the Marvel universe has to offer. And Siryn totally thinks I'm sexy! ...and so does Psylock! Probably!"
"Just blast him already, Warlock!" Taz calls out. As the gunfire comes in, Taz grunts and shields his face. In his larger form, he's pretty much bullet-proof so it's just annoying. "Who is this whack job even talking about?"
Warlock's smaller weapons open fire on the tiny black orbs as they are thrown intending to keep them from getting close enough to do any arm to him or Taz. "Self is dubious of these claims. Self Friend Psylock has better taste." She did date warlock's human soul mate, and to him that indicates far better taste than an interest in Deadpool. At the command to just fire he unleashes a series of tree plasma bursts at Deadpool. "I do not know all of them, but many of the persons he has mentioned are...self friends."
The minigrenades pop pop POP as Warlock shoots them out of the air. Deadpool yelps and goes deeper into cover as plasma blasts start taking chunks out of the concrete. "Crap! I hate robots!" Deadpool rubs his chin. "Hmm. Shoots down everything I throw. Can't shoot down bullets. So..." He considers. 
Deadpool pops up a few feet furthur down the concrete pad with the autoshotgun to his shoulder. Five rounds go off- a load of buckshot hitting the shield, and then five rounds of explosive tipped fragmentation devices impacting in a scattered circle around Taz and Warlock. "For fudgesicle's sake, how long can you keep that field up? Wait, I'll just check your +sheet." He vanishes behind the concrete. "Aww, /seriously/?" his voice demands from behind cover. "/Damnit/!"
"This guy knows you?!" Taz exclaims, giving Warlock a look. "I'm gonna break him in two!" he growls, staying behind Warlock for cover until the gunfire stops at least.
Warlockblinks and gives Taz a puzzled look at what Deadpool is saying and then decides to ignore most of it. "Self is not a robot. self is a technorganic life form. Self is not even the most powerful of Self's kind. Self's SireDam is far more frieghtening from a human perspective." He blinks again at Taz and shrugs. "Self does not know how. Self was belived dead until recently." Warlock gives some more covering fire and advances on Deadpool's position.
Deadpool does a pretty sweet tuck and roll, diving and scrambling fast from cover to cover. His autoshotgun continues to go BLAM BLAM BLAM, laying down a heavy layer of the highly explosive bullets down on Taz and Warlock.
"Oh my god, how did I do that without saying anything? That's not Deadpool, that's just ninja! I am the world's GREATEST ninja! And I can talk nonstop! And I do, frequently!"
Growling in frustration as he shields his face from shrapnel, Taz can't really chase Deadpool. The gunshots are irritating sensitive hearing too but he still picks up on one of those shots making a street sign fall. Getting an idea, he grabs it and crushes it down into a crumpled metal ball. "Shut up already!" Taz yells, pitching the chunk of metal Deadpool's way.
As Deadpool does his tuck and roll warlock's arms change growing into a barrier that looks almost like steel that he ducks behind and makes sure is large enough that Taz can hide behind as well. This fight is going far longer than he thought it should, and with all the damage soaking he is doing he is going to be seriously hungry when this is over. "Is it possible he is incapable of ceasing verbal communications?"
"Ever seen that Vin Diesel movie where he killed that guy with the teacup? I literally talked a guy to death," Deadpool hollers. He fishes /another/ grenade out and throws it into the air- it fragments mid-toss, becoming a half-dozen scattering explosive projectiles. "I started in on my theory on applied taco evolution and he blew his head off when I got around to polyethnic social norms!" He finds himself facing a falafel wagon, and leans forward, still behind cover, to steal a handful of pastry.
"Think he'd survive if I ripped his jaw off then?" Taz grumbles as he ducks behind cover with Warlock. Even with his healing powers, he's going to need to visit the JLA medics thanks to those shots to the foot and how long the fight has been going on. "Got any bigger weappons?" he asks Warlock.
Warlock dives for Taz when he sees the grenade fragment in air and wraps around him creating a hard shell. The other hero is tough, but he is not sure if he could absorb the explosions as well as he can. "Is not Polyethnic Soial Norm an oxymoron? Is it not true that in any true polyethnic sociaty that there are no real sociatal norms?" Truely insane theroes might be enough to drive some people to suicide, but when you have someone that probably read the whole of Wikipedia and most of the really laughable conspiricy theory websites for entertainment purposes it probably will not work. "Anything Self could bring out of a larger size would be a bigger danger to bystandards than what we are doing. Perhaps a new tactic?" Warlock quickly shape shifts and contracts around the Tasmanian Devil turning into...a set of power armor. A pair of plasma cannons grow, one from each arm, on Taz. "Fingers to center of the palm will fire. Self will provide weaponry and defense while self Friend tasmanian Devil provides motion and action?"
"Oh /hell no/," Deadpool says, watching them Voltron. "Transformers ain't my bag. I'm gone. YOU HEAR THAT? You tell Wilson Fisk's cronies they can KEEP all that drug money!" He fistshakes at the building, then hits his teleporter. He vanishes just like that in a spray of electric sparks. 
Taz just blinks as most of what Warlock says goes over his head. He's not in a 'smart guy discussion' mode. And then he's got Lock-Armor. Taz grins slowly. "Hell yes," he declares, taking aim. Before he can even fire...Deadpool is gone. Taz just makes a frustrated noise. "I really don't like him."
A dish like antenna sprouts from Taz's shoulder as Deadpool teleports away. "Tracking...tracking...self has lost the subspace signal of his teleportation device." The goggle like eye coverings for the armored suit that Warlock has formed around Taz show a heads up display like series of readings in English and something that looks like a compressed computer code as the area around them is scanned and information on discarded weapons, bullet holes, and grenade fragments get analyzed. "At least the dangerous probably psychopathic being has ceased his assault. Shame he did not supply his name or code name for future research."
Taz just signs. "I'll give the League a heads up about him. Maybe one of them will have an idea who he is," he says. "For now, we should head inside and deal with whoever he was causing trouble with before us."
The Heads Up Display on the Warlock suit changes and scans the building a few times suddenly pulling up copies of the building plans and targeting where Deadpool probably came through with floor plans and red dots moving around where people are inside. "Agreed. If dangerous activities or criminal enterprises are at fault they should be stopped." Warlock is not thinking that staying on Taz now that the immediate danger is over might be a bit odd, but for him acting as a set of armor is like old times almost reminding him of the last time he had done so before his apparent death.
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