MyPods and Boomsticks/Quotes

:[At the Mapple Store, an announcement comes over the speaker system.]
:Announcer: [on speakers] Attention, Mapple Universe. Prepare for a live announcement from Mapple founder and Chief Imaginative Officer Steve Mobbs.
:People in crowd: Steve Mobbs! -- He's a genius! -- He's like a god who knows what we want!
:Steve Mobbs: [appearing on giant video screen] Greetings! It is I, your insanely great leader, Steve Mobbs. I'm speaking to you from Mapple headquarters, deep below the sea, with an announcement that will completely change the way you look at everything. [The crowd gasps.] And that announcement is-
:[Seeing the opportunity for a prank, Bart plugs in a microphone and cuts into Mobbs' announcement. On the screen, Mobbs is now talking silently while Bart provides him with new material.]
:Bart: You're all losers! [The crowd gasps -- Huh?] You think you're cool because you buy a $500 phone with a picture of a fruit on it? Well, guess what? They cost $8 to make and I pee (or urinate) on every one!
:Crowd: Eeeeeewwwww! [They drop their MyPhones onto the floor.]
:Bart: [continuing] I have made a fortune off you chumps and I've invested it all in Microsoft. Now my boyfriend Bill Gates and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!
:[The crowd gasps again. Comic Book Guy, carrying a huge sledgehammer, charges the screen.]
:Comic Book Guy: Traitor! Your heart is blacker than your turtleneck!
:[Comic Book Guy hurls the sledgehammer into the screen, shattering it, and several Mapple Store employees wrestle him to the floor. Bart chuckles at the scene.]
:Mapple Store Employee: Who dares question the boss we fired ten years ago and then brought back?
:Lisa: [pointing accusingly at Bart] It was my brother, Bart!
:Mapple Store Employee: Flay him with your earbuds! Flay him, I say!
:[All the employees take their earbuds off, twirl them, and advance on Bart.]
----
:Marge: You're teaching Bart a terrible lesson of intolerance!
:Homer: I'm sorry. It's just so fun and easy to judge people based on religion.
----
:Kearney: What's your name, sweat stain?
:Bashir: Uh, Bashir?
:Kearney: 'Bash here?' I love a kid that comes with directions!
:Kearney: Okay Bash here, tell us where you live so we can punch you back there.
:[Kearney tries to punch Bashir. Bart blocks the punch with his skateboard]
:Kearney: Ow!
:Bart: Look guys, everyone's different. Jimbo, you're Christian, Dolph, you're Jewish, and Kearney, you're in that cult Moe started.
----
:[Beneath the sea, Lisa goes to Mapple headquarters to see Steve Mobbs about her MyTunes bill.]
:Employee: Mr. Mobbs, there's a surface dweller here to see you. MyTunes user JazzGal62.
:Steve Mobbs: Oh, Lisa Simpson. Send her in!
:[Lisa comes in.]
:Steve Mobbs: Lisa, it's insanely great to see you.
:Lisa: [pleading her case] Um, Mr. Mobbs, I sort of downloaded too many songs onto my MyPod and I don't have the money to pay for them. Do you think you could consider a reduced payment plan?
:Steve Mobbs: I'm sorry. I know our posters say 'Think differently,' but our real slogan is 'No refunds'.
:Lisa: [tearfully] Can't you open your Mapple menu and click on the compassion bar? Oh, please.
:[Steve Mobbs thinks for a moment.]
:Steve Mobbs: Lisa, how would you like to work for Mapple?
:Lisa: [perking up] Would I ever!
:[The scene shifts to a busy street corner. Lisa is wearing a MyPod costume and handing out flyers to passersby.]
:Lisa: [blandly and unenthusiastically] Think differently. Think differently. Think differently. [sighs] Think differently.
es:Mypods and Boomsticks/Frases