The Gooiest of Squids

The Gooiest of Squids is the ninth episode of Season One in Welcome to Fancyland!. It was written by PrimitiveSponge129
==Plot==
Squidward accidentally unleashes a goo version of himself which causes mayhem in Fancyland.
==Transcript==
(Episode begins with a bird's eye view of a theater.)
(Cuts to Squidward walking towards the theater.)
Squidward: Finally! I can enjoy myself without those two morons annoying me the whole day!
(Squidward opens the theater doors.)
Squidward: I can't wait to play my clarinet in front of the people! I'll be a shining star! (His eyes turn into Patrick, who chuckles, before Squidward pouts and blinks, and his eyes turn to shining gold stars.)
(Suddenly, Squidward's watch beeps. He looks at it, and has a frightened look on his face.)
Squidward: Oh, shrimp! I forgot I had a dance recital today! But I have to perform as well! What should I do…? (He paces back and forth, before getting an idea.)
Squidward: Wait! I can get the French Scientist to make a clone of me, so I can be at both places at once! Squiddy, you are a genius.
(He runs away, but slams into a stop sign.)
Squidward: Maybe I'll just jog.
(Bubble transition to inside Ze French Scientist's lab, where he is working on a potion. Squidward walks up to him and begins to say something, but startles him and makes him spill the potion. It forms a monster which growls at Squidward and crawls away.)
Ze French Scientist: Barnacles! Pas encore!
Squidward: Uh, yeah. Whatever that means, I need your help.
Ze French Scientist: Ah, Calmar! What do you need?
Squidward: C-Calmar? Whatever. I need you to clone me so I can both perform and dance at once!
Ze French Scientist: I see. Hold still Calmar. I need to extract some DNA. (He takes out a chainsaw and saws Squidward's nose off.)
Squidward: You do realize I need that. Also, stop calling me "Calmar"!
Ze French Scientist: Well, what am I supposed to call you? "Thaddäus"? And don't worry about your nez. You'll get it back soon.
(He takes out a DNA machine and squeezes the nose until red, blue, and white liquids come out of it into a tube.)
Squidward: What are you doing to my nose?
Ze French Scientist: Extracting ze DNA.
(He continues to squeeze it until it's gray and dry, and slaps it back onto Squidward's face, where it puffs back up again.)
Squidward: That was odd. Are you done yet?
Ze French Scientist: Oui! All you have to do is press that button (He points to a red button on the machine.) and your clone will be finished!
Squidward: Oh joy! (He starts excitedly spamming the button.)
Ze French Scientist: Wait! Don't press ze button multiple times over and over! That'll be real bad!
Squidward: Oh, sorry! (He stops pressing the button.)
Ze French Scientist: I'm afraid it's too late. Your clone is going to be evil! Diabolical! Despicable! Dark…
(A black glob of goo with Squidward's nose on it pours out of the machine.)
Squidward: What the-?
(Ze French Scientist is screaming and running out of his lab repeating "ZE END IS HERE!!" anxiously.)
Squidward: Why is he so scared of this glob of paint? (He pokes it.)
Glob of Goo: auduajapejaiekwhyishesoscaredofthisglobofpaintvuxeedxdubuvwbeudbeeuanrjudqjvrusiqkrvdysa
(The glob of goo scoots over to the spilled potion and drinks it. After a while it becomes Squidward, but with red eyes, and a much darker shade of blue.
Squidgoo: You call me a glob of paint, I destroy your world! It's basic.
(Squidgoo runs into the wall and knocks it down.)
Squidward: Oh no! I need to get that slimy sockpuppet before he runs my life!
(Squidward runs after him.)
(Cut to SpongeBob brushing Gary, while Patrick is eating a golden Cybertruck.)
SpongeBob: So you see, Patrick. You gotta brush backwards, or else your snail will be mad.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Why is this car-shaped butter so hard and spiky? It hurts my teeth.
SpongeBob: Then why don't you stop eating it?
Patrick: I'll never give up a snack, no matter how painful it is!
(Squidgoo comes into view, cackling.)
SpongeBob: Oh, hey Squidward! Why are you so dark? Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?
(Squidgoo turns his hand into a brush and starts brushing Gary the wrong way, Gary starts going insane and claws SpongeBob into bits.)
SpongeBob: Even though I was clawed to bits, I consider it a bite! (Starts laughing.)
(Squidgoo forces the Cybertruck down Patrick's throat, and Patrick is shaped like a Cybertruck. Squidgoo walks off cackling.)
SpongeBob: Patrick! You're a Tesla!
Patrick: That's shocking.
(Squidward walks on screen and looks at Spongebob and Patrick.)
Squidward: Uh… SpongeBob? Why are you shredded tiny bits? And Patrick, why are you a Cybertruck?
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward! It's because you came in here and were all dark and stuff and brushed Gary the wrong way which led to him clawing me to bits and forced the butter down Pat-(Squidward slaps SpongeBob, which makes him quiet.)
Squidward: Then he must have gone this way!
(Squidward runs off screen.)
Patrick: Need a ride?
(Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab.)
(Mr. Krabs is standing outside rubbing a gold bar with his claws.)
Mr. Krabs: Oh, gold bar… How I adore you… Maybe I shouldn't do this out in public, but I still love you! (He hugs the gold bar.)
(Squidgoo comes in cackling.)
Mr. Krabs: Oh! Squidward! (He hides the gold bar and begins sweating.) What are you doing here? It's Sunday.
(Squidgoo takes out the gold bar from Mr. Krabs' back. Mr. Krabs screams.)
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! It's not what it looks like!
(Squidgoo's eyes turn into lasers, and he incinerates the gold bar. Mr. Krabs screams louder. Squidgoo then incinerates the Krusty Krab into gold dust and runs off.)
Mr. Krabs: NOOO!! ME RESTAURANT!! ME GOLD BAR!! (He starts bawling.)
(Squidward runs into frame.)
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, have you seen-
Mr. Krabs: MR. SQUIDWARD!! I SHOULD FIRE YOU FOR THIS!!
(He takes Squidward, spins him around, and throws him away.)
Mr. Krabs: But instead, I'll just comedically throw you. (He begins laughing, which slowly turns into crying.)
(Cut to New Gold City, a New York City-like town with lots of buildings and limos. Squidward lands on the road, where he is run over by a limo.)
Squidward: Ow! What am I, a bear rug?
(He picks himself up, and looks around before getting a surprised look on his face.)
(Cut to Squidgoo with a mallet arm destroying limos, laser eyes cutting down buildings, and throwing bombs. People are screaming and running away.)
Squidward: No! I won't let that happen!
(He charges at Squidgoo, but is noticed, and gets whacked away with the mallet arm into his house.)
Squidward: Huh, I'm in my house again? Wait, what's that sound?
(He looks out his window to see an angry mob standing outside his house with torches and pitchforks.)
Fish in Mob: There he is! That no good moron!
Other Fish: After what he did, he should be executed!
(Squidward yelps before looking at another section.)
Mr. Krabs: He killed the love of me life with his eyes! His eyes!!
Ze French Scientist: I probably shouldn't be here, but I am! Down with Calmar!
Squidward: That wasn't me! That was-(Squidward is cut out by Squidgoo picking up members of the mob and throwing them into Squidward's house.)
Fish in Mob: How'd we get up here? Eh, whatever. Let's defeat this lousy octopus once and for all!
(They all begin beating up Squidward as he screams, until Squidgoo breaks apart the mob, and kicks Squidward out the window. The mob begins cheering until they realize what happened.)
Fish in Mob: Wait… there's two of them?!
Other Fish: Maybe he didn't do anything wrong after all!
(They all angrily look at Squidgoo and begin beating him up, and kick him out the window. Squidward gets up, picks Squidgoo up, and continuously slams him into the ground until he's a slimy puddle, and runs him over with a lawnmower.)
Squidward: I'm glad that's over with, but I missed my recitals…
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Squidward.
Patrick: Yeah. (He takes out a bucket of sticks of butter and begins eating them one by one.)
Squidward: Well, at least I prevented that slimy döppelganger from destroying the world.
SpongeBob: Yeah. At least you did.
Patrick: Oops. (He accidentally drops a stick of butter into the ground, which makes a yellow somewhat slimy puddle.)
(Squidward begins screaming and runs away repeating "THE END IS HERE!!")
(The butter forms into Squidward.)
Butter Squidward: Hello there! (He holds out his hand.)
(The episode ends with Patrick eating Buttet Squidward's hand, and SpongeBob laughing.)
==Trivia==
*This is the first episode in WtF! to have transcript writing instead of stylized like a book.
*This was the first episode PrimitiveSponge129 made after his wikibreak.
Category:Transcripts
Category:Episode transcripts
Category:2020 Transcripts
Category:2020
Category:2020 Episodes
Category:Welcome to Fancyland!
Category:Episodes written by PrimitiveSponge129
Category:2020s