Evil Heritage

(Plankton is eating holographic meatloaf)
Karen: Enjoying your meatloaf, honey?
Plankton: You know what I’d really like to see? Real meatloaf.
Karen: Sheldon, you know our bank account has been in the negatives for 10 or so years now. We’re actually LOSING money.
Plankton: You got me there. Surely there’s a way to make more money fast.
Karen: Honey, you’ve tried everything, including getting the secret formula, and you know that doesn’t work.
Plankton: I wonder how my ancestors got their money.
Karen: Ooh! That reminds me of my ancestors! Hold on just a second.
(Karen walks out of the room, and comes back with a big book, and slaps it down onto the table)
Plankton: You have ancestors? Technology doesn’t go that far.
Karen: That’s where you’re wrong. Before us computers, there were calculators, and before that, the abacus.
Plankton: Who ever thought that was a good idea?
Karen: It was a good idea back then. Now, let’s take a look at some memories. Ooh, here’s a good one! It was my old grandpa Commodore!
Plankton: Is he the groomer or the-?
Karen: No, not that stinker! The computer!
Plankton: Are we gonna do a flashback or what?
(Flashback begins)
Plankton: Oh okay we’re going with this.
Karen: Grandpa Commodore was the sheriff of Bottom Gulch for some time.
Plankton: But what happened to Bikini Gulch?
Karen: I’m talking about the other side of Bikini Gulch.
Plankton: There’s another side?
Karen: You know, the darker side of downtown, that side.
Plankton: Oh right. Kinda like where we are now.
Karen: Exactly. Anyway, Commodore was taken very seriously around this side of town. Nobody bothered to mess with him. Some called him tough as nuts and bolts. But there was one person who could ever come close to his level.
Plankton: Who’s that?
Karen: Granny Apple Mac. By the way they aren’t related.
Plankton: Figures.
Karen: Hey, Macs aren’t as bad as you think they are. She was a toughie. One time she even beat Commodore as his own game.
(Flashback now has dialogue)
(Apple Mac is staring down Commodore in the distance. This goes on for some time over some overly dramatic western music)
Apple Mac: So… we meet again.
Commodore: Indeed, madam.
Apple Mac: It’s on.
(Commodore pulls out his two pistols and dual wields them in his computer hands. Apple Mac then does the same with hers)
Commodore: Looks like you came prepared this time.
Apple Mac: Yupperoo.
Commodore: Please don’t say that ever again.
(Commodore gets shot in the screen with a bullet)
Commodore: Great…
(Apple Mac blows on her two pistols and looks triumphant as Commodore falls down, giving one last BSOD before dying. A crowd has now gathered around the two, and many are in shock)
Crowd member: She killed Commodore!
Crowd member 2: How is that even possible?
Crowd member 2’s son: Daddy?
Crowd member 2: Shut up son, you’ll get your breakfast once you do your chores.
Crowd member 2’s son: I haven’t eaten in a week.
Crowd member 3: May he rest in peace…
(Someone picks up the remains of Commodore and takes them away)
Apple Mac: I rule the downtown now, so ye better get used to it!
(The crowd cowers in fear at her)
Apple Mac: Huh. I expected something a bit more grand, but okay. I’ll take it.
(She walks away, and the crowd disassembles)
Karen: And from that day forward, nobody messed with Apple Mac.
Plankton: Dang. She’s one tough cookie.
Karen: She sure was. 
Plankton: I wonder what my ancestors were like.
Karen: Shelly, I actually heard a good story from your ancestry one time.
Plankton: Really? Then let’s hear it. I wanna know how diabolical my family was!
Karen: Okay then. (clears throat) Your ancestors sucked, the end.
Plankton: What?! But you didn’t even tell the whole story!
Karen: Fine, you wanna know the truth?
Plankton: Yes, I’m sure of it, honey.
Karen: If you say so.
(Flashback to when Dead Eye Plankton got squished at the end of Pest of the West)
Plankton: God fucking damn i-
(end)
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