Transcripts/The Mysterious Mare Do Well

:[ponies chattering]
:Scootaloo: Attention, everypony! Attention! The official Rainbow Dash Fan Club will come to order. Let's get right down to our first order of business. I motion that Rainbow Dash be declared the most awesome pony in Ponyville.
:Snails: I second the motion, and might I add that if you looked up the word 'awesome' in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Rainbow Dash.
:[ponies agreeing]
:Snips: I object!
:[ponies gasp]
:Snips: I think the word 'awesome' is played out! Rainbow Dash deserves better! I motion that we declare her the most stupendous pony!
:Scootaloo: 'Stupendous'? Is that the best you've got? I motion that we declare her... wonderiffic!
:Snips: Astonishing!
:Scootaloo: Breathtaking!
:Snips: Astounding!
:Scootaloo: Bedazzling!
:Rainbow Dash: What about super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing?
:[ponies agreeing]
:Scootaloo: All in favor of declaring Rainbow Dash the most 'super-ultra-extra-uh-whatever you said' pony in all of Ponyville, say 'aye'!
:Fan club: Aye! [cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: [giggles]
:
:Rainbow Dash: [sigh] What a beautiful day. There's nothing like a dip in the clouds to make a Pegasus feel super relaxed.
:Aura: Help! Help! Help! Help!
:Rainbow Dash: Looks like my sky swim will have to wait! I'm Rainbow Dash, and I'm here to rescue you!
:[ponies cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: Wow. What's with this crowd? Uh, thanks, everypony. It was really no big deal.
:Aura: To me it was! You're my hero, Rainbow Dash!
:[ponies cheering]
:Scootaloo: That Rainbow Dash sure is something.
:Snips and Snails: Something special.
:"Millie": [screams]
:Cream Puff: [crying]
:[ponies cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Oh no! There's something wrong with the baby!
:[crowd gasps]
:Rainbow Dash: She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!
:[ponies cheering]
:[cameras clicking]
:Scootaloo: There just aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe Rainbow Dash's awesomeness.
:Twilight Sparkle: I can think of a few new words.
:Applejack: And I bet 'modest' is not one of them.
:[ponies cheering]
:Twilight Sparkle: No, but she is kinda awesome.
:[elderly ponies chattering]
:[splintering wood]
:Rainbow Dash: Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is here!
:[elderly ponies screaming]
:[ponies cheering]
:Pony 1: We'd be lost without you!
:Pony 2: You're our hero, Rainbow Dash!
:Crowd: Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!
:Rainbow Dash: I can't hear you!
:Crowd: Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!
:Twilight Sparkle: Call me silly, but I think this whole hero thing might be going to Rainbow Dash's head.
:Pinkie Pie: You may be right...silly.
:Rainbow Dash: And then I zoomed into the well. I knew it would be dark and dangerous, but I didn't let that stop me. Danger's my middle name. Rainbow 'Danger' Dash. Thinking back on it, I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day.
:Spike: That day.
:Applejack: Awesomely heroic that day and awesomely arrogant ever since.
:Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hm.
:Rainbow Dash: Hey, Applejack. How'd you like to be immortalized as my friend?
:Applejack: Immorta-what?
:[camera clicking]
:Twilight Sparkle: Are you taking notes?
:Spike: Yup! I've been hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself, to write her autobiography!
:Twilight Sparkle: Umm, autobiographies are supposed to be written by the pony they are about.
:Rainbow Dash: Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill ponies. But I'm far too busy saving lives to stop and write. That's why I hired Spike as my ghost writer.
:Pinkie Pie: [yelps] Spike's a ghost!
:Rainbow Dash: ...Anyway. Spike here writes down everything I say. Don't you, Spike?
:Spike: Don't... you... Spike. Got it!
:Rainbow Dash: This way, I can stay focused on performing those acts of bravery that nopony else has the guts to perform. Yep, it takes guts. But it also takes brains. And sometimes a big lunch and a nap. Being a hero is surely not for everypony, but I'm up to the challenge.
:Rainbow Dash: [grunts] There you go.
:"Lemon Daze": Someday, I wanna be just like you!
:Rainbow Dash: Aim high, kid, but don't aim for the impossible.
:Cherry Berry: [screams]
:[ponies gasp]
:Cherry Berry: Help! Help!
:Snips: Uh, don't you think you should go and help?
:Rainbow Dash: [muffled] Yeah, yeah. I've got a good ten seconds to spare. Just a couple more.
:Spike: The tension is unbearable. Will Rainbow Dash make it on time?
:[ponies cheering]
:Pony: Holy turnips, that pony came outta nowhere!
:Daisy: I've never seen such bravery in all my life!
:Mayor Mare: That's right! Ponyville has a new hero. A mysterious mare that has done well by our fair city today. I dub this new masked hero 'The Mysterious Mare Do Well'!
:[ponies cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: Mare Do Well, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Ponyville's only got room for one hero, and that hero is me!
:[ponies screaming]
:Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow–
:Globe Trotter: Excuse me, uh, do you think you could skip your catchphrase and just hurry up and save us?!
:Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine! Picky, picky. Whoaaaa! Aah!
:[ponies cheering]
:"Wisp": [kissing] Oh, thank you, Mare Do We— e...
:Rainbow Dash: I can't believe it. Mare Do Well is stronger than me? Well, a hero is more than just muscle, and she's gonna learn that the hard way.
:[jackhammer and drills]
:Crafty Crate: Huh?
:Rainbow Dash: Huh? Never fear, your friendly neighbor– Whoa!
:[building creaking]
:[crashing]
:Rainbow Dash: Never fear– Uh! I'm coming! Hold on! Whoa!
:Jack Hammer: Look!
:Crafty Crate: [cheers]
:"Jim Beam": Look out for the– Watch out for falling– On your left! Agh! Your other left!
:Rainbow Dash: Here ya go, safe and sound.
:[crash]
:"Jim Beam": [faints]
:Rainbow Dash: Well, Mare Do Well, or should I call you Mare Do Slow? You're gonna have to pick up the pace if you wanna compete with me, 'cause I move like lightning.
:"Rivet": Actually, she saved all of us! We owe her our lives!
:[ponies cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: [growls] Okay. She's strong, fast, and somehow knows what's gonna happen ahead of time. I've gotta step up my game.
:[water rushing]
:Rainbow Dash: [gasps] If the dam breaks, the whole town will be flooded! Looks like Ponyville needs a hero! Easy peasy.
:[stone cracking]
:Rainbow Dash: My game is officially back on. If only somepony were here to pat me on the back. Eh, guess I'll have to do it myself– [yelps] [screams] Help! [spits] Help! You?! I suppose you want me to thank– You gotta be kidding me...
:[ponies cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: Lemme get this straight. She's strong, she's agile, and she's magic? Ughhh! How do I compete with that? Wait a minute. I do have a leg up on her. And that leg is... wings! Hah! Take that, Mare Do Well!
:[ponies cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: Oh, for the love of Pete.
:Applejack: Gotta hand it to the girl, that Mare Do Well sure can pull off some pretty heroic feats.
:Twilight Sparkle: I must say, I was impressed by that spell she used to fix the dam. Seems like something like that would take quite a bit of study.
:Rainbow Dash: [growls]
:Fluttershy: She really cares about everypony's safety.
:Rarity: Have you seen her costume? It is to die for! If you ask me she's a hero of fashion.
:Applejack: And she's modest and humble. She lets her actions speak for themselves. Gotta admire that.
:Rainbow Dash: I don't have to admire that! I don't think she's all that great!
:Spike: She's... great.
:Rainbow Dash: I didn't say that.
:Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like somepony's jealous.
:Rainbow Dash: Who, me?
:Spike: Rainbow Dash is jealous.
:Rainbow Dash: Don't write that, Spike!
:[others laughing]
:Spike: Correction: Rainbow Dash is very jealous.
:Rainbow Dash: Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good– no, that I'm a better hero than Mare Do Well!
:Rainbow Dash: Huh, no sign of trouble here. Darn it. Buses and baby carriages are always careening down this hill. Where is an out-of-control vehicle when you need one?! Rrgh, there are absolutely no freak natural disasters going on anywhere! How am I supposed to prove myself when everything's so normal and safe? [gasps] Hold it right there, Granny Smith! You don't have to pretend with me. I can see that you're in way over your head here.
:Granny Smith: Eh, what's that?
:Rainbow Dash: You're putting on a brave face, I get it. But you don't have to anymore. I'll help you cross the street!
:Granny Smith: [grunting] Actually, I can cross the street just fine!
:Rainbow Dash: Don't worry! You're in extremely... capable... hooves!
:Granny Smith: [panicked grunts] Back off!
:Rainbow Dash: [pants] Here we are! Safe and sound. A good and heroic citizen deserves a little recognition, don't you think?
:Granny Smith: I didn't wanna cross the street in the first place! [complaining and squeaking]
:Amethyst Star: [grunting]
:Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Somepony's in trouble!
:Amethyst Star: [grunting]
:Rainbow Dash: You'd better let me handle this, ma'am! For your own safety, I must ask you to stand back!
:Amethyst Star: Oh, brother.
:Rainbow Dash: [cracks neck] [grunting] Ta-da!
:Amethyst Star: Uh... thanks.
:Rainbow Dash: How would you describe what I just did? Would you say I was amazing?
:Amethyst Star: Aren't you milking this a bit?
:Rainbow Dash: Please, just answer the question! Was I, or was I not, amazing?
:Amethyst Star: Oh, you're amazing alright. An amazingly–
:Rainbow Dash: Oh, look!
:[lawnmower rattling]
:Rainbow Dash: Another great feat of heroism! I have just saved that grass!
:"Pine Breeze": From what?
:Rainbow Dash: From weeds! Weeds that were attempting to eat this lawn!
:Liza Doolots: Lame...
:Pony: Whatever.
:Rainbow Dash: Aww, who am I kidding?
:[thundercloud rumbles throughout]
:Rainbow Dash: All anypony talks about is Mare Do Well this and Mare Do Well that! What about me? How could everypony forget about me so easily? I mean... have I changed? Same sleek body. Same flowing mane. Same spectacular hooves. Nope, I'm still awesome. They're wrong. But... then... why am I all alone? I hate being all alone.
:Scootaloo: Hey, Rainbow Dash!
:Rainbow Dash: I knew it! No need to apologize, squirt. Anypony could make that mistake.
:Scootaloo: Mistake? What mistake?
:Rainbow Dash: Wait a minute. Why are you here?
:Scootaloo: To invite you to join us! We're heading off to the thank you parade for Ponyville's greatest hero, Mare Do Well.
:Rainbow Dash: No! No way! Can't you see I-I wanna be alone? I love being alone.
:Scootaloo: Oh, okay. See you later then.
:Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right, like I'm gonna thank her. [mockingly] Thank you, Mare Do Well, whoever you are, for ruining e– [normal] Hey, squirt! Wait up!
:Mayor Mare: Welcome to Ponyville's first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city's greatest hero, the mysterious Mare Do Well!
:[ponies cheering]
:Rainbow Dash: The mysterious Mare Do Well, huh?
:[ponies gasp]
:Rainbow Dash: So what are you hiding? Let's see how mysterious you are without that mask!
:Mare Do Well: [whistles]
:Rainbow Dash: What the hay?
:Mare Do Well: [whistles]
:Rainbow Dash: Grrr... I got you now! Alright, Miss Mysterious! Mystery... solved! [yelps] P-p-p-p- Pinkie?! Whudda- hud-d-duh- hud-d-duh- huh?! Twilight?! Applejack?! There were three of you?!
:Twilight Sparkle: Yup, we all played Mare Do Well at different times.
:Applejack: I stopped the carriage bus with these babies, Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee.
:Pinkie Pie: I saved the construction workers with my Pinkie Sense. [twitches]
:[flowerpot shatters]
:Cherry Berry: Sorry!
:Pinkie Pie: It's alright.
:Twilight Sparkle: And I used my magic to fix the dam.
:Fluttershy: Ooh, ooh! And I did the flyby afterwards.
:Rarity: I made the costumes. Fabulous if I do say so myself!
:Rainbow Dash: I don't understand. Why? Don't you want me to be a hero?
:Twilight Sparkle: Of course we want you to be a hero.
:Applejack: But a real hero doesn't brag.
:Rainbow Dash: Uh, I guess I did start to brag a little.
:Other main cast: A little?!
:Rainbow Dash: Okay, a lot.
:Twilight Sparkle: Celebrating your accomplishments is natural. But...
:Applejack: ...Rubbin' them in everypony's face is not.
:Pinkie Pie: Yeah, the only thing that should be rubbed in anypony's face is chocolate cake. [slurp]
:Applejack: I think we're getting off topic here.
:Twilight Sparkle: What we're trying to say is, it's great to be really good at something, but it's important to act with grace and humility.
:Rainbow Dash: Ohhhh. That makes loads more sense. Yeah. You're right. And I guess I should've also acted with grace and humility when others outshine me. Like Mare Do Well.
:Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like you've got a letter to write to Princess Celestia.
:Spike: Already got it covered. As your ghost writer, I've already penned a letter to the Princess.
:Rainbow Dash: That's nice of you, Spike, but I really wanna write this letter myself.
:Spike: Aww, come on, I wrote the whole thing already!
:Rainbow Dash: Okay, let's hear it.
:Spike: [clears throat] Dear Princess Cel-
:Rainbow Dash: Look out! It's a real ghost!
:Pinkie Pie and Spike: [yelping and screaming]
:Others: [laughing]
:[music]
:[credits]
ar:نسخ/فاعلة الخير الغامضة
de:Transkripte/Rainbow Dash, die Retterin
es:Transcripciones/La Misteriosa Yegua Bienhechora
pl:Transkrypty/Tajemnicza Wybawicielka
pt:Transcrições/A Misteriosa Égua do Bem
ru:Стенограммы/Таинственный защитник