Rep Along With Me/Transcript

(The episode begins at Pesron’s house. He is testing a new shoe shine for his store on the kitchen floor.)
Pesron: My floor isn’t leather, but a shine is a shine! This’ll work great for- (Walks across the floor, but slips and falls.) OOF! Oww… maybe that isn’t the best shine.
(Candle Man bursts into Pesron’s house with muddy feet.)
Candle Man: Hey, Pesron!
Person: Hi…
Candle Man: You should totally come to my house today!
Pesron: Candle Man, I have work to do.
Candle Man: So?
(He walks across the shiny floor, making it all muddy. Pesron snaps.)
Pesron: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, CANDLE MAN! YOU’RE MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE!
Candle Man: Hmph. Rude.
(He walks out of the house. Theme song plays. Then, Pesron walks to Moose’s house. He rings the doorbell, and Moose answers the door.) 
Moose: Ey, Pesron!
Pesron: Hey, Moose. Listen, do you have (looks at a small empty bottle) “Coaxiumical Hydrogenation”?
Moose: Of course I do, why?
Pesron: I ran out of it while I was making shoe shiners for work.
Moose: Why didn’t you say so? Come on in!
(They walk into the laboratory. Moose goes up to a shelf and grabs a bottle that looks the same as the one Pesron is holding. Pesron holds out his hand, intending to take it.)
Moose: Hold on a second, R.P. Maybe the reason you’ve been failing to make the shiner is because you don’t have me at the wheel.
Pesron: Listen, Moose, you’re not qualified to deal with-
Moose: Of course I’m quantified!
Pesron: Qualified.
Moose: Whatever. Let me get this done for you. No harm in trying once.
Pesron: (Sighs.) Alright, But I’m gonna watch you do this. Shoe shiner is complex and very hard to make-
Moose: (Scoffs.) Big deal. I have plenty of stock and time!
(He grabs a broom and sweeps everything, big and small, off a big table. A coffee mug is heard breaking.)
Pesron: Shouldn’t you be careful with that stuff?
Moose: Nah.
(Cuts to him dumping a bunch of chemical ingredients on the table.)
Moose: I’m guessing you’re not following a recipe.
Pesron: No.
Moose: Well, then this is gonna be a piece of cake!
(Cuts to them hours later. Pesron is extremely tired and dirty and has chemicals on his apron. A small full bottle is in the center of the table.)
Moose: Tada! We finally did it!
Person: (Deadpan.) Yeah. Done.
Moose: Now to test it!
(Moose applies the shiner onto a shoe on the table. The shoe becomes fancier and shinier.)
Moose: Woohoohoo! Look at this shine!
(But then the shine eats away at the shoe and goes straight through it and the table.)
Pesron: Moose…
Moose: Well, at first you don’t succeed, try, try, aga-
(The shiner eats away at a table leg, and the table falls straight on Moose.)
Moose: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Pesron: I told myself this would be the one day I wouldn’t demonstrate my awesomeness, but if I must…
(He lifts up the grounded side of the table with ease. Moose gets out from underneath, but his legs are hurt.)
Moose: Do you have some kind of ointment, or-
Pesron: Maybe you’d like to invent that, too, huh?
(Moose accidentally kicks the shiner bottle, causing it to roll all the way to the wall. It spills on a rope tied to a hook, and begins eating away at the rope. Pesron’s eyes follow the rope all the way up to above the two.)
Pesron: Moose, what do you have tied up on the ceiling?
Moose: …Stuff?
Pesron: Like?
Moose: Uhhhh…
(The rope snaps, and a ceiling fan falls onto the table. Pesron still lifts it up with ease.)
Pesron: Why is your ceiling fan tied up to the ceiling?
Moose: Um…
(A piano falls onto the table. Pesron still lifts it up, albeit straining himself a bit.)
Pesron: And that?
Moose: About that…
(A bed onto the table. Pesron struggles to keep the table up.)
Pesron: Why did you tie a bed to the ceiling?!
Moose: You see…
(An ice cream truck falls onto the table. Pesron tries hard to keep it up.)
Pesron: I’m not even gonna ask.
(Moose watches as Pesron tries to keep the table up. He struggles… struggles some more… until finally… he lifts the whole thing up.)
Moose: What the…?
Person: Explain why this happened in the first place.
Moose: Me? Explain how you were able to do that!
Pesron: What, that? That’s easy.
Moose: Don’t act so arrogant.
Pesron: Well, I just train a lot! I’ve grown to be really strong!
Moose: Pfft, you act as if you can do everything but I could easily beat that!
Pesron: Wanna bet?
Moose: Yeah!
Pesron: Let’s do it then!
Moose: 2:30 at the park. Be there!
Pesron: Alright! 
(The scene changes to Wikia Park. TwoBrains is sitting on a bench.)
TwoBrains: Hm, they should be here by now.
(She hears crashes from far away. She goes to investigate the noise, and finds Moose yeeting cars across the block.)
TwoBrains: MOOSE!
Moose: WHAT?!
TwoBrains: WHAT THE VARP DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!
Moose: I’M PRACTICING!
TwoBrains: IT’S 2:29!
Moose: THEN I’LL SEE YOU IN A MINUTE! HA!
(He throws a car across town. Cuts to the Candle House. Everyone is sitting there in silence.)
Shaduck: Hey, ever wonder what happened to that magician?
Limefong: Well-
(The car crashes through the ceiling. Back to TwoBrains in the park. She checks her watch. The big hand is on the twenty-nine. It clicks to the thirty. Immediately, both Pesron and Moose show up.)
Pesron: I’m gonna lift so much, you’re gonna have to pick your jaw up from the floor!
Moose: Oh, yeah?! Well I’m gonna lift so much, the planet’s gonna move out of orbit!
TwoBrains: Alright, you two. Let’s get on with this. 
(TwoBrains gestures to two trucks, who tow in motorcycles.)
TwoBrains: I think, by this, you know what to do.
(Moose goes over and lifts a motorcycle.)
TwoBrains: No, the truck!
Moose: Oh!
(He lifts the truck.)
TwoBrains: Good, good. Now Pesron.
(Pesron walks over and lifts both the truck and the motorcycle.)
TwoBrains: Also good.
Moose: Oh, so we’re cheating now?
TwoBrains: Actually, no. You were supposed to lift both at the same time.
(Moose does it.)
TwoBrains: Finally!
Pesron: Be more specific next time.
TwoBrains: Okay, then. Anyway, for the next round.
Moose: You know what, I’m tired of rounds! I could lift a house if I wanted to! You couldn’t supply me that, could you?!
(TwoBrains moves in front of two houses brought in for the contest, blocking Moose’s view.)
TwoBrains: Noooooo…
Moose: I say we get rid of this stupid competition and do this ourselves, Pesron.
Pesron: Sure, but I surely will win.
Moose: Lose the trash talk and GET REPPING!
(They run off.)
TwoBrains: Well that’s the quickest one of these competitions has gone off the rails.
(They start via lifting three vans altogether.)
Moose: What an effortless start! I sure hope you’re not getting tired!
Pesron: Pfft… of course not. We just lifted ten times that!
(He rips a giant tree out of the ground and spins it.)
Pesron: How’s your helicopter tree?
(Moose looks around and spots a lamppost. He tears that out of the street and spins it.)
Moose: Just fine, thank you.
(Moose bends his lamppost and makes it into a donut-shaped post.)
Moose: Try this!
(Pesron tries, but the tree snaps in half.)
Pesron: Oops.
Moose: Haha!
Pesron: Alright then.
(He runs over and picks up a piano store.)
Pesron: Oof! TRY THIS!
Moose: So easy!
(Moose picks up a clothing store.)
Pesron: Heh! I could lift two of those with a single finger!
(He drops the store and runs down the street, stopping at a monster truck rally.)
Pesron: If you really want to prove you’re stronger than I am, then let’s see you bench press a dozen monster trucks!
(They both run in, the trucks swerving out of their way as they speed to the center of the arena.)
Moose: HEY, TRUCKERS! COME AND GET US!
(The monster trucks stop, turn towards the annoyances, and go full speed at them.)
Pesron: Alright, get ready to see awesomeness.
(Pesron stops the nearest truck with a single hand, then lifts it up and throws it out of the arena.)
Moose: I can do that with two!
(He stops two trucks, then hurls them at the bleachers, the crowd rushing to get out of the way of the wayward vehicles.)
Pesron: Two? Ameteur.
(He juggles four, then crushes them all together, the drivers getting out of the trucks just in time.)
Moose: Pfft, I can hold six for a full minute! Watch.
(Moose stops six trucks, and lifts them up. He holds them for a minute without faltering, then drops them all.)
Pesron: Oh, yeah?
(Cuts to the Candle House. The Candle Friends have just gotten the car out of their house, when the monster truck thrown across town lands in it.)
Candle Man: (Sarcastic tone.) Great. Now we have to get this out too.
Mystic: Where are these things coming from, anyway?
Candle Man: I don’t know.
Limefong: Maybe we should check the monster truck rally.
(Everyone stares at him blankly and blinks.)
Limefong: The only place in town with monster trucks?
(Everyone blinks again.)
Limefong: Just follow me.
Candle Man: Alright, whatever.
(Limefong gets up.)
Limefong: Good.
(Scene cuts to them in the Candle Car, the route to the possible source of destruction. Limefong is the one driving.)
Candle Man: This better not be the Spammers’ doing.
Mystic: Let’s be honest. It probably is.
(It is revealed they drove straight into the arena, because suddenly, a truck almost smashes straight into the car. Everyone screams.)
Candle Man: Wait, who’s doing this?
(All of the sudden, the car is picked up. Everyone screams again.)
Shaduck: WHAT’S GOING ON OUT THERE?!
(Limefong looks out the window and sees Moose has picked the car.)
Mystic: MOOSE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Pesron: MOOSE, THOSE ARE OUR FRIENDS!
Moose: They are? 
Everyone: YES!
Moose: Whoops! 
(He puts down the car with a crash.)
Candle Man: WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA MOOSE?!
Moose: Are you blind? Pesron and I are having a contest!
Candle Man: That certainly explains the CARS CRASHING THROUGH OUR HOUSE!
Limefong: Didn’t TwoBrains invent a civilized contest?
Pesron: It was boring and he was losing!
Moose: I WAS NOT!
Shaduck: Well, stop this!
Candle Man: Or else we’ll stop this ourselves!
(Pesron and Moose look at each other for a second, then, together, they throw the car across town, taking the Main 4 with them.)
Candle Man: DARN YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUuuuuu…
(A crash is heard as a flock of birds fly away.)
Moose: Now with them out of the way…shall we continue?
Pesron: Yes, we shall.
(The scene cuts back to the Candle Friends, where they have crashed into a streetlight.)
Candle Man: This is out of hand. They can’t wreck the town like this.
Shaduck: Relax, Candle Man. What’s the worst that can happen?
(Cuts to the entire town wrecked, with Pesron and Moose throwing things everywhere and causing more destruction.)
Candle Man: That can happen.
(Suddenly, a fire hydrant flies across the screen, spraying water all over the Candle Friends.)
Mystic: I’m really starting to hate those two weirdos.
Limefong: Well, they’re friends, so we have to help them stop!
Shaduck: Agreed. 
(They get into the Candle Car. Candle Man tries to start it, but it refuses to start, making a grinding sound.)
Candle Man: OH, COME ON! WHY WON’T YOU START?!
Shaduck: I think that’s the least of the car’s problems right now.
(The car literally falls apart into pieces, everyone still in their seats yet surrounded by literal scrap metal.)
Candle Man: AAAARGH!
(Meanwhile, TwoBrains watches the destruction from the bench in the park. Kellie and Baghead run to her.)
Kellie: What’s going on?!
TwoBrains: Pesron and Moose are smashing everything.
Baghead: WELL, WHY AREN’T YOU STOPPING THEM?!
TwoBrains: Actually, I tried to stop them before it happened. It was a civilized competition, but then they “got bored”!
Kellie: That doesn’t answer his question.
TwoBrains: Well, I learned that if you just sit back and watch the destruction, sooner or later it all goes back to normal.
Baghead: So we should just watch?
TwoBrains: Yep.
Kellie: Alright.
(They sit down.)
TwoBrain: TwoBrains, the popcorn is ready.
TwoBrains: Good. Hit me!
(Popcorn comes out of her nose into a popcorn container.)
Baghead: Just so you know, I like mine buttered.
TwoBrains: Gotcha.
(Butter comes out of her nose.)
Baghead: On second thought, I may have lost my appetite.
(Cuts to Pesron and Moose.)
Moose: Are you ready to give up yet, R.P?
Pesron: No, I can go on for hours!
Moose: We’ll see about that!
(Pesron follows Moose to the Gameopolis Wall.)
Guard: HALT! WE NEED TO SEE YOUR IDENTIFICA-
(Moose rips the wall out of the ground and throws it into Gameopolis.)
Guard: WAAAA!
Pesron: What, we’re gonna smash Gameopolis now?
Moose: No, no. But look.
(Pesron sees what Moose is looking at: a crack in the ground that the wall goes into.)
Moose: If you really are so strong, how about you lift WIKIA?!
Pesron: Let’s see you do it first. 
Moose: Alright then.
(Moose puts his hooves underneath the crack, then begins actually lifting the town up. Meanwhile, the Candle Friends realize the ground is shaking.)
Mystic: wWwWHAT’S goING ONnnnnN?!
Shaduck: WE’RrrErrE SHAKING! ISN’T IT OBVIiIiIOUS?! THAT EVENT THING LITERALLY JUST TOLD US!
(Candle Man points offscreen while trying to keep his balance.)
Candle Man: LOoOoOOOK!
(The camera moves to show Moose trying to lift up Wikia.)
Mystic: iiiiiIS HE CrCRcrAZY?!
Limefong: THEeEeERE’S TOO MUCH WEIIIIGHT IN WIKIKIKIA!!! IT’LL SNAP IN TWOoOoO!!!
(Candle Man nearly falls over but Mystic catches him.)
Candle Man: Thhannk you. BUT WEWEWE STILL NEED TO STSTSTSTOPOP THEeM!!!
Shaduck: ToOoO LATE!!!
(Moose has lifted the town up enough that it is slanted. The Candle Friends slide through the town, Candle Man getting a huge rug burn.)
Candle Friends: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(…But then Moose puts the town back down, causing the Candle Friends to stop in the Wikia suburbs.)
Shaduck: Phew! Thank goodness nothing got hurt!
Candle Man: Speak for yourself.
(He gets up and his back is very pink and scraped up.)
Mystic: Maybe you should wear clo-
Candle Man: I WILL NOT WEAR CLOTHES!!!
(Meanwhile, at the border…)
Pesron: I dare you to do reps with the town!
Moose: Dare taken!
(The town starts slanting again.)
Limefong: NOT AGAIN!!!
(They start sliding through the streets, but they manage to grab onto a lamppost.)
Limefong: HOLD ON!
Candle Friends: AHHHHHHH!
(…But then the town is put back down.)
Candle Man: It’s obvious we cannot continue on foot.
Shaduck: But we can’t use a car either!
Mystic: SO WHAT DO WE USE?!
(The Candle Friends turn around and see that they grabbed onto a lamppost outside of Baghead’s house. Cuts directly to them trying to fly his ship, Candle Man steering and the others holding on for dear life.)
Mystic: WHY CAN’T BAGHEAD HAVE A SHIP FOR MORE THAN ONE PERSON!
Shaduck: Uh, are you SERIOUS?!
Limefong: STOP FIGHTING AND LOOK!
(They all look ahead and see the subject of Limefong’s attention: Moose doing reps with the town.)
Candle Man: IT’S THEM!
Mystic: THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!
(They land the ship in Gameopolis and run over to Pesron and Moose.)
Shaduck: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!
Pesron: Uh, having a contest!
Candle Man: THIS ISN’T A CONTEST! IT’S SHEER DESTRUCTION!
Moose: Relax! Nothing really bad has happened ye-
(A large snap is heard.)
Mystic: What just happened?
(Cuts to an overhead view of the town. Just as Limefong had said, the town has almost entirely snapped in two.)
Limefong: Told ya.
Shaduck: Moose, Pesron, that’s enough. Stop this before something really bad happens!
Moose: First, Pesron’s gotta lift the town and throw it!
Everyone: WHAT?!
Pesron: I may be able to do that, BUT ARE YOU INSANE?!
Moose: You have to prove you’re better than me!
Candle Man: PESRON, DON’T!
Pesron: Moose is right! I’m not losing this competition because some wussies don’t want me to lift something Moose has already lifted.
Candle Friends: PESRON!
(Pesron takes a few deep breaths, then starts lifting the town.)
Pesron: RRRRRRRRRRRRR…
(He gets a better hold over the town, and he starts going underneath to hold it over his head.)
Pesron: RRRRRRRRRRRRR…
(He gets it over his head.)
Pesron: RRRRRRRRRRRRRAA!
(The Candle Friends look at Pesron’s actions in worry.)
Moose: …ALRIGHT YOU WIN! JUST PUT DOWN THE TOWN!
Pesron: NO! I’VE DONE TOO MUCH TO QUIT NOW! HELP ME DO THIS, MOOSE!
(Moose hesitates, but then he also goes underneath, lifting it up with him. However, when Moose went underneath, the town began to slant again.)
Pesron: On three!
Moose: ONE…
(The homemade shoe shiner bottle rolls off the town and hits Gameopolis’ ground.)
Pesron: TWO…
(A large rock also tumbles off the town, hitting the bottle and squashing it.)
Moose and Pesron: THREE!
(They begin to throw the town, but the contents of the bottle spew out and onto Moose and Pesron, eating through their biceps.)
Moose and Pesron: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(The town, now not supported by Moose and Pesron’s muscle, squashes the two fallen bodybuilders. Cuts to TwoBrains, Baghead, and Kellie on the bench.)
TwoBrains: Told you things would go back to normal.
(Fades to the town being rebuilt and back to normal. The camera focuses on a hospital, then cuts to the inside. Pesron and Moose are entirely bandaged save for their eyes.)
Doctor: You two are lucky to be alive. If these four didn’t bring you in, you’d probably be pancakes for the mantle to digest.
(The Candle Friends walk in.)
Shaduck: You guys were totally stupid there.
Pesron: Mmph mmf.
Mystic: You’re lucky no one is pressing charges.
Pesron and Moose: Mmph mmf.
Limefong: Now, did you learn your lesson?
(Pesron and Moose turn to look at each other, then nod.)
Candle Man: Good. Now, unfortunately, that shiner destroyed your biceps, so you’ll have to work from the bottom up.
Shaduck: And you still need to give us the money you owe us for the damage in our house.
Candle Man: But hey, it’ll be fun to start again, right?
(Pesron and Moose look at each other worriedly, then struggle to reach the plug to their life support. They cannot, so they rest and sigh. Episode ends.)
Category:Transcripts
Category:Season 1
Category:Candle Man & Friends