Swimming of Pity/transcript

Previous Episode: My Dear Knot Leni
Next Episode: The Gooblynnfather
== Transcript ==
Episode Aired: August 12, 2023
Episode Copyrighted: 2023
This episode is rated TV-Y7.
The episode begins with Squidward floating with his face down in a swimming pool.
Squidward Tentacles: *narrates* Well, here I am floating face down in a swimming pool. I always wanted a pool, and in the end, I got one. How did I get here? Well, it all started yesterday.
The scene flashes back to yesterday in the backyards of SpongeBob's, Squidward's, and Patrick's houses, with Lincoln digging a square hole and Squidward bathing in the sun. Squidward takes a sip of his lemonade and exhales with his mouth until dirt projectiles into it.
Squidward Tentacles: *coughs up the dirt and growls angrily as he walks towards Lincoln* Linc-
As Lincoln continues digging up the hole, dirt lands into Squidward's mouth again and spits it out.
Lincoln Loud: *stops digging*
Squidward Tentacles: Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: *throws the shovel which Squidward away*
Squidward is heard groaning.
Lincoln Loud: *pops out of the hole*
Squidward is now seen on the ground with the shovel on his face.
Lincoln Loud: Uh, Squidward, did you say something?
Squidward Tentacles: *removes the shovel from my face, giving me a new mold of my head* Why are you digging up SpongeBob's yard?
Lincoln Loud: I'm putting in a pool!
Squidward Tentacles: *my head reverts back to the original shape* A pool? *grumbles*
As he walks to it and makes a disgusted sound at the hole.
Lincoln Loud: *slides up next to Squidward* Mmm-hmmm! And I'm going to invite *rubs my gloves on Squidward's head, leaving dirt behind* his favorite next-door neighbor as soon as it's ready!
Squidward Tentacles: Get off me! *wipes the dirt off my face* I wouldn't be caught dead in your muddy little bacteria hole! *walks away* I only swim in sophisticated pools.
Lincoln Loud: *waves at Squidward* Well if you change your mind, It's almost done!
Squidward Tentacles: *lays back at my lounge chair* Ha. Yeah, sure. *puts on my sunglasses*
As he sighs happily, pours himself a glass of lemonade and drinks some of it.
Lincoln Loud: It's done!
Squidward Tentacles: *takes off my sunglasses looking annoyed*
A shot of the pool is shown, complete with a diving board, two lounge chairs, two torches, three palm trees, a rubber horse, a fountain, and a beach ball.
Squidward Tentacles: *spits out my lemonade* What the? Why, it's beautiful... *squeezes my glass of lemonade in frustration and growls* Why does he get to have a pool? If anyone around here deserves a pool, it's me!
Patrick Star: Cannonball! *dives off the diving board and lands into the pool*
Patrick's weight was so strong it causes all off the water in the pool to turn into a wave which crashes on Squidward, sending him inside his house and the water clears.
Squidward Tentacles: *walks outside angrily*
Ashley Roberts: *in the pool with a ring float* Hey, Squidward! *points to the pool with both of my index fingers* Come join us in the pool!
Leni Loud: *emerges head from the pool* Quick, while the water's still wet!
Squidward Tentacles: *growls*
As his head inflates and deflates.
Squidward Tentacles: Pool! *growls and slams the door in anger*
Slide transition cuts to the next scene with Squidward climbing a ladder setting up a giant canvas.
Squidward Tentacles: *places the canvas on the wood bench* Forget the pool, forget the pool, forget *starts painting on the canvas* the pool! *hums happily*
He then becomes annoyed that what he painted was a pool shaped like his head.
Squidward Tentacles: What the? Pool.
SpongeBob, Patrick, Yellow, Red, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley are heard laughing, which startles Squidward, causing him to lose his balance with the ladder and fall through the canvas, creating a hole.
Squidward Tentacles: *peeks my head through the hole* Pool! *looks at my window, then opens it to yell at SpongeBob, Patrick, Yellow, Red, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley* Keep quiet, ya chlorinated clods!
Patrick Star: Cannonball!
A cannon shot is heard, then a cannonball hits Squidward's face.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *heard off-screen* Uh oh!
Squidward Tentacles: *gets up from the floor and the cannonball lands on my foot* Ouch! *hops to my AC*
As he holds his foot.
Squidward Tentacles: Who needs a soggy old pool when you have the luxury and elegance of indoor air conditioning. *kisses the air conditioner*
It breaks.
Squidward Tentacles: *quickly starts sweating and looks at the viewers* Phew! It's a little hot... *looks at my clock which melts due to the heat* Huh?
The sun transitions into the moon.
Patrick Star: *leaves SpongeBob's house wet* That is one cool pool, ma fool! Ah-see you tomorrow, *starts swimming away* SpongeBob.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *waves* Swim safely, Patrick! Meet you at the pool! *closes my door*
Ashley Roberts: That was fun! See you tomorrow, Lincoln!
Lincoln Loud: Okay, bye!
Leni Loud: OMGosh!
Red Rectangle: Guys, I left my noodle here. Well, good night.
Yellow Rectangle: Good night.
The camera pans to Squidward's house, then fades into Squidward laying down on his bed sweating.
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, so hot!
Pool: *offscreen* Hey, Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: What? Huh, who said that? *walks to my window*
It appears to be glowing.
Pool: *glows while talking* Don't be a drip, take a dip! *laughs a bit* You know you want to.
Squidward Tentacles: *looks both ways* SpongeBob is asleep... Lincoln is going to the Loud House! I'll just take a quick dip to cool off! *chuckles
As he opens his window.
Pool: That-a-boy!
Squidward Tentacles: *climbs out of my house, now standing on the outside of my window*
Pool: Jump in!
Squidward Tentacles: *falls on the ground and sneaks behind the pool shed, then peeks out of the shed* Heh, pool!
He looks for anyone nearby and runs to the pool until he trips on a lounge chair and falls into the pools. He emerges from the pool screaming while covering his mouth with his hands. He swims to the ladder.
Squidward Tentacles: Thank Neptune nobody heard me. *looks the other way to see Gary*
Gary the Snail: *growls at Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: *smiles awkwardly at Gary*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *yells from my window* Gary! You leave those sea bunnies alone and come to bed!
Gary the Snail: *growls at Squidward and slaps his nose*
Squidward Tentacles: Ow!
Gary the Snail: *continues growling*
As he slithers back inside using the pet door.
Squidward Tentacles: *looks at SpongeBob's window where the light closes and sighs in relief* Now I can have the pool all to myself! *swims backwards into an inflatable chair* Oh, pool... *starts to sleep and the scene fades into my dream where many octopus guests are at the pool* Ciao, everybody!
Guests: Ciao, Squidwardo!
Guest #1: *with an Italian accent* Squidwardo, you must play your clarinet for us! You simply must!
Squidward Tentacles: I'll think about it! *gets up from the inflatable chair and dives into the pool*
Guests: *awes in disappointment*
But then sees Squidward emerging from the pool playing his clarinet on many large white platforms.
Squidward Tentacles: *swims*
As he continues playing his clarinet and the camera pans out to a view of the floor of the pool, which is Squidward's head.
Pool floor: Ciao bella!
As Squidward plays his clarinet, two mermaids appear on both sides and kisses his head, until the scene fades to reality with Squidward kissing until he falls off the inflatable chair and into the pool.
Squidward Tentacles: Egads! I must've fallen asleep!
SpongeBob, Patrick, Yellow, Red, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley are heard laughing.
Squidward Tentacles: Huh? *swims away from the pool* I can't let them find me here! *runs inside the pool shed to hide and closes the door on my tentacle*
He pulls back in.
Squidward Tentacles: *watches the seven inside*
Yellow Rectangle: Ooh, I can't wait to get wet!
Red Rectangle: Hey, where's the pool toys?
Squidward Tentacles: Oh, not the pool shed, not the pool shed, not the pool shed!
Yellow Rectangle: They're in the pool shed!
Squidward Tentacles: Eep! Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide! [runs to the toys]
Yellow Rectangle: *barges into the pool shed* Toys, toys, toys! Okay, Patrick, you can pick first.
Red Rectangle: Hmm.
The many toys are shown, and Squidward is cosplaying as one.
Red Rectangle: Which toy, which toy, which toy?
Squidward Tentacles: *in my thoughts* Not me, not me, not me!
Red Rectangle: *grabs Squidward's nose* I'll take this big ugly one! *chuckles, then shakes Squidward around* It's too floppy to float on! It needs more air. *grabs Squidward's lips, licks my own, puckers them, inhales, inflates Squidward and ties his lips* That oughta do it!
Yellow Rectangle: *holds a pool noodle* Hey, nice find, Red!
The slide transition cuts to Patrick walking to the pool with Squidward as a chair, then he throws him at the pool.
Patrick Star: *jumps* Cannon-sit! *lands on Squidward*
Lincoln Loud: *sneaks behind Leni and smacks her off Squidward using a pool noodle*
Patrick Star: *then grabs Squidward and smacks SpongeBob with him*
As the former exclaims "pool fight!"
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: *then constantly declares a pool fight*
The latter uses Squidward's nose to smack SpongeBob away into the pool shed.
Red Rectangle: Aw, it's broken!
Squidward Tentacles: *tears up*
Slide transition cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, Yellow, Red, Lincoln, Leni and Ashley riding Squidward.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: Ride the wave! Ride the wave! Yeah!
Squidward is seen suffocating under the pool. Slide transition cuts to Yellow and Red pulling tug of war with Squidward.
Yellow Rectangle: Tug it back! *tugs one of Squidward's arms*
Red Rectangle: Tug it forth! *tugs Squidward's other arm* Tug it forth!! *tugs so hard*
Yellow Rectangle: *loses my grip*
Red Rectangle: *gets hit by Squidward*
He is sending them both down the pool. Red is seen swimming backwards while Squidward sinks.
Slide transition cuts to the next scene with Squidward trying to swim out of the pool until he approaches Gary, who smacks his nose with one of his eyes.
Patrick Star: *grabs Squidward and climbs up the diving board while chuckles* Guys, watch this! *bounces on the diving board* Black hole! *dives into the pool with so much velocity*
He sucks the entire neighborhood into a black hole. After a moment, everything gets sucked back to normal.
SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star: *laughs*
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: Again, again!
Patrick Star: *chuckles*
Squidward pushed to his limit.
Squidward Tentacles: *unties my lips, screams and deflates* It's me! I was the pool toy, you idiots!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: *looks at each other*
Yellow Rectangle: Squidward, that's the greatest magic trick I've ever seen!
Red Rectangle: Yeah! Let's do it again! *grabs Squidward's lips and inhales*
Squidward Tentacles: *smacks Red's hand*
Red Rectangle: Ouch!
Squidward Tentacles: *sighs* Look Lincoln, I admit it. I used your pool without permission, because I'm really jealous of it. I want...
Camera pans to the pool chairs.
Squidward Tentacles: ...your pool chairs,
Camera pans to the pool jets.
Squidward Tentacles: I want your pool jets,
Camera pans to the pool noodles and a pool toy.
Squidward Tentacles: I want your pool noodles,
Camera pans to the diving board.
Squidward Tentacles: *walks to it* ...and most of all, I want this diving board. *starts crying hysterically*
Red Rectangle: Well, I guess this is the end. And now, we went to the pool shed and turned Squidward into a pool toy.
Yellow Rectangle: Yeah, we tricked Squidward into thinking he was the pool toy.
Red Rectangle: Yeah, we're sorry.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Guys, we're best friends. *pats Squidward's back* And Squidward, we're best neighbors!
Ashley Roberts: You can use my pool anytime you like, day or night!
Squidward Tentacles: *chuckles* Ah, gee. Thanks, guys!
Lincoln Loud: Say, *flaps Squidward's nose with my finger* how would you like to take a divey-wivey on the boardy-woardy, hm?
Squidward Tentacles: Oh no, thanks, but I just couldn't!
SpongeBob SquarePants: *with an Italian accent* Please, you must take a dive, Squidward!
Squidward Tentacles: Huh? *with Italian accent* I would love to take a dive I was on my high school swim team!
Yellow Rectangle: Hey, Squidward! This ladder is adjustable! Do you wanna go higher?
Squidward Tentacles: I love you all too!
Yellow Rectangle: Okay, I'll take that as a yes! Crank it up, Leni!
Leni Loud: *adjusts the ladder, making Squidward go all the way in space*
Squidward Tentacles: Ciao bella! I dive! *opens my eyes to see the entire Earth*
His eyes bug out as he screams.
Squidward Tentacles: *then clings onto the diving board* Too high, too high!
Ashley Roberts: Oh, it's too high, Leni!
Lincoln Loud: Crank it down!
Leni Loud: *accidentally snaps the crank off, then shrugs* Whoopsie!
The board moves slightly.
Squidward Tentacles: Huh? What was that?
He is sent flying down with the board and starts screaming.
Leni Loud: *hears Squidward screaming and tries placing the crank back*
Then she places it on top of the crank lift.
Leni Loud: *sighs happily, then when the crank falls off*
She sighs disappointed.
Squidward Tentacles: *continues falling down and the crank lift is on fire*
Lincoln Loud: *tries to put out the fire by making a water ball and throwing it at the fire, but it doesn't work*
Squidward is shown to be continuously falling then catching fire, eventually slamming into the pool.
SpongeBob SquarePants: *holds up a 10 score* Yay!
Patrick Star: *holds up a score with the letter G on it* Yeah!
Yellow Rectangle: *holds up a 10 score* Yay!
Ashley Roberts: *holds up a 10 score* Oh goodie!
Red Rectangle: *holds up a 10 score* Alright!
As Squidward floats face down, SpongeBob approaches next to him.
Lincoln Loud: Perfect dive, Squidward!
Squidward appears floating face down like he was earlier in the episode narrating.
Squidward Tentacles: *narrates* And that's how I got here.
Squidward's body parts detach and his head gets sucked by the pool filter, blocking it.
Squidward Tentacles: *with an Italian accent* Typical.
Slide transition cuts to Lincoln swimming.
Lincoln Loud: *narrates* Well, here I am. Swimming in the pool. Thanks to Squidward, I don't fear water anymore and I can always count on them for help and for them to have fun with.
Ashley Roberts: *excited* I'm gonna get you, Lincoln! *laughs and swims*
Lincoln Loud: Done!
They race to the door, but they each suffer from cramps.
Patrick Star: Noodle fight! *squirts SpongeBob with a noodle*
SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs*
Yellow Rectangle: This is fun, isn't it Red?
Red Rectangle: Yeah, swimming is fun.
Yellow Rectangle: I know, right.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red Rectangle, Lincoln, Leni Loud and Ashley Roberts: *plays with the kids*
Human Twin Sisters: *swims*
Human Twin Sister #1: Let's have fun together.
Human Twin Sister #2: Yeah.
Leni Loud: *squirts Ashley*
Ashley Roberts: You got me, Leni. *laughs*
Screen cuts to Squidward floating in the pool.
Squidward Tentacles: Where am I? I'm floating in the pool.
Human Twin Sister #1: Hey Squidward, let's play with us.
Human Twin Sister #2: Yeah, it'll be fun.
Human Twin Sisters: *takes Squidward to the pink toy pool*
Squidward Tentacles: *angrily* Hey, I don't want to sit in the pink toy pool!
Human Twin Sisters: *puts Squidward in the pink toy pool, then laughs at Squidward*
Squidward Tentacles: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Screen cuts in black and it says "THE END". Episode ends.
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