Episode 602: Jack Black transcript

==Guest Star's Dressing Room==
Scooter: (knocking on the Guest Star's dressing room door 5 times) "(Guest Star's Name), oh, (Guest Star's name)? 14 2nds 'til curtain, Mr. (Guest Star's Last Name).
Guest Star: "Thank you, Scooter, I would like to do the show with all of you, just as soon as I'm done tying my sneakers."
The Guest Star finishes tying his sneakers.........
Guest Star: "There, now I won't trip and fall over everything else in the theater."
===The Muppet Show theme song (seasons 6, 7 and 8 style)===
Kermit: "It's 'The Muppet Show'........with our very special guest star, Mr. Jack Black......yaaaay!"
[The Muppet Show Theme Music Playing In Background]
Female Muppet Characters: It's time to play the music.......it's time to light the lights......it's time to meet the Muppets on 'The Muppet Show' tonight
Male Muppet Characters: it's time to put on make up.......it's time to dress up right........it's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight
Waldorf: why do we always come here?
Statler: I guess we'll never know
Waldorf: it's like some kind of torture
Statler: to have to watch the show
Kermit: and now let's get things started
Miss Piggy: why don't you get things started
Kermit + other Muppet characters: it's time to get things started on the most sensantional inspirational celebrational Muppet-ational this is what we call The Muppet Show......
Gonzo plays Pop Goes the Weasel on his trumpet
===Opening Musical # Introduction===
Kermit: "Thank you everybody for coming here, and welcome all to The Muppet Show, tonight's special guest star is 1 of the very talented comedian movie actors and musicians, Mr. (Guest Star's Name), but 1st, there's a very important announcement that Scooter needs to make."
Scooter: "There's an emergency crisis going on around the Muppet Theater, we all know that everybody else is being turned into stone statues by a powerful magic curse."
Kermit: "Good grief, even I don't wanna be turned into a stone statue."
Kermit: "Alright, ladies and gentlemen, here's Rizzo and Walter performing I Want to Break Free."
===Song Opening===
[Music Playing In Background]
Rizzo: I want to break free, I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
you're so self satisfied I don't need ya
I want to break free
God knows, God knows I want to break free
[Music Plays In Background]
Walter: I've fallen in love, I've fallen in love for the 1st time, and this time I know it's for real, I've fallen in love, yeah
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love
Rizzo: It's strange, but it's true I kin't git ova' de way ya' love me likes ya' do, but ah' gots' ta be sho' when ah' walk out dat doo' oh how ah' want to break free, baby oh how ah' wanna break free, oh how ah' wanna break free.
[Music Continues Playing In Background]
Walter: but life still goes on, I can't get used to, living without, living without, living without you by my side, I don't want to live alone, hey, God knows, got to make it on my own, so baby can't you see God knows, God knows, God knows I want to break free..........
Cut to Statler and Waldorf in their balcony location..........
Waldorf: "Hey, Statler, have you ever tried to break free to go anyplace before?"
Statler: "No, but it's a good thing I'm in my nice comfortable chair."
Waldorf: "What makes you say that?
Statler: "Couldn't get more comfortable!"
Statler and Waldorf: [Laughing Uncontrollably In Unison Again]
Cut to Kermit in his office...........
Kermit: "Alright, everybody, the Swedish Chef is next, the Swedish Chef is next onstage."
Swedish Chef: "Reedy vhenefer yuoo ere-a, Kermeet."
===The Swedish Chef Sketch #: Bacon Spinach Quiche===
Tuneeght, ve-a're-a mekeeng becun speenech qooeeche-a.
Category:The Muppet Show season 6 transcripts