APHartheid

Apartheid, you say?
*Inhale*
I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru
I've had sunstroke in the arctic and a swim in Timbuktu
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a yeti in Nepal
And I've danced with ten-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall
I've met the king of China and the working Yorkshire miner
But I've never met a nice South African
No, he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising, man
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant bastards
Who hate black people
I once got served in Woolies after less than four week's wait
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school
I've met a normal merman, and a fairly modest German
But I've never met a nice South African
You might also like
No, he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising, man
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers
Who smell like baboons
I've had a close encounter of the 22nd kind
That's when an alien spaceship (pop) disappears up your behind
I've got directory enquiries after less than forty rings
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings
I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig
But I've never met a nice South African
No, he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising, man
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths
With no sense of humour
I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies
I met a man in Kathmandu who claimed to have two willies
I've had a nice pot noodle, but I've never had a poodle
And I've never met a nice South African
No, he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising, man
Because we've never met one either
Except for Breyten Breytenbach, and he's emigrated to Paris
Yes, he's quite a nice South African
And he's hardly ever killed anyone
And he's not smelly at all
That's why we put him prison