A Fish out of Water/Transcript

Setting: SpongeBob's Backyard
SpongeBob: Last time on SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show, our contestants were forced to consume an entire four course meal filled with some of the most fowl things that they had ever tasted, cooked by the one and only, Mr. Krabs! Plankton refused to eat the final course, which brought Mr. Krabs back in the competition! Sadly, Man Ray was eliminated! Who will join him this week? Will the Krabby Patties reclaim their title? Will I stop asking all these questions? All of these questions and much more will be answered tonight on SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show!
[Opening Theme]
Setting: Bus Stop                                                     
Squidward: What exactly are we doing here again?
SpongeBob: This is where your fourth challenge awaits you.
Mrs. Puff: Speaking of the fourth challenge, what is it?
SpongeBob: Oh, you'll see. [Giggles]
[Bus stops in front of contestants]
SpongeBob: Follow me! [Enters the bus with the contestants following]
Patrick: [Sits down beside Squidward, and begins whistling]
Squidward: Oh, boy. At least it can't get any worse.
SpongeBob: Oh, yes it can!
[Bus reaches the surface]
Squidward: [Sighs] I spoke too soon.
Patrick: Hey Squidward, do you feel any different?
Squidward: That's, because there's no water on the surface you buffoon.
SpongeBob: If you look under your seats you will find water helmets which you will use in today's competition!
Squidward: [Reaches under seat, and grabs water helmet]
Patrick: Wait! Don't put it on... [Begins whispering] It might be poisoned.
Squidward: Either you're not getting enough water to your brain, or you're just plain stupid.
Patrick: Eh... it's a little of both.
Squidward: [Puts on water helmet] Suit yourself.
SpongeBob: In today's challenge you'll be forced to survive on land! The first team to give up will face the dreaded elimination ceremony!
Sandy: I've adapted to both land and water! The Jellyfish are going down... hard!
SpongeBob: Very enthusiastic Sandy! [Leans over to Fred and starts whispering] Keep an eye on her.
Fred: [Salutes SpongeBob] Sir, yes sir!
SpongeBob: Be prepared, because you'll be surviving in... the mall!
[Everyone gasps except Pearl]
Pearl: Yipee! I love the mall!
Flying Dutchman: No! Anything but the mall!
[Bus door opens]
Setting: The Mall
[Everyone gulps]
Mr. Krabs: Hey, it's not that bad. Hardly anyone's here. [Voice echo's]
SpongeBob: Ten... nine... eigh-
Barnacle Boy: What are you doing?
SpongeBob: Counting down until rush hour.
Plankton: Karen, if I don't survive this I want you to know that I-
Person: [Steps on Plankton]
Plankton: Ow!
Person: [Takes another step while Plankton is still stuck to his foot]
Plankton: Ow!
Person: [Takes another step while Plankton is still stuck to his foot]
Plankton: Ow!
Karen: That was unexpected.
Mr. Krabs: No one really liked the little runt anyway.
Larry the Lobster: Hey, has anyone seen Patrick?
Setting: Fish Store
Blowfish: Come on man! You have to let us out of here! I'm innocent I tell you!
Patrick: I don't know... you look pretty shifty to me. Wait a minute your trapped inside there?
Blowfish: Yeah.
Patrick: So if I make fun of you, you can't hurt me?
Blowfish: I guess not.
Patrick: In that case...[Sticks tongue out at Blowfish] I'm a big fat Blowfish, and I'm so stupid that-
Store Owner: Hey little guy!
Patrick: Huh? Are you talking to me?
Store Owner: How did you get out of of the tank? I'll put you back in.
Patrick: Oh, you don't understand-
Store Owner: [Picks up Patrick]
Patrick: Hey! I demand that you put me down right now!
Store Owner: [Drops Patrick into fish tank]
Blowfish: What were you saying about me being a big, fat, stupid, blowfish?
Patrick: About all that stuff I said earlier... I was just kidding. [Laughs suspiciously]
Blowfish: Maybe it's time for me to teach you a lesson! [Cracks knuckles]
Patrick: [Gulps]
Setting: Walkway
Larry the Lobster: [Stomach growls] Man, am I hungry! [Approaches restaurant] Hmm? [Reads sign aloud] "Seafood" [Licks lips] Mmm... now that's my kind of food. [Enters restaurant]
Setting: Seafood Resturaunt
Larry the Lobster: Don, is that you?
Don the Whale: Larry?
Larry the Lobster: What are you doing here?
Don the Whale: I was walking home from the gym, and a hook with food on it appeared out of nowhere. It looked so delicious, [Licks lips] so I ate it, and then the hook jerked me onto the surface. After that I blacked out, and woke up here.
Larry the Lobster: I've got to get you out of here!
Chef: There he is! Get him! [Points at Don the Whale]
Don the Whale: Oh, no! It's the chef! Run!
[Both Don the Whale and Larry the Lobster exit the restaurant in fear]
Setting: Walkway
Larry the Lobster: What was that guys problem?
Don the Whale: From what I heard, he wanted to turn me into something called "sushi!"
Larry the Lobster: What's "sushi?"
Don the Whale: Apparently it's some kind of raw fish, and these people... [Begins whispering] eat it. At least I'm not on the menu tonight!
Chef: [Grabs Don the Whale] Got you!
Don the Whale: Larry, run!
Larry the Lobster: [Runs away]
Setting: Escalator
Larry the Lobster: What am I going to do? Think, Larry, think! You can do this! Wait a minute... that's it!
Setting: Seafood Restaurant
Chef: Listen up little fellow! I don't want you pulling another escape stunt like that again! Do you understand?
Larry the Lobster: Hey chef!
Chef: Huh?
Larry the Lobster: Meet my bus! [Runs over the chef's foot]
Chef: [Drops Don the Whale, and grabs his foot in agony] Youch!
Larry the Lobster: Get in!
Don the Whale: [Enters bus] Where did you get the bus?
Larry the Lobster: Fred left the keys in ignition!
Mermaid Man: Evil!
Don the Whale: Huh? What are you doing here?
Mermaid Man: Where am I? Oh, well. [Falls back asleep]
Larry the Lobster: Hold on, this is going to be a bumpy ride! [Drives bus down the escalator]
Setting: Walkway
SpongeBob: [Turns page on newspaper, and sips from a cup of coffey]
Plankton: [Appears on crutches]
SpongeBob: What happened to you?
Plankton: I was trampled by a bunch of retchid humans, you buffoon!
[Bus driven by Larry the Lobster runs over Plankton]
SpongeBob: [Begins to say something]
Plankton: Not another word! 
Larry the Lobster: Guys, get in! We've got an angry chef on our fins!
Setting: Carousel
Sandy: [Inserts coin, and gets on horse]
[Bus stops in front of Sandy]
Larry the Lobster: Don't want to know. [Continues driving]
Setting: Fish Store
Patrick: Please, stop! I can't take it anymore! 
Blowfish: In order to find the area of a square you must multiply length times width! Do you understand? [Points at blackboard]
Patrick: My brain hurts!
[Bus stops in front of Patrick]
Larry the Lobster: Get in!
Patrick: How did you get in here?
Larry the Lobster: It's a long story!
Patrick: [Get's on bus]
[Bus drives away]
Blowfish: Take me with you!
[Motion censored exit opens]
Larry the Lobster: It's closing! We're never gonna make it!
SpongeBob: Never say "never!"
Larry the Lobster: You just did... twice-
Patrick: E=MC2! [Covers mouth]
Mermaid Man: Huh?
Patrick: I was "taught a lesson" today.
Mermaid Man: What a smart boy!
Squidward: Yeah, he's a genius. [Sarcastically]
[Bus makes it through the door, and enters Bikini Bottom]
[Everyone cheers]
SpongeBob: Now that were safe there's an announcement that I need to make... your water helmets were poisoned all along! [Laughs]
Squidward: Huh? [Falls unconscious]
Patrick: Oh, yeah! In your face! [Jumps out bus window cheering]
SpongeBob: Ok, guys... you can quit acting now, he's gone... guys...  [Looks worried]
Squidward: [Begins laughing] You should have seen the look on your face!
Setting: SpongeBob's Backyard
SpongeBob: Thank you for joining me here today! Neither team won today's competition, because we were chased out of the mall today by a chef who's not right in the head, so today... anyone can be eliminated!
[Everyone gasps]
SpongeBob: ...The fourth contestant to be eliminated from SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show is... Plankton! Plankton, where are you?
Scooter: He's in the infirmary sir.
SpongeBob: Oh. Well... I guess that's it.
Setting: Carousel
Sandy: [Still riding horse] Yee haw!
The End
Category:Transcripts