The Hospital (Squidward at the Hospital)

"The Hospital" is the second episode of the short series and spin-off, Squidward at the Hospital. It first aired on Solstice on 31st July, 2020.
== Synopsis ==
Squidward desperately tries to entertain a hospitalised and unconscious SpongeBob.
== Transcript ==
* No introduction. The screen fades from black to depict Squidward, with massive purple bags protruding from under his eyes, sitting with a hunched back next to SpongeBob’s hospital bed, with his tentacles gripped loosely on a nearby table.
* Squidward: (desperately) Oh, come on, SpongeBob, please, for the love of kelp, wake up! I could lose my job over this. You know how ruthless that greedy crustacean is.
* Mr. Krabs: (from offscreen) What was that, Mr. Squidward?
* We pan to Mr. Krabs, standing confidently with the door wide open.
* Squidward: Nothing, Colonel Krabs. I guess I’ll get back to work.
* Squidward starts to stand up and move towards the door before Krabs scurries into his path, blocking him from exiting the room.
* Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, matey. You can’t go to work today. You need your beauty sleep. (signature Krabs laugh)
* Cut to a Patty Wagon outside, similar to the one from the first movie.
* Mr. Krabs: Hop in my burger, boy. I’ll take you home.
* Cut back to the hospital.
* Squidward: Wow, thanks, Mr. Kr-- 
* Mr. Krabs’ eyes widen and he suddenly displays his claws, bashing Squidward to the floor in the process.
* Mr. Krabs: My ship!
* Cut to outside, where a robber has hopped in the greasy vehicle. Krabs scurries outside and attempts to chase the robber, who drives off.
* Mr. Krabs: Come back, you scallywag!
* Cut back to the hospital. A flattened Squidward, still on the floor, moans.
* Squidward: Well, I guess I’ll just stay here for now.
* Bubble transition to the same room in the hospital, in a similar shot to the beginning of the episode, with Squidward fast asleep in the chair. The nurse fish comes in to turn the lights off, speaking with a strong English accent.
* Nurse: Goodnight, lads! Sleep tight.
* She turns the lights off, closes the door, and walks away. Squidward, now alone in the dark with SpongeBob, is shocked by the slam of the door and wakes up in a panic.
* Squidward: Huh?! Mommy? Oh… 
* Squidward looks at SpongeBob, still lying comatose on the hospital bed, and gazes his eyes at the life support. He sighs.
* Squidward: Well, I guess I could make his last moments like how he would have wanted… remarkably stupid. 
* He digs in his pockets for a CD and opens the case before slowly inserting the disc into the life support. Somehow. 
* Squidward: Are you ready, SpongeBob?
* Painty the Pirate: (voiceover) Oh…
* Cut to the hospital room, lights on and with Squidward standing in front of the bed, holding a microphone, whilst the instrumental to the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song plays.
* Squidward: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
* He points the mic in SpongeBob’s direction, hoping for the lyric to be completed, but is met with radio silence.
* Squidward: Annoying and yellow, as dumb as can be?
* Silence again. He sighs and skips to the chorus, repeating SpongeBob’s name, getting slower and quieter with each repetition whilst he wells up with tears.
* Squidward: SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants… (crying) SpongeBob SquarePants!
* He drops his head onto the bed and cries, as the life support machine beeps the tune to the nose-whistling at the end of the song. Bubble transition to Squidward, snoring loudly, with the lights off, for a few seconds before an alarm on his watch rings, waking him up.
* Squidward: Huh?!
* He looks at the watch; it reads “6:00 AM”.
* Squidward: Oh, hoopla! I need to get to work!
* He rushes out of the room, and starts running down the hospital’s corridors, bumping into aggravated nurses and jumping over several electrical wires. He encounters a nurse fish transporting Fred Rechid on a hospital bed.
* Nurse: Move, please!
* Squidward presses himself against the wall to move out of the way but the nurse continues to move very slowly.
* Fred: Rev up that blood transfusion, because I sure am thirsty for some--
* An infuriated Squidward rushes past the nurse, causing the hospital bed, with Fred in it, to swivel and start spinning, much to the Nurse’s dismay.
* Fred: MY LEG!
* Cut to a close-up of the hospital’s front door, which opens to show Squidward hastily running for the exit, only to bump into something as soon as he gets out of the door.
* Patrick: Oh, hi, Squidward.
* Cut to Patrick licking a lollipop with Squidward, bruised, on the floor next to him.
* Squidward: (between sobs) Hi… Patrick.
* Patrick: How’s it goin'?
* Close-up of Squidward’s face, with his bloodshot eyes full of tears and his nose twisted to an uncomfortable angle.
* Squidward: Just fine, Patrick… everything’s going fine.
* Fade to black. After a few seconds, a faint “My other leg!” is heard, and the episode ends.
Category:Squidward at the Hospital
Category:Episodes written by Mrs Chanandler Bong
Category:JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway
Category:BBC
Category:Solstice
Category:2020
Category:2020 Episodes
Category:2020 Transcripts
Category:2020s