2014.05.18 - Pose Spidey!

Looks like another win for the Spider-Man column, as he just took down group of thugs attempting to rob a liquor store. As he finished gift wrapping them in webbing around a street lame and quipped, "You didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose you! Yeah that's just really tacky and dated bro. Later, have fun in jail!"
He saluted to the arriving police cars and swung away to continue his nightly patrol, wondering how much more crime there might be tonight and if he might have enough time to finish his paper. Ah the joys of superheroing and schooling!
"Dude, I can not believe he actually used that line," Superboy comments to no one in particular, hovering in the air high above. He'd just been out flying lazily thinking about the previous night and hoping he got a call from Pepper soon when he heard a familiar sound. The 'thwip' of webbing. At first he thought it might be Iron Spider but then he remembered he was in New York and not Gotham and looked around with super senses. He watched Spider-Man once he noticed him, not wanting to step in and cramp the guy's style. And when he started swinging away, Superboy speed after him. "Hey! Spider-Man! Wait up a sec, dude!"
With a flip in the air he turned to see one of the Super folks trailing above him he waved upside down, "Hey!"
He launched another line to the side of a tall skyscraper and perched on the side, resting one leg over the other as this was completely comfortable to him, "Superboy right? No hyphen. I like to remember these things, just ask the Daily Bugle."
Underneath his mask he rolled his eyes, and rested both hands behind his head, "How can Webhead be of service? Is the world about to end in 5 minutes?"
Superboy followed along, floating in the air nearby the Spider-Man. He took off his sunglasses and flashed a grin. "The one and only," he replied. "And sorry, I don't read that one. I stick to news sources that aren't run by ravin' lunatics," he replied. "Naw, man. World's not endin' yet. I was actually lookin' for ya. Ya know Hawkeye, right? The guy one? He said you might be able to help me with a project I'm workin' on."
He flipped Superboy a thumbs up, "Then you get 10 cool points in my book. I'm not exactly...popular in a good way in it. Yeah."
Yikes, hopefully none of the other heroes read that rag. He nodded once and looked about, "Yeah actually, just took down the Rhino with him about a week or so back. Cool guy. Apparently great at boats. What's the project?"
"Spider-bro, I get all the cool points," Kon declares as he puffs out his chest a bit. "Pretty much no one but Cap and Big Blue are popular in that book. And even then ha;f the time they rag on Supes for the alien thing," Kon rolls his eyes. "Good with boats, huh? Weird," he shrugs it off and reaches into his coat. He takes out something and offers it to Spider-Man. It's revealed to be a copy of the 2014 FDNY calendar and Kon shrugs. "Simple one really. I'm gettin' together a group of good-lookin' hero guys to pose for a calendar like that. And then we give the profits to the charities that help out people whenever the bad guys wreck their stuff and the insurance companies screw 'em over."
Underneath his mask his eyebrow raised very high and laughed once, "Okay so you...walk er-fly around with a calendar of sexy dudes in your pocket?"
He gave Superboy a quick look, "Wouldn't have guessed, good for you!"
He handed him back the calendar, "So, what you need help getting in touch with 'sexy' male superheoes? I know a guy who knows Mr. Fantastic. But I don't know if he's sexy sexy. He's science sexy. Not that a guy science sexy...guy"
He slapped at the side of his head, "Wow it's been a long day. Sorry."
Superboy shrugs. "When I'm tryin' to set up one of my own, yeah," Kon replies. He quirks a brow when Spidey gives him a look, unsure what he's trying to imply. He slips the calendar back into his coat when it's handed back and gives the web-slinging wallcrawler a look. "Okay, first up...Mr. Fantastic probably wouldn't cut it. Gettin' a little too gray. If ya can get the Human Torch, that'd be kick ass. But as for why I'm here, I'm askin' -you- if you'll pose for one of the months."
"Johnny yeah!" The lenses on Spidey's eyes somehow grow wide (hey maybe they are unstable molecules!) as he coughs a little, "Wait what? Me? Me. Really?"
He looked down at himself. Well he did look considerably better than his dweeb Parker days, but he wasn't particularly Mr. Confidence when it came to his looks. He rubbed at the back of his neck, "Why me? Even /if/ I agreed to get my Sexy Spider on, I couldn't take the mask off."
"Yeah, I wanted to ask Johnny Storm but I can't get in touch with the guy. And that stupid robot at the Baxtar Buildin' just says it can keep a message. No help otherwise," Superboy shakes his head. He's used to mask-eyes doing weird things. Robin and Batman make it work all the time. Somehow.
"Yes, really you," Kon replies with a smirk. "Why not you? You've got a good body and you're a well-known hero. You'd be great," he declares. "No problem there, Spider-dude. Not askin' for masks to come off you or anyone else that's agreed to help. Probably just your shirt. Pants are a maybe," he pauses a beat. "No askin' for you to go Spider-nude. I mean swappin' the tights out for a pair of shorts or a swim suit or somethin'. But that's only a maybe."
His eyes remain wide as he moves to stand on the side of the building and walks back and forth nervously as he muses out loud, "Well it's all for charity right? The average folks who, let's say the Rhino, again wrecks their homes and insurance isn't coming through. Hm."
He thinks about one girl in particular and that maybe, just maybe she'd think it was cool. When he did meet her, she and her sisters they did say he looked like he could be a model. Well then. "Ok I'm in. Pants stay on, no butts. Or butts. If the shot is tasteful."
Kon floats there casually, watching Spider-Man walk on the wall. He wonders what it's like to do that and eventually decides it's like flying sideways. "That's the deal, man. I got three good ones lined up. Talked to 'em ahead of time and they're psyched for the idea," he replies, listing three charties known for helping people that need it after supervillain attacks.
When Spidey agrees to be in, Kon pumps a fist in the air. "Sweet!" he declares. "And like I said, not askin' for nudes. That goes for butt-shots or full-frontal. I'm pretty sure Superman would kill me if there was any nudity in this," he said. "Most you'll be asked to lose in the top. Y'know...so people can enjoy a nice super-chest," he says, offering a hand. "Got a number or somethin' I can reach you at?"
Is he finally one of the cool super kids now? Or maybe just one of the 'sexy' ones. But more then likely all of the female superheroes will find him ridiculous and borderline annoying. "Yep!"
He lifted up his shirt to reveal pretty decent set of abs. But he wasn't showing off, Spider-Man reached into his hidden belt and grabbed a card with a spider symbol and a set of digits and handed it over. "And hey, if you ever want a team up I'm always good for that. Unless you just wanted me for my bod. Unless you swing that way. I don't swing that way. But I do a lot of swinging. Just not that kind. But I see the appeal. I mean hey If I went gay I'd ya know-"
He slapped at the side of his face, "Might need to swing home and catch some sleep."
Kon looked down at the revealed abs and gave a nod of approval. "Nice ones, Spider-dude. Just like I expected," he says. He accepted the card and slipped it into one of the pouches on his leg belt. From another he took out a similar card, this one with an S-shield and some numbers on it as well. He handed it over to Spidey with a faintly amused thought at how many heroes had cards like this. "Dude, relax," he laughs. "I don't have a label. Girls, guys...all good. It's what's inside that matters more. Don't matter right now though. I'd be good to team up sometime or even just hang out if ya want."
Was it obvious Spider-Man was an awkward super-nerd his entire life? However he admittedly was fanboying a bit, one of the Super fam just complimented him on his abs. Neat. Now that does not happen every day. He moved to slip the card into his belt and slid his shirt back in. He smirked underneath the mask, "Hey could always use another friend who understands this life."
He reached out to fist-bump with Superboy, "Until next time, bro. Stay super!"
He shot a web and began swinging towards home. He realized he just gave that the most awkward closure ever. But hey, all in all a good day!
Kon fistbumps Spidey carefully and grins. "I'll give ya a call when I get it all ready. See ya, Spidey," he offers. He watches the wall-crawler go, shaking his head slightly at the closing line before flying off. "Two more left..." he trails off with another grin.
Category:Log